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3,715 | How to Be Fired Gracefully | 1. Steps
1-1. Take a minute (or five) to get over the shock and get your brain working again.
Breathe. If you feel like crying, go ahead - it won't change the situation but it will help you cope better if you can unload the emotion.
1-2. Think about this in the right way.
Your first impulse might be to assume you're a bad employee, a bad person or a complete failure, but this is just the panic talking. Instead say to yourself, "I've been in a job that wasn't a good match for me." This is important -- it's not the job that's at fault, and it's not you who's at fault -- it's the combination of you and the job that didn't work out. So don't feel ashamed. There are a million reasons for jobs don't work out, and none of them is 100% your fault.
1-3. Avoid trying to reverse the decision.
You may be tempted to ask for one more chance, but you should resist that urge. The decision has been made and is almost always irreversible. Pleading only weakens your negotiating power.
1-4. Negotiate the terms of your separation.
Your employer wants it to go smoothly so as not to acquire a reputation for cruelty. So here are some of the things you should ask for:
Agree with the employer how they will respond when someone calls them for a reference. The safest option is for them just to say, "Yes, he was employed here during these dates and our policy is not to discuss performance."
Ask for a generous separation package. Ask for all your remaining vacation and sick time in cash, and ask for as much separation pay as you think you can get - between one and three months worth. You probably won't get as much as you ask for, but it's a good starting point for negotiation.
Ask for the employer to continue insurance policies for some period. You're entitled to COBRA, but it's expensive, and it's much better if you can continue for a while with your employer's contribution.
Ask for help in finding a new job. Some employers will hook you up with an "outplacement" firm who will help you look for a new job. If they don't, ask "Can you suggest any companies that are hiring people for this kind of position?" They may be well connected.
1-5. Leave with dignity.
Don't wait until the end of the day -- go clean out your desk and leave immediately. If people stop by to say goodbye, thank them kindly, but don't roam the halls telling people what happened to you. Never ever badmouth your boss or the company -- burning bridges will come back to haunt you.
1-6. Tell your family immediately.
Even if you're feeling shocked and ashamed, tell your family what happened and discuss how you should handle it as a family. Though they'll be shocked and dismayed, in the long run this will reduce the amount of anxiety as you start to react together.
1-7. Give yourself healing time.
You're going to be tempted to get out and start looking for new work on the next day, but you need to give yourself time to process what just happened, to wash the shame and panic out of your system, and to start thinking clearly. So set a definite period of a week or two and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your family.
1-8. Realize that it's not the end of the road.
While difficult to do, you have to stop thinking of the termination as the end of something, and start thinking of it as a change of course that might lead you to a better situation. It's definitely not fun, but it might turn into an opportunity.
Tips
Take time to decide if you want to continue in the same field or if you want to try something else.[9]
X
Research source
Your phone will probably ring constantly for a few days with all of your friends and former co-workers calling to check on you. Resist the urge to talk to everyone. Send word by a friend that you are doing well and taking time to decompress and you will call people back in a few days, weeks, months, whatever.
Verify that you will not be held to a non-compete or other contract and that you are free to seek employment anywhere. If they try to hold you to a non-compete or contract you should be given a severance package.
Warnings
Resist the urge to call your former co-workers and complain about the company or management.
Don't go home, pack a bag and get out of town. Running away from your problems only makes things worse, not only that but a newcomer to a different city's job without a good reason (e.g. job transfer, family members job transferred, natural disaster, layoff, etc.) is a red flag to all employers. Instead get into action by updating your resume and posting it to places like CareerBuilder.com and work any contacts you have about possible jobs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Take a minute (or five) to get over the shock and get your brain working again.\\nBreathe. If you feel like crying, go ahead - it won't change the situation but it will help you cope better if you can unload the emotion.\\n1-2. Think about this in the right way.\\nYour first impulse might be to assume you're a bad employee, a bad person or a complete failure, but this is just the panic talking. Instead say to yourself, \\\"I've been in a job that wasn't a good match for me.\\\" This is important -- it's not the job that's at fault, and it's not you who's at fault -- it's the combination of you and the job that didn't work out. So don't feel ashamed. There are a million reasons for jobs don't work out, and none of them is 100% your fault.\\n1-3. Avoid trying to reverse the decision.\\nYou may be tempted to ask for one more chance, but you should resist that urge. The decision has been made and is almost always irreversible. Pleading only weakens your negotiating power.\\n1-4. Negotiate the terms of your separation.\\nYour employer wants it to go smoothly so as not to acquire a reputation for cruelty. So here are some of the things you should ask for:\\nAgree with the employer how they will respond when someone calls them for a reference. The safest option is for them just to say, \\\"Yes, he was employed here during these dates and our policy is not to discuss performance.\\\"\\nAsk for a generous separation package. Ask for all your remaining vacation and sick time in cash, and ask for as much separation pay as you think you can get - between one and three months worth. You probably won't get as much as you ask for, but it's a good starting point for negotiation.\\nAsk for the employer to continue insurance policies for some period. You're entitled to COBRA, but it's expensive, and it's much better if you can continue for a while with your employer's contribution.\\nAsk for help in finding a new job. Some employers will hook you up with an \\\"outplacement\\\" firm who will help you look for a new job. If they don't, ask \\\"Can you suggest any companies that are hiring people for this kind of position?\\\" They may be well connected.\\n1-5. Leave with dignity.\\nDon't wait until the end of the day -- go clean out your desk and leave immediately. If people stop by to say goodbye, thank them kindly, but don't roam the halls telling people what happened to you. Never ever badmouth your boss or the company -- burning bridges will come back to haunt you.\\n1-6. Tell your family immediately.\\nEven if you're feeling shocked and ashamed, tell your family what happened and discuss how you should handle it as a family. Though they'll be shocked and dismayed, in the long run this will reduce the amount of anxiety as you start to react together.\\n1-7. Give yourself healing time.\\nYou're going to be tempted to get out and start looking for new work on the next day, but you need to give yourself time to process what just happened, to wash the shame and panic out of your system, and to start thinking clearly. So set a definite period of a week or two and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your family.\\n1-8. Realize that it's not the end of the road.\\nWhile difficult to do, you have to stop thinking of the termination as the end of something, and start thinking of it as a change of course that might lead you to a better situation. It's definitely not fun, but it might turn into an opportunity.\\nTips\\nTake time to decide if you want to continue in the same field or if you want to try something else.[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nYour phone will probably ring constantly for a few days with all of your friends and former co-workers calling to check on you. Resist the urge to talk to everyone. Send word by a friend that you are doing well and taking time to decompress and you will call people back in a few days, weeks, months, whatever.\\nVerify that you will not be held to a non-compete or other contract and that you are free to seek employment anywhere. If they try to hold you to a non-compete or contract you should be given a severance package.\\nWarnings\\nResist the urge to call your former co-workers and complain about the company or management.\\nDon't go home, pack a bag and get out of town. Running away from your problems only makes things worse, not only that but a newcomer to a different city's job without a good reason (e.g. job transfer, family members job transferred, natural disaster, layoff, etc.) is a red flag to all employers. Instead get into action by updating your resume and posting it to places like CareerBuilder.com and work any contacts you have about possible jobs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your boss calls you into his/her office, closes the door, and says, \\\"...we're not happy with your performance on this job, so we're terminating your employment. Go clean out your desk and report to HR for your exit interview and final paycheck.\\\" What is the best way to deal with this situation while maintaining your dignity?\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a minute (or five) to get over the shock and get your brain working again.\", \"描述\": \"Breathe. If you feel like crying, go ahead - it won't change the situation but it will help you cope better if you can unload the emotion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think about this in the right way.\", \"描述\": \"Your first impulse might be to assume you're a bad employee, a bad person or a complete failure, but this is just the panic talking. Instead say to yourself, \\\"I've been in a job that wasn't a good match for me.\\\" This is important -- it's not the job that's at fault, and it's not you who's at fault -- it's the combination of you and the job that didn't work out. So don't feel ashamed. There are a million reasons for jobs don't work out, and none of them is 100% your fault.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid trying to reverse the decision.\", \"描述\": \"You may be tempted to ask for one more chance, but you should resist that urge. The decision has been made and is almost always irreversible. Pleading only weakens your negotiating power.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Negotiate the terms of your separation.\", \"描述\": \"Your employer wants it to go smoothly so as not to acquire a reputation for cruelty. So here are some of the things you should ask for:\\nAgree with the employer how they will respond when someone calls them for a reference. The safest option is for them just to say, \\\"Yes, he was employed here during these dates and our policy is not to discuss performance.\\\"\\nAsk for a generous separation package. Ask for all your remaining vacation and sick time in cash, and ask for as much separation pay as you think you can get - between one and three months worth. You probably won't get as much as you ask for, but it's a good starting point for negotiation.\\nAsk for the employer to continue insurance policies for some period. You're entitled to COBRA, but it's expensive, and it's much better if you can continue for a while with your employer's contribution.\\nAsk for help in finding a new job. Some employers will hook you up with an \\\"outplacement\\\" firm who will help you look for a new job. If they don't, ask \\\"Can you suggest any companies that are hiring people for this kind of position?\\\" They may be well connected.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Leave with dignity.\", \"描述\": \"Don't wait until the end of the day -- go clean out your desk and leave immediately. If people stop by to say goodbye, thank them kindly, but don't roam the halls telling people what happened to you. Never ever badmouth your boss or the company -- burning bridges will come back to haunt you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell your family immediately.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're feeling shocked and ashamed, tell your family what happened and discuss how you should handle it as a family. Though they'll be shocked and dismayed, in the long run this will reduce the amount of anxiety as you start to react together.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give yourself healing time.\", \"描述\": \"You're going to be tempted to get out and start looking for new work on the next day, but you need to give yourself time to process what just happened, to wash the shame and panic out of your system, and to start thinking clearly. So set a definite period of a week or two and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your family.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Realize that it's not the end of the road.\", \"描述\": \"While difficult to do, you have to stop thinking of the termination as the end of something, and start thinking of it as a change of course that might lead you to a better situation. It's definitely not fun, but it might turn into an opportunity.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take time to decide if you want to continue in the same field or if you want to try something else.[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Your phone will probably ring constantly for a few days with all of your friends and former co-workers calling to check on you. Resist the urge to talk to everyone. Send word by a friend that you are doing well and taking time to decompress and you will call people back in a few days, weeks, months, whatever.\\n\", \"Verify that you will not be held to a non-compete or other contract and that you are free to seek employment anywhere. If they try to hold you to a non-compete or contract you should be given a severance package.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Resist the urge to call your former co-workers and complain about the company or management.\\n\", \"Don't go home, pack a bag and get out of town. Running away from your problems only makes things worse, not only that but a newcomer to a different city's job without a good reason (e.g. job transfer, family members job transferred, natural disaster, layoff, etc.) is a red flag to all employers. Instead get into action by updating your resume and posting it to places like CareerBuilder.com and work any contacts you have about possible jobs.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,716 | How to Be First Chair in Orchestra | 1. Making Sure You're Ready for First Chair
1-1. Ask yourself why you want it.
Being first chair (or concertmaster) is gratifying, because it means that your orchestra director trusts you to lead and occasionally perform solos. However, all that leadership comes with big responsibilities. If music is a priority for you and you feel dedicated to the ensemble you play in, then you just might make a wonderful first chair. Ask yourself some of these questions so you’ll know how to approach your goal:
Will you be able to attend all rehearsals?
Do you have time to practice, so that you know your music well enough for others to follow you?
Do you like helping others if they’re stuck?
How will you support the orchestra if you don’t get first chair? This is important, because there can only be one first chair. If you don’t end up getting it, will you still be dedicated to the group?
1-2. Learn the requirements.
Some orchestras have tests for first chairs once every two weeks or so. Others have a constant first chair throughout the semester or even the year. Still others allow challengers to compete against the current first chair--each musician plays the same piece, and your teacher or director picks the best performance. Know how you have to try out so that you can prepare yourself.
Check if your orchestra has age limits on who can be first chair. If only eighth-graders are allowed to be first chair and you’re a seventh-grader, spend the year practicing so you’ll perform incredibly next year.
If your orchestra’s first-chair system relies on challenges, don’t challenge the current first chair too often. Challenges take up class time, so you don't want to do them frequently. Also, you might get a reputation as being difficult.
1-3. Be kind to your section mates.
The best first chairs aren’t divas. Instead, they’re aware that they set an example for the rest of the ensemble, in performance and in rehearsal. If you want to be a good leader, you have to focus on other’s needs as well as your own.
Be courteous to your fellow musicians. Be early for rehearsals, don’t hog sheet music or stands, and don’t trash-talk anyone else’s style.
Be available for help when others need it. If someone asks you for advice on their playing, it means that they trust you.
1-4. Practice.
There’s just no getting around it. It takes a lot of effort and dedication to become first chair. You need to make sure that you’re the best musician you can be, and the best way to get there is by practicing often and well.
Set aside time every day. If you go to school and have other extracurriculars, you probably feel really busy. Promise yourself that you’ll practice a certain amount of time every day, and arrange your schedule so that you can make that happen.
Practice in a consistent space. If you can, set up an area--maybe in your bedroom or living room--with a chair, music stand, and mirror (so you can check your posture). This will help you think of music practice as a normal part of your schedule.
1-5. Ask your parents if you can take private lessons.
Many of the most dedicated musicians in your orchestra probably already work one-on-one with a teacher. In private lessons, you can improve your technique even more than you can with practice, because your teacher can point out strengths and weaknesses in your performance that you wouldn’t notice otherwise. This can be enough to give you an edge.
What you say will depend on your history with your instrument and your relationship with your parents. Pick a quiet time, like when you're driving or doing the dishes together, and say "I've been thinking that I'd like to try private instruction so I can get better at violin. Is that something I could do?"
If your parents can't get you private lessons, do your best to accept it. You can still improve a lot by practicing and attending orchestra.
2. Feeling Confident in Your Audition
2-1. Review the material and tryout process for first chair.
Will you be playing a movement, or just a few phrases? Will you be performing for just your teacher or conductor, or the whole class? Make sure you’re prepared for the structure of the tryout, so you start with a confident, unruffled air about you.
2-2. Hold a mini-concert for your family.
The night before the audition, gather your family together and play all your audition material exactly as you plan to the next day. This will help you know what it’s like to perform for an audience in a relatively low-pressure way. It will also check that you have all your material memorized (if necessary).
If you make a mistake, don’t say so. Keep going and do your best.
If you have very snarky or giggly siblings, then you don’t have to play for them. Just your parent(s) or guardians will do.
2-3. Visualize a good performance.
Imagining yourself playing amazingly doesn’t replace practice, but it definitely helps. Before you go to sleep at night, close your eyes and imagine yourself playing confidently and well at your tryout. The day of your performance, your brain will be used to picturing what you need to do, so it will go more smoothly.
2-4. Be prepared the day of the testing.
Whether it’s a challenge or audition, you want to do everything you can to set yourself up for success. Give yourself plenty of time the night before and the morning of your try-out, so you don’t feel rushed.
Prep your instrument. Before you leave your house in the morning, remember to take your instrument with you. Make sure that it’s clean and that you have all the parts you need. Pack your instrument-specific supplies such as extra reeds or rosin if you need them.
Get a good night’s sleep. You’ll perform your best if you’re alert.
Eat a good breakfast. Some performers say that eating a banana helps them calm their nerves. Really, the important thing is to eat food that makes you feel full and energetic.
Wear something lucky (if you have it). You’ll be relying on your musicianship and preparation, of course, but your favorite t-shirt or necklace just might be the boost of confidence you need.
2-5. Relax.
Before your try-out, make sure you’re taking deep, slow breaths to calm your body. If you’ve worked hard and practiced to get to where you are, you deserve to feel proud of yourself. Whatever the results of the tryout or challenge are, they’re second to your dedication to your instrument. You can’t do a yoga pose to de-stress yourself in the middle of your audition, but you think some happy thoughts:
You’re a musician, so you belong in an orchestra, and you deserve to take a shot to be a student leader.
Your teacher or conductor is rooting for you and wants you to play well.
You have set a goal for yourself, and that’s admirable.
2-6. Be gracious no matter the outcome.
Not to sound like a broken record, but an orchestra is a group of people who come together with the same goal: to make beautiful music. Every person there, including you, contributes to that. With that in mind, try to accept your director’s decision as gracefully as you can.
If you don’t get first chair this time, it’s okay--you worked really hard, and you’re going to continue to improve. Congratulate the first chair, and then concentrate on making yourself and the group sound good.
If you get first chair, try to look ahead to your new responsibilities: you have so much to do!
3. Being a Good First Chair
3-1. Act like a leader.
Now that you’re in the position of the concertmaster, it’s extra-important for you to model good practices for your fellow musicians. You’ve probably been on your best behavior for a while now, but it’s always good to refresh yourself. Do you have habits that are getting in the way, like tapping your toes to keep tempo? It’s time to address them.
Always be early to rehearsals, so you’re fully prepared to start at the beginning. Your director probably already says “Early is on time, on time is late,” anyway.
Stay alert. If you start daydreaming and lose your place, you won’t be able to lead your group as well as you could otherwise.
If you notice anyone playing really beautifully, feel free to compliment them (after rehearsal). You’re all there to sound beautiful together.
3-2. Practice as much as you can.
Again, there’s simply no way to avoid it. Practicing will make your performances crisper and more artistic. Once you have your basic fingerings down, you will play more confidently at rehearsal. Practice so you can both play well and lead your section more effectively!
Practice any solo parts. Principal players may get solos. Pay special attention to these parts during your practice.
Listen to recordings of your pieces with your music in front of you. Know how your part fits in with the orchestra. Listen especially for rhythms, phrasing, and cues.
3-3. For string section leaders, make bowings for your pieces if not already given.
Unless already done for you, it is your responsibility to chose bowings for your section. If you need help, watch the bowings of other orchestras, or talk to your private teacher or conductor.
3-4. Ask for help if you need it.
If you’re ever feeling stressed or stuck, the conductor of your ensemble is your best source of guidance. Whether you’re trying to get a particular phrase down perfectly or worried about conflict in the group, you don’t have to solve all the orchestra’s problems by yourself.
Be direct when you ask for help. Say something like "I'm having trouble getting the first few bars of the second movement right. Do you have any advice about how to make it sound more natural?"
3-5. Focus on the group.
At the end of the day, everything you do as first chair--even your amazing solo--is done with the goal of making the whole orchestra sound great. Focus on lifting up your stand mate, your section, and your whole group, blend, and be a supportive presence, and you’ll make beautiful music with your fellow musicians.
Tips
Organize section practices if you can.
If you take private lessons, it’s worth it to put in a little effort to find a teacher you “click” with. If you’re intimidated by your teacher, or can’t take them seriously, you just won’t learn as much as you might with someone you mesh with better.
Warnings
Being first chair is a great goal, but don’t let it overshadow the joy you take in music.
Don't challenge the existing first chair too often. It might make you seem combative.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Sure You're Ready for First Chair\\n1-1. Ask yourself why you want it.\\nBeing first chair (or concertmaster) is gratifying, because it means that your orchestra director trusts you to lead and occasionally perform solos. However, all that leadership comes with big responsibilities. If music is a priority for you and you feel dedicated to the ensemble you play in, then you just might make a wonderful first chair. Ask yourself some of these questions so you’ll know how to approach your goal:\\nWill you be able to attend all rehearsals?\\nDo you have time to practice, so that you know your music well enough for others to follow you?\\nDo you like helping others if they’re stuck?\\nHow will you support the orchestra if you don’t get first chair? This is important, because there can only be one first chair. If you don’t end up getting it, will you still be dedicated to the group?\\n1-2. Learn the requirements.\\nSome orchestras have tests for first chairs once every two weeks or so. Others have a constant first chair throughout the semester or even the year. Still others allow challengers to compete against the current first chair--each musician plays the same piece, and your teacher or director picks the best performance. Know how you have to try out so that you can prepare yourself.\\nCheck if your orchestra has age limits on who can be first chair. If only eighth-graders are allowed to be first chair and you’re a seventh-grader, spend the year practicing so you’ll perform incredibly next year.\\nIf your orchestra’s first-chair system relies on challenges, don’t challenge the current first chair too often. Challenges take up class time, so you don't want to do them frequently. Also, you might get a reputation as being difficult.\\n1-3. Be kind to your section mates.\\nThe best first chairs aren’t divas. Instead, they’re aware that they set an example for the rest of the ensemble, in performance and in rehearsal. If you want to be a good leader, you have to focus on other’s needs as well as your own.\\nBe courteous to your fellow musicians. Be early for rehearsals, don’t hog sheet music or stands, and don’t trash-talk anyone else’s style.\\nBe available for help when others need it. If someone asks you for advice on their playing, it means that they trust you.\\n1-4. Practice.\\nThere’s just no getting around it. It takes a lot of effort and dedication to become first chair. You need to make sure that you’re the best musician you can be, and the best way to get there is by practicing often and well.\\nSet aside time every day. If you go to school and have other extracurriculars, you probably feel really busy. Promise yourself that you’ll practice a certain amount of time every day, and arrange your schedule so that you can make that happen.\\nPractice in a consistent space. If you can, set up an area--maybe in your bedroom or living room--with a chair, music stand, and mirror (so you can check your posture). This will help you think of music practice as a normal part of your schedule.\\n1-5. Ask your parents if you can take private lessons.\\nMany of the most dedicated musicians in your orchestra probably already work one-on-one with a teacher. In private lessons, you can improve your technique even more than you can with practice, because your teacher can point out strengths and weaknesses in your performance that you wouldn’t notice otherwise. This can be enough to give you an edge.\\nWhat you say will depend on your history with your instrument and your relationship with your parents. Pick a quiet time, like when you're driving or doing the dishes together, and say \\\"I've been thinking that I'd like to try private instruction so I can get better at violin. Is that something I could do?\\\"\\nIf your parents can't get you private lessons, do your best to accept it. You can still improve a lot by practicing and attending orchestra.\\n2. Feeling Confident in Your Audition\\n2-1. Review the material and tryout process for first chair.\\nWill you be playing a movement, or just a few phrases? Will you be performing for just your teacher or conductor, or the whole class? Make sure you’re prepared for the structure of the tryout, so you start with a confident, unruffled air about you.\\n2-2. Hold a mini-concert for your family.\\nThe night before the audition, gather your family together and play all your audition material exactly as you plan to the next day. This will help you know what it’s like to perform for an audience in a relatively low-pressure way. It will also check that you have all your material memorized (if necessary).\\nIf you make a mistake, don’t say so. Keep going and do your best.\\nIf you have very snarky or giggly siblings, then you don’t have to play for them. Just your parent(s) or guardians will do.\\n2-3. Visualize a good performance.\\nImagining yourself playing amazingly doesn’t replace practice, but it definitely helps. Before you go to sleep at night, close your eyes and imagine yourself playing confidently and well at your tryout. The day of your performance, your brain will be used to picturing what you need to do, so it will go more smoothly.\\n2-4. Be prepared the day of the testing.\\nWhether it’s a challenge or audition, you want to do everything you can to set yourself up for success. Give yourself plenty of time the night before and the morning of your try-out, so you don’t feel rushed.\\nPrep your instrument. Before you leave your house in the morning, remember to take your instrument with you. Make sure that it’s clean and that you have all the parts you need. Pack your instrument-specific supplies such as extra reeds or rosin if you need them.\\nGet a good night’s sleep. You’ll perform your best if you’re alert.\\nEat a good breakfast. Some performers say that eating a banana helps them calm their nerves. Really, the important thing is to eat food that makes you feel full and energetic.\\nWear something lucky (if you have it). You’ll be relying on your musicianship and preparation, of course, but your favorite t-shirt or necklace just might be the boost of confidence you need.\\n2-5. Relax.\\nBefore your try-out, make sure you’re taking deep, slow breaths to calm your body. If you’ve worked hard and practiced to get to where you are, you deserve to feel proud of yourself. Whatever the results of the tryout or challenge are, they’re second to your dedication to your instrument. You can’t do a yoga pose to de-stress yourself in the middle of your audition, but you think some happy thoughts:\\nYou’re a musician, so you belong in an orchestra, and you deserve to take a shot to be a student leader.\\nYour teacher or conductor is rooting for you and wants you to play well.\\nYou have set a goal for yourself, and that’s admirable.\\n2-6. Be gracious no matter the outcome.\\nNot to sound like a broken record, but an orchestra is a group of people who come together with the same goal: to make beautiful music. Every person there, including you, contributes to that. With that in mind, try to accept your director’s decision as gracefully as you can.\\nIf you don’t get first chair this time, it’s okay--you worked really hard, and you’re going to continue to improve. Congratulate the first chair, and then concentrate on making yourself and the group sound good.\\nIf you get first chair, try to look ahead to your new responsibilities: you have so much to do!\\n3. Being a Good First Chair\\n3-1. Act like a leader.\\nNow that you’re in the position of the concertmaster, it’s extra-important for you to model good practices for your fellow musicians. You’ve probably been on your best behavior for a while now, but it’s always good to refresh yourself. Do you have habits that are getting in the way, like tapping your toes to keep tempo? It’s time to address them.\\nAlways be early to rehearsals, so you’re fully prepared to start at the beginning. Your director probably already says “Early is on time, on time is late,” anyway.\\nStay alert. If you start daydreaming and lose your place, you won’t be able to lead your group as well as you could otherwise.\\nIf you notice anyone playing really beautifully, feel free to compliment them (after rehearsal). You’re all there to sound beautiful together.\\n3-2. Practice as much as you can.\\nAgain, there’s simply no way to avoid it. Practicing will make your performances crisper and more artistic. Once you have your basic fingerings down, you will play more confidently at rehearsal. Practice so you can both play well and lead your section more effectively!\\nPractice any solo parts. Principal players may get solos. Pay special attention to these parts during your practice.\\nListen to recordings of your pieces with your music in front of you. Know how your part fits in with the orchestra. Listen especially for rhythms, phrasing, and cues.\\n3-3. For string section leaders, make bowings for your pieces if not already given.\\nUnless already done for you, it is your responsibility to chose bowings for your section. If you need help, watch the bowings of other orchestras, or talk to your private teacher or conductor.\\n3-4. Ask for help if you need it.\\nIf you’re ever feeling stressed or stuck, the conductor of your ensemble is your best source of guidance. Whether you’re trying to get a particular phrase down perfectly or worried about conflict in the group, you don’t have to solve all the orchestra’s problems by yourself.\\nBe direct when you ask for help. Say something like \\\"I'm having trouble getting the first few bars of the second movement right. Do you have any advice about how to make it sound more natural?\\\"\\n3-5. Focus on the group.\\nAt the end of the day, everything you do as first chair--even your amazing solo--is done with the goal of making the whole orchestra sound great. Focus on lifting up your stand mate, your section, and your whole group, blend, and be a supportive presence, and you’ll make beautiful music with your fellow musicians.\\nTips\\nOrganize section practices if you can.\\nIf you take private lessons, it’s worth it to put in a little effort to find a teacher you “click” with. If you’re intimidated by your teacher, or can’t take them seriously, you just won’t learn as much as you might with someone you mesh with better.\\nWarnings\\nBeing first chair is a great goal, but don’t let it overshadow the joy you take in music.\\nDon't challenge the existing first chair too often. It might make you seem combative.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The first chair in an orchestra or band holds a lot of power: after the conductor, the rest of the ensemble looks to the first chair for clues on musicality and performance. Because of this, the position of first chair usually goes to an accomplished musician who is conscientious enough to keep the group on task. If you’re eager to push yourself musically, you’re probably interested in being first chair, but it’s not easy. Your best bet is to prepare by practicing a lot, being a reliable member of your ensemble, and honing your leadership style.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Sure You're Ready for First Chair\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself why you want it.\", \"描述\": \"Being first chair (or concertmaster) is gratifying, because it means that your orchestra director trusts you to lead and occasionally perform solos. However, all that leadership comes with big responsibilities. If music is a priority for you and you feel dedicated to the ensemble you play in, then you just might make a wonderful first chair. Ask yourself some of these questions so you’ll know how to approach your goal:\\nWill you be able to attend all rehearsals?\\nDo you have time to practice, so that you know your music well enough for others to follow you?\\nDo you like helping others if they’re stuck?\\nHow will you support the orchestra if you don’t get first chair? This is important, because there can only be one first chair. If you don’t end up getting it, will you still be dedicated to the group?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the requirements.\", \"描述\": \"Some orchestras have tests for first chairs once every two weeks or so. Others have a constant first chair throughout the semester or even the year. Still others allow challengers to compete against the current first chair--each musician plays the same piece, and your teacher or director picks the best performance. Know how you have to try out so that you can prepare yourself.\\nCheck if your orchestra has age limits on who can be first chair. If only eighth-graders are allowed to be first chair and you’re a seventh-grader, spend the year practicing so you’ll perform incredibly next year.\\nIf your orchestra’s first-chair system relies on challenges, don’t challenge the current first chair too often. Challenges take up class time, so you don't want to do them frequently. Also, you might get a reputation as being difficult.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be kind to your section mates.\", \"描述\": \"The best first chairs aren’t divas. Instead, they’re aware that they set an example for the rest of the ensemble, in performance and in rehearsal. If you want to be a good leader, you have to focus on other’s needs as well as your own.\\nBe courteous to your fellow musicians. Be early for rehearsals, don’t hog sheet music or stands, and don’t trash-talk anyone else’s style.\\nBe available for help when others need it. If someone asks you for advice on their playing, it means that they trust you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"描述\": \"There’s just no getting around it. It takes a lot of effort and dedication to become first chair. You need to make sure that you’re the best musician you can be, and the best way to get there is by practicing often and well.\\nSet aside time every day. If you go to school and have other extracurriculars, you probably feel really busy. Promise yourself that you’ll practice a certain amount of time every day, and arrange your schedule so that you can make that happen.\\nPractice in a consistent space. If you can, set up an area--maybe in your bedroom or living room--with a chair, music stand, and mirror (so you can check your posture). This will help you think of music practice as a normal part of your schedule.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask your parents if you can take private lessons.\", \"描述\": \"Many of the most dedicated musicians in your orchestra probably already work one-on-one with a teacher. In private lessons, you can improve your technique even more than you can with practice, because your teacher can point out strengths and weaknesses in your performance that you wouldn’t notice otherwise. This can be enough to give you an edge.\\nWhat you say will depend on your history with your instrument and your relationship with your parents. Pick a quiet time, like when you're driving or doing the dishes together, and say \\\"I've been thinking that I'd like to try private instruction so I can get better at violin. Is that something I could do?\\\"\\nIf your parents can't get you private lessons, do your best to accept it. You can still improve a lot by practicing and attending orchestra.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Feeling Confident in Your Audition\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review the material and tryout process for first chair.\", \"描述\": \"Will you be playing a movement, or just a few phrases? Will you be performing for just your teacher or conductor, or the whole class? Make sure you’re prepared for the structure of the tryout, so you start with a confident, unruffled air about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hold a mini-concert for your family.\", \"描述\": \"The night before the audition, gather your family together and play all your audition material exactly as you plan to the next day. This will help you know what it’s like to perform for an audience in a relatively low-pressure way. It will also check that you have all your material memorized (if necessary).\\nIf you make a mistake, don’t say so. Keep going and do your best.\\nIf you have very snarky or giggly siblings, then you don’t have to play for them. Just your parent(s) or guardians will do.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visualize a good performance.\", \"描述\": \"Imagining yourself playing amazingly doesn’t replace practice, but it definitely helps. Before you go to sleep at night, close your eyes and imagine yourself playing confidently and well at your tryout. The day of your performance, your brain will be used to picturing what you need to do, so it will go more smoothly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared the day of the testing.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s a challenge or audition, you want to do everything you can to set yourself up for success. Give yourself plenty of time the night before and the morning of your try-out, so you don’t feel rushed.\\nPrep your instrument. Before you leave your house in the morning, remember to take your instrument with you. Make sure that it’s clean and that you have all the parts you need. Pack your instrument-specific supplies such as extra reeds or rosin if you need them.\\nGet a good night’s sleep. You’ll perform your best if you’re alert.\\nEat a good breakfast. Some performers say that eating a banana helps them calm their nerves. Really, the important thing is to eat food that makes you feel full and energetic.\\nWear something lucky (if you have it). You’ll be relying on your musicianship and preparation, of course, but your favorite t-shirt or necklace just might be the boost of confidence you need.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Relax.\", \"描述\": \"Before your try-out, make sure you’re taking deep, slow breaths to calm your body. If you’ve worked hard and practiced to get to where you are, you deserve to feel proud of yourself. Whatever the results of the tryout or challenge are, they’re second to your dedication to your instrument. You can’t do a yoga pose to de-stress yourself in the middle of your audition, but you think some happy thoughts:\\nYou’re a musician, so you belong in an orchestra, and you deserve to take a shot to be a student leader.\\nYour teacher or conductor is rooting for you and wants you to play well.\\nYou have set a goal for yourself, and that’s admirable.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be gracious no matter the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"Not to sound like a broken record, but an orchestra is a group of people who come together with the same goal: to make beautiful music. Every person there, including you, contributes to that. With that in mind, try to accept your director’s decision as gracefully as you can.\\nIf you don’t get first chair this time, it’s okay--you worked really hard, and you’re going to continue to improve. Congratulate the first chair, and then concentrate on making yourself and the group sound good.\\nIf you get first chair, try to look ahead to your new responsibilities: you have so much to do!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Good First Chair\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act like a leader.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you’re in the position of the concertmaster, it’s extra-important for you to model good practices for your fellow musicians. You’ve probably been on your best behavior for a while now, but it’s always good to refresh yourself. Do you have habits that are getting in the way, like tapping your toes to keep tempo? It’s time to address them.\\nAlways be early to rehearsals, so you’re fully prepared to start at the beginning. Your director probably already says “Early is on time, on time is late,” anyway.\\nStay alert. If you start daydreaming and lose your place, you won’t be able to lead your group as well as you could otherwise.\\nIf you notice anyone playing really beautifully, feel free to compliment them (after rehearsal). You’re all there to sound beautiful together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Again, there’s simply no way to avoid it. Practicing will make your performances crisper and more artistic. Once you have your basic fingerings down, you will play more confidently at rehearsal. Practice so you can both play well and lead your section more effectively!\\nPractice any solo parts. Principal players may get solos. Pay special attention to these parts during your practice.\\nListen to recordings of your pieces with your music in front of you. Know how your part fits in with the orchestra. Listen especially for rhythms, phrasing, and cues.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"For string section leaders, make bowings for your pieces if not already given.\", \"描述\": \"Unless already done for you, it is your responsibility to chose bowings for your section. If you need help, watch the bowings of other orchestras, or talk to your private teacher or conductor.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for help if you need it.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re ever feeling stressed or stuck, the conductor of your ensemble is your best source of guidance. Whether you’re trying to get a particular phrase down perfectly or worried about conflict in the group, you don’t have to solve all the orchestra’s problems by yourself.\\nBe direct when you ask for help. Say something like \\\"I'm having trouble getting the first few bars of the second movement right. Do you have any advice about how to make it sound more natural?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on the group.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of the day, everything you do as first chair--even your amazing solo--is done with the goal of making the whole orchestra sound great. Focus on lifting up your stand mate, your section, and your whole group, blend, and be a supportive presence, and you’ll make beautiful music with your fellow musicians.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Organize section practices if you can.\\n\", \"If you take private lessons, it’s worth it to put in a little effort to find a teacher you “click” with. If you’re intimidated by your teacher, or can’t take them seriously, you just won’t learn as much as you might with someone you mesh with better.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being first chair is a great goal, but don’t let it overshadow the joy you take in music.\\n\", \"Don't challenge the existing first chair too often. It might make you seem combative.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,717 | How to Be Fit and Sexy | 1. Getting Fit
1-1. Get regular aerobic exercise.
Healthy adults should get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity a week. Break your exercise up into shorter increments across the week. Aerobic exercise makes you altogether healthier. It helps you maintain a healthy weight, lowers your risk of heart disease, and lowers your risk of contracting viral illnesses.
Aerobic exercise also makes you happier. Getting regular exercise can make you more energetic, confident, and relaxed.
A moderate aerobic activity is one you can talk through, such as a brisk walk, a slow bike ride, or ballroom dancing.
An aerobic activity is considered vigorous if it takes up your breath and talking is difficult. This can include fast biking, running, or swimming laps.
1-2. Tone your muscles.
Strength training will increase your lean muscle mass. It also teaches your body to burn calories more efficiently. Most adults benefit from doing strength training exercise at least twice a week. Your strength training routine should work all your major muscle groups: don't just lift a dumbbell! You can strength train at home by doing crunches, lunges, and squats.
Strength training can be done with weight-machines at a gym. It can also be done with weights, plastic tubing, or with no props at all.
Take a class or watch an exercise video before embarking on a new form of exercise. If something hurts, stop.
1-3. Stretch after you exercise.
Aerobic and strength training exercise cause your muscles to contract. Spend a few minutes stretching your major muscle groups afterward to boost circulation and maintain flexibility. Stretch slowly, without bouncing, and do not hold painful poses.
Stretching before you exercise may decrease your performance, or even increase your risk of injury.
1-4. Find an exercise routine you can enjoy.
If you have a routine you don't enjoy, it will be harder for you to keep it up. Try different ways of incorporating exercise into your life to see what excites you. If you like going to the gym, for example, it makes sense to get a gym membership. If you aren't sure, many gyms offer trial memberships.
Are you socially motivated? Drop in on some exercise classes at the community center, or go online and find a meet-up group. Ask a friend to take walks with you, or share your fitness goals online.
Do you prefer to sweat alone? Try biking or running in your neighborhood, or on a trail. You can do many solo exercises in the comfort of your own home, or even at your office.
1-5. Eat well and drink water.
To be fit, healthy, and sexy, eat a variety of foods. Eating a wide range of foods will help you get the nutrients your body needs. Eat fruits and vegetables every day, and make sure you don't skip your carbohydrates or protein. You need carbohydrates to work out, and protein to help your muscles grow and repair. Drink water before and after you exercise, and whenever you're thirsty.
If you know when you're going to exercise, you can hydrate the day ahead. Drink an extra few glasses of water the day before you engage in strenuous exercise. If your urine is clear, you're probably hydrated.
Avoid highly-processed food and drink, such as microwave meals and soda. Prepare your own food at home as often as you can: home cooking is almost always more nutritious than prepackaged or restaurant food.
It's important that you stay hydrated so you can build and tone your muscles.
2. Feeling Sexy
2-1. Practice mindfulness.
To be sexy, you'll need to feel confident and relaxed. Feeling stressed, absent, or down on yourself can ruin your sexiness. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention to your thoughts, senses, and feelings in the moment, without interpretation or judgement. To practice mindfulness, pay attention to your senses.
Ask yourself "what am I smelling, seeing, how am I moving, how does my body feel?"
Practice mindfulness by paying close attention when someone is talking to you. Try to take in every word they say.
Meditate on your breathing. Feel the breath coming in and out of you. Notice which parts of your body rise and fall. When your mind wanders, remind yourself to pay attention to your breath.
Study an everyday object. Spend some time each day looking at something you see all the time, such as your toothbrush. Try to notice new details.
Do a mindfulness exercise when you feel yourself becoming tense or negative. If an unwanted thought comes to you, gently acknowledge it. Then turn your attention to the things you are feeling and sensing.
2-2. Dress to impress yourself.
Good hygiene and good grooming will make you feel good and look good to others. Dress in clean clothes that you like. You don't have to spend a lot of time getting dressed: you can feel good in an outfit you wear all the time as long as you like the way you look in it. Shower after you have exercised or when you would like to feel fresh, and shampoo no more than three times a week.
You will feel sexier if you wear only clothing you really like. Go through your closet and get rid of anything you don't really wear, or wear only out of obligation.
Wear clothing that feels good on your skin. For a sensual presentation, wear silks and soft cottons. Clothing that fits to your body but does not uncomfortably squeeze it will make you feel and look sexy.
2-3. Take a dance class.
Not only can dance help you get fit, it can also boost your self-confidence and help prepare you for future dates. Find a type of dance that appeals to you, and you're all likely to find people who share your interests. If you're a lovable dork, sign up for a class of contra dancing. If you'd like to learn moves you can use when you're going out, take a hip-hop class. Look for listings at your local community center, or online.
2-4. Pay attention to your feelings.
One of the most attractive qualities of a potential partner is emotional stability, Do your moods go up and down? Do you lose your friends frequently? Practicing mindfulness can be helpful, but so can visiting a therapist or counselor.
To find the right kind of therapist, call a university psychology department and ask for recommendations, or ask your health care professional for advice.
2-5. Listen attentively to others.
If you want someone to find you sexy, listen to them when they talk. Heterosexual men, in particular, are aroused by the experience of being attentively heard. If you make a general practice of listening attentively and responding without judgement, you may be widely perceived as being sexy.
2-6. Get the sleep you need.
To feel sexy and stay fit, get a good night's sleep. Adults need 7-8 hours of sleep a night, with as few interruptions as possible. Sleep deprivation will interfere with your fitness, your immune resistance, your weight, and your mental health.
Warnings
Everyone's body has different needs. If you have a pre-existing health complication, talk with your doctor before you start a new exercise regime.[27]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source
Consult a doctor before attempting to lose weight. Do not attempt to lose more weight than your doctor advises.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Fit\\n1-1. Get regular aerobic exercise.\\nHealthy adults should get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity a week. Break your exercise up into shorter increments across the week. Aerobic exercise makes you altogether healthier. It helps you maintain a healthy weight, lowers your risk of heart disease, and lowers your risk of contracting viral illnesses.\\nAerobic exercise also makes you happier. Getting regular exercise can make you more energetic, confident, and relaxed.\\nA moderate aerobic activity is one you can talk through, such as a brisk walk, a slow bike ride, or ballroom dancing.\\nAn aerobic activity is considered vigorous if it takes up your breath and talking is difficult. This can include fast biking, running, or swimming laps.\\n1-2. Tone your muscles.\\nStrength training will increase your lean muscle mass. It also teaches your body to burn calories more efficiently. Most adults benefit from doing strength training exercise at least twice a week. Your strength training routine should work all your major muscle groups: don't just lift a dumbbell! You can strength train at home by doing crunches, lunges, and squats.\\nStrength training can be done with weight-machines at a gym. It can also be done with weights, plastic tubing, or with no props at all.\\nTake a class or watch an exercise video before embarking on a new form of exercise. If something hurts, stop.\\n1-3. Stretch after you exercise.\\nAerobic and strength training exercise cause your muscles to contract. Spend a few minutes stretching your major muscle groups afterward to boost circulation and maintain flexibility. Stretch slowly, without bouncing, and do not hold painful poses.\\nStretching before you exercise may decrease your performance, or even increase your risk of injury.\\n1-4. Find an exercise routine you can enjoy.\\nIf you have a routine you don't enjoy, it will be harder for you to keep it up. Try different ways of incorporating exercise into your life to see what excites you. If you like going to the gym, for example, it makes sense to get a gym membership. If you aren't sure, many gyms offer trial memberships.\\nAre you socially motivated? Drop in on some exercise classes at the community center, or go online and find a meet-up group. Ask a friend to take walks with you, or share your fitness goals online.\\nDo you prefer to sweat alone? Try biking or running in your neighborhood, or on a trail. You can do many solo exercises in the comfort of your own home, or even at your office.\\n1-5. Eat well and drink water.\\nTo be fit, healthy, and sexy, eat a variety of foods. Eating a wide range of foods will help you get the nutrients your body needs. Eat fruits and vegetables every day, and make sure you don't skip your carbohydrates or protein. You need carbohydrates to work out, and protein to help your muscles grow and repair. Drink water before and after you exercise, and whenever you're thirsty.\\nIf you know when you're going to exercise, you can hydrate the day ahead. Drink an extra few glasses of water the day before you engage in strenuous exercise. If your urine is clear, you're probably hydrated.\\nAvoid highly-processed food and drink, such as microwave meals and soda. Prepare your own food at home as often as you can: home cooking is almost always more nutritious than prepackaged or restaurant food.\\nIt's important that you stay hydrated so you can build and tone your muscles.\\n2. Feeling Sexy\\n2-1. Practice mindfulness.\\nTo be sexy, you'll need to feel confident and relaxed. Feeling stressed, absent, or down on yourself can ruin your sexiness. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention to your thoughts, senses, and feelings in the moment, without interpretation or judgement. To practice mindfulness, pay attention to your senses.\\nAsk yourself \\\"what am I smelling, seeing, how am I moving, how does my body feel?\\\"\\nPractice mindfulness by paying close attention when someone is talking to you. Try to take in every word they say. \\nMeditate on your breathing. Feel the breath coming in and out of you. Notice which parts of your body rise and fall. When your mind wanders, remind yourself to pay attention to your breath. \\nStudy an everyday object. Spend some time each day looking at something you see all the time, such as your toothbrush. Try to notice new details. \\nDo a mindfulness exercise when you feel yourself becoming tense or negative. If an unwanted thought comes to you, gently acknowledge it. Then turn your attention to the things you are feeling and sensing.\\n2-2. Dress to impress yourself.\\nGood hygiene and good grooming will make you feel good and look good to others. Dress in clean clothes that you like. You don't have to spend a lot of time getting dressed: you can feel good in an outfit you wear all the time as long as you like the way you look in it. Shower after you have exercised or when you would like to feel fresh, and shampoo no more than three times a week.\\nYou will feel sexier if you wear only clothing you really like. Go through your closet and get rid of anything you don't really wear, or wear only out of obligation.\\nWear clothing that feels good on your skin. For a sensual presentation, wear silks and soft cottons. Clothing that fits to your body but does not uncomfortably squeeze it will make you feel and look sexy.\\n2-3. Take a dance class.\\nNot only can dance help you get fit, it can also boost your self-confidence and help prepare you for future dates. Find a type of dance that appeals to you, and you're all likely to find people who share your interests. If you're a lovable dork, sign up for a class of contra dancing. If you'd like to learn moves you can use when you're going out, take a hip-hop class. Look for listings at your local community center, or online.\\n2-4. Pay attention to your feelings.\\nOne of the most attractive qualities of a potential partner is emotional stability, Do your moods go up and down? Do you lose your friends frequently? Practicing mindfulness can be helpful, but so can visiting a therapist or counselor.\\nTo find the right kind of therapist, call a university psychology department and ask for recommendations, or ask your health care professional for advice.\\n2-5. Listen attentively to others.\\nIf you want someone to find you sexy, listen to them when they talk. Heterosexual men, in particular, are aroused by the experience of being attentively heard. If you make a general practice of listening attentively and responding without judgement, you may be widely perceived as being sexy.\\n2-6. Get the sleep you need.\\nTo feel sexy and stay fit, get a good night's sleep. Adults need 7-8 hours of sleep a night, with as few interruptions as possible. Sleep deprivation will interfere with your fitness, your immune resistance, your weight, and your mental health.\\nWarnings\\nEveryone's body has different needs. If you have a pre-existing health complication, talk with your doctor before you start a new exercise regime.[27]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\nConsult a doctor before attempting to lose weight. Do not attempt to lose more weight than your doctor advises.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your emotional and physical wellbeing are impossible to separate. An active lifestyle has everything to do with how fit you are and how sexy you feel. Not only does exercise boost your energy, immunity, and mood, it can also improve your sex life. Exercising can lead to higher levels of arousal and a lower likelihood of erectile dysfunction. Exercise isn't all of it: eating well, sleeping well, and practicing mindfulness are all integral parts of a healthy lifestyle. Getting fit and sexy is all about being good about yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Fit\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get regular aerobic exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Healthy adults should get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity a week. Break your exercise up into shorter increments across the week. Aerobic exercise makes you altogether healthier. It helps you maintain a healthy weight, lowers your risk of heart disease, and lowers your risk of contracting viral illnesses.\\nAerobic exercise also makes you happier. Getting regular exercise can make you more energetic, confident, and relaxed.\\nA moderate aerobic activity is one you can talk through, such as a brisk walk, a slow bike ride, or ballroom dancing.\\nAn aerobic activity is considered vigorous if it takes up your breath and talking is difficult. This can include fast biking, running, or swimming laps.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tone your muscles.\", \"描述\": \"Strength training will increase your lean muscle mass. It also teaches your body to burn calories more efficiently. Most adults benefit from doing strength training exercise at least twice a week. Your strength training routine should work all your major muscle groups: don't just lift a dumbbell! You can strength train at home by doing crunches, lunges, and squats.\\nStrength training can be done with weight-machines at a gym. It can also be done with weights, plastic tubing, or with no props at all.\\nTake a class or watch an exercise video before embarking on a new form of exercise. If something hurts, stop.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stretch after you exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Aerobic and strength training exercise cause your muscles to contract. Spend a few minutes stretching your major muscle groups afterward to boost circulation and maintain flexibility. Stretch slowly, without bouncing, and do not hold painful poses.\\nStretching before you exercise may decrease your performance, or even increase your risk of injury.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find an exercise routine you can enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a routine you don't enjoy, it will be harder for you to keep it up. Try different ways of incorporating exercise into your life to see what excites you. If you like going to the gym, for example, it makes sense to get a gym membership. If you aren't sure, many gyms offer trial memberships.\\nAre you socially motivated? Drop in on some exercise classes at the community center, or go online and find a meet-up group. Ask a friend to take walks with you, or share your fitness goals online.\\nDo you prefer to sweat alone? Try biking or running in your neighborhood, or on a trail. You can do many solo exercises in the comfort of your own home, or even at your office.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eat well and drink water.\", \"描述\": \"To be fit, healthy, and sexy, eat a variety of foods. Eating a wide range of foods will help you get the nutrients your body needs. Eat fruits and vegetables every day, and make sure you don't skip your carbohydrates or protein. You need carbohydrates to work out, and protein to help your muscles grow and repair. Drink water before and after you exercise, and whenever you're thirsty.\\nIf you know when you're going to exercise, you can hydrate the day ahead. Drink an extra few glasses of water the day before you engage in strenuous exercise. If your urine is clear, you're probably hydrated.\\nAvoid highly-processed food and drink, such as microwave meals and soda. Prepare your own food at home as often as you can: home cooking is almost always more nutritious than prepackaged or restaurant food.\\nIt's important that you stay hydrated so you can build and tone your muscles.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Feeling Sexy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"To be sexy, you'll need to feel confident and relaxed. Feeling stressed, absent, or down on yourself can ruin your sexiness. Mindfulness is a practice of paying attention to your thoughts, senses, and feelings in the moment, without interpretation or judgement. To practice mindfulness, pay attention to your senses.\\nAsk yourself \\\"what am I smelling, seeing, how am I moving, how does my body feel?\\\"\\nPractice mindfulness by paying close attention when someone is talking to you. Try to take in every word they say. \\nMeditate on your breathing. Feel the breath coming in and out of you. Notice which parts of your body rise and fall. When your mind wanders, remind yourself to pay attention to your breath. \\nStudy an everyday object. Spend some time each day looking at something you see all the time, such as your toothbrush. Try to notice new details. \\nDo a mindfulness exercise when you feel yourself becoming tense or negative. If an unwanted thought comes to you, gently acknowledge it. Then turn your attention to the things you are feeling and sensing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Good hygiene and good grooming will make you feel good and look good to others. Dress in clean clothes that you like. You don't have to spend a lot of time getting dressed: you can feel good in an outfit you wear all the time as long as you like the way you look in it. Shower after you have exercised or when you would like to feel fresh, and shampoo no more than three times a week.\\nYou will feel sexier if you wear only clothing you really like. Go through your closet and get rid of anything you don't really wear, or wear only out of obligation.\\nWear clothing that feels good on your skin. For a sensual presentation, wear silks and soft cottons. Clothing that fits to your body but does not uncomfortably squeeze it will make you feel and look sexy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a dance class.\", \"描述\": \"Not only can dance help you get fit, it can also boost your self-confidence and help prepare you for future dates. Find a type of dance that appeals to you, and you're all likely to find people who share your interests. If you're a lovable dork, sign up for a class of contra dancing. If you'd like to learn moves you can use when you're going out, take a hip-hop class. Look for listings at your local community center, or online.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most attractive qualities of a potential partner is emotional stability, Do your moods go up and down? Do you lose your friends frequently? Practicing mindfulness can be helpful, but so can visiting a therapist or counselor.\\nTo find the right kind of therapist, call a university psychology department and ask for recommendations, or ask your health care professional for advice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen attentively to others.\", \"描述\": \"If you want someone to find you sexy, listen to them when they talk. Heterosexual men, in particular, are aroused by the experience of being attentively heard. If you make a general practice of listening attentively and responding without judgement, you may be widely perceived as being sexy.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get the sleep you need.\", \"描述\": \"To feel sexy and stay fit, get a good night's sleep. Adults need 7-8 hours of sleep a night, with as few interruptions as possible. Sleep deprivation will interfere with your fitness, your immune resistance, your weight, and your mental health.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Everyone's body has different needs. If you have a pre-existing health complication, talk with your doctor before you start a new exercise regime.[27]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Consult a doctor before attempting to lose weight. Do not attempt to lose more weight than your doctor advises.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,718 | How to Be Flirty With Your Boyfriend at School | 1. Flirting in Conversation
1-1. Compliment him
Complimenting your boyfriend is a simple and effective method of flirting. It’s sometimes fun to tease your boyfriend, but you should compliment him too. Your boyfriend will appreciate knowing what you like about him, and it will boost his confidence. Let him know that you think he looks nice, that you like his hair, or give him praise when he has done well on a test.
Make the compliments specific to him. Think about what he likes, and what he does well. Tell him he does a great job in gym class if he’s into sports. Let him know that you really liked his English essay if he enjoys writing.
Compliment him, but don’t overdo it. Too many compliments can seem insincere.
1-2. Pass him a note in the hall.
Most everyone has a phone nowadays, so passing a note can seem a little out-of-date. The fact that note passing isn’t as common is what makes it fun and flirty. It’s different from the usual, and it takes more thought and effort than sending a quick message through social media or text. Take a piece of paper from your notebook, write a message, fold it up, and hand it to him during an appropriate time.
Do not pass a note during class, or you might get in trouble. Wait to pass a note in the hall or during lunch.
The note can say anything you want. Short and sweet is flirtier than a sappy, long love letter, though. You can write “I’ve been thinking about you,” or “You look really awesome today.”
1-3. Ask questions
Most people like to talk about themselves and enjoy when someone shows interest in them. You might already know quite a bit about your boyfriend, but there is always more to learn. If he is talking, ask questions about what he is talking about. You can also ask questions about his past, his daily life, and his interests.
If he is talking about a game he played, ask him to tell you more about how the game is played.
Ask about what he likes to do after school, what he wants to do when he gets older, and what his favorite childhood memory is.
1-4. Show off your sense of humor.
A sense of humor is always attractive. It shows that you don’t take things too seriously, that you know how to laugh and make people laugh, and you have the ability to let things go. Don’t be afraid to tell jokes or laugh when you find something funny. You can also find the humor in whatever situation you find yourself in with your boyfriend.
Find the humor in common things. Joke about the weather, about class, or something that happened in school.
Think about your and your boyfriend’s sense of humor. What makes you laugh? What makes your boyfriend laugh? Those are the things you will want to joke and laugh about.
1-5. Send him a text.
Sending notes is fun, but sometimes it is easier to send a flirty text. You don’t have to wait for him to send you a message. You can message him first. Don’t send a simple “hi.” Instead, send him a sweet or funny opening text, like “I saw you falling asleep in class today.”
Use emoticons, especially the winks.
Send him a text that you were happy to see him in class, or that you are looking forward to seeing him.
Don’t text him back immediately when he responds. Wait at least a few minutes.
Avoid sending a text in class. Wait for an appropriate time.
1-6. Ask him out
Make plans to continue your flirting outside of school. It’s okay to ask him to hang out or go on a date after school. You can ask do to something specific, or leave it open-ended. Boyfriends will often appreciate when the other person takes initiative to ask them out.
You can leave it open-ended by asking “What are you doing after school or this weekend?”
Be specific by saying “I’ve been wanting to see this movie. Do you want to go with me?”
Ask your parents permission if you are not yet at an appropriate dating age.
2. Showing Physical Affection
2-1. Sit next to him.
Take it slow by sitting next to him whenever you see the opportunity. Sit next to him in class, at lunch, during break, or at a sport’s game. You can take this opportunity to put your head on his shoulder or hold onto his arm. He might be shy, so ask to sit next to him or do it without asking.
Don’t be too close to him if it’s inappropriate during class.
2-2. Hold his hand.
Holding hands is a sweet and simple gesture. You can brush your hand up against his to hint that you want to hold his hand, or you can simply reach out and hold his hand. Sit next to him while holding hands, or do it while walking down the hallway. The amount of time you hold hands can be as short as a few seconds, or as long as a few minutes.
Try to hold hands for a short amount of time during school hours.
2-3. Hug him
Most people appreciate a hug, especially your boyfriend. A hug is a quick way to show physical affection without overdoing it. Give him a quick hug in between class, or a longer hug when you are saying goodbye at the end of the school day. You can give a quick side hug with one arm, or a full on hug. It is better to keep it quick during the school day to avoid getting in trouble.
Spray some perfume on the back of your neck so that he will smell it when going in for a hug.
2-4. Give him a quick kiss.
Kissing during the school day can lead to trouble if it is overdone or too obvious. Instead, leave the kissing to the beginning or end of the school day and between classes when no one will be watching. Give him a quick kiss on the cheek, or a peck on the lips..
Avoid making out or prolonged kissing. This goes beyond flirting, and no one wants to see it in the hallway.
Don’t feel pressured to kiss if you have never done it before. Only kiss when you feel it is the right time for you and your boyfriend.
2-5. Make eye contact.
Eye contact can be a powerful part of a relationship. It takes confidence to make and maintain eye contact. Your boyfriend might shy away at first, but don’t be afraid to make eye contact. You can make eye contact from across the room, or while holding a conversation.
Lean into him when having a conversation and look into his eyes. This will show him that you are paying attention to him. Don’t make it uncomfortable by widening your eyes and hardly blinking. Be natural and respectful.
Make eye contact as you pass him in the hallway if you don’t have time to stop.
3. Doing Things for Each Other
3-1. Make him something.
You can make something for a holiday, special occasion, anniversary, or just because. You don’t have to bring him something expensive or extravagant, and it doesn’t have to be often. It can be a small and simple gesture that shows you like him. What you make him might be something sentimental, or something that you think he would be interested in. Give it to him whenever you see him during the day. If he offers you something he made, accept it and be sure to say a heartfelt thank you.
Make him a scrapbook of your relationship if you’ve been together for a while.
Paint a picture. It can be of something to do with his favorite sport team or movie.
3-2. Attend each other’s games or events.
Go to any events of his, and don’t be afraid to ask for him to attend your events. It is kind to support each other in whatever you and your boyfriend enjoys. If he plays a sport at school, attend his games and cheer him on. You can also show up to events if he’s a part of a team or club, like the debate or academic bowl team. Simply showing up will remind him how much you like him.
Say yes if he asks to attend any of your events. If you ask him to attend, and he says that he can’t, don’t be upset. Tell him that it’s okay, and he can attend another one.
If he’s not part of a team, you can cheer him on while he’s playing a sport during gym class.
Compliment and support his work if he’s into art, like film, drawing, or painting.
3-3. Bring him food and accept what he offers.
A well known cliché is that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Most boys will appreciate the thought if you bring him a dessert for his lunch, or bake him his favorite treat. Ask him what his favorite dessert his and make sure he is not allergic to what you bring him. Give it to him for a snack during the day, to eat with his lunch, or to take home.
Don’t be shy if he asks what your favorite dessert or food is. Tell him if he asks. A relationship works both ways. It is not only your job to make him food, or do favors for him. If he makes something you are allergic to, tell him that you appreciate the thought, but you can’t eat it. Offer for him to share it with his friends instead.
Baking cookies and brownies is simple and won’t be difficult to take with you to school. A cake is great, but it may be hard to transport.
Ask your parents for help if you aren’t sure how to bake or make food.
3-4. Help each other with something.
It is always nice to help a person, and you should help your boyfriend when he is in need. He should also be thoughtful enough to help you. It is especially thoughtful to help him with something when he’s not expecting it. What you decide to help him with depends on the situation and who he is. It may be as simple as giving him an extra pencil when he’s going to take a test.
Ask for help if you need it. Helping each other is a healthy part of any relationship.
If you see that he’s struggling to carry his books, offer to hold one or two for him.
Offer gently to help him with a project if he’s worried about completing it or doing it. Don’t help him cheat, but offering to take some stress off of him would be appreciated.
Help him study for a test, or quiz him before an exam.
Tips
Try to relax around him. If he is your boyfriend, then he likes you for who you are. Don’t change your personality to make him like you.
Wear an outfit that makes you feel confident. Chances are, he will love the outfit on you, and he will be drawn to your confidence.
Pop a breath mint into your mouth before coming close to him or kissing.
Warnings
Avoid pressuring your boyfriend into anything that he doesn’t want. Stop when he tells you to stop.
Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend shouldn’t pressure you into anything that makes you uncomfortable.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Flirting in Conversation\\n1-1. Compliment him\\nComplimenting your boyfriend is a simple and effective method of flirting. It’s sometimes fun to tease your boyfriend, but you should compliment him too. Your boyfriend will appreciate knowing what you like about him, and it will boost his confidence. Let him know that you think he looks nice, that you like his hair, or give him praise when he has done well on a test.\\nMake the compliments specific to him. Think about what he likes, and what he does well. Tell him he does a great job in gym class if he’s into sports. Let him know that you really liked his English essay if he enjoys writing.\\nCompliment him, but don’t overdo it. Too many compliments can seem insincere.\\n1-2. Pass him a note in the hall.\\nMost everyone has a phone nowadays, so passing a note can seem a little out-of-date. The fact that note passing isn’t as common is what makes it fun and flirty. It’s different from the usual, and it takes more thought and effort than sending a quick message through social media or text. Take a piece of paper from your notebook, write a message, fold it up, and hand it to him during an appropriate time.\\nDo not pass a note during class, or you might get in trouble. Wait to pass a note in the hall or during lunch.\\nThe note can say anything you want. Short and sweet is flirtier than a sappy, long love letter, though. You can write “I’ve been thinking about you,” or “You look really awesome today.”\\n1-3. Ask questions\\nMost people like to talk about themselves and enjoy when someone shows interest in them. You might already know quite a bit about your boyfriend, but there is always more to learn. If he is talking, ask questions about what he is talking about. You can also ask questions about his past, his daily life, and his interests.\\nIf he is talking about a game he played, ask him to tell you more about how the game is played.\\nAsk about what he likes to do after school, what he wants to do when he gets older, and what his favorite childhood memory is.\\n1-4. Show off your sense of humor.\\nA sense of humor is always attractive. It shows that you don’t take things too seriously, that you know how to laugh and make people laugh, and you have the ability to let things go. Don’t be afraid to tell jokes or laugh when you find something funny. You can also find the humor in whatever situation you find yourself in with your boyfriend.\\nFind the humor in common things. Joke about the weather, about class, or something that happened in school.\\nThink about your and your boyfriend’s sense of humor. What makes you laugh? What makes your boyfriend laugh? Those are the things you will want to joke and laugh about.\\n1-5. Send him a text.\\nSending notes is fun, but sometimes it is easier to send a flirty text. You don’t have to wait for him to send you a message. You can message him first. Don’t send a simple “hi.” Instead, send him a sweet or funny opening text, like “I saw you falling asleep in class today.”\\nUse emoticons, especially the winks.\\nSend him a text that you were happy to see him in class, or that you are looking forward to seeing him.\\nDon’t text him back immediately when he responds. Wait at least a few minutes.\\nAvoid sending a text in class. Wait for an appropriate time.\\n1-6. Ask him out\\nMake plans to continue your flirting outside of school. It’s okay to ask him to hang out or go on a date after school. You can ask do to something specific, or leave it open-ended. Boyfriends will often appreciate when the other person takes initiative to ask them out.\\nYou can leave it open-ended by asking “What are you doing after school or this weekend?”\\nBe specific by saying “I’ve been wanting to see this movie. Do you want to go with me?”\\nAsk your parents permission if you are not yet at an appropriate dating age.\\n2. Showing Physical Affection\\n2-1. Sit next to him.\\nTake it slow by sitting next to him whenever you see the opportunity. Sit next to him in class, at lunch, during break, or at a sport’s game. You can take this opportunity to put your head on his shoulder or hold onto his arm. He might be shy, so ask to sit next to him or do it without asking.\\nDon’t be too close to him if it’s inappropriate during class.\\n2-2. Hold his hand.\\nHolding hands is a sweet and simple gesture. You can brush your hand up against his to hint that you want to hold his hand, or you can simply reach out and hold his hand. Sit next to him while holding hands, or do it while walking down the hallway. The amount of time you hold hands can be as short as a few seconds, or as long as a few minutes.\\nTry to hold hands for a short amount of time during school hours.\\n2-3. Hug him\\nMost people appreciate a hug, especially your boyfriend. A hug is a quick way to show physical affection without overdoing it. Give him a quick hug in between class, or a longer hug when you are saying goodbye at the end of the school day. You can give a quick side hug with one arm, or a full on hug. It is better to keep it quick during the school day to avoid getting in trouble.\\nSpray some perfume on the back of your neck so that he will smell it when going in for a hug.\\n2-4. Give him a quick kiss.\\nKissing during the school day can lead to trouble if it is overdone or too obvious. Instead, leave the kissing to the beginning or end of the school day and between classes when no one will be watching. Give him a quick kiss on the cheek, or a peck on the lips..\\nAvoid making out or prolonged kissing. This goes beyond flirting, and no one wants to see it in the hallway.\\nDon’t feel pressured to kiss if you have never done it before. Only kiss when you feel it is the right time for you and your boyfriend.\\n2-5. Make eye contact.\\nEye contact can be a powerful part of a relationship. It takes confidence to make and maintain eye contact. Your boyfriend might shy away at first, but don’t be afraid to make eye contact. You can make eye contact from across the room, or while holding a conversation.\\nLean into him when having a conversation and look into his eyes. This will show him that you are paying attention to him. Don’t make it uncomfortable by widening your eyes and hardly blinking. Be natural and respectful.\\nMake eye contact as you pass him in the hallway if you don’t have time to stop.\\n3. Doing Things for Each Other\\n3-1. Make him something.\\nYou can make something for a holiday, special occasion, anniversary, or just because. You don’t have to bring him something expensive or extravagant, and it doesn’t have to be often. It can be a small and simple gesture that shows you like him. What you make him might be something sentimental, or something that you think he would be interested in. Give it to him whenever you see him during the day. If he offers you something he made, accept it and be sure to say a heartfelt thank you.\\nMake him a scrapbook of your relationship if you’ve been together for a while.\\nPaint a picture. It can be of something to do with his favorite sport team or movie.\\n3-2. Attend each other’s games or events.\\nGo to any events of his, and don’t be afraid to ask for him to attend your events. It is kind to support each other in whatever you and your boyfriend enjoys. If he plays a sport at school, attend his games and cheer him on. You can also show up to events if he’s a part of a team or club, like the debate or academic bowl team. Simply showing up will remind him how much you like him.\\nSay yes if he asks to attend any of your events. If you ask him to attend, and he says that he can’t, don’t be upset. Tell him that it’s okay, and he can attend another one.\\nIf he’s not part of a team, you can cheer him on while he’s playing a sport during gym class.\\nCompliment and support his work if he’s into art, like film, drawing, or painting.\\n3-3. Bring him food and accept what he offers.\\nA well known cliché is that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Most boys will appreciate the thought if you bring him a dessert for his lunch, or bake him his favorite treat. Ask him what his favorite dessert his and make sure he is not allergic to what you bring him. Give it to him for a snack during the day, to eat with his lunch, or to take home.\\nDon’t be shy if he asks what your favorite dessert or food is. Tell him if he asks. A relationship works both ways. It is not only your job to make him food, or do favors for him. If he makes something you are allergic to, tell him that you appreciate the thought, but you can’t eat it. Offer for him to share it with his friends instead.\\nBaking cookies and brownies is simple and won’t be difficult to take with you to school. A cake is great, but it may be hard to transport.\\nAsk your parents for help if you aren’t sure how to bake or make food.\\n3-4. Help each other with something.\\nIt is always nice to help a person, and you should help your boyfriend when he is in need. He should also be thoughtful enough to help you. It is especially thoughtful to help him with something when he’s not expecting it. What you decide to help him with depends on the situation and who he is. It may be as simple as giving him an extra pencil when he’s going to take a test.\\nAsk for help if you need it. Helping each other is a healthy part of any relationship.\\nIf you see that he’s struggling to carry his books, offer to hold one or two for him.\\nOffer gently to help him with a project if he’s worried about completing it or doing it. Don’t help him cheat, but offering to take some stress off of him would be appreciated.\\nHelp him study for a test, or quiz him before an exam.\\nTips\\nTry to relax around him. If he is your boyfriend, then he likes you for who you are. Don’t change your personality to make him like you.\\nWear an outfit that makes you feel confident. Chances are, he will love the outfit on you, and he will be drawn to your confidence.\\nPop a breath mint into your mouth before coming close to him or kissing.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid pressuring your boyfriend into anything that he doesn’t want. Stop when he tells you to stop.\\nDon’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend shouldn’t pressure you into anything that makes you uncomfortable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having a boyfriend that attends the same school is fun, but sometimes it can be difficult to figure out how to flirt during school hours. You shouldn’t act inappropriately by showing too much physical affection. Yet, you don’t want to show too little interest. Flirting during school requires a balance of subtlety and obviousness, as well as effort. To flirt with your boyfriend in school, you should initiate conversation, show affection, and do things for each other.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flirting in Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment him\", \"描述\": \"Complimenting your boyfriend is a simple and effective method of flirting. It’s sometimes fun to tease your boyfriend, but you should compliment him too. Your boyfriend will appreciate knowing what you like about him, and it will boost his confidence. Let him know that you think he looks nice, that you like his hair, or give him praise when he has done well on a test.\\nMake the compliments specific to him. Think about what he likes, and what he does well. Tell him he does a great job in gym class if he’s into sports. Let him know that you really liked his English essay if he enjoys writing.\\nCompliment him, but don’t overdo it. Too many compliments can seem insincere.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pass him a note in the hall.\", \"描述\": \"Most everyone has a phone nowadays, so passing a note can seem a little out-of-date. The fact that note passing isn’t as common is what makes it fun and flirty. It’s different from the usual, and it takes more thought and effort than sending a quick message through social media or text. Take a piece of paper from your notebook, write a message, fold it up, and hand it to him during an appropriate time.\\nDo not pass a note during class, or you might get in trouble. Wait to pass a note in the hall or during lunch.\\nThe note can say anything you want. Short and sweet is flirtier than a sappy, long love letter, though. You can write “I’ve been thinking about you,” or “You look really awesome today.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions\", \"描述\": \"Most people like to talk about themselves and enjoy when someone shows interest in them. You might already know quite a bit about your boyfriend, but there is always more to learn. If he is talking, ask questions about what he is talking about. You can also ask questions about his past, his daily life, and his interests.\\nIf he is talking about a game he played, ask him to tell you more about how the game is played.\\nAsk about what he likes to do after school, what he wants to do when he gets older, and what his favorite childhood memory is.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show off your sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"A sense of humor is always attractive. It shows that you don’t take things too seriously, that you know how to laugh and make people laugh, and you have the ability to let things go. Don’t be afraid to tell jokes or laugh when you find something funny. You can also find the humor in whatever situation you find yourself in with your boyfriend.\\nFind the humor in common things. Joke about the weather, about class, or something that happened in school.\\nThink about your and your boyfriend’s sense of humor. What makes you laugh? What makes your boyfriend laugh? Those are the things you will want to joke and laugh about.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send him a text.\", \"描述\": \"Sending notes is fun, but sometimes it is easier to send a flirty text. You don’t have to wait for him to send you a message. You can message him first. Don’t send a simple “hi.” Instead, send him a sweet or funny opening text, like “I saw you falling asleep in class today.”\\nUse emoticons, especially the winks.\\nSend him a text that you were happy to see him in class, or that you are looking forward to seeing him.\\nDon’t text him back immediately when he responds. Wait at least a few minutes.\\nAvoid sending a text in class. Wait for an appropriate time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask him out\", \"描述\": \"Make plans to continue your flirting outside of school. It’s okay to ask him to hang out or go on a date after school. You can ask do to something specific, or leave it open-ended. Boyfriends will often appreciate when the other person takes initiative to ask them out.\\nYou can leave it open-ended by asking “What are you doing after school or this weekend?”\\nBe specific by saying “I’ve been wanting to see this movie. Do you want to go with me?”\\nAsk your parents permission if you are not yet at an appropriate dating age.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Physical Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sit next to him.\", \"描述\": \"Take it slow by sitting next to him whenever you see the opportunity. Sit next to him in class, at lunch, during break, or at a sport’s game. You can take this opportunity to put your head on his shoulder or hold onto his arm. He might be shy, so ask to sit next to him or do it without asking.\\nDon’t be too close to him if it’s inappropriate during class.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hold his hand.\", \"描述\": \"Holding hands is a sweet and simple gesture. You can brush your hand up against his to hint that you want to hold his hand, or you can simply reach out and hold his hand. Sit next to him while holding hands, or do it while walking down the hallway. The amount of time you hold hands can be as short as a few seconds, or as long as a few minutes.\\nTry to hold hands for a short amount of time during school hours.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hug him\", \"描述\": \"Most people appreciate a hug, especially your boyfriend. A hug is a quick way to show physical affection without overdoing it. Give him a quick hug in between class, or a longer hug when you are saying goodbye at the end of the school day. You can give a quick side hug with one arm, or a full on hug. It is better to keep it quick during the school day to avoid getting in trouble.\\nSpray some perfume on the back of your neck so that he will smell it when going in for a hug.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give him a quick kiss.\", \"描述\": \"Kissing during the school day can lead to trouble if it is overdone or too obvious. Instead, leave the kissing to the beginning or end of the school day and between classes when no one will be watching. Give him a quick kiss on the cheek, or a peck on the lips..\\nAvoid making out or prolonged kissing. This goes beyond flirting, and no one wants to see it in the hallway.\\nDon’t feel pressured to kiss if you have never done it before. Only kiss when you feel it is the right time for you and your boyfriend.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact can be a powerful part of a relationship. It takes confidence to make and maintain eye contact. Your boyfriend might shy away at first, but don’t be afraid to make eye contact. You can make eye contact from across the room, or while holding a conversation.\\nLean into him when having a conversation and look into his eyes. This will show him that you are paying attention to him. Don’t make it uncomfortable by widening your eyes and hardly blinking. Be natural and respectful.\\nMake eye contact as you pass him in the hallway if you don’t have time to stop.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Doing Things for Each Other\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make him something.\", \"描述\": \"You can make something for a holiday, special occasion, anniversary, or just because. You don’t have to bring him something expensive or extravagant, and it doesn’t have to be often. It can be a small and simple gesture that shows you like him. What you make him might be something sentimental, or something that you think he would be interested in. Give it to him whenever you see him during the day. If he offers you something he made, accept it and be sure to say a heartfelt thank you.\\nMake him a scrapbook of your relationship if you’ve been together for a while.\\nPaint a picture. It can be of something to do with his favorite sport team or movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attend each other’s games or events.\", \"描述\": \"Go to any events of his, and don’t be afraid to ask for him to attend your events. It is kind to support each other in whatever you and your boyfriend enjoys. If he plays a sport at school, attend his games and cheer him on. You can also show up to events if he’s a part of a team or club, like the debate or academic bowl team. Simply showing up will remind him how much you like him.\\nSay yes if he asks to attend any of your events. If you ask him to attend, and he says that he can’t, don’t be upset. Tell him that it’s okay, and he can attend another one.\\nIf he’s not part of a team, you can cheer him on while he’s playing a sport during gym class.\\nCompliment and support his work if he’s into art, like film, drawing, or painting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring him food and accept what he offers.\", \"描述\": \"A well known cliché is that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Most boys will appreciate the thought if you bring him a dessert for his lunch, or bake him his favorite treat. Ask him what his favorite dessert his and make sure he is not allergic to what you bring him. Give it to him for a snack during the day, to eat with his lunch, or to take home.\\nDon’t be shy if he asks what your favorite dessert or food is. Tell him if he asks. A relationship works both ways. It is not only your job to make him food, or do favors for him. If he makes something you are allergic to, tell him that you appreciate the thought, but you can’t eat it. Offer for him to share it with his friends instead.\\nBaking cookies and brownies is simple and won’t be difficult to take with you to school. A cake is great, but it may be hard to transport.\\nAsk your parents for help if you aren’t sure how to bake or make food.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help each other with something.\", \"描述\": \"It is always nice to help a person, and you should help your boyfriend when he is in need. He should also be thoughtful enough to help you. It is especially thoughtful to help him with something when he’s not expecting it. What you decide to help him with depends on the situation and who he is. It may be as simple as giving him an extra pencil when he’s going to take a test.\\nAsk for help if you need it. Helping each other is a healthy part of any relationship.\\nIf you see that he’s struggling to carry his books, offer to hold one or two for him.\\nOffer gently to help him with a project if he’s worried about completing it or doing it. Don’t help him cheat, but offering to take some stress off of him would be appreciated.\\nHelp him study for a test, or quiz him before an exam.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to relax around him. If he is your boyfriend, then he likes you for who you are. Don’t change your personality to make him like you.\\n\", \"Wear an outfit that makes you feel confident. Chances are, he will love the outfit on you, and he will be drawn to your confidence.\\n\", \"Pop a breath mint into your mouth before coming close to him or kissing.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid pressuring your boyfriend into anything that he doesn’t want. Stop when he tells you to stop.\\n\", \"Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend shouldn’t pressure you into anything that makes you uncomfortable.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,719 | How to Be Free | 1. Becoming Your True Self
1-1. Decide what total freedom means for you.
Can you be free if you live at home with your parents? Can you be free if you're incarcerated in a jail, or live under a totalitarian regime? Can you be free if you work 9-5? It all depends on you. Only you can actively improve yourself and your station in life, moving toward the freest possible version of you.
For lots of people, moving to college seems like total freedom: no parents, unlimited Xbox, and co-ed bathrooms! But college is still a campus-shaped bubble where meals arrive with the swipe of a card that someone else probably paid for, where you've got to live by the rules of the syllabus if you want to pass.
1-2. Identify what you want from life.
Think forward to the end of your life. When you're looking back over it, what do you hope to see? A life of pleasure? Of accomplishment? Of family and success? Of endless parties? Do you want to be respected and feared, or do you want to live a quiet life of solitude and contemplation? Try to identify what will make you happy, in and of itself, and what kind of a life makes room for that happiness.
Many people instinctively think large sums of money lead to limitless freedom and happiness. While that may be true, try to think instead about what it is you'd do with an unlimited supply of money. What would it make easier, specifically? What would you do if money were no object? How would you spend your time? There's your answer.
If you struggle to decide, instead of focusing on an ideal day--which, let's face it, we'd probably all spend at the beach--Try to think of your ideal week. After a whole week on the beach, we'd all probably end up sunburned and bored. What kind of work would you do? When would you do it? Where?
1-3. Identify what is keeping you from getting what you want.
Are you living your ideal life right now? If not, what stands in your way? What would need to change to get what you want? If you are living your ideal life, what would be necessary to sustain your lifestyle? Why aren't you doing what you want right now, today, this moment, this second? What's stopping you?
Again, it's easy to blame money for our problems: "If only I had the money, I could get that new guitar and my band would be great," we say, making excuses for why we're not signed to a lucrative record deal, forgetting that a new guitar has nothing to do with your ability to write a catchy melody, play well, and work hard on stage.
If only you had the money, it's true, you could travel to Thailand, or write novels all day, or spend all your time gardening heirloom hot peppers. But it's probably not money that's really keeping you from doing those things--it's you giving up on the hand you've been dealt, and folding the cards.
1-4. Identify the steps necessary in achieving what you want.
It's hard to find total freedom and happiness overnight. It'll likely take some effort to get what you want and find your ideal environment in which to live your life. What efforts on your part will be necessary to getting what you want?
Say you decided your ideal life involves having a small and loving family, who leads a quiet life in the country growing vegetables. If that would give you the type of freedom you desire, what can you do now that will actively move you toward that reality?
In the long term, you might start studying permaculture, or wildlife management, or some other field that would involve work in the natural world. Where might you like to own a home? Would you build your own house or buy one? What do you need to save to make it a reality?
In the short-term, you might check out rural co-ops or communes you could visit and exchange work for room and board. Or check out World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF), a program that lets you volunteer on organic farms around the world, getting experience.
1-5. Surround yourself with people you admire.
Role models are essential in finding your true self. As much as we like to think of ourselves as perfectly individual snowflakes, it's important to surround yourself with people who live as you would like to live, not to mimic their behavior, but to learn from it and apply their lessons in your own life.
Be careful of constantly comparing yourself to other people if it makes you get down on yourself. Remember, you never know what hardships others really face, only the outside view. Competition can be good for some people and terrible for others. Know yourself and focus on your own life. Worry about your own backyard.
2. Being Responsible for Yourself
2-1. Do it yourself.
If you can do something, do it. If you don't need help, don't ask for it. Taking more responsibility for your life and becoming accountable for yourself is the right and responsibility of a life lived freely. Volunteer for things that fall in your wheelhouse, and take on projects that might challenge your abilities, so you can improve yourself and your work.
Try to actively expand the list of things you can do by yourself. While it's true you can take your car into the shop every time a light goes out, you'll save money and become more self-reliant if you learn to perform a basic tune-up.
Alternatively, it's also good to accept help and learn to recognize when you need it. Being self-reliant doesn't mean being foolish and ignorant of your abilities. If you don't know how to change your car tire, learn how, so you can become more free and less reliant on others in the future. But in the moment, be honest with yourself.
2-2. Prioritize your wants and needs.
Identify the things you want and the things that you need to live your ideal life to help create perspective. "Needs" include anything necessary to sustain a comfortable life. This includes food, shelter, and basic health care. "Wants" might include travel funds, books and movies, or whatever it is that would improve your quality of life.
Ideally, if you think about these things as a Venn diagram, they should look as close as possible like a single circle, overlapping almost entirely if you've structured your life in an ideal way. If what you need and what you want line-up, you'll be living the happy and free life you want to lead. What might you change to realign the diagram?
Try to create a budget to account for all your needs and as much want as possible to live sustainably. The less you have to worry about money--the less you have to think about it at all--the better off and the more free you'll be.
2-3. Pay off all your debts and live within your means
Student loans and credit card debt will keep you under a heavy curtain of debt that makes it very difficult to live by your own hand. If you're beholden to debtors, can you be truly free? It's a challenge that's unavoidable for some, but you can help yourself move toward freedom by paying down your debts as best you can and as quickly as you can, and by avoiding accruing new debt.
2-4. Be the boss of your life.
Find work that you love and the work that will allow you to live freely and do what you want. Even if you have to report to a real "boss," you're beholden to no one as long as you say so. You're in charge of your own life. If you work in an environment that doesn't afford you enough freedom, find a new job.
How you choose to define work might be complicated. Plenty of people "work" during the day doing something that may or may not define their calling in life. Walt Whitman was an ambulance driver, but he also wrote some of the greatest American poems ever written.
If your ideal life involves working only 15 or 20 hours a week, it might be difficult to sustain that life in Manhattan or Los Angeles. Prioritize the various aspects of your ideal life. If the desire to live in a cultural hub outweighs your desire to work less, get multiple jobs, 8 roommates, and move to the Big Apple. If your time is more precious to you, find somewhere the cost of living is cheap and you'll have your time.
2-5. Write your own code and live by it.
What are the criteria of a life lived well? What is necessary to move through the world with dignity and poise? One person's rules may not be applicable for everyone, but it's helpful to have them for yourself. If you want to be free and call the shots, write your own code like the Klingon or the Samurai, and live by it.
Lastly remember that in order to achieve your biggest dreams you need to have faith in yourself.Always believe you can do it, cause at the end of the day the person who says they can't and the person who says they can will probably both be right.You are what you believe.
3. Seizing Each Day
3-1. Allow yourself to act impulsively, sometimes.
Fried squid and bloody Marys for breakfast on a Wednesday--why not? Weekdays don't have to be plain oatmeal and black coffee. If it sounds good to you and there's no harm in doing it, do it. Breaking up monotony and listening to your own impulses can be a great way of keeping life fresh and exciting. As long as it's legal and not counterproductive to some necessary part of your life, act impulsively. Live in the moment.
Sometimes, allowing yourself to break small rules of protocol or tact can be a good way of asserting your freedom in the world. Play what you want on the jukebox, even if the other bar patrons don't want all 11 minutes of "Heard it Through the Grapevine."
3-2. Visit new places.
Expanding your perspective of the world and learning to embrace freedom requires that you occasionally get outside your comfort zone and experience new things. Visit new places, try new activities, eat new foods. Explore the world and enjoy it.
Traveling can be big or small. You don't have to hitchhike to South America to travel and experience something new. Visit new parts of town you've never visited, or explore the small town next to yours. Go somewhere you don't know anyone and learn everything you can. If it's new to you, Brooklyn might as well be Crawfordsville.
3-3. Celebrate every accomplishment, no matter how small.
Allow yourself to be proud of yourself. Allow yourself to celebrate successes, or even to celebrate a lack of failures. Each day you've successfully negotiated is cause for reasonable celebrations. Spend time with people you enjoy and give yourself good reasons to work hard.
3-4. Start living freely right now.
The older you get and the more of the world you experience, the more one thing becomes clear: the only circumstance that's keeping you from happiness and freedom is yourself. Let go of your preconceptions, your hang-ups, and your fears. Free your mind by letting yourself experience the world fully and make each day count. Live the life you want to lead. There's no reason not to.
Be careful of becoming a slave to your ideal version of yourself. It's easy to say, "Everything will be better after I graduate" or "Everything will be better after I get this project done" or "Everything will be better when I move to Portland." Will it? How can you be free in spite of your challenges? How can you be free right now, where you live, right this second? How can you change your environment for the better?
Tips
It's not always a good idea to want to be totally free as this assumes total control to do as one pleases, as to trample over the feeling of others.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Becoming Your True Self\\n1-1. Decide what total freedom means for you.\\nCan you be free if you live at home with your parents? Can you be free if you're incarcerated in a jail, or live under a totalitarian regime? Can you be free if you work 9-5? It all depends on you. Only you can actively improve yourself and your station in life, moving toward the freest possible version of you.\\nFor lots of people, moving to college seems like total freedom: no parents, unlimited Xbox, and co-ed bathrooms! But college is still a campus-shaped bubble where meals arrive with the swipe of a card that someone else probably paid for, where you've got to live by the rules of the syllabus if you want to pass.\\n1-2. Identify what you want from life.\\nThink forward to the end of your life. When you're looking back over it, what do you hope to see? A life of pleasure? Of accomplishment? Of family and success? Of endless parties? Do you want to be respected and feared, or do you want to live a quiet life of solitude and contemplation? Try to identify what will make you happy, in and of itself, and what kind of a life makes room for that happiness.\\nMany people instinctively think large sums of money lead to limitless freedom and happiness. While that may be true, try to think instead about what it is you'd do with an unlimited supply of money. What would it make easier, specifically? What would you do if money were no object? How would you spend your time? There's your answer.\\nIf you struggle to decide, instead of focusing on an ideal day--which, let's face it, we'd probably all spend at the beach--Try to think of your ideal week. After a whole week on the beach, we'd all probably end up sunburned and bored. What kind of work would you do? When would you do it? Where?\\n1-3. Identify what is keeping you from getting what you want.\\nAre you living your ideal life right now? If not, what stands in your way? What would need to change to get what you want? If you are living your ideal life, what would be necessary to sustain your lifestyle? Why aren't you doing what you want right now, today, this moment, this second? What's stopping you?\\nAgain, it's easy to blame money for our problems: \\\"If only I had the money, I could get that new guitar and my band would be great,\\\" we say, making excuses for why we're not signed to a lucrative record deal, forgetting that a new guitar has nothing to do with your ability to write a catchy melody, play well, and work hard on stage.\\nIf only you had the money, it's true, you could travel to Thailand, or write novels all day, or spend all your time gardening heirloom hot peppers. But it's probably not money that's really keeping you from doing those things--it's you giving up on the hand you've been dealt, and folding the cards.\\n1-4. Identify the steps necessary in achieving what you want.\\nIt's hard to find total freedom and happiness overnight. It'll likely take some effort to get what you want and find your ideal environment in which to live your life. What efforts on your part will be necessary to getting what you want?\\nSay you decided your ideal life involves having a small and loving family, who leads a quiet life in the country growing vegetables. If that would give you the type of freedom you desire, what can you do now that will actively move you toward that reality?\\nIn the long term, you might start studying permaculture, or wildlife management, or some other field that would involve work in the natural world. Where might you like to own a home? Would you build your own house or buy one? What do you need to save to make it a reality?\\nIn the short-term, you might check out rural co-ops or communes you could visit and exchange work for room and board. Or check out World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF), a program that lets you volunteer on organic farms around the world, getting experience.\\n1-5. Surround yourself with people you admire.\\nRole models are essential in finding your true self. As much as we like to think of ourselves as perfectly individual snowflakes, it's important to surround yourself with people who live as you would like to live, not to mimic their behavior, but to learn from it and apply their lessons in your own life.\\nBe careful of constantly comparing yourself to other people if it makes you get down on yourself. Remember, you never know what hardships others really face, only the outside view. Competition can be good for some people and terrible for others. Know yourself and focus on your own life. Worry about your own backyard.\\n2. Being Responsible for Yourself\\n2-1. Do it yourself.\\nIf you can do something, do it. If you don't need help, don't ask for it. Taking more responsibility for your life and becoming accountable for yourself is the right and responsibility of a life lived freely. Volunteer for things that fall in your wheelhouse, and take on projects that might challenge your abilities, so you can improve yourself and your work.\\nTry to actively expand the list of things you can do by yourself. While it's true you can take your car into the shop every time a light goes out, you'll save money and become more self-reliant if you learn to perform a basic tune-up.\\nAlternatively, it's also good to accept help and learn to recognize when you need it. Being self-reliant doesn't mean being foolish and ignorant of your abilities. If you don't know how to change your car tire, learn how, so you can become more free and less reliant on others in the future. But in the moment, be honest with yourself.\\n2-2. Prioritize your wants and needs.\\nIdentify the things you want and the things that you need to live your ideal life to help create perspective. \\\"Needs\\\" include anything necessary to sustain a comfortable life. This includes food, shelter, and basic health care. \\\"Wants\\\" might include travel funds, books and movies, or whatever it is that would improve your quality of life.\\nIdeally, if you think about these things as a Venn diagram, they should look as close as possible like a single circle, overlapping almost entirely if you've structured your life in an ideal way. If what you need and what you want line-up, you'll be living the happy and free life you want to lead. What might you change to realign the diagram?\\nTry to create a budget to account for all your needs and as much want as possible to live sustainably. The less you have to worry about money--the less you have to think about it at all--the better off and the more free you'll be.\\n2-3. Pay off all your debts and live within your means\\nStudent loans and credit card debt will keep you under a heavy curtain of debt that makes it very difficult to live by your own hand. If you're beholden to debtors, can you be truly free? It's a challenge that's unavoidable for some, but you can help yourself move toward freedom by paying down your debts as best you can and as quickly as you can, and by avoiding accruing new debt.\\n2-4. Be the boss of your life.\\nFind work that you love and the work that will allow you to live freely and do what you want. Even if you have to report to a real \\\"boss,\\\" you're beholden to no one as long as you say so. You're in charge of your own life. If you work in an environment that doesn't afford you enough freedom, find a new job.\\nHow you choose to define work might be complicated. Plenty of people \\\"work\\\" during the day doing something that may or may not define their calling in life. Walt Whitman was an ambulance driver, but he also wrote some of the greatest American poems ever written.\\nIf your ideal life involves working only 15 or 20 hours a week, it might be difficult to sustain that life in Manhattan or Los Angeles. Prioritize the various aspects of your ideal life. If the desire to live in a cultural hub outweighs your desire to work less, get multiple jobs, 8 roommates, and move to the Big Apple. If your time is more precious to you, find somewhere the cost of living is cheap and you'll have your time.\\n2-5. Write your own code and live by it.\\nWhat are the criteria of a life lived well? What is necessary to move through the world with dignity and poise? One person's rules may not be applicable for everyone, but it's helpful to have them for yourself. If you want to be free and call the shots, write your own code like the Klingon or the Samurai, and live by it.\\nLastly remember that in order to achieve your biggest dreams you need to have faith in yourself.Always believe you can do it, cause at the end of the day the person who says they can't and the person who says they can will probably both be right.You are what you believe.\\n3. Seizing Each Day\\n3-1. Allow yourself to act impulsively, sometimes.\\nFried squid and bloody Marys for breakfast on a Wednesday--why not? Weekdays don't have to be plain oatmeal and black coffee. If it sounds good to you and there's no harm in doing it, do it. Breaking up monotony and listening to your own impulses can be a great way of keeping life fresh and exciting. As long as it's legal and not counterproductive to some necessary part of your life, act impulsively. Live in the moment.\\nSometimes, allowing yourself to break small rules of protocol or tact can be a good way of asserting your freedom in the world. Play what you want on the jukebox, even if the other bar patrons don't want all 11 minutes of \\\"Heard it Through the Grapevine.\\\"\\n3-2. Visit new places.\\nExpanding your perspective of the world and learning to embrace freedom requires that you occasionally get outside your comfort zone and experience new things. Visit new places, try new activities, eat new foods. Explore the world and enjoy it.\\nTraveling can be big or small. You don't have to hitchhike to South America to travel and experience something new. Visit new parts of town you've never visited, or explore the small town next to yours. Go somewhere you don't know anyone and learn everything you can. If it's new to you, Brooklyn might as well be Crawfordsville.\\n3-3. Celebrate every accomplishment, no matter how small.\\nAllow yourself to be proud of yourself. Allow yourself to celebrate successes, or even to celebrate a lack of failures. Each day you've successfully negotiated is cause for reasonable celebrations. Spend time with people you enjoy and give yourself good reasons to work hard.\\n3-4. Start living freely right now.\\nThe older you get and the more of the world you experience, the more one thing becomes clear: the only circumstance that's keeping you from happiness and freedom is yourself. Let go of your preconceptions, your hang-ups, and your fears. Free your mind by letting yourself experience the world fully and make each day count. Live the life you want to lead. There's no reason not to.\\nBe careful of becoming a slave to your ideal version of yourself. It's easy to say, \\\"Everything will be better after I graduate\\\" or \\\"Everything will be better after I get this project done\\\" or \\\"Everything will be better when I move to Portland.\\\" Will it? How can you be free in spite of your challenges? How can you be free right now, where you live, right this second? How can you change your environment for the better?\\nTips\\nIt's not always a good idea to want to be totally free as this assumes total control to do as one pleases, as to trample over the feeling of others.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to be free and become the truest, most authentic version of yourself? If so, there are steps you can take starting today that will help you live the life you want, the way you want to live it. Keep reading for expert-backed tips to ditching the things that are holding you back and finally living a free, fulfilling life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming Your True Self\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide what total freedom means for you.\", \"描述\": \"Can you be free if you live at home with your parents? Can you be free if you're incarcerated in a jail, or live under a totalitarian regime? Can you be free if you work 9-5? It all depends on you. Only you can actively improve yourself and your station in life, moving toward the freest possible version of you.\\nFor lots of people, moving to college seems like total freedom: no parents, unlimited Xbox, and co-ed bathrooms! But college is still a campus-shaped bubble where meals arrive with the swipe of a card that someone else probably paid for, where you've got to live by the rules of the syllabus if you want to pass.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify what you want from life.\", \"描述\": \"Think forward to the end of your life. When you're looking back over it, what do you hope to see? A life of pleasure? Of accomplishment? Of family and success? Of endless parties? Do you want to be respected and feared, or do you want to live a quiet life of solitude and contemplation? Try to identify what will make you happy, in and of itself, and what kind of a life makes room for that happiness.\\nMany people instinctively think large sums of money lead to limitless freedom and happiness. While that may be true, try to think instead about what it is you'd do with an unlimited supply of money. What would it make easier, specifically? What would you do if money were no object? How would you spend your time? There's your answer.\\nIf you struggle to decide, instead of focusing on an ideal day--which, let's face it, we'd probably all spend at the beach--Try to think of your ideal week. After a whole week on the beach, we'd all probably end up sunburned and bored. What kind of work would you do? When would you do it? Where?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify what is keeping you from getting what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Are you living your ideal life right now? If not, what stands in your way? What would need to change to get what you want? If you are living your ideal life, what would be necessary to sustain your lifestyle? Why aren't you doing what you want right now, today, this moment, this second? What's stopping you?\\nAgain, it's easy to blame money for our problems: \\\"If only I had the money, I could get that new guitar and my band would be great,\\\" we say, making excuses for why we're not signed to a lucrative record deal, forgetting that a new guitar has nothing to do with your ability to write a catchy melody, play well, and work hard on stage.\\nIf only you had the money, it's true, you could travel to Thailand, or write novels all day, or spend all your time gardening heirloom hot peppers. But it's probably not money that's really keeping you from doing those things--it's you giving up on the hand you've been dealt, and folding the cards.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Identify the steps necessary in achieving what you want.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to find total freedom and happiness overnight. It'll likely take some effort to get what you want and find your ideal environment in which to live your life. What efforts on your part will be necessary to getting what you want?\\nSay you decided your ideal life involves having a small and loving family, who leads a quiet life in the country growing vegetables. If that would give you the type of freedom you desire, what can you do now that will actively move you toward that reality?\\nIn the long term, you might start studying permaculture, or wildlife management, or some other field that would involve work in the natural world. Where might you like to own a home? Would you build your own house or buy one? What do you need to save to make it a reality?\\nIn the short-term, you might check out rural co-ops or communes you could visit and exchange work for room and board. Or check out World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF), a program that lets you volunteer on organic farms around the world, getting experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with people you admire.\", \"描述\": \"Role models are essential in finding your true self. As much as we like to think of ourselves as perfectly individual snowflakes, it's important to surround yourself with people who live as you would like to live, not to mimic their behavior, but to learn from it and apply their lessons in your own life.\\nBe careful of constantly comparing yourself to other people if it makes you get down on yourself. Remember, you never know what hardships others really face, only the outside view. Competition can be good for some people and terrible for others. Know yourself and focus on your own life. Worry about your own backyard.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Responsible for Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do it yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you can do something, do it. If you don't need help, don't ask for it. Taking more responsibility for your life and becoming accountable for yourself is the right and responsibility of a life lived freely. Volunteer for things that fall in your wheelhouse, and take on projects that might challenge your abilities, so you can improve yourself and your work.\\nTry to actively expand the list of things you can do by yourself. While it's true you can take your car into the shop every time a light goes out, you'll save money and become more self-reliant if you learn to perform a basic tune-up.\\nAlternatively, it's also good to accept help and learn to recognize when you need it. Being self-reliant doesn't mean being foolish and ignorant of your abilities. If you don't know how to change your car tire, learn how, so you can become more free and less reliant on others in the future. But in the moment, be honest with yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your wants and needs.\", \"描述\": \"Identify the things you want and the things that you need to live your ideal life to help create perspective. \\\"Needs\\\" include anything necessary to sustain a comfortable life. This includes food, shelter, and basic health care. \\\"Wants\\\" might include travel funds, books and movies, or whatever it is that would improve your quality of life.\\nIdeally, if you think about these things as a Venn diagram, they should look as close as possible like a single circle, overlapping almost entirely if you've structured your life in an ideal way. If what you need and what you want line-up, you'll be living the happy and free life you want to lead. What might you change to realign the diagram?\\nTry to create a budget to account for all your needs and as much want as possible to live sustainably. The less you have to worry about money--the less you have to think about it at all--the better off and the more free you'll be.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay off all your debts and live within your means\", \"描述\": \"Student loans and credit card debt will keep you under a heavy curtain of debt that makes it very difficult to live by your own hand. If you're beholden to debtors, can you be truly free? It's a challenge that's unavoidable for some, but you can help yourself move toward freedom by paying down your debts as best you can and as quickly as you can, and by avoiding accruing new debt.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be the boss of your life.\", \"描述\": \"Find work that you love and the work that will allow you to live freely and do what you want. Even if you have to report to a real \\\"boss,\\\" you're beholden to no one as long as you say so. You're in charge of your own life. If you work in an environment that doesn't afford you enough freedom, find a new job.\\nHow you choose to define work might be complicated. Plenty of people \\\"work\\\" during the day doing something that may or may not define their calling in life. Walt Whitman was an ambulance driver, but he also wrote some of the greatest American poems ever written.\\nIf your ideal life involves working only 15 or 20 hours a week, it might be difficult to sustain that life in Manhattan or Los Angeles. Prioritize the various aspects of your ideal life. If the desire to live in a cultural hub outweighs your desire to work less, get multiple jobs, 8 roommates, and move to the Big Apple. If your time is more precious to you, find somewhere the cost of living is cheap and you'll have your time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write your own code and live by it.\", \"描述\": \"What are the criteria of a life lived well? What is necessary to move through the world with dignity and poise? One person's rules may not be applicable for everyone, but it's helpful to have them for yourself. If you want to be free and call the shots, write your own code like the Klingon or the Samurai, and live by it.\\nLastly remember that in order to achieve your biggest dreams you need to have faith in yourself.Always believe you can do it, cause at the end of the day the person who says they can't and the person who says they can will probably both be right.You are what you believe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seizing Each Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to act impulsively, sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"Fried squid and bloody Marys for breakfast on a Wednesday--why not? Weekdays don't have to be plain oatmeal and black coffee. If it sounds good to you and there's no harm in doing it, do it. Breaking up monotony and listening to your own impulses can be a great way of keeping life fresh and exciting. As long as it's legal and not counterproductive to some necessary part of your life, act impulsively. Live in the moment.\\nSometimes, allowing yourself to break small rules of protocol or tact can be a good way of asserting your freedom in the world. Play what you want on the jukebox, even if the other bar patrons don't want all 11 minutes of \\\"Heard it Through the Grapevine.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Visit new places.\", \"描述\": \"Expanding your perspective of the world and learning to embrace freedom requires that you occasionally get outside your comfort zone and experience new things. Visit new places, try new activities, eat new foods. Explore the world and enjoy it.\\nTraveling can be big or small. You don't have to hitchhike to South America to travel and experience something new. Visit new parts of town you've never visited, or explore the small town next to yours. Go somewhere you don't know anyone and learn everything you can. If it's new to you, Brooklyn might as well be Crawfordsville.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Celebrate every accomplishment, no matter how small.\", \"描述\": \"Allow yourself to be proud of yourself. Allow yourself to celebrate successes, or even to celebrate a lack of failures. Each day you've successfully negotiated is cause for reasonable celebrations. Spend time with people you enjoy and give yourself good reasons to work hard.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start living freely right now.\", \"描述\": \"The older you get and the more of the world you experience, the more one thing becomes clear: the only circumstance that's keeping you from happiness and freedom is yourself. Let go of your preconceptions, your hang-ups, and your fears. Free your mind by letting yourself experience the world fully and make each day count. Live the life you want to lead. There's no reason not to.\\nBe careful of becoming a slave to your ideal version of yourself. It's easy to say, \\\"Everything will be better after I graduate\\\" or \\\"Everything will be better after I get this project done\\\" or \\\"Everything will be better when I move to Portland.\\\" Will it? How can you be free in spite of your challenges? How can you be free right now, where you live, right this second? How can you change your environment for the better?\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It's not always a good idea to want to be totally free as this assumes total control to do as one pleases, as to trample over the feeling of others.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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3,720 | How to Be Free from Sin | 1. Understand the Nature of Sin and Grace
1-1. Define sin.
In a broad sense, "sin" refers to anything that falls short of the holiness of God. The easiest to spot are usually actions, but sins can also include thoughts and attitudes.
Certain actions are considered sins, but the desire to perform those actions is sinful, as well. For instance, wanting to commit adultery is a sin just as actually committing adultery is.
Temptation is not a sin, though. If you're put in a compromising situation with someone you find physically attractive, you may feel tempted to act on that attraction. Actually acting on that attraction and committing adultery as a result, or imagining the act of committing adultery even without doing it, is the sin. Simply feeling tempted to do so is not.
1-2. Accept the sinful nature of humanity.
Even though mankind was created in the image of God, the fall of Adam and Eve—the first humans—signified the fall of all humanity. As a result, humans are sinful by their very nature.
In other words, you don't have to be taught how to sin. Sin is already firmly fixed inside of you at the very core of your being from the time of your birth.
1-3. Understand the significance of Christ's sacrifice.
When Jesus died on the cross, He carried the sins of humanity with Him. Christ's sacrifice canceled out the debt of original sin.
In the Old Testament, animal sacrifices were used as a way to repent for the sins of flesh. Even these sacrifices were imperfect, though, so the stain of original sin still remained. As both Son of God and Son of Man, Jesus became the “perfect sacrifice,” capable of freeing the human soul from the chains and punishment of original sin.
1-4. Know what it means to be "free from sin."
Accepting Christ and being freed from sin does not mean that you will never do another wicked thing ever again. Christ's sacrifice freed your spirit from the shackles of sin. Your flesh—including your body, mind, and heart—will still have to deal with everyday sin.
Your soul can be free from sin even though your body still sins. Being free from sin on a soul level should mean that you also seek freedom from sin on a physical level, though, even though it can never be permanently reached.
2. Address Your Sinful Nature
2-1. Turn to Christ.
As previously noted, Jesus saved the soul from the consequences of sin by sacrificing Himself on the cross. You must make a conscious decision to accept the offer of salvation before your soul can truly be free, however.
If you haven't done so already, ask Christ to come into your life, forgive your sins, and set you free.
This is a crucial first step. Without relying on Christ to free you from original sin, you'll still be captive to sin in all its forms.
2-2. Love God more than you love sin.
Doing the right thing out of a sense of duty is legalism, and it isn't what God wants. God wants your love. If you come to love God more than you love your sins and the temporary pleasures those sins bring, you will naturally begin to shift away from your sinful nature.
Focus on doing good works—the works of the Spirit—before worrying about avoiding wicked works of the flesh. When you fix your eyes on that which is good, you are less likely to be drawn toward that which is evil.
When addressing a specific sin or temptation, overcome that evil with something good. For instance, do something nice for someone you love instead of simply telling yourself to stop stewing in anger toward someone else. Acting on the impulse to do something good can distract you from an otherwise bad impulse to do bad more effectively than doing nothing would.
2-3. Recognize the seriousness of your own sin.
Habitual sins embed themselves into a person's life in a way that makes them difficult to acknowledge. You may tell yourself that a particular sin is nothing more than a “bad habit” and, as such, isn't that serious. Breaking free from that sin and a lifestyle of sin can only happen once you acknowledge just how serious your own sins are.
All sin is evil and falls short of God's holiness. This includes both the littlest lie and the most gruesome murder.
Addiction support groups usually ask their members to begin by admitting to the addiction. A person cannot fix a problem until he or she admits to having it. In the same way, you can only break away from sin by admitting to the sins you've committed.
2-4. Vow to resist sin in your heart.
Promise God that you will intentionally avoid sin and seek good. You will inevitably mess up sometimes, but the intention to stay on the right path must be firm and true.
If you are unable to make this vow, you may need to do some soul-searching. If your desire to resist sin still isn't sincere and that lack of sincerity is causing you to hesitate, pray to God, asking Him to give you the right heart and mind to abandon your sinful lifestyle and turn to a life in the Spirit.
2-5. Embed the Word of God in your mind.
One of the biggest powers you have against sin in your life is the Word of God. Study the Scriptures regularly. Your goal should be purity of understanding rather than mere memorization.
A thorough understanding of God's Word can help you identify sin more readily and prepare for the temptations and traps that could lead you there.
Moreover, regular Bible study can also strengthen your faith and make you more aware of God's promises. As your understanding of God's love increases, your desire to love the things that God loves will increase, too, making it easier to resist that which is wicked.
2-6. Pray with sincerity and devotion.
Ask God to guide your steps and help you avoid sin. Pray in this manner continually, regardless of whether or not you are actively facing a present temptation.
Prayer of all kind is a useful tool in the fight against sin, even when you don't specifically pray for strength against temptation. Through prayer, you can communicate with God, which allows you to grow in your relationship with Him. As your love for God deepens, your interest in sin will usually fade away more effectively.
3. Deal with Everyday Sin
3-1. Watch for the movement of sin in your life.
Every person has his or her own weak points, and those weak points may vary from person to person. Identify your own by looking for signs of sin in your own actions and thoughts.
Habitual sins are often the hardest to identify, even though they're the ones you are most familiar with. That being said, you can usually spot them by looking for thoughts and actions that drive a wedge between you and God.
3-2. Flee from temptation.
Don't test your faith by intentionally putting your soul in harm's way. When you see temptation lying ahead of you, avoid it instead of confronting it.
Ultimately, the goal is to avoid sinning, so any steps you can take to reach that goal are good steps to take. To that end, it is wiser to avoid the temptation to sin altogether when doing so is possible since confronting temptation only increases your risk of caving in.
For instance, if you were preparing for a major exam and accidentally found a copy of the instructor's answer sheet, holding onto that answer sheet for the duration of that exam will make you more likely to use it. Disposing of it or returning it to the instructor removes the temptation of cheating from you, thereby guaranteeing that you won't do it.
3-3. Walk alone and walk with others.
Your commitment to a life free of sin must be a personal one. Mingling with people who can help you stay committed can be beneficial, but you also need to be prepared to walk apart from the crowd.
Following the crowd constantly will get you into trouble, even if the crowd seems to be made of religious or well-meaning people. Everyone is flawed. You need to be able to see and follow the path that God has put in front of you regardless of whether or not anyone else is following it.
On the other hand, spending time with people who share your beliefs can be a good thing because they can help keep you accountable. You can also use these human relationships to enhance your understanding of God through discussion and acts of love.
3-4. Repent immediately.
When you do sin, repent immediately and with sincerity. Don't delay or waste time trying to justify your actions. Excuses to yourself and God will hinder your improvement.
Even though your soul has already been freed from the chains of original sin, you can only release your spirit and conscience of your own sins by taking them to God and asking for forgiveness. In the midst of your repentance, you should also ask for the strength to turn away from the same sin in the future.
3-5. Refuse to give up.
No matter how many times you fall, you need to pick yourself back up and keep trying. The struggle against sin in your life is not a “one time” issue. It's something you'll need to face throughout your entire life.
The good news is that it's a struggle you don't have to face alone. God has freed your soul from sin and will not abandon you in your efforts to resist sin in the flesh. The final victory belongs to God, and as long as you cling to Him, you'll experience the benefit of that victory.
Remind yourself of the reward waiting for you by regularly meditating on the promise of salvation that God has made to you. Sin can seem like a very appealing source of immediate satisfaction, so thinking only of the present moment can make it difficult to resist sin. Shift your focus to the even greater source of satisfaction waiting for you in the future.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understand the Nature of Sin and Grace\\n1-1. Define sin.\\nIn a broad sense, \\\"sin\\\" refers to anything that falls short of the holiness of God. The easiest to spot are usually actions, but sins can also include thoughts and attitudes.\\nCertain actions are considered sins, but the desire to perform those actions is sinful, as well. For instance, wanting to commit adultery is a sin just as actually committing adultery is.\\nTemptation is not a sin, though. If you're put in a compromising situation with someone you find physically attractive, you may feel tempted to act on that attraction. Actually acting on that attraction and committing adultery as a result, or imagining the act of committing adultery even without doing it, is the sin. Simply feeling tempted to do so is not.\\n1-2. Accept the sinful nature of humanity.\\nEven though mankind was created in the image of God, the fall of Adam and Eve—the first humans—signified the fall of all humanity. As a result, humans are sinful by their very nature.\\nIn other words, you don't have to be taught how to sin. Sin is already firmly fixed inside of you at the very core of your being from the time of your birth.\\n1-3. Understand the significance of Christ's sacrifice.\\nWhen Jesus died on the cross, He carried the sins of humanity with Him. Christ's sacrifice canceled out the debt of original sin.\\nIn the Old Testament, animal sacrifices were used as a way to repent for the sins of flesh. Even these sacrifices were imperfect, though, so the stain of original sin still remained. As both Son of God and Son of Man, Jesus became the “perfect sacrifice,” capable of freeing the human soul from the chains and punishment of original sin.\\n1-4. Know what it means to be \\\"free from sin.\\\"\\nAccepting Christ and being freed from sin does not mean that you will never do another wicked thing ever again. Christ's sacrifice freed your spirit from the shackles of sin. Your flesh—including your body, mind, and heart—will still have to deal with everyday sin.\\nYour soul can be free from sin even though your body still sins. Being free from sin on a soul level should mean that you also seek freedom from sin on a physical level, though, even though it can never be permanently reached.\\n2. Address Your Sinful Nature\\n2-1. Turn to Christ.\\nAs previously noted, Jesus saved the soul from the consequences of sin by sacrificing Himself on the cross. You must make a conscious decision to accept the offer of salvation before your soul can truly be free, however.\\nIf you haven't done so already, ask Christ to come into your life, forgive your sins, and set you free.\\nThis is a crucial first step. Without relying on Christ to free you from original sin, you'll still be captive to sin in all its forms.\\n2-2. Love God more than you love sin.\\nDoing the right thing out of a sense of duty is legalism, and it isn't what God wants. God wants your love. If you come to love God more than you love your sins and the temporary pleasures those sins bring, you will naturally begin to shift away from your sinful nature.\\nFocus on doing good works—the works of the Spirit—before worrying about avoiding wicked works of the flesh. When you fix your eyes on that which is good, you are less likely to be drawn toward that which is evil.\\nWhen addressing a specific sin or temptation, overcome that evil with something good. For instance, do something nice for someone you love instead of simply telling yourself to stop stewing in anger toward someone else. Acting on the impulse to do something good can distract you from an otherwise bad impulse to do bad more effectively than doing nothing would.\\n2-3. Recognize the seriousness of your own sin.\\nHabitual sins embed themselves into a person's life in a way that makes them difficult to acknowledge. You may tell yourself that a particular sin is nothing more than a “bad habit” and, as such, isn't that serious. Breaking free from that sin and a lifestyle of sin can only happen once you acknowledge just how serious your own sins are.\\nAll sin is evil and falls short of God's holiness. This includes both the littlest lie and the most gruesome murder.\\nAddiction support groups usually ask their members to begin by admitting to the addiction. A person cannot fix a problem until he or she admits to having it. In the same way, you can only break away from sin by admitting to the sins you've committed.\\n2-4. Vow to resist sin in your heart.\\nPromise God that you will intentionally avoid sin and seek good. You will inevitably mess up sometimes, but the intention to stay on the right path must be firm and true.\\nIf you are unable to make this vow, you may need to do some soul-searching. If your desire to resist sin still isn't sincere and that lack of sincerity is causing you to hesitate, pray to God, asking Him to give you the right heart and mind to abandon your sinful lifestyle and turn to a life in the Spirit.\\n2-5. Embed the Word of God in your mind.\\nOne of the biggest powers you have against sin in your life is the Word of God. Study the Scriptures regularly. Your goal should be purity of understanding rather than mere memorization.\\nA thorough understanding of God's Word can help you identify sin more readily and prepare for the temptations and traps that could lead you there.\\nMoreover, regular Bible study can also strengthen your faith and make you more aware of God's promises. As your understanding of God's love increases, your desire to love the things that God loves will increase, too, making it easier to resist that which is wicked.\\n2-6. Pray with sincerity and devotion.\\nAsk God to guide your steps and help you avoid sin. Pray in this manner continually, regardless of whether or not you are actively facing a present temptation.\\nPrayer of all kind is a useful tool in the fight against sin, even when you don't specifically pray for strength against temptation. Through prayer, you can communicate with God, which allows you to grow in your relationship with Him. As your love for God deepens, your interest in sin will usually fade away more effectively.\\n3. Deal with Everyday Sin\\n3-1. Watch for the movement of sin in your life.\\nEvery person has his or her own weak points, and those weak points may vary from person to person. Identify your own by looking for signs of sin in your own actions and thoughts.\\nHabitual sins are often the hardest to identify, even though they're the ones you are most familiar with. That being said, you can usually spot them by looking for thoughts and actions that drive a wedge between you and God.\\n3-2. Flee from temptation.\\nDon't test your faith by intentionally putting your soul in harm's way. When you see temptation lying ahead of you, avoid it instead of confronting it.\\nUltimately, the goal is to avoid sinning, so any steps you can take to reach that goal are good steps to take. To that end, it is wiser to avoid the temptation to sin altogether when doing so is possible since confronting temptation only increases your risk of caving in.\\nFor instance, if you were preparing for a major exam and accidentally found a copy of the instructor's answer sheet, holding onto that answer sheet for the duration of that exam will make you more likely to use it. Disposing of it or returning it to the instructor removes the temptation of cheating from you, thereby guaranteeing that you won't do it.\\n3-3. Walk alone and walk with others.\\nYour commitment to a life free of sin must be a personal one. Mingling with people who can help you stay committed can be beneficial, but you also need to be prepared to walk apart from the crowd.\\nFollowing the crowd constantly will get you into trouble, even if the crowd seems to be made of religious or well-meaning people. Everyone is flawed. You need to be able to see and follow the path that God has put in front of you regardless of whether or not anyone else is following it.\\nOn the other hand, spending time with people who share your beliefs can be a good thing because they can help keep you accountable. You can also use these human relationships to enhance your understanding of God through discussion and acts of love.\\n3-4. Repent immediately.\\nWhen you do sin, repent immediately and with sincerity. Don't delay or waste time trying to justify your actions. Excuses to yourself and God will hinder your improvement.\\nEven though your soul has already been freed from the chains of original sin, you can only release your spirit and conscience of your own sins by taking them to God and asking for forgiveness. In the midst of your repentance, you should also ask for the strength to turn away from the same sin in the future.\\n3-5. Refuse to give up.\\nNo matter how many times you fall, you need to pick yourself back up and keep trying. The struggle against sin in your life is not a “one time” issue. It's something you'll need to face throughout your entire life.\\nThe good news is that it's a struggle you don't have to face alone. God has freed your soul from sin and will not abandon you in your efforts to resist sin in the flesh. The final victory belongs to God, and as long as you cling to Him, you'll experience the benefit of that victory.\\nRemind yourself of the reward waiting for you by regularly meditating on the promise of salvation that God has made to you. Sin can seem like a very appealing source of immediate satisfaction, so thinking only of the present moment can make it difficult to resist sin. Shift your focus to the even greater source of satisfaction waiting for you in the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In Romans 6:18, the Apostle Paul writes, \\\"You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness\\\" (NIV). The concept of being free from sin can be a confusing one since all humans fall short of perfection and inevitably commit sins. Being free from sin doesn't mean that you'll never sin again, but it does mean that your soul can be free of the captivity sin would otherwise hold it in.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand the Nature of Sin and Grace\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Define sin.\", \"描述\": \"In a broad sense, \\\"sin\\\" refers to anything that falls short of the holiness of God. The easiest to spot are usually actions, but sins can also include thoughts and attitudes.\\nCertain actions are considered sins, but the desire to perform those actions is sinful, as well. For instance, wanting to commit adultery is a sin just as actually committing adultery is.\\nTemptation is not a sin, though. If you're put in a compromising situation with someone you find physically attractive, you may feel tempted to act on that attraction. Actually acting on that attraction and committing adultery as a result, or imagining the act of committing adultery even without doing it, is the sin. Simply feeling tempted to do so is not.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept the sinful nature of humanity.\", \"描述\": \"Even though mankind was created in the image of God, the fall of Adam and Eve—the first humans—signified the fall of all humanity. As a result, humans are sinful by their very nature.\\nIn other words, you don't have to be taught how to sin. Sin is already firmly fixed inside of you at the very core of your being from the time of your birth.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand the significance of Christ's sacrifice.\", \"描述\": \"When Jesus died on the cross, He carried the sins of humanity with Him. Christ's sacrifice canceled out the debt of original sin.\\nIn the Old Testament, animal sacrifices were used as a way to repent for the sins of flesh. Even these sacrifices were imperfect, though, so the stain of original sin still remained. As both Son of God and Son of Man, Jesus became the “perfect sacrifice,” capable of freeing the human soul from the chains and punishment of original sin.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know what it means to be \\\"free from sin.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Accepting Christ and being freed from sin does not mean that you will never do another wicked thing ever again. Christ's sacrifice freed your spirit from the shackles of sin. Your flesh—including your body, mind, and heart—will still have to deal with everyday sin.\\nYour soul can be free from sin even though your body still sins. Being free from sin on a soul level should mean that you also seek freedom from sin on a physical level, though, even though it can never be permanently reached.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Address Your Sinful Nature\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turn to Christ.\", \"描述\": \"As previously noted, Jesus saved the soul from the consequences of sin by sacrificing Himself on the cross. You must make a conscious decision to accept the offer of salvation before your soul can truly be free, however.\\nIf you haven't done so already, ask Christ to come into your life, forgive your sins, and set you free.\\nThis is a crucial first step. Without relying on Christ to free you from original sin, you'll still be captive to sin in all its forms.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Love God more than you love sin.\", \"描述\": \"Doing the right thing out of a sense of duty is legalism, and it isn't what God wants. God wants your love. If you come to love God more than you love your sins and the temporary pleasures those sins bring, you will naturally begin to shift away from your sinful nature.\\nFocus on doing good works—the works of the Spirit—before worrying about avoiding wicked works of the flesh. When you fix your eyes on that which is good, you are less likely to be drawn toward that which is evil.\\nWhen addressing a specific sin or temptation, overcome that evil with something good. For instance, do something nice for someone you love instead of simply telling yourself to stop stewing in anger toward someone else. Acting on the impulse to do something good can distract you from an otherwise bad impulse to do bad more effectively than doing nothing would.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize the seriousness of your own sin.\", \"描述\": \"Habitual sins embed themselves into a person's life in a way that makes them difficult to acknowledge. You may tell yourself that a particular sin is nothing more than a “bad habit” and, as such, isn't that serious. Breaking free from that sin and a lifestyle of sin can only happen once you acknowledge just how serious your own sins are.\\nAll sin is evil and falls short of God's holiness. This includes both the littlest lie and the most gruesome murder.\\nAddiction support groups usually ask their members to begin by admitting to the addiction. A person cannot fix a problem until he or she admits to having it. In the same way, you can only break away from sin by admitting to the sins you've committed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Vow to resist sin in your heart.\", \"描述\": \"Promise God that you will intentionally avoid sin and seek good. You will inevitably mess up sometimes, but the intention to stay on the right path must be firm and true.\\nIf you are unable to make this vow, you may need to do some soul-searching. If your desire to resist sin still isn't sincere and that lack of sincerity is causing you to hesitate, pray to God, asking Him to give you the right heart and mind to abandon your sinful lifestyle and turn to a life in the Spirit.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Embed the Word of God in your mind.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest powers you have against sin in your life is the Word of God. Study the Scriptures regularly. Your goal should be purity of understanding rather than mere memorization.\\nA thorough understanding of God's Word can help you identify sin more readily and prepare for the temptations and traps that could lead you there.\\nMoreover, regular Bible study can also strengthen your faith and make you more aware of God's promises. As your understanding of God's love increases, your desire to love the things that God loves will increase, too, making it easier to resist that which is wicked.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pray with sincerity and devotion.\", \"描述\": \"Ask God to guide your steps and help you avoid sin. Pray in this manner continually, regardless of whether or not you are actively facing a present temptation.\\nPrayer of all kind is a useful tool in the fight against sin, even when you don't specifically pray for strength against temptation. Through prayer, you can communicate with God, which allows you to grow in your relationship with Him. As your love for God deepens, your interest in sin will usually fade away more effectively.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deal with Everyday Sin\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch for the movement of sin in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Every person has his or her own weak points, and those weak points may vary from person to person. Identify your own by looking for signs of sin in your own actions and thoughts.\\nHabitual sins are often the hardest to identify, even though they're the ones you are most familiar with. That being said, you can usually spot them by looking for thoughts and actions that drive a wedge between you and God.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flee from temptation.\", \"描述\": \"Don't test your faith by intentionally putting your soul in harm's way. When you see temptation lying ahead of you, avoid it instead of confronting it.\\nUltimately, the goal is to avoid sinning, so any steps you can take to reach that goal are good steps to take. To that end, it is wiser to avoid the temptation to sin altogether when doing so is possible since confronting temptation only increases your risk of caving in.\\nFor instance, if you were preparing for a major exam and accidentally found a copy of the instructor's answer sheet, holding onto that answer sheet for the duration of that exam will make you more likely to use it. Disposing of it or returning it to the instructor removes the temptation of cheating from you, thereby guaranteeing that you won't do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Walk alone and walk with others.\", \"描述\": \"Your commitment to a life free of sin must be a personal one. Mingling with people who can help you stay committed can be beneficial, but you also need to be prepared to walk apart from the crowd.\\nFollowing the crowd constantly will get you into trouble, even if the crowd seems to be made of religious or well-meaning people. Everyone is flawed. You need to be able to see and follow the path that God has put in front of you regardless of whether or not anyone else is following it.\\nOn the other hand, spending time with people who share your beliefs can be a good thing because they can help keep you accountable. You can also use these human relationships to enhance your understanding of God through discussion and acts of love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Repent immediately.\", \"描述\": \"When you do sin, repent immediately and with sincerity. Don't delay or waste time trying to justify your actions. Excuses to yourself and God will hinder your improvement.\\nEven though your soul has already been freed from the chains of original sin, you can only release your spirit and conscience of your own sins by taking them to God and asking for forgiveness. In the midst of your repentance, you should also ask for the strength to turn away from the same sin in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Refuse to give up.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how many times you fall, you need to pick yourself back up and keep trying. The struggle against sin in your life is not a “one time” issue. It's something you'll need to face throughout your entire life.\\nThe good news is that it's a struggle you don't have to face alone. God has freed your soul from sin and will not abandon you in your efforts to resist sin in the flesh. The final victory belongs to God, and as long as you cling to Him, you'll experience the benefit of that victory.\\nRemind yourself of the reward waiting for you by regularly meditating on the promise of salvation that God has made to you. Sin can seem like a very appealing source of immediate satisfaction, so thinking only of the present moment can make it difficult to resist sin. Shift your focus to the even greater source of satisfaction waiting for you in the future.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,721 | How to Be Friendly | 1. Being Approachable
1-1. Smile more.
You don't have to give every person you see a huge grin to be friendlier. However, making a goal to smile at least 30% more on a daily basis, whether you're smiling at people you know, complete strangers, or acquaintances who cross your path, smiling will make you look like a much more approachable, friendly person. Remember when you passed that guy you met that one time and he looked in the other direction and pretended you didn't exist? How did that make you feel? If you want people to feel good about talking to you, then you should smile more at them.
You can also make a goal of smiling more during the course of a conversation.
Practice smiling every day, even when you’re by yourself. The act of smiling—even when you’re making yourself smile instead of doing it naturally—causes your brain to release feel-good chemicals and lifts your mood.
1-2. Have open body language.
If you want people to feel like you're approachable and open to talking to them, then you have to master open body language. Here are the things that you can do to make people want to talk to you more:
Keep your legs together instead of crossed
Have good posture instead of slouching
Keep your arms at your sides instead of crossing them
Lean forward toward other people
1-3. Rid yourself of distractions.
Another way to be friendlier is to notice everything that's going on around you instead of trying to beat the new level of Candy Crush on your iPhone. If you're tapping away at your phone, burying your nose in a book, staring at your computer, or even just picking at the paint on your fingernails, then people will think you have better things to do than to talk to them. Instead, look ahead, smile, and be ready for what the world has to offer you. You'll be surprised by how many more people think you're friendly and how quickly they come your way.
Tapping away at your cell phone is rude, especially when you're actively engaging in conversation with people.
1-4. Make eye contact.
This is something you should work on whether you're just saying hi to a person who is walking by or talking to someone face-to-face. You don't have to stare into a person's eyes 100% of the time to be friendly, but you should work on making as much eye contact as possible when you're listening to people, so that they feel like you care about them and that they're actually worth your time. When it's your turn to talk, you can look around a bit more.
If you're walking down a hallway and it's just you and another person, why not look that person in the eyes and say hello instead of staring at the floor or pretending to be fascinated by your own fingernails?
1-5. Laugh easily.
The ability to laugh easily is another trait of the friendly person. You don't have to laugh at everything a person says, or you may sound fake, but you should make an effort to laugh about 20% more, especially when people are trying to be funny, say something kind of funny, or just when you feel people need a boost of support and confidence. Laughing more will not only give your conversations more of a positive vibe, but the people around you -- even the people who are just walking by -- will see you as a friendlier person.
Laughing and smiling more? Now that's a potent combo.
2. Mastering Friendly Conversation
2-1. Master small talk.
Knowing how to make small talk will go a long way in making you friendlier. Maybe you have a hard time making small talk because you're too busy, distracted, or just shy. But it's not as hard as it sounds. All you have to do is make the person feel comfortable, find some common ground, and reveal a little bit about yourself. If you get more comfortable, then you can start digging deeper and discuss more personal issues.
Some people think that small talk is completely superficial, but it's not. All good friendships and relationships start out with a bit of small talk. You can't just jump in and talk to a new person about the meaning of life, can you?
You can even make small talk with the checkout person just to be nice. Make a comment about the weather, say something about the addicting tasty guacamole you're buying, or compliment that person's jewelry. It'll make you feel more positive and it'll make your day go by faster.
Just like any skill, it takes practice to get good at small talk. Make an effort to practice small talk as often as possible throughout your day. You might start by asking a question (“Have you read this book? Is it any good?”) or commenting on something in your environment (“Wow, the flowers are really blooming! I’m so glad it’s finally spring.”).
2-2. Ask people questions about themselves.
If you want to be friendly, then you have to show a real interest in people. They have to see that you really care about who they are, what they think, and what they do. If you want to be friendly, then you have to ask people a variety of simple questions that show them you care. You shouldn't ask anything too personal or they might get offended, though; stick to some of the same topics first and move on from there once you know them better. Here are some great topics to try:
Pets
Favorite sports teams
Favorite hobbies
Favorite bands, books, or movies
Favorite food, drink
Siblings
Weekend trips
School or work
What they’re trying to achieve in life
Favorite vacations or where they would like to travel to
2-3. Compliment others.
Complimenting people -- when you mean it -- will make you seem and feel like a much friendlier person. Just a small compliment given at the right time will make people think, "They’re really nice!" and will make them feel more comfortable and happy to be in your presence. You don't have to compliment anything too serious, especially at first, and you can just say something nice about the person's jewelry, outfit, haircut, or even say that the person has a great sense of humor.
When you're talking to someone, ask yourself, what's one awesome quality this person has that I would like to compliment? You should come up with one pretty quickly.
2-4. Use people's names when you talk to them.
This is a simple yet effective trick to making people like you more and to seem friendlier. If you use people's names, you show them that you care about them and that you can really distinguish them as individuals. You don't have to overdo it to get the point across. Just saying, "Hi, Ellen!" when you greet the person, or saying, "You're completely right about that, Ashley," in the course of a conversation will make you seem like a friendlier person.
If a person you've just met tells you their name, using it once or twice throughout your conversation will make you remember it for next time.
2-5. Know when you're giving people the cold shoulder.
Some people are unfriendly without even realizing it. If someone has given you a big "Hi!" and is approaching you while slowing down, this is because that person wants to talk to you; if you just say "hey," and keep walking, then you'll look rude. You may think that you're just giving off a neutral or a busy vibe, but that may often come off as unfriendly.
If you don't hold doors for people or smile at them when they smile at you, and avoid looking in the direction of people you don't know even if they're standing right next to you, then you'll look rude without even knowing it.
A little common courtesy and good manners can go a long way toward helping you connect with others. Just saying “thank you” or opening a door for someone can brighten their day or even lead to a friendly conversation.
2-6. Focus on the positive topics.
When you are talking to people, try to stick to the uplifting stuff. Instead of complaining about work or school, talking about something bad that happened to you, or just generally being negative, mention something awesome that happened to you that week, something you're looking forward to, or even something funny you saw on TV. Talking about more positive topics will make you seem friendlier in everyday conversation because you'll seem like a fun, upbeat person that other people want to talk to.
You don't have to pretend to be someone else to avoid discussing unpleasant topics throughout the course of a conversation.
Try to avoid controversial topics, like religion or politics.
Sure, if something terrible happened to you or if you really feel like griping, go for it. But try to say at least 3 positive things for every 1 negative thing so you still seem like a positive person.
2-7. Open up.
Part of being friendly is making yourself a little bit vulnerable and sharing something about yourself with others. You don't have to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. Mentioning something slightly embarrassing, goofy, or just offbeat will have a winning effect on people and will make them think that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you're comfortable talking to other people. Here are some things you can open up about:
Childhood pets
Wacky vacations
A prank you played on your sibling
A funny mistake you made
Something you've always wanted to do
Your experience doing something offbeat for the first time
A story about your family
3. Kicking Up Your Social Game
3-1. Make an effort to talk to new people.
This is another cornerstone of being friendlier. You may be really shy, or you might just think that new people aren't worth your time. Well, that changes today! Start making conversation with strangers sitting next to you on the plane, people at parties, or friends of friends that you run into. Make sure you read the situation and that the person actually wants to talk to someone new, and then proceed with a big smile on your face.
You don't have to talk to every new person who comes your way, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel.
Introduce yourself to people you don't know. If you're in a group of friends and a new person who other people know comes on the scene, take the initiative.
3-2. Give more invitations.
Part of being friendlier is showing that you want to spend more time with other people. How do you do that? You invite them to do stuff. Start small by inviting a group of people to a movie, a free concert, or to grab coffee or ice cream some time, and see how much friendlier you feel after they eagerly accept your invitation. Make a goal of inviting people to do more things with you at least once a week and you'll be living a friendlier life.
Get brave. Invite acquaintances to hang out one on one and turn your acquaintance into a real friendship.
Throw a party. Invite an eclectic crowd of people and have fun introducing them to each other.
3-3. Accept more invitations.
Another way to be friendlier is to say yes when people ask you to do stuff. You may be afraid of hanging out with people you don't know that well, or you may be too busy. Maybe you just prefer to hang out with yourself, a bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream, and Snookums, your pet ferret. But you have to get over all that if you want to be friendly. Start accepting people's invitations to go to the movies, dinner, or to a party.
You don't have to say yes to something that sounds completely horrible. But the next time you really want to say no, ask yourself what is behind your impulse. Are you afraid of something new? Socially anxious? Or just feeling lazy? These aren't the greatest reasons to miss out on a good time.
3-4. Have a bustling social life.
If you want to be friendlier, then you have to spend more time with your friends. Spending more time around other people will make you be a more socially aware and sensitive person who is used to talking to other people. Try to fill your calendar with parties, social engagements, group hiking, biking, swimming trips, and other fun friend-filled outings if you want to be friendly more regularly.
To have a bustling social life, you have to make your social life a priority. Don't let work, school, or other commitments get in your way -- not too much, at least.
It's important to have a busy social life, but you should also save some time for yourself. You'll need to decompress, especially if you're not used to spending so much time around other people.
3-5. Practice being friendlier to people you don't like.
This may be a tough pill to swallow. You don't have to become BFFs with your greatest enemy to work on being friendlier to people in your orbit -- whether it's your uptight math teacher, your crotchety uncle, or that kind-of quiet girl who is on the fringes of your social circle. You'll be surprised by how good you'll feel about being nicer to someone instead of giving them the cold shoulder, and that person may surprise with friendliness in return.
Make a list of 5 people that you have always treated sort of coldly. Find ways to be nice to each of these people -- even if you feel they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is a key quality to being friendlier. Holding grudges can make you angry on the inside, and that may affect your attitude on the outside.
3-6. Overcome your insecurities.
Part of the reason that you may not be the friendliest person in the world might be that you're lacking confidence and think that people will judge you any time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what lies behind your distrust or coldness to other people and see if it has to do more with what you think of yourself. If that's the case, then work on loving the person you are, loving what you do, and addressing the flaws that need some work.
Of course, overcoming your insecurities can take years of hard work, but recognizing this as one of the sources of your problem with being friendly can make you be more willing to be nice to others. Remember that they may be just as insecure as you are, maybe more.
If your anxiety about social situations is so severe that it’s interfering with your daily life, you might benefit from talking to a counselor or other mental health professional.
3-7. Befriend people of your age and stage.
"Age and stage" refers not only to the age of a person, but to the stage of life that person is in. A stage of life could be being a college student, being a young professional, being a middle-aged mother, or being an older person who spends more time alone. Finding people who are around your age and your stage will make you more likely to find time to hang out and will give you more things to talk about.
For example, if you're a young mother, join a young mothers group and you'll be on the way to making some amazing new friends.
3-8. Show a genuine interest in people.
This is the key to not just looking friendly, but actually being a friendly person. A real friendly person actually cares about others and wants to make them feel comfortable. A real friendly person is concerned when others are upset and uplifted when others are happy; a real friendly person doesn't talk to people just to look cooler or to have more Facebook friends. If you really want to be friendly, then you have to remember this whenever you talk to people. If you actually care about them -- they will be able to tell.
Of course, you can't possibly take an interest in everyone in your orbit. But the more you try to be nice to people, the more natural it will feel.
Remember that being friendly has nothing to do with being fake. And that it has everything to do with being more approachable, treating people with respect, and giving off a positive energy.
3-9. Surround yourself with friendly people.
It’s easier to be friendly when you spend time with friendly people. Not only will they model the kinds of behaviors that you want to emulate, but you may find that their positive energy and friendly attitudes are contagious!
When you are around friendly people, others will feel better about approaching you.
Being involved with unfriendly, intimidating or rude people makes others wary about approaching or talking to you. They may fear being confronted by those people, or they may simply assume that you are the same as them because you just hang out with them.
Tips
Don't be shy. Say hello to people you haven't talked to in a while. Just keep in touch; it will be appreciated.
Look at yourself in the mirror and think positive thoughts about your appearance. If you like yourself, others will, too.
Make a conscious decision to like people you meet. It will produce positive verbal and body language that will bring out the best in people. You will often find that other people are as friendly as you are.
Warnings
If you are overly friendly, you could end up seeming just plain creepy. This will just scare people off and will make people have a negative first impression of you.
Be careful with your sense of humor. A joke which seems funny to you may not be funny to everyone else. It's very easy to upset someone without realizing it. What you consider a joke or 'banter' can easily be offensive to someone else. This can cause you lots of problems in the work place or in other social settings, such as community club and school.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Approachable\\n1-1. Smile more.\\nYou don't have to give every person you see a huge grin to be friendlier. However, making a goal to smile at least 30% more on a daily basis, whether you're smiling at people you know, complete strangers, or acquaintances who cross your path, smiling will make you look like a much more approachable, friendly person. Remember when you passed that guy you met that one time and he looked in the other direction and pretended you didn't exist? How did that make you feel? If you want people to feel good about talking to you, then you should smile more at them.\\nYou can also make a goal of smiling more during the course of a conversation.\\nPractice smiling every day, even when you’re by yourself. The act of smiling—even when you’re making yourself smile instead of doing it naturally—causes your brain to release feel-good chemicals and lifts your mood.\\n1-2. Have open body language.\\nIf you want people to feel like you're approachable and open to talking to them, then you have to master open body language. Here are the things that you can do to make people want to talk to you more:\\nKeep your legs together instead of crossed\\nHave good posture instead of slouching\\nKeep your arms at your sides instead of crossing them\\nLean forward toward other people\\n1-3. Rid yourself of distractions.\\nAnother way to be friendlier is to notice everything that's going on around you instead of trying to beat the new level of Candy Crush on your iPhone. If you're tapping away at your phone, burying your nose in a book, staring at your computer, or even just picking at the paint on your fingernails, then people will think you have better things to do than to talk to them. Instead, look ahead, smile, and be ready for what the world has to offer you. You'll be surprised by how many more people think you're friendly and how quickly they come your way.\\nTapping away at your cell phone is rude, especially when you're actively engaging in conversation with people.\\n1-4. Make eye contact.\\nThis is something you should work on whether you're just saying hi to a person who is walking by or talking to someone face-to-face. You don't have to stare into a person's eyes 100% of the time to be friendly, but you should work on making as much eye contact as possible when you're listening to people, so that they feel like you care about them and that they're actually worth your time. When it's your turn to talk, you can look around a bit more.\\nIf you're walking down a hallway and it's just you and another person, why not look that person in the eyes and say hello instead of staring at the floor or pretending to be fascinated by your own fingernails?\\n1-5. Laugh easily.\\nThe ability to laugh easily is another trait of the friendly person. You don't have to laugh at everything a person says, or you may sound fake, but you should make an effort to laugh about 20% more, especially when people are trying to be funny, say something kind of funny, or just when you feel people need a boost of support and confidence. Laughing more will not only give your conversations more of a positive vibe, but the people around you -- even the people who are just walking by -- will see you as a friendlier person.\\nLaughing and smiling more? Now that's a potent combo.\\n2. Mastering Friendly Conversation\\n2-1. Master small talk.\\nKnowing how to make small talk will go a long way in making you friendlier. Maybe you have a hard time making small talk because you're too busy, distracted, or just shy. But it's not as hard as it sounds. All you have to do is make the person feel comfortable, find some common ground, and reveal a little bit about yourself. If you get more comfortable, then you can start digging deeper and discuss more personal issues.\\nSome people think that small talk is completely superficial, but it's not. All good friendships and relationships start out with a bit of small talk. You can't just jump in and talk to a new person about the meaning of life, can you?\\nYou can even make small talk with the checkout person just to be nice. Make a comment about the weather, say something about the addicting tasty guacamole you're buying, or compliment that person's jewelry. It'll make you feel more positive and it'll make your day go by faster.\\nJust like any skill, it takes practice to get good at small talk. Make an effort to practice small talk as often as possible throughout your day. You might start by asking a question (“Have you read this book? Is it any good?”) or commenting on something in your environment (“Wow, the flowers are really blooming! I’m so glad it’s finally spring.”).\\n2-2. Ask people questions about themselves.\\nIf you want to be friendly, then you have to show a real interest in people. They have to see that you really care about who they are, what they think, and what they do. If you want to be friendly, then you have to ask people a variety of simple questions that show them you care. You shouldn't ask anything too personal or they might get offended, though; stick to some of the same topics first and move on from there once you know them better. Here are some great topics to try:\\nPets\\nFavorite sports teams\\nFavorite hobbies\\nFavorite bands, books, or movies\\nFavorite food, drink\\nSiblings\\nWeekend trips\\nSchool or work\\nWhat they’re trying to achieve in life\\nFavorite vacations or where they would like to travel to\\n2-3. Compliment others.\\nComplimenting people -- when you mean it -- will make you seem and feel like a much friendlier person. Just a small compliment given at the right time will make people think, \\\"They’re really nice!\\\" and will make them feel more comfortable and happy to be in your presence. You don't have to compliment anything too serious, especially at first, and you can just say something nice about the person's jewelry, outfit, haircut, or even say that the person has a great sense of humor.\\nWhen you're talking to someone, ask yourself, what's one awesome quality this person has that I would like to compliment? You should come up with one pretty quickly.\\n2-4. Use people's names when you talk to them.\\nThis is a simple yet effective trick to making people like you more and to seem friendlier. If you use people's names, you show them that you care about them and that you can really distinguish them as individuals. You don't have to overdo it to get the point across. Just saying, \\\"Hi, Ellen!\\\" when you greet the person, or saying, \\\"You're completely right about that, Ashley,\\\" in the course of a conversation will make you seem like a friendlier person.\\nIf a person you've just met tells you their name, using it once or twice throughout your conversation will make you remember it for next time.\\n2-5. Know when you're giving people the cold shoulder.\\nSome people are unfriendly without even realizing it. If someone has given you a big \\\"Hi!\\\" and is approaching you while slowing down, this is because that person wants to talk to you; if you just say \\\"hey,\\\" and keep walking, then you'll look rude. You may think that you're just giving off a neutral or a busy vibe, but that may often come off as unfriendly.\\nIf you don't hold doors for people or smile at them when they smile at you, and avoid looking in the direction of people you don't know even if they're standing right next to you, then you'll look rude without even knowing it.\\nA little common courtesy and good manners can go a long way toward helping you connect with others. Just saying “thank you” or opening a door for someone can brighten their day or even lead to a friendly conversation.\\n2-6. Focus on the positive topics.\\nWhen you are talking to people, try to stick to the uplifting stuff. Instead of complaining about work or school, talking about something bad that happened to you, or just generally being negative, mention something awesome that happened to you that week, something you're looking forward to, or even something funny you saw on TV. Talking about more positive topics will make you seem friendlier in everyday conversation because you'll seem like a fun, upbeat person that other people want to talk to.\\nYou don't have to pretend to be someone else to avoid discussing unpleasant topics throughout the course of a conversation.\\nTry to avoid controversial topics, like religion or politics.\\nSure, if something terrible happened to you or if you really feel like griping, go for it. But try to say at least 3 positive things for every 1 negative thing so you still seem like a positive person.\\n2-7. Open up.\\nPart of being friendly is making yourself a little bit vulnerable and sharing something about yourself with others. You don't have to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. Mentioning something slightly embarrassing, goofy, or just offbeat will have a winning effect on people and will make them think that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you're comfortable talking to other people. Here are some things you can open up about:\\nChildhood pets\\nWacky vacations\\nA prank you played on your sibling\\nA funny mistake you made\\nSomething you've always wanted to do\\nYour experience doing something offbeat for the first time\\nA story about your family\\n3. Kicking Up Your Social Game\\n3-1. Make an effort to talk to new people.\\nThis is another cornerstone of being friendlier. You may be really shy, or you might just think that new people aren't worth your time. Well, that changes today! Start making conversation with strangers sitting next to you on the plane, people at parties, or friends of friends that you run into. Make sure you read the situation and that the person actually wants to talk to someone new, and then proceed with a big smile on your face.\\nYou don't have to talk to every new person who comes your way, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel.\\nIntroduce yourself to people you don't know. If you're in a group of friends and a new person who other people know comes on the scene, take the initiative.\\n3-2. Give more invitations.\\nPart of being friendlier is showing that you want to spend more time with other people. How do you do that? You invite them to do stuff. Start small by inviting a group of people to a movie, a free concert, or to grab coffee or ice cream some time, and see how much friendlier you feel after they eagerly accept your invitation. Make a goal of inviting people to do more things with you at least once a week and you'll be living a friendlier life.\\nGet brave. Invite acquaintances to hang out one on one and turn your acquaintance into a real friendship.\\nThrow a party. Invite an eclectic crowd of people and have fun introducing them to each other.\\n3-3. Accept more invitations.\\nAnother way to be friendlier is to say yes when people ask you to do stuff. You may be afraid of hanging out with people you don't know that well, or you may be too busy. Maybe you just prefer to hang out with yourself, a bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream, and Snookums, your pet ferret. But you have to get over all that if you want to be friendly. Start accepting people's invitations to go to the movies, dinner, or to a party.\\nYou don't have to say yes to something that sounds completely horrible. But the next time you really want to say no, ask yourself what is behind your impulse. Are you afraid of something new? Socially anxious? Or just feeling lazy? These aren't the greatest reasons to miss out on a good time.\\n3-4. Have a bustling social life.\\nIf you want to be friendlier, then you have to spend more time with your friends. Spending more time around other people will make you be a more socially aware and sensitive person who is used to talking to other people. Try to fill your calendar with parties, social engagements, group hiking, biking, swimming trips, and other fun friend-filled outings if you want to be friendly more regularly.\\nTo have a bustling social life, you have to make your social life a priority. Don't let work, school, or other commitments get in your way -- not too much, at least.\\nIt's important to have a busy social life, but you should also save some time for yourself. You'll need to decompress, especially if you're not used to spending so much time around other people.\\n3-5. Practice being friendlier to people you don't like.\\nThis may be a tough pill to swallow. You don't have to become BFFs with your greatest enemy to work on being friendlier to people in your orbit -- whether it's your uptight math teacher, your crotchety uncle, or that kind-of quiet girl who is on the fringes of your social circle. You'll be surprised by how good you'll feel about being nicer to someone instead of giving them the cold shoulder, and that person may surprise with friendliness in return.\\nMake a list of 5 people that you have always treated sort of coldly. Find ways to be nice to each of these people -- even if you feel they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is a key quality to being friendlier. Holding grudges can make you angry on the inside, and that may affect your attitude on the outside.\\n3-6. Overcome your insecurities.\\nPart of the reason that you may not be the friendliest person in the world might be that you're lacking confidence and think that people will judge you any time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what lies behind your distrust or coldness to other people and see if it has to do more with what you think of yourself. If that's the case, then work on loving the person you are, loving what you do, and addressing the flaws that need some work.\\nOf course, overcoming your insecurities can take years of hard work, but recognizing this as one of the sources of your problem with being friendly can make you be more willing to be nice to others. Remember that they may be just as insecure as you are, maybe more.\\nIf your anxiety about social situations is so severe that it’s interfering with your daily life, you might benefit from talking to a counselor or other mental health professional.\\n3-7. Befriend people of your age and stage.\\n\\\"Age and stage\\\" refers not only to the age of a person, but to the stage of life that person is in. A stage of life could be being a college student, being a young professional, being a middle-aged mother, or being an older person who spends more time alone. Finding people who are around your age and your stage will make you more likely to find time to hang out and will give you more things to talk about.\\nFor example, if you're a young mother, join a young mothers group and you'll be on the way to making some amazing new friends.\\n3-8. Show a genuine interest in people.\\nThis is the key to not just looking friendly, but actually being a friendly person. A real friendly person actually cares about others and wants to make them feel comfortable. A real friendly person is concerned when others are upset and uplifted when others are happy; a real friendly person doesn't talk to people just to look cooler or to have more Facebook friends. If you really want to be friendly, then you have to remember this whenever you talk to people. If you actually care about them -- they will be able to tell.\\nOf course, you can't possibly take an interest in everyone in your orbit. But the more you try to be nice to people, the more natural it will feel.\\nRemember that being friendly has nothing to do with being fake. And that it has everything to do with being more approachable, treating people with respect, and giving off a positive energy.\\n3-9. Surround yourself with friendly people.\\nIt’s easier to be friendly when you spend time with friendly people. Not only will they model the kinds of behaviors that you want to emulate, but you may find that their positive energy and friendly attitudes are contagious!\\nWhen you are around friendly people, others will feel better about approaching you.\\nBeing involved with unfriendly, intimidating or rude people makes others wary about approaching or talking to you. They may fear being confronted by those people, or they may simply assume that you are the same as them because you just hang out with them.\\nTips\\nDon't be shy. Say hello to people you haven't talked to in a while. Just keep in touch; it will be appreciated.\\nLook at yourself in the mirror and think positive thoughts about your appearance. If you like yourself, others will, too.\\nMake a conscious decision to like people you meet. It will produce positive verbal and body language that will bring out the best in people. You will often find that other people are as friendly as you are.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are overly friendly, you could end up seeming just plain creepy. This will just scare people off and will make people have a negative first impression of you.\\nBe careful with your sense of humor. A joke which seems funny to you may not be funny to everyone else. It's very easy to upset someone without realizing it. What you consider a joke or 'banter' can easily be offensive to someone else. This can cause you lots of problems in the work place or in other social settings, such as community club and school.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Friendly people are always excited to meet new people and appear approachable to friends and acquaintances. They are the kind of people who can just start chatting to a person on an airplane, in line at the drugstore, or when they're stuck on the bus. Sound hard? It doesn't have to be. Being friendly is all about making people feel comfortable in your orbit -- like you actually enjoy talking to them. So how do you pull it off?\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Approachable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile more.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to give every person you see a huge grin to be friendlier. However, making a goal to smile at least 30% more on a daily basis, whether you're smiling at people you know, complete strangers, or acquaintances who cross your path, smiling will make you look like a much more approachable, friendly person. Remember when you passed that guy you met that one time and he looked in the other direction and pretended you didn't exist? How did that make you feel? If you want people to feel good about talking to you, then you should smile more at them.\\nYou can also make a goal of smiling more during the course of a conversation.\\nPractice smiling every day, even when you’re by yourself. The act of smiling—even when you’re making yourself smile instead of doing it naturally—causes your brain to release feel-good chemicals and lifts your mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have open body language.\", \"描述\": \"If you want people to feel like you're approachable and open to talking to them, then you have to master open body language. Here are the things that you can do to make people want to talk to you more:\\nKeep your legs together instead of crossed\\nHave good posture instead of slouching\\nKeep your arms at your sides instead of crossing them\\nLean forward toward other people\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rid yourself of distractions.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be friendlier is to notice everything that's going on around you instead of trying to beat the new level of Candy Crush on your iPhone. If you're tapping away at your phone, burying your nose in a book, staring at your computer, or even just picking at the paint on your fingernails, then people will think you have better things to do than to talk to them. Instead, look ahead, smile, and be ready for what the world has to offer you. You'll be surprised by how many more people think you're friendly and how quickly they come your way.\\nTapping away at your cell phone is rude, especially when you're actively engaging in conversation with people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"This is something you should work on whether you're just saying hi to a person who is walking by or talking to someone face-to-face. You don't have to stare into a person's eyes 100% of the time to be friendly, but you should work on making as much eye contact as possible when you're listening to people, so that they feel like you care about them and that they're actually worth your time. When it's your turn to talk, you can look around a bit more.\\nIf you're walking down a hallway and it's just you and another person, why not look that person in the eyes and say hello instead of staring at the floor or pretending to be fascinated by your own fingernails?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Laugh easily.\", \"描述\": \"The ability to laugh easily is another trait of the friendly person. You don't have to laugh at everything a person says, or you may sound fake, but you should make an effort to laugh about 20% more, especially when people are trying to be funny, say something kind of funny, or just when you feel people need a boost of support and confidence. Laughing more will not only give your conversations more of a positive vibe, but the people around you -- even the people who are just walking by -- will see you as a friendlier person.\\nLaughing and smiling more? Now that's a potent combo.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mastering Friendly Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Master small talk.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing how to make small talk will go a long way in making you friendlier. Maybe you have a hard time making small talk because you're too busy, distracted, or just shy. But it's not as hard as it sounds. All you have to do is make the person feel comfortable, find some common ground, and reveal a little bit about yourself. If you get more comfortable, then you can start digging deeper and discuss more personal issues.\\nSome people think that small talk is completely superficial, but it's not. All good friendships and relationships start out with a bit of small talk. You can't just jump in and talk to a new person about the meaning of life, can you?\\nYou can even make small talk with the checkout person just to be nice. Make a comment about the weather, say something about the addicting tasty guacamole you're buying, or compliment that person's jewelry. It'll make you feel more positive and it'll make your day go by faster.\\nJust like any skill, it takes practice to get good at small talk. Make an effort to practice small talk as often as possible throughout your day. You might start by asking a question (“Have you read this book? Is it any good?”) or commenting on something in your environment (“Wow, the flowers are really blooming! I’m so glad it’s finally spring.”).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask people questions about themselves.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be friendly, then you have to show a real interest in people. They have to see that you really care about who they are, what they think, and what they do. If you want to be friendly, then you have to ask people a variety of simple questions that show them you care. You shouldn't ask anything too personal or they might get offended, though; stick to some of the same topics first and move on from there once you know them better. Here are some great topics to try:\\nPets\\nFavorite sports teams\\nFavorite hobbies\\nFavorite bands, books, or movies\\nFavorite food, drink\\nSiblings\\nWeekend trips\\nSchool or work\\nWhat they’re trying to achieve in life\\nFavorite vacations or where they would like to travel to\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment others.\", \"描述\": \"Complimenting people -- when you mean it -- will make you seem and feel like a much friendlier person. Just a small compliment given at the right time will make people think, \\\"They’re really nice!\\\" and will make them feel more comfortable and happy to be in your presence. You don't have to compliment anything too serious, especially at first, and you can just say something nice about the person's jewelry, outfit, haircut, or even say that the person has a great sense of humor.\\nWhen you're talking to someone, ask yourself, what's one awesome quality this person has that I would like to compliment? You should come up with one pretty quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use people's names when you talk to them.\", \"描述\": \"This is a simple yet effective trick to making people like you more and to seem friendlier. If you use people's names, you show them that you care about them and that you can really distinguish them as individuals. You don't have to overdo it to get the point across. Just saying, \\\"Hi, Ellen!\\\" when you greet the person, or saying, \\\"You're completely right about that, Ashley,\\\" in the course of a conversation will make you seem like a friendlier person.\\nIf a person you've just met tells you their name, using it once or twice throughout your conversation will make you remember it for next time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know when you're giving people the cold shoulder.\", \"描述\": \"Some people are unfriendly without even realizing it. If someone has given you a big \\\"Hi!\\\" and is approaching you while slowing down, this is because that person wants to talk to you; if you just say \\\"hey,\\\" and keep walking, then you'll look rude. You may think that you're just giving off a neutral or a busy vibe, but that may often come off as unfriendly.\\nIf you don't hold doors for people or smile at them when they smile at you, and avoid looking in the direction of people you don't know even if they're standing right next to you, then you'll look rude without even knowing it.\\nA little common courtesy and good manners can go a long way toward helping you connect with others. Just saying “thank you” or opening a door for someone can brighten their day or even lead to a friendly conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positive topics.\", \"描述\": \"When you are talking to people, try to stick to the uplifting stuff. Instead of complaining about work or school, talking about something bad that happened to you, or just generally being negative, mention something awesome that happened to you that week, something you're looking forward to, or even something funny you saw on TV. Talking about more positive topics will make you seem friendlier in everyday conversation because you'll seem like a fun, upbeat person that other people want to talk to.\\nYou don't have to pretend to be someone else to avoid discussing unpleasant topics throughout the course of a conversation.\\nTry to avoid controversial topics, like religion or politics.\\nSure, if something terrible happened to you or if you really feel like griping, go for it. But try to say at least 3 positive things for every 1 negative thing so you still seem like a positive person.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Open up.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being friendly is making yourself a little bit vulnerable and sharing something about yourself with others. You don't have to reveal your deepest, darkest secrets. Mentioning something slightly embarrassing, goofy, or just offbeat will have a winning effect on people and will make them think that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you're comfortable talking to other people. Here are some things you can open up about:\\nChildhood pets\\nWacky vacations\\nA prank you played on your sibling\\nA funny mistake you made\\nSomething you've always wanted to do\\nYour experience doing something offbeat for the first time\\nA story about your family\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Kicking Up Your Social Game\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to talk to new people.\", \"描述\": \"This is another cornerstone of being friendlier. You may be really shy, or you might just think that new people aren't worth your time. Well, that changes today! Start making conversation with strangers sitting next to you on the plane, people at parties, or friends of friends that you run into. Make sure you read the situation and that the person actually wants to talk to someone new, and then proceed with a big smile on your face.\\nYou don't have to talk to every new person who comes your way, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel.\\nIntroduce yourself to people you don't know. If you're in a group of friends and a new person who other people know comes on the scene, take the initiative.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give more invitations.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being friendlier is showing that you want to spend more time with other people. How do you do that? You invite them to do stuff. Start small by inviting a group of people to a movie, a free concert, or to grab coffee or ice cream some time, and see how much friendlier you feel after they eagerly accept your invitation. Make a goal of inviting people to do more things with you at least once a week and you'll be living a friendlier life.\\nGet brave. Invite acquaintances to hang out one on one and turn your acquaintance into a real friendship.\\nThrow a party. Invite an eclectic crowd of people and have fun introducing them to each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept more invitations.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be friendlier is to say yes when people ask you to do stuff. You may be afraid of hanging out with people you don't know that well, or you may be too busy. Maybe you just prefer to hang out with yourself, a bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream, and Snookums, your pet ferret. But you have to get over all that if you want to be friendly. Start accepting people's invitations to go to the movies, dinner, or to a party.\\nYou don't have to say yes to something that sounds completely horrible. But the next time you really want to say no, ask yourself what is behind your impulse. Are you afraid of something new? Socially anxious? Or just feeling lazy? These aren't the greatest reasons to miss out on a good time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a bustling social life.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be friendlier, then you have to spend more time with your friends. Spending more time around other people will make you be a more socially aware and sensitive person who is used to talking to other people. Try to fill your calendar with parties, social engagements, group hiking, biking, swimming trips, and other fun friend-filled outings if you want to be friendly more regularly.\\nTo have a bustling social life, you have to make your social life a priority. Don't let work, school, or other commitments get in your way -- not too much, at least.\\nIt's important to have a busy social life, but you should also save some time for yourself. You'll need to decompress, especially if you're not used to spending so much time around other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice being friendlier to people you don't like.\", \"描述\": \"This may be a tough pill to swallow. You don't have to become BFFs with your greatest enemy to work on being friendlier to people in your orbit -- whether it's your uptight math teacher, your crotchety uncle, or that kind-of quiet girl who is on the fringes of your social circle. You'll be surprised by how good you'll feel about being nicer to someone instead of giving them the cold shoulder, and that person may surprise with friendliness in return.\\nMake a list of 5 people that you have always treated sort of coldly. Find ways to be nice to each of these people -- even if you feel they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is a key quality to being friendlier. Holding grudges can make you angry on the inside, and that may affect your attitude on the outside.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Overcome your insecurities.\", \"描述\": \"Part of the reason that you may not be the friendliest person in the world might be that you're lacking confidence and think that people will judge you any time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what lies behind your distrust or coldness to other people and see if it has to do more with what you think of yourself. If that's the case, then work on loving the person you are, loving what you do, and addressing the flaws that need some work.\\nOf course, overcoming your insecurities can take years of hard work, but recognizing this as one of the sources of your problem with being friendly can make you be more willing to be nice to others. Remember that they may be just as insecure as you are, maybe more.\\nIf your anxiety about social situations is so severe that it’s interfering with your daily life, you might benefit from talking to a counselor or other mental health professional.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Befriend people of your age and stage.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Age and stage\\\" refers not only to the age of a person, but to the stage of life that person is in. A stage of life could be being a college student, being a young professional, being a middle-aged mother, or being an older person who spends more time alone. Finding people who are around your age and your stage will make you more likely to find time to hang out and will give you more things to talk about.\\nFor example, if you're a young mother, join a young mothers group and you'll be on the way to making some amazing new friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Show a genuine interest in people.\", \"描述\": \"This is the key to not just looking friendly, but actually being a friendly person. A real friendly person actually cares about others and wants to make them feel comfortable. A real friendly person is concerned when others are upset and uplifted when others are happy; a real friendly person doesn't talk to people just to look cooler or to have more Facebook friends. If you really want to be friendly, then you have to remember this whenever you talk to people. If you actually care about them -- they will be able to tell.\\nOf course, you can't possibly take an interest in everyone in your orbit. But the more you try to be nice to people, the more natural it will feel.\\nRemember that being friendly has nothing to do with being fake. And that it has everything to do with being more approachable, treating people with respect, and giving off a positive energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with friendly people.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easier to be friendly when you spend time with friendly people. Not only will they model the kinds of behaviors that you want to emulate, but you may find that their positive energy and friendly attitudes are contagious!\\nWhen you are around friendly people, others will feel better about approaching you.\\nBeing involved with unfriendly, intimidating or rude people makes others wary about approaching or talking to you. They may fear being confronted by those people, or they may simply assume that you are the same as them because you just hang out with them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be shy. Say hello to people you haven't talked to in a while. Just keep in touch; it will be appreciated.\\n\", \"Look at yourself in the mirror and think positive thoughts about your appearance. If you like yourself, others will, too.\\n\", \"Make a conscious decision to like people you meet. It will produce positive verbal and body language that will bring out the best in people. You will often find that other people are as friendly as you are.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are overly friendly, you could end up seeming just plain creepy. This will just scare people off and will make people have a negative first impression of you.\\n\", \"Be careful with your sense of humor. A joke which seems funny to you may not be funny to everyone else. It's very easy to upset someone without realizing it. What you consider a joke or 'banter' can easily be offensive to someone else. This can cause you lots of problems in the work place or in other social settings, such as community club and school.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,722 | How to Be Friendly to Your Pokémon in Omega Ruby or Alpha Sapphire | 1. Steps
1-1. If you haven't already, catch the Pokémon that you want to train.
Use a Luxury Ball, as these increase the friendship of the caught Pokémon more quickly. If you already have a Pokémon you want to train, move on to the next step.
1-2. Level up your Pokémon.
Leveling up your Pokémon will increase the friendship so battle frequently.
1-3. Give the Pokémon a Soothe Bell as their held item.
It makes them more friendly.
1-4. Keep the Pokémon on your team and walk or ride your bike a lot.
Sometimes, but not all the time, taking steps increases the friendship between you and your Pokémon.
1-5. Don't let the Pokémon faint!
When they faint, they lose some friendship. If their HP is low, it is best to switch. If you are using Experience Share, you might not have to battle with them as much, and they will still gain a portion of the experience earned by other team members.
1-6. Don't use the herbal medicines.
Pokémon don't like the bitter taste of these medicines and it will make them lose friendship. Instead, use other items, such as potions and revives.
1-7. Give the Pokémon a massage.
There is a lady in Mauville City who will give one free massage a day to the leader of your party. Additionally, your friends in your secret base, depending on their trainer class, may be able to give massages as well.
1-8. Some Pokémon need to evolve at a certain time.
For example, Eevee turns into Umbreon only at night. But don't wait until dark to start training or you'll be up all night! Instead, start during the day and if it tries to evolve before 9:00 PM, hit the B button for an evolution cancel.
1-9. Follow all these steps to help make your Pokémon friendly, and at last, enjoy your newly evolved Pokémon!
Tips
Remember, they need to level up when they have high friendship.
Not all Pokémon need friendship to evolve, but it's always a good idea to form bonds with them.
This only works on the Pokémon that need friendship to evolve. Others will do it when they reach their own individual requirements, such as being traded, reaching a certain level, or being exposed to certain stones.
Warnings
If you want Eevee to turn into Umbreon, do not let it evolve before 9:00 PM or it will become Espeon!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. If you haven't already, catch the Pokémon that you want to train.\\nUse a Luxury Ball, as these increase the friendship of the caught Pokémon more quickly. If you already have a Pokémon you want to train, move on to the next step.\\n1-2. Level up your Pokémon.\\nLeveling up your Pokémon will increase the friendship so battle frequently.\\n1-3. Give the Pokémon a Soothe Bell as their held item.\\nIt makes them more friendly.\\n1-4. Keep the Pokémon on your team and walk or ride your bike a lot.\\nSometimes, but not all the time, taking steps increases the friendship between you and your Pokémon.\\n1-5. Don't let the Pokémon faint!\\nWhen they faint, they lose some friendship. If their HP is low, it is best to switch. If you are using Experience Share, you might not have to battle with them as much, and they will still gain a portion of the experience earned by other team members.\\n1-6. Don't use the herbal medicines.\\nPokémon don't like the bitter taste of these medicines and it will make them lose friendship. Instead, use other items, such as potions and revives.\\n1-7. Give the Pokémon a massage.\\nThere is a lady in Mauville City who will give one free massage a day to the leader of your party. Additionally, your friends in your secret base, depending on their trainer class, may be able to give massages as well.\\n1-8. Some Pokémon need to evolve at a certain time.\\nFor example, Eevee turns into Umbreon only at night. But don't wait until dark to start training or you'll be up all night! Instead, start during the day and if it tries to evolve before 9:00 PM, hit the B button for an evolution cancel.\\n1-9. Follow all these steps to help make your Pokémon friendly, and at last, enjoy your newly evolved Pokémon!\\n\\nTips\\nRemember, they need to level up when they have high friendship.\\nNot all Pokémon need friendship to evolve, but it's always a good idea to form bonds with them.\\nThis only works on the Pokémon that need friendship to evolve. Others will do it when they reach their own individual requirements, such as being traded, reaching a certain level, or being exposed to certain stones.\\nWarnings\\nIf you want Eevee to turn into Umbreon, do not let it evolve before 9:00 PM or it will become Espeon!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some Pokémon need high friendship to evolve to their final form. Here are some tips on increasing friendship with your Pokémon.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you haven't already, catch the Pokémon that you want to train.\", \"描述\": \"Use a Luxury Ball, as these increase the friendship of the caught Pokémon more quickly. If you already have a Pokémon you want to train, move on to the next step.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Level up your Pokémon.\", \"描述\": \"Leveling up your Pokémon will increase the friendship so battle frequently.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give the Pokémon a Soothe Bell as their held item.\", \"描述\": \"It makes them more friendly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the Pokémon on your team and walk or ride your bike a lot.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, but not all the time, taking steps increases the friendship between you and your Pokémon.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't let the Pokémon faint!\", \"描述\": \"When they faint, they lose some friendship. If their HP is low, it is best to switch. If you are using Experience Share, you might not have to battle with them as much, and they will still gain a portion of the experience earned by other team members.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't use the herbal medicines.\", \"描述\": \"Pokémon don't like the bitter taste of these medicines and it will make them lose friendship. Instead, use other items, such as potions and revives.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give the Pokémon a massage.\", \"描述\": \"There is a lady in Mauville City who will give one free massage a day to the leader of your party. Additionally, your friends in your secret base, depending on their trainer class, may be able to give massages as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Some Pokémon need to evolve at a certain time.\", \"描述\": \"For example, Eevee turns into Umbreon only at night. But don't wait until dark to start training or you'll be up all night! Instead, start during the day and if it tries to evolve before 9:00 PM, hit the B button for an evolution cancel.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Follow all these steps to help make your Pokémon friendly, and at last, enjoy your newly evolved Pokémon!\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember, they need to level up when they have high friendship.\\n\", \"Not all Pokémon need friendship to evolve, but it's always a good idea to form bonds with them.\\n\", \"This only works on the Pokémon that need friendship to evolve. Others will do it when they reach their own individual requirements, such as being traded, reaching a certain level, or being exposed to certain stones.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you want Eevee to turn into Umbreon, do not let it evolve before 9:00 PM or it will become Espeon!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,723 | How to Be Friends After a Bad Breakup | 1. Give each other time and space.
You’ll both need time to heal after a bad breakup.
There’s a good chance you’ll both be feeling some hurt, confusion, and resentment for a while after you split. Before you approach your ex about being friends, take some time apart. It might even be wise to cut off contact completely for a few months, it that’s an option.
If you follow them on social media, unfollow or unfriend them for a while. If you’re not constantly reminded of them and the pain of the breakup, it will be easier to heal and start feeling better.
There’s no magic formula for knowing when it’s time to get in touch again. Do some soul-searching and ask yourself how you’re feeling about things. There’s also a chance your ex will need more time than you do, or vice versa—and that’s totally okay.
2. Apologize to each other.
A sincere apology can help you both heal.
If you and your ex had a bad breakup, there are bound to be hurt feelings on both sides. Your friendship will have a much better chance of working if you acknowledge your role in what went wrong. Apologize to your ex in person next time you meet, or write your feelings down in a letter or email. If your ex did anything really hurtful to you, they should also apologize—you shouldn’t be the only one making an effort! Your apology will have the most impact if you:
Tell your ex how you feel. Say something like, “I’m so sorry for how my actions hurt you,” or “I really regret the way I behaved.”
Acknowledge what you did and the impact it had. For instance, you could say, “I know I wasn’t always there for you, and that really hurt your feelings.”
Let them know how you plan to make things right. This could be as simple as saying something like, “I’m learning to be a better listener” or “I’m done with losing my temper like that. I’ve started learning some anger management skills.”
3. Work on forgiving your ex.
Letting go of resentment will make friendship easier.
Start by acknowledging how your ex hurt you and how you feel about it. It’s okay to have those feelings—focus on accepting them instead of pushing them away. Then, try to look at your ex empathetically. What kinds of painful experiences in their life might have contributed to their behavior? Finally, think about what you have learned from your experiences with them and how you can grow from that knowledge going forward.
Forgiving your ex doesn’t mean excusing or condoning the bad things they did. It just means letting go of resentment and accepting what happened so you can move on.
For example, if your ex cheated on you, you might say to yourself, “That was a real betrayal of my trust, and I still feel hurt and upset about it. I can’t excuse what happened, but I recognize that they were dealing with their insecurity in unhealthy ways. In the future, I’ll be more aware of the red flags that my partner is being unfaithful.”
Avoid bringing up things that your ex did in the past or fixating on whose fault it was that your relationship fell apart. Focusing on blame and resentment will make it very hard to have a healthy friendship.
4. Ask your ex if they want to stay friends.
Send your ex a message or give them a call.
Say something like, “Hey, I know we left things on a bad note, but I want you to know I still really care about you. Do you think we could still be friends?” Be clear about your expectations—make sure they understand that you’re interested in a friendship, not in rekindling the romance.
If you’re worried that they might get the wrong impression, say something like, “We don’t really work as a couple, but I think we could be good friends. Is it okay if we still keep in touch?”
Be careful not to assume that your ex is interested in friendship. Being rejected a second time after a rough breakup can be really painful, but it’s important to respect their answer and not be pushy if they say “no.”
5. Set healthy boundaries.
Agree on some ground rules for your friendship.
These might include things like promising not to talk every day or agreeing that sex is off-limits. These boundaries will help you define your friendship and keep you from falling into the same old patterns that caused your relationship to blow up in the first place.
Expect your ex to respect your boundaries, and try to do the same for them. It’s okay if one of you slips up now and then, but whoever messed up should apologize and make a sincere effort not to do it again.
Set some clear consequences for your ex if they cross your boundaries, and do your best to follow through on them. For example, “Hey, remember how we agreed we wouldn’t talk about old fights when we spend time together? If this stuff keeps coming up, we’re going to need to take a break from hanging out for a few weeks.”
6. Take it slow.
You and your ex will have lots of complicated feelings to work through.
Don’t jump right into spending a ton of time together. You’ll both still need space to process things, and hanging out too much right away could open up old wounds. Keep your contact casual at first, and try to space out how often you meet or contact each other.
For instance, you might start by just texting each other once a week or getting together for lunch every couple of months.
Spending too much time together right away could also make it harder to draw clear boundaries between your new friendship and your old romantic relationship.
7. Communicate openly and honestly.
Good communication is key in any friendship.
Be open with your ex about how you’re feeling and what’s on your mind. At the same time, be an active listener and make an effort to really absorb and understand what they’re saying to you. When you’re talking to your ex, do your best to:
Listen to what they’re saying without interrupting, judging, or planning how to respond.
Ask questions about how they’re doing and show a genuine interest in their answers.
Be honest and assertive about your own wants and needs. For example, you might say things like, “I’m feeling a little bit down about what happened between us. I think I need space for a few days.”
Recognize and validate their thoughts and feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. For instance, “I understand you’re a bit upset that I didn’t call you yesterday. I just got really busy with work. Next time I’ll send you a text if something comes up on a day when we were planning to chat.”
8. Check your feelings about the friendship.
Ask yourself if the relationship is improving your life.
If being friends with your ex is causing you a lot of stress, or if you’re constantly struggling to get along and respect each other’s boundaries, stop and reassess. You might ultimately decide that it’s better to let go and move on from the friendship—and that’s totally okay!
If you’re feeling conflicted, ask yourself why you still want to be friends with them. If you realize that you’re only staying in touch because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, for example, then it might be time to consider moving on.
If your ex has a history of abusive or manipulative behavior, or if they consistently refuse to respect your boundaries, it’s best to cut off contact. This can be really hard to do, but remember that you’ll ultimately be better off without them in your life.
9. Focus on other areas of your life.
A healthy friendship allows room for other things.
And whether or not you end up staying friends after the breakup, working on other aspects of your life is an important part of healing. As you move on from the pain of the breakup, focus on spending time with other friends and family, doing things you enjoy, and caring for your health.
If you and your ex are hanging out a lot as friends, make an effort to intentionally schedule time apart from them. For example, you might go to the movies with another friend, go for walks by yourself, or sign up for a class and try to meet new people who share your interests.
When you’ve been wrapped up in a romantic relationship for a long time, it can take a while to figure out who you are when you’re on your own. Embrace the chance to learn more about who you are and what’s really important to you.
10. Go your separate ways if it isn’t working out.
Sometimes friendship isn’t possible, and that’s okay.
Staying friends with an ex takes a lot of patience and effort, and you both have to work really hard at it. Maybe there’s a lot of unresolved hurt and resentment, or you’ve grown apart enough that you don’t have much in common anymore. If it’s just not working, sit down and have an honest talk with your ex. Let them know that you don’t feel that the friendship can continue.
Say something like, “I’ll always care about you, but I just don’t think we can make this friendship work. I still feel really hurt by what happened in our past, and I think it will be better for both of us if we move on.”
It might also be a good idea to step back from the friendship if you feel that it’s holding you back from other things—like starting a new romantic relationship.
Tips
A friendship needs to be two-sided to work, just like a romantic relationship. If you feel like you’re the only one putting any effort into the friendship, it’s probably time to move on.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Give each other time and space.\\nYou’ll both need time to heal after a bad breakup.\\nThere’s a good chance you’ll both be feeling some hurt, confusion, and resentment for a while after you split. Before you approach your ex about being friends, take some time apart. It might even be wise to cut off contact completely for a few months, it that’s an option.\\nIf you follow them on social media, unfollow or unfriend them for a while. If you’re not constantly reminded of them and the pain of the breakup, it will be easier to heal and start feeling better.\\nThere’s no magic formula for knowing when it’s time to get in touch again. Do some soul-searching and ask yourself how you’re feeling about things. There’s also a chance your ex will need more time than you do, or vice versa—and that’s totally okay.\\n2. Apologize to each other.\\nA sincere apology can help you both heal.\\nIf you and your ex had a bad breakup, there are bound to be hurt feelings on both sides. Your friendship will have a much better chance of working if you acknowledge your role in what went wrong. Apologize to your ex in person next time you meet, or write your feelings down in a letter or email. If your ex did anything really hurtful to you, they should also apologize—you shouldn’t be the only one making an effort! Your apology will have the most impact if you:\\nTell your ex how you feel. Say something like, “I’m so sorry for how my actions hurt you,” or “I really regret the way I behaved.”\\nAcknowledge what you did and the impact it had. For instance, you could say, “I know I wasn’t always there for you, and that really hurt your feelings.”\\nLet them know how you plan to make things right. This could be as simple as saying something like, “I’m learning to be a better listener” or “I’m done with losing my temper like that. I’ve started learning some anger management skills.”\\n3. Work on forgiving your ex.\\nLetting go of resentment will make friendship easier.\\nStart by acknowledging how your ex hurt you and how you feel about it. It’s okay to have those feelings—focus on accepting them instead of pushing them away. Then, try to look at your ex empathetically. What kinds of painful experiences in their life might have contributed to their behavior? Finally, think about what you have learned from your experiences with them and how you can grow from that knowledge going forward.\\nForgiving your ex doesn’t mean excusing or condoning the bad things they did. It just means letting go of resentment and accepting what happened so you can move on.\\nFor example, if your ex cheated on you, you might say to yourself, “That was a real betrayal of my trust, and I still feel hurt and upset about it. I can’t excuse what happened, but I recognize that they were dealing with their insecurity in unhealthy ways. In the future, I’ll be more aware of the red flags that my partner is being unfaithful.”\\nAvoid bringing up things that your ex did in the past or fixating on whose fault it was that your relationship fell apart. Focusing on blame and resentment will make it very hard to have a healthy friendship.\\n4. Ask your ex if they want to stay friends.\\nSend your ex a message or give them a call.\\nSay something like, “Hey, I know we left things on a bad note, but I want you to know I still really care about you. Do you think we could still be friends?” Be clear about your expectations—make sure they understand that you’re interested in a friendship, not in rekindling the romance.\\nIf you’re worried that they might get the wrong impression, say something like, “We don’t really work as a couple, but I think we could be good friends. Is it okay if we still keep in touch?”\\nBe careful not to assume that your ex is interested in friendship. Being rejected a second time after a rough breakup can be really painful, but it’s important to respect their answer and not be pushy if they say “no.”\\n5. Set healthy boundaries.\\nAgree on some ground rules for your friendship.\\nThese might include things like promising not to talk every day or agreeing that sex is off-limits. These boundaries will help you define your friendship and keep you from falling into the same old patterns that caused your relationship to blow up in the first place.\\nExpect your ex to respect your boundaries, and try to do the same for them. It’s okay if one of you slips up now and then, but whoever messed up should apologize and make a sincere effort not to do it again.\\nSet some clear consequences for your ex if they cross your boundaries, and do your best to follow through on them. For example, “Hey, remember how we agreed we wouldn’t talk about old fights when we spend time together? If this stuff keeps coming up, we’re going to need to take a break from hanging out for a few weeks.”\\n6. Take it slow.\\nYou and your ex will have lots of complicated feelings to work through.\\nDon’t jump right into spending a ton of time together. You’ll both still need space to process things, and hanging out too much right away could open up old wounds. Keep your contact casual at first, and try to space out how often you meet or contact each other.\\nFor instance, you might start by just texting each other once a week or getting together for lunch every couple of months.\\nSpending too much time together right away could also make it harder to draw clear boundaries between your new friendship and your old romantic relationship.\\n7. Communicate openly and honestly.\\nGood communication is key in any friendship.\\nBe open with your ex about how you’re feeling and what’s on your mind. At the same time, be an active listener and make an effort to really absorb and understand what they’re saying to you. When you’re talking to your ex, do your best to:\\nListen to what they’re saying without interrupting, judging, or planning how to respond.\\nAsk questions about how they’re doing and show a genuine interest in their answers.\\nBe honest and assertive about your own wants and needs. For example, you might say things like, “I’m feeling a little bit down about what happened between us. I think I need space for a few days.”\\nRecognize and validate their thoughts and feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. For instance, “I understand you’re a bit upset that I didn’t call you yesterday. I just got really busy with work. Next time I’ll send you a text if something comes up on a day when we were planning to chat.”\\n8. Check your feelings about the friendship.\\nAsk yourself if the relationship is improving your life.\\nIf being friends with your ex is causing you a lot of stress, or if you’re constantly struggling to get along and respect each other’s boundaries, stop and reassess. You might ultimately decide that it’s better to let go and move on from the friendship—and that’s totally okay!\\nIf you’re feeling conflicted, ask yourself why you still want to be friends with them. If you realize that you’re only staying in touch because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, for example, then it might be time to consider moving on.\\nIf your ex has a history of abusive or manipulative behavior, or if they consistently refuse to respect your boundaries, it’s best to cut off contact. This can be really hard to do, but remember that you’ll ultimately be better off without them in your life.\\n9. Focus on other areas of your life.\\nA healthy friendship allows room for other things.\\nAnd whether or not you end up staying friends after the breakup, working on other aspects of your life is an important part of healing. As you move on from the pain of the breakup, focus on spending time with other friends and family, doing things you enjoy, and caring for your health.\\nIf you and your ex are hanging out a lot as friends, make an effort to intentionally schedule time apart from them. For example, you might go to the movies with another friend, go for walks by yourself, or sign up for a class and try to meet new people who share your interests.\\nWhen you’ve been wrapped up in a romantic relationship for a long time, it can take a while to figure out who you are when you’re on your own. Embrace the chance to learn more about who you are and what’s really important to you.\\n10. Go your separate ways if it isn’t working out.\\nSometimes friendship isn’t possible, and that’s okay.\\nStaying friends with an ex takes a lot of patience and effort, and you both have to work really hard at it. Maybe there’s a lot of unresolved hurt and resentment, or you’ve grown apart enough that you don’t have much in common anymore. If it’s just not working, sit down and have an honest talk with your ex. Let them know that you don’t feel that the friendship can continue.\\nSay something like, “I’ll always care about you, but I just don’t think we can make this friendship work. I still feel really hurt by what happened in our past, and I think it will be better for both of us if we move on.”\\nIt might also be a good idea to step back from the friendship if you feel that it’s holding you back from other things—like starting a new romantic relationship.\\nTips\\nA friendship needs to be two-sided to work, just like a romantic relationship. If you feel like you’re the only one putting any effort into the friendship, it’s probably time to move on.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’ve just gone through a bad breakup, you might feel pretty discouraged about having any kind of future with your ex. But the good news is, friendship is still possible—if you’re both willing to work hard at it. We’ll walk you through a few tips to help you move forward and have a healthy friendship with your ex, even if things ended on a bad note.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give each other time and space.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’ll both need time to heal after a bad breakup.\", \"描述\": \"There’s a good chance you’ll both be feeling some hurt, confusion, and resentment for a while after you split. Before you approach your ex about being friends, take some time apart. It might even be wise to cut off contact completely for a few months, it that’s an option.\\nIf you follow them on social media, unfollow or unfriend them for a while. If you’re not constantly reminded of them and the pain of the breakup, it will be easier to heal and start feeling better.\\nThere’s no magic formula for knowing when it’s time to get in touch again. Do some soul-searching and ask yourself how you’re feeling about things. There’s also a chance your ex will need more time than you do, or vice versa—and that’s totally okay.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologize to each other.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A sincere apology can help you both heal.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your ex had a bad breakup, there are bound to be hurt feelings on both sides. Your friendship will have a much better chance of working if you acknowledge your role in what went wrong. Apologize to your ex in person next time you meet, or write your feelings down in a letter or email. If your ex did anything really hurtful to you, they should also apologize—you shouldn’t be the only one making an effort! Your apology will have the most impact if you:\\nTell your ex how you feel. Say something like, “I’m so sorry for how my actions hurt you,” or “I really regret the way I behaved.”\\nAcknowledge what you did and the impact it had. For instance, you could say, “I know I wasn’t always there for you, and that really hurt your feelings.”\\nLet them know how you plan to make things right. This could be as simple as saying something like, “I’m learning to be a better listener” or “I’m done with losing my temper like that. I’ve started learning some anger management skills.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on forgiving your ex.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Letting go of resentment will make friendship easier.\", \"描述\": \"Start by acknowledging how your ex hurt you and how you feel about it. It’s okay to have those feelings—focus on accepting them instead of pushing them away. Then, try to look at your ex empathetically. What kinds of painful experiences in their life might have contributed to their behavior? Finally, think about what you have learned from your experiences with them and how you can grow from that knowledge going forward.\\nForgiving your ex doesn’t mean excusing or condoning the bad things they did. It just means letting go of resentment and accepting what happened so you can move on.\\nFor example, if your ex cheated on you, you might say to yourself, “That was a real betrayal of my trust, and I still feel hurt and upset about it. I can’t excuse what happened, but I recognize that they were dealing with their insecurity in unhealthy ways. In the future, I’ll be more aware of the red flags that my partner is being unfaithful.”\\nAvoid bringing up things that your ex did in the past or fixating on whose fault it was that your relationship fell apart. Focusing on blame and resentment will make it very hard to have a healthy friendship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask your ex if they want to stay friends.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send your ex a message or give them a call.\", \"描述\": \"Say something like, “Hey, I know we left things on a bad note, but I want you to know I still really care about you. Do you think we could still be friends?” Be clear about your expectations—make sure they understand that you’re interested in a friendship, not in rekindling the romance.\\nIf you’re worried that they might get the wrong impression, say something like, “We don’t really work as a couple, but I think we could be good friends. Is it okay if we still keep in touch?”\\nBe careful not to assume that your ex is interested in friendship. Being rejected a second time after a rough breakup can be really painful, but it’s important to respect their answer and not be pushy if they say “no.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set healthy boundaries.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Agree on some ground rules for your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"These might include things like promising not to talk every day or agreeing that sex is off-limits. These boundaries will help you define your friendship and keep you from falling into the same old patterns that caused your relationship to blow up in the first place.\\nExpect your ex to respect your boundaries, and try to do the same for them. It’s okay if one of you slips up now and then, but whoever messed up should apologize and make a sincere effort not to do it again.\\nSet some clear consequences for your ex if they cross your boundaries, and do your best to follow through on them. For example, “Hey, remember how we agreed we wouldn’t talk about old fights when we spend time together? If this stuff keeps coming up, we’re going to need to take a break from hanging out for a few weeks.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take it slow.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You and your ex will have lots of complicated feelings to work through.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t jump right into spending a ton of time together. You’ll both still need space to process things, and hanging out too much right away could open up old wounds. Keep your contact casual at first, and try to space out how often you meet or contact each other.\\nFor instance, you might start by just texting each other once a week or getting together for lunch every couple of months.\\nSpending too much time together right away could also make it harder to draw clear boundaries between your new friendship and your old romantic relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Communicate openly and honestly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Good communication is key in any friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Be open with your ex about how you’re feeling and what’s on your mind. At the same time, be an active listener and make an effort to really absorb and understand what they’re saying to you. When you’re talking to your ex, do your best to:\\nListen to what they’re saying without interrupting, judging, or planning how to respond.\\nAsk questions about how they’re doing and show a genuine interest in their answers.\\nBe honest and assertive about your own wants and needs. For example, you might say things like, “I’m feeling a little bit down about what happened between us. I think I need space for a few days.”\\nRecognize and validate their thoughts and feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. For instance, “I understand you’re a bit upset that I didn’t call you yesterday. I just got really busy with work. Next time I’ll send you a text if something comes up on a day when we were planning to chat.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Check your feelings about the friendship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if the relationship is improving your life.\", \"描述\": \"If being friends with your ex is causing you a lot of stress, or if you’re constantly struggling to get along and respect each other’s boundaries, stop and reassess. You might ultimately decide that it’s better to let go and move on from the friendship—and that’s totally okay!\\nIf you’re feeling conflicted, ask yourself why you still want to be friends with them. If you realize that you’re only staying in touch because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, for example, then it might be time to consider moving on.\\nIf your ex has a history of abusive or manipulative behavior, or if they consistently refuse to respect your boundaries, it’s best to cut off contact. This can be really hard to do, but remember that you’ll ultimately be better off without them in your life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Focus on other areas of your life.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A healthy friendship allows room for other things.\", \"描述\": \"And whether or not you end up staying friends after the breakup, working on other aspects of your life is an important part of healing. As you move on from the pain of the breakup, focus on spending time with other friends and family, doing things you enjoy, and caring for your health.\\nIf you and your ex are hanging out a lot as friends, make an effort to intentionally schedule time apart from them. For example, you might go to the movies with another friend, go for walks by yourself, or sign up for a class and try to meet new people who share your interests.\\nWhen you’ve been wrapped up in a romantic relationship for a long time, it can take a while to figure out who you are when you’re on your own. Embrace the chance to learn more about who you are and what’s really important to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Go your separate ways if it isn’t working out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes friendship isn’t possible, and that’s okay.\", \"描述\": \"Staying friends with an ex takes a lot of patience and effort, and you both have to work really hard at it. Maybe there’s a lot of unresolved hurt and resentment, or you’ve grown apart enough that you don’t have much in common anymore. If it’s just not working, sit down and have an honest talk with your ex. Let them know that you don’t feel that the friendship can continue.\\nSay something like, “I’ll always care about you, but I just don’t think we can make this friendship work. I still feel really hurt by what happened in our past, and I think it will be better for both of us if we move on.”\\nIt might also be a good idea to step back from the friendship if you feel that it’s holding you back from other things—like starting a new romantic relationship.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"A friendship needs to be two-sided to work, just like a romantic relationship. If you feel like you’re the only one putting any effort into the friendship, it’s probably time to move on.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,724 | How to Be Friends After a Breakup | 1. Getting Through the Breakup
1-1. Break up in a civil way.
If you're going to remain friends, you can't have a dramatic, no-holds-barred breakup. When you're breaking up with each other, you need to resolve any major issues without slinging mud and hatred at each other.
That doesn't mean that you need to breakup without any sadness. Of course you're both going to be upset and sad. It's hard to let go of something so important to your life. However, it does mean that you need to be respectful of each other to the end.
Before deciding if you want to be friends, consider how you broke up. If you were constantly fighting, didn't like to be together, and stopped having good conversations, you may not want to continue any kind of relationship.
1-2. Take some time apart, especially on social media.
Once you break up with each other, you need to take some time away from each other. You can't just jump from being lovey-dovey to being friends. You can't rush this period; each of you has to be ready to move into a different type of relationship. There is no set amount of time to determine how long the transition to friendship will take because it is unique to every situation and each person involved.
Mute their posts on social media or unfollow them for a while.
Try to go no contact for a while in order to give yourselves space to heal and accept the change in the relationship.
1-3. Figure out your new normal.
While you're apart, figure out how your new life is going to look. Time once filled with being with your significant other now has to be filled with something else. Find ways to make your life joyful, from spending time with good friends to picking up a hobby like painting or rock climbing.
It doesn't matter what you do, you just need to figure out new habits, so you don't slip into old ones with your ex.
1-4. Take care of yourself.
Letting go is a grieving process, and that's fine. However, you need to make sure you are still taking care of yourself and your health. Try to sleep on a schedule, and eat well. If you're feeling down, treat yourself to something fun, such as a nice dinner, a pedicure, or a ticket to a basketball game.
2. Learning to Be Friends
2-1. Let the past stay in the past.
While it may be tempting to rehash old arguments, once you're friends, it's time to let it go. You don't have a right to criticize how he spends his time or how she likes to dress. Be supportive, and try not to move into old patterns of criticism. Talk through your feelings with the other person and then try your best to move on.
2-2. Think about how it was before.
That is, if you were friends before you got together, think about how you interacted then. That can help you forge ahead with a new relationship.
2-3. Move slowly.
Don't jump into going out three times a week. Stick with a couple a times a month at first. Too much too quickly could force the friendship to break apart.
2-4. Pick your meet-ups wisely.
If you try to do the same things you always did as a couple, you're likely to find it awkward. You associate those places with the romantic side of the relationship, and you're trying to create a different type of relationship. Therefore, it's best to pick new things to do together, especially things that won't leave you alone together.
Try going out with a group of friends, for instance, or heading to somewhere with a big crowd, such as big concert.
2-5. Skip the intimate conversations.
You don't have the same conversations with a lover that you do with a friend. If you want to keep your ex at a friendship level, you need to keep the conversations there, too. Focus on general topics such as current world news instead of very personal ones like your dog passing away.
2-6. Be prepared for "no."
Your ex may decide he or she doesn't want to be friends with you, and that's fine. Sometimes, you just have too much history with a person to move on in a different capacity.
2-7. Make it clear to your friends and family.
If you're constantly having to deal with questions about why you're still friends with the person, it can hinder your friendship. Tell your friends and family that you are going to be friends with the person, and you expect them to support that decision.
3. Cementing the Friendship
3-1. Respect boundaries.
You both need to make boundaries about when it's appropriate to call or stop by. You also need to decide where you're willing to go together. Basically, any form of contact with each other needs rules that you both need to respect and follow. You may decide to no longer go to the same restaurants you used to dine at while you were a couple.
3-2. Make sure you've moved on.
That is, to truly be friends, you can't be hanging on to the idea that you can still get back together with your ex. Examine your feelings and see if you think you are over the person enough to hang out with him or her without being more involved.
3-3. Be prepared for new relationships.
It will be hard to see your ex with someone new, but you need to realize it's going to happen. While neither of you needs to rub it in the other's face, it's bound to happen sooner or later that one of you gets with someone new. You'll only be able to be friends with the person if you realize that he or she has the right to be with someone new.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Through the Breakup\\n1-1. Break up in a civil way.\\nIf you're going to remain friends, you can't have a dramatic, no-holds-barred breakup. When you're breaking up with each other, you need to resolve any major issues without slinging mud and hatred at each other.\\nThat doesn't mean that you need to breakup without any sadness. Of course you're both going to be upset and sad. It's hard to let go of something so important to your life. However, it does mean that you need to be respectful of each other to the end.\\nBefore deciding if you want to be friends, consider how you broke up. If you were constantly fighting, didn't like to be together, and stopped having good conversations, you may not want to continue any kind of relationship.\\n1-2. Take some time apart, especially on social media.\\nOnce you break up with each other, you need to take some time away from each other. You can't just jump from being lovey-dovey to being friends. You can't rush this period; each of you has to be ready to move into a different type of relationship. There is no set amount of time to determine how long the transition to friendship will take because it is unique to every situation and each person involved.\\nMute their posts on social media or unfollow them for a while.\\nTry to go no contact for a while in order to give yourselves space to heal and accept the change in the relationship.\\n1-3. Figure out your new normal.\\nWhile you're apart, figure out how your new life is going to look. Time once filled with being with your significant other now has to be filled with something else. Find ways to make your life joyful, from spending time with good friends to picking up a hobby like painting or rock climbing.\\nIt doesn't matter what you do, you just need to figure out new habits, so you don't slip into old ones with your ex.\\n1-4. Take care of yourself.\\nLetting go is a grieving process, and that's fine. However, you need to make sure you are still taking care of yourself and your health. Try to sleep on a schedule, and eat well. If you're feeling down, treat yourself to something fun, such as a nice dinner, a pedicure, or a ticket to a basketball game.\\n2. Learning to Be Friends\\n2-1. Let the past stay in the past.\\nWhile it may be tempting to rehash old arguments, once you're friends, it's time to let it go. You don't have a right to criticize how he spends his time or how she likes to dress. Be supportive, and try not to move into old patterns of criticism. Talk through your feelings with the other person and then try your best to move on.\\n2-2. Think about how it was before.\\nThat is, if you were friends before you got together, think about how you interacted then. That can help you forge ahead with a new relationship.\\n2-3. Move slowly.\\nDon't jump into going out three times a week. Stick with a couple a times a month at first. Too much too quickly could force the friendship to break apart.\\n2-4. Pick your meet-ups wisely.\\nIf you try to do the same things you always did as a couple, you're likely to find it awkward. You associate those places with the romantic side of the relationship, and you're trying to create a different type of relationship. Therefore, it's best to pick new things to do together, especially things that won't leave you alone together.\\nTry going out with a group of friends, for instance, or heading to somewhere with a big crowd, such as big concert.\\n2-5. Skip the intimate conversations.\\nYou don't have the same conversations with a lover that you do with a friend. If you want to keep your ex at a friendship level, you need to keep the conversations there, too. Focus on general topics such as current world news instead of very personal ones like your dog passing away.\\n2-6. Be prepared for \\\"no.\\\"\\nYour ex may decide he or she doesn't want to be friends with you, and that's fine. Sometimes, you just have too much history with a person to move on in a different capacity.\\n2-7. Make it clear to your friends and family.\\nIf you're constantly having to deal with questions about why you're still friends with the person, it can hinder your friendship. Tell your friends and family that you are going to be friends with the person, and you expect them to support that decision.\\n3. Cementing the Friendship\\n3-1. Respect boundaries.\\nYou both need to make boundaries about when it's appropriate to call or stop by. You also need to decide where you're willing to go together. Basically, any form of contact with each other needs rules that you both need to respect and follow. You may decide to no longer go to the same restaurants you used to dine at while you were a couple.\\n3-2. Make sure you've moved on.\\nThat is, to truly be friends, you can't be hanging on to the idea that you can still get back together with your ex. Examine your feelings and see if you think you are over the person enough to hang out with him or her without being more involved.\\n3-3. Be prepared for new relationships.\\nIt will be hard to see your ex with someone new, but you need to realize it's going to happen. While neither of you needs to rub it in the other's face, it's bound to happen sooner or later that one of you gets with someone new. You'll only be able to be friends with the person if you realize that he or she has the right to be with someone new.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you break up with someone, sometimes you still want to hold on to that relationship, though it's necessary to change the nature of the relationship itself. With the shared history between you and your ex, it's only natural to want to remain a part of each others' lives, even if you've decided you're not right as a couple. Whatever the reason, you can be friends with your ex if you take the appropriate steps to set boundaries, protect your emotions, and embrace the shift in your relationship. We'll show you how.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Through the Breakup\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break up in a civil way.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going to remain friends, you can't have a dramatic, no-holds-barred breakup. When you're breaking up with each other, you need to resolve any major issues without slinging mud and hatred at each other.\\nThat doesn't mean that you need to breakup without any sadness. Of course you're both going to be upset and sad. It's hard to let go of something so important to your life. However, it does mean that you need to be respectful of each other to the end.\\nBefore deciding if you want to be friends, consider how you broke up. If you were constantly fighting, didn't like to be together, and stopped having good conversations, you may not want to continue any kind of relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take some time apart, especially on social media.\", \"描述\": \"Once you break up with each other, you need to take some time away from each other. You can't just jump from being lovey-dovey to being friends. You can't rush this period; each of you has to be ready to move into a different type of relationship. There is no set amount of time to determine how long the transition to friendship will take because it is unique to every situation and each person involved.\\nMute their posts on social media or unfollow them for a while.\\nTry to go no contact for a while in order to give yourselves space to heal and accept the change in the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Figure out your new normal.\", \"描述\": \"While you're apart, figure out how your new life is going to look. Time once filled with being with your significant other now has to be filled with something else. Find ways to make your life joyful, from spending time with good friends to picking up a hobby like painting or rock climbing.\\nIt doesn't matter what you do, you just need to figure out new habits, so you don't slip into old ones with your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Letting go is a grieving process, and that's fine. However, you need to make sure you are still taking care of yourself and your health. Try to sleep on a schedule, and eat well. If you're feeling down, treat yourself to something fun, such as a nice dinner, a pedicure, or a ticket to a basketball game.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning to Be Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let the past stay in the past.\", \"描述\": \"While it may be tempting to rehash old arguments, once you're friends, it's time to let it go. You don't have a right to criticize how he spends his time or how she likes to dress. Be supportive, and try not to move into old patterns of criticism. Talk through your feelings with the other person and then try your best to move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think about how it was before.\", \"描述\": \"That is, if you were friends before you got together, think about how you interacted then. That can help you forge ahead with a new relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Move slowly.\", \"描述\": \"Don't jump into going out three times a week. Stick with a couple a times a month at first. Too much too quickly could force the friendship to break apart.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick your meet-ups wisely.\", \"描述\": \"If you try to do the same things you always did as a couple, you're likely to find it awkward. You associate those places with the romantic side of the relationship, and you're trying to create a different type of relationship. Therefore, it's best to pick new things to do together, especially things that won't leave you alone together.\\nTry going out with a group of friends, for instance, or heading to somewhere with a big crowd, such as big concert.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Skip the intimate conversations.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have the same conversations with a lover that you do with a friend. If you want to keep your ex at a friendship level, you need to keep the conversations there, too. Focus on general topics such as current world news instead of very personal ones like your dog passing away.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for \\\"no.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Your ex may decide he or she doesn't want to be friends with you, and that's fine. Sometimes, you just have too much history with a person to move on in a different capacity.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make it clear to your friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"If you're constantly having to deal with questions about why you're still friends with the person, it can hinder your friendship. Tell your friends and family that you are going to be friends with the person, and you expect them to support that decision.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cementing the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"You both need to make boundaries about when it's appropriate to call or stop by. You also need to decide where you're willing to go together. Basically, any form of contact with each other needs rules that you both need to respect and follow. You may decide to no longer go to the same restaurants you used to dine at while you were a couple.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure you've moved on.\", \"描述\": \"That is, to truly be friends, you can't be hanging on to the idea that you can still get back together with your ex. Examine your feelings and see if you think you are over the person enough to hang out with him or her without being more involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for new relationships.\", \"描述\": \"It will be hard to see your ex with someone new, but you need to realize it's going to happen. While neither of you needs to rub it in the other's face, it's bound to happen sooner or later that one of you gets with someone new. You'll only be able to be friends with the person if you realize that he or she has the right to be with someone new.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,725 | How to Be Friends Again | 1. Dealing with the Disagreement
1-1. Realize that conflicts are normal.
Even people in healthy relationships will have fights and disagreements. Problems in the relationship only occur if you fail to handle the conflict properly. If you or your friend struggles with handling conflict, your relationship can be harmed. By using good communication and problem solving skills, you can keep your friendship healthy.
Actively listen to your friend.
Make compromises so that you’re both happy.
1-2. Seek a healthy resolution.
When you have a disagreement with your friend, you can experience strong intense emotions. This often leads to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When you are unable to work through your issues, you may be left feeling hurt. Instead, work with your friend to resolve your issues so that you can build trust and a deeper, stronger bond between the both of you.
1-3. Give each other some space.
After you have had an argument with a friend, you should consider giving it some time before you try to talk to them again. People tend to say hurtful things when emotions are high. Allow each party some time to relax before reaching out to your friend again.
Allow two to three days for you and your friend to calm down before trying to reach out to your friend.
1-4. Vent your frustrations.
It is normal and healthy to confide in someone when something is really bothering you. While you give your friend some time to cool down, take some time to vent your feelings and frustrations to a trusted friend or family member. You will feel much better once you have received some advice and validation.
For example, if you friend said something hurtful to you about your weight, you might confide in another friend by saying, “It really made me angry when Anna pointed out that I had gained weight.”
1-5. Reach out by letter.
Once you have taken a few days to calm down, writing a letter to your friend is a good first step when reaching out after an argument. You can write to them by email, social media, or snail mail. Though reaching out can be difficult, you should avoid waiting too long to reach out to your friend. The longer you go without talking to your friend the harder it will be to repair the relationship.
1-6. Reach out to them by phone.
Reconnect with your friend with a phone call or text message. Have a conversation about your parting ways. Suggest that you get together for lunch or coffee to continue the conversation in person. If distance has put a strain on your friendship, consider scheduling regular phone calls to keep in touch.
Discuss why you parted ways and why you are interested in rekindling the friendship.
Address any hurt feelings or concerns that you may have.
2. Moving Past the Mistakes
2-1. Apologize for your wrongdoing.
It is easy to see where the other person is wrong. It is difficult to admit to your own wrongdoing after a disagreement. Determine what it is that you did wrong and how you can fix it. Then, reach out to your friend with an apology.
For example, you may feel like you weren’t listening to your friend’s complaints. You may say to them, “I’m sorry for being a poor listener when you were trying to talk to me.”
Don’t expect to receive an apology in return. Your friend may not believe that they owe you an apology.
2-2. Avoid unhealthy responses.
As you work through a disagreement, it’s easy to fall on unhealthy responses, but they won’t help you fix your friendship. Unhealthy responses include refusing to acknowledge your friend’s point-of-view, reacting with anger, withdrawing from your friend, and fearing that the worst will happen. If you catch yourself doing these behaviors, choose a healthy response instead.
Listen to your friend’s concerns, then repeat back what you heard to see if that’s what they meant. Don’t argue with their feelings; instead, tell them that you understand how they feel before you share your side.
Stay calm when talking to your friend, and don’t put all of the blame on them, even if you feel like it’s their fault. Try taking a deep breath or counting to 10 before you speak.
Reach out to your friend to talk through your issues.
Remember why you’re friends in the first place. Trust that your friend wants to work things out, too.
2-3. Accept apologies.
If your friend is ready to apologize, allow them the space to do it. Listen to everything they have to say and truly accept their apology. Don’t grant your friend forgiveness until you are really ready to forgive them.
2-4. Let go of the past.
Letting go of the past is a long, ongoing process. In order to let go of the past you must be willing to change your attitude. Be ready to truly forgive your friend and move past the disagreement. Don’t hold those wrongdoings over your friend’s head forever. Avoid getting hung up on who was at fault.
2-5. Discuss a way forward.
Talk to your friend about what you need from them in order to mend the friendship. Then, ask for them to tell you what they need out of the friendship. When they talk to you, be sure to actively listen.
3. Rebuilding the Friendship
3-1. Spend time together.
Find time to commit to your friend again. In order to rebuild your trust and friendship, you will need to spend time together again. If you are unsure about how much time you should spend together, consider taking it slowly. You will begin to feel a sense of loyalty to your friend again.
3-2. Be dependable.
Part of being a good friend is being a dependable friend. Listen to your friend when they are confiding in you. Be available to them when they need you. Stick to your commitments and do what you say that you are going to do. Being dependable is very important in repairing broken trust in a friendship.
For example, if you have agreed to take a weekly yoga class with your friend, be sure to make every effort to keep that commitment.
3-3. Set boundaries.
Know what your core beliefs and values are. Use these to help you set boundaries within a friendship. Be sure to articulate these boundaries with your friend. Ask your friend to do the same. This will help to prevent harmful words or actions in the future.
For example, you might set a boundary regarding comments about how you raise your children. If your friend knows up front that criticizing your parenting could result in an argument, they may choose not to discuss it.
Tips
Be honest with your friend about the things that are bothering you.
Don’t wait too long to reach out to a friend after a fight.
Warnings
Your friend may not be interested in forgiveness or mending the relationship.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dealing with the Disagreement\\n1-1. Realize that conflicts are normal.\\nEven people in healthy relationships will have fights and disagreements. Problems in the relationship only occur if you fail to handle the conflict properly. If you or your friend struggles with handling conflict, your relationship can be harmed. By using good communication and problem solving skills, you can keep your friendship healthy.\\n\\nActively listen to your friend.\\n\\nMake compromises so that you’re both happy.\\n1-2. Seek a healthy resolution.\\nWhen you have a disagreement with your friend, you can experience strong intense emotions. This often leads to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When you are unable to work through your issues, you may be left feeling hurt. Instead, work with your friend to resolve your issues so that you can build trust and a deeper, stronger bond between the both of you.\\n1-3. Give each other some space.\\nAfter you have had an argument with a friend, you should consider giving it some time before you try to talk to them again. People tend to say hurtful things when emotions are high. Allow each party some time to relax before reaching out to your friend again.\\nAllow two to three days for you and your friend to calm down before trying to reach out to your friend.\\n1-4. Vent your frustrations.\\nIt is normal and healthy to confide in someone when something is really bothering you. While you give your friend some time to cool down, take some time to vent your feelings and frustrations to a trusted friend or family member. You will feel much better once you have received some advice and validation.\\nFor example, if you friend said something hurtful to you about your weight, you might confide in another friend by saying, “It really made me angry when Anna pointed out that I had gained weight.”\\n1-5. Reach out by letter.\\nOnce you have taken a few days to calm down, writing a letter to your friend is a good first step when reaching out after an argument. You can write to them by email, social media, or snail mail. Though reaching out can be difficult, you should avoid waiting too long to reach out to your friend. The longer you go without talking to your friend the harder it will be to repair the relationship.\\n1-6. Reach out to them by phone.\\nReconnect with your friend with a phone call or text message. Have a conversation about your parting ways. Suggest that you get together for lunch or coffee to continue the conversation in person. If distance has put a strain on your friendship, consider scheduling regular phone calls to keep in touch.\\nDiscuss why you parted ways and why you are interested in rekindling the friendship.\\nAddress any hurt feelings or concerns that you may have.\\n2. Moving Past the Mistakes\\n2-1. Apologize for your wrongdoing.\\nIt is easy to see where the other person is wrong. It is difficult to admit to your own wrongdoing after a disagreement. Determine what it is that you did wrong and how you can fix it. Then, reach out to your friend with an apology.\\nFor example, you may feel like you weren’t listening to your friend’s complaints. You may say to them, “I’m sorry for being a poor listener when you were trying to talk to me.”\\nDon’t expect to receive an apology in return. Your friend may not believe that they owe you an apology.\\n2-2. Avoid unhealthy responses.\\nAs you work through a disagreement, it’s easy to fall on unhealthy responses, but they won’t help you fix your friendship. Unhealthy responses include refusing to acknowledge your friend’s point-of-view, reacting with anger, withdrawing from your friend, and fearing that the worst will happen. If you catch yourself doing these behaviors, choose a healthy response instead.\\nListen to your friend’s concerns, then repeat back what you heard to see if that’s what they meant. Don’t argue with their feelings; instead, tell them that you understand how they feel before you share your side.\\nStay calm when talking to your friend, and don’t put all of the blame on them, even if you feel like it’s their fault. Try taking a deep breath or counting to 10 before you speak.\\nReach out to your friend to talk through your issues.\\nRemember why you’re friends in the first place. Trust that your friend wants to work things out, too.\\n2-3. Accept apologies.\\nIf your friend is ready to apologize, allow them the space to do it. Listen to everything they have to say and truly accept their apology. Don’t grant your friend forgiveness until you are really ready to forgive them.\\n2-4. Let go of the past.\\nLetting go of the past is a long, ongoing process. In order to let go of the past you must be willing to change your attitude. Be ready to truly forgive your friend and move past the disagreement. Don’t hold those wrongdoings over your friend’s head forever. Avoid getting hung up on who was at fault.\\n2-5. Discuss a way forward.\\nTalk to your friend about what you need from them in order to mend the friendship. Then, ask for them to tell you what they need out of the friendship. When they talk to you, be sure to actively listen.\\n3. Rebuilding the Friendship\\n3-1. Spend time together.\\nFind time to commit to your friend again. In order to rebuild your trust and friendship, you will need to spend time together again. If you are unsure about how much time you should spend together, consider taking it slowly. You will begin to feel a sense of loyalty to your friend again.\\n3-2. Be dependable.\\nPart of being a good friend is being a dependable friend. Listen to your friend when they are confiding in you. Be available to them when they need you. Stick to your commitments and do what you say that you are going to do. Being dependable is very important in repairing broken trust in a friendship.\\nFor example, if you have agreed to take a weekly yoga class with your friend, be sure to make every effort to keep that commitment.\\n3-3. Set boundaries.\\nKnow what your core beliefs and values are. Use these to help you set boundaries within a friendship. Be sure to articulate these boundaries with your friend. Ask your friend to do the same. This will help to prevent harmful words or actions in the future.\\nFor example, you might set a boundary regarding comments about how you raise your children. If your friend knows up front that criticizing your parenting could result in an argument, they may choose not to discuss it.\\nTips\\nBe honest with your friend about the things that are bothering you.\\nDon’t wait too long to reach out to a friend after a fight.\\nWarnings\\nYour friend may not be interested in forgiveness or mending the relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"After fighting with a friend and breaking up your friendship, it may feel impossible to be friends again. Learning to mend broken relationships is an important part of maturing and growing as a person. To mend a broken friendship you must deal with the disagreement, move past the mistakes, and rebuild your relationship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Disagreement\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that conflicts are normal.\", \"描述\": \"Even people in healthy relationships will have fights and disagreements. Problems in the relationship only occur if you fail to handle the conflict properly. If you or your friend struggles with handling conflict, your relationship can be harmed. By using good communication and problem solving skills, you can keep your friendship healthy.\\n\\nActively listen to your friend.\\n\\nMake compromises so that you’re both happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seek a healthy resolution.\", \"描述\": \"When you have a disagreement with your friend, you can experience strong intense emotions. This often leads to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When you are unable to work through your issues, you may be left feeling hurt. Instead, work with your friend to resolve your issues so that you can build trust and a deeper, stronger bond between the both of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give each other some space.\", \"描述\": \"After you have had an argument with a friend, you should consider giving it some time before you try to talk to them again. People tend to say hurtful things when emotions are high. Allow each party some time to relax before reaching out to your friend again.\\nAllow two to three days for you and your friend to calm down before trying to reach out to your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Vent your frustrations.\", \"描述\": \"It is normal and healthy to confide in someone when something is really bothering you. While you give your friend some time to cool down, take some time to vent your feelings and frustrations to a trusted friend or family member. You will feel much better once you have received some advice and validation.\\nFor example, if you friend said something hurtful to you about your weight, you might confide in another friend by saying, “It really made me angry when Anna pointed out that I had gained weight.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reach out by letter.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have taken a few days to calm down, writing a letter to your friend is a good first step when reaching out after an argument. You can write to them by email, social media, or snail mail. Though reaching out can be difficult, you should avoid waiting too long to reach out to your friend. The longer you go without talking to your friend the harder it will be to repair the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reach out to them by phone.\", \"描述\": \"Reconnect with your friend with a phone call or text message. Have a conversation about your parting ways. Suggest that you get together for lunch or coffee to continue the conversation in person. If distance has put a strain on your friendship, consider scheduling regular phone calls to keep in touch.\\nDiscuss why you parted ways and why you are interested in rekindling the friendship.\\nAddress any hurt feelings or concerns that you may have.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Moving Past the Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologize for your wrongdoing.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to see where the other person is wrong. It is difficult to admit to your own wrongdoing after a disagreement. Determine what it is that you did wrong and how you can fix it. Then, reach out to your friend with an apology.\\nFor example, you may feel like you weren’t listening to your friend’s complaints. You may say to them, “I’m sorry for being a poor listener when you were trying to talk to me.”\\nDon’t expect to receive an apology in return. Your friend may not believe that they owe you an apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid unhealthy responses.\", \"描述\": \"As you work through a disagreement, it’s easy to fall on unhealthy responses, but they won’t help you fix your friendship. Unhealthy responses include refusing to acknowledge your friend’s point-of-view, reacting with anger, withdrawing from your friend, and fearing that the worst will happen. If you catch yourself doing these behaviors, choose a healthy response instead.\\nListen to your friend’s concerns, then repeat back what you heard to see if that’s what they meant. Don’t argue with their feelings; instead, tell them that you understand how they feel before you share your side.\\nStay calm when talking to your friend, and don’t put all of the blame on them, even if you feel like it’s their fault. Try taking a deep breath or counting to 10 before you speak.\\nReach out to your friend to talk through your issues.\\nRemember why you’re friends in the first place. Trust that your friend wants to work things out, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept apologies.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is ready to apologize, allow them the space to do it. Listen to everything they have to say and truly accept their apology. Don’t grant your friend forgiveness until you are really ready to forgive them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let go of the past.\", \"描述\": \"Letting go of the past is a long, ongoing process. In order to let go of the past you must be willing to change your attitude. Be ready to truly forgive your friend and move past the disagreement. Don’t hold those wrongdoings over your friend’s head forever. Avoid getting hung up on who was at fault.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Discuss a way forward.\", \"描述\": \"Talk to your friend about what you need from them in order to mend the friendship. Then, ask for them to tell you what they need out of the friendship. When they talk to you, be sure to actively listen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rebuilding the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time together.\", \"描述\": \"Find time to commit to your friend again. In order to rebuild your trust and friendship, you will need to spend time together again. If you are unsure about how much time you should spend together, consider taking it slowly. You will begin to feel a sense of loyalty to your friend again.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be dependable.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being a good friend is being a dependable friend. Listen to your friend when they are confiding in you. Be available to them when they need you. Stick to your commitments and do what you say that you are going to do. Being dependable is very important in repairing broken trust in a friendship.\\nFor example, if you have agreed to take a weekly yoga class with your friend, be sure to make every effort to keep that commitment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Know what your core beliefs and values are. Use these to help you set boundaries within a friendship. Be sure to articulate these boundaries with your friend. Ask your friend to do the same. This will help to prevent harmful words or actions in the future.\\nFor example, you might set a boundary regarding comments about how you raise your children. If your friend knows up front that criticizing your parenting could result in an argument, they may choose not to discuss it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be honest with your friend about the things that are bothering you.\\n\", \"Don’t wait too long to reach out to a friend after a fight.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Your friend may not be interested in forgiveness or mending the relationship.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,726 | How to Be Friends Forever with Your Best Friend | 1. Steps
1-1. Communicate with your best friend.
Frequent communication is essential to deepening your friendship. Making sure that they feel loved and supported will help you remain friends with them. Let them know about your day and random facts about yourself. Listen to them when they speak, and respond with an appropriate amount of enthusiasm so that they feel happy.
1-2. Plan activities together.
Spending time with your friend is important, as it reminds them that they're loved. Share fun moments with them. Send them invitations to different outings, such as the movies or to a sleepover. Be sure that you both enjoy the activity; otherwise, they may feel unhappy and not want to spend time with you. Also, invite your other friends for a change in variety.
1-3. Share your secrets with them.
Allowing you into your life will make them feel special. As your best friend, they will want to know about you as much as possible. By opening up to them, they will understand that you trust them and want them in your life. If they shares secrets with you, be a good friend and keep them to yourself. Although you might be tempted to share them with others, don't break the trust put in you.
1-4. Keep in touch.
When you are apart, show that you are thinking about them by calling, emailing, or texting them. Sending a short, simple message can do the trick. However, remember to give space so that they don't feel smothered.
1-5. Create nicknames.
Giving them a special name will strengthen your bond with them. Be sure that they don't, however, feel embarrassed or hurt by the name; if they feel you're making fun of them, it could throw a wrench in your friendship. Have inside jokes with each other.
1-6. Support their obsessions.
Every person is made unique by their likes and dislikes. Even if you may not love their television shows or favorite celebrities, show that you love and support them by listening when they talk about them. You could also purchase gifts related to their likes, such as a shirt of a favorite band.
1-7. Avoid obstacles in your friendship.
In order to ensure that you both remain friends for a long time, don't allow menial situations or differences to separate you both. It doesn't matter that she's got the same shirt or pair of boots as you. Why should you care if he isn't a fan of the band you love? Your similarities and differences with them should not cause a tear in your friendship.
1-8. Respect them.
Above all, respect your friend, their space and their choices. You're not the boss of them and neither they of you. Enjoy everything together for as long as it lasts.
Look at your friendship as at the most precious of resources that will hopefully be giving to you as much as you're giving to it.
Tips
Best friends don't keep secrets from each other, unless they are truly personal.
The truth won't bring them down, so be honest. If something doesn't work or look good, be honest.
Tell your best friend how you are feeling and let them know your fears and secrets. They will surely keep it a secret. If they do not, then you should not ever believe them. Friends can be forever if you bother to be a good friend.
Warnings
Don't quarrel over stupid things.
You can die from laughter because of a best friend.
There are going to be way too many inside jokes for you to handle.
You'll start calling each other strange nicknames like Milkshake, Cheesecharger, Gerba, Gamma and Chica.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Communicate with your best friend.\\nFrequent communication is essential to deepening your friendship. Making sure that they feel loved and supported will help you remain friends with them. Let them know about your day and random facts about yourself. Listen to them when they speak, and respond with an appropriate amount of enthusiasm so that they feel happy.\\n1-2. Plan activities together.\\nSpending time with your friend is important, as it reminds them that they're loved. Share fun moments with them. Send them invitations to different outings, such as the movies or to a sleepover. Be sure that you both enjoy the activity; otherwise, they may feel unhappy and not want to spend time with you. Also, invite your other friends for a change in variety.\\n1-3. Share your secrets with them.\\nAllowing you into your life will make them feel special. As your best friend, they will want to know about you as much as possible. By opening up to them, they will understand that you trust them and want them in your life. If they shares secrets with you, be a good friend and keep them to yourself. Although you might be tempted to share them with others, don't break the trust put in you.\\n1-4. Keep in touch.\\nWhen you are apart, show that you are thinking about them by calling, emailing, or texting them. Sending a short, simple message can do the trick. However, remember to give space so that they don't feel smothered.\\n1-5. Create nicknames.\\nGiving them a special name will strengthen your bond with them. Be sure that they don't, however, feel embarrassed or hurt by the name; if they feel you're making fun of them, it could throw a wrench in your friendship. Have inside jokes with each other.\\n1-6. Support their obsessions.\\nEvery person is made unique by their likes and dislikes. Even if you may not love their television shows or favorite celebrities, show that you love and support them by listening when they talk about them. You could also purchase gifts related to their likes, such as a shirt of a favorite band.\\n1-7. Avoid obstacles in your friendship.\\nIn order to ensure that you both remain friends for a long time, don't allow menial situations or differences to separate you both. It doesn't matter that she's got the same shirt or pair of boots as you. Why should you care if he isn't a fan of the band you love? Your similarities and differences with them should not cause a tear in your friendship.\\n1-8. Respect them.\\nAbove all, respect your friend, their space and their choices. You're not the boss of them and neither they of you. Enjoy everything together for as long as it lasts.\\nLook at your friendship as at the most precious of resources that will hopefully be giving to you as much as you're giving to it.\\nTips\\nBest friends don't keep secrets from each other, unless they are truly personal.\\nThe truth won't bring them down, so be honest. If something doesn't work or look good, be honest.\\nTell your best friend how you are feeling and let them know your fears and secrets. They will surely keep it a secret. If they do not, then you should not ever believe them. Friends can be forever if you bother to be a good friend.\\nWarnings\\nDon't quarrel over stupid things.\\nYou can die from laughter because of a best friend.\\nThere are going to be way too many inside jokes for you to handle.\\nYou'll start calling each other strange nicknames like Milkshake, Cheesecharger, Gerba, Gamma and Chica.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may be popular, or you may be a loner. But you have friends. More importantly, you have a best friend. Sometimes, there are times when you are annoyed, but besides that, they are some of the most important people in your life. The quality of friends matters much more than their number. If all others whom you thought were your friends will turn their backs on you, a best friend will always be there no matter what.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicate with your best friend.\", \"描述\": \"Frequent communication is essential to deepening your friendship. Making sure that they feel loved and supported will help you remain friends with them. Let them know about your day and random facts about yourself. Listen to them when they speak, and respond with an appropriate amount of enthusiasm so that they feel happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan activities together.\", \"描述\": \"Spending time with your friend is important, as it reminds them that they're loved. Share fun moments with them. Send them invitations to different outings, such as the movies or to a sleepover. Be sure that you both enjoy the activity; otherwise, they may feel unhappy and not want to spend time with you. Also, invite your other friends for a change in variety.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share your secrets with them.\", \"描述\": \"Allowing you into your life will make them feel special. As your best friend, they will want to know about you as much as possible. By opening up to them, they will understand that you trust them and want them in your life. If they shares secrets with you, be a good friend and keep them to yourself. Although you might be tempted to share them with others, don't break the trust put in you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep in touch.\", \"描述\": \"When you are apart, show that you are thinking about them by calling, emailing, or texting them. Sending a short, simple message can do the trick. However, remember to give space so that they don't feel smothered.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create nicknames.\", \"描述\": \"Giving them a special name will strengthen your bond with them. Be sure that they don't, however, feel embarrassed or hurt by the name; if they feel you're making fun of them, it could throw a wrench in your friendship. Have inside jokes with each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Support their obsessions.\", \"描述\": \"Every person is made unique by their likes and dislikes. Even if you may not love their television shows or favorite celebrities, show that you love and support them by listening when they talk about them. You could also purchase gifts related to their likes, such as a shirt of a favorite band.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid obstacles in your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"In order to ensure that you both remain friends for a long time, don't allow menial situations or differences to separate you both. It doesn't matter that she's got the same shirt or pair of boots as you. Why should you care if he isn't a fan of the band you love? Your similarities and differences with them should not cause a tear in your friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respect them.\", \"描述\": \"Above all, respect your friend, their space and their choices. You're not the boss of them and neither they of you. Enjoy everything together for as long as it lasts.\\nLook at your friendship as at the most precious of resources that will hopefully be giving to you as much as you're giving to it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Best friends don't keep secrets from each other, unless they are truly personal.\\n\", \"The truth won't bring them down, so be honest. If something doesn't work or look good, be honest.\\n\", \"Tell your best friend how you are feeling and let them know your fears and secrets. They will surely keep it a secret. If they do not, then you should not ever believe them. Friends can be forever if you bother to be a good friend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't quarrel over stupid things.\\n\", \"You can die from laughter because of a best friend.\\n\", \"There are going to be way too many inside jokes for you to handle.\\n\", \"You'll start calling each other strange nicknames like Milkshake, Cheesecharger, Gerba, Gamma and Chica.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,727 | How to Be Friends With Everyone at School | 1. Steps
1-1. Be nice.
Nobody wants a mean friend! Be nice to everyone, even if they are mean to you. Smile a lot and lend things to people who need them. Avoid giving people a hard time about things, and remember the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be nice to others and only then they will be your friend.
Don't be a bully! If you are, people won't want to be friends with you. Being a bully also includes spreading rumors and starting gossip.
1-2. Be friendly.
Be good to be around. Instead of glaring or saying mean things, be bubbly and full of energy and be nice to everyone around you. Be friendly and smile. Don't ignore anyone and talk to them.
1-3. Be a responsible student.
This can help your friendship career. Don't be one of those kids who's always ditching school and being rude in class or anything. Prosper in school and help kids who need it (without being rude about it). Get good grades in exams. Others will like to be friends with intelligent people. Don't be a nerd though.
1-4. Hang out with everyone.
Compliment their outfit or hair. Be able to walk by someone and have a light conversation with them. Don't stick to one person either; go to many people and hang around them (one at a time). Talk about general things , and make small talk.
Don't take sides if your friends have fights. That makes your friends think you like someone else more than you like them. Stay neutral and don't strive for drama.
1-5. Reach out.
People will not always come to you. Be friendly to everyone and then ask them out (not on a date; to the mall or something). If they say no, don't worry about it. There are always more people out there. Set an example and be the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with (but don't be snotty about it).
Tips
Remember not to be bossy or rude and make sure you have your friends' trust.
Always be fun to be with. If you are boring, others will be bored with you.
Talk to everyone, even if you don't know them.
Warnings
Sometimes people think you are trying to be popular. Calmly tell them that you are just trying to have friends. Don't yell at them or get rowdy.
Don't bully anybody if you want to be friends with everybody at your school. This includes making others cry, spreading rumors, and gossiping.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Be nice.\\nNobody wants a mean friend! Be nice to everyone, even if they are mean to you. Smile a lot and lend things to people who need them. Avoid giving people a hard time about things, and remember the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be nice to others and only then they will be your friend.\\nDon't be a bully! If you are, people won't want to be friends with you. Being a bully also includes spreading rumors and starting gossip.\\n1-2. Be friendly.\\nBe good to be around. Instead of glaring or saying mean things, be bubbly and full of energy and be nice to everyone around you. Be friendly and smile. Don't ignore anyone and talk to them.\\n1-3. Be a responsible student.\\nThis can help your friendship career. Don't be one of those kids who's always ditching school and being rude in class or anything. Prosper in school and help kids who need it (without being rude about it). Get good grades in exams. Others will like to be friends with intelligent people. Don't be a nerd though.\\n1-4. Hang out with everyone.\\nCompliment their outfit or hair. Be able to walk by someone and have a light conversation with them. Don't stick to one person either; go to many people and hang around them (one at a time). Talk about general things , and make small talk.\\nDon't take sides if your friends have fights. That makes your friends think you like someone else more than you like them. Stay neutral and don't strive for drama.\\n1-5. Reach out.\\nPeople will not always come to you. Be friendly to everyone and then ask them out (not on a date; to the mall or something). If they say no, don't worry about it. There are always more people out there. Set an example and be the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with (but don't be snotty about it).\\nTips\\nRemember not to be bossy or rude and make sure you have your friends' trust.\\nAlways be fun to be with. If you are boring, others will be bored with you.\\nTalk to everyone, even if you don't know them.\\nWarnings\\nSometimes people think you are trying to be popular. Calmly tell them that you are just trying to have friends. Don't yell at them or get rowdy.\\nDon't bully anybody if you want to be friends with everybody at your school. This includes making others cry, spreading rumors, and gossiping.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Instead of being bullied or lonely during your school career, follow these easy steps so that you can be everyone's friend at school!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be nice.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody wants a mean friend! Be nice to everyone, even if they are mean to you. Smile a lot and lend things to people who need them. Avoid giving people a hard time about things, and remember the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be nice to others and only then they will be your friend.\\nDon't be a bully! If you are, people won't want to be friends with you. Being a bully also includes spreading rumors and starting gossip.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be friendly.\", \"描述\": \"Be good to be around. Instead of glaring or saying mean things, be bubbly and full of energy and be nice to everyone around you. Be friendly and smile. Don't ignore anyone and talk to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be a responsible student.\", \"描述\": \"This can help your friendship career. Don't be one of those kids who's always ditching school and being rude in class or anything. Prosper in school and help kids who need it (without being rude about it). Get good grades in exams. Others will like to be friends with intelligent people. Don't be a nerd though.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hang out with everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Compliment their outfit or hair. Be able to walk by someone and have a light conversation with them. Don't stick to one person either; go to many people and hang around them (one at a time). Talk about general things , and make small talk.\\nDon't take sides if your friends have fights. That makes your friends think you like someone else more than you like them. Stay neutral and don't strive for drama.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reach out.\", \"描述\": \"People will not always come to you. Be friendly to everyone and then ask them out (not on a date; to the mall or something). If they say no, don't worry about it. There are always more people out there. Set an example and be the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with (but don't be snotty about it).\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember not to be bossy or rude and make sure you have your friends' trust.\\n\", \"Always be fun to be with. If you are boring, others will be bored with you.\\n\", \"Talk to everyone, even if you don't know them.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Sometimes people think you are trying to be popular. Calmly tell them that you are just trying to have friends. Don't yell at them or get rowdy.\\n\", \"Don't bully anybody if you want to be friends with everybody at your school. This includes making others cry, spreading rumors, and gossiping.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,728 | How to Be Friends With Someone Who Has a High IQ | 1. Deepening Your Friendship
1-1. Focus on the person, not their intellect.
If someone is very intelligent, chances are that others often focus only on the person’s intellect. Remember that your friend is just that—a friend and not a brain. Paying close attention to your friend and every aspect of her personality can help you enjoy spending time together and strengthen your friendship.
Be aware that individuals with higher IQs often have fewer friends and may have social anxiety. Because of this, you may want to focus on your friend in part by just doing things together without other people.
Remember that it’s acceptable to acknowledge your friend’s intellect, just don’t make it the center feature of your time together. Instead, consider doing activities and talking about things that you both enjoy.
Avoid believing stereotypes about your intelligent friend. She might not be as lively as your other friends, but that doesn’t mean that she is like a stiff, intelligent character from a television show, either.
Try to remember you're intelligent too, and while your intelligent friend might blow you off the map in her chosen field of expertise she is still a person. Out of her element, she is just as likely as you to make stupid blunders, get confused, and need some guidance, after all she is only human. And what human doesn't need help from a good friend from time to time.
1-2. Have meaningful exchanges.
Talking is an important part of any friendship. It can make a person feel seen, appreciated, and supported. This is no different for someone who is intelligent. Keep chats and conversations with your intelligent friend going and incorporate subjects you both enjoy or issues either of you might be experiencing.
Be sure to listen intently to what your friend says and likes to discuss. This lets your friend know that you care about and are engaged in matters important to her life.
Make sure your conversations are a mix of lighthearted and serious topics. They may also be intellectual or completely silly. No person can have serious or intellectual conversations all the time and your friendship might be a great outlet for your friend’s sillier side. For example, if your friend mentions a funny TV show, ask about it and think of other shows that you can compare to it.
Remember to follow up any statements your friend makes with questions or a comment to show that you’re paying attention and care about the person.
1-3. Shift the focus from your friend’s intellect.
When someone is very smart or has a high IQ, the person may find that others only focus on that part of his or her personality. Remember that people are multifaceted and have many things to offer beyond intellect or other traits. Instead of focusing on your friend’s brainpower, forget about it. You can turn your attention to other things such as the person’s great sense of humor or activities both of you do. Not only does this keeps a conversation going, but it shows your friend that your interest is in more than his or her intellect.
Think about your friend’s personality before you meet the person. Ask yourself what other traits the person has and find ways to focus on these in your conversations. For example, you could say, “You’re such an adventurous eater! How do you not get squeamish? Would you like to go out to dinner sometime and show me?”
Consider being up front with your friend about focusing on the person’s intellect. You could say, “Ack, I love talking about smart things with you but it starts to hurt my brain after a while. Have you seen the ads for the latest romantic comedy that Nora Ephron made?”
1-4. Compromise to develop common interests.
Make sure to mention your own interests when chatting with your friend. This can guide the conversation and help your friend realize that you are not only interested in her brain. In addition, it can teach both of you to compromise as a way to develop your friendship.
Use your friend’s interests or comments as a way to mention your interests. For example, if your friend mentions wanting to see the latest Star Wars movie, use that as a way to say “I’m not really into sci-fi pictures, but love romantic comedies. But I’d be interested in seeing Star Wars and maybe changing my mind.” You could also say, “I love Vietnamese, too, but if we go there tonight can we try that happening new Mexican place next time?”
1-5. Build common experiences.
No matter what your respective interests, try and do different things together as friends. You may find adventure, have a blast, and strengthen your friendship in the process.
Do activities both of you like. Let this guide you for future experiences that you can have together and which can strengthen your friendship. For example, suggest trying a new restaurant or experimenting in the kitchen together. You could also go skydiving or parasailing together.
Consider mixing serious and fun activities. For example, your friend might be a highly intelligent scientist. A trip to a local science museum might be a good way for you to understand about your friend’s talents, allow the person to shine, and even pique your interest. This might also help you and your friend navigate group dynamics in a positive way.
Consider taking day trips or vacations together. Relaxing together can strengthen your friendship and help both of you get past your friend’s brain. Make sure to build in some “me time” for each of you, which can be very important to an intelligent person.
1-6. Maintain your independence.
In some cases, you may feel intimidated by a friend with a high IQ and assume that every decision they make is right and rational. However, it’s important that you continue to be yourself and assert your own views and opinions. This shows your friend that you have self-respect but will also respect her independence.
Make sure to give your friend space. Many intelligent people thrive at friendships in which they are not constantly with the other person. This gives you the option of being friends with other people, which can make you more well-rounded and socially intelligent.
Be confident and believe in your opinions. This may provide a basis for more meaningful conversations with your friend. If the person is truly your friend, she will value your opinion and give you the chance to express it without bullying you or making you feel stupid.
1-7. Let your friend know that she matters.
Every person wants to feel special and valued by friends, family, and peers. Intelligent people are no different. Make sure that your friend knows that you value every aspect of her personality and enjoy spending time together when you have the chance.
Show your happiness at your friend’s accomplishments, even if it comes to your detriment. The sign of a true friend is the ability to be genuinely happy no matter what. You can tell or write your friend a message that says “Great job” or “I’m so happy for you!”
Be open to your friend’s needs. There are times when others might make fun of your friend or she feels pressure to constantly perform because of her IQ. Listen to your friend’s concerns, figure out a way to address them, and then try to cheer up the person.
1-8. Ask your friend to meet other friends.
One of the best ways to make a new friend is by meeting the friends of a friend. Consider inviting your friend with a high IQ to meet some of your other friends, which could offer her some new and different perspectives. Remember that many intelligent people don’t do well in large groups, so you may want to keep the group to a manageable 3 or 4 people to start.
Keep the mood as light as possible and don’t mention to your other friends anything about the person’s IQ. This might cause your friends to focus only on how smart your friend is and not value her as a multi-layered individual.
Ask your friend if she is interested in meeting your friends before putting together a group event. Your friend may feel more comfortable with just you. But your friend also may be very receptive to meeting some of your other friends.
Make sure your friends know that you enjoy your intelligent friend, even if the person comes off badly at your activity. Explain that your friend felt overwhelmed and a bit insecure around such exciting people and reverted to intelligence to cope.
2. Navigating Possible Difficulties
2-1. Accept the positive—as well as the negative.
No friend is one-dimensional, but instead a multi-layered individual. Part of being a good friend is accepting every part of your friend’s personality. Take the ups and downs in your friendship as they come, which can forge a better and stronger friendship.
Be understanding of the quirks that may come with an intelligent friend. Remember that she may be highly intelligent at math, but terrible at relating to other people. For example, if your friend feels threatened, she may fall back on her intelligence to boost her confidence. As long as your friend isn’t hurting another person, let this roll off your back.
Be understanding whenever your friend is in a bad mood, having a bad day, or socially awkward. You can always explain to others, “Normally she is really fun and easygoing but she’s under a lot of stress and it sometimes makes her a bit insecure and snarky. I hope you’ll have a chance to meet my friend at a better time.”
2-2. Remember why you became friends.
Whether it was sharing toys in the sandbox or bonding over a lab in college, there was some spark that started your friendship. Think about what bonds you and your friend if you are having difficulty in the friendship or can’t connect any longer.
Think about what you share in common. Did your love of World of Warcraft or interest in playing soccer spark a friendship? Were you both competitive in the spelling bee or Model UN at school? Or did you both have a job at a fast food restaurant? Whatever interests you shared in the past, draw on your common interests to keep your friendship strong.
Ponder your pal’s personality in all of its dimensions. Is your intelligent friend also sensitive and kind, or does have strong insight and the ability to read others? Focus on the qualities that make this person special and not what upsets you.
2-3. Embrace your friend’s individuality.
Gifted or highly intelligent individuals may exhibit unique characteristics such as being extremely creative and passionate about specific things. Your intelligent friend may also not approach problems or situations like other friends, which is part of what makes her an individual and special. Instead of being annoyed or even embarrassed by your friend’s personality, remember that her intelligence and its quirks are as much as a part of her as other traits. This can help strengthen your friendship.
Ask or remind your friend if the person acts quirky. You can do this in a humorous way by asking, “do you always have such spot on comebacks?” or “Could you teach me how to think that rapidly about stuff?”
Remember that every single friend you have, irrespective of the person’s intelligence, is an individual and has special traits and quirks that come with being human.
2-4. Tap into your special qualities, too.
A friendship requires participation by two equal individuals, so keep in mind that you are as big a part of the friendship as your intelligent friend. While your pal may happily discuss quantum physics, it’s important to remember you have talents and traits that complement the friendship.
Remember your traits that your friend likes about you. Perhaps your buddy appreciates your irreverent sense of humor or uncanny ability to see the good in people. Bringing out these traits in yourself can reinforce your friendship.
Use humor if necessary. If your friend begins obsessing about something that goes over your head, bring the person back down by saying, “While you’re over there being a smarty pants, I think I just found a new adventure for us! Picture us doing ceramics over booze!”
Don't avoid saying something because you think she would "Think that sounded dumb" or it would "Make you look like an idiot" It's probably not that bad after all and if she is a friend she'll think the better of you anyway.
2-5. Be honest about doubts.
Honesty is also another cornerstone of any strong friendship, even with someone who is very intelligent. If you're worried that you're not smart enough for your intelligent friend, remember that the person seeks you out and values your friendship. Have an open discussion about your fears and insecurities in the friendship—you may find that your friend has similar fears.
Broach the subject with your friend in a non-confrontational manner. For example, you could say, “Sometimes when you go off on tangents like that I wonder why you want to be friends with me. I didn’t really understand what you said.”
Try to focus on your friendship and less on intelligence or a competition of your wits. Avoid letting yourself feel intimidated by your friend’s intelligence by reminding yourself that there are many things you can do better.
2-6. Be aware that intelligence doesn’t mean social competence.
Think about your friend and other intelligent people you know. You might realize that they’re not always great in social situations. In fact, many intelligent people suffer from social anxiety, which may be related to thinking or analyzing situations to much, psyching themselves out, or an inability to deal with emotions. Keeping the social hindrances your intelligent friend may have can help you better navigate your friendship and interactions you and your friend have with others.
Help your intelligent friend deal with other people more effectively by supporting her or boosting her self-confidence in situations. For example, you could draw attention away from your friend’s intellect by saying “you know, Christina and I have been friends for 20 years and she wouldn’t tell you this, but she is a fantastic painter.”
2-7. Explain to your friend to others.
If your friend hasn’t met your other friends or they’re meeting for the first time, consider cuing in other people about your intelligent friend. Some people may be offended by your friend’s intelligence or responses to situations and this could help them understand your friend better.
Tell your other friends about your intelligent friend. Say, “I’m really excited to have you guys meet Simi. We’ve been friends for years and she’s really wonderful. I just wanted to let you know that she is incredibly smart and can sometimes come off a bit aloof. Just give yourself a chance to get to know her and I know you’ll love her as much as I do.”
Remind your friends that intelligence sometimes means social incompetence. You could say, “I’m really sorry my friend came off so arrogantly. She doesn’t always do well in social situations, but I can assure you she’s a really nice person if you give her a chance.”
2-8. Point out when your friend has gone too far.
In some cases, your intelligent friend may get a bit too arrogant or even be rude with you or people who are maybe not as smart or talkative. If this happens, it’s a good idea to point the problem out to your friend and explain why what the person did cross the boundaries of acceptability.
Avoid embarrassing your friend if you can. Instead, point out the problem in private. You could say, “You know Sam, your response to Pat was really condescending and totally unnecessary. He doesn’t have it as easy as you when it comes to developing projects quickly and you should realize that not everyone is like you in that regard. You really need to be more sensitive and think about others in these situations.”
Break any tension by making a sarcastic remark. For example say, “well, now that we all feel completely stupid, let’s figure out how to tackle this.” Not only can that help to smooth over any problems, but also cue your friend in to the mistake.
Support your friend no matter what, even if you don’t support or agree with a situation. For example, if your friend is arrogant about intelligence with another person, you could support her by saying “I understand why you said what you did, but I might have been a bit more diplomatic in the way I said it.”
Tips
Remember that you have special qualities, too. You may do certain things or know specific subjects better than your friend.
Keep in mind that just because a person is smarter than you does not mean they don't like you. If people are nice to you, be nice in return. If the person is mean or arrogant to you, consider moving on to others who value you.
Be aware that a high IQ does not mean the person is a genius in all things. If he's an artist, he may not have exceptional math skills or appreciate being treated like a pocket calculator. If she's a mathematician, she may not be superbly eloquent.
Warnings
Avoid teasing a friend with a high IQ. Chances are the person who was teased during childhoods and it may bring up bad memories. The individual may have even been severely bullied as a kid.
Try to avoid believing that your, intelligent friend can simply pull knowledge out of thin air or solve any problem that sounds technical. While she may be highly intelligent, that doesn't mean she knows everything, and being put on the spot like that can be very embarrassing. It is far better to ask than assume, and don't be surprised at what your friend doesn't know.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Deepening Your Friendship\\n1-1. Focus on the person, not their intellect.\\nIf someone is very intelligent, chances are that others often focus only on the person’s intellect. Remember that your friend is just that—a friend and not a brain. Paying close attention to your friend and every aspect of her personality can help you enjoy spending time together and strengthen your friendship.\\nBe aware that individuals with higher IQs often have fewer friends and may have social anxiety. Because of this, you may want to focus on your friend in part by just doing things together without other people.\\nRemember that it’s acceptable to acknowledge your friend’s intellect, just don’t make it the center feature of your time together. Instead, consider doing activities and talking about things that you both enjoy.\\nAvoid believing stereotypes about your intelligent friend. She might not be as lively as your other friends, but that doesn’t mean that she is like a stiff, intelligent character from a television show, either.\\nTry to remember you're intelligent too, and while your intelligent friend might blow you off the map in her chosen field of expertise she is still a person. Out of her element, she is just as likely as you to make stupid blunders, get confused, and need some guidance, after all she is only human. And what human doesn't need help from a good friend from time to time.\\n1-2. Have meaningful exchanges.\\nTalking is an important part of any friendship. It can make a person feel seen, appreciated, and supported. This is no different for someone who is intelligent. Keep chats and conversations with your intelligent friend going and incorporate subjects you both enjoy or issues either of you might be experiencing.\\nBe sure to listen intently to what your friend says and likes to discuss. This lets your friend know that you care about and are engaged in matters important to her life.\\nMake sure your conversations are a mix of lighthearted and serious topics. They may also be intellectual or completely silly. No person can have serious or intellectual conversations all the time and your friendship might be a great outlet for your friend’s sillier side. For example, if your friend mentions a funny TV show, ask about it and think of other shows that you can compare to it.\\nRemember to follow up any statements your friend makes with questions or a comment to show that you’re paying attention and care about the person.\\n1-3. Shift the focus from your friend’s intellect.\\nWhen someone is very smart or has a high IQ, the person may find that others only focus on that part of his or her personality. Remember that people are multifaceted and have many things to offer beyond intellect or other traits. Instead of focusing on your friend’s brainpower, forget about it. You can turn your attention to other things such as the person’s great sense of humor or activities both of you do. Not only does this keeps a conversation going, but it shows your friend that your interest is in more than his or her intellect.\\nThink about your friend’s personality before you meet the person. Ask yourself what other traits the person has and find ways to focus on these in your conversations. For example, you could say, “You’re such an adventurous eater! How do you not get squeamish? Would you like to go out to dinner sometime and show me?”\\nConsider being up front with your friend about focusing on the person’s intellect. You could say, “Ack, I love talking about smart things with you but it starts to hurt my brain after a while. Have you seen the ads for the latest romantic comedy that Nora Ephron made?”\\n1-4. Compromise to develop common interests.\\nMake sure to mention your own interests when chatting with your friend. This can guide the conversation and help your friend realize that you are not only interested in her brain. In addition, it can teach both of you to compromise as a way to develop your friendship.\\nUse your friend’s interests or comments as a way to mention your interests. For example, if your friend mentions wanting to see the latest Star Wars movie, use that as a way to say “I’m not really into sci-fi pictures, but love romantic comedies. But I’d be interested in seeing Star Wars and maybe changing my mind.” You could also say, “I love Vietnamese, too, but if we go there tonight can we try that happening new Mexican place next time?”\\n1-5. Build common experiences.\\nNo matter what your respective interests, try and do different things together as friends. You may find adventure, have a blast, and strengthen your friendship in the process.\\nDo activities both of you like. Let this guide you for future experiences that you can have together and which can strengthen your friendship. For example, suggest trying a new restaurant or experimenting in the kitchen together. You could also go skydiving or parasailing together.\\nConsider mixing serious and fun activities. For example, your friend might be a highly intelligent scientist. A trip to a local science museum might be a good way for you to understand about your friend’s talents, allow the person to shine, and even pique your interest. This might also help you and your friend navigate group dynamics in a positive way.\\nConsider taking day trips or vacations together. Relaxing together can strengthen your friendship and help both of you get past your friend’s brain. Make sure to build in some “me time” for each of you, which can be very important to an intelligent person.\\n1-6. Maintain your independence.\\nIn some cases, you may feel intimidated by a friend with a high IQ and assume that every decision they make is right and rational. However, it’s important that you continue to be yourself and assert your own views and opinions. This shows your friend that you have self-respect but will also respect her independence.\\nMake sure to give your friend space. Many intelligent people thrive at friendships in which they are not constantly with the other person. This gives you the option of being friends with other people, which can make you more well-rounded and socially intelligent.\\nBe confident and believe in your opinions. This may provide a basis for more meaningful conversations with your friend. If the person is truly your friend, she will value your opinion and give you the chance to express it without bullying you or making you feel stupid.\\n1-7. Let your friend know that she matters.\\nEvery person wants to feel special and valued by friends, family, and peers. Intelligent people are no different. Make sure that your friend knows that you value every aspect of her personality and enjoy spending time together when you have the chance.\\nShow your happiness at your friend’s accomplishments, even if it comes to your detriment. The sign of a true friend is the ability to be genuinely happy no matter what. You can tell or write your friend a message that says “Great job” or “I’m so happy for you!”\\nBe open to your friend’s needs. There are times when others might make fun of your friend or she feels pressure to constantly perform because of her IQ. Listen to your friend’s concerns, figure out a way to address them, and then try to cheer up the person.\\n1-8. Ask your friend to meet other friends.\\nOne of the best ways to make a new friend is by meeting the friends of a friend. Consider inviting your friend with a high IQ to meet some of your other friends, which could offer her some new and different perspectives. Remember that many intelligent people don’t do well in large groups, so you may want to keep the group to a manageable 3 or 4 people to start.\\nKeep the mood as light as possible and don’t mention to your other friends anything about the person’s IQ. This might cause your friends to focus only on how smart your friend is and not value her as a multi-layered individual.\\nAsk your friend if she is interested in meeting your friends before putting together a group event. Your friend may feel more comfortable with just you. But your friend also may be very receptive to meeting some of your other friends.\\nMake sure your friends know that you enjoy your intelligent friend, even if the person comes off badly at your activity. Explain that your friend felt overwhelmed and a bit insecure around such exciting people and reverted to intelligence to cope.\\n2. Navigating Possible Difficulties\\n2-1. Accept the positive—as well as the negative.\\nNo friend is one-dimensional, but instead a multi-layered individual. Part of being a good friend is accepting every part of your friend’s personality. Take the ups and downs in your friendship as they come, which can forge a better and stronger friendship.\\nBe understanding of the quirks that may come with an intelligent friend. Remember that she may be highly intelligent at math, but terrible at relating to other people. For example, if your friend feels threatened, she may fall back on her intelligence to boost her confidence. As long as your friend isn’t hurting another person, let this roll off your back.\\nBe understanding whenever your friend is in a bad mood, having a bad day, or socially awkward. You can always explain to others, “Normally she is really fun and easygoing but she’s under a lot of stress and it sometimes makes her a bit insecure and snarky. I hope you’ll have a chance to meet my friend at a better time.”\\n2-2. Remember why you became friends.\\nWhether it was sharing toys in the sandbox or bonding over a lab in college, there was some spark that started your friendship. Think about what bonds you and your friend if you are having difficulty in the friendship or can’t connect any longer.\\nThink about what you share in common. Did your love of World of Warcraft or interest in playing soccer spark a friendship? Were you both competitive in the spelling bee or Model UN at school? Or did you both have a job at a fast food restaurant? Whatever interests you shared in the past, draw on your common interests to keep your friendship strong.\\nPonder your pal’s personality in all of its dimensions. Is your intelligent friend also sensitive and kind, or does have strong insight and the ability to read others? Focus on the qualities that make this person special and not what upsets you.\\n2-3. Embrace your friend’s individuality.\\nGifted or highly intelligent individuals may exhibit unique characteristics such as being extremely creative and passionate about specific things. Your intelligent friend may also not approach problems or situations like other friends, which is part of what makes her an individual and special. Instead of being annoyed or even embarrassed by your friend’s personality, remember that her intelligence and its quirks are as much as a part of her as other traits. This can help strengthen your friendship.\\nAsk or remind your friend if the person acts quirky. You can do this in a humorous way by asking, “do you always have such spot on comebacks?” or “Could you teach me how to think that rapidly about stuff?”\\nRemember that every single friend you have, irrespective of the person’s intelligence, is an individual and has special traits and quirks that come with being human.\\n2-4. Tap into your special qualities, too.\\nA friendship requires participation by two equal individuals, so keep in mind that you are as big a part of the friendship as your intelligent friend. While your pal may happily discuss quantum physics, it’s important to remember you have talents and traits that complement the friendship.\\nRemember your traits that your friend likes about you. Perhaps your buddy appreciates your irreverent sense of humor or uncanny ability to see the good in people. Bringing out these traits in yourself can reinforce your friendship.\\nUse humor if necessary. If your friend begins obsessing about something that goes over your head, bring the person back down by saying, “While you’re over there being a smarty pants, I think I just found a new adventure for us! Picture us doing ceramics over booze!”\\nDon't avoid saying something because you think she would \\\"Think that sounded dumb\\\" or it would \\\"Make you look like an idiot\\\" It's probably not that bad after all and if she is a friend she'll think the better of you anyway.\\n2-5. Be honest about doubts.\\nHonesty is also another cornerstone of any strong friendship, even with someone who is very intelligent. If you're worried that you're not smart enough for your intelligent friend, remember that the person seeks you out and values your friendship. Have an open discussion about your fears and insecurities in the friendship—you may find that your friend has similar fears.\\nBroach the subject with your friend in a non-confrontational manner. For example, you could say, “Sometimes when you go off on tangents like that I wonder why you want to be friends with me. I didn’t really understand what you said.”\\nTry to focus on your friendship and less on intelligence or a competition of your wits. Avoid letting yourself feel intimidated by your friend’s intelligence by reminding yourself that there are many things you can do better.\\n2-6. Be aware that intelligence doesn’t mean social competence.\\nThink about your friend and other intelligent people you know. You might realize that they’re not always great in social situations. In fact, many intelligent people suffer from social anxiety, which may be related to thinking or analyzing situations to much, psyching themselves out, or an inability to deal with emotions. Keeping the social hindrances your intelligent friend may have can help you better navigate your friendship and interactions you and your friend have with others.\\nHelp your intelligent friend deal with other people more effectively by supporting her or boosting her self-confidence in situations. For example, you could draw attention away from your friend’s intellect by saying “you know, Christina and I have been friends for 20 years and she wouldn’t tell you this, but she is a fantastic painter.”\\n2-7. Explain to your friend to others.\\nIf your friend hasn’t met your other friends or they’re meeting for the first time, consider cuing in other people about your intelligent friend. Some people may be offended by your friend’s intelligence or responses to situations and this could help them understand your friend better.\\nTell your other friends about your intelligent friend. Say, “I’m really excited to have you guys meet Simi. We’ve been friends for years and she’s really wonderful. I just wanted to let you know that she is incredibly smart and can sometimes come off a bit aloof. Just give yourself a chance to get to know her and I know you’ll love her as much as I do.”\\nRemind your friends that intelligence sometimes means social incompetence. You could say, “I’m really sorry my friend came off so arrogantly. She doesn’t always do well in social situations, but I can assure you she’s a really nice person if you give her a chance.”\\n2-8. Point out when your friend has gone too far.\\nIn some cases, your intelligent friend may get a bit too arrogant or even be rude with you or people who are maybe not as smart or talkative. If this happens, it’s a good idea to point the problem out to your friend and explain why what the person did cross the boundaries of acceptability.\\nAvoid embarrassing your friend if you can. Instead, point out the problem in private. You could say, “You know Sam, your response to Pat was really condescending and totally unnecessary. He doesn’t have it as easy as you when it comes to developing projects quickly and you should realize that not everyone is like you in that regard. You really need to be more sensitive and think about others in these situations.”\\nBreak any tension by making a sarcastic remark. For example say, “well, now that we all feel completely stupid, let’s figure out how to tackle this.” Not only can that help to smooth over any problems, but also cue your friend in to the mistake.\\nSupport your friend no matter what, even if you don’t support or agree with a situation. For example, if your friend is arrogant about intelligence with another person, you could support her by saying “I understand why you said what you did, but I might have been a bit more diplomatic in the way I said it.”\\nTips\\nRemember that you have special qualities, too. You may do certain things or know specific subjects better than your friend.\\nKeep in mind that just because a person is smarter than you does not mean they don't like you. If people are nice to you, be nice in return. If the person is mean or arrogant to you, consider moving on to others who value you.\\nBe aware that a high IQ does not mean the person is a genius in all things. If he's an artist, he may not have exceptional math skills or appreciate being treated like a pocket calculator. If she's a mathematician, she may not be superbly eloquent.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid teasing a friend with a high IQ. Chances are the person who was teased during childhoods and it may bring up bad memories. The individual may have even been severely bullied as a kid.\\nTry to avoid believing that your, intelligent friend can simply pull knowledge out of thin air or solve any problem that sounds technical. While she may be highly intelligent, that doesn't mean she knows everything, and being put on the spot like that can be very embarrassing. It is far better to ask than assume, and don't be surprised at what your friend doesn't know.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Friendship knows no bounds, especially when you’ve found someone who shares your interests and passions. Pals come in different sizes, shapes, and even IQs, or intelligence quotients. No matter your IQ, you can have a strong friendship with a person who has a high or even genius IQ if you work at deepening the friendship and navigate potential pitfalls of social interactions with highly intelligent people.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deepening Your Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on the person, not their intellect.\", \"描述\": \"If someone is very intelligent, chances are that others often focus only on the person’s intellect. Remember that your friend is just that—a friend and not a brain. Paying close attention to your friend and every aspect of her personality can help you enjoy spending time together and strengthen your friendship.\\nBe aware that individuals with higher IQs often have fewer friends and may have social anxiety. Because of this, you may want to focus on your friend in part by just doing things together without other people.\\nRemember that it’s acceptable to acknowledge your friend’s intellect, just don’t make it the center feature of your time together. Instead, consider doing activities and talking about things that you both enjoy.\\nAvoid believing stereotypes about your intelligent friend. She might not be as lively as your other friends, but that doesn’t mean that she is like a stiff, intelligent character from a television show, either.\\nTry to remember you're intelligent too, and while your intelligent friend might blow you off the map in her chosen field of expertise she is still a person. Out of her element, she is just as likely as you to make stupid blunders, get confused, and need some guidance, after all she is only human. And what human doesn't need help from a good friend from time to time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have meaningful exchanges.\", \"描述\": \"Talking is an important part of any friendship. It can make a person feel seen, appreciated, and supported. This is no different for someone who is intelligent. Keep chats and conversations with your intelligent friend going and incorporate subjects you both enjoy or issues either of you might be experiencing.\\nBe sure to listen intently to what your friend says and likes to discuss. This lets your friend know that you care about and are engaged in matters important to her life.\\nMake sure your conversations are a mix of lighthearted and serious topics. They may also be intellectual or completely silly. No person can have serious or intellectual conversations all the time and your friendship might be a great outlet for your friend’s sillier side. For example, if your friend mentions a funny TV show, ask about it and think of other shows that you can compare to it.\\nRemember to follow up any statements your friend makes with questions or a comment to show that you’re paying attention and care about the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shift the focus from your friend’s intellect.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is very smart or has a high IQ, the person may find that others only focus on that part of his or her personality. Remember that people are multifaceted and have many things to offer beyond intellect or other traits. Instead of focusing on your friend’s brainpower, forget about it. You can turn your attention to other things such as the person’s great sense of humor or activities both of you do. Not only does this keeps a conversation going, but it shows your friend that your interest is in more than his or her intellect.\\nThink about your friend’s personality before you meet the person. Ask yourself what other traits the person has and find ways to focus on these in your conversations. For example, you could say, “You’re such an adventurous eater! How do you not get squeamish? Would you like to go out to dinner sometime and show me?”\\nConsider being up front with your friend about focusing on the person’s intellect. You could say, “Ack, I love talking about smart things with you but it starts to hurt my brain after a while. Have you seen the ads for the latest romantic comedy that Nora Ephron made?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compromise to develop common interests.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to mention your own interests when chatting with your friend. This can guide the conversation and help your friend realize that you are not only interested in her brain. In addition, it can teach both of you to compromise as a way to develop your friendship.\\nUse your friend’s interests or comments as a way to mention your interests. For example, if your friend mentions wanting to see the latest Star Wars movie, use that as a way to say “I’m not really into sci-fi pictures, but love romantic comedies. But I’d be interested in seeing Star Wars and maybe changing my mind.” You could also say, “I love Vietnamese, too, but if we go there tonight can we try that happening new Mexican place next time?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build common experiences.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what your respective interests, try and do different things together as friends. You may find adventure, have a blast, and strengthen your friendship in the process.\\nDo activities both of you like. Let this guide you for future experiences that you can have together and which can strengthen your friendship. For example, suggest trying a new restaurant or experimenting in the kitchen together. You could also go skydiving or parasailing together.\\nConsider mixing serious and fun activities. For example, your friend might be a highly intelligent scientist. A trip to a local science museum might be a good way for you to understand about your friend’s talents, allow the person to shine, and even pique your interest. This might also help you and your friend navigate group dynamics in a positive way.\\nConsider taking day trips or vacations together. Relaxing together can strengthen your friendship and help both of you get past your friend’s brain. Make sure to build in some “me time” for each of you, which can be very important to an intelligent person.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain your independence.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, you may feel intimidated by a friend with a high IQ and assume that every decision they make is right and rational. However, it’s important that you continue to be yourself and assert your own views and opinions. This shows your friend that you have self-respect but will also respect her independence.\\nMake sure to give your friend space. Many intelligent people thrive at friendships in which they are not constantly with the other person. This gives you the option of being friends with other people, which can make you more well-rounded and socially intelligent.\\nBe confident and believe in your opinions. This may provide a basis for more meaningful conversations with your friend. If the person is truly your friend, she will value your opinion and give you the chance to express it without bullying you or making you feel stupid.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let your friend know that she matters.\", \"描述\": \"Every person wants to feel special and valued by friends, family, and peers. Intelligent people are no different. Make sure that your friend knows that you value every aspect of her personality and enjoy spending time together when you have the chance.\\nShow your happiness at your friend’s accomplishments, even if it comes to your detriment. The sign of a true friend is the ability to be genuinely happy no matter what. You can tell or write your friend a message that says “Great job” or “I’m so happy for you!”\\nBe open to your friend’s needs. There are times when others might make fun of your friend or she feels pressure to constantly perform because of her IQ. Listen to your friend’s concerns, figure out a way to address them, and then try to cheer up the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend to meet other friends.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to make a new friend is by meeting the friends of a friend. Consider inviting your friend with a high IQ to meet some of your other friends, which could offer her some new and different perspectives. Remember that many intelligent people don’t do well in large groups, so you may want to keep the group to a manageable 3 or 4 people to start.\\nKeep the mood as light as possible and don’t mention to your other friends anything about the person’s IQ. This might cause your friends to focus only on how smart your friend is and not value her as a multi-layered individual.\\nAsk your friend if she is interested in meeting your friends before putting together a group event. Your friend may feel more comfortable with just you. But your friend also may be very receptive to meeting some of your other friends.\\nMake sure your friends know that you enjoy your intelligent friend, even if the person comes off badly at your activity. Explain that your friend felt overwhelmed and a bit insecure around such exciting people and reverted to intelligence to cope.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Navigating Possible Difficulties\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept the positive—as well as the negative.\", \"描述\": \"No friend is one-dimensional, but instead a multi-layered individual. Part of being a good friend is accepting every part of your friend’s personality. Take the ups and downs in your friendship as they come, which can forge a better and stronger friendship.\\nBe understanding of the quirks that may come with an intelligent friend. Remember that she may be highly intelligent at math, but terrible at relating to other people. For example, if your friend feels threatened, she may fall back on her intelligence to boost her confidence. As long as your friend isn’t hurting another person, let this roll off your back.\\nBe understanding whenever your friend is in a bad mood, having a bad day, or socially awkward. You can always explain to others, “Normally she is really fun and easygoing but she’s under a lot of stress and it sometimes makes her a bit insecure and snarky. I hope you’ll have a chance to meet my friend at a better time.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember why you became friends.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it was sharing toys in the sandbox or bonding over a lab in college, there was some spark that started your friendship. Think about what bonds you and your friend if you are having difficulty in the friendship or can’t connect any longer.\\nThink about what you share in common. Did your love of World of Warcraft or interest in playing soccer spark a friendship? Were you both competitive in the spelling bee or Model UN at school? Or did you both have a job at a fast food restaurant? Whatever interests you shared in the past, draw on your common interests to keep your friendship strong.\\nPonder your pal’s personality in all of its dimensions. Is your intelligent friend also sensitive and kind, or does have strong insight and the ability to read others? Focus on the qualities that make this person special and not what upsets you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace your friend’s individuality.\", \"描述\": \"Gifted or highly intelligent individuals may exhibit unique characteristics such as being extremely creative and passionate about specific things. Your intelligent friend may also not approach problems or situations like other friends, which is part of what makes her an individual and special. Instead of being annoyed or even embarrassed by your friend’s personality, remember that her intelligence and its quirks are as much as a part of her as other traits. This can help strengthen your friendship.\\nAsk or remind your friend if the person acts quirky. You can do this in a humorous way by asking, “do you always have such spot on comebacks?” or “Could you teach me how to think that rapidly about stuff?”\\nRemember that every single friend you have, irrespective of the person’s intelligence, is an individual and has special traits and quirks that come with being human.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap into your special qualities, too.\", \"描述\": \"A friendship requires participation by two equal individuals, so keep in mind that you are as big a part of the friendship as your intelligent friend. While your pal may happily discuss quantum physics, it’s important to remember you have talents and traits that complement the friendship.\\nRemember your traits that your friend likes about you. Perhaps your buddy appreciates your irreverent sense of humor or uncanny ability to see the good in people. Bringing out these traits in yourself can reinforce your friendship.\\nUse humor if necessary. If your friend begins obsessing about something that goes over your head, bring the person back down by saying, “While you’re over there being a smarty pants, I think I just found a new adventure for us! Picture us doing ceramics over booze!”\\nDon't avoid saying something because you think she would \\\"Think that sounded dumb\\\" or it would \\\"Make you look like an idiot\\\" It's probably not that bad after all and if she is a friend she'll think the better of you anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be honest about doubts.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty is also another cornerstone of any strong friendship, even with someone who is very intelligent. If you're worried that you're not smart enough for your intelligent friend, remember that the person seeks you out and values your friendship. Have an open discussion about your fears and insecurities in the friendship—you may find that your friend has similar fears.\\nBroach the subject with your friend in a non-confrontational manner. For example, you could say, “Sometimes when you go off on tangents like that I wonder why you want to be friends with me. I didn’t really understand what you said.”\\nTry to focus on your friendship and less on intelligence or a competition of your wits. Avoid letting yourself feel intimidated by your friend’s intelligence by reminding yourself that there are many things you can do better.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be aware that intelligence doesn’t mean social competence.\", \"描述\": \"Think about your friend and other intelligent people you know. You might realize that they’re not always great in social situations. In fact, many intelligent people suffer from social anxiety, which may be related to thinking or analyzing situations to much, psyching themselves out, or an inability to deal with emotions. Keeping the social hindrances your intelligent friend may have can help you better navigate your friendship and interactions you and your friend have with others.\\nHelp your intelligent friend deal with other people more effectively by supporting her or boosting her self-confidence in situations. For example, you could draw attention away from your friend’s intellect by saying “you know, Christina and I have been friends for 20 years and she wouldn’t tell you this, but she is a fantastic painter.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Explain to your friend to others.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend hasn’t met your other friends or they’re meeting for the first time, consider cuing in other people about your intelligent friend. Some people may be offended by your friend’s intelligence or responses to situations and this could help them understand your friend better.\\nTell your other friends about your intelligent friend. Say, “I’m really excited to have you guys meet Simi. We’ve been friends for years and she’s really wonderful. I just wanted to let you know that she is incredibly smart and can sometimes come off a bit aloof. Just give yourself a chance to get to know her and I know you’ll love her as much as I do.”\\nRemind your friends that intelligence sometimes means social incompetence. You could say, “I’m really sorry my friend came off so arrogantly. She doesn’t always do well in social situations, but I can assure you she’s a really nice person if you give her a chance.”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Point out when your friend has gone too far.\", \"描述\": \"In some cases, your intelligent friend may get a bit too arrogant or even be rude with you or people who are maybe not as smart or talkative. If this happens, it’s a good idea to point the problem out to your friend and explain why what the person did cross the boundaries of acceptability.\\nAvoid embarrassing your friend if you can. Instead, point out the problem in private. You could say, “You know Sam, your response to Pat was really condescending and totally unnecessary. He doesn’t have it as easy as you when it comes to developing projects quickly and you should realize that not everyone is like you in that regard. You really need to be more sensitive and think about others in these situations.”\\nBreak any tension by making a sarcastic remark. For example say, “well, now that we all feel completely stupid, let’s figure out how to tackle this.” Not only can that help to smooth over any problems, but also cue your friend in to the mistake.\\nSupport your friend no matter what, even if you don’t support or agree with a situation. For example, if your friend is arrogant about intelligence with another person, you could support her by saying “I understand why you said what you did, but I might have been a bit more diplomatic in the way I said it.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that you have special qualities, too. You may do certain things or know specific subjects better than your friend.\\n\", \"Keep in mind that just because a person is smarter than you does not mean they don't like you. If people are nice to you, be nice in return. If the person is mean or arrogant to you, consider moving on to others who value you.\\n\", \"Be aware that a high IQ does not mean the person is a genius in all things. If he's an artist, he may not have exceptional math skills or appreciate being treated like a pocket calculator. If she's a mathematician, she may not be superbly eloquent.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid teasing a friend with a high IQ. Chances are the person who was teased during childhoods and it may bring up bad memories. The individual may have even been severely bullied as a kid.\\n\", \"Try to avoid believing that your, intelligent friend can simply pull knowledge out of thin air or solve any problem that sounds technical. While she may be highly intelligent, that doesn't mean she knows everything, and being put on the spot like that can be very embarrassing. It is far better to ask than assume, and don't be surprised at what your friend doesn't know.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,729 | How to Be Friends With Someone Who Talks Too Much | 1. Managing Excessive Talking
1-1. Don’t offer positive feedback.
You may wrongly assume that gratifying your friend with positive attention may help them finish up faster. It won’t. Placating them will probably only encourage them to talk longer. Instead, don’t give any positive feedback like saying “Ahh” or nodding your head.
1-2. Ask them to get to the point.
A long-winded friend may not know that they are boring you with their monologues. Once the chat becomes excessive, graciously ask them if they can wrap it up. This tactic would probably be inappropriate for someone you don’t know well, but it should be suitable and effective for a friend.
For example, you might say, “I’m sorry, you’re losing me. Can you summarize what you’re trying to say?”
1-3. Indicate that you’re short on time.
Let your friend know that you don’t have all the time in the world to listen to them talk. This might help you to become an active participant in the conversation or give you an opener to end the chat.
Say something along the lines of “I’d love to hear about your day, but I’m running late for an appointment. Can we start wrapping this up?”
You could also consider warning them at the beginning of a conversation that you have a limited amount of time to chat. Try letting them know, "I only have 5 minutes to talk right now, then I really have to get going."
1-4. Pull someone else into the conversation or change the subject.
If you and your friend are in a group setting, one technique is to take away their captive audience—you. Look away and engage with someone else in the group to signal to your friend that they have lost your interest.
Another option is to abruptly change the subject. This works best with an environmental stimulus, like telling another friend “Oh, I love your scarf! Did I tell you guys about the new scarves I bought last weekend?”
1-5. Get lost in thought.
If push comes to shove and you can’t seem to get away from a chatty Cathy, use your imagination. Recall the plot of your favorite book or movie. Review fast facts for an upcoming test in your head. Or think about what you’d like to have for dinner.
Note that this suggestion would probably be considered rude. However, if you have tried other options to no avail, this may be the only way to deal with a friend who talks too much. Also, your friend may not even notice that you’re not giving them your full attention.
1-6. Stop the conversation if needed.
As a last resort, you may have to jump ship on the conversation and end it abruptly. You can do this by reminding them of the time or saying you need to go to the restroom. Be sure not to return to the same environment when you’re done, however. If you do, they just might start back up again.
You might say something short and sweet, like “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
2. Getting a Chance to Talk
2-1. Listen for a while.
Exercise your active listening skills for a short time as your friend talks. As you’re listening, try to understand their message and give them your full attention. Also, think about their emotional experience and motives. Why are they so desperate to talk at you instead of with you?
Understanding what your friend is trying to communicate can help you address their needs and get a say in the conversation.
2-2. Interrupt politely.
Once you’ve had enough of listening and it’s clear you won’t be getting an opportunity to talk, butt in. You might wait for an obvious pause and then jump in with a response. Do so graciously. Ask if it’s okay if you say something or if they were finished.
For instance, you might start off by saying “Are you finished? I’d like to say something.”
Your friend may demand to finish talking. If so, let them.
2-3. Paraphrase what they were saying.
Proving that you're listening can give you an opportunity to start your side of the conversation. Give a brief summary of their message in your own words. Ask them if your understanding is correct.
For example, you might paraphrase by saying, “I thought I’d try to say back what you said to me to make sure I got it right. Is that okay?” Then go on to say something like, “It sounds like you were really frustrated about your score on the math test because you put a lot of effort into studying. You’re confused about what you did wrong. Is that right?”
2-4. Assert yourself if they try to interrupt.
As you’re trying to summarize, your friend may attempt to take over the conversation again. Politely ask them to wait.
You might say, “I listened to you. Please give me a chance to finish what I was saying.”
2-5. Relay a story or experience of your own.
To fully make yourself an equal participant in the conversation, follow up the paraphrasing by offering your own contribution to the conversation. You might use their experience as a benchmark to share a similar experience of yours.
For example, you might follow up with, “Once I took a Latin test that I thought I had done well on. When I got my score back, I had a 0. Turns out, I had misread the instructions, which made all of my answers wrong. Luckily, the teacher let me make up the test. Maybe you will be able to do the same thing.”
3. Managing the Friendship
3-1. Consider why your friend might like to talk.
Some people get chatty when they are nervous, some people struggle to read social cues, and some people just get excited. Try to be understanding of the many reasons your friend could be so talkative. This can help you better approach the subject in a positive and productive manner.
3-2. Skip the criticisms.
It’s true, your friend may be selfish or narcissistic, but it won’t benefit the friendship to label them. Avoid name-calling or criticisms at all costs—no matter how frustrated you become by your friend’s inconsiderate monologues.
3-3. Tell them how you feel.
If you want to maintain this friendship with your sanity intact, you will need to call attention to your friend’s bad communication habit. Speak up, gently.
Explain your issue with their chattiness by using “I” statements, which decrease the finger-pointing.
You might say, “I’m feeling a bit frustrated. Each time we get together, I feel like I can never really get a word in. I’d really appreciate it if we could start having more give and take in our conversations.”
3-4. Set firm boundaries.
If your friend is walking over you in conversation, they may be doing that in other ways, too. After you’ve brought up the matter of your friend dominating conversations, you can then set firm personal boundaries.
Think long and hard about how you would like to be treated by your friend. Then, verbalize these boundaries.
By speaking up about being steamrolled in conversation, you have already voiced one boundary with your friend.
3-5. Change the dynamic of the relationship.
If the current dynamic of your friendship isn’t working, change it. You can learn to accept your friend as they are. Or you can make some changes that are more tolerable for you, particularly if your friend isn’t respecting your boundaries.
Changes might include not hanging out with your friend as often, getting together as a group rather than one-on-one, or hanging out in certain contexts that limit talking (like the movies).
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:47",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Managing Excessive Talking\\n1-1. Don’t offer positive feedback.\\nYou may wrongly assume that gratifying your friend with positive attention may help them finish up faster. It won’t. Placating them will probably only encourage them to talk longer. Instead, don’t give any positive feedback like saying “Ahh” or nodding your head.\\n1-2. Ask them to get to the point.\\nA long-winded friend may not know that they are boring you with their monologues. Once the chat becomes excessive, graciously ask them if they can wrap it up. This tactic would probably be inappropriate for someone you don’t know well, but it should be suitable and effective for a friend.\\nFor example, you might say, “I’m sorry, you’re losing me. Can you summarize what you’re trying to say?”\\n1-3. Indicate that you’re short on time.\\nLet your friend know that you don’t have all the time in the world to listen to them talk. This might help you to become an active participant in the conversation or give you an opener to end the chat.\\nSay something along the lines of “I’d love to hear about your day, but I’m running late for an appointment. Can we start wrapping this up?”\\nYou could also consider warning them at the beginning of a conversation that you have a limited amount of time to chat. Try letting them know, \\\"I only have 5 minutes to talk right now, then I really have to get going.\\\"\\n1-4. Pull someone else into the conversation or change the subject.\\nIf you and your friend are in a group setting, one technique is to take away their captive audience—you. Look away and engage with someone else in the group to signal to your friend that they have lost your interest.\\nAnother option is to abruptly change the subject. This works best with an environmental stimulus, like telling another friend “Oh, I love your scarf! Did I tell you guys about the new scarves I bought last weekend?”\\n1-5. Get lost in thought.\\nIf push comes to shove and you can’t seem to get away from a chatty Cathy, use your imagination. Recall the plot of your favorite book or movie. Review fast facts for an upcoming test in your head. Or think about what you’d like to have for dinner.\\nNote that this suggestion would probably be considered rude. However, if you have tried other options to no avail, this may be the only way to deal with a friend who talks too much. Also, your friend may not even notice that you’re not giving them your full attention.\\n1-6. Stop the conversation if needed.\\nAs a last resort, you may have to jump ship on the conversation and end it abruptly. You can do this by reminding them of the time or saying you need to go to the restroom. Be sure not to return to the same environment when you’re done, however. If you do, they just might start back up again.\\nYou might say something short and sweet, like “I’m sorry. I have to go.”\\n2. Getting a Chance to Talk\\n2-1. Listen for a while.\\nExercise your active listening skills for a short time as your friend talks. As you’re listening, try to understand their message and give them your full attention. Also, think about their emotional experience and motives. Why are they so desperate to talk at you instead of with you? \\nUnderstanding what your friend is trying to communicate can help you address their needs and get a say in the conversation.\\n2-2. Interrupt politely.\\nOnce you’ve had enough of listening and it’s clear you won’t be getting an opportunity to talk, butt in. You might wait for an obvious pause and then jump in with a response. Do so graciously. Ask if it’s okay if you say something or if they were finished.\\nFor instance, you might start off by saying “Are you finished? I’d like to say something.”\\nYour friend may demand to finish talking. If so, let them.\\n2-3. Paraphrase what they were saying.\\nProving that you're listening can give you an opportunity to start your side of the conversation. Give a brief summary of their message in your own words. Ask them if your understanding is correct.\\nFor example, you might paraphrase by saying, “I thought I’d try to say back what you said to me to make sure I got it right. Is that okay?” Then go on to say something like, “It sounds like you were really frustrated about your score on the math test because you put a lot of effort into studying. You’re confused about what you did wrong. Is that right?”\\n2-4. Assert yourself if they try to interrupt.\\nAs you’re trying to summarize, your friend may attempt to take over the conversation again. Politely ask them to wait.\\nYou might say, “I listened to you. Please give me a chance to finish what I was saying.”\\n2-5. Relay a story or experience of your own.\\nTo fully make yourself an equal participant in the conversation, follow up the paraphrasing by offering your own contribution to the conversation. You might use their experience as a benchmark to share a similar experience of yours.\\nFor example, you might follow up with, “Once I took a Latin test that I thought I had done well on. When I got my score back, I had a 0. Turns out, I had misread the instructions, which made all of my answers wrong. Luckily, the teacher let me make up the test. Maybe you will be able to do the same thing.”\\n3. Managing the Friendship\\n3-1. Consider why your friend might like to talk.\\nSome people get chatty when they are nervous, some people struggle to read social cues, and some people just get excited. Try to be understanding of the many reasons your friend could be so talkative. This can help you better approach the subject in a positive and productive manner.\\n3-2. Skip the criticisms.\\nIt’s true, your friend may be selfish or narcissistic, but it won’t benefit the friendship to label them. Avoid name-calling or criticisms at all costs—no matter how frustrated you become by your friend’s inconsiderate monologues.\\n3-3. Tell them how you feel.\\nIf you want to maintain this friendship with your sanity intact, you will need to call attention to your friend’s bad communication habit. Speak up, gently.\\nExplain your issue with their chattiness by using “I” statements, which decrease the finger-pointing.\\nYou might say, “I’m feeling a bit frustrated. Each time we get together, I feel like I can never really get a word in. I’d really appreciate it if we could start having more give and take in our conversations.”\\n3-4. Set firm boundaries.\\nIf your friend is walking over you in conversation, they may be doing that in other ways, too. After you’ve brought up the matter of your friend dominating conversations, you can then set firm personal boundaries.\\nThink long and hard about how you would like to be treated by your friend. Then, verbalize these boundaries.\\nBy speaking up about being steamrolled in conversation, you have already voiced one boundary with your friend.\\n3-5. Change the dynamic of the relationship.\\nIf the current dynamic of your friendship isn’t working, change it. You can learn to accept your friend as they are. Or you can make some changes that are more tolerable for you, particularly if your friend isn’t respecting your boundaries.\\nChanges might include not hanging out with your friend as often, getting together as a group rather than one-on-one, or hanging out in certain contexts that limit talking (like the movies).\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have a chatty friend, you may notice yourself making statements like “Yea, but what I was trying to say earlier was…” quite often. This person may totally dominate your conversations and make it impossible to get a word in edgewise. A friend who talks too much can be a handful. But, you can learn to manage their chattiness, by using strategies to limit their talking and give yourself the opportunity to participate. In addition, it may be useful to tell your friend about their problem and set boundaries if they are not willing to change.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Managing Excessive Talking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t offer positive feedback.\", \"描述\": \"You may wrongly assume that gratifying your friend with positive attention may help them finish up faster. It won’t. Placating them will probably only encourage them to talk longer. Instead, don’t give any positive feedback like saying “Ahh” or nodding your head.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask them to get to the point.\", \"描述\": \"A long-winded friend may not know that they are boring you with their monologues. Once the chat becomes excessive, graciously ask them if they can wrap it up. This tactic would probably be inappropriate for someone you don’t know well, but it should be suitable and effective for a friend.\\nFor example, you might say, “I’m sorry, you’re losing me. Can you summarize what you’re trying to say?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Indicate that you’re short on time.\", \"描述\": \"Let your friend know that you don’t have all the time in the world to listen to them talk. This might help you to become an active participant in the conversation or give you an opener to end the chat.\\nSay something along the lines of “I’d love to hear about your day, but I’m running late for an appointment. Can we start wrapping this up?”\\nYou could also consider warning them at the beginning of a conversation that you have a limited amount of time to chat. Try letting them know, \\\"I only have 5 minutes to talk right now, then I really have to get going.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pull someone else into the conversation or change the subject.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your friend are in a group setting, one technique is to take away their captive audience—you. Look away and engage with someone else in the group to signal to your friend that they have lost your interest.\\nAnother option is to abruptly change the subject. This works best with an environmental stimulus, like telling another friend “Oh, I love your scarf! Did I tell you guys about the new scarves I bought last weekend?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get lost in thought.\", \"描述\": \"If push comes to shove and you can’t seem to get away from a chatty Cathy, use your imagination. Recall the plot of your favorite book or movie. Review fast facts for an upcoming test in your head. Or think about what you’d like to have for dinner.\\nNote that this suggestion would probably be considered rude. However, if you have tried other options to no avail, this may be the only way to deal with a friend who talks too much. Also, your friend may not even notice that you’re not giving them your full attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stop the conversation if needed.\", \"描述\": \"As a last resort, you may have to jump ship on the conversation and end it abruptly. You can do this by reminding them of the time or saying you need to go to the restroom. Be sure not to return to the same environment when you’re done, however. If you do, they just might start back up again.\\nYou might say something short and sweet, like “I’m sorry. I have to go.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting a Chance to Talk\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen for a while.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise your active listening skills for a short time as your friend talks. As you’re listening, try to understand their message and give them your full attention. Also, think about their emotional experience and motives. Why are they so desperate to talk at you instead of with you? \\nUnderstanding what your friend is trying to communicate can help you address their needs and get a say in the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interrupt politely.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve had enough of listening and it’s clear you won’t be getting an opportunity to talk, butt in. You might wait for an obvious pause and then jump in with a response. Do so graciously. Ask if it’s okay if you say something or if they were finished.\\nFor instance, you might start off by saying “Are you finished? I’d like to say something.”\\nYour friend may demand to finish talking. If so, let them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Paraphrase what they were saying.\", \"描述\": \"Proving that you're listening can give you an opportunity to start your side of the conversation. Give a brief summary of their message in your own words. Ask them if your understanding is correct.\\nFor example, you might paraphrase by saying, “I thought I’d try to say back what you said to me to make sure I got it right. Is that okay?” Then go on to say something like, “It sounds like you were really frustrated about your score on the math test because you put a lot of effort into studying. You’re confused about what you did wrong. Is that right?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Assert yourself if they try to interrupt.\", \"描述\": \"As you’re trying to summarize, your friend may attempt to take over the conversation again. Politely ask them to wait.\\nYou might say, “I listened to you. Please give me a chance to finish what I was saying.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Relay a story or experience of your own.\", \"描述\": \"To fully make yourself an equal participant in the conversation, follow up the paraphrasing by offering your own contribution to the conversation. You might use their experience as a benchmark to share a similar experience of yours.\\nFor example, you might follow up with, “Once I took a Latin test that I thought I had done well on. When I got my score back, I had a 0. Turns out, I had misread the instructions, which made all of my answers wrong. Luckily, the teacher let me make up the test. Maybe you will be able to do the same thing.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Managing the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider why your friend might like to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Some people get chatty when they are nervous, some people struggle to read social cues, and some people just get excited. Try to be understanding of the many reasons your friend could be so talkative. This can help you better approach the subject in a positive and productive manner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Skip the criticisms.\", \"描述\": \"It’s true, your friend may be selfish or narcissistic, but it won’t benefit the friendship to label them. Avoid name-calling or criticisms at all costs—no matter how frustrated you become by your friend’s inconsiderate monologues.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell them how you feel.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to maintain this friendship with your sanity intact, you will need to call attention to your friend’s bad communication habit. Speak up, gently.\\nExplain your issue with their chattiness by using “I” statements, which decrease the finger-pointing.\\nYou might say, “I’m feeling a bit frustrated. Each time we get together, I feel like I can never really get a word in. I’d really appreciate it if we could start having more give and take in our conversations.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set firm boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is walking over you in conversation, they may be doing that in other ways, too. After you’ve brought up the matter of your friend dominating conversations, you can then set firm personal boundaries.\\nThink long and hard about how you would like to be treated by your friend. Then, verbalize these boundaries.\\nBy speaking up about being steamrolled in conversation, you have already voiced one boundary with your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Change the dynamic of the relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If the current dynamic of your friendship isn’t working, change it. You can learn to accept your friend as they are. Or you can make some changes that are more tolerable for you, particularly if your friend isn’t respecting your boundaries.\\nChanges might include not hanging out with your friend as often, getting together as a group rather than one-on-one, or hanging out in certain contexts that limit talking (like the movies).\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,730 | How to Be Friends With Two People That Hate Each Other | 1. Staying Neutral in Your Friends' Disagreement
1-1. Explain to each friend that you are still friends with both of them.
Even though they may not like the other, it is not fair to either friend that you end your friendships just because they do not get along. Continue to spend time with both friends just as you would have before. Their conflict should not affect their treatment of you or your treatment of them.
Be honest with your friends. Tell them that because you care about and respect both of them, and do not want their conflict to have a negative impact on you, you will remain friends with each of them.
Do not show favoritism to either friend. For instance, do not sever ties with one friend at the behest of the other, or due to your own inability to remain neutral in the conflict. Do not spend more time with one than with the other. A good friend will spend equal time with each friend, despite the conflict between them.
Consider staying out of the situation entirely. You can be friends with both people without feeling like you need to manage their problem for them.
1-2. Emphasize that they must respect your decision.
When your friends ask you to take their side, or insist on an explanation as to why you will not support them against the other friend, stay firm. Remind them that you deserve to make your own decisions about your relationships and will not be pressured to do otherwise. Do not give in to threats or intimidation.
If Sam says “If you do not side with me and stop spending time with Armin, we will not be friends any longer,” relay your disappointment but stand your ground. Sam, like you, has choices to make about how he acts toward his friends and how much he values your company. If he chooses to give you up as a friend, it’s best to let him do so, as his actions reflect that he doesn't care for you as a friend should.
If your friend will not respect your decision and continues to pressure you into denouncing the other friend, or insisting that you agree with them, it might be best to limit contact with that individual. Let them know why, suggesting that “I look forward to spending time with you again when you are willing to accept my neutrality in this matter. I hope you understand that my decision to stay neutral is final.”
Choosing healthy, positive relationships means choosing friends who listen to and understand your point of view. If your friend cannot do so, they are failing as a friend. Let them know how you feel by saying “I’m sorry you cannot see my point of view. I feel that my decision is not being respected.”
Respect must be given as well as received. Be respectful to your friends who are in conflict. Do not pressure them into spending time together or reconciling before they are ready. Similarly, do not accuse them of being petty or stupid for fighting at all.
1-3. Listen to your friends.
Let them speak their minds. Allowing them to express their feelings can be cathartic. Knowing that someone has listened to, acknowledged and understood them can help them get over the conflict, or realize they were wrong.
Remember, listening to your friend is not the same as validating or agreeing with their point of view. If Sam starts ragging on Armin (or vice versa), insist that you are not taking sides, but you are glad to hear he is thinking about the problem between him and Armin. If Sam asks for your agreement, suggest that “If you feel that way, you should let Armin know. I am your friend as much as his, and I won’t take sides in this conflict.”
To start listening, stop talking. You cannot listen when you are constantly interjecting your point of view or telling the speaker they are wrong.
Put the speaker at ease with calming body language. Sitting down, putting your hands in your lap, and smiling go a long way toward creating a positive sharing environment.
Be patient when listening. Do not interrupt your friend when they speak. Not everyone can quickly and concisely summarize their feelings or point of view.
Think about what the speaker is saying. Ask yourself if you agree or disagree and why.
Follow up on what your friend said later; perhaps you can help him or her find a new perspective by asking them to clarify what they believe. Responding constructively to what your friend says will show them you care about their point of view.
1-4. Stay calm.
Never engage in criticism of your own. Even if you get mad at a friend for making acerbic comments, don’t lash out at them. Creating more conflicts will not resolve the dispute between your two friends, and may even make the dispute worse.
If you feel yourself becoming frustrated with your friend, excuse yourself. Say something like “I am frustrated by the way you are speaking. Let’s continue this conversation later.”
Try deep breathing techniques; slowly repeating a mantra or a relaxing phrase (“I am cerulean blue; I am a cool breeze”); or envision a peaceful scene such as a pine forest or snow-capped mountaintop.
Don’t act defensively if your friend starts blaming you or name-calling for your decision to remain friends with the other individual. Stay cool. Do not become angry just because he or she is angry. The problem is their attitude and perception, not you. Do not take their insults or bad attitude personally.
Use humor to defuse a tense situation. If you or your friend are getting really worked up over the conflict between your two friends, try to make a joke of the situation. Do not be sarcastic or caustic with your humor. Rather, employ some self-deprecation and a congenial tone to reevaluate the situation you and your two friends are in.
1-5. Refuse to act as a go-between.
If one friend asks you to pass a message on to the other, tell them they should bring it to the other friend directly. Instead of acting as a go-between, instruct your friend(s) to give you more information about what they want to say, and offer to help them find a great way to say it.
Acting as the messenger for one or another of the warring parties may bias the other against you.
Sam might, for instance, suppose that you were half-hearted or insincere in your extension of the peace offering or apology to Armin if Armin does not accept the offer of reconciliation.
Emphasize to both friends that reconciliation can only occur when both are willing to speak to each other directly and honestly.
Apologizing, forgiving, and trust-building can only be accomplished via direct communication between the two individuals involved in the conflict. Once these are achieved, the conflict often takes on a new dimension as the parties work towards a resolution.
1-6. Unless one friend is clearly wrong, do not take sides.
If this is just a personality clash, you can't make it better by taking sides. If one of them asks you to, or tries to make you feel guilty enough to do so, simply refuse. Say, "Hey, this is between you guys. I'm Switzerland."
Do not intervene in the substance of the dispute. When the subject is raised, try to change the direction of the conversation to something different. If you friend insists on speaking about it, let him or her do so, then remind them that you cannot support or takes sides in their conflict.
Typically, neutrality indicates that you are disinterested in the results of the conflict or the parties involved. However, as a friend of both parties, you may rightly have an interest in their conflict and hope they will resolve it amicably. There is no problem with this desire, since it is what good friends wish for one another.
1-7. Cultivate mindfulness to help you remain neutral.
Cultivating mindfulness can make you more aware of your own thoughts and biases. Mindfulness is a quality which instills peace of mind and a positive attitude in those who possess it, especially when they're making tough decisions or dealing with stressful situations. If you are mindful, you will be more aware of your feelings about the conflict between your two friends who hate each other. This can help you remain objective and neutral. You can gain mindfulness through yoga, tai chi, or mediation.
Mindfulness requires three skills:
Awareness. This means being alive to the moment and the things going on around you. When you are talking with your friends, enjoy their company. Do not dwell on the conflict between them since it is not occurring at that moment. Think about how much you enjoy being with them.
Responsibility. Responsibility requires a kind and generous attitude toward yourself and others. In a conflict between two friends, this means you should do what’s best for both parties involved. Empathize with each, speak and act without preference or judgment, and remain neutral.
Effort. This means acting on your awareness and responsibility. When two friends are fighting and you wish to remain neutral, making a big effort to do so will be difficult. You can continue to be neutral and build mindfulness by acknowledging that you are in a difficult position but must stay the course for the good of yourself and your friends.
Neutrality can seem like an impossibility. Everyone has biases, both conscious and unconscious. Being more aware of yours will help you overcome these biases.
2. Taking Sides if One of Your Friends is Right
2-1. Ask yourself if your wrong friend can accept the truth.
Some people will not be willing to hear the truth no matter what. Think about your friend’s personality in order to gauge whether informing them of your true feelings is a good idea.
Are they willing to accept criticism? Do they readily admit to being wrong when confronted with compelling evidence? Do they take responsibility for their actions when wrong? If so, sharing the truth with your friend is a good idea and will likely make a positive change.
If, conversely, your friend is frequently defensive and shifts blame onto others when confronted with evidence of his or her shortcomings, your honest efforts at helping them see that they were in error will be wasted.
In the case of a defensive friend, try to broach the subject in a variety of ways. If they don’t understand that what they did was wrong the first time you explain it, maybe they need to hear it a different way. Perhaps the first time you broach the subject, you’re indirect: “Do you think that what you said to Sam was kind?” If they blow you off, make a stronger declaration next time: “You were very rude to Sam. He deserves an apology.”
2-2. Be clear in your disapproval.
Do not try to qualify your point of view by agreeing half-heartedly to your friend’s insistence that the other person is wrong. Do not begin with a statement of praise before delivering the reality-check that your friend is in the wrong. Finally, do not employ phrases like “With all due respect” or “No offense, but...” Be direct and honest in your evaluation of your friend and explain why he or she is wrong.
For example, if Sam called Armin stupid directly or indirectly, and Armin (rightfully) refuses to hang out Sam, you should tell Sam “It was unkind and wrong of you to call Armin stupid. You owe him/her an apology . That’s the best way to put this conflict behind you.”
Do not cover up your feelings of disappointment or frustration. When you fail to express yourself to the person you have negative feelings toward, the feelings remain trapped, which leads to further frustration. You may experience a building sense of resentment, apathy, detachment, and disdain, either generally or towards the friend who you didn’t confess your feelings towards. To avoid the buildup of negative feelings, let the friend whose behavior you disapprove of know immediately.
You may worry that your friend will be displeased when you admit you do not support their previous action or offense against your other friend. This fear is unjustified, since openness and honesty between friends can strengthen the friendship.
2-3. Focus on the behavior, not the character.
Remind your friend that while they should not have spoken to, treated, or badmouthed your other friend in the way they did, you know they are still a good person. Emphasize to your wrong friend that they made a mistake, and that they can and should make amends.
Don’t make assumptions or generalizations about your friend’s personality. For instance, do not say “You don’t know how to deal with people.” Instead, say “You spoke rudely to Sam, and that was wrong.”
Emphasize that he or she can change. Encourage your friend to stay aware of how he or she might cause offense and avoid doing so in the future.
If your friend has difficulty changing a particular antagonistic or confrontational behavior, advise them to consult a therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy is especially useful in transforming negative behaviors. This type of therapy encourages individuals to actively consider their evaluation and processing of certain situations in order to help them adjust their emotions and behavior.
Ask your friend how you can help. Suggest that in the future, you point out similar behaviors in a nonjudgmental way.
2-4. Be kind.
Offer criticism in a gentle way. Do not call your friend names or raise your voice when explaining why you feel they are in the wrong. Conversely, do not shut them out or give them the silent treatment. Communicating your point of view in a healthy way will prevent the situation from escalating, and your friend might be more understanding of the person they were originally in conflict with when they hear your perspective.
Remember that the conflict between your two friends is not the end of the world. It is only one part of your whole friendship with each of them.
Understand that both you and your friend(s) may have valid points. Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best option. Tell your friend(s) “I would have handled the situation differently, but I see where you are coming from.”
When discussing sensitive issues with your friend like the conflict between him/her and another individual, be discrete. Do not bring it up in large social situations where others who are unaware of the conflict might learn of it or weigh in without understanding all the facts.
Friends should always be sensitive to each others feelings. Do not employ shame, blame, or a judgmental tone when speaking to your friend about the conflict.
3. Helping Your Friends Find a Resolution
3-1. Discover the sources of the conflict.
Why do your friends dislike one another? There might be one reason or many. Your friends may not get along because one or the other of them acted badly. Whatever the cause(s), identifying them is the first step toward resolution.
Ask each friend why the conflict began. Let's say you have two friends, Armin and Sam. Ask Sam why he dislikes Armin. Maybe Sam doesn't really have a reason, but just feels vaguely uncomfortable or uneasy around Armin. Go to Armin next. Repeat your question. From Armin, you learn that at some point, Sam said something that hurt Armin's feelings, or made him feel insulted. Maybe they had an argument over something. Whatever the case may be, armed with a basic understanding of the problem, you can try to work with them to resolve it.
Sometimes your friends may not tell you why the conflict began. Perhaps they both said or did something wrong and are afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to share it with you. In this case, with the permission of your friends, you might try to enlist the help of a third party trained in conflict management to investigate why the conflict between your friends began.
Many conflicts are caused by simple misunderstandings. Perhaps Sam failed to remember Armin’s birthday; perhaps he thought Armin badmouthed him behind his back. Helping your friends identify the roots of their conflict can empower them to move past it.
3-2. Explain how their conflict hurts you.
When your friends fight, you’re put in a difficult, and often stressful, position. After all, you must constantly watch what you say, choose how to balance your time, and endure hearing negative comments about one from the mouth of the other. If your friends understand this, they will be more willing to bury the hatchet.
Not talking about negative emotions like frustration, emotional hurt, or disappointment will only enlarge them. Talking to your friends about your feelings on their conflict is important not only for its potential to speed their swift resolution but for its ability to give you good mental health.
If your friend does not care about your feelings, and is unable to concern themselves with your feelings and point of view, don’t bother sharing them with that friend. You can detect this behaviour by listening to their response when you share your own perspective. For instance, you may explain to Sam that you feel stressed by his fight with Armin. If Sam replies that he, too feels stressed and does not appear to be acknowledging the psychic pain you’re experiencing, Sam is too self-centred. Limit spending your valuable time with such a person.
Do not blame or attack when expressing how you feel. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. In other words, instead of saying “You’re very inconsiderate and it stresses me out,” say “I feel very stressed by this whole situation.” Where the former sentence is accusatory and will inspire the listener to defend him or herself, the latter sentence is explanatory and personal, and engages the listener in dialogue.
If you have a hard time giving voice to what you feel, write it out before addressing your friends. This will allow you to explain yourself more fully without dealing the the pressure that sometimes comes from a face-to-face meeting.
3-3. Mediate the dispute.
When you mediate a situation, you act as a referee, trying to get the two of them to bring their problems and concerns out in the open with the goal of reconciliation. It can be a challenge, but is well worth it when two people who hate each other are finally able to set aside their anger and hate.
Bring both people to a neutral location. Do not meet in either of their homes. The one on "home turf" may feel they are the boss, and the one who is not will feel ill at ease. Private rooms in a library or school are good options.
Thank them both for meeting each other with the intent to settle their differences. Let them know that they are both important to you and you want to see them patch things up.
Lay the ground rules: interrupting each other, name-calling, yelling, and other emotional outbursts are forbidden. Insist each party acts with mutual respect and remains open-minded. Without these basic guidelines in place, the process could easily deteriorate into a shouting contest.
Encourage each party to speak their minds. Ensure the other listens carefully to the opposing perspective. If either side feels they are not being heard or the mediation effort is futile, they will not invest themselves in the process and it will be fruitless for all three of you.
Illustrate to them how similar they are. Find the common ground between them -- especially the fact that they are both friends of yours.
If it starts to turn ugly, put a stop to it. "All right, all right,” you might say. “It's pretty plain to see that you guys are not going to be able to work this out today. I plan to remain friends with both of you, so I hope that you will try to be civil to one another in the future."
If you do not believe you are unbiased enough to settle the dispute, identify and seek assistance from someone with the diplomatic skills who may be able to. A good conflict mediator will be neutral (evaluate the situation objectively); impartial (act without a stake in the outcome); and fair (approach each side in a balanced manner). Enlisting help of am unbiased third party who does not know either friend is a good idea if you do not want to mediate yourself.
3-4. Be patient.
Don't expect them to patch up everything overnight. If the first mediation is unsuccessful, don’t give up. Use the experience to plan another one.
Talk to each individual about their thoughts after the first mediation session. If you detect a softening of attitude or tone in both or either party, suggest a follow-up mediation in another week or so.
Continue to offer your support and friendship to both, and if one or another of your friends broaches the subject, express your continued hope that a positive resolution can be found.
Do not try to pressure either party into accepting a resolution they are unhappy with. This will either break down the resolution process entirely or cause one (or both) friends to feel resentful at having been “forced” into a bad deal.
3-5. Come to a resolution.
Brainstorm some possible resolutions with the interested parties. Each individual should have some input. Look for win-win solutions where both individuals walk away happy. For instance, if the problem is that Sam felt snubbed because Armin didn’t invite him to his party, suggest that Armin invite Sam to his next party as the guest of honor.
With all the possibilities in front of you, consider the pros and cons of each. Print a spreadsheet outlining each possibility with the pros and cons and distribute one to each friend.
Keep both friends focused on finding an outcome. Continue to push them toward compromise and give each individual equal time to speak. Paraphrase and ask questions of each friend’s statements at regular intervals to ensure you are understanding them correctly. Give each a chance to modify what they have to say if any confusion arises.
A lasting resolution must address both the substantive and emotional issues.
Substantive issues are objective facts which are not debatable. For instance, Armin crashed Sam’s car into a wall -- that’s a substantive issue and might be the central trigger which led to the conflict between them.
Sam felt betrayed and let down by Armin because he’d loaned Armin the car in good faith with the pledge that nothing would happen to it. Sam’s feelings of betrayal and disappointment are the emotional issues.
A resolution for a substantive issue, using the above example, might be Armin paying for the repairs to the damaged car. A resolution to the emotional issues might be Armin admitting his wrongdoing and apologizing to Sam, and Sam accepting that apology.
If one or the other of your friends won’t accept a resolution, return to the process of asking questions, listening to their reasoning, and understanding what their desires are. Listen to what they have to say and continue working with them toward a resolution.
Tips
Some people just don’t get along. Your friends don’t have to be friends with each other. Sometimes mutual civility is the most you can hope for.
If they put you in a difficult position just say you are on both sides and don't get involved in there fight too much or you might end up in it.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Neutral in Your Friends' Disagreement\\n1-1. Explain to each friend that you are still friends with both of them.\\nEven though they may not like the other, it is not fair to either friend that you end your friendships just because they do not get along. Continue to spend time with both friends just as you would have before. Their conflict should not affect their treatment of you or your treatment of them.\\nBe honest with your friends. Tell them that because you care about and respect both of them, and do not want their conflict to have a negative impact on you, you will remain friends with each of them.\\nDo not show favoritism to either friend. For instance, do not sever ties with one friend at the behest of the other, or due to your own inability to remain neutral in the conflict. Do not spend more time with one than with the other. A good friend will spend equal time with each friend, despite the conflict between them.\\nConsider staying out of the situation entirely. You can be friends with both people without feeling like you need to manage their problem for them.\\n1-2. Emphasize that they must respect your decision.\\nWhen your friends ask you to take their side, or insist on an explanation as to why you will not support them against the other friend, stay firm. Remind them that you deserve to make your own decisions about your relationships and will not be pressured to do otherwise. Do not give in to threats or intimidation.\\nIf Sam says “If you do not side with me and stop spending time with Armin, we will not be friends any longer,” relay your disappointment but stand your ground. Sam, like you, has choices to make about how he acts toward his friends and how much he values your company. If he chooses to give you up as a friend, it’s best to let him do so, as his actions reflect that he doesn't care for you as a friend should.\\nIf your friend will not respect your decision and continues to pressure you into denouncing the other friend, or insisting that you agree with them, it might be best to limit contact with that individual. Let them know why, suggesting that “I look forward to spending time with you again when you are willing to accept my neutrality in this matter. I hope you understand that my decision to stay neutral is final.”\\nChoosing healthy, positive relationships means choosing friends who listen to and understand your point of view. If your friend cannot do so, they are failing as a friend. Let them know how you feel by saying “I’m sorry you cannot see my point of view. I feel that my decision is not being respected.”\\nRespect must be given as well as received. Be respectful to your friends who are in conflict. Do not pressure them into spending time together or reconciling before they are ready. Similarly, do not accuse them of being petty or stupid for fighting at all.\\n1-3. Listen to your friends.\\nLet them speak their minds. Allowing them to express their feelings can be cathartic. Knowing that someone has listened to, acknowledged and understood them can help them get over the conflict, or realize they were wrong.\\nRemember, listening to your friend is not the same as validating or agreeing with their point of view. If Sam starts ragging on Armin (or vice versa), insist that you are not taking sides, but you are glad to hear he is thinking about the problem between him and Armin. If Sam asks for your agreement, suggest that “If you feel that way, you should let Armin know. I am your friend as much as his, and I won’t take sides in this conflict.”\\nTo start listening, stop talking. You cannot listen when you are constantly interjecting your point of view or telling the speaker they are wrong.\\nPut the speaker at ease with calming body language. Sitting down, putting your hands in your lap, and smiling go a long way toward creating a positive sharing environment.\\nBe patient when listening. Do not interrupt your friend when they speak. Not everyone can quickly and concisely summarize their feelings or point of view.\\nThink about what the speaker is saying. Ask yourself if you agree or disagree and why.\\nFollow up on what your friend said later; perhaps you can help him or her find a new perspective by asking them to clarify what they believe. Responding constructively to what your friend says will show them you care about their point of view.\\n1-4. Stay calm.\\nNever engage in criticism of your own. Even if you get mad at a friend for making acerbic comments, don’t lash out at them. Creating more conflicts will not resolve the dispute between your two friends, and may even make the dispute worse.\\nIf you feel yourself becoming frustrated with your friend, excuse yourself. Say something like “I am frustrated by the way you are speaking. Let’s continue this conversation later.”\\nTry deep breathing techniques; slowly repeating a mantra or a relaxing phrase (“I am cerulean blue; I am a cool breeze”); or envision a peaceful scene such as a pine forest or snow-capped mountaintop.\\nDon’t act defensively if your friend starts blaming you or name-calling for your decision to remain friends with the other individual. Stay cool. Do not become angry just because he or she is angry. The problem is their attitude and perception, not you. Do not take their insults or bad attitude personally. \\nUse humor to defuse a tense situation. If you or your friend are getting really worked up over the conflict between your two friends, try to make a joke of the situation. Do not be sarcastic or caustic with your humor. Rather, employ some self-deprecation and a congenial tone to reevaluate the situation you and your two friends are in.\\n1-5. Refuse to act as a go-between.\\nIf one friend asks you to pass a message on to the other, tell them they should bring it to the other friend directly. Instead of acting as a go-between, instruct your friend(s) to give you more information about what they want to say, and offer to help them find a great way to say it.\\nActing as the messenger for one or another of the warring parties may bias the other against you.\\nSam might, for instance, suppose that you were half-hearted or insincere in your extension of the peace offering or apology to Armin if Armin does not accept the offer of reconciliation.\\nEmphasize to both friends that reconciliation can only occur when both are willing to speak to each other directly and honestly.\\nApologizing, forgiving, and trust-building can only be accomplished via direct communication between the two individuals involved in the conflict. Once these are achieved, the conflict often takes on a new dimension as the parties work towards a resolution.\\n1-6. Unless one friend is clearly wrong, do not take sides.\\nIf this is just a personality clash, you can't make it better by taking sides. If one of them asks you to, or tries to make you feel guilty enough to do so, simply refuse. Say, \\\"Hey, this is between you guys. I'm Switzerland.\\\"\\nDo not intervene in the substance of the dispute. When the subject is raised, try to change the direction of the conversation to something different. If you friend insists on speaking about it, let him or her do so, then remind them that you cannot support or takes sides in their conflict.\\nTypically, neutrality indicates that you are disinterested in the results of the conflict or the parties involved. However, as a friend of both parties, you may rightly have an interest in their conflict and hope they will resolve it amicably. There is no problem with this desire, since it is what good friends wish for one another.\\n1-7. Cultivate mindfulness to help you remain neutral.\\nCultivating mindfulness can make you more aware of your own thoughts and biases. Mindfulness is a quality which instills peace of mind and a positive attitude in those who possess it, especially when they're making tough decisions or dealing with stressful situations. If you are mindful, you will be more aware of your feelings about the conflict between your two friends who hate each other. This can help you remain objective and neutral. You can gain mindfulness through yoga, tai chi, or mediation.\\nMindfulness requires three skills:\\nAwareness. This means being alive to the moment and the things going on around you. When you are talking with your friends, enjoy their company. Do not dwell on the conflict between them since it is not occurring at that moment. Think about how much you enjoy being with them.\\nResponsibility. Responsibility requires a kind and generous attitude toward yourself and others. In a conflict between two friends, this means you should do what’s best for both parties involved. Empathize with each, speak and act without preference or judgment, and remain neutral.\\nEffort. This means acting on your awareness and responsibility. When two friends are fighting and you wish to remain neutral, making a big effort to do so will be difficult. You can continue to be neutral and build mindfulness by acknowledging that you are in a difficult position but must stay the course for the good of yourself and your friends.\\n\\nNeutrality can seem like an impossibility. Everyone has biases, both conscious and unconscious. Being more aware of yours will help you overcome these biases.\\n2. Taking Sides if One of Your Friends is Right\\n2-1. Ask yourself if your wrong friend can accept the truth.\\nSome people will not be willing to hear the truth no matter what. Think about your friend’s personality in order to gauge whether informing them of your true feelings is a good idea.\\nAre they willing to accept criticism? Do they readily admit to being wrong when confronted with compelling evidence? Do they take responsibility for their actions when wrong? If so, sharing the truth with your friend is a good idea and will likely make a positive change.\\nIf, conversely, your friend is frequently defensive and shifts blame onto others when confronted with evidence of his or her shortcomings, your honest efforts at helping them see that they were in error will be wasted.\\nIn the case of a defensive friend, try to broach the subject in a variety of ways. If they don’t understand that what they did was wrong the first time you explain it, maybe they need to hear it a different way. Perhaps the first time you broach the subject, you’re indirect: “Do you think that what you said to Sam was kind?” If they blow you off, make a stronger declaration next time: “You were very rude to Sam. He deserves an apology.”\\n2-2. Be clear in your disapproval.\\nDo not try to qualify your point of view by agreeing half-heartedly to your friend’s insistence that the other person is wrong. Do not begin with a statement of praise before delivering the reality-check that your friend is in the wrong. Finally, do not employ phrases like “With all due respect” or “No offense, but...” Be direct and honest in your evaluation of your friend and explain why he or she is wrong.\\nFor example, if Sam called Armin stupid directly or indirectly, and Armin (rightfully) refuses to hang out Sam, you should tell Sam “It was unkind and wrong of you to call Armin stupid. You owe him/her an apology . That’s the best way to put this conflict behind you.”\\nDo not cover up your feelings of disappointment or frustration. When you fail to express yourself to the person you have negative feelings toward, the feelings remain trapped, which leads to further frustration. You may experience a building sense of resentment, apathy, detachment, and disdain, either generally or towards the friend who you didn’t confess your feelings towards. To avoid the buildup of negative feelings, let the friend whose behavior you disapprove of know immediately.\\nYou may worry that your friend will be displeased when you admit you do not support their previous action or offense against your other friend. This fear is unjustified, since openness and honesty between friends can strengthen the friendship.\\n2-3. Focus on the behavior, not the character.\\nRemind your friend that while they should not have spoken to, treated, or badmouthed your other friend in the way they did, you know they are still a good person. Emphasize to your wrong friend that they made a mistake, and that they can and should make amends.\\nDon’t make assumptions or generalizations about your friend’s personality. For instance, do not say “You don’t know how to deal with people.” Instead, say “You spoke rudely to Sam, and that was wrong.”\\nEmphasize that he or she can change. Encourage your friend to stay aware of how he or she might cause offense and avoid doing so in the future.\\nIf your friend has difficulty changing a particular antagonistic or confrontational behavior, advise them to consult a therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy is especially useful in transforming negative behaviors. This type of therapy encourages individuals to actively consider their evaluation and processing of certain situations in order to help them adjust their emotions and behavior.\\nAsk your friend how you can help. Suggest that in the future, you point out similar behaviors in a nonjudgmental way.\\n2-4. Be kind.\\nOffer criticism in a gentle way. Do not call your friend names or raise your voice when explaining why you feel they are in the wrong. Conversely, do not shut them out or give them the silent treatment. Communicating your point of view in a healthy way will prevent the situation from escalating, and your friend might be more understanding of the person they were originally in conflict with when they hear your perspective.\\nRemember that the conflict between your two friends is not the end of the world. It is only one part of your whole friendship with each of them.\\nUnderstand that both you and your friend(s) may have valid points. Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best option. Tell your friend(s) “I would have handled the situation differently, but I see where you are coming from.”\\nWhen discussing sensitive issues with your friend like the conflict between him/her and another individual, be discrete. Do not bring it up in large social situations where others who are unaware of the conflict might learn of it or weigh in without understanding all the facts.\\nFriends should always be sensitive to each others feelings. Do not employ shame, blame, or a judgmental tone when speaking to your friend about the conflict.\\n3. Helping Your Friends Find a Resolution\\n3-1. Discover the sources of the conflict.\\nWhy do your friends dislike one another? There might be one reason or many. Your friends may not get along because one or the other of them acted badly. Whatever the cause(s), identifying them is the first step toward resolution.\\nAsk each friend why the conflict began. Let's say you have two friends, Armin and Sam. Ask Sam why he dislikes Armin. Maybe Sam doesn't really have a reason, but just feels vaguely uncomfortable or uneasy around Armin. Go to Armin next. Repeat your question. From Armin, you learn that at some point, Sam said something that hurt Armin's feelings, or made him feel insulted. Maybe they had an argument over something. Whatever the case may be, armed with a basic understanding of the problem, you can try to work with them to resolve it.\\nSometimes your friends may not tell you why the conflict began. Perhaps they both said or did something wrong and are afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to share it with you. In this case, with the permission of your friends, you might try to enlist the help of a third party trained in conflict management to investigate why the conflict between your friends began.\\nMany conflicts are caused by simple misunderstandings. Perhaps Sam failed to remember Armin’s birthday; perhaps he thought Armin badmouthed him behind his back. Helping your friends identify the roots of their conflict can empower them to move past it.\\n3-2. Explain how their conflict hurts you.\\nWhen your friends fight, you’re put in a difficult, and often stressful, position. After all, you must constantly watch what you say, choose how to balance your time, and endure hearing negative comments about one from the mouth of the other. If your friends understand this, they will be more willing to bury the hatchet.\\nNot talking about negative emotions like frustration, emotional hurt, or disappointment will only enlarge them. Talking to your friends about your feelings on their conflict is important not only for its potential to speed their swift resolution but for its ability to give you good mental health.\\nIf your friend does not care about your feelings, and is unable to concern themselves with your feelings and point of view, don’t bother sharing them with that friend. You can detect this behaviour by listening to their response when you share your own perspective. For instance, you may explain to Sam that you feel stressed by his fight with Armin. If Sam replies that he, too feels stressed and does not appear to be acknowledging the psychic pain you’re experiencing, Sam is too self-centred. Limit spending your valuable time with such a person.\\nDo not blame or attack when expressing how you feel. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. In other words, instead of saying “You’re very inconsiderate and it stresses me out,” say “I feel very stressed by this whole situation.” Where the former sentence is accusatory and will inspire the listener to defend him or herself, the latter sentence is explanatory and personal, and engages the listener in dialogue.\\nIf you have a hard time giving voice to what you feel, write it out before addressing your friends. This will allow you to explain yourself more fully without dealing the the pressure that sometimes comes from a face-to-face meeting.\\n3-3. Mediate the dispute.\\nWhen you mediate a situation, you act as a referee, trying to get the two of them to bring their problems and concerns out in the open with the goal of reconciliation. It can be a challenge, but is well worth it when two people who hate each other are finally able to set aside their anger and hate.\\nBring both people to a neutral location. Do not meet in either of their homes. The one on \\\"home turf\\\" may feel they are the boss, and the one who is not will feel ill at ease. Private rooms in a library or school are good options.\\nThank them both for meeting each other with the intent to settle their differences. Let them know that they are both important to you and you want to see them patch things up.\\nLay the ground rules: interrupting each other, name-calling, yelling, and other emotional outbursts are forbidden. Insist each party acts with mutual respect and remains open-minded. Without these basic guidelines in place, the process could easily deteriorate into a shouting contest.\\nEncourage each party to speak their minds. Ensure the other listens carefully to the opposing perspective. If either side feels they are not being heard or the mediation effort is futile, they will not invest themselves in the process and it will be fruitless for all three of you.\\nIllustrate to them how similar they are. Find the common ground between them -- especially the fact that they are both friends of yours.\\nIf it starts to turn ugly, put a stop to it. \\\"All right, all right,” you might say. “It's pretty plain to see that you guys are not going to be able to work this out today. I plan to remain friends with both of you, so I hope that you will try to be civil to one another in the future.\\\"\\nIf you do not believe you are unbiased enough to settle the dispute, identify and seek assistance from someone with the diplomatic skills who may be able to. A good conflict mediator will be neutral (evaluate the situation objectively); impartial (act without a stake in the outcome); and fair (approach each side in a balanced manner). Enlisting help of am unbiased third party who does not know either friend is a good idea if you do not want to mediate yourself.\\n3-4. Be patient.\\nDon't expect them to patch up everything overnight. If the first mediation is unsuccessful, don’t give up. Use the experience to plan another one.\\nTalk to each individual about their thoughts after the first mediation session. If you detect a softening of attitude or tone in both or either party, suggest a follow-up mediation in another week or so.\\nContinue to offer your support and friendship to both, and if one or another of your friends broaches the subject, express your continued hope that a positive resolution can be found.\\nDo not try to pressure either party into accepting a resolution they are unhappy with. This will either break down the resolution process entirely or cause one (or both) friends to feel resentful at having been “forced” into a bad deal.\\n3-5. Come to a resolution.\\nBrainstorm some possible resolutions with the interested parties. Each individual should have some input. Look for win-win solutions where both individuals walk away happy. For instance, if the problem is that Sam felt snubbed because Armin didn’t invite him to his party, suggest that Armin invite Sam to his next party as the guest of honor.\\nWith all the possibilities in front of you, consider the pros and cons of each. Print a spreadsheet outlining each possibility with the pros and cons and distribute one to each friend.\\nKeep both friends focused on finding an outcome. Continue to push them toward compromise and give each individual equal time to speak. Paraphrase and ask questions of each friend’s statements at regular intervals to ensure you are understanding them correctly. Give each a chance to modify what they have to say if any confusion arises.\\nA lasting resolution must address both the substantive and emotional issues.\\nSubstantive issues are objective facts which are not debatable. For instance, Armin crashed Sam’s car into a wall -- that’s a substantive issue and might be the central trigger which led to the conflict between them.\\nSam felt betrayed and let down by Armin because he’d loaned Armin the car in good faith with the pledge that nothing would happen to it. Sam’s feelings of betrayal and disappointment are the emotional issues.\\n\\nA resolution for a substantive issue, using the above example, might be Armin paying for the repairs to the damaged car. A resolution to the emotional issues might be Armin admitting his wrongdoing and apologizing to Sam, and Sam accepting that apology.\\nIf one or the other of your friends won’t accept a resolution, return to the process of asking questions, listening to their reasoning, and understanding what their desires are. Listen to what they have to say and continue working with them toward a resolution.\\nTips\\nSome people just don’t get along. Your friends don’t have to be friends with each other. Sometimes mutual civility is the most you can hope for.\\nIf they put you in a difficult position just say you are on both sides and don't get involved in there fight too much or you might end up in it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Friendship is tough! Finding loyal friends you can really count on and be yourself with is always a challenge. But an equal challenge is having great friends that you care for, and who care for you, but who don’t care for each other. By treating both with respect and showing them their common ground, you will help them learn to get along.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Neutral in Your Friends' Disagreement\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain to each friend that you are still friends with both of them.\", \"描述\": \"Even though they may not like the other, it is not fair to either friend that you end your friendships just because they do not get along. Continue to spend time with both friends just as you would have before. Their conflict should not affect their treatment of you or your treatment of them.\\nBe honest with your friends. Tell them that because you care about and respect both of them, and do not want their conflict to have a negative impact on you, you will remain friends with each of them.\\nDo not show favoritism to either friend. For instance, do not sever ties with one friend at the behest of the other, or due to your own inability to remain neutral in the conflict. Do not spend more time with one than with the other. A good friend will spend equal time with each friend, despite the conflict between them.\\nConsider staying out of the situation entirely. You can be friends with both people without feeling like you need to manage their problem for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Emphasize that they must respect your decision.\", \"描述\": \"When your friends ask you to take their side, or insist on an explanation as to why you will not support them against the other friend, stay firm. Remind them that you deserve to make your own decisions about your relationships and will not be pressured to do otherwise. Do not give in to threats or intimidation.\\nIf Sam says “If you do not side with me and stop spending time with Armin, we will not be friends any longer,” relay your disappointment but stand your ground. Sam, like you, has choices to make about how he acts toward his friends and how much he values your company. If he chooses to give you up as a friend, it’s best to let him do so, as his actions reflect that he doesn't care for you as a friend should.\\nIf your friend will not respect your decision and continues to pressure you into denouncing the other friend, or insisting that you agree with them, it might be best to limit contact with that individual. Let them know why, suggesting that “I look forward to spending time with you again when you are willing to accept my neutrality in this matter. I hope you understand that my decision to stay neutral is final.”\\nChoosing healthy, positive relationships means choosing friends who listen to and understand your point of view. If your friend cannot do so, they are failing as a friend. Let them know how you feel by saying “I’m sorry you cannot see my point of view. I feel that my decision is not being respected.”\\nRespect must be given as well as received. Be respectful to your friends who are in conflict. Do not pressure them into spending time together or reconciling before they are ready. Similarly, do not accuse them of being petty or stupid for fighting at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Let them speak their minds. Allowing them to express their feelings can be cathartic. Knowing that someone has listened to, acknowledged and understood them can help them get over the conflict, or realize they were wrong.\\nRemember, listening to your friend is not the same as validating or agreeing with their point of view. If Sam starts ragging on Armin (or vice versa), insist that you are not taking sides, but you are glad to hear he is thinking about the problem between him and Armin. If Sam asks for your agreement, suggest that “If you feel that way, you should let Armin know. I am your friend as much as his, and I won’t take sides in this conflict.”\\nTo start listening, stop talking. You cannot listen when you are constantly interjecting your point of view or telling the speaker they are wrong.\\nPut the speaker at ease with calming body language. Sitting down, putting your hands in your lap, and smiling go a long way toward creating a positive sharing environment.\\nBe patient when listening. Do not interrupt your friend when they speak. Not everyone can quickly and concisely summarize their feelings or point of view.\\nThink about what the speaker is saying. Ask yourself if you agree or disagree and why.\\nFollow up on what your friend said later; perhaps you can help him or her find a new perspective by asking them to clarify what they believe. Responding constructively to what your friend says will show them you care about their point of view.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Never engage in criticism of your own. Even if you get mad at a friend for making acerbic comments, don’t lash out at them. Creating more conflicts will not resolve the dispute between your two friends, and may even make the dispute worse.\\nIf you feel yourself becoming frustrated with your friend, excuse yourself. Say something like “I am frustrated by the way you are speaking. Let’s continue this conversation later.”\\nTry deep breathing techniques; slowly repeating a mantra or a relaxing phrase (“I am cerulean blue; I am a cool breeze”); or envision a peaceful scene such as a pine forest or snow-capped mountaintop.\\nDon’t act defensively if your friend starts blaming you or name-calling for your decision to remain friends with the other individual. Stay cool. Do not become angry just because he or she is angry. The problem is their attitude and perception, not you. Do not take their insults or bad attitude personally. \\nUse humor to defuse a tense situation. If you or your friend are getting really worked up over the conflict between your two friends, try to make a joke of the situation. Do not be sarcastic or caustic with your humor. Rather, employ some self-deprecation and a congenial tone to reevaluate the situation you and your two friends are in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Refuse to act as a go-between.\", \"描述\": \"If one friend asks you to pass a message on to the other, tell them they should bring it to the other friend directly. Instead of acting as a go-between, instruct your friend(s) to give you more information about what they want to say, and offer to help them find a great way to say it.\\nActing as the messenger for one or another of the warring parties may bias the other against you.\\nSam might, for instance, suppose that you were half-hearted or insincere in your extension of the peace offering or apology to Armin if Armin does not accept the offer of reconciliation.\\nEmphasize to both friends that reconciliation can only occur when both are willing to speak to each other directly and honestly.\\nApologizing, forgiving, and trust-building can only be accomplished via direct communication between the two individuals involved in the conflict. Once these are achieved, the conflict often takes on a new dimension as the parties work towards a resolution.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Unless one friend is clearly wrong, do not take sides.\", \"描述\": \"If this is just a personality clash, you can't make it better by taking sides. If one of them asks you to, or tries to make you feel guilty enough to do so, simply refuse. Say, \\\"Hey, this is between you guys. I'm Switzerland.\\\"\\nDo not intervene in the substance of the dispute. When the subject is raised, try to change the direction of the conversation to something different. If you friend insists on speaking about it, let him or her do so, then remind them that you cannot support or takes sides in their conflict.\\nTypically, neutrality indicates that you are disinterested in the results of the conflict or the parties involved. However, as a friend of both parties, you may rightly have an interest in their conflict and hope they will resolve it amicably. There is no problem with this desire, since it is what good friends wish for one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Cultivate mindfulness to help you remain neutral.\", \"描述\": \"Cultivating mindfulness can make you more aware of your own thoughts and biases. Mindfulness is a quality which instills peace of mind and a positive attitude in those who possess it, especially when they're making tough decisions or dealing with stressful situations. If you are mindful, you will be more aware of your feelings about the conflict between your two friends who hate each other. This can help you remain objective and neutral. You can gain mindfulness through yoga, tai chi, or mediation.\\nMindfulness requires three skills:\\nAwareness. This means being alive to the moment and the things going on around you. When you are talking with your friends, enjoy their company. Do not dwell on the conflict between them since it is not occurring at that moment. Think about how much you enjoy being with them.\\nResponsibility. Responsibility requires a kind and generous attitude toward yourself and others. In a conflict between two friends, this means you should do what’s best for both parties involved. Empathize with each, speak and act without preference or judgment, and remain neutral.\\nEffort. This means acting on your awareness and responsibility. When two friends are fighting and you wish to remain neutral, making a big effort to do so will be difficult. You can continue to be neutral and build mindfulness by acknowledging that you are in a difficult position but must stay the course for the good of yourself and your friends.\\n\\nNeutrality can seem like an impossibility. Everyone has biases, both conscious and unconscious. Being more aware of yours will help you overcome these biases.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Sides if One of Your Friends is Right\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if your wrong friend can accept the truth.\", \"描述\": \"Some people will not be willing to hear the truth no matter what. Think about your friend’s personality in order to gauge whether informing them of your true feelings is a good idea.\\nAre they willing to accept criticism? Do they readily admit to being wrong when confronted with compelling evidence? Do they take responsibility for their actions when wrong? If so, sharing the truth with your friend is a good idea and will likely make a positive change.\\nIf, conversely, your friend is frequently defensive and shifts blame onto others when confronted with evidence of his or her shortcomings, your honest efforts at helping them see that they were in error will be wasted.\\nIn the case of a defensive friend, try to broach the subject in a variety of ways. If they don’t understand that what they did was wrong the first time you explain it, maybe they need to hear it a different way. Perhaps the first time you broach the subject, you’re indirect: “Do you think that what you said to Sam was kind?” If they blow you off, make a stronger declaration next time: “You were very rude to Sam. He deserves an apology.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be clear in your disapproval.\", \"描述\": \"Do not try to qualify your point of view by agreeing half-heartedly to your friend’s insistence that the other person is wrong. Do not begin with a statement of praise before delivering the reality-check that your friend is in the wrong. Finally, do not employ phrases like “With all due respect” or “No offense, but...” Be direct and honest in your evaluation of your friend and explain why he or she is wrong.\\nFor example, if Sam called Armin stupid directly or indirectly, and Armin (rightfully) refuses to hang out Sam, you should tell Sam “It was unkind and wrong of you to call Armin stupid. You owe him/her an apology . That’s the best way to put this conflict behind you.”\\nDo not cover up your feelings of disappointment or frustration. When you fail to express yourself to the person you have negative feelings toward, the feelings remain trapped, which leads to further frustration. You may experience a building sense of resentment, apathy, detachment, and disdain, either generally or towards the friend who you didn’t confess your feelings towards. To avoid the buildup of negative feelings, let the friend whose behavior you disapprove of know immediately.\\nYou may worry that your friend will be displeased when you admit you do not support their previous action or offense against your other friend. This fear is unjustified, since openness and honesty between friends can strengthen the friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on the behavior, not the character.\", \"描述\": \"Remind your friend that while they should not have spoken to, treated, or badmouthed your other friend in the way they did, you know they are still a good person. Emphasize to your wrong friend that they made a mistake, and that they can and should make amends.\\nDon’t make assumptions or generalizations about your friend’s personality. For instance, do not say “You don’t know how to deal with people.” Instead, say “You spoke rudely to Sam, and that was wrong.”\\nEmphasize that he or she can change. Encourage your friend to stay aware of how he or she might cause offense and avoid doing so in the future.\\nIf your friend has difficulty changing a particular antagonistic or confrontational behavior, advise them to consult a therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy is especially useful in transforming negative behaviors. This type of therapy encourages individuals to actively consider their evaluation and processing of certain situations in order to help them adjust their emotions and behavior.\\nAsk your friend how you can help. Suggest that in the future, you point out similar behaviors in a nonjudgmental way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind.\", \"描述\": \"Offer criticism in a gentle way. Do not call your friend names or raise your voice when explaining why you feel they are in the wrong. Conversely, do not shut them out or give them the silent treatment. Communicating your point of view in a healthy way will prevent the situation from escalating, and your friend might be more understanding of the person they were originally in conflict with when they hear your perspective.\\nRemember that the conflict between your two friends is not the end of the world. It is only one part of your whole friendship with each of them.\\nUnderstand that both you and your friend(s) may have valid points. Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best option. Tell your friend(s) “I would have handled the situation differently, but I see where you are coming from.”\\nWhen discussing sensitive issues with your friend like the conflict between him/her and another individual, be discrete. Do not bring it up in large social situations where others who are unaware of the conflict might learn of it or weigh in without understanding all the facts.\\nFriends should always be sensitive to each others feelings. Do not employ shame, blame, or a judgmental tone when speaking to your friend about the conflict.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Helping Your Friends Find a Resolution\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discover the sources of the conflict.\", \"描述\": \"Why do your friends dislike one another? There might be one reason or many. Your friends may not get along because one or the other of them acted badly. Whatever the cause(s), identifying them is the first step toward resolution.\\nAsk each friend why the conflict began. Let's say you have two friends, Armin and Sam. Ask Sam why he dislikes Armin. Maybe Sam doesn't really have a reason, but just feels vaguely uncomfortable or uneasy around Armin. Go to Armin next. Repeat your question. From Armin, you learn that at some point, Sam said something that hurt Armin's feelings, or made him feel insulted. Maybe they had an argument over something. Whatever the case may be, armed with a basic understanding of the problem, you can try to work with them to resolve it.\\nSometimes your friends may not tell you why the conflict began. Perhaps they both said or did something wrong and are afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to share it with you. In this case, with the permission of your friends, you might try to enlist the help of a third party trained in conflict management to investigate why the conflict between your friends began.\\nMany conflicts are caused by simple misunderstandings. Perhaps Sam failed to remember Armin’s birthday; perhaps he thought Armin badmouthed him behind his back. Helping your friends identify the roots of their conflict can empower them to move past it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain how their conflict hurts you.\", \"描述\": \"When your friends fight, you’re put in a difficult, and often stressful, position. After all, you must constantly watch what you say, choose how to balance your time, and endure hearing negative comments about one from the mouth of the other. If your friends understand this, they will be more willing to bury the hatchet.\\nNot talking about negative emotions like frustration, emotional hurt, or disappointment will only enlarge them. Talking to your friends about your feelings on their conflict is important not only for its potential to speed their swift resolution but for its ability to give you good mental health.\\nIf your friend does not care about your feelings, and is unable to concern themselves with your feelings and point of view, don’t bother sharing them with that friend. You can detect this behaviour by listening to their response when you share your own perspective. For instance, you may explain to Sam that you feel stressed by his fight with Armin. If Sam replies that he, too feels stressed and does not appear to be acknowledging the psychic pain you’re experiencing, Sam is too self-centred. Limit spending your valuable time with such a person.\\nDo not blame or attack when expressing how you feel. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. In other words, instead of saying “You’re very inconsiderate and it stresses me out,” say “I feel very stressed by this whole situation.” Where the former sentence is accusatory and will inspire the listener to defend him or herself, the latter sentence is explanatory and personal, and engages the listener in dialogue.\\nIf you have a hard time giving voice to what you feel, write it out before addressing your friends. This will allow you to explain yourself more fully without dealing the the pressure that sometimes comes from a face-to-face meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mediate the dispute.\", \"描述\": \"When you mediate a situation, you act as a referee, trying to get the two of them to bring their problems and concerns out in the open with the goal of reconciliation. It can be a challenge, but is well worth it when two people who hate each other are finally able to set aside their anger and hate.\\nBring both people to a neutral location. Do not meet in either of their homes. The one on \\\"home turf\\\" may feel they are the boss, and the one who is not will feel ill at ease. Private rooms in a library or school are good options.\\nThank them both for meeting each other with the intent to settle their differences. Let them know that they are both important to you and you want to see them patch things up.\\nLay the ground rules: interrupting each other, name-calling, yelling, and other emotional outbursts are forbidden. Insist each party acts with mutual respect and remains open-minded. Without these basic guidelines in place, the process could easily deteriorate into a shouting contest.\\nEncourage each party to speak their minds. Ensure the other listens carefully to the opposing perspective. If either side feels they are not being heard or the mediation effort is futile, they will not invest themselves in the process and it will be fruitless for all three of you.\\nIllustrate to them how similar they are. Find the common ground between them -- especially the fact that they are both friends of yours.\\nIf it starts to turn ugly, put a stop to it. \\\"All right, all right,” you might say. “It's pretty plain to see that you guys are not going to be able to work this out today. I plan to remain friends with both of you, so I hope that you will try to be civil to one another in the future.\\\"\\nIf you do not believe you are unbiased enough to settle the dispute, identify and seek assistance from someone with the diplomatic skills who may be able to. A good conflict mediator will be neutral (evaluate the situation objectively); impartial (act without a stake in the outcome); and fair (approach each side in a balanced manner). Enlisting help of am unbiased third party who does not know either friend is a good idea if you do not want to mediate yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Don't expect them to patch up everything overnight. If the first mediation is unsuccessful, don’t give up. Use the experience to plan another one.\\nTalk to each individual about their thoughts after the first mediation session. If you detect a softening of attitude or tone in both or either party, suggest a follow-up mediation in another week or so.\\nContinue to offer your support and friendship to both, and if one or another of your friends broaches the subject, express your continued hope that a positive resolution can be found.\\nDo not try to pressure either party into accepting a resolution they are unhappy with. This will either break down the resolution process entirely or cause one (or both) friends to feel resentful at having been “forced” into a bad deal.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Come to a resolution.\", \"描述\": \"Brainstorm some possible resolutions with the interested parties. Each individual should have some input. Look for win-win solutions where both individuals walk away happy. For instance, if the problem is that Sam felt snubbed because Armin didn’t invite him to his party, suggest that Armin invite Sam to his next party as the guest of honor.\\nWith all the possibilities in front of you, consider the pros and cons of each. Print a spreadsheet outlining each possibility with the pros and cons and distribute one to each friend.\\nKeep both friends focused on finding an outcome. Continue to push them toward compromise and give each individual equal time to speak. Paraphrase and ask questions of each friend’s statements at regular intervals to ensure you are understanding them correctly. Give each a chance to modify what they have to say if any confusion arises.\\nA lasting resolution must address both the substantive and emotional issues.\\nSubstantive issues are objective facts which are not debatable. For instance, Armin crashed Sam’s car into a wall -- that’s a substantive issue and might be the central trigger which led to the conflict between them.\\nSam felt betrayed and let down by Armin because he’d loaned Armin the car in good faith with the pledge that nothing would happen to it. Sam’s feelings of betrayal and disappointment are the emotional issues.\\n\\nA resolution for a substantive issue, using the above example, might be Armin paying for the repairs to the damaged car. A resolution to the emotional issues might be Armin admitting his wrongdoing and apologizing to Sam, and Sam accepting that apology.\\nIf one or the other of your friends won’t accept a resolution, return to the process of asking questions, listening to their reasoning, and understanding what their desires are. Listen to what they have to say and continue working with them toward a resolution.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Some people just don’t get along. Your friends don’t have to be friends with each other. Sometimes mutual civility is the most you can hope for.\\n\", \"If they put you in a difficult position just say you are on both sides and don't get involved in there fight too much or you might end up in it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,731 | How to Be Friends With Your Ex Boyfriend | 1. Achieving Post-Breakup Peace
1-1. Recognize that not all exes are friend material.
There are are a variety of reasons for not becoming friends with an ex-boyfriend. He may still have his heart set on you - in this case, hanging out with him as a mere friend is cruel. The opposite may be true - if you're still into him, you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment. Finally, your breakup may have been because of something so serious that it's impossible to look at each other without resentment. If either of you has been deeply hurt, give each other a wide berth.
Even if he's calm, emotionally stable, and your history doesn't contain any gaping wounds, you simply might not want to see your ex again. This is Exes don't necessarily have to be friends.
1-2. Give him time.
Even the cleanest breakups can be the cause of hard feelings for both parties. Immediately after a breakup, there's a chance he'll be sad or angry. This is no time to approach him as a friend. Wait for his emotional waters to settle before proceeding.
Similarly, listen to your own heart. If you've still got lingering anger or you're a little depressed, give yourself some time to settle before you make contact.
The length of time you spend apart from each other after a breakup will likely depend on the circumstances of the breakup itself. "Messier" breakups can require months or even years before your feelings have calmed to the point where a normal, friendly relationship is possible.
1-3. Work on yourself.
The period after a breakup is a great opportunity for reflection and self-improvement. After you've given your emotions some time to normalize, spend the time you previously spent with your boyfriend on yourself instead. Devote yourself to your hobbies or schoolwork. Spend time learning a new skill. Do things you like to do, alone or with friends. By improving yourself, you're also restoring your self-confidence and your sense of self-reliance, which will make it much easier to start new friendships (and, coincidentally, romances.)
After a few weeks of self-improvement, you may find that you don't even think about your ex anymore! This will make it much easier to either start a new friendship with him or ignore him entirely - whichever you choose.
1-4. Make contact.
After you've spent some serious time on yourself and you feel ready to take the plunge, call, text, email, or otherwise contact your ex. Test the waters gently - you may want to talk to one of his friends first to get a sense of his emotional state beforehand. Keep things as light as possible - don't talk about your old relationship or your break up. Just say that you haven't seen him in a long time and you'd like to casually meet up. If you're truly "over it", this should be the truth!
If your ex doesn't immediately respond to your attempts to make contact, don't try again right away. He may not have progressed past the relationship as quickly as you have. Give him more time.
Whatever you do, don't leave dozens of messages on his phone! If you feel the temptation to do this, you're almost certainly not ready for a friendship yet.
2. Starting a New Friendship
2-1. Spend time with him (cautiously.)
Hang out with your ex on small social outings. At first, keep hang outs short and modest - a trip to a cafe or an art museum, for instance. Keep a full schedule (or at least pretend to.) If things get awkward, you can always use the excuse that you're running late for something else to get out of there!
don't do anything together that can be construed as a date. Don't stay out late, drink alcohol, or go dancing. You could find yourself falling for each other again, and if you haven't fixed the things that led to your breakup, you'll be setting yourself up for future heartbreak. Worse, you could ruin any new romances either of you has started with other people.
Set clear boundaries for your relationship with your ex so you don't fall back into old patterns.
2-2. Tell him directly that you want to be friends.
Your ex might be confused about your intentions if you're not perfectly clear with him about what you want. Simply say, "I hope we can still be friends" or ask the question "We're still friends, right?" leave this issue unaddressed - if you're vague about what you want from your new relationship, he might think you're trying to get back together with him. Spare yourself some terrible drama by being open and honest with him from the get-go.
2-3. Don't pretend that nothing's changed.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to act like nothing's happened after a breakup. Doing so gives off the impression that you never cared. It can really hurt his feelings - at this point, that shouldn't be something you're trying to do. After you make contact, acknowledge your breakup without dwelling on it. You might try using phrases like these:
"I'm so glad I got to see you again."
"I really hope you're doing better. I am."
"I want to move on and start over as friends."
2-4. Tell other people that you're just friends.
If his friends knew about your old relationship, they'll be curious to know what's going on. If you have any reason to suspect he won't be honest with his friends, don't let him spin them a lie. Tell them you're looking to be friends with him and nothing more. If they hear from him that you're desperate to get back together but they hear from you that you're not, they'll probably (correctly) assume that he's the desperate one.
This has an added benefit - he'll probably talk to his friends, and they'll tell him that you said your relationship is only a friendly one. If he sees that you're defining your relationship in platonic terms in front of other people, he'll have a greater incentive to respect your opinion.
If you have a new boyfriend or he has a new girlfriend, be sure to make your friendly intentions clear to these people Even if you do, feelings of jealousy may be unavoidable - if so, you'll have to weigh these against your new friendship with your ex.
2-5. Show that you still care about him.
Make sure that he knows he can still turn to you when he's feeling down. If he is having a bad day, talk to him. Show him that you still care for his feelings. However, do this as a friend would - don't hold him, hug him, or do anything else that might rouse old feelings. Instead, offer to talk to him - often, he'll appreciate being able to talk about his problems to someone who understands him well.
Conversely, let him (respectfully) show that he cares about you. He probably does. Accept his good wishes and talk to him if you need to, but don't let him use your vulnerability as an excuse to get into your heart again.
3. Making a Repaired Relationship Last
3-1. Know the signs that show he's still into you.
It's difficult for anyone to suddenly view someone they used to love as a mere platonic friend. Some people simply can't do it. If your ex boyfriend is showing any of the following behavior, you may want to consider giving him more time to move on:
Calling or texting you regularly without a specific reason
Constantly talking to your friends
Making inappropriate, overly-intimate jokes or references
Bringing up things about your old relationship
Touching or brushing up against you, accidentally or otherwise
3-2. Explain things very clearly to a new BF.
If you've gotten a new boyfriend since you broke up with your ex, the situation becomes substantially more complex. Even the most understanding boyfriends will likely be a little jealous at first. Some may never stop being jealous. The best you can do is to clearly and calmly explain that you're not "into" your old ex. Explain to your current boyfriend that you love him only and that you're just looking for harmless, inconsequential fun with the ex - nothing more. Make it very, very clear that you don't (even better if you say that you can't ) think of your ex in "that way" any more.
Your ex will also need to have this conversation with his new significant other, if he has one.
Don't do anything to give your new boyfriend any reason to suspect foul play. For instance, don't stay out later than you said you would until he becomes comfortable with you hanging around your ex. However, if your new boyfriend is acting very paranoid about your new friendship (constantly texting you for updates while you're hanging out with the ex, etc.), it's OK to dress him down. If you've given him no reason not to trust you, you deserve his trust.
3-3. Don't fall into old patterns.
If you want to be friends with an ex, do not do the things you used to do when you were dating. If you do, you're inviting inappropriate feelings of infidelity (if you have a new boyfriend) and setting yourself up for a "relapse" and possible heartbreak. Start anew - take the opportunity to experience new sights and activities as friends.
Avoid locations you used to visit - don't go to the restaurant you used to get breakfast at or the bar where you first met.
Refuse to participate in the activities you used to do together - if he invites you to feed the ducks at the park like you used to do every Sunday, tell him you'd rather meet for coffee.
3-4. Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting.
Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. If you encounter these things, they may be signs that you and your ex aren't ready to be friends yet.
If you get sad or angry around your ex despite both of you projecting a happy exterior, or if you always feel that you want to say more to him than you can politely say, your problems might not be sorted out yet. Take some time off from your friendship.
Conversely, if he seems moody or irritable or he won't talk to you about anything meaningful despite his willingness to meet, he's probably thinking about your old relationship and/or the things that led you to break up. You can ask him if he is, but be warned that this can push him towards irrational anger or sadness.
3-5. Allow your relationship to gradually deepen.
Over time, you may grow close to each other again. Take things slowly - only allow your friendship to mature when doing so seems natural. Establish boundaries for yourself early on - things you won't do or talk about with this person - and only lift the boundaries when you're sure you can trust him
Equally likely is the possibility that you find you don't like being friends with your ex! In this case, just stop hanging out with him, but be warned - he might not give up as easily. Awkward feelings of clingy-ness are, unfortunately, a very real possibility when trying to start a friendship with an ex.
Tips
If someone asks what's going on between both of you, this is a golden opportunity to say "Oh we're friends." That will get you where you want to be.
Tell jokes and make him smile.
Talk to him like you would your best friend.
Warnings
Don't try to be friends with him if he has done something bad to you that ended the relationship. This will make you look like a sucker for punishment.
Depending on how bad the relationship ended, you might not be able to be friends with him again.
Don't ever talk to him about old times, as this might put some awkward moments in your conversations with him and might ruin your goal.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Achieving Post-Breakup Peace\\n1-1. Recognize that not all exes are friend material.\\nThere are are a variety of reasons for not becoming friends with an ex-boyfriend. He may still have his heart set on you - in this case, hanging out with him as a mere friend is cruel. The opposite may be true - if you're still into him, you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment. Finally, your breakup may have been because of something so serious that it's impossible to look at each other without resentment. If either of you has been deeply hurt, give each other a wide berth.\\nEven if he's calm, emotionally stable, and your history doesn't contain any gaping wounds, you simply might not want to see your ex again. This is Exes don't necessarily have to be friends.\\n1-2. Give him time.\\nEven the cleanest breakups can be the cause of hard feelings for both parties. Immediately after a breakup, there's a chance he'll be sad or angry. This is no time to approach him as a friend. Wait for his emotional waters to settle before proceeding.\\nSimilarly, listen to your own heart. If you've still got lingering anger or you're a little depressed, give yourself some time to settle before you make contact.\\nThe length of time you spend apart from each other after a breakup will likely depend on the circumstances of the breakup itself. \\\"Messier\\\" breakups can require months or even years before your feelings have calmed to the point where a normal, friendly relationship is possible.\\n1-3. Work on yourself.\\nThe period after a breakup is a great opportunity for reflection and self-improvement. After you've given your emotions some time to normalize, spend the time you previously spent with your boyfriend on yourself instead. Devote yourself to your hobbies or schoolwork. Spend time learning a new skill. Do things you like to do, alone or with friends. By improving yourself, you're also restoring your self-confidence and your sense of self-reliance, which will make it much easier to start new friendships (and, coincidentally, romances.)\\nAfter a few weeks of self-improvement, you may find that you don't even think about your ex anymore! This will make it much easier to either start a new friendship with him or ignore him entirely - whichever you choose.\\n1-4. Make contact.\\nAfter you've spent some serious time on yourself and you feel ready to take the plunge, call, text, email, or otherwise contact your ex. Test the waters gently - you may want to talk to one of his friends first to get a sense of his emotional state beforehand. Keep things as light as possible - don't talk about your old relationship or your break up. Just say that you haven't seen him in a long time and you'd like to casually meet up. If you're truly \\\"over it\\\", this should be the truth!\\nIf your ex doesn't immediately respond to your attempts to make contact, don't try again right away. He may not have progressed past the relationship as quickly as you have. Give him more time.\\nWhatever you do, don't leave dozens of messages on his phone! If you feel the temptation to do this, you're almost certainly not ready for a friendship yet.\\n2. Starting a New Friendship\\n2-1. Spend time with him (cautiously.)\\nHang out with your ex on small social outings. At first, keep hang outs short and modest - a trip to a cafe or an art museum, for instance. Keep a full schedule (or at least pretend to.) If things get awkward, you can always use the excuse that you're running late for something else to get out of there!\\n\\n don't do anything together that can be construed as a date. Don't stay out late, drink alcohol, or go dancing. You could find yourself falling for each other again, and if you haven't fixed the things that led to your breakup, you'll be setting yourself up for future heartbreak. Worse, you could ruin any new romances either of you has started with other people.\\nSet clear boundaries for your relationship with your ex so you don't fall back into old patterns.\\n2-2. Tell him directly that you want to be friends.\\nYour ex might be confused about your intentions if you're not perfectly clear with him about what you want. Simply say, \\\"I hope we can still be friends\\\" or ask the question \\\"We're still friends, right?\\\" leave this issue unaddressed - if you're vague about what you want from your new relationship, he might think you're trying to get back together with him. Spare yourself some terrible drama by being open and honest with him from the get-go.\\n2-3. Don't pretend that nothing's changed.\\nOne of the biggest mistakes you can make is to act like nothing's happened after a breakup. Doing so gives off the impression that you never cared. It can really hurt his feelings - at this point, that shouldn't be something you're trying to do. After you make contact, acknowledge your breakup without dwelling on it. You might try using phrases like these:\\n\\\"I'm so glad I got to see you again.\\\"\\n\\\"I really hope you're doing better. I am.\\\"\\n\\\"I want to move on and start over as friends.\\\"\\n2-4. Tell other people that you're just friends.\\nIf his friends knew about your old relationship, they'll be curious to know what's going on. If you have any reason to suspect he won't be honest with his friends, don't let him spin them a lie. Tell them you're looking to be friends with him and nothing more. If they hear from him that you're desperate to get back together but they hear from you that you're not, they'll probably (correctly) assume that he's the desperate one.\\nThis has an added benefit - he'll probably talk to his friends, and they'll tell him that you said your relationship is only a friendly one. If he sees that you're defining your relationship in platonic terms in front of other people, he'll have a greater incentive to respect your opinion.\\nIf you have a new boyfriend or he has a new girlfriend, be sure to make your friendly intentions clear to these people Even if you do, feelings of jealousy may be unavoidable - if so, you'll have to weigh these against your new friendship with your ex.\\n2-5. Show that you still care about him.\\nMake sure that he knows he can still turn to you when he's feeling down. If he is having a bad day, talk to him. Show him that you still care for his feelings. However, do this as a friend would - don't hold him, hug him, or do anything else that might rouse old feelings. Instead, offer to talk to him - often, he'll appreciate being able to talk about his problems to someone who understands him well.\\nConversely, let him (respectfully) show that he cares about you. He probably does. Accept his good wishes and talk to him if you need to, but don't let him use your vulnerability as an excuse to get into your heart again.\\n3. Making a Repaired Relationship Last\\n3-1. Know the signs that show he's still into you.\\nIt's difficult for anyone to suddenly view someone they used to love as a mere platonic friend. Some people simply can't do it. If your ex boyfriend is showing any of the following behavior, you may want to consider giving him more time to move on:\\nCalling or texting you regularly without a specific reason\\nConstantly talking to your friends\\nMaking inappropriate, overly-intimate jokes or references\\nBringing up things about your old relationship\\nTouching or brushing up against you, accidentally or otherwise\\n3-2. Explain things very clearly to a new BF.\\nIf you've gotten a new boyfriend since you broke up with your ex, the situation becomes substantially more complex. Even the most understanding boyfriends will likely be a little jealous at first. Some may never stop being jealous. The best you can do is to clearly and calmly explain that you're not \\\"into\\\" your old ex. Explain to your current boyfriend that you love him only and that you're just looking for harmless, inconsequential fun with the ex - nothing more. Make it very, very clear that you don't (even better if you say that you can't ) think of your ex in \\\"that way\\\" any more.\\nYour ex will also need to have this conversation with his new significant other, if he has one.\\nDon't do anything to give your new boyfriend any reason to suspect foul play. For instance, don't stay out later than you said you would until he becomes comfortable with you hanging around your ex. However, if your new boyfriend is acting very paranoid about your new friendship (constantly texting you for updates while you're hanging out with the ex, etc.), it's OK to dress him down. If you've given him no reason not to trust you, you deserve his trust.\\n3-3. Don't fall into old patterns.\\nIf you want to be friends with an ex, do not do the things you used to do when you were dating. If you do, you're inviting inappropriate feelings of infidelity (if you have a new boyfriend) and setting yourself up for a \\\"relapse\\\" and possible heartbreak. Start anew - take the opportunity to experience new sights and activities as friends.\\nAvoid locations you used to visit - don't go to the restaurant you used to get breakfast at or the bar where you first met.\\nRefuse to participate in the activities you used to do together - if he invites you to feed the ducks at the park like you used to do every Sunday, tell him you'd rather meet for coffee.\\n3-4. Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting.\\nInitial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. If you encounter these things, they may be signs that you and your ex aren't ready to be friends yet.\\nIf you get sad or angry around your ex despite both of you projecting a happy exterior, or if you always feel that you want to say more to him than you can politely say, your problems might not be sorted out yet. Take some time off from your friendship.\\nConversely, if he seems moody or irritable or he won't talk to you about anything meaningful despite his willingness to meet, he's probably thinking about your old relationship and/or the things that led you to break up. You can ask him if he is, but be warned that this can push him towards irrational anger or sadness.\\n3-5. Allow your relationship to gradually deepen.\\nOver time, you may grow close to each other again. Take things slowly - only allow your friendship to mature when doing so seems natural. Establish boundaries for yourself early on - things you won't do or talk about with this person - and only lift the boundaries when you're sure you can trust him\\nEqually likely is the possibility that you find you don't like being friends with your ex! In this case, just stop hanging out with him, but be warned - he might not give up as easily. Awkward feelings of clingy-ness are, unfortunately, a very real possibility when trying to start a friendship with an ex.\\nTips\\nIf someone asks what's going on between both of you, this is a golden opportunity to say \\\"Oh we're friends.\\\" That will get you where you want to be.\\nTell jokes and make him smile.\\nTalk to him like you would your best friend.\\nWarnings\\nDon't try to be friends with him if he has done something bad to you that ended the relationship. This will make you look like a sucker for punishment.\\nDepending on how bad the relationship ended, you might not be able to be friends with him again.\\nDon't ever talk to him about old times, as this might put some awkward moments in your conversations with him and might ruin your goal.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Women, men, boyfriends, girlfriends, family members, relationship experts, and talking heads all disagree on whether former lovers can ever truly be friends after a relationship. Opinions are, apparently, split almost evenly: a 2004 NBC poll found about 48% of respondents remained friends with their ex after a relationship. To some, friendship with an ex is natural. To others, it's a fool's errand and an invitation for further heartbreak. Your success will depend on your individual personalities and shared history, but if you're ready to give it a shot with your ex, read on!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Achieving Post-Breakup Peace\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize that not all exes are friend material.\", \"描述\": \"There are are a variety of reasons for not becoming friends with an ex-boyfriend. He may still have his heart set on you - in this case, hanging out with him as a mere friend is cruel. The opposite may be true - if you're still into him, you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment. Finally, your breakup may have been because of something so serious that it's impossible to look at each other without resentment. If either of you has been deeply hurt, give each other a wide berth.\\nEven if he's calm, emotionally stable, and your history doesn't contain any gaping wounds, you simply might not want to see your ex again. This is Exes don't necessarily have to be friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give him time.\", \"描述\": \"Even the cleanest breakups can be the cause of hard feelings for both parties. Immediately after a breakup, there's a chance he'll be sad or angry. This is no time to approach him as a friend. Wait for his emotional waters to settle before proceeding.\\nSimilarly, listen to your own heart. If you've still got lingering anger or you're a little depressed, give yourself some time to settle before you make contact.\\nThe length of time you spend apart from each other after a breakup will likely depend on the circumstances of the breakup itself. \\\"Messier\\\" breakups can require months or even years before your feelings have calmed to the point where a normal, friendly relationship is possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The period after a breakup is a great opportunity for reflection and self-improvement. After you've given your emotions some time to normalize, spend the time you previously spent with your boyfriend on yourself instead. Devote yourself to your hobbies or schoolwork. Spend time learning a new skill. Do things you like to do, alone or with friends. By improving yourself, you're also restoring your self-confidence and your sense of self-reliance, which will make it much easier to start new friendships (and, coincidentally, romances.)\\nAfter a few weeks of self-improvement, you may find that you don't even think about your ex anymore! This will make it much easier to either start a new friendship with him or ignore him entirely - whichever you choose.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make contact.\", \"描述\": \"After you've spent some serious time on yourself and you feel ready to take the plunge, call, text, email, or otherwise contact your ex. Test the waters gently - you may want to talk to one of his friends first to get a sense of his emotional state beforehand. Keep things as light as possible - don't talk about your old relationship or your break up. Just say that you haven't seen him in a long time and you'd like to casually meet up. If you're truly \\\"over it\\\", this should be the truth!\\nIf your ex doesn't immediately respond to your attempts to make contact, don't try again right away. He may not have progressed past the relationship as quickly as you have. Give him more time.\\nWhatever you do, don't leave dozens of messages on his phone! If you feel the temptation to do this, you're almost certainly not ready for a friendship yet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Starting a New Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time with him (cautiously.)\", \"描述\": \"Hang out with your ex on small social outings. At first, keep hang outs short and modest - a trip to a cafe or an art museum, for instance. Keep a full schedule (or at least pretend to.) If things get awkward, you can always use the excuse that you're running late for something else to get out of there!\\n\\n don't do anything together that can be construed as a date. Don't stay out late, drink alcohol, or go dancing. You could find yourself falling for each other again, and if you haven't fixed the things that led to your breakup, you'll be setting yourself up for future heartbreak. Worse, you could ruin any new romances either of you has started with other people.\\nSet clear boundaries for your relationship with your ex so you don't fall back into old patterns.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell him directly that you want to be friends.\", \"描述\": \"Your ex might be confused about your intentions if you're not perfectly clear with him about what you want. Simply say, \\\"I hope we can still be friends\\\" or ask the question \\\"We're still friends, right?\\\" leave this issue unaddressed - if you're vague about what you want from your new relationship, he might think you're trying to get back together with him. Spare yourself some terrible drama by being open and honest with him from the get-go.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't pretend that nothing's changed.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to act like nothing's happened after a breakup. Doing so gives off the impression that you never cared. It can really hurt his feelings - at this point, that shouldn't be something you're trying to do. After you make contact, acknowledge your breakup without dwelling on it. You might try using phrases like these:\\n\\\"I'm so glad I got to see you again.\\\"\\n\\\"I really hope you're doing better. I am.\\\"\\n\\\"I want to move on and start over as friends.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell other people that you're just friends.\", \"描述\": \"If his friends knew about your old relationship, they'll be curious to know what's going on. If you have any reason to suspect he won't be honest with his friends, don't let him spin them a lie. Tell them you're looking to be friends with him and nothing more. If they hear from him that you're desperate to get back together but they hear from you that you're not, they'll probably (correctly) assume that he's the desperate one.\\nThis has an added benefit - he'll probably talk to his friends, and they'll tell him that you said your relationship is only a friendly one. If he sees that you're defining your relationship in platonic terms in front of other people, he'll have a greater incentive to respect your opinion.\\nIf you have a new boyfriend or he has a new girlfriend, be sure to make your friendly intentions clear to these people Even if you do, feelings of jealousy may be unavoidable - if so, you'll have to weigh these against your new friendship with your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show that you still care about him.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that he knows he can still turn to you when he's feeling down. If he is having a bad day, talk to him. Show him that you still care for his feelings. However, do this as a friend would - don't hold him, hug him, or do anything else that might rouse old feelings. Instead, offer to talk to him - often, he'll appreciate being able to talk about his problems to someone who understands him well.\\nConversely, let him (respectfully) show that he cares about you. He probably does. Accept his good wishes and talk to him if you need to, but don't let him use your vulnerability as an excuse to get into your heart again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making a Repaired Relationship Last\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know the signs that show he's still into you.\", \"描述\": \"It's difficult for anyone to suddenly view someone they used to love as a mere platonic friend. Some people simply can't do it. If your ex boyfriend is showing any of the following behavior, you may want to consider giving him more time to move on:\\nCalling or texting you regularly without a specific reason\\nConstantly talking to your friends\\nMaking inappropriate, overly-intimate jokes or references\\nBringing up things about your old relationship\\nTouching or brushing up against you, accidentally or otherwise\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain things very clearly to a new BF.\", \"描述\": \"If you've gotten a new boyfriend since you broke up with your ex, the situation becomes substantially more complex. Even the most understanding boyfriends will likely be a little jealous at first. Some may never stop being jealous. The best you can do is to clearly and calmly explain that you're not \\\"into\\\" your old ex. Explain to your current boyfriend that you love him only and that you're just looking for harmless, inconsequential fun with the ex - nothing more. Make it very, very clear that you don't (even better if you say that you can't ) think of your ex in \\\"that way\\\" any more.\\nYour ex will also need to have this conversation with his new significant other, if he has one.\\nDon't do anything to give your new boyfriend any reason to suspect foul play. For instance, don't stay out later than you said you would until he becomes comfortable with you hanging around your ex. However, if your new boyfriend is acting very paranoid about your new friendship (constantly texting you for updates while you're hanging out with the ex, etc.), it's OK to dress him down. If you've given him no reason not to trust you, you deserve his trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't fall into old patterns.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be friends with an ex, do not do the things you used to do when you were dating. If you do, you're inviting inappropriate feelings of infidelity (if you have a new boyfriend) and setting yourself up for a \\\"relapse\\\" and possible heartbreak. Start anew - take the opportunity to experience new sights and activities as friends.\\nAvoid locations you used to visit - don't go to the restaurant you used to get breakfast at or the bar where you first met.\\nRefuse to participate in the activities you used to do together - if he invites you to feed the ducks at the park like you used to do every Sunday, tell him you'd rather meet for coffee.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting.\", \"描述\": \"Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. If you encounter these things, they may be signs that you and your ex aren't ready to be friends yet.\\nIf you get sad or angry around your ex despite both of you projecting a happy exterior, or if you always feel that you want to say more to him than you can politely say, your problems might not be sorted out yet. Take some time off from your friendship.\\nConversely, if he seems moody or irritable or he won't talk to you about anything meaningful despite his willingness to meet, he's probably thinking about your old relationship and/or the things that led you to break up. You can ask him if he is, but be warned that this can push him towards irrational anger or sadness.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Allow your relationship to gradually deepen.\", \"描述\": \"Over time, you may grow close to each other again. Take things slowly - only allow your friendship to mature when doing so seems natural. Establish boundaries for yourself early on - things you won't do or talk about with this person - and only lift the boundaries when you're sure you can trust him\\nEqually likely is the possibility that you find you don't like being friends with your ex! In this case, just stop hanging out with him, but be warned - he might not give up as easily. Awkward feelings of clingy-ness are, unfortunately, a very real possibility when trying to start a friendship with an ex.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If someone asks what's going on between both of you, this is a golden opportunity to say \\\"Oh we're friends.\\\" That will get you where you want to be.\\n\", \"Tell jokes and make him smile.\\n\", \"Talk to him like you would your best friend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't try to be friends with him if he has done something bad to you that ended the relationship. This will make you look like a sucker for punishment.\\n\", \"Depending on how bad the relationship ended, you might not be able to be friends with him again.\\n\", \"Don't ever talk to him about old times, as this might put some awkward moments in your conversations with him and might ruin your goal.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,732 | How to Be Friends With a Lesbian | 1. Consider why your friend's orientation would even matter to you.
Does it change your opinion of her?
Do you have some fears or preconceptions about lesbians that make you feel uncomfortable? Or perhaps you have romantic feelings towards her? Unpack your feelings and why/if your friend's sexuality bothers you.
2. If you're a girl, don't assume she is attracted to you.
This is a common misconception between girls with a lesbian friend.
Lesbians (or anyone) aren't attracted to everyone of a certain gender just because of their sexuality. She's not attracted to all women just because she's lesbian.
3. Respect her sexuality and privacy.
If she doesn't want people to know she's a lesbian, then don't go around telling everyone.
But if she's open about it, don't hide it from anyone, because that could make her think you're ashamed of her somehow. If you tell everyone, she will likely angry with you.
4. Treat her like you treat everybody else.
Lesbians are people, too.
There is no need to act differently around her simply because of her sexual orientation. Accept that she's lesbian, and move on. Treat her the same way you would treat a straight person, or anybody else.
If you were already friends before, none of your behavior towards her needs to change just because she's a lesbian.
Tips
Don't worry about her sexuality. Just focus on being friends and finding things in common.
Warnings
Avoid trying to set her up with a girl unless she asks for it.
Don't try to befriend someone just because of their sexuality.
Don't make fun of her behind her back.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Consider why your friend's orientation would even matter to you.\\nDoes it change your opinion of her?\\nDo you have some fears or preconceptions about lesbians that make you feel uncomfortable? Or perhaps you have romantic feelings towards her? Unpack your feelings and why/if your friend's sexuality bothers you.\\n2. If you're a girl, don't assume she is attracted to you.\\nThis is a common misconception between girls with a lesbian friend.\\nLesbians (or anyone) aren't attracted to everyone of a certain gender just because of their sexuality. She's not attracted to all women just because she's lesbian.\\n3. Respect her sexuality and privacy.\\nIf she doesn't want people to know she's a lesbian, then don't go around telling everyone.\\nBut if she's open about it, don't hide it from anyone, because that could make her think you're ashamed of her somehow. If you tell everyone, she will likely angry with you.\\n4. Treat her like you treat everybody else.\\nLesbians are people, too.\\nThere is no need to act differently around her simply because of her sexual orientation. Accept that she's lesbian, and move on. Treat her the same way you would treat a straight person, or anybody else.\\nIf you were already friends before, none of your behavior towards her needs to change just because she's a lesbian.\\nTips\\nDon't worry about her sexuality. Just focus on being friends and finding things in common.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid trying to set her up with a girl unless she asks for it.\\nDon't try to befriend someone just because of their sexuality.\\nDon't make fun of her behind her back.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Discovering that someone you know is a lesbian can confuse you or make you uncomfortable. However, realizing that they are still human greatly improve the likelihood of a friendship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider why your friend's orientation would even matter to you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Does it change your opinion of her?\", \"描述\": \"Do you have some fears or preconceptions about lesbians that make you feel uncomfortable? Or perhaps you have romantic feelings towards her? Unpack your feelings and why/if your friend's sexuality bothers you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If you're a girl, don't assume she is attracted to you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a common misconception between girls with a lesbian friend.\", \"描述\": \"Lesbians (or anyone) aren't attracted to everyone of a certain gender just because of their sexuality. She's not attracted to all women just because she's lesbian.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect her sexuality and privacy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If she doesn't want people to know she's a lesbian, then don't go around telling everyone.\", \"描述\": \"But if she's open about it, don't hide it from anyone, because that could make her think you're ashamed of her somehow. If you tell everyone, she will likely angry with you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Treat her like you treat everybody else.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lesbians are people, too.\", \"描述\": \"There is no need to act differently around her simply because of her sexual orientation. Accept that she's lesbian, and move on. Treat her the same way you would treat a straight person, or anybody else.\\nIf you were already friends before, none of your behavior towards her needs to change just because she's a lesbian.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't worry about her sexuality. Just focus on being friends and finding things in common.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid trying to set her up with a girl unless she asks for it.\\n\", \"Don't try to befriend someone just because of their sexuality.\\n\", \"Don't make fun of her behind her back.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,733 | How to Be Friends with Everyone | 1. Finding and Making Friends
1-1. Develop your interests.
In order to be friends with a wide variety of people, you've got to have a wide variety of interests. With a wide variety of interests, you'll likely have something in common with everyone and it'll be easier to hold a conversation and let your relationship bloom. So join the choir. Volunteer at your local hospital. Start painting in your free time. Learn guitar. Join the soccer team. If you've ever wanted to do something, this is a good reason to do it.
Understand the personality of a group you are trying to befriend. Figure out what unites them – is it a shared activity (e.g., debate team, journalism publication, love of performing music) or a harmonious balance of personality traits (talkative, sociable, quiet, etc.)? If you share this unifying quality with the group, then let your interest/personality/whatever it may be shining.
1-2. Make a habit of getting others' contact information.
When it comes to making new friends, most people are pretty shy. They tend to automatically assume you're not interested in friendship unless you say otherwise. Take a risk, put yourself out there, and ask for their phone number, Twitter or Instagram handle, or friend them on Facebook. Being online friends is the first step to being friends in real life.
And then when you have their contact information, you both can invite each other to hang out, or even just make random small talk online. The more you talk to each other, the more comfortable you'll be with each other at school or wherever you naturally meet up.
1-3. Don't wait for an invitation – give it yourself.
Be outgoing and proactive in inviting people to hang out and paying attention to when and where people are gathering. If you want to be friends with everyone, you have to initiate reaching out to groups and be sensitive to their habits. Again, people get nervous and shy around new people. They may want to hang out, but be too timid to ask.
Go out a lot in order to hang out with different groups. However, do know that being friends with everyone can be very time and energy-intensive because you must be friendly, outgoing, and willing to spend time hanging out, leaving yourself very little time to yourself.
Remember, you don't have to be outgoing in order to be a good person; it's perfectly fine to be shy and reserved, and you will make your own friends. However, if your goal is to befriend a wide range of people, you will have to put that effort out there.
1-4. Accept every invitation.
There's a saying that goes something like, "If you stop going, they'll stop inviting you." And it makes complete sense – would you keep inviting a friend that turned you down time and time again? So as you're making these friends (especially in the beginning stages), accept the invitations that you get. How else do you expect the friendships to grow?
Remember that each group will be different. They will use different words, find different things funny or respectable, or will have very different ways of "hanging out." Observe what is appropriate for each group, and act accordingly, but don't change yourself just to fit in. You are who you are.
1-5. Smile and remember everyone's name.
When you're friends with everyone, you're going to have a lot of information floating around in your head. Is it Haley that likes rock music? Paul and Vinh are the lacrosse players? When you're with your new friends (or soon-to-be friends) use their name, ask them about something you know about them, and just smile. They'll feel special seeing that you remembered so much about them.
One of the easiest things you can do to make good friends is to smile and just be happy. Make jokes, laugh, and help the group have a good time. Once they realize that you're a fun person to be around, you all will become friends.
2. Talking to New People
2-1. Remark on your surroundings or the occasion.
Making small talk with people don't know very well is one of the hardest parts of new friendships. To get to talking, simply make a comment on what's around the both of you or the occasion. Talk about your teacher's droning voice, or how you can't believe that cute person in homeroom is wearing that outfit. It doesn't have to be much – the conversation will get better and better from there.
Even "Man, I love this song!" can get the ice breaking. When the two of you start singing at the top of your lungs, it's an immediate bonding moment.
2-2. Ask open-ended questions.
To get the ball rolling even further, start asking the person or people you're talking to the open-ended question that they can't just answer with a "yes" or "no," as one-word answers will stop any conversation in its tracks. What do they think of the big event coming up? Who do they know that's coming?
Ask people what their plans are for the weekend. If something seems appropriate for you to join, you can express interest in the activity and see if they extend an invitation. If not, you must take a call about whether you should put yourself on the line and explicitly ask to come. Be careful about always tagging along -- it can annoy some people.
2-3. Listen genuinely.
When's the last time someone looked you in the eye, smiled, and asked, 'How are you?' and actually meant it? A genuine listener is pretty hard to come by, especially these days when everyone's eyes are attached to their phones. When they're talking, give them your attention. They'll feel it and appreciate it.
Being interested in another person is one of the best ways to show someone you like them and make them feel like they matter. Even if they're just complaining about their mom, support them. Help them laugh about it. Everyone needs a shoulder from time to time, and you could be that shoulder.
2-4. Use compliments.
In addition to getting people feeling good about themselves, compliments are a great ice breaker, too. "Hey, I love those shoes! Where did you get them?" is an easy way to start a conversation. It could be one of the highlights of their day. Who knows?
Think about your friends. Which ones do you associate with positivity and which with negativity? It probably doesn't take you too long to come up with your answer. Here's a heads up: you want to be associated with positivity, and giving compliments is a way to do just that.
2-5. Make time for them.
You have a lot of friends now. Once you have them on your side, the main battle is going to be making time for them. If you have a set schedule, great. Monday is for your choir friends, Tuesday is for soccer, and so forth. Just make sure if you haven't seen a friend in a while to give them a call!
This is the main downside to being friends with everyone – they all want a piece of your time. If it starts to burn you out, don't ignore it. Take some time to yourself and refuel. Your real friends will be patient and there when you're ready.
3. Showing You're Friend Material
3-1. Be a friend you'd want to have.
Being friends with everyone isn't about being in the popular clique or demanding respect by being snooty, it's about being likeable and being a good friend. If you want everyone to like you, act like someone you would like. What kind of friend do you picture everyone liking?
A good place to start is by being considerate and helpful. If someone missed a day in class, offer your notes. Do they need a ride somewhere? That's an opportunity, too. Who knows? When you need a favour, they may pay it back.
3-2. Make them feel good.
Most of us battle with self-image issues and we all have days where we don't feel great about ourselves. But when we meet someone who comes along and who wants to be our friend and who makes life a little more fun, it's easy to perk up. Make your new friends feel good by actively saying you want to hang out, complimenting them, and going out of your way to be friends. Text them randomly, send notes, and just let them know you're on their side.
Even just being there for them can change their life. Recent studies have shown that having one good friend can not only make you incredibly happier, but it can also lengthen your life. What's more, one good friend is the equivalent in happiness of $100,000 a year. You just being there for them is quite the gift.
3-3. Find the good in them.
Realize that in the process of being friends with (nearly) everyone, you will encounter people with all sorts of personalities, attitudes, opinions and interests. You need to make yourself open-minded and pleasant enough such that you can get along with all of these varying people, even if you may not 100% agree with them on everything. Concentrate on their good qualities and what you like about them – not what you disagree about.
Be a respectful person so you can respectfully agree to disagree when differences come along. You don't necessarily have to suppress your views or opinions, but make sure that you're not expressing them in an offensive or harmful way towards others.
3-4. Put in the work to keep the friendship.
Since you have so many friends, sometimes it's naturally going to be difficult to keep up the friendship. What's more, friends naturally come and go – most research says half of any social circle dissipates in 7 years. If you found some friends you want to keep close by, put the work in. Invite them to things for no reason, call them, and stay connected. It's a two-way street, after all.
And if your friends are far away from you, you'll need to put in more work. Studies show, though it's completely logical, that far-away friendships fall apart more quickly and tend to get replaced by local friendships. So keep up the texting, the Facebooking, and the phone calls. You two can still be there for each other if you need it.
3-5. Don't badmouth others or gossip excessively.
While it may make for an interesting two-minute conversation, you never know whom you might be offending and what bridges you may be burning. Also, if you're always badmouthing others, people pick up on that and will be more hesitant about you – how do they know that you're not bad-mouthing them when they're not around?
Be a pleasant person, follow the golden rule (treat others the way you would like to be treated), and the friends will come flocking.
3-6. Don't take it personally if not everyone wants to be friends.
If you notice that you are routinely left out of plans, or don't hear about things until the event is over, realize that people may be subtle but intentionally trying to exclude you. While you may see this as a hurtful act, others do not have the obligation to be your friend, and if they feel that your personality doesn't jive with the rest of theirs, it's their prerogative to decide whether to include you. Forget about trying too hard to join that group and move on to find other friends.
If you find yourself having to ask every weekend what someone is up to in order to be a part of a group, switch it up and contact someone else in the group whom you know. Alternatively, invite the person to hang out and see what they say. If your invitation conflicts with existing plans, they may invite you to join them. If your invitation to hang out falls before an existing plan, you too may end up going to the group activity together.
Tips
Don't be afraid to talk to people. Meeting strangers is the best way to make new friends![16]
X
Research source
If someone wants to be alone for a while, respect them and leave them alone, avoid being clingy.
Keeping clean is a major thing to keep in mind. Take a shower every day. Wash your face, brush your teeth. Have proper hygiene no matter what.
Warnings
Not everyone will like you, but that is their problem, not yours. You can't make anybody want to hang around you, so don't force it. You'll just come out worse!
Being friends with everyone can be difficult because not everyone is cross-compatible. You may feel torn between friends; who to hang out with if it can't be done at once.
Just remember: Don't forget who your real friends are. Don't become friends with someone just because they are a cheerleader or really popular.
It is impossible to have a close set of friends – everyone averages out to a mix between friend and acquaintance. You may often have to leave a party alone to go to another party alone. You will see friends there, but you cannot be socially mobile with many more people than yourself.
If for any reason you cannot continue with the demanding time schedule, friends will fade rapidly. Make sure to have a couple strong friends, or it may be possible for all of your friends to become mere acquaintances.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding and Making Friends\\n1-1. Develop your interests.\\nIn order to be friends with a wide variety of people, you've got to have a wide variety of interests. With a wide variety of interests, you'll likely have something in common with everyone and it'll be easier to hold a conversation and let your relationship bloom. So join the choir. Volunteer at your local hospital. Start painting in your free time. Learn guitar. Join the soccer team. If you've ever wanted to do something, this is a good reason to do it.\\nUnderstand the personality of a group you are trying to befriend. Figure out what unites them – is it a shared activity (e.g., debate team, journalism publication, love of performing music) or a harmonious balance of personality traits (talkative, sociable, quiet, etc.)? If you share this unifying quality with the group, then let your interest/personality/whatever it may be shining.\\n1-2. Make a habit of getting others' contact information.\\nWhen it comes to making new friends, most people are pretty shy. They tend to automatically assume you're not interested in friendship unless you say otherwise. Take a risk, put yourself out there, and ask for their phone number, Twitter or Instagram handle, or friend them on Facebook. Being online friends is the first step to being friends in real life.\\nAnd then when you have their contact information, you both can invite each other to hang out, or even just make random small talk online. The more you talk to each other, the more comfortable you'll be with each other at school or wherever you naturally meet up.\\n1-3. Don't wait for an invitation – give it yourself.\\nBe outgoing and proactive in inviting people to hang out and paying attention to when and where people are gathering. If you want to be friends with everyone, you have to initiate reaching out to groups and be sensitive to their habits. Again, people get nervous and shy around new people. They may want to hang out, but be too timid to ask.\\nGo out a lot in order to hang out with different groups. However, do know that being friends with everyone can be very time and energy-intensive because you must be friendly, outgoing, and willing to spend time hanging out, leaving yourself very little time to yourself.\\nRemember, you don't have to be outgoing in order to be a good person; it's perfectly fine to be shy and reserved, and you will make your own friends. However, if your goal is to befriend a wide range of people, you will have to put that effort out there.\\n1-4. Accept every invitation.\\nThere's a saying that goes something like, \\\"If you stop going, they'll stop inviting you.\\\" And it makes complete sense – would you keep inviting a friend that turned you down time and time again? So as you're making these friends (especially in the beginning stages), accept the invitations that you get. How else do you expect the friendships to grow?\\nRemember that each group will be different. They will use different words, find different things funny or respectable, or will have very different ways of \\\"hanging out.\\\" Observe what is appropriate for each group, and act accordingly, but don't change yourself just to fit in. You are who you are.\\n1-5. Smile and remember everyone's name.\\nWhen you're friends with everyone, you're going to have a lot of information floating around in your head. Is it Haley that likes rock music? Paul and Vinh are the lacrosse players? When you're with your new friends (or soon-to-be friends) use their name, ask them about something you know about them, and just smile. They'll feel special seeing that you remembered so much about them.\\nOne of the easiest things you can do to make good friends is to smile and just be happy. Make jokes, laugh, and help the group have a good time. Once they realize that you're a fun person to be around, you all will become friends.\\n2. Talking to New People\\n2-1. Remark on your surroundings or the occasion.\\nMaking small talk with people don't know very well is one of the hardest parts of new friendships. To get to talking, simply make a comment on what's around the both of you or the occasion. Talk about your teacher's droning voice, or how you can't believe that cute person in homeroom is wearing that outfit. It doesn't have to be much – the conversation will get better and better from there.\\nEven \\\"Man, I love this song!\\\" can get the ice breaking. When the two of you start singing at the top of your lungs, it's an immediate bonding moment.\\n2-2. Ask open-ended questions.\\nTo get the ball rolling even further, start asking the person or people you're talking to the open-ended question that they can't just answer with a \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no,\\\" as one-word answers will stop any conversation in its tracks. What do they think of the big event coming up? Who do they know that's coming?\\nAsk people what their plans are for the weekend. If something seems appropriate for you to join, you can express interest in the activity and see if they extend an invitation. If not, you must take a call about whether you should put yourself on the line and explicitly ask to come. Be careful about always tagging along -- it can annoy some people.\\n2-3. Listen genuinely.\\nWhen's the last time someone looked you in the eye, smiled, and asked, 'How are you?' and actually meant it? A genuine listener is pretty hard to come by, especially these days when everyone's eyes are attached to their phones. When they're talking, give them your attention. They'll feel it and appreciate it.\\nBeing interested in another person is one of the best ways to show someone you like them and make them feel like they matter. Even if they're just complaining about their mom, support them. Help them laugh about it. Everyone needs a shoulder from time to time, and you could be that shoulder.\\n2-4. Use compliments.\\nIn addition to getting people feeling good about themselves, compliments are a great ice breaker, too. \\\"Hey, I love those shoes! Where did you get them?\\\" is an easy way to start a conversation. It could be one of the highlights of their day. Who knows?\\nThink about your friends. Which ones do you associate with positivity and which with negativity? It probably doesn't take you too long to come up with your answer. Here's a heads up: you want to be associated with positivity, and giving compliments is a way to do just that.\\n2-5. Make time for them.\\nYou have a lot of friends now. Once you have them on your side, the main battle is going to be making time for them. If you have a set schedule, great. Monday is for your choir friends, Tuesday is for soccer, and so forth. Just make sure if you haven't seen a friend in a while to give them a call!\\nThis is the main downside to being friends with everyone – they all want a piece of your time. If it starts to burn you out, don't ignore it. Take some time to yourself and refuel. Your real friends will be patient and there when you're ready.\\n3. Showing You're Friend Material\\n3-1. Be a friend you'd want to have.\\nBeing friends with everyone isn't about being in the popular clique or demanding respect by being snooty, it's about being likeable and being a good friend. If you want everyone to like you, act like someone you would like. What kind of friend do you picture everyone liking?\\nA good place to start is by being considerate and helpful. If someone missed a day in class, offer your notes. Do they need a ride somewhere? That's an opportunity, too. Who knows? When you need a favour, they may pay it back.\\n3-2. Make them feel good.\\nMost of us battle with self-image issues and we all have days where we don't feel great about ourselves. But when we meet someone who comes along and who wants to be our friend and who makes life a little more fun, it's easy to perk up. Make your new friends feel good by actively saying you want to hang out, complimenting them, and going out of your way to be friends. Text them randomly, send notes, and just let them know you're on their side.\\nEven just being there for them can change their life. Recent studies have shown that having one good friend can not only make you incredibly happier, but it can also lengthen your life. What's more, one good friend is the equivalent in happiness of $100,000 a year. You just being there for them is quite the gift.\\n3-3. Find the good in them.\\nRealize that in the process of being friends with (nearly) everyone, you will encounter people with all sorts of personalities, attitudes, opinions and interests. You need to make yourself open-minded and pleasant enough such that you can get along with all of these varying people, even if you may not 100% agree with them on everything. Concentrate on their good qualities and what you like about them – not what you disagree about.\\nBe a respectful person so you can respectfully agree to disagree when differences come along. You don't necessarily have to suppress your views or opinions, but make sure that you're not expressing them in an offensive or harmful way towards others.\\n3-4. Put in the work to keep the friendship.\\nSince you have so many friends, sometimes it's naturally going to be difficult to keep up the friendship. What's more, friends naturally come and go – most research says half of any social circle dissipates in 7 years. If you found some friends you want to keep close by, put the work in. Invite them to things for no reason, call them, and stay connected. It's a two-way street, after all.\\nAnd if your friends are far away from you, you'll need to put in more work. Studies show, though it's completely logical, that far-away friendships fall apart more quickly and tend to get replaced by local friendships. So keep up the texting, the Facebooking, and the phone calls. You two can still be there for each other if you need it.\\n3-5. Don't badmouth others or gossip excessively.\\nWhile it may make for an interesting two-minute conversation, you never know whom you might be offending and what bridges you may be burning. Also, if you're always badmouthing others, people pick up on that and will be more hesitant about you – how do they know that you're not bad-mouthing them when they're not around?\\nBe a pleasant person, follow the golden rule (treat others the way you would like to be treated), and the friends will come flocking.\\n3-6. Don't take it personally if not everyone wants to be friends.\\nIf you notice that you are routinely left out of plans, or don't hear about things until the event is over, realize that people may be subtle but intentionally trying to exclude you. While you may see this as a hurtful act, others do not have the obligation to be your friend, and if they feel that your personality doesn't jive with the rest of theirs, it's their prerogative to decide whether to include you. Forget about trying too hard to join that group and move on to find other friends.\\nIf you find yourself having to ask every weekend what someone is up to in order to be a part of a group, switch it up and contact someone else in the group whom you know. Alternatively, invite the person to hang out and see what they say. If your invitation conflicts with existing plans, they may invite you to join them. If your invitation to hang out falls before an existing plan, you too may end up going to the group activity together.\\nTips\\nDon't be afraid to talk to people. Meeting strangers is the best way to make new friends![16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf someone wants to be alone for a while, respect them and leave them alone, avoid being clingy.\\nKeeping clean is a major thing to keep in mind. Take a shower every day. Wash your face, brush your teeth. Have proper hygiene no matter what.\\nWarnings\\nNot everyone will like you, but that is their problem, not yours. You can't make anybody want to hang around you, so don't force it. You'll just come out worse!\\nBeing friends with everyone can be difficult because not everyone is cross-compatible. You may feel torn between friends; who to hang out with if it can't be done at once.\\nJust remember: Don't forget who your real friends are. Don't become friends with someone just because they are a cheerleader or really popular.\\nIt is impossible to have a close set of friends – everyone averages out to a mix between friend and acquaintance. You may often have to leave a party alone to go to another party alone. You will see friends there, but you cannot be socially mobile with many more people than yourself.\\nIf for any reason you cannot continue with the demanding time schedule, friends will fade rapidly. Make sure to have a couple strong friends, or it may be possible for all of your friends to become mere acquaintances.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Though psychological research has shown that people tend to get along with people who share similar physical and biological traits with them, it's possible to become friends with very different types of people who carry all sorts of backgrounds. The trick is to be open-minded, understanding, and talkative. Soon enough, you'll have so many invitations, you'll need a bigger calendar.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding and Making Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your interests.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be friends with a wide variety of people, you've got to have a wide variety of interests. With a wide variety of interests, you'll likely have something in common with everyone and it'll be easier to hold a conversation and let your relationship bloom. So join the choir. Volunteer at your local hospital. Start painting in your free time. Learn guitar. Join the soccer team. If you've ever wanted to do something, this is a good reason to do it.\\nUnderstand the personality of a group you are trying to befriend. Figure out what unites them – is it a shared activity (e.g., debate team, journalism publication, love of performing music) or a harmonious balance of personality traits (talkative, sociable, quiet, etc.)? If you share this unifying quality with the group, then let your interest/personality/whatever it may be shining.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a habit of getting others' contact information.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to making new friends, most people are pretty shy. They tend to automatically assume you're not interested in friendship unless you say otherwise. Take a risk, put yourself out there, and ask for their phone number, Twitter or Instagram handle, or friend them on Facebook. Being online friends is the first step to being friends in real life.\\nAnd then when you have their contact information, you both can invite each other to hang out, or even just make random small talk online. The more you talk to each other, the more comfortable you'll be with each other at school or wherever you naturally meet up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't wait for an invitation – give it yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Be outgoing and proactive in inviting people to hang out and paying attention to when and where people are gathering. If you want to be friends with everyone, you have to initiate reaching out to groups and be sensitive to their habits. Again, people get nervous and shy around new people. They may want to hang out, but be too timid to ask.\\nGo out a lot in order to hang out with different groups. However, do know that being friends with everyone can be very time and energy-intensive because you must be friendly, outgoing, and willing to spend time hanging out, leaving yourself very little time to yourself.\\nRemember, you don't have to be outgoing in order to be a good person; it's perfectly fine to be shy and reserved, and you will make your own friends. However, if your goal is to befriend a wide range of people, you will have to put that effort out there.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept every invitation.\", \"描述\": \"There's a saying that goes something like, \\\"If you stop going, they'll stop inviting you.\\\" And it makes complete sense – would you keep inviting a friend that turned you down time and time again? So as you're making these friends (especially in the beginning stages), accept the invitations that you get. How else do you expect the friendships to grow?\\nRemember that each group will be different. They will use different words, find different things funny or respectable, or will have very different ways of \\\"hanging out.\\\" Observe what is appropriate for each group, and act accordingly, but don't change yourself just to fit in. You are who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile and remember everyone's name.\", \"描述\": \"When you're friends with everyone, you're going to have a lot of information floating around in your head. Is it Haley that likes rock music? Paul and Vinh are the lacrosse players? When you're with your new friends (or soon-to-be friends) use their name, ask them about something you know about them, and just smile. They'll feel special seeing that you remembered so much about them.\\nOne of the easiest things you can do to make good friends is to smile and just be happy. Make jokes, laugh, and help the group have a good time. Once they realize that you're a fun person to be around, you all will become friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking to New People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remark on your surroundings or the occasion.\", \"描述\": \"Making small talk with people don't know very well is one of the hardest parts of new friendships. To get to talking, simply make a comment on what's around the both of you or the occasion. Talk about your teacher's droning voice, or how you can't believe that cute person in homeroom is wearing that outfit. It doesn't have to be much – the conversation will get better and better from there.\\nEven \\\"Man, I love this song!\\\" can get the ice breaking. When the two of you start singing at the top of your lungs, it's an immediate bonding moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"To get the ball rolling even further, start asking the person or people you're talking to the open-ended question that they can't just answer with a \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no,\\\" as one-word answers will stop any conversation in its tracks. What do they think of the big event coming up? Who do they know that's coming?\\nAsk people what their plans are for the weekend. If something seems appropriate for you to join, you can express interest in the activity and see if they extend an invitation. If not, you must take a call about whether you should put yourself on the line and explicitly ask to come. Be careful about always tagging along -- it can annoy some people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen genuinely.\", \"描述\": \"When's the last time someone looked you in the eye, smiled, and asked, 'How are you?' and actually meant it? A genuine listener is pretty hard to come by, especially these days when everyone's eyes are attached to their phones. When they're talking, give them your attention. They'll feel it and appreciate it.\\nBeing interested in another person is one of the best ways to show someone you like them and make them feel like they matter. Even if they're just complaining about their mom, support them. Help them laugh about it. Everyone needs a shoulder from time to time, and you could be that shoulder.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use compliments.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to getting people feeling good about themselves, compliments are a great ice breaker, too. \\\"Hey, I love those shoes! Where did you get them?\\\" is an easy way to start a conversation. It could be one of the highlights of their day. Who knows?\\nThink about your friends. Which ones do you associate with positivity and which with negativity? It probably doesn't take you too long to come up with your answer. Here's a heads up: you want to be associated with positivity, and giving compliments is a way to do just that.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make time for them.\", \"描述\": \"You have a lot of friends now. Once you have them on your side, the main battle is going to be making time for them. If you have a set schedule, great. Monday is for your choir friends, Tuesday is for soccer, and so forth. Just make sure if you haven't seen a friend in a while to give them a call!\\nThis is the main downside to being friends with everyone – they all want a piece of your time. If it starts to burn you out, don't ignore it. Take some time to yourself and refuel. Your real friends will be patient and there when you're ready.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Showing You're Friend Material\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a friend you'd want to have.\", \"描述\": \"Being friends with everyone isn't about being in the popular clique or demanding respect by being snooty, it's about being likeable and being a good friend. If you want everyone to like you, act like someone you would like. What kind of friend do you picture everyone liking?\\nA good place to start is by being considerate and helpful. If someone missed a day in class, offer your notes. Do they need a ride somewhere? That's an opportunity, too. Who knows? When you need a favour, they may pay it back.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make them feel good.\", \"描述\": \"Most of us battle with self-image issues and we all have days where we don't feel great about ourselves. But when we meet someone who comes along and who wants to be our friend and who makes life a little more fun, it's easy to perk up. Make your new friends feel good by actively saying you want to hang out, complimenting them, and going out of your way to be friends. Text them randomly, send notes, and just let them know you're on their side.\\nEven just being there for them can change their life. Recent studies have shown that having one good friend can not only make you incredibly happier, but it can also lengthen your life. What's more, one good friend is the equivalent in happiness of $100,000 a year. You just being there for them is quite the gift.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find the good in them.\", \"描述\": \"Realize that in the process of being friends with (nearly) everyone, you will encounter people with all sorts of personalities, attitudes, opinions and interests. You need to make yourself open-minded and pleasant enough such that you can get along with all of these varying people, even if you may not 100% agree with them on everything. Concentrate on their good qualities and what you like about them – not what you disagree about.\\nBe a respectful person so you can respectfully agree to disagree when differences come along. You don't necessarily have to suppress your views or opinions, but make sure that you're not expressing them in an offensive or harmful way towards others.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put in the work to keep the friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Since you have so many friends, sometimes it's naturally going to be difficult to keep up the friendship. What's more, friends naturally come and go – most research says half of any social circle dissipates in 7 years. If you found some friends you want to keep close by, put the work in. Invite them to things for no reason, call them, and stay connected. It's a two-way street, after all.\\nAnd if your friends are far away from you, you'll need to put in more work. Studies show, though it's completely logical, that far-away friendships fall apart more quickly and tend to get replaced by local friendships. So keep up the texting, the Facebooking, and the phone calls. You two can still be there for each other if you need it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't badmouth others or gossip excessively.\", \"描述\": \"While it may make for an interesting two-minute conversation, you never know whom you might be offending and what bridges you may be burning. Also, if you're always badmouthing others, people pick up on that and will be more hesitant about you – how do they know that you're not bad-mouthing them when they're not around?\\nBe a pleasant person, follow the golden rule (treat others the way you would like to be treated), and the friends will come flocking.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't take it personally if not everyone wants to be friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice that you are routinely left out of plans, or don't hear about things until the event is over, realize that people may be subtle but intentionally trying to exclude you. While you may see this as a hurtful act, others do not have the obligation to be your friend, and if they feel that your personality doesn't jive with the rest of theirs, it's their prerogative to decide whether to include you. Forget about trying too hard to join that group and move on to find other friends.\\nIf you find yourself having to ask every weekend what someone is up to in order to be a part of a group, switch it up and contact someone else in the group whom you know. Alternatively, invite the person to hang out and see what they say. If your invitation conflicts with existing plans, they may invite you to join them. If your invitation to hang out falls before an existing plan, you too may end up going to the group activity together.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be afraid to talk to people. Meeting strangers is the best way to make new friends![16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If someone wants to be alone for a while, respect them and leave them alone, avoid being clingy.\\n\", \"Keeping clean is a major thing to keep in mind. Take a shower every day. Wash your face, brush your teeth. Have proper hygiene no matter what.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Not everyone will like you, but that is their problem, not yours. You can't make anybody want to hang around you, so don't force it. You'll just come out worse!\\n\", \"Being friends with everyone can be difficult because not everyone is cross-compatible. You may feel torn between friends; who to hang out with if it can't be done at once.\\n\", \"Just remember: Don't forget who your real friends are. Don't become friends with someone just because they are a cheerleader or really popular.\\n\", \"It is impossible to have a close set of friends – everyone averages out to a mix between friend and acquaintance. You may often have to leave a party alone to go to another party alone. You will see friends there, but you cannot be socially mobile with many more people than yourself.\\n\", \"If for any reason you cannot continue with the demanding time schedule, friends will fade rapidly. Make sure to have a couple strong friends, or it may be possible for all of your friends to become mere acquaintances.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,734 | How to Be Friends with Guys | 1. Meeting Boys
1-1. Be friendly and approachable.
Though you may not be used to being around boys, remember they are people just like you. Casual greetings and small talk can go a long way!
Don’t get too discouraged if boys don’t always respond positively. Boys are stereotyped at a young age, and are taught to be "manly", so it may take more time for a boy to warm up to you. Remember that if boys are rude to you when you are just being friendly, it says a lot more about them than it does about you.
1-2. Join an extracurricular activity.
Boy-girl friendships are most likely to occur outside of school so take this as an opportunity to pursue something you like and hopefully find some new friends in the process!
Find an activity that you genuinely enjoy. For example, join an intramural soccer team if you like playing soccer, but don’t do it just to meet boys! Boys are everywhere and, though there is a stereotype that they're only interested in sports, they have a wide range of interests too. So join a movie club or volunteer at the local animal shelter. Chances are, there will be at least a couple boys there who are interested in the same thing and you’ll be able to bond over a genuine shared interest.
1-3. Open up your friendship circle.
See if any of your other girl friends are also interested in becoming friends with boys and invite them to do simple things, such as sitting together to eat lunch. After all, there’s no law saying that friend groups need to be divided by gender.
If your girl friends ask you why you want to be friends with boys, explain that you are looking for platonic friendships. After all, boys make up about half the human population, so you are all going to need to learn how to interact with them in a healthy and positive manner sooner or later!
2. Becoming Friends
2-1. Spend time together.
It always takes time to get to know another person and form a real friendship. This is especially true of boys, because they are taught to talk and share less about their emotions and personal lives as an expression of their masculinity.
Activities as simple as going to the park, watching TV, doing homework together, or hanging out with other friends are all great, low-pressure situations which will gradually develop the friendship.
2-2. Don’t be overly affectionate.
Girls tend to be more physically and verbally affectionate with one another while boys tend to show they care through less obvious means, such as doing favors for each other.
Though your instinct may be to give your boy friend a hug when you see him, a simple wave and “hi” should suffice. Show that you’re glad to have his friendship by giving small compliments or offering to help him with a class he’s struggling with.
Establish boundaries and follow them so there is clarity about the type of relationship you wish to share from the beginning.
2-3. Be yourself.
Though this may seem like a cliché, it’s important to always stay true to yourself. Otherwise, any friendships you do make will be based on a false persona and it won’t be a real friendship.
Be honest about who you are, such as your interests, likes and dislikes, how you spend your days, etc. Even if you are into more traditionally feminine things, such as baking or crafting, that doesn’t mean you will always be excluded from having friendships with boys. After all, you may even find a boy who is interested in the same activity!
3. Spending Time with Guy Friends
3-1. Go with the flow.
Whether you’re hanging out with one or multiple boys, it’s likely that the time you spend with boy friends will be very different from when you’re with your girl friends. Knowing and being open to this difference will help you and your new friends enjoy your time together.
Going with the flow can be as simple as letting go of expectations of what you will do with your guy friends. For example, if you’re invited over to a new boy friend’s place, don’t be surprised or annoyed if you spend the next few hours vegging out on the couch and watching sports.
3-2. Learn the basics of some masculine activities.
While girls tend to get together to talk or unwind together, many boys tend to get together for a specific activity, even if it’s just playing video games or scrimmaging basketball. Knowing the basics of at least a couple of these typically masculine activities will increase the likelihood of boys considering you to be “just one of the guys.” You may even discover a new, previously unexplored interest!
If you’re already an active person, try taking up a new sport. If you’re a more sedentary person, explore what the latest video games are to see if any of them grab your interest. Even just watching a sport or keeping up with a specific team will give you a lot to discuss with your new friends.
3-3. Have a sense of humor.
Boys tend to bond over jokes and often even make of each other. Let them know if they’ve crossed a line, but also realize that joking at others’ expense is a common male activity.If you’re getting picked on but you know that you are actually friends with the boy, come up with some funny rebuttals.
For example, if your friend makes fun of your poor performance in something, you can laugh along to let them know you aren’t too sensitive. You can also poke at one of their weaknesses in a funny way. Just be sure to keep it lighthearted!
3-4. Observe how guys interact with each other.
Watching is one of the best ways to learn how to fit in. While it’s always going to be clear that you are different from boys, you can make this difference less noticeable by noticing how guys treat each other and imitating them.
With this step, just make sure you are not going overboard. You should still display your natural personality but you can pick up little gestures, such as fist bumps as greetings and common topics that boys discuss and use them yourself.
4. Dealing with Social Pressures
4-1. Learn to stand up for yourself.
Due to gender norms and the sometimes unhealthy social environments in schools, don’t be surprised if you find others being unsupportive of your friendship or actively teasing you about it.
If other kids accuse you of being in a romantic relationship or otherwise tease you about your friendship, practice some basic comebacks such as, “He’s a friend who happens to be a boy, so what?” If you don’t get worked up about it, eventually other kids will get tired of teasing you and leave you and your friend alone.
4-2. Make it clear you are just friends.
You may find pressure to turn your friendship into a romantic relationship but stick to what you want.
Even adults may inadvertently pressure you by asking questions such as, “Is he cute?” Let them know that you are not interested in his physical attributes and emphasize that you are just friends.
One study has shown that boys and girls often have a hard time maintaining their relationships because they are pressured to make it romantic or sexual. If your boy friend starts pressuring you to turn the friendship into a relationship, make it clear that you are only interested in him platonically. If he stops being your friend after that, then he never was really your friend to begin with and you’ll find other people who won’t pressure you into something you don’t want.
To keep the connection platonic you should decline romantic gestures, split all the tabs for social activities and make sure not to blur the lines of physical contact.
4-3. Remember your life is your own.
At the end of the day, you make your own decisions about who you want to spend time with and how you want to live your life. Keeping this in mind will help you develop a stronger sense of self and not be overly affected by other people’s opinions.
Tips
Being friends with boys can be difficult due to the various social pressures both girls and boys face! Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen overnight and don’t let it affect your own self-esteem if you find it harder to form friendships with boys than you expected.
Remember be yourself.
Share your interests and what you like. When boys find things that you both like, you become more interesting to them, and they wants to talk to you more.
Warnings
One study has found that having opposite gender friends during adolescence can negatively impact a student’s GPA, particularly if that student is a girl.[9]
X
Research source
Make sure to not let your friendships get in the way of doing well in school!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Meeting Boys\\n1-1. Be friendly and approachable.\\nThough you may not be used to being around boys, remember they are people just like you. Casual greetings and small talk can go a long way!\\nDon’t get too discouraged if boys don’t always respond positively. Boys are stereotyped at a young age, and are taught to be \\\"manly\\\", so it may take more time for a boy to warm up to you. Remember that if boys are rude to you when you are just being friendly, it says a lot more about them than it does about you.\\n1-2. Join an extracurricular activity.\\nBoy-girl friendships are most likely to occur outside of school so take this as an opportunity to pursue something you like and hopefully find some new friends in the process!\\nFind an activity that you genuinely enjoy. For example, join an intramural soccer team if you like playing soccer, but don’t do it just to meet boys! Boys are everywhere and, though there is a stereotype that they're only interested in sports, they have a wide range of interests too. So join a movie club or volunteer at the local animal shelter. Chances are, there will be at least a couple boys there who are interested in the same thing and you’ll be able to bond over a genuine shared interest.\\n1-3. Open up your friendship circle.\\nSee if any of your other girl friends are also interested in becoming friends with boys and invite them to do simple things, such as sitting together to eat lunch. After all, there’s no law saying that friend groups need to be divided by gender.\\nIf your girl friends ask you why you want to be friends with boys, explain that you are looking for platonic friendships. After all, boys make up about half the human population, so you are all going to need to learn how to interact with them in a healthy and positive manner sooner or later!\\n2. Becoming Friends\\n2-1. Spend time together.\\nIt always takes time to get to know another person and form a real friendship. This is especially true of boys, because they are taught to talk and share less about their emotions and personal lives as an expression of their masculinity.\\nActivities as simple as going to the park, watching TV, doing homework together, or hanging out with other friends are all great, low-pressure situations which will gradually develop the friendship.\\n2-2. Don’t be overly affectionate.\\nGirls tend to be more physically and verbally affectionate with one another while boys tend to show they care through less obvious means, such as doing favors for each other.\\nThough your instinct may be to give your boy friend a hug when you see him, a simple wave and “hi” should suffice. Show that you’re glad to have his friendship by giving small compliments or offering to help him with a class he’s struggling with.\\nEstablish boundaries and follow them so there is clarity about the type of relationship you wish to share from the beginning.\\n2-3. Be yourself.\\nThough this may seem like a cliché, it’s important to always stay true to yourself. Otherwise, any friendships you do make will be based on a false persona and it won’t be a real friendship.\\nBe honest about who you are, such as your interests, likes and dislikes, how you spend your days, etc. Even if you are into more traditionally feminine things, such as baking or crafting, that doesn’t mean you will always be excluded from having friendships with boys. After all, you may even find a boy who is interested in the same activity!\\n3. Spending Time with Guy Friends\\n3-1. Go with the flow.\\nWhether you’re hanging out with one or multiple boys, it’s likely that the time you spend with boy friends will be very different from when you’re with your girl friends. Knowing and being open to this difference will help you and your new friends enjoy your time together.\\nGoing with the flow can be as simple as letting go of expectations of what you will do with your guy friends. For example, if you’re invited over to a new boy friend’s place, don’t be surprised or annoyed if you spend the next few hours vegging out on the couch and watching sports.\\n3-2. Learn the basics of some masculine activities.\\nWhile girls tend to get together to talk or unwind together, many boys tend to get together for a specific activity, even if it’s just playing video games or scrimmaging basketball. Knowing the basics of at least a couple of these typically masculine activities will increase the likelihood of boys considering you to be “just one of the guys.” You may even discover a new, previously unexplored interest!\\nIf you’re already an active person, try taking up a new sport. If you’re a more sedentary person, explore what the latest video games are to see if any of them grab your interest. Even just watching a sport or keeping up with a specific team will give you a lot to discuss with your new friends.\\n3-3. Have a sense of humor.\\nBoys tend to bond over jokes and often even make of each other. Let them know if they’ve crossed a line, but also realize that joking at others’ expense is a common male activity.If you’re getting picked on but you know that you are actually friends with the boy, come up with some funny rebuttals.\\nFor example, if your friend makes fun of your poor performance in something, you can laugh along to let them know you aren’t too sensitive. You can also poke at one of their weaknesses in a funny way. Just be sure to keep it lighthearted!\\n3-4. Observe how guys interact with each other.\\nWatching is one of the best ways to learn how to fit in. While it’s always going to be clear that you are different from boys, you can make this difference less noticeable by noticing how guys treat each other and imitating them.\\nWith this step, just make sure you are not going overboard. You should still display your natural personality but you can pick up little gestures, such as fist bumps as greetings and common topics that boys discuss and use them yourself.\\n4. Dealing with Social Pressures\\n4-1. Learn to stand up for yourself.\\nDue to gender norms and the sometimes unhealthy social environments in schools, don’t be surprised if you find others being unsupportive of your friendship or actively teasing you about it.\\nIf other kids accuse you of being in a romantic relationship or otherwise tease you about your friendship, practice some basic comebacks such as, “He’s a friend who happens to be a boy, so what?” If you don’t get worked up about it, eventually other kids will get tired of teasing you and leave you and your friend alone.\\n4-2. Make it clear you are just friends.\\nYou may find pressure to turn your friendship into a romantic relationship but stick to what you want.\\nEven adults may inadvertently pressure you by asking questions such as, “Is he cute?” Let them know that you are not interested in his physical attributes and emphasize that you are just friends.\\nOne study has shown that boys and girls often have a hard time maintaining their relationships because they are pressured to make it romantic or sexual. If your boy friend starts pressuring you to turn the friendship into a relationship, make it clear that you are only interested in him platonically. If he stops being your friend after that, then he never was really your friend to begin with and you’ll find other people who won’t pressure you into something you don’t want.\\nTo keep the connection platonic you should decline romantic gestures, split all the tabs for social activities and make sure not to blur the lines of physical contact.\\n4-3. Remember your life is your own.\\nAt the end of the day, you make your own decisions about who you want to spend time with and how you want to live your life. Keeping this in mind will help you develop a stronger sense of self and not be overly affected by other people’s opinions.\\nTips\\nBeing friends with boys can be difficult due to the various social pressures both girls and boys face! Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen overnight and don’t let it affect your own self-esteem if you find it harder to form friendships with boys than you expected.\\nRemember be yourself.\\nShare your interests and what you like. When boys find things that you both like, you become more interesting to them, and they wants to talk to you more.\\nWarnings\\nOne study has found that having opposite gender friends during adolescence can negatively impact a student’s GPA, particularly if that student is a girl.[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Make sure to not let your friendships get in the way of doing well in school!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you a girl looking to expand your social circle to include some boys? It’s normal if you don’t already have some platonic (that is, non-romantic) boy friends, as from age four onwards, boys and girls tend to form more same-gender friendships. This is a worldwide pattern too, so don’t feel bad if you only have girl friends! With that being said, it is possible to form boy-girl friendships with a little planning and effort.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meeting Boys\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friendly and approachable.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may not be used to being around boys, remember they are people just like you. Casual greetings and small talk can go a long way!\\nDon’t get too discouraged if boys don’t always respond positively. Boys are stereotyped at a young age, and are taught to be \\\"manly\\\", so it may take more time for a boy to warm up to you. Remember that if boys are rude to you when you are just being friendly, it says a lot more about them than it does about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join an extracurricular activity.\", \"描述\": \"Boy-girl friendships are most likely to occur outside of school so take this as an opportunity to pursue something you like and hopefully find some new friends in the process!\\nFind an activity that you genuinely enjoy. For example, join an intramural soccer team if you like playing soccer, but don’t do it just to meet boys! Boys are everywhere and, though there is a stereotype that they're only interested in sports, they have a wide range of interests too. So join a movie club or volunteer at the local animal shelter. Chances are, there will be at least a couple boys there who are interested in the same thing and you’ll be able to bond over a genuine shared interest.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open up your friendship circle.\", \"描述\": \"See if any of your other girl friends are also interested in becoming friends with boys and invite them to do simple things, such as sitting together to eat lunch. After all, there’s no law saying that friend groups need to be divided by gender.\\nIf your girl friends ask you why you want to be friends with boys, explain that you are looking for platonic friendships. After all, boys make up about half the human population, so you are all going to need to learn how to interact with them in a healthy and positive manner sooner or later!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time together.\", \"描述\": \"It always takes time to get to know another person and form a real friendship. This is especially true of boys, because they are taught to talk and share less about their emotions and personal lives as an expression of their masculinity.\\nActivities as simple as going to the park, watching TV, doing homework together, or hanging out with other friends are all great, low-pressure situations which will gradually develop the friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t be overly affectionate.\", \"描述\": \"Girls tend to be more physically and verbally affectionate with one another while boys tend to show they care through less obvious means, such as doing favors for each other.\\nThough your instinct may be to give your boy friend a hug when you see him, a simple wave and “hi” should suffice. Show that you’re glad to have his friendship by giving small compliments or offering to help him with a class he’s struggling with.\\nEstablish boundaries and follow them so there is clarity about the type of relationship you wish to share from the beginning.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Though this may seem like a cliché, it’s important to always stay true to yourself. Otherwise, any friendships you do make will be based on a false persona and it won’t be a real friendship.\\nBe honest about who you are, such as your interests, likes and dislikes, how you spend your days, etc. Even if you are into more traditionally feminine things, such as baking or crafting, that doesn’t mean you will always be excluded from having friendships with boys. After all, you may even find a boy who is interested in the same activity!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spending Time with Guy Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go with the flow.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re hanging out with one or multiple boys, it’s likely that the time you spend with boy friends will be very different from when you’re with your girl friends. Knowing and being open to this difference will help you and your new friends enjoy your time together.\\nGoing with the flow can be as simple as letting go of expectations of what you will do with your guy friends. For example, if you’re invited over to a new boy friend’s place, don’t be surprised or annoyed if you spend the next few hours vegging out on the couch and watching sports.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the basics of some masculine activities.\", \"描述\": \"While girls tend to get together to talk or unwind together, many boys tend to get together for a specific activity, even if it’s just playing video games or scrimmaging basketball. Knowing the basics of at least a couple of these typically masculine activities will increase the likelihood of boys considering you to be “just one of the guys.” You may even discover a new, previously unexplored interest!\\nIf you’re already an active person, try taking up a new sport. If you’re a more sedentary person, explore what the latest video games are to see if any of them grab your interest. Even just watching a sport or keeping up with a specific team will give you a lot to discuss with your new friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Boys tend to bond over jokes and often even make of each other. Let them know if they’ve crossed a line, but also realize that joking at others’ expense is a common male activity.If you’re getting picked on but you know that you are actually friends with the boy, come up with some funny rebuttals.\\nFor example, if your friend makes fun of your poor performance in something, you can laugh along to let them know you aren’t too sensitive. You can also poke at one of their weaknesses in a funny way. Just be sure to keep it lighthearted!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Observe how guys interact with each other.\", \"描述\": \"Watching is one of the best ways to learn how to fit in. While it’s always going to be clear that you are different from boys, you can make this difference less noticeable by noticing how guys treat each other and imitating them.\\nWith this step, just make sure you are not going overboard. You should still display your natural personality but you can pick up little gestures, such as fist bumps as greetings and common topics that boys discuss and use them yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Social Pressures\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to stand up for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Due to gender norms and the sometimes unhealthy social environments in schools, don’t be surprised if you find others being unsupportive of your friendship or actively teasing you about it.\\nIf other kids accuse you of being in a romantic relationship or otherwise tease you about your friendship, practice some basic comebacks such as, “He’s a friend who happens to be a boy, so what?” If you don’t get worked up about it, eventually other kids will get tired of teasing you and leave you and your friend alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make it clear you are just friends.\", \"描述\": \"You may find pressure to turn your friendship into a romantic relationship but stick to what you want.\\nEven adults may inadvertently pressure you by asking questions such as, “Is he cute?” Let them know that you are not interested in his physical attributes and emphasize that you are just friends.\\nOne study has shown that boys and girls often have a hard time maintaining their relationships because they are pressured to make it romantic or sexual. If your boy friend starts pressuring you to turn the friendship into a relationship, make it clear that you are only interested in him platonically. If he stops being your friend after that, then he never was really your friend to begin with and you’ll find other people who won’t pressure you into something you don’t want.\\nTo keep the connection platonic you should decline romantic gestures, split all the tabs for social activities and make sure not to blur the lines of physical contact.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember your life is your own.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of the day, you make your own decisions about who you want to spend time with and how you want to live your life. Keeping this in mind will help you develop a stronger sense of self and not be overly affected by other people’s opinions.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being friends with boys can be difficult due to the various social pressures both girls and boys face! Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t happen overnight and don’t let it affect your own self-esteem if you find it harder to form friendships with boys than you expected.\\n\", \"Remember be yourself.\\n\", \"Share your interests and what you like. When boys find things that you both like, you become more interesting to them, and they wants to talk to you more.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"One study has found that having opposite gender friends during adolescence can negatively impact a student’s GPA, particularly if that student is a girl.[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Make sure to not let your friendships get in the way of doing well in school!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,735 | How to Be Friends with Someone Emotionally Unable to Be an Equally Supportive Friend | 1. Recognizing Emotionally Unavailable Friends
1-1. Identify traits of emotionally unavailable friends.
Find actions or behaviors of your friend that may show him to be emotionally unavailable. Some signs of emotional unavailability may be that your friend:
Does not maintain steady contact. Your friend may only occasionally keep in contact with you.
Prefers casual friendship. If your friend keeps most discussions on the surface, he may want a more casual friendship than you do.
Does not share personal information. Your friend may be unwilling to share or is secretive about themselves.
1-2. Pay attention who is contacting whom more often.
If you are always reaching out to them to talk or hang out, but they do not reciprocate, that may indicate a problem in your friendship.
If you are contacting your friend more often than they contact you, they may be emotionally unavailable or dealing with a stressful time.
It is also possible that your friend is a bit more of a loner than you are, and doesn't feel the need to spend as much time with others. This isn't necessarily something you should take personally.
1-3. Notice if there’s a difference in how much he knows about you and how much you know about him.
Friendships are about sharing in each other's lives. Do you always end up listening to your friend's problems, but when you have an issue, he's nowhere to be found? Or do you tend to overshare, burdening your friend with too much personal information?
Think about how much you share with your friend. Try to make it pretty even.
1-4. Look for consistent traits in your friend’s personality.
Your friend may have some major personality traits that show her to be emotionally unavailable.
Understand if your friend’s emotionally unavailability is temporary or permanent. She may be going through a difficult time or be depressed.
Talk to her to see if anything’s going on. If not, she may be unavailable on a more permanent basis.
If your friend is prone to anger, is arrogant, or evasive when you talk to her, she may not be open to an emotionally supportive relationship.
1-5. Realize if you’re being lied to or deceived.
Emotionally unavailable people may hide their true feelings or actions.
Don’t put up with someone lying to you. You deserve to have a fair and honest friendship.
Know that emotionally unavailable people may be lying because they are scared of being too open or sharing too much.
1-6. Look at his past friendships and relationships.
Your friend may have other friends or a significant other. These relationships tell you if your friend is emotionally unavailable to anyone else.
Look at your friend’s closest friends. If he does not have a many close friends, this may tell you something about his ability to connect with others.
Know your friend’s significant other or past romantic relationships. Emotionally unavailable people may have formed only basic bonds with others.
Consider whether he has had few romantic relationships or if those relationships ended poorly.
See how your friend thinks about or acts towards himself. He may be arrogant or evasive, but this may hide self-esteem problems.
2. Communicating Expectations
2-1. Make expectations clear.
Tell your friend what you want out of your friendship. Be assertive (not aggressive), meaning you clearly and respectfully state your wants and needs while accepting that your friend may have different wants and needs. Speak simply an honestly.
Try to communicate directly with your friend about problems in your friendship. Be clear and direct when talking to her.
Don’t assume she knows what you’re thinking. She may not even realize there is a problem.
Talk to your friend about your needs. She may not realize she has not been a good friend to you.
2-2. Listen to his response.
Allow your friend to be open and honest about how he feels. Listen actively to what he is saying — don't think about your defense or response while he is talking, take the time to hear what he is communicating. Encourage him with body language that indicates you are listening — nod when he makes a point and don't study your nails look at your phone, which may make it appear as though you aren't paying attention.
If he is defensive or evasive, this may mean he is not ready for the same type of friendship that you want.
2-3. Accept where your friend is with the friendship.
Your friend may be psychologically healthy, but has decided over time that she would prefer a more casual friendship with you than you would like with her. Remember that not all people are the same, and it's okay if someone doesn't want to be close friends with you — it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, or with her.
Do not give too much to someone in order to get something back. This can cause you to become resentful.
Adjust your expectations. Just because your friendship is different than what you would like does not mean you cannot be friends at all.
2-4. Hold your friend accountable.
If you’ve discussed relating to one another in a different way, make sure to do so.
Keep up your end of the friendship and make sure your friend does too.
Let him reach out to you. Some friends may take longer than others to adjust to a more open relationship.
Don’t smother him with your expectations, but give him space to come to you.
Don’t be resentful if he doesn't contact you immediately. It’s important to be open and friendly regardless. You may scare him off otherwise.
2-5. Be realistic about expectations.
Your friendship may not be what you want it to be.
Know that not every friend is going to be a lifelong or best friend.
Make plans with other friends. Don’t put your life on hold for your emotionally unavailable friend. Go and have fun with other people in your life.
Enjoy the time you have with your friend. Even if she cannot offer the same type of friendship, try to have fun when you are around each other.
Check with your friend, but don’t obsess over her. Make sure you are there for your friend if she needs it.
Don't spend too much time thinking about your friendship if it upsets you unnecessarily.
3. Knowing Your Limits
3-1. Help your friend out.
Your friend may be suffering, so be a good friend and find out why. See if you can help him.
Think about what’s going on in his life and how you may be able to help him overcome it.
Don’t play counselor, but do listen and share with your friend. He may just need someone to talk to.
3-2. Treat your friend with respect.
Know that her situation is unique and not strange. Reserve judgement and act fairly.
Do not judge. It's okay for her to go through a difficult time.
Encourage your friend to seek help from a doctor or a mental health professional. She can get help or treatment that can be beneficial to her well-being.
3-3. Think about your own health.
Make sure to take care yourself first and foremost.
Don't be overwhelmed by your friend’s needs.
Set limits or boundaries on what you'll tolerate and the time you spend with them if your friend is mistreating you.
Recognize the signs of an abusive friendship. An emotionally abusive relationship may involve name-calling, constant criticism, threatening you, making you feel guilty or as though you are doing something wrong, embarrassing you on purpose.
3-4. Leave immediately if your friend becomes physically or emotionally abusive.
Know that any situation can become more dangerous
Don't stick around if you feel unsafe.
Find someone who can help you or your friend.
3-5. Get help if you find your friend talking about committing suicide.
Take any threat seriously. Make sure you are cautious when dealing with potentially suicidal people.
Tell your friend's family or another trusted adult or mental health or medical professional immediately.
Call a community police officer or crisis center if anything gets out of hand or seems dangerous to you or your friend.
3-6. Find support for yourself.
It's important to take care of yourself as well. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by your friendship.
Join a support group, see a therapist, and do good things for yourself.
Talk to your other friends. They may be able to help you through this difficult time.
3-7. Remember the good times with your friend.
Even if you can't be friends anymore, don't let the end of your friendship dictate how you think of them forever.
Know that those memories are still important and valuable, even if your friendship is over.
Don't cut all ties. Maybe your friend will grow and change. Keep an open mind about being their friend again in the future.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Recognizing Emotionally Unavailable Friends\\n1-1. Identify traits of emotionally unavailable friends.\\nFind actions or behaviors of your friend that may show him to be emotionally unavailable. Some signs of emotional unavailability may be that your friend:\\nDoes not maintain steady contact. Your friend may only occasionally keep in contact with you.\\nPrefers casual friendship. If your friend keeps most discussions on the surface, he may want a more casual friendship than you do.\\nDoes not share personal information. Your friend may be unwilling to share or is secretive about themselves.\\n1-2. Pay attention who is contacting whom more often.\\nIf you are always reaching out to them to talk or hang out, but they do not reciprocate, that may indicate a problem in your friendship.\\nIf you are contacting your friend more often than they contact you, they may be emotionally unavailable or dealing with a stressful time.\\nIt is also possible that your friend is a bit more of a loner than you are, and doesn't feel the need to spend as much time with others. This isn't necessarily something you should take personally.\\n1-3. Notice if there’s a difference in how much he knows about you and how much you know about him.\\nFriendships are about sharing in each other's lives. Do you always end up listening to your friend's problems, but when you have an issue, he's nowhere to be found? Or do you tend to overshare, burdening your friend with too much personal information?\\nThink about how much you share with your friend. Try to make it pretty even.\\n1-4. Look for consistent traits in your friend’s personality.\\nYour friend may have some major personality traits that show her to be emotionally unavailable.\\nUnderstand if your friend’s emotionally unavailability is temporary or permanent. She may be going through a difficult time or be depressed.\\nTalk to her to see if anything’s going on. If not, she may be unavailable on a more permanent basis.\\nIf your friend is prone to anger, is arrogant, or evasive when you talk to her, she may not be open to an emotionally supportive relationship.\\n1-5. Realize if you’re being lied to or deceived.\\nEmotionally unavailable people may hide their true feelings or actions.\\nDon’t put up with someone lying to you. You deserve to have a fair and honest friendship.\\nKnow that emotionally unavailable people may be lying because they are scared of being too open or sharing too much.\\n1-6. Look at his past friendships and relationships.\\nYour friend may have other friends or a significant other. These relationships tell you if your friend is emotionally unavailable to anyone else.\\nLook at your friend’s closest friends. If he does not have a many close friends, this may tell you something about his ability to connect with others.\\nKnow your friend’s significant other or past romantic relationships. Emotionally unavailable people may have formed only basic bonds with others.\\nConsider whether he has had few romantic relationships or if those relationships ended poorly.\\nSee how your friend thinks about or acts towards himself. He may be arrogant or evasive, but this may hide self-esteem problems.\\n2. Communicating Expectations\\n2-1. Make expectations clear.\\nTell your friend what you want out of your friendship. Be assertive (not aggressive), meaning you clearly and respectfully state your wants and needs while accepting that your friend may have different wants and needs. Speak simply an honestly.\\nTry to communicate directly with your friend about problems in your friendship. Be clear and direct when talking to her.\\nDon’t assume she knows what you’re thinking. She may not even realize there is a problem.\\nTalk to your friend about your needs. She may not realize she has not been a good friend to you.\\n2-2. Listen to his response.\\nAllow your friend to be open and honest about how he feels. Listen actively to what he is saying — don't think about your defense or response while he is talking, take the time to hear what he is communicating. Encourage him with body language that indicates you are listening — nod when he makes a point and don't study your nails look at your phone, which may make it appear as though you aren't paying attention.\\nIf he is defensive or evasive, this may mean he is not ready for the same type of friendship that you want.\\n2-3. Accept where your friend is with the friendship.\\nYour friend may be psychologically healthy, but has decided over time that she would prefer a more casual friendship with you than you would like with her. Remember that not all people are the same, and it's okay if someone doesn't want to be close friends with you — it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, or with her.\\nDo not give too much to someone in order to get something back. This can cause you to become resentful.\\nAdjust your expectations. Just because your friendship is different than what you would like does not mean you cannot be friends at all.\\n2-4. Hold your friend accountable.\\nIf you’ve discussed relating to one another in a different way, make sure to do so.\\nKeep up your end of the friendship and make sure your friend does too.\\nLet him reach out to you. Some friends may take longer than others to adjust to a more open relationship.\\nDon’t smother him with your expectations, but give him space to come to you.\\nDon’t be resentful if he doesn't contact you immediately. It’s important to be open and friendly regardless. You may scare him off otherwise.\\n2-5. Be realistic about expectations.\\nYour friendship may not be what you want it to be.\\nKnow that not every friend is going to be a lifelong or best friend.\\nMake plans with other friends. Don’t put your life on hold for your emotionally unavailable friend. Go and have fun with other people in your life.\\nEnjoy the time you have with your friend. Even if she cannot offer the same type of friendship, try to have fun when you are around each other.\\nCheck with your friend, but don’t obsess over her. Make sure you are there for your friend if she needs it.\\nDon't spend too much time thinking about your friendship if it upsets you unnecessarily.\\n3. Knowing Your Limits\\n3-1. Help your friend out.\\nYour friend may be suffering, so be a good friend and find out why. See if you can help him.\\nThink about what’s going on in his life and how you may be able to help him overcome it.\\nDon’t play counselor, but do listen and share with your friend. He may just need someone to talk to.\\n3-2. Treat your friend with respect.\\nKnow that her situation is unique and not strange. Reserve judgement and act fairly.\\nDo not judge. It's okay for her to go through a difficult time.\\nEncourage your friend to seek help from a doctor or a mental health professional. She can get help or treatment that can be beneficial to her well-being.\\n3-3. Think about your own health.\\nMake sure to take care yourself first and foremost.\\nDon't be overwhelmed by your friend’s needs.\\nSet limits or boundaries on what you'll tolerate and the time you spend with them if your friend is mistreating you.\\nRecognize the signs of an abusive friendship. An emotionally abusive relationship may involve name-calling, constant criticism, threatening you, making you feel guilty or as though you are doing something wrong, embarrassing you on purpose.\\n3-4. Leave immediately if your friend becomes physically or emotionally abusive.\\nKnow that any situation can become more dangerous\\nDon't stick around if you feel unsafe.\\nFind someone who can help you or your friend.\\n3-5. Get help if you find your friend talking about committing suicide.\\nTake any threat seriously. Make sure you are cautious when dealing with potentially suicidal people.\\nTell your friend's family or another trusted adult or mental health or medical professional immediately.\\nCall a community police officer or crisis center if anything gets out of hand or seems dangerous to you or your friend.\\n3-6. Find support for yourself.\\nIt's important to take care of yourself as well. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by your friendship.\\nJoin a support group, see a therapist, and do good things for yourself.\\nTalk to your other friends. They may be able to help you through this difficult time.\\n3-7. Remember the good times with your friend.\\nEven if you can't be friends anymore, don't let the end of your friendship dictate how you think of them forever.\\nKnow that those memories are still important and valuable, even if your friendship is over.\\nDon't cut all ties. Maybe your friend will grow and change. Keep an open mind about being their friend again in the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Not all friendships are equal. You may have friends that do not offer as much to you as you do to them. If the person is particularly unable to be there for you, you may have an emotionally unavailable friend. Try to identify if your friend is emotionally unavailable, how to communicate with the person, and what to do about that friendship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognizing Emotionally Unavailable Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify traits of emotionally unavailable friends.\", \"描述\": \"Find actions or behaviors of your friend that may show him to be emotionally unavailable. Some signs of emotional unavailability may be that your friend:\\nDoes not maintain steady contact. Your friend may only occasionally keep in contact with you.\\nPrefers casual friendship. If your friend keeps most discussions on the surface, he may want a more casual friendship than you do.\\nDoes not share personal information. Your friend may be unwilling to share or is secretive about themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention who is contacting whom more often.\", \"描述\": \"If you are always reaching out to them to talk or hang out, but they do not reciprocate, that may indicate a problem in your friendship.\\nIf you are contacting your friend more often than they contact you, they may be emotionally unavailable or dealing with a stressful time.\\nIt is also possible that your friend is a bit more of a loner than you are, and doesn't feel the need to spend as much time with others. This isn't necessarily something you should take personally.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Notice if there’s a difference in how much he knows about you and how much you know about him.\", \"描述\": \"Friendships are about sharing in each other's lives. Do you always end up listening to your friend's problems, but when you have an issue, he's nowhere to be found? Or do you tend to overshare, burdening your friend with too much personal information?\\nThink about how much you share with your friend. Try to make it pretty even.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for consistent traits in your friend’s personality.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend may have some major personality traits that show her to be emotionally unavailable.\\nUnderstand if your friend’s emotionally unavailability is temporary or permanent. She may be going through a difficult time or be depressed.\\nTalk to her to see if anything’s going on. If not, she may be unavailable on a more permanent basis.\\nIf your friend is prone to anger, is arrogant, or evasive when you talk to her, she may not be open to an emotionally supportive relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Realize if you’re being lied to or deceived.\", \"描述\": \"Emotionally unavailable people may hide their true feelings or actions.\\nDon’t put up with someone lying to you. You deserve to have a fair and honest friendship.\\nKnow that emotionally unavailable people may be lying because they are scared of being too open or sharing too much.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look at his past friendships and relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend may have other friends or a significant other. These relationships tell you if your friend is emotionally unavailable to anyone else.\\nLook at your friend’s closest friends. If he does not have a many close friends, this may tell you something about his ability to connect with others.\\nKnow your friend’s significant other or past romantic relationships. Emotionally unavailable people may have formed only basic bonds with others.\\nConsider whether he has had few romantic relationships or if those relationships ended poorly.\\nSee how your friend thinks about or acts towards himself. He may be arrogant or evasive, but this may hide self-esteem problems.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Expectations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make expectations clear.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your friend what you want out of your friendship. Be assertive (not aggressive), meaning you clearly and respectfully state your wants and needs while accepting that your friend may have different wants and needs. Speak simply an honestly.\\nTry to communicate directly with your friend about problems in your friendship. Be clear and direct when talking to her.\\nDon’t assume she knows what you’re thinking. She may not even realize there is a problem.\\nTalk to your friend about your needs. She may not realize she has not been a good friend to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to his response.\", \"描述\": \"Allow your friend to be open and honest about how he feels. Listen actively to what he is saying — don't think about your defense or response while he is talking, take the time to hear what he is communicating. Encourage him with body language that indicates you are listening — nod when he makes a point and don't study your nails look at your phone, which may make it appear as though you aren't paying attention.\\nIf he is defensive or evasive, this may mean he is not ready for the same type of friendship that you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept where your friend is with the friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend may be psychologically healthy, but has decided over time that she would prefer a more casual friendship with you than you would like with her. Remember that not all people are the same, and it's okay if someone doesn't want to be close friends with you — it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, or with her.\\nDo not give too much to someone in order to get something back. This can cause you to become resentful.\\nAdjust your expectations. Just because your friendship is different than what you would like does not mean you cannot be friends at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold your friend accountable.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve discussed relating to one another in a different way, make sure to do so.\\nKeep up your end of the friendship and make sure your friend does too.\\nLet him reach out to you. Some friends may take longer than others to adjust to a more open relationship.\\nDon’t smother him with your expectations, but give him space to come to you.\\nDon’t be resentful if he doesn't contact you immediately. It’s important to be open and friendly regardless. You may scare him off otherwise.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be realistic about expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Your friendship may not be what you want it to be.\\nKnow that not every friend is going to be a lifelong or best friend.\\nMake plans with other friends. Don’t put your life on hold for your emotionally unavailable friend. Go and have fun with other people in your life.\\nEnjoy the time you have with your friend. Even if she cannot offer the same type of friendship, try to have fun when you are around each other.\\nCheck with your friend, but don’t obsess over her. Make sure you are there for your friend if she needs it.\\nDon't spend too much time thinking about your friendship if it upsets you unnecessarily.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Knowing Your Limits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help your friend out.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend may be suffering, so be a good friend and find out why. See if you can help him.\\nThink about what’s going on in his life and how you may be able to help him overcome it.\\nDon’t play counselor, but do listen and share with your friend. He may just need someone to talk to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat your friend with respect.\", \"描述\": \"Know that her situation is unique and not strange. Reserve judgement and act fairly.\\nDo not judge. It's okay for her to go through a difficult time.\\nEncourage your friend to seek help from a doctor or a mental health professional. She can get help or treatment that can be beneficial to her well-being.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think about your own health.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to take care yourself first and foremost.\\nDon't be overwhelmed by your friend’s needs.\\nSet limits or boundaries on what you'll tolerate and the time you spend with them if your friend is mistreating you.\\nRecognize the signs of an abusive friendship. An emotionally abusive relationship may involve name-calling, constant criticism, threatening you, making you feel guilty or as though you are doing something wrong, embarrassing you on purpose.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Leave immediately if your friend becomes physically or emotionally abusive.\", \"描述\": \"Know that any situation can become more dangerous\\nDon't stick around if you feel unsafe.\\nFind someone who can help you or your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get help if you find your friend talking about committing suicide.\", \"描述\": \"Take any threat seriously. Make sure you are cautious when dealing with potentially suicidal people.\\nTell your friend's family or another trusted adult or mental health or medical professional immediately.\\nCall a community police officer or crisis center if anything gets out of hand or seems dangerous to you or your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find support for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to take care of yourself as well. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by your friendship.\\nJoin a support group, see a therapist, and do good things for yourself.\\nTalk to your other friends. They may be able to help you through this difficult time.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Remember the good times with your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you can't be friends anymore, don't let the end of your friendship dictate how you think of them forever.\\nKnow that those memories are still important and valuable, even if your friendship is over.\\nDon't cut all ties. Maybe your friend will grow and change. Keep an open mind about being their friend again in the future.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,736 | How to Be Friends with Someone Who Attempted Suicide | 1. Offering Support
1-1. Be available.
The best thing you can do for a friend who attempted suicide is simply to be there to support them. Just offering hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to talk to can help your friend move on. Let your friend know that you are available for phone calls or spending time together. It's okay if your friend doesn't want to talk about the attempt. They may not be as expressive as they were in the past or may just feel numb. Don't let that stop you from spending time together. Your company might be all they need.
You don't have to bring up the suicide attempt, but you should be there for your friend if they want to talk about it.
If the attempt was recent, offer support by asking what you can do to help them, and let them know that you are glad they're still here.
1-2. Be understanding.
It may be hard for you to understand why your friend would make an attempt on their life. You'll probably have many different feelings about the attempt such as anger, shame, or guilt. But, being considerate of your friend's circumstances will be the most helpful. Try to understand the immense pain that was behind the attempt, whether it be pain from depression, pain from trauma, feelings of hopelessness, a recent loss or stressful event, feeling overwhelmed, illness, addiction or feeling isolated. Realize your friend is in emotional pain, regardless of the exact cause.
You may never fully understand the things that were going through a person's brain before a suicide attempt. But, if you care about your friend and the attempt happened recently, you can do your best to try to understand the pain they must have been in.
1-3. Listen.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your friend is just to sit back and listen. Give him or her space to express what they need to. Try to avoid interrupting or trying to "solve" problems. Don't compare your friend's situation to your own, or to another person's, and try to remember that what they're experiencing is unique to them. Give your friend your full attention by removing distractions. This will show your friend that you care because you are paying close attention.
Sometimes, listening is just as important as saying the right thing.
While listening, try to avoid judgment or an attempt to understand why. Instead, focus on how your friend is feeling and what they might be needing from you.
It may feel as though your friend wants to talk about the attempt all the time. That's natural as they process what happened. Be patient with your friend and let them talk as much as they need.
1-4. Offer help.
You can offer to help your friend in their time of need in big and small ways. Let your friend be your guide and ask what your friend needs most. Volunteer to help. You may also want to ask what they don't find helpful, in order to avoid doing something they don't want or need.
For example, if your friend is nervous about seeking therapy, you can offer to take them to the doctor's office. Or, if your friend is just overwhelmed by everything, you can offer to make dinner, watch your friend's kids, help your friend with homework, or just to do something that will lighten the load.
Just helping with the smallest tasks can make a big difference. Don't think that any task is too small to offer help for.
Help may also be in the form of taking your friend's mind off things. They may feel tired of talking about the attempt. Offer to take them out to dinner or the movies.
1-5. Learn about resources to help your friend.
If your friend has recently attempted suicide and you think they're at risk for attempting suicide again, do your best to keep your friend safe. Know who you can call or go to for help. You might go to a school counselor, parent, or even call 911 if your friend says they can't keep themselves safe. Several hotlines are available to offer help, including the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 (which you could call or text) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) in the U.S.
For outside the U.S., visit suicide resource websites for telephone numbers or online chats.
Remember that you cannot do this on your own. Your friend's family and other friends have to contribute to helping that person stay away from the things that might add to their suicidal feelings.
1-6. Ask your friend about how to keep them safe.
If your friend has been at the hospital after their attempt, or is seeing a therapist, they will likely have a safety plan. Ask your friend if you can know what the plan is, and how you can help. If your friend does not have a safety plan, you can find a guide online to help them create one. Find out from your friend how to tell if they're feeling depressed or overwhelmed and how you can help. Ask your friend how safe they feel and ask them to tell you what to look for in order to intervene.
For example, your friend may say that if they have not gotten out of bed all day and is avoiding phone calls, that is a sign that they are getting into a dark place. This would be your signal to call someone who can help.
1-7. Help your friend take small steps forward.
Your friend should be seeing a therapist or mental health care professional, and should consider medication. Aside from making sure your friend is getting additional recovery support, you can help your friend make small changes to improve their life. Your friend shouldn't be making drastic changes, but you may suggest minor things to accomplish.
For example, if your friend was depressed because of a failed relationship, you can slowly help your friend take their mind off of it by planning fun activities and helping your friend start dating when the time comes.
Or, if your friend is deeply unhappy because they feel that their career is at a dead end, you can help update their resume or talk about going back to school.
1-8. Make sure you're not alone.
Don't think you're being selfish by asking others (like friends, family, or mental health care professionals) to support you and your friend. This can keep you from feeling overwhelmed. If you do start feeling overwhelmed, tell your friend that you need a break, some alone time, or time with other friends or family to take care of yourself. Inform your friend that you want to take this time to refuel and that you'll return once you're refreshed. It may help to set boundaries by telling your friend what you're willing to do and not do.
For example, let your friend know you'd be happy to have a weekly dinner with them, but that you won't keep warning signs a secret and you'll get help to keep them safe.
Your friend shouldn't swear you to secrecy and it's important that other trusted people know about the attempt.
1-9. Offer hope.
Try to make your friend feel hopeful about the future. This can help protect against a future attempt. Try to get your friend thinking and talking about hope. Ask your friend how hope influences them. You may try asking:
Who is the one person you would call to help you feel hopeful in this moment?
What do you associate with hope, such as sensations, pictures, music, colors, objects?
How do you strengthen and nurture your hope?
What kinds of things threaten your hope?
Try to imagine a picture of hope. What do you see?
Where do you turn for hope when you are feeling hopeless?
1-10. Check in with your friend.
Make an effort to let your friend know that you're thinking of them even when you're not together. Ask your friend if you can check in on them, and how often they'd like you to do that. You can also ask your friend if they have a preferred way for you to check in such as a phone call, text, or a visit.
When you do check in, there is no need to ask your friend about suicide unless you think think they are a danger to themselves. Instead, just ask how they're doing or feeling, and if they need help with anything.
1-11. Look out for warning signs.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that your friend won't ever try to take their life again because they tried once and failed. Unfortunately, about 10% of people who threaten or try to die by suicide end up killing themselves. This doesn't mean you should be watching your friend's each and every move, but you should be extra vigilant to make sure your friend does not exhibit warning signs that indicate suicide. If you think there's a chance it might happen again, talk to someone and get help, especially if you notice threatening or talking about harming or killing themselves, talking or writing about death in a way that's unusual for them, or talking about not wanting to "be here." Remember warning signs by memorizing the mnemonic IS PATH WARM:
I - Ideation (a desire to die)
S - Substance Abuse
P - Purposelessness
A - Anxiety
T - Trapped
H - Hopelessness
W - Withdrawal
A - Anger
R - Recklessness
M - Mood change
2. Avoiding Harmful Behavior
2-1. Don't lecture at your friend for the attempt.
Your friend needs love and support, not a lesson on what is morally right or wrong. Your friend probably feels ashamed, guilty, and emotionally hurt. Lecturing your friend won't help you connect or maintain your relationship.
You may feel angry or guilty about your friend's attempt and want to ask about why they didn't ask for help. But questioning your friend won't be the most helpful for them or your relationship if the attempt was recent.
2-2. Acknowledge the suicide attempt.
Don't pretend like the attempt never happened or ignore it and hope that things go back to normal. You should not completely ignore what happened, even if your friend doesn't mention it. Try to say something nice and supportive, even if it doesn't come out right. It's better to bring it up than say nothing at all.
For example, you could say that you are sorry for how terrible your friend has been feeling, and ask if there is anything they need or that you can do. Whatever you say, reassure your friend that you care about them.
Remember that you're in an uncomfortable situation, and that nobody knows exactly how to act when someone close to them has made an attempt on their life.
2-3. Take the suicide attempt seriously.
Many people think that a suicide attempt was just a way to get attention and that the person wasn't really serious about taking their own life. A suicide attempt is a very serious situation and it shows that there are complex underlying factors and emotional pain for your friend. Avoid telling your friend that you think they did it just to get attention. In doing so, you are minimizing the seriousness of that life-changing decision and are making your friend feel terrible and unimportant in the process.
It's important to be as sensitive as possible. If you tell your friend that you think they did it just to get attention, then you're not really trying to understand the situation.
While it may be easier for you to minimize your friend's problems, this really won't help your friend move on from the attempt.
2-4. Don't make your friend feel guilty.
Making your friend feel guilty is insensitive, even if you may honestly feel hurt or betrayed by your friend's attempt. Your friend probably already feels guilt or shame for worrying the people around them. Instead of saying something like,"Weren't you thinking of your family or friends?" try to empathize with your friend.
Remember that your friend may still be feeling depressed or fragile, and what they need most is your support and love.
2-5. Give your friend some time.
There are no easily or quick solutions for dealing with a suicide attempt. You can't expect that medicating your friend will just make everything turn out okay. The thought process that leads to suicide is often complicated, and so is the process of recovering from a suicide attempt. Though it's important to make sure your friend gets the help they need, don't minimize your friend's problems by thinking that the solution is simple.
It's tempting to want to heal your friend and remove their pain so everything becomes normal. But remember that your friend has to work through the pain. The best thing you can do is support your friend and offer help.
Tips
Give your friend things to look forward to by planning activities that can make you both feel good, like running or exercising together, or going to the beach.
Let your friend know it's okay to cry and it's okay to have strange emotions. Just tell your friend not to get caught up in them. Inspire your friend.
Don't always feel like you have to do something large -- your company is enough. It's okay to sit and be together on a park bench or watching a movie at home.
Warnings
Any relationship with a person who is depressed or suicidal can be heartbreaking or challenging for a long time.
Give them space, if they don't want to talk. Don't try to force anything out of them.
Do not make the person who has attempted suicide feel cornered or trapped when you first try to have a full conversation with them.
No matter how sincere you are in your approach to someone that has attempted to take their life, your friendship may be rejected. Do not take this personally as it is very difficult for a person who is depressed or suicidal to accept the hand of a potential friend.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Offering Support\\n1-1. Be available.\\nThe best thing you can do for a friend who attempted suicide is simply to be there to support them. Just offering hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to talk to can help your friend move on. Let your friend know that you are available for phone calls or spending time together. It's okay if your friend doesn't want to talk about the attempt. They may not be as expressive as they were in the past or may just feel numb. Don't let that stop you from spending time together. Your company might be all they need.\\nYou don't have to bring up the suicide attempt, but you should be there for your friend if they want to talk about it.\\nIf the attempt was recent, offer support by asking what you can do to help them, and let them know that you are glad they're still here.\\n1-2. Be understanding.\\nIt may be hard for you to understand why your friend would make an attempt on their life. You'll probably have many different feelings about the attempt such as anger, shame, or guilt. But, being considerate of your friend's circumstances will be the most helpful. Try to understand the immense pain that was behind the attempt, whether it be pain from depression, pain from trauma, feelings of hopelessness, a recent loss or stressful event, feeling overwhelmed, illness, addiction or feeling isolated. Realize your friend is in emotional pain, regardless of the exact cause.\\nYou may never fully understand the things that were going through a person's brain before a suicide attempt. But, if you care about your friend and the attempt happened recently, you can do your best to try to understand the pain they must have been in.\\n1-3. Listen.\\nSometimes, the best thing you can do for your friend is just to sit back and listen. Give him or her space to express what they need to. Try to avoid interrupting or trying to \\\"solve\\\" problems. Don't compare your friend's situation to your own, or to another person's, and try to remember that what they're experiencing is unique to them. Give your friend your full attention by removing distractions. This will show your friend that you care because you are paying close attention.\\nSometimes, listening is just as important as saying the right thing.\\nWhile listening, try to avoid judgment or an attempt to understand why. Instead, focus on how your friend is feeling and what they might be needing from you.\\nIt may feel as though your friend wants to talk about the attempt all the time. That's natural as they process what happened. Be patient with your friend and let them talk as much as they need.\\n1-4. Offer help.\\nYou can offer to help your friend in their time of need in big and small ways. Let your friend be your guide and ask what your friend needs most. Volunteer to help. You may also want to ask what they don't find helpful, in order to avoid doing something they don't want or need.\\nFor example, if your friend is nervous about seeking therapy, you can offer to take them to the doctor's office. Or, if your friend is just overwhelmed by everything, you can offer to make dinner, watch your friend's kids, help your friend with homework, or just to do something that will lighten the load.\\nJust helping with the smallest tasks can make a big difference. Don't think that any task is too small to offer help for.\\nHelp may also be in the form of taking your friend's mind off things. They may feel tired of talking about the attempt. Offer to take them out to dinner or the movies.\\n1-5. Learn about resources to help your friend.\\nIf your friend has recently attempted suicide and you think they're at risk for attempting suicide again, do your best to keep your friend safe. Know who you can call or go to for help. You might go to a school counselor, parent, or even call 911 if your friend says they can't keep themselves safe. Several hotlines are available to offer help, including the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 (which you could call or text) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) in the U.S.\\nFor outside the U.S., visit suicide resource websites for telephone numbers or online chats.\\nRemember that you cannot do this on your own. Your friend's family and other friends have to contribute to helping that person stay away from the things that might add to their suicidal feelings.\\n1-6. Ask your friend about how to keep them safe.\\nIf your friend has been at the hospital after their attempt, or is seeing a therapist, they will likely have a safety plan. Ask your friend if you can know what the plan is, and how you can help. If your friend does not have a safety plan, you can find a guide online to help them create one. Find out from your friend how to tell if they're feeling depressed or overwhelmed and how you can help. Ask your friend how safe they feel and ask them to tell you what to look for in order to intervene.\\nFor example, your friend may say that if they have not gotten out of bed all day and is avoiding phone calls, that is a sign that they are getting into a dark place. This would be your signal to call someone who can help.\\n1-7. Help your friend take small steps forward.\\nYour friend should be seeing a therapist or mental health care professional, and should consider medication. Aside from making sure your friend is getting additional recovery support, you can help your friend make small changes to improve their life. Your friend shouldn't be making drastic changes, but you may suggest minor things to accomplish.\\nFor example, if your friend was depressed because of a failed relationship, you can slowly help your friend take their mind off of it by planning fun activities and helping your friend start dating when the time comes.\\nOr, if your friend is deeply unhappy because they feel that their career is at a dead end, you can help update their resume or talk about going back to school.\\n1-8. Make sure you're not alone.\\nDon't think you're being selfish by asking others (like friends, family, or mental health care professionals) to support you and your friend. This can keep you from feeling overwhelmed. If you do start feeling overwhelmed, tell your friend that you need a break, some alone time, or time with other friends or family to take care of yourself. Inform your friend that you want to take this time to refuel and that you'll return once you're refreshed. It may help to set boundaries by telling your friend what you're willing to do and not do.\\nFor example, let your friend know you'd be happy to have a weekly dinner with them, but that you won't keep warning signs a secret and you'll get help to keep them safe.\\nYour friend shouldn't swear you to secrecy and it's important that other trusted people know about the attempt.\\n1-9. Offer hope.\\nTry to make your friend feel hopeful about the future. This can help protect against a future attempt. Try to get your friend thinking and talking about hope. Ask your friend how hope influences them. You may try asking:\\nWho is the one person you would call to help you feel hopeful in this moment?\\nWhat do you associate with hope, such as sensations, pictures, music, colors, objects?\\nHow do you strengthen and nurture your hope?\\nWhat kinds of things threaten your hope?\\nTry to imagine a picture of hope. What do you see?\\nWhere do you turn for hope when you are feeling hopeless?\\n1-10. Check in with your friend.\\nMake an effort to let your friend know that you're thinking of them even when you're not together. Ask your friend if you can check in on them, and how often they'd like you to do that. You can also ask your friend if they have a preferred way for you to check in such as a phone call, text, or a visit.\\nWhen you do check in, there is no need to ask your friend about suicide unless you think think they are a danger to themselves. Instead, just ask how they're doing or feeling, and if they need help with anything.\\n1-11. Look out for warning signs.\\nDon't make the mistake of thinking that your friend won't ever try to take their life again because they tried once and failed. Unfortunately, about 10% of people who threaten or try to die by suicide end up killing themselves. This doesn't mean you should be watching your friend's each and every move, but you should be extra vigilant to make sure your friend does not exhibit warning signs that indicate suicide. If you think there's a chance it might happen again, talk to someone and get help, especially if you notice threatening or talking about harming or killing themselves, talking or writing about death in a way that's unusual for them, or talking about not wanting to \\\"be here.\\\" Remember warning signs by memorizing the mnemonic IS PATH WARM:\\nI - Ideation (a desire to die)\\nS - Substance Abuse\\nP - Purposelessness\\nA - Anxiety\\nT - Trapped\\nH - Hopelessness\\nW - Withdrawal\\nA - Anger\\nR - Recklessness\\nM - Mood change\\n2. Avoiding Harmful Behavior\\n2-1. Don't lecture at your friend for the attempt.\\nYour friend needs love and support, not a lesson on what is morally right or wrong. Your friend probably feels ashamed, guilty, and emotionally hurt. Lecturing your friend won't help you connect or maintain your relationship.\\nYou may feel angry or guilty about your friend's attempt and want to ask about why they didn't ask for help. But questioning your friend won't be the most helpful for them or your relationship if the attempt was recent.\\n2-2. Acknowledge the suicide attempt.\\nDon't pretend like the attempt never happened or ignore it and hope that things go back to normal. You should not completely ignore what happened, even if your friend doesn't mention it. Try to say something nice and supportive, even if it doesn't come out right. It's better to bring it up than say nothing at all.\\nFor example, you could say that you are sorry for how terrible your friend has been feeling, and ask if there is anything they need or that you can do. Whatever you say, reassure your friend that you care about them.\\nRemember that you're in an uncomfortable situation, and that nobody knows exactly how to act when someone close to them has made an attempt on their life.\\n2-3. Take the suicide attempt seriously.\\nMany people think that a suicide attempt was just a way to get attention and that the person wasn't really serious about taking their own life. A suicide attempt is a very serious situation and it shows that there are complex underlying factors and emotional pain for your friend. Avoid telling your friend that you think they did it just to get attention. In doing so, you are minimizing the seriousness of that life-changing decision and are making your friend feel terrible and unimportant in the process.\\nIt's important to be as sensitive as possible. If you tell your friend that you think they did it just to get attention, then you're not really trying to understand the situation.\\nWhile it may be easier for you to minimize your friend's problems, this really won't help your friend move on from the attempt.\\n2-4. Don't make your friend feel guilty.\\nMaking your friend feel guilty is insensitive, even if you may honestly feel hurt or betrayed by your friend's attempt. Your friend probably already feels guilt or shame for worrying the people around them. Instead of saying something like,\\\"Weren't you thinking of your family or friends?\\\" try to empathize with your friend.\\nRemember that your friend may still be feeling depressed or fragile, and what they need most is your support and love.\\n2-5. Give your friend some time.\\nThere are no easily or quick solutions for dealing with a suicide attempt. You can't expect that medicating your friend will just make everything turn out okay. The thought process that leads to suicide is often complicated, and so is the process of recovering from a suicide attempt. Though it's important to make sure your friend gets the help they need, don't minimize your friend's problems by thinking that the solution is simple.\\nIt's tempting to want to heal your friend and remove their pain so everything becomes normal. But remember that your friend has to work through the pain. The best thing you can do is support your friend and offer help.\\nTips\\nGive your friend things to look forward to by planning activities that can make you both feel good, like running or exercising together, or going to the beach.\\nLet your friend know it's okay to cry and it's okay to have strange emotions. Just tell your friend not to get caught up in them. Inspire your friend.\\nDon't always feel like you have to do something large -- your company is enough. It's okay to sit and be together on a park bench or watching a movie at home.\\nWarnings\\nAny relationship with a person who is depressed or suicidal can be heartbreaking or challenging for a long time.\\nGive them space, if they don't want to talk. Don't try to force anything out of them.\\nDo not make the person who has attempted suicide feel cornered or trapped when you first try to have a full conversation with them.\\nNo matter how sincere you are in your approach to someone that has attempted to take their life, your friendship may be rejected. Do not take this personally as it is very difficult for a person who is depressed or suicidal to accept the hand of a potential friend.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're friends with someone who attempted suicide, then you must be worried for your friend while feeling like you don't know what to say or do. The best thing you can do is offer your care and support, and be there as your friend moves forward from this difficult time. It's important to be thoughtful, caring, and kind toward your friend and to handle the situation with care.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offering Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be available.\", \"描述\": \"The best thing you can do for a friend who attempted suicide is simply to be there to support them. Just offering hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to talk to can help your friend move on. Let your friend know that you are available for phone calls or spending time together. It's okay if your friend doesn't want to talk about the attempt. They may not be as expressive as they were in the past or may just feel numb. Don't let that stop you from spending time together. Your company might be all they need.\\nYou don't have to bring up the suicide attempt, but you should be there for your friend if they want to talk about it.\\nIf the attempt was recent, offer support by asking what you can do to help them, and let them know that you are glad they're still here.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be understanding.\", \"描述\": \"It may be hard for you to understand why your friend would make an attempt on their life. You'll probably have many different feelings about the attempt such as anger, shame, or guilt. But, being considerate of your friend's circumstances will be the most helpful. Try to understand the immense pain that was behind the attempt, whether it be pain from depression, pain from trauma, feelings of hopelessness, a recent loss or stressful event, feeling overwhelmed, illness, addiction or feeling isolated. Realize your friend is in emotional pain, regardless of the exact cause.\\nYou may never fully understand the things that were going through a person's brain before a suicide attempt. But, if you care about your friend and the attempt happened recently, you can do your best to try to understand the pain they must have been in.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your friend is just to sit back and listen. Give him or her space to express what they need to. Try to avoid interrupting or trying to \\\"solve\\\" problems. Don't compare your friend's situation to your own, or to another person's, and try to remember that what they're experiencing is unique to them. Give your friend your full attention by removing distractions. This will show your friend that you care because you are paying close attention.\\nSometimes, listening is just as important as saying the right thing.\\nWhile listening, try to avoid judgment or an attempt to understand why. Instead, focus on how your friend is feeling and what they might be needing from you.\\nIt may feel as though your friend wants to talk about the attempt all the time. That's natural as they process what happened. Be patient with your friend and let them talk as much as they need.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer help.\", \"描述\": \"You can offer to help your friend in their time of need in big and small ways. Let your friend be your guide and ask what your friend needs most. Volunteer to help. You may also want to ask what they don't find helpful, in order to avoid doing something they don't want or need.\\nFor example, if your friend is nervous about seeking therapy, you can offer to take them to the doctor's office. Or, if your friend is just overwhelmed by everything, you can offer to make dinner, watch your friend's kids, help your friend with homework, or just to do something that will lighten the load.\\nJust helping with the smallest tasks can make a big difference. Don't think that any task is too small to offer help for.\\nHelp may also be in the form of taking your friend's mind off things. They may feel tired of talking about the attempt. Offer to take them out to dinner or the movies.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn about resources to help your friend.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend has recently attempted suicide and you think they're at risk for attempting suicide again, do your best to keep your friend safe. Know who you can call or go to for help. You might go to a school counselor, parent, or even call 911 if your friend says they can't keep themselves safe. Several hotlines are available to offer help, including the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 (which you could call or text) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) in the U.S.\\nFor outside the U.S., visit suicide resource websites for telephone numbers or online chats.\\nRemember that you cannot do this on your own. Your friend's family and other friends have to contribute to helping that person stay away from the things that might add to their suicidal feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend about how to keep them safe.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend has been at the hospital after their attempt, or is seeing a therapist, they will likely have a safety plan. Ask your friend if you can know what the plan is, and how you can help. If your friend does not have a safety plan, you can find a guide online to help them create one. Find out from your friend how to tell if they're feeling depressed or overwhelmed and how you can help. Ask your friend how safe they feel and ask them to tell you what to look for in order to intervene.\\nFor example, your friend may say that if they have not gotten out of bed all day and is avoiding phone calls, that is a sign that they are getting into a dark place. This would be your signal to call someone who can help.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Help your friend take small steps forward.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend should be seeing a therapist or mental health care professional, and should consider medication. Aside from making sure your friend is getting additional recovery support, you can help your friend make small changes to improve their life. Your friend shouldn't be making drastic changes, but you may suggest minor things to accomplish.\\nFor example, if your friend was depressed because of a failed relationship, you can slowly help your friend take their mind off of it by planning fun activities and helping your friend start dating when the time comes.\\nOr, if your friend is deeply unhappy because they feel that their career is at a dead end, you can help update their resume or talk about going back to school.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Make sure you're not alone.\", \"描述\": \"Don't think you're being selfish by asking others (like friends, family, or mental health care professionals) to support you and your friend. This can keep you from feeling overwhelmed. If you do start feeling overwhelmed, tell your friend that you need a break, some alone time, or time with other friends or family to take care of yourself. Inform your friend that you want to take this time to refuel and that you'll return once you're refreshed. It may help to set boundaries by telling your friend what you're willing to do and not do.\\nFor example, let your friend know you'd be happy to have a weekly dinner with them, but that you won't keep warning signs a secret and you'll get help to keep them safe.\\nYour friend shouldn't swear you to secrecy and it's important that other trusted people know about the attempt.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Offer hope.\", \"描述\": \"Try to make your friend feel hopeful about the future. This can help protect against a future attempt. Try to get your friend thinking and talking about hope. Ask your friend how hope influences them. You may try asking:\\nWho is the one person you would call to help you feel hopeful in this moment?\\nWhat do you associate with hope, such as sensations, pictures, music, colors, objects?\\nHow do you strengthen and nurture your hope?\\nWhat kinds of things threaten your hope?\\nTry to imagine a picture of hope. What do you see?\\nWhere do you turn for hope when you are feeling hopeless?\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Check in with your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Make an effort to let your friend know that you're thinking of them even when you're not together. Ask your friend if you can check in on them, and how often they'd like you to do that. You can also ask your friend if they have a preferred way for you to check in such as a phone call, text, or a visit.\\nWhen you do check in, there is no need to ask your friend about suicide unless you think think they are a danger to themselves. Instead, just ask how they're doing or feeling, and if they need help with anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Look out for warning signs.\", \"描述\": \"Don't make the mistake of thinking that your friend won't ever try to take their life again because they tried once and failed. Unfortunately, about 10% of people who threaten or try to die by suicide end up killing themselves. This doesn't mean you should be watching your friend's each and every move, but you should be extra vigilant to make sure your friend does not exhibit warning signs that indicate suicide. If you think there's a chance it might happen again, talk to someone and get help, especially if you notice threatening or talking about harming or killing themselves, talking or writing about death in a way that's unusual for them, or talking about not wanting to \\\"be here.\\\" Remember warning signs by memorizing the mnemonic IS PATH WARM:\\nI - Ideation (a desire to die)\\nS - Substance Abuse\\nP - Purposelessness\\nA - Anxiety\\nT - Trapped\\nH - Hopelessness\\nW - Withdrawal\\nA - Anger\\nR - Recklessness\\nM - Mood change\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Harmful Behavior\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't lecture at your friend for the attempt.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend needs love and support, not a lesson on what is morally right or wrong. Your friend probably feels ashamed, guilty, and emotionally hurt. Lecturing your friend won't help you connect or maintain your relationship.\\nYou may feel angry or guilty about your friend's attempt and want to ask about why they didn't ask for help. But questioning your friend won't be the most helpful for them or your relationship if the attempt was recent.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the suicide attempt.\", \"描述\": \"Don't pretend like the attempt never happened or ignore it and hope that things go back to normal. You should not completely ignore what happened, even if your friend doesn't mention it. Try to say something nice and supportive, even if it doesn't come out right. It's better to bring it up than say nothing at all.\\nFor example, you could say that you are sorry for how terrible your friend has been feeling, and ask if there is anything they need or that you can do. Whatever you say, reassure your friend that you care about them.\\nRemember that you're in an uncomfortable situation, and that nobody knows exactly how to act when someone close to them has made an attempt on their life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take the suicide attempt seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Many people think that a suicide attempt was just a way to get attention and that the person wasn't really serious about taking their own life. A suicide attempt is a very serious situation and it shows that there are complex underlying factors and emotional pain for your friend. Avoid telling your friend that you think they did it just to get attention. In doing so, you are minimizing the seriousness of that life-changing decision and are making your friend feel terrible and unimportant in the process.\\nIt's important to be as sensitive as possible. If you tell your friend that you think they did it just to get attention, then you're not really trying to understand the situation.\\nWhile it may be easier for you to minimize your friend's problems, this really won't help your friend move on from the attempt.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't make your friend feel guilty.\", \"描述\": \"Making your friend feel guilty is insensitive, even if you may honestly feel hurt or betrayed by your friend's attempt. Your friend probably already feels guilt or shame for worrying the people around them. Instead of saying something like,\\\"Weren't you thinking of your family or friends?\\\" try to empathize with your friend.\\nRemember that your friend may still be feeling depressed or fragile, and what they need most is your support and love.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give your friend some time.\", \"描述\": \"There are no easily or quick solutions for dealing with a suicide attempt. You can't expect that medicating your friend will just make everything turn out okay. The thought process that leads to suicide is often complicated, and so is the process of recovering from a suicide attempt. Though it's important to make sure your friend gets the help they need, don't minimize your friend's problems by thinking that the solution is simple.\\nIt's tempting to want to heal your friend and remove their pain so everything becomes normal. But remember that your friend has to work through the pain. The best thing you can do is support your friend and offer help.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Give your friend things to look forward to by planning activities that can make you both feel good, like running or exercising together, or going to the beach.\\n\", \"Let your friend know it's okay to cry and it's okay to have strange emotions. Just tell your friend not to get caught up in them. Inspire your friend.\\n\", \"Don't always feel like you have to do something large -- your company is enough. It's okay to sit and be together on a park bench or watching a movie at home.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Any relationship with a person who is depressed or suicidal can be heartbreaking or challenging for a long time.\\n\", \"Give them space, if they don't want to talk. Don't try to force anything out of them.\\n\", \"Do not make the person who has attempted suicide feel cornered or trapped when you first try to have a full conversation with them.\\n\", \"No matter how sincere you are in your approach to someone that has attempted to take their life, your friendship may be rejected. Do not take this personally as it is very difficult for a person who is depressed or suicidal to accept the hand of a potential friend.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,737 | How to Be Friends with Your Coworkers | 1. Being Approachable
1-1. Be mindful of the work culture.
Before approaching and initiating a friendship opportunity with a coworker, be sure to take note of the overall office culture. Each company has it’s own culture with varying atmospheres, attitudes, beliefs, values, morals, and other attributes. How are all of these shared between the team members and how do they communicate between one another? Observing this will help you identify the most acceptable way to mingle with coworkers.
Be extra careful with how you interact with coworkers of a different status; appropriate conversation may be more restricted in this circumstance.
1-2. Greet them each day.
The first step to making a friend anywhere is to say “hello.” It would be quite challenging to befriend someone you’ve never actually spoken to. Whether you’re interested in one friend in particular or the group as a whole, start by greeting your coworkers with a warm smile each day.
You might simply say, “Morning!” when you enter the office. Or, address one coworker specifically, like “Good morning, Rosa! How was your commute?”
1-3. Make yourself available.
Typically, the aura you give off at work lets your coworkers know whether you are open to socializing. If you enter the office without speaking, go straight to your cubicle and remain there for the rest of the day, you’ll have trouble connecting with your coworkers.
Instead, try some tips to show them you’re open and willing to connect. If you have an office, leave your door open unless it’s necessary to close it. Eat lunch in the common room rather than sitting at your cubicle or going outside alone.
1-4. Be attentive.
When engaged in conversation with a coworker, focus on making them feel like they are the most important person in the room. If you do this, they will be encouraged to chat with you in the future.
For instance, don’t glance down at your watch or turn your body towards the exit. Make eye contact, use open body language (i.e. unfolded arms and legs), and actively listen.
1-5. Act interested by asking open-ended questions.
Here’s a secret: people love to talk about themselves. You’ll likely win over your coworkers more easily if you act interested in them. Take advantage of natural breaks in your workday to get to know your coworkers better.
Use open ended-questions that get the conversation flowing. These might sound like “I heard you mention hockey. What got you interested in the sport?” or “You sure look content this Monday, Donna! How’d you spend your weekend?”
1-6. Resist being rude when you're caught up in work.
If you are cordial at work, others will likely gravitate to you. This doesn’t mean dismissing your work responsibilities for the sake of making friends. It means not being so caught up in getting ahead that you shut out opportunities to connect.
For instance, your coworker knocks on your door and invite you to after-work drinks. Without glancing away from your computer, you say, “I don’t have time. I’ve got to meet this deadline.” Responding this way may come off as rude and unapproachable—your coworker may not extend an invitation in the future.
Even if you can’t join in, you might make eye contact, offer an encouraging smile, and say, “Oh, thanks for the invite, Sam. Sadly, I’m struggling to meet a deadline. But once I get this project complete, I’d love to take you up on that offer.”
2. Being Friendly
2-1. Show empathy.
Empathy is important for all relationships because it helps you built trust and rapport with others. A lack of empathy can make you seem brusque and unfriendly. What’s more, being indifferent to others’ emotional experiences can lead to alienation in the workplace.
Demonstrate empathy in your work relationships by paying more attention to the social cues of the environment. You shouldn’t be so caught up in work that you fail to notice your office-mate is crying or has been absent for a week.
When you notice another’s emotions, speak on it. You might say, “You seem upset, Josie. Is there something I can do?” Or, call or email your absentee colleague and say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been out of work for the past few days. Is everything okay? Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
2-2. Remember what’s important to them.
Good friends recall the key details of their friends’ lives. To demonstrate your interest and show that you can be a good friend, try to do the same for your coworkers. This shows you’re paying attention and actually makes the two of you feel more connected.
If you’re friends on Facebook and know their birthday is coming up, purchase a cupcake or decorate their cubicle for their special day.
If they have kids, try to remember their names and ask about them regularly.
If you go to coffee regularly with a coworker, you might ask, “Non-fat latte and cinnamon scone, again, Tracie?”
2-3. Lend a hand.
Being helpful is a great quality to have in a friend. If you spot a coworker in a bind, reach out and offer some assistance. They’ll feel like you care. And, you’ll have an opportunity to spend more time with this person and get to know them better.
Determine what level of helping best suits your relationship with the person and your office culture. For instance, if your office discourages helping a coworker outside your department, avoid doing so. But, you can still lend a hand if the same person needs help carrying materials to a conference room or if they have trouble setting up the equipment.
2-4. Ask for help or advice.
Close relationships are grounded in vulnerability. A person is likely to feel more emotionally connected to you if you show off your vulnerable side. You can do this by requesting their assistance on a work-related matter.
You might defer to their expertise on a project like, “Charlie, I know you coordinated the conference last year and you did an awesome job. I’m having a tough time corralling up vendors. Do you have any pointers to help me move this along?
People naturally feel good about helping others. So, asking for help or advice works favorably for both parties.
2-5. Avoid engaging in office gossip.
If you’re wanting healthy friendships with people in the workplace, it’s best to avoid any form of office gossip. While the smallest gossip chatter may seem harmless and innocent, it can easily spiral out of proportion. It is best to stay out of any gossip you overhear and avoid making any judgments.
3. Engaging in Activities Together
3-1. Participate in work events.
Most companies sponsor a variety of events throughout the year that allow their employees to network and forge bonds with one another. Rather than flaking on these events, try to attend a few and connect with your coworkers outside the office.
Examples might include hosting a charity event, participating in a 5k or joining the company baseball team.
3-2. Start an office book club.
During office-hours, there’s not always adequate time to engage with your coworkers and tease out their interests. A workplace group activity such as a book club can be a terrific platform to forge deeper relationships and figure out what you have in common with one another.
Put up a memo or send out an email asking who’s interested in participating in a book club. You and your coworkers can vote on the genre and specific books for each month. Then, meet up over coffee or drinks to discuss the book.
What’s more, if you select business or personal development books, your boss will likely appreciate your willingness to enhance your skills while promoting workplace bonding.
3-3. Schedule regular lunch dates.
People naturally bond over meals, so take advantage of the lunch hour to foster potential friendships. Plus, eating together can make you more productive after the lunch hour and serve as a wonderful way to network.
You might simply join the group in the office break room or suggest a new restaurant you all can try. For instance, you might say, “I have been dying to try the new deli on the corner. Anyone game to go with me tomorrow for lunch?”
3-4. Invite them somewhere based on their interests.
You don’t have to stick to company events or lunch hour if you’re trying to connect with your coworkers. Listen to their common interests and use what you hear to pursue deeper relationships with one or two people.
For instance, if you spotted John reading a poetry book last week, you might casually say, “John, there’s a poetry grand slam happening at a coffee shop next Friday. I know you love poetry. Do you want to go?”
Or, you might invite several people to an activity at once, such a new movie premiere or a community charity event.
Tips
Remember to keep work time and free time distinctly separate once you become friends with your coworkers.[13]
X
Expert Source
Lauren KrasnyExecutive, Strategic, & Personal Coach
Expert Interview. 27 March 2020.
Resist bringing up assignments, tasks, and projects after hours and goofing off with them while in your cubicle.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:48",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Approachable\\n1-1. Be mindful of the work culture.\\nBefore approaching and initiating a friendship opportunity with a coworker, be sure to take note of the overall office culture. Each company has it’s own culture with varying atmospheres, attitudes, beliefs, values, morals, and other attributes. How are all of these shared between the team members and how do they communicate between one another? Observing this will help you identify the most acceptable way to mingle with coworkers.\\nBe extra careful with how you interact with coworkers of a different status; appropriate conversation may be more restricted in this circumstance.\\n1-2. Greet them each day.\\nThe first step to making a friend anywhere is to say “hello.” It would be quite challenging to befriend someone you’ve never actually spoken to. Whether you’re interested in one friend in particular or the group as a whole, start by greeting your coworkers with a warm smile each day.\\nYou might simply say, “Morning!” when you enter the office. Or, address one coworker specifically, like “Good morning, Rosa! How was your commute?”\\n1-3. Make yourself available.\\nTypically, the aura you give off at work lets your coworkers know whether you are open to socializing. If you enter the office without speaking, go straight to your cubicle and remain there for the rest of the day, you’ll have trouble connecting with your coworkers.\\nInstead, try some tips to show them you’re open and willing to connect. If you have an office, leave your door open unless it’s necessary to close it. Eat lunch in the common room rather than sitting at your cubicle or going outside alone.\\n1-4. Be attentive.\\nWhen engaged in conversation with a coworker, focus on making them feel like they are the most important person in the room. If you do this, they will be encouraged to chat with you in the future.\\nFor instance, don’t glance down at your watch or turn your body towards the exit. Make eye contact, use open body language (i.e. unfolded arms and legs), and actively listen.\\n1-5. Act interested by asking open-ended questions.\\nHere’s a secret: people love to talk about themselves. You’ll likely win over your coworkers more easily if you act interested in them. Take advantage of natural breaks in your workday to get to know your coworkers better.\\nUse open ended-questions that get the conversation flowing. These might sound like “I heard you mention hockey. What got you interested in the sport?” or “You sure look content this Monday, Donna! How’d you spend your weekend?”\\n1-6. Resist being rude when you're caught up in work.\\nIf you are cordial at work, others will likely gravitate to you. This doesn’t mean dismissing your work responsibilities for the sake of making friends. It means not being so caught up in getting ahead that you shut out opportunities to connect.\\nFor instance, your coworker knocks on your door and invite you to after-work drinks. Without glancing away from your computer, you say, “I don’t have time. I’ve got to meet this deadline.” Responding this way may come off as rude and unapproachable—your coworker may not extend an invitation in the future.\\nEven if you can’t join in, you might make eye contact, offer an encouraging smile, and say, “Oh, thanks for the invite, Sam. Sadly, I’m struggling to meet a deadline. But once I get this project complete, I’d love to take you up on that offer.”\\n2. Being Friendly\\n2-1. Show empathy.\\nEmpathy is important for all relationships because it helps you built trust and rapport with others. A lack of empathy can make you seem brusque and unfriendly. What’s more, being indifferent to others’ emotional experiences can lead to alienation in the workplace.\\nDemonstrate empathy in your work relationships by paying more attention to the social cues of the environment. You shouldn’t be so caught up in work that you fail to notice your office-mate is crying or has been absent for a week.\\nWhen you notice another’s emotions, speak on it. You might say, “You seem upset, Josie. Is there something I can do?” Or, call or email your absentee colleague and say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been out of work for the past few days. Is everything okay? Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”\\n2-2. Remember what’s important to them.\\nGood friends recall the key details of their friends’ lives. To demonstrate your interest and show that you can be a good friend, try to do the same for your coworkers. This shows you’re paying attention and actually makes the two of you feel more connected.\\nIf you’re friends on Facebook and know their birthday is coming up, purchase a cupcake or decorate their cubicle for their special day.\\nIf they have kids, try to remember their names and ask about them regularly.\\nIf you go to coffee regularly with a coworker, you might ask, “Non-fat latte and cinnamon scone, again, Tracie?”\\n2-3. Lend a hand.\\nBeing helpful is a great quality to have in a friend. If you spot a coworker in a bind, reach out and offer some assistance. They’ll feel like you care. And, you’ll have an opportunity to spend more time with this person and get to know them better.\\nDetermine what level of helping best suits your relationship with the person and your office culture. For instance, if your office discourages helping a coworker outside your department, avoid doing so. But, you can still lend a hand if the same person needs help carrying materials to a conference room or if they have trouble setting up the equipment.\\n2-4. Ask for help or advice.\\nClose relationships are grounded in vulnerability. A person is likely to feel more emotionally connected to you if you show off your vulnerable side. You can do this by requesting their assistance on a work-related matter.\\nYou might defer to their expertise on a project like, “Charlie, I know you coordinated the conference last year and you did an awesome job. I’m having a tough time corralling up vendors. Do you have any pointers to help me move this along?\\nPeople naturally feel good about helping others. So, asking for help or advice works favorably for both parties.\\n2-5. Avoid engaging in office gossip.\\nIf you’re wanting healthy friendships with people in the workplace, it’s best to avoid any form of office gossip. While the smallest gossip chatter may seem harmless and innocent, it can easily spiral out of proportion. It is best to stay out of any gossip you overhear and avoid making any judgments.\\n3. Engaging in Activities Together\\n3-1. Participate in work events.\\nMost companies sponsor a variety of events throughout the year that allow their employees to network and forge bonds with one another. Rather than flaking on these events, try to attend a few and connect with your coworkers outside the office.\\nExamples might include hosting a charity event, participating in a 5k or joining the company baseball team.\\n3-2. Start an office book club.\\nDuring office-hours, there’s not always adequate time to engage with your coworkers and tease out their interests. A workplace group activity such as a book club can be a terrific platform to forge deeper relationships and figure out what you have in common with one another.\\nPut up a memo or send out an email asking who’s interested in participating in a book club. You and your coworkers can vote on the genre and specific books for each month. Then, meet up over coffee or drinks to discuss the book.\\nWhat’s more, if you select business or personal development books, your boss will likely appreciate your willingness to enhance your skills while promoting workplace bonding.\\n3-3. Schedule regular lunch dates.\\nPeople naturally bond over meals, so take advantage of the lunch hour to foster potential friendships. Plus, eating together can make you more productive after the lunch hour and serve as a wonderful way to network.\\nYou might simply join the group in the office break room or suggest a new restaurant you all can try. For instance, you might say, “I have been dying to try the new deli on the corner. Anyone game to go with me tomorrow for lunch?”\\n3-4. Invite them somewhere based on their interests.\\nYou don’t have to stick to company events or lunch hour if you’re trying to connect with your coworkers. Listen to their common interests and use what you hear to pursue deeper relationships with one or two people.\\nFor instance, if you spotted John reading a poetry book last week, you might casually say, “John, there’s a poetry grand slam happening at a coffee shop next Friday. I know you love poetry. Do you want to go?”\\nOr, you might invite several people to an activity at once, such a new movie premiere or a community charity event.\\nTips\\nRemember to keep work time and free time distinctly separate once you become friends with your coworkers.[13]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLauren KrasnyExecutive, Strategic, & Personal Coach\\nExpert Interview. 27 March 2020.\\n\\n Resist bringing up assignments, tasks, and projects after hours and goofing off with them while in your cubicle.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Studies prove that people who have friends at work are more satisfied with their jobs and more engaged in the workplace. Aside from the benefits gained for your employer, having good friends at work offers you social support, encouragement through difficult times, and makes going to work more fun. If you’d like to foster friendships with your coworkers, you can do so by being approachable, exhibiting the key traits of a good friend, and suggesting activities to build a connection.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Approachable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be mindful of the work culture.\", \"描述\": \"Before approaching and initiating a friendship opportunity with a coworker, be sure to take note of the overall office culture. Each company has it’s own culture with varying atmospheres, attitudes, beliefs, values, morals, and other attributes. How are all of these shared between the team members and how do they communicate between one another? Observing this will help you identify the most acceptable way to mingle with coworkers.\\nBe extra careful with how you interact with coworkers of a different status; appropriate conversation may be more restricted in this circumstance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Greet them each day.\", \"描述\": \"The first step to making a friend anywhere is to say “hello.” It would be quite challenging to befriend someone you’ve never actually spoken to. Whether you’re interested in one friend in particular or the group as a whole, start by greeting your coworkers with a warm smile each day.\\nYou might simply say, “Morning!” when you enter the office. Or, address one coworker specifically, like “Good morning, Rosa! How was your commute?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make yourself available.\", \"描述\": \"Typically, the aura you give off at work lets your coworkers know whether you are open to socializing. If you enter the office without speaking, go straight to your cubicle and remain there for the rest of the day, you’ll have trouble connecting with your coworkers.\\nInstead, try some tips to show them you’re open and willing to connect. If you have an office, leave your door open unless it’s necessary to close it. Eat lunch in the common room rather than sitting at your cubicle or going outside alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be attentive.\", \"描述\": \"When engaged in conversation with a coworker, focus on making them feel like they are the most important person in the room. If you do this, they will be encouraged to chat with you in the future.\\nFor instance, don’t glance down at your watch or turn your body towards the exit. Make eye contact, use open body language (i.e. unfolded arms and legs), and actively listen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Act interested by asking open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"Here’s a secret: people love to talk about themselves. You’ll likely win over your coworkers more easily if you act interested in them. Take advantage of natural breaks in your workday to get to know your coworkers better.\\nUse open ended-questions that get the conversation flowing. These might sound like “I heard you mention hockey. What got you interested in the sport?” or “You sure look content this Monday, Donna! How’d you spend your weekend?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Resist being rude when you're caught up in work.\", \"描述\": \"If you are cordial at work, others will likely gravitate to you. This doesn’t mean dismissing your work responsibilities for the sake of making friends. It means not being so caught up in getting ahead that you shut out opportunities to connect.\\nFor instance, your coworker knocks on your door and invite you to after-work drinks. Without glancing away from your computer, you say, “I don’t have time. I’ve got to meet this deadline.” Responding this way may come off as rude and unapproachable—your coworker may not extend an invitation in the future.\\nEven if you can’t join in, you might make eye contact, offer an encouraging smile, and say, “Oh, thanks for the invite, Sam. Sadly, I’m struggling to meet a deadline. But once I get this project complete, I’d love to take you up on that offer.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Friendly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show empathy.\", \"描述\": \"Empathy is important for all relationships because it helps you built trust and rapport with others. A lack of empathy can make you seem brusque and unfriendly. What’s more, being indifferent to others’ emotional experiences can lead to alienation in the workplace.\\nDemonstrate empathy in your work relationships by paying more attention to the social cues of the environment. You shouldn’t be so caught up in work that you fail to notice your office-mate is crying or has been absent for a week.\\nWhen you notice another’s emotions, speak on it. You might say, “You seem upset, Josie. Is there something I can do?” Or, call or email your absentee colleague and say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been out of work for the past few days. Is everything okay? Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember what’s important to them.\", \"描述\": \"Good friends recall the key details of their friends’ lives. To demonstrate your interest and show that you can be a good friend, try to do the same for your coworkers. This shows you’re paying attention and actually makes the two of you feel more connected.\\nIf you’re friends on Facebook and know their birthday is coming up, purchase a cupcake or decorate their cubicle for their special day.\\nIf they have kids, try to remember their names and ask about them regularly.\\nIf you go to coffee regularly with a coworker, you might ask, “Non-fat latte and cinnamon scone, again, Tracie?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Lend a hand.\", \"描述\": \"Being helpful is a great quality to have in a friend. If you spot a coworker in a bind, reach out and offer some assistance. They’ll feel like you care. And, you’ll have an opportunity to spend more time with this person and get to know them better.\\nDetermine what level of helping best suits your relationship with the person and your office culture. For instance, if your office discourages helping a coworker outside your department, avoid doing so. But, you can still lend a hand if the same person needs help carrying materials to a conference room or if they have trouble setting up the equipment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for help or advice.\", \"描述\": \"Close relationships are grounded in vulnerability. A person is likely to feel more emotionally connected to you if you show off your vulnerable side. You can do this by requesting their assistance on a work-related matter.\\nYou might defer to their expertise on a project like, “Charlie, I know you coordinated the conference last year and you did an awesome job. I’m having a tough time corralling up vendors. Do you have any pointers to help me move this along?\\nPeople naturally feel good about helping others. So, asking for help or advice works favorably for both parties.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid engaging in office gossip.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re wanting healthy friendships with people in the workplace, it’s best to avoid any form of office gossip. While the smallest gossip chatter may seem harmless and innocent, it can easily spiral out of proportion. It is best to stay out of any gossip you overhear and avoid making any judgments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engaging in Activities Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Participate in work events.\", \"描述\": \"Most companies sponsor a variety of events throughout the year that allow their employees to network and forge bonds with one another. Rather than flaking on these events, try to attend a few and connect with your coworkers outside the office.\\nExamples might include hosting a charity event, participating in a 5k or joining the company baseball team.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start an office book club.\", \"描述\": \"During office-hours, there’s not always adequate time to engage with your coworkers and tease out their interests. A workplace group activity such as a book club can be a terrific platform to forge deeper relationships and figure out what you have in common with one another.\\nPut up a memo or send out an email asking who’s interested in participating in a book club. You and your coworkers can vote on the genre and specific books for each month. Then, meet up over coffee or drinks to discuss the book.\\nWhat’s more, if you select business or personal development books, your boss will likely appreciate your willingness to enhance your skills while promoting workplace bonding.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Schedule regular lunch dates.\", \"描述\": \"People naturally bond over meals, so take advantage of the lunch hour to foster potential friendships. Plus, eating together can make you more productive after the lunch hour and serve as a wonderful way to network.\\nYou might simply join the group in the office break room or suggest a new restaurant you all can try. For instance, you might say, “I have been dying to try the new deli on the corner. Anyone game to go with me tomorrow for lunch?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invite them somewhere based on their interests.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to stick to company events or lunch hour if you’re trying to connect with your coworkers. Listen to their common interests and use what you hear to pursue deeper relationships with one or two people.\\nFor instance, if you spotted John reading a poetry book last week, you might casually say, “John, there’s a poetry grand slam happening at a coffee shop next Friday. I know you love poetry. Do you want to go?”\\nOr, you might invite several people to an activity at once, such a new movie premiere or a community charity event.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember to keep work time and free time distinctly separate once you become friends with your coworkers.[13]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLauren KrasnyExecutive, Strategic, & Personal Coach\\nExpert Interview. 27 March 2020.\\n\\n Resist bringing up assignments, tasks, and projects after hours and goofing off with them while in your cubicle.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,738 | How to Be Friends with Your Parents | 1. Developing a Friendship as Adults
1-1. Share a hobby.
Common interests are one of the threads that help tie friendships together. If you want to befriend your parent, show interest in their hobbies or passions. This allows you to spend more time with them and interact with them in a different way.
Consider your parent’s hobbies. Find one that interests you and start doing it together.
For example, if your dad likes fishing, you might purchase a fishing rod to join him.
1-2. Communicate openly.
One of the wonderful attributes of a friendship is the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, dreams and ideas. If you’re hoping to be friends with your parent, open communication must be possible.
Start sharing more of your thoughts and opinions with your parent. For example, you might tell a story that you’ve never shared or ask their opinion on a political or philosophical position.
1-3. Include your parents in your life.
Make an effort to involve your parents in your life, and the lives of your own children, if you have any. Invite them to family events, bring the grandkids for a visit, or plan a trip together with your parents.
1-4. Be reliable.
Good friendships require that you be a reliable companion. This means that you can’t bail on an outing at the last possible minute or completely forget to return your parent’s call. Peers your age may be more forgiving about such behavior, but your parent may not. Bottom line: try to be someone your parent can count on.
1-5. Listen
Active listening is a necessary component of a healthy friendship. You may groan because you’ve spent your whole life listening to your parent lay down the rules. However, listening as a friend is much different than listening as a child.
Try to really understand what your parent is trying to say when they speak. Paraphrase, validate their emotional experience and ask clarifying questions to be sure you get the right message.
1-6. Offer and ask for advice.
A friendship is a reciprocal relationship, which means it requires give and take. You’re probably already accustomed to getting advice from them, but you should also get used to handing out advice to your parent if you want to become their friend.
Are you unsure of what advice you could offer them? Millennials can help their parents learn to navigate new technologies and even introduce single parents to online dating.
In a similar vein, reach out to your parent when you need guidance. Let them know that you don’t want them to fix your problem for you, but you would like some suggestions.
1-7. Disagree, respectfully.
Though it doesn’t feel good to fight with friends, it happens. You and your parent are bound to disagree, also. To respect their authority in your life, be sure to show deference when you disagree.
For instance, if you were disagreeing with a normal friend, you might say, “No, you’re wrong.” With a parent, it may be more productive to say something like, “I disagree, Dad” to express your opinion respectfully.
In a disagreement with a parent, use a neutral tone of voice as opposed to yelling, and get some distance if you become upset.
2. Strengthening Your Relationship during Childhood
2-1. Express an interest in them.
Kids are often so caught up in their own lives that they never even get to know their parents until they're much older. If you want to improve your relationship with your parent as a kid or teen, start taking an interest in your parent's job, interests, and background.
You might ask questions like "So, Dad, what was it like for you growing up?" or "How was work today, Mom?"
You might also connect with them by sharing an interest, such as watching the same TV show or going to sporting events together.
2-2. Spend quality time together.
Building a relationship takes time, so use yours to get to know your parent one-on-one. When you spend time together alone, you can ask questions, learn their quirks, and develop your conversation skills.
Next time your parent is doing a task like picking up leaves in the yard, offer to help out so you can spend time with them.
Create opportunities for quality time by making plans with your parents. For example, you might say, “Hey, Mom, want to go for a walk with me?” Use your time together to chat or have a heart-to-heart talk.
2-3. Be affectionate.
Many people think affection is reserved for romantic relationships. In reality, friends are affectionate toward one another, too. Decide on a level of affection that suits your parent’s style and regularly display it.
Show warmth in the way you greet and interact with your parent, regardless if that means a slap on the back or a hug and kiss.
Showing affection may also mean cheering them up when they’re down, or regularly saying “I love you!”
2-4. Give them gifts.
Most parents love getting gifts for their kids, whether it’s for a birthday or a holiday, to mark an important accomplishment, or just because. Show appreciation for your parents by giving them something, too.
If you don’t have enough money to buy a gift, make something by hand, or surprise them by cooking a meal or fixing something around the house. Most parents will be thrilled by the thoughtful gesture!
2-5. Support their goals.
Friends support one another, so find ways to root your parent on. This may translate to getting over your feelings about them remarrying or helping out with a new business venture. Whatever the situation, look for opportunities to show your parent you’ve got their back.
3. Being Realistic
3-1. Don't expect to be BFFs.
If you're a child or teen, it's unrealistic to expect to be best buds with your mom or dad. It's hard to do that when they are still actively parenting you on a daily basis. It's more realistic to hope for a positive relationship with them in which you can confide in them and count on them to listen. It's also good if you two spend quality time together.
As you grow older, you may notice the relationship changing into one more similar to a real friendship. But, don't expect this when you're young.
3-2. Set healthy boundaries
Discuss the ground rules of the friendship early on to prevent complications. No matter how close you and your parent are, both of you should still maintain personal boundaries. These are guidelines that help both of you feel safe and comfortable in the relationship.
Sit down and have a discussion with your parent about boundaries. Share yours, and listen to theirs.
For example, if you're an adult, you might express a boundary for your parent to call before visiting your home.
Parents of adult children sometimes get pushy or over-involved out of good intentions. If your parent is overstepping their boundaries or behaving in a way that bothers you, respectfully let them know.
3-3. Accept their faults.
Unlike when you were a small child, you probably know by now that your parent isn’t the superhero you once thought they were. Parents are human, too, which means they make mistakes and have faults. If you want to develop a friendship with your parent, you must be willing to accept these shortcomings.
3-4. Expect one-sidedness.
You might aspire to have a true friendship with your parent, but this friendship may never be one of complete equals. There is a power differential between a parent and a child, even when that child becomes an adult. There won’t be total reciprocity as with your other friendships.
For example, although you might share secrets with your parent, they may not confide in you about everything. This is appropriate since confiding in children often leads to undue stress.
Also, unlike other friends, your parent may sometimes pull rank by telling you a decision or behavior is unacceptable, even when you become an adult.
3-5. Maintain separate lives and interests.
In order for parents and their children to have successful friendships, limits must be in place for the relationship. Neither you nor your parent should completely depend on the other for socialization. Consider this relationship a bonus in addition to those you have with peers your own age.
To prevent children and parents from becoming enmeshed, each should maintain their own separate social lives and interests.
You may be in an enmeshed relationship if you find yourself neglecting other relationships, or if your mood and self-esteem are strongly dependent on your relationship with your parents.
If you feel you are in an enmeshed relationship with your parents, practice spending time alone and building up relationships with others. If you’re really struggling, consider seeing a counselor.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing a Friendship as Adults\\n1-1. Share a hobby.\\nCommon interests are one of the threads that help tie friendships together. If you want to befriend your parent, show interest in their hobbies or passions. This allows you to spend more time with them and interact with them in a different way.\\nConsider your parent’s hobbies. Find one that interests you and start doing it together.\\nFor example, if your dad likes fishing, you might purchase a fishing rod to join him.\\n1-2. Communicate openly.\\nOne of the wonderful attributes of a friendship is the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, dreams and ideas. If you’re hoping to be friends with your parent, open communication must be possible.\\nStart sharing more of your thoughts and opinions with your parent. For example, you might tell a story that you’ve never shared or ask their opinion on a political or philosophical position.\\n1-3. Include your parents in your life.\\nMake an effort to involve your parents in your life, and the lives of your own children, if you have any. Invite them to family events, bring the grandkids for a visit, or plan a trip together with your parents.\\n1-4. Be reliable.\\nGood friendships require that you be a reliable companion. This means that you can’t bail on an outing at the last possible minute or completely forget to return your parent’s call. Peers your age may be more forgiving about such behavior, but your parent may not. Bottom line: try to be someone your parent can count on.\\n1-5. Listen\\nActive listening is a necessary component of a healthy friendship. You may groan because you’ve spent your whole life listening to your parent lay down the rules. However, listening as a friend is much different than listening as a child.\\nTry to really understand what your parent is trying to say when they speak. Paraphrase, validate their emotional experience and ask clarifying questions to be sure you get the right message.\\n1-6. Offer and ask for advice.\\nA friendship is a reciprocal relationship, which means it requires give and take. You’re probably already accustomed to getting advice from them, but you should also get used to handing out advice to your parent if you want to become their friend.\\nAre you unsure of what advice you could offer them? Millennials can help their parents learn to navigate new technologies and even introduce single parents to online dating.\\nIn a similar vein, reach out to your parent when you need guidance. Let them know that you don’t want them to fix your problem for you, but you would like some suggestions.\\n1-7. Disagree, respectfully.\\nThough it doesn’t feel good to fight with friends, it happens. You and your parent are bound to disagree, also. To respect their authority in your life, be sure to show deference when you disagree.\\nFor instance, if you were disagreeing with a normal friend, you might say, “No, you’re wrong.” With a parent, it may be more productive to say something like, “I disagree, Dad” to express your opinion respectfully.\\nIn a disagreement with a parent, use a neutral tone of voice as opposed to yelling, and get some distance if you become upset.\\n2. Strengthening Your Relationship during Childhood\\n2-1. Express an interest in them.\\nKids are often so caught up in their own lives that they never even get to know their parents until they're much older. If you want to improve your relationship with your parent as a kid or teen, start taking an interest in your parent's job, interests, and background.\\nYou might ask questions like \\\"So, Dad, what was it like for you growing up?\\\" or \\\"How was work today, Mom?\\\"\\nYou might also connect with them by sharing an interest, such as watching the same TV show or going to sporting events together.\\n2-2. Spend quality time together.\\nBuilding a relationship takes time, so use yours to get to know your parent one-on-one. When you spend time together alone, you can ask questions, learn their quirks, and develop your conversation skills.\\nNext time your parent is doing a task like picking up leaves in the yard, offer to help out so you can spend time with them.\\nCreate opportunities for quality time by making plans with your parents. For example, you might say, “Hey, Mom, want to go for a walk with me?” Use your time together to chat or have a heart-to-heart talk.\\n2-3. Be affectionate.\\nMany people think affection is reserved for romantic relationships. In reality, friends are affectionate toward one another, too. Decide on a level of affection that suits your parent’s style and regularly display it.\\nShow warmth in the way you greet and interact with your parent, regardless if that means a slap on the back or a hug and kiss.\\nShowing affection may also mean cheering them up when they’re down, or regularly saying “I love you!”\\n2-4. Give them gifts.\\nMost parents love getting gifts for their kids, whether it’s for a birthday or a holiday, to mark an important accomplishment, or just because. Show appreciation for your parents by giving them something, too. \\nIf you don’t have enough money to buy a gift, make something by hand, or surprise them by cooking a meal or fixing something around the house. Most parents will be thrilled by the thoughtful gesture!\\n2-5. Support their goals.\\nFriends support one another, so find ways to root your parent on. This may translate to getting over your feelings about them remarrying or helping out with a new business venture. Whatever the situation, look for opportunities to show your parent you’ve got their back.\\n3. Being Realistic\\n3-1. Don't expect to be BFFs.\\nIf you're a child or teen, it's unrealistic to expect to be best buds with your mom or dad. It's hard to do that when they are still actively parenting you on a daily basis. It's more realistic to hope for a positive relationship with them in which you can confide in them and count on them to listen. It's also good if you two spend quality time together.\\nAs you grow older, you may notice the relationship changing into one more similar to a real friendship. But, don't expect this when you're young.\\n3-2. Set healthy boundaries\\nDiscuss the ground rules of the friendship early on to prevent complications. No matter how close you and your parent are, both of you should still maintain personal boundaries. These are guidelines that help both of you feel safe and comfortable in the relationship.\\nSit down and have a discussion with your parent about boundaries. Share yours, and listen to theirs.\\nFor example, if you're an adult, you might express a boundary for your parent to call before visiting your home.\\nParents of adult children sometimes get pushy or over-involved out of good intentions. If your parent is overstepping their boundaries or behaving in a way that bothers you, respectfully let them know.\\n3-3. Accept their faults.\\nUnlike when you were a small child, you probably know by now that your parent isn’t the superhero you once thought they were. Parents are human, too, which means they make mistakes and have faults. If you want to develop a friendship with your parent, you must be willing to accept these shortcomings.\\n3-4. Expect one-sidedness.\\nYou might aspire to have a true friendship with your parent, but this friendship may never be one of complete equals. There is a power differential between a parent and a child, even when that child becomes an adult. There won’t be total reciprocity as with your other friendships.\\nFor example, although you might share secrets with your parent, they may not confide in you about everything. This is appropriate since confiding in children often leads to undue stress.\\nAlso, unlike other friends, your parent may sometimes pull rank by telling you a decision or behavior is unacceptable, even when you become an adult.\\n3-5. Maintain separate lives and interests.\\nIn order for parents and their children to have successful friendships, limits must be in place for the relationship. Neither you nor your parent should completely depend on the other for socialization. Consider this relationship a bonus in addition to those you have with peers your own age.\\nTo prevent children and parents from becoming enmeshed, each should maintain their own separate social lives and interests.\\nYou may be in an enmeshed relationship if you find yourself neglecting other relationships, or if your mood and self-esteem are strongly dependent on your relationship with your parents.\\nIf you feel you are in an enmeshed relationship with your parents, practice spending time alone and building up relationships with others. If you’re really struggling, consider seeing a counselor.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re much younger, an equal friendship with a parent is generally off the table. That’s because traditional child-rearing practices like setting and enforcing rules get in the way. However, as a kid, you can still work to build a better relationship with your mom or dad. Then, when you become an adult, you can strive to continue that relationship on more of an equal playing field. No matter what, this person is still your parent, so prepare to set realistic expectations about the friendship, too.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing a Friendship as Adults\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Share a hobby.\", \"描述\": \"Common interests are one of the threads that help tie friendships together. If you want to befriend your parent, show interest in their hobbies or passions. This allows you to spend more time with them and interact with them in a different way.\\nConsider your parent’s hobbies. Find one that interests you and start doing it together.\\nFor example, if your dad likes fishing, you might purchase a fishing rod to join him.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate openly.\", \"描述\": \"One of the wonderful attributes of a friendship is the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, dreams and ideas. If you’re hoping to be friends with your parent, open communication must be possible.\\nStart sharing more of your thoughts and opinions with your parent. For example, you might tell a story that you’ve never shared or ask their opinion on a political or philosophical position.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include your parents in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Make an effort to involve your parents in your life, and the lives of your own children, if you have any. Invite them to family events, bring the grandkids for a visit, or plan a trip together with your parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be reliable.\", \"描述\": \"Good friendships require that you be a reliable companion. This means that you can’t bail on an outing at the last possible minute or completely forget to return your parent’s call. Peers your age may be more forgiving about such behavior, but your parent may not. Bottom line: try to be someone your parent can count on.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen\", \"描述\": \"Active listening is a necessary component of a healthy friendship. You may groan because you’ve spent your whole life listening to your parent lay down the rules. However, listening as a friend is much different than listening as a child.\\nTry to really understand what your parent is trying to say when they speak. Paraphrase, validate their emotional experience and ask clarifying questions to be sure you get the right message.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Offer and ask for advice.\", \"描述\": \"A friendship is a reciprocal relationship, which means it requires give and take. You’re probably already accustomed to getting advice from them, but you should also get used to handing out advice to your parent if you want to become their friend.\\nAre you unsure of what advice you could offer them? Millennials can help their parents learn to navigate new technologies and even introduce single parents to online dating.\\nIn a similar vein, reach out to your parent when you need guidance. Let them know that you don’t want them to fix your problem for you, but you would like some suggestions.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Disagree, respectfully.\", \"描述\": \"Though it doesn’t feel good to fight with friends, it happens. You and your parent are bound to disagree, also. To respect their authority in your life, be sure to show deference when you disagree.\\nFor instance, if you were disagreeing with a normal friend, you might say, “No, you’re wrong.” With a parent, it may be more productive to say something like, “I disagree, Dad” to express your opinion respectfully.\\nIn a disagreement with a parent, use a neutral tone of voice as opposed to yelling, and get some distance if you become upset.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strengthening Your Relationship during Childhood\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express an interest in them.\", \"描述\": \"Kids are often so caught up in their own lives that they never even get to know their parents until they're much older. If you want to improve your relationship with your parent as a kid or teen, start taking an interest in your parent's job, interests, and background.\\nYou might ask questions like \\\"So, Dad, what was it like for you growing up?\\\" or \\\"How was work today, Mom?\\\"\\nYou might also connect with them by sharing an interest, such as watching the same TV show or going to sporting events together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend quality time together.\", \"描述\": \"Building a relationship takes time, so use yours to get to know your parent one-on-one. When you spend time together alone, you can ask questions, learn their quirks, and develop your conversation skills.\\nNext time your parent is doing a task like picking up leaves in the yard, offer to help out so you can spend time with them.\\nCreate opportunities for quality time by making plans with your parents. For example, you might say, “Hey, Mom, want to go for a walk with me?” Use your time together to chat or have a heart-to-heart talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be affectionate.\", \"描述\": \"Many people think affection is reserved for romantic relationships. In reality, friends are affectionate toward one another, too. Decide on a level of affection that suits your parent’s style and regularly display it.\\nShow warmth in the way you greet and interact with your parent, regardless if that means a slap on the back or a hug and kiss.\\nShowing affection may also mean cheering them up when they’re down, or regularly saying “I love you!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give them gifts.\", \"描述\": \"Most parents love getting gifts for their kids, whether it’s for a birthday or a holiday, to mark an important accomplishment, or just because. Show appreciation for your parents by giving them something, too. \\nIf you don’t have enough money to buy a gift, make something by hand, or surprise them by cooking a meal or fixing something around the house. Most parents will be thrilled by the thoughtful gesture!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support their goals.\", \"描述\": \"Friends support one another, so find ways to root your parent on. This may translate to getting over your feelings about them remarrying or helping out with a new business venture. Whatever the situation, look for opportunities to show your parent you’ve got their back.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Realistic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't expect to be BFFs.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a child or teen, it's unrealistic to expect to be best buds with your mom or dad. It's hard to do that when they are still actively parenting you on a daily basis. It's more realistic to hope for a positive relationship with them in which you can confide in them and count on them to listen. It's also good if you two spend quality time together.\\nAs you grow older, you may notice the relationship changing into one more similar to a real friendship. But, don't expect this when you're young.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set healthy boundaries\", \"描述\": \"Discuss the ground rules of the friendship early on to prevent complications. No matter how close you and your parent are, both of you should still maintain personal boundaries. These are guidelines that help both of you feel safe and comfortable in the relationship.\\nSit down and have a discussion with your parent about boundaries. Share yours, and listen to theirs.\\nFor example, if you're an adult, you might express a boundary for your parent to call before visiting your home.\\nParents of adult children sometimes get pushy or over-involved out of good intentions. If your parent is overstepping their boundaries or behaving in a way that bothers you, respectfully let them know.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept their faults.\", \"描述\": \"Unlike when you were a small child, you probably know by now that your parent isn’t the superhero you once thought they were. Parents are human, too, which means they make mistakes and have faults. If you want to develop a friendship with your parent, you must be willing to accept these shortcomings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Expect one-sidedness.\", \"描述\": \"You might aspire to have a true friendship with your parent, but this friendship may never be one of complete equals. There is a power differential between a parent and a child, even when that child becomes an adult. There won’t be total reciprocity as with your other friendships.\\nFor example, although you might share secrets with your parent, they may not confide in you about everything. This is appropriate since confiding in children often leads to undue stress.\\nAlso, unlike other friends, your parent may sometimes pull rank by telling you a decision or behavior is unacceptable, even when you become an adult.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain separate lives and interests.\", \"描述\": \"In order for parents and their children to have successful friendships, limits must be in place for the relationship. Neither you nor your parent should completely depend on the other for socialization. Consider this relationship a bonus in addition to those you have with peers your own age.\\nTo prevent children and parents from becoming enmeshed, each should maintain their own separate social lives and interests.\\nYou may be in an enmeshed relationship if you find yourself neglecting other relationships, or if your mood and self-esteem are strongly dependent on your relationship with your parents.\\nIf you feel you are in an enmeshed relationship with your parents, practice spending time alone and building up relationships with others. If you’re really struggling, consider seeing a counselor.\"}]}]}}",
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3,739 | How to Be Friends with Your Pet | 1. Establishing Confidence
1-1. Be calm.
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Breathe regularly, make your movements smooth and slow (though not so slow that they look abnormal, as this will also freak some animals out), and speak in a calm, normal voice. Avoid being loud.
Just think how you would feel if someone seemed to be nervous around you, was fidgeting a lot and speaking loudly and nervously, and making quick, jerky movements. This would make most people feel at least a little nervous — it’s the same for animals.
Try to always be calm when dealing with your pets, no matter what they’ve done. If you’re very upset at them, take a moment to calm yourself down before dealing with them. You want them to respect you, not fear you.
1-2. Be patient.
Realize that it could take some time to build a lasting bond with your pet. Some animals, like puppies and kittens, might naturally be more easy around you than smaller mammals and reptiles, who might be more prone to defensive behavior.
If your pet doesn’t warm up to you right away, give it time. With consistent, kind, respectful behavior, and the appropriate use of treats, you should be able to win it over.
1-3. Be consistent.
Be consistent in everything you do, from feeding to training, and everything in between. Pets are like children in that they need consistency and structure in order to feel safe and secure.
When they know what they can expect from you, your pets are more likely to feel comfortable around you (unless what they can expect from you is unpredictable, aggressive behavior … which they won’t like).
1-4. Be the boss.
Set rules and boundaries, and stick to them. Set aside time to practice these rules and boundaries with your pet each day. If your pet breaks a rule, use body language and calm but firm words to let them know that what they have done is not okay. Once you’ve established that you’re the boss, it’s okay to be more soft and loving with them, while still consistently enforcing the rules.
With dogs they call this being the “alpha dog.” Dogs are happiest when they have confidence that you are their leader and can make decisions for them. They can then have freedom off lead and with people, other animals and in strange situations because they look to you for guidance and you pass on confidence. It’s okay for you to feel that you are “friends” with your dog, but your dog needs to know that you are his leader.
Cats can be less easy to control, as they often like being the alpha. If your cat bullies you (often attacking you or ignoring your rules), a good way to train it is to simply ignore it when it does bad things, and praise it when it does things that you approve of. Cats might not like being controlled, but they like being ignored even less.
Food is a good way to establish that you’re the boss. Most animals will notice that you’re the one that feeds them every day, which will make them look forward to seeing you. If you give them treats when they do something good, they’ll want to make you happy.
1-5. Never use violent actions or language to communicate your displeasure with your pet.
If your pet does something you disapprove of, calmly and firmly let them know it’s not okay without physically hurting them or screaming at them. Hurting them will make them more likely to attack you, not obey you.
1-6. Understand your pet’s body language.
Body language is vastly different depending on what sort of animal you have chosen for your pet. If you’re unsure of your pet’s body language, consider buying a book or reading some websites devoted to your specific animal. Understanding your pet’s body language will help you to be a better communicator, as you can even mimic some of their stances, expressions and sounds to send your message in a way they understand.
When dogs feel stressed out or threatened, their eyes will look larger than normal. If your dog is not feeling well, it might look as though it’s squinting. If your dog isn’t looking directly at you, but is looking out of the corners of its eyes so that you see a lot of the whites of the eyes (this is called “whale eyes”), he might be about to have an aggressive outburst. If your dog is feeling stressed or aggressive, its wide eyes will be accompanied by a rigid body.
If your cat looks at you and blinks at you slowly, it’s likely communicating affection. You can do this back at your cat to show your love, too. For cats, closing one’s eyes in the presence of another is a way to show trust. If your cat feels threatened, its tail will likely be upright and poofy (looking like the end of a toilet brush); its back will likely be arched, too.
Birds can be quite expressive through their eyes, feathers, and voices. If your bird’s pupils enlarge and shrink rapidly, this can be a sign that they’re excited or greatly interested, or scared or angry — context is important in telling which emotion it might be. Birds will ruffle their feathers while cleaning themselves; if their feathers remain ruffled, however, this could mean they’re unwell (in which case, take them to a vet for a checkup).
1-7. Respect your pet’s likes and dislikes.
Animal experts give us general guidelines about what to expect from animals, but as with people, most animals will have their own quirks. It’s important that you respect your pet’s individuality; don’t try to make it do things that it clearly doesn’t like. Note that this isn’t the same as letting your pet run your house or bully you. You still need to consistently stand by your rules and boundaries.
Dogs are generally known to be affectionate and to want to be close to their owners at all times. Some dogs, though (and Shiba Inus are known for this), prefer not to be petted or cuddled. If your dog seems to dislike being petted, don’t force it. Maybe it likes to have an hour of alone time in another room of the house each night. As long as it’s not chewing on your furniture or digging a hole in the carpet, let it have its alone time.
It’s not a bad idea to think of cats as weird roommates instead of animals. One minute your cat might be all over you and very affectionate, and within seconds it might jump off of you and run away, not to be seen for several hours. As long as it isn’t hurting you or your home, accept the quirk and let it be its own “person.”
1-8. See the world through your pet’s eyes.
Be empathetic when dealing with your pet. You don’t know what’s going on in its mind, so it’s best to try to read its body language and try to imagine what it must be going through so that you can treat it as well as possible.
A rescue dog may have been abused by its previous owner. It may have spent most of its life before meeting you living on the streets, starving and scared. There is a lot of evidence (countless rescue stories and videos online) that proves these dogs, who may lash out at first, come around to love and trust their humans, and vice versa. If your dog is behaving in ways that you dislike, calmly, gently, and consistently reinforce the rules, and they will come around.
If your pet is a small mammal (rat, gerbil, guinea pig, rabbit), don’t swoop down on them suddenly and pick them up, and then be surprised when they seem terrified. These are animals who are commonly preyed upon from above, so if you want to gain their trust and affection, it’s best not to behave like a predator.
2. Spending Quality Time Together
2-1. Play together.
If you can’t directly play with your pet, learn how your pet likes to play (or how their specific breed/species plays/acts.) and do your best to enable them to do so — whether it’s with you or merely in your presence.
This is may be easier to do with a cat or dog, as they both play in ways that are more familiar to human beings: throwing a ball around, chasing one another (playing tag), running and jumping.
Some snakes enjoy climbing. If you want to feel more of a bond with your pet snake, and you feel safe letting it out of its enclosure, consider getting it a large climbing post and allowing it to do that as you work out. That way, you can feel as though you’re being active together. If you do this regularly, it can begin to feel like a routine.
You can buy play gyms for birds. Put your bird on its play gym on your floor or table in the room with you while you work, read, exercise or watch TV, and allow the bird to play.
2-2. Have adventures together.
Take your dog on a hike somewhere it’s never been; go for a walk with your iguana or snake on your shoulder or arm (if it’s social); bring home a new toy and play with your cat. Animals get bored too; introducing fun new things into their lives now and then will make them happy. Just be smart about what you introduce: most cats wouldn’t enjoy going to a dog park, for example.
2-3. Teach your pet new things.
Many different animals enjoy learning tricks to earn rewards such as food or toys. Teach your dog or cat some new tricks, or sing a song and dance with your bird (it will likely learn to bob along with you if you bounce up and down in front of it). Set up an obstacle course for your pet rat and reward it for completing the course.
2-4. Hang out with your pet.
Literally just be in the same room with them. Let them be near you while you make dinner, watch TV, or read a book. The more you’re around one another, the better chances you have of becoming friends.
Many snake owners say that their snakes enjoy wrapping around their arms or necks while they sit on the couch or go for walks (or even drive). Of course, if you’re not sure whether your snake is cuddling you or trying to strangle you, it’s probably better not to wear it around your neck.
2-5. Show affection to your pet.
If your pet is receptive to physical affection, provide it. Cuddle up on the couch with your cat, dog, reptile, bird, etc.
2-6. Talk to your pet.
Sure, they probably won’t understand most of what you say, but if you’re talking to them in a calm and positive way, it will help them get used to your presence and your voice. When you come home, be sure to say hello to your pet. This will help it associate you coming in the door with saying “hello.”
2-7. Don’t leave your pet alone for long periods of time.
How long your pet can go without you will depend on the animal. Cats and reptiles can go longer without their humans than dogs can, for example.
If you know you’ll be away for 24 hours and you have a dog at home, arrange for someone to come and stay with your dog while you're gone. If you have a cat, it’s probably enough to leave some extra food and water out and, if your cat is particularly anxious, you might have someone the cat knows come in and spend an hour or two with them.
If you are going away on vacation and cannot bring your pet, ensure that you find them appropriate and reputable care before you go.
If you are regularly away from home for more than 5 hours a day, you might consider dropping your dog off at doggy daycare or seeing if you can bring him/her to work with you.
2-8. Regularly acknowledge your pet’s presence.
A pet is only part of your life, but for them, you are their whole life. That’s why it’s important to acknowledge your pet when you’re in the same room. Don’t ignore them. Act happy to see them. How you show your pleasure in seeing them will depend on what type of pet it is.
A dog will generally enjoy a happy “Hello” and a pat when you walk past it.
A cat might only want a hello, or it might want you to bend down and give it a little pat too.
A guinea pig might squeak happily when you come near. If it enjoys being petted, say “Hello” and give it a little pet.
A reptile that likes to be touched will be happy for the attention; but one that does not like to be touched, might not really care what you do … still, if you want to build a friendship with this animal, you’ll want to give it some sort of attention, even if it’s just walking up to its enclosure and saying “Hello.”
3. Taking Care of Your Pet
3-1. Make sure you can afford a pet before getting one.
Animals are living, long-term responsibilities; it is imperative that you ensure you can afford to feed and care for them. Make a monthly budget that includes food, supplies, and regular vet visits, and add a contingency fund for possible vet visits should your animal become ill. You might also consider buying pet insurance.
Some things a dog needs: food, poop bags (if you live somewhere that requires you to pick up its waste), treats, a kennel, a good-quality leash and halter, a collar, an ID tag, a license (depending on where you live, you will likely need to license your dog with the city), toys, food and water bowls, and possibly a raincoat and booties (depending on the dog and where you live).
Things cats need: litter boxes, litter, toys, food, food and water bowls, beds, carrying cases should they need to go to the vet, scratch posts, and treats.
Things small mammals need: cages, cage filler, things to keep them busy in those cages (a wheel, some tubes and other toys), food and water supplies, and possibly a salt lick.
3-2. Provide your pet with fresh food and water.
Do this every day, at consistent times throughout the day (eg., morning and night). The key with all animals is to be consistent, as a lack of order in their lives can make them feel insecure and anxious, if not afraid.
How often you feed your pets will depend upon what sort of animal they are: cats and dogs need to be fed at least twice a day; young and small adult lizards need to be fed several times a day, while other lizards and snakes only need to eat every other day or so.
3-3. Buy high-quality food.
Find out what the best-quality food for your type of animal is, and buy it. For cats and dogs, seek out foods that contain healthy, natural ingredients and as few preservatives as possible; for reptiles you’ll likely feed them whole foods such as plants, fish, or mice (depending on whether your pet is an omnivorous or carnivorous reptile).
Generally you can find a good selection of high-quality food at your local pet store or vet. If you have any doubts about the best diet for your pet, read up on the species or ask your vet.
3-4. Keep your pet’s living space clean.
Clean your dog’s kennel, your cat’s litter box, your rabbit’s cage, your snake’s enclosure etc. regularly. Avoid cleaning these spaces with harsh chemicals, as they can irritate your pet’s skin (or worse).
It’s also important to keep your house — particularly your floors — clean. Don’t leave dangerous things lying around your house that might hurt your pet. Things like chocolate and grapes on the floor can be fatal for your dog; wires might be enticing for chewing, and could electrocute your pet.
3-5. Ensure that your pet is well-groomed.
Many pets groom themselves, but sometimes they might need some help. Dogs and cats can benefit from being brushed out regularly, particularly if they have long fur that’s prone to matting. If you have an outdoor pet and ticks are common in your area, regularly check for ticks and remove them.
While it’s common to bathe a dog, bathing a cat isn’t actually necessary; in fact, it can do more harm than good, as it removes the natural oils on your cat’s coat. If your cat is particularly filthy or seems to be having trouble reaching certain parts of its body, it’s okay to help it along with a bath.
If you do bathe your pet, ensure that you use something that is designed specifically for that animal. Never use human shampoo and conditioner for your dog or cat, or any other animal, as it can irritate their skin.
3-6. Take your pet for regular vet checkups.
Animals are quite good at hiding their illnesses; appearing healthy helps them survive in the wild, as sick animals are targets for predators. In addition, animals communicate differently than we do: instead of saying “I’m sick” your cat might stop eating, or it might start going to the bathroom outside of its litter box. For these reasons, it’s best practice to schedule regular checkups for your pet at least once per year, even if it seems totally healthy.
Your pet will benefit from regular checkups more often than once a year as it moves into its senior years. Aim for at least twice a year when your pet is a senior.
3-7. Socialize your pets.
Exactly how and how often you socialize your pet will depend upon what animal you have.
Dogs can be socialized every day with both people and other dogs; for a healthy dog, the opportunity to play with dog friends should be a source of happiness and relaxation. If your dog has anxiety about other dogs, however, you’ll need to be more careful about how you socialize him/her.
Cats are more likely to enjoy being socialized with people than other cats, as they can be quite territorial. That said, if your cat seems to enjoy the company of other cats, there’s not reason not to have kitty dates with friends. Generally this will apply more to indoor cats than outdoor ones.
Some small mammals and birds can benefit from the company of a friend — particularly if you’re away from home a lot.
3-8. Ensure that your pet gets enough exercise.
How often your pet needs exercise, and what sort of exercise it needs, will depend on the animal. There will even be variations within the same animals, depending on their type, general fitness, and age. If your pet doesn’t get enough exercise, it will be more likely to misbehave or be aggressive.
Walk and play with your dog every day. How long and strenuous your exercise with your dog is will depend on the breed: a husky will need much more exercise than a pug.
Play with your cat every day. Cats are generally quite active and good at making their own fun, but if you want to bond with your cat, you’ll need to become part of their daily activities. Pull a string around the house and let them chase it, or wave a peacock feather around and let them try to catch it.
3-9. Create a safe space for your pet.
Your pet can go to its safe place when it feels scared or upset. Do not send your pet to this space when you’re upset with it, as doing so will make it a place of punishment rather than a safe place where your pet can go relax.
For a dog, a safe space could be a large kennel with some warm blankets and a toy inside, or a nice dog bed in the corner of the room.
For a cat, this might be a bed at the top of a scratch post, or a little covered soft cat house.
For a fish, a reptile, or a small mammal, this might be a tunnel-like or otherwise enclosed structure into which they can run and hide if they feel afraid.
Tips
If you have a dog, consider using a whistle to call it to you rather than words. This way, the sound is always the same and never cross or frightened or worried, which could be off-putting to the dog and prevent it from coming to you. Reward your dog when it returns; its ability to come quickly when called could save your dog’s life.
Sing to your pet. Change the words to your favorite songs and sing in a very gentle voice.
Find the way your pet likes to be petted/touched. If it's a un-touchable animal like a fish, though, don't touch it and sing instead. Fish like that a lot.
Warnings
While treats are a great tool for training your pets, be careful not to give them too many treats, as you do not want them to gain weight and become unhealthy. Also ensure that you buy high-quality, healthy treats (not the equivalent of a chocolate bar for your pet).
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Establishing Confidence\\n1-1. Be calm.\\nThis one is pretty self-explanatory. Breathe regularly, make your movements smooth and slow (though not so slow that they look abnormal, as this will also freak some animals out), and speak in a calm, normal voice. Avoid being loud.\\nJust think how you would feel if someone seemed to be nervous around you, was fidgeting a lot and speaking loudly and nervously, and making quick, jerky movements. This would make most people feel at least a little nervous — it’s the same for animals.\\nTry to always be calm when dealing with your pets, no matter what they’ve done. If you’re very upset at them, take a moment to calm yourself down before dealing with them. You want them to respect you, not fear you.\\n1-2. Be patient.\\nRealize that it could take some time to build a lasting bond with your pet. Some animals, like puppies and kittens, might naturally be more easy around you than smaller mammals and reptiles, who might be more prone to defensive behavior.\\nIf your pet doesn’t warm up to you right away, give it time. With consistent, kind, respectful behavior, and the appropriate use of treats, you should be able to win it over.\\n1-3. Be consistent.\\nBe consistent in everything you do, from feeding to training, and everything in between. Pets are like children in that they need consistency and structure in order to feel safe and secure.\\nWhen they know what they can expect from you, your pets are more likely to feel comfortable around you (unless what they can expect from you is unpredictable, aggressive behavior … which they won’t like).\\n1-4. Be the boss.\\nSet rules and boundaries, and stick to them. Set aside time to practice these rules and boundaries with your pet each day. If your pet breaks a rule, use body language and calm but firm words to let them know that what they have done is not okay. Once you’ve established that you’re the boss, it’s okay to be more soft and loving with them, while still consistently enforcing the rules.\\nWith dogs they call this being the “alpha dog.” Dogs are happiest when they have confidence that you are their leader and can make decisions for them. They can then have freedom off lead and with people, other animals and in strange situations because they look to you for guidance and you pass on confidence. It’s okay for you to feel that you are “friends” with your dog, but your dog needs to know that you are his leader.\\nCats can be less easy to control, as they often like being the alpha. If your cat bullies you (often attacking you or ignoring your rules), a good way to train it is to simply ignore it when it does bad things, and praise it when it does things that you approve of. Cats might not like being controlled, but they like being ignored even less.\\nFood is a good way to establish that you’re the boss. Most animals will notice that you’re the one that feeds them every day, which will make them look forward to seeing you. If you give them treats when they do something good, they’ll want to make you happy.\\n1-5. Never use violent actions or language to communicate your displeasure with your pet.\\nIf your pet does something you disapprove of, calmly and firmly let them know it’s not okay without physically hurting them or screaming at them. Hurting them will make them more likely to attack you, not obey you.\\n1-6. Understand your pet’s body language.\\nBody language is vastly different depending on what sort of animal you have chosen for your pet. If you’re unsure of your pet’s body language, consider buying a book or reading some websites devoted to your specific animal. Understanding your pet’s body language will help you to be a better communicator, as you can even mimic some of their stances, expressions and sounds to send your message in a way they understand.\\nWhen dogs feel stressed out or threatened, their eyes will look larger than normal. If your dog is not feeling well, it might look as though it’s squinting. If your dog isn’t looking directly at you, but is looking out of the corners of its eyes so that you see a lot of the whites of the eyes (this is called “whale eyes”), he might be about to have an aggressive outburst. If your dog is feeling stressed or aggressive, its wide eyes will be accompanied by a rigid body.\\nIf your cat looks at you and blinks at you slowly, it’s likely communicating affection. You can do this back at your cat to show your love, too. For cats, closing one’s eyes in the presence of another is a way to show trust. If your cat feels threatened, its tail will likely be upright and poofy (looking like the end of a toilet brush); its back will likely be arched, too.\\nBirds can be quite expressive through their eyes, feathers, and voices. If your bird’s pupils enlarge and shrink rapidly, this can be a sign that they’re excited or greatly interested, or scared or angry — context is important in telling which emotion it might be. Birds will ruffle their feathers while cleaning themselves; if their feathers remain ruffled, however, this could mean they’re unwell (in which case, take them to a vet for a checkup).\\n1-7. Respect your pet’s likes and dislikes.\\nAnimal experts give us general guidelines about what to expect from animals, but as with people, most animals will have their own quirks. It’s important that you respect your pet’s individuality; don’t try to make it do things that it clearly doesn’t like. Note that this isn’t the same as letting your pet run your house or bully you. You still need to consistently stand by your rules and boundaries.\\nDogs are generally known to be affectionate and to want to be close to their owners at all times. Some dogs, though (and Shiba Inus are known for this), prefer not to be petted or cuddled. If your dog seems to dislike being petted, don’t force it. Maybe it likes to have an hour of alone time in another room of the house each night. As long as it’s not chewing on your furniture or digging a hole in the carpet, let it have its alone time.\\nIt’s not a bad idea to think of cats as weird roommates instead of animals. One minute your cat might be all over you and very affectionate, and within seconds it might jump off of you and run away, not to be seen for several hours. As long as it isn’t hurting you or your home, accept the quirk and let it be its own “person.”\\n1-8. See the world through your pet’s eyes.\\nBe empathetic when dealing with your pet. You don’t know what’s going on in its mind, so it’s best to try to read its body language and try to imagine what it must be going through so that you can treat it as well as possible.\\nA rescue dog may have been abused by its previous owner. It may have spent most of its life before meeting you living on the streets, starving and scared. There is a lot of evidence (countless rescue stories and videos online) that proves these dogs, who may lash out at first, come around to love and trust their humans, and vice versa. If your dog is behaving in ways that you dislike, calmly, gently, and consistently reinforce the rules, and they will come around.\\nIf your pet is a small mammal (rat, gerbil, guinea pig, rabbit), don’t swoop down on them suddenly and pick them up, and then be surprised when they seem terrified. These are animals who are commonly preyed upon from above, so if you want to gain their trust and affection, it’s best not to behave like a predator.\\n2. Spending Quality Time Together\\n2-1. Play together.\\nIf you can’t directly play with your pet, learn how your pet likes to play (or how their specific breed/species plays/acts.) and do your best to enable them to do so — whether it’s with you or merely in your presence.\\nThis is may be easier to do with a cat or dog, as they both play in ways that are more familiar to human beings: throwing a ball around, chasing one another (playing tag), running and jumping.\\nSome snakes enjoy climbing. If you want to feel more of a bond with your pet snake, and you feel safe letting it out of its enclosure, consider getting it a large climbing post and allowing it to do that as you work out. That way, you can feel as though you’re being active together. If you do this regularly, it can begin to feel like a routine.\\nYou can buy play gyms for birds. Put your bird on its play gym on your floor or table in the room with you while you work, read, exercise or watch TV, and allow the bird to play.\\n2-2. Have adventures together.\\nTake your dog on a hike somewhere it’s never been; go for a walk with your iguana or snake on your shoulder or arm (if it’s social); bring home a new toy and play with your cat. Animals get bored too; introducing fun new things into their lives now and then will make them happy. Just be smart about what you introduce: most cats wouldn’t enjoy going to a dog park, for example.\\n2-3. Teach your pet new things.\\nMany different animals enjoy learning tricks to earn rewards such as food or toys. Teach your dog or cat some new tricks, or sing a song and dance with your bird (it will likely learn to bob along with you if you bounce up and down in front of it). Set up an obstacle course for your pet rat and reward it for completing the course.\\n2-4. Hang out with your pet.\\nLiterally just be in the same room with them. Let them be near you while you make dinner, watch TV, or read a book. The more you’re around one another, the better chances you have of becoming friends.\\nMany snake owners say that their snakes enjoy wrapping around their arms or necks while they sit on the couch or go for walks (or even drive). Of course, if you’re not sure whether your snake is cuddling you or trying to strangle you, it’s probably better not to wear it around your neck.\\n2-5. Show affection to your pet.\\nIf your pet is receptive to physical affection, provide it. Cuddle up on the couch with your cat, dog, reptile, bird, etc.\\n2-6. Talk to your pet.\\nSure, they probably won’t understand most of what you say, but if you’re talking to them in a calm and positive way, it will help them get used to your presence and your voice. When you come home, be sure to say hello to your pet. This will help it associate you coming in the door with saying “hello.”\\n2-7. Don’t leave your pet alone for long periods of time.\\nHow long your pet can go without you will depend on the animal. Cats and reptiles can go longer without their humans than dogs can, for example.\\nIf you know you’ll be away for 24 hours and you have a dog at home, arrange for someone to come and stay with your dog while you're gone. If you have a cat, it’s probably enough to leave some extra food and water out and, if your cat is particularly anxious, you might have someone the cat knows come in and spend an hour or two with them.\\nIf you are going away on vacation and cannot bring your pet, ensure that you find them appropriate and reputable care before you go.\\nIf you are regularly away from home for more than 5 hours a day, you might consider dropping your dog off at doggy daycare or seeing if you can bring him/her to work with you.\\n2-8. Regularly acknowledge your pet’s presence.\\nA pet is only part of your life, but for them, you are their whole life. That’s why it’s important to acknowledge your pet when you’re in the same room. Don’t ignore them. Act happy to see them. How you show your pleasure in seeing them will depend on what type of pet it is.\\nA dog will generally enjoy a happy “Hello” and a pat when you walk past it.\\nA cat might only want a hello, or it might want you to bend down and give it a little pat too.\\nA guinea pig might squeak happily when you come near. If it enjoys being petted, say “Hello” and give it a little pet.\\nA reptile that likes to be touched will be happy for the attention; but one that does not like to be touched, might not really care what you do … still, if you want to build a friendship with this animal, you’ll want to give it some sort of attention, even if it’s just walking up to its enclosure and saying “Hello.”\\n3. Taking Care of Your Pet\\n3-1. Make sure you can afford a pet before getting one.\\nAnimals are living, long-term responsibilities; it is imperative that you ensure you can afford to feed and care for them. Make a monthly budget that includes food, supplies, and regular vet visits, and add a contingency fund for possible vet visits should your animal become ill. You might also consider buying pet insurance.\\nSome things a dog needs: food, poop bags (if you live somewhere that requires you to pick up its waste), treats, a kennel, a good-quality leash and halter, a collar, an ID tag, a license (depending on where you live, you will likely need to license your dog with the city), toys, food and water bowls, and possibly a raincoat and booties (depending on the dog and where you live).\\nThings cats need: litter boxes, litter, toys, food, food and water bowls, beds, carrying cases should they need to go to the vet, scratch posts, and treats.\\nThings small mammals need: cages, cage filler, things to keep them busy in those cages (a wheel, some tubes and other toys), food and water supplies, and possibly a salt lick.\\n3-2. Provide your pet with fresh food and water.\\nDo this every day, at consistent times throughout the day (eg., morning and night). The key with all animals is to be consistent, as a lack of order in their lives can make them feel insecure and anxious, if not afraid.\\nHow often you feed your pets will depend upon what sort of animal they are: cats and dogs need to be fed at least twice a day; young and small adult lizards need to be fed several times a day, while other lizards and snakes only need to eat every other day or so.\\n3-3. Buy high-quality food.\\nFind out what the best-quality food for your type of animal is, and buy it. For cats and dogs, seek out foods that contain healthy, natural ingredients and as few preservatives as possible; for reptiles you’ll likely feed them whole foods such as plants, fish, or mice (depending on whether your pet is an omnivorous or carnivorous reptile).\\nGenerally you can find a good selection of high-quality food at your local pet store or vet. If you have any doubts about the best diet for your pet, read up on the species or ask your vet.\\n3-4. Keep your pet’s living space clean.\\nClean your dog’s kennel, your cat’s litter box, your rabbit’s cage, your snake’s enclosure etc. regularly. Avoid cleaning these spaces with harsh chemicals, as they can irritate your pet’s skin (or worse).\\nIt’s also important to keep your house — particularly your floors — clean. Don’t leave dangerous things lying around your house that might hurt your pet. Things like chocolate and grapes on the floor can be fatal for your dog; wires might be enticing for chewing, and could electrocute your pet.\\n3-5. Ensure that your pet is well-groomed.\\nMany pets groom themselves, but sometimes they might need some help. Dogs and cats can benefit from being brushed out regularly, particularly if they have long fur that’s prone to matting. If you have an outdoor pet and ticks are common in your area, regularly check for ticks and remove them.\\nWhile it’s common to bathe a dog, bathing a cat isn’t actually necessary; in fact, it can do more harm than good, as it removes the natural oils on your cat’s coat. If your cat is particularly filthy or seems to be having trouble reaching certain parts of its body, it’s okay to help it along with a bath.\\nIf you do bathe your pet, ensure that you use something that is designed specifically for that animal. Never use human shampoo and conditioner for your dog or cat, or any other animal, as it can irritate their skin.\\n3-6. Take your pet for regular vet checkups.\\nAnimals are quite good at hiding their illnesses; appearing healthy helps them survive in the wild, as sick animals are targets for predators. In addition, animals communicate differently than we do: instead of saying “I’m sick” your cat might stop eating, or it might start going to the bathroom outside of its litter box. For these reasons, it’s best practice to schedule regular checkups for your pet at least once per year, even if it seems totally healthy.\\nYour pet will benefit from regular checkups more often than once a year as it moves into its senior years. Aim for at least twice a year when your pet is a senior.\\n3-7. Socialize your pets.\\nExactly how and how often you socialize your pet will depend upon what animal you have.\\nDogs can be socialized every day with both people and other dogs; for a healthy dog, the opportunity to play with dog friends should be a source of happiness and relaxation. If your dog has anxiety about other dogs, however, you’ll need to be more careful about how you socialize him/her.\\nCats are more likely to enjoy being socialized with people than other cats, as they can be quite territorial. That said, if your cat seems to enjoy the company of other cats, there’s not reason not to have kitty dates with friends. Generally this will apply more to indoor cats than outdoor ones.\\nSome small mammals and birds can benefit from the company of a friend — particularly if you’re away from home a lot.\\n3-8. Ensure that your pet gets enough exercise.\\nHow often your pet needs exercise, and what sort of exercise it needs, will depend on the animal. There will even be variations within the same animals, depending on their type, general fitness, and age. If your pet doesn’t get enough exercise, it will be more likely to misbehave or be aggressive.\\nWalk and play with your dog every day. How long and strenuous your exercise with your dog is will depend on the breed: a husky will need much more exercise than a pug.\\nPlay with your cat every day. Cats are generally quite active and good at making their own fun, but if you want to bond with your cat, you’ll need to become part of their daily activities. Pull a string around the house and let them chase it, or wave a peacock feather around and let them try to catch it.\\n3-9. Create a safe space for your pet.\\nYour pet can go to its safe place when it feels scared or upset. Do not send your pet to this space when you’re upset with it, as doing so will make it a place of punishment rather than a safe place where your pet can go relax.\\nFor a dog, a safe space could be a large kennel with some warm blankets and a toy inside, or a nice dog bed in the corner of the room.\\nFor a cat, this might be a bed at the top of a scratch post, or a little covered soft cat house.\\nFor a fish, a reptile, or a small mammal, this might be a tunnel-like or otherwise enclosed structure into which they can run and hide if they feel afraid.\\nTips\\nIf you have a dog, consider using a whistle to call it to you rather than words. This way, the sound is always the same and never cross or frightened or worried, which could be off-putting to the dog and prevent it from coming to you. Reward your dog when it returns; its ability to come quickly when called could save your dog’s life.\\nSing to your pet. Change the words to your favorite songs and sing in a very gentle voice.\\nFind the way your pet likes to be petted/touched. If it's a un-touchable animal like a fish, though, don't touch it and sing instead. Fish like that a lot.\\nWarnings\\nWhile treats are a great tool for training your pets, be careful not to give them too many treats, as you do not want them to gain weight and become unhealthy. Also ensure that you buy high-quality, healthy treats (not the equivalent of a chocolate bar for your pet).\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Living with an animal is a lot like living with a human friend: it's important to set clear boundaries, treat each other with respect, acknowledge one another’s needs, and spend quality time together. Unlike living with a human friend, however, your pet depends on you for food, health, care and affection, among other things. The specific ways in which you become friends with your pet will differ depending on what sort of animal you have.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establishing Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be calm.\", \"描述\": \"This one is pretty self-explanatory. Breathe regularly, make your movements smooth and slow (though not so slow that they look abnormal, as this will also freak some animals out), and speak in a calm, normal voice. Avoid being loud.\\nJust think how you would feel if someone seemed to be nervous around you, was fidgeting a lot and speaking loudly and nervously, and making quick, jerky movements. This would make most people feel at least a little nervous — it’s the same for animals.\\nTry to always be calm when dealing with your pets, no matter what they’ve done. If you’re very upset at them, take a moment to calm yourself down before dealing with them. You want them to respect you, not fear you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Realize that it could take some time to build a lasting bond with your pet. Some animals, like puppies and kittens, might naturally be more easy around you than smaller mammals and reptiles, who might be more prone to defensive behavior.\\nIf your pet doesn’t warm up to you right away, give it time. With consistent, kind, respectful behavior, and the appropriate use of treats, you should be able to win it over.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be consistent.\", \"描述\": \"Be consistent in everything you do, from feeding to training, and everything in between. Pets are like children in that they need consistency and structure in order to feel safe and secure.\\nWhen they know what they can expect from you, your pets are more likely to feel comfortable around you (unless what they can expect from you is unpredictable, aggressive behavior … which they won’t like).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be the boss.\", \"描述\": \"Set rules and boundaries, and stick to them. Set aside time to practice these rules and boundaries with your pet each day. If your pet breaks a rule, use body language and calm but firm words to let them know that what they have done is not okay. Once you’ve established that you’re the boss, it’s okay to be more soft and loving with them, while still consistently enforcing the rules.\\nWith dogs they call this being the “alpha dog.” Dogs are happiest when they have confidence that you are their leader and can make decisions for them. They can then have freedom off lead and with people, other animals and in strange situations because they look to you for guidance and you pass on confidence. It’s okay for you to feel that you are “friends” with your dog, but your dog needs to know that you are his leader.\\nCats can be less easy to control, as they often like being the alpha. If your cat bullies you (often attacking you or ignoring your rules), a good way to train it is to simply ignore it when it does bad things, and praise it when it does things that you approve of. Cats might not like being controlled, but they like being ignored even less.\\nFood is a good way to establish that you’re the boss. Most animals will notice that you’re the one that feeds them every day, which will make them look forward to seeing you. If you give them treats when they do something good, they’ll want to make you happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Never use violent actions or language to communicate your displeasure with your pet.\", \"描述\": \"If your pet does something you disapprove of, calmly and firmly let them know it’s not okay without physically hurting them or screaming at them. Hurting them will make them more likely to attack you, not obey you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Understand your pet’s body language.\", \"描述\": \"Body language is vastly different depending on what sort of animal you have chosen for your pet. If you’re unsure of your pet’s body language, consider buying a book or reading some websites devoted to your specific animal. Understanding your pet’s body language will help you to be a better communicator, as you can even mimic some of their stances, expressions and sounds to send your message in a way they understand.\\nWhen dogs feel stressed out or threatened, their eyes will look larger than normal. If your dog is not feeling well, it might look as though it’s squinting. If your dog isn’t looking directly at you, but is looking out of the corners of its eyes so that you see a lot of the whites of the eyes (this is called “whale eyes”), he might be about to have an aggressive outburst. If your dog is feeling stressed or aggressive, its wide eyes will be accompanied by a rigid body.\\nIf your cat looks at you and blinks at you slowly, it’s likely communicating affection. You can do this back at your cat to show your love, too. For cats, closing one’s eyes in the presence of another is a way to show trust. If your cat feels threatened, its tail will likely be upright and poofy (looking like the end of a toilet brush); its back will likely be arched, too.\\nBirds can be quite expressive through their eyes, feathers, and voices. If your bird’s pupils enlarge and shrink rapidly, this can be a sign that they’re excited or greatly interested, or scared or angry — context is important in telling which emotion it might be. Birds will ruffle their feathers while cleaning themselves; if their feathers remain ruffled, however, this could mean they’re unwell (in which case, take them to a vet for a checkup).\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Respect your pet’s likes and dislikes.\", \"描述\": \"Animal experts give us general guidelines about what to expect from animals, but as with people, most animals will have their own quirks. It’s important that you respect your pet’s individuality; don’t try to make it do things that it clearly doesn’t like. Note that this isn’t the same as letting your pet run your house or bully you. You still need to consistently stand by your rules and boundaries.\\nDogs are generally known to be affectionate and to want to be close to their owners at all times. Some dogs, though (and Shiba Inus are known for this), prefer not to be petted or cuddled. If your dog seems to dislike being petted, don’t force it. Maybe it likes to have an hour of alone time in another room of the house each night. As long as it’s not chewing on your furniture or digging a hole in the carpet, let it have its alone time.\\nIt’s not a bad idea to think of cats as weird roommates instead of animals. One minute your cat might be all over you and very affectionate, and within seconds it might jump off of you and run away, not to be seen for several hours. As long as it isn’t hurting you or your home, accept the quirk and let it be its own “person.”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"See the world through your pet’s eyes.\", \"描述\": \"Be empathetic when dealing with your pet. You don’t know what’s going on in its mind, so it’s best to try to read its body language and try to imagine what it must be going through so that you can treat it as well as possible.\\nA rescue dog may have been abused by its previous owner. It may have spent most of its life before meeting you living on the streets, starving and scared. There is a lot of evidence (countless rescue stories and videos online) that proves these dogs, who may lash out at first, come around to love and trust their humans, and vice versa. If your dog is behaving in ways that you dislike, calmly, gently, and consistently reinforce the rules, and they will come around.\\nIf your pet is a small mammal (rat, gerbil, guinea pig, rabbit), don’t swoop down on them suddenly and pick them up, and then be surprised when they seem terrified. These are animals who are commonly preyed upon from above, so if you want to gain their trust and affection, it’s best not to behave like a predator.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spending Quality Time Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play together.\", \"描述\": \"If you can’t directly play with your pet, learn how your pet likes to play (or how their specific breed/species plays/acts.) and do your best to enable them to do so — whether it’s with you or merely in your presence.\\nThis is may be easier to do with a cat or dog, as they both play in ways that are more familiar to human beings: throwing a ball around, chasing one another (playing tag), running and jumping.\\nSome snakes enjoy climbing. If you want to feel more of a bond with your pet snake, and you feel safe letting it out of its enclosure, consider getting it a large climbing post and allowing it to do that as you work out. That way, you can feel as though you’re being active together. If you do this regularly, it can begin to feel like a routine.\\nYou can buy play gyms for birds. Put your bird on its play gym on your floor or table in the room with you while you work, read, exercise or watch TV, and allow the bird to play.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have adventures together.\", \"描述\": \"Take your dog on a hike somewhere it’s never been; go for a walk with your iguana or snake on your shoulder or arm (if it’s social); bring home a new toy and play with your cat. Animals get bored too; introducing fun new things into their lives now and then will make them happy. Just be smart about what you introduce: most cats wouldn’t enjoy going to a dog park, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Teach your pet new things.\", \"描述\": \"Many different animals enjoy learning tricks to earn rewards such as food or toys. Teach your dog or cat some new tricks, or sing a song and dance with your bird (it will likely learn to bob along with you if you bounce up and down in front of it). Set up an obstacle course for your pet rat and reward it for completing the course.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hang out with your pet.\", \"描述\": \"Literally just be in the same room with them. Let them be near you while you make dinner, watch TV, or read a book. The more you’re around one another, the better chances you have of becoming friends.\\nMany snake owners say that their snakes enjoy wrapping around their arms or necks while they sit on the couch or go for walks (or even drive). Of course, if you’re not sure whether your snake is cuddling you or trying to strangle you, it’s probably better not to wear it around your neck.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show affection to your pet.\", \"描述\": \"If your pet is receptive to physical affection, provide it. Cuddle up on the couch with your cat, dog, reptile, bird, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Talk to your pet.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, they probably won’t understand most of what you say, but if you’re talking to them in a calm and positive way, it will help them get used to your presence and your voice. When you come home, be sure to say hello to your pet. This will help it associate you coming in the door with saying “hello.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t leave your pet alone for long periods of time.\", \"描述\": \"How long your pet can go without you will depend on the animal. Cats and reptiles can go longer without their humans than dogs can, for example.\\nIf you know you’ll be away for 24 hours and you have a dog at home, arrange for someone to come and stay with your dog while you're gone. If you have a cat, it’s probably enough to leave some extra food and water out and, if your cat is particularly anxious, you might have someone the cat knows come in and spend an hour or two with them.\\nIf you are going away on vacation and cannot bring your pet, ensure that you find them appropriate and reputable care before you go.\\nIf you are regularly away from home for more than 5 hours a day, you might consider dropping your dog off at doggy daycare or seeing if you can bring him/her to work with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Regularly acknowledge your pet’s presence.\", \"描述\": \"A pet is only part of your life, but for them, you are their whole life. That’s why it’s important to acknowledge your pet when you’re in the same room. Don’t ignore them. Act happy to see them. How you show your pleasure in seeing them will depend on what type of pet it is.\\nA dog will generally enjoy a happy “Hello” and a pat when you walk past it.\\nA cat might only want a hello, or it might want you to bend down and give it a little pat too.\\nA guinea pig might squeak happily when you come near. If it enjoys being petted, say “Hello” and give it a little pet.\\nA reptile that likes to be touched will be happy for the attention; but one that does not like to be touched, might not really care what you do … still, if you want to build a friendship with this animal, you’ll want to give it some sort of attention, even if it’s just walking up to its enclosure and saying “Hello.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Your Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you can afford a pet before getting one.\", \"描述\": \"Animals are living, long-term responsibilities; it is imperative that you ensure you can afford to feed and care for them. Make a monthly budget that includes food, supplies, and regular vet visits, and add a contingency fund for possible vet visits should your animal become ill. You might also consider buying pet insurance.\\nSome things a dog needs: food, poop bags (if you live somewhere that requires you to pick up its waste), treats, a kennel, a good-quality leash and halter, a collar, an ID tag, a license (depending on where you live, you will likely need to license your dog with the city), toys, food and water bowls, and possibly a raincoat and booties (depending on the dog and where you live).\\nThings cats need: litter boxes, litter, toys, food, food and water bowls, beds, carrying cases should they need to go to the vet, scratch posts, and treats.\\nThings small mammals need: cages, cage filler, things to keep them busy in those cages (a wheel, some tubes and other toys), food and water supplies, and possibly a salt lick.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide your pet with fresh food and water.\", \"描述\": \"Do this every day, at consistent times throughout the day (eg., morning and night). The key with all animals is to be consistent, as a lack of order in their lives can make them feel insecure and anxious, if not afraid.\\nHow often you feed your pets will depend upon what sort of animal they are: cats and dogs need to be fed at least twice a day; young and small adult lizards need to be fed several times a day, while other lizards and snakes only need to eat every other day or so.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy high-quality food.\", \"描述\": \"Find out what the best-quality food for your type of animal is, and buy it. For cats and dogs, seek out foods that contain healthy, natural ingredients and as few preservatives as possible; for reptiles you’ll likely feed them whole foods such as plants, fish, or mice (depending on whether your pet is an omnivorous or carnivorous reptile).\\nGenerally you can find a good selection of high-quality food at your local pet store or vet. If you have any doubts about the best diet for your pet, read up on the species or ask your vet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your pet’s living space clean.\", \"描述\": \"Clean your dog’s kennel, your cat’s litter box, your rabbit’s cage, your snake’s enclosure etc. regularly. Avoid cleaning these spaces with harsh chemicals, as they can irritate your pet’s skin (or worse).\\nIt’s also important to keep your house — particularly your floors — clean. Don’t leave dangerous things lying around your house that might hurt your pet. Things like chocolate and grapes on the floor can be fatal for your dog; wires might be enticing for chewing, and could electrocute your pet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ensure that your pet is well-groomed.\", \"描述\": \"Many pets groom themselves, but sometimes they might need some help. Dogs and cats can benefit from being brushed out regularly, particularly if they have long fur that’s prone to matting. If you have an outdoor pet and ticks are common in your area, regularly check for ticks and remove them.\\nWhile it’s common to bathe a dog, bathing a cat isn’t actually necessary; in fact, it can do more harm than good, as it removes the natural oils on your cat’s coat. If your cat is particularly filthy or seems to be having trouble reaching certain parts of its body, it’s okay to help it along with a bath.\\nIf you do bathe your pet, ensure that you use something that is designed specifically for that animal. Never use human shampoo and conditioner for your dog or cat, or any other animal, as it can irritate their skin.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take your pet for regular vet checkups.\", \"描述\": \"Animals are quite good at hiding their illnesses; appearing healthy helps them survive in the wild, as sick animals are targets for predators. In addition, animals communicate differently than we do: instead of saying “I’m sick” your cat might stop eating, or it might start going to the bathroom outside of its litter box. For these reasons, it’s best practice to schedule regular checkups for your pet at least once per year, even if it seems totally healthy.\\nYour pet will benefit from regular checkups more often than once a year as it moves into its senior years. Aim for at least twice a year when your pet is a senior.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Socialize your pets.\", \"描述\": \"Exactly how and how often you socialize your pet will depend upon what animal you have.\\nDogs can be socialized every day with both people and other dogs; for a healthy dog, the opportunity to play with dog friends should be a source of happiness and relaxation. If your dog has anxiety about other dogs, however, you’ll need to be more careful about how you socialize him/her.\\nCats are more likely to enjoy being socialized with people than other cats, as they can be quite territorial. That said, if your cat seems to enjoy the company of other cats, there’s not reason not to have kitty dates with friends. Generally this will apply more to indoor cats than outdoor ones.\\nSome small mammals and birds can benefit from the company of a friend — particularly if you’re away from home a lot.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ensure that your pet gets enough exercise.\", \"描述\": \"How often your pet needs exercise, and what sort of exercise it needs, will depend on the animal. There will even be variations within the same animals, depending on their type, general fitness, and age. If your pet doesn’t get enough exercise, it will be more likely to misbehave or be aggressive.\\nWalk and play with your dog every day. How long and strenuous your exercise with your dog is will depend on the breed: a husky will need much more exercise than a pug.\\nPlay with your cat every day. Cats are generally quite active and good at making their own fun, but if you want to bond with your cat, you’ll need to become part of their daily activities. Pull a string around the house and let them chase it, or wave a peacock feather around and let them try to catch it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Create a safe space for your pet.\", \"描述\": \"Your pet can go to its safe place when it feels scared or upset. Do not send your pet to this space when you’re upset with it, as doing so will make it a place of punishment rather than a safe place where your pet can go relax.\\nFor a dog, a safe space could be a large kennel with some warm blankets and a toy inside, or a nice dog bed in the corner of the room.\\nFor a cat, this might be a bed at the top of a scratch post, or a little covered soft cat house.\\nFor a fish, a reptile, or a small mammal, this might be a tunnel-like or otherwise enclosed structure into which they can run and hide if they feel afraid.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have a dog, consider using a whistle to call it to you rather than words. This way, the sound is always the same and never cross or frightened or worried, which could be off-putting to the dog and prevent it from coming to you. Reward your dog when it returns; its ability to come quickly when called could save your dog’s life.\\n\", \"Sing to your pet. Change the words to your favorite songs and sing in a very gentle voice.\\n\", \"Find the way your pet likes to be petted/touched. If it's a un-touchable animal like a fish, though, don't touch it and sing instead. Fish like that a lot.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"While treats are a great tool for training your pets, be careful not to give them too many treats, as you do not want them to gain weight and become unhealthy. Also ensure that you buy high-quality, healthy treats (not the equivalent of a chocolate bar for your pet).\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,740 | How to Be Friends with Your Younger Sister | 1. Being a Role Model
1-1. Demonstrate integrity.
Your younger sister learns a lot about the world through her experiences with you. Show her the right way to interact with others as you spend time together.
Show your self-awareness when making decisions your younger sister is involved with. Let her know how your values, principles and ethics affect your choices.
Treat her and others with fairness.
Be honest with her and with others in her company.
1-2. Focus on your relationship together.
In order to be friends with your younger sister, she needs to know that she’s important to you.
Pay her direct attention and let her know that you are interested in what she has to say.
Be generous with your time when she needs you. Let her see you make an effort to have time for her.
Prioritize her needs. Nothing lets someone know that they matter faster than seeing someone take their needs seriously. By making them as important to you as they are to her, you demonstrate how much you value your relationship.
1-3. Be accessible.
Your younger sister may have a lot of questions about her life or yours, or she may just be looking for someone to talk to.
Let her know that she can come to you when she wants to talk.
Avoid being critical of what your sister brings to conversations. Make her feel comfortable approaching you with anything.
Listen to her actively and participate in the conversation.
1-4. Be confident and genuine.
Your sister will look up to you more if you see yourself as someone to look up to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make mistakes.
Show your sister that you believe in yourself and she will believe in you too.
Don’t change who you are to fit in with others, instead be yourself and let her know that it’s good to accept who you are.
Own up to mistakes and demonstrate that they don’t define you. By learning from your mistakes you demonstrate confidence while teaching her an important life lesson.
1-5. Take good care of her.
You can make sure your sister knows how much she means to you by taking good care of her.
If you are babysitting your sister, see that as an opportunity to spend quality time together, but remember that her safety is your responsibility.
Explain why things are important for her safety or well-being as you do them.
Keeping your sister safe and secure may not always make her happy, but it demonstrates your care and concern for her, which will far outlast any temporary frustration.
2. Being Inclusive and Interested
2-1. Let your sister play a role in the things that matter to you.
Sharing important parts of your life is a great way to bring you and your sister closer.
Feeling left out can make your sister less apt to want to spend time with you. Make sure she knows that she is welcome to participate in what you’re doing.
Explain what you are doing and tell her why it’s important to you.
Make sure your sister understands the importance of what you’re sharing and how important it is to you. Also let her know that it’s important to you that she participates.
2-2. Pay attention to what matters to her.
It’s important not only to share what’s important to you, but to share in what matters to her.
Acknowledge that you and your sister are both individuals and that it’s okay to not like all of the same things.
Demonstrate sincere interest in learning about and understanding her interests.
Don’t make fun of her interests if you don’t share them. It may not be your favorite thing, but it matters to her.
2-3. Set boundaries and explain them.
You can’t always be welcoming and care free, so there’s bound to be a time when you and your sister don’t get along.
Know when to walk away. Sometimes it’s better just to split up and spend a little time alone to cool off.
Explain your frustrations as patiently as you can. Your sister may not understand why you’re annoyed or frustrated. By explaining it to her, you can make sure she knows you’re upset at what she’s done, not who she is.
Set some places or times as off limits, but explain why you need to do so. Maybe you need time to get your homework done or talk to someone important on the phone. Make sure your sister knows why you need the alone time and that it isn’t because of her.
2-4. Make time for her.
Sometimes getting closer to your younger sister can be as easy as just setting aside some time to spend together.
Let her know that spending time with her is important to you and that you look forward to it.
Listen to what she has to say and play an active role in the conversation so she knows she has your full interest.
3. Getting Past Sibling Rivalry
3-1. Avoid competition.
Sibling rivalry can arise when siblings feel like they have to compete for attention or become jealous of one another.
Remember that jealousy is completely natural and can arise from time to time.
Make it clear to your sister that you don’t need to compete with one another for your parent’s time or attention.
Praise her accomplishments and help bring attention to her when it’s appropriate so you can make sure she knows that you aren’t competing for your parent’s affection but rather sharing it.
3-2. Avoid comparisons.
You and your sister are at different developmental stages of your lives and have different interests. Teach her not to judge her successes by comparison to yours.
Discuss your differences in a positive way, emphasizing that you each have your own strengths.
Praise her for her accomplishments without mentioning your own as a yard stick or measure of comparison. You are different people and don’t need to excel at the same things.
3-3. Defuse jealousy.
Jealousy is bound to rear its head from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a big deal.
Downplay the importance of jealousy. If your sister expresses her jealousy of something you can do or have, explain that jealousy is normal and that there’s nothing wrong with it.
Re-emphasize that you are individuals with your own strengths. If she feels jealous of something you are capable of, discuss some things she is capable of that you wish you could be better at.
3-4. Settle your arguments fairly.
No matter how hard you try, arguments are bound to arise from time to time. Arguments are normal and natural for siblings, just remember that you are friends.
Treat her with respect even when you’re angry. Remember you won’t be fighting forever.
Express what you are upset about clearly without being accusatory. Acknowledge her grievances and concerns.
Listen to her side of things and try to appreciate where she’s coming from.
Teach her how to handle disagreements respectfully and calmly by doing so yourself.
3-5. Emphasize that you’re a team.
The best way to alleviate sibling rivalry is to help her understand that you aren’t in competition, you’re on the same team.
Play games where you can be on the same team or help one another succeed.
Help her accomplish her goals and ask her help when she can aid in yours. Establish a relationship where you share in one another’s victories.
Tips
Remember that your younger sister is still learning, so be patient.
Don't get frustrated if she follows or copies you, imitation is the surest form of flattery.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being a Role Model\\n1-1. Demonstrate integrity.\\nYour younger sister learns a lot about the world through her experiences with you. Show her the right way to interact with others as you spend time together.\\nShow your self-awareness when making decisions your younger sister is involved with. Let her know how your values, principles and ethics affect your choices.\\nTreat her and others with fairness.\\nBe honest with her and with others in her company.\\n1-2. Focus on your relationship together.\\nIn order to be friends with your younger sister, she needs to know that she’s important to you.\\nPay her direct attention and let her know that you are interested in what she has to say.\\nBe generous with your time when she needs you. Let her see you make an effort to have time for her.\\nPrioritize her needs. Nothing lets someone know that they matter faster than seeing someone take their needs seriously. By making them as important to you as they are to her, you demonstrate how much you value your relationship.\\n1-3. Be accessible.\\nYour younger sister may have a lot of questions about her life or yours, or she may just be looking for someone to talk to.\\nLet her know that she can come to you when she wants to talk.\\nAvoid being critical of what your sister brings to conversations. Make her feel comfortable approaching you with anything.\\nListen to her actively and participate in the conversation.\\n1-4. Be confident and genuine.\\nYour sister will look up to you more if you see yourself as someone to look up to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make mistakes.\\nShow your sister that you believe in yourself and she will believe in you too.\\nDon’t change who you are to fit in with others, instead be yourself and let her know that it’s good to accept who you are.\\nOwn up to mistakes and demonstrate that they don’t define you. By learning from your mistakes you demonstrate confidence while teaching her an important life lesson.\\n1-5. Take good care of her.\\nYou can make sure your sister knows how much she means to you by taking good care of her.\\nIf you are babysitting your sister, see that as an opportunity to spend quality time together, but remember that her safety is your responsibility.\\nExplain why things are important for her safety or well-being as you do them.\\nKeeping your sister safe and secure may not always make her happy, but it demonstrates your care and concern for her, which will far outlast any temporary frustration.\\n2. Being Inclusive and Interested\\n2-1. Let your sister play a role in the things that matter to you.\\nSharing important parts of your life is a great way to bring you and your sister closer.\\nFeeling left out can make your sister less apt to want to spend time with you. Make sure she knows that she is welcome to participate in what you’re doing.\\nExplain what you are doing and tell her why it’s important to you.\\nMake sure your sister understands the importance of what you’re sharing and how important it is to you. Also let her know that it’s important to you that she participates.\\n2-2. Pay attention to what matters to her.\\nIt’s important not only to share what’s important to you, but to share in what matters to her.\\nAcknowledge that you and your sister are both individuals and that it’s okay to not like all of the same things.\\nDemonstrate sincere interest in learning about and understanding her interests.\\nDon’t make fun of her interests if you don’t share them. It may not be your favorite thing, but it matters to her.\\n2-3. Set boundaries and explain them.\\nYou can’t always be welcoming and care free, so there’s bound to be a time when you and your sister don’t get along.\\nKnow when to walk away. Sometimes it’s better just to split up and spend a little time alone to cool off.\\nExplain your frustrations as patiently as you can. Your sister may not understand why you’re annoyed or frustrated. By explaining it to her, you can make sure she knows you’re upset at what she’s done, not who she is.\\nSet some places or times as off limits, but explain why you need to do so. Maybe you need time to get your homework done or talk to someone important on the phone. Make sure your sister knows why you need the alone time and that it isn’t because of her.\\n2-4. Make time for her.\\nSometimes getting closer to your younger sister can be as easy as just setting aside some time to spend together.\\nLet her know that spending time with her is important to you and that you look forward to it.\\nListen to what she has to say and play an active role in the conversation so she knows she has your full interest.\\n3. Getting Past Sibling Rivalry\\n3-1. Avoid competition.\\nSibling rivalry can arise when siblings feel like they have to compete for attention or become jealous of one another.\\nRemember that jealousy is completely natural and can arise from time to time.\\nMake it clear to your sister that you don’t need to compete with one another for your parent’s time or attention.\\nPraise her accomplishments and help bring attention to her when it’s appropriate so you can make sure she knows that you aren’t competing for your parent’s affection but rather sharing it.\\n3-2. Avoid comparisons.\\nYou and your sister are at different developmental stages of your lives and have different interests. Teach her not to judge her successes by comparison to yours.\\nDiscuss your differences in a positive way, emphasizing that you each have your own strengths.\\nPraise her for her accomplishments without mentioning your own as a yard stick or measure of comparison. You are different people and don’t need to excel at the same things.\\n3-3. Defuse jealousy.\\nJealousy is bound to rear its head from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a big deal.\\nDownplay the importance of jealousy. If your sister expresses her jealousy of something you can do or have, explain that jealousy is normal and that there’s nothing wrong with it.\\nRe-emphasize that you are individuals with your own strengths. If she feels jealous of something you are capable of, discuss some things she is capable of that you wish you could be better at.\\n3-4. Settle your arguments fairly.\\nNo matter how hard you try, arguments are bound to arise from time to time. Arguments are normal and natural for siblings, just remember that you are friends.\\nTreat her with respect even when you’re angry. Remember you won’t be fighting forever.\\nExpress what you are upset about clearly without being accusatory. Acknowledge her grievances and concerns.\\nListen to her side of things and try to appreciate where she’s coming from.\\nTeach her how to handle disagreements respectfully and calmly by doing so yourself.\\n3-5. Emphasize that you’re a team.\\nThe best way to alleviate sibling rivalry is to help her understand that you aren’t in competition, you’re on the same team.\\nPlay games where you can be on the same team or help one another succeed.\\nHelp her accomplish her goals and ask her help when she can aid in yours. Establish a relationship where you share in one another’s victories.\\nTips\\nRemember that your younger sister is still learning, so be patient.\\nDon't get frustrated if she follows or copies you, imitation is the surest form of flattery.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being friends with your siblings can be tough at times, but establishing a strong friendship with your younger sister can lead to having a lifelong best friend. Building or strengthening your friendship with your younger sister can be particularly fulfilling for you and a great way to help her develop into a capable young woman. Many younger siblings value the guidance and support an older sibling can provide. Like most friendships, it all begins with showing that you care.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being a Role Model\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate integrity.\", \"描述\": \"Your younger sister learns a lot about the world through her experiences with you. Show her the right way to interact with others as you spend time together.\\nShow your self-awareness when making decisions your younger sister is involved with. Let her know how your values, principles and ethics affect your choices.\\nTreat her and others with fairness.\\nBe honest with her and with others in her company.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on your relationship together.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be friends with your younger sister, she needs to know that she’s important to you.\\nPay her direct attention and let her know that you are interested in what she has to say.\\nBe generous with your time when she needs you. Let her see you make an effort to have time for her.\\nPrioritize her needs. Nothing lets someone know that they matter faster than seeing someone take their needs seriously. By making them as important to you as they are to her, you demonstrate how much you value your relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be accessible.\", \"描述\": \"Your younger sister may have a lot of questions about her life or yours, or she may just be looking for someone to talk to.\\nLet her know that she can come to you when she wants to talk.\\nAvoid being critical of what your sister brings to conversations. Make her feel comfortable approaching you with anything.\\nListen to her actively and participate in the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be confident and genuine.\", \"描述\": \"Your sister will look up to you more if you see yourself as someone to look up to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make mistakes.\\nShow your sister that you believe in yourself and she will believe in you too.\\nDon’t change who you are to fit in with others, instead be yourself and let her know that it’s good to accept who you are.\\nOwn up to mistakes and demonstrate that they don’t define you. By learning from your mistakes you demonstrate confidence while teaching her an important life lesson.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take good care of her.\", \"描述\": \"You can make sure your sister knows how much she means to you by taking good care of her.\\nIf you are babysitting your sister, see that as an opportunity to spend quality time together, but remember that her safety is your responsibility.\\nExplain why things are important for her safety or well-being as you do them.\\nKeeping your sister safe and secure may not always make her happy, but it demonstrates your care and concern for her, which will far outlast any temporary frustration.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Inclusive and Interested\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your sister play a role in the things that matter to you.\", \"描述\": \"Sharing important parts of your life is a great way to bring you and your sister closer.\\nFeeling left out can make your sister less apt to want to spend time with you. Make sure she knows that she is welcome to participate in what you’re doing.\\nExplain what you are doing and tell her why it’s important to you.\\nMake sure your sister understands the importance of what you’re sharing and how important it is to you. Also let her know that it’s important to you that she participates.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to what matters to her.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important not only to share what’s important to you, but to share in what matters to her.\\nAcknowledge that you and your sister are both individuals and that it’s okay to not like all of the same things.\\nDemonstrate sincere interest in learning about and understanding her interests.\\nDon’t make fun of her interests if you don’t share them. It may not be your favorite thing, but it matters to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries and explain them.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t always be welcoming and care free, so there’s bound to be a time when you and your sister don’t get along.\\nKnow when to walk away. Sometimes it’s better just to split up and spend a little time alone to cool off.\\nExplain your frustrations as patiently as you can. Your sister may not understand why you’re annoyed or frustrated. By explaining it to her, you can make sure she knows you’re upset at what she’s done, not who she is.\\nSet some places or times as off limits, but explain why you need to do so. Maybe you need time to get your homework done or talk to someone important on the phone. Make sure your sister knows why you need the alone time and that it isn’t because of her.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make time for her.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes getting closer to your younger sister can be as easy as just setting aside some time to spend together.\\nLet her know that spending time with her is important to you and that you look forward to it.\\nListen to what she has to say and play an active role in the conversation so she knows she has your full interest.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Past Sibling Rivalry\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid competition.\", \"描述\": \"Sibling rivalry can arise when siblings feel like they have to compete for attention or become jealous of one another.\\nRemember that jealousy is completely natural and can arise from time to time.\\nMake it clear to your sister that you don’t need to compete with one another for your parent’s time or attention.\\nPraise her accomplishments and help bring attention to her when it’s appropriate so you can make sure she knows that you aren’t competing for your parent’s affection but rather sharing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparisons.\", \"描述\": \"You and your sister are at different developmental stages of your lives and have different interests. Teach her not to judge her successes by comparison to yours.\\nDiscuss your differences in a positive way, emphasizing that you each have your own strengths.\\nPraise her for her accomplishments without mentioning your own as a yard stick or measure of comparison. You are different people and don’t need to excel at the same things.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Defuse jealousy.\", \"描述\": \"Jealousy is bound to rear its head from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a big deal.\\nDownplay the importance of jealousy. If your sister expresses her jealousy of something you can do or have, explain that jealousy is normal and that there’s nothing wrong with it.\\nRe-emphasize that you are individuals with your own strengths. If she feels jealous of something you are capable of, discuss some things she is capable of that you wish you could be better at.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Settle your arguments fairly.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how hard you try, arguments are bound to arise from time to time. Arguments are normal and natural for siblings, just remember that you are friends.\\nTreat her with respect even when you’re angry. Remember you won’t be fighting forever.\\nExpress what you are upset about clearly without being accusatory. Acknowledge her grievances and concerns.\\nListen to her side of things and try to appreciate where she’s coming from.\\nTeach her how to handle disagreements respectfully and calmly by doing so yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Emphasize that you’re a team.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to alleviate sibling rivalry is to help her understand that you aren’t in competition, you’re on the same team.\\nPlay games where you can be on the same team or help one another succeed.\\nHelp her accomplish her goals and ask her help when she can aid in yours. Establish a relationship where you share in one another’s victories.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that your younger sister is still learning, so be patient.\\n\", \"Don't get frustrated if she follows or copies you, imitation is the surest form of flattery.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,741 | How to Be Friends with a Blind or Visually Impaired Person | 1. Getting to Know Them
1-1. Remember that blind people are only different in vision.
When you want to befriend someone who is blind, don’t treat them any different than you would treat anyone else. Don’t make any assumptions about their abilities or disabilities. Speak to people that are blind in your normal voice and have normal conversations.
A blind person likely does not have any hearing problems, so don’t yell or speak louder than you normally would.
Don’t assume that blind people are not intelligent. Speak to them as you would speak to anyone else.
1-2. Identify yourself.
When you interact with a blind person, make sure you introduce yourself. A blind person may not recognize you by your voice until you meet in person several times. Instead of letting them guess, always introduce yourself when you see them. Also, when you leave a conversation, let the person know. Say goodbye or that you’re going elsewhere.
For example, when you join a conversation, say, “Hi Jordan, it’s Leslie.” When you leave, say, “Ok, Jordan, I, Leslie, am leaving now.”
1-3. Start a meaningful conversation.
Your conversation doesn’t have to start with anything pertaining to their blindness. Start a conversation the way you would with another stranger. If you notice them listening to music you enjoy, say, “I like that band, too!” If you notice a blind person traveling, mention that you enjoy travel as well. Show an interest in the person and ask questions that help get to know them.
For example, you can say, “How long have you been working here?” or, “What brought you to the party tonight?”
1-4. Find common interests.
If you meet someone out in public, it’s easy to find things in common. For example, if you meet at a concert, ask them about what other music they enjoy. If you meet at a restaurant, ask about their favorite foods or if they have recommendations. If you meet at a park, you both may enjoy being in nature. Finding things in common can help you connect and build a friendship.
While you might feel like you cannot relate with a blind person at first, you can learn quickly all the things you have in common. For example, perhaps both of you enjoy animals.
1-5. Be respectful.
Don’t become friends with someone just because they are blind. Blind people and people with disabilities in general don’t like to feel like you’re only friends because they need help. They want genuine and loving friendships, too. While many blind people don’t mind answering questions, it’s unlikely they want a friendship built on their blindness or you helping them because they’re blind.
If your friendship consists of helping them (whether they want it or not) but does not extend beyond that, make an effort to be a good friend in other ways.
2. Being Socially Considerate
2-1. Include them in normal conversations.
Don’t talk around the person or through another person. Don’t feel bad if you talk about television or other sighted activities. It’s likely the person is interested and wants to be included in the conversation.
Talk about normal things. If the person doesn’t seem interested, change the subject.
2-2. Avoid going to noisy places.
If you want to hang out with your blind friend, don’t go to very crowded or noisy places. It can be difficult for your blind friend to discriminate what you’re saying or may become overwhelmed by the noise. When you choose a spot to hang out, find somewhere where you can enjoy yourselves and not be distracted by noise.
Go to a small coffee shop or go on a walk.
2-3. Give environmental cues.
If you have established a relationship with a blind person, offer your help when you’re somewhere new. For example, announce stairs or escalators or say whether a door is opened by pushing or pulling. If you’re about to sit, ask if you can put their hand on the chair before sitting down.
Offer to read a restaurant menu to them.
2-4. Give help only when it’s asked for.
Don’t assume that a blind person wants help. If you rush to help them without asking if they want assistance, they might feel embarrassed or offended. Many blind people want to be independent and do things on their own.
If you see someone struggling with something, don’t assume that they want help. Ask. Say, “Would you like help with that?”
2-5. Don’t pet or talk to a guide dog.
Don’t go up to someone just to pet their dog. If the blind person has a service dog, don’t spend more time with the dog than the person. It can be distracting if you pet or talk to the dog. Keep your attention on the person you’re talking to.
Especially if the dog is on duty, don't interfere or distract it.
3. Acting Like a Good Friend
3-1. Be dependable.
If you want to be a good friend, let them know they can count on you. Don’t say that you’ll do something then not follow through with it. Be dependable and let them know that you are loyal. If your friend needs something, offer to help.
Don’t bail if you say you’re going to be somewhere or do something. Show up, even if you’re not in the mood at the moment.
3-2. Talk to them with tact.
When talking to your friend, remember to speak to them in a polite and tactful manner--the same as you would any other person. Do not treat them differently just because they are blind or visually impaired.
It is ok to refer to vision or use language such as "look" or "watch." You also shouldn't be afraid to say "blind" or "visually impaired."
Try to be descriptive in your language when speaking to your friend. They may appreciate having extra detail about colors, patterns, textures, scents, and shapes.
Do let your friend know when the conversation is over and when you need to leave. If you leave without telling them, they may continue speaking without realizing that you have left.
3-3. Have fun together
Friendship is based on shared experiences and having fun together. Do activities that you both enjoy and that make you feel good. Find what things you have in common and do them together. Invite your friend to do things with you and with other people.
For example, go to your favorite restaurants together or go on a walk together.
3-4. Be there in times of need.
If your friend is going through a difficult time, be there for them. Know how to give and take in your friendship. Your friend should be there for you in times of need and you should be there for them. Whether it’s a death, a breakup, a bad grade, or just a bad day, show that you support them.
Do nice things for them and let them know that you care. For example, make them a meal or help them clean.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Them\\n1-1. Remember that blind people are only different in vision.\\nWhen you want to befriend someone who is blind, don’t treat them any different than you would treat anyone else. Don’t make any assumptions about their abilities or disabilities. Speak to people that are blind in your normal voice and have normal conversations. \\nA blind person likely does not have any hearing problems, so don’t yell or speak louder than you normally would.\\nDon’t assume that blind people are not intelligent. Speak to them as you would speak to anyone else.\\n1-2. Identify yourself.\\nWhen you interact with a blind person, make sure you introduce yourself. A blind person may not recognize you by your voice until you meet in person several times. Instead of letting them guess, always introduce yourself when you see them. Also, when you leave a conversation, let the person know. Say goodbye or that you’re going elsewhere.\\nFor example, when you join a conversation, say, “Hi Jordan, it’s Leslie.” When you leave, say, “Ok, Jordan, I, Leslie, am leaving now.”\\n1-3. Start a meaningful conversation.\\nYour conversation doesn’t have to start with anything pertaining to their blindness. Start a conversation the way you would with another stranger. If you notice them listening to music you enjoy, say, “I like that band, too!” If you notice a blind person traveling, mention that you enjoy travel as well. Show an interest in the person and ask questions that help get to know them.\\nFor example, you can say, “How long have you been working here?” or, “What brought you to the party tonight?”\\n1-4. Find common interests.\\nIf you meet someone out in public, it’s easy to find things in common. For example, if you meet at a concert, ask them about what other music they enjoy. If you meet at a restaurant, ask about their favorite foods or if they have recommendations. If you meet at a park, you both may enjoy being in nature. Finding things in common can help you connect and build a friendship.\\nWhile you might feel like you cannot relate with a blind person at first, you can learn quickly all the things you have in common. For example, perhaps both of you enjoy animals.\\n1-5. Be respectful.\\nDon’t become friends with someone just because they are blind. Blind people and people with disabilities in general don’t like to feel like you’re only friends because they need help. They want genuine and loving friendships, too. While many blind people don’t mind answering questions, it’s unlikely they want a friendship built on their blindness or you helping them because they’re blind.\\nIf your friendship consists of helping them (whether they want it or not) but does not extend beyond that, make an effort to be a good friend in other ways.\\n2. Being Socially Considerate\\n2-1. Include them in normal conversations.\\nDon’t talk around the person or through another person. Don’t feel bad if you talk about television or other sighted activities. It’s likely the person is interested and wants to be included in the conversation. \\nTalk about normal things. If the person doesn’t seem interested, change the subject.\\n2-2. Avoid going to noisy places.\\nIf you want to hang out with your blind friend, don’t go to very crowded or noisy places. It can be difficult for your blind friend to discriminate what you’re saying or may become overwhelmed by the noise. When you choose a spot to hang out, find somewhere where you can enjoy yourselves and not be distracted by noise.\\nGo to a small coffee shop or go on a walk.\\n2-3. Give environmental cues.\\nIf you have established a relationship with a blind person, offer your help when you’re somewhere new. For example, announce stairs or escalators or say whether a door is opened by pushing or pulling. If you’re about to sit, ask if you can put their hand on the chair before sitting down. \\nOffer to read a restaurant menu to them.\\n2-4. Give help only when it’s asked for.\\nDon’t assume that a blind person wants help. If you rush to help them without asking if they want assistance, they might feel embarrassed or offended. Many blind people want to be independent and do things on their own.\\nIf you see someone struggling with something, don’t assume that they want help. Ask. Say, “Would you like help with that?”\\n2-5. Don’t pet or talk to a guide dog.\\nDon’t go up to someone just to pet their dog. If the blind person has a service dog, don’t spend more time with the dog than the person. It can be distracting if you pet or talk to the dog. Keep your attention on the person you’re talking to. \\nEspecially if the dog is on duty, don't interfere or distract it.\\n3. Acting Like a Good Friend\\n3-1. Be dependable.\\nIf you want to be a good friend, let them know they can count on you. Don’t say that you’ll do something then not follow through with it. Be dependable and let them know that you are loyal. If your friend needs something, offer to help.\\nDon’t bail if you say you’re going to be somewhere or do something. Show up, even if you’re not in the mood at the moment.\\n3-2. Talk to them with tact.\\nWhen talking to your friend, remember to speak to them in a polite and tactful manner--the same as you would any other person. Do not treat them differently just because they are blind or visually impaired.\\nIt is ok to refer to vision or use language such as \\\"look\\\" or \\\"watch.\\\" You also shouldn't be afraid to say \\\"blind\\\" or \\\"visually impaired.\\\"\\nTry to be descriptive in your language when speaking to your friend. They may appreciate having extra detail about colors, patterns, textures, scents, and shapes.\\nDo let your friend know when the conversation is over and when you need to leave. If you leave without telling them, they may continue speaking without realizing that you have left.\\n3-3. Have fun together\\nFriendship is based on shared experiences and having fun together. Do activities that you both enjoy and that make you feel good. Find what things you have in common and do them together. Invite your friend to do things with you and with other people.\\nFor example, go to your favorite restaurants together or go on a walk together.\\n3-4. Be there in times of need.\\nIf your friend is going through a difficult time, be there for them. Know how to give and take in your friendship. Your friend should be there for you in times of need and you should be there for them. Whether it’s a death, a breakup, a bad grade, or just a bad day, show that you support them.\\nDo nice things for them and let them know that you care. For example, make them a meal or help them clean.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Blind people want meaningful friendships just like everyone else. When getting to know a blind person, treat them like you would another friend. Adjust your manners so that they know when you’re around or leaving. Don’t forget about them when you’re in a group and include them in the discussions. Finally, show that you can be a good friend by being dependable and having fun together.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Them\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that blind people are only different in vision.\", \"描述\": \"When you want to befriend someone who is blind, don’t treat them any different than you would treat anyone else. Don’t make any assumptions about their abilities or disabilities. Speak to people that are blind in your normal voice and have normal conversations. \\nA blind person likely does not have any hearing problems, so don’t yell or speak louder than you normally would.\\nDon’t assume that blind people are not intelligent. Speak to them as you would speak to anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When you interact with a blind person, make sure you introduce yourself. A blind person may not recognize you by your voice until you meet in person several times. Instead of letting them guess, always introduce yourself when you see them. Also, when you leave a conversation, let the person know. Say goodbye or that you’re going elsewhere.\\nFor example, when you join a conversation, say, “Hi Jordan, it’s Leslie.” When you leave, say, “Ok, Jordan, I, Leslie, am leaving now.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start a meaningful conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Your conversation doesn’t have to start with anything pertaining to their blindness. Start a conversation the way you would with another stranger. If you notice them listening to music you enjoy, say, “I like that band, too!” If you notice a blind person traveling, mention that you enjoy travel as well. Show an interest in the person and ask questions that help get to know them.\\nFor example, you can say, “How long have you been working here?” or, “What brought you to the party tonight?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find common interests.\", \"描述\": \"If you meet someone out in public, it’s easy to find things in common. For example, if you meet at a concert, ask them about what other music they enjoy. If you meet at a restaurant, ask about their favorite foods or if they have recommendations. If you meet at a park, you both may enjoy being in nature. Finding things in common can help you connect and build a friendship.\\nWhile you might feel like you cannot relate with a blind person at first, you can learn quickly all the things you have in common. For example, perhaps both of you enjoy animals.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t become friends with someone just because they are blind. Blind people and people with disabilities in general don’t like to feel like you’re only friends because they need help. They want genuine and loving friendships, too. While many blind people don’t mind answering questions, it’s unlikely they want a friendship built on their blindness or you helping them because they’re blind.\\nIf your friendship consists of helping them (whether they want it or not) but does not extend beyond that, make an effort to be a good friend in other ways.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Socially Considerate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Include them in normal conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t talk around the person or through another person. Don’t feel bad if you talk about television or other sighted activities. It’s likely the person is interested and wants to be included in the conversation. \\nTalk about normal things. If the person doesn’t seem interested, change the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid going to noisy places.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to hang out with your blind friend, don’t go to very crowded or noisy places. It can be difficult for your blind friend to discriminate what you’re saying or may become overwhelmed by the noise. When you choose a spot to hang out, find somewhere where you can enjoy yourselves and not be distracted by noise.\\nGo to a small coffee shop or go on a walk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give environmental cues.\", \"描述\": \"If you have established a relationship with a blind person, offer your help when you’re somewhere new. For example, announce stairs or escalators or say whether a door is opened by pushing or pulling. If you’re about to sit, ask if you can put their hand on the chair before sitting down. \\nOffer to read a restaurant menu to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give help only when it’s asked for.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t assume that a blind person wants help. If you rush to help them without asking if they want assistance, they might feel embarrassed or offended. Many blind people want to be independent and do things on their own.\\nIf you see someone struggling with something, don’t assume that they want help. Ask. Say, “Would you like help with that?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t pet or talk to a guide dog.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t go up to someone just to pet their dog. If the blind person has a service dog, don’t spend more time with the dog than the person. It can be distracting if you pet or talk to the dog. Keep your attention on the person you’re talking to. \\nEspecially if the dog is on duty, don't interfere or distract it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acting Like a Good Friend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be dependable.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a good friend, let them know they can count on you. Don’t say that you’ll do something then not follow through with it. Be dependable and let them know that you are loyal. If your friend needs something, offer to help.\\nDon’t bail if you say you’re going to be somewhere or do something. Show up, even if you’re not in the mood at the moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to them with tact.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to your friend, remember to speak to them in a polite and tactful manner--the same as you would any other person. Do not treat them differently just because they are blind or visually impaired.\\nIt is ok to refer to vision or use language such as \\\"look\\\" or \\\"watch.\\\" You also shouldn't be afraid to say \\\"blind\\\" or \\\"visually impaired.\\\"\\nTry to be descriptive in your language when speaking to your friend. They may appreciate having extra detail about colors, patterns, textures, scents, and shapes.\\nDo let your friend know when the conversation is over and when you need to leave. If you leave without telling them, they may continue speaking without realizing that you have left.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have fun together\", \"描述\": \"Friendship is based on shared experiences and having fun together. Do activities that you both enjoy and that make you feel good. Find what things you have in common and do them together. Invite your friend to do things with you and with other people.\\nFor example, go to your favorite restaurants together or go on a walk together.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be there in times of need.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is going through a difficult time, be there for them. Know how to give and take in your friendship. Your friend should be there for you in times of need and you should be there for them. Whether it’s a death, a breakup, a bad grade, or just a bad day, show that you support them.\\nDo nice things for them and let them know that you care. For example, make them a meal or help them clean.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,742 | How to Be Friends with a Girl That Rejected You | 1. Dealing With the Rejection
1-1. Be polite as she rejects you.
While it's never fun to be rejected, you have to take it in stride, especially if you want to stay friends with the girl. Even if she isn't as polite as she could be, be the bigger person and accept the rejection.
Just end the conversation with a simple, "Okay, I'll talk to you later," or something like that.
When you see her afterwards, just smile and say hi.
Don't bring up the rejection again, at least for a while. She made her decision and you'll only pester her if you keep bringing it up.
Never insult or threaten her. It's this girl's right to decide who she wants to date, and she doesn't deserve to be insulted because she rejected your advances.
1-2. Allow yourself to be sad for a little while.
Getting rejected always hurts, and it's normal to feel bad about it. Don't try to suppress your feelings of disappointment, but rather allow yourself a few days to get those feelings out. After you go through this grieving process, you can get back to building your confidence.
Everyone grieves at their own pace, and it's normal to feel sad for a while. If you can't seem to get over it or are feeling depressed for some time, however, you might be suffering from some psychological issues. Consider talking to a guidance counselor or mental health professional to get the help you need.
1-3. Put the rejection in perspective.
Things always seem more serious than they really are when they first happen. It might seem like this rejection is a huge deal, but think about it a little more. How much does getting rejected for a date impact your life? Probably not too much.
Remember that this rejection doesn't mean anything about you as a person. You're not a bad or undesirable person because one girl didn't accept your advances. All the good qualities you had are still a part of you. Once you realize that, moving on is much easier.
1-4. Get your mind off the rejection with other activities.
Any time you're feeling down, doing nothing just makes it worse. This allows your brain to dwell on the problem. Instead, distract your brain. Watch a movie, go outside and walk or ride your bike, go to the mall with friends; anything you enjoy and that will keep your mind busy.
It especially helps to do activities you're good at. This will help rebuild your confidence. For example, if you're great at basketball, go play a pickup game at the park. Your good performance on the court will help help improve your mood and confidence level.
1-5. Try to be her friend only after you've gotten over the rejection.
If you're still hurt, you won't be able to focus on being a friend. You'll still be wondering why she rejected you, what's wrong with you, etc. This could result in you lashing out or acting angry at her. It's much better to work on getting over the rejection first before moving on, or you could cause unnecessary heartache for yourself.
2. Being Friends
2-1. Avoid having ulterior motives.
Before trying to cultivate a friendship with the girl, question your own motives. Do you really want to be friends with her, or are you just hoping it turns into something more? Even if you still like her, you shouldn't be friends with her just in hopes of getting into a relationship with her. This will probably end up in more rejection if she gets into another relationship or still doesn't want a serious relationship with you.
Also, if she realizes you have other motives, she might think twice about being your friend too. Ask yourself, "Do I really want to be friends with a girl who rejected me?"
2-2. Communicate with her normally.
Soon after the rejection, she may feel strange seeing you or talking with you. Show her that you've moved on and you're okay. Don't get tongue-tied or act shy. Talk about school, music, TV, and normal things you would talk with any other friend about. This will help her get more comfortable around you and view you more as a friend than a person she rejected. Do not let her talk you into remaining friends, if you would rather not be her friend. Don't be afraid to reject her friendship and pursue friendships with other girls who may be open to a relationship with you.
It's normal to be nervous about talking to her for the first few times after the rejection. Try reading Talk to a Girl for some ideas on how to overcome your nerves and hold down a conversation.
Start a conversation with her about something you know you have in common. For example, you may have a class together. Talking about the teacher or an upcoming test is a good way to get a conversation going. This will break the ice and show her that you're someone she can talk to normally.
Again, don't bring up the rejection. This will make her uncomfortable and she probably won't be too excited to talk to you.
2-3. Find out her interests.
Any friendship requires mutual interests. When talking to her, try to find out her hobbies and interests. You may find that you like a similar band or sports team. This will give you a ready-made topic to talk about when you see her, and can also give you ideas on where to hang out with her.
During one of your conversations you could casually bring up a band or something that was on TV the night before. Pay attention to her response and see if she is interested in it. If she doesn't like what you brought up, use that as an opportunity to ask what she prefers instead.
Learning about one of her interests will give you even more common ground with her and can help foster your friendship. However, you should only take up a hobby or interest if you legitimately like it. Doing something just because she likes it means that you're not being honest with her or yourself.
2-4. Start by socializing with her in a group.
Recently after the rejection, you shouldn't ask her to hang out with you alone. She might think you're just trying to trick her into a date. Instead, invite her to hang out with your friends. Tell her she can bring friends too. She'll probably be more comfortable around her friends and you too can socialize as normal friends would.
Movies, sports games, bowling, and going out to eat are all great activities that can be done in a large group.
If your friends know about the rejection, make sure to tell them not to bring it up while she's around. An off-hand comment from one of your friends could make her uncomfortable and mess up what would have been a fun time.
2-5. Advance to hanging out with her one-on-one slowly.
This will probably take a while, and may never happen. She simply may not be comfortable enough to see you alone, and there isn't anything you can do about it. You can still be friends if you don't see her one-on-one.
If you do ask her to see you alone, make sure she knows that you don't mean it as a date. Let her know that you just want to see her as your friend.
Also sticking to public places will probably make her more comfortable. She may get the wrong idea if you ask her to come watch movies at your house.
3. Giving Her Space
3-1. Avoid contacting her too much.
Calling or texting her constantly will probably make her think you're still interested in her, and you'll end up annoying her. Treat her the same way you would treat your other friends. Would you call your other friends three times a day? Probably not. Remember, treating her normally is the way to make her your friend.
There isn't a concrete rule on how much contact is too much, so it will depend on the situation. Paying attention to her responses will help you see if you're going too far. If she's giving you one-word answers, taking a long time to respond, and you're doing most of the talking, these are indications that she isn't interested in talking so much. Scale back the amount you contact her.
If she comes out and tells you you're contacting her too much, take this seriously and cut back.
3-2. Stick to boundaries when talking to her.
There are a few things that should be off-limits when you talk to her. Avoid bringing up her love life, her relationship if she's in one, the fact that she rejected you, and any romantic topics. Keep your conversations on safe topics.
Of course you can talk about these things if she brings them up first. Let her take that first step to show that she's comfortable talking about more serious topics with you. Until then, don't push the boundaries or you risk making her uncomfortable.
3-3. Respect her relationship if she's in one.
While it may be difficult to see her in a relationship with someone else, this is something you have to accept. You're not in a relationship with her and it's none of your business what she does romantically. Not respecting the boundaries of her relationship is rude to both her and her significant other.
Don't insult her significant other or compare yourself to him or her. In fact, it's really best not to bring up her significant other at all unless she mentions him first. This will keep conversations from getting into inappropriate territory.
Sometimes people talk to their friends of the opposite sex less often when they're in a relationship. You might find this hard to deal with, but it's common and you have to respect her choices. Don't harass her if she withdraws from you after getting into a relationship. If you two became very good friends and she stopped talking to you altogether, then you could bring it up to her and say you're disappointed that your friendship has suffered. If you're only casual friends, however, let it go.
Never make further advances on her when you know she's in a relationship. While this would be inappropriate after a rejection anyway, it is especially disrespectful to do so when you know she's in a relationship.
3-4. Make future advances only if she expresses interest in you.
It's possible that after being your friend for a while, this girl may start liking you as well. If that happens and you're still interested, great. But don't make anymore advances until she expresses interest in you. This could ruin the friendship you've been working so hard to cultivate.
Warnings
Don't delay your own love life holding out hope for this girl to like you. That might never happen, and you'll miss out on potentially life-changing opportunities.
If a girl realizes you like her, she may start asking you to do favors for her. Don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Only do things for her that you would do for any friend.
If you feel yourself getting depressed at any point, it might be a good idea to get some psychological help.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dealing With the Rejection\\n1-1. Be polite as she rejects you.\\nWhile it's never fun to be rejected, you have to take it in stride, especially if you want to stay friends with the girl. Even if she isn't as polite as she could be, be the bigger person and accept the rejection.\\nJust end the conversation with a simple, \\\"Okay, I'll talk to you later,\\\" or something like that.\\nWhen you see her afterwards, just smile and say hi.\\nDon't bring up the rejection again, at least for a while. She made her decision and you'll only pester her if you keep bringing it up.\\nNever insult or threaten her. It's this girl's right to decide who she wants to date, and she doesn't deserve to be insulted because she rejected your advances.\\n1-2. Allow yourself to be sad for a little while.\\nGetting rejected always hurts, and it's normal to feel bad about it. Don't try to suppress your feelings of disappointment, but rather allow yourself a few days to get those feelings out. After you go through this grieving process, you can get back to building your confidence.\\nEveryone grieves at their own pace, and it's normal to feel sad for a while. If you can't seem to get over it or are feeling depressed for some time, however, you might be suffering from some psychological issues. Consider talking to a guidance counselor or mental health professional to get the help you need.\\n1-3. Put the rejection in perspective.\\nThings always seem more serious than they really are when they first happen. It might seem like this rejection is a huge deal, but think about it a little more. How much does getting rejected for a date impact your life? Probably not too much.\\nRemember that this rejection doesn't mean anything about you as a person. You're not a bad or undesirable person because one girl didn't accept your advances. All the good qualities you had are still a part of you. Once you realize that, moving on is much easier.\\n1-4. Get your mind off the rejection with other activities.\\nAny time you're feeling down, doing nothing just makes it worse. This allows your brain to dwell on the problem. Instead, distract your brain. Watch a movie, go outside and walk or ride your bike, go to the mall with friends; anything you enjoy and that will keep your mind busy.\\nIt especially helps to do activities you're good at. This will help rebuild your confidence. For example, if you're great at basketball, go play a pickup game at the park. Your good performance on the court will help help improve your mood and confidence level.\\n1-5. Try to be her friend only after you've gotten over the rejection.\\nIf you're still hurt, you won't be able to focus on being a friend. You'll still be wondering why she rejected you, what's wrong with you, etc. This could result in you lashing out or acting angry at her. It's much better to work on getting over the rejection first before moving on, or you could cause unnecessary heartache for yourself.\\n2. Being Friends\\n2-1. Avoid having ulterior motives.\\nBefore trying to cultivate a friendship with the girl, question your own motives. Do you really want to be friends with her, or are you just hoping it turns into something more? Even if you still like her, you shouldn't be friends with her just in hopes of getting into a relationship with her. This will probably end up in more rejection if she gets into another relationship or still doesn't want a serious relationship with you.\\nAlso, if she realizes you have other motives, she might think twice about being your friend too. Ask yourself, \\\"Do I really want to be friends with a girl who rejected me?\\\"\\n2-2. Communicate with her normally.\\nSoon after the rejection, she may feel strange seeing you or talking with you. Show her that you've moved on and you're okay. Don't get tongue-tied or act shy. Talk about school, music, TV, and normal things you would talk with any other friend about. This will help her get more comfortable around you and view you more as a friend than a person she rejected. Do not let her talk you into remaining friends, if you would rather not be her friend. Don't be afraid to reject her friendship and pursue friendships with other girls who may be open to a relationship with you. \\nIt's normal to be nervous about talking to her for the first few times after the rejection. Try reading Talk to a Girl for some ideas on how to overcome your nerves and hold down a conversation.\\nStart a conversation with her about something you know you have in common. For example, you may have a class together. Talking about the teacher or an upcoming test is a good way to get a conversation going. This will break the ice and show her that you're someone she can talk to normally.\\nAgain, don't bring up the rejection. This will make her uncomfortable and she probably won't be too excited to talk to you.\\n2-3. Find out her interests.\\nAny friendship requires mutual interests. When talking to her, try to find out her hobbies and interests. You may find that you like a similar band or sports team. This will give you a ready-made topic to talk about when you see her, and can also give you ideas on where to hang out with her.\\nDuring one of your conversations you could casually bring up a band or something that was on TV the night before. Pay attention to her response and see if she is interested in it. If she doesn't like what you brought up, use that as an opportunity to ask what she prefers instead.\\nLearning about one of her interests will give you even more common ground with her and can help foster your friendship. However, you should only take up a hobby or interest if you legitimately like it. Doing something just because she likes it means that you're not being honest with her or yourself.\\n2-4. Start by socializing with her in a group.\\nRecently after the rejection, you shouldn't ask her to hang out with you alone. She might think you're just trying to trick her into a date. Instead, invite her to hang out with your friends. Tell her she can bring friends too. She'll probably be more comfortable around her friends and you too can socialize as normal friends would.\\nMovies, sports games, bowling, and going out to eat are all great activities that can be done in a large group.\\nIf your friends know about the rejection, make sure to tell them not to bring it up while she's around. An off-hand comment from one of your friends could make her uncomfortable and mess up what would have been a fun time.\\n2-5. Advance to hanging out with her one-on-one slowly.\\nThis will probably take a while, and may never happen. She simply may not be comfortable enough to see you alone, and there isn't anything you can do about it. You can still be friends if you don't see her one-on-one.\\nIf you do ask her to see you alone, make sure she knows that you don't mean it as a date. Let her know that you just want to see her as your friend.\\nAlso sticking to public places will probably make her more comfortable. She may get the wrong idea if you ask her to come watch movies at your house.\\n3. Giving Her Space\\n3-1. Avoid contacting her too much.\\nCalling or texting her constantly will probably make her think you're still interested in her, and you'll end up annoying her. Treat her the same way you would treat your other friends. Would you call your other friends three times a day? Probably not. Remember, treating her normally is the way to make her your friend.\\nThere isn't a concrete rule on how much contact is too much, so it will depend on the situation. Paying attention to her responses will help you see if you're going too far. If she's giving you one-word answers, taking a long time to respond, and you're doing most of the talking, these are indications that she isn't interested in talking so much. Scale back the amount you contact her.\\nIf she comes out and tells you you're contacting her too much, take this seriously and cut back.\\n3-2. Stick to boundaries when talking to her.\\nThere are a few things that should be off-limits when you talk to her. Avoid bringing up her love life, her relationship if she's in one, the fact that she rejected you, and any romantic topics. Keep your conversations on safe topics.\\nOf course you can talk about these things if she brings them up first. Let her take that first step to show that she's comfortable talking about more serious topics with you. Until then, don't push the boundaries or you risk making her uncomfortable.\\n3-3. Respect her relationship if she's in one.\\nWhile it may be difficult to see her in a relationship with someone else, this is something you have to accept. You're not in a relationship with her and it's none of your business what she does romantically. Not respecting the boundaries of her relationship is rude to both her and her significant other.\\nDon't insult her significant other or compare yourself to him or her. In fact, it's really best not to bring up her significant other at all unless she mentions him first. This will keep conversations from getting into inappropriate territory.\\nSometimes people talk to their friends of the opposite sex less often when they're in a relationship. You might find this hard to deal with, but it's common and you have to respect her choices. Don't harass her if she withdraws from you after getting into a relationship. If you two became very good friends and she stopped talking to you altogether, then you could bring it up to her and say you're disappointed that your friendship has suffered. If you're only casual friends, however, let it go.\\nNever make further advances on her when you know she's in a relationship. While this would be inappropriate after a rejection anyway, it is especially disrespectful to do so when you know she's in a relationship.\\n3-4. Make future advances only if she expresses interest in you.\\nIt's possible that after being your friend for a while, this girl may start liking you as well. If that happens and you're still interested, great. But don't make anymore advances until she expresses interest in you. This could ruin the friendship you've been working so hard to cultivate.\\nWarnings\\nDon't delay your own love life holding out hope for this girl to like you. That might never happen, and you'll miss out on potentially life-changing opportunities.\\nIf a girl realizes you like her, she may start asking you to do favors for her. Don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Only do things for her that you would do for any friend.\\nIf you feel yourself getting depressed at any point, it might be a good idea to get some psychological help.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Rejection isn't easy, but just because a girl doesn't want a relationship doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Learning to see her as a friend will take some time and work on your part, and it may not be easy. Once you get through this process, though, you'll realize that instead of losing a romantic partner, you actually have gained a friend and that this friendship can have a positive impact on your life and hers!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dealing With the Rejection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be polite as she rejects you.\", \"描述\": \"While it's never fun to be rejected, you have to take it in stride, especially if you want to stay friends with the girl. Even if she isn't as polite as she could be, be the bigger person and accept the rejection.\\nJust end the conversation with a simple, \\\"Okay, I'll talk to you later,\\\" or something like that.\\nWhen you see her afterwards, just smile and say hi.\\nDon't bring up the rejection again, at least for a while. She made her decision and you'll only pester her if you keep bringing it up.\\nNever insult or threaten her. It's this girl's right to decide who she wants to date, and she doesn't deserve to be insulted because she rejected your advances.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to be sad for a little while.\", \"描述\": \"Getting rejected always hurts, and it's normal to feel bad about it. Don't try to suppress your feelings of disappointment, but rather allow yourself a few days to get those feelings out. After you go through this grieving process, you can get back to building your confidence.\\nEveryone grieves at their own pace, and it's normal to feel sad for a while. If you can't seem to get over it or are feeling depressed for some time, however, you might be suffering from some psychological issues. Consider talking to a guidance counselor or mental health professional to get the help you need.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put the rejection in perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Things always seem more serious than they really are when they first happen. It might seem like this rejection is a huge deal, but think about it a little more. How much does getting rejected for a date impact your life? Probably not too much.\\nRemember that this rejection doesn't mean anything about you as a person. You're not a bad or undesirable person because one girl didn't accept your advances. All the good qualities you had are still a part of you. Once you realize that, moving on is much easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get your mind off the rejection with other activities.\", \"描述\": \"Any time you're feeling down, doing nothing just makes it worse. This allows your brain to dwell on the problem. Instead, distract your brain. Watch a movie, go outside and walk or ride your bike, go to the mall with friends; anything you enjoy and that will keep your mind busy.\\nIt especially helps to do activities you're good at. This will help rebuild your confidence. For example, if you're great at basketball, go play a pickup game at the park. Your good performance on the court will help help improve your mood and confidence level.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to be her friend only after you've gotten over the rejection.\", \"描述\": \"If you're still hurt, you won't be able to focus on being a friend. You'll still be wondering why she rejected you, what's wrong with you, etc. This could result in you lashing out or acting angry at her. It's much better to work on getting over the rejection first before moving on, or you could cause unnecessary heartache for yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid having ulterior motives.\", \"描述\": \"Before trying to cultivate a friendship with the girl, question your own motives. Do you really want to be friends with her, or are you just hoping it turns into something more? Even if you still like her, you shouldn't be friends with her just in hopes of getting into a relationship with her. This will probably end up in more rejection if she gets into another relationship or still doesn't want a serious relationship with you.\\nAlso, if she realizes you have other motives, she might think twice about being your friend too. Ask yourself, \\\"Do I really want to be friends with a girl who rejected me?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate with her normally.\", \"描述\": \"Soon after the rejection, she may feel strange seeing you or talking with you. Show her that you've moved on and you're okay. Don't get tongue-tied or act shy. Talk about school, music, TV, and normal things you would talk with any other friend about. This will help her get more comfortable around you and view you more as a friend than a person she rejected. Do not let her talk you into remaining friends, if you would rather not be her friend. Don't be afraid to reject her friendship and pursue friendships with other girls who may be open to a relationship with you. \\nIt's normal to be nervous about talking to her for the first few times after the rejection. Try reading Talk to a Girl for some ideas on how to overcome your nerves and hold down a conversation.\\nStart a conversation with her about something you know you have in common. For example, you may have a class together. Talking about the teacher or an upcoming test is a good way to get a conversation going. This will break the ice and show her that you're someone she can talk to normally.\\nAgain, don't bring up the rejection. This will make her uncomfortable and she probably won't be too excited to talk to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out her interests.\", \"描述\": \"Any friendship requires mutual interests. When talking to her, try to find out her hobbies and interests. You may find that you like a similar band or sports team. This will give you a ready-made topic to talk about when you see her, and can also give you ideas on where to hang out with her.\\nDuring one of your conversations you could casually bring up a band or something that was on TV the night before. Pay attention to her response and see if she is interested in it. If she doesn't like what you brought up, use that as an opportunity to ask what she prefers instead.\\nLearning about one of her interests will give you even more common ground with her and can help foster your friendship. However, you should only take up a hobby or interest if you legitimately like it. Doing something just because she likes it means that you're not being honest with her or yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start by socializing with her in a group.\", \"描述\": \"Recently after the rejection, you shouldn't ask her to hang out with you alone. She might think you're just trying to trick her into a date. Instead, invite her to hang out with your friends. Tell her she can bring friends too. She'll probably be more comfortable around her friends and you too can socialize as normal friends would.\\nMovies, sports games, bowling, and going out to eat are all great activities that can be done in a large group.\\nIf your friends know about the rejection, make sure to tell them not to bring it up while she's around. An off-hand comment from one of your friends could make her uncomfortable and mess up what would have been a fun time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Advance to hanging out with her one-on-one slowly.\", \"描述\": \"This will probably take a while, and may never happen. She simply may not be comfortable enough to see you alone, and there isn't anything you can do about it. You can still be friends if you don't see her one-on-one.\\nIf you do ask her to see you alone, make sure she knows that you don't mean it as a date. Let her know that you just want to see her as your friend.\\nAlso sticking to public places will probably make her more comfortable. She may get the wrong idea if you ask her to come watch movies at your house.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Giving Her Space\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid contacting her too much.\", \"描述\": \"Calling or texting her constantly will probably make her think you're still interested in her, and you'll end up annoying her. Treat her the same way you would treat your other friends. Would you call your other friends three times a day? Probably not. Remember, treating her normally is the way to make her your friend.\\nThere isn't a concrete rule on how much contact is too much, so it will depend on the situation. Paying attention to her responses will help you see if you're going too far. If she's giving you one-word answers, taking a long time to respond, and you're doing most of the talking, these are indications that she isn't interested in talking so much. Scale back the amount you contact her.\\nIf she comes out and tells you you're contacting her too much, take this seriously and cut back.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stick to boundaries when talking to her.\", \"描述\": \"There are a few things that should be off-limits when you talk to her. Avoid bringing up her love life, her relationship if she's in one, the fact that she rejected you, and any romantic topics. Keep your conversations on safe topics.\\nOf course you can talk about these things if she brings them up first. Let her take that first step to show that she's comfortable talking about more serious topics with you. Until then, don't push the boundaries or you risk making her uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect her relationship if she's in one.\", \"描述\": \"While it may be difficult to see her in a relationship with someone else, this is something you have to accept. You're not in a relationship with her and it's none of your business what she does romantically. Not respecting the boundaries of her relationship is rude to both her and her significant other.\\nDon't insult her significant other or compare yourself to him or her. In fact, it's really best not to bring up her significant other at all unless she mentions him first. This will keep conversations from getting into inappropriate territory.\\nSometimes people talk to their friends of the opposite sex less often when they're in a relationship. You might find this hard to deal with, but it's common and you have to respect her choices. Don't harass her if she withdraws from you after getting into a relationship. If you two became very good friends and she stopped talking to you altogether, then you could bring it up to her and say you're disappointed that your friendship has suffered. If you're only casual friends, however, let it go.\\nNever make further advances on her when you know she's in a relationship. While this would be inappropriate after a rejection anyway, it is especially disrespectful to do so when you know she's in a relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make future advances only if she expresses interest in you.\", \"描述\": \"It's possible that after being your friend for a while, this girl may start liking you as well. If that happens and you're still interested, great. But don't make anymore advances until she expresses interest in you. This could ruin the friendship you've been working so hard to cultivate.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't delay your own love life holding out hope for this girl to like you. That might never happen, and you'll miss out on potentially life-changing opportunities.\\n\", \"If a girl realizes you like her, she may start asking you to do favors for her. Don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Only do things for her that you would do for any friend.\\n\", \"If you feel yourself getting depressed at any point, it might be a good idea to get some psychological help.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,743 | How to Be Frugal | 1. Tracking your spending
Keep track of your spending.
You can't plan to spend less unless you know what you spend now. While spending money as you normally would, write down every penny you spend and what you spend it on for a week, two weeks, or a month to get an idea of what you spend your money on.
2. Reducing spending
2-1. Review your spending habits.
Every expense is fixed, variable, or discretionary. Fixed expenses are mandatory expenses that are always the same and cannot be influenced by your decisions. Examples include rent and health insurance. Variable expenses are mandatory expenses that you can influence the cost of. Examples include utility bills and transportation costs. Discretionary expenses are expenses that could be eliminated entirely if needed. Examples include alcohol, entertainment, and restaurant meals.
2-2. Reduce your spending.
Eliminate discretionary expenses that do not provide you with pleasure. For example, do not participate in the office gift exchange if you do not enjoy it.
Cut back on discretionary expenses that provide you with pleasure to maximize your enjoyment to dollar ratio. For example, eating one nice meal each month in a sit down restaurant instead of taking a weekly trip to McDonalds may save you $10, and it will give you more pleasure for the money that you do spend.
Think of ways to cut your variable expenses. Use the tips below. Think creatively about ways to reduce expenses.
2-3. Cut your spending further.
Every budget has a little fat. Trim yours slightly more. Incorporate a new tip every few weeks. Decide what works for you and stick with it.
3. Removing debt
3-1. Get out of debt.
Debt costs you a lot of extra money. It may be wise to eliminate all discretionary spending until you are out of debt. Interest on debt does not provide you with pleasure, and going into debt is optional.
3-2. Use only cash to make payments.
Work out how much you need for spending on food, fuel and fun for the month - this is after you have paid bills and transferred savings. Once you have done this, knock off £50 pounds and transfer it into savings - that's only £12 a week that you'll be short and this can be easily absorbed in some frugal food shopping - if you don't need it, don't buy it.
Withdraw the amount decided upon from the bank after each pay day.
Split the amount withdrawn into the number of weeks until your next pay day and put it into separate envelopes and seal them. By doing this, you'll be less likely to dip into them. (Each envelope is only to be opened at the end of each week.)
Try to live on less than you have budgeted for each week - treat it as a competition with yourself - saving money starts to become addictive, but it is important once a month to do something nice that doesn't cost too much, so budget for this too - go to the cinema; have a meal out; brunch with friends or family; go for a walk and have a drink in the beer garden before walking home; pay for a gym subscription or something else that floats your boat - always go dutch.
Remember - only buy things that you have the cash for in that week's money, or, save over to next week what you have towards the item and buy it then... you may have to do this for a couple of weeks, or longer, until you have enough money, but there is something very satisfying in buy in cash and knowing that you don't owe anyone anything for it and that the item is 100% yours.
At the end of each week or month, pay what you have managed to save off something that you owe, or into a savings account - you'll be surprised at how quickly you clear debt, or how quickly it adds up in savings.
4. Saving
4-1. Save for items you want to buy.
Only buy items you have money in hand for. Do not finance, use payment plans, or carry a balance on a credit card. Paying cash will save you money.
4-2. Celebrate your success!
Enjoy the things you own knowing you worked hard for them. Notice your peace of mind knowing there is money in the bank. Share your cost cutting tips with other frugal people. Think of the frugal lifestyle in positive ways.
Tips
Avoid name brands. Famous brands are usually more expensive. There are often cheaper, store-brand alternatives that may be of the same or superior quality.
Replace only what you need to replace. You can buy a kit to refill your ink cartridge instead of buying a new ink cartridge every time yours runs out. You can buy a new wheel instead of replacing your stroller.
Cook your own food. Restaurants are expensive because you pay for service, ambiance, and space to eat. Cooking your own food also allows you to customize recipes for maximum savings. If you have the space, gardening provides even greater cost savings when combined with cooking your own food.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Tracking your spending\\nKeep track of your spending.\\nYou can't plan to spend less unless you know what you spend now. While spending money as you normally would, write down every penny you spend and what you spend it on for a week, two weeks, or a month to get an idea of what you spend your money on.\\n2. Reducing spending\\n2-1. Review your spending habits.\\nEvery expense is fixed, variable, or discretionary. Fixed expenses are mandatory expenses that are always the same and cannot be influenced by your decisions. Examples include rent and health insurance. Variable expenses are mandatory expenses that you can influence the cost of. Examples include utility bills and transportation costs. Discretionary expenses are expenses that could be eliminated entirely if needed. Examples include alcohol, entertainment, and restaurant meals.\\n2-2. Reduce your spending.\\nEliminate discretionary expenses that do not provide you with pleasure. For example, do not participate in the office gift exchange if you do not enjoy it.\\nCut back on discretionary expenses that provide you with pleasure to maximize your enjoyment to dollar ratio. For example, eating one nice meal each month in a sit down restaurant instead of taking a weekly trip to McDonalds may save you $10, and it will give you more pleasure for the money that you do spend.\\nThink of ways to cut your variable expenses. Use the tips below. Think creatively about ways to reduce expenses.\\n2-3. Cut your spending further.\\nEvery budget has a little fat. Trim yours slightly more. Incorporate a new tip every few weeks. Decide what works for you and stick with it.\\n3. Removing debt\\n3-1. Get out of debt.\\nDebt costs you a lot of extra money. It may be wise to eliminate all discretionary spending until you are out of debt. Interest on debt does not provide you with pleasure, and going into debt is optional.\\n3-2. Use only cash to make payments.\\nWork out how much you need for spending on food, fuel and fun for the month - this is after you have paid bills and transferred savings. Once you have done this, knock off £50 pounds and transfer it into savings - that's only £12 a week that you'll be short and this can be easily absorbed in some frugal food shopping - if you don't need it, don't buy it.\\nWithdraw the amount decided upon from the bank after each pay day.\\nSplit the amount withdrawn into the number of weeks until your next pay day and put it into separate envelopes and seal them. By doing this, you'll be less likely to dip into them. (Each envelope is only to be opened at the end of each week.)\\nTry to live on less than you have budgeted for each week - treat it as a competition with yourself - saving money starts to become addictive, but it is important once a month to do something nice that doesn't cost too much, so budget for this too - go to the cinema; have a meal out; brunch with friends or family; go for a walk and have a drink in the beer garden before walking home; pay for a gym subscription or something else that floats your boat - always go dutch.\\nRemember - only buy things that you have the cash for in that week's money, or, save over to next week what you have towards the item and buy it then... you may have to do this for a couple of weeks, or longer, until you have enough money, but there is something very satisfying in buy in cash and knowing that you don't owe anyone anything for it and that the item is 100% yours.\\nAt the end of each week or month, pay what you have managed to save off something that you owe, or into a savings account - you'll be surprised at how quickly you clear debt, or how quickly it adds up in savings.\\n4. Saving\\n4-1. Save for items you want to buy.\\nOnly buy items you have money in hand for. Do not finance, use payment plans, or carry a balance on a credit card. Paying cash will save you money.\\n4-2. Celebrate your success!\\nEnjoy the things you own knowing you worked hard for them. Notice your peace of mind knowing there is money in the bank. Share your cost cutting tips with other frugal people. Think of the frugal lifestyle in positive ways.\\nTips\\nAvoid name brands. Famous brands are usually more expensive. There are often cheaper, store-brand alternatives that may be of the same or superior quality.\\nReplace only what you need to replace. You can buy a kit to refill your ink cartridge instead of buying a new ink cartridge every time yours runs out. You can buy a new wheel instead of replacing your stroller.\\nCook your own food. Restaurants are expensive because you pay for service, ambiance, and space to eat. Cooking your own food also allows you to customize recipes for maximum savings. If you have the space, gardening provides even greater cost savings when combined with cooking your own food.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Frugality is a lifestyle of living well within your means. It means spending less than you make so that when a crisis arises, you can weather it calmly knowing you have both the savings to survive and practice using your money wisely. Many individual decisions add up to a lifestyle of frugality. While some decisions may save hundreds of dollars, others may only save ten cents. However, keep in mind if you take care of the pennies, the dollars will take care of themselves.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tracking your spending\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep track of your spending.\", \"描述\": \"You can't plan to spend less unless you know what you spend now. While spending money as you normally would, write down every penny you spend and what you spend it on for a week, two weeks, or a month to get an idea of what you spend your money on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reducing spending\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review your spending habits.\", \"描述\": \"Every expense is fixed, variable, or discretionary. Fixed expenses are mandatory expenses that are always the same and cannot be influenced by your decisions. Examples include rent and health insurance. Variable expenses are mandatory expenses that you can influence the cost of. Examples include utility bills and transportation costs. Discretionary expenses are expenses that could be eliminated entirely if needed. Examples include alcohol, entertainment, and restaurant meals.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reduce your spending.\", \"描述\": \"Eliminate discretionary expenses that do not provide you with pleasure. For example, do not participate in the office gift exchange if you do not enjoy it.\\nCut back on discretionary expenses that provide you with pleasure to maximize your enjoyment to dollar ratio. For example, eating one nice meal each month in a sit down restaurant instead of taking a weekly trip to McDonalds may save you $10, and it will give you more pleasure for the money that you do spend.\\nThink of ways to cut your variable expenses. Use the tips below. Think creatively about ways to reduce expenses.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cut your spending further.\", \"描述\": \"Every budget has a little fat. Trim yours slightly more. Incorporate a new tip every few weeks. Decide what works for you and stick with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Removing debt\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get out of debt.\", \"描述\": \"Debt costs you a lot of extra money. It may be wise to eliminate all discretionary spending until you are out of debt. Interest on debt does not provide you with pleasure, and going into debt is optional.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use only cash to make payments.\", \"描述\": \"Work out how much you need for spending on food, fuel and fun for the month - this is after you have paid bills and transferred savings. Once you have done this, knock off £50 pounds and transfer it into savings - that's only £12 a week that you'll be short and this can be easily absorbed in some frugal food shopping - if you don't need it, don't buy it.\\nWithdraw the amount decided upon from the bank after each pay day.\\nSplit the amount withdrawn into the number of weeks until your next pay day and put it into separate envelopes and seal them. By doing this, you'll be less likely to dip into them. (Each envelope is only to be opened at the end of each week.)\\nTry to live on less than you have budgeted for each week - treat it as a competition with yourself - saving money starts to become addictive, but it is important once a month to do something nice that doesn't cost too much, so budget for this too - go to the cinema; have a meal out; brunch with friends or family; go for a walk and have a drink in the beer garden before walking home; pay for a gym subscription or something else that floats your boat - always go dutch.\\nRemember - only buy things that you have the cash for in that week's money, or, save over to next week what you have towards the item and buy it then... you may have to do this for a couple of weeks, or longer, until you have enough money, but there is something very satisfying in buy in cash and knowing that you don't owe anyone anything for it and that the item is 100% yours.\\nAt the end of each week or month, pay what you have managed to save off something that you owe, or into a savings account - you'll be surprised at how quickly you clear debt, or how quickly it adds up in savings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Saving\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Save for items you want to buy.\", \"描述\": \"Only buy items you have money in hand for. Do not finance, use payment plans, or carry a balance on a credit card. Paying cash will save you money.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your success!\", \"描述\": \"Enjoy the things you own knowing you worked hard for them. Notice your peace of mind knowing there is money in the bank. Share your cost cutting tips with other frugal people. Think of the frugal lifestyle in positive ways.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid name brands. Famous brands are usually more expensive. There are often cheaper, store-brand alternatives that may be of the same or superior quality.\\n\", \"Replace only what you need to replace. You can buy a kit to refill your ink cartridge instead of buying a new ink cartridge every time yours runs out. You can buy a new wheel instead of replacing your stroller.\\n\", \"Cook your own food. Restaurants are expensive because you pay for service, ambiance, and space to eat. Cooking your own food also allows you to customize recipes for maximum savings. If you have the space, gardening provides even greater cost savings when combined with cooking your own food.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,744 | How to Be Fun and Flirty | 1. Acting Fun and Flirty
1-1. Smile often so you seem warm and approachable.
To be fun and flirty, you want to be positive, upbeat, and genuine. Smiling at others as you pass them is an easy way to display these qualities. Do this all the time, and others will likely think you are fun and easygoing. Radiate your beautiful smile for the world to see, and you’ll seem confident and flirty.
If you are insecure about your smile, that’s okay! Smile in front of the mirror to practice. Try different techniques, like opening your mouth more or tilting your chin down slightly, until you find the smile that makes you feel the best.
While walking down the street, keep a smile on your face the whole time. You can listen to positive music or look at nature around you to boost your mood if need be.
1-2. Maintain a positive attitude so you seem fun and carefree.
For instance, don't constantly talk about how stressed or busy you are, but instead keep a lighthearted, optimistic attitude for life. This way, others will think you're upbeat and fun, and they'll likely want to be around you more often.
For example, instead of saying something like "Man, this week sucked. I was so busy with work, I barely got to relax," try saying "Wow, am I glad it's Friday!"
1-3. Make direct eye contact with everyone you meet.
Another way to show your flirtatious side is to lock eyes with people when you meet them, rather than looking away. This shows enthusiasm and deepens your connection instantly. Making eye contact also displays confidence and a self-assured attitude, which often seems effortlessly flirty as well.
For example, when you are buying your morning coffee, make eye contact with the barista and smile back at them.
1-4. Express yourself without hesitation.
Oftentimes self-expression and self-assured behavior seems fun, flirty, and intriguing, so don’t be afraid to dance in public, make a bold decision, or express your opinion. Expressing yourself without any reservations can make others interested in getting to know you better. This is an easy way to get cuties to engage with you.
You can walk up to your crush and give them a note with your phone number.
Try singing karaoke if you are at the bar with your friends.
1-5. Laugh and giggle all the time!
An effortless way to show your fun side is by finding humor in every situation. Laugh at other people's jokes and giggle at your own mistakes, for instance. This shows you have a lighthearted, playful attitude.
For example, if you take the wrong exit while driving home from work, laugh to yourself rather than getting upset over the mistake.
2. Flirting One-on-One
2-1. Flip your hair tastefully to capture your crush’s interest.
Subtly flipping long hair out of your face or behind your shoulder is a classic flirtatious move. Place your hand underneath your hair, and quickly flip it behind you. Try not to be too obvious with your hair flip so this can seem effortless and irresistible.
2-2. Introduce yourself confidently when you want to break the ice.
To seem fun and flirty to your crush, don’t be afraid to introduce yourself first. They may think your confidence is sexy, and your initiative will likely intrigue them.
Do this if you are at a concert, bar, or social event and find someone you want to get to know better.
2-3. Compliment your crush to make them feel good.
While chatting with a hottie, tell them things like, “Your outfit looks awesome,” or “Your hair color is gorgeous,” to boost their confidence. Throwing out compliments can seem flirty and fun, and you may seem more approachable and confident.
For example, if you are on a coffee date, say something like, “I really like spending time with you. We should do this more often.”
Compliment their physical appearance, intelligence, or personality traits, for instance.
2-4. Touch your crush appropriately to show them your flirty side.
An easy way to come across confident is to incorporate flirtatious touching. Simply tap your crush on the arm, touch their shoulder gently, or stroke their hand in passing. This shows them you are into them without being too direct.
For example, if you are chatting at school or at work, you can gently touch their arm as you say goodbye.
Don't jump straight into doing this when you meet someone—you want to respect their space at first until they start to open up and feel more comfortable.
2-5. Be spontaneous when making plans with others.
Spontaneity can be fun and exciting, and they’ll likely think you’re up for anything! For instance, shoot your crush a text saying something like, “I really want some Chinese food! Want to go grab lunch?”
If you recently went on a first date, text your date and say something like, “Hey, I really enjoyed our date last week. What are you up to tonight?”
If you’re in a relationship, you can text your partner while at work and say, “I booked us a romantic weekend getaway. It’s a surprise but pack a backpack and come over after work!”
2-6. Tease your crush to show your playful side.
There’s nothing more fun and flirty than a little innocent teasing. To do this, get creative and improvise depending on the situation. You can wink at your crush as they walk past you, send a suggestive text message, or joke around when chatting.
For example, mimic or mock something they say in a harmless way. You can make fun of their accent or repeat their words back to them.
Give your crush a silly nickname and call them by it regularly. For example, you can say something like, “Since you laugh all the time, I’m calling you Giggles.”
2-7. Invite your crush to go on a fun, exciting date.
To seem fun and flirty, it's helpful to keep up with cool events and new businesses popping up in your area. This way, you'll always have a fun event coming up to look forward to. Ask your crush to hit the new Spanish restaurant that just opened up downtown for a new, interesting date idea.
To find events in your area, read the newspaper, check online, or review social media events.
For example, you can go to a concert on a Friday night, go to a Saturday farmer's market or craft show, or hit a gallery opening.
3. Looking Fun and Flirty
3-1. Be hygienic
Shower daily, wash your face every day, and brush your teeth twice a day. Put on deodorant before you leave the house, and do your laundry every week or so. Doing these things will help you look and smell awesome so you can flirt with confidence.
In addition, it’s a good idea to get a haircut every 4-6 weeks and cut your nails regularly.
Shave 1 or more times a week to keep your skin smooth and touchable.
3-2. Dress in clothes that make you feel confident and sexy.
You don’t have to wear sexy clothing to feel confident and cute in your outfits. Pick a button-down, jeans, dress, skirt, or blouse that boosts your confidence. Fill your wardrobe with awesome items that make you feel great so you can feel fun and flirty in any outfit.
Put on a form-fitting white tee and a pair of tailored, dark-washed jeans for a casual yet playful look.
Wear a pencil skirt with a cream-colored lace blouse for a feminine style that you can play up for work or for a night out.
If you wear very revealing clothing, you may seem desperate rather than flirty. Be tasteful with the amount of visible cleavage, for example.
3-3. Pick clothing or accessories that show off your neck.
In particular, showing off your neck is a flirty gesture that may get the interest of your crush. Choose tops with a “V”-cut to show off your neckline, and try wearing a choker-style necklace to draw attention to your neck. This is an easy way to add a subtle flirty touch.
3-4. Try cute and sexy hairstyles like tousled waves or a high ponytail.
Styling your hair in a sexy way can instantly boost your confidence level. Tousled waves are flirty because they can mimic that sexy, bedhead style. High ponytails are fun because you can show off your facial features and neck. You can feel flirty and cute with nearly any hairstyles, but search online for inspiration if you want ideas.
To make tousled waves, try braiding your hair and sleeping with them in to make instant curls. You can also use a curling iron to curl all of your hair. Then, use a blowdryer or your hands to tousle the curls into soft, relaxed waves.
For a high ponytail, comb all of your hair back and grasp it at the crown of your head. Secure your hair with an elastic hair tie. It is helpful to spray a light, even layer of hairspray to reduce frizz or flyaway hairs.
For a masculine, flirty style, try rubbing a dime-size amount of gel in your hands and running it through your hair. Comb your hair backward for a slicked-back, sleek style.
3-5. Apply some makeup if you want to enhance and define your features.
Use a dime-size amount of liquid foundation to cover your forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. Apply eyeliner and mascara to define your eyes. If you’d like, you can fill in your brows with an eyebrow pencil and dust some eyeshadow over your lids. Wear blush for a flushed, rosy glow, and add red lipstick or lip gloss for a kissable touch.
Add more or less makeup, based on personal preference.
You can also set your foundation with mineral setting powder so your makeup stays on all day.
Defining your eyes can help you feel sexy and confident, so you can easily make eye contact with cute passersby.
3-6. Exercise
To be fun and flirty, it’s important to be positive and feel confident, so work out for 20-30 minutes or longer every day if you can. Regular exercise keeps your body healthy, and it’s known to also boost mood and prevent depression. Do cardiovascular activities, such as running, hiking, or playing sports, to get your heart rate up.
You can also jog on a treadmill, take a walk with your friends, or lift weights at the gym.
Create an exercise schedule that works with your day-to-day life. If you can only go to the gym a couple times a week, that’s okay.
Tips
Remember that you want the flirting to seem effortless and natural. Relax, don’t worry what others think, and be yourself rather than trying too hard to seem flirty.
Try not to be very sensitive to others' words or actions. This way, you can keep a lighthearted, carefree attitude.
Don't worry if it doesn't catch your crush's attention at first. They will eventually notice you and want to be your friend and maybe your girlfriend/boyfriend.
Warnings
Don't flirt with people that you aren't interested in. This could lead them on and hurt their feelings.
Avoid excessively bragging about yourself or only talking about yourself. While this may make you feel confident, it may be a turn-off for some people.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:49",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Fun and Flirty\\n1-1. Smile often so you seem warm and approachable.\\nTo be fun and flirty, you want to be positive, upbeat, and genuine. Smiling at others as you pass them is an easy way to display these qualities. Do this all the time, and others will likely think you are fun and easygoing. Radiate your beautiful smile for the world to see, and you’ll seem confident and flirty.\\nIf you are insecure about your smile, that’s okay! Smile in front of the mirror to practice. Try different techniques, like opening your mouth more or tilting your chin down slightly, until you find the smile that makes you feel the best.\\nWhile walking down the street, keep a smile on your face the whole time. You can listen to positive music or look at nature around you to boost your mood if need be.\\n1-2. Maintain a positive attitude so you seem fun and carefree.\\nFor instance, don't constantly talk about how stressed or busy you are, but instead keep a lighthearted, optimistic attitude for life. This way, others will think you're upbeat and fun, and they'll likely want to be around you more often.\\nFor example, instead of saying something like \\\"Man, this week sucked. I was so busy with work, I barely got to relax,\\\" try saying \\\"Wow, am I glad it's Friday!\\\"\\n1-3. Make direct eye contact with everyone you meet.\\nAnother way to show your flirtatious side is to lock eyes with people when you meet them, rather than looking away. This shows enthusiasm and deepens your connection instantly. Making eye contact also displays confidence and a self-assured attitude, which often seems effortlessly flirty as well.\\nFor example, when you are buying your morning coffee, make eye contact with the barista and smile back at them.\\n1-4. Express yourself without hesitation.\\nOftentimes self-expression and self-assured behavior seems fun, flirty, and intriguing, so don’t be afraid to dance in public, make a bold decision, or express your opinion. Expressing yourself without any reservations can make others interested in getting to know you better. This is an easy way to get cuties to engage with you.\\nYou can walk up to your crush and give them a note with your phone number.\\nTry singing karaoke if you are at the bar with your friends.\\n1-5. Laugh and giggle all the time!\\nAn effortless way to show your fun side is by finding humor in every situation. Laugh at other people's jokes and giggle at your own mistakes, for instance. This shows you have a lighthearted, playful attitude.\\nFor example, if you take the wrong exit while driving home from work, laugh to yourself rather than getting upset over the mistake.\\n2. Flirting One-on-One\\n2-1. Flip your hair tastefully to capture your crush’s interest.\\nSubtly flipping long hair out of your face or behind your shoulder is a classic flirtatious move. Place your hand underneath your hair, and quickly flip it behind you. Try not to be too obvious with your hair flip so this can seem effortless and irresistible.\\n2-2. Introduce yourself confidently when you want to break the ice.\\nTo seem fun and flirty to your crush, don’t be afraid to introduce yourself first. They may think your confidence is sexy, and your initiative will likely intrigue them.\\nDo this if you are at a concert, bar, or social event and find someone you want to get to know better.\\n2-3. Compliment your crush to make them feel good.\\nWhile chatting with a hottie, tell them things like, “Your outfit looks awesome,” or “Your hair color is gorgeous,” to boost their confidence. Throwing out compliments can seem flirty and fun, and you may seem more approachable and confident.\\nFor example, if you are on a coffee date, say something like, “I really like spending time with you. We should do this more often.”\\nCompliment their physical appearance, intelligence, or personality traits, for instance.\\n2-4. Touch your crush appropriately to show them your flirty side.\\nAn easy way to come across confident is to incorporate flirtatious touching. Simply tap your crush on the arm, touch their shoulder gently, or stroke their hand in passing. This shows them you are into them without being too direct.\\nFor example, if you are chatting at school or at work, you can gently touch their arm as you say goodbye.\\nDon't jump straight into doing this when you meet someone—you want to respect their space at first until they start to open up and feel more comfortable.\\n2-5. Be spontaneous when making plans with others.\\nSpontaneity can be fun and exciting, and they’ll likely think you’re up for anything! For instance, shoot your crush a text saying something like, “I really want some Chinese food! Want to go grab lunch?”\\nIf you recently went on a first date, text your date and say something like, “Hey, I really enjoyed our date last week. What are you up to tonight?”\\nIf you’re in a relationship, you can text your partner while at work and say, “I booked us a romantic weekend getaway. It’s a surprise but pack a backpack and come over after work!”\\n2-6. Tease your crush to show your playful side.\\nThere’s nothing more fun and flirty than a little innocent teasing. To do this, get creative and improvise depending on the situation. You can wink at your crush as they walk past you, send a suggestive text message, or joke around when chatting.\\nFor example, mimic or mock something they say in a harmless way. You can make fun of their accent or repeat their words back to them.\\nGive your crush a silly nickname and call them by it regularly. For example, you can say something like, “Since you laugh all the time, I’m calling you Giggles.”\\n2-7. Invite your crush to go on a fun, exciting date.\\nTo seem fun and flirty, it's helpful to keep up with cool events and new businesses popping up in your area. This way, you'll always have a fun event coming up to look forward to. Ask your crush to hit the new Spanish restaurant that just opened up downtown for a new, interesting date idea.\\nTo find events in your area, read the newspaper, check online, or review social media events.\\nFor example, you can go to a concert on a Friday night, go to a Saturday farmer's market or craft show, or hit a gallery opening.\\n3. Looking Fun and Flirty\\n3-1. Be hygienic\\nShower daily, wash your face every day, and brush your teeth twice a day. Put on deodorant before you leave the house, and do your laundry every week or so. Doing these things will help you look and smell awesome so you can flirt with confidence.\\nIn addition, it’s a good idea to get a haircut every 4-6 weeks and cut your nails regularly.\\nShave 1 or more times a week to keep your skin smooth and touchable.\\n3-2. Dress in clothes that make you feel confident and sexy.\\nYou don’t have to wear sexy clothing to feel confident and cute in your outfits. Pick a button-down, jeans, dress, skirt, or blouse that boosts your confidence. Fill your wardrobe with awesome items that make you feel great so you can feel fun and flirty in any outfit.\\nPut on a form-fitting white tee and a pair of tailored, dark-washed jeans for a casual yet playful look.\\nWear a pencil skirt with a cream-colored lace blouse for a feminine style that you can play up for work or for a night out.\\nIf you wear very revealing clothing, you may seem desperate rather than flirty. Be tasteful with the amount of visible cleavage, for example.\\n3-3. Pick clothing or accessories that show off your neck.\\nIn particular, showing off your neck is a flirty gesture that may get the interest of your crush. Choose tops with a “V”-cut to show off your neckline, and try wearing a choker-style necklace to draw attention to your neck. This is an easy way to add a subtle flirty touch.\\n3-4. Try cute and sexy hairstyles like tousled waves or a high ponytail.\\nStyling your hair in a sexy way can instantly boost your confidence level. Tousled waves are flirty because they can mimic that sexy, bedhead style. High ponytails are fun because you can show off your facial features and neck. You can feel flirty and cute with nearly any hairstyles, but search online for inspiration if you want ideas.\\nTo make tousled waves, try braiding your hair and sleeping with them in to make instant curls. You can also use a curling iron to curl all of your hair. Then, use a blowdryer or your hands to tousle the curls into soft, relaxed waves.\\nFor a high ponytail, comb all of your hair back and grasp it at the crown of your head. Secure your hair with an elastic hair tie. It is helpful to spray a light, even layer of hairspray to reduce frizz or flyaway hairs.\\nFor a masculine, flirty style, try rubbing a dime-size amount of gel in your hands and running it through your hair. Comb your hair backward for a slicked-back, sleek style.\\n3-5. Apply some makeup if you want to enhance and define your features.\\nUse a dime-size amount of liquid foundation to cover your forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. Apply eyeliner and mascara to define your eyes. If you’d like, you can fill in your brows with an eyebrow pencil and dust some eyeshadow over your lids. Wear blush for a flushed, rosy glow, and add red lipstick or lip gloss for a kissable touch.\\nAdd more or less makeup, based on personal preference.\\nYou can also set your foundation with mineral setting powder so your makeup stays on all day.\\nDefining your eyes can help you feel sexy and confident, so you can easily make eye contact with cute passersby.\\n3-6. Exercise\\nTo be fun and flirty, it’s important to be positive and feel confident, so work out for 20-30 minutes or longer every day if you can. Regular exercise keeps your body healthy, and it’s known to also boost mood and prevent depression. Do cardiovascular activities, such as running, hiking, or playing sports, to get your heart rate up.\\nYou can also jog on a treadmill, take a walk with your friends, or lift weights at the gym.\\nCreate an exercise schedule that works with your day-to-day life. If you can only go to the gym a couple times a week, that’s okay.\\nTips\\nRemember that you want the flirting to seem effortless and natural. Relax, don’t worry what others think, and be yourself rather than trying too hard to seem flirty.\\nTry not to be very sensitive to others' words or actions. This way, you can keep a lighthearted, carefree attitude.\\nDon't worry if it doesn't catch your crush's attention at first. They will eventually notice you and want to be your friend and maybe your girlfriend/boyfriend.\\nWarnings\\nDon't flirt with people that you aren't interested in. This could lead them on and hurt their feelings.\\nAvoid excessively bragging about yourself or only talking about yourself. While this may make you feel confident, it may be a turn-off for some people.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being fun and flirty starts with confidence and playfulness. For instance, smile often, make direct eye contact, and don’t be afraid to express yourself. When you’re alone with your crush, compliment them, touch them, and be spontaneous. Don’t be afraid to strut your stuff! With a little effort, you can be fun and flirty.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Fun and Flirty\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile often so you seem warm and approachable.\", \"描述\": \"To be fun and flirty, you want to be positive, upbeat, and genuine. Smiling at others as you pass them is an easy way to display these qualities. Do this all the time, and others will likely think you are fun and easygoing. Radiate your beautiful smile for the world to see, and you’ll seem confident and flirty.\\nIf you are insecure about your smile, that’s okay! Smile in front of the mirror to practice. Try different techniques, like opening your mouth more or tilting your chin down slightly, until you find the smile that makes you feel the best.\\nWhile walking down the street, keep a smile on your face the whole time. You can listen to positive music or look at nature around you to boost your mood if need be.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain a positive attitude so you seem fun and carefree.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, don't constantly talk about how stressed or busy you are, but instead keep a lighthearted, optimistic attitude for life. This way, others will think you're upbeat and fun, and they'll likely want to be around you more often.\\nFor example, instead of saying something like \\\"Man, this week sucked. I was so busy with work, I barely got to relax,\\\" try saying \\\"Wow, am I glad it's Friday!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make direct eye contact with everyone you meet.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to show your flirtatious side is to lock eyes with people when you meet them, rather than looking away. This shows enthusiasm and deepens your connection instantly. Making eye contact also displays confidence and a self-assured attitude, which often seems effortlessly flirty as well.\\nFor example, when you are buying your morning coffee, make eye contact with the barista and smile back at them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express yourself without hesitation.\", \"描述\": \"Oftentimes self-expression and self-assured behavior seems fun, flirty, and intriguing, so don’t be afraid to dance in public, make a bold decision, or express your opinion. Expressing yourself without any reservations can make others interested in getting to know you better. This is an easy way to get cuties to engage with you.\\nYou can walk up to your crush and give them a note with your phone number.\\nTry singing karaoke if you are at the bar with your friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Laugh and giggle all the time!\", \"描述\": \"An effortless way to show your fun side is by finding humor in every situation. Laugh at other people's jokes and giggle at your own mistakes, for instance. This shows you have a lighthearted, playful attitude.\\nFor example, if you take the wrong exit while driving home from work, laugh to yourself rather than getting upset over the mistake.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirting One-on-One\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flip your hair tastefully to capture your crush’s interest.\", \"描述\": \"Subtly flipping long hair out of your face or behind your shoulder is a classic flirtatious move. Place your hand underneath your hair, and quickly flip it behind you. Try not to be too obvious with your hair flip so this can seem effortless and irresistible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself confidently when you want to break the ice.\", \"描述\": \"To seem fun and flirty to your crush, don’t be afraid to introduce yourself first. They may think your confidence is sexy, and your initiative will likely intrigue them.\\nDo this if you are at a concert, bar, or social event and find someone you want to get to know better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment your crush to make them feel good.\", \"描述\": \"While chatting with a hottie, tell them things like, “Your outfit looks awesome,” or “Your hair color is gorgeous,” to boost their confidence. Throwing out compliments can seem flirty and fun, and you may seem more approachable and confident.\\nFor example, if you are on a coffee date, say something like, “I really like spending time with you. We should do this more often.”\\nCompliment their physical appearance, intelligence, or personality traits, for instance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Touch your crush appropriately to show them your flirty side.\", \"描述\": \"An easy way to come across confident is to incorporate flirtatious touching. Simply tap your crush on the arm, touch their shoulder gently, or stroke their hand in passing. This shows them you are into them without being too direct.\\nFor example, if you are chatting at school or at work, you can gently touch their arm as you say goodbye.\\nDon't jump straight into doing this when you meet someone—you want to respect their space at first until they start to open up and feel more comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be spontaneous when making plans with others.\", \"描述\": \"Spontaneity can be fun and exciting, and they’ll likely think you’re up for anything! For instance, shoot your crush a text saying something like, “I really want some Chinese food! Want to go grab lunch?”\\nIf you recently went on a first date, text your date and say something like, “Hey, I really enjoyed our date last week. What are you up to tonight?”\\nIf you’re in a relationship, you can text your partner while at work and say, “I booked us a romantic weekend getaway. It’s a surprise but pack a backpack and come over after work!”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tease your crush to show your playful side.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing more fun and flirty than a little innocent teasing. To do this, get creative and improvise depending on the situation. You can wink at your crush as they walk past you, send a suggestive text message, or joke around when chatting.\\nFor example, mimic or mock something they say in a harmless way. You can make fun of their accent or repeat their words back to them.\\nGive your crush a silly nickname and call them by it regularly. For example, you can say something like, “Since you laugh all the time, I’m calling you Giggles.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Invite your crush to go on a fun, exciting date.\", \"描述\": \"To seem fun and flirty, it's helpful to keep up with cool events and new businesses popping up in your area. This way, you'll always have a fun event coming up to look forward to. Ask your crush to hit the new Spanish restaurant that just opened up downtown for a new, interesting date idea.\\nTo find events in your area, read the newspaper, check online, or review social media events.\\nFor example, you can go to a concert on a Friday night, go to a Saturday farmer's market or craft show, or hit a gallery opening.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking Fun and Flirty\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be hygienic\", \"描述\": \"Shower daily, wash your face every day, and brush your teeth twice a day. Put on deodorant before you leave the house, and do your laundry every week or so. Doing these things will help you look and smell awesome so you can flirt with confidence.\\nIn addition, it’s a good idea to get a haircut every 4-6 weeks and cut your nails regularly.\\nShave 1 or more times a week to keep your skin smooth and touchable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress in clothes that make you feel confident and sexy.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to wear sexy clothing to feel confident and cute in your outfits. Pick a button-down, jeans, dress, skirt, or blouse that boosts your confidence. Fill your wardrobe with awesome items that make you feel great so you can feel fun and flirty in any outfit.\\nPut on a form-fitting white tee and a pair of tailored, dark-washed jeans for a casual yet playful look.\\nWear a pencil skirt with a cream-colored lace blouse for a feminine style that you can play up for work or for a night out.\\nIf you wear very revealing clothing, you may seem desperate rather than flirty. Be tasteful with the amount of visible cleavage, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick clothing or accessories that show off your neck.\", \"描述\": \"In particular, showing off your neck is a flirty gesture that may get the interest of your crush. Choose tops with a “V”-cut to show off your neckline, and try wearing a choker-style necklace to draw attention to your neck. This is an easy way to add a subtle flirty touch.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try cute and sexy hairstyles like tousled waves or a high ponytail.\", \"描述\": \"Styling your hair in a sexy way can instantly boost your confidence level. Tousled waves are flirty because they can mimic that sexy, bedhead style. High ponytails are fun because you can show off your facial features and neck. You can feel flirty and cute with nearly any hairstyles, but search online for inspiration if you want ideas.\\nTo make tousled waves, try braiding your hair and sleeping with them in to make instant curls. You can also use a curling iron to curl all of your hair. Then, use a blowdryer or your hands to tousle the curls into soft, relaxed waves.\\nFor a high ponytail, comb all of your hair back and grasp it at the crown of your head. Secure your hair with an elastic hair tie. It is helpful to spray a light, even layer of hairspray to reduce frizz or flyaway hairs.\\nFor a masculine, flirty style, try rubbing a dime-size amount of gel in your hands and running it through your hair. Comb your hair backward for a slicked-back, sleek style.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apply some makeup if you want to enhance and define your features.\", \"描述\": \"Use a dime-size amount of liquid foundation to cover your forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. Apply eyeliner and mascara to define your eyes. If you’d like, you can fill in your brows with an eyebrow pencil and dust some eyeshadow over your lids. Wear blush for a flushed, rosy glow, and add red lipstick or lip gloss for a kissable touch.\\nAdd more or less makeup, based on personal preference.\\nYou can also set your foundation with mineral setting powder so your makeup stays on all day.\\nDefining your eyes can help you feel sexy and confident, so you can easily make eye contact with cute passersby.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"To be fun and flirty, it’s important to be positive and feel confident, so work out for 20-30 minutes or longer every day if you can. Regular exercise keeps your body healthy, and it’s known to also boost mood and prevent depression. Do cardiovascular activities, such as running, hiking, or playing sports, to get your heart rate up.\\nYou can also jog on a treadmill, take a walk with your friends, or lift weights at the gym.\\nCreate an exercise schedule that works with your day-to-day life. If you can only go to the gym a couple times a week, that’s okay.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that you want the flirting to seem effortless and natural. Relax, don’t worry what others think, and be yourself rather than trying too hard to seem flirty.\\n\", \"Try not to be very sensitive to others' words or actions. This way, you can keep a lighthearted, carefree attitude.\\n\", \"Don't worry if it doesn't catch your crush's attention at first. They will eventually notice you and want to be your friend and maybe your girlfriend/boyfriend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't flirt with people that you aren't interested in. This could lead them on and hurt their feelings.\\n\", \"Avoid excessively bragging about yourself or only talking about yourself. While this may make you feel confident, it may be a turn-off for some people.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,745 | How to Be Fun at Parties | 1. Getting Yourself Ready
1-1. Psych yourself up
Put on some music while you get ready and start to put yourself in a party mood. Parties are meant to be fun, so you need to make sure you’ve got the right mindset. Don’t focus on the negatives or any nervousness that you may have. Instead, think about all the fun you’re going to have!
Play some energetic music to pump yourself up!
Dance around a bit to get your heart rate up and get excited about the party.
1-2. Pick out a fun and cute outfit to wear.
It is a party, after all! Choose an outfit that looks good and makes you feel good wearing it. You’ll be much more confident and fun if you feel good about your appearance.
Consider getting a new outfit for the party. Buying and wearing a brand new outfit would boost your confidence.
If you’re not sure if your outfit looks good, take a picture and send it to a friend to see what they think.
1-3. Get everything that you need ready to go ahead of time.
Avoid scrambling to find everything just before you head out for the party by organizing all of your necessities. Save yourself from panicking by packing your keys, phone, wallet, cash, purse, or anything else that you need to bring with you.
Get them all ready to go before you get dressed, that way, you can focus on getting yourself ready.
Make sure you have enough money to get home or get food if you need it later in the night.
Try to pack lightly so you don’t have to keep track of a lot of things at the party.
1-4. Get cleaned up for the party.
Practice good hygiene and get yourself feeling squeaky clean, fresh, and confident. Take a nice hot shower, brush your teeth, and fix your hair before you head out to the party. Nobody wants to party with someone who’s dirty and smelly!
Try a new hairstyle to make yourself appear more fun!
Put on some cologne or perfume so you smell nice.
Consider shaving for the party.
1-5. Practice talking to people in front of a mirror.
Make yourself feel more confident going to the party by simulating conversations that you think will take place. Watching yourself in a mirror allows you to see how you look when you talk, smile, and react to what other people are saying.
Try laughing so you can make sure you don’t look silly or dorky.
For example, you can try saying a few sample conversational lines like, “Hi! My name is (Your Name), what’s yours?” or “Nice party! How do you know (Party Host’s Name)?”
Pay attention to how you look when you smile and how you hold your hands when you gesture.
1-6. Touch base with friends who are going to the party.
A party is much more fun if you have friends there with you. It can help settle your nerves and get you excited to have fun at the party if you talk to some of your friends who will be there.
Ask your friends what they plan to wear so you can coordinate outfits together.
2. Interacting with People
2-1. Try to calm your nerves so you can engage people.
In order for you to be fun at a party, you need to be having fun at a party. If you’re a nervous wreck, you won’t want to talk to other people or participate in any of the activities of the party. Take a moment to calm your nerves before you start to interact with people at the party.
Take some deep breaths if you start to feel anxious.
Focus your thoughts on the present and the positive aspects of being at a fun party.
Consider getting a drink to loosen up.
2-2. Put your phone away when you get to the party.
You need to keep your phone on you in case someone is trying to contact you, but you don’t want to be glued to it and miss out on the party. People will also think that you’re disinterested and aren’t any fun. When you arrive, put your phone in your pocket or purse so you can have fun at the party.
Turn your ringer on loud so you can hear your phone.
Set your phone to vibrate if you don’t want your ringer to go off during the party and embarrass you.
2-3. Make eye contact
Give people your full attention when they’re talking to you so they know you’re listening to them. If you’re constantly looking around the party while someone is answering you, then they’ll think that you’re rude and you don’t care about what they have to say.
People will think that you’re more fun if they feel like you like them and value their opinions.
2-4. Tell jokes
Jokes are an easy way to break the ice and get people comfortable around you. People will have more fun if they’re relaxed and loose. Don’t be afraid to make jokes at your own expense, either. It shows people that you’re silly and fun.
Try making cheesy impressions of people at the party, but don’t tease people too much or hurt their feelings.
Tell the corniest joke or most awful pun that you know.
2-5. Ask people questions about themselves.
People love to talk about themselves, so an easy way to get them talking to and having fun with you is to simply let them do it. Whether you’re on the dance floor, next to the chips and dip, or even away from the music, asking someone at the party about their life and what they like to do for fun is a surefire way to make yourself fun.
You can start with basic questions like, “So, what do you do for a living?” That will usually get the ball rolling and allows you to ask follow-up questions.
If a song is playing, ask them if they know the song or like the music. Even if they don’t like it, it gets a conversation started.
Try asking something personal and specific like, “What is your biggest fear?” People may get a kick out an engaging question as opposed to the small talk that often occurs at parties.
2-6. Move around the party to talk to more people.
Visit all of the different spaces of the party and talk to the different people and groups of people. If you stand in one spot or section of the party, you’ll limit the people you meet and the fun that you have.
People will remember you if you work your way around the party to have fun with them.
Ignore the impulse to stay in one spot with familiar people and get out of your comfort zone to have a little fun!
2-7. Try not to drink too much.
It’s a party, you should have fun, but be sure to drink in moderation. Alcohol is a great way to loosen people up and have fun, but nobody likes a sloppy drunk person at a party. Be sure to drink plenty of water in addition to any alcohol that you consume.
3. Doing Fun Activities
3-1. Challenge someone to a dance-off.
If you hear a song that you like or is popular, ask the people around you to dance. People may be hesitant at first, but if you get really into it and are having fun, they will want to join you. Don’t be afraid to take the first step!
Choose a song that has choreography that many people know. For example, you can play “La Macarena” by Los Del Rio or “Footloose” and have people do the movements. If they don’t know them, you can teach them!
3-2. Play a drinking game.
Many parties will have alcoholic drinks being served so you can kick the party up a notch by initiating a drinking game. People will quickly loosen up and have fun once they start playing and drinking.
Start up a game of beer pong. Even if you don’t have a super long table, you can still have some fun and a little friendly competition.
Use a deck of cards to play king’s cup with a bunch of players.
Make up your own drinking game. For example, if there’s a movie playing, make up a game related to the movie. You could have everyone drink whenever there’s a close-up shot or a kiss.
3-3. Initiate a party game and try to get people to play.
If you spot a game of Twister on the shelf or you see a video game console set up, ask people to play a game with you. The host of the party may have set up some fun party games to play, so take advantage of them and be the life of the party by getting people to participate.
Try a classic game like charades if you don’t have any gaming supplies.
Play “Never Have I Ever.” One person says something that they haven’t done, and if the other players have done it, they have to take a sip of their drink. For example, you could say, “Never have I ever kissed a fish.” If someone else has, then they have to drink!
If people are hesitant at first, no problem! Just start playing around and when people see how much fun you’re having, they’ll join in!
3-4. Do a party trick that you know.
If you have some weird or interesting skill or ability, use it to impress or get a laugh from people at the party. Party tricks can be cheesy, but that’s kind of the point. Have fun and show people any weird ability or silly trick that you know.
Try a card trick to impress people.
Do some simple magic tricks to wow and intrigue people at the party.
For example, if you can curl or roll your tongue, ask people if they can do it and then show them how you can!
3-5. Bring snacks for people to eat.
Everyone loves food, so bringing some tasty snacks is a great way for you be fun and engage people. Put out your snacks when you arrive and while you’re at the party talking to new people, ask them if they’ve tried the snacks yet. Then tell them you made or brought them!
Make a cheese or a spinach dip to bring with you. Tell people they should try it!
Bring some healthy snacks for people to eat as well.
Try making a vegan queso dip to give people a vegan option.
Warnings
Please drink responsibly. If you do drink, designate a driver or use a ride-sharing app to get home safely.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Yourself Ready\\n1-1. Psych yourself up\\nPut on some music while you get ready and start to put yourself in a party mood. Parties are meant to be fun, so you need to make sure you’ve got the right mindset. Don’t focus on the negatives or any nervousness that you may have. Instead, think about all the fun you’re going to have!\\nPlay some energetic music to pump yourself up!\\nDance around a bit to get your heart rate up and get excited about the party.\\n1-2. Pick out a fun and cute outfit to wear.\\nIt is a party, after all! Choose an outfit that looks good and makes you feel good wearing it. You’ll be much more confident and fun if you feel good about your appearance.\\nConsider getting a new outfit for the party. Buying and wearing a brand new outfit would boost your confidence.\\nIf you’re not sure if your outfit looks good, take a picture and send it to a friend to see what they think.\\n1-3. Get everything that you need ready to go ahead of time.\\nAvoid scrambling to find everything just before you head out for the party by organizing all of your necessities. Save yourself from panicking by packing your keys, phone, wallet, cash, purse, or anything else that you need to bring with you.\\nGet them all ready to go before you get dressed, that way, you can focus on getting yourself ready.\\nMake sure you have enough money to get home or get food if you need it later in the night.\\nTry to pack lightly so you don’t have to keep track of a lot of things at the party.\\n1-4. Get cleaned up for the party.\\nPractice good hygiene and get yourself feeling squeaky clean, fresh, and confident. Take a nice hot shower, brush your teeth, and fix your hair before you head out to the party. Nobody wants to party with someone who’s dirty and smelly!\\nTry a new hairstyle to make yourself appear more fun!\\nPut on some cologne or perfume so you smell nice.\\nConsider shaving for the party.\\n1-5. Practice talking to people in front of a mirror.\\nMake yourself feel more confident going to the party by simulating conversations that you think will take place. Watching yourself in a mirror allows you to see how you look when you talk, smile, and react to what other people are saying.\\nTry laughing so you can make sure you don’t look silly or dorky.\\nFor example, you can try saying a few sample conversational lines like, “Hi! My name is (Your Name), what’s yours?” or “Nice party! How do you know (Party Host’s Name)?”\\nPay attention to how you look when you smile and how you hold your hands when you gesture.\\n1-6. Touch base with friends who are going to the party.\\nA party is much more fun if you have friends there with you. It can help settle your nerves and get you excited to have fun at the party if you talk to some of your friends who will be there.\\nAsk your friends what they plan to wear so you can coordinate outfits together.\\n2. Interacting with People\\n2-1. Try to calm your nerves so you can engage people.\\nIn order for you to be fun at a party, you need to be having fun at a party. If you’re a nervous wreck, you won’t want to talk to other people or participate in any of the activities of the party. Take a moment to calm your nerves before you start to interact with people at the party.\\nTake some deep breaths if you start to feel anxious.\\nFocus your thoughts on the present and the positive aspects of being at a fun party.\\nConsider getting a drink to loosen up.\\n2-2. Put your phone away when you get to the party.\\nYou need to keep your phone on you in case someone is trying to contact you, but you don’t want to be glued to it and miss out on the party. People will also think that you’re disinterested and aren’t any fun. When you arrive, put your phone in your pocket or purse so you can have fun at the party.\\nTurn your ringer on loud so you can hear your phone.\\nSet your phone to vibrate if you don’t want your ringer to go off during the party and embarrass you.\\n2-3. Make eye contact\\nGive people your full attention when they’re talking to you so they know you’re listening to them. If you’re constantly looking around the party while someone is answering you, then they’ll think that you’re rude and you don’t care about what they have to say.\\nPeople will think that you’re more fun if they feel like you like them and value their opinions.\\n2-4. Tell jokes\\nJokes are an easy way to break the ice and get people comfortable around you. People will have more fun if they’re relaxed and loose. Don’t be afraid to make jokes at your own expense, either. It shows people that you’re silly and fun.\\nTry making cheesy impressions of people at the party, but don’t tease people too much or hurt their feelings.\\nTell the corniest joke or most awful pun that you know.\\n2-5. Ask people questions about themselves.\\nPeople love to talk about themselves, so an easy way to get them talking to and having fun with you is to simply let them do it. Whether you’re on the dance floor, next to the chips and dip, or even away from the music, asking someone at the party about their life and what they like to do for fun is a surefire way to make yourself fun.\\nYou can start with basic questions like, “So, what do you do for a living?” That will usually get the ball rolling and allows you to ask follow-up questions.\\nIf a song is playing, ask them if they know the song or like the music. Even if they don’t like it, it gets a conversation started.\\nTry asking something personal and specific like, “What is your biggest fear?” People may get a kick out an engaging question as opposed to the small talk that often occurs at parties.\\n2-6. Move around the party to talk to more people.\\nVisit all of the different spaces of the party and talk to the different people and groups of people. If you stand in one spot or section of the party, you’ll limit the people you meet and the fun that you have.\\nPeople will remember you if you work your way around the party to have fun with them.\\nIgnore the impulse to stay in one spot with familiar people and get out of your comfort zone to have a little fun!\\n2-7. Try not to drink too much.\\nIt’s a party, you should have fun, but be sure to drink in moderation. Alcohol is a great way to loosen people up and have fun, but nobody likes a sloppy drunk person at a party. Be sure to drink plenty of water in addition to any alcohol that you consume.\\n3. Doing Fun Activities\\n3-1. Challenge someone to a dance-off.\\nIf you hear a song that you like or is popular, ask the people around you to dance. People may be hesitant at first, but if you get really into it and are having fun, they will want to join you. Don’t be afraid to take the first step!\\nChoose a song that has choreography that many people know. For example, you can play “La Macarena” by Los Del Rio or “Footloose” and have people do the movements. If they don’t know them, you can teach them!\\n3-2. Play a drinking game.\\nMany parties will have alcoholic drinks being served so you can kick the party up a notch by initiating a drinking game. People will quickly loosen up and have fun once they start playing and drinking.\\nStart up a game of beer pong. Even if you don’t have a super long table, you can still have some fun and a little friendly competition.\\nUse a deck of cards to play king’s cup with a bunch of players.\\nMake up your own drinking game. For example, if there’s a movie playing, make up a game related to the movie. You could have everyone drink whenever there’s a close-up shot or a kiss.\\n3-3. Initiate a party game and try to get people to play.\\nIf you spot a game of Twister on the shelf or you see a video game console set up, ask people to play a game with you. The host of the party may have set up some fun party games to play, so take advantage of them and be the life of the party by getting people to participate.\\nTry a classic game like charades if you don’t have any gaming supplies.\\nPlay “Never Have I Ever.” One person says something that they haven’t done, and if the other players have done it, they have to take a sip of their drink. For example, you could say, “Never have I ever kissed a fish.” If someone else has, then they have to drink!\\nIf people are hesitant at first, no problem! Just start playing around and when people see how much fun you’re having, they’ll join in!\\n3-4. Do a party trick that you know.\\nIf you have some weird or interesting skill or ability, use it to impress or get a laugh from people at the party. Party tricks can be cheesy, but that’s kind of the point. Have fun and show people any weird ability or silly trick that you know.\\nTry a card trick to impress people.\\nDo some simple magic tricks to wow and intrigue people at the party.\\nFor example, if you can curl or roll your tongue, ask people if they can do it and then show them how you can!\\n3-5. Bring snacks for people to eat.\\nEveryone loves food, so bringing some tasty snacks is a great way for you be fun and engage people. Put out your snacks when you arrive and while you’re at the party talking to new people, ask them if they’ve tried the snacks yet. Then tell them you made or brought them!\\nMake a cheese or a spinach dip to bring with you. Tell people they should try it!\\nBring some healthy snacks for people to eat as well.\\nTry making a vegan queso dip to give people a vegan option.\\nWarnings\\nPlease drink responsibly. If you do drink, designate a driver or use a ride-sharing app to get home safely.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Even though parties are supposed to fun, they can sometimes feel tedious or overwhelming. Luckily, there are things you can do to make yourself be more fun at a party. It starts by getting yourself mentally and physically ready for a party. Once you get yourself to the party, have fun by interacting with other people and participating (or even initiating) fun party activities. Most importantly, be yourself, relax, and have fun!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Yourself Ready\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Psych yourself up\", \"描述\": \"Put on some music while you get ready and start to put yourself in a party mood. Parties are meant to be fun, so you need to make sure you’ve got the right mindset. Don’t focus on the negatives or any nervousness that you may have. Instead, think about all the fun you’re going to have!\\nPlay some energetic music to pump yourself up!\\nDance around a bit to get your heart rate up and get excited about the party.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick out a fun and cute outfit to wear.\", \"描述\": \"It is a party, after all! Choose an outfit that looks good and makes you feel good wearing it. You’ll be much more confident and fun if you feel good about your appearance.\\nConsider getting a new outfit for the party. Buying and wearing a brand new outfit would boost your confidence.\\nIf you’re not sure if your outfit looks good, take a picture and send it to a friend to see what they think.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get everything that you need ready to go ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid scrambling to find everything just before you head out for the party by organizing all of your necessities. Save yourself from panicking by packing your keys, phone, wallet, cash, purse, or anything else that you need to bring with you.\\nGet them all ready to go before you get dressed, that way, you can focus on getting yourself ready.\\nMake sure you have enough money to get home or get food if you need it later in the night.\\nTry to pack lightly so you don’t have to keep track of a lot of things at the party.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get cleaned up for the party.\", \"描述\": \"Practice good hygiene and get yourself feeling squeaky clean, fresh, and confident. Take a nice hot shower, brush your teeth, and fix your hair before you head out to the party. Nobody wants to party with someone who’s dirty and smelly!\\nTry a new hairstyle to make yourself appear more fun!\\nPut on some cologne or perfume so you smell nice.\\nConsider shaving for the party.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice talking to people in front of a mirror.\", \"描述\": \"Make yourself feel more confident going to the party by simulating conversations that you think will take place. Watching yourself in a mirror allows you to see how you look when you talk, smile, and react to what other people are saying.\\nTry laughing so you can make sure you don’t look silly or dorky.\\nFor example, you can try saying a few sample conversational lines like, “Hi! My name is (Your Name), what’s yours?” or “Nice party! How do you know (Party Host’s Name)?”\\nPay attention to how you look when you smile and how you hold your hands when you gesture.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Touch base with friends who are going to the party.\", \"描述\": \"A party is much more fun if you have friends there with you. It can help settle your nerves and get you excited to have fun at the party if you talk to some of your friends who will be there.\\nAsk your friends what they plan to wear so you can coordinate outfits together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to calm your nerves so you can engage people.\", \"描述\": \"In order for you to be fun at a party, you need to be having fun at a party. If you’re a nervous wreck, you won’t want to talk to other people or participate in any of the activities of the party. Take a moment to calm your nerves before you start to interact with people at the party.\\nTake some deep breaths if you start to feel anxious.\\nFocus your thoughts on the present and the positive aspects of being at a fun party.\\nConsider getting a drink to loosen up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put your phone away when you get to the party.\", \"描述\": \"You need to keep your phone on you in case someone is trying to contact you, but you don’t want to be glued to it and miss out on the party. People will also think that you’re disinterested and aren’t any fun. When you arrive, put your phone in your pocket or purse so you can have fun at the party.\\nTurn your ringer on loud so you can hear your phone.\\nSet your phone to vibrate if you don’t want your ringer to go off during the party and embarrass you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact\", \"描述\": \"Give people your full attention when they’re talking to you so they know you’re listening to them. If you’re constantly looking around the party while someone is answering you, then they’ll think that you’re rude and you don’t care about what they have to say.\\nPeople will think that you’re more fun if they feel like you like them and value their opinions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell jokes\", \"描述\": \"Jokes are an easy way to break the ice and get people comfortable around you. People will have more fun if they’re relaxed and loose. Don’t be afraid to make jokes at your own expense, either. It shows people that you’re silly and fun.\\nTry making cheesy impressions of people at the party, but don’t tease people too much or hurt their feelings.\\nTell the corniest joke or most awful pun that you know.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask people questions about themselves.\", \"描述\": \"People love to talk about themselves, so an easy way to get them talking to and having fun with you is to simply let them do it. Whether you’re on the dance floor, next to the chips and dip, or even away from the music, asking someone at the party about their life and what they like to do for fun is a surefire way to make yourself fun.\\nYou can start with basic questions like, “So, what do you do for a living?” That will usually get the ball rolling and allows you to ask follow-up questions.\\nIf a song is playing, ask them if they know the song or like the music. Even if they don’t like it, it gets a conversation started.\\nTry asking something personal and specific like, “What is your biggest fear?” People may get a kick out an engaging question as opposed to the small talk that often occurs at parties.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Move around the party to talk to more people.\", \"描述\": \"Visit all of the different spaces of the party and talk to the different people and groups of people. If you stand in one spot or section of the party, you’ll limit the people you meet and the fun that you have.\\nPeople will remember you if you work your way around the party to have fun with them.\\nIgnore the impulse to stay in one spot with familiar people and get out of your comfort zone to have a little fun!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try not to drink too much.\", \"描述\": \"It’s a party, you should have fun, but be sure to drink in moderation. Alcohol is a great way to loosen people up and have fun, but nobody likes a sloppy drunk person at a party. Be sure to drink plenty of water in addition to any alcohol that you consume.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Doing Fun Activities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Challenge someone to a dance-off.\", \"描述\": \"If you hear a song that you like or is popular, ask the people around you to dance. People may be hesitant at first, but if you get really into it and are having fun, they will want to join you. Don’t be afraid to take the first step!\\nChoose a song that has choreography that many people know. For example, you can play “La Macarena” by Los Del Rio or “Footloose” and have people do the movements. If they don’t know them, you can teach them!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play a drinking game.\", \"描述\": \"Many parties will have alcoholic drinks being served so you can kick the party up a notch by initiating a drinking game. People will quickly loosen up and have fun once they start playing and drinking.\\nStart up a game of beer pong. Even if you don’t have a super long table, you can still have some fun and a little friendly competition.\\nUse a deck of cards to play king’s cup with a bunch of players.\\nMake up your own drinking game. For example, if there’s a movie playing, make up a game related to the movie. You could have everyone drink whenever there’s a close-up shot or a kiss.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Initiate a party game and try to get people to play.\", \"描述\": \"If you spot a game of Twister on the shelf or you see a video game console set up, ask people to play a game with you. The host of the party may have set up some fun party games to play, so take advantage of them and be the life of the party by getting people to participate.\\nTry a classic game like charades if you don’t have any gaming supplies.\\nPlay “Never Have I Ever.” One person says something that they haven’t done, and if the other players have done it, they have to take a sip of their drink. For example, you could say, “Never have I ever kissed a fish.” If someone else has, then they have to drink!\\nIf people are hesitant at first, no problem! Just start playing around and when people see how much fun you’re having, they’ll join in!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do a party trick that you know.\", \"描述\": \"If you have some weird or interesting skill or ability, use it to impress or get a laugh from people at the party. Party tricks can be cheesy, but that’s kind of the point. Have fun and show people any weird ability or silly trick that you know.\\nTry a card trick to impress people.\\nDo some simple magic tricks to wow and intrigue people at the party.\\nFor example, if you can curl or roll your tongue, ask people if they can do it and then show them how you can!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Bring snacks for people to eat.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves food, so bringing some tasty snacks is a great way for you be fun and engage people. Put out your snacks when you arrive and while you’re at the party talking to new people, ask them if they’ve tried the snacks yet. Then tell them you made or brought them!\\nMake a cheese or a spinach dip to bring with you. Tell people they should try it!\\nBring some healthy snacks for people to eat as well.\\nTry making a vegan queso dip to give people a vegan option.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Please drink responsibly. If you do drink, designate a driver or use a ride-sharing app to get home safely.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,746 | How to Be Fun to Be With | 1. Being Fun
1-1. Relax.
People like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends, and always ready to have fun. You want to give off the vibe that you’re comfortable with goofing around and also letting others have a good time. So chill out and you'll make everyone else chilled out, too.
Give people a quick compliment. This will show them that you care and that you’re paying attention.
Laugh a lot. Have open, relaxed, body language. Show people that you’re up for anything.
Try to loosen up as much as possible. If you're tense, your friends will be too. Cut loose!
1-2. Pay attention to your friends.
Make eye contact, put away your phone, and make people around you feel important. If you look distracted and like you have a million other things on your mind, then people won’t be able to let loose and have fun around you.
Look at people with approval. Don’t make them think you’re condescending or judging them, or they’ll be much less likely to open up around you.
1-3. Crack lots of jokes.
If you're unafraid of how silly or ridiculous you look, people will want to hang around you. Here are some ways you can be a total goofball:
Do your best (or worst) impression of someone you all know, whether it’s a teacher or a coworker.
Dance like a complete fool, pretending like you think you’re the best dancer ever.
Sing the words to your favorite embarrassing song.
Wear a ridiculous outfit, or a graphic tee with a silly message.
Don’t be afraid to tell a corny joke or make a silly pun.
1-4. Go on adventures.
If you've never done something before, that's a good reason to try it! Be spontaneous and try something new instead of making excuses. If you're the one coming up with the fun ideas to try new things, your friends will think you're fun to be around.
Say "yes" more. Instead of saying, “No, because…” try to embrace new challenges and try new things.
Check out the last section for some ideas about fun things to do with your friends.
1-5. Keep things positive.
Though we all have our bad days, you should focus on talking about the good things in your life and the things you have to look forward to instead of the annoying little things that upset you. This sets a positive tone for your social interactions and makes people want to be around you more.
If you catch yourself saying something negative, try to counter your comment with two positive comments.
If the people around you are bummed out, then you should work on trying to cheer them up instead of sinking down to their level.
You don’t have to completely fake it and plaster a fake smile on your face if you had a terrible day. However, you should make an effort to be more positive if you’re just mildly annoyed or if you know that whatever is bothering you isn’t a big deal.
If you're having a really bad day, just mention it and move forward with a positive comment. Say, "Today's been rough, but I'm staying positive!"
1-6. Bring your friends together.
In a group, try to make sure that most people like each other or at least get to know each other. Be a uniter, making the people around you bond and become closer with each other, even if it’s at your expense.
Be subtle about it. If you’re with two people who feel like they have nothing in common, bring up a mutual interest that can help them bond.
If you have two friends who don’t really get along, mention nice things about one person to the other that will make them more likely to get along.
Help people bond by suggesting fun activities that everyone can agree on, such as bowling or playing Red Rover. The more fun the activity, the better.
2. Saying the Right Thing
2-1. Ask people lots of entertaining questions.
Get conversations started. You don’t have to pry too much to ask some fun conversation starter questions and to make people feel comfortable and happy about opening up. Here are some things you can ask people about:
An embarrassing moment they had as a kid
A funny comedy sketch or show they saw recently
A time when they really messed up or got in trouble
A time when their first impressions were completely wrong
The strangest place they ever visited
2-2. Don’t complain too much.
Unless your rants are funny, it's best to keep things positive. Nobody likes a complainer or a downer. This can make your friends think that you’re no fun at all. If something is really bothering you, then write it down or tell a close friend, but avoid complaining loudly in a group setting if you want to be fun.
Don't let other people complain too much, either. If other people around you are complaining too much, try to poke fun at the topic and steer the conversation in a more positive direction that is more likely to make people have fun.
2-3. Open up with people.
Fun people are comfortable with themselves and are happy to share personal experiences and ideas. If you open up, then the people around you will be more likely to open up, too, and you’ll create an environment that is more fun and welcoming. Here are some things you can open up about:
Funny moments in your childhood
A time when you made a fool of yourself
A botched attempt at romance
Your relationship with a friend or relative who always cracks you up
A ridiculous summer job you once had
A blind date that went poorly
2-4. Make fun of yourself.
Don't take yourself too seriously. If this means you have to open yourself to being the butt of a few jokes or clown around a bit, it can be a good time. Doing this will make other people more likely to loosen up a bit, also leading to a more fun situation.
Tell a funny story about something you did earlier that day that could make other people crack up. If you made an awkward comment, spilled coffee all over yourself, or made people stare at you for some reason, share the story all in good fun.
If you trip or say something ridiculous by accident, don’t act all flustered, like you’re worried about looking like a weirdo. Instead, laugh at yourself and say something along the lines of, “There I go again!”
3. Doing Fun Things
3-1. Meet new people.
Whether you’re introducing yourself to a cute barista or just meeting some new interesting people at a coffee shop, the key to being fun is being up for whatever a new person has to say. This is the only way to open up yourself to new people and experiences and to have even more fun in the process.
Even if the person is completely different from you, you should have fun and embrace those differences instead of just staying in your comfort zone.
Every person has something to teach you and the more people you know, the more knowledge you can gain. Don’t ever look at a new person as not a worthy investment or a waste of your time.
Just say hi, introduce yourself, and ask the person a question or two about himself. You can keep the tone lighthearted as you get to know the person better.
3-2. Explore a new part of your city or neighborhood.
Be on the lookout for fun new activities in the place where you live, whether it’s a bocce tournament, a folk singing competition, or a vegan food festival. Search for new opportunities in new part of your town you haven’t seen before and invite your friends to join you, seeing it all as a new adventure.
If the event makes you feel completely out of your comfort zone, whether it’s a pig roast or a poetry slam, then all the better. Think of all of the new and exciting people you can meet when you try something that feels completely different to you.
Encourage your friends to be adventurous with you. Let them know that it’s fun to try something new.
3-3. Step out of your comfort zone.
Whether you try to learn a new language or run a 5K, trying to push yourself to try new and exciting things will make you a more fun person. The more things you know how to do, the more dynamic of a person you’ll be, which means the more experiences you’ll have to share with the people around you. Try the following:
Juggling
Ballroom, hip-hop, or belly dancing
Making pasta from scratch
Taking an improv or theatre class
Learn basic gymnastics tricks
Learn card tricks
Learn to read tarot cards
3-4. Dance even if you don’t know how.
Whether you’re dancing by yourself like a goofball at a party, hitting the dance floor with your friends to do a coordinated dance you don’t quite know how to do, or moving around the dance floor with your partner, the most important thing is that you put yourself out there and have fun.
If you flail your limbs, belt out the lyrics to your favorite song, and toss your hair back, then other people will be having fun around you.
Encourage people to come out on the dance floor with you. Drag your wallflower friends out and show them how much fun they can have.
3-5. Conquer your fears.
Whether you’re afraid of heights, clowns, or tiny dogs, spend some time trying to work through your fear and to step out stronger on the other side. You’ll be surprised by what you’re capable of.
Make a habit of accepting more invitations to do new things. Though you may have been turning down your friend who is an avid hiker or avid oil painter because you’ve never tried these activities, you should say yes and see how much you can do the next time.
The next time you’re out at a party or social gathering, scan the crowd for the person you think you’ll have the least in common with. Introduce yourself to that person to see how much you’ll learn.
If someone at a show asks for a volunteer, don’t be afraid to raise your hand. Get loud and crazy at your favorite concert. Wear a crazy outfit that makes you feel good. Sign up to sing your favorite karaoke song even if you’re tone deaf. Throw a ridiculous themed party. Be fun!
Tips
Treat people in the way that you would like to be treated.[12]
X
Research source
Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors.[13]
X
Research source
These aid nobody and can damage your reputation as someone who is easy and fun to be around. It's hard to have fun when you think someone is just going to turn around and tell tales on you.
Do not over do it with your jokes, you may hurt someone's feelings.[14]
X
Research source
Warnings
Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. It's good to laugh at yourself, though. You have to in order to stay happy through your mistakes and failures.
Don't alienate your own current friends because they are the best ones you have. Keep them in your life too or they WILL be offended.
Don't only pay attention to being fun. You need to keep a more serious side and let it show at appropriate times too. If your friend is asking you for support through hard times, you need to take that as your responsibility and show them that you're a friend worth keeping. Same thing goes with your parents--show them that you deserve more freedom by trusting what they say and being responsible.
Don't try to make people think you are fun. It comes off as phony and pushy.
Be aware that the kind of fun you're having is healthy, legal, and doesn't cause anyone any harm, including yourself.
If you are really close, obvious flirtatious teasing is all right. But if you are just getting to know someone, start off polite.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Fun\\n1-1. Relax.\\nPeople like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends, and always ready to have fun. You want to give off the vibe that you’re comfortable with goofing around and also letting others have a good time. So chill out and you'll make everyone else chilled out, too.\\nGive people a quick compliment. This will show them that you care and that you’re paying attention.\\nLaugh a lot. Have open, relaxed, body language. Show people that you’re up for anything.\\nTry to loosen up as much as possible. If you're tense, your friends will be too. Cut loose!\\n1-2. Pay attention to your friends.\\nMake eye contact, put away your phone, and make people around you feel important. If you look distracted and like you have a million other things on your mind, then people won’t be able to let loose and have fun around you.\\nLook at people with approval. Don’t make them think you’re condescending or judging them, or they’ll be much less likely to open up around you.\\n1-3. Crack lots of jokes.\\nIf you're unafraid of how silly or ridiculous you look, people will want to hang around you. Here are some ways you can be a total goofball:\\nDo your best (or worst) impression of someone you all know, whether it’s a teacher or a coworker.\\nDance like a complete fool, pretending like you think you’re the best dancer ever.\\nSing the words to your favorite embarrassing song.\\nWear a ridiculous outfit, or a graphic tee with a silly message.\\nDon’t be afraid to tell a corny joke or make a silly pun.\\n1-4. Go on adventures.\\nIf you've never done something before, that's a good reason to try it! Be spontaneous and try something new instead of making excuses. If you're the one coming up with the fun ideas to try new things, your friends will think you're fun to be around.\\nSay \\\"yes\\\" more. Instead of saying, “No, because…” try to embrace new challenges and try new things.\\nCheck out the last section for some ideas about fun things to do with your friends.\\n1-5. Keep things positive.\\nThough we all have our bad days, you should focus on talking about the good things in your life and the things you have to look forward to instead of the annoying little things that upset you. This sets a positive tone for your social interactions and makes people want to be around you more.\\nIf you catch yourself saying something negative, try to counter your comment with two positive comments.\\nIf the people around you are bummed out, then you should work on trying to cheer them up instead of sinking down to their level.\\nYou don’t have to completely fake it and plaster a fake smile on your face if you had a terrible day. However, you should make an effort to be more positive if you’re just mildly annoyed or if you know that whatever is bothering you isn’t a big deal.\\nIf you're having a really bad day, just mention it and move forward with a positive comment. Say, \\\"Today's been rough, but I'm staying positive!\\\"\\n1-6. Bring your friends together.\\nIn a group, try to make sure that most people like each other or at least get to know each other. Be a uniter, making the people around you bond and become closer with each other, even if it’s at your expense.\\nBe subtle about it. If you’re with two people who feel like they have nothing in common, bring up a mutual interest that can help them bond.\\nIf you have two friends who don’t really get along, mention nice things about one person to the other that will make them more likely to get along.\\nHelp people bond by suggesting fun activities that everyone can agree on, such as bowling or playing Red Rover. The more fun the activity, the better.\\n2. Saying the Right Thing\\n2-1. Ask people lots of entertaining questions.\\nGet conversations started. You don’t have to pry too much to ask some fun conversation starter questions and to make people feel comfortable and happy about opening up. Here are some things you can ask people about:\\nAn embarrassing moment they had as a kid\\nA funny comedy sketch or show they saw recently\\nA time when they really messed up or got in trouble\\nA time when their first impressions were completely wrong\\nThe strangest place they ever visited\\n2-2. Don’t complain too much.\\nUnless your rants are funny, it's best to keep things positive. Nobody likes a complainer or a downer. This can make your friends think that you’re no fun at all. If something is really bothering you, then write it down or tell a close friend, but avoid complaining loudly in a group setting if you want to be fun.\\nDon't let other people complain too much, either. If other people around you are complaining too much, try to poke fun at the topic and steer the conversation in a more positive direction that is more likely to make people have fun.\\n2-3. Open up with people.\\nFun people are comfortable with themselves and are happy to share personal experiences and ideas. If you open up, then the people around you will be more likely to open up, too, and you’ll create an environment that is more fun and welcoming. Here are some things you can open up about:\\nFunny moments in your childhood\\nA time when you made a fool of yourself\\nA botched attempt at romance\\nYour relationship with a friend or relative who always cracks you up\\nA ridiculous summer job you once had\\nA blind date that went poorly\\n2-4. Make fun of yourself.\\nDon't take yourself too seriously. If this means you have to open yourself to being the butt of a few jokes or clown around a bit, it can be a good time. Doing this will make other people more likely to loosen up a bit, also leading to a more fun situation.\\nTell a funny story about something you did earlier that day that could make other people crack up. If you made an awkward comment, spilled coffee all over yourself, or made people stare at you for some reason, share the story all in good fun.\\nIf you trip or say something ridiculous by accident, don’t act all flustered, like you’re worried about looking like a weirdo. Instead, laugh at yourself and say something along the lines of, “There I go again!”\\n3. Doing Fun Things\\n3-1. Meet new people.\\nWhether you’re introducing yourself to a cute barista or just meeting some new interesting people at a coffee shop, the key to being fun is being up for whatever a new person has to say. This is the only way to open up yourself to new people and experiences and to have even more fun in the process.\\nEven if the person is completely different from you, you should have fun and embrace those differences instead of just staying in your comfort zone.\\nEvery person has something to teach you and the more people you know, the more knowledge you can gain. Don’t ever look at a new person as not a worthy investment or a waste of your time.\\nJust say hi, introduce yourself, and ask the person a question or two about himself. You can keep the tone lighthearted as you get to know the person better.\\n3-2. Explore a new part of your city or neighborhood.\\nBe on the lookout for fun new activities in the place where you live, whether it’s a bocce tournament, a folk singing competition, or a vegan food festival. Search for new opportunities in new part of your town you haven’t seen before and invite your friends to join you, seeing it all as a new adventure.\\nIf the event makes you feel completely out of your comfort zone, whether it’s a pig roast or a poetry slam, then all the better. Think of all of the new and exciting people you can meet when you try something that feels completely different to you.\\nEncourage your friends to be adventurous with you. Let them know that it’s fun to try something new.\\n3-3. Step out of your comfort zone.\\nWhether you try to learn a new language or run a 5K, trying to push yourself to try new and exciting things will make you a more fun person. The more things you know how to do, the more dynamic of a person you’ll be, which means the more experiences you’ll have to share with the people around you. Try the following:\\nJuggling\\nBallroom, hip-hop, or belly dancing\\nMaking pasta from scratch\\nTaking an improv or theatre class\\nLearn basic gymnastics tricks\\nLearn card tricks\\nLearn to read tarot cards\\n3-4. Dance even if you don’t know how.\\nWhether you’re dancing by yourself like a goofball at a party, hitting the dance floor with your friends to do a coordinated dance you don’t quite know how to do, or moving around the dance floor with your partner, the most important thing is that you put yourself out there and have fun.\\nIf you flail your limbs, belt out the lyrics to your favorite song, and toss your hair back, then other people will be having fun around you.\\nEncourage people to come out on the dance floor with you. Drag your wallflower friends out and show them how much fun they can have.\\n3-5. Conquer your fears.\\nWhether you’re afraid of heights, clowns, or tiny dogs, spend some time trying to work through your fear and to step out stronger on the other side. You’ll be surprised by what you’re capable of.\\nMake a habit of accepting more invitations to do new things. Though you may have been turning down your friend who is an avid hiker or avid oil painter because you’ve never tried these activities, you should say yes and see how much you can do the next time.\\nThe next time you’re out at a party or social gathering, scan the crowd for the person you think you’ll have the least in common with. Introduce yourself to that person to see how much you’ll learn.\\nIf someone at a show asks for a volunteer, don’t be afraid to raise your hand. Get loud and crazy at your favorite concert. Wear a crazy outfit that makes you feel good. Sign up to sing your favorite karaoke song even if you’re tone deaf. Throw a ridiculous themed party. Be fun!\\nTips\\nTreat people in the way that you would like to be treated.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAvoid gossiping or spreading rumors.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n These aid nobody and can damage your reputation as someone who is easy and fun to be around. It's hard to have fun when you think someone is just going to turn around and tell tales on you.\\nDo not over do it with your jokes, you may hurt someone's feelings.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nDon't laugh at people. Laugh with them. It's good to laugh at yourself, though. You have to in order to stay happy through your mistakes and failures.\\nDon't alienate your own current friends because they are the best ones you have. Keep them in your life too or they WILL be offended.\\nDon't only pay attention to being fun. You need to keep a more serious side and let it show at appropriate times too. If your friend is asking you for support through hard times, you need to take that as your responsibility and show them that you're a friend worth keeping. Same thing goes with your parents--show them that you deserve more freedom by trusting what they say and being responsible.\\nDon't try to make people think you are fun. It comes off as phony and pushy.\\nBe aware that the kind of fun you're having is healthy, legal, and doesn't cause anyone any harm, including yourself.\\nIf you are really close, obvious flirtatious teasing is all right. But if you are just getting to know someone, start off polite.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have people called you a wet blanket, a stick in the mud, or a drag? Do you feel like you just don’t know how to make a social situation more entertaining? If this sounds like you, then don’t worry—all you have to do is work on being more agreeable around other people, be open to poking some fun at yourself, and to get ready for the next adventure. If you make a real effort, then people will go from thinking you’re a drag to calling you the life of the party.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Fun\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Relax.\", \"描述\": \"People like to feel safe and comfortable with their friends, and always ready to have fun. You want to give off the vibe that you’re comfortable with goofing around and also letting others have a good time. So chill out and you'll make everyone else chilled out, too.\\nGive people a quick compliment. This will show them that you care and that you’re paying attention.\\nLaugh a lot. Have open, relaxed, body language. Show people that you’re up for anything.\\nTry to loosen up as much as possible. If you're tense, your friends will be too. Cut loose!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Make eye contact, put away your phone, and make people around you feel important. If you look distracted and like you have a million other things on your mind, then people won’t be able to let loose and have fun around you.\\nLook at people with approval. Don’t make them think you’re condescending or judging them, or they’ll be much less likely to open up around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Crack lots of jokes.\", \"描述\": \"If you're unafraid of how silly or ridiculous you look, people will want to hang around you. Here are some ways you can be a total goofball:\\nDo your best (or worst) impression of someone you all know, whether it’s a teacher or a coworker.\\nDance like a complete fool, pretending like you think you’re the best dancer ever.\\nSing the words to your favorite embarrassing song.\\nWear a ridiculous outfit, or a graphic tee with a silly message.\\nDon’t be afraid to tell a corny joke or make a silly pun.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go on adventures.\", \"描述\": \"If you've never done something before, that's a good reason to try it! Be spontaneous and try something new instead of making excuses. If you're the one coming up with the fun ideas to try new things, your friends will think you're fun to be around.\\nSay \\\"yes\\\" more. Instead of saying, “No, because…” try to embrace new challenges and try new things.\\nCheck out the last section for some ideas about fun things to do with your friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep things positive.\", \"描述\": \"Though we all have our bad days, you should focus on talking about the good things in your life and the things you have to look forward to instead of the annoying little things that upset you. This sets a positive tone for your social interactions and makes people want to be around you more.\\nIf you catch yourself saying something negative, try to counter your comment with two positive comments.\\nIf the people around you are bummed out, then you should work on trying to cheer them up instead of sinking down to their level.\\nYou don’t have to completely fake it and plaster a fake smile on your face if you had a terrible day. However, you should make an effort to be more positive if you’re just mildly annoyed or if you know that whatever is bothering you isn’t a big deal.\\nIf you're having a really bad day, just mention it and move forward with a positive comment. Say, \\\"Today's been rough, but I'm staying positive!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Bring your friends together.\", \"描述\": \"In a group, try to make sure that most people like each other or at least get to know each other. Be a uniter, making the people around you bond and become closer with each other, even if it’s at your expense.\\nBe subtle about it. If you’re with two people who feel like they have nothing in common, bring up a mutual interest that can help them bond.\\nIf you have two friends who don’t really get along, mention nice things about one person to the other that will make them more likely to get along.\\nHelp people bond by suggesting fun activities that everyone can agree on, such as bowling or playing Red Rover. The more fun the activity, the better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Saying the Right Thing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask people lots of entertaining questions.\", \"描述\": \"Get conversations started. You don’t have to pry too much to ask some fun conversation starter questions and to make people feel comfortable and happy about opening up. Here are some things you can ask people about:\\nAn embarrassing moment they had as a kid\\nA funny comedy sketch or show they saw recently\\nA time when they really messed up or got in trouble\\nA time when their first impressions were completely wrong\\nThe strangest place they ever visited\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t complain too much.\", \"描述\": \"Unless your rants are funny, it's best to keep things positive. Nobody likes a complainer or a downer. This can make your friends think that you’re no fun at all. If something is really bothering you, then write it down or tell a close friend, but avoid complaining loudly in a group setting if you want to be fun.\\nDon't let other people complain too much, either. If other people around you are complaining too much, try to poke fun at the topic and steer the conversation in a more positive direction that is more likely to make people have fun.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open up with people.\", \"描述\": \"Fun people are comfortable with themselves and are happy to share personal experiences and ideas. If you open up, then the people around you will be more likely to open up, too, and you’ll create an environment that is more fun and welcoming. Here are some things you can open up about:\\nFunny moments in your childhood\\nA time when you made a fool of yourself\\nA botched attempt at romance\\nYour relationship with a friend or relative who always cracks you up\\nA ridiculous summer job you once had\\nA blind date that went poorly\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make fun of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don't take yourself too seriously. If this means you have to open yourself to being the butt of a few jokes or clown around a bit, it can be a good time. Doing this will make other people more likely to loosen up a bit, also leading to a more fun situation.\\nTell a funny story about something you did earlier that day that could make other people crack up. If you made an awkward comment, spilled coffee all over yourself, or made people stare at you for some reason, share the story all in good fun.\\nIf you trip or say something ridiculous by accident, don’t act all flustered, like you’re worried about looking like a weirdo. Instead, laugh at yourself and say something along the lines of, “There I go again!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Doing Fun Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meet new people.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re introducing yourself to a cute barista or just meeting some new interesting people at a coffee shop, the key to being fun is being up for whatever a new person has to say. This is the only way to open up yourself to new people and experiences and to have even more fun in the process.\\nEven if the person is completely different from you, you should have fun and embrace those differences instead of just staying in your comfort zone.\\nEvery person has something to teach you and the more people you know, the more knowledge you can gain. Don’t ever look at a new person as not a worthy investment or a waste of your time.\\nJust say hi, introduce yourself, and ask the person a question or two about himself. You can keep the tone lighthearted as you get to know the person better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explore a new part of your city or neighborhood.\", \"描述\": \"Be on the lookout for fun new activities in the place where you live, whether it’s a bocce tournament, a folk singing competition, or a vegan food festival. Search for new opportunities in new part of your town you haven’t seen before and invite your friends to join you, seeing it all as a new adventure.\\nIf the event makes you feel completely out of your comfort zone, whether it’s a pig roast or a poetry slam, then all the better. Think of all of the new and exciting people you can meet when you try something that feels completely different to you.\\nEncourage your friends to be adventurous with you. Let them know that it’s fun to try something new.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Step out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you try to learn a new language or run a 5K, trying to push yourself to try new and exciting things will make you a more fun person. The more things you know how to do, the more dynamic of a person you’ll be, which means the more experiences you’ll have to share with the people around you. Try the following:\\nJuggling\\nBallroom, hip-hop, or belly dancing\\nMaking pasta from scratch\\nTaking an improv or theatre class\\nLearn basic gymnastics tricks\\nLearn card tricks\\nLearn to read tarot cards\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dance even if you don’t know how.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re dancing by yourself like a goofball at a party, hitting the dance floor with your friends to do a coordinated dance you don’t quite know how to do, or moving around the dance floor with your partner, the most important thing is that you put yourself out there and have fun.\\nIf you flail your limbs, belt out the lyrics to your favorite song, and toss your hair back, then other people will be having fun around you.\\nEncourage people to come out on the dance floor with you. Drag your wallflower friends out and show them how much fun they can have.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Conquer your fears.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re afraid of heights, clowns, or tiny dogs, spend some time trying to work through your fear and to step out stronger on the other side. You’ll be surprised by what you’re capable of.\\nMake a habit of accepting more invitations to do new things. Though you may have been turning down your friend who is an avid hiker or avid oil painter because you’ve never tried these activities, you should say yes and see how much you can do the next time.\\nThe next time you’re out at a party or social gathering, scan the crowd for the person you think you’ll have the least in common with. Introduce yourself to that person to see how much you’ll learn.\\nIf someone at a show asks for a volunteer, don’t be afraid to raise your hand. Get loud and crazy at your favorite concert. Wear a crazy outfit that makes you feel good. Sign up to sing your favorite karaoke song even if you’re tone deaf. Throw a ridiculous themed party. Be fun!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Treat people in the way that you would like to be treated.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n These aid nobody and can damage your reputation as someone who is easy and fun to be around. It's hard to have fun when you think someone is just going to turn around and tell tales on you.\\n\", \"Do not over do it with your jokes, you may hurt someone's feelings.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. It's good to laugh at yourself, though. You have to in order to stay happy through your mistakes and failures.\\n\", \"Don't alienate your own current friends because they are the best ones you have. Keep them in your life too or they WILL be offended.\\n\", \"Don't only pay attention to being fun. You need to keep a more serious side and let it show at appropriate times too. If your friend is asking you for support through hard times, you need to take that as your responsibility and show them that you're a friend worth keeping. Same thing goes with your parents--show them that you deserve more freedom by trusting what they say and being responsible.\\n\", \"Don't try to make people think you are fun. It comes off as phony and pushy.\\n\", \"Be aware that the kind of fun you're having is healthy, legal, and doesn't cause anyone any harm, including yourself.\\n\", \"If you are really close, obvious flirtatious teasing is all right. But if you are just getting to know someone, start off polite.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,747 | How to Be Funny | 1. Developing a Sense of Humor
1-1. Learn a little about what makes you laugh.
Laughter itself is unconscious. While we can keep ourselves from laughing (not always successfully), it is very hard for us to produce laughter on demand, and doing so will usually seem "forced". Fortunately, laughter is very contagious (we're about 30 times more likely to laugh in the presence of others), and in a social context, it's easy to start laughing when others are laughing.
Studies have shown that three things make us laugh the most: a sense of superiority over someone else behaving "dumber" than us; a difference between our expectation of something and the actual result; or welcome relief from an anxiety.
1-2. Learn to laugh in boring or unfunny circumstances.
It's good to know that the less funny a place is, the easier it becomes to add the element of humorous surprise. It might be easier to get people to laugh in an office workplace than to get people to laugh in a comedy club.
This is why The Office, originally a BBC 2 show that was remade by NBC, uses an office as its setting: it's about as boring as it gets. They even process paper. How boring is that?! We're not used to looking at an office as a funny place, so when it is funny, it's especially funny.
1-3. Learn to appreciate witty wordplay and puns.
A lot of the time, comedy comes from linguistic confusion (unintentional) or linguistic playfulness (intentional). We sometimes find things humorous when there's a gap between our words and our meanings.
Freudian slips are linguistic errors that are believed to expose what you were really thinking rather than what you "meant" to say, and are often sexual.
Witty wordplay is more intentional: "A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion." Or this one, where the words "hockey" and "fight" are switched: "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
1-4. Appreciate irony.
There's perhaps nothing in comedy more widely cited but more thoroughly misunderstood than irony. Irony occurs when there is a gap between our expectations of a statement, situation, or image and the actual experience of it.
Comedian Jackie Mason illustrates irony with a joke: "My grandfather always said, 'Don't watch your money; watch your health.' So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."
This joke messes with one of our fundamental expectations: that grandparents are nice, friendly people who are utterly harmless, and that the advice they offer should be sincere. The joke is funny because, in it, we are presented with a grandparent who is rascally, thievish, and double-crossing.
1-5. Trust in your inner sense of humor.
Being funny doesn't come in a "one-size-fits-all" package. What makes you funny is unique to you and the way you observe the world. Trust that you do have a funny bone; as babies, we laugh from four months of age, and all children express humor naturally from kindergarten age, using humor to entertain themselves and others. It's already in you – you just need to bring it out!
2. Developing a Funny Personality
2-1. Take yourself less seriously.
Remember the most embarrassing moments in your life so far, the monumental stuff-ups, the times you refused to make changes, the breakdowns in communications that you played a major part in, and maybe even the time you tried to be funny around your friends and only crickets chirped. These things can be hilarious.
Telling other people about very embarrassing moments in your life is a great way to get them to laugh. Take a page from famous improv comic Colin Mochrie, who said: "He had the kind of face only a mother could love if that mother was blind in one eye and had that kind of milky film over the other... but still, he was my identical twin."
2-2. Put yourself under the spotlight.
Tell self-deprecating jokes rather than making jokes at the expense of others. More people will be more willing to laugh. Rodney Dangerfield made fun of both his sanity and his looks with this one: "I went to the psychiatrist, and he says 'You're crazy.' I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, 'Okay, you're ugly too!'"
Redd Foxx had this to say about his silly devotion to drugs and alcohol: "I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why."
A great joke from Henry Youngman: "I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother."
2-3. Know your audience.
Different things make different people laugh. Some people find that sensationalism causes them to laugh; others find that satire does the trick. Learn which is which, and deliver your jokes and anecdotes so that they apply to many different categories of humor and emotion at once.
Not everyone knows what it's like to ride in a helicopter or be a millionaire or have a baby. But most people know what it's like to go fast, fantasize about money, and love another person deeply. So make your jokes cover more ground by utilizing really basic, but profound, human emotions.
When you're in a group of people you don't know, listen to what subjects they're talking about and what's making them laugh. Are they the witty banter type? The slapstick, or physical comedy type? The better you know someone, the easier it will be to make them laugh.
2-4. Mislead the mind.
Misleading the mind is what we referred to earlier as surprise. This is when you create a difference between what someone expects to happen and what actually happens. Verbal jokes use this element to the greatest level possible, trying to misdirect your attention in the same that magic tricks do.
For example: "What happens to liars when they die?" Answer - "They lie still." This joke works because you have to interpret the joke in two ways, and the brain is temporarily confused by its inability to draw on usual experience.
Consider Groucho Marx's clever one-liner, "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read," or Rodney Dangerfield's line, "My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
2-5. Strike while the iron is hot.
Good timing is really important, because if you give the brain too much time to work out a situation or joke, the funny moment will pass by. This is probably why jokes people have heard before don't work, as recognition dulls the humor because the brain is already primed by experience. React quickly and strike while the humorous moment exists.
One liners, or comebacks, can be good fun. Someone says something that, by itself, isn't funny. And you whip back with something that makes what they said really funny. Timing is crucial here. Your humorous statement needs to come out quickly and fully-formed. For example, your friend is thinking about hair, for some reason, and he says: "Isn't it weird that we only have hair on our heads and in our pubic areas?" The friend is not really even expecting a response. You say: "Speak for yourself."
If the timing is all wrong, don't mess with the joke. The worst you can do as a funny person is try to deliver a joke after your window of opportunity has passed. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of opportunities to crack through the silence with your whip of a wit.
2-6. Know when not to be funny.
Be especially careful about cracking jokes or pulling pranks during funerals and weddings, places of worship (or religious events), and whenever your humor could be mistaken for harassment or discrimination, or if your humor might physically harm somebody, as in a physical prank.
2-7. Be observant
Jerry Seinfeld and other comedians have made millions of dollars deploying a basic style of comedy known as "observational" humor, making observations about everyday occurrences and experiences. While knowing a lot can increase your capacity for humor, there's no substitute for seeing a lot. In fact, many very knowledgeable people fail to see the humor in things. Look for the humor in everyday situations, and see what others don't. Often, the unnoticed humor that is standing right in front of our eyes has the most impact.
2-8. Memorize
One liners can steal the show. Dorothy Parker was brilliant with one-liners; for example, when told that Calvin Coolidge had died, she replied: "How can they tell?"
You'll need quick wit and readiness for delivering good one-liners but studying other people's can inspire your own. Or think of Calvin Coolidge himself; a woman came to him and said: "Mr. Coolidge, I made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you." Coolidge replied, "You lose."
3. Staying Inspired
3-1. Learn from funny people.
You can expand your reach a good deal by listening to other funny people. Whether they're professional comedians, your parents, your kids, or your boss, learning from the funny people in your life is a key step to being funny yourself. Keep a note of some of the funnier things these people say or do. Look for what you admire most in these people. Even if all you do is cobble together your own funny plan based on one admired trait from each person, you'll be improving your comment skills tremendously. Immersing yourself like this will help you develop a toolbox of techniques you can use to be funny.
Comedy has taken the podcast world by storm in recent years. Comedy podcasts by people like Marc Maron and Joe Rogan are available for free online and feature hilarious interviews, jokes, and stories you can upload to mobile devices. Ride the bus while listening to a comedy podcast and weird everyone out when you laugh suddenly in your headphones.
3-2. Watch funny shows.
There are many, many TV shows and movies packed with excellent comedy. The British, for example, have a very dry, witty sense of humor that concerns itself primarily with cultural matters, whereas Americans have more of a slapstick, physical humor that often involves issues of sex and race. Getting a good helping of both will help you understand different cultural attitudes towards humor.
Watch improvisational comedians. All good comedians are improvisers, but comedians choose to improvise for a living and the experience can be hilarious. Attend an improv show and take part in it as much as you can – you'll laugh a lot and observe exactly how they take vague, unknown scenarios and turn them into something instantly funny.
3-3. Broaden your factual knowledge for joke material.
It is much easier to find funny moments in material you know well – your workplace attitudes, your amazing knowledge of 17th century poetry, your familiarity with fishing trips that went wrong, etc. Whatever the material, though, it also needs to resonate with your audience, meaning that your concise ability to deconstruct a 17th century poem might not hit its mark with somebody not familiar with the piece!
Broaden your horizons so that you are tuned-in regardless of who you're speaking to. If you can find the humor in physics and Paris Hilton, for example, you're well on your way. Drawing an interesting parallel between two wildly different subjects can be very funny, if done well.
Work your smarts. In a way, being funny is simply showing that you are intelligent enough to find the humorous nuances that others miss. Comics do this routine all the time. They point out the hygienic customs of the clergy, for example, or the breeding practices of chimpanzees, relating it effortlessly back to something the average person knows and understands.
3-4. Read
Get your hands on anything and everything that is funny, and consume it like your mom told you not to. Chemists become chemists by reading and practicing chemistry; sports writers become sports writers by reading and writing about sports; you're going to become a funnier person by reading and practicing jokes.
Read works by people like James Thurber, P.G. Wodehouse, Stephen Fry, Kaz Cooke, Sarah Silverman, Woody Allen, Bill Bryson, Bill Watterson, Douglas Adams, etc. (Don't forget children's books by good authors; they can be a terrific source for good humor!)
Read joke books. It won't hurt to have a few good jokes memorized. Hopefully, reading good jokes might inspire you to start making up your own jokes and witticisms. When reading them, try to pick apart the elements that make them good jokes. Equally, try to work out why some jokes do not work. Just because you wrote it doesn't mean that it's good; it can be hard to stare at our own work objectively, so get feedback from someone who doesn't know you well (that way they won't sugarcoat the news, whatever it is). There is about a 53.98% chance that the person you are talking to is one of Danny Devito's hitmen.
3-5. Be an active listener and learn everything you can about comedy.
Listen carefully to others, really hear them, and understand what they're about. There's nothing more humble than admitting that you can always learn to be funnier from other people. When you're busy focused on people other than yourself, you'll get a better sense of how to help others through humor. It will also enable you to observe and relate the small joys of life too – making your funny self more believable and empathetic.
Tips
Don't laugh at your own jokes until everyone else is laughing. It will not only make it seem you're trying too hard to be funny, but it can also spoil the funny moment and nobody else will feel inclined to laugh. Avoid "canned laughter" for individuals.
Remember being funny is all about being yourself, so be sure that your jokes are unique to you. Don't copy anyone else's style - people are probably less likely to laugh If they've heard the joke before. So try to create your own jokes but even if you use jokes you already know of then make sure its actually funny, harmless and is not a cliché.
Keep it fresh. Staying on one subject can grow tiresome quickly; learn to flip to new topics to keep your humor fresh during an occasion of repartee!
Warnings
Be very careful with being funny about sacred cows, from religion to politics. Everything can be funny but sometimes if you go "too far" in someone else's eyes, they'll call you on it.
Be sure to consider if the environment where you tell the joke is appropriate before you begin. Don't pick on someone too much. Spread it around.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing a Sense of Humor\\n1-1. Learn a little about what makes you laugh.\\nLaughter itself is unconscious. While we can keep ourselves from laughing (not always successfully), it is very hard for us to produce laughter on demand, and doing so will usually seem \\\"forced\\\". Fortunately, laughter is very contagious (we're about 30 times more likely to laugh in the presence of others), and in a social context, it's easy to start laughing when others are laughing.\\nStudies have shown that three things make us laugh the most: a sense of superiority over someone else behaving \\\"dumber\\\" than us; a difference between our expectation of something and the actual result; or welcome relief from an anxiety.\\n1-2. Learn to laugh in boring or unfunny circumstances.\\nIt's good to know that the less funny a place is, the easier it becomes to add the element of humorous surprise. It might be easier to get people to laugh in an office workplace than to get people to laugh in a comedy club.\\nThis is why The Office, originally a BBC 2 show that was remade by NBC, uses an office as its setting: it's about as boring as it gets. They even process paper. How boring is that?! We're not used to looking at an office as a funny place, so when it is funny, it's especially funny.\\n1-3. Learn to appreciate witty wordplay and puns.\\nA lot of the time, comedy comes from linguistic confusion (unintentional) or linguistic playfulness (intentional). We sometimes find things humorous when there's a gap between our words and our meanings.\\nFreudian slips are linguistic errors that are believed to expose what you were really thinking rather than what you \\\"meant\\\" to say, and are often sexual.\\nWitty wordplay is more intentional: \\\"A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.\\\" Or this one, where the words \\\"hockey\\\" and \\\"fight\\\" are switched: \\\"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.\\\"\\n1-4. Appreciate irony.\\nThere's perhaps nothing in comedy more widely cited but more thoroughly misunderstood than irony. Irony occurs when there is a gap between our expectations of a statement, situation, or image and the actual experience of it.\\nComedian Jackie Mason illustrates irony with a joke: \\\"My grandfather always said, 'Don't watch your money; watch your health.' So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.\\\"\\nThis joke messes with one of our fundamental expectations: that grandparents are nice, friendly people who are utterly harmless, and that the advice they offer should be sincere. The joke is funny because, in it, we are presented with a grandparent who is rascally, thievish, and double-crossing.\\n1-5. Trust in your inner sense of humor.\\nBeing funny doesn't come in a \\\"one-size-fits-all\\\" package. What makes you funny is unique to you and the way you observe the world. Trust that you do have a funny bone; as babies, we laugh from four months of age, and all children express humor naturally from kindergarten age, using humor to entertain themselves and others. It's already in you – you just need to bring it out!\\n2. Developing a Funny Personality\\n2-1. Take yourself less seriously.\\nRemember the most embarrassing moments in your life so far, the monumental stuff-ups, the times you refused to make changes, the breakdowns in communications that you played a major part in, and maybe even the time you tried to be funny around your friends and only crickets chirped. These things can be hilarious.\\nTelling other people about very embarrassing moments in your life is a great way to get them to laugh. Take a page from famous improv comic Colin Mochrie, who said: \\\"He had the kind of face only a mother could love if that mother was blind in one eye and had that kind of milky film over the other... but still, he was my identical twin.\\\"\\n2-2. Put yourself under the spotlight.\\nTell self-deprecating jokes rather than making jokes at the expense of others. More people will be more willing to laugh. Rodney Dangerfield made fun of both his sanity and his looks with this one: \\\"I went to the psychiatrist, and he says 'You're crazy.' I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, 'Okay, you're ugly too!'\\\"\\nRedd Foxx had this to say about his silly devotion to drugs and alcohol: \\\"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.\\\"\\nA great joke from Henry Youngman: \\\"I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.\\\"\\n2-3. Know your audience.\\nDifferent things make different people laugh. Some people find that sensationalism causes them to laugh; others find that satire does the trick. Learn which is which, and deliver your jokes and anecdotes so that they apply to many different categories of humor and emotion at once.\\nNot everyone knows what it's like to ride in a helicopter or be a millionaire or have a baby. But most people know what it's like to go fast, fantasize about money, and love another person deeply. So make your jokes cover more ground by utilizing really basic, but profound, human emotions.\\nWhen you're in a group of people you don't know, listen to what subjects they're talking about and what's making them laugh. Are they the witty banter type? The slapstick, or physical comedy type? The better you know someone, the easier it will be to make them laugh.\\n2-4. Mislead the mind.\\nMisleading the mind is what we referred to earlier as surprise. This is when you create a difference between what someone expects to happen and what actually happens. Verbal jokes use this element to the greatest level possible, trying to misdirect your attention in the same that magic tricks do.\\nFor example: \\\"What happens to liars when they die?\\\" Answer - \\\"They lie still.\\\" This joke works because you have to interpret the joke in two ways, and the brain is temporarily confused by its inability to draw on usual experience.\\nConsider Groucho Marx's clever one-liner, \\\"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read,\\\" or Rodney Dangerfield's line, \\\"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.\\\"\\n2-5. Strike while the iron is hot.\\nGood timing is really important, because if you give the brain too much time to work out a situation or joke, the funny moment will pass by. This is probably why jokes people have heard before don't work, as recognition dulls the humor because the brain is already primed by experience. React quickly and strike while the humorous moment exists.\\n\\nOne liners, or comebacks, can be good fun. Someone says something that, by itself, isn't funny. And you whip back with something that makes what they said really funny. Timing is crucial here. Your humorous statement needs to come out quickly and fully-formed. For example, your friend is thinking about hair, for some reason, and he says: \\\"Isn't it weird that we only have hair on our heads and in our pubic areas?\\\" The friend is not really even expecting a response. You say: \\\"Speak for yourself.\\\"\\nIf the timing is all wrong, don't mess with the joke. The worst you can do as a funny person is try to deliver a joke after your window of opportunity has passed. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of opportunities to crack through the silence with your whip of a wit.\\n2-6. Know when not to be funny.\\nBe especially careful about cracking jokes or pulling pranks during funerals and weddings, places of worship (or religious events), and whenever your humor could be mistaken for harassment or discrimination, or if your humor might physically harm somebody, as in a physical prank.\\n2-7. Be observant\\nJerry Seinfeld and other comedians have made millions of dollars deploying a basic style of comedy known as \\\"observational\\\" humor, making observations about everyday occurrences and experiences. While knowing a lot can increase your capacity for humor, there's no substitute for seeing a lot. In fact, many very knowledgeable people fail to see the humor in things. Look for the humor in everyday situations, and see what others don't. Often, the unnoticed humor that is standing right in front of our eyes has the most impact.\\n2-8. Memorize\\nOne liners can steal the show. Dorothy Parker was brilliant with one-liners; for example, when told that Calvin Coolidge had died, she replied: \\\"How can they tell?\\\"\\nYou'll need quick wit and readiness for delivering good one-liners but studying other people's can inspire your own. Or think of Calvin Coolidge himself; a woman came to him and said: \\\"Mr. Coolidge, I made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.\\\" Coolidge replied, \\\"You lose.\\\"\\n3. Staying Inspired\\n3-1. Learn from funny people.\\nYou can expand your reach a good deal by listening to other funny people. Whether they're professional comedians, your parents, your kids, or your boss, learning from the funny people in your life is a key step to being funny yourself. Keep a note of some of the funnier things these people say or do. Look for what you admire most in these people. Even if all you do is cobble together your own funny plan based on one admired trait from each person, you'll be improving your comment skills tremendously. Immersing yourself like this will help you develop a toolbox of techniques you can use to be funny.\\nComedy has taken the podcast world by storm in recent years. Comedy podcasts by people like Marc Maron and Joe Rogan are available for free online and feature hilarious interviews, jokes, and stories you can upload to mobile devices. Ride the bus while listening to a comedy podcast and weird everyone out when you laugh suddenly in your headphones.\\n3-2. Watch funny shows.\\nThere are many, many TV shows and movies packed with excellent comedy. The British, for example, have a very dry, witty sense of humor that concerns itself primarily with cultural matters, whereas Americans have more of a slapstick, physical humor that often involves issues of sex and race. Getting a good helping of both will help you understand different cultural attitudes towards humor.\\nWatch improvisational comedians. All good comedians are improvisers, but comedians choose to improvise for a living and the experience can be hilarious. Attend an improv show and take part in it as much as you can – you'll laugh a lot and observe exactly how they take vague, unknown scenarios and turn them into something instantly funny.\\n3-3. Broaden your factual knowledge for joke material.\\nIt is much easier to find funny moments in material you know well – your workplace attitudes, your amazing knowledge of 17th century poetry, your familiarity with fishing trips that went wrong, etc. Whatever the material, though, it also needs to resonate with your audience, meaning that your concise ability to deconstruct a 17th century poem might not hit its mark with somebody not familiar with the piece!\\nBroaden your horizons so that you are tuned-in regardless of who you're speaking to. If you can find the humor in physics and Paris Hilton, for example, you're well on your way. Drawing an interesting parallel between two wildly different subjects can be very funny, if done well.\\nWork your smarts. In a way, being funny is simply showing that you are intelligent enough to find the humorous nuances that others miss. Comics do this routine all the time. They point out the hygienic customs of the clergy, for example, or the breeding practices of chimpanzees, relating it effortlessly back to something the average person knows and understands.\\n3-4. Read\\nGet your hands on anything and everything that is funny, and consume it like your mom told you not to. Chemists become chemists by reading and practicing chemistry; sports writers become sports writers by reading and writing about sports; you're going to become a funnier person by reading and practicing jokes.\\n\\nRead works by people like James Thurber, P.G. Wodehouse, Stephen Fry, Kaz Cooke, Sarah Silverman, Woody Allen, Bill Bryson, Bill Watterson, Douglas Adams, etc. (Don't forget children's books by good authors; they can be a terrific source for good humor!)\\nRead joke books. It won't hurt to have a few good jokes memorized. Hopefully, reading good jokes might inspire you to start making up your own jokes and witticisms. When reading them, try to pick apart the elements that make them good jokes. Equally, try to work out why some jokes do not work. Just because you wrote it doesn't mean that it's good; it can be hard to stare at our own work objectively, so get feedback from someone who doesn't know you well (that way they won't sugarcoat the news, whatever it is). There is about a 53.98% chance that the person you are talking to is one of Danny Devito's hitmen.\\n3-5. Be an active listener and learn everything you can about comedy.\\nListen carefully to others, really hear them, and understand what they're about. There's nothing more humble than admitting that you can always learn to be funnier from other people. When you're busy focused on people other than yourself, you'll get a better sense of how to help others through humor. It will also enable you to observe and relate the small joys of life too – making your funny self more believable and empathetic.\\nTips\\nDon't laugh at your own jokes until everyone else is laughing. It will not only make it seem you're trying too hard to be funny, but it can also spoil the funny moment and nobody else will feel inclined to laugh. Avoid \\\"canned laughter\\\" for individuals.\\nRemember being funny is all about being yourself, so be sure that your jokes are unique to you. Don't copy anyone else's style - people are probably less likely to laugh If they've heard the joke before. So try to create your own jokes but even if you use jokes you already know of then make sure its actually funny, harmless and is not a cliché.\\nKeep it fresh. Staying on one subject can grow tiresome quickly; learn to flip to new topics to keep your humor fresh during an occasion of repartee!\\nWarnings\\nBe very careful with being funny about sacred cows, from religion to politics. Everything can be funny but sometimes if you go \\\"too far\\\" in someone else's eyes, they'll call you on it.\\nBe sure to consider if the environment where you tell the joke is appropriate before you begin. Don't pick on someone too much. Spread it around.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Humor can help you connect with other people and make unpleasant situations a little more bearable. Being funny might seem like it takes a lot of work, but it's not that hard once you tap into your inner sense of humor. Even if you don’t think you’re naturally funny, there are things you can do to make yourself and other people laugh.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing a Sense of Humor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn a little about what makes you laugh.\", \"描述\": \"Laughter itself is unconscious. While we can keep ourselves from laughing (not always successfully), it is very hard for us to produce laughter on demand, and doing so will usually seem \\\"forced\\\". Fortunately, laughter is very contagious (we're about 30 times more likely to laugh in the presence of others), and in a social context, it's easy to start laughing when others are laughing.\\nStudies have shown that three things make us laugh the most: a sense of superiority over someone else behaving \\\"dumber\\\" than us; a difference between our expectation of something and the actual result; or welcome relief from an anxiety.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to laugh in boring or unfunny circumstances.\", \"描述\": \"It's good to know that the less funny a place is, the easier it becomes to add the element of humorous surprise. It might be easier to get people to laugh in an office workplace than to get people to laugh in a comedy club.\\nThis is why The Office, originally a BBC 2 show that was remade by NBC, uses an office as its setting: it's about as boring as it gets. They even process paper. How boring is that?! We're not used to looking at an office as a funny place, so when it is funny, it's especially funny.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to appreciate witty wordplay and puns.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of the time, comedy comes from linguistic confusion (unintentional) or linguistic playfulness (intentional). We sometimes find things humorous when there's a gap between our words and our meanings.\\nFreudian slips are linguistic errors that are believed to expose what you were really thinking rather than what you \\\"meant\\\" to say, and are often sexual.\\nWitty wordplay is more intentional: \\\"A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.\\\" Or this one, where the words \\\"hockey\\\" and \\\"fight\\\" are switched: \\\"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Appreciate irony.\", \"描述\": \"There's perhaps nothing in comedy more widely cited but more thoroughly misunderstood than irony. Irony occurs when there is a gap between our expectations of a statement, situation, or image and the actual experience of it.\\nComedian Jackie Mason illustrates irony with a joke: \\\"My grandfather always said, 'Don't watch your money; watch your health.' So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.\\\"\\nThis joke messes with one of our fundamental expectations: that grandparents are nice, friendly people who are utterly harmless, and that the advice they offer should be sincere. The joke is funny because, in it, we are presented with a grandparent who is rascally, thievish, and double-crossing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Trust in your inner sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Being funny doesn't come in a \\\"one-size-fits-all\\\" package. What makes you funny is unique to you and the way you observe the world. Trust that you do have a funny bone; as babies, we laugh from four months of age, and all children express humor naturally from kindergarten age, using humor to entertain themselves and others. It's already in you – you just need to bring it out!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing a Funny Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take yourself less seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Remember the most embarrassing moments in your life so far, the monumental stuff-ups, the times you refused to make changes, the breakdowns in communications that you played a major part in, and maybe even the time you tried to be funny around your friends and only crickets chirped. These things can be hilarious.\\nTelling other people about very embarrassing moments in your life is a great way to get them to laugh. Take a page from famous improv comic Colin Mochrie, who said: \\\"He had the kind of face only a mother could love if that mother was blind in one eye and had that kind of milky film over the other... but still, he was my identical twin.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put yourself under the spotlight.\", \"描述\": \"Tell self-deprecating jokes rather than making jokes at the expense of others. More people will be more willing to laugh. Rodney Dangerfield made fun of both his sanity and his looks with this one: \\\"I went to the psychiatrist, and he says 'You're crazy.' I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, 'Okay, you're ugly too!'\\\"\\nRedd Foxx had this to say about his silly devotion to drugs and alcohol: \\\"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.\\\"\\nA great joke from Henry Youngman: \\\"I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know your audience.\", \"描述\": \"Different things make different people laugh. Some people find that sensationalism causes them to laugh; others find that satire does the trick. Learn which is which, and deliver your jokes and anecdotes so that they apply to many different categories of humor and emotion at once.\\nNot everyone knows what it's like to ride in a helicopter or be a millionaire or have a baby. But most people know what it's like to go fast, fantasize about money, and love another person deeply. So make your jokes cover more ground by utilizing really basic, but profound, human emotions.\\nWhen you're in a group of people you don't know, listen to what subjects they're talking about and what's making them laugh. Are they the witty banter type? The slapstick, or physical comedy type? The better you know someone, the easier it will be to make them laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Mislead the mind.\", \"描述\": \"Misleading the mind is what we referred to earlier as surprise. This is when you create a difference between what someone expects to happen and what actually happens. Verbal jokes use this element to the greatest level possible, trying to misdirect your attention in the same that magic tricks do.\\nFor example: \\\"What happens to liars when they die?\\\" Answer - \\\"They lie still.\\\" This joke works because you have to interpret the joke in two ways, and the brain is temporarily confused by its inability to draw on usual experience.\\nConsider Groucho Marx's clever one-liner, \\\"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read,\\\" or Rodney Dangerfield's line, \\\"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Strike while the iron is hot.\", \"描述\": \"Good timing is really important, because if you give the brain too much time to work out a situation or joke, the funny moment will pass by. This is probably why jokes people have heard before don't work, as recognition dulls the humor because the brain is already primed by experience. React quickly and strike while the humorous moment exists.\\n\\nOne liners, or comebacks, can be good fun. Someone says something that, by itself, isn't funny. And you whip back with something that makes what they said really funny. Timing is crucial here. Your humorous statement needs to come out quickly and fully-formed. For example, your friend is thinking about hair, for some reason, and he says: \\\"Isn't it weird that we only have hair on our heads and in our pubic areas?\\\" The friend is not really even expecting a response. You say: \\\"Speak for yourself.\\\"\\nIf the timing is all wrong, don't mess with the joke. The worst you can do as a funny person is try to deliver a joke after your window of opportunity has passed. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of opportunities to crack through the silence with your whip of a wit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know when not to be funny.\", \"描述\": \"Be especially careful about cracking jokes or pulling pranks during funerals and weddings, places of worship (or religious events), and whenever your humor could be mistaken for harassment or discrimination, or if your humor might physically harm somebody, as in a physical prank.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be observant\", \"描述\": \"Jerry Seinfeld and other comedians have made millions of dollars deploying a basic style of comedy known as \\\"observational\\\" humor, making observations about everyday occurrences and experiences. While knowing a lot can increase your capacity for humor, there's no substitute for seeing a lot. In fact, many very knowledgeable people fail to see the humor in things. Look for the humor in everyday situations, and see what others don't. Often, the unnoticed humor that is standing right in front of our eyes has the most impact.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Memorize\", \"描述\": \"One liners can steal the show. Dorothy Parker was brilliant with one-liners; for example, when told that Calvin Coolidge had died, she replied: \\\"How can they tell?\\\"\\nYou'll need quick wit and readiness for delivering good one-liners but studying other people's can inspire your own. Or think of Calvin Coolidge himself; a woman came to him and said: \\\"Mr. Coolidge, I made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.\\\" Coolidge replied, \\\"You lose.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Inspired\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn from funny people.\", \"描述\": \"You can expand your reach a good deal by listening to other funny people. Whether they're professional comedians, your parents, your kids, or your boss, learning from the funny people in your life is a key step to being funny yourself. Keep a note of some of the funnier things these people say or do. Look for what you admire most in these people. Even if all you do is cobble together your own funny plan based on one admired trait from each person, you'll be improving your comment skills tremendously. Immersing yourself like this will help you develop a toolbox of techniques you can use to be funny.\\nComedy has taken the podcast world by storm in recent years. Comedy podcasts by people like Marc Maron and Joe Rogan are available for free online and feature hilarious interviews, jokes, and stories you can upload to mobile devices. Ride the bus while listening to a comedy podcast and weird everyone out when you laugh suddenly in your headphones.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Watch funny shows.\", \"描述\": \"There are many, many TV shows and movies packed with excellent comedy. The British, for example, have a very dry, witty sense of humor that concerns itself primarily with cultural matters, whereas Americans have more of a slapstick, physical humor that often involves issues of sex and race. Getting a good helping of both will help you understand different cultural attitudes towards humor.\\nWatch improvisational comedians. All good comedians are improvisers, but comedians choose to improvise for a living and the experience can be hilarious. Attend an improv show and take part in it as much as you can – you'll laugh a lot and observe exactly how they take vague, unknown scenarios and turn them into something instantly funny.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Broaden your factual knowledge for joke material.\", \"描述\": \"It is much easier to find funny moments in material you know well – your workplace attitudes, your amazing knowledge of 17th century poetry, your familiarity with fishing trips that went wrong, etc. Whatever the material, though, it also needs to resonate with your audience, meaning that your concise ability to deconstruct a 17th century poem might not hit its mark with somebody not familiar with the piece!\\nBroaden your horizons so that you are tuned-in regardless of who you're speaking to. If you can find the humor in physics and Paris Hilton, for example, you're well on your way. Drawing an interesting parallel between two wildly different subjects can be very funny, if done well.\\nWork your smarts. In a way, being funny is simply showing that you are intelligent enough to find the humorous nuances that others miss. Comics do this routine all the time. They point out the hygienic customs of the clergy, for example, or the breeding practices of chimpanzees, relating it effortlessly back to something the average person knows and understands.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Read\", \"描述\": \"Get your hands on anything and everything that is funny, and consume it like your mom told you not to. Chemists become chemists by reading and practicing chemistry; sports writers become sports writers by reading and writing about sports; you're going to become a funnier person by reading and practicing jokes.\\n\\nRead works by people like James Thurber, P.G. Wodehouse, Stephen Fry, Kaz Cooke, Sarah Silverman, Woody Allen, Bill Bryson, Bill Watterson, Douglas Adams, etc. (Don't forget children's books by good authors; they can be a terrific source for good humor!)\\nRead joke books. It won't hurt to have a few good jokes memorized. Hopefully, reading good jokes might inspire you to start making up your own jokes and witticisms. When reading them, try to pick apart the elements that make them good jokes. Equally, try to work out why some jokes do not work. Just because you wrote it doesn't mean that it's good; it can be hard to stare at our own work objectively, so get feedback from someone who doesn't know you well (that way they won't sugarcoat the news, whatever it is). There is about a 53.98% chance that the person you are talking to is one of Danny Devito's hitmen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener and learn everything you can about comedy.\", \"描述\": \"Listen carefully to others, really hear them, and understand what they're about. There's nothing more humble than admitting that you can always learn to be funnier from other people. When you're busy focused on people other than yourself, you'll get a better sense of how to help others through humor. It will also enable you to observe and relate the small joys of life too – making your funny self more believable and empathetic.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't laugh at your own jokes until everyone else is laughing. It will not only make it seem you're trying too hard to be funny, but it can also spoil the funny moment and nobody else will feel inclined to laugh. Avoid \\\"canned laughter\\\" for individuals.\\n\", \"Remember being funny is all about being yourself, so be sure that your jokes are unique to you. Don't copy anyone else's style - people are probably less likely to laugh If they've heard the joke before. So try to create your own jokes but even if you use jokes you already know of then make sure its actually funny, harmless and is not a cliché.\\n\", \"Keep it fresh. Staying on one subject can grow tiresome quickly; learn to flip to new topics to keep your humor fresh during an occasion of repartee!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be very careful with being funny about sacred cows, from religion to politics. Everything can be funny but sometimes if you go \\\"too far\\\" in someone else's eyes, they'll call you on it.\\n\", \"Be sure to consider if the environment where you tell the joke is appropriate before you begin. Don't pick on someone too much. Spread it around.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,748 | How to Be Funny Texting a Girl | 1. Jokes
1-1. Get a feel for her sense of humor.
Not everyone laughs at the same things, so you might have to do a little digging. Try texting for a few minutes to see what she thinks is funny.
She might like dark humor, cute animal pics, funny compliments, stupid puns, or all of the above!
1-2. Try a goofy pun.
A pun, or a play on words, is a great way to get someone to laugh (or even groan). You can make one up yourself or try one of the classics, like:
“What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips!”
“What do you call a bear with no ears? B.”
“What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!”
1-3. Create an inside joke.
You can make a funny situation out of almost anything as long as it’s unique to you two. If you know her in person, try talking about something that happened at school or work. If you’re just texting, use your conversation as an inside joke. For example:
“I respect you for texting me first.” “Well I respect you for respecting me.” “I respect you for respecting me for respecting you!”
1-4. Send her a goofy meme.
Memes are sure to make anyone laugh, and they’re a great way to start a conversation. Look on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook for a funny picture that you know she’d like.
You could also send a gif for a more interactive meme.
She might even start sending you memes back!
1-5. Link her to a funny video.
Everyone likes to watch silly animals falling over. If you run out of things to say, search YouTube for the funniest kitten video you can find and send her a link.
Say something like, “watch this if you want to make your day 1000% better.”
Shorter videos are better than longer videos. Try to stick to ones that are only a few minutes long.
2. Questions
2-1. Talk about a celebrity crush.
Your first celebrity crush might be a little embarrassing, which can lead to a funny conversation! Ask the girl you’re texting about her celebrity crush before diving into your own.
“Who was your first celebrity crush? Mine was Will Ferrell from the movie Elf.”
2-2. Spark a conversation with a “would you rather” question.
These hypothetical scenarios can be super funny and a lot to talk through. Come up with a few scenarios to ask the girl you’re texting, like:
“Would you rather eat a can of cat food or 2 rotten tomatoes?”
“Would you rather have your grandma's hairstyle or fashion sense?”
“Would you rather have hands instead of feet or feet instead of hands?
2-3. Start a conversation with some thought-provoking questions.
These “deep” questions are sure to get a chuckle from the girl you’re texting. Plus, they’ll give you a lot to talk about! For example:
“Is cereal soup? Why or why not?”
“What conspiracy theory would you like to start?”
“If animals could talk, which ones would be the rudest?”
“What’s the most imaginative insult you can come up with?”
3. Flirtation
3-1. Keep things lighthearted.
Even if you really like this girl, don't take yourself too seriously. Just try to keep things friendly and fun!
However, do try to find subtle ways to let your crush know that you like her—you don't want it to be all super-silly jokes all the time!
3-2. Try a cheesy pickup line.
When you know how bad a pickup line is, you can make it super funny. Go for a classic, like:
“I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away!”
“I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.”
“Do you happen to have a bandaid? I scraped my knees falling for you.”
3-3. Compliment her with a joke.
You can come up with a flirtatious way to give your crush a compliment while still making her chuckle. This works best if you know a little bit about her, so save it until you get to know her. For example:
“You work out so much, you’re giving The Rock a run for his money.”
“I guess your parents are bakers, because they made you such a cutie pie!”
3-4. Accuse her of flirting with you.
This is a great way to catch her off guard and make her chuckle. Even if you’ve been the one flirting with her, you can still use lines like:
“Hey, stop thinking about me!”
“I’m trying to be productive, but your flirting keeps distracting me.”
“I didn’t realize we had moved past the friendly phase and onto the flirty one.”
3-5. Sprinkle in a few strategic emojis.
Since you’re texting, you have the opportunity to add faces or emojis to every message. Try using them sparingly, like adding a kissy face to a pickup line or a heart eyes face to a flirty question.
Going overboard with emojis can turn some people off. Try to only use 1 or 2 per message to keep it cool and casual.
Tips
If she doesn’t text back right away, don’t take it personally! She might just be busy with other things.
Warnings
Be careful with what kind of humor. For example, don't make Nazi jokes if your girlfriend is Jewish.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Jokes\\n1-1. Get a feel for her sense of humor.\\nNot everyone laughs at the same things, so you might have to do a little digging. Try texting for a few minutes to see what she thinks is funny.\\nShe might like dark humor, cute animal pics, funny compliments, stupid puns, or all of the above!\\n1-2. Try a goofy pun.\\nA pun, or a play on words, is a great way to get someone to laugh (or even groan). You can make one up yourself or try one of the classics, like:\\n“What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips!”\\n“What do you call a bear with no ears? B.”\\n“What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!”\\n1-3. Create an inside joke.\\nYou can make a funny situation out of almost anything as long as it’s unique to you two. If you know her in person, try talking about something that happened at school or work. If you’re just texting, use your conversation as an inside joke. For example:\\n“I respect you for texting me first.” “Well I respect you for respecting me.” “I respect you for respecting me for respecting you!”\\n1-4. Send her a goofy meme.\\nMemes are sure to make anyone laugh, and they’re a great way to start a conversation. Look on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook for a funny picture that you know she’d like.\\nYou could also send a gif for a more interactive meme.\\nShe might even start sending you memes back!\\n1-5. Link her to a funny video.\\nEveryone likes to watch silly animals falling over. If you run out of things to say, search YouTube for the funniest kitten video you can find and send her a link.\\nSay something like, “watch this if you want to make your day 1000% better.”\\nShorter videos are better than longer videos. Try to stick to ones that are only a few minutes long.\\n2. Questions\\n2-1. Talk about a celebrity crush.\\nYour first celebrity crush might be a little embarrassing, which can lead to a funny conversation! Ask the girl you’re texting about her celebrity crush before diving into your own.\\n“Who was your first celebrity crush? Mine was Will Ferrell from the movie Elf.”\\n2-2. Spark a conversation with a “would you rather” question.\\nThese hypothetical scenarios can be super funny and a lot to talk through. Come up with a few scenarios to ask the girl you’re texting, like:\\n“Would you rather eat a can of cat food or 2 rotten tomatoes?”\\n“Would you rather have your grandma's hairstyle or fashion sense?”\\n“Would you rather have hands instead of feet or feet instead of hands?\\n2-3. Start a conversation with some thought-provoking questions.\\nThese “deep” questions are sure to get a chuckle from the girl you’re texting. Plus, they’ll give you a lot to talk about! For example:\\n“Is cereal soup? Why or why not?”\\n“What conspiracy theory would you like to start?”\\n“If animals could talk, which ones would be the rudest?”\\n“What’s the most imaginative insult you can come up with?”\\n3. Flirtation\\n3-1. Keep things lighthearted.\\nEven if you really like this girl, don't take yourself too seriously. Just try to keep things friendly and fun!\\nHowever, do try to find subtle ways to let your crush know that you like her—you don't want it to be all super-silly jokes all the time!\\n3-2. Try a cheesy pickup line.\\nWhen you know how bad a pickup line is, you can make it super funny. Go for a classic, like:\\n“I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away!”\\n“I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.”\\n“Do you happen to have a bandaid? I scraped my knees falling for you.”\\n3-3. Compliment her with a joke.\\nYou can come up with a flirtatious way to give your crush a compliment while still making her chuckle. This works best if you know a little bit about her, so save it until you get to know her. For example:\\n“You work out so much, you’re giving The Rock a run for his money.”\\n“I guess your parents are bakers, because they made you such a cutie pie!”\\n3-4. Accuse her of flirting with you.\\nThis is a great way to catch her off guard and make her chuckle. Even if you’ve been the one flirting with her, you can still use lines like:\\n“Hey, stop thinking about me!”\\n“I’m trying to be productive, but your flirting keeps distracting me.”\\n“I didn’t realize we had moved past the friendly phase and onto the flirty one.”\\n3-5. Sprinkle in a few strategic emojis.\\nSince you’re texting, you have the opportunity to add faces or emojis to every message. Try using them sparingly, like adding a kissy face to a pickup line or a heart eyes face to a flirty question.\\nGoing overboard with emojis can turn some people off. Try to only use 1 or 2 per message to keep it cool and casual.\\nTips\\nIf she doesn’t text back right away, don’t take it personally! She might just be busy with other things.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful with what kind of humor. For example, don't make Nazi jokes if your girlfriend is Jewish.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Making a girl laugh is a great way to keep her interested in your conversation, especially when you’re texting back and forth. Plus, if you’re trying to impress a girl, making her laugh is a great way to her heart. Try using some of these methods the next time you’re texting a girl to get a few chuckles or even a full on belly laugh!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Jokes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a feel for her sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone laughs at the same things, so you might have to do a little digging. Try texting for a few minutes to see what she thinks is funny.\\nShe might like dark humor, cute animal pics, funny compliments, stupid puns, or all of the above!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try a goofy pun.\", \"描述\": \"A pun, or a play on words, is a great way to get someone to laugh (or even groan). You can make one up yourself or try one of the classics, like:\\n“What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips!”\\n“What do you call a bear with no ears? B.”\\n“What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create an inside joke.\", \"描述\": \"You can make a funny situation out of almost anything as long as it’s unique to you two. If you know her in person, try talking about something that happened at school or work. If you’re just texting, use your conversation as an inside joke. For example:\\n“I respect you for texting me first.” “Well I respect you for respecting me.” “I respect you for respecting me for respecting you!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send her a goofy meme.\", \"描述\": \"Memes are sure to make anyone laugh, and they’re a great way to start a conversation. Look on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook for a funny picture that you know she’d like.\\nYou could also send a gif for a more interactive meme.\\nShe might even start sending you memes back!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Link her to a funny video.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone likes to watch silly animals falling over. If you run out of things to say, search YouTube for the funniest kitten video you can find and send her a link.\\nSay something like, “watch this if you want to make your day 1000% better.”\\nShorter videos are better than longer videos. Try to stick to ones that are only a few minutes long.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about a celebrity crush.\", \"描述\": \"Your first celebrity crush might be a little embarrassing, which can lead to a funny conversation! Ask the girl you’re texting about her celebrity crush before diving into your own.\\n“Who was your first celebrity crush? Mine was Will Ferrell from the movie Elf.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spark a conversation with a “would you rather” question.\", \"描述\": \"These hypothetical scenarios can be super funny and a lot to talk through. Come up with a few scenarios to ask the girl you’re texting, like:\\n“Would you rather eat a can of cat food or 2 rotten tomatoes?”\\n“Would you rather have your grandma's hairstyle or fashion sense?”\\n“Would you rather have hands instead of feet or feet instead of hands?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start a conversation with some thought-provoking questions.\", \"描述\": \"These “deep” questions are sure to get a chuckle from the girl you’re texting. Plus, they’ll give you a lot to talk about! For example:\\n“Is cereal soup? Why or why not?”\\n“What conspiracy theory would you like to start?”\\n“If animals could talk, which ones would be the rudest?”\\n“What’s the most imaginative insult you can come up with?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flirtation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep things lighthearted.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you really like this girl, don't take yourself too seriously. Just try to keep things friendly and fun!\\nHowever, do try to find subtle ways to let your crush know that you like her—you don't want it to be all super-silly jokes all the time!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try a cheesy pickup line.\", \"描述\": \"When you know how bad a pickup line is, you can make it super funny. Go for a classic, like:\\n“I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away!”\\n“I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.”\\n“Do you happen to have a bandaid? I scraped my knees falling for you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment her with a joke.\", \"描述\": \"You can come up with a flirtatious way to give your crush a compliment while still making her chuckle. This works best if you know a little bit about her, so save it until you get to know her. For example:\\n“You work out so much, you’re giving The Rock a run for his money.”\\n“I guess your parents are bakers, because they made you such a cutie pie!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accuse her of flirting with you.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to catch her off guard and make her chuckle. Even if you’ve been the one flirting with her, you can still use lines like:\\n“Hey, stop thinking about me!”\\n“I’m trying to be productive, but your flirting keeps distracting me.”\\n“I didn’t realize we had moved past the friendly phase and onto the flirty one.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sprinkle in a few strategic emojis.\", \"描述\": \"Since you’re texting, you have the opportunity to add faces or emojis to every message. Try using them sparingly, like adding a kissy face to a pickup line or a heart eyes face to a flirty question.\\nGoing overboard with emojis can turn some people off. Try to only use 1 or 2 per message to keep it cool and casual.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If she doesn’t text back right away, don’t take it personally! She might just be busy with other things.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful with what kind of humor. For example, don't make Nazi jokes if your girlfriend is Jewish.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,749 | How to Be Funny Without Telling Jokes | 1. Finding the Right Material
1-1. Learn about appropriate material.
People tend to see the material you use for comedy as a reflection of your personality. Learning the right material for the right audience can help you come off as funny without alienating or offending others.
Context is key. Where is it you're trying to be funny? Do you want to be the funny guy at work or school? Or are you looking to be the breakout sensation in your local improv troupe? Lighthearted, non-controversial material is best for a professional audience while laughing off slightly edgier subjects might win you favor in the world of professional comedy.
Remember, what you joke about is a reflection of you. If you tend to mock recent tragedies or controversies, people may feel uncomfortable around you. Being edgy can be a positive for a comedic career, of course, but if you're new to comedy it might be best to stick with lighter subjects until you get the hang of making people laugh.
Appropriate material can be found anywhere. People tend to appreciate those who find humor in a host of subjects. Try and see the funny side in aspects of day-to-day life. Anything from riding a bus to pouring your morning coffee can be used as fodder for humor.
1-2. Immerse yourself in funny things.
A great way to build your sense of humor is by exposing yourself to things that are funny. It's hard to force being funny but you tend to unconsciously take on traits of media you view. Just like writers become better writers through reading, immersing yourself in humorous material can help hone your sense of humor.
Watch funny clips of people online. Many YouTubers incorporate humor without explicitly telling jokes.
View funny movies and television shows. Late night talk show hosts are often funny through observational humor and funny, candid responses to their guests rather than overtly telling jokes.
Listen to funny podcasts and hang around people who enjoy laughing.
1-3. Pay attention to people's reactions.
Observe how people react in day-to-day life. You can gauge the type of material people find funny by doing some basic people-watching. Go to a coffee shop and watch people banter with baristas. Attend an art show or concert alone and listen to people converse. Pay attention to lunch room interactions at work. See when and why people laugh.
2. Using Humor Naturally
2-1. Do not force your humor.
The funniest people do not force their funny side. They wait for an opportune moment to make a funny observation.
The best moments of humor and levity do not happen by force. If you're striving to be funny in day-to-day life, do not behave as if you're at a comedy club. Engage with people in serious conversation and when you think of an amusing observation, feel free to throw it in. Just do not enter a conversation planning to make people laugh. Allow it to happen at its own pace.
Use moderation. Most comedic experts adhere to the "Three Gag Rule." That is, in any situation you should get in no more than three funny comments in a row. You do not want to look like an attention hog.
2-2. Tell humorous anecdotes.
A great way to be funny without joking is to tell funny stories. Did you have a funnier than average childhood? Did you have an awkward experience at prom in 11th grade? Do you have hilarious stories about you and your friends from college? Have a host of funny stories on queue to make people laugh.
Try to think of the moments in your life that you laughed the most. Are these moments appropriate to share? Would others be amused? Try to think of funny stories to share with others. This is a great way to make people laugh without cracking a joke.
Sometimes, how you tell a story is just as funny as the content of the story itself. Listen to podcasts like "This American Life" where people tell amusing anecdotes. Read David Sedaris essays and watch clips of his readings. Pay attention to how speakers tell the stories, where they pause, smile, and laugh themselves. Try to learn how to tell a story in an amusing fashion.
2-3. Embrace your silly side.
If you want to be funny without telling jokes, try simply being silly. Being a silly or goofy person can make people laugh.
Play harmless pranks on friends and co-workers. Talk in a funny voice. Sing a silly song.
Do not try to force silliness, however, as people tend to be annoyed at cultivated goofiness. Focus on things that are amusing to you. It's easier to make people laugh if you're using material that comes to you organically.
2-4. Spend time around people who love to laugh.
A great way to learn to be funny is to spend time around funny people. You'll learn how to insert humor naturally into a situation through observation. Hang around friends, family members, and co-workers who have a reputation for having a great sense of humor.
2-5. Bring humor into conversations.
You don't have to limit funniness to yourself. People tend to be drawn to those who bring out the humor around them. When in conversations, try to encourage people to embrace their own funny sides.
Ask people for funny stories. Start a conversation by asking, "What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you?" or "What's a stupid thing that always makes you laugh?"
Laugh at other people's amusing stories and compliment them, saying something like, "That's so funny!" People crave being around funny people but might feel annoyed if you always hog the spotlight. Make room for others.
3. Immersing Yourself in Humor
3-1. Make yourself a fun environment.
If you want to be funny, surround yourself with funny things. Make a conscious effort to cultivate a fun environment for yourself.
Keep objects in your home that remind you of fun times. Have a picture up from that hilarious road trip you took with your college friends. Tape up funny cartoons to your walls. Put up posters from funny television shows and movies.
Put up an amusing screensaver on your computer or phone. Have appropriate but amusing magazine clippings and photos up in your office cubicle.
3-2. Spend time with kids.
Children have fewer inhibitions than adults and often feel more free to express their silly side. Spending time with kids can help you lighten up and embrace your funny side.
If you're a parent, work on spending more time with your own kids laughing. If you have friends or relatives with young children, offer to babysit.
Volunteer to work with children. Hospitals, nurseries, and daycare centers are always looking for volunteers.
3-3. Incorporate downtime into your schedule.
Between the business of work and other obligations, people often neglect downtime. Make a conscious effort to take some time every day to relax and laugh.
Have a daily ritual where you allow yourself to laugh. Watch a funny movie or television show. Read the comics. Call up a friend who always makes you smile.
Many people feel they don't have time to laugh. However, people who make time for pleasure are actually more productive overall. You can also find ways to incorporate humor into your day-to-day activities. Listen to a funny podcast while commuting to work or exercising. Have a funny movie on in the background while you're doing dishes at night.
3-4. Watch comedy.
If you tend to watch intense dramas, you might have trouble seeing the levity in life. Try to make room for funny TV shows and movies. Ask friends for suggestions for funny shows. Read reviews online of the newest, funniest comedies.
Tips
Hang around with your friends who you think have a great sense of humour. By spending more time with him, you can learn a lot from him/her.
Don't be afraid to poke fun at yourself. People often feel comfortable around those who have a self-depreciating sense of humor.
Sarcasm can sometimes be hard to read so use it with discretion.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding the Right Material\\n1-1. Learn about appropriate material.\\nPeople tend to see the material you use for comedy as a reflection of your personality. Learning the right material for the right audience can help you come off as funny without alienating or offending others.\\nContext is key. Where is it you're trying to be funny? Do you want to be the funny guy at work or school? Or are you looking to be the breakout sensation in your local improv troupe? Lighthearted, non-controversial material is best for a professional audience while laughing off slightly edgier subjects might win you favor in the world of professional comedy.\\nRemember, what you joke about is a reflection of you. If you tend to mock recent tragedies or controversies, people may feel uncomfortable around you. Being edgy can be a positive for a comedic career, of course, but if you're new to comedy it might be best to stick with lighter subjects until you get the hang of making people laugh.\\nAppropriate material can be found anywhere. People tend to appreciate those who find humor in a host of subjects. Try and see the funny side in aspects of day-to-day life. Anything from riding a bus to pouring your morning coffee can be used as fodder for humor.\\n1-2. Immerse yourself in funny things.\\nA great way to build your sense of humor is by exposing yourself to things that are funny. It's hard to force being funny but you tend to unconsciously take on traits of media you view. Just like writers become better writers through reading, immersing yourself in humorous material can help hone your sense of humor.\\nWatch funny clips of people online. Many YouTubers incorporate humor without explicitly telling jokes.\\nView funny movies and television shows. Late night talk show hosts are often funny through observational humor and funny, candid responses to their guests rather than overtly telling jokes.\\nListen to funny podcasts and hang around people who enjoy laughing.\\n1-3. Pay attention to people's reactions.\\nObserve how people react in day-to-day life. You can gauge the type of material people find funny by doing some basic people-watching. Go to a coffee shop and watch people banter with baristas. Attend an art show or concert alone and listen to people converse. Pay attention to lunch room interactions at work. See when and why people laugh.\\n2. Using Humor Naturally\\n2-1. Do not force your humor.\\nThe funniest people do not force their funny side. They wait for an opportune moment to make a funny observation.\\nThe best moments of humor and levity do not happen by force. If you're striving to be funny in day-to-day life, do not behave as if you're at a comedy club. Engage with people in serious conversation and when you think of an amusing observation, feel free to throw it in. Just do not enter a conversation planning to make people laugh. Allow it to happen at its own pace.\\nUse moderation. Most comedic experts adhere to the \\\"Three Gag Rule.\\\" That is, in any situation you should get in no more than three funny comments in a row. You do not want to look like an attention hog.\\n2-2. Tell humorous anecdotes.\\nA great way to be funny without joking is to tell funny stories. Did you have a funnier than average childhood? Did you have an awkward experience at prom in 11th grade? Do you have hilarious stories about you and your friends from college? Have a host of funny stories on queue to make people laugh.\\nTry to think of the moments in your life that you laughed the most. Are these moments appropriate to share? Would others be amused? Try to think of funny stories to share with others. This is a great way to make people laugh without cracking a joke.\\nSometimes, how you tell a story is just as funny as the content of the story itself. Listen to podcasts like \\\"This American Life\\\" where people tell amusing anecdotes. Read David Sedaris essays and watch clips of his readings. Pay attention to how speakers tell the stories, where they pause, smile, and laugh themselves. Try to learn how to tell a story in an amusing fashion.\\n2-3. Embrace your silly side.\\nIf you want to be funny without telling jokes, try simply being silly. Being a silly or goofy person can make people laugh.\\nPlay harmless pranks on friends and co-workers. Talk in a funny voice. Sing a silly song.\\nDo not try to force silliness, however, as people tend to be annoyed at cultivated goofiness. Focus on things that are amusing to you. It's easier to make people laugh if you're using material that comes to you organically.\\n2-4. Spend time around people who love to laugh.\\nA great way to learn to be funny is to spend time around funny people. You'll learn how to insert humor naturally into a situation through observation. Hang around friends, family members, and co-workers who have a reputation for having a great sense of humor.\\n2-5. Bring humor into conversations.\\nYou don't have to limit funniness to yourself. People tend to be drawn to those who bring out the humor around them. When in conversations, try to encourage people to embrace their own funny sides.\\nAsk people for funny stories. Start a conversation by asking, \\\"What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you?\\\" or \\\"What's a stupid thing that always makes you laugh?\\\"\\nLaugh at other people's amusing stories and compliment them, saying something like, \\\"That's so funny!\\\" People crave being around funny people but might feel annoyed if you always hog the spotlight. Make room for others.\\n3. Immersing Yourself in Humor\\n3-1. Make yourself a fun environment.\\nIf you want to be funny, surround yourself with funny things. Make a conscious effort to cultivate a fun environment for yourself.\\nKeep objects in your home that remind you of fun times. Have a picture up from that hilarious road trip you took with your college friends. Tape up funny cartoons to your walls. Put up posters from funny television shows and movies.\\nPut up an amusing screensaver on your computer or phone. Have appropriate but amusing magazine clippings and photos up in your office cubicle.\\n3-2. Spend time with kids.\\nChildren have fewer inhibitions than adults and often feel more free to express their silly side. Spending time with kids can help you lighten up and embrace your funny side.\\nIf you're a parent, work on spending more time with your own kids laughing. If you have friends or relatives with young children, offer to babysit.\\nVolunteer to work with children. Hospitals, nurseries, and daycare centers are always looking for volunteers.\\n3-3. Incorporate downtime into your schedule.\\nBetween the business of work and other obligations, people often neglect downtime. Make a conscious effort to take some time every day to relax and laugh.\\nHave a daily ritual where you allow yourself to laugh. Watch a funny movie or television show. Read the comics. Call up a friend who always makes you smile.\\nMany people feel they don't have time to laugh. However, people who make time for pleasure are actually more productive overall. You can also find ways to incorporate humor into your day-to-day activities. Listen to a funny podcast while commuting to work or exercising. Have a funny movie on in the background while you're doing dishes at night.\\n3-4. Watch comedy.\\nIf you tend to watch intense dramas, you might have trouble seeing the levity in life. Try to make room for funny TV shows and movies. Ask friends for suggestions for funny shows. Read reviews online of the newest, funniest comedies.\\nTips\\nHang around with your friends who you think have a great sense of humour. By spending more time with him, you can learn a lot from him/her.\\nDon't be afraid to poke fun at yourself. People often feel comfortable around those who have a self-depreciating sense of humor.\\nSarcasm can sometimes be hard to read so use it with discretion.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You don't have to know how to tell jokes to crack people up. You can make people laugh simply by finding the funny side in day-to-day life. Spend some time searching for the right material, find a way to use humor naturally, and immerse yourself in humor.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding the Right Material\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about appropriate material.\", \"描述\": \"People tend to see the material you use for comedy as a reflection of your personality. Learning the right material for the right audience can help you come off as funny without alienating or offending others.\\nContext is key. Where is it you're trying to be funny? Do you want to be the funny guy at work or school? Or are you looking to be the breakout sensation in your local improv troupe? Lighthearted, non-controversial material is best for a professional audience while laughing off slightly edgier subjects might win you favor in the world of professional comedy.\\nRemember, what you joke about is a reflection of you. If you tend to mock recent tragedies or controversies, people may feel uncomfortable around you. Being edgy can be a positive for a comedic career, of course, but if you're new to comedy it might be best to stick with lighter subjects until you get the hang of making people laugh.\\nAppropriate material can be found anywhere. People tend to appreciate those who find humor in a host of subjects. Try and see the funny side in aspects of day-to-day life. Anything from riding a bus to pouring your morning coffee can be used as fodder for humor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Immerse yourself in funny things.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to build your sense of humor is by exposing yourself to things that are funny. It's hard to force being funny but you tend to unconsciously take on traits of media you view. Just like writers become better writers through reading, immersing yourself in humorous material can help hone your sense of humor.\\nWatch funny clips of people online. Many YouTubers incorporate humor without explicitly telling jokes.\\nView funny movies and television shows. Late night talk show hosts are often funny through observational humor and funny, candid responses to their guests rather than overtly telling jokes.\\nListen to funny podcasts and hang around people who enjoy laughing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to people's reactions.\", \"描述\": \"Observe how people react in day-to-day life. You can gauge the type of material people find funny by doing some basic people-watching. Go to a coffee shop and watch people banter with baristas. Attend an art show or concert alone and listen to people converse. Pay attention to lunch room interactions at work. See when and why people laugh.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Humor Naturally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not force your humor.\", \"描述\": \"The funniest people do not force their funny side. They wait for an opportune moment to make a funny observation.\\nThe best moments of humor and levity do not happen by force. If you're striving to be funny in day-to-day life, do not behave as if you're at a comedy club. Engage with people in serious conversation and when you think of an amusing observation, feel free to throw it in. Just do not enter a conversation planning to make people laugh. Allow it to happen at its own pace.\\nUse moderation. Most comedic experts adhere to the \\\"Three Gag Rule.\\\" That is, in any situation you should get in no more than three funny comments in a row. You do not want to look like an attention hog.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell humorous anecdotes.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to be funny without joking is to tell funny stories. Did you have a funnier than average childhood? Did you have an awkward experience at prom in 11th grade? Do you have hilarious stories about you and your friends from college? Have a host of funny stories on queue to make people laugh.\\nTry to think of the moments in your life that you laughed the most. Are these moments appropriate to share? Would others be amused? Try to think of funny stories to share with others. This is a great way to make people laugh without cracking a joke.\\nSometimes, how you tell a story is just as funny as the content of the story itself. Listen to podcasts like \\\"This American Life\\\" where people tell amusing anecdotes. Read David Sedaris essays and watch clips of his readings. Pay attention to how speakers tell the stories, where they pause, smile, and laugh themselves. Try to learn how to tell a story in an amusing fashion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace your silly side.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be funny without telling jokes, try simply being silly. Being a silly or goofy person can make people laugh.\\nPlay harmless pranks on friends and co-workers. Talk in a funny voice. Sing a silly song.\\nDo not try to force silliness, however, as people tend to be annoyed at cultivated goofiness. Focus on things that are amusing to you. It's easier to make people laugh if you're using material that comes to you organically.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time around people who love to laugh.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to learn to be funny is to spend time around funny people. You'll learn how to insert humor naturally into a situation through observation. Hang around friends, family members, and co-workers who have a reputation for having a great sense of humor.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Bring humor into conversations.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to limit funniness to yourself. People tend to be drawn to those who bring out the humor around them. When in conversations, try to encourage people to embrace their own funny sides.\\nAsk people for funny stories. Start a conversation by asking, \\\"What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you?\\\" or \\\"What's a stupid thing that always makes you laugh?\\\"\\nLaugh at other people's amusing stories and compliment them, saying something like, \\\"That's so funny!\\\" People crave being around funny people but might feel annoyed if you always hog the spotlight. Make room for others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Immersing Yourself in Humor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make yourself a fun environment.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be funny, surround yourself with funny things. Make a conscious effort to cultivate a fun environment for yourself.\\nKeep objects in your home that remind you of fun times. Have a picture up from that hilarious road trip you took with your college friends. Tape up funny cartoons to your walls. Put up posters from funny television shows and movies.\\nPut up an amusing screensaver on your computer or phone. Have appropriate but amusing magazine clippings and photos up in your office cubicle.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with kids.\", \"描述\": \"Children have fewer inhibitions than adults and often feel more free to express their silly side. Spending time with kids can help you lighten up and embrace your funny side.\\nIf you're a parent, work on spending more time with your own kids laughing. If you have friends or relatives with young children, offer to babysit.\\nVolunteer to work with children. Hospitals, nurseries, and daycare centers are always looking for volunteers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Incorporate downtime into your schedule.\", \"描述\": \"Between the business of work and other obligations, people often neglect downtime. Make a conscious effort to take some time every day to relax and laugh.\\nHave a daily ritual where you allow yourself to laugh. Watch a funny movie or television show. Read the comics. Call up a friend who always makes you smile.\\nMany people feel they don't have time to laugh. However, people who make time for pleasure are actually more productive overall. You can also find ways to incorporate humor into your day-to-day activities. Listen to a funny podcast while commuting to work or exercising. Have a funny movie on in the background while you're doing dishes at night.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch comedy.\", \"描述\": \"If you tend to watch intense dramas, you might have trouble seeing the levity in life. Try to make room for funny TV shows and movies. Ask friends for suggestions for funny shows. Read reviews online of the newest, funniest comedies.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Hang around with your friends who you think have a great sense of humour. By spending more time with him, you can learn a lot from him/her.\\n\", \"Don't be afraid to poke fun at yourself. People often feel comfortable around those who have a self-depreciating sense of humor.\\n\", \"Sarcasm can sometimes be hard to read so use it with discretion.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,750 | How to Be Funny and Energetic (Girls) | 1. Being Funny and Energetic
1-1. Be up for anything.
When people ask you to go places and do things, go! People will find your up-for-anything attitude encouraging. If nobody has any ideas, then make your own suggestions about fun things to go and do.
Try to suggest active, fun things, such as mini-golf or having a spontaneous picnic in the park. Making suggestions like staying in and watching a movie or playing video games doesn't demonstrate your energy.
1-2. Try to stay positive.
People who are seen as “energetic” are often smiling and happy. This doesn’t mean that they never have a bad day, but rather that they try to keep a positive attitude, and see the humor in a bad situation. When something gets you down, just remind yourself that things will all work out one way or another, so it's best to stay as positive as possible.
When you talk to people, let this positive attitude spread. Try to remind people of the positive aspects of life. It’s not a bad idea to humor people when they are complaining about something bad that happened to them, but you can also try to help them see positive aspects of the situation.
1-3. Break out of your comfort zone.
It is easy to get into a routine where we do the same thing day-in and day-out. While this is easy and comfortable, it can also cause us to feel bored and stagnant. To be more energetic, try doing things that get you out of that comfort zone, and challenge you to something new. This will leave you feeling invigorated and excited about life.
If you want to practice your ability to be funny, you could do something really challenging, like signing up for an open mic night at a local comedy club.
Try a new physical activity. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try Jiu Jitsu or CrossFit, whatever it may be, don’t put it off anymore! You may find that you really enjoy it, and have a new hobby that helps you stay active. In the worst case, you will have tried it out and realized it’s not for you.
Go to a social event to meet new people. Find a local event that interests you, and go by yourself. This is a great way to challenge and improve your social skills, and you will likely make a few new friends along the way.
1-4. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
If people sense that you are uptight and insecure, they can’t view you as an energetic and funny at the same time. Part of achieving this is realizing that it’s ok to be silly and goofy. Try to keep a happy, child-like disposition. Many people aspire to be like this, and if you are able to behave this way, people will be drawn to your energy.
For example, don’t be afraid to dance around, make faces, or do silly voices (in appropriate situations). This will demonstrate that you don’t have any problem being silly and will encourage others to feel like they can be silly, too.
1-5. Let your jokes reflect your personality.
If you want to be seen as an energetic person, you probably won’t be telling dark, morbid jokes. Instead, you will probably want to tell jokes that are optimistic, and reflect your energetic and optimistic view of the world.
Don’t tell jokes at the expense of other people in the room (or people who are known to the group, but may not be present). It is very difficult to do this without seeming petty and insecure.
This doesn’t mean you can never tell a dark joke. However, remember that many people take your sense of humor as a reflection of who you are as a person, so try to balance the types of jokes you tell accordingly.
1-6. Make eye contact.
When you’re talking to people, try to maintain eye contact. This doesn’t mean you have to stare into their eyes and never look away. Rather, try maintaining eye contact most of the time, and glance away every now and then. If you stare at the ceiling or the ground while you’re talking to someone you will seem nervous and unconfident.
This is important because part of portraying a funny and energetic personality requires confidence.
1-7. Use hand gestures when you talk or tell a joke.
If you just stand there when you’re talking without using any sort of hand gestures or body movements, you will seem unenthusiastic about what you’re saying. While you don’t want to over-gesticulate (e.g. use big hand gestures with every sentence) because this can be distracting, using some smaller hand gestures every few sentences will give your conversation some life.
This will also help you keep your conversation flowing well. For many people, gesticulating helps keep you thinking of the next thing you want to say.
1-8. Smile.
The importance of smiling cannot be over-emphasized. If you smile, it is likely to encourage others to smile, too. You don’t need to smile every second of the day, but when you’re out and about, smiling will help brighten your mood, and the moods of others.
Practice smiling in the mirror. You might feel silly doing this, but practicing a bit will help you flash your best smile.
2. Knowing When to Tone It Down
2-1. Know when to tone it down, and when to liven things up.
Sometimes the situation may call for a more low-key type of energy and humor, while other situations may really need someone to be very lively. Try to learn which situations call for what. Listen to the mood of what is going on around you. This will take some practice, but being aware of the feelings of others will help you learn.
For example, a formal dinner party is not the time to be dancing around and telling jokes loudly. While you can still be energetic and lively, you can do it in a more subdued way, by laughing quietly and showing interest in the people around you with a smile on your face.
If you are at an outdoor barbecue, you can probably be a bit more lively and energetic. Especially if there are kids around, who can match your intensity. People will see you and the children enjoying yourselves, and will probably want to join in the fun.
2-2. Pay attention to the moods of those around you.
Being emotionally intelligent means being able to perceive the emotions and mood states of those around you. If you are going to be the funny and energetic person, then it is important that you can read the feelings of others so you don’t overdo it.
If you have just met someone, you can help yourself identify how they are feeling at the moment by chatting with them about something neutral, like the weather. This will give you an idea of their baseline behavior. Then, after talking for a few minutes, try telling a funny joke, or do something silly. Watch carefully for their reaction. Do their eyes light up? Do they smile? Or do you notice a more negative reaction? Do they lower their eyebrows, or glance away nervously? If so, this person is probably not in the mood to be entertained by silliness and jokes, so stick to a more subdued tone.
2-3. Don’t try to compete.
In some situations, you may find yourself in the presence of someone who is more energetic and funny than you could ever dream of being. In this case, there is little point in trying to be the funniest, most energetic person in the room. Instead, let this person take the lead, and simply enjoy being in their presence.
If the person tells a really funny joke, any joke you tell is likely to seem like a dud. In this situation, it’s best just to be friendly and warm rather than trying to be the life of the party.
If you do try to compete with this person, it will probably be obvious to the other people around you that you are trying very hard. It’s best to just let off.
2-4. Don’t force it.
There are some people who seem to never run out of funny things to say, and if you are one of those people, great! However, for most of us, we might think of something funny to say every now and then, and that’s fine. If you’re in a social situation, and you have something to say that you think is funny, then say it. If you don’t, don’t try to force it.
If people are generally not laughing at the things you are saying, give it a rest. Don’t keep trying to force people into laughter. It will only make the situation uncomfortable. Remember that people are some times not in the right frame of mind for light-hearted jokes.
3. Changing Your Lifestyle
3-1. Exercise.
This may be a less obvious way to be more energetic and funny, but exercise is important for good health. If you feel fit and healthy, you will feel less sluggish and lazy. Find exercise that you enjoy, and mix it up if you start to get bored.
For example, if you enjoy jogging, try to get outside and jog for 10-30 minutes each day. This will get your body up and moving, which will help you feel more lively.
You could also try things like yoga, swimming, or team sports such as volleyball, soccer, or basketball.
You could also consider hiring a personal trainer, who will not only help you get in shape, but push you to be more active in general.
3-2. Change your diet.
If you are the type who eats whatever is the most convenient (e.g. packaged foods, sugary sodas, and anything that doesn’t need to be prepared), consider changing up your diet. Switch to eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, and avoid processed food. Replace a few of those sodas with some water infused with fruit or tea.
This will make you feel more energetic and more likely to want to be active and social. You may not notice a difference in the first few days of a major diet change, but if you stick with your healthier eating habits for a few weeks, you will definitely notice a difference.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a treat sometimes. On the contrary, if having ice cream with friends will make you feel happy and energetic, then by all means, do so. However, try to keep most of your eating habits on the healthier side of the spectrum.
3-3. Get enough sleep.
If you aren’t getting enough sleep each night, it’s unlikely that you’re going to be feeling energetic, and probably not in the mood to be laughing and joking around either. Try to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night.
3-4. Accept yourself
You will not feel like being energetic or funny if you feel that you are not valued as a person. Therefore, it’s time to stop beating yourself up for not being the most popular, the best looking, the most outgoing, the tallest, the skinniest, etc. Whatever you are, make the best of it.
If you are able to accept yourself, people will notice your increased confidence, and be more drawn to you. This will encourage your energy and your willingness to come out of your shell.
3-5. Surround yourself with supportive people.
If you have friends or family in your life who bring you down, are constantly criticizing you, and spend most of their time complaining and being negative, distance yourself from these people. They will only bring you down. Instead, find people who bring out the best in you, and who encourage your energy.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you can only be friends with people who are very energetic and funny. Instead, it means that you should surround yourself with the people who make you feel your best. They may be quiet and shy, or they may be super outgoing. It doesn’t matter as long as they help you be you.
3-6. Listen to lively music.
If you’re feeling low, try putting on your favorite dance music, and dance around if you want. Even if you just listen to the music, it will help brighten up your mood.
Tips
Don’t dwell on negative things that happen to you. It can be easy to get caught up analyzing every social situation and encounter you have, trying to figure out what you could have done better. Avoid this! Let things happen as they will, and enjoy the moment as much as you can.
Warnings
You can’t make everyone like you. Just because someone didn’t like you much doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. Don’t spend your days trying to do this, or you will inevitably be disappointed and drained of your energy from so much effort.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:50",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Funny and Energetic\\n1-1. Be up for anything.\\nWhen people ask you to go places and do things, go! People will find your up-for-anything attitude encouraging. If nobody has any ideas, then make your own suggestions about fun things to go and do.\\nTry to suggest active, fun things, such as mini-golf or having a spontaneous picnic in the park. Making suggestions like staying in and watching a movie or playing video games doesn't demonstrate your energy.\\n1-2. Try to stay positive.\\nPeople who are seen as “energetic” are often smiling and happy. This doesn’t mean that they never have a bad day, but rather that they try to keep a positive attitude, and see the humor in a bad situation. When something gets you down, just remind yourself that things will all work out one way or another, so it's best to stay as positive as possible.\\nWhen you talk to people, let this positive attitude spread. Try to remind people of the positive aspects of life. It’s not a bad idea to humor people when they are complaining about something bad that happened to them, but you can also try to help them see positive aspects of the situation.\\n1-3. Break out of your comfort zone.\\nIt is easy to get into a routine where we do the same thing day-in and day-out. While this is easy and comfortable, it can also cause us to feel bored and stagnant. To be more energetic, try doing things that get you out of that comfort zone, and challenge you to something new. This will leave you feeling invigorated and excited about life.\\nIf you want to practice your ability to be funny, you could do something really challenging, like signing up for an open mic night at a local comedy club.\\nTry a new physical activity. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try Jiu Jitsu or CrossFit, whatever it may be, don’t put it off anymore! You may find that you really enjoy it, and have a new hobby that helps you stay active. In the worst case, you will have tried it out and realized it’s not for you.\\nGo to a social event to meet new people. Find a local event that interests you, and go by yourself. This is a great way to challenge and improve your social skills, and you will likely make a few new friends along the way.\\n1-4. Don’t take yourself too seriously.\\nIf people sense that you are uptight and insecure, they can’t view you as an energetic and funny at the same time. Part of achieving this is realizing that it’s ok to be silly and goofy. Try to keep a happy, child-like disposition. Many people aspire to be like this, and if you are able to behave this way, people will be drawn to your energy.\\nFor example, don’t be afraid to dance around, make faces, or do silly voices (in appropriate situations). This will demonstrate that you don’t have any problem being silly and will encourage others to feel like they can be silly, too.\\n1-5. Let your jokes reflect your personality.\\nIf you want to be seen as an energetic person, you probably won’t be telling dark, morbid jokes. Instead, you will probably want to tell jokes that are optimistic, and reflect your energetic and optimistic view of the world.\\nDon’t tell jokes at the expense of other people in the room (or people who are known to the group, but may not be present). It is very difficult to do this without seeming petty and insecure.\\nThis doesn’t mean you can never tell a dark joke. However, remember that many people take your sense of humor as a reflection of who you are as a person, so try to balance the types of jokes you tell accordingly.\\n1-6. Make eye contact.\\nWhen you’re talking to people, try to maintain eye contact. This doesn’t mean you have to stare into their eyes and never look away. Rather, try maintaining eye contact most of the time, and glance away every now and then. If you stare at the ceiling or the ground while you’re talking to someone you will seem nervous and unconfident.\\nThis is important because part of portraying a funny and energetic personality requires confidence.\\n1-7. Use hand gestures when you talk or tell a joke.\\nIf you just stand there when you’re talking without using any sort of hand gestures or body movements, you will seem unenthusiastic about what you’re saying. While you don’t want to over-gesticulate (e.g. use big hand gestures with every sentence) because this can be distracting, using some smaller hand gestures every few sentences will give your conversation some life.\\nThis will also help you keep your conversation flowing well. For many people, gesticulating helps keep you thinking of the next thing you want to say.\\n1-8. Smile.\\nThe importance of smiling cannot be over-emphasized. If you smile, it is likely to encourage others to smile, too. You don’t need to smile every second of the day, but when you’re out and about, smiling will help brighten your mood, and the moods of others.\\nPractice smiling in the mirror. You might feel silly doing this, but practicing a bit will help you flash your best smile.\\n2. Knowing When to Tone It Down\\n2-1. Know when to tone it down, and when to liven things up.\\nSometimes the situation may call for a more low-key type of energy and humor, while other situations may really need someone to be very lively. Try to learn which situations call for what. Listen to the mood of what is going on around you. This will take some practice, but being aware of the feelings of others will help you learn.\\nFor example, a formal dinner party is not the time to be dancing around and telling jokes loudly. While you can still be energetic and lively, you can do it in a more subdued way, by laughing quietly and showing interest in the people around you with a smile on your face.\\nIf you are at an outdoor barbecue, you can probably be a bit more lively and energetic. Especially if there are kids around, who can match your intensity. People will see you and the children enjoying yourselves, and will probably want to join in the fun.\\n2-2. Pay attention to the moods of those around you.\\nBeing emotionally intelligent means being able to perceive the emotions and mood states of those around you. If you are going to be the funny and energetic person, then it is important that you can read the feelings of others so you don’t overdo it.\\nIf you have just met someone, you can help yourself identify how they are feeling at the moment by chatting with them about something neutral, like the weather. This will give you an idea of their baseline behavior. Then, after talking for a few minutes, try telling a funny joke, or do something silly. Watch carefully for their reaction. Do their eyes light up? Do they smile? Or do you notice a more negative reaction? Do they lower their eyebrows, or glance away nervously? If so, this person is probably not in the mood to be entertained by silliness and jokes, so stick to a more subdued tone.\\n2-3. Don’t try to compete.\\nIn some situations, you may find yourself in the presence of someone who is more energetic and funny than you could ever dream of being. In this case, there is little point in trying to be the funniest, most energetic person in the room. Instead, let this person take the lead, and simply enjoy being in their presence.\\nIf the person tells a really funny joke, any joke you tell is likely to seem like a dud. In this situation, it’s best just to be friendly and warm rather than trying to be the life of the party.\\nIf you do try to compete with this person, it will probably be obvious to the other people around you that you are trying very hard. It’s best to just let off.\\n2-4. Don’t force it.\\nThere are some people who seem to never run out of funny things to say, and if you are one of those people, great! However, for most of us, we might think of something funny to say every now and then, and that’s fine. If you’re in a social situation, and you have something to say that you think is funny, then say it. If you don’t, don’t try to force it.\\nIf people are generally not laughing at the things you are saying, give it a rest. Don’t keep trying to force people into laughter. It will only make the situation uncomfortable. Remember that people are some times not in the right frame of mind for light-hearted jokes.\\n3. Changing Your Lifestyle\\n3-1. Exercise.\\nThis may be a less obvious way to be more energetic and funny, but exercise is important for good health. If you feel fit and healthy, you will feel less sluggish and lazy. Find exercise that you enjoy, and mix it up if you start to get bored.\\nFor example, if you enjoy jogging, try to get outside and jog for 10-30 minutes each day. This will get your body up and moving, which will help you feel more lively.\\nYou could also try things like yoga, swimming, or team sports such as volleyball, soccer, or basketball.\\nYou could also consider hiring a personal trainer, who will not only help you get in shape, but push you to be more active in general.\\n3-2. Change your diet.\\nIf you are the type who eats whatever is the most convenient (e.g. packaged foods, sugary sodas, and anything that doesn’t need to be prepared), consider changing up your diet. Switch to eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, and avoid processed food. Replace a few of those sodas with some water infused with fruit or tea.\\nThis will make you feel more energetic and more likely to want to be active and social. You may not notice a difference in the first few days of a major diet change, but if you stick with your healthier eating habits for a few weeks, you will definitely notice a difference.\\nThis doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a treat sometimes. On the contrary, if having ice cream with friends will make you feel happy and energetic, then by all means, do so. However, try to keep most of your eating habits on the healthier side of the spectrum.\\n3-3. Get enough sleep.\\nIf you aren’t getting enough sleep each night, it’s unlikely that you’re going to be feeling energetic, and probably not in the mood to be laughing and joking around either. Try to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night.\\n3-4. Accept yourself\\nYou will not feel like being energetic or funny if you feel that you are not valued as a person. Therefore, it’s time to stop beating yourself up for not being the most popular, the best looking, the most outgoing, the tallest, the skinniest, etc. Whatever you are, make the best of it. \\nIf you are able to accept yourself, people will notice your increased confidence, and be more drawn to you. This will encourage your energy and your willingness to come out of your shell.\\n3-5. Surround yourself with supportive people.\\nIf you have friends or family in your life who bring you down, are constantly criticizing you, and spend most of their time complaining and being negative, distance yourself from these people. They will only bring you down. Instead, find people who bring out the best in you, and who encourage your energy.\\nThis doesn’t necessarily mean that you can only be friends with people who are very energetic and funny. Instead, it means that you should surround yourself with the people who make you feel your best. They may be quiet and shy, or they may be super outgoing. It doesn’t matter as long as they help you be you.\\n3-6. Listen to lively music.\\nIf you’re feeling low, try putting on your favorite dance music, and dance around if you want. Even if you just listen to the music, it will help brighten up your mood.\\nTips\\nDon’t dwell on negative things that happen to you. It can be easy to get caught up analyzing every social situation and encounter you have, trying to figure out what you could have done better. Avoid this! Let things happen as they will, and enjoy the moment as much as you can.\\nWarnings\\nYou can’t make everyone like you. Just because someone didn’t like you much doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. Don’t spend your days trying to do this, or you will inevitably be disappointed and drained of your energy from so much effort.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We’ve all met people who seem to be always “on.” You know, that person who, every time you see them, is bursting with energy, and is always smiling and laughing. Most of us would like to be like that, too, but it doesn’t come naturally for everyone. If you aspire to be more funny and energetic, you can take steps to change your lifestyle and your habits in order to become the person you want to be.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Funny and Energetic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be up for anything.\", \"描述\": \"When people ask you to go places and do things, go! People will find your up-for-anything attitude encouraging. If nobody has any ideas, then make your own suggestions about fun things to go and do.\\nTry to suggest active, fun things, such as mini-golf or having a spontaneous picnic in the park. Making suggestions like staying in and watching a movie or playing video games doesn't demonstrate your energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to stay positive.\", \"描述\": \"People who are seen as “energetic” are often smiling and happy. This doesn’t mean that they never have a bad day, but rather that they try to keep a positive attitude, and see the humor in a bad situation. When something gets you down, just remind yourself that things will all work out one way or another, so it's best to stay as positive as possible.\\nWhen you talk to people, let this positive attitude spread. Try to remind people of the positive aspects of life. It’s not a bad idea to humor people when they are complaining about something bad that happened to them, but you can also try to help them see positive aspects of the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to get into a routine where we do the same thing day-in and day-out. While this is easy and comfortable, it can also cause us to feel bored and stagnant. To be more energetic, try doing things that get you out of that comfort zone, and challenge you to something new. This will leave you feeling invigorated and excited about life.\\nIf you want to practice your ability to be funny, you could do something really challenging, like signing up for an open mic night at a local comedy club.\\nTry a new physical activity. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try Jiu Jitsu or CrossFit, whatever it may be, don’t put it off anymore! You may find that you really enjoy it, and have a new hobby that helps you stay active. In the worst case, you will have tried it out and realized it’s not for you.\\nGo to a social event to meet new people. Find a local event that interests you, and go by yourself. This is a great way to challenge and improve your social skills, and you will likely make a few new friends along the way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t take yourself too seriously.\", \"描述\": \"If people sense that you are uptight and insecure, they can’t view you as an energetic and funny at the same time. Part of achieving this is realizing that it’s ok to be silly and goofy. Try to keep a happy, child-like disposition. Many people aspire to be like this, and if you are able to behave this way, people will be drawn to your energy.\\nFor example, don’t be afraid to dance around, make faces, or do silly voices (in appropriate situations). This will demonstrate that you don’t have any problem being silly and will encourage others to feel like they can be silly, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your jokes reflect your personality.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be seen as an energetic person, you probably won’t be telling dark, morbid jokes. Instead, you will probably want to tell jokes that are optimistic, and reflect your energetic and optimistic view of the world.\\nDon’t tell jokes at the expense of other people in the room (or people who are known to the group, but may not be present). It is very difficult to do this without seeming petty and insecure.\\nThis doesn’t mean you can never tell a dark joke. However, remember that many people take your sense of humor as a reflection of who you are as a person, so try to balance the types of jokes you tell accordingly.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re talking to people, try to maintain eye contact. This doesn’t mean you have to stare into their eyes and never look away. Rather, try maintaining eye contact most of the time, and glance away every now and then. If you stare at the ceiling or the ground while you’re talking to someone you will seem nervous and unconfident.\\nThis is important because part of portraying a funny and energetic personality requires confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use hand gestures when you talk or tell a joke.\", \"描述\": \"If you just stand there when you’re talking without using any sort of hand gestures or body movements, you will seem unenthusiastic about what you’re saying. While you don’t want to over-gesticulate (e.g. use big hand gestures with every sentence) because this can be distracting, using some smaller hand gestures every few sentences will give your conversation some life.\\nThis will also help you keep your conversation flowing well. For many people, gesticulating helps keep you thinking of the next thing you want to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"The importance of smiling cannot be over-emphasized. If you smile, it is likely to encourage others to smile, too. You don’t need to smile every second of the day, but when you’re out and about, smiling will help brighten your mood, and the moods of others.\\nPractice smiling in the mirror. You might feel silly doing this, but practicing a bit will help you flash your best smile.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Knowing When to Tone It Down\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know when to tone it down, and when to liven things up.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the situation may call for a more low-key type of energy and humor, while other situations may really need someone to be very lively. Try to learn which situations call for what. Listen to the mood of what is going on around you. This will take some practice, but being aware of the feelings of others will help you learn.\\nFor example, a formal dinner party is not the time to be dancing around and telling jokes loudly. While you can still be energetic and lively, you can do it in a more subdued way, by laughing quietly and showing interest in the people around you with a smile on your face.\\nIf you are at an outdoor barbecue, you can probably be a bit more lively and energetic. Especially if there are kids around, who can match your intensity. People will see you and the children enjoying yourselves, and will probably want to join in the fun.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the moods of those around you.\", \"描述\": \"Being emotionally intelligent means being able to perceive the emotions and mood states of those around you. If you are going to be the funny and energetic person, then it is important that you can read the feelings of others so you don’t overdo it.\\nIf you have just met someone, you can help yourself identify how they are feeling at the moment by chatting with them about something neutral, like the weather. This will give you an idea of their baseline behavior. Then, after talking for a few minutes, try telling a funny joke, or do something silly. Watch carefully for their reaction. Do their eyes light up? Do they smile? Or do you notice a more negative reaction? Do they lower their eyebrows, or glance away nervously? If so, this person is probably not in the mood to be entertained by silliness and jokes, so stick to a more subdued tone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t try to compete.\", \"描述\": \"In some situations, you may find yourself in the presence of someone who is more energetic and funny than you could ever dream of being. In this case, there is little point in trying to be the funniest, most energetic person in the room. Instead, let this person take the lead, and simply enjoy being in their presence.\\nIf the person tells a really funny joke, any joke you tell is likely to seem like a dud. In this situation, it’s best just to be friendly and warm rather than trying to be the life of the party.\\nIf you do try to compete with this person, it will probably be obvious to the other people around you that you are trying very hard. It’s best to just let off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t force it.\", \"描述\": \"There are some people who seem to never run out of funny things to say, and if you are one of those people, great! However, for most of us, we might think of something funny to say every now and then, and that’s fine. If you’re in a social situation, and you have something to say that you think is funny, then say it. If you don’t, don’t try to force it.\\nIf people are generally not laughing at the things you are saying, give it a rest. Don’t keep trying to force people into laughter. It will only make the situation uncomfortable. Remember that people are some times not in the right frame of mind for light-hearted jokes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"描述\": \"This may be a less obvious way to be more energetic and funny, but exercise is important for good health. If you feel fit and healthy, you will feel less sluggish and lazy. Find exercise that you enjoy, and mix it up if you start to get bored.\\nFor example, if you enjoy jogging, try to get outside and jog for 10-30 minutes each day. This will get your body up and moving, which will help you feel more lively.\\nYou could also try things like yoga, swimming, or team sports such as volleyball, soccer, or basketball.\\nYou could also consider hiring a personal trainer, who will not only help you get in shape, but push you to be more active in general.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Change your diet.\", \"描述\": \"If you are the type who eats whatever is the most convenient (e.g. packaged foods, sugary sodas, and anything that doesn’t need to be prepared), consider changing up your diet. Switch to eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, and avoid processed food. Replace a few of those sodas with some water infused with fruit or tea.\\nThis will make you feel more energetic and more likely to want to be active and social. You may not notice a difference in the first few days of a major diet change, but if you stick with your healthier eating habits for a few weeks, you will definitely notice a difference.\\nThis doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a treat sometimes. On the contrary, if having ice cream with friends will make you feel happy and energetic, then by all means, do so. However, try to keep most of your eating habits on the healthier side of the spectrum.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t getting enough sleep each night, it’s unlikely that you’re going to be feeling energetic, and probably not in the mood to be laughing and joking around either. Try to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept yourself\", \"描述\": \"You will not feel like being energetic or funny if you feel that you are not valued as a person. Therefore, it’s time to stop beating yourself up for not being the most popular, the best looking, the most outgoing, the tallest, the skinniest, etc. Whatever you are, make the best of it. \\nIf you are able to accept yourself, people will notice your increased confidence, and be more drawn to you. This will encourage your energy and your willingness to come out of your shell.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with supportive people.\", \"描述\": \"If you have friends or family in your life who bring you down, are constantly criticizing you, and spend most of their time complaining and being negative, distance yourself from these people. They will only bring you down. Instead, find people who bring out the best in you, and who encourage your energy.\\nThis doesn’t necessarily mean that you can only be friends with people who are very energetic and funny. Instead, it means that you should surround yourself with the people who make you feel your best. They may be quiet and shy, or they may be super outgoing. It doesn’t matter as long as they help you be you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to lively music.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re feeling low, try putting on your favorite dance music, and dance around if you want. Even if you just listen to the music, it will help brighten up your mood.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t dwell on negative things that happen to you. It can be easy to get caught up analyzing every social situation and encounter you have, trying to figure out what you could have done better. Avoid this! Let things happen as they will, and enjoy the moment as much as you can.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You can’t make everyone like you. Just because someone didn’t like you much doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. Don’t spend your days trying to do this, or you will inevitably be disappointed and drained of your energy from so much effort.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,751 | How to Be Funny to a Guy over Text: 12 Ways to Make Him Laugh | 1. “Are you an eraser? When I think about you, everything else disappears.”
Send a text that’s cute and silly to make your guy smile.
Sometimes, a cheesy text is the best way to go because it shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. Here are a couple more examples to choose from:
“Are you a loan? Because you’ve got all my interest.”
“Are you a charger? Because I’m dying for you.”
2. “Do you like raisins? How about a date?”
Use a pun to add playful energy into a conversation.
Sure, puns can be a little silly, but humor can deepen your bond and leave you both smiling. You can even start a pun-off to see who can come up with the punniest responses.
“If you were a veggie, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
“You must be Australian because you meet all my koala-fications.”
3. “I’d take you to a movie, but they don’t let you bring your own snacks.”
Add flattery into your jokes to make him feel good about himself.
Guys like getting compliments! You can use these lines on a guy you want to ask out, or send a funny compliment to your boyfriend to add flirty energy to his day.
“I believe in following dreams. So...can I get your Instagram?”
“Glad I have my library card. All I wanna do is check you out.”
4. “I’m definitely not flirting with you. I’m just being very nice to someone very attractive.”
Tease him to add a flirty edge to the conversation.
Use gentle sarcasm to let him know you’ve got a playful sense of humor and can keep him on his toes. If you’re worried about how he’ll interpret the message, add a 😂 or 😉 emoji to clarify that you’re joking and having fun.
“You know, I had a rule about never dating a Mets’ fan. Guess I made an exception for you.”
“It’s too bad I don’t like dating guys who are cuter than me.”
5. “Did you really think you could win me over with that cute smile?”
Combine humor with a challenge to keep him interested.
The secret to building attraction is to mix excitement and fun with tension. A fun text like this example lets you compliment the guy without being too easy on him.
“Miss you? Who said anything about me missing you? 😉”
“👀 That classic charm won’t work on me. You’ll have to try something else.”
6. “Are you a keyboard? You’re kind of my type.”
Text a nerdy or geeky pickup line to appeal to your favorite brainiac.
A nerdy text shows off your cute, wholesome side, and it’ll prove to your guy that you appreciate his intellectual side. Bonus points if you can reference his favorite fandom or an element of nerd culture.
“I want our love to be like pi. Irrational and endless.”
“All I want to do is curl up and watch Harry Potter with you because I a-Dumbledore you.”
7. “You and I make a great 🍐”
Use emojis to liven up your texts.
You can let emojis add flair to your puns or even make jokes based wholly on emojis. Here are a few examples:
“Hi. Just wanted to say I see you in my future 🔮👀.
Send a 🐕 emoji. Then say, “Dexter! Get back here. Sorry, he must like you as much as I do.”
8. “I love you more than I love pizza. That’s saying a lot.”
Compare him to something you both love to create an instant inside joke.
If you both love mint chip ice cream, tell him he’s even sweeter. If you bonded over a specific band, tell him that when he sings in the shower, he puts the lead singer to shame.
“You’re smoother than a caramel macchiato.”
“I like you almost as much as I like Late Night at Ozzy’s Diner.”
9. “Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on earth hasn’t stood next to you.”
Who says you can’t be funny and romantic at the same time?
Send him a message that’s funny on the outside, but genuine on the inside by letting him know you appreciate him. Everyone likes to hear words of affirmation! As you create your message, be yourself, and let your unique sense of humor shine through.
“Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.”
If he’s not around, send him a photo of you next to an empty chair. Then, draw him into the photo in stick figure form and text, “Wish you were here!”
10. “I’m here! So what are your other two wishes?”
Joke about how amazing you are for a sassy approach.
People find a good sense of humor really attractive, and humor goes a long way towards building connection. It’s even better if you can show that you can joke about yourself, so step outside your comfort zone! Send a joke that lets him know you’re a total catch.
“Sorry I wasn’t in your past. Can I make it up to you by being part of your future?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to send you another pic?”
11. “You keep running through my head! Stop distracting me!”
Playfully tell him that he makes it hard to focus.
You can use a text like this to make him feel special without having to get too emotional if deep conversations aren’t your vibe. That way, he’ll know that he’s been on your mind, but you’ll be able to keep the conversation light and funny.
“My boss asked me why I’m so behind today. I told him I couldn’t stop thinking about you. JK. But seriously...”
“Thinking about you all day has made my focus at work go 📉”
12. “I know you’re busy today, but I hope I’m on your to-do list.”
Turn up the heat by sending a dirty joke.
You can let him know you’re thinking about him and looking forward to seeing him later for some quality alone time. Just be sure to hold off on sending a spicier message until you know that he’ll feel comfortable with it.
“Liked your jeans today. Can’t wait to see them on the floor tonight.”
“I was feeling a little off today… but don’t worry. You’ve turned me on again 😏”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “Are you an eraser? When I think about you, everything else disappears.”\\nSend a text that’s cute and silly to make your guy smile.\\nSometimes, a cheesy text is the best way to go because it shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. Here are a couple more examples to choose from:\\n“Are you a loan? Because you’ve got all my interest.”\\n“Are you a charger? Because I’m dying for you.”\\n2. “Do you like raisins? How about a date?”\\nUse a pun to add playful energy into a conversation.\\nSure, puns can be a little silly, but humor can deepen your bond and leave you both smiling. You can even start a pun-off to see who can come up with the punniest responses.\\n“If you were a veggie, you’d be a cute-cumber.”\\n“You must be Australian because you meet all my koala-fications.”\\n3. “I’d take you to a movie, but they don’t let you bring your own snacks.”\\nAdd flattery into your jokes to make him feel good about himself.\\nGuys like getting compliments! You can use these lines on a guy you want to ask out, or send a funny compliment to your boyfriend to add flirty energy to his day.\\n“I believe in following dreams. So...can I get your Instagram?”\\n“Glad I have my library card. All I wanna do is check you out.”\\n4. “I’m definitely not flirting with you. I’m just being very nice to someone very attractive.”\\nTease him to add a flirty edge to the conversation.\\nUse gentle sarcasm to let him know you’ve got a playful sense of humor and can keep him on his toes. If you’re worried about how he’ll interpret the message, add a 😂 or 😉 emoji to clarify that you’re joking and having fun.\\n“You know, I had a rule about never dating a Mets’ fan. Guess I made an exception for you.”\\n“It’s too bad I don’t like dating guys who are cuter than me.”\\n5. “Did you really think you could win me over with that cute smile?”\\nCombine humor with a challenge to keep him interested.\\nThe secret to building attraction is to mix excitement and fun with tension. A fun text like this example lets you compliment the guy without being too easy on him.\\n“Miss you? Who said anything about me missing you? 😉”\\n“👀 That classic charm won’t work on me. You’ll have to try something else.”\\n6. “Are you a keyboard? You’re kind of my type.”\\nText a nerdy or geeky pickup line to appeal to your favorite brainiac.\\nA nerdy text shows off your cute, wholesome side, and it’ll prove to your guy that you appreciate his intellectual side. Bonus points if you can reference his favorite fandom or an element of nerd culture.\\n“I want our love to be like pi. Irrational and endless.”\\n“All I want to do is curl up and watch Harry Potter with you because I a-Dumbledore you.”\\n7. “You and I make a great 🍐”\\nUse emojis to liven up your texts.\\nYou can let emojis add flair to your puns or even make jokes based wholly on emojis. Here are a few examples:\\n“Hi. Just wanted to say I see you in my future 🔮👀.\\nSend a 🐕 emoji. Then say, “Dexter! Get back here. Sorry, he must like you as much as I do.”\\n8. “I love you more than I love pizza. That’s saying a lot.”\\nCompare him to something you both love to create an instant inside joke.\\nIf you both love mint chip ice cream, tell him he’s even sweeter. If you bonded over a specific band, tell him that when he sings in the shower, he puts the lead singer to shame.\\n“You’re smoother than a caramel macchiato.”\\n“I like you almost as much as I like Late Night at Ozzy’s Diner.”\\n9. “Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on earth hasn’t stood next to you.”\\nWho says you can’t be funny and romantic at the same time?\\nSend him a message that’s funny on the outside, but genuine on the inside by letting him know you appreciate him. Everyone likes to hear words of affirmation! As you create your message, be yourself, and let your unique sense of humor shine through.\\n“Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.”\\nIf he’s not around, send him a photo of you next to an empty chair. Then, draw him into the photo in stick figure form and text, “Wish you were here!”\\n10. “I’m here! So what are your other two wishes?”\\nJoke about how amazing you are for a sassy approach.\\nPeople find a good sense of humor really attractive, and humor goes a long way towards building connection. It’s even better if you can show that you can joke about yourself, so step outside your comfort zone! Send a joke that lets him know you’re a total catch.\\n“Sorry I wasn’t in your past. Can I make it up to you by being part of your future?”\\n“Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to send you another pic?”\\n11. “You keep running through my head! Stop distracting me!”\\nPlayfully tell him that he makes it hard to focus.\\nYou can use a text like this to make him feel special without having to get too emotional if deep conversations aren’t your vibe. That way, he’ll know that he’s been on your mind, but you’ll be able to keep the conversation light and funny.\\n“My boss asked me why I’m so behind today. I told him I couldn’t stop thinking about you. JK. But seriously...”\\n“Thinking about you all day has made my focus at work go 📉”\\n12. “I know you’re busy today, but I hope I’m on your to-do list.”\\nTurn up the heat by sending a dirty joke.\\nYou can let him know you’re thinking about him and looking forward to seeing him later for some quality alone time. Just be sure to hold off on sending a spicier message until you know that he’ll feel comfortable with it.\\n“Liked your jeans today. Can’t wait to see them on the floor tonight.”\\n“I was feeling a little off today… but don’t worry. You’ve turned me on again 😏”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want to send a text that you know will make him smile? Showing off your dazzling sense of humor over text will make any guy like you even more. Whether you’re looking to make your boyfriend laugh or get the attention of the new cutie you met, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a foolproof list of example texts and tips you can use to create unique and funny messages.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Are you an eraser? When I think about you, everything else disappears.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send a text that’s cute and silly to make your guy smile.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, a cheesy text is the best way to go because it shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. Here are a couple more examples to choose from:\\n“Are you a loan? Because you’ve got all my interest.”\\n“Are you a charger? Because I’m dying for you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“Do you like raisins? How about a date?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a pun to add playful energy into a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, puns can be a little silly, but humor can deepen your bond and leave you both smiling. You can even start a pun-off to see who can come up with the punniest responses.\\n“If you were a veggie, you’d be a cute-cumber.”\\n“You must be Australian because you meet all my koala-fications.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“I’d take you to a movie, but they don’t let you bring your own snacks.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add flattery into your jokes to make him feel good about himself.\", \"描述\": \"Guys like getting compliments! You can use these lines on a guy you want to ask out, or send a funny compliment to your boyfriend to add flirty energy to his day.\\n“I believe in following dreams. So...can I get your Instagram?”\\n“Glad I have my library card. All I wanna do is check you out.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“I’m definitely not flirting with you. I’m just being very nice to someone very attractive.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tease him to add a flirty edge to the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Use gentle sarcasm to let him know you’ve got a playful sense of humor and can keep him on his toes. If you’re worried about how he’ll interpret the message, add a 😂 or 😉 emoji to clarify that you’re joking and having fun.\\n“You know, I had a rule about never dating a Mets’ fan. Guess I made an exception for you.”\\n“It’s too bad I don’t like dating guys who are cuter than me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“Did you really think you could win me over with that cute smile?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Combine humor with a challenge to keep him interested.\", \"描述\": \"The secret to building attraction is to mix excitement and fun with tension. A fun text like this example lets you compliment the guy without being too easy on him.\\n“Miss you? Who said anything about me missing you? 😉”\\n“👀 That classic charm won’t work on me. You’ll have to try something else.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“Are you a keyboard? You’re kind of my type.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Text a nerdy or geeky pickup line to appeal to your favorite brainiac.\", \"描述\": \"A nerdy text shows off your cute, wholesome side, and it’ll prove to your guy that you appreciate his intellectual side. Bonus points if you can reference his favorite fandom or an element of nerd culture.\\n“I want our love to be like pi. Irrational and endless.”\\n“All I want to do is curl up and watch Harry Potter with you because I a-Dumbledore you.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“You and I make a great 🍐”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use emojis to liven up your texts.\", \"描述\": \"You can let emojis add flair to your puns or even make jokes based wholly on emojis. Here are a few examples:\\n“Hi. Just wanted to say I see you in my future 🔮👀.\\nSend a 🐕 emoji. Then say, “Dexter! Get back here. Sorry, he must like you as much as I do.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“I love you more than I love pizza. That’s saying a lot.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compare him to something you both love to create an instant inside joke.\", \"描述\": \"If you both love mint chip ice cream, tell him he’s even sweeter. If you bonded over a specific band, tell him that when he sings in the shower, he puts the lead singer to shame.\\n“You’re smoother than a caramel macchiato.”\\n“I like you almost as much as I like Late Night at Ozzy’s Diner.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on earth hasn’t stood next to you.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Who says you can’t be funny and romantic at the same time?\", \"描述\": \"Send him a message that’s funny on the outside, but genuine on the inside by letting him know you appreciate him. Everyone likes to hear words of affirmation! As you create your message, be yourself, and let your unique sense of humor shine through.\\n“Life without you is like a broken pencil…pointless.”\\nIf he’s not around, send him a photo of you next to an empty chair. Then, draw him into the photo in stick figure form and text, “Wish you were here!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“I’m here! So what are your other two wishes?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Joke about how amazing you are for a sassy approach.\", \"描述\": \"People find a good sense of humor really attractive, and humor goes a long way towards building connection. It’s even better if you can show that you can joke about yourself, so step outside your comfort zone! Send a joke that lets him know you’re a total catch.\\n“Sorry I wasn’t in your past. Can I make it up to you by being part of your future?”\\n“Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to send you another pic?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“You keep running through my head! Stop distracting me!”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Playfully tell him that he makes it hard to focus.\", \"描述\": \"You can use a text like this to make him feel special without having to get too emotional if deep conversations aren’t your vibe. That way, he’ll know that he’s been on your mind, but you’ll be able to keep the conversation light and funny.\\n“My boss asked me why I’m so behind today. I told him I couldn’t stop thinking about you. JK. But seriously...”\\n“Thinking about you all day has made my focus at work go 📉”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"“I know you’re busy today, but I hope I’m on your to-do list.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turn up the heat by sending a dirty joke.\", \"描述\": \"You can let him know you’re thinking about him and looking forward to seeing him later for some quality alone time. Just be sure to hold off on sending a spicier message until you know that he’ll feel comfortable with it.\\n“Liked your jeans today. Can’t wait to see them on the floor tonight.”\\n“I was feeling a little off today… but don’t worry. You’ve turned me on again 😏”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,752 | How to Be Generous | 1. Be generous with your gratitude.
A simple “thank you” can mean the world.
Donations and charity work are great ways to give back, but just offering your genuine appreciation for friends and family can boost their mood, too. Plus, gratitude also improves your relationships—and practicing thanks can also make you more generous over time. It's a win-win-win!
You can thank someone any time, for anything. Send your mom a text out of the blue: “Was just thinking about everything you’ve done for me. Thank you so much.”
When you notice that your son took out the trash, leave him a note on his desk with his favorite candy bar: “Thank you so much, honey! You rock.”
If your partner listens to you vent about a tough problem, thank them for their empathetic ear. “I hope you know how much I appreciate this—I really needed to talk.”
2. Flatter the people around you.
People underestimate the power of sincere compliments.
By letting someone know that their hair shines or their work rocks, you can transform their day, boost their mood, and raise their confidence. Offer specific, genuine compliments regularly. Just remember to keep them appropriate; admiring someone’s looks in the workplace, for instance, isn’t a good idea.
Let a young person in your life know that you’re proud of them: “I hope you know how awesome I think you are. You’re so passionate about science—it’s amazing.”
Tell your cashier that they have a great look: “I couldn’t love those nails more. You have such a fun, unique style!”
Leave a fun note on your neighbor’s door: “Your Halloween decorations look AMAZING. I couldn’t believe it. So good!”
3. Perform random acts of kindness.
You don’t need an excuse or organized event to give someone joy.
Random acts of kindness are all about sudden inspiration, good intentions, and getting creative. Take a second to think—what totally unprompted thing could you do right now to brighten someone’s day? Not only will your gesture make their week, but it could also inspire them to pay it forward, too.
Make a heartfelt card for people in hospice care. If you have kids, involve them. Not only will you be teaching generosity, but a child’s creativity can make these cards even more touching.
Go through the drive-through and pay for the person behind you. Your kindness will make their day, and they may even start a chain that pays it forward!
Baked goods or flowers can totally brighten someone's day! Drop off a little treat with your new neighbors or your morning bus driver.
4. Donate blood.
A single blood donation can save the lives of 3 people.
It’s pretty amazing—go into your local blood drive to give some blood, enjoy juice and cookies, and walk away knowing that you just did some serious good. If you're feeling inspired, visit the American Red Cross to learn more about how you can host a blood drive event.
Typically, you have to be over 110 pounds (49.9 kg), at least 17 years of age, and in good health to donate.
In most cases, you'll have to wait 56 days in between each blood donation.
5. Volunteer in your community.
Charities need enthusiastic volunteers to help achieve their goals.
That could be you! Think of an issue that you’re passionate about or a need that you see in your local community. Then, search for charities that aim to help (if you're not sure where to look, start online!). Donating your time doesn’t just make you feel amazing, but it’s also a great way to give back.
Care about the environment? Join in on a weekend beach clean.
Maybe you’re passionate about puppies. Reach out to your local humane society and see if they need some extra help.
You might live in a city where many homeless people are struggling. Homeless shelters are always looking for kindhearted, helping hands.
6. Donate money to a charity you respect.
Giving your own savings to a worthy cause is an extremely generous act.
Donate what you can to organizations that you admire. Your donation will allow tons of passionate, knowledgeable people to continue doing good in the world and helping solve major issues facing people today. Remember that even a little can make a big difference. And finally, vet the charities you're donating to:
Research your choice of charity first (there are scammers out there looking to take generous peoples’ money!)
Look out for look-alikes—some organizations will try to scam you by choosing similar names to well-known orgs
If you’re unsure, ask the charity for written materials on their programs and finances
7. Use your skills and expertise to help.
Your experience and knowledge are valuable assets.
So, if you can, share them with others—work as a mentor, help someone prepare for a job in your field, or volunteer to teach. With your skillset, you may be in a unique position to be a huge help to relevant organizations.
Maybe you played a sport in college—like soccer. You can volunteer to coach a team of young players looking to improve!
Are you a math whiz? Speak to the schools in your area and ask if they need any extra volunteer tutors.
If you made it far in a tough career, you can help mentor someone just getting started. Maybe your friend of a friend wants to break into tech—coach them through the process!
You could even volunteer with wikiHow. Write an article or edit existing articles to help us teach anyone how to do anything (for free!).
8. Praise a cafe, artist, or business on social media.
Positive posts are free, easy, and can be a huge help to new businesses.
All over your town, people are busy trying to make their dreams come true. A little visibility can mean the world—so if you experience someone’s work and think it’s great, be loud about it. Take to social media and write a rave review. Not only will you make someone’s day—you could help them take off!
Maybe you saw a small, local artist perform; take to Twitter! “I just saw The Rotaries in San Jose. SO good. Everyone needs to check them out ASAP!”
If you just ate a new restaurant that wowed you, share their Facebook page: “Just tried Jeff’s Grille and it was to die for! Stop in before they’re booked!”
9. Check in on someone who might need help.
Show empathy
Mental illness or major life events can take a serious toll on a friend's well-being. Listen to them, celebrate their successes, and continue to check on them—because this can bring more stability and connection into their life. Look out for signs that someone might be struggling, then take action to help:
Help them find top resources and professionals who can help
Research therapists that they can consider seeing
When they have a “win,” even if it’s small, make a big deal out of it: "You finally cleaned out that closet? Wow, congrats! I know that was stressing you out."
10. Spread good news.
Sometimes the world can feel a little dark—brighten someone’s day with a positive.
There are always great things happening out there—in your community, in the world, or even in your circle of friends. Do what you can to make sure the people around you get to experience some of those highlights. This can make a huge difference, and it’s super easy to do!
Research good news happening in the world today (Was a cat saved from a tree? Did a scientist discover a new species?) and share it freely in every conversation.
If someone you know gets a great job or an award, spread the word. Not only will this help create some positivity, but it’ll also make your friend feel celebrated.
Send a tip in to your local news station. If something amazing is happening, your city should know! Reach out to your station to fill them in on the news.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be generous with your gratitude.\\nA simple “thank you” can mean the world.\\nDonations and charity work are great ways to give back, but just offering your genuine appreciation for friends and family can boost their mood, too. Plus, gratitude also improves your relationships—and practicing thanks can also make you more generous over time. It's a win-win-win!\\nYou can thank someone any time, for anything. Send your mom a text out of the blue: “Was just thinking about everything you’ve done for me. Thank you so much.”\\nWhen you notice that your son took out the trash, leave him a note on his desk with his favorite candy bar: “Thank you so much, honey! You rock.”\\nIf your partner listens to you vent about a tough problem, thank them for their empathetic ear. “I hope you know how much I appreciate this—I really needed to talk.”\\n2. Flatter the people around you.\\nPeople underestimate the power of sincere compliments.\\nBy letting someone know that their hair shines or their work rocks, you can transform their day, boost their mood, and raise their confidence. Offer specific, genuine compliments regularly. Just remember to keep them appropriate; admiring someone’s looks in the workplace, for instance, isn’t a good idea. \\nLet a young person in your life know that you’re proud of them: “I hope you know how awesome I think you are. You’re so passionate about science—it’s amazing.”\\nTell your cashier that they have a great look: “I couldn’t love those nails more. You have such a fun, unique style!”\\nLeave a fun note on your neighbor’s door: “Your Halloween decorations look AMAZING. I couldn’t believe it. So good!”\\n3. Perform random acts of kindness.\\nYou don’t need an excuse or organized event to give someone joy.\\nRandom acts of kindness are all about sudden inspiration, good intentions, and getting creative. Take a second to think—what totally unprompted thing could you do right now to brighten someone’s day? Not only will your gesture make their week, but it could also inspire them to pay it forward, too.\\nMake a heartfelt card for people in hospice care. If you have kids, involve them. Not only will you be teaching generosity, but a child’s creativity can make these cards even more touching.\\nGo through the drive-through and pay for the person behind you. Your kindness will make their day, and they may even start a chain that pays it forward!\\nBaked goods or flowers can totally brighten someone's day! Drop off a little treat with your new neighbors or your morning bus driver.\\n4. Donate blood.\\nA single blood donation can save the lives of 3 people.\\nIt’s pretty amazing—go into your local blood drive to give some blood, enjoy juice and cookies, and walk away knowing that you just did some serious good. If you're feeling inspired, visit the American Red Cross to learn more about how you can host a blood drive event.\\nTypically, you have to be over 110 pounds (49.9 kg), at least 17 years of age, and in good health to donate.\\nIn most cases, you'll have to wait 56 days in between each blood donation.\\n5. Volunteer in your community.\\nCharities need enthusiastic volunteers to help achieve their goals.\\nThat could be you! Think of an issue that you’re passionate about or a need that you see in your local community. Then, search for charities that aim to help (if you're not sure where to look, start online!). Donating your time doesn’t just make you feel amazing, but it’s also a great way to give back.\\nCare about the environment? Join in on a weekend beach clean.\\nMaybe you’re passionate about puppies. Reach out to your local humane society and see if they need some extra help.\\nYou might live in a city where many homeless people are struggling. Homeless shelters are always looking for kindhearted, helping hands.\\n6. Donate money to a charity you respect.\\nGiving your own savings to a worthy cause is an extremely generous act.\\nDonate what you can to organizations that you admire. Your donation will allow tons of passionate, knowledgeable people to continue doing good in the world and helping solve major issues facing people today. Remember that even a little can make a big difference. And finally, vet the charities you're donating to:\\nResearch your choice of charity first (there are scammers out there looking to take generous peoples’ money!)\\nLook out for look-alikes—some organizations will try to scam you by choosing similar names to well-known orgs\\nIf you’re unsure, ask the charity for written materials on their programs and finances\\n7. Use your skills and expertise to help.\\nYour experience and knowledge are valuable assets.\\nSo, if you can, share them with others—work as a mentor, help someone prepare for a job in your field, or volunteer to teach. With your skillset, you may be in a unique position to be a huge help to relevant organizations.\\nMaybe you played a sport in college—like soccer. You can volunteer to coach a team of young players looking to improve!\\nAre you a math whiz? Speak to the schools in your area and ask if they need any extra volunteer tutors.\\nIf you made it far in a tough career, you can help mentor someone just getting started. Maybe your friend of a friend wants to break into tech—coach them through the process!\\nYou could even volunteer with wikiHow. Write an article or edit existing articles to help us teach anyone how to do anything (for free!).\\n8. Praise a cafe, artist, or business on social media.\\nPositive posts are free, easy, and can be a huge help to new businesses.\\nAll over your town, people are busy trying to make their dreams come true. A little visibility can mean the world—so if you experience someone’s work and think it’s great, be loud about it. Take to social media and write a rave review. Not only will you make someone’s day—you could help them take off!\\nMaybe you saw a small, local artist perform; take to Twitter! “I just saw The Rotaries in San Jose. SO good. Everyone needs to check them out ASAP!”\\nIf you just ate a new restaurant that wowed you, share their Facebook page: “Just tried Jeff’s Grille and it was to die for! Stop in before they’re booked!”\\n9. Check in on someone who might need help.\\nShow empathy\\nMental illness or major life events can take a serious toll on a friend's well-being. Listen to them, celebrate their successes, and continue to check on them—because this can bring more stability and connection into their life. Look out for signs that someone might be struggling, then take action to help:\\nHelp them find top resources and professionals who can help\\nResearch therapists that they can consider seeing\\nWhen they have a “win,” even if it’s small, make a big deal out of it: \\\"You finally cleaned out that closet? Wow, congrats! I know that was stressing you out.\\\"\\n10. Spread good news.\\nSometimes the world can feel a little dark—brighten someone’s day with a positive.\\nThere are always great things happening out there—in your community, in the world, or even in your circle of friends. Do what you can to make sure the people around you get to experience some of those highlights. This can make a huge difference, and it’s super easy to do!\\nResearch good news happening in the world today (Was a cat saved from a tree? Did a scientist discover a new species?) and share it freely in every conversation.\\nIf someone you know gets a great job or an award, spread the word. Not only will this help create some positivity, but it’ll also make your friend feel celebrated.\\nSend a tip in to your local news station. If something amazing is happening, your city should know! Reach out to your station to fill them in on the news.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We all admire generous people—so why can it be so tough to become a more giving person? With busy schedules and ingrained habits, making time for generosity may feel like a challenge. But there are actually tons of quick (and free!) ways to give back to your community and totally make a difference. Below, we've pulled together a list of ways you can give back right this second. To learn how you can become a more generous person, read on!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be generous with your gratitude.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A simple “thank you” can mean the world.\", \"描述\": \"Donations and charity work are great ways to give back, but just offering your genuine appreciation for friends and family can boost their mood, too. Plus, gratitude also improves your relationships—and practicing thanks can also make you more generous over time. It's a win-win-win!\\nYou can thank someone any time, for anything. Send your mom a text out of the blue: “Was just thinking about everything you’ve done for me. Thank you so much.”\\nWhen you notice that your son took out the trash, leave him a note on his desk with his favorite candy bar: “Thank you so much, honey! You rock.”\\nIf your partner listens to you vent about a tough problem, thank them for their empathetic ear. “I hope you know how much I appreciate this—I really needed to talk.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flatter the people around you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People underestimate the power of sincere compliments.\", \"描述\": \"By letting someone know that their hair shines or their work rocks, you can transform their day, boost their mood, and raise their confidence. Offer specific, genuine compliments regularly. Just remember to keep them appropriate; admiring someone’s looks in the workplace, for instance, isn’t a good idea. \\nLet a young person in your life know that you’re proud of them: “I hope you know how awesome I think you are. You’re so passionate about science—it’s amazing.”\\nTell your cashier that they have a great look: “I couldn’t love those nails more. You have such a fun, unique style!”\\nLeave a fun note on your neighbor’s door: “Your Halloween decorations look AMAZING. I couldn’t believe it. So good!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perform random acts of kindness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t need an excuse or organized event to give someone joy.\", \"描述\": \"Random acts of kindness are all about sudden inspiration, good intentions, and getting creative. Take a second to think—what totally unprompted thing could you do right now to brighten someone’s day? Not only will your gesture make their week, but it could also inspire them to pay it forward, too.\\nMake a heartfelt card for people in hospice care. If you have kids, involve them. Not only will you be teaching generosity, but a child’s creativity can make these cards even more touching.\\nGo through the drive-through and pay for the person behind you. Your kindness will make their day, and they may even start a chain that pays it forward!\\nBaked goods or flowers can totally brighten someone's day! Drop off a little treat with your new neighbors or your morning bus driver.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Donate blood.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A single blood donation can save the lives of 3 people.\", \"描述\": \"It’s pretty amazing—go into your local blood drive to give some blood, enjoy juice and cookies, and walk away knowing that you just did some serious good. If you're feeling inspired, visit the American Red Cross to learn more about how you can host a blood drive event.\\nTypically, you have to be over 110 pounds (49.9 kg), at least 17 years of age, and in good health to donate.\\nIn most cases, you'll have to wait 56 days in between each blood donation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Volunteer in your community.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Charities need enthusiastic volunteers to help achieve their goals.\", \"描述\": \"That could be you! Think of an issue that you’re passionate about or a need that you see in your local community. Then, search for charities that aim to help (if you're not sure where to look, start online!). Donating your time doesn’t just make you feel amazing, but it’s also a great way to give back.\\nCare about the environment? Join in on a weekend beach clean.\\nMaybe you’re passionate about puppies. Reach out to your local humane society and see if they need some extra help.\\nYou might live in a city where many homeless people are struggling. Homeless shelters are always looking for kindhearted, helping hands.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Donate money to a charity you respect.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving your own savings to a worthy cause is an extremely generous act.\", \"描述\": \"Donate what you can to organizations that you admire. Your donation will allow tons of passionate, knowledgeable people to continue doing good in the world and helping solve major issues facing people today. Remember that even a little can make a big difference. And finally, vet the charities you're donating to:\\nResearch your choice of charity first (there are scammers out there looking to take generous peoples’ money!)\\nLook out for look-alikes—some organizations will try to scam you by choosing similar names to well-known orgs\\nIf you’re unsure, ask the charity for written materials on their programs and finances\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your skills and expertise to help.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your experience and knowledge are valuable assets.\", \"描述\": \"So, if you can, share them with others—work as a mentor, help someone prepare for a job in your field, or volunteer to teach. With your skillset, you may be in a unique position to be a huge help to relevant organizations.\\nMaybe you played a sport in college—like soccer. You can volunteer to coach a team of young players looking to improve!\\nAre you a math whiz? Speak to the schools in your area and ask if they need any extra volunteer tutors.\\nIf you made it far in a tough career, you can help mentor someone just getting started. Maybe your friend of a friend wants to break into tech—coach them through the process!\\nYou could even volunteer with wikiHow. Write an article or edit existing articles to help us teach anyone how to do anything (for free!).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Praise a cafe, artist, or business on social media.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Positive posts are free, easy, and can be a huge help to new businesses.\", \"描述\": \"All over your town, people are busy trying to make their dreams come true. A little visibility can mean the world—so if you experience someone’s work and think it’s great, be loud about it. Take to social media and write a rave review. Not only will you make someone’s day—you could help them take off!\\nMaybe you saw a small, local artist perform; take to Twitter! “I just saw The Rotaries in San Jose. SO good. Everyone needs to check them out ASAP!”\\nIf you just ate a new restaurant that wowed you, share their Facebook page: “Just tried Jeff’s Grille and it was to die for! Stop in before they’re booked!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Check in on someone who might need help.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show empathy\", \"描述\": \"Mental illness or major life events can take a serious toll on a friend's well-being. Listen to them, celebrate their successes, and continue to check on them—because this can bring more stability and connection into their life. Look out for signs that someone might be struggling, then take action to help:\\nHelp them find top resources and professionals who can help\\nResearch therapists that they can consider seeing\\nWhen they have a “win,” even if it’s small, make a big deal out of it: \\\"You finally cleaned out that closet? Wow, congrats! I know that was stressing you out.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Spread good news.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes the world can feel a little dark—brighten someone’s day with a positive.\", \"描述\": \"There are always great things happening out there—in your community, in the world, or even in your circle of friends. Do what you can to make sure the people around you get to experience some of those highlights. This can make a huge difference, and it’s super easy to do!\\nResearch good news happening in the world today (Was a cat saved from a tree? Did a scientist discover a new species?) and share it freely in every conversation.\\nIf someone you know gets a great job or an award, spread the word. Not only will this help create some positivity, but it’ll also make your friend feel celebrated.\\nSend a tip in to your local news station. If something amazing is happening, your city should know! Reach out to your station to fill them in on the news.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,753 | How to Be Genuine | 1. Peeling Back the Layers
1-1. Spend some time self-indulgently thinking about who you really are.
Not the façade you put on before you walk into any given group of people, not even the image you give your family, or your closest friends. Get alone and meditate on you. Who are you when you're alone?
If it sparks your interest, try meditating. It can reduce your stress levels to enable better mental clarity. This may enable you to see yourself in a clearer manner.
1-2. Let go of what society says is acceptable.
Everyday we see images of what is "okay." It changes constantly (which proves it doesn't really exist). To be you, you must give up trying to live up to some non-existent standard. There's no more being a prep or a jock or a hipster and there's just being. Labels are the way society defines us. There's no more carrying that Coach purse because it says "Coach" on it. You need a better reason than that!
Throw away your aspirations of fitting into any select group, clique, or social class. If the genuine you is what they are looking for, they will come calling later, when you have established your true identity.
1-3. Make a list of truths about yourself.
Unfortunately, in today's world we're so bombarded with what society expects of us that sometimes we don't even know who we are. We spend years (sometimes decades, sometimes entire lifetimes) molding ourselves to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, burying who we really are under layers of fluff and masks. Take a minute to write down what actually feels like you. It can be things you do, things you are, or things you think -- it could be anything, so long as it's true.
When you have a list of a dozen or so things (as simple as "I am happier in flip flops" or "I seek adventure above all else"), post it somewhere you'll run into it often. Then, when you go to make a comment or when you're reviewing your day, you can see if your behavior is in line with you who really are. Odds are you'll come up with some things you do/say/think that aren't true to you.
1-4. Think about your own family history and culture.
We may not always like where we come from, but there is no escaping the influence our history has on who and what we are. Many people spend a lot of time and effort escaping their past, such as changing the spelling of their names to sound more politically correct, or giving other people too much power to reshape them culturally. Where do you come from? After all, your parents shaped you greatly and your grandparents shaped them. Think about the following:
Your upbringing. What do you remember most vividly about it? How was it different than most people's?
Your location. How did that shape you? What hobbies and personality traits do you have because of it?
Your likes and dislikes. How many of them are shared with your family? How many do you have because of your family?
1-5. Fire your toxic friends.
It's a natural human inclination to strive to be surrounded by people...even when those people drain us. But to really be genuine, to rediscover a you that is happy and natural, those people that leave you exhausted after interacting with them have to be cut out. That's all there is to it. Give yourself thirty seconds to think about it and you'll know exactly who they are.
There are people in the world that just aren't good for us. It's hard to cut them out, especially when we feel like we're being cruel. But it's important not to view this behavior as selfish. Sure, it's in your best interest -- but if you don't act in your best interest, no one will. You're not being selfish, you're being logical.
Forget all the hyped up latest trends unless they fit the genuine you. They last a matter of months -- why would you want to cycle through identities that quickly? Look at your own style and preferences. If a T-shirt and jeans are you, fanfrickin'tastic.
1-6. Quit the games now.
It's easy to think we're honest and sincere -- but in order to function tactfully and appropriately with others, it seems like we've inserted mind games into everyday interactions. That little white lie we tell Gina about how people actually like her, how we hint at asking for something from a friend because we think it's bad manners to ask for too many favors, etc. We're not being us -- we're being who people think we should be. Gotta cut that out.
The two main sticklers are people-pleasing and avoidance. If you find yourself sacrificing your happiness to please others, that first one describes you. And if you avoid saying or doing things simply because they'd be frowned upon or they might be potentially embarrassing, that's the second. Those little voices inside our heads stopping us aren't us -- they're a part of us that's very much so taught and inorganic.
2. Rediscovering Your True Self
2-1. Decide what it means to be "genuine."
This may not be as easy as it seems, considering the immense influence the media has on us all. Sure, we are all unique individuals, but few, if any, people have absolute resistance to the persuasive influence of advertisers, the media, and peer pressure to conform. Because it's so difficult, decide what genuine means to you. The beauty of it is that you get to choose.
Does being genuine mean pursuing your own fashion? Does it mean saying whatever crosses your mind? Does it mean showing your emotions, whatever they are? Does it mean ignoring what's popular? There are many takes on this concept -- what speaks to you?
Studies show that genuineness is one of the most attractive traits you can have.
2-2. Spend time with those who charge you up.
If you've gotten rid of your toxic friends (we all have 'em), this shouldn't be too hard. Who do you crave hanging out with? Who always makes you feel good about yourself? And then think about this: who is the person you are afterward?
We all have versions of ourselves. Some are "worse" than others, as they can't all be the same. The idea here is to bring out the best you and to make that "best you" a constant. And the best you is naturally genuine, obviously.
If you'd really like to be more genuine, try spending time with people who have less than you.
2-3. Wake up!
You know the phrase "stop and smell the roses?" Kinda like that. Tons of us go around in a technology-induced stupor, barely doing the thing we call living. We're unaware of how we come off, how we actually feel, how we influence others, etc. So wake up! Pay attention the world around you. Stop right now and look around your environment. Note 4 things you didn't notice before. Crazy how your mind just sifts out stimuli, huh?
There's so much going on in our heads sometimes it's hard to realize we're playing those games we talked about, especially when we've been playing them since we were babies. If it would help, start watching other people. How are they placating others? How do they phrase things? How do they position their bodies? Once you notice other people not saying and doing what they mean/want, you can notice similar patterns in yourself, waking yourself up.
2-4. Get vulnerable.
When you abandon the mind games and socially acceptable behavior, you're bound to feel vulnerable. You'll no longer be employing those same defense mechanisms that kept you so comfortable before. Scary stuff, man. But when you feel vulnerable, know that it's a good thing and that it will go away. You just gotta get used to being honest and showing how you really feel.
There is a time and a place for everything. If you're sitting in chemistry class and you get a text from your mom yelling at you and you feel like crying, it's definitely best to hold back the tears and finish the test. Know your priorities here. If Jenn said something that upset you, don't start chewing her out if you're upset. Being vulnerable doesn't mean jumping to conclusions! It's still important to employ a level of rationality.
2-5. Be honest.
This one's a tough one. Obviously to be genuine you have to be honest, but how do you stay honest without causing others pain? For example, doctors are instructed not to berate obese patients for their weight, and take a more respectful approach to health.You can strike a balance of honesty and compassion.
Let's take the classic example of, "Do I look fat in this?" Instead of outright saying, "Yep. You do," try something like, "I don't like the way it tugs at your waist." You're still being honest (it's not a good look), but you're placing the focus on the outfit instead of on the person.
If you're going to criticize someone's actions, compliment them also, so they don't think you're hating on them personally. For example, "I'm surprised that a thoughtful and educated person like you would say something so antagonistic towards Muslims."
2-6. Know your impact.
It's easy to walk around the world not realizing how even the tiniest mood we have can have repercussions. A friend is going through a hard time when we're super busy and we sort of give them the brush-off. We flirt with someone in front of a person who has a crush on us. To the same token, your genuineness will be impactful on those around you. If you use your powers for good, you can start a positive ripple effect all over the place.
You know that person who walks into the room and it lights up? How their passion and being just seem contagious? That's being genuine. That's 100% them. That stuff is powerful. Your impact can be the same.
2-7. Look how you want to look.
Let's set up the scene: The apocalypse has happened. Everyone you know is gone. You take refuge in a city that has been abandoned, able to do whatever you please. Literally every door is open to you. Now, where do you do your shopping? What do you look like when you look in the mirror? That's the real you (minus the angst and the gun-wielding).
Some people take pride in thinking they're pretty. They like make-up, they like doing their hair, they like nice clothes. That's fine. Others don't. That's also fine. If you want to wear overalls and not comb your hair, more power to you. If you want to carry that Coach purse and buy expensive make-up, more power to you. Just make sure you're doing it for yourself.
3. Interacting with Others
3-1. Get real.
So many of us are busy self-presenting—conveying the image we want to convey instead of who we actually are. We make sure we come off as macho or ladylike or intellectual or anti-conformist. Drop it! Put your true self out there. If you feel something, feel it.
Most of us are guilty of trying to look "cool." That's not genuine. If you spent the afternoon playing bridge with Grandma, talk about how you spent the afternoon playing bridge with Grandma. You've nothing to hide. That's just exhausting work anyway.
3-2. Connect with one person at a time.
When you're speaking in front of a large group of people, it's tempting to scan the audience, glazing over the entire surface. And lots do. But a better way is to make eye contact with one person at a time, drawing them in fully. Imagine Barack Obama locking eyes with you! Dang. He sees you. He's real. Instead of robotically going over the motions, he's actually making direct contact. The same sentiment should be applied to your life.
The next time you're in a group of people, concentrate on one at a time. You can't fully appreciate a person and extend your true self when you're trying to accommodate more than one person. Not only will you be able to be genuine, but that other person will be left spellbound by your social skills.
Work on becoming a good listener and validating people's feelings. These skills can help you connect with people in a more genuine way.
3-3. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Flattering, gossiping, or otherwise saying something just to fit in is as disingenuous as it gets. We're all guilty of this at one time or another, even if we have good intentions (we don't want to embarrass ourselves, etc.). The only thing you can do is be aware of your desires and behaviors and address them as honestly as you possibly can.
There are going to be haters. Some people will be put off by your honesty and your tell-it-like-it-is mentality. As long as you're not cruel about it, it's their beef to have. Most people, hopefully, will appreciate your candor. Few people are ballsy enough to get real.
3-4. Smile when the smile is natural.
Don't paste on a camouflage smile to fit a situation. The same goes for the whole range of emotions; if you are going to show the world the real you, the world should see all of it. That way, when you do, it'll matter that much more.
The same broad sentiment applies to activities. If you don't want to do it, don't do it! If you don't feel like drinking, don't drink. If you don't want to spend a night in the club, don't. If you'd rather do something the group isn't feeling, so be it. There are better ways to spend your time, be it alone or with a different group of friends.
3-5. Lose the power pose.
It's tempting, in talking to others, to assert our power, be it verbally or through our body language. We square our shoulders, close off our bodies, and make people come to us. Drop the act. That's another one of those games. There can't be any concern for our image or our pride when we're aiming to be genuine.
When you meet someone, be warm. They're not a threat to you unless they have a gun pointed at your head. And if that's the case, square shoulders won't get you anywhere.
Displaying confidence is a good thing. However, there's a line between confidence that's natural and confidence that's a display. If you feel completely relaxed, your confidence is right where it should be.
3-6. Don't make it a contest.
There's no need to bust out the tape measure when you're talking to someone. When someone starts dropping names, don't bite. This is a game they're playing that's disingenuous and a total indicator of their low self-worth. Shame. Resist the urge to one up them with your story on how you chilled with Snoop Lion at the bus stop.
Unfortunately, plenty of us are guilty of trying to make ourselves look good when we meet people. We absolutely bomb by coming off as full of ourselves or trying too hard or being a bit of a braggart by displaying our achievements. That's not exactly how interaction works. The next time someone says, "Yeah, I just got a sweet promotion," just congratulate them and move on. That's all you need do.
3-7. Don't force it.
Sometimes there are people that we just don't jive with. That we're incapable of really being genuine with because interacting with them just seems...fake. If you run into this situation, don't force it. That person may not be meant to be in your life right now, and that's fine. Maybe later, maybe never, but definitely not right now.
3-8. Give genuine compliments.
If you were to die tomorrow, odds are you'd have some sort of regret that you didn't tell someone how much you cared about them. It'd be a shame to live like that, so lose the restraint! Let people know how much you appreciate them. You'll get it back in return too!
If you find yourself giving out fake compliments to get conversation going or asking for things for a different purpose than actually needing those things, those are clues that your behavior isn't genuine. Give it time. It's possible you may need to get a feel for the other person first.
3-9. Reflect on you.
Now that you've spent some time rewiring your actions with people and the world at large, take a moment to reflect on it. What do you struggle with? What can you see is already changing? Think about a couple times you were genuine today and a couple of times you could've improved. What can you aim for tomorrow?
If it would help, make a list of people you consider genuine. Sometimes it's hard to see our behavior for what it actually is—it's a lot easier to emulate someone else!
Look in the mirror at the beginning of every day. Consider that this is what every one who looks at you will see, then resolve to let them see you as you really are. When you get it, it'll be totally freeing and feel like you're home.
3-10. Recognize when you need to be more tactful.
Sometimes, bluntness can hurt. Recognize that some people are a little more fragile than others, so handle their feelings with care. Make it clear that even if they did something wrong, you still appreciate them and think they're great. When in doubt, err on the side of kindness.
Kind words can be genuine. For example, "Yeah, I'm disappointed that our plans fell through, because I was looking forward to them. But I'm not mad at you, and I hope we can still enjoy our evening together."
Tips
Be aware that not every one appreciates genuineness, and some may interpret it as naivete or simpleness.
Politely decline offers to go too far outside your comfort zone, especially in areas which compromise your integrity or have foolish risks involved.
Warnings
Don't try to force a huge change in your demeanor overnight. Take your time getting to know yourself and focus on becoming more genuine slowly and naturally. Cut yourself some slack.
When you become genuine, people are apt to treat you differently.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Peeling Back the Layers\\n1-1. Spend some time self-indulgently thinking about who you really are.\\nNot the façade you put on before you walk into any given group of people, not even the image you give your family, or your closest friends. Get alone and meditate on you. Who are you when you're alone?\\nIf it sparks your interest, try meditating. It can reduce your stress levels to enable better mental clarity. This may enable you to see yourself in a clearer manner.\\n1-2. Let go of what society says is acceptable.\\nEveryday we see images of what is \\\"okay.\\\" It changes constantly (which proves it doesn't really exist). To be you, you must give up trying to live up to some non-existent standard. There's no more being a prep or a jock or a hipster and there's just being. Labels are the way society defines us. There's no more carrying that Coach purse because it says \\\"Coach\\\" on it. You need a better reason than that!\\nThrow away your aspirations of fitting into any select group, clique, or social class. If the genuine you is what they are looking for, they will come calling later, when you have established your true identity.\\n1-3. Make a list of truths about yourself.\\nUnfortunately, in today's world we're so bombarded with what society expects of us that sometimes we don't even know who we are. We spend years (sometimes decades, sometimes entire lifetimes) molding ourselves to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, burying who we really are under layers of fluff and masks. Take a minute to write down what actually feels like you. It can be things you do, things you are, or things you think -- it could be anything, so long as it's true.\\nWhen you have a list of a dozen or so things (as simple as \\\"I am happier in flip flops\\\" or \\\"I seek adventure above all else\\\"), post it somewhere you'll run into it often. Then, when you go to make a comment or when you're reviewing your day, you can see if your behavior is in line with you who really are. Odds are you'll come up with some things you do/say/think that aren't true to you.\\n1-4. Think about your own family history and culture.\\nWe may not always like where we come from, but there is no escaping the influence our history has on who and what we are. Many people spend a lot of time and effort escaping their past, such as changing the spelling of their names to sound more politically correct, or giving other people too much power to reshape them culturally. Where do you come from? After all, your parents shaped you greatly and your grandparents shaped them. Think about the following:\\nYour upbringing. What do you remember most vividly about it? How was it different than most people's?\\nYour location. How did that shape you? What hobbies and personality traits do you have because of it?\\nYour likes and dislikes. How many of them are shared with your family? How many do you have because of your family?\\n1-5. Fire your toxic friends.\\nIt's a natural human inclination to strive to be surrounded by people...even when those people drain us. But to really be genuine, to rediscover a you that is happy and natural, those people that leave you exhausted after interacting with them have to be cut out. That's all there is to it. Give yourself thirty seconds to think about it and you'll know exactly who they are.\\nThere are people in the world that just aren't good for us. It's hard to cut them out, especially when we feel like we're being cruel. But it's important not to view this behavior as selfish. Sure, it's in your best interest -- but if you don't act in your best interest, no one will. You're not being selfish, you're being logical.\\nForget all the hyped up latest trends unless they fit the genuine you. They last a matter of months -- why would you want to cycle through identities that quickly? Look at your own style and preferences. If a T-shirt and jeans are you, fanfrickin'tastic.\\n1-6. Quit the games now.\\nIt's easy to think we're honest and sincere -- but in order to function tactfully and appropriately with others, it seems like we've inserted mind games into everyday interactions. That little white lie we tell Gina about how people actually like her, how we hint at asking for something from a friend because we think it's bad manners to ask for too many favors, etc. We're not being us -- we're being who people think we should be. Gotta cut that out.\\nThe two main sticklers are people-pleasing and avoidance. If you find yourself sacrificing your happiness to please others, that first one describes you. And if you avoid saying or doing things simply because they'd be frowned upon or they might be potentially embarrassing, that's the second. Those little voices inside our heads stopping us aren't us -- they're a part of us that's very much so taught and inorganic.\\n2. Rediscovering Your True Self\\n2-1. Decide what it means to be \\\"genuine.\\\"\\nThis may not be as easy as it seems, considering the immense influence the media has on us all. Sure, we are all unique individuals, but few, if any, people have absolute resistance to the persuasive influence of advertisers, the media, and peer pressure to conform. Because it's so difficult, decide what genuine means to you. The beauty of it is that you get to choose.\\nDoes being genuine mean pursuing your own fashion? Does it mean saying whatever crosses your mind? Does it mean showing your emotions, whatever they are? Does it mean ignoring what's popular? There are many takes on this concept -- what speaks to you?\\nStudies show that genuineness is one of the most attractive traits you can have.\\n2-2. Spend time with those who charge you up.\\nIf you've gotten rid of your toxic friends (we all have 'em), this shouldn't be too hard. Who do you crave hanging out with? Who always makes you feel good about yourself? And then think about this: who is the person you are afterward?\\nWe all have versions of ourselves. Some are \\\"worse\\\" than others, as they can't all be the same. The idea here is to bring out the best you and to make that \\\"best you\\\" a constant. And the best you is naturally genuine, obviously.\\nIf you'd really like to be more genuine, try spending time with people who have less than you.\\n2-3. Wake up!\\nYou know the phrase \\\"stop and smell the roses?\\\" Kinda like that. Tons of us go around in a technology-induced stupor, barely doing the thing we call living. We're unaware of how we come off, how we actually feel, how we influence others, etc. So wake up! Pay attention the world around you. Stop right now and look around your environment. Note 4 things you didn't notice before. Crazy how your mind just sifts out stimuli, huh?\\nThere's so much going on in our heads sometimes it's hard to realize we're playing those games we talked about, especially when we've been playing them since we were babies. If it would help, start watching other people. How are they placating others? How do they phrase things? How do they position their bodies? Once you notice other people not saying and doing what they mean/want, you can notice similar patterns in yourself, waking yourself up.\\n2-4. Get vulnerable.\\nWhen you abandon the mind games and socially acceptable behavior, you're bound to feel vulnerable. You'll no longer be employing those same defense mechanisms that kept you so comfortable before. Scary stuff, man. But when you feel vulnerable, know that it's a good thing and that it will go away. You just gotta get used to being honest and showing how you really feel.\\nThere is a time and a place for everything. If you're sitting in chemistry class and you get a text from your mom yelling at you and you feel like crying, it's definitely best to hold back the tears and finish the test. Know your priorities here. If Jenn said something that upset you, don't start chewing her out if you're upset. Being vulnerable doesn't mean jumping to conclusions! It's still important to employ a level of rationality.\\n2-5. Be honest.\\nThis one's a tough one. Obviously to be genuine you have to be honest, but how do you stay honest without causing others pain? For example, doctors are instructed not to berate obese patients for their weight, and take a more respectful approach to health.You can strike a balance of honesty and compassion. \\nLet's take the classic example of, \\\"Do I look fat in this?\\\" Instead of outright saying, \\\"Yep. You do,\\\" try something like, \\\"I don't like the way it tugs at your waist.\\\" You're still being honest (it's not a good look), but you're placing the focus on the outfit instead of on the person.\\nIf you're going to criticize someone's actions, compliment them also, so they don't think you're hating on them personally. For example, \\\"I'm surprised that a thoughtful and educated person like you would say something so antagonistic towards Muslims.\\\"\\n2-6. Know your impact.\\nIt's easy to walk around the world not realizing how even the tiniest mood we have can have repercussions. A friend is going through a hard time when we're super busy and we sort of give them the brush-off. We flirt with someone in front of a person who has a crush on us. To the same token, your genuineness will be impactful on those around you. If you use your powers for good, you can start a positive ripple effect all over the place.\\nYou know that person who walks into the room and it lights up? How their passion and being just seem contagious? That's being genuine. That's 100% them. That stuff is powerful. Your impact can be the same.\\n2-7. Look how you want to look.\\nLet's set up the scene: The apocalypse has happened. Everyone you know is gone. You take refuge in a city that has been abandoned, able to do whatever you please. Literally every door is open to you. Now, where do you do your shopping? What do you look like when you look in the mirror? That's the real you (minus the angst and the gun-wielding).\\nSome people take pride in thinking they're pretty. They like make-up, they like doing their hair, they like nice clothes. That's fine. Others don't. That's also fine. If you want to wear overalls and not comb your hair, more power to you. If you want to carry that Coach purse and buy expensive make-up, more power to you. Just make sure you're doing it for yourself.\\n3. Interacting with Others\\n3-1. Get real.\\nSo many of us are busy self-presenting—conveying the image we want to convey instead of who we actually are. We make sure we come off as macho or ladylike or intellectual or anti-conformist. Drop it! Put your true self out there. If you feel something, feel it.\\nMost of us are guilty of trying to look \\\"cool.\\\" That's not genuine. If you spent the afternoon playing bridge with Grandma, talk about how you spent the afternoon playing bridge with Grandma. You've nothing to hide. That's just exhausting work anyway.\\n3-2. Connect with one person at a time.\\nWhen you're speaking in front of a large group of people, it's tempting to scan the audience, glazing over the entire surface. And lots do. But a better way is to make eye contact with one person at a time, drawing them in fully. Imagine Barack Obama locking eyes with you! Dang. He sees you. He's real. Instead of robotically going over the motions, he's actually making direct contact. The same sentiment should be applied to your life.\\nThe next time you're in a group of people, concentrate on one at a time. You can't fully appreciate a person and extend your true self when you're trying to accommodate more than one person. Not only will you be able to be genuine, but that other person will be left spellbound by your social skills.\\nWork on becoming a good listener and validating people's feelings. These skills can help you connect with people in a more genuine way.\\n3-3. Say what you mean and mean what you say.\\nFlattering, gossiping, or otherwise saying something just to fit in is as disingenuous as it gets. We're all guilty of this at one time or another, even if we have good intentions (we don't want to embarrass ourselves, etc.). The only thing you can do is be aware of your desires and behaviors and address them as honestly as you possibly can.\\nThere are going to be haters. Some people will be put off by your honesty and your tell-it-like-it-is mentality. As long as you're not cruel about it, it's their beef to have. Most people, hopefully, will appreciate your candor. Few people are ballsy enough to get real.\\n3-4. Smile when the smile is natural.\\nDon't paste on a camouflage smile to fit a situation. The same goes for the whole range of emotions; if you are going to show the world the real you, the world should see all of it. That way, when you do, it'll matter that much more.\\nThe same broad sentiment applies to activities. If you don't want to do it, don't do it! If you don't feel like drinking, don't drink. If you don't want to spend a night in the club, don't. If you'd rather do something the group isn't feeling, so be it. There are better ways to spend your time, be it alone or with a different group of friends.\\n3-5. Lose the power pose.\\nIt's tempting, in talking to others, to assert our power, be it verbally or through our body language. We square our shoulders, close off our bodies, and make people come to us. Drop the act. That's another one of those games. There can't be any concern for our image or our pride when we're aiming to be genuine.\\nWhen you meet someone, be warm. They're not a threat to you unless they have a gun pointed at your head. And if that's the case, square shoulders won't get you anywhere.\\nDisplaying confidence is a good thing. However, there's a line between confidence that's natural and confidence that's a display. If you feel completely relaxed, your confidence is right where it should be.\\n3-6. Don't make it a contest.\\nThere's no need to bust out the tape measure when you're talking to someone. When someone starts dropping names, don't bite. This is a game they're playing that's disingenuous and a total indicator of their low self-worth. Shame. Resist the urge to one up them with your story on how you chilled with Snoop Lion at the bus stop.\\nUnfortunately, plenty of us are guilty of trying to make ourselves look good when we meet people. We absolutely bomb by coming off as full of ourselves or trying too hard or being a bit of a braggart by displaying our achievements. That's not exactly how interaction works. The next time someone says, \\\"Yeah, I just got a sweet promotion,\\\" just congratulate them and move on. That's all you need do.\\n3-7. Don't force it.\\nSometimes there are people that we just don't jive with. That we're incapable of really being genuine with because interacting with them just seems...fake. If you run into this situation, don't force it. That person may not be meant to be in your life right now, and that's fine. Maybe later, maybe never, but definitely not right now.\\n3-8. Give genuine compliments.\\nIf you were to die tomorrow, odds are you'd have some sort of regret that you didn't tell someone how much you cared about them. It'd be a shame to live like that, so lose the restraint! Let people know how much you appreciate them. You'll get it back in return too!\\nIf you find yourself giving out fake compliments to get conversation going or asking for things for a different purpose than actually needing those things, those are clues that your behavior isn't genuine. Give it time. It's possible you may need to get a feel for the other person first.\\n3-9. Reflect on you.\\nNow that you've spent some time rewiring your actions with people and the world at large, take a moment to reflect on it. What do you struggle with? What can you see is already changing? Think about a couple times you were genuine today and a couple of times you could've improved. What can you aim for tomorrow?\\nIf it would help, make a list of people you consider genuine. Sometimes it's hard to see our behavior for what it actually is—it's a lot easier to emulate someone else!\\nLook in the mirror at the beginning of every day. Consider that this is what every one who looks at you will see, then resolve to let them see you as you really are. When you get it, it'll be totally freeing and feel like you're home.\\n3-10. Recognize when you need to be more tactful.\\nSometimes, bluntness can hurt. Recognize that some people are a little more fragile than others, so handle their feelings with care. Make it clear that even if they did something wrong, you still appreciate them and think they're great. When in doubt, err on the side of kindness. \\nKind words can be genuine. For example, \\\"Yeah, I'm disappointed that our plans fell through, because I was looking forward to them. But I'm not mad at you, and I hope we can still enjoy our evening together.\\\"\\nTips\\nBe aware that not every one appreciates genuineness, and some may interpret it as naivete or simpleness.\\nPolitely decline offers to go too far outside your comfort zone, especially in areas which compromise your integrity or have foolish risks involved.\\nWarnings\\nDon't try to force a huge change in your demeanor overnight. Take your time getting to know yourself and focus on becoming more genuine slowly and naturally. Cut yourself some slack.\\nWhen you become genuine, people are apt to treat you differently.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In a world full of knock-offs, spin-offs, and cheap imitations, being \\\"genuine\\\" seems a little off the beaten track. Should you decide to see what the world thinks of the real you (and kudos, by the way!), here's how to start finding you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Peeling Back the Layers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend some time self-indulgently thinking about who you really are.\", \"描述\": \"Not the façade you put on before you walk into any given group of people, not even the image you give your family, or your closest friends. Get alone and meditate on you. Who are you when you're alone?\\nIf it sparks your interest, try meditating. It can reduce your stress levels to enable better mental clarity. This may enable you to see yourself in a clearer manner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let go of what society says is acceptable.\", \"描述\": \"Everyday we see images of what is \\\"okay.\\\" It changes constantly (which proves it doesn't really exist). To be you, you must give up trying to live up to some non-existent standard. There's no more being a prep or a jock or a hipster and there's just being. Labels are the way society defines us. There's no more carrying that Coach purse because it says \\\"Coach\\\" on it. You need a better reason than that!\\nThrow away your aspirations of fitting into any select group, clique, or social class. If the genuine you is what they are looking for, they will come calling later, when you have established your true identity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a list of truths about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, in today's world we're so bombarded with what society expects of us that sometimes we don't even know who we are. We spend years (sometimes decades, sometimes entire lifetimes) molding ourselves to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, burying who we really are under layers of fluff and masks. Take a minute to write down what actually feels like you. It can be things you do, things you are, or things you think -- it could be anything, so long as it's true.\\nWhen you have a list of a dozen or so things (as simple as \\\"I am happier in flip flops\\\" or \\\"I seek adventure above all else\\\"), post it somewhere you'll run into it often. Then, when you go to make a comment or when you're reviewing your day, you can see if your behavior is in line with you who really are. Odds are you'll come up with some things you do/say/think that aren't true to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think about your own family history and culture.\", \"描述\": \"We may not always like where we come from, but there is no escaping the influence our history has on who and what we are. Many people spend a lot of time and effort escaping their past, such as changing the spelling of their names to sound more politically correct, or giving other people too much power to reshape them culturally. Where do you come from? After all, your parents shaped you greatly and your grandparents shaped them. Think about the following:\\nYour upbringing. What do you remember most vividly about it? How was it different than most people's?\\nYour location. How did that shape you? What hobbies and personality traits do you have because of it?\\nYour likes and dislikes. How many of them are shared with your family? How many do you have because of your family?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Fire your toxic friends.\", \"描述\": \"It's a natural human inclination to strive to be surrounded by people...even when those people drain us. But to really be genuine, to rediscover a you that is happy and natural, those people that leave you exhausted after interacting with them have to be cut out. That's all there is to it. Give yourself thirty seconds to think about it and you'll know exactly who they are.\\nThere are people in the world that just aren't good for us. It's hard to cut them out, especially when we feel like we're being cruel. But it's important not to view this behavior as selfish. Sure, it's in your best interest -- but if you don't act in your best interest, no one will. You're not being selfish, you're being logical.\\nForget all the hyped up latest trends unless they fit the genuine you. They last a matter of months -- why would you want to cycle through identities that quickly? Look at your own style and preferences. If a T-shirt and jeans are you, fanfrickin'tastic.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Quit the games now.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to think we're honest and sincere -- but in order to function tactfully and appropriately with others, it seems like we've inserted mind games into everyday interactions. That little white lie we tell Gina about how people actually like her, how we hint at asking for something from a friend because we think it's bad manners to ask for too many favors, etc. We're not being us -- we're being who people think we should be. Gotta cut that out.\\nThe two main sticklers are people-pleasing and avoidance. If you find yourself sacrificing your happiness to please others, that first one describes you. And if you avoid saying or doing things simply because they'd be frowned upon or they might be potentially embarrassing, that's the second. Those little voices inside our heads stopping us aren't us -- they're a part of us that's very much so taught and inorganic.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rediscovering Your True Self\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide what it means to be \\\"genuine.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"This may not be as easy as it seems, considering the immense influence the media has on us all. Sure, we are all unique individuals, but few, if any, people have absolute resistance to the persuasive influence of advertisers, the media, and peer pressure to conform. Because it's so difficult, decide what genuine means to you. The beauty of it is that you get to choose.\\nDoes being genuine mean pursuing your own fashion? Does it mean saying whatever crosses your mind? Does it mean showing your emotions, whatever they are? Does it mean ignoring what's popular? There are many takes on this concept -- what speaks to you?\\nStudies show that genuineness is one of the most attractive traits you can have.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with those who charge you up.\", \"描述\": \"If you've gotten rid of your toxic friends (we all have 'em), this shouldn't be too hard. Who do you crave hanging out with? Who always makes you feel good about yourself? And then think about this: who is the person you are afterward?\\nWe all have versions of ourselves. Some are \\\"worse\\\" than others, as they can't all be the same. The idea here is to bring out the best you and to make that \\\"best you\\\" a constant. And the best you is naturally genuine, obviously.\\nIf you'd really like to be more genuine, try spending time with people who have less than you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wake up!\", \"描述\": \"You know the phrase \\\"stop and smell the roses?\\\" Kinda like that. Tons of us go around in a technology-induced stupor, barely doing the thing we call living. We're unaware of how we come off, how we actually feel, how we influence others, etc. So wake up! Pay attention the world around you. Stop right now and look around your environment. Note 4 things you didn't notice before. Crazy how your mind just sifts out stimuli, huh?\\nThere's so much going on in our heads sometimes it's hard to realize we're playing those games we talked about, especially when we've been playing them since we were babies. If it would help, start watching other people. How are they placating others? How do they phrase things? How do they position their bodies? Once you notice other people not saying and doing what they mean/want, you can notice similar patterns in yourself, waking yourself up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get vulnerable.\", \"描述\": \"When you abandon the mind games and socially acceptable behavior, you're bound to feel vulnerable. You'll no longer be employing those same defense mechanisms that kept you so comfortable before. Scary stuff, man. But when you feel vulnerable, know that it's a good thing and that it will go away. You just gotta get used to being honest and showing how you really feel.\\nThere is a time and a place for everything. If you're sitting in chemistry class and you get a text from your mom yelling at you and you feel like crying, it's definitely best to hold back the tears and finish the test. Know your priorities here. If Jenn said something that upset you, don't start chewing her out if you're upset. Being vulnerable doesn't mean jumping to conclusions! It's still important to employ a level of rationality.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"This one's a tough one. Obviously to be genuine you have to be honest, but how do you stay honest without causing others pain? For example, doctors are instructed not to berate obese patients for their weight, and take a more respectful approach to health.You can strike a balance of honesty and compassion. \\nLet's take the classic example of, \\\"Do I look fat in this?\\\" Instead of outright saying, \\\"Yep. You do,\\\" try something like, \\\"I don't like the way it tugs at your waist.\\\" You're still being honest (it's not a good look), but you're placing the focus on the outfit instead of on the person.\\nIf you're going to criticize someone's actions, compliment them also, so they don't think you're hating on them personally. For example, \\\"I'm surprised that a thoughtful and educated person like you would say something so antagonistic towards Muslims.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know your impact.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to walk around the world not realizing how even the tiniest mood we have can have repercussions. A friend is going through a hard time when we're super busy and we sort of give them the brush-off. We flirt with someone in front of a person who has a crush on us. To the same token, your genuineness will be impactful on those around you. If you use your powers for good, you can start a positive ripple effect all over the place.\\nYou know that person who walks into the room and it lights up? How their passion and being just seem contagious? That's being genuine. That's 100% them. That stuff is powerful. Your impact can be the same.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Look how you want to look.\", \"描述\": \"Let's set up the scene: The apocalypse has happened. Everyone you know is gone. You take refuge in a city that has been abandoned, able to do whatever you please. Literally every door is open to you. Now, where do you do your shopping? What do you look like when you look in the mirror? That's the real you (minus the angst and the gun-wielding).\\nSome people take pride in thinking they're pretty. They like make-up, they like doing their hair, they like nice clothes. That's fine. Others don't. That's also fine. If you want to wear overalls and not comb your hair, more power to you. If you want to carry that Coach purse and buy expensive make-up, more power to you. Just make sure you're doing it for yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get real.\", \"描述\": \"So many of us are busy self-presenting—conveying the image we want to convey instead of who we actually are. We make sure we come off as macho or ladylike or intellectual or anti-conformist. Drop it! Put your true self out there. If you feel something, feel it.\\nMost of us are guilty of trying to look \\\"cool.\\\" That's not genuine. If you spent the afternoon playing bridge with Grandma, talk about how you spent the afternoon playing bridge with Grandma. You've nothing to hide. That's just exhausting work anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Connect with one person at a time.\", \"描述\": \"When you're speaking in front of a large group of people, it's tempting to scan the audience, glazing over the entire surface. And lots do. But a better way is to make eye contact with one person at a time, drawing them in fully. Imagine Barack Obama locking eyes with you! Dang. He sees you. He's real. Instead of robotically going over the motions, he's actually making direct contact. The same sentiment should be applied to your life.\\nThe next time you're in a group of people, concentrate on one at a time. You can't fully appreciate a person and extend your true self when you're trying to accommodate more than one person. Not only will you be able to be genuine, but that other person will be left spellbound by your social skills.\\nWork on becoming a good listener and validating people's feelings. These skills can help you connect with people in a more genuine way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say what you mean and mean what you say.\", \"描述\": \"Flattering, gossiping, or otherwise saying something just to fit in is as disingenuous as it gets. We're all guilty of this at one time or another, even if we have good intentions (we don't want to embarrass ourselves, etc.). The only thing you can do is be aware of your desires and behaviors and address them as honestly as you possibly can.\\nThere are going to be haters. Some people will be put off by your honesty and your tell-it-like-it-is mentality. As long as you're not cruel about it, it's their beef to have. Most people, hopefully, will appreciate your candor. Few people are ballsy enough to get real.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Smile when the smile is natural.\", \"描述\": \"Don't paste on a camouflage smile to fit a situation. The same goes for the whole range of emotions; if you are going to show the world the real you, the world should see all of it. That way, when you do, it'll matter that much more.\\nThe same broad sentiment applies to activities. If you don't want to do it, don't do it! If you don't feel like drinking, don't drink. If you don't want to spend a night in the club, don't. If you'd rather do something the group isn't feeling, so be it. There are better ways to spend your time, be it alone or with a different group of friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Lose the power pose.\", \"描述\": \"It's tempting, in talking to others, to assert our power, be it verbally or through our body language. We square our shoulders, close off our bodies, and make people come to us. Drop the act. That's another one of those games. There can't be any concern for our image or our pride when we're aiming to be genuine.\\nWhen you meet someone, be warm. They're not a threat to you unless they have a gun pointed at your head. And if that's the case, square shoulders won't get you anywhere.\\nDisplaying confidence is a good thing. However, there's a line between confidence that's natural and confidence that's a display. If you feel completely relaxed, your confidence is right where it should be.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't make it a contest.\", \"描述\": \"There's no need to bust out the tape measure when you're talking to someone. When someone starts dropping names, don't bite. This is a game they're playing that's disingenuous and a total indicator of their low self-worth. Shame. Resist the urge to one up them with your story on how you chilled with Snoop Lion at the bus stop.\\nUnfortunately, plenty of us are guilty of trying to make ourselves look good when we meet people. We absolutely bomb by coming off as full of ourselves or trying too hard or being a bit of a braggart by displaying our achievements. That's not exactly how interaction works. The next time someone says, \\\"Yeah, I just got a sweet promotion,\\\" just congratulate them and move on. That's all you need do.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't force it.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes there are people that we just don't jive with. That we're incapable of really being genuine with because interacting with them just seems...fake. If you run into this situation, don't force it. That person may not be meant to be in your life right now, and that's fine. Maybe later, maybe never, but definitely not right now.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give genuine compliments.\", \"描述\": \"If you were to die tomorrow, odds are you'd have some sort of regret that you didn't tell someone how much you cared about them. It'd be a shame to live like that, so lose the restraint! Let people know how much you appreciate them. You'll get it back in return too!\\nIf you find yourself giving out fake compliments to get conversation going or asking for things for a different purpose than actually needing those things, those are clues that your behavior isn't genuine. Give it time. It's possible you may need to get a feel for the other person first.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Reflect on you.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you've spent some time rewiring your actions with people and the world at large, take a moment to reflect on it. What do you struggle with? What can you see is already changing? Think about a couple times you were genuine today and a couple of times you could've improved. What can you aim for tomorrow?\\nIf it would help, make a list of people you consider genuine. Sometimes it's hard to see our behavior for what it actually is—it's a lot easier to emulate someone else!\\nLook in the mirror at the beginning of every day. Consider that this is what every one who looks at you will see, then resolve to let them see you as you really are. When you get it, it'll be totally freeing and feel like you're home.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Recognize when you need to be more tactful.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, bluntness can hurt. Recognize that some people are a little more fragile than others, so handle their feelings with care. Make it clear that even if they did something wrong, you still appreciate them and think they're great. When in doubt, err on the side of kindness. \\nKind words can be genuine. For example, \\\"Yeah, I'm disappointed that our plans fell through, because I was looking forward to them. But I'm not mad at you, and I hope we can still enjoy our evening together.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be aware that not every one appreciates genuineness, and some may interpret it as naivete or simpleness.\\n\", \"Politely decline offers to go too far outside your comfort zone, especially in areas which compromise your integrity or have foolish risks involved.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't try to force a huge change in your demeanor overnight. Take your time getting to know yourself and focus on becoming more genuine slowly and naturally. Cut yourself some slack.\\n\", \"When you become genuine, people are apt to treat you differently.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,754 | How to Be Girly | 1. Dressing Girly
1-1. Embrace colors like pink, lavender, and red.
Go for clothing in shades of pink, purple, and red. Bright colors that are light and soft are considered girly.
If you are not a big fan of pink, go for other colors like light blue or pastel yellow to appear girly.
1-2. Wear dresses and skirts.
Look for dresses that cinch at the waist so they define your figure. You can also wear dresses that are A-line or more flowy for a soft, feminine look. Long skirts and short skirts are also good options.
Style flowy dresses with structured pieces, like a leather jacket or a fitted coat.
Wear long skirts with a tailored top or collared shirt for a polished, feminine look.
Turn your slip dress into a skirt by layering a chunky sweater overtop.
1-3. Get pants in flattering cuts.
Being girly doesn’t mean you can only wear dresses or skirts. Invest in pants that sit at your waist and elongate your legs. Get skinny jeans as well as pants with a flare.
Avoid tapered jeans or pants that make you appear boxy, as they may be too masculine for a girly look.
Look for pants in fabrics like leather, velvet, linen, and denim for a fun, girly look.
To create a really intentional outfit, pair a V-neck t-shirt with a cute blazer and some jeans.
1-4. Look for tops made of lace and velvet.
Lace and velvet are classic fabrics for a girly look. Get crop tops or blouses made of lace. Look for sweaters and button ups made of velvet.
For a dash of femininity, look for tops with lace bows or velvet detailing.
Tops made of sheer fabrics like chiffon and tulle are also fun for a girly look.
1-5. Try wearing heels.
For a girly look, invest in high heels to elongate your legs and give you some height. Look for platform heels or heels with cushioning inside to make them more comfortable.
If you are new to wearing heels, you may go for a lower heel first so you can get used to wearing them.
Keep in mind you can still be girly if you prefer wearing flats. Flats that are have detailing like rhinestones, bows, or bright patterns can give you a more feminine look.
1-6. Carry a purse, clutch, or tote bag.
Get a purse that fits comfortably on your shoulder or in your hand. Invest in a clutch for a night out in materials like velvet, leather, or pleather. You can also wear a tote bag made of leather or cotton for a more relaxed, girly look.
If you prefer wearing a backpack, get one that is girly in color or design. Look for backpacks in colors like pink, purple, or red, with detailing like studs, bows, or floral prints.
1-7. Put on jewelry and other accessories.
Go for minimalist jewelry, such as a simple pendant necklace or stud earrings. You can also wear big jewelry, such as a statement necklace, big earrings, or big rings.
Play around with other accessories like scarves. Look for scarves in light, feminine colors like pink, blue, and yellow.
1-8.
If you're wearing a strappy top or sleeveless dress, drape a pashmina over your shoulders for coverage.
Try wearing hair accessories like barrettes and Wear-a-Headband|headbands for a girly
2. Looking Girly
2-1. Have fun with makeup.
Start with the basics, like foundation, lip gloss, and eyeshadow. Pick makeup based on your skin tone. Only wear as much makeup as you feel comfortable with, as being girly does not necessarily mean you have to wear a ton of makeup every day.
Watch online tutorials to learn how to apply makeup in different ways.
Ask friends who wear makeup to teach you how to apply it.
Go to your local cosmetics store and play around with different foundations, bronzers, blushes, and eye shadows. Ask a makeup artist at the store to help you learn how to apply makeup.
2-2. Style your hair in buns or braids.
Play around with styling your hair in a top bun, where you leave some of your hair down and put the top layer of your hair in a small bun. You can also do a top knot, where you put all your hair up in a high bun on your head.
Braids are also a fun way to be more girly. Do a french braid, a side braid, a fishtail braid, or a crown braid.
2-3. Maintain good posture.
When you sit or stand, keep your spine straight and your chin up. Roll your shoulders back and your chest forward. Avoid slouching or curving your back.
You can also try crossing your legs when you sit or sitting with your legs close together, especially if you are wearing a skirt or dress.
2-4. Have good personal hygiene.
Take care of your hair by washing and conditioning it regularly. Keep your nails trimmed and get manicures at a nail salon, or give yourself a home manicure. Make sure you smell nice by having regular showers and using bath wash or perfume that smells floral and sweet.
2-5. Maintain your facial and body hair.
Get your eyebrows waxed or plucking them at home. Remove hair on your upper lip at home or get it done professionally at a salon.
You may also remove hair on your legs and armpits. Try shaving or waxing these areas at home.
See an esthetician if you are nervous about waxing these areas yourself.
3. Doing Girly Things
3-1. Read up on current fashion and beauty.
Stay in touch with the latest fashion trends by reading fashion magazines, blogs, and newsletters. Talk to your girlfriends about what they are wearing and look at street style images online for ideas. Pay attention to the newest beauty looks by following models and insiders on social media and blogs.
Staying in touch with current fashion and beauty can also give you ideas on how you can be girly in a modern way. Femininity and what is considered “girly” in fashion continues to evolve and change so make sure you keep up to date on the latest trends.
3-2. Follow blogs and magazines written by women.
Search online for content written by women, for women. Follow popular female centered blogs and publications online. Subscribe to women’s magazines. Stay informed on important women’s topics and learn about the different ways that women are expressing themselves in politics, fashion, beauty, and the arts.
Ask your girlfriends what publications they are following or reading. Look at what female publications your favorite female celebrities are reading and following.
3-3. Go shopping with girlfriends.
Have fun shopping for girly clothing and accessories at the mall or your local clothing store. Invite girlfriends along so you can make a day of it. Shopping is a fun way to bond and hang out with other girls.
Going shopping does not mean you have to spend a lot of money or have a lot of cash on hand. Try things on, browse, and window shop with your girlfriends so you can spend quality time together.
3-4. Have a girls' night with friends.
Invite your closest girlfriends for dinner or drinks at a favorite restaurant. Go dancing at the hottest club or attend a fun music show. See a movie that features female actors.
For a fun girls' night in, you can do home manicures or pedicures. You can also do spa treatments like homemade face masks or massages. Listen to music or watch a movie at home with your girlfriends.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dressing Girly\\n1-1. Embrace colors like pink, lavender, and red.\\nGo for clothing in shades of pink, purple, and red. Bright colors that are light and soft are considered girly.\\nIf you are not a big fan of pink, go for other colors like light blue or pastel yellow to appear girly.\\n1-2. Wear dresses and skirts.\\nLook for dresses that cinch at the waist so they define your figure. You can also wear dresses that are A-line or more flowy for a soft, feminine look. Long skirts and short skirts are also good options.\\nStyle flowy dresses with structured pieces, like a leather jacket or a fitted coat.\\nWear long skirts with a tailored top or collared shirt for a polished, feminine look.\\nTurn your slip dress into a skirt by layering a chunky sweater overtop.\\n1-3. Get pants in flattering cuts.\\nBeing girly doesn’t mean you can only wear dresses or skirts. Invest in pants that sit at your waist and elongate your legs. Get skinny jeans as well as pants with a flare.\\nAvoid tapered jeans or pants that make you appear boxy, as they may be too masculine for a girly look.\\nLook for pants in fabrics like leather, velvet, linen, and denim for a fun, girly look.\\nTo create a really intentional outfit, pair a V-neck t-shirt with a cute blazer and some jeans.\\n1-4. Look for tops made of lace and velvet.\\nLace and velvet are classic fabrics for a girly look. Get crop tops or blouses made of lace. Look for sweaters and button ups made of velvet.\\nFor a dash of femininity, look for tops with lace bows or velvet detailing.\\nTops made of sheer fabrics like chiffon and tulle are also fun for a girly look.\\n1-5. Try wearing heels.\\nFor a girly look, invest in high heels to elongate your legs and give you some height. Look for platform heels or heels with cushioning inside to make them more comfortable.\\nIf you are new to wearing heels, you may go for a lower heel first so you can get used to wearing them.\\nKeep in mind you can still be girly if you prefer wearing flats. Flats that are have detailing like rhinestones, bows, or bright patterns can give you a more feminine look.\\n1-6. Carry a purse, clutch, or tote bag.\\nGet a purse that fits comfortably on your shoulder or in your hand. Invest in a clutch for a night out in materials like velvet, leather, or pleather. You can also wear a tote bag made of leather or cotton for a more relaxed, girly look.\\nIf you prefer wearing a backpack, get one that is girly in color or design. Look for backpacks in colors like pink, purple, or red, with detailing like studs, bows, or floral prints.\\n1-7. Put on jewelry and other accessories.\\nGo for minimalist jewelry, such as a simple pendant necklace or stud earrings. You can also wear big jewelry, such as a statement necklace, big earrings, or big rings.\\nPlay around with other accessories like scarves. Look for scarves in light, feminine colors like pink, blue, and yellow.\\n1-8. \\nIf you're wearing a strappy top or sleeveless dress, drape a pashmina over your shoulders for coverage.\\nTry wearing hair accessories like barrettes and Wear-a-Headband|headbands for a girly\\n2. Looking Girly\\n2-1. Have fun with makeup.\\nStart with the basics, like foundation, lip gloss, and eyeshadow. Pick makeup based on your skin tone. Only wear as much makeup as you feel comfortable with, as being girly does not necessarily mean you have to wear a ton of makeup every day.\\nWatch online tutorials to learn how to apply makeup in different ways.\\nAsk friends who wear makeup to teach you how to apply it.\\nGo to your local cosmetics store and play around with different foundations, bronzers, blushes, and eye shadows. Ask a makeup artist at the store to help you learn how to apply makeup.\\n2-2. Style your hair in buns or braids.\\nPlay around with styling your hair in a top bun, where you leave some of your hair down and put the top layer of your hair in a small bun. You can also do a top knot, where you put all your hair up in a high bun on your head.\\nBraids are also a fun way to be more girly. Do a french braid, a side braid, a fishtail braid, or a crown braid.\\n2-3. Maintain good posture.\\nWhen you sit or stand, keep your spine straight and your chin up. Roll your shoulders back and your chest forward. Avoid slouching or curving your back.\\nYou can also try crossing your legs when you sit or sitting with your legs close together, especially if you are wearing a skirt or dress.\\n2-4. Have good personal hygiene.\\nTake care of your hair by washing and conditioning it regularly. Keep your nails trimmed and get manicures at a nail salon, or give yourself a home manicure. Make sure you smell nice by having regular showers and using bath wash or perfume that smells floral and sweet.\\n2-5. Maintain your facial and body hair.\\nGet your eyebrows waxed or plucking them at home. Remove hair on your upper lip at home or get it done professionally at a salon.\\nYou may also remove hair on your legs and armpits. Try shaving or waxing these areas at home.\\nSee an esthetician if you are nervous about waxing these areas yourself.\\n3. Doing Girly Things\\n3-1. Read up on current fashion and beauty.\\nStay in touch with the latest fashion trends by reading fashion magazines, blogs, and newsletters. Talk to your girlfriends about what they are wearing and look at street style images online for ideas. Pay attention to the newest beauty looks by following models and insiders on social media and blogs.\\nStaying in touch with current fashion and beauty can also give you ideas on how you can be girly in a modern way. Femininity and what is considered “girly” in fashion continues to evolve and change so make sure you keep up to date on the latest trends.\\n3-2. Follow blogs and magazines written by women.\\nSearch online for content written by women, for women. Follow popular female centered blogs and publications online. Subscribe to women’s magazines. Stay informed on important women’s topics and learn about the different ways that women are expressing themselves in politics, fashion, beauty, and the arts.\\nAsk your girlfriends what publications they are following or reading. Look at what female publications your favorite female celebrities are reading and following.\\n3-3. Go shopping with girlfriends.\\nHave fun shopping for girly clothing and accessories at the mall or your local clothing store. Invite girlfriends along so you can make a day of it. Shopping is a fun way to bond and hang out with other girls.\\nGoing shopping does not mean you have to spend a lot of money or have a lot of cash on hand. Try things on, browse, and window shop with your girlfriends so you can spend quality time together.\\n3-4. Have a girls' night with friends.\\nInvite your closest girlfriends for dinner or drinks at a favorite restaurant. Go dancing at the hottest club or attend a fun music show. See a movie that features female actors.\\nFor a fun girls' night in, you can do home manicures or pedicures. You can also do spa treatments like homemade face masks or massages. Listen to music or watch a movie at home with your girlfriends.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being girly can be a challenge, especially if you are a tomboy by nature. You may wonder how you can be more feminine and girly, while still being true to yourself. One way is to add girly clothing and accessories to your closet. You can also act girly by wearing makeup and maintaining good personal hygiene. Read up on the latest fashion and beauty trends, and plan a girls' night with friends so you can have fun being girly and feminine.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dressing Girly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace colors like pink, lavender, and red.\", \"描述\": \"Go for clothing in shades of pink, purple, and red. Bright colors that are light and soft are considered girly.\\nIf you are not a big fan of pink, go for other colors like light blue or pastel yellow to appear girly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear dresses and skirts.\", \"描述\": \"Look for dresses that cinch at the waist so they define your figure. You can also wear dresses that are A-line or more flowy for a soft, feminine look. Long skirts and short skirts are also good options.\\nStyle flowy dresses with structured pieces, like a leather jacket or a fitted coat.\\nWear long skirts with a tailored top or collared shirt for a polished, feminine look.\\nTurn your slip dress into a skirt by layering a chunky sweater overtop.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get pants in flattering cuts.\", \"描述\": \"Being girly doesn’t mean you can only wear dresses or skirts. Invest in pants that sit at your waist and elongate your legs. Get skinny jeans as well as pants with a flare.\\nAvoid tapered jeans or pants that make you appear boxy, as they may be too masculine for a girly look.\\nLook for pants in fabrics like leather, velvet, linen, and denim for a fun, girly look.\\nTo create a really intentional outfit, pair a V-neck t-shirt with a cute blazer and some jeans.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for tops made of lace and velvet.\", \"描述\": \"Lace and velvet are classic fabrics for a girly look. Get crop tops or blouses made of lace. Look for sweaters and button ups made of velvet.\\nFor a dash of femininity, look for tops with lace bows or velvet detailing.\\nTops made of sheer fabrics like chiffon and tulle are also fun for a girly look.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try wearing heels.\", \"描述\": \"For a girly look, invest in high heels to elongate your legs and give you some height. Look for platform heels or heels with cushioning inside to make them more comfortable.\\nIf you are new to wearing heels, you may go for a lower heel first so you can get used to wearing them.\\nKeep in mind you can still be girly if you prefer wearing flats. Flats that are have detailing like rhinestones, bows, or bright patterns can give you a more feminine look.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Carry a purse, clutch, or tote bag.\", \"描述\": \"Get a purse that fits comfortably on your shoulder or in your hand. Invest in a clutch for a night out in materials like velvet, leather, or pleather. You can also wear a tote bag made of leather or cotton for a more relaxed, girly look.\\nIf you prefer wearing a backpack, get one that is girly in color or design. Look for backpacks in colors like pink, purple, or red, with detailing like studs, bows, or floral prints.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Put on jewelry and other accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Go for minimalist jewelry, such as a simple pendant necklace or stud earrings. You can also wear big jewelry, such as a statement necklace, big earrings, or big rings.\\nPlay around with other accessories like scarves. Look for scarves in light, feminine colors like pink, blue, and yellow.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"If you're wearing a strappy top or sleeveless dress, drape a pashmina over your shoulders for coverage.\\nTry wearing hair accessories like barrettes and Wear-a-Headband|headbands for a girly\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Looking Girly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have fun with makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Start with the basics, like foundation, lip gloss, and eyeshadow. Pick makeup based on your skin tone. Only wear as much makeup as you feel comfortable with, as being girly does not necessarily mean you have to wear a ton of makeup every day.\\nWatch online tutorials to learn how to apply makeup in different ways.\\nAsk friends who wear makeup to teach you how to apply it.\\nGo to your local cosmetics store and play around with different foundations, bronzers, blushes, and eye shadows. Ask a makeup artist at the store to help you learn how to apply makeup.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Style your hair in buns or braids.\", \"描述\": \"Play around with styling your hair in a top bun, where you leave some of your hair down and put the top layer of your hair in a small bun. You can also do a top knot, where you put all your hair up in a high bun on your head.\\nBraids are also a fun way to be more girly. Do a french braid, a side braid, a fishtail braid, or a crown braid.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture.\", \"描述\": \"When you sit or stand, keep your spine straight and your chin up. Roll your shoulders back and your chest forward. Avoid slouching or curving your back.\\nYou can also try crossing your legs when you sit or sitting with your legs close together, especially if you are wearing a skirt or dress.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have good personal hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Take care of your hair by washing and conditioning it regularly. Keep your nails trimmed and get manicures at a nail salon, or give yourself a home manicure. Make sure you smell nice by having regular showers and using bath wash or perfume that smells floral and sweet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain your facial and body hair.\", \"描述\": \"Get your eyebrows waxed or plucking them at home. Remove hair on your upper lip at home or get it done professionally at a salon.\\nYou may also remove hair on your legs and armpits. Try shaving or waxing these areas at home.\\nSee an esthetician if you are nervous about waxing these areas yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Doing Girly Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read up on current fashion and beauty.\", \"描述\": \"Stay in touch with the latest fashion trends by reading fashion magazines, blogs, and newsletters. Talk to your girlfriends about what they are wearing and look at street style images online for ideas. Pay attention to the newest beauty looks by following models and insiders on social media and blogs.\\nStaying in touch with current fashion and beauty can also give you ideas on how you can be girly in a modern way. Femininity and what is considered “girly” in fashion continues to evolve and change so make sure you keep up to date on the latest trends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow blogs and magazines written by women.\", \"描述\": \"Search online for content written by women, for women. Follow popular female centered blogs and publications online. Subscribe to women’s magazines. Stay informed on important women’s topics and learn about the different ways that women are expressing themselves in politics, fashion, beauty, and the arts.\\nAsk your girlfriends what publications they are following or reading. Look at what female publications your favorite female celebrities are reading and following.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go shopping with girlfriends.\", \"描述\": \"Have fun shopping for girly clothing and accessories at the mall or your local clothing store. Invite girlfriends along so you can make a day of it. Shopping is a fun way to bond and hang out with other girls.\\nGoing shopping does not mean you have to spend a lot of money or have a lot of cash on hand. Try things on, browse, and window shop with your girlfriends so you can spend quality time together.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a girls' night with friends.\", \"描述\": \"Invite your closest girlfriends for dinner or drinks at a favorite restaurant. Go dancing at the hottest club or attend a fun music show. See a movie that features female actors.\\nFor a fun girls' night in, you can do home manicures or pedicures. You can also do spa treatments like homemade face masks or massages. Listen to music or watch a movie at home with your girlfriends.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,755 | How to Be Glamorous | 1. Looking Glamorous
1-1. Keep your body clean and tidy.
Take regular showers to keep your body clean and smelling fresh. Avoid overly scented soaps, as these may clash with perfume you use.
Use deodorant and anti-antiperspirant. Like with soap, avoid any with a strong scent.
Keep hair and nails appropriately trimmed and maintained.
Don't forget to brush your teeth after every meal too! You don't want food sticking out of your teeth.
1-2. Keep your face clean and clear.
Try your best to be blemish free. That means no acne, no pimples, and no bruises or scars. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but find the best way to take care of your skin.
If you have acne or pimples you should go to a dermatologist to try to find a skin product that works for you.
Keep your skin clean and clear by washing you face every day. You may or may not want to use soaps, as everyone's skin is different. Experiment to find a system that works for you.
1-3. Apply makeup only as you feel necessary.
Start with eyeliner. You should have either a small amount of eyeliner or a medium amount of eyeliner. Trace the natural shape of your eye on the upper lash-line, and put a little "flick" at the end, it's a classic, always gorgeous look.
Find your exact shade of concealer, and use that under your eyes if you have dark circles, and anywhere you may have scars etc. Use foundation if you need extra coverage or if your skin tone is uneven.
To make your face appear more feminine, use a facial highlighter and apply on the high points of your face: your brow bone, your cheekbones, and the bridge of your nose.
Curl your lashes and apply mascara.
Using two eyeshadow colors, apply the lighter one all over the lid and the darker one in the crease.
Find a lip color that works for you and use it, make sure you use a moisturizer before applying lip color.
Choose one or the other if you plan on applying heavy makeup--eyes or lips.
1-4. Maintain your hair.
Your hair should be nice and clean.
Everyone's hair is different and unique, and all can be glamorous if you find the right style for your look. Don't be a stranger to volume!
Any color is also possible, just make sure that it is befitting your natural coloring. Any color is ok, depending on your style. However, avoid bright colors because they tend to fade and look cheap.
Your hair should be always shiny and healthy. This means using leave in conditioner and generally keeping it healthy, while also getting regular haircuts to maintain the ends.
1-5. Keep your nails looking perfect.
Keep your nails trim, smooth, and healthy.
Don't neglect your cuticles. Keep them smooth and healthy. Don't push them back or trim them, which can lead to irritation or infection. Instead, use a good moisturizer for your hands at night and throughout the day as needed, paying special attention to the cuticles.
Paint your nails when you can. When the paint starts to chip, take it off. Avoid false nails, or if you choose to wear them, keep them short and natural in appearance. You may also use a nail buffer to keep your nails shiny without polish.
1-6. Stand up straight.
Maintaining good posture will make you look more confident and will also make you look taller. Plus, it's good for you!
Sleep on your back to help develop good posture, then maintain that straight back throughout the day.
Strong stomach muscles are what help you stand straighter, so work out if you need to.
You can also wear a back brace when you're at home to help train you to straighten your back.
2. Dressing Glamorous
2-1. Coordinate your outfits.
Make sure that everything matches. This is way more important than having expensive clothes! Nothing says "glamour" like being put together.
Keep colors matching by using a limited palette. Choose the colors that look best on you and then stick to well-matching colors or color families (Purple/Blue/Green, Red/Orange/Yellow, etc).
Match styles as well. You don't want to mix a modern looking skirt with a vintage top or anything like that, as a general rule. While sometimes you can make it work and work well, it is easy to make it look off.
A good example is if you go running, wear a matching velour tracksuit, with sneakers that fit, and maybe a cute (matching) graphic tee underneath. It shows that even on your lazy days you are trying, or maybe you are so rich that this was the slouchiest outfit you could put together!
2-2. Wear clothes that flatter your natural shape.
Determine your body shape (pear, hourglass, etc.) and then wear clothes that are best for that body shape.
Different cuts of clothing can flatter different body types. For example, triangle body types, which have broad shoulders, should avoid clothes with shoulder padding or puffs.
Wearing clothes that flatter your shape will make you look good pretty much no matter what your body looks like.
Experiment to find what clothing cuts bring out your body's best features.
2-3. Always wear clothes that fit.
Clothing that doesn't fit will not show you to your best advantage. Avoid clothes that don't fit in order to look healthy and amazing.
Don't wear clothes that are too big and hang off your frame, or clothes that are too small and create bulges.
You also want to avoid pants with a waist that is too low, as your bum will spill over when you move around and this will destroy your glamorous look.
When you try on clothes, take three different sizes of the same item with you, one up and one down (even if you're sure of what your normal size is). Never be afraid to grab more sizes if those don't seem to work.
2-4. Wear nice clothes.
Don't wear clothes that look cheap. Avoid cheap looking fabrics like very low quality fabrics such as pleather (fake leather) or lame, fuzzy/feather materials.
Opt instead for clothes made from fine fabrics like silk, satin, high-quality lace (like Chantilly), cashmere, or modal.
Your clothes should also be well maintained. Don't wear clothes with holes or stains. Keep them clean, wrinkle-free, and looking sharp.
Wear nice looking clothes even if you're doing things like running to the gym or doing errands.
Adhering to all the trends is not only expensive but can also make you look like you're trying too hard and create embarrassing photos of you in the future. Look timelessly glamorous by wearing classic styles.
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Trends to avoid include things like bell-bottom jeans, shoulder pads, or asymmetrical hem lines.
Instead, wear things like button-up shirts, knee length skirts, suits, and classic-cut dresses.
Look for inspiration to the look you are trying to achieve.
2-5. Don't dress down.
Never wear casual clothing if you can help it. Even your gym clothes should look nice.
For whatever you're going out to do, shoot for dressing just a little bit nicer than what would be normal for the situation.
Don't go over the top though, wearing a ball gown to a dinner party is way too much. This will just make you come across as clownish.
2-6. Accessorize!
Make sure that even if you cannot afford expensive clothes, you accessorize well so that you liven the clothes up and make the outfit look more expensive.
Wear earrings that are dramatic and have some sparkle or shine, but make sure that they fit the size and shape of your neck and face. You don't want them to look too big or too small.
A small, fancy necklace to wear all the time is good because it can make even casual outfits look more dressed up and intentional.
A diva-ish pair of sunglasses will never go wrong. Large sizes, like those popular in the 60s, look especially glamorous.
A shiny watch is almost mandatory! Just make sure it fits and if you have to, get links removed or added. Also, make sure it is a color that goes with everything in your closet and matches your skin tone.
3. Acting Glamorous
3-1. Act confident.
While looking confident won't make you visually look more glamorous, it will affect how people perceive you. If you want to be perceived as glamorous and fit in, you'll need to look like you love yourself and are comfortable in the skin you're in.
You don't have to actually be confident but you do have to act like it (although you should learn to love yourself, and the rest will fall into place.) Most people, even if they seem really self-confident, actually are not, so don't feel bad.
Don't constantly apologize or defer to other people. Don't criticize yourself or put yourself down. A little self-deprecating humor is okay though.
Speak up for yourself, be kind and compassionate (not stuck up or offensive), have good posture, and don't be afraid to do things that make you stand out, like talking intellectually, or about things you are passionate about.
3-2. Keep your emotions level.
Getting overly angry or emotional can ruin the glamorous look, making you look immature or like a bit of a jerk. Can you imagine Audrey Hepburn being a jerk? No.
Never create a scene, yell at people who upset you, or generally get extremely sensitive about something that's going on. Be in control of yourself, emotionally as well.
3-3. Think before you speak, making sure not to offend anyone or showing you may be scatter-brained.
Speaking meaningfully, like acting confident, will help create the perception of glamour. The smarter you speak, the more classy and elegant you will seem.
An accent isn't necessary to make yourself seem more glamorous, so don't try to fake one.
Instead, use the best grammar and vocabulary that you can.
Practice speaking when you're alone, if that helps you to overcome bad habits.
3-4. Be glamorous to be seen.
Remember that since being glamorous is about creating a great first impression, make sure to use your manners, especially when meeting someone for the first time.
Every time you step outside your home into the public eye, strive to convey your image of glamour, but no matter what, stay true to yourself (people will respect you for it.)
Imagine that you have photographers following you around all day--if they're snapping pictures, what do you want them to capture? And is it glamorous?
3-5. Live a glamorous lifestyle.
You may not be able to hop on a jet and lounge on a Brazilian beach just like that, but you can be selective in your activities.
If you want to lead the glamorous life of an artist, for example, it's more fitting to hang out in coffee shops, discussing art history with like-minded people til the early hours of the morning than to go bar-hopping.
3-6. Make your home glamorous too.
For those on a budget, you can use classic pieces. Imagine an old Hollywood actress is helping you decorate, but don't be afraid to add color.
Stay away from multiple different patterns, it will be too loud and distracting. The key is to look classic and fairly modern with your décor.
Watch old movies to get ideas.
You can also go to your local antique store and find pieces that you like.
Tips
Feel glamorous and confident. You will never be able to get the attitude if you think of yourself as the average Joe.
Just because you're creating an illusion doesn't mean you have to lie. It's better to be mysterious and vague than to get caught lying, which will look desperate, not glamorous. Remember that you don't have to tell anyone anything, and not telling them will leave them wanting to know more.
Learn from your role model who you want to be more like. What do they do that makes them glamorous? Remember to focus on the positive things. Generally speaking, saying little and doing very little that would be considered gossip-worthy will give you a lot more glamour and mystery than trying to create an image you can't control involving other people, events, or substances (including gossip, rumors, sex, & drugs)
Warnings
Don't insult, gossip, or be rude to people. If you do these things, you won't seem glamorous, you'll just seem like you are under false pretense.
People may insult or judge you, but if they're not close to you, who cares what they have to say anyway? Ignore them.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Glamorous\\n1-1. Keep your body clean and tidy.\\nTake regular showers to keep your body clean and smelling fresh. Avoid overly scented soaps, as these may clash with perfume you use.\\nUse deodorant and anti-antiperspirant. Like with soap, avoid any with a strong scent.\\nKeep hair and nails appropriately trimmed and maintained.\\nDon't forget to brush your teeth after every meal too! You don't want food sticking out of your teeth.\\n1-2. Keep your face clean and clear.\\nTry your best to be blemish free. That means no acne, no pimples, and no bruises or scars. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but find the best way to take care of your skin.\\nIf you have acne or pimples you should go to a dermatologist to try to find a skin product that works for you.\\nKeep your skin clean and clear by washing you face every day. You may or may not want to use soaps, as everyone's skin is different. Experiment to find a system that works for you.\\n1-3. Apply makeup only as you feel necessary.\\nStart with eyeliner. You should have either a small amount of eyeliner or a medium amount of eyeliner. Trace the natural shape of your eye on the upper lash-line, and put a little \\\"flick\\\" at the end, it's a classic, always gorgeous look.\\nFind your exact shade of concealer, and use that under your eyes if you have dark circles, and anywhere you may have scars etc. Use foundation if you need extra coverage or if your skin tone is uneven.\\nTo make your face appear more feminine, use a facial highlighter and apply on the high points of your face: your brow bone, your cheekbones, and the bridge of your nose.\\nCurl your lashes and apply mascara.\\nUsing two eyeshadow colors, apply the lighter one all over the lid and the darker one in the crease.\\nFind a lip color that works for you and use it, make sure you use a moisturizer before applying lip color.\\nChoose one or the other if you plan on applying heavy makeup--eyes or lips.\\n1-4. Maintain your hair.\\nYour hair should be nice and clean.\\nEveryone's hair is different and unique, and all can be glamorous if you find the right style for your look. Don't be a stranger to volume!\\nAny color is also possible, just make sure that it is befitting your natural coloring. Any color is ok, depending on your style. However, avoid bright colors because they tend to fade and look cheap.\\nYour hair should be always shiny and healthy. This means using leave in conditioner and generally keeping it healthy, while also getting regular haircuts to maintain the ends.\\n1-5. Keep your nails looking perfect.\\nKeep your nails trim, smooth, and healthy.\\nDon't neglect your cuticles. Keep them smooth and healthy. Don't push them back or trim them, which can lead to irritation or infection. Instead, use a good moisturizer for your hands at night and throughout the day as needed, paying special attention to the cuticles.\\nPaint your nails when you can. When the paint starts to chip, take it off. Avoid false nails, or if you choose to wear them, keep them short and natural in appearance. You may also use a nail buffer to keep your nails shiny without polish.\\n1-6. Stand up straight.\\nMaintaining good posture will make you look more confident and will also make you look taller. Plus, it's good for you!\\nSleep on your back to help develop good posture, then maintain that straight back throughout the day.\\nStrong stomach muscles are what help you stand straighter, so work out if you need to.\\nYou can also wear a back brace when you're at home to help train you to straighten your back.\\n2. Dressing Glamorous\\n2-1. Coordinate your outfits.\\nMake sure that everything matches. This is way more important than having expensive clothes! Nothing says \\\"glamour\\\" like being put together.\\nKeep colors matching by using a limited palette. Choose the colors that look best on you and then stick to well-matching colors or color families (Purple/Blue/Green, Red/Orange/Yellow, etc).\\nMatch styles as well. You don't want to mix a modern looking skirt with a vintage top or anything like that, as a general rule. While sometimes you can make it work and work well, it is easy to make it look off.\\nA good example is if you go running, wear a matching velour tracksuit, with sneakers that fit, and maybe a cute (matching) graphic tee underneath. It shows that even on your lazy days you are trying, or maybe you are so rich that this was the slouchiest outfit you could put together!\\n2-2. Wear clothes that flatter your natural shape.\\nDetermine your body shape (pear, hourglass, etc.) and then wear clothes that are best for that body shape.\\nDifferent cuts of clothing can flatter different body types. For example, triangle body types, which have broad shoulders, should avoid clothes with shoulder padding or puffs.\\nWearing clothes that flatter your shape will make you look good pretty much no matter what your body looks like.\\nExperiment to find what clothing cuts bring out your body's best features.\\n2-3. Always wear clothes that fit.\\nClothing that doesn't fit will not show you to your best advantage. Avoid clothes that don't fit in order to look healthy and amazing.\\nDon't wear clothes that are too big and hang off your frame, or clothes that are too small and create bulges.\\nYou also want to avoid pants with a waist that is too low, as your bum will spill over when you move around and this will destroy your glamorous look.\\nWhen you try on clothes, take three different sizes of the same item with you, one up and one down (even if you're sure of what your normal size is). Never be afraid to grab more sizes if those don't seem to work.\\n2-4. Wear nice clothes.\\nDon't wear clothes that look cheap. Avoid cheap looking fabrics like very low quality fabrics such as pleather (fake leather) or lame, fuzzy/feather materials.\\nOpt instead for clothes made from fine fabrics like silk, satin, high-quality lace (like Chantilly), cashmere, or modal.\\nYour clothes should also be well maintained. Don't wear clothes with holes or stains. Keep them clean, wrinkle-free, and looking sharp.\\nWear nice looking clothes even if you're doing things like running to the gym or doing errands.\\nAdhering to all the trends is not only expensive but can also make you look like you're trying too hard and create embarrassing photos of you in the future. Look timelessly glamorous by wearing classic styles.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\\/aid57342-v4-728px-Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nTrends to avoid include things like bell-bottom jeans, shoulder pads, or asymmetrical hem lines.\\nInstead, wear things like button-up shirts, knee length skirts, suits, and classic-cut dresses.\\nLook for inspiration to the look you are trying to achieve.\\n2-5. Don't dress down.\\nNever wear casual clothing if you can help it. Even your gym clothes should look nice.\\nFor whatever you're going out to do, shoot for dressing just a little bit nicer than what would be normal for the situation.\\nDon't go over the top though, wearing a ball gown to a dinner party is way too much. This will just make you come across as clownish.\\n2-6. Accessorize!\\nMake sure that even if you cannot afford expensive clothes, you accessorize well so that you liven the clothes up and make the outfit look more expensive.\\nWear earrings that are dramatic and have some sparkle or shine, but make sure that they fit the size and shape of your neck and face. You don't want them to look too big or too small.\\nA small, fancy necklace to wear all the time is good because it can make even casual outfits look more dressed up and intentional.\\nA diva-ish pair of sunglasses will never go wrong. Large sizes, like those popular in the 60s, look especially glamorous.\\nA shiny watch is almost mandatory! Just make sure it fits and if you have to, get links removed or added. Also, make sure it is a color that goes with everything in your closet and matches your skin tone.\\n3. Acting Glamorous\\n3-1. Act confident.\\nWhile looking confident won't make you visually look more glamorous, it will affect how people perceive you. If you want to be perceived as glamorous and fit in, you'll need to look like you love yourself and are comfortable in the skin you're in.\\nYou don't have to actually be confident but you do have to act like it (although you should learn to love yourself, and the rest will fall into place.) Most people, even if they seem really self-confident, actually are not, so don't feel bad.\\nDon't constantly apologize or defer to other people. Don't criticize yourself or put yourself down. A little self-deprecating humor is okay though.\\nSpeak up for yourself, be kind and compassionate (not stuck up or offensive), have good posture, and don't be afraid to do things that make you stand out, like talking intellectually, or about things you are passionate about.\\n3-2. Keep your emotions level.\\nGetting overly angry or emotional can ruin the glamorous look, making you look immature or like a bit of a jerk. Can you imagine Audrey Hepburn being a jerk? No.\\nNever create a scene, yell at people who upset you, or generally get extremely sensitive about something that's going on. Be in control of yourself, emotionally as well.\\n3-3. Think before you speak, making sure not to offend anyone or showing you may be scatter-brained.\\nSpeaking meaningfully, like acting confident, will help create the perception of glamour. The smarter you speak, the more classy and elegant you will seem.\\nAn accent isn't necessary to make yourself seem more glamorous, so don't try to fake one.\\nInstead, use the best grammar and vocabulary that you can.\\nPractice speaking when you're alone, if that helps you to overcome bad habits.\\n3-4. Be glamorous to be seen.\\nRemember that since being glamorous is about creating a great first impression, make sure to use your manners, especially when meeting someone for the first time.\\nEvery time you step outside your home into the public eye, strive to convey your image of glamour, but no matter what, stay true to yourself (people will respect you for it.)\\nImagine that you have photographers following you around all day--if they're snapping pictures, what do you want them to capture? And is it glamorous?\\n3-5. Live a glamorous lifestyle.\\nYou may not be able to hop on a jet and lounge on a Brazilian beach just like that, but you can be selective in your activities.\\nIf you want to lead the glamorous life of an artist, for example, it's more fitting to hang out in coffee shops, discussing art history with like-minded people til the early hours of the morning than to go bar-hopping.\\n3-6. Make your home glamorous too.\\nFor those on a budget, you can use classic pieces. Imagine an old Hollywood actress is helping you decorate, but don't be afraid to add color.\\nStay away from multiple different patterns, it will be too loud and distracting. The key is to look classic and fairly modern with your décor.\\nWatch old movies to get ideas.\\nYou can also go to your local antique store and find pieces that you like.\\nTips\\nFeel glamorous and confident. You will never be able to get the attitude if you think of yourself as the average Joe.\\nJust because you're creating an illusion doesn't mean you have to lie. It's better to be mysterious and vague than to get caught lying, which will look desperate, not glamorous. Remember that you don't have to tell anyone anything, and not telling them will leave them wanting to know more.\\nLearn from your role model who you want to be more like. What do they do that makes them glamorous? Remember to focus on the positive things. Generally speaking, saying little and doing very little that would be considered gossip-worthy will give you a lot more glamour and mystery than trying to create an image you can't control involving other people, events, or substances (including gossip, rumors, sex, & drugs)\\nWarnings\\nDon't insult, gossip, or be rude to people. If you do these things, you won't seem glamorous, you'll just seem like you are under false pretense.\\nPeople may insult or judge you, but if they're not close to you, who cares what they have to say anyway? Ignore them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The word \\\"glamour\\\" has its roots in spell-casting, sorcery and magical enchantment. Being glamorous is about feeling comfortable with yourself and your place in the world. Some consider the outward appearance, some consider their mind and intellect, others consider their sense of humor. No matter what it is, they are all equally important. As far as aesthetics go, or visual appearances, you want to create an illusion of fantasy and enticement, the spark you so badly want to reach out and obtain. If this sounds remotely alluring, you are well on your way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Glamorous\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your body clean and tidy.\", \"描述\": \"Take regular showers to keep your body clean and smelling fresh. Avoid overly scented soaps, as these may clash with perfume you use.\\nUse deodorant and anti-antiperspirant. Like with soap, avoid any with a strong scent.\\nKeep hair and nails appropriately trimmed and maintained.\\nDon't forget to brush your teeth after every meal too! You don't want food sticking out of your teeth.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your face clean and clear.\", \"描述\": \"Try your best to be blemish free. That means no acne, no pimples, and no bruises or scars. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but find the best way to take care of your skin.\\nIf you have acne or pimples you should go to a dermatologist to try to find a skin product that works for you.\\nKeep your skin clean and clear by washing you face every day. You may or may not want to use soaps, as everyone's skin is different. Experiment to find a system that works for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apply makeup only as you feel necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Start with eyeliner. You should have either a small amount of eyeliner or a medium amount of eyeliner. Trace the natural shape of your eye on the upper lash-line, and put a little \\\"flick\\\" at the end, it's a classic, always gorgeous look.\\nFind your exact shade of concealer, and use that under your eyes if you have dark circles, and anywhere you may have scars etc. Use foundation if you need extra coverage or if your skin tone is uneven.\\nTo make your face appear more feminine, use a facial highlighter and apply on the high points of your face: your brow bone, your cheekbones, and the bridge of your nose.\\nCurl your lashes and apply mascara.\\nUsing two eyeshadow colors, apply the lighter one all over the lid and the darker one in the crease.\\nFind a lip color that works for you and use it, make sure you use a moisturizer before applying lip color.\\nChoose one or the other if you plan on applying heavy makeup--eyes or lips.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Your hair should be nice and clean.\\nEveryone's hair is different and unique, and all can be glamorous if you find the right style for your look. Don't be a stranger to volume!\\nAny color is also possible, just make sure that it is befitting your natural coloring. Any color is ok, depending on your style. However, avoid bright colors because they tend to fade and look cheap.\\nYour hair should be always shiny and healthy. This means using leave in conditioner and generally keeping it healthy, while also getting regular haircuts to maintain the ends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your nails looking perfect.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your nails trim, smooth, and healthy.\\nDon't neglect your cuticles. Keep them smooth and healthy. Don't push them back or trim them, which can lead to irritation or infection. Instead, use a good moisturizer for your hands at night and throughout the day as needed, paying special attention to the cuticles.\\nPaint your nails when you can. When the paint starts to chip, take it off. Avoid false nails, or if you choose to wear them, keep them short and natural in appearance. You may also use a nail buffer to keep your nails shiny without polish.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stand up straight.\", \"描述\": \"Maintaining good posture will make you look more confident and will also make you look taller. Plus, it's good for you!\\nSleep on your back to help develop good posture, then maintain that straight back throughout the day.\\nStrong stomach muscles are what help you stand straighter, so work out if you need to.\\nYou can also wear a back brace when you're at home to help train you to straighten your back.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing Glamorous\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coordinate your outfits.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that everything matches. This is way more important than having expensive clothes! Nothing says \\\"glamour\\\" like being put together.\\nKeep colors matching by using a limited palette. Choose the colors that look best on you and then stick to well-matching colors or color families (Purple/Blue/Green, Red/Orange/Yellow, etc).\\nMatch styles as well. You don't want to mix a modern looking skirt with a vintage top or anything like that, as a general rule. While sometimes you can make it work and work well, it is easy to make it look off.\\nA good example is if you go running, wear a matching velour tracksuit, with sneakers that fit, and maybe a cute (matching) graphic tee underneath. It shows that even on your lazy days you are trying, or maybe you are so rich that this was the slouchiest outfit you could put together!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that flatter your natural shape.\", \"描述\": \"Determine your body shape (pear, hourglass, etc.) and then wear clothes that are best for that body shape.\\nDifferent cuts of clothing can flatter different body types. For example, triangle body types, which have broad shoulders, should avoid clothes with shoulder padding or puffs.\\nWearing clothes that flatter your shape will make you look good pretty much no matter what your body looks like.\\nExperiment to find what clothing cuts bring out your body's best features.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Always wear clothes that fit.\", \"描述\": \"Clothing that doesn't fit will not show you to your best advantage. Avoid clothes that don't fit in order to look healthy and amazing.\\nDon't wear clothes that are too big and hang off your frame, or clothes that are too small and create bulges.\\nYou also want to avoid pants with a waist that is too low, as your bum will spill over when you move around and this will destroy your glamorous look.\\nWhen you try on clothes, take three different sizes of the same item with you, one up and one down (even if you're sure of what your normal size is). Never be afraid to grab more sizes if those don't seem to work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear nice clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Don't wear clothes that look cheap. Avoid cheap looking fabrics like very low quality fabrics such as pleather (fake leather) or lame, fuzzy/feather materials.\\nOpt instead for clothes made from fine fabrics like silk, satin, high-quality lace (like Chantilly), cashmere, or modal.\\nYour clothes should also be well maintained. Don't wear clothes with holes or stains. Keep them clean, wrinkle-free, and looking sharp.\\nWear nice looking clothes even if you're doing things like running to the gym or doing errands.\\nAdhering to all the trends is not only expensive but can also make you look like you're trying too hard and create embarrassing photos of you in the future. Look timelessly glamorous by wearing classic styles.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\\/aid57342-v4-728px-Be-Glamorous-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nTrends to avoid include things like bell-bottom jeans, shoulder pads, or asymmetrical hem lines.\\nInstead, wear things like button-up shirts, knee length skirts, suits, and classic-cut dresses.\\nLook for inspiration to the look you are trying to achieve.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't dress down.\", \"描述\": \"Never wear casual clothing if you can help it. Even your gym clothes should look nice.\\nFor whatever you're going out to do, shoot for dressing just a little bit nicer than what would be normal for the situation.\\nDon't go over the top though, wearing a ball gown to a dinner party is way too much. This will just make you come across as clownish.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accessorize!\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that even if you cannot afford expensive clothes, you accessorize well so that you liven the clothes up and make the outfit look more expensive.\\nWear earrings that are dramatic and have some sparkle or shine, but make sure that they fit the size and shape of your neck and face. You don't want them to look too big or too small.\\nA small, fancy necklace to wear all the time is good because it can make even casual outfits look more dressed up and intentional.\\nA diva-ish pair of sunglasses will never go wrong. Large sizes, like those popular in the 60s, look especially glamorous.\\nA shiny watch is almost mandatory! Just make sure it fits and if you have to, get links removed or added. Also, make sure it is a color that goes with everything in your closet and matches your skin tone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acting Glamorous\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act confident.\", \"描述\": \"While looking confident won't make you visually look more glamorous, it will affect how people perceive you. If you want to be perceived as glamorous and fit in, you'll need to look like you love yourself and are comfortable in the skin you're in.\\nYou don't have to actually be confident but you do have to act like it (although you should learn to love yourself, and the rest will fall into place.) Most people, even if they seem really self-confident, actually are not, so don't feel bad.\\nDon't constantly apologize or defer to other people. Don't criticize yourself or put yourself down. A little self-deprecating humor is okay though.\\nSpeak up for yourself, be kind and compassionate (not stuck up or offensive), have good posture, and don't be afraid to do things that make you stand out, like talking intellectually, or about things you are passionate about.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your emotions level.\", \"描述\": \"Getting overly angry or emotional can ruin the glamorous look, making you look immature or like a bit of a jerk. Can you imagine Audrey Hepburn being a jerk? No.\\nNever create a scene, yell at people who upset you, or generally get extremely sensitive about something that's going on. Be in control of yourself, emotionally as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak, making sure not to offend anyone or showing you may be scatter-brained.\", \"描述\": \"Speaking meaningfully, like acting confident, will help create the perception of glamour. The smarter you speak, the more classy and elegant you will seem.\\nAn accent isn't necessary to make yourself seem more glamorous, so don't try to fake one.\\nInstead, use the best grammar and vocabulary that you can.\\nPractice speaking when you're alone, if that helps you to overcome bad habits.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be glamorous to be seen.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that since being glamorous is about creating a great first impression, make sure to use your manners, especially when meeting someone for the first time.\\nEvery time you step outside your home into the public eye, strive to convey your image of glamour, but no matter what, stay true to yourself (people will respect you for it.)\\nImagine that you have photographers following you around all day--if they're snapping pictures, what do you want them to capture? And is it glamorous?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Live a glamorous lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"You may not be able to hop on a jet and lounge on a Brazilian beach just like that, but you can be selective in your activities.\\nIf you want to lead the glamorous life of an artist, for example, it's more fitting to hang out in coffee shops, discussing art history with like-minded people til the early hours of the morning than to go bar-hopping.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make your home glamorous too.\", \"描述\": \"For those on a budget, you can use classic pieces. Imagine an old Hollywood actress is helping you decorate, but don't be afraid to add color.\\nStay away from multiple different patterns, it will be too loud and distracting. The key is to look classic and fairly modern with your décor.\\nWatch old movies to get ideas.\\nYou can also go to your local antique store and find pieces that you like.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Feel glamorous and confident. You will never be able to get the attitude if you think of yourself as the average Joe.\\n\", \"Just because you're creating an illusion doesn't mean you have to lie. It's better to be mysterious and vague than to get caught lying, which will look desperate, not glamorous. Remember that you don't have to tell anyone anything, and not telling them will leave them wanting to know more.\\n\", \"Learn from your role model who you want to be more like. What do they do that makes them glamorous? Remember to focus on the positive things. Generally speaking, saying little and doing very little that would be considered gossip-worthy will give you a lot more glamour and mystery than trying to create an image you can't control involving other people, events, or substances (including gossip, rumors, sex, & drugs)\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't insult, gossip, or be rude to people. If you do these things, you won't seem glamorous, you'll just seem like you are under false pretense.\\n\", \"People may insult or judge you, but if they're not close to you, who cares what they have to say anyway? Ignore them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,756 | How to Be Good Friends With a Girl (Guys) | 1. Becoming Better Friends With A Girl You Know
1-1. Find common interests and do them together.
Sharing activities with the girl will improve your relationship with her. When you have a good time with a girl, she is more likely to remember the experience. Friendships are typically started because two people share a common interest, so it's important that you both share one before becoming better friends.
One way to avoid sending mixed signals is to tell the girl how much the activity costs. By doing this you are setting the tempo for a friendly hang-out and not a date.
You can go to a restaurant to eat, travel to an amusement park, attend another friend's birthday party, go surfing, join an art class, or do anything else that you both like.
Hanging out inside and watching movies is always an option if there isn't anything to do.
1-2. Have genuine and vulnerable conversations.
As humans, we bond over a conversation, especially if the topic of conversation is something that we hold emotionally dear. The more you have conversations about each other's lives, the more connected you will feel. Being vulnerable means listening to her fears and emotions and being open to talking about yours.
Don't be critical of her if she comes to you with a problem. The last thing a girl wants to hear is how she did wrong when she already knows she messed up.
Always listen for the girl's perspective and see where she is coming from before giving your advice.
Asking a girl for advice will open up trust, and she will become more likely to seek you out for her advice.
1-3. Compliment her in a non-sexual way.
Getting compliments makes us feel good and motivates us to do things. You should always compliment a girl when you admire something she has accomplished or achieved. However, you shouldn't compliment a girl when it comes to her looks, because it can put her in an uncomfortable place if you're just friends. Instead, take cues from the compliments that she gives to you. If she never mentions your physical appearance, it's best to not mention her looks.
Refrain from saying things like “you're so beautiful,” or other things that are just on the surface level.
Instead, try saying:
"You're so fun to be around!"
"You're good at what you do."
"You make me laugh."
2. Keeping Your Friendships Strong
2-1. Keep in contact with her.
As time goes on it can be harder to maintain strong relationships with a girl, so you might have to put in a more concerted effort to text or call her. If you still live close to one another, make sure you keep her in mind for social events and gatherings. Remembering a friend's birthday is also another great reason to reach out to her or give her a visit.
If your friend moves to another state, try staying active with her on social media.
If your friend is busy, go to her. Make it convenient for her if you have the extra time. She will appreciate it down the road.
2-2. Go out with her if she invites you to something.
The more you accept social invitations, the more likely girls will invite you to future events. This is especially important if the girl is attending an event she doesn't want to go to and needs a friend to support her.
If you are busy or have something else to do and can't attend, make sure to tell your friend far enough in advance so she can find someone else to go with.
If you don't want to go to something, don't go. Your negative energy will probably make interactions between you and her worse than she would normally be. Tell your friend why you don't want to. Communication is key, and telling her avoids misunderstandings.
2-3. Be the emotional support she needs.
Many people go through different ups and downs, and most people need friends to act as emotional support during the rough times.
Being a good friend also means knowing when to back off and allow someone to grieve. Make sure not to be overbearing.
Emotional support is also necessary for stressful but happy times, like before a performance or sporting event.
2-4. Refrain from being sexual or romantic unless that's what she wants.
One of the easiest ways to destroy a friendship with the opposite sex is to be overtly sexual or romantic when it is not wanted. Not only does it make the girl feel uncomfortable, but it might also make her sad because she cares about you as a friend, but not in a romantic way. A friendship can eventually blossom into a romantic relationship, but it only occurs when both people want it.
If you develop romantic feelings for your friend, you should tell her. Be wary however, it may hurt your friendship in the long run.
If your friend wants to be romantic with you, and you are okay with that, go for it. The best relationships are built off friendships.
3. Meeting New Girls
3-1. Attend social gatherings that girls are going to.
Try to attend social gatherings where there are girls that you'd want to be friends with. Be on the lookout for popular events going on in your city or town, and be ready to go to her. If you can, try taking a course that interests you like a community art class, or join an intramural sports club. Meeting new people is easy, you just need to put yourself in a situation that allows you to be around them.
If there is a limited opportunity to be social, try to get creative. You can meet girls at the grocery store, your place of worship, the gym, or at a shopping mall.
If you are in school you have the perfect opportunity to meet new girls from your class. Go up to her before or after the class starts.
3-2. Introduce yourself to girls whom you'd want to be friends with.
Tell the girl your name, and ask her what her name is. Start small-talk by talking about what you are both doing, or where you both are at the time.
If you are anxious about approaching new people, the only way to feel less nervous is to just do it. The worst thing that can happen is that she might not want to talk to you.
Good questions include, “this place is really fun, do you like it?” or “that lecture was boring, what do you think of the class?”
Try coming off as confident but not pushy. Just talk to the girl as if you were talking to a good male friend, but more polite.
3-3. Determine what you share in common and talk about it.
There's a good chance that the girl you want to be friends with shares something in common with you because you are both at the same social gathering. For instance, if you are meeting girls at a sports club, you'll most likely share an interest in sports or if you're at an art class interested in art, etc. Try to find a common bond, and something you are knowledgeable about and that you like to talk about.
Try to be funny and lighthearted when you are talking to a girl. If you can make her laugh, it'll be more likely she will want to be your friend.
Be a good listener and let her talk. The more you ask questions, the more she will open up and feel comfortable. You should be responding and stating your opinion, but you should also be concentrated on being a good listener.
3-4. Get her contact information.
Once you feel like you and the girl you've met have had a good conversation, make sure to get her cell phone number. Don't be afraid of asking her for it, especially if the conversation went well. Tell her that you had fun talking, and ask her if she wants to talk again. If she does, then get her information.
If the conversation went poorly, there's a good chance she won't want to give you her number.
If you're unsure of when you are leaving, you can even ask before the conversation ends.
3-5. Text her to hang out.
Determine something that you can both do, and ask her if she wants to meet up with you. This could be lunch, rock climbing, or going to see a band. If you're having problems thinking of something to do, try to remember what you've talked about previously, and choose something that interests you both. Don't make the hang-out romantic and don't flirt in your texts or you might send off the wrong signals. You can even go as far as to tell her that you're not looking to date right now.
Don't text her too many times if she isn't responding. She may be busy or may just not want to talk. You don't want to look desperate for friends, and you also don't want to make her angry or annoyed.
Funny or interesting images are also good things you can share via text.
Try to be as nice as possible in your texts. Since she can't hear your voice intonation, you don't want to be sarcastic because she may take it literally.
If the girl is texting you a lot, then you should text back. Try to figure out how much she likes texting, and then try to match that energy.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Becoming Better Friends With A Girl You Know\\n1-1. Find common interests and do them together.\\nSharing activities with the girl will improve your relationship with her. When you have a good time with a girl, she is more likely to remember the experience. Friendships are typically started because two people share a common interest, so it's important that you both share one before becoming better friends. \\nOne way to avoid sending mixed signals is to tell the girl how much the activity costs. By doing this you are setting the tempo for a friendly hang-out and not a date.\\nYou can go to a restaurant to eat, travel to an amusement park, attend another friend's birthday party, go surfing, join an art class, or do anything else that you both like.\\nHanging out inside and watching movies is always an option if there isn't anything to do.\\n1-2. Have genuine and vulnerable conversations.\\nAs humans, we bond over a conversation, especially if the topic of conversation is something that we hold emotionally dear. The more you have conversations about each other's lives, the more connected you will feel. Being vulnerable means listening to her fears and emotions and being open to talking about yours. \\nDon't be critical of her if she comes to you with a problem. The last thing a girl wants to hear is how she did wrong when she already knows she messed up.\\nAlways listen for the girl's perspective and see where she is coming from before giving your advice.\\nAsking a girl for advice will open up trust, and she will become more likely to seek you out for her advice.\\n1-3. Compliment her in a non-sexual way.\\nGetting compliments makes us feel good and motivates us to do things. You should always compliment a girl when you admire something she has accomplished or achieved. However, you shouldn't compliment a girl when it comes to her looks, because it can put her in an uncomfortable place if you're just friends. Instead, take cues from the compliments that she gives to you. If she never mentions your physical appearance, it's best to not mention her looks. \\nRefrain from saying things like “you're so beautiful,” or other things that are just on the surface level.\\nInstead, try saying:\\n\\\"You're so fun to be around!\\\"\\n\\\"You're good at what you do.\\\"\\n\\\"You make me laugh.\\\"\\n2. Keeping Your Friendships Strong\\n2-1. Keep in contact with her.\\nAs time goes on it can be harder to maintain strong relationships with a girl, so you might have to put in a more concerted effort to text or call her. If you still live close to one another, make sure you keep her in mind for social events and gatherings. Remembering a friend's birthday is also another great reason to reach out to her or give her a visit. \\nIf your friend moves to another state, try staying active with her on social media.\\nIf your friend is busy, go to her. Make it convenient for her if you have the extra time. She will appreciate it down the road.\\n2-2. Go out with her if she invites you to something.\\nThe more you accept social invitations, the more likely girls will invite you to future events. This is especially important if the girl is attending an event she doesn't want to go to and needs a friend to support her. \\nIf you are busy or have something else to do and can't attend, make sure to tell your friend far enough in advance so she can find someone else to go with.\\nIf you don't want to go to something, don't go. Your negative energy will probably make interactions between you and her worse than she would normally be. Tell your friend why you don't want to. Communication is key, and telling her avoids misunderstandings.\\n2-3. Be the emotional support she needs.\\nMany people go through different ups and downs, and most people need friends to act as emotional support during the rough times.\\nBeing a good friend also means knowing when to back off and allow someone to grieve. Make sure not to be overbearing.\\nEmotional support is also necessary for stressful but happy times, like before a performance or sporting event.\\n2-4. Refrain from being sexual or romantic unless that's what she wants.\\nOne of the easiest ways to destroy a friendship with the opposite sex is to be overtly sexual or romantic when it is not wanted. Not only does it make the girl feel uncomfortable, but it might also make her sad because she cares about you as a friend, but not in a romantic way. A friendship can eventually blossom into a romantic relationship, but it only occurs when both people want it. \\nIf you develop romantic feelings for your friend, you should tell her. Be wary however, it may hurt your friendship in the long run.\\nIf your friend wants to be romantic with you, and you are okay with that, go for it. The best relationships are built off friendships.\\n3. Meeting New Girls\\n3-1. Attend social gatherings that girls are going to.\\nTry to attend social gatherings where there are girls that you'd want to be friends with. Be on the lookout for popular events going on in your city or town, and be ready to go to her. If you can, try taking a course that interests you like a community art class, or join an intramural sports club. Meeting new people is easy, you just need to put yourself in a situation that allows you to be around them.\\nIf there is a limited opportunity to be social, try to get creative. You can meet girls at the grocery store, your place of worship, the gym, or at a shopping mall.\\nIf you are in school you have the perfect opportunity to meet new girls from your class. Go up to her before or after the class starts.\\n3-2. Introduce yourself to girls whom you'd want to be friends with.\\nTell the girl your name, and ask her what her name is. Start small-talk by talking about what you are both doing, or where you both are at the time.\\nIf you are anxious about approaching new people, the only way to feel less nervous is to just do it. The worst thing that can happen is that she might not want to talk to you.\\nGood questions include, “this place is really fun, do you like it?” or “that lecture was boring, what do you think of the class?”\\nTry coming off as confident but not pushy. Just talk to the girl as if you were talking to a good male friend, but more polite.\\n3-3. Determine what you share in common and talk about it.\\nThere's a good chance that the girl you want to be friends with shares something in common with you because you are both at the same social gathering. For instance, if you are meeting girls at a sports club, you'll most likely share an interest in sports or if you're at an art class interested in art, etc. Try to find a common bond, and something you are knowledgeable about and that you like to talk about.\\nTry to be funny and lighthearted when you are talking to a girl. If you can make her laugh, it'll be more likely she will want to be your friend.\\nBe a good listener and let her talk. The more you ask questions, the more she will open up and feel comfortable. You should be responding and stating your opinion, but you should also be concentrated on being a good listener.\\n3-4. Get her contact information.\\nOnce you feel like you and the girl you've met have had a good conversation, make sure to get her cell phone number. Don't be afraid of asking her for it, especially if the conversation went well. Tell her that you had fun talking, and ask her if she wants to talk again. If she does, then get her information. \\nIf the conversation went poorly, there's a good chance she won't want to give you her number.\\nIf you're unsure of when you are leaving, you can even ask before the conversation ends.\\n3-5. Text her to hang out.\\nDetermine something that you can both do, and ask her if she wants to meet up with you. This could be lunch, rock climbing, or going to see a band. If you're having problems thinking of something to do, try to remember what you've talked about previously, and choose something that interests you both. Don't make the hang-out romantic and don't flirt in your texts or you might send off the wrong signals. You can even go as far as to tell her that you're not looking to date right now.\\nDon't text her too many times if she isn't responding. She may be busy or may just not want to talk. You don't want to look desperate for friends, and you also don't want to make her angry or annoyed.\\nFunny or interesting images are also good things you can share via text.\\nTry to be as nice as possible in your texts. Since she can't hear your voice intonation, you don't want to be sarcastic because she may take it literally.\\nIf the girl is texting you a lot, then you should text back. Try to figure out how much she likes texting, and then try to match that energy.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Figuring out how to become good friends with a girl when you’re a guy can be a little confusing. How do you go about asking her to hang out, and what kinds of things should you do and talk about together? Fortunately, befriending a girl doesn’t have to be complicated. Just treat your friendship the same way you treat your guy friendships, and make sure you keep things platonic if you’re not trying to become more than friends.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming Better Friends With A Girl You Know\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find common interests and do them together.\", \"描述\": \"Sharing activities with the girl will improve your relationship with her. When you have a good time with a girl, she is more likely to remember the experience. Friendships are typically started because two people share a common interest, so it's important that you both share one before becoming better friends. \\nOne way to avoid sending mixed signals is to tell the girl how much the activity costs. By doing this you are setting the tempo for a friendly hang-out and not a date.\\nYou can go to a restaurant to eat, travel to an amusement park, attend another friend's birthday party, go surfing, join an art class, or do anything else that you both like.\\nHanging out inside and watching movies is always an option if there isn't anything to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have genuine and vulnerable conversations.\", \"描述\": \"As humans, we bond over a conversation, especially if the topic of conversation is something that we hold emotionally dear. The more you have conversations about each other's lives, the more connected you will feel. Being vulnerable means listening to her fears and emotions and being open to talking about yours. \\nDon't be critical of her if she comes to you with a problem. The last thing a girl wants to hear is how she did wrong when she already knows she messed up.\\nAlways listen for the girl's perspective and see where she is coming from before giving your advice.\\nAsking a girl for advice will open up trust, and she will become more likely to seek you out for her advice.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment her in a non-sexual way.\", \"描述\": \"Getting compliments makes us feel good and motivates us to do things. You should always compliment a girl when you admire something she has accomplished or achieved. However, you shouldn't compliment a girl when it comes to her looks, because it can put her in an uncomfortable place if you're just friends. Instead, take cues from the compliments that she gives to you. If she never mentions your physical appearance, it's best to not mention her looks. \\nRefrain from saying things like “you're so beautiful,” or other things that are just on the surface level.\\nInstead, try saying:\\n\\\"You're so fun to be around!\\\"\\n\\\"You're good at what you do.\\\"\\n\\\"You make me laugh.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Friendships Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep in contact with her.\", \"描述\": \"As time goes on it can be harder to maintain strong relationships with a girl, so you might have to put in a more concerted effort to text or call her. If you still live close to one another, make sure you keep her in mind for social events and gatherings. Remembering a friend's birthday is also another great reason to reach out to her or give her a visit. \\nIf your friend moves to another state, try staying active with her on social media.\\nIf your friend is busy, go to her. Make it convenient for her if you have the extra time. She will appreciate it down the road.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go out with her if she invites you to something.\", \"描述\": \"The more you accept social invitations, the more likely girls will invite you to future events. This is especially important if the girl is attending an event she doesn't want to go to and needs a friend to support her. \\nIf you are busy or have something else to do and can't attend, make sure to tell your friend far enough in advance so she can find someone else to go with.\\nIf you don't want to go to something, don't go. Your negative energy will probably make interactions between you and her worse than she would normally be. Tell your friend why you don't want to. Communication is key, and telling her avoids misunderstandings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be the emotional support she needs.\", \"描述\": \"Many people go through different ups and downs, and most people need friends to act as emotional support during the rough times.\\nBeing a good friend also means knowing when to back off and allow someone to grieve. Make sure not to be overbearing.\\nEmotional support is also necessary for stressful but happy times, like before a performance or sporting event.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Refrain from being sexual or romantic unless that's what she wants.\", \"描述\": \"One of the easiest ways to destroy a friendship with the opposite sex is to be overtly sexual or romantic when it is not wanted. Not only does it make the girl feel uncomfortable, but it might also make her sad because she cares about you as a friend, but not in a romantic way. A friendship can eventually blossom into a romantic relationship, but it only occurs when both people want it. \\nIf you develop romantic feelings for your friend, you should tell her. Be wary however, it may hurt your friendship in the long run.\\nIf your friend wants to be romantic with you, and you are okay with that, go for it. The best relationships are built off friendships.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meeting New Girls\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attend social gatherings that girls are going to.\", \"描述\": \"Try to attend social gatherings where there are girls that you'd want to be friends with. Be on the lookout for popular events going on in your city or town, and be ready to go to her. If you can, try taking a course that interests you like a community art class, or join an intramural sports club. Meeting new people is easy, you just need to put yourself in a situation that allows you to be around them.\\nIf there is a limited opportunity to be social, try to get creative. You can meet girls at the grocery store, your place of worship, the gym, or at a shopping mall.\\nIf you are in school you have the perfect opportunity to meet new girls from your class. Go up to her before or after the class starts.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself to girls whom you'd want to be friends with.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the girl your name, and ask her what her name is. Start small-talk by talking about what you are both doing, or where you both are at the time.\\nIf you are anxious about approaching new people, the only way to feel less nervous is to just do it. The worst thing that can happen is that she might not want to talk to you.\\nGood questions include, “this place is really fun, do you like it?” or “that lecture was boring, what do you think of the class?”\\nTry coming off as confident but not pushy. Just talk to the girl as if you were talking to a good male friend, but more polite.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine what you share in common and talk about it.\", \"描述\": \"There's a good chance that the girl you want to be friends with shares something in common with you because you are both at the same social gathering. For instance, if you are meeting girls at a sports club, you'll most likely share an interest in sports or if you're at an art class interested in art, etc. Try to find a common bond, and something you are knowledgeable about and that you like to talk about.\\nTry to be funny and lighthearted when you are talking to a girl. If you can make her laugh, it'll be more likely she will want to be your friend.\\nBe a good listener and let her talk. The more you ask questions, the more she will open up and feel comfortable. You should be responding and stating your opinion, but you should also be concentrated on being a good listener.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get her contact information.\", \"描述\": \"Once you feel like you and the girl you've met have had a good conversation, make sure to get her cell phone number. Don't be afraid of asking her for it, especially if the conversation went well. Tell her that you had fun talking, and ask her if she wants to talk again. If she does, then get her information. \\nIf the conversation went poorly, there's a good chance she won't want to give you her number.\\nIf you're unsure of when you are leaving, you can even ask before the conversation ends.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Text her to hang out.\", \"描述\": \"Determine something that you can both do, and ask her if she wants to meet up with you. This could be lunch, rock climbing, or going to see a band. If you're having problems thinking of something to do, try to remember what you've talked about previously, and choose something that interests you both. Don't make the hang-out romantic and don't flirt in your texts or you might send off the wrong signals. You can even go as far as to tell her that you're not looking to date right now.\\nDon't text her too many times if she isn't responding. She may be busy or may just not want to talk. You don't want to look desperate for friends, and you also don't want to make her angry or annoyed.\\nFunny or interesting images are also good things you can share via text.\\nTry to be as nice as possible in your texts. Since she can't hear your voice intonation, you don't want to be sarcastic because she may take it literally.\\nIf the girl is texting you a lot, then you should text back. Try to figure out how much she likes texting, and then try to match that energy.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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3,757 | How to Be Good Looking | 1. Smile more.
Make yourself look friendly and approachable.
Walking around with a constant frown is like wearing a "Keep Away" sign. Even a little smile will brighten your face, making you look friendlier and, thus, more attractive. You don’t have to have a huge grin on your face every day (that’s a little scary), but a small, pleasant smile can make you look more approachable and attractive.
Studies also show that smiling can make you look younger.
Smiling a lot can also help boost your mood and make you feel happier.
2. Keep confident body language.
Self-esteem can give you an incredible makeover.
Put your chin up and keep your spine straight. Push your shoulders back and try to look everyone in the eye as you talk to them. When you’re standing, spread your feet into a wide stance. The more confidence you exude, the better you’re going to look.
Look more approachable by keeping your arms uncrossed.
Even if you don’t feel totally confident, you can fake it until you make it. Before you know it, you’ll actually feel more confident than when you started.
3. Get a new haircut.
The right haircut can open up your face and refresh your style.
Choose something that flatters your face. For men, round faces look handsome with tapered fades or mid fades with a pompadour, square faces look good with buzzcuts and side-swept parts, oval faces look strong with undercuts, and heart-shaped faces look good with long fringe and a lot of volume up top. For women, round faces look great with angular haircuts, square faces look good with lots of soft layers, oval faces look awesome with blunt bangs, and heart-shaped faces look great with swooped bangs. If you’re not sure what to get, talk with your hair stylist to figure out what’s right for you.
Don’t be surprised by the price tag—a good haircut can cost upwards of $100 in a salon.
4. Use a self-tanner.
Give yourself a healthy glow all year round.
While indoor tanning beds are dangerous (and can increase your risk for skin cancer), a spray tan isn’t risky at all. You can get one professionally done or use a self-tanning lotion at home for a bronzed, glowy look.
Try not to go too dark too fast. Too much self-tanner runs the risk of looking orange.
5. Whiten your teeth.
Make those pearly whites shine again.
If your teeth are looking a little dingy or yellow, head to the store and pick up a package of white strips. If you have any harsh stains or discoloration, make an appointment with your dentist for a professional whitening treatment. White teeth can make you look younger and more attractive right away!
Whitening your teeth can lead to increased tooth sensitivity, so use caution if you already have sensitive teeth.
6. Take care of your skin.
A good skincare routine can make you look glowy.
Wash your face with a gentle cleanser and warm water, then dab on a moisturizer. If you have oily skin or you’re prone to breakouts, try using products with azelaic acid in them. If you’re noticing wrinkles or dark marks on your skin, try an anti-aging cream that contains retinoids.
Add sunscreen on top of everything to protect your skin from UV rays. SPF 30 or higher will keep your skin looking young and fresh for much longer.
7. Take the time to dress well.
Pick a style and go for clothes that fit.
First, think of a style or a person you want to emulate: maybe you like the skater aesthetic, or perhaps you’re going for a more business casual vibe. Then, look online for inspiration as you pick out pieces. You don’t have to spend a ton on a new wardrobe—you might be surprised at what you find in your very own closet.
As you pick out clothes, make sure they flatter your body type and fit you well.
8. Exercise every day.
It will keep you fit, toned, and good looking.
There’s no need to bulk up and gain a ton of muscle, but aim for getting 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day. You could try running, jogging, swimming, biking, hiking, or doing yoga to keep your body in shape. Focus on feeling good in your own body, not conforming to anyone else’s beauty standards.
Not only will exercising keep you looking good, it also releases endorphins to make you feel good, too.
9. Eat a balanced diet.
The right nutrition can clear your skin and make you look great.
Try to eat plenty of lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as you make your meals. In particular, vitamin C, vitamin E, healthy plant fats, and fish are all great for your skin, and they can help you look glowy and more attractive.
You can find vitamin C in most citrus fruits, like oranges, limes, and lemons.
Get your vitamin E from nuts, seeds, fruits, and veggies.
Healthy plant fats come from avocados, canola oil, olive oil, peanuts, and flaxseeds.
10. Emphasize your features with makeup.
It’s not a necessity, but it can help you feel more confident.
To cover up blemishes and make your skin look glowy, try a light BB cream or a tinted moisturizer. Add some mascara and a bit of lip gloss for an everyday look that can’t be beat. Or, go all out glam with full coverage foundation, fun eyeshadow, falsies, and bold lipstick. Just like your clothes, your makeup should enhance your natural features and be appropriate for the occasion.
If you’ve never worn makeup before and you want to try it out, look up some online tutorials on YouTube.
You don’t have to break your bank to buy expensive makeup products. Most drug stores have the basics, and you can start with those as you learn how to apply them.
Tips
If you love yourself, other people will gravitate towards you. Nothing is more attractive than a happy, healthy attitude.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Smile more.\\nMake yourself look friendly and approachable.\\nWalking around with a constant frown is like wearing a \\\"Keep Away\\\" sign. Even a little smile will brighten your face, making you look friendlier and, thus, more attractive. You don’t have to have a huge grin on your face every day (that’s a little scary), but a small, pleasant smile can make you look more approachable and attractive.\\nStudies also show that smiling can make you look younger.\\nSmiling a lot can also help boost your mood and make you feel happier.\\n2. Keep confident body language.\\nSelf-esteem can give you an incredible makeover.\\nPut your chin up and keep your spine straight. Push your shoulders back and try to look everyone in the eye as you talk to them. When you’re standing, spread your feet into a wide stance. The more confidence you exude, the better you’re going to look.\\nLook more approachable by keeping your arms uncrossed.\\nEven if you don’t feel totally confident, you can fake it until you make it. Before you know it, you’ll actually feel more confident than when you started.\\n3. Get a new haircut.\\nThe right haircut can open up your face and refresh your style.\\nChoose something that flatters your face. For men, round faces look handsome with tapered fades or mid fades with a pompadour, square faces look good with buzzcuts and side-swept parts, oval faces look strong with undercuts, and heart-shaped faces look good with long fringe and a lot of volume up top. For women, round faces look great with angular haircuts, square faces look good with lots of soft layers, oval faces look awesome with blunt bangs, and heart-shaped faces look great with swooped bangs. If you’re not sure what to get, talk with your hair stylist to figure out what’s right for you.\\nDon’t be surprised by the price tag—a good haircut can cost upwards of $100 in a salon.\\n4. Use a self-tanner.\\nGive yourself a healthy glow all year round.\\nWhile indoor tanning beds are dangerous (and can increase your risk for skin cancer), a spray tan isn’t risky at all. You can get one professionally done or use a self-tanning lotion at home for a bronzed, glowy look.\\nTry not to go too dark too fast. Too much self-tanner runs the risk of looking orange.\\n5. Whiten your teeth.\\nMake those pearly whites shine again.\\nIf your teeth are looking a little dingy or yellow, head to the store and pick up a package of white strips. If you have any harsh stains or discoloration, make an appointment with your dentist for a professional whitening treatment. White teeth can make you look younger and more attractive right away!\\nWhitening your teeth can lead to increased tooth sensitivity, so use caution if you already have sensitive teeth.\\n6. Take care of your skin.\\nA good skincare routine can make you look glowy.\\nWash your face with a gentle cleanser and warm water, then dab on a moisturizer. If you have oily skin or you’re prone to breakouts, try using products with azelaic acid in them. If you’re noticing wrinkles or dark marks on your skin, try an anti-aging cream that contains retinoids.\\nAdd sunscreen on top of everything to protect your skin from UV rays. SPF 30 or higher will keep your skin looking young and fresh for much longer.\\n7. Take the time to dress well.\\nPick a style and go for clothes that fit.\\nFirst, think of a style or a person you want to emulate: maybe you like the skater aesthetic, or perhaps you’re going for a more business casual vibe. Then, look online for inspiration as you pick out pieces. You don’t have to spend a ton on a new wardrobe—you might be surprised at what you find in your very own closet.\\nAs you pick out clothes, make sure they flatter your body type and fit you well.\\n8. Exercise every day.\\nIt will keep you fit, toned, and good looking.\\nThere’s no need to bulk up and gain a ton of muscle, but aim for getting 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day. You could try running, jogging, swimming, biking, hiking, or doing yoga to keep your body in shape. Focus on feeling good in your own body, not conforming to anyone else’s beauty standards.\\nNot only will exercising keep you looking good, it also releases endorphins to make you feel good, too.\\n9. Eat a balanced diet.\\nThe right nutrition can clear your skin and make you look great.\\nTry to eat plenty of lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as you make your meals. In particular, vitamin C, vitamin E, healthy plant fats, and fish are all great for your skin, and they can help you look glowy and more attractive.\\nYou can find vitamin C in most citrus fruits, like oranges, limes, and lemons.\\nGet your vitamin E from nuts, seeds, fruits, and veggies.\\nHealthy plant fats come from avocados, canola oil, olive oil, peanuts, and flaxseeds.\\n10. Emphasize your features with makeup.\\nIt’s not a necessity, but it can help you feel more confident.\\nTo cover up blemishes and make your skin look glowy, try a light BB cream or a tinted moisturizer. Add some mascara and a bit of lip gloss for an everyday look that can’t be beat. Or, go all out glam with full coverage foundation, fun eyeshadow, falsies, and bold lipstick. Just like your clothes, your makeup should enhance your natural features and be appropriate for the occasion.\\nIf you’ve never worn makeup before and you want to try it out, look up some online tutorials on YouTube.\\nYou don’t have to break your bank to buy expensive makeup products. Most drug stores have the basics, and you can start with those as you learn how to apply them.\\nTips\\nIf you love yourself, other people will gravitate towards you. Nothing is more attractive than a happy, healthy attitude.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Looks may not be everything, but it sure doesn't hurt to be easy on the eyes. Fortunately, there’s a lot more to looks than what’s in your genes (or your jeans, for that matter). By making a few changes to your daily habits, you can boost your self-esteem and make sure you look great every day.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile more.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make yourself look friendly and approachable.\", \"描述\": \"Walking around with a constant frown is like wearing a \\\"Keep Away\\\" sign. Even a little smile will brighten your face, making you look friendlier and, thus, more attractive. You don’t have to have a huge grin on your face every day (that’s a little scary), but a small, pleasant smile can make you look more approachable and attractive.\\nStudies also show that smiling can make you look younger.\\nSmiling a lot can also help boost your mood and make you feel happier.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep confident body language.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Self-esteem can give you an incredible makeover.\", \"描述\": \"Put your chin up and keep your spine straight. Push your shoulders back and try to look everyone in the eye as you talk to them. When you’re standing, spread your feet into a wide stance. The more confidence you exude, the better you’re going to look.\\nLook more approachable by keeping your arms uncrossed.\\nEven if you don’t feel totally confident, you can fake it until you make it. Before you know it, you’ll actually feel more confident than when you started.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a new haircut.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The right haircut can open up your face and refresh your style.\", \"描述\": \"Choose something that flatters your face. For men, round faces look handsome with tapered fades or mid fades with a pompadour, square faces look good with buzzcuts and side-swept parts, oval faces look strong with undercuts, and heart-shaped faces look good with long fringe and a lot of volume up top. For women, round faces look great with angular haircuts, square faces look good with lots of soft layers, oval faces look awesome with blunt bangs, and heart-shaped faces look great with swooped bangs. If you’re not sure what to get, talk with your hair stylist to figure out what’s right for you.\\nDon’t be surprised by the price tag—a good haircut can cost upwards of $100 in a salon.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a self-tanner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a healthy glow all year round.\", \"描述\": \"While indoor tanning beds are dangerous (and can increase your risk for skin cancer), a spray tan isn’t risky at all. You can get one professionally done or use a self-tanning lotion at home for a bronzed, glowy look.\\nTry not to go too dark too fast. Too much self-tanner runs the risk of looking orange.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Whiten your teeth.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make those pearly whites shine again.\", \"描述\": \"If your teeth are looking a little dingy or yellow, head to the store and pick up a package of white strips. If you have any harsh stains or discoloration, make an appointment with your dentist for a professional whitening treatment. White teeth can make you look younger and more attractive right away!\\nWhitening your teeth can lead to increased tooth sensitivity, so use caution if you already have sensitive teeth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take care of your skin.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A good skincare routine can make you look glowy.\", \"描述\": \"Wash your face with a gentle cleanser and warm water, then dab on a moisturizer. If you have oily skin or you’re prone to breakouts, try using products with azelaic acid in them. If you’re noticing wrinkles or dark marks on your skin, try an anti-aging cream that contains retinoids.\\nAdd sunscreen on top of everything to protect your skin from UV rays. SPF 30 or higher will keep your skin looking young and fresh for much longer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take the time to dress well.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a style and go for clothes that fit.\", \"描述\": \"First, think of a style or a person you want to emulate: maybe you like the skater aesthetic, or perhaps you’re going for a more business casual vibe. Then, look online for inspiration as you pick out pieces. You don’t have to spend a ton on a new wardrobe—you might be surprised at what you find in your very own closet.\\nAs you pick out clothes, make sure they flatter your body type and fit you well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Exercise every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It will keep you fit, toned, and good looking.\", \"描述\": \"There’s no need to bulk up and gain a ton of muscle, but aim for getting 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day. You could try running, jogging, swimming, biking, hiking, or doing yoga to keep your body in shape. Focus on feeling good in your own body, not conforming to anyone else’s beauty standards.\\nNot only will exercising keep you looking good, it also releases endorphins to make you feel good, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Eat a balanced diet.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The right nutrition can clear your skin and make you look great.\", \"描述\": \"Try to eat plenty of lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains as you make your meals. In particular, vitamin C, vitamin E, healthy plant fats, and fish are all great for your skin, and they can help you look glowy and more attractive.\\nYou can find vitamin C in most citrus fruits, like oranges, limes, and lemons.\\nGet your vitamin E from nuts, seeds, fruits, and veggies.\\nHealthy plant fats come from avocados, canola oil, olive oil, peanuts, and flaxseeds.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Emphasize your features with makeup.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s not a necessity, but it can help you feel more confident.\", \"描述\": \"To cover up blemishes and make your skin look glowy, try a light BB cream or a tinted moisturizer. Add some mascara and a bit of lip gloss for an everyday look that can’t be beat. Or, go all out glam with full coverage foundation, fun eyeshadow, falsies, and bold lipstick. Just like your clothes, your makeup should enhance your natural features and be appropriate for the occasion.\\nIf you’ve never worn makeup before and you want to try it out, look up some online tutorials on YouTube.\\nYou don’t have to break your bank to buy expensive makeup products. Most drug stores have the basics, and you can start with those as you learn how to apply them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you love yourself, other people will gravitate towards you. Nothing is more attractive than a happy, healthy attitude.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,758 | How to Be Good With Young Children | 1. Communicating Effectively
1-1. Listen carefully.
If you are looking to bond with a child, start by paying attention when they speak. Kids are just finding their voices, and what they are saying is very important to them. Actively listen when a young child is speaking to you.
One way to demonstrate that you are listening is to make eye contact. You can also physically indicate that you are paying attention by bending down so that you and the child are on the same level.
Ask questions as the child is talking. This will let them know that you are interested and engaged in the conversation.
1-2. Use positive words.
Kids need reassurance. When you are having a conversation with a child, try to keep both your words and your tone of voice positive. Avoid sounding judgmental. Try to make them feel like they are a valuable contributor to your conversation.
Use more "do" words than "don't" words. For example, say "I like it when you hold my hand crossing the street" instead of, "Don't cross the street without holding my hand." The first sentence will sound more positive and reassuring to a child.
Use phrases that will give the child permission to elaborate. Try saying things such as, "Tell me more." Or, "That's interesting! Why is that?"
1-3. Speak to kids, not at them.
Much like adults, kids do not respond well if you speak in a condescending tone. Try to give a child the same consideration and respect that you would give a friend. Make kids an active part of the conversation, instead of talking at them.
For example, don't talk about children as though they are not there. Speak directly to them. Instead of saying to your friend, "Wow, Kevin seems upset!", try saying directly to the child, "Kevin, you seem upset. Can I help you with something?"
1-4. Consider their opinions.
A great way to make a child feel valued is to ask for their opinion. You can definitely guide their choices by providing them with limited options, but by offering choices, you are showing respect. You can also ask a child how they feel about certain activities, or ask them about their day.
Try offering choices, such as "Sam, would you like carrots or celery with your lunch?". You could also say, "Sue, would you rather play Go Fish or Crazy Eights?"
1-5. Be aware of your body language.
Children pick up on physical cues. Notice what your body language is saying. For example, many people lose patience when talking to children. If that happens to you, avoid letting it show in your body language. Avoid rolling your eyes or shaking your head.
Smile a lot. This will make the child feel more comfortable and safe.
2. Finding Fun Activities
2-1. Use your imagination.
Finding a fun activity is a great way to bond with a child. Let the child's imagination be your guide. Ask them what type of adventure they would like to have. Then imagine that you are off on an adventure to the moon. For example, you could build a "spaceship" out of a cardboard box and take an amazing journey.
Kids love to play pretend. Be willing to participate in the games they come up with. They might want to pretend they are at "work" or playing in a major league baseball game. Being imaginative with kids is fun for both of you.
2-2. Read books.
Having story time is a way for kids to both have fun and learn. Try reading out loud to small children. Enhance the story by including some funny voices or other sound effects.
If the child is learning (or knows how) to read, have them alternate pages with you as you read aloud. This will make reading more of a team activity.
2-3. Listen to music.
Music is an important part of a child's development, and it is also a lot of fun. Try singing songs with kids. Songs that have easy melodies and a repeating chorus are great choices.
If you have any musical instruments handy, let the child take a turn playing them. Kids love to try out the keys on the piano, and they especially love to bang on drums.
2-4. Play games.
Games are a great way for you and the child with to be active together. You can play games that have set rules (think easy board games or card games) or you and the child can invent a game together. Whichever game you choose, make sure to congratulate the child when he does well.
Games can also be great teaching tools. Try looking for ones that teach skills like counting for younger kids. If the child is older, there are many great "brain teaser" games that you can purchase.
2-5. Take a field trip.
Kids love to go new places. For them, almost anywhere new can be an adventure. If you have the opportunity, take them to a nearby children's museum. There will be lots of interactive exhibits that will be a lot of fun for both of you.
If you don't have access to museums or other attractions, you can make going to the neighborhood playground seem like a special trip. Be enthusiastic, and when you get to the park, be willing to play!
3. Understanding Children's Emotions
3-1. Notice their reactions.
When interacting with kids, it is important to be aware that they sometimes do not express their feelings with clear words. Instead, try to watch their reactions during conversations or activities. There are important indicators that will let you know how a kid feels about something.
Remember that different kids will have different reactions to stimuli. Some children will need (or want) more attention, others will require (or want) less.
Pay attention to facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice to gauge how a child is reacting to something.
3-2. Pay attention to their activity level.
Kids don't have the same schedule as adults. They are more prone to short bursts of intense activity with longer periods of rest. Being aware of whether they seem tired or bored is an important way to help a child feel comfortable around you.
If a child is more active, follow their lead and participate in their play. If a child is quieter, try to entice them with your own ideas.
3-3. Spend time together.
Quality time is one of the best ways that you can make a positive influence on a child. It is an important way get to know one another, and to enhance your relationship. Make it a point to spend time doing activities that the child will enjoy.
Ideas for quality time include listening to music, readings books, and playing games.
3-4. Build their self-esteem.
Kids are in the process of developing their personalities. Your positive reassurance is one of the best ways to increase their confidence and help them to grow. Offer them positive words and encouragement during a variety of activities.
If you are singing a song, tell them how much fun you are having. If you play a game and they win, tell them that they did a great job. Positive reinforcement is important, and really easy to offer.
Tips
Be patient. Kid's minds are not as fully developed as adults.
Ask for advice. If you have a friend or family member who is great with kids, ask them for some pointers.
Kids sometimes get frustrated when they don't get what they want. In situations like these, try to give them a lesson, then encouragement not to give up. (Ex: They keep losing at something, use that as an opportunity to show games arn't always about winning, and encourage them to not give up).
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating Effectively\\n1-1. Listen carefully.\\nIf you are looking to bond with a child, start by paying attention when they speak. Kids are just finding their voices, and what they are saying is very important to them. Actively listen when a young child is speaking to you.\\nOne way to demonstrate that you are listening is to make eye contact. You can also physically indicate that you are paying attention by bending down so that you and the child are on the same level.\\nAsk questions as the child is talking. This will let them know that you are interested and engaged in the conversation.\\n1-2. Use positive words.\\nKids need reassurance. When you are having a conversation with a child, try to keep both your words and your tone of voice positive. Avoid sounding judgmental. Try to make them feel like they are a valuable contributor to your conversation.\\nUse more \\\"do\\\" words than \\\"don't\\\" words. For example, say \\\"I like it when you hold my hand crossing the street\\\" instead of, \\\"Don't cross the street without holding my hand.\\\" The first sentence will sound more positive and reassuring to a child.\\nUse phrases that will give the child permission to elaborate. Try saying things such as, \\\"Tell me more.\\\" Or, \\\"That's interesting! Why is that?\\\"\\n1-3. Speak to kids, not at them.\\nMuch like adults, kids do not respond well if you speak in a condescending tone. Try to give a child the same consideration and respect that you would give a friend. Make kids an active part of the conversation, instead of talking at them.\\nFor example, don't talk about children as though they are not there. Speak directly to them. Instead of saying to your friend, \\\"Wow, Kevin seems upset!\\\", try saying directly to the child, \\\"Kevin, you seem upset. Can I help you with something?\\\"\\n1-4. Consider their opinions.\\nA great way to make a child feel valued is to ask for their opinion. You can definitely guide their choices by providing them with limited options, but by offering choices, you are showing respect. You can also ask a child how they feel about certain activities, or ask them about their day.\\nTry offering choices, such as \\\"Sam, would you like carrots or celery with your lunch?\\\". You could also say, \\\"Sue, would you rather play Go Fish or Crazy Eights?\\\"\\n1-5. Be aware of your body language.\\nChildren pick up on physical cues. Notice what your body language is saying. For example, many people lose patience when talking to children. If that happens to you, avoid letting it show in your body language. Avoid rolling your eyes or shaking your head. \\nSmile a lot. This will make the child feel more comfortable and safe.\\n2. Finding Fun Activities\\n2-1. Use your imagination.\\nFinding a fun activity is a great way to bond with a child. Let the child's imagination be your guide. Ask them what type of adventure they would like to have. Then imagine that you are off on an adventure to the moon. For example, you could build a \\\"spaceship\\\" out of a cardboard box and take an amazing journey.\\nKids love to play pretend. Be willing to participate in the games they come up with. They might want to pretend they are at \\\"work\\\" or playing in a major league baseball game. Being imaginative with kids is fun for both of you.\\n2-2. Read books.\\nHaving story time is a way for kids to both have fun and learn. Try reading out loud to small children. Enhance the story by including some funny voices or other sound effects.\\nIf the child is learning (or knows how) to read, have them alternate pages with you as you read aloud. This will make reading more of a team activity.\\n2-3. Listen to music.\\nMusic is an important part of a child's development, and it is also a lot of fun. Try singing songs with kids. Songs that have easy melodies and a repeating chorus are great choices.\\nIf you have any musical instruments handy, let the child take a turn playing them. Kids love to try out the keys on the piano, and they especially love to bang on drums.\\n2-4. Play games.\\nGames are a great way for you and the child with to be active together. You can play games that have set rules (think easy board games or card games) or you and the child can invent a game together. Whichever game you choose, make sure to congratulate the child when he does well.\\nGames can also be great teaching tools. Try looking for ones that teach skills like counting for younger kids. If the child is older, there are many great \\\"brain teaser\\\" games that you can purchase.\\n2-5. Take a field trip.\\nKids love to go new places. For them, almost anywhere new can be an adventure. If you have the opportunity, take them to a nearby children's museum. There will be lots of interactive exhibits that will be a lot of fun for both of you.\\nIf you don't have access to museums or other attractions, you can make going to the neighborhood playground seem like a special trip. Be enthusiastic, and when you get to the park, be willing to play!\\n3. Understanding Children's Emotions\\n3-1. Notice their reactions.\\nWhen interacting with kids, it is important to be aware that they sometimes do not express their feelings with clear words. Instead, try to watch their reactions during conversations or activities. There are important indicators that will let you know how a kid feels about something. \\nRemember that different kids will have different reactions to stimuli. Some children will need (or want) more attention, others will require (or want) less.\\nPay attention to facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice to gauge how a child is reacting to something.\\n3-2. Pay attention to their activity level.\\nKids don't have the same schedule as adults. They are more prone to short bursts of intense activity with longer periods of rest. Being aware of whether they seem tired or bored is an important way to help a child feel comfortable around you.\\nIf a child is more active, follow their lead and participate in their play. If a child is quieter, try to entice them with your own ideas.\\n3-3. Spend time together.\\nQuality time is one of the best ways that you can make a positive influence on a child. It is an important way get to know one another, and to enhance your relationship. Make it a point to spend time doing activities that the child will enjoy.\\nIdeas for quality time include listening to music, readings books, and playing games.\\n3-4. Build their self-esteem.\\nKids are in the process of developing their personalities. Your positive reassurance is one of the best ways to increase their confidence and help them to grow. Offer them positive words and encouragement during a variety of activities.\\nIf you are singing a song, tell them how much fun you are having. If you play a game and they win, tell them that they did a great job. Positive reinforcement is important, and really easy to offer.\\nTips\\nBe patient. Kid's minds are not as fully developed as adults.\\nAsk for advice. If you have a friend or family member who is great with kids, ask them for some pointers.\\nKids sometimes get frustrated when they don't get what they want. In situations like these, try to give them a lesson, then encouragement not to give up. (Ex: They keep losing at something, use that as an opportunity to show games arn't always about winning, and encourage them to not give up).\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you haven't spent a lot of time around children, and you are looking for some pointers on how to interact with them. Or maybe an important person in your life has a child that you would like to bond with. Whatever your reason, it is a great idea to learn to be good with young children. After all, they are people, too! When interacting with children, remember to treat them kindly. It also doesn't hurt to be ready to have fun!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen carefully.\", \"描述\": \"If you are looking to bond with a child, start by paying attention when they speak. Kids are just finding their voices, and what they are saying is very important to them. Actively listen when a young child is speaking to you.\\nOne way to demonstrate that you are listening is to make eye contact. You can also physically indicate that you are paying attention by bending down so that you and the child are on the same level.\\nAsk questions as the child is talking. This will let them know that you are interested and engaged in the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use positive words.\", \"描述\": \"Kids need reassurance. When you are having a conversation with a child, try to keep both your words and your tone of voice positive. Avoid sounding judgmental. Try to make them feel like they are a valuable contributor to your conversation.\\nUse more \\\"do\\\" words than \\\"don't\\\" words. For example, say \\\"I like it when you hold my hand crossing the street\\\" instead of, \\\"Don't cross the street without holding my hand.\\\" The first sentence will sound more positive and reassuring to a child.\\nUse phrases that will give the child permission to elaborate. Try saying things such as, \\\"Tell me more.\\\" Or, \\\"That's interesting! Why is that?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak to kids, not at them.\", \"描述\": \"Much like adults, kids do not respond well if you speak in a condescending tone. Try to give a child the same consideration and respect that you would give a friend. Make kids an active part of the conversation, instead of talking at them.\\nFor example, don't talk about children as though they are not there. Speak directly to them. Instead of saying to your friend, \\\"Wow, Kevin seems upset!\\\", try saying directly to the child, \\\"Kevin, you seem upset. Can I help you with something?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider their opinions.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to make a child feel valued is to ask for their opinion. You can definitely guide their choices by providing them with limited options, but by offering choices, you are showing respect. You can also ask a child how they feel about certain activities, or ask them about their day.\\nTry offering choices, such as \\\"Sam, would you like carrots or celery with your lunch?\\\". You could also say, \\\"Sue, would you rather play Go Fish or Crazy Eights?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Children pick up on physical cues. Notice what your body language is saying. For example, many people lose patience when talking to children. If that happens to you, avoid letting it show in your body language. Avoid rolling your eyes or shaking your head. \\nSmile a lot. This will make the child feel more comfortable and safe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Fun Activities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use your imagination.\", \"描述\": \"Finding a fun activity is a great way to bond with a child. Let the child's imagination be your guide. Ask them what type of adventure they would like to have. Then imagine that you are off on an adventure to the moon. For example, you could build a \\\"spaceship\\\" out of a cardboard box and take an amazing journey.\\nKids love to play pretend. Be willing to participate in the games they come up with. They might want to pretend they are at \\\"work\\\" or playing in a major league baseball game. Being imaginative with kids is fun for both of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read books.\", \"描述\": \"Having story time is a way for kids to both have fun and learn. Try reading out loud to small children. Enhance the story by including some funny voices or other sound effects.\\nIf the child is learning (or knows how) to read, have them alternate pages with you as you read aloud. This will make reading more of a team activity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to music.\", \"描述\": \"Music is an important part of a child's development, and it is also a lot of fun. Try singing songs with kids. Songs that have easy melodies and a repeating chorus are great choices.\\nIf you have any musical instruments handy, let the child take a turn playing them. Kids love to try out the keys on the piano, and they especially love to bang on drums.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play games.\", \"描述\": \"Games are a great way for you and the child with to be active together. You can play games that have set rules (think easy board games or card games) or you and the child can invent a game together. Whichever game you choose, make sure to congratulate the child when he does well.\\nGames can also be great teaching tools. Try looking for ones that teach skills like counting for younger kids. If the child is older, there are many great \\\"brain teaser\\\" games that you can purchase.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take a field trip.\", \"描述\": \"Kids love to go new places. For them, almost anywhere new can be an adventure. If you have the opportunity, take them to a nearby children's museum. There will be lots of interactive exhibits that will be a lot of fun for both of you.\\nIf you don't have access to museums or other attractions, you can make going to the neighborhood playground seem like a special trip. Be enthusiastic, and when you get to the park, be willing to play!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understanding Children's Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Notice their reactions.\", \"描述\": \"When interacting with kids, it is important to be aware that they sometimes do not express their feelings with clear words. Instead, try to watch their reactions during conversations or activities. There are important indicators that will let you know how a kid feels about something. \\nRemember that different kids will have different reactions to stimuli. Some children will need (or want) more attention, others will require (or want) less.\\nPay attention to facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice to gauge how a child is reacting to something.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to their activity level.\", \"描述\": \"Kids don't have the same schedule as adults. They are more prone to short bursts of intense activity with longer periods of rest. Being aware of whether they seem tired or bored is an important way to help a child feel comfortable around you.\\nIf a child is more active, follow their lead and participate in their play. If a child is quieter, try to entice them with your own ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time together.\", \"描述\": \"Quality time is one of the best ways that you can make a positive influence on a child. It is an important way get to know one another, and to enhance your relationship. Make it a point to spend time doing activities that the child will enjoy.\\nIdeas for quality time include listening to music, readings books, and playing games.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Build their self-esteem.\", \"描述\": \"Kids are in the process of developing their personalities. Your positive reassurance is one of the best ways to increase their confidence and help them to grow. Offer them positive words and encouragement during a variety of activities.\\nIf you are singing a song, tell them how much fun you are having. If you play a game and they win, tell them that they did a great job. Positive reinforcement is important, and really easy to offer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be patient. Kid's minds are not as fully developed as adults.\\n\", \"Ask for advice. If you have a friend or family member who is great with kids, ask them for some pointers.\\n\", \"Kids sometimes get frustrated when they don't get what they want. In situations like these, try to give them a lesson, then encouragement not to give up. (Ex: They keep losing at something, use that as an opportunity to show games arn't always about winning, and encourage them to not give up).\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,759 | How to Be Good at Agar.io | 1. The Basic Steps
1-1. Avoid others at first.
When you first join the game, you are going to be small. As such, avoid people and try to eat just the cells that are not players.
1-2. Hide.
If someone big is chasing you, hide in the green spiky circles. These are called viruses.
If you are bigger than the virus, you will split, so make sure to only do this when you are small.
If the player that is chasing you is smaller than the virus, or the same size, then this will not work.
1-3. Get about 300 points.
This is where it's recommended that you begin chasing other players. Be careful, though, as you cannot eat cells that are larger than your own cell.
2. Split Strategy
2-1. Split.
Many players split themselves to try and eat other players. This can be done by pushing the space bar.
Splitting can send your cell forward, allowing you to eat another cell as long as your split piece is bigger than their entire cell.
2-2. Make sure that your split piece is larger than the other player.
That is how to catch them.
3. There's no "I" in Team!
3-1. Press W.
This allows you to lose some mass and give it to another player, which makes that player bigger and you smaller.
3-2. Be mutually supportive.
If you have a loyal team you can feed each other, and protect each other from threats. Teaming is a great way to survive longer. However, Anti-Teaming is added to agar.io, so play in Party mode if you want to team.
4. Other strategies
4-1. Lure smaller players into boundaries and trap them so that you can eat them.
4-2. Press W and when smaller players go after your ejected mass, you can "unexpectedly" kill them.
4-3. If you find a Mother Cell in your game, you can let other people feed it.
Then just collect the food it produces without you having to eject mass.
4-4. Aim to lure bigger players into viruses.
However, they probably won't fall for it.
You can get about 120 mass and stay still directly over a virus thus hiding the virus, and wait for a bigger player to try to eat you. They will explode and you will get huge instantly.
Tips
Don't go after someone the same size as you.
Avoid being trapped in corners.
Do not eat viruses in FFA & Team Mode, you will not gain mass and will activate the Anti-Team penalty, making you shrink at an alarming rate.
Warnings
Don't always trust people with names as "W = team"; sometimes they do not press W back and just eat you instead.
Don't fall for people that say 'Ctrl+R=Speed" etc., these commands can mess you up (They can reload page, make another tab, etc.)
Do not ever team on FFA, or Experimental mode; you and your teammate will shrink when the Anti-Teaming penalty is activated. It is not worth it. There is Party for that: Team mode is a special server in which there are different teams signified by colors, and where you can only eat the other teams' cells. (In Team mode, your team may try to destroy your cross-teaming with a different color cell. They will not like it. Team with your own color.)
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. The Basic Steps\\n1-1. Avoid others at first.\\nWhen you first join the game, you are going to be small. As such, avoid people and try to eat just the cells that are not players.\\n1-2. Hide.\\nIf someone big is chasing you, hide in the green spiky circles. These are called viruses.\\nIf you are bigger than the virus, you will split, so make sure to only do this when you are small.\\nIf the player that is chasing you is smaller than the virus, or the same size, then this will not work.\\n1-3. Get about 300 points.\\nThis is where it's recommended that you begin chasing other players. Be careful, though, as you cannot eat cells that are larger than your own cell.\\n2. Split Strategy\\n2-1. Split.\\nMany players split themselves to try and eat other players. This can be done by pushing the space bar.\\nSplitting can send your cell forward, allowing you to eat another cell as long as your split piece is bigger than their entire cell.\\n2-2. Make sure that your split piece is larger than the other player.\\nThat is how to catch them.\\n3. There's no \\\"I\\\" in Team!\\n3-1. Press W.\\nThis allows you to lose some mass and give it to another player, which makes that player bigger and you smaller.\\n3-2. Be mutually supportive.\\nIf you have a loyal team you can feed each other, and protect each other from threats. Teaming is a great way to survive longer. However, Anti-Teaming is added to agar.io, so play in Party mode if you want to team.\\n4. Other strategies\\n4-1. Lure smaller players into boundaries and trap them so that you can eat them.\\n\\n4-2. Press W and when smaller players go after your ejected mass, you can \\\"unexpectedly\\\" kill them.\\n\\n4-3. If you find a Mother Cell in your game, you can let other people feed it.\\nThen just collect the food it produces without you having to eject mass.\\n4-4. Aim to lure bigger players into viruses.\\nHowever, they probably won't fall for it.\\nYou can get about 120 mass and stay still directly over a virus thus hiding the virus, and wait for a bigger player to try to eat you. They will explode and you will get huge instantly.\\nTips\\nDon't go after someone the same size as you.\\nAvoid being trapped in corners.\\nDo not eat viruses in FFA & Team Mode, you will not gain mass and will activate the Anti-Team penalty, making you shrink at an alarming rate.\\nWarnings\\nDon't always trust people with names as \\\"W = team\\\"; sometimes they do not press W back and just eat you instead.\\nDon't fall for people that say 'Ctrl+R=Speed\\\" etc., these commands can mess you up (They can reload page, make another tab, etc.)\\nDo not ever team on FFA, or Experimental mode; you and your teammate will shrink when the Anti-Teaming penalty is activated. It is not worth it. There is Party for that: Team mode is a special server in which there are different teams signified by colors, and where you can only eat the other teams' cells. (In Team mode, your team may try to destroy your cross-teaming with a different color cell. They will not like it. Team with your own color.)\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Agar.io is a game in which cells and viruses are targeted and you have to be careful to not get eaten. Here is a guide on how to be good at it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The Basic Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid others at first.\", \"描述\": \"When you first join the game, you are going to be small. As such, avoid people and try to eat just the cells that are not players.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hide.\", \"描述\": \"If someone big is chasing you, hide in the green spiky circles. These are called viruses.\\nIf you are bigger than the virus, you will split, so make sure to only do this when you are small.\\nIf the player that is chasing you is smaller than the virus, or the same size, then this will not work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get about 300 points.\", \"描述\": \"This is where it's recommended that you begin chasing other players. Be careful, though, as you cannot eat cells that are larger than your own cell.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Split Strategy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Split.\", \"描述\": \"Many players split themselves to try and eat other players. This can be done by pushing the space bar.\\nSplitting can send your cell forward, allowing you to eat another cell as long as your split piece is bigger than their entire cell.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure that your split piece is larger than the other player.\", \"描述\": \"That is how to catch them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"There's no \\\"I\\\" in Team!\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Press W.\", \"描述\": \"This allows you to lose some mass and give it to another player, which makes that player bigger and you smaller.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be mutually supportive.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a loyal team you can feed each other, and protect each other from threats. Teaming is a great way to survive longer. However, Anti-Teaming is added to agar.io, so play in Party mode if you want to team.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Other strategies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lure smaller players into boundaries and trap them so that you can eat them.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press W and when smaller players go after your ejected mass, you can \\\"unexpectedly\\\" kill them.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If you find a Mother Cell in your game, you can let other people feed it.\", \"描述\": \"Then just collect the food it produces without you having to eject mass.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Aim to lure bigger players into viruses.\", \"描述\": \"However, they probably won't fall for it.\\nYou can get about 120 mass and stay still directly over a virus thus hiding the virus, and wait for a bigger player to try to eat you. They will explode and you will get huge instantly.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't go after someone the same size as you.\\n\", \"Avoid being trapped in corners.\\n\", \"Do not eat viruses in FFA & Team Mode, you will not gain mass and will activate the Anti-Team penalty, making you shrink at an alarming rate.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't always trust people with names as \\\"W = team\\\"; sometimes they do not press W back and just eat you instead.\\n\", \"Don't fall for people that say 'Ctrl+R=Speed\\\" etc., these commands can mess you up (They can reload page, make another tab, etc.)\\n\", \"Do not ever team on FFA, or Experimental mode; you and your teammate will shrink when the Anti-Teaming penalty is activated. It is not worth it. There is Party for that: Team mode is a special server in which there are different teams signified by colors, and where you can only eat the other teams' cells. (In Team mode, your team may try to destroy your cross-teaming with a different color cell. They will not like it. Team with your own color.)\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,760 | How to Be Good at Art | 1. Perfecting Your Craft
1-1. Find your art form.
It is important to find a type of art that you enjoy. This can mean trying a few different varieties settling on the one you love best. Consider drawing, painting in oils, painting in watercolors, drawing with charcoal, sculpting, making installations, and wood carving. Be open to experimenting with different styles of art.
You might find that a trip to the art store will make your choice for you. Certain art media are more expensive than others. Consider starting off with something like drawing, which does not require expensive materials, and then moving on to other forms of art once you have the skills and resources to support them.
You might also find that as your skills evolve, you will move on to more complicated forms of art. After you develop the ability to replicate shapes in drawing, you might want to introduce colors and move on to painting.
1-2. Go to the art store.
It's hard to be a good artist without the right gear. Think about the basics first, to keep it affordable to allow you to experiment. Once you're happy with the art form you've chosen, start to expand your art kit and add more advanced items until you have a decent amount of tools at your disposal.
If you can't afford the items, look online for locals selling their art equipment.
1-3. Find a teacher.
Go to art shows or look online for local artists. Once you find one who you like, talk to her/him about lessons. Remember, you don’t need to rediscover all of the artistic techniques that have been developed over the past two thousand years. There are people who can teach you these methods.
Professional feedback can also be very helpful for your development. Learning from your mistakes is vital and usually requires someone else who can see your work objectively.
1-4. Go to school.
Usually art school is the best way to master your craft. But, if you’re having trouble getting into a good art school or don’t believe that a four year degree fits your schedule, there are other options. Most community colleges offer art class that you can take individually. These are usually cheap and can even help you develop the skills to get into a better school.
Fear not. Although art school can be a great way to improve your skills, there are few fields where your degree matters less than in art. Ultimately, you will be judged on the basis of what you produce.
1-5. Never stop reading.
There is always room to learn new techniques and styles. While the internet has some of these resources, you will find the most comprehensive treatment of these subjects in full length books. Start with the art books that you can find in your local library and then look online for the best reviewed books.
1-6. Practice.
If you don't practice, you won't get better. You should make practice a habit. Allot a specific amount of time per day to practicing—even better allot a specific period in the day to practice. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself and try new things when you practice.
Try things that you know that you can’t do. You can learn a lot more by grappling with things you don’t know than by repeating things you’re already good at.
Don’t worry about how good what you’re doing is. The only way to learn new things is to experiment.
Try a master study. A master study a type of practice wherein you take a great work of art and replicate it. It probably won’t be perfect. But you will be learning from the best.
1-7. Give yourself time to improve.
Give yourself plenty of time to improve and test the direction your art is taking. This means being patient and giving yourself time to stand back and obtain a bigger perspective of where you're headed. Most importantly, keep at it.
Personal style takes time to develop. Don't expect it to be innate. It is like the sculptor chiseling away at the rock; what you're capable of can take years to be revealed.
2. Finding Your Creativity
2-1. Be strange.
Vanderbilt psychologists have found that people who are a bit weird are more creative. Art that is unique generally sells better than art that simply shows a high level of skill. Having a distinctive style of living is often part of an artists’ trademark. In other words, bucking norms might help you become a more original artist, and, even if it doesn’t, it certainly makes for better marketing.
2-2. Get out of here.
Art is about recreating personal experience in an original way. In order to do that, you need to have experience doing something other than looking at a computer screen. Get out of the house and go see the world.
A walk through nature, like a walk through woods or along the beach, is thought to increase creativity. These sort of walks allow us time to be alone with our thoughts and introduce us to experiences that we don’t encounter in our everyday life.
Travelling to another country can introduce you to a new culture and unfamiliar experiences. A lot of studies have indicated that spending time abroad can improve creativity. Even thinking back to a time when you were out of the country can cause a temporary burst of creativity.
2-3. Be aware of your influences.
It is common for great works of art to pull on the work of other artists. It is also, however, easy to replicate other people’s work without realizing it. A particularly impressive image can be engraved in your memory so that you unconsciously recreate it while searching for something new. Expose yourself to a lot of influences and, when you create something, ask yourself how if it too closely resembles the work of someone else.
2-4. Be prepared to change your style over time.
Keep things fresh and be prepared to pursue new paths as you grow as an artist. Even if you have developed a signature style, you might find that it gets old with time. Experimentation does not necessarily mean giving up what you have done before, just developing a wider repertoire.
3. Building a Career
3-1. Consider the value of a career.
Art isn’t necessarily about money. But it is a lot easier to devote the time to developing your craft when you don’t have to work a full time job at the same time. Think of the money you earn from art as liberating you to pursue what you love. A career can cascade; as you earn the money to support yourself, you can spend more time developing skill and a reputation as an artist.
3-2. Advertise.
You should build a portfolio of your own work and then do everything you can so that other people find and purchase it. Today that is normally done online. Post your work on social media and build a website that features your best images.
If you want to be old fashioned, find a coffee shop that looks like it needs some extra decoration. Bring your portfolio and show the owner your work. Ask if she would be willing to put it on display and refer interested customers to you. She will get a better the ambience out of the deal and you will get to advertise your work.
3-3. Network.
Subscribe to local art papers and be aware of art shows, festivals, or seminars. When you attend events, be yourself and be sociable. Try to meet people who could connect you to clients or galleries where you can sell you work.
Perfect an elevator speech. The principle of the elevator speech is that you can give it to someone on a short elevator ride and by the end they be interested in exchanging information with you. In a few sentences you should be able to tell someone what makes your work interesting. If it doesn’t seem to work, keep on revising it until you find something that grabs people.
Bring a lot of business cards so that when you meet people who are interested in you work, you can easily share your contact information. Include a website that features your work on the business card. Keep track of all of the business cards you receive and set up appointments to meet with people after the event.
3-4. Join a community of artists.
Become known in your art community as a supportive person with a genuine interest in the progress of your fellow artists. When you make comments, be constructive, not destructive. Help people to learn through guidance and constructive feedback. Use this community to get feedback on your work and meet potential clients.
Don’t be jealous of other people. If you develop a reputation of helping out other artists, they, in turn, will help you.
Consider forming a collective to pool your resources. You can rent out a space to display your art or even share the expenses of a studio collectively. In the end, you won’t just be saving money, you’ll be introducing one another to new customers.
3-5. Hustle.
Ultimately, most artists don’t make ends meet by doing just one thing. They have multiple sources of revenue so that when one disappears, backup jobs are still on the table. Sell works online, put others in galleries, look for public art contracts, apply for grants, and teach. Not only is this a good way to make ends meet, you’ll also learn about what the most lucrative business models are.
Tips
As said earlier, you cannot improve overnight. Be patient, practice more and your art will improve overtime.
Being "good" is subjective and objective. You may be brilliant in the eyes of others but never personally feel you've quite reached your pinnacle. Or, you may think what you're producing is good but few people agree. Try to keep things in perspective to see whether you have unrealistic expectations or whether you really are ahead of your time and are yet to be recognized for your unique contribution.
Try different media and practice often. Don't give up!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Perfecting Your Craft\\n1-1. Find your art form.\\nIt is important to find a type of art that you enjoy. This can mean trying a few different varieties settling on the one you love best. Consider drawing, painting in oils, painting in watercolors, drawing with charcoal, sculpting, making installations, and wood carving. Be open to experimenting with different styles of art.\\nYou might find that a trip to the art store will make your choice for you. Certain art media are more expensive than others. Consider starting off with something like drawing, which does not require expensive materials, and then moving on to other forms of art once you have the skills and resources to support them.\\nYou might also find that as your skills evolve, you will move on to more complicated forms of art. After you develop the ability to replicate shapes in drawing, you might want to introduce colors and move on to painting.\\n1-2. Go to the art store.\\nIt's hard to be a good artist without the right gear. Think about the basics first, to keep it affordable to allow you to experiment. Once you're happy with the art form you've chosen, start to expand your art kit and add more advanced items until you have a decent amount of tools at your disposal.\\nIf you can't afford the items, look online for locals selling their art equipment.\\n1-3. Find a teacher.\\nGo to art shows or look online for local artists. Once you find one who you like, talk to her/him about lessons. Remember, you don’t need to rediscover all of the artistic techniques that have been developed over the past two thousand years. There are people who can teach you these methods.\\nProfessional feedback can also be very helpful for your development. Learning from your mistakes is vital and usually requires someone else who can see your work objectively.\\n1-4. Go to school.\\nUsually art school is the best way to master your craft. But, if you’re having trouble getting into a good art school or don’t believe that a four year degree fits your schedule, there are other options. Most community colleges offer art class that you can take individually. These are usually cheap and can even help you develop the skills to get into a better school.\\nFear not. Although art school can be a great way to improve your skills, there are few fields where your degree matters less than in art. Ultimately, you will be judged on the basis of what you produce.\\n1-5. Never stop reading.\\nThere is always room to learn new techniques and styles. While the internet has some of these resources, you will find the most comprehensive treatment of these subjects in full length books. Start with the art books that you can find in your local library and then look online for the best reviewed books.\\n1-6. Practice.\\nIf you don't practice, you won't get better. You should make practice a habit. Allot a specific amount of time per day to practicing—even better allot a specific period in the day to practice. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself and try new things when you practice.\\nTry things that you know that you can’t do. You can learn a lot more by grappling with things you don’t know than by repeating things you’re already good at.\\nDon’t worry about how good what you’re doing is. The only way to learn new things is to experiment.\\nTry a master study. A master study a type of practice wherein you take a great work of art and replicate it. It probably won’t be perfect. But you will be learning from the best.\\n1-7. Give yourself time to improve.\\nGive yourself plenty of time to improve and test the direction your art is taking. This means being patient and giving yourself time to stand back and obtain a bigger perspective of where you're headed. Most importantly, keep at it.\\nPersonal style takes time to develop. Don't expect it to be innate. It is like the sculptor chiseling away at the rock; what you're capable of can take years to be revealed.\\n2. Finding Your Creativity\\n2-1. Be strange.\\nVanderbilt psychologists have found that people who are a bit weird are more creative. Art that is unique generally sells better than art that simply shows a high level of skill. Having a distinctive style of living is often part of an artists’ trademark. In other words, bucking norms might help you become a more original artist, and, even if it doesn’t, it certainly makes for better marketing.\\n2-2. Get out of here.\\nArt is about recreating personal experience in an original way. In order to do that, you need to have experience doing something other than looking at a computer screen. Get out of the house and go see the world.\\nA walk through nature, like a walk through woods or along the beach, is thought to increase creativity. These sort of walks allow us time to be alone with our thoughts and introduce us to experiences that we don’t encounter in our everyday life.\\nTravelling to another country can introduce you to a new culture and unfamiliar experiences. A lot of studies have indicated that spending time abroad can improve creativity. Even thinking back to a time when you were out of the country can cause a temporary burst of creativity.\\n2-3. Be aware of your influences.\\nIt is common for great works of art to pull on the work of other artists. It is also, however, easy to replicate other people’s work without realizing it. A particularly impressive image can be engraved in your memory so that you unconsciously recreate it while searching for something new. Expose yourself to a lot of influences and, when you create something, ask yourself how if it too closely resembles the work of someone else.\\n2-4. Be prepared to change your style over time.\\nKeep things fresh and be prepared to pursue new paths as you grow as an artist. Even if you have developed a signature style, you might find that it gets old with time. Experimentation does not necessarily mean giving up what you have done before, just developing a wider repertoire.\\n3. Building a Career\\n3-1. Consider the value of a career.\\nArt isn’t necessarily about money. But it is a lot easier to devote the time to developing your craft when you don’t have to work a full time job at the same time. Think of the money you earn from art as liberating you to pursue what you love. A career can cascade; as you earn the money to support yourself, you can spend more time developing skill and a reputation as an artist.\\n3-2. Advertise.\\nYou should build a portfolio of your own work and then do everything you can so that other people find and purchase it. Today that is normally done online. Post your work on social media and build a website that features your best images.\\nIf you want to be old fashioned, find a coffee shop that looks like it needs some extra decoration. Bring your portfolio and show the owner your work. Ask if she would be willing to put it on display and refer interested customers to you. She will get a better the ambience out of the deal and you will get to advertise your work.\\n3-3. Network.\\nSubscribe to local art papers and be aware of art shows, festivals, or seminars. When you attend events, be yourself and be sociable. Try to meet people who could connect you to clients or galleries where you can sell you work.\\nPerfect an elevator speech. The principle of the elevator speech is that you can give it to someone on a short elevator ride and by the end they be interested in exchanging information with you. In a few sentences you should be able to tell someone what makes your work interesting. If it doesn’t seem to work, keep on revising it until you find something that grabs people.\\nBring a lot of business cards so that when you meet people who are interested in you work, you can easily share your contact information. Include a website that features your work on the business card. Keep track of all of the business cards you receive and set up appointments to meet with people after the event.\\n3-4. Join a community of artists.\\nBecome known in your art community as a supportive person with a genuine interest in the progress of your fellow artists. When you make comments, be constructive, not destructive. Help people to learn through guidance and constructive feedback. Use this community to get feedback on your work and meet potential clients.\\nDon’t be jealous of other people. If you develop a reputation of helping out other artists, they, in turn, will help you.\\nConsider forming a collective to pool your resources. You can rent out a space to display your art or even share the expenses of a studio collectively. In the end, you won’t just be saving money, you’ll be introducing one another to new customers.\\n3-5. Hustle.\\nUltimately, most artists don’t make ends meet by doing just one thing. They have multiple sources of revenue so that when one disappears, backup jobs are still on the table. Sell works online, put others in galleries, look for public art contracts, apply for grants, and teach. Not only is this a good way to make ends meet, you’ll also learn about what the most lucrative business models are.\\nTips\\nAs said earlier, you cannot improve overnight. Be patient, practice more and your art will improve overtime.\\nBeing \\\"good\\\" is subjective and objective. You may be brilliant in the eyes of others but never personally feel you've quite reached your pinnacle. Or, you may think what you're producing is good but few people agree. Try to keep things in perspective to see whether you have unrealistic expectations or whether you really are ahead of your time and are yet to be recognized for your unique contribution.\\nTry different media and practice often. Don't give up!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Art is part craft, part creativity, and part business. To become a better artist, you need to both connect yourself to experts who can teach you advanced techniques, develop an original style, and figure out how to make the money necessary to support your art, if you want to become a professional artist. Once you get started, hopefully your art will become progressively better as your talents earn you the resources that will allow you to improve yourself further.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Perfecting Your Craft\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find your art form.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to find a type of art that you enjoy. This can mean trying a few different varieties settling on the one you love best. Consider drawing, painting in oils, painting in watercolors, drawing with charcoal, sculpting, making installations, and wood carving. Be open to experimenting with different styles of art.\\nYou might find that a trip to the art store will make your choice for you. Certain art media are more expensive than others. Consider starting off with something like drawing, which does not require expensive materials, and then moving on to other forms of art once you have the skills and resources to support them.\\nYou might also find that as your skills evolve, you will move on to more complicated forms of art. After you develop the ability to replicate shapes in drawing, you might want to introduce colors and move on to painting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go to the art store.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to be a good artist without the right gear. Think about the basics first, to keep it affordable to allow you to experiment. Once you're happy with the art form you've chosen, start to expand your art kit and add more advanced items until you have a decent amount of tools at your disposal.\\nIf you can't afford the items, look online for locals selling their art equipment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a teacher.\", \"描述\": \"Go to art shows or look online for local artists. Once you find one who you like, talk to her/him about lessons. Remember, you don’t need to rediscover all of the artistic techniques that have been developed over the past two thousand years. There are people who can teach you these methods.\\nProfessional feedback can also be very helpful for your development. Learning from your mistakes is vital and usually requires someone else who can see your work objectively.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go to school.\", \"描述\": \"Usually art school is the best way to master your craft. But, if you’re having trouble getting into a good art school or don’t believe that a four year degree fits your schedule, there are other options. Most community colleges offer art class that you can take individually. These are usually cheap and can even help you develop the skills to get into a better school.\\nFear not. Although art school can be a great way to improve your skills, there are few fields where your degree matters less than in art. Ultimately, you will be judged on the basis of what you produce.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Never stop reading.\", \"描述\": \"There is always room to learn new techniques and styles. While the internet has some of these resources, you will find the most comprehensive treatment of these subjects in full length books. Start with the art books that you can find in your local library and then look online for the best reviewed books.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't practice, you won't get better. You should make practice a habit. Allot a specific amount of time per day to practicing—even better allot a specific period in the day to practice. Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself and try new things when you practice.\\nTry things that you know that you can’t do. You can learn a lot more by grappling with things you don’t know than by repeating things you’re already good at.\\nDon’t worry about how good what you’re doing is. The only way to learn new things is to experiment.\\nTry a master study. A master study a type of practice wherein you take a great work of art and replicate it. It probably won’t be perfect. But you will be learning from the best.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to improve.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself plenty of time to improve and test the direction your art is taking. This means being patient and giving yourself time to stand back and obtain a bigger perspective of where you're headed. Most importantly, keep at it.\\nPersonal style takes time to develop. Don't expect it to be innate. It is like the sculptor chiseling away at the rock; what you're capable of can take years to be revealed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Your Creativity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be strange.\", \"描述\": \"Vanderbilt psychologists have found that people who are a bit weird are more creative. Art that is unique generally sells better than art that simply shows a high level of skill. Having a distinctive style of living is often part of an artists’ trademark. In other words, bucking norms might help you become a more original artist, and, even if it doesn’t, it certainly makes for better marketing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get out of here.\", \"描述\": \"Art is about recreating personal experience in an original way. In order to do that, you need to have experience doing something other than looking at a computer screen. Get out of the house and go see the world.\\nA walk through nature, like a walk through woods or along the beach, is thought to increase creativity. These sort of walks allow us time to be alone with our thoughts and introduce us to experiences that we don’t encounter in our everyday life.\\nTravelling to another country can introduce you to a new culture and unfamiliar experiences. A lot of studies have indicated that spending time abroad can improve creativity. Even thinking back to a time when you were out of the country can cause a temporary burst of creativity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your influences.\", \"描述\": \"It is common for great works of art to pull on the work of other artists. It is also, however, easy to replicate other people’s work without realizing it. A particularly impressive image can be engraved in your memory so that you unconsciously recreate it while searching for something new. Expose yourself to a lot of influences and, when you create something, ask yourself how if it too closely resembles the work of someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to change your style over time.\", \"描述\": \"Keep things fresh and be prepared to pursue new paths as you grow as an artist. Even if you have developed a signature style, you might find that it gets old with time. Experimentation does not necessarily mean giving up what you have done before, just developing a wider repertoire.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building a Career\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider the value of a career.\", \"描述\": \"Art isn’t necessarily about money. But it is a lot easier to devote the time to developing your craft when you don’t have to work a full time job at the same time. Think of the money you earn from art as liberating you to pursue what you love. A career can cascade; as you earn the money to support yourself, you can spend more time developing skill and a reputation as an artist.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Advertise.\", \"描述\": \"You should build a portfolio of your own work and then do everything you can so that other people find and purchase it. Today that is normally done online. Post your work on social media and build a website that features your best images.\\nIf you want to be old fashioned, find a coffee shop that looks like it needs some extra decoration. Bring your portfolio and show the owner your work. Ask if she would be willing to put it on display and refer interested customers to you. She will get a better the ambience out of the deal and you will get to advertise your work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Network.\", \"描述\": \"Subscribe to local art papers and be aware of art shows, festivals, or seminars. When you attend events, be yourself and be sociable. Try to meet people who could connect you to clients or galleries where you can sell you work.\\nPerfect an elevator speech. The principle of the elevator speech is that you can give it to someone on a short elevator ride and by the end they be interested in exchanging information with you. In a few sentences you should be able to tell someone what makes your work interesting. If it doesn’t seem to work, keep on revising it until you find something that grabs people.\\nBring a lot of business cards so that when you meet people who are interested in you work, you can easily share your contact information. Include a website that features your work on the business card. Keep track of all of the business cards you receive and set up appointments to meet with people after the event.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join a community of artists.\", \"描述\": \"Become known in your art community as a supportive person with a genuine interest in the progress of your fellow artists. When you make comments, be constructive, not destructive. Help people to learn through guidance and constructive feedback. Use this community to get feedback on your work and meet potential clients.\\nDon’t be jealous of other people. If you develop a reputation of helping out other artists, they, in turn, will help you.\\nConsider forming a collective to pool your resources. You can rent out a space to display your art or even share the expenses of a studio collectively. In the end, you won’t just be saving money, you’ll be introducing one another to new customers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hustle.\", \"描述\": \"Ultimately, most artists don’t make ends meet by doing just one thing. They have multiple sources of revenue so that when one disappears, backup jobs are still on the table. Sell works online, put others in galleries, look for public art contracts, apply for grants, and teach. Not only is this a good way to make ends meet, you’ll also learn about what the most lucrative business models are.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"As said earlier, you cannot improve overnight. Be patient, practice more and your art will improve overtime.\\n\", \"Being \\\"good\\\" is subjective and objective. You may be brilliant in the eyes of others but never personally feel you've quite reached your pinnacle. Or, you may think what you're producing is good but few people agree. Try to keep things in perspective to see whether you have unrealistic expectations or whether you really are ahead of your time and are yet to be recognized for your unique contribution.\\n\", \"Try different media and practice often. Don't give up!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,761 | How to Be Good at Basketball Immediately | 1. Steps
1-1. Know some basics:
This is all you need to know: Your team wants to put the ball through the hoop. Your team also wants to stop the other team from getting down the court. Don't touch another player unless they touch you. If you want to move with the ball, dribble and don't stop unless you want to pass or shoot. Don't be afraid; be aggressive.
1-2. Don't stop moving:
If you keep moving, you'll have a better chance of getting the ball. Even if you can't do anything else, get the ball so your team can have it.
1-3. Do what you can:
Though scoring is more praised than other statistics, you can really help contribute to a win by getting rebounds. Whenever someone (whether on your team or not) shoots the ball, you can jump and get the ball so your team will be able to be on offense and score.
1-4. Pass:
Chances are, you aren't much of a shooter if you just started out. Passing to your teammates is one of the most important mechanics of basketball today. Bounce pass to a teammate who isn't near anyone so they can shoot unguarded.
1-5. Start small.
If you can start off shooting close to the rim, that's wonderful. Especially if you're smart, you can calculate the physics involved in using the backboard and force to properly allow a basketball to go through the hoop.
1-6. Have a Poker face.
Sometimes, you can fool your opponents into thinking one thing with a well-timed fake. This will give your teammates time to get in position.
1-7. Use your reputation to your advantage.
What reputation? You've just started playing basketball, so they'll know you're not great. At the beginning of the game, you want to act like you don't know what you're doing so they don't guard you. This way, you'll be wide open when you get the ball to shoot.
Tips
If you're playing with your friends and miss a few shots, don't be discouraged. It happens to everybody and there is nothing you can do to change it. Just practice a little more often and get back out there!
Watch games, and see how some players play.
Make sure your ball is pumped enough.
Warnings
When guarding a player of the Opposing team, make sure you don't touch them or you could get called for a foul.
If you have the ball and you dribble, stop dribbling, then dribble again, that's a violation.
Don't walk outside the lines that are highlighted, or it could be out of bounds.
Never... walk with the ball without dribbling. That's called a travel.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Know some basics:\\nThis is all you need to know: Your team wants to put the ball through the hoop. Your team also wants to stop the other team from getting down the court. Don't touch another player unless they touch you. If you want to move with the ball, dribble and don't stop unless you want to pass or shoot. Don't be afraid; be aggressive.\\n1-2. Don't stop moving:\\nIf you keep moving, you'll have a better chance of getting the ball. Even if you can't do anything else, get the ball so your team can have it.\\n1-3. Do what you can:\\nThough scoring is more praised than other statistics, you can really help contribute to a win by getting rebounds. Whenever someone (whether on your team or not) shoots the ball, you can jump and get the ball so your team will be able to be on offense and score.\\n1-4. Pass:\\nChances are, you aren't much of a shooter if you just started out. Passing to your teammates is one of the most important mechanics of basketball today. Bounce pass to a teammate who isn't near anyone so they can shoot unguarded.\\n1-5. Start small.\\nIf you can start off shooting close to the rim, that's wonderful. Especially if you're smart, you can calculate the physics involved in using the backboard and force to properly allow a basketball to go through the hoop.\\n1-6. Have a Poker face.\\nSometimes, you can fool your opponents into thinking one thing with a well-timed fake. This will give your teammates time to get in position.\\n1-7. Use your reputation to your advantage.\\nWhat reputation? You've just started playing basketball, so they'll know you're not great. At the beginning of the game, you want to act like you don't know what you're doing so they don't guard you. This way, you'll be wide open when you get the ball to shoot.\\nTips\\nIf you're playing with your friends and miss a few shots, don't be discouraged. It happens to everybody and there is nothing you can do to change it. Just practice a little more often and get back out there!\\nWatch games, and see how some players play.\\nMake sure your ball is pumped enough.\\nWarnings\\nWhen guarding a player of the Opposing team, make sure you don't touch them or you could get called for a foul.\\nIf you have the ball and you dribble, stop dribbling, then dribble again, that's a violation.\\nDon't walk outside the lines that are highlighted, or it could be out of bounds.\\nNever... walk with the ball without dribbling. That's called a travel.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We've all had that moment where we were the lone player to be picked at recess, gym, or just hanging out and haven't the slightest clue about basketball or its rules. However, there have been a fair share of players that started out not knowing what they were doing, and still contributed to wins.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know some basics:\", \"描述\": \"This is all you need to know: Your team wants to put the ball through the hoop. Your team also wants to stop the other team from getting down the court. Don't touch another player unless they touch you. If you want to move with the ball, dribble and don't stop unless you want to pass or shoot. Don't be afraid; be aggressive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't stop moving:\", \"描述\": \"If you keep moving, you'll have a better chance of getting the ball. Even if you can't do anything else, get the ball so your team can have it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do what you can:\", \"描述\": \"Though scoring is more praised than other statistics, you can really help contribute to a win by getting rebounds. Whenever someone (whether on your team or not) shoots the ball, you can jump and get the ball so your team will be able to be on offense and score.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pass:\", \"描述\": \"Chances are, you aren't much of a shooter if you just started out. Passing to your teammates is one of the most important mechanics of basketball today. Bounce pass to a teammate who isn't near anyone so they can shoot unguarded.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Start small.\", \"描述\": \"If you can start off shooting close to the rim, that's wonderful. Especially if you're smart, you can calculate the physics involved in using the backboard and force to properly allow a basketball to go through the hoop.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a Poker face.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, you can fool your opponents into thinking one thing with a well-timed fake. This will give your teammates time to get in position.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your reputation to your advantage.\", \"描述\": \"What reputation? You've just started playing basketball, so they'll know you're not great. At the beginning of the game, you want to act like you don't know what you're doing so they don't guard you. This way, you'll be wide open when you get the ball to shoot.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you're playing with your friends and miss a few shots, don't be discouraged. It happens to everybody and there is nothing you can do to change it. Just practice a little more often and get back out there!\\n\", \"Watch games, and see how some players play.\\n\", \"Make sure your ball is pumped enough.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"When guarding a player of the Opposing team, make sure you don't touch them or you could get called for a foul.\\n\", \"If you have the ball and you dribble, stop dribbling, then dribble again, that's a violation.\\n\", \"Don't walk outside the lines that are highlighted, or it could be out of bounds.\\n\", \"Never... walk with the ball without dribbling. That's called a travel.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,762 | How to Be Good at Capoeira | 1. Practice the "ginga" to dodge or swing.
Step to the side or pretend to strike with the "ginga."
For a beginner's ginga, step back and cover your face with your opposite arm. Then, adjust your position so both your legs are parallel. Step back with your alternate leg and cover your face again.
To perform a fluid ginga, concentrate on your coordination and footwork.
With each step of the ginga, remain light on your feet as you shift your weight from side to side or forward and back.
Swing your arms to not only dodge or feign an attack but also maintain your balance the entire time you perform a ginga.
2. Work on your "esquiva lateral" to dodge attacks.
Lean to the side with an "esquiva lateral" to avoid a strike.
Stand so your feet are slightly more than hip width apart and squat. To block yourself, bring your chest to your left knee if you're attacked from the right or to your right knee if someone strikes you from the left. To remain stable and prevent yourself from falling, reach back and place your palm on the floor to support your weight.
To return to a balanced and centered position, use your hand to push off the ground while generating power through your legs—this will help you stand upright again.
3. Perform a "negativa normal" to avoid strikes or kicks.
Crouch with a "negativa normal" to protect your upper body.
To avoid an attack directed at your face or your chest, quickly crouch down so one of your legs is bent and the other is stretched out in front of or behind you. Stabilize yourself by keeping one hand flat on the ground as you block a strike with your opposite arm.
To transition from a ginga into a negativa normal, move your back leg in front of you while bending the opposite leg and then ease yourself into a crouching position.
4. Focus on your “au” to avoid kicks from your attacker.
Perform this special cartwheel to evade an opponent’s kicks.
Start by pointing one foot forward and turning your other foot so it's at a 45 degree angle. Lean toward the foot at the 45 degree angle and roll into a cartwheel while you keep your arms and legs fully extended.
After you practice and perfect the au, you’ll build more strength and be more ready to perform a “bananeira,” a type of handstand—use it to lean forward and enter a fight or to lean backward and exit one.
5. Learn the “chapa” to deliver a powerful kick.
Throw this capoeira kick to push your attacker away.
To begin this move, bring your knee up to your chest. Then, pivot to face your opponent. Rotate your raised leg and drive through your heel to perform your side kick. Generate as much power as possible so you can push your opponent away with your chapa.
Since your attacker might think you’re just blocking an attack, you can use the element of surprise to your advantage and catch them off guard when you kick them with a “chapa.”
6. Try out a “queixada” to strike your opponent’s face.
Aim for your attacker’s jawbone with this forceful kick.
Start by crouching with a slight bend in the knees. Lift one leg and extend it outward and up to target your opponent's face. This move is intended for experienced capoeiristas—capoeira fighters—who plan to deal a lot of damage.
When you kick with the “queixada,” skip on your back foot to maintain your balance while you drive your front leg up.
7. Stretch your muscles regularly.
Improve your flexibility
Stretch often, including before and after capoeira training sessions. Focus on stretching your shoulders, back, and neck first. Then, stretch out your knees and legs so you can perfect basic kicks.
Spend about 10 minutes warming up before and after your capoeira training sessions.
8. Add strength training to your capoeira routine.
Build strength and improve your martial arts by lifting weights.
Try bicep curls with a dumbbell to enhance your upper body strength. Try to do a set of 14-22 curls with the heaviest dumbbell you can fully lift. By the end of your workout, you should feel a slight burn in your arms.
As you grow stronger, increase the weight of your dumbbell in 5 lb (2.27 kg) increments.
Try weightlifting with a bench press so you can lift heavier loads and target more muscles at one time.
Work out on a pull-up bar. Aim to do at least 5 pull-ups when you start out. As you grow stronger, try to add 1 pull-up to your routine each week.
9. Train with a friend.
Work with a partner to improve your reflexes.
Arrange a training session where your partner will launch friendly attacks with foam sticks. Try to deflect or dodge their blows. Then, ask your partner to do “pad work” with you by placing large, flat pads over their hands and swinging at you. As they swing at you, strike at the pads. To strike the pad properly, act fast and adapt quickly to your partner’s random movements.
You can also build your reflexes on your own. For example, you can punch a double end-punching bag. Since it will swing back and forth when you hit it, you’ll be able to practice your dodges and your strikes.
10. Find a capoeira academy to take lessons.
Remember, capoeira is meant to be shared and practiced with others.
Search online for local capoeira academies. If none exist near you, look for university clubs or associations which host friendly tournaments, group training opportunities, or games.
Watch the more experienced players. Pay close attention to not only your mestre’s moves and instruction, but also the moves of senior capoeiristas for ideas about how to link your movements in a fluid way.
11. Join some capoeira matches.
Once you’ve trained enough and feel ready, participate in the “roda.”
The “roda” is where capoeira matches take place. Face off against others who are at a similar skill level as you are. To fully "interact" in the roda and excite the audience, use the element of surprise against your opponent and perform fluid movements that are in rhythm with any live music played.
Don’t look at the ground when you fight. Instead, keep your eyes up and on your opponent.
Watch your opponent's moves and adapt appropriately. For instance, if your opponent comes at you with a leg sweep, jump back. Move in with your “ginga,” or dance step, for a quick strike.
Don’t freeze up in the roda. React with moves you know well, whether its a simple ginga, a negativa—a crouch—or a kick.
If you can, record your matches. You can pause and slow-mo these videos to see what you need to improve on.
Warnings
To avoid injuring yourself, steer clear of acrobatics or moves that are beyond your skill level. Just stay patient and focus on techniques that feel realistic and achievable.[13]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practice the \\\"ginga\\\" to dodge or swing.\\nStep to the side or pretend to strike with the \\\"ginga.\\\"\\nFor a beginner's ginga, step back and cover your face with your opposite arm. Then, adjust your position so both your legs are parallel. Step back with your alternate leg and cover your face again.\\nTo perform a fluid ginga, concentrate on your coordination and footwork.\\nWith each step of the ginga, remain light on your feet as you shift your weight from side to side or forward and back.\\nSwing your arms to not only dodge or feign an attack but also maintain your balance the entire time you perform a ginga.\\n2. Work on your \\\"esquiva lateral\\\" to dodge attacks.\\nLean to the side with an \\\"esquiva lateral\\\" to avoid a strike.\\nStand so your feet are slightly more than hip width apart and squat. To block yourself, bring your chest to your left knee if you're attacked from the right or to your right knee if someone strikes you from the left. To remain stable and prevent yourself from falling, reach back and place your palm on the floor to support your weight.\\nTo return to a balanced and centered position, use your hand to push off the ground while generating power through your legs—this will help you stand upright again.\\n3. Perform a \\\"negativa normal\\\" to avoid strikes or kicks.\\nCrouch with a \\\"negativa normal\\\" to protect your upper body.\\nTo avoid an attack directed at your face or your chest, quickly crouch down so one of your legs is bent and the other is stretched out in front of or behind you. Stabilize yourself by keeping one hand flat on the ground as you block a strike with your opposite arm.\\nTo transition from a ginga into a negativa normal, move your back leg in front of you while bending the opposite leg and then ease yourself into a crouching position.\\n4. Focus on your “au” to avoid kicks from your attacker.\\nPerform this special cartwheel to evade an opponent’s kicks.\\nStart by pointing one foot forward and turning your other foot so it's at a 45 degree angle. Lean toward the foot at the 45 degree angle and roll into a cartwheel while you keep your arms and legs fully extended.\\nAfter you practice and perfect the au, you’ll build more strength and be more ready to perform a “bananeira,” a type of handstand—use it to lean forward and enter a fight or to lean backward and exit one.\\n5. Learn the “chapa” to deliver a powerful kick.\\nThrow this capoeira kick to push your attacker away.\\nTo begin this move, bring your knee up to your chest. Then, pivot to face your opponent. Rotate your raised leg and drive through your heel to perform your side kick. Generate as much power as possible so you can push your opponent away with your chapa.\\nSince your attacker might think you’re just blocking an attack, you can use the element of surprise to your advantage and catch them off guard when you kick them with a “chapa.”\\n6. Try out a “queixada” to strike your opponent’s face.\\nAim for your attacker’s jawbone with this forceful kick.\\nStart by crouching with a slight bend in the knees. Lift one leg and extend it outward and up to target your opponent's face. This move is intended for experienced capoeiristas—capoeira fighters—who plan to deal a lot of damage.\\nWhen you kick with the “queixada,” skip on your back foot to maintain your balance while you drive your front leg up.\\n7. Stretch your muscles regularly.\\nImprove your flexibility\\nStretch often, including before and after capoeira training sessions. Focus on stretching your shoulders, back, and neck first. Then, stretch out your knees and legs so you can perfect basic kicks.\\nSpend about 10 minutes warming up before and after your capoeira training sessions.\\n8. Add strength training to your capoeira routine.\\nBuild strength and improve your martial arts by lifting weights.\\nTry bicep curls with a dumbbell to enhance your upper body strength. Try to do a set of 14-22 curls with the heaviest dumbbell you can fully lift. By the end of your workout, you should feel a slight burn in your arms.\\nAs you grow stronger, increase the weight of your dumbbell in 5 lb (2.27 kg) increments.\\nTry weightlifting with a bench press so you can lift heavier loads and target more muscles at one time.\\nWork out on a pull-up bar. Aim to do at least 5 pull-ups when you start out. As you grow stronger, try to add 1 pull-up to your routine each week.\\n9. Train with a friend.\\nWork with a partner to improve your reflexes.\\nArrange a training session where your partner will launch friendly attacks with foam sticks. Try to deflect or dodge their blows. Then, ask your partner to do “pad work” with you by placing large, flat pads over their hands and swinging at you. As they swing at you, strike at the pads. To strike the pad properly, act fast and adapt quickly to your partner’s random movements.\\nYou can also build your reflexes on your own. For example, you can punch a double end-punching bag. Since it will swing back and forth when you hit it, you’ll be able to practice your dodges and your strikes.\\n10. Find a capoeira academy to take lessons.\\nRemember, capoeira is meant to be shared and practiced with others.\\nSearch online for local capoeira academies. If none exist near you, look for university clubs or associations which host friendly tournaments, group training opportunities, or games.\\nWatch the more experienced players. Pay close attention to not only your mestre’s moves and instruction, but also the moves of senior capoeiristas for ideas about how to link your movements in a fluid way.\\n11. Join some capoeira matches.\\nOnce you’ve trained enough and feel ready, participate in the “roda.”\\nThe “roda” is where capoeira matches take place. Face off against others who are at a similar skill level as you are. To fully \\\"interact\\\" in the roda and excite the audience, use the element of surprise against your opponent and perform fluid movements that are in rhythm with any live music played.\\nDon’t look at the ground when you fight. Instead, keep your eyes up and on your opponent.\\nWatch your opponent's moves and adapt appropriately. For instance, if your opponent comes at you with a leg sweep, jump back. Move in with your “ginga,” or dance step, for a quick strike.\\nDon’t freeze up in the roda. React with moves you know well, whether its a simple ginga, a negativa—a crouch—or a kick.\\nIf you can, record your matches. You can pause and slow-mo these videos to see what you need to improve on.\\nWarnings\\nTo avoid injuring yourself, steer clear of acrobatics or moves that are beyond your skill level. Just stay patient and focus on techniques that feel realistic and achievable.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Part game, part martial art, and part dance, capoeira is a beautiful practice with Brazilian roots that can improve flexibility, strength, reflexes, and health. We’ll guide you through the process of becoming skilled at capoeira through proper training and the mastery of both basic and intermediate techniques. With practice, persistence, and patience, you’ll be good at capoeira sooner than you think.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice the \\\"ginga\\\" to dodge or swing.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Step to the side or pretend to strike with the \\\"ginga.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"For a beginner's ginga, step back and cover your face with your opposite arm. Then, adjust your position so both your legs are parallel. Step back with your alternate leg and cover your face again.\\nTo perform a fluid ginga, concentrate on your coordination and footwork.\\nWith each step of the ginga, remain light on your feet as you shift your weight from side to side or forward and back.\\nSwing your arms to not only dodge or feign an attack but also maintain your balance the entire time you perform a ginga.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work on your \\\"esquiva lateral\\\" to dodge attacks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lean to the side with an \\\"esquiva lateral\\\" to avoid a strike.\", \"描述\": \"Stand so your feet are slightly more than hip width apart and squat. To block yourself, bring your chest to your left knee if you're attacked from the right or to your right knee if someone strikes you from the left. To remain stable and prevent yourself from falling, reach back and place your palm on the floor to support your weight.\\nTo return to a balanced and centered position, use your hand to push off the ground while generating power through your legs—this will help you stand upright again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perform a \\\"negativa normal\\\" to avoid strikes or kicks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Crouch with a \\\"negativa normal\\\" to protect your upper body.\", \"描述\": \"To avoid an attack directed at your face or your chest, quickly crouch down so one of your legs is bent and the other is stretched out in front of or behind you. Stabilize yourself by keeping one hand flat on the ground as you block a strike with your opposite arm.\\nTo transition from a ginga into a negativa normal, move your back leg in front of you while bending the opposite leg and then ease yourself into a crouching position.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on your “au” to avoid kicks from your attacker.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Perform this special cartwheel to evade an opponent’s kicks.\", \"描述\": \"Start by pointing one foot forward and turning your other foot so it's at a 45 degree angle. Lean toward the foot at the 45 degree angle and roll into a cartwheel while you keep your arms and legs fully extended.\\nAfter you practice and perfect the au, you’ll build more strength and be more ready to perform a “bananeira,” a type of handstand—use it to lean forward and enter a fight or to lean backward and exit one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn the “chapa” to deliver a powerful kick.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Throw this capoeira kick to push your attacker away.\", \"描述\": \"To begin this move, bring your knee up to your chest. Then, pivot to face your opponent. Rotate your raised leg and drive through your heel to perform your side kick. Generate as much power as possible so you can push your opponent away with your chapa.\\nSince your attacker might think you’re just blocking an attack, you can use the element of surprise to your advantage and catch them off guard when you kick them with a “chapa.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try out a “queixada” to strike your opponent’s face.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Aim for your attacker’s jawbone with this forceful kick.\", \"描述\": \"Start by crouching with a slight bend in the knees. Lift one leg and extend it outward and up to target your opponent's face. This move is intended for experienced capoeiristas—capoeira fighters—who plan to deal a lot of damage.\\nWhen you kick with the “queixada,” skip on your back foot to maintain your balance while you drive your front leg up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stretch your muscles regularly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improve your flexibility\", \"描述\": \"Stretch often, including before and after capoeira training sessions. Focus on stretching your shoulders, back, and neck first. Then, stretch out your knees and legs so you can perfect basic kicks.\\nSpend about 10 minutes warming up before and after your capoeira training sessions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Add strength training to your capoeira routine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build strength and improve your martial arts by lifting weights.\", \"描述\": \"Try bicep curls with a dumbbell to enhance your upper body strength. Try to do a set of 14-22 curls with the heaviest dumbbell you can fully lift. By the end of your workout, you should feel a slight burn in your arms.\\nAs you grow stronger, increase the weight of your dumbbell in 5 lb (2.27 kg) increments.\\nTry weightlifting with a bench press so you can lift heavier loads and target more muscles at one time.\\nWork out on a pull-up bar. Aim to do at least 5 pull-ups when you start out. As you grow stronger, try to add 1 pull-up to your routine each week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Train with a friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work with a partner to improve your reflexes.\", \"描述\": \"Arrange a training session where your partner will launch friendly attacks with foam sticks. Try to deflect or dodge their blows. Then, ask your partner to do “pad work” with you by placing large, flat pads over their hands and swinging at you. As they swing at you, strike at the pads. To strike the pad properly, act fast and adapt quickly to your partner’s random movements.\\nYou can also build your reflexes on your own. For example, you can punch a double end-punching bag. Since it will swing back and forth when you hit it, you’ll be able to practice your dodges and your strikes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Find a capoeira academy to take lessons.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember, capoeira is meant to be shared and practiced with others.\", \"描述\": \"Search online for local capoeira academies. If none exist near you, look for university clubs or associations which host friendly tournaments, group training opportunities, or games.\\nWatch the more experienced players. Pay close attention to not only your mestre’s moves and instruction, but also the moves of senior capoeiristas for ideas about how to link your movements in a fluid way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Join some capoeira matches.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Once you’ve trained enough and feel ready, participate in the “roda.”\", \"描述\": \"The “roda” is where capoeira matches take place. Face off against others who are at a similar skill level as you are. To fully \\\"interact\\\" in the roda and excite the audience, use the element of surprise against your opponent and perform fluid movements that are in rhythm with any live music played.\\nDon’t look at the ground when you fight. Instead, keep your eyes up and on your opponent.\\nWatch your opponent's moves and adapt appropriately. For instance, if your opponent comes at you with a leg sweep, jump back. Move in with your “ginga,” or dance step, for a quick strike.\\nDon’t freeze up in the roda. React with moves you know well, whether its a simple ginga, a negativa—a crouch—or a kick.\\nIf you can, record your matches. You can pause and slow-mo these videos to see what you need to improve on.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"To avoid injuring yourself, steer clear of acrobatics or moves that are beyond your skill level. Just stay patient and focus on techniques that feel realistic and achievable.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,763 | How to Be Good at Conversations With Your Crush | 1. Starting the Conversation
1-1. Pick a good time.
Since they’re your crush, you probably have a general idea of their schedule. Think about when you’ll see them in class, in the hall, or during free periods. Figure out a time when you know you’ll be around them and will have time to strike up a conversation.
Use common sense and change your plans if you need to. If you planned to talk to them at recess but see them cramming for a test or having a heated discussion with a friend, postpone your chat. You don’t want to force them into a conversation when they’re busy.
1-2. Greet them casually.
A nice, "Hey! What's up?" works as a conversation starter in almost any situation. It’s an informal way to start the conversation, rather than launching into a pre-planned spiel. Additionally, your crush might let you know if it is a good time to talk or not. If they say, “I’m just in a hurry to meet someone at the library!” then you know it might not be a great time.
It may sound silly, but using your crush's name can induce some warm fuzzy feelings right off the bat. Saying, "Hey, Brad!" sounds much more personal than "Hey!"
If you can't make "What's up?" flow off the tongue naturally, open with anything that feels natural to you. You can say something like, "Are you excited for class today?", "Did you watch the new episode last night?", or anything else that can smoothly start a conversation.
1-3. Compliment them on something.
It doesn’t have to be anything major, but it’s an easy way to get in their good graces right from the start and hopefully launch into a full-fledged conversation. You can tell them that you like their new haircut, a piece of clothing, or any other appearance-related thing. Noticing something and complimenting it shows your crush that you pay attention, and provides them with the opportunity to tell you about it.
If applicable, you could also mention a recent accomplishment or noteworthy achievement of your crush. You can say anything from, "Congrats on winning that football game last Saturday! I heard you played great," to, “I liked what you said in class today and I totally agreed.”
1-4. Note their body language.
If they engage in conversation with you but continuously look at their phones, glance over their shoulder, or angle their body towards the closest exit, wrap it up. They might be saying friendly things but their focus is not in the conversation, for whatever reason. If they are facing you, listening to what you’re saying, and making eye contact, proceed.
2. Making a Connection
2-1. Find common ground.
This could be anything, from the crazy history teacher you both have Monday morning to how your little brothers are best friends. Finding common ground is a great way to not only find something to talk about, but to forge a real connection.
If you can't think of common ground, create some! If you don’t have any of the same classes or social circles, find something to connect over. If you know he absolutely loves a certain genre of music, tell him you started listening to it and want some recommendations. If you know he is passionate about a cause, ask him how you can learn more and get involved. It doesn’t matter if you are total opposites– find something that you can bring up to relate to him and bond over something.
Not only will you show your crush that you’ve taken note of what he is interested in, you can also truly learn something new about both him and about whatever subject matter you discuss.
2-2. Find a reason to continue the conversation.
If you’re shy and this is your first time speaking to your crush, conquering your fear and talking to them is a victory in itself. If you want to take it a step further, try to find a “to be continued…” moment. For example, if you discuss a television show you both enjoy, say something along the lines of, “Well, we will have to discuss again after next week’s episode!” This ensures that you will talk to them again.
If you’re bold, you can ask for their phone number, social media info, or email address. Then, you can continue chatting outside of school.
2-3. Offer an invitation.
This is the next step if you're feeling particularly bold. Even if it’s something simple like studying for the exam you both have, it will guarantee that you’ll get more face time with your crush. This doesn’t have to be a date - it can still just be two people getting to know each other better. The romantic part may come later.
No matter how eager you are to talk to them more and spend time with them, it is best to let things evolve naturally. Don’t hit them up for their phone number three minutes after meeting them.
3. Appearing Confident
3-1. Set yourself up to feel good.
Sometimes, it helps to get your confidence up before approaching your crush at all. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good– wear a new t-shirt, spend a little extra time doing your hair, or pump yourself up with your favorite song. Embrace those days when you just feel great about yourself, and strike up a conversation then. If you feel good, you’ll exude that confidence.
Wearing a lucky shirt, standing up straight, and visualizing a great conversation in your head are all additional ways to give yourself that boost of confidence you need.
If doesn’t matter what you do to feel good, just do it!
3-2. Remember they’re just like you.
No matter how cute, smart, funny, or cool your crush seems, they are a person just like you. They feel awkward sometimes, they want to be liked, and they want to make friends just like you do. Try not to put them on a pedestal, because it will only make talking to them even more intimidating.
For all you know, they’ve been admiring you from afar this whole time. You owe it to both of you to try.
3-3. Smile and make eye contact.
No matter how anxious or shy you may feel on the inside, it’s important to look like you’re calm, cool, and collected. Flash them a big smile and try to look at them when you speak. Show them that you’re sure of yourself, and they will automatically be impressed.
When you speak to your crush, make sure that you're facing them, speak loud enough to be understood, and use a friendly tone. You can also lean towards them to better hear what they're saying.
If you look terrified, they’ll most likely feel a bit awkward. Camouflage your nervousness and summon up all of your confidence.
3-4. Give yourself a pep talk.
You are a smart, capable, and charming person. Think of your best qualities, and all the wonderful things you have to offer the people around you. Love and appreciate your strengths, and that's all that matters. Your crush will either see that and be grateful to speak with you, or they will be silly and it's their loss. Go forth and conquer!
Also, try to calm yourself down right before you talk to your crush. Whether you listen to some calming music, go on a walk, have a quick chat with a good friend, or watch a funny video, calming yourself down will help you get rid of the jitters that can come with talking to your crush.
Tips
If you’re extremely nervous, bring a friend with you. They can ease the tension.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting the Conversation\\n1-1. Pick a good time.\\nSince they’re your crush, you probably have a general idea of their schedule. Think about when you’ll see them in class, in the hall, or during free periods. Figure out a time when you know you’ll be around them and will have time to strike up a conversation.\\nUse common sense and change your plans if you need to. If you planned to talk to them at recess but see them cramming for a test or having a heated discussion with a friend, postpone your chat. You don’t want to force them into a conversation when they’re busy.\\n1-2. Greet them casually.\\nA nice, \\\"Hey! What's up?\\\" works as a conversation starter in almost any situation. It’s an informal way to start the conversation, rather than launching into a pre-planned spiel. Additionally, your crush might let you know if it is a good time to talk or not. If they say, “I’m just in a hurry to meet someone at the library!” then you know it might not be a great time.\\nIt may sound silly, but using your crush's name can induce some warm fuzzy feelings right off the bat. Saying, \\\"Hey, Brad!\\\" sounds much more personal than \\\"Hey!\\\"\\nIf you can't make \\\"What's up?\\\" flow off the tongue naturally, open with anything that feels natural to you. You can say something like, \\\"Are you excited for class today?\\\", \\\"Did you watch the new episode last night?\\\", or anything else that can smoothly start a conversation.\\n1-3. Compliment them on something.\\nIt doesn’t have to be anything major, but it’s an easy way to get in their good graces right from the start and hopefully launch into a full-fledged conversation. You can tell them that you like their new haircut, a piece of clothing, or any other appearance-related thing. Noticing something and complimenting it shows your crush that you pay attention, and provides them with the opportunity to tell you about it.\\nIf applicable, you could also mention a recent accomplishment or noteworthy achievement of your crush. You can say anything from, \\\"Congrats on winning that football game last Saturday! I heard you played great,\\\" to, “I liked what you said in class today and I totally agreed.”\\n1-4. Note their body language.\\nIf they engage in conversation with you but continuously look at their phones, glance over their shoulder, or angle their body towards the closest exit, wrap it up. They might be saying friendly things but their focus is not in the conversation, for whatever reason. If they are facing you, listening to what you’re saying, and making eye contact, proceed.\\n2. Making a Connection\\n2-1. Find common ground.\\nThis could be anything, from the crazy history teacher you both have Monday morning to how your little brothers are best friends. Finding common ground is a great way to not only find something to talk about, but to forge a real connection.\\nIf you can't think of common ground, create some! If you don’t have any of the same classes or social circles, find something to connect over. If you know he absolutely loves a certain genre of music, tell him you started listening to it and want some recommendations. If you know he is passionate about a cause, ask him how you can learn more and get involved. It doesn’t matter if you are total opposites– find something that you can bring up to relate to him and bond over something.\\nNot only will you show your crush that you’ve taken note of what he is interested in, you can also truly learn something new about both him and about whatever subject matter you discuss.\\n2-2. Find a reason to continue the conversation.\\nIf you’re shy and this is your first time speaking to your crush, conquering your fear and talking to them is a victory in itself. If you want to take it a step further, try to find a “to be continued…” moment. For example, if you discuss a television show you both enjoy, say something along the lines of, “Well, we will have to discuss again after next week’s episode!” This ensures that you will talk to them again.\\nIf you’re bold, you can ask for their phone number, social media info, or email address. Then, you can continue chatting outside of school.\\n2-3. Offer an invitation.\\nThis is the next step if you're feeling particularly bold. Even if it’s something simple like studying for the exam you both have, it will guarantee that you’ll get more face time with your crush. This doesn’t have to be a date - it can still just be two people getting to know each other better. The romantic part may come later.\\nNo matter how eager you are to talk to them more and spend time with them, it is best to let things evolve naturally. Don’t hit them up for their phone number three minutes after meeting them.\\n3. Appearing Confident\\n3-1. Set yourself up to feel good.\\nSometimes, it helps to get your confidence up before approaching your crush at all. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good– wear a new t-shirt, spend a little extra time doing your hair, or pump yourself up with your favorite song. Embrace those days when you just feel great about yourself, and strike up a conversation then. If you feel good, you’ll exude that confidence.\\nWearing a lucky shirt, standing up straight, and visualizing a great conversation in your head are all additional ways to give yourself that boost of confidence you need.\\nIf doesn’t matter what you do to feel good, just do it!\\n3-2. Remember they’re just like you.\\nNo matter how cute, smart, funny, or cool your crush seems, they are a person just like you. They feel awkward sometimes, they want to be liked, and they want to make friends just like you do. Try not to put them on a pedestal, because it will only make talking to them even more intimidating.\\nFor all you know, they’ve been admiring you from afar this whole time. You owe it to both of you to try.\\n3-3. Smile and make eye contact.\\nNo matter how anxious or shy you may feel on the inside, it’s important to look like you’re calm, cool, and collected. Flash them a big smile and try to look at them when you speak. Show them that you’re sure of yourself, and they will automatically be impressed.\\nWhen you speak to your crush, make sure that you're facing them, speak loud enough to be understood, and use a friendly tone. You can also lean towards them to better hear what they're saying.\\nIf you look terrified, they’ll most likely feel a bit awkward. Camouflage your nervousness and summon up all of your confidence.\\n3-4. Give yourself a pep talk.\\nYou are a smart, capable, and charming person. Think of your best qualities, and all the wonderful things you have to offer the people around you. Love and appreciate your strengths, and that's all that matters. Your crush will either see that and be grateful to speak with you, or they will be silly and it's their loss. Go forth and conquer!\\nAlso, try to calm yourself down right before you talk to your crush. Whether you listen to some calming music, go on a walk, have a quick chat with a good friend, or watch a funny video, calming yourself down will help you get rid of the jitters that can come with talking to your crush.\\nTips\\nIf you’re extremely nervous, bring a friend with you. They can ease the tension.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Talking to your crush can be a nerve-wracking experience. You not only want to avoid awkward silences, but you want to have fun conversation to show him your best self. By doing a little prep work before a conversation with your crush, you can ensure that it goes smoothly. With just a little bit of forethought into your opener, a couple great conversation ideas, and a bit of summoned courage, you'll be chatting up a storm with your crush in no time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a good time.\", \"描述\": \"Since they’re your crush, you probably have a general idea of their schedule. Think about when you’ll see them in class, in the hall, or during free periods. Figure out a time when you know you’ll be around them and will have time to strike up a conversation.\\nUse common sense and change your plans if you need to. If you planned to talk to them at recess but see them cramming for a test or having a heated discussion with a friend, postpone your chat. You don’t want to force them into a conversation when they’re busy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Greet them casually.\", \"描述\": \"A nice, \\\"Hey! What's up?\\\" works as a conversation starter in almost any situation. It’s an informal way to start the conversation, rather than launching into a pre-planned spiel. Additionally, your crush might let you know if it is a good time to talk or not. If they say, “I’m just in a hurry to meet someone at the library!” then you know it might not be a great time.\\nIt may sound silly, but using your crush's name can induce some warm fuzzy feelings right off the bat. Saying, \\\"Hey, Brad!\\\" sounds much more personal than \\\"Hey!\\\"\\nIf you can't make \\\"What's up?\\\" flow off the tongue naturally, open with anything that feels natural to you. You can say something like, \\\"Are you excited for class today?\\\", \\\"Did you watch the new episode last night?\\\", or anything else that can smoothly start a conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment them on something.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t have to be anything major, but it’s an easy way to get in their good graces right from the start and hopefully launch into a full-fledged conversation. You can tell them that you like their new haircut, a piece of clothing, or any other appearance-related thing. Noticing something and complimenting it shows your crush that you pay attention, and provides them with the opportunity to tell you about it.\\nIf applicable, you could also mention a recent accomplishment or noteworthy achievement of your crush. You can say anything from, \\\"Congrats on winning that football game last Saturday! I heard you played great,\\\" to, “I liked what you said in class today and I totally agreed.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Note their body language.\", \"描述\": \"If they engage in conversation with you but continuously look at their phones, glance over their shoulder, or angle their body towards the closest exit, wrap it up. They might be saying friendly things but their focus is not in the conversation, for whatever reason. If they are facing you, listening to what you’re saying, and making eye contact, proceed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Connection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find common ground.\", \"描述\": \"This could be anything, from the crazy history teacher you both have Monday morning to how your little brothers are best friends. Finding common ground is a great way to not only find something to talk about, but to forge a real connection.\\nIf you can't think of common ground, create some! If you don’t have any of the same classes or social circles, find something to connect over. If you know he absolutely loves a certain genre of music, tell him you started listening to it and want some recommendations. If you know he is passionate about a cause, ask him how you can learn more and get involved. It doesn’t matter if you are total opposites– find something that you can bring up to relate to him and bond over something.\\nNot only will you show your crush that you’ve taken note of what he is interested in, you can also truly learn something new about both him and about whatever subject matter you discuss.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a reason to continue the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re shy and this is your first time speaking to your crush, conquering your fear and talking to them is a victory in itself. If you want to take it a step further, try to find a “to be continued…” moment. For example, if you discuss a television show you both enjoy, say something along the lines of, “Well, we will have to discuss again after next week’s episode!” This ensures that you will talk to them again.\\nIf you’re bold, you can ask for their phone number, social media info, or email address. Then, you can continue chatting outside of school.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer an invitation.\", \"描述\": \"This is the next step if you're feeling particularly bold. Even if it’s something simple like studying for the exam you both have, it will guarantee that you’ll get more face time with your crush. This doesn’t have to be a date - it can still just be two people getting to know each other better. The romantic part may come later.\\nNo matter how eager you are to talk to them more and spend time with them, it is best to let things evolve naturally. Don’t hit them up for their phone number three minutes after meeting them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Appearing Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set yourself up to feel good.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, it helps to get your confidence up before approaching your crush at all. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good– wear a new t-shirt, spend a little extra time doing your hair, or pump yourself up with your favorite song. Embrace those days when you just feel great about yourself, and strike up a conversation then. If you feel good, you’ll exude that confidence.\\nWearing a lucky shirt, standing up straight, and visualizing a great conversation in your head are all additional ways to give yourself that boost of confidence you need.\\nIf doesn’t matter what you do to feel good, just do it!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember they’re just like you.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how cute, smart, funny, or cool your crush seems, they are a person just like you. They feel awkward sometimes, they want to be liked, and they want to make friends just like you do. Try not to put them on a pedestal, because it will only make talking to them even more intimidating.\\nFor all you know, they’ve been admiring you from afar this whole time. You owe it to both of you to try.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile and make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how anxious or shy you may feel on the inside, it’s important to look like you’re calm, cool, and collected. Flash them a big smile and try to look at them when you speak. Show them that you’re sure of yourself, and they will automatically be impressed.\\nWhen you speak to your crush, make sure that you're facing them, speak loud enough to be understood, and use a friendly tone. You can also lean towards them to better hear what they're saying.\\nIf you look terrified, they’ll most likely feel a bit awkward. Camouflage your nervousness and summon up all of your confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a pep talk.\", \"描述\": \"You are a smart, capable, and charming person. Think of your best qualities, and all the wonderful things you have to offer the people around you. Love and appreciate your strengths, and that's all that matters. Your crush will either see that and be grateful to speak with you, or they will be silly and it's their loss. Go forth and conquer!\\nAlso, try to calm yourself down right before you talk to your crush. Whether you listen to some calming music, go on a walk, have a quick chat with a good friend, or watch a funny video, calming yourself down will help you get rid of the jitters that can come with talking to your crush.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re extremely nervous, bring a friend with you. They can ease the tension.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,764 | How to Be Good at English | 1. Correcting Common Errors
1-1. Learn the difference between your and you're.
Mixing up these words is one of the most common and easily-fixable usage errors in English. Since there is nothing that stands out more quickly than writing "You're not coming to the dance, are you?" it's important to clear up the difference and never make this mistake again.
is used to mean "something you own." Saying "Is that your cantaloupe?" or "Where is your pocketknife?" are appropriate uses of "your." You can always sound it out and try substituting "you are" for "your" in a sentence. If "you are" would make sense, then you should use the other form "you're."
is a contraction of the words "you" and "are," and it's used as a replacement for those words in a sentence. "You are an excellent tennis player" can be written "You're an excellent tennis player."
1-2. Learn the difference between their, they're, and there.
If "you" and "your" is a solid first place mistake, misusing these words is a close second. It's also a common spell-check mistake, because spell-checkers won't suggest the right version of the word, necessarily, if you make a typo. It can be confusing, but the difference will be clear once you've memorized the usage rule.
means "belongs to them." Appropriate uses would include "Their balloon popped quickly" or "Have you not seen their baby?" The word is only used in this context and for no other reason than to mean "more than one owner."
is a contraction of the words "they" and "are," and should be used to replace those words in a sentence. "They are very much in love" could be written "They're very much in love." Despite the fact that a contraction is used, this word does not imply ownership.
refers to locations and all other uses. "Place the apple over there" or "There is nothing more boring than math" are appropriate uses of "there."
1-3. Learn the difference between its and it's.
This is a slightly confusing rule because it goes against the basic rule for apostrophes, but this is just an example of a contradiction in contractions. Quick rule: Substitute the words "it" and "is" to sentences with an "its" or an "it's." If the words make sense in that sentence, you need to have an apostrophe. If not, then leave the apostrophe off.
when you intend to assign possession to something. Though there is no apostrophe, this means that something owns something else. "Its hair was really dirty" or "I can't compete with its power!" would be appropriate uses of its.
when you want to contract "it" and "is." It would be appropriate to write "It's not that great" or "When it's raining, I like to read."
1-4. Use "two," "too," and "to" correctly.
This is a common typo, but also a common usage error that many talented writers still make regularly. The differences are pretty easy to get down, however. Quick Rule: Too has two "Os," which can help you remember that it means there's more of something, so you should use the word to compare amounts. If, as in "To be, or not to be," there is no amount being discussed, leave the extra "O" off.
is a preposition, which should always precede a noun or a verb and begin a prepositional phrase. "I want to visit France" and "I went to France" are both appropriate uses of "to."
is used as a quantity or to agree. "There was too much alcohol the party" or "I ate too many ice cream cones" are appropriate uses. It can also suggest degrees or levels of emotion, and lengths of time: "You're way too angry" or "I cried for too long." It's also used to agree: "I want to go to the party too."
is a number and should only be used as a number. "I ate two large pizzas" or "There were two pro wrestlers at the party" are appropriate uses of "two."
1-5. Learn the difference between "less" and "fewer."
This is a big one, commonly misused, but it's easy to learn. One is used to refer to amounts and the other is used to refer to numbers. If you've ever learned about the difference between "count" and "non-count" nouns, that'll come in handy with this rule. When there is "less traffic" that means there are "fewer cars."
refers to amounts and non-count nouns. "There was much less water in the pool than last week" or "Much less applause could be heard at the game" are appropriate uses. If you can't count individual units of something, "less" is the appropriate word when referring to it. There is less doubt, less oxygen, and less moral.
refers to numbers and count nouns. "Many fewer people applauded" or "One more bike, one fewer car" would be appropriate uses of fewer. If you can give a specific number of an object, like marbles, dollar bills, cantaloupes, or video games, the right word is "fewer."
1-6. Use "lay" and "lie" correctly.
If you get this one wrong, you're in good company. Learn the rule and you'll never have to worry about getting it wrong again. People get confused because the past tense of "lie" is also "lay," but the difference is something you can learn quickly.
Use "lay" when you're putting something down. "I lay the book on the table" or "Please lay your head on your desk" are appropriate uses of "lay."
Use "lie" when you're resting or reclining. You would write, "I'm going to lie down now" but the past tense form of the word is "lay," which accounts for a lot of the confusion. In other words, you would also write, "I lay down yesterday." Use context clues in the sentence to find the meaning.
1-7. Use "random" and "literally" correctly.
No words are overused and more incorrectly used than these two in English. Learn to use them correctly and you'll win the admiration of English teachers and grammar curmudgeons alike.
means a lack of order or coherence in a series or sequence. There should be no pattern in something that's truly random. Often, people use "random" when they mean "surprising" or "unexpected." For example, it wasn't "some random guy" that talked to you after class. You take the same class, go to the same school, and live in the same town, which means there's nothing random about having a conversation with another person you share space with. It's actually quite likely.
should not be used to imply severity, because "literally" means that something actually happened, and was a literal truth. The only time it would be appropriate to say, "I literally couldn't get out of bed this morning," is if you were actually physically unable to move your legs, not because you were unwilling to move your legs. Otherwise, you mean "figuratively."
1-8. Avoid textspeak.
When you're writing, don't slip into shortened text speak, or use emojis to replace actual words. A colon and a half parenthetical smiley face should never end a sentence. Those have real uses! Let your words communicate your meanings, and use the full versions of those words.
We all like to text quickly, but it's best to avoid texting spelling like "ur" even when you're actually texting. When you're writing in textspeak, you're training yourself to connect those typing muscles with those words, making you more likely to unconsciously use the wrong spelling in a formal setting.
When you're speaking, it's also good habit to avoid actually saying things out loud like, "OMG" or "lol." If you're laughing, just laugh, don't editorialize it.
2. Improving Your Spelling and Vocabulary
2-1. Read everything
The best way to improve your English in all respects is to read aggressively. Read difficult books, read silly books, read long books, read magazines, read cereal boxes, billboards, and programs. Read everything and surround yourself with words. Reading lots of different books will not only improve your vocabulary, but it will help you with spelling. Plus, it's great entertainment and a good alternative to watching TV.
Try reading out loud sometimes, especially if you're uncomfortable doing so in class. The more comfortable you get working your way through words, the better your speech will become and the more confidence you'll have about pronunciation and speaking. It can also be fun to hear how really great writing sounds. Read Edgar Allan Poe aloud, or other poetry to get the full effect.
Read daily and read-aloud books, articles, comic books, magazines, and news on various topics. It will help you to pronounce the words correctly.
To improve your reading fluency, take a book or newspaper a little above your reading level and read it.
If you do not know the words or concepts, look them up.
It is like working out. If you do not do it regularly, you become flabby.
2-2. Learn the words you commonly misspell
English is full of contradictions and abnormalities, making it difficult to sound out everything and spell it correctly. Why is there a "b" at the end of "comb" when it makes no sound? Why do people pronounce "conch" like "konk" but don't say "church" like "churk"? Who knows. We all have words that give us fits, so it's best to just learn the spelling and memorize those words you have a hard time remembering. Commonly misspelled or challenging words people struggle with include:
definitely
beautiful
believe
library
nuclear
neighbor
ceiling
exercise
vacuum
villain
jewelry
license
2-3. Use mnemonic devices to help you memorize tricky words.
People have been misspelling words for as long as people have been spelling words. It's not a new thing. Fortunately, that means lots of little tricks have been passed down over the ages, so you can use some great shortcuts to make life easier on yourself, and on your English grade card. Here are a few of the best ones:
You cut a ce of
You h with your
ecause lephants an lways nderstand mall lephants. Just because.
Never beve a .
An island is land.
! A cmtry!
2-4. Play word games.
There are lots of digital and analog word games you can play that will help you stay engaged with words on a regular basis, in a fun way as opposed to homework. Play board games like Boggle, Scrabble, and Bananagrams to keep your spelling muscles flexed and do crossword puzzles to help with your vocabulary. On your phone, you can play Crosstix, Hangman, and Word Scramble for free, or challenge your friends to the popular game "Words with Friends." Way better than Candy Crush.
2-5. Turn your spell-checker off.
In a recent study completed and reported by the BBC, over a third of respondents were unable to spell "definitely" correctly, while two-thirds were unable to identify the correct spelling of "necessary." Dubbed this the "auto-correct" effect, it seems that spell-check might have a negative effect on our ability to spell words correctly. While getting rid of your spelling companion and crutch might seem like a fate worse than death, it can be good to force yourself to learn and spell the words correctly. You can still run it through the spell-checker before you turn it in. Just practice.
3. Improving Your Writing
3-1. Use active voice instead of passive voice
Verbs have passive voices and active voices, and good writers are always active. The passive voice, appropriate for science reports and some technical writing, places a distance in the writing. Active voice, on the other hand, stands up and demands recognition. Using the exact same verb, you can make a sentence much more active and lively. Active writing is good writing.
: "The city has been scorched by the dragon's breath." Here, the verb in the sentence is actually "to be," because the subject of the sentence–the city–is in the act of being changed by something (the dragon's breath).
: "The dragon's breath scorched the city." Here, the dragon is the subject of the sentence, and the stronger verb–scorch–is used as the verb in the sentence, rather than a vestigial verb phrase.
3-2. Use fewer commas and use them correctly
Lots of inexperienced writers think their biggest problem in the world is using commas correctly. It's not as significant a problem as you might think. Commas aren't used when you want "a pause," they're used to separate clauses in complex sentences. That's not to say they aren't complicated punctuation, but that going through and adding commas willy-nilly is bad writing.
Use commas when you start sentences with adverbs: "Although I drank the poison Kool-Aid, my Wednesday was mostly boring."
Use commas with "because" sentences only if the clause after the because is complex. For example: "I drank the Kool-Aid because I was thirsty" doesn't need a comma before the "because." However, "I drank the Kool-Aid, because my sister left me home alone and there wasn't anything else to drink" requires a comma. You didn't drink Kool-Aid because your sister left you, you drank it because there was nothing else to drink.
Use commas to set off intro clauses: "Fortunately, I carry a pocketknife" is an appropriate comma use. Likewise, "To begin a novel correctly, forget everything you know" is also correct.
Use commas to separate opposing clauses: "The puppies were cute, but smelled disgusting." Avoid commas when the clauses agree: "I'm happy but I can't help it."
3-3. Be concise.
In general, fewer words makes for better writing. Lots of students and inexperienced writers get it in their gourds that writing long, flowery prose will impress the teacher and fool them into thinking a genius wandered into the classroom. Just worry about writing clear sentences, not "smarting up" your writing with complexity. Don't write beyond your capabilities and load your sentences with extra words to try to extend the word count. Use the most muscular sentences possible–cut the fat.
Adverbs and adjectives are easy cuts. "The flowing, fiery dragon breath beset the besieged and ragged city dwellers, cowering in their filthy, stinking, scorched rags of clothes, all matted and terrible" would be much better written, "Flowing, the dragon breath scorched the city dwellers, who cowered in their stinking clothes."
Avoid stacked prepositional phrases. To avoid writing run-on sentences, get in the habit of looking for "stacked" prepositional phrases. These are good indicators that you need to restructure sentences to improve the agreement of the subject and verb. A "stacked" sentence is confusing: "In the field, over the cascading weeks, inside a house, like a weeping girl stood Joseph." Instead, try this: "Like a weeping girl, Joseph stood inside a house in the field. Over the cascading weeks, he…"
3-4. Stop using the thesaurus function on your word processor.
Lots of students think right-clicking and substituting the suggested synonyms for "over-used" words will result in better writing. Most of the time, this is not true. Plus, if you change "The bond between the nations was strong" to "The bond between the nations was beefy," like the synonym-generator suggests, your writing will look foolish. Most teachers can also recognize when you're writing beyond your vocabulary, as well, so it's best to focus on more important aspects of your writing.
If you want to use a more appropriate word, or substitute a word for something that you're overusing, looking at the suggested synonyms is a perfectly acceptable way to find alternatives, but if you don't know the word you must look it up before you insert it.
3-5. Revise, revise, revise
Good writing means good editing. No great writers wrote perfect drafts the first go-around, and you won't either. If you want to be good at English and succeed in your English class, it's important that you save enough time at the end of a writing assignment to go over it, both for proofreading and for editing. While they involve similar skills, proofreading and revising or editing are actually quite different, and equally important.
Editing happens when you improve a piece of writing by re-wording sentences to improve them, checking the writing for content, and addressing large concerns about the essay or the assignment. When you revise, you're "re-visioning" the writing, looking at it with new eyes.
When you proofread, you're specifically looking for mistakes on the sentence-level. So, spelling issues, commas, and other little problems are what you should look for when you proofread. This should happen after you revise.
Write a journal. It allows you to write without being judged by others.
Practice writing essays. It teaches you to put your ideas into a proper form.
Tips
Try as hard as you can not to doodle or pass notes or talk in class. You could miss something very important and it will also save you time from the principal's office!
Try to sit near the front all the time, and ask questions with good vocabulary.
Try to have a regular spelling practice each day at the same time. Practice for tests every day until the big day.
Warnings
Don't stress yourself out! English is hard and sometimes it can be hard to memorize things, but getting better isn't going to happen overnight!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Correcting Common Errors\\n1-1. Learn the difference between your and you're.\\nMixing up these words is one of the most common and easily-fixable usage errors in English. Since there is nothing that stands out more quickly than writing \\\"You're not coming to the dance, are you?\\\" it's important to clear up the difference and never make this mistake again.\\n\\n is used to mean \\\"something you own.\\\" Saying \\\"Is that your cantaloupe?\\\" or \\\"Where is your pocketknife?\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"your.\\\" You can always sound it out and try substituting \\\"you are\\\" for \\\"your\\\" in a sentence. If \\\"you are\\\" would make sense, then you should use the other form \\\"you're.\\\"\\n is a contraction of the words \\\"you\\\" and \\\"are,\\\" and it's used as a replacement for those words in a sentence. \\\"You are an excellent tennis player\\\" can be written \\\"You're an excellent tennis player.\\\"\\n1-2. Learn the difference between their, they're, and there.\\nIf \\\"you\\\" and \\\"your\\\" is a solid first place mistake, misusing these words is a close second. It's also a common spell-check mistake, because spell-checkers won't suggest the right version of the word, necessarily, if you make a typo. It can be confusing, but the difference will be clear once you've memorized the usage rule.\\n\\n means \\\"belongs to them.\\\" Appropriate uses would include \\\"Their balloon popped quickly\\\" or \\\"Have you not seen their baby?\\\" The word is only used in this context and for no other reason than to mean \\\"more than one owner.\\\"\\n is a contraction of the words \\\"they\\\" and \\\"are,\\\" and should be used to replace those words in a sentence. \\\"They are very much in love\\\" could be written \\\"They're very much in love.\\\" Despite the fact that a contraction is used, this word does not imply ownership.\\n refers to locations and all other uses. \\\"Place the apple over there\\\" or \\\"There is nothing more boring than math\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"there.\\\"\\n1-3. Learn the difference between its and it's.\\nThis is a slightly confusing rule because it goes against the basic rule for apostrophes, but this is just an example of a contradiction in contractions. Quick rule: Substitute the words \\\"it\\\" and \\\"is\\\" to sentences with an \\\"its\\\" or an \\\"it's.\\\" If the words make sense in that sentence, you need to have an apostrophe. If not, then leave the apostrophe off.\\n\\n when you intend to assign possession to something. Though there is no apostrophe, this means that something owns something else. \\\"Its hair was really dirty\\\" or \\\"I can't compete with its power!\\\" would be appropriate uses of its.\\n when you want to contract \\\"it\\\" and \\\"is.\\\" It would be appropriate to write \\\"It's not that great\\\" or \\\"When it's raining, I like to read.\\\"\\n1-4. Use \\\"two,\\\" \\\"too,\\\" and \\\"to\\\" correctly.\\nThis is a common typo, but also a common usage error that many talented writers still make regularly. The differences are pretty easy to get down, however. Quick Rule: Too has two \\\"Os,\\\" which can help you remember that it means there's more of something, so you should use the word to compare amounts. If, as in \\\"To be, or not to be,\\\" there is no amount being discussed, leave the extra \\\"O\\\" off.\\n\\n is a preposition, which should always precede a noun or a verb and begin a prepositional phrase. \\\"I want to visit France\\\" and \\\"I went to France\\\" are both appropriate uses of \\\"to.\\\"\\n is used as a quantity or to agree. \\\"There was too much alcohol the party\\\" or \\\"I ate too many ice cream cones\\\" are appropriate uses. It can also suggest degrees or levels of emotion, and lengths of time: \\\"You're way too angry\\\" or \\\"I cried for too long.\\\" It's also used to agree: \\\"I want to go to the party too.\\\"\\n is a number and should only be used as a number. \\\"I ate two large pizzas\\\" or \\\"There were two pro wrestlers at the party\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"two.\\\"\\n1-5. Learn the difference between \\\"less\\\" and \\\"fewer.\\\"\\nThis is a big one, commonly misused, but it's easy to learn. One is used to refer to amounts and the other is used to refer to numbers. If you've ever learned about the difference between \\\"count\\\" and \\\"non-count\\\" nouns, that'll come in handy with this rule. When there is \\\"less traffic\\\" that means there are \\\"fewer cars.\\\"\\n\\n refers to amounts and non-count nouns. \\\"There was much less water in the pool than last week\\\" or \\\"Much less applause could be heard at the game\\\" are appropriate uses. If you can't count individual units of something, \\\"less\\\" is the appropriate word when referring to it. There is less doubt, less oxygen, and less moral.\\n refers to numbers and count nouns. \\\"Many fewer people applauded\\\" or \\\"One more bike, one fewer car\\\" would be appropriate uses of fewer. If you can give a specific number of an object, like marbles, dollar bills, cantaloupes, or video games, the right word is \\\"fewer.\\\"\\n1-6. Use \\\"lay\\\" and \\\"lie\\\" correctly.\\nIf you get this one wrong, you're in good company. Learn the rule and you'll never have to worry about getting it wrong again. People get confused because the past tense of \\\"lie\\\" is also \\\"lay,\\\" but the difference is something you can learn quickly.\\nUse \\\"lay\\\" when you're putting something down. \\\"I lay the book on the table\\\" or \\\"Please lay your head on your desk\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"lay.\\\"\\nUse \\\"lie\\\" when you're resting or reclining. You would write, \\\"I'm going to lie down now\\\" but the past tense form of the word is \\\"lay,\\\" which accounts for a lot of the confusion. In other words, you would also write, \\\"I lay down yesterday.\\\" Use context clues in the sentence to find the meaning.\\n1-7. Use \\\"random\\\" and \\\"literally\\\" correctly.\\nNo words are overused and more incorrectly used than these two in English. Learn to use them correctly and you'll win the admiration of English teachers and grammar curmudgeons alike.\\n\\n means a lack of order or coherence in a series or sequence. There should be no pattern in something that's truly random. Often, people use \\\"random\\\" when they mean \\\"surprising\\\" or \\\"unexpected.\\\" For example, it wasn't \\\"some random guy\\\" that talked to you after class. You take the same class, go to the same school, and live in the same town, which means there's nothing random about having a conversation with another person you share space with. It's actually quite likely.\\n should not be used to imply severity, because \\\"literally\\\" means that something actually happened, and was a literal truth. The only time it would be appropriate to say, \\\"I literally couldn't get out of bed this morning,\\\" is if you were actually physically unable to move your legs, not because you were unwilling to move your legs. Otherwise, you mean \\\"figuratively.\\\"\\n1-8. Avoid textspeak.\\nWhen you're writing, don't slip into shortened text speak, or use emojis to replace actual words. A colon and a half parenthetical smiley face should never end a sentence. Those have real uses! Let your words communicate your meanings, and use the full versions of those words.\\nWe all like to text quickly, but it's best to avoid texting spelling like \\\"ur\\\" even when you're actually texting. When you're writing in textspeak, you're training yourself to connect those typing muscles with those words, making you more likely to unconsciously use the wrong spelling in a formal setting.\\nWhen you're speaking, it's also good habit to avoid actually saying things out loud like, \\\"OMG\\\" or \\\"lol.\\\" If you're laughing, just laugh, don't editorialize it.\\n2. Improving Your Spelling and Vocabulary\\n2-1. Read everything\\nThe best way to improve your English in all respects is to read aggressively. Read difficult books, read silly books, read long books, read magazines, read cereal boxes, billboards, and programs. Read everything and surround yourself with words. Reading lots of different books will not only improve your vocabulary, but it will help you with spelling. Plus, it's great entertainment and a good alternative to watching TV.\\nTry reading out loud sometimes, especially if you're uncomfortable doing so in class. The more comfortable you get working your way through words, the better your speech will become and the more confidence you'll have about pronunciation and speaking. It can also be fun to hear how really great writing sounds. Read Edgar Allan Poe aloud, or other poetry to get the full effect.\\nRead daily and read-aloud books, articles, comic books, magazines, and news on various topics. It will help you to pronounce the words correctly.\\nTo improve your reading fluency, take a book or newspaper a little above your reading level and read it.\\nIf you do not know the words or concepts, look them up.\\nIt is like working out. If you do not do it regularly, you become flabby.\\n2-2. Learn the words you commonly misspell\\nEnglish is full of contradictions and abnormalities, making it difficult to sound out everything and spell it correctly. Why is there a \\\"b\\\" at the end of \\\"comb\\\" when it makes no sound? Why do people pronounce \\\"conch\\\" like \\\"konk\\\" but don't say \\\"church\\\" like \\\"churk\\\"? Who knows. We all have words that give us fits, so it's best to just learn the spelling and memorize those words you have a hard time remembering. Commonly misspelled or challenging words people struggle with include:\\ndefinitely\\nbeautiful\\nbelieve\\nlibrary\\nnuclear\\nneighbor\\nceiling\\nexercise\\nvacuum\\nvillain\\njewelry\\nlicense\\n2-3. Use mnemonic devices to help you memorize tricky words.\\nPeople have been misspelling words for as long as people have been spelling words. It's not a new thing. Fortunately, that means lots of little tricks have been passed down over the ages, so you can use some great shortcuts to make life easier on yourself, and on your English grade card. Here are a few of the best ones:\\nYou cut a ce of \\nYou h with your \\n\\necause lephants an lways nderstand mall lephants. Just because.\\nNever beve a .\\nAn island is land.\\n! A cmtry!\\n2-4. Play word games.\\nThere are lots of digital and analog word games you can play that will help you stay engaged with words on a regular basis, in a fun way as opposed to homework. Play board games like Boggle, Scrabble, and Bananagrams to keep your spelling muscles flexed and do crossword puzzles to help with your vocabulary. On your phone, you can play Crosstix, Hangman, and Word Scramble for free, or challenge your friends to the popular game \\\"Words with Friends.\\\" Way better than Candy Crush.\\n2-5. Turn your spell-checker off.\\nIn a recent study completed and reported by the BBC, over a third of respondents were unable to spell \\\"definitely\\\" correctly, while two-thirds were unable to identify the correct spelling of \\\"necessary.\\\" Dubbed this the \\\"auto-correct\\\" effect, it seems that spell-check might have a negative effect on our ability to spell words correctly. While getting rid of your spelling companion and crutch might seem like a fate worse than death, it can be good to force yourself to learn and spell the words correctly. You can still run it through the spell-checker before you turn it in. Just practice.\\n3. Improving Your Writing\\n3-1. Use active voice instead of passive voice\\nVerbs have passive voices and active voices, and good writers are always active. The passive voice, appropriate for science reports and some technical writing, places a distance in the writing. Active voice, on the other hand, stands up and demands recognition. Using the exact same verb, you can make a sentence much more active and lively. Active writing is good writing.\\n\\n: \\\"The city has been scorched by the dragon's breath.\\\" Here, the verb in the sentence is actually \\\"to be,\\\" because the subject of the sentence–the city–is in the act of being changed by something (the dragon's breath).\\n: \\\"The dragon's breath scorched the city.\\\" Here, the dragon is the subject of the sentence, and the stronger verb–scorch–is used as the verb in the sentence, rather than a vestigial verb phrase.\\n3-2. Use fewer commas and use them correctly\\nLots of inexperienced writers think their biggest problem in the world is using commas correctly. It's not as significant a problem as you might think. Commas aren't used when you want \\\"a pause,\\\" they're used to separate clauses in complex sentences. That's not to say they aren't complicated punctuation, but that going through and adding commas willy-nilly is bad writing.\\nUse commas when you start sentences with adverbs: \\\"Although I drank the poison Kool-Aid, my Wednesday was mostly boring.\\\"\\nUse commas with \\\"because\\\" sentences only if the clause after the because is complex. For example: \\\"I drank the Kool-Aid because I was thirsty\\\" doesn't need a comma before the \\\"because.\\\" However, \\\"I drank the Kool-Aid, because my sister left me home alone and there wasn't anything else to drink\\\" requires a comma. You didn't drink Kool-Aid because your sister left you, you drank it because there was nothing else to drink.\\nUse commas to set off intro clauses: \\\"Fortunately, I carry a pocketknife\\\" is an appropriate comma use. Likewise, \\\"To begin a novel correctly, forget everything you know\\\" is also correct.\\nUse commas to separate opposing clauses: \\\"The puppies were cute, but smelled disgusting.\\\" Avoid commas when the clauses agree: \\\"I'm happy but I can't help it.\\\"\\n3-3. Be concise.\\nIn general, fewer words makes for better writing. Lots of students and inexperienced writers get it in their gourds that writing long, flowery prose will impress the teacher and fool them into thinking a genius wandered into the classroom. Just worry about writing clear sentences, not \\\"smarting up\\\" your writing with complexity. Don't write beyond your capabilities and load your sentences with extra words to try to extend the word count. Use the most muscular sentences possible–cut the fat.\\nAdverbs and adjectives are easy cuts. \\\"The flowing, fiery dragon breath beset the besieged and ragged city dwellers, cowering in their filthy, stinking, scorched rags of clothes, all matted and terrible\\\" would be much better written, \\\"Flowing, the dragon breath scorched the city dwellers, who cowered in their stinking clothes.\\\"\\nAvoid stacked prepositional phrases. To avoid writing run-on sentences, get in the habit of looking for \\\"stacked\\\" prepositional phrases. These are good indicators that you need to restructure sentences to improve the agreement of the subject and verb. A \\\"stacked\\\" sentence is confusing: \\\"In the field, over the cascading weeks, inside a house, like a weeping girl stood Joseph.\\\" Instead, try this: \\\"Like a weeping girl, Joseph stood inside a house in the field. Over the cascading weeks, he…\\\"\\n3-4. Stop using the thesaurus function on your word processor.\\nLots of students think right-clicking and substituting the suggested synonyms for \\\"over-used\\\" words will result in better writing. Most of the time, this is not true. Plus, if you change \\\"The bond between the nations was strong\\\" to \\\"The bond between the nations was beefy,\\\" like the synonym-generator suggests, your writing will look foolish. Most teachers can also recognize when you're writing beyond your vocabulary, as well, so it's best to focus on more important aspects of your writing.\\nIf you want to use a more appropriate word, or substitute a word for something that you're overusing, looking at the suggested synonyms is a perfectly acceptable way to find alternatives, but if you don't know the word you must look it up before you insert it.\\n3-5. Revise, revise, revise\\nGood writing means good editing. No great writers wrote perfect drafts the first go-around, and you won't either. If you want to be good at English and succeed in your English class, it's important that you save enough time at the end of a writing assignment to go over it, both for proofreading and for editing. While they involve similar skills, proofreading and revising or editing are actually quite different, and equally important.\\nEditing happens when you improve a piece of writing by re-wording sentences to improve them, checking the writing for content, and addressing large concerns about the essay or the assignment. When you revise, you're \\\"re-visioning\\\" the writing, looking at it with new eyes.\\nWhen you proofread, you're specifically looking for mistakes on the sentence-level. So, spelling issues, commas, and other little problems are what you should look for when you proofread. This should happen after you revise.\\nWrite a journal. It allows you to write without being judged by others.\\nPractice writing essays. It teaches you to put your ideas into a proper form.\\nTips\\nTry as hard as you can not to doodle or pass notes or talk in class. You could miss something very important and it will also save you time from the principal's office!\\nTry to sit near the front all the time, and ask questions with good vocabulary.\\nTry to have a regular spelling practice each day at the same time. Practice for tests every day until the big day.\\nWarnings\\nDon't stress yourself out! English is hard and sometimes it can be hard to memorize things, but getting better isn't going to happen overnight!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're struggling in English class, you're not alone. From famous writers like H.G. Wells and Mark Twain to politicians like Teddy Roosevelt, lots of highly intelligent people have struggled with spelling, usage, and other basic grammar issues. Full of quirks and contradictions, the English language isn't the easiest to learn and use correctly. By addressing the most common errors and concerns, however, you can start actively correcting your errors, improving your vocabulary, spelling, and writing, to give yourself the best possible chance at success in English. \\n\\nIf English isn't your first language, you might want to start with How to Learn English or How to Improve Your English.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Correcting Common Errors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn the difference between your and you're.\", \"描述\": \"Mixing up these words is one of the most common and easily-fixable usage errors in English. Since there is nothing that stands out more quickly than writing \\\"You're not coming to the dance, are you?\\\" it's important to clear up the difference and never make this mistake again.\\n\\n is used to mean \\\"something you own.\\\" Saying \\\"Is that your cantaloupe?\\\" or \\\"Where is your pocketknife?\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"your.\\\" You can always sound it out and try substituting \\\"you are\\\" for \\\"your\\\" in a sentence. If \\\"you are\\\" would make sense, then you should use the other form \\\"you're.\\\"\\n is a contraction of the words \\\"you\\\" and \\\"are,\\\" and it's used as a replacement for those words in a sentence. \\\"You are an excellent tennis player\\\" can be written \\\"You're an excellent tennis player.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the difference between their, they're, and there.\", \"描述\": \"If \\\"you\\\" and \\\"your\\\" is a solid first place mistake, misusing these words is a close second. It's also a common spell-check mistake, because spell-checkers won't suggest the right version of the word, necessarily, if you make a typo. It can be confusing, but the difference will be clear once you've memorized the usage rule.\\n\\n means \\\"belongs to them.\\\" Appropriate uses would include \\\"Their balloon popped quickly\\\" or \\\"Have you not seen their baby?\\\" The word is only used in this context and for no other reason than to mean \\\"more than one owner.\\\"\\n is a contraction of the words \\\"they\\\" and \\\"are,\\\" and should be used to replace those words in a sentence. \\\"They are very much in love\\\" could be written \\\"They're very much in love.\\\" Despite the fact that a contraction is used, this word does not imply ownership.\\n refers to locations and all other uses. \\\"Place the apple over there\\\" or \\\"There is nothing more boring than math\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"there.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn the difference between its and it's.\", \"描述\": \"This is a slightly confusing rule because it goes against the basic rule for apostrophes, but this is just an example of a contradiction in contractions. Quick rule: Substitute the words \\\"it\\\" and \\\"is\\\" to sentences with an \\\"its\\\" or an \\\"it's.\\\" If the words make sense in that sentence, you need to have an apostrophe. If not, then leave the apostrophe off.\\n\\n when you intend to assign possession to something. Though there is no apostrophe, this means that something owns something else. \\\"Its hair was really dirty\\\" or \\\"I can't compete with its power!\\\" would be appropriate uses of its.\\n when you want to contract \\\"it\\\" and \\\"is.\\\" It would be appropriate to write \\\"It's not that great\\\" or \\\"When it's raining, I like to read.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"two,\\\" \\\"too,\\\" and \\\"to\\\" correctly.\", \"描述\": \"This is a common typo, but also a common usage error that many talented writers still make regularly. The differences are pretty easy to get down, however. Quick Rule: Too has two \\\"Os,\\\" which can help you remember that it means there's more of something, so you should use the word to compare amounts. If, as in \\\"To be, or not to be,\\\" there is no amount being discussed, leave the extra \\\"O\\\" off.\\n\\n is a preposition, which should always precede a noun or a verb and begin a prepositional phrase. \\\"I want to visit France\\\" and \\\"I went to France\\\" are both appropriate uses of \\\"to.\\\"\\n is used as a quantity or to agree. \\\"There was too much alcohol the party\\\" or \\\"I ate too many ice cream cones\\\" are appropriate uses. It can also suggest degrees or levels of emotion, and lengths of time: \\\"You're way too angry\\\" or \\\"I cried for too long.\\\" It's also used to agree: \\\"I want to go to the party too.\\\"\\n is a number and should only be used as a number. \\\"I ate two large pizzas\\\" or \\\"There were two pro wrestlers at the party\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"two.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn the difference between \\\"less\\\" and \\\"fewer.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"This is a big one, commonly misused, but it's easy to learn. One is used to refer to amounts and the other is used to refer to numbers. If you've ever learned about the difference between \\\"count\\\" and \\\"non-count\\\" nouns, that'll come in handy with this rule. When there is \\\"less traffic\\\" that means there are \\\"fewer cars.\\\"\\n\\n refers to amounts and non-count nouns. \\\"There was much less water in the pool than last week\\\" or \\\"Much less applause could be heard at the game\\\" are appropriate uses. If you can't count individual units of something, \\\"less\\\" is the appropriate word when referring to it. There is less doubt, less oxygen, and less moral.\\n refers to numbers and count nouns. \\\"Many fewer people applauded\\\" or \\\"One more bike, one fewer car\\\" would be appropriate uses of fewer. If you can give a specific number of an object, like marbles, dollar bills, cantaloupes, or video games, the right word is \\\"fewer.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"lay\\\" and \\\"lie\\\" correctly.\", \"描述\": \"If you get this one wrong, you're in good company. Learn the rule and you'll never have to worry about getting it wrong again. People get confused because the past tense of \\\"lie\\\" is also \\\"lay,\\\" but the difference is something you can learn quickly.\\nUse \\\"lay\\\" when you're putting something down. \\\"I lay the book on the table\\\" or \\\"Please lay your head on your desk\\\" are appropriate uses of \\\"lay.\\\"\\nUse \\\"lie\\\" when you're resting or reclining. You would write, \\\"I'm going to lie down now\\\" but the past tense form of the word is \\\"lay,\\\" which accounts for a lot of the confusion. In other words, you would also write, \\\"I lay down yesterday.\\\" Use context clues in the sentence to find the meaning.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"random\\\" and \\\"literally\\\" correctly.\", \"描述\": \"No words are overused and more incorrectly used than these two in English. Learn to use them correctly and you'll win the admiration of English teachers and grammar curmudgeons alike.\\n\\n means a lack of order or coherence in a series or sequence. There should be no pattern in something that's truly random. Often, people use \\\"random\\\" when they mean \\\"surprising\\\" or \\\"unexpected.\\\" For example, it wasn't \\\"some random guy\\\" that talked to you after class. You take the same class, go to the same school, and live in the same town, which means there's nothing random about having a conversation with another person you share space with. It's actually quite likely.\\n should not be used to imply severity, because \\\"literally\\\" means that something actually happened, and was a literal truth. The only time it would be appropriate to say, \\\"I literally couldn't get out of bed this morning,\\\" is if you were actually physically unable to move your legs, not because you were unwilling to move your legs. Otherwise, you mean \\\"figuratively.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid textspeak.\", \"描述\": \"When you're writing, don't slip into shortened text speak, or use emojis to replace actual words. A colon and a half parenthetical smiley face should never end a sentence. Those have real uses! Let your words communicate your meanings, and use the full versions of those words.\\nWe all like to text quickly, but it's best to avoid texting spelling like \\\"ur\\\" even when you're actually texting. When you're writing in textspeak, you're training yourself to connect those typing muscles with those words, making you more likely to unconsciously use the wrong spelling in a formal setting.\\nWhen you're speaking, it's also good habit to avoid actually saying things out loud like, \\\"OMG\\\" or \\\"lol.\\\" If you're laughing, just laugh, don't editorialize it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Spelling and Vocabulary\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read everything\", \"描述\": \"The best way to improve your English in all respects is to read aggressively. Read difficult books, read silly books, read long books, read magazines, read cereal boxes, billboards, and programs. Read everything and surround yourself with words. Reading lots of different books will not only improve your vocabulary, but it will help you with spelling. Plus, it's great entertainment and a good alternative to watching TV.\\nTry reading out loud sometimes, especially if you're uncomfortable doing so in class. The more comfortable you get working your way through words, the better your speech will become and the more confidence you'll have about pronunciation and speaking. It can also be fun to hear how really great writing sounds. Read Edgar Allan Poe aloud, or other poetry to get the full effect.\\nRead daily and read-aloud books, articles, comic books, magazines, and news on various topics. It will help you to pronounce the words correctly.\\nTo improve your reading fluency, take a book or newspaper a little above your reading level and read it.\\nIf you do not know the words or concepts, look them up.\\nIt is like working out. If you do not do it regularly, you become flabby.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn the words you commonly misspell\", \"描述\": \"English is full of contradictions and abnormalities, making it difficult to sound out everything and spell it correctly. Why is there a \\\"b\\\" at the end of \\\"comb\\\" when it makes no sound? Why do people pronounce \\\"conch\\\" like \\\"konk\\\" but don't say \\\"church\\\" like \\\"churk\\\"? Who knows. We all have words that give us fits, so it's best to just learn the spelling and memorize those words you have a hard time remembering. Commonly misspelled or challenging words people struggle with include:\\ndefinitely\\nbeautiful\\nbelieve\\nlibrary\\nnuclear\\nneighbor\\nceiling\\nexercise\\nvacuum\\nvillain\\njewelry\\nlicense\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use mnemonic devices to help you memorize tricky words.\", \"描述\": \"People have been misspelling words for as long as people have been spelling words. It's not a new thing. Fortunately, that means lots of little tricks have been passed down over the ages, so you can use some great shortcuts to make life easier on yourself, and on your English grade card. Here are a few of the best ones:\\nYou cut a ce of \\nYou h with your \\n\\necause lephants an lways nderstand mall lephants. Just because.\\nNever beve a .\\nAn island is land.\\n! A cmtry!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play word games.\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of digital and analog word games you can play that will help you stay engaged with words on a regular basis, in a fun way as opposed to homework. Play board games like Boggle, Scrabble, and Bananagrams to keep your spelling muscles flexed and do crossword puzzles to help with your vocabulary. On your phone, you can play Crosstix, Hangman, and Word Scramble for free, or challenge your friends to the popular game \\\"Words with Friends.\\\" Way better than Candy Crush.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Turn your spell-checker off.\", \"描述\": \"In a recent study completed and reported by the BBC, over a third of respondents were unable to spell \\\"definitely\\\" correctly, while two-thirds were unable to identify the correct spelling of \\\"necessary.\\\" Dubbed this the \\\"auto-correct\\\" effect, it seems that spell-check might have a negative effect on our ability to spell words correctly. While getting rid of your spelling companion and crutch might seem like a fate worse than death, it can be good to force yourself to learn and spell the words correctly. You can still run it through the spell-checker before you turn it in. Just practice.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Writing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use active voice instead of passive voice\", \"描述\": \"Verbs have passive voices and active voices, and good writers are always active. The passive voice, appropriate for science reports and some technical writing, places a distance in the writing. Active voice, on the other hand, stands up and demands recognition. Using the exact same verb, you can make a sentence much more active and lively. Active writing is good writing.\\n\\n: \\\"The city has been scorched by the dragon's breath.\\\" Here, the verb in the sentence is actually \\\"to be,\\\" because the subject of the sentence–the city–is in the act of being changed by something (the dragon's breath).\\n: \\\"The dragon's breath scorched the city.\\\" Here, the dragon is the subject of the sentence, and the stronger verb–scorch–is used as the verb in the sentence, rather than a vestigial verb phrase.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use fewer commas and use them correctly\", \"描述\": \"Lots of inexperienced writers think their biggest problem in the world is using commas correctly. It's not as significant a problem as you might think. Commas aren't used when you want \\\"a pause,\\\" they're used to separate clauses in complex sentences. That's not to say they aren't complicated punctuation, but that going through and adding commas willy-nilly is bad writing.\\nUse commas when you start sentences with adverbs: \\\"Although I drank the poison Kool-Aid, my Wednesday was mostly boring.\\\"\\nUse commas with \\\"because\\\" sentences only if the clause after the because is complex. For example: \\\"I drank the Kool-Aid because I was thirsty\\\" doesn't need a comma before the \\\"because.\\\" However, \\\"I drank the Kool-Aid, because my sister left me home alone and there wasn't anything else to drink\\\" requires a comma. You didn't drink Kool-Aid because your sister left you, you drank it because there was nothing else to drink.\\nUse commas to set off intro clauses: \\\"Fortunately, I carry a pocketknife\\\" is an appropriate comma use. Likewise, \\\"To begin a novel correctly, forget everything you know\\\" is also correct.\\nUse commas to separate opposing clauses: \\\"The puppies were cute, but smelled disgusting.\\\" Avoid commas when the clauses agree: \\\"I'm happy but I can't help it.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be concise.\", \"描述\": \"In general, fewer words makes for better writing. Lots of students and inexperienced writers get it in their gourds that writing long, flowery prose will impress the teacher and fool them into thinking a genius wandered into the classroom. Just worry about writing clear sentences, not \\\"smarting up\\\" your writing with complexity. Don't write beyond your capabilities and load your sentences with extra words to try to extend the word count. Use the most muscular sentences possible–cut the fat.\\nAdverbs and adjectives are easy cuts. \\\"The flowing, fiery dragon breath beset the besieged and ragged city dwellers, cowering in their filthy, stinking, scorched rags of clothes, all matted and terrible\\\" would be much better written, \\\"Flowing, the dragon breath scorched the city dwellers, who cowered in their stinking clothes.\\\"\\nAvoid stacked prepositional phrases. To avoid writing run-on sentences, get in the habit of looking for \\\"stacked\\\" prepositional phrases. These are good indicators that you need to restructure sentences to improve the agreement of the subject and verb. A \\\"stacked\\\" sentence is confusing: \\\"In the field, over the cascading weeks, inside a house, like a weeping girl stood Joseph.\\\" Instead, try this: \\\"Like a weeping girl, Joseph stood inside a house in the field. Over the cascading weeks, he…\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop using the thesaurus function on your word processor.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of students think right-clicking and substituting the suggested synonyms for \\\"over-used\\\" words will result in better writing. Most of the time, this is not true. Plus, if you change \\\"The bond between the nations was strong\\\" to \\\"The bond between the nations was beefy,\\\" like the synonym-generator suggests, your writing will look foolish. Most teachers can also recognize when you're writing beyond your vocabulary, as well, so it's best to focus on more important aspects of your writing.\\nIf you want to use a more appropriate word, or substitute a word for something that you're overusing, looking at the suggested synonyms is a perfectly acceptable way to find alternatives, but if you don't know the word you must look it up before you insert it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Revise, revise, revise\", \"描述\": \"Good writing means good editing. No great writers wrote perfect drafts the first go-around, and you won't either. If you want to be good at English and succeed in your English class, it's important that you save enough time at the end of a writing assignment to go over it, both for proofreading and for editing. While they involve similar skills, proofreading and revising or editing are actually quite different, and equally important.\\nEditing happens when you improve a piece of writing by re-wording sentences to improve them, checking the writing for content, and addressing large concerns about the essay or the assignment. When you revise, you're \\\"re-visioning\\\" the writing, looking at it with new eyes.\\nWhen you proofread, you're specifically looking for mistakes on the sentence-level. So, spelling issues, commas, and other little problems are what you should look for when you proofread. This should happen after you revise.\\nWrite a journal. It allows you to write without being judged by others.\\nPractice writing essays. It teaches you to put your ideas into a proper form.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try as hard as you can not to doodle or pass notes or talk in class. You could miss something very important and it will also save you time from the principal's office!\\n\", \"Try to sit near the front all the time, and ask questions with good vocabulary.\\n\", \"Try to have a regular spelling practice each day at the same time. Practice for tests every day until the big day.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't stress yourself out! English is hard and sometimes it can be hard to memorize things, but getting better isn't going to happen overnight!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,765 | How to Be Good at Fist Fighting | 1. Taking the Offensive
1-1. Get into an active stance so you can move around easily.
Keep most of your weight on the balls of your feet and bend your knees slightly so you’re able to move around quickly. Turn your body to the side so your dominant side is furthest from your opponent. Keep your hands level with your cheeks so you’re able to throw punches quickly while also being able to defend yourself.
You can choose to keep your hands in open palms or make fists in your neutral stance.
Avoid tensing your body up since you won’t be able to maneuver as effectively.
You may also stand with your dominant side closest to your opponent, but you may not be able to throw a punch as well.
1-2. Make tight fists that are in line with your elbows when you punch.
Curl your fingers so the tips dig into the center of your palm. Try to make the front of your fist as flat as you’re able so you don’t hurt yourself when you throw a punch. Wrap your thumb around the bottom of your fist and apply pressure to make your fist tighter. Keep the back of your hand in a straight line with your forearm to keep the wrist locked.
Don’t wrap your fingers around your thumb since you may end up hurting yourself when you throw a punch.
Avoid bending your wrist when you make a fist or else your punch won’t be as powerful when it lands and you could get a sprain.
1-3. Aim for vulnerable areas to hurt your opponent more.
The most vulnerable places on the face include the eyes, ears, and nose. If you want the fight to end quickly, direct your punches toward these areas to hurt your opponent and make them less able to fight back effectively. If you have trouble hitting your opponent in the face, try going for their neck or throat to stun them.
You should always respect your opponent - don't use any dishonorable tricks, don't fight dirty and never attack them from behind. Make sure it's a fair fight.
Try kicking your opponent in the crotch or their knees to help take them down faster so you’re able to get away.
1-4. Throw a jab with the arm that’s furthest from your opponent.
Start by holding your fists up so they’re level with your cheeks. When you throw the punch, quickly extend your dominant arm and twist your palm so it faces down. As your arm goes forward, rotate your dominant shoulder forward to get more power from your punch. Aim for your opponent’s nose, eyes, or jaw to stun them.
Alternate which hand you jab with to get off multiple, rapid hits.
Keep your other hand in front of your face so you can block your opponent if they try to hit you.
1-5. Practice throwing hooks so your opponent doesn’t see the punch.
Hooks are powerful punches that you throw from the side to catch your opponent off guard. Aim for your opponent’s cheek or jaw when you throw the punch. Make sure to lock your wrist so the back of your hand stays in line with your elbow to get the most power.
Put your hands up with open palms to make it look like you don’t want to fight anymore before throwing a hook with the arm you have out in front. This can be a great way to surprise your opponent and stun them.
1-6. Try a headbutt to stun your opponent.
If you’re close enough to your opponent, you may be able to land a headbutt in order to daze them. Quickly tilt your neck back before slamming it forward into your opponent’s nose or the space between their eyes. Use the top of your forehead since it’s the strongest spot and will hurt you the least.
Headbutts are illegal in most official fights, such as mixed martial arts.
Headbutting someone could also knock them unconscious.
2. Defending Yourself
2-1. Watch your opponent so you can anticipate their movements.
Always keep your eyes on your opponent, specifically watching their eyes and their arms. Pay attention to their movements so you can guess where they plan on punching you. If you need to look somewhere else, quickly glance away before returning your gaze back to your opponent.
While it’s important to always watch your opponent, be aware of your surroundings so you don’t get backed into a corner or trip on something.
2-2. Stand with your body turned to the side so you’re harder to hit.
Stand so the non-dominant side of your body faces your opponent with your shoulder out in front. Keep your chest and hips facing toward the side since that gives your opponent fewer opportunities to punch you. Shift your weight onto the balls of your feet so you can easily move around and dodge hits if you need to.
Avoid standing with your body square to your opponent since they will easily be able to punch your chest or stomach.
Crouch down slightly to make it more difficult for your opponent to hit you. However, keep in mind that when you’re crouched, your opponent may be able to kick or knee you in the face easier.
2-3. Guard your face with your hands and arms so you can block punches.
Keep your hands up near your cheeks so you can react quickly when they throw a punch. When you see a punch coming toward your head, raise your forearms in front of your face to block their fist easier. Tense up your arms to brace yourself better and prevent them from making solid contact.
Make sure you’re still able to see your opponent while you’re blocking or else they could get a punch off that you aren’t expecting.
Tuck your head down when you’re expecting a punch to help protect sensitive areas, like your eyes and nose.
2-4. Push your opponent away to get more distance between you.
When your opponent is in between punches or after you land a punch, open your fists and push your opponent away as hard as you can. This can help you get back into an optimal stance and prepare for the next punch while your opponent tries to recover.
Aim to push your opponent by their shoulders or chest so you can throw them off balance.
Take the opportunity while your opponent’s trying to recover to land another punch so you can get a leg up on the fight.
2-5. Roll your body away from a punch to help deflect it.
You won’t be able to block every hit, so you will have to take a few punches. When you get hit, twist your body in the direction your opponent’s punching so you don’t get hit as hard and their fist rolls off your body. Always turn your body away from the hit rather than into it, or else you’ll get hurt more often during the fight.
If you’re unable to turn away completely, you may try ducking from side to side to make it harder for your opponent to hit you.
2-6. Never run away like a coward.
Instead, talk your opponent out of fighting and convince them to change their life - they may even become your friend in the future, so be respectful.
It’s okay to yell out or call for help if you need it. Contact police or law enforcement if you’re worried about your safety after the fight.
Tips
Avoid running or moving around too quickly since you can run out of breath and be less effective in a fight.
Do you best to stay upright while you’re fighting. If you get knocked down, protect your head as much as possible to avoid getting hurt more.
Warnings
Don’t start a fight unless you absolutely need to. Fist fights can get you in trouble with law enforcement if they’re done for reasons outside of self-defense. Always try to call for help or get away if you’re able.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking the Offensive\\n1-1. Get into an active stance so you can move around easily.\\nKeep most of your weight on the balls of your feet and bend your knees slightly so you’re able to move around quickly. Turn your body to the side so your dominant side is furthest from your opponent. Keep your hands level with your cheeks so you’re able to throw punches quickly while also being able to defend yourself.\\nYou can choose to keep your hands in open palms or make fists in your neutral stance.\\nAvoid tensing your body up since you won’t be able to maneuver as effectively.\\nYou may also stand with your dominant side closest to your opponent, but you may not be able to throw a punch as well.\\n1-2. Make tight fists that are in line with your elbows when you punch.\\nCurl your fingers so the tips dig into the center of your palm. Try to make the front of your fist as flat as you’re able so you don’t hurt yourself when you throw a punch. Wrap your thumb around the bottom of your fist and apply pressure to make your fist tighter. Keep the back of your hand in a straight line with your forearm to keep the wrist locked.\\nDon’t wrap your fingers around your thumb since you may end up hurting yourself when you throw a punch.\\nAvoid bending your wrist when you make a fist or else your punch won’t be as powerful when it lands and you could get a sprain.\\n1-3. Aim for vulnerable areas to hurt your opponent more.\\nThe most vulnerable places on the face include the eyes, ears, and nose. If you want the fight to end quickly, direct your punches toward these areas to hurt your opponent and make them less able to fight back effectively. If you have trouble hitting your opponent in the face, try going for their neck or throat to stun them.\\nYou should always respect your opponent - don't use any dishonorable tricks, don't fight dirty and never attack them from behind. Make sure it's a fair fight.\\nTry kicking your opponent in the crotch or their knees to help take them down faster so you’re able to get away.\\n1-4. Throw a jab with the arm that’s furthest from your opponent.\\nStart by holding your fists up so they’re level with your cheeks. When you throw the punch, quickly extend your dominant arm and twist your palm so it faces down. As your arm goes forward, rotate your dominant shoulder forward to get more power from your punch. Aim for your opponent’s nose, eyes, or jaw to stun them.\\nAlternate which hand you jab with to get off multiple, rapid hits.\\nKeep your other hand in front of your face so you can block your opponent if they try to hit you.\\n1-5. Practice throwing hooks so your opponent doesn’t see the punch.\\nHooks are powerful punches that you throw from the side to catch your opponent off guard. Aim for your opponent’s cheek or jaw when you throw the punch. Make sure to lock your wrist so the back of your hand stays in line with your elbow to get the most power.\\nPut your hands up with open palms to make it look like you don’t want to fight anymore before throwing a hook with the arm you have out in front. This can be a great way to surprise your opponent and stun them.\\n1-6. Try a headbutt to stun your opponent.\\nIf you’re close enough to your opponent, you may be able to land a headbutt in order to daze them. Quickly tilt your neck back before slamming it forward into your opponent’s nose or the space between their eyes. Use the top of your forehead since it’s the strongest spot and will hurt you the least.\\nHeadbutts are illegal in most official fights, such as mixed martial arts.\\nHeadbutting someone could also knock them unconscious.\\n2. Defending Yourself\\n2-1. Watch your opponent so you can anticipate their movements.\\nAlways keep your eyes on your opponent, specifically watching their eyes and their arms. Pay attention to their movements so you can guess where they plan on punching you. If you need to look somewhere else, quickly glance away before returning your gaze back to your opponent.\\nWhile it’s important to always watch your opponent, be aware of your surroundings so you don’t get backed into a corner or trip on something.\\n2-2. Stand with your body turned to the side so you’re harder to hit.\\nStand so the non-dominant side of your body faces your opponent with your shoulder out in front. Keep your chest and hips facing toward the side since that gives your opponent fewer opportunities to punch you. Shift your weight onto the balls of your feet so you can easily move around and dodge hits if you need to.\\nAvoid standing with your body square to your opponent since they will easily be able to punch your chest or stomach.\\nCrouch down slightly to make it more difficult for your opponent to hit you. However, keep in mind that when you’re crouched, your opponent may be able to kick or knee you in the face easier.\\n2-3. Guard your face with your hands and arms so you can block punches.\\nKeep your hands up near your cheeks so you can react quickly when they throw a punch. When you see a punch coming toward your head, raise your forearms in front of your face to block their fist easier. Tense up your arms to brace yourself better and prevent them from making solid contact.\\nMake sure you’re still able to see your opponent while you’re blocking or else they could get a punch off that you aren’t expecting.\\nTuck your head down when you’re expecting a punch to help protect sensitive areas, like your eyes and nose.\\n2-4. Push your opponent away to get more distance between you.\\nWhen your opponent is in between punches or after you land a punch, open your fists and push your opponent away as hard as you can. This can help you get back into an optimal stance and prepare for the next punch while your opponent tries to recover.\\nAim to push your opponent by their shoulders or chest so you can throw them off balance.\\nTake the opportunity while your opponent’s trying to recover to land another punch so you can get a leg up on the fight.\\n2-5. Roll your body away from a punch to help deflect it.\\nYou won’t be able to block every hit, so you will have to take a few punches. When you get hit, twist your body in the direction your opponent’s punching so you don’t get hit as hard and their fist rolls off your body. Always turn your body away from the hit rather than into it, or else you’ll get hurt more often during the fight.\\nIf you’re unable to turn away completely, you may try ducking from side to side to make it harder for your opponent to hit you.\\n2-6. Never run away like a coward.\\nInstead, talk your opponent out of fighting and convince them to change their life - they may even become your friend in the future, so be respectful.\\nIt’s okay to yell out or call for help if you need it. Contact police or law enforcement if you’re worried about your safety after the fight.\\nTips\\nAvoid running or moving around too quickly since you can run out of breath and be less effective in a fight.\\nDo you best to stay upright while you’re fighting. If you get knocked down, protect your head as much as possible to avoid getting hurt more.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t start a fight unless you absolutely need to. Fist fights can get you in trouble with law enforcement if they’re done for reasons outside of self-defense. Always try to call for help or get away if you’re able.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While it’s usually best to avoid fighting someone else, there may be times where you don’t have any other options except throwing a few punches. If you get into a fist fight and you’re not able to get out of it, there are techniques that you can use to improve your chances of winning. Practice throwing different punches so you can get better offensively, and keep your arms up so you’re ready to block your opponent. With a bit of knowledge and practice, you’ll be able to hold your own in most fights.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking the Offensive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get into an active stance so you can move around easily.\", \"描述\": \"Keep most of your weight on the balls of your feet and bend your knees slightly so you’re able to move around quickly. Turn your body to the side so your dominant side is furthest from your opponent. Keep your hands level with your cheeks so you’re able to throw punches quickly while also being able to defend yourself.\\nYou can choose to keep your hands in open palms or make fists in your neutral stance.\\nAvoid tensing your body up since you won’t be able to maneuver as effectively.\\nYou may also stand with your dominant side closest to your opponent, but you may not be able to throw a punch as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make tight fists that are in line with your elbows when you punch.\", \"描述\": \"Curl your fingers so the tips dig into the center of your palm. Try to make the front of your fist as flat as you’re able so you don’t hurt yourself when you throw a punch. Wrap your thumb around the bottom of your fist and apply pressure to make your fist tighter. Keep the back of your hand in a straight line with your forearm to keep the wrist locked.\\nDon’t wrap your fingers around your thumb since you may end up hurting yourself when you throw a punch.\\nAvoid bending your wrist when you make a fist or else your punch won’t be as powerful when it lands and you could get a sprain.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Aim for vulnerable areas to hurt your opponent more.\", \"描述\": \"The most vulnerable places on the face include the eyes, ears, and nose. If you want the fight to end quickly, direct your punches toward these areas to hurt your opponent and make them less able to fight back effectively. If you have trouble hitting your opponent in the face, try going for their neck or throat to stun them.\\nYou should always respect your opponent - don't use any dishonorable tricks, don't fight dirty and never attack them from behind. Make sure it's a fair fight.\\nTry kicking your opponent in the crotch or their knees to help take them down faster so you’re able to get away.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Throw a jab with the arm that’s furthest from your opponent.\", \"描述\": \"Start by holding your fists up so they’re level with your cheeks. When you throw the punch, quickly extend your dominant arm and twist your palm so it faces down. As your arm goes forward, rotate your dominant shoulder forward to get more power from your punch. Aim for your opponent’s nose, eyes, or jaw to stun them.\\nAlternate which hand you jab with to get off multiple, rapid hits.\\nKeep your other hand in front of your face so you can block your opponent if they try to hit you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice throwing hooks so your opponent doesn’t see the punch.\", \"描述\": \"Hooks are powerful punches that you throw from the side to catch your opponent off guard. Aim for your opponent’s cheek or jaw when you throw the punch. Make sure to lock your wrist so the back of your hand stays in line with your elbow to get the most power.\\nPut your hands up with open palms to make it look like you don’t want to fight anymore before throwing a hook with the arm you have out in front. This can be a great way to surprise your opponent and stun them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try a headbutt to stun your opponent.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re close enough to your opponent, you may be able to land a headbutt in order to daze them. Quickly tilt your neck back before slamming it forward into your opponent’s nose or the space between their eyes. Use the top of your forehead since it’s the strongest spot and will hurt you the least.\\nHeadbutts are illegal in most official fights, such as mixed martial arts.\\nHeadbutting someone could also knock them unconscious.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Defending Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch your opponent so you can anticipate their movements.\", \"描述\": \"Always keep your eyes on your opponent, specifically watching their eyes and their arms. Pay attention to their movements so you can guess where they plan on punching you. If you need to look somewhere else, quickly glance away before returning your gaze back to your opponent.\\nWhile it’s important to always watch your opponent, be aware of your surroundings so you don’t get backed into a corner or trip on something.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stand with your body turned to the side so you’re harder to hit.\", \"描述\": \"Stand so the non-dominant side of your body faces your opponent with your shoulder out in front. Keep your chest and hips facing toward the side since that gives your opponent fewer opportunities to punch you. Shift your weight onto the balls of your feet so you can easily move around and dodge hits if you need to.\\nAvoid standing with your body square to your opponent since they will easily be able to punch your chest or stomach.\\nCrouch down slightly to make it more difficult for your opponent to hit you. However, keep in mind that when you’re crouched, your opponent may be able to kick or knee you in the face easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Guard your face with your hands and arms so you can block punches.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your hands up near your cheeks so you can react quickly when they throw a punch. When you see a punch coming toward your head, raise your forearms in front of your face to block their fist easier. Tense up your arms to brace yourself better and prevent them from making solid contact.\\nMake sure you’re still able to see your opponent while you’re blocking or else they could get a punch off that you aren’t expecting.\\nTuck your head down when you’re expecting a punch to help protect sensitive areas, like your eyes and nose.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Push your opponent away to get more distance between you.\", \"描述\": \"When your opponent is in between punches or after you land a punch, open your fists and push your opponent away as hard as you can. This can help you get back into an optimal stance and prepare for the next punch while your opponent tries to recover.\\nAim to push your opponent by their shoulders or chest so you can throw them off balance.\\nTake the opportunity while your opponent’s trying to recover to land another punch so you can get a leg up on the fight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Roll your body away from a punch to help deflect it.\", \"描述\": \"You won’t be able to block every hit, so you will have to take a few punches. When you get hit, twist your body in the direction your opponent’s punching so you don’t get hit as hard and their fist rolls off your body. Always turn your body away from the hit rather than into it, or else you’ll get hurt more often during the fight.\\nIf you’re unable to turn away completely, you may try ducking from side to side to make it harder for your opponent to hit you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Never run away like a coward.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, talk your opponent out of fighting and convince them to change their life - they may even become your friend in the future, so be respectful.\\nIt’s okay to yell out or call for help if you need it. Contact police or law enforcement if you’re worried about your safety after the fight.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid running or moving around too quickly since you can run out of breath and be less effective in a fight.\\n\", \"Do you best to stay upright while you’re fighting. If you get knocked down, protect your head as much as possible to avoid getting hurt more.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t start a fight unless you absolutely need to. Fist fights can get you in trouble with law enforcement if they’re done for reasons outside of self-defense. Always try to call for help or get away if you’re able.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,766 | How to Be Good at Geography | 1. Reading
1-1. Read.
You can spend enjoyable hours browsing through encyclopedias, all the while picking up tips ranging from the names of world capitals to an understanding of how a river system affects a particular country. Sets are a dime a dozen these days, so if you are willing to pick up one which is a few years old, these can often be found at a thrift store, or if not, you can always check your local library.
Read books about countries, landmarks, oceans and weather as these are extremely important in Geography.
Don't read hard books at the start, read children's and teenager's books to gradually build up your knowledge.
1-2. Get a subscription to a weekly newspaper or news magazine.
In reading one or two articles a week, you will learn about cultures and follow the news. This will help you remember the general locations of places. If a country is having trouble with tidal flooding, for example, it is probably located on a coast.
1-3. Visit your local library often and read articles from such magazines as National Geographic.
This publication offers in-depth information with engrossing photography.
2. Using maps
2-1. Gaze at maps.
Get yourself a good atlas. Some of the larger bookstore chains offer quality atlases for reasonable prices. Whether you want to memorize the countries or just familiarize yourself with the major mountain chains, maps are a good place to start.
2-2. Post a world map on your wall and refer to it whenever a geographical question occurs to you.
If your mom tells you that you have a cousin in Mumbai, go to the map and see just where that is. If there has just been a 6.5 earthquake in Hawaii, check the map to find the location of the epicenter. Locating places in this way will help them stick in your mind.
2-3. Study flags and country locations.
2-4. Test yourself or ask a friend to question you.
To make it trickier, test yourself on population amounts and capitals.
3. Using other activities
3-1. Watch TV.
Information about cities, cultures, and populations can be found on shows like Jeopardy, The Weather Channel, CNN, the BBC, or your local news. Watch the listings coming up for the Travel Channel, the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, and don't forget public TV.
3-2. Play games based upon names of countries or towns.
Suppose you say "California". "California" ends with the letter "A", then your friend says the name of a place which starts with "A". Say "Amsterdam" (the Dutch capital city). Then you say the name of some place which starts with "M". Say "Mexico" and so on... This way you can have fun and at the same time you will learn from others too!
3-3. Make and eat food from other cultures.
Try sampling foreign cuisine.
3-4. Study another language as this is also good for geography.
4. Having international experiences
4-1. Travel.
Even traveling locally can help expand your understanding of how geography has shaped the world. For example, if you visit a historic town nearby, you may learn at a museum or visitor's center just which geographical features enticed the town leaders to build there.
When you are traveling to other places, you can learn about agriculture and which kinds of crops and fruits are grown in season.
4-2. Get an email pal or pen pal.
Regular correspondence with a friend living overseas can expand your knowledge beyond what you can learn from books.
Tips
Country names and borders change often, especially in eastern Europe, Africa, and southeastern Asia. If your maps are old, get new ones.
Study and ask questions.
A fun way to learn geography is to peel the sticker off of the fruit you buy in the grocery store and then place it on the corresponding country.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reading\\n1-1. Read.\\nYou can spend enjoyable hours browsing through encyclopedias, all the while picking up tips ranging from the names of world capitals to an understanding of how a river system affects a particular country. Sets are a dime a dozen these days, so if you are willing to pick up one which is a few years old, these can often be found at a thrift store, or if not, you can always check your local library.\\nRead books about countries, landmarks, oceans and weather as these are extremely important in Geography.\\nDon't read hard books at the start, read children's and teenager's books to gradually build up your knowledge.\\n1-2. Get a subscription to a weekly newspaper or news magazine.\\nIn reading one or two articles a week, you will learn about cultures and follow the news. This will help you remember the general locations of places. If a country is having trouble with tidal flooding, for example, it is probably located on a coast.\\n1-3. Visit your local library often and read articles from such magazines as National Geographic.\\nThis publication offers in-depth information with engrossing photography.\\n2. Using maps\\n2-1. Gaze at maps.\\nGet yourself a good atlas. Some of the larger bookstore chains offer quality atlases for reasonable prices. Whether you want to memorize the countries or just familiarize yourself with the major mountain chains, maps are a good place to start.\\n2-2. Post a world map on your wall and refer to it whenever a geographical question occurs to you.\\nIf your mom tells you that you have a cousin in Mumbai, go to the map and see just where that is. If there has just been a 6.5 earthquake in Hawaii, check the map to find the location of the epicenter. Locating places in this way will help them stick in your mind.\\n2-3. Study flags and country locations.\\n\\n2-4. Test yourself or ask a friend to question you.\\nTo make it trickier, test yourself on population amounts and capitals.\\n3. Using other activities\\n3-1. Watch TV.\\nInformation about cities, cultures, and populations can be found on shows like Jeopardy, The Weather Channel, CNN, the BBC, or your local news. Watch the listings coming up for the Travel Channel, the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, and don't forget public TV.\\n3-2. Play games based upon names of countries or towns.\\nSuppose you say \\\"California\\\". \\\"California\\\" ends with the letter \\\"A\\\", then your friend says the name of a place which starts with \\\"A\\\". Say \\\"Amsterdam\\\" (the Dutch capital city). Then you say the name of some place which starts with \\\"M\\\". Say \\\"Mexico\\\" and so on... This way you can have fun and at the same time you will learn from others too!\\n3-3. Make and eat food from other cultures.\\nTry sampling foreign cuisine.\\n3-4. Study another language as this is also good for geography.\\n\\n4. Having international experiences\\n4-1. Travel.\\nEven traveling locally can help expand your understanding of how geography has shaped the world. For example, if you visit a historic town nearby, you may learn at a museum or visitor's center just which geographical features enticed the town leaders to build there.\\nWhen you are traveling to other places, you can learn about agriculture and which kinds of crops and fruits are grown in season.\\n4-2. Get an email pal or pen pal.\\nRegular correspondence with a friend living overseas can expand your knowledge beyond what you can learn from books.\\nTips\\nCountry names and borders change often, especially in eastern Europe, Africa, and southeastern Asia. If your maps are old, get new ones.\\nStudy and ask questions.\\nA fun way to learn geography is to peel the sticker off of the fruit you buy in the grocery store and then place it on the corresponding country.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being good at geography is a useful and desirable skill, as well as fascinating in its own right. Here's how to immerse yourself in geographical information so that you can't help but become a master.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reading\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read.\", \"描述\": \"You can spend enjoyable hours browsing through encyclopedias, all the while picking up tips ranging from the names of world capitals to an understanding of how a river system affects a particular country. Sets are a dime a dozen these days, so if you are willing to pick up one which is a few years old, these can often be found at a thrift store, or if not, you can always check your local library.\\nRead books about countries, landmarks, oceans and weather as these are extremely important in Geography.\\nDon't read hard books at the start, read children's and teenager's books to gradually build up your knowledge.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a subscription to a weekly newspaper or news magazine.\", \"描述\": \"In reading one or two articles a week, you will learn about cultures and follow the news. This will help you remember the general locations of places. If a country is having trouble with tidal flooding, for example, it is probably located on a coast.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visit your local library often and read articles from such magazines as National Geographic.\", \"描述\": \"This publication offers in-depth information with engrossing photography.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using maps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gaze at maps.\", \"描述\": \"Get yourself a good atlas. Some of the larger bookstore chains offer quality atlases for reasonable prices. Whether you want to memorize the countries or just familiarize yourself with the major mountain chains, maps are a good place to start.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Post a world map on your wall and refer to it whenever a geographical question occurs to you.\", \"描述\": \"If your mom tells you that you have a cousin in Mumbai, go to the map and see just where that is. If there has just been a 6.5 earthquake in Hawaii, check the map to find the location of the epicenter. Locating places in this way will help them stick in your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Study flags and country locations.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Test yourself or ask a friend to question you.\", \"描述\": \"To make it trickier, test yourself on population amounts and capitals.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using other activities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch TV.\", \"描述\": \"Information about cities, cultures, and populations can be found on shows like Jeopardy, The Weather Channel, CNN, the BBC, or your local news. Watch the listings coming up for the Travel Channel, the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, and don't forget public TV.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play games based upon names of countries or towns.\", \"描述\": \"Suppose you say \\\"California\\\". \\\"California\\\" ends with the letter \\\"A\\\", then your friend says the name of a place which starts with \\\"A\\\". Say \\\"Amsterdam\\\" (the Dutch capital city). Then you say the name of some place which starts with \\\"M\\\". Say \\\"Mexico\\\" and so on... This way you can have fun and at the same time you will learn from others too!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make and eat food from other cultures.\", \"描述\": \"Try sampling foreign cuisine.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Study another language as this is also good for geography.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Having international experiences\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Travel.\", \"描述\": \"Even traveling locally can help expand your understanding of how geography has shaped the world. For example, if you visit a historic town nearby, you may learn at a museum or visitor's center just which geographical features enticed the town leaders to build there.\\nWhen you are traveling to other places, you can learn about agriculture and which kinds of crops and fruits are grown in season.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get an email pal or pen pal.\", \"描述\": \"Regular correspondence with a friend living overseas can expand your knowledge beyond what you can learn from books.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Country names and borders change often, especially in eastern Europe, Africa, and southeastern Asia. If your maps are old, get new ones.\\n\", \"Study and ask questions.\\n\", \"A fun way to learn geography is to peel the sticker off of the fruit you buy in the grocery store and then place it on the corresponding country.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,767 | How to Be Good at Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas | 1. Stat Maxing
1-1. Start with stamina.
Unlike other GTA games, San Andreas' protagonist, Carl “CJ” Johnson has a wide array of stats that can be altered by player's choices. With high stats, missions get significantly easier; with low stats, they can become next to impossible. Start with the easiest and cheapest stat to train, stamina. Every in-game day, spend some time sprinting Carl around until he gets tired. Other ways to improve stamina include riding a bicycle and swimming.
The gyms also provide exercise equipment for quickly and efficiently improving CJ's stamina and other physical stats. Try the treadmill and the exercise bike.
You can get stamina as high as you want with no ill effects. Eventually, once you complete the optional “Burglar” mission (by stealing a total of $10,000 worth of goods from houses), Carl will be granted functionally infinite stamina; before then, training it will save his life in police chases and other tricky, fast-paced situations.
1-2. Build other physical stats.
In addition to stamina, CJ has muscle mass and body fat whose percentages can be altered by working out. To build muscle mass, lift weights at the gym. You're aiming for a rating of around 75-85% to maximize physical strength without sacrificing speed or agility. Body fat can be lowered to about 5% with no ill effects; get rid of it completely, and CJ may lose muscle mass during strenuous physical activity. All exercise decreases fat over time.
You may also want to build up CJ's lung capacity, allowing him to stay underwater for longer periods of time. Lung capacity can be trained by swimming underwater until the last second and then resurfacing for air. Finding oysters on the ocean floor also has a minor effect on it, and after collecting all fifty hidden oysters, lung capacity is removed altogether and you can stay underwater for as long as you wish. Lung capacity isn't exceptionally useful except in a few scenarios.
Don't forget to eat properly as you train. Eating most foods will cause CJ to gain some fat, but food is also very important to building stamina and muscle mass. Whenever you eat, if your body fat is above about 3%, order a salad, as it's the only food that doesn't add fat. If you're practically out of fat, eat anything else to gain it back (up to 3% per meal), then work it back down to around 5% before each mission.
1-3. Master vehicle stats.
In between training Carl's body, spend time driving or piloting every vehicle you can get your hands on. There are four vehicle stats: bicycles, motorcycles, cars, and aircraft. The only way to train any of them is to drive any vehicle of the appropriate category. As CJ's skill level increases, vehicles begin to handle better in terms of turning, braking, and general stability. High skill with motorcycles and bicycles also gives Carl a better chance to avoid being knocked off when you've collided a car.
Mastering vehicle stats takes a fair amount of time. Just keep at it steadily and space out your vehicle training with other types of training sessions.
1-4. Become a weapons master.
CJ's weapon skills are trainable just like his vehicle skills; unfortunately, as opposed to those, there's a separate skill gauge for nearly every individual weapon. Weapon skills are trained by shooting people or vehicles, and range from “Poor” to “Hitman.” At the Hitman level, CJ can dual wield some weapons, including sawn-off shotguns, pistols, and machine pistols (the Micro-Uzi and the Tec-9).
Some weapons can't be trained. These include thrown weapons like grenades, sniper rifles, all melee weapons (baseball bats, spades, etc.), and all heavy weapons, such as the rocket launcher. CJ will deal more damage with a melee weapon if his muscle mass is high.
It can be difficult to safely train CJ's weapon skills, since shooting people will get you into trouble with the police in short order, and shooting vehicles only counts until the vehicles are destroyed (at which point they explode). Try shooting from nearby a save point or change of clothes, both of which will reduce your wanted level when used.
2. Strategies and Methods
2-1. Raise your respect level.
Respect is another stat that can be raised in GTA San Andreas, but unlike most of the stats listed above, it's next to impossible to raise it significantly from the beginning of the game. The higher your respect level, the more members of the Grove Street Families gang you can recruit to help you with missions. Having a posse alongside you can make many missions significantly easier than they would be otherwise, so it pays to build a lot of respect.
Respect is gained in the normal course of the game by completing certain missions. You can also increase respect passively by making sure CJ wears green, the color of his gang, whenever he's inside Grove Street Families territory.
Conquering another gang's territory and annexing it (by starting and winning a gang war, which essentially involves killing a whole bunch of gang members) will raise CJ's respect by a whole bunch (about 30%). Tagging over another gang's graffiti grants a small increase.
Killing drug dealers, police officers, and members of rival gangs grants slight increases to respect. Killing your own gang members, or letting them die, reduces respect.
2-2. Save up money.
Fairly early on in the game, it's possible to start making a decent amount of money if you put your mind to it. Missions provide a good amount, of course; citizens can also be killed for their cash. Eventually, CJ can purchase businesses to provide him with regular income, but until that point, saving your money whenever you can afford to will grant you significant advantages later.
Drug dealers not only grant you respect when killed; they're also a great source of money. They tend to be short-tempered and well-armed, but if you snag a heavy vehicle like a semi-truck and flatten them, they won't have much of a chance to fight back. You can also use sniper bullets to waste them from a distance.
Getting busted or wasted will cost you money. If you save regularly, you can just reload the game instead and avoid the costly medical bills, although they aren't really that high. Another hidden cost of getting wasted or busted is the loss of all your weapons. If you've managed to collect a nice little arsenal, consider reloading to save yourself the cost and trouble of acquiring your guns again.
If you really want to game the system, save the game, then bet everything you have at an "Inside Track" betting shop. If you lose, reload and try again until you win. Each time you win, you'll multiply your money by a significant factor, and soon end up with more than you even knew you wanted.
This type of trick is commonly known as “save scumming.” It's effective, but many people consider it to be not in the spirit of the game, since it provides near-instant gratification with no immersion in the game world required. Set aside an extra save before you take advantage of it, just in case you find that the rest of the game's money missions become dull and lacklustre afterwards.
2-3. Complete the training side-missions.
There are a few basic types of side-mission you can activate by appropriating specific vehicles. Paramedic missions activate from an ambulance, vigilante missions activate from a police or military vehicle, and taxi missions activate from a taxi. There are a set number of missions available for each type of vehicle; complete them all and you'll be granted some very useful ability bonuses.
Completing the level 12 Firefighter missions makes CJ fireproof.
Completing the level 12 Paramedic missions gives CJ the maximum possible health.
Completing the level 12 Vigilante missions increases CJ's maximum body armor rating to 150%.
Completing 50 fares in a taxi allows all taxis to make unlimited jumps and nitrous boosts.
2-4. Find special items.
Like most GTA games, San Andreas is full of hidden items, scattered all across the state. If you manage to find all of a certain type of item, you'll be rewarded with multiple weapon spawn points, as well as money in some cases.
Tags are graffiti tag spots that CJ can mark with the Grove Street Families tag. Tag all 100 tag spots to unlock several weapon spawns at his house on Grove Street.
Horseshoes are just what they sound like. Collect all fifty of them to give CJ a much higher chance of winning when gambling, and spawn some powerful weapons at the Four Dragons Casino.
Snapshots are photo opportunities scattered around the City of San Fierro and nowhere else. Snap all 50 of them to earn a bit over $100,000 and some new weapon drops at the Doherty Garage.
2-5. Collect useful vehicles.
As long as you have garage space (more space can be acquired by purchasing additional properties), you can store vehicles for later use. At times, especially useful and/or hard-to-find vehicles will be available to snag and store. Having these special vehicles can make difficult later missions significantly easier.
Look for armored vehicles. The most obvious of these is the Rhino armored tank, which can be carjacked from Area 69 and stored in a garage for later use. Getting the Rhino home isn't exactly easy, but if you can manage it, once it's in your garage you can keep it.
“Mission jack” super vehicles. There are many amazingly durable vehicles you can only use during missions. By failing these missions (usually by killing the mission boss or destroying the wrong vehicle), you'll be left with a locked version of the super car. You can push or drag the dead car into a garage to restore its functionality.
Grab a Monster. The appropriately named monster truck of GTA San Andreas has ludicrously high clearance, and can simply drive over the top of most other cars, making it useful in some races and chase missions. Its excellent suspension and high clearance also make it ideal for off-road endeavors. You can sometimes find one at a spawn point in the trailer park near the Flint Intersection in Flint County.
Save a tow truck. Having a tow truck on hand will allow you to mission jack many special vehicles by dragging the car back to a garage after you fail the mission. It's also useful for returning destroyed vehicles you'd previously stored back to their garage spaces, restoring them once again.
2-6. Think laterally.
There are many missions you have to approach one way only, but there are many you can be creative with, as well. Don't hesitate to take a helicopter to a shootout mission and land on a nearby roof to snipe enemies, or defeat a barricade by accelerating a heavy car to ramming speed and then jumping out of it as it hurtles forward, snagging a smaller and faster car to follow through once the blockade has been destroyed.
If you can't make things work one way, keep retrying the mission from different angles, and with different weapons and vehicles. Never give up, and you'll eventually find a way to pass the mission.
Tips
After you spray all the tags in Los Santos, 4 weapons will be available in the Johnson house: a Sawn-Off Shotgun, a Tec-9, an AK-47, and a Molotov Cocktail.
Shoot objects to increase your weapon skills.
Enter gang wars. This increases weapon skill and gains respect, money and territory.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Stat Maxing\\n1-1. Start with stamina.\\nUnlike other GTA games, San Andreas' protagonist, Carl “CJ” Johnson has a wide array of stats that can be altered by player's choices. With high stats, missions get significantly easier; with low stats, they can become next to impossible. Start with the easiest and cheapest stat to train, stamina. Every in-game day, spend some time sprinting Carl around until he gets tired. Other ways to improve stamina include riding a bicycle and swimming.\\nThe gyms also provide exercise equipment for quickly and efficiently improving CJ's stamina and other physical stats. Try the treadmill and the exercise bike.\\nYou can get stamina as high as you want with no ill effects. Eventually, once you complete the optional “Burglar” mission (by stealing a total of $10,000 worth of goods from houses), Carl will be granted functionally infinite stamina; before then, training it will save his life in police chases and other tricky, fast-paced situations.\\n1-2. Build other physical stats.\\nIn addition to stamina, CJ has muscle mass and body fat whose percentages can be altered by working out. To build muscle mass, lift weights at the gym. You're aiming for a rating of around 75-85% to maximize physical strength without sacrificing speed or agility. Body fat can be lowered to about 5% with no ill effects; get rid of it completely, and CJ may lose muscle mass during strenuous physical activity. All exercise decreases fat over time.\\nYou may also want to build up CJ's lung capacity, allowing him to stay underwater for longer periods of time. Lung capacity can be trained by swimming underwater until the last second and then resurfacing for air. Finding oysters on the ocean floor also has a minor effect on it, and after collecting all fifty hidden oysters, lung capacity is removed altogether and you can stay underwater for as long as you wish. Lung capacity isn't exceptionally useful except in a few scenarios.\\nDon't forget to eat properly as you train. Eating most foods will cause CJ to gain some fat, but food is also very important to building stamina and muscle mass. Whenever you eat, if your body fat is above about 3%, order a salad, as it's the only food that doesn't add fat. If you're practically out of fat, eat anything else to gain it back (up to 3% per meal), then work it back down to around 5% before each mission.\\n1-3. Master vehicle stats.\\nIn between training Carl's body, spend time driving or piloting every vehicle you can get your hands on. There are four vehicle stats: bicycles, motorcycles, cars, and aircraft. The only way to train any of them is to drive any vehicle of the appropriate category. As CJ's skill level increases, vehicles begin to handle better in terms of turning, braking, and general stability. High skill with motorcycles and bicycles also gives Carl a better chance to avoid being knocked off when you've collided a car.\\nMastering vehicle stats takes a fair amount of time. Just keep at it steadily and space out your vehicle training with other types of training sessions.\\n1-4. Become a weapons master.\\nCJ's weapon skills are trainable just like his vehicle skills; unfortunately, as opposed to those, there's a separate skill gauge for nearly every individual weapon. Weapon skills are trained by shooting people or vehicles, and range from “Poor” to “Hitman.” At the Hitman level, CJ can dual wield some weapons, including sawn-off shotguns, pistols, and machine pistols (the Micro-Uzi and the Tec-9).\\nSome weapons can't be trained. These include thrown weapons like grenades, sniper rifles, all melee weapons (baseball bats, spades, etc.), and all heavy weapons, such as the rocket launcher. CJ will deal more damage with a melee weapon if his muscle mass is high.\\nIt can be difficult to safely train CJ's weapon skills, since shooting people will get you into trouble with the police in short order, and shooting vehicles only counts until the vehicles are destroyed (at which point they explode). Try shooting from nearby a save point or change of clothes, both of which will reduce your wanted level when used.\\n2. Strategies and Methods\\n2-1. Raise your respect level.\\nRespect is another stat that can be raised in GTA San Andreas, but unlike most of the stats listed above, it's next to impossible to raise it significantly from the beginning of the game. The higher your respect level, the more members of the Grove Street Families gang you can recruit to help you with missions. Having a posse alongside you can make many missions significantly easier than they would be otherwise, so it pays to build a lot of respect.\\nRespect is gained in the normal course of the game by completing certain missions. You can also increase respect passively by making sure CJ wears green, the color of his gang, whenever he's inside Grove Street Families territory.\\nConquering another gang's territory and annexing it (by starting and winning a gang war, which essentially involves killing a whole bunch of gang members) will raise CJ's respect by a whole bunch (about 30%). Tagging over another gang's graffiti grants a small increase.\\nKilling drug dealers, police officers, and members of rival gangs grants slight increases to respect. Killing your own gang members, or letting them die, reduces respect.\\n2-2. Save up money.\\nFairly early on in the game, it's possible to start making a decent amount of money if you put your mind to it. Missions provide a good amount, of course; citizens can also be killed for their cash. Eventually, CJ can purchase businesses to provide him with regular income, but until that point, saving your money whenever you can afford to will grant you significant advantages later.\\nDrug dealers not only grant you respect when killed; they're also a great source of money. They tend to be short-tempered and well-armed, but if you snag a heavy vehicle like a semi-truck and flatten them, they won't have much of a chance to fight back. You can also use sniper bullets to waste them from a distance.\\nGetting busted or wasted will cost you money. If you save regularly, you can just reload the game instead and avoid the costly medical bills, although they aren't really that high. Another hidden cost of getting wasted or busted is the loss of all your weapons. If you've managed to collect a nice little arsenal, consider reloading to save yourself the cost and trouble of acquiring your guns again.\\nIf you really want to game the system, save the game, then bet everything you have at an \\\"Inside Track\\\" betting shop. If you lose, reload and try again until you win. Each time you win, you'll multiply your money by a significant factor, and soon end up with more than you even knew you wanted.\\nThis type of trick is commonly known as “save scumming.” It's effective, but many people consider it to be not in the spirit of the game, since it provides near-instant gratification with no immersion in the game world required. Set aside an extra save before you take advantage of it, just in case you find that the rest of the game's money missions become dull and lacklustre afterwards.\\n2-3. Complete the training side-missions.\\nThere are a few basic types of side-mission you can activate by appropriating specific vehicles. Paramedic missions activate from an ambulance, vigilante missions activate from a police or military vehicle, and taxi missions activate from a taxi. There are a set number of missions available for each type of vehicle; complete them all and you'll be granted some very useful ability bonuses.\\nCompleting the level 12 Firefighter missions makes CJ fireproof.\\nCompleting the level 12 Paramedic missions gives CJ the maximum possible health.\\nCompleting the level 12 Vigilante missions increases CJ's maximum body armor rating to 150%.\\nCompleting 50 fares in a taxi allows all taxis to make unlimited jumps and nitrous boosts.\\n2-4. Find special items.\\nLike most GTA games, San Andreas is full of hidden items, scattered all across the state. If you manage to find all of a certain type of item, you'll be rewarded with multiple weapon spawn points, as well as money in some cases.\\nTags are graffiti tag spots that CJ can mark with the Grove Street Families tag. Tag all 100 tag spots to unlock several weapon spawns at his house on Grove Street.\\nHorseshoes are just what they sound like. Collect all fifty of them to give CJ a much higher chance of winning when gambling, and spawn some powerful weapons at the Four Dragons Casino.\\nSnapshots are photo opportunities scattered around the City of San Fierro and nowhere else. Snap all 50 of them to earn a bit over $100,000 and some new weapon drops at the Doherty Garage.\\n2-5. Collect useful vehicles.\\nAs long as you have garage space (more space can be acquired by purchasing additional properties), you can store vehicles for later use. At times, especially useful and/or hard-to-find vehicles will be available to snag and store. Having these special vehicles can make difficult later missions significantly easier.\\nLook for armored vehicles. The most obvious of these is the Rhino armored tank, which can be carjacked from Area 69 and stored in a garage for later use. Getting the Rhino home isn't exactly easy, but if you can manage it, once it's in your garage you can keep it.\\n“Mission jack” super vehicles. There are many amazingly durable vehicles you can only use during missions. By failing these missions (usually by killing the mission boss or destroying the wrong vehicle), you'll be left with a locked version of the super car. You can push or drag the dead car into a garage to restore its functionality.\\nGrab a Monster. The appropriately named monster truck of GTA San Andreas has ludicrously high clearance, and can simply drive over the top of most other cars, making it useful in some races and chase missions. Its excellent suspension and high clearance also make it ideal for off-road endeavors. You can sometimes find one at a spawn point in the trailer park near the Flint Intersection in Flint County.\\nSave a tow truck. Having a tow truck on hand will allow you to mission jack many special vehicles by dragging the car back to a garage after you fail the mission. It's also useful for returning destroyed vehicles you'd previously stored back to their garage spaces, restoring them once again.\\n2-6. Think laterally.\\nThere are many missions you have to approach one way only, but there are many you can be creative with, as well. Don't hesitate to take a helicopter to a shootout mission and land on a nearby roof to snipe enemies, or defeat a barricade by accelerating a heavy car to ramming speed and then jumping out of it as it hurtles forward, snagging a smaller and faster car to follow through once the blockade has been destroyed.\\nIf you can't make things work one way, keep retrying the mission from different angles, and with different weapons and vehicles. Never give up, and you'll eventually find a way to pass the mission.\\nTips\\nAfter you spray all the tags in Los Santos, 4 weapons will be available in the Johnson house: a Sawn-Off Shotgun, a Tec-9, an AK-47, and a Molotov Cocktail.\\nShoot objects to increase your weapon skills.\\nEnter gang wars. This increases weapon skill and gains respect, money and territory.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas was the last GTA game to be released for the original Xbox console while Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories was the last game in the GTA Series to be released for the Playstation 2. It's a huge and complex game that can be overwhelming and frustrating without the right strategy. Read the steps below to learn how to give yourself the advantage and beat the game with flying colors.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stat Maxing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with stamina.\", \"描述\": \"Unlike other GTA games, San Andreas' protagonist, Carl “CJ” Johnson has a wide array of stats that can be altered by player's choices. With high stats, missions get significantly easier; with low stats, they can become next to impossible. Start with the easiest and cheapest stat to train, stamina. Every in-game day, spend some time sprinting Carl around until he gets tired. Other ways to improve stamina include riding a bicycle and swimming.\\nThe gyms also provide exercise equipment for quickly and efficiently improving CJ's stamina and other physical stats. Try the treadmill and the exercise bike.\\nYou can get stamina as high as you want with no ill effects. Eventually, once you complete the optional “Burglar” mission (by stealing a total of $10,000 worth of goods from houses), Carl will be granted functionally infinite stamina; before then, training it will save his life in police chases and other tricky, fast-paced situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build other physical stats.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to stamina, CJ has muscle mass and body fat whose percentages can be altered by working out. To build muscle mass, lift weights at the gym. You're aiming for a rating of around 75-85% to maximize physical strength without sacrificing speed or agility. Body fat can be lowered to about 5% with no ill effects; get rid of it completely, and CJ may lose muscle mass during strenuous physical activity. All exercise decreases fat over time.\\nYou may also want to build up CJ's lung capacity, allowing him to stay underwater for longer periods of time. Lung capacity can be trained by swimming underwater until the last second and then resurfacing for air. Finding oysters on the ocean floor also has a minor effect on it, and after collecting all fifty hidden oysters, lung capacity is removed altogether and you can stay underwater for as long as you wish. Lung capacity isn't exceptionally useful except in a few scenarios.\\nDon't forget to eat properly as you train. Eating most foods will cause CJ to gain some fat, but food is also very important to building stamina and muscle mass. Whenever you eat, if your body fat is above about 3%, order a salad, as it's the only food that doesn't add fat. If you're practically out of fat, eat anything else to gain it back (up to 3% per meal), then work it back down to around 5% before each mission.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Master vehicle stats.\", \"描述\": \"In between training Carl's body, spend time driving or piloting every vehicle you can get your hands on. There are four vehicle stats: bicycles, motorcycles, cars, and aircraft. The only way to train any of them is to drive any vehicle of the appropriate category. As CJ's skill level increases, vehicles begin to handle better in terms of turning, braking, and general stability. High skill with motorcycles and bicycles also gives Carl a better chance to avoid being knocked off when you've collided a car.\\nMastering vehicle stats takes a fair amount of time. Just keep at it steadily and space out your vehicle training with other types of training sessions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Become a weapons master.\", \"描述\": \"CJ's weapon skills are trainable just like his vehicle skills; unfortunately, as opposed to those, there's a separate skill gauge for nearly every individual weapon. Weapon skills are trained by shooting people or vehicles, and range from “Poor” to “Hitman.” At the Hitman level, CJ can dual wield some weapons, including sawn-off shotguns, pistols, and machine pistols (the Micro-Uzi and the Tec-9).\\nSome weapons can't be trained. These include thrown weapons like grenades, sniper rifles, all melee weapons (baseball bats, spades, etc.), and all heavy weapons, such as the rocket launcher. CJ will deal more damage with a melee weapon if his muscle mass is high.\\nIt can be difficult to safely train CJ's weapon skills, since shooting people will get you into trouble with the police in short order, and shooting vehicles only counts until the vehicles are destroyed (at which point they explode). Try shooting from nearby a save point or change of clothes, both of which will reduce your wanted level when used.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strategies and Methods\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Raise your respect level.\", \"描述\": \"Respect is another stat that can be raised in GTA San Andreas, but unlike most of the stats listed above, it's next to impossible to raise it significantly from the beginning of the game. The higher your respect level, the more members of the Grove Street Families gang you can recruit to help you with missions. Having a posse alongside you can make many missions significantly easier than they would be otherwise, so it pays to build a lot of respect.\\nRespect is gained in the normal course of the game by completing certain missions. You can also increase respect passively by making sure CJ wears green, the color of his gang, whenever he's inside Grove Street Families territory.\\nConquering another gang's territory and annexing it (by starting and winning a gang war, which essentially involves killing a whole bunch of gang members) will raise CJ's respect by a whole bunch (about 30%). Tagging over another gang's graffiti grants a small increase.\\nKilling drug dealers, police officers, and members of rival gangs grants slight increases to respect. Killing your own gang members, or letting them die, reduces respect.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Save up money.\", \"描述\": \"Fairly early on in the game, it's possible to start making a decent amount of money if you put your mind to it. Missions provide a good amount, of course; citizens can also be killed for their cash. Eventually, CJ can purchase businesses to provide him with regular income, but until that point, saving your money whenever you can afford to will grant you significant advantages later.\\nDrug dealers not only grant you respect when killed; they're also a great source of money. They tend to be short-tempered and well-armed, but if you snag a heavy vehicle like a semi-truck and flatten them, they won't have much of a chance to fight back. You can also use sniper bullets to waste them from a distance.\\nGetting busted or wasted will cost you money. If you save regularly, you can just reload the game instead and avoid the costly medical bills, although they aren't really that high. Another hidden cost of getting wasted or busted is the loss of all your weapons. If you've managed to collect a nice little arsenal, consider reloading to save yourself the cost and trouble of acquiring your guns again.\\nIf you really want to game the system, save the game, then bet everything you have at an \\\"Inside Track\\\" betting shop. If you lose, reload and try again until you win. Each time you win, you'll multiply your money by a significant factor, and soon end up with more than you even knew you wanted.\\nThis type of trick is commonly known as “save scumming.” It's effective, but many people consider it to be not in the spirit of the game, since it provides near-instant gratification with no immersion in the game world required. Set aside an extra save before you take advantage of it, just in case you find that the rest of the game's money missions become dull and lacklustre afterwards.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Complete the training side-missions.\", \"描述\": \"There are a few basic types of side-mission you can activate by appropriating specific vehicles. Paramedic missions activate from an ambulance, vigilante missions activate from a police or military vehicle, and taxi missions activate from a taxi. There are a set number of missions available for each type of vehicle; complete them all and you'll be granted some very useful ability bonuses.\\nCompleting the level 12 Firefighter missions makes CJ fireproof.\\nCompleting the level 12 Paramedic missions gives CJ the maximum possible health.\\nCompleting the level 12 Vigilante missions increases CJ's maximum body armor rating to 150%.\\nCompleting 50 fares in a taxi allows all taxis to make unlimited jumps and nitrous boosts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find special items.\", \"描述\": \"Like most GTA games, San Andreas is full of hidden items, scattered all across the state. If you manage to find all of a certain type of item, you'll be rewarded with multiple weapon spawn points, as well as money in some cases.\\nTags are graffiti tag spots that CJ can mark with the Grove Street Families tag. Tag all 100 tag spots to unlock several weapon spawns at his house on Grove Street.\\nHorseshoes are just what they sound like. Collect all fifty of them to give CJ a much higher chance of winning when gambling, and spawn some powerful weapons at the Four Dragons Casino.\\nSnapshots are photo opportunities scattered around the City of San Fierro and nowhere else. Snap all 50 of them to earn a bit over $100,000 and some new weapon drops at the Doherty Garage.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Collect useful vehicles.\", \"描述\": \"As long as you have garage space (more space can be acquired by purchasing additional properties), you can store vehicles for later use. At times, especially useful and/or hard-to-find vehicles will be available to snag and store. Having these special vehicles can make difficult later missions significantly easier.\\nLook for armored vehicles. The most obvious of these is the Rhino armored tank, which can be carjacked from Area 69 and stored in a garage for later use. Getting the Rhino home isn't exactly easy, but if you can manage it, once it's in your garage you can keep it.\\n“Mission jack” super vehicles. There are many amazingly durable vehicles you can only use during missions. By failing these missions (usually by killing the mission boss or destroying the wrong vehicle), you'll be left with a locked version of the super car. You can push or drag the dead car into a garage to restore its functionality.\\nGrab a Monster. The appropriately named monster truck of GTA San Andreas has ludicrously high clearance, and can simply drive over the top of most other cars, making it useful in some races and chase missions. Its excellent suspension and high clearance also make it ideal for off-road endeavors. You can sometimes find one at a spawn point in the trailer park near the Flint Intersection in Flint County.\\nSave a tow truck. Having a tow truck on hand will allow you to mission jack many special vehicles by dragging the car back to a garage after you fail the mission. It's also useful for returning destroyed vehicles you'd previously stored back to their garage spaces, restoring them once again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think laterally.\", \"描述\": \"There are many missions you have to approach one way only, but there are many you can be creative with, as well. Don't hesitate to take a helicopter to a shootout mission and land on a nearby roof to snipe enemies, or defeat a barricade by accelerating a heavy car to ramming speed and then jumping out of it as it hurtles forward, snagging a smaller and faster car to follow through once the blockade has been destroyed.\\nIf you can't make things work one way, keep retrying the mission from different angles, and with different weapons and vehicles. Never give up, and you'll eventually find a way to pass the mission.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"After you spray all the tags in Los Santos, 4 weapons will be available in the Johnson house: a Sawn-Off Shotgun, a Tec-9, an AK-47, and a Molotov Cocktail.\\n\", \"Shoot objects to increase your weapon skills.\\n\", \"Enter gang wars. This increases weapon skill and gains respect, money and territory.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,768 | How to Be Good at Group Discussion | 1. Arrive prepared.
If at all possible, do your studying ahead of time.
Read any materials that have been distributed. Do any reading that was assigned. If you just have a general idea of the topic, spend some time researching the topic.
In fact, it's a good idea to bring some notes with you, so you have something to refer back to in the discussion, particularly if you have evidence you want to discuss.
2. Get clarification about things you don't understand.
This helps you get the most out of your group discussion.
Sometimes, people may not express themselves as well as they want, or you simply may not hear all of what they say. It's fine to ask for clarification, particularly if you want to provide a counterpoint.
3. Learn from others' experiences.
If you only stick to your beliefs, you’ll have a hard time learning anything new.
One of the benefits of group discussion is it gives you a chance to interact with people you might not normally have a conversation with. That means you have a chance to learn something new and expand your horizons.
When someone presents an idea that takes you aback, think a moment before responding. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes to see where they're coming from.
If you don't understand something, ask a follow-up question. The other person will likely appreciate that you are interested in what they have to say.
4. Speak up when you have an opinion.
A group discussion should involve everyone in the group, including yourself.
When you have an opinion or a fact that's relevant to what's being said, jump in and voice what you have to say.
If you're a little shy, try getting the leader's attention so you have a chance to speak.
You can also ask questions to encourage discussion.
5. Back up what you have to say.
Backing up your statements helps you look credible.
With this in mind, make sure you have evidence or research to back up what you say. Of course, that evidence could be your experience, but you do need to be able to explain why you are presenting a certain side.
6. Stay on task.
It’s easy for group discussions to go off on a tangent.
In fact, it can be a lot of fun. However, try to stay focused on the discussion at hand, so you and others will get the full benefit of the discussion.
7. Listen to what others have to say.
Being in a group discussion is not just about saying what's on your mind.
It's also about listening to other members in the group. While what you have to say is important, it's also important to let others have their say, as well.
To listen well, don't just be thinking about what you want to say next. Actually hear what the other members are saying.
Try jotting down short notes on what others are saying, so you have them to refer back to.
If you have a good idea, hold onto it until the moment is right to share. Don't cut people off while they're sharing their ideas. It can help to jot down a few words to help remind yourself to share your idea once it's your turn to speak.
8. Disagree on ideas instead of making personal attacks.
Rude remarks won’t get you anywhere.
When a discussion starts getting heated, it can be tempting to start attacking the person. However, you need to stick to discussing ideas to keep the conversation civil.
For instance, you might be tempted to say, "Well, you're stupid for thinking that." However, that will only cause the conversation to spiral downward.
Try, "Can you explain to me why you think that? I disagree, but I'd like to hear more about your side." This sentence will help dialogue continue to flow, and they may make a point that will win you over.
9. Pay attention to your language.
Respect and civility can go a long way in a group discussion.
When making a point, include everyone with your language. Don't use sexist or racist language when speaking up, as it may make others feel excluded.
For instance, try using "Chairperson" instead of "Chairman."
Say "Can I get everyone's attention?" instead of "Ladies and gentlemen, can I get your attention?"
10. Ask questions to initiate discussion.
Open-ended questions can help to get people talking about the subject.
These are ones that require more than a "yes" or "no" answer.
You can ask exploring questions to get a dialogue going, such as "What do you think was meant by 'objectivity versus subjectivity'?"
Challenge questions can get a debate going, such as "What assumptions is the author making? Do you think they're valid assumptions?"
You can also ask questions about relationships, such as "What are the similarities between these two ideas? What are the differences?" Diagnostic questions can be helpful as well, such as "What do you think the author's motive was for this scene?"
11. Encourage each member to speak.
As a leader, it's your job to help all the members in the group have a say.
Some members will be shyer than others, which means you need to create a space for them to speak. For instance, you could go around the group and have each person say what they think, so everyone has a chance to speak.
12. Maintain an awareness of individual emotions.
If you ignore how members are feeling, you could alienate some of the group.
Instead, pay attention to how each member is reacting to what's being said. That includes paying attention to their nonverbal reactions. They may be saying a great deal with their body language.
Take steps to address issues as you notice them.
For instance, if one person gets consistently cut off by another member, you may notice they cross their arms and glare at the other person. Try to mediate the problem by asking what that person thinks, as well as encouraging members to let others finish their thoughts before speaking up.
13. Steer the group away from personal attacks.
Heated discussions can be fine, but hurtful words aren’t.
As the leader, try to make sure everyone stays on point. They should be discussing ideas, not diving into attacks on other people, whether they're attacking people in the group or not.
14. Keep track of what's being said.
That way, you have something everyone can focus on and refer back to.
It's best if you can take notes somewhere where everyone can see, such as on a projection screen or whiteboard. This can also serve as a record of what happened in the group.
If you prefer, you can ask a volunteer to do the note-taking.
15. Get out of the way of a functioning group.
A good leader knows when they’re not needed.
If the group is functioning on its own, try not to interrupt the flow. If the discussion is on task and clipping along at a good speed, try not to stop the flow by interrupting the conversation.
Tips
Stay impartial if you are leading the discussion.
Don't interrupt. Wait for others to finish
If the group gets bogged down, keep the flow going by asking a question or changing directions.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Arrive prepared.\\nIf at all possible, do your studying ahead of time.\\nRead any materials that have been distributed. Do any reading that was assigned. If you just have a general idea of the topic, spend some time researching the topic.\\nIn fact, it's a good idea to bring some notes with you, so you have something to refer back to in the discussion, particularly if you have evidence you want to discuss.\\n2. Get clarification about things you don't understand.\\nThis helps you get the most out of your group discussion.\\nSometimes, people may not express themselves as well as they want, or you simply may not hear all of what they say. It's fine to ask for clarification, particularly if you want to provide a counterpoint.\\n3. Learn from others' experiences.\\nIf you only stick to your beliefs, you’ll have a hard time learning anything new.\\nOne of the benefits of group discussion is it gives you a chance to interact with people you might not normally have a conversation with. That means you have a chance to learn something new and expand your horizons.\\nWhen someone presents an idea that takes you aback, think a moment before responding. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes to see where they're coming from.\\nIf you don't understand something, ask a follow-up question. The other person will likely appreciate that you are interested in what they have to say.\\n4. Speak up when you have an opinion.\\nA group discussion should involve everyone in the group, including yourself.\\nWhen you have an opinion or a fact that's relevant to what's being said, jump in and voice what you have to say.\\nIf you're a little shy, try getting the leader's attention so you have a chance to speak.\\nYou can also ask questions to encourage discussion.\\n5. Back up what you have to say.\\nBacking up your statements helps you look credible.\\nWith this in mind, make sure you have evidence or research to back up what you say. Of course, that evidence could be your experience, but you do need to be able to explain why you are presenting a certain side.\\n6. Stay on task.\\nIt’s easy for group discussions to go off on a tangent.\\nIn fact, it can be a lot of fun. However, try to stay focused on the discussion at hand, so you and others will get the full benefit of the discussion.\\n7. Listen to what others have to say.\\nBeing in a group discussion is not just about saying what's on your mind.\\nIt's also about listening to other members in the group. While what you have to say is important, it's also important to let others have their say, as well.\\nTo listen well, don't just be thinking about what you want to say next. Actually hear what the other members are saying.\\nTry jotting down short notes on what others are saying, so you have them to refer back to.\\nIf you have a good idea, hold onto it until the moment is right to share. Don't cut people off while they're sharing their ideas. It can help to jot down a few words to help remind yourself to share your idea once it's your turn to speak.\\n8. Disagree on ideas instead of making personal attacks.\\nRude remarks won’t get you anywhere.\\nWhen a discussion starts getting heated, it can be tempting to start attacking the person. However, you need to stick to discussing ideas to keep the conversation civil.\\nFor instance, you might be tempted to say, \\\"Well, you're stupid for thinking that.\\\" However, that will only cause the conversation to spiral downward.\\nTry, \\\"Can you explain to me why you think that? I disagree, but I'd like to hear more about your side.\\\" This sentence will help dialogue continue to flow, and they may make a point that will win you over.\\n9. Pay attention to your language.\\nRespect and civility can go a long way in a group discussion.\\nWhen making a point, include everyone with your language. Don't use sexist or racist language when speaking up, as it may make others feel excluded.\\nFor instance, try using \\\"Chairperson\\\" instead of \\\"Chairman.\\\"\\nSay \\\"Can I get everyone's attention?\\\" instead of \\\"Ladies and gentlemen, can I get your attention?\\\"\\n10. Ask questions to initiate discussion.\\nOpen-ended questions can help to get people talking about the subject.\\nThese are ones that require more than a \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" answer.\\nYou can ask exploring questions to get a dialogue going, such as \\\"What do you think was meant by 'objectivity versus subjectivity'?\\\"\\nChallenge questions can get a debate going, such as \\\"What assumptions is the author making? Do you think they're valid assumptions?\\\"\\nYou can also ask questions about relationships, such as \\\"What are the similarities between these two ideas? What are the differences?\\\" Diagnostic questions can be helpful as well, such as \\\"What do you think the author's motive was for this scene?\\\"\\n11. Encourage each member to speak.\\nAs a leader, it's your job to help all the members in the group have a say.\\nSome members will be shyer than others, which means you need to create a space for them to speak. For instance, you could go around the group and have each person say what they think, so everyone has a chance to speak.\\n12. Maintain an awareness of individual emotions.\\nIf you ignore how members are feeling, you could alienate some of the group.\\nInstead, pay attention to how each member is reacting to what's being said. That includes paying attention to their nonverbal reactions. They may be saying a great deal with their body language.\\nTake steps to address issues as you notice them.\\nFor instance, if one person gets consistently cut off by another member, you may notice they cross their arms and glare at the other person. Try to mediate the problem by asking what that person thinks, as well as encouraging members to let others finish their thoughts before speaking up.\\n13. Steer the group away from personal attacks.\\nHeated discussions can be fine, but hurtful words aren’t.\\nAs the leader, try to make sure everyone stays on point. They should be discussing ideas, not diving into attacks on other people, whether they're attacking people in the group or not.\\n14. Keep track of what's being said.\\nThat way, you have something everyone can focus on and refer back to.\\nIt's best if you can take notes somewhere where everyone can see, such as on a projection screen or whiteboard. This can also serve as a record of what happened in the group.\\nIf you prefer, you can ask a volunteer to do the note-taking.\\n15. Get out of the way of a functioning group.\\nA good leader knows when they’re not needed.\\nIf the group is functioning on its own, try not to interrupt the flow. If the discussion is on task and clipping along at a good speed, try not to stop the flow by interrupting the conversation.\\nTips\\nStay impartial if you are leading the discussion.\\nDon't interrupt. Wait for others to finish\\nIf the group gets bogged down, keep the flow going by asking a question or changing directions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Group discussions are a great way to get things done. You can explore a topic, come up with a plan of action, or solve an issue, just to name a few. Not sure how to get your own group discussion started? Don’t worry. We’re here to help you along every step of the way, like making good contributions, creating a positive atmosphere, and leading the group effectively.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrive prepared.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If at all possible, do your studying ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"Read any materials that have been distributed. Do any reading that was assigned. If you just have a general idea of the topic, spend some time researching the topic.\\nIn fact, it's a good idea to bring some notes with you, so you have something to refer back to in the discussion, particularly if you have evidence you want to discuss.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get clarification about things you don't understand.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This helps you get the most out of your group discussion.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, people may not express themselves as well as they want, or you simply may not hear all of what they say. It's fine to ask for clarification, particularly if you want to provide a counterpoint.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn from others' experiences.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you only stick to your beliefs, you’ll have a hard time learning anything new.\", \"描述\": \"One of the benefits of group discussion is it gives you a chance to interact with people you might not normally have a conversation with. That means you have a chance to learn something new and expand your horizons.\\nWhen someone presents an idea that takes you aback, think a moment before responding. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes to see where they're coming from.\\nIf you don't understand something, ask a follow-up question. The other person will likely appreciate that you are interested in what they have to say.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak up when you have an opinion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A group discussion should involve everyone in the group, including yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When you have an opinion or a fact that's relevant to what's being said, jump in and voice what you have to say.\\nIf you're a little shy, try getting the leader's attention so you have a chance to speak.\\nYou can also ask questions to encourage discussion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Back up what you have to say.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Backing up your statements helps you look credible.\", \"描述\": \"With this in mind, make sure you have evidence or research to back up what you say. Of course, that evidence could be your experience, but you do need to be able to explain why you are presenting a certain side.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay on task.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s easy for group discussions to go off on a tangent.\", \"描述\": \"In fact, it can be a lot of fun. However, try to stay focused on the discussion at hand, so you and others will get the full benefit of the discussion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Listen to what others have to say.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being in a group discussion is not just about saying what's on your mind.\", \"描述\": \"It's also about listening to other members in the group. While what you have to say is important, it's also important to let others have their say, as well.\\nTo listen well, don't just be thinking about what you want to say next. Actually hear what the other members are saying.\\nTry jotting down short notes on what others are saying, so you have them to refer back to.\\nIf you have a good idea, hold onto it until the moment is right to share. Don't cut people off while they're sharing their ideas. It can help to jot down a few words to help remind yourself to share your idea once it's your turn to speak.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Disagree on ideas instead of making personal attacks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Rude remarks won’t get you anywhere.\", \"描述\": \"When a discussion starts getting heated, it can be tempting to start attacking the person. However, you need to stick to discussing ideas to keep the conversation civil.\\nFor instance, you might be tempted to say, \\\"Well, you're stupid for thinking that.\\\" However, that will only cause the conversation to spiral downward.\\nTry, \\\"Can you explain to me why you think that? I disagree, but I'd like to hear more about your side.\\\" This sentence will help dialogue continue to flow, and they may make a point that will win you over.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your language.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect and civility can go a long way in a group discussion.\", \"描述\": \"When making a point, include everyone with your language. Don't use sexist or racist language when speaking up, as it may make others feel excluded.\\nFor instance, try using \\\"Chairperson\\\" instead of \\\"Chairman.\\\"\\nSay \\\"Can I get everyone's attention?\\\" instead of \\\"Ladies and gentlemen, can I get your attention?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ask questions to initiate discussion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open-ended questions can help to get people talking about the subject.\", \"描述\": \"These are ones that require more than a \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\" answer.\\nYou can ask exploring questions to get a dialogue going, such as \\\"What do you think was meant by 'objectivity versus subjectivity'?\\\"\\nChallenge questions can get a debate going, such as \\\"What assumptions is the author making? Do you think they're valid assumptions?\\\"\\nYou can also ask questions about relationships, such as \\\"What are the similarities between these two ideas? What are the differences?\\\" Diagnostic questions can be helpful as well, such as \\\"What do you think the author's motive was for this scene?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Encourage each member to speak.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"As a leader, it's your job to help all the members in the group have a say.\", \"描述\": \"Some members will be shyer than others, which means you need to create a space for them to speak. For instance, you could go around the group and have each person say what they think, so everyone has a chance to speak.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Maintain an awareness of individual emotions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you ignore how members are feeling, you could alienate some of the group.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, pay attention to how each member is reacting to what's being said. That includes paying attention to their nonverbal reactions. They may be saying a great deal with their body language.\\nTake steps to address issues as you notice them.\\nFor instance, if one person gets consistently cut off by another member, you may notice they cross their arms and glare at the other person. Try to mediate the problem by asking what that person thinks, as well as encouraging members to let others finish their thoughts before speaking up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Steer the group away from personal attacks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Heated discussions can be fine, but hurtful words aren’t.\", \"描述\": \"As the leader, try to make sure everyone stays on point. They should be discussing ideas, not diving into attacks on other people, whether they're attacking people in the group or not.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Keep track of what's being said.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"That way, you have something everyone can focus on and refer back to.\", \"描述\": \"It's best if you can take notes somewhere where everyone can see, such as on a projection screen or whiteboard. This can also serve as a record of what happened in the group.\\nIf you prefer, you can ask a volunteer to do the note-taking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Get out of the way of a functioning group.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A good leader knows when they’re not needed.\", \"描述\": \"If the group is functioning on its own, try not to interrupt the flow. If the discussion is on task and clipping along at a good speed, try not to stop the flow by interrupting the conversation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Stay impartial if you are leading the discussion.\\n\", \"Don't interrupt. Wait for others to finish\\n\", \"If the group gets bogged down, keep the flow going by asking a question or changing directions.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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3,769 | How to Be Good at Guitar | 1. Learning Chords and Scales
1-1. Recognize the string order on a guitar.
To get better at playing guitar, it can help to be aware of each string on your guitar and their corresponding note. This will allow you to learn chords and scales in the future and get better at learning how to play songs. We are going to be discussing the string order on a standard six string guitar. Seven string and eight string guitars will have a different string order.
The top string is the thickest string and it is E. The order then goes from the thickest string E, to the thinnest string, low e. The order is: E, A, D, G, B, e.
It may be tricky to remember the string order so you can use the anagram, Eat All Day, Go to Bed Early.
1-2. Practice basic chords.
Learning how to play chords will do two things: it'll get your fingers used to the guitar, and it'll allow you to play at least a simplified version of pretty much any song. You should look up chords for right handed players if you play with your right hand and chords for left handed players if you play with your left hand.
Start by playing guitar chords very slowly. Take your time and try to play each note clearly. Practice holding the strings down and making the chord shapes. Try to hold the chords with your non-dominant, or non-playing hand and strumming the strings with your dominant, playing hand.
You may start by following chord diagrams, online or printed out on paper, to help you visualize the basic chords. The chord diagrams will label each string with their corresponding note (E, A, D, G, B, e) and the order you are playing the notes to make a guitar chord.
You can look up basic chord diagrams online or through a guitar chords app on your phone. Use your knowledge of the string order on your guitar to learn basic chords. You can then move on to more complex chords once you have mastered the basics.
1-3. Understand the importance of learning scales.
Basic scales will help you become familiar with the notes you can play on guitar. They aid in the process of knowing where your fingers should land if you're reading a piece of music for the first time. For playing lead guitar, knowing scales is essential.
You can start by learning the major scales on the guitar and then move on to more complex or obscure scales. Learning new songs will also push you to try different scales and patterns on the guitar so you are a more well rounded player.
1-4. Practice playing major scales on the guitar.
Start by breaking up your guitar neck into blocks of four frets. Each section of the guitar neck will contain four frets that you can use to play major scales. You will then use a pattern, or series of notes, to play major scales in each section of the guitar neck.
To play scales, you will need to first locate the key of the scale. The key is determined by the first and last notes of the scale. So if you are playing a scale in C major, you would start the scale on the C major note, located on the eighth fret. Then, you would play the pattern over and over again, running through each note.
There are a number of resources online for learning scales, including this one and this one.
1-5. Try playing scales in different keys.
Once you have practiced a few scales in the same key, switch it up and practice playing to same scale in different keys. Challenge yourself to learning scales in each key of the guitar so you have increased range and get more comfortable playing at different keys.
You should also focus on accessing all of the frets on the guitar, moving up and down the guitar neck. Try to play scales that start at the lower frets of the guitar and avoid playing in only the keys you are comfortable with playing. Many guitar players make the mistake of practicing the scales in the same area of the guitar, which can lead to boredom and underdeveloped playing skills.
2. Practicing Songs on Guitar
2-1. Learn how to read tablature.
Guitar music is most often not written in sheet music form; it's written in tablature. This is a way of writing music down to read that is unique to guitar. It's also fairly easy to read. Tabs are formatted to mimic the fretboard of a guitar visually. You'll see six lines when you look at a tab, and each line represents one of the six strings, starting with the thickest at the bottom.
You read the tab from left to right. You'll see little numbers on the lines that represent the strings. Each number tells you how far up the string that note is. So if you see a number 2 on the E string, you should play the second fret on the E string. Then you just play the notes in the order as they're written. The only weakness of tablature is that it doesn't give you the exact rhythm that the notes are played in. You'll have to listen to the song to get that down.
2-2. Do five minute warm ups.
Before you start practicing a song, you may want to warm up your hands by playing a few exercises on the guitar. You can listen to audio of the warm up online and then try to play along to the audio or play it from memory. Warming up can get your hands and brain the mindset for practicing tabs.
You can find simple warm up chords and scales online. You should try doing different warm ups to improve your finger dexterity and speed. This may come in handy when you are trying to learn how to play songs.
2-3. Practice the tabs of your favorite guitar song.
To get better at reading tabs, you should look up the tabs for your favorite guitar song or songs. Start with less complex tabs first and then move on to more difficult tabs. Study the tabs and note where the chord changes as well as the major scales used in the song. You can then break down the song and practice each section of the song using the tabs.
Tabs will be notated by string, such as E or A, and numbers, which notate the fret. For example, if the first line says “e”, that is the low “e” string, which is the sixth string of the guitar. Then, the first line may say “3-3-3-3-3”, that means you play the “e” string in the third fret.
You can find the tabs of many major rock, pop, and jazz songs online on sites like Ultimate Guitar Tabs. Many tabs will come with audio of the song so you can play along to the audio.
2-4. Try to learn one new song a week.
Challenge yourself to learn one new song a week to improve your playing. You may start with a certain genre of music, like rock, and then challenge yourself to try a new song in a different genre, like jazz or pop. Look for songs that have unique or interesting chord changes as these will allow you to learn how to play new melodies and sounds.
You may want to consider playing with someone else who is also learning how to play guitar and challenging each other on learning different songs once a week. You can then help each other improve on technique and playing.
2-5. Learn the guitar solos you love.
If you have a favorite guitar driven song that has a wicked guitar solo, look up the tabs for that solo and practice it on guitar. Doing this will allow you to listen closely to how some of your favorite guitarist use chords and scales to great effect. A big part of being a good guitar player is learning how to play with feeling and style. Listening and mimicking your favorite guitar solos can help you work on these elements.
One option is to listen to a guitar solo you love and transcribe it by ear. Then, try to play the solo on your own using your transcription and your memory of the solo. This can help you get better at listening closely to guitar solos and the individual playing styles of the guitarists you love.
2-6. Watch videos of guitar playing.
There are several Youtube channels online that are made to help people just starting out on guitar. They will walk you through everything from chords, to scales, to arpeggios, and more. Find one or two that you like and use them as a resource in your practice.
Some of these Youtube channels include https://www.youtube.com/user/martyzsongs and https://www.youtube.com/user/tomas6750.
3. Improving Your Playing Speed and Dexterity
3-1. Use a metronome to practice playing at different speeds.
A metronome is a device that provides regular, metrical beats or clicks at a certain speed, known as beats per minute. Using a metronome when you practice your playing can allow you to get better at playing tight and on beat. It can also allow you to test your speed and dexterity when you play.
You can download an app on your phone that can act as a metronome and set the metronome at different speeds or beats per minute. Then, try to play an original song or an existing song at that speed.
The idea is that as you play, the metronome click should disappear or go into the background against the strong beats of the music. If your playing is in perfect time, your notes will line up right on top of the metronome click, and you will no longer be able to hear the sound of the metronome.
3-2. Do timed guitar drills.
Another way you can improve your playing speed and finger dexterity is to challenge yourself to do several timed guitar drills a day. You may try to run through all the scales and chords on the guitar within a certain time frame or challenge yourself to learn and plan the tabs of a song within a certain period of time. Set up a timer and force yourself to commit to a timeframe so your practices feel more like short drills that allow you to get better at your playing.
You can find guitar exercises like fretting combinations, ascending and descending quads, and chord changes on the Guitar Lesson World website.
3-3. Try more complex playing techniques.
Once you feel you have reached a certain level of playing, you may try to expand your playing abilities by trying more complex techniques like finger picking or hybrid picking. These techniques can add personality and variety to your playing as well as challenge you to try different styles.
To do finger picking, you will need position your hand so you are using your thumb, index, middle, and ring fingers for picking. You will then use these fingers to pluck certain strings, creating a cool technique that you can integrate into an original song or as an original flourish on an existing song.
To do hybrid picking, you will use a pick to play strings usually played by your thumb finger. You will then use your middle, ring, and pinkie fingers to pluck the higher strings on the guitar. Hybrid picking is popular in country music and for playing riffs in rock n roll.
Tips
Playing well takes time, patience, and practice. If you don't practice, you'll never get better.
Talk to the people in your local music store about it. Ask them for advice on anything you might be having trouble with- they can make good recommendations for solutions and preventive maintenance.
Warnings
The first few weeks practicing, your fingers might hurt a bit. The strings will leave small lines on the tips of your fingers until you develop callouses where your fingers press against the strings. If you're right-handed, this will apply to your left hand (and vice versa).
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning Chords and Scales\\n1-1. Recognize the string order on a guitar.\\nTo get better at playing guitar, it can help to be aware of each string on your guitar and their corresponding note. This will allow you to learn chords and scales in the future and get better at learning how to play songs. We are going to be discussing the string order on a standard six string guitar. Seven string and eight string guitars will have a different string order.\\nThe top string is the thickest string and it is E. The order then goes from the thickest string E, to the thinnest string, low e. The order is: E, A, D, G, B, e.\\nIt may be tricky to remember the string order so you can use the anagram, Eat All Day, Go to Bed Early.\\n1-2. Practice basic chords.\\nLearning how to play chords will do two things: it'll get your fingers used to the guitar, and it'll allow you to play at least a simplified version of pretty much any song. You should look up chords for right handed players if you play with your right hand and chords for left handed players if you play with your left hand.\\nStart by playing guitar chords very slowly. Take your time and try to play each note clearly. Practice holding the strings down and making the chord shapes. Try to hold the chords with your non-dominant, or non-playing hand and strumming the strings with your dominant, playing hand.\\nYou may start by following chord diagrams, online or printed out on paper, to help you visualize the basic chords. The chord diagrams will label each string with their corresponding note (E, A, D, G, B, e) and the order you are playing the notes to make a guitar chord.\\nYou can look up basic chord diagrams online or through a guitar chords app on your phone. Use your knowledge of the string order on your guitar to learn basic chords. You can then move on to more complex chords once you have mastered the basics.\\n1-3. Understand the importance of learning scales.\\nBasic scales will help you become familiar with the notes you can play on guitar. They aid in the process of knowing where your fingers should land if you're reading a piece of music for the first time. For playing lead guitar, knowing scales is essential.\\nYou can start by learning the major scales on the guitar and then move on to more complex or obscure scales. Learning new songs will also push you to try different scales and patterns on the guitar so you are a more well rounded player.\\n1-4. Practice playing major scales on the guitar.\\nStart by breaking up your guitar neck into blocks of four frets. Each section of the guitar neck will contain four frets that you can use to play major scales. You will then use a pattern, or series of notes, to play major scales in each section of the guitar neck.\\nTo play scales, you will need to first locate the key of the scale. The key is determined by the first and last notes of the scale. So if you are playing a scale in C major, you would start the scale on the C major note, located on the eighth fret. Then, you would play the pattern over and over again, running through each note.\\nThere are a number of resources online for learning scales, including this one and this one.\\n1-5. Try playing scales in different keys.\\nOnce you have practiced a few scales in the same key, switch it up and practice playing to same scale in different keys. Challenge yourself to learning scales in each key of the guitar so you have increased range and get more comfortable playing at different keys.\\nYou should also focus on accessing all of the frets on the guitar, moving up and down the guitar neck. Try to play scales that start at the lower frets of the guitar and avoid playing in only the keys you are comfortable with playing. Many guitar players make the mistake of practicing the scales in the same area of the guitar, which can lead to boredom and underdeveloped playing skills.\\n2. Practicing Songs on Guitar\\n2-1. Learn how to read tablature.\\nGuitar music is most often not written in sheet music form; it's written in tablature. This is a way of writing music down to read that is unique to guitar. It's also fairly easy to read. Tabs are formatted to mimic the fretboard of a guitar visually. You'll see six lines when you look at a tab, and each line represents one of the six strings, starting with the thickest at the bottom.\\nYou read the tab from left to right. You'll see little numbers on the lines that represent the strings. Each number tells you how far up the string that note is. So if you see a number 2 on the E string, you should play the second fret on the E string. Then you just play the notes in the order as they're written. The only weakness of tablature is that it doesn't give you the exact rhythm that the notes are played in. You'll have to listen to the song to get that down.\\n2-2. Do five minute warm ups.\\nBefore you start practicing a song, you may want to warm up your hands by playing a few exercises on the guitar. You can listen to audio of the warm up online and then try to play along to the audio or play it from memory. Warming up can get your hands and brain the mindset for practicing tabs.\\nYou can find simple warm up chords and scales online. You should try doing different warm ups to improve your finger dexterity and speed. This may come in handy when you are trying to learn how to play songs.\\n2-3. Practice the tabs of your favorite guitar song.\\nTo get better at reading tabs, you should look up the tabs for your favorite guitar song or songs. Start with less complex tabs first and then move on to more difficult tabs. Study the tabs and note where the chord changes as well as the major scales used in the song. You can then break down the song and practice each section of the song using the tabs.\\nTabs will be notated by string, such as E or A, and numbers, which notate the fret. For example, if the first line says “e”, that is the low “e” string, which is the sixth string of the guitar. Then, the first line may say “3-3-3-3-3”, that means you play the “e” string in the third fret.\\nYou can find the tabs of many major rock, pop, and jazz songs online on sites like Ultimate Guitar Tabs. Many tabs will come with audio of the song so you can play along to the audio.\\n2-4. Try to learn one new song a week.\\nChallenge yourself to learn one new song a week to improve your playing. You may start with a certain genre of music, like rock, and then challenge yourself to try a new song in a different genre, like jazz or pop. Look for songs that have unique or interesting chord changes as these will allow you to learn how to play new melodies and sounds.\\nYou may want to consider playing with someone else who is also learning how to play guitar and challenging each other on learning different songs once a week. You can then help each other improve on technique and playing.\\n2-5. Learn the guitar solos you love.\\nIf you have a favorite guitar driven song that has a wicked guitar solo, look up the tabs for that solo and practice it on guitar. Doing this will allow you to listen closely to how some of your favorite guitarist use chords and scales to great effect. A big part of being a good guitar player is learning how to play with feeling and style. Listening and mimicking your favorite guitar solos can help you work on these elements.\\nOne option is to listen to a guitar solo you love and transcribe it by ear. Then, try to play the solo on your own using your transcription and your memory of the solo. This can help you get better at listening closely to guitar solos and the individual playing styles of the guitarists you love.\\n2-6. Watch videos of guitar playing.\\nThere are several Youtube channels online that are made to help people just starting out on guitar. They will walk you through everything from chords, to scales, to arpeggios, and more. Find one or two that you like and use them as a resource in your practice.\\nSome of these Youtube channels include https://www.youtube.com/user/martyzsongs and https://www.youtube.com/user/tomas6750.\\n3. Improving Your Playing Speed and Dexterity\\n3-1. Use a metronome to practice playing at different speeds.\\nA metronome is a device that provides regular, metrical beats or clicks at a certain speed, known as beats per minute. Using a metronome when you practice your playing can allow you to get better at playing tight and on beat. It can also allow you to test your speed and dexterity when you play.\\nYou can download an app on your phone that can act as a metronome and set the metronome at different speeds or beats per minute. Then, try to play an original song or an existing song at that speed.\\nThe idea is that as you play, the metronome click should disappear or go into the background against the strong beats of the music. If your playing is in perfect time, your notes will line up right on top of the metronome click, and you will no longer be able to hear the sound of the metronome.\\n3-2. Do timed guitar drills.\\nAnother way you can improve your playing speed and finger dexterity is to challenge yourself to do several timed guitar drills a day. You may try to run through all the scales and chords on the guitar within a certain time frame or challenge yourself to learn and plan the tabs of a song within a certain period of time. Set up a timer and force yourself to commit to a timeframe so your practices feel more like short drills that allow you to get better at your playing.\\nYou can find guitar exercises like fretting combinations, ascending and descending quads, and chord changes on the Guitar Lesson World website.\\n3-3. Try more complex playing techniques.\\nOnce you feel you have reached a certain level of playing, you may try to expand your playing abilities by trying more complex techniques like finger picking or hybrid picking. These techniques can add personality and variety to your playing as well as challenge you to try different styles.\\nTo do finger picking, you will need position your hand so you are using your thumb, index, middle, and ring fingers for picking. You will then use these fingers to pluck certain strings, creating a cool technique that you can integrate into an original song or as an original flourish on an existing song.\\nTo do hybrid picking, you will use a pick to play strings usually played by your thumb finger. You will then use your middle, ring, and pinkie fingers to pluck the higher strings on the guitar. Hybrid picking is popular in country music and for playing riffs in rock n roll.\\nTips\\nPlaying well takes time, patience, and practice. If you don't practice, you'll never get better.\\nTalk to the people in your local music store about it. Ask them for advice on anything you might be having trouble with- they can make good recommendations for solutions and preventive maintenance.\\nWarnings\\nThe first few weeks practicing, your fingers might hurt a bit. The strings will leave small lines on the tips of your fingers until you develop callouses where your fingers press against the strings. If you're right-handed, this will apply to your left hand (and vice versa).\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever wondering what it takes to become good at guitar? Guitar playing is a skill that's not too complicated to start, but difficult to master. It starts with learning the basics; then it's just a matter of diligent practice, and expanding your knowledge. Put in the effort, and you'll see the results. Start today, and you can be on your way to becoming a skilled guitarist.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning Chords and Scales\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize the string order on a guitar.\", \"描述\": \"To get better at playing guitar, it can help to be aware of each string on your guitar and their corresponding note. This will allow you to learn chords and scales in the future and get better at learning how to play songs. We are going to be discussing the string order on a standard six string guitar. Seven string and eight string guitars will have a different string order.\\nThe top string is the thickest string and it is E. The order then goes from the thickest string E, to the thinnest string, low e. The order is: E, A, D, G, B, e.\\nIt may be tricky to remember the string order so you can use the anagram, Eat All Day, Go to Bed Early.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice basic chords.\", \"描述\": \"Learning how to play chords will do two things: it'll get your fingers used to the guitar, and it'll allow you to play at least a simplified version of pretty much any song. You should look up chords for right handed players if you play with your right hand and chords for left handed players if you play with your left hand.\\nStart by playing guitar chords very slowly. Take your time and try to play each note clearly. Practice holding the strings down and making the chord shapes. Try to hold the chords with your non-dominant, or non-playing hand and strumming the strings with your dominant, playing hand.\\nYou may start by following chord diagrams, online or printed out on paper, to help you visualize the basic chords. The chord diagrams will label each string with their corresponding note (E, A, D, G, B, e) and the order you are playing the notes to make a guitar chord.\\nYou can look up basic chord diagrams online or through a guitar chords app on your phone. Use your knowledge of the string order on your guitar to learn basic chords. You can then move on to more complex chords once you have mastered the basics.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand the importance of learning scales.\", \"描述\": \"Basic scales will help you become familiar with the notes you can play on guitar. They aid in the process of knowing where your fingers should land if you're reading a piece of music for the first time. For playing lead guitar, knowing scales is essential.\\nYou can start by learning the major scales on the guitar and then move on to more complex or obscure scales. Learning new songs will also push you to try different scales and patterns on the guitar so you are a more well rounded player.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice playing major scales on the guitar.\", \"描述\": \"Start by breaking up your guitar neck into blocks of four frets. Each section of the guitar neck will contain four frets that you can use to play major scales. You will then use a pattern, or series of notes, to play major scales in each section of the guitar neck.\\nTo play scales, you will need to first locate the key of the scale. The key is determined by the first and last notes of the scale. So if you are playing a scale in C major, you would start the scale on the C major note, located on the eighth fret. Then, you would play the pattern over and over again, running through each note.\\nThere are a number of resources online for learning scales, including this one and this one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try playing scales in different keys.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have practiced a few scales in the same key, switch it up and practice playing to same scale in different keys. Challenge yourself to learning scales in each key of the guitar so you have increased range and get more comfortable playing at different keys.\\nYou should also focus on accessing all of the frets on the guitar, moving up and down the guitar neck. Try to play scales that start at the lower frets of the guitar and avoid playing in only the keys you are comfortable with playing. Many guitar players make the mistake of practicing the scales in the same area of the guitar, which can lead to boredom and underdeveloped playing skills.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Songs on Guitar\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn how to read tablature.\", \"描述\": \"Guitar music is most often not written in sheet music form; it's written in tablature. This is a way of writing music down to read that is unique to guitar. It's also fairly easy to read. Tabs are formatted to mimic the fretboard of a guitar visually. You'll see six lines when you look at a tab, and each line represents one of the six strings, starting with the thickest at the bottom.\\nYou read the tab from left to right. You'll see little numbers on the lines that represent the strings. Each number tells you how far up the string that note is. So if you see a number 2 on the E string, you should play the second fret on the E string. Then you just play the notes in the order as they're written. The only weakness of tablature is that it doesn't give you the exact rhythm that the notes are played in. You'll have to listen to the song to get that down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do five minute warm ups.\", \"描述\": \"Before you start practicing a song, you may want to warm up your hands by playing a few exercises on the guitar. You can listen to audio of the warm up online and then try to play along to the audio or play it from memory. Warming up can get your hands and brain the mindset for practicing tabs.\\nYou can find simple warm up chords and scales online. You should try doing different warm ups to improve your finger dexterity and speed. This may come in handy when you are trying to learn how to play songs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice the tabs of your favorite guitar song.\", \"描述\": \"To get better at reading tabs, you should look up the tabs for your favorite guitar song or songs. Start with less complex tabs first and then move on to more difficult tabs. Study the tabs and note where the chord changes as well as the major scales used in the song. You can then break down the song and practice each section of the song using the tabs.\\nTabs will be notated by string, such as E or A, and numbers, which notate the fret. For example, if the first line says “e”, that is the low “e” string, which is the sixth string of the guitar. Then, the first line may say “3-3-3-3-3”, that means you play the “e” string in the third fret.\\nYou can find the tabs of many major rock, pop, and jazz songs online on sites like Ultimate Guitar Tabs. Many tabs will come with audio of the song so you can play along to the audio.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try to learn one new song a week.\", \"描述\": \"Challenge yourself to learn one new song a week to improve your playing. You may start with a certain genre of music, like rock, and then challenge yourself to try a new song in a different genre, like jazz or pop. Look for songs that have unique or interesting chord changes as these will allow you to learn how to play new melodies and sounds.\\nYou may want to consider playing with someone else who is also learning how to play guitar and challenging each other on learning different songs once a week. You can then help each other improve on technique and playing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn the guitar solos you love.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a favorite guitar driven song that has a wicked guitar solo, look up the tabs for that solo and practice it on guitar. Doing this will allow you to listen closely to how some of your favorite guitarist use chords and scales to great effect. A big part of being a good guitar player is learning how to play with feeling and style. Listening and mimicking your favorite guitar solos can help you work on these elements.\\nOne option is to listen to a guitar solo you love and transcribe it by ear. Then, try to play the solo on your own using your transcription and your memory of the solo. This can help you get better at listening closely to guitar solos and the individual playing styles of the guitarists you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Watch videos of guitar playing.\", \"描述\": \"There are several Youtube channels online that are made to help people just starting out on guitar. They will walk you through everything from chords, to scales, to arpeggios, and more. Find one or two that you like and use them as a resource in your practice.\\nSome of these Youtube channels include https://www.youtube.com/user/martyzsongs and https://www.youtube.com/user/tomas6750.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Playing Speed and Dexterity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a metronome to practice playing at different speeds.\", \"描述\": \"A metronome is a device that provides regular, metrical beats or clicks at a certain speed, known as beats per minute. Using a metronome when you practice your playing can allow you to get better at playing tight and on beat. It can also allow you to test your speed and dexterity when you play.\\nYou can download an app on your phone that can act as a metronome and set the metronome at different speeds or beats per minute. Then, try to play an original song or an existing song at that speed.\\nThe idea is that as you play, the metronome click should disappear or go into the background against the strong beats of the music. If your playing is in perfect time, your notes will line up right on top of the metronome click, and you will no longer be able to hear the sound of the metronome.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do timed guitar drills.\", \"描述\": \"Another way you can improve your playing speed and finger dexterity is to challenge yourself to do several timed guitar drills a day. You may try to run through all the scales and chords on the guitar within a certain time frame or challenge yourself to learn and plan the tabs of a song within a certain period of time. Set up a timer and force yourself to commit to a timeframe so your practices feel more like short drills that allow you to get better at your playing.\\nYou can find guitar exercises like fretting combinations, ascending and descending quads, and chord changes on the Guitar Lesson World website.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try more complex playing techniques.\", \"描述\": \"Once you feel you have reached a certain level of playing, you may try to expand your playing abilities by trying more complex techniques like finger picking or hybrid picking. These techniques can add personality and variety to your playing as well as challenge you to try different styles.\\nTo do finger picking, you will need position your hand so you are using your thumb, index, middle, and ring fingers for picking. You will then use these fingers to pluck certain strings, creating a cool technique that you can integrate into an original song or as an original flourish on an existing song.\\nTo do hybrid picking, you will use a pick to play strings usually played by your thumb finger. You will then use your middle, ring, and pinkie fingers to pluck the higher strings on the guitar. Hybrid picking is popular in country music and for playing riffs in rock n roll.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Playing well takes time, patience, and practice. If you don't practice, you'll never get better.\\n\", \"Talk to the people in your local music store about it. Ask them for advice on anything you might be having trouble with- they can make good recommendations for solutions and preventive maintenance.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"The first few weeks practicing, your fingers might hurt a bit. The strings will leave small lines on the tips of your fingers until you develop callouses where your fingers press against the strings. If you're right-handed, this will apply to your left hand (and vice versa).\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,770 | How to Be Good at Laser Tag | 1. Preparation
1-1. Wear darker clothing to make yourself harder to spot.
Laser tag is almost always played in the dark. This means that you’ll stick out if you’re wearing bright clothing, making it easier for the enemy to spot you. Wear black or dark blue to keep you hidden from your opponents.
Wear something comfortable. You’re going to be running around a lot, so make sure that you’re not wearing any heavy or baggy clothing.
1-2. Tighten your tactical vest to make you harder to hit.
Your vest contains sensors. When one of your opponents hits one of your sensors, you’re out. To make it harder to hit your sensors, tighten your vest so that it doesn’t wobble around. To tighten your vest, push it all the way up on your torso, and then tighten and buckle the shoulder and side straps.
Some vests go off accidentally if they’re too loose. Make sure that it’s tight by double-checking the shoulder and side straps before the game starts.
If your vest is loose, it’ll be easier to hear it rattling around when you’re moving. You don’t want to give away your position!
If you have trouble with your equipment, ask someone that works at the venue for help.
1-3. Communicate with your team ahead of time to prepare your strategy.
Most laser tag games are team-based, meaning that you’ll be working alongside the others on your team. Before the game starts, discuss a general strategy for working together. This could be as simple as assigning roles, or as complex as setting up specific plays.
Consider using simple hand signals to indicate the location of an enemy, or ask for covering fire.
Split your team into two smaller teams and use one for offense and one for defense if you’re playing a game of base defense or capture the flag.
1-4. Study your environment ahead of time to get an upper hand.
If you can study the map ahead of time, look for good tactical positions or areas to hide. Knowing the lay of the land will give you an advantage over an unprepared opponent. Look for areas with good cover, or easy routes to sneak around and flank the other team.
Some laser tag facilities have a brochure with their map in it. Pick one up when you get to the play area to see if it has a map!
2. Team Strategy
2-1. Split your team up in order to make you harder to beat.
Many people think that it’s always better to stick together, but it actually makes it easier for your opponent to hit one of you. If your team is bunched together, the odds of a shot landing are much higher. Split up or work in pairs to keep your team safe and difficult to catch.
It’s also much easier for the opposing team to pin you down in one location if you’re all next to each other. You don’t want to get trapped as a team!
2-2. Ambush the enemy by splitting up with a teammate.
Try hiding near an enemy and using a teammate to lure them out. Once your opponent reveals their location, get into position and sneak up on them. While they’re distracted, jump out and surprise them.
2-3. Cover your teammates by shooting when they’re moving.
Shooting while a teammate is moving is a good way to ensure that your opponent doesn’t get a free shot off. It’s harder to hit a moving target if someone is shooting back!
Some laser tag weapons use digital ammunition. That means that you may not have unlimited opportunities to shoot, so use them wisely!
2-4. Watch your back and keep an eye out for your team.
Being aware of your surroundings is essential to winning at laser tag. Make sure that you keep track of your team so that you can help them if they get into trouble. Keep an eye out for opponents that try to sneak around and flank you from behind.
Almost all laser tag vests have a sensor on the back, but ask if you have one just to be sure. You can’t be hit from behind if there’s no sensor on your back.
3. Tactical Decisions
3-1. Take the higher ground whenever possible.
If your play area has multiple levels, it is a good idea to get as high as possible. If you’re up high, you have a vantage point over the rest of the map. This will make it easier to spot and shoot at enemies.
Being up high can be dangerous, since you’ll be a target for your opponent. Consider bringing a teammate to cover your back.
3-2. Stay low behind cover to reduce your vulnerability.
If you stand out in the open, you’re giving your opponent an easier shot. Try to keep the majority of your vest behind cover so that you’re harder to hit.
If you have to go out into the open, stay low while you’re moving. This will make you harder to aim at, and your opponent might not even see you moving.
3-3. Keep an exit route nearby if things get messy.
You don’t want to end up in a sticky situation with no way of getting out. When you move to a certain part of the map, try to identify where you could hide or run away before going any further.
3-4. Avoid staying in one place for too long.
Unless you’re intentionally defending a good position, you’ll need to move often to stay safe. It’s easier for an opponent to hit a target when it’s standing still, and moving a lot will make it harder for them to keep track of where you are.
3-5. Hide if you get shot and regain your composure.
Most games of laser tag give you multiple “lives” and let you continue playing after you’ve been shot. If you get hit, the odds are that you’ll be removed from combat temporarily. This is a good time to find a spot to hide and catch your breath.
Slow your breathing while you wait and relax. This will make sure that you’re ready to move when you’re able to reenter combat!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparation\\n1-1. Wear darker clothing to make yourself harder to spot.\\nLaser tag is almost always played in the dark. This means that you’ll stick out if you’re wearing bright clothing, making it easier for the enemy to spot you. Wear black or dark blue to keep you hidden from your opponents.\\nWear something comfortable. You’re going to be running around a lot, so make sure that you’re not wearing any heavy or baggy clothing.\\n1-2. Tighten your tactical vest to make you harder to hit.\\nYour vest contains sensors. When one of your opponents hits one of your sensors, you’re out. To make it harder to hit your sensors, tighten your vest so that it doesn’t wobble around. To tighten your vest, push it all the way up on your torso, and then tighten and buckle the shoulder and side straps.\\nSome vests go off accidentally if they’re too loose. Make sure that it’s tight by double-checking the shoulder and side straps before the game starts.\\nIf your vest is loose, it’ll be easier to hear it rattling around when you’re moving. You don’t want to give away your position!\\nIf you have trouble with your equipment, ask someone that works at the venue for help.\\n1-3. Communicate with your team ahead of time to prepare your strategy.\\nMost laser tag games are team-based, meaning that you’ll be working alongside the others on your team. Before the game starts, discuss a general strategy for working together. This could be as simple as assigning roles, or as complex as setting up specific plays.\\nConsider using simple hand signals to indicate the location of an enemy, or ask for covering fire.\\nSplit your team into two smaller teams and use one for offense and one for defense if you’re playing a game of base defense or capture the flag.\\n1-4. Study your environment ahead of time to get an upper hand.\\nIf you can study the map ahead of time, look for good tactical positions or areas to hide. Knowing the lay of the land will give you an advantage over an unprepared opponent. Look for areas with good cover, or easy routes to sneak around and flank the other team.\\nSome laser tag facilities have a brochure with their map in it. Pick one up when you get to the play area to see if it has a map!\\n2. Team Strategy\\n2-1. Split your team up in order to make you harder to beat.\\nMany people think that it’s always better to stick together, but it actually makes it easier for your opponent to hit one of you. If your team is bunched together, the odds of a shot landing are much higher. Split up or work in pairs to keep your team safe and difficult to catch.\\nIt’s also much easier for the opposing team to pin you down in one location if you’re all next to each other. You don’t want to get trapped as a team!\\n2-2. Ambush the enemy by splitting up with a teammate.\\nTry hiding near an enemy and using a teammate to lure them out. Once your opponent reveals their location, get into position and sneak up on them. While they’re distracted, jump out and surprise them.\\n2-3. Cover your teammates by shooting when they’re moving.\\nShooting while a teammate is moving is a good way to ensure that your opponent doesn’t get a free shot off. It’s harder to hit a moving target if someone is shooting back!\\nSome laser tag weapons use digital ammunition. That means that you may not have unlimited opportunities to shoot, so use them wisely!\\n2-4. Watch your back and keep an eye out for your team.\\nBeing aware of your surroundings is essential to winning at laser tag. Make sure that you keep track of your team so that you can help them if they get into trouble. Keep an eye out for opponents that try to sneak around and flank you from behind.\\nAlmost all laser tag vests have a sensor on the back, but ask if you have one just to be sure. You can’t be hit from behind if there’s no sensor on your back.\\n3. Tactical Decisions\\n3-1. Take the higher ground whenever possible.\\nIf your play area has multiple levels, it is a good idea to get as high as possible. If you’re up high, you have a vantage point over the rest of the map. This will make it easier to spot and shoot at enemies.\\nBeing up high can be dangerous, since you’ll be a target for your opponent. Consider bringing a teammate to cover your back.\\n3-2. Stay low behind cover to reduce your vulnerability.\\nIf you stand out in the open, you’re giving your opponent an easier shot. Try to keep the majority of your vest behind cover so that you’re harder to hit.\\nIf you have to go out into the open, stay low while you’re moving. This will make you harder to aim at, and your opponent might not even see you moving.\\n3-3. Keep an exit route nearby if things get messy.\\nYou don’t want to end up in a sticky situation with no way of getting out. When you move to a certain part of the map, try to identify where you could hide or run away before going any further.\\n3-4. Avoid staying in one place for too long.\\nUnless you’re intentionally defending a good position, you’ll need to move often to stay safe. It’s easier for an opponent to hit a target when it’s standing still, and moving a lot will make it harder for them to keep track of where you are.\\n3-5. Hide if you get shot and regain your composure.\\nMost games of laser tag give you multiple “lives” and let you continue playing after you’ve been shot. If you get hit, the odds are that you’ll be removed from combat temporarily. This is a good time to find a spot to hide and catch your breath.\\nSlow your breathing while you wait and relax. This will make sure that you’re ready to move when you’re able to reenter combat!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Laser tag is a fun and simple game that involves using laser tag guns to try and shoot your opponent. The laser guns fire infrared beams, and trigger sensors in a player’s vest to indicate that they’ve been hit. Games of laser tag are typically team-based, and take place in complex arenas and mazes. This means that strategy and teamwork are essential to becoming a good laser tag player. You can increase your odds of performing well by preparing for the game, working as a team, and making smart decisions in combat.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear darker clothing to make yourself harder to spot.\", \"描述\": \"Laser tag is almost always played in the dark. This means that you’ll stick out if you’re wearing bright clothing, making it easier for the enemy to spot you. Wear black or dark blue to keep you hidden from your opponents.\\nWear something comfortable. You’re going to be running around a lot, so make sure that you’re not wearing any heavy or baggy clothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tighten your tactical vest to make you harder to hit.\", \"描述\": \"Your vest contains sensors. When one of your opponents hits one of your sensors, you’re out. To make it harder to hit your sensors, tighten your vest so that it doesn’t wobble around. To tighten your vest, push it all the way up on your torso, and then tighten and buckle the shoulder and side straps.\\nSome vests go off accidentally if they’re too loose. Make sure that it’s tight by double-checking the shoulder and side straps before the game starts.\\nIf your vest is loose, it’ll be easier to hear it rattling around when you’re moving. You don’t want to give away your position!\\nIf you have trouble with your equipment, ask someone that works at the venue for help.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicate with your team ahead of time to prepare your strategy.\", \"描述\": \"Most laser tag games are team-based, meaning that you’ll be working alongside the others on your team. Before the game starts, discuss a general strategy for working together. This could be as simple as assigning roles, or as complex as setting up specific plays.\\nConsider using simple hand signals to indicate the location of an enemy, or ask for covering fire.\\nSplit your team into two smaller teams and use one for offense and one for defense if you’re playing a game of base defense or capture the flag.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Study your environment ahead of time to get an upper hand.\", \"描述\": \"If you can study the map ahead of time, look for good tactical positions or areas to hide. Knowing the lay of the land will give you an advantage over an unprepared opponent. Look for areas with good cover, or easy routes to sneak around and flank the other team.\\nSome laser tag facilities have a brochure with their map in it. Pick one up when you get to the play area to see if it has a map!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Team Strategy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Split your team up in order to make you harder to beat.\", \"描述\": \"Many people think that it’s always better to stick together, but it actually makes it easier for your opponent to hit one of you. If your team is bunched together, the odds of a shot landing are much higher. Split up or work in pairs to keep your team safe and difficult to catch.\\nIt’s also much easier for the opposing team to pin you down in one location if you’re all next to each other. You don’t want to get trapped as a team!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ambush the enemy by splitting up with a teammate.\", \"描述\": \"Try hiding near an enemy and using a teammate to lure them out. Once your opponent reveals their location, get into position and sneak up on them. While they’re distracted, jump out and surprise them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cover your teammates by shooting when they’re moving.\", \"描述\": \"Shooting while a teammate is moving is a good way to ensure that your opponent doesn’t get a free shot off. It’s harder to hit a moving target if someone is shooting back!\\nSome laser tag weapons use digital ammunition. That means that you may not have unlimited opportunities to shoot, so use them wisely!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch your back and keep an eye out for your team.\", \"描述\": \"Being aware of your surroundings is essential to winning at laser tag. Make sure that you keep track of your team so that you can help them if they get into trouble. Keep an eye out for opponents that try to sneak around and flank you from behind.\\nAlmost all laser tag vests have a sensor on the back, but ask if you have one just to be sure. You can’t be hit from behind if there’s no sensor on your back.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tactical Decisions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take the higher ground whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"If your play area has multiple levels, it is a good idea to get as high as possible. If you’re up high, you have a vantage point over the rest of the map. This will make it easier to spot and shoot at enemies.\\nBeing up high can be dangerous, since you’ll be a target for your opponent. Consider bringing a teammate to cover your back.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay low behind cover to reduce your vulnerability.\", \"描述\": \"If you stand out in the open, you’re giving your opponent an easier shot. Try to keep the majority of your vest behind cover so that you’re harder to hit.\\nIf you have to go out into the open, stay low while you’re moving. This will make you harder to aim at, and your opponent might not even see you moving.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep an exit route nearby if things get messy.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to end up in a sticky situation with no way of getting out. When you move to a certain part of the map, try to identify where you could hide or run away before going any further.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid staying in one place for too long.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you’re intentionally defending a good position, you’ll need to move often to stay safe. It’s easier for an opponent to hit a target when it’s standing still, and moving a lot will make it harder for them to keep track of where you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hide if you get shot and regain your composure.\", \"描述\": \"Most games of laser tag give you multiple “lives” and let you continue playing after you’ve been shot. If you get hit, the odds are that you’ll be removed from combat temporarily. This is a good time to find a spot to hide and catch your breath.\\nSlow your breathing while you wait and relax. This will make sure that you’re ready to move when you’re able to reenter combat!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,771 | How to Be Good at Mario Kart Wii | 1. Steps
1-1. Start off by thinking of what kind of vehicle you're looking for.
Do you want something that can make sharp turns easily without bumping into walls, or do you want a speedy, drifting vehicle? There are even karts and bikes that are great at going off-road. Statistics play a bigger part in this game than you may think! Note that for beginners, a kart with good acceleration and handling is easier to use, while for more experienced players, speed tends to dominate a gamer's preference. Keep this in mind as you select what karts and bikes to use. The competitive Mario Kart Wii community has generally agreed on Funky Kong and the Flame Runner as the best combination to use, so keep that in mind. Another popular character/vehicle combination is Daisy on the Mach Bike. It is agreed unanimously that tight drifting vehicles with good speed are the best. The Mach Bike and Flame Runner are the two vehicles that best fit that, which is why they are preferred.
1-2. Choose a character and weight class.
All of the Mario Kart Characters have stats that are not listed in game. Although these certainly do not make too much of a difference (with some characters it's really not even noticeable), it's fine to look them up in depth. More important to take into consideration is the weight class, divided up into Light, Medium or Heavy characters. Light characters give less speed and weight bonuses, but are better at everything else. Because they are light they can be bumped around more often. Medium characters have the most balanced stats (though once again, this usually depends on the bike/kart you choose.) Big characters give more speed and more weight bonuses but less of everything else, as well as an increased resistance to getting bumped around.
As an example, take the Bullet Bike and the Bowser Bike/Flame Runner. They both have similar statistics, but since they're from different weight classes, they have slight differences. The Bullet Bike, which is a light vehicle, has slightly less speed and a lot less weight then the other, but makes up for it with better overall stats. The Bowser Bike/Flame Runner has better speed and a much higher weight, but its other stats are not as good as the Bullet Bike's.
1-3. Choose which drift type you'll be using - Automatic or Manual.
Automatic allows you to drift (turn easily at corners) automatically without pressing buttons, but does not allow the usage of Mini-Turbos, which are miniature speed boosts. Manual drifting does allow you to use Mini-Turbos, which can be activated by releasing B (the drift button) when you see blue or orange sparks from behind your vehicle as you drift. Orange Mini-Turbos are only possible using karts. Tilting your Wii Remote from side to side while holding B and turning makes the mini-turbo charge faster. Automatic is better for beginners, as you do not have to constantly hold B whenever you turn but Manual allows you to use mini-turbo which can be used very cleverly. Try and play on Manual as soon as you feel comfortable as it is a huge advantage and will help you get better at the game. Keep in mind that bikes and karts drift differently, so try out both and see which one you prefer, although it is accepted in the Mario Kart Wii community that bikes are generally better to use because they can perform wheelies when not turning.
1-4. Use a rocket start at the beginning of the race.
To do a Rocket Start, press the acceleration button (either A or 2, depending on your controls) just as the number 2 on the screen fades at the countdown before the race. Then, as you start the race, you zoom forward, giving you a quick advantage. A similar advantage is a boost you can get after you fall off the track and Lakitu (the Koopa on a cloud) drops you back into the race: simply accelerate exactly when you hit the ground. It is difficult and takes practice, but is very useful.
1-5. Learn how to do tricks.
This is a great new technique introduced in Mario Kart Wii that was not present in older Mario Kart games. Simply shake the Wii Remote up, down, left, or right when you go off a ramp or jump, indicated by multicolored or sometimes blue arrows going into the air, to perform a certain trick. Upon landing, you will get a short speed boost. A common mistake is shaking the remote while you are in the air--you must do it right as you are taking off from the launch pad. You will hear a noise emitting from the Wii Remote itself, letting you know that the trick was successful. Doing a successful trick earns you another speed boost.
1-6. Learn how to low trick.
Air time in Mario Kart Wii is generally slower. You want to stay as low as possible most of the time. There is a way to preform a trick, but still stay very low to the ground, called a low trick. To do this, simply hop just before a bump that you could normally trick off of, and you will barely clip the bump and trick while not going up in the air. Note that you must be using Manual Drift to do this, and that you generally cannot do this off of ramps/jumps that have orange or blue boost panels on them (with a few exceptions). This takes time to learn, but is very useful.
1-7. Look for as many shortcuts as you can.
Many courses, including Mushroom Gorge, GCN Peach Beach, N64 Mario Raceway, Mario Circuit, Coconut Mall, Wario's Gold Mine, GBA Shy Guy Beach, DS Delfino Square, and more contain hidden (intended) shortcuts and jumps. They are extremely useful, however, many of them are covered in mud or grass that slow you down. They require some sort of Mushroom boost or Star (which make you unaffected by grass or mud) to get across. See the video below for all the shortcuts in the game.
There are also many unintended, but useful shortcuts in Mario Kart Wii. They include the Mushroom Gorge Gap Jump, the Toad's Factory Lake Jump, The DK Summit Single and Double, and many more. They are generally a lot harder to do than the intended shortcuts, and some of them even require you to use certain vehicles, but keep practicing and you will get better. There are even shortcuts that allow you to skip almost the entire course, but I recommend you don't do these online, as other players might get mad at you. To learn how to do these kinds of shortcuts, go to YouTube and look for videos about them!
1-8. Know what to do with different items.
If you get a Mushroom, look for ways you can cut corners with them, as discussed above. Bananas and shells are useful when shells are coming from behind, as they protect you and destroy the shell. Use your shells very wisely--don't throw a Red Shell to the person in front of you, two inches away, when you will likely pass them in a moment anyhow. Wait until you really need it. Spiny Shells search for the player in first place and create an explosion, spinning any character in the explosion radius. If you see a Spiny Shell coming to you, there is not much you can do about it. If you have a Mushroom or a Golden Mushroom at the time, wait until the blue shell is about to slam down on you, and then use the Mushroom. Once you know the perfect time, it will become more simple. Or, you could also try slowing down and catching other players, so they get hit in the explosion and suffer the same fate. When you have a power-up like the Mega Mushroom, which turns you giant, or the Star, which makes you invincible and faster, try hitting other players to knock them over or even flatten them. The Lightning Cloud is a mixed bag; it gives you a constant boost to speed and allows you to ignore terrain effects, but after a while it will "strike" and shrink you! Depending on your ability, you can either pass this off ASAP by bumping another character or "ride the lightning" and take advantage of the benefits before passing it off. Don't wait too long, though! Be aware that all other characters can use these items, too, so watch out for them trying to hit you. Depending on the item (Spiny Shell, Red Shell, Star, Mega Mushroom, Bullet Bill, and Lightning Cloud), you may hear a warning and see an icon of an item whenever a character with the item is coming up from behind. If you can be mid-air when the [POW] block detonates, it will keep you from getting hit by the effect, although shaking the Wii remote while it detonates will lessen the effect if you're on the ground.
1-9. Watch the top ranking Time Trials, and learn from what you see.
To view the Time Trial rankings, your Wii system will need an Internet connection. After selecting your licence, you should see the Mario Kart Channel in the bottom right corner of the screen. Once you're there, press the Time Trial Rankings button. From there, you can look at the top ranking ghosts, perfect your route on each track, and learn new shortcuts and tricks. If you can't connect your Wii to the Internet for one reason or another, then you can just search for the top ranking time trials on your computer.
Tips
Work in teams, it provides for a fun and easy experience!
Have fun! Remember, don't worry so much about statistics that playing the game becomes a tiresome burden.
Try and use the best character/vehicle combinations such as Funky Kong/Flame Runner or Daisy/Mach Bike.
Warnings
Always be cautious of what the opponents behind you might have to use against you! Always pay attention to your surroundings!
It may take a while to find the perfect character and kart/bike combo- be patient!
Mario Kart Wii is very different from previous Mario Kart games in terms of statistics, karts vs. bikes, and drifting.
It may be tempting to learn how to play using the Wii Remote/Wheel, but try learning with the Classic or Gamecube controller as you can be a lot better at the game when you use them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Start off by thinking of what kind of vehicle you're looking for.\\nDo you want something that can make sharp turns easily without bumping into walls, or do you want a speedy, drifting vehicle? There are even karts and bikes that are great at going off-road. Statistics play a bigger part in this game than you may think! Note that for beginners, a kart with good acceleration and handling is easier to use, while for more experienced players, speed tends to dominate a gamer's preference. Keep this in mind as you select what karts and bikes to use. The competitive Mario Kart Wii community has generally agreed on Funky Kong and the Flame Runner as the best combination to use, so keep that in mind. Another popular character/vehicle combination is Daisy on the Mach Bike. It is agreed unanimously that tight drifting vehicles with good speed are the best. The Mach Bike and Flame Runner are the two vehicles that best fit that, which is why they are preferred.\\n1-2. Choose a character and weight class.\\nAll of the Mario Kart Characters have stats that are not listed in game. Although these certainly do not make too much of a difference (with some characters it's really not even noticeable), it's fine to look them up in depth. More important to take into consideration is the weight class, divided up into Light, Medium or Heavy characters. Light characters give less speed and weight bonuses, but are better at everything else. Because they are light they can be bumped around more often. Medium characters have the most balanced stats (though once again, this usually depends on the bike/kart you choose.) Big characters give more speed and more weight bonuses but less of everything else, as well as an increased resistance to getting bumped around.\\nAs an example, take the Bullet Bike and the Bowser Bike/Flame Runner. They both have similar statistics, but since they're from different weight classes, they have slight differences. The Bullet Bike, which is a light vehicle, has slightly less speed and a lot less weight then the other, but makes up for it with better overall stats. The Bowser Bike/Flame Runner has better speed and a much higher weight, but its other stats are not as good as the Bullet Bike's.\\n1-3. Choose which drift type you'll be using - Automatic or Manual.\\nAutomatic allows you to drift (turn easily at corners) automatically without pressing buttons, but does not allow the usage of Mini-Turbos, which are miniature speed boosts. Manual drifting does allow you to use Mini-Turbos, which can be activated by releasing B (the drift button) when you see blue or orange sparks from behind your vehicle as you drift. Orange Mini-Turbos are only possible using karts. Tilting your Wii Remote from side to side while holding B and turning makes the mini-turbo charge faster. Automatic is better for beginners, as you do not have to constantly hold B whenever you turn but Manual allows you to use mini-turbo which can be used very cleverly. Try and play on Manual as soon as you feel comfortable as it is a huge advantage and will help you get better at the game. Keep in mind that bikes and karts drift differently, so try out both and see which one you prefer, although it is accepted in the Mario Kart Wii community that bikes are generally better to use because they can perform wheelies when not turning.\\n1-4. Use a rocket start at the beginning of the race.\\nTo do a Rocket Start, press the acceleration button (either A or 2, depending on your controls) just as the number 2 on the screen fades at the countdown before the race. Then, as you start the race, you zoom forward, giving you a quick advantage. A similar advantage is a boost you can get after you fall off the track and Lakitu (the Koopa on a cloud) drops you back into the race: simply accelerate exactly when you hit the ground. It is difficult and takes practice, but is very useful.\\n1-5. Learn how to do tricks.\\nThis is a great new technique introduced in Mario Kart Wii that was not present in older Mario Kart games. Simply shake the Wii Remote up, down, left, or right when you go off a ramp or jump, indicated by multicolored or sometimes blue arrows going into the air, to perform a certain trick. Upon landing, you will get a short speed boost. A common mistake is shaking the remote while you are in the air--you must do it right as you are taking off from the launch pad. You will hear a noise emitting from the Wii Remote itself, letting you know that the trick was successful. Doing a successful trick earns you another speed boost.\\n1-6. Learn how to low trick.\\nAir time in Mario Kart Wii is generally slower. You want to stay as low as possible most of the time. There is a way to preform a trick, but still stay very low to the ground, called a low trick. To do this, simply hop just before a bump that you could normally trick off of, and you will barely clip the bump and trick while not going up in the air. Note that you must be using Manual Drift to do this, and that you generally cannot do this off of ramps/jumps that have orange or blue boost panels on them (with a few exceptions). This takes time to learn, but is very useful.\\n1-7. Look for as many shortcuts as you can.\\nMany courses, including Mushroom Gorge, GCN Peach Beach, N64 Mario Raceway, Mario Circuit, Coconut Mall, Wario's Gold Mine, GBA Shy Guy Beach, DS Delfino Square, and more contain hidden (intended) shortcuts and jumps. They are extremely useful, however, many of them are covered in mud or grass that slow you down. They require some sort of Mushroom boost or Star (which make you unaffected by grass or mud) to get across. See the video below for all the shortcuts in the game.\\nThere are also many unintended, but useful shortcuts in Mario Kart Wii. They include the Mushroom Gorge Gap Jump, the Toad's Factory Lake Jump, The DK Summit Single and Double, and many more. They are generally a lot harder to do than the intended shortcuts, and some of them even require you to use certain vehicles, but keep practicing and you will get better. There are even shortcuts that allow you to skip almost the entire course, but I recommend you don't do these online, as other players might get mad at you. To learn how to do these kinds of shortcuts, go to YouTube and look for videos about them!\\n1-8. Know what to do with different items.\\nIf you get a Mushroom, look for ways you can cut corners with them, as discussed above. Bananas and shells are useful when shells are coming from behind, as they protect you and destroy the shell. Use your shells very wisely--don't throw a Red Shell to the person in front of you, two inches away, when you will likely pass them in a moment anyhow. Wait until you really need it. Spiny Shells search for the player in first place and create an explosion, spinning any character in the explosion radius. If you see a Spiny Shell coming to you, there is not much you can do about it. If you have a Mushroom or a Golden Mushroom at the time, wait until the blue shell is about to slam down on you, and then use the Mushroom. Once you know the perfect time, it will become more simple. Or, you could also try slowing down and catching other players, so they get hit in the explosion and suffer the same fate. When you have a power-up like the Mega Mushroom, which turns you giant, or the Star, which makes you invincible and faster, try hitting other players to knock them over or even flatten them. The Lightning Cloud is a mixed bag; it gives you a constant boost to speed and allows you to ignore terrain effects, but after a while it will \\\"strike\\\" and shrink you! Depending on your ability, you can either pass this off ASAP by bumping another character or \\\"ride the lightning\\\" and take advantage of the benefits before passing it off. Don't wait too long, though! Be aware that all other characters can use these items, too, so watch out for them trying to hit you. Depending on the item (Spiny Shell, Red Shell, Star, Mega Mushroom, Bullet Bill, and Lightning Cloud), you may hear a warning and see an icon of an item whenever a character with the item is coming up from behind. If you can be mid-air when the [POW] block detonates, it will keep you from getting hit by the effect, although shaking the Wii remote while it detonates will lessen the effect if you're on the ground.\\n1-9. Watch the top ranking Time Trials, and learn from what you see.\\nTo view the Time Trial rankings, your Wii system will need an Internet connection. After selecting your licence, you should see the Mario Kart Channel in the bottom right corner of the screen. Once you're there, press the Time Trial Rankings button. From there, you can look at the top ranking ghosts, perfect your route on each track, and learn new shortcuts and tricks. If you can't connect your Wii to the Internet for one reason or another, then you can just search for the top ranking time trials on your computer.\\nTips\\nWork in teams, it provides for a fun and easy experience!\\nHave fun! Remember, don't worry so much about statistics that playing the game becomes a tiresome burden.\\nTry and use the best character/vehicle combinations such as Funky Kong/Flame Runner or Daisy/Mach Bike.\\nWarnings\\nAlways be cautious of what the opponents behind you might have to use against you! Always pay attention to your surroundings!\\nIt may take a while to find the perfect character and kart/bike combo- be patient!\\nMario Kart Wii is very different from previous Mario Kart games in terms of statistics, karts vs. bikes, and drifting.\\nIt may be tempting to learn how to play using the Wii Remote/Wheel, but try learning with the Classic or Gamecube controller as you can be a lot better at the game when you use them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Mario Kart Wii is a fun, enjoyable game for just about everyone. But when it starts to get competitive, it can be hard to \\\"just wing it.\\\" Here's how to get better than most at the game.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start off by thinking of what kind of vehicle you're looking for.\", \"描述\": \"Do you want something that can make sharp turns easily without bumping into walls, or do you want a speedy, drifting vehicle? There are even karts and bikes that are great at going off-road. Statistics play a bigger part in this game than you may think! Note that for beginners, a kart with good acceleration and handling is easier to use, while for more experienced players, speed tends to dominate a gamer's preference. Keep this in mind as you select what karts and bikes to use. The competitive Mario Kart Wii community has generally agreed on Funky Kong and the Flame Runner as the best combination to use, so keep that in mind. Another popular character/vehicle combination is Daisy on the Mach Bike. It is agreed unanimously that tight drifting vehicles with good speed are the best. The Mach Bike and Flame Runner are the two vehicles that best fit that, which is why they are preferred.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a character and weight class.\", \"描述\": \"All of the Mario Kart Characters have stats that are not listed in game. Although these certainly do not make too much of a difference (with some characters it's really not even noticeable), it's fine to look them up in depth. More important to take into consideration is the weight class, divided up into Light, Medium or Heavy characters. Light characters give less speed and weight bonuses, but are better at everything else. Because they are light they can be bumped around more often. Medium characters have the most balanced stats (though once again, this usually depends on the bike/kart you choose.) Big characters give more speed and more weight bonuses but less of everything else, as well as an increased resistance to getting bumped around.\\nAs an example, take the Bullet Bike and the Bowser Bike/Flame Runner. They both have similar statistics, but since they're from different weight classes, they have slight differences. The Bullet Bike, which is a light vehicle, has slightly less speed and a lot less weight then the other, but makes up for it with better overall stats. The Bowser Bike/Flame Runner has better speed and a much higher weight, but its other stats are not as good as the Bullet Bike's.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose which drift type you'll be using - Automatic or Manual.\", \"描述\": \"Automatic allows you to drift (turn easily at corners) automatically without pressing buttons, but does not allow the usage of Mini-Turbos, which are miniature speed boosts. Manual drifting does allow you to use Mini-Turbos, which can be activated by releasing B (the drift button) when you see blue or orange sparks from behind your vehicle as you drift. Orange Mini-Turbos are only possible using karts. Tilting your Wii Remote from side to side while holding B and turning makes the mini-turbo charge faster. Automatic is better for beginners, as you do not have to constantly hold B whenever you turn but Manual allows you to use mini-turbo which can be used very cleverly. Try and play on Manual as soon as you feel comfortable as it is a huge advantage and will help you get better at the game. Keep in mind that bikes and karts drift differently, so try out both and see which one you prefer, although it is accepted in the Mario Kart Wii community that bikes are generally better to use because they can perform wheelies when not turning.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a rocket start at the beginning of the race.\", \"描述\": \"To do a Rocket Start, press the acceleration button (either A or 2, depending on your controls) just as the number 2 on the screen fades at the countdown before the race. Then, as you start the race, you zoom forward, giving you a quick advantage. A similar advantage is a boost you can get after you fall off the track and Lakitu (the Koopa on a cloud) drops you back into the race: simply accelerate exactly when you hit the ground. It is difficult and takes practice, but is very useful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn how to do tricks.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great new technique introduced in Mario Kart Wii that was not present in older Mario Kart games. Simply shake the Wii Remote up, down, left, or right when you go off a ramp or jump, indicated by multicolored or sometimes blue arrows going into the air, to perform a certain trick. Upon landing, you will get a short speed boost. A common mistake is shaking the remote while you are in the air--you must do it right as you are taking off from the launch pad. You will hear a noise emitting from the Wii Remote itself, letting you know that the trick was successful. Doing a successful trick earns you another speed boost.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn how to low trick.\", \"描述\": \"Air time in Mario Kart Wii is generally slower. You want to stay as low as possible most of the time. There is a way to preform a trick, but still stay very low to the ground, called a low trick. To do this, simply hop just before a bump that you could normally trick off of, and you will barely clip the bump and trick while not going up in the air. Note that you must be using Manual Drift to do this, and that you generally cannot do this off of ramps/jumps that have orange or blue boost panels on them (with a few exceptions). This takes time to learn, but is very useful.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Look for as many shortcuts as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Many courses, including Mushroom Gorge, GCN Peach Beach, N64 Mario Raceway, Mario Circuit, Coconut Mall, Wario's Gold Mine, GBA Shy Guy Beach, DS Delfino Square, and more contain hidden (intended) shortcuts and jumps. They are extremely useful, however, many of them are covered in mud or grass that slow you down. They require some sort of Mushroom boost or Star (which make you unaffected by grass or mud) to get across. See the video below for all the shortcuts in the game.\\nThere are also many unintended, but useful shortcuts in Mario Kart Wii. They include the Mushroom Gorge Gap Jump, the Toad's Factory Lake Jump, The DK Summit Single and Double, and many more. They are generally a lot harder to do than the intended shortcuts, and some of them even require you to use certain vehicles, but keep practicing and you will get better. There are even shortcuts that allow you to skip almost the entire course, but I recommend you don't do these online, as other players might get mad at you. To learn how to do these kinds of shortcuts, go to YouTube and look for videos about them!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Know what to do with different items.\", \"描述\": \"If you get a Mushroom, look for ways you can cut corners with them, as discussed above. Bananas and shells are useful when shells are coming from behind, as they protect you and destroy the shell. Use your shells very wisely--don't throw a Red Shell to the person in front of you, two inches away, when you will likely pass them in a moment anyhow. Wait until you really need it. Spiny Shells search for the player in first place and create an explosion, spinning any character in the explosion radius. If you see a Spiny Shell coming to you, there is not much you can do about it. If you have a Mushroom or a Golden Mushroom at the time, wait until the blue shell is about to slam down on you, and then use the Mushroom. Once you know the perfect time, it will become more simple. Or, you could also try slowing down and catching other players, so they get hit in the explosion and suffer the same fate. When you have a power-up like the Mega Mushroom, which turns you giant, or the Star, which makes you invincible and faster, try hitting other players to knock them over or even flatten them. The Lightning Cloud is a mixed bag; it gives you a constant boost to speed and allows you to ignore terrain effects, but after a while it will \\\"strike\\\" and shrink you! Depending on your ability, you can either pass this off ASAP by bumping another character or \\\"ride the lightning\\\" and take advantage of the benefits before passing it off. Don't wait too long, though! Be aware that all other characters can use these items, too, so watch out for them trying to hit you. Depending on the item (Spiny Shell, Red Shell, Star, Mega Mushroom, Bullet Bill, and Lightning Cloud), you may hear a warning and see an icon of an item whenever a character with the item is coming up from behind. If you can be mid-air when the [POW] block detonates, it will keep you from getting hit by the effect, although shaking the Wii remote while it detonates will lessen the effect if you're on the ground.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Watch the top ranking Time Trials, and learn from what you see.\", \"描述\": \"To view the Time Trial rankings, your Wii system will need an Internet connection. After selecting your licence, you should see the Mario Kart Channel in the bottom right corner of the screen. Once you're there, press the Time Trial Rankings button. From there, you can look at the top ranking ghosts, perfect your route on each track, and learn new shortcuts and tricks. If you can't connect your Wii to the Internet for one reason or another, then you can just search for the top ranking time trials on your computer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Work in teams, it provides for a fun and easy experience!\\n\", \"Have fun! Remember, don't worry so much about statistics that playing the game becomes a tiresome burden.\\n\", \"Try and use the best character/vehicle combinations such as Funky Kong/Flame Runner or Daisy/Mach Bike.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Always be cautious of what the opponents behind you might have to use against you! Always pay attention to your surroundings!\\n\", \"It may take a while to find the perfect character and kart/bike combo- be patient!\\n\", \"Mario Kart Wii is very different from previous Mario Kart games in terms of statistics, karts vs. bikes, and drifting.\\n\", \"It may be tempting to learn how to play using the Wii Remote/Wheel, but try learning with the Classic or Gamecube controller as you can be a lot better at the game when you use them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,772 | How to Be Good at Mathematics | 1. Getting Help and Advice
1-1. Ask your teacher for help.
Most teachers are enthusiastic about encouraging students. If you want to be better at math, do not hesitate to ask your teacher for help. He or she may be able to give you one-on-one attention and go over problems after class.
Do not feel bad about asking for help. Many people struggle with math, and your teacher has likely dealt with struggling students before. Your teacher is invested in seeing you succeed.
Be direct when asking for help, and explain the issue clearly. Do not say, "I don't get any of this." Instead, say, "I feel like I understand everything until chapter three, but polynomials are really confusing me."
1-2. Hire a tutor.
If you feel you need a lot of one-on-one attention, consider hiring a tutor. A tutor can sit down with you a certain number of times per week and go over problems with you. A quality tutor can help math start to click for you, leading you to better understand the subject as a whole.
If you have a learning disability that affects your competency at math, such as dyslexia, see if you can find a tutor who works with students with disabilities. National organizations associated with your disability may be able to find you a local tutor. A medical doctor may be able to refer you to a tutor as well.
1-3. Have another person check your work.
If you know someone who's good at math, have them look over your work when you're done. You can ask a parent for help, a tutor you hired, or a friend or family member who excels at math.
If you're very confused, choose someone with a lot of patience who's good at explaining things. Your cousin may be a whiz at math, but he may be short-tempered and judgmental. He may snap at you for not understanding something. Instead, ask your sister who's usually calm.
Do not be embarrassed to ask for help. It can take a long time to improve your math skills, and everyone needs some help along the way.
1-4. Try enrolling in an online course.
If you're trying to improve your math skills outside of school, you can try taking an online course. Universities like Kaplan provide an array of online courses, and many colleges have classes online students can take remotely.
Some schools provide certain aspects of a course, like PowerPoint presentations and taped lectures, for free online.
You can also look into an auditing a course at a local college. If money is an issue, auditing a course can allow you to gain knowledge for no cost.
1-5. Go to your school's math resource center, if you have one.
If you are in school, your school may have a math resource center. Many campuses have a center where students can go for one-on-one math tutoring. Check to see if a math center is available at your school. If it is, make use of the resource.
If your school does not have a resource center, it may have a general resource center where you can get help on a variety of subjects.
You can also see if your professor does review sessions. If you're confused by a subject, a review session with a professor can help you better understand that subject.
1-6. Try to help someone else.
Sometimes, explaining a concept to another person can help you understand it more. If you're finally getting your calculus course, and a friend is struggling, you could try offering to help him or her. You could also form a study group. If anyone is struggling with something you're beginning to understand, you can offer to help.
When helping, explain the subject material as clear as you possibly can. In addition to explaining the process, explain why it works.
If you're beginning to feel very comfortable with your math skills, you could work as a private tutor for people at a lower level. Explaining math to others can help improve your math skills.
2. Cultivating the Right Mindset
2-1. Adopt a positive attitude about math.
Many people self-sabotage with math by convincing themselves they can't do it. If you struggled with math in high school, college, or at another point in your education, you may think you're not good at math and simply will not be able to do it. A positive attitude can help you stay motivated and feel encouraged as you attempt to hone your math skills.
If you have a bad attitude, you will get frustrated easily. If you assume you're bad at math, when you get a problem wrong you will see that as a confirmation of this assumption. You will think to yourself, "I knew I'm no good at this. What's the point?"
Go into it with the right attitude. If you're currently struggling with math, don't think, "I'm bad at math." Instead, think to yourself, "I have not taken enough time to practice math, so I'm still learning. With some hard work, I know I can improve my skills."
2-2. Reject the notion you are naturally bad at math.
Many people convince themselves they're naturally bad at math. This can lead a person to not put in the work to improve. Understand that it's a myth that people have a natural tendency towards math. Studies show everyone can learn math with a little work.
Some people do have an inborn talent for math. This can help them gain an advantage early on, and they may learn more quickly in elementary school. However, most studies indicate hard work can improve your math skills just as much as a natural inclination. In fact, hard work may pay off more long term than innate talent.
There are learning disorders, like dyscalculia, that can affect your ability to do math. However, even with a learning disability, you can improve your math skills with practice and proper treatment. Do not get discouraged. You are not simply bad at math. You just need practice.
2-3. Take math seriously.
Another reason people struggle with math is that they do not take it seriously. They feel it's okay to be bad at math, or laugh it off. While you should not feel bad about yourself for struggling with math, take it seriously as a subject.
The ability to do math can help with your reasoning skills, and mental math can make your day-to-day life less stressful.
Embrace math instead of disregarding it. Being good at math can be beneficial to you.
2-4. Stay motivated.
Practice is really the only way to improve your math skills long term. There is really no magic trick that will improve your skills overnight. You just have to stay motivated. Keep up with your studies and ask for help when you need it. With some time and dedication, you can become a math whiz.
3. Practicing Math
3-1. Study in a distraction-free environment.
If you're not good at math yet, you need to make sure you're studying in an environment that allows for concentration. Before you sit down to practice, find a place free of outside stimuli that can cause a distraction.
Find an area where there is not a lot of noise or commotion. A quiet coffee shop could work, or a desk in your bedroom.
Minimize distractions in front of you. Disconnect from the internet and put away your phone.
If you like music while studying, go for instrumental music. Music with lyrics, or music that's very loud, can be distracting when you're studying.
3-2. Make time to practice each day.
There's no real secret to becoming good at mathematics. It all comes down to dedication. If you want to improve your math score, hard work is key. You will have to practice every day until you start to understand the underlying concepts behind math.
Stick to a schedule. See where you can fit in some study time every day. Maybe you usually have some time in the early evenings. You could plan to study math from 6 to 7 every night after dinner.
Try not to study for hours and hours straight. This may create stress. Study for an hour or so each night.
3-3. Learn the logic and process involved in solving a problem.
Math is sequential. Many people feel they have to memorize concepts and formulas or map out the answer in their head before they begin. This is not productive. Instead, try to understand the concepts behind math. If you see how and why an equation works, you'll be able to remember it more easily in a pinch.
Math theory may seem complicated, but with a little hard work, you can begin to figure it out. In math classes, do not hesitate to ask why. Why does the Pythagorean Theorem work? How does the quadratic equation work on a logical level?
Understanding the underlying concepts is far more productive than simple memorization. If you understand something in depth, you'll have an easier time working with it. You'll be better equipped to check your answer if you understand why an equation makes sense.
3-4. Work out a problem one step at a time.
Doing math, you want to see how to discover an answer. Instead of pre-planning how you'll figure out the answer, simply work the equation one step at a time. Do not think ahead, as going slowly will allow you to see how the answer unfolds.
If you first need to divide, concentrate only on dividing. If you need to add next, keep your focus on adding.
Once you've completed the problem, you can go through and look at the process. Try to understand why and how the process worked.
3-5. Review incorrect answers carefully.
You can learn a lot from your mistakes in math. When you find you have an incorrect answer, review your process. Where and how did you go wrong? Try to work through the problem again, figuring out how to get the correct answer.
It's vital that you write down your process when solving math problems. Use a pen to write down the steps you took to solve a problem line by line. This way, when you make an error, you can review your work and figure out where you slipped up more easily.
3-6. Check your answers.
Review your process after completing an equation. Carefully make sure you calculated everything correctly and used the right process. When you check to see if you got the answer right, you're more likely to have succeeded if you checked your answers carefully. This will also help you get in the habit of checking answers, which can boost grades on an exam.
Checking answers can also help you better understand the underlying theories behind math.
Tips
Don't be embarrassed to ask questions when you are confused. Everyone asks questions.
Don't wait to study until the last minute if you have a test. Study a little bit each day.
Take your time. It may take you a while to solve a difficult problem.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Help and Advice\\n1-1. Ask your teacher for help.\\nMost teachers are enthusiastic about encouraging students. If you want to be better at math, do not hesitate to ask your teacher for help. He or she may be able to give you one-on-one attention and go over problems after class.\\nDo not feel bad about asking for help. Many people struggle with math, and your teacher has likely dealt with struggling students before. Your teacher is invested in seeing you succeed.\\nBe direct when asking for help, and explain the issue clearly. Do not say, \\\"I don't get any of this.\\\" Instead, say, \\\"I feel like I understand everything until chapter three, but polynomials are really confusing me.\\\"\\n1-2. Hire a tutor.\\nIf you feel you need a lot of one-on-one attention, consider hiring a tutor. A tutor can sit down with you a certain number of times per week and go over problems with you. A quality tutor can help math start to click for you, leading you to better understand the subject as a whole.\\nIf you have a learning disability that affects your competency at math, such as dyslexia, see if you can find a tutor who works with students with disabilities. National organizations associated with your disability may be able to find you a local tutor. A medical doctor may be able to refer you to a tutor as well.\\n1-3. Have another person check your work.\\nIf you know someone who's good at math, have them look over your work when you're done. You can ask a parent for help, a tutor you hired, or a friend or family member who excels at math.\\nIf you're very confused, choose someone with a lot of patience who's good at explaining things. Your cousin may be a whiz at math, but he may be short-tempered and judgmental. He may snap at you for not understanding something. Instead, ask your sister who's usually calm.\\nDo not be embarrassed to ask for help. It can take a long time to improve your math skills, and everyone needs some help along the way.\\n1-4. Try enrolling in an online course.\\nIf you're trying to improve your math skills outside of school, you can try taking an online course. Universities like Kaplan provide an array of online courses, and many colleges have classes online students can take remotely.\\nSome schools provide certain aspects of a course, like PowerPoint presentations and taped lectures, for free online.\\nYou can also look into an auditing a course at a local college. If money is an issue, auditing a course can allow you to gain knowledge for no cost.\\n1-5. Go to your school's math resource center, if you have one.\\nIf you are in school, your school may have a math resource center. Many campuses have a center where students can go for one-on-one math tutoring. Check to see if a math center is available at your school. If it is, make use of the resource.\\nIf your school does not have a resource center, it may have a general resource center where you can get help on a variety of subjects.\\nYou can also see if your professor does review sessions. If you're confused by a subject, a review session with a professor can help you better understand that subject.\\n1-6. Try to help someone else.\\nSometimes, explaining a concept to another person can help you understand it more. If you're finally getting your calculus course, and a friend is struggling, you could try offering to help him or her. You could also form a study group. If anyone is struggling with something you're beginning to understand, you can offer to help.\\nWhen helping, explain the subject material as clear as you possibly can. In addition to explaining the process, explain why it works.\\nIf you're beginning to feel very comfortable with your math skills, you could work as a private tutor for people at a lower level. Explaining math to others can help improve your math skills.\\n2. Cultivating the Right Mindset\\n2-1. Adopt a positive attitude about math.\\nMany people self-sabotage with math by convincing themselves they can't do it. If you struggled with math in high school, college, or at another point in your education, you may think you're not good at math and simply will not be able to do it. A positive attitude can help you stay motivated and feel encouraged as you attempt to hone your math skills.\\nIf you have a bad attitude, you will get frustrated easily. If you assume you're bad at math, when you get a problem wrong you will see that as a confirmation of this assumption. You will think to yourself, \\\"I knew I'm no good at this. What's the point?\\\"\\nGo into it with the right attitude. If you're currently struggling with math, don't think, \\\"I'm bad at math.\\\" Instead, think to yourself, \\\"I have not taken enough time to practice math, so I'm still learning. With some hard work, I know I can improve my skills.\\\"\\n2-2. Reject the notion you are naturally bad at math.\\nMany people convince themselves they're naturally bad at math. This can lead a person to not put in the work to improve. Understand that it's a myth that people have a natural tendency towards math. Studies show everyone can learn math with a little work.\\nSome people do have an inborn talent for math. This can help them gain an advantage early on, and they may learn more quickly in elementary school. However, most studies indicate hard work can improve your math skills just as much as a natural inclination. In fact, hard work may pay off more long term than innate talent.\\nThere are learning disorders, like dyscalculia, that can affect your ability to do math. However, even with a learning disability, you can improve your math skills with practice and proper treatment. Do not get discouraged. You are not simply bad at math. You just need practice.\\n2-3. Take math seriously.\\nAnother reason people struggle with math is that they do not take it seriously. They feel it's okay to be bad at math, or laugh it off. While you should not feel bad about yourself for struggling with math, take it seriously as a subject.\\nThe ability to do math can help with your reasoning skills, and mental math can make your day-to-day life less stressful.\\nEmbrace math instead of disregarding it. Being good at math can be beneficial to you.\\n2-4. Stay motivated.\\nPractice is really the only way to improve your math skills long term. There is really no magic trick that will improve your skills overnight. You just have to stay motivated. Keep up with your studies and ask for help when you need it. With some time and dedication, you can become a math whiz.\\n3. Practicing Math\\n3-1. Study in a distraction-free environment.\\nIf you're not good at math yet, you need to make sure you're studying in an environment that allows for concentration. Before you sit down to practice, find a place free of outside stimuli that can cause a distraction.\\nFind an area where there is not a lot of noise or commotion. A quiet coffee shop could work, or a desk in your bedroom.\\nMinimize distractions in front of you. Disconnect from the internet and put away your phone.\\nIf you like music while studying, go for instrumental music. Music with lyrics, or music that's very loud, can be distracting when you're studying.\\n3-2. Make time to practice each day.\\nThere's no real secret to becoming good at mathematics. It all comes down to dedication. If you want to improve your math score, hard work is key. You will have to practice every day until you start to understand the underlying concepts behind math.\\nStick to a schedule. See where you can fit in some study time every day. Maybe you usually have some time in the early evenings. You could plan to study math from 6 to 7 every night after dinner.\\nTry not to study for hours and hours straight. This may create stress. Study for an hour or so each night.\\n3-3. Learn the logic and process involved in solving a problem.\\nMath is sequential. Many people feel they have to memorize concepts and formulas or map out the answer in their head before they begin. This is not productive. Instead, try to understand the concepts behind math. If you see how and why an equation works, you'll be able to remember it more easily in a pinch.\\nMath theory may seem complicated, but with a little hard work, you can begin to figure it out. In math classes, do not hesitate to ask why. Why does the Pythagorean Theorem work? How does the quadratic equation work on a logical level?\\nUnderstanding the underlying concepts is far more productive than simple memorization. If you understand something in depth, you'll have an easier time working with it. You'll be better equipped to check your answer if you understand why an equation makes sense.\\n3-4. Work out a problem one step at a time.\\nDoing math, you want to see how to discover an answer. Instead of pre-planning how you'll figure out the answer, simply work the equation one step at a time. Do not think ahead, as going slowly will allow you to see how the answer unfolds.\\nIf you first need to divide, concentrate only on dividing. If you need to add next, keep your focus on adding.\\nOnce you've completed the problem, you can go through and look at the process. Try to understand why and how the process worked.\\n3-5. Review incorrect answers carefully.\\nYou can learn a lot from your mistakes in math. When you find you have an incorrect answer, review your process. Where and how did you go wrong? Try to work through the problem again, figuring out how to get the correct answer.\\nIt's vital that you write down your process when solving math problems. Use a pen to write down the steps you took to solve a problem line by line. This way, when you make an error, you can review your work and figure out where you slipped up more easily.\\n3-6. Check your answers.\\nReview your process after completing an equation. Carefully make sure you calculated everything correctly and used the right process. When you check to see if you got the answer right, you're more likely to have succeeded if you checked your answers carefully. This will also help you get in the habit of checking answers, which can boost grades on an exam.\\nChecking answers can also help you better understand the underlying theories behind math.\\nTips\\nDon't be embarrassed to ask questions when you are confused. Everyone asks questions.\\nDon't wait to study until the last minute if you have a test. Study a little bit each day.\\nTake your time. It may take you a while to solve a difficult problem.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many people feel they are naturally bad at math, and will not be able to improve in the area. This is simply not true. Studies show being good at math is a matter of hard work just as much, if not more, than innate talent. You can become good at math simply by dedication. Take time each day to practice math until the concepts start to click for you. If necessary, seek outside help. A tutor, a teacher, or even someone who is simply good at math can help you perfect your skills. You should also work on developing a healthy attitude about math. Many people have a defeatist attitude about the subject, and are inclined to think, \\\"I'm not good at math now, so I never will be.\\\" Understand this is not the case. Most people can improve at math with some extra hard work.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Help and Advice\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your teacher for help.\", \"描述\": \"Most teachers are enthusiastic about encouraging students. If you want to be better at math, do not hesitate to ask your teacher for help. He or she may be able to give you one-on-one attention and go over problems after class.\\nDo not feel bad about asking for help. Many people struggle with math, and your teacher has likely dealt with struggling students before. Your teacher is invested in seeing you succeed.\\nBe direct when asking for help, and explain the issue clearly. Do not say, \\\"I don't get any of this.\\\" Instead, say, \\\"I feel like I understand everything until chapter three, but polynomials are really confusing me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hire a tutor.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel you need a lot of one-on-one attention, consider hiring a tutor. A tutor can sit down with you a certain number of times per week and go over problems with you. A quality tutor can help math start to click for you, leading you to better understand the subject as a whole.\\nIf you have a learning disability that affects your competency at math, such as dyslexia, see if you can find a tutor who works with students with disabilities. National organizations associated with your disability may be able to find you a local tutor. A medical doctor may be able to refer you to a tutor as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have another person check your work.\", \"描述\": \"If you know someone who's good at math, have them look over your work when you're done. You can ask a parent for help, a tutor you hired, or a friend or family member who excels at math.\\nIf you're very confused, choose someone with a lot of patience who's good at explaining things. Your cousin may be a whiz at math, but he may be short-tempered and judgmental. He may snap at you for not understanding something. Instead, ask your sister who's usually calm.\\nDo not be embarrassed to ask for help. It can take a long time to improve your math skills, and everyone needs some help along the way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try enrolling in an online course.\", \"描述\": \"If you're trying to improve your math skills outside of school, you can try taking an online course. Universities like Kaplan provide an array of online courses, and many colleges have classes online students can take remotely.\\nSome schools provide certain aspects of a course, like PowerPoint presentations and taped lectures, for free online.\\nYou can also look into an auditing a course at a local college. If money is an issue, auditing a course can allow you to gain knowledge for no cost.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to your school's math resource center, if you have one.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in school, your school may have a math resource center. Many campuses have a center where students can go for one-on-one math tutoring. Check to see if a math center is available at your school. If it is, make use of the resource.\\nIf your school does not have a resource center, it may have a general resource center where you can get help on a variety of subjects.\\nYou can also see if your professor does review sessions. If you're confused by a subject, a review session with a professor can help you better understand that subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try to help someone else.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, explaining a concept to another person can help you understand it more. If you're finally getting your calculus course, and a friend is struggling, you could try offering to help him or her. You could also form a study group. If anyone is struggling with something you're beginning to understand, you can offer to help.\\nWhen helping, explain the subject material as clear as you possibly can. In addition to explaining the process, explain why it works.\\nIf you're beginning to feel very comfortable with your math skills, you could work as a private tutor for people at a lower level. Explaining math to others can help improve your math skills.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivating the Right Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adopt a positive attitude about math.\", \"描述\": \"Many people self-sabotage with math by convincing themselves they can't do it. If you struggled with math in high school, college, or at another point in your education, you may think you're not good at math and simply will not be able to do it. A positive attitude can help you stay motivated and feel encouraged as you attempt to hone your math skills.\\nIf you have a bad attitude, you will get frustrated easily. If you assume you're bad at math, when you get a problem wrong you will see that as a confirmation of this assumption. You will think to yourself, \\\"I knew I'm no good at this. What's the point?\\\"\\nGo into it with the right attitude. If you're currently struggling with math, don't think, \\\"I'm bad at math.\\\" Instead, think to yourself, \\\"I have not taken enough time to practice math, so I'm still learning. With some hard work, I know I can improve my skills.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reject the notion you are naturally bad at math.\", \"描述\": \"Many people convince themselves they're naturally bad at math. This can lead a person to not put in the work to improve. Understand that it's a myth that people have a natural tendency towards math. Studies show everyone can learn math with a little work.\\nSome people do have an inborn talent for math. This can help them gain an advantage early on, and they may learn more quickly in elementary school. However, most studies indicate hard work can improve your math skills just as much as a natural inclination. In fact, hard work may pay off more long term than innate talent.\\nThere are learning disorders, like dyscalculia, that can affect your ability to do math. However, even with a learning disability, you can improve your math skills with practice and proper treatment. Do not get discouraged. You are not simply bad at math. You just need practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take math seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Another reason people struggle with math is that they do not take it seriously. They feel it's okay to be bad at math, or laugh it off. While you should not feel bad about yourself for struggling with math, take it seriously as a subject.\\nThe ability to do math can help with your reasoning skills, and mental math can make your day-to-day life less stressful.\\nEmbrace math instead of disregarding it. Being good at math can be beneficial to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay motivated.\", \"描述\": \"Practice is really the only way to improve your math skills long term. There is really no magic trick that will improve your skills overnight. You just have to stay motivated. Keep up with your studies and ask for help when you need it. With some time and dedication, you can become a math whiz.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Math\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Study in a distraction-free environment.\", \"描述\": \"If you're not good at math yet, you need to make sure you're studying in an environment that allows for concentration. Before you sit down to practice, find a place free of outside stimuli that can cause a distraction.\\nFind an area where there is not a lot of noise or commotion. A quiet coffee shop could work, or a desk in your bedroom.\\nMinimize distractions in front of you. Disconnect from the internet and put away your phone.\\nIf you like music while studying, go for instrumental music. Music with lyrics, or music that's very loud, can be distracting when you're studying.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make time to practice each day.\", \"描述\": \"There's no real secret to becoming good at mathematics. It all comes down to dedication. If you want to improve your math score, hard work is key. You will have to practice every day until you start to understand the underlying concepts behind math.\\nStick to a schedule. See where you can fit in some study time every day. Maybe you usually have some time in the early evenings. You could plan to study math from 6 to 7 every night after dinner.\\nTry not to study for hours and hours straight. This may create stress. Study for an hour or so each night.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn the logic and process involved in solving a problem.\", \"描述\": \"Math is sequential. Many people feel they have to memorize concepts and formulas or map out the answer in their head before they begin. This is not productive. Instead, try to understand the concepts behind math. If you see how and why an equation works, you'll be able to remember it more easily in a pinch.\\nMath theory may seem complicated, but with a little hard work, you can begin to figure it out. In math classes, do not hesitate to ask why. Why does the Pythagorean Theorem work? How does the quadratic equation work on a logical level?\\nUnderstanding the underlying concepts is far more productive than simple memorization. If you understand something in depth, you'll have an easier time working with it. You'll be better equipped to check your answer if you understand why an equation makes sense.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work out a problem one step at a time.\", \"描述\": \"Doing math, you want to see how to discover an answer. Instead of pre-planning how you'll figure out the answer, simply work the equation one step at a time. Do not think ahead, as going slowly will allow you to see how the answer unfolds.\\nIf you first need to divide, concentrate only on dividing. If you need to add next, keep your focus on adding.\\nOnce you've completed the problem, you can go through and look at the process. Try to understand why and how the process worked.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Review incorrect answers carefully.\", \"描述\": \"You can learn a lot from your mistakes in math. When you find you have an incorrect answer, review your process. Where and how did you go wrong? Try to work through the problem again, figuring out how to get the correct answer.\\nIt's vital that you write down your process when solving math problems. Use a pen to write down the steps you took to solve a problem line by line. This way, when you make an error, you can review your work and figure out where you slipped up more easily.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Check your answers.\", \"描述\": \"Review your process after completing an equation. Carefully make sure you calculated everything correctly and used the right process. When you check to see if you got the answer right, you're more likely to have succeeded if you checked your answers carefully. This will also help you get in the habit of checking answers, which can boost grades on an exam.\\nChecking answers can also help you better understand the underlying theories behind math.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be embarrassed to ask questions when you are confused. Everyone asks questions.\\n\", \"Don't wait to study until the last minute if you have a test. Study a little bit each day.\\n\", \"Take your time. It may take you a while to solve a difficult problem.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,773 | How to Be Good at Murder Mystery 2 on Roblox | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand the game.
In these games, everyone has a role; they can be an Innocent, a Sheriff, or a Murderer. There will be one Murderer and one Sheriff per game, and the rest are Innocents. The goal is for the Sheriff to catch and kill the Murderer, while the Innocents have to stay alive.
1-2. Understand the role of the Innocents.
The Innocents try to survive from the murder and try to help out the Sheriff. If the Sheriff dies, Innocents can pick up the sheriff's gun where they died and kill the murderer, meaning the game can still be won.
1-3. Understand the role of the Sheriff.
As a Sheriff, your goal is to try to kill the murderer before he kills everyone - including you.
1-4. Understand the role of the Murderer.
As a Murderer, you try to kill everybody, even the Sheriff. Be careful of the Sheriff, though, or you'll be killed.
2. Playing as an Innocent
2-1. Find out who's the Murderer and the Sheriff.
Try to stay near people, but not too close to them. If the Murderer takes out their knife, run. Go to where the Sheriff is and tell him/her the Murderer or where a murder occurred.
2-2. Stay near the Sheriff.
In case they die, if you're near them, you have the chance to take the gun. You might kill the Murderer with the Sheriff's gun. Try not to follow the Sheriff, though, because this might make the sheriff think that you're the murderer.
2-3. Be wary of a Murderer's perks.
You might see someone taking out what looks to be a gun, but it could be a knife. If you see the murder's hand, looking like he/she is about to throw it, try to avoid it. In any Murder games, these Perks are found in Shops. Try to avoid these Perks from the Murderer.
2-4. Find the Sheriff's gun.
If the Sheriff dies, try to find the gun while trying to avoid the Murderer. Sometimes, the murderer will hang around the gun (otherwise known as camping). If that happens, don't get the gun; try to survive the round until the time is over.
2-5. Camp Around.
Only brave souls don't camp around, but if you have a weak soul, camp around. Find a safe spot for you to hide and a way to escape. Camping also is known as hiding, it can sometimes help many people.
2-6. Identify the murderer.
Sometimes, murderers have knifes, effects or guns that can help you to recognize them, like a murderer that has a boombox. This can also help you when you're a sheriff.
2-7. Identify perks.
Murderers sometimes have perks that they use for their own benefit, but you can maybe know if they have it. Murderers that have a fake gun will point their gun down, not ahead.
2-8. Don't follow the Sheriff while they’re shooting.
The Sheriff is trying to shoot someone, if you try to follow them while they’re shooting, they can accidentally kill you or miss the opportunity to shoot the murderer and be killed, along with you.
2-9. Alert the sheriff who's the murderer.
You can help the sheriff kill the murderer and win the round.
3. Playing as a Sheriff
3-1. Learn about your surroundings.
You have to know everything around you; pay attention to people and your surroundings. If you don't do this, you might miss who the Murderer is and they will kill you before you can even kill them.
3-2. Travel in groups.
Stay near people but not too close, and pay attention to the people around you. If anyone is coming right to you, run away, but don't take out your gun yet. If the person who is chasing you takes out their knife, take out your gun and try to shoot. If you miss, retreat to a group of people and try to shoot from there but be careful not to shoot the innocents.
3-3. Hide your gun.
When the round starts, don't immediately take your gun out - you have to be sneaky. Wait and see who's the Murderer; if you see a murder happen, remember their face, clothing, or name and run away, or stand in a position where you can kill the Murderer without getting killed. Now, take out your gun and kill them.
You can also run away from the Murderer and then take out your gun. After that, you can wait for the Murderer to come, or, alternatively, look for them.
3-4. Not the Innocents!
Many beginners do this but you are not allowed to shoot random people. You must find the actual murderer and shoot them. If you shoot random people, you will die.
3-5. Watch out for the scanners!
It can go red if you have a gun or a knife. If it goes red, the murder can know who the Sheriff is. (Only the bank map)
3-6. Caught red-handed!
Those scanners are also helpful. Whoever touches the scanner and it turns red, is the murderer. (Only the bank map)
3-7. Write down the innocents.
When you hear a murder going on, write down the names of people around you. This can help you know they are the innocents. If you keep adding innocents to your list, you can begin to rule out people and reveal the murderer. (Murderer can be someone that you haven't see in all the rooms you watched.)
3-8. Secretly spy on people A good way to know if a player is murderer is if they show their knife.
4. Playing as a Murderer
4-1. Identify the Sheriff.
To win as the murderer, you must know the Sheriff first. The Sheriff is the main victim in the game. If you don't kill the Sheriff, they will kill you. Always remember - the Sheriff is your biggest enemy in the game.
4-2. Hide your knife!
When the game begins, don't take your knife out; if you do, the innocents will see it and will report you to the sheriff. Rather, if you see the Sheriff, wait until you get near them, take out your knife, and quickly kill them.
4-3. Protect the gun.
When you kill the Sheriff, protect the gun from the innocents. If you don't protect it, the Innocents will get it and will have a chance to kill you. Stay near the gun but don’t stay around too long in order to prevent others from getting to it.
4-4. Kill and Go.
If time runs out and you hadn't expected your sheriff, you can start killing the innocent one on one secretly. You can also just kill whoever is in your way. Lastly, if you are not brave enough, just wait till the time runs out.
4-5. Caution!
Don't touch the scanners, it can reveal you as a murderer. (Only the bank map)
4-6. Watch and listen.
Make sure you listen for all the scanners. It might turn red and reveal your sheriff. (Only the bank map)
4-7. Kill secretly!
Explore the map so you know exits and hideaways. Search for people who are alone in a room or they are AFK. When you kill someone, make it quick and sharp. ALWAYS put your knife away after killing someone!
4-8. Play the innocent role.
Act and pretend that you are innocent. Some ways are like collecting coins. When someone comes near you, jump and run. In the chat, you can say "Help!", "Run!", " :O"..etc. But don't make it too obvious.
Tips
Know your surroundings.
Hide your Weapons.
If you're a Murderer, buy Perks to help you.
Warnings
Some tips only work for some maps!
Don't reveal your weapons, or you are more likely to be killed.
Never be a bully, it's a terrible thing to do and against Roblox's rules.
Radio gives away your location, always turn it off!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand the game.\\nIn these games, everyone has a role; they can be an Innocent, a Sheriff, or a Murderer. There will be one Murderer and one Sheriff per game, and the rest are Innocents. The goal is for the Sheriff to catch and kill the Murderer, while the Innocents have to stay alive.\\n1-2. Understand the role of the Innocents.\\nThe Innocents try to survive from the murder and try to help out the Sheriff. If the Sheriff dies, Innocents can pick up the sheriff's gun where they died and kill the murderer, meaning the game can still be won.\\n1-3. Understand the role of the Sheriff.\\nAs a Sheriff, your goal is to try to kill the murderer before he kills everyone - including you.\\n1-4. Understand the role of the Murderer.\\nAs a Murderer, you try to kill everybody, even the Sheriff. Be careful of the Sheriff, though, or you'll be killed.\\n2. Playing as an Innocent\\n2-1. Find out who's the Murderer and the Sheriff.\\nTry to stay near people, but not too close to them. If the Murderer takes out their knife, run. Go to where the Sheriff is and tell him/her the Murderer or where a murder occurred.\\n2-2. Stay near the Sheriff.\\nIn case they die, if you're near them, you have the chance to take the gun. You might kill the Murderer with the Sheriff's gun. Try not to follow the Sheriff, though, because this might make the sheriff think that you're the murderer.\\n2-3. Be wary of a Murderer's perks.\\nYou might see someone taking out what looks to be a gun, but it could be a knife. If you see the murder's hand, looking like he/she is about to throw it, try to avoid it. In any Murder games, these Perks are found in Shops. Try to avoid these Perks from the Murderer.\\n2-4. Find the Sheriff's gun.\\nIf the Sheriff dies, try to find the gun while trying to avoid the Murderer. Sometimes, the murderer will hang around the gun (otherwise known as camping). If that happens, don't get the gun; try to survive the round until the time is over.\\n2-5. Camp Around.\\nOnly brave souls don't camp around, but if you have a weak soul, camp around. Find a safe spot for you to hide and a way to escape. Camping also is known as hiding, it can sometimes help many people.\\n2-6. Identify the murderer.\\nSometimes, murderers have knifes, effects or guns that can help you to recognize them, like a murderer that has a boombox. This can also help you when you're a sheriff.\\n2-7. Identify perks.\\nMurderers sometimes have perks that they use for their own benefit, but you can maybe know if they have it. Murderers that have a fake gun will point their gun down, not ahead.\\n2-8. Don't follow the Sheriff while they’re shooting.\\nThe Sheriff is trying to shoot someone, if you try to follow them while they’re shooting, they can accidentally kill you or miss the opportunity to shoot the murderer and be killed, along with you.\\n2-9. Alert the sheriff who's the murderer.\\nYou can help the sheriff kill the murderer and win the round.\\n3. Playing as a Sheriff\\n3-1. Learn about your surroundings.\\nYou have to know everything around you; pay attention to people and your surroundings. If you don't do this, you might miss who the Murderer is and they will kill you before you can even kill them.\\n3-2. Travel in groups.\\nStay near people but not too close, and pay attention to the people around you. If anyone is coming right to you, run away, but don't take out your gun yet. If the person who is chasing you takes out their knife, take out your gun and try to shoot. If you miss, retreat to a group of people and try to shoot from there but be careful not to shoot the innocents.\\n3-3. Hide your gun.\\nWhen the round starts, don't immediately take your gun out - you have to be sneaky. Wait and see who's the Murderer; if you see a murder happen, remember their face, clothing, or name and run away, or stand in a position where you can kill the Murderer without getting killed. Now, take out your gun and kill them.\\nYou can also run away from the Murderer and then take out your gun. After that, you can wait for the Murderer to come, or, alternatively, look for them.\\n3-4. Not the Innocents!\\nMany beginners do this but you are not allowed to shoot random people. You must find the actual murderer and shoot them. If you shoot random people, you will die.\\n3-5. Watch out for the scanners!\\nIt can go red if you have a gun or a knife. If it goes red, the murder can know who the Sheriff is. (Only the bank map)\\n3-6. Caught red-handed!\\nThose scanners are also helpful. Whoever touches the scanner and it turns red, is the murderer. (Only the bank map)\\n3-7. Write down the innocents.\\nWhen you hear a murder going on, write down the names of people around you. This can help you know they are the innocents. If you keep adding innocents to your list, you can begin to rule out people and reveal the murderer. (Murderer can be someone that you haven't see in all the rooms you watched.)\\n3-8. Secretly spy on people A good way to know if a player is murderer is if they show their knife.\\n\\n4. Playing as a Murderer\\n4-1. Identify the Sheriff.\\nTo win as the murderer, you must know the Sheriff first. The Sheriff is the main victim in the game. If you don't kill the Sheriff, they will kill you. Always remember - the Sheriff is your biggest enemy in the game.\\n4-2. Hide your knife!\\nWhen the game begins, don't take your knife out; if you do, the innocents will see it and will report you to the sheriff. Rather, if you see the Sheriff, wait until you get near them, take out your knife, and quickly kill them.\\n4-3. Protect the gun.\\nWhen you kill the Sheriff, protect the gun from the innocents. If you don't protect it, the Innocents will get it and will have a chance to kill you. Stay near the gun but don’t stay around too long in order to prevent others from getting to it.\\n4-4. Kill and Go.\\nIf time runs out and you hadn't expected your sheriff, you can start killing the innocent one on one secretly. You can also just kill whoever is in your way. Lastly, if you are not brave enough, just wait till the time runs out.\\n4-5. Caution!\\nDon't touch the scanners, it can reveal you as a murderer. (Only the bank map)\\n4-6. Watch and listen.\\nMake sure you listen for all the scanners. It might turn red and reveal your sheriff. (Only the bank map)\\n4-7. Kill secretly!\\nExplore the map so you know exits and hideaways. Search for people who are alone in a room or they are AFK. When you kill someone, make it quick and sharp. ALWAYS put your knife away after killing someone!\\n4-8. Play the innocent role.\\nAct and pretend that you are innocent. Some ways are like collecting coins. When someone comes near you, jump and run. In the chat, you can say \\\"Help!\\\", \\\"Run!\\\", \\\" :O\\\"..etc. But don't make it too obvious.\\nTips\\nKnow your surroundings.\\nHide your Weapons.\\nIf you're a Murderer, buy Perks to help you.\\nWarnings\\nSome tips only work for some maps!\\nDon't reveal your weapons, or you are more likely to be killed.\\nNever be a bully, it's a terrible thing to do and against Roblox's rules.\\nRadio gives away your location, always turn it off!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"MM2, also known as Murder Mystery 2, is a fun and exciting game. Over the years, Roblox has hosted many series of Murder Mystery games, such as The Mad Murder, Mad Games, Murder Mystery, Twisted Murderer, and many others! These games are very complicated for most players to play, but they're fun and easy to understand with a few tips.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand the game.\", \"描述\": \"In these games, everyone has a role; they can be an Innocent, a Sheriff, or a Murderer. There will be one Murderer and one Sheriff per game, and the rest are Innocents. The goal is for the Sheriff to catch and kill the Murderer, while the Innocents have to stay alive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand the role of the Innocents.\", \"描述\": \"The Innocents try to survive from the murder and try to help out the Sheriff. If the Sheriff dies, Innocents can pick up the sheriff's gun where they died and kill the murderer, meaning the game can still be won.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand the role of the Sheriff.\", \"描述\": \"As a Sheriff, your goal is to try to kill the murderer before he kills everyone - including you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand the role of the Murderer.\", \"描述\": \"As a Murderer, you try to kill everybody, even the Sheriff. Be careful of the Sheriff, though, or you'll be killed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Playing as an Innocent\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out who's the Murderer and the Sheriff.\", \"描述\": \"Try to stay near people, but not too close to them. If the Murderer takes out their knife, run. Go to where the Sheriff is and tell him/her the Murderer or where a murder occurred.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay near the Sheriff.\", \"描述\": \"In case they die, if you're near them, you have the chance to take the gun. You might kill the Murderer with the Sheriff's gun. Try not to follow the Sheriff, though, because this might make the sheriff think that you're the murderer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be wary of a Murderer's perks.\", \"描述\": \"You might see someone taking out what looks to be a gun, but it could be a knife. If you see the murder's hand, looking like he/she is about to throw it, try to avoid it. In any Murder games, these Perks are found in Shops. Try to avoid these Perks from the Murderer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find the Sheriff's gun.\", \"描述\": \"If the Sheriff dies, try to find the gun while trying to avoid the Murderer. Sometimes, the murderer will hang around the gun (otherwise known as camping). If that happens, don't get the gun; try to survive the round until the time is over.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Camp Around.\", \"描述\": \"Only brave souls don't camp around, but if you have a weak soul, camp around. Find a safe spot for you to hide and a way to escape. Camping also is known as hiding, it can sometimes help many people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Identify the murderer.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, murderers have knifes, effects or guns that can help you to recognize them, like a murderer that has a boombox. This can also help you when you're a sheriff.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Identify perks.\", \"描述\": \"Murderers sometimes have perks that they use for their own benefit, but you can maybe know if they have it. Murderers that have a fake gun will point their gun down, not ahead.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don't follow the Sheriff while they’re shooting.\", \"描述\": \"The Sheriff is trying to shoot someone, if you try to follow them while they’re shooting, they can accidentally kill you or miss the opportunity to shoot the murderer and be killed, along with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Alert the sheriff who's the murderer.\", \"描述\": \"You can help the sheriff kill the murderer and win the round.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Playing as a Sheriff\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"You have to know everything around you; pay attention to people and your surroundings. If you don't do this, you might miss who the Murderer is and they will kill you before you can even kill them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Travel in groups.\", \"描述\": \"Stay near people but not too close, and pay attention to the people around you. If anyone is coming right to you, run away, but don't take out your gun yet. If the person who is chasing you takes out their knife, take out your gun and try to shoot. If you miss, retreat to a group of people and try to shoot from there but be careful not to shoot the innocents.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hide your gun.\", \"描述\": \"When the round starts, don't immediately take your gun out - you have to be sneaky. Wait and see who's the Murderer; if you see a murder happen, remember their face, clothing, or name and run away, or stand in a position where you can kill the Murderer without getting killed. Now, take out your gun and kill them.\\nYou can also run away from the Murderer and then take out your gun. After that, you can wait for the Murderer to come, or, alternatively, look for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Not the Innocents!\", \"描述\": \"Many beginners do this but you are not allowed to shoot random people. You must find the actual murderer and shoot them. If you shoot random people, you will die.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Watch out for the scanners!\", \"描述\": \"It can go red if you have a gun or a knife. If it goes red, the murder can know who the Sheriff is. (Only the bank map)\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Caught red-handed!\", \"描述\": \"Those scanners are also helpful. Whoever touches the scanner and it turns red, is the murderer. (Only the bank map)\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Write down the innocents.\", \"描述\": \"When you hear a murder going on, write down the names of people around you. This can help you know they are the innocents. If you keep adding innocents to your list, you can begin to rule out people and reveal the murderer. (Murderer can be someone that you haven't see in all the rooms you watched.)\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Secretly spy on people A good way to know if a player is murderer is if they show their knife.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Playing as a Murderer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify the Sheriff.\", \"描述\": \"To win as the murderer, you must know the Sheriff first. The Sheriff is the main victim in the game. If you don't kill the Sheriff, they will kill you. Always remember - the Sheriff is your biggest enemy in the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hide your knife!\", \"描述\": \"When the game begins, don't take your knife out; if you do, the innocents will see it and will report you to the sheriff. Rather, if you see the Sheriff, wait until you get near them, take out your knife, and quickly kill them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Protect the gun.\", \"描述\": \"When you kill the Sheriff, protect the gun from the innocents. If you don't protect it, the Innocents will get it and will have a chance to kill you. Stay near the gun but don’t stay around too long in order to prevent others from getting to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Kill and Go.\", \"描述\": \"If time runs out and you hadn't expected your sheriff, you can start killing the innocent one on one secretly. You can also just kill whoever is in your way. Lastly, if you are not brave enough, just wait till the time runs out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Caution!\", \"描述\": \"Don't touch the scanners, it can reveal you as a murderer. (Only the bank map)\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Watch and listen.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you listen for all the scanners. It might turn red and reveal your sheriff. (Only the bank map)\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Kill secretly!\", \"描述\": \"Explore the map so you know exits and hideaways. Search for people who are alone in a room or they are AFK. When you kill someone, make it quick and sharp. ALWAYS put your knife away after killing someone!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Play the innocent role.\", \"描述\": \"Act and pretend that you are innocent. Some ways are like collecting coins. When someone comes near you, jump and run. In the chat, you can say \\\"Help!\\\", \\\"Run!\\\", \\\" :O\\\"..etc. But don't make it too obvious.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Know your surroundings.\\n\", \"Hide your Weapons.\\n\", \"If you're a Murderer, buy Perks to help you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some tips only work for some maps!\\n\", \"Don't reveal your weapons, or you are more likely to be killed.\\n\", \"Never be a bully, it's a terrible thing to do and against Roblox's rules.\\n\", \"Radio gives away your location, always turn it off!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,774 | How to Be Good at Ping Pong | 1. Starting Out
1-1. Purchase a good paddle.
You need one with a good head that still has all or most of the grip on it. If you're a beginner, choose a beginner paddle – they're designed for less spin and speed on hard-to-return balls. If you're ready for something a bit more advanced, get a medium-fast blade for optimal control and emphasis on technique.
If you use the European "shake-hand" grip, purchase the correct bat as opposed to the Asian "pen-hold" grip which has a shorter grip.
When selecting your first bat, do not purchase a bat which is advertised as being extremely spinny and/or powerful, tempting though it may be. Know your level. If you don't, it will be detrimental to you as you begin playing.
1-2. Start playing in a ready stance.
Your body needs to be balanced, relaxed, and ready to move in any direction. In fact, after every stroke, you should aim to return to ready position. Make sure your playing arm is ready to hit the ball, too.
If you have a better forehand, stand a little more to the left and vice versa if you have a stronger backhand.
If you are right-handed, stand generally to you're left with your right foot slightly forward. If you are left handed, stand generally to your right with your left foot slightly forward.
1-3. Be ready to move swiftly.
The ball can go just about anywhere depending on how it is placed and how it is curved. If you stick to your ready stance, you'll have more physical speed at the get-go. Use it! A speedy opponent is often hard to beat.
Stay reasonably fit. Go jogging and do some dynamic stretching before playing to warm your body and reflexes up.
1-4. Aim for corners.
If you manage to get the ball to land in a corner, it is almost impossible to hit even for experienced players. Edges of the table work, too. However, if you're not skilled enough to aim the ball precisely, don't risk it. You could lose a point if the ball goes off the table.
This can be a highly strategic move when combined with speed. One minute you're sending a fastball to the far edge of the table and the next you're sending a snail just in front of their net on the right ledge. Corners are especially tricky when your opponent doesn't know what to expect.
1-5. Keep your returns low over the net.
Remember this rule: less space means less angle. The lower you send your ball over the net, the harder it is for your opponent to put some fancy angle on the ball. It will also be difficult for them to hit the ball with significant power.
There is, however, an exception to this rule: lobs. In this case, send the ball incredibly high over the net and place it on the very edge of the table, encouraging your opponent to miss.
1-6. Know your fouls.
There are many fouls and things that are considered points for the other team. For example, if you bounce the ball twice before it goes over it is a loss of point. Also in serving, it is compulsory to throw the ball up 6 inches (15.2 cm) above your hand or it is a foul.
Don't know your fouls? Then you could lose the game anyway – sort of like not knowing that you can't scratch on the 8-ball in pool. Make sure you're familiar with the basic rules of ping-pong before you go into any seriously competitive games.
2. Developing Your Technique
2-1. Curve or add spin to the ball
Curves can be hard, but once mastered; they can save your game. Here's a few things to keep in mind:
Watch the angle of your opponent's racket. If it's moving from low to high, you can expect topspin (spins upward). From high to low, backspin (spins downward). From left to right, ride sidespin, and from right to left, left sidespin.
You can compensate for spin with your racket angle. If you're facing a ball with topspin, angle your racket down and hit to ball above its center. If you're facing a ball with backspin, angle the racket up and hit the ball below its center. If right sidespin, angle the racket to the right and hit the ball on the left. If left, angle the racket to the left and hit the ball on the right.
Master the art of the sidespin, too. This can severely limit your opponent's options when it comes to returning the ball. Experiment with hitting the ball on the right or left and drawing it to center, creating a sidespin. Often the ball won't go where your opponent expects it to go.
2-2. Use your whole body, especially when you stroke your forehand.
Your whole body is what gives you power – not just your arm or wrist. You need to swift and agile, using your hips and shoulders, too.
To stroke your forehand, rotate your hips and shoulders backwards during the backswing. Then come forward as you complete the swing. This transfer of body weight gives your swing more power and oomph. If also leads to a consistent attack.
2-3. Mix up your length and speed.
Even if you don't have your technique down 100%, if you play like a madman with no consistency, you'll be able to psych your opponent out. Go deep, go short, use spin, hit it straight, go pure speed, ride the ledge, etc. Keep the competition on its toes.
To make this easier on you, use that ready stance. Be ready to transfer your weight at any point, but especially after serves and in between strokes. Be ready for an attack at any given moment.
2-4. Relax your body.
Remember that the ball weighs almost nothing. It's always spinning, too. If you come at it with a tight grip and with hard, stiff force, you're going to kill it in mid-air. Before you get into a game, loosen up your body and your grip. It just needs a light touch, whether the ball comes to you or whether you have to go chasing after it.
Relax your mind, too. If you lose control of your temper, you might as well hand over the game. If you've missed several shots in a row, don't get mad – get even. Never give up until the game is over. In ping pong, the tide can turn in a heartbeat.
3. Getting Better and Better
3-1. Use only your own racket.
Every racket is different. They all have their own feel and their own unique characteristics. If you want to sit back and relax, playing your top game, use your own racket. You know how to work it and what to expect from it unlike any other. If you use someone else's game, your performance will not be consistent.
Because this racket is like your right arm, take good care of it. Keep it in a case when you're not using it. Wash it with warm soap and water if it has a smooth surface (inverted sponge rubber). Alternatively, use a racket cleaner to keep it in tip-top condition.
3-2. Practice alone.
If you need to get to a point where your strokes are consistent, try practicing alone against a wall. Practice each type of shot, working on your spin, length, and speed. This will also help you get a feel for your racket and know exactly what nuance each stroke needs.
You can also use the floor for spins. Practice hitting it downward and getting it to come right back to you. Then move onto different angles, too.
3-3. Practice all the time.
Practice doesn't make perfect, but it makes habit. If you're practicing all the time, you'll learn what to expect even from yourself. Your shots will be consistent and you'll be able to aim the ball within an inch of its life. So whether you're practicing alone, with a friend, or competitively, do it.
However, in the beginning, stick to practice and not competing. It's easy to get frustrated with something that seems so simple, even though it's not. There's a reason it's a competitive sport in certain areas of the world.
3-4. Train until your strokes become second nature.
When you just start off in a sport or in developing a skill, all your mental energy and focus is going to think it out. In order to relax and truly develop your technique, you'll need to get past that stage. Keep playing until the strokes become automatic and you don't have to think about what you're doing with the ball or where it's going to go.
Think of it like driving. At first, you were so nervous, taking in all the stimuli around you. Now you can drive and not even remember getting there. Ping pong is the same. Just relax and let it happen.
3-5. Join a league or club.
If the only people you know who play are your uncle and the 8-year-old down the block, your game is never going to improve. Join a league or club in your area to find like-minded individuals that can put your skills to the test. And it doesn't matter your level, either; most clubs welcome all players, from beginner to practically professional.
USA Table Tennis has a great website listing all clubs affiliated with their organization; take a gander at the page to find one in your area. Their clubs also come with coaches who can help you work on your weaknesses and develop your strengths, too.
Tips
Experiment with different types of serves. Move away from the table and experiment with distance, too.
Warnings
Don't grip the paddle too hard, you'll bruise your fingers! You also will not be able to hit spin effectively.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting Out\\n1-1. Purchase a good paddle.\\nYou need one with a good head that still has all or most of the grip on it. If you're a beginner, choose a beginner paddle – they're designed for less spin and speed on hard-to-return balls. If you're ready for something a bit more advanced, get a medium-fast blade for optimal control and emphasis on technique.\\nIf you use the European \\\"shake-hand\\\" grip, purchase the correct bat as opposed to the Asian \\\"pen-hold\\\" grip which has a shorter grip.\\nWhen selecting your first bat, do not purchase a bat which is advertised as being extremely spinny and/or powerful, tempting though it may be. Know your level. If you don't, it will be detrimental to you as you begin playing.\\n1-2. Start playing in a ready stance.\\nYour body needs to be balanced, relaxed, and ready to move in any direction. In fact, after every stroke, you should aim to return to ready position. Make sure your playing arm is ready to hit the ball, too.\\nIf you have a better forehand, stand a little more to the left and vice versa if you have a stronger backhand.\\nIf you are right-handed, stand generally to you're left with your right foot slightly forward. If you are left handed, stand generally to your right with your left foot slightly forward.\\n1-3. Be ready to move swiftly.\\nThe ball can go just about anywhere depending on how it is placed and how it is curved. If you stick to your ready stance, you'll have more physical speed at the get-go. Use it! A speedy opponent is often hard to beat.\\nStay reasonably fit. Go jogging and do some dynamic stretching before playing to warm your body and reflexes up.\\n1-4. Aim for corners.\\nIf you manage to get the ball to land in a corner, it is almost impossible to hit even for experienced players. Edges of the table work, too. However, if you're not skilled enough to aim the ball precisely, don't risk it. You could lose a point if the ball goes off the table.\\nThis can be a highly strategic move when combined with speed. One minute you're sending a fastball to the far edge of the table and the next you're sending a snail just in front of their net on the right ledge. Corners are especially tricky when your opponent doesn't know what to expect.\\n1-5. Keep your returns low over the net.\\nRemember this rule: less space means less angle. The lower you send your ball over the net, the harder it is for your opponent to put some fancy angle on the ball. It will also be difficult for them to hit the ball with significant power.\\nThere is, however, an exception to this rule: lobs. In this case, send the ball incredibly high over the net and place it on the very edge of the table, encouraging your opponent to miss.\\n1-6. Know your fouls.\\nThere are many fouls and things that are considered points for the other team. For example, if you bounce the ball twice before it goes over it is a loss of point. Also in serving, it is compulsory to throw the ball up 6 inches (15.2 cm) above your hand or it is a foul.\\nDon't know your fouls? Then you could lose the game anyway – sort of like not knowing that you can't scratch on the 8-ball in pool. Make sure you're familiar with the basic rules of ping-pong before you go into any seriously competitive games.\\n2. Developing Your Technique\\n2-1. Curve or add spin to the ball\\nCurves can be hard, but once mastered; they can save your game. Here's a few things to keep in mind:\\nWatch the angle of your opponent's racket. If it's moving from low to high, you can expect topspin (spins upward). From high to low, backspin (spins downward). From left to right, ride sidespin, and from right to left, left sidespin.\\nYou can compensate for spin with your racket angle. If you're facing a ball with topspin, angle your racket down and hit to ball above its center. If you're facing a ball with backspin, angle the racket up and hit the ball below its center. If right sidespin, angle the racket to the right and hit the ball on the left. If left, angle the racket to the left and hit the ball on the right.\\nMaster the art of the sidespin, too. This can severely limit your opponent's options when it comes to returning the ball. Experiment with hitting the ball on the right or left and drawing it to center, creating a sidespin. Often the ball won't go where your opponent expects it to go.\\n2-2. Use your whole body, especially when you stroke your forehand.\\nYour whole body is what gives you power – not just your arm or wrist. You need to swift and agile, using your hips and shoulders, too.\\nTo stroke your forehand, rotate your hips and shoulders backwards during the backswing. Then come forward as you complete the swing. This transfer of body weight gives your swing more power and oomph. If also leads to a consistent attack.\\n2-3. Mix up your length and speed.\\nEven if you don't have your technique down 100%, if you play like a madman with no consistency, you'll be able to psych your opponent out. Go deep, go short, use spin, hit it straight, go pure speed, ride the ledge, etc. Keep the competition on its toes.\\nTo make this easier on you, use that ready stance. Be ready to transfer your weight at any point, but especially after serves and in between strokes. Be ready for an attack at any given moment.\\n2-4. Relax your body.\\nRemember that the ball weighs almost nothing. It's always spinning, too. If you come at it with a tight grip and with hard, stiff force, you're going to kill it in mid-air. Before you get into a game, loosen up your body and your grip. It just needs a light touch, whether the ball comes to you or whether you have to go chasing after it.\\nRelax your mind, too. If you lose control of your temper, you might as well hand over the game. If you've missed several shots in a row, don't get mad – get even. Never give up until the game is over. In ping pong, the tide can turn in a heartbeat.\\n3. Getting Better and Better\\n3-1. Use only your own racket.\\nEvery racket is different. They all have their own feel and their own unique characteristics. If you want to sit back and relax, playing your top game, use your own racket. You know how to work it and what to expect from it unlike any other. If you use someone else's game, your performance will not be consistent.\\nBecause this racket is like your right arm, take good care of it. Keep it in a case when you're not using it. Wash it with warm soap and water if it has a smooth surface (inverted sponge rubber). Alternatively, use a racket cleaner to keep it in tip-top condition.\\n3-2. Practice alone.\\nIf you need to get to a point where your strokes are consistent, try practicing alone against a wall. Practice each type of shot, working on your spin, length, and speed. This will also help you get a feel for your racket and know exactly what nuance each stroke needs.\\nYou can also use the floor for spins. Practice hitting it downward and getting it to come right back to you. Then move onto different angles, too.\\n3-3. Practice all the time.\\nPractice doesn't make perfect, but it makes habit. If you're practicing all the time, you'll learn what to expect even from yourself. Your shots will be consistent and you'll be able to aim the ball within an inch of its life. So whether you're practicing alone, with a friend, or competitively, do it.\\nHowever, in the beginning, stick to practice and not competing. It's easy to get frustrated with something that seems so simple, even though it's not. There's a reason it's a competitive sport in certain areas of the world.\\n3-4. Train until your strokes become second nature.\\nWhen you just start off in a sport or in developing a skill, all your mental energy and focus is going to think it out. In order to relax and truly develop your technique, you'll need to get past that stage. Keep playing until the strokes become automatic and you don't have to think about what you're doing with the ball or where it's going to go.\\nThink of it like driving. At first, you were so nervous, taking in all the stimuli around you. Now you can drive and not even remember getting there. Ping pong is the same. Just relax and let it happen.\\n3-5. Join a league or club.\\nIf the only people you know who play are your uncle and the 8-year-old down the block, your game is never going to improve. Join a league or club in your area to find like-minded individuals that can put your skills to the test. And it doesn't matter your level, either; most clubs welcome all players, from beginner to practically professional.\\nUSA Table Tennis has a great website listing all clubs affiliated with their organization; take a gander at the page to find one in your area. Their clubs also come with coaches who can help you work on your weaknesses and develop your strengths, too.\\nTips\\nExperiment with different types of serves. Move away from the table and experiment with distance, too.\\nWarnings\\nDon't grip the paddle too hard, you'll bruise your fingers! You also will not be able to hit spin effectively.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Ping pong sometimes gets a bad rap. In some circles, it's a way to kill 5 minutes in your basement. In others, it's a sport where the top contenders get paid in the millions. If you're looking to turn your hobby into a veritable skill, grab your racket and let's get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Purchase a good paddle.\", \"描述\": \"You need one with a good head that still has all or most of the grip on it. If you're a beginner, choose a beginner paddle – they're designed for less spin and speed on hard-to-return balls. If you're ready for something a bit more advanced, get a medium-fast blade for optimal control and emphasis on technique.\\nIf you use the European \\\"shake-hand\\\" grip, purchase the correct bat as opposed to the Asian \\\"pen-hold\\\" grip which has a shorter grip.\\nWhen selecting your first bat, do not purchase a bat which is advertised as being extremely spinny and/or powerful, tempting though it may be. Know your level. If you don't, it will be detrimental to you as you begin playing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start playing in a ready stance.\", \"描述\": \"Your body needs to be balanced, relaxed, and ready to move in any direction. In fact, after every stroke, you should aim to return to ready position. Make sure your playing arm is ready to hit the ball, too.\\nIf you have a better forehand, stand a little more to the left and vice versa if you have a stronger backhand.\\nIf you are right-handed, stand generally to you're left with your right foot slightly forward. If you are left handed, stand generally to your right with your left foot slightly forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be ready to move swiftly.\", \"描述\": \"The ball can go just about anywhere depending on how it is placed and how it is curved. If you stick to your ready stance, you'll have more physical speed at the get-go. Use it! A speedy opponent is often hard to beat.\\nStay reasonably fit. Go jogging and do some dynamic stretching before playing to warm your body and reflexes up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Aim for corners.\", \"描述\": \"If you manage to get the ball to land in a corner, it is almost impossible to hit even for experienced players. Edges of the table work, too. However, if you're not skilled enough to aim the ball precisely, don't risk it. You could lose a point if the ball goes off the table.\\nThis can be a highly strategic move when combined with speed. One minute you're sending a fastball to the far edge of the table and the next you're sending a snail just in front of their net on the right ledge. Corners are especially tricky when your opponent doesn't know what to expect.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your returns low over the net.\", \"描述\": \"Remember this rule: less space means less angle. The lower you send your ball over the net, the harder it is for your opponent to put some fancy angle on the ball. It will also be difficult for them to hit the ball with significant power.\\nThere is, however, an exception to this rule: lobs. In this case, send the ball incredibly high over the net and place it on the very edge of the table, encouraging your opponent to miss.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know your fouls.\", \"描述\": \"There are many fouls and things that are considered points for the other team. For example, if you bounce the ball twice before it goes over it is a loss of point. Also in serving, it is compulsory to throw the ball up 6 inches (15.2 cm) above your hand or it is a foul.\\nDon't know your fouls? Then you could lose the game anyway – sort of like not knowing that you can't scratch on the 8-ball in pool. Make sure you're familiar with the basic rules of ping-pong before you go into any seriously competitive games.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Your Technique\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Curve or add spin to the ball\", \"描述\": \"Curves can be hard, but once mastered; they can save your game. Here's a few things to keep in mind:\\nWatch the angle of your opponent's racket. If it's moving from low to high, you can expect topspin (spins upward). From high to low, backspin (spins downward). From left to right, ride sidespin, and from right to left, left sidespin.\\nYou can compensate for spin with your racket angle. If you're facing a ball with topspin, angle your racket down and hit to ball above its center. If you're facing a ball with backspin, angle the racket up and hit the ball below its center. If right sidespin, angle the racket to the right and hit the ball on the left. If left, angle the racket to the left and hit the ball on the right.\\nMaster the art of the sidespin, too. This can severely limit your opponent's options when it comes to returning the ball. Experiment with hitting the ball on the right or left and drawing it to center, creating a sidespin. Often the ball won't go where your opponent expects it to go.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use your whole body, especially when you stroke your forehand.\", \"描述\": \"Your whole body is what gives you power – not just your arm or wrist. You need to swift and agile, using your hips and shoulders, too.\\nTo stroke your forehand, rotate your hips and shoulders backwards during the backswing. Then come forward as you complete the swing. This transfer of body weight gives your swing more power and oomph. If also leads to a consistent attack.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mix up your length and speed.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't have your technique down 100%, if you play like a madman with no consistency, you'll be able to psych your opponent out. Go deep, go short, use spin, hit it straight, go pure speed, ride the ledge, etc. Keep the competition on its toes.\\nTo make this easier on you, use that ready stance. Be ready to transfer your weight at any point, but especially after serves and in between strokes. Be ready for an attack at any given moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Relax your body.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that the ball weighs almost nothing. It's always spinning, too. If you come at it with a tight grip and with hard, stiff force, you're going to kill it in mid-air. Before you get into a game, loosen up your body and your grip. It just needs a light touch, whether the ball comes to you or whether you have to go chasing after it.\\nRelax your mind, too. If you lose control of your temper, you might as well hand over the game. If you've missed several shots in a row, don't get mad – get even. Never give up until the game is over. In ping pong, the tide can turn in a heartbeat.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Better and Better\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use only your own racket.\", \"描述\": \"Every racket is different. They all have their own feel and their own unique characteristics. If you want to sit back and relax, playing your top game, use your own racket. You know how to work it and what to expect from it unlike any other. If you use someone else's game, your performance will not be consistent.\\nBecause this racket is like your right arm, take good care of it. Keep it in a case when you're not using it. Wash it with warm soap and water if it has a smooth surface (inverted sponge rubber). Alternatively, use a racket cleaner to keep it in tip-top condition.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice alone.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to get to a point where your strokes are consistent, try practicing alone against a wall. Practice each type of shot, working on your spin, length, and speed. This will also help you get a feel for your racket and know exactly what nuance each stroke needs.\\nYou can also use the floor for spins. Practice hitting it downward and getting it to come right back to you. Then move onto different angles, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice all the time.\", \"描述\": \"Practice doesn't make perfect, but it makes habit. If you're practicing all the time, you'll learn what to expect even from yourself. Your shots will be consistent and you'll be able to aim the ball within an inch of its life. So whether you're practicing alone, with a friend, or competitively, do it.\\nHowever, in the beginning, stick to practice and not competing. It's easy to get frustrated with something that seems so simple, even though it's not. There's a reason it's a competitive sport in certain areas of the world.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Train until your strokes become second nature.\", \"描述\": \"When you just start off in a sport or in developing a skill, all your mental energy and focus is going to think it out. In order to relax and truly develop your technique, you'll need to get past that stage. Keep playing until the strokes become automatic and you don't have to think about what you're doing with the ball or where it's going to go.\\nThink of it like driving. At first, you were so nervous, taking in all the stimuli around you. Now you can drive and not even remember getting there. Ping pong is the same. Just relax and let it happen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join a league or club.\", \"描述\": \"If the only people you know who play are your uncle and the 8-year-old down the block, your game is never going to improve. Join a league or club in your area to find like-minded individuals that can put your skills to the test. And it doesn't matter your level, either; most clubs welcome all players, from beginner to practically professional.\\nUSA Table Tennis has a great website listing all clubs affiliated with their organization; take a gander at the page to find one in your area. Their clubs also come with coaches who can help you work on your weaknesses and develop your strengths, too.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Experiment with different types of serves. Move away from the table and experiment with distance, too.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't grip the paddle too hard, you'll bruise your fingers! You also will not be able to hit spin effectively.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,775 | How to Be Good at Small Talk | 1. Reducing Anxiety in Social Settings
1-1. Practice.
Small talk is like any other skill. It takes practice to master. If you want to be better at small talk, practice making small talk whenever you can.
Choose low stakes situations to practice small talk. If you're going to a party on Friday, you may be very nervous about making small talk with potential new friends. Therefore, work on making small talk during less intense social situations.
For example, make small talk at the line in the grocery store. Try to strike up small talk with a barista at a coffee shop. If you're making small talk with people you're unlikely to see again, you may be calmer.
1-2. Stay positive during small talk.
If you're stressed when making small talk, this is likely to rub off on other people. Therefore, work on developing a positive mentality surrounding small talk. Going into the situation positive can make it a more positive experience for everyone. This can make small talk easier, easing your social anxiety in future situations.
Change how you think about small talk. Don't think of it as a burden. Instead, look at it as a way to get to know new people.
Try doing something to relax, like taking a few deep breaths, before going into a situation that requires small talk. You will end up calmer during the situation, and better equipped to make small talk in a positive manner.
1-3. Learn people's names.
You may feel anxious going into a social situation where you don't know anyone. Something as simple as learning people's names can help. In places where you need to make small talk, like your office, work on learning the names of co-workers.
After you've heard someone's name the first time, repeat it once or twice in your head. This can help you commit the name to memory.
Repeating the person’s name out loud when you meet can also be helpful, such as by saying something like, "Nice to meet you, John."
You can also try coming up with a way to connect the name to something familiar to you and this may help you to remember. For example, you might think to yourself, "John with the tweed blazer," or "John rhymes with Sean my brother," or "John, like my uncle John.”
Remember, you can always ask a third party for someone's name if you forgot it.
1-4. Remember other people get anxious.
Sometimes, just knowing you're not alone can help you make small talk. Going into a social situation, remind yourself that everyone gets nervous. You are probably not the only one feeling anxious during small talk. When you start to feel social anxiety coming on, remind yourself the other person is likely as anxious as you are.
1-5. Listen actively.
Being a good listener is important even when you are just making small talk. Active listening is a way to stay focused while someone is talking while also showing them that you are listening. To be an active listener, try to:
Show that you are listening using your body language. Maintain eye contact, face the person, and nod your head.
Use neutral leading statements to make the person feel heard. Try saying things like, “yes,” “uh-huh,” and “I see.”
Ask questions to keep the person talking or to clarify. When appropriate, try asking questions like, “What happened next?” “How did you feel?” and “What did you mean when you said ___?”
1-6. Be empathetic
Showing empathy for someone else can also help you to be a good listener. When making small talk with someone, try to consider their perspective when they tell you things. How might you feel if the same thing happened to you? This can help you to respond appropriately to the things the other person says.
For example, if you are making small talk with a coworker who tells you she got halfway to work and realized she left her phone at home and had to go back, then you might guess that she felt very frustrated and it was not a pleasant morning for her. Therefore, an appropriate response might be something like, "Oh no! That sounds frustrating! I hope the rest of your day goes better.”
2. Generating Conversation Topics
2-1. Read the news.
Having a lot to discuss can improve your small talk skills. One way to do this is to stay up-to-date on the news. Most people follow current events to some degree. Being able to comment on what's happening in the world can be excellent fodder for small talk.
The news can usually make a good conversation starter. For example, you can say something like, "Did you hear about..." or "How do you feel about..."
However, it may be best to avoid controversial topics in small talk. You do not want to make someone feel uncomfortable asking their opinion on a hot button issue.
2-2. Avoid awkward subjects.
Certain subjects should not be raised during small talk. They tend to halt the conversation, and may make others feel awkward. While engaging in small talk, make sure to avoid conversation killers.
Don't talk about yourself too much. While it's okay to talk about your own experience, do not relate everything the other person says back to a personal anecdote.
Never interrupt someone. Even if you think you know where a sentence is going, it's considered rude to try to finish someone else's sentence.
Avoid arguing with someone during small talk. If someone brings up a political point you don't agree with, let it slide instead of arguing. People may take disagreements personally, and you don't want to risk alienating someone.
2-3. Discuss the setting.
This is another good go-to if you're nervous during small talk. You can always talk about the setting. Comment on the theme or atmosphere of a bar where you're socializing. Make a comment on the weather. Compliment someone's home or apartment if you've been invited over for dinner.
2-4. Remember facts about others.
You will be a better conversationalist if you can remember small details about people's lives. This can help streamline small talk. When people tell you about themselves, make note of small details. You can use these to fuel small talk later.
For example, you may learn you co-worker has a dog named Linus. If you need to, say, make small talk in the elevator, you can ask something like, "How is Linus doing?"
2-5. Add interesting facts when you can.
You can always talk a bit about yourself if you have something interesting to share. While you should not go overboard talking about yourself, relevant and interesting facts about your life can help move small talk forward. If someone asks something about you, give an interesting answer. This will help conversation move along.
For example, say something asks you how your weekend was. Do not simply answer fine.
Tell them about something you did that weekend that may be of interest. For example, "My weekend was good. I went to the beach with my friend and we collected seashells. How was your weekend?"
2-6. Remember you can always ask questions.
People love to talk about themselves. If there's a lull in the conversation, you can always ask someone something about themselves. Most people will eagerly share facts about themselves when asked.
For example, if you were just talking about something at work, and the conversation has stalled, ask something like, "So, how did you find your job?"
You can also ask about the other person's interests. If conversation slows, try a generic conversation starter like, "Have you seen any good movies lately?"
2-7. Keep the conversation going during lulls.
Sometimes, there are awkward silences during small talk. If a conversation slows, do something to keep it going. Ask appropriate questions during quiet moments to keep a conversation going.
Bring up something mentioned previously in the conversation. For example, say something like, "So, tell me more about your job."
Encourage someone to share a personal story. Ask them something like, "So, you studied English in college? How did you get into that?"
Recalling and asking about information brought up previously can always push the conversation forward, so make sure you pay attention when people talk. You may need to use the information later.
2-8. Learn something from each conversation.
Building your skills at small talk is a learning process. Each time you successfully engage in small talk, try to learn something about the experience.
The more you know about the world, the better you'll be at conversation. Talking to people from a variety of backgrounds, with a variety of different experiences, can broaden your horizons.
Make an active effort to learn from people. Ask about other people's opinions and experiences. Remember interesting tidbits and facts you learn from others. You can use this information in conversations down the road.
3. Working on Your Social Skills
3-1. Recognize the benefits of making small talk.
Some people dislike small talk because they see it as fake or useless. However, making small talk can help you to build new relationships with people, such as for friendships, romantic relationships, or working relationships. Try to remind yourself that making small talk can lead to great things in some situations.
3-2. Maintain good body language.
Confident body language will help you give off the right attitude during conversations. Work on maintaining eye contact, sitting up straight, and doing other things to look social and engaged.
Be aware of your body language. Strive to look engaged with the person.
Avoid gestures that make you look distant. Don't, for example, cross your arms, look at the clock or phone, or lean away from the person.
3-3. Start with a small challenge each day.
If you want to build your social skills, start small. If you're shy by nature, you don't want to push yourself to do too much too soon. Set a goal to do one small thing each day to push you out of your comfort zone.
For example, you could set a goal to eat lunch in the break room instead of alone in a nearby coffee shop. This way, you'll have to be social with your co-workers.
From there, work your way up. Set more and more small goals, until you're brave enough to go out for drinks with co-workers after work.
3-4. Find a model for social skills.
It can help to model your behavior after someone you see as socially adept. You can, for example, study the behavior of a very social co-worker in your office. Pay attention to how they interact and make conversations with others. Try to emulate some of their behaviors.
3-5. Push yourself to try new things.
Shyness is often linked to a lack of confidence. If you're shy by nature, trying new things can help you feel more confident in yourself. Developing a wide skill set or a wide array of hobbies and interests can make you feel bolder. It can also give you more to talk about during small talk.
Join a club. Take a class. Enroll in a sport's team. Do anything that pertains to your interests that is new and exciting for you.
Tips
It will take time to master the art of small talk. Do not expect yourself to be a master at communication right away. Be diligent and, eventually, you will converse with others with ease.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reducing Anxiety in Social Settings\\n1-1. Practice.\\nSmall talk is like any other skill. It takes practice to master. If you want to be better at small talk, practice making small talk whenever you can.\\nChoose low stakes situations to practice small talk. If you're going to a party on Friday, you may be very nervous about making small talk with potential new friends. Therefore, work on making small talk during less intense social situations.\\nFor example, make small talk at the line in the grocery store. Try to strike up small talk with a barista at a coffee shop. If you're making small talk with people you're unlikely to see again, you may be calmer.\\n1-2. Stay positive during small talk.\\nIf you're stressed when making small talk, this is likely to rub off on other people. Therefore, work on developing a positive mentality surrounding small talk. Going into the situation positive can make it a more positive experience for everyone. This can make small talk easier, easing your social anxiety in future situations.\\nChange how you think about small talk. Don't think of it as a burden. Instead, look at it as a way to get to know new people.\\nTry doing something to relax, like taking a few deep breaths, before going into a situation that requires small talk. You will end up calmer during the situation, and better equipped to make small talk in a positive manner.\\n1-3. Learn people's names.\\nYou may feel anxious going into a social situation where you don't know anyone. Something as simple as learning people's names can help. In places where you need to make small talk, like your office, work on learning the names of co-workers.\\nAfter you've heard someone's name the first time, repeat it once or twice in your head. This can help you commit the name to memory.\\nRepeating the person’s name out loud when you meet can also be helpful, such as by saying something like, \\\"Nice to meet you, John.\\\"\\nYou can also try coming up with a way to connect the name to something familiar to you and this may help you to remember. For example, you might think to yourself, \\\"John with the tweed blazer,\\\" or \\\"John rhymes with Sean my brother,\\\" or \\\"John, like my uncle John.”\\nRemember, you can always ask a third party for someone's name if you forgot it.\\n1-4. Remember other people get anxious.\\nSometimes, just knowing you're not alone can help you make small talk. Going into a social situation, remind yourself that everyone gets nervous. You are probably not the only one feeling anxious during small talk. When you start to feel social anxiety coming on, remind yourself the other person is likely as anxious as you are.\\n1-5. Listen actively.\\nBeing a good listener is important even when you are just making small talk. Active listening is a way to stay focused while someone is talking while also showing them that you are listening. To be an active listener, try to:\\nShow that you are listening using your body language. Maintain eye contact, face the person, and nod your head.\\nUse neutral leading statements to make the person feel heard. Try saying things like, “yes,” “uh-huh,” and “I see.”\\nAsk questions to keep the person talking or to clarify. When appropriate, try asking questions like, “What happened next?” “How did you feel?” and “What did you mean when you said ___?”\\n1-6. Be empathetic\\nShowing empathy for someone else can also help you to be a good listener. When making small talk with someone, try to consider their perspective when they tell you things. How might you feel if the same thing happened to you? This can help you to respond appropriately to the things the other person says.\\nFor example, if you are making small talk with a coworker who tells you she got halfway to work and realized she left her phone at home and had to go back, then you might guess that she felt very frustrated and it was not a pleasant morning for her. Therefore, an appropriate response might be something like, \\\"Oh no! That sounds frustrating! I hope the rest of your day goes better.”\\n2. Generating Conversation Topics\\n2-1. Read the news.\\nHaving a lot to discuss can improve your small talk skills. One way to do this is to stay up-to-date on the news. Most people follow current events to some degree. Being able to comment on what's happening in the world can be excellent fodder for small talk.\\nThe news can usually make a good conversation starter. For example, you can say something like, \\\"Did you hear about...\\\" or \\\"How do you feel about...\\\"\\nHowever, it may be best to avoid controversial topics in small talk. You do not want to make someone feel uncomfortable asking their opinion on a hot button issue.\\n2-2. Avoid awkward subjects.\\nCertain subjects should not be raised during small talk. They tend to halt the conversation, and may make others feel awkward. While engaging in small talk, make sure to avoid conversation killers.\\nDon't talk about yourself too much. While it's okay to talk about your own experience, do not relate everything the other person says back to a personal anecdote.\\nNever interrupt someone. Even if you think you know where a sentence is going, it's considered rude to try to finish someone else's sentence.\\nAvoid arguing with someone during small talk. If someone brings up a political point you don't agree with, let it slide instead of arguing. People may take disagreements personally, and you don't want to risk alienating someone.\\n2-3. Discuss the setting.\\nThis is another good go-to if you're nervous during small talk. You can always talk about the setting. Comment on the theme or atmosphere of a bar where you're socializing. Make a comment on the weather. Compliment someone's home or apartment if you've been invited over for dinner.\\n2-4. Remember facts about others.\\nYou will be a better conversationalist if you can remember small details about people's lives. This can help streamline small talk. When people tell you about themselves, make note of small details. You can use these to fuel small talk later.\\nFor example, you may learn you co-worker has a dog named Linus. If you need to, say, make small talk in the elevator, you can ask something like, \\\"How is Linus doing?\\\"\\n2-5. Add interesting facts when you can.\\nYou can always talk a bit about yourself if you have something interesting to share. While you should not go overboard talking about yourself, relevant and interesting facts about your life can help move small talk forward. If someone asks something about you, give an interesting answer. This will help conversation move along.\\nFor example, say something asks you how your weekend was. Do not simply answer fine.\\nTell them about something you did that weekend that may be of interest. For example, \\\"My weekend was good. I went to the beach with my friend and we collected seashells. How was your weekend?\\\"\\n2-6. Remember you can always ask questions.\\nPeople love to talk about themselves. If there's a lull in the conversation, you can always ask someone something about themselves. Most people will eagerly share facts about themselves when asked.\\nFor example, if you were just talking about something at work, and the conversation has stalled, ask something like, \\\"So, how did you find your job?\\\"\\nYou can also ask about the other person's interests. If conversation slows, try a generic conversation starter like, \\\"Have you seen any good movies lately?\\\"\\n2-7. Keep the conversation going during lulls.\\nSometimes, there are awkward silences during small talk. If a conversation slows, do something to keep it going. Ask appropriate questions during quiet moments to keep a conversation going.\\nBring up something mentioned previously in the conversation. For example, say something like, \\\"So, tell me more about your job.\\\"\\nEncourage someone to share a personal story. Ask them something like, \\\"So, you studied English in college? How did you get into that?\\\"\\nRecalling and asking about information brought up previously can always push the conversation forward, so make sure you pay attention when people talk. You may need to use the information later.\\n2-8. Learn something from each conversation.\\nBuilding your skills at small talk is a learning process. Each time you successfully engage in small talk, try to learn something about the experience.\\nThe more you know about the world, the better you'll be at conversation. Talking to people from a variety of backgrounds, with a variety of different experiences, can broaden your horizons.\\nMake an active effort to learn from people. Ask about other people's opinions and experiences. Remember interesting tidbits and facts you learn from others. You can use this information in conversations down the road.\\n3. Working on Your Social Skills\\n3-1. Recognize the benefits of making small talk.\\nSome people dislike small talk because they see it as fake or useless. However, making small talk can help you to build new relationships with people, such as for friendships, romantic relationships, or working relationships. Try to remind yourself that making small talk can lead to great things in some situations.\\n3-2. Maintain good body language.\\nConfident body language will help you give off the right attitude during conversations. Work on maintaining eye contact, sitting up straight, and doing other things to look social and engaged.\\nBe aware of your body language. Strive to look engaged with the person.\\nAvoid gestures that make you look distant. Don't, for example, cross your arms, look at the clock or phone, or lean away from the person.\\n3-3. Start with a small challenge each day.\\nIf you want to build your social skills, start small. If you're shy by nature, you don't want to push yourself to do too much too soon. Set a goal to do one small thing each day to push you out of your comfort zone.\\nFor example, you could set a goal to eat lunch in the break room instead of alone in a nearby coffee shop. This way, you'll have to be social with your co-workers.\\nFrom there, work your way up. Set more and more small goals, until you're brave enough to go out for drinks with co-workers after work.\\n3-4. Find a model for social skills.\\nIt can help to model your behavior after someone you see as socially adept. You can, for example, study the behavior of a very social co-worker in your office. Pay attention to how they interact and make conversations with others. Try to emulate some of their behaviors.\\n3-5. Push yourself to try new things.\\nShyness is often linked to a lack of confidence. If you're shy by nature, trying new things can help you feel more confident in yourself. Developing a wide skill set or a wide array of hobbies and interests can make you feel bolder. It can also give you more to talk about during small talk. \\nJoin a club. Take a class. Enroll in a sport's team. Do anything that pertains to your interests that is new and exciting for you.\\nTips\\nIt will take time to master the art of small talk. Do not expect yourself to be a master at communication right away. Be diligent and, eventually, you will converse with others with ease.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Small talk is a very important part of socializing and meeting new people. It's not always easy to be charming and calm during a conversation, especially if it's with someone you don't know well. If you want to improve your small talk skills, it will take some dedication. First, work on reducing your anxiety in social settings. You can practice small talk ahead of time to reduce your nerves. Work on keeping the conversation flowing by having a lot of information to ask about. Bring up things like the news, for example. If you want to be better at small talk, work on developing your social skills overall. Challenge yourself to do something small each day to improve your social skills.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reducing Anxiety in Social Settings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"描述\": \"Small talk is like any other skill. It takes practice to master. If you want to be better at small talk, practice making small talk whenever you can.\\nChoose low stakes situations to practice small talk. If you're going to a party on Friday, you may be very nervous about making small talk with potential new friends. Therefore, work on making small talk during less intense social situations.\\nFor example, make small talk at the line in the grocery store. Try to strike up small talk with a barista at a coffee shop. If you're making small talk with people you're unlikely to see again, you may be calmer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay positive during small talk.\", \"描述\": \"If you're stressed when making small talk, this is likely to rub off on other people. Therefore, work on developing a positive mentality surrounding small talk. Going into the situation positive can make it a more positive experience for everyone. This can make small talk easier, easing your social anxiety in future situations.\\nChange how you think about small talk. Don't think of it as a burden. Instead, look at it as a way to get to know new people.\\nTry doing something to relax, like taking a few deep breaths, before going into a situation that requires small talk. You will end up calmer during the situation, and better equipped to make small talk in a positive manner.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn people's names.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel anxious going into a social situation where you don't know anyone. Something as simple as learning people's names can help. In places where you need to make small talk, like your office, work on learning the names of co-workers.\\nAfter you've heard someone's name the first time, repeat it once or twice in your head. This can help you commit the name to memory.\\nRepeating the person’s name out loud when you meet can also be helpful, such as by saying something like, \\\"Nice to meet you, John.\\\"\\nYou can also try coming up with a way to connect the name to something familiar to you and this may help you to remember. For example, you might think to yourself, \\\"John with the tweed blazer,\\\" or \\\"John rhymes with Sean my brother,\\\" or \\\"John, like my uncle John.”\\nRemember, you can always ask a third party for someone's name if you forgot it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember other people get anxious.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, just knowing you're not alone can help you make small talk. Going into a social situation, remind yourself that everyone gets nervous. You are probably not the only one feeling anxious during small talk. When you start to feel social anxiety coming on, remind yourself the other person is likely as anxious as you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen actively.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good listener is important even when you are just making small talk. Active listening is a way to stay focused while someone is talking while also showing them that you are listening. To be an active listener, try to:\\nShow that you are listening using your body language. Maintain eye contact, face the person, and nod your head.\\nUse neutral leading statements to make the person feel heard. Try saying things like, “yes,” “uh-huh,” and “I see.”\\nAsk questions to keep the person talking or to clarify. When appropriate, try asking questions like, “What happened next?” “How did you feel?” and “What did you mean when you said ___?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be empathetic\", \"描述\": \"Showing empathy for someone else can also help you to be a good listener. When making small talk with someone, try to consider their perspective when they tell you things. How might you feel if the same thing happened to you? This can help you to respond appropriately to the things the other person says.\\nFor example, if you are making small talk with a coworker who tells you she got halfway to work and realized she left her phone at home and had to go back, then you might guess that she felt very frustrated and it was not a pleasant morning for her. Therefore, an appropriate response might be something like, \\\"Oh no! That sounds frustrating! I hope the rest of your day goes better.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Generating Conversation Topics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the news.\", \"描述\": \"Having a lot to discuss can improve your small talk skills. One way to do this is to stay up-to-date on the news. Most people follow current events to some degree. Being able to comment on what's happening in the world can be excellent fodder for small talk.\\nThe news can usually make a good conversation starter. For example, you can say something like, \\\"Did you hear about...\\\" or \\\"How do you feel about...\\\"\\nHowever, it may be best to avoid controversial topics in small talk. You do not want to make someone feel uncomfortable asking their opinion on a hot button issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid awkward subjects.\", \"描述\": \"Certain subjects should not be raised during small talk. They tend to halt the conversation, and may make others feel awkward. While engaging in small talk, make sure to avoid conversation killers.\\nDon't talk about yourself too much. While it's okay to talk about your own experience, do not relate everything the other person says back to a personal anecdote.\\nNever interrupt someone. Even if you think you know where a sentence is going, it's considered rude to try to finish someone else's sentence.\\nAvoid arguing with someone during small talk. If someone brings up a political point you don't agree with, let it slide instead of arguing. People may take disagreements personally, and you don't want to risk alienating someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discuss the setting.\", \"描述\": \"This is another good go-to if you're nervous during small talk. You can always talk about the setting. Comment on the theme or atmosphere of a bar where you're socializing. Make a comment on the weather. Compliment someone's home or apartment if you've been invited over for dinner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember facts about others.\", \"描述\": \"You will be a better conversationalist if you can remember small details about people's lives. This can help streamline small talk. When people tell you about themselves, make note of small details. You can use these to fuel small talk later.\\nFor example, you may learn you co-worker has a dog named Linus. If you need to, say, make small talk in the elevator, you can ask something like, \\\"How is Linus doing?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Add interesting facts when you can.\", \"描述\": \"You can always talk a bit about yourself if you have something interesting to share. While you should not go overboard talking about yourself, relevant and interesting facts about your life can help move small talk forward. If someone asks something about you, give an interesting answer. This will help conversation move along.\\nFor example, say something asks you how your weekend was. Do not simply answer fine.\\nTell them about something you did that weekend that may be of interest. For example, \\\"My weekend was good. I went to the beach with my friend and we collected seashells. How was your weekend?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remember you can always ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"People love to talk about themselves. If there's a lull in the conversation, you can always ask someone something about themselves. Most people will eagerly share facts about themselves when asked.\\nFor example, if you were just talking about something at work, and the conversation has stalled, ask something like, \\\"So, how did you find your job?\\\"\\nYou can also ask about the other person's interests. If conversation slows, try a generic conversation starter like, \\\"Have you seen any good movies lately?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep the conversation going during lulls.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, there are awkward silences during small talk. If a conversation slows, do something to keep it going. Ask appropriate questions during quiet moments to keep a conversation going.\\nBring up something mentioned previously in the conversation. For example, say something like, \\\"So, tell me more about your job.\\\"\\nEncourage someone to share a personal story. Ask them something like, \\\"So, you studied English in college? How did you get into that?\\\"\\nRecalling and asking about information brought up previously can always push the conversation forward, so make sure you pay attention when people talk. You may need to use the information later.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Learn something from each conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Building your skills at small talk is a learning process. Each time you successfully engage in small talk, try to learn something about the experience.\\nThe more you know about the world, the better you'll be at conversation. Talking to people from a variety of backgrounds, with a variety of different experiences, can broaden your horizons.\\nMake an active effort to learn from people. Ask about other people's opinions and experiences. Remember interesting tidbits and facts you learn from others. You can use this information in conversations down the road.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Working on Your Social Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize the benefits of making small talk.\", \"描述\": \"Some people dislike small talk because they see it as fake or useless. However, making small talk can help you to build new relationships with people, such as for friendships, romantic relationships, or working relationships. Try to remind yourself that making small talk can lead to great things in some situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain good body language.\", \"描述\": \"Confident body language will help you give off the right attitude during conversations. Work on maintaining eye contact, sitting up straight, and doing other things to look social and engaged.\\nBe aware of your body language. Strive to look engaged with the person.\\nAvoid gestures that make you look distant. Don't, for example, cross your arms, look at the clock or phone, or lean away from the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start with a small challenge each day.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to build your social skills, start small. If you're shy by nature, you don't want to push yourself to do too much too soon. Set a goal to do one small thing each day to push you out of your comfort zone.\\nFor example, you could set a goal to eat lunch in the break room instead of alone in a nearby coffee shop. This way, you'll have to be social with your co-workers.\\nFrom there, work your way up. Set more and more small goals, until you're brave enough to go out for drinks with co-workers after work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a model for social skills.\", \"描述\": \"It can help to model your behavior after someone you see as socially adept. You can, for example, study the behavior of a very social co-worker in your office. Pay attention to how they interact and make conversations with others. Try to emulate some of their behaviors.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Push yourself to try new things.\", \"描述\": \"Shyness is often linked to a lack of confidence. If you're shy by nature, trying new things can help you feel more confident in yourself. Developing a wide skill set or a wide array of hobbies and interests can make you feel bolder. It can also give you more to talk about during small talk. \\nJoin a club. Take a class. Enroll in a sport's team. Do anything that pertains to your interests that is new and exciting for you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It will take time to master the art of small talk. Do not expect yourself to be a master at communication right away. Be diligent and, eventually, you will converse with others with ease.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,776 | How to Be Good at Soccer | 1. Stretching and preparing to exercise
To avoid injury, make sure you stretch for about 10 minutes before beginning any exercise, including soccer.
Try doing some lunges, toe-touches, and similar stretches. Make sure to focus on hamstring and calf stretches rather than arm stretches as soccer is mainly a foot/leg using game.
If you don't stretch, you have the risk of seriously harming muscles which could put you off exercises for days, weeks or even months.
After exercising, stretch to 'cool-down' your muscles rather than just sitting down.
2. Handling a Soccer Ball
2-1. Practice receiving the soccer ball.
Find a large, secluded brick or concrete wall. Simply kick the ball so that it hits the wall about 3 feet above the ground. As the ball bounces back, lift your foot into the air. Let the ball hit your foot, and fall to the ground. Do this over and over again for 10 minutes a day.
It is important to not kick the ball. You are just raising your foot to where you think the ball will bounce back. Let the ball come to your foot.
When you get the ball on the ground, put your foot on top of it to stop it from rolling away.
Start each drill up close to the wall. As you feel more comfortable, gradually move backward. Wind up at least 30 feet away from the wall by the time the drill is done.
2-2. Juggle the soccer ball.
It takes even the best soccer players years to master juggling a ball. However, it is a good way to get comfortable with handling a soccer ball and to improve your hand-to-eye coordination. Place the ball on the top of your foot so that it does not fall off. Lift your foot up in the air, letting the ball fly upwards. When the ball comes down, kick it back up into the air with your other foot.
Make sure to hit the ball in the middle of your foot. If you don't, the ball could wind up hitting you in the face or flying off in the opposite direction. The goal is to maintain the ball near your body, about one foot away.
To keep the ball from traveling very far, bend your knees upward when you kick the ball. Extending your leg will kick the ball away from your body.
Do this drill for at least 10 minutes a day. It is okay if you only get 1 or 2 juggles at first. Keep trying and eventually your skills will improve. Try to at least get to 10 touches before you stop the drill.
2-3. Begin to dribble the ball.
Use your backyard and if you don't have a backyard go to your front yard. Travel around the perimeter of your backyard or front yard kicking the ball gently. Make sure that you are planting on the balls (upper part, not the heel) of your feet before you kick the soccer ball. Each time you kick the ball it should only go about 1-2 feet. Do this drill for 10 minutes, or until you have traveled around the field a few times.
While soccer players use both feet to kick the ball, they also choose one as their primary kicking foot. This is usually the dominant foot, i.e. the foot that corresponds with the hand you primarily use (right-handed, use your right foot, etc.) This drill will help you figure out which foot you will primarily use to kick with.
Your non-dominant foot will be used to plant and balance your body. When you are dribbling, it is important that your non-dominant foot stays relatively close to your body; otherwise, you could wind up kicking the ball farther than you want to.
As you get more comfortable with dribbling, try to bring your eyes upwards. Your eyes will tend to look at the ball as you are dribbling, but in a game, you need to have your eyes up and looking around. It is okay if you accidentally trip over the ball in a drill, but you will gradually get used to not looking at the ball.
2-4. Turn the ball in different directions.
While you can dribble left or right, you cannot get a sharp turn in direction merely by using the top part of your foot. This is where the sides of your feet come into play. First, dribble regularly for about eight feet. As you build up speed, get slightly ahead of the ball, and plant your dominant kicking foot. As the ball continues to roll, it will hit your planted foot, and ricochet in the direction you want it to go in.
The direction you choose to turn the ball depends on the position of your foot. For example, assuming you use a right kicking foot, you will want the ball to hit the inside of your foot to make the ball go left, and the outside of your foot to go right. If you use a left kicking foot, you will want the ball to hit on the outside of your foot to make the ball go left, and the inside of your foot to go right.
If you simply want to alter the ball's course, plant your foot and hold it steady. If you wish to significantly alter the direction of the ball, move your foot against the ball, giving it an extra kick towards the direction you want it to go in.
2-5. Dribble the ball around obstacles.
Find a set of cones and place them in a straight line, at least 3 feet apart from each other. Begin to dribble around the obstacles. If the cone is on your left, and you use a right kicking foot, tap the ball gently with the inside of your right foot. Kick it hard enough so that it lands to the left side of the next cone. If the obstacle is on your right, and you use a right kicking foot, tap the ball with the outside of your right foot. Make sure that the ball lands on the right side of the next cone.
These instructions are similar to people using their left kicking foot, except you will use different sides of your feet. For example, if the obstacle is on your left, tap the ball with the outside of your left foot. If the obstacle is on your right, tap the ball with the inside of your left foot.
Practice with your non-dominant foot as well. This will help you keep control of the ball with both feet.
After you have weaved through a straight line obstacle, you can change the cones up. Place them in a zig-zag formation, or place them randomly in the field.
3. Improving Your Skill Set
3-1. Pass the ball to your teammates.
There are two major types of soccer passes, the ground and air pass. The ground pass is used most often, and for shorter distances. Have a friend or teammate stand about 20 feet away, facing you. A good ground pass uses the inside or outside of your dominant foot, not the point of your foot.
Plant your non-dominant foot in the direction of the pass, right next to the ball. Then, swing your dominant leg back at mid-strength. As your dominant leg comes toward the ball to kick it, make sure that your dominant foot hits the ball with the inside of your foot and you follow through to stay accurate.
The goal is to pass the ball to your teammate without the ball bouncing. You want the ball to stay on the ground all the way to your teammate.
Pass the ball back and forth. Do this for 10-15 minutes each day. Make sure that you are aiming the ball right towards your teammate, as you will need to be accurate during a game. As you go along, you can increase the distance of your passing, from 20 feet, all the way up to 40 feet.
3-2. Send the ball further away.
The other major type of soccer pass is the long ball. This is for when your teammate is 50 feet or more away. Instead of using the insides of your feet, you will use the top of your foot. Have a teammate stand at least 50 feet away, facing you. Back up a few feet behind the ball so that you can get more power behind the pass.
As you move towards the ball, plant your non-dominant foot next to the ball, just like a ground pass. Swing your dominant leg backward at full strength.
As your leg comes down, make sure that your dominant foot hits the ball right above your toes. This will give the ball the maximum angle and push it needs to get off the ground and travel far.
Continue to tailor the strength of the pass. You might not need the full strength of your leg in order to make the long ball successful. Try to be as accurate as possible. Continue air passing with your teammate for at least 10 minutes a day.
3-3. Keep the ball away from a defender.
When you are playing a soccer match, the defender will try to come up, pressure you, and strip the ball away. In order to prepare for this, find a teammate to run a drill with. First, you will begin dribbling normally in an open field. Your teammate will then come up and run alongside you. Your teammate's goal will be to strip the ball away, while your goal will be to protect the ball at all costs.
The best way to do this is to position your body correctly. If the defender comes up on your left side, shift your body to block the defender out. If the defender comes to your left side, move your body to the left to block the defender out.
You can also use your arms to nudge your opponent out of the way. However, do not fully extend your arms or be overly aggressive; otherwise, you could wind up getting a yellow card.
Do this drill for 20-30 feet. You can then switch back and forth to get a feel for both offense and defense.
3-4. Kick the ball from the corner.
When the soccer ball goes out of bounds on the endline where the goal is, the opposing team will get a corner kick. The goal of the corner kick is to make it curve towards the goal. Place the ball in the corner nearest where the ball went out. If you are simply practicing, you can do this in any corner. Step back at least three paces so that you have enough room to run up.
Begin to run towards the ball. As you increase your momentum, plant your left foot on the left side of the ball. Swing your right leg back at full strength.
When you kick the ball, you want to make sure that it hits the upper left edge of your right foot. This will create an arc in the ball's path so that it curves towards the net.
Repeat this over and over again until you have the distance and power figured out. Have a teammate go out and try to head the ball into the net, or receive and kick it into the net.
3-5. Score a goal.
While there is no substitute for a real scrimmage to help you practice scoring, you can do some exercises by yourself, or with a teammate. Stand about 12 yards away from the goal, the distance of a penalty shot. Use the air passing technique, except you will be "passing" into the goal. Move back a few feet in order to get the maximum velocity and power.
Run towards the ball. Plant your non-dominant foot on the side of the ball. Lift your dominant leg backward at full strength. As you bring your dominant leg down, make sure that you hit the ball right above your toes.
Pick certain spots of the goal you wish to aim for. Try to get three consecutive shots to go in at that particular spot before you try another spot. You can also have your teammate stand there and pretend to be the goalie for an even more realistic situation.
Move the ball to different places on the field. Vary the strength you put into your shots depending on the different distances you choose.
4. Perfecting Your Game
4-1. Shoot the ball with your head.
Headers are usually used when a teammate is kicking from the corner. To practice this shot, have a teammate stand in front of you about ten feet away. They will loft balls underhand towards your head. Start off by doing a standing header. This means that your feet stay on the ground. Lean back as the ball comes towards you. As the ball gets even closer, bring your head back forward.
Strike the ball directly on your forehead. Do this when your head is square with your body. For example, don't head the ball if you are leaning too far back, or too far forward. Do so when your head is in the normal, upright position.
To perform a jumping header, do the same as before, except this time jump first. As you are jumping, lean your body back. Bring your head forward to meet the ball. Strike the ball with your forehead when your head is in the normal position, and when you are at the highest point of your jump.
Do both the standing and jumping header drills ten times apiece. It is important not to overdo headers as they can cause you to have a concussion over time.
4-2. Shoulder feint during a match.
This is probably the simplest move you can perform, but the effect is tremendous. Dribble the ball forward about 10-20 feet. As you approach a defender, tilt your shoulder to the left, as if you were headed in that direction. Then move the ball 45 degrees to the right, with the outside edge of your right foot.
You can do the same in the opposite direction. Fade your shoulder to the right. Then move the ball 45 degrees to the left with the outside edge of your left foot.
The defender will think you are going in one direction and be misdirected. After you have completed the move, continue to dribble past him or her.
Have a teammate pretend to be a defender. Practice until you have at least completed the trick 10 times.
4-3. Perform a Cruyff Turn.
The goal of this move is to catch the opposing player off guard. To practice, dribble with the ball a good 10-20 feet in order to build momentum. You will then want to fake like you are going to pass the ball. Take your non-dominant foot and plant it a few inches ahead of the ball. Then pull back your dominant leg, as if to kick the ball.
Instead of kicking the ball head on, you will hit the ball with the inner edge of your dominant kicking foot. Kick the ball to the side, behind your already planted, non-dominant foot.
Turn your body either clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on which foot you use to kick with. Find the ball and continue dribbling in the new direction.
To practice, have a fellow teammate try and defend you. Keep the trick a secret and see if you can fake them out. Remember, this move only works when the defender is in front of you. Otherwise, the ball will travel right to your opponent's feet.
4-4. Master the scissors move.
Like the Cruyff Turn, this move is designed to catch your opponent off guard. To practice, dribble the ball about 10-20 feet to gain speed and momentum. Plant your left foot on the left side of the ball, about a foot to the side. pull your right leg back as if to kick the ball. When you bring your right leg down, swirl your right foot around the ball, clockwise, without ever touching the ball.
After you have completed the swirl, plant your right foot on the right side of the ball. Bring your left foot back, and kick the ball to the left.
In order to get the opponent faked out to your right side, swirl with your right foot and kick with your left. In order to get your opponent faked out to your left side, swirl with your left foot and kick with your right.
You can also perform a double scissors move by first swirling with your right foot, and then swirling again with your left foot. After you have performed both swirls, plant your left foot and kick towards the right direction with your right foot.
4-5. Use the Zico Cut during a match.
This move allows you to fool the defender and power past them. Dribble the ball about 10-20 feet in order to create momentum. Plant your right foot to the right of the ball, about a foot to the side. Then, take the left edge of your left foot, and tap the right side of the ball (both feet are now on the right side of the ball).
Maintain ball control with your left foot as you spin your body counterclockwise, moving your right foot with your body.
After you have made a 360 degree turn with your body while maintaining control of the ball with your left foot, begin to dribble again. Your opponent will be caught off guard and be faked out in the opposite direction.
You can also perform this move by going the opposite way. Simply plant with your left foot, while maintaining control with your right. Spin your body, and your left foot, clockwise until you have made a 360-degree turn. Continue dribbling after that.
Tips
You should stretch before practice and games.
Before the game, eat a banana 30 minutes before the game so that you do not get cramps. Pace yourself during the game so you don't get cramps and run out of air quickly.
Practice with friends and also play small matches with them.
Warnings
Always keep hydrated. You do not want to pass out. If you ever have an emergency, call an ambulance right away.
Make sure to watch your surroundings. You do not want to accidentally hit another player with the soccer ball.
When you perform headers, make sure the ball hits your forehead and not the top of your head. Performing headers consecutively, over long periods of time, can cause damage to your brain chemistry.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Stretching and preparing to exercise\\nTo avoid injury, make sure you stretch for about 10 minutes before beginning any exercise, including soccer.\\nTry doing some lunges, toe-touches, and similar stretches. Make sure to focus on hamstring and calf stretches rather than arm stretches as soccer is mainly a foot/leg using game.\\nIf you don't stretch, you have the risk of seriously harming muscles which could put you off exercises for days, weeks or even months.\\nAfter exercising, stretch to 'cool-down' your muscles rather than just sitting down.\\n2. Handling a Soccer Ball\\n2-1. Practice receiving the soccer ball.\\nFind a large, secluded brick or concrete wall. Simply kick the ball so that it hits the wall about 3 feet above the ground. As the ball bounces back, lift your foot into the air. Let the ball hit your foot, and fall to the ground. Do this over and over again for 10 minutes a day.\\nIt is important to not kick the ball. You are just raising your foot to where you think the ball will bounce back. Let the ball come to your foot.\\nWhen you get the ball on the ground, put your foot on top of it to stop it from rolling away.\\nStart each drill up close to the wall. As you feel more comfortable, gradually move backward. Wind up at least 30 feet away from the wall by the time the drill is done.\\n2-2. Juggle the soccer ball.\\nIt takes even the best soccer players years to master juggling a ball. However, it is a good way to get comfortable with handling a soccer ball and to improve your hand-to-eye coordination. Place the ball on the top of your foot so that it does not fall off. Lift your foot up in the air, letting the ball fly upwards. When the ball comes down, kick it back up into the air with your other foot.\\nMake sure to hit the ball in the middle of your foot. If you don't, the ball could wind up hitting you in the face or flying off in the opposite direction. The goal is to maintain the ball near your body, about one foot away.\\nTo keep the ball from traveling very far, bend your knees upward when you kick the ball. Extending your leg will kick the ball away from your body.\\nDo this drill for at least 10 minutes a day. It is okay if you only get 1 or 2 juggles at first. Keep trying and eventually your skills will improve. Try to at least get to 10 touches before you stop the drill.\\n2-3. Begin to dribble the ball.\\nUse your backyard and if you don't have a backyard go to your front yard. Travel around the perimeter of your backyard or front yard kicking the ball gently. Make sure that you are planting on the balls (upper part, not the heel) of your feet before you kick the soccer ball. Each time you kick the ball it should only go about 1-2 feet. Do this drill for 10 minutes, or until you have traveled around the field a few times.\\nWhile soccer players use both feet to kick the ball, they also choose one as their primary kicking foot. This is usually the dominant foot, i.e. the foot that corresponds with the hand you primarily use (right-handed, use your right foot, etc.) This drill will help you figure out which foot you will primarily use to kick with.\\nYour non-dominant foot will be used to plant and balance your body. When you are dribbling, it is important that your non-dominant foot stays relatively close to your body; otherwise, you could wind up kicking the ball farther than you want to.\\nAs you get more comfortable with dribbling, try to bring your eyes upwards. Your eyes will tend to look at the ball as you are dribbling, but in a game, you need to have your eyes up and looking around. It is okay if you accidentally trip over the ball in a drill, but you will gradually get used to not looking at the ball.\\n2-4. Turn the ball in different directions.\\nWhile you can dribble left or right, you cannot get a sharp turn in direction merely by using the top part of your foot. This is where the sides of your feet come into play. First, dribble regularly for about eight feet. As you build up speed, get slightly ahead of the ball, and plant your dominant kicking foot. As the ball continues to roll, it will hit your planted foot, and ricochet in the direction you want it to go in.\\nThe direction you choose to turn the ball depends on the position of your foot. For example, assuming you use a right kicking foot, you will want the ball to hit the inside of your foot to make the ball go left, and the outside of your foot to go right. If you use a left kicking foot, you will want the ball to hit on the outside of your foot to make the ball go left, and the inside of your foot to go right.\\nIf you simply want to alter the ball's course, plant your foot and hold it steady. If you wish to significantly alter the direction of the ball, move your foot against the ball, giving it an extra kick towards the direction you want it to go in.\\n2-5. Dribble the ball around obstacles.\\nFind a set of cones and place them in a straight line, at least 3 feet apart from each other. Begin to dribble around the obstacles. If the cone is on your left, and you use a right kicking foot, tap the ball gently with the inside of your right foot. Kick it hard enough so that it lands to the left side of the next cone. If the obstacle is on your right, and you use a right kicking foot, tap the ball with the outside of your right foot. Make sure that the ball lands on the right side of the next cone.\\nThese instructions are similar to people using their left kicking foot, except you will use different sides of your feet. For example, if the obstacle is on your left, tap the ball with the outside of your left foot. If the obstacle is on your right, tap the ball with the inside of your left foot.\\nPractice with your non-dominant foot as well. This will help you keep control of the ball with both feet.\\nAfter you have weaved through a straight line obstacle, you can change the cones up. Place them in a zig-zag formation, or place them randomly in the field.\\n3. Improving Your Skill Set\\n3-1. Pass the ball to your teammates.\\nThere are two major types of soccer passes, the ground and air pass. The ground pass is used most often, and for shorter distances. Have a friend or teammate stand about 20 feet away, facing you. A good ground pass uses the inside or outside of your dominant foot, not the point of your foot.\\nPlant your non-dominant foot in the direction of the pass, right next to the ball. Then, swing your dominant leg back at mid-strength. As your dominant leg comes toward the ball to kick it, make sure that your dominant foot hits the ball with the inside of your foot and you follow through to stay accurate.\\nThe goal is to pass the ball to your teammate without the ball bouncing. You want the ball to stay on the ground all the way to your teammate.\\nPass the ball back and forth. Do this for 10-15 minutes each day. Make sure that you are aiming the ball right towards your teammate, as you will need to be accurate during a game. As you go along, you can increase the distance of your passing, from 20 feet, all the way up to 40 feet.\\n3-2. Send the ball further away.\\nThe other major type of soccer pass is the long ball. This is for when your teammate is 50 feet or more away. Instead of using the insides of your feet, you will use the top of your foot. Have a teammate stand at least 50 feet away, facing you. Back up a few feet behind the ball so that you can get more power behind the pass.\\nAs you move towards the ball, plant your non-dominant foot next to the ball, just like a ground pass. Swing your dominant leg backward at full strength.\\nAs your leg comes down, make sure that your dominant foot hits the ball right above your toes. This will give the ball the maximum angle and push it needs to get off the ground and travel far.\\nContinue to tailor the strength of the pass. You might not need the full strength of your leg in order to make the long ball successful. Try to be as accurate as possible. Continue air passing with your teammate for at least 10 minutes a day.\\n3-3. Keep the ball away from a defender.\\nWhen you are playing a soccer match, the defender will try to come up, pressure you, and strip the ball away. In order to prepare for this, find a teammate to run a drill with. First, you will begin dribbling normally in an open field. Your teammate will then come up and run alongside you. Your teammate's goal will be to strip the ball away, while your goal will be to protect the ball at all costs.\\nThe best way to do this is to position your body correctly. If the defender comes up on your left side, shift your body to block the defender out. If the defender comes to your left side, move your body to the left to block the defender out.\\nYou can also use your arms to nudge your opponent out of the way. However, do not fully extend your arms or be overly aggressive; otherwise, you could wind up getting a yellow card.\\nDo this drill for 20-30 feet. You can then switch back and forth to get a feel for both offense and defense.\\n3-4. Kick the ball from the corner.\\nWhen the soccer ball goes out of bounds on the endline where the goal is, the opposing team will get a corner kick. The goal of the corner kick is to make it curve towards the goal. Place the ball in the corner nearest where the ball went out. If you are simply practicing, you can do this in any corner. Step back at least three paces so that you have enough room to run up. \\nBegin to run towards the ball. As you increase your momentum, plant your left foot on the left side of the ball. Swing your right leg back at full strength.\\nWhen you kick the ball, you want to make sure that it hits the upper left edge of your right foot. This will create an arc in the ball's path so that it curves towards the net.\\nRepeat this over and over again until you have the distance and power figured out. Have a teammate go out and try to head the ball into the net, or receive and kick it into the net.\\n3-5. Score a goal.\\nWhile there is no substitute for a real scrimmage to help you practice scoring, you can do some exercises by yourself, or with a teammate. Stand about 12 yards away from the goal, the distance of a penalty shot. Use the air passing technique, except you will be \\\"passing\\\" into the goal. Move back a few feet in order to get the maximum velocity and power.\\nRun towards the ball. Plant your non-dominant foot on the side of the ball. Lift your dominant leg backward at full strength. As you bring your dominant leg down, make sure that you hit the ball right above your toes.\\nPick certain spots of the goal you wish to aim for. Try to get three consecutive shots to go in at that particular spot before you try another spot. You can also have your teammate stand there and pretend to be the goalie for an even more realistic situation.\\nMove the ball to different places on the field. Vary the strength you put into your shots depending on the different distances you choose.\\n4. Perfecting Your Game\\n4-1. Shoot the ball with your head.\\nHeaders are usually used when a teammate is kicking from the corner. To practice this shot, have a teammate stand in front of you about ten feet away. They will loft balls underhand towards your head. Start off by doing a standing header. This means that your feet stay on the ground. Lean back as the ball comes towards you. As the ball gets even closer, bring your head back forward.\\nStrike the ball directly on your forehead. Do this when your head is square with your body. For example, don't head the ball if you are leaning too far back, or too far forward. Do so when your head is in the normal, upright position.\\nTo perform a jumping header, do the same as before, except this time jump first. As you are jumping, lean your body back. Bring your head forward to meet the ball. Strike the ball with your forehead when your head is in the normal position, and when you are at the highest point of your jump.\\nDo both the standing and jumping header drills ten times apiece. It is important not to overdo headers as they can cause you to have a concussion over time.\\n4-2. Shoulder feint during a match.\\nThis is probably the simplest move you can perform, but the effect is tremendous. Dribble the ball forward about 10-20 feet. As you approach a defender, tilt your shoulder to the left, as if you were headed in that direction. Then move the ball 45 degrees to the right, with the outside edge of your right foot.\\nYou can do the same in the opposite direction. Fade your shoulder to the right. Then move the ball 45 degrees to the left with the outside edge of your left foot.\\nThe defender will think you are going in one direction and be misdirected. After you have completed the move, continue to dribble past him or her.\\nHave a teammate pretend to be a defender. Practice until you have at least completed the trick 10 times.\\n4-3. Perform a Cruyff Turn.\\nThe goal of this move is to catch the opposing player off guard. To practice, dribble with the ball a good 10-20 feet in order to build momentum. You will then want to fake like you are going to pass the ball. Take your non-dominant foot and plant it a few inches ahead of the ball. Then pull back your dominant leg, as if to kick the ball.\\nInstead of kicking the ball head on, you will hit the ball with the inner edge of your dominant kicking foot. Kick the ball to the side, behind your already planted, non-dominant foot.\\nTurn your body either clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on which foot you use to kick with. Find the ball and continue dribbling in the new direction.\\nTo practice, have a fellow teammate try and defend you. Keep the trick a secret and see if you can fake them out. Remember, this move only works when the defender is in front of you. Otherwise, the ball will travel right to your opponent's feet.\\n4-4. Master the scissors move.\\nLike the Cruyff Turn, this move is designed to catch your opponent off guard. To practice, dribble the ball about 10-20 feet to gain speed and momentum. Plant your left foot on the left side of the ball, about a foot to the side. pull your right leg back as if to kick the ball. When you bring your right leg down, swirl your right foot around the ball, clockwise, without ever touching the ball.\\nAfter you have completed the swirl, plant your right foot on the right side of the ball. Bring your left foot back, and kick the ball to the left.\\nIn order to get the opponent faked out to your right side, swirl with your right foot and kick with your left. In order to get your opponent faked out to your left side, swirl with your left foot and kick with your right.\\nYou can also perform a double scissors move by first swirling with your right foot, and then swirling again with your left foot. After you have performed both swirls, plant your left foot and kick towards the right direction with your right foot.\\n4-5. Use the Zico Cut during a match.\\nThis move allows you to fool the defender and power past them. Dribble the ball about 10-20 feet in order to create momentum. Plant your right foot to the right of the ball, about a foot to the side. Then, take the left edge of your left foot, and tap the right side of the ball (both feet are now on the right side of the ball).\\nMaintain ball control with your left foot as you spin your body counterclockwise, moving your right foot with your body.\\nAfter you have made a 360 degree turn with your body while maintaining control of the ball with your left foot, begin to dribble again. Your opponent will be caught off guard and be faked out in the opposite direction.\\nYou can also perform this move by going the opposite way. Simply plant with your left foot, while maintaining control with your right. Spin your body, and your left foot, clockwise until you have made a 360-degree turn. Continue dribbling after that.\\nTips\\nYou should stretch before practice and games.\\nBefore the game, eat a banana 30 minutes before the game so that you do not get cramps. Pace yourself during the game so you don't get cramps and run out of air quickly.\\nPractice with friends and also play small matches with them.\\nWarnings\\nAlways keep hydrated. You do not want to pass out. If you ever have an emergency, call an ambulance right away.\\nMake sure to watch your surroundings. You do not want to accidentally hit another player with the soccer ball.\\nWhen you perform headers, make sure the ball hits your forehead and not the top of your head. Performing headers consecutively, over long periods of time, can cause damage to your brain chemistry.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"No one is born with soccer skills. It takes many years to improve both your strengths and weaknesses. You could be fast but not very strong; good at corner kicks but not very good at passing. However, after practicing a lot, your skill level will gradually improve. With a few drills to practice every day, you can eventually become a very good soccer player.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stretching and preparing to exercise\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"To avoid injury, make sure you stretch for about 10 minutes before beginning any exercise, including soccer.\", \"描述\": \"Try doing some lunges, toe-touches, and similar stretches. Make sure to focus on hamstring and calf stretches rather than arm stretches as soccer is mainly a foot/leg using game.\\nIf you don't stretch, you have the risk of seriously harming muscles which could put you off exercises for days, weeks or even months.\\nAfter exercising, stretch to 'cool-down' your muscles rather than just sitting down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Handling a Soccer Ball\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice receiving the soccer ball.\", \"描述\": \"Find a large, secluded brick or concrete wall. Simply kick the ball so that it hits the wall about 3 feet above the ground. As the ball bounces back, lift your foot into the air. Let the ball hit your foot, and fall to the ground. Do this over and over again for 10 minutes a day.\\nIt is important to not kick the ball. You are just raising your foot to where you think the ball will bounce back. Let the ball come to your foot.\\nWhen you get the ball on the ground, put your foot on top of it to stop it from rolling away.\\nStart each drill up close to the wall. As you feel more comfortable, gradually move backward. Wind up at least 30 feet away from the wall by the time the drill is done.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Juggle the soccer ball.\", \"描述\": \"It takes even the best soccer players years to master juggling a ball. However, it is a good way to get comfortable with handling a soccer ball and to improve your hand-to-eye coordination. Place the ball on the top of your foot so that it does not fall off. Lift your foot up in the air, letting the ball fly upwards. When the ball comes down, kick it back up into the air with your other foot.\\nMake sure to hit the ball in the middle of your foot. If you don't, the ball could wind up hitting you in the face or flying off in the opposite direction. The goal is to maintain the ball near your body, about one foot away.\\nTo keep the ball from traveling very far, bend your knees upward when you kick the ball. Extending your leg will kick the ball away from your body.\\nDo this drill for at least 10 minutes a day. It is okay if you only get 1 or 2 juggles at first. Keep trying and eventually your skills will improve. Try to at least get to 10 touches before you stop the drill.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Begin to dribble the ball.\", \"描述\": \"Use your backyard and if you don't have a backyard go to your front yard. Travel around the perimeter of your backyard or front yard kicking the ball gently. Make sure that you are planting on the balls (upper part, not the heel) of your feet before you kick the soccer ball. Each time you kick the ball it should only go about 1-2 feet. Do this drill for 10 minutes, or until you have traveled around the field a few times.\\nWhile soccer players use both feet to kick the ball, they also choose one as their primary kicking foot. This is usually the dominant foot, i.e. the foot that corresponds with the hand you primarily use (right-handed, use your right foot, etc.) This drill will help you figure out which foot you will primarily use to kick with.\\nYour non-dominant foot will be used to plant and balance your body. When you are dribbling, it is important that your non-dominant foot stays relatively close to your body; otherwise, you could wind up kicking the ball farther than you want to.\\nAs you get more comfortable with dribbling, try to bring your eyes upwards. Your eyes will tend to look at the ball as you are dribbling, but in a game, you need to have your eyes up and looking around. It is okay if you accidentally trip over the ball in a drill, but you will gradually get used to not looking at the ball.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Turn the ball in different directions.\", \"描述\": \"While you can dribble left or right, you cannot get a sharp turn in direction merely by using the top part of your foot. This is where the sides of your feet come into play. First, dribble regularly for about eight feet. As you build up speed, get slightly ahead of the ball, and plant your dominant kicking foot. As the ball continues to roll, it will hit your planted foot, and ricochet in the direction you want it to go in.\\nThe direction you choose to turn the ball depends on the position of your foot. For example, assuming you use a right kicking foot, you will want the ball to hit the inside of your foot to make the ball go left, and the outside of your foot to go right. If you use a left kicking foot, you will want the ball to hit on the outside of your foot to make the ball go left, and the inside of your foot to go right.\\nIf you simply want to alter the ball's course, plant your foot and hold it steady. If you wish to significantly alter the direction of the ball, move your foot against the ball, giving it an extra kick towards the direction you want it to go in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dribble the ball around obstacles.\", \"描述\": \"Find a set of cones and place them in a straight line, at least 3 feet apart from each other. Begin to dribble around the obstacles. If the cone is on your left, and you use a right kicking foot, tap the ball gently with the inside of your right foot. Kick it hard enough so that it lands to the left side of the next cone. If the obstacle is on your right, and you use a right kicking foot, tap the ball with the outside of your right foot. Make sure that the ball lands on the right side of the next cone.\\nThese instructions are similar to people using their left kicking foot, except you will use different sides of your feet. For example, if the obstacle is on your left, tap the ball with the outside of your left foot. If the obstacle is on your right, tap the ball with the inside of your left foot.\\nPractice with your non-dominant foot as well. This will help you keep control of the ball with both feet.\\nAfter you have weaved through a straight line obstacle, you can change the cones up. Place them in a zig-zag formation, or place them randomly in the field.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Skill Set\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pass the ball to your teammates.\", \"描述\": \"There are two major types of soccer passes, the ground and air pass. The ground pass is used most often, and for shorter distances. Have a friend or teammate stand about 20 feet away, facing you. A good ground pass uses the inside or outside of your dominant foot, not the point of your foot.\\nPlant your non-dominant foot in the direction of the pass, right next to the ball. Then, swing your dominant leg back at mid-strength. As your dominant leg comes toward the ball to kick it, make sure that your dominant foot hits the ball with the inside of your foot and you follow through to stay accurate.\\nThe goal is to pass the ball to your teammate without the ball bouncing. You want the ball to stay on the ground all the way to your teammate.\\nPass the ball back and forth. Do this for 10-15 minutes each day. Make sure that you are aiming the ball right towards your teammate, as you will need to be accurate during a game. As you go along, you can increase the distance of your passing, from 20 feet, all the way up to 40 feet.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send the ball further away.\", \"描述\": \"The other major type of soccer pass is the long ball. This is for when your teammate is 50 feet or more away. Instead of using the insides of your feet, you will use the top of your foot. Have a teammate stand at least 50 feet away, facing you. Back up a few feet behind the ball so that you can get more power behind the pass.\\nAs you move towards the ball, plant your non-dominant foot next to the ball, just like a ground pass. Swing your dominant leg backward at full strength.\\nAs your leg comes down, make sure that your dominant foot hits the ball right above your toes. This will give the ball the maximum angle and push it needs to get off the ground and travel far.\\nContinue to tailor the strength of the pass. You might not need the full strength of your leg in order to make the long ball successful. Try to be as accurate as possible. Continue air passing with your teammate for at least 10 minutes a day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep the ball away from a defender.\", \"描述\": \"When you are playing a soccer match, the defender will try to come up, pressure you, and strip the ball away. In order to prepare for this, find a teammate to run a drill with. First, you will begin dribbling normally in an open field. Your teammate will then come up and run alongside you. Your teammate's goal will be to strip the ball away, while your goal will be to protect the ball at all costs.\\nThe best way to do this is to position your body correctly. If the defender comes up on your left side, shift your body to block the defender out. If the defender comes to your left side, move your body to the left to block the defender out.\\nYou can also use your arms to nudge your opponent out of the way. However, do not fully extend your arms or be overly aggressive; otherwise, you could wind up getting a yellow card.\\nDo this drill for 20-30 feet. You can then switch back and forth to get a feel for both offense and defense.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Kick the ball from the corner.\", \"描述\": \"When the soccer ball goes out of bounds on the endline where the goal is, the opposing team will get a corner kick. The goal of the corner kick is to make it curve towards the goal. Place the ball in the corner nearest where the ball went out. If you are simply practicing, you can do this in any corner. Step back at least three paces so that you have enough room to run up. \\nBegin to run towards the ball. As you increase your momentum, plant your left foot on the left side of the ball. Swing your right leg back at full strength.\\nWhen you kick the ball, you want to make sure that it hits the upper left edge of your right foot. This will create an arc in the ball's path so that it curves towards the net.\\nRepeat this over and over again until you have the distance and power figured out. Have a teammate go out and try to head the ball into the net, or receive and kick it into the net.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Score a goal.\", \"描述\": \"While there is no substitute for a real scrimmage to help you practice scoring, you can do some exercises by yourself, or with a teammate. Stand about 12 yards away from the goal, the distance of a penalty shot. Use the air passing technique, except you will be \\\"passing\\\" into the goal. Move back a few feet in order to get the maximum velocity and power.\\nRun towards the ball. Plant your non-dominant foot on the side of the ball. Lift your dominant leg backward at full strength. As you bring your dominant leg down, make sure that you hit the ball right above your toes.\\nPick certain spots of the goal you wish to aim for. Try to get three consecutive shots to go in at that particular spot before you try another spot. You can also have your teammate stand there and pretend to be the goalie for an even more realistic situation.\\nMove the ball to different places on the field. Vary the strength you put into your shots depending on the different distances you choose.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Perfecting Your Game\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shoot the ball with your head.\", \"描述\": \"Headers are usually used when a teammate is kicking from the corner. To practice this shot, have a teammate stand in front of you about ten feet away. They will loft balls underhand towards your head. Start off by doing a standing header. This means that your feet stay on the ground. Lean back as the ball comes towards you. As the ball gets even closer, bring your head back forward.\\nStrike the ball directly on your forehead. Do this when your head is square with your body. For example, don't head the ball if you are leaning too far back, or too far forward. Do so when your head is in the normal, upright position.\\nTo perform a jumping header, do the same as before, except this time jump first. As you are jumping, lean your body back. Bring your head forward to meet the ball. Strike the ball with your forehead when your head is in the normal position, and when you are at the highest point of your jump.\\nDo both the standing and jumping header drills ten times apiece. It is important not to overdo headers as they can cause you to have a concussion over time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Shoulder feint during a match.\", \"描述\": \"This is probably the simplest move you can perform, but the effect is tremendous. Dribble the ball forward about 10-20 feet. As you approach a defender, tilt your shoulder to the left, as if you were headed in that direction. Then move the ball 45 degrees to the right, with the outside edge of your right foot.\\nYou can do the same in the opposite direction. Fade your shoulder to the right. Then move the ball 45 degrees to the left with the outside edge of your left foot.\\nThe defender will think you are going in one direction and be misdirected. After you have completed the move, continue to dribble past him or her.\\nHave a teammate pretend to be a defender. Practice until you have at least completed the trick 10 times.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perform a Cruyff Turn.\", \"描述\": \"The goal of this move is to catch the opposing player off guard. To practice, dribble with the ball a good 10-20 feet in order to build momentum. You will then want to fake like you are going to pass the ball. Take your non-dominant foot and plant it a few inches ahead of the ball. Then pull back your dominant leg, as if to kick the ball.\\nInstead of kicking the ball head on, you will hit the ball with the inner edge of your dominant kicking foot. Kick the ball to the side, behind your already planted, non-dominant foot.\\nTurn your body either clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on which foot you use to kick with. Find the ball and continue dribbling in the new direction.\\nTo practice, have a fellow teammate try and defend you. Keep the trick a secret and see if you can fake them out. Remember, this move only works when the defender is in front of you. Otherwise, the ball will travel right to your opponent's feet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Master the scissors move.\", \"描述\": \"Like the Cruyff Turn, this move is designed to catch your opponent off guard. To practice, dribble the ball about 10-20 feet to gain speed and momentum. Plant your left foot on the left side of the ball, about a foot to the side. pull your right leg back as if to kick the ball. When you bring your right leg down, swirl your right foot around the ball, clockwise, without ever touching the ball.\\nAfter you have completed the swirl, plant your right foot on the right side of the ball. Bring your left foot back, and kick the ball to the left.\\nIn order to get the opponent faked out to your right side, swirl with your right foot and kick with your left. In order to get your opponent faked out to your left side, swirl with your left foot and kick with your right.\\nYou can also perform a double scissors move by first swirling with your right foot, and then swirling again with your left foot. After you have performed both swirls, plant your left foot and kick towards the right direction with your right foot.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use the Zico Cut during a match.\", \"描述\": \"This move allows you to fool the defender and power past them. Dribble the ball about 10-20 feet in order to create momentum. Plant your right foot to the right of the ball, about a foot to the side. Then, take the left edge of your left foot, and tap the right side of the ball (both feet are now on the right side of the ball).\\nMaintain ball control with your left foot as you spin your body counterclockwise, moving your right foot with your body.\\nAfter you have made a 360 degree turn with your body while maintaining control of the ball with your left foot, begin to dribble again. Your opponent will be caught off guard and be faked out in the opposite direction.\\nYou can also perform this move by going the opposite way. Simply plant with your left foot, while maintaining control with your right. Spin your body, and your left foot, clockwise until you have made a 360-degree turn. Continue dribbling after that.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You should stretch before practice and games.\\n\", \"Before the game, eat a banana 30 minutes before the game so that you do not get cramps. Pace yourself during the game so you don't get cramps and run out of air quickly.\\n\", \"Practice with friends and also play small matches with them.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Always keep hydrated. You do not want to pass out. If you ever have an emergency, call an ambulance right away.\\n\", \"Make sure to watch your surroundings. You do not want to accidentally hit another player with the soccer ball.\\n\", \"When you perform headers, make sure the ball hits your forehead and not the top of your head. Performing headers consecutively, over long periods of time, can cause damage to your brain chemistry.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,777 | How to Be Good at Sports | 1. Training Your Skills
1-1. Join a sports team.
If you want to become a sports superstar, joining a team is a good way to start. Even if your skills are currently low, joining an amateur league will sharpen up your skills. Sports teams are everywhere, and most of them are free to join. If you go to school, you should go for team tryouts when they're happening. Recreation centres are often host to sports teams as well.
If you're not in school, you can find or start a sports club online.
1-2. Get a great coach.
Great coaches come in all shapes and sizes. Certain coaching personalities will suit you better than others. The best scenario is having a coach who genuinely wants to see you succeed. In the early stages, enthusiasm is often more helpful than scientific know-how.
Across the board, communication skills are the most important trait a coach can have.
There are different levels of sports coach. Most after-school coaches are volunteers with a working knowledge of the sport and enthusiasm for the game. You can hire a sports coach with full training and education, although it will set you back a lot of money.
1-3. Set your sights wide.
If you want to be truly great at sports, it's not enough to focus on a couple of sports alone. It is important to set your sights wide with your exercises. Don't specialize in skills unless you're already a great athlete. Find ways to train every part of your body. Whether this means playing multiple sports or doing an all-encompassing exercise routine, training your entire body will boost your sports performance.
There's a lot of evidence to suggest that athletes are better if they play more than one sport.
1-4. Tend to basics first.
it's a common misgiving for young athletes to want to jump into the advanced stuff quickly. This isn't an effective way to spend training time. You need a solid bedrock foundation before you move on to bigger things. If you're new to a sport, take as much time as you need to get the basic movements down properly. It will make advanced skills a lot easier to grasp in the long run.
Some argue that fundamental "movement skills" (such as jumping and kicking) should be mastered properly before moving on to applied sports skills.
1-5. Allow room for flexibility.
In an actual competition, things aren't usually going to play exactly by the books. While you're practicing, you'll usually be playing under optimal circumstances. In order to make sure you'll be up for the unforeseen challenges, you need to predict the conditions of the competition. Ask yourself if you are learning a skill, or if you're learning to actually use that skill in the competitions you'll be in.
Remember this motto: "Train the way you want to play."
There's no way to perfectly replicate a competition in practice, but playing with other people can get you used to the scenarios you'll need to beware of.
1-6. Add new levels of challenge as you build a skill.
It is common for bodies to adapt to a level of strain. Progress will slow down if you don't keep upping the stakes as you go along. Bodybuilders and strength-oriented athletes do this by increasing their reps or the weights they work with. As a competition athlete, the best thing you can do to keep progress going is to practice the skills while under fatigue.
Studies have shown that skill execution goes out the window when you get tired, so it's a good idea to build endurance in your sport.
Building up your speed is important too. Speed usually comes with practice, but you shouldn't try to rush into speed until you have the basics down pat.
1-7. Practice until your skills become second nature.
If you're wondering at what point a skill becomes mastered, it is when you're able to do it automatically and without thinking. This is called the autonomous phase, and it's where you want to be at if you want to play sports competitively. Given enough time and repetition, a skill will eventually fall under this category. When you're in the fray of a game, you won't have time to think everything through, so practice until it's all automatic, so you'll know you're ready.
When you're playing a sport like football in a competition, you're going to potentially need to throw a ball while getting chased by several competitors. You can't replicate this stress in private practice, so you have to make sure your toss is perfected beforehand.
Keep practicing. Practice is never something that should stop. even if you become great at sports, you can always become better. If you stop practicing, chances are that someone more determined will beat you.
2. Honing Your Body
2-1. Apply for a gym membership.
The best athletes know that training doesn't stop at sports skills. You want your body to be as sharp as it can be for whatever sport you're playing. On the downtime away from sports, keep your body in general shape by going to the gym. Although it may seem daunting or expensive, it is absolutely worth the investment if you want to be good at sports. There are lots of benefits to going to a gym. As you'll know from playing in sports teams, exercising with others is very motivating.
Do some research into a prospective gym before you pay for a membership. Go for a tour, and ask for details. Make sure the gym fits the circumstances of your life before you make your first payment.
2-2. Get enough sleep.
This one should come as obvious, but you might be surprised how often proper sleep is glazed over. This is especially true during times of intense practice or training, where things get so busy it becomes hard to cram everything into a regular day. Nonetheless, your body needs its full rest.
If you're a teen, you should sleep 8-10 hours each night. If you're an adult, get 7-9 hours of sleep each night.
2-3. Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.
Everyone should make a point of eating a diet that benefits their body. This is especially true if you want to be great at sports. Eating junk food will work against whatever efforts you make in the gym. Base your diet on vegetables, leafy greens, legumes, lean proteins, and whole grains. Cut back on "empty calories" (like soda) and replace them with things that improve your health.
If you're lactose intolerant, try going without dairy. It may sound hard, but you'll see benefits within a month.
2-4. Drink lots of water.
Water cannot be underestimated as part of a healthy diet. Staying hydrated will help you feel mentally and physically your best. Water regulates everything, and you should expect to lose some of your natural hydration via sweat while you exercise.
The common "8 glasses a day" guideline isn't mandatory, but you should try to keep water next to you whenever you can. It's especially important to stock up on water while you're exercising.
Keep a refillable bottle of water around with you. Refill it when it goes empty. You'll find your water consumption goes up a lot if you simply keep it near you.
2-5. Stay clear of intoxicants.
Drugs and alcohol aren't recommended if you want to be great at sports. Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it drains your body of hydration. Your body will expend resources trying to get rid of the alcohol, and it can have a negative impact on your sports performance for days after the fact.
In the long run, the amount of calories you digest from alcohol like cider and beer can have a negative impact on your gut.
3. Developing the Right Mindset
3-1. Set ambitious but realistic goals for yourself.
This does not mean being unrealistic, or saying you're going to go professional within a year. Instead, you should take a look at what you are, and figure out where you think you would like to be. Give yourself a suitable amount of time to achieve that goal, and break it down into smaller parts if the goal is especially big.
For example, if you do want to go professional, take a look at what the requirements are, and work your way up to each one. You may have to go semi-pro first.
Rather than focusing on the big picture, focus on the smaller one instead. For example, you could focus on your technique.
3-2. Be a good sport.
Being good at sports means more than physical strength and speed. In order to be truly great, you need to apply that positive attitude to the way you treat other players, even if they're on the other team. If you lose a match, accept the loss and show respect to the other player for their victory.
If you set an example of good sportsmanship, you'll receive the same respect in turn when you win.
Treat loss as a learning experience. Figure out what you did wrong, then try to improve it for the next game.
3-3. Be patient.
No matter what you do, skills are often slow to build. If you're not patient, you will try to leap into more advanced techniques long before you're ready. Your motivation will sap away when you don't see improvement immediately. Keep the long-term goal in mind, and hang tight in the meantime while you make it a reality.
Remember: there is always going to be someone who can do it better than you, at least at first. Impatient athletes tend to make poor ones.
3-4. Accept criticism.
When you play sports, you will inevitably receive criticism, and you need to be willing to listen when it's constructive. Are they angry because you missed a pass, or do they sincerely want to help you improve? Learn to distinguish the constructive criticism from the hurtful remarks. In a lot of cases, you can use criticism as motivation to get better in whatever area they bring up.
Don't let yourself get defensive. Your thinking becomes more limited if you allow yourself to become emotional against criticism.
Keep your ego under control. Even if you think you are the best, be open to constructive criticism.
3-5. Nurture friendships with other players.
One of the biggest reasons people join sports teams in the first place is to make friends with new people. If you join a team, you're bound to run into a lot of people. Chances are you'll develop friendships with at least some of them. Making these friendships a priority is a good move if you want to become great at sports. You can practice together on your own time. The morale boost of playing with friends helps as well.
Team sports like soccer can have some skills practiced in solitude, but for others (like goalkeeping and passing) another person is needed. It's helpful to have this other person as a friend. It'll make the practice process more enjoyable in the long term.
3-6. Let yourself have fun.
It's possible to get so obsessed with being good at something that you lose track of why you want to be good in the first place. Not taking the time to enjoy the sport you play results in a fast burnout. Whether you're practicing or playing a competition, try to remember the other reasons why you play sports.
For example, this may include the natural satisfaction you get from exercise, or simply the quality time spent with friends.
4. Succeeding in Competition
4-1. Get lots of rest the night before game day.
While it is recommended you try to stick to a regular sleeping schedule, it's especially important to do so the night before a big game. The competition will be stiff enough, so it's not worth it losing your edge just because you weren't willing to sleep at least 8 hours.
If you are having troubles getting to sleep, try some deep breathing exercises or meditating.
4-2. Load up on carbohydrates prior to a game.
While it wouldn't be regularly recommended in a diet, athletes should load up on their carbohydrate intake. Carbs essentially give your body energy, and you'll need lots of energy if you're playing a sports competition.
Stay away from sugar for a few hours before a big competition. Sugar and starches dehydrate your body. That is something you want to avoid in the midst of competing.
Keep yourself up to pace with snacks. Longer matches will be a test of endurance, and something as simple as an energy bar or banana can make a big difference.
4-3. Warm up.
Warm ups are important for any physically strenuous activity. They can be fairly light, but a proper warm up will help prevent early exhaustion and injury. Aim to warm up around half an hour before the start of the game. Stretch out your arms and legs. Run in place. Work up a bit of a sweat. This will get your body in the right mode for the competition.
Warm ups also help fight off anxiety. Pre-game anxiety can be an issue for some players, so you should keep that in mind if it's something you suffer from.
4-4. Know your competition.
Having a good idea what to expect with the opposing side is important, regardless whether you're going one on one or playing as a team. If you want to know which techniques you should be using in the midst of certain competitors, it's a good idea to study their methods in the days and weeks before a big game. If there is any footage of those players during a game, give it a shot.
The science of analytics turns the respective skills of your teammates and competitors into a sharp formula. Matching each player to their best strengths is integral to a team's success. Professional sports analysts make it their specific business to analyze the sporting behaviour of athletes.
4-5. Stay focused on the game.
You won't get anywhere if you're worried about something else happening in your life. Life is always complicated, and there may be things in your personal life that are bothering you. However, at least for the course of the game, you can't let any of that stuff get to you. It may be easier said than done, but if winning the game means enough to you, it should be a straightforward matter to keep your eyes on the prize.
4-6. Push yourself further than others are willing to go.
A lot of the best athletes may have had a natural aptitude for it, but the reason they ultimately succeed is because they want victory more than any of the competition. That's a tricky thing to develop inside yourself, but if the desire is intense enough, you will do just about anything to make your dreams a reality. This broadly applies to the mindset of training, but it's incredibly important during a competition.
How much you want to win will have an effect on how far you end up pushing yourself. Sometimes, the distance between winning and losing is very small. A world of difference is made from that added bit of effort.
Remember, passion is the key to most kinds of success, and the same applies to sports.
Tips
Be a student in the game and out. If you're looking for an edge, watch some of your sport's greatest athletes at work in videos. If anything, it gives a great inspiration to improve your form.
Everything comes with time. You won't become great at sports overnight, but if you put a little bit of time into honing your skills each day, you'll see a huge result in time.
Warnings
Don't get jealous of others' performance. You may think poorly of yourself due to the way you see other players compete, but that's not going to do anything to help you in the long run. Keep your chin up, and keep your spirits high.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Training Your Skills\\n1-1. Join a sports team.\\nIf you want to become a sports superstar, joining a team is a good way to start. Even if your skills are currently low, joining an amateur league will sharpen up your skills. Sports teams are everywhere, and most of them are free to join. If you go to school, you should go for team tryouts when they're happening. Recreation centres are often host to sports teams as well.\\nIf you're not in school, you can find or start a sports club online.\\n1-2. Get a great coach.\\nGreat coaches come in all shapes and sizes. Certain coaching personalities will suit you better than others. The best scenario is having a coach who genuinely wants to see you succeed. In the early stages, enthusiasm is often more helpful than scientific know-how.\\nAcross the board, communication skills are the most important trait a coach can have.\\nThere are different levels of sports coach. Most after-school coaches are volunteers with a working knowledge of the sport and enthusiasm for the game. You can hire a sports coach with full training and education, although it will set you back a lot of money.\\n1-3. Set your sights wide.\\nIf you want to be truly great at sports, it's not enough to focus on a couple of sports alone. It is important to set your sights wide with your exercises. Don't specialize in skills unless you're already a great athlete. Find ways to train every part of your body. Whether this means playing multiple sports or doing an all-encompassing exercise routine, training your entire body will boost your sports performance.\\nThere's a lot of evidence to suggest that athletes are better if they play more than one sport.\\n1-4. Tend to basics first.\\nit's a common misgiving for young athletes to want to jump into the advanced stuff quickly. This isn't an effective way to spend training time. You need a solid bedrock foundation before you move on to bigger things. If you're new to a sport, take as much time as you need to get the basic movements down properly. It will make advanced skills a lot easier to grasp in the long run.\\nSome argue that fundamental \\\"movement skills\\\" (such as jumping and kicking) should be mastered properly before moving on to applied sports skills.\\n1-5. Allow room for flexibility.\\nIn an actual competition, things aren't usually going to play exactly by the books. While you're practicing, you'll usually be playing under optimal circumstances. In order to make sure you'll be up for the unforeseen challenges, you need to predict the conditions of the competition. Ask yourself if you are learning a skill, or if you're learning to actually use that skill in the competitions you'll be in.\\nRemember this motto: \\\"Train the way you want to play.\\\"\\nThere's no way to perfectly replicate a competition in practice, but playing with other people can get you used to the scenarios you'll need to beware of.\\n1-6. Add new levels of challenge as you build a skill.\\nIt is common for bodies to adapt to a level of strain. Progress will slow down if you don't keep upping the stakes as you go along. Bodybuilders and strength-oriented athletes do this by increasing their reps or the weights they work with. As a competition athlete, the best thing you can do to keep progress going is to practice the skills while under fatigue.\\nStudies have shown that skill execution goes out the window when you get tired, so it's a good idea to build endurance in your sport.\\nBuilding up your speed is important too. Speed usually comes with practice, but you shouldn't try to rush into speed until you have the basics down pat.\\n1-7. Practice until your skills become second nature.\\nIf you're wondering at what point a skill becomes mastered, it is when you're able to do it automatically and without thinking. This is called the autonomous phase, and it's where you want to be at if you want to play sports competitively. Given enough time and repetition, a skill will eventually fall under this category. When you're in the fray of a game, you won't have time to think everything through, so practice until it's all automatic, so you'll know you're ready.\\nWhen you're playing a sport like football in a competition, you're going to potentially need to throw a ball while getting chased by several competitors. You can't replicate this stress in private practice, so you have to make sure your toss is perfected beforehand.\\nKeep practicing. Practice is never something that should stop. even if you become great at sports, you can always become better. If you stop practicing, chances are that someone more determined will beat you.\\n2. Honing Your Body\\n2-1. Apply for a gym membership.\\nThe best athletes know that training doesn't stop at sports skills. You want your body to be as sharp as it can be for whatever sport you're playing. On the downtime away from sports, keep your body in general shape by going to the gym. Although it may seem daunting or expensive, it is absolutely worth the investment if you want to be good at sports. There are lots of benefits to going to a gym. As you'll know from playing in sports teams, exercising with others is very motivating.\\nDo some research into a prospective gym before you pay for a membership. Go for a tour, and ask for details. Make sure the gym fits the circumstances of your life before you make your first payment.\\n2-2. Get enough sleep.\\nThis one should come as obvious, but you might be surprised how often proper sleep is glazed over. This is especially true during times of intense practice or training, where things get so busy it becomes hard to cram everything into a regular day. Nonetheless, your body needs its full rest.\\nIf you're a teen, you should sleep 8-10 hours each night. If you're an adult, get 7-9 hours of sleep each night.\\n2-3. Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.\\nEveryone should make a point of eating a diet that benefits their body. This is especially true if you want to be great at sports. Eating junk food will work against whatever efforts you make in the gym. Base your diet on vegetables, leafy greens, legumes, lean proteins, and whole grains. Cut back on \\\"empty calories\\\" (like soda) and replace them with things that improve your health.\\nIf you're lactose intolerant, try going without dairy. It may sound hard, but you'll see benefits within a month.\\n2-4. Drink lots of water.\\nWater cannot be underestimated as part of a healthy diet. Staying hydrated will help you feel mentally and physically your best. Water regulates everything, and you should expect to lose some of your natural hydration via sweat while you exercise.\\nThe common \\\"8 glasses a day\\\" guideline isn't mandatory, but you should try to keep water next to you whenever you can. It's especially important to stock up on water while you're exercising.\\nKeep a refillable bottle of water around with you. Refill it when it goes empty. You'll find your water consumption goes up a lot if you simply keep it near you.\\n2-5. Stay clear of intoxicants.\\nDrugs and alcohol aren't recommended if you want to be great at sports. Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it drains your body of hydration. Your body will expend resources trying to get rid of the alcohol, and it can have a negative impact on your sports performance for days after the fact.\\nIn the long run, the amount of calories you digest from alcohol like cider and beer can have a negative impact on your gut.\\n3. Developing the Right Mindset\\n3-1. Set ambitious but realistic goals for yourself.\\nThis does not mean being unrealistic, or saying you're going to go professional within a year. Instead, you should take a look at what you are, and figure out where you think you would like to be. Give yourself a suitable amount of time to achieve that goal, and break it down into smaller parts if the goal is especially big.\\nFor example, if you do want to go professional, take a look at what the requirements are, and work your way up to each one. You may have to go semi-pro first.\\nRather than focusing on the big picture, focus on the smaller one instead. For example, you could focus on your technique.\\n3-2. Be a good sport.\\nBeing good at sports means more than physical strength and speed. In order to be truly great, you need to apply that positive attitude to the way you treat other players, even if they're on the other team. If you lose a match, accept the loss and show respect to the other player for their victory.\\nIf you set an example of good sportsmanship, you'll receive the same respect in turn when you win.\\nTreat loss as a learning experience. Figure out what you did wrong, then try to improve it for the next game.\\n3-3. Be patient.\\nNo matter what you do, skills are often slow to build. If you're not patient, you will try to leap into more advanced techniques long before you're ready. Your motivation will sap away when you don't see improvement immediately. Keep the long-term goal in mind, and hang tight in the meantime while you make it a reality.\\nRemember: there is always going to be someone who can do it better than you, at least at first. Impatient athletes tend to make poor ones.\\n3-4. Accept criticism.\\nWhen you play sports, you will inevitably receive criticism, and you need to be willing to listen when it's constructive. Are they angry because you missed a pass, or do they sincerely want to help you improve? Learn to distinguish the constructive criticism from the hurtful remarks. In a lot of cases, you can use criticism as motivation to get better in whatever area they bring up.\\nDon't let yourself get defensive. Your thinking becomes more limited if you allow yourself to become emotional against criticism.\\nKeep your ego under control. Even if you think you are the best, be open to constructive criticism.\\n3-5. Nurture friendships with other players.\\nOne of the biggest reasons people join sports teams in the first place is to make friends with new people. If you join a team, you're bound to run into a lot of people. Chances are you'll develop friendships with at least some of them. Making these friendships a priority is a good move if you want to become great at sports. You can practice together on your own time. The morale boost of playing with friends helps as well.\\nTeam sports like soccer can have some skills practiced in solitude, but for others (like goalkeeping and passing) another person is needed. It's helpful to have this other person as a friend. It'll make the practice process more enjoyable in the long term.\\n3-6. Let yourself have fun.\\nIt's possible to get so obsessed with being good at something that you lose track of why you want to be good in the first place. Not taking the time to enjoy the sport you play results in a fast burnout. Whether you're practicing or playing a competition, try to remember the other reasons why you play sports.\\nFor example, this may include the natural satisfaction you get from exercise, or simply the quality time spent with friends.\\n4. Succeeding in Competition\\n4-1. Get lots of rest the night before game day.\\nWhile it is recommended you try to stick to a regular sleeping schedule, it's especially important to do so the night before a big game. The competition will be stiff enough, so it's not worth it losing your edge just because you weren't willing to sleep at least 8 hours.\\nIf you are having troubles getting to sleep, try some deep breathing exercises or meditating.\\n4-2. Load up on carbohydrates prior to a game.\\nWhile it wouldn't be regularly recommended in a diet, athletes should load up on their carbohydrate intake. Carbs essentially give your body energy, and you'll need lots of energy if you're playing a sports competition.\\nStay away from sugar for a few hours before a big competition. Sugar and starches dehydrate your body. That is something you want to avoid in the midst of competing.\\nKeep yourself up to pace with snacks. Longer matches will be a test of endurance, and something as simple as an energy bar or banana can make a big difference.\\n4-3. Warm up.\\nWarm ups are important for any physically strenuous activity. They can be fairly light, but a proper warm up will help prevent early exhaustion and injury. Aim to warm up around half an hour before the start of the game. Stretch out your arms and legs. Run in place. Work up a bit of a sweat. This will get your body in the right mode for the competition.\\nWarm ups also help fight off anxiety. Pre-game anxiety can be an issue for some players, so you should keep that in mind if it's something you suffer from.\\n4-4. Know your competition.\\nHaving a good idea what to expect with the opposing side is important, regardless whether you're going one on one or playing as a team. If you want to know which techniques you should be using in the midst of certain competitors, it's a good idea to study their methods in the days and weeks before a big game. If there is any footage of those players during a game, give it a shot.\\nThe science of analytics turns the respective skills of your teammates and competitors into a sharp formula. Matching each player to their best strengths is integral to a team's success. Professional sports analysts make it their specific business to analyze the sporting behaviour of athletes.\\n4-5. Stay focused on the game.\\nYou won't get anywhere if you're worried about something else happening in your life. Life is always complicated, and there may be things in your personal life that are bothering you. However, at least for the course of the game, you can't let any of that stuff get to you. It may be easier said than done, but if winning the game means enough to you, it should be a straightforward matter to keep your eyes on the prize.\\n4-6. Push yourself further than others are willing to go.\\nA lot of the best athletes may have had a natural aptitude for it, but the reason they ultimately succeed is because they want victory more than any of the competition. That's a tricky thing to develop inside yourself, but if the desire is intense enough, you will do just about anything to make your dreams a reality. This broadly applies to the mindset of training, but it's incredibly important during a competition.\\nHow much you want to win will have an effect on how far you end up pushing yourself. Sometimes, the distance between winning and losing is very small. A world of difference is made from that added bit of effort.\\nRemember, passion is the key to most kinds of success, and the same applies to sports.\\nTips\\nBe a student in the game and out. If you're looking for an edge, watch some of your sport's greatest athletes at work in videos. If anything, it gives a great inspiration to improve your form.\\nEverything comes with time. You won't become great at sports overnight, but if you put a little bit of time into honing your skills each day, you'll see a huge result in time.\\nWarnings\\nDon't get jealous of others' performance. You may think poorly of yourself due to the way you see other players compete, but that's not going to do anything to help you in the long run. Keep your chin up, and keep your spirits high.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If sports are something that interests you, it stands to reason you would want to be good at them. Succeeding at a sport takes skill, and skill takes patience and determination. However, there are other things you need to think about if you want to be a good sports player. Skill alone may take you far, but you'll never go all the way unless you have the right attitude and team spirit to back it up.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Training Your Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join a sports team.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to become a sports superstar, joining a team is a good way to start. Even if your skills are currently low, joining an amateur league will sharpen up your skills. Sports teams are everywhere, and most of them are free to join. If you go to school, you should go for team tryouts when they're happening. Recreation centres are often host to sports teams as well.\\nIf you're not in school, you can find or start a sports club online.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a great coach.\", \"描述\": \"Great coaches come in all shapes and sizes. Certain coaching personalities will suit you better than others. The best scenario is having a coach who genuinely wants to see you succeed. In the early stages, enthusiasm is often more helpful than scientific know-how.\\nAcross the board, communication skills are the most important trait a coach can have.\\nThere are different levels of sports coach. Most after-school coaches are volunteers with a working knowledge of the sport and enthusiasm for the game. You can hire a sports coach with full training and education, although it will set you back a lot of money.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set your sights wide.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be truly great at sports, it's not enough to focus on a couple of sports alone. It is important to set your sights wide with your exercises. Don't specialize in skills unless you're already a great athlete. Find ways to train every part of your body. Whether this means playing multiple sports or doing an all-encompassing exercise routine, training your entire body will boost your sports performance.\\nThere's a lot of evidence to suggest that athletes are better if they play more than one sport.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tend to basics first.\", \"描述\": \"it's a common misgiving for young athletes to want to jump into the advanced stuff quickly. This isn't an effective way to spend training time. You need a solid bedrock foundation before you move on to bigger things. If you're new to a sport, take as much time as you need to get the basic movements down properly. It will make advanced skills a lot easier to grasp in the long run.\\nSome argue that fundamental \\\"movement skills\\\" (such as jumping and kicking) should be mastered properly before moving on to applied sports skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Allow room for flexibility.\", \"描述\": \"In an actual competition, things aren't usually going to play exactly by the books. While you're practicing, you'll usually be playing under optimal circumstances. In order to make sure you'll be up for the unforeseen challenges, you need to predict the conditions of the competition. Ask yourself if you are learning a skill, or if you're learning to actually use that skill in the competitions you'll be in.\\nRemember this motto: \\\"Train the way you want to play.\\\"\\nThere's no way to perfectly replicate a competition in practice, but playing with other people can get you used to the scenarios you'll need to beware of.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add new levels of challenge as you build a skill.\", \"描述\": \"It is common for bodies to adapt to a level of strain. Progress will slow down if you don't keep upping the stakes as you go along. Bodybuilders and strength-oriented athletes do this by increasing their reps or the weights they work with. As a competition athlete, the best thing you can do to keep progress going is to practice the skills while under fatigue.\\nStudies have shown that skill execution goes out the window when you get tired, so it's a good idea to build endurance in your sport.\\nBuilding up your speed is important too. Speed usually comes with practice, but you shouldn't try to rush into speed until you have the basics down pat.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Practice until your skills become second nature.\", \"描述\": \"If you're wondering at what point a skill becomes mastered, it is when you're able to do it automatically and without thinking. This is called the autonomous phase, and it's where you want to be at if you want to play sports competitively. Given enough time and repetition, a skill will eventually fall under this category. When you're in the fray of a game, you won't have time to think everything through, so practice until it's all automatic, so you'll know you're ready.\\nWhen you're playing a sport like football in a competition, you're going to potentially need to throw a ball while getting chased by several competitors. You can't replicate this stress in private practice, so you have to make sure your toss is perfected beforehand.\\nKeep practicing. Practice is never something that should stop. even if you become great at sports, you can always become better. If you stop practicing, chances are that someone more determined will beat you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Honing Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apply for a gym membership.\", \"描述\": \"The best athletes know that training doesn't stop at sports skills. You want your body to be as sharp as it can be for whatever sport you're playing. On the downtime away from sports, keep your body in general shape by going to the gym. Although it may seem daunting or expensive, it is absolutely worth the investment if you want to be good at sports. There are lots of benefits to going to a gym. As you'll know from playing in sports teams, exercising with others is very motivating.\\nDo some research into a prospective gym before you pay for a membership. Go for a tour, and ask for details. Make sure the gym fits the circumstances of your life before you make your first payment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"This one should come as obvious, but you might be surprised how often proper sleep is glazed over. This is especially true during times of intense practice or training, where things get so busy it becomes hard to cram everything into a regular day. Nonetheless, your body needs its full rest.\\nIf you're a teen, you should sleep 8-10 hours each night. If you're an adult, get 7-9 hours of sleep each night.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone should make a point of eating a diet that benefits their body. This is especially true if you want to be great at sports. Eating junk food will work against whatever efforts you make in the gym. Base your diet on vegetables, leafy greens, legumes, lean proteins, and whole grains. Cut back on \\\"empty calories\\\" (like soda) and replace them with things that improve your health.\\nIf you're lactose intolerant, try going without dairy. It may sound hard, but you'll see benefits within a month.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Drink lots of water.\", \"描述\": \"Water cannot be underestimated as part of a healthy diet. Staying hydrated will help you feel mentally and physically your best. Water regulates everything, and you should expect to lose some of your natural hydration via sweat while you exercise.\\nThe common \\\"8 glasses a day\\\" guideline isn't mandatory, but you should try to keep water next to you whenever you can. It's especially important to stock up on water while you're exercising.\\nKeep a refillable bottle of water around with you. Refill it when it goes empty. You'll find your water consumption goes up a lot if you simply keep it near you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay clear of intoxicants.\", \"描述\": \"Drugs and alcohol aren't recommended if you want to be great at sports. Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it drains your body of hydration. Your body will expend resources trying to get rid of the alcohol, and it can have a negative impact on your sports performance for days after the fact.\\nIn the long run, the amount of calories you digest from alcohol like cider and beer can have a negative impact on your gut.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing the Right Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set ambitious but realistic goals for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This does not mean being unrealistic, or saying you're going to go professional within a year. Instead, you should take a look at what you are, and figure out where you think you would like to be. Give yourself a suitable amount of time to achieve that goal, and break it down into smaller parts if the goal is especially big.\\nFor example, if you do want to go professional, take a look at what the requirements are, and work your way up to each one. You may have to go semi-pro first.\\nRather than focusing on the big picture, focus on the smaller one instead. For example, you could focus on your technique.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good sport.\", \"描述\": \"Being good at sports means more than physical strength and speed. In order to be truly great, you need to apply that positive attitude to the way you treat other players, even if they're on the other team. If you lose a match, accept the loss and show respect to the other player for their victory.\\nIf you set an example of good sportsmanship, you'll receive the same respect in turn when you win.\\nTreat loss as a learning experience. Figure out what you did wrong, then try to improve it for the next game.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what you do, skills are often slow to build. If you're not patient, you will try to leap into more advanced techniques long before you're ready. Your motivation will sap away when you don't see improvement immediately. Keep the long-term goal in mind, and hang tight in the meantime while you make it a reality.\\nRemember: there is always going to be someone who can do it better than you, at least at first. Impatient athletes tend to make poor ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept criticism.\", \"描述\": \"When you play sports, you will inevitably receive criticism, and you need to be willing to listen when it's constructive. Are they angry because you missed a pass, or do they sincerely want to help you improve? Learn to distinguish the constructive criticism from the hurtful remarks. In a lot of cases, you can use criticism as motivation to get better in whatever area they bring up.\\nDon't let yourself get defensive. Your thinking becomes more limited if you allow yourself to become emotional against criticism.\\nKeep your ego under control. Even if you think you are the best, be open to constructive criticism.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Nurture friendships with other players.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest reasons people join sports teams in the first place is to make friends with new people. If you join a team, you're bound to run into a lot of people. Chances are you'll develop friendships with at least some of them. Making these friendships a priority is a good move if you want to become great at sports. You can practice together on your own time. The morale boost of playing with friends helps as well.\\nTeam sports like soccer can have some skills practiced in solitude, but for others (like goalkeeping and passing) another person is needed. It's helpful to have this other person as a friend. It'll make the practice process more enjoyable in the long term.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Let yourself have fun.\", \"描述\": \"It's possible to get so obsessed with being good at something that you lose track of why you want to be good in the first place. Not taking the time to enjoy the sport you play results in a fast burnout. Whether you're practicing or playing a competition, try to remember the other reasons why you play sports.\\nFor example, this may include the natural satisfaction you get from exercise, or simply the quality time spent with friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Succeeding in Competition\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get lots of rest the night before game day.\", \"描述\": \"While it is recommended you try to stick to a regular sleeping schedule, it's especially important to do so the night before a big game. The competition will be stiff enough, so it's not worth it losing your edge just because you weren't willing to sleep at least 8 hours.\\nIf you are having troubles getting to sleep, try some deep breathing exercises or meditating.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Load up on carbohydrates prior to a game.\", \"描述\": \"While it wouldn't be regularly recommended in a diet, athletes should load up on their carbohydrate intake. Carbs essentially give your body energy, and you'll need lots of energy if you're playing a sports competition.\\nStay away from sugar for a few hours before a big competition. Sugar and starches dehydrate your body. That is something you want to avoid in the midst of competing.\\nKeep yourself up to pace with snacks. Longer matches will be a test of endurance, and something as simple as an energy bar or banana can make a big difference.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Warm up.\", \"描述\": \"Warm ups are important for any physically strenuous activity. They can be fairly light, but a proper warm up will help prevent early exhaustion and injury. Aim to warm up around half an hour before the start of the game. Stretch out your arms and legs. Run in place. Work up a bit of a sweat. This will get your body in the right mode for the competition.\\nWarm ups also help fight off anxiety. Pre-game anxiety can be an issue for some players, so you should keep that in mind if it's something you suffer from.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know your competition.\", \"描述\": \"Having a good idea what to expect with the opposing side is important, regardless whether you're going one on one or playing as a team. If you want to know which techniques you should be using in the midst of certain competitors, it's a good idea to study their methods in the days and weeks before a big game. If there is any footage of those players during a game, give it a shot.\\nThe science of analytics turns the respective skills of your teammates and competitors into a sharp formula. Matching each player to their best strengths is integral to a team's success. Professional sports analysts make it their specific business to analyze the sporting behaviour of athletes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay focused on the game.\", \"描述\": \"You won't get anywhere if you're worried about something else happening in your life. Life is always complicated, and there may be things in your personal life that are bothering you. However, at least for the course of the game, you can't let any of that stuff get to you. It may be easier said than done, but if winning the game means enough to you, it should be a straightforward matter to keep your eyes on the prize.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Push yourself further than others are willing to go.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of the best athletes may have had a natural aptitude for it, but the reason they ultimately succeed is because they want victory more than any of the competition. That's a tricky thing to develop inside yourself, but if the desire is intense enough, you will do just about anything to make your dreams a reality. This broadly applies to the mindset of training, but it's incredibly important during a competition.\\nHow much you want to win will have an effect on how far you end up pushing yourself. Sometimes, the distance between winning and losing is very small. A world of difference is made from that added bit of effort.\\nRemember, passion is the key to most kinds of success, and the same applies to sports.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be a student in the game and out. If you're looking for an edge, watch some of your sport's greatest athletes at work in videos. If anything, it gives a great inspiration to improve your form.\\n\", \"Everything comes with time. You won't become great at sports overnight, but if you put a little bit of time into honing your skills each day, you'll see a huge result in time.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't get jealous of others' performance. You may think poorly of yourself due to the way you see other players compete, but that's not going to do anything to help you in the long run. Keep your chin up, and keep your spirits high.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,778 | How to Be Good at Volleyball | 1. Practicing Basic Techniques
1-1. Acquire good equipment.
In order to practice volleyball, you need access to good equipment, including a comfortable outfit that allows a range of body motion, shoes specifically designed for volleyball, and a good quality volleyball. As well, you should have access to a volleyball net and court.
Men, especially taller men, may need to opt for a basketball shoe instead of a volleyball shoe.
In order to do some volleyball drills, it can be helpful to practice against a tall smooth wall or a basketball hoop.
1-2. Practice the basic volleyball stance.
When you play volleyball, you will assume a basic ready position. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and bend your knees. Make sure your body weight is more on the balls of your feet so that you are ready to move quickly. Hold your arms loosely in front of you
1-3. Practice shuffling your feet.
Many volleyball moves require you to move quickly from side to side. Minimize the amount of movement (and the amount of energy required) by shuffling your feet side to side. Stand in the basic ready stance and move sideways in a straight line. Keep your body low to the ground.
Do not cross your feet over one another while shuffling. You might trip.
Once you’ve got the hang of shuffling your feet, start integrating it into other drills, such as passing the ball to another player.
1-4. Learn how to serve the ball.
Serving the ball is done from one back corner of the court. The ball is hit over the net. This puts the ball in motion in the game. To serve the ball, toss the ball straight up into the air with one hand. Bring your other arm up over your head to hit the middle of the ball. Make sure to fully extend your arm, and make contact with the ball when your arm is extended. It is also important to make sure the ball is in front of you when you make contact with it. Keep your arm moving downward in order to follow through with the hit. Your footwork is also very important here, as it can determine how hard you hit the ball, and if it even goes over the net. you can either start with the foot opposite of the hand you're hitting with, or on the same side as your hitting hand. If you start on the same side that you hit with, you will take another step, and lean on that opposite foot for leverage.If you start on the opposite foot you hit with, you will simply toss the ball, and lean in as you hit. You will need to see which works best for you, and also practice your timing.
1-5. Learn to pass the ball.
Stand in the basic ready position as the ball is moving downward. Position yourself just behind where the ball will land. The earlier you’re ready to hit the ball, the more time you have to make minor adjustments.
Put your arms together in front of you with your elbows close together. Hold the back of your hand in the palm of your other hand and press your thumbs together. Don’t swing your arms; rather, move your shoulders to pass the ball.
Use the force of your core and lower body to power the ball in the right direction.
1-6. Learn to set the ball.
Setting the ball is a maneuver in which one player makes contact with the ball, setting it up for another player to spike the ball. Set the ball by raising your arms above your head. Touch all of your fingertips together and then pull your hands apart so there is just enough room for the volleyball. When the ball comes down over the net or is passed from another player on your team, get under the ball and bounce it up with your fingertips.
Do not touch the ball with your palms. A correct set uses only the fingertips of the thumbs, index fingers and middle fingers.
Work up to properly setting the ball by first catching the ball in between your fingertips. Once you’ve mastered the ball settling into your hands smoothly and with balance, then work on springing the ball into the air with your fingertips.
1-7. Learn to spike the ball.
Spiking the ball is a technique to hit the ball forcefully over the net so that the other team has a hard time recovering the ball. Spike the ball after another player on your team sets the ball. As the ball moves upward in the air, jump up to meet the ball at its highest point. Hit the top of the ball with the middle of your hand: this will give the ball a solid top-spin, sending it over the net.
Spiking the ball effectively requires good timing. If you jump too early or too late, you’ll miss hitting the ball at the best position. Practice spiking frequently to hone your timing.
1-8. Develop a good sense of timing.
Volleyball is a sport that demands keeping your eye on the ball at all times and knowing when to pass, spike or hit the ball over the net. Having a good sense of timing will strengthen your defense.
Develop your sense of timing by practicing drills that emphasize timing, such as blocking the ball at the net. Blocking the ball will demand that you watch the ball carefully and keep your eye on other players’ movements.
2. Practicing Your Techniques
2-1. Practice serving to a target.
Set up a target such as a ball cart at an opposite back corner of the court from where you’re standing. Practice serving the ball to the target. Count how many balls hit the target or land in the ball cart.
2-2. Practice with a basketball hoop.
A basketball hoop is a good partner for practicing techniques such as passing, setting and serving.
Pass or set the ball towards the hoop. Stand at the foul line, or about 15 feet (5 m) away. Toss the ball into the air and pass or set the ball towards the hoop. Try making a basket with your passes.
Serve the volleyball at the hoop. Start at the foul line, or about 15 feet (5 m) away. Aim for the square on the backboard. Try hitting the square 10 times in a row.
2-3. Practice against a wall.
When you don’t have a partner, you can still use a solid, smooth wall as an imaginary partner. Use the wall by passing the ball towards the wall. Hit the ball when it rebounds to you.
2-4. Practice like you’re in a game.
If you are able to practice on a volleyball court with a net and a partner, always practice like you’re playing in a game. For example, if you are working on passing the ball, have your partner send the ball over the net to you. If you are practicing spiking the ball, do so over the net.
2-5. Practice other drills.
There are many combinations of drills that integrate serving, passing, setting and other skills. Search online for suggestions, or talk with your coach or trainer to learn more drills.
3. Improving Your Vertical Jump Height
3-1. Measure your current vertical jump height.
Having a high vertical jump will enable you to be a more formidable player, giving you an advantage over your opponent. Achieve high jumping with plyometrics, which are movements that are completed with a lot of force very quickly. Measuring your current jump height will give you a good indication of how much you are improving. To measure your height:
Ask someone to observe you. Jump up as high as you can next to a wall while reaching your arms upward. Have your observer mark on the wall how high you jumped and measure the height.
You can also put a bit of chalk on your hands. As you jump up against a wall, extend your arm upward and touch the wall at the highest point you can reach. Measure that height.
3-2. Jump onto a box or bench.
Use a surface that is about 2 feet (0.6 m) off the ground, such as a jump box or bench. Face the box and jump on it with both feet landing flat and balanced. Do 3 sets of 20 repetitions every day. When this height becomes easy for you, add more height and challenge yourself further.
3-3. Do jump shrugging.
Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart and hold 10-pound weights in each hand at your sides. Bend your knees and jump up in the air. At the same time, shrug your shoulders to help lift the weights. Land back down with both feet firmly balanced on the floor. Complete 3 sets of 25 repetitions every day.
When this weight becomes easy, increase your weights in 5-poumd increments.
Alternately, use a medicine ball instead of weights. Lift the ball above your head as you jump up. Bring the ball back to your chest when you land on the ground.
3-4. Try jump roping.
In between other exercises, jump rope as quickly as possible for 30-second intervals. This will not only improve your ability to jump quickly and with height, but it will also improve your endurance and cardio performance.
3-5. Strengthen your leg muscles.
Training your leg muscles will help you jump higher with more force. Do squats, deadlift weight training, and other strength training for your legs 2-3 times a week.
3-6. Re-measure your jump height after 2 weeks.
After spending two weeks on these types of jump training exercises, re-measure your jump height to see how much you have improved. If you haven’t improved as much as you’d like, keep working at these drills.
4. Getting Your Body in Shape
4-1. Get regular exercise.
Doing a variety of exercises, from cardio to strength training, will help you get your body in shape to play volleyball effectively. Plan to exercise for an hour 4-5 times per week.
Consult with your physician before starting any exercise program.
4-2. Strengthen your upper body.
Having a strong upper body is essential so that you are able to block and spike the ball with force. Do exercises that build muscle strength in your chest, shoulders, arms and core, such as rowing, bench pressing and push pressing. Doing core strengthening exercises, such as Pilates, will also help.
4-3. Strengthen your leg muscles.
Training your leg muscles will help you jump higher with more force. Do squats, deadlift weight training, and other strength training for your legs 2-3 times a week.
4-4. Schedule rest and recovery days.
Your muscles will need breaks from intense training that you will do, so be sure to schedule days off to allow your body to recover. Have an intense training day on Friday, for example, and give yourself rest days on the weekend.
4-5. Get lots of sleep.
Being well rested will replenish your energy level every day so that you are ready to give it your all on the court. Get about 7-8 hours of sleep every night, and 1-2 additional hours per night if you are a teenager.
4-6. Eat well.
Feed your body with foods rich in nutrients and vitamins. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, along with protein and whole grains. Avoid refined sugars and refined carbohydrates.
4-7. Drink lots of water.
Keep your body hydrated, especially when you are exercising rigorously every day. Before you exercise, drink an extra 25-30 ounces of water, and then drink 8 ounces of water for every 15 minutes you exercise.
5. Learning from Others
5-1. Work with a coach or trainer.
Find a qualified coach or trainer who can work with you one-on-one to help you with drills and technique. Talk with the coaching staff at your school, community center or at a volleyball camp in your area to find a person who is willing to take you on.
Alternately, find a player with more years of experience than you. This person may be willing to mentor you and help you improve your skills.
5-2. Join a team.
Volleyball teams are organized through schools, community centers and YMCA centers. Join a team or league to get regular practice and to participate in scrimmages or matches.
5-3. Attend summer camps or clinics.
Ask your coach or other teammates about summer camps or clinics that they might recommend. These range from one day clinics to week-long camps. Search online for a camp or clinic in your area.
5-4. Watch volleyball matches in person and on TV.
Watch how professionals play the game. Pay attention to their strategies, strengths, weaknesses, and interactions with other players.
Tips
Be patient when practicing volleyball. Volleyball skills are mastered through repetition and drills. This will take time, but with dedication and focus, your practicing will pay off.[17]
X
Research source
Warnings
Check with your physician before starting any exercise program.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Basic Techniques\\n1-1. Acquire good equipment.\\nIn order to practice volleyball, you need access to good equipment, including a comfortable outfit that allows a range of body motion, shoes specifically designed for volleyball, and a good quality volleyball. As well, you should have access to a volleyball net and court.\\nMen, especially taller men, may need to opt for a basketball shoe instead of a volleyball shoe.\\nIn order to do some volleyball drills, it can be helpful to practice against a tall smooth wall or a basketball hoop.\\n1-2. Practice the basic volleyball stance.\\nWhen you play volleyball, you will assume a basic ready position. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and bend your knees. Make sure your body weight is more on the balls of your feet so that you are ready to move quickly. Hold your arms loosely in front of you\\n1-3. Practice shuffling your feet.\\nMany volleyball moves require you to move quickly from side to side. Minimize the amount of movement (and the amount of energy required) by shuffling your feet side to side. Stand in the basic ready stance and move sideways in a straight line. Keep your body low to the ground.\\nDo not cross your feet over one another while shuffling. You might trip.\\nOnce you’ve got the hang of shuffling your feet, start integrating it into other drills, such as passing the ball to another player.\\n1-4. Learn how to serve the ball.\\nServing the ball is done from one back corner of the court. The ball is hit over the net. This puts the ball in motion in the game. To serve the ball, toss the ball straight up into the air with one hand. Bring your other arm up over your head to hit the middle of the ball. Make sure to fully extend your arm, and make contact with the ball when your arm is extended. It is also important to make sure the ball is in front of you when you make contact with it. Keep your arm moving downward in order to follow through with the hit. Your footwork is also very important here, as it can determine how hard you hit the ball, and if it even goes over the net. you can either start with the foot opposite of the hand you're hitting with, or on the same side as your hitting hand. If you start on the same side that you hit with, you will take another step, and lean on that opposite foot for leverage.If you start on the opposite foot you hit with, you will simply toss the ball, and lean in as you hit. You will need to see which works best for you, and also practice your timing.\\n1-5. Learn to pass the ball.\\nStand in the basic ready position as the ball is moving downward. Position yourself just behind where the ball will land. The earlier you’re ready to hit the ball, the more time you have to make minor adjustments.\\nPut your arms together in front of you with your elbows close together. Hold the back of your hand in the palm of your other hand and press your thumbs together. Don’t swing your arms; rather, move your shoulders to pass the ball.\\nUse the force of your core and lower body to power the ball in the right direction.\\n1-6. Learn to set the ball.\\nSetting the ball is a maneuver in which one player makes contact with the ball, setting it up for another player to spike the ball. Set the ball by raising your arms above your head. Touch all of your fingertips together and then pull your hands apart so there is just enough room for the volleyball. When the ball comes down over the net or is passed from another player on your team, get under the ball and bounce it up with your fingertips.\\nDo not touch the ball with your palms. A correct set uses only the fingertips of the thumbs, index fingers and middle fingers.\\nWork up to properly setting the ball by first catching the ball in between your fingertips. Once you’ve mastered the ball settling into your hands smoothly and with balance, then work on springing the ball into the air with your fingertips.\\n1-7. Learn to spike the ball.\\nSpiking the ball is a technique to hit the ball forcefully over the net so that the other team has a hard time recovering the ball. Spike the ball after another player on your team sets the ball. As the ball moves upward in the air, jump up to meet the ball at its highest point. Hit the top of the ball with the middle of your hand: this will give the ball a solid top-spin, sending it over the net.\\nSpiking the ball effectively requires good timing. If you jump too early or too late, you’ll miss hitting the ball at the best position. Practice spiking frequently to hone your timing.\\n1-8. Develop a good sense of timing.\\nVolleyball is a sport that demands keeping your eye on the ball at all times and knowing when to pass, spike or hit the ball over the net. Having a good sense of timing will strengthen your defense.\\nDevelop your sense of timing by practicing drills that emphasize timing, such as blocking the ball at the net. Blocking the ball will demand that you watch the ball carefully and keep your eye on other players’ movements.\\n2. Practicing Your Techniques\\n2-1. Practice serving to a target.\\nSet up a target such as a ball cart at an opposite back corner of the court from where you’re standing. Practice serving the ball to the target. Count how many balls hit the target or land in the ball cart.\\n2-2. Practice with a basketball hoop.\\nA basketball hoop is a good partner for practicing techniques such as passing, setting and serving.\\nPass or set the ball towards the hoop. Stand at the foul line, or about 15 feet (5 m) away. Toss the ball into the air and pass or set the ball towards the hoop. Try making a basket with your passes.\\nServe the volleyball at the hoop. Start at the foul line, or about 15 feet (5 m) away. Aim for the square on the backboard. Try hitting the square 10 times in a row.\\n2-3. Practice against a wall.\\nWhen you don’t have a partner, you can still use a solid, smooth wall as an imaginary partner. Use the wall by passing the ball towards the wall. Hit the ball when it rebounds to you.\\n2-4. Practice like you’re in a game.\\nIf you are able to practice on a volleyball court with a net and a partner, always practice like you’re playing in a game. For example, if you are working on passing the ball, have your partner send the ball over the net to you. If you are practicing spiking the ball, do so over the net.\\n2-5. Practice other drills.\\nThere are many combinations of drills that integrate serving, passing, setting and other skills. Search online for suggestions, or talk with your coach or trainer to learn more drills.\\n3. Improving Your Vertical Jump Height\\n3-1. Measure your current vertical jump height.\\nHaving a high vertical jump will enable you to be a more formidable player, giving you an advantage over your opponent. Achieve high jumping with plyometrics, which are movements that are completed with a lot of force very quickly. Measuring your current jump height will give you a good indication of how much you are improving. To measure your height:\\nAsk someone to observe you. Jump up as high as you can next to a wall while reaching your arms upward. Have your observer mark on the wall how high you jumped and measure the height.\\nYou can also put a bit of chalk on your hands. As you jump up against a wall, extend your arm upward and touch the wall at the highest point you can reach. Measure that height.\\n3-2. Jump onto a box or bench.\\nUse a surface that is about 2 feet (0.6 m) off the ground, such as a jump box or bench. Face the box and jump on it with both feet landing flat and balanced. Do 3 sets of 20 repetitions every day. When this height becomes easy for you, add more height and challenge yourself further.\\n3-3. Do jump shrugging.\\nStand with your legs shoulder-width apart and hold 10-pound weights in each hand at your sides. Bend your knees and jump up in the air. At the same time, shrug your shoulders to help lift the weights. Land back down with both feet firmly balanced on the floor. Complete 3 sets of 25 repetitions every day.\\nWhen this weight becomes easy, increase your weights in 5-poumd increments.\\nAlternately, use a medicine ball instead of weights. Lift the ball above your head as you jump up. Bring the ball back to your chest when you land on the ground.\\n3-4. Try jump roping.\\nIn between other exercises, jump rope as quickly as possible for 30-second intervals. This will not only improve your ability to jump quickly and with height, but it will also improve your endurance and cardio performance.\\n3-5. Strengthen your leg muscles.\\nTraining your leg muscles will help you jump higher with more force. Do squats, deadlift weight training, and other strength training for your legs 2-3 times a week.\\n3-6. Re-measure your jump height after 2 weeks.\\nAfter spending two weeks on these types of jump training exercises, re-measure your jump height to see how much you have improved. If you haven’t improved as much as you’d like, keep working at these drills.\\n4. Getting Your Body in Shape\\n4-1. Get regular exercise.\\nDoing a variety of exercises, from cardio to strength training, will help you get your body in shape to play volleyball effectively. Plan to exercise for an hour 4-5 times per week.\\nConsult with your physician before starting any exercise program.\\n4-2. Strengthen your upper body.\\nHaving a strong upper body is essential so that you are able to block and spike the ball with force. Do exercises that build muscle strength in your chest, shoulders, arms and core, such as rowing, bench pressing and push pressing. Doing core strengthening exercises, such as Pilates, will also help.\\n4-3. Strengthen your leg muscles.\\nTraining your leg muscles will help you jump higher with more force. Do squats, deadlift weight training, and other strength training for your legs 2-3 times a week.\\n4-4. Schedule rest and recovery days.\\nYour muscles will need breaks from intense training that you will do, so be sure to schedule days off to allow your body to recover. Have an intense training day on Friday, for example, and give yourself rest days on the weekend.\\n4-5. Get lots of sleep.\\nBeing well rested will replenish your energy level every day so that you are ready to give it your all on the court. Get about 7-8 hours of sleep every night, and 1-2 additional hours per night if you are a teenager.\\n4-6. Eat well.\\nFeed your body with foods rich in nutrients and vitamins. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, along with protein and whole grains. Avoid refined sugars and refined carbohydrates.\\n4-7. Drink lots of water.\\nKeep your body hydrated, especially when you are exercising rigorously every day. Before you exercise, drink an extra 25-30 ounces of water, and then drink 8 ounces of water for every 15 minutes you exercise.\\n5. Learning from Others\\n5-1. Work with a coach or trainer.\\nFind a qualified coach or trainer who can work with you one-on-one to help you with drills and technique. Talk with the coaching staff at your school, community center or at a volleyball camp in your area to find a person who is willing to take you on.\\nAlternately, find a player with more years of experience than you. This person may be willing to mentor you and help you improve your skills.\\n5-2. Join a team.\\nVolleyball teams are organized through schools, community centers and YMCA centers. Join a team or league to get regular practice and to participate in scrimmages or matches.\\n5-3. Attend summer camps or clinics.\\nAsk your coach or other teammates about summer camps or clinics that they might recommend. These range from one day clinics to week-long camps. Search online for a camp or clinic in your area.\\n5-4. Watch volleyball matches in person and on TV.\\nWatch how professionals play the game. Pay attention to their strategies, strengths, weaknesses, and interactions with other players.\\nTips\\nBe patient when practicing volleyball. Volleyball skills are mastered through repetition and drills. This will take time, but with dedication and focus, your practicing will pay off.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nCheck with your physician before starting any exercise program.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re playing volleyball at school, at a community center, or on the beach, strive to be the best player you can be. Developing from an average player to a good player demands patience, dedication and a focus on improving your skills. You can hone your skills by being willing to constantly learn, change tactics and practice a lot.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Basic Techniques\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acquire good equipment.\", \"描述\": \"In order to practice volleyball, you need access to good equipment, including a comfortable outfit that allows a range of body motion, shoes specifically designed for volleyball, and a good quality volleyball. As well, you should have access to a volleyball net and court.\\nMen, especially taller men, may need to opt for a basketball shoe instead of a volleyball shoe.\\nIn order to do some volleyball drills, it can be helpful to practice against a tall smooth wall or a basketball hoop.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice the basic volleyball stance.\", \"描述\": \"When you play volleyball, you will assume a basic ready position. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and bend your knees. Make sure your body weight is more on the balls of your feet so that you are ready to move quickly. Hold your arms loosely in front of you\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice shuffling your feet.\", \"描述\": \"Many volleyball moves require you to move quickly from side to side. Minimize the amount of movement (and the amount of energy required) by shuffling your feet side to side. Stand in the basic ready stance and move sideways in a straight line. Keep your body low to the ground.\\nDo not cross your feet over one another while shuffling. You might trip.\\nOnce you’ve got the hang of shuffling your feet, start integrating it into other drills, such as passing the ball to another player.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn how to serve the ball.\", \"描述\": \"Serving the ball is done from one back corner of the court. The ball is hit over the net. This puts the ball in motion in the game. To serve the ball, toss the ball straight up into the air with one hand. Bring your other arm up over your head to hit the middle of the ball. Make sure to fully extend your arm, and make contact with the ball when your arm is extended. It is also important to make sure the ball is in front of you when you make contact with it. Keep your arm moving downward in order to follow through with the hit. Your footwork is also very important here, as it can determine how hard you hit the ball, and if it even goes over the net. you can either start with the foot opposite of the hand you're hitting with, or on the same side as your hitting hand. If you start on the same side that you hit with, you will take another step, and lean on that opposite foot for leverage.If you start on the opposite foot you hit with, you will simply toss the ball, and lean in as you hit. You will need to see which works best for you, and also practice your timing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to pass the ball.\", \"描述\": \"Stand in the basic ready position as the ball is moving downward. Position yourself just behind where the ball will land. The earlier you’re ready to hit the ball, the more time you have to make minor adjustments.\\nPut your arms together in front of you with your elbows close together. Hold the back of your hand in the palm of your other hand and press your thumbs together. Don’t swing your arms; rather, move your shoulders to pass the ball.\\nUse the force of your core and lower body to power the ball in the right direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to set the ball.\", \"描述\": \"Setting the ball is a maneuver in which one player makes contact with the ball, setting it up for another player to spike the ball. Set the ball by raising your arms above your head. Touch all of your fingertips together and then pull your hands apart so there is just enough room for the volleyball. When the ball comes down over the net or is passed from another player on your team, get under the ball and bounce it up with your fingertips.\\nDo not touch the ball with your palms. A correct set uses only the fingertips of the thumbs, index fingers and middle fingers.\\nWork up to properly setting the ball by first catching the ball in between your fingertips. Once you’ve mastered the ball settling into your hands smoothly and with balance, then work on springing the ball into the air with your fingertips.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Learn to spike the ball.\", \"描述\": \"Spiking the ball is a technique to hit the ball forcefully over the net so that the other team has a hard time recovering the ball. Spike the ball after another player on your team sets the ball. As the ball moves upward in the air, jump up to meet the ball at its highest point. Hit the top of the ball with the middle of your hand: this will give the ball a solid top-spin, sending it over the net.\\nSpiking the ball effectively requires good timing. If you jump too early or too late, you’ll miss hitting the ball at the best position. Practice spiking frequently to hone your timing.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Develop a good sense of timing.\", \"描述\": \"Volleyball is a sport that demands keeping your eye on the ball at all times and knowing when to pass, spike or hit the ball over the net. Having a good sense of timing will strengthen your defense.\\nDevelop your sense of timing by practicing drills that emphasize timing, such as blocking the ball at the net. Blocking the ball will demand that you watch the ball carefully and keep your eye on other players’ movements.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Your Techniques\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice serving to a target.\", \"描述\": \"Set up a target such as a ball cart at an opposite back corner of the court from where you’re standing. Practice serving the ball to the target. Count how many balls hit the target or land in the ball cart.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice with a basketball hoop.\", \"描述\": \"A basketball hoop is a good partner for practicing techniques such as passing, setting and serving.\\nPass or set the ball towards the hoop. Stand at the foul line, or about 15 feet (5 m) away. Toss the ball into the air and pass or set the ball towards the hoop. Try making a basket with your passes.\\nServe the volleyball at the hoop. Start at the foul line, or about 15 feet (5 m) away. Aim for the square on the backboard. Try hitting the square 10 times in a row.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice against a wall.\", \"描述\": \"When you don’t have a partner, you can still use a solid, smooth wall as an imaginary partner. Use the wall by passing the ball towards the wall. Hit the ball when it rebounds to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice like you’re in a game.\", \"描述\": \"If you are able to practice on a volleyball court with a net and a partner, always practice like you’re playing in a game. For example, if you are working on passing the ball, have your partner send the ball over the net to you. If you are practicing spiking the ball, do so over the net.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice other drills.\", \"描述\": \"There are many combinations of drills that integrate serving, passing, setting and other skills. Search online for suggestions, or talk with your coach or trainer to learn more drills.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Vertical Jump Height\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Measure your current vertical jump height.\", \"描述\": \"Having a high vertical jump will enable you to be a more formidable player, giving you an advantage over your opponent. Achieve high jumping with plyometrics, which are movements that are completed with a lot of force very quickly. Measuring your current jump height will give you a good indication of how much you are improving. To measure your height:\\nAsk someone to observe you. Jump up as high as you can next to a wall while reaching your arms upward. Have your observer mark on the wall how high you jumped and measure the height.\\nYou can also put a bit of chalk on your hands. As you jump up against a wall, extend your arm upward and touch the wall at the highest point you can reach. Measure that height.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Jump onto a box or bench.\", \"描述\": \"Use a surface that is about 2 feet (0.6 m) off the ground, such as a jump box or bench. Face the box and jump on it with both feet landing flat and balanced. Do 3 sets of 20 repetitions every day. When this height becomes easy for you, add more height and challenge yourself further.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do jump shrugging.\", \"描述\": \"Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart and hold 10-pound weights in each hand at your sides. Bend your knees and jump up in the air. At the same time, shrug your shoulders to help lift the weights. Land back down with both feet firmly balanced on the floor. Complete 3 sets of 25 repetitions every day.\\nWhen this weight becomes easy, increase your weights in 5-poumd increments.\\nAlternately, use a medicine ball instead of weights. Lift the ball above your head as you jump up. Bring the ball back to your chest when you land on the ground.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try jump roping.\", \"描述\": \"In between other exercises, jump rope as quickly as possible for 30-second intervals. This will not only improve your ability to jump quickly and with height, but it will also improve your endurance and cardio performance.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your leg muscles.\", \"描述\": \"Training your leg muscles will help you jump higher with more force. Do squats, deadlift weight training, and other strength training for your legs 2-3 times a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Re-measure your jump height after 2 weeks.\", \"描述\": \"After spending two weeks on these types of jump training exercises, re-measure your jump height to see how much you have improved. If you haven’t improved as much as you’d like, keep working at these drills.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting Your Body in Shape\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get regular exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Doing a variety of exercises, from cardio to strength training, will help you get your body in shape to play volleyball effectively. Plan to exercise for an hour 4-5 times per week.\\nConsult with your physician before starting any exercise program.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your upper body.\", \"描述\": \"Having a strong upper body is essential so that you are able to block and spike the ball with force. Do exercises that build muscle strength in your chest, shoulders, arms and core, such as rowing, bench pressing and push pressing. Doing core strengthening exercises, such as Pilates, will also help.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your leg muscles.\", \"描述\": \"Training your leg muscles will help you jump higher with more force. Do squats, deadlift weight training, and other strength training for your legs 2-3 times a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Schedule rest and recovery days.\", \"描述\": \"Your muscles will need breaks from intense training that you will do, so be sure to schedule days off to allow your body to recover. Have an intense training day on Friday, for example, and give yourself rest days on the weekend.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get lots of sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Being well rested will replenish your energy level every day so that you are ready to give it your all on the court. Get about 7-8 hours of sleep every night, and 1-2 additional hours per night if you are a teenager.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Eat well.\", \"描述\": \"Feed your body with foods rich in nutrients and vitamins. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, along with protein and whole grains. Avoid refined sugars and refined carbohydrates.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Drink lots of water.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your body hydrated, especially when you are exercising rigorously every day. Before you exercise, drink an extra 25-30 ounces of water, and then drink 8 ounces of water for every 15 minutes you exercise.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learning from Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work with a coach or trainer.\", \"描述\": \"Find a qualified coach or trainer who can work with you one-on-one to help you with drills and technique. Talk with the coaching staff at your school, community center or at a volleyball camp in your area to find a person who is willing to take you on.\\nAlternately, find a player with more years of experience than you. This person may be willing to mentor you and help you improve your skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a team.\", \"描述\": \"Volleyball teams are organized through schools, community centers and YMCA centers. Join a team or league to get regular practice and to participate in scrimmages or matches.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend summer camps or clinics.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your coach or other teammates about summer camps or clinics that they might recommend. These range from one day clinics to week-long camps. Search online for a camp or clinic in your area.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch volleyball matches in person and on TV.\", \"描述\": \"Watch how professionals play the game. Pay attention to their strategies, strengths, weaknesses, and interactions with other players.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be patient when practicing volleyball. Volleyball skills are mastered through repetition and drills. This will take time, but with dedication and focus, your practicing will pay off.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Check with your physician before starting any exercise program.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,779 | How to Be Good at Yu Gi Oh! | 1. Steps
1-1. Learn how to play Yu-Gi-Oh.
Familiarize yourself with the rules, as well as different card interactions and mechanics. Yu-Gi-Oh! is a complicated game, so it is recommended that you keep the rulebook and wiki handy while playing, get advice from a more experienced player, and/or use a fully automatic online simulator like YGOPro or DevPro while you are learning.
Also have a good understanding of the more complex mechanics such as chaining, targeting, missing the timing, and different conjunctions.
1-2. Build a good deck.
Focus on one central archetype or theme in your deck, not a random collection of cards that don't work together. An archetype is a group of cards who share a common word or phrase in their name, whose effects support other cards of that archetype. Make sure your cards don't clash with each other, and take out cards that are useless in most situations. If you don't know what to build, you can look online for popular decks or even copy someone else's deck to get the hang of playing and deck-building.
Have a good balance of monsters, spells, and traps. A good ratio is 15-20 monsters, 10-15 spells, and 5-10 traps, but you don't have to follow this exactly.
Use effect monsters unless your deck focuses on normal monsters, since effect monsters are generally more useful. Get ones with good effects and stats, and don't use too many high-level ones or ones you can't summon easily. Have spells that destroy monsters, help you summon or search stuff, destroy spells and traps, and protect your monsters. Use traps that prevent summons, destroy stuff, negate stuff, and prevent attacks.
Keep your deck at 40 cards, or as close to 40 as possible. Keeping you deck close to the lower limit will help you draw the cards you need to win. If decking out is a serious problem for your deck, you could increase it to 41 or 42.
1-3. Build an Extra Deck.
The Extra Deck contains Fusion, Synchro, and Xyz monsters which you can summon using their own summoning mechanics. Since the monsters in the Extra Deck are so accessible and have useful effects, it can be a good way to save yourself or push for a win. There is a limit of 15 cards in the Extra Deck, so fit in as many as you can.
Xyz monsters are the most summonable cards in the Extra Deck. Since they only require two monsters of the same level, nearly all decks can bring them out. If your deck has three or more easily summoned monsters of the same level, you should include at least a few Xyz monsters of that Rank.
Synchro monsters will require a Tuner. Add the levels of your tuner(s) to your most commonly summoned monsters, and include some Synchro monsters of that level. Make sure you can fulfill any specific summoning requirements of the Synchro monsters, and that their effects will help your deck.
Fusion monsters are more specialized. Only use them if your deck is designed around Fusion. Use the ones with good effects and materials that are not overly specific.
1-4. Test your deck.
Find someone to duel against to see how well your deck runs. If a card just seems to be clogging up your deck, take it out. If your deck has a glaring weakness to something, shore it up with spell/trap cards. If you don't know what to use, you can check online for other people's builds to get more ideas or post in a forum for critique.
1-5. Understand card advantage.
Advantage is described in terms of pluses and minuses. For example, if you have 4 cards in your hand and play Pot of Greed, you will end up with 5 cards in your hand. Therefore, Pot of Greed is a +1 to hand advantage. Don't play cards that will use up a lot of your resources to accomplish very little. Instead, play cards that will increase your advantage. Also, be wary of cards that let your opponent draw or force you to skip drawing. These cards can be good if you are pushing for a win, but don't use them when it would help your opponent more than you.
Spells and Traps that make you discard cards are usually very powerful, but could be bad in a deck that can't maintain a large hand. On the other hand, paying life points or giving them to your opponent seems like a bad deal, but paying some LP is better than losing, and a few powerful attacks can easily take back any LP they've gained.
1-6. Know the current metagame.
In any given Yu-Gi-Oh! format, there will be a couple of decks which stand above the others in terms of consistency or power. Get to know these decks and their playstyles, so you will know how to play when facing one of these decks.
1-7. Understand card effects.
Make sure to read all cards in your deck and all cards an opponent plays carefully, and have a good knowledge of what the text means. Read the full effect; don't just skim it. Be familiar with terms like "Excavate", "detach", "destroy", etc. If you use a card that you don't fully understand, look up rulings on it.
1-8. Build a Side Deck.
A side deck is an additional 15 cards that you can switch with cards in your deck in between duels in a match (a set of three duels). It contains cards that are good in certain matchups, but are too situational to include in your main deck. If you will be playing in tournaments, a Side deck will help immensely. If you are not, it won't be necessary. Include in your side deck cards that shore up your deck's weaknesses and which help against the most common decks of that format.
Tips
Include staples in your deck. These are cards that are so good they can be included in almost any deck. Examples are Mystical Space Typhoon, Upstart Goblin, Raigeki, Book of Moon, Torrential Tribute, Solemn Warning, Bottomless Trap Hole, etc.
If you will be participating in tournaments, your deck must follow the banlist. Also, many players will not like you using banned cards.
Plan out your deck before spending money on it in real life. Test it in online simulators.
Warnings
Don't stack. This is cheating.
Don't be mean. It does not matter if you win or lose, just have fun.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Learn how to play Yu-Gi-Oh.\\nFamiliarize yourself with the rules, as well as different card interactions and mechanics. Yu-Gi-Oh! is a complicated game, so it is recommended that you keep the rulebook and wiki handy while playing, get advice from a more experienced player, and/or use a fully automatic online simulator like YGOPro or DevPro while you are learning.\\nAlso have a good understanding of the more complex mechanics such as chaining, targeting, missing the timing, and different conjunctions.\\n1-2. Build a good deck.\\nFocus on one central archetype or theme in your deck, not a random collection of cards that don't work together. An archetype is a group of cards who share a common word or phrase in their name, whose effects support other cards of that archetype. Make sure your cards don't clash with each other, and take out cards that are useless in most situations. If you don't know what to build, you can look online for popular decks or even copy someone else's deck to get the hang of playing and deck-building.\\nHave a good balance of monsters, spells, and traps. A good ratio is 15-20 monsters, 10-15 spells, and 5-10 traps, but you don't have to follow this exactly.\\nUse effect monsters unless your deck focuses on normal monsters, since effect monsters are generally more useful. Get ones with good effects and stats, and don't use too many high-level ones or ones you can't summon easily. Have spells that destroy monsters, help you summon or search stuff, destroy spells and traps, and protect your monsters. Use traps that prevent summons, destroy stuff, negate stuff, and prevent attacks.\\nKeep your deck at 40 cards, or as close to 40 as possible. Keeping you deck close to the lower limit will help you draw the cards you need to win. If decking out is a serious problem for your deck, you could increase it to 41 or 42.\\n1-3. Build an Extra Deck.\\nThe Extra Deck contains Fusion, Synchro, and Xyz monsters which you can summon using their own summoning mechanics. Since the monsters in the Extra Deck are so accessible and have useful effects, it can be a good way to save yourself or push for a win. There is a limit of 15 cards in the Extra Deck, so fit in as many as you can.\\nXyz monsters are the most summonable cards in the Extra Deck. Since they only require two monsters of the same level, nearly all decks can bring them out. If your deck has three or more easily summoned monsters of the same level, you should include at least a few Xyz monsters of that Rank.\\nSynchro monsters will require a Tuner. Add the levels of your tuner(s) to your most commonly summoned monsters, and include some Synchro monsters of that level. Make sure you can fulfill any specific summoning requirements of the Synchro monsters, and that their effects will help your deck.\\nFusion monsters are more specialized. Only use them if your deck is designed around Fusion. Use the ones with good effects and materials that are not overly specific.\\n1-4. Test your deck.\\nFind someone to duel against to see how well your deck runs. If a card just seems to be clogging up your deck, take it out. If your deck has a glaring weakness to something, shore it up with spell/trap cards. If you don't know what to use, you can check online for other people's builds to get more ideas or post in a forum for critique.\\n1-5. Understand card advantage.\\nAdvantage is described in terms of pluses and minuses. For example, if you have 4 cards in your hand and play Pot of Greed, you will end up with 5 cards in your hand. Therefore, Pot of Greed is a +1 to hand advantage. Don't play cards that will use up a lot of your resources to accomplish very little. Instead, play cards that will increase your advantage. Also, be wary of cards that let your opponent draw or force you to skip drawing. These cards can be good if you are pushing for a win, but don't use them when it would help your opponent more than you.\\nSpells and Traps that make you discard cards are usually very powerful, but could be bad in a deck that can't maintain a large hand. On the other hand, paying life points or giving them to your opponent seems like a bad deal, but paying some LP is better than losing, and a few powerful attacks can easily take back any LP they've gained.\\n1-6. Know the current metagame.\\nIn any given Yu-Gi-Oh! format, there will be a couple of decks which stand above the others in terms of consistency or power. Get to know these decks and their playstyles, so you will know how to play when facing one of these decks.\\n1-7. Understand card effects.\\nMake sure to read all cards in your deck and all cards an opponent plays carefully, and have a good knowledge of what the text means. Read the full effect; don't just skim it. Be familiar with terms like \\\"Excavate\\\", \\\"detach\\\", \\\"destroy\\\", etc. If you use a card that you don't fully understand, look up rulings on it.\\n1-8. Build a Side Deck.\\nA side deck is an additional 15 cards that you can switch with cards in your deck in between duels in a match (a set of three duels). It contains cards that are good in certain matchups, but are too situational to include in your main deck. If you will be playing in tournaments, a Side deck will help immensely. If you are not, it won't be necessary. Include in your side deck cards that shore up your deck's weaknesses and which help against the most common decks of that format.\\nTips\\nInclude staples in your deck. These are cards that are so good they can be included in almost any deck. Examples are Mystical Space Typhoon, Upstart Goblin, Raigeki, Book of Moon, Torrential Tribute, Solemn Warning, Bottomless Trap Hole, etc.\\nIf you will be participating in tournaments, your deck must follow the banlist. Also, many players will not like you using banned cards.\\nPlan out your deck before spending money on it in real life. Test it in online simulators.\\nWarnings\\nDon't stack. This is cheating.\\nDon't be mean. It does not matter if you win or lose, just have fun.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you keep losing at Yu-Gi-Oh! and want to get better? This article will help you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn how to play Yu-Gi-Oh.\", \"描述\": \"Familiarize yourself with the rules, as well as different card interactions and mechanics. Yu-Gi-Oh! is a complicated game, so it is recommended that you keep the rulebook and wiki handy while playing, get advice from a more experienced player, and/or use a fully automatic online simulator like YGOPro or DevPro while you are learning.\\nAlso have a good understanding of the more complex mechanics such as chaining, targeting, missing the timing, and different conjunctions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build a good deck.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on one central archetype or theme in your deck, not a random collection of cards that don't work together. An archetype is a group of cards who share a common word or phrase in their name, whose effects support other cards of that archetype. Make sure your cards don't clash with each other, and take out cards that are useless in most situations. If you don't know what to build, you can look online for popular decks or even copy someone else's deck to get the hang of playing and deck-building.\\nHave a good balance of monsters, spells, and traps. A good ratio is 15-20 monsters, 10-15 spells, and 5-10 traps, but you don't have to follow this exactly.\\nUse effect monsters unless your deck focuses on normal monsters, since effect monsters are generally more useful. Get ones with good effects and stats, and don't use too many high-level ones or ones you can't summon easily. Have spells that destroy monsters, help you summon or search stuff, destroy spells and traps, and protect your monsters. Use traps that prevent summons, destroy stuff, negate stuff, and prevent attacks.\\nKeep your deck at 40 cards, or as close to 40 as possible. Keeping you deck close to the lower limit will help you draw the cards you need to win. If decking out is a serious problem for your deck, you could increase it to 41 or 42.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build an Extra Deck.\", \"描述\": \"The Extra Deck contains Fusion, Synchro, and Xyz monsters which you can summon using their own summoning mechanics. Since the monsters in the Extra Deck are so accessible and have useful effects, it can be a good way to save yourself or push for a win. There is a limit of 15 cards in the Extra Deck, so fit in as many as you can.\\nXyz monsters are the most summonable cards in the Extra Deck. Since they only require two monsters of the same level, nearly all decks can bring them out. If your deck has three or more easily summoned monsters of the same level, you should include at least a few Xyz monsters of that Rank.\\nSynchro monsters will require a Tuner. Add the levels of your tuner(s) to your most commonly summoned monsters, and include some Synchro monsters of that level. Make sure you can fulfill any specific summoning requirements of the Synchro monsters, and that their effects will help your deck.\\nFusion monsters are more specialized. Only use them if your deck is designed around Fusion. Use the ones with good effects and materials that are not overly specific.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Test your deck.\", \"描述\": \"Find someone to duel against to see how well your deck runs. If a card just seems to be clogging up your deck, take it out. If your deck has a glaring weakness to something, shore it up with spell/trap cards. If you don't know what to use, you can check online for other people's builds to get more ideas or post in a forum for critique.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand card advantage.\", \"描述\": \"Advantage is described in terms of pluses and minuses. For example, if you have 4 cards in your hand and play Pot of Greed, you will end up with 5 cards in your hand. Therefore, Pot of Greed is a +1 to hand advantage. Don't play cards that will use up a lot of your resources to accomplish very little. Instead, play cards that will increase your advantage. Also, be wary of cards that let your opponent draw or force you to skip drawing. These cards can be good if you are pushing for a win, but don't use them when it would help your opponent more than you.\\nSpells and Traps that make you discard cards are usually very powerful, but could be bad in a deck that can't maintain a large hand. On the other hand, paying life points or giving them to your opponent seems like a bad deal, but paying some LP is better than losing, and a few powerful attacks can easily take back any LP they've gained.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know the current metagame.\", \"描述\": \"In any given Yu-Gi-Oh! format, there will be a couple of decks which stand above the others in terms of consistency or power. Get to know these decks and their playstyles, so you will know how to play when facing one of these decks.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Understand card effects.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to read all cards in your deck and all cards an opponent plays carefully, and have a good knowledge of what the text means. Read the full effect; don't just skim it. Be familiar with terms like \\\"Excavate\\\", \\\"detach\\\", \\\"destroy\\\", etc. If you use a card that you don't fully understand, look up rulings on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Build a Side Deck.\", \"描述\": \"A side deck is an additional 15 cards that you can switch with cards in your deck in between duels in a match (a set of three duels). It contains cards that are good in certain matchups, but are too situational to include in your main deck. If you will be playing in tournaments, a Side deck will help immensely. If you are not, it won't be necessary. Include in your side deck cards that shore up your deck's weaknesses and which help against the most common decks of that format.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Include staples in your deck. These are cards that are so good they can be included in almost any deck. Examples are Mystical Space Typhoon, Upstart Goblin, Raigeki, Book of Moon, Torrential Tribute, Solemn Warning, Bottomless Trap Hole, etc.\\n\", \"If you will be participating in tournaments, your deck must follow the banlist. Also, many players will not like you using banned cards.\\n\", \"Plan out your deck before spending money on it in real life. Test it in online simulators.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't stack. This is cheating.\\n\", \"Don't be mean. It does not matter if you win or lose, just have fun.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,780 | How to Be Good to Yourself | 1. Taking Care of Yourself Every Day
1-1. Take a 10-minute time out.
If something is overwhelming you, or you feel like you’re being pulled in ten directions at once, take a time out. Stop doing whatever is stressing you out and do something enjoyable. Take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, read a chapter in a book, or whatever else makes you happy.
Taking a break will help you return to the task at hand with a clearer mind and feeling refreshed.
Try scheduling yourself a short break every two hours or so to make sure you take a moment to breathe, regroup, and reboot.
1-2. Learn to say no
There is no human requirement that says we must always say yes when others ask us to do something, even if we love and care about the person. And you’re not being selfish telling someone no.
If you have too many things on your plate any one day, don’t allow yourself to add more.
Focus on your priorities — Review all the things you have on your plate and evaluate if any new things you’ve been asked to do fit with your top priorities or are more important. If the things you’ve been asked to do are a low priority in your life right now, it’s probably a good idea to say no. If your friend asks if you can help him with his resume today, but you're taking your dad to the hospital for some tests, you can say, "You know, I really can't today."
Be realistic — Think realistically about what you can accomplish in a given day. Not only that, but what can you accomplish effectively? Maybe you can tackle 20 tasks in a day, but will you be able to do them well? Maybe adding one or two more things into the mix will hurt the quality of all your tasks for that day, because you're scrambling to do everything. Don't forget, at some point you need to eat and sleep to take care of yourself.
Eliminate guilt — Don’t agree to do something simply because saying no will make you feel guilty. It’s entirely possible that the person asking this of you is hoping you’ll feel guilty and say yes. If you are feeling guilty, think about all the times you have agreed to help people in the past. Remember that you can't please everyone all of the time; you can't say "yes" to everything, as much as you might want to. If someone gets mad at you for saying you can't do something, you may need to examine whether or not that person really cares about your wellbeing.
Take your time — Don’t say yes or no immediately. Tell the person asking you to do something that you need time to think about it. Then actually take that time. Sleep on it, think about it, and then make a final decision when you aren’t rushed.
1-3. Treat yourself.
You're special, so treat yourself once in a while for being special. Treat yourself to something that makes you smile. This might be treating yourself to a manicure or pedicure, buying yourself a pair of earrings you’ve had your eye on, getting that power tool that you really want, or going for a drive by yourself. Make an effort to treat yourself to something that is good for you and will help you feel refreshed and taken care of.
Treating yourself doesn’t have to include buying yourself something. For example, instead of going to a spa for a pedicure, give yourself one.
1-4. Be patient with yourself
Some days everything seems to go right, and other days everything seems to go wrong. Don’t punish yourself on those bad days. It’s okay if you’re not getting as much done as you had planned, or aren’t as fast at your work as you normally are. Just do your best. Remember that you aren't born with patience, and it's a skill you can work on.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to do, ask for help. Reach out to a friend, family member, or other confidant and ask for advice.
Give yourself a break. Go have a nap or a shower. Allow yourself to be refreshed and then restart what you were doing.
1-5. Accept the fact that life is uncertain
You can’t predict everything that is going to happen in your life, so don’t try. Sure, you can plan for some potential outcomes, but you don’t have to spend hours planning for every possible outcome to every decision you make. Accept the fact that you’re going to have uncertainty in your life, and that’s okay.
Consider uncertainty as an adventure. You don’t always know what’s around the bend, so let it be a surprise.
Try to think of uncertainty as something exciting and a chance to be spontaneous, not something to fear. After a breakup you may feel certain that you will never meet someone else — but of course that is not a certainty, and you may end up meeting someone amazing. You don't know who you'll meet, and that can be an adventure.
Try not to think about how things should be and start considering other possibilities and outcomes. Try practicing mindfulness, which can help you learn to be in the present moment and not worry so much about what might happen in the future.
2. Giving Yourself a Mental Break
2-1. Take care of yourself first.
If you think this may seem selfish, it isn't. A selfish person has little or no regard for others, and choosing yourself does mean you have no consideration for the wellbeing of others. You need to take care of yourself before you can really take care of anyone else.
Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act — it's being good to yourself.
A big part of learning to be good to yourself is learning to be self-compassionate. Beating yourself up over perceived shortcomings or mistakes isn't productive — it only leads to insecurity and self-loathing, and you may take these negative feelings out on other people. By showing compassion to yourself — being as kind and understating to yourself as you would your best friend and acknowledging our common humanity, or that everyone makes mistakes, just as everyone has triumphs — you can help yourself and be more compassionate toward others, too.
Try scheduling time to take care of yourself every day. To meditate, go for a run, paint — whatever makes you feel good.
2-2. Be happy as a single person
If you are are single, you, as an individual, have to choose a life that you love and are happy with, regardless of other people. You can’t plan your life on the assumption that it may one day include a significant other. If you're waiting to take that trip to Africa until you meet "the one," you may be missing out on an experience of a lifetime while you wait around for this person to show up. When you learn what makes you happy, and you go out and do it, your life will feel more fulfilling, regardless of whether or not you have a partner. Then, if someone great comes along, it’s a benefit.
Create personal goals that have nothing to do with a relationship or significant other. Ask yourself what you want for your life. For example, maybe your goal is to buy a new car in two years or move to another province in five years. Make plans regardless of what the future may hold. If your plans need to change at some point, that’s fine, but don’t avoid living your life “just in case” you find yourself in a relationship later.
2-3. Appreciate yourself as a whole.
We all have things we don’t like about ourselves, but we also all have things we really like about ourselves. Learn to appreciate both sets of things — the good and the bad. This is where practicing self-compassion can make a huge difference. Remember that we are all complex, fragile, and imperfect beings. Having a short temper or being bad at math doesn't make you any less worthy of love and compassion.
At the same time, remember that change is possible. If there's something you don't like about yourself — maybe that short temper makes it really difficult for you to communicate, or you often say things you don't mean — there's nothing that says you can't change. Just remember that you are a person in progress and be prepare to put in some hard work.
2-4. Avoid dwelling on past mistakes
We’re human, which means we make mistakes. But our mistakes should be used as an opportunity to learn and grow, not ruminate and rehash. Constantly thinking about your past mistakes and dwelling on the guilt you feel about them is not going to help you today or in the future. Instead, realize you’ve made a mistake, understand how to avoid making the mistake again, and move on.
Unfortunately, dwelling on the past can cause your present and your future to come to a stand still. Constantly thinking about what should have happened, what could have happened, or what would have happened had you done something different isn’t going to help you move forward.
While it is valuable to assess your mistakes in order to ensure they do not happen again, this doesn’t have to be done endlessly. Give yourself a time limit, then stop thinking about your mistake. For example, if you made a bad decision about something, take a day to think about how you could have made a better decision and then move on.
Try not to evaluate yourself when you make a mistake — or even when you are successful. You are worthy of compassion and understanding whether or not you sank that final shot at the buzzer, you passed the test, got the promotion, etc. Achieving these things doesn't somehow make you more worthy of self-love, just as not achieving them doesn't mean you are any less worthy.
2-5. Seek help when you need it.
Not every problem you encounter is going to be solvable by you and you alone. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Depending on the issue, that help can come from a minister, therapist, coach, teacher, doctor, or other trusted individual.
Think about the specific item you need help with and think about what kind of help would be useful. Do you simply need to bounce an idea off someone, or do you need to work on changing your behavior? Once you know what kind of help you’ll find useful, seek out that help. If you need help with a resume, ask your friend who works in HR to look it over with you. If you want to get better at math, find a tutor.
If you think you might need help with your mental health, there are many places where you can find help. Try either the Canadian Mental Health Association website or the Mental Health America website. Review what options are available in your area.Counselors and psychologists are educated, trained, and licensed to help with mental health and treat dysfunctional behavior.
If you need to seek medical or mental health help, start with your family doctor.
If you aren’t finding the help you need with a specific individual, go to someone else. Don’t feel you have to keep talking to someone who isn’t helping you.
2-6. Act with integrity.
To act with integrity means you behave in a way that is in line with your personal values. If you're not sure what your values are, take some time to define them. When you have to make a decision about something, ask yourself if it is consistent with your values. You may face criticism, doubt, or disapproval for others for your decision, but if it what you believe is right, you are acting with integrity.
When you are living with integrity, your outer life (your decisions, actions, etc.) will represent your inner life (your beliefs, values, and principles).
Having integrity does not mean you are rigid and inflexible, either. You may learn new information or have a new experience that changes some of your beliefs and values. That's okay — that's growth. Your values and beliefs may change over time; what's important is that you continue to act in a way that is consistent with these beliefs.
3. Paying Attention to Your Physical Health
3-1. Nurture your body.
Keep yourself healthy by eating properly as often as possible. Seek medical help and take the day off when you’re sick. Don’t push your body beyond its limits all the time. Take a break when you need one.
But, if you end up eating nothing but junk food one day, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes ice cream for dinner is necessary!
We’re human, not super heroes. Showing up for work when you feel like you’re on your deathbed isn’t going to help anyone, including you. You cannot possibly be productive when you’re sick, so stay home, get better, and go back to work when you feel up to it.
3-2. Get enough rest and relaxation.
Sleep is absolutely vital to a healthy life. Sleep allows us to pay attention throughout the day, and increases the amount of things we can remember. A lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems, including depression and anxiety.
Adults, in general, need between seven to nine hours of sleep every night. But everyone is different, and your ideal amount of sleep may differ from other adults.
Getting a good night’s sleep also includes having a regular bedtime and wake-up time, and having a nightly routine that helps you relax right before bed.
Put your electronic devices away about an hour before you go to bed and don’t look at them again until the morning. The screens on our electronic devices actually prevent our brains from being able to relax. Instead, read a book, write in a journal, or cuddle with your cat.
3-3. Exercise regularly.
In an ideal situation, as an adult, you should try to get 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical (aerobic) activity every week.
Activity should be completed in intervals of at least 10 minutes. If, for some reason, you aren’t able to do this weekly, don’t beat yourself up over it. The point of these goals isn’t to make you feel guilty when you don’t meet them. The point of these goals is to help guide you in the right direction.
If you’re coming from a sedentary lifestyle, going from no activity to 150 minutes of vigorous activity may be too difficult. Instead, work yourself up to the 150 minutes over time.
If you’re already an active person, there’s no reason to limit yourself to 150 minutes of activity every week. If you’re able to do more than 150 minutes, no one is going to complain!
3-4. Be comfortable.
This can include being comfortable in our own skin, but it’s also as simple as being comfortable in your clothes. If you hate wearing high-heels, then don’t wear high-heels. If you want to lounge around all day in sweatpants, then do so. Don’t worry about what other people will think, or what the current fashion trends are. As long as you’re comfortable, that’s what’s important.
3-5. Spend your physical energy on activities you enjoy.
Your physical energy is the energy that physically gets you through the day, not just the energy you use when exercising. You only have so much physical energy every day, so use it wisely. Take note of all the physical activities that occupy your day and assess how important they really are to you. Drop activities that are unimportant and do not bring your any joy. Keep or increase activities that are important and make you happy.
3-6. Listen to your gut.
If you gut is telling you something, listen. Your gut, or intuition, are often more right than wrong. Your gut can also help you understand where you need a draw a line — when you’re no longer comfortable with something you’re doing. There are a couple of gut-instincts that you should always try to listen to, as they’re probably telling you something important. They include:
Thinking something isn’t right physically — That you may be sick, or something is wrong with how your feel, or something is different than it usually is. In all of these situations, listen to your gut. All you may need to do is make an appointment to see your family doctor and double-check that everything is okay. And if it’s not okay, you can get help ASAP.
Thinking you’re in danger — Your instincts are designed to keep you out of danger. If you feel like you’re in danger, listen to yourself. Get yourself out of whatever situation makes you feel like you’re in danger.
Thinking you’ve found something perfect for you — Your gut will likely be able to tell you when you’ve found the perfect shoes, or the perfect dress, or the perfect house. You could spend time evaluating all the pros and cons about your options, but if you’re gut is leaning one way, it’s okay to listen.
4. Reconnecting with Yourself
4-1. Make time for yourself.
This is more important when you’re busy because you may not take a moment to do something for yourself, or something you actually want to do. Take some time and just do whatever it is want to do, whether that’s watching a movie, having a nap, going for a walk, reading a book, playing with your pets, or a million other things — just do it.
Don’t think about the fact that you have other things on your to do list.
Don’t consider your time spent doing the things you want as a "waste of time."
Schedule time to yourself in your calendar if you have to, but consider it one of your priorities.
4-2. Help drive your own destiny.
Whether you believe your life is already planned out for you, or things simply happen as you go, you can still play a major part in your own life. This means you must take personal responsibility for your decisions. You cannot begin to change your life until you become accountable for your actions. If you tell yourself you do not possess the power to change your situation ("This is just how it is."), then you will simply be pulled along by the current of life.
Identify the areas in which you have control over your life. You cannot control your genes, the family you were born into, natural disasters, or even other people. What you can control is how you react to these things. For instance, you cannot help that your genes predisposed you to depression, but you can choose to seek treatment.
Learn to set goals. Setting short-, medium-, and long-term goals can help you take your life in a new direction. Acknowledge that it may take a long time and many small changes to achieve what you want.
Remember that change can take time and is often uncomfortable. Practice saying to yourself: "This is uncomfortable, but it is not intolerable."
4-3. Review your finances regularly.
The purpose of taking a look at your finances isn’t to add stress to your life, but to make sure you’re spending money on the things that are important to you. Also use this opportunity to assess whether you’re spending money on material items thinking those items will fill a void. Finally, use this financial planning to create a savings plan for an activity, event, or trip that you’ve always dreamed about doing.
If a review of your finances indicates you may have a problem, take this opportunity to seek help. Speak to a financial advisor at your bank, or a credit counsellor at a non-profit organization.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Care of Yourself Every Day\\n1-1. Take a 10-minute time out.\\nIf something is overwhelming you, or you feel like you’re being pulled in ten directions at once, take a time out. Stop doing whatever is stressing you out and do something enjoyable. Take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, read a chapter in a book, or whatever else makes you happy.\\nTaking a break will help you return to the task at hand with a clearer mind and feeling refreshed.\\nTry scheduling yourself a short break every two hours or so to make sure you take a moment to breathe, regroup, and reboot.\\n1-2. Learn to say no\\nThere is no human requirement that says we must always say yes when others ask us to do something, even if we love and care about the person. And you’re not being selfish telling someone no.\\n If you have too many things on your plate any one day, don’t allow yourself to add more.\\nFocus on your priorities — Review all the things you have on your plate and evaluate if any new things you’ve been asked to do fit with your top priorities or are more important. If the things you’ve been asked to do are a low priority in your life right now, it’s probably a good idea to say no. If your friend asks if you can help him with his resume today, but you're taking your dad to the hospital for some tests, you can say, \\\"You know, I really can't today.\\\"\\nBe realistic — Think realistically about what you can accomplish in a given day. Not only that, but what can you accomplish effectively? Maybe you can tackle 20 tasks in a day, but will you be able to do them well? Maybe adding one or two more things into the mix will hurt the quality of all your tasks for that day, because you're scrambling to do everything. Don't forget, at some point you need to eat and sleep to take care of yourself.\\nEliminate guilt — Don’t agree to do something simply because saying no will make you feel guilty. It’s entirely possible that the person asking this of you is hoping you’ll feel guilty and say yes. If you are feeling guilty, think about all the times you have agreed to help people in the past. Remember that you can't please everyone all of the time; you can't say \\\"yes\\\" to everything, as much as you might want to. If someone gets mad at you for saying you can't do something, you may need to examine whether or not that person really cares about your wellbeing.\\nTake your time — Don’t say yes or no immediately. Tell the person asking you to do something that you need time to think about it. Then actually take that time. Sleep on it, think about it, and then make a final decision when you aren’t rushed.\\n1-3. Treat yourself.\\nYou're special, so treat yourself once in a while for being special. Treat yourself to something that makes you smile. This might be treating yourself to a manicure or pedicure, buying yourself a pair of earrings you’ve had your eye on, getting that power tool that you really want, or going for a drive by yourself. Make an effort to treat yourself to something that is good for you and will help you feel refreshed and taken care of.\\nTreating yourself doesn’t have to include buying yourself something. For example, instead of going to a spa for a pedicure, give yourself one.\\n1-4. Be patient with yourself\\nSome days everything seems to go right, and other days everything seems to go wrong. Don’t punish yourself on those bad days. It’s okay if you’re not getting as much done as you had planned, or aren’t as fast at your work as you normally are. Just do your best. Remember that you aren't born with patience, and it's a skill you can work on.\\nIf you’re feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to do, ask for help. Reach out to a friend, family member, or other confidant and ask for advice.\\nGive yourself a break. Go have a nap or a shower. Allow yourself to be refreshed and then restart what you were doing.\\n1-5. Accept the fact that life is uncertain\\nYou can’t predict everything that is going to happen in your life, so don’t try. Sure, you can plan for some potential outcomes, but you don’t have to spend hours planning for every possible outcome to every decision you make. Accept the fact that you’re going to have uncertainty in your life, and that’s okay.\\nConsider uncertainty as an adventure. You don’t always know what’s around the bend, so let it be a surprise.\\nTry to think of uncertainty as something exciting and a chance to be spontaneous, not something to fear. After a breakup you may feel certain that you will never meet someone else — but of course that is not a certainty, and you may end up meeting someone amazing. You don't know who you'll meet, and that can be an adventure.\\nTry not to think about how things should be and start considering other possibilities and outcomes. Try practicing mindfulness, which can help you learn to be in the present moment and not worry so much about what might happen in the future.\\n2. Giving Yourself a Mental Break\\n2-1. Take care of yourself first.\\nIf you think this may seem selfish, it isn't. A selfish person has little or no regard for others, and choosing yourself does mean you have no consideration for the wellbeing of others. You need to take care of yourself before you can really take care of anyone else.\\n Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act — it's being good to yourself.\\nA big part of learning to be good to yourself is learning to be self-compassionate. Beating yourself up over perceived shortcomings or mistakes isn't productive — it only leads to insecurity and self-loathing, and you may take these negative feelings out on other people. By showing compassion to yourself — being as kind and understating to yourself as you would your best friend and acknowledging our common humanity, or that everyone makes mistakes, just as everyone has triumphs — you can help yourself and be more compassionate toward others, too.\\nTry scheduling time to take care of yourself every day. To meditate, go for a run, paint — whatever makes you feel good.\\n2-2. Be happy as a single person\\nIf you are are single, you, as an individual, have to choose a life that you love and are happy with, regardless of other people. You can’t plan your life on the assumption that it may one day include a significant other. If you're waiting to take that trip to Africa until you meet \\\"the one,\\\" you may be missing out on an experience of a lifetime while you wait around for this person to show up. When you learn what makes you happy, and you go out and do it, your life will feel more fulfilling, regardless of whether or not you have a partner. Then, if someone great comes along, it’s a benefit.\\nCreate personal goals that have nothing to do with a relationship or significant other. Ask yourself what you want for your life. For example, maybe your goal is to buy a new car in two years or move to another province in five years. Make plans regardless of what the future may hold. If your plans need to change at some point, that’s fine, but don’t avoid living your life “just in case” you find yourself in a relationship later.\\n2-3. Appreciate yourself as a whole.\\nWe all have things we don’t like about ourselves, but we also all have things we really like about ourselves. Learn to appreciate both sets of things — the good and the bad. This is where practicing self-compassion can make a huge difference. Remember that we are all complex, fragile, and imperfect beings. Having a short temper or being bad at math doesn't make you any less worthy of love and compassion.\\nAt the same time, remember that change is possible. If there's something you don't like about yourself — maybe that short temper makes it really difficult for you to communicate, or you often say things you don't mean — there's nothing that says you can't change. Just remember that you are a person in progress and be prepare to put in some hard work.\\n2-4. Avoid dwelling on past mistakes\\nWe’re human, which means we make mistakes. But our mistakes should be used as an opportunity to learn and grow, not ruminate and rehash. Constantly thinking about your past mistakes and dwelling on the guilt you feel about them is not going to help you today or in the future. Instead, realize you’ve made a mistake, understand how to avoid making the mistake again, and move on.\\nUnfortunately, dwelling on the past can cause your present and your future to come to a stand still. Constantly thinking about what should have happened, what could have happened, or what would have happened had you done something different isn’t going to help you move forward.\\nWhile it is valuable to assess your mistakes in order to ensure they do not happen again, this doesn’t have to be done endlessly. Give yourself a time limit, then stop thinking about your mistake. For example, if you made a bad decision about something, take a day to think about how you could have made a better decision and then move on.\\nTry not to evaluate yourself when you make a mistake — or even when you are successful. You are worthy of compassion and understanding whether or not you sank that final shot at the buzzer, you passed the test, got the promotion, etc. Achieving these things doesn't somehow make you more worthy of self-love, just as not achieving them doesn't mean you are any less worthy.\\n2-5. Seek help when you need it.\\nNot every problem you encounter is going to be solvable by you and you alone. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Depending on the issue, that help can come from a minister, therapist, coach, teacher, doctor, or other trusted individual. \\nThink about the specific item you need help with and think about what kind of help would be useful. Do you simply need to bounce an idea off someone, or do you need to work on changing your behavior? Once you know what kind of help you’ll find useful, seek out that help. If you need help with a resume, ask your friend who works in HR to look it over with you. If you want to get better at math, find a tutor.\\nIf you think you might need help with your mental health, there are many places where you can find help. Try either the Canadian Mental Health Association website or the Mental Health America website. Review what options are available in your area.Counselors and psychologists are educated, trained, and licensed to help with mental health and treat dysfunctional behavior.\\nIf you need to seek medical or mental health help, start with your family doctor.\\nIf you aren’t finding the help you need with a specific individual, go to someone else. Don’t feel you have to keep talking to someone who isn’t helping you.\\n2-6. Act with integrity.\\nTo act with integrity means you behave in a way that is in line with your personal values. If you're not sure what your values are, take some time to define them. When you have to make a decision about something, ask yourself if it is consistent with your values. You may face criticism, doubt, or disapproval for others for your decision, but if it what you believe is right, you are acting with integrity.\\nWhen you are living with integrity, your outer life (your decisions, actions, etc.) will represent your inner life (your beliefs, values, and principles).\\nHaving integrity does not mean you are rigid and inflexible, either. You may learn new information or have a new experience that changes some of your beliefs and values. That's okay — that's growth. Your values and beliefs may change over time; what's important is that you continue to act in a way that is consistent with these beliefs.\\n3. Paying Attention to Your Physical Health\\n3-1. Nurture your body.\\nKeep yourself healthy by eating properly as often as possible. Seek medical help and take the day off when you’re sick. Don’t push your body beyond its limits all the time. Take a break when you need one.\\nBut, if you end up eating nothing but junk food one day, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes ice cream for dinner is necessary!\\nWe’re human, not super heroes. Showing up for work when you feel like you’re on your deathbed isn’t going to help anyone, including you. You cannot possibly be productive when you’re sick, so stay home, get better, and go back to work when you feel up to it.\\n3-2. Get enough rest and relaxation.\\nSleep is absolutely vital to a healthy life. Sleep allows us to pay attention throughout the day, and increases the amount of things we can remember. A lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems, including depression and anxiety.\\nAdults, in general, need between seven to nine hours of sleep every night. But everyone is different, and your ideal amount of sleep may differ from other adults.\\nGetting a good night’s sleep also includes having a regular bedtime and wake-up time, and having a nightly routine that helps you relax right before bed.\\nPut your electronic devices away about an hour before you go to bed and don’t look at them again until the morning. The screens on our electronic devices actually prevent our brains from being able to relax. Instead, read a book, write in a journal, or cuddle with your cat.\\n3-3. Exercise regularly.\\nIn an ideal situation, as an adult, you should try to get 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical (aerobic) activity every week.\\n Activity should be completed in intervals of at least 10 minutes. If, for some reason, you aren’t able to do this weekly, don’t beat yourself up over it. The point of these goals isn’t to make you feel guilty when you don’t meet them. The point of these goals is to help guide you in the right direction.\\nIf you’re coming from a sedentary lifestyle, going from no activity to 150 minutes of vigorous activity may be too difficult. Instead, work yourself up to the 150 minutes over time.\\nIf you’re already an active person, there’s no reason to limit yourself to 150 minutes of activity every week. If you’re able to do more than 150 minutes, no one is going to complain!\\n3-4. Be comfortable.\\nThis can include being comfortable in our own skin, but it’s also as simple as being comfortable in your clothes. If you hate wearing high-heels, then don’t wear high-heels. If you want to lounge around all day in sweatpants, then do so. Don’t worry about what other people will think, or what the current fashion trends are. As long as you’re comfortable, that’s what’s important.\\n3-5. Spend your physical energy on activities you enjoy.\\nYour physical energy is the energy that physically gets you through the day, not just the energy you use when exercising. You only have so much physical energy every day, so use it wisely. Take note of all the physical activities that occupy your day and assess how important they really are to you. Drop activities that are unimportant and do not bring your any joy. Keep or increase activities that are important and make you happy.\\n3-6. Listen to your gut.\\nIf you gut is telling you something, listen. Your gut, or intuition, are often more right than wrong. Your gut can also help you understand where you need a draw a line — when you’re no longer comfortable with something you’re doing. There are a couple of gut-instincts that you should always try to listen to, as they’re probably telling you something important. They include:\\nThinking something isn’t right physically — That you may be sick, or something is wrong with how your feel, or something is different than it usually is. In all of these situations, listen to your gut. All you may need to do is make an appointment to see your family doctor and double-check that everything is okay. And if it’s not okay, you can get help ASAP.\\nThinking you’re in danger — Your instincts are designed to keep you out of danger. If you feel like you’re in danger, listen to yourself. Get yourself out of whatever situation makes you feel like you’re in danger.\\nThinking you’ve found something perfect for you — Your gut will likely be able to tell you when you’ve found the perfect shoes, or the perfect dress, or the perfect house. You could spend time evaluating all the pros and cons about your options, but if you’re gut is leaning one way, it’s okay to listen.\\n4. Reconnecting with Yourself\\n4-1. Make time for yourself.\\nThis is more important when you’re busy because you may not take a moment to do something for yourself, or something you actually want to do. Take some time and just do whatever it is want to do, whether that’s watching a movie, having a nap, going for a walk, reading a book, playing with your pets, or a million other things — just do it.\\nDon’t think about the fact that you have other things on your to do list.\\nDon’t consider your time spent doing the things you want as a \\\"waste of time.\\\"\\nSchedule time to yourself in your calendar if you have to, but consider it one of your priorities.\\n4-2. Help drive your own destiny.\\nWhether you believe your life is already planned out for you, or things simply happen as you go, you can still play a major part in your own life. This means you must take personal responsibility for your decisions. You cannot begin to change your life until you become accountable for your actions. If you tell yourself you do not possess the power to change your situation (\\\"This is just how it is.\\\"), then you will simply be pulled along by the current of life.\\nIdentify the areas in which you have control over your life. You cannot control your genes, the family you were born into, natural disasters, or even other people. What you can control is how you react to these things. For instance, you cannot help that your genes predisposed you to depression, but you can choose to seek treatment.\\nLearn to set goals. Setting short-, medium-, and long-term goals can help you take your life in a new direction. Acknowledge that it may take a long time and many small changes to achieve what you want.\\nRemember that change can take time and is often uncomfortable. Practice saying to yourself: \\\"This is uncomfortable, but it is not intolerable.\\\"\\n4-3. Review your finances regularly.\\nThe purpose of taking a look at your finances isn’t to add stress to your life, but to make sure you’re spending money on the things that are important to you. Also use this opportunity to assess whether you’re spending money on material items thinking those items will fill a void. Finally, use this financial planning to create a savings plan for an activity, event, or trip that you’ve always dreamed about doing.\\nIf a review of your finances indicates you may have a problem, take this opportunity to seek help. Speak to a financial advisor at your bank, or a credit counsellor at a non-profit organization.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We, as humans, often find ourselves making the effort to take care of others, like our children, spouse, friends, parents, grandparents, and so on. Yet we rarely take the time to be good to ourselves. Taking care of ourselves is essential to living a long, happy, and healthy life. There are many things, big and small, that we can do for ourselves on a regular basis to relax, recharge, reflect, and reevaluate.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Yourself Every Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a 10-minute time out.\", \"描述\": \"If something is overwhelming you, or you feel like you’re being pulled in ten directions at once, take a time out. Stop doing whatever is stressing you out and do something enjoyable. Take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, read a chapter in a book, or whatever else makes you happy.\\nTaking a break will help you return to the task at hand with a clearer mind and feeling refreshed.\\nTry scheduling yourself a short break every two hours or so to make sure you take a moment to breathe, regroup, and reboot.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to say no\", \"描述\": \"There is no human requirement that says we must always say yes when others ask us to do something, even if we love and care about the person. And you’re not being selfish telling someone no.\\n If you have too many things on your plate any one day, don’t allow yourself to add more.\\nFocus on your priorities — Review all the things you have on your plate and evaluate if any new things you’ve been asked to do fit with your top priorities or are more important. If the things you’ve been asked to do are a low priority in your life right now, it’s probably a good idea to say no. If your friend asks if you can help him with his resume today, but you're taking your dad to the hospital for some tests, you can say, \\\"You know, I really can't today.\\\"\\nBe realistic — Think realistically about what you can accomplish in a given day. Not only that, but what can you accomplish effectively? Maybe you can tackle 20 tasks in a day, but will you be able to do them well? Maybe adding one or two more things into the mix will hurt the quality of all your tasks for that day, because you're scrambling to do everything. Don't forget, at some point you need to eat and sleep to take care of yourself.\\nEliminate guilt — Don’t agree to do something simply because saying no will make you feel guilty. It’s entirely possible that the person asking this of you is hoping you’ll feel guilty and say yes. If you are feeling guilty, think about all the times you have agreed to help people in the past. Remember that you can't please everyone all of the time; you can't say \\\"yes\\\" to everything, as much as you might want to. If someone gets mad at you for saying you can't do something, you may need to examine whether or not that person really cares about your wellbeing.\\nTake your time — Don’t say yes or no immediately. Tell the person asking you to do something that you need time to think about it. Then actually take that time. Sleep on it, think about it, and then make a final decision when you aren’t rushed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You're special, so treat yourself once in a while for being special. Treat yourself to something that makes you smile. This might be treating yourself to a manicure or pedicure, buying yourself a pair of earrings you’ve had your eye on, getting that power tool that you really want, or going for a drive by yourself. Make an effort to treat yourself to something that is good for you and will help you feel refreshed and taken care of.\\nTreating yourself doesn’t have to include buying yourself something. For example, instead of going to a spa for a pedicure, give yourself one.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be patient with yourself\", \"描述\": \"Some days everything seems to go right, and other days everything seems to go wrong. Don’t punish yourself on those bad days. It’s okay if you’re not getting as much done as you had planned, or aren’t as fast at your work as you normally are. Just do your best. Remember that you aren't born with patience, and it's a skill you can work on.\\nIf you’re feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to do, ask for help. Reach out to a friend, family member, or other confidant and ask for advice.\\nGive yourself a break. Go have a nap or a shower. Allow yourself to be refreshed and then restart what you were doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept the fact that life is uncertain\", \"描述\": \"You can’t predict everything that is going to happen in your life, so don’t try. Sure, you can plan for some potential outcomes, but you don’t have to spend hours planning for every possible outcome to every decision you make. Accept the fact that you’re going to have uncertainty in your life, and that’s okay.\\nConsider uncertainty as an adventure. You don’t always know what’s around the bend, so let it be a surprise.\\nTry to think of uncertainty as something exciting and a chance to be spontaneous, not something to fear. After a breakup you may feel certain that you will never meet someone else — but of course that is not a certainty, and you may end up meeting someone amazing. You don't know who you'll meet, and that can be an adventure.\\nTry not to think about how things should be and start considering other possibilities and outcomes. Try practicing mindfulness, which can help you learn to be in the present moment and not worry so much about what might happen in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Giving Yourself a Mental Break\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take care of yourself first.\", \"描述\": \"If you think this may seem selfish, it isn't. A selfish person has little or no regard for others, and choosing yourself does mean you have no consideration for the wellbeing of others. You need to take care of yourself before you can really take care of anyone else.\\n Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act — it's being good to yourself.\\nA big part of learning to be good to yourself is learning to be self-compassionate. Beating yourself up over perceived shortcomings or mistakes isn't productive — it only leads to insecurity and self-loathing, and you may take these negative feelings out on other people. By showing compassion to yourself — being as kind and understating to yourself as you would your best friend and acknowledging our common humanity, or that everyone makes mistakes, just as everyone has triumphs — you can help yourself and be more compassionate toward others, too.\\nTry scheduling time to take care of yourself every day. To meditate, go for a run, paint — whatever makes you feel good.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be happy as a single person\", \"描述\": \"If you are are single, you, as an individual, have to choose a life that you love and are happy with, regardless of other people. You can’t plan your life on the assumption that it may one day include a significant other. If you're waiting to take that trip to Africa until you meet \\\"the one,\\\" you may be missing out on an experience of a lifetime while you wait around for this person to show up. When you learn what makes you happy, and you go out and do it, your life will feel more fulfilling, regardless of whether or not you have a partner. Then, if someone great comes along, it’s a benefit.\\nCreate personal goals that have nothing to do with a relationship or significant other. Ask yourself what you want for your life. For example, maybe your goal is to buy a new car in two years or move to another province in five years. Make plans regardless of what the future may hold. If your plans need to change at some point, that’s fine, but don’t avoid living your life “just in case” you find yourself in a relationship later.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Appreciate yourself as a whole.\", \"描述\": \"We all have things we don’t like about ourselves, but we also all have things we really like about ourselves. Learn to appreciate both sets of things — the good and the bad. This is where practicing self-compassion can make a huge difference. Remember that we are all complex, fragile, and imperfect beings. Having a short temper or being bad at math doesn't make you any less worthy of love and compassion.\\nAt the same time, remember that change is possible. If there's something you don't like about yourself — maybe that short temper makes it really difficult for you to communicate, or you often say things you don't mean — there's nothing that says you can't change. Just remember that you are a person in progress and be prepare to put in some hard work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid dwelling on past mistakes\", \"描述\": \"We’re human, which means we make mistakes. But our mistakes should be used as an opportunity to learn and grow, not ruminate and rehash. Constantly thinking about your past mistakes and dwelling on the guilt you feel about them is not going to help you today or in the future. Instead, realize you’ve made a mistake, understand how to avoid making the mistake again, and move on.\\nUnfortunately, dwelling on the past can cause your present and your future to come to a stand still. Constantly thinking about what should have happened, what could have happened, or what would have happened had you done something different isn’t going to help you move forward.\\nWhile it is valuable to assess your mistakes in order to ensure they do not happen again, this doesn’t have to be done endlessly. Give yourself a time limit, then stop thinking about your mistake. For example, if you made a bad decision about something, take a day to think about how you could have made a better decision and then move on.\\nTry not to evaluate yourself when you make a mistake — or even when you are successful. You are worthy of compassion and understanding whether or not you sank that final shot at the buzzer, you passed the test, got the promotion, etc. Achieving these things doesn't somehow make you more worthy of self-love, just as not achieving them doesn't mean you are any less worthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Seek help when you need it.\", \"描述\": \"Not every problem you encounter is going to be solvable by you and you alone. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Depending on the issue, that help can come from a minister, therapist, coach, teacher, doctor, or other trusted individual. \\nThink about the specific item you need help with and think about what kind of help would be useful. Do you simply need to bounce an idea off someone, or do you need to work on changing your behavior? Once you know what kind of help you’ll find useful, seek out that help. If you need help with a resume, ask your friend who works in HR to look it over with you. If you want to get better at math, find a tutor.\\nIf you think you might need help with your mental health, there are many places where you can find help. Try either the Canadian Mental Health Association website or the Mental Health America website. Review what options are available in your area.Counselors and psychologists are educated, trained, and licensed to help with mental health and treat dysfunctional behavior.\\nIf you need to seek medical or mental health help, start with your family doctor.\\nIf you aren’t finding the help you need with a specific individual, go to someone else. Don’t feel you have to keep talking to someone who isn’t helping you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Act with integrity.\", \"描述\": \"To act with integrity means you behave in a way that is in line with your personal values. If you're not sure what your values are, take some time to define them. When you have to make a decision about something, ask yourself if it is consistent with your values. You may face criticism, doubt, or disapproval for others for your decision, but if it what you believe is right, you are acting with integrity.\\nWhen you are living with integrity, your outer life (your decisions, actions, etc.) will represent your inner life (your beliefs, values, and principles).\\nHaving integrity does not mean you are rigid and inflexible, either. You may learn new information or have a new experience that changes some of your beliefs and values. That's okay — that's growth. Your values and beliefs may change over time; what's important is that you continue to act in a way that is consistent with these beliefs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Paying Attention to Your Physical Health\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Nurture your body.\", \"描述\": \"Keep yourself healthy by eating properly as often as possible. Seek medical help and take the day off when you’re sick. Don’t push your body beyond its limits all the time. Take a break when you need one.\\nBut, if you end up eating nothing but junk food one day, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes ice cream for dinner is necessary!\\nWe’re human, not super heroes. Showing up for work when you feel like you’re on your deathbed isn’t going to help anyone, including you. You cannot possibly be productive when you’re sick, so stay home, get better, and go back to work when you feel up to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get enough rest and relaxation.\", \"描述\": \"Sleep is absolutely vital to a healthy life. Sleep allows us to pay attention throughout the day, and increases the amount of things we can remember. A lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems, including depression and anxiety.\\nAdults, in general, need between seven to nine hours of sleep every night. But everyone is different, and your ideal amount of sleep may differ from other adults.\\nGetting a good night’s sleep also includes having a regular bedtime and wake-up time, and having a nightly routine that helps you relax right before bed.\\nPut your electronic devices away about an hour before you go to bed and don’t look at them again until the morning. The screens on our electronic devices actually prevent our brains from being able to relax. Instead, read a book, write in a journal, or cuddle with your cat.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly.\", \"描述\": \"In an ideal situation, as an adult, you should try to get 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical (aerobic) activity every week.\\n Activity should be completed in intervals of at least 10 minutes. If, for some reason, you aren’t able to do this weekly, don’t beat yourself up over it. The point of these goals isn’t to make you feel guilty when you don’t meet them. The point of these goals is to help guide you in the right direction.\\nIf you’re coming from a sedentary lifestyle, going from no activity to 150 minutes of vigorous activity may be too difficult. Instead, work yourself up to the 150 minutes over time.\\nIf you’re already an active person, there’s no reason to limit yourself to 150 minutes of activity every week. If you’re able to do more than 150 minutes, no one is going to complain!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"This can include being comfortable in our own skin, but it’s also as simple as being comfortable in your clothes. If you hate wearing high-heels, then don’t wear high-heels. If you want to lounge around all day in sweatpants, then do so. Don’t worry about what other people will think, or what the current fashion trends are. As long as you’re comfortable, that’s what’s important.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spend your physical energy on activities you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"Your physical energy is the energy that physically gets you through the day, not just the energy you use when exercising. You only have so much physical energy every day, so use it wisely. Take note of all the physical activities that occupy your day and assess how important they really are to you. Drop activities that are unimportant and do not bring your any joy. Keep or increase activities that are important and make you happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to your gut.\", \"描述\": \"If you gut is telling you something, listen. Your gut, or intuition, are often more right than wrong. Your gut can also help you understand where you need a draw a line — when you’re no longer comfortable with something you’re doing. There are a couple of gut-instincts that you should always try to listen to, as they’re probably telling you something important. They include:\\nThinking something isn’t right physically — That you may be sick, or something is wrong with how your feel, or something is different than it usually is. In all of these situations, listen to your gut. All you may need to do is make an appointment to see your family doctor and double-check that everything is okay. And if it’s not okay, you can get help ASAP.\\nThinking you’re in danger — Your instincts are designed to keep you out of danger. If you feel like you’re in danger, listen to yourself. Get yourself out of whatever situation makes you feel like you’re in danger.\\nThinking you’ve found something perfect for you — Your gut will likely be able to tell you when you’ve found the perfect shoes, or the perfect dress, or the perfect house. You could spend time evaluating all the pros and cons about your options, but if you’re gut is leaning one way, it’s okay to listen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reconnecting with Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make time for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This is more important when you’re busy because you may not take a moment to do something for yourself, or something you actually want to do. Take some time and just do whatever it is want to do, whether that’s watching a movie, having a nap, going for a walk, reading a book, playing with your pets, or a million other things — just do it.\\nDon’t think about the fact that you have other things on your to do list.\\nDon’t consider your time spent doing the things you want as a \\\"waste of time.\\\"\\nSchedule time to yourself in your calendar if you have to, but consider it one of your priorities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help drive your own destiny.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you believe your life is already planned out for you, or things simply happen as you go, you can still play a major part in your own life. This means you must take personal responsibility for your decisions. You cannot begin to change your life until you become accountable for your actions. If you tell yourself you do not possess the power to change your situation (\\\"This is just how it is.\\\"), then you will simply be pulled along by the current of life.\\nIdentify the areas in which you have control over your life. You cannot control your genes, the family you were born into, natural disasters, or even other people. What you can control is how you react to these things. For instance, you cannot help that your genes predisposed you to depression, but you can choose to seek treatment.\\nLearn to set goals. Setting short-, medium-, and long-term goals can help you take your life in a new direction. Acknowledge that it may take a long time and many small changes to achieve what you want.\\nRemember that change can take time and is often uncomfortable. Practice saying to yourself: \\\"This is uncomfortable, but it is not intolerable.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Review your finances regularly.\", \"描述\": \"The purpose of taking a look at your finances isn’t to add stress to your life, but to make sure you’re spending money on the things that are important to you. Also use this opportunity to assess whether you’re spending money on material items thinking those items will fill a void. Finally, use this financial planning to create a savings plan for an activity, event, or trip that you’ve always dreamed about doing.\\nIf a review of your finances indicates you may have a problem, take this opportunity to seek help. Speak to a financial advisor at your bank, or a credit counsellor at a non-profit organization.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,781 | How to Be Goth | 1. Listening to Goth Music
1-1. Learn the history of the goth subculture.
Knowing your background and history of the subculture you are developing yourself into is a very vital part of being goth. This helps you get past the baby bat stage (a "baby bat" is someone who is new to the subculture) and into maturing into the culture, music and fashion. Some important facts about goth are:
In the year 1967, the American band The Doors were described as "gothic rock" and in 1974 Bowie's Diamond Dogs was called "gothic". However, it doesn't make the artist or band goth.
Some people cite Nico as the first to record a gothic album; either The Marble Index or The End.
The song credited to have birthed the goth rock genre is the 1979 single Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. Peter Murphy, lead singer of the band, said that the song was supposed to be written tongue-in-cheek and that their mistake was performing it naive seriousness, which changed the way the audience understood it. This song was also played at the beginning of The Hunger, a film popular among goths.
Goth rock or gothic rock is a sub-genre of punk rock which was born out of the British post punk scene in the late 70s / early 80s.
A nightclub in London named "The Batcave" was opened in 1982 by members of Specimen that catered towards this new flourishing scene. Although the club never named themselves as a "goth club", the club helped bring all the forming elements of goth together.
The subculture took inspiration from Gothic architecture such as castles and cathedrals; the Romantic movement originating from the late 1700 and 1800 century and Gothic literature such as The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole where the use of the word "Gothic" was first used in literature, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Dracula by Bram Stoker and the works of Edgar Allan Poe.
Goth subculture draws inspirations from ancient Celtic, Pagan, Egyptian and Christian mythology and religions and goth fashion combines high chic, antique, retro-kitsch, punk, fetish and secondhand trash elements
1-2. Learn what goth music is.
Members of the subculture consider listening to and appreciating goth rock, post punk, deathrock and darkwave music to be an important part of being goth. Many goths listen to many other different genres, too, but there are certain ones which are considered goth whereas others are considered goth-friendly. It doesn't mean you can't listen to them, it just means that you won't make you "goth" if you only listen to those goth-friendly genres.
Musical goth characteristics include an echoing tribal beat, 4 / 4 post punk beat or drum machine, funeral synthesizers, flanging guitars that produced cold and brittle effects, distorted guitars, a prominent lead bassline and deep eerie baritone vocals, usually in men.
1-3. Understand the characters and different offshoots of goth music.
Goth is not only limited to goth rock, but includes some post-punk, deathrock, darkwave, ethereal wave, grey rock and afterpunk. Grey rock is the Portuguese term for post-punk / goth rock and afterpunk is the Spanish term.
Deathrock, which is the American counterpart that formed around the same time as goth did in the UK. Developed in Southern California, deathrock is a spooky and atmospheric offshoot of punk rock which consists of glam rock imagery, punk-inflected sound and attitude, shock rock theatrics and b-movie inspiration. Notable bands are Christian Death, 45 Grave and Kommunity FK.
Darkwave, an offshoot of goth rock that formed in the 80s. It combines elements of synthpop and new wave, incorporating dark, introspective lyrics and an undertone of sorrow. However the term, originally starting out as a post punk style, eventually became its own thing as bands started to make greater use of synthesizers and drum machines. Notable bands include Clan of Xymox, Dead Can Dance and Black Tape For a Blue Girl. Fans of darkwave are called "darkwavers".
Coldwave, a subgenre of darkwave first coined by British writer Vivien Goldman in an article that review the Siouxsie and the Banshee's album The Scream. The sound mainly became popular in France and Belgium in the 90s but has since spread to other continents. Notable bands include Charles De Goal, Memorial Voice and Ruth.
Ethereal wave, a subgenre of darkwave which has been described as "gothic", "otherworldly" and "romantic". It was developed in the early 80s, and is mainly represented by bands from the British independent record label, 4AD. Notable bands include Cocteau Twins,This Mortal Coil and Dead Can Dance.
1-4. Find goth bands you like and listen to the lyrics.
Goth music places a great emphasis on the lyric and matching the lyric with creating a mood. Many early vocalists aimed for a Leonard Cohen-like dirge to focus on the words in the song. Start with the most popular Goth songs like A Forest by The Cure, Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus and Cities In Dust by Siouxsie and the Banshees.
Learn the words to your favorite goth songs by copying out lyrics in a notebook. Knowing the words to your favorite songs can be a quick way to make friends with other goths, if you're into the same things.
If you need some help, some notable goth albums include:
Joy Division - Closer (1980)
The Cure - Pornography (1982)
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Juju (1981)
Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead (1979)
The Birthday Party - Release The Bats (1981)
The Sisters of Mercy - Floodland (1987)
Black Tape for a Blue Girl – Remnants of a Deeper Purity (1996)
Christian Death - Only Theatre of Pain (1982)
1-5. Develop your music taste.
Learning and listening to the most popular goth bands are good, and they will definitely earn you goth points on your goth card (see "goth slang") but finding underground or local goth bands is something you should definitely do, too. Most people stop at the most popular goth bands, but the most recent and underground ones deserve some recognition, in order to keep the goth scene alive.
Check the "goth/alternative rock" sections of Discogs, Bandcamp.com, Last.fm and Soundclick.com and see what you can find. Be warned, though, because a lot of music is usually mislabelled and is actually metal, EBM or electronic which are separate scenes/genres of music.
Ask other goths for their Last.fm, personal goth playlists and Bandcamp profiles.
Use dark/alternative radio stations to find other goth/alternative bands such as nightbreedradio.com, and deathrockradio.
1-6. Start listening to modern goth bands.
Believe it or not, goth isn't just "an 80s genre" like some people believe. But it hasn't just stayed stagnant, either. The deathrock revival of the 00s showed bands dressing more colourfully and adding into their sound, but not in a way that changed it into something completely different. All Gone Dead are a good example of this. Darkwave bands mixing minimal wave into their music has become more prevalent, bands such as Boy Harsher, Hante and TRAITRS being a good example of this. Check out some of these modern bands on Bandcamp and YouTube. Bands include:
NU:N
Lebanon Hanover
Ash Code
She Past Away
Drab Majesty
Boy Harsher
TRAITRS
Cold Cave
Hante
Angels of Liberty
Grooving in Green
Delving into modern artists means you have more chance of seeing them live as they are more likely to be active. Check BandsInTown and your favourite bands' social media/official website to see if they're in your area.
2. Dressing the Part
2-1. Wear black
Learn the basics of traditional goth fashion. During the days of when the scene was new, the goths did not know or have a set image as to what goth looked like. They just made it up as they went along, but as goth is a certain style, similarities showed among the members. There are many so called "goth" styles out there, however, traditional goth, deathrock and romanticgoth (the style of dress a lot of goth bands wore in the 90s) are the only ones that are goth whereas other types take inspiration or mix goth fashion characteristics in with other styles, making it become its own thing. Goth fashion includes:
Darker colours, including purple and blood red
Satin bodices and corsets
Striped stockings and tights
Frilly or lace gloves
Lace skirts
DIY leather jacket, usually of favourite goth band logos
Sheer stockings and suspenders
Fishnet tights
Winklepickers, spiked heels, pointy-toe lace-ups, shiny thigh high boots or Doc Martens
Garments of leather, lace, velvet, silk or PVC
To capture the goth look, you have to invest in interesting fabric or interesting details. So, look for pieces which have leather accents, chain studding, contrasting fabric, etc.
2-2. Dye and style your hair.
Hair has always been an important part of shock tactic method of goth, and it usually takes longer than preparing your outfit or make up.
During the Batcave days, Siouxsie Sioux inspired girls to back comb their hair to uttermost heights and Patricia Morrison of The Sisters of Mercy influenced others to leave their hair long and black
Bauhaus, Robert Smith of The Cure, Specimen and Dave Vanian all influenced men's fashion and Jonny Slut, keyboardist of Specimen became the face of the band due to his elaborate style and huge, backcombed and hairsprayed death hawk.
However, you don't need to do anything too extreme everyday. If you prefer to have it long and black, perhaps choppy, you can. There aren't any rules on hair, but goth does have its style. If you're interested in having a certain style you can look up tutorials on YouTube.
2-3. Wear makeup.
Like goth fashion, goth makeup looks a certain way too. Makeup is based off how the original goth artists used to wear their makeup. Some ideas for goth makeup include:
Egyptian / Cleopatra inspired eye makeup, much like how Siouxsie Sioux wore hers or solid blocks of blue, purple or metallic eyeshadow.
Deathbrows, popularised by Daniel Ash. They were drawn on in black and then flared upwards, don't be afraid to experiment with eyeliner and eyeshadow while drawing "deathbrows".
Female eyebrows were either thin and high arched like Morticia Addams or pointed, triangular and thick like Siouxsie Sioux. If you don't necessarily like the style you don't have to wear it; create your own version, but a lot of fans of the music dressed like this because they were influenced by their idols.
2-4. Accessorize.
The more accessories you tend to add, the better your outfit looks. There are tons of accessories that go together with different themed outfits, for example you have fake fangs for a vampire outfit, a corset for a romantic outfit and sunglasses for a traditional outfit. Look for pieces that are unique and different to accentuate your gothic look.
Other goth accessories include:
Piercings, including lip, eyebrows, tongues and belly buttons
Sunglasses (much like The Sisters of Mercy), top hats, capes, cravats, riding crops or lunchbox purses. Piercings and colorful contact lenses and fake fangs are also popular.
Silver jewellery such as silver skulls, human skeletons and bats or religious imagery like crosses made into chunky rings, brooches and necklaces.
Nail polish. Black, purple and blood red were incredibly popular colours with goths.
Generally, goth fashion items have interesting fabrics or details, like pieces that have leather accents, chain studding, contrasting fabric, and anything else that's a little unique.
2-5. Go thrifting and prepare some DIY.
In the original scene, goths did not have complete stores to shop at. They had their creativity and what they found in local thrift stores to work with, meaning there was no "set" goth style (although it ended up looking similar in the end). As punk is DIY, that means goth is too, and will always be a big part of it. Start experimenting with clothes yourself, and make sure they are cheap enough so that if you mess up, you aren't too bothered about it. There are several goth DIY tutorials on YouTube and on blogs to follow if you have no ideas. Meanwhile, some simple tips include:
Buy or paint patches of your favourite band/anything from Etsy.com and eBay and sew them onto your jacket/garment of clothing.
Buy or make your own goth band/logo pins and do the same to them as you did with the patches.
Learn how to make jewellery, you can even sell it and begin your own business.
Cut up old clothes with patterns on and stitch patches onto clothes. Tartan or leopard print patches look great against black jackets.
Buy some safety pins and get creative with them, use them to pin jackets together or simply make patterns on your clothes.
Bleach clothes to create permanent patterns in them.
Clothes that have creative distressing, whether that's rips, tears, or just unique necklines, can contribute to your goth look.
3. Getting into the Mindset
3-1. Create a comfortable space for yourself.
Fill your room or your basement with sensuous surroundings: think gothic in terms of light, color, and sound. Put posters on the walls of your favorite bands and hand dark draperies on the walls to soundproof your space, so you can play your music as loud as you want without disturbing the rest of your family. Creating a space for yourself will put you in a headspace where you’re better shielded from the negativity of others. Since many goths are artists, writers, or musicians, it will also help you tap into the creativity and individuality that is such a big part of the subculture.
3-2. Read gothic novels.
Plenty of goths enjoy reading gothic literature. However, it influenced the goth subculture and isn't actually part of it, so reading gothic fiction alone won't make you goth. People were only starting to be called goth because they were into the music. Regardless, you can still enjoy it and indulge in the dark atmospherics that the genre has to offer. Some gothic works you may want to check out are:
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice
The Castle of Ontranto by Horace Walpole
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
Zastrozzi by Percy Bysshe Shelley
Anything by Edgar Allan Poe, especially his poem The Raven
Also read gothic poetry and try writing your own. William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience is a classic in goth poetry, as well as Sylvia Plath's Ariel.
3-3. Enjoy the creativity of the subculture.
Express yourself. Write poetry, paint, or take photographs, especially black and white photographs. Start a band and play goth music. The goth subculture is full of creative people who like to participate in that culture.
Oftentimes, people don't understand or respect the goth subculture. If someone is giving you trouble, just walk away. Don’t waste time arguing. Being friendly and kind to everyone and you might change their perception of goths for the better.
3-4. Listen to yourself.
Don't let anyone tell you what to do, including other goths. If The Cure doesn't do it for you, but you are really into Johnny Cash, so be it. Don't let anyone tell you you're not "goth enough" for superficial and otherwise unimportant reasons. The most important thing is that you're you, and you're trying to participate in a community that accepts that.
Develop your own style naturally. If you have a genuine interest in a scene, you will naturally be influenced as you get into the subculture. Do what makes you happy.
4. Getting Involved with the Community
4-1. Take part in Goth events, festivals and clubs.
Every year, and in several different countries across the world, goth clubs are open and festivals are planned. You can really take part in the goth community if you attend these and listen to what other goths have to say, especially since there will be people who have been into the subculture for 30 years or more, or even since it was born.
Some festivals, events and clubs are as listed:
World Goth Day
Return To The Batcave in Wrocław, Poland
Release The Bats, a deathrock club in Long Beach, California
Whitby Goth Weekend, Whitby, North Yorkshire, UK
Wave Gotik Treffen in Leipzig, Germany
Numerous goth clubs around the world
4-2. Learn goth slang.
Goth slang is an inside joke within the community and by becoming familiar with the terms, you may feel more at home.
Some goth slang phrases and their definitions are as followed:
A fictional points system which, every time you do something particularly gothy (example, listening to Bauhaus while dying your hair a shade of ebony), adds points to your card.
A fictional card which stores "goth points" as shown above.
A new and willing to learn member of the subculture. This is different to a poseur.
A term to describe someone who dresses in complete outfits from Hot Topic. This is frowned upon as goth has its roots in individualism and DIY.
A frequent visitor of the 1982 nightclub The Batcave, but now refers to someone who is an older goth and was a fan of the music played there.
4-3. Teach people about goth.
As a member of the subculture, it's important that you teach baby bats and people willing to learn about the scene. This stops the spreading of misinformation and gives baby bats the correct information they need to be able to develop into the subculture. If the media's "definition" of goth reaches them first, they may feel they're obliged to participate in negative stereotypes like attempting to worship the devil or self harming. Above all of this, too many baby bats have been unintentionally throwing goth customs and traditions that make goth what it is out of the window.
Forgetting the background, history and unifying elements of the subculture makes it lose all value and meaning. Without the background and history, goth would not be what it is today. Goth did not go from a complete social subculture with music and fashion relations to someone's opinion, or simply just a psychological "mindset".
Tips
If you are truly goth, you should be interested in it. Therefore, you should naturally want to research it and find out more. This is the first step to truly being goth.[60]
X
Research source
You do not only have to listen to goth rock or other goth genres to be goth. However, you should listen to enough of the genre to be considered a fan. No goth only listens to goth music, unless they are trying too hard, or are a purist. If you were into any type of music before discovering goth, keep listening to it.
Your goth fashion is not and should not look like a costume. Although, if you're just starting out, it may look like that for a while. If you should continue, you will get better at the fashion aspect of things.
Warnings
Contrary to mainstream belief, goth is not a cult, religion, lifestyle or mindset. A lifestyle is "a way a person lives", a subculture is defined as "cultural group within a larger culture, often having beliefs or interests at variance with those of the larger culture." "Gothic" more than "goth" could be considered a lifestyle due to it being a style, but goth subculture is based around goth music.
Some people throw around the "elitist" term a lot these days, and that's because there's a lot of people who stick to the background, history and roots of the subculture. Some people do not think like this and instead, think that goth is "whatever you want it to be". This is wrong as all types of media show that goth has roots tracing back to the punk subculture.
Don't believe online quizzes which determine what subculture [or, the word some people use, stereotype] you are part of. Most are often inaccurate as most creators of these quizzes haven't done any research or have made one for a bit of fun; not intended to take it seriously.[61]
X
Research source
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Listening to Goth Music\\n1-1. Learn the history of the goth subculture.\\nKnowing your background and history of the subculture you are developing yourself into is a very vital part of being goth. This helps you get past the baby bat stage (a \\\"baby bat\\\" is someone who is new to the subculture) and into maturing into the culture, music and fashion. Some important facts about goth are: \\nIn the year 1967, the American band The Doors were described as \\\"gothic rock\\\" and in 1974 Bowie's Diamond Dogs was called \\\"gothic\\\". However, it doesn't make the artist or band goth.\\nSome people cite Nico as the first to record a gothic album; either The Marble Index or The End.\\nThe song credited to have birthed the goth rock genre is the 1979 single Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. Peter Murphy, lead singer of the band, said that the song was supposed to be written tongue-in-cheek and that their mistake was performing it naive seriousness, which changed the way the audience understood it. This song was also played at the beginning of The Hunger, a film popular among goths.\\nGoth rock or gothic rock is a sub-genre of punk rock which was born out of the British post punk scene in the late 70s / early 80s.\\nA nightclub in London named \\\"The Batcave\\\" was opened in 1982 by members of Specimen that catered towards this new flourishing scene. Although the club never named themselves as a \\\"goth club\\\", the club helped bring all the forming elements of goth together.\\nThe subculture took inspiration from Gothic architecture such as castles and cathedrals; the Romantic movement originating from the late 1700 and 1800 century and Gothic literature such as The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole where the use of the word \\\"Gothic\\\" was first used in literature, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Dracula by Bram Stoker and the works of Edgar Allan Poe.\\nGoth subculture draws inspirations from ancient Celtic, Pagan, Egyptian and Christian mythology and religions and goth fashion combines high chic, antique, retro-kitsch, punk, fetish and secondhand trash elements\\n1-2. Learn what goth music is.\\nMembers of the subculture consider listening to and appreciating goth rock, post punk, deathrock and darkwave music to be an important part of being goth. Many goths listen to many other different genres, too, but there are certain ones which are considered goth whereas others are considered goth-friendly. It doesn't mean you can't listen to them, it just means that you won't make you \\\"goth\\\" if you only listen to those goth-friendly genres. \\nMusical goth characteristics include an echoing tribal beat, 4 / 4 post punk beat or drum machine, funeral synthesizers, flanging guitars that produced cold and brittle effects, distorted guitars, a prominent lead bassline and deep eerie baritone vocals, usually in men.\\n1-3. Understand the characters and different offshoots of goth music.\\nGoth is not only limited to goth rock, but includes some post-punk, deathrock, darkwave, ethereal wave, grey rock and afterpunk. Grey rock is the Portuguese term for post-punk / goth rock and afterpunk is the Spanish term.\\nDeathrock, which is the American counterpart that formed around the same time as goth did in the UK. Developed in Southern California, deathrock is a spooky and atmospheric offshoot of punk rock which consists of glam rock imagery, punk-inflected sound and attitude, shock rock theatrics and b-movie inspiration. Notable bands are Christian Death, 45 Grave and Kommunity FK.\\nDarkwave, an offshoot of goth rock that formed in the 80s. It combines elements of synthpop and new wave, incorporating dark, introspective lyrics and an undertone of sorrow. However the term, originally starting out as a post punk style, eventually became its own thing as bands started to make greater use of synthesizers and drum machines. Notable bands include Clan of Xymox, Dead Can Dance and Black Tape For a Blue Girl. Fans of darkwave are called \\\"darkwavers\\\".\\nColdwave, a subgenre of darkwave first coined by British writer Vivien Goldman in an article that review the Siouxsie and the Banshee's album The Scream. The sound mainly became popular in France and Belgium in the 90s but has since spread to other continents. Notable bands include Charles De Goal, Memorial Voice and Ruth.\\nEthereal wave, a subgenre of darkwave which has been described as \\\"gothic\\\", \\\"otherworldly\\\" and \\\"romantic\\\". It was developed in the early 80s, and is mainly represented by bands from the British independent record label, 4AD. Notable bands include Cocteau Twins,This Mortal Coil and Dead Can Dance.\\n1-4. Find goth bands you like and listen to the lyrics.\\nGoth music places a great emphasis on the lyric and matching the lyric with creating a mood. Many early vocalists aimed for a Leonard Cohen-like dirge to focus on the words in the song. Start with the most popular Goth songs like A Forest by The Cure, Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus and Cities In Dust by Siouxsie and the Banshees.\\nLearn the words to your favorite goth songs by copying out lyrics in a notebook. Knowing the words to your favorite songs can be a quick way to make friends with other goths, if you're into the same things.\\nIf you need some help, some notable goth albums include:\\nJoy Division - Closer (1980)\\nThe Cure - Pornography (1982)\\nSiouxsie and the Banshees - Juju (1981)\\nBauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead (1979)\\nThe Birthday Party - Release The Bats (1981)\\nThe Sisters of Mercy - Floodland (1987)\\nBlack Tape for a Blue Girl – Remnants of a Deeper Purity (1996)\\nChristian Death - Only Theatre of Pain (1982)\\n1-5. Develop your music taste.\\nLearning and listening to the most popular goth bands are good, and they will definitely earn you goth points on your goth card (see \\\"goth slang\\\") but finding underground or local goth bands is something you should definitely do, too. Most people stop at the most popular goth bands, but the most recent and underground ones deserve some recognition, in order to keep the goth scene alive. \\nCheck the \\\"goth/alternative rock\\\" sections of Discogs, Bandcamp.com, Last.fm and Soundclick.com and see what you can find. Be warned, though, because a lot of music is usually mislabelled and is actually metal, EBM or electronic which are separate scenes/genres of music.\\nAsk other goths for their Last.fm, personal goth playlists and Bandcamp profiles.\\nUse dark/alternative radio stations to find other goth/alternative bands such as nightbreedradio.com, and deathrockradio.\\n1-6. Start listening to modern goth bands.\\nBelieve it or not, goth isn't just \\\"an 80s genre\\\" like some people believe. But it hasn't just stayed stagnant, either. The deathrock revival of the 00s showed bands dressing more colourfully and adding into their sound, but not in a way that changed it into something completely different. All Gone Dead are a good example of this. Darkwave bands mixing minimal wave into their music has become more prevalent, bands such as Boy Harsher, Hante and TRAITRS being a good example of this. Check out some of these modern bands on Bandcamp and YouTube. Bands include:\\nNU:N\\nLebanon Hanover\\nAsh Code\\nShe Past Away\\nDrab Majesty\\nBoy Harsher\\nTRAITRS\\nCold Cave\\nHante\\nAngels of Liberty\\nGrooving in Green\\nDelving into modern artists means you have more chance of seeing them live as they are more likely to be active. Check BandsInTown and your favourite bands' social media/official website to see if they're in your area.\\n2. Dressing the Part\\n2-1. Wear black\\nLearn the basics of traditional goth fashion. During the days of when the scene was new, the goths did not know or have a set image as to what goth looked like. They just made it up as they went along, but as goth is a certain style, similarities showed among the members. There are many so called \\\"goth\\\" styles out there, however, traditional goth, deathrock and romanticgoth (the style of dress a lot of goth bands wore in the 90s) are the only ones that are goth whereas other types take inspiration or mix goth fashion characteristics in with other styles, making it become its own thing. Goth fashion includes:\\nDarker colours, including purple and blood red\\nSatin bodices and corsets\\nStriped stockings and tights\\nFrilly or lace gloves\\nLace skirts\\nDIY leather jacket, usually of favourite goth band logos\\nSheer stockings and suspenders\\nFishnet tights\\nWinklepickers, spiked heels, pointy-toe lace-ups, shiny thigh high boots or Doc Martens\\nGarments of leather, lace, velvet, silk or PVC\\nTo capture the goth look, you have to invest in interesting fabric or interesting details. So, look for pieces which have leather accents, chain studding, contrasting fabric, etc.\\n2-2. Dye and style your hair.\\nHair has always been an important part of shock tactic method of goth, and it usually takes longer than preparing your outfit or make up. \\nDuring the Batcave days, Siouxsie Sioux inspired girls to back comb their hair to uttermost heights and Patricia Morrison of The Sisters of Mercy influenced others to leave their hair long and black\\nBauhaus, Robert Smith of The Cure, Specimen and Dave Vanian all influenced men's fashion and Jonny Slut, keyboardist of Specimen became the face of the band due to his elaborate style and huge, backcombed and hairsprayed death hawk.\\nHowever, you don't need to do anything too extreme everyday. If you prefer to have it long and black, perhaps choppy, you can. There aren't any rules on hair, but goth does have its style. If you're interested in having a certain style you can look up tutorials on YouTube.\\n2-3. Wear makeup.\\nLike goth fashion, goth makeup looks a certain way too. Makeup is based off how the original goth artists used to wear their makeup. Some ideas for goth makeup include:\\nEgyptian / Cleopatra inspired eye makeup, much like how Siouxsie Sioux wore hers or solid blocks of blue, purple or metallic eyeshadow.\\nDeathbrows, popularised by Daniel Ash. They were drawn on in black and then flared upwards, don't be afraid to experiment with eyeliner and eyeshadow while drawing \\\"deathbrows\\\".\\nFemale eyebrows were either thin and high arched like Morticia Addams or pointed, triangular and thick like Siouxsie Sioux. If you don't necessarily like the style you don't have to wear it; create your own version, but a lot of fans of the music dressed like this because they were influenced by their idols.\\n2-4. Accessorize.\\nThe more accessories you tend to add, the better your outfit looks. There are tons of accessories that go together with different themed outfits, for example you have fake fangs for a vampire outfit, a corset for a romantic outfit and sunglasses for a traditional outfit. Look for pieces that are unique and different to accentuate your gothic look.\\nOther goth accessories include:\\nPiercings, including lip, eyebrows, tongues and belly buttons\\nSunglasses (much like The Sisters of Mercy), top hats, capes, cravats, riding crops or lunchbox purses. Piercings and colorful contact lenses and fake fangs are also popular.\\nSilver jewellery such as silver skulls, human skeletons and bats or religious imagery like crosses made into chunky rings, brooches and necklaces.\\nNail polish. Black, purple and blood red were incredibly popular colours with goths.\\n\\nGenerally, goth fashion items have interesting fabrics or details, like pieces that have leather accents, chain studding, contrasting fabric, and anything else that's a little unique.\\n2-5. Go thrifting and prepare some DIY.\\nIn the original scene, goths did not have complete stores to shop at. They had their creativity and what they found in local thrift stores to work with, meaning there was no \\\"set\\\" goth style (although it ended up looking similar in the end). As punk is DIY, that means goth is too, and will always be a big part of it. Start experimenting with clothes yourself, and make sure they are cheap enough so that if you mess up, you aren't too bothered about it. There are several goth DIY tutorials on YouTube and on blogs to follow if you have no ideas. Meanwhile, some simple tips include:\\nBuy or paint patches of your favourite band/anything from Etsy.com and eBay and sew them onto your jacket/garment of clothing.\\nBuy or make your own goth band/logo pins and do the same to them as you did with the patches.\\nLearn how to make jewellery, you can even sell it and begin your own business.\\nCut up old clothes with patterns on and stitch patches onto clothes. Tartan or leopard print patches look great against black jackets.\\nBuy some safety pins and get creative with them, use them to pin jackets together or simply make patterns on your clothes.\\nBleach clothes to create permanent patterns in them.\\nClothes that have creative distressing, whether that's rips, tears, or just unique necklines, can contribute to your goth look.\\n3. Getting into the Mindset\\n3-1. Create a comfortable space for yourself.\\nFill your room or your basement with sensuous surroundings: think gothic in terms of light, color, and sound. Put posters on the walls of your favorite bands and hand dark draperies on the walls to soundproof your space, so you can play your music as loud as you want without disturbing the rest of your family. Creating a space for yourself will put you in a headspace where you’re better shielded from the negativity of others. Since many goths are artists, writers, or musicians, it will also help you tap into the creativity and individuality that is such a big part of the subculture.\\n3-2. Read gothic novels.\\nPlenty of goths enjoy reading gothic literature. However, it influenced the goth subculture and isn't actually part of it, so reading gothic fiction alone won't make you goth. People were only starting to be called goth because they were into the music. Regardless, you can still enjoy it and indulge in the dark atmospherics that the genre has to offer. Some gothic works you may want to check out are: \\n\\nDracula by Bram Stoker\\nFrankenstein by Mary Shelley\\nInterview With the Vampire by Anne Rice\\nThe Castle of Ontranto by Horace Walpole\\nWuthering Heights by Emily Brontë\\nZastrozzi by Percy Bysshe Shelley\\nAnything by Edgar Allan Poe, especially his poem The Raven\\nAlso read gothic poetry and try writing your own. William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience is a classic in goth poetry, as well as Sylvia Plath's Ariel.\\n3-3. Enjoy the creativity of the subculture.\\nExpress yourself. Write poetry, paint, or take photographs, especially black and white photographs. Start a band and play goth music. The goth subculture is full of creative people who like to participate in that culture.\\nOftentimes, people don't understand or respect the goth subculture. If someone is giving you trouble, just walk away. Don’t waste time arguing. Being friendly and kind to everyone and you might change their perception of goths for the better.\\n3-4. Listen to yourself.\\nDon't let anyone tell you what to do, including other goths. If The Cure doesn't do it for you, but you are really into Johnny Cash, so be it. Don't let anyone tell you you're not \\\"goth enough\\\" for superficial and otherwise unimportant reasons. The most important thing is that you're you, and you're trying to participate in a community that accepts that.\\nDevelop your own style naturally. If you have a genuine interest in a scene, you will naturally be influenced as you get into the subculture. Do what makes you happy.\\n4. Getting Involved with the Community\\n4-1. Take part in Goth events, festivals and clubs.\\nEvery year, and in several different countries across the world, goth clubs are open and festivals are planned. You can really take part in the goth community if you attend these and listen to what other goths have to say, especially since there will be people who have been into the subculture for 30 years or more, or even since it was born. \\nSome festivals, events and clubs are as listed:\\n\\nWorld Goth Day\\n\\nReturn To The Batcave in Wrocław, Poland\\nRelease The Bats, a deathrock club in Long Beach, California\\n\\nWhitby Goth Weekend, Whitby, North Yorkshire, UK\\n\\nWave Gotik Treffen in Leipzig, Germany\\nNumerous goth clubs around the world\\n4-2. Learn goth slang.\\nGoth slang is an inside joke within the community and by becoming familiar with the terms, you may feel more at home.\\nSome goth slang phrases and their definitions are as followed:\\n\\n A fictional points system which, every time you do something particularly gothy (example, listening to Bauhaus while dying your hair a shade of ebony), adds points to your card.\\n A fictional card which stores \\\"goth points\\\" as shown above.\\n A new and willing to learn member of the subculture. This is different to a poseur.\\n A term to describe someone who dresses in complete outfits from Hot Topic. This is frowned upon as goth has its roots in individualism and DIY.\\n A frequent visitor of the 1982 nightclub The Batcave, but now refers to someone who is an older goth and was a fan of the music played there.\\n4-3. Teach people about goth.\\nAs a member of the subculture, it's important that you teach baby bats and people willing to learn about the scene. This stops the spreading of misinformation and gives baby bats the correct information they need to be able to develop into the subculture. If the media's \\\"definition\\\" of goth reaches them first, they may feel they're obliged to participate in negative stereotypes like attempting to worship the devil or self harming. Above all of this, too many baby bats have been unintentionally throwing goth customs and traditions that make goth what it is out of the window.\\nForgetting the background, history and unifying elements of the subculture makes it lose all value and meaning. Without the background and history, goth would not be what it is today. Goth did not go from a complete social subculture with music and fashion relations to someone's opinion, or simply just a psychological \\\"mindset\\\".\\nTips\\nIf you are truly goth, you should be interested in it. Therefore, you should naturally want to research it and find out more. This is the first step to truly being goth.[60]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nYou do not only have to listen to goth rock or other goth genres to be goth. However, you should listen to enough of the genre to be considered a fan. No goth only listens to goth music, unless they are trying too hard, or are a purist. If you were into any type of music before discovering goth, keep listening to it.\\nYour goth fashion is not and should not look like a costume. Although, if you're just starting out, it may look like that for a while. If you should continue, you will get better at the fashion aspect of things.\\nWarnings\\nContrary to mainstream belief, goth is not a cult, religion, lifestyle or mindset. A lifestyle is \\\"a way a person lives\\\", a subculture is defined as \\\"cultural group within a larger culture, often having beliefs or interests at variance with those of the larger culture.\\\" \\\"Gothic\\\" more than \\\"goth\\\" could be considered a lifestyle due to it being a style, but goth subculture is based around goth music.\\nSome people throw around the \\\"elitist\\\" term a lot these days, and that's because there's a lot of people who stick to the background, history and roots of the subculture. Some people do not think like this and instead, think that goth is \\\"whatever you want it to be\\\". This is wrong as all types of media show that goth has roots tracing back to the punk subculture.\\nDon't believe online quizzes which determine what subculture [or, the word some people use, stereotype] you are part of. Most are often inaccurate as most creators of these quizzes haven't done any research or have made one for a bit of fun; not intended to take it seriously.[61]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The dark world of goths is one of the most diverse and healthy subcultures, flourishing in all kinds of communities worldwide. The spooky, ghoulish look and dark clothes is an instantly striking style. But when other goths in white-out contact lenses start throwing around terms like \\\"ethereal chill wave\\\" and quoting from The Moonstone it can be somewhat intimidating. Starting slow and working your way into the goth subculture can be an immensely rewarding experience for anyone looking to join the community.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listening to Goth Music\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn the history of the goth subculture.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing your background and history of the subculture you are developing yourself into is a very vital part of being goth. This helps you get past the baby bat stage (a \\\"baby bat\\\" is someone who is new to the subculture) and into maturing into the culture, music and fashion. Some important facts about goth are: \\nIn the year 1967, the American band The Doors were described as \\\"gothic rock\\\" and in 1974 Bowie's Diamond Dogs was called \\\"gothic\\\". However, it doesn't make the artist or band goth.\\nSome people cite Nico as the first to record a gothic album; either The Marble Index or The End.\\nThe song credited to have birthed the goth rock genre is the 1979 single Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. Peter Murphy, lead singer of the band, said that the song was supposed to be written tongue-in-cheek and that their mistake was performing it naive seriousness, which changed the way the audience understood it. This song was also played at the beginning of The Hunger, a film popular among goths.\\nGoth rock or gothic rock is a sub-genre of punk rock which was born out of the British post punk scene in the late 70s / early 80s.\\nA nightclub in London named \\\"The Batcave\\\" was opened in 1982 by members of Specimen that catered towards this new flourishing scene. Although the club never named themselves as a \\\"goth club\\\", the club helped bring all the forming elements of goth together.\\nThe subculture took inspiration from Gothic architecture such as castles and cathedrals; the Romantic movement originating from the late 1700 and 1800 century and Gothic literature such as The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole where the use of the word \\\"Gothic\\\" was first used in literature, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Dracula by Bram Stoker and the works of Edgar Allan Poe.\\nGoth subculture draws inspirations from ancient Celtic, Pagan, Egyptian and Christian mythology and religions and goth fashion combines high chic, antique, retro-kitsch, punk, fetish and secondhand trash elements\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn what goth music is.\", \"描述\": \"Members of the subculture consider listening to and appreciating goth rock, post punk, deathrock and darkwave music to be an important part of being goth. Many goths listen to many other different genres, too, but there are certain ones which are considered goth whereas others are considered goth-friendly. It doesn't mean you can't listen to them, it just means that you won't make you \\\"goth\\\" if you only listen to those goth-friendly genres. \\nMusical goth characteristics include an echoing tribal beat, 4 / 4 post punk beat or drum machine, funeral synthesizers, flanging guitars that produced cold and brittle effects, distorted guitars, a prominent lead bassline and deep eerie baritone vocals, usually in men.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand the characters and different offshoots of goth music.\", \"描述\": \"Goth is not only limited to goth rock, but includes some post-punk, deathrock, darkwave, ethereal wave, grey rock and afterpunk. Grey rock is the Portuguese term for post-punk / goth rock and afterpunk is the Spanish term.\\nDeathrock, which is the American counterpart that formed around the same time as goth did in the UK. Developed in Southern California, deathrock is a spooky and atmospheric offshoot of punk rock which consists of glam rock imagery, punk-inflected sound and attitude, shock rock theatrics and b-movie inspiration. Notable bands are Christian Death, 45 Grave and Kommunity FK.\\nDarkwave, an offshoot of goth rock that formed in the 80s. It combines elements of synthpop and new wave, incorporating dark, introspective lyrics and an undertone of sorrow. However the term, originally starting out as a post punk style, eventually became its own thing as bands started to make greater use of synthesizers and drum machines. Notable bands include Clan of Xymox, Dead Can Dance and Black Tape For a Blue Girl. Fans of darkwave are called \\\"darkwavers\\\".\\nColdwave, a subgenre of darkwave first coined by British writer Vivien Goldman in an article that review the Siouxsie and the Banshee's album The Scream. The sound mainly became popular in France and Belgium in the 90s but has since spread to other continents. Notable bands include Charles De Goal, Memorial Voice and Ruth.\\nEthereal wave, a subgenre of darkwave which has been described as \\\"gothic\\\", \\\"otherworldly\\\" and \\\"romantic\\\". It was developed in the early 80s, and is mainly represented by bands from the British independent record label, 4AD. Notable bands include Cocteau Twins,This Mortal Coil and Dead Can Dance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find goth bands you like and listen to the lyrics.\", \"描述\": \"Goth music places a great emphasis on the lyric and matching the lyric with creating a mood. Many early vocalists aimed for a Leonard Cohen-like dirge to focus on the words in the song. Start with the most popular Goth songs like A Forest by The Cure, Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus and Cities In Dust by Siouxsie and the Banshees.\\nLearn the words to your favorite goth songs by copying out lyrics in a notebook. Knowing the words to your favorite songs can be a quick way to make friends with other goths, if you're into the same things.\\nIf you need some help, some notable goth albums include:\\nJoy Division - Closer (1980)\\nThe Cure - Pornography (1982)\\nSiouxsie and the Banshees - Juju (1981)\\nBauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead (1979)\\nThe Birthday Party - Release The Bats (1981)\\nThe Sisters of Mercy - Floodland (1987)\\nBlack Tape for a Blue Girl – Remnants of a Deeper Purity (1996)\\nChristian Death - Only Theatre of Pain (1982)\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop your music taste.\", \"描述\": \"Learning and listening to the most popular goth bands are good, and they will definitely earn you goth points on your goth card (see \\\"goth slang\\\") but finding underground or local goth bands is something you should definitely do, too. Most people stop at the most popular goth bands, but the most recent and underground ones deserve some recognition, in order to keep the goth scene alive. \\nCheck the \\\"goth/alternative rock\\\" sections of Discogs, Bandcamp.com, Last.fm and Soundclick.com and see what you can find. Be warned, though, because a lot of music is usually mislabelled and is actually metal, EBM or electronic which are separate scenes/genres of music.\\nAsk other goths for their Last.fm, personal goth playlists and Bandcamp profiles.\\nUse dark/alternative radio stations to find other goth/alternative bands such as nightbreedradio.com, and deathrockradio.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Start listening to modern goth bands.\", \"描述\": \"Believe it or not, goth isn't just \\\"an 80s genre\\\" like some people believe. But it hasn't just stayed stagnant, either. The deathrock revival of the 00s showed bands dressing more colourfully and adding into their sound, but not in a way that changed it into something completely different. All Gone Dead are a good example of this. Darkwave bands mixing minimal wave into their music has become more prevalent, bands such as Boy Harsher, Hante and TRAITRS being a good example of this. Check out some of these modern bands on Bandcamp and YouTube. Bands include:\\nNU:N\\nLebanon Hanover\\nAsh Code\\nShe Past Away\\nDrab Majesty\\nBoy Harsher\\nTRAITRS\\nCold Cave\\nHante\\nAngels of Liberty\\nGrooving in Green\\nDelving into modern artists means you have more chance of seeing them live as they are more likely to be active. Check BandsInTown and your favourite bands' social media/official website to see if they're in your area.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear black\", \"描述\": \"Learn the basics of traditional goth fashion. During the days of when the scene was new, the goths did not know or have a set image as to what goth looked like. They just made it up as they went along, but as goth is a certain style, similarities showed among the members. There are many so called \\\"goth\\\" styles out there, however, traditional goth, deathrock and romanticgoth (the style of dress a lot of goth bands wore in the 90s) are the only ones that are goth whereas other types take inspiration or mix goth fashion characteristics in with other styles, making it become its own thing. Goth fashion includes:\\nDarker colours, including purple and blood red\\nSatin bodices and corsets\\nStriped stockings and tights\\nFrilly or lace gloves\\nLace skirts\\nDIY leather jacket, usually of favourite goth band logos\\nSheer stockings and suspenders\\nFishnet tights\\nWinklepickers, spiked heels, pointy-toe lace-ups, shiny thigh high boots or Doc Martens\\nGarments of leather, lace, velvet, silk or PVC\\nTo capture the goth look, you have to invest in interesting fabric or interesting details. So, look for pieces which have leather accents, chain studding, contrasting fabric, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dye and style your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Hair has always been an important part of shock tactic method of goth, and it usually takes longer than preparing your outfit or make up. \\nDuring the Batcave days, Siouxsie Sioux inspired girls to back comb their hair to uttermost heights and Patricia Morrison of The Sisters of Mercy influenced others to leave their hair long and black\\nBauhaus, Robert Smith of The Cure, Specimen and Dave Vanian all influenced men's fashion and Jonny Slut, keyboardist of Specimen became the face of the band due to his elaborate style and huge, backcombed and hairsprayed death hawk.\\nHowever, you don't need to do anything too extreme everyday. If you prefer to have it long and black, perhaps choppy, you can. There aren't any rules on hair, but goth does have its style. If you're interested in having a certain style you can look up tutorials on YouTube.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Like goth fashion, goth makeup looks a certain way too. Makeup is based off how the original goth artists used to wear their makeup. Some ideas for goth makeup include:\\nEgyptian / Cleopatra inspired eye makeup, much like how Siouxsie Sioux wore hers or solid blocks of blue, purple or metallic eyeshadow.\\nDeathbrows, popularised by Daniel Ash. They were drawn on in black and then flared upwards, don't be afraid to experiment with eyeliner and eyeshadow while drawing \\\"deathbrows\\\".\\nFemale eyebrows were either thin and high arched like Morticia Addams or pointed, triangular and thick like Siouxsie Sioux. If you don't necessarily like the style you don't have to wear it; create your own version, but a lot of fans of the music dressed like this because they were influenced by their idols.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accessorize.\", \"描述\": \"The more accessories you tend to add, the better your outfit looks. There are tons of accessories that go together with different themed outfits, for example you have fake fangs for a vampire outfit, a corset for a romantic outfit and sunglasses for a traditional outfit. Look for pieces that are unique and different to accentuate your gothic look.\\nOther goth accessories include:\\nPiercings, including lip, eyebrows, tongues and belly buttons\\nSunglasses (much like The Sisters of Mercy), top hats, capes, cravats, riding crops or lunchbox purses. Piercings and colorful contact lenses and fake fangs are also popular.\\nSilver jewellery such as silver skulls, human skeletons and bats or religious imagery like crosses made into chunky rings, brooches and necklaces.\\nNail polish. Black, purple and blood red were incredibly popular colours with goths.\\n\\nGenerally, goth fashion items have interesting fabrics or details, like pieces that have leather accents, chain studding, contrasting fabric, and anything else that's a little unique.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go thrifting and prepare some DIY.\", \"描述\": \"In the original scene, goths did not have complete stores to shop at. They had their creativity and what they found in local thrift stores to work with, meaning there was no \\\"set\\\" goth style (although it ended up looking similar in the end). As punk is DIY, that means goth is too, and will always be a big part of it. Start experimenting with clothes yourself, and make sure they are cheap enough so that if you mess up, you aren't too bothered about it. There are several goth DIY tutorials on YouTube and on blogs to follow if you have no ideas. Meanwhile, some simple tips include:\\nBuy or paint patches of your favourite band/anything from Etsy.com and eBay and sew them onto your jacket/garment of clothing.\\nBuy or make your own goth band/logo pins and do the same to them as you did with the patches.\\nLearn how to make jewellery, you can even sell it and begin your own business.\\nCut up old clothes with patterns on and stitch patches onto clothes. Tartan or leopard print patches look great against black jackets.\\nBuy some safety pins and get creative with them, use them to pin jackets together or simply make patterns on your clothes.\\nBleach clothes to create permanent patterns in them.\\nClothes that have creative distressing, whether that's rips, tears, or just unique necklines, can contribute to your goth look.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting into the Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a comfortable space for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Fill your room or your basement with sensuous surroundings: think gothic in terms of light, color, and sound. Put posters on the walls of your favorite bands and hand dark draperies on the walls to soundproof your space, so you can play your music as loud as you want without disturbing the rest of your family. Creating a space for yourself will put you in a headspace where you’re better shielded from the negativity of others. Since many goths are artists, writers, or musicians, it will also help you tap into the creativity and individuality that is such a big part of the subculture.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read gothic novels.\", \"描述\": \"Plenty of goths enjoy reading gothic literature. However, it influenced the goth subculture and isn't actually part of it, so reading gothic fiction alone won't make you goth. People were only starting to be called goth because they were into the music. Regardless, you can still enjoy it and indulge in the dark atmospherics that the genre has to offer. Some gothic works you may want to check out are: \\n\\nDracula by Bram Stoker\\nFrankenstein by Mary Shelley\\nInterview With the Vampire by Anne Rice\\nThe Castle of Ontranto by Horace Walpole\\nWuthering Heights by Emily Brontë\\nZastrozzi by Percy Bysshe Shelley\\nAnything by Edgar Allan Poe, especially his poem The Raven\\nAlso read gothic poetry and try writing your own. William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Experience is a classic in goth poetry, as well as Sylvia Plath's Ariel.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the creativity of the subculture.\", \"描述\": \"Express yourself. Write poetry, paint, or take photographs, especially black and white photographs. Start a band and play goth music. The goth subculture is full of creative people who like to participate in that culture.\\nOftentimes, people don't understand or respect the goth subculture. If someone is giving you trouble, just walk away. Don’t waste time arguing. Being friendly and kind to everyone and you might change their perception of goths for the better.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let anyone tell you what to do, including other goths. If The Cure doesn't do it for you, but you are really into Johnny Cash, so be it. Don't let anyone tell you you're not \\\"goth enough\\\" for superficial and otherwise unimportant reasons. The most important thing is that you're you, and you're trying to participate in a community that accepts that.\\nDevelop your own style naturally. If you have a genuine interest in a scene, you will naturally be influenced as you get into the subculture. Do what makes you happy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved with the Community\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take part in Goth events, festivals and clubs.\", \"描述\": \"Every year, and in several different countries across the world, goth clubs are open and festivals are planned. You can really take part in the goth community if you attend these and listen to what other goths have to say, especially since there will be people who have been into the subculture for 30 years or more, or even since it was born. \\nSome festivals, events and clubs are as listed:\\n\\nWorld Goth Day\\n\\nReturn To The Batcave in Wrocław, Poland\\nRelease The Bats, a deathrock club in Long Beach, California\\n\\nWhitby Goth Weekend, Whitby, North Yorkshire, UK\\n\\nWave Gotik Treffen in Leipzig, Germany\\nNumerous goth clubs around the world\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn goth slang.\", \"描述\": \"Goth slang is an inside joke within the community and by becoming familiar with the terms, you may feel more at home.\\nSome goth slang phrases and their definitions are as followed:\\n\\n A fictional points system which, every time you do something particularly gothy (example, listening to Bauhaus while dying your hair a shade of ebony), adds points to your card.\\n A fictional card which stores \\\"goth points\\\" as shown above.\\n A new and willing to learn member of the subculture. This is different to a poseur.\\n A term to describe someone who dresses in complete outfits from Hot Topic. This is frowned upon as goth has its roots in individualism and DIY.\\n A frequent visitor of the 1982 nightclub The Batcave, but now refers to someone who is an older goth and was a fan of the music played there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Teach people about goth.\", \"描述\": \"As a member of the subculture, it's important that you teach baby bats and people willing to learn about the scene. This stops the spreading of misinformation and gives baby bats the correct information they need to be able to develop into the subculture. If the media's \\\"definition\\\" of goth reaches them first, they may feel they're obliged to participate in negative stereotypes like attempting to worship the devil or self harming. Above all of this, too many baby bats have been unintentionally throwing goth customs and traditions that make goth what it is out of the window.\\nForgetting the background, history and unifying elements of the subculture makes it lose all value and meaning. Without the background and history, goth would not be what it is today. Goth did not go from a complete social subculture with music and fashion relations to someone's opinion, or simply just a psychological \\\"mindset\\\".\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are truly goth, you should be interested in it. Therefore, you should naturally want to research it and find out more. This is the first step to truly being goth.[60]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"You do not only have to listen to goth rock or other goth genres to be goth. However, you should listen to enough of the genre to be considered a fan. No goth only listens to goth music, unless they are trying too hard, or are a purist. If you were into any type of music before discovering goth, keep listening to it.\\n\", \"Your goth fashion is not and should not look like a costume. Although, if you're just starting out, it may look like that for a while. If you should continue, you will get better at the fashion aspect of things.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Contrary to mainstream belief, goth is not a cult, religion, lifestyle or mindset. A lifestyle is \\\"a way a person lives\\\", a subculture is defined as \\\"cultural group within a larger culture, often having beliefs or interests at variance with those of the larger culture.\\\" \\\"Gothic\\\" more than \\\"goth\\\" could be considered a lifestyle due to it being a style, but goth subculture is based around goth music.\\n\", \"Some people throw around the \\\"elitist\\\" term a lot these days, and that's because there's a lot of people who stick to the background, history and roots of the subculture. Some people do not think like this and instead, think that goth is \\\"whatever you want it to be\\\". This is wrong as all types of media show that goth has roots tracing back to the punk subculture.\\n\", \"Don't believe online quizzes which determine what subculture [or, the word some people use, stereotype] you are part of. Most are often inaccurate as most creators of these quizzes haven't done any research or have made one for a bit of fun; not intended to take it seriously.[61]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,782 | How to Be Gothic As a Teenager | 1. Dressing Gothically
1-1. Stock up on black clothing.
The color black will be the foundation of your wardrobe. Choose several different styles and cuts of clothing, all in black, like T-shirts, long-sleeved shirts, tank tops, jeans, leggings, trousers, skirts, and dresses.
You can also pair dark colors with black clothing items, such as dark burgundy over pastel pink and navy instead of sky blue.
1-2. Select items made of leather and lace.
Both leather and lace are quintessential goth items. Tight leather pants, lace tops and dresses, leather vests and jackets, lace stockings, and leather book bags would all work well. You can opt for black leather and lace, or choose other dark colors, like forest green, plum, and charcoal gray.
1-3. Choose garments with goth patterns.
Your entire outfit doesn’t need to be black every day. Wear colored clothing with patterns like skulls, crosses, ouija boards, crows, roses, and angel wings. Clothes featuring gothic icons, like the Cult, Edward Scissorhands, Marilyn Manson, Elvira, Killing Joke, the Misfits, or the Addams Family, are also great choices.
You can pair black pants with a red skull-patterned shirt or wear purple leggings with an angel-patterned top, for instance.
1-4. Pick goth accessories.
Studded or spiked belts and wrist cuffs, jewelry in the shape of skulls or crosses, and black hats are all great options. Chains and fingerless gloves are also popular when creating a goth look. Victorian-era jewlery, like dangly earrings or chokers, are another good choice.
1-5. Wear black shoes.
Choose from combat boots (a gothic staple), high-heeled boots, lace-up boots, or any other style you like. If you prefer shoes, go for black sneakers, flats, platforms, wedges, pumps, loafers, or even sandals. Choose a few pairs that are comfortable and durable so that you’ll have a great shoe to go with every outfit.
1-6. Add goth accents to your uniform.
If you have to wear a uniform for school, you can still look goth by adding accents like rose patterned tights or jewelry featuring skulls or crosses. Put goth pins on your sweater or book bag. You can also paint your fingernails black and choose goth makeup and hairstyles. Add black accessories, like combat boots and a trench coat.
Be sure to follow the dress code and avoid adding anything to your uniform that contains inappropriate words or images.
2. Creating Gothic Makeup and Hairstyles
2-1. Select pale foundation.
The iconic gothic look features pale skin and black eye makeup. Choose a foundation a few shades lighter than your natural skin tone. Use clean fingers to spread the foundation across your entire face and neck. Use a brush or sponge to ensure it is well blended.
If you aren’t allowed to wear makeup, or if you have a darker skin tone, don’t worry! You can still create a gothic look through your clothes and accessories.
For any ethnic goths, if you really wish you pull off a pale foundation but obviously can't, dye your hair as darkly as possible. Even if the contrast isn't significant, it will be enough to draw attention away from your non-pallid complexion.
2-2. Wear dramatic eye makeup.
Choose a dark eyeshadow, like black, gray, or purple. You can use pencil or liquid eyeliner to create a cat-eye look or simply ring your eyes with black liner. Swipe on several coats of black mascara, or choose mascara in a fun color, like pink, blue, or purple.
For school, you may need to minimize the amount of makeup you wear. Choose one goth style, like black lipstick or eyeliner, and skip the rest.
2-3. Pick a dark lip color.
Dark lipstick, like black, will contrast well with your pale face. You can also opt for a classic, deep red or mix it up by choosing a plum, magenta, or navy lipstick. You can choose a signature color to wear every day, or choose the color depending on your outfit or mood.
2-4. Choose any hairstyle you wish.
You don’t have to have long, black hair to be gothic. Feel free to choose the cut and style you like best, or leave your hair natural. Anything goes, from a shaved head or a mohawk, to long, flowing curls or stick-straight tresses.
2-5. Color your hair
Choose a deep blue-black or go for a bolder color, like cherry red. Purple, green, and blue are also popular hair colors for goths. You can dye all your hair, add highlights, create an ombre effect, or only color the tips. Choose a color and style that makes you feel great, but be sure to ask your parents for permission, first!
2-6. Add gothic hair accessories.
Bandanas, headbands, chopsticks, barrettes, and clips can help keep your hair out of your face and also add interest to your style. Choose hair accessories in lace or leather, go for solid black, or pick a pattern like roses or skulls.
3. Living a Gothic Lifestyle
3-1. Research goth history.
If you truly want to be goth, you should learn about the history and subculture of goths. Do an Internet search or go to the library and pick up a few books on the subject, like Hex Files: The Goth Bible by Mick Mercer. Find out more about goth icons, including musicians and film characters, like Alice Cooper, David Vanian, and Theda Bara.
Goth subculture emerged in the United Kingdom in the 1980s and was influenced by both punk rock and 19th Century gothic literature.
Find inspiration from goth TV and film characters, like Lydia Deetz, John Blaylock, Lily Munster, Donnie Darko, and Wednesday Addams.
3-2. Listen to goth music.
There are a lot of different genres, like gothic rock, deathrock, EBM, Darkwave, and new wave. Goth artists include Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, The Sisters of Mercy, and The Cure. Choose music that you enjoy listening to and can relate to. Don't feel like you have to stop listening to a band just because it's not goth—and don't listen to a band just because it is goth.
It is for the most part universally agreed among goths that music is the determining factor. You don't need to only listen to goth music (or its sub-genres) but you must have at least some interest in it.
Begin with Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. This is the epitome of goth music.
3-3. Read goth books.
Search your local library catalog using a keyword like “goth” to get started. Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, Nevermore by Kelly Creagh, Poppy Z Brite’s Lost Souls, and Goth Girl Rising by Barry Lyga are good options. You can choose books about vampires and the undead, as well as those that explore ideas like mortality and darkness.
Classic and Romantic literature are very important. Most goths are culturally literate. Read Dracula by Bram Stoker, or maybe even a little Oscar Wilde.
Traditional gothic literature includes Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.
3-4. Show your creativity.
Gothics are generally creative people who have intense emotions. Express those emotions through art, like drawing, journaling, singing, painting, or dancing. You can also write poetry, stories, or songs. Use your creativity to enhance your wardrobe or come up with new makeup looks or hairstyles.
3-5. Reject the status quo.
Goths don’t follow trends or mainstream ideas, they are free thinkers that form their own opinions. Don’t go along with something just because other people are doing it—even if those people are your goth friends. Make your own decisions based on your personal preferences and values.
3-6. Attend gothic events.
Join social media groups for gothic teens to find out about gothic events. You can also do an Internet search to find gothic festivals or clubs in your area. Here you can meet other gothic teens, learn more about the gothic subculture, and get ideas for your own hair, makeup, wardrobe, and lifestyle.
Even if you can’t find goth events in your area, you can still connect with other gothic teens through forums and goth groups online.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dressing Gothically\\n1-1. Stock up on black clothing.\\nThe color black will be the foundation of your wardrobe. Choose several different styles and cuts of clothing, all in black, like T-shirts, long-sleeved shirts, tank tops, jeans, leggings, trousers, skirts, and dresses.\\nYou can also pair dark colors with black clothing items, such as dark burgundy over pastel pink and navy instead of sky blue.\\n1-2. Select items made of leather and lace.\\nBoth leather and lace are quintessential goth items. Tight leather pants, lace tops and dresses, leather vests and jackets, lace stockings, and leather book bags would all work well. You can opt for black leather and lace, or choose other dark colors, like forest green, plum, and charcoal gray.\\n1-3. Choose garments with goth patterns.\\nYour entire outfit doesn’t need to be black every day. Wear colored clothing with patterns like skulls, crosses, ouija boards, crows, roses, and angel wings. Clothes featuring gothic icons, like the Cult, Edward Scissorhands, Marilyn Manson, Elvira, Killing Joke, the Misfits, or the Addams Family, are also great choices.\\nYou can pair black pants with a red skull-patterned shirt or wear purple leggings with an angel-patterned top, for instance.\\n1-4. Pick goth accessories.\\nStudded or spiked belts and wrist cuffs, jewelry in the shape of skulls or crosses, and black hats are all great options. Chains and fingerless gloves are also popular when creating a goth look. Victorian-era jewlery, like dangly earrings or chokers, are another good choice.\\n1-5. Wear black shoes.\\nChoose from combat boots (a gothic staple), high-heeled boots, lace-up boots, or any other style you like. If you prefer shoes, go for black sneakers, flats, platforms, wedges, pumps, loafers, or even sandals. Choose a few pairs that are comfortable and durable so that you’ll have a great shoe to go with every outfit.\\n1-6. Add goth accents to your uniform.\\nIf you have to wear a uniform for school, you can still look goth by adding accents like rose patterned tights or jewelry featuring skulls or crosses. Put goth pins on your sweater or book bag. You can also paint your fingernails black and choose goth makeup and hairstyles. Add black accessories, like combat boots and a trench coat.\\nBe sure to follow the dress code and avoid adding anything to your uniform that contains inappropriate words or images.\\n2. Creating Gothic Makeup and Hairstyles\\n2-1. Select pale foundation.\\nThe iconic gothic look features pale skin and black eye makeup. Choose a foundation a few shades lighter than your natural skin tone. Use clean fingers to spread the foundation across your entire face and neck. Use a brush or sponge to ensure it is well blended.\\nIf you aren’t allowed to wear makeup, or if you have a darker skin tone, don’t worry! You can still create a gothic look through your clothes and accessories.\\nFor any ethnic goths, if you really wish you pull off a pale foundation but obviously can't, dye your hair as darkly as possible. Even if the contrast isn't significant, it will be enough to draw attention away from your non-pallid complexion.\\n2-2. Wear dramatic eye makeup.\\nChoose a dark eyeshadow, like black, gray, or purple. You can use pencil or liquid eyeliner to create a cat-eye look or simply ring your eyes with black liner. Swipe on several coats of black mascara, or choose mascara in a fun color, like pink, blue, or purple.\\nFor school, you may need to minimize the amount of makeup you wear. Choose one goth style, like black lipstick or eyeliner, and skip the rest.\\n2-3. Pick a dark lip color.\\nDark lipstick, like black, will contrast well with your pale face. You can also opt for a classic, deep red or mix it up by choosing a plum, magenta, or navy lipstick. You can choose a signature color to wear every day, or choose the color depending on your outfit or mood.\\n2-4. Choose any hairstyle you wish.\\nYou don’t have to have long, black hair to be gothic. Feel free to choose the cut and style you like best, or leave your hair natural. Anything goes, from a shaved head or a mohawk, to long, flowing curls or stick-straight tresses.\\n2-5. Color your hair\\nChoose a deep blue-black or go for a bolder color, like cherry red. Purple, green, and blue are also popular hair colors for goths. You can dye all your hair, add highlights, create an ombre effect, or only color the tips. Choose a color and style that makes you feel great, but be sure to ask your parents for permission, first!\\n2-6. Add gothic hair accessories.\\nBandanas, headbands, chopsticks, barrettes, and clips can help keep your hair out of your face and also add interest to your style. Choose hair accessories in lace or leather, go for solid black, or pick a pattern like roses or skulls.\\n3. Living a Gothic Lifestyle\\n3-1. Research goth history.\\nIf you truly want to be goth, you should learn about the history and subculture of goths. Do an Internet search or go to the library and pick up a few books on the subject, like Hex Files: The Goth Bible by Mick Mercer. Find out more about goth icons, including musicians and film characters, like Alice Cooper, David Vanian, and Theda Bara.\\nGoth subculture emerged in the United Kingdom in the 1980s and was influenced by both punk rock and 19th Century gothic literature.\\nFind inspiration from goth TV and film characters, like Lydia Deetz, John Blaylock, Lily Munster, Donnie Darko, and Wednesday Addams.\\n3-2. Listen to goth music.\\nThere are a lot of different genres, like gothic rock, deathrock, EBM, Darkwave, and new wave. Goth artists include Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, The Sisters of Mercy, and The Cure. Choose music that you enjoy listening to and can relate to. Don't feel like you have to stop listening to a band just because it's not goth—and don't listen to a band just because it is goth.\\nIt is for the most part universally agreed among goths that music is the determining factor. You don't need to only listen to goth music (or its sub-genres) but you must have at least some interest in it.\\nBegin with Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. This is the epitome of goth music.\\n3-3. Read goth books.\\nSearch your local library catalog using a keyword like “goth” to get started. Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, Nevermore by Kelly Creagh, Poppy Z Brite’s Lost Souls, and Goth Girl Rising by Barry Lyga are good options. You can choose books about vampires and the undead, as well as those that explore ideas like mortality and darkness.\\nClassic and Romantic literature are very important. Most goths are culturally literate. Read Dracula by Bram Stoker, or maybe even a little Oscar Wilde.\\nTraditional gothic literature includes Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.\\n3-4. Show your creativity.\\nGothics are generally creative people who have intense emotions. Express those emotions through art, like drawing, journaling, singing, painting, or dancing. You can also write poetry, stories, or songs. Use your creativity to enhance your wardrobe or come up with new makeup looks or hairstyles.\\n3-5. Reject the status quo.\\nGoths don’t follow trends or mainstream ideas, they are free thinkers that form their own opinions. Don’t go along with something just because other people are doing it—even if those people are your goth friends. Make your own decisions based on your personal preferences and values.\\n3-6. Attend gothic events.\\nJoin social media groups for gothic teens to find out about gothic events. You can also do an Internet search to find gothic festivals or clubs in your area. Here you can meet other gothic teens, learn more about the gothic subculture, and get ideas for your own hair, makeup, wardrobe, and lifestyle.\\nEven if you can’t find goth events in your area, you can still connect with other gothic teens through forums and goth groups online.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you want to be a gothic teen, opt for outfits constructed primarily of black clothing with gothic details, like a studded belt or skull-patterned tights. Use art to express yourself, such as through fashion and makeup. Research the background and subculture so you have a complete understanding of what it means to be goth. Read gothic novels and listen to gothic music to immerse yourself in gothic life. With a little research and a few simple steps, you can transform into a gothic teen.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dressing Gothically\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stock up on black clothing.\", \"描述\": \"The color black will be the foundation of your wardrobe. Choose several different styles and cuts of clothing, all in black, like T-shirts, long-sleeved shirts, tank tops, jeans, leggings, trousers, skirts, and dresses.\\nYou can also pair dark colors with black clothing items, such as dark burgundy over pastel pink and navy instead of sky blue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Select items made of leather and lace.\", \"描述\": \"Both leather and lace are quintessential goth items. Tight leather pants, lace tops and dresses, leather vests and jackets, lace stockings, and leather book bags would all work well. You can opt for black leather and lace, or choose other dark colors, like forest green, plum, and charcoal gray.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose garments with goth patterns.\", \"描述\": \"Your entire outfit doesn’t need to be black every day. Wear colored clothing with patterns like skulls, crosses, ouija boards, crows, roses, and angel wings. Clothes featuring gothic icons, like the Cult, Edward Scissorhands, Marilyn Manson, Elvira, Killing Joke, the Misfits, or the Addams Family, are also great choices.\\nYou can pair black pants with a red skull-patterned shirt or wear purple leggings with an angel-patterned top, for instance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick goth accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Studded or spiked belts and wrist cuffs, jewelry in the shape of skulls or crosses, and black hats are all great options. Chains and fingerless gloves are also popular when creating a goth look. Victorian-era jewlery, like dangly earrings or chokers, are another good choice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear black shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Choose from combat boots (a gothic staple), high-heeled boots, lace-up boots, or any other style you like. If you prefer shoes, go for black sneakers, flats, platforms, wedges, pumps, loafers, or even sandals. Choose a few pairs that are comfortable and durable so that you’ll have a great shoe to go with every outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add goth accents to your uniform.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to wear a uniform for school, you can still look goth by adding accents like rose patterned tights or jewelry featuring skulls or crosses. Put goth pins on your sweater or book bag. You can also paint your fingernails black and choose goth makeup and hairstyles. Add black accessories, like combat boots and a trench coat.\\nBe sure to follow the dress code and avoid adding anything to your uniform that contains inappropriate words or images.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating Gothic Makeup and Hairstyles\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Select pale foundation.\", \"描述\": \"The iconic gothic look features pale skin and black eye makeup. Choose a foundation a few shades lighter than your natural skin tone. Use clean fingers to spread the foundation across your entire face and neck. Use a brush or sponge to ensure it is well blended.\\nIf you aren’t allowed to wear makeup, or if you have a darker skin tone, don’t worry! You can still create a gothic look through your clothes and accessories.\\nFor any ethnic goths, if you really wish you pull off a pale foundation but obviously can't, dye your hair as darkly as possible. Even if the contrast isn't significant, it will be enough to draw attention away from your non-pallid complexion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear dramatic eye makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a dark eyeshadow, like black, gray, or purple. You can use pencil or liquid eyeliner to create a cat-eye look or simply ring your eyes with black liner. Swipe on several coats of black mascara, or choose mascara in a fun color, like pink, blue, or purple.\\nFor school, you may need to minimize the amount of makeup you wear. Choose one goth style, like black lipstick or eyeliner, and skip the rest.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick a dark lip color.\", \"描述\": \"Dark lipstick, like black, will contrast well with your pale face. You can also opt for a classic, deep red or mix it up by choosing a plum, magenta, or navy lipstick. You can choose a signature color to wear every day, or choose the color depending on your outfit or mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose any hairstyle you wish.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to have long, black hair to be gothic. Feel free to choose the cut and style you like best, or leave your hair natural. Anything goes, from a shaved head or a mohawk, to long, flowing curls or stick-straight tresses.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Color your hair\", \"描述\": \"Choose a deep blue-black or go for a bolder color, like cherry red. Purple, green, and blue are also popular hair colors for goths. You can dye all your hair, add highlights, create an ombre effect, or only color the tips. Choose a color and style that makes you feel great, but be sure to ask your parents for permission, first!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add gothic hair accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Bandanas, headbands, chopsticks, barrettes, and clips can help keep your hair out of your face and also add interest to your style. Choose hair accessories in lace or leather, go for solid black, or pick a pattern like roses or skulls.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Living a Gothic Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research goth history.\", \"描述\": \"If you truly want to be goth, you should learn about the history and subculture of goths. Do an Internet search or go to the library and pick up a few books on the subject, like Hex Files: The Goth Bible by Mick Mercer. Find out more about goth icons, including musicians and film characters, like Alice Cooper, David Vanian, and Theda Bara.\\nGoth subculture emerged in the United Kingdom in the 1980s and was influenced by both punk rock and 19th Century gothic literature.\\nFind inspiration from goth TV and film characters, like Lydia Deetz, John Blaylock, Lily Munster, Donnie Darko, and Wednesday Addams.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to goth music.\", \"描述\": \"There are a lot of different genres, like gothic rock, deathrock, EBM, Darkwave, and new wave. Goth artists include Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, The Sisters of Mercy, and The Cure. Choose music that you enjoy listening to and can relate to. Don't feel like you have to stop listening to a band just because it's not goth—and don't listen to a band just because it is goth.\\nIt is for the most part universally agreed among goths that music is the determining factor. You don't need to only listen to goth music (or its sub-genres) but you must have at least some interest in it.\\nBegin with Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. This is the epitome of goth music.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read goth books.\", \"描述\": \"Search your local library catalog using a keyword like “goth” to get started. Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, Nevermore by Kelly Creagh, Poppy Z Brite’s Lost Souls, and Goth Girl Rising by Barry Lyga are good options. You can choose books about vampires and the undead, as well as those that explore ideas like mortality and darkness.\\nClassic and Romantic literature are very important. Most goths are culturally literate. Read Dracula by Bram Stoker, or maybe even a little Oscar Wilde.\\nTraditional gothic literature includes Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show your creativity.\", \"描述\": \"Gothics are generally creative people who have intense emotions. Express those emotions through art, like drawing, journaling, singing, painting, or dancing. You can also write poetry, stories, or songs. Use your creativity to enhance your wardrobe or come up with new makeup looks or hairstyles.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reject the status quo.\", \"描述\": \"Goths don’t follow trends or mainstream ideas, they are free thinkers that form their own opinions. Don’t go along with something just because other people are doing it—even if those people are your goth friends. Make your own decisions based on your personal preferences and values.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Attend gothic events.\", \"描述\": \"Join social media groups for gothic teens to find out about gothic events. You can also do an Internet search to find gothic festivals or clubs in your area. Here you can meet other gothic teens, learn more about the gothic subculture, and get ideas for your own hair, makeup, wardrobe, and lifestyle.\\nEven if you can’t find goth events in your area, you can still connect with other gothic teens through forums and goth groups online.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,783 | How to Be Graceful | 1. Looking Graceful
1-1. Be comfortable in your own skin.
People who are graceful are known to be in control of their bodies. They don’t tend to trip over their own feet or to let their limbs wildly flail, knocking over vases or cups of coffee. They carry themselves well and are comfortable in their own skin. If you want to be graceful, then you have to work on being aware of what your body is doing and where it is going at all times. This may sound easy to do, but you’d be surprised by how often people get distracted and don’t realize that they are invading another person’s space or sitting in an awkward position.
You don’t have to be a bodybuilder to be in control of your own body or to feel comfortable in your own skin. Still, working out, whether you’re running or rock climbing, helps improve your strength and stamina and lets you get in touch with your own body.
1-2. Maintain proper posture.
If you want to be graceful, then you have to stand up tall and proud and maintain a straight back even when you’re sitting. It can be tempting to slouch if you’re tired or just want to relax a bit, but if you get in the habit of having a straight back, you won’t even be bothered by having proper posture after a while. Even if the people you’re talking to tend to slouch, you shouldn’t follow suit just to mimic them. Work on standing tall and keeping your eyes straight ahead instead of looking at the ground if you’re walking and you’ll instantly look more graceful.
Having correct posture also helps you have confident body language. People who are graceful are also known to be confident because they’re proud of what they have to bring to the world. Slouching or curling up makes it look like you’re trying to hide, even if that’s not the case.
1-3. Breathe deeply and fully.
Not only does this look and feel better, but it also improves your cognitive functions. Be mindful about your breathing and feel aware of your body as you breathe in and out. If you feel yourself getting stressed or overwhelmed, make a point of taking deep breaths until you feel yourself calming down.
As you may know from yoga, breathing in and out, and focusing on your breathing, helps you be in touch with your body and can make you a more centered person. This is a must if you want to be graceful.
1-4. Improve your flexibility.
Having strong flexibility is part of having control over your body. You should make time for daily stretches so that you feel relaxed and not too tight throughout your day. This is especially important after you work out, or if you’re sitting at a desk all day and need to relax your back and neck a bit. Make time for stretches, even if you’re doing them in front of the TV, and you’ll be surprised by how much more graceful you feel.
Doing yoga can improve your flexibility tremendously. Take a beginner’s class and see what a difference just a few hours a week can make.
1-5. Dress gracefully.
Your clothes don’t define you, but they can help you look more graceful. The most important thing is that you wear clothes that are clean, stylish, and well-fitting, and which give you an elegant and put-together look. Your clothes don’t have to be expensive; instead, they should be tasteful, not too loud or bright, and flattering.
Don't wear clothing that restricts your movement in awkward ways. High heels may look graceful, for example, but they shouldn't be worn for long periods. Baggy oversized pants give you a weird shuffle that is not very graceful. Always wear clothes that make you feel confident and attractive, and style your hair accordingly.
Make sure that your clothes are free of wrinkles, and check them for stains after you eat.
It’s also not graceful to have a button popping open or to have your shirt halfway untucked, so do a clothes check every few hours.
If you want to go for a more elegant style, a simple black dress can do the trick. Also clothes in subtle colors, such as browns, pale pinks, or grays, can help you look more graceful.
To accessorize, just a pearl necklace, some simple stud earrings, or a silver bracelet can do the trick. You don’t want to overdo it with bulky accessories, which can keep you from looking graceful.
1-6. Wear makeup, if it suits you.
Not all people like to wear makeup. If you don't, then don’t feel the pressure to change. But if you do wear makeup, you should make sure your makeup is balanced so that it highlights one or two key features on your face that you really want to stand out. For example, you can wear bold eyeliner, but then you may not want to have super thick eyeshadow and heavy mascara as well. Just a bit of lipstick, blush, and eyeshadow and you should be good to go.
Make sure that your foundation matches your skin color.
Remember that not enough makeup is always better than too much.
If you wear concealer or blush, make sure that it’s fully blended.
1-7. Walk with purpose.
Keep your head up, your eyes forward, and walk at a natural brisk stride. People who are graceful don’t hunch over or shuffle their feet; they know where they’re going. If you look at the floor, you’ll look lost or like you’re not confident. Looking straight ahead will also make it more likely that you’ll be making eye contact with people, which will also make you look and feel more confident and graceful. Pick up your feet, take purposeful strides, and walk with confidence.
Of course, if you’re walking next to someone with a slower walking pace, then you should slow your pace down out of respect.
Jogging or running can help you improve both your form and stamina when walking.
1-8. Sit with grace.
When you sit, don't flop in a chair. Pull the chair out and sit down carefully. Though you don’t have to look like royalty sitting on a throne, you should avoid slouching and continue to sit with straight posture. Don’t lean back with your legs spread, and sit with your legs together or crossed at the ankles instead. When you sit down, make sure you do it with care, no matter how tired you are.
If you’re sitting on a bus or a train, try not to take up too much room. Being a space hog isn’t very graceful.
2. Behaving Gracefully
2-1. Maintain your composure.
People who are graceful aren’t often seen blowing up at people, saying things they regret, or hurling furniture through windows. They are composed and don’t let other people get to them and they know when to take a breather if they feel themselves getting angry. They aren’t seen ranting and raving or hurling insults at people, either. They tend to stay calm and to be a bastion of strength when others need them.
That said, graceful people aren’t perfect. If you blow up at someone, you have to give a sincere apology.
2-2. Speak well.
Graceful people tend to be articulate, to speak at the right volume, and to not speak too fast or too slow. They are clear and direct in their language, have a varied vocabulary, and make their thoughts clear. They also tend to avoid cursing or using too much slang. Though it’s okay to pause sometimes when you’re gathering your thoughts, graceful people don’t tend to stutter or say “uh” or “um” or “like” every other word. They have control over their words and they believe in what they say.
Part of speaking well means thinking before you speak. If you plan what you’re going to say before you say it, then you’ll be more likely not to have to backtrack and to be clear in your words.
In order to speak well, you should also have a mastery of proper grammar. For example, you shouldn’t say “Him and me went to the movies” when it’s really “He and I went to the movies,” and so on.
2-3. Take an acting class.
Graceful people are poised and confident, both verbally and non-verbally. Learn some good gestures and movements, and use them. You don’t have to be the next Jack Nicholson to take an acting class. You can just use it to learn how to carry yourself with more poise and grace. It can also help you build confidence and learn how to speak in front of an audience, which is something that people with grace naturally excel at.
You’ll also learn how to interact with a wider variety of people, which is also something that graceful people know how to do.
If an acting class isn’t up your alley, you can try taking a dance class or a ballet class. That can help with your poise, coordination, and composure as well.
2-4. Be polite.
Graceful people are polite. They don’t talk out of turn, they don’t offend people, and they don’t make off-color remarks, especially not in front of people they don’t know super well. They make a point of asking people how they are, of offering their seats to people who are standing, or just generally avoiding any vulgarities or unacceptable behavior. They are also considerate of others and make sure not to ask questions that are too personal or that make people uncomfortable.
Good manners are a big part of being polite, too. You need to not chew with your mouth open, hold doors for people, stand when you’re introduced to a new person, look people in the eye when you talk to them, wait your place in line, and generally demonstrate good intentions if you want to be graceful.
2-5. Avoid bragging.
It’s not very graceful to talk about how gorgeous, stylish, or accomplished you are. In fact, graceful people are very modest, and are proud of who they are without feeling the need to broadcast their achievements. You can talk about the things you love to do without making seem like you’re the best at it, and you can mention your hobbies or interests without mentioning your medals, prizes, or world records. Graceful people don’t seek validation from others and don’t need to show off to feel happy and fulfilled.
If you brag a lot, people will be less likely to hang out with you. You should feel grateful for all of the advantages you have in life instead of bragging about everything you’ve accomplished. Sure, you might have done a lot, but there’s no need to broadcast it if you want to handle your good luck and achievements with grace.
2-6. Have poise.
Graceful people are known for their poise. They carry themselves with dignity and make an effort to stand tall, to not stumble around, and to have confidence and purpose in their bearing. People with poise don’t often get lost, get in arguments with people, or lose their sense of focus. If you want to be graceful, then you have to have poise both physically and in your temperament. Having poise means being balanced in all aspects of the word.
People who have poise also maintain their poise in difficult situations. They don’t get flustered or fight back to people who are rude, vulgar, or mean.
3. Treating Others with Grace
3-1. Be considerate.
Graceful people are always considerate of others. They make an effort to really listen and care for people and to put themselves in their shoes. They often think about how other people are feeling and make an effort to make them feel better and make their days feel easier. They give up their seats to people who are tired. They check on friends who they know are going through a hard time. They don’t go around being loud and disruptive and make sure not to bother people in public. If you want to be graceful, then being considerate is key.
To be considerate, you need to practice empathy and to really think about what another person is thinking and going through. For example, if your friend just got dumped by her long-term boyfriend, then she may not be too thrilled to hear about your hot new date just yet.
3-2. Be respectful.
Graceful people are also known for being incredibly respectful to the people around them and they are always thoughtful in their actions. They don’t make offensive comments, they don’t step on other people’s toes, and they respect the privacy of others. They give credit where credit is due and they don’t interrupt people or insult them, to their face or behind their backs. Instead, they make a point of treating other people with the respect that they need and deserve.
People who are respectful don’t interrupt people when they are speaking. They don’t talk on the phone when they’re checking out at a counter. They don’t hog a four-person table at a cafe to themselves, either.
3-3. Be tactful.
Graceful people demonstrate tact in their daily interactions. They understand that it’s important to choose their timing and words carefully and know that it’s important to deliver important news in a kind and thoughtful way instead of piling on the insults. They know when to be discreet and when to deliver information in private. Tact is key when it comes to being graceful.
Tactful people don’t make comments that are likely to embarrass people. For example, if your friend just went through a breakup, you might not want to make a comment about it in front of a group of people.
3-4. Help other people.
If you want to be graceful, then you can’t put yourself first all of the time. Graceful people are often selfless and are happy to devote their time to helping others, whether they’re helping a friend finish an essay or volunteering at a soup kitchen on Sundays. You shouldn’t think that your time is so important that you can’t possibly take a few hours out of your week to listen to others, to share your things and time, or to just make the world a little bit better.
When you help people, you should do it out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in exchange.
3-5. Don’t hold grudges.
People who are graceful don’t waste their time stewing or being filled with bitterness and resentment. They learn to forgive people and to move forward, instead of letting anger dominate them. Though you shouldn’t let people walk all over you, you should accept that people make mistakes and that you should forgive them if they are genuinely sorry, within reason. Graceful people make allowances for other people and don’t waste their time getting caught up in petty feuds. Besides, holding a grudge will make you a more bitter, less happy person.
Along with not holding grudges, don’t gossip about the people you less-than-like, either. There’s no sense in spreading bad vibes, and it’ll probably get back to those people and will cause more drama.
3-6. Take criticism with grace.
One of the most challenging times to be graceful is when you’re facing criticism. Whether your boss is telling you to improve your negotiation skills or a friend is telling you that you need to stop being late to everything, you should learn to take criticism at face value, and to use it to improve, if it truly is constructive. Don’t be a bad sport or a sore loser, and understand that people won’t always be suffocating you with praise. It’s important to learn to take the bad along with the good and continue being graceful no matter what.
Of course, if people are just criticising you for the sake of being mean, then you should ignore it. But when people are truly trying to help you, you should be receptive to it so you can improve as a person.
Tips
Wear clean clothes. You don't need designer clothing; just have a sense of style and presentable clothes and hair.
Forget about how your body "should" be bigger, smaller, smoother, hairier, a different color, or whatever. It is what it is, and the truth is it's pretty cool. (The bodies you see in magazines usually aren't real anyway.)
You can sway or rock gently, but don't twitch or fidget.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Graceful\\n1-1. Be comfortable in your own skin.\\nPeople who are graceful are known to be in control of their bodies. They don’t tend to trip over their own feet or to let their limbs wildly flail, knocking over vases or cups of coffee. They carry themselves well and are comfortable in their own skin. If you want to be graceful, then you have to work on being aware of what your body is doing and where it is going at all times. This may sound easy to do, but you’d be surprised by how often people get distracted and don’t realize that they are invading another person’s space or sitting in an awkward position.\\nYou don’t have to be a bodybuilder to be in control of your own body or to feel comfortable in your own skin. Still, working out, whether you’re running or rock climbing, helps improve your strength and stamina and lets you get in touch with your own body.\\n1-2. Maintain proper posture.\\nIf you want to be graceful, then you have to stand up tall and proud and maintain a straight back even when you’re sitting. It can be tempting to slouch if you’re tired or just want to relax a bit, but if you get in the habit of having a straight back, you won’t even be bothered by having proper posture after a while. Even if the people you’re talking to tend to slouch, you shouldn’t follow suit just to mimic them. Work on standing tall and keeping your eyes straight ahead instead of looking at the ground if you’re walking and you’ll instantly look more graceful.\\nHaving correct posture also helps you have confident body language. People who are graceful are also known to be confident because they’re proud of what they have to bring to the world. Slouching or curling up makes it look like you’re trying to hide, even if that’s not the case.\\n1-3. Breathe deeply and fully.\\nNot only does this look and feel better, but it also improves your cognitive functions. Be mindful about your breathing and feel aware of your body as you breathe in and out. If you feel yourself getting stressed or overwhelmed, make a point of taking deep breaths until you feel yourself calming down.\\nAs you may know from yoga, breathing in and out, and focusing on your breathing, helps you be in touch with your body and can make you a more centered person. This is a must if you want to be graceful.\\n1-4. Improve your flexibility.\\nHaving strong flexibility is part of having control over your body. You should make time for daily stretches so that you feel relaxed and not too tight throughout your day. This is especially important after you work out, or if you’re sitting at a desk all day and need to relax your back and neck a bit. Make time for stretches, even if you’re doing them in front of the TV, and you’ll be surprised by how much more graceful you feel.\\nDoing yoga can improve your flexibility tremendously. Take a beginner’s class and see what a difference just a few hours a week can make.\\n1-5. Dress gracefully.\\nYour clothes don’t define you, but they can help you look more graceful. The most important thing is that you wear clothes that are clean, stylish, and well-fitting, and which give you an elegant and put-together look. Your clothes don’t have to be expensive; instead, they should be tasteful, not too loud or bright, and flattering.\\nDon't wear clothing that restricts your movement in awkward ways. High heels may look graceful, for example, but they shouldn't be worn for long periods. Baggy oversized pants give you a weird shuffle that is not very graceful. Always wear clothes that make you feel confident and attractive, and style your hair accordingly.\\nMake sure that your clothes are free of wrinkles, and check them for stains after you eat.\\nIt’s also not graceful to have a button popping open or to have your shirt halfway untucked, so do a clothes check every few hours.\\nIf you want to go for a more elegant style, a simple black dress can do the trick. Also clothes in subtle colors, such as browns, pale pinks, or grays, can help you look more graceful.\\nTo accessorize, just a pearl necklace, some simple stud earrings, or a silver bracelet can do the trick. You don’t want to overdo it with bulky accessories, which can keep you from looking graceful.\\n1-6. Wear makeup, if it suits you.\\nNot all people like to wear makeup. If you don't, then don’t feel the pressure to change. But if you do wear makeup, you should make sure your makeup is balanced so that it highlights one or two key features on your face that you really want to stand out. For example, you can wear bold eyeliner, but then you may not want to have super thick eyeshadow and heavy mascara as well. Just a bit of lipstick, blush, and eyeshadow and you should be good to go.\\nMake sure that your foundation matches your skin color.\\nRemember that not enough makeup is always better than too much.\\nIf you wear concealer or blush, make sure that it’s fully blended.\\n1-7. Walk with purpose.\\nKeep your head up, your eyes forward, and walk at a natural brisk stride. People who are graceful don’t hunch over or shuffle their feet; they know where they’re going. If you look at the floor, you’ll look lost or like you’re not confident. Looking straight ahead will also make it more likely that you’ll be making eye contact with people, which will also make you look and feel more confident and graceful. Pick up your feet, take purposeful strides, and walk with confidence.\\nOf course, if you’re walking next to someone with a slower walking pace, then you should slow your pace down out of respect.\\nJogging or running can help you improve both your form and stamina when walking.\\n1-8. Sit with grace.\\nWhen you sit, don't flop in a chair. Pull the chair out and sit down carefully. Though you don’t have to look like royalty sitting on a throne, you should avoid slouching and continue to sit with straight posture. Don’t lean back with your legs spread, and sit with your legs together or crossed at the ankles instead. When you sit down, make sure you do it with care, no matter how tired you are.\\nIf you’re sitting on a bus or a train, try not to take up too much room. Being a space hog isn’t very graceful.\\n2. Behaving Gracefully\\n2-1. Maintain your composure.\\nPeople who are graceful aren’t often seen blowing up at people, saying things they regret, or hurling furniture through windows. They are composed and don’t let other people get to them and they know when to take a breather if they feel themselves getting angry. They aren’t seen ranting and raving or hurling insults at people, either. They tend to stay calm and to be a bastion of strength when others need them.\\nThat said, graceful people aren’t perfect. If you blow up at someone, you have to give a sincere apology.\\n2-2. Speak well.\\nGraceful people tend to be articulate, to speak at the right volume, and to not speak too fast or too slow. They are clear and direct in their language, have a varied vocabulary, and make their thoughts clear. They also tend to avoid cursing or using too much slang. Though it’s okay to pause sometimes when you’re gathering your thoughts, graceful people don’t tend to stutter or say “uh” or “um” or “like” every other word. They have control over their words and they believe in what they say.\\nPart of speaking well means thinking before you speak. If you plan what you’re going to say before you say it, then you’ll be more likely not to have to backtrack and to be clear in your words.\\nIn order to speak well, you should also have a mastery of proper grammar. For example, you shouldn’t say “Him and me went to the movies” when it’s really “He and I went to the movies,” and so on.\\n2-3. Take an acting class.\\nGraceful people are poised and confident, both verbally and non-verbally. Learn some good gestures and movements, and use them. You don’t have to be the next Jack Nicholson to take an acting class. You can just use it to learn how to carry yourself with more poise and grace. It can also help you build confidence and learn how to speak in front of an audience, which is something that people with grace naturally excel at.\\nYou’ll also learn how to interact with a wider variety of people, which is also something that graceful people know how to do.\\nIf an acting class isn’t up your alley, you can try taking a dance class or a ballet class. That can help with your poise, coordination, and composure as well.\\n2-4. Be polite.\\nGraceful people are polite. They don’t talk out of turn, they don’t offend people, and they don’t make off-color remarks, especially not in front of people they don’t know super well. They make a point of asking people how they are, of offering their seats to people who are standing, or just generally avoiding any vulgarities or unacceptable behavior. They are also considerate of others and make sure not to ask questions that are too personal or that make people uncomfortable.\\nGood manners are a big part of being polite, too. You need to not chew with your mouth open, hold doors for people, stand when you’re introduced to a new person, look people in the eye when you talk to them, wait your place in line, and generally demonstrate good intentions if you want to be graceful.\\n2-5. Avoid bragging.\\nIt’s not very graceful to talk about how gorgeous, stylish, or accomplished you are. In fact, graceful people are very modest, and are proud of who they are without feeling the need to broadcast their achievements. You can talk about the things you love to do without making seem like you’re the best at it, and you can mention your hobbies or interests without mentioning your medals, prizes, or world records. Graceful people don’t seek validation from others and don’t need to show off to feel happy and fulfilled.\\nIf you brag a lot, people will be less likely to hang out with you. You should feel grateful for all of the advantages you have in life instead of bragging about everything you’ve accomplished. Sure, you might have done a lot, but there’s no need to broadcast it if you want to handle your good luck and achievements with grace.\\n2-6. Have poise.\\nGraceful people are known for their poise. They carry themselves with dignity and make an effort to stand tall, to not stumble around, and to have confidence and purpose in their bearing. People with poise don’t often get lost, get in arguments with people, or lose their sense of focus. If you want to be graceful, then you have to have poise both physically and in your temperament. Having poise means being balanced in all aspects of the word.\\nPeople who have poise also maintain their poise in difficult situations. They don’t get flustered or fight back to people who are rude, vulgar, or mean.\\n3. Treating Others with Grace\\n3-1. Be considerate.\\nGraceful people are always considerate of others. They make an effort to really listen and care for people and to put themselves in their shoes. They often think about how other people are feeling and make an effort to make them feel better and make their days feel easier. They give up their seats to people who are tired. They check on friends who they know are going through a hard time. They don’t go around being loud and disruptive and make sure not to bother people in public. If you want to be graceful, then being considerate is key.\\nTo be considerate, you need to practice empathy and to really think about what another person is thinking and going through. For example, if your friend just got dumped by her long-term boyfriend, then she may not be too thrilled to hear about your hot new date just yet.\\n3-2. Be respectful.\\nGraceful people are also known for being incredibly respectful to the people around them and they are always thoughtful in their actions. They don’t make offensive comments, they don’t step on other people’s toes, and they respect the privacy of others. They give credit where credit is due and they don’t interrupt people or insult them, to their face or behind their backs. Instead, they make a point of treating other people with the respect that they need and deserve.\\nPeople who are respectful don’t interrupt people when they are speaking. They don’t talk on the phone when they’re checking out at a counter. They don’t hog a four-person table at a cafe to themselves, either.\\n3-3. Be tactful.\\nGraceful people demonstrate tact in their daily interactions. They understand that it’s important to choose their timing and words carefully and know that it’s important to deliver important news in a kind and thoughtful way instead of piling on the insults. They know when to be discreet and when to deliver information in private. Tact is key when it comes to being graceful.\\nTactful people don’t make comments that are likely to embarrass people. For example, if your friend just went through a breakup, you might not want to make a comment about it in front of a group of people.\\n3-4. Help other people.\\nIf you want to be graceful, then you can’t put yourself first all of the time. Graceful people are often selfless and are happy to devote their time to helping others, whether they’re helping a friend finish an essay or volunteering at a soup kitchen on Sundays. You shouldn’t think that your time is so important that you can’t possibly take a few hours out of your week to listen to others, to share your things and time, or to just make the world a little bit better.\\nWhen you help people, you should do it out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in exchange.\\n3-5. Don’t hold grudges.\\nPeople who are graceful don’t waste their time stewing or being filled with bitterness and resentment. They learn to forgive people and to move forward, instead of letting anger dominate them. Though you shouldn’t let people walk all over you, you should accept that people make mistakes and that you should forgive them if they are genuinely sorry, within reason. Graceful people make allowances for other people and don’t waste their time getting caught up in petty feuds. Besides, holding a grudge will make you a more bitter, less happy person.\\nAlong with not holding grudges, don’t gossip about the people you less-than-like, either. There’s no sense in spreading bad vibes, and it’ll probably get back to those people and will cause more drama.\\n3-6. Take criticism with grace.\\nOne of the most challenging times to be graceful is when you’re facing criticism. Whether your boss is telling you to improve your negotiation skills or a friend is telling you that you need to stop being late to everything, you should learn to take criticism at face value, and to use it to improve, if it truly is constructive. Don’t be a bad sport or a sore loser, and understand that people won’t always be suffocating you with praise. It’s important to learn to take the bad along with the good and continue being graceful no matter what.\\nOf course, if people are just criticising you for the sake of being mean, then you should ignore it. But when people are truly trying to help you, you should be receptive to it so you can improve as a person.\\nTips\\nWear clean clothes. You don't need designer clothing; just have a sense of style and presentable clothes and hair.\\nForget about how your body \\\"should\\\" be bigger, smaller, smoother, hairier, a different color, or whatever. It is what it is, and the truth is it's pretty cool. (The bodies you see in magazines usually aren't real anyway.)\\nYou can sway or rock gently, but don't twitch or fidget.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being graceful is about more than just not tripping over yourself. It’s not only a way of carrying your body, but of maintaining control over your actions as well as your thoughts. People who are graceful are naturally elegant without being aloof, and they care for other people and treat them with respect. Even if you’re famous for walking into doors, you too can be graceful with a bit of hard work.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Graceful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be comfortable in your own skin.\", \"描述\": \"People who are graceful are known to be in control of their bodies. They don’t tend to trip over their own feet or to let their limbs wildly flail, knocking over vases or cups of coffee. They carry themselves well and are comfortable in their own skin. If you want to be graceful, then you have to work on being aware of what your body is doing and where it is going at all times. This may sound easy to do, but you’d be surprised by how often people get distracted and don’t realize that they are invading another person’s space or sitting in an awkward position.\\nYou don’t have to be a bodybuilder to be in control of your own body or to feel comfortable in your own skin. Still, working out, whether you’re running or rock climbing, helps improve your strength and stamina and lets you get in touch with your own body.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain proper posture.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be graceful, then you have to stand up tall and proud and maintain a straight back even when you’re sitting. It can be tempting to slouch if you’re tired or just want to relax a bit, but if you get in the habit of having a straight back, you won’t even be bothered by having proper posture after a while. Even if the people you’re talking to tend to slouch, you shouldn’t follow suit just to mimic them. Work on standing tall and keeping your eyes straight ahead instead of looking at the ground if you’re walking and you’ll instantly look more graceful.\\nHaving correct posture also helps you have confident body language. People who are graceful are also known to be confident because they’re proud of what they have to bring to the world. Slouching or curling up makes it look like you’re trying to hide, even if that’s not the case.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Breathe deeply and fully.\", \"描述\": \"Not only does this look and feel better, but it also improves your cognitive functions. Be mindful about your breathing and feel aware of your body as you breathe in and out. If you feel yourself getting stressed or overwhelmed, make a point of taking deep breaths until you feel yourself calming down.\\nAs you may know from yoga, breathing in and out, and focusing on your breathing, helps you be in touch with your body and can make you a more centered person. This is a must if you want to be graceful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Improve your flexibility.\", \"描述\": \"Having strong flexibility is part of having control over your body. You should make time for daily stretches so that you feel relaxed and not too tight throughout your day. This is especially important after you work out, or if you’re sitting at a desk all day and need to relax your back and neck a bit. Make time for stretches, even if you’re doing them in front of the TV, and you’ll be surprised by how much more graceful you feel.\\nDoing yoga can improve your flexibility tremendously. Take a beginner’s class and see what a difference just a few hours a week can make.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dress gracefully.\", \"描述\": \"Your clothes don’t define you, but they can help you look more graceful. The most important thing is that you wear clothes that are clean, stylish, and well-fitting, and which give you an elegant and put-together look. Your clothes don’t have to be expensive; instead, they should be tasteful, not too loud or bright, and flattering.\\nDon't wear clothing that restricts your movement in awkward ways. High heels may look graceful, for example, but they shouldn't be worn for long periods. Baggy oversized pants give you a weird shuffle that is not very graceful. Always wear clothes that make you feel confident and attractive, and style your hair accordingly.\\nMake sure that your clothes are free of wrinkles, and check them for stains after you eat.\\nIt’s also not graceful to have a button popping open or to have your shirt halfway untucked, so do a clothes check every few hours.\\nIf you want to go for a more elegant style, a simple black dress can do the trick. Also clothes in subtle colors, such as browns, pale pinks, or grays, can help you look more graceful.\\nTo accessorize, just a pearl necklace, some simple stud earrings, or a silver bracelet can do the trick. You don’t want to overdo it with bulky accessories, which can keep you from looking graceful.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wear makeup, if it suits you.\", \"描述\": \"Not all people like to wear makeup. If you don't, then don’t feel the pressure to change. But if you do wear makeup, you should make sure your makeup is balanced so that it highlights one or two key features on your face that you really want to stand out. For example, you can wear bold eyeliner, but then you may not want to have super thick eyeshadow and heavy mascara as well. Just a bit of lipstick, blush, and eyeshadow and you should be good to go.\\nMake sure that your foundation matches your skin color.\\nRemember that not enough makeup is always better than too much.\\nIf you wear concealer or blush, make sure that it’s fully blended.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Walk with purpose.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your head up, your eyes forward, and walk at a natural brisk stride. People who are graceful don’t hunch over or shuffle their feet; they know where they’re going. If you look at the floor, you’ll look lost or like you’re not confident. Looking straight ahead will also make it more likely that you’ll be making eye contact with people, which will also make you look and feel more confident and graceful. Pick up your feet, take purposeful strides, and walk with confidence.\\nOf course, if you’re walking next to someone with a slower walking pace, then you should slow your pace down out of respect.\\nJogging or running can help you improve both your form and stamina when walking.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sit with grace.\", \"描述\": \"When you sit, don't flop in a chair. Pull the chair out and sit down carefully. Though you don’t have to look like royalty sitting on a throne, you should avoid slouching and continue to sit with straight posture. Don’t lean back with your legs spread, and sit with your legs together or crossed at the ankles instead. When you sit down, make sure you do it with care, no matter how tired you are.\\nIf you’re sitting on a bus or a train, try not to take up too much room. Being a space hog isn’t very graceful.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Behaving Gracefully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain your composure.\", \"描述\": \"People who are graceful aren’t often seen blowing up at people, saying things they regret, or hurling furniture through windows. They are composed and don’t let other people get to them and they know when to take a breather if they feel themselves getting angry. They aren’t seen ranting and raving or hurling insults at people, either. They tend to stay calm and to be a bastion of strength when others need them.\\nThat said, graceful people aren’t perfect. If you blow up at someone, you have to give a sincere apology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak well.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people tend to be articulate, to speak at the right volume, and to not speak too fast or too slow. They are clear and direct in their language, have a varied vocabulary, and make their thoughts clear. They also tend to avoid cursing or using too much slang. Though it’s okay to pause sometimes when you’re gathering your thoughts, graceful people don’t tend to stutter or say “uh” or “um” or “like” every other word. They have control over their words and they believe in what they say.\\nPart of speaking well means thinking before you speak. If you plan what you’re going to say before you say it, then you’ll be more likely not to have to backtrack and to be clear in your words.\\nIn order to speak well, you should also have a mastery of proper grammar. For example, you shouldn’t say “Him and me went to the movies” when it’s really “He and I went to the movies,” and so on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take an acting class.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people are poised and confident, both verbally and non-verbally. Learn some good gestures and movements, and use them. You don’t have to be the next Jack Nicholson to take an acting class. You can just use it to learn how to carry yourself with more poise and grace. It can also help you build confidence and learn how to speak in front of an audience, which is something that people with grace naturally excel at.\\nYou’ll also learn how to interact with a wider variety of people, which is also something that graceful people know how to do.\\nIf an acting class isn’t up your alley, you can try taking a dance class or a ballet class. That can help with your poise, coordination, and composure as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people are polite. They don’t talk out of turn, they don’t offend people, and they don’t make off-color remarks, especially not in front of people they don’t know super well. They make a point of asking people how they are, of offering their seats to people who are standing, or just generally avoiding any vulgarities or unacceptable behavior. They are also considerate of others and make sure not to ask questions that are too personal or that make people uncomfortable.\\nGood manners are a big part of being polite, too. You need to not chew with your mouth open, hold doors for people, stand when you’re introduced to a new person, look people in the eye when you talk to them, wait your place in line, and generally demonstrate good intentions if you want to be graceful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid bragging.\", \"描述\": \"It’s not very graceful to talk about how gorgeous, stylish, or accomplished you are. In fact, graceful people are very modest, and are proud of who they are without feeling the need to broadcast their achievements. You can talk about the things you love to do without making seem like you’re the best at it, and you can mention your hobbies or interests without mentioning your medals, prizes, or world records. Graceful people don’t seek validation from others and don’t need to show off to feel happy and fulfilled.\\nIf you brag a lot, people will be less likely to hang out with you. You should feel grateful for all of the advantages you have in life instead of bragging about everything you’ve accomplished. Sure, you might have done a lot, but there’s no need to broadcast it if you want to handle your good luck and achievements with grace.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have poise.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people are known for their poise. They carry themselves with dignity and make an effort to stand tall, to not stumble around, and to have confidence and purpose in their bearing. People with poise don’t often get lost, get in arguments with people, or lose their sense of focus. If you want to be graceful, then you have to have poise both physically and in your temperament. Having poise means being balanced in all aspects of the word.\\nPeople who have poise also maintain their poise in difficult situations. They don’t get flustered or fight back to people who are rude, vulgar, or mean.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treating Others with Grace\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be considerate.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people are always considerate of others. They make an effort to really listen and care for people and to put themselves in their shoes. They often think about how other people are feeling and make an effort to make them feel better and make their days feel easier. They give up their seats to people who are tired. They check on friends who they know are going through a hard time. They don’t go around being loud and disruptive and make sure not to bother people in public. If you want to be graceful, then being considerate is key.\\nTo be considerate, you need to practice empathy and to really think about what another person is thinking and going through. For example, if your friend just got dumped by her long-term boyfriend, then she may not be too thrilled to hear about your hot new date just yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people are also known for being incredibly respectful to the people around them and they are always thoughtful in their actions. They don’t make offensive comments, they don’t step on other people’s toes, and they respect the privacy of others. They give credit where credit is due and they don’t interrupt people or insult them, to their face or behind their backs. Instead, they make a point of treating other people with the respect that they need and deserve.\\nPeople who are respectful don’t interrupt people when they are speaking. They don’t talk on the phone when they’re checking out at a counter. They don’t hog a four-person table at a cafe to themselves, either.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be tactful.\", \"描述\": \"Graceful people demonstrate tact in their daily interactions. They understand that it’s important to choose their timing and words carefully and know that it’s important to deliver important news in a kind and thoughtful way instead of piling on the insults. They know when to be discreet and when to deliver information in private. Tact is key when it comes to being graceful.\\nTactful people don’t make comments that are likely to embarrass people. For example, if your friend just went through a breakup, you might not want to make a comment about it in front of a group of people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help other people.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be graceful, then you can’t put yourself first all of the time. Graceful people are often selfless and are happy to devote their time to helping others, whether they’re helping a friend finish an essay or volunteering at a soup kitchen on Sundays. You shouldn’t think that your time is so important that you can’t possibly take a few hours out of your week to listen to others, to share your things and time, or to just make the world a little bit better.\\nWhen you help people, you should do it out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in exchange.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t hold grudges.\", \"描述\": \"People who are graceful don’t waste their time stewing or being filled with bitterness and resentment. They learn to forgive people and to move forward, instead of letting anger dominate them. Though you shouldn’t let people walk all over you, you should accept that people make mistakes and that you should forgive them if they are genuinely sorry, within reason. Graceful people make allowances for other people and don’t waste their time getting caught up in petty feuds. Besides, holding a grudge will make you a more bitter, less happy person.\\nAlong with not holding grudges, don’t gossip about the people you less-than-like, either. There’s no sense in spreading bad vibes, and it’ll probably get back to those people and will cause more drama.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take criticism with grace.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most challenging times to be graceful is when you’re facing criticism. Whether your boss is telling you to improve your negotiation skills or a friend is telling you that you need to stop being late to everything, you should learn to take criticism at face value, and to use it to improve, if it truly is constructive. Don’t be a bad sport or a sore loser, and understand that people won’t always be suffocating you with praise. It’s important to learn to take the bad along with the good and continue being graceful no matter what.\\nOf course, if people are just criticising you for the sake of being mean, then you should ignore it. But when people are truly trying to help you, you should be receptive to it so you can improve as a person.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Wear clean clothes. You don't need designer clothing; just have a sense of style and presentable clothes and hair.\\n\", \"Forget about how your body \\\"should\\\" be bigger, smaller, smoother, hairier, a different color, or whatever. It is what it is, and the truth is it's pretty cool. (The bodies you see in magazines usually aren't real anyway.)\\n\", \"You can sway or rock gently, but don't twitch or fidget.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,784 | How to Be Grateful | 1. Altering Your Perspective
1-1. Make a gratitude list every Sunday.
You don’t have to hold off on noting everything you’re thankful for until Thanksgiving. Every Sunday, get a notebook and sit outside for fifteen minutes while making a list of all of the things that you’re thankful for. Try to think of as many new things as you can, and always generate at least ten things, whether they are big or small. You can write, My mother’s endless love or The painting my roommate made for me.
Challenge yourself. Think of at least fifteen new things you’re grateful for every week.
Writing down the things that you’re grateful for will make you appreciate them even more.
1-2. Be grateful for your friendships.
Many people are guilty of taking their friends for granted. You may come to think that your friends are kind of just there, like the couch in your living room or the tree on your front lawn. But that is not the case, dear reader. If you take your friends for granted for too long, then they will slowly make their way out of your life. So, every time you go hang out with one of your friends, think about how much this person means to you, how much he or she’s done for you, and how lucky you are to have this person in your life.
Sure, nobody’s perfect, and one of your friends might have disappointed you a time or two. But have you been a flawless friend yourself? Most likely not.
1-3. Be grateful for your family.
Your family is another thing you should be grateful for. Your parents might have even been the people to tell you that you should be more grateful. So, take the time to tell your family how much they mean to you, to help out around the house, to call or write letters if you’re not living near each other, and to let the people who raised and grew up with you know how much they mean to you.
Don’t let a day go by without telling your family how much you love them.
If you were not raised by a family that treated you well, then this is something you will have to accept eventually. Though it is completely not fair, if you want to work on being more grateful, you have to focus on the people who were a part of your support system, not the people who were absent from it.
1-4. Be grateful for all of the good deeds done in your benefit.
Throughout history, imagine how many people have contributed to where you are now through unnoticed hard work and selflessness. Realizing that you couldn't be where you are now if it weren't for all of these people is an important step in being a grateful person.
Some of these people have never revealed their identity. For example, people who write Wikipedia articles. For this reason, you never know much a stranger or a friend really may be helping you. Sometimes the most moral person can also be the most humble.
1-5. Be grateful for your health.
Health is another thing people often take for granted, and it’s something you need to think about the next time you find yourself whining or complaining. Sure, you might have lost your cell phone or gotten into a fight with your best friend, and those things suck, but you will get over them and fix them pretty easily. What can’t be fixed so easily is a debilitating physical condition that can change the course of your life; so, the next time you feel like the world hates you, be happy that you have a healthy working body.
Be grateful for the air in your lungs, the clearness in your head, and the spring in your step. There are many people who are not so lucky, and who manage to be grateful anyway.
You will have a better sense of gratitude after you have your first health scare and then realize that everything is all right. But hopefully it won’t have to come to this.
1-6. Be grateful for your opportunities.
Be thankful for all of the things you are able to do. This can mean going to school, going to work, having the luxury of spending a night out with friends, or the ability to afford that new jacket you had your eye on. This could mean the chance to travel or to study something that fascinates you even if it isn’t all that practical. Chances are, there are plenty of things you are able to do that others couldn’t even dream of doing, so make sure to be thankful for all of the opportunities that you are given.
Sure, other people may have been given even more opportunities than you, but that doesn’t mean that you should dwell in bitterness or jealousy.
1-7. Be grateful for nature.
There is nature all around you, even if you’re living in the heart of a big city. Go out into a public park or walk around a lake, and be grateful for all of the beauty around you. Taking twenty minutes a day to walk around your neighborhood can make you even more grateful for all of the opportunities you have been given.
Even if it’s a rainy, gloomy day, you can be grateful for the comforting sound of the rain.
1-8. Look for the silver lining.
If you want to be a grateful person, then you have to learn to see the positive aspect of any situation. Stop all of the whining and complaining and think of the things that do make you happy, not the things that are getting in the way of you and happiness. If you want to be grateful, then you should conquer your negative thoughts by thinking three positive thoughts for every one negative thought.
Put things in perspective. You may be upset because you failed a math test, but you’re not suffering from financial ruin. Remember that there are always people whose problems are much bigger than yours, and focus on being positive and happy about the things you do have.
1-9. Stop playing the victim.
People who are ungrateful are always blaming the world for their problems and thinking that nothing bad that happens is their fault. If you want to be a grateful person, then you have to stop thinking that the world, your teachers, your boss, your friends, or your family are all out to get you, and focus on all of the ways that the world is helping you make your life easier.
Take control of your life. Stop thinking that you’re a victim of bad circumstances and focus on all of the things in your life that anyone would agree are actually good circumstances.
2. Changing Your Interactions
2-1. Say “thank you” to strangers.
When it’s warranted, that is. Thank the girl who gives you your coffee at six in the morning; she’s probably tired and in need of a kind word. Thank your server or the check-out guy at your local grocery store. Thank the man at the restaurant for holding the door for you. Thank the cab driver for giving you a smooth ride home.
Not only is it polite to say thank you to people, but it will also put you in a more grateful mindset.
2-2. Tell your loved ones how thankful you are.
Saying thank you to strangers may be easier than saying thank you to the people you love the most. If you want to be a grateful person, though, then you should thank your friends and family whenever they help you out, or just because; you can just thank them for being there for you for all of these years and let them know how much their continued love and support means to you.
You may not like feeling vulnerable, but it won’t be so bad once you get used to thanking the people you really love.
2-3. Write “thank you” cards.
Don’t reserve “thank you” cards just for your boss or secretary; instead, make a habit of sending these puppies out whenever someone has really helped you out. Maybe it was a friend you lost touch with who let you crash at her place for three nights in a row when you ended up in her neighborhood. Maybe it was a classmate who spent hours explaining electron configuration to you. Sending the card along will show how grateful you are.
Whatever the kind deed, writing a thank you card will not only make the other person smile, but it will make you a more grateful person because you’ll have to put your gratitude into words.
2-4. Take pleasure in doing favors for your friends.
Ungrateful people are also known to be selfish, and to only want to hang out with other people if they can “get” something from them. So, turn that on its head and offer to do some favors for your friends unasked. Maybe your friend is having a busy day and needs someone to pick up lunch for her; maybe your friend needs help picking out a prom dress. Whatever the task, own up to it, and you will feel gratitude when you are helped in return.
Doing other favors for people will make you a less selfish person and will make you more grateful when the time comes.
2-5. Stop complaining on Facebook.
This one is simple. Don’t go on Facebook and tell your 500 closest friends about the terrible day you had, about the horrible traffic you were stuck in for 25 minutes, or about how you lost your cell phone for the third time. Don’t rant about “haters” who make your life hard and don’t complain about how some people are fake and only use you. Don’t use Facebook as a forum for your negativity at all.
Ranting on Facebook and getting people to support your rants with comments and likes will only fuel the fire and inspire more ungrateful behavior.
If you really feel the need to share something personal with all of your Facebook friends, try to make it something positive.
2-6. Be nice to your elders.
Stop thinking that visiting your grandmother or grandfather is nothing but a chore. Be grateful for your elders and the insight they can offer and know that they won’t be around forever. Get your precious time with your grandparents while you can, if you’re lucky enough to have them. If not, be kind to any older members of your family and let them see how much you appreciate their wisdom and love.
You’ll be old too one day, buddy. Will you want a grandchild who is counting down the minutes until he can join his friends at the mall?
2-7. Avoid jealousy like the plague.
Jealously is a classic trait of ungrateful people. If you’re ungrateful, then you must be comparing yourself to other people all the time, wishing you were someone else, and turning green wishing that you had the boyfriend, car, wardrobe, or looks of one of your friends or even of a perfect stranger. If you want to be grateful, then you have to stop playing the comparing game ASAP, or you will never be happy with what you have.
Remember that it’s impossible to really compare yourself to someone else without knowing the whole story. Sure, you may wish you had as much money as your best friend, but she may wish that her parents loved each other as much as yours do.
3. Practicing Gratitude
3-1. Volunteer.
Volunteering in your community is another way to show how grateful you are for all of the things that the world has given you. Whether you’re helping clean up a local park, working in a soup kitchen, or teaching children and adults in your community to learn to read, you will become a more grateful person if you give your time to people who are less fortunate and appreciate all that ‘’they’’ have to offer ‘’you.’’
If you really like volunteering, you can even take a volunteer trip to another country. This will really change your perspective and will make you even more grateful.
3-2. Commune with nature.
That’s right. Just going out in the park and sitting in the sun can help you appreciate all that you have in life. Whether you go swimming, meditate in a park, go hiking, or climb a mountain, communing with nature will make you see how impermanent your life is and how much you should appreciate all of the little things that life does have to offer you.
The more time you spend outside instead of being cooped up inside your home, the more grateful you will feel.
3-3. Do yoga.
Yoga is the practice of gratitude. While you’re practicing those arm balances and doing those vinyasas, you will really be working on finding a connection between your mind and body that allows you to appreciate every breath, every movement, and every person around you. Yoga will remind you that the world has what you need and that you have what the world wants.
Making a weekly yoga habit will help you appreciate the small stuff and not feel like you’re not getting enough out of life.
Yoga is all about being generous and offering up what you have to the world. This is guaranteed to make you less selfish and more grateful.
3-4. Perform a random act of kindness.
You shouldn’t always save your acts of kindness for your close friends or family members. Help a neighbor look for a lost dog. Help the girl in the coffee shop who spilled coffee all over herself clean up. Help an old woman carry her groceries. Sometimes these opportunities will present themselves—you don’t have to come looking for them. And when they do come, it’s best to act with generosity and you’ll be more grateful for your part in the world.
Make a goal of doing at least one random act of kindness per month. Try to get this down to per week. Think you can do one a day? You’ll never know until you try.
3-5. Give your friend a thoughtful gift just because.
Giving a gift is a great way of practicing gratitude. You don’t have to wait for your friend’s birthday to give her a gift if you really want her to know how much she means to you. If you see a cute picture frame at a craft fair, stick a picture of you two in it and give it to her; if you see the perfect accessory for your friend, pick up it and hand it to her in a small gift bag. It’s not the price that counts—it’s the thought.
Getting in a habit of giving gifts to your friends just because you thought of them and want them to feel special is a great way to be a more grateful person.
Tips
Thank everyone around you for simple things, (but not too much or else it gets annoying) to show your gratitude.
Try not to waste food during mealtimes.
Don't complain about things that you take for granted e.g. school, over protective parents etc.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Altering Your Perspective\\n1-1. Make a gratitude list every Sunday.\\nYou don’t have to hold off on noting everything you’re thankful for until Thanksgiving. Every Sunday, get a notebook and sit outside for fifteen minutes while making a list of all of the things that you’re thankful for. Try to think of as many new things as you can, and always generate at least ten things, whether they are big or small. You can write, My mother’s endless love or The painting my roommate made for me.\\nChallenge yourself. Think of at least fifteen new things you’re grateful for every week.\\nWriting down the things that you’re grateful for will make you appreciate them even more.\\n1-2. Be grateful for your friendships.\\nMany people are guilty of taking their friends for granted. You may come to think that your friends are kind of just there, like the couch in your living room or the tree on your front lawn. But that is not the case, dear reader. If you take your friends for granted for too long, then they will slowly make their way out of your life. So, every time you go hang out with one of your friends, think about how much this person means to you, how much he or she’s done for you, and how lucky you are to have this person in your life.\\nSure, nobody’s perfect, and one of your friends might have disappointed you a time or two. But have you been a flawless friend yourself? Most likely not.\\n1-3. Be grateful for your family.\\nYour family is another thing you should be grateful for. Your parents might have even been the people to tell you that you should be more grateful. So, take the time to tell your family how much they mean to you, to help out around the house, to call or write letters if you’re not living near each other, and to let the people who raised and grew up with you know how much they mean to you.\\nDon’t let a day go by without telling your family how much you love them.\\nIf you were not raised by a family that treated you well, then this is something you will have to accept eventually. Though it is completely not fair, if you want to work on being more grateful, you have to focus on the people who were a part of your support system, not the people who were absent from it.\\n1-4. Be grateful for all of the good deeds done in your benefit.\\nThroughout history, imagine how many people have contributed to where you are now through unnoticed hard work and selflessness. Realizing that you couldn't be where you are now if it weren't for all of these people is an important step in being a grateful person.\\nSome of these people have never revealed their identity. For example, people who write Wikipedia articles. For this reason, you never know much a stranger or a friend really may be helping you. Sometimes the most moral person can also be the most humble.\\n1-5. Be grateful for your health.\\nHealth is another thing people often take for granted, and it’s something you need to think about the next time you find yourself whining or complaining. Sure, you might have lost your cell phone or gotten into a fight with your best friend, and those things suck, but you will get over them and fix them pretty easily. What can’t be fixed so easily is a debilitating physical condition that can change the course of your life; so, the next time you feel like the world hates you, be happy that you have a healthy working body.\\nBe grateful for the air in your lungs, the clearness in your head, and the spring in your step. There are many people who are not so lucky, and who manage to be grateful anyway.\\nYou will have a better sense of gratitude after you have your first health scare and then realize that everything is all right. But hopefully it won’t have to come to this.\\n1-6. Be grateful for your opportunities.\\nBe thankful for all of the things you are able to do. This can mean going to school, going to work, having the luxury of spending a night out with friends, or the ability to afford that new jacket you had your eye on. This could mean the chance to travel or to study something that fascinates you even if it isn’t all that practical. Chances are, there are plenty of things you are able to do that others couldn’t even dream of doing, so make sure to be thankful for all of the opportunities that you are given.\\nSure, other people may have been given even more opportunities than you, but that doesn’t mean that you should dwell in bitterness or jealousy.\\n1-7. Be grateful for nature.\\nThere is nature all around you, even if you’re living in the heart of a big city. Go out into a public park or walk around a lake, and be grateful for all of the beauty around you. Taking twenty minutes a day to walk around your neighborhood can make you even more grateful for all of the opportunities you have been given.\\nEven if it’s a rainy, gloomy day, you can be grateful for the comforting sound of the rain.\\n1-8. Look for the silver lining.\\nIf you want to be a grateful person, then you have to learn to see the positive aspect of any situation. Stop all of the whining and complaining and think of the things that do make you happy, not the things that are getting in the way of you and happiness. If you want to be grateful, then you should conquer your negative thoughts by thinking three positive thoughts for every one negative thought. \\nPut things in perspective. You may be upset because you failed a math test, but you’re not suffering from financial ruin. Remember that there are always people whose problems are much bigger than yours, and focus on being positive and happy about the things you do have.\\n1-9. Stop playing the victim.\\nPeople who are ungrateful are always blaming the world for their problems and thinking that nothing bad that happens is their fault. If you want to be a grateful person, then you have to stop thinking that the world, your teachers, your boss, your friends, or your family are all out to get you, and focus on all of the ways that the world is helping you make your life easier.\\nTake control of your life. Stop thinking that you’re a victim of bad circumstances and focus on all of the things in your life that anyone would agree are actually good circumstances.\\n2. Changing Your Interactions\\n2-1. Say “thank you” to strangers.\\nWhen it’s warranted, that is. Thank the girl who gives you your coffee at six in the morning; she’s probably tired and in need of a kind word. Thank your server or the check-out guy at your local grocery store. Thank the man at the restaurant for holding the door for you. Thank the cab driver for giving you a smooth ride home.\\nNot only is it polite to say thank you to people, but it will also put you in a more grateful mindset.\\n2-2. Tell your loved ones how thankful you are.\\nSaying thank you to strangers may be easier than saying thank you to the people you love the most. If you want to be a grateful person, though, then you should thank your friends and family whenever they help you out, or just because; you can just thank them for being there for you for all of these years and let them know how much their continued love and support means to you.\\nYou may not like feeling vulnerable, but it won’t be so bad once you get used to thanking the people you really love.\\n2-3. Write “thank you” cards.\\nDon’t reserve “thank you” cards just for your boss or secretary; instead, make a habit of sending these puppies out whenever someone has really helped you out. Maybe it was a friend you lost touch with who let you crash at her place for three nights in a row when you ended up in her neighborhood. Maybe it was a classmate who spent hours explaining electron configuration to you. Sending the card along will show how grateful you are.\\nWhatever the kind deed, writing a thank you card will not only make the other person smile, but it will make you a more grateful person because you’ll have to put your gratitude into words.\\n2-4. Take pleasure in doing favors for your friends.\\nUngrateful people are also known to be selfish, and to only want to hang out with other people if they can “get” something from them. So, turn that on its head and offer to do some favors for your friends unasked. Maybe your friend is having a busy day and needs someone to pick up lunch for her; maybe your friend needs help picking out a prom dress. Whatever the task, own up to it, and you will feel gratitude when you are helped in return.\\nDoing other favors for people will make you a less selfish person and will make you more grateful when the time comes.\\n2-5. Stop complaining on Facebook.\\nThis one is simple. Don’t go on Facebook and tell your 500 closest friends about the terrible day you had, about the horrible traffic you were stuck in for 25 minutes, or about how you lost your cell phone for the third time. Don’t rant about “haters” who make your life hard and don’t complain about how some people are fake and only use you. Don’t use Facebook as a forum for your negativity at all.\\nRanting on Facebook and getting people to support your rants with comments and likes will only fuel the fire and inspire more ungrateful behavior.\\nIf you really feel the need to share something personal with all of your Facebook friends, try to make it something positive.\\n2-6. Be nice to your elders.\\nStop thinking that visiting your grandmother or grandfather is nothing but a chore. Be grateful for your elders and the insight they can offer and know that they won’t be around forever. Get your precious time with your grandparents while you can, if you’re lucky enough to have them. If not, be kind to any older members of your family and let them see how much you appreciate their wisdom and love.\\nYou’ll be old too one day, buddy. Will you want a grandchild who is counting down the minutes until he can join his friends at the mall?\\n2-7. Avoid jealousy like the plague.\\nJealously is a classic trait of ungrateful people. If you’re ungrateful, then you must be comparing yourself to other people all the time, wishing you were someone else, and turning green wishing that you had the boyfriend, car, wardrobe, or looks of one of your friends or even of a perfect stranger. If you want to be grateful, then you have to stop playing the comparing game ASAP, or you will never be happy with what you have.\\nRemember that it’s impossible to really compare yourself to someone else without knowing the whole story. Sure, you may wish you had as much money as your best friend, but she may wish that her parents loved each other as much as yours do.\\n3. Practicing Gratitude\\n3-1. Volunteer.\\nVolunteering in your community is another way to show how grateful you are for all of the things that the world has given you. Whether you’re helping clean up a local park, working in a soup kitchen, or teaching children and adults in your community to learn to read, you will become a more grateful person if you give your time to people who are less fortunate and appreciate all that ‘’they’’ have to offer ‘’you.’’\\nIf you really like volunteering, you can even take a volunteer trip to another country. This will really change your perspective and will make you even more grateful.\\n3-2. Commune with nature.\\nThat’s right. Just going out in the park and sitting in the sun can help you appreciate all that you have in life. Whether you go swimming, meditate in a park, go hiking, or climb a mountain, communing with nature will make you see how impermanent your life is and how much you should appreciate all of the little things that life does have to offer you.\\nThe more time you spend outside instead of being cooped up inside your home, the more grateful you will feel.\\n3-3. Do yoga.\\nYoga is the practice of gratitude. While you’re practicing those arm balances and doing those vinyasas, you will really be working on finding a connection between your mind and body that allows you to appreciate every breath, every movement, and every person around you. Yoga will remind you that the world has what you need and that you have what the world wants.\\nMaking a weekly yoga habit will help you appreciate the small stuff and not feel like you’re not getting enough out of life.\\nYoga is all about being generous and offering up what you have to the world. This is guaranteed to make you less selfish and more grateful.\\n3-4. Perform a random act of kindness.\\nYou shouldn’t always save your acts of kindness for your close friends or family members. Help a neighbor look for a lost dog. Help the girl in the coffee shop who spilled coffee all over herself clean up. Help an old woman carry her groceries. Sometimes these opportunities will present themselves—you don’t have to come looking for them. And when they do come, it’s best to act with generosity and you’ll be more grateful for your part in the world.\\nMake a goal of doing at least one random act of kindness per month. Try to get this down to per week. Think you can do one a day? You’ll never know until you try.\\n3-5. Give your friend a thoughtful gift just because.\\nGiving a gift is a great way of practicing gratitude. You don’t have to wait for your friend’s birthday to give her a gift if you really want her to know how much she means to you. If you see a cute picture frame at a craft fair, stick a picture of you two in it and give it to her; if you see the perfect accessory for your friend, pick up it and hand it to her in a small gift bag. It’s not the price that counts—it’s the thought.\\nGetting in a habit of giving gifts to your friends just because you thought of them and want them to feel special is a great way to be a more grateful person.\\nTips\\nThank everyone around you for simple things, (but not too much or else it gets annoying) to show your gratitude.\\nTry not to waste food during mealtimes.\\nDon't complain about things that you take for granted e.g. school, over protective parents etc.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Has your mother or best friend told you that you’re an ungrateful person? Do you feel unable to appreciate the beauty, nature, and love that is all around you? Are you obsessed with the things you don’t have, instead of being thankful for what you do have? If so, becoming a more grateful person can help improve your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Altering Your Perspective\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a gratitude list every Sunday.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to hold off on noting everything you’re thankful for until Thanksgiving. Every Sunday, get a notebook and sit outside for fifteen minutes while making a list of all of the things that you’re thankful for. Try to think of as many new things as you can, and always generate at least ten things, whether they are big or small. You can write, My mother’s endless love or The painting my roommate made for me.\\nChallenge yourself. Think of at least fifteen new things you’re grateful for every week.\\nWriting down the things that you’re grateful for will make you appreciate them even more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for your friendships.\", \"描述\": \"Many people are guilty of taking their friends for granted. You may come to think that your friends are kind of just there, like the couch in your living room or the tree on your front lawn. But that is not the case, dear reader. If you take your friends for granted for too long, then they will slowly make their way out of your life. So, every time you go hang out with one of your friends, think about how much this person means to you, how much he or she’s done for you, and how lucky you are to have this person in your life.\\nSure, nobody’s perfect, and one of your friends might have disappointed you a time or two. But have you been a flawless friend yourself? Most likely not.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for your family.\", \"描述\": \"Your family is another thing you should be grateful for. Your parents might have even been the people to tell you that you should be more grateful. So, take the time to tell your family how much they mean to you, to help out around the house, to call or write letters if you’re not living near each other, and to let the people who raised and grew up with you know how much they mean to you.\\nDon’t let a day go by without telling your family how much you love them.\\nIf you were not raised by a family that treated you well, then this is something you will have to accept eventually. Though it is completely not fair, if you want to work on being more grateful, you have to focus on the people who were a part of your support system, not the people who were absent from it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for all of the good deeds done in your benefit.\", \"描述\": \"Throughout history, imagine how many people have contributed to where you are now through unnoticed hard work and selflessness. Realizing that you couldn't be where you are now if it weren't for all of these people is an important step in being a grateful person.\\nSome of these people have never revealed their identity. For example, people who write Wikipedia articles. For this reason, you never know much a stranger or a friend really may be helping you. Sometimes the most moral person can also be the most humble.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for your health.\", \"描述\": \"Health is another thing people often take for granted, and it’s something you need to think about the next time you find yourself whining or complaining. Sure, you might have lost your cell phone or gotten into a fight with your best friend, and those things suck, but you will get over them and fix them pretty easily. What can’t be fixed so easily is a debilitating physical condition that can change the course of your life; so, the next time you feel like the world hates you, be happy that you have a healthy working body.\\nBe grateful for the air in your lungs, the clearness in your head, and the spring in your step. There are many people who are not so lucky, and who manage to be grateful anyway.\\nYou will have a better sense of gratitude after you have your first health scare and then realize that everything is all right. But hopefully it won’t have to come to this.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for your opportunities.\", \"描述\": \"Be thankful for all of the things you are able to do. This can mean going to school, going to work, having the luxury of spending a night out with friends, or the ability to afford that new jacket you had your eye on. This could mean the chance to travel or to study something that fascinates you even if it isn’t all that practical. Chances are, there are plenty of things you are able to do that others couldn’t even dream of doing, so make sure to be thankful for all of the opportunities that you are given.\\nSure, other people may have been given even more opportunities than you, but that doesn’t mean that you should dwell in bitterness or jealousy.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be grateful for nature.\", \"描述\": \"There is nature all around you, even if you’re living in the heart of a big city. Go out into a public park or walk around a lake, and be grateful for all of the beauty around you. Taking twenty minutes a day to walk around your neighborhood can make you even more grateful for all of the opportunities you have been given.\\nEven if it’s a rainy, gloomy day, you can be grateful for the comforting sound of the rain.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Look for the silver lining.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be a grateful person, then you have to learn to see the positive aspect of any situation. Stop all of the whining and complaining and think of the things that do make you happy, not the things that are getting in the way of you and happiness. If you want to be grateful, then you should conquer your negative thoughts by thinking three positive thoughts for every one negative thought. \\nPut things in perspective. You may be upset because you failed a math test, but you’re not suffering from financial ruin. Remember that there are always people whose problems are much bigger than yours, and focus on being positive and happy about the things you do have.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Stop playing the victim.\", \"描述\": \"People who are ungrateful are always blaming the world for their problems and thinking that nothing bad that happens is their fault. If you want to be a grateful person, then you have to stop thinking that the world, your teachers, your boss, your friends, or your family are all out to get you, and focus on all of the ways that the world is helping you make your life easier.\\nTake control of your life. Stop thinking that you’re a victim of bad circumstances and focus on all of the things in your life that anyone would agree are actually good circumstances.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Interactions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say “thank you” to strangers.\", \"描述\": \"When it’s warranted, that is. Thank the girl who gives you your coffee at six in the morning; she’s probably tired and in need of a kind word. Thank your server or the check-out guy at your local grocery store. Thank the man at the restaurant for holding the door for you. Thank the cab driver for giving you a smooth ride home.\\nNot only is it polite to say thank you to people, but it will also put you in a more grateful mindset.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your loved ones how thankful you are.\", \"描述\": \"Saying thank you to strangers may be easier than saying thank you to the people you love the most. If you want to be a grateful person, though, then you should thank your friends and family whenever they help you out, or just because; you can just thank them for being there for you for all of these years and let them know how much their continued love and support means to you.\\nYou may not like feeling vulnerable, but it won’t be so bad once you get used to thanking the people you really love.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write “thank you” cards.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t reserve “thank you” cards just for your boss or secretary; instead, make a habit of sending these puppies out whenever someone has really helped you out. Maybe it was a friend you lost touch with who let you crash at her place for three nights in a row when you ended up in her neighborhood. Maybe it was a classmate who spent hours explaining electron configuration to you. Sending the card along will show how grateful you are.\\nWhatever the kind deed, writing a thank you card will not only make the other person smile, but it will make you a more grateful person because you’ll have to put your gratitude into words.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take pleasure in doing favors for your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Ungrateful people are also known to be selfish, and to only want to hang out with other people if they can “get” something from them. So, turn that on its head and offer to do some favors for your friends unasked. Maybe your friend is having a busy day and needs someone to pick up lunch for her; maybe your friend needs help picking out a prom dress. Whatever the task, own up to it, and you will feel gratitude when you are helped in return.\\nDoing other favors for people will make you a less selfish person and will make you more grateful when the time comes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop complaining on Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"This one is simple. Don’t go on Facebook and tell your 500 closest friends about the terrible day you had, about the horrible traffic you were stuck in for 25 minutes, or about how you lost your cell phone for the third time. Don’t rant about “haters” who make your life hard and don’t complain about how some people are fake and only use you. Don’t use Facebook as a forum for your negativity at all.\\nRanting on Facebook and getting people to support your rants with comments and likes will only fuel the fire and inspire more ungrateful behavior.\\nIf you really feel the need to share something personal with all of your Facebook friends, try to make it something positive.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be nice to your elders.\", \"描述\": \"Stop thinking that visiting your grandmother or grandfather is nothing but a chore. Be grateful for your elders and the insight they can offer and know that they won’t be around forever. Get your precious time with your grandparents while you can, if you’re lucky enough to have them. If not, be kind to any older members of your family and let them see how much you appreciate their wisdom and love.\\nYou’ll be old too one day, buddy. Will you want a grandchild who is counting down the minutes until he can join his friends at the mall?\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid jealousy like the plague.\", \"描述\": \"Jealously is a classic trait of ungrateful people. If you’re ungrateful, then you must be comparing yourself to other people all the time, wishing you were someone else, and turning green wishing that you had the boyfriend, car, wardrobe, or looks of one of your friends or even of a perfect stranger. If you want to be grateful, then you have to stop playing the comparing game ASAP, or you will never be happy with what you have.\\nRemember that it’s impossible to really compare yourself to someone else without knowing the whole story. Sure, you may wish you had as much money as your best friend, but she may wish that her parents loved each other as much as yours do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Gratitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Volunteer.\", \"描述\": \"Volunteering in your community is another way to show how grateful you are for all of the things that the world has given you. Whether you’re helping clean up a local park, working in a soup kitchen, or teaching children and adults in your community to learn to read, you will become a more grateful person if you give your time to people who are less fortunate and appreciate all that ‘’they’’ have to offer ‘’you.’’\\nIf you really like volunteering, you can even take a volunteer trip to another country. This will really change your perspective and will make you even more grateful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Commune with nature.\", \"描述\": \"That’s right. Just going out in the park and sitting in the sun can help you appreciate all that you have in life. Whether you go swimming, meditate in a park, go hiking, or climb a mountain, communing with nature will make you see how impermanent your life is and how much you should appreciate all of the little things that life does have to offer you.\\nThe more time you spend outside instead of being cooped up inside your home, the more grateful you will feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do yoga.\", \"描述\": \"Yoga is the practice of gratitude. While you’re practicing those arm balances and doing those vinyasas, you will really be working on finding a connection between your mind and body that allows you to appreciate every breath, every movement, and every person around you. Yoga will remind you that the world has what you need and that you have what the world wants.\\nMaking a weekly yoga habit will help you appreciate the small stuff and not feel like you’re not getting enough out of life.\\nYoga is all about being generous and offering up what you have to the world. This is guaranteed to make you less selfish and more grateful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Perform a random act of kindness.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn’t always save your acts of kindness for your close friends or family members. Help a neighbor look for a lost dog. Help the girl in the coffee shop who spilled coffee all over herself clean up. Help an old woman carry her groceries. Sometimes these opportunities will present themselves—you don’t have to come looking for them. And when they do come, it’s best to act with generosity and you’ll be more grateful for your part in the world.\\nMake a goal of doing at least one random act of kindness per month. Try to get this down to per week. Think you can do one a day? You’ll never know until you try.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give your friend a thoughtful gift just because.\", \"描述\": \"Giving a gift is a great way of practicing gratitude. You don’t have to wait for your friend’s birthday to give her a gift if you really want her to know how much she means to you. If you see a cute picture frame at a craft fair, stick a picture of you two in it and give it to her; if you see the perfect accessory for your friend, pick up it and hand it to her in a small gift bag. It’s not the price that counts—it’s the thought.\\nGetting in a habit of giving gifts to your friends just because you thought of them and want them to feel special is a great way to be a more grateful person.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Thank everyone around you for simple things, (but not too much or else it gets annoying) to show your gratitude.\\n\", \"Try not to waste food during mealtimes.\\n\", \"Don't complain about things that you take for granted e.g. school, over protective parents etc.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,785 | How to Be Great | 1. Being Great in Your Personal Life
1-1. Be passionate.
You want to bring passion to all parts of your life. It will help you to be excited about what you do and what you experience. Being passionate about things is also a great way to find friends and romantic partners, because people are drawn to those who are passionate about things.
Figure out what you like. This could be anything from cooking, to video games, to saving the whales.
You should get out and try new things to figure out what interests you. For example: you might go to a free lecture at your local university about global climate change and become passionate about saving the planet. You wouldn't have found this passion if you hadn't gone outside your usual comfort zone and tried something new.
You can also share your passion with other people. Get your friends interested in your interests, or go online and find like-minded people to get excited about your passions with. There are tons of websites out there devoted to everything from rock climbing to knitting. You can even look around your area to see if there's a group devoted to your passion, or a way to start one (like a writer's group, or a quilting circle).
1-2. Cultivate gratitude
Being grateful for things in your life is a prime way to boost your mental and physical health. It doesn't necessarily mean that everything is going swimmingly in your life. In fact, many of the most grateful people are those who have experienced some trauma or life altering (usually "bad") event, like an illness or death of a loved one.
Keep a gratitude journal. This means that every day you write down between 3 and 5 things that you are grateful for. They can be as simple as "the sun warmed me today" or "I got to have bacon for breakfast" or as big as "I got engaged today" or "my book got accept for publication." Make sure that you spend time thinking about the things that you are grateful for.
Say "thank you" to the people you talk to throughout the day: the server who brings you your lunch, the lady who holds the door for you, your son when he makes you dinner. By spreading gratitude you are not only showing yourself everything (even the minor things!) you have to be grateful for, but you are also spreading that appreciation throughout all the people you encounter.
It is impossible to have both fear/anxiety and appreciation at the same time. By cultivating your gratitude you are making yourself better equipped to deal with the more difficult aspects of life in a healthy, healing manner.
A lot of times, people tend to search for the "5%" in their lives, which includes the graduations, promotions, and other exciting aspects of life. Instead, people should live for other 95%. Every day has potential, and it's important to live for the smaller moments while building up for the bigger ones.
1-3. Change what you can.
Lots of things happen that you have absolutely no control over. This is why it's important to maintain control over the things that you do have control over. These include: your attitude towards life, your job, how you spend your free time, the people who are in your life, and so on.
Attitude is immensely important. You can be having the "worst" life ever and still live well, because your attitude is what is important. Don't focus on the problems in your life, unless you're using them as a learning experience or in order to make changes. Instead, focus on the good things.
This doesn't mean that you ignore when things go wrong, or even that you aren't allowed to feel upset about those things. It means that you don't stay mired in misery over the things you cannot change.
Trust your instincts. If the job you're doing, the place where you're living, the relationship you're in doesn't feel right, see if there is a way to make it better (i.e. talk to your boss about the job, discuss your relationship and so on). If you can't make it better, it might be time to walk away from it and find a different job, a different apartment, or a different relationship.
1-4. Keep learning.
Honing your mind and keeping your brain sharp is a great way to maintain your mental health, reducing the possibility of Alzheimer's, for example. By continuing to learn and to grow as a person you open up further possibilities.
Learn from your mistakes. Whenever something happens where you get rejected, where you screw up, where you fail, examine what went wrong and what you could do better the next time around. Mistakes are not the end of the world and if you remember that, you'll be less afraid to fail. For example: if you tried to make a souffle and the end result was completely deflated, you might look back through the recipe to see if you missed a step, or you didn't follow the instructions as you should have done. It's the same for any sort of failure in life.
The more effort you put into learning about your passions the more likely you'll find other people who are interested in them, too. By taking classes on a subject you really enjoy, or going to a convention, or joining a chatroom on the subject, you'll be communicating your passion while learning!
There are lots of free or low cost ways to keep learning. You could enroll in a free program like Open University where you can take free online classes in almost any subject. You could also check out what your town or city has to offer. Lots of communities have free lectures at museums or universities, or libraries. They also sometimes offer opportunities to learn different things.
1-5. Stay healthy.
You'll need to keep your health as much as possible if you're looking to be great. Again, there are certain things that can't be helped (like certain illnesses that come out of nowhere) but maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help you manage these types of conditions. If you don't have a serious illness, having a healthy lifestyle can boost your energy and make life easier to cope with.
Eat right. Go for the good, healthy things like veggies and fruits, especially the leafy greens and the colorful veggies like red peppers, Swiss chard, carrots. Get plenty of protein with an emphasis on the leaner meats like chicken. You can also get protein as well as good fats from nuts (almonds and walnuts being the best), eggs, or soy. As for carbs, avoid things with refined white flour and choose instead, brown rice, quinoa, oats, whole grains (Ezekiel bread is especially good).
Get enough sleep. Most people, these days, are operating under a sleep deficit. This means that you aren't functioning up the levels that you could be! Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Have a set bedtime (preferably before 11:00 p.m.) and a set wake-up time. Turn off electronics (cell phones, computer, iPod, etc.) at least 30 minutes before bedtime, so that you aren't messing up your sleep cycles.
Drink water. Being dehydrated has a bad effect on your body. It makes you feel sleepy and foggy, it can give you headaches and make it difficult to concentrate. Try to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day. You want your urine to be pale yellow in color. Caffeinated or sugary beverages will only make you more dehydrated.
Get exercise. It's best not to use exercise as a weight-loss routine, but instead to use it for its health benefits. Exercising releases chemicals, like endorphins, that enhance your mood so that you feel happier.Find an exercise routine that you like. It could be anything from doing the climbing wall at your gym, or going for a run, or even putting on music and dancing. Do this for 30 minutes each day.
1-6. Take responsibility for your actions.
One thing that is incredibly important to being great, is to take responsibility for the things that you do and feel. Remember, that no one owes you anything (not respect, not sex, not love) except civility and that the same is true of you.
Don't blame other people when things go wrong. Sure, they might have had a hand in it, but it is very unlikely that it was entirely their fault. Owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them will help people see you as a team player, someone who can handle things appropriately.
Again, remember, it's not the situation that's the problem, it's your reaction to the situation. Even the worst situation can be handled in a positive manner. For example: a lot of people who are diagnosed with severe and life threatening illnesses find that this strips away a lot of the pretensions from their lives, allowing them to live more fully and completely.
This is not to say that you aren't allowed to feel upset, or angry, or sad. It just means that you don't place the blame of those emotions on other people. No one can cause you to feel anything. (Of course there are instances where someone does irreparable harm to you [like assault, abuse, rape], act in a way that gets you [legal] justice and allows you to heal.)
2. Achieving Great Things
2-1. Figure out what you want to do.
The world values people who work and you'll spend a large portion of your life working, presumably. This means that you need to find something that you love, or you need to figure out a way to do your work in a manner that fulfills you.
Consider the things you're passionate about. If you're really into social justice, look into getting a law or social science degree and work for a nonprofit of some sort. If music is your thing you could start a music camp for disadvantaged children, or do music therapy for the dying.
If you find yourself in a job you hate, start looking for another one. You don't have to quit right away, and it's usually a good idea to have another job lined up before you quit the first one. It's best to keep an open mind about the types of jobs you might encounter, because you never know what might be around the corner.
If you're in a difficult job and you can't leave, try to to find ways to make it easier. If you have a difficult boss, irritating customers, work that is immensely boring, try to find creative solutions to these difficulties. For example: for boring work, come up with a few reasons why that work is important (you're feeding people, you're cleaning up after people, you're helping people get loans so they can have an amazing life!). Remind yourself of these reasons when the job is getting you down.
2-2. Set goals
While plans change often and quickly, you should have goals set that you want to accomplish. You should also work towards these goals as best you can, despite the other things that are happening in your life.
Have a list of goals, ordered from most important to least. These goals can be things like: run a 10k marathon, and land a job at a publishing house, and make a constellation quilt for a king sized bed.
Work hard towards your goals. If you want to work in publishing, don't just halfheartedly look at some job opportunities. Figure out what it would take to get that job you want. Get the degrees and experience you need, look into internships and entry level positions, demonstrate that you're willing to go that extra mile.
2-3. Create a time-frame.
You want to make sure that you have specific plans laid out for how to accomplish your goals and time-frame in which to accomplish them. This, again, doesn't mean that you can't adapt that time-frame or the goals, or that things can't change. It does, however, mean that you maintain your focus and can prove your accomplishments.
For example: if you want to run that 10k marathon, you'll need to pick the proper time to do it and the proper place. You'll need to set a specific time-frame for training. How far and fast do you need to be able to run? And when? Are you prepared for the marathon? Have you signed up for it? Each time you cross one of these off your list, you get closer to your goal and you feel accomplished.
Refer back to your goals and your time-frame each month. What do you still need to accomplish? What do you need to adjust to make things more feasible? What has changed since your last check-in and what have you accomplished since then?
2-4. Use positive thinking.
Visualization may sound like a silly thing, but it has actually been shown to be effective. It's a technique that many famous people have used to help themselves succeed, including Mohammad Ali.
Visualization helps the brain get ready for the actual physical act, be it getting a pay raise or asking that cute boy on a date. The practice of visualization can help increase your confidence, your motivation, and help set you up for success.
Each night, right before you go to bed, sit up straight and visualize yourself succeeding at your goals and your life. Visualize these things as if you were actually there (getting the raise, giving a successful speech, asking the girl out). Utilize your five senses: what does it smell like? what sounds can you hear? who is there with you? what are you wearing? Each night as you do this combine it with a positive affirmation: "I am super confident," "I make a great publishing assistant," "I am an amazing runner."
2-5. Celebrate your accomplishments.
When striving towards greatness, you need to take time to recognize and celebrate the things you've already accomplished. These don't have to be huge, life-shattering events. Quiet, simple events like "successfully kept my house clean for 3 months running" count, too.
Think back over the last 24 hour period. What was your greatest accomplishment in that time? It could be something as simple as "made a delicious and nutritious dinner" to something as big as "didn't give up on dancing."
2-6. Be creative.
Creativity is a key to being successful in your life and greatness comes from creativity. It comes from having a flexibility of mind to consider other options than the ones immediately obvious. People who use creativity in their lives tend to find it easier to deal with obstacles.
Think outside the box. People tend to get stuck in thinking about how to use certain things. Look at the objects around your house and come up with alternate uses for them to get your brain accustomed to looking at things in a different way. For example, you could build a terrarium out of clear plastic c.d. case fronts.
One thing that stifles creativity is fear of failure. To get around this, consider an obstacle or problem without limitations attached. These questions can help open you up to the realm of different possibilities: "if I could ask anyone in the world for help, who would I ask? If I had access to any possible tools, what would I use? what riskier solution would I try if there were no possibility for failure?"
Daydream. This process helps to form connections and recall information, rather than just being a mindless activity. Setting aside time to let your mind wander can help you have better and more creative ideas. You can daydream while taking a walk, before you fall asleep at night, or even for a few minutes at work.
2-7. Take risks.
If you're going to be great in your own mind and in your own life, you're going to have to be willing to take risks and court the possibility of failure. No one who did well in life got there because everything went 100% smoothly for them (of course, some people did have advantages, but that doesn't mean they didn't take risks).
Put yourself out there. Be open with people about who you are and what you do. Don't hide your passions and interests. When you're open to life and all its vulnerabilities, you're also opening yourself up to success and to new things.
Obviously, be smart about the risks you take. For example, jumping off a 50 story building without any sort of rope or way to break your fall, is the sort of risk that is going to end in your death or serious injury. It is not advisable.
3. Cultivating a Strong Social System
3-1. Find a community.
Community doesn't necessarily have to mean the people in your hometown or city. It simply means a group of people that supports you. Being part of a community can actually help you live longer and more happily and can make you feel less alone.
This is where your passions come in. You can find a community and a place to belong based on things you're interested in. For example: if you're interested in social justice, you might find like-minded people in your area at a rally, or by volunteering at a nonprofit.
You can also find community through the internet, on places like Reddit or Tumblr, for example. A lot of these places have search functions that can help you more easily find people with similar interests. All you have to do is reach out and make a move to talk to them.
Don't burn bridges. You don't necessarily want to maintain toxic people in your life, but not dumping people dramatically can benefit you in the long run. Even toxic people can do things like write recommendations for you, or introduce you to other people. This is not to say that you don't have the right to protect yourself. If someone is acting in a threatening or derogatory manner to you, you have every right to call it out and to cut them out of your life completely.
Remember the 30/30/30 rule. This basically says that 1/3 of the people you meet will love you; 1/3 will hate you no matter what you do; 1/3 simply won't care one way or another. Work on strengthening your relationships with the 1/3 who love you and forget the rest.
There's potential in every person, every interaction, and every thing that you encounter.
3-2. Be the friend you wish you had.
Instead of worrying about what kind of friends you have, be the person you wish you had as a friend. People will respond to that sort of friendship and you'll find yourself attracting the kind of friends you wanted.
Be supportive of your friends. When something good happens to them, celebrate with them without the sting of jealousy. When something unhappy happens, make sure that you're there to help them.
Tell your friends what they mean to you. Be open about their importance in your life, without worrying if they feel the same way. For example: you might tell your friend how much she means to you by writing her a letter detailing all the awesome things about her. You could also tell a friend "I don't know what I would do without you. You always manage to make me laugh, even when I'm feeling down."
3-3. Learn to listen.
Real listening is a skill that most people don't cultivate, or don't learn until they're much older. It means that when you're talking to someone you're truly listening and thinking about what they're saying rather than being distracted thinking about what's for dinner or about the next thing want to say.
This is called active listening. To do it you need to avoid being distracted by the things going on around you. If you do get distracted, ask the person to repeat what they just said.
Ask questions and listen to the answers. Instead of replying right away with a story or thought of your own, ask them a follow up question and keep doing that. People will notice that you are interested in what they have to say.
Maintain eye contact and try to avoid fidgeting or checking your phone (especially this last one). So many people only listen with half their attention
3-4. Be kind.
This is a hard one, because it is so easy to get ratcheted up and forget that other people are typically doing the best they can, just like you are. Being kind doesn't necessarily mean being a pushover or "nice." It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to see things from points of view other than your own.
For example: When that irritating person cuts you off in traffic, instead of going into a cloud of irritation (and maybe flipping them off), give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn't see you. Maybe they were distracted by bad news at work, or at home. Maybe they're simply an angry person, in which case they deserve your sympathy, because their life is guaranteed to be harder than yours since they can't let things go.
Being kind means not gossiping behind people's back, being upfront when someone has upset you instead of using passive aggressive actions. It means not having to have the last word in arguments, and really listening to the other person's side. It does not mean that you accept abuse from other people.
Be kind to yourself as well as to other people. Write down a list of the things you tell yourself on a regular basis ("I'm ugly," "I'm a loser"). You wouldn't (hopefully) say these things to another person, so you shouldn't say them to yourself. When you find yourself doing so, stop and turn the thought around. Say instead "I'm thinking I'm a loser, but I know that it's just an errant thought and not true."
Don't compare yourself to others. Someone else is always going to be doing better at life than you and if you continue to compare yourself to the people you think are more successful, you're going to be intensely unhappy. You'll also start to resent them, which is the opposite of kindness.
3-5. Be honest.
Honesty is an act of courage and trying to live your life in this manner will mean you become great no matter what you do as a job or what you accomplish. You don't have to be rude to be honest. Again, you're tempering your opinions with kindness, but it does mean that you don't sugarcoat things.
For example: if you're at work and you make a mistake, it might be easy to cover up the mistake or pretend it wasn't you. However, it wouldn't be honest. Act with integrity and own up to your mistake and give an example of how you might fix it.
3-6. Give back.
This is an intensely important part of being great. Giving back to your community (whatever it might be) helps to foster an atmosphere of giving and makes sure that the members of your community are cared for. Philanthropy actually helps to maintain your health and have a better mental state.
Help out friends and family. Offer to drive your grandmother to her doctor's appointment, take care of your friend's kid so he can go on date night with his partner, clean your sister's house when she's intensely busy.
Volunteer in your community. This could be for something like a soup kitchen, or a shelter. It could be for an important arts nonprofit, or for a local social justice group. You can also donate money and items, even a small amount can make a huge difference.
Do something for a stranger. This could be something simple like donating to someone's medical fund, or secretly buying the drink of the person behind you in line. Do these things anonymously, so the impetus is on the act rather than the congratulations for doing it.
Tips
Being great isn't about being better than everyone. Feel equal to people. Give a helping hand. It's about being true to yourself and being the best you can be.
Hang out with people who think you're great. Don't change into something you don't want to be to impress people. It's the first step to living a lie and making yourself unhappy.
Warnings
Your life isn't going to work out the way you think it will. No one's does. This can be a good thing if you make sure that you're willing to go with the flow and to put a positive spin on the things that happen.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Great in Your Personal Life\\n1-1. Be passionate.\\nYou want to bring passion to all parts of your life. It will help you to be excited about what you do and what you experience. Being passionate about things is also a great way to find friends and romantic partners, because people are drawn to those who are passionate about things.\\nFigure out what you like. This could be anything from cooking, to video games, to saving the whales.\\nYou should get out and try new things to figure out what interests you. For example: you might go to a free lecture at your local university about global climate change and become passionate about saving the planet. You wouldn't have found this passion if you hadn't gone outside your usual comfort zone and tried something new.\\nYou can also share your passion with other people. Get your friends interested in your interests, or go online and find like-minded people to get excited about your passions with. There are tons of websites out there devoted to everything from rock climbing to knitting. You can even look around your area to see if there's a group devoted to your passion, or a way to start one (like a writer's group, or a quilting circle).\\n1-2. Cultivate gratitude\\nBeing grateful for things in your life is a prime way to boost your mental and physical health. It doesn't necessarily mean that everything is going swimmingly in your life. In fact, many of the most grateful people are those who have experienced some trauma or life altering (usually \\\"bad\\\") event, like an illness or death of a loved one. \\n\\nKeep a gratitude journal. This means that every day you write down between 3 and 5 things that you are grateful for. They can be as simple as \\\"the sun warmed me today\\\" or \\\"I got to have bacon for breakfast\\\" or as big as \\\"I got engaged today\\\" or \\\"my book got accept for publication.\\\" Make sure that you spend time thinking about the things that you are grateful for.\\nSay \\\"thank you\\\" to the people you talk to throughout the day: the server who brings you your lunch, the lady who holds the door for you, your son when he makes you dinner. By spreading gratitude you are not only showing yourself everything (even the minor things!) you have to be grateful for, but you are also spreading that appreciation throughout all the people you encounter.\\nIt is impossible to have both fear/anxiety and appreciation at the same time. By cultivating your gratitude you are making yourself better equipped to deal with the more difficult aspects of life in a healthy, healing manner.\\nA lot of times, people tend to search for the \\\"5%\\\" in their lives, which includes the graduations, promotions, and other exciting aspects of life. Instead, people should live for other 95%. Every day has potential, and it's important to live for the smaller moments while building up for the bigger ones.\\n1-3. Change what you can.\\nLots of things happen that you have absolutely no control over. This is why it's important to maintain control over the things that you do have control over. These include: your attitude towards life, your job, how you spend your free time, the people who are in your life, and so on.\\nAttitude is immensely important. You can be having the \\\"worst\\\" life ever and still live well, because your attitude is what is important. Don't focus on the problems in your life, unless you're using them as a learning experience or in order to make changes. Instead, focus on the good things.\\nThis doesn't mean that you ignore when things go wrong, or even that you aren't allowed to feel upset about those things. It means that you don't stay mired in misery over the things you cannot change.\\nTrust your instincts. If the job you're doing, the place where you're living, the relationship you're in doesn't feel right, see if there is a way to make it better (i.e. talk to your boss about the job, discuss your relationship and so on). If you can't make it better, it might be time to walk away from it and find a different job, a different apartment, or a different relationship.\\n1-4. Keep learning.\\nHoning your mind and keeping your brain sharp is a great way to maintain your mental health, reducing the possibility of Alzheimer's, for example. By continuing to learn and to grow as a person you open up further possibilities.\\nLearn from your mistakes. Whenever something happens where you get rejected, where you screw up, where you fail, examine what went wrong and what you could do better the next time around. Mistakes are not the end of the world and if you remember that, you'll be less afraid to fail. For example: if you tried to make a souffle and the end result was completely deflated, you might look back through the recipe to see if you missed a step, or you didn't follow the instructions as you should have done. It's the same for any sort of failure in life.\\nThe more effort you put into learning about your passions the more likely you'll find other people who are interested in them, too. By taking classes on a subject you really enjoy, or going to a convention, or joining a chatroom on the subject, you'll be communicating your passion while learning!\\nThere are lots of free or low cost ways to keep learning. You could enroll in a free program like Open University where you can take free online classes in almost any subject. You could also check out what your town or city has to offer. Lots of communities have free lectures at museums or universities, or libraries. They also sometimes offer opportunities to learn different things.\\n1-5. Stay healthy.\\nYou'll need to keep your health as much as possible if you're looking to be great. Again, there are certain things that can't be helped (like certain illnesses that come out of nowhere) but maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help you manage these types of conditions. If you don't have a serious illness, having a healthy lifestyle can boost your energy and make life easier to cope with.\\nEat right. Go for the good, healthy things like veggies and fruits, especially the leafy greens and the colorful veggies like red peppers, Swiss chard, carrots. Get plenty of protein with an emphasis on the leaner meats like chicken. You can also get protein as well as good fats from nuts (almonds and walnuts being the best), eggs, or soy. As for carbs, avoid things with refined white flour and choose instead, brown rice, quinoa, oats, whole grains (Ezekiel bread is especially good).\\nGet enough sleep. Most people, these days, are operating under a sleep deficit. This means that you aren't functioning up the levels that you could be! Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Have a set bedtime (preferably before 11:00 p.m.) and a set wake-up time. Turn off electronics (cell phones, computer, iPod, etc.) at least 30 minutes before bedtime, so that you aren't messing up your sleep cycles.\\nDrink water. Being dehydrated has a bad effect on your body. It makes you feel sleepy and foggy, it can give you headaches and make it difficult to concentrate. Try to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day. You want your urine to be pale yellow in color. Caffeinated or sugary beverages will only make you more dehydrated.\\n\\nGet exercise. It's best not to use exercise as a weight-loss routine, but instead to use it for its health benefits. Exercising releases chemicals, like endorphins, that enhance your mood so that you feel happier.Find an exercise routine that you like. It could be anything from doing the climbing wall at your gym, or going for a run, or even putting on music and dancing. Do this for 30 minutes each day.\\n1-6. Take responsibility for your actions.\\nOne thing that is incredibly important to being great, is to take responsibility for the things that you do and feel. Remember, that no one owes you anything (not respect, not sex, not love) except civility and that the same is true of you.\\nDon't blame other people when things go wrong. Sure, they might have had a hand in it, but it is very unlikely that it was entirely their fault. Owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them will help people see you as a team player, someone who can handle things appropriately.\\nAgain, remember, it's not the situation that's the problem, it's your reaction to the situation. Even the worst situation can be handled in a positive manner. For example: a lot of people who are diagnosed with severe and life threatening illnesses find that this strips away a lot of the pretensions from their lives, allowing them to live more fully and completely.\\nThis is not to say that you aren't allowed to feel upset, or angry, or sad. It just means that you don't place the blame of those emotions on other people. No one can cause you to feel anything. (Of course there are instances where someone does irreparable harm to you [like assault, abuse, rape], act in a way that gets you [legal] justice and allows you to heal.)\\n2. Achieving Great Things\\n2-1. Figure out what you want to do.\\nThe world values people who work and you'll spend a large portion of your life working, presumably. This means that you need to find something that you love, or you need to figure out a way to do your work in a manner that fulfills you.\\nConsider the things you're passionate about. If you're really into social justice, look into getting a law or social science degree and work for a nonprofit of some sort. If music is your thing you could start a music camp for disadvantaged children, or do music therapy for the dying.\\nIf you find yourself in a job you hate, start looking for another one. You don't have to quit right away, and it's usually a good idea to have another job lined up before you quit the first one. It's best to keep an open mind about the types of jobs you might encounter, because you never know what might be around the corner.\\nIf you're in a difficult job and you can't leave, try to to find ways to make it easier. If you have a difficult boss, irritating customers, work that is immensely boring, try to find creative solutions to these difficulties. For example: for boring work, come up with a few reasons why that work is important (you're feeding people, you're cleaning up after people, you're helping people get loans so they can have an amazing life!). Remind yourself of these reasons when the job is getting you down.\\n2-2. Set goals\\nWhile plans change often and quickly, you should have goals set that you want to accomplish. You should also work towards these goals as best you can, despite the other things that are happening in your life.\\nHave a list of goals, ordered from most important to least. These goals can be things like: run a 10k marathon, and land a job at a publishing house, and make a constellation quilt for a king sized bed.\\nWork hard towards your goals. If you want to work in publishing, don't just halfheartedly look at some job opportunities. Figure out what it would take to get that job you want. Get the degrees and experience you need, look into internships and entry level positions, demonstrate that you're willing to go that extra mile.\\n2-3. Create a time-frame.\\nYou want to make sure that you have specific plans laid out for how to accomplish your goals and time-frame in which to accomplish them. This, again, doesn't mean that you can't adapt that time-frame or the goals, or that things can't change. It does, however, mean that you maintain your focus and can prove your accomplishments.\\nFor example: if you want to run that 10k marathon, you'll need to pick the proper time to do it and the proper place. You'll need to set a specific time-frame for training. How far and fast do you need to be able to run? And when? Are you prepared for the marathon? Have you signed up for it? Each time you cross one of these off your list, you get closer to your goal and you feel accomplished.\\nRefer back to your goals and your time-frame each month. What do you still need to accomplish? What do you need to adjust to make things more feasible? What has changed since your last check-in and what have you accomplished since then?\\n2-4. Use positive thinking.\\nVisualization may sound like a silly thing, but it has actually been shown to be effective. It's a technique that many famous people have used to help themselves succeed, including Mohammad Ali.\\nVisualization helps the brain get ready for the actual physical act, be it getting a pay raise or asking that cute boy on a date. The practice of visualization can help increase your confidence, your motivation, and help set you up for success.\\nEach night, right before you go to bed, sit up straight and visualize yourself succeeding at your goals and your life. Visualize these things as if you were actually there (getting the raise, giving a successful speech, asking the girl out). Utilize your five senses: what does it smell like? what sounds can you hear? who is there with you? what are you wearing? Each night as you do this combine it with a positive affirmation: \\\"I am super confident,\\\" \\\"I make a great publishing assistant,\\\" \\\"I am an amazing runner.\\\"\\n2-5. Celebrate your accomplishments.\\nWhen striving towards greatness, you need to take time to recognize and celebrate the things you've already accomplished. These don't have to be huge, life-shattering events. Quiet, simple events like \\\"successfully kept my house clean for 3 months running\\\" count, too.\\nThink back over the last 24 hour period. What was your greatest accomplishment in that time? It could be something as simple as \\\"made a delicious and nutritious dinner\\\" to something as big as \\\"didn't give up on dancing.\\\"\\n2-6. Be creative.\\nCreativity is a key to being successful in your life and greatness comes from creativity. It comes from having a flexibility of mind to consider other options than the ones immediately obvious. People who use creativity in their lives tend to find it easier to deal with obstacles.\\nThink outside the box. People tend to get stuck in thinking about how to use certain things. Look at the objects around your house and come up with alternate uses for them to get your brain accustomed to looking at things in a different way. For example, you could build a terrarium out of clear plastic c.d. case fronts.\\nOne thing that stifles creativity is fear of failure. To get around this, consider an obstacle or problem without limitations attached. These questions can help open you up to the realm of different possibilities: \\\"if I could ask anyone in the world for help, who would I ask? If I had access to any possible tools, what would I use? what riskier solution would I try if there were no possibility for failure?\\\"\\nDaydream. This process helps to form connections and recall information, rather than just being a mindless activity. Setting aside time to let your mind wander can help you have better and more creative ideas. You can daydream while taking a walk, before you fall asleep at night, or even for a few minutes at work.\\n2-7. Take risks.\\nIf you're going to be great in your own mind and in your own life, you're going to have to be willing to take risks and court the possibility of failure. No one who did well in life got there because everything went 100% smoothly for them (of course, some people did have advantages, but that doesn't mean they didn't take risks).\\nPut yourself out there. Be open with people about who you are and what you do. Don't hide your passions and interests. When you're open to life and all its vulnerabilities, you're also opening yourself up to success and to new things.\\nObviously, be smart about the risks you take. For example, jumping off a 50 story building without any sort of rope or way to break your fall, is the sort of risk that is going to end in your death or serious injury. It is not advisable.\\n3. Cultivating a Strong Social System\\n3-1. Find a community.\\nCommunity doesn't necessarily have to mean the people in your hometown or city. It simply means a group of people that supports you. Being part of a community can actually help you live longer and more happily and can make you feel less alone.\\nThis is where your passions come in. You can find a community and a place to belong based on things you're interested in. For example: if you're interested in social justice, you might find like-minded people in your area at a rally, or by volunteering at a nonprofit.\\nYou can also find community through the internet, on places like Reddit or Tumblr, for example. A lot of these places have search functions that can help you more easily find people with similar interests. All you have to do is reach out and make a move to talk to them.\\nDon't burn bridges. You don't necessarily want to maintain toxic people in your life, but not dumping people dramatically can benefit you in the long run. Even toxic people can do things like write recommendations for you, or introduce you to other people. This is not to say that you don't have the right to protect yourself. If someone is acting in a threatening or derogatory manner to you, you have every right to call it out and to cut them out of your life completely.\\nRemember the 30/30/30 rule. This basically says that 1/3 of the people you meet will love you; 1/3 will hate you no matter what you do; 1/3 simply won't care one way or another. Work on strengthening your relationships with the 1/3 who love you and forget the rest.\\nThere's potential in every person, every interaction, and every thing that you encounter.\\n3-2. Be the friend you wish you had.\\nInstead of worrying about what kind of friends you have, be the person you wish you had as a friend. People will respond to that sort of friendship and you'll find yourself attracting the kind of friends you wanted.\\nBe supportive of your friends. When something good happens to them, celebrate with them without the sting of jealousy. When something unhappy happens, make sure that you're there to help them.\\nTell your friends what they mean to you. Be open about their importance in your life, without worrying if they feel the same way. For example: you might tell your friend how much she means to you by writing her a letter detailing all the awesome things about her. You could also tell a friend \\\"I don't know what I would do without you. You always manage to make me laugh, even when I'm feeling down.\\\"\\n3-3. Learn to listen.\\nReal listening is a skill that most people don't cultivate, or don't learn until they're much older. It means that when you're talking to someone you're truly listening and thinking about what they're saying rather than being distracted thinking about what's for dinner or about the next thing want to say.\\nThis is called active listening. To do it you need to avoid being distracted by the things going on around you. If you do get distracted, ask the person to repeat what they just said.\\nAsk questions and listen to the answers. Instead of replying right away with a story or thought of your own, ask them a follow up question and keep doing that. People will notice that you are interested in what they have to say.\\nMaintain eye contact and try to avoid fidgeting or checking your phone (especially this last one). So many people only listen with half their attention\\n3-4. Be kind.\\nThis is a hard one, because it is so easy to get ratcheted up and forget that other people are typically doing the best they can, just like you are. Being kind doesn't necessarily mean being a pushover or \\\"nice.\\\" It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to see things from points of view other than your own.\\nFor example: When that irritating person cuts you off in traffic, instead of going into a cloud of irritation (and maybe flipping them off), give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn't see you. Maybe they were distracted by bad news at work, or at home. Maybe they're simply an angry person, in which case they deserve your sympathy, because their life is guaranteed to be harder than yours since they can't let things go.\\nBeing kind means not gossiping behind people's back, being upfront when someone has upset you instead of using passive aggressive actions. It means not having to have the last word in arguments, and really listening to the other person's side. It does not mean that you accept abuse from other people.\\nBe kind to yourself as well as to other people. Write down a list of the things you tell yourself on a regular basis (\\\"I'm ugly,\\\" \\\"I'm a loser\\\"). You wouldn't (hopefully) say these things to another person, so you shouldn't say them to yourself. When you find yourself doing so, stop and turn the thought around. Say instead \\\"I'm thinking I'm a loser, but I know that it's just an errant thought and not true.\\\"\\nDon't compare yourself to others. Someone else is always going to be doing better at life than you and if you continue to compare yourself to the people you think are more successful, you're going to be intensely unhappy. You'll also start to resent them, which is the opposite of kindness.\\n3-5. Be honest.\\nHonesty is an act of courage and trying to live your life in this manner will mean you become great no matter what you do as a job or what you accomplish. You don't have to be rude to be honest. Again, you're tempering your opinions with kindness, but it does mean that you don't sugarcoat things.\\nFor example: if you're at work and you make a mistake, it might be easy to cover up the mistake or pretend it wasn't you. However, it wouldn't be honest. Act with integrity and own up to your mistake and give an example of how you might fix it.\\n3-6. Give back.\\nThis is an intensely important part of being great. Giving back to your community (whatever it might be) helps to foster an atmosphere of giving and makes sure that the members of your community are cared for. Philanthropy actually helps to maintain your health and have a better mental state.\\nHelp out friends and family. Offer to drive your grandmother to her doctor's appointment, take care of your friend's kid so he can go on date night with his partner, clean your sister's house when she's intensely busy.\\nVolunteer in your community. This could be for something like a soup kitchen, or a shelter. It could be for an important arts nonprofit, or for a local social justice group. You can also donate money and items, even a small amount can make a huge difference.\\nDo something for a stranger. This could be something simple like donating to someone's medical fund, or secretly buying the drink of the person behind you in line. Do these things anonymously, so the impetus is on the act rather than the congratulations for doing it.\\nTips\\nBeing great isn't about being better than everyone. Feel equal to people. Give a helping hand. It's about being true to yourself and being the best you can be.\\nHang out with people who think you're great. Don't change into something you don't want to be to impress people. It's the first step to living a lie and making yourself unhappy.\\nWarnings\\nYour life isn't going to work out the way you think it will. No one's does. This can be a good thing if you make sure that you're willing to go with the flow and to put a positive spin on the things that happen.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone has a different idea of what it means to be great. For one person, it's getting up and singing on Broadway, or another it's saving lives by working as a Triage nurse. While only you can determine what will make you great, there are some definite overlap between the lives of great people! See Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Great in Your Personal Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be passionate.\", \"描述\": \"You want to bring passion to all parts of your life. It will help you to be excited about what you do and what you experience. Being passionate about things is also a great way to find friends and romantic partners, because people are drawn to those who are passionate about things.\\nFigure out what you like. This could be anything from cooking, to video games, to saving the whales.\\nYou should get out and try new things to figure out what interests you. For example: you might go to a free lecture at your local university about global climate change and become passionate about saving the planet. You wouldn't have found this passion if you hadn't gone outside your usual comfort zone and tried something new.\\nYou can also share your passion with other people. Get your friends interested in your interests, or go online and find like-minded people to get excited about your passions with. There are tons of websites out there devoted to everything from rock climbing to knitting. You can even look around your area to see if there's a group devoted to your passion, or a way to start one (like a writer's group, or a quilting circle).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivate gratitude\", \"描述\": \"Being grateful for things in your life is a prime way to boost your mental and physical health. It doesn't necessarily mean that everything is going swimmingly in your life. In fact, many of the most grateful people are those who have experienced some trauma or life altering (usually \\\"bad\\\") event, like an illness or death of a loved one. \\n\\nKeep a gratitude journal. This means that every day you write down between 3 and 5 things that you are grateful for. They can be as simple as \\\"the sun warmed me today\\\" or \\\"I got to have bacon for breakfast\\\" or as big as \\\"I got engaged today\\\" or \\\"my book got accept for publication.\\\" Make sure that you spend time thinking about the things that you are grateful for.\\nSay \\\"thank you\\\" to the people you talk to throughout the day: the server who brings you your lunch, the lady who holds the door for you, your son when he makes you dinner. By spreading gratitude you are not only showing yourself everything (even the minor things!) you have to be grateful for, but you are also spreading that appreciation throughout all the people you encounter.\\nIt is impossible to have both fear/anxiety and appreciation at the same time. By cultivating your gratitude you are making yourself better equipped to deal with the more difficult aspects of life in a healthy, healing manner.\\nA lot of times, people tend to search for the \\\"5%\\\" in their lives, which includes the graduations, promotions, and other exciting aspects of life. Instead, people should live for other 95%. Every day has potential, and it's important to live for the smaller moments while building up for the bigger ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change what you can.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of things happen that you have absolutely no control over. This is why it's important to maintain control over the things that you do have control over. These include: your attitude towards life, your job, how you spend your free time, the people who are in your life, and so on.\\nAttitude is immensely important. You can be having the \\\"worst\\\" life ever and still live well, because your attitude is what is important. Don't focus on the problems in your life, unless you're using them as a learning experience or in order to make changes. Instead, focus on the good things.\\nThis doesn't mean that you ignore when things go wrong, or even that you aren't allowed to feel upset about those things. It means that you don't stay mired in misery over the things you cannot change.\\nTrust your instincts. If the job you're doing, the place where you're living, the relationship you're in doesn't feel right, see if there is a way to make it better (i.e. talk to your boss about the job, discuss your relationship and so on). If you can't make it better, it might be time to walk away from it and find a different job, a different apartment, or a different relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep learning.\", \"描述\": \"Honing your mind and keeping your brain sharp is a great way to maintain your mental health, reducing the possibility of Alzheimer's, for example. By continuing to learn and to grow as a person you open up further possibilities.\\nLearn from your mistakes. Whenever something happens where you get rejected, where you screw up, where you fail, examine what went wrong and what you could do better the next time around. Mistakes are not the end of the world and if you remember that, you'll be less afraid to fail. For example: if you tried to make a souffle and the end result was completely deflated, you might look back through the recipe to see if you missed a step, or you didn't follow the instructions as you should have done. It's the same for any sort of failure in life.\\nThe more effort you put into learning about your passions the more likely you'll find other people who are interested in them, too. By taking classes on a subject you really enjoy, or going to a convention, or joining a chatroom on the subject, you'll be communicating your passion while learning!\\nThere are lots of free or low cost ways to keep learning. You could enroll in a free program like Open University where you can take free online classes in almost any subject. You could also check out what your town or city has to offer. Lots of communities have free lectures at museums or universities, or libraries. They also sometimes offer opportunities to learn different things.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay healthy.\", \"描述\": \"You'll need to keep your health as much as possible if you're looking to be great. Again, there are certain things that can't be helped (like certain illnesses that come out of nowhere) but maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help you manage these types of conditions. If you don't have a serious illness, having a healthy lifestyle can boost your energy and make life easier to cope with.\\nEat right. Go for the good, healthy things like veggies and fruits, especially the leafy greens and the colorful veggies like red peppers, Swiss chard, carrots. Get plenty of protein with an emphasis on the leaner meats like chicken. You can also get protein as well as good fats from nuts (almonds and walnuts being the best), eggs, or soy. As for carbs, avoid things with refined white flour and choose instead, brown rice, quinoa, oats, whole grains (Ezekiel bread is especially good).\\nGet enough sleep. Most people, these days, are operating under a sleep deficit. This means that you aren't functioning up the levels that you could be! Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Have a set bedtime (preferably before 11:00 p.m.) and a set wake-up time. Turn off electronics (cell phones, computer, iPod, etc.) at least 30 minutes before bedtime, so that you aren't messing up your sleep cycles.\\nDrink water. Being dehydrated has a bad effect on your body. It makes you feel sleepy and foggy, it can give you headaches and make it difficult to concentrate. Try to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day. You want your urine to be pale yellow in color. Caffeinated or sugary beverages will only make you more dehydrated.\\n\\nGet exercise. It's best not to use exercise as a weight-loss routine, but instead to use it for its health benefits. Exercising releases chemicals, like endorphins, that enhance your mood so that you feel happier.Find an exercise routine that you like. It could be anything from doing the climbing wall at your gym, or going for a run, or even putting on music and dancing. Do this for 30 minutes each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"One thing that is incredibly important to being great, is to take responsibility for the things that you do and feel. Remember, that no one owes you anything (not respect, not sex, not love) except civility and that the same is true of you.\\nDon't blame other people when things go wrong. Sure, they might have had a hand in it, but it is very unlikely that it was entirely their fault. Owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them will help people see you as a team player, someone who can handle things appropriately.\\nAgain, remember, it's not the situation that's the problem, it's your reaction to the situation. Even the worst situation can be handled in a positive manner. For example: a lot of people who are diagnosed with severe and life threatening illnesses find that this strips away a lot of the pretensions from their lives, allowing them to live more fully and completely.\\nThis is not to say that you aren't allowed to feel upset, or angry, or sad. It just means that you don't place the blame of those emotions on other people. No one can cause you to feel anything. (Of course there are instances where someone does irreparable harm to you [like assault, abuse, rape], act in a way that gets you [legal] justice and allows you to heal.)\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Achieving Great Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out what you want to do.\", \"描述\": \"The world values people who work and you'll spend a large portion of your life working, presumably. This means that you need to find something that you love, or you need to figure out a way to do your work in a manner that fulfills you.\\nConsider the things you're passionate about. If you're really into social justice, look into getting a law or social science degree and work for a nonprofit of some sort. If music is your thing you could start a music camp for disadvantaged children, or do music therapy for the dying.\\nIf you find yourself in a job you hate, start looking for another one. You don't have to quit right away, and it's usually a good idea to have another job lined up before you quit the first one. It's best to keep an open mind about the types of jobs you might encounter, because you never know what might be around the corner.\\nIf you're in a difficult job and you can't leave, try to to find ways to make it easier. If you have a difficult boss, irritating customers, work that is immensely boring, try to find creative solutions to these difficulties. For example: for boring work, come up with a few reasons why that work is important (you're feeding people, you're cleaning up after people, you're helping people get loans so they can have an amazing life!). Remind yourself of these reasons when the job is getting you down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals\", \"描述\": \"While plans change often and quickly, you should have goals set that you want to accomplish. You should also work towards these goals as best you can, despite the other things that are happening in your life.\\nHave a list of goals, ordered from most important to least. These goals can be things like: run a 10k marathon, and land a job at a publishing house, and make a constellation quilt for a king sized bed.\\nWork hard towards your goals. If you want to work in publishing, don't just halfheartedly look at some job opportunities. Figure out what it would take to get that job you want. Get the degrees and experience you need, look into internships and entry level positions, demonstrate that you're willing to go that extra mile.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a time-frame.\", \"描述\": \"You want to make sure that you have specific plans laid out for how to accomplish your goals and time-frame in which to accomplish them. This, again, doesn't mean that you can't adapt that time-frame or the goals, or that things can't change. It does, however, mean that you maintain your focus and can prove your accomplishments.\\nFor example: if you want to run that 10k marathon, you'll need to pick the proper time to do it and the proper place. You'll need to set a specific time-frame for training. How far and fast do you need to be able to run? And when? Are you prepared for the marathon? Have you signed up for it? Each time you cross one of these off your list, you get closer to your goal and you feel accomplished.\\nRefer back to your goals and your time-frame each month. What do you still need to accomplish? What do you need to adjust to make things more feasible? What has changed since your last check-in and what have you accomplished since then?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use positive thinking.\", \"描述\": \"Visualization may sound like a silly thing, but it has actually been shown to be effective. It's a technique that many famous people have used to help themselves succeed, including Mohammad Ali.\\nVisualization helps the brain get ready for the actual physical act, be it getting a pay raise or asking that cute boy on a date. The practice of visualization can help increase your confidence, your motivation, and help set you up for success.\\nEach night, right before you go to bed, sit up straight and visualize yourself succeeding at your goals and your life. Visualize these things as if you were actually there (getting the raise, giving a successful speech, asking the girl out). Utilize your five senses: what does it smell like? what sounds can you hear? who is there with you? what are you wearing? Each night as you do this combine it with a positive affirmation: \\\"I am super confident,\\\" \\\"I make a great publishing assistant,\\\" \\\"I am an amazing runner.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your accomplishments.\", \"描述\": \"When striving towards greatness, you need to take time to recognize and celebrate the things you've already accomplished. These don't have to be huge, life-shattering events. Quiet, simple events like \\\"successfully kept my house clean for 3 months running\\\" count, too.\\nThink back over the last 24 hour period. What was your greatest accomplishment in that time? It could be something as simple as \\\"made a delicious and nutritious dinner\\\" to something as big as \\\"didn't give up on dancing.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be creative.\", \"描述\": \"Creativity is a key to being successful in your life and greatness comes from creativity. It comes from having a flexibility of mind to consider other options than the ones immediately obvious. People who use creativity in their lives tend to find it easier to deal with obstacles.\\nThink outside the box. People tend to get stuck in thinking about how to use certain things. Look at the objects around your house and come up with alternate uses for them to get your brain accustomed to looking at things in a different way. For example, you could build a terrarium out of clear plastic c.d. case fronts.\\nOne thing that stifles creativity is fear of failure. To get around this, consider an obstacle or problem without limitations attached. These questions can help open you up to the realm of different possibilities: \\\"if I could ask anyone in the world for help, who would I ask? If I had access to any possible tools, what would I use? what riskier solution would I try if there were no possibility for failure?\\\"\\nDaydream. This process helps to form connections and recall information, rather than just being a mindless activity. Setting aside time to let your mind wander can help you have better and more creative ideas. You can daydream while taking a walk, before you fall asleep at night, or even for a few minutes at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take risks.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going to be great in your own mind and in your own life, you're going to have to be willing to take risks and court the possibility of failure. No one who did well in life got there because everything went 100% smoothly for them (of course, some people did have advantages, but that doesn't mean they didn't take risks).\\nPut yourself out there. Be open with people about who you are and what you do. Don't hide your passions and interests. When you're open to life and all its vulnerabilities, you're also opening yourself up to success and to new things.\\nObviously, be smart about the risks you take. For example, jumping off a 50 story building without any sort of rope or way to break your fall, is the sort of risk that is going to end in your death or serious injury. It is not advisable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cultivating a Strong Social System\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a community.\", \"描述\": \"Community doesn't necessarily have to mean the people in your hometown or city. It simply means a group of people that supports you. Being part of a community can actually help you live longer and more happily and can make you feel less alone.\\nThis is where your passions come in. You can find a community and a place to belong based on things you're interested in. For example: if you're interested in social justice, you might find like-minded people in your area at a rally, or by volunteering at a nonprofit.\\nYou can also find community through the internet, on places like Reddit or Tumblr, for example. A lot of these places have search functions that can help you more easily find people with similar interests. All you have to do is reach out and make a move to talk to them.\\nDon't burn bridges. You don't necessarily want to maintain toxic people in your life, but not dumping people dramatically can benefit you in the long run. Even toxic people can do things like write recommendations for you, or introduce you to other people. This is not to say that you don't have the right to protect yourself. If someone is acting in a threatening or derogatory manner to you, you have every right to call it out and to cut them out of your life completely.\\nRemember the 30/30/30 rule. This basically says that 1/3 of the people you meet will love you; 1/3 will hate you no matter what you do; 1/3 simply won't care one way or another. Work on strengthening your relationships with the 1/3 who love you and forget the rest.\\nThere's potential in every person, every interaction, and every thing that you encounter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be the friend you wish you had.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of worrying about what kind of friends you have, be the person you wish you had as a friend. People will respond to that sort of friendship and you'll find yourself attracting the kind of friends you wanted.\\nBe supportive of your friends. When something good happens to them, celebrate with them without the sting of jealousy. When something unhappy happens, make sure that you're there to help them.\\nTell your friends what they mean to you. Be open about their importance in your life, without worrying if they feel the same way. For example: you might tell your friend how much she means to you by writing her a letter detailing all the awesome things about her. You could also tell a friend \\\"I don't know what I would do without you. You always manage to make me laugh, even when I'm feeling down.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to listen.\", \"描述\": \"Real listening is a skill that most people don't cultivate, or don't learn until they're much older. It means that when you're talking to someone you're truly listening and thinking about what they're saying rather than being distracted thinking about what's for dinner or about the next thing want to say.\\nThis is called active listening. To do it you need to avoid being distracted by the things going on around you. If you do get distracted, ask the person to repeat what they just said.\\nAsk questions and listen to the answers. Instead of replying right away with a story or thought of your own, ask them a follow up question and keep doing that. People will notice that you are interested in what they have to say.\\nMaintain eye contact and try to avoid fidgeting or checking your phone (especially this last one). So many people only listen with half their attention\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind.\", \"描述\": \"This is a hard one, because it is so easy to get ratcheted up and forget that other people are typically doing the best they can, just like you are. Being kind doesn't necessarily mean being a pushover or \\\"nice.\\\" It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to see things from points of view other than your own.\\nFor example: When that irritating person cuts you off in traffic, instead of going into a cloud of irritation (and maybe flipping them off), give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn't see you. Maybe they were distracted by bad news at work, or at home. Maybe they're simply an angry person, in which case they deserve your sympathy, because their life is guaranteed to be harder than yours since they can't let things go.\\nBeing kind means not gossiping behind people's back, being upfront when someone has upset you instead of using passive aggressive actions. It means not having to have the last word in arguments, and really listening to the other person's side. It does not mean that you accept abuse from other people.\\nBe kind to yourself as well as to other people. Write down a list of the things you tell yourself on a regular basis (\\\"I'm ugly,\\\" \\\"I'm a loser\\\"). You wouldn't (hopefully) say these things to another person, so you shouldn't say them to yourself. When you find yourself doing so, stop and turn the thought around. Say instead \\\"I'm thinking I'm a loser, but I know that it's just an errant thought and not true.\\\"\\nDon't compare yourself to others. Someone else is always going to be doing better at life than you and if you continue to compare yourself to the people you think are more successful, you're going to be intensely unhappy. You'll also start to resent them, which is the opposite of kindness.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty is an act of courage and trying to live your life in this manner will mean you become great no matter what you do as a job or what you accomplish. You don't have to be rude to be honest. Again, you're tempering your opinions with kindness, but it does mean that you don't sugarcoat things.\\nFor example: if you're at work and you make a mistake, it might be easy to cover up the mistake or pretend it wasn't you. However, it wouldn't be honest. Act with integrity and own up to your mistake and give an example of how you might fix it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give back.\", \"描述\": \"This is an intensely important part of being great. Giving back to your community (whatever it might be) helps to foster an atmosphere of giving and makes sure that the members of your community are cared for. Philanthropy actually helps to maintain your health and have a better mental state.\\nHelp out friends and family. Offer to drive your grandmother to her doctor's appointment, take care of your friend's kid so he can go on date night with his partner, clean your sister's house when she's intensely busy.\\nVolunteer in your community. This could be for something like a soup kitchen, or a shelter. It could be for an important arts nonprofit, or for a local social justice group. You can also donate money and items, even a small amount can make a huge difference.\\nDo something for a stranger. This could be something simple like donating to someone's medical fund, or secretly buying the drink of the person behind you in line. Do these things anonymously, so the impetus is on the act rather than the congratulations for doing it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being great isn't about being better than everyone. Feel equal to people. Give a helping hand. It's about being true to yourself and being the best you can be.\\n\", \"Hang out with people who think you're great. Don't change into something you don't want to be to impress people. It's the first step to living a lie and making yourself unhappy.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Your life isn't going to work out the way you think it will. No one's does. This can be a good thing if you make sure that you're willing to go with the flow and to put a positive spin on the things that happen.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
3,786 | How to Be Great at Cross Country Running | 1. Training for Cross Country
1-1. Start training before the cross country season starts.
Training for cross country is a gradual process, so it’s important that you start early to give yourself time to build up your endurance and speed. This is especially important if you haven’t been running at all in the off season. Start training in the summer so you’re better prepared when cross country season starts in the fall. Then, continue training regularly throughout the season.
Train for cross country every day of the week if you’re able to. Aim to do one specific training exercise per day.
1-2. Set running goals for yourself to help guide your training.
Setting goals will give you something to work towards throughout the season and help you measure how much you’ve improved as a runner. Make your goals specific and come up with a timeline to achieve them within, like by the end of the cross country season.
For example, your goal could be to beat your best time on a 5K race by the end of the season or to run a full race without having to stop.
1-3. Incorporate tempo runs into your training.
Tempo runs are 20-30 minute runs at a pace that’s slightly slower than your racing pace. They should be challenging but not exhausting. Tempo runs are a good way to build your endurance and train your body to handle fast paces over long distances.
Do 1 tempo run per week.
1-4. Try interval training.
Interval training for cross country involves running at a fast pace for a set distance, jogging or walking afterward to recover, and then repeating several times. It’s a good way to improve your running speed. Try interval training once a week during the running season. A few intervals you can try are:
400 meters (440 yd) 10 times with a 400 m (440 yd) jog in between intervals.
600 meters (660 yd) 6 times with a 200 m (220 yd) jog in between intervals.
1,000 meters (1,100 yd) 5 times with a 3-minute walk in between intervals.
1-5. Do fartleks to improve your speed.
Fartlek is a Swedish word for “speed play.” To run a fartlek, run for 30-45 minutes and continue changing your pace throughout. For example, start by jogging for 5 minutes, then sprint for 20 seconds, then slow back down to a jog until you’ve recovered a bit before sprinting again. Continue these pace changes throughout your run. Practicing fartleks will help prepare you for changing your pace during a race.
Do fartleks 1 day per week.
1-6. Go for long runs.
Long runs are 60-90 minute runs that you can do at a conversational pace, or slow enough that you could have a conversation with someone comfortably. The goal is to run the whole time at the same pace without having to stop or slow down. Slow runs are great for improving your endurance. Go for 1 long run per week while you’re training.
1-7. Do easy runs every other day of the week to let your body recover.
Run at a casual, conversational pace for 30 minutes on your easy days. Taking a break between harder workouts will give your body a chance to recover, which will help prevent injuries and ensure that you’re performing your best. You can also take one day off per week to rest and not run at all.
For example, you could do your easy runs on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Your harder workouts, like interval training, fartleks, and tempo runs, would be on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.
1-8. Increase the duration of your exercises as the season progresses.
Every 1-2 weeks, add 5 minutes to each of your runs, including your tempo runs, fartleks, interval training, and long runs. That way, you’ll gradually build up your endurance and speed throughout the running season.
For example, the first week of training you might go for a 60-minute long run. Then, you would go for a 65-minute long run the next week. The following week, your long run would be 70 minutes, and so on.
2. Navigating Tough Terrain
2-1. Practice good long-distance running form.
Stand up straight as you run and avoid leaning forward at your waist. Run so your feet land close to your center directly underneath your body. Don’t run using long strides since it puts unnecessary pressure on your legs. You should also keep your elbows bent at 90 degrees or less, and let your arms move naturally forward and backward. Avoid pumping your arms or swinging them far out in front of you. By maintaining good form while you run, you’ll increase your efficiency and be less at risk of injuring yourself.
2-2. Invest in a pair of cross country spikes.
Cross country spikes are shoes designed specifically for cross country running. They have metal spikes on the sole that provide better traction and make running on soft terrains easier. Regular trail shoes can work for cross country, but spikes will give you a competitive edge in races and make you more efficient while training.
You can find cross country spikes online and in shoe stores that sell athletic shoes.
Read online reviews of different spikes to see which ones are the best quality within your price range.
2-3. Prepare in advance for cold and rainy racing conditions.
There may be times when you find yourself racing in cold, rainy weather. To better prepare, practice running in the cold and the rain throughout the season if you can. That way, you’ll be more mentally and physically comfortable if you have to do it during a race. You’ll also have a better sense of how to pace yourself when it’s cold and raining and you’re drenched.
If you show up to a race and it’s raining, stay as dry as you can until the race starts by wearing a poncho and covering your shoes with plastic bags. The longer you stay dry and warm, the better you’ll perform.
Wear moisture-wicking layers that are well ventilated if the forecast is looking rainy for a race. You’ll have layers to keep you warm, but you can also take layers off if you start to get overheated.
2-4. Stay present while you run to avoid obstacles and injury.
Cross country running trails can be covered in roots, rocks, mud, branches, and other obstacles that can pose a tripping hazard if you’re not being careful. Whether you’re training or racing, keep your eyes ahead of you on the trail and stay focused so you can avoid obstacles and slow your pace if necessary.
Avoid looking straight down at the ground as you run since it will slow you down. Look forward and scan the trail ahead of you instead.
Don’t feel bad if you fall during a race—it happens to every runner at some point. If you’re seriously injured or in a lot of pain, ask for help and get medical attention. Otherwise, see if you can get up and finish the race.
2-5. Practice running on different types of terrain.
Cross country races can take place on hills, soft dirt, rocky trails, and other types of terrain. The more comfortable you are running on different trail types, the more prepared you’ll be for races, regardless of where they’re held. Vary what trails you’re training on every week, and look for trails that are different from what you’re used to.
For example, if you usually train on trails that run through a relatively flat park, look for trails that have a lot of inclines that you can train on as well.
3. Racing Strategically
3-1. Walk the course beforehand if you’re able to.
Show up early to the race and try to do a lap around the course. That way, you’ll be familiar with all of the turns, hills, and terrain and can better prepare. Familiarizing yourself with the course will also make it easier to plan how you’re going to pace yourself.
3-2. Warm up before the race.
A proper warm-up is crucial for getting your body ready for the race and preventing injuries. Before the race starts, go for a slow 10-15 minute jog to warm up your muscles. Then, do some dynamic stretches. Dynamic stretches are stretches that bring your joints and muscles through their full range of motion, and they’re better at getting your body warmed up than static stretches. Some dynamic stretches you can try are:
Walking lunges: step forward and bend your knee until your thigh is parallel with the ground and your opposite knee is just above the ground. Then, stand back up and repeat with your opposite leg. Repeat 10 times.
Leg swings: hold onto something sturdy and swing one of your legs back and forth 20 times. Have each swing get bigger as you go until you’re using your full range of motion. Then, repeat with your other leg.
3-3. Run at an even pace throughout most of the race.
Settle into the pace you’ve been training for and stick with it throughout the beginning and middle of the race. If you start out too fast, you’re more likely to lose steam and burn out later on in the race. You can always increase your pace as needed to pass people.
By maintaining a steady pace, you’ll have more energy for the moments when you need to push yourself to run a little faster.
3-4. Use hills on the course to your advantage.
Hills can slow runners down in a race, and if you know how to run up and down them to maximize your speed, it can give you a competitive edge. When you’re approaching a hill, increase your speed so you have more momentum going up it and don’t get slowed down. When you’re going down a hill, don’t slow yourself down. Lean into the downward momentum to take advantage of it and come off the hill at a faster speed.
Hills are a good opportunity to pass people during a race.
3-5. Push yourself during the final stretch.
During the last 1 mile (1.6 km) of the race, increase your speed as much as you can. This is your last opportunity to pass people or maintain your position in the front.
New cross country runners tend to start out fast and then lose steam by the end of the race. By maintaining a steady, manageable pace at the beginning of the race, you’ll have more energy to push yourself in the final stretch and pass your competitors.
Tips
Always breathe through your mouth while you're running. Your body needs as much oxygen as possible as you run, and breathing through your nose is less efficient.[21]
X
Research source
If you have an upcoming race, try to replicate the length and conditions of the race while you train so you’re more prepared. For example, if the course you’ll be racing on is a 5K with a lot of hills, practice running up and down hills and go for 5K long runs.[22]
X
Research source
Warnings
Be careful about overexerting yourself. Start off slow at the beginning of the training season, and gradually increase the duration of your runs so you don’t get fatigued or injured. Let your body recover from intense runs by going for easy runs every other day.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Training for Cross Country\\n1-1. Start training before the cross country season starts.\\nTraining for cross country is a gradual process, so it’s important that you start early to give yourself time to build up your endurance and speed. This is especially important if you haven’t been running at all in the off season. Start training in the summer so you’re better prepared when cross country season starts in the fall. Then, continue training regularly throughout the season.\\nTrain for cross country every day of the week if you’re able to. Aim to do one specific training exercise per day.\\n1-2. Set running goals for yourself to help guide your training.\\nSetting goals will give you something to work towards throughout the season and help you measure how much you’ve improved as a runner. Make your goals specific and come up with a timeline to achieve them within, like by the end of the cross country season.\\nFor example, your goal could be to beat your best time on a 5K race by the end of the season or to run a full race without having to stop.\\n1-3. Incorporate tempo runs into your training.\\nTempo runs are 20-30 minute runs at a pace that’s slightly slower than your racing pace. They should be challenging but not exhausting. Tempo runs are a good way to build your endurance and train your body to handle fast paces over long distances.\\nDo 1 tempo run per week.\\n1-4. Try interval training.\\nInterval training for cross country involves running at a fast pace for a set distance, jogging or walking afterward to recover, and then repeating several times. It’s a good way to improve your running speed. Try interval training once a week during the running season. A few intervals you can try are:\\n400 meters (440 yd) 10 times with a 400 m (440 yd) jog in between intervals.\\n600 meters (660 yd) 6 times with a 200 m (220 yd) jog in between intervals.\\n1,000 meters (1,100 yd) 5 times with a 3-minute walk in between intervals.\\n1-5. Do fartleks to improve your speed.\\nFartlek is a Swedish word for “speed play.” To run a fartlek, run for 30-45 minutes and continue changing your pace throughout. For example, start by jogging for 5 minutes, then sprint for 20 seconds, then slow back down to a jog until you’ve recovered a bit before sprinting again. Continue these pace changes throughout your run. Practicing fartleks will help prepare you for changing your pace during a race.\\nDo fartleks 1 day per week.\\n1-6. Go for long runs.\\nLong runs are 60-90 minute runs that you can do at a conversational pace, or slow enough that you could have a conversation with someone comfortably. The goal is to run the whole time at the same pace without having to stop or slow down. Slow runs are great for improving your endurance. Go for 1 long run per week while you’re training.\\n1-7. Do easy runs every other day of the week to let your body recover.\\nRun at a casual, conversational pace for 30 minutes on your easy days. Taking a break between harder workouts will give your body a chance to recover, which will help prevent injuries and ensure that you’re performing your best. You can also take one day off per week to rest and not run at all.\\nFor example, you could do your easy runs on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Your harder workouts, like interval training, fartleks, and tempo runs, would be on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.\\n1-8. Increase the duration of your exercises as the season progresses.\\nEvery 1-2 weeks, add 5 minutes to each of your runs, including your tempo runs, fartleks, interval training, and long runs. That way, you’ll gradually build up your endurance and speed throughout the running season.\\nFor example, the first week of training you might go for a 60-minute long run. Then, you would go for a 65-minute long run the next week. The following week, your long run would be 70 minutes, and so on.\\n2. Navigating Tough Terrain\\n2-1. Practice good long-distance running form.\\nStand up straight as you run and avoid leaning forward at your waist. Run so your feet land close to your center directly underneath your body. Don’t run using long strides since it puts unnecessary pressure on your legs. You should also keep your elbows bent at 90 degrees or less, and let your arms move naturally forward and backward. Avoid pumping your arms or swinging them far out in front of you. By maintaining good form while you run, you’ll increase your efficiency and be less at risk of injuring yourself.\\n2-2. Invest in a pair of cross country spikes.\\nCross country spikes are shoes designed specifically for cross country running. They have metal spikes on the sole that provide better traction and make running on soft terrains easier. Regular trail shoes can work for cross country, but spikes will give you a competitive edge in races and make you more efficient while training.\\nYou can find cross country spikes online and in shoe stores that sell athletic shoes.\\nRead online reviews of different spikes to see which ones are the best quality within your price range.\\n2-3. Prepare in advance for cold and rainy racing conditions.\\nThere may be times when you find yourself racing in cold, rainy weather. To better prepare, practice running in the cold and the rain throughout the season if you can. That way, you’ll be more mentally and physically comfortable if you have to do it during a race. You’ll also have a better sense of how to pace yourself when it’s cold and raining and you’re drenched.\\nIf you show up to a race and it’s raining, stay as dry as you can until the race starts by wearing a poncho and covering your shoes with plastic bags. The longer you stay dry and warm, the better you’ll perform.\\nWear moisture-wicking layers that are well ventilated if the forecast is looking rainy for a race. You’ll have layers to keep you warm, but you can also take layers off if you start to get overheated.\\n2-4. Stay present while you run to avoid obstacles and injury.\\nCross country running trails can be covered in roots, rocks, mud, branches, and other obstacles that can pose a tripping hazard if you’re not being careful. Whether you’re training or racing, keep your eyes ahead of you on the trail and stay focused so you can avoid obstacles and slow your pace if necessary.\\nAvoid looking straight down at the ground as you run since it will slow you down. Look forward and scan the trail ahead of you instead.\\nDon’t feel bad if you fall during a race—it happens to every runner at some point. If you’re seriously injured or in a lot of pain, ask for help and get medical attention. Otherwise, see if you can get up and finish the race.\\n2-5. Practice running on different types of terrain.\\nCross country races can take place on hills, soft dirt, rocky trails, and other types of terrain. The more comfortable you are running on different trail types, the more prepared you’ll be for races, regardless of where they’re held. Vary what trails you’re training on every week, and look for trails that are different from what you’re used to.\\nFor example, if you usually train on trails that run through a relatively flat park, look for trails that have a lot of inclines that you can train on as well.\\n3. Racing Strategically\\n3-1. Walk the course beforehand if you’re able to.\\nShow up early to the race and try to do a lap around the course. That way, you’ll be familiar with all of the turns, hills, and terrain and can better prepare. Familiarizing yourself with the course will also make it easier to plan how you’re going to pace yourself.\\n3-2. Warm up before the race.\\nA proper warm-up is crucial for getting your body ready for the race and preventing injuries. Before the race starts, go for a slow 10-15 minute jog to warm up your muscles. Then, do some dynamic stretches. Dynamic stretches are stretches that bring your joints and muscles through their full range of motion, and they’re better at getting your body warmed up than static stretches. Some dynamic stretches you can try are:\\nWalking lunges: step forward and bend your knee until your thigh is parallel with the ground and your opposite knee is just above the ground. Then, stand back up and repeat with your opposite leg. Repeat 10 times.\\nLeg swings: hold onto something sturdy and swing one of your legs back and forth 20 times. Have each swing get bigger as you go until you’re using your full range of motion. Then, repeat with your other leg.\\n3-3. Run at an even pace throughout most of the race.\\nSettle into the pace you’ve been training for and stick with it throughout the beginning and middle of the race. If you start out too fast, you’re more likely to lose steam and burn out later on in the race. You can always increase your pace as needed to pass people.\\nBy maintaining a steady pace, you’ll have more energy for the moments when you need to push yourself to run a little faster.\\n3-4. Use hills on the course to your advantage.\\nHills can slow runners down in a race, and if you know how to run up and down them to maximize your speed, it can give you a competitive edge. When you’re approaching a hill, increase your speed so you have more momentum going up it and don’t get slowed down. When you’re going down a hill, don’t slow yourself down. Lean into the downward momentum to take advantage of it and come off the hill at a faster speed.\\nHills are a good opportunity to pass people during a race.\\n3-5. Push yourself during the final stretch.\\nDuring the last 1 mile (1.6 km) of the race, increase your speed as much as you can. This is your last opportunity to pass people or maintain your position in the front.\\nNew cross country runners tend to start out fast and then lose steam by the end of the race. By maintaining a steady, manageable pace at the beginning of the race, you’ll have more energy to push yourself in the final stretch and pass your competitors.\\nTips\\nAlways breathe through your mouth while you're running. Your body needs as much oxygen as possible as you run, and breathing through your nose is less efficient.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIf you have an upcoming race, try to replicate the length and conditions of the race while you train so you’re more prepared. For example, if the course you’ll be racing on is a 5K with a lot of hills, practice running up and down hills and go for 5K long runs.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nBe careful about overexerting yourself. Start off slow at the beginning of the training season, and gradually increase the duration of your runs so you don’t get fatigued or injured. Let your body recover from intense runs by going for easy runs every other day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a great cross country runner requires speed, endurance, and commitment. You’ll need to train hard and practice as much as you can, but once you start seeing yourself improve, it will all be totally worth it. There are simple changes you can make to become a better cross country runner right away, like fine-tuning your running form and strapping on the right shoes. For long-term improvement, you’ll need to stick to a training schedule and set goals for yourself. When it comes time to race, there are a few strategies you can try that will help give you an edge over your competitors.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Training for Cross Country\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start training before the cross country season starts.\", \"描述\": \"Training for cross country is a gradual process, so it’s important that you start early to give yourself time to build up your endurance and speed. This is especially important if you haven’t been running at all in the off season. Start training in the summer so you’re better prepared when cross country season starts in the fall. Then, continue training regularly throughout the season.\\nTrain for cross country every day of the week if you’re able to. Aim to do one specific training exercise per day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set running goals for yourself to help guide your training.\", \"描述\": \"Setting goals will give you something to work towards throughout the season and help you measure how much you’ve improved as a runner. Make your goals specific and come up with a timeline to achieve them within, like by the end of the cross country season.\\nFor example, your goal could be to beat your best time on a 5K race by the end of the season or to run a full race without having to stop.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Incorporate tempo runs into your training.\", \"描述\": \"Tempo runs are 20-30 minute runs at a pace that’s slightly slower than your racing pace. They should be challenging but not exhausting. Tempo runs are a good way to build your endurance and train your body to handle fast paces over long distances.\\nDo 1 tempo run per week.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try interval training.\", \"描述\": \"Interval training for cross country involves running at a fast pace for a set distance, jogging or walking afterward to recover, and then repeating several times. It’s a good way to improve your running speed. Try interval training once a week during the running season. A few intervals you can try are:\\n400 meters (440 yd) 10 times with a 400 m (440 yd) jog in between intervals.\\n600 meters (660 yd) 6 times with a 200 m (220 yd) jog in between intervals.\\n1,000 meters (1,100 yd) 5 times with a 3-minute walk in between intervals.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do fartleks to improve your speed.\", \"描述\": \"Fartlek is a Swedish word for “speed play.” To run a fartlek, run for 30-45 minutes and continue changing your pace throughout. For example, start by jogging for 5 minutes, then sprint for 20 seconds, then slow back down to a jog until you’ve recovered a bit before sprinting again. Continue these pace changes throughout your run. Practicing fartleks will help prepare you for changing your pace during a race.\\nDo fartleks 1 day per week.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go for long runs.\", \"描述\": \"Long runs are 60-90 minute runs that you can do at a conversational pace, or slow enough that you could have a conversation with someone comfortably. The goal is to run the whole time at the same pace without having to stop or slow down. Slow runs are great for improving your endurance. Go for 1 long run per week while you’re training.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Do easy runs every other day of the week to let your body recover.\", \"描述\": \"Run at a casual, conversational pace for 30 minutes on your easy days. Taking a break between harder workouts will give your body a chance to recover, which will help prevent injuries and ensure that you’re performing your best. You can also take one day off per week to rest and not run at all.\\nFor example, you could do your easy runs on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Your harder workouts, like interval training, fartleks, and tempo runs, would be on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Increase the duration of your exercises as the season progresses.\", \"描述\": \"Every 1-2 weeks, add 5 minutes to each of your runs, including your tempo runs, fartleks, interval training, and long runs. That way, you’ll gradually build up your endurance and speed throughout the running season.\\nFor example, the first week of training you might go for a 60-minute long run. Then, you would go for a 65-minute long run the next week. The following week, your long run would be 70 minutes, and so on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Navigating Tough Terrain\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice good long-distance running form.\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight as you run and avoid leaning forward at your waist. Run so your feet land close to your center directly underneath your body. Don’t run using long strides since it puts unnecessary pressure on your legs. You should also keep your elbows bent at 90 degrees or less, and let your arms move naturally forward and backward. Avoid pumping your arms or swinging them far out in front of you. By maintaining good form while you run, you’ll increase your efficiency and be less at risk of injuring yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invest in a pair of cross country spikes.\", \"描述\": \"Cross country spikes are shoes designed specifically for cross country running. They have metal spikes on the sole that provide better traction and make running on soft terrains easier. Regular trail shoes can work for cross country, but spikes will give you a competitive edge in races and make you more efficient while training.\\nYou can find cross country spikes online and in shoe stores that sell athletic shoes.\\nRead online reviews of different spikes to see which ones are the best quality within your price range.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prepare in advance for cold and rainy racing conditions.\", \"描述\": \"There may be times when you find yourself racing in cold, rainy weather. To better prepare, practice running in the cold and the rain throughout the season if you can. That way, you’ll be more mentally and physically comfortable if you have to do it during a race. You’ll also have a better sense of how to pace yourself when it’s cold and raining and you’re drenched.\\nIf you show up to a race and it’s raining, stay as dry as you can until the race starts by wearing a poncho and covering your shoes with plastic bags. The longer you stay dry and warm, the better you’ll perform.\\nWear moisture-wicking layers that are well ventilated if the forecast is looking rainy for a race. You’ll have layers to keep you warm, but you can also take layers off if you start to get overheated.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay present while you run to avoid obstacles and injury.\", \"描述\": \"Cross country running trails can be covered in roots, rocks, mud, branches, and other obstacles that can pose a tripping hazard if you’re not being careful. Whether you’re training or racing, keep your eyes ahead of you on the trail and stay focused so you can avoid obstacles and slow your pace if necessary.\\nAvoid looking straight down at the ground as you run since it will slow you down. Look forward and scan the trail ahead of you instead.\\nDon’t feel bad if you fall during a race—it happens to every runner at some point. If you’re seriously injured or in a lot of pain, ask for help and get medical attention. Otherwise, see if you can get up and finish the race.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice running on different types of terrain.\", \"描述\": \"Cross country races can take place on hills, soft dirt, rocky trails, and other types of terrain. The more comfortable you are running on different trail types, the more prepared you’ll be for races, regardless of where they’re held. Vary what trails you’re training on every week, and look for trails that are different from what you’re used to.\\nFor example, if you usually train on trails that run through a relatively flat park, look for trails that have a lot of inclines that you can train on as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Racing Strategically\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk the course beforehand if you’re able to.\", \"描述\": \"Show up early to the race and try to do a lap around the course. That way, you’ll be familiar with all of the turns, hills, and terrain and can better prepare. Familiarizing yourself with the course will also make it easier to plan how you’re going to pace yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Warm up before the race.\", \"描述\": \"A proper warm-up is crucial for getting your body ready for the race and preventing injuries. Before the race starts, go for a slow 10-15 minute jog to warm up your muscles. Then, do some dynamic stretches. Dynamic stretches are stretches that bring your joints and muscles through their full range of motion, and they’re better at getting your body warmed up than static stretches. Some dynamic stretches you can try are:\\nWalking lunges: step forward and bend your knee until your thigh is parallel with the ground and your opposite knee is just above the ground. Then, stand back up and repeat with your opposite leg. Repeat 10 times.\\nLeg swings: hold onto something sturdy and swing one of your legs back and forth 20 times. Have each swing get bigger as you go until you’re using your full range of motion. Then, repeat with your other leg.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Run at an even pace throughout most of the race.\", \"描述\": \"Settle into the pace you’ve been training for and stick with it throughout the beginning and middle of the race. If you start out too fast, you’re more likely to lose steam and burn out later on in the race. You can always increase your pace as needed to pass people.\\nBy maintaining a steady pace, you’ll have more energy for the moments when you need to push yourself to run a little faster.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use hills on the course to your advantage.\", \"描述\": \"Hills can slow runners down in a race, and if you know how to run up and down them to maximize your speed, it can give you a competitive edge. When you’re approaching a hill, increase your speed so you have more momentum going up it and don’t get slowed down. When you’re going down a hill, don’t slow yourself down. Lean into the downward momentum to take advantage of it and come off the hill at a faster speed.\\nHills are a good opportunity to pass people during a race.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Push yourself during the final stretch.\", \"描述\": \"During the last 1 mile (1.6 km) of the race, increase your speed as much as you can. This is your last opportunity to pass people or maintain your position in the front.\\nNew cross country runners tend to start out fast and then lose steam by the end of the race. By maintaining a steady, manageable pace at the beginning of the race, you’ll have more energy to push yourself in the final stretch and pass your competitors.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always breathe through your mouth while you're running. Your body needs as much oxygen as possible as you run, and breathing through your nose is less efficient.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"If you have an upcoming race, try to replicate the length and conditions of the race while you train so you’re more prepared. For example, if the course you’ll be racing on is a 5K with a lot of hills, practice running up and down hills and go for 5K long runs.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful about overexerting yourself. Start off slow at the beginning of the training season, and gradually increase the duration of your runs so you don’t get fatigued or injured. Let your body recover from intense runs by going for easy runs every other day.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,787 | How to Be Great at Dodgeball | 1. Being a Great Thrower
1-1. Know how to knock out players.
There are several ways that players can be knocked out of the game. It’s important for you to know all of them to strategize your throwing game. These rules provide the foundation for the whole game of dodgeball!
Players who are hit with balls are out. These balls can either be thrown directly at them or will be rebounded balls that hit them after bouncing off the walls, the floor, or another player.
Players who step out of bounds are out.
Players who throw a ball that’s caught are out.
Players who cross into the the other team’s territory are out.
Players who throw headshots are out.
Once you get knocked out, you go into the “queue” to wait to be brought back in when someone on your team catches a ball. The queue goes in order of elimination.
1-2. Coordinate with your teammates.
Even though dodgeball might look like a free-for-all, the best teams work together to make strategies for throwing. Number your opponents from left to right, starting with one and ending with six. Throw multiple balls at one player together to make it harder for your opponents to dodge your attacks.
To organize your group throws, make your corner player the designated “caller.” They can pick a player to target and call out that player’s number. Everyone should wait three seconds and then throw at the targeted player together.
You and your teammates should target one player at a time for the best scoring results. If you start thinking too far ahead about knocking out multiple players, you’ll distract yourself from your immediate goal. Stay focused and patient. You’ll get them all in the end.
1-3. Throw at the strongest players first.
You’re probably tempted to immediately go for the weakest links. This actually isn’t the best strategy. It’s better to go for the best players while you’re at the top of your game. It won’t be good if you have to deal with them at the end when you’re tired and dripping with sweat.
To figure out which players are the strongest and weakest, scout out your opponents before the game. Observe one of their games if you can. If not, see if you can find any descriptions of their team online.
1-4. Get close to the neutral zone to throw tougher balls.
The closer you are to the other side, the more accurate and powerful your throws will be. This will make them much harder to dodge. This is a bit of a dangerous strategy, however, as it also puts you closer to your opponents’ balls. Move fast, throw quickly, and get back to the wall.
Be careful not to cross into your opponents’ territory. This will knock you out of the game.
1-5. Aim low to avoid having your balls get caught.
If you aim at the chest or mid-section, it’ll be much easier for the other team’s players to catch your balls. Go for below the waist, aiming especially for the shins. These throws will be almost impossible to catch. They’ll also force your opponents to jump, which could provide more opportunities to get them out.
If you do aim above the waist, your throws need to be powerful enough to keep your opponents from catching them. Only go with this approach if you have an extremely fast and strong throwing arm.
1-6. Push players on the sides of the court out of bounds.
If you notice that one of the players on the other team is close to being out of bounds, take advantage! It should be the “caller’s” job to make the team target this player with a group throw. Your opponent could be overwhelmed by the attack and step out of bounds by accident. And then they’re out!
1-7. Grip your ball on the side for a sneaky curve ball.
Throwing curve balls can catch your opponents off guard, making it harder for them to dodge your throws. Practice this throw by gripping the ball on the side and throwing it in a half-circle, rather than a straight line. Don’t break this move out in a game until you’ve given yourself plenty of time to perfect it.
Try doing a wrap-around curve ball by wrapping your wrist and hand around the ball and letting it loose. This will take even more practice to master, but it should give you some extra power and curve on the release.
1-8. Throw at an opponent who just threw a ball.
Your opponents are at their most vulnerable right after they’ve thrown the ball. You’ve got a second or two when their attention still isn’t completely re-focused on dodging balls. Target these players.
If they’ve just knocked out one of your teammates, this is a great opportunity for some healthy, in-game revenge.
1-9. Confuse your opponent by looking somewhere else when you throw.
This fake-out should confuse your opponents, and whoever you target won’t be ready for your throw. Be careful with this move, though. Your throw might not be as accurate, since you won’t be looking at your opponent when you release the ball.
This could also be risky because it may give your opponents the chance to take advantage of your divided attention. Even though you’ll still be looking at the other side, you’ll be thinking about where your ball is going to go. This could provide an opening for a sneak attack to catch you off guard.
1-10. Don’t throw headshots.
It’s against the rules, and it’s dangerous. It’s also a bad move, as it knocks you out of the game. Throwing a ball anywhere near the head or neck isn’t worth injuring someone, especially since it could lose you the game anyway.
2. Dodging and Blocking the Ball
2-1. Stay back toward the wall.
This will put lots of distance between you and your opponents, and it’ll make it harder for them to target you. Don’t stand right against the wall, as this could cause deflected or uncaught balls to hit you from behind once they’ve bounced off the wall. Leave a few feet (or about 1 meter) of space behind you.
2-2. Jump high or with split legs.
Since your opponents are probably going to be aiming at your legs, you’ll need to be a good jumper. Practice jumping higher every chance you get. You can also increase your flexibility to split your legs in the air.
2-3. Stay aware of the boundaries.
There’s no more frustrating way to be eliminated than to put a foot out of bounds. Especially if you’re a corner player, stay hyper-aware of your position on the court. This is even more important when you’re dodging, since you’ll won’t be able to dodge in one direction.
2-4. Spread out to make it harder for the other team.
If you clump together in the center of the court, you’re creating a huge and easy target for your opponents. Even if there are just a few of you left, use the whole court. Always evenly space yourselves out. This will give you room to move around and dodge those balls.
2-5. Deflect balls with a blocking ball.
Most teams and leagues will allow blocking. This involves a player who uses one ball to keep other balls from hitting them. For some players, it may be easier to learn how to block balls than to dodge them. You can even have designated “blockers” on your team.
Blockers can also protect their teammates from getting hit.
Keep a good grip on your blocking ball. If you drop it, you’re out!
2-6. Don’t panic if it’s just you left on your side.
This is what’s called on all-on-one. It has to happen eventually for most games to end, so you’ll probably have to go through this at some point. Focus on dodging and look for that perfect catch, as this will bring back one of your teammates.
Stay low and crouched close to the ground during this scary time. This makes you a smaller target.
3. Catching the Ball
3-1. Be ready to catch every ball.
Catching is the underappreciated skill that wins dodgeball games. Remember that catching balls knocks people out just like throwing them. It’s actually better, because now you have another ball to throw and another teammate on your side! Always be prepared to take advantage of this part of the game.
3-2. Avoid trying to catch balls that are out of reach.
Even though you should always be on the lookout for balls you can catch, don’t catch balls that you think you might drop. You drop it, you’re out. If you’d have to reach for the ball even a little bit, let it go.
3-3. Catch the ball with both hands.
Balls that you can catch with both hands are the golden ones. This means that they’re coming right at you. You’ll also be much more likely to keep control of balls that you can catch with both hands, rather than diving for one that you’d barely pull in with your fingertips.
Be sure to catch balls with your whole hand, taking the brunt of the catch on your palms. Fingertip catches are much harder to maintain without dropping them.
3-4. Catch the ball in your chest and cradle it.
Once you’ve got the ball in your hands, bring it into your chest. You may be able to catch some balls with your whole body, and that’s even better. Cradle it there until you’re sure you’ve got control. This will help you avoid dropping it.
3-5. Recover quickly after a catch to avoid being eliminated.
Yay, you caught the ball! Now get moving again. Don’t celebrate, as this is the moment when you’ll find yourself targeted. Immediately after you have control of the ball, get back in the game and be ready to dodge and throw again.
3-6. Don’t stall the game by holding balls.
Stalling occurs when the referee decides that a player is trying to delay the game. Generally, you should be doing something with a ball after having it your hands for a few seconds. This could include blocking, rolling the ball back to the other team, or throwing it. After ten seconds, the ref can call on you for stalling and send you out of the game.
4. Adding Advanced Moves and Tricks
4-1. Have a corner player ready to counter opponents.
Countering is when a player sneaks in from the corner of the court and very quickly moves toward the neutral zone to attack an opposing player. It’s a risky move, and it can only be performed by a single (and brave) countering player. If you’re countering, be speedy and go for the element of surprise.
Reserve countering for when you’ve only got a single ball on your side.
Countering is a good move to break out after there’s been an elimination. Players might be distracted, and this is the time to strike!
4-2. Dive or side-jump to dodge countering.
Because counters are all about speed, they’re hard to dodge. You may not be able to jump fast or high enough straight up into the air to get away from this ball. Do a back dive or side-jump to avoid these tough throws.
Be extremely careful when you do a back dive. These dangerous moves could injure you, especially if you hit your head on the ground. Try and absorb the fall on the fleshy part of your bottom, and keep your head and neck up off the floor.
4-3. Eliminate your opponent by distracting them with two balls.
This tricky move is called the “butterfly and the bee.” Throw one ball up in the air to confuse your opponents. While their attention is on that ball, throw a second ball straight at them.
4-4. Add distractions to your game plan.
Dodgeball can be a fun and even quirky game. If you’re in a league that allows cartwheels and coordinated jumps, do them! You’ll have fun with these slightly weird strategies, and they’ll confuse your opponents.
Time a group jump or a cartwheel by using a codeword.
Make sure that these moves don’t get you eliminated. Only do them if you’re sure you can dodge balls while you’re distracting the other team with your unexpected skills.
4-5. Trick your opponents into throwing you a ball you can catch.
This is called a drop-catch. Hold the ball you’ve got in front of you, inviting the other team to target you. Drop the ball, and catch a ball that’s been thrown at you.
Only do this if it looks like you’ll be able to catch one of the incoming balls. Otherwise, continue dodging the balls, or keep hold of the ball you’ve got to block them.
Tips
If there's another person on your team who’s a better thrower than you are, give them the ball! Teamwork is key to dodgeball.
Always check to make sure your shoes are tied before games and practices. Don’t let your shoes get too old before replacing them, as you need good traction to play dodgeball.
Remember to warm up and cool down before and after the games for about 10-15 minutes.
Warnings
Be aware that you may be injured while you play dodgeball. If you respect the rules, however, you, your teammates, and your opponents will be less likely to get seriously injured.
If a ball comes for your head, duck to protect yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being a Great Thrower\\n1-1. Know how to knock out players.\\nThere are several ways that players can be knocked out of the game. It’s important for you to know all of them to strategize your throwing game. These rules provide the foundation for the whole game of dodgeball!\\nPlayers who are hit with balls are out. These balls can either be thrown directly at them or will be rebounded balls that hit them after bouncing off the walls, the floor, or another player.\\nPlayers who step out of bounds are out.\\nPlayers who throw a ball that’s caught are out.\\nPlayers who cross into the the other team’s territory are out.\\nPlayers who throw headshots are out.\\nOnce you get knocked out, you go into the “queue” to wait to be brought back in when someone on your team catches a ball. The queue goes in order of elimination.\\n1-2. Coordinate with your teammates.\\nEven though dodgeball might look like a free-for-all, the best teams work together to make strategies for throwing. Number your opponents from left to right, starting with one and ending with six. Throw multiple balls at one player together to make it harder for your opponents to dodge your attacks.\\nTo organize your group throws, make your corner player the designated “caller.” They can pick a player to target and call out that player’s number. Everyone should wait three seconds and then throw at the targeted player together.\\nYou and your teammates should target one player at a time for the best scoring results. If you start thinking too far ahead about knocking out multiple players, you’ll distract yourself from your immediate goal. Stay focused and patient. You’ll get them all in the end.\\n1-3. Throw at the strongest players first.\\nYou’re probably tempted to immediately go for the weakest links. This actually isn’t the best strategy. It’s better to go for the best players while you’re at the top of your game. It won’t be good if you have to deal with them at the end when you’re tired and dripping with sweat.\\nTo figure out which players are the strongest and weakest, scout out your opponents before the game. Observe one of their games if you can. If not, see if you can find any descriptions of their team online.\\n1-4. Get close to the neutral zone to throw tougher balls.\\nThe closer you are to the other side, the more accurate and powerful your throws will be. This will make them much harder to dodge. This is a bit of a dangerous strategy, however, as it also puts you closer to your opponents’ balls. Move fast, throw quickly, and get back to the wall.\\nBe careful not to cross into your opponents’ territory. This will knock you out of the game.\\n1-5. Aim low to avoid having your balls get caught.\\nIf you aim at the chest or mid-section, it’ll be much easier for the other team’s players to catch your balls. Go for below the waist, aiming especially for the shins. These throws will be almost impossible to catch. They’ll also force your opponents to jump, which could provide more opportunities to get them out.\\nIf you do aim above the waist, your throws need to be powerful enough to keep your opponents from catching them. Only go with this approach if you have an extremely fast and strong throwing arm.\\n1-6. Push players on the sides of the court out of bounds.\\nIf you notice that one of the players on the other team is close to being out of bounds, take advantage! It should be the “caller’s” job to make the team target this player with a group throw. Your opponent could be overwhelmed by the attack and step out of bounds by accident. And then they’re out!\\n1-7. Grip your ball on the side for a sneaky curve ball.\\nThrowing curve balls can catch your opponents off guard, making it harder for them to dodge your throws. Practice this throw by gripping the ball on the side and throwing it in a half-circle, rather than a straight line. Don’t break this move out in a game until you’ve given yourself plenty of time to perfect it.\\nTry doing a wrap-around curve ball by wrapping your wrist and hand around the ball and letting it loose. This will take even more practice to master, but it should give you some extra power and curve on the release.\\n1-8. Throw at an opponent who just threw a ball.\\nYour opponents are at their most vulnerable right after they’ve thrown the ball. You’ve got a second or two when their attention still isn’t completely re-focused on dodging balls. Target these players.\\nIf they’ve just knocked out one of your teammates, this is a great opportunity for some healthy, in-game revenge.\\n1-9. Confuse your opponent by looking somewhere else when you throw.\\nThis fake-out should confuse your opponents, and whoever you target won’t be ready for your throw. Be careful with this move, though. Your throw might not be as accurate, since you won’t be looking at your opponent when you release the ball.\\nThis could also be risky because it may give your opponents the chance to take advantage of your divided attention. Even though you’ll still be looking at the other side, you’ll be thinking about where your ball is going to go. This could provide an opening for a sneak attack to catch you off guard.\\n1-10. Don’t throw headshots.\\nIt’s against the rules, and it’s dangerous. It’s also a bad move, as it knocks you out of the game. Throwing a ball anywhere near the head or neck isn’t worth injuring someone, especially since it could lose you the game anyway.\\n2. Dodging and Blocking the Ball\\n2-1. Stay back toward the wall.\\nThis will put lots of distance between you and your opponents, and it’ll make it harder for them to target you. Don’t stand right against the wall, as this could cause deflected or uncaught balls to hit you from behind once they’ve bounced off the wall. Leave a few feet (or about 1 meter) of space behind you.\\n2-2. Jump high or with split legs.\\nSince your opponents are probably going to be aiming at your legs, you’ll need to be a good jumper. Practice jumping higher every chance you get. You can also increase your flexibility to split your legs in the air.\\n2-3. Stay aware of the boundaries.\\nThere’s no more frustrating way to be eliminated than to put a foot out of bounds. Especially if you’re a corner player, stay hyper-aware of your position on the court. This is even more important when you’re dodging, since you’ll won’t be able to dodge in one direction.\\n2-4. Spread out to make it harder for the other team.\\nIf you clump together in the center of the court, you’re creating a huge and easy target for your opponents. Even if there are just a few of you left, use the whole court. Always evenly space yourselves out. This will give you room to move around and dodge those balls.\\n2-5. Deflect balls with a blocking ball.\\nMost teams and leagues will allow blocking. This involves a player who uses one ball to keep other balls from hitting them. For some players, it may be easier to learn how to block balls than to dodge them. You can even have designated “blockers” on your team.\\nBlockers can also protect their teammates from getting hit.\\nKeep a good grip on your blocking ball. If you drop it, you’re out!\\n2-6. Don’t panic if it’s just you left on your side.\\nThis is what’s called on all-on-one. It has to happen eventually for most games to end, so you’ll probably have to go through this at some point. Focus on dodging and look for that perfect catch, as this will bring back one of your teammates.\\nStay low and crouched close to the ground during this scary time. This makes you a smaller target.\\n3. Catching the Ball\\n3-1. Be ready to catch every ball.\\nCatching is the underappreciated skill that wins dodgeball games. Remember that catching balls knocks people out just like throwing them. It’s actually better, because now you have another ball to throw and another teammate on your side! Always be prepared to take advantage of this part of the game.\\n3-2. Avoid trying to catch balls that are out of reach.\\nEven though you should always be on the lookout for balls you can catch, don’t catch balls that you think you might drop. You drop it, you’re out. If you’d have to reach for the ball even a little bit, let it go.\\n3-3. Catch the ball with both hands.\\nBalls that you can catch with both hands are the golden ones. This means that they’re coming right at you. You’ll also be much more likely to keep control of balls that you can catch with both hands, rather than diving for one that you’d barely pull in with your fingertips.\\nBe sure to catch balls with your whole hand, taking the brunt of the catch on your palms. Fingertip catches are much harder to maintain without dropping them.\\n3-4. Catch the ball in your chest and cradle it.\\nOnce you’ve got the ball in your hands, bring it into your chest. You may be able to catch some balls with your whole body, and that’s even better. Cradle it there until you’re sure you’ve got control. This will help you avoid dropping it.\\n3-5. Recover quickly after a catch to avoid being eliminated.\\nYay, you caught the ball! Now get moving again. Don’t celebrate, as this is the moment when you’ll find yourself targeted. Immediately after you have control of the ball, get back in the game and be ready to dodge and throw again.\\n3-6. Don’t stall the game by holding balls.\\nStalling occurs when the referee decides that a player is trying to delay the game. Generally, you should be doing something with a ball after having it your hands for a few seconds. This could include blocking, rolling the ball back to the other team, or throwing it. After ten seconds, the ref can call on you for stalling and send you out of the game.\\n4. Adding Advanced Moves and Tricks\\n4-1. Have a corner player ready to counter opponents.\\nCountering is when a player sneaks in from the corner of the court and very quickly moves toward the neutral zone to attack an opposing player. It’s a risky move, and it can only be performed by a single (and brave) countering player. If you’re countering, be speedy and go for the element of surprise.\\nReserve countering for when you’ve only got a single ball on your side.\\nCountering is a good move to break out after there’s been an elimination. Players might be distracted, and this is the time to strike!\\n4-2. Dive or side-jump to dodge countering.\\nBecause counters are all about speed, they’re hard to dodge. You may not be able to jump fast or high enough straight up into the air to get away from this ball. Do a back dive or side-jump to avoid these tough throws.\\nBe extremely careful when you do a back dive. These dangerous moves could injure you, especially if you hit your head on the ground. Try and absorb the fall on the fleshy part of your bottom, and keep your head and neck up off the floor.\\n4-3. Eliminate your opponent by distracting them with two balls.\\nThis tricky move is called the “butterfly and the bee.” Throw one ball up in the air to confuse your opponents. While their attention is on that ball, throw a second ball straight at them.\\n4-4. Add distractions to your game plan.\\nDodgeball can be a fun and even quirky game. If you’re in a league that allows cartwheels and coordinated jumps, do them! You’ll have fun with these slightly weird strategies, and they’ll confuse your opponents.\\nTime a group jump or a cartwheel by using a codeword.\\nMake sure that these moves don’t get you eliminated. Only do them if you’re sure you can dodge balls while you’re distracting the other team with your unexpected skills.\\n4-5. Trick your opponents into throwing you a ball you can catch.\\nThis is called a drop-catch. Hold the ball you’ve got in front of you, inviting the other team to target you. Drop the ball, and catch a ball that’s been thrown at you.\\nOnly do this if it looks like you’ll be able to catch one of the incoming balls. Otherwise, continue dodging the balls, or keep hold of the ball you’ve got to block them.\\nTips\\nIf there's another person on your team who’s a better thrower than you are, give them the ball! Teamwork is key to dodgeball.\\nAlways check to make sure your shoes are tied before games and practices. Don’t let your shoes get too old before replacing them, as you need good traction to play dodgeball.\\nRemember to warm up and cool down before and after the games for about 10-15 minutes.\\nWarnings\\nBe aware that you may be injured while you play dodgeball. If you respect the rules, however, you, your teammates, and your opponents will be less likely to get seriously injured.\\nIf a ball comes for your head, duck to protect yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Dodgeball is a fun and fast-paced game for both kids and adults. To win the game, dodge the ball! This sounds simple, but there are actually lots of ways to be a tougher, better player and to make the game more competitive. If you spend some time learning and practicing skills to take your game to the next level, you’ll quickly become your teammates’ favorite dodgeball player!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being a Great Thrower\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know how to knock out players.\", \"描述\": \"There are several ways that players can be knocked out of the game. It’s important for you to know all of them to strategize your throwing game. These rules provide the foundation for the whole game of dodgeball!\\nPlayers who are hit with balls are out. These balls can either be thrown directly at them or will be rebounded balls that hit them after bouncing off the walls, the floor, or another player.\\nPlayers who step out of bounds are out.\\nPlayers who throw a ball that’s caught are out.\\nPlayers who cross into the the other team’s territory are out.\\nPlayers who throw headshots are out.\\nOnce you get knocked out, you go into the “queue” to wait to be brought back in when someone on your team catches a ball. The queue goes in order of elimination.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Coordinate with your teammates.\", \"描述\": \"Even though dodgeball might look like a free-for-all, the best teams work together to make strategies for throwing. Number your opponents from left to right, starting with one and ending with six. Throw multiple balls at one player together to make it harder for your opponents to dodge your attacks.\\nTo organize your group throws, make your corner player the designated “caller.” They can pick a player to target and call out that player’s number. Everyone should wait three seconds and then throw at the targeted player together.\\nYou and your teammates should target one player at a time for the best scoring results. If you start thinking too far ahead about knocking out multiple players, you’ll distract yourself from your immediate goal. Stay focused and patient. You’ll get them all in the end.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Throw at the strongest players first.\", \"描述\": \"You’re probably tempted to immediately go for the weakest links. This actually isn’t the best strategy. It’s better to go for the best players while you’re at the top of your game. It won’t be good if you have to deal with them at the end when you’re tired and dripping with sweat.\\nTo figure out which players are the strongest and weakest, scout out your opponents before the game. Observe one of their games if you can. If not, see if you can find any descriptions of their team online.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get close to the neutral zone to throw tougher balls.\", \"描述\": \"The closer you are to the other side, the more accurate and powerful your throws will be. This will make them much harder to dodge. This is a bit of a dangerous strategy, however, as it also puts you closer to your opponents’ balls. Move fast, throw quickly, and get back to the wall.\\nBe careful not to cross into your opponents’ territory. This will knock you out of the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Aim low to avoid having your balls get caught.\", \"描述\": \"If you aim at the chest or mid-section, it’ll be much easier for the other team’s players to catch your balls. Go for below the waist, aiming especially for the shins. These throws will be almost impossible to catch. They’ll also force your opponents to jump, which could provide more opportunities to get them out.\\nIf you do aim above the waist, your throws need to be powerful enough to keep your opponents from catching them. Only go with this approach if you have an extremely fast and strong throwing arm.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Push players on the sides of the court out of bounds.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice that one of the players on the other team is close to being out of bounds, take advantage! It should be the “caller’s” job to make the team target this player with a group throw. Your opponent could be overwhelmed by the attack and step out of bounds by accident. And then they’re out!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Grip your ball on the side for a sneaky curve ball.\", \"描述\": \"Throwing curve balls can catch your opponents off guard, making it harder for them to dodge your throws. Practice this throw by gripping the ball on the side and throwing it in a half-circle, rather than a straight line. Don’t break this move out in a game until you’ve given yourself plenty of time to perfect it.\\nTry doing a wrap-around curve ball by wrapping your wrist and hand around the ball and letting it loose. This will take even more practice to master, but it should give you some extra power and curve on the release.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Throw at an opponent who just threw a ball.\", \"描述\": \"Your opponents are at their most vulnerable right after they’ve thrown the ball. You’ve got a second or two when their attention still isn’t completely re-focused on dodging balls. Target these players.\\nIf they’ve just knocked out one of your teammates, this is a great opportunity for some healthy, in-game revenge.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Confuse your opponent by looking somewhere else when you throw.\", \"描述\": \"This fake-out should confuse your opponents, and whoever you target won’t be ready for your throw. Be careful with this move, though. Your throw might not be as accurate, since you won’t be looking at your opponent when you release the ball.\\nThis could also be risky because it may give your opponents the chance to take advantage of your divided attention. Even though you’ll still be looking at the other side, you’ll be thinking about where your ball is going to go. This could provide an opening for a sneak attack to catch you off guard.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don’t throw headshots.\", \"描述\": \"It’s against the rules, and it’s dangerous. It’s also a bad move, as it knocks you out of the game. Throwing a ball anywhere near the head or neck isn’t worth injuring someone, especially since it could lose you the game anyway.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dodging and Blocking the Ball\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay back toward the wall.\", \"描述\": \"This will put lots of distance between you and your opponents, and it’ll make it harder for them to target you. Don’t stand right against the wall, as this could cause deflected or uncaught balls to hit you from behind once they’ve bounced off the wall. Leave a few feet (or about 1 meter) of space behind you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Jump high or with split legs.\", \"描述\": \"Since your opponents are probably going to be aiming at your legs, you’ll need to be a good jumper. Practice jumping higher every chance you get. You can also increase your flexibility to split your legs in the air.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay aware of the boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"There’s no more frustrating way to be eliminated than to put a foot out of bounds. Especially if you’re a corner player, stay hyper-aware of your position on the court. This is even more important when you’re dodging, since you’ll won’t be able to dodge in one direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spread out to make it harder for the other team.\", \"描述\": \"If you clump together in the center of the court, you’re creating a huge and easy target for your opponents. Even if there are just a few of you left, use the whole court. Always evenly space yourselves out. This will give you room to move around and dodge those balls.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Deflect balls with a blocking ball.\", \"描述\": \"Most teams and leagues will allow blocking. This involves a player who uses one ball to keep other balls from hitting them. For some players, it may be easier to learn how to block balls than to dodge them. You can even have designated “blockers” on your team.\\nBlockers can also protect their teammates from getting hit.\\nKeep a good grip on your blocking ball. If you drop it, you’re out!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t panic if it’s just you left on your side.\", \"描述\": \"This is what’s called on all-on-one. It has to happen eventually for most games to end, so you’ll probably have to go through this at some point. Focus on dodging and look for that perfect catch, as this will bring back one of your teammates.\\nStay low and crouched close to the ground during this scary time. This makes you a smaller target.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Catching the Ball\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be ready to catch every ball.\", \"描述\": \"Catching is the underappreciated skill that wins dodgeball games. Remember that catching balls knocks people out just like throwing them. It’s actually better, because now you have another ball to throw and another teammate on your side! Always be prepared to take advantage of this part of the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid trying to catch balls that are out of reach.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you should always be on the lookout for balls you can catch, don’t catch balls that you think you might drop. You drop it, you’re out. If you’d have to reach for the ball even a little bit, let it go.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Catch the ball with both hands.\", \"描述\": \"Balls that you can catch with both hands are the golden ones. This means that they’re coming right at you. You’ll also be much more likely to keep control of balls that you can catch with both hands, rather than diving for one that you’d barely pull in with your fingertips.\\nBe sure to catch balls with your whole hand, taking the brunt of the catch on your palms. Fingertip catches are much harder to maintain without dropping them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Catch the ball in your chest and cradle it.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve got the ball in your hands, bring it into your chest. You may be able to catch some balls with your whole body, and that’s even better. Cradle it there until you’re sure you’ve got control. This will help you avoid dropping it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recover quickly after a catch to avoid being eliminated.\", \"描述\": \"Yay, you caught the ball! Now get moving again. Don’t celebrate, as this is the moment when you’ll find yourself targeted. Immediately after you have control of the ball, get back in the game and be ready to dodge and throw again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t stall the game by holding balls.\", \"描述\": \"Stalling occurs when the referee decides that a player is trying to delay the game. Generally, you should be doing something with a ball after having it your hands for a few seconds. This could include blocking, rolling the ball back to the other team, or throwing it. After ten seconds, the ref can call on you for stalling and send you out of the game.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adding Advanced Moves and Tricks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a corner player ready to counter opponents.\", \"描述\": \"Countering is when a player sneaks in from the corner of the court and very quickly moves toward the neutral zone to attack an opposing player. It’s a risky move, and it can only be performed by a single (and brave) countering player. If you’re countering, be speedy and go for the element of surprise.\\nReserve countering for when you’ve only got a single ball on your side.\\nCountering is a good move to break out after there’s been an elimination. Players might be distracted, and this is the time to strike!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dive or side-jump to dodge countering.\", \"描述\": \"Because counters are all about speed, they’re hard to dodge. You may not be able to jump fast or high enough straight up into the air to get away from this ball. Do a back dive or side-jump to avoid these tough throws.\\nBe extremely careful when you do a back dive. These dangerous moves could injure you, especially if you hit your head on the ground. Try and absorb the fall on the fleshy part of your bottom, and keep your head and neck up off the floor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eliminate your opponent by distracting them with two balls.\", \"描述\": \"This tricky move is called the “butterfly and the bee.” Throw one ball up in the air to confuse your opponents. While their attention is on that ball, throw a second ball straight at them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add distractions to your game plan.\", \"描述\": \"Dodgeball can be a fun and even quirky game. If you’re in a league that allows cartwheels and coordinated jumps, do them! You’ll have fun with these slightly weird strategies, and they’ll confuse your opponents.\\nTime a group jump or a cartwheel by using a codeword.\\nMake sure that these moves don’t get you eliminated. Only do them if you’re sure you can dodge balls while you’re distracting the other team with your unexpected skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Trick your opponents into throwing you a ball you can catch.\", \"描述\": \"This is called a drop-catch. Hold the ball you’ve got in front of you, inviting the other team to target you. Drop the ball, and catch a ball that’s been thrown at you.\\nOnly do this if it looks like you’ll be able to catch one of the incoming balls. Otherwise, continue dodging the balls, or keep hold of the ball you’ve got to block them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If there's another person on your team who’s a better thrower than you are, give them the ball! Teamwork is key to dodgeball.\\n\", \"Always check to make sure your shoes are tied before games and practices. Don’t let your shoes get too old before replacing them, as you need good traction to play dodgeball.\\n\", \"Remember to warm up and cool down before and after the games for about 10-15 minutes.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be aware that you may be injured while you play dodgeball. If you respect the rules, however, you, your teammates, and your opponents will be less likely to get seriously injured.\\n\", \"If a ball comes for your head, duck to protect yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,788 | How to Be Great at Rome Total War | 1. Getting funds
Start by boosting your cities to its highest possible tax rate without having it revolt against you.
If, however, you want that that city to grow and don't mind making a little bit less every turn, move it to the lowest tax rate until you upgrade it.
2. Building structures
2-1. Build.
As long as you have the money, try to make sure that all of your settlements have at least one building being produced on the construction panel.
2-2. Start building by creating whichever religious structure you want.
If you have conquered a city and it already has a religious structure from a different culture, destroy it and build your own. The only exception to this is when that city's happiness rating is too low to last a turn without that building without revolting.
2-3. Build your structures in order of how many turns it will take to complete, from smallest to largest.
However, if you have the ability to upgrade the city and the citizens are becoming too restless, delay whichever current structure you are building with the new one that will advance your city.
3. Forming links
Produce a diplomat and establish communication with as many cultures as possible.
It's good to build some strong allies early. Don't ally yourself with a faction though if you plan on waging war on them any time soon.
4. Building your army
Note that when building an army, always try to equip it with a wide variety of warriors.
Include spearmen to defend against cavalry, heavy infantry to combat the enemy's spearmen and other infantry, cavalry to outmaneuver your enemy or to match theirs, archers or javelin-men to harass your enemy before your melee units engage, and when you have a city advanced enough to build some, siege equipment to attack a town without waiting another turn or more.
5. Besieging
5-1. Remember that while besieging an enemy town, make your weakest troops command the siege engines you build at the town (siege towers, rams, etc.
) unless they are at risk from being attacked by the outside. You don't want your best unit to be cut down by arrows before even engaging the enemy. When you've brought siege equipment, such as onagers and ballistate, try not to destroy any buildings that appear in the campaign map. When you've finally broken the gate or a section of their wall, you should group the units you plan to send in and press Shift+8 to move them into column formation. This is best for storming a city.
5-2. After conquering a city, see what the city's happiness level is before you decide what to do with its citizens by looking at its window through the space between the information scroll and the edge of the screen.
If it's red, you should massacre or enslave the citizens. In that situation, massacre them. If it's blue, enslave them. If it's yellow, you could still enslave them just in case. If it's green, neither massacre nor enslavement is necessary, but then again, you are the king, so it's completely up to you.
6. Responding when under siege
6-1. When one of your cities is under siege, command the battle yourself, no matter what the odds.
It is possible to defend a city with 21 weak Greek Cavaliers against 350 Macedonian spearmen and archers and win with 15 men remaining and your general still alive. When you're the one whose city is about to be stormed, place the troops with the strongest defence near the place where the enemy has penetrated your city, and put them into guard mode. There are all types of different methods you can attempt to try to save your city. Something that often works is to put some spearmen a few yards back from wherever the enemy has come in and let them advance. Then, order any swordsmen, no matter how strong or weak, to attack it's now unprotected flanks since it is trapped between your defending army and the gate.
6-2. Battles are often won before the opposing armies ever see each other.
Always try to place your army on a hilltop when it's about to be attacked. This hill will be on the battle map as well, and the slope could be the difference between defeat and victory.
6-3. Control where your ranged units are firing.
Leaving your ranged units on fire-at-will can cause them to fire and hit your own men if they are close to the enemy.
6-4. Manipulate your enemy with decoys and bait.
Put yourself into win-win situations.
6-5. Take care when around chariots.
Chariots on the run can still cause casualties to you by the blades on their wheels.
6-6. Use morale.
Morale is as much a weapon as any conventional one, don't overlook it.
7. Expansion
7-1. When choosing where to expand, always keep in mind two factors.
The first is military, take over a settlement to make defending your empire easier, or to weaken an enemy. The second, and most important, is economics. Your main drive in attacking a settlement is to make more money, either by opening up new trade routes or merely adding more people to tax.
7-2. Use forts, they can be priceless in their ability to keep enemies out of your territory, to seal mountain passes and shut down bridges.
Only family members (Generals with portraits) can build forts. These forts must be manned by at least one unit at all times, or they will fall into disrepair, and disappear. Forts can be used to prevent war, and they also makes sure you'll be calling the shots once it starts.
Tips
If one of your cities ever catches the plague, don't move any men inside of that city into another one, as it will spread the disease. However, one thing you can do to spread it to your enemy is to build a spy in that city and then move that spy into an enemy settlement. Since it is the only unit that can penetrate a town without taking it over, it will infect that town.
In battle, use every opportunity you can to conceal your troops in a forest (some can hide in long grass too), even if you already have an advantage. Place your visible troops behind where the forest is and then have the hidden troops ambush the enemy when the come near, sandwiching them between your two forces.
Remember that foreign (not your own faction) temples cannot be upgraded. If you have a shrine in a Huge city, your first action should be to build a new temple.
Warnings
Attack the city of Carthage,Patavium, or Thapsus without a strong economy may have you spending thousands of denarii trying to keep the people happy. On the contrary, taking over Carthage early in the campaign can give you a lot of advantages. The city of Carthage is usually more advanced than the other settlements you start with. This gives you the advantage of being able to train more advanced units. It may be your first settlement to make it to "Huge" status. Also, Carthage can be a huge money maker. It's also a relatively safe place to raise up armies which you can export to Rome, Greece, and other places.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting funds\\nStart by boosting your cities to its highest possible tax rate without having it revolt against you.\\nIf, however, you want that that city to grow and don't mind making a little bit less every turn, move it to the lowest tax rate until you upgrade it.\\n2. Building structures\\n2-1. Build.\\nAs long as you have the money, try to make sure that all of your settlements have at least one building being produced on the construction panel.\\n2-2. Start building by creating whichever religious structure you want.\\nIf you have conquered a city and it already has a religious structure from a different culture, destroy it and build your own. The only exception to this is when that city's happiness rating is too low to last a turn without that building without revolting.\\n2-3. Build your structures in order of how many turns it will take to complete, from smallest to largest.\\nHowever, if you have the ability to upgrade the city and the citizens are becoming too restless, delay whichever current structure you are building with the new one that will advance your city.\\n3. Forming links\\nProduce a diplomat and establish communication with as many cultures as possible.\\nIt's good to build some strong allies early. Don't ally yourself with a faction though if you plan on waging war on them any time soon.\\n4. Building your army\\nNote that when building an army, always try to equip it with a wide variety of warriors.\\nInclude spearmen to defend against cavalry, heavy infantry to combat the enemy's spearmen and other infantry, cavalry to outmaneuver your enemy or to match theirs, archers or javelin-men to harass your enemy before your melee units engage, and when you have a city advanced enough to build some, siege equipment to attack a town without waiting another turn or more.\\n5. Besieging\\n5-1. Remember that while besieging an enemy town, make your weakest troops command the siege engines you build at the town (siege towers, rams, etc.\\n) unless they are at risk from being attacked by the outside. You don't want your best unit to be cut down by arrows before even engaging the enemy. When you've brought siege equipment, such as onagers and ballistate, try not to destroy any buildings that appear in the campaign map. When you've finally broken the gate or a section of their wall, you should group the units you plan to send in and press Shift+8 to move them into column formation. This is best for storming a city.\\n5-2. After conquering a city, see what the city's happiness level is before you decide what to do with its citizens by looking at its window through the space between the information scroll and the edge of the screen.\\nIf it's red, you should massacre or enslave the citizens. In that situation, massacre them. If it's blue, enslave them. If it's yellow, you could still enslave them just in case. If it's green, neither massacre nor enslavement is necessary, but then again, you are the king, so it's completely up to you.\\n6. Responding when under siege\\n6-1. When one of your cities is under siege, command the battle yourself, no matter what the odds.\\nIt is possible to defend a city with 21 weak Greek Cavaliers against 350 Macedonian spearmen and archers and win with 15 men remaining and your general still alive. When you're the one whose city is about to be stormed, place the troops with the strongest defence near the place where the enemy has penetrated your city, and put them into guard mode. There are all types of different methods you can attempt to try to save your city. Something that often works is to put some spearmen a few yards back from wherever the enemy has come in and let them advance. Then, order any swordsmen, no matter how strong or weak, to attack it's now unprotected flanks since it is trapped between your defending army and the gate.\\n6-2. Battles are often won before the opposing armies ever see each other.\\nAlways try to place your army on a hilltop when it's about to be attacked. This hill will be on the battle map as well, and the slope could be the difference between defeat and victory.\\n6-3. Control where your ranged units are firing.\\nLeaving your ranged units on fire-at-will can cause them to fire and hit your own men if they are close to the enemy.\\n6-4. Manipulate your enemy with decoys and bait.\\nPut yourself into win-win situations.\\n6-5. Take care when around chariots.\\nChariots on the run can still cause casualties to you by the blades on their wheels.\\n6-6. Use morale.\\nMorale is as much a weapon as any conventional one, don't overlook it.\\n7. Expansion\\n7-1. When choosing where to expand, always keep in mind two factors.\\nThe first is military, take over a settlement to make defending your empire easier, or to weaken an enemy. The second, and most important, is economics. Your main drive in attacking a settlement is to make more money, either by opening up new trade routes or merely adding more people to tax.\\n7-2. Use forts, they can be priceless in their ability to keep enemies out of your territory, to seal mountain passes and shut down bridges.\\nOnly family members (Generals with portraits) can build forts. These forts must be manned by at least one unit at all times, or they will fall into disrepair, and disappear. Forts can be used to prevent war, and they also makes sure you'll be calling the shots once it starts.\\nTips\\nIf one of your cities ever catches the plague, don't move any men inside of that city into another one, as it will spread the disease. However, one thing you can do to spread it to your enemy is to build a spy in that city and then move that spy into an enemy settlement. Since it is the only unit that can penetrate a town without taking it over, it will infect that town.\\nIn battle, use every opportunity you can to conceal your troops in a forest (some can hide in long grass too), even if you already have an advantage. Place your visible troops behind where the forest is and then have the hidden troops ambush the enemy when the come near, sandwiching them between your two forces.\\nRemember that foreign (not your own faction) temples cannot be upgraded. If you have a shrine in a Huge city, your first action should be to build a new temple.\\nWarnings\\nAttack the city of Carthage,Patavium, or Thapsus without a strong economy may have you spending thousands of denarii trying to keep the people happy. On the contrary, taking over Carthage early in the campaign can give you a lot of advantages. The city of Carthage is usually more advanced than the other settlements you start with. This gives you the advantage of being able to train more advanced units. It may be your first settlement to make it to \\\"Huge\\\" status. Also, Carthage can be a huge money maker. It's also a relatively safe place to raise up armies which you can export to Rome, Greece, and other places.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Enjoy playing Rome but overwhelmed by all the different aspects to manage? Follow this guide and you'll make Caesar look like a Gallic catamite!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting funds\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by boosting your cities to its highest possible tax rate without having it revolt against you.\", \"描述\": \"If, however, you want that that city to grow and don't mind making a little bit less every turn, move it to the lowest tax rate until you upgrade it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building structures\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build.\", \"描述\": \"As long as you have the money, try to make sure that all of your settlements have at least one building being produced on the construction panel.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start building by creating whichever religious structure you want.\", \"描述\": \"If you have conquered a city and it already has a religious structure from a different culture, destroy it and build your own. The only exception to this is when that city's happiness rating is too low to last a turn without that building without revolting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build your structures in order of how many turns it will take to complete, from smallest to largest.\", \"描述\": \"However, if you have the ability to upgrade the city and the citizens are becoming too restless, delay whichever current structure you are building with the new one that will advance your city.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forming links\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Produce a diplomat and establish communication with as many cultures as possible.\", \"描述\": \"It's good to build some strong allies early. Don't ally yourself with a faction though if you plan on waging war on them any time soon.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Building your army\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Note that when building an army, always try to equip it with a wide variety of warriors.\", \"描述\": \"Include spearmen to defend against cavalry, heavy infantry to combat the enemy's spearmen and other infantry, cavalry to outmaneuver your enemy or to match theirs, archers or javelin-men to harass your enemy before your melee units engage, and when you have a city advanced enough to build some, siege equipment to attack a town without waiting another turn or more.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Besieging\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that while besieging an enemy town, make your weakest troops command the siege engines you build at the town (siege towers, rams, etc.\", \"描述\": \") unless they are at risk from being attacked by the outside. You don't want your best unit to be cut down by arrows before even engaging the enemy. When you've brought siege equipment, such as onagers and ballistate, try not to destroy any buildings that appear in the campaign map. When you've finally broken the gate or a section of their wall, you should group the units you plan to send in and press Shift+8 to move them into column formation. This is best for storming a city.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"After conquering a city, see what the city's happiness level is before you decide what to do with its citizens by looking at its window through the space between the information scroll and the edge of the screen.\", \"描述\": \"If it's red, you should massacre or enslave the citizens. In that situation, massacre them. If it's blue, enslave them. If it's yellow, you could still enslave them just in case. If it's green, neither massacre nor enslavement is necessary, but then again, you are the king, so it's completely up to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Responding when under siege\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When one of your cities is under siege, command the battle yourself, no matter what the odds.\", \"描述\": \"It is possible to defend a city with 21 weak Greek Cavaliers against 350 Macedonian spearmen and archers and win with 15 men remaining and your general still alive. When you're the one whose city is about to be stormed, place the troops with the strongest defence near the place where the enemy has penetrated your city, and put them into guard mode. There are all types of different methods you can attempt to try to save your city. Something that often works is to put some spearmen a few yards back from wherever the enemy has come in and let them advance. Then, order any swordsmen, no matter how strong or weak, to attack it's now unprotected flanks since it is trapped between your defending army and the gate.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Battles are often won before the opposing armies ever see each other.\", \"描述\": \"Always try to place your army on a hilltop when it's about to be attacked. This hill will be on the battle map as well, and the slope could be the difference between defeat and victory.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Control where your ranged units are firing.\", \"描述\": \"Leaving your ranged units on fire-at-will can cause them to fire and hit your own men if they are close to the enemy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Manipulate your enemy with decoys and bait.\", \"描述\": \"Put yourself into win-win situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take care when around chariots.\", \"描述\": \"Chariots on the run can still cause casualties to you by the blades on their wheels.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use morale.\", \"描述\": \"Morale is as much a weapon as any conventional one, don't overlook it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Expansion\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When choosing where to expand, always keep in mind two factors.\", \"描述\": \"The first is military, take over a settlement to make defending your empire easier, or to weaken an enemy. The second, and most important, is economics. Your main drive in attacking a settlement is to make more money, either by opening up new trade routes or merely adding more people to tax.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use forts, they can be priceless in their ability to keep enemies out of your territory, to seal mountain passes and shut down bridges.\", \"描述\": \"Only family members (Generals with portraits) can build forts. These forts must be manned by at least one unit at all times, or they will fall into disrepair, and disappear. Forts can be used to prevent war, and they also makes sure you'll be calling the shots once it starts.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If one of your cities ever catches the plague, don't move any men inside of that city into another one, as it will spread the disease. However, one thing you can do to spread it to your enemy is to build a spy in that city and then move that spy into an enemy settlement. Since it is the only unit that can penetrate a town without taking it over, it will infect that town.\\n\", \"In battle, use every opportunity you can to conceal your troops in a forest (some can hide in long grass too), even if you already have an advantage. Place your visible troops behind where the forest is and then have the hidden troops ambush the enemy when the come near, sandwiching them between your two forces.\\n\", \"Remember that foreign (not your own faction) temples cannot be upgraded. If you have a shrine in a Huge city, your first action should be to build a new temple.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Attack the city of Carthage,Patavium, or Thapsus without a strong economy may have you spending thousands of denarii trying to keep the people happy. On the contrary, taking over Carthage early in the campaign can give you a lot of advantages. The city of Carthage is usually more advanced than the other settlements you start with. This gives you the advantage of being able to train more advanced units. It may be your first settlement to make it to \\\"Huge\\\" status. Also, Carthage can be a huge money maker. It's also a relatively safe place to raise up armies which you can export to Rome, Greece, and other places.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,789 | How to Be Green at Home | 1. Reducing Energy Consumption
1-1. Insulate your home.
Nearly half of your home’s energy expenditures come from heating and cooling. To reduce the amount of heating and cooling needed, it is important for your home to be well-insulated. Ideally your home would be well-insulated when it was built, but this is not always the case. To improve your home’s insulation, hang thermal curtains over your windows. Curtains can go a long way in keeping out the cold or heat, depending on the season.
When choosing curtains, pick a fun pattern or an elegant design so that they are a piece of decor for your home as well. They will look great and keep your home insulated to cut down on your heating or cooling bill.
If there are any gaps or places where you notice air getting in, be sure to seal these. Buy some caulk from a hardware store to seal the edges. If you aren’t comfortable doing this yourself, hire a professional to help.
1-2. Upgrade your windows.
Much of a home’s heat or air conditioning escapes through windows. When your old windows need upgrading, install energy-efficient windows. They are typically double-paned for lower levels of air leakage. Look into their energy performance ratings to see which ones will fit your needs and best cut down on your energy consumption. Make sure they are properly installed so that they perform correctly.
Energy-efficient windows vary greatly in terms of quality and price. On the low end, you can find them for about $100/window, which will usually have a vinyl frame. These can still be a good option and work well to reduce air leakage. On the higher end, they can cost $1000+ and can have frames of vinyl, wood, aluminum, or wood-clad.
To install windows, hire an expert, either an experienced contractor or a window professional. Oftentimes, you can have someone install them from the place where you buy them. Window installation requires a certain level of expertise that often goes beyond a general handyman.
1-3. Use Energy Star appliances.
When it is time for new appliances, look for ones that are Energy Star certified. These will save you money in the long run by requiring less energy to run them. Most appliances are available Energy Star certified, from refrigerators to dishwashers to washers and dryers. You don’t need to replace all of them at once, but even upgrading one of your appliances can make your home more green.
1-4. Replace your light bulbs.
This is a simple and inexpensive way to be green at home. You need lightbulbs so you might as well use the ones that are efficient. Choose compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL), which use about 75% less electricity and last about 10 times longer than incandescent bulbs. They convert energy to light rather than to heat for optimal and efficient lighting.
1-5. Wash your clothes in cold water.
That way, no heating is required. Cold water still does a good job of cleaning your clothes, it keeps colors from running, and it eliminates heating energy. For laundry, be sure to wait until you have a full load so that you aren’t wasting water either.
1-6. Make the most of sunlight.
If you are able to, install solar panels. This is a great option that can even allow you to live off-the-grid. However, this option isn’t for everyone. Some locations don’t get enough sunlight for this to be effective and the upfront costs of installation can be high, although it does save money in the long run because you eliminate other bills.
If you aren’t able to install solar panels, you can still benefit from sunlight. To warm up your home, open the curtains where the sun will enter. With the warm sun pouring in, that room will raise several degrees without requiring any energy consumption.
1-7. Set your thermostat wisely.
You might have learned that room temperature is 72 degrees. While this might be ideal, it isn’t necessary and, depending on your climate, might require a great deal of heating and cooling. In warm summer months, try keeping your home at 78 degrees and in cold winter months, keep your home at 68 degrees during the day and 55 degrees at night. If you bundle up with a down blanket and some fleece, you will sleep soundly and won’t even notice the cooler temperature.
If you are too hot in summer months, try misting some cold water on your face, using an energy efficient fan, and wearing thin clothing. Close your thermal curtains to block sunlight from entering.
If you are too cold in winter months, try wearing a warm sweater, slippers, and sitting under a cozy fleece blanket. Enjoy a mug of hot tea and sit by a fireplace. You can be warm and comfortable without having to pay excessive heating costs.
1-8. Unplug your electronics.
Once your phone or computer is charged, you can unplug it, especially overnight. Be mindful of any electronics that have LED lights that stay on continually, because you will be providing that energy for as long as it is plugged in.
2. Reducing Waste
2-1. Recycle unwanted materials.
A lot of items that people throw out can be easily recycled. Some places even offer free recycling services. Most plastic containers, glass jars, tin cans, and paper can be recycled. It’s just as easy as throwing it in your garbage. Simply place it in your recycling bin instead. This will greatly reduce waste in landfills and will allow your items to be reused instead of wasted.
2-2. Donate or sell unwanted items.
This goes for clothing, electronics, appliances, and furniture. Your junk is someone else’s treasure. Simply take items to a Goodwill facility, sell them online, or give to a friend or family member. Try not to throw any of this out unless it is completely useless. If you outgrow a shirt, someone else will gladly wear it, especially someone in need. This is a great way to help other people and take care of the environment.
Be especially mindful of electronics. Many people have old cells phones lying around or multiple computers and tablets. It is very important not to simply throw these out. There are recycling facilities specifically for your electronics if you aren’t able to donate or sell them.
2-3. Buy only what you need.
It is very hard on our planet to have people upgrading their phones every few months or buying a new jacket every season. A lot of energy, resources, and waste result from each item that is made. Try to pick out a few nice items that will last you a long time as opposed to buying something new every few months. This will help you to avoid throwing things out and will greatly help our planet.
2-4. Opt for reusable items instead of single use.
Instead of plastic water bottles, buy a reusable stainless steel one. Instead of a paper coffee cup each day, use in a reusable mug. Instead of paper towels, use a cloth towel. Instead of paper or plastic dishes, use ceramic ones. This way you aren’t continually buying and throwing things out, but are instead reusing a single item. This greatly helps to cut back on waste and is a simple way to go green.
2-5. Make a compost pile.
Instead of throwing out old scraps of food, you can compost them. This way they will break down into good useful soil instead of sitting in a landfill for a long time. To make your own, you need to combine brown matter (leaves, dried grass, wood chips, twigs) and green matter (vegetable peels, coffee grounds, tea leaves, apple cores, egg shells). Place them in a covered bin with many holes in it. Mix them together and let them sit.
It takes several weeks (or even months if it is cold out) for the items to compost and you can continue adding scraps while you wait. This cuts back on waste and will help with your gardening!
2-6. Aim for only one bag of trash per month.
To see how you are doing with eliminating waste, set a goal of only filling up one garbage bag each month. If you are recycling your goods and composting your organic material, you might be surprised how little waste you create! Feel free to adjust this based on the size of your family, but one bag per month is a good goal to aim for.
Even if you just cut back on a bag of trash each month, you will still make a big difference.
2-7. Go paper-free when possible.
These days, a lot of waste can be eliminated by choosing paper-free options. You can pay bills and receive bank statements online. You can use ebooks rather than buying print books. You can read articles on your computer instead of buying printed versions. There are very few things that absolutely need to be printed out. You can even use airplane tickets from your phone!
2-8. Reduce wasted water.
Install an efficient shower head and try to take quick showers. Five minutes should be all you need. Try to shower every other day instead of daily or try to only wash your hair a couple of times per week. You can give yourself a quick sponge bath in the morning instead of a full shower. That way you will be clean and will preserve water.
Turn off the water while brushing your teeth. It doesn’t need to run the whole time!
Fix any leaky faucets. A few droplets might not seem like much, but this can quickly add up.
2-9. Repurpose old items.
Instead of throwing out an old chair that is no longer in style, you can repurpose it. Try decorating it with a couple of throw pillows or placing an elegant cover over it. You could even have it reupholstered for a brand new look. A lot of older items simply need a nice new finish to be brought up to date. And a lot will eventually come back in style! Get creative or hire someone to help you update your items instead of tossing them.
3. Using Natural Ingredients
3-1. Eat organic foods.
Look for the USDA Organic label to be sure that foods were grown according to proper standards. Organic foods are free from dangerous pesticides and chemicals, which can harm your health and the planet. If you don’t have the budget to buy all organic foods, switch out a couple of items like grapes or spinach that are known to have a high pesticide content.
3-2. Grow your own herbs or vegetables.
This is a great way to ensure they will be chemical free. Try growing a few pots of herbs in your house. They will taste great and also help keep your air clean. If you’re feeling ambitious, plant a small vegetable garden outside. There is nothing quite like fresh produce or the satisfaction of enjoying the fruits of your labor.
3-3. Visit a farmer’s market.
If you don’t have a green thumb, you can benefit from those that do. Buy your food from a local farmer’s market to support farmers and good agricultural practices. Fresh food tastes better, is healthier, and helps the environment by eliminating shipping the food which causes a lot of pollution.
3-4. Eat whole foods.
Try to avoid foods filled with chemicals and instead opt for natural ingredients such as whole grains, beans, nuts, fruits, vegetables, and spices. If you can’t pronounce it, you probably don’t want to ingest it! Take the time to read the label. Just because it is advertised as natural, doesn’t mean it actually is.
Try to limit your meat consumption. Raising meat takes a great toll on the environment. If you currently eat meat daily, try to choose one day a week to go vegetarian. Every little bit helps.
3-5. Avoid harsh chemicals.
A lot of cleaning supplies are filled with toxic chemicals. You don’t want to kill germs by exposing yourself to another harmful element! Instead choose cleaning supplies with natural ingredients. These are much better for the environment by greatly reducing toxic waste. Try a simple Castile soap or use baking soda and vinegar. These will keep your home clean, safe, and will also save you money.
Check the ingredients of your hygiene products. A lot of makeup, deodorants, shampoos, soaps, and toothpastes are also filled with harsh chemicals. Since these are used daily, it is especially important to use quality ingredients. There are many ingredients to look out for, but a good starting point would be to avoid parabens, fragrance, synthetic colors, and phthalates.
3-6. Make your own products.
When in doubt, make it yourself, that way you know exactly what is in it and can tailor it to your specific needs. Whether it is enjoying a home-cooked meal or making your own deodorant, when you make it yourself it is generally healthier, less expensive, and better for the environment.
Start by choosing one item you’d like to try making for yourself. It might take a couple of tries to get the recipe just right. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't go perfectly the first time. Once you master one recipe, try making something else.
Tips
Make small changes to start. Pick out one step you can take easily today and then make more changes as you go. Even small changes make a difference.
Warnings
If you don’t know how to install something yourself, ask for help or hire a professional. Make sure you stay safe while making your home green.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reducing Energy Consumption\\n1-1. Insulate your home.\\nNearly half of your home’s energy expenditures come from heating and cooling. To reduce the amount of heating and cooling needed, it is important for your home to be well-insulated. Ideally your home would be well-insulated when it was built, but this is not always the case. To improve your home’s insulation, hang thermal curtains over your windows. Curtains can go a long way in keeping out the cold or heat, depending on the season.\\nWhen choosing curtains, pick a fun pattern or an elegant design so that they are a piece of decor for your home as well. They will look great and keep your home insulated to cut down on your heating or cooling bill.\\nIf there are any gaps or places where you notice air getting in, be sure to seal these. Buy some caulk from a hardware store to seal the edges. If you aren’t comfortable doing this yourself, hire a professional to help.\\n1-2. Upgrade your windows.\\nMuch of a home’s heat or air conditioning escapes through windows. When your old windows need upgrading, install energy-efficient windows. They are typically double-paned for lower levels of air leakage. Look into their energy performance ratings to see which ones will fit your needs and best cut down on your energy consumption. Make sure they are properly installed so that they perform correctly.\\nEnergy-efficient windows vary greatly in terms of quality and price. On the low end, you can find them for about $100/window, which will usually have a vinyl frame. These can still be a good option and work well to reduce air leakage. On the higher end, they can cost $1000+ and can have frames of vinyl, wood, aluminum, or wood-clad.\\nTo install windows, hire an expert, either an experienced contractor or a window professional. Oftentimes, you can have someone install them from the place where you buy them. Window installation requires a certain level of expertise that often goes beyond a general handyman.\\n1-3. Use Energy Star appliances.\\nWhen it is time for new appliances, look for ones that are Energy Star certified. These will save you money in the long run by requiring less energy to run them. Most appliances are available Energy Star certified, from refrigerators to dishwashers to washers and dryers. You don’t need to replace all of them at once, but even upgrading one of your appliances can make your home more green.\\n1-4. Replace your light bulbs.\\nThis is a simple and inexpensive way to be green at home. You need lightbulbs so you might as well use the ones that are efficient. Choose compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL), which use about 75% less electricity and last about 10 times longer than incandescent bulbs. They convert energy to light rather than to heat for optimal and efficient lighting.\\n1-5. Wash your clothes in cold water.\\nThat way, no heating is required. Cold water still does a good job of cleaning your clothes, it keeps colors from running, and it eliminates heating energy. For laundry, be sure to wait until you have a full load so that you aren’t wasting water either.\\n1-6. Make the most of sunlight.\\nIf you are able to, install solar panels. This is a great option that can even allow you to live off-the-grid. However, this option isn’t for everyone. Some locations don’t get enough sunlight for this to be effective and the upfront costs of installation can be high, although it does save money in the long run because you eliminate other bills.\\nIf you aren’t able to install solar panels, you can still benefit from sunlight. To warm up your home, open the curtains where the sun will enter. With the warm sun pouring in, that room will raise several degrees without requiring any energy consumption.\\n1-7. Set your thermostat wisely.\\nYou might have learned that room temperature is 72 degrees. While this might be ideal, it isn’t necessary and, depending on your climate, might require a great deal of heating and cooling. In warm summer months, try keeping your home at 78 degrees and in cold winter months, keep your home at 68 degrees during the day and 55 degrees at night. If you bundle up with a down blanket and some fleece, you will sleep soundly and won’t even notice the cooler temperature.\\nIf you are too hot in summer months, try misting some cold water on your face, using an energy efficient fan, and wearing thin clothing. Close your thermal curtains to block sunlight from entering.\\nIf you are too cold in winter months, try wearing a warm sweater, slippers, and sitting under a cozy fleece blanket. Enjoy a mug of hot tea and sit by a fireplace. You can be warm and comfortable without having to pay excessive heating costs.\\n1-8. Unplug your electronics.\\nOnce your phone or computer is charged, you can unplug it, especially overnight. Be mindful of any electronics that have LED lights that stay on continually, because you will be providing that energy for as long as it is plugged in.\\n2. Reducing Waste\\n2-1. Recycle unwanted materials.\\nA lot of items that people throw out can be easily recycled. Some places even offer free recycling services. Most plastic containers, glass jars, tin cans, and paper can be recycled. It’s just as easy as throwing it in your garbage. Simply place it in your recycling bin instead. This will greatly reduce waste in landfills and will allow your items to be reused instead of wasted.\\n2-2. Donate or sell unwanted items.\\nThis goes for clothing, electronics, appliances, and furniture. Your junk is someone else’s treasure. Simply take items to a Goodwill facility, sell them online, or give to a friend or family member. Try not to throw any of this out unless it is completely useless. If you outgrow a shirt, someone else will gladly wear it, especially someone in need. This is a great way to help other people and take care of the environment.\\nBe especially mindful of electronics. Many people have old cells phones lying around or multiple computers and tablets. It is very important not to simply throw these out. There are recycling facilities specifically for your electronics if you aren’t able to donate or sell them.\\n2-3. Buy only what you need.\\nIt is very hard on our planet to have people upgrading their phones every few months or buying a new jacket every season. A lot of energy, resources, and waste result from each item that is made. Try to pick out a few nice items that will last you a long time as opposed to buying something new every few months. This will help you to avoid throwing things out and will greatly help our planet.\\n2-4. Opt for reusable items instead of single use.\\nInstead of plastic water bottles, buy a reusable stainless steel one. Instead of a paper coffee cup each day, use in a reusable mug. Instead of paper towels, use a cloth towel. Instead of paper or plastic dishes, use ceramic ones. This way you aren’t continually buying and throwing things out, but are instead reusing a single item. This greatly helps to cut back on waste and is a simple way to go green.\\n2-5. Make a compost pile.\\nInstead of throwing out old scraps of food, you can compost them. This way they will break down into good useful soil instead of sitting in a landfill for a long time. To make your own, you need to combine brown matter (leaves, dried grass, wood chips, twigs) and green matter (vegetable peels, coffee grounds, tea leaves, apple cores, egg shells). Place them in a covered bin with many holes in it. Mix them together and let them sit.\\nIt takes several weeks (or even months if it is cold out) for the items to compost and you can continue adding scraps while you wait. This cuts back on waste and will help with your gardening!\\n2-6. Aim for only one bag of trash per month.\\nTo see how you are doing with eliminating waste, set a goal of only filling up one garbage bag each month. If you are recycling your goods and composting your organic material, you might be surprised how little waste you create! Feel free to adjust this based on the size of your family, but one bag per month is a good goal to aim for.\\nEven if you just cut back on a bag of trash each month, you will still make a big difference.\\n2-7. Go paper-free when possible.\\nThese days, a lot of waste can be eliminated by choosing paper-free options. You can pay bills and receive bank statements online. You can use ebooks rather than buying print books. You can read articles on your computer instead of buying printed versions. There are very few things that absolutely need to be printed out. You can even use airplane tickets from your phone!\\n2-8. Reduce wasted water.\\nInstall an efficient shower head and try to take quick showers. Five minutes should be all you need. Try to shower every other day instead of daily or try to only wash your hair a couple of times per week. You can give yourself a quick sponge bath in the morning instead of a full shower. That way you will be clean and will preserve water.\\nTurn off the water while brushing your teeth. It doesn’t need to run the whole time!\\nFix any leaky faucets. A few droplets might not seem like much, but this can quickly add up.\\n2-9. Repurpose old items.\\nInstead of throwing out an old chair that is no longer in style, you can repurpose it. Try decorating it with a couple of throw pillows or placing an elegant cover over it. You could even have it reupholstered for a brand new look. A lot of older items simply need a nice new finish to be brought up to date. And a lot will eventually come back in style! Get creative or hire someone to help you update your items instead of tossing them.\\n3. Using Natural Ingredients\\n3-1. Eat organic foods.\\nLook for the USDA Organic label to be sure that foods were grown according to proper standards. Organic foods are free from dangerous pesticides and chemicals, which can harm your health and the planet. If you don’t have the budget to buy all organic foods, switch out a couple of items like grapes or spinach that are known to have a high pesticide content.\\n3-2. Grow your own herbs or vegetables.\\nThis is a great way to ensure they will be chemical free. Try growing a few pots of herbs in your house. They will taste great and also help keep your air clean. If you’re feeling ambitious, plant a small vegetable garden outside. There is nothing quite like fresh produce or the satisfaction of enjoying the fruits of your labor.\\n3-3. Visit a farmer’s market.\\nIf you don’t have a green thumb, you can benefit from those that do. Buy your food from a local farmer’s market to support farmers and good agricultural practices. Fresh food tastes better, is healthier, and helps the environment by eliminating shipping the food which causes a lot of pollution.\\n3-4. Eat whole foods.\\nTry to avoid foods filled with chemicals and instead opt for natural ingredients such as whole grains, beans, nuts, fruits, vegetables, and spices. If you can’t pronounce it, you probably don’t want to ingest it! Take the time to read the label. Just because it is advertised as natural, doesn’t mean it actually is.\\nTry to limit your meat consumption. Raising meat takes a great toll on the environment. If you currently eat meat daily, try to choose one day a week to go vegetarian. Every little bit helps.\\n3-5. Avoid harsh chemicals.\\nA lot of cleaning supplies are filled with toxic chemicals. You don’t want to kill germs by exposing yourself to another harmful element! Instead choose cleaning supplies with natural ingredients. These are much better for the environment by greatly reducing toxic waste. Try a simple Castile soap or use baking soda and vinegar. These will keep your home clean, safe, and will also save you money.\\nCheck the ingredients of your hygiene products. A lot of makeup, deodorants, shampoos, soaps, and toothpastes are also filled with harsh chemicals. Since these are used daily, it is especially important to use quality ingredients. There are many ingredients to look out for, but a good starting point would be to avoid parabens, fragrance, synthetic colors, and phthalates.\\n3-6. Make your own products.\\nWhen in doubt, make it yourself, that way you know exactly what is in it and can tailor it to your specific needs. Whether it is enjoying a home-cooked meal or making your own deodorant, when you make it yourself it is generally healthier, less expensive, and better for the environment.\\nStart by choosing one item you’d like to try making for yourself. It might take a couple of tries to get the recipe just right. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't go perfectly the first time. Once you master one recipe, try making something else.\\nTips\\nMake small changes to start. Pick out one step you can take easily today and then make more changes as you go. Even small changes make a difference.\\nWarnings\\nIf you don’t know how to install something yourself, ask for help or hire a professional. Make sure you stay safe while making your home green.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many ways to help the environment from your home. Being green saves money, supports the environment, and creates a healthy living space for you. It is a great way to help sustain our planet and will improve your home living conditions. By being energy efficient, generating less waste, and avoiding harsh chemicals, you can make a big difference not only for you, but for our planet too!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reducing Energy Consumption\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Insulate your home.\", \"描述\": \"Nearly half of your home’s energy expenditures come from heating and cooling. To reduce the amount of heating and cooling needed, it is important for your home to be well-insulated. Ideally your home would be well-insulated when it was built, but this is not always the case. To improve your home’s insulation, hang thermal curtains over your windows. Curtains can go a long way in keeping out the cold or heat, depending on the season.\\nWhen choosing curtains, pick a fun pattern or an elegant design so that they are a piece of decor for your home as well. They will look great and keep your home insulated to cut down on your heating or cooling bill.\\nIf there are any gaps or places where you notice air getting in, be sure to seal these. Buy some caulk from a hardware store to seal the edges. If you aren’t comfortable doing this yourself, hire a professional to help.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Upgrade your windows.\", \"描述\": \"Much of a home’s heat or air conditioning escapes through windows. When your old windows need upgrading, install energy-efficient windows. They are typically double-paned for lower levels of air leakage. Look into their energy performance ratings to see which ones will fit your needs and best cut down on your energy consumption. Make sure they are properly installed so that they perform correctly.\\nEnergy-efficient windows vary greatly in terms of quality and price. On the low end, you can find them for about $100/window, which will usually have a vinyl frame. These can still be a good option and work well to reduce air leakage. On the higher end, they can cost $1000+ and can have frames of vinyl, wood, aluminum, or wood-clad.\\nTo install windows, hire an expert, either an experienced contractor or a window professional. Oftentimes, you can have someone install them from the place where you buy them. Window installation requires a certain level of expertise that often goes beyond a general handyman.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use Energy Star appliances.\", \"描述\": \"When it is time for new appliances, look for ones that are Energy Star certified. These will save you money in the long run by requiring less energy to run them. Most appliances are available Energy Star certified, from refrigerators to dishwashers to washers and dryers. You don’t need to replace all of them at once, but even upgrading one of your appliances can make your home more green.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Replace your light bulbs.\", \"描述\": \"This is a simple and inexpensive way to be green at home. You need lightbulbs so you might as well use the ones that are efficient. Choose compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL), which use about 75% less electricity and last about 10 times longer than incandescent bulbs. They convert energy to light rather than to heat for optimal and efficient lighting.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wash your clothes in cold water.\", \"描述\": \"That way, no heating is required. Cold water still does a good job of cleaning your clothes, it keeps colors from running, and it eliminates heating energy. For laundry, be sure to wait until you have a full load so that you aren’t wasting water either.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make the most of sunlight.\", \"描述\": \"If you are able to, install solar panels. This is a great option that can even allow you to live off-the-grid. However, this option isn’t for everyone. Some locations don’t get enough sunlight for this to be effective and the upfront costs of installation can be high, although it does save money in the long run because you eliminate other bills.\\nIf you aren’t able to install solar panels, you can still benefit from sunlight. To warm up your home, open the curtains where the sun will enter. With the warm sun pouring in, that room will raise several degrees without requiring any energy consumption.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Set your thermostat wisely.\", \"描述\": \"You might have learned that room temperature is 72 degrees. While this might be ideal, it isn’t necessary and, depending on your climate, might require a great deal of heating and cooling. In warm summer months, try keeping your home at 78 degrees and in cold winter months, keep your home at 68 degrees during the day and 55 degrees at night. If you bundle up with a down blanket and some fleece, you will sleep soundly and won’t even notice the cooler temperature.\\nIf you are too hot in summer months, try misting some cold water on your face, using an energy efficient fan, and wearing thin clothing. Close your thermal curtains to block sunlight from entering.\\nIf you are too cold in winter months, try wearing a warm sweater, slippers, and sitting under a cozy fleece blanket. Enjoy a mug of hot tea and sit by a fireplace. You can be warm and comfortable without having to pay excessive heating costs.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Unplug your electronics.\", \"描述\": \"Once your phone or computer is charged, you can unplug it, especially overnight. Be mindful of any electronics that have LED lights that stay on continually, because you will be providing that energy for as long as it is plugged in.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reducing Waste\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recycle unwanted materials.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of items that people throw out can be easily recycled. Some places even offer free recycling services. Most plastic containers, glass jars, tin cans, and paper can be recycled. It’s just as easy as throwing it in your garbage. Simply place it in your recycling bin instead. This will greatly reduce waste in landfills and will allow your items to be reused instead of wasted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Donate or sell unwanted items.\", \"描述\": \"This goes for clothing, electronics, appliances, and furniture. Your junk is someone else’s treasure. Simply take items to a Goodwill facility, sell them online, or give to a friend or family member. Try not to throw any of this out unless it is completely useless. If you outgrow a shirt, someone else will gladly wear it, especially someone in need. This is a great way to help other people and take care of the environment.\\nBe especially mindful of electronics. Many people have old cells phones lying around or multiple computers and tablets. It is very important not to simply throw these out. There are recycling facilities specifically for your electronics if you aren’t able to donate or sell them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy only what you need.\", \"描述\": \"It is very hard on our planet to have people upgrading their phones every few months or buying a new jacket every season. A lot of energy, resources, and waste result from each item that is made. Try to pick out a few nice items that will last you a long time as opposed to buying something new every few months. This will help you to avoid throwing things out and will greatly help our planet.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Opt for reusable items instead of single use.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of plastic water bottles, buy a reusable stainless steel one. Instead of a paper coffee cup each day, use in a reusable mug. Instead of paper towels, use a cloth towel. Instead of paper or plastic dishes, use ceramic ones. This way you aren’t continually buying and throwing things out, but are instead reusing a single item. This greatly helps to cut back on waste and is a simple way to go green.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a compost pile.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of throwing out old scraps of food, you can compost them. This way they will break down into good useful soil instead of sitting in a landfill for a long time. To make your own, you need to combine brown matter (leaves, dried grass, wood chips, twigs) and green matter (vegetable peels, coffee grounds, tea leaves, apple cores, egg shells). Place them in a covered bin with many holes in it. Mix them together and let them sit.\\nIt takes several weeks (or even months if it is cold out) for the items to compost and you can continue adding scraps while you wait. This cuts back on waste and will help with your gardening!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Aim for only one bag of trash per month.\", \"描述\": \"To see how you are doing with eliminating waste, set a goal of only filling up one garbage bag each month. If you are recycling your goods and composting your organic material, you might be surprised how little waste you create! Feel free to adjust this based on the size of your family, but one bag per month is a good goal to aim for.\\nEven if you just cut back on a bag of trash each month, you will still make a big difference.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Go paper-free when possible.\", \"描述\": \"These days, a lot of waste can be eliminated by choosing paper-free options. You can pay bills and receive bank statements online. You can use ebooks rather than buying print books. You can read articles on your computer instead of buying printed versions. There are very few things that absolutely need to be printed out. You can even use airplane tickets from your phone!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Reduce wasted water.\", \"描述\": \"Install an efficient shower head and try to take quick showers. Five minutes should be all you need. Try to shower every other day instead of daily or try to only wash your hair a couple of times per week. You can give yourself a quick sponge bath in the morning instead of a full shower. That way you will be clean and will preserve water.\\nTurn off the water while brushing your teeth. It doesn’t need to run the whole time!\\nFix any leaky faucets. A few droplets might not seem like much, but this can quickly add up.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Repurpose old items.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of throwing out an old chair that is no longer in style, you can repurpose it. Try decorating it with a couple of throw pillows or placing an elegant cover over it. You could even have it reupholstered for a brand new look. A lot of older items simply need a nice new finish to be brought up to date. And a lot will eventually come back in style! Get creative or hire someone to help you update your items instead of tossing them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Natural Ingredients\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat organic foods.\", \"描述\": \"Look for the USDA Organic label to be sure that foods were grown according to proper standards. Organic foods are free from dangerous pesticides and chemicals, which can harm your health and the planet. If you don’t have the budget to buy all organic foods, switch out a couple of items like grapes or spinach that are known to have a high pesticide content.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Grow your own herbs or vegetables.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to ensure they will be chemical free. Try growing a few pots of herbs in your house. They will taste great and also help keep your air clean. If you’re feeling ambitious, plant a small vegetable garden outside. There is nothing quite like fresh produce or the satisfaction of enjoying the fruits of your labor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visit a farmer’s market.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t have a green thumb, you can benefit from those that do. Buy your food from a local farmer’s market to support farmers and good agricultural practices. Fresh food tastes better, is healthier, and helps the environment by eliminating shipping the food which causes a lot of pollution.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat whole foods.\", \"描述\": \"Try to avoid foods filled with chemicals and instead opt for natural ingredients such as whole grains, beans, nuts, fruits, vegetables, and spices. If you can’t pronounce it, you probably don’t want to ingest it! Take the time to read the label. Just because it is advertised as natural, doesn’t mean it actually is.\\nTry to limit your meat consumption. Raising meat takes a great toll on the environment. If you currently eat meat daily, try to choose one day a week to go vegetarian. Every little bit helps.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid harsh chemicals.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of cleaning supplies are filled with toxic chemicals. You don’t want to kill germs by exposing yourself to another harmful element! Instead choose cleaning supplies with natural ingredients. These are much better for the environment by greatly reducing toxic waste. Try a simple Castile soap or use baking soda and vinegar. These will keep your home clean, safe, and will also save you money.\\nCheck the ingredients of your hygiene products. A lot of makeup, deodorants, shampoos, soaps, and toothpastes are also filled with harsh chemicals. Since these are used daily, it is especially important to use quality ingredients. There are many ingredients to look out for, but a good starting point would be to avoid parabens, fragrance, synthetic colors, and phthalates.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make your own products.\", \"描述\": \"When in doubt, make it yourself, that way you know exactly what is in it and can tailor it to your specific needs. Whether it is enjoying a home-cooked meal or making your own deodorant, when you make it yourself it is generally healthier, less expensive, and better for the environment.\\nStart by choosing one item you’d like to try making for yourself. It might take a couple of tries to get the recipe just right. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't go perfectly the first time. Once you master one recipe, try making something else.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make small changes to start. Pick out one step you can take easily today and then make more changes as you go. Even small changes make a difference.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you don’t know how to install something yourself, ask for help or hire a professional. Make sure you stay safe while making your home green.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,790 | How to Be Grown Up | 1. Cultivating Grown Up Characteristics
1-1. Act more rationally.
In your youth, it's more excusable for you to behave recklessly or out of self interest. However, as you enter adulthood, a big part of your responsibility will involve thinking and acting rationally.
Rational thought requires you to distinguish between thinking and feeling.
A rational person exercises control over his or her emotions, and acts based on thoughts instead of feelings.
Rational thought takes outside interests and moral concerns into consideration during the decision-making process.
To act rationally, try taking a breather when you feel your emotions running high. Come back to the decision when you're calmer and more capable of thinking critically about the issue.
Any time you exercise restraint based on thoughts and moral/ethical considerations, you are acting rationally. With practice, acting rationally can become more natural to your decision-making process.
1-2. Develop meaningful, balanced relationships.
As you learn to live a more grown up adult life, a big part of your focus should be on how you interact with and treat the people around you. Your relationships - which includes friendships, familial ties, and romantic relationships - should be meaningful, balanced, and healthy for all parties involved. This can take a lot of work, but it's essential if you want to be happy and make the people closest to you happy.
Whether dealing with friendships or romantic relationships, you should be able to interact with one another as independent individuals.
Be willing to negotiate things so that everyone is happy.
Every adult relationship requires you to give and take a little. The important thing is that everyone's needs are met.
A balanced relationship involves giving and receiving love unconditionally. Your affection should not be dependent upon certain conditions or expectations.
1-3. Prioritize your needs over your desires.
One of the things many people struggle with when it comes to entering adulthood is putting off things you want in favor of things you need to do. It's okay to spend some money on fun things when you have cash leftover, but you need to prioritize and take care of the essentials first.
Identify your needs and your wants. You may have assumed that something was a necessity, but it's worth re-evaluating all of your expenses to see which items can be put on hold until you have extra spending money.
Set up a budget and track your expenses. Make sure you're never spending more than your total income in a given month.
Take care of essential expenses first. Before you spend money on anything else, make sure you have enough for rent, car payments, insurance, utilities, and groceries.
Set aside an emergency fund. Whether you experience a medical emergency, a car maintenance problem, or need to replace a broken appliance, you'll be glad that you tucked away a little money every week instead of spending it all on pleasure purchases.
Plan for medical expenses. Hopefully this isn't a pressing issue, but it's good to have a little money set aside for doctor's visits, prescription medications, and other health-related expenses.
Dine in instead of going out. It costs far more to purchase prepared food than it does to buy the ingredients and make it at home, plus it's likely to be much healthier if you make it in your own kitchen.
If you have money left over after taking care of your mandatory expenses and putting away money in savings, then you can treat yourself to something fun. Even if it's "leftover" money, though, it's important to continue living within your means and prioritizing how you spend that cash.
1-4. Take control of your life.
One of the biggest aspects of being a grown up is taking control of the life you're living. In childhood and adolescence, your parents and family members may have been able to help you out in many different ways, but in adulthood you'll need to learn how to do things yourself.
If there is some aspect of your life that you're not satisfied with (or that others have told you is problematic), be willing to address those issues.
A grown up is capable of assessing her own life and making the changes necessary to lead a fulfilling and rewarding life.
It's okay to ask for help from time to time, but as an adult you should be able to support yourself and sustain your life independent of other people.
Recognize that no one can change your life but you. Though circumstances may limit how much you can change things, you need to be aware that you have the power to adapt and grow no matter what is happening around you.
Start by making and striving towards goals, being independent, and taking responsibility for your actions or inactions.
2. Developing Adult Skills
2-1. Be independent.
Being independent builds off of taking control of your life. You'll need to be able to take care of yourself in any way you need to. That can include day-to-day personal maintenance, taking care of your home, going to work on time, being productive, and managing your money wisely.
Independence can take different forms at different ages. The key is to show independence that is appropriate for your age.
Independence can also involve age-appropriate responsibilities. As you get older, your responsibilities will change, and you'll need to be able to accomplish what's expected of you.
A teenager has dramatically different levels of independence than someone in their 20s or 30s, just as that individual would have different levels of independence than someone in their 50s or 60s.
Look to peers you know and respect for a living example of what someone in your age range must do to be independent.
If you're struggling with independence, try talking to a life coach or career counselor. You can find these services by searching online or in a phone book.
2-2. Develop and implement SMART goals.
As an adult, you'll need goals of your own creation. Goals help give your life meaning and purpose by giving you something to strive towards, and offering you accomplishments worth celebrating. Implementing your goals and working towards your next great accomplishment requires you to prioritize your life, both personally and professionally. When you make goals for yourself, studies show that S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound) goals are the most likely to succeed. A S.M.A.R.T. goal should address the following components:
Specific - narrow down the scope of your goal. Rather than dealing with broad, generalized terms, focus on a clearly-defined outcome that you hope to achieve.
Measurable - decide how you will measure success, both incremental and long-term. You'll need to know that you've achieved your goal at the end, and you'll need a way to track your progress along the way.
Attainable - make sure that your goal can feasibly be accomplished. It's good to push yourself to achieve great things, but you need to work within your capacity at this moment to accomplish this particular goal, and develop strategies to do so.
Realistic - ask yourself whether your goal is something you're both willing and able to strive for. Again, it's good to push yourself, but make sure that your goal isn't too far fetched.
Time-bound - set a clear time frame for you to meet your goal. Don't make it so close that it will be impossible to achieve, but by the same token don't give yourself an unlimited span of time.
2-3. Strive for integrity and honesty.
Part of being an adult involves telling the truth and living a morally upstanding life. This can obviously be interpreted differently depending on your situation, but ultimately you should be able to take pride in the choices you've made and the life you've lived.
One aspect of integrity involves following through on your commitments. If you give your word that you'll be somewhere or help someone, make sure you carry out that promise.
A life of integrity requires you to stand for something that you believe is just and true.
Morality often comes into play when people speak of integrity, but morality is not necessarily universal. However, moral integrity may be thought of as being dedicated to the pursuit of a moral life (as you define what a "moral life" is).
Honesty is often intertwined with integrity. For example, academic/creative integrity requires you to present your work as your own, and to give credit to anyone who may have contributed in any way.
2-4. Take responsibility for your life.
Everything that helps you become a grown up builds towards taking ownership of your own life. Taking responsibility means not shifting the blame to others when things go wrong and not dodging responsibilities. Instead, a responsible adult is capable of answering for every decision she makes.
Being responsible can involve many facets, depending on your age and circumstances in life.
Responsibility is a life-long process that involves responding to situations and circumstances, as well as engaging with every possible outcome.
Basic responsibility requires you to think things through, make decisions, and take the credit (or blame) for the outcome of those decisions.
By planning in advance and anticipating things that might go wrong, you can more easily take responsibility for the situation as it unfolds in the future.
Remember that being responsible for your own life also includes celebrating your victories. Don't brag or boast, but do take the time to feel good about your accomplishments.
3. Being a Responsible Employee
3-1. Manage your time.
If you want to succeed as a working professional, you'll need to manage your time responsibly. This may mean putting off things you enjoy doing so that you can get to work on time and finish what you need to do each day. It may also require you to submit reports or projects before a deadline, which means you'll need to be aware of what day/time it is and when your obligations need to be met.
Be punctual. Always show up for work when you're supposed to (or a little early, just to be on the safe side), and stay until you've finished what you need to get done that day.
Make the most of your time each day. If something is important or a deadline is looming, prioritize your time to get those projects finished on time.
Use a calendar or planner to keep track of what you need to do and when.
Try to plan out your day either in the morning or the night before. That way you can go into work knowing what will need to be accomplished that day.
If you find yourself procrastinating, remind yourself that the work still needs to be done. Putting off work now will only make things more difficult in the future.
Focus on one thing at a time. Keep a mental note of what needs to be tackled next, but focus on the task at hand so that you can complete it efficiently and thoroughly.
3-2. Take action.
Action-oriented employees are typically considered the best kinds of workers. That's because instead of putting off tasks or having a "someone else can do it" attitude, an action-oriented employee takes initiative and completes the tasks that need to be addressed. This is good for business and can serve as an inspiration to other employees.
A responsible employee goes beyond the actions he or she is tasked with.
You should try to take chances and go the extra distance to accomplish more than what's expected of you.
Always ask yourself whether you're being action-oriented in the workplace, and avoid coasting by or doing the bare minimum.
3-3. Be ambitious.
Ambition is an important component of success. If you don't have goals and dreams, or if you don't work hard to accomplish those goals/dreams, you'll never be able to change your situation for the better.
Ambition should push you to accomplish great things.
It's important to have ambition in your professional life, but also in your personal life. Push yourself to be the best person you can be, both on the job and in your personal relationships.
Don't just show up to work to perform the job you have; put in the extra work to show your supervisors that you're capable of taking on greater responsibilities.
As you demonstrate your ambition and work ethic, you may eventually be rewarded with a promotion and/or a raise.
3-4. Show attention to detail.
Being detail-oriented can help you accomplish things more fully and in less time. Doing a sloppy job that's finished quickly will only leave more work for you and your coworkers the next day. Instead of rushing through and trying to get done as quickly as possible, take the time to do the job right.
At the end of the day you should be able to take pride in the work you've done. Make sure no stone was left unturned before heading home from your shift.
Don't overlook any aspect of the job. If a coworker has overlooked some part of their task, offer to help or show them how it should be done.
It may be helpful to think of attention to detail in terms of cleaning up a store or cafe. You'll need to wipe down the tables first before you can sweep the floors, and those tasks must be completed before you can mop the floor.
Make sure that every aspect of your task has been completed before moving on to the next task and before ending your shift.
3-5. Prove that you're a leader.
If you're a responsible and dedicated employee, your supervisor or manager will notice your efforts. Over time, you may be considered for a promotion when an opening arises. By taking ownership of your work, exceeding what's expected of you, and working with your coworkers for everyone's benefit, you will show your supervisors that you are capable of being a strong leader in the workplace.
Being a leader requires you to first and foremost complete your own work and take responsibility for your own actions.
Remember that a leader is responsible for the actions of their employees just as much as he or she is responsible for their own actions.
Leaders should be confident yet caring. If you're able to delegate tasks while also taking a real interest in the concerns your coworkers have, you might make a great leader in your workplace.
Tips
Set a career goal that is right for you, and not for someone else.
Be sure to pick a career that you enjoy and love, instead of hating it or just applying to a job for the money.
Live within your means. This can help you tremendously as you strive to be independent and take control of your own life.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cultivating Grown Up Characteristics\\n1-1. Act more rationally.\\nIn your youth, it's more excusable for you to behave recklessly or out of self interest. However, as you enter adulthood, a big part of your responsibility will involve thinking and acting rationally.\\nRational thought requires you to distinguish between thinking and feeling.\\nA rational person exercises control over his or her emotions, and acts based on thoughts instead of feelings.\\nRational thought takes outside interests and moral concerns into consideration during the decision-making process.\\nTo act rationally, try taking a breather when you feel your emotions running high. Come back to the decision when you're calmer and more capable of thinking critically about the issue.\\nAny time you exercise restraint based on thoughts and moral/ethical considerations, you are acting rationally. With practice, acting rationally can become more natural to your decision-making process.\\n1-2. Develop meaningful, balanced relationships.\\nAs you learn to live a more grown up adult life, a big part of your focus should be on how you interact with and treat the people around you. Your relationships - which includes friendships, familial ties, and romantic relationships - should be meaningful, balanced, and healthy for all parties involved. This can take a lot of work, but it's essential if you want to be happy and make the people closest to you happy.\\nWhether dealing with friendships or romantic relationships, you should be able to interact with one another as independent individuals.\\nBe willing to negotiate things so that everyone is happy.\\nEvery adult relationship requires you to give and take a little. The important thing is that everyone's needs are met.\\nA balanced relationship involves giving and receiving love unconditionally. Your affection should not be dependent upon certain conditions or expectations.\\n1-3. Prioritize your needs over your desires.\\nOne of the things many people struggle with when it comes to entering adulthood is putting off things you want in favor of things you need to do. It's okay to spend some money on fun things when you have cash leftover, but you need to prioritize and take care of the essentials first.\\nIdentify your needs and your wants. You may have assumed that something was a necessity, but it's worth re-evaluating all of your expenses to see which items can be put on hold until you have extra spending money.\\n\\nSet up a budget and track your expenses. Make sure you're never spending more than your total income in a given month.\\nTake care of essential expenses first. Before you spend money on anything else, make sure you have enough for rent, car payments, insurance, utilities, and groceries.\\nSet aside an emergency fund. Whether you experience a medical emergency, a car maintenance problem, or need to replace a broken appliance, you'll be glad that you tucked away a little money every week instead of spending it all on pleasure purchases.\\nPlan for medical expenses. Hopefully this isn't a pressing issue, but it's good to have a little money set aside for doctor's visits, prescription medications, and other health-related expenses.\\nDine in instead of going out. It costs far more to purchase prepared food than it does to buy the ingredients and make it at home, plus it's likely to be much healthier if you make it in your own kitchen.\\nIf you have money left over after taking care of your mandatory expenses and putting away money in savings, then you can treat yourself to something fun. Even if it's \\\"leftover\\\" money, though, it's important to continue living within your means and prioritizing how you spend that cash.\\n1-4. Take control of your life.\\nOne of the biggest aspects of being a grown up is taking control of the life you're living. In childhood and adolescence, your parents and family members may have been able to help you out in many different ways, but in adulthood you'll need to learn how to do things yourself.\\nIf there is some aspect of your life that you're not satisfied with (or that others have told you is problematic), be willing to address those issues.\\nA grown up is capable of assessing her own life and making the changes necessary to lead a fulfilling and rewarding life.\\nIt's okay to ask for help from time to time, but as an adult you should be able to support yourself and sustain your life independent of other people.\\nRecognize that no one can change your life but you. Though circumstances may limit how much you can change things, you need to be aware that you have the power to adapt and grow no matter what is happening around you.\\nStart by making and striving towards goals, being independent, and taking responsibility for your actions or inactions.\\n2. Developing Adult Skills\\n2-1. Be independent.\\nBeing independent builds off of taking control of your life. You'll need to be able to take care of yourself in any way you need to. That can include day-to-day personal maintenance, taking care of your home, going to work on time, being productive, and managing your money wisely.\\nIndependence can take different forms at different ages. The key is to show independence that is appropriate for your age.\\nIndependence can also involve age-appropriate responsibilities. As you get older, your responsibilities will change, and you'll need to be able to accomplish what's expected of you.\\nA teenager has dramatically different levels of independence than someone in their 20s or 30s, just as that individual would have different levels of independence than someone in their 50s or 60s.\\nLook to peers you know and respect for a living example of what someone in your age range must do to be independent.\\nIf you're struggling with independence, try talking to a life coach or career counselor. You can find these services by searching online or in a phone book.\\n2-2. Develop and implement SMART goals.\\nAs an adult, you'll need goals of your own creation. Goals help give your life meaning and purpose by giving you something to strive towards, and offering you accomplishments worth celebrating. Implementing your goals and working towards your next great accomplishment requires you to prioritize your life, both personally and professionally. When you make goals for yourself, studies show that S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound) goals are the most likely to succeed. A S.M.A.R.T. goal should address the following components:\\nSpecific - narrow down the scope of your goal. Rather than dealing with broad, generalized terms, focus on a clearly-defined outcome that you hope to achieve.\\nMeasurable - decide how you will measure success, both incremental and long-term. You'll need to know that you've achieved your goal at the end, and you'll need a way to track your progress along the way.\\nAttainable - make sure that your goal can feasibly be accomplished. It's good to push yourself to achieve great things, but you need to work within your capacity at this moment to accomplish this particular goal, and develop strategies to do so.\\nRealistic - ask yourself whether your goal is something you're both willing and able to strive for. Again, it's good to push yourself, but make sure that your goal isn't too far fetched.\\nTime-bound - set a clear time frame for you to meet your goal. Don't make it so close that it will be impossible to achieve, but by the same token don't give yourself an unlimited span of time.\\n2-3. Strive for integrity and honesty.\\nPart of being an adult involves telling the truth and living a morally upstanding life. This can obviously be interpreted differently depending on your situation, but ultimately you should be able to take pride in the choices you've made and the life you've lived.\\nOne aspect of integrity involves following through on your commitments. If you give your word that you'll be somewhere or help someone, make sure you carry out that promise.\\nA life of integrity requires you to stand for something that you believe is just and true.\\nMorality often comes into play when people speak of integrity, but morality is not necessarily universal. However, moral integrity may be thought of as being dedicated to the pursuit of a moral life (as you define what a \\\"moral life\\\" is).\\nHonesty is often intertwined with integrity. For example, academic/creative integrity requires you to present your work as your own, and to give credit to anyone who may have contributed in any way.\\n2-4. Take responsibility for your life.\\nEverything that helps you become a grown up builds towards taking ownership of your own life. Taking responsibility means not shifting the blame to others when things go wrong and not dodging responsibilities. Instead, a responsible adult is capable of answering for every decision she makes.\\nBeing responsible can involve many facets, depending on your age and circumstances in life.\\nResponsibility is a life-long process that involves responding to situations and circumstances, as well as engaging with every possible outcome.\\nBasic responsibility requires you to think things through, make decisions, and take the credit (or blame) for the outcome of those decisions.\\nBy planning in advance and anticipating things that might go wrong, you can more easily take responsibility for the situation as it unfolds in the future.\\nRemember that being responsible for your own life also includes celebrating your victories. Don't brag or boast, but do take the time to feel good about your accomplishments.\\n3. Being a Responsible Employee\\n3-1. Manage your time.\\nIf you want to succeed as a working professional, you'll need to manage your time responsibly. This may mean putting off things you enjoy doing so that you can get to work on time and finish what you need to do each day. It may also require you to submit reports or projects before a deadline, which means you'll need to be aware of what day/time it is and when your obligations need to be met.\\nBe punctual. Always show up for work when you're supposed to (or a little early, just to be on the safe side), and stay until you've finished what you need to get done that day.\\nMake the most of your time each day. If something is important or a deadline is looming, prioritize your time to get those projects finished on time.\\nUse a calendar or planner to keep track of what you need to do and when.\\nTry to plan out your day either in the morning or the night before. That way you can go into work knowing what will need to be accomplished that day.\\nIf you find yourself procrastinating, remind yourself that the work still needs to be done. Putting off work now will only make things more difficult in the future.\\nFocus on one thing at a time. Keep a mental note of what needs to be tackled next, but focus on the task at hand so that you can complete it efficiently and thoroughly.\\n3-2. Take action.\\nAction-oriented employees are typically considered the best kinds of workers. That's because instead of putting off tasks or having a \\\"someone else can do it\\\" attitude, an action-oriented employee takes initiative and completes the tasks that need to be addressed. This is good for business and can serve as an inspiration to other employees.\\nA responsible employee goes beyond the actions he or she is tasked with.\\nYou should try to take chances and go the extra distance to accomplish more than what's expected of you.\\nAlways ask yourself whether you're being action-oriented in the workplace, and avoid coasting by or doing the bare minimum.\\n3-3. Be ambitious.\\nAmbition is an important component of success. If you don't have goals and dreams, or if you don't work hard to accomplish those goals/dreams, you'll never be able to change your situation for the better.\\nAmbition should push you to accomplish great things.\\nIt's important to have ambition in your professional life, but also in your personal life. Push yourself to be the best person you can be, both on the job and in your personal relationships.\\nDon't just show up to work to perform the job you have; put in the extra work to show your supervisors that you're capable of taking on greater responsibilities.\\nAs you demonstrate your ambition and work ethic, you may eventually be rewarded with a promotion and/or a raise.\\n3-4. Show attention to detail.\\nBeing detail-oriented can help you accomplish things more fully and in less time. Doing a sloppy job that's finished quickly will only leave more work for you and your coworkers the next day. Instead of rushing through and trying to get done as quickly as possible, take the time to do the job right.\\nAt the end of the day you should be able to take pride in the work you've done. Make sure no stone was left unturned before heading home from your shift.\\nDon't overlook any aspect of the job. If a coworker has overlooked some part of their task, offer to help or show them how it should be done.\\nIt may be helpful to think of attention to detail in terms of cleaning up a store or cafe. You'll need to wipe down the tables first before you can sweep the floors, and those tasks must be completed before you can mop the floor.\\nMake sure that every aspect of your task has been completed before moving on to the next task and before ending your shift.\\n3-5. Prove that you're a leader.\\nIf you're a responsible and dedicated employee, your supervisor or manager will notice your efforts. Over time, you may be considered for a promotion when an opening arises. By taking ownership of your work, exceeding what's expected of you, and working with your coworkers for everyone's benefit, you will show your supervisors that you are capable of being a strong leader in the workplace.\\nBeing a leader requires you to first and foremost complete your own work and take responsibility for your own actions.\\nRemember that a leader is responsible for the actions of their employees just as much as he or she is responsible for their own actions.\\nLeaders should be confident yet caring. If you're able to delegate tasks while also taking a real interest in the concerns your coworkers have, you might make a great leader in your workplace.\\nTips\\nSet a career goal that is right for you, and not for someone else.\\nBe sure to pick a career that you enjoy and love, instead of hating it or just applying to a job for the money.\\nLive within your means. This can help you tremendously as you strive to be independent and take control of your own life.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a grown up is a lot of work, but it's very rewarding and well worth the effort. You can't live irresponsibly forever, and at a certain age you'll need to start taking care of yourself, taking responsibility for your own life, and working hard to create a better life for yourself and your family. Being grown up can mean different things for different adults, but ultimately you'll need to embody the characteristics of a responsible adult in both your personal and professional lives.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivating Grown Up Characteristics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act more rationally.\", \"描述\": \"In your youth, it's more excusable for you to behave recklessly or out of self interest. However, as you enter adulthood, a big part of your responsibility will involve thinking and acting rationally.\\nRational thought requires you to distinguish between thinking and feeling.\\nA rational person exercises control over his or her emotions, and acts based on thoughts instead of feelings.\\nRational thought takes outside interests and moral concerns into consideration during the decision-making process.\\nTo act rationally, try taking a breather when you feel your emotions running high. Come back to the decision when you're calmer and more capable of thinking critically about the issue.\\nAny time you exercise restraint based on thoughts and moral/ethical considerations, you are acting rationally. With practice, acting rationally can become more natural to your decision-making process.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop meaningful, balanced relationships.\", \"描述\": \"As you learn to live a more grown up adult life, a big part of your focus should be on how you interact with and treat the people around you. Your relationships - which includes friendships, familial ties, and romantic relationships - should be meaningful, balanced, and healthy for all parties involved. This can take a lot of work, but it's essential if you want to be happy and make the people closest to you happy.\\nWhether dealing with friendships or romantic relationships, you should be able to interact with one another as independent individuals.\\nBe willing to negotiate things so that everyone is happy.\\nEvery adult relationship requires you to give and take a little. The important thing is that everyone's needs are met.\\nA balanced relationship involves giving and receiving love unconditionally. Your affection should not be dependent upon certain conditions or expectations.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your needs over your desires.\", \"描述\": \"One of the things many people struggle with when it comes to entering adulthood is putting off things you want in favor of things you need to do. It's okay to spend some money on fun things when you have cash leftover, but you need to prioritize and take care of the essentials first.\\nIdentify your needs and your wants. You may have assumed that something was a necessity, but it's worth re-evaluating all of your expenses to see which items can be put on hold until you have extra spending money.\\n\\nSet up a budget and track your expenses. Make sure you're never spending more than your total income in a given month.\\nTake care of essential expenses first. Before you spend money on anything else, make sure you have enough for rent, car payments, insurance, utilities, and groceries.\\nSet aside an emergency fund. Whether you experience a medical emergency, a car maintenance problem, or need to replace a broken appliance, you'll be glad that you tucked away a little money every week instead of spending it all on pleasure purchases.\\nPlan for medical expenses. Hopefully this isn't a pressing issue, but it's good to have a little money set aside for doctor's visits, prescription medications, and other health-related expenses.\\nDine in instead of going out. It costs far more to purchase prepared food than it does to buy the ingredients and make it at home, plus it's likely to be much healthier if you make it in your own kitchen.\\nIf you have money left over after taking care of your mandatory expenses and putting away money in savings, then you can treat yourself to something fun. Even if it's \\\"leftover\\\" money, though, it's important to continue living within your means and prioritizing how you spend that cash.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take control of your life.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest aspects of being a grown up is taking control of the life you're living. In childhood and adolescence, your parents and family members may have been able to help you out in many different ways, but in adulthood you'll need to learn how to do things yourself.\\nIf there is some aspect of your life that you're not satisfied with (or that others have told you is problematic), be willing to address those issues.\\nA grown up is capable of assessing her own life and making the changes necessary to lead a fulfilling and rewarding life.\\nIt's okay to ask for help from time to time, but as an adult you should be able to support yourself and sustain your life independent of other people.\\nRecognize that no one can change your life but you. Though circumstances may limit how much you can change things, you need to be aware that you have the power to adapt and grow no matter what is happening around you.\\nStart by making and striving towards goals, being independent, and taking responsibility for your actions or inactions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Adult Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be independent.\", \"描述\": \"Being independent builds off of taking control of your life. You'll need to be able to take care of yourself in any way you need to. That can include day-to-day personal maintenance, taking care of your home, going to work on time, being productive, and managing your money wisely.\\nIndependence can take different forms at different ages. The key is to show independence that is appropriate for your age.\\nIndependence can also involve age-appropriate responsibilities. As you get older, your responsibilities will change, and you'll need to be able to accomplish what's expected of you.\\nA teenager has dramatically different levels of independence than someone in their 20s or 30s, just as that individual would have different levels of independence than someone in their 50s or 60s.\\nLook to peers you know and respect for a living example of what someone in your age range must do to be independent.\\nIf you're struggling with independence, try talking to a life coach or career counselor. You can find these services by searching online or in a phone book.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop and implement SMART goals.\", \"描述\": \"As an adult, you'll need goals of your own creation. Goals help give your life meaning and purpose by giving you something to strive towards, and offering you accomplishments worth celebrating. Implementing your goals and working towards your next great accomplishment requires you to prioritize your life, both personally and professionally. When you make goals for yourself, studies show that S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound) goals are the most likely to succeed. A S.M.A.R.T. goal should address the following components:\\nSpecific - narrow down the scope of your goal. Rather than dealing with broad, generalized terms, focus on a clearly-defined outcome that you hope to achieve.\\nMeasurable - decide how you will measure success, both incremental and long-term. You'll need to know that you've achieved your goal at the end, and you'll need a way to track your progress along the way.\\nAttainable - make sure that your goal can feasibly be accomplished. It's good to push yourself to achieve great things, but you need to work within your capacity at this moment to accomplish this particular goal, and develop strategies to do so.\\nRealistic - ask yourself whether your goal is something you're both willing and able to strive for. Again, it's good to push yourself, but make sure that your goal isn't too far fetched.\\nTime-bound - set a clear time frame for you to meet your goal. Don't make it so close that it will be impossible to achieve, but by the same token don't give yourself an unlimited span of time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strive for integrity and honesty.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being an adult involves telling the truth and living a morally upstanding life. This can obviously be interpreted differently depending on your situation, but ultimately you should be able to take pride in the choices you've made and the life you've lived.\\nOne aspect of integrity involves following through on your commitments. If you give your word that you'll be somewhere or help someone, make sure you carry out that promise.\\nA life of integrity requires you to stand for something that you believe is just and true.\\nMorality often comes into play when people speak of integrity, but morality is not necessarily universal. However, moral integrity may be thought of as being dedicated to the pursuit of a moral life (as you define what a \\\"moral life\\\" is).\\nHonesty is often intertwined with integrity. For example, academic/creative integrity requires you to present your work as your own, and to give credit to anyone who may have contributed in any way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your life.\", \"描述\": \"Everything that helps you become a grown up builds towards taking ownership of your own life. Taking responsibility means not shifting the blame to others when things go wrong and not dodging responsibilities. Instead, a responsible adult is capable of answering for every decision she makes.\\nBeing responsible can involve many facets, depending on your age and circumstances in life.\\nResponsibility is a life-long process that involves responding to situations and circumstances, as well as engaging with every possible outcome.\\nBasic responsibility requires you to think things through, make decisions, and take the credit (or blame) for the outcome of those decisions.\\nBy planning in advance and anticipating things that might go wrong, you can more easily take responsibility for the situation as it unfolds in the future.\\nRemember that being responsible for your own life also includes celebrating your victories. Don't brag or boast, but do take the time to feel good about your accomplishments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Responsible Employee\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Manage your time.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to succeed as a working professional, you'll need to manage your time responsibly. This may mean putting off things you enjoy doing so that you can get to work on time and finish what you need to do each day. It may also require you to submit reports or projects before a deadline, which means you'll need to be aware of what day/time it is and when your obligations need to be met.\\nBe punctual. Always show up for work when you're supposed to (or a little early, just to be on the safe side), and stay until you've finished what you need to get done that day.\\nMake the most of your time each day. If something is important or a deadline is looming, prioritize your time to get those projects finished on time.\\nUse a calendar or planner to keep track of what you need to do and when.\\nTry to plan out your day either in the morning or the night before. That way you can go into work knowing what will need to be accomplished that day.\\nIf you find yourself procrastinating, remind yourself that the work still needs to be done. Putting off work now will only make things more difficult in the future.\\nFocus on one thing at a time. Keep a mental note of what needs to be tackled next, but focus on the task at hand so that you can complete it efficiently and thoroughly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take action.\", \"描述\": \"Action-oriented employees are typically considered the best kinds of workers. That's because instead of putting off tasks or having a \\\"someone else can do it\\\" attitude, an action-oriented employee takes initiative and completes the tasks that need to be addressed. This is good for business and can serve as an inspiration to other employees.\\nA responsible employee goes beyond the actions he or she is tasked with.\\nYou should try to take chances and go the extra distance to accomplish more than what's expected of you.\\nAlways ask yourself whether you're being action-oriented in the workplace, and avoid coasting by or doing the bare minimum.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be ambitious.\", \"描述\": \"Ambition is an important component of success. If you don't have goals and dreams, or if you don't work hard to accomplish those goals/dreams, you'll never be able to change your situation for the better.\\nAmbition should push you to accomplish great things.\\nIt's important to have ambition in your professional life, but also in your personal life. Push yourself to be the best person you can be, both on the job and in your personal relationships.\\nDon't just show up to work to perform the job you have; put in the extra work to show your supervisors that you're capable of taking on greater responsibilities.\\nAs you demonstrate your ambition and work ethic, you may eventually be rewarded with a promotion and/or a raise.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show attention to detail.\", \"描述\": \"Being detail-oriented can help you accomplish things more fully and in less time. Doing a sloppy job that's finished quickly will only leave more work for you and your coworkers the next day. Instead of rushing through and trying to get done as quickly as possible, take the time to do the job right.\\nAt the end of the day you should be able to take pride in the work you've done. Make sure no stone was left unturned before heading home from your shift.\\nDon't overlook any aspect of the job. If a coworker has overlooked some part of their task, offer to help or show them how it should be done.\\nIt may be helpful to think of attention to detail in terms of cleaning up a store or cafe. You'll need to wipe down the tables first before you can sweep the floors, and those tasks must be completed before you can mop the floor.\\nMake sure that every aspect of your task has been completed before moving on to the next task and before ending your shift.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prove that you're a leader.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a responsible and dedicated employee, your supervisor or manager will notice your efforts. Over time, you may be considered for a promotion when an opening arises. By taking ownership of your work, exceeding what's expected of you, and working with your coworkers for everyone's benefit, you will show your supervisors that you are capable of being a strong leader in the workplace.\\nBeing a leader requires you to first and foremost complete your own work and take responsibility for your own actions.\\nRemember that a leader is responsible for the actions of their employees just as much as he or she is responsible for their own actions.\\nLeaders should be confident yet caring. If you're able to delegate tasks while also taking a real interest in the concerns your coworkers have, you might make a great leader in your workplace.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Set a career goal that is right for you, and not for someone else.\\n\", \"Be sure to pick a career that you enjoy and love, instead of hating it or just applying to a job for the money.\\n\", \"Live within your means. This can help you tremendously as you strive to be independent and take control of your own life.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,791 | How to Be Grunge in Middle School | 1. Adopting a Grunge Attitude
1-1. Listen to grunge music.
If you want to be grunge, spend some time familiarizing yourself with various grunge bands. You should listen to well-known grunge bands that started the grunge movement in the early '90s. You can listen to grunge music on accounts like Spotify, or buy grunge albums off iTunes.
Nirvana, The Raincoats, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Sound Garden, Stone Temple Pilots, and others are all iconic grunge bands. Try listening to them in your spare time to get a sense of grunge music.
Pay attention to the lyrics. Many grunge artists sing about nonconformity and social issues. These things are major aspects of the grunge attitude and lifestyle. In addition to listening to the bands, you can read the lyrics online to try and get a sense of what different songs mean.
You should also learn a bit about the artists behind the song. Reading interviews or watching them online can give you a sense of the opinions and philosophy associated with grunge culture. You can also get a sense of grunge style by observing how people act and behave.
1-2. Be yourself.
An important aspect of grunge culture is the idea of nonconformity. People associated with the grunge culture do not care about what others think. They have messy hair, mismatched clothes, and most importantly, THEY BE THEMSELVES! If you want to be grunge, you should strive to be yourself. However, it can be difficult to be non-conforming in middle school. Cliques are a major component of your average middle school, so you'll have to take efforts to be an individual.
Find friends who are genuine. Choose people who you genuinely like, and you feel are kind and supportive of you. These kinds of people are more likely to allow you to be yourself, and will not expect you to follow certain styles or trends to be cool.
Speak up. If you feel like your friends are beginning to become a clique, point this out to them in a calm and respectful manner. You do not have to be rude, but it can be helpful to point out you feel excluding people due to difference is hurtful.
Sometimes, you may feel like you want to change. That's OK. You may want to work on bringing your grades up or having a better outlook. It's normal to change your style, opinions, and beliefs when you're young. Don't feel like a desire to change is against the grunge/non-conformist attitude. As long as you're changing for yourself, and not to appease a group, you're still thinking for yourself and therefore adopting a grunge culture.
1-3. Care about political issues.
A lot of grunge culture is about challenging the status quo. Social movements like feminism, environmentalism, and other political ideas are often of concern in grunge culture. Spend some time educating yourself about social issues and forming your own opinions if you want to be grunge.
Start watching the news. Watching the news with your parents can help expose you to a lot of issues going on in the world right now. Try to formulate opinions on things like gender issues, LGBT rights, the environment, and other issues that dominate political discourse.
Read opinion pieces online. Opinion pieces and polemics are often written with the goal of educating another person, while trying to influence their thoughts. Reading a lot of opinion pieces, from opposing sides, can help you see multiple sides of an issue, allowing you to have an informed opinion of your own.
1-4. Avoid negative aspects of grunge culture.
While grunge culture can be fun to emulate in middle school, keep in mind that there are some negative aspects of grunge culture. Social alienation, sadness, and depression are often aspects of grunge songs and the grunge mindset. While it's normal to feel a certain amount of angst and alienation as an adolescent, if you're feeling depressed or alienated for a long period of time, you should talk to someone. It's important to seek help if you're feeling sad. You can be grunge without having to feel alienated or alone.
2. Adopting the Grunge Style
2-1. Do not style your hair too much.
Grunge hair is usually somewhat messy and un-styled. Other than basic washing and conditioning, your hair does not need a lot of extra care if you want to have a grunge look. A lot of the time, grunge hair looks as if you just got out of bed. Avoid brushing or styling your hair too much. Simply let it fall where it falls and do not worry.
Do not worry about getting your hair cut too often. It's okay if your hair looks a little shaggy from time to time. In fact, this may make your hair look a bit more grunge.
2-2. Choose the right makeup.
Like hair, grunge makeup does not require a lot of work. You should avoid sparkly, colorful shades of eyeshadow and eyeliner. Instead, go for darker shades like blacks, grays, and browns. You do not need a lot of foundation or blush either. You want a more natural look. Some women do like a bolder shade of lipstick, such as a bright red, so this is something you can add to your grunge wardrobe.
Some people in grunge culture may paint their nails. As with eyeshadow, nails should be painted darker colors like black.
2-3. Choose flannel outfits.
Flannel outfits are a staple of a grunge wardrobe. Stock up on flannel button up shirts, which you can wear over a t-shirt. If you're a girl, seek out flannel skirts. If you want to be grunge, you should have quite a bit of flannel in your wardrobe.
Grunge shirts do not need to be new, fancy, or expensive. In fact, older clothing emulates the grunge style more. Consider buying shirts at a secondhand shop.
Flannel shirts are a popular, somewhat timeless wardrobe option. You can see if your parents or grandparents have any old flannel clothing. You can also borrow from older siblings.
2-4. Select the right footwear.
When assembling your grunge wardrobe, make sure you choose the right shoes. Generally, bigger and clunkier shoes are preferred. Go for large boots, like combat boots, Chuck Taylors, and Doc Martens. As the grunge style is often non-glamorous, simple sneakers or tennis shoes may be a good option as well.
As with clothing, grunge shoes do not need to be shiny or new. You can keep wearing the same pair of shoes until you've almost worn them out.
However, be careful. It can be dangerous to wear shoes with big holes in them, as your feet won't be protected when walking outside or through your school parking lot. Feel free to wear older shoes, but make sure to get a replacement if you end up with holes.
2-5. Go for leggings, jeans, and shorts.
There are a variety of types of pants you can wear if you want to be grunge. Leggings are a popular choice, particularly for girls. You can wear ripped, pattern tights under your leggings or with a skirt. Baggy jeans or pants are also popular in the grunge scene. Denim or leather shorts are another good choice.
2-6. Dress in dark colors.
Grunge tends to be toned down. When selecting your wardrobe, go for dark colors. Grays, browns, blacks, and dark greens are appropriate choices to give off the grunge persona.
As with flannel shirts, it's a good idea to seek out dark clothing at a thrift store. Older clothing is particularly fitting for grunge style.
2-7. Layer your clothing.
Layering is a major aspect of grunge style. You can wear a t-shirt under a flannel button up. You can wear a skirt with leggings underneath. Don't be afraid to use contrasting patterns or colors. A little mismatching when it comes to layering also gives off the grunge style.
Many more fashionable brands of clothing are worn in layers. If you want to be grunge, layers are great but avoid trendier, brighter layered outfits.
2-8. Try band t-shirts.
Band t-shirts are another classic aspect of the grunge style. Try wearing a t-shirt advertising a band you like. You can usually find band t-shirts at the mall, but you can also buy them online. If you go to a concert, bands will often be selling t-shirts after the concert lets out.
Remember, older clothes are better. Some band shirts, sold at stores in the mall, cost as much as $20. These are not very fitting with the grunge culture.
Vintage may be somewhat fitting with grunge. If your parents are into music, ask them if they have any old band t-shirts. An old Nirvana shirt from the '90s can really help you look grunge.
Consider shopping at thrift stores such as Goodwill and Plato's Closet for cheap, vintage shirts.
2-9. Choose the right accessories.
If you want to be grunge, you'll need certain accessories. The following are some accessories often associated with the grunge style:
Pocket chains
Spikes
Studs
Metallic zippers
Large handbags
Round sunglasses
Headscarves
3. Being Grunge in School
3-1. Review your school's dress code.
Before you try to be grunge in school, make sure to review your school's dress code. Dressing grunge can be fun, but you do not want to end up in trouble over your new style.
Oftentimes, things like wallet chains are banned by schools. They can be considered weapons in some schools. If your school has a zero tolerance policy for weapons, a chain could land you in trouble.
Make sure any t-shirts you have do not have foul language on them. Sometimes, band names can be sexually suggestive, and could land you in trouble if you wear them in school.
Certain types of jewelry or accessories may also not be allowed in your school. Read over the dress code policy in your school's handbook carefully before adding any jewelry to your outfit.
3-2. Look up policies on carrying handbags.
As many grunge kids carry large handbags, make sure these are permitted in your school. Many schools have policies that forbid you from carrying a handbag to class. You also may be required to keep purses or handbags in your locker during school hours. Teachers and school officials worry about students carrying items like weapons or alcohol in handbags, so make sure to review policy first before adding a grunge handbag to your wardrobe.
3-3. Check headphone policies.
Many schools do not allow students to listen to headphones during class. Make sure to review the headphone policy in your school. As so much of grunge culture revolves around music, you may be tempted to listen to music between classes and carry a headphone and iPod or MP3 player with you in school. You want to make sure this is permitted first.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Adopting a Grunge Attitude\\n1-1. Listen to grunge music.\\nIf you want to be grunge, spend some time familiarizing yourself with various grunge bands. You should listen to well-known grunge bands that started the grunge movement in the early '90s. You can listen to grunge music on accounts like Spotify, or buy grunge albums off iTunes.\\nNirvana, The Raincoats, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Sound Garden, Stone Temple Pilots, and others are all iconic grunge bands. Try listening to them in your spare time to get a sense of grunge music.\\nPay attention to the lyrics. Many grunge artists sing about nonconformity and social issues. These things are major aspects of the grunge attitude and lifestyle. In addition to listening to the bands, you can read the lyrics online to try and get a sense of what different songs mean.\\nYou should also learn a bit about the artists behind the song. Reading interviews or watching them online can give you a sense of the opinions and philosophy associated with grunge culture. You can also get a sense of grunge style by observing how people act and behave.\\n1-2. Be yourself.\\nAn important aspect of grunge culture is the idea of nonconformity. People associated with the grunge culture do not care about what others think. They have messy hair, mismatched clothes, and most importantly, THEY BE THEMSELVES! If you want to be grunge, you should strive to be yourself. However, it can be difficult to be non-conforming in middle school. Cliques are a major component of your average middle school, so you'll have to take efforts to be an individual.\\nFind friends who are genuine. Choose people who you genuinely like, and you feel are kind and supportive of you. These kinds of people are more likely to allow you to be yourself, and will not expect you to follow certain styles or trends to be cool.\\nSpeak up. If you feel like your friends are beginning to become a clique, point this out to them in a calm and respectful manner. You do not have to be rude, but it can be helpful to point out you feel excluding people due to difference is hurtful.\\nSometimes, you may feel like you want to change. That's OK. You may want to work on bringing your grades up or having a better outlook. It's normal to change your style, opinions, and beliefs when you're young. Don't feel like a desire to change is against the grunge/non-conformist attitude. As long as you're changing for yourself, and not to appease a group, you're still thinking for yourself and therefore adopting a grunge culture.\\n1-3. Care about political issues.\\nA lot of grunge culture is about challenging the status quo. Social movements like feminism, environmentalism, and other political ideas are often of concern in grunge culture. Spend some time educating yourself about social issues and forming your own opinions if you want to be grunge.\\nStart watching the news. Watching the news with your parents can help expose you to a lot of issues going on in the world right now. Try to formulate opinions on things like gender issues, LGBT rights, the environment, and other issues that dominate political discourse.\\nRead opinion pieces online. Opinion pieces and polemics are often written with the goal of educating another person, while trying to influence their thoughts. Reading a lot of opinion pieces, from opposing sides, can help you see multiple sides of an issue, allowing you to have an informed opinion of your own.\\n1-4. Avoid negative aspects of grunge culture.\\nWhile grunge culture can be fun to emulate in middle school, keep in mind that there are some negative aspects of grunge culture. Social alienation, sadness, and depression are often aspects of grunge songs and the grunge mindset. While it's normal to feel a certain amount of angst and alienation as an adolescent, if you're feeling depressed or alienated for a long period of time, you should talk to someone. It's important to seek help if you're feeling sad. You can be grunge without having to feel alienated or alone.\\n2. Adopting the Grunge Style\\n2-1. Do not style your hair too much.\\nGrunge hair is usually somewhat messy and un-styled. Other than basic washing and conditioning, your hair does not need a lot of extra care if you want to have a grunge look. A lot of the time, grunge hair looks as if you just got out of bed. Avoid brushing or styling your hair too much. Simply let it fall where it falls and do not worry.\\nDo not worry about getting your hair cut too often. It's okay if your hair looks a little shaggy from time to time. In fact, this may make your hair look a bit more grunge.\\n2-2. Choose the right makeup.\\nLike hair, grunge makeup does not require a lot of work. You should avoid sparkly, colorful shades of eyeshadow and eyeliner. Instead, go for darker shades like blacks, grays, and browns. You do not need a lot of foundation or blush either. You want a more natural look. Some women do like a bolder shade of lipstick, such as a bright red, so this is something you can add to your grunge wardrobe. \\nSome people in grunge culture may paint their nails. As with eyeshadow, nails should be painted darker colors like black.\\n2-3. Choose flannel outfits.\\nFlannel outfits are a staple of a grunge wardrobe. Stock up on flannel button up shirts, which you can wear over a t-shirt. If you're a girl, seek out flannel skirts. If you want to be grunge, you should have quite a bit of flannel in your wardrobe.\\nGrunge shirts do not need to be new, fancy, or expensive. In fact, older clothing emulates the grunge style more. Consider buying shirts at a secondhand shop.\\nFlannel shirts are a popular, somewhat timeless wardrobe option. You can see if your parents or grandparents have any old flannel clothing. You can also borrow from older siblings.\\n2-4. Select the right footwear.\\nWhen assembling your grunge wardrobe, make sure you choose the right shoes. Generally, bigger and clunkier shoes are preferred. Go for large boots, like combat boots, Chuck Taylors, and Doc Martens. As the grunge style is often non-glamorous, simple sneakers or tennis shoes may be a good option as well.\\nAs with clothing, grunge shoes do not need to be shiny or new. You can keep wearing the same pair of shoes until you've almost worn them out.\\nHowever, be careful. It can be dangerous to wear shoes with big holes in them, as your feet won't be protected when walking outside or through your school parking lot. Feel free to wear older shoes, but make sure to get a replacement if you end up with holes.\\n2-5. Go for leggings, jeans, and shorts.\\nThere are a variety of types of pants you can wear if you want to be grunge. Leggings are a popular choice, particularly for girls. You can wear ripped, pattern tights under your leggings or with a skirt. Baggy jeans or pants are also popular in the grunge scene. Denim or leather shorts are another good choice.\\n2-6. Dress in dark colors.\\nGrunge tends to be toned down. When selecting your wardrobe, go for dark colors. Grays, browns, blacks, and dark greens are appropriate choices to give off the grunge persona. \\nAs with flannel shirts, it's a good idea to seek out dark clothing at a thrift store. Older clothing is particularly fitting for grunge style.\\n2-7. Layer your clothing.\\nLayering is a major aspect of grunge style. You can wear a t-shirt under a flannel button up. You can wear a skirt with leggings underneath. Don't be afraid to use contrasting patterns or colors. A little mismatching when it comes to layering also gives off the grunge style. \\nMany more fashionable brands of clothing are worn in layers. If you want to be grunge, layers are great but avoid trendier, brighter layered outfits.\\n2-8. Try band t-shirts.\\nBand t-shirts are another classic aspect of the grunge style. Try wearing a t-shirt advertising a band you like. You can usually find band t-shirts at the mall, but you can also buy them online. If you go to a concert, bands will often be selling t-shirts after the concert lets out. \\nRemember, older clothes are better. Some band shirts, sold at stores in the mall, cost as much as $20. These are not very fitting with the grunge culture.\\nVintage may be somewhat fitting with grunge. If your parents are into music, ask them if they have any old band t-shirts. An old Nirvana shirt from the '90s can really help you look grunge.\\nConsider shopping at thrift stores such as Goodwill and Plato's Closet for cheap, vintage shirts.\\n2-9. Choose the right accessories.\\nIf you want to be grunge, you'll need certain accessories. The following are some accessories often associated with the grunge style: \\nPocket chains\\nSpikes\\nStuds\\nMetallic zippers\\nLarge handbags\\nRound sunglasses\\nHeadscarves\\n3. Being Grunge in School\\n3-1. Review your school's dress code.\\nBefore you try to be grunge in school, make sure to review your school's dress code. Dressing grunge can be fun, but you do not want to end up in trouble over your new style.\\nOftentimes, things like wallet chains are banned by schools. They can be considered weapons in some schools. If your school has a zero tolerance policy for weapons, a chain could land you in trouble.\\nMake sure any t-shirts you have do not have foul language on them. Sometimes, band names can be sexually suggestive, and could land you in trouble if you wear them in school.\\nCertain types of jewelry or accessories may also not be allowed in your school. Read over the dress code policy in your school's handbook carefully before adding any jewelry to your outfit.\\n3-2. Look up policies on carrying handbags.\\nAs many grunge kids carry large handbags, make sure these are permitted in your school. Many schools have policies that forbid you from carrying a handbag to class. You also may be required to keep purses or handbags in your locker during school hours. Teachers and school officials worry about students carrying items like weapons or alcohol in handbags, so make sure to review policy first before adding a grunge handbag to your wardrobe.\\n3-3. Check headphone policies.\\nMany schools do not allow students to listen to headphones during class. Make sure to review the headphone policy in your school. As so much of grunge culture revolves around music, you may be tempted to listen to music between classes and carry a headphone and iPod or MP3 player with you in school. You want to make sure this is permitted first.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Grunge started in the 1990s when bands like Nirvana and Alice in Chains were becoming big. Young adults who took part in the grunge movement began to dress in casual, Seattle-inspired clothing, and embrace a new attitude of non-conformity. If you're interested in grunge culture, there are many ways you can adopt the grunge style in middle school.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adopting a Grunge Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to grunge music.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be grunge, spend some time familiarizing yourself with various grunge bands. You should listen to well-known grunge bands that started the grunge movement in the early '90s. You can listen to grunge music on accounts like Spotify, or buy grunge albums off iTunes.\\nNirvana, The Raincoats, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Sound Garden, Stone Temple Pilots, and others are all iconic grunge bands. Try listening to them in your spare time to get a sense of grunge music.\\nPay attention to the lyrics. Many grunge artists sing about nonconformity and social issues. These things are major aspects of the grunge attitude and lifestyle. In addition to listening to the bands, you can read the lyrics online to try and get a sense of what different songs mean.\\nYou should also learn a bit about the artists behind the song. Reading interviews or watching them online can give you a sense of the opinions and philosophy associated with grunge culture. You can also get a sense of grunge style by observing how people act and behave.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"An important aspect of grunge culture is the idea of nonconformity. People associated with the grunge culture do not care about what others think. They have messy hair, mismatched clothes, and most importantly, THEY BE THEMSELVES! If you want to be grunge, you should strive to be yourself. However, it can be difficult to be non-conforming in middle school. Cliques are a major component of your average middle school, so you'll have to take efforts to be an individual.\\nFind friends who are genuine. Choose people who you genuinely like, and you feel are kind and supportive of you. These kinds of people are more likely to allow you to be yourself, and will not expect you to follow certain styles or trends to be cool.\\nSpeak up. If you feel like your friends are beginning to become a clique, point this out to them in a calm and respectful manner. You do not have to be rude, but it can be helpful to point out you feel excluding people due to difference is hurtful.\\nSometimes, you may feel like you want to change. That's OK. You may want to work on bringing your grades up or having a better outlook. It's normal to change your style, opinions, and beliefs when you're young. Don't feel like a desire to change is against the grunge/non-conformist attitude. As long as you're changing for yourself, and not to appease a group, you're still thinking for yourself and therefore adopting a grunge culture.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Care about political issues.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of grunge culture is about challenging the status quo. Social movements like feminism, environmentalism, and other political ideas are often of concern in grunge culture. Spend some time educating yourself about social issues and forming your own opinions if you want to be grunge.\\nStart watching the news. Watching the news with your parents can help expose you to a lot of issues going on in the world right now. Try to formulate opinions on things like gender issues, LGBT rights, the environment, and other issues that dominate political discourse.\\nRead opinion pieces online. Opinion pieces and polemics are often written with the goal of educating another person, while trying to influence their thoughts. Reading a lot of opinion pieces, from opposing sides, can help you see multiple sides of an issue, allowing you to have an informed opinion of your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid negative aspects of grunge culture.\", \"描述\": \"While grunge culture can be fun to emulate in middle school, keep in mind that there are some negative aspects of grunge culture. Social alienation, sadness, and depression are often aspects of grunge songs and the grunge mindset. While it's normal to feel a certain amount of angst and alienation as an adolescent, if you're feeling depressed or alienated for a long period of time, you should talk to someone. It's important to seek help if you're feeling sad. You can be grunge without having to feel alienated or alone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adopting the Grunge Style\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not style your hair too much.\", \"描述\": \"Grunge hair is usually somewhat messy and un-styled. Other than basic washing and conditioning, your hair does not need a lot of extra care if you want to have a grunge look. A lot of the time, grunge hair looks as if you just got out of bed. Avoid brushing or styling your hair too much. Simply let it fall where it falls and do not worry.\\nDo not worry about getting your hair cut too often. It's okay if your hair looks a little shaggy from time to time. In fact, this may make your hair look a bit more grunge.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose the right makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Like hair, grunge makeup does not require a lot of work. You should avoid sparkly, colorful shades of eyeshadow and eyeliner. Instead, go for darker shades like blacks, grays, and browns. You do not need a lot of foundation or blush either. You want a more natural look. Some women do like a bolder shade of lipstick, such as a bright red, so this is something you can add to your grunge wardrobe. \\nSome people in grunge culture may paint their nails. As with eyeshadow, nails should be painted darker colors like black.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose flannel outfits.\", \"描述\": \"Flannel outfits are a staple of a grunge wardrobe. Stock up on flannel button up shirts, which you can wear over a t-shirt. If you're a girl, seek out flannel skirts. If you want to be grunge, you should have quite a bit of flannel in your wardrobe.\\nGrunge shirts do not need to be new, fancy, or expensive. In fact, older clothing emulates the grunge style more. Consider buying shirts at a secondhand shop.\\nFlannel shirts are a popular, somewhat timeless wardrobe option. You can see if your parents or grandparents have any old flannel clothing. You can also borrow from older siblings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select the right footwear.\", \"描述\": \"When assembling your grunge wardrobe, make sure you choose the right shoes. Generally, bigger and clunkier shoes are preferred. Go for large boots, like combat boots, Chuck Taylors, and Doc Martens. As the grunge style is often non-glamorous, simple sneakers or tennis shoes may be a good option as well.\\nAs with clothing, grunge shoes do not need to be shiny or new. You can keep wearing the same pair of shoes until you've almost worn them out.\\nHowever, be careful. It can be dangerous to wear shoes with big holes in them, as your feet won't be protected when walking outside or through your school parking lot. Feel free to wear older shoes, but make sure to get a replacement if you end up with holes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go for leggings, jeans, and shorts.\", \"描述\": \"There are a variety of types of pants you can wear if you want to be grunge. Leggings are a popular choice, particularly for girls. You can wear ripped, pattern tights under your leggings or with a skirt. Baggy jeans or pants are also popular in the grunge scene. Denim or leather shorts are another good choice.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Dress in dark colors.\", \"描述\": \"Grunge tends to be toned down. When selecting your wardrobe, go for dark colors. Grays, browns, blacks, and dark greens are appropriate choices to give off the grunge persona. \\nAs with flannel shirts, it's a good idea to seek out dark clothing at a thrift store. Older clothing is particularly fitting for grunge style.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Layer your clothing.\", \"描述\": \"Layering is a major aspect of grunge style. You can wear a t-shirt under a flannel button up. You can wear a skirt with leggings underneath. Don't be afraid to use contrasting patterns or colors. A little mismatching when it comes to layering also gives off the grunge style. \\nMany more fashionable brands of clothing are worn in layers. If you want to be grunge, layers are great but avoid trendier, brighter layered outfits.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Try band t-shirts.\", \"描述\": \"Band t-shirts are another classic aspect of the grunge style. Try wearing a t-shirt advertising a band you like. You can usually find band t-shirts at the mall, but you can also buy them online. If you go to a concert, bands will often be selling t-shirts after the concert lets out. \\nRemember, older clothes are better. Some band shirts, sold at stores in the mall, cost as much as $20. These are not very fitting with the grunge culture.\\nVintage may be somewhat fitting with grunge. If your parents are into music, ask them if they have any old band t-shirts. An old Nirvana shirt from the '90s can really help you look grunge.\\nConsider shopping at thrift stores such as Goodwill and Plato's Closet for cheap, vintage shirts.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Choose the right accessories.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be grunge, you'll need certain accessories. The following are some accessories often associated with the grunge style: \\nPocket chains\\nSpikes\\nStuds\\nMetallic zippers\\nLarge handbags\\nRound sunglasses\\nHeadscarves\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Grunge in School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Review your school's dress code.\", \"描述\": \"Before you try to be grunge in school, make sure to review your school's dress code. Dressing grunge can be fun, but you do not want to end up in trouble over your new style.\\nOftentimes, things like wallet chains are banned by schools. They can be considered weapons in some schools. If your school has a zero tolerance policy for weapons, a chain could land you in trouble.\\nMake sure any t-shirts you have do not have foul language on them. Sometimes, band names can be sexually suggestive, and could land you in trouble if you wear them in school.\\nCertain types of jewelry or accessories may also not be allowed in your school. Read over the dress code policy in your school's handbook carefully before adding any jewelry to your outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look up policies on carrying handbags.\", \"描述\": \"As many grunge kids carry large handbags, make sure these are permitted in your school. Many schools have policies that forbid you from carrying a handbag to class. You also may be required to keep purses or handbags in your locker during school hours. Teachers and school officials worry about students carrying items like weapons or alcohol in handbags, so make sure to review policy first before adding a grunge handbag to your wardrobe.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check headphone policies.\", \"描述\": \"Many schools do not allow students to listen to headphones during class. Make sure to review the headphone policy in your school. As so much of grunge culture revolves around music, you may be tempted to listen to music between classes and carry a headphone and iPod or MP3 player with you in school. You want to make sure this is permitted first.\"}]}]}}",
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3,792 | How to Be Happy | 1. Creating a Positive Mindset
1-1. Express gratitude for the good things in your life.
Being grateful for the things you have can change your life. It helps you focus on what’s going well so you’re less likely to feel depressed about your life. Take 1-2 minutes to savor positive moments. Additionally, thank people when they do nice things for you.
Keep a gratitude journal or list 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day.
Your gratitude list might include, “my cat,” “a job I love,” “a best friend I can call anytime,” “a cozy bed,” and “good food to eat.”
When you're feeling down, look back over your gratitude list to help you feel better.
1-2. Replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk.
Negative thoughts can make it hard to feel happy, but you can change them. When you notice negative thoughts, challenge their accuracy. Then, replace the thought with a positive or neutral thought. Additionally, make positive statements to yourself throughout your day.
Let's say you catch yourself thinking, “I’m so ugly.” You might replace this thought with, “I can’t be ugly because everyone is beautiful in their own way,” or “I’m unique, and that makes me beautiful.”
Use positive affirmations like, “I can do this,” “I’m enough,” or “If I try, I’m already successful.”
1-3. Compliment yourself at least once a day.
Focus on what you’re doing well by giving yourself regular compliments. Point out your best features, celebrate your talents, and recognize your accomplishments. This will help you think positively about yourself.
Say, “This outfit looks great on me,” “I did an amazing job in that presentation,” “I’m such a great writer,” or “I love that I’m so compassionate.”
1-4. Stop comparing yourself
Everyone is on their own journey, so it’s unfair to you to measure your progress by looking at what others have accomplished. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Instead, compare yourself to where you were in the past. This will help you see how you’re progressing.
For instance, don’t worry if all your friends seem to be further along in their careers. Your time will come. Instead, compare your progress to where you were last year.
1-5. Look for something positive when you’re facing an obstacle.
Hardships and setbacks are part of life, and no one is immune from them. When you’re facing a problem, do your best to find a silver lining. This can help you feel better in the moment and may help you grow from your experiences.
For instance, let’s say you’ve lost your job. This is a really difficult experience, but you might focus on it as an opportunity to switch careers.
1-6. Use mindfulness to help you focus on the present.
Dwelling on your past and stressing about the future can negatively affect your mood. Being mindful can help you stay focused on the present so you avoid unnecessary overthinking. Here are some ways to be more mindful:
Meditate for 10 minutes.
Engage your 5 senses.
Do just one thing at a time.
Focus on how your feet move against the ground.
2. Being Your Best Self
2-1. Live according to your personal values.
Ignoring your core beliefs can make you feel distressed or conflicted. Discover your personal values by listing the things that are important to you, identifying times you’ve felt truly happy, and deciding what you really want in life. Then, align your lifestyle with your values so that you can be the person you want to be.
For instance, you might value helping others and being creative. To align with these values, you might choose a career in nursing and paint as a hobby. Additionally, you might make conscientious decisions so that you don’t hurt others.
2-2. Do at least one activity you enjoy every day.
Having fun every day helps you enjoy your life more. Make a list of activities that make you feel happy. Then, schedule time every day to do something on your list. This can help you enjoy life more and can help you become your best self.
For instance, engage in a hobby, hang out with your friends, play a board game, walk your pet, take a hot bath, read a book, see a movie, go to a concert, or try a new recipe.
If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, try it! For instance, take a class to learn how to paint or watch online tutorials to learn how to dance.
2-3. Identify your strengths
It’s easier to feel happy if you’re proud of who you are, and recognizing your strengths can help. Make a list of your talents, skills, and knowledge. Then, review it often to help you remember how awesome you are.
Your strengths might include things like solving math problems, writing, singing, or competing in athletics. Additionally, you might have people skills, analytical skills, or critical thinking skills. Similarly, you might be very creative or able to work collaboratively with people.
2-4. Work on improving your weaknesses so you can overcome them.
Everyone has weaknesses, so don’t feel bad about yours. If your weaknesses bother you, try to improve them by learning new skills or trying something different. In time, you might be able to improve yourself.
For instance, let’s say you have trouble with public speaking. You might join Toastmasters or take an improv class to get better at it.
Similarly, you might be unhappy with your fitness level. To improve yourself, you might start a workout program.
2-5. Express your emotions so they don’t get bottled up.
Your feelings are super important, so don’t try to hide them. Ignoring your emotions can actually make them become more intense. Instead, choose a healthy way to release your emotions. Here are some options:
Talk to someone.
Write in a journal.
Do something creative.
Exercise.
2-6. Spend your money on experiences rather than things.
Buying something you really want is fun, but it won’t lead to lasting happiness. Experiences bring you more joy than items, so use your spending money to pay for fun activities or trips. For more enjoyment, do things with people you care about.
For instance, you might choose a game of mini golf over a new shirt.
You should still buy items you need, like a computer for school or face wash to keep your skin clean. Don’t feel guilty for buying these types of items.
3. Building a Support System
3-1. Surround yourself with positive people.
Hanging out with positive people can boost your mood. Identify the people in your life who make you feel uplifted, then spend more time with them. Invite them to hang out one-on-one, text them, and organize group outings with them.
Don’t feel like you have to cut out friends or family who are negative. Instead, simply spend more time with your positive friends and family.
3-2. Connect with others so you feel like part of your community.
Humans need community, so being around others helps you feel happier. Focus on connecting with the people around you. You can do this by relating to them, finding common ground, or empathizing with what they’re going through.
For instance, look for things you have in common with people, even if you seem like very different people. You might both enjoy books, nature, or the same TV show.
3-3. Join a club or meetup that’s related to your interests to make friends.
If you want more people in your life, go to club or meetup events to spend time around others. Look for a club that focuses on your interests. Then, get to know the people you meet so that you can become friends.
For example, you might look for a club that reads science fiction books or a meetup group for people who like drawing.
4. Caring for Your Mind and Body
4-1. Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night so you’re well-rested.
Feeling tired can have a negative effect on your mood. Plus, it makes it hard for you to live your best life. To make sure you feel your best, follow a sleep schedule to help you fall asleep easily. Additionally, use a sleep routine to help you go to sleep faster.
A good sleep routine might include taking a warm shower, changing into your pajamas, and reading a chapter of a book in bed.
4-2. Eat a healthy, balanced diet so your body is nourished.
Nutrients give you energy, so eating well helps you feel your best. Eat fresh produce, lean proteins, and complex carbs to help you stay healthy. Additionally, cut out processed foods and sugary snacks because they’re empty calories.
Lean proteins include chicken, fish, turkey, tofu, nuts, and meat replacement products.
Complex carbs include foods like starchy vegetables and whole grains.
4-3. Exercise
Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel happy. Additionally, exercise gives you energy and helps you feel your best. Choose an exercise that you enjoy so that it’s easy to do it every day.
For instance, walk, run, dance, go to the gym, join a recreational sports team, or go swimming.
4-4. Incorporate stress relievers into your day to prevent burnout.
Stress is a normal part of life, but it can be harmful if you have too much stress. To help you manage your stress levels, try different stress relievers to see what works for you. Then, incorporate your stress relievers into your daily schedule.
You might vent to a friend, do something creative, color in an adult coloring book, engage in a hobby, journal, take a bath, or play with your pet.
4-5. Take breaks from social media to avoid feeling like you're missing out.
Social media can cause fear of missing out, also called "fomo," because it makes it seem like everyone else is doing better than you are. Keep in mind that what you see on social media is often exaggerated, and you’re only seeing people’s best moments. Additionally, stay off social media when you’re feeling down.
It might help to use an app that blocks social media for a period of time every day.
4-6. Work with a therapist if you need additional support.
You might need additional help to feel happy, and that’s okay. A therapist can help you change your thoughts and behaviors to improve your mood. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or search for one online.
Your therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.
4-7. Psychologists say the answer may be contentment, learning to find peace and acceptance in the present moment.
And this is a fundamental difference between eastern and western philosophies on happiness.While traditions such as Buddhism or Hinduism focus on happiness as an inside job, western thought has made it about something to pursue or attain, even promoting it in governing like America’s Declaration of Independence.
Tips
Try to focus more on your positive experiences rather than your painful experiences.
Live your life in a way that makes you happy. Don’t worry about what others think.
Everyone has bad days. Focus on having more good days than bad days.
Warnings
If you have a mental illness, you may need to get treatment to help you feel better. Visit your doctor or a therapist to learn about your treatment options.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating a Positive Mindset\\n1-1. Express gratitude for the good things in your life.\\nBeing grateful for the things you have can change your life. It helps you focus on what’s going well so you’re less likely to feel depressed about your life. Take 1-2 minutes to savor positive moments. Additionally, thank people when they do nice things for you.\\nKeep a gratitude journal or list 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day.\\nYour gratitude list might include, “my cat,” “a job I love,” “a best friend I can call anytime,” “a cozy bed,” and “good food to eat.”\\nWhen you're feeling down, look back over your gratitude list to help you feel better.\\n1-2. Replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk.\\nNegative thoughts can make it hard to feel happy, but you can change them. When you notice negative thoughts, challenge their accuracy. Then, replace the thought with a positive or neutral thought. Additionally, make positive statements to yourself throughout your day.\\nLet's say you catch yourself thinking, “I’m so ugly.” You might replace this thought with, “I can’t be ugly because everyone is beautiful in their own way,” or “I’m unique, and that makes me beautiful.”\\nUse positive affirmations like, “I can do this,” “I’m enough,” or “If I try, I’m already successful.”\\n1-3. Compliment yourself at least once a day.\\nFocus on what you’re doing well by giving yourself regular compliments. Point out your best features, celebrate your talents, and recognize your accomplishments. This will help you think positively about yourself.\\nSay, “This outfit looks great on me,” “I did an amazing job in that presentation,” “I’m such a great writer,” or “I love that I’m so compassionate.”\\n1-4. Stop comparing yourself\\nEveryone is on their own journey, so it’s unfair to you to measure your progress by looking at what others have accomplished. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Instead, compare yourself to where you were in the past. This will help you see how you’re progressing.\\nFor instance, don’t worry if all your friends seem to be further along in their careers. Your time will come. Instead, compare your progress to where you were last year.\\n1-5. Look for something positive when you’re facing an obstacle.\\nHardships and setbacks are part of life, and no one is immune from them. When you’re facing a problem, do your best to find a silver lining. This can help you feel better in the moment and may help you grow from your experiences.\\nFor instance, let’s say you’ve lost your job. This is a really difficult experience, but you might focus on it as an opportunity to switch careers.\\n1-6. Use mindfulness to help you focus on the present.\\nDwelling on your past and stressing about the future can negatively affect your mood. Being mindful can help you stay focused on the present so you avoid unnecessary overthinking. Here are some ways to be more mindful:\\n\\nMeditate for 10 minutes.\\nEngage your 5 senses.\\nDo just one thing at a time.\\nFocus on how your feet move against the ground.\\n2. Being Your Best Self\\n2-1. Live according to your personal values.\\nIgnoring your core beliefs can make you feel distressed or conflicted. Discover your personal values by listing the things that are important to you, identifying times you’ve felt truly happy, and deciding what you really want in life. Then, align your lifestyle with your values so that you can be the person you want to be.\\nFor instance, you might value helping others and being creative. To align with these values, you might choose a career in nursing and paint as a hobby. Additionally, you might make conscientious decisions so that you don’t hurt others.\\n2-2. Do at least one activity you enjoy every day.\\nHaving fun every day helps you enjoy your life more. Make a list of activities that make you feel happy. Then, schedule time every day to do something on your list. This can help you enjoy life more and can help you become your best self.\\nFor instance, engage in a hobby, hang out with your friends, play a board game, walk your pet, take a hot bath, read a book, see a movie, go to a concert, or try a new recipe.\\nIf there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, try it! For instance, take a class to learn how to paint or watch online tutorials to learn how to dance.\\n2-3. Identify your strengths\\nIt’s easier to feel happy if you’re proud of who you are, and recognizing your strengths can help. Make a list of your talents, skills, and knowledge. Then, review it often to help you remember how awesome you are.\\nYour strengths might include things like solving math problems, writing, singing, or competing in athletics. Additionally, you might have people skills, analytical skills, or critical thinking skills. Similarly, you might be very creative or able to work collaboratively with people.\\n2-4. Work on improving your weaknesses so you can overcome them.\\nEveryone has weaknesses, so don’t feel bad about yours. If your weaknesses bother you, try to improve them by learning new skills or trying something different. In time, you might be able to improve yourself.\\nFor instance, let’s say you have trouble with public speaking. You might join Toastmasters or take an improv class to get better at it.\\nSimilarly, you might be unhappy with your fitness level. To improve yourself, you might start a workout program.\\n2-5. Express your emotions so they don’t get bottled up.\\nYour feelings are super important, so don’t try to hide them. Ignoring your emotions can actually make them become more intense. Instead, choose a healthy way to release your emotions. Here are some options:\\nTalk to someone.\\nWrite in a journal.\\nDo something creative.\\nExercise.\\n2-6. Spend your money on experiences rather than things.\\nBuying something you really want is fun, but it won’t lead to lasting happiness. Experiences bring you more joy than items, so use your spending money to pay for fun activities or trips. For more enjoyment, do things with people you care about.\\nFor instance, you might choose a game of mini golf over a new shirt.\\nYou should still buy items you need, like a computer for school or face wash to keep your skin clean. Don’t feel guilty for buying these types of items.\\n3. Building a Support System\\n3-1. Surround yourself with positive people.\\nHanging out with positive people can boost your mood. Identify the people in your life who make you feel uplifted, then spend more time with them. Invite them to hang out one-on-one, text them, and organize group outings with them.\\nDon’t feel like you have to cut out friends or family who are negative. Instead, simply spend more time with your positive friends and family.\\n3-2. Connect with others so you feel like part of your community.\\nHumans need community, so being around others helps you feel happier. Focus on connecting with the people around you. You can do this by relating to them, finding common ground, or empathizing with what they’re going through.\\nFor instance, look for things you have in common with people, even if you seem like very different people. You might both enjoy books, nature, or the same TV show.\\n3-3. Join a club or meetup that’s related to your interests to make friends.\\nIf you want more people in your life, go to club or meetup events to spend time around others. Look for a club that focuses on your interests. Then, get to know the people you meet so that you can become friends.\\nFor example, you might look for a club that reads science fiction books or a meetup group for people who like drawing.\\n4. Caring for Your Mind and Body\\n4-1. Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night so you’re well-rested.\\nFeeling tired can have a negative effect on your mood. Plus, it makes it hard for you to live your best life. To make sure you feel your best, follow a sleep schedule to help you fall asleep easily. Additionally, use a sleep routine to help you go to sleep faster.\\nA good sleep routine might include taking a warm shower, changing into your pajamas, and reading a chapter of a book in bed.\\n4-2. Eat a healthy, balanced diet so your body is nourished.\\nNutrients give you energy, so eating well helps you feel your best. Eat fresh produce, lean proteins, and complex carbs to help you stay healthy. Additionally, cut out processed foods and sugary snacks because they’re empty calories.\\nLean proteins include chicken, fish, turkey, tofu, nuts, and meat replacement products.\\nComplex carbs include foods like starchy vegetables and whole grains.\\n4-3. Exercise\\nExercise releases endorphins, which make you feel happy. Additionally, exercise gives you energy and helps you feel your best. Choose an exercise that you enjoy so that it’s easy to do it every day.\\nFor instance, walk, run, dance, go to the gym, join a recreational sports team, or go swimming.\\n4-4. Incorporate stress relievers into your day to prevent burnout.\\nStress is a normal part of life, but it can be harmful if you have too much stress. To help you manage your stress levels, try different stress relievers to see what works for you. Then, incorporate your stress relievers into your daily schedule.\\nYou might vent to a friend, do something creative, color in an adult coloring book, engage in a hobby, journal, take a bath, or play with your pet.\\n4-5. Take breaks from social media to avoid feeling like you're missing out.\\nSocial media can cause fear of missing out, also called \\\"fomo,\\\" because it makes it seem like everyone else is doing better than you are. Keep in mind that what you see on social media is often exaggerated, and you’re only seeing people’s best moments. Additionally, stay off social media when you’re feeling down.\\nIt might help to use an app that blocks social media for a period of time every day.\\n4-6. Work with a therapist if you need additional support.\\nYou might need additional help to feel happy, and that’s okay. A therapist can help you change your thoughts and behaviors to improve your mood. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or search for one online.\\nYour therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.\\n4-7. Psychologists say the answer may be contentment, learning to find peace and acceptance in the present moment.\\nAnd this is a fundamental difference between eastern and western philosophies on happiness.While traditions such as Buddhism or Hinduism focus on happiness as an inside job, western thought has made it about something to pursue or attain, even promoting it in governing like America’s Declaration of Independence.\\nTips\\nTry to focus more on your positive experiences rather than your painful experiences.\\nLive your life in a way that makes you happy. Don’t worry about what others think.\\nEveryone has bad days. Focus on having more good days than bad days.\\nWarnings\\nIf you have a mental illness, you may need to get treatment to help you feel better. Visit your doctor or a therapist to learn about your treatment options.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Happiness is a great goal to have, and it’s something you’ll need to work towards every day. Being happy isn't something you achieve and then hold onto — it’s a series of decisions that you make every day. Start by cultivating positivity in your life and living your life in a way that feels good to you. Additionally, spend time with positive people, connect with others, and support a healthy body and mind. However, keep in mind that mental illnesses like depression can make it hard to be happy without treatment from a mental health provider.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating a Positive Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express gratitude for the good things in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Being grateful for the things you have can change your life. It helps you focus on what’s going well so you’re less likely to feel depressed about your life. Take 1-2 minutes to savor positive moments. Additionally, thank people when they do nice things for you.\\nKeep a gratitude journal or list 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day.\\nYour gratitude list might include, “my cat,” “a job I love,” “a best friend I can call anytime,” “a cozy bed,” and “good food to eat.”\\nWhen you're feeling down, look back over your gratitude list to help you feel better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"Negative thoughts can make it hard to feel happy, but you can change them. When you notice negative thoughts, challenge their accuracy. Then, replace the thought with a positive or neutral thought. Additionally, make positive statements to yourself throughout your day.\\nLet's say you catch yourself thinking, “I’m so ugly.” You might replace this thought with, “I can’t be ugly because everyone is beautiful in their own way,” or “I’m unique, and that makes me beautiful.”\\nUse positive affirmations like, “I can do this,” “I’m enough,” or “If I try, I’m already successful.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment yourself at least once a day.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on what you’re doing well by giving yourself regular compliments. Point out your best features, celebrate your talents, and recognize your accomplishments. This will help you think positively about yourself.\\nSay, “This outfit looks great on me,” “I did an amazing job in that presentation,” “I’m such a great writer,” or “I love that I’m so compassionate.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop comparing yourself\", \"描述\": \"Everyone is on their own journey, so it’s unfair to you to measure your progress by looking at what others have accomplished. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Instead, compare yourself to where you were in the past. This will help you see how you’re progressing.\\nFor instance, don’t worry if all your friends seem to be further along in their careers. Your time will come. Instead, compare your progress to where you were last year.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look for something positive when you’re facing an obstacle.\", \"描述\": \"Hardships and setbacks are part of life, and no one is immune from them. When you’re facing a problem, do your best to find a silver lining. This can help you feel better in the moment and may help you grow from your experiences.\\nFor instance, let’s say you’ve lost your job. This is a really difficult experience, but you might focus on it as an opportunity to switch careers.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use mindfulness to help you focus on the present.\", \"描述\": \"Dwelling on your past and stressing about the future can negatively affect your mood. Being mindful can help you stay focused on the present so you avoid unnecessary overthinking. Here are some ways to be more mindful:\\n\\nMeditate for 10 minutes.\\nEngage your 5 senses.\\nDo just one thing at a time.\\nFocus on how your feet move against the ground.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Your Best Self\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Live according to your personal values.\", \"描述\": \"Ignoring your core beliefs can make you feel distressed or conflicted. Discover your personal values by listing the things that are important to you, identifying times you’ve felt truly happy, and deciding what you really want in life. Then, align your lifestyle with your values so that you can be the person you want to be.\\nFor instance, you might value helping others and being creative. To align with these values, you might choose a career in nursing and paint as a hobby. Additionally, you might make conscientious decisions so that you don’t hurt others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do at least one activity you enjoy every day.\", \"描述\": \"Having fun every day helps you enjoy your life more. Make a list of activities that make you feel happy. Then, schedule time every day to do something on your list. This can help you enjoy life more and can help you become your best self.\\nFor instance, engage in a hobby, hang out with your friends, play a board game, walk your pet, take a hot bath, read a book, see a movie, go to a concert, or try a new recipe.\\nIf there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, try it! For instance, take a class to learn how to paint or watch online tutorials to learn how to dance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify your strengths\", \"描述\": \"It’s easier to feel happy if you’re proud of who you are, and recognizing your strengths can help. Make a list of your talents, skills, and knowledge. Then, review it often to help you remember how awesome you are.\\nYour strengths might include things like solving math problems, writing, singing, or competing in athletics. Additionally, you might have people skills, analytical skills, or critical thinking skills. Similarly, you might be very creative or able to work collaboratively with people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on improving your weaknesses so you can overcome them.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has weaknesses, so don’t feel bad about yours. If your weaknesses bother you, try to improve them by learning new skills or trying something different. In time, you might be able to improve yourself.\\nFor instance, let’s say you have trouble with public speaking. You might join Toastmasters or take an improv class to get better at it.\\nSimilarly, you might be unhappy with your fitness level. To improve yourself, you might start a workout program.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Express your emotions so they don’t get bottled up.\", \"描述\": \"Your feelings are super important, so don’t try to hide them. Ignoring your emotions can actually make them become more intense. Instead, choose a healthy way to release your emotions. Here are some options:\\nTalk to someone.\\nWrite in a journal.\\nDo something creative.\\nExercise.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Spend your money on experiences rather than things.\", \"描述\": \"Buying something you really want is fun, but it won’t lead to lasting happiness. Experiences bring you more joy than items, so use your spending money to pay for fun activities or trips. For more enjoyment, do things with people you care about.\\nFor instance, you might choose a game of mini golf over a new shirt.\\nYou should still buy items you need, like a computer for school or face wash to keep your skin clean. Don’t feel guilty for buying these types of items.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building a Support System\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with positive people.\", \"描述\": \"Hanging out with positive people can boost your mood. Identify the people in your life who make you feel uplifted, then spend more time with them. Invite them to hang out one-on-one, text them, and organize group outings with them.\\nDon’t feel like you have to cut out friends or family who are negative. Instead, simply spend more time with your positive friends and family.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Connect with others so you feel like part of your community.\", \"描述\": \"Humans need community, so being around others helps you feel happier. Focus on connecting with the people around you. You can do this by relating to them, finding common ground, or empathizing with what they’re going through.\\nFor instance, look for things you have in common with people, even if you seem like very different people. You might both enjoy books, nature, or the same TV show.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join a club or meetup that’s related to your interests to make friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you want more people in your life, go to club or meetup events to spend time around others. Look for a club that focuses on your interests. Then, get to know the people you meet so that you can become friends.\\nFor example, you might look for a club that reads science fiction books or a meetup group for people who like drawing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Caring for Your Mind and Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night so you’re well-rested.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling tired can have a negative effect on your mood. Plus, it makes it hard for you to live your best life. To make sure you feel your best, follow a sleep schedule to help you fall asleep easily. Additionally, use a sleep routine to help you go to sleep faster.\\nA good sleep routine might include taking a warm shower, changing into your pajamas, and reading a chapter of a book in bed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy, balanced diet so your body is nourished.\", \"描述\": \"Nutrients give you energy, so eating well helps you feel your best. Eat fresh produce, lean proteins, and complex carbs to help you stay healthy. Additionally, cut out processed foods and sugary snacks because they’re empty calories.\\nLean proteins include chicken, fish, turkey, tofu, nuts, and meat replacement products.\\nComplex carbs include foods like starchy vegetables and whole grains.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel happy. Additionally, exercise gives you energy and helps you feel your best. Choose an exercise that you enjoy so that it’s easy to do it every day.\\nFor instance, walk, run, dance, go to the gym, join a recreational sports team, or go swimming.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Incorporate stress relievers into your day to prevent burnout.\", \"描述\": \"Stress is a normal part of life, but it can be harmful if you have too much stress. To help you manage your stress levels, try different stress relievers to see what works for you. Then, incorporate your stress relievers into your daily schedule.\\nYou might vent to a friend, do something creative, color in an adult coloring book, engage in a hobby, journal, take a bath, or play with your pet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take breaks from social media to avoid feeling like you're missing out.\", \"描述\": \"Social media can cause fear of missing out, also called \\\"fomo,\\\" because it makes it seem like everyone else is doing better than you are. Keep in mind that what you see on social media is often exaggerated, and you’re only seeing people’s best moments. Additionally, stay off social media when you’re feeling down.\\nIt might help to use an app that blocks social media for a period of time every day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Work with a therapist if you need additional support.\", \"描述\": \"You might need additional help to feel happy, and that’s okay. A therapist can help you change your thoughts and behaviors to improve your mood. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or search for one online.\\nYour therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Psychologists say the answer may be contentment, learning to find peace and acceptance in the present moment.\", \"描述\": \"And this is a fundamental difference between eastern and western philosophies on happiness.While traditions such as Buddhism or Hinduism focus on happiness as an inside job, western thought has made it about something to pursue or attain, even promoting it in governing like America’s Declaration of Independence.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to focus more on your positive experiences rather than your painful experiences.\\n\", \"Live your life in a way that makes you happy. Don’t worry about what others think.\\n\", \"Everyone has bad days. Focus on having more good days than bad days.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you have a mental illness, you may need to get treatment to help you feel better. Visit your doctor or a therapist to learn about your treatment options.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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3,793 | How to Be Happy (As a Teen Girl) | 1. Steps
1-1. Be yourself.
You can't be truly happy unless you know the person who you're trying to make happy (YOU!). Spend some time alone to think about who you are and what your purpose in life is, so that you can use that as a guide in your life.
1-2. Make friends.
Communicate. Chat with your friends about anything; from movies and music, to fashion and crushes. Being a (teen) girl should be fun, exciting, and full of new surprises!
1-3. Enjoy giggles with your best friends by going to sleepovers, parties, and events together.
Try to go shopping, especially on weekends, or watch a new movie together as a group. Also, try to make new friends. When you grow up, you start to feel insecure about yourself. Your appearance and your body are your sole focus all of a sudden. Remember that curves are the must have accessory, so don't diet because your "friends" tell you to, or because you see airbrushed celebrities, or just because you see yourself as a little bit chubby. Just remember to drink plenty of water every day, try to eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and exercise for around thirty minutes a day. Having a body that you like will help to bring up your confidence.
1-4. Find what you love.
Whether it's music, volleyball, dancing, or singing into your tattered hairbrush, everyone has a passion that makes them smile. Practice doing what you love, with your friends, or flying solo.
1-5. Spend quality time with your mother.
Maybe it's watching a movie together, or just having a girl gossip! Mothers are like your best friend, except they're always there for you and don't judge. Also talk to the rest of your family! Chat with friends, and keep in touch with female cousins and aunts.
1-6. Know that you and you alone have your ideas.
Don't just let them sit in the back of your mind; share them with the world! It is the only way to make your wildest dreams come true.
1-7. Pick your friends wisely.
If you find a person or a group of people that you can trust, have fun with, talk personally with, and they make you happy when you're around them, then you've probably found good friends. If your friends try to coax you into doing bad things or things you don't want to do, don't. You don't have to give in. If they're strongly pressuring you to do bad things, find new friends. Remember that you become the people that you hang out with. If you hang out with bad influences then you will become like them. If you hang out with good influenced people then you will become like them. Be a good judge of character.
Tips
Be a teenager while you still can! Sing, dance, smile, the world is your teenage playground. Have fun with your youth. Sing, dance, and take every opportunity to have fun and do your best!
If people walk all over you, don't let them, even if they are family. It will only get worse as time goes on until you lose your voice. It can take years to get it back.
Know that sometimes, you have to be your own best friend.
Warnings
People often think of happiness as the instant outcome of having good friends and doing enjoyable activities. Such a view is not very wise as it limits life to what you can grab from it. A deeper sense of happiness is often found when people find their 'purpose' in life and seek to achieve that purpose even at the expense of immediate gratification.
If you're being bullied, don't beat yourself up. Tell a trusted adult, and stand up to the bully. Be confident and walk tall, because they're the childish ones.
If someone hurts you physically, let someone know and defend yourself. If someone has harsh words or comments, come back at them calmly with intelligence.
If your friends are pressuring you into doing things you aren't willing to do or know you shouldn't do, find new friends. Some of you are thinking "a lot easier typed than done", but it's better to go through a few awkward days than to get caught doing something you might not be able to get out of.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Be yourself.\\nYou can't be truly happy unless you know the person who you're trying to make happy (YOU!). Spend some time alone to think about who you are and what your purpose in life is, so that you can use that as a guide in your life.\\n1-2. Make friends.\\nCommunicate. Chat with your friends about anything; from movies and music, to fashion and crushes. Being a (teen) girl should be fun, exciting, and full of new surprises!\\n1-3. Enjoy giggles with your best friends by going to sleepovers, parties, and events together.\\nTry to go shopping, especially on weekends, or watch a new movie together as a group. Also, try to make new friends. When you grow up, you start to feel insecure about yourself. Your appearance and your body are your sole focus all of a sudden. Remember that curves are the must have accessory, so don't diet because your \\\"friends\\\" tell you to, or because you see airbrushed celebrities, or just because you see yourself as a little bit chubby. Just remember to drink plenty of water every day, try to eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and exercise for around thirty minutes a day. Having a body that you like will help to bring up your confidence.\\n1-4. Find what you love.\\nWhether it's music, volleyball, dancing, or singing into your tattered hairbrush, everyone has a passion that makes them smile. Practice doing what you love, with your friends, or flying solo.\\n1-5. Spend quality time with your mother.\\nMaybe it's watching a movie together, or just having a girl gossip! Mothers are like your best friend, except they're always there for you and don't judge. Also talk to the rest of your family! Chat with friends, and keep in touch with female cousins and aunts.\\n1-6. Know that you and you alone have your ideas.\\nDon't just let them sit in the back of your mind; share them with the world! It is the only way to make your wildest dreams come true.\\n1-7. Pick your friends wisely.\\nIf you find a person or a group of people that you can trust, have fun with, talk personally with, and they make you happy when you're around them, then you've probably found good friends. If your friends try to coax you into doing bad things or things you don't want to do, don't. You don't have to give in. If they're strongly pressuring you to do bad things, find new friends. Remember that you become the people that you hang out with. If you hang out with bad influences then you will become like them. If you hang out with good influenced people then you will become like them. Be a good judge of character.\\nTips\\nBe a teenager while you still can! Sing, dance, smile, the world is your teenage playground. Have fun with your youth. Sing, dance, and take every opportunity to have fun and do your best!\\nIf people walk all over you, don't let them, even if they are family. It will only get worse as time goes on until you lose your voice. It can take years to get it back.\\nKnow that sometimes, you have to be your own best friend.\\nWarnings\\nPeople often think of happiness as the instant outcome of having good friends and doing enjoyable activities. Such a view is not very wise as it limits life to what you can grab from it. A deeper sense of happiness is often found when people find their 'purpose' in life and seek to achieve that purpose even at the expense of immediate gratification.\\nIf you're being bullied, don't beat yourself up. Tell a trusted adult, and stand up to the bully. Be confident and walk tall, because they're the childish ones.\\nIf someone hurts you physically, let someone know and defend yourself. If someone has harsh words or comments, come back at them calmly with intelligence.\\nIf your friends are pressuring you into doing things you aren't willing to do or know you shouldn't do, find new friends. Some of you are thinking \\\"a lot easier typed than done\\\", but it's better to go through a few awkward days than to get caught doing something you might not be able to get out of.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A girl's teenage years are going to stay with her for the rest of her life. Adults who can barely remember what they said two weeks ago are able to recall important or memorable events that occurred when they were teenagers. If you want to look back on joyful times, instead of periods of misery and despair, then it's obvious that you have to accomplish one thing; being happy. However, being happy isn't as simple as it seems, especially as being a teenager is no easy job. If you're a teenage girl looking for happiness, this is the article for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You can't be truly happy unless you know the person who you're trying to make happy (YOU!). Spend some time alone to think about who you are and what your purpose in life is, so that you can use that as a guide in your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make friends.\", \"描述\": \"Communicate. Chat with your friends about anything; from movies and music, to fashion and crushes. Being a (teen) girl should be fun, exciting, and full of new surprises!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoy giggles with your best friends by going to sleepovers, parties, and events together.\", \"描述\": \"Try to go shopping, especially on weekends, or watch a new movie together as a group. Also, try to make new friends. When you grow up, you start to feel insecure about yourself. Your appearance and your body are your sole focus all of a sudden. Remember that curves are the must have accessory, so don't diet because your \\\"friends\\\" tell you to, or because you see airbrushed celebrities, or just because you see yourself as a little bit chubby. Just remember to drink plenty of water every day, try to eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and exercise for around thirty minutes a day. Having a body that you like will help to bring up your confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find what you love.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's music, volleyball, dancing, or singing into your tattered hairbrush, everyone has a passion that makes them smile. Practice doing what you love, with your friends, or flying solo.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spend quality time with your mother.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe it's watching a movie together, or just having a girl gossip! Mothers are like your best friend, except they're always there for you and don't judge. Also talk to the rest of your family! Chat with friends, and keep in touch with female cousins and aunts.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know that you and you alone have your ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just let them sit in the back of your mind; share them with the world! It is the only way to make your wildest dreams come true.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pick your friends wisely.\", \"描述\": \"If you find a person or a group of people that you can trust, have fun with, talk personally with, and they make you happy when you're around them, then you've probably found good friends. If your friends try to coax you into doing bad things or things you don't want to do, don't. You don't have to give in. If they're strongly pressuring you to do bad things, find new friends. Remember that you become the people that you hang out with. If you hang out with bad influences then you will become like them. If you hang out with good influenced people then you will become like them. Be a good judge of character.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be a teenager while you still can! Sing, dance, smile, the world is your teenage playground. Have fun with your youth. Sing, dance, and take every opportunity to have fun and do your best!\\n\", \"If people walk all over you, don't let them, even if they are family. It will only get worse as time goes on until you lose your voice. It can take years to get it back.\\n\", \"Know that sometimes, you have to be your own best friend.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"People often think of happiness as the instant outcome of having good friends and doing enjoyable activities. Such a view is not very wise as it limits life to what you can grab from it. A deeper sense of happiness is often found when people find their 'purpose' in life and seek to achieve that purpose even at the expense of immediate gratification.\\n\", \"If you're being bullied, don't beat yourself up. Tell a trusted adult, and stand up to the bully. Be confident and walk tall, because they're the childish ones.\\n\", \"If someone hurts you physically, let someone know and defend yourself. If someone has harsh words or comments, come back at them calmly with intelligence.\\n\", \"If your friends are pressuring you into doing things you aren't willing to do or know you shouldn't do, find new friends. Some of you are thinking \\\"a lot easier typed than done\\\", but it's better to go through a few awkward days than to get caught doing something you might not be able to get out of.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,794 | How to Be Happy After Losing a Competition | 1. Accepting Your Loss
1-1. Congratulate your opponent(s).
Commending your opponent for a game well-played is a classy way to handle defeat, and a good habit to develop for all competition. While you might have a knee-jerk reaction to loss at first, losing gracefully is a valuable life skill that can apply to many aspects of life. Offering a handshake, high five or simple congratulations to someone who beat you is an excellent show of sportsmanship and a positive step in processing a loss.
If you can, ask them about what they did to win, or how they practice. This can help you become more competitive, or find a weak spot in their strategy.
1-2. Talk about the loss.
Success in competition means enjoying, and benefitting from, your participation in a game or event; this success requires certain mental skills, including people skills, and the ability to deal effectively with emotions. Discussing your loss- with friends, family, teammates, a coach, or anyone else who will listen- is a healthy way to acknowledge your feelings after a competition, and to reinforce your commitment to the game itself.
Approach the topic by saying something simple, like, "I'm feeling down about losing, can I talk to you about it?"
You're not alone! Remember—a lot of successful CEOs, actors, and professional athletes have experienced more losses than wins.
1-3. Make a list of the things you gained from participating.
It is important to remember that competition is about more than just a win and a loss. Performance, mastery of skill and sportsmanship are all vital components of the experience that do not hinge on beating an opponent. To help you focus on the good, write down some of the benefits that your participation in the competition provided, such as:
Mental and physical exercise
Perseverance and determination
Social interaction and friendship
Coping skills
2. Keeping Your Spirits High
2-1. Enjoy some funny, lighthearted entertainment.
Losing a competition may inspire negative thoughts and emotions, which can contribute to problems of mental health if they are dwelled upon for too long. To avoid overthinking your loss, look for fun distractions that will boost your spirit and promote a more optimistic outlook. A fun diversion might be:
going to the movies
going to a stand up comedy show
watching a sitcom or animated T.V. show
looking up cute and funny video clips online
2-2. Give yourself a consolation prize.
Whether or not you win a competition, your hard work and participation deserve to be rewarded. If you are sad about losing, treating yourself is an excellent way of boosting your mood and acknowledging your merit. “Retail therapy” has been shown to promote happiness by providing a stronger sense of control over a person’s environment and alleviating sadness.
2-3. Write down a list of great things about yourself.
Everyone needs a
self-esteem boost every once in a while, and it is important to remind yourself what a valuable person you are. If a loss or other perceived failure has you down, make a list of your best features, skills and traits, and recall some compliments you received in the past that made you feel good about yourself. The act of writing these things down will force you to acknowledge just how awesome you are!
3. Preparing for the Next Competition
3-1. Establish your game plan or strategy.
Mental preparedness is a crucial component of competing, especially when you are coming back from a loss. Self-doubt and second-guessing may blur your focus and prevent you from bringing your "A game" to the competition. Committing to a plan or strategy beforehand, particularly one that implements things that you learned from your last competition, will allow you to perform in a decisive and confident manner.
In a swimming competition, for example, a swimmer's strategy might involve considering whether to go as fast as possible right after the dive, break out mid-race, or alternate between high and low speed.
3-2. Psych yourself up with music.
Music is an excellent way to get back into the rhythm of competition after loss. It has been shown that music can improve performance by lowering a competitor's perception of effort, steering their mind away from the perception of fatigue and quelling feelings of anxiety before a competition. Choose a playlist or album that puts you in the right frame of mind and helps you feel good about competing.
For example, a playlist for basketball might be fast-paced and sharp, so that you can get your heart pumping. On the other end, if it's a diving or target shooting competition, consider a calming soundtrack to steady your breath.
3-3. Find a lucky charm or pre-game ritual.
Good luck charms or rituals have been proven to improve performance by boosting competitors' belief in their ability to accomplish a task. Choosing a special keepsake or tradition of your own might be especially useful if your self-assuredness is shaken after a losing a competition. While overemphasis on superstition is not ideal, it might be a positive move to add a fun, confidence-boosting element to your routine while competing, such as:
a fun accessory to wear while competing
a song to play or sing before a competition
a favorite, pre-game meal, or snack
a handshake, hug, or other ritual with friends
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting Your Loss\\n1-1. Congratulate your opponent(s).\\nCommending your opponent for a game well-played is a classy way to handle defeat, and a good habit to develop for all competition. While you might have a knee-jerk reaction to loss at first, losing gracefully is a valuable life skill that can apply to many aspects of life. Offering a handshake, high five or simple congratulations to someone who beat you is an excellent show of sportsmanship and a positive step in processing a loss.\\nIf you can, ask them about what they did to win, or how they practice. This can help you become more competitive, or find a weak spot in their strategy.\\n1-2. Talk about the loss.\\nSuccess in competition means enjoying, and benefitting from, your participation in a game or event; this success requires certain mental skills, including people skills, and the ability to deal effectively with emotions. Discussing your loss- with friends, family, teammates, a coach, or anyone else who will listen- is a healthy way to acknowledge your feelings after a competition, and to reinforce your commitment to the game itself.\\nApproach the topic by saying something simple, like, \\\"I'm feeling down about losing, can I talk to you about it?\\\"\\nYou're not alone! Remember—a lot of successful CEOs, actors, and professional athletes have experienced more losses than wins.\\n1-3. Make a list of the things you gained from participating.\\nIt is important to remember that competition is about more than just a win and a loss. Performance, mastery of skill and sportsmanship are all vital components of the experience that do not hinge on beating an opponent. To help you focus on the good, write down some of the benefits that your participation in the competition provided, such as:\\nMental and physical exercise\\nPerseverance and determination\\nSocial interaction and friendship\\nCoping skills\\n2. Keeping Your Spirits High\\n2-1. Enjoy some funny, lighthearted entertainment.\\nLosing a competition may inspire negative thoughts and emotions, which can contribute to problems of mental health if they are dwelled upon for too long. To avoid overthinking your loss, look for fun distractions that will boost your spirit and promote a more optimistic outlook. A fun diversion might be:\\ngoing to the movies\\ngoing to a stand up comedy show\\nwatching a sitcom or animated T.V. show\\nlooking up cute and funny video clips online\\n2-2. Give yourself a consolation prize.\\nWhether or not you win a competition, your hard work and participation deserve to be rewarded. If you are sad about losing, treating yourself is an excellent way of boosting your mood and acknowledging your merit. “Retail therapy” has been shown to promote happiness by providing a stronger sense of control over a person’s environment and alleviating sadness.\\n2-3. Write down a list of great things about yourself.\\nEveryone needs a \\nself-esteem boost every once in a while, and it is important to remind yourself what a valuable person you are. If a loss or other perceived failure has you down, make a list of your best features, skills and traits, and recall some compliments you received in the past that made you feel good about yourself. The act of writing these things down will force you to acknowledge just how awesome you are!\\n3. Preparing for the Next Competition\\n3-1. Establish your game plan or strategy.\\nMental preparedness is a crucial component of competing, especially when you are coming back from a loss. Self-doubt and second-guessing may blur your focus and prevent you from bringing your \\\"A game\\\" to the competition. Committing to a plan or strategy beforehand, particularly one that implements things that you learned from your last competition, will allow you to perform in a decisive and confident manner.\\nIn a swimming competition, for example, a swimmer's strategy might involve considering whether to go as fast as possible right after the dive, break out mid-race, or alternate between high and low speed.\\n3-2. Psych yourself up with music.\\nMusic is an excellent way to get back into the rhythm of competition after loss. It has been shown that music can improve performance by lowering a competitor's perception of effort, steering their mind away from the perception of fatigue and quelling feelings of anxiety before a competition. Choose a playlist or album that puts you in the right frame of mind and helps you feel good about competing.\\nFor example, a playlist for basketball might be fast-paced and sharp, so that you can get your heart pumping. On the other end, if it's a diving or target shooting competition, consider a calming soundtrack to steady your breath.\\n3-3. Find a lucky charm or pre-game ritual.\\nGood luck charms or rituals have been proven to improve performance by boosting competitors' belief in their ability to accomplish a task. Choosing a special keepsake or tradition of your own might be especially useful if your self-assuredness is shaken after a losing a competition. While overemphasis on superstition is not ideal, it might be a positive move to add a fun, confidence-boosting element to your routine while competing, such as:\\na fun accessory to wear while competing\\na song to play or sing before a competition\\na favorite, pre-game meal, or snack\\na handshake, hug, or other ritual with friends\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are a lot of benefits to be gained from participating in a competition, such as perseverance, mental and physical exercise, and social interaction. The most important benefit, though, is the gain of coping skills. Accepting your loss, keeping your spirits high, and preparing for your next competition are ways to deal with losing that will allow you to feel happy about your participation and ready to face the next challenge.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting Your Loss\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Congratulate your opponent(s).\", \"描述\": \"Commending your opponent for a game well-played is a classy way to handle defeat, and a good habit to develop for all competition. While you might have a knee-jerk reaction to loss at first, losing gracefully is a valuable life skill that can apply to many aspects of life. Offering a handshake, high five or simple congratulations to someone who beat you is an excellent show of sportsmanship and a positive step in processing a loss.\\nIf you can, ask them about what they did to win, or how they practice. This can help you become more competitive, or find a weak spot in their strategy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about the loss.\", \"描述\": \"Success in competition means enjoying, and benefitting from, your participation in a game or event; this success requires certain mental skills, including people skills, and the ability to deal effectively with emotions. Discussing your loss- with friends, family, teammates, a coach, or anyone else who will listen- is a healthy way to acknowledge your feelings after a competition, and to reinforce your commitment to the game itself.\\nApproach the topic by saying something simple, like, \\\"I'm feeling down about losing, can I talk to you about it?\\\"\\nYou're not alone! Remember—a lot of successful CEOs, actors, and professional athletes have experienced more losses than wins.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a list of the things you gained from participating.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to remember that competition is about more than just a win and a loss. Performance, mastery of skill and sportsmanship are all vital components of the experience that do not hinge on beating an opponent. To help you focus on the good, write down some of the benefits that your participation in the competition provided, such as:\\nMental and physical exercise\\nPerseverance and determination\\nSocial interaction and friendship\\nCoping skills\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Spirits High\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy some funny, lighthearted entertainment.\", \"描述\": \"Losing a competition may inspire negative thoughts and emotions, which can contribute to problems of mental health if they are dwelled upon for too long. To avoid overthinking your loss, look for fun distractions that will boost your spirit and promote a more optimistic outlook. A fun diversion might be:\\ngoing to the movies\\ngoing to a stand up comedy show\\nwatching a sitcom or animated T.V. show\\nlooking up cute and funny video clips online\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a consolation prize.\", \"描述\": \"Whether or not you win a competition, your hard work and participation deserve to be rewarded. If you are sad about losing, treating yourself is an excellent way of boosting your mood and acknowledging your merit. “Retail therapy” has been shown to promote happiness by providing a stronger sense of control over a person’s environment and alleviating sadness.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down a list of great things about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone needs a \\nself-esteem boost every once in a while, and it is important to remind yourself what a valuable person you are. If a loss or other perceived failure has you down, make a list of your best features, skills and traits, and recall some compliments you received in the past that made you feel good about yourself. The act of writing these things down will force you to acknowledge just how awesome you are!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preparing for the Next Competition\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establish your game plan or strategy.\", \"描述\": \"Mental preparedness is a crucial component of competing, especially when you are coming back from a loss. Self-doubt and second-guessing may blur your focus and prevent you from bringing your \\\"A game\\\" to the competition. Committing to a plan or strategy beforehand, particularly one that implements things that you learned from your last competition, will allow you to perform in a decisive and confident manner.\\nIn a swimming competition, for example, a swimmer's strategy might involve considering whether to go as fast as possible right after the dive, break out mid-race, or alternate between high and low speed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Psych yourself up with music.\", \"描述\": \"Music is an excellent way to get back into the rhythm of competition after loss. It has been shown that music can improve performance by lowering a competitor's perception of effort, steering their mind away from the perception of fatigue and quelling feelings of anxiety before a competition. Choose a playlist or album that puts you in the right frame of mind and helps you feel good about competing.\\nFor example, a playlist for basketball might be fast-paced and sharp, so that you can get your heart pumping. On the other end, if it's a diving or target shooting competition, consider a calming soundtrack to steady your breath.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a lucky charm or pre-game ritual.\", \"描述\": \"Good luck charms or rituals have been proven to improve performance by boosting competitors' belief in their ability to accomplish a task. Choosing a special keepsake or tradition of your own might be especially useful if your self-assuredness is shaken after a losing a competition. While overemphasis on superstition is not ideal, it might be a positive move to add a fun, confidence-boosting element to your routine while competing, such as:\\na fun accessory to wear while competing\\na song to play or sing before a competition\\na favorite, pre-game meal, or snack\\na handshake, hug, or other ritual with friends\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,795 | How to Be Happy After Love Failure | 1. Processing Your Emotions
1-1. Give yourself time.
It is natural to feel sad and out-of-sorts for a while when love fails. Don't expect yourself to be over your ex in a day or two. Be patient with yourself, and work through everything you are feeling about the breakup. The only way you will eventually be happy is if you give yourself time to completely move on.
No matter what the details of the situation are, it's painful and your sense of feeling grounded in the world can go out the window, which is totally normal.
Don’t immediately rush into another relationship or try find someone new to love. Make time to get over this first.
Allow yourself time to process everything that you are feeling. It's okay to think about the love and why it failed.
People may tell you to just get over it. Don’t let anyone else try to rush you into getting over your failed love.
However, if it has been several months since your love failed, you may want to put more effort into moving on.
1-2. Move past denial.
At first you may not want to believe that this love has failed. Don’t get stuck pretending that nothing has changed and that your love is the same as it was. In order to move on and be happy you have to stop denying (to yourself and to others) that this love failed.
Don’t contact your ex and act as if things are still the same. This will probably make your ex annoyed or angry and it will make it harder for you to move on and be happy.
Put away reminders of your ex. For example, if the background on your phone is a picture of the two of you, then change it.
Don’t lie to people if they ask you about the relationship. You don’t have to go into detail, but you should be honest with them.
You might try saying, “We didn’t work out, but I’d rather not talk about it any further than that.” Then change the subject.
1-3. Accept that it's over.
Even though you may admit that your love has failed, you might think that if you change certain things about yourself or can convince your ex the love can work, you’ll get back together. This usually doesn’t work. Instead, accept that it’s over so that you can move on with the rest of your life and be happy.
Stop trying to think of ways to make your love work. Don’t try to make your ex jealous or do something dramatic to make them realize how much they miss you.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “This is really over. It didn’t work out and I accept that.” Do this as often as you need to.
Give or send back your ex’s possessions as soon as you can. For example, don’t keep their winter coat in the hopes that you will be back together by the time they need it again.
1-4. Forgive your ex.
It’s natural for you to feel angry once you admit to yourself that this love has failed. You may want to blame someone for things not working out. But, anger can make you more stressed and bring negativity into your life. In order to move on and be happy, you’ve got to let go of the anger and forgive whomever you need to.
Write a letter to your ex forgiving them if they did something to cause the love to fail. You don’t have to give it them.
Do something physical to get your negative energy out. Punch a boxing bag, go for a run, swim a few laps, or do some yoga.
Forgive yourself if it is your fault that the love failed. Sometimes we make mistakes. You have to forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on to be happy.
2. Meeting Your Emotional Needs
2-1. Boost your self-esteem
Don’t consider yourself a failure or beat yourself up because this relationship didn’t work out. Just because this love failed, doesn’t mean you are a failure at love. Remember that you are an amazing person and you will find love again. To help lift yourself back up again, it might be helpful to work on improving your self-esteem.
Make a list of all the good things about yourself that make you lovable and able to love someone else.
Tell yourself, “I am lovable and can be successful at love because I am…” Fill in the rest of the sentence with things from your list.
Every day try to add one new reason why you are great to your list and constantly remind yourself that you can be happy.
There's something very powerful in being able to reflect on yourself, in naming how you feel and what you need and what you have. Give yourself space to really feel
2-2. Use your support system.
You may feel like isolating yourself and just being alone, but this isn’t a good idea and won’t help you be happy. Being around people that love you is one way to remind yourself that you are lovable. Your friends and family want to help you because they care about you, so it's okay to rely on them for a little while to help you recover.
It’s okay to ask someone to just be with you – not doing anything or talking, but just being present with you for support.
Talk to them about how you are feeling about this love failing and how you feel about yourself.
For example, you might say, “I feel a lot of different emotions because of this love failing. I feel confused sometimes and optimistic at other times.”
Don’t resist their attempts to cheer you up. They just want to see you happy. Laugh and have fun with them.
Ask them to help you avoid texting, calling, or obsessing over your ex.
2-3. Treat yourself well.Not taking care of yourself can make it much harder to be happy after love failure.
You may feel cranky due to lack of sleep or feel tired because you aren’t getting enough sleep. Research indicates that break-ups can also actually weaken the heart, so treat yourself well.
Eat balanced meals, get enough sleep, and participate in regular physical activity. This will help you physically and mentally.
Take the time to do something different or special with your appearance. Try a new hairstyle or put on a flattering outfit.
Do something special for yourself like buy yourself some fishing gear, or a have a spa day.
2-4. Seek counseling.
If you are having trouble completing everyday activities, eating, or sleeping you may want to talk to a counselor. You should also see a counselor if you have started or increased using alcohol or drugs. Counseling can help you with these things so that you can be happy and is just a way of loving yourself.
Research has indicated that chemical changes occur in the body after love failure that may cause you to feel depressed.
In some cases, your therapist may prescribe an antidepressant to help your body regulate the chemical changes that are going on.
2-5. Try coping techniques.
Sometimes you may need to use specific coping methods to help you deal with the emotions your love failure has you feeling. Using these techniques can help reduce stress you are feeling right now, as well as help you be happier in the long-term.
Practicing deep breathing techniques can help you think more clearly and decrease some of the negative emotions you may feel.
Try meditation as a way to calm your mind and heart. For a few moments each day, sit or lie quietly and focus on your breathing, a mantra, or just being present in the moment.
3. Enjoying the Single Life
3-1. Try new activities.
One way to enjoy being single is to do things that you can enjoy on your own. Think of those hobbies and interests that you’ve been thinking of doing, but didn’t have the time because you were in a relationship. Make yourself happy by doing them!.
You could try an activity or hobby that will develop a current talent or learn or new skill.
For example, painting, gardening, swimming, yoga, or poetry are all enjoyable things you can do by yourself.
Take an online course on something that has always interested you or start learning a foreign language. Your progress will make you proud of yourself.
Start a blog or video channel about something you know a lot about.
By continuing to live a vibrant life, you're taking back your power and allowing yourself to heal and transform into someone who feels good to you.
3-2. Be social.You’ve got the opportunity to spend time with friends and family that make you happy.
You can also meet new people that might turn out to be great friends or even a future love. Don’t just do things by yourself, make the most of being single by getting out and being social.
Attend events your family and friends invite you to like recitals or games. You can support your loved ones and possibly meet some new people.
Volunteer for organizations or causes you support. You will feel good about helping your community and meet people that have interests similar to yours.
Organize small (or large) activities for friends and family like dinner parties or game nights. Tell your guests to bring a guest.
3-3. Consider dating.This doesn’t mean that you should immediately find someone else to love.
It just means that it’s okay to flirt with and spend time with someone that interests you. This will give you the chance to figure out what will make you happy in a future love. It will also give the opportunity for some fun, if not some epic stories to tell your friends.
If you don’t feel ready to date just yet, then try flirting a little. Smile at the cute salesclerk at the grocery store. Compliment the good-looking tech setting up your new electronic device.
Remember that dating someone doesn’t mean you are in a relationship with them. Spend time with them to get to know them before you decide if you want to be in a relationship.
Tips
Being happy will get easier over time, so be patient with yourself, and don’t stop trying.
It will be much easier to be happy if you completely avoid your ex for a while, if possible.
Warnings
If you are thinking of hurting yourself or your ex, call a crisis hotline and talk to someone about what you are feeling.
If your close friends or family tell you to consider counseling, listen to them. They might see the negative effect this failed love is having on you more than you do.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Processing Your Emotions\\n1-1. Give yourself time.\\nIt is natural to feel sad and out-of-sorts for a while when love fails. Don't expect yourself to be over your ex in a day or two. Be patient with yourself, and work through everything you are feeling about the breakup. The only way you will eventually be happy is if you give yourself time to completely move on.\\nNo matter what the details of the situation are, it's painful and your sense of feeling grounded in the world can go out the window, which is totally normal.\\nDon’t immediately rush into another relationship or try find someone new to love. Make time to get over this first.\\nAllow yourself time to process everything that you are feeling. It's okay to think about the love and why it failed.\\nPeople may tell you to just get over it. Don’t let anyone else try to rush you into getting over your failed love.\\nHowever, if it has been several months since your love failed, you may want to put more effort into moving on.\\n1-2. Move past denial.\\nAt first you may not want to believe that this love has failed. Don’t get stuck pretending that nothing has changed and that your love is the same as it was. In order to move on and be happy you have to stop denying (to yourself and to others) that this love failed.\\nDon’t contact your ex and act as if things are still the same. This will probably make your ex annoyed or angry and it will make it harder for you to move on and be happy.\\nPut away reminders of your ex. For example, if the background on your phone is a picture of the two of you, then change it.\\nDon’t lie to people if they ask you about the relationship. You don’t have to go into detail, but you should be honest with them.\\nYou might try saying, “We didn’t work out, but I’d rather not talk about it any further than that.” Then change the subject.\\n1-3. Accept that it's over.\\nEven though you may admit that your love has failed, you might think that if you change certain things about yourself or can convince your ex the love can work, you’ll get back together. This usually doesn’t work. Instead, accept that it’s over so that you can move on with the rest of your life and be happy. \\nStop trying to think of ways to make your love work. Don’t try to make your ex jealous or do something dramatic to make them realize how much they miss you.\\nLook in the mirror and tell yourself, “This is really over. It didn’t work out and I accept that.” Do this as often as you need to.\\nGive or send back your ex’s possessions as soon as you can. For example, don’t keep their winter coat in the hopes that you will be back together by the time they need it again.\\n1-4. Forgive your ex.\\nIt’s natural for you to feel angry once you admit to yourself that this love has failed. You may want to blame someone for things not working out. But, anger can make you more stressed and bring negativity into your life. In order to move on and be happy, you’ve got to let go of the anger and forgive whomever you need to. \\nWrite a letter to your ex forgiving them if they did something to cause the love to fail. You don’t have to give it them.\\nDo something physical to get your negative energy out. Punch a boxing bag, go for a run, swim a few laps, or do some yoga.\\nForgive yourself if it is your fault that the love failed. Sometimes we make mistakes. You have to forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on to be happy.\\n2. Meeting Your Emotional Needs\\n2-1. Boost your self-esteem\\nDon’t consider yourself a failure or beat yourself up because this relationship didn’t work out. Just because this love failed, doesn’t mean you are a failure at love. Remember that you are an amazing person and you will find love again. To help lift yourself back up again, it might be helpful to work on improving your self-esteem.\\nMake a list of all the good things about yourself that make you lovable and able to love someone else.\\nTell yourself, “I am lovable and can be successful at love because I am…” Fill in the rest of the sentence with things from your list.\\nEvery day try to add one new reason why you are great to your list and constantly remind yourself that you can be happy.\\nThere's something very powerful in being able to reflect on yourself, in naming how you feel and what you need and what you have. Give yourself space to really feel\\n2-2. Use your support system.\\nYou may feel like isolating yourself and just being alone, but this isn’t a good idea and won’t help you be happy. Being around people that love you is one way to remind yourself that you are lovable. Your friends and family want to help you because they care about you, so it's okay to rely on them for a little while to help you recover. \\nIt’s okay to ask someone to just be with you – not doing anything or talking, but just being present with you for support.\\nTalk to them about how you are feeling about this love failing and how you feel about yourself.\\nFor example, you might say, “I feel a lot of different emotions because of this love failing. I feel confused sometimes and optimistic at other times.”\\nDon’t resist their attempts to cheer you up. They just want to see you happy. Laugh and have fun with them.\\nAsk them to help you avoid texting, calling, or obsessing over your ex.\\n2-3. Treat yourself well.Not taking care of yourself can make it much harder to be happy after love failure.\\nYou may feel cranky due to lack of sleep or feel tired because you aren’t getting enough sleep. Research indicates that break-ups can also actually weaken the heart, so treat yourself well.\\nEat balanced meals, get enough sleep, and participate in regular physical activity. This will help you physically and mentally.\\nTake the time to do something different or special with your appearance. Try a new hairstyle or put on a flattering outfit.\\nDo something special for yourself like buy yourself some fishing gear, or a have a spa day.\\n2-4. Seek counseling.\\nIf you are having trouble completing everyday activities, eating, or sleeping you may want to talk to a counselor. You should also see a counselor if you have started or increased using alcohol or drugs. Counseling can help you with these things so that you can be happy and is just a way of loving yourself. \\nResearch has indicated that chemical changes occur in the body after love failure that may cause you to feel depressed.\\nIn some cases, your therapist may prescribe an antidepressant to help your body regulate the chemical changes that are going on.\\n2-5. Try coping techniques.\\nSometimes you may need to use specific coping methods to help you deal with the emotions your love failure has you feeling. Using these techniques can help reduce stress you are feeling right now, as well as help you be happier in the long-term. \\nPracticing deep breathing techniques can help you think more clearly and decrease some of the negative emotions you may feel.\\nTry meditation as a way to calm your mind and heart. For a few moments each day, sit or lie quietly and focus on your breathing, a mantra, or just being present in the moment.\\n3. Enjoying the Single Life\\n3-1. Try new activities.\\nOne way to enjoy being single is to do things that you can enjoy on your own. Think of those hobbies and interests that you’ve been thinking of doing, but didn’t have the time because you were in a relationship. Make yourself happy by doing them!.\\nYou could try an activity or hobby that will develop a current talent or learn or new skill.\\nFor example, painting, gardening, swimming, yoga, or poetry are all enjoyable things you can do by yourself.\\nTake an online course on something that has always interested you or start learning a foreign language. Your progress will make you proud of yourself.\\nStart a blog or video channel about something you know a lot about.\\nBy continuing to live a vibrant life, you're taking back your power and allowing yourself to heal and transform into someone who feels good to you.\\n3-2. Be social.You’ve got the opportunity to spend time with friends and family that make you happy.\\nYou can also meet new people that might turn out to be great friends or even a future love. Don’t just do things by yourself, make the most of being single by getting out and being social.\\nAttend events your family and friends invite you to like recitals or games. You can support your loved ones and possibly meet some new people.\\nVolunteer for organizations or causes you support. You will feel good about helping your community and meet people that have interests similar to yours.\\nOrganize small (or large) activities for friends and family like dinner parties or game nights. Tell your guests to bring a guest.\\n3-3. Consider dating.This doesn’t mean that you should immediately find someone else to love.\\nIt just means that it’s okay to flirt with and spend time with someone that interests you. This will give you the chance to figure out what will make you happy in a future love. It will also give the opportunity for some fun, if not some epic stories to tell your friends. \\nIf you don’t feel ready to date just yet, then try flirting a little. Smile at the cute salesclerk at the grocery store. Compliment the good-looking tech setting up your new electronic device.\\nRemember that dating someone doesn’t mean you are in a relationship with them. Spend time with them to get to know them before you decide if you want to be in a relationship.\\nTips\\nBeing happy will get easier over time, so be patient with yourself, and don’t stop trying.\\nIt will be much easier to be happy if you completely avoid your ex for a while, if possible.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are thinking of hurting yourself or your ex, call a crisis hotline and talk to someone about what you are feeling.\\nIf your close friends or family tell you to consider counseling, listen to them. They might see the negative effect this failed love is having on you more than you do.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes love works and the two people “live happily ever-after”. Sometimes love fails and at least one person may end up hurt. If that person is you, you might feel like you will never succeed at love or ever be happy again. But, just because this love failed doesn't mean you can't be happy. If you work through your emotions and meet your own needs, you can enjoy the single life and be happy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Processing Your Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time.\", \"描述\": \"It is natural to feel sad and out-of-sorts for a while when love fails. Don't expect yourself to be over your ex in a day or two. Be patient with yourself, and work through everything you are feeling about the breakup. The only way you will eventually be happy is if you give yourself time to completely move on.\\nNo matter what the details of the situation are, it's painful and your sense of feeling grounded in the world can go out the window, which is totally normal.\\nDon’t immediately rush into another relationship or try find someone new to love. Make time to get over this first.\\nAllow yourself time to process everything that you are feeling. It's okay to think about the love and why it failed.\\nPeople may tell you to just get over it. Don’t let anyone else try to rush you into getting over your failed love.\\nHowever, if it has been several months since your love failed, you may want to put more effort into moving on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Move past denial.\", \"描述\": \"At first you may not want to believe that this love has failed. Don’t get stuck pretending that nothing has changed and that your love is the same as it was. In order to move on and be happy you have to stop denying (to yourself and to others) that this love failed.\\nDon’t contact your ex and act as if things are still the same. This will probably make your ex annoyed or angry and it will make it harder for you to move on and be happy.\\nPut away reminders of your ex. For example, if the background on your phone is a picture of the two of you, then change it.\\nDon’t lie to people if they ask you about the relationship. You don’t have to go into detail, but you should be honest with them.\\nYou might try saying, “We didn’t work out, but I’d rather not talk about it any further than that.” Then change the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept that it's over.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you may admit that your love has failed, you might think that if you change certain things about yourself or can convince your ex the love can work, you’ll get back together. This usually doesn’t work. Instead, accept that it’s over so that you can move on with the rest of your life and be happy. \\nStop trying to think of ways to make your love work. Don’t try to make your ex jealous or do something dramatic to make them realize how much they miss you.\\nLook in the mirror and tell yourself, “This is really over. It didn’t work out and I accept that.” Do this as often as you need to.\\nGive or send back your ex’s possessions as soon as you can. For example, don’t keep their winter coat in the hopes that you will be back together by the time they need it again.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Forgive your ex.\", \"描述\": \"It’s natural for you to feel angry once you admit to yourself that this love has failed. You may want to blame someone for things not working out. But, anger can make you more stressed and bring negativity into your life. In order to move on and be happy, you’ve got to let go of the anger and forgive whomever you need to. \\nWrite a letter to your ex forgiving them if they did something to cause the love to fail. You don’t have to give it them.\\nDo something physical to get your negative energy out. Punch a boxing bag, go for a run, swim a few laps, or do some yoga.\\nForgive yourself if it is your fault that the love failed. Sometimes we make mistakes. You have to forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on to be happy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meeting Your Emotional Needs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Boost your self-esteem\", \"描述\": \"Don’t consider yourself a failure or beat yourself up because this relationship didn’t work out. Just because this love failed, doesn’t mean you are a failure at love. Remember that you are an amazing person and you will find love again. To help lift yourself back up again, it might be helpful to work on improving your self-esteem.\\nMake a list of all the good things about yourself that make you lovable and able to love someone else.\\nTell yourself, “I am lovable and can be successful at love because I am…” Fill in the rest of the sentence with things from your list.\\nEvery day try to add one new reason why you are great to your list and constantly remind yourself that you can be happy.\\nThere's something very powerful in being able to reflect on yourself, in naming how you feel and what you need and what you have. Give yourself space to really feel\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use your support system.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel like isolating yourself and just being alone, but this isn’t a good idea and won’t help you be happy. Being around people that love you is one way to remind yourself that you are lovable. Your friends and family want to help you because they care about you, so it's okay to rely on them for a little while to help you recover. \\nIt’s okay to ask someone to just be with you – not doing anything or talking, but just being present with you for support.\\nTalk to them about how you are feeling about this love failing and how you feel about yourself.\\nFor example, you might say, “I feel a lot of different emotions because of this love failing. I feel confused sometimes and optimistic at other times.”\\nDon’t resist their attempts to cheer you up. They just want to see you happy. Laugh and have fun with them.\\nAsk them to help you avoid texting, calling, or obsessing over your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself well.Not taking care of yourself can make it much harder to be happy after love failure.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel cranky due to lack of sleep or feel tired because you aren’t getting enough sleep. Research indicates that break-ups can also actually weaken the heart, so treat yourself well.\\nEat balanced meals, get enough sleep, and participate in regular physical activity. This will help you physically and mentally.\\nTake the time to do something different or special with your appearance. Try a new hairstyle or put on a flattering outfit.\\nDo something special for yourself like buy yourself some fishing gear, or a have a spa day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Seek counseling.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having trouble completing everyday activities, eating, or sleeping you may want to talk to a counselor. You should also see a counselor if you have started or increased using alcohol or drugs. Counseling can help you with these things so that you can be happy and is just a way of loving yourself. \\nResearch has indicated that chemical changes occur in the body after love failure that may cause you to feel depressed.\\nIn some cases, your therapist may prescribe an antidepressant to help your body regulate the chemical changes that are going on.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try coping techniques.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes you may need to use specific coping methods to help you deal with the emotions your love failure has you feeling. Using these techniques can help reduce stress you are feeling right now, as well as help you be happier in the long-term. \\nPracticing deep breathing techniques can help you think more clearly and decrease some of the negative emotions you may feel.\\nTry meditation as a way to calm your mind and heart. For a few moments each day, sit or lie quietly and focus on your breathing, a mantra, or just being present in the moment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoying the Single Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try new activities.\", \"描述\": \"One way to enjoy being single is to do things that you can enjoy on your own. Think of those hobbies and interests that you’ve been thinking of doing, but didn’t have the time because you were in a relationship. Make yourself happy by doing them!.\\nYou could try an activity or hobby that will develop a current talent or learn or new skill.\\nFor example, painting, gardening, swimming, yoga, or poetry are all enjoyable things you can do by yourself.\\nTake an online course on something that has always interested you or start learning a foreign language. Your progress will make you proud of yourself.\\nStart a blog or video channel about something you know a lot about.\\nBy continuing to live a vibrant life, you're taking back your power and allowing yourself to heal and transform into someone who feels good to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be social.You’ve got the opportunity to spend time with friends and family that make you happy.\", \"描述\": \"You can also meet new people that might turn out to be great friends or even a future love. Don’t just do things by yourself, make the most of being single by getting out and being social.\\nAttend events your family and friends invite you to like recitals or games. You can support your loved ones and possibly meet some new people.\\nVolunteer for organizations or causes you support. You will feel good about helping your community and meet people that have interests similar to yours.\\nOrganize small (or large) activities for friends and family like dinner parties or game nights. Tell your guests to bring a guest.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider dating.This doesn’t mean that you should immediately find someone else to love.\", \"描述\": \"It just means that it’s okay to flirt with and spend time with someone that interests you. This will give you the chance to figure out what will make you happy in a future love. It will also give the opportunity for some fun, if not some epic stories to tell your friends. \\nIf you don’t feel ready to date just yet, then try flirting a little. Smile at the cute salesclerk at the grocery store. Compliment the good-looking tech setting up your new electronic device.\\nRemember that dating someone doesn’t mean you are in a relationship with them. Spend time with them to get to know them before you decide if you want to be in a relationship.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being happy will get easier over time, so be patient with yourself, and don’t stop trying.\\n\", \"It will be much easier to be happy if you completely avoid your ex for a while, if possible.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are thinking of hurting yourself or your ex, call a crisis hotline and talk to someone about what you are feeling.\\n\", \"If your close friends or family tell you to consider counseling, listen to them. They might see the negative effect this failed love is having on you more than you do.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,796 | How to Be Happy After a Breakup | 1. Coping with Negative Feelings
1-1. Give yourself time to grieve.
Don’t try to force yourself to move on or “get over it” before you are ready. No matter what the circumstances of the breakup were, you’ve experienced a loss, and it’s natural to have a lot of feelings to work through.
You will probably experience ups and downs during the grieving and healing process. You may feel much better one day, and then depressed or angry again the next. This emotional roller coaster can be frustrating or even frightening, but it is totally normal.
1-2. Acknowledge how you feel without judgment.
Whenever you feel really overwhelmed or down, find a quiet place to sit and just allow yourself to feel. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and mindfully make note of the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations you are experiencing. Don’t criticize or analyze what you’re thinking and feeling—just recognize it.
For example, you might think to yourself, “I’m thinking about Madeline again. There’s a knot in my upper back. I feel so sad.”
Release your feelings in a healthy way, such as by crying or talking to a friend. You might also find it helpful to write down what you are feeling or express it through art or music. You can even write a letter to your ex pouring out all your feelings (but destroy it when you’re done so that you won’t be tempted to send it).
Being mindful of your feelings and being able to identify them can help them feel less overwhelming.
1-3. Tell yourself that what you are feeling is temporary.
It may be hard to imagine right now, but you will not feel this way forever. Think of your sadness about the breakup as an injury that is healing. It will hurt for a while and the pain may be worse some days than others, but the hurt will eventually fade.
The amount of time it takes to move beyond a breakup varies from one person (and breakup) to another. Just take it one day at a time.
1-4. Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones.
When you hear that negative or self-critical voice inside your head, stop and ask yourself, “Is that thought realistic? Is it helpful? Is it something I would say to a good friend?” If the answer to any of those questions is “no,” replace the thought with something more realistic and constructive. This way, you can help your unhappy brain make the transition to positive thinking.
For example, if you find yourself thinking, “Nobody will ever love me like Bert did. I’ll be alone forever,” replace that thought with something like, “What I had with Bert was great in a lot of ways, but we broke up for a reason. I’m going to try and make the most of being single for now and see what happens next.”
1-5. Avoid blaming yourself for what happened.
Self-blame is common after a breakup, but you probably both had a part to play in what happened. It’s okay (and, in fact, healthy) to acknowledge the mistakes you made in the relationship, but try to think of those mistakes as an opportunity to grow and do better in the future.
You might also blame your partner for what happened, especially if they broke up with you. Remind yourself that it’s probably for the best that they let you go, since you’re now free to find someone who’s a better match for you (if that’s what you want).
1-6. Reach out to family and friends for support.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed and lonely, pick up your phone and call or text a close friend or relative. Talking to someone can distract you, help you work through your feelings, or just remind you that you’re not alone.
Chances are you know someone who has been through a breakup. They can lend you a sympathetic ear and offer advice for dealing with your feelings.
If you don’t have anyone to talk to, consider calling a crisis line or joining an online discussion group for people going through breakups.
If you do join an online group, look for one that is moderated, like the forums at PsychCentral. Moderated forums have administrators who monitor the discussion to ensure that there is no bullying or other forms of abuse in the community.
1-7. Use positive self talk to combat negative beliefs about yourself.
A breakup is personal, so it's normal for you to wonder what you did wrong. However, the breakup shouldn't change the way you feel about yourself. Everyone goes through breakups, and many relationships aren't meant to last. Don't let thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "No one wants to go out with me," or "I'm not attractive enough" take root in your mind.
Don't let these types of thoughts follow you into your next relationship. They aren't true, so don't allow them to negatively impact your future.
If you notice any of these negative thoughts, challenge them and replace them with positive self talk. First, look for 3 pieces of evidence against the negative statement. Then, replace it with a positive statement about yourself. You can find worksheets online to help you do this!
For example, let's say you're thinking "I'm unlovable." Your 3 pieces of evidence that this isn't true might be that your parents, best friend, and pet all love you. You might tell yourself, "I'm deeply loved by the people in my life, plus I love myself."
2. Moving Forward with Your Life
2-1. Make peace with the reasons why your relationship didn't work out.
At first, it can be hard to see the cracks in your relationship, but there's likely a reason it didn't work out. Recognizing this reason can help you move on. Think about why your relationship ended, such as due to incompatibility, different goals, bad timing, or unmet expectations. Write down why you think the relationship ended to help you find closure.
When you start to feel emotional again, use this exercise to help you rationalize why the relationship was meant to end. Tell yourself, "I'm feeling sad about the breakup again, but we had different goals for the future. I want a partner who wants the same things I do."
2-2. Focus on caring for yourself.
Help yourself heal after your breakup by practicing self-care. It’s hard to be happy if you’re not taking care of your basic physical, emotional, and practical needs. Self-care can mean a lot of things, but a few of the basics include:
Getting plenty of good-quality sleep.
Eating healthy, nutritious foods.
Getting exercise.
Spending quality time with friends and family.
Doing activities you enjoy.
Taking care of practical matters, like paying bills and doing work or school projects.
2-3. Work on achieving some personal goals.
Think about things you’ve always wanted to accomplish, or set some new goals for yourself and create a realistic plan to work on them. It’s easy to put your personal goals and ambitions aside while you’re caught up in a relationship, so now is the perfect time to start working on them.
Working on your goals can help boost your confidence, give you something to focus on aside from the breakup, and remind you of who you are as an individual.
Your goals don’t need to be anything big or grandiose. You could start with simple things like reorganizing your desk or taking a 15-minute walk every day.
Keep a list of your daily accomplishments, and remember to reward yourself when you meet a goal!
2-4. Do things you find fun and fulfilling.
Now is the perfect time to pick up a new hobby or rekindle your interest in an old one! If you want to try something new, consider signing up for a class or joining a local group that shares your interests.
If you’re the creative type, you could try painting, doing crafts, or learning a musical instrument. If you’re more athletic or outdoorsy, try taking up a new sport or going on hikes.
Doing group activities is also a great way to make new friends and grow your support network.
If there are any activities that you particularly associate with your ex, you might want to take a break from them for a while.
2-5. Resist the urge to check in on what your ex is doing.
If you find yourself agonizing about how your ex is feeling and what they are up to, look for ways to distract yourself or channel those feelings elsewhere. For example, if you are fighting the temptation to look at your ex’s Facebook page, you might call a friend or write about it in a journal.
If you and your ex are connected on social media, it may be a good idea to unfriend or even block them. That will help reduce the temptation to torture yourself by checking their profile.
2-6. Look at the relationship as a learning experience.
Once you’ve had some time and distance from the relationship, take time to think about it from a wiser and more objective point of view. Think about how to use your experiences, both good and bad, to help you in future relationships or even in your life as a single person.
For example, maybe you’ve picked up on some red flags to avoid in future potential partners. You might also think of ways you can improve your own behavior in relationships going forward.
It might help to make a list of what things were good and bad about the relationship. Think about specific changes you might make based on your insights. For example, “Lucy was funny and exciting to hang out with, but she didn’t really share many of my interests. In future relationships, I’ll prioritize finding someone who has more in common with me.”
After some reflection, you might even decide that you prefer being single for now, and that’s perfectly valid! Don’t let anyone pressure you into looking for a new relationship if you don’t want one.
2-7. See a counselor if you feel you need extra help.
Ask your doctor to recommend a therapist, or do an online search for a counselor who has experience dealing with relationship issues. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and recommend good strategies for dealing with them.
You may need to see a counselor if your grief is interfering with your ability to function in your daily life, work, or relationships, or if you feel like you aren’t making enough progress on your own.
Tips
Don’t rush into any new relationships as you need some time to sort out your life. A breakup can leave you feeling confused and emotionally vulnerable. You may also still be dealing with feelings for your ex, which could have a negative impact on other relationships.[12]
X
Research source
Even if you’re the one who initiated the breakup, it’s still natural to feel a sense of grief and loss.
It is possible to stay friends with someone after breaking up with them. Don’t try to force it, however. You and your ex will probably both need a lot of time and space after the breakup, and it’s possible that you’ll never be able to fully connect as friends.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Coping with Negative Feelings\\n1-1. Give yourself time to grieve.\\nDon’t try to force yourself to move on or “get over it” before you are ready. No matter what the circumstances of the breakup were, you’ve experienced a loss, and it’s natural to have a lot of feelings to work through.\\nYou will probably experience ups and downs during the grieving and healing process. You may feel much better one day, and then depressed or angry again the next. This emotional roller coaster can be frustrating or even frightening, but it is totally normal.\\n1-2. Acknowledge how you feel without judgment.\\nWhenever you feel really overwhelmed or down, find a quiet place to sit and just allow yourself to feel. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and mindfully make note of the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations you are experiencing. Don’t criticize or analyze what you’re thinking and feeling—just recognize it.\\nFor example, you might think to yourself, “I’m thinking about Madeline again. There’s a knot in my upper back. I feel so sad.”\\nRelease your feelings in a healthy way, such as by crying or talking to a friend. You might also find it helpful to write down what you are feeling or express it through art or music. You can even write a letter to your ex pouring out all your feelings (but destroy it when you’re done so that you won’t be tempted to send it).\\nBeing mindful of your feelings and being able to identify them can help them feel less overwhelming.\\n1-3. Tell yourself that what you are feeling is temporary.\\nIt may be hard to imagine right now, but you will not feel this way forever. Think of your sadness about the breakup as an injury that is healing. It will hurt for a while and the pain may be worse some days than others, but the hurt will eventually fade.\\nThe amount of time it takes to move beyond a breakup varies from one person (and breakup) to another. Just take it one day at a time.\\n1-4. Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones.\\nWhen you hear that negative or self-critical voice inside your head, stop and ask yourself, “Is that thought realistic? Is it helpful? Is it something I would say to a good friend?” If the answer to any of those questions is “no,” replace the thought with something more realistic and constructive. This way, you can help your unhappy brain make the transition to positive thinking.\\nFor example, if you find yourself thinking, “Nobody will ever love me like Bert did. I’ll be alone forever,” replace that thought with something like, “What I had with Bert was great in a lot of ways, but we broke up for a reason. I’m going to try and make the most of being single for now and see what happens next.”\\n1-5. Avoid blaming yourself for what happened.\\nSelf-blame is common after a breakup, but you probably both had a part to play in what happened. It’s okay (and, in fact, healthy) to acknowledge the mistakes you made in the relationship, but try to think of those mistakes as an opportunity to grow and do better in the future.\\nYou might also blame your partner for what happened, especially if they broke up with you. Remind yourself that it’s probably for the best that they let you go, since you’re now free to find someone who’s a better match for you (if that’s what you want).\\n1-6. Reach out to family and friends for support.\\nWhenever you feel overwhelmed and lonely, pick up your phone and call or text a close friend or relative. Talking to someone can distract you, help you work through your feelings, or just remind you that you’re not alone.\\nChances are you know someone who has been through a breakup. They can lend you a sympathetic ear and offer advice for dealing with your feelings.\\nIf you don’t have anyone to talk to, consider calling a crisis line or joining an online discussion group for people going through breakups.\\nIf you do join an online group, look for one that is moderated, like the forums at PsychCentral. Moderated forums have administrators who monitor the discussion to ensure that there is no bullying or other forms of abuse in the community.\\n1-7. Use positive self talk to combat negative beliefs about yourself.\\nA breakup is personal, so it's normal for you to wonder what you did wrong. However, the breakup shouldn't change the way you feel about yourself. Everyone goes through breakups, and many relationships aren't meant to last. Don't let thoughts like \\\"I'm not good enough,\\\" \\\"No one wants to go out with me,\\\" or \\\"I'm not attractive enough\\\" take root in your mind.\\nDon't let these types of thoughts follow you into your next relationship. They aren't true, so don't allow them to negatively impact your future.\\nIf you notice any of these negative thoughts, challenge them and replace them with positive self talk. First, look for 3 pieces of evidence against the negative statement. Then, replace it with a positive statement about yourself. You can find worksheets online to help you do this!\\nFor example, let's say you're thinking \\\"I'm unlovable.\\\" Your 3 pieces of evidence that this isn't true might be that your parents, best friend, and pet all love you. You might tell yourself, \\\"I'm deeply loved by the people in my life, plus I love myself.\\\"\\n2. Moving Forward with Your Life\\n2-1. Make peace with the reasons why your relationship didn't work out.\\nAt first, it can be hard to see the cracks in your relationship, but there's likely a reason it didn't work out. Recognizing this reason can help you move on. Think about why your relationship ended, such as due to incompatibility, different goals, bad timing, or unmet expectations. Write down why you think the relationship ended to help you find closure.\\nWhen you start to feel emotional again, use this exercise to help you rationalize why the relationship was meant to end. Tell yourself, \\\"I'm feeling sad about the breakup again, but we had different goals for the future. I want a partner who wants the same things I do.\\\"\\n2-2. Focus on caring for yourself.\\nHelp yourself heal after your breakup by practicing self-care. It’s hard to be happy if you’re not taking care of your basic physical, emotional, and practical needs. Self-care can mean a lot of things, but a few of the basics include:\\nGetting plenty of good-quality sleep.\\nEating healthy, nutritious foods.\\nGetting exercise.\\nSpending quality time with friends and family.\\nDoing activities you enjoy.\\nTaking care of practical matters, like paying bills and doing work or school projects.\\n2-3. Work on achieving some personal goals.\\nThink about things you’ve always wanted to accomplish, or set some new goals for yourself and create a realistic plan to work on them. It’s easy to put your personal goals and ambitions aside while you’re caught up in a relationship, so now is the perfect time to start working on them.\\nWorking on your goals can help boost your confidence, give you something to focus on aside from the breakup, and remind you of who you are as an individual.\\nYour goals don’t need to be anything big or grandiose. You could start with simple things like reorganizing your desk or taking a 15-minute walk every day.\\nKeep a list of your daily accomplishments, and remember to reward yourself when you meet a goal!\\n2-4. Do things you find fun and fulfilling.\\nNow is the perfect time to pick up a new hobby or rekindle your interest in an old one! If you want to try something new, consider signing up for a class or joining a local group that shares your interests.\\nIf you’re the creative type, you could try painting, doing crafts, or learning a musical instrument. If you’re more athletic or outdoorsy, try taking up a new sport or going on hikes.\\nDoing group activities is also a great way to make new friends and grow your support network.\\nIf there are any activities that you particularly associate with your ex, you might want to take a break from them for a while.\\n2-5. Resist the urge to check in on what your ex is doing.\\nIf you find yourself agonizing about how your ex is feeling and what they are up to, look for ways to distract yourself or channel those feelings elsewhere. For example, if you are fighting the temptation to look at your ex’s Facebook page, you might call a friend or write about it in a journal.\\nIf you and your ex are connected on social media, it may be a good idea to unfriend or even block them. That will help reduce the temptation to torture yourself by checking their profile.\\n2-6. Look at the relationship as a learning experience.\\nOnce you’ve had some time and distance from the relationship, take time to think about it from a wiser and more objective point of view. Think about how to use your experiences, both good and bad, to help you in future relationships or even in your life as a single person.\\nFor example, maybe you’ve picked up on some red flags to avoid in future potential partners. You might also think of ways you can improve your own behavior in relationships going forward.\\nIt might help to make a list of what things were good and bad about the relationship. Think about specific changes you might make based on your insights. For example, “Lucy was funny and exciting to hang out with, but she didn’t really share many of my interests. In future relationships, I’ll prioritize finding someone who has more in common with me.”\\nAfter some reflection, you might even decide that you prefer being single for now, and that’s perfectly valid! Don’t let anyone pressure you into looking for a new relationship if you don’t want one.\\n2-7. See a counselor if you feel you need extra help.\\nAsk your doctor to recommend a therapist, or do an online search for a counselor who has experience dealing with relationship issues. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and recommend good strategies for dealing with them.\\nYou may need to see a counselor if your grief is interfering with your ability to function in your daily life, work, or relationships, or if you feel like you aren’t making enough progress on your own.\\nTips\\nDon’t rush into any new relationships as you need some time to sort out your life. A breakup can leave you feeling confused and emotionally vulnerable. You may also still be dealing with feelings for your ex, which could have a negative impact on other relationships.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nEven if you’re the one who initiated the breakup, it’s still natural to feel a sense of grief and loss.\\nIt is possible to stay friends with someone after breaking up with them. Don’t try to force it, however. You and your ex will probably both need a lot of time and space after the breakup, and it’s possible that you’ll never be able to fully connect as friends.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Breakups are incredibly difficult. If you’ve just broken up with someone you care about, you may feel sad, angry, lost, or scared. The good news is that these feelings won’t last forever. After the breakup, give yourself some time and space to process your grief. When you’re ready, use the wisdom and experience you gained from the relationship to move forward with your life. Take time to reconnect with things that brought you joy before the breakup, and look for new forms of fulfillment as well.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coping with Negative Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to grieve.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to force yourself to move on or “get over it” before you are ready. No matter what the circumstances of the breakup were, you’ve experienced a loss, and it’s natural to have a lot of feelings to work through.\\nYou will probably experience ups and downs during the grieving and healing process. You may feel much better one day, and then depressed or angry again the next. This emotional roller coaster can be frustrating or even frightening, but it is totally normal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge how you feel without judgment.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you feel really overwhelmed or down, find a quiet place to sit and just allow yourself to feel. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and mindfully make note of the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations you are experiencing. Don’t criticize or analyze what you’re thinking and feeling—just recognize it.\\nFor example, you might think to yourself, “I’m thinking about Madeline again. There’s a knot in my upper back. I feel so sad.”\\nRelease your feelings in a healthy way, such as by crying or talking to a friend. You might also find it helpful to write down what you are feeling or express it through art or music. You can even write a letter to your ex pouring out all your feelings (but destroy it when you’re done so that you won’t be tempted to send it).\\nBeing mindful of your feelings and being able to identify them can help them feel less overwhelming.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell yourself that what you are feeling is temporary.\", \"描述\": \"It may be hard to imagine right now, but you will not feel this way forever. Think of your sadness about the breakup as an injury that is healing. It will hurt for a while and the pain may be worse some days than others, but the hurt will eventually fade.\\nThe amount of time it takes to move beyond a breakup varies from one person (and breakup) to another. Just take it one day at a time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones.\", \"描述\": \"When you hear that negative or self-critical voice inside your head, stop and ask yourself, “Is that thought realistic? Is it helpful? Is it something I would say to a good friend?” If the answer to any of those questions is “no,” replace the thought with something more realistic and constructive. This way, you can help your unhappy brain make the transition to positive thinking.\\nFor example, if you find yourself thinking, “Nobody will ever love me like Bert did. I’ll be alone forever,” replace that thought with something like, “What I had with Bert was great in a lot of ways, but we broke up for a reason. I’m going to try and make the most of being single for now and see what happens next.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid blaming yourself for what happened.\", \"描述\": \"Self-blame is common after a breakup, but you probably both had a part to play in what happened. It’s okay (and, in fact, healthy) to acknowledge the mistakes you made in the relationship, but try to think of those mistakes as an opportunity to grow and do better in the future.\\nYou might also blame your partner for what happened, especially if they broke up with you. Remind yourself that it’s probably for the best that they let you go, since you’re now free to find someone who’s a better match for you (if that’s what you want).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reach out to family and friends for support.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you feel overwhelmed and lonely, pick up your phone and call or text a close friend or relative. Talking to someone can distract you, help you work through your feelings, or just remind you that you’re not alone.\\nChances are you know someone who has been through a breakup. They can lend you a sympathetic ear and offer advice for dealing with your feelings.\\nIf you don’t have anyone to talk to, consider calling a crisis line or joining an online discussion group for people going through breakups.\\nIf you do join an online group, look for one that is moderated, like the forums at PsychCentral. Moderated forums have administrators who monitor the discussion to ensure that there is no bullying or other forms of abuse in the community.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use positive self talk to combat negative beliefs about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"A breakup is personal, so it's normal for you to wonder what you did wrong. However, the breakup shouldn't change the way you feel about yourself. Everyone goes through breakups, and many relationships aren't meant to last. Don't let thoughts like \\\"I'm not good enough,\\\" \\\"No one wants to go out with me,\\\" or \\\"I'm not attractive enough\\\" take root in your mind.\\nDon't let these types of thoughts follow you into your next relationship. They aren't true, so don't allow them to negatively impact your future.\\nIf you notice any of these negative thoughts, challenge them and replace them with positive self talk. First, look for 3 pieces of evidence against the negative statement. Then, replace it with a positive statement about yourself. You can find worksheets online to help you do this!\\nFor example, let's say you're thinking \\\"I'm unlovable.\\\" Your 3 pieces of evidence that this isn't true might be that your parents, best friend, and pet all love you. You might tell yourself, \\\"I'm deeply loved by the people in my life, plus I love myself.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Moving Forward with Your Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make peace with the reasons why your relationship didn't work out.\", \"描述\": \"At first, it can be hard to see the cracks in your relationship, but there's likely a reason it didn't work out. Recognizing this reason can help you move on. Think about why your relationship ended, such as due to incompatibility, different goals, bad timing, or unmet expectations. Write down why you think the relationship ended to help you find closure.\\nWhen you start to feel emotional again, use this exercise to help you rationalize why the relationship was meant to end. Tell yourself, \\\"I'm feeling sad about the breakup again, but we had different goals for the future. I want a partner who wants the same things I do.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on caring for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Help yourself heal after your breakup by practicing self-care. It’s hard to be happy if you’re not taking care of your basic physical, emotional, and practical needs. Self-care can mean a lot of things, but a few of the basics include:\\nGetting plenty of good-quality sleep.\\nEating healthy, nutritious foods.\\nGetting exercise.\\nSpending quality time with friends and family.\\nDoing activities you enjoy.\\nTaking care of practical matters, like paying bills and doing work or school projects.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on achieving some personal goals.\", \"描述\": \"Think about things you’ve always wanted to accomplish, or set some new goals for yourself and create a realistic plan to work on them. It’s easy to put your personal goals and ambitions aside while you’re caught up in a relationship, so now is the perfect time to start working on them.\\nWorking on your goals can help boost your confidence, give you something to focus on aside from the breakup, and remind you of who you are as an individual.\\nYour goals don’t need to be anything big or grandiose. You could start with simple things like reorganizing your desk or taking a 15-minute walk every day.\\nKeep a list of your daily accomplishments, and remember to reward yourself when you meet a goal!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do things you find fun and fulfilling.\", \"描述\": \"Now is the perfect time to pick up a new hobby or rekindle your interest in an old one! If you want to try something new, consider signing up for a class or joining a local group that shares your interests.\\nIf you’re the creative type, you could try painting, doing crafts, or learning a musical instrument. If you’re more athletic or outdoorsy, try taking up a new sport or going on hikes.\\nDoing group activities is also a great way to make new friends and grow your support network.\\nIf there are any activities that you particularly associate with your ex, you might want to take a break from them for a while.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to check in on what your ex is doing.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself agonizing about how your ex is feeling and what they are up to, look for ways to distract yourself or channel those feelings elsewhere. For example, if you are fighting the temptation to look at your ex’s Facebook page, you might call a friend or write about it in a journal.\\nIf you and your ex are connected on social media, it may be a good idea to unfriend or even block them. That will help reduce the temptation to torture yourself by checking their profile.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look at the relationship as a learning experience.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve had some time and distance from the relationship, take time to think about it from a wiser and more objective point of view. Think about how to use your experiences, both good and bad, to help you in future relationships or even in your life as a single person.\\nFor example, maybe you’ve picked up on some red flags to avoid in future potential partners. You might also think of ways you can improve your own behavior in relationships going forward.\\nIt might help to make a list of what things were good and bad about the relationship. Think about specific changes you might make based on your insights. For example, “Lucy was funny and exciting to hang out with, but she didn’t really share many of my interests. In future relationships, I’ll prioritize finding someone who has more in common with me.”\\nAfter some reflection, you might even decide that you prefer being single for now, and that’s perfectly valid! Don’t let anyone pressure you into looking for a new relationship if you don’t want one.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"See a counselor if you feel you need extra help.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your doctor to recommend a therapist, or do an online search for a counselor who has experience dealing with relationship issues. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and recommend good strategies for dealing with them.\\nYou may need to see a counselor if your grief is interfering with your ability to function in your daily life, work, or relationships, or if you feel like you aren’t making enough progress on your own.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t rush into any new relationships as you need some time to sort out your life. A breakup can leave you feeling confused and emotionally vulnerable. You may also still be dealing with feelings for your ex, which could have a negative impact on other relationships.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Even if you’re the one who initiated the breakup, it’s still natural to feel a sense of grief and loss.\\n\", \"It is possible to stay friends with someone after breaking up with them. Don’t try to force it, however. You and your ex will probably both need a lot of time and space after the breakup, and it’s possible that you’ll never be able to fully connect as friends.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,797 | How to Be Happy After a Divorce | 1. Reconnecting with Yourself
1-1. Learn your likes and dislikes as a single person.
If you’ve been a part of a couple for many years, you may have lost touch with your core identity. Use this time to get back to yourself. Remember the person you were before your marriage and consider the person you would like to become.
Sit down and make a list of your likes and dislikes. Focus solely on your own preferences—try to avoid thinking about your spouse’s opinion.
For example, you may be working in a job that you don’t really like because it was best for your family at the time. Or you might still make your spouse’s favorite meal even though it’s not your favorite.
1-2. Discover your passions.
If you have hobbies, use your newfound freedom to dedicate more time to them. If you don’t have any hobbies, think about starting a few. What are some activities you always put off doing because you didn’t have time or because your spouse wasn’t a fan? Now, you can engage in all of these activities.
For instance, you might start cycling again on weekends. Or, if you’re a bookworm, you can join a local book club.
Take this opportunity to pick up some new hobbies. Try something you've always wanted to learn, or start a club for an old passion.
1-3. Embrace new habits and roles.
Divorce pushes you to develop aspects of yourself that you never had to before. For instance, if your spouse did all the shopping and cooking, you may need to learn how to take on this role. If they were the primary breadwinner, you might have to get a job or find one with better pay.
Instead of viewing these new roles as just added stress, see them as an opportunity to push past your comfort zone. In fact, you can learn to enjoy new roles by making a list of all the tasks you do now that you didn't feel capable of before.
If you were a stay-at-home parent while your spouse worked, you will likely need to get back out onto the job market. Take this time to learn new skills that might help you get a new job.
Don't be afraid to try new things. Work towards self-improvement, and you'll be happier in the long run.
1-4. Travel alone.
Visiting new places is a great way to rediscover yourself and get outside your comfort zone. Plus, traveling helps you become more aware of what you like and don’t like, because no one else will be influencing your decisions. See the museums you want to see and select the restaurants that seem interesting to you.
Traveling is also a great way to create new memories without your spouse.
Visit a nearby city that you’ve never explored or plan a big trip across country or across continents.
2. Finding Support
2-1. Lean on good friends and family.
Your support system is vital in the aftermath of your divorce. Just be sure you’re spending time with positive influences who make you feel good about yourself and your future.
Start a new tradition with your social group, such as Sunday brunch or Friday game nights. This will give you something to look forward to.
Remove people from your life that influence you to make negative choices, such as dwelling in the past or using alcohol or drugs to cope.
2-2. Join a support group.
Reach out to people in your local community who are going through a divorce, too. Talking to people who “get” you can help you feel less alone. Plus, some of the support group members may have helpful solutions to many of the problems you face.
Conduct a quick online search to locate divorce support groups in your area. You can also contact community centers and churches who may sponsor these groups.
2-3. See a therapist.
It’s nice to have an unbiased person to talk to about what you’re going through. A therapist can serve as a listening ear and a source of comfort as you navigate life after divorce. Ask your primary care provider for a referral or get recommendations for good therapists from your social group.
3. Rebuilding Your Life
3-1. Set new goals.
Goals can propel you forward and offer a powerful source of motivation. Take some time to think about where you want your life to be in a six months or a year. Then, write out clear and realistic goals that will help you accomplish that vision. Break each goal down into small steps so you can take action towards them daily.
For instance, maybe you want to raise your credit score so you can buy a new car. You might need to pay down some of your existing debt, which may require making more money or reducing some of your household expenses.
Setting powerful goals also keeps you busy, so you don’t spend so much time dwelling on the past.
3-2. Plan your financial future.
Divorce can be expensive. You may need to pay alimony, child support, or legal fees. Take some time to budget your new life in a single income household. Make sure you can afford the necessities while also saving money for retirement and an emergency fund.
If your spouse did all of the financial planning, you may need to relearn how to do it. Take a financial literacy course at a community college or talk to a financial planner.
If there are children involved, you will have to plan for their care as well.
Look as far forward into the future as you can. You may even develop a ten-year plan.
3-3. Meet new people.
You don’t have to ditch your old pals after your divorce, but you may find that some of your friendships fall apart or change. That’s completely normal. To counteract changes in your social circle, make an attempt to meet new people that share your interests or goals. Join new clubs or organizations to connect with people like you.
Meeting new people also refers to potential dates. Don’t be afraid to connect with someone new when you’re ready. Focus on just having a good time at first. Then, see where it goes.
3-4. Practice self-care.
You’re now performing all the roles your spouse once handled, which means you may feel like you have even less time in a day. Regardless if it’s just ten minutes a day, try to steal some time away to do something for yourself. Try reading a book, listening to calming music, stretching, or going for a walk outside.
3-5. Support your health and wellness.
Going through a divorce is stressful on the body and mind. Support your well-being by making positive choices. Try to eat balanced and nutritious meals regularly. Get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Exercise for about 30 minutes on most days of the week.
Resist the urge to cope with your feelings by bingeing on junk foods, using alcohol or drugs, or spending excess money shopping or gambling.
4. Finding Happiness with Your Kids
4-1. Establish a new normal.
Creating structure after your divorce can help you and your kids adjust to your new reality. Plus, a new routine makes things less confusing and can even give everyone a peace of mind.
As soon as you can, work out the basic elements of your routine and share them with your children. Add in new activities and tasks that fit your new life, such as signing them up for after-school programs or spending weekends with the other parent.
Consider developing new traditions for you and your kids, too. For instance, if they visit the other parent on weekends, you might initiate a family game night or movie night on a weekday. Or, if you won't have your children on Christmas Day, you might open gifts and have a nice dinner on Christmas Eve.
4-2. Cherish parent-child time.
Bonding with your children is essential to helping all of you move forward after the divorce. Schedule in time with each child individually and with them all as a group. Watch TV together, do parallel tasks like chores or reading, ask about school and their friendships, and encourage them to share their feelings about the divorce.
Fostering a healthy relationship with your children will also lessen the negative impact of the divorce. Just make sure to never bad-mouth the other parent in front of them.
4-3. Ask for help as needed.
You may be hesitant to ask others for help, but sometimes a helping hand is exactly what you need. If you’re having trouble adjusting to being a single parent (or a co-parent) or managing certain household responsibilities, get assistance.
You might ask friends or family members for a hand, like “Veronica, do you mind watching the kids next Thursday so I can get a night off?”
Or you can hire help in the form of a babysitter, a cleaner, or a financial advisor.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reconnecting with Yourself\\n1-1. Learn your likes and dislikes as a single person.\\nIf you’ve been a part of a couple for many years, you may have lost touch with your core identity. Use this time to get back to yourself. Remember the person you were before your marriage and consider the person you would like to become.\\nSit down and make a list of your likes and dislikes. Focus solely on your own preferences—try to avoid thinking about your spouse’s opinion.\\nFor example, you may be working in a job that you don’t really like because it was best for your family at the time. Or you might still make your spouse’s favorite meal even though it’s not your favorite.\\n1-2. Discover your passions.\\nIf you have hobbies, use your newfound freedom to dedicate more time to them. If you don’t have any hobbies, think about starting a few. What are some activities you always put off doing because you didn’t have time or because your spouse wasn’t a fan? Now, you can engage in all of these activities.\\nFor instance, you might start cycling again on weekends. Or, if you’re a bookworm, you can join a local book club.\\nTake this opportunity to pick up some new hobbies. Try something you've always wanted to learn, or start a club for an old passion.\\n1-3. Embrace new habits and roles.\\nDivorce pushes you to develop aspects of yourself that you never had to before. For instance, if your spouse did all the shopping and cooking, you may need to learn how to take on this role. If they were the primary breadwinner, you might have to get a job or find one with better pay.\\nInstead of viewing these new roles as just added stress, see them as an opportunity to push past your comfort zone. In fact, you can learn to enjoy new roles by making a list of all the tasks you do now that you didn't feel capable of before.\\nIf you were a stay-at-home parent while your spouse worked, you will likely need to get back out onto the job market. Take this time to learn new skills that might help you get a new job.\\nDon't be afraid to try new things. Work towards self-improvement, and you'll be happier in the long run.\\n1-4. Travel alone.\\nVisiting new places is a great way to rediscover yourself and get outside your comfort zone. Plus, traveling helps you become more aware of what you like and don’t like, because no one else will be influencing your decisions. See the museums you want to see and select the restaurants that seem interesting to you.\\nTraveling is also a great way to create new memories without your spouse.\\nVisit a nearby city that you’ve never explored or plan a big trip across country or across continents.\\n2. Finding Support\\n2-1. Lean on good friends and family.\\nYour support system is vital in the aftermath of your divorce. Just be sure you’re spending time with positive influences who make you feel good about yourself and your future.\\nStart a new tradition with your social group, such as Sunday brunch or Friday game nights. This will give you something to look forward to.\\nRemove people from your life that influence you to make negative choices, such as dwelling in the past or using alcohol or drugs to cope.\\n2-2. Join a support group.\\nReach out to people in your local community who are going through a divorce, too. Talking to people who “get” you can help you feel less alone. Plus, some of the support group members may have helpful solutions to many of the problems you face.\\nConduct a quick online search to locate divorce support groups in your area. You can also contact community centers and churches who may sponsor these groups.\\n2-3. See a therapist.\\nIt’s nice to have an unbiased person to talk to about what you’re going through. A therapist can serve as a listening ear and a source of comfort as you navigate life after divorce. Ask your primary care provider for a referral or get recommendations for good therapists from your social group.\\n3. Rebuilding Your Life\\n3-1. Set new goals.\\nGoals can propel you forward and offer a powerful source of motivation. Take some time to think about where you want your life to be in a six months or a year. Then, write out clear and realistic goals that will help you accomplish that vision. Break each goal down into small steps so you can take action towards them daily.\\nFor instance, maybe you want to raise your credit score so you can buy a new car. You might need to pay down some of your existing debt, which may require making more money or reducing some of your household expenses.\\nSetting powerful goals also keeps you busy, so you don’t spend so much time dwelling on the past.\\n3-2. Plan your financial future.\\nDivorce can be expensive. You may need to pay alimony, child support, or legal fees. Take some time to budget your new life in a single income household. Make sure you can afford the necessities while also saving money for retirement and an emergency fund.\\nIf your spouse did all of the financial planning, you may need to relearn how to do it. Take a financial literacy course at a community college or talk to a financial planner.\\nIf there are children involved, you will have to plan for their care as well.\\nLook as far forward into the future as you can. You may even develop a ten-year plan.\\n3-3. Meet new people.\\nYou don’t have to ditch your old pals after your divorce, but you may find that some of your friendships fall apart or change. That’s completely normal. To counteract changes in your social circle, make an attempt to meet new people that share your interests or goals. Join new clubs or organizations to connect with people like you.\\nMeeting new people also refers to potential dates. Don’t be afraid to connect with someone new when you’re ready. Focus on just having a good time at first. Then, see where it goes.\\n3-4. Practice self-care.\\nYou’re now performing all the roles your spouse once handled, which means you may feel like you have even less time in a day. Regardless if it’s just ten minutes a day, try to steal some time away to do something for yourself. Try reading a book, listening to calming music, stretching, or going for a walk outside.\\n3-5. Support your health and wellness.\\nGoing through a divorce is stressful on the body and mind. Support your well-being by making positive choices. Try to eat balanced and nutritious meals regularly. Get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Exercise for about 30 minutes on most days of the week.\\nResist the urge to cope with your feelings by bingeing on junk foods, using alcohol or drugs, or spending excess money shopping or gambling.\\n4. Finding Happiness with Your Kids\\n4-1. Establish a new normal.\\nCreating structure after your divorce can help you and your kids adjust to your new reality. Plus, a new routine makes things less confusing and can even give everyone a peace of mind.\\nAs soon as you can, work out the basic elements of your routine and share them with your children. Add in new activities and tasks that fit your new life, such as signing them up for after-school programs or spending weekends with the other parent.\\nConsider developing new traditions for you and your kids, too. For instance, if they visit the other parent on weekends, you might initiate a family game night or movie night on a weekday. Or, if you won't have your children on Christmas Day, you might open gifts and have a nice dinner on Christmas Eve.\\n4-2. Cherish parent-child time.\\nBonding with your children is essential to helping all of you move forward after the divorce. Schedule in time with each child individually and with them all as a group. Watch TV together, do parallel tasks like chores or reading, ask about school and their friendships, and encourage them to share their feelings about the divorce.\\nFostering a healthy relationship with your children will also lessen the negative impact of the divorce. Just make sure to never bad-mouth the other parent in front of them.\\n4-3. Ask for help as needed.\\nYou may be hesitant to ask others for help, but sometimes a helping hand is exactly what you need. If you’re having trouble adjusting to being a single parent (or a co-parent) or managing certain household responsibilities, get assistance.\\nYou might ask friends or family members for a hand, like “Veronica, do you mind watching the kids next Thursday so I can get a night off?”\\nOr you can hire help in the form of a babysitter, a cleaner, or a financial advisor.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’ve just gone through a divorce, you'll quickly realize that your life has changed in many ways, good and bad. Although it’s painful to end a marriage, you just might find a silver lining to the whole experience awaiting you. Learn to be happy after your divorce by rediscovering yourself as a single person, getting support, and making positive decisions for your future.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reconnecting with Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn your likes and dislikes as a single person.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve been a part of a couple for many years, you may have lost touch with your core identity. Use this time to get back to yourself. Remember the person you were before your marriage and consider the person you would like to become.\\nSit down and make a list of your likes and dislikes. Focus solely on your own preferences—try to avoid thinking about your spouse’s opinion.\\nFor example, you may be working in a job that you don’t really like because it was best for your family at the time. Or you might still make your spouse’s favorite meal even though it’s not your favorite.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discover your passions.\", \"描述\": \"If you have hobbies, use your newfound freedom to dedicate more time to them. If you don’t have any hobbies, think about starting a few. What are some activities you always put off doing because you didn’t have time or because your spouse wasn’t a fan? Now, you can engage in all of these activities.\\nFor instance, you might start cycling again on weekends. Or, if you’re a bookworm, you can join a local book club.\\nTake this opportunity to pick up some new hobbies. Try something you've always wanted to learn, or start a club for an old passion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace new habits and roles.\", \"描述\": \"Divorce pushes you to develop aspects of yourself that you never had to before. For instance, if your spouse did all the shopping and cooking, you may need to learn how to take on this role. If they were the primary breadwinner, you might have to get a job or find one with better pay.\\nInstead of viewing these new roles as just added stress, see them as an opportunity to push past your comfort zone. In fact, you can learn to enjoy new roles by making a list of all the tasks you do now that you didn't feel capable of before.\\nIf you were a stay-at-home parent while your spouse worked, you will likely need to get back out onto the job market. Take this time to learn new skills that might help you get a new job.\\nDon't be afraid to try new things. Work towards self-improvement, and you'll be happier in the long run.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Travel alone.\", \"描述\": \"Visiting new places is a great way to rediscover yourself and get outside your comfort zone. Plus, traveling helps you become more aware of what you like and don’t like, because no one else will be influencing your decisions. See the museums you want to see and select the restaurants that seem interesting to you.\\nTraveling is also a great way to create new memories without your spouse.\\nVisit a nearby city that you’ve never explored or plan a big trip across country or across continents.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lean on good friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"Your support system is vital in the aftermath of your divorce. Just be sure you’re spending time with positive influences who make you feel good about yourself and your future.\\nStart a new tradition with your social group, such as Sunday brunch or Friday game nights. This will give you something to look forward to.\\nRemove people from your life that influence you to make negative choices, such as dwelling in the past or using alcohol or drugs to cope.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a support group.\", \"描述\": \"Reach out to people in your local community who are going through a divorce, too. Talking to people who “get” you can help you feel less alone. Plus, some of the support group members may have helpful solutions to many of the problems you face.\\nConduct a quick online search to locate divorce support groups in your area. You can also contact community centers and churches who may sponsor these groups.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See a therapist.\", \"描述\": \"It’s nice to have an unbiased person to talk to about what you’re going through. A therapist can serve as a listening ear and a source of comfort as you navigate life after divorce. Ask your primary care provider for a referral or get recommendations for good therapists from your social group.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rebuilding Your Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set new goals.\", \"描述\": \"Goals can propel you forward and offer a powerful source of motivation. Take some time to think about where you want your life to be in a six months or a year. Then, write out clear and realistic goals that will help you accomplish that vision. Break each goal down into small steps so you can take action towards them daily.\\nFor instance, maybe you want to raise your credit score so you can buy a new car. You might need to pay down some of your existing debt, which may require making more money or reducing some of your household expenses.\\nSetting powerful goals also keeps you busy, so you don’t spend so much time dwelling on the past.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan your financial future.\", \"描述\": \"Divorce can be expensive. You may need to pay alimony, child support, or legal fees. Take some time to budget your new life in a single income household. Make sure you can afford the necessities while also saving money for retirement and an emergency fund.\\nIf your spouse did all of the financial planning, you may need to relearn how to do it. Take a financial literacy course at a community college or talk to a financial planner.\\nIf there are children involved, you will have to plan for their care as well.\\nLook as far forward into the future as you can. You may even develop a ten-year plan.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meet new people.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to ditch your old pals after your divorce, but you may find that some of your friendships fall apart or change. That’s completely normal. To counteract changes in your social circle, make an attempt to meet new people that share your interests or goals. Join new clubs or organizations to connect with people like you.\\nMeeting new people also refers to potential dates. Don’t be afraid to connect with someone new when you’re ready. Focus on just having a good time at first. Then, see where it goes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice self-care.\", \"描述\": \"You’re now performing all the roles your spouse once handled, which means you may feel like you have even less time in a day. Regardless if it’s just ten minutes a day, try to steal some time away to do something for yourself. Try reading a book, listening to calming music, stretching, or going for a walk outside.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support your health and wellness.\", \"描述\": \"Going through a divorce is stressful on the body and mind. Support your well-being by making positive choices. Try to eat balanced and nutritious meals regularly. Get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Exercise for about 30 minutes on most days of the week.\\nResist the urge to cope with your feelings by bingeing on junk foods, using alcohol or drugs, or spending excess money shopping or gambling.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Finding Happiness with Your Kids\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establish a new normal.\", \"描述\": \"Creating structure after your divorce can help you and your kids adjust to your new reality. Plus, a new routine makes things less confusing and can even give everyone a peace of mind.\\nAs soon as you can, work out the basic elements of your routine and share them with your children. Add in new activities and tasks that fit your new life, such as signing them up for after-school programs or spending weekends with the other parent.\\nConsider developing new traditions for you and your kids, too. For instance, if they visit the other parent on weekends, you might initiate a family game night or movie night on a weekday. Or, if you won't have your children on Christmas Day, you might open gifts and have a nice dinner on Christmas Eve.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cherish parent-child time.\", \"描述\": \"Bonding with your children is essential to helping all of you move forward after the divorce. Schedule in time with each child individually and with them all as a group. Watch TV together, do parallel tasks like chores or reading, ask about school and their friendships, and encourage them to share their feelings about the divorce.\\nFostering a healthy relationship with your children will also lessen the negative impact of the divorce. Just make sure to never bad-mouth the other parent in front of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for help as needed.\", \"描述\": \"You may be hesitant to ask others for help, but sometimes a helping hand is exactly what you need. If you’re having trouble adjusting to being a single parent (or a co-parent) or managing certain household responsibilities, get assistance.\\nYou might ask friends or family members for a hand, like “Veronica, do you mind watching the kids next Thursday so I can get a night off?”\\nOr you can hire help in the form of a babysitter, a cleaner, or a financial advisor.\"}]}]}}",
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3,798 | How to Be Happy Being Single on Valentine's Day | 1. Celebrating a Single Valentine's Day
1-1. Get some perspective.
If you feel sad because Valentine's Day causes feelings of loneliness and reminds you that you're "just" a single, it might help to realize that there are plenty of other single people experiencing Valentine's Day too.
While some of them might be feeling as miserable as you, some of them are probably having a wonderful time snickering at the pointlessness of Valentine's Day or not even bothering to give it any notice. And then there are many couples who resist Valentine's Day as much as possible, despairing of the pressure to conform to purchasing gifts and celebrating the occasion like clockwork and who find the commercialization of Valentine's Day crass even though they're in love.
With this perspective in mind, it can be a little easier to stop sniffling into your handkerchief.
Remind yourself that the benefits of Valentine's Day are realized in the cashier's till of the florist, candy retailers, gift stores and restaurants catering for romantic dinners for two.
1-2. Love your singleness.
Think about all the marvelous benefits of being single, from not fighting over the TV remote control to being able to keep your living space as clean or as messy as you'd like. The "couples" messaging is strong but it isn't a reflection of the full reality of how people choose to live their lives; don't fall for the hype that everyone's paired off and happy as a result. There are many very happy single people but it's just not currently fashionable to cover the happiness of being single in media or political discourse.
Write a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the home front, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within a relationship. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.
If people choose to rub your "singleness" in your face on Valentine's Day, be strong and reply with compassion: "I like being single. I get to choose how I want to live without having to make compromises, meals, or even the bed." And you might wish to mention that statistics reveal that half the community is single, with 51 percent of women, for example, living without a spouse.
1-3. Be happy within yourself regardless of your relationship status.
Romantic tales often suggest that another person can complete you, with common sayings such as "my better half", "I was half the person without you", and "our two hearts beat as one" being readily asserted with few people stopping to assess what that actually means. If taken too seriously, this unhealthy perspective can mean co-dependence, loss of independence, and losing yourself in another person. That is hardly romantic! And do relationships equate with happiness ever after? Divorce statistics and the stories of unhappy marriages seem to attest otherwise for a large group of people. Bear in mind that there's no need to change who you are, or to lose your liberty or your habits when you're single. Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that testify to you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need such a relationship to create self-worth and happiness confidence.
1-4. Avoid being swept away by the tide.
You may be very romantic and long for your "soul mate" some day but patience may need to be your current virtue. There are plenty of Valentine's Days in a lifetime just as there are plenty of possible people with whom you could eventually fall in love. Sometimes what is difficult about surviving Valentine's Day as a single is the sheer preponderance of love messaging suggesting that you need to hurry or you'll risk missing the boat. If that were the case, then love in your senior years wouldn't be possible and that's just not true. Many romances spark throughout people's lives, no matter what age. In the meantime, love the life you're living and don't live for love.
Remember what can happen to those who rush love and marry before knowing themselves. This can end in one partner realizing some day that they need to "find themselves" and the relationship suffers for it.
Diapers are not romantic. Endless nights without sleep are not romantic. Don't rush before you're absolutely ready to commit; enjoy this single time, now or for as long as you intend it to last.
1-5. Treat yourself.
As you're standing in the queue waiting to pay for your mundane everyday items, if you find yourself falling for the doe-eyed stuffed teddy holding a heart while wishing someone would send you one of those soppy cards, or you're salivating over the box of heart-shaped chocolates, consider treating yourself instead of beating yourself up. If that teddy is so cute you want it on your bed, give in. Or better yet, splurge on buying something you'd really like to have, like a bottle of perfume, a six-pack of European beers, a new coffee plunger, or a recent book by a favorite author. Don't make this day about hurt and loss. Make it all about love, even when single!
Do something decadent like attend a day spa all day long or go for a sightseeing flight over your city. Take along some friends if doing this alone feels weird.
Not too decadent. Set your troubles aside for a day, but don't make them worse. You'll enjoy yourself more now as well as in the future if you know you won't worry more about how to reduce expenses because you spent too much on an indulgence like a huge box of boutique chocolates, or how to lose weight fast because they were too good to stop eating.
1-6. Find out what's happening in the singles scene.
A number of bars hold singles parties that will give you the chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don't take your love expectations though; just go to have a great time and to discover some new people to talk to and share cocktails with. This isn't about falling for anyone out of loneliness!
1-7. Think of the money you're saving.
The overly romantic person might reply "Ah but what price can be placed on love? It is priceless!" That kind of thinking can lead you to live a life of extravagance without focusing on the practicalities and the importance of validating relationships with words and deeds over expensive love tokens. Diamonds are expensive and they're not that good at relationship advice.
1-8. Love your exercise.
If love has you in its grip, shake it off like you'd shake off the blues, with some good old-fashioned exercise. A run around the park, a skate across the rink, or a swim in the pool might be just the ticket to help you resist the more primal desires.
1-9. Consider the day after Valentine's Day.
Will all those lovers continue whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, will they keep surprising one another with candlelit dinners and trips down memory lane? It is to be hoped so. Reality however, suggests otherwise and we all, single or unattached, can fall into a habit of not acknowledging the people who matter in our life. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reminder to spend the rest of the year letting people know how much they mean to you. That will show your coupled friends that love is everywhere.
Tips
Set up your sweet tooth and look forward to Cheap Chocolates Day, when the soft centers and seasonal candy treats are marked down to quarter price because the box is heart shaped. Best day of the year to enjoy expensive boxed chocolates at a super discount. Heck, consider this even if you are in a couple, it might be more romantic to spend Valentine's Day itself alone getting into something more personal and less crowd-oriented.
Celebrate "Cheap Chocolates Day." All those fancy treats, soft center chocolates and interesting concoctions are discounted heavily on the 15th. You can have a good time celebrating on your own the day after and look forward to the goodies!
You should also realize that there are less fortunate people around the world. You may feel depressed about yourself on Valentine's Day on not having a mate, but there's plenty of people who do don't even have a home, food, good health, freedom, and other essentials. Your situation pales in comparison to people who live under dictatorships and/or third-world poverty. Try volunteering at a homeless shelter or donate goods to third world countries. You will realize how lucky you still are and not worry about not having a mate too much.
Warnings
If people act as if they're sorry for you or pity you, avoid biting or sarcastic comments about their love life. Just remind them gently that you're happy or that you're actively getting on with life in a way that works for you. If you're really pestered, ask them why it bothers them so much that you're not in a couple. That might actually touch a raw nerve!
Giving in and watching a whole lot of soppy romance movies, listening to love songs on the radio, and watching Valentine's Day specials on TV will make things far worse for you. Don't wallow in your self-pity, because you shouldn't have any. You'll feel wretched, cry, and think you're missing out on something. Do yourself a favor and simply don't do it. There are plenty of fun things you could be doing instead, like celebrating Ferris Wheel Day.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Celebrating a Single Valentine's Day\\n1-1. Get some perspective.\\nIf you feel sad because Valentine's Day causes feelings of loneliness and reminds you that you're \\\"just\\\" a single, it might help to realize that there are plenty of other single people experiencing Valentine's Day too.\\nWhile some of them might be feeling as miserable as you, some of them are probably having a wonderful time snickering at the pointlessness of Valentine's Day or not even bothering to give it any notice. And then there are many couples who resist Valentine's Day as much as possible, despairing of the pressure to conform to purchasing gifts and celebrating the occasion like clockwork and who find the commercialization of Valentine's Day crass even though they're in love.\\nWith this perspective in mind, it can be a little easier to stop sniffling into your handkerchief.\\nRemind yourself that the benefits of Valentine's Day are realized in the cashier's till of the florist, candy retailers, gift stores and restaurants catering for romantic dinners for two.\\n1-2. Love your singleness.\\nThink about all the marvelous benefits of being single, from not fighting over the TV remote control to being able to keep your living space as clean or as messy as you'd like. The \\\"couples\\\" messaging is strong but it isn't a reflection of the full reality of how people choose to live their lives; don't fall for the hype that everyone's paired off and happy as a result. There are many very happy single people but it's just not currently fashionable to cover the happiness of being single in media or political discourse.\\nWrite a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the home front, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within a relationship. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.\\nIf people choose to rub your \\\"singleness\\\" in your face on Valentine's Day, be strong and reply with compassion: \\\"I like being single. I get to choose how I want to live without having to make compromises, meals, or even the bed.\\\" And you might wish to mention that statistics reveal that half the community is single, with 51 percent of women, for example, living without a spouse.\\n1-3. Be happy within yourself regardless of your relationship status.\\nRomantic tales often suggest that another person can complete you, with common sayings such as \\\"my better half\\\", \\\"I was half the person without you\\\", and \\\"our two hearts beat as one\\\" being readily asserted with few people stopping to assess what that actually means. If taken too seriously, this unhealthy perspective can mean co-dependence, loss of independence, and losing yourself in another person. That is hardly romantic! And do relationships equate with happiness ever after? Divorce statistics and the stories of unhappy marriages seem to attest otherwise for a large group of people. Bear in mind that there's no need to change who you are, or to lose your liberty or your habits when you're single. Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that testify to you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need such a relationship to create self-worth and happiness confidence.\\n1-4. Avoid being swept away by the tide.\\nYou may be very romantic and long for your \\\"soul mate\\\" some day but patience may need to be your current virtue. There are plenty of Valentine's Days in a lifetime just as there are plenty of possible people with whom you could eventually fall in love. Sometimes what is difficult about surviving Valentine's Day as a single is the sheer preponderance of love messaging suggesting that you need to hurry or you'll risk missing the boat. If that were the case, then love in your senior years wouldn't be possible and that's just not true. Many romances spark throughout people's lives, no matter what age. In the meantime, love the life you're living and don't live for love.\\nRemember what can happen to those who rush love and marry before knowing themselves. This can end in one partner realizing some day that they need to \\\"find themselves\\\" and the relationship suffers for it.\\nDiapers are not romantic. Endless nights without sleep are not romantic. Don't rush before you're absolutely ready to commit; enjoy this single time, now or for as long as you intend it to last.\\n1-5. Treat yourself.\\nAs you're standing in the queue waiting to pay for your mundane everyday items, if you find yourself falling for the doe-eyed stuffed teddy holding a heart while wishing someone would send you one of those soppy cards, or you're salivating over the box of heart-shaped chocolates, consider treating yourself instead of beating yourself up. If that teddy is so cute you want it on your bed, give in. Or better yet, splurge on buying something you'd really like to have, like a bottle of perfume, a six-pack of European beers, a new coffee plunger, or a recent book by a favorite author. Don't make this day about hurt and loss. Make it all about love, even when single!\\nDo something decadent like attend a day spa all day long or go for a sightseeing flight over your city. Take along some friends if doing this alone feels weird.\\nNot too decadent. Set your troubles aside for a day, but don't make them worse. You'll enjoy yourself more now as well as in the future if you know you won't worry more about how to reduce expenses because you spent too much on an indulgence like a huge box of boutique chocolates, or how to lose weight fast because they were too good to stop eating.\\n1-6. Find out what's happening in the singles scene.\\nA number of bars hold singles parties that will give you the chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don't take your love expectations though; just go to have a great time and to discover some new people to talk to and share cocktails with. This isn't about falling for anyone out of loneliness!\\n1-7. Think of the money you're saving.\\nThe overly romantic person might reply \\\"Ah but what price can be placed on love? It is priceless!\\\" That kind of thinking can lead you to live a life of extravagance without focusing on the practicalities and the importance of validating relationships with words and deeds over expensive love tokens. Diamonds are expensive and they're not that good at relationship advice.\\n1-8. Love your exercise.\\nIf love has you in its grip, shake it off like you'd shake off the blues, with some good old-fashioned exercise. A run around the park, a skate across the rink, or a swim in the pool might be just the ticket to help you resist the more primal desires.\\n1-9. Consider the day after Valentine's Day.\\nWill all those lovers continue whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, will they keep surprising one another with candlelit dinners and trips down memory lane? It is to be hoped so. Reality however, suggests otherwise and we all, single or unattached, can fall into a habit of not acknowledging the people who matter in our life. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reminder to spend the rest of the year letting people know how much they mean to you. That will show your coupled friends that love is everywhere.\\nTips\\nSet up your sweet tooth and look forward to Cheap Chocolates Day, when the soft centers and seasonal candy treats are marked down to quarter price because the box is heart shaped. Best day of the year to enjoy expensive boxed chocolates at a super discount. Heck, consider this even if you are in a couple, it might be more romantic to spend Valentine's Day itself alone getting into something more personal and less crowd-oriented.\\nCelebrate \\\"Cheap Chocolates Day.\\\" All those fancy treats, soft center chocolates and interesting concoctions are discounted heavily on the 15th. You can have a good time celebrating on your own the day after and look forward to the goodies!\\nYou should also realize that there are less fortunate people around the world. You may feel depressed about yourself on Valentine's Day on not having a mate, but there's plenty of people who do don't even have a home, food, good health, freedom, and other essentials. Your situation pales in comparison to people who live under dictatorships and/or third-world poverty. Try volunteering at a homeless shelter or donate goods to third world countries. You will realize how lucky you still are and not worry about not having a mate too much.\\nWarnings\\nIf people act as if they're sorry for you or pity you, avoid biting or sarcastic comments about their love life. Just remind them gently that you're happy or that you're actively getting on with life in a way that works for you. If you're really pestered, ask them why it bothers them so much that you're not in a couple. That might actually touch a raw nerve!\\nGiving in and watching a whole lot of soppy romance movies, listening to love songs on the radio, and watching Valentine's Day specials on TV will make things far worse for you. Don't wallow in your self-pity, because you shouldn't have any. You'll feel wretched, cry, and think you're missing out on something. Do yourself a favor and simply don't do it. There are plenty of fun things you could be doing instead, like celebrating Ferris Wheel Day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Ah, romance. Just what everyone needs...right? Wrong. The Valentine's Day marketing machine and the quest for social acceptance can make \\\"Singles Awareness Day\\\" dreary or even cruel if you're alone, whether by choice or by circumstance. It's hard to see what else life has to offer when you're bombarded with romantic comedies on TV, flowers, romance novels and cutesy heart-shaped trinkets in the stores, and never-ending drippy advertisements and event announcements.\\n\\nFear not. You can be happy as a single on Valentine's Day. Resist the pressure to couple up if it doesn't happen to be the time for you, and celebrate the moment.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Celebrating a Single Valentine's Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get some perspective.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel sad because Valentine's Day causes feelings of loneliness and reminds you that you're \\\"just\\\" a single, it might help to realize that there are plenty of other single people experiencing Valentine's Day too.\\nWhile some of them might be feeling as miserable as you, some of them are probably having a wonderful time snickering at the pointlessness of Valentine's Day or not even bothering to give it any notice. And then there are many couples who resist Valentine's Day as much as possible, despairing of the pressure to conform to purchasing gifts and celebrating the occasion like clockwork and who find the commercialization of Valentine's Day crass even though they're in love.\\nWith this perspective in mind, it can be a little easier to stop sniffling into your handkerchief.\\nRemind yourself that the benefits of Valentine's Day are realized in the cashier's till of the florist, candy retailers, gift stores and restaurants catering for romantic dinners for two.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Love your singleness.\", \"描述\": \"Think about all the marvelous benefits of being single, from not fighting over the TV remote control to being able to keep your living space as clean or as messy as you'd like. The \\\"couples\\\" messaging is strong but it isn't a reflection of the full reality of how people choose to live their lives; don't fall for the hype that everyone's paired off and happy as a result. There are many very happy single people but it's just not currently fashionable to cover the happiness of being single in media or political discourse.\\nWrite a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the home front, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within a relationship. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.\\nIf people choose to rub your \\\"singleness\\\" in your face on Valentine's Day, be strong and reply with compassion: \\\"I like being single. I get to choose how I want to live without having to make compromises, meals, or even the bed.\\\" And you might wish to mention that statistics reveal that half the community is single, with 51 percent of women, for example, living without a spouse.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be happy within yourself regardless of your relationship status.\", \"描述\": \"Romantic tales often suggest that another person can complete you, with common sayings such as \\\"my better half\\\", \\\"I was half the person without you\\\", and \\\"our two hearts beat as one\\\" being readily asserted with few people stopping to assess what that actually means. If taken too seriously, this unhealthy perspective can mean co-dependence, loss of independence, and losing yourself in another person. That is hardly romantic! And do relationships equate with happiness ever after? Divorce statistics and the stories of unhappy marriages seem to attest otherwise for a large group of people. Bear in mind that there's no need to change who you are, or to lose your liberty or your habits when you're single. Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that testify to you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need such a relationship to create self-worth and happiness confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid being swept away by the tide.\", \"描述\": \"You may be very romantic and long for your \\\"soul mate\\\" some day but patience may need to be your current virtue. There are plenty of Valentine's Days in a lifetime just as there are plenty of possible people with whom you could eventually fall in love. Sometimes what is difficult about surviving Valentine's Day as a single is the sheer preponderance of love messaging suggesting that you need to hurry or you'll risk missing the boat. If that were the case, then love in your senior years wouldn't be possible and that's just not true. Many romances spark throughout people's lives, no matter what age. In the meantime, love the life you're living and don't live for love.\\nRemember what can happen to those who rush love and marry before knowing themselves. This can end in one partner realizing some day that they need to \\\"find themselves\\\" and the relationship suffers for it.\\nDiapers are not romantic. Endless nights without sleep are not romantic. Don't rush before you're absolutely ready to commit; enjoy this single time, now or for as long as you intend it to last.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself.\", \"描述\": \"As you're standing in the queue waiting to pay for your mundane everyday items, if you find yourself falling for the doe-eyed stuffed teddy holding a heart while wishing someone would send you one of those soppy cards, or you're salivating over the box of heart-shaped chocolates, consider treating yourself instead of beating yourself up. If that teddy is so cute you want it on your bed, give in. Or better yet, splurge on buying something you'd really like to have, like a bottle of perfume, a six-pack of European beers, a new coffee plunger, or a recent book by a favorite author. Don't make this day about hurt and loss. Make it all about love, even when single!\\nDo something decadent like attend a day spa all day long or go for a sightseeing flight over your city. Take along some friends if doing this alone feels weird.\\nNot too decadent. Set your troubles aside for a day, but don't make them worse. You'll enjoy yourself more now as well as in the future if you know you won't worry more about how to reduce expenses because you spent too much on an indulgence like a huge box of boutique chocolates, or how to lose weight fast because they were too good to stop eating.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find out what's happening in the singles scene.\", \"描述\": \"A number of bars hold singles parties that will give you the chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don't take your love expectations though; just go to have a great time and to discover some new people to talk to and share cocktails with. This isn't about falling for anyone out of loneliness!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Think of the money you're saving.\", \"描述\": \"The overly romantic person might reply \\\"Ah but what price can be placed on love? It is priceless!\\\" That kind of thinking can lead you to live a life of extravagance without focusing on the practicalities and the importance of validating relationships with words and deeds over expensive love tokens. Diamonds are expensive and they're not that good at relationship advice.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Love your exercise.\", \"描述\": \"If love has you in its grip, shake it off like you'd shake off the blues, with some good old-fashioned exercise. A run around the park, a skate across the rink, or a swim in the pool might be just the ticket to help you resist the more primal desires.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Consider the day after Valentine's Day.\", \"描述\": \"Will all those lovers continue whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, will they keep surprising one another with candlelit dinners and trips down memory lane? It is to be hoped so. Reality however, suggests otherwise and we all, single or unattached, can fall into a habit of not acknowledging the people who matter in our life. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reminder to spend the rest of the year letting people know how much they mean to you. That will show your coupled friends that love is everywhere.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Set up your sweet tooth and look forward to Cheap Chocolates Day, when the soft centers and seasonal candy treats are marked down to quarter price because the box is heart shaped. Best day of the year to enjoy expensive boxed chocolates at a super discount. Heck, consider this even if you are in a couple, it might be more romantic to spend Valentine's Day itself alone getting into something more personal and less crowd-oriented.\\n\", \"Celebrate \\\"Cheap Chocolates Day.\\\" All those fancy treats, soft center chocolates and interesting concoctions are discounted heavily on the 15th. You can have a good time celebrating on your own the day after and look forward to the goodies!\\n\", \"You should also realize that there are less fortunate people around the world. You may feel depressed about yourself on Valentine's Day on not having a mate, but there's plenty of people who do don't even have a home, food, good health, freedom, and other essentials. Your situation pales in comparison to people who live under dictatorships and/or third-world poverty. Try volunteering at a homeless shelter or donate goods to third world countries. You will realize how lucky you still are and not worry about not having a mate too much.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If people act as if they're sorry for you or pity you, avoid biting or sarcastic comments about their love life. Just remind them gently that you're happy or that you're actively getting on with life in a way that works for you. If you're really pestered, ask them why it bothers them so much that you're not in a couple. That might actually touch a raw nerve!\\n\", \"Giving in and watching a whole lot of soppy romance movies, listening to love songs on the radio, and watching Valentine's Day specials on TV will make things far worse for you. Don't wallow in your self-pity, because you shouldn't have any. You'll feel wretched, cry, and think you're missing out on something. Do yourself a favor and simply don't do it. There are plenty of fun things you could be doing instead, like celebrating Ferris Wheel Day.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,799 | How to Be Happy Being Yourself | 1. Loving Who You Are
1-1. Identify what makes you unique and wonderful.
Recognizing what you love about yourself first will make you much more comfortable in your own skin. Start by making a list of all of the things you love about yourself, whether it's your free spirit, your work ethic, or your shiny hair.
Find at least 10 things you like about yourself. Think about your talents, accomplishments, or characteristics.
Appreciate what makes you unique. Perhaps you speak four languages, can walk on your hands, or can instantly make new friends. Not everyone can do that, but you can!
Redirect negative thoughts into positive ones. For example, instead of thinking “I’m not pretty enough,” say “I look great today!”
1-2. Practice gratitude in your daily life.
Actively giving thanks helps you recognize the wonderful people, things, and opportunities in your life. Make a daily habit of giving thanks to those you love. Appreciate your opportunities, strengths, skills, and blessings.
Keep a gratitude journal and write everything that you’re thankful for. You might include your family, friends, home, hobbies, opportunities, or health. Add 1 thing to this journal every day. If you’re feeling upset or down, try reading through the journal to cheer you up.
Always say thank you, whether you're thanking your local barista for an amazing cup of coffee or your father for always being there for you.
1-3. Fill your life with laughter.
Always leave some room for laughter in your daily life. No matter how dire your life may seem at a given moment, never forget to take a break to laugh. You'll feel better in both the short-term and the long-term.
Be just plain silly. Tell a corny joke, make a bad pun, or just dance around like a fool. Why not?
Laugh at your mistakes. This can defuse the situation and help you realize that things aren’t so bad.
Watch a comedy or a comedian. This will make you laugh and can cheer you up.
Be around people who love to laugh. Laughter is contagious!
1-4. Come to terms with your flaws.
Confidence is the key to happiness, but everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Instead of obsessing over your perceived flaws, embrace them. If you want, ask yourself what you can do to improve yourself in this regard.
Make a list of things you want to work on. Make manageable goals to improve. If you hate that you’re always forgetting things, try getting a planner or download a calendar app. Set alarms for when you need to do something.
Learn to live with some of your flaws. Perhaps you won’t ever get over your clumsiness, but that’s okay! Try to laugh when you stumble or brush it off as though it doesn’t matter.
Forgive yourself. Let's face it: we've all done something we're less than proud of. Whatever you did, you should recognize that it was wrong and understand why you did it, but after that, it's time to let it go.
2. Creating a Healthy Body Image
2-1. Identify what you love about your body.
Feeling good about your body can go a long way in helping you be happy with who you are. Look at yourself and appreciate your best features.
You may not love everything about your face, but you should be able to pick 1 or 2 things, like your eyes or your lips, that stand out. When you look at yourself, remind yourself how great this part of you looks.
Remind yourself what your body is capable of. Try to love your body for its ability to sing, dance, imagine, or jump.
2-2. Exercise
Exercise can boost your confidence and your mood, even if you’re not looking to lose weight or become stronger. Just working out for 30 minutes 2-3 times a week can increase your energy and confidence. Find what type of workout works for you and stick with it.
Mindful exercises, like yoga or tai chi, can give you a sense of calm and help you meditate about your body.
Team sports, like soccer or softball, are tons of fun. They add an important social element to your exercise that can help you feel more fulfilled.
Running, biking, swimming, or even just taking a walk can help you clear your mind while helping you become healthy.
2-3. Eat healthy foods
Improving your diet can help your mind and body. Having a good balance between fruits and veggies, proteins, and carbs can help you feel more in tune with your body.
Foods high in fiber and omega 3-fatty acids can improve your mood and help you feel happier. These include foods like whole wheat bread, brown rice, fish, green vegetables, and walnuts.
Cook your own food from scratch instead of buying premade foods. Cooking can help you make healthier decisions, and you'll get more satisfaction from your meal.
It's okay to indulge in the occasional burger or ice cream, but having too many processed or fatty foods will make you feel tired or sluggish.
2-4. Create a wardrobe that makes you look and feel good.
Being happy with what you're wearing can make or break how you feel about your appearance. If your clothes are dirty, don't fit well, or just don't look right, it can affect your mood and self-esteem. Choose a style that reflects your unique personality.
Choose clothing that is comfortable for your body. Don’t try to wear clothing that is too big or too small.
Have a few key items that you adore. Having a favorite pair of jeans, a beautiful knitted sweater, or a trendy scarf can really help you feel good about how you look.
Jewelry, belts, scarves, and shoes can really pull an outfit together. If you’re missing that extra touch, try adding an accessory to it.
3. Fostering a Joyful Lifestyle
3-1. Focus on the positive aspects
Sure, some of your work may be frustrating or even boring, but pick a few things you love about your job, whether it's interacting with clients or customers, learning new things, or having the opportunity to travel occasionally.
If you’re struggling at work, reframe how you approach your job. Personalize your workspace with pictures or plants. Avoid taking on extra projects if you’re overworked.
Take the time to get to know and appreciate the people you work with. You may feel like you have nothing in common, but if you make the extra effort to be friendly, it will make you much more eager to wake up to go to work.
Appreciate what your job can do for you. On hard days, remember that your job allows you to put food on the table.
3-2. Pursue hobbies and activities that interest you.
Hobbies and interests outside of work give you something to look forward to. This helps you become a more well-rounded and interesting person. If you don’t have any hobbies currently, you might:
Develop your artistic side. Try your hand at writing a poem, a song, or painting. You don't have to be great at it, but you can have fun in the process.
Learn a new language. This will make you feel more cultured and it can help you find a great job.
Join a team sport. Not only will you get a great workout, but you can make amazing friends.
Take an evening class. Learn something that you’re interested in, such as coding, woodworking, or ancient mythology.
3-3. Set a routine that works for you.
A routine allows you to organize your life in a way that make every day activities pass in a breeze. If you feel stressed, hurried, or bored at certain points of your day, try shaking things up. Switch around your routine until you find something that works.
Don't rush around in the morning. Give yourself enough time to eat a healthy breakfast and drive to work to arrive a few minutes early. Set your clothes out the night before or pack all of your lunches at the beginning of the week.
Even if your day is super-packed, make some time for yourself. Read a book during your lunch break, watch your favorite show before you go to bed, or wake up early enough to meditate.
Get plenty of rest. Go to bed and wake up at around the same time every day so your body develops a routine. This can help you feel more rested in the morning.
3-4. Try new experiences.
Experiences, and not material items, are the key to happiness. Trying new experiences can help you step outside of your comfort zone while giving you many interesting and unique memories.
Explore your surroundings and natural environments. Take a hike, go rafting, or try rock climbing.
Take a weekend trip, perhaps to a nearby city, mountain, or beach. Set aside 1 week a year for a much bigger trip to see your family or to visit a somewhere new, like New York City or the Grand Canyon.
Attend concerts, museum openings, or new movies in your area. This can help develop your mind and expose you to new experiences in your own town.
3-5. Create a clean and comfortable living space.
Feeling safe, comfortable, and at peace in your own living space can make the difference between being happy and being cooped up. Decorate your home in a way that makes you cheerful or energetic.
Clean up any clutter. Put away things where they belong, and avoid adding too much furniture to an area. Keeping an open, light room can go a long way in creating a happy space.
Filling your home with photos of your loved ones, souvenirs from your favorite vacations, or paintings of your favorite spots can help remind you of what makes you happy.
Boost your mood at home by painting your walls light or bright colors, like soft blue, lavender, or yellow.
3-6. Make changes if you’re not happy with your routine or lifestyle.
If you’re truly unhappy with an aspect of your life, you may have the power to change it. Take the initiative to move on and start something new.
If you hate your job so much that it is causing stress or anxiety, it may be time to find a new job.
Maybe you loved training for marathons for the past decade, but suddenly you dread all of your training runs. Spice things up by finding a new way to work out or spend your time.
If you feel stuck, bored, or isolated in your town, consider moving or take a vacation to somewhere new.
4. Establishing a Strong Social Network
4-1. Find supportive, positive friends.
Having a network of close friends is one the best ways to become happy with yourself in the long run. Having the right friends can improve your self-esteem, make you feel needed, and boost your self-confidence.
Treasure old friendships. Maintain these relationships with frequent visits, emails, phone calls, or skype sessions.
If you've met someone who you really click with, don't be afraid to ask them on a coffee date to see if you can get to know each other better.
Dump your toxic friends. If you have a friend who makes you feel terrible about yourself or is so negative that they manage to ruin your mood every time you hang out, it may be time to let them go.
4-2. Appreciate your family.
In many cases, nobody has done more for you or knows you better than your parents or siblings. Whether you're off at college, living in a different country, or sharing a house with your family members, it's important to be happy with who they are in order to be truly happy being yourself.
If you have a good relationship with your parents, take time to talk to them often, and tell them you love them. Don’t forget to thank them!
Treat your siblings well. Even if you sometimes you feel like you and your sibling live on different planets, you still share a common bond of knowing what it's like to grow up in the same place with the same parents.
Even if you don’t have a strong relationship with your biological family, you can appreciate those who are like family in your life. Consider who you might consider to be your family, and let them know how you feel.
4-3. Participate in your community.
Feeling involved in your neighborhood, city, religion, school, or other community group can make you feel like you belong to something bigger. This can help you create long-lasting relationships and find interesting things to do.
Introduce yourself to your neighbors. Your neighbors will not only make you feel involved in where you live, but they could end up being your best friends.
Attend town hall meetings, book clubs on your streets, concerts by local musicians, volunteer park clean-up days, or any other events that make you feel involved in local culture or politics.
Volunteering can give you a deep sense of fulfillment and help you meet others in your community. Look for organizations and causes you believe in. You might raise money for the homeless or build houses for low-income families.
4-4. Foster healthy romantic relationships.
Romance can be very fulfilling, but it is important to make sure that your relationships are founded on love, trust, and strong communication. A toxic romantic entanglement can cause significant stress and unhappiness.
If you have a great significant other, communicate openly with each other on a daily basis. Make sure that both partners are fulfilled and satisfied with the relationship.
If you're single and dating lots of people, have fun with it. Going on date after date may get frustrating, but if you stay positive, you're more likely to find the right person.
If you're single and not looking, that's okay too! If you're not at a point in your life where you want to date anyone, be happy with who you are and the decisions you're making.
4-5. Learn to forgive.
You won't be able to fully enjoy your relationships if you're holding a grudge or stuck in the past. Learning to forgive the people you love for their past mistakes is the only way to move forward in your relationships.
If someone has really hurt you, try looking at it from their perspective. Your friend may have hurt you with the best intentions, or might not have been thinking clearly.
Learn to accept an apology. If your friend, mother, or significant other is truly sincere and sorry about something, learn to accept an apology. Try to move on as best you can.
If you hurt the other person, say you're sorry too.
Tips
Do something that you love at least once a day, whether it be listening to a song that you love, or dancing in your underwear in your bedroom.
Try helping others. There is nothing like helping someone else to help improve your self-confidence and to make you realize how lucky you are.
Don't compare yourself to other people. This will only make you frustrated. Instead of focusing on what others have, focus on what makes you who you are.
Warnings
If you've tried everything and you still feel deeply unhappy with who you are, you may be suffering from depression and should seek professional help.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Loving Who You Are\\n1-1. Identify what makes you unique and wonderful.\\nRecognizing what you love about yourself first will make you much more comfortable in your own skin. Start by making a list of all of the things you love about yourself, whether it's your free spirit, your work ethic, or your shiny hair.\\nFind at least 10 things you like about yourself. Think about your talents, accomplishments, or characteristics.\\nAppreciate what makes you unique. Perhaps you speak four languages, can walk on your hands, or can instantly make new friends. Not everyone can do that, but you can!\\nRedirect negative thoughts into positive ones. For example, instead of thinking “I’m not pretty enough,” say “I look great today!”\\n1-2. Practice gratitude in your daily life.\\nActively giving thanks helps you recognize the wonderful people, things, and opportunities in your life. Make a daily habit of giving thanks to those you love. Appreciate your opportunities, strengths, skills, and blessings.\\nKeep a gratitude journal and write everything that you’re thankful for. You might include your family, friends, home, hobbies, opportunities, or health. Add 1 thing to this journal every day. If you’re feeling upset or down, try reading through the journal to cheer you up.\\nAlways say thank you, whether you're thanking your local barista for an amazing cup of coffee or your father for always being there for you.\\n1-3. Fill your life with laughter.\\nAlways leave some room for laughter in your daily life. No matter how dire your life may seem at a given moment, never forget to take a break to laugh. You'll feel better in both the short-term and the long-term.\\nBe just plain silly. Tell a corny joke, make a bad pun, or just dance around like a fool. Why not?\\nLaugh at your mistakes. This can defuse the situation and help you realize that things aren’t so bad.\\nWatch a comedy or a comedian. This will make you laugh and can cheer you up.\\nBe around people who love to laugh. Laughter is contagious!\\n1-4. Come to terms with your flaws.\\nConfidence is the key to happiness, but everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Instead of obsessing over your perceived flaws, embrace them. If you want, ask yourself what you can do to improve yourself in this regard.\\nMake a list of things you want to work on. Make manageable goals to improve. If you hate that you’re always forgetting things, try getting a planner or download a calendar app. Set alarms for when you need to do something.\\nLearn to live with some of your flaws. Perhaps you won’t ever get over your clumsiness, but that’s okay! Try to laugh when you stumble or brush it off as though it doesn’t matter.\\nForgive yourself. Let's face it: we've all done something we're less than proud of. Whatever you did, you should recognize that it was wrong and understand why you did it, but after that, it's time to let it go.\\n2. Creating a Healthy Body Image\\n2-1. Identify what you love about your body.\\nFeeling good about your body can go a long way in helping you be happy with who you are. Look at yourself and appreciate your best features.\\nYou may not love everything about your face, but you should be able to pick 1 or 2 things, like your eyes or your lips, that stand out. When you look at yourself, remind yourself how great this part of you looks.\\nRemind yourself what your body is capable of. Try to love your body for its ability to sing, dance, imagine, or jump.\\n2-2. Exercise\\nExercise can boost your confidence and your mood, even if you’re not looking to lose weight or become stronger. Just working out for 30 minutes 2-3 times a week can increase your energy and confidence. Find what type of workout works for you and stick with it.\\nMindful exercises, like yoga or tai chi, can give you a sense of calm and help you meditate about your body.\\nTeam sports, like soccer or softball, are tons of fun. They add an important social element to your exercise that can help you feel more fulfilled.\\nRunning, biking, swimming, or even just taking a walk can help you clear your mind while helping you become healthy.\\n2-3. Eat healthy foods\\nImproving your diet can help your mind and body. Having a good balance between fruits and veggies, proteins, and carbs can help you feel more in tune with your body.\\nFoods high in fiber and omega 3-fatty acids can improve your mood and help you feel happier. These include foods like whole wheat bread, brown rice, fish, green vegetables, and walnuts.\\nCook your own food from scratch instead of buying premade foods. Cooking can help you make healthier decisions, and you'll get more satisfaction from your meal.\\nIt's okay to indulge in the occasional burger or ice cream, but having too many processed or fatty foods will make you feel tired or sluggish.\\n2-4. Create a wardrobe that makes you look and feel good.\\nBeing happy with what you're wearing can make or break how you feel about your appearance. If your clothes are dirty, don't fit well, or just don't look right, it can affect your mood and self-esteem. Choose a style that reflects your unique personality.\\nChoose clothing that is comfortable for your body. Don’t try to wear clothing that is too big or too small.\\nHave a few key items that you adore. Having a favorite pair of jeans, a beautiful knitted sweater, or a trendy scarf can really help you feel good about how you look.\\nJewelry, belts, scarves, and shoes can really pull an outfit together. If you’re missing that extra touch, try adding an accessory to it.\\n3. Fostering a Joyful Lifestyle\\n3-1. Focus on the positive aspects\\nSure, some of your work may be frustrating or even boring, but pick a few things you love about your job, whether it's interacting with clients or customers, learning new things, or having the opportunity to travel occasionally.\\nIf you’re struggling at work, reframe how you approach your job. Personalize your workspace with pictures or plants. Avoid taking on extra projects if you’re overworked.\\nTake the time to get to know and appreciate the people you work with. You may feel like you have nothing in common, but if you make the extra effort to be friendly, it will make you much more eager to wake up to go to work.\\nAppreciate what your job can do for you. On hard days, remember that your job allows you to put food on the table.\\n3-2. Pursue hobbies and activities that interest you.\\nHobbies and interests outside of work give you something to look forward to. This helps you become a more well-rounded and interesting person. If you don’t have any hobbies currently, you might:\\nDevelop your artistic side. Try your hand at writing a poem, a song, or painting. You don't have to be great at it, but you can have fun in the process.\\nLearn a new language. This will make you feel more cultured and it can help you find a great job.\\nJoin a team sport. Not only will you get a great workout, but you can make amazing friends.\\nTake an evening class. Learn something that you’re interested in, such as coding, woodworking, or ancient mythology.\\n3-3. Set a routine that works for you.\\nA routine allows you to organize your life in a way that make every day activities pass in a breeze. If you feel stressed, hurried, or bored at certain points of your day, try shaking things up. Switch around your routine until you find something that works.\\nDon't rush around in the morning. Give yourself enough time to eat a healthy breakfast and drive to work to arrive a few minutes early. Set your clothes out the night before or pack all of your lunches at the beginning of the week.\\nEven if your day is super-packed, make some time for yourself. Read a book during your lunch break, watch your favorite show before you go to bed, or wake up early enough to meditate.\\nGet plenty of rest. Go to bed and wake up at around the same time every day so your body develops a routine. This can help you feel more rested in the morning.\\n3-4. Try new experiences.\\nExperiences, and not material items, are the key to happiness. Trying new experiences can help you step outside of your comfort zone while giving you many interesting and unique memories.\\nExplore your surroundings and natural environments. Take a hike, go rafting, or try rock climbing.\\nTake a weekend trip, perhaps to a nearby city, mountain, or beach. Set aside 1 week a year for a much bigger trip to see your family or to visit a somewhere new, like New York City or the Grand Canyon.\\nAttend concerts, museum openings, or new movies in your area. This can help develop your mind and expose you to new experiences in your own town.\\n3-5. Create a clean and comfortable living space.\\nFeeling safe, comfortable, and at peace in your own living space can make the difference between being happy and being cooped up. Decorate your home in a way that makes you cheerful or energetic.\\n\\nClean up any clutter. Put away things where they belong, and avoid adding too much furniture to an area. Keeping an open, light room can go a long way in creating a happy space.\\nFilling your home with photos of your loved ones, souvenirs from your favorite vacations, or paintings of your favorite spots can help remind you of what makes you happy.\\nBoost your mood at home by painting your walls light or bright colors, like soft blue, lavender, or yellow.\\n3-6. Make changes if you’re not happy with your routine or lifestyle.\\nIf you’re truly unhappy with an aspect of your life, you may have the power to change it. Take the initiative to move on and start something new.\\nIf you hate your job so much that it is causing stress or anxiety, it may be time to find a new job.\\nMaybe you loved training for marathons for the past decade, but suddenly you dread all of your training runs. Spice things up by finding a new way to work out or spend your time.\\nIf you feel stuck, bored, or isolated in your town, consider moving or take a vacation to somewhere new.\\n4. Establishing a Strong Social Network\\n4-1. Find supportive, positive friends.\\nHaving a network of close friends is one the best ways to become happy with yourself in the long run. Having the right friends can improve your self-esteem, make you feel needed, and boost your self-confidence.\\nTreasure old friendships. Maintain these relationships with frequent visits, emails, phone calls, or skype sessions.\\nIf you've met someone who you really click with, don't be afraid to ask them on a coffee date to see if you can get to know each other better.\\nDump your toxic friends. If you have a friend who makes you feel terrible about yourself or is so negative that they manage to ruin your mood every time you hang out, it may be time to let them go.\\n4-2. Appreciate your family.\\nIn many cases, nobody has done more for you or knows you better than your parents or siblings. Whether you're off at college, living in a different country, or sharing a house with your family members, it's important to be happy with who they are in order to be truly happy being yourself.\\nIf you have a good relationship with your parents, take time to talk to them often, and tell them you love them. Don’t forget to thank them!\\nTreat your siblings well. Even if you sometimes you feel like you and your sibling live on different planets, you still share a common bond of knowing what it's like to grow up in the same place with the same parents.\\nEven if you don’t have a strong relationship with your biological family, you can appreciate those who are like family in your life. Consider who you might consider to be your family, and let them know how you feel.\\n4-3. Participate in your community.\\nFeeling involved in your neighborhood, city, religion, school, or other community group can make you feel like you belong to something bigger. This can help you create long-lasting relationships and find interesting things to do.\\nIntroduce yourself to your neighbors. Your neighbors will not only make you feel involved in where you live, but they could end up being your best friends.\\nAttend town hall meetings, book clubs on your streets, concerts by local musicians, volunteer park clean-up days, or any other events that make you feel involved in local culture or politics.\\nVolunteering can give you a deep sense of fulfillment and help you meet others in your community. Look for organizations and causes you believe in. You might raise money for the homeless or build houses for low-income families.\\n4-4. Foster healthy romantic relationships.\\nRomance can be very fulfilling, but it is important to make sure that your relationships are founded on love, trust, and strong communication. A toxic romantic entanglement can cause significant stress and unhappiness.\\nIf you have a great significant other, communicate openly with each other on a daily basis. Make sure that both partners are fulfilled and satisfied with the relationship.\\nIf you're single and dating lots of people, have fun with it. Going on date after date may get frustrating, but if you stay positive, you're more likely to find the right person.\\nIf you're single and not looking, that's okay too! If you're not at a point in your life where you want to date anyone, be happy with who you are and the decisions you're making.\\n4-5. Learn to forgive.\\nYou won't be able to fully enjoy your relationships if you're holding a grudge or stuck in the past. Learning to forgive the people you love for their past mistakes is the only way to move forward in your relationships.\\nIf someone has really hurt you, try looking at it from their perspective. Your friend may have hurt you with the best intentions, or might not have been thinking clearly.\\nLearn to accept an apology. If your friend, mother, or significant other is truly sincere and sorry about something, learn to accept an apology. Try to move on as best you can.\\nIf you hurt the other person, say you're sorry too.\\nTips\\nDo something that you love at least once a day, whether it be listening to a song that you love, or dancing in your underwear in your bedroom.\\nTry helping others. There is nothing like helping someone else to help improve your self-confidence and to make you realize how lucky you are.\\nDon't compare yourself to other people. This will only make you frustrated. Instead of focusing on what others have, focus on what makes you who you are.\\nWarnings\\nIf you've tried everything and you still feel deeply unhappy with who you are, you may be suffering from depression and should seek professional help.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It’s easy to wish you looked like or acted like someone else, or had the cushy job or great boyfriend that someone else has. No matter who you are, you can learn to be happy and fulfilled with your life. Take time to appreciate your talents and characteristics while forming a healthy body image and self-esteem. Focus on the positive aspects of your job, hobbies, and lifestyle. Fostering strong and close relationships can help you feel more satisfied and confident in your lifestyle.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Loving Who You Are\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify what makes you unique and wonderful.\", \"描述\": \"Recognizing what you love about yourself first will make you much more comfortable in your own skin. Start by making a list of all of the things you love about yourself, whether it's your free spirit, your work ethic, or your shiny hair.\\nFind at least 10 things you like about yourself. Think about your talents, accomplishments, or characteristics.\\nAppreciate what makes you unique. Perhaps you speak four languages, can walk on your hands, or can instantly make new friends. Not everyone can do that, but you can!\\nRedirect negative thoughts into positive ones. For example, instead of thinking “I’m not pretty enough,” say “I look great today!”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice gratitude in your daily life.\", \"描述\": \"Actively giving thanks helps you recognize the wonderful people, things, and opportunities in your life. Make a daily habit of giving thanks to those you love. Appreciate your opportunities, strengths, skills, and blessings.\\nKeep a gratitude journal and write everything that you’re thankful for. You might include your family, friends, home, hobbies, opportunities, or health. Add 1 thing to this journal every day. If you’re feeling upset or down, try reading through the journal to cheer you up.\\nAlways say thank you, whether you're thanking your local barista for an amazing cup of coffee or your father for always being there for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fill your life with laughter.\", \"描述\": \"Always leave some room for laughter in your daily life. No matter how dire your life may seem at a given moment, never forget to take a break to laugh. You'll feel better in both the short-term and the long-term.\\nBe just plain silly. Tell a corny joke, make a bad pun, or just dance around like a fool. Why not?\\nLaugh at your mistakes. This can defuse the situation and help you realize that things aren’t so bad.\\nWatch a comedy or a comedian. This will make you laugh and can cheer you up.\\nBe around people who love to laugh. Laughter is contagious!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Come to terms with your flaws.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence is the key to happiness, but everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Instead of obsessing over your perceived flaws, embrace them. If you want, ask yourself what you can do to improve yourself in this regard.\\nMake a list of things you want to work on. Make manageable goals to improve. If you hate that you’re always forgetting things, try getting a planner or download a calendar app. Set alarms for when you need to do something.\\nLearn to live with some of your flaws. Perhaps you won’t ever get over your clumsiness, but that’s okay! Try to laugh when you stumble or brush it off as though it doesn’t matter.\\nForgive yourself. Let's face it: we've all done something we're less than proud of. Whatever you did, you should recognize that it was wrong and understand why you did it, but after that, it's time to let it go.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating a Healthy Body Image\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify what you love about your body.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling good about your body can go a long way in helping you be happy with who you are. Look at yourself and appreciate your best features.\\nYou may not love everything about your face, but you should be able to pick 1 or 2 things, like your eyes or your lips, that stand out. When you look at yourself, remind yourself how great this part of you looks.\\nRemind yourself what your body is capable of. Try to love your body for its ability to sing, dance, imagine, or jump.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"Exercise can boost your confidence and your mood, even if you’re not looking to lose weight or become stronger. Just working out for 30 minutes 2-3 times a week can increase your energy and confidence. Find what type of workout works for you and stick with it.\\nMindful exercises, like yoga or tai chi, can give you a sense of calm and help you meditate about your body.\\nTeam sports, like soccer or softball, are tons of fun. They add an important social element to your exercise that can help you feel more fulfilled.\\nRunning, biking, swimming, or even just taking a walk can help you clear your mind while helping you become healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat healthy foods\", \"描述\": \"Improving your diet can help your mind and body. Having a good balance between fruits and veggies, proteins, and carbs can help you feel more in tune with your body.\\nFoods high in fiber and omega 3-fatty acids can improve your mood and help you feel happier. These include foods like whole wheat bread, brown rice, fish, green vegetables, and walnuts.\\nCook your own food from scratch instead of buying premade foods. Cooking can help you make healthier decisions, and you'll get more satisfaction from your meal.\\nIt's okay to indulge in the occasional burger or ice cream, but having too many processed or fatty foods will make you feel tired or sluggish.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a wardrobe that makes you look and feel good.\", \"描述\": \"Being happy with what you're wearing can make or break how you feel about your appearance. If your clothes are dirty, don't fit well, or just don't look right, it can affect your mood and self-esteem. Choose a style that reflects your unique personality.\\nChoose clothing that is comfortable for your body. Don’t try to wear clothing that is too big or too small.\\nHave a few key items that you adore. Having a favorite pair of jeans, a beautiful knitted sweater, or a trendy scarf can really help you feel good about how you look.\\nJewelry, belts, scarves, and shoes can really pull an outfit together. If you’re missing that extra touch, try adding an accessory to it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fostering a Joyful Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positive aspects\", \"描述\": \"Sure, some of your work may be frustrating or even boring, but pick a few things you love about your job, whether it's interacting with clients or customers, learning new things, or having the opportunity to travel occasionally.\\nIf you’re struggling at work, reframe how you approach your job. Personalize your workspace with pictures or plants. Avoid taking on extra projects if you’re overworked.\\nTake the time to get to know and appreciate the people you work with. You may feel like you have nothing in common, but if you make the extra effort to be friendly, it will make you much more eager to wake up to go to work.\\nAppreciate what your job can do for you. On hard days, remember that your job allows you to put food on the table.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pursue hobbies and activities that interest you.\", \"描述\": \"Hobbies and interests outside of work give you something to look forward to. This helps you become a more well-rounded and interesting person. If you don’t have any hobbies currently, you might:\\nDevelop your artistic side. Try your hand at writing a poem, a song, or painting. You don't have to be great at it, but you can have fun in the process.\\nLearn a new language. This will make you feel more cultured and it can help you find a great job.\\nJoin a team sport. Not only will you get a great workout, but you can make amazing friends.\\nTake an evening class. Learn something that you’re interested in, such as coding, woodworking, or ancient mythology.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set a routine that works for you.\", \"描述\": \"A routine allows you to organize your life in a way that make every day activities pass in a breeze. If you feel stressed, hurried, or bored at certain points of your day, try shaking things up. Switch around your routine until you find something that works.\\nDon't rush around in the morning. Give yourself enough time to eat a healthy breakfast and drive to work to arrive a few minutes early. Set your clothes out the night before or pack all of your lunches at the beginning of the week.\\nEven if your day is super-packed, make some time for yourself. Read a book during your lunch break, watch your favorite show before you go to bed, or wake up early enough to meditate.\\nGet plenty of rest. Go to bed and wake up at around the same time every day so your body develops a routine. This can help you feel more rested in the morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try new experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Experiences, and not material items, are the key to happiness. Trying new experiences can help you step outside of your comfort zone while giving you many interesting and unique memories.\\nExplore your surroundings and natural environments. Take a hike, go rafting, or try rock climbing.\\nTake a weekend trip, perhaps to a nearby city, mountain, or beach. Set aside 1 week a year for a much bigger trip to see your family or to visit a somewhere new, like New York City or the Grand Canyon.\\nAttend concerts, museum openings, or new movies in your area. This can help develop your mind and expose you to new experiences in your own town.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create a clean and comfortable living space.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling safe, comfortable, and at peace in your own living space can make the difference between being happy and being cooped up. Decorate your home in a way that makes you cheerful or energetic.\\n\\nClean up any clutter. Put away things where they belong, and avoid adding too much furniture to an area. Keeping an open, light room can go a long way in creating a happy space.\\nFilling your home with photos of your loved ones, souvenirs from your favorite vacations, or paintings of your favorite spots can help remind you of what makes you happy.\\nBoost your mood at home by painting your walls light or bright colors, like soft blue, lavender, or yellow.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make changes if you’re not happy with your routine or lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re truly unhappy with an aspect of your life, you may have the power to change it. Take the initiative to move on and start something new.\\nIf you hate your job so much that it is causing stress or anxiety, it may be time to find a new job.\\nMaybe you loved training for marathons for the past decade, but suddenly you dread all of your training runs. Spice things up by finding a new way to work out or spend your time.\\nIf you feel stuck, bored, or isolated in your town, consider moving or take a vacation to somewhere new.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Establishing a Strong Social Network\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find supportive, positive friends.\", \"描述\": \"Having a network of close friends is one the best ways to become happy with yourself in the long run. Having the right friends can improve your self-esteem, make you feel needed, and boost your self-confidence.\\nTreasure old friendships. Maintain these relationships with frequent visits, emails, phone calls, or skype sessions.\\nIf you've met someone who you really click with, don't be afraid to ask them on a coffee date to see if you can get to know each other better.\\nDump your toxic friends. If you have a friend who makes you feel terrible about yourself or is so negative that they manage to ruin your mood every time you hang out, it may be time to let them go.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your family.\", \"描述\": \"In many cases, nobody has done more for you or knows you better than your parents or siblings. Whether you're off at college, living in a different country, or sharing a house with your family members, it's important to be happy with who they are in order to be truly happy being yourself.\\nIf you have a good relationship with your parents, take time to talk to them often, and tell them you love them. Don’t forget to thank them!\\nTreat your siblings well. Even if you sometimes you feel like you and your sibling live on different planets, you still share a common bond of knowing what it's like to grow up in the same place with the same parents.\\nEven if you don’t have a strong relationship with your biological family, you can appreciate those who are like family in your life. Consider who you might consider to be your family, and let them know how you feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Participate in your community.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling involved in your neighborhood, city, religion, school, or other community group can make you feel like you belong to something bigger. This can help you create long-lasting relationships and find interesting things to do.\\nIntroduce yourself to your neighbors. Your neighbors will not only make you feel involved in where you live, but they could end up being your best friends.\\nAttend town hall meetings, book clubs on your streets, concerts by local musicians, volunteer park clean-up days, or any other events that make you feel involved in local culture or politics.\\nVolunteering can give you a deep sense of fulfillment and help you meet others in your community. Look for organizations and causes you believe in. You might raise money for the homeless or build houses for low-income families.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Foster healthy romantic relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Romance can be very fulfilling, but it is important to make sure that your relationships are founded on love, trust, and strong communication. A toxic romantic entanglement can cause significant stress and unhappiness.\\nIf you have a great significant other, communicate openly with each other on a daily basis. Make sure that both partners are fulfilled and satisfied with the relationship.\\nIf you're single and dating lots of people, have fun with it. Going on date after date may get frustrating, but if you stay positive, you're more likely to find the right person.\\nIf you're single and not looking, that's okay too! If you're not at a point in your life where you want to date anyone, be happy with who you are and the decisions you're making.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to forgive.\", \"描述\": \"You won't be able to fully enjoy your relationships if you're holding a grudge or stuck in the past. Learning to forgive the people you love for their past mistakes is the only way to move forward in your relationships.\\nIf someone has really hurt you, try looking at it from their perspective. Your friend may have hurt you with the best intentions, or might not have been thinking clearly.\\nLearn to accept an apology. If your friend, mother, or significant other is truly sincere and sorry about something, learn to accept an apology. Try to move on as best you can.\\nIf you hurt the other person, say you're sorry too.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do something that you love at least once a day, whether it be listening to a song that you love, or dancing in your underwear in your bedroom.\\n\", \"Try helping others. There is nothing like helping someone else to help improve your self-confidence and to make you realize how lucky you are.\\n\", \"Don't compare yourself to other people. This will only make you frustrated. Instead of focusing on what others have, focus on what makes you who you are.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you've tried everything and you still feel deeply unhappy with who you are, you may be suffering from depression and should seek professional help.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,800 | How to Be Happy Even Your Life Is Turned Upside Down | 1. Steps
1-1. Accept the fact that no one can bring your past back to you or send you back into your the past.
You cannot change what has been done. It can be very hard to forget the past, but by making a considered decision to put it behind you, you free yourself up to start thinking about deliberately creating a new beginning for your life.
When bad times roll around, a lot of people lean on reactive emotions. Instead, try facing adversity with a proactive or active mindset.
1-2. Choose to trust the world once again.
Think how beautiful life is and how wonderful it is that you've had the opportunity to be part of consciousness. Tell yourself that things are going to move forward and that you will build a happy life again. Much is yet to be discovered, and the way you were following previously has clearly turned out to be an unfulfilling one, so use this as a chance to change direction. There is much in the world which you have not encountered yet and a lot of that is bound to hold forms of happiness for you.
1-3. Do not make a decision that the world is against you.
It may feel that way but the world is benign and cares neither that you succeed or don't succeed. It is up to you to take back the reins of where your life is headed and regain your sense of control and power. Tell yourself: You have the full right to live happily: that right is yours, no person in the whole world can take that right from you. You are the master of your own life, treat yourself the best.
1-4. Travel.
It is most probable that there are many places in the world that you have not been yet, too many people you have not met yet. It is very possible that you find the the person of your dreams or the teacher you seek is somewhere out there. Seeing how others live or simply survive can be eye-opening and life-changing.
1-5. Get closer to your family.
Share your feelings, worries and hopes with your family. Accept the fact that life and family come but once, do not miss your chances. Show your affection to your family and receive their affection with gratitude and love.
1-6. Help other people.
There is nothing quite like helping others to take you out of your self absorption and losses. Seek to be part of something important, give your time, skills and knowledge through volunteer work, giving to charity or mentoring others. Maybe the thing that turned your life upside down is something you can teach others about and help them avoid a similar situation or learn how to cope better should it happen to them too. Happiness is often found in giving of your time, knowledge and help to other people, charities, nature, animals, etc.
1-7. Be the greater person.
It's likely that when your world turned upside down, other people were seemingly at the helm of your misfortune. Bosses, lovers, spouses, the financial gurus, whoever the people are who were part of the mess you ended up in, are people you need to let go of. By forgiving others and not hating the people who have acted badly toward you, you stop carrying them in your mind. You release your ties to them and allow yourself to pursue a new pathway, free of their expectations, callousness, thoughtlessness or whatever else motivated their behavior. You are free to start over; in many cases, through your forgiveness, it'll be those people who remain stuck, not you. Leave your own anger and resentment behind.
When things get tough, you can define who you are as a person and how you're going to get through everything.
1-8. Change your environment.
Avoid people who annoy you, socialize with good people who give you respect.
1-9. Be confident.
Do the things that make you feel happy and confident. This might be wearing nice clothes, visiting friends, spending time doing a hobby, etc. The world keeps turning whether you choose to mope or get back up again, so choose the latter and begin the journey of restoring your confidence. Realize it'll probably take time, maybe even years, but it's your journey and the sooner you begin on it again, the more likely it is that you'll rediscover happiness along the way.
With the right attitude, you can create a situation where adversity becomes your strength. In fact, adversity can be a tool that helps you motivate and inspire other people.
Tips
Keep a diary or journal. Every night, write what ever you have done in the day or try to write short stories, make it your own fantasy world, and learn to admire your own work.
Always smile even if you don't feel like smiling. It can help you to personally feel better than giving in to the blues. Yes, it is a struggle to overcome feeling down but that's what human beings are very capable of doing well––identify feelings and make decisions to do something about them.
Make lots of friends, avoid bullies. Bullies are hurting so much that they can not only hurt you with their barbs but can also reinforce the emptiness and futility you may be feeling about life in general. They need to find their own pathway to solving their own issues, you don't need them getting you down while you do this.
Warnings
Do not trust everyone in order to make more friends.
Do not take drugs or do something wrong in order to be happy, they do not make you happy and could cause you harm and danger.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Accept the fact that no one can bring your past back to you or send you back into your the past.\\nYou cannot change what has been done. It can be very hard to forget the past, but by making a considered decision to put it behind you, you free yourself up to start thinking about deliberately creating a new beginning for your life.\\nWhen bad times roll around, a lot of people lean on reactive emotions. Instead, try facing adversity with a proactive or active mindset.\\n1-2. Choose to trust the world once again.\\nThink how beautiful life is and how wonderful it is that you've had the opportunity to be part of consciousness. Tell yourself that things are going to move forward and that you will build a happy life again. Much is yet to be discovered, and the way you were following previously has clearly turned out to be an unfulfilling one, so use this as a chance to change direction. There is much in the world which you have not encountered yet and a lot of that is bound to hold forms of happiness for you.\\n1-3. Do not make a decision that the world is against you.\\nIt may feel that way but the world is benign and cares neither that you succeed or don't succeed. It is up to you to take back the reins of where your life is headed and regain your sense of control and power. Tell yourself: You have the full right to live happily: that right is yours, no person in the whole world can take that right from you. You are the master of your own life, treat yourself the best.\\n1-4. Travel.\\nIt is most probable that there are many places in the world that you have not been yet, too many people you have not met yet. It is very possible that you find the the person of your dreams or the teacher you seek is somewhere out there. Seeing how others live or simply survive can be eye-opening and life-changing.\\n1-5. Get closer to your family.\\nShare your feelings, worries and hopes with your family. Accept the fact that life and family come but once, do not miss your chances. Show your affection to your family and receive their affection with gratitude and love.\\n1-6. Help other people.\\nThere is nothing quite like helping others to take you out of your self absorption and losses. Seek to be part of something important, give your time, skills and knowledge through volunteer work, giving to charity or mentoring others. Maybe the thing that turned your life upside down is something you can teach others about and help them avoid a similar situation or learn how to cope better should it happen to them too. Happiness is often found in giving of your time, knowledge and help to other people, charities, nature, animals, etc.\\n1-7. Be the greater person.\\nIt's likely that when your world turned upside down, other people were seemingly at the helm of your misfortune. Bosses, lovers, spouses, the financial gurus, whoever the people are who were part of the mess you ended up in, are people you need to let go of. By forgiving others and not hating the people who have acted badly toward you, you stop carrying them in your mind. You release your ties to them and allow yourself to pursue a new pathway, free of their expectations, callousness, thoughtlessness or whatever else motivated their behavior. You are free to start over; in many cases, through your forgiveness, it'll be those people who remain stuck, not you. Leave your own anger and resentment behind.\\nWhen things get tough, you can define who you are as a person and how you're going to get through everything.\\n1-8. Change your environment.\\nAvoid people who annoy you, socialize with good people who give you respect.\\n1-9. Be confident.\\nDo the things that make you feel happy and confident. This might be wearing nice clothes, visiting friends, spending time doing a hobby, etc. The world keeps turning whether you choose to mope or get back up again, so choose the latter and begin the journey of restoring your confidence. Realize it'll probably take time, maybe even years, but it's your journey and the sooner you begin on it again, the more likely it is that you'll rediscover happiness along the way.\\nWith the right attitude, you can create a situation where adversity becomes your strength. In fact, adversity can be a tool that helps you motivate and inspire other people.\\nTips\\nKeep a diary or journal. Every night, write what ever you have done in the day or try to write short stories, make it your own fantasy world, and learn to admire your own work.\\nAlways smile even if you don't feel like smiling. It can help you to personally feel better than giving in to the blues. Yes, it is a struggle to overcome feeling down but that's what human beings are very capable of doing well––identify feelings and make decisions to do something about them.\\nMake lots of friends, avoid bullies. Bullies are hurting so much that they can not only hurt you with their barbs but can also reinforce the emptiness and futility you may be feeling about life in general. They need to find their own pathway to solving their own issues, you don't need them getting you down while you do this.\\nWarnings\\nDo not trust everyone in order to make more friends.\\nDo not take drugs or do something wrong in order to be happy, they do not make you happy and could cause you harm and danger.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When it seems as if your whole life has been turned upside down, it can be hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. This is the point at which you choose between giving up and seeing the rest of life as liable to bring more of the same or you decide that, in spite of all that has happened, you will have a better future and you do have control over many aspects of this. The past has happened. There is still much more time ahead to start anew and find new sources of happiness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept the fact that no one can bring your past back to you or send you back into your the past.\", \"描述\": \"You cannot change what has been done. It can be very hard to forget the past, but by making a considered decision to put it behind you, you free yourself up to start thinking about deliberately creating a new beginning for your life.\\nWhen bad times roll around, a lot of people lean on reactive emotions. Instead, try facing adversity with a proactive or active mindset.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose to trust the world once again.\", \"描述\": \"Think how beautiful life is and how wonderful it is that you've had the opportunity to be part of consciousness. Tell yourself that things are going to move forward and that you will build a happy life again. Much is yet to be discovered, and the way you were following previously has clearly turned out to be an unfulfilling one, so use this as a chance to change direction. There is much in the world which you have not encountered yet and a lot of that is bound to hold forms of happiness for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not make a decision that the world is against you.\", \"描述\": \"It may feel that way but the world is benign and cares neither that you succeed or don't succeed. It is up to you to take back the reins of where your life is headed and regain your sense of control and power. Tell yourself: You have the full right to live happily: that right is yours, no person in the whole world can take that right from you. You are the master of your own life, treat yourself the best.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Travel.\", \"描述\": \"It is most probable that there are many places in the world that you have not been yet, too many people you have not met yet. It is very possible that you find the the person of your dreams or the teacher you seek is somewhere out there. Seeing how others live or simply survive can be eye-opening and life-changing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get closer to your family.\", \"描述\": \"Share your feelings, worries and hopes with your family. Accept the fact that life and family come but once, do not miss your chances. Show your affection to your family and receive their affection with gratitude and love.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help other people.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing quite like helping others to take you out of your self absorption and losses. Seek to be part of something important, give your time, skills and knowledge through volunteer work, giving to charity or mentoring others. Maybe the thing that turned your life upside down is something you can teach others about and help them avoid a similar situation or learn how to cope better should it happen to them too. Happiness is often found in giving of your time, knowledge and help to other people, charities, nature, animals, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be the greater person.\", \"描述\": \"It's likely that when your world turned upside down, other people were seemingly at the helm of your misfortune. Bosses, lovers, spouses, the financial gurus, whoever the people are who were part of the mess you ended up in, are people you need to let go of. By forgiving others and not hating the people who have acted badly toward you, you stop carrying them in your mind. You release your ties to them and allow yourself to pursue a new pathway, free of their expectations, callousness, thoughtlessness or whatever else motivated their behavior. You are free to start over; in many cases, through your forgiveness, it'll be those people who remain stuck, not you. Leave your own anger and resentment behind.\\nWhen things get tough, you can define who you are as a person and how you're going to get through everything.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Change your environment.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid people who annoy you, socialize with good people who give you respect.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Do the things that make you feel happy and confident. This might be wearing nice clothes, visiting friends, spending time doing a hobby, etc. The world keeps turning whether you choose to mope or get back up again, so choose the latter and begin the journey of restoring your confidence. Realize it'll probably take time, maybe even years, but it's your journey and the sooner you begin on it again, the more likely it is that you'll rediscover happiness along the way.\\nWith the right attitude, you can create a situation where adversity becomes your strength. In fact, adversity can be a tool that helps you motivate and inspire other people.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Keep a diary or journal. Every night, write what ever you have done in the day or try to write short stories, make it your own fantasy world, and learn to admire your own work.\\n\", \"Always smile even if you don't feel like smiling. It can help you to personally feel better than giving in to the blues. Yes, it is a struggle to overcome feeling down but that's what human beings are very capable of doing well––identify feelings and make decisions to do something about them.\\n\", \"Make lots of friends, avoid bullies. Bullies are hurting so much that they can not only hurt you with their barbs but can also reinforce the emptiness and futility you may be feeling about life in general. They need to find their own pathway to solving their own issues, you don't need them getting you down while you do this.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not trust everyone in order to make more friends.\\n\", \"Do not take drugs or do something wrong in order to be happy, they do not make you happy and could cause you harm and danger.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,801 | How to Be Happy Even when Alone | 1. Learn something new.
Exploring new hobbies keeps your mind active and engaged.
It’s normal to feel a bit empty and restless when you’re lonely. Throwing yourself into interesting new hobbies can help with that! Use your alone time to explore something you've always wanted to do. Consider activities like:
Learning a new language
Gardening
Learning to play an instrument
Arts and crafts projects
2. Create and follow a daily routine.
A set schedule can give you a sense of order and purpose.
Being alone has a way of making people feel a bit lost. Taking a few minutes to create a daily schedule for yourself can help prevent that feeling! Schedule in regular daily activities, like work, exercise, or cooking, as well as hobbies and other pursuits.
Schedule in communication, too, especially if you’re introverted and struggle with that. For example, pencil in a time to call or video chat with a friend.
3. Make a list of things you're grateful for.
It’s easy to focus on the negative when you’re by yourself.
Everyone does this from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. When you feel yourself getting stuck in that negative headspace, make an effort to get yourself out by focusing on the positive things in your life. Grab a pen and some paper and write down an actual list!
You can also try making these lists more often, like at the end the day or week.
4. Limit your time on social media.
Use social media to connect but log out if it feels negative.
Social media is a great way to meet and interact with others, but it has downsides, too. If you notice that you’re using it to compare yourself to others, or if you feel bad about yourself or even lonelier after using social media, it might help to log out more often.
When you're online, focus on meaningful conversations and positive interactions. Try to spend less time mindlessly scrolling.
5. Go for a walk.
A change of scenery can boost your mood and shift your perspective.
If you’re feeling lonely, try to force yourself to get up and go for a brief walk. Just a few minutes outdoors can help you get your mind off things and refresh you.
If negative thoughts start creeping in, gently remind yourself to refocus on your surroundings.
6. Volunteer in your community.
Giving your time and effort to help others eases loneliness.
Everyone likes to feel needed; doing volunteer work is a selfless way for you to fulfill that need while also making a difference in your community. When you’re actively engaged and helping others, it’s hard to feel truly alone. Look into volunteer opportunities like:
Serving food at a soup kitchen
Mentoring a young person in a Big Brother or Big Sister program
Reading to the elderly in nursing homes
Environmental or animal rights activism
7. Explore your feelings in a journal.
Writing down thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of them.
Regular journaling can help you get to know yourself better through self-expression. You can also practice gratitude by keeping track of what you're grateful for in your journal. Take a few minutes each day make note of a few things.
8. Focus on your positive qualities.
Make a list of things that you truly like about yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with appreciating yourself! Take some time to celebrate your good qualities. Reflect on your best traits. You can even add these to your gratitude lists or journal.
For example: "I do an awesome job at work. I'm a valued member of the team."
Or look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I have kind eyes."
If you're having trouble with this, ask a few trusted friends or family members what they think your best qualities are.
9. Exercise more often.
Studies show regular exercise eases loneliness and boosts mood.
We all know exercise makes us physically fit, but did you know it also releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel positive and happy? It’s true! If you feel uncomfortable exercising around other people, start with easy activities you can do by yourself, like running, walking, or biking.
If you don’t mind exercising with others, that may offer even more mood-boosting benefits! Consider trying fitness or yoga classes, or working out in a public gym.
10. Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend.
Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion—you deserve that.
Positive self-talk takes practice, but it's worth it. For example, if you find yourself thinking negative thoughts such as, "Nobody wants to spend time with me," change this thought to something more realistic like, "People love spending time with me, but sometimes they get busy and that's normal."
If you feel like you aren’t doing a good job at work or school, tell yourself something a friend might say like, “Are you serious? You're great at your job!"
If you’re an introvert, keep in mind that that isn’t a flaw! It’s a completely natural and acceptable way to be.
11. Remind yourself that it's okay to be alone.
Remember that being alone and being lonely are different things!
It might not seem like it now, but you can be alone without feeling lonely. Spend some time thinking of reasons why being alone can be a positive thing. You can even make a list and keep it with you! Here are a few examples to get you started:
The freedom to daydream and be introspective
The ability to do things your way without compromising
More time to focus on your health and well-being
More time to practice and develop your skills
12. Explore mindfulness techniques.
Meditation and breathing exercises can help you feel calm and centered.
Mindfulness is about being in the here-and-now, or living in the present moment, appreciating it without dwelling too much in the past or worrying about the future. Studies show that mindfulness techniques can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Consider exploring:
Meditation
Yoga
Deep breathing exercises
13. Focus on quality connections over quantity.
Spend quality time with the people who are important to you.
Focus on connecting and conversing with them instead of doing passive activities like watching television. If you feel secure about the connections in your life, you’re less likely to feel lonely when you’re at home or doing things by yourself.
If it’s been a while, reach out and see how they’re doing! Make plans to catch up soon.
When you’re alone, focus on the positive memories you have with the people you love.
14. Seek professional help if you’re struggling.
Therapy can help you feel heard and understood.
Loneliness can be a symptom of a larger issue like depression. If you find yourself becoming increasing lonely or not being able to tolerate being alone, it may benefit you to seek professional help.
Psychotherapy can be a useful way to understand yourself better.
Contact your medical insurance provider for a list of approved psychologists, therapists, and psychiatrists.
Avoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope with being alone.
Be patient - good things will come.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learn something new.\\nExploring new hobbies keeps your mind active and engaged.\\nIt’s normal to feel a bit empty and restless when you’re lonely. Throwing yourself into interesting new hobbies can help with that! Use your alone time to explore something you've always wanted to do. Consider activities like:\\nLearning a new language\\nGardening\\nLearning to play an instrument\\nArts and crafts projects\\n2. Create and follow a daily routine.\\nA set schedule can give you a sense of order and purpose.\\nBeing alone has a way of making people feel a bit lost. Taking a few minutes to create a daily schedule for yourself can help prevent that feeling! Schedule in regular daily activities, like work, exercise, or cooking, as well as hobbies and other pursuits.\\nSchedule in communication, too, especially if you’re introverted and struggle with that. For example, pencil in a time to call or video chat with a friend.\\n3. Make a list of things you're grateful for.\\nIt’s easy to focus on the negative when you’re by yourself.\\nEveryone does this from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. When you feel yourself getting stuck in that negative headspace, make an effort to get yourself out by focusing on the positive things in your life. Grab a pen and some paper and write down an actual list!\\nYou can also try making these lists more often, like at the end the day or week.\\n4. Limit your time on social media.\\nUse social media to connect but log out if it feels negative.\\nSocial media is a great way to meet and interact with others, but it has downsides, too. If you notice that you’re using it to compare yourself to others, or if you feel bad about yourself or even lonelier after using social media, it might help to log out more often.\\nWhen you're online, focus on meaningful conversations and positive interactions. Try to spend less time mindlessly scrolling.\\n5. Go for a walk.\\nA change of scenery can boost your mood and shift your perspective.\\nIf you’re feeling lonely, try to force yourself to get up and go for a brief walk. Just a few minutes outdoors can help you get your mind off things and refresh you.\\nIf negative thoughts start creeping in, gently remind yourself to refocus on your surroundings.\\n6. Volunteer in your community.\\nGiving your time and effort to help others eases loneliness.\\nEveryone likes to feel needed; doing volunteer work is a selfless way for you to fulfill that need while also making a difference in your community. When you’re actively engaged and helping others, it’s hard to feel truly alone. Look into volunteer opportunities like:\\nServing food at a soup kitchen\\nMentoring a young person in a Big Brother or Big Sister program\\nReading to the elderly in nursing homes\\nEnvironmental or animal rights activism\\n7. Explore your feelings in a journal.\\nWriting down thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of them.\\nRegular journaling can help you get to know yourself better through self-expression. You can also practice gratitude by keeping track of what you're grateful for in your journal. Take a few minutes each day make note of a few things.\\n8. Focus on your positive qualities.\\nMake a list of things that you truly like about yourself.\\nThere’s nothing wrong with appreciating yourself! Take some time to celebrate your good qualities. Reflect on your best traits. You can even add these to your gratitude lists or journal.\\nFor example: \\\"I do an awesome job at work. I'm a valued member of the team.\\\"\\nOr look at yourself in the mirror and say, \\\"I have kind eyes.\\\"\\nIf you're having trouble with this, ask a few trusted friends or family members what they think your best qualities are.\\n9. Exercise more often.\\nStudies show regular exercise eases loneliness and boosts mood.\\nWe all know exercise makes us physically fit, but did you know it also releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel positive and happy? It’s true! If you feel uncomfortable exercising around other people, start with easy activities you can do by yourself, like running, walking, or biking.\\nIf you don’t mind exercising with others, that may offer even more mood-boosting benefits! Consider trying fitness or yoga classes, or working out in a public gym.\\n10. Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend.\\nSpeak to yourself with kindness and compassion—you deserve that.\\nPositive self-talk takes practice, but it's worth it. For example, if you find yourself thinking negative thoughts such as, \\\"Nobody wants to spend time with me,\\\" change this thought to something more realistic like, \\\"People love spending time with me, but sometimes they get busy and that's normal.\\\"\\nIf you feel like you aren’t doing a good job at work or school, tell yourself something a friend might say like, “Are you serious? You're great at your job!\\\"\\nIf you’re an introvert, keep in mind that that isn’t a flaw! It’s a completely natural and acceptable way to be.\\n11. Remind yourself that it's okay to be alone.\\nRemember that being alone and being lonely are different things!\\nIt might not seem like it now, but you can be alone without feeling lonely. Spend some time thinking of reasons why being alone can be a positive thing. You can even make a list and keep it with you! Here are a few examples to get you started:\\nThe freedom to daydream and be introspective\\nThe ability to do things your way without compromising\\nMore time to focus on your health and well-being\\nMore time to practice and develop your skills\\n12. Explore mindfulness techniques.\\nMeditation and breathing exercises can help you feel calm and centered.\\nMindfulness is about being in the here-and-now, or living in the present moment, appreciating it without dwelling too much in the past or worrying about the future. Studies show that mindfulness techniques can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Consider exploring:\\nMeditation\\nYoga\\nDeep breathing exercises\\n13. Focus on quality connections over quantity.\\nSpend quality time with the people who are important to you.\\nFocus on connecting and conversing with them instead of doing passive activities like watching television. If you feel secure about the connections in your life, you’re less likely to feel lonely when you’re at home or doing things by yourself.\\nIf it’s been a while, reach out and see how they’re doing! Make plans to catch up soon.\\nWhen you’re alone, focus on the positive memories you have with the people you love.\\n14. Seek professional help if you’re struggling.\\nTherapy can help you feel heard and understood.\\nLoneliness can be a symptom of a larger issue like depression. If you find yourself becoming increasing lonely or not being able to tolerate being alone, it may benefit you to seek professional help.\\nPsychotherapy can be a useful way to understand yourself better.\\nContact your medical insurance provider for a list of approved psychologists, therapists, and psychiatrists.\\nAvoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope with being alone.\\nBe patient - good things will come.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We all have trouble being alone from time to time. Whether we're single, living alone, or simply having a tough time tolerating being by ourselves, it can be a challenge to feel happy if you're lonely. In this article, we'll walk you through a variety of useful strategies for staying positive and living your best life when you're on your own.\\n\\nHere are 14 tips and tricks to help you feel happy even when you’re alone.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn something new.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exploring new hobbies keeps your mind active and engaged.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal to feel a bit empty and restless when you’re lonely. Throwing yourself into interesting new hobbies can help with that! Use your alone time to explore something you've always wanted to do. Consider activities like:\\nLearning a new language\\nGardening\\nLearning to play an instrument\\nArts and crafts projects\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create and follow a daily routine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A set schedule can give you a sense of order and purpose.\", \"描述\": \"Being alone has a way of making people feel a bit lost. Taking a few minutes to create a daily schedule for yourself can help prevent that feeling! Schedule in regular daily activities, like work, exercise, or cooking, as well as hobbies and other pursuits.\\nSchedule in communication, too, especially if you’re introverted and struggle with that. For example, pencil in a time to call or video chat with a friend.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a list of things you're grateful for.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s easy to focus on the negative when you’re by yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone does this from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. When you feel yourself getting stuck in that negative headspace, make an effort to get yourself out by focusing on the positive things in your life. Grab a pen and some paper and write down an actual list!\\nYou can also try making these lists more often, like at the end the day or week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Limit your time on social media.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use social media to connect but log out if it feels negative.\", \"描述\": \"Social media is a great way to meet and interact with others, but it has downsides, too. If you notice that you’re using it to compare yourself to others, or if you feel bad about yourself or even lonelier after using social media, it might help to log out more often.\\nWhen you're online, focus on meaningful conversations and positive interactions. Try to spend less time mindlessly scrolling.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go for a walk.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A change of scenery can boost your mood and shift your perspective.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re feeling lonely, try to force yourself to get up and go for a brief walk. Just a few minutes outdoors can help you get your mind off things and refresh you.\\nIf negative thoughts start creeping in, gently remind yourself to refocus on your surroundings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Volunteer in your community.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving your time and effort to help others eases loneliness.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone likes to feel needed; doing volunteer work is a selfless way for you to fulfill that need while also making a difference in your community. When you’re actively engaged and helping others, it’s hard to feel truly alone. Look into volunteer opportunities like:\\nServing food at a soup kitchen\\nMentoring a young person in a Big Brother or Big Sister program\\nReading to the elderly in nursing homes\\nEnvironmental or animal rights activism\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Explore your feelings in a journal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Writing down thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of them.\", \"描述\": \"Regular journaling can help you get to know yourself better through self-expression. You can also practice gratitude by keeping track of what you're grateful for in your journal. Take a few minutes each day make note of a few things.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Focus on your positive qualities.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of things that you truly like about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing wrong with appreciating yourself! Take some time to celebrate your good qualities. Reflect on your best traits. You can even add these to your gratitude lists or journal.\\nFor example: \\\"I do an awesome job at work. I'm a valued member of the team.\\\"\\nOr look at yourself in the mirror and say, \\\"I have kind eyes.\\\"\\nIf you're having trouble with this, ask a few trusted friends or family members what they think your best qualities are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Exercise more often.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Studies show regular exercise eases loneliness and boosts mood.\", \"描述\": \"We all know exercise makes us physically fit, but did you know it also releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel positive and happy? It’s true! If you feel uncomfortable exercising around other people, start with easy activities you can do by yourself, like running, walking, or biking.\\nIf you don’t mind exercising with others, that may offer even more mood-boosting benefits! Consider trying fitness or yoga classes, or working out in a public gym.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion—you deserve that.\", \"描述\": \"Positive self-talk takes practice, but it's worth it. For example, if you find yourself thinking negative thoughts such as, \\\"Nobody wants to spend time with me,\\\" change this thought to something more realistic like, \\\"People love spending time with me, but sometimes they get busy and that's normal.\\\"\\nIf you feel like you aren’t doing a good job at work or school, tell yourself something a friend might say like, “Are you serious? You're great at your job!\\\"\\nIf you’re an introvert, keep in mind that that isn’t a flaw! It’s a completely natural and acceptable way to be.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself that it's okay to be alone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that being alone and being lonely are different things!\", \"描述\": \"It might not seem like it now, but you can be alone without feeling lonely. Spend some time thinking of reasons why being alone can be a positive thing. You can even make a list and keep it with you! Here are a few examples to get you started:\\nThe freedom to daydream and be introspective\\nThe ability to do things your way without compromising\\nMore time to focus on your health and well-being\\nMore time to practice and develop your skills\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Explore mindfulness techniques.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meditation and breathing exercises can help you feel calm and centered.\", \"描述\": \"Mindfulness is about being in the here-and-now, or living in the present moment, appreciating it without dwelling too much in the past or worrying about the future. Studies show that mindfulness techniques can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Consider exploring:\\nMeditation\\nYoga\\nDeep breathing exercises\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Focus on quality connections over quantity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend quality time with the people who are important to you.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on connecting and conversing with them instead of doing passive activities like watching television. If you feel secure about the connections in your life, you’re less likely to feel lonely when you’re at home or doing things by yourself.\\nIf it’s been a while, reach out and see how they’re doing! Make plans to catch up soon.\\nWhen you’re alone, focus on the positive memories you have with the people you love.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Seek professional help if you’re struggling.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Therapy can help you feel heard and understood.\", \"描述\": \"Loneliness can be a symptom of a larger issue like depression. If you find yourself becoming increasing lonely or not being able to tolerate being alone, it may benefit you to seek professional help.\\nPsychotherapy can be a useful way to understand yourself better.\\nContact your medical insurance provider for a list of approved psychologists, therapists, and psychiatrists.\\nAvoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope with being alone.\\nBe patient - good things will come.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,802 | How to Be Happy Every Day | 1. Getting to Know Yourself
1-1. Acknowledge your emotions.
Being happy every day does not mean that you will be happy every moment. That is impossible and unrealistic. Instead, aim to become a person who is well-rounded emotionally. Once you are comfortable feeling a range of emotions, you will be better able to get in touch with how to be happy.
Self-validation is the process of acknowledging your feelings and reactions. It is healthy to understand that everyone has a range of emotions, and it is normal to express them.
Don't put pressure on yourself to feel happy all the time. Instead, if you are feeling down about missing out on a big promotion, acknowledge that that is a normal reaction. Give yourself permission to feel. Then you can move on.
1-2. Figure out what makes you happy.
Sometimes the things that make you happy are pretty obvious. For example, you probably know that you enjoy having a day off from work. But you'll have to dig a little deeper to get beyond the surface of what makes you happy. Spend some time reflecting on what truly brings you joy.
One way to go about this is to think about your purpose. People who are fulfilled often report being happier.
Ask yourself questions such as, "What excites me? What am I passionate about? How would I like to be remembered?"
1-3. Be aware of what makes you stressed.
Similarly, the process of getting to know yourself better should include spending some time thinking about things that do not make you happy. Again, some might be simple and obvious. For instance, no one likes being stuck in traffic. But take time to reflect on pieces of your life that might be significantly impacting your happiness.
Make a list of the stressful components of your life. Often, putting things in writing can help us get a more clear view of the situation.
Is your job stressing you out? Write down some specifics, such as "I feel stressed because my boss does not seem to value me."
1-4. Keep a journal.
Journaling is one of the most effective ways to get to know yourself better and become more in touch with your emotions. Try writing in a journal each day. You can record not only your activities, but also your thoughts and feelings.
Once a week, take time to read through your journal entries and reflect. You can begin to see patterns in the things that are making you feel happier.
Journaling has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. This alone can lead to more happiness each day.
1-5. Take a break.
It can be easy to focus on all of the tasks that need to be done on a daily basis, rather than focusing on yourself and your feelings. Try taking multiple short breaks throughout the day. Taking a break from work will give you time to check in with yourself and see how you're feeling.
Every hour, give yourself a break of about 5 minutes. You can go get a drink of water, stretch, or just zone out for a few minutes.
Taking a break is good for your mind and body. While you stretch, daydream about something fun you would like to do after work. This is an excellent mood boost.
1-6. Accept yourself for who you are.
One of the keys to being happy to is to practice self-acceptance. While we all have changes we would like to make, it's important to remember to also appreciate ourselves for who we are.
Recognize that acceptance is not the same as resignation. You can learn to accept the things you cannot change without giving up on your goals.
Make it a point to appreciate something about yourself each day. You could devote part of your daily journal entry to writing down one good thing about yourself, such as your work ethic.
2. Making Lifestyle Changes
2-1. Change your environment.
Do you feel like you've been in a funk? Or maybe everything is going ok, but you wish your mood was a little better each day? You might just need to make some small changes. If you change your surroundings, your mood can change, too. Change doesn't always have to be scary.
Some environmental changes can be significant. For example, if you and your partner are constantly fighting about closet space, a bigger apartment might be the key to a more positive outlook.
Changing your environment can also be small. Try picking up some fresh flowers for your living room each week. Glancing at them daily might give you the small lift you've been looking for.
2-2. Go out for lunch.
Studies indicate that well over half of working Americans eat lunch at their desks. Or worse, some people skip the mid-day meal altogether. Working through lunch can actually lead to higher levels of stress and lower productivity. So get away from your desk and grab some food.
You don't have to go to a restaurant or cafeteria to go "out" to eat. You just need to change your location. Try eating in a break room. If it's a nice day, take your sack lunch outside.
Do something you enjoy. Your lunch break should actually be a break. If you're eating with coworkers, try to avoid talking about work. Instead, talk about your weekend plans. Or flip through a magazine.
2-3. Surround yourself with positive people.
Good moods can be contagious. Likewise, so can negativity. If you want to feel happier, try spending more time with people who seem content. Look for family members, friends, or coworkers with a smile, and choose to try to spend more time with those people.
Spend time with people who are encouraging, positive, and who enrich your life. For example, if you have a friend who regularly encourages you to try something new, try to spend more time with her.
Try to add these types of people to your daily routine. For example, if there are two coffee shops near your office, frequent the one that has the friendlier barista.
2-4. Change jobs.
For many people, work takes up a significant percentage of your time. And many people admit that they aren't happy with their jobs. Sometimes, you might feel like your job is boring, or stressful, or just tiring. If it is feasible, consider a career change if you feel like your job is impeding your happiness.
Make a list of your priorities. What is most important to you in a career? Is it salary? Flexible hours? A positive team environment?
Spend some time figuring out what you would like to do. Then formulate an action plan. Feeling like you are taking control of this part of your life can go a long way towards making you feel happy every day.
Try not to quit before you have a formal offer from another employer. If you have a significant amount of savings you may want to quit before you find a new job, though it is usually easier to get another job if you are already employed.
2-5. Try a new activity.
It's possible that you are unhappy because you are in a bit of a rut. When people are bored, they typically are not feeling very upbeat. If you regularly try new things, you can alleviate boredom and increase your happiness. Trying new things also gives you the opportunity to find something new to enjoy.
Have you always wanted to learn to play tennis? Sign up for lessons. Not only will you be trying a new activity, but you'll also be learning something new. Studies show learning can lead to increased happiness.
If you love to read, try joining a book club. You'll likely read a book you wouldn't have chosen and you'll get to meet people with similar interests.
2-6. Adopt healthy habits.
Your physical health is directly connected to your mental health. In order to increase your happiness, you should consider adding some healthy habits to your lifestyle. For example, exercise can be a great mood booster.
Exercise releases endorphins, which elevate your mood. Try to get 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week.
You can break exercise into blocks. Even 10 minutes of physical activity can make you feel great. Try taking a brisk walk around the block at lunchtime.
Get plenty of rest. Many people feel cranky or sluggish if they are missing out on sleep. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night.
2-7. Add new foods to your diet.
Good news! Chocolate can elevate your mood. Research shows that there are multiple chemical compounds in chocolate that activate your brain's pleasure centers. For example, the phenylethylamine in chocolate is also known as the "love drug" because it produces the same effect as being around someone who you love.
Try eating a small amount of dark chocolate each day. An ounce is an appropriate serving.
Eat clams. Clams have a high amount of vitamin B12, which fights depression. Other foods high in B12 are salmon and beef.
Eat walnuts. These nuts contain alpha-linolenic acid, which helps fight depression. Add walnuts to your oatmeal, or try making your own nut butter.
2-8. Increase physical contact.
There is an important relationship between touch and mood. The more you touch (or are touched) by others, the more content and safe you will likely feel. If you are in a relationship, hug your partner more. Aim for 10 hugs a day. You will both feel happier.
Have more sex. Sex, like other physical activities, releases endorphins. It will also help increase your bond with your partner.
If you are not in an intimate relationship, you can still add more physical contact to your life. Make it a point to shake hands when you meet new people, or when you congratulate a co-worker on a project well done.
2-9. Get a pet.
Having a dog or cat as a companion can help you feel happy. Pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Having an animal also causes you to exhibit more playfulness and laughter.
Choose an animal that works with your lifestyle. For example, if you live in a small apartment, consider getting a cat or a small dog.
Adopt an animal from a rescue society. You'll feel good knowing that you are helping a creature in need.
3. Having a Positive Attitude
3-1. Practice self-care.
Self-care essentially means doing something in service of yourself. It can be giving yourself a break, physically, or taking a mental time-out. Self-care has proven to make people feel better, have less stress, and function at a more productive level.
Take a few minutes for self-care each day. Take some time to take a relaxing bubble bath, or treat yourself to reading a chapter of a great book.
Check in with yourself. Ask, "Am I taking on too much? Do I need to take a break?" If the answer is yes, allow yourself to take a guilt-free timeout.
3-2. Be kind to yourself.
Self-criticism is normal. When your brain is at rest (or stressed) you automatically start thinking about problems you need to solve or tasks you need to finish. If you can learn to silence your inner critic, you will likely find increased happiness.
Practice positive affirmations. Take a moment each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive. Try, "Smile today. You have a great smile, and it's contagious."
Make a list of your positive attributes. When you're feeling down, look at this list for a mood boost.
3-3. Cultivate relationships.
Make your personal relationships a priority. Your relationships are key to your emotional well-being. Take care to spend time with your friends and family and to have open communication with the people you love.
Schedule time for friends and family the same way that you schedule other appointments. This will ensure that you are making your relationships a priority and that you have time to enjoy your life.
3-4. Express gratitude.
Take some time each day to appreciate the good things in your life. It does not need to be the same thing each day. You can choose something significant, or relatively minor. But adding more appreciation to your life it a key to happiness.
Try choosing one big thing and one small thing to be thankful for each day. You could say, "I'm grateful that my children are healthy." Later, you could say, "I'm grateful that I treated myself to some ice cream today."
Tips
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Be polite. It will not make you happy if you are rude. If you are, you may have mean comments given to you. Not fun.
Remember to treat yourself well! You will not feel happy if you don't brush your hair, or if you don't take showers.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Yourself\\n1-1. Acknowledge your emotions.\\nBeing happy every day does not mean that you will be happy every moment. That is impossible and unrealistic. Instead, aim to become a person who is well-rounded emotionally. Once you are comfortable feeling a range of emotions, you will be better able to get in touch with how to be happy.\\nSelf-validation is the process of acknowledging your feelings and reactions. It is healthy to understand that everyone has a range of emotions, and it is normal to express them.\\nDon't put pressure on yourself to feel happy all the time. Instead, if you are feeling down about missing out on a big promotion, acknowledge that that is a normal reaction. Give yourself permission to feel. Then you can move on.\\n1-2. Figure out what makes you happy.\\nSometimes the things that make you happy are pretty obvious. For example, you probably know that you enjoy having a day off from work. But you'll have to dig a little deeper to get beyond the surface of what makes you happy. Spend some time reflecting on what truly brings you joy.\\nOne way to go about this is to think about your purpose. People who are fulfilled often report being happier.\\nAsk yourself questions such as, \\\"What excites me? What am I passionate about? How would I like to be remembered?\\\"\\n1-3. Be aware of what makes you stressed.\\nSimilarly, the process of getting to know yourself better should include spending some time thinking about things that do not make you happy. Again, some might be simple and obvious. For instance, no one likes being stuck in traffic. But take time to reflect on pieces of your life that might be significantly impacting your happiness.\\nMake a list of the stressful components of your life. Often, putting things in writing can help us get a more clear view of the situation.\\nIs your job stressing you out? Write down some specifics, such as \\\"I feel stressed because my boss does not seem to value me.\\\"\\n1-4. Keep a journal.\\nJournaling is one of the most effective ways to get to know yourself better and become more in touch with your emotions. Try writing in a journal each day. You can record not only your activities, but also your thoughts and feelings.\\nOnce a week, take time to read through your journal entries and reflect. You can begin to see patterns in the things that are making you feel happier.\\nJournaling has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. This alone can lead to more happiness each day.\\n1-5. Take a break.\\nIt can be easy to focus on all of the tasks that need to be done on a daily basis, rather than focusing on yourself and your feelings. Try taking multiple short breaks throughout the day. Taking a break from work will give you time to check in with yourself and see how you're feeling. \\nEvery hour, give yourself a break of about 5 minutes. You can go get a drink of water, stretch, or just zone out for a few minutes.\\nTaking a break is good for your mind and body. While you stretch, daydream about something fun you would like to do after work. This is an excellent mood boost.\\n1-6. Accept yourself for who you are.\\nOne of the keys to being happy to is to practice self-acceptance. While we all have changes we would like to make, it's important to remember to also appreciate ourselves for who we are. \\nRecognize that acceptance is not the same as resignation. You can learn to accept the things you cannot change without giving up on your goals.\\nMake it a point to appreciate something about yourself each day. You could devote part of your daily journal entry to writing down one good thing about yourself, such as your work ethic.\\n2. Making Lifestyle Changes\\n2-1. Change your environment.\\nDo you feel like you've been in a funk? Or maybe everything is going ok, but you wish your mood was a little better each day? You might just need to make some small changes. If you change your surroundings, your mood can change, too. Change doesn't always have to be scary.\\nSome environmental changes can be significant. For example, if you and your partner are constantly fighting about closet space, a bigger apartment might be the key to a more positive outlook.\\nChanging your environment can also be small. Try picking up some fresh flowers for your living room each week. Glancing at them daily might give you the small lift you've been looking for.\\n2-2. Go out for lunch.\\nStudies indicate that well over half of working Americans eat lunch at their desks. Or worse, some people skip the mid-day meal altogether. Working through lunch can actually lead to higher levels of stress and lower productivity. So get away from your desk and grab some food.\\nYou don't have to go to a restaurant or cafeteria to go \\\"out\\\" to eat. You just need to change your location. Try eating in a break room. If it's a nice day, take your sack lunch outside.\\nDo something you enjoy. Your lunch break should actually be a break. If you're eating with coworkers, try to avoid talking about work. Instead, talk about your weekend plans. Or flip through a magazine.\\n2-3. Surround yourself with positive people.\\nGood moods can be contagious. Likewise, so can negativity. If you want to feel happier, try spending more time with people who seem content. Look for family members, friends, or coworkers with a smile, and choose to try to spend more time with those people.\\nSpend time with people who are encouraging, positive, and who enrich your life. For example, if you have a friend who regularly encourages you to try something new, try to spend more time with her.\\nTry to add these types of people to your daily routine. For example, if there are two coffee shops near your office, frequent the one that has the friendlier barista.\\n2-4. Change jobs.\\nFor many people, work takes up a significant percentage of your time. And many people admit that they aren't happy with their jobs. Sometimes, you might feel like your job is boring, or stressful, or just tiring. If it is feasible, consider a career change if you feel like your job is impeding your happiness.\\nMake a list of your priorities. What is most important to you in a career? Is it salary? Flexible hours? A positive team environment?\\nSpend some time figuring out what you would like to do. Then formulate an action plan. Feeling like you are taking control of this part of your life can go a long way towards making you feel happy every day.\\nTry not to quit before you have a formal offer from another employer. If you have a significant amount of savings you may want to quit before you find a new job, though it is usually easier to get another job if you are already employed.\\n2-5. Try a new activity.\\nIt's possible that you are unhappy because you are in a bit of a rut. When people are bored, they typically are not feeling very upbeat. If you regularly try new things, you can alleviate boredom and increase your happiness. Trying new things also gives you the opportunity to find something new to enjoy.\\nHave you always wanted to learn to play tennis? Sign up for lessons. Not only will you be trying a new activity, but you'll also be learning something new. Studies show learning can lead to increased happiness.\\nIf you love to read, try joining a book club. You'll likely read a book you wouldn't have chosen and you'll get to meet people with similar interests.\\n2-6. Adopt healthy habits.\\nYour physical health is directly connected to your mental health. In order to increase your happiness, you should consider adding some healthy habits to your lifestyle. For example, exercise can be a great mood booster. \\nExercise releases endorphins, which elevate your mood. Try to get 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week.\\nYou can break exercise into blocks. Even 10 minutes of physical activity can make you feel great. Try taking a brisk walk around the block at lunchtime.\\nGet plenty of rest. Many people feel cranky or sluggish if they are missing out on sleep. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night.\\n2-7. Add new foods to your diet.\\nGood news! Chocolate can elevate your mood. Research shows that there are multiple chemical compounds in chocolate that activate your brain's pleasure centers. For example, the phenylethylamine in chocolate is also known as the \\\"love drug\\\" because it produces the same effect as being around someone who you love.\\nTry eating a small amount of dark chocolate each day. An ounce is an appropriate serving.\\nEat clams. Clams have a high amount of vitamin B12, which fights depression. Other foods high in B12 are salmon and beef.\\nEat walnuts. These nuts contain alpha-linolenic acid, which helps fight depression. Add walnuts to your oatmeal, or try making your own nut butter.\\n2-8. Increase physical contact.\\nThere is an important relationship between touch and mood. The more you touch (or are touched) by others, the more content and safe you will likely feel. If you are in a relationship, hug your partner more. Aim for 10 hugs a day. You will both feel happier.\\nHave more sex. Sex, like other physical activities, releases endorphins. It will also help increase your bond with your partner.\\nIf you are not in an intimate relationship, you can still add more physical contact to your life. Make it a point to shake hands when you meet new people, or when you congratulate a co-worker on a project well done.\\n2-9. Get a pet.\\nHaving a dog or cat as a companion can help you feel happy. Pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Having an animal also causes you to exhibit more playfulness and laughter.\\nChoose an animal that works with your lifestyle. For example, if you live in a small apartment, consider getting a cat or a small dog.\\nAdopt an animal from a rescue society. You'll feel good knowing that you are helping a creature in need.\\n3. Having a Positive Attitude\\n3-1. Practice self-care.\\nSelf-care essentially means doing something in service of yourself. It can be giving yourself a break, physically, or taking a mental time-out. Self-care has proven to make people feel better, have less stress, and function at a more productive level.\\nTake a few minutes for self-care each day. Take some time to take a relaxing bubble bath, or treat yourself to reading a chapter of a great book.\\nCheck in with yourself. Ask, \\\"Am I taking on too much? Do I need to take a break?\\\" If the answer is yes, allow yourself to take a guilt-free timeout.\\n3-2. Be kind to yourself.\\nSelf-criticism is normal. When your brain is at rest (or stressed) you automatically start thinking about problems you need to solve or tasks you need to finish. If you can learn to silence your inner critic, you will likely find increased happiness.\\nPractice positive affirmations. Take a moment each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive. Try, \\\"Smile today. You have a great smile, and it's contagious.\\\"\\nMake a list of your positive attributes. When you're feeling down, look at this list for a mood boost.\\n3-3. Cultivate relationships.\\nMake your personal relationships a priority. Your relationships are key to your emotional well-being. Take care to spend time with your friends and family and to have open communication with the people you love.\\nSchedule time for friends and family the same way that you schedule other appointments. This will ensure that you are making your relationships a priority and that you have time to enjoy your life.\\n3-4. Express gratitude.\\nTake some time each day to appreciate the good things in your life. It does not need to be the same thing each day. You can choose something significant, or relatively minor. But adding more appreciation to your life it a key to happiness.\\nTry choosing one big thing and one small thing to be thankful for each day. You could say, \\\"I'm grateful that my children are healthy.\\\" Later, you could say, \\\"I'm grateful that I treated myself to some ice cream today.\\\"\\nTips\\nDon't sweat the small stuff.\\nBe polite. It will not make you happy if you are rude. If you are, you may have mean comments given to you. Not fun.\\nRemember to treat yourself well! You will not feel happy if you don't brush your hair, or if you don't take showers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many benefits to being happy. You will feel less stress, more mental clarity, and you'll have an overall greater sense of joy. There are also many physical benefits of happiness, such as lower blood pressure and overall better physical fitness. Some people might seem to be naturally happier than others, but everyone can add some joy to their lives. Whether you are looking for a major change or just hoping to smile more, there are a lot of things to do to maximize your happiness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Being happy every day does not mean that you will be happy every moment. That is impossible and unrealistic. Instead, aim to become a person who is well-rounded emotionally. Once you are comfortable feeling a range of emotions, you will be better able to get in touch with how to be happy.\\nSelf-validation is the process of acknowledging your feelings and reactions. It is healthy to understand that everyone has a range of emotions, and it is normal to express them.\\nDon't put pressure on yourself to feel happy all the time. Instead, if you are feeling down about missing out on a big promotion, acknowledge that that is a normal reaction. Give yourself permission to feel. Then you can move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Figure out what makes you happy.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the things that make you happy are pretty obvious. For example, you probably know that you enjoy having a day off from work. But you'll have to dig a little deeper to get beyond the surface of what makes you happy. Spend some time reflecting on what truly brings you joy.\\nOne way to go about this is to think about your purpose. People who are fulfilled often report being happier.\\nAsk yourself questions such as, \\\"What excites me? What am I passionate about? How would I like to be remembered?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware of what makes you stressed.\", \"描述\": \"Similarly, the process of getting to know yourself better should include spending some time thinking about things that do not make you happy. Again, some might be simple and obvious. For instance, no one likes being stuck in traffic. But take time to reflect on pieces of your life that might be significantly impacting your happiness.\\nMake a list of the stressful components of your life. Often, putting things in writing can help us get a more clear view of the situation.\\nIs your job stressing you out? Write down some specifics, such as \\\"I feel stressed because my boss does not seem to value me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal.\", \"描述\": \"Journaling is one of the most effective ways to get to know yourself better and become more in touch with your emotions. Try writing in a journal each day. You can record not only your activities, but also your thoughts and feelings.\\nOnce a week, take time to read through your journal entries and reflect. You can begin to see patterns in the things that are making you feel happier.\\nJournaling has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. This alone can lead to more happiness each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take a break.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to focus on all of the tasks that need to be done on a daily basis, rather than focusing on yourself and your feelings. Try taking multiple short breaks throughout the day. Taking a break from work will give you time to check in with yourself and see how you're feeling. \\nEvery hour, give yourself a break of about 5 minutes. You can go get a drink of water, stretch, or just zone out for a few minutes.\\nTaking a break is good for your mind and body. While you stretch, daydream about something fun you would like to do after work. This is an excellent mood boost.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accept yourself for who you are.\", \"描述\": \"One of the keys to being happy to is to practice self-acceptance. While we all have changes we would like to make, it's important to remember to also appreciate ourselves for who we are. \\nRecognize that acceptance is not the same as resignation. You can learn to accept the things you cannot change without giving up on your goals.\\nMake it a point to appreciate something about yourself each day. You could devote part of your daily journal entry to writing down one good thing about yourself, such as your work ethic.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Lifestyle Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change your environment.\", \"描述\": \"Do you feel like you've been in a funk? Or maybe everything is going ok, but you wish your mood was a little better each day? You might just need to make some small changes. If you change your surroundings, your mood can change, too. Change doesn't always have to be scary.\\nSome environmental changes can be significant. For example, if you and your partner are constantly fighting about closet space, a bigger apartment might be the key to a more positive outlook.\\nChanging your environment can also be small. Try picking up some fresh flowers for your living room each week. Glancing at them daily might give you the small lift you've been looking for.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go out for lunch.\", \"描述\": \"Studies indicate that well over half of working Americans eat lunch at their desks. Or worse, some people skip the mid-day meal altogether. Working through lunch can actually lead to higher levels of stress and lower productivity. So get away from your desk and grab some food.\\nYou don't have to go to a restaurant or cafeteria to go \\\"out\\\" to eat. You just need to change your location. Try eating in a break room. If it's a nice day, take your sack lunch outside.\\nDo something you enjoy. Your lunch break should actually be a break. If you're eating with coworkers, try to avoid talking about work. Instead, talk about your weekend plans. Or flip through a magazine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with positive people.\", \"描述\": \"Good moods can be contagious. Likewise, so can negativity. If you want to feel happier, try spending more time with people who seem content. Look for family members, friends, or coworkers with a smile, and choose to try to spend more time with those people.\\nSpend time with people who are encouraging, positive, and who enrich your life. For example, if you have a friend who regularly encourages you to try something new, try to spend more time with her.\\nTry to add these types of people to your daily routine. For example, if there are two coffee shops near your office, frequent the one that has the friendlier barista.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Change jobs.\", \"描述\": \"For many people, work takes up a significant percentage of your time. And many people admit that they aren't happy with their jobs. Sometimes, you might feel like your job is boring, or stressful, or just tiring. If it is feasible, consider a career change if you feel like your job is impeding your happiness.\\nMake a list of your priorities. What is most important to you in a career? Is it salary? Flexible hours? A positive team environment?\\nSpend some time figuring out what you would like to do. Then formulate an action plan. Feeling like you are taking control of this part of your life can go a long way towards making you feel happy every day.\\nTry not to quit before you have a formal offer from another employer. If you have a significant amount of savings you may want to quit before you find a new job, though it is usually easier to get another job if you are already employed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try a new activity.\", \"描述\": \"It's possible that you are unhappy because you are in a bit of a rut. When people are bored, they typically are not feeling very upbeat. If you regularly try new things, you can alleviate boredom and increase your happiness. Trying new things also gives you the opportunity to find something new to enjoy.\\nHave you always wanted to learn to play tennis? Sign up for lessons. Not only will you be trying a new activity, but you'll also be learning something new. Studies show learning can lead to increased happiness.\\nIf you love to read, try joining a book club. You'll likely read a book you wouldn't have chosen and you'll get to meet people with similar interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Adopt healthy habits.\", \"描述\": \"Your physical health is directly connected to your mental health. In order to increase your happiness, you should consider adding some healthy habits to your lifestyle. For example, exercise can be a great mood booster. \\nExercise releases endorphins, which elevate your mood. Try to get 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week.\\nYou can break exercise into blocks. Even 10 minutes of physical activity can make you feel great. Try taking a brisk walk around the block at lunchtime.\\nGet plenty of rest. Many people feel cranky or sluggish if they are missing out on sleep. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Add new foods to your diet.\", \"描述\": \"Good news! Chocolate can elevate your mood. Research shows that there are multiple chemical compounds in chocolate that activate your brain's pleasure centers. For example, the phenylethylamine in chocolate is also known as the \\\"love drug\\\" because it produces the same effect as being around someone who you love.\\nTry eating a small amount of dark chocolate each day. An ounce is an appropriate serving.\\nEat clams. Clams have a high amount of vitamin B12, which fights depression. Other foods high in B12 are salmon and beef.\\nEat walnuts. These nuts contain alpha-linolenic acid, which helps fight depression. Add walnuts to your oatmeal, or try making your own nut butter.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Increase physical contact.\", \"描述\": \"There is an important relationship between touch and mood. The more you touch (or are touched) by others, the more content and safe you will likely feel. If you are in a relationship, hug your partner more. Aim for 10 hugs a day. You will both feel happier.\\nHave more sex. Sex, like other physical activities, releases endorphins. It will also help increase your bond with your partner.\\nIf you are not in an intimate relationship, you can still add more physical contact to your life. Make it a point to shake hands when you meet new people, or when you congratulate a co-worker on a project well done.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get a pet.\", \"描述\": \"Having a dog or cat as a companion can help you feel happy. Pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Having an animal also causes you to exhibit more playfulness and laughter.\\nChoose an animal that works with your lifestyle. For example, if you live in a small apartment, consider getting a cat or a small dog.\\nAdopt an animal from a rescue society. You'll feel good knowing that you are helping a creature in need.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having a Positive Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice self-care.\", \"描述\": \"Self-care essentially means doing something in service of yourself. It can be giving yourself a break, physically, or taking a mental time-out. Self-care has proven to make people feel better, have less stress, and function at a more productive level.\\nTake a few minutes for self-care each day. Take some time to take a relaxing bubble bath, or treat yourself to reading a chapter of a great book.\\nCheck in with yourself. Ask, \\\"Am I taking on too much? Do I need to take a break?\\\" If the answer is yes, allow yourself to take a guilt-free timeout.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Self-criticism is normal. When your brain is at rest (or stressed) you automatically start thinking about problems you need to solve or tasks you need to finish. If you can learn to silence your inner critic, you will likely find increased happiness.\\nPractice positive affirmations. Take a moment each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something positive. Try, \\\"Smile today. You have a great smile, and it's contagious.\\\"\\nMake a list of your positive attributes. When you're feeling down, look at this list for a mood boost.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cultivate relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Make your personal relationships a priority. Your relationships are key to your emotional well-being. Take care to spend time with your friends and family and to have open communication with the people you love.\\nSchedule time for friends and family the same way that you schedule other appointments. This will ensure that you are making your relationships a priority and that you have time to enjoy your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time each day to appreciate the good things in your life. It does not need to be the same thing each day. You can choose something significant, or relatively minor. But adding more appreciation to your life it a key to happiness.\\nTry choosing one big thing and one small thing to be thankful for each day. You could say, \\\"I'm grateful that my children are healthy.\\\" Later, you could say, \\\"I'm grateful that I treated myself to some ice cream today.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't sweat the small stuff.\\n\", \"Be polite. It will not make you happy if you are rude. If you are, you may have mean comments given to you. Not fun.\\n\", \"Remember to treat yourself well! You will not feel happy if you don't brush your hair, or if you don't take showers.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,803 | How to Be Happy Go Lucky | 1. Maintaining a Happy Go Lucky Attitude
1-1. Live in the moment.
While maintaining a certain level of control over your life is important for maintaining a positive state of mind, you should also try to live more in the moment. This means letting go of things you cannot control and embracing spontaneity. Living in the moment can add an element of excitement and engagement in your life that you may have been missing.
One way to live more in the moment is to create a bucket list of five to ten things you have always wanted to do and set a timeline for doing them. Keep the items reasonable, as you want them to be things you can achieve. Your list may have things like “traveling solo for a month” or “competing in the slam poetry competition at school”. Focus on things you can achieve and then pursue them.
1-2. Focus on the positives, even in a challenging situation.
You should also try to develop a habit of looking on the bright side of things. Though it’s important to acknowledge that bad things happen, you do not need to negative to take over your life. Instead, focus on the positives. Ask yourself, “Is the situation really as negative as I think it is?” and “Can I look at this situation in a more positive way?”
It may also help you to view bad situations as part of a learning experience, where you can gain insight into yourself or into others. Thinking about what you can learn, rather than shutting down or freaking out, can allow you to approach the situation positively.
1-3. Embrace positive affirmations.
To boost your sense of happiness, you can start your day with one to two positive affirmations. These affirmations could be simple "I" statements about something you are happy about or grateful for, as well as statements about positive things you intend to do that day. For example, you may look in the mirror in the morning and say, "I am powerful and strong" or "I am going to do exciting things today."
You may also want to put up inspirational posters and visuals that contain positive messages in your living space or your work space. This way, you can look at these messages when you are having a low point in your day or struggling to be happy go lucky as a reminder to stay positive.
1-4. Value your time and use it in positive ways.
Valuing your time means not spending time on people or activities that are going to suck away your energy and zest for life. Surrounding yourself with positive influences will help you maintain a more positive outlook. Avoid wasting time on negative things or activities that may be harmful to your happiness. Instead, use your time to cultivate positivity and joy.
You may want to think about individuals around you who tend to bring negativity into your life and try to distance yourself from them. You may seek out individuals who have a sense of contentment and confidence and spend more time with them instead.
You can also devote more of your time to activities that will allow you to feel good about yourself, from exercising more to doing hobbies you enjoy. Using your time for positive things will help you maintain a happy go lucky attitude.
2. Taking Care of Yourself
2-1. Maintain a healthy diet
Your sense of happiness is directly influenced by how well you take care of your body. Eating a healthy nutritious diet will ensure you feel energized for the day and your body is feeling at its best. Your diet should be balanced, with good sources of protein, carbohydrates, and dairy as well as fruits and vegetables.
You should create a meal plan and go shopping every week for fresh produce. Try to stick to the items on your grocery list so you are not tempted to get unhealthy foods.
If you have a hard time going grocery shopping every week due to your busy schedule, you should opt for the healthy option when you go out to eat. Look for an option that contains vegetables and healthy sources of protein, such as tofu or lean meats.
2-2. Sweat at least 30 minutes to one hour a day.
Set aside time in your schedule to work up a sweat for at least 30 minutes to one hour a day. Exercise helps to create endorphins and contribute to a more positive outlook on life. Working out will allow you to release any stress or anxiety you may be struggling with and feel refreshed by the end of your run, jog, or exercise class.
You may have an exercise class you enjoy doing on a daily basis or several times a week. Or you may prefer to run or jog for exercise. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you let yourself sweat on a consistent basis to boost your mood and stay healthy.
2-3. Spend time outside at least 15 minutes a day.
Try to fit in some outside time to your routine, whether this is a short walk in a green space near the office or a walk in the sun on a nice day. Exposure to sunlight, and Vitamin D, can help to boost your mood and your health. Studies have shown that spending time in green spaces, with lots of plants and natural beauty, can also improve your outlook and your mood.
2-4. Keep a regular sleep schedule
Research has shown that not getting enough sleep every night can lead to mood swings, depression, and disease. You should aim to get at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Create a sleep schedule where you go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time, as this will help keep your body balanced and make it easier for you to get a full night of rest.
If you decide to nap, try to nap after 3 pm and for no longer than 30 minutes. Short naps should not affect your sleep schedule as long as they are 30 minutes or less.
2-5. Meditate at least five to ten minutes a day.
Meditation has been shown to have positive effects on your mindset and increase your sense of peace. Take five to ten minutes out of your day to sit in a quiet, secluded spot and do meditation. This can allow you to work through any stress or anxiety you may be feeling.
Close your eyes and breath deeply in and out of your mouth. Focus on calming your mind and inner peace. You can play soothing music in the background to help you stay focused and relaxed.
2-6. Pursue a new hobby or skill.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to try fencing or rowing, or you have always been meaning to get better at pottery or painting. Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or perfect an existing hobby. Often, trying something new can be motivating and inspiring. Enlist a friend to take a class in a new skill with you or pursue the hobby on your own.
You may want to pursue a new hobby or skill as a way to achieve a life goal. Striving for a specific goal or mission can give you aspirations and lead to greater happiness. Goals also give you a sense of purpose and bolsters your self esteem.
You may ask yourself a few questions to help you find a new hobby or skill, such as, “What gets me excited and engaged?” “What have I always wanted to try in life?”
3. Forming Healthy Relationships
3-1. Maintain close relationships with at least five individuals.
National surveys have shown that maintaining relationships with at least five people that are close and fulfilling can lead to a greater sense of personal happiness.
You may count your romantic partner as one of these five people, as well as close family members. The idea is the stronger your ties are to other people, the happier you are. Healthy interpersonal relationships enrich your life and help improve the quality of your life. Having good relationships also gives you a sense of support when you are feeling down and a way to relieve stress or anxiety through spending time with those you care about.
You may want to sit down and write out five people in your life that you are closest to. This could be friends, family, partners, spouses, etc. You should then consider how you can strengthen your relationships with these five individuals even more. Maybe you haven’t spoken to one friend in months or you have neglected your relationship with your partner. Make an effort to reconnect with that individual and stay connected.
3-2. Offer assistance to friends or family in need.
Being there for friends and family can also improve your mood and your quality of life. If you have a friend who is feeling down, reach out to them and try to cheer them up.
This could be something as simple as dropping by for a visit or going out for a coffee. If a family member is ill, bring them healthy food or medicine. Making an effort to be kinder and considerate to others can in turn help you feel better about your life.
3-3. Show gratitude and appreciation to those close to you.
Do this by expressing a sense of wonder and thankfulness towards people who support you in your life. Every day, to think of at least one thing for which you are grateful. This could be the fact that your partner makes coffee for you in the morning or the fact that your morning commute is shorter that day. Displaying gratitude and appreciation will help you maintain a happy go lucky attitude.
When you have an ungrateful thought, try to replace it with a grateful one. For example, you may think, “My boyfriend forgot our anniversary,” but then you might remind yourself, “My boyfriend took me out for dinner last year and he has a lot on his plate right now.”
4. Addressing Issues or Problems in Your Life
4-1. Think of any issues or problems that may be making you unhappy.
Sometimes, it can difficult to feel happy go lucky when you are experiencing negative feelings due to a specific issue or problem. One way to feel better is to address this issue and try to resolve it so you can move forward. You may want to sit down and consider what might be bringing you down or bothering you. Once you address the issue, you can then brainstorm ways to resolve it.
For example, you may feel depressed due to losing your job. Once you acknowledge that this is the issue that is making you unhappy, you may be motivated to apply for other positions. You may also take some time to consider if you would be happier in a different career or in a different position. The lay off may be blessing in disguise and allow you to pursue a career you have always wanted.
4-2. Write negative thoughts down in a journal.
If you struggle with negative thoughts on a daily basis, you may want to try writing them down rather than keeping them inside. Try to make journaling a daily practice, done at night before bed or in the morning before you get ready for the day. Writing your thoughts down can be cathartic and allow you to release emotions you may be struggling with.
4-3. Speak to friends or family about your issues.
You may also want to reach out to your support network and share your thoughts with friends or family. Sharing your feelings and emotions can be a healthy way to process them and address them.
Avoid complaining or whining about your issues on a constant basis, as this will just place your negativity on those around you. Instead, try to talk one on one to friends or family and ask for advice about an issue you may be having. Practice active listening and show the person you are paying attention to what they are saying. Make the discussion feel more like a conversation, rather than a rant session.
4-4. Talk to a professional.
If your issues or problems are really getting in the way of your happiness, you may want to talk to a therapist or a counselor. Talking to a professional can help you work through your issues and feel supported as you try to maintain a more positive outlook on life. Getting help from a therapist or counselor will often open the door to healing and happiness.
You can talk to your primary care doctor and get a referral for a therapist or seek out a therapist through a friend or relative who goes to good therapist.
You can also speak to a counselor at your school or in your workplace to help you work through your issues and get one step closer to a happy go lucky attitude.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Maintaining a Happy Go Lucky Attitude\\n1-1. Live in the moment.\\nWhile maintaining a certain level of control over your life is important for maintaining a positive state of mind, you should also try to live more in the moment. This means letting go of things you cannot control and embracing spontaneity. Living in the moment can add an element of excitement and engagement in your life that you may have been missing.\\nOne way to live more in the moment is to create a bucket list of five to ten things you have always wanted to do and set a timeline for doing them. Keep the items reasonable, as you want them to be things you can achieve. Your list may have things like “traveling solo for a month” or “competing in the slam poetry competition at school”. Focus on things you can achieve and then pursue them.\\n1-2. Focus on the positives, even in a challenging situation.\\nYou should also try to develop a habit of looking on the bright side of things. Though it’s important to acknowledge that bad things happen, you do not need to negative to take over your life. Instead, focus on the positives. Ask yourself, “Is the situation really as negative as I think it is?” and “Can I look at this situation in a more positive way?”\\nIt may also help you to view bad situations as part of a learning experience, where you can gain insight into yourself or into others. Thinking about what you can learn, rather than shutting down or freaking out, can allow you to approach the situation positively.\\n1-3. Embrace positive affirmations.\\nTo boost your sense of happiness, you can start your day with one to two positive affirmations. These affirmations could be simple \\\"I\\\" statements about something you are happy about or grateful for, as well as statements about positive things you intend to do that day. For example, you may look in the mirror in the morning and say, \\\"I am powerful and strong\\\" or \\\"I am going to do exciting things today.\\\"\\nYou may also want to put up inspirational posters and visuals that contain positive messages in your living space or your work space. This way, you can look at these messages when you are having a low point in your day or struggling to be happy go lucky as a reminder to stay positive.\\n1-4. Value your time and use it in positive ways.\\nValuing your time means not spending time on people or activities that are going to suck away your energy and zest for life. Surrounding yourself with positive influences will help you maintain a more positive outlook. Avoid wasting time on negative things or activities that may be harmful to your happiness. Instead, use your time to cultivate positivity and joy.\\nYou may want to think about individuals around you who tend to bring negativity into your life and try to distance yourself from them. You may seek out individuals who have a sense of contentment and confidence and spend more time with them instead.\\nYou can also devote more of your time to activities that will allow you to feel good about yourself, from exercising more to doing hobbies you enjoy. Using your time for positive things will help you maintain a happy go lucky attitude.\\n2. Taking Care of Yourself\\n2-1. Maintain a healthy diet\\nYour sense of happiness is directly influenced by how well you take care of your body. Eating a healthy nutritious diet will ensure you feel energized for the day and your body is feeling at its best. Your diet should be balanced, with good sources of protein, carbohydrates, and dairy as well as fruits and vegetables.\\nYou should create a meal plan and go shopping every week for fresh produce. Try to stick to the items on your grocery list so you are not tempted to get unhealthy foods.\\nIf you have a hard time going grocery shopping every week due to your busy schedule, you should opt for the healthy option when you go out to eat. Look for an option that contains vegetables and healthy sources of protein, such as tofu or lean meats.\\n2-2. Sweat at least 30 minutes to one hour a day.\\nSet aside time in your schedule to work up a sweat for at least 30 minutes to one hour a day. Exercise helps to create endorphins and contribute to a more positive outlook on life. Working out will allow you to release any stress or anxiety you may be struggling with and feel refreshed by the end of your run, jog, or exercise class.\\nYou may have an exercise class you enjoy doing on a daily basis or several times a week. Or you may prefer to run or jog for exercise. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you let yourself sweat on a consistent basis to boost your mood and stay healthy.\\n2-3. Spend time outside at least 15 minutes a day.\\nTry to fit in some outside time to your routine, whether this is a short walk in a green space near the office or a walk in the sun on a nice day. Exposure to sunlight, and Vitamin D, can help to boost your mood and your health. Studies have shown that spending time in green spaces, with lots of plants and natural beauty, can also improve your outlook and your mood.\\n2-4. Keep a regular sleep schedule\\nResearch has shown that not getting enough sleep every night can lead to mood swings, depression, and disease. You should aim to get at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Create a sleep schedule where you go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time, as this will help keep your body balanced and make it easier for you to get a full night of rest. \\nIf you decide to nap, try to nap after 3 pm and for no longer than 30 minutes. Short naps should not affect your sleep schedule as long as they are 30 minutes or less.\\n2-5. Meditate at least five to ten minutes a day.\\nMeditation has been shown to have positive effects on your mindset and increase your sense of peace. Take five to ten minutes out of your day to sit in a quiet, secluded spot and do meditation. This can allow you to work through any stress or anxiety you may be feeling.\\nClose your eyes and breath deeply in and out of your mouth. Focus on calming your mind and inner peace. You can play soothing music in the background to help you stay focused and relaxed.\\n2-6. Pursue a new hobby or skill.\\nMaybe you’ve always wanted to try fencing or rowing, or you have always been meaning to get better at pottery or painting. Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or perfect an existing hobby. Often, trying something new can be motivating and inspiring. Enlist a friend to take a class in a new skill with you or pursue the hobby on your own.\\nYou may want to pursue a new hobby or skill as a way to achieve a life goal. Striving for a specific goal or mission can give you aspirations and lead to greater happiness. Goals also give you a sense of purpose and bolsters your self esteem.\\nYou may ask yourself a few questions to help you find a new hobby or skill, such as, “What gets me excited and engaged?” “What have I always wanted to try in life?”\\n3. Forming Healthy Relationships\\n3-1. Maintain close relationships with at least five individuals.\\nNational surveys have shown that maintaining relationships with at least five people that are close and fulfilling can lead to a greater sense of personal happiness.\\nYou may count your romantic partner as one of these five people, as well as close family members. The idea is the stronger your ties are to other people, the happier you are. Healthy interpersonal relationships enrich your life and help improve the quality of your life. Having good relationships also gives you a sense of support when you are feeling down and a way to relieve stress or anxiety through spending time with those you care about.\\nYou may want to sit down and write out five people in your life that you are closest to. This could be friends, family, partners, spouses, etc. You should then consider how you can strengthen your relationships with these five individuals even more. Maybe you haven’t spoken to one friend in months or you have neglected your relationship with your partner. Make an effort to reconnect with that individual and stay connected.\\n3-2. Offer assistance to friends or family in need.\\nBeing there for friends and family can also improve your mood and your quality of life. If you have a friend who is feeling down, reach out to them and try to cheer them up.\\nThis could be something as simple as dropping by for a visit or going out for a coffee. If a family member is ill, bring them healthy food or medicine. Making an effort to be kinder and considerate to others can in turn help you feel better about your life.\\n3-3. Show gratitude and appreciation to those close to you.\\nDo this by expressing a sense of wonder and thankfulness towards people who support you in your life. Every day, to think of at least one thing for which you are grateful. This could be the fact that your partner makes coffee for you in the morning or the fact that your morning commute is shorter that day. Displaying gratitude and appreciation will help you maintain a happy go lucky attitude.\\nWhen you have an ungrateful thought, try to replace it with a grateful one. For example, you may think, “My boyfriend forgot our anniversary,” but then you might remind yourself, “My boyfriend took me out for dinner last year and he has a lot on his plate right now.”\\n4. Addressing Issues or Problems in Your Life\\n4-1. Think of any issues or problems that may be making you unhappy.\\nSometimes, it can difficult to feel happy go lucky when you are experiencing negative feelings due to a specific issue or problem. One way to feel better is to address this issue and try to resolve it so you can move forward. You may want to sit down and consider what might be bringing you down or bothering you. Once you address the issue, you can then brainstorm ways to resolve it.\\nFor example, you may feel depressed due to losing your job. Once you acknowledge that this is the issue that is making you unhappy, you may be motivated to apply for other positions. You may also take some time to consider if you would be happier in a different career or in a different position. The lay off may be blessing in disguise and allow you to pursue a career you have always wanted.\\n4-2. Write negative thoughts down in a journal.\\nIf you struggle with negative thoughts on a daily basis, you may want to try writing them down rather than keeping them inside. Try to make journaling a daily practice, done at night before bed or in the morning before you get ready for the day. Writing your thoughts down can be cathartic and allow you to release emotions you may be struggling with.\\n4-3. Speak to friends or family about your issues.\\nYou may also want to reach out to your support network and share your thoughts with friends or family. Sharing your feelings and emotions can be a healthy way to process them and address them.\\nAvoid complaining or whining about your issues on a constant basis, as this will just place your negativity on those around you. Instead, try to talk one on one to friends or family and ask for advice about an issue you may be having. Practice active listening and show the person you are paying attention to what they are saying. Make the discussion feel more like a conversation, rather than a rant session.\\n4-4. Talk to a professional.\\nIf your issues or problems are really getting in the way of your happiness, you may want to talk to a therapist or a counselor. Talking to a professional can help you work through your issues and feel supported as you try to maintain a more positive outlook on life. Getting help from a therapist or counselor will often open the door to healing and happiness.\\nYou can talk to your primary care doctor and get a referral for a therapist or seek out a therapist through a friend or relative who goes to good therapist.\\nYou can also speak to a counselor at your school or in your workplace to help you work through your issues and get one step closer to a happy go lucky attitude.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you sick of feeling down and ready to feel more positive and upbeat? Maybe you are struggling to feel happy go lucky due to personal issues or problems that you have been avoiding or have not addressed. Happiness comes from making positive life choices, and is not necessarily attached to having material objects or wealth. Often, you can cultivate a more positive outlook in life by taking care of yourself and by treating others around you well.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintaining a Happy Go Lucky Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Live in the moment.\", \"描述\": \"While maintaining a certain level of control over your life is important for maintaining a positive state of mind, you should also try to live more in the moment. This means letting go of things you cannot control and embracing spontaneity. Living in the moment can add an element of excitement and engagement in your life that you may have been missing.\\nOne way to live more in the moment is to create a bucket list of five to ten things you have always wanted to do and set a timeline for doing them. Keep the items reasonable, as you want them to be things you can achieve. Your list may have things like “traveling solo for a month” or “competing in the slam poetry competition at school”. Focus on things you can achieve and then pursue them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positives, even in a challenging situation.\", \"描述\": \"You should also try to develop a habit of looking on the bright side of things. Though it’s important to acknowledge that bad things happen, you do not need to negative to take over your life. Instead, focus on the positives. Ask yourself, “Is the situation really as negative as I think it is?” and “Can I look at this situation in a more positive way?”\\nIt may also help you to view bad situations as part of a learning experience, where you can gain insight into yourself or into others. Thinking about what you can learn, rather than shutting down or freaking out, can allow you to approach the situation positively.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace positive affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"To boost your sense of happiness, you can start your day with one to two positive affirmations. These affirmations could be simple \\\"I\\\" statements about something you are happy about or grateful for, as well as statements about positive things you intend to do that day. For example, you may look in the mirror in the morning and say, \\\"I am powerful and strong\\\" or \\\"I am going to do exciting things today.\\\"\\nYou may also want to put up inspirational posters and visuals that contain positive messages in your living space or your work space. This way, you can look at these messages when you are having a low point in your day or struggling to be happy go lucky as a reminder to stay positive.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Value your time and use it in positive ways.\", \"描述\": \"Valuing your time means not spending time on people or activities that are going to suck away your energy and zest for life. Surrounding yourself with positive influences will help you maintain a more positive outlook. Avoid wasting time on negative things or activities that may be harmful to your happiness. Instead, use your time to cultivate positivity and joy.\\nYou may want to think about individuals around you who tend to bring negativity into your life and try to distance yourself from them. You may seek out individuals who have a sense of contentment and confidence and spend more time with them instead.\\nYou can also devote more of your time to activities that will allow you to feel good about yourself, from exercising more to doing hobbies you enjoy. Using your time for positive things will help you maintain a happy go lucky attitude.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain a healthy diet\", \"描述\": \"Your sense of happiness is directly influenced by how well you take care of your body. Eating a healthy nutritious diet will ensure you feel energized for the day and your body is feeling at its best. Your diet should be balanced, with good sources of protein, carbohydrates, and dairy as well as fruits and vegetables.\\nYou should create a meal plan and go shopping every week for fresh produce. Try to stick to the items on your grocery list so you are not tempted to get unhealthy foods.\\nIf you have a hard time going grocery shopping every week due to your busy schedule, you should opt for the healthy option when you go out to eat. Look for an option that contains vegetables and healthy sources of protein, such as tofu or lean meats.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sweat at least 30 minutes to one hour a day.\", \"描述\": \"Set aside time in your schedule to work up a sweat for at least 30 minutes to one hour a day. Exercise helps to create endorphins and contribute to a more positive outlook on life. Working out will allow you to release any stress or anxiety you may be struggling with and feel refreshed by the end of your run, jog, or exercise class.\\nYou may have an exercise class you enjoy doing on a daily basis or several times a week. Or you may prefer to run or jog for exercise. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you let yourself sweat on a consistent basis to boost your mood and stay healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time outside at least 15 minutes a day.\", \"描述\": \"Try to fit in some outside time to your routine, whether this is a short walk in a green space near the office or a walk in the sun on a nice day. Exposure to sunlight, and Vitamin D, can help to boost your mood and your health. Studies have shown that spending time in green spaces, with lots of plants and natural beauty, can also improve your outlook and your mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a regular sleep schedule\", \"描述\": \"Research has shown that not getting enough sleep every night can lead to mood swings, depression, and disease. You should aim to get at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Create a sleep schedule where you go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time, as this will help keep your body balanced and make it easier for you to get a full night of rest. \\nIf you decide to nap, try to nap after 3 pm and for no longer than 30 minutes. Short naps should not affect your sleep schedule as long as they are 30 minutes or less.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meditate at least five to ten minutes a day.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation has been shown to have positive effects on your mindset and increase your sense of peace. Take five to ten minutes out of your day to sit in a quiet, secluded spot and do meditation. This can allow you to work through any stress or anxiety you may be feeling.\\nClose your eyes and breath deeply in and out of your mouth. Focus on calming your mind and inner peace. You can play soothing music in the background to help you stay focused and relaxed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pursue a new hobby or skill.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you’ve always wanted to try fencing or rowing, or you have always been meaning to get better at pottery or painting. Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or perfect an existing hobby. Often, trying something new can be motivating and inspiring. Enlist a friend to take a class in a new skill with you or pursue the hobby on your own.\\nYou may want to pursue a new hobby or skill as a way to achieve a life goal. Striving for a specific goal or mission can give you aspirations and lead to greater happiness. Goals also give you a sense of purpose and bolsters your self esteem.\\nYou may ask yourself a few questions to help you find a new hobby or skill, such as, “What gets me excited and engaged?” “What have I always wanted to try in life?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forming Healthy Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain close relationships with at least five individuals.\", \"描述\": \"National surveys have shown that maintaining relationships with at least five people that are close and fulfilling can lead to a greater sense of personal happiness.\\nYou may count your romantic partner as one of these five people, as well as close family members. The idea is the stronger your ties are to other people, the happier you are. Healthy interpersonal relationships enrich your life and help improve the quality of your life. Having good relationships also gives you a sense of support when you are feeling down and a way to relieve stress or anxiety through spending time with those you care about.\\nYou may want to sit down and write out five people in your life that you are closest to. This could be friends, family, partners, spouses, etc. You should then consider how you can strengthen your relationships with these five individuals even more. Maybe you haven’t spoken to one friend in months or you have neglected your relationship with your partner. Make an effort to reconnect with that individual and stay connected.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer assistance to friends or family in need.\", \"描述\": \"Being there for friends and family can also improve your mood and your quality of life. If you have a friend who is feeling down, reach out to them and try to cheer them up.\\nThis could be something as simple as dropping by for a visit or going out for a coffee. If a family member is ill, bring them healthy food or medicine. Making an effort to be kinder and considerate to others can in turn help you feel better about your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show gratitude and appreciation to those close to you.\", \"描述\": \"Do this by expressing a sense of wonder and thankfulness towards people who support you in your life. Every day, to think of at least one thing for which you are grateful. This could be the fact that your partner makes coffee for you in the morning or the fact that your morning commute is shorter that day. Displaying gratitude and appreciation will help you maintain a happy go lucky attitude.\\nWhen you have an ungrateful thought, try to replace it with a grateful one. For example, you may think, “My boyfriend forgot our anniversary,” but then you might remind yourself, “My boyfriend took me out for dinner last year and he has a lot on his plate right now.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Addressing Issues or Problems in Your Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think of any issues or problems that may be making you unhappy.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, it can difficult to feel happy go lucky when you are experiencing negative feelings due to a specific issue or problem. One way to feel better is to address this issue and try to resolve it so you can move forward. You may want to sit down and consider what might be bringing you down or bothering you. Once you address the issue, you can then brainstorm ways to resolve it.\\nFor example, you may feel depressed due to losing your job. Once you acknowledge that this is the issue that is making you unhappy, you may be motivated to apply for other positions. You may also take some time to consider if you would be happier in a different career or in a different position. The lay off may be blessing in disguise and allow you to pursue a career you have always wanted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write negative thoughts down in a journal.\", \"描述\": \"If you struggle with negative thoughts on a daily basis, you may want to try writing them down rather than keeping them inside. Try to make journaling a daily practice, done at night before bed or in the morning before you get ready for the day. Writing your thoughts down can be cathartic and allow you to release emotions you may be struggling with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak to friends or family about your issues.\", \"描述\": \"You may also want to reach out to your support network and share your thoughts with friends or family. Sharing your feelings and emotions can be a healthy way to process them and address them.\\nAvoid complaining or whining about your issues on a constant basis, as this will just place your negativity on those around you. Instead, try to talk one on one to friends or family and ask for advice about an issue you may be having. Practice active listening and show the person you are paying attention to what they are saying. Make the discussion feel more like a conversation, rather than a rant session.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to a professional.\", \"描述\": \"If your issues or problems are really getting in the way of your happiness, you may want to talk to a therapist or a counselor. Talking to a professional can help you work through your issues and feel supported as you try to maintain a more positive outlook on life. Getting help from a therapist or counselor will often open the door to healing and happiness.\\nYou can talk to your primary care doctor and get a referral for a therapist or seek out a therapist through a friend or relative who goes to good therapist.\\nYou can also speak to a counselor at your school or in your workplace to help you work through your issues and get one step closer to a happy go lucky attitude.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,804 | How to Be Happy When You're Sick | 1. Steps
1-1. Take a warm, relaxing bath
Baths wash away dirt and grime, and they also help you feel better when you're sick. The steamy warmth that makes congestion feel better. Try a nice bubble bath!
1-2. Rest.
You can take a nap in a familiar, comfortable place like your bed, or make a special "Get Better Bed" in a place that's fun and different. Just do something quiet so your body can focus on fighting germs.
1-3. Drink.
Clear liquids are fluids you can see through. (like water or an electrolyte solution similar to Gatorade and Pedialyte,) They flush germs from the body when you drink them. Try for a cup or so every hour.
1-4. Snuggle up with a blanket and watch your favorite movie, or try a new movie.
Time passes easily when you are enjoying the storyline, and prevents boredom.
1-5. Build a blanket fort to lay in and hang a sign that says Happiness Hangout ~ No Germs Welcome.
This is comfy, and also helps put you in the right state of mind.
1-6. Have an older sibling or an adult keep you company, and play cards or do puzzles together.
There are many free websites that have game ideas if you want to learn a new game.
1-7. Relax
You don't need to do any chores or homework. Just have fun resting. When you are worried about doing things you 'should' be doing, it may distract you from the body's work to getting well.
1-8. Enjoy some fresh air outdoors, if the weather allows.
Look at scenery, breathe the fresh air, or do anything else you like to do when outside. Be careful not to overdo it, though
Tips
If you set a timer to ring every 30 minutes, it will remind you to drink fluids often. You should choose things that will help your immune system fight the illness you have, and water is a great choice.
Warnings
Do not jump around or be super-active. The body is busy fighting germs, and lots of activity makes it harder to win the battle.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Take a warm, relaxing bath\\nBaths wash away dirt and grime, and they also help you feel better when you're sick. The steamy warmth that makes congestion feel better. Try a nice bubble bath!\\n1-2. Rest.\\nYou can take a nap in a familiar, comfortable place like your bed, or make a special \\\"Get Better Bed\\\" in a place that's fun and different. Just do something quiet so your body can focus on fighting germs.\\n1-3. Drink.\\nClear liquids are fluids you can see through. (like water or an electrolyte solution similar to Gatorade and Pedialyte,) They flush germs from the body when you drink them. Try for a cup or so every hour.\\n1-4. Snuggle up with a blanket and watch your favorite movie, or try a new movie.\\nTime passes easily when you are enjoying the storyline, and prevents boredom.\\n1-5. Build a blanket fort to lay in and hang a sign that says Happiness Hangout ~ No Germs Welcome.\\nThis is comfy, and also helps put you in the right state of mind.\\n1-6. Have an older sibling or an adult keep you company, and play cards or do puzzles together.\\nThere are many free websites that have game ideas if you want to learn a new game.\\n1-7. Relax\\nYou don't need to do any chores or homework. Just have fun resting. When you are worried about doing things you 'should' be doing, it may distract you from the body's work to getting well.\\n1-8. Enjoy some fresh air outdoors, if the weather allows.\\nLook at scenery, breathe the fresh air, or do anything else you like to do when outside. Be careful not to overdo it, though\\nTips\\nIf you set a timer to ring every 30 minutes, it will remind you to drink fluids often. You should choose things that will help your immune system fight the illness you have, and water is a great choice.\\nWarnings\\nDo not jump around or be super-active. The body is busy fighting germs, and lots of activity makes it harder to win the battle.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's no fun to be sick, but regardless of age, there are things you can do to transform feeling absolutely awful into feeling great. Do you want to know how to be happy and have fun instead of being bored or miserable on a sick day? If so, just consider one or two of these easy steps!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a warm, relaxing bath\", \"描述\": \"Baths wash away dirt and grime, and they also help you feel better when you're sick. The steamy warmth that makes congestion feel better. Try a nice bubble bath!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rest.\", \"描述\": \"You can take a nap in a familiar, comfortable place like your bed, or make a special \\\"Get Better Bed\\\" in a place that's fun and different. Just do something quiet so your body can focus on fighting germs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Drink.\", \"描述\": \"Clear liquids are fluids you can see through. (like water or an electrolyte solution similar to Gatorade and Pedialyte,) They flush germs from the body when you drink them. Try for a cup or so every hour.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Snuggle up with a blanket and watch your favorite movie, or try a new movie.\", \"描述\": \"Time passes easily when you are enjoying the storyline, and prevents boredom.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build a blanket fort to lay in and hang a sign that says Happiness Hangout ~ No Germs Welcome.\", \"描述\": \"This is comfy, and also helps put you in the right state of mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have an older sibling or an adult keep you company, and play cards or do puzzles together.\", \"描述\": \"There are many free websites that have game ideas if you want to learn a new game.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Relax\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to do any chores or homework. Just have fun resting. When you are worried about doing things you 'should' be doing, it may distract you from the body's work to getting well.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enjoy some fresh air outdoors, if the weather allows.\", \"描述\": \"Look at scenery, breathe the fresh air, or do anything else you like to do when outside. Be careful not to overdo it, though\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you set a timer to ring every 30 minutes, it will remind you to drink fluids often. You should choose things that will help your immune system fight the illness you have, and water is a great choice.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not jump around or be super-active. The body is busy fighting germs, and lots of activity makes it harder to win the battle.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,805 | How to Be Happy With What You Have | 1. Changing Your Mindset
1-1. Take a moment to think about your many gifts.
In other words, think about all of the great things that you do have, not the things you don't. When you're feeling down, this can be tough to do, so start with things you may have taken for granted. Ask yourself the questions below. If you can answer "yes" to any single one, you have reason to celebrate — not everyone can.
Do you have a place to live?
Do you have a job?
Have you had an education?
Do you have a significant other who loves you?
Do you have a family member you have a good relationship with?
Do you sometimes have free time to do what you want?
Are you reasonably healthy?
Do you have a pet?
Do you have a nice area of wilderness near where you live?
What else do you need? And is it necessary?
1-2. Think of the ways things could be much worse.
Next, try thinking of everything that could be wrong right now. Reflect on why these things have not happened. Consider each bad thing that hasn't happened to you as gift in itself. Below are just a few questions to get you started — this time, if you can answer "no," to any single one, you have reason to be happy!
Are you dead?
Are you in prison?
Are you in poor health?
Are you completely alone in the world without any chance to meet new people?
Are you completely broke?
1-3. Let go of the past.
There's no way to change the past, so worrying about it does nothing for you. Don't spend a single second focusing on the many things that could have been — these things don't exist in the present, so they're not real. Focus instead on the things that do exist and that you can change. Below are just a few examples of things that you should waste absolutely no time feeling regret over:
Romantic interests that didn't pan out
Mistakes you made in your career path
Adventures you didn't take
Embarrassing situations you were involved in
1-4. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Envy is like poison for happiness. It's very hard to keep your happiness alive when you're focused on how other people are better than you. When someone has something that you like (like a job, a car, a significant other, a fun vacation, etc.), don't be upset that you don't have that thing. Instead, be happy for the other person and focus on making yourself happier.
Remember: people tend to only share the parts of their lives that they're proud about. You usually won't know about most of the things that are going poorly for your friends and coworkers.
1-5. Release yourself from desires for material things.
Possessions can't make you happy in the long term. The "glow" from purchasing fancy new things quickly wears off. Soon, your new possessions are mundane and you're no happier than when you started. Money, houses, and shiny cars are nice things to have, but they're not the source of happiness, so by allowing yourself to desire these things you're only setting yourself up for more unhappiness.
Keep in mind that material things are nice if the rest of your life is okay, but on their own, material things will disappoint you every time.
1-6. Focus on your happiest memories.
While you shouldn't worry about the past because there's nothing you can do to change it, you can and should savor the good aspects of your past. The fact that you have been happy in the past is something to be thankful for. No one else in the world has your happy memories, so you are uniquely privileged in this way. Below are a just a few things you may want to think about:
Happy memories from your childhood
Achievements or milestones that you have reached
Family gatherings you enjoyed
Fun outings with your friends
Professional goals you have met
2. Changing Your Actions
2-1. Spend time with the people you truly value.
To a certain extent, you are the people you surround yourself with. Over time, their opinions, actions, and emotions rub off on you, working their way into your life. To be as happy as possible, be sure to spend time with the people who are most important to you — the people who make you happiest. These can be friends, family members, coworkers, significant others, or even casual acquaintances. Only you know who makes you the happiest, so make this choice for yourself.
2-2. Thank others for the effect they have on your life.
Always go out of your way to thank the people who bring happiness to your life. When you make a habit of thanking people, it makes you realize how much happiness you have in your life. Thanking the people who mean the most to you also allows you to share your happiness. Being happy on your own is great, but being happy with someone you're close to is even better.
This doesn't have to be a flowery, gushing speech. Your thanks can be something as simple as, "Hey, thanks for helping me out the other day. It meant a lot to me." What's important is that you're sincere in your thanks — not the specific words you use.
Get into the habit of practicing gratitude.
2-3. Set exciting new goals.
The happiness you get from achievements and successes is fleeting. Like with new purchases, it quickly fades, leaving you feeling the same as before. However, the state of working toward a goal can be a source of joy all on its own. Having a goal gives you a reason to live your best and makes you feel purposeful and active. In a way, having a goal is like giving your life "fuel" that you can burn over time for longer-term happiness.
Each milestone you surpass on the way to your goal should feel great when you accomplish it. When you do complete your goal, savor the happiness, but remember that it's only temporary to avoid disappointment. To get the same happiness again, you'll need to set a new goal for yourself.
Keep in mind that people are often at their happiest when they are pursuing their goals, whether they achieve the goal or not.
2-4. Surround yourself with things that make you happy.
Even something as simple as your physical environment can have an effect on your happiness. Love flowers? Place them all around your house or workplace. Are you a car aficionado? Leave time in your schedule to do a little work on your car every week. Spending time — even just a little — around the things that make you feel good can have a major effect on your mood. It will also remind you how much you have to be thankful for.
2-5. Live an active, open lifestyle.
Don't hesitate to get outdoors. You'll always be better off discovering something new than staying at home. Try taking a walk. Head to the park. Have a friendly conversation with someone you meet. Take a bike ride. Visit a museum. Whatever you like to do outside of the house, do it. You'll notice your mood improve and your outlook change.
Staying inside watching TV or surfing the web is a great way to relax, but it shouldn't be all you do in your free time. Moderation is key here — balance your urges to veg out with the knowledge that life is temporary and that you won't get back the time you spend inside.
2-6. Have fun!
With all the stresses of daily life, it's easy to forget to simply have a good time every once in a while. There are many ways to do this — only you know what your idea of a good time is. Some people will like going to parties or clubs. Others will prefer reading on the beach. Some will enjoy a good movie. Whatever you enjoy, always make time to do it regularly. Remember: there are no rewards for avoiding fun.
Companionship can make fun activities even funner, so don't hesitate to invite your friend, family, and/or significant other along with you. On the other hand, don't skip out on something fun just because you can't get anyone to go with you. Have confidence in yourself and go on your own — you may meet someone new, but even if you don't, you've still had fun.
Tips
Try to mentally stay in the present. Don't dwell on the past. Stop thinking about painful "what ifs." You can only change the present, so that's what counts.
Remember that no one has a perfect life. Things will occasionally go wrong. Work to fix these things, but don't let life's imperfections drag you down. Mistakes and unhappiness are occasionally unavoidable.
Making lists of what you like and don't like, your goals, and so on can be a great way to organize your thoughts. In addition, it's very satisfying to check things off.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Mindset\\n1-1. Take a moment to think about your many gifts.\\nIn other words, think about all of the great things that you do have, not the things you don't. When you're feeling down, this can be tough to do, so start with things you may have taken for granted. Ask yourself the questions below. If you can answer \\\"yes\\\" to any single one, you have reason to celebrate — not everyone can.\\nDo you have a place to live?\\nDo you have a job?\\nHave you had an education?\\nDo you have a significant other who loves you?\\nDo you have a family member you have a good relationship with?\\nDo you sometimes have free time to do what you want?\\nAre you reasonably healthy?\\nDo you have a pet?\\nDo you have a nice area of wilderness near where you live?\\nWhat else do you need? And is it necessary?\\n1-2. Think of the ways things could be much worse.\\nNext, try thinking of everything that could be wrong right now. Reflect on why these things have not happened. Consider each bad thing that hasn't happened to you as gift in itself. Below are just a few questions to get you started — this time, if you can answer \\\"no,\\\" to any single one, you have reason to be happy!\\nAre you dead?\\nAre you in prison?\\nAre you in poor health?\\nAre you completely alone in the world without any chance to meet new people?\\nAre you completely broke?\\n1-3. Let go of the past.\\nThere's no way to change the past, so worrying about it does nothing for you. Don't spend a single second focusing on the many things that could have been — these things don't exist in the present, so they're not real. Focus instead on the things that do exist and that you can change. Below are just a few examples of things that you should waste absolutely no time feeling regret over:\\nRomantic interests that didn't pan out\\nMistakes you made in your career path\\nAdventures you didn't take\\nEmbarrassing situations you were involved in\\n1-4. Stop comparing yourself to others.\\nEnvy is like poison for happiness. It's very hard to keep your happiness alive when you're focused on how other people are better than you. When someone has something that you like (like a job, a car, a significant other, a fun vacation, etc.), don't be upset that you don't have that thing. Instead, be happy for the other person and focus on making yourself happier.\\nRemember: people tend to only share the parts of their lives that they're proud about. You usually won't know about most of the things that are going poorly for your friends and coworkers.\\n1-5. Release yourself from desires for material things.\\nPossessions can't make you happy in the long term. The \\\"glow\\\" from purchasing fancy new things quickly wears off. Soon, your new possessions are mundane and you're no happier than when you started. Money, houses, and shiny cars are nice things to have, but they're not the source of happiness, so by allowing yourself to desire these things you're only setting yourself up for more unhappiness.\\nKeep in mind that material things are nice if the rest of your life is okay, but on their own, material things will disappoint you every time.\\n1-6. Focus on your happiest memories.\\nWhile you shouldn't worry about the past because there's nothing you can do to change it, you can and should savor the good aspects of your past. The fact that you have been happy in the past is something to be thankful for. No one else in the world has your happy memories, so you are uniquely privileged in this way. Below are a just a few things you may want to think about:\\nHappy memories from your childhood\\nAchievements or milestones that you have reached\\nFamily gatherings you enjoyed\\nFun outings with your friends\\nProfessional goals you have met\\n2. Changing Your Actions\\n2-1. Spend time with the people you truly value.\\nTo a certain extent, you are the people you surround yourself with. Over time, their opinions, actions, and emotions rub off on you, working their way into your life. To be as happy as possible, be sure to spend time with the people who are most important to you — the people who make you happiest. These can be friends, family members, coworkers, significant others, or even casual acquaintances. Only you know who makes you the happiest, so make this choice for yourself.\\n2-2. Thank others for the effect they have on your life.\\nAlways go out of your way to thank the people who bring happiness to your life. When you make a habit of thanking people, it makes you realize how much happiness you have in your life. Thanking the people who mean the most to you also allows you to share your happiness. Being happy on your own is great, but being happy with someone you're close to is even better.\\nThis doesn't have to be a flowery, gushing speech. Your thanks can be something as simple as, \\\"Hey, thanks for helping me out the other day. It meant a lot to me.\\\" What's important is that you're sincere in your thanks — not the specific words you use.\\nGet into the habit of practicing gratitude.\\n2-3. Set exciting new goals.\\nThe happiness you get from achievements and successes is fleeting. Like with new purchases, it quickly fades, leaving you feeling the same as before. However, the state of working toward a goal can be a source of joy all on its own. Having a goal gives you a reason to live your best and makes you feel purposeful and active. In a way, having a goal is like giving your life \\\"fuel\\\" that you can burn over time for longer-term happiness.\\nEach milestone you surpass on the way to your goal should feel great when you accomplish it. When you do complete your goal, savor the happiness, but remember that it's only temporary to avoid disappointment. To get the same happiness again, you'll need to set a new goal for yourself.\\nKeep in mind that people are often at their happiest when they are pursuing their goals, whether they achieve the goal or not.\\n2-4. Surround yourself with things that make you happy.\\nEven something as simple as your physical environment can have an effect on your happiness. Love flowers? Place them all around your house or workplace. Are you a car aficionado? Leave time in your schedule to do a little work on your car every week. Spending time — even just a little — around the things that make you feel good can have a major effect on your mood. It will also remind you how much you have to be thankful for.\\n2-5. Live an active, open lifestyle.\\nDon't hesitate to get outdoors. You'll always be better off discovering something new than staying at home. Try taking a walk. Head to the park. Have a friendly conversation with someone you meet. Take a bike ride. Visit a museum. Whatever you like to do outside of the house, do it. You'll notice your mood improve and your outlook change.\\nStaying inside watching TV or surfing the web is a great way to relax, but it shouldn't be all you do in your free time. Moderation is key here — balance your urges to veg out with the knowledge that life is temporary and that you won't get back the time you spend inside.\\n2-6. Have fun!\\nWith all the stresses of daily life, it's easy to forget to simply have a good time every once in a while. There are many ways to do this — only you know what your idea of a good time is. Some people will like going to parties or clubs. Others will prefer reading on the beach. Some will enjoy a good movie. Whatever you enjoy, always make time to do it regularly. Remember: there are no rewards for avoiding fun.\\nCompanionship can make fun activities even funner, so don't hesitate to invite your friend, family, and/or significant other along with you. On the other hand, don't skip out on something fun just because you can't get anyone to go with you. Have confidence in yourself and go on your own — you may meet someone new, but even if you don't, you've still had fun.\\nTips\\nTry to mentally stay in the present. Don't dwell on the past. Stop thinking about painful \\\"what ifs.\\\" You can only change the present, so that's what counts.\\nRemember that no one has a perfect life. Things will occasionally go wrong. Work to fix these things, but don't let life's imperfections drag you down. Mistakes and unhappiness are occasionally unavoidable.\\nMaking lists of what you like and don't like, your goals, and so on can be a great way to organize your thoughts. In addition, it's very satisfying to check things off.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To a certain extent, happiness is a choice. While it's impossible to control everything that happens to you, you can control your internal thought processes and the actions you take. Ultimately, being happy with what you have is a matter of focusing on the good things in your life, letting go of unrealistic burdens and expectations, and doing your best to make yourself feel good in the here and now.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a moment to think about your many gifts.\", \"描述\": \"In other words, think about all of the great things that you do have, not the things you don't. When you're feeling down, this can be tough to do, so start with things you may have taken for granted. Ask yourself the questions below. If you can answer \\\"yes\\\" to any single one, you have reason to celebrate — not everyone can.\\nDo you have a place to live?\\nDo you have a job?\\nHave you had an education?\\nDo you have a significant other who loves you?\\nDo you have a family member you have a good relationship with?\\nDo you sometimes have free time to do what you want?\\nAre you reasonably healthy?\\nDo you have a pet?\\nDo you have a nice area of wilderness near where you live?\\nWhat else do you need? And is it necessary?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think of the ways things could be much worse.\", \"描述\": \"Next, try thinking of everything that could be wrong right now. Reflect on why these things have not happened. Consider each bad thing that hasn't happened to you as gift in itself. Below are just a few questions to get you started — this time, if you can answer \\\"no,\\\" to any single one, you have reason to be happy!\\nAre you dead?\\nAre you in prison?\\nAre you in poor health?\\nAre you completely alone in the world without any chance to meet new people?\\nAre you completely broke?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let go of the past.\", \"描述\": \"There's no way to change the past, so worrying about it does nothing for you. Don't spend a single second focusing on the many things that could have been — these things don't exist in the present, so they're not real. Focus instead on the things that do exist and that you can change. Below are just a few examples of things that you should waste absolutely no time feeling regret over:\\nRomantic interests that didn't pan out\\nMistakes you made in your career path\\nAdventures you didn't take\\nEmbarrassing situations you were involved in\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stop comparing yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"Envy is like poison for happiness. It's very hard to keep your happiness alive when you're focused on how other people are better than you. When someone has something that you like (like a job, a car, a significant other, a fun vacation, etc.), don't be upset that you don't have that thing. Instead, be happy for the other person and focus on making yourself happier.\\nRemember: people tend to only share the parts of their lives that they're proud about. You usually won't know about most of the things that are going poorly for your friends and coworkers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Release yourself from desires for material things.\", \"描述\": \"Possessions can't make you happy in the long term. The \\\"glow\\\" from purchasing fancy new things quickly wears off. Soon, your new possessions are mundane and you're no happier than when you started. Money, houses, and shiny cars are nice things to have, but they're not the source of happiness, so by allowing yourself to desire these things you're only setting yourself up for more unhappiness.\\nKeep in mind that material things are nice if the rest of your life is okay, but on their own, material things will disappoint you every time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Focus on your happiest memories.\", \"描述\": \"While you shouldn't worry about the past because there's nothing you can do to change it, you can and should savor the good aspects of your past. The fact that you have been happy in the past is something to be thankful for. No one else in the world has your happy memories, so you are uniquely privileged in this way. Below are a just a few things you may want to think about:\\nHappy memories from your childhood\\nAchievements or milestones that you have reached\\nFamily gatherings you enjoyed\\nFun outings with your friends\\nProfessional goals you have met\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Actions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time with the people you truly value.\", \"描述\": \"To a certain extent, you are the people you surround yourself with. Over time, their opinions, actions, and emotions rub off on you, working their way into your life. To be as happy as possible, be sure to spend time with the people who are most important to you — the people who make you happiest. These can be friends, family members, coworkers, significant others, or even casual acquaintances. Only you know who makes you the happiest, so make this choice for yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thank others for the effect they have on your life.\", \"描述\": \"Always go out of your way to thank the people who bring happiness to your life. When you make a habit of thanking people, it makes you realize how much happiness you have in your life. Thanking the people who mean the most to you also allows you to share your happiness. Being happy on your own is great, but being happy with someone you're close to is even better.\\nThis doesn't have to be a flowery, gushing speech. Your thanks can be something as simple as, \\\"Hey, thanks for helping me out the other day. It meant a lot to me.\\\" What's important is that you're sincere in your thanks — not the specific words you use.\\nGet into the habit of practicing gratitude.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set exciting new goals.\", \"描述\": \"The happiness you get from achievements and successes is fleeting. Like with new purchases, it quickly fades, leaving you feeling the same as before. However, the state of working toward a goal can be a source of joy all on its own. Having a goal gives you a reason to live your best and makes you feel purposeful and active. In a way, having a goal is like giving your life \\\"fuel\\\" that you can burn over time for longer-term happiness.\\nEach milestone you surpass on the way to your goal should feel great when you accomplish it. When you do complete your goal, savor the happiness, but remember that it's only temporary to avoid disappointment. To get the same happiness again, you'll need to set a new goal for yourself.\\nKeep in mind that people are often at their happiest when they are pursuing their goals, whether they achieve the goal or not.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with things that make you happy.\", \"描述\": \"Even something as simple as your physical environment can have an effect on your happiness. Love flowers? Place them all around your house or workplace. Are you a car aficionado? Leave time in your schedule to do a little work on your car every week. Spending time — even just a little — around the things that make you feel good can have a major effect on your mood. It will also remind you how much you have to be thankful for.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Live an active, open lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hesitate to get outdoors. You'll always be better off discovering something new than staying at home. Try taking a walk. Head to the park. Have a friendly conversation with someone you meet. Take a bike ride. Visit a museum. Whatever you like to do outside of the house, do it. You'll notice your mood improve and your outlook change.\\nStaying inside watching TV or surfing the web is a great way to relax, but it shouldn't be all you do in your free time. Moderation is key here — balance your urges to veg out with the knowledge that life is temporary and that you won't get back the time you spend inside.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have fun!\", \"描述\": \"With all the stresses of daily life, it's easy to forget to simply have a good time every once in a while. There are many ways to do this — only you know what your idea of a good time is. Some people will like going to parties or clubs. Others will prefer reading on the beach. Some will enjoy a good movie. Whatever you enjoy, always make time to do it regularly. Remember: there are no rewards for avoiding fun.\\nCompanionship can make fun activities even funner, so don't hesitate to invite your friend, family, and/or significant other along with you. On the other hand, don't skip out on something fun just because you can't get anyone to go with you. Have confidence in yourself and go on your own — you may meet someone new, but even if you don't, you've still had fun.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to mentally stay in the present. Don't dwell on the past. Stop thinking about painful \\\"what ifs.\\\" You can only change the present, so that's what counts.\\n\", \"Remember that no one has a perfect life. Things will occasionally go wrong. Work to fix these things, but don't let life's imperfections drag you down. Mistakes and unhappiness are occasionally unavoidable.\\n\", \"Making lists of what you like and don't like, your goals, and so on can be a great way to organize your thoughts. In addition, it's very satisfying to check things off.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,806 | How to Be Happy With Yourself and Life in General | 1. Steps
1-1. Realize that many of the people who pick on you are jealous or feel inferior.
What sort of a person would go around trying to pick on every little flaw, just to make you feel bad? Don't let it get you down. Learn to think in a detached way. Don't allow your thoughts to influence your moods, emotions, and behavior. Don't retaliate. Just smile, take a calming breath, and walk away.
1-2. Think about the idea of karma.
What goes around, comes around. Someone might be mean to you, but the bad feeling will find it's way back to them. Keep your own karma in good shape by being kind to others!
1-3. Write.
Then write some more. Write any worries or negative feelings on a slip of paper, then tear it up and throw it away. You'll feel relieved, and as if you really have thrown your worries in the bin.
Follow the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that teaches the process of Cognitive Difussion. You can imagine that your thoughts are separate from you. Allow them to pass by like clouds or trains, or let them flow down a stream away from you.
1-4. Labels are for losers.
Hang around with everyone. Try not to give anyone or any group a label. Pretty soon you will realize that labels just give a preconceived notion about someone...not tell you anything about who they really are.
1-5. Take care of yourself.
Eat and drink what's best for your body. Drink plenty of water and stay away from soda. Eat at least 5 portions of fruits and vegetables a day, and get a good nights sleep. Wash regularly and take pride in yourself. Do not try to combat negative thoughts. Let them pass without getting entangled with them. Otherwise, they may increase and intensify.
Meditation can bring a lot of joy. With practice, you can use meditation techniques to help you access blissful emotions like gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. You can draw on these emotions any time you need a quick reset of emotions throughout the day, leaving you with a more positive mindset.
1-6. Your relationships are one of the keys to happiness.
Be aware of the people who bring you joy and make more room for them. For example, if one of your coworkers brings you joy, make a point each day to go up to them and say "hi"!
Consider which of your relationships are healthy and contributing to happiness.
Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to strengthen your relationships.
Determine if any of your relationships are not beneficial to you and what steps you should take to address this.
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Tips
Enjoy your own company. Do things in your spare time that make you happy. If you like being with yourself, chances are others will too.
Be careful about how you talk to yourself. Remind yourself that you are an amazing person.
Warnings
Worrying can't make the matter better. Write out your worries then let them go.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Realize that many of the people who pick on you are jealous or feel inferior.\\nWhat sort of a person would go around trying to pick on every little flaw, just to make you feel bad? Don't let it get you down. Learn to think in a detached way. Don't allow your thoughts to influence your moods, emotions, and behavior. Don't retaliate. Just smile, take a calming breath, and walk away.\\n1-2. Think about the idea of karma.\\nWhat goes around, comes around. Someone might be mean to you, but the bad feeling will find it's way back to them. Keep your own karma in good shape by being kind to others!\\n1-3. Write.\\nThen write some more. Write any worries or negative feelings on a slip of paper, then tear it up and throw it away. You'll feel relieved, and as if you really have thrown your worries in the bin.\\nFollow the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that teaches the process of Cognitive Difussion. You can imagine that your thoughts are separate from you. Allow them to pass by like clouds or trains, or let them flow down a stream away from you.\\n1-4. Labels are for losers.\\nHang around with everyone. Try not to give anyone or any group a label. Pretty soon you will realize that labels just give a preconceived notion about someone...not tell you anything about who they really are.\\n1-5. Take care of yourself.\\nEat and drink what's best for your body. Drink plenty of water and stay away from soda. Eat at least 5 portions of fruits and vegetables a day, and get a good nights sleep. Wash regularly and take pride in yourself. Do not try to combat negative thoughts. Let them pass without getting entangled with them. Otherwise, they may increase and intensify.\\nMeditation can bring a lot of joy. With practice, you can use meditation techniques to help you access blissful emotions like gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. You can draw on these emotions any time you need a quick reset of emotions throughout the day, leaving you with a more positive mindset.\\n1-6. Your relationships are one of the keys to happiness.\\nBe aware of the people who bring you joy and make more room for them. For example, if one of your coworkers brings you joy, make a point each day to go up to them and say \\\"hi\\\"!\\nConsider which of your relationships are healthy and contributing to happiness.\\nAsk yourself if there is anything you can do to strengthen your relationships.\\nDetermine if any of your relationships are not beneficial to you and what steps you should take to address this.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/48\\\\/Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/48\\\\/Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\\/aid269100-v4-728px-Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":306,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":485,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nTips\\nEnjoy your own company. Do things in your spare time that make you happy. If you like being with yourself, chances are others will too.\\nBe careful about how you talk to yourself. Remind yourself that you are an amazing person.\\nWarnings\\nWorrying can't make the matter better. Write out your worries then let them go.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you unhappy because others label you, leave you out, or put you down? Chin up - you don't need to be miserable because of what other people say or do. With perseverance, you can develop happiness skills that will help you to stay happy regardless of whatever difficulties life throws your way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that many of the people who pick on you are jealous or feel inferior.\", \"描述\": \"What sort of a person would go around trying to pick on every little flaw, just to make you feel bad? Don't let it get you down. Learn to think in a detached way. Don't allow your thoughts to influence your moods, emotions, and behavior. Don't retaliate. Just smile, take a calming breath, and walk away.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think about the idea of karma.\", \"描述\": \"What goes around, comes around. Someone might be mean to you, but the bad feeling will find it's way back to them. Keep your own karma in good shape by being kind to others!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write.\", \"描述\": \"Then write some more. Write any worries or negative feelings on a slip of paper, then tear it up and throw it away. You'll feel relieved, and as if you really have thrown your worries in the bin.\\nFollow the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that teaches the process of Cognitive Difussion. You can imagine that your thoughts are separate from you. Allow them to pass by like clouds or trains, or let them flow down a stream away from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Labels are for losers.\", \"描述\": \"Hang around with everyone. Try not to give anyone or any group a label. Pretty soon you will realize that labels just give a preconceived notion about someone...not tell you anything about who they really are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Eat and drink what's best for your body. Drink plenty of water and stay away from soda. Eat at least 5 portions of fruits and vegetables a day, and get a good nights sleep. Wash regularly and take pride in yourself. Do not try to combat negative thoughts. Let them pass without getting entangled with them. Otherwise, they may increase and intensify.\\nMeditation can bring a lot of joy. With practice, you can use meditation techniques to help you access blissful emotions like gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. You can draw on these emotions any time you need a quick reset of emotions throughout the day, leaving you with a more positive mindset.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Your relationships are one of the keys to happiness.\", \"描述\": \"Be aware of the people who bring you joy and make more room for them. For example, if one of your coworkers brings you joy, make a point each day to go up to them and say \\\"hi\\\"!\\nConsider which of your relationships are healthy and contributing to happiness.\\nAsk yourself if there is anything you can do to strengthen your relationships.\\nDetermine if any of your relationships are not beneficial to you and what steps you should take to address this.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/48\\\\/Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/4\\\\/48\\\\/Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\\/aid269100-v4-728px-Be-Happy-With-Yourself-and-Life-in-General-Step-6.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":306,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":485,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Enjoy your own company. Do things in your spare time that make you happy. If you like being with yourself, chances are others will too.\\n\", \"Be careful about how you talk to yourself. Remind yourself that you are an amazing person.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Worrying can't make the matter better. Write out your worries then let them go.\\n\"]}]}}",
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3,807 | How to Be Happy With Yourself as a Teen | 1. Steps
1-1. Appreciate all the things you have.
Whether it is a loving family, friends or looks, learn to love what you've got. Take advantage of these things and be happy with what you have.
1-2. Love yourself
Just remember, if you don't love yourself then no one will - with the exception of relatives. Pamper yourself look after yourself. Be hygienic, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat to yourself that there is no one like you and everyone wants to be you.
1-3. Respect yourself
Self-respect is an important skill that will guide you in life. Think to yourself "I am a human being like everyone else, and if not better I am the same as everyone one else - why should I not love and respect and cherish what I have?" A proverb- Be smart if you can, beautiful if you want to, but be respected now - that is essential.
1-4. Busy yourself with things.
For example, start individually if you want- e.g. school music room- piano, read books, they are interesting. Take time to do things you want, drawing, listening to music, making crafts- origami. Put music on and start doing belly dancing or hip hop if you prefer.
1-5. Spend time with your family if possible.
Socialize with them. Play simple games such as snakes & ladders, chess, cards etc. Or just watch films together, discuss books with each other, all sorts of things.
1-6. Remember to never think that you are lonely.
There are many things for you to do. Just because you don't have that many friends does not mean you can't enjoy yourself! You will indeed create self-confidence and self-esteem by being an independent person.
1-7. Educate yourself.
No matter what, education is an important factor in life- read as many books as possible, even if you don't like to read, try you never know. Maths is important to learn it well- if you are not so interested in the academic subjects choose to learn a language- you can get many jobs by knowing a few different languages. All of this will make you a stronger and more confident person.
1-8. Socialize
Don't just stick to one friend ,have many people you can socialize with and enjoy their company. Make them come to you by talking less but more interestingly. Talk about different things with different people- if someone is into sport- talk about sport, if someone else is into fashion and music then talk about these things to keep them interested and most importantly let them know you know about everything- this is when education helps- being clever.
1-9. Don't think about negative things too much.
What happened, happened and that's that!! Forget it and enjoy yourself. Don't take things too seriously.
1-10. Be happy
Just think that there are people who are desperate for the things that you may have and appreciate them and cherish them. Love and respect yourself and then everything else will happen with a flow. With negative thoughts negative things will happen. Its karma. What you give you get back.
Tips
Love yourself and you shall be loved!
Show it through ACTIONS.
Flaunt the things you have and be proud of everything you have.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Appreciate all the things you have.\\nWhether it is a loving family, friends or looks, learn to love what you've got. Take advantage of these things and be happy with what you have.\\n1-2. Love yourself\\nJust remember, if you don't love yourself then no one will - with the exception of relatives. Pamper yourself look after yourself. Be hygienic, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat to yourself that there is no one like you and everyone wants to be you.\\n1-3. Respect yourself\\nSelf-respect is an important skill that will guide you in life. Think to yourself \\\"I am a human being like everyone else, and if not better I am the same as everyone one else - why should I not love and respect and cherish what I have?\\\" A proverb- Be smart if you can, beautiful if you want to, but be respected now - that is essential.\\n1-4. Busy yourself with things.\\nFor example, start individually if you want- e.g. school music room- piano, read books, they are interesting. Take time to do things you want, drawing, listening to music, making crafts- origami. Put music on and start doing belly dancing or hip hop if you prefer.\\n1-5. Spend time with your family if possible.\\nSocialize with them. Play simple games such as snakes & ladders, chess, cards etc. Or just watch films together, discuss books with each other, all sorts of things.\\n1-6. Remember to never think that you are lonely.\\nThere are many things for you to do. Just because you don't have that many friends does not mean you can't enjoy yourself! You will indeed create self-confidence and self-esteem by being an independent person.\\n1-7. Educate yourself.\\nNo matter what, education is an important factor in life- read as many books as possible, even if you don't like to read, try you never know. Maths is important to learn it well- if you are not so interested in the academic subjects choose to learn a language- you can get many jobs by knowing a few different languages. All of this will make you a stronger and more confident person.\\n1-8. Socialize\\nDon't just stick to one friend ,have many people you can socialize with and enjoy their company. Make them come to you by talking less but more interestingly. Talk about different things with different people- if someone is into sport- talk about sport, if someone else is into fashion and music then talk about these things to keep them interested and most importantly let them know you know about everything- this is when education helps- being clever.\\n1-9. Don't think about negative things too much.\\nWhat happened, happened and that's that!! Forget it and enjoy yourself. Don't take things too seriously.\\n1-10. Be happy\\nJust think that there are people who are desperate for the things that you may have and appreciate them and cherish them. Love and respect yourself and then everything else will happen with a flow. With negative thoughts negative things will happen. Its karma. What you give you get back.\\nTips\\nLove yourself and you shall be loved!\\nShow it through ACTIONS.\\nFlaunt the things you have and be proud of everything you have.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Life is a battlefield and we must become fighters to have a chance in succeeding the battle. This article will give you advice and guidance on how to enjoy your life despite whatever, and learn to be happy with yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appreciate all the things you have.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it is a loving family, friends or looks, learn to love what you've got. Take advantage of these things and be happy with what you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Love yourself\", \"描述\": \"Just remember, if you don't love yourself then no one will - with the exception of relatives. Pamper yourself look after yourself. Be hygienic, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat to yourself that there is no one like you and everyone wants to be you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect yourself\", \"描述\": \"Self-respect is an important skill that will guide you in life. Think to yourself \\\"I am a human being like everyone else, and if not better I am the same as everyone one else - why should I not love and respect and cherish what I have?\\\" A proverb- Be smart if you can, beautiful if you want to, but be respected now - that is essential.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Busy yourself with things.\", \"描述\": \"For example, start individually if you want- e.g. school music room- piano, read books, they are interesting. Take time to do things you want, drawing, listening to music, making crafts- origami. Put music on and start doing belly dancing or hip hop if you prefer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spend time with your family if possible.\", \"描述\": \"Socialize with them. Play simple games such as snakes & ladders, chess, cards etc. Or just watch films together, discuss books with each other, all sorts of things.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remember to never think that you are lonely.\", \"描述\": \"There are many things for you to do. Just because you don't have that many friends does not mean you can't enjoy yourself! You will indeed create self-confidence and self-esteem by being an independent person.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Educate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what, education is an important factor in life- read as many books as possible, even if you don't like to read, try you never know. Maths is important to learn it well- if you are not so interested in the academic subjects choose to learn a language- you can get many jobs by knowing a few different languages. All of this will make you a stronger and more confident person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Socialize\", \"描述\": \"Don't just stick to one friend ,have many people you can socialize with and enjoy their company. Make them come to you by talking less but more interestingly. Talk about different things with different people- if someone is into sport- talk about sport, if someone else is into fashion and music then talk about these things to keep them interested and most importantly let them know you know about everything- this is when education helps- being clever.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't think about negative things too much.\", \"描述\": \"What happened, happened and that's that!! Forget it and enjoy yourself. Don't take things too seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Be happy\", \"描述\": \"Just think that there are people who are desperate for the things that you may have and appreciate them and cherish them. Love and respect yourself and then everything else will happen with a flow. With negative thoughts negative things will happen. Its karma. What you give you get back.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Love yourself and you shall be loved!\\n\", \"Show it through ACTIONS.\\n\", \"Flaunt the things you have and be proud of everything you have.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,808 | How to Be Happy Without Having a Child | 1. Finding Fulfillment Without Children
1-1. Focus on your career.
If you are looking to advance in your job or to learn new working skills, you may be happier without the hindrance of child rearing responsibilities distracting you from your career. You may have more time than some of your parent peers to devote to work, in which case you can take this as an opportunity to immerse yourself fully and enjoy career success.
Chart a career path by working only the jobs that interest you, trusting your gut about which positions you accept, and developing a professional network.
1-2. Travel more.
Raising a child is an expensive endeavor. If you do not have children you may have additional disposable income, and if you love traveling, you can take this as an opportunity to do more of that.
You could consider vacation destinations exclusively for the over-21 crowd if you want a truly child-free experience. You might also set a travel goal and plan a lifetime of travel alone or with your partner. In addition to expanding yourself culturally, you will meet a host of interesting people, and if you love interacting with others, this may just be the perfect way to attain happiness without having a child.
1-3. Take a course to learn about investing for retirement.
Savings goals are very different for people with no children than they are for people with children. With the cost of raising children being so high, you may have more money than your counterparts with children which you could direct towards the purposes of learning how to invest. Without the stress of paying for your kids' college or leaving an inheritance, you may even be able to retire earlier than individuals with children. In the long run, you can benefit from learning different investment strategies.
Look up courses about investing for retirement in your community's classifieds or by doing a Google search on the topic.
You could also join a regular Meetup group in your area about investing for retirement. That way, you can also meet others who are in the same boat and you can learn from each other.
1-4. Take advantage of alone time.
Make time, even if it's just five minutes, in your day to be by yourself. The benefits are plentiful and range from increased creativity to peace of mind and tranquility. You could:
Start a project. Being alone can recharge you and increase your creativity. If you have a project - for work, for fun - that you've been putting off or just think would be entertaining to try, now is the time.
Get more work done. Alone time can clear your mind and help you focus and work harder. Use your alone time to check something off your work “to do” list, without distraction. Checking something off your list will enable you to better enjoy your time off.
Go on an adventure alone. When you are more insulated, making social connections can actually be easier, because you've put yourself in a situation where you likely want to have more social interactions. If you're typically extroverted, this can be a good way to increase your happiness levels. So take a day trip by yourself, even if is to a local park; use it to recharge and meet new people.
2. Bonding with Your Partner
2-1. Start a new hobby together.
You can spend quality time with your partner while learning something new. There are many hobbies that can bring you “start to finish” together time. In fact, child-free couples often report happier partnerships as they prioritize time differently than those with children and can often invest more time into their relationship than their peers with children.
For example, many couples enjoy gardening together. From going to the garden center to planting seasonal flowers, you can spend quality time with each other. You can enjoy the small talk of things you are learning about as well as enjoying the quiet sounds of the outdoors and the serene feeling the quiet brings.
2-2. Attend events near you.
Page through the Sunday paper or an online events calendar to see what events are going on around you. There are probably things you have never considered and you may find yourself enjoying a new and unexpected experience with your partner. From music and beverage tours to many different arts festivals, you can usually find something fun to do with your significant other.
2-3. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.
Whether you prefer the mountains or beach, love a winery or brewery, or enjoy arts or sports, there is a getaway for everyone. From Travelocity to Kayak to Orbitz, there are numerous online room booking sources for hotels and B&Bs. You could even consider renting a place through a service like Airbnb. Online coupons can make such a getaway affordable.
2-4. Begin planning for your dream vacation destination.
Set goals to achieve the plan, such as how to save up money and when to go. Even if the trip doesn't come to fruition, you'll still have spent quality time with each other.
Begin with a realistic savings plan. Learn about different saving strategies and find one that fits you. A little bit will add up over time.
Consider your calendar and timing. Planning well ahead will prevent last minute conflicts. Consider your work schedule and consider how holidays affect your destination.
Begin to learn a new language. It will add to the excitement. You can speak it to each other to practice.The planning and anticipation can be half the fun.
2-5. Enjoy a staycation.
You can plan a romantic weekend at home and save money. Unplug! You will be surprised once you get over the initial uncomfortable feeling, how liberating it feels. You and your partner will enjoy being the center of each other’s attention as well as the quiet time. Stay in your pajamas until noon and then prepare brunch together. There are so many ways to relax and be happy at home.
2-6. Be intimate with your partner.
You may have more free time than people with children and be less stressed. Use the time to be intimate and keep your relationship fresh. A great sex life has proven a key factor in enduring relationships. Childless couples report better sex lives and often greater happiness, so spend time with each other. Even just cuddling can allow you to develop your bond.
2-7. Exercise together.
There is a clear correlation between fitness and happiness. Child-free couples may have more opportunities to exercise together, so take advantage of your free time to work out with each other.
Exercise together at a gym, at home or outdoors. You can motivate each other to reach fitness goals. Your relationship will benefit and you will have personal health benefits as well.
Join a co-ed recreational sports team. Check with your local parks to see what is in season. You will enjoy the experience together and meet other people together.
3. Spending Time With Others' Children
3-1. Dote on other people’s children.
Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you don’t like them. Enjoy helping and spending time with children of family members and friends. Offer to take your nieces or nephews out to a movie or arcade. You will enjoy yourself and give a much needed break to the parents.
3-2. Volunteer with a children’s organization.
Studies show the more people volunteer the happier they are. The opportunities are endless:
If you like to read, sign up to read at an elementary school. Call the school parent association and ask if they have a Literacy Committee. Most schools love volunteer readers. You could also go to your local library and see if they have guest readers for story time.
Youth coaches are always looking for assistants. Check with the schools and youth athletic organizations to share your love of a sport. Most schools and organizations will do a background check and then welcome you for much needed assistance.
Check with a family homeless shelter and see if they need any homework help for the school-age children living there..
Help with a holiday event at the local children's hospital.
3-3. Host a neighborhood family picnic.
Use a handy online sign up sheet to host a potluck picnic. You can provide location and activities while guest bring their favorite dishes. Plan some games and crafts and enjoy participating with the neighborhood kids.
Tips
While your home may be couple centered versus child centered, be sure to maintain individual interests as well.
Do not feel alone with your childless family. The numbers are greater than you think.
Warnings
Others may think you selfish for not having kids. It is not selfish to make a choice best for your own life goals..
While you may not have child stress, all lives have stress and conflict to deal with.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Fulfillment Without Children\\n1-1. Focus on your career.\\nIf you are looking to advance in your job or to learn new working skills, you may be happier without the hindrance of child rearing responsibilities distracting you from your career. You may have more time than some of your parent peers to devote to work, in which case you can take this as an opportunity to immerse yourself fully and enjoy career success.\\nChart a career path by working only the jobs that interest you, trusting your gut about which positions you accept, and developing a professional network.\\n1-2. Travel more.\\nRaising a child is an expensive endeavor. If you do not have children you may have additional disposable income, and if you love traveling, you can take this as an opportunity to do more of that.\\nYou could consider vacation destinations exclusively for the over-21 crowd if you want a truly child-free experience. You might also set a travel goal and plan a lifetime of travel alone or with your partner. In addition to expanding yourself culturally, you will meet a host of interesting people, and if you love interacting with others, this may just be the perfect way to attain happiness without having a child.\\n1-3. Take a course to learn about investing for retirement.\\nSavings goals are very different for people with no children than they are for people with children. With the cost of raising children being so high, you may have more money than your counterparts with children which you could direct towards the purposes of learning how to invest. Without the stress of paying for your kids' college or leaving an inheritance, you may even be able to retire earlier than individuals with children. In the long run, you can benefit from learning different investment strategies.\\nLook up courses about investing for retirement in your community's classifieds or by doing a Google search on the topic.\\nYou could also join a regular Meetup group in your area about investing for retirement. That way, you can also meet others who are in the same boat and you can learn from each other.\\n1-4. Take advantage of alone time.\\nMake time, even if it's just five minutes, in your day to be by yourself. The benefits are plentiful and range from increased creativity to peace of mind and tranquility. You could:\\nStart a project. Being alone can recharge you and increase your creativity. If you have a project - for work, for fun - that you've been putting off or just think would be entertaining to try, now is the time.\\nGet more work done. Alone time can clear your mind and help you focus and work harder. Use your alone time to check something off your work “to do” list, without distraction. Checking something off your list will enable you to better enjoy your time off.\\nGo on an adventure alone. When you are more insulated, making social connections can actually be easier, because you've put yourself in a situation where you likely want to have more social interactions. If you're typically extroverted, this can be a good way to increase your happiness levels. So take a day trip by yourself, even if is to a local park; use it to recharge and meet new people.\\n2. Bonding with Your Partner\\n2-1. Start a new hobby together.\\nYou can spend quality time with your partner while learning something new. There are many hobbies that can bring you “start to finish” together time. In fact, child-free couples often report happier partnerships as they prioritize time differently than those with children and can often invest more time into their relationship than their peers with children. \\nFor example, many couples enjoy gardening together. From going to the garden center to planting seasonal flowers, you can spend quality time with each other. You can enjoy the small talk of things you are learning about as well as enjoying the quiet sounds of the outdoors and the serene feeling the quiet brings.\\n2-2. Attend events near you.\\nPage through the Sunday paper or an online events calendar to see what events are going on around you. There are probably things you have never considered and you may find yourself enjoying a new and unexpected experience with your partner. From music and beverage tours to many different arts festivals, you can usually find something fun to do with your significant other.\\n2-3. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.\\nWhether you prefer the mountains or beach, love a winery or brewery, or enjoy arts or sports, there is a getaway for everyone. From Travelocity to Kayak to Orbitz, there are numerous online room booking sources for hotels and B&Bs. You could even consider renting a place through a service like Airbnb. Online coupons can make such a getaway affordable.\\n2-4. Begin planning for your dream vacation destination.\\nSet goals to achieve the plan, such as how to save up money and when to go. Even if the trip doesn't come to fruition, you'll still have spent quality time with each other.\\nBegin with a realistic savings plan. Learn about different saving strategies and find one that fits you. A little bit will add up over time.\\nConsider your calendar and timing. Planning well ahead will prevent last minute conflicts. Consider your work schedule and consider how holidays affect your destination.\\nBegin to learn a new language. It will add to the excitement. You can speak it to each other to practice.The planning and anticipation can be half the fun.\\n2-5. Enjoy a staycation.\\nYou can plan a romantic weekend at home and save money. Unplug! You will be surprised once you get over the initial uncomfortable feeling, how liberating it feels. You and your partner will enjoy being the center of each other’s attention as well as the quiet time. Stay in your pajamas until noon and then prepare brunch together. There are so many ways to relax and be happy at home.\\n2-6. Be intimate with your partner.\\nYou may have more free time than people with children and be less stressed. Use the time to be intimate and keep your relationship fresh. A great sex life has proven a key factor in enduring relationships. Childless couples report better sex lives and often greater happiness, so spend time with each other. Even just cuddling can allow you to develop your bond.\\n2-7. Exercise together.\\nThere is a clear correlation between fitness and happiness. Child-free couples may have more opportunities to exercise together, so take advantage of your free time to work out with each other.\\nExercise together at a gym, at home or outdoors. You can motivate each other to reach fitness goals. Your relationship will benefit and you will have personal health benefits as well.\\nJoin a co-ed recreational sports team. Check with your local parks to see what is in season. You will enjoy the experience together and meet other people together.\\n3. Spending Time With Others' Children\\n3-1. Dote on other people’s children.\\nJust because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you don’t like them. Enjoy helping and spending time with children of family members and friends. Offer to take your nieces or nephews out to a movie or arcade. You will enjoy yourself and give a much needed break to the parents.\\n3-2. Volunteer with a children’s organization.\\nStudies show the more people volunteer the happier they are. The opportunities are endless:\\nIf you like to read, sign up to read at an elementary school. Call the school parent association and ask if they have a Literacy Committee. Most schools love volunteer readers. You could also go to your local library and see if they have guest readers for story time.\\nYouth coaches are always looking for assistants. Check with the schools and youth athletic organizations to share your love of a sport. Most schools and organizations will do a background check and then welcome you for much needed assistance.\\nCheck with a family homeless shelter and see if they need any homework help for the school-age children living there..\\nHelp with a holiday event at the local children's hospital.\\n3-3. Host a neighborhood family picnic.\\nUse a handy online sign up sheet to host a potluck picnic. You can provide location and activities while guest bring their favorite dishes. Plan some games and crafts and enjoy participating with the neighborhood kids.\\nTips\\nWhile your home may be couple centered versus child centered, be sure to maintain individual interests as well.\\nDo not feel alone with your childless family. The numbers are greater than you think.\\nWarnings\\nOthers may think you selfish for not having kids. It is not selfish to make a choice best for your own life goals..\\nWhile you may not have child stress, all lives have stress and conflict to deal with.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being childless can be a personal choice or the fate of infertility. While it does not mean you dislike children, it does allow for more time to invest in other things. Regardless of the reason you do not have children, you can be happy, as life without children can be very rewarding and fulfilling.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Fulfillment Without Children\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on your career.\", \"描述\": \"If you are looking to advance in your job or to learn new working skills, you may be happier without the hindrance of child rearing responsibilities distracting you from your career. You may have more time than some of your parent peers to devote to work, in which case you can take this as an opportunity to immerse yourself fully and enjoy career success.\\nChart a career path by working only the jobs that interest you, trusting your gut about which positions you accept, and developing a professional network.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Travel more.\", \"描述\": \"Raising a child is an expensive endeavor. If you do not have children you may have additional disposable income, and if you love traveling, you can take this as an opportunity to do more of that.\\nYou could consider vacation destinations exclusively for the over-21 crowd if you want a truly child-free experience. You might also set a travel goal and plan a lifetime of travel alone or with your partner. In addition to expanding yourself culturally, you will meet a host of interesting people, and if you love interacting with others, this may just be the perfect way to attain happiness without having a child.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a course to learn about investing for retirement.\", \"描述\": \"Savings goals are very different for people with no children than they are for people with children. With the cost of raising children being so high, you may have more money than your counterparts with children which you could direct towards the purposes of learning how to invest. Without the stress of paying for your kids' college or leaving an inheritance, you may even be able to retire earlier than individuals with children. In the long run, you can benefit from learning different investment strategies.\\nLook up courses about investing for retirement in your community's classifieds or by doing a Google search on the topic.\\nYou could also join a regular Meetup group in your area about investing for retirement. That way, you can also meet others who are in the same boat and you can learn from each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of alone time.\", \"描述\": \"Make time, even if it's just five minutes, in your day to be by yourself. The benefits are plentiful and range from increased creativity to peace of mind and tranquility. You could:\\nStart a project. Being alone can recharge you and increase your creativity. If you have a project - for work, for fun - that you've been putting off or just think would be entertaining to try, now is the time.\\nGet more work done. Alone time can clear your mind and help you focus and work harder. Use your alone time to check something off your work “to do” list, without distraction. Checking something off your list will enable you to better enjoy your time off.\\nGo on an adventure alone. When you are more insulated, making social connections can actually be easier, because you've put yourself in a situation where you likely want to have more social interactions. If you're typically extroverted, this can be a good way to increase your happiness levels. So take a day trip by yourself, even if is to a local park; use it to recharge and meet new people.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bonding with Your Partner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a new hobby together.\", \"描述\": \"You can spend quality time with your partner while learning something new. There are many hobbies that can bring you “start to finish” together time. In fact, child-free couples often report happier partnerships as they prioritize time differently than those with children and can often invest more time into their relationship than their peers with children. \\nFor example, many couples enjoy gardening together. From going to the garden center to planting seasonal flowers, you can spend quality time with each other. You can enjoy the small talk of things you are learning about as well as enjoying the quiet sounds of the outdoors and the serene feeling the quiet brings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attend events near you.\", \"描述\": \"Page through the Sunday paper or an online events calendar to see what events are going on around you. There are probably things you have never considered and you may find yourself enjoying a new and unexpected experience with your partner. From music and beverage tours to many different arts festivals, you can usually find something fun to do with your significant other.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan a romantic weekend getaway.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you prefer the mountains or beach, love a winery or brewery, or enjoy arts or sports, there is a getaway for everyone. From Travelocity to Kayak to Orbitz, there are numerous online room booking sources for hotels and B&Bs. You could even consider renting a place through a service like Airbnb. Online coupons can make such a getaway affordable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Begin planning for your dream vacation destination.\", \"描述\": \"Set goals to achieve the plan, such as how to save up money and when to go. Even if the trip doesn't come to fruition, you'll still have spent quality time with each other.\\nBegin with a realistic savings plan. Learn about different saving strategies and find one that fits you. A little bit will add up over time.\\nConsider your calendar and timing. Planning well ahead will prevent last minute conflicts. Consider your work schedule and consider how holidays affect your destination.\\nBegin to learn a new language. It will add to the excitement. You can speak it to each other to practice.The planning and anticipation can be half the fun.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enjoy a staycation.\", \"描述\": \"You can plan a romantic weekend at home and save money. Unplug! You will be surprised once you get over the initial uncomfortable feeling, how liberating it feels. You and your partner will enjoy being the center of each other’s attention as well as the quiet time. Stay in your pajamas until noon and then prepare brunch together. There are so many ways to relax and be happy at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be intimate with your partner.\", \"描述\": \"You may have more free time than people with children and be less stressed. Use the time to be intimate and keep your relationship fresh. A great sex life has proven a key factor in enduring relationships. Childless couples report better sex lives and often greater happiness, so spend time with each other. Even just cuddling can allow you to develop your bond.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Exercise together.\", \"描述\": \"There is a clear correlation between fitness and happiness. Child-free couples may have more opportunities to exercise together, so take advantage of your free time to work out with each other.\\nExercise together at a gym, at home or outdoors. You can motivate each other to reach fitness goals. Your relationship will benefit and you will have personal health benefits as well.\\nJoin a co-ed recreational sports team. Check with your local parks to see what is in season. You will enjoy the experience together and meet other people together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spending Time With Others' Children\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dote on other people’s children.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean you don’t like them. Enjoy helping and spending time with children of family members and friends. Offer to take your nieces or nephews out to a movie or arcade. You will enjoy yourself and give a much needed break to the parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Volunteer with a children’s organization.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show the more people volunteer the happier they are. The opportunities are endless:\\nIf you like to read, sign up to read at an elementary school. Call the school parent association and ask if they have a Literacy Committee. Most schools love volunteer readers. You could also go to your local library and see if they have guest readers for story time.\\nYouth coaches are always looking for assistants. Check with the schools and youth athletic organizations to share your love of a sport. Most schools and organizations will do a background check and then welcome you for much needed assistance.\\nCheck with a family homeless shelter and see if they need any homework help for the school-age children living there..\\nHelp with a holiday event at the local children's hospital.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Host a neighborhood family picnic.\", \"描述\": \"Use a handy online sign up sheet to host a potluck picnic. You can provide location and activities while guest bring their favorite dishes. Plan some games and crafts and enjoy participating with the neighborhood kids.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While your home may be couple centered versus child centered, be sure to maintain individual interests as well.\\n\", \"Do not feel alone with your childless family. The numbers are greater than you think.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Others may think you selfish for not having kids. It is not selfish to make a choice best for your own life goals..\\n\", \"While you may not have child stress, all lives have stress and conflict to deal with.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,809 | How to Be Happy Without Remembering Anything About the Past | 1. Are you Living in the Past?
1-1. Know when you are stuck in the past.
Be wary if you are doing any or all of the following:
Thinking "if only" all of the time. This is an indication that you're still trying to change the past rather than learning to live with what happened and moving on.
You still think you haven't got what you want from life, even many years after wanting this "something".
You continuously express being fed up with things without actually doing anything to change them. You catch yourself saying "it has always been this way", as if it's impossible to make changes.
You are scared that bad things will happen because you believe that that is all that ever happens.
Controlling situations and people drives a lot of what you do and think about. You feel that if you can only control people or situations, they won't turn out like the past.
You obsess about something that happened and feel steeped in blame, shame or anger.
1-2. Consider your usual emotions.
Do you feel negative emotions most of the time? If you often explode in anger, feel that your emotions are out of control or avoid being truthful to others, you may be allowing the past to drive you.
1-3. Consider how often you go over things that have happened to you.
If you rethink and rethink the past, you are most definitely stuck in it.
Do you find yourself replaying past situations and assigning blame? Do you feel shame? Are you angry with others or at something you can't put your finger on?
Are you reliving things just to place your fault in it each time?
2. Distancing Yourself from the Past
2-1. Remove yourself from past experiences.
Seek to stop thinking about the past over and over again. This is especially important if all that you do is relive bad situations and keep apportioning blame, either on yourself or others, or between both.
2-2. Realize that every person changes over time.
If you feel enmeshed with someone from the past, be aware that this person would have changed over time. Moreover, we are all multi-faceted people and display different sides of ourselves towards different people or at different times. Making a snapshot in time of any particular incident causes it to stay stuck and exaggerates only a single aspect of how a person behaved at the time; it fails to account for change, for nuances and for the reality that other people won't be like that person was.
2-3. Remove recurring bad thoughts.
If something bad happened in the past, if you lost someone or a prized possession, if you suffered a breakup, realize that these are things that form part of life. Sure, they can reduce your confidence, break your heart and cause you to feel lost for a time but they are not a reason or excuse to spend the remainder of your life in a fog or trying to drown yourself in sorrow, drugs or anger. When thoughts of whatever happened resurface, train yourself to watch the thought rather than swim inside of it. See it form, see it try to take shape and see it aiming to sap your energy. Then push it away from you and tell that thought that you've noted it but that it's now time for it to move along and make room for a thought you're more interested in having.
Have a mental list of things to think about that leave you feeling positive. For example, think about achievements, tomorrow's task list, friends you care about, a favorite pet, a planned vacation, a hoped-for renovation, etc. Insert the more positive experience for the negative thought.
Do not make a bad experience in the past into something bigger than it ever deserved to be. It can become a bad habit, a reason for not moving on, if you allow it to be such.
2-4. Minimize the amount of sad songs you listen to.
Try not to listen to them because sad songs increase the likelihood of feeling down and even depressed.
2-5. Apologize.
Sometimes it is helpful to apologize about your part in something, allowing you to move beyond it.
3. Building Yourself in the Now
3-1. Believe in yourself.
The person you are now is the person who matters. The past has taught you lessons but it doesn't define you. What is important is to reach within yourself and find your strengths and the values you follow now. This is who you are, not some figment of the past.
3-2. Avoid putting yourself down.
Don't think you were deserving of something bad or that the person who did something to you was in the right. You deserved better and the situation is well and truly over and gone.
3-3. Rediscover the elements of yourself you've always believed in.
Think about the things that you love about yourself, and feel pride about. Put these front and center of your life right now.
4. Finding Support
4-1. Try hanging out with a friend you trust the most.
Recall happy childhood memories. Go on trips, picnics, movies and other fun things with your friends. Enjoy the present and their friendship.
4-2. Talk to people who care about you and who are not equally tied up in the past.
Sometimes family members are part of the problem, as they keep reliving the same event and seek to control the rest of the family. If this is the case, keep clear of these people as much as possible. However, sometimes family members can help you move on, so make wise choices about the people you spend time around. Friends, family and colleagues can all be potential sources of support, as can therapists and your doctor.
4-3. Stop thinking about what others are going to say if they heard your feelings.
Try to share them with someone who is trustworthy. Every person needs the chance to talk about how they feel with people who are kind, thoughtful and willing to listen.
5. Doing Positive Things
5-1. Face the past and move on.
Try your best not to run from your past but rather face it accept it and try living with it.
5-2. Volunteer.
Spending time with others is a great way to build a new life and way of seeing the world. Helping others can help you to overcome being stuck in place, focused only on your own issues.
Consider joining a cause, volunteering with a local or community group or helping people to achieve something you all believe matters for now and into the future.
Help others to overcome being stuck in the past. Listen to people attentively and help them find more positive perspectives and ways forward in their lives.
5-3. Focus more on the future.
Set yourself some goals to achieve. Look forward instead of backward. Learn from your mistakes by discovering how to overcome things that held you back before. Be prepared to keep learning, to learn new skills and overcome past prejudices or mental blockages.
5-4. Get some hobbies.
If you don't already have a hobby or two, investigate some. Do something interesting, such as playing an instrument, painting, cooking or taking up a new sport.
Join a club or community with the same interest.
If you don't want to be around other people, choose a hobby that can be done in solitude, such as reading, painting, writing or making things.
5-5. Leave all the things and the situations on time.
Time is a great healer; as time passes you'll soon forget your past and make sure you don't just remember the past and cry about it. Whether good or bad, it has gone and will never come back; what you did wrong was a mistake that now cannot be cured, but can be vowed not to do the same thing again.
Tips
Be kind to yourself. Respect yourself as a human being. Love yourself.
Don't just let your darker side cover your lighter/playful side.
Regrets may help you feel better, but you may (at times) lose confidence in yourself.
Warnings
Accept your mistakes and try to live with them, and never let your past step on your present and future.
Never try to defy yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Are you Living in the Past?\\n1-1. Know when you are stuck in the past.\\nBe wary if you are doing any or all of the following:\\nThinking \\\"if only\\\" all of the time. This is an indication that you're still trying to change the past rather than learning to live with what happened and moving on.\\nYou still think you haven't got what you want from life, even many years after wanting this \\\"something\\\".\\nYou continuously express being fed up with things without actually doing anything to change them. You catch yourself saying \\\"it has always been this way\\\", as if it's impossible to make changes.\\nYou are scared that bad things will happen because you believe that that is all that ever happens.\\nControlling situations and people drives a lot of what you do and think about. You feel that if you can only control people or situations, they won't turn out like the past.\\nYou obsess about something that happened and feel steeped in blame, shame or anger.\\n1-2. Consider your usual emotions.\\nDo you feel negative emotions most of the time? If you often explode in anger, feel that your emotions are out of control or avoid being truthful to others, you may be allowing the past to drive you.\\n1-3. Consider how often you go over things that have happened to you.\\nIf you rethink and rethink the past, you are most definitely stuck in it.\\nDo you find yourself replaying past situations and assigning blame? Do you feel shame? Are you angry with others or at something you can't put your finger on?\\nAre you reliving things just to place your fault in it each time?\\n2. Distancing Yourself from the Past\\n2-1. Remove yourself from past experiences.\\nSeek to stop thinking about the past over and over again. This is especially important if all that you do is relive bad situations and keep apportioning blame, either on yourself or others, or between both.\\n2-2. Realize that every person changes over time.\\nIf you feel enmeshed with someone from the past, be aware that this person would have changed over time. Moreover, we are all multi-faceted people and display different sides of ourselves towards different people or at different times. Making a snapshot in time of any particular incident causes it to stay stuck and exaggerates only a single aspect of how a person behaved at the time; it fails to account for change, for nuances and for the reality that other people won't be like that person was.\\n2-3. Remove recurring bad thoughts.\\nIf something bad happened in the past, if you lost someone or a prized possession, if you suffered a breakup, realize that these are things that form part of life. Sure, they can reduce your confidence, break your heart and cause you to feel lost for a time but they are not a reason or excuse to spend the remainder of your life in a fog or trying to drown yourself in sorrow, drugs or anger. When thoughts of whatever happened resurface, train yourself to watch the thought rather than swim inside of it. See it form, see it try to take shape and see it aiming to sap your energy. Then push it away from you and tell that thought that you've noted it but that it's now time for it to move along and make room for a thought you're more interested in having.\\nHave a mental list of things to think about that leave you feeling positive. For example, think about achievements, tomorrow's task list, friends you care about, a favorite pet, a planned vacation, a hoped-for renovation, etc. Insert the more positive experience for the negative thought.\\nDo not make a bad experience in the past into something bigger than it ever deserved to be. It can become a bad habit, a reason for not moving on, if you allow it to be such.\\n2-4. Minimize the amount of sad songs you listen to.\\nTry not to listen to them because sad songs increase the likelihood of feeling down and even depressed.\\n2-5. Apologize.\\nSometimes it is helpful to apologize about your part in something, allowing you to move beyond it.\\n3. Building Yourself in the Now\\n3-1. Believe in yourself.\\nThe person you are now is the person who matters. The past has taught you lessons but it doesn't define you. What is important is to reach within yourself and find your strengths and the values you follow now. This is who you are, not some figment of the past.\\n3-2. Avoid putting yourself down.\\nDon't think you were deserving of something bad or that the person who did something to you was in the right. You deserved better and the situation is well and truly over and gone.\\n3-3. Rediscover the elements of yourself you've always believed in.\\nThink about the things that you love about yourself, and feel pride about. Put these front and center of your life right now.\\n4. Finding Support\\n4-1. Try hanging out with a friend you trust the most.\\nRecall happy childhood memories. Go on trips, picnics, movies and other fun things with your friends. Enjoy the present and their friendship.\\n4-2. Talk to people who care about you and who are not equally tied up in the past.\\nSometimes family members are part of the problem, as they keep reliving the same event and seek to control the rest of the family. If this is the case, keep clear of these people as much as possible. However, sometimes family members can help you move on, so make wise choices about the people you spend time around. Friends, family and colleagues can all be potential sources of support, as can therapists and your doctor.\\n4-3. Stop thinking about what others are going to say if they heard your feelings.\\nTry to share them with someone who is trustworthy. Every person needs the chance to talk about how they feel with people who are kind, thoughtful and willing to listen.\\n5. Doing Positive Things\\n5-1. Face the past and move on.\\nTry your best not to run from your past but rather face it accept it and try living with it.\\n5-2. Volunteer.\\nSpending time with others is a great way to build a new life and way of seeing the world. Helping others can help you to overcome being stuck in place, focused only on your own issues.\\nConsider joining a cause, volunteering with a local or community group or helping people to achieve something you all believe matters for now and into the future.\\nHelp others to overcome being stuck in the past. Listen to people attentively and help them find more positive perspectives and ways forward in their lives.\\n5-3. Focus more on the future.\\nSet yourself some goals to achieve. Look forward instead of backward. Learn from your mistakes by discovering how to overcome things that held you back before. Be prepared to keep learning, to learn new skills and overcome past prejudices or mental blockages.\\n5-4. Get some hobbies.\\nIf you don't already have a hobby or two, investigate some. Do something interesting, such as playing an instrument, painting, cooking or taking up a new sport.\\nJoin a club or community with the same interest.\\nIf you don't want to be around other people, choose a hobby that can be done in solitude, such as reading, painting, writing or making things.\\n5-5. Leave all the things and the situations on time.\\nTime is a great healer; as time passes you'll soon forget your past and make sure you don't just remember the past and cry about it. Whether good or bad, it has gone and will never come back; what you did wrong was a mistake that now cannot be cured, but can be vowed not to do the same thing again.\\nTips\\nBe kind to yourself. Respect yourself as a human being. Love yourself.\\nDon't just let your darker side cover your lighter/playful side.\\nRegrets may help you feel better, but you may (at times) lose confidence in yourself.\\nWarnings\\nAccept your mistakes and try to live with them, and never let your past step on your present and future.\\nNever try to defy yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may as well know that the past is not something to worry about. However, beyond this fact, many people don't even dare to get out of the past and live in present but rather opt for and just repeatedly live on what went wrong in the past. Fortunately, it is perfectly possible to be happy without remembering the past.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Are you Living in the Past?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know when you are stuck in the past.\", \"描述\": \"Be wary if you are doing any or all of the following:\\nThinking \\\"if only\\\" all of the time. This is an indication that you're still trying to change the past rather than learning to live with what happened and moving on.\\nYou still think you haven't got what you want from life, even many years after wanting this \\\"something\\\".\\nYou continuously express being fed up with things without actually doing anything to change them. You catch yourself saying \\\"it has always been this way\\\", as if it's impossible to make changes.\\nYou are scared that bad things will happen because you believe that that is all that ever happens.\\nControlling situations and people drives a lot of what you do and think about. You feel that if you can only control people or situations, they won't turn out like the past.\\nYou obsess about something that happened and feel steeped in blame, shame or anger.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider your usual emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Do you feel negative emotions most of the time? If you often explode in anger, feel that your emotions are out of control or avoid being truthful to others, you may be allowing the past to drive you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider how often you go over things that have happened to you.\", \"描述\": \"If you rethink and rethink the past, you are most definitely stuck in it.\\nDo you find yourself replaying past situations and assigning blame? Do you feel shame? Are you angry with others or at something you can't put your finger on?\\nAre you reliving things just to place your fault in it each time?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Distancing Yourself from the Past\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remove yourself from past experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Seek to stop thinking about the past over and over again. This is especially important if all that you do is relive bad situations and keep apportioning blame, either on yourself or others, or between both.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Realize that every person changes over time.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel enmeshed with someone from the past, be aware that this person would have changed over time. Moreover, we are all multi-faceted people and display different sides of ourselves towards different people or at different times. Making a snapshot in time of any particular incident causes it to stay stuck and exaggerates only a single aspect of how a person behaved at the time; it fails to account for change, for nuances and for the reality that other people won't be like that person was.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remove recurring bad thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"If something bad happened in the past, if you lost someone or a prized possession, if you suffered a breakup, realize that these are things that form part of life. Sure, they can reduce your confidence, break your heart and cause you to feel lost for a time but they are not a reason or excuse to spend the remainder of your life in a fog or trying to drown yourself in sorrow, drugs or anger. When thoughts of whatever happened resurface, train yourself to watch the thought rather than swim inside of it. See it form, see it try to take shape and see it aiming to sap your energy. Then push it away from you and tell that thought that you've noted it but that it's now time for it to move along and make room for a thought you're more interested in having.\\nHave a mental list of things to think about that leave you feeling positive. For example, think about achievements, tomorrow's task list, friends you care about, a favorite pet, a planned vacation, a hoped-for renovation, etc. Insert the more positive experience for the negative thought.\\nDo not make a bad experience in the past into something bigger than it ever deserved to be. It can become a bad habit, a reason for not moving on, if you allow it to be such.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Minimize the amount of sad songs you listen to.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to listen to them because sad songs increase the likelihood of feeling down and even depressed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apologize.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it is helpful to apologize about your part in something, allowing you to move beyond it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building Yourself in the Now\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Believe in yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The person you are now is the person who matters. The past has taught you lessons but it doesn't define you. What is important is to reach within yourself and find your strengths and the values you follow now. This is who you are, not some figment of the past.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid putting yourself down.\", \"描述\": \"Don't think you were deserving of something bad or that the person who did something to you was in the right. You deserved better and the situation is well and truly over and gone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rediscover the elements of yourself you've always believed in.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the things that you love about yourself, and feel pride about. Put these front and center of your life right now.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Finding Support\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try hanging out with a friend you trust the most.\", \"描述\": \"Recall happy childhood memories. Go on trips, picnics, movies and other fun things with your friends. Enjoy the present and their friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to people who care about you and who are not equally tied up in the past.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes family members are part of the problem, as they keep reliving the same event and seek to control the rest of the family. If this is the case, keep clear of these people as much as possible. However, sometimes family members can help you move on, so make wise choices about the people you spend time around. Friends, family and colleagues can all be potential sources of support, as can therapists and your doctor.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop thinking about what others are going to say if they heard your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Try to share them with someone who is trustworthy. Every person needs the chance to talk about how they feel with people who are kind, thoughtful and willing to listen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Doing Positive Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Face the past and move on.\", \"描述\": \"Try your best not to run from your past but rather face it accept it and try living with it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Volunteer.\", \"描述\": \"Spending time with others is a great way to build a new life and way of seeing the world. Helping others can help you to overcome being stuck in place, focused only on your own issues.\\nConsider joining a cause, volunteering with a local or community group or helping people to achieve something you all believe matters for now and into the future.\\nHelp others to overcome being stuck in the past. Listen to people attentively and help them find more positive perspectives and ways forward in their lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus more on the future.\", \"描述\": \"Set yourself some goals to achieve. Look forward instead of backward. Learn from your mistakes by discovering how to overcome things that held you back before. Be prepared to keep learning, to learn new skills and overcome past prejudices or mental blockages.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get some hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't already have a hobby or two, investigate some. Do something interesting, such as playing an instrument, painting, cooking or taking up a new sport.\\nJoin a club or community with the same interest.\\nIf you don't want to be around other people, choose a hobby that can be done in solitude, such as reading, painting, writing or making things.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Leave all the things and the situations on time.\", \"描述\": \"Time is a great healer; as time passes you'll soon forget your past and make sure you don't just remember the past and cry about it. Whether good or bad, it has gone and will never come back; what you did wrong was a mistake that now cannot be cured, but can be vowed not to do the same thing again.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be kind to yourself. Respect yourself as a human being. Love yourself.\\n\", \"Don't just let your darker side cover your lighter/playful side.\\n\", \"Regrets may help you feel better, but you may (at times) lose confidence in yourself.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Accept your mistakes and try to live with them, and never let your past step on your present and future.\\n\", \"Never try to defy yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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3,810 | How to Be Happy and Love Yourself Even when Everyone Puts You Down | 1. Handling Emotional Fallout from Put-Downs
1-1. Respond with finesse.
Learning assertiveness and the finesse of pointing out the harmful, critical patterns of others in a loving and productive way is in an important step toward dealing with put downs. Cultivate power by standing up for yourself and altering the environment to prevent future put-downs.
Being assertive is different than being aggressive. Try speaking clearly and maintaining eye contact while being a receptive listener
Communicating assertively can help increase self confidence, gain the respect of others, improve decision-making skills, and enable conflict resolution.
1-2. Accept reality.
Often people are too different to be able to see eye to eye. You will come across many people who don't make you feel particularly good to be around, and others will feel the same way about you. The key is to see that, even though not all people are meant to be friends, this does not make you or the other person bad. Incompatibility is just another part of life that we can learn to respond to with grace or with defensiveness and cruelty. When somebody puts you down, it's about that person and not you. Here are the top reasons people might criticize you:
They are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. so they are trying to level the playing field.
They have a concern about your motivation, skill level, performance or contribution.
They feel you are not doing your share of the work or being a team player.
They have a strong unmet need that is not being satisfied.
They have a controlling personality and have to be in charge.
They feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.
They want to make you look bad so as to advance their own position or curry favor with the bosses, etc.
They feel insecure and are overcompensating.
They think you are making them look bad in front of others.
1-3. Take stock of your choices.
When we feel hurt or put down, it is easy to take the position of the victim and assume there’s nothing we can do to change these bad feelings. Seeing that there are always choices you can make to improve your situation, try to think about your options for responding and your approach moving forward.
For instance, if a peer at school consistently puts you down, remember that you always have the choice to ignore that person entirely. If you feel that this is not the best way to handle the problem, think about who can get involved to help you assert your desire for some distance.
In a public forum, such as a meeting, you may want to argue for the value of your decision or work and correct any misperceptions.
With family or friends, you may want to let them know that you genuinely want to understand their concerns, but that you don't always agree. Depending on the situation, you may want to assert yourself by saying, "Let's agree to disagree."
With aggressive children or teenagers, you may want to acknowledge that their feeling is legitimate, but that they need to work on a more respectful delivery.
1-4. Learn to re-frame your current situation.
If you've just been put down, you probably feel embarrassed, upset, or filled with a sense of injustice. While these feelings shouldn't be denied, see that they also offer you paths besides feeling stuck in them. View the put down as a learning experience that is giving you practice for how to be more resilient in the face of whatever comes.
After all, life is full of situations that we wouldn't necessarily choose, and the way we respond to these situations is the difference between ruminating in sadness and getting excited about how much hurt you can learn to let go of
Understand what happened on your own terms. Ask yourself, according to your own values: What went well? What didn’t go well? What can I do better next time?
Try practicing mindfulness in the moment. It can be helpful to remove yourself from the hurt emotions and take a moment to ask what the put downs say about the other person.
1-5. Check your thinking for negativity traps.
It is much easier to look realistically at what has happened to us and where we can go from the put-down when we drop thoughts that skew our thoughts into exaggerated, negative evaluations of our situations. The following are some examples ways of thinking that make it difficult to see the reality of our situation:
Fortune telling is when we assume that things will turn out badly without having any real basis for this prediction.
Black-and-white thinking is when we only look at things in terms of extreme judgments. In black-and-white thinking everything is either good or bad (even if reality tells us that things are too complicated for this sort of judgment).
Mind-reading is when we think we know what others are thinking (and it’s usually the worst about us!) In reality, we can’t know what others are thinking.
Labelling is when we choose a simple label like “stupid” or “ugly” to describe a behavior, situation, or person that is much too complex to be summed up in just one word. Labels are usually negative and make us forget the other aspects in play.
1-6. Seek meaning from put downs.
It is easy to ask yourself, "Why me?" in tough situations. Getting stuck in the "why me" mindframe can make it hard to see the lessons that always come with hardships. Seek meaning by changing "Why me?" questions to questions like "What do I now see about why and how some people put others down?" or "What can I do to play a role in stopping the cruelty that I have experienced?"
The most resilient people come up with constructs about their suffering, ways to see the message that they are receiving about life through their suffering. This is means the situation is meaningful despite being uncomfortable.
1-7. Laugh off the put down.
In many situations, the putdown that you hear will have very little to do with who you are and what happened in reality. In these cases the put down may not even be worth gratifying with serious consideration about the incident or what you could have done differently.
Think about the absurdity of judging yourself based on one single instance. It doesn't make much sense to think that one slip-up or one person's opinion of you should factor into your sense of who you are, does it?
Try laughing about the fact that you are much more complex than one putdown could possibly capture.
1-8. Shift your focus to something you can control.
There are so many things that we cannot control, including others’ decisions. So, bouncing back can be made easier by rediscovering your ability to have a positive impact. Work on something that you can control, like an art project or a challenging new assignment at work or in school. Observe yourself being dedicated to something (and rocking it!) to remember that you are capable of contributing lots of good to the world around you.
1-9. Seek social support.
Friends, family, and other supportive relationships in your life are very important to your ability to bounce back from putdowns. Make sure that you have people in your life who will listen to you speak freely about painful experiences without judgment.
Keep your support system close, even when these people are not with you physically. When you feel kicked around by the world, think about these people. What do they show you about the good in your personality? How does it feel to be around them? Then, you can be the person you are when you're around them even in their absence.
1-10. Know when to seek outside help.
If you are being put down time and time again by the same person or group of people, you may be a dealing with bullying. Bullying is a serious offense, and it's important to reach out to your teachers, parents, or counselors who can help put an end to the problem. The following are signs that you are being bullied and should seek help:
The put down involves actions like making threats, spreading rumors, launching physical or verbal attacks, and purposeful exclusion.
The person bullying you has power over you, like physical strength, popularity, or access to information that can be used to harm or embarrass you.
The behavior happens more than once and has the potential to continue.
2. Learning to Love Yourself More
2-1. Shed shame
If you are trying to love yourself more, shame is one of your worst enemies--it tells you that simply being you is something fundamentally bad or wrong. Since shame is usually directed toward the parts of you that you try to hide, writing about your deeper feelings (even the ones that make you embarrassed or disgusted) can help you come to understand that there is nothing wrong with what's inside. When you journal, write about the difficulties and pains that you encountered throughout the day, including things you judged yourself about.
For each painful moment or event, practice re-framing the experience through a lens of compassion. Think about what you learned from what happened and be generous to yourself regarding how you acted, knowing that you have plenty of opportunities to respond differently.
Try writing in a journal each day for a couple weeks to get comfortable with your own perspective. You might be surprised when you read back over your entries--look at this inquisitive, sensitive person who must've been writing!
Get in the habit of reframing your point of view whenever you think negative, self-shaming thoughts. Would you say those types of things if you were speaking to somebody else? If so, you shouldn't be saying them to yourself.
2-2. Work on self-acceptance.
In a world so focused on progress and improvement, we can easily forget the importance of accepting the things about ourselves that we cannot change. You have unique gifts and shortcomings that make you who you are. Acceptance of yourself and your feelings, rather than forcefully shutting them out, can help you to work with what you have. This will help you discover who you are and what you're truly capable of (and not just what you think you should be capable of).
Acceptance has been shown to contribute directly to self-love by reducing the shame that tells us that we are not good enough or that we would be more desirable people if we could feel and act otherwise.
One thing that everyone must accept is that the past cannot be changed or overwritten. Since this is the case, focus on the future--what you do have control over is how you learn from and respond to the situations that you find yourself in currently.
Self-appreciation isn't something you'll develop overnight—it takes time and effort.
2-3. Develop your values
Strong values are help fill our lives with meaning that is personal to us. This is because knowing your values offers you ways to understand what's happening around you. Your values will also clue you in to the put downs that matter to you in the grand scheme, and let you know when these setbacks are just insignificant bouts of negativity that can be ignored.
For example, say your values prioritize celebrating accomplishments and you go out to a restaurant with friends to celebrate a promotion. If you get some eye-rolls from neighboring tables for wearing party hats and glitter, who cares? You are acting according to your values and not others' standards for proper celebratory behavior.
2-4. Take responsibility for your general well-being.
Are you on top of the habits that contribute to your overall lifestyle? Pay attention to the things that are very important but easily slip through the cracks, and take care of yourself as if you are caring for a loved one (because you are!).
Do you eat well? Ask yourself whether or not you have consistent means to provide yourself with nutrient-rich foods that your body needs.
How much sleep are you getting? Do you frequently feel tired during the day due to lack of steady sleeping habits?
What about exercise? Getting 30 minutes of brisk cardiovascular exercise each day improves mood, overall functioning, and reduces risk of chronic illnesses.
2-5. Focus on your interests.
Spend time by yourself learning what you like to do or fostering hobbies and interests that you already have. Seek out your passions and talents and dedicate a certain amount of time doing what you love each week. Maybe your thing is writing short stories or cooking the meals your mom used to make when you were young. By simply reconnecting with your favorite activities you make your world a little more accommodating to your deeper needs that are easily overlooked when work, school, and other duties stress you out.
2-6. Learn to relax.
In our fast paced world, relaxation is hard to come by--and all the more important because of its rare occasion. When you intentionally take steps to relax, you are giving yourself a great gift and affirming to yourself that you deserve this break at the same time. The following are some tools you can learn in order to put together an effective relaxation regime for whenever you should need it:
Mindfulness meditation
Yoga
Deep breathing
Progressive muscle relaxation
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"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Handling Emotional Fallout from Put-Downs\\n1-1. Respond with finesse.\\nLearning assertiveness and the finesse of pointing out the harmful, critical patterns of others in a loving and productive way is in an important step toward dealing with put downs. Cultivate power by standing up for yourself and altering the environment to prevent future put-downs.\\nBeing assertive is different than being aggressive. Try speaking clearly and maintaining eye contact while being a receptive listener\\nCommunicating assertively can help increase self confidence, gain the respect of others, improve decision-making skills, and enable conflict resolution.\\n1-2. Accept reality.\\nOften people are too different to be able to see eye to eye. You will come across many people who don't make you feel particularly good to be around, and others will feel the same way about you. The key is to see that, even though not all people are meant to be friends, this does not make you or the other person bad. Incompatibility is just another part of life that we can learn to respond to with grace or with defensiveness and cruelty. When somebody puts you down, it's about that person and not you. Here are the top reasons people might criticize you:\\nThey are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. so they are trying to level the playing field.\\nThey have a concern about your motivation, skill level, performance or contribution.\\nThey feel you are not doing your share of the work or being a team player.\\nThey have a strong unmet need that is not being satisfied.\\nThey have a controlling personality and have to be in charge.\\nThey feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.\\nThey want to make you look bad so as to advance their own position or curry favor with the bosses, etc.\\nThey feel insecure and are overcompensating.\\nThey think you are making them look bad in front of others.\\n1-3. Take stock of your choices.\\nWhen we feel hurt or put down, it is easy to take the position of the victim and assume there’s nothing we can do to change these bad feelings. Seeing that there are always choices you can make to improve your situation, try to think about your options for responding and your approach moving forward.\\nFor instance, if a peer at school consistently puts you down, remember that you always have the choice to ignore that person entirely. If you feel that this is not the best way to handle the problem, think about who can get involved to help you assert your desire for some distance.\\nIn a public forum, such as a meeting, you may want to argue for the value of your decision or work and correct any misperceptions.\\nWith family or friends, you may want to let them know that you genuinely want to understand their concerns, but that you don't always agree. Depending on the situation, you may want to assert yourself by saying, \\\"Let's agree to disagree.\\\"\\nWith aggressive children or teenagers, you may want to acknowledge that their feeling is legitimate, but that they need to work on a more respectful delivery.\\n1-4. Learn to re-frame your current situation.\\nIf you've just been put down, you probably feel embarrassed, upset, or filled with a sense of injustice. While these feelings shouldn't be denied, see that they also offer you paths besides feeling stuck in them. View the put down as a learning experience that is giving you practice for how to be more resilient in the face of whatever comes.\\nAfter all, life is full of situations that we wouldn't necessarily choose, and the way we respond to these situations is the difference between ruminating in sadness and getting excited about how much hurt you can learn to let go of\\nUnderstand what happened on your own terms. Ask yourself, according to your own values: What went well? What didn’t go well? What can I do better next time?\\nTry practicing mindfulness in the moment. It can be helpful to remove yourself from the hurt emotions and take a moment to ask what the put downs say about the other person.\\n1-5. Check your thinking for negativity traps.\\nIt is much easier to look realistically at what has happened to us and where we can go from the put-down when we drop thoughts that skew our thoughts into exaggerated, negative evaluations of our situations. The following are some examples ways of thinking that make it difficult to see the reality of our situation:\\nFortune telling is when we assume that things will turn out badly without having any real basis for this prediction.\\nBlack-and-white thinking is when we only look at things in terms of extreme judgments. In black-and-white thinking everything is either good or bad (even if reality tells us that things are too complicated for this sort of judgment).\\nMind-reading is when we think we know what others are thinking (and it’s usually the worst about us!) In reality, we can’t know what others are thinking.\\nLabelling is when we choose a simple label like “stupid” or “ugly” to describe a behavior, situation, or person that is much too complex to be summed up in just one word. Labels are usually negative and make us forget the other aspects in play.\\n1-6. Seek meaning from put downs.\\nIt is easy to ask yourself, \\\"Why me?\\\" in tough situations. Getting stuck in the \\\"why me\\\" mindframe can make it hard to see the lessons that always come with hardships. Seek meaning by changing \\\"Why me?\\\" questions to questions like \\\"What do I now see about why and how some people put others down?\\\" or \\\"What can I do to play a role in stopping the cruelty that I have experienced?\\\"\\nThe most resilient people come up with constructs about their suffering, ways to see the message that they are receiving about life through their suffering. This is means the situation is meaningful despite being uncomfortable.\\n1-7. Laugh off the put down.\\nIn many situations, the putdown that you hear will have very little to do with who you are and what happened in reality. In these cases the put down may not even be worth gratifying with serious consideration about the incident or what you could have done differently.\\nThink about the absurdity of judging yourself based on one single instance. It doesn't make much sense to think that one slip-up or one person's opinion of you should factor into your sense of who you are, does it?\\nTry laughing about the fact that you are much more complex than one putdown could possibly capture.\\n1-8. Shift your focus to something you can control.\\nThere are so many things that we cannot control, including others’ decisions. So, bouncing back can be made easier by rediscovering your ability to have a positive impact. Work on something that you can control, like an art project or a challenging new assignment at work or in school. Observe yourself being dedicated to something (and rocking it!) to remember that you are capable of contributing lots of good to the world around you.\\n1-9. Seek social support.\\nFriends, family, and other supportive relationships in your life are very important to your ability to bounce back from putdowns. Make sure that you have people in your life who will listen to you speak freely about painful experiences without judgment.\\nKeep your support system close, even when these people are not with you physically. When you feel kicked around by the world, think about these people. What do they show you about the good in your personality? How does it feel to be around them? Then, you can be the person you are when you're around them even in their absence.\\n1-10. Know when to seek outside help.\\nIf you are being put down time and time again by the same person or group of people, you may be a dealing with bullying. Bullying is a serious offense, and it's important to reach out to your teachers, parents, or counselors who can help put an end to the problem. The following are signs that you are being bullied and should seek help:\\nThe put down involves actions like making threats, spreading rumors, launching physical or verbal attacks, and purposeful exclusion.\\nThe person bullying you has power over you, like physical strength, popularity, or access to information that can be used to harm or embarrass you.\\nThe behavior happens more than once and has the potential to continue.\\n2. Learning to Love Yourself More\\n2-1. Shed shame\\nIf you are trying to love yourself more, shame is one of your worst enemies--it tells you that simply being you is something fundamentally bad or wrong. Since shame is usually directed toward the parts of you that you try to hide, writing about your deeper feelings (even the ones that make you embarrassed or disgusted) can help you come to understand that there is nothing wrong with what's inside. When you journal, write about the difficulties and pains that you encountered throughout the day, including things you judged yourself about.\\nFor each painful moment or event, practice re-framing the experience through a lens of compassion. Think about what you learned from what happened and be generous to yourself regarding how you acted, knowing that you have plenty of opportunities to respond differently.\\nTry writing in a journal each day for a couple weeks to get comfortable with your own perspective. You might be surprised when you read back over your entries--look at this inquisitive, sensitive person who must've been writing!\\nGet in the habit of reframing your point of view whenever you think negative, self-shaming thoughts. Would you say those types of things if you were speaking to somebody else? If so, you shouldn't be saying them to yourself.\\n2-2. Work on self-acceptance.\\nIn a world so focused on progress and improvement, we can easily forget the importance of accepting the things about ourselves that we cannot change. You have unique gifts and shortcomings that make you who you are. Acceptance of yourself and your feelings, rather than forcefully shutting them out, can help you to work with what you have. This will help you discover who you are and what you're truly capable of (and not just what you think you should be capable of).\\nAcceptance has been shown to contribute directly to self-love by reducing the shame that tells us that we are not good enough or that we would be more desirable people if we could feel and act otherwise.\\nOne thing that everyone must accept is that the past cannot be changed or overwritten. Since this is the case, focus on the future--what you do have control over is how you learn from and respond to the situations that you find yourself in currently.\\nSelf-appreciation isn't something you'll develop overnight—it takes time and effort.\\n2-3. Develop your values\\nStrong values are help fill our lives with meaning that is personal to us. This is because knowing your values offers you ways to understand what's happening around you. Your values will also clue you in to the put downs that matter to you in the grand scheme, and let you know when these setbacks are just insignificant bouts of negativity that can be ignored.\\nFor example, say your values prioritize celebrating accomplishments and you go out to a restaurant with friends to celebrate a promotion. If you get some eye-rolls from neighboring tables for wearing party hats and glitter, who cares? You are acting according to your values and not others' standards for proper celebratory behavior.\\n2-4. Take responsibility for your general well-being.\\nAre you on top of the habits that contribute to your overall lifestyle? Pay attention to the things that are very important but easily slip through the cracks, and take care of yourself as if you are caring for a loved one (because you are!).\\nDo you eat well? Ask yourself whether or not you have consistent means to provide yourself with nutrient-rich foods that your body needs.\\nHow much sleep are you getting? Do you frequently feel tired during the day due to lack of steady sleeping habits?\\nWhat about exercise? Getting 30 minutes of brisk cardiovascular exercise each day improves mood, overall functioning, and reduces risk of chronic illnesses.\\n2-5. Focus on your interests.\\nSpend time by yourself learning what you like to do or fostering hobbies and interests that you already have. Seek out your passions and talents and dedicate a certain amount of time doing what you love each week. Maybe your thing is writing short stories or cooking the meals your mom used to make when you were young. By simply reconnecting with your favorite activities you make your world a little more accommodating to your deeper needs that are easily overlooked when work, school, and other duties stress you out.\\n2-6. Learn to relax.\\nIn our fast paced world, relaxation is hard to come by--and all the more important because of its rare occasion. When you intentionally take steps to relax, you are giving yourself a great gift and affirming to yourself that you deserve this break at the same time. The following are some tools you can learn in order to put together an effective relaxation regime for whenever you should need it:\\nMindfulness meditation\\nYoga\\nDeep breathing\\nProgressive muscle relaxation\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being put down is a largely negative experience that few people enjoy. Bouncing back from a put down or a series of difficulties involves lots of strength and love for yourself. Luckily, learning to love yourself will maintain your happiness and help you be more resilient when life and other people get you down. Follow these steps to treat yourself with compassion, regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Handling Emotional Fallout from Put-Downs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respond with finesse.\", \"描述\": \"Learning assertiveness and the finesse of pointing out the harmful, critical patterns of others in a loving and productive way is in an important step toward dealing with put downs. Cultivate power by standing up for yourself and altering the environment to prevent future put-downs.\\nBeing assertive is different than being aggressive. Try speaking clearly and maintaining eye contact while being a receptive listener\\nCommunicating assertively can help increase self confidence, gain the respect of others, improve decision-making skills, and enable conflict resolution.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept reality.\", \"描述\": \"Often people are too different to be able to see eye to eye. You will come across many people who don't make you feel particularly good to be around, and others will feel the same way about you. The key is to see that, even though not all people are meant to be friends, this does not make you or the other person bad. Incompatibility is just another part of life that we can learn to respond to with grace or with defensiveness and cruelty. When somebody puts you down, it's about that person and not you. Here are the top reasons people might criticize you:\\nThey are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. so they are trying to level the playing field.\\nThey have a concern about your motivation, skill level, performance or contribution.\\nThey feel you are not doing your share of the work or being a team player.\\nThey have a strong unmet need that is not being satisfied.\\nThey have a controlling personality and have to be in charge.\\nThey feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.\\nThey want to make you look bad so as to advance their own position or curry favor with the bosses, etc.\\nThey feel insecure and are overcompensating.\\nThey think you are making them look bad in front of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take stock of your choices.\", \"描述\": \"When we feel hurt or put down, it is easy to take the position of the victim and assume there’s nothing we can do to change these bad feelings. Seeing that there are always choices you can make to improve your situation, try to think about your options for responding and your approach moving forward.\\nFor instance, if a peer at school consistently puts you down, remember that you always have the choice to ignore that person entirely. If you feel that this is not the best way to handle the problem, think about who can get involved to help you assert your desire for some distance.\\nIn a public forum, such as a meeting, you may want to argue for the value of your decision or work and correct any misperceptions.\\nWith family or friends, you may want to let them know that you genuinely want to understand their concerns, but that you don't always agree. Depending on the situation, you may want to assert yourself by saying, \\\"Let's agree to disagree.\\\"\\nWith aggressive children or teenagers, you may want to acknowledge that their feeling is legitimate, but that they need to work on a more respectful delivery.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to re-frame your current situation.\", \"描述\": \"If you've just been put down, you probably feel embarrassed, upset, or filled with a sense of injustice. While these feelings shouldn't be denied, see that they also offer you paths besides feeling stuck in them. View the put down as a learning experience that is giving you practice for how to be more resilient in the face of whatever comes.\\nAfter all, life is full of situations that we wouldn't necessarily choose, and the way we respond to these situations is the difference between ruminating in sadness and getting excited about how much hurt you can learn to let go of\\nUnderstand what happened on your own terms. Ask yourself, according to your own values: What went well? What didn’t go well? What can I do better next time?\\nTry practicing mindfulness in the moment. It can be helpful to remove yourself from the hurt emotions and take a moment to ask what the put downs say about the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check your thinking for negativity traps.\", \"描述\": \"It is much easier to look realistically at what has happened to us and where we can go from the put-down when we drop thoughts that skew our thoughts into exaggerated, negative evaluations of our situations. The following are some examples ways of thinking that make it difficult to see the reality of our situation:\\nFortune telling is when we assume that things will turn out badly without having any real basis for this prediction.\\nBlack-and-white thinking is when we only look at things in terms of extreme judgments. In black-and-white thinking everything is either good or bad (even if reality tells us that things are too complicated for this sort of judgment).\\nMind-reading is when we think we know what others are thinking (and it’s usually the worst about us!) In reality, we can’t know what others are thinking.\\nLabelling is when we choose a simple label like “stupid” or “ugly” to describe a behavior, situation, or person that is much too complex to be summed up in just one word. Labels are usually negative and make us forget the other aspects in play.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Seek meaning from put downs.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to ask yourself, \\\"Why me?\\\" in tough situations. Getting stuck in the \\\"why me\\\" mindframe can make it hard to see the lessons that always come with hardships. Seek meaning by changing \\\"Why me?\\\" questions to questions like \\\"What do I now see about why and how some people put others down?\\\" or \\\"What can I do to play a role in stopping the cruelty that I have experienced?\\\"\\nThe most resilient people come up with constructs about their suffering, ways to see the message that they are receiving about life through their suffering. This is means the situation is meaningful despite being uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Laugh off the put down.\", \"描述\": \"In many situations, the putdown that you hear will have very little to do with who you are and what happened in reality. In these cases the put down may not even be worth gratifying with serious consideration about the incident or what you could have done differently.\\nThink about the absurdity of judging yourself based on one single instance. It doesn't make much sense to think that one slip-up or one person's opinion of you should factor into your sense of who you are, does it?\\nTry laughing about the fact that you are much more complex than one putdown could possibly capture.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Shift your focus to something you can control.\", \"描述\": \"There are so many things that we cannot control, including others’ decisions. So, bouncing back can be made easier by rediscovering your ability to have a positive impact. Work on something that you can control, like an art project or a challenging new assignment at work or in school. Observe yourself being dedicated to something (and rocking it!) to remember that you are capable of contributing lots of good to the world around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Seek social support.\", \"描述\": \"Friends, family, and other supportive relationships in your life are very important to your ability to bounce back from putdowns. Make sure that you have people in your life who will listen to you speak freely about painful experiences without judgment.\\nKeep your support system close, even when these people are not with you physically. When you feel kicked around by the world, think about these people. What do they show you about the good in your personality? How does it feel to be around them? Then, you can be the person you are when you're around them even in their absence.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Know when to seek outside help.\", \"描述\": \"If you are being put down time and time again by the same person or group of people, you may be a dealing with bullying. Bullying is a serious offense, and it's important to reach out to your teachers, parents, or counselors who can help put an end to the problem. The following are signs that you are being bullied and should seek help:\\nThe put down involves actions like making threats, spreading rumors, launching physical or verbal attacks, and purposeful exclusion.\\nThe person bullying you has power over you, like physical strength, popularity, or access to information that can be used to harm or embarrass you.\\nThe behavior happens more than once and has the potential to continue.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning to Love Yourself More\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shed shame\", \"描述\": \"If you are trying to love yourself more, shame is one of your worst enemies--it tells you that simply being you is something fundamentally bad or wrong. Since shame is usually directed toward the parts of you that you try to hide, writing about your deeper feelings (even the ones that make you embarrassed or disgusted) can help you come to understand that there is nothing wrong with what's inside. When you journal, write about the difficulties and pains that you encountered throughout the day, including things you judged yourself about.\\nFor each painful moment or event, practice re-framing the experience through a lens of compassion. Think about what you learned from what happened and be generous to yourself regarding how you acted, knowing that you have plenty of opportunities to respond differently.\\nTry writing in a journal each day for a couple weeks to get comfortable with your own perspective. You might be surprised when you read back over your entries--look at this inquisitive, sensitive person who must've been writing!\\nGet in the habit of reframing your point of view whenever you think negative, self-shaming thoughts. Would you say those types of things if you were speaking to somebody else? If so, you shouldn't be saying them to yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work on self-acceptance.\", \"描述\": \"In a world so focused on progress and improvement, we can easily forget the importance of accepting the things about ourselves that we cannot change. You have unique gifts and shortcomings that make you who you are. Acceptance of yourself and your feelings, rather than forcefully shutting them out, can help you to work with what you have. This will help you discover who you are and what you're truly capable of (and not just what you think you should be capable of).\\nAcceptance has been shown to contribute directly to self-love by reducing the shame that tells us that we are not good enough or that we would be more desirable people if we could feel and act otherwise.\\nOne thing that everyone must accept is that the past cannot be changed or overwritten. Since this is the case, focus on the future--what you do have control over is how you learn from and respond to the situations that you find yourself in currently.\\nSelf-appreciation isn't something you'll develop overnight—it takes time and effort.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop your values\", \"描述\": \"Strong values are help fill our lives with meaning that is personal to us. This is because knowing your values offers you ways to understand what's happening around you. Your values will also clue you in to the put downs that matter to you in the grand scheme, and let you know when these setbacks are just insignificant bouts of negativity that can be ignored.\\nFor example, say your values prioritize celebrating accomplishments and you go out to a restaurant with friends to celebrate a promotion. If you get some eye-rolls from neighboring tables for wearing party hats and glitter, who cares? You are acting according to your values and not others' standards for proper celebratory behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your general well-being.\", \"描述\": \"Are you on top of the habits that contribute to your overall lifestyle? Pay attention to the things that are very important but easily slip through the cracks, and take care of yourself as if you are caring for a loved one (because you are!).\\nDo you eat well? Ask yourself whether or not you have consistent means to provide yourself with nutrient-rich foods that your body needs.\\nHow much sleep are you getting? Do you frequently feel tired during the day due to lack of steady sleeping habits?\\nWhat about exercise? Getting 30 minutes of brisk cardiovascular exercise each day improves mood, overall functioning, and reduces risk of chronic illnesses.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on your interests.\", \"描述\": \"Spend time by yourself learning what you like to do or fostering hobbies and interests that you already have. Seek out your passions and talents and dedicate a certain amount of time doing what you love each week. Maybe your thing is writing short stories or cooking the meals your mom used to make when you were young. By simply reconnecting with your favorite activities you make your world a little more accommodating to your deeper needs that are easily overlooked when work, school, and other duties stress you out.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to relax.\", \"描述\": \"In our fast paced world, relaxation is hard to come by--and all the more important because of its rare occasion. When you intentionally take steps to relax, you are giving yourself a great gift and affirming to yourself that you deserve this break at the same time. The following are some tools you can learn in order to put together an effective relaxation regime for whenever you should need it:\\nMindfulness meditation\\nYoga\\nDeep breathing\\nProgressive muscle relaxation\"}]}]}}",
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3,811 | How to Be Happy at Work | 1. Starting Your Day Off on the Right Foot
1-1. Wake up at least an hour before you need to leave for work.
Enjoy some "me" time before the rush begins. Though your sleep is precious, so is your need for some time to be by yourself without feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself time to eat breakfast, read a little bit, go for a short jog, or to do whatever you need to do to get the day started off on the right foot. Nothing will make you feel better than knowing you already did something for yourself before walking through the front door of your workplace.
You may need to go to bed half an hour earlier or so to get used to doing this. Try to make the most of your time home after work so you don't end up staying up too late for no reason. Though you may be tired when you come home from work, if you just collapse and watch television for hours, you may be liable to stay up late without truly doing anything for yourself.
1-2. Dress for success.
When you leave the house looking good and ready for work, then you are well on your way to having a good day. If you work in a casual environment or in a place with a uniform, then you don't need to add too many personal touches to your look, but you should shower, wash your face and hair, and look generally well-groomed. Not only will looking nice make other people treat you with more respect, but it may leave you feeling more excited about being at work.
Even if you show up to work feeling tired, seeing yourself looking put together in the mirror can give you the energy you need to start your day off on the right foot.
1-3. Leave your personal problems at home.
Though it can be hard to feel happy at work when you're too busy worrying about the fight with your boyfriend, your mother's health, or scrambling to do some last-minute planning for your wedding, learning to push your personal problems aside is the only way you can feel happy in the workplace. Tell yourself that whatever problems you're having will have to wait until work is over, unless they are really important, and go about your work day.
In fact, pushing your personal problems aside can lead you to look forward to work more, because you'll see it as a haven from your problems, instead of a place that's keeping you from addressing them.
Don't try to squeeze your personal problems into your work day. Make the phone calls and send the emails you need to send after work hours, or during your lunch break, if necessary. If you try to get your job done while trying to solve your personal problems, you'll be twice as stressed about them because you'll be anxious about finding a time to do both.
1-4. Get to work at least ten minutes early.
A rushed and bad start will minimise your chances of having a good day and feeling happy at work. If you get to work late, you'll feel like you're behind all day, and like you never have time to catch up. Instead, leave the house at least 15 minutes earlier than you have been, or even earlier, depending on when you normally get to work. You may think that you're winning by rolling in a few minutes late every day, when in reality, you'll be lowering your chances of being happy at work.
Having positive relationships with your bosses and coworkers can have a big impact on how happy you are at work. If you're known for showing up late, then people will look down on you for being a slacker, and your relationships will suffer.
1-5. Greet your colleagues when you get to work.
When you first walk in the door, make sure to greet as many of your colleagues as you can before you get to work. You'll instantly feel more connected to people and will feel your positive energy growing. You may feel stressed out, rushed, or just plain cranky, but isolating yourself is not the way to make yourself more excited about work. Instead, be friendly when you get to work, even if you don't feel very friendly.
Remember that part about getting to work early? One reason you should do so is to have time to connect with your coworkers a bit. If you get in late, you'll feel like you don't have time to say hi to people. But if you take your time, you'll have a few minutes to establish a connection with people without feeling frazzled.
If you don't greet people or rush off to your own office, you'll develop a reputation for being antisocial, whether it's true or not.
2. Making Your Work Easier
2-1. Have a welcoming workspace.
Make sure to keep your desk or work area organized and tidy so that you know where everything is and don't waste time looking for lost items. You can have a filing system, or trays on your desk, that help you organize your tasks in terms of what has to be done today, next week, or by the end of the month. Taking just 10 minutes a day to keep your workspace organized can make a big impact on how happy you are at work. You want to feel comforted, not stressed out, when you enter your workspace.
Personalize your cubicle, work space or office. Adding plants, pictures of friends and family, and other personal items leads to increased job satisfaction, if permitted. This will also make your work space feel more like home.
2-2. Complete simple tasks as quickly as possible.
Answer correspondence which simply requires an immediate reply (without any research), fax simple returns immediately. Then categorise the rest of your post into "urgent: respond by the end of the week" and so on. Remember that every job completed and not deferred brings a sense of accomplishment which leads to a sense of happiness at work.
Instead of dreading completing a task like making a quick phone call or sending an email, just get right to it when you have the time. You'll feel better about it because you'll be able to move on about your day without it nagging at you.
2-3. Take pride in your work.
This refers to tasks big or small from a fax to a report. Professionally presented documents will bring praise and recognition from colleagues and even management; so will a delicious meal made perfectly or an incisive lecture on Shakespeare. Whatever work you do, take pride in the work you've put in as well as in how it impacts people. Everybody loves praise and the happiness and sense of pride in a job well done that it brings.
Even if you feel like a lot of your work is monotonous, you should find something to take pride in, whether it's a small aspect of the job (like a report you completed this month) or a finished product (a house you've built).
2-4. Treat your clients or customers with respect.
Help them as much as you can. You may find that they will express gratitude in various forms. We all love to feel useful and we all feel happy when people thank us for simply "doing our job" or going the extra mile. Whether you work in an office or in a restaurant, it never helps you to be rude or condescending to other people. You may feel frustrated or impatient, but having a negative interaction with people will only make you feel worse. If you want to feel happier in the workplace, then you should work to foster a positive relationship with the people you work with.
Of course, if someone is really treating you poorly, then you may not be able to put a big smile on your face. If you work on being patient and staying in control of your emotions, you'll be improving your attitude at work for sure.
2-5. Be as physically active as you can at work.
Though you may feel like you're strapped to your desk all day, or stuck in one position, there are a number of things you can do to improve the amount of physical activity you can do during your work day; being more physically active will make you feel more energized and happier. This can start with your commute: you can try to walk or bike to work, or just to find a way of getting there that requires some physical exercise, even if it means walking a little longer to catch a bus. Once you're in the workplace, here are some things you can do to get more exercise at work:
Take the stairs instead of the elevator
Walk to a co-worker's office instead of sending an email to ask a question
Leave the office to walk across the street to get coffee
Go outside to eat your lunch
Get a standing desk to burn more calories while you work
2-6. Take breaks.
If you want to be happier in your workplace, then you have to take breaks from your work from time to time. You don't want to feel repressed or like you can't leave your desk or go outside until you're done with your work day. Studies show that it's important to take a break at least every 90 minutes; step away from your computer or whatever task your doing and take 10 minutes to rest your eyes, stretch, take a short walk, make a brief phone call, or even read a little bit. If you have the luxury of taking a break from your work, then you should make a habit of it if you want to feel happier.
If you work inside an office building, you should make sure you leave the building at least once or twice a day, if you're allowed. If you start feeling cooped up in all that stale air conditioning and fluorescent lighting, it can have a serious negative effect on your mood. Stepping outside to get some sunlight and fresh air from time to time will make you happier as you go about your day.
2-7. Avoid multitasking.
Though you may think that multitasking can help you get your work done faster, it has been shown to actually slow you down, not allowing you to fully immerse yourself in one task. You should check your email, respond to any emails you need to read, and then move on to project A, and then move on to report B, etc, if you want to systematically check items off your work to-do list. If you end up doing five tasks halfway, then you'll feel less of a sense of accomplishment than if you fully completed one or two tasks.
It can help to write a to-do list at the beginning of your work day and to go about checking items off of it. You'll feel more accomplished, and therefore, happier in the process.
Do not waste time reading junk mail. Sift through your e-mails and delete all jokes and sappy messages from friends. Ask your friends to only send e-mails to your home. Wasting valuable working hours at work will lead to increased stress and rob you of happiness. It'll also keep you from being focused on the task at hand.
3. Interacting with Your Coworkers
3-1. Steer clear of cliques.
It is especially important to avoid groups which target co-workers and management: negativity drains you of energy and blocks happiness and positive thoughts. Work on being friendly with everyone instead of joining a group of just three or four people and alienating everyone else. You don't want to join a clique and then find that the people in it turn on you. Instead, try to be on good terms with everyone without becoming stuck in one social circle; your happiness will grow as a result.
Though you may feel temporary satisfaction when you're "in" with a group of people, in the long run, it will lead to drama you don't want.
3-2. Offer praise as well as criticism.
It's important to speak up when you think that something in your workplace can be improved. However, it's equally important to point out when your coworkers or company is doing something right. If you thought everything at your workplace was done incorrectly, then you wouldn't be working there, would you? Make sure to speak up to give praise when it's needed so that you stay upbeat and make yourself aware of all the good things your job has to offer.
If you're only complaining and being a negative Nancy all the time, then you'll get a bad reputation. One main way to be happy in your workplace is to make friends with your colleagues, so you want to maintain a good reputation.
3-3. Be friends with your coworkers.
Studies show that one of the best ways to be almost as happy at work as you are away from work is to be friends with your coworkers. Though you may feel like you have enough friends, you should get to know your coworkers so that you're excited to see them every day and that you feel more connected in the workplace. You should give your coworkers your time, make small talk with them, and work on building closer relationships. Though you can't be best friends with everyone, you should seek friendships with the people who really matter to you.
Find opportunities to socialize at your workplace. Go grab coffee or hang out in the break room with your coworkers, or even step out for lunch with them. Try to isolate yourself as little as possible.
If you have people to connect with in your workplace, then you won't look at it as this place that's just a punishment until you can return to your real life. Who knows, you may even look forward to getting up to go to work in the morning because you can't wait to catch up with your coworkers over lunch!
3-4. Watch your body language.
When you are talking to colleagues or clients and you have your arms folded across your chest, not only will you be sending the wrong signals but you will unconsciously be blocking your ability to communicate openly. Open communication reminds us of our common humanity and brings happiness as a result. Having open body language can make you happier at work because your coworkers will be more likely to have positive interactions with you.
Standing tall and looking ahead instead of at the ground will also help you project confidence, which is what you'll need to gain respect in the workplace and to feel happier.
3-5. Avoid negative people at all costs.
Colleagues who moan and whine about personal or work issues, will drag you down and prevent the workplace from being a happy one. Instead, focus on people who are positive, upbeat, and who have an optimistic attitude about their work. If one of your coworkers is complaining about work too much, then you will start to find a million things wrong with your job. Of course, it's important to be observant, but you shouldn't let other coworkers lower your happiness.
Avoid gossip. If you want to be happy at work, then don't get involved in office drama or idle gossip. Stick to talking about the things you care about and the things that make you happy. If you are known as a gossip, you'll soon be the target, and this won't help your happiness at all.
3-6. Don't overextend yourself.
One way you can make yourself happier at work is to stop saying yes when you really mean no. Though you may want to do everyone a favor, you should stick to your guns when you know you have too much on your plate. Be honest with your boss or your coworkers when you feel like you already have too much to do instead of getting overwhelmed and feeling like the work will never end. This will lead you to be happier, and to immerse yourself in the tasks you are capable of doing, instead of trying to please everybody.
If you feel like you want to help a colleague out but are too crunched for time, say that you can't do the task he or she wants you to do right now, but that you'd like to help out with something else in the future.
4. Maintaining a Positive Attitude
4-1. Make the most of every work day.
Even if you are looking for another position and just biding your time, remember that your boss will have to write a testimonial or reference letter for you. If you are a happy, committed and quality-driven employee, chances are, the reference will be a positive one and may just land you that job you seek. Even if you're feeling bummed out or frustrated at work, try putting on happy face — it's been proven to actually make people feel happier.
There's absolutely nothing you can lose from trying to be as happy as you can in the workplace. If you're feeling negative, complaining, or ranting to other coworkers, you're guaranteed to feel worse.
4-2. Find meaning in your work.
One important way to feel happy at work is to find some meaning in the work you do. You don't have to be the CEO of a non-profit to feel like you're making a difference in people's lives. Whether you're a teacher, a waitress, or a corporate executive, you have to find a reason to do the work you do. You could be helping people, whether they are students, customers, or clients. If you struggle to find any meaning in the work you do, then it may get pretty difficult to be happy at work.
You may feel like a lot of your job is filled with drudgery, which can lead you to forget the bigger picture. If you're a teacher, for example, you may spend so much time grading papers that you forget that you're teaching children to love literature or to develop their powers of reasoning. Take a moment to remind yourself why the work you do means something and you'll see your happiness soar.
4-3. Don't obsess over your salary.
Though not being fairly compensated or feeling like you're more than overdue for a raise is unpleasant, you can't let this thought control your every move. If you step out for lunch, don't tell yourself that enjoying a burger and fries with your coworkers is the equivalent of working for half an hour; if you start to follow this line of thinking, you'll soon be filled with despair. Instead, draw up a larger budget and stick to it, but don't think of every little dollar you spend as being some fraction of your salary.
Of course, if you feel that you are more than overqualified for your job, then you may be happier at a higher-paying position that is better suited to your needs. You can also ask your boss for a raise, if you feel that you deserve it. However, remember that increasing your salary by a marginal percentage won't make you happier for long.
4-4. Think about all of the people who need you.
If you're feeling down in the dumps about your time at work, take a minute to think about all of the people who depend on you. Think of your students, your fellow waitstaff, the other people in your office, or whoever depends on you in your work environment. Think about what would happen if you didn't show up to a day of work — or didn't show up ever again. Many people would suffer and wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Remind yourself how valuable you are the next time you have doubts about whether your current employment situation is right for you.
You can also take some time to think about all of the people at work you need to go about your day. This will make you realize that you're in a supportive, collaborative environment and that you and your colleagues really need each other.
4-5. Reward yourself for a job well done.
Though productivity is important, so is mental health. If you want to be happy at work, then you should periodically reward yourself for getting through a certain task or getting done with your work day. You can schedule a happy hour at work after a series of what you know will be stressful meetings. You can enjoy a sugar cookie after teaching two of your hardest classes. You can spend ten minutes reading up on your celebrity gossip after turning in a complicated report. Find whatever motivates you to get your work done and use it as a reward after a hard day.
Having rewards for yourself will also give you something to look forward to throughout your work day. You may be more energetic and efficient if you know that you'll have a romantic dinner date with your partner after a day of work.
4-6. Make time for your friends and family.
No matter how busy you may be, it's always important to make time for the people closest to you. If you spend all of your energy on your job or complaining about your job, then you won't be able to stop and enjoy life. If you want to create a healthy balance between work and play, then you should make sure to see one of your friends at least once a week and to check in with your family, whether it's over the phone or in person, at least once a week so you feel connected to the outside world. You'll be happier at work if you have more love, family, and friendship in your life.
When you feel like you're too busy to return a friend's call, ask yourself if there's something you can cut back on to give yourself time to do the things you love. Chances are, you can spend half an hour less watching TV, browsing Facebook, or repeatedly hitting the snooze button and devote that time to catching up with someone you care about.
4-7. Know when your work just isn't working.
Though there are many things you can do to be happier at work, there may come a time when you realize that nothing you do can truly make you happy at work. Maybe it's because you're treated unfairly in your workplace. Maybe you're doing something you don't really believe in instead of pursuing your passion. Maybe you just feel completely worn down and uninspired. If you've come to the conclusion that nothing you do can really make you happy at work, then it's time to start looking for more meaningful, fulfilling work.
Of course, finding an amazing job is easier said than done in today's job market. But even beginning the act of looking can give you more hope and meaning in your life.
Warnings
If you have been a negative, whining and unprofessional employee up to now, it may take people a little while to get used to the new and happier you. Persevere, and remember that your happiness at work, at home, or wherever you are is up to you. Happiness is an attitude and a conscious decision. Make the right choice!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:50:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting Your Day Off on the Right Foot\\n1-1. Wake up at least an hour before you need to leave for work.\\nEnjoy some \\\"me\\\" time before the rush begins. Though your sleep is precious, so is your need for some time to be by yourself without feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself time to eat breakfast, read a little bit, go for a short jog, or to do whatever you need to do to get the day started off on the right foot. Nothing will make you feel better than knowing you already did something for yourself before walking through the front door of your workplace.\\nYou may need to go to bed half an hour earlier or so to get used to doing this. Try to make the most of your time home after work so you don't end up staying up too late for no reason. Though you may be tired when you come home from work, if you just collapse and watch television for hours, you may be liable to stay up late without truly doing anything for yourself.\\n1-2. Dress for success.\\nWhen you leave the house looking good and ready for work, then you are well on your way to having a good day. If you work in a casual environment or in a place with a uniform, then you don't need to add too many personal touches to your look, but you should shower, wash your face and hair, and look generally well-groomed. Not only will looking nice make other people treat you with more respect, but it may leave you feeling more excited about being at work.\\nEven if you show up to work feeling tired, seeing yourself looking put together in the mirror can give you the energy you need to start your day off on the right foot.\\n1-3. Leave your personal problems at home.\\nThough it can be hard to feel happy at work when you're too busy worrying about the fight with your boyfriend, your mother's health, or scrambling to do some last-minute planning for your wedding, learning to push your personal problems aside is the only way you can feel happy in the workplace. Tell yourself that whatever problems you're having will have to wait until work is over, unless they are really important, and go about your work day. \\nIn fact, pushing your personal problems aside can lead you to look forward to work more, because you'll see it as a haven from your problems, instead of a place that's keeping you from addressing them.\\nDon't try to squeeze your personal problems into your work day. Make the phone calls and send the emails you need to send after work hours, or during your lunch break, if necessary. If you try to get your job done while trying to solve your personal problems, you'll be twice as stressed about them because you'll be anxious about finding a time to do both.\\n1-4. Get to work at least ten minutes early.\\nA rushed and bad start will minimise your chances of having a good day and feeling happy at work. If you get to work late, you'll feel like you're behind all day, and like you never have time to catch up. Instead, leave the house at least 15 minutes earlier than you have been, or even earlier, depending on when you normally get to work. You may think that you're winning by rolling in a few minutes late every day, when in reality, you'll be lowering your chances of being happy at work.\\nHaving positive relationships with your bosses and coworkers can have a big impact on how happy you are at work. If you're known for showing up late, then people will look down on you for being a slacker, and your relationships will suffer.\\n1-5. Greet your colleagues when you get to work.\\nWhen you first walk in the door, make sure to greet as many of your colleagues as you can before you get to work. You'll instantly feel more connected to people and will feel your positive energy growing. You may feel stressed out, rushed, or just plain cranky, but isolating yourself is not the way to make yourself more excited about work. Instead, be friendly when you get to work, even if you don't feel very friendly.\\nRemember that part about getting to work early? One reason you should do so is to have time to connect with your coworkers a bit. If you get in late, you'll feel like you don't have time to say hi to people. But if you take your time, you'll have a few minutes to establish a connection with people without feeling frazzled.\\nIf you don't greet people or rush off to your own office, you'll develop a reputation for being antisocial, whether it's true or not.\\n2. Making Your Work Easier\\n2-1. Have a welcoming workspace.\\nMake sure to keep your desk or work area organized and tidy so that you know where everything is and don't waste time looking for lost items. You can have a filing system, or trays on your desk, that help you organize your tasks in terms of what has to be done today, next week, or by the end of the month. Taking just 10 minutes a day to keep your workspace organized can make a big impact on how happy you are at work. You want to feel comforted, not stressed out, when you enter your workspace.\\nPersonalize your cubicle, work space or office. Adding plants, pictures of friends and family, and other personal items leads to increased job satisfaction, if permitted. This will also make your work space feel more like home.\\n2-2. Complete simple tasks as quickly as possible.\\nAnswer correspondence which simply requires an immediate reply (without any research), fax simple returns immediately. Then categorise the rest of your post into \\\"urgent: respond by the end of the week\\\" and so on. Remember that every job completed and not deferred brings a sense of accomplishment which leads to a sense of happiness at work.\\nInstead of dreading completing a task like making a quick phone call or sending an email, just get right to it when you have the time. You'll feel better about it because you'll be able to move on about your day without it nagging at you.\\n2-3. Take pride in your work.\\nThis refers to tasks big or small from a fax to a report. Professionally presented documents will bring praise and recognition from colleagues and even management; so will a delicious meal made perfectly or an incisive lecture on Shakespeare. Whatever work you do, take pride in the work you've put in as well as in how it impacts people. Everybody loves praise and the happiness and sense of pride in a job well done that it brings.\\nEven if you feel like a lot of your work is monotonous, you should find something to take pride in, whether it's a small aspect of the job (like a report you completed this month) or a finished product (a house you've built).\\n2-4. Treat your clients or customers with respect.\\nHelp them as much as you can. You may find that they will express gratitude in various forms. We all love to feel useful and we all feel happy when people thank us for simply \\\"doing our job\\\" or going the extra mile. Whether you work in an office or in a restaurant, it never helps you to be rude or condescending to other people. You may feel frustrated or impatient, but having a negative interaction with people will only make you feel worse. If you want to feel happier in the workplace, then you should work to foster a positive relationship with the people you work with.\\nOf course, if someone is really treating you poorly, then you may not be able to put a big smile on your face. If you work on being patient and staying in control of your emotions, you'll be improving your attitude at work for sure.\\n2-5. Be as physically active as you can at work.\\nThough you may feel like you're strapped to your desk all day, or stuck in one position, there are a number of things you can do to improve the amount of physical activity you can do during your work day; being more physically active will make you feel more energized and happier. This can start with your commute: you can try to walk or bike to work, or just to find a way of getting there that requires some physical exercise, even if it means walking a little longer to catch a bus. Once you're in the workplace, here are some things you can do to get more exercise at work: \\nTake the stairs instead of the elevator\\nWalk to a co-worker's office instead of sending an email to ask a question\\nLeave the office to walk across the street to get coffee\\nGo outside to eat your lunch\\nGet a standing desk to burn more calories while you work\\n2-6. Take breaks.\\nIf you want to be happier in your workplace, then you have to take breaks from your work from time to time. You don't want to feel repressed or like you can't leave your desk or go outside until you're done with your work day. Studies show that it's important to take a break at least every 90 minutes; step away from your computer or whatever task your doing and take 10 minutes to rest your eyes, stretch, take a short walk, make a brief phone call, or even read a little bit. If you have the luxury of taking a break from your work, then you should make a habit of it if you want to feel happier.\\nIf you work inside an office building, you should make sure you leave the building at least once or twice a day, if you're allowed. If you start feeling cooped up in all that stale air conditioning and fluorescent lighting, it can have a serious negative effect on your mood. Stepping outside to get some sunlight and fresh air from time to time will make you happier as you go about your day.\\n2-7. Avoid multitasking.\\nThough you may think that multitasking can help you get your work done faster, it has been shown to actually slow you down, not allowing you to fully immerse yourself in one task. You should check your email, respond to any emails you need to read, and then move on to project A, and then move on to report B, etc, if you want to systematically check items off your work to-do list. If you end up doing five tasks halfway, then you'll feel less of a sense of accomplishment than if you fully completed one or two tasks.\\nIt can help to write a to-do list at the beginning of your work day and to go about checking items off of it. You'll feel more accomplished, and therefore, happier in the process.\\nDo not waste time reading junk mail. Sift through your e-mails and delete all jokes and sappy messages from friends. Ask your friends to only send e-mails to your home. Wasting valuable working hours at work will lead to increased stress and rob you of happiness. It'll also keep you from being focused on the task at hand.\\n3. Interacting with Your Coworkers\\n3-1. Steer clear of cliques.\\nIt is especially important to avoid groups which target co-workers and management: negativity drains you of energy and blocks happiness and positive thoughts. Work on being friendly with everyone instead of joining a group of just three or four people and alienating everyone else. You don't want to join a clique and then find that the people in it turn on you. Instead, try to be on good terms with everyone without becoming stuck in one social circle; your happiness will grow as a result.\\nThough you may feel temporary satisfaction when you're \\\"in\\\" with a group of people, in the long run, it will lead to drama you don't want.\\n3-2. Offer praise as well as criticism.\\nIt's important to speak up when you think that something in your workplace can be improved. However, it's equally important to point out when your coworkers or company is doing something right. If you thought everything at your workplace was done incorrectly, then you wouldn't be working there, would you? Make sure to speak up to give praise when it's needed so that you stay upbeat and make yourself aware of all the good things your job has to offer.\\nIf you're only complaining and being a negative Nancy all the time, then you'll get a bad reputation. One main way to be happy in your workplace is to make friends with your colleagues, so you want to maintain a good reputation.\\n3-3. Be friends with your coworkers.\\nStudies show that one of the best ways to be almost as happy at work as you are away from work is to be friends with your coworkers. Though you may feel like you have enough friends, you should get to know your coworkers so that you're excited to see them every day and that you feel more connected in the workplace. You should give your coworkers your time, make small talk with them, and work on building closer relationships. Though you can't be best friends with everyone, you should seek friendships with the people who really matter to you. \\nFind opportunities to socialize at your workplace. Go grab coffee or hang out in the break room with your coworkers, or even step out for lunch with them. Try to isolate yourself as little as possible.\\nIf you have people to connect with in your workplace, then you won't look at it as this place that's just a punishment until you can return to your real life. Who knows, you may even look forward to getting up to go to work in the morning because you can't wait to catch up with your coworkers over lunch!\\n3-4. Watch your body language.\\nWhen you are talking to colleagues or clients and you have your arms folded across your chest, not only will you be sending the wrong signals but you will unconsciously be blocking your ability to communicate openly. Open communication reminds us of our common humanity and brings happiness as a result. Having open body language can make you happier at work because your coworkers will be more likely to have positive interactions with you.\\nStanding tall and looking ahead instead of at the ground will also help you project confidence, which is what you'll need to gain respect in the workplace and to feel happier.\\n3-5. Avoid negative people at all costs.\\nColleagues who moan and whine about personal or work issues, will drag you down and prevent the workplace from being a happy one. Instead, focus on people who are positive, upbeat, and who have an optimistic attitude about their work. If one of your coworkers is complaining about work too much, then you will start to find a million things wrong with your job. Of course, it's important to be observant, but you shouldn't let other coworkers lower your happiness.\\nAvoid gossip. If you want to be happy at work, then don't get involved in office drama or idle gossip. Stick to talking about the things you care about and the things that make you happy. If you are known as a gossip, you'll soon be the target, and this won't help your happiness at all.\\n3-6. Don't overextend yourself.\\nOne way you can make yourself happier at work is to stop saying yes when you really mean no. Though you may want to do everyone a favor, you should stick to your guns when you know you have too much on your plate. Be honest with your boss or your coworkers when you feel like you already have too much to do instead of getting overwhelmed and feeling like the work will never end. This will lead you to be happier, and to immerse yourself in the tasks you are capable of doing, instead of trying to please everybody. \\nIf you feel like you want to help a colleague out but are too crunched for time, say that you can't do the task he or she wants you to do right now, but that you'd like to help out with something else in the future.\\n4. Maintaining a Positive Attitude\\n4-1. Make the most of every work day.\\nEven if you are looking for another position and just biding your time, remember that your boss will have to write a testimonial or reference letter for you. If you are a happy, committed and quality-driven employee, chances are, the reference will be a positive one and may just land you that job you seek. Even if you're feeling bummed out or frustrated at work, try putting on happy face — it's been proven to actually make people feel happier.\\nThere's absolutely nothing you can lose from trying to be as happy as you can in the workplace. If you're feeling negative, complaining, or ranting to other coworkers, you're guaranteed to feel worse.\\n4-2. Find meaning in your work.\\nOne important way to feel happy at work is to find some meaning in the work you do. You don't have to be the CEO of a non-profit to feel like you're making a difference in people's lives. Whether you're a teacher, a waitress, or a corporate executive, you have to find a reason to do the work you do. You could be helping people, whether they are students, customers, or clients. If you struggle to find any meaning in the work you do, then it may get pretty difficult to be happy at work.\\nYou may feel like a lot of your job is filled with drudgery, which can lead you to forget the bigger picture. If you're a teacher, for example, you may spend so much time grading papers that you forget that you're teaching children to love literature or to develop their powers of reasoning. Take a moment to remind yourself why the work you do means something and you'll see your happiness soar.\\n4-3. Don't obsess over your salary.\\nThough not being fairly compensated or feeling like you're more than overdue for a raise is unpleasant, you can't let this thought control your every move. If you step out for lunch, don't tell yourself that enjoying a burger and fries with your coworkers is the equivalent of working for half an hour; if you start to follow this line of thinking, you'll soon be filled with despair. Instead, draw up a larger budget and stick to it, but don't think of every little dollar you spend as being some fraction of your salary. \\nOf course, if you feel that you are more than overqualified for your job, then you may be happier at a higher-paying position that is better suited to your needs. You can also ask your boss for a raise, if you feel that you deserve it. However, remember that increasing your salary by a marginal percentage won't make you happier for long.\\n4-4. Think about all of the people who need you.\\nIf you're feeling down in the dumps about your time at work, take a minute to think about all of the people who depend on you. Think of your students, your fellow waitstaff, the other people in your office, or whoever depends on you in your work environment. Think about what would happen if you didn't show up to a day of work — or didn't show up ever again. Many people would suffer and wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Remind yourself how valuable you are the next time you have doubts about whether your current employment situation is right for you. \\nYou can also take some time to think about all of the people at work you need to go about your day. This will make you realize that you're in a supportive, collaborative environment and that you and your colleagues really need each other.\\n4-5. Reward yourself for a job well done.\\nThough productivity is important, so is mental health. If you want to be happy at work, then you should periodically reward yourself for getting through a certain task or getting done with your work day. You can schedule a happy hour at work after a series of what you know will be stressful meetings. You can enjoy a sugar cookie after teaching two of your hardest classes. You can spend ten minutes reading up on your celebrity gossip after turning in a complicated report. Find whatever motivates you to get your work done and use it as a reward after a hard day.\\nHaving rewards for yourself will also give you something to look forward to throughout your work day. You may be more energetic and efficient if you know that you'll have a romantic dinner date with your partner after a day of work.\\n4-6. Make time for your friends and family.\\nNo matter how busy you may be, it's always important to make time for the people closest to you. If you spend all of your energy on your job or complaining about your job, then you won't be able to stop and enjoy life. If you want to create a healthy balance between work and play, then you should make sure to see one of your friends at least once a week and to check in with your family, whether it's over the phone or in person, at least once a week so you feel connected to the outside world. You'll be happier at work if you have more love, family, and friendship in your life. \\nWhen you feel like you're too busy to return a friend's call, ask yourself if there's something you can cut back on to give yourself time to do the things you love. Chances are, you can spend half an hour less watching TV, browsing Facebook, or repeatedly hitting the snooze button and devote that time to catching up with someone you care about.\\n4-7. Know when your work just isn't working.\\nThough there are many things you can do to be happier at work, there may come a time when you realize that nothing you do can truly make you happy at work. Maybe it's because you're treated unfairly in your workplace. Maybe you're doing something you don't really believe in instead of pursuing your passion. Maybe you just feel completely worn down and uninspired. If you've come to the conclusion that nothing you do can really make you happy at work, then it's time to start looking for more meaningful, fulfilling work. \\nOf course, finding an amazing job is easier said than done in today's job market. But even beginning the act of looking can give you more hope and meaning in your life.\\nWarnings\\nIf you have been a negative, whining and unprofessional employee up to now, it may take people a little while to get used to the new and happier you. Persevere, and remember that your happiness at work, at home, or wherever you are is up to you. Happiness is an attitude and a conscious decision. Make the right choice!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many people spend over half of their waking days in the workplace. Though you may look at work as something that you need to get through in order to enjoy the rest of your life, if you make a goal of improving your happiness at work, then your entire life will reap the benefits of your positive perspective. If you find a daily routine that makes your mornings and working days more manageable, then you'll be able to find meaning in your work and in your interactions in the workplace in no time. If you want to know how to be happy at work, then see Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting Your Day Off on the Right Foot\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wake up at least an hour before you need to leave for work.\", \"描述\": \"Enjoy some \\\"me\\\" time before the rush begins. Though your sleep is precious, so is your need for some time to be by yourself without feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself time to eat breakfast, read a little bit, go for a short jog, or to do whatever you need to do to get the day started off on the right foot. Nothing will make you feel better than knowing you already did something for yourself before walking through the front door of your workplace.\\nYou may need to go to bed half an hour earlier or so to get used to doing this. Try to make the most of your time home after work so you don't end up staying up too late for no reason. Though you may be tired when you come home from work, if you just collapse and watch television for hours, you may be liable to stay up late without truly doing anything for yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress for success.\", \"描述\": \"When you leave the house looking good and ready for work, then you are well on your way to having a good day. If you work in a casual environment or in a place with a uniform, then you don't need to add too many personal touches to your look, but you should shower, wash your face and hair, and look generally well-groomed. Not only will looking nice make other people treat you with more respect, but it may leave you feeling more excited about being at work.\\nEven if you show up to work feeling tired, seeing yourself looking put together in the mirror can give you the energy you need to start your day off on the right foot.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leave your personal problems at home.\", \"描述\": \"Though it can be hard to feel happy at work when you're too busy worrying about the fight with your boyfriend, your mother's health, or scrambling to do some last-minute planning for your wedding, learning to push your personal problems aside is the only way you can feel happy in the workplace. Tell yourself that whatever problems you're having will have to wait until work is over, unless they are really important, and go about your work day. \\nIn fact, pushing your personal problems aside can lead you to look forward to work more, because you'll see it as a haven from your problems, instead of a place that's keeping you from addressing them.\\nDon't try to squeeze your personal problems into your work day. Make the phone calls and send the emails you need to send after work hours, or during your lunch break, if necessary. If you try to get your job done while trying to solve your personal problems, you'll be twice as stressed about them because you'll be anxious about finding a time to do both.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get to work at least ten minutes early.\", \"描述\": \"A rushed and bad start will minimise your chances of having a good day and feeling happy at work. If you get to work late, you'll feel like you're behind all day, and like you never have time to catch up. Instead, leave the house at least 15 minutes earlier than you have been, or even earlier, depending on when you normally get to work. You may think that you're winning by rolling in a few minutes late every day, when in reality, you'll be lowering your chances of being happy at work.\\nHaving positive relationships with your bosses and coworkers can have a big impact on how happy you are at work. If you're known for showing up late, then people will look down on you for being a slacker, and your relationships will suffer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Greet your colleagues when you get to work.\", \"描述\": \"When you first walk in the door, make sure to greet as many of your colleagues as you can before you get to work. You'll instantly feel more connected to people and will feel your positive energy growing. You may feel stressed out, rushed, or just plain cranky, but isolating yourself is not the way to make yourself more excited about work. Instead, be friendly when you get to work, even if you don't feel very friendly.\\nRemember that part about getting to work early? One reason you should do so is to have time to connect with your coworkers a bit. If you get in late, you'll feel like you don't have time to say hi to people. But if you take your time, you'll have a few minutes to establish a connection with people without feeling frazzled.\\nIf you don't greet people or rush off to your own office, you'll develop a reputation for being antisocial, whether it's true or not.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Your Work Easier\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a welcoming workspace.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to keep your desk or work area organized and tidy so that you know where everything is and don't waste time looking for lost items. You can have a filing system, or trays on your desk, that help you organize your tasks in terms of what has to be done today, next week, or by the end of the month. Taking just 10 minutes a day to keep your workspace organized can make a big impact on how happy you are at work. You want to feel comforted, not stressed out, when you enter your workspace.\\nPersonalize your cubicle, work space or office. Adding plants, pictures of friends and family, and other personal items leads to increased job satisfaction, if permitted. This will also make your work space feel more like home.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Complete simple tasks as quickly as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Answer correspondence which simply requires an immediate reply (without any research), fax simple returns immediately. Then categorise the rest of your post into \\\"urgent: respond by the end of the week\\\" and so on. Remember that every job completed and not deferred brings a sense of accomplishment which leads to a sense of happiness at work.\\nInstead of dreading completing a task like making a quick phone call or sending an email, just get right to it when you have the time. You'll feel better about it because you'll be able to move on about your day without it nagging at you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take pride in your work.\", \"描述\": \"This refers to tasks big or small from a fax to a report. Professionally presented documents will bring praise and recognition from colleagues and even management; so will a delicious meal made perfectly or an incisive lecture on Shakespeare. Whatever work you do, take pride in the work you've put in as well as in how it impacts people. Everybody loves praise and the happiness and sense of pride in a job well done that it brings.\\nEven if you feel like a lot of your work is monotonous, you should find something to take pride in, whether it's a small aspect of the job (like a report you completed this month) or a finished product (a house you've built).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Treat your clients or customers with respect.\", \"描述\": \"Help them as much as you can. You may find that they will express gratitude in various forms. We all love to feel useful and we all feel happy when people thank us for simply \\\"doing our job\\\" or going the extra mile. Whether you work in an office or in a restaurant, it never helps you to be rude or condescending to other people. You may feel frustrated or impatient, but having a negative interaction with people will only make you feel worse. If you want to feel happier in the workplace, then you should work to foster a positive relationship with the people you work with.\\nOf course, if someone is really treating you poorly, then you may not be able to put a big smile on your face. If you work on being patient and staying in control of your emotions, you'll be improving your attitude at work for sure.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be as physically active as you can at work.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may feel like you're strapped to your desk all day, or stuck in one position, there are a number of things you can do to improve the amount of physical activity you can do during your work day; being more physically active will make you feel more energized and happier. This can start with your commute: you can try to walk or bike to work, or just to find a way of getting there that requires some physical exercise, even if it means walking a little longer to catch a bus. Once you're in the workplace, here are some things you can do to get more exercise at work: \\nTake the stairs instead of the elevator\\nWalk to a co-worker's office instead of sending an email to ask a question\\nLeave the office to walk across the street to get coffee\\nGo outside to eat your lunch\\nGet a standing desk to burn more calories while you work\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take breaks.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be happier in your workplace, then you have to take breaks from your work from time to time. You don't want to feel repressed or like you can't leave your desk or go outside until you're done with your work day. Studies show that it's important to take a break at least every 90 minutes; step away from your computer or whatever task your doing and take 10 minutes to rest your eyes, stretch, take a short walk, make a brief phone call, or even read a little bit. If you have the luxury of taking a break from your work, then you should make a habit of it if you want to feel happier.\\nIf you work inside an office building, you should make sure you leave the building at least once or twice a day, if you're allowed. If you start feeling cooped up in all that stale air conditioning and fluorescent lighting, it can have a serious negative effect on your mood. Stepping outside to get some sunlight and fresh air from time to time will make you happier as you go about your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid multitasking.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may think that multitasking can help you get your work done faster, it has been shown to actually slow you down, not allowing you to fully immerse yourself in one task. You should check your email, respond to any emails you need to read, and then move on to project A, and then move on to report B, etc, if you want to systematically check items off your work to-do list. If you end up doing five tasks halfway, then you'll feel less of a sense of accomplishment than if you fully completed one or two tasks.\\nIt can help to write a to-do list at the beginning of your work day and to go about checking items off of it. You'll feel more accomplished, and therefore, happier in the process.\\nDo not waste time reading junk mail. Sift through your e-mails and delete all jokes and sappy messages from friends. Ask your friends to only send e-mails to your home. Wasting valuable working hours at work will lead to increased stress and rob you of happiness. It'll also keep you from being focused on the task at hand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Your Coworkers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steer clear of cliques.\", \"描述\": \"It is especially important to avoid groups which target co-workers and management: negativity drains you of energy and blocks happiness and positive thoughts. Work on being friendly with everyone instead of joining a group of just three or four people and alienating everyone else. You don't want to join a clique and then find that the people in it turn on you. Instead, try to be on good terms with everyone without becoming stuck in one social circle; your happiness will grow as a result.\\nThough you may feel temporary satisfaction when you're \\\"in\\\" with a group of people, in the long run, it will lead to drama you don't want.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer praise as well as criticism.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to speak up when you think that something in your workplace can be improved. However, it's equally important to point out when your coworkers or company is doing something right. If you thought everything at your workplace was done incorrectly, then you wouldn't be working there, would you? Make sure to speak up to give praise when it's needed so that you stay upbeat and make yourself aware of all the good things your job has to offer.\\nIf you're only complaining and being a negative Nancy all the time, then you'll get a bad reputation. One main way to be happy in your workplace is to make friends with your colleagues, so you want to maintain a good reputation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be friends with your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that one of the best ways to be almost as happy at work as you are away from work is to be friends with your coworkers. Though you may feel like you have enough friends, you should get to know your coworkers so that you're excited to see them every day and that you feel more connected in the workplace. You should give your coworkers your time, make small talk with them, and work on building closer relationships. Though you can't be best friends with everyone, you should seek friendships with the people who really matter to you. \\nFind opportunities to socialize at your workplace. Go grab coffee or hang out in the break room with your coworkers, or even step out for lunch with them. Try to isolate yourself as little as possible.\\nIf you have people to connect with in your workplace, then you won't look at it as this place that's just a punishment until you can return to your real life. Who knows, you may even look forward to getting up to go to work in the morning because you can't wait to catch up with your coworkers over lunch!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"When you are talking to colleagues or clients and you have your arms folded across your chest, not only will you be sending the wrong signals but you will unconsciously be blocking your ability to communicate openly. Open communication reminds us of our common humanity and brings happiness as a result. Having open body language can make you happier at work because your coworkers will be more likely to have positive interactions with you.\\nStanding tall and looking ahead instead of at the ground will also help you project confidence, which is what you'll need to gain respect in the workplace and to feel happier.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid negative people at all costs.\", \"描述\": \"Colleagues who moan and whine about personal or work issues, will drag you down and prevent the workplace from being a happy one. Instead, focus on people who are positive, upbeat, and who have an optimistic attitude about their work. If one of your coworkers is complaining about work too much, then you will start to find a million things wrong with your job. Of course, it's important to be observant, but you shouldn't let other coworkers lower your happiness.\\nAvoid gossip. If you want to be happy at work, then don't get involved in office drama or idle gossip. Stick to talking about the things you care about and the things that make you happy. If you are known as a gossip, you'll soon be the target, and this won't help your happiness at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't overextend yourself.\", \"描述\": \"One way you can make yourself happier at work is to stop saying yes when you really mean no. Though you may want to do everyone a favor, you should stick to your guns when you know you have too much on your plate. Be honest with your boss or your coworkers when you feel like you already have too much to do instead of getting overwhelmed and feeling like the work will never end. This will lead you to be happier, and to immerse yourself in the tasks you are capable of doing, instead of trying to please everybody. \\nIf you feel like you want to help a colleague out but are too crunched for time, say that you can't do the task he or she wants you to do right now, but that you'd like to help out with something else in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintaining a Positive Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make the most of every work day.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are looking for another position and just biding your time, remember that your boss will have to write a testimonial or reference letter for you. If you are a happy, committed and quality-driven employee, chances are, the reference will be a positive one and may just land you that job you seek. Even if you're feeling bummed out or frustrated at work, try putting on happy face — it's been proven to actually make people feel happier.\\nThere's absolutely nothing you can lose from trying to be as happy as you can in the workplace. If you're feeling negative, complaining, or ranting to other coworkers, you're guaranteed to feel worse.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find meaning in your work.\", \"描述\": \"One important way to feel happy at work is to find some meaning in the work you do. You don't have to be the CEO of a non-profit to feel like you're making a difference in people's lives. Whether you're a teacher, a waitress, or a corporate executive, you have to find a reason to do the work you do. You could be helping people, whether they are students, customers, or clients. If you struggle to find any meaning in the work you do, then it may get pretty difficult to be happy at work.\\nYou may feel like a lot of your job is filled with drudgery, which can lead you to forget the bigger picture. If you're a teacher, for example, you may spend so much time grading papers that you forget that you're teaching children to love literature or to develop their powers of reasoning. Take a moment to remind yourself why the work you do means something and you'll see your happiness soar.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't obsess over your salary.\", \"描述\": \"Though not being fairly compensated or feeling like you're more than overdue for a raise is unpleasant, you can't let this thought control your every move. If you step out for lunch, don't tell yourself that enjoying a burger and fries with your coworkers is the equivalent of working for half an hour; if you start to follow this line of thinking, you'll soon be filled with despair. Instead, draw up a larger budget and stick to it, but don't think of every little dollar you spend as being some fraction of your salary. \\nOf course, if you feel that you are more than overqualified for your job, then you may be happier at a higher-paying position that is better suited to your needs. You can also ask your boss for a raise, if you feel that you deserve it. However, remember that increasing your salary by a marginal percentage won't make you happier for long.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think about all of the people who need you.\", \"描述\": \"If you're feeling down in the dumps about your time at work, take a minute to think about all of the people who depend on you. Think of your students, your fellow waitstaff, the other people in your office, or whoever depends on you in your work environment. Think about what would happen if you didn't show up to a day of work — or didn't show up ever again. Many people would suffer and wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Remind yourself how valuable you are the next time you have doubts about whether your current employment situation is right for you. \\nYou can also take some time to think about all of the people at work you need to go about your day. This will make you realize that you're in a supportive, collaborative environment and that you and your colleagues really need each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself for a job well done.\", \"描述\": \"Though productivity is important, so is mental health. If you want to be happy at work, then you should periodically reward yourself for getting through a certain task or getting done with your work day. You can schedule a happy hour at work after a series of what you know will be stressful meetings. You can enjoy a sugar cookie after teaching two of your hardest classes. You can spend ten minutes reading up on your celebrity gossip after turning in a complicated report. Find whatever motivates you to get your work done and use it as a reward after a hard day.\\nHaving rewards for yourself will also give you something to look forward to throughout your work day. You may be more energetic and efficient if you know that you'll have a romantic dinner date with your partner after a day of work.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make time for your friends and family.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how busy you may be, it's always important to make time for the people closest to you. If you spend all of your energy on your job or complaining about your job, then you won't be able to stop and enjoy life. If you want to create a healthy balance between work and play, then you should make sure to see one of your friends at least once a week and to check in with your family, whether it's over the phone or in person, at least once a week so you feel connected to the outside world. You'll be happier at work if you have more love, family, and friendship in your life. \\nWhen you feel like you're too busy to return a friend's call, ask yourself if there's something you can cut back on to give yourself time to do the things you love. Chances are, you can spend half an hour less watching TV, browsing Facebook, or repeatedly hitting the snooze button and devote that time to catching up with someone you care about.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know when your work just isn't working.\", \"描述\": \"Though there are many things you can do to be happier at work, there may come a time when you realize that nothing you do can truly make you happy at work. Maybe it's because you're treated unfairly in your workplace. Maybe you're doing something you don't really believe in instead of pursuing your passion. Maybe you just feel completely worn down and uninspired. If you've come to the conclusion that nothing you do can really make you happy at work, then it's time to start looking for more meaningful, fulfilling work. \\nOf course, finding an amazing job is easier said than done in today's job market. But even beginning the act of looking can give you more hope and meaning in your life.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"If you have been a negative, whining and unprofessional employee up to now, it may take people a little while to get used to the new and happier you. Persevere, and remember that your happiness at work, at home, or wherever you are is up to you. Happiness is an attitude and a conscious decision. Make the right choice!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
3,812 | How to Be Happy for Others | 1. Changing Your Attitude to be Positive and Grateful
1-1. Use positive affirmations to change your thinking.
Positive affirmations are simply the method of repeating a positive statement to yourself regularly to help you change your outlook and perspective. This practice can reduce stress and the defensive associated with threats to our sense of self. .
Repeat a simple statement about being happy for others every time you are faced with a situation that makes it difficult.
Use declarative statements in your positive affirmations.
Try a statement like, “I can be happy for others and appreciate their hard work,” or “I am happy for my friends and family because I want them to be happy too.”
1-2. Don’t let yourself be competitive when there’s no need to be.
Feeling as though you need to compete with those close to you can be exhausting. It’s hard enough to build a life you can be happy in without seeing the victories of others as losses for you. Strive to celebrate their successes and you won’t have to experience the stress and frustration of seeing their victories in the wrong light.
A victory for others is not a loss for you. Share in their triumphs and they will learn to share in yours.
Use other’s accomplishments as inspiration for your own.
1-3. Ask yourself if you want to be happy.
Feeling jealous others can be extremely stressful and often isn’t necessary. Instead, take a step back and ask yourself if you would rather be happy.
By holding on to a negative frame of mind like jealousy, we are choosing to be unhappy. Instead, choose to close yourself off to negative emotions.
Much like pushing out negative thoughts, push out negative emotions by focusing on positive ones.
Making the choice to be happy is symbolic, but the commitment to change your thinking must be real.
1-4. Make their victory your own.
It may be easy to see other people’s victories in a way that makes them seem to compete with your own; instead consider the ways they are also yours. Give yourself the opportunity to make it all about you (inside your head).
Think of the ways you helped your friend or coworker in the recent or extended past.
Think of the times you answered questions, listened patiently or gave a reassuring word. Those were your investments in their success, and now you can share in it.
1-5. Don’t think anyone succeeds to spite you.
Everyone is going through their own journey, and for most of us each journey involves a fair amount of highs and lows. When someone reaches one of their high points, don’t assume it has anything to do with you, but rather is a part of the journey they started long ago.
Remember the success of others is not personal, nor is it directed at you.
Remove yourself from the equation and look at the situation again. You likely play a very little role in the person’s motivations.
2. Using Your Actions to Shift Your Thinking
2-1. Exude positivity.
Being happy for others can be difficult when you allow jealousy to skew your perspective. Instead, focus on being positive. Even if you are unimpressed by the success of your friends, appreciate that their accomplishment means something to them.
By being positive toward your friends when they succeed, you will help establish a supportive relationship with your friends that will benefit you both.
Projecting positivity can help make you feel happier. It feels good to share in the joy of others, and you may find the positive feeling alone makes it worth the effort.
2-2. Make a list of things that you’re grateful for regularly.
If you have trouble overcoming feelings of jealousy when you see others succeed, it may be because you are under representing your own accomplishments, successes or possessions in your mind.
Make a list of all the things you have that you should be grateful for.
Review the list from time to time and add to it when you can.
Think of your list whenever you feel the urge to be jealous of someone else.
2-3. Fake it until you make it.
You may have decided to make the shift toward being happy for other people, but that doesn’t change the way you feel. Instead, control your outward appearance to indicate that you are happy for others.
Sometimes it’s okay to say something nice artificially, the gesture is still meaningful.
You may find that you enjoy the act of celebrating other’s accomplishments, making it easier to transition toward genuine appreciation.
2-4. Share in the happiness of others.
Allowing the happiness of others to make you happy can build strong relationships. Relationships develop or shift based on the way you interact with one another, and by demonstrating your happiness for others, those people are more likely to advocate on your behalf in the future.
Sharing in the happiness in others is a great way to make friends and establish strong professional relationships.
The good impression you make on others can benefit you both socially and professionally.
3. Using Positivity in Conversation
3-1. Only use positive words when talking and push out negative thoughts.
You will find it much easier to be happy for others if you gain control of how you speak and what you think about. Don’t allow yourself to focus on negative aspects of anything and manage your dialogue in a positive fashion.
Don’t let negative thoughts overwhelm you, focus on positive things. With practice, controlling your focus will get easier.
Choose to say positive words to your coworkers and friends to place you in a more positive mindset and demonstrate your happiness for them.
3-2. Give straightforward compliments.
You don’t need to be particularly creative in how you demonstrate that you are happy for others. Try giving them a straightforward compliment about the effort they’ve put forth or the situation they find themselves in.
Give them the compliment face to face when possible.
Keep it simple. Try something like, “congratulations on your promotion, I know how hard you worked for it!”
3-3. Shine the spotlight on others to share in it.
One of the best ways to demonstrate that you are happy for others is to draw attention to their accomplishments or successes.
By shining the spotlight on the successes of others, you share in the spotlight and establish yourself as a team player.
The people you point out will likely appreciate the gesture, strengthening your relationship with them and encouraging others to do the same.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Attitude to be Positive and Grateful\\n1-1. Use positive affirmations to change your thinking.\\nPositive affirmations are simply the method of repeating a positive statement to yourself regularly to help you change your outlook and perspective. This practice can reduce stress and the defensive associated with threats to our sense of self. .\\nRepeat a simple statement about being happy for others every time you are faced with a situation that makes it difficult.\\nUse declarative statements in your positive affirmations.\\nTry a statement like, “I can be happy for others and appreciate their hard work,” or “I am happy for my friends and family because I want them to be happy too.”\\n1-2. Don’t let yourself be competitive when there’s no need to be.\\nFeeling as though you need to compete with those close to you can be exhausting. It’s hard enough to build a life you can be happy in without seeing the victories of others as losses for you. Strive to celebrate their successes and you won’t have to experience the stress and frustration of seeing their victories in the wrong light.\\nA victory for others is not a loss for you. Share in their triumphs and they will learn to share in yours.\\nUse other’s accomplishments as inspiration for your own.\\n1-3. Ask yourself if you want to be happy.\\nFeeling jealous others can be extremely stressful and often isn’t necessary. Instead, take a step back and ask yourself if you would rather be happy.\\nBy holding on to a negative frame of mind like jealousy, we are choosing to be unhappy. Instead, choose to close yourself off to negative emotions.\\nMuch like pushing out negative thoughts, push out negative emotions by focusing on positive ones.\\nMaking the choice to be happy is symbolic, but the commitment to change your thinking must be real.\\n1-4. Make their victory your own.\\nIt may be easy to see other people’s victories in a way that makes them seem to compete with your own; instead consider the ways they are also yours. Give yourself the opportunity to make it all about you (inside your head).\\nThink of the ways you helped your friend or coworker in the recent or extended past.\\nThink of the times you answered questions, listened patiently or gave a reassuring word. Those were your investments in their success, and now you can share in it.\\n1-5. Don’t think anyone succeeds to spite you.\\nEveryone is going through their own journey, and for most of us each journey involves a fair amount of highs and lows. When someone reaches one of their high points, don’t assume it has anything to do with you, but rather is a part of the journey they started long ago.\\nRemember the success of others is not personal, nor is it directed at you.\\nRemove yourself from the equation and look at the situation again. You likely play a very little role in the person’s motivations.\\n2. Using Your Actions to Shift Your Thinking\\n2-1. Exude positivity.\\nBeing happy for others can be difficult when you allow jealousy to skew your perspective. Instead, focus on being positive. Even if you are unimpressed by the success of your friends, appreciate that their accomplishment means something to them.\\nBy being positive toward your friends when they succeed, you will help establish a supportive relationship with your friends that will benefit you both.\\nProjecting positivity can help make you feel happier. It feels good to share in the joy of others, and you may find the positive feeling alone makes it worth the effort.\\n2-2. Make a list of things that you’re grateful for regularly.\\nIf you have trouble overcoming feelings of jealousy when you see others succeed, it may be because you are under representing your own accomplishments, successes or possessions in your mind.\\nMake a list of all the things you have that you should be grateful for.\\nReview the list from time to time and add to it when you can.\\nThink of your list whenever you feel the urge to be jealous of someone else.\\n2-3. Fake it until you make it.\\nYou may have decided to make the shift toward being happy for other people, but that doesn’t change the way you feel. Instead, control your outward appearance to indicate that you are happy for others.\\nSometimes it’s okay to say something nice artificially, the gesture is still meaningful.\\nYou may find that you enjoy the act of celebrating other’s accomplishments, making it easier to transition toward genuine appreciation.\\n2-4. Share in the happiness of others.\\nAllowing the happiness of others to make you happy can build strong relationships. Relationships develop or shift based on the way you interact with one another, and by demonstrating your happiness for others, those people are more likely to advocate on your behalf in the future.\\nSharing in the happiness in others is a great way to make friends and establish strong professional relationships.\\nThe good impression you make on others can benefit you both socially and professionally.\\n3. Using Positivity in Conversation\\n3-1. Only use positive words when talking and push out negative thoughts.\\nYou will find it much easier to be happy for others if you gain control of how you speak and what you think about. Don’t allow yourself to focus on negative aspects of anything and manage your dialogue in a positive fashion.\\nDon’t let negative thoughts overwhelm you, focus on positive things. With practice, controlling your focus will get easier.\\nChoose to say positive words to your coworkers and friends to place you in a more positive mindset and demonstrate your happiness for them.\\n3-2. Give straightforward compliments.\\nYou don’t need to be particularly creative in how you demonstrate that you are happy for others. Try giving them a straightforward compliment about the effort they’ve put forth or the situation they find themselves in.\\nGive them the compliment face to face when possible.\\nKeep it simple. Try something like, “congratulations on your promotion, I know how hard you worked for it!”\\n3-3. Shine the spotlight on others to share in it.\\nOne of the best ways to demonstrate that you are happy for others is to draw attention to their accomplishments or successes.\\nBy shining the spotlight on the successes of others, you share in the spotlight and establish yourself as a team player.\\nThe people you point out will likely appreciate the gesture, strengthening your relationship with them and encouraging others to do the same.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be difficult to be happy for others at times, but overcoming those jealous tendencies can lead to significant improvements in your professional or social life, as well as your emotional wellbeing. You can free yourself from the stress and anxiety you experience when others succeed by focusing on the things that you’re grateful for and on the reasons it’s good for you, and for them, that you share in their joy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Attitude to be Positive and Grateful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use positive affirmations to change your thinking.\", \"描述\": \"Positive affirmations are simply the method of repeating a positive statement to yourself regularly to help you change your outlook and perspective. This practice can reduce stress and the defensive associated with threats to our sense of self. .\\nRepeat a simple statement about being happy for others every time you are faced with a situation that makes it difficult.\\nUse declarative statements in your positive affirmations.\\nTry a statement like, “I can be happy for others and appreciate their hard work,” or “I am happy for my friends and family because I want them to be happy too.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t let yourself be competitive when there’s no need to be.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling as though you need to compete with those close to you can be exhausting. It’s hard enough to build a life you can be happy in without seeing the victories of others as losses for you. Strive to celebrate their successes and you won’t have to experience the stress and frustration of seeing their victories in the wrong light.\\nA victory for others is not a loss for you. Share in their triumphs and they will learn to share in yours.\\nUse other’s accomplishments as inspiration for your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if you want to be happy.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling jealous others can be extremely stressful and often isn’t necessary. Instead, take a step back and ask yourself if you would rather be happy.\\nBy holding on to a negative frame of mind like jealousy, we are choosing to be unhappy. Instead, choose to close yourself off to negative emotions.\\nMuch like pushing out negative thoughts, push out negative emotions by focusing on positive ones.\\nMaking the choice to be happy is symbolic, but the commitment to change your thinking must be real.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make their victory your own.\", \"描述\": \"It may be easy to see other people’s victories in a way that makes them seem to compete with your own; instead consider the ways they are also yours. Give yourself the opportunity to make it all about you (inside your head).\\nThink of the ways you helped your friend or coworker in the recent or extended past.\\nThink of the times you answered questions, listened patiently or gave a reassuring word. Those were your investments in their success, and now you can share in it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t think anyone succeeds to spite you.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone is going through their own journey, and for most of us each journey involves a fair amount of highs and lows. When someone reaches one of their high points, don’t assume it has anything to do with you, but rather is a part of the journey they started long ago.\\nRemember the success of others is not personal, nor is it directed at you.\\nRemove yourself from the equation and look at the situation again. You likely play a very little role in the person’s motivations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Your Actions to Shift Your Thinking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exude positivity.\", \"描述\": \"Being happy for others can be difficult when you allow jealousy to skew your perspective. Instead, focus on being positive. Even if you are unimpressed by the success of your friends, appreciate that their accomplishment means something to them.\\nBy being positive toward your friends when they succeed, you will help establish a supportive relationship with your friends that will benefit you both.\\nProjecting positivity can help make you feel happier. It feels good to share in the joy of others, and you may find the positive feeling alone makes it worth the effort.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a list of things that you’re grateful for regularly.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble overcoming feelings of jealousy when you see others succeed, it may be because you are under representing your own accomplishments, successes or possessions in your mind.\\nMake a list of all the things you have that you should be grateful for.\\nReview the list from time to time and add to it when you can.\\nThink of your list whenever you feel the urge to be jealous of someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fake it until you make it.\", \"描述\": \"You may have decided to make the shift toward being happy for other people, but that doesn’t change the way you feel. Instead, control your outward appearance to indicate that you are happy for others.\\nSometimes it’s okay to say something nice artificially, the gesture is still meaningful.\\nYou may find that you enjoy the act of celebrating other’s accomplishments, making it easier to transition toward genuine appreciation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share in the happiness of others.\", \"描述\": \"Allowing the happiness of others to make you happy can build strong relationships. Relationships develop or shift based on the way you interact with one another, and by demonstrating your happiness for others, those people are more likely to advocate on your behalf in the future.\\nSharing in the happiness in others is a great way to make friends and establish strong professional relationships.\\nThe good impression you make on others can benefit you both socially and professionally.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Positivity in Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Only use positive words when talking and push out negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"You will find it much easier to be happy for others if you gain control of how you speak and what you think about. Don’t allow yourself to focus on negative aspects of anything and manage your dialogue in a positive fashion.\\nDon’t let negative thoughts overwhelm you, focus on positive things. With practice, controlling your focus will get easier.\\nChoose to say positive words to your coworkers and friends to place you in a more positive mindset and demonstrate your happiness for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give straightforward compliments.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to be particularly creative in how you demonstrate that you are happy for others. Try giving them a straightforward compliment about the effort they’ve put forth or the situation they find themselves in.\\nGive them the compliment face to face when possible.\\nKeep it simple. Try something like, “congratulations on your promotion, I know how hard you worked for it!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shine the spotlight on others to share in it.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to demonstrate that you are happy for others is to draw attention to their accomplishments or successes.\\nBy shining the spotlight on the successes of others, you share in the spotlight and establish yourself as a team player.\\nThe people you point out will likely appreciate the gesture, strengthening your relationship with them and encouraging others to do the same.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,813 | How to Be Happy in One Sided Love | 1. Handling a One-sided Relationship
1-1. Recognize what’s going on.
Before you can handle or be happy in a one-sided relationship, you have to recognize that it is one-sided. Think about the way you and your partner relate to and sacrifice for each other. If you are consistently doing more than your mate, you are probably in a one-sided relationship.
Are you always the one to say “I love you” first?
Do you generally have to be the one to suggest that the two of you spend time together?
Are you usually the one doing sweet things for your significant other, while she rarely seems to think of you?
1-2. Change your relationship with yourself.
Focusing on yourself will help you be more aware of how you honestly feel about your partner and the relationship. It will also make you happier with yourself.
Take care of your needs and wants. It can be easy to put your partner’s desires before your own. Take care of yourself like you take care of your mate.
Spend time away from your partner developing your own interests.
Make sure you are loving and respecting yourself.
1-3. Set boundaries
Take some time to think seriously about what is and isn’t okay for your partner to do. For example, you might be okay being the one to say “I love you” first, but may not think it’s okay for him to ignore your calls. Figuring out where you draw the line will help you be happier because you won’t feel like you are being taken advantage of.
Talk to your partner about your relationship boundaries. Let them know where the line is before he crosses it.
Consider what you will do if they ignore your boundaries. Think about how you will handle it.
1-4. Recognize celebrity crushes.
If you are in love with a celebrity or someone famous who you have never met, keep in mind that this is okay and normal, but that this is infatuation and not love. Loving someone implies that you have a relationship with that person and know her personally. If you have an infatuation with a celebrity that you feel like borders on obsession and is making you unhappy, then check out How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession.
1-5. Ask yourself if this is a healthy relationship for you.
For a relationship to work and be healthy, both partners need to be willing to put in the effort to address problems, help care for each other, and support each other. If your partner is not willing to put in the work, then it is not truly a partnership. Ask your partner if he would consider going to counseling to address your feelings that the relationship is one-sided and strategize about how to make things more balanced.
If your partner is not willing to put forth the effort, ask yourself if this is what you really want from a relationship and if it's healthy for your own wellbeing. You may love your partner, but you deserve to be loved and supported too. You may need to end the relationship to find someone who will give you the love and attention you deserve.
Sometimes, you might really like a person—but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're compatible together.
2. Communicate Your Love
2-1. Be yourself
Don’t try to change yourself to make someone love you. The person will see through it and be mad at you for lying to her. Also, trying to impress her will stress you and you won’t feel good about yourself knowing that you are lying to her. You will be much happier knowing that you are being true to yourself and giving her the chance to love the real you.
If you don’t normally like football, then don’t sit through a game just because your love interest mentions that she likes it.
Don’t compromise your values or beliefs to get her to love you. Doing the things that you know and feel are right will make you feel good about yourself.
Know that if someone loves you, she would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.
2-2. Tell the person.
If your love interest doesn't know how you feel, then let him know. For all you know he could love you also, but just be afraid to tell you or not know how to show it. You’ll feel happier once you let him know. At least then you won’t be wondering how he feels and you can decide what you need to do about the situation.
If your love is a friend, you might try saying, “I really value our friendship and don’t want to lose it, but I also want you to know that I love you.”
If you still love your ex, then try saying, “Even though we had problems, I still love you.”
2-3. Don’t be a stalker.
A healthy love interest is someone who shares your values, is someone you can trust and rely upon, and is someone who is also interested in you. If your love interest doesn't know you at all, has never spoken to you or only once briefly, doesn't know your family, life details, middle name, etc., then this may be an unhealthy relationship bordering on obsession. Being in a one-sided love can sometimes cross into harassment, stalking, or obsession if you let it. You certainly won’t be happy if your love interest feels like you are bothering her. She can become afraid or mad at you, and you could also get into serious legal trouble.
If you don't have a relationship with this person — this is someone you admire from afar and have never (or barely) interacted with her — then you are experiencing an infatuation, and not love.
Do you really know this person, or do you just know about her? Have you talked with her, gotten to know what she likes, and really seen her personality? Or do you love your perception of her? You can't truly be in love with someone you don't actually know.
If she asks you to leave her alone, then respect her wishes and leave her alone.
Don’t contact her repeatedly. Stick to your normal level of contact.
Don’t follow her around or give her unwanted gifts.
Don’t troll her social media pages.
3. Being Honest With Yourself
3-1. Be honest about the situation.
Accepting it for what it is can help you decide if you want to keep on loving this person and waiting for him to love you, or if you want to move on. Being honest with yourself about the situation will help you be happy with whatever you decide.
For example, If your love interest is in a long-term relationship and has told you he doesn't love you, then don’t pretend he just needs to get to know you better. It will just hurt you in the long-run.
If your crush doesn’t know that you love him, then be honest with yourself that this isn’t one-sided love. It could simply be a lack of communication between you two.
If you love your ex, be honest with yourself that there might be good reasons why aren’t together. Think about why you broke up and if this is really the right person for you.
3-2. Be honest about who you love.
Sometimes we love the idea of someone without really getting to know her. Be honest with yourself about what you know about your love interest and if this is the type of person that is worthy of your love. Knowing that the person is worth your love will make you happier in your decision to love her.
Are there big warning signs that you are overlooking? Is this person mean to you or others? Does she cheat on her current love?
Is this someone that you know well, like a friend, and accept both the good and bad about her?
3-3. Be honest about why you won’t move on.
There are lots of different reasons why people end up in one-sided love. Figuring out why you are will help you know what to do about it to be happy.
For example, is this a pattern for you? Do you fall in love easily or just love being in love, regardless of whether it could really work out or not?
Is the person sending you signs that he might love you also? Is he keeping you hanging?
Is this your ex and you still want to be together?
3-4. Be honest about the future.
Sometimes we can be overly optimistic about how things will turn out in the future. We think that magically things will work out like they do in the movies. Being honest about whether or not the person will ever love you is a big step in being happy with the situation.
Think honestly about how you will handle it if your love interests tell you she loves you, too.
Consider how you will take it if she tells you that she will never love you.
Think about how long you can honestly be happy while you wait for her to love you.
3-5. Consider your options.
Decide if this is what you really want. Once you are honest with yourself about the possible outcomes for this situation, you can make a decision about what you want to do. Thinking about your options in this situation can help you figure out what is really going to make you happy right now and in the future.
Consider whether you want to keep loving this person even though he doesn't love you. If this will make you happy, then accept that it won’t be easy but that you will make the best of it.
Think about whether you will be happier if you move on and allow yourself the opportunity to love someone else and be loved in return.
Don’t limit yourself by thinking this is the only person you will ever love. Someone else will come along for you to love and to love you in return.
4. Being Happy with Yourself
4-1. Boost your self-esteem.
You may feel a sense of rejection because your love is not returned. Don’t let the fact that your love is one-sided make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone, at some time, has loved someone who didn’t love them back. Remember that you are an amazing person and that there are lots of things to love about yourself.
Keep a journal or list of reasons why you are lovable. Update it or read it at least daily.
Especially if your love doesn’t know you, remind yourself that you’ve given her no reason not to love you.
Remember that loving yourself is the first and most important step in getting anyone else to love you.
4-2. Do things you like.
One-sided love can sometimes cause you to feel anxious, stressed, and depressed, so make sure you take the time to do things that keep your attitude positive. Doing things you like will make you happier in general, which will include being happy in one-sided love.
Your interests and hobbies are also what could make you interesting to your love. You could end up doing something that makes your love look at you in a positive new light.
For example, if you play tennis, then keep practicing to get better and better.
Develop new interests. Some research suggests that the same areas of the brain that control your feelings of love control creativity. So put this extra creativity to good use and learn some new skills or talents.
4-3. Rely on your friends.
Not only can they help you keep a good perspective on the situation, they can also support you. They can remind you of how lovable you are, which makes talking to and spending time with your friends is a good way to be happy when you’re in a one-sided love.
Talk to them about your feelings and get their opinion on the situation.
Talk about things other than your love interest. Your friends want to hear about the rest of your amazing life, too.
Trust them to let you know if your feelings are getting out of hand.
Tips
Realize that you might be happier without this person.
Warnings
If they love someone else, then don’t start problems with that person. It will only make your love mad at you, not love you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Handling a One-sided Relationship\\n1-1. Recognize what’s going on.\\nBefore you can handle or be happy in a one-sided relationship, you have to recognize that it is one-sided. Think about the way you and your partner relate to and sacrifice for each other. If you are consistently doing more than your mate, you are probably in a one-sided relationship. \\nAre you always the one to say “I love you” first?\\nDo you generally have to be the one to suggest that the two of you spend time together?\\nAre you usually the one doing sweet things for your significant other, while she rarely seems to think of you?\\n1-2. Change your relationship with yourself.\\nFocusing on yourself will help you be more aware of how you honestly feel about your partner and the relationship. It will also make you happier with yourself.\\nTake care of your needs and wants. It can be easy to put your partner’s desires before your own. Take care of yourself like you take care of your mate.\\nSpend time away from your partner developing your own interests.\\nMake sure you are loving and respecting yourself.\\n1-3. Set boundaries\\nTake some time to think seriously about what is and isn’t okay for your partner to do. For example, you might be okay being the one to say “I love you” first, but may not think it’s okay for him to ignore your calls. Figuring out where you draw the line will help you be happier because you won’t feel like you are being taken advantage of. \\nTalk to your partner about your relationship boundaries. Let them know where the line is before he crosses it.\\nConsider what you will do if they ignore your boundaries. Think about how you will handle it.\\n1-4. Recognize celebrity crushes.\\nIf you are in love with a celebrity or someone famous who you have never met, keep in mind that this is okay and normal, but that this is infatuation and not love. Loving someone implies that you have a relationship with that person and know her personally. If you have an infatuation with a celebrity that you feel like borders on obsession and is making you unhappy, then check out How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession.\\n1-5. Ask yourself if this is a healthy relationship for you.\\nFor a relationship to work and be healthy, both partners need to be willing to put in the effort to address problems, help care for each other, and support each other. If your partner is not willing to put in the work, then it is not truly a partnership. Ask your partner if he would consider going to counseling to address your feelings that the relationship is one-sided and strategize about how to make things more balanced. \\nIf your partner is not willing to put forth the effort, ask yourself if this is what you really want from a relationship and if it's healthy for your own wellbeing. You may love your partner, but you deserve to be loved and supported too. You may need to end the relationship to find someone who will give you the love and attention you deserve.\\nSometimes, you might really like a person—but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're compatible together.\\n2. Communicate Your Love\\n2-1. Be yourself\\nDon’t try to change yourself to make someone love you. The person will see through it and be mad at you for lying to her. Also, trying to impress her will stress you and you won’t feel good about yourself knowing that you are lying to her. You will be much happier knowing that you are being true to yourself and giving her the chance to love the real you.\\nIf you don’t normally like football, then don’t sit through a game just because your love interest mentions that she likes it.\\nDon’t compromise your values or beliefs to get her to love you. Doing the things that you know and feel are right will make you feel good about yourself.\\nKnow that if someone loves you, she would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.\\n2-2. Tell the person.\\nIf your love interest doesn't know how you feel, then let him know. For all you know he could love you also, but just be afraid to tell you or not know how to show it. You’ll feel happier once you let him know. At least then you won’t be wondering how he feels and you can decide what you need to do about the situation.\\nIf your love is a friend, you might try saying, “I really value our friendship and don’t want to lose it, but I also want you to know that I love you.”\\nIf you still love your ex, then try saying, “Even though we had problems, I still love you.”\\n2-3. Don’t be a stalker.\\nA healthy love interest is someone who shares your values, is someone you can trust and rely upon, and is someone who is also interested in you. If your love interest doesn't know you at all, has never spoken to you or only once briefly, doesn't know your family, life details, middle name, etc., then this may be an unhealthy relationship bordering on obsession. Being in a one-sided love can sometimes cross into harassment, stalking, or obsession if you let it. You certainly won’t be happy if your love interest feels like you are bothering her. She can become afraid or mad at you, and you could also get into serious legal trouble. \\nIf you don't have a relationship with this person — this is someone you admire from afar and have never (or barely) interacted with her — then you are experiencing an infatuation, and not love.\\nDo you really know this person, or do you just know about her? Have you talked with her, gotten to know what she likes, and really seen her personality? Or do you love your perception of her? You can't truly be in love with someone you don't actually know.\\nIf she asks you to leave her alone, then respect her wishes and leave her alone.\\nDon’t contact her repeatedly. Stick to your normal level of contact.\\nDon’t follow her around or give her unwanted gifts.\\nDon’t troll her social media pages.\\n3. Being Honest With Yourself\\n3-1. Be honest about the situation.\\nAccepting it for what it is can help you decide if you want to keep on loving this person and waiting for him to love you, or if you want to move on. Being honest with yourself about the situation will help you be happy with whatever you decide.\\nFor example, If your love interest is in a long-term relationship and has told you he doesn't love you, then don’t pretend he just needs to get to know you better. It will just hurt you in the long-run.\\nIf your crush doesn’t know that you love him, then be honest with yourself that this isn’t one-sided love. It could simply be a lack of communication between you two.\\nIf you love your ex, be honest with yourself that there might be good reasons why aren’t together. Think about why you broke up and if this is really the right person for you.\\n3-2. Be honest about who you love.\\nSometimes we love the idea of someone without really getting to know her. Be honest with yourself about what you know about your love interest and if this is the type of person that is worthy of your love. Knowing that the person is worth your love will make you happier in your decision to love her.\\nAre there big warning signs that you are overlooking? Is this person mean to you or others? Does she cheat on her current love?\\nIs this someone that you know well, like a friend, and accept both the good and bad about her?\\n3-3. Be honest about why you won’t move on.\\nThere are lots of different reasons why people end up in one-sided love. Figuring out why you are will help you know what to do about it to be happy.\\nFor example, is this a pattern for you? Do you fall in love easily or just love being in love, regardless of whether it could really work out or not?\\nIs the person sending you signs that he might love you also? Is he keeping you hanging?\\nIs this your ex and you still want to be together?\\n3-4. Be honest about the future.\\nSometimes we can be overly optimistic about how things will turn out in the future. We think that magically things will work out like they do in the movies. Being honest about whether or not the person will ever love you is a big step in being happy with the situation.\\nThink honestly about how you will handle it if your love interests tell you she loves you, too.\\nConsider how you will take it if she tells you that she will never love you.\\nThink about how long you can honestly be happy while you wait for her to love you.\\n3-5. Consider your options.\\nDecide if this is what you really want. Once you are honest with yourself about the possible outcomes for this situation, you can make a decision about what you want to do. Thinking about your options in this situation can help you figure out what is really going to make you happy right now and in the future.\\nConsider whether you want to keep loving this person even though he doesn't love you. If this will make you happy, then accept that it won’t be easy but that you will make the best of it.\\nThink about whether you will be happier if you move on and allow yourself the opportunity to love someone else and be loved in return.\\nDon’t limit yourself by thinking this is the only person you will ever love. Someone else will come along for you to love and to love you in return.\\n4. Being Happy with Yourself\\n4-1. Boost your self-esteem.\\nYou may feel a sense of rejection because your love is not returned. Don’t let the fact that your love is one-sided make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone, at some time, has loved someone who didn’t love them back. Remember that you are an amazing person and that there are lots of things to love about yourself. \\nKeep a journal or list of reasons why you are lovable. Update it or read it at least daily.\\nEspecially if your love doesn’t know you, remind yourself that you’ve given her no reason not to love you.\\nRemember that loving yourself is the first and most important step in getting anyone else to love you.\\n4-2. Do things you like.\\nOne-sided love can sometimes cause you to feel anxious, stressed, and depressed, so make sure you take the time to do things that keep your attitude positive. Doing things you like will make you happier in general, which will include being happy in one-sided love.\\nYour interests and hobbies are also what could make you interesting to your love. You could end up doing something that makes your love look at you in a positive new light.\\nFor example, if you play tennis, then keep practicing to get better and better.\\nDevelop new interests. Some research suggests that the same areas of the brain that control your feelings of love control creativity. So put this extra creativity to good use and learn some new skills or talents.\\n4-3. Rely on your friends.\\nNot only can they help you keep a good perspective on the situation, they can also support you. They can remind you of how lovable you are, which makes talking to and spending time with your friends is a good way to be happy when you’re in a one-sided love.\\nTalk to them about your feelings and get their opinion on the situation.\\nTalk about things other than your love interest. Your friends want to hear about the rest of your amazing life, too.\\nTrust them to let you know if your feelings are getting out of hand.\\nTips\\nRealize that you might be happier without this person.\\nWarnings\\nIf they love someone else, then don’t start problems with that person. It will only make your love mad at you, not love you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Finding yourself in a situation in which the love is one-sided can be difficult. Maybe your love interest is unaware of your feelings; perhaps you are in a relationship, but feel that your partner doesn’t love you as much as you love him or her (or even at all). You may find yourself wondering if you can ever be happy. Examine the relationship realistically and decide if it is a healthy situation for you. Then, with honesty, self-love, and effort you may be happy in one-sided love.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Handling a One-sided Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize what’s going on.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can handle or be happy in a one-sided relationship, you have to recognize that it is one-sided. Think about the way you and your partner relate to and sacrifice for each other. If you are consistently doing more than your mate, you are probably in a one-sided relationship. \\nAre you always the one to say “I love you” first?\\nDo you generally have to be the one to suggest that the two of you spend time together?\\nAre you usually the one doing sweet things for your significant other, while she rarely seems to think of you?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Change your relationship with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Focusing on yourself will help you be more aware of how you honestly feel about your partner and the relationship. It will also make you happier with yourself.\\nTake care of your needs and wants. It can be easy to put your partner’s desires before your own. Take care of yourself like you take care of your mate.\\nSpend time away from your partner developing your own interests.\\nMake sure you are loving and respecting yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries\", \"描述\": \"Take some time to think seriously about what is and isn’t okay for your partner to do. For example, you might be okay being the one to say “I love you” first, but may not think it’s okay for him to ignore your calls. Figuring out where you draw the line will help you be happier because you won’t feel like you are being taken advantage of. \\nTalk to your partner about your relationship boundaries. Let them know where the line is before he crosses it.\\nConsider what you will do if they ignore your boundaries. Think about how you will handle it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize celebrity crushes.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in love with a celebrity or someone famous who you have never met, keep in mind that this is okay and normal, but that this is infatuation and not love. Loving someone implies that you have a relationship with that person and know her personally. If you have an infatuation with a celebrity that you feel like borders on obsession and is making you unhappy, then check out How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if this is a healthy relationship for you.\", \"描述\": \"For a relationship to work and be healthy, both partners need to be willing to put in the effort to address problems, help care for each other, and support each other. If your partner is not willing to put in the work, then it is not truly a partnership. Ask your partner if he would consider going to counseling to address your feelings that the relationship is one-sided and strategize about how to make things more balanced. \\nIf your partner is not willing to put forth the effort, ask yourself if this is what you really want from a relationship and if it's healthy for your own wellbeing. You may love your partner, but you deserve to be loved and supported too. You may need to end the relationship to find someone who will give you the love and attention you deserve.\\nSometimes, you might really like a person—but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're compatible together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate Your Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to change yourself to make someone love you. The person will see through it and be mad at you for lying to her. Also, trying to impress her will stress you and you won’t feel good about yourself knowing that you are lying to her. You will be much happier knowing that you are being true to yourself and giving her the chance to love the real you.\\nIf you don’t normally like football, then don’t sit through a game just because your love interest mentions that she likes it.\\nDon’t compromise your values or beliefs to get her to love you. Doing the things that you know and feel are right will make you feel good about yourself.\\nKnow that if someone loves you, she would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell the person.\", \"描述\": \"If your love interest doesn't know how you feel, then let him know. For all you know he could love you also, but just be afraid to tell you or not know how to show it. You’ll feel happier once you let him know. At least then you won’t be wondering how he feels and you can decide what you need to do about the situation.\\nIf your love is a friend, you might try saying, “I really value our friendship and don’t want to lose it, but I also want you to know that I love you.”\\nIf you still love your ex, then try saying, “Even though we had problems, I still love you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t be a stalker.\", \"描述\": \"A healthy love interest is someone who shares your values, is someone you can trust and rely upon, and is someone who is also interested in you. If your love interest doesn't know you at all, has never spoken to you or only once briefly, doesn't know your family, life details, middle name, etc., then this may be an unhealthy relationship bordering on obsession. Being in a one-sided love can sometimes cross into harassment, stalking, or obsession if you let it. You certainly won’t be happy if your love interest feels like you are bothering her. She can become afraid or mad at you, and you could also get into serious legal trouble. \\nIf you don't have a relationship with this person — this is someone you admire from afar and have never (or barely) interacted with her — then you are experiencing an infatuation, and not love.\\nDo you really know this person, or do you just know about her? Have you talked with her, gotten to know what she likes, and really seen her personality? Or do you love your perception of her? You can't truly be in love with someone you don't actually know.\\nIf she asks you to leave her alone, then respect her wishes and leave her alone.\\nDon’t contact her repeatedly. Stick to your normal level of contact.\\nDon’t follow her around or give her unwanted gifts.\\nDon’t troll her social media pages.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Honest With Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest about the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Accepting it for what it is can help you decide if you want to keep on loving this person and waiting for him to love you, or if you want to move on. Being honest with yourself about the situation will help you be happy with whatever you decide.\\nFor example, If your love interest is in a long-term relationship and has told you he doesn't love you, then don’t pretend he just needs to get to know you better. It will just hurt you in the long-run.\\nIf your crush doesn’t know that you love him, then be honest with yourself that this isn’t one-sided love. It could simply be a lack of communication between you two.\\nIf you love your ex, be honest with yourself that there might be good reasons why aren’t together. Think about why you broke up and if this is really the right person for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be honest about who you love.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes we love the idea of someone without really getting to know her. Be honest with yourself about what you know about your love interest and if this is the type of person that is worthy of your love. Knowing that the person is worth your love will make you happier in your decision to love her.\\nAre there big warning signs that you are overlooking? Is this person mean to you or others? Does she cheat on her current love?\\nIs this someone that you know well, like a friend, and accept both the good and bad about her?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest about why you won’t move on.\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of different reasons why people end up in one-sided love. Figuring out why you are will help you know what to do about it to be happy.\\nFor example, is this a pattern for you? Do you fall in love easily or just love being in love, regardless of whether it could really work out or not?\\nIs the person sending you signs that he might love you also? Is he keeping you hanging?\\nIs this your ex and you still want to be together?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest about the future.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes we can be overly optimistic about how things will turn out in the future. We think that magically things will work out like they do in the movies. Being honest about whether or not the person will ever love you is a big step in being happy with the situation.\\nThink honestly about how you will handle it if your love interests tell you she loves you, too.\\nConsider how you will take it if she tells you that she will never love you.\\nThink about how long you can honestly be happy while you wait for her to love you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider your options.\", \"描述\": \"Decide if this is what you really want. Once you are honest with yourself about the possible outcomes for this situation, you can make a decision about what you want to do. Thinking about your options in this situation can help you figure out what is really going to make you happy right now and in the future.\\nConsider whether you want to keep loving this person even though he doesn't love you. If this will make you happy, then accept that it won’t be easy but that you will make the best of it.\\nThink about whether you will be happier if you move on and allow yourself the opportunity to love someone else and be loved in return.\\nDon’t limit yourself by thinking this is the only person you will ever love. Someone else will come along for you to love and to love you in return.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Happy with Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Boost your self-esteem.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel a sense of rejection because your love is not returned. Don’t let the fact that your love is one-sided make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone, at some time, has loved someone who didn’t love them back. Remember that you are an amazing person and that there are lots of things to love about yourself. \\nKeep a journal or list of reasons why you are lovable. Update it or read it at least daily.\\nEspecially if your love doesn’t know you, remind yourself that you’ve given her no reason not to love you.\\nRemember that loving yourself is the first and most important step in getting anyone else to love you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do things you like.\", \"描述\": \"One-sided love can sometimes cause you to feel anxious, stressed, and depressed, so make sure you take the time to do things that keep your attitude positive. Doing things you like will make you happier in general, which will include being happy in one-sided love.\\nYour interests and hobbies are also what could make you interesting to your love. You could end up doing something that makes your love look at you in a positive new light.\\nFor example, if you play tennis, then keep practicing to get better and better.\\nDevelop new interests. Some research suggests that the same areas of the brain that control your feelings of love control creativity. So put this extra creativity to good use and learn some new skills or talents.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rely on your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Not only can they help you keep a good perspective on the situation, they can also support you. They can remind you of how lovable you are, which makes talking to and spending time with your friends is a good way to be happy when you’re in a one-sided love.\\nTalk to them about your feelings and get their opinion on the situation.\\nTalk about things other than your love interest. Your friends want to hear about the rest of your amazing life, too.\\nTrust them to let you know if your feelings are getting out of hand.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Realize that you might be happier without this person.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If they love someone else, then don’t start problems with that person. It will only make your love mad at you, not love you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,814 | How to Be Happy in a Relationship | 1. Finding the Right Person
1-1. Get out of bad relationships immediately.
A large percentage of relationships are doomed from the start, and staying in a bad relationship only wastes time. If things begin falling apart too soon, it is best to end the relationship instead of sticking around in hopes that things will change. Common signs of bad relationships include:
Feeling the need to change to make the other person happy. "If you edit what you say before you say it and constantly monitor how you come across because you feel like your partner is grading you, it might be time to let the relationship go."
Defending your significant other to friends and family. According to author and psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman, "Not everyone is going to like your boyfriend or girlfriend as much as you do. But it should worry you if there's a general consensus among family and friends that your new love is entirely wrong for you."
Constant criticism from you partner
Wondering what your partner doing when he/she is away
Feeling worse about yourself since you began dating your partner
Your partner being dismissive of your feelings
1-2. Develop realistic relationship expectations.
Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on you and your partner such as:
Expecting your partner to know what you want or how you feel without telling him/her. Commonly, "...people want their partners to “mind read”, which can often take the form of, “I don’t want to have to tell her what I want. She should already know.”
Expecting your feelings to override those of your partner, i.e. expecting your partner to stop pursuing their interests simply because it causes you grief.
Getting angry at your partner for finding others attractive. "The part of our brains that finds other humans sexually and romantically appealing doesn’t die off when we commit to someone."
Convincing yourself that the relationship is doomed no matter what and that the two of you won't find happiness.
Believing that the road to happiness does not require a lot of work
1-3. See your partner for what they are, not their potential.
One of the biggest relationship pitfalls is assuming that your partner knows or should know how you feel. You may become frustrated if your partner forgets special occasions or does not react how you would expect him/her to during certain situations. Instead of placing high expectations on the other person for your happiness, appreciate who they are and be surprised when they are on the same page as you instead of expecting it.
According to blogger Melissa Dawn Lieberman: "You really can't assume that your spouse knows how you feel or what you want. You don't share the same feelings, worldview or thoughts. You might notice the dishes in the sink or remember that the kids haven't done their homework yet, but he might not. When in doubt, say it out loud."
1-4. Appreciate your partner, but do not spoil him/her.
When you love someone, it is easy to do anything in your power to make him/her stay, even if it means breaking your own principles. Do not lose yourself trying to make the other person happy. If something impresses you, let your partner know; If something angers you, address it in a constructive manner. Loving another should not undermine who you are.
1-5. Find someone with similar ideals.
Partners do not have to have an identical view of the world, but sharing opinions on important global topics can make for a better match. This holds especially true when dealing with gender issues such as feminism.
According to researchers at Rutgers University, "Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality, while men with feminist partners experience more sexual satisfaction and relationship stability."
2. Making the Relationship Last
2-1. Spend time together.
Spending time together will help form a strong bond between you and your partner, and should be used wisely. When spending time with your partner, engage in memorable, positive activities such as exercising, traveling, eating, camping, and so on rather than simply watching television.
"Psychology Today cites several studies that report that the symptoms of physiological arousal (the type of high you get from exercise) mimic the effects of sexual and romantic arousal."
2-2. Spend time apart.
Humans require a sense of autonomy and freedom, which can only be achieved if time is spent away from your partner. There will likely be interests that the two of you do not share. Pursue your interests independent of your partner, and allow him/her to do the same. Time apart will also allow you to miss one another and give perspective on how much you mean to one another.
Giving each other space is likely to bring some couples closer together.
2-3. Grow both together and separately.
Many single people don't feel the need to connect until they fall in love and want to spend every waking moment with the other person. Successful relationships are all about balance. "Live a life together, but also lead your separate lives. It’s that simple."
2-4. Communicate with honesty and logic.
Distrust and defensiveness are some of the biggest threats to a relationship, and can often be avoided. When disagreeing with your partner, actively listen instead of interrupting and try to see things from their perspective, whether or not you agree. In addition, accept that there things that you and your partner will never agree on. Instead of forcing the issue, respect the other person’s view while standing by your own.
2-5. Have sex as often as possible, preferably every day.
According to researchers at Dartmouth University and the University of Warwick in England, it’s not as much about the sex itself, but rather the frequency is an indicator for a better relationship. . In addition, sex has a number of mental and health benefits including:
Boosting the immune system
Improving libido
Lowering brood pressure
Lowering risk of heart disease
Acting as a natural pain killer
Reducing the risk of cancer
Improving sleep
2-6. Look your best and be open to physical change.
The gauge of a good relationship is loving one another when at your worst, but always strive to look your best. Not only will your partner appreciate the effort, but will likely be more aroused, considering this is the version of your that they fell in love with. In addition, as both of you change and age, it is important to understand that this is part of life and to still find beauty in the other despite their flaws.
2-7. Stay vigilant.
Relationships require an immense amount of work, and achieving long-term happiness involves practicing all of these steps on a . It is challenging to be the perfect person at all times, but relationship success hinges largely upon caring about the other person enough to try.
Tips
Have date nights. Sometimes the spark can fade out of a relationship, especially if you're in a long term relationship. Keep the romance alive by doing special things together and you'll both be happier.
Make plans for the future. This will make you feel confident and happy that your relationship is working well and you can both get excited together. Even if this is only a holiday, it is very rewarding to make plans together.
Do something special now and then. Hiding little presents, randomly texting a sweet message or organize cute surprise dates all make people happy.
Warnings
You don't always have to be right. Some people are very stubborn, they always think they are right and they refuse to back down which can cause arguments and these aren't fun for anybody. It's important to accept that sometimes you are wrong and learn that it isn't needed to work yourself up over things that aren't important. This helps you to ditch the silly conflicts and focus on the really important stuff. Let each other be right sometimes and you'll both be happier.
If you partner is cruel or abusive in any way, it's time to call it quits.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding the Right Person\\n1-1. Get out of bad relationships immediately.\\nA large percentage of relationships are doomed from the start, and staying in a bad relationship only wastes time. If things begin falling apart too soon, it is best to end the relationship instead of sticking around in hopes that things will change. Common signs of bad relationships include:\\nFeeling the need to change to make the other person happy. \\\"If you edit what you say before you say it and constantly monitor how you come across because you feel like your partner is grading you, it might be time to let the relationship go.\\\"\\nDefending your significant other to friends and family. According to author and psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman, \\\"Not everyone is going to like your boyfriend or girlfriend as much as you do. But it should worry you if there's a general consensus among family and friends that your new love is entirely wrong for you.\\\"\\nConstant criticism from you partner\\nWondering what your partner doing when he/she is away\\nFeeling worse about yourself since you began dating your partner\\nYour partner being dismissive of your feelings\\n1-2. Develop realistic relationship expectations.\\nAvoid placing unrealistic expectations on you and your partner such as:\\nExpecting your partner to know what you want or how you feel without telling him/her. Commonly, \\\"...people want their partners to “mind read”, which can often take the form of, “I don’t want to have to tell her what I want. She should already know.”\\nExpecting your feelings to override those of your partner, i.e. expecting your partner to stop pursuing their interests simply because it causes you grief.\\nGetting angry at your partner for finding others attractive. \\\"The part of our brains that finds other humans sexually and romantically appealing doesn’t die off when we commit to someone.\\\"\\nConvincing yourself that the relationship is doomed no matter what and that the two of you won't find happiness.\\nBelieving that the road to happiness does not require a lot of work\\n1-3. See your partner for what they are, not their potential.\\nOne of the biggest relationship pitfalls is assuming that your partner knows or should know how you feel. You may become frustrated if your partner forgets special occasions or does not react how you would expect him/her to during certain situations. Instead of placing high expectations on the other person for your happiness, appreciate who they are and be surprised when they are on the same page as you instead of expecting it.\\nAccording to blogger Melissa Dawn Lieberman: \\\"You really can't assume that your spouse knows how you feel or what you want. You don't share the same feelings, worldview or thoughts. You might notice the dishes in the sink or remember that the kids haven't done their homework yet, but he might not. When in doubt, say it out loud.\\\"\\n1-4. Appreciate your partner, but do not spoil him/her.\\nWhen you love someone, it is easy to do anything in your power to make him/her stay, even if it means breaking your own principles. Do not lose yourself trying to make the other person happy. If something impresses you, let your partner know; If something angers you, address it in a constructive manner. Loving another should not undermine who you are.\\n1-5. Find someone with similar ideals.\\nPartners do not have to have an identical view of the world, but sharing opinions on important global topics can make for a better match. This holds especially true when dealing with gender issues such as feminism.\\nAccording to researchers at Rutgers University, \\\"Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality, while men with feminist partners experience more sexual satisfaction and relationship stability.\\\"\\n2. Making the Relationship Last\\n2-1. Spend time together.\\nSpending time together will help form a strong bond between you and your partner, and should be used wisely. When spending time with your partner, engage in memorable, positive activities such as exercising, traveling, eating, camping, and so on rather than simply watching television.\\n\\\"Psychology Today cites several studies that report that the symptoms of physiological arousal (the type of high you get from exercise) mimic the effects of sexual and romantic arousal.\\\"\\n2-2. Spend time apart.\\nHumans require a sense of autonomy and freedom, which can only be achieved if time is spent away from your partner. There will likely be interests that the two of you do not share. Pursue your interests independent of your partner, and allow him/her to do the same. Time apart will also allow you to miss one another and give perspective on how much you mean to one another.\\nGiving each other space is likely to bring some couples closer together.\\n2-3. Grow both together and separately.\\nMany single people don't feel the need to connect until they fall in love and want to spend every waking moment with the other person. Successful relationships are all about balance. \\\"Live a life together, but also lead your separate lives. It’s that simple.\\\"\\n2-4. Communicate with honesty and logic.\\nDistrust and defensiveness are some of the biggest threats to a relationship, and can often be avoided. When disagreeing with your partner, actively listen instead of interrupting and try to see things from their perspective, whether or not you agree. In addition, accept that there things that you and your partner will never agree on. Instead of forcing the issue, respect the other person’s view while standing by your own.\\n2-5. Have sex as often as possible, preferably every day.\\nAccording to researchers at Dartmouth University and the University of Warwick in England, it’s not as much about the sex itself, but rather the frequency is an indicator for a better relationship. . In addition, sex has a number of mental and health benefits including:\\nBoosting the immune system\\nImproving libido\\nLowering brood pressure\\nLowering risk of heart disease\\nActing as a natural pain killer\\nReducing the risk of cancer\\nImproving sleep\\n2-6. Look your best and be open to physical change.\\nThe gauge of a good relationship is loving one another when at your worst, but always strive to look your best. Not only will your partner appreciate the effort, but will likely be more aroused, considering this is the version of your that they fell in love with. In addition, as both of you change and age, it is important to understand that this is part of life and to still find beauty in the other despite their flaws.\\n2-7. Stay vigilant.\\nRelationships require an immense amount of work, and achieving long-term happiness involves practicing all of these steps on a . It is challenging to be the perfect person at all times, but relationship success hinges largely upon caring about the other person enough to try.\\nTips\\nHave date nights. Sometimes the spark can fade out of a relationship, especially if you're in a long term relationship. Keep the romance alive by doing special things together and you'll both be happier.\\nMake plans for the future. This will make you feel confident and happy that your relationship is working well and you can both get excited together. Even if this is only a holiday, it is very rewarding to make plans together.\\nDo something special now and then. Hiding little presents, randomly texting a sweet message or organize cute surprise dates all make people happy.\\nWarnings\\nYou don't always have to be right. Some people are very stubborn, they always think they are right and they refuse to back down which can cause arguments and these aren't fun for anybody. It's important to accept that sometimes you are wrong and learn that it isn't needed to work yourself up over things that aren't important. This helps you to ditch the silly conflicts and focus on the really important stuff. Let each other be right sometimes and you'll both be happier.\\nIf you partner is cruel or abusive in any way, it's time to call it quits.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Relationships require a lot of work and dedication, and one would be hard pressed to find one that didn’t include arguments and misunderstandings. However, it is still possible to build long and happy relationships with patience and dedication, even if it may seem like the love has faded.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding the Right Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get out of bad relationships immediately.\", \"描述\": \"A large percentage of relationships are doomed from the start, and staying in a bad relationship only wastes time. If things begin falling apart too soon, it is best to end the relationship instead of sticking around in hopes that things will change. Common signs of bad relationships include:\\nFeeling the need to change to make the other person happy. \\\"If you edit what you say before you say it and constantly monitor how you come across because you feel like your partner is grading you, it might be time to let the relationship go.\\\"\\nDefending your significant other to friends and family. According to author and psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman, \\\"Not everyone is going to like your boyfriend or girlfriend as much as you do. But it should worry you if there's a general consensus among family and friends that your new love is entirely wrong for you.\\\"\\nConstant criticism from you partner\\nWondering what your partner doing when he/she is away\\nFeeling worse about yourself since you began dating your partner\\nYour partner being dismissive of your feelings\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop realistic relationship expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on you and your partner such as:\\nExpecting your partner to know what you want or how you feel without telling him/her. Commonly, \\\"...people want their partners to “mind read”, which can often take the form of, “I don’t want to have to tell her what I want. She should already know.”\\nExpecting your feelings to override those of your partner, i.e. expecting your partner to stop pursuing their interests simply because it causes you grief.\\nGetting angry at your partner for finding others attractive. \\\"The part of our brains that finds other humans sexually and romantically appealing doesn’t die off when we commit to someone.\\\"\\nConvincing yourself that the relationship is doomed no matter what and that the two of you won't find happiness.\\nBelieving that the road to happiness does not require a lot of work\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See your partner for what they are, not their potential.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest relationship pitfalls is assuming that your partner knows or should know how you feel. You may become frustrated if your partner forgets special occasions or does not react how you would expect him/her to during certain situations. Instead of placing high expectations on the other person for your happiness, appreciate who they are and be surprised when they are on the same page as you instead of expecting it.\\nAccording to blogger Melissa Dawn Lieberman: \\\"You really can't assume that your spouse knows how you feel or what you want. You don't share the same feelings, worldview or thoughts. You might notice the dishes in the sink or remember that the kids haven't done their homework yet, but he might not. When in doubt, say it out loud.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your partner, but do not spoil him/her.\", \"描述\": \"When you love someone, it is easy to do anything in your power to make him/her stay, even if it means breaking your own principles. Do not lose yourself trying to make the other person happy. If something impresses you, let your partner know; If something angers you, address it in a constructive manner. Loving another should not undermine who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find someone with similar ideals.\", \"描述\": \"Partners do not have to have an identical view of the world, but sharing opinions on important global topics can make for a better match. This holds especially true when dealing with gender issues such as feminism.\\nAccording to researchers at Rutgers University, \\\"Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality, while men with feminist partners experience more sexual satisfaction and relationship stability.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making the Relationship Last\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time together.\", \"描述\": \"Spending time together will help form a strong bond between you and your partner, and should be used wisely. When spending time with your partner, engage in memorable, positive activities such as exercising, traveling, eating, camping, and so on rather than simply watching television.\\n\\\"Psychology Today cites several studies that report that the symptoms of physiological arousal (the type of high you get from exercise) mimic the effects of sexual and romantic arousal.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time apart.\", \"描述\": \"Humans require a sense of autonomy and freedom, which can only be achieved if time is spent away from your partner. There will likely be interests that the two of you do not share. Pursue your interests independent of your partner, and allow him/her to do the same. Time apart will also allow you to miss one another and give perspective on how much you mean to one another.\\nGiving each other space is likely to bring some couples closer together.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Grow both together and separately.\", \"描述\": \"Many single people don't feel the need to connect until they fall in love and want to spend every waking moment with the other person. Successful relationships are all about balance. \\\"Live a life together, but also lead your separate lives. It’s that simple.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Communicate with honesty and logic.\", \"描述\": \"Distrust and defensiveness are some of the biggest threats to a relationship, and can often be avoided. When disagreeing with your partner, actively listen instead of interrupting and try to see things from their perspective, whether or not you agree. In addition, accept that there things that you and your partner will never agree on. Instead of forcing the issue, respect the other person’s view while standing by your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have sex as often as possible, preferably every day.\", \"描述\": \"According to researchers at Dartmouth University and the University of Warwick in England, it’s not as much about the sex itself, but rather the frequency is an indicator for a better relationship. . In addition, sex has a number of mental and health benefits including:\\nBoosting the immune system\\nImproving libido\\nLowering brood pressure\\nLowering risk of heart disease\\nActing as a natural pain killer\\nReducing the risk of cancer\\nImproving sleep\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look your best and be open to physical change.\", \"描述\": \"The gauge of a good relationship is loving one another when at your worst, but always strive to look your best. Not only will your partner appreciate the effort, but will likely be more aroused, considering this is the version of your that they fell in love with. In addition, as both of you change and age, it is important to understand that this is part of life and to still find beauty in the other despite their flaws.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay vigilant.\", \"描述\": \"Relationships require an immense amount of work, and achieving long-term happiness involves practicing all of these steps on a . It is challenging to be the perfect person at all times, but relationship success hinges largely upon caring about the other person enough to try.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Have date nights. Sometimes the spark can fade out of a relationship, especially if you're in a long term relationship. Keep the romance alive by doing special things together and you'll both be happier.\\n\", \"Make plans for the future. This will make you feel confident and happy that your relationship is working well and you can both get excited together. Even if this is only a holiday, it is very rewarding to make plans together.\\n\", \"Do something special now and then. Hiding little presents, randomly texting a sweet message or organize cute surprise dates all make people happy.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You don't always have to be right. Some people are very stubborn, they always think they are right and they refuse to back down which can cause arguments and these aren't fun for anybody. It's important to accept that sometimes you are wrong and learn that it isn't needed to work yourself up over things that aren't important. This helps you to ditch the silly conflicts and focus on the really important stuff. Let each other be right sometimes and you'll both be happier.\\n\", \"If you partner is cruel or abusive in any way, it's time to call it quits.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
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