id
int64 0
75.6k
| 问
stringlengths 3
120
| 答
stringlengths 63
120k
| 元数据
dict | 来源
stringclasses 1
value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
3,915 | How to Be Married in a Catholic Church | 1. Making Initial Contact
1-1. Get involved at your home church.
The Catholic church prefers a wedding be celebrated at one of the engaged person's own church. Your local priest or deacon will have to give the initial green light for your readiness for marriage; so you will want to make a good impression.
If you don’t live near the church you were baptized or confirmed in, start attending regular mass and sign up to be a member at a Catholic church you’d like to be married in.
Get approval from the pastor of the church you want to get married in, if it's different from your local church.
If you plan on being married in a region different from your local church, find which diocese that region is a part of.
The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has a zip code search tool to find your diocese.
1-2. Make an appointment for marriage preparation.
Getting married in a Catholic church takes time and it requires the right assessments and paperwork. After you decide to be married, contact the right people at your home church ASAP. At some parishes this is the priest, and at others this can be a designated layperson. During this initial appointment, you will go over the rules and procedures for your diocese.
Each party must be able to give full consent to marriage.
Each engaged person should not show signs of coercion.
Mental illness can prevent full consent.
The sacrament of marriage will be explained and should be understood.
1-3. Gather the correct documents.
You will have to show your priest a copy of your baptismal certificate that is less than six months old. Call the church you were baptized in to find out how to do this. You will need to give them your full name, date of birth and the names of your parents. Only one spouse has to be Catholic to be married in a Catholic church. However, your fiance should be a baptized Christian. If one of you is not baptized, you can still be married in a Catholic church, but it won't be sacramental.
If you are widowed, you will need to show evidence of death paperwork.
If you received an annulment of a previous marriage, you will need to show your priest this paperwork.
You can apply for a Declaration of Nullity, if you do not have an annulment from a previous marriage. This will be decided by a tribunal at your home parish.
2. Preparing for Marriage
2-1. Take a pre-marriage inventory.
This is an assessment given by your priest that helps determine the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. FOCCUS is a popular test, but each parish picks which inventory they use. It will give the priest an indication of the right counseling program for you and your spouse, because it will test in areas like communication, finances, interfaith marriages and sexuality.
2-2. File the right paperwork.
If you are a confirmed Catholic, but marrying a baptized person from another Christian religion, you will have to file a dispensation form. Other dispensation forms are for when a Catholic is marrying a non-baptized person.
You will have to get a “Permission to Enter into a Mixed Marriage Form” from your priest, if you’re marrying a baptized non-Catholic.
If you’re marrying someone not baptized, like an Atheist, Muslim or Jewish person, you will need your priest to approve a “Dispensation From Disparity of Cult Form.”
A wedding between a Catholic and someone not baptized can still be held in a Catholic church, but it won't be considered a sacrament until both parties are baptized.
2-3. Test your faith readiness for a Catholic marriage.
You and your spouse will be tested in front of your priest. He will base the individual assessment on written or verbal responses from both of you. Since marriage in the Catholic church is a sacrament, the priest must determine you have presence of faith in order to marry you.
2-4. Meet with your priest to reserve a wedding date and time.
Remember that many churches do not hold weddings on Sundays, since it conflicts with regular mass. Many do not hold wedding ceremonies during Lent either, since it is a time for penance and not celebration. Consult your priest before you set a definite date in order to prevent conflicts.
3. Going to the Altar
3-1. Start your marriage preparation program.
The Catholic Church requires couples go through preparation classes to confirm their commitment to each other and the church. Programs vary from parish to parish and different dioceses, but many include group interaction with other engaged couples. Some courses are weekend getaways, while some are held on scheduled evenings.
Specific programs are offered for things like remarriage, bringing children into a marriage and interfaith marriages.
Some of the issues covered are prayer, the meaning of marriage and sacramental roles.
Most classes are taught by an experienced married couple.
You will receive a certificate of completion to present to the marrying priest upon finishing the course.
3-2. Apply for financial help, if you need it.
The Catholic church stresses that financial issues should never be a hindrance, when a couple is ready for marriage. Wedding offerings are determined by each parish and can cover things like an organist or vocalist. Marriage preparation classes often include only material costs.
If you and your future spouse are experiencing financial hardship, you can come to an agreement with your local priest.
Ornate clothes and fresh flowers are considered extras by the Catholic Church and are not things they help with.
3-3. Take a Natural Family Planning (NFP) class.
This is a requirement for marriage in a Catholic Church and early registration is recommended by most dioceses. They like couples to learn the method several months before marriage. The class will go over biology and how to use ovulation cycles to plan for children.
3-4. Decide on prayers and music.
The Catholic church has different handbooks you can choose prayers and music from. "Together for Life" and the "Rite of Marriage" have bible verses and music appropriate for a Catholic wedding.
You can make a couple of different choices on how you respond to the priest during the ceremony.
You can choose from several different prayers the priest will use throughout the ceremony.
Music must be similar to what you hear during regular mass.
3-5. Go to confession before your wedding.
Some parishes require the sacrament of reconciliation before marriage, if both parties are Catholic. Others may not require confession, but they still strongly recommend it.
Tips
In some cases, the process detailing how to be married in a Catholic Church can change. A priest can decide to waive any of the requirements based on individual circumstances. For example, a couple of a mature age who are widowed may not need pre-marriage counseling.
If you and your fiancé(e) belong to different Catholic Churches, talk to BOTH priests about what to do.
Warnings
Don't forget to go to City Hall or Town hall to get your marriage license in the state you're marrying in!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:16",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Initial Contact\\n1-1. Get involved at your home church.\\nThe Catholic church prefers a wedding be celebrated at one of the engaged person's own church. Your local priest or deacon will have to give the initial green light for your readiness for marriage; so you will want to make a good impression.\\nIf you don’t live near the church you were baptized or confirmed in, start attending regular mass and sign up to be a member at a Catholic church you’d like to be married in.\\nGet approval from the pastor of the church you want to get married in, if it's different from your local church.\\nIf you plan on being married in a region different from your local church, find which diocese that region is a part of.\\nThe United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has a zip code search tool to find your diocese.\\n1-2. Make an appointment for marriage preparation.\\nGetting married in a Catholic church takes time and it requires the right assessments and paperwork. After you decide to be married, contact the right people at your home church ASAP. At some parishes this is the priest, and at others this can be a designated layperson. During this initial appointment, you will go over the rules and procedures for your diocese.\\nEach party must be able to give full consent to marriage.\\nEach engaged person should not show signs of coercion.\\nMental illness can prevent full consent.\\nThe sacrament of marriage will be explained and should be understood.\\n1-3. Gather the correct documents.\\nYou will have to show your priest a copy of your baptismal certificate that is less than six months old. Call the church you were baptized in to find out how to do this. You will need to give them your full name, date of birth and the names of your parents. Only one spouse has to be Catholic to be married in a Catholic church. However, your fiance should be a baptized Christian. If one of you is not baptized, you can still be married in a Catholic church, but it won't be sacramental.\\nIf you are widowed, you will need to show evidence of death paperwork.\\nIf you received an annulment of a previous marriage, you will need to show your priest this paperwork.\\nYou can apply for a Declaration of Nullity, if you do not have an annulment from a previous marriage. This will be decided by a tribunal at your home parish.\\n2. Preparing for Marriage\\n2-1. Take a pre-marriage inventory.\\nThis is an assessment given by your priest that helps determine the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. FOCCUS is a popular test, but each parish picks which inventory they use. It will give the priest an indication of the right counseling program for you and your spouse, because it will test in areas like communication, finances, interfaith marriages and sexuality.\\n2-2. File the right paperwork.\\nIf you are a confirmed Catholic, but marrying a baptized person from another Christian religion, you will have to file a dispensation form. Other dispensation forms are for when a Catholic is marrying a non-baptized person.\\nYou will have to get a “Permission to Enter into a Mixed Marriage Form” from your priest, if you’re marrying a baptized non-Catholic.\\nIf you’re marrying someone not baptized, like an Atheist, Muslim or Jewish person, you will need your priest to approve a “Dispensation From Disparity of Cult Form.”\\nA wedding between a Catholic and someone not baptized can still be held in a Catholic church, but it won't be considered a sacrament until both parties are baptized.\\n2-3. Test your faith readiness for a Catholic marriage.\\nYou and your spouse will be tested in front of your priest. He will base the individual assessment on written or verbal responses from both of you. Since marriage in the Catholic church is a sacrament, the priest must determine you have presence of faith in order to marry you.\\n2-4. Meet with your priest to reserve a wedding date and time.\\nRemember that many churches do not hold weddings on Sundays, since it conflicts with regular mass. Many do not hold wedding ceremonies during Lent either, since it is a time for penance and not celebration. Consult your priest before you set a definite date in order to prevent conflicts.\\n3. Going to the Altar\\n3-1. Start your marriage preparation program.\\nThe Catholic Church requires couples go through preparation classes to confirm their commitment to each other and the church. Programs vary from parish to parish and different dioceses, but many include group interaction with other engaged couples. Some courses are weekend getaways, while some are held on scheduled evenings.\\nSpecific programs are offered for things like remarriage, bringing children into a marriage and interfaith marriages.\\nSome of the issues covered are prayer, the meaning of marriage and sacramental roles.\\nMost classes are taught by an experienced married couple.\\nYou will receive a certificate of completion to present to the marrying priest upon finishing the course.\\n3-2. Apply for financial help, if you need it.\\nThe Catholic church stresses that financial issues should never be a hindrance, when a couple is ready for marriage. Wedding offerings are determined by each parish and can cover things like an organist or vocalist. Marriage preparation classes often include only material costs.\\nIf you and your future spouse are experiencing financial hardship, you can come to an agreement with your local priest.\\nOrnate clothes and fresh flowers are considered extras by the Catholic Church and are not things they help with.\\n3-3. Take a Natural Family Planning (NFP) class.\\nThis is a requirement for marriage in a Catholic Church and early registration is recommended by most dioceses. They like couples to learn the method several months before marriage. The class will go over biology and how to use ovulation cycles to plan for children.\\n3-4. Decide on prayers and music.\\nThe Catholic church has different handbooks you can choose prayers and music from. \\\"Together for Life\\\" and the \\\"Rite of Marriage\\\" have bible verses and music appropriate for a Catholic wedding.\\nYou can make a couple of different choices on how you respond to the priest during the ceremony.\\nYou can choose from several different prayers the priest will use throughout the ceremony.\\nMusic must be similar to what you hear during regular mass.\\n3-5. Go to confession before your wedding.\\nSome parishes require the sacrament of reconciliation before marriage, if both parties are Catholic. Others may not require confession, but they still strongly recommend it.\\nTips\\nIn some cases, the process detailing how to be married in a Catholic Church can change. A priest can decide to waive any of the requirements based on individual circumstances. For example, a couple of a mature age who are widowed may not need pre-marriage counseling.\\nIf you and your fiancé(e) belong to different Catholic Churches, talk to BOTH priests about what to do.\\nWarnings\\nDon't forget to go to City Hall or Town hall to get your marriage license in the state you're marrying in!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"For Catholics, marriage is more than a civil contract between a man and a woman. It is a sacramental commitment between you and the church, much like a baptism. The marrying priest's archdiocese dictates the requirements of how to be married in a Catholic church. The process can take 6 months to a year and it comes with some general guidelines. If you tell your priest the happy news, secure the correct documents and take required pre-marriage courses, you will be walking down the Catholic aisle before you know it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Initial Contact\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get involved at your home church.\", \"描述\": \"The Catholic church prefers a wedding be celebrated at one of the engaged person's own church. Your local priest or deacon will have to give the initial green light for your readiness for marriage; so you will want to make a good impression.\\nIf you don’t live near the church you were baptized or confirmed in, start attending regular mass and sign up to be a member at a Catholic church you’d like to be married in.\\nGet approval from the pastor of the church you want to get married in, if it's different from your local church.\\nIf you plan on being married in a region different from your local church, find which diocese that region is a part of.\\nThe United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has a zip code search tool to find your diocese.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make an appointment for marriage preparation.\", \"描述\": \"Getting married in a Catholic church takes time and it requires the right assessments and paperwork. After you decide to be married, contact the right people at your home church ASAP. At some parishes this is the priest, and at others this can be a designated layperson. During this initial appointment, you will go over the rules and procedures for your diocese.\\nEach party must be able to give full consent to marriage.\\nEach engaged person should not show signs of coercion.\\nMental illness can prevent full consent.\\nThe sacrament of marriage will be explained and should be understood.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gather the correct documents.\", \"描述\": \"You will have to show your priest a copy of your baptismal certificate that is less than six months old. Call the church you were baptized in to find out how to do this. You will need to give them your full name, date of birth and the names of your parents. Only one spouse has to be Catholic to be married in a Catholic church. However, your fiance should be a baptized Christian. If one of you is not baptized, you can still be married in a Catholic church, but it won't be sacramental.\\nIf you are widowed, you will need to show evidence of death paperwork.\\nIf you received an annulment of a previous marriage, you will need to show your priest this paperwork.\\nYou can apply for a Declaration of Nullity, if you do not have an annulment from a previous marriage. This will be decided by a tribunal at your home parish.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing for Marriage\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a pre-marriage inventory.\", \"描述\": \"This is an assessment given by your priest that helps determine the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. FOCCUS is a popular test, but each parish picks which inventory they use. It will give the priest an indication of the right counseling program for you and your spouse, because it will test in areas like communication, finances, interfaith marriages and sexuality.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"File the right paperwork.\", \"描述\": \"If you are a confirmed Catholic, but marrying a baptized person from another Christian religion, you will have to file a dispensation form. Other dispensation forms are for when a Catholic is marrying a non-baptized person.\\nYou will have to get a “Permission to Enter into a Mixed Marriage Form” from your priest, if you’re marrying a baptized non-Catholic.\\nIf you’re marrying someone not baptized, like an Atheist, Muslim or Jewish person, you will need your priest to approve a “Dispensation From Disparity of Cult Form.”\\nA wedding between a Catholic and someone not baptized can still be held in a Catholic church, but it won't be considered a sacrament until both parties are baptized.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Test your faith readiness for a Catholic marriage.\", \"描述\": \"You and your spouse will be tested in front of your priest. He will base the individual assessment on written or verbal responses from both of you. Since marriage in the Catholic church is a sacrament, the priest must determine you have presence of faith in order to marry you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Meet with your priest to reserve a wedding date and time.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that many churches do not hold weddings on Sundays, since it conflicts with regular mass. Many do not hold wedding ceremonies during Lent either, since it is a time for penance and not celebration. Consult your priest before you set a definite date in order to prevent conflicts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going to the Altar\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start your marriage preparation program.\", \"描述\": \"The Catholic Church requires couples go through preparation classes to confirm their commitment to each other and the church. Programs vary from parish to parish and different dioceses, but many include group interaction with other engaged couples. Some courses are weekend getaways, while some are held on scheduled evenings.\\nSpecific programs are offered for things like remarriage, bringing children into a marriage and interfaith marriages.\\nSome of the issues covered are prayer, the meaning of marriage and sacramental roles.\\nMost classes are taught by an experienced married couple.\\nYou will receive a certificate of completion to present to the marrying priest upon finishing the course.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apply for financial help, if you need it.\", \"描述\": \"The Catholic church stresses that financial issues should never be a hindrance, when a couple is ready for marriage. Wedding offerings are determined by each parish and can cover things like an organist or vocalist. Marriage preparation classes often include only material costs.\\nIf you and your future spouse are experiencing financial hardship, you can come to an agreement with your local priest.\\nOrnate clothes and fresh flowers are considered extras by the Catholic Church and are not things they help with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a Natural Family Planning (NFP) class.\", \"描述\": \"This is a requirement for marriage in a Catholic Church and early registration is recommended by most dioceses. They like couples to learn the method several months before marriage. The class will go over biology and how to use ovulation cycles to plan for children.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide on prayers and music.\", \"描述\": \"The Catholic church has different handbooks you can choose prayers and music from. \\\"Together for Life\\\" and the \\\"Rite of Marriage\\\" have bible verses and music appropriate for a Catholic wedding.\\nYou can make a couple of different choices on how you respond to the priest during the ceremony.\\nYou can choose from several different prayers the priest will use throughout the ceremony.\\nMusic must be similar to what you hear during regular mass.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to confession before your wedding.\", \"描述\": \"Some parishes require the sacrament of reconciliation before marriage, if both parties are Catholic. Others may not require confession, but they still strongly recommend it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"In some cases, the process detailing how to be married in a Catholic Church can change. A priest can decide to waive any of the requirements based on individual circumstances. For example, a couple of a mature age who are widowed may not need pre-marriage counseling.\\n\", \"If you and your fiancé(e) belong to different Catholic Churches, talk to BOTH priests about what to do.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't forget to go to City Hall or Town hall to get your marriage license in the state you're marrying in!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,916 | How to Be Masculine | 1. Being Masculine
1-1. Groom yourself
Whatever the reason, it is critical that everyone develops and maintains healthy hygiene habits for the sake of their physical and mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Make it a point to groom yourself and look nice on a daily basis. Take a shower every day (or at least every other day), shave (optional), comb your hair, and practice good dental hygiene by flossing or brushing your teeth daily.
1-2. Be assertive without being arrogant.
People who are assertive are frequently perceived as rude or controlling. The trick is to figure out how to advocate for yourself without making others feel obligated to do the same. You can master this skill with a little knowledge and practice. Knowing how to do this is especially important if you want to assert yourself in situations where you were previously passive.
Improve your listening abilities.
Know how to communicate. Being assertive necessitates excellent communication skills.
1-3. Be courageous.
Courage refers to the quality of being ready and willing to face potentially dangerous or painful situations. Make use of positive self-talk. Accept that failure is a possibility. Make bravery a habit. When faced with adversity, the word courageous can be used to describe courageous people or their actions.
1-4. Project confidence.
Be confident and happy with who you are. Part of being masculine is being confident and encouraging others to be confident. A confident person, overall, happy with the way they are. This isn't to say they can't improve and get better, but they aren't insecure about it and aren't ashamed of themselves. People who are self-assured do not avoid certain situations simply because they are afraid of being judged.
1-5. Be considerate
Being considerate entails being courteous and caring. People appreciate it when you consider their feelings. Being considerate of others and their feelings is what consideration entails. You think about how your actions will affect them. You pay close attention to what others like and dislike, and you do things that make them happy.
Encourage others and give compliments to others.
Remember the golden rule—treat others how you want to be treated. There's also the platinum rule, treating them how they'd like to be treated, which is also useful at times.
Volunteering is a great way to be kind and give less fortunate people opportunities.
1-6. Avoid being toxic.
Toxic masculinity refers to cultural pressures on men to act in certain ways. Toxic masculinity is the idea that some people's definition of "manliness" perpetuates domination, homophobia, and aggression. There is a way to be masculine without being toxic.
Don’t start (physical) fights or purposely hurt others.
Avoid intense displays of anger. These can intimidate and frighten other people, especially abuse survivors and some women. When you're mad, keep your voice low, and take a break instead of yelling or lashing out.
Don’t use your power to dominate others (especially if you’re a man). Instead, use it to be fair and helpful.
Don't put down women, LGBTQ+ people, or minorities. A healthy masculine person lifts others up instead of bringing them down.
Appreciate your achievements and possessions without bragging. Don't rub them in other people's faces.
Don't feel like you have to appear 100% masculine 100% of the time. It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes, drink a "girly" drink, appreciate ballet, or do other things that aren't stereotypically masculine. In fact, this can show that you're secure in your masculinity.
1-7. Consider taking up a few masculine hobbies, but don’t let them limit you.
A few masculine hobbies include boxing, grilling, or learning something new (an instrument, foreign language). In general, you should do what you enjoy and be proud of it. Don't fall for the myth that you can't have feminine hobbies or not enjoy ‘manly’ hobbies if you want to be masculine. Being happy with what you do and doing what you enjoy is true masculinity.
If you truly enjoy something, try to immerse yourself in it. When a masculine person discovers something that piques their interest, they tend to learn everything there is to know, practice for hours every day, and money on it. It could be anything. Sports, DIY, arts, cooking.
2. Acting Masculine
2-1. Have good posture
Good posture is one of the most obvious signs of a confident person. People with poor posture are frequently insecure, feeling beaten down, or sad. Take note of how you handle your posture when you're in a bad mood versus when you're in a good mood. When you're feeling good, you probably stand up straighter, head up, shoulders back. When you are confident, your posture will most likely improve, and others will notice.
2-2. Take up space.
A masculine person is not afraid to take up space. This is particularly true in social settings. When they sit, they will use the armrests and are not afraid to take up the necessary space. Not excessively so, but enough to meet their needs. Sit with your legs uncrossed, keep your hands out of your pockets at all times, and use your hands while speaking.
Of course, if it's crowded, politely make room for others. For example, if you're on a crowded bus or subway, put your legs together or stand so that people have enough room to sit.
2-3. Make eye contact.
One of the most important aspects of confident body language is eye contact. People who are self-assured do not avoid eye contact. Looking away quickly indicates that you are afraid of confrontation and are nervous. Keeping eye contact for too long, on the other hand, may give the impression that you're a creep or "intense." It's a difficult balance to achieve. Here are tips to make eye contact properly:
If you can't look someone in the eyes, choose another part of their face to focus on. Eyebrows and noses are close to the eyes and most people can't tell the difference.
Mirror your partner’s eye contact. If they look away, you are free to do the same. However, don't do it right away or it will look like you’re copying them.
2-4. Speak up when up you need to.
Masculine individuals are not afraid to be heard, seen, noticed, and are not afraid to be quiet for any reason. What they do or do not do is not determined by others. It all depends on what they want to do or believe is best. Speak up when something isn't right or when something needs to be said, but don't be rude or intentionally hurtful.
Speaking up when you or someone else is being hurt or in need of assistance is not feminine; it demonstrates that you are self-assured enough to help others and speak up when necessary.
If you don't have anything useful to say or lack the knowledge to offer an opinion, simply remain silent and listen. Don't embarrass yourself by spouting uninformed nonsense. When directly asked, you can simply state, "I don't know enough about this to have an opinion.“
2-5. Don't let your emotions get the best of you on a regular basis.
Masculine people will get stressed from time to time, but they rarely express it in harmful ways. Instead, process your feelings in constructive ways. For example, instead of raising your voice when you get angry, excuse yourself and take a short walk. Feel your feelings while staying rational, polite, and controlled.
Dealing with your feelings in a masculine matter doesn't mean that you have to bottle it up or never cry. This attitude typically makes them worse, not better, and can lead to mental health problems. Instead, find healthy outlets and try to stay rational when you're making decisions.
When your emotions get rough, try exercise, meditation, journaling, art, taking a walk, or confiding in someone you trust.
If you slip up and act out of line, it's not the end of the world. Apologize to anyone you upset, acknowledge your mistake, and try to do better next time. You're only human, so you won't be perfect.
2-6. Use confident and attentive body language.
Work on using open body language to signal that you're approachable and calm in general. One sign of healthy masculinity is feeling and looking secure in who you are.
Stand up straight, face the person you're talking to, and listen attentively.
Cut back on fidgeting unless you really need it. (For example, some neurodivergent people need to stim to self-regulate and stay engaged.)
Of course, you don't have to fake it if you're having a rough time. It's okay to be vulnerable and let your guard down from time to time, especially around people you trust. Part of being secure in your masculinity is being willing to drop a facade when you need to, trusting that you are still masculine.
2-7. Don’t be afraid to say no.
Part of being self-assured is knowing how to value yourself. When you value yourself, you don't let others mess with you or tell you what to do. Saying no is a form of self-esteem. Sure, you may have to do things you don't want to do at times, but you must be able to make that decision for yourself.
Don’t let people mess with you. When/If they do, stand your ground.
3. Dressing Masculine
3-1. Wear clothing that is slightly baggy.
Wearing clothes that are slightly larger than your body can assist you in achieving a masculine appearance. Instead of wearing clothing that is too tight and exposes your shape, try on something that is a little looser but still looks good on you. This is especially useful if you have a feminine figure or want to conceal your curves. Often a sports bra or binder can also be used to help with this.
3-2. Choose the right accessories.
Proper accessories can really elevate an outfit. Masculine accessories include:
Baseball caps
Stud earrings
Watches
Belts
Cross body bags
Beanies
3-3. Dress in layers.
Layers can be jackets, hoodies, shirts, sweaters, and more. Learn about different types of layers in clothing:
Hoodies: Hoodies can conceal the shape of your body, curves, and chest, which is why many people prefer them. When paired with structured pieces, they're surprisingly versatile. They are also comfortable and can provide warmth in cold environments and during the winter.
Flannels: While flannels aren't technically layers, an oversized flannel can be worn with a shirt underneath. These can be worn during autumn and warmer seasons, and come in a variety of plaid patterns.
Sweatshirts: This is a stylish, casual alternative to baggy hoodies, which can sometimes look sloppy (depending on how baggy they are).
Crewnecks: Crewnecks can be worn with a lot of different bottoms. Most are designed to fit snugly around your chest, with sleeves that are looser and more relaxed. Keep in mind that crewnecks can put more emphasis on your hips, so if you're trying to pass as a trans guy, remember that.
3-4. Wear the right shirts.
Shirts make half of an outfit. These are different types of shirts:
Dress shirts: a dress shirt, also known as a button shirt, is a garment with a collar and a full-length front opening that is fastened with buttons or shirt studs. Dress shirts are longer in length because they are intended to be tucked into pants. Dress shirts are appropriate for formal occasions and dances.
Oxford button down shirts: This crisp classic is the epitome of versatility. A breezy button-down like this is perfect for everyday denim, but it can also be dressed up with a tailored vest and tie.
T-shirts: They are comfy, come in a variety of prints and styles, and anyone can wear them. Look for unisex shirts if you have a feminine body but want to achieve a masculine style.
3-5. Find the right bottoms.
Pants are especially important because they act as a foundation, or anchor, for the rest of your outfit. Pants will be mostly in the background of an outfit, acting as a foundation for your shirt or outerwear in the foreground:
Baggy pants: A good pair of slightly baggy pants can instantly make you appear more masculine. They are the ideal complement to any masculine wardrobe. Oversized and loose-fitting pants conceal your shape and can be worn by all genders.
Loose fitting jeans: It's a good idea to invest in classic pieces, such as loose fit jeans, that can be worn with anything, especially t-shirts.
Chinos/Khakis: Chino and khakis are typically light, cotton-blend pants that come in a variety of colors. These are lighter and more breathable than jeans and denim, which aren't.
(Knee) shorts: Shorts are short-length trousers or pants that cover the upper part of the leg but do not cover the entire leg. Shorter people can also opt for shorts that hit 2 or 3 inches above the knee to give the illusion of longer legs.
3-6. Wear the right shoes.
A good pair of shoes not only enhances your fashion appeal, but also assists you in creating the perfect look and satisfying your desire for fashion accessories. Among the various pairs of shoes are:
Sneakers: Sneakers are shoes that were originally designed for sports or other forms of physical activity, but are now widely used for everyday casual wear.
Slip on shoes: Slip-ons are typically low-heeled, lace-free shoes worn on casual occasions.
Converse/vans: These classic, gender-neutral shoes come in a variety of styles.
Loafers: Loafers are shoes that have no lacing or fastening system and are simply slipped on the foot, and typically go with suits.
3-7. Don't wear makeup (optional).
If you're trying to look masculine, you might now want avoid makeup, as it can make your face look more feminine. However, if you're trying to pass as a guy, makeup applied in the right way can make you look more masculine.
You might also want to wear makeup for other reasons, so don't feel limited to makeup.
Tips
If you're binding your chest, darker colored shirts can also help your binder look less noticeable.
Warnings
Don't let masculinity limit you. You don't have to fit all the stereotypes all the time. Being yourself keeps you balanced and emotionally healthy.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:16",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Masculine\\n1-1. Groom yourself\\nWhatever the reason, it is critical that everyone develops and maintains healthy hygiene habits for the sake of their physical and mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Make it a point to groom yourself and look nice on a daily basis. Take a shower every day (or at least every other day), shave (optional), comb your hair, and practice good dental hygiene by flossing or brushing your teeth daily.\\n1-2. Be assertive without being arrogant.\\nPeople who are assertive are frequently perceived as rude or controlling. The trick is to figure out how to advocate for yourself without making others feel obligated to do the same. You can master this skill with a little knowledge and practice. Knowing how to do this is especially important if you want to assert yourself in situations where you were previously passive.\\nImprove your listening abilities.\\nKnow how to communicate. Being assertive necessitates excellent communication skills.\\n1-3. Be courageous.\\nCourage refers to the quality of being ready and willing to face potentially dangerous or painful situations. Make use of positive self-talk. Accept that failure is a possibility. Make bravery a habit. When faced with adversity, the word courageous can be used to describe courageous people or their actions.\\n1-4. Project confidence.\\nBe confident and happy with who you are. Part of being masculine is being confident and encouraging others to be confident. A confident person, overall, happy with the way they are. This isn't to say they can't improve and get better, but they aren't insecure about it and aren't ashamed of themselves. People who are self-assured do not avoid certain situations simply because they are afraid of being judged.\\n1-5. Be considerate\\nBeing considerate entails being courteous and caring. People appreciate it when you consider their feelings. Being considerate of others and their feelings is what consideration entails. You think about how your actions will affect them. You pay close attention to what others like and dislike, and you do things that make them happy.\\nEncourage others and give compliments to others.\\nRemember the golden rule—treat others how you want to be treated. There's also the platinum rule, treating them how they'd like to be treated, which is also useful at times.\\nVolunteering is a great way to be kind and give less fortunate people opportunities.\\n1-6. Avoid being toxic.\\nToxic masculinity refers to cultural pressures on men to act in certain ways. Toxic masculinity is the idea that some people's definition of \\\"manliness\\\" perpetuates domination, homophobia, and aggression. There is a way to be masculine without being toxic.\\nDon’t start (physical) fights or purposely hurt others.\\nAvoid intense displays of anger. These can intimidate and frighten other people, especially abuse survivors and some women. When you're mad, keep your voice low, and take a break instead of yelling or lashing out.\\nDon’t use your power to dominate others (especially if you’re a man). Instead, use it to be fair and helpful.\\nDon't put down women, LGBTQ+ people, or minorities. A healthy masculine person lifts others up instead of bringing them down.\\nAppreciate your achievements and possessions without bragging. Don't rub them in other people's faces.\\nDon't feel like you have to appear 100% masculine 100% of the time. It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes, drink a \\\"girly\\\" drink, appreciate ballet, or do other things that aren't stereotypically masculine. In fact, this can show that you're secure in your masculinity.\\n1-7. Consider taking up a few masculine hobbies, but don’t let them limit you.\\nA few masculine hobbies include boxing, grilling, or learning something new (an instrument, foreign language). In general, you should do what you enjoy and be proud of it. Don't fall for the myth that you can't have feminine hobbies or not enjoy ‘manly’ hobbies if you want to be masculine. Being happy with what you do and doing what you enjoy is true masculinity.\\nIf you truly enjoy something, try to immerse yourself in it. When a masculine person discovers something that piques their interest, they tend to learn everything there is to know, practice for hours every day, and money on it. It could be anything. Sports, DIY, arts, cooking.\\n2. Acting Masculine\\n2-1. Have good posture\\nGood posture is one of the most obvious signs of a confident person. People with poor posture are frequently insecure, feeling beaten down, or sad. Take note of how you handle your posture when you're in a bad mood versus when you're in a good mood. When you're feeling good, you probably stand up straighter, head up, shoulders back. When you are confident, your posture will most likely improve, and others will notice.\\n2-2. Take up space.\\nA masculine person is not afraid to take up space. This is particularly true in social settings. When they sit, they will use the armrests and are not afraid to take up the necessary space. Not excessively so, but enough to meet their needs. Sit with your legs uncrossed, keep your hands out of your pockets at all times, and use your hands while speaking. \\nOf course, if it's crowded, politely make room for others. For example, if you're on a crowded bus or subway, put your legs together or stand so that people have enough room to sit.\\n2-3. Make eye contact.\\nOne of the most important aspects of confident body language is eye contact. People who are self-assured do not avoid eye contact. Looking away quickly indicates that you are afraid of confrontation and are nervous. Keeping eye contact for too long, on the other hand, may give the impression that you're a creep or \\\"intense.\\\" It's a difficult balance to achieve. Here are tips to make eye contact properly: \\nIf you can't look someone in the eyes, choose another part of their face to focus on. Eyebrows and noses are close to the eyes and most people can't tell the difference.\\nMirror your partner’s eye contact. If they look away, you are free to do the same. However, don't do it right away or it will look like you’re copying them.\\n2-4. Speak up when up you need to.\\nMasculine individuals are not afraid to be heard, seen, noticed, and are not afraid to be quiet for any reason. What they do or do not do is not determined by others. It all depends on what they want to do or believe is best. Speak up when something isn't right or when something needs to be said, but don't be rude or intentionally hurtful. \\nSpeaking up when you or someone else is being hurt or in need of assistance is not feminine; it demonstrates that you are self-assured enough to help others and speak up when necessary.\\nIf you don't have anything useful to say or lack the knowledge to offer an opinion, simply remain silent and listen. Don't embarrass yourself by spouting uninformed nonsense. When directly asked, you can simply state, \\\"I don't know enough about this to have an opinion.“\\n2-5. Don't let your emotions get the best of you on a regular basis.\\nMasculine people will get stressed from time to time, but they rarely express it in harmful ways. Instead, process your feelings in constructive ways. For example, instead of raising your voice when you get angry, excuse yourself and take a short walk. Feel your feelings while staying rational, polite, and controlled. \\nDealing with your feelings in a masculine matter doesn't mean that you have to bottle it up or never cry. This attitude typically makes them worse, not better, and can lead to mental health problems. Instead, find healthy outlets and try to stay rational when you're making decisions.\\nWhen your emotions get rough, try exercise, meditation, journaling, art, taking a walk, or confiding in someone you trust.\\nIf you slip up and act out of line, it's not the end of the world. Apologize to anyone you upset, acknowledge your mistake, and try to do better next time. You're only human, so you won't be perfect.\\n2-6. Use confident and attentive body language.\\nWork on using open body language to signal that you're approachable and calm in general. One sign of healthy masculinity is feeling and looking secure in who you are. \\nStand up straight, face the person you're talking to, and listen attentively.\\nCut back on fidgeting unless you really need it. (For example, some neurodivergent people need to stim to self-regulate and stay engaged.)\\nOf course, you don't have to fake it if you're having a rough time. It's okay to be vulnerable and let your guard down from time to time, especially around people you trust. Part of being secure in your masculinity is being willing to drop a facade when you need to, trusting that you are still masculine.\\n2-7. Don’t be afraid to say no.\\nPart of being self-assured is knowing how to value yourself. When you value yourself, you don't let others mess with you or tell you what to do. Saying no is a form of self-esteem. Sure, you may have to do things you don't want to do at times, but you must be able to make that decision for yourself. \\nDon’t let people mess with you. When/If they do, stand your ground.\\n3. Dressing Masculine\\n3-1. Wear clothing that is slightly baggy.\\nWearing clothes that are slightly larger than your body can assist you in achieving a masculine appearance. Instead of wearing clothing that is too tight and exposes your shape, try on something that is a little looser but still looks good on you. This is especially useful if you have a feminine figure or want to conceal your curves. Often a sports bra or binder can also be used to help with this.\\n3-2. Choose the right accessories.\\nProper accessories can really elevate an outfit. Masculine accessories include:\\nBaseball caps\\nStud earrings\\nWatches\\nBelts\\nCross body bags\\nBeanies\\n3-3. Dress in layers.\\nLayers can be jackets, hoodies, shirts, sweaters, and more. Learn about different types of layers in clothing:\\nHoodies: Hoodies can conceal the shape of your body, curves, and chest, which is why many people prefer them. When paired with structured pieces, they're surprisingly versatile. They are also comfortable and can provide warmth in cold environments and during the winter.\\nFlannels: While flannels aren't technically layers, an oversized flannel can be worn with a shirt underneath. These can be worn during autumn and warmer seasons, and come in a variety of plaid patterns.\\nSweatshirts: This is a stylish, casual alternative to baggy hoodies, which can sometimes look sloppy (depending on how baggy they are).\\nCrewnecks: Crewnecks can be worn with a lot of different bottoms. Most are designed to fit snugly around your chest, with sleeves that are looser and more relaxed. Keep in mind that crewnecks can put more emphasis on your hips, so if you're trying to pass as a trans guy, remember that.\\n3-4. Wear the right shirts.\\nShirts make half of an outfit. These are different types of shirts:\\nDress shirts: a dress shirt, also known as a button shirt, is a garment with a collar and a full-length front opening that is fastened with buttons or shirt studs. Dress shirts are longer in length because they are intended to be tucked into pants. Dress shirts are appropriate for formal occasions and dances.\\nOxford button down shirts: This crisp classic is the epitome of versatility. A breezy button-down like this is perfect for everyday denim, but it can also be dressed up with a tailored vest and tie.\\nT-shirts: They are comfy, come in a variety of prints and styles, and anyone can wear them. Look for unisex shirts if you have a feminine body but want to achieve a masculine style.\\n3-5. Find the right bottoms.\\nPants are especially important because they act as a foundation, or anchor, for the rest of your outfit. Pants will be mostly in the background of an outfit, acting as a foundation for your shirt or outerwear in the foreground:\\nBaggy pants: A good pair of slightly baggy pants can instantly make you appear more masculine. They are the ideal complement to any masculine wardrobe. Oversized and loose-fitting pants conceal your shape and can be worn by all genders.\\nLoose fitting jeans: It's a good idea to invest in classic pieces, such as loose fit jeans, that can be worn with anything, especially t-shirts.\\nChinos/Khakis: Chino and khakis are typically light, cotton-blend pants that come in a variety of colors. These are lighter and more breathable than jeans and denim, which aren't.\\n(Knee) shorts: Shorts are short-length trousers or pants that cover the upper part of the leg but do not cover the entire leg. Shorter people can also opt for shorts that hit 2 or 3 inches above the knee to give the illusion of longer legs.\\n3-6. Wear the right shoes.\\nA good pair of shoes not only enhances your fashion appeal, but also assists you in creating the perfect look and satisfying your desire for fashion accessories. Among the various pairs of shoes are:\\nSneakers: Sneakers are shoes that were originally designed for sports or other forms of physical activity, but are now widely used for everyday casual wear.\\nSlip on shoes: Slip-ons are typically low-heeled, lace-free shoes worn on casual occasions.\\nConverse/vans: These classic, gender-neutral shoes come in a variety of styles.\\nLoafers: Loafers are shoes that have no lacing or fastening system and are simply slipped on the foot, and typically go with suits.\\n3-7. Don't wear makeup (optional).\\nIf you're trying to look masculine, you might now want avoid makeup, as it can make your face look more feminine. However, if you're trying to pass as a guy, makeup applied in the right way can make you look more masculine.\\nYou might also want to wear makeup for other reasons, so don't feel limited to makeup.\\nTips\\nIf you're binding your chest, darker colored shirts can also help your binder look less noticeable.\\nWarnings\\nDon't let masculinity limit you. You don't have to fit all the stereotypes all the time. Being yourself keeps you balanced and emotionally healthy.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Masculinity refers to the characteristics, behaviors, and roles associated with men and boys. You could be transgender or nonbinary and attempting to be more masculine, or be a woman and have masculine traits. Anyone, regardless of gender, can be masculine, and this article will teach you how to.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Masculine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Groom yourself\", \"描述\": \"Whatever the reason, it is critical that everyone develops and maintains healthy hygiene habits for the sake of their physical and mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Make it a point to groom yourself and look nice on a daily basis. Take a shower every day (or at least every other day), shave (optional), comb your hair, and practice good dental hygiene by flossing or brushing your teeth daily.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be assertive without being arrogant.\", \"描述\": \"People who are assertive are frequently perceived as rude or controlling. The trick is to figure out how to advocate for yourself without making others feel obligated to do the same. You can master this skill with a little knowledge and practice. Knowing how to do this is especially important if you want to assert yourself in situations where you were previously passive.\\nImprove your listening abilities.\\nKnow how to communicate. Being assertive necessitates excellent communication skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be courageous.\", \"描述\": \"Courage refers to the quality of being ready and willing to face potentially dangerous or painful situations. Make use of positive self-talk. Accept that failure is a possibility. Make bravery a habit. When faced with adversity, the word courageous can be used to describe courageous people or their actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Project confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Be confident and happy with who you are. Part of being masculine is being confident and encouraging others to be confident. A confident person, overall, happy with the way they are. This isn't to say they can't improve and get better, but they aren't insecure about it and aren't ashamed of themselves. People who are self-assured do not avoid certain situations simply because they are afraid of being judged.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be considerate\", \"描述\": \"Being considerate entails being courteous and caring. People appreciate it when you consider their feelings. Being considerate of others and their feelings is what consideration entails. You think about how your actions will affect them. You pay close attention to what others like and dislike, and you do things that make them happy.\\nEncourage others and give compliments to others.\\nRemember the golden rule—treat others how you want to be treated. There's also the platinum rule, treating them how they'd like to be treated, which is also useful at times.\\nVolunteering is a great way to be kind and give less fortunate people opportunities.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid being toxic.\", \"描述\": \"Toxic masculinity refers to cultural pressures on men to act in certain ways. Toxic masculinity is the idea that some people's definition of \\\"manliness\\\" perpetuates domination, homophobia, and aggression. There is a way to be masculine without being toxic.\\nDon’t start (physical) fights or purposely hurt others.\\nAvoid intense displays of anger. These can intimidate and frighten other people, especially abuse survivors and some women. When you're mad, keep your voice low, and take a break instead of yelling or lashing out.\\nDon’t use your power to dominate others (especially if you’re a man). Instead, use it to be fair and helpful.\\nDon't put down women, LGBTQ+ people, or minorities. A healthy masculine person lifts others up instead of bringing them down.\\nAppreciate your achievements and possessions without bragging. Don't rub them in other people's faces.\\nDon't feel like you have to appear 100% masculine 100% of the time. It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes, drink a \\\"girly\\\" drink, appreciate ballet, or do other things that aren't stereotypically masculine. In fact, this can show that you're secure in your masculinity.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Consider taking up a few masculine hobbies, but don’t let them limit you.\", \"描述\": \"A few masculine hobbies include boxing, grilling, or learning something new (an instrument, foreign language). In general, you should do what you enjoy and be proud of it. Don't fall for the myth that you can't have feminine hobbies or not enjoy ‘manly’ hobbies if you want to be masculine. Being happy with what you do and doing what you enjoy is true masculinity.\\nIf you truly enjoy something, try to immerse yourself in it. When a masculine person discovers something that piques their interest, they tend to learn everything there is to know, practice for hours every day, and money on it. It could be anything. Sports, DIY, arts, cooking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Masculine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have good posture\", \"描述\": \"Good posture is one of the most obvious signs of a confident person. People with poor posture are frequently insecure, feeling beaten down, or sad. Take note of how you handle your posture when you're in a bad mood versus when you're in a good mood. When you're feeling good, you probably stand up straighter, head up, shoulders back. When you are confident, your posture will most likely improve, and others will notice.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take up space.\", \"描述\": \"A masculine person is not afraid to take up space. This is particularly true in social settings. When they sit, they will use the armrests and are not afraid to take up the necessary space. Not excessively so, but enough to meet their needs. Sit with your legs uncrossed, keep your hands out of your pockets at all times, and use your hands while speaking. \\nOf course, if it's crowded, politely make room for others. For example, if you're on a crowded bus or subway, put your legs together or stand so that people have enough room to sit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important aspects of confident body language is eye contact. People who are self-assured do not avoid eye contact. Looking away quickly indicates that you are afraid of confrontation and are nervous. Keeping eye contact for too long, on the other hand, may give the impression that you're a creep or \\\"intense.\\\" It's a difficult balance to achieve. Here are tips to make eye contact properly: \\nIf you can't look someone in the eyes, choose another part of their face to focus on. Eyebrows and noses are close to the eyes and most people can't tell the difference.\\nMirror your partner’s eye contact. If they look away, you are free to do the same. However, don't do it right away or it will look like you’re copying them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak up when up you need to.\", \"描述\": \"Masculine individuals are not afraid to be heard, seen, noticed, and are not afraid to be quiet for any reason. What they do or do not do is not determined by others. It all depends on what they want to do or believe is best. Speak up when something isn't right or when something needs to be said, but don't be rude or intentionally hurtful. \\nSpeaking up when you or someone else is being hurt or in need of assistance is not feminine; it demonstrates that you are self-assured enough to help others and speak up when necessary.\\nIf you don't have anything useful to say or lack the knowledge to offer an opinion, simply remain silent and listen. Don't embarrass yourself by spouting uninformed nonsense. When directly asked, you can simply state, \\\"I don't know enough about this to have an opinion.“\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't let your emotions get the best of you on a regular basis.\", \"描述\": \"Masculine people will get stressed from time to time, but they rarely express it in harmful ways. Instead, process your feelings in constructive ways. For example, instead of raising your voice when you get angry, excuse yourself and take a short walk. Feel your feelings while staying rational, polite, and controlled. \\nDealing with your feelings in a masculine matter doesn't mean that you have to bottle it up or never cry. This attitude typically makes them worse, not better, and can lead to mental health problems. Instead, find healthy outlets and try to stay rational when you're making decisions.\\nWhen your emotions get rough, try exercise, meditation, journaling, art, taking a walk, or confiding in someone you trust.\\nIf you slip up and act out of line, it's not the end of the world. Apologize to anyone you upset, acknowledge your mistake, and try to do better next time. You're only human, so you won't be perfect.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use confident and attentive body language.\", \"描述\": \"Work on using open body language to signal that you're approachable and calm in general. One sign of healthy masculinity is feeling and looking secure in who you are. \\nStand up straight, face the person you're talking to, and listen attentively.\\nCut back on fidgeting unless you really need it. (For example, some neurodivergent people need to stim to self-regulate and stay engaged.)\\nOf course, you don't have to fake it if you're having a rough time. It's okay to be vulnerable and let your guard down from time to time, especially around people you trust. Part of being secure in your masculinity is being willing to drop a facade when you need to, trusting that you are still masculine.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid to say no.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being self-assured is knowing how to value yourself. When you value yourself, you don't let others mess with you or tell you what to do. Saying no is a form of self-esteem. Sure, you may have to do things you don't want to do at times, but you must be able to make that decision for yourself. \\nDon’t let people mess with you. When/If they do, stand your ground.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dressing Masculine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothing that is slightly baggy.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing clothes that are slightly larger than your body can assist you in achieving a masculine appearance. Instead of wearing clothing that is too tight and exposes your shape, try on something that is a little looser but still looks good on you. This is especially useful if you have a feminine figure or want to conceal your curves. Often a sports bra or binder can also be used to help with this.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose the right accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Proper accessories can really elevate an outfit. Masculine accessories include:\\nBaseball caps\\nStud earrings\\nWatches\\nBelts\\nCross body bags\\nBeanies\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress in layers.\", \"描述\": \"Layers can be jackets, hoodies, shirts, sweaters, and more. Learn about different types of layers in clothing:\\nHoodies: Hoodies can conceal the shape of your body, curves, and chest, which is why many people prefer them. When paired with structured pieces, they're surprisingly versatile. They are also comfortable and can provide warmth in cold environments and during the winter.\\nFlannels: While flannels aren't technically layers, an oversized flannel can be worn with a shirt underneath. These can be worn during autumn and warmer seasons, and come in a variety of plaid patterns.\\nSweatshirts: This is a stylish, casual alternative to baggy hoodies, which can sometimes look sloppy (depending on how baggy they are).\\nCrewnecks: Crewnecks can be worn with a lot of different bottoms. Most are designed to fit snugly around your chest, with sleeves that are looser and more relaxed. Keep in mind that crewnecks can put more emphasis on your hips, so if you're trying to pass as a trans guy, remember that.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear the right shirts.\", \"描述\": \"Shirts make half of an outfit. These are different types of shirts:\\nDress shirts: a dress shirt, also known as a button shirt, is a garment with a collar and a full-length front opening that is fastened with buttons or shirt studs. Dress shirts are longer in length because they are intended to be tucked into pants. Dress shirts are appropriate for formal occasions and dances.\\nOxford button down shirts: This crisp classic is the epitome of versatility. A breezy button-down like this is perfect for everyday denim, but it can also be dressed up with a tailored vest and tie.\\nT-shirts: They are comfy, come in a variety of prints and styles, and anyone can wear them. Look for unisex shirts if you have a feminine body but want to achieve a masculine style.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find the right bottoms.\", \"描述\": \"Pants are especially important because they act as a foundation, or anchor, for the rest of your outfit. Pants will be mostly in the background of an outfit, acting as a foundation for your shirt or outerwear in the foreground:\\nBaggy pants: A good pair of slightly baggy pants can instantly make you appear more masculine. They are the ideal complement to any masculine wardrobe. Oversized and loose-fitting pants conceal your shape and can be worn by all genders.\\nLoose fitting jeans: It's a good idea to invest in classic pieces, such as loose fit jeans, that can be worn with anything, especially t-shirts.\\nChinos/Khakis: Chino and khakis are typically light, cotton-blend pants that come in a variety of colors. These are lighter and more breathable than jeans and denim, which aren't.\\n(Knee) shorts: Shorts are short-length trousers or pants that cover the upper part of the leg but do not cover the entire leg. Shorter people can also opt for shorts that hit 2 or 3 inches above the knee to give the illusion of longer legs.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wear the right shoes.\", \"描述\": \"A good pair of shoes not only enhances your fashion appeal, but also assists you in creating the perfect look and satisfying your desire for fashion accessories. Among the various pairs of shoes are:\\nSneakers: Sneakers are shoes that were originally designed for sports or other forms of physical activity, but are now widely used for everyday casual wear.\\nSlip on shoes: Slip-ons are typically low-heeled, lace-free shoes worn on casual occasions.\\nConverse/vans: These classic, gender-neutral shoes come in a variety of styles.\\nLoafers: Loafers are shoes that have no lacing or fastening system and are simply slipped on the foot, and typically go with suits.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't wear makeup (optional).\", \"描述\": \"If you're trying to look masculine, you might now want avoid makeup, as it can make your face look more feminine. However, if you're trying to pass as a guy, makeup applied in the right way can make you look more masculine.\\nYou might also want to wear makeup for other reasons, so don't feel limited to makeup.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you're binding your chest, darker colored shirts can also help your binder look less noticeable.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't let masculinity limit you. You don't have to fit all the stereotypes all the time. Being yourself keeps you balanced and emotionally healthy.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,917 | How to Be Mature | 1. Developing Mature Behaviors
1-1. Develop your interests.
Lacking dynamic or developed interests or hobbies might contribute to your seeming immature. Finding something that you enjoy doing and becoming an "expert" at it can make you seem more experienced and mature. It will also give you something to talk about with others, whether or not they also participate in your hobby.
Try to keep your hobbies active and productive. It’s a lot of fun to watch a TV show marathon, but it isn’t necessarily the best use of your time. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy movies, TV, and video games, but they shouldn’t be the only things you spend your time on.
Hobbies can increase your self-esteem and boost your creativity. They can also stimulate parts of your brain that make you feel positive and happy.
There’s basically no limit to the types of things you can do! Get a camera and learn photography. Pick up a musical instrument. Practice a new language. Learn to beatbox. Start a live-action roleplaying group. Just make sure that whatever you choose is something you enjoy doing, or it’ll become a chore rather than a hobby.
1-2. Set goals
Part of maturity is being able to assess your current strengths, determine areas that you need to improve, and set goals for the future. Keep the future in mind and let it inform the choices you are making about your life right now. Once you have set goals that are clear, actionable, and measurable, take action to work towards them.
Setting goals can seem overwhelming, but don’t worry! It just takes a little time and planning. Start by figuring out what really matters to you—what do you value, and what do you want to do next in your life? From there, you can figure out the steps you need to take to get where you want to be.
First you need to think about a few categories: Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.
Who. This is who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the primary person here. However, this category could also include a tutor, a volunteer coordinator, or a counselor.
What. What do you want to achieve? It’s important to be as specific as possible in this step. “Prepare for college” is way too big. You’ll never get started on a huge vague goal like that. Instead, choose a few specifics that will help you achieve that bigger goal, like “Do a volunteer activity” and “Participate in an extracurricular activity.”
When. This helps you know when specific parts of your plan have to be done. Knowing this will help keep you on track. For example, if you want to volunteer, you need to know if there’s a deadline to apply, when the activities are, and when you’ll be able to do them.
Where. It’s often helpful to identify where you’ll be working on achieving this goal. For the volunteering example, you might choose to work at an animal shelter.
How. In this step you identify how you’ll achieve each stage of your goal. For example, what is the process for contacting the shelter to volunteer? How will you get to the animal shelter? How will you balance your volunteering with your other responsibilities? You have to think about answers to these types of questions.
Why. This is probably the most important part, believe it or not. You’re more likely to achieve a goal when it’s meaningful to you and you can see how it fits in the “big picture.” Figure out why this goal is important. For example, “I want to volunteer at the animal shelter so that I can make my resume more attractive for pre-vet college programs.”
1-3. Know when it is okay to be silly.
You do not have to be serious all of the time in order to be mature. Real maturity is knowing your audience and figuring out when it’s appropriate to be silly and when it’s important to be serious. It’s good to have different levels of silly so you can scale your actions appropriately.
Try setting aside a part of your day that’s just for goofing off. You need time to blow off steam and get goofy. Give yourself a little time every day (say, after school) to indulge in wacky hijinks.
Understand that silliness usually isn’t appropriate in formal situations, such as school, church, at work, and especially at funerals. You’re expected to be paying attention, not pranking people. Being silly in these situations will usually communicate immaturity.
However, informal situations like hanging out with your friends, or even time with your family, can be a great time to get silly. It can even help you bond with each other.
Establish some parameters for when it is okay and when it is not okay to play a joke or be silly. Don’t use mean-spirited or belittling humor or pranks.
1-4. Be respectful of others.
We all have to live in the world together. If you do things to intentionally annoy others, or if you do whatever you want without keeping the feelings of others in mind, people may view you as immature. Trying to remember the needs and wants of other people around you will help you cultivate a reputation as a mature and respectful individual.
Being respectful of others doesn’t mean you have to let them walk all over you. It does mean that you need to listen to others and treat them the way you’d like to be treated. If the other person is rude or unkind to you, don’t respond with unkindness of your own. Show that you’re the bigger person by walking away.
1-5. Pick mature friends.
Your friends will influence your behavior. Make sure that you're associating with people who will make you a better person, instead of spending time with people who only drag you down.
2. Developing Emotional Maturity
2-1. Don’t be a bully.
Bullying behavior often emerges from a sense of insecurity or poor self-esteem. It can be a way for people to try and assert their power over others. Bullying is bad for people who are bullied and for those who do the bullying. If you find yourself engaging in bullying behavior, talk to someone you trust, like a parent or school counselor, about how to stop.
Bullying falls into three basic types: verbal, social, and physical.
Verbal bullying involves things like name-calling, threatening others, or making inappropriate comments. While words don’t cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Watch what you say, and don’t say something to someone that you wouldn’t want them to say to you.
Social bullying involves doing damage to someone’s social reputation or relationships. Shunning others, spreading rumors, humiliating others, or gossiping are all types of social bullying.
Physical bullying involves hurting someone (or someone’s things). Any physical violence, as well as taking or destroying someone’s stuff or making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.
Don’t allow bullying to happen when you’re around, either. While you don’t have to get physically involved with a bully -- in fact, that can be really unsafe -- there are plenty of ways for you to help create a bully-free environment. Try:
Setting a good example by not bullying others.
Telling bullies that their behavior isn’t funny or cool.
Being nice to victims of bullying.
Telling responsible adults about bullying.
If you feel like you have a bullying problem, consider talking with a counselor or therapist. Maybe you have some deeper issues that are making you feel like you need to belittle or pick on others. A counselor can give you approaches to develop more positive relationships.
2-2. Avoid gossip, rumors, and talking about others behind their backs.
Gossip, rumor-mongering, and backstabbing can hurt other people just as much as if you’d punched them in the face -- maybe even more. Even if you don’t mean gossip maliciously, it can still do damage. Mature people care about others’ needs and feelings and don’t do things that could cause hurt.
Gossip won’t necessarily make you cool or popular, either. Studies have shown that gossip may make you seem cool when you’re in fifth grade, but by ninth grade (when you’re hopefully more mature) gossipers are generally seen as less likeable and less popular.
Don’t encourage gossip either. If someone tries to initiate gossip when you’re around, speak up: research shows that when even one person says “Hey, I’m not cool with gossiping about other people” it can really make a difference.
Sometimes, you may say something nice about someone and it can end up translated by other people as gossip. For example, maybe you told a friend “I really like hanging out with Ziyi. She’s so funny!” and someone else told someone else that you said something mean. You can’t control how other people interpret or respond to what you say. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. Make sure that your words are kind.
A good test to determine whether something is gossip or rumor is to ask yourself: Would I want other people to hear or know this about me? If the answer is no, don’t share it with others.
2-3. Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.
If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will communicate that what the person said was not okay. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if there's no apology, just walk away.
2-4. Keep an open mind
Mature people are open-minded. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut it out or dismiss the possibility. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone) new and different.
If someone has a different belief or habit than you do, don’t judge it immediately. Instead, ask open questions, such as “Could you tell me more about this?” or “Why do you do that?”
Try to listen more than you talk, at least at first. Don’t interrupt people or say “But I think---” Let them talk. You’ll be surprised what you learn.
Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification before you make a snap judgement. For example, if you think someone just insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say _______. Is that what you meant?” If the other person says s/he didn’t mean it that way, accept it.
Don’t expect the worst from people. Go into situations expecting that everyone else is human, just like you. They probably won’t try to be mean or hurtful, but they may also make mistakes. Learning to accept people just as they are will help you be more mature.
Sometimes, you just won’t agree with someone else. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree -- that’s part of being mature.
2-5. Have confidence in yourself
Do not apologize for any quirks or oddities that you may have, even if others don’t approve. As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial and won’t cause anyone harm, you should feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't second-guess themselves or try to be something that they aren't.
Developing hobbies and skills you’re good at is a great way to build your self-confidence. You’ll learn that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and have a cool set of skills to share with others.
Watch out for that inner critic. If you notice negative thoughts about yourself, think about whether you’d say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t do it to a friend, why would you tear yourself down? Try rewording these negative thoughts into helpful ones.
For example, you might think “I am such a loser! I suck at math and I’ll never get any better.” This isn’t a helpful thought, and it definitely isn’t something you’d tell a friend. Reword it in terms of what you can do about it: “I’m not great at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don’t make an A in the class, I’ll know I did my best.”
2-6. Be genuine.
A mark of true maturity is being true to who you are. You can have self-confidence without acting arrogant or pompous. A mature person doesn’t have to tear others down or pretend to be something s/he’s not to feel good about him or herself.
Talk about things that truly interest you. When you care about something, it shows.
When you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to go overboard denying them. For example, if the thought “I really am worried about this test next week” shows up, your first reaction might be to pretend “Nothing scares me!” This isn’t true to yourself. It’s more mature to admit when you’re feeling insecure or vulnerable. Everyone has moments when they don’t feel confident. That’s totally normal.
Express your feelings clearly. Beating around the bush or being passive aggressive aren’t mature or genuine ways to deal with your feelings. Be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say how you really feel.
Do what you think is right. Sometimes, other people may mock or criticise you for it. However, if you stick to your principles, you’ll know you’ve been true to yourself. If people don’t respect that, you don’t want their good opinion anyway.
2-7. Accept personal responsibility.
Possibly the most important part of becoming a more mature person is accepting responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that things don’t simply happen to you. You are an agent in your own life, and your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others. Own up when you make mistakes. Recognize that you can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do.
Accept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do badly on an essay, don’t blame it on the teacher. Think about what actions you took to get you to that result. What can you do better next time?
Focus less on whether something is fair. Things will not always be fair in life. Sometimes, you may deserve something that you don’t get. Mature people will not allow unfairness to stand in the way of their accomplishments.
2-8. Take control of what you can.
A lot of anxiety comes from trying to control things that aren't necessarily yours to control. However, there are things you can control, and it's important to be aware of those and to work on what you can in order to improve those things. For example:
For the job: You can polish and proofread your resume. You can prepare for the interview as well as you can. You can dress professionally when you interview for the job. You can show up on time. You may still end up not getting the job, but you will have done everything within your control.
For relationships: You can be respectful, funny, and kind. You can be yourself around the other person. You can be vulnerable and tell him/her that you’d like to have a relationship. These are things you are in control of. Even if things don’t work out, you can rest easy knowing you stayed true to yourself and gave yourself the best shot.
2-9. Don’t accept defeat.
Most of the time, people give up because it’s easier than trying again. It’s much easier to say “I’m a loser” than it is to say “Well, that approach didn’t work out, let’s see what else I can do!” Accept responsibility for your choices and choose to keep on trying, no matter what.
3. Communicating Like an Adult
3-1. Control your temper
Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be tamed. Don't overreact to minor things that don't matter. When you feel yourself getting upset, stop and take 10 seconds to think about your response before you do or say anything. This will keep you from things you regret and will help you become a more mature communicator.
After you stop, ask yourself what’s really going on. What’s the real problem here? Why are you upset? You may find out that you’re really mad about something that happened two days ago, and actually not about having to clean your room.
Think of potential solutions to the problem. Run through a couple of ways you might react before you pick one. What will address what’s going on?
Consider the consequences. This is where a lot of people may stumble. “Doing what I want” is often the most attractive solution, but will it really fix the problem? Or will it make it worse? Think about what the result of each option is likely to be.
Pick a solution. After you’ve considered the possible consequences of each option, pick the one that seems best for you. Note that this won’t always be the easiest or the most fun! That’s just part of becoming more mature.
If you must say something, use a calm voice and give some reasonable arguments to justify how you're feeling. If the person just wants to argue and doesn't want to listen, walk away from the conflict. It's not worth it.
When you're enraged or about to overreact, take deep breaths and count to 10. You must maintain self-control and not let wrath get the better of you.
If you have a temper, people may enjoy provoking you. When you control your temper, they will lose interest in making you angry and will start leaving you alone.
3-2. Learn assertive communication techniques.
When adults want to communicate maturely, they use assertive techniques and behaviors. Assertiveness isn’t the same as cockiness, arrogance or aggression. Assertive individuals express their own feelings and needs clearly, and they listen when others do the same. Arrogant and selfish individuals don’t care about others’ needs and are focused on getting what they want, when they want it -- whether or not it makes others miserable. Learn to stand up for yourself without being arrogant or aggressive, and you’ll definitely feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate assertively:
Use “I”-statements. “You”-statements make other people feel blamed and shuts them down. Keeping the focus on what you’re feeling and experiencing keeps the way open for productive, mature communication.
For example, instead of telling your parents “You never listen to me!” try using an “I”-statement like “I feel like my perspective hasn’t been heard.” When you say you “feel” a certain way, the other person is more likely to want to know why.
Recognize others’ needs too. Life isn’t all about you. It’s great to communicate your feelings and needs clearly, but remember to also ask others about theirs. Being able to put others first is a true sign of maturity.
Don’t jump to conclusions. If you aren’t sure what happened with someone, ask! Don’t prejudge -- remember, you don’t have all the information.
For example, if your friend forgot that you were supposed to go shopping together, don’t assume that it’s because she doesn’t care or is a terrible person.
Instead, use an “I”-statement and follow it up with an invitation for her to express her feelings: “I felt really disappointed when you couldn’t make it shopping. What’s up?”
Offer to collaborate with others. Instead of saying “I want to go skateboarding,” ask others for input: “What would everyone like to do?”
3-3. Avoid constant swearing
Many people and cultures have expectations that mature communicators won’t curse or swear. Swearing can shock others, or even make them feel as though you’re disrespecting them. Swearing can also cause others to think that you’re incompetent or bad at communicating. Instead of swearing, try expanding your vocabulary. As you learn new words, use them to express yourself.
If you frequently swear when you’re upset or when you hurt yourself, try making it a game to come up with creative exclamations instead. Instead of swearing when you stub your toe, it’s a lot funnier (and more impressive) to say something creative like “Fudge monkeys!”
3-4. Speak politely
If you raise your voice, especially when you are angry, you’re likely to make people uncomfortable. They may even decide to tune you out. Screaming is what toddlers do, not mature adults.
Use an even, calm tone of voice, even when you’re upset.
3-5. Watch your body language.
Your body can say as much as your words. For example, crossing your arms in front of you can tell others that you’re not interested in what they’re saying. Standing slouched over communicates that you’re not really “there” or you want to be somewhere else. Learn what your body is communicating, and make sure it’s what you want.
Hold your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them in front of you.
Stand up straight, with your chest out and head parallel to the floor.
Remember that your face communicates too. Don’t roll your eyes or stare at the floor.
3-6. Talk about mature topics with people.
Examples of mature topics include school, the news, life experiences, and life lessons you have learned. Of course, you can take some time for being goofy with your friends. It’s all about considering your audience. You probably won’t talk about the same topics with your best friend as you do with your math teacher.
Ask questions. One of the signs of maturity is intellectual curiosity. If all you ever do is talk at someone, you won’t seem very mature. Ask others for their input. If someone says something interesting, say “Tell me more about that!”
Don’t pretend to know something you don’t. It can be hard to admit you don’t know something. After all, you really want to appear mature and informed. But pretending to know something only to have it come out that you don’t could make you look (and feel) foolish. It’s much better to say something like, “I haven’t read much about that. I’ll have to look into it!”
3-7. Say something nice.
If you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all. Immature people constantly criticize things and point out flaws about other people, and they don't hesitate to say hurtful insults by all matters. Sometimes, they justify cruelty by stating that they're just "being honest." Mature people choose their words carefully, and they don't hurt people's feelings in their quest to be "honest," so remember to watch what you say, and don't say things that hurt other's feelings. Treat people the way that you want to be treated.
3-8. Learn to apologize sincerely for your mistakes
No matter how conscientious you are, you're going to say the wrong thing or inadvertently hurt people from time to time. We all do stupid things once in a while, because nobody on earth is perfect. Learn to swallow your pride and say, "I'm sorry." A genuine, honest apology when you've done something wrong demonstrates true maturity.
3-9. Tell the truth, but be compassionate
This is a really difficult skill to master, but thinking about whether you would want someone to say something to you can help you figure out what to say. In Buddhism, there’s a saying: “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself: is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” Consider it before speaking. Those around you will appreciate your honesty, and your compassion will show that you truly care about others.
For example, if a friend asks you if her dress makes her look fat, consider what would be most helpful. Beauty is very subjective, so offering an opinion on her looks isn’t likely to be helpful. However, telling your friend that you love her and she looks just the way she is could be the confidence boost she needs.
If you really think your friend’s outfit is not attractive, there are tactful ways to say this if you think it will be helpful. For example, “You know, I like the red dress better than this one” doesn’t judge your friend’s body -- nobody needs that -- but it does answer her question of whether she looks her best.
Behavioral scientists suggest that some types of dishonesty are actually “pro-social,” little lies you tell to help others avoid embarrassment or hurt. It’s up to you to decide whether this is something you want to do. Whatever you decide, choose to be kind in doing it.
4. Being Courteous
4-1. Use good manners when you interact with people.
Shake hands with a solid, firm grip, and look right into that person's eyes. If your culture has a different way to greet others, use that form in an appropriate and polite way. When you meet someone new, make a good effort to remember the person's name by repeating it: “Nice to meet you, Wendy.” Good manners communicate that you respect the other person, which is the behavior of a mature person.
Throughout any conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Don’t stare at the other person, though. Use the 50/70 rule: make eye contact for 50% of the time when you’re talking, and 70% of the time while the other person is talking.
Avoid fidgeting or fiddling with random objects. Fidgeting is a sign that you lack confidence. Keep your hands open and relaxed.
Don't sit there thinking about places you'd rather be. Most people are very good at noticing when you don’t care about an interaction, and it will hurt their feelings.
Don't talk on your cell phone or text people while you should be paying attention to the person in front of you. This communicates disrespect.
When you enter a new situation or new community, keep quiet for awhile and notice how other people are acting. It's not your job to tell other people what they should or shouldn't do. Instead, watch and be respectful.
4-2. Observe good online etiquette.
Using good online etiquette shows that you respect your friends, family and other people that are hanging out with you online. It’s a sign of maturity. Keep in mind that a lot of what you say online can also be seen by people like potential employers, teachers, and others, so don’t say things that would embarrass or hurt you.
Avoid strong or offensive language. Don’t overuse exclamation points. Remember that you aren’t there in person to clarify your point, so make sure not to overwhelm your audience.
Use your shift key. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginnings of sentences instead of writing in all lower-case letters. Avoid using nonstandard cApitaliZaTion. It makes your writing much harder to read.
Avoid using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. This is the internet equivalent of shouting. This may be okay if you’re posting a tweet about how your hockey team just won the championship, but it’s not a good idea in daily emails and social media posts.
When sending an email, use a salutation (the “Dear” in “Dear John”). Starting an email without one is rude, particularly if it’s to someone you don’t know well or to someone like a teacher. Also use a closing, such as “Thank you” or “Sincerely.”
Proofread before you send an e-mail or make a social media post to make sure you didn't make a mistake. Use complete sentences, and be sure to add proper punctuation at the end of each sentence.
Go easy on abbreviations, slang and emoticons. It's okay to use these in a casual text to a friend, but don't use them in an e-mail to your teacher, or in another situation where you want to look mature.
Remember the golden rule online, just like the golden rule in real life. If you want someone to be nice to you, be nice to them too. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
4-3. Be helpful.
Hold doors, help pick things up, and offer assistance to anyone who needs it. Consider being helpful in your community as well, like being a mentor to a younger student, tutoring, or working at an animal shelter. When you make others happy, you’re more likely to feel happy yourself. Serving others rather than just yourself is a very mature behavior.
Helpful acts may also boost your self-esteem. Studies have shown that when we help others, we get a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we’ve done.
Being helpful isn’t always a two-way street. There may be times when you help others and they don’t say “thank you” or offer to help in return. That’s on them. Remember that you’re being helpful for you, not to get anything from anyone else.
4-4. Avoid trying to be the center of attention all the time.
When you constantly take over conversations and talk about yourself all of the time instead of giving other people a chance to talk, it shows disrespect and immaturity. Showing a genuine interest in the interests and experiences of others can make you seem more mature and less self-centered. You might also learn something new or develop a new respect for someone based on what you hear.
4-5. Accept both compliments and criticism with maturity.
If somebody compliments you, say "thank you" and leave it at that. If someone criticizes you, be polite and say something "Okay, I'll definitely think it over." Maybe the criticism isn't valid, but handling it politely makes you look mature in the moment.
Try not to take criticism personally. Sometimes, people may be trying to help and aren’t communicating well. If you think that’s the case, ask for clarification: “I heard you say that you didn’t like my essay. Could you tell me some more specifics so I can do better next time?”
Sometimes, the criticism says much more about the person giving it than it does about you. If the criticism seems unfair or hurtful, remember that the other person may just be trying to make him or herself feel better by tearing you down. In some cases, they may even be reacting that way because they recognize something in you that they don't like about themselves.
Accepting criticism gracefully doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them in a calm and polite way: “I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but when you criticized my outfit it really hurt my feelings. Next time, could you not make comments about my appearance?”
Don't spend too much time criticizing yourself, either. If you notice something about yourself you'd like to change, work on it a little at a time. Keep in mind that any change is a process, so be patient if it doesn't happen overnight.
Tips
When faced with a conflict with others, avoid arguing and instead, try to resolve it in a calm rational manner. If it does escalate to arguing, end it as quickly as possible.
Maturity is difficult to acquire. However, don't change who you are to become more mature. Instead, endeavor to be who you are and be that well. It is no longer a question of who is older and who is younger. If you want to be taken seriously by people around you, think and act on how you want to be heard just make sure that once you take the step; be firm about it, and make a stand on your choice. If something went wrong - do your best to keep your calm and think of the next step, don't put the blame on others, you took the action and you're responsible for it. Be matured, and be responsible.
Be kind, understanding and a friend to everyone! Don't be kind just for one day, but all the time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:16",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Mature Behaviors\\n1-1. Develop your interests.\\nLacking dynamic or developed interests or hobbies might contribute to your seeming immature. Finding something that you enjoy doing and becoming an \\\"expert\\\" at it can make you seem more experienced and mature. It will also give you something to talk about with others, whether or not they also participate in your hobby.\\nTry to keep your hobbies active and productive. It’s a lot of fun to watch a TV show marathon, but it isn’t necessarily the best use of your time. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy movies, TV, and video games, but they shouldn’t be the only things you spend your time on.\\nHobbies can increase your self-esteem and boost your creativity. They can also stimulate parts of your brain that make you feel positive and happy.\\nThere’s basically no limit to the types of things you can do! Get a camera and learn photography. Pick up a musical instrument. Practice a new language. Learn to beatbox. Start a live-action roleplaying group. Just make sure that whatever you choose is something you enjoy doing, or it’ll become a chore rather than a hobby.\\n1-2. Set goals\\nPart of maturity is being able to assess your current strengths, determine areas that you need to improve, and set goals for the future. Keep the future in mind and let it inform the choices you are making about your life right now. Once you have set goals that are clear, actionable, and measurable, take action to work towards them.\\nSetting goals can seem overwhelming, but don’t worry! It just takes a little time and planning. Start by figuring out what really matters to you—what do you value, and what do you want to do next in your life? From there, you can figure out the steps you need to take to get where you want to be.\\nFirst you need to think about a few categories: Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.\\nWho. This is who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the primary person here. However, this category could also include a tutor, a volunteer coordinator, or a counselor.\\nWhat. What do you want to achieve? It’s important to be as specific as possible in this step. “Prepare for college” is way too big. You’ll never get started on a huge vague goal like that. Instead, choose a few specifics that will help you achieve that bigger goal, like “Do a volunteer activity” and “Participate in an extracurricular activity.”\\nWhen. This helps you know when specific parts of your plan have to be done. Knowing this will help keep you on track. For example, if you want to volunteer, you need to know if there’s a deadline to apply, when the activities are, and when you’ll be able to do them.\\nWhere. It’s often helpful to identify where you’ll be working on achieving this goal. For the volunteering example, you might choose to work at an animal shelter.\\nHow. In this step you identify how you’ll achieve each stage of your goal. For example, what is the process for contacting the shelter to volunteer? How will you get to the animal shelter? How will you balance your volunteering with your other responsibilities? You have to think about answers to these types of questions.\\nWhy. This is probably the most important part, believe it or not. You’re more likely to achieve a goal when it’s meaningful to you and you can see how it fits in the “big picture.” Figure out why this goal is important. For example, “I want to volunteer at the animal shelter so that I can make my resume more attractive for pre-vet college programs.”\\n1-3. Know when it is okay to be silly.\\nYou do not have to be serious all of the time in order to be mature. Real maturity is knowing your audience and figuring out when it’s appropriate to be silly and when it’s important to be serious. It’s good to have different levels of silly so you can scale your actions appropriately.\\nTry setting aside a part of your day that’s just for goofing off. You need time to blow off steam and get goofy. Give yourself a little time every day (say, after school) to indulge in wacky hijinks.\\nUnderstand that silliness usually isn’t appropriate in formal situations, such as school, church, at work, and especially at funerals. You’re expected to be paying attention, not pranking people. Being silly in these situations will usually communicate immaturity.\\nHowever, informal situations like hanging out with your friends, or even time with your family, can be a great time to get silly. It can even help you bond with each other.\\nEstablish some parameters for when it is okay and when it is not okay to play a joke or be silly. Don’t use mean-spirited or belittling humor or pranks.\\n1-4. Be respectful of others.\\nWe all have to live in the world together. If you do things to intentionally annoy others, or if you do whatever you want without keeping the feelings of others in mind, people may view you as immature. Trying to remember the needs and wants of other people around you will help you cultivate a reputation as a mature and respectful individual.\\nBeing respectful of others doesn’t mean you have to let them walk all over you. It does mean that you need to listen to others and treat them the way you’d like to be treated. If the other person is rude or unkind to you, don’t respond with unkindness of your own. Show that you’re the bigger person by walking away.\\n1-5. Pick mature friends.\\nYour friends will influence your behavior. Make sure that you're associating with people who will make you a better person, instead of spending time with people who only drag you down.\\n2. Developing Emotional Maturity\\n2-1. Don’t be a bully.\\nBullying behavior often emerges from a sense of insecurity or poor self-esteem. It can be a way for people to try and assert their power over others. Bullying is bad for people who are bullied and for those who do the bullying. If you find yourself engaging in bullying behavior, talk to someone you trust, like a parent or school counselor, about how to stop.\\nBullying falls into three basic types: verbal, social, and physical.\\nVerbal bullying involves things like name-calling, threatening others, or making inappropriate comments. While words don’t cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Watch what you say, and don’t say something to someone that you wouldn’t want them to say to you.\\nSocial bullying involves doing damage to someone’s social reputation or relationships. Shunning others, spreading rumors, humiliating others, or gossiping are all types of social bullying.\\nPhysical bullying involves hurting someone (or someone’s things). Any physical violence, as well as taking or destroying someone’s stuff or making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.\\nDon’t allow bullying to happen when you’re around, either. While you don’t have to get physically involved with a bully -- in fact, that can be really unsafe -- there are plenty of ways for you to help create a bully-free environment. Try:\\nSetting a good example by not bullying others.\\nTelling bullies that their behavior isn’t funny or cool.\\nBeing nice to victims of bullying.\\nTelling responsible adults about bullying.\\n\\nIf you feel like you have a bullying problem, consider talking with a counselor or therapist. Maybe you have some deeper issues that are making you feel like you need to belittle or pick on others. A counselor can give you approaches to develop more positive relationships.\\n2-2. Avoid gossip, rumors, and talking about others behind their backs.\\nGossip, rumor-mongering, and backstabbing can hurt other people just as much as if you’d punched them in the face -- maybe even more. Even if you don’t mean gossip maliciously, it can still do damage. Mature people care about others’ needs and feelings and don’t do things that could cause hurt.\\nGossip won’t necessarily make you cool or popular, either. Studies have shown that gossip may make you seem cool when you’re in fifth grade, but by ninth grade (when you’re hopefully more mature) gossipers are generally seen as less likeable and less popular.\\nDon’t encourage gossip either. If someone tries to initiate gossip when you’re around, speak up: research shows that when even one person says “Hey, I’m not cool with gossiping about other people” it can really make a difference.\\nSometimes, you may say something nice about someone and it can end up translated by other people as gossip. For example, maybe you told a friend “I really like hanging out with Ziyi. She’s so funny!” and someone else told someone else that you said something mean. You can’t control how other people interpret or respond to what you say. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. Make sure that your words are kind.\\nA good test to determine whether something is gossip or rumor is to ask yourself: Would I want other people to hear or know this about me? If the answer is no, don’t share it with others.\\n2-3. Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.\\nIf you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will communicate that what the person said was not okay. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if there's no apology, just walk away.\\n2-4. Keep an open mind\\nMature people are open-minded. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut it out or dismiss the possibility. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone) new and different.\\nIf someone has a different belief or habit than you do, don’t judge it immediately. Instead, ask open questions, such as “Could you tell me more about this?” or “Why do you do that?”\\nTry to listen more than you talk, at least at first. Don’t interrupt people or say “But I think---” Let them talk. You’ll be surprised what you learn.\\nAsk for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification before you make a snap judgement. For example, if you think someone just insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say _______. Is that what you meant?” If the other person says s/he didn’t mean it that way, accept it.\\nDon’t expect the worst from people. Go into situations expecting that everyone else is human, just like you. They probably won’t try to be mean or hurtful, but they may also make mistakes. Learning to accept people just as they are will help you be more mature.\\nSometimes, you just won’t agree with someone else. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree -- that’s part of being mature.\\n2-5. Have confidence in yourself\\nDo not apologize for any quirks or oddities that you may have, even if others don’t approve. As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial and won’t cause anyone harm, you should feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't second-guess themselves or try to be something that they aren't.\\nDeveloping hobbies and skills you’re good at is a great way to build your self-confidence. You’ll learn that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and have a cool set of skills to share with others.\\nWatch out for that inner critic. If you notice negative thoughts about yourself, think about whether you’d say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t do it to a friend, why would you tear yourself down? Try rewording these negative thoughts into helpful ones.\\nFor example, you might think “I am such a loser! I suck at math and I’ll never get any better.” This isn’t a helpful thought, and it definitely isn’t something you’d tell a friend. Reword it in terms of what you can do about it: “I’m not great at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don’t make an A in the class, I’ll know I did my best.”\\n2-6. Be genuine.\\nA mark of true maturity is being true to who you are. You can have self-confidence without acting arrogant or pompous. A mature person doesn’t have to tear others down or pretend to be something s/he’s not to feel good about him or herself.\\nTalk about things that truly interest you. When you care about something, it shows.\\nWhen you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to go overboard denying them. For example, if the thought “I really am worried about this test next week” shows up, your first reaction might be to pretend “Nothing scares me!” This isn’t true to yourself. It’s more mature to admit when you’re feeling insecure or vulnerable. Everyone has moments when they don’t feel confident. That’s totally normal.\\nExpress your feelings clearly. Beating around the bush or being passive aggressive aren’t mature or genuine ways to deal with your feelings. Be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say how you really feel.\\nDo what you think is right. Sometimes, other people may mock or criticise you for it. However, if you stick to your principles, you’ll know you’ve been true to yourself. If people don’t respect that, you don’t want their good opinion anyway.\\n2-7. Accept personal responsibility.\\nPossibly the most important part of becoming a more mature person is accepting responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that things don’t simply happen to you. You are an agent in your own life, and your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others. Own up when you make mistakes. Recognize that you can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do.\\nAccept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do badly on an essay, don’t blame it on the teacher. Think about what actions you took to get you to that result. What can you do better next time?\\nFocus less on whether something is fair. Things will not always be fair in life. Sometimes, you may deserve something that you don’t get. Mature people will not allow unfairness to stand in the way of their accomplishments.\\n2-8. Take control of what you can.\\nA lot of anxiety comes from trying to control things that aren't necessarily yours to control. However, there are things you can control, and it's important to be aware of those and to work on what you can in order to improve those things. For example:\\nFor the job: You can polish and proofread your resume. You can prepare for the interview as well as you can. You can dress professionally when you interview for the job. You can show up on time. You may still end up not getting the job, but you will have done everything within your control.\\nFor relationships: You can be respectful, funny, and kind. You can be yourself around the other person. You can be vulnerable and tell him/her that you’d like to have a relationship. These are things you are in control of. Even if things don’t work out, you can rest easy knowing you stayed true to yourself and gave yourself the best shot.\\n2-9. Don’t accept defeat.\\nMost of the time, people give up because it’s easier than trying again. It’s much easier to say “I’m a loser” than it is to say “Well, that approach didn’t work out, let’s see what else I can do!” Accept responsibility for your choices and choose to keep on trying, no matter what.\\n3. Communicating Like an Adult\\n3-1. Control your temper\\nAnger is a powerful emotion, but it can be tamed. Don't overreact to minor things that don't matter. When you feel yourself getting upset, stop and take 10 seconds to think about your response before you do or say anything. This will keep you from things you regret and will help you become a more mature communicator.\\nAfter you stop, ask yourself what’s really going on. What’s the real problem here? Why are you upset? You may find out that you’re really mad about something that happened two days ago, and actually not about having to clean your room.\\nThink of potential solutions to the problem. Run through a couple of ways you might react before you pick one. What will address what’s going on?\\nConsider the consequences. This is where a lot of people may stumble. “Doing what I want” is often the most attractive solution, but will it really fix the problem? Or will it make it worse? Think about what the result of each option is likely to be.\\nPick a solution. After you’ve considered the possible consequences of each option, pick the one that seems best for you. Note that this won’t always be the easiest or the most fun! That’s just part of becoming more mature.\\nIf you must say something, use a calm voice and give some reasonable arguments to justify how you're feeling. If the person just wants to argue and doesn't want to listen, walk away from the conflict. It's not worth it.\\nWhen you're enraged or about to overreact, take deep breaths and count to 10. You must maintain self-control and not let wrath get the better of you.\\nIf you have a temper, people may enjoy provoking you. When you control your temper, they will lose interest in making you angry and will start leaving you alone.\\n3-2. Learn assertive communication techniques.\\nWhen adults want to communicate maturely, they use assertive techniques and behaviors. Assertiveness isn’t the same as cockiness, arrogance or aggression. Assertive individuals express their own feelings and needs clearly, and they listen when others do the same. Arrogant and selfish individuals don’t care about others’ needs and are focused on getting what they want, when they want it -- whether or not it makes others miserable. Learn to stand up for yourself without being arrogant or aggressive, and you’ll definitely feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate assertively:\\nUse “I”-statements. “You”-statements make other people feel blamed and shuts them down. Keeping the focus on what you’re feeling and experiencing keeps the way open for productive, mature communication.\\nFor example, instead of telling your parents “You never listen to me!” try using an “I”-statement like “I feel like my perspective hasn’t been heard.” When you say you “feel” a certain way, the other person is more likely to want to know why.\\nRecognize others’ needs too. Life isn’t all about you. It’s great to communicate your feelings and needs clearly, but remember to also ask others about theirs. Being able to put others first is a true sign of maturity.\\nDon’t jump to conclusions. If you aren’t sure what happened with someone, ask! Don’t prejudge -- remember, you don’t have all the information.\\nFor example, if your friend forgot that you were supposed to go shopping together, don’t assume that it’s because she doesn’t care or is a terrible person.\\nInstead, use an “I”-statement and follow it up with an invitation for her to express her feelings: “I felt really disappointed when you couldn’t make it shopping. What’s up?”\\n\\nOffer to collaborate with others. Instead of saying “I want to go skateboarding,” ask others for input: “What would everyone like to do?”\\n3-3. Avoid constant swearing\\nMany people and cultures have expectations that mature communicators won’t curse or swear. Swearing can shock others, or even make them feel as though you’re disrespecting them. Swearing can also cause others to think that you’re incompetent or bad at communicating. Instead of swearing, try expanding your vocabulary. As you learn new words, use them to express yourself.\\nIf you frequently swear when you’re upset or when you hurt yourself, try making it a game to come up with creative exclamations instead. Instead of swearing when you stub your toe, it’s a lot funnier (and more impressive) to say something creative like “Fudge monkeys!”\\n3-4. Speak politely\\nIf you raise your voice, especially when you are angry, you’re likely to make people uncomfortable. They may even decide to tune you out. Screaming is what toddlers do, not mature adults.\\nUse an even, calm tone of voice, even when you’re upset.\\n3-5. Watch your body language.\\nYour body can say as much as your words. For example, crossing your arms in front of you can tell others that you’re not interested in what they’re saying. Standing slouched over communicates that you’re not really “there” or you want to be somewhere else. Learn what your body is communicating, and make sure it’s what you want.\\nHold your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them in front of you.\\nStand up straight, with your chest out and head parallel to the floor.\\nRemember that your face communicates too. Don’t roll your eyes or stare at the floor.\\n3-6. Talk about mature topics with people.\\nExamples of mature topics include school, the news, life experiences, and life lessons you have learned. Of course, you can take some time for being goofy with your friends. It’s all about considering your audience. You probably won’t talk about the same topics with your best friend as you do with your math teacher.\\nAsk questions. One of the signs of maturity is intellectual curiosity. If all you ever do is talk at someone, you won’t seem very mature. Ask others for their input. If someone says something interesting, say “Tell me more about that!”\\nDon’t pretend to know something you don’t. It can be hard to admit you don’t know something. After all, you really want to appear mature and informed. But pretending to know something only to have it come out that you don’t could make you look (and feel) foolish. It’s much better to say something like, “I haven’t read much about that. I’ll have to look into it!”\\n3-7. Say something nice.\\nIf you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all. Immature people constantly criticize things and point out flaws about other people, and they don't hesitate to say hurtful insults by all matters. Sometimes, they justify cruelty by stating that they're just \\\"being honest.\\\" Mature people choose their words carefully, and they don't hurt people's feelings in their quest to be \\\"honest,\\\" so remember to watch what you say, and don't say things that hurt other's feelings. Treat people the way that you want to be treated.\\n3-8. Learn to apologize sincerely for your mistakes\\nNo matter how conscientious you are, you're going to say the wrong thing or inadvertently hurt people from time to time. We all do stupid things once in a while, because nobody on earth is perfect. Learn to swallow your pride and say, \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" A genuine, honest apology when you've done something wrong demonstrates true maturity.\\n3-9. Tell the truth, but be compassionate\\nThis is a really difficult skill to master, but thinking about whether you would want someone to say something to you can help you figure out what to say. In Buddhism, there’s a saying: “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself: is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” Consider it before speaking. Those around you will appreciate your honesty, and your compassion will show that you truly care about others.\\nFor example, if a friend asks you if her dress makes her look fat, consider what would be most helpful. Beauty is very subjective, so offering an opinion on her looks isn’t likely to be helpful. However, telling your friend that you love her and she looks just the way she is could be the confidence boost she needs.\\nIf you really think your friend’s outfit is not attractive, there are tactful ways to say this if you think it will be helpful. For example, “You know, I like the red dress better than this one” doesn’t judge your friend’s body -- nobody needs that -- but it does answer her question of whether she looks her best.\\nBehavioral scientists suggest that some types of dishonesty are actually “pro-social,” little lies you tell to help others avoid embarrassment or hurt. It’s up to you to decide whether this is something you want to do. Whatever you decide, choose to be kind in doing it.\\n4. Being Courteous\\n4-1. Use good manners when you interact with people.\\nShake hands with a solid, firm grip, and look right into that person's eyes. If your culture has a different way to greet others, use that form in an appropriate and polite way. When you meet someone new, make a good effort to remember the person's name by repeating it: “Nice to meet you, Wendy.” Good manners communicate that you respect the other person, which is the behavior of a mature person.\\nThroughout any conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Don’t stare at the other person, though. Use the 50/70 rule: make eye contact for 50% of the time when you’re talking, and 70% of the time while the other person is talking.\\nAvoid fidgeting or fiddling with random objects. Fidgeting is a sign that you lack confidence. Keep your hands open and relaxed.\\nDon't sit there thinking about places you'd rather be. Most people are very good at noticing when you don’t care about an interaction, and it will hurt their feelings.\\nDon't talk on your cell phone or text people while you should be paying attention to the person in front of you. This communicates disrespect.\\nWhen you enter a new situation or new community, keep quiet for awhile and notice how other people are acting. It's not your job to tell other people what they should or shouldn't do. Instead, watch and be respectful.\\n4-2. Observe good online etiquette.\\nUsing good online etiquette shows that you respect your friends, family and other people that are hanging out with you online. It’s a sign of maturity. Keep in mind that a lot of what you say online can also be seen by people like potential employers, teachers, and others, so don’t say things that would embarrass or hurt you.\\nAvoid strong or offensive language. Don’t overuse exclamation points. Remember that you aren’t there in person to clarify your point, so make sure not to overwhelm your audience.\\nUse your shift key. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginnings of sentences instead of writing in all lower-case letters. Avoid using nonstandard cApitaliZaTion. It makes your writing much harder to read.\\nAvoid using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. This is the internet equivalent of shouting. This may be okay if you’re posting a tweet about how your hockey team just won the championship, but it’s not a good idea in daily emails and social media posts.\\nWhen sending an email, use a salutation (the “Dear” in “Dear John”). Starting an email without one is rude, particularly if it’s to someone you don’t know well or to someone like a teacher. Also use a closing, such as “Thank you” or “Sincerely.”\\nProofread before you send an e-mail or make a social media post to make sure you didn't make a mistake. Use complete sentences, and be sure to add proper punctuation at the end of each sentence.\\nGo easy on abbreviations, slang and emoticons. It's okay to use these in a casual text to a friend, but don't use them in an e-mail to your teacher, or in another situation where you want to look mature.\\nRemember the golden rule online, just like the golden rule in real life. If you want someone to be nice to you, be nice to them too. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.\\n4-3. Be helpful.\\nHold doors, help pick things up, and offer assistance to anyone who needs it. Consider being helpful in your community as well, like being a mentor to a younger student, tutoring, or working at an animal shelter. When you make others happy, you’re more likely to feel happy yourself. Serving others rather than just yourself is a very mature behavior.\\nHelpful acts may also boost your self-esteem. Studies have shown that when we help others, we get a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we’ve done.\\nBeing helpful isn’t always a two-way street. There may be times when you help others and they don’t say “thank you” or offer to help in return. That’s on them. Remember that you’re being helpful for you, not to get anything from anyone else.\\n4-4. Avoid trying to be the center of attention all the time.\\nWhen you constantly take over conversations and talk about yourself all of the time instead of giving other people a chance to talk, it shows disrespect and immaturity. Showing a genuine interest in the interests and experiences of others can make you seem more mature and less self-centered. You might also learn something new or develop a new respect for someone based on what you hear.\\n4-5. Accept both compliments and criticism with maturity.\\nIf somebody compliments you, say \\\"thank you\\\" and leave it at that. If someone criticizes you, be polite and say something \\\"Okay, I'll definitely think it over.\\\" Maybe the criticism isn't valid, but handling it politely makes you look mature in the moment.\\nTry not to take criticism personally. Sometimes, people may be trying to help and aren’t communicating well. If you think that’s the case, ask for clarification: “I heard you say that you didn’t like my essay. Could you tell me some more specifics so I can do better next time?”\\nSometimes, the criticism says much more about the person giving it than it does about you. If the criticism seems unfair or hurtful, remember that the other person may just be trying to make him or herself feel better by tearing you down. In some cases, they may even be reacting that way because they recognize something in you that they don't like about themselves.\\nAccepting criticism gracefully doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them in a calm and polite way: “I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but when you criticized my outfit it really hurt my feelings. Next time, could you not make comments about my appearance?”\\nDon't spend too much time criticizing yourself, either. If you notice something about yourself you'd like to change, work on it a little at a time. Keep in mind that any change is a process, so be patient if it doesn't happen overnight.\\nTips\\nWhen faced with a conflict with others, avoid arguing and instead, try to resolve it in a calm rational manner. If it does escalate to arguing, end it as quickly as possible.\\nMaturity is difficult to acquire. However, don't change who you are to become more mature. Instead, endeavor to be who you are and be that well. It is no longer a question of who is older and who is younger. If you want to be taken seriously by people around you, think and act on how you want to be heard just make sure that once you take the step; be firm about it, and make a stand on your choice. If something went wrong - do your best to keep your calm and think of the next step, don't put the blame on others, you took the action and you're responsible for it. Be matured, and be responsible.\\nBe kind, understanding and a friend to everyone! Don't be kind just for one day, but all the time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maturity is more than a matter of age. There are mature 6-year-olds and immature 80-year-olds. Maturity is a matter of how you treat yourself and others. It's how you think and behave. So if you're tired of all of the childish conversations and fighting around you, or you want people to have more respect for you, try some of these techniques to learn how to become more mature. No matter what age you are, when you are mature, you'll always be the grown-up in the room.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Mature Behaviors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your interests.\", \"描述\": \"Lacking dynamic or developed interests or hobbies might contribute to your seeming immature. Finding something that you enjoy doing and becoming an \\\"expert\\\" at it can make you seem more experienced and mature. It will also give you something to talk about with others, whether or not they also participate in your hobby.\\nTry to keep your hobbies active and productive. It’s a lot of fun to watch a TV show marathon, but it isn’t necessarily the best use of your time. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy movies, TV, and video games, but they shouldn’t be the only things you spend your time on.\\nHobbies can increase your self-esteem and boost your creativity. They can also stimulate parts of your brain that make you feel positive and happy.\\nThere’s basically no limit to the types of things you can do! Get a camera and learn photography. Pick up a musical instrument. Practice a new language. Learn to beatbox. Start a live-action roleplaying group. Just make sure that whatever you choose is something you enjoy doing, or it’ll become a chore rather than a hobby.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals\", \"描述\": \"Part of maturity is being able to assess your current strengths, determine areas that you need to improve, and set goals for the future. Keep the future in mind and let it inform the choices you are making about your life right now. Once you have set goals that are clear, actionable, and measurable, take action to work towards them.\\nSetting goals can seem overwhelming, but don’t worry! It just takes a little time and planning. Start by figuring out what really matters to you—what do you value, and what do you want to do next in your life? From there, you can figure out the steps you need to take to get where you want to be.\\nFirst you need to think about a few categories: Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.\\nWho. This is who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the primary person here. However, this category could also include a tutor, a volunteer coordinator, or a counselor.\\nWhat. What do you want to achieve? It’s important to be as specific as possible in this step. “Prepare for college” is way too big. You’ll never get started on a huge vague goal like that. Instead, choose a few specifics that will help you achieve that bigger goal, like “Do a volunteer activity” and “Participate in an extracurricular activity.”\\nWhen. This helps you know when specific parts of your plan have to be done. Knowing this will help keep you on track. For example, if you want to volunteer, you need to know if there’s a deadline to apply, when the activities are, and when you’ll be able to do them.\\nWhere. It’s often helpful to identify where you’ll be working on achieving this goal. For the volunteering example, you might choose to work at an animal shelter.\\nHow. In this step you identify how you’ll achieve each stage of your goal. For example, what is the process for contacting the shelter to volunteer? How will you get to the animal shelter? How will you balance your volunteering with your other responsibilities? You have to think about answers to these types of questions.\\nWhy. This is probably the most important part, believe it or not. You’re more likely to achieve a goal when it’s meaningful to you and you can see how it fits in the “big picture.” Figure out why this goal is important. For example, “I want to volunteer at the animal shelter so that I can make my resume more attractive for pre-vet college programs.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know when it is okay to be silly.\", \"描述\": \"You do not have to be serious all of the time in order to be mature. Real maturity is knowing your audience and figuring out when it’s appropriate to be silly and when it’s important to be serious. It’s good to have different levels of silly so you can scale your actions appropriately.\\nTry setting aside a part of your day that’s just for goofing off. You need time to blow off steam and get goofy. Give yourself a little time every day (say, after school) to indulge in wacky hijinks.\\nUnderstand that silliness usually isn’t appropriate in formal situations, such as school, church, at work, and especially at funerals. You’re expected to be paying attention, not pranking people. Being silly in these situations will usually communicate immaturity.\\nHowever, informal situations like hanging out with your friends, or even time with your family, can be a great time to get silly. It can even help you bond with each other.\\nEstablish some parameters for when it is okay and when it is not okay to play a joke or be silly. Don’t use mean-spirited or belittling humor or pranks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be respectful of others.\", \"描述\": \"We all have to live in the world together. If you do things to intentionally annoy others, or if you do whatever you want without keeping the feelings of others in mind, people may view you as immature. Trying to remember the needs and wants of other people around you will help you cultivate a reputation as a mature and respectful individual.\\nBeing respectful of others doesn’t mean you have to let them walk all over you. It does mean that you need to listen to others and treat them the way you’d like to be treated. If the other person is rude or unkind to you, don’t respond with unkindness of your own. Show that you’re the bigger person by walking away.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pick mature friends.\", \"描述\": \"Your friends will influence your behavior. Make sure that you're associating with people who will make you a better person, instead of spending time with people who only drag you down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Emotional Maturity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t be a bully.\", \"描述\": \"Bullying behavior often emerges from a sense of insecurity or poor self-esteem. It can be a way for people to try and assert their power over others. Bullying is bad for people who are bullied and for those who do the bullying. If you find yourself engaging in bullying behavior, talk to someone you trust, like a parent or school counselor, about how to stop.\\nBullying falls into three basic types: verbal, social, and physical.\\nVerbal bullying involves things like name-calling, threatening others, or making inappropriate comments. While words don’t cause physical harm, they can cause deep emotional wounds. Watch what you say, and don’t say something to someone that you wouldn’t want them to say to you.\\nSocial bullying involves doing damage to someone’s social reputation or relationships. Shunning others, spreading rumors, humiliating others, or gossiping are all types of social bullying.\\nPhysical bullying involves hurting someone (or someone’s things). Any physical violence, as well as taking or destroying someone’s stuff or making rude gestures, are forms of physical bullying.\\nDon’t allow bullying to happen when you’re around, either. While you don’t have to get physically involved with a bully -- in fact, that can be really unsafe -- there are plenty of ways for you to help create a bully-free environment. Try:\\nSetting a good example by not bullying others.\\nTelling bullies that their behavior isn’t funny or cool.\\nBeing nice to victims of bullying.\\nTelling responsible adults about bullying.\\n\\nIf you feel like you have a bullying problem, consider talking with a counselor or therapist. Maybe you have some deeper issues that are making you feel like you need to belittle or pick on others. A counselor can give you approaches to develop more positive relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossip, rumors, and talking about others behind their backs.\", \"描述\": \"Gossip, rumor-mongering, and backstabbing can hurt other people just as much as if you’d punched them in the face -- maybe even more. Even if you don’t mean gossip maliciously, it can still do damage. Mature people care about others’ needs and feelings and don’t do things that could cause hurt.\\nGossip won’t necessarily make you cool or popular, either. Studies have shown that gossip may make you seem cool when you’re in fifth grade, but by ninth grade (when you’re hopefully more mature) gossipers are generally seen as less likeable and less popular.\\nDon’t encourage gossip either. If someone tries to initiate gossip when you’re around, speak up: research shows that when even one person says “Hey, I’m not cool with gossiping about other people” it can really make a difference.\\nSometimes, you may say something nice about someone and it can end up translated by other people as gossip. For example, maybe you told a friend “I really like hanging out with Ziyi. She’s so funny!” and someone else told someone else that you said something mean. You can’t control how other people interpret or respond to what you say. The only thing you can control is what you say and do. Make sure that your words are kind.\\nA good test to determine whether something is gossip or rumor is to ask yourself: Would I want other people to hear or know this about me? If the answer is no, don’t share it with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be the bigger person if someone is unkind to you.\", \"描述\": \"If you can let it go, don't reply; your silence will communicate that what the person said was not okay. If you can't let it go, simply tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if there's no apology, just walk away.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep an open mind\", \"描述\": \"Mature people are open-minded. Just because you have never heard of or tried something, doesn't mean you should shut it out or dismiss the possibility. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for you to learn about something (or someone) new and different.\\nIf someone has a different belief or habit than you do, don’t judge it immediately. Instead, ask open questions, such as “Could you tell me more about this?” or “Why do you do that?”\\nTry to listen more than you talk, at least at first. Don’t interrupt people or say “But I think---” Let them talk. You’ll be surprised what you learn.\\nAsk for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn’t seem right, ask for clarification before you make a snap judgement. For example, if you think someone just insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say _______. Is that what you meant?” If the other person says s/he didn’t mean it that way, accept it.\\nDon’t expect the worst from people. Go into situations expecting that everyone else is human, just like you. They probably won’t try to be mean or hurtful, but they may also make mistakes. Learning to accept people just as they are will help you be more mature.\\nSometimes, you just won’t agree with someone else. That’s okay. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree -- that’s part of being mature.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have confidence in yourself\", \"描述\": \"Do not apologize for any quirks or oddities that you may have, even if others don’t approve. As long as your behaviors aren't antisocial and won’t cause anyone harm, you should feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't second-guess themselves or try to be something that they aren't.\\nDeveloping hobbies and skills you’re good at is a great way to build your self-confidence. You’ll learn that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and have a cool set of skills to share with others.\\nWatch out for that inner critic. If you notice negative thoughts about yourself, think about whether you’d say them to a friend. If you wouldn’t do it to a friend, why would you tear yourself down? Try rewording these negative thoughts into helpful ones.\\nFor example, you might think “I am such a loser! I suck at math and I’ll never get any better.” This isn’t a helpful thought, and it definitely isn’t something you’d tell a friend. Reword it in terms of what you can do about it: “I’m not great at math, but I can work hard. Even if I don’t make an A in the class, I’ll know I did my best.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be genuine.\", \"描述\": \"A mark of true maturity is being true to who you are. You can have self-confidence without acting arrogant or pompous. A mature person doesn’t have to tear others down or pretend to be something s/he’s not to feel good about him or herself.\\nTalk about things that truly interest you. When you care about something, it shows.\\nWhen you have negative thoughts about yourself, it can be tempting to go overboard denying them. For example, if the thought “I really am worried about this test next week” shows up, your first reaction might be to pretend “Nothing scares me!” This isn’t true to yourself. It’s more mature to admit when you’re feeling insecure or vulnerable. Everyone has moments when they don’t feel confident. That’s totally normal.\\nExpress your feelings clearly. Beating around the bush or being passive aggressive aren’t mature or genuine ways to deal with your feelings. Be polite and respectful, but don’t be afraid to say how you really feel.\\nDo what you think is right. Sometimes, other people may mock or criticise you for it. However, if you stick to your principles, you’ll know you’ve been true to yourself. If people don’t respect that, you don’t want their good opinion anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Accept personal responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Possibly the most important part of becoming a more mature person is accepting responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that things don’t simply happen to you. You are an agent in your own life, and your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others. Own up when you make mistakes. Recognize that you can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do.\\nAccept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do badly on an essay, don’t blame it on the teacher. Think about what actions you took to get you to that result. What can you do better next time?\\nFocus less on whether something is fair. Things will not always be fair in life. Sometimes, you may deserve something that you don’t get. Mature people will not allow unfairness to stand in the way of their accomplishments.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take control of what you can.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of anxiety comes from trying to control things that aren't necessarily yours to control. However, there are things you can control, and it's important to be aware of those and to work on what you can in order to improve those things. For example:\\nFor the job: You can polish and proofread your resume. You can prepare for the interview as well as you can. You can dress professionally when you interview for the job. You can show up on time. You may still end up not getting the job, but you will have done everything within your control.\\nFor relationships: You can be respectful, funny, and kind. You can be yourself around the other person. You can be vulnerable and tell him/her that you’d like to have a relationship. These are things you are in control of. Even if things don’t work out, you can rest easy knowing you stayed true to yourself and gave yourself the best shot.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t accept defeat.\", \"描述\": \"Most of the time, people give up because it’s easier than trying again. It’s much easier to say “I’m a loser” than it is to say “Well, that approach didn’t work out, let’s see what else I can do!” Accept responsibility for your choices and choose to keep on trying, no matter what.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Like an Adult\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Control your temper\", \"描述\": \"Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be tamed. Don't overreact to minor things that don't matter. When you feel yourself getting upset, stop and take 10 seconds to think about your response before you do or say anything. This will keep you from things you regret and will help you become a more mature communicator.\\nAfter you stop, ask yourself what’s really going on. What’s the real problem here? Why are you upset? You may find out that you’re really mad about something that happened two days ago, and actually not about having to clean your room.\\nThink of potential solutions to the problem. Run through a couple of ways you might react before you pick one. What will address what’s going on?\\nConsider the consequences. This is where a lot of people may stumble. “Doing what I want” is often the most attractive solution, but will it really fix the problem? Or will it make it worse? Think about what the result of each option is likely to be.\\nPick a solution. After you’ve considered the possible consequences of each option, pick the one that seems best for you. Note that this won’t always be the easiest or the most fun! That’s just part of becoming more mature.\\nIf you must say something, use a calm voice and give some reasonable arguments to justify how you're feeling. If the person just wants to argue and doesn't want to listen, walk away from the conflict. It's not worth it.\\nWhen you're enraged or about to overreact, take deep breaths and count to 10. You must maintain self-control and not let wrath get the better of you.\\nIf you have a temper, people may enjoy provoking you. When you control your temper, they will lose interest in making you angry and will start leaving you alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn assertive communication techniques.\", \"描述\": \"When adults want to communicate maturely, they use assertive techniques and behaviors. Assertiveness isn’t the same as cockiness, arrogance or aggression. Assertive individuals express their own feelings and needs clearly, and they listen when others do the same. Arrogant and selfish individuals don’t care about others’ needs and are focused on getting what they want, when they want it -- whether or not it makes others miserable. Learn to stand up for yourself without being arrogant or aggressive, and you’ll definitely feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate assertively:\\nUse “I”-statements. “You”-statements make other people feel blamed and shuts them down. Keeping the focus on what you’re feeling and experiencing keeps the way open for productive, mature communication.\\nFor example, instead of telling your parents “You never listen to me!” try using an “I”-statement like “I feel like my perspective hasn’t been heard.” When you say you “feel” a certain way, the other person is more likely to want to know why.\\nRecognize others’ needs too. Life isn’t all about you. It’s great to communicate your feelings and needs clearly, but remember to also ask others about theirs. Being able to put others first is a true sign of maturity.\\nDon’t jump to conclusions. If you aren’t sure what happened with someone, ask! Don’t prejudge -- remember, you don’t have all the information.\\nFor example, if your friend forgot that you were supposed to go shopping together, don’t assume that it’s because she doesn’t care or is a terrible person.\\nInstead, use an “I”-statement and follow it up with an invitation for her to express her feelings: “I felt really disappointed when you couldn’t make it shopping. What’s up?”\\n\\nOffer to collaborate with others. Instead of saying “I want to go skateboarding,” ask others for input: “What would everyone like to do?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid constant swearing\", \"描述\": \"Many people and cultures have expectations that mature communicators won’t curse or swear. Swearing can shock others, or even make them feel as though you’re disrespecting them. Swearing can also cause others to think that you’re incompetent or bad at communicating. Instead of swearing, try expanding your vocabulary. As you learn new words, use them to express yourself.\\nIf you frequently swear when you’re upset or when you hurt yourself, try making it a game to come up with creative exclamations instead. Instead of swearing when you stub your toe, it’s a lot funnier (and more impressive) to say something creative like “Fudge monkeys!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Speak politely\", \"描述\": \"If you raise your voice, especially when you are angry, you’re likely to make people uncomfortable. They may even decide to tune you out. Screaming is what toddlers do, not mature adults.\\nUse an even, calm tone of voice, even when you’re upset.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Your body can say as much as your words. For example, crossing your arms in front of you can tell others that you’re not interested in what they’re saying. Standing slouched over communicates that you’re not really “there” or you want to be somewhere else. Learn what your body is communicating, and make sure it’s what you want.\\nHold your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them in front of you.\\nStand up straight, with your chest out and head parallel to the floor.\\nRemember that your face communicates too. Don’t roll your eyes or stare at the floor.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Talk about mature topics with people.\", \"描述\": \"Examples of mature topics include school, the news, life experiences, and life lessons you have learned. Of course, you can take some time for being goofy with your friends. It’s all about considering your audience. You probably won’t talk about the same topics with your best friend as you do with your math teacher.\\nAsk questions. One of the signs of maturity is intellectual curiosity. If all you ever do is talk at someone, you won’t seem very mature. Ask others for their input. If someone says something interesting, say “Tell me more about that!”\\nDon’t pretend to know something you don’t. It can be hard to admit you don’t know something. After all, you really want to appear mature and informed. But pretending to know something only to have it come out that you don’t could make you look (and feel) foolish. It’s much better to say something like, “I haven’t read much about that. I’ll have to look into it!”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Say something nice.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all. Immature people constantly criticize things and point out flaws about other people, and they don't hesitate to say hurtful insults by all matters. Sometimes, they justify cruelty by stating that they're just \\\"being honest.\\\" Mature people choose their words carefully, and they don't hurt people's feelings in their quest to be \\\"honest,\\\" so remember to watch what you say, and don't say things that hurt other's feelings. Treat people the way that you want to be treated.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Learn to apologize sincerely for your mistakes\", \"描述\": \"No matter how conscientious you are, you're going to say the wrong thing or inadvertently hurt people from time to time. We all do stupid things once in a while, because nobody on earth is perfect. Learn to swallow your pride and say, \\\"I'm sorry.\\\" A genuine, honest apology when you've done something wrong demonstrates true maturity.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth, but be compassionate\", \"描述\": \"This is a really difficult skill to master, but thinking about whether you would want someone to say something to you can help you figure out what to say. In Buddhism, there’s a saying: “If you propose to speak, always ask yourself: is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” Consider it before speaking. Those around you will appreciate your honesty, and your compassion will show that you truly care about others.\\nFor example, if a friend asks you if her dress makes her look fat, consider what would be most helpful. Beauty is very subjective, so offering an opinion on her looks isn’t likely to be helpful. However, telling your friend that you love her and she looks just the way she is could be the confidence boost she needs.\\nIf you really think your friend’s outfit is not attractive, there are tactful ways to say this if you think it will be helpful. For example, “You know, I like the red dress better than this one” doesn’t judge your friend’s body -- nobody needs that -- but it does answer her question of whether she looks her best.\\nBehavioral scientists suggest that some types of dishonesty are actually “pro-social,” little lies you tell to help others avoid embarrassment or hurt. It’s up to you to decide whether this is something you want to do. Whatever you decide, choose to be kind in doing it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Courteous\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use good manners when you interact with people.\", \"描述\": \"Shake hands with a solid, firm grip, and look right into that person's eyes. If your culture has a different way to greet others, use that form in an appropriate and polite way. When you meet someone new, make a good effort to remember the person's name by repeating it: “Nice to meet you, Wendy.” Good manners communicate that you respect the other person, which is the behavior of a mature person.\\nThroughout any conversation, listen carefully and maintain eye contact. Don’t stare at the other person, though. Use the 50/70 rule: make eye contact for 50% of the time when you’re talking, and 70% of the time while the other person is talking.\\nAvoid fidgeting or fiddling with random objects. Fidgeting is a sign that you lack confidence. Keep your hands open and relaxed.\\nDon't sit there thinking about places you'd rather be. Most people are very good at noticing when you don’t care about an interaction, and it will hurt their feelings.\\nDon't talk on your cell phone or text people while you should be paying attention to the person in front of you. This communicates disrespect.\\nWhen you enter a new situation or new community, keep quiet for awhile and notice how other people are acting. It's not your job to tell other people what they should or shouldn't do. Instead, watch and be respectful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Observe good online etiquette.\", \"描述\": \"Using good online etiquette shows that you respect your friends, family and other people that are hanging out with you online. It’s a sign of maturity. Keep in mind that a lot of what you say online can also be seen by people like potential employers, teachers, and others, so don’t say things that would embarrass or hurt you.\\nAvoid strong or offensive language. Don’t overuse exclamation points. Remember that you aren’t there in person to clarify your point, so make sure not to overwhelm your audience.\\nUse your shift key. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginnings of sentences instead of writing in all lower-case letters. Avoid using nonstandard cApitaliZaTion. It makes your writing much harder to read.\\nAvoid using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. This is the internet equivalent of shouting. This may be okay if you’re posting a tweet about how your hockey team just won the championship, but it’s not a good idea in daily emails and social media posts.\\nWhen sending an email, use a salutation (the “Dear” in “Dear John”). Starting an email without one is rude, particularly if it’s to someone you don’t know well or to someone like a teacher. Also use a closing, such as “Thank you” or “Sincerely.”\\nProofread before you send an e-mail or make a social media post to make sure you didn't make a mistake. Use complete sentences, and be sure to add proper punctuation at the end of each sentence.\\nGo easy on abbreviations, slang and emoticons. It's okay to use these in a casual text to a friend, but don't use them in an e-mail to your teacher, or in another situation where you want to look mature.\\nRemember the golden rule online, just like the golden rule in real life. If you want someone to be nice to you, be nice to them too. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be helpful.\", \"描述\": \"Hold doors, help pick things up, and offer assistance to anyone who needs it. Consider being helpful in your community as well, like being a mentor to a younger student, tutoring, or working at an animal shelter. When you make others happy, you’re more likely to feel happy yourself. Serving others rather than just yourself is a very mature behavior.\\nHelpful acts may also boost your self-esteem. Studies have shown that when we help others, we get a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we’ve done.\\nBeing helpful isn’t always a two-way street. There may be times when you help others and they don’t say “thank you” or offer to help in return. That’s on them. Remember that you’re being helpful for you, not to get anything from anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid trying to be the center of attention all the time.\", \"描述\": \"When you constantly take over conversations and talk about yourself all of the time instead of giving other people a chance to talk, it shows disrespect and immaturity. Showing a genuine interest in the interests and experiences of others can make you seem more mature and less self-centered. You might also learn something new or develop a new respect for someone based on what you hear.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept both compliments and criticism with maturity.\", \"描述\": \"If somebody compliments you, say \\\"thank you\\\" and leave it at that. If someone criticizes you, be polite and say something \\\"Okay, I'll definitely think it over.\\\" Maybe the criticism isn't valid, but handling it politely makes you look mature in the moment.\\nTry not to take criticism personally. Sometimes, people may be trying to help and aren’t communicating well. If you think that’s the case, ask for clarification: “I heard you say that you didn’t like my essay. Could you tell me some more specifics so I can do better next time?”\\nSometimes, the criticism says much more about the person giving it than it does about you. If the criticism seems unfair or hurtful, remember that the other person may just be trying to make him or herself feel better by tearing you down. In some cases, they may even be reacting that way because they recognize something in you that they don't like about themselves.\\nAccepting criticism gracefully doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them in a calm and polite way: “I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but when you criticized my outfit it really hurt my feelings. Next time, could you not make comments about my appearance?”\\nDon't spend too much time criticizing yourself, either. If you notice something about yourself you'd like to change, work on it a little at a time. Keep in mind that any change is a process, so be patient if it doesn't happen overnight.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When faced with a conflict with others, avoid arguing and instead, try to resolve it in a calm rational manner. If it does escalate to arguing, end it as quickly as possible.\\n\", \"Maturity is difficult to acquire. However, don't change who you are to become more mature. Instead, endeavor to be who you are and be that well. It is no longer a question of who is older and who is younger. If you want to be taken seriously by people around you, think and act on how you want to be heard just make sure that once you take the step; be firm about it, and make a stand on your choice. If something went wrong - do your best to keep your calm and think of the next step, don't put the blame on others, you took the action and you're responsible for it. Be matured, and be responsible.\\n\", \"Be kind, understanding and a friend to everyone! Don't be kind just for one day, but all the time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,918 | How to Be Mature in Middle School | 1. Having the Right Attitude
1-1. Be yourself.
Many middle schoolers become self-conscious and insecure about things that make them different. But as long as your behaviors aren't harming anyone, you should feel free to express your individuality.
Classmates may try to tease you about quirky clothing or unusual hobbies you like. Don’t let it get to you! If you learn to be confident in the things you like, it’s much harder to tease you about them.
1-2. Be confident.
This is one of the most important components of becoming a more mature person. Work on developing self-esteem — love and accept yourself for who you are.
Think confidently. Write down some of your talents and good attributes. Reflect on what your friends like about you. Think of activities you enjoy doing and how you contribute. Take a moment to feel good about these qualities!
Write down the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. What are some bad thoughts you tend to have about yourself? Are they really logical? Are they a good reason to feel bad about yourself? It’s OK to want to work on certain things about yourself. You can still feel like a worthwhile, cool person at the same time.
Look the part. Dress neatly each day, but don't be afraid to embrace your own style.
1-3. Accept personal responsibility.
Recognize that while you can’t control what others may do, you are in control over your own actions and attitude. Understand things don’t simply happen to you. Your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others.
Accept responsibility when things go wrong. If you failed an exam, don’t blame your teacher. Sure, maybe they could have done some things better. But what actions could you have taken to get a better result?
Try not to focus on things seem fair. Life isn’t always fair. Try to stay positive!
1-4. Be respectful of others.
If you are intentionally annoying or inconsiderate of others’ feelings, people will view you as immature. Remember the needs and wants of other people around you.
Are you prone to loud outbursts? Do you publicly embarrass other people? Try to recognize ways in which you may be unintentionally annoying others.
1-5. Control your temper.
Keep your emotions in check and try not to overreact to minor things. When you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to think about your response before you do or say anything.
Reflect on what tends to make you angry. Maybe it’s a certain classmate with annoying habits. Try to think of a way to handle the situation without getting angry.
1-6. Keep your composure.
It’s common for teenagers to publicly tease and embarrass each other. Remember that you’re in charge of your own reactions. It’s easier said than done, but try to maintain a sense of humor about yourself. Laughing at yourself allows others to laugh with you rather than at you. It also projects confidence.
Even if you don’t find something funny, focus on not letting it upset you.
People forget embarrassing incidents much faster than you’d think. Don’t worry about something haunting you forever. It’s unlikely to shape how people think of you if you don’t let it bother you.
1-7. Learn to accept criticism.
Whether it’s schoolwork or a personal project, it can be hard to receive criticism on something you’ve worked hard on. But it’s an important step toward becoming a more productive, mature individual. Keep in mind that it’s not personal. Try not to get defensive or upset.
Imagine a friend tells you a poem you wrote is a little too intense. It’s supposed to be intense, you might think. It’s upsetting that she’s not appreciating something you worked hard on. But take a step back. Try to understand where she’s coming from. Ask for more details.
Being mature is something that is internal, not external. If you're having an issue, don't be afraid to reach out for help.
2. Developing Healthy Habits
2-1. Set goals
Write down some of your current strengths and areas that you’d like to improve. Which of these are most important to you? Which are the most important for your future? Use these to construct clear goals for yourself. Once you have set goals, think of actions you can take to make them a reality.
2-2. Manage your time effectively.
Developing good time management skills can help you reduce anxiety, make better decisions, and improve your performance. If you’re overwhelmed with homework, try making a plan before you get to work. List your tasks in order of importance. Which ones make the most sense to tackle first?
Minimize distractions around you! Try being disciplined about putting your phone away and not checking social media. Creating good habits now will help you a lot in the long run.
It can be helpful to work for 50 minutes, followed by a 10 minute break. Try coming up with a routine that works for you.
Always be prepared for class. That will show your teachers and classmates that you are mature.
2-3. Develop good study habits.
Many students don’t realize how much good habits can contribute to their success. Taking notes, making mind maps and researching independently are a few ways to make the most of the time you spend studying. Sometimes the answer is working smarter, rather than harder.
2-4. Start your day right.
Many teens have trouble with stressful, rushed mornings becoming a regular occurrence. You can help things go smoothly by planning ahead. Pick out your outfit, accessories and any make-up the night before. Pack your bag with all your essentials. Now when you wake up in the morning, you’ll know exactly what you have to do.
2-5. Choose your friends wisely.
Your friends can impact how you feel and act, so it's important to choose them wisely. Take care to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Seek out people who offer emotional support and guidance. Consider if your relationships have a good balance of give and take. Most important, develop friendships with people you truly trust and respect.
3. Communicating Maturely
3-1. Be assertive.
It’s important to be able to express your feelings and needs clearly, but without being cocky or arrogant. It’s also important to listen when others do the same. Practice communicating maturely, and you’re likely to feel more mature.
3-2. Get comfortable speaking with strangers.
It’s easy to feel intimidated in social situations when you’re surrounded by people you don’t know. Remember, you are an interesting and cool person with worthwhile opinions and thoughts. There’s no reason not to join in the conversation. If you overhear something interesting, feel free to jump in with a question. This allows you to enter the conversation without derailing it.
3-3. Avoid drama.
You will inevitably encounter some hostility in middle school. Middle school drama is usually rooted in poor communication, unhealthy habits, and insecurities. You'll save yourself much trouble by learning to deal with negative situations in more mature ways.
It’s hard to pick a fight with someone who doesn’t want to fight. When someone gets upset with you, do your best not to get upset as well. Communicate with them instead, and try to come up with a resolution.
3-4. Be direct.
If you find yourself in a negative situation, avoid the temptation to tell everyone you know how upset you are. Go straight to the source and attempt to talk to the person you’re having an issue with.
Even when you or the other person is truly upset, it doesn’t have to be a hostile conversation. Calmly and clearly express why you're upset, then hear the other person out. You'll be amazed at the results. See this as an opportunity to work on your conflict resolution skills.
3-5. Don’t fight over text.
When someone texts or IMs something you disagree with, it can be tempting to argue with them. Some people are habitual text-fighters and may try to provoke you. Don’t engage! Whenever possible, explain you’d rather discuss speaking in person or over the phone.
3-6. Avoid gossiping too much.
In small doses, gossiping can be OK. But frequent gossipers tend to be less liked and less healthy. And even if you don’t do it maliciously, gossiping can do real damage. If your friends are always going on about people they dislike, try subtly changing the subject. Eventually, your friends will understand you’re not into talking about people behind their back. In time, they'll respect you more for it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:16",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having the Right Attitude\\n1-1. Be yourself.\\nMany middle schoolers become self-conscious and insecure about things that make them different. But as long as your behaviors aren't harming anyone, you should feel free to express your individuality.\\nClassmates may try to tease you about quirky clothing or unusual hobbies you like. Don’t let it get to you! If you learn to be confident in the things you like, it’s much harder to tease you about them.\\n1-2. Be confident.\\nThis is one of the most important components of becoming a more mature person. Work on developing self-esteem — love and accept yourself for who you are.\\nThink confidently. Write down some of your talents and good attributes. Reflect on what your friends like about you. Think of activities you enjoy doing and how you contribute. Take a moment to feel good about these qualities!\\nWrite down the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. What are some bad thoughts you tend to have about yourself? Are they really logical? Are they a good reason to feel bad about yourself? It’s OK to want to work on certain things about yourself. You can still feel like a worthwhile, cool person at the same time.\\nLook the part. Dress neatly each day, but don't be afraid to embrace your own style.\\n1-3. Accept personal responsibility.\\nRecognize that while you can’t control what others may do, you are in control over your own actions and attitude. Understand things don’t simply happen to you. Your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others.\\nAccept responsibility when things go wrong. If you failed an exam, don’t blame your teacher. Sure, maybe they could have done some things better. But what actions could you have taken to get a better result?\\nTry not to focus on things seem fair. Life isn’t always fair. Try to stay positive!\\n1-4. Be respectful of others.\\nIf you are intentionally annoying or inconsiderate of others’ feelings, people will view you as immature. Remember the needs and wants of other people around you.\\nAre you prone to loud outbursts? Do you publicly embarrass other people? Try to recognize ways in which you may be unintentionally annoying others.\\n1-5. Control your temper.\\nKeep your emotions in check and try not to overreact to minor things. When you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to think about your response before you do or say anything.\\nReflect on what tends to make you angry. Maybe it’s a certain classmate with annoying habits. Try to think of a way to handle the situation without getting angry.\\n1-6. Keep your composure.\\nIt’s common for teenagers to publicly tease and embarrass each other. Remember that you’re in charge of your own reactions. It’s easier said than done, but try to maintain a sense of humor about yourself. Laughing at yourself allows others to laugh with you rather than at you. It also projects confidence.\\nEven if you don’t find something funny, focus on not letting it upset you.\\nPeople forget embarrassing incidents much faster than you’d think. Don’t worry about something haunting you forever. It’s unlikely to shape how people think of you if you don’t let it bother you.\\n1-7. Learn to accept criticism.\\nWhether it’s schoolwork or a personal project, it can be hard to receive criticism on something you’ve worked hard on. But it’s an important step toward becoming a more productive, mature individual. Keep in mind that it’s not personal. Try not to get defensive or upset.\\nImagine a friend tells you a poem you wrote is a little too intense. It’s supposed to be intense, you might think. It’s upsetting that she’s not appreciating something you worked hard on. But take a step back. Try to understand where she’s coming from. Ask for more details.\\nBeing mature is something that is internal, not external. If you're having an issue, don't be afraid to reach out for help.\\n2. Developing Healthy Habits\\n2-1. Set goals\\nWrite down some of your current strengths and areas that you’d like to improve. Which of these are most important to you? Which are the most important for your future? Use these to construct clear goals for yourself. Once you have set goals, think of actions you can take to make them a reality.\\n2-2. Manage your time effectively.\\nDeveloping good time management skills can help you reduce anxiety, make better decisions, and improve your performance. If you’re overwhelmed with homework, try making a plan before you get to work. List your tasks in order of importance. Which ones make the most sense to tackle first?\\nMinimize distractions around you! Try being disciplined about putting your phone away and not checking social media. Creating good habits now will help you a lot in the long run.\\nIt can be helpful to work for 50 minutes, followed by a 10 minute break. Try coming up with a routine that works for you.\\nAlways be prepared for class. That will show your teachers and classmates that you are mature.\\n2-3. Develop good study habits.\\nMany students don’t realize how much good habits can contribute to their success. Taking notes, making mind maps and researching independently are a few ways to make the most of the time you spend studying. Sometimes the answer is working smarter, rather than harder.\\n2-4. Start your day right.\\nMany teens have trouble with stressful, rushed mornings becoming a regular occurrence. You can help things go smoothly by planning ahead. Pick out your outfit, accessories and any make-up the night before. Pack your bag with all your essentials. Now when you wake up in the morning, you’ll know exactly what you have to do.\\n2-5. Choose your friends wisely.\\nYour friends can impact how you feel and act, so it's important to choose them wisely. Take care to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Seek out people who offer emotional support and guidance. Consider if your relationships have a good balance of give and take. Most important, develop friendships with people you truly trust and respect.\\n3. Communicating Maturely\\n3-1. Be assertive.\\nIt’s important to be able to express your feelings and needs clearly, but without being cocky or arrogant. It’s also important to listen when others do the same. Practice communicating maturely, and you’re likely to feel more mature.\\n3-2. Get comfortable speaking with strangers.\\nIt’s easy to feel intimidated in social situations when you’re surrounded by people you don’t know. Remember, you are an interesting and cool person with worthwhile opinions and thoughts. There’s no reason not to join in the conversation. If you overhear something interesting, feel free to jump in with a question. This allows you to enter the conversation without derailing it.\\n3-3. Avoid drama.\\nYou will inevitably encounter some hostility in middle school. Middle school drama is usually rooted in poor communication, unhealthy habits, and insecurities. You'll save yourself much trouble by learning to deal with negative situations in more mature ways.\\nIt’s hard to pick a fight with someone who doesn’t want to fight. When someone gets upset with you, do your best not to get upset as well. Communicate with them instead, and try to come up with a resolution.\\n3-4. Be direct.\\nIf you find yourself in a negative situation, avoid the temptation to tell everyone you know how upset you are. Go straight to the source and attempt to talk to the person you’re having an issue with.\\nEven when you or the other person is truly upset, it doesn’t have to be a hostile conversation. Calmly and clearly express why you're upset, then hear the other person out. You'll be amazed at the results. See this as an opportunity to work on your conflict resolution skills.\\n3-5. Don’t fight over text.\\nWhen someone texts or IMs something you disagree with, it can be tempting to argue with them. Some people are habitual text-fighters and may try to provoke you. Don’t engage! Whenever possible, explain you’d rather discuss speaking in person or over the phone.\\n3-6. Avoid gossiping too much.\\nIn small doses, gossiping can be OK. But frequent gossipers tend to be less liked and less healthy. And even if you don’t do it maliciously, gossiping can do real damage. If your friends are always going on about people they dislike, try subtly changing the subject. Eventually, your friends will understand you’re not into talking about people behind their back. In time, they'll respect you more for it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Middle school means more responsibility and more independence. This is a great opportunity to take positive steps toward becoming a mature person. Being proactive about your attitude and habits can help you make sure you’re headed in the right direction.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having the Right Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Many middle schoolers become self-conscious and insecure about things that make them different. But as long as your behaviors aren't harming anyone, you should feel free to express your individuality.\\nClassmates may try to tease you about quirky clothing or unusual hobbies you like. Don’t let it get to you! If you learn to be confident in the things you like, it’s much harder to tease you about them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"This is one of the most important components of becoming a more mature person. Work on developing self-esteem — love and accept yourself for who you are.\\nThink confidently. Write down some of your talents and good attributes. Reflect on what your friends like about you. Think of activities you enjoy doing and how you contribute. Take a moment to feel good about these qualities!\\nWrite down the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. What are some bad thoughts you tend to have about yourself? Are they really logical? Are they a good reason to feel bad about yourself? It’s OK to want to work on certain things about yourself. You can still feel like a worthwhile, cool person at the same time.\\nLook the part. Dress neatly each day, but don't be afraid to embrace your own style.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept personal responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize that while you can’t control what others may do, you are in control over your own actions and attitude. Understand things don’t simply happen to you. Your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and others.\\nAccept responsibility when things go wrong. If you failed an exam, don’t blame your teacher. Sure, maybe they could have done some things better. But what actions could you have taken to get a better result?\\nTry not to focus on things seem fair. Life isn’t always fair. Try to stay positive!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be respectful of others.\", \"描述\": \"If you are intentionally annoying or inconsiderate of others’ feelings, people will view you as immature. Remember the needs and wants of other people around you.\\nAre you prone to loud outbursts? Do you publicly embarrass other people? Try to recognize ways in which you may be unintentionally annoying others.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Control your temper.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your emotions in check and try not to overreact to minor things. When you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to think about your response before you do or say anything.\\nReflect on what tends to make you angry. Maybe it’s a certain classmate with annoying habits. Try to think of a way to handle the situation without getting angry.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your composure.\", \"描述\": \"It’s common for teenagers to publicly tease and embarrass each other. Remember that you’re in charge of your own reactions. It’s easier said than done, but try to maintain a sense of humor about yourself. Laughing at yourself allows others to laugh with you rather than at you. It also projects confidence.\\nEven if you don’t find something funny, focus on not letting it upset you.\\nPeople forget embarrassing incidents much faster than you’d think. Don’t worry about something haunting you forever. It’s unlikely to shape how people think of you if you don’t let it bother you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Learn to accept criticism.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s schoolwork or a personal project, it can be hard to receive criticism on something you’ve worked hard on. But it’s an important step toward becoming a more productive, mature individual. Keep in mind that it’s not personal. Try not to get defensive or upset.\\nImagine a friend tells you a poem you wrote is a little too intense. It’s supposed to be intense, you might think. It’s upsetting that she’s not appreciating something you worked hard on. But take a step back. Try to understand where she’s coming from. Ask for more details.\\nBeing mature is something that is internal, not external. If you're having an issue, don't be afraid to reach out for help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Healthy Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set goals\", \"描述\": \"Write down some of your current strengths and areas that you’d like to improve. Which of these are most important to you? Which are the most important for your future? Use these to construct clear goals for yourself. Once you have set goals, think of actions you can take to make them a reality.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Manage your time effectively.\", \"描述\": \"Developing good time management skills can help you reduce anxiety, make better decisions, and improve your performance. If you’re overwhelmed with homework, try making a plan before you get to work. List your tasks in order of importance. Which ones make the most sense to tackle first?\\nMinimize distractions around you! Try being disciplined about putting your phone away and not checking social media. Creating good habits now will help you a lot in the long run.\\nIt can be helpful to work for 50 minutes, followed by a 10 minute break. Try coming up with a routine that works for you.\\nAlways be prepared for class. That will show your teachers and classmates that you are mature.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop good study habits.\", \"描述\": \"Many students don’t realize how much good habits can contribute to their success. Taking notes, making mind maps and researching independently are a few ways to make the most of the time you spend studying. Sometimes the answer is working smarter, rather than harder.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start your day right.\", \"描述\": \"Many teens have trouble with stressful, rushed mornings becoming a regular occurrence. You can help things go smoothly by planning ahead. Pick out your outfit, accessories and any make-up the night before. Pack your bag with all your essentials. Now when you wake up in the morning, you’ll know exactly what you have to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Choose your friends wisely.\", \"描述\": \"Your friends can impact how you feel and act, so it's important to choose them wisely. Take care to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Seek out people who offer emotional support and guidance. Consider if your relationships have a good balance of give and take. Most important, develop friendships with people you truly trust and respect.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating Maturely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be assertive.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to be able to express your feelings and needs clearly, but without being cocky or arrogant. It’s also important to listen when others do the same. Practice communicating maturely, and you’re likely to feel more mature.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get comfortable speaking with strangers.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to feel intimidated in social situations when you’re surrounded by people you don’t know. Remember, you are an interesting and cool person with worthwhile opinions and thoughts. There’s no reason not to join in the conversation. If you overhear something interesting, feel free to jump in with a question. This allows you to enter the conversation without derailing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid drama.\", \"描述\": \"You will inevitably encounter some hostility in middle school. Middle school drama is usually rooted in poor communication, unhealthy habits, and insecurities. You'll save yourself much trouble by learning to deal with negative situations in more mature ways.\\nIt’s hard to pick a fight with someone who doesn’t want to fight. When someone gets upset with you, do your best not to get upset as well. Communicate with them instead, and try to come up with a resolution.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be direct.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself in a negative situation, avoid the temptation to tell everyone you know how upset you are. Go straight to the source and attempt to talk to the person you’re having an issue with.\\nEven when you or the other person is truly upset, it doesn’t have to be a hostile conversation. Calmly and clearly express why you're upset, then hear the other person out. You'll be amazed at the results. See this as an opportunity to work on your conflict resolution skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t fight over text.\", \"描述\": \"When someone texts or IMs something you disagree with, it can be tempting to argue with them. Some people are habitual text-fighters and may try to provoke you. Don’t engage! Whenever possible, explain you’d rather discuss speaking in person or over the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossiping too much.\", \"描述\": \"In small doses, gossiping can be OK. But frequent gossipers tend to be less liked and less healthy. And even if you don’t do it maliciously, gossiping can do real damage. If your friends are always going on about people they dislike, try subtly changing the subject. Eventually, your friends will understand you’re not into talking about people behind their back. In time, they'll respect you more for it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,919 | How to Be Mean and Intimidating when Necessary | 1. Knowing When to Act
1-1. Know when you should stand up for yourself.
The first thing you've got to know is when you should be intimidating and mean. You can't do it all the time or it will lose its value -- and you will lose friends. But if someone has been putting you down, making you feel small, or just not giving you your due, it may be time to turn up the mean/intimidating factor. If you feel like there is a person or people in your life who are constantly treating you with disrespect and that you've tried being nice and it just hasn't worked, it may be time to explore your mean side.
If you repeatedly feel disrespected or overlooked, it may be time to act. Being Mr. Nice Guy or Ms. Nice Girl won't always work in your favor, unfortunately.
Look for cues that you are uncomfortable. Is your body tense? Are you sweating? Are you feeling anxious, angry, frustrated or fearful? Then, you have to make a choice to help you feel more in control, rather than being taken advantage of.
Make sure to take some deep breaths to calm and compose yourself before acting.
1-2. Make sure that your motives are pure.
You shouldn't just be mean and intimidating to hurt someone's feelings, to show off, or just to make yourself feel better. If this is what you want, then you may end up just being mean and intimidating all the time. You should only do it if you feel like you really haven't been heard and need to stand your ground, or if there is a person or people in your life who are just walking all over you and not taking you seriously. Remember that you want to use your powers for good, not evil.
And this is not to say that fighting fire with fire always works -- if someone is being mean to you, then the solution doesn't have to be to be mean back. But if you've tried everything else, then it may be time to assert yourself.
1-3. Don't do it too much.
If you're on this page, then chances are that you've found yourself in a dire situation where you feel like you have no other options but to be a bit threatening. If this is the case, then that's fine, but you shouldn't try to make this your new permanent persona. Pick and choose your battles, and don't get in the habit of being mean and intimidating toward too many people or your new personality just might stick.
Make sure to watch yourself. If it feels a little too good to be mean and intimidating, then it's time to back off.
1-4. Make sure you don't change completely.
There are many tricks to acting mean and intimidating and you can definitely adopt some of them. However, you don't want to have a complete transformation where your original personality has completely fallen by the wayside. If you're acting nothing at all like yourself around people who know you, then they may think you're putting on an act and they may even find you amusing. Find a way to integrate elements of meanness and intimidation into your real personality.
You don't want to overdo it. If you're normally shy and meek and start acting like a bouncer at the hottest club in Manhattan, people may be on to you.
2. Adopting the Attitude
2-1. Don't be afraid to say no.
People who are mean and intimidating do not give in to other people or let them walk all over them. You have to be ready to assert yourself and to say no to people who dump too much work on you, ask you for ridiculous favors, or just put more pressure on you than you're comfortable with. People who are truly intimidating are more interested in getting people to do what they want than in giving in to the needs of others.
If something seems ridiculous or un-doable to you, then say so. This is the new you, remember?
It's a matter of getting the respect that you deserve. People won't respect you if they know you'll say yes to anything they want you to do.
2-2. Don't settle for less than you deserve.
If you want to get the right attitude, then you have to remember that you deserve the things that you want, and that you don't have to spend your life settling for the second rate. You could want to move up in the career ladder, or for some annoying people to give you some space at school. Whatever you want, write it down, and see that you really deserve nothing but the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You have to really know what you want to know if you're settling. Take some time to think about what you want out of life -- and what you hope to achieve by being mean and intimidating.
2-3. Be okay with doing your own thing.
People who are mean and intimidating have their own ideas about how life should be lived, and they do not give in or conform to others' notions of success or the right thing to do. This doesn't mean that you should set your house on fire, but it does mean that you should stay true to your beliefs and not care too much about what anyone thinks. If you want to go to a concert but no one else likes the band, go by yourself. If you walk into a classroom and don't know anyone there and don't feel like being social, take a seat and do what you want.
Stop the desperation of trying to look like you fit in and stop surrounding yourself with people you don't really care about just so you look cooler.
2-4. See the world as your oyster.
Stop thinking about what the world hasn't given you or what it has kept you from doing and think of it as something you can embrace and maybe even conquer. When you walk into a room, don't retreat into yourself, worrying that you won't act the right way or that you won't know anybody there; instead, think of the awesome time you're going to have because the whole night is within your control.
It's a matter of attitude. If you think that a million good things can happen to you and are excited to start getting what you want, it's much more likely to happen than if you crawl into a fetal position in the corner and cry, "Nothing good ever happens to me…"
2-5. Let your validation come from within.
Don't wait for other people to tell you how amazing you are, how good you look, or how much you're worth. Though it's nice to get some praise and accolades, none of that will mean a thing if you think you're a worthless person with nothing going for you. Instead, take a step back to take stock of how awesome you are, and let people see that you're so comfortable with yourself that you don't care what they think of you -- now that's intimidating.
This doesn't mean that you have to think you're perfect. It does mean that you have to realize that you're a worthy person, flaws and all.
2-6. Have a clear sense of what you want.
Another way to intimidate people and to even seem a bit mean, is to know exactly what you're after. It could be that you want to pass through the halls without talking to anyone who is bringing you down; it could mean that you know you want to graduate college in three years. Whatever you want, you have to have a firm vision of the future you want to achieve, so firm that anyone in your orbit can think, "Wow, there's no stopping them."
Look straight ahead instead of down at the floor. Let people see that you're always looking toward the future.
2-7. Have firm opinions.
People who are mean or intimidating don't go around asking others what they think they should do or constantly questioning everything they believe. Though you can of course question your beliefs to find the right answer, you should avoid coming off as a person who is insecure and always turning to others for answers. You should not only be able to state how you feel about certain issues or situations, but you should have concrete evidence to back it up.
Though everyone is entitled to their opinion, you should not go around spouting off ill-founded, hurtful, or just annoying opinions; this will not make people respect you. Have firm beliefs, but make sure they are founded in reality.
2-8. Have control.
People who are mean and intimidating have control over their emotions, their bodies, and their words. Speak in a calm and measured way and don't look like you're about to explode if you find yourself in a difficult social situation. If you find yourself getting heated or raising your voice, then back away and say that you need a breather. If you want people to be intimidated by you, then you want them to think, "Wow, they really meant business when they said that…"
If you want to sound like you have conviction and want to be taken seriously, then you have to have control over your words and emotions.
2-9. Exude confidence.
You can't be mean or intimidating to a house plant if you don't have the confidence to back it up. You've got to act and look like you love who you are, like you know where you're going, and like you know what you're doing. Speak with conviction, make eye contact, have good posture, and don't fidget or look around too much or you'll look unsure of yourself. You shouldn't be arrogant and flawless, but if you show too much weakness, then no one will be able to take you seriously.
Fake it until you make it. If you have the body language and voice control down, you'll be much more likely to feel confident.
3. Taking Action
3-1. Stand your ground.
No matter what, don't back down. Even if someone says something that makes your opinion look like trash, keep backing up what you think and saying exactly what you think. Don't go, "Yeah, I guess you're right, man. I stink," or that kind of thing. Keep going. Even if you lose, it'll show people you won't back down and that you stand up for what you believe in. Just make sure you don't give the impression that you are too stubborn to hang around.
3-2. Be reserved.
This can be accomplished through controlled use of facial expressions and verbal language. Remain polite in your manner, but at the same time don't give too much away about yourself. You might find that it helps to keep conversations brief and matter of fact, without going into personal details. This will create a sense of mystery and uncertainty for others, when it comes to your interactions with them.
Also remember not to appear afraid or intimidated -- as otherwise this will ruin the desired effect.
3-3. Portray a lack of positive emotions.
This includes avoiding behavior such as laughing, joking, and smiling - even if normally these are typical attitudes you show others. If you find this difficult, aim to be as generally emotionless as you can -- within the specific situation you're trying to appear mean/intimidating in -- might help with this. However, expressing negative emotions such as anger bursts or irritability is acceptable -- as these will likely lead to intimidating the person/people on the receiving end.
3-4. Use an appropriate tone of voice when speaking.
Make sure that you sound confident, tough, and sure of yourself. Don't talk so quietly people can't hear you. Talk just a little bit louder than usual, to make sure you're heard. It'll silence people, too. Don't say anything to provoke an argument or that might get you in trouble, but make sure you say what you think in a slightly more tough than usual kind of way.
You can always tape record yourself at home to see how you really come off.
3-5. Be blunt in expressing your opinions of others.
If it happens that someone has made a bad decision or doesn't look good in some way, plunge ahead and be honest about it with them -- but without being tactful as you won't give the impression of being mean if you do so. You'll likely achieve the effect you're after even better if you use a manner when making your comments.
This is a great way of showing that you don't care what other people think, which is an intimidating trait.
3-6. Walk into a room like you own it.
People who are mean and intimidating know what they're after and walk into a room like it is all theirs. It's just a vibe they give off that says, "Get out of the way!" This definitely scares people a bit and makes them think, "There's a person who knows where they're going." If you want to be mean and intimidating, then you can't walk into a room like you don't know where you're going or when you'll get there. Act firm and assert your dominance and do it as soon as you can.
Don't look around nervously for someone to talk to. If you look like you know where you're going, you'll immediately intimidate people.
3-7. Don't laugh too much.
Though even the meanest and most intimidating people have a softer side, you won't be making too many people cower if you're cracking up every two seconds. Humor is great for relieving stress and helping you connect with people, but if you find yourself around someone you want to intimidate, then the less jokes, the better. You can't let them think you're easygoing, fun to be around, or too relaxed, or they may take advantage of you.
Of course, if you're just hanging out with a bunch of people who you don't want to be mean to, then laugh all you want!
3-8. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.
You don't have to brag to intimidate people or to be mean to them. If you talk about how amazing you are at soccer/school/starting your own company, then people will be less likely to respect you or to be intimidated by you than if they learned about this on their own. If you're really so great, then people will probably figure it out pretty quickly; if you have to tell them, they won't care that much.
Don't be so invested in bragging and showing people how awesome you are in an attempt to scare people off. This will make you seem like you're desperate for approval, which is the opposite of being mean or intimidating.
3-9. Don't suck up.
Don't flatter people when you don't mean it, beg for approval, or just act like a general suck-up. This behavior will make people think that you get all of your validation from other people and that you don't really know what you want, or that you don't think that you can get there on your own. Yeah, if you suck up to your teachers, popular people, or bosses, the people around you will lose respect for you because they won't think you respect yourself.
3-10. Mind your appearance.
If you want to be mean and intimidating to people, then you've got to look put together. You don't have to dress to the nines or look like you just came off the runway, but you should wear nice, clean, wrinkle-free clothes, shower regularly, and do all you've got to do to look like a person who actually cares about their appearance. This shows a basic level of respect that you give yourself, which suggests that other people should follow suit.
Don't let people see you looking at your reflection or fixing your clothes or make up in public. This will make you look a bit unsure of yourself.
3-11. Don't show weakness.
This is not the time to let people see how insecure, scared, or uncertain you are. If you want to intimidate people, then you've got to let them think that you're comfortable with yourself, that you're secure with who you are, and that you don't have 10,000 flaws that you are broadcasting at all times. If you show too much weakness, people will latch on to it and will see that they can be mean to you right back.
It's okay to open up to your friends about your weaknesses and insecurities. But when it comes to going out in public and giving people a scare, keep it to yourself.
Tips
If it is someone you know and they have always been mean to you, they may leave you alone if you just show them who is boss.
Always hold your head up high and don't back down!
Using your facial muscles, push your eyebrows together to create an intense and stern look when speaking and making your point.
Warnings
If you really don't like the idea of potentially offending, or making possible enemies out of other people, this article probably isn't for you.
If you are stern all the time, nobody will want to be around you.
Trying these steps is highly unlikely to score you popularity points. People often don't like others who make a habit of being mean or intimidating.
Trying these techniques might still lead to trouble or a fight, so be careful in your choice of words and actions around specific people. Use your best sense of judgment as to what is likely to work without being likely to lead to greatly problematic situations.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:16",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Knowing When to Act\\n1-1. Know when you should stand up for yourself.\\nThe first thing you've got to know is when you should be intimidating and mean. You can't do it all the time or it will lose its value -- and you will lose friends. But if someone has been putting you down, making you feel small, or just not giving you your due, it may be time to turn up the mean/intimidating factor. If you feel like there is a person or people in your life who are constantly treating you with disrespect and that you've tried being nice and it just hasn't worked, it may be time to explore your mean side.\\nIf you repeatedly feel disrespected or overlooked, it may be time to act. Being Mr. Nice Guy or Ms. Nice Girl won't always work in your favor, unfortunately.\\nLook for cues that you are uncomfortable. Is your body tense? Are you sweating? Are you feeling anxious, angry, frustrated or fearful? Then, you have to make a choice to help you feel more in control, rather than being taken advantage of.\\nMake sure to take some deep breaths to calm and compose yourself before acting.\\n1-2. Make sure that your motives are pure.\\nYou shouldn't just be mean and intimidating to hurt someone's feelings, to show off, or just to make yourself feel better. If this is what you want, then you may end up just being mean and intimidating all the time. You should only do it if you feel like you really haven't been heard and need to stand your ground, or if there is a person or people in your life who are just walking all over you and not taking you seriously. Remember that you want to use your powers for good, not evil.\\nAnd this is not to say that fighting fire with fire always works -- if someone is being mean to you, then the solution doesn't have to be to be mean back. But if you've tried everything else, then it may be time to assert yourself.\\n1-3. Don't do it too much.\\nIf you're on this page, then chances are that you've found yourself in a dire situation where you feel like you have no other options but to be a bit threatening. If this is the case, then that's fine, but you shouldn't try to make this your new permanent persona. Pick and choose your battles, and don't get in the habit of being mean and intimidating toward too many people or your new personality just might stick.\\nMake sure to watch yourself. If it feels a little too good to be mean and intimidating, then it's time to back off.\\n1-4. Make sure you don't change completely.\\nThere are many tricks to acting mean and intimidating and you can definitely adopt some of them. However, you don't want to have a complete transformation where your original personality has completely fallen by the wayside. If you're acting nothing at all like yourself around people who know you, then they may think you're putting on an act and they may even find you amusing. Find a way to integrate elements of meanness and intimidation into your real personality.\\nYou don't want to overdo it. If you're normally shy and meek and start acting like a bouncer at the hottest club in Manhattan, people may be on to you.\\n2. Adopting the Attitude\\n2-1. Don't be afraid to say no.\\nPeople who are mean and intimidating do not give in to other people or let them walk all over them. You have to be ready to assert yourself and to say no to people who dump too much work on you, ask you for ridiculous favors, or just put more pressure on you than you're comfortable with. People who are truly intimidating are more interested in getting people to do what they want than in giving in to the needs of others.\\nIf something seems ridiculous or un-doable to you, then say so. This is the new you, remember?\\nIt's a matter of getting the respect that you deserve. People won't respect you if they know you'll say yes to anything they want you to do.\\n2-2. Don't settle for less than you deserve.\\nIf you want to get the right attitude, then you have to remember that you deserve the things that you want, and that you don't have to spend your life settling for the second rate. You could want to move up in the career ladder, or for some annoying people to give you some space at school. Whatever you want, write it down, and see that you really deserve nothing but the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.\\nYou have to really know what you want to know if you're settling. Take some time to think about what you want out of life -- and what you hope to achieve by being mean and intimidating.\\n2-3. Be okay with doing your own thing.\\nPeople who are mean and intimidating have their own ideas about how life should be lived, and they do not give in or conform to others' notions of success or the right thing to do. This doesn't mean that you should set your house on fire, but it does mean that you should stay true to your beliefs and not care too much about what anyone thinks. If you want to go to a concert but no one else likes the band, go by yourself. If you walk into a classroom and don't know anyone there and don't feel like being social, take a seat and do what you want.\\nStop the desperation of trying to look like you fit in and stop surrounding yourself with people you don't really care about just so you look cooler.\\n2-4. See the world as your oyster.\\nStop thinking about what the world hasn't given you or what it has kept you from doing and think of it as something you can embrace and maybe even conquer. When you walk into a room, don't retreat into yourself, worrying that you won't act the right way or that you won't know anybody there; instead, think of the awesome time you're going to have because the whole night is within your control.\\nIt's a matter of attitude. If you think that a million good things can happen to you and are excited to start getting what you want, it's much more likely to happen than if you crawl into a fetal position in the corner and cry, \\\"Nothing good ever happens to me…\\\"\\n2-5. Let your validation come from within.\\nDon't wait for other people to tell you how amazing you are, how good you look, or how much you're worth. Though it's nice to get some praise and accolades, none of that will mean a thing if you think you're a worthless person with nothing going for you. Instead, take a step back to take stock of how awesome you are, and let people see that you're so comfortable with yourself that you don't care what they think of you -- now that's intimidating.\\nThis doesn't mean that you have to think you're perfect. It does mean that you have to realize that you're a worthy person, flaws and all.\\n2-6. Have a clear sense of what you want.\\nAnother way to intimidate people and to even seem a bit mean, is to know exactly what you're after. It could be that you want to pass through the halls without talking to anyone who is bringing you down; it could mean that you know you want to graduate college in three years. Whatever you want, you have to have a firm vision of the future you want to achieve, so firm that anyone in your orbit can think, \\\"Wow, there's no stopping them.\\\"\\nLook straight ahead instead of down at the floor. Let people see that you're always looking toward the future.\\n2-7. Have firm opinions.\\nPeople who are mean or intimidating don't go around asking others what they think they should do or constantly questioning everything they believe. Though you can of course question your beliefs to find the right answer, you should avoid coming off as a person who is insecure and always turning to others for answers. You should not only be able to state how you feel about certain issues or situations, but you should have concrete evidence to back it up.\\nThough everyone is entitled to their opinion, you should not go around spouting off ill-founded, hurtful, or just annoying opinions; this will not make people respect you. Have firm beliefs, but make sure they are founded in reality.\\n2-8. Have control.\\nPeople who are mean and intimidating have control over their emotions, their bodies, and their words. Speak in a calm and measured way and don't look like you're about to explode if you find yourself in a difficult social situation. If you find yourself getting heated or raising your voice, then back away and say that you need a breather. If you want people to be intimidated by you, then you want them to think, \\\"Wow, they really meant business when they said that…\\\"\\nIf you want to sound like you have conviction and want to be taken seriously, then you have to have control over your words and emotions.\\n2-9. Exude confidence.\\nYou can't be mean or intimidating to a house plant if you don't have the confidence to back it up. You've got to act and look like you love who you are, like you know where you're going, and like you know what you're doing. Speak with conviction, make eye contact, have good posture, and don't fidget or look around too much or you'll look unsure of yourself. You shouldn't be arrogant and flawless, but if you show too much weakness, then no one will be able to take you seriously.\\nFake it until you make it. If you have the body language and voice control down, you'll be much more likely to feel confident.\\n3. Taking Action\\n3-1. Stand your ground.\\nNo matter what, don't back down. Even if someone says something that makes your opinion look like trash, keep backing up what you think and saying exactly what you think. Don't go, \\\"Yeah, I guess you're right, man. I stink,\\\" or that kind of thing. Keep going. Even if you lose, it'll show people you won't back down and that you stand up for what you believe in. Just make sure you don't give the impression that you are too stubborn to hang around.\\n3-2. Be reserved.\\nThis can be accomplished through controlled use of facial expressions and verbal language. Remain polite in your manner, but at the same time don't give too much away about yourself. You might find that it helps to keep conversations brief and matter of fact, without going into personal details. This will create a sense of mystery and uncertainty for others, when it comes to your interactions with them.\\nAlso remember not to appear afraid or intimidated -- as otherwise this will ruin the desired effect.\\n3-3. Portray a lack of positive emotions.\\nThis includes avoiding behavior such as laughing, joking, and smiling - even if normally these are typical attitudes you show others. If you find this difficult, aim to be as generally emotionless as you can -- within the specific situation you're trying to appear mean/intimidating in -- might help with this. However, expressing negative emotions such as anger bursts or irritability is acceptable -- as these will likely lead to intimidating the person/people on the receiving end.\\n3-4. Use an appropriate tone of voice when speaking.\\nMake sure that you sound confident, tough, and sure of yourself. Don't talk so quietly people can't hear you. Talk just a little bit louder than usual, to make sure you're heard. It'll silence people, too. Don't say anything to provoke an argument or that might get you in trouble, but make sure you say what you think in a slightly more tough than usual kind of way.\\nYou can always tape record yourself at home to see how you really come off.\\n3-5. Be blunt in expressing your opinions of others.\\nIf it happens that someone has made a bad decision or doesn't look good in some way, plunge ahead and be honest about it with them -- but without being tactful as you won't give the impression of being mean if you do so. You'll likely achieve the effect you're after even better if you use a manner when making your comments.\\nThis is a great way of showing that you don't care what other people think, which is an intimidating trait.\\n3-6. Walk into a room like you own it.\\nPeople who are mean and intimidating know what they're after and walk into a room like it is all theirs. It's just a vibe they give off that says, \\\"Get out of the way!\\\" This definitely scares people a bit and makes them think, \\\"There's a person who knows where they're going.\\\" If you want to be mean and intimidating, then you can't walk into a room like you don't know where you're going or when you'll get there. Act firm and assert your dominance and do it as soon as you can.\\nDon't look around nervously for someone to talk to. If you look like you know where you're going, you'll immediately intimidate people.\\n3-7. Don't laugh too much.\\nThough even the meanest and most intimidating people have a softer side, you won't be making too many people cower if you're cracking up every two seconds. Humor is great for relieving stress and helping you connect with people, but if you find yourself around someone you want to intimidate, then the less jokes, the better. You can't let them think you're easygoing, fun to be around, or too relaxed, or they may take advantage of you.\\nOf course, if you're just hanging out with a bunch of people who you don't want to be mean to, then laugh all you want!\\n3-8. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.\\nYou don't have to brag to intimidate people or to be mean to them. If you talk about how amazing you are at soccer/school/starting your own company, then people will be less likely to respect you or to be intimidated by you than if they learned about this on their own. If you're really so great, then people will probably figure it out pretty quickly; if you have to tell them, they won't care that much.\\nDon't be so invested in bragging and showing people how awesome you are in an attempt to scare people off. This will make you seem like you're desperate for approval, which is the opposite of being mean or intimidating.\\n3-9. Don't suck up.\\nDon't flatter people when you don't mean it, beg for approval, or just act like a general suck-up. This behavior will make people think that you get all of your validation from other people and that you don't really know what you want, or that you don't think that you can get there on your own. Yeah, if you suck up to your teachers, popular people, or bosses, the people around you will lose respect for you because they won't think you respect yourself.\\n3-10. Mind your appearance.\\nIf you want to be mean and intimidating to people, then you've got to look put together. You don't have to dress to the nines or look like you just came off the runway, but you should wear nice, clean, wrinkle-free clothes, shower regularly, and do all you've got to do to look like a person who actually cares about their appearance. This shows a basic level of respect that you give yourself, which suggests that other people should follow suit.\\nDon't let people see you looking at your reflection or fixing your clothes or make up in public. This will make you look a bit unsure of yourself.\\n3-11. Don't show weakness.\\nThis is not the time to let people see how insecure, scared, or uncertain you are. If you want to intimidate people, then you've got to let them think that you're comfortable with yourself, that you're secure with who you are, and that you don't have 10,000 flaws that you are broadcasting at all times. If you show too much weakness, people will latch on to it and will see that they can be mean to you right back.\\nIt's okay to open up to your friends about your weaknesses and insecurities. But when it comes to going out in public and giving people a scare, keep it to yourself.\\nTips\\nIf it is someone you know and they have always been mean to you, they may leave you alone if you just show them who is boss.\\nAlways hold your head up high and don't back down!\\nUsing your facial muscles, push your eyebrows together to create an intense and stern look when speaking and making your point.\\nWarnings\\nIf you really don't like the idea of potentially offending, or making possible enemies out of other people, this article probably isn't for you.\\nIf you are stern all the time, nobody will want to be around you.\\nTrying these steps is highly unlikely to score you popularity points. People often don't like others who make a habit of being mean or intimidating.\\nTrying these techniques might still lead to trouble or a fight, so be careful in your choice of words and actions around specific people. Use your best sense of judgment as to what is likely to work without being likely to lead to greatly problematic situations.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being mean and intimidating all the time can be exhausting and won't help you make any friends. However, there are times when it's absolutely necessary to scare people off a little bit and to assert yourself. If you need to be mean and intimidating toward someone, then you have to have an attitude of \\\"I don't care what anyone thinks,\\\" a healthy dose of confidence, and the words to back it up. If you want to know how to be mean and intimidating when you need to be, see Step 1 and be on your way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing When to Act\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know when you should stand up for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The first thing you've got to know is when you should be intimidating and mean. You can't do it all the time or it will lose its value -- and you will lose friends. But if someone has been putting you down, making you feel small, or just not giving you your due, it may be time to turn up the mean/intimidating factor. If you feel like there is a person or people in your life who are constantly treating you with disrespect and that you've tried being nice and it just hasn't worked, it may be time to explore your mean side.\\nIf you repeatedly feel disrespected or overlooked, it may be time to act. Being Mr. Nice Guy or Ms. Nice Girl won't always work in your favor, unfortunately.\\nLook for cues that you are uncomfortable. Is your body tense? Are you sweating? Are you feeling anxious, angry, frustrated or fearful? Then, you have to make a choice to help you feel more in control, rather than being taken advantage of.\\nMake sure to take some deep breaths to calm and compose yourself before acting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure that your motives are pure.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn't just be mean and intimidating to hurt someone's feelings, to show off, or just to make yourself feel better. If this is what you want, then you may end up just being mean and intimidating all the time. You should only do it if you feel like you really haven't been heard and need to stand your ground, or if there is a person or people in your life who are just walking all over you and not taking you seriously. Remember that you want to use your powers for good, not evil.\\nAnd this is not to say that fighting fire with fire always works -- if someone is being mean to you, then the solution doesn't have to be to be mean back. But if you've tried everything else, then it may be time to assert yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't do it too much.\", \"描述\": \"If you're on this page, then chances are that you've found yourself in a dire situation where you feel like you have no other options but to be a bit threatening. If this is the case, then that's fine, but you shouldn't try to make this your new permanent persona. Pick and choose your battles, and don't get in the habit of being mean and intimidating toward too many people or your new personality just might stick.\\nMake sure to watch yourself. If it feels a little too good to be mean and intimidating, then it's time to back off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure you don't change completely.\", \"描述\": \"There are many tricks to acting mean and intimidating and you can definitely adopt some of them. However, you don't want to have a complete transformation where your original personality has completely fallen by the wayside. If you're acting nothing at all like yourself around people who know you, then they may think you're putting on an act and they may even find you amusing. Find a way to integrate elements of meanness and intimidation into your real personality.\\nYou don't want to overdo it. If you're normally shy and meek and start acting like a bouncer at the hottest club in Manhattan, people may be on to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adopting the Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to say no.\", \"描述\": \"People who are mean and intimidating do not give in to other people or let them walk all over them. You have to be ready to assert yourself and to say no to people who dump too much work on you, ask you for ridiculous favors, or just put more pressure on you than you're comfortable with. People who are truly intimidating are more interested in getting people to do what they want than in giving in to the needs of others.\\nIf something seems ridiculous or un-doable to you, then say so. This is the new you, remember?\\nIt's a matter of getting the respect that you deserve. People won't respect you if they know you'll say yes to anything they want you to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't settle for less than you deserve.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to get the right attitude, then you have to remember that you deserve the things that you want, and that you don't have to spend your life settling for the second rate. You could want to move up in the career ladder, or for some annoying people to give you some space at school. Whatever you want, write it down, and see that you really deserve nothing but the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.\\nYou have to really know what you want to know if you're settling. Take some time to think about what you want out of life -- and what you hope to achieve by being mean and intimidating.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be okay with doing your own thing.\", \"描述\": \"People who are mean and intimidating have their own ideas about how life should be lived, and they do not give in or conform to others' notions of success or the right thing to do. This doesn't mean that you should set your house on fire, but it does mean that you should stay true to your beliefs and not care too much about what anyone thinks. If you want to go to a concert but no one else likes the band, go by yourself. If you walk into a classroom and don't know anyone there and don't feel like being social, take a seat and do what you want.\\nStop the desperation of trying to look like you fit in and stop surrounding yourself with people you don't really care about just so you look cooler.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"See the world as your oyster.\", \"描述\": \"Stop thinking about what the world hasn't given you or what it has kept you from doing and think of it as something you can embrace and maybe even conquer. When you walk into a room, don't retreat into yourself, worrying that you won't act the right way or that you won't know anybody there; instead, think of the awesome time you're going to have because the whole night is within your control.\\nIt's a matter of attitude. If you think that a million good things can happen to you and are excited to start getting what you want, it's much more likely to happen than if you crawl into a fetal position in the corner and cry, \\\"Nothing good ever happens to me…\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your validation come from within.\", \"描述\": \"Don't wait for other people to tell you how amazing you are, how good you look, or how much you're worth. Though it's nice to get some praise and accolades, none of that will mean a thing if you think you're a worthless person with nothing going for you. Instead, take a step back to take stock of how awesome you are, and let people see that you're so comfortable with yourself that you don't care what they think of you -- now that's intimidating.\\nThis doesn't mean that you have to think you're perfect. It does mean that you have to realize that you're a worthy person, flaws and all.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a clear sense of what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to intimidate people and to even seem a bit mean, is to know exactly what you're after. It could be that you want to pass through the halls without talking to anyone who is bringing you down; it could mean that you know you want to graduate college in three years. Whatever you want, you have to have a firm vision of the future you want to achieve, so firm that anyone in your orbit can think, \\\"Wow, there's no stopping them.\\\"\\nLook straight ahead instead of down at the floor. Let people see that you're always looking toward the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have firm opinions.\", \"描述\": \"People who are mean or intimidating don't go around asking others what they think they should do or constantly questioning everything they believe. Though you can of course question your beliefs to find the right answer, you should avoid coming off as a person who is insecure and always turning to others for answers. You should not only be able to state how you feel about certain issues or situations, but you should have concrete evidence to back it up.\\nThough everyone is entitled to their opinion, you should not go around spouting off ill-founded, hurtful, or just annoying opinions; this will not make people respect you. Have firm beliefs, but make sure they are founded in reality.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Have control.\", \"描述\": \"People who are mean and intimidating have control over their emotions, their bodies, and their words. Speak in a calm and measured way and don't look like you're about to explode if you find yourself in a difficult social situation. If you find yourself getting heated or raising your voice, then back away and say that you need a breather. If you want people to be intimidated by you, then you want them to think, \\\"Wow, they really meant business when they said that…\\\"\\nIf you want to sound like you have conviction and want to be taken seriously, then you have to have control over your words and emotions.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Exude confidence.\", \"描述\": \"You can't be mean or intimidating to a house plant if you don't have the confidence to back it up. You've got to act and look like you love who you are, like you know where you're going, and like you know what you're doing. Speak with conviction, make eye contact, have good posture, and don't fidget or look around too much or you'll look unsure of yourself. You shouldn't be arrogant and flawless, but if you show too much weakness, then no one will be able to take you seriously.\\nFake it until you make it. If you have the body language and voice control down, you'll be much more likely to feel confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stand your ground.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what, don't back down. Even if someone says something that makes your opinion look like trash, keep backing up what you think and saying exactly what you think. Don't go, \\\"Yeah, I guess you're right, man. I stink,\\\" or that kind of thing. Keep going. Even if you lose, it'll show people you won't back down and that you stand up for what you believe in. Just make sure you don't give the impression that you are too stubborn to hang around.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be reserved.\", \"描述\": \"This can be accomplished through controlled use of facial expressions and verbal language. Remain polite in your manner, but at the same time don't give too much away about yourself. You might find that it helps to keep conversations brief and matter of fact, without going into personal details. This will create a sense of mystery and uncertainty for others, when it comes to your interactions with them.\\nAlso remember not to appear afraid or intimidated -- as otherwise this will ruin the desired effect.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Portray a lack of positive emotions.\", \"描述\": \"This includes avoiding behavior such as laughing, joking, and smiling - even if normally these are typical attitudes you show others. If you find this difficult, aim to be as generally emotionless as you can -- within the specific situation you're trying to appear mean/intimidating in -- might help with this. However, expressing negative emotions such as anger bursts or irritability is acceptable -- as these will likely lead to intimidating the person/people on the receiving end.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use an appropriate tone of voice when speaking.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you sound confident, tough, and sure of yourself. Don't talk so quietly people can't hear you. Talk just a little bit louder than usual, to make sure you're heard. It'll silence people, too. Don't say anything to provoke an argument or that might get you in trouble, but make sure you say what you think in a slightly more tough than usual kind of way.\\nYou can always tape record yourself at home to see how you really come off.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be blunt in expressing your opinions of others.\", \"描述\": \"If it happens that someone has made a bad decision or doesn't look good in some way, plunge ahead and be honest about it with them -- but without being tactful as you won't give the impression of being mean if you do so. You'll likely achieve the effect you're after even better if you use a manner when making your comments.\\nThis is a great way of showing that you don't care what other people think, which is an intimidating trait.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Walk into a room like you own it.\", \"描述\": \"People who are mean and intimidating know what they're after and walk into a room like it is all theirs. It's just a vibe they give off that says, \\\"Get out of the way!\\\" This definitely scares people a bit and makes them think, \\\"There's a person who knows where they're going.\\\" If you want to be mean and intimidating, then you can't walk into a room like you don't know where you're going or when you'll get there. Act firm and assert your dominance and do it as soon as you can.\\nDon't look around nervously for someone to talk to. If you look like you know where you're going, you'll immediately intimidate people.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't laugh too much.\", \"描述\": \"Though even the meanest and most intimidating people have a softer side, you won't be making too many people cower if you're cracking up every two seconds. Humor is great for relieving stress and helping you connect with people, but if you find yourself around someone you want to intimidate, then the less jokes, the better. You can't let them think you're easygoing, fun to be around, or too relaxed, or they may take advantage of you.\\nOf course, if you're just hanging out with a bunch of people who you don't want to be mean to, then laugh all you want!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to brag to intimidate people or to be mean to them. If you talk about how amazing you are at soccer/school/starting your own company, then people will be less likely to respect you or to be intimidated by you than if they learned about this on their own. If you're really so great, then people will probably figure it out pretty quickly; if you have to tell them, they won't care that much.\\nDon't be so invested in bragging and showing people how awesome you are in an attempt to scare people off. This will make you seem like you're desperate for approval, which is the opposite of being mean or intimidating.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't suck up.\", \"描述\": \"Don't flatter people when you don't mean it, beg for approval, or just act like a general suck-up. This behavior will make people think that you get all of your validation from other people and that you don't really know what you want, or that you don't think that you can get there on your own. Yeah, if you suck up to your teachers, popular people, or bosses, the people around you will lose respect for you because they won't think you respect yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Mind your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be mean and intimidating to people, then you've got to look put together. You don't have to dress to the nines or look like you just came off the runway, but you should wear nice, clean, wrinkle-free clothes, shower regularly, and do all you've got to do to look like a person who actually cares about their appearance. This shows a basic level of respect that you give yourself, which suggests that other people should follow suit.\\nDon't let people see you looking at your reflection or fixing your clothes or make up in public. This will make you look a bit unsure of yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Don't show weakness.\", \"描述\": \"This is not the time to let people see how insecure, scared, or uncertain you are. If you want to intimidate people, then you've got to let them think that you're comfortable with yourself, that you're secure with who you are, and that you don't have 10,000 flaws that you are broadcasting at all times. If you show too much weakness, people will latch on to it and will see that they can be mean to you right back.\\nIt's okay to open up to your friends about your weaknesses and insecurities. But when it comes to going out in public and giving people a scare, keep it to yourself.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If it is someone you know and they have always been mean to you, they may leave you alone if you just show them who is boss.\\n\", \"Always hold your head up high and don't back down!\\n\", \"Using your facial muscles, push your eyebrows together to create an intense and stern look when speaking and making your point.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you really don't like the idea of potentially offending, or making possible enemies out of other people, this article probably isn't for you.\\n\", \"If you are stern all the time, nobody will want to be around you.\\n\", \"Trying these steps is highly unlikely to score you popularity points. People often don't like others who make a habit of being mean or intimidating.\\n\", \"Trying these techniques might still lead to trouble or a fight, so be careful in your choice of words and actions around specific people. Use your best sense of judgment as to what is likely to work without being likely to lead to greatly problematic situations.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,920 | How to Be Mellow | 1. Changing Your Perspective
1-1. Empower yourself to change what you can change.
Part of being mellow is knowing when you should actually change something that is gnawing at you. If you're irritated by a co-worker and do nothing to address it, then yeah, you are unlikely to feel mellow when you're at work. If your closet door is driving you crazy but you don't try to fix it, then you won't be feeling mellow for very long. The important thing is to approach the fixable problems in life with calm and resolve.
Ask yourself about which things in life are causing you to not be mellow. Work to find a way to solve or address the problems that you are able to deal with.
1-2. Stop freaking out about the things you can't change.
Along with changing the things you can change, in order to truly be mellow, you have to be able to learn to accept the things you cannot change. You can address a problematic co-worker to discuss issues you've been having, but you may not be able to change the fact that you hate the weather in the place where you live or that you have to live with siblings who pester you. Learn to recognize when a situation is out of your control and accept it with a calm mind.
Let's say your new boss is driving you crazy, but you really love your job. If you try to resolve the issue and fail, then you have to learn to focus on the parts of your job that you love in spite of being annoyed by your boss.
1-3. Don't hold a grudge.
If you're the kind of person who doesn't know how to forgive and forget, then you are guaranteed to be less mellow. If one of your friends or family members has truly upset you, you have to work on being able to talk about it and to move past it, even if you haven't completely forgiven the person. If you walk around holding a grudge, then you are guaranteed to be in an angry, riled-up state instead of facing the day with calm and peace.
If you spend so much time obsessing over being mad at people who rejected you or fuming over people who have harmed you, then you will never be able to mellow out.
Sure, it can help to talk about how someone has hurt you. But if you keep talking about it to everyone within earshot, you're only going to work yourself up into a frenzy.
1-4. Keep a journal.
Keeping a journal can help you feel in touch with your thoughts and ready to face new challenges. Making a goal of writing in your journal at least a few times a week can help you check in with yourself and feel like you are in touch with your mental state. Doing so also helps you establish a healthy routine and gives you time to slow down and accept whatever the day has thrown at you. If you don't take a moment to breathe or relax as you write down your thoughts, then you will not be feeling mellow any time soon.
Use your journal as a place for honesty and a reservation of judgment. Write down what you're thinking and feeling without fear or lies and you'll be on your way to feeling more at peace.
1-5. Learn to take it one step at a time.
A lot of people don't feel mellow because their wheels are always turning, trying to play out every move of life like it's a chess game. Let's say you're a writer who is deciding whether to be a librarian or to go to graduate school. Instead of planning out the next ten years of your life, wondering if you'll ever be able to publish a book, just do what feels right to you during that particular stage of your life. Focus on whatever you're doing right now and think about your next move without worrying about the next ten moves you'll have to make.
If you learn to live in the present and to fully immerse yourself in what you're working on now, you'll be much more likely to succeed at what you're doing than if you're constantly wondering about where this step will lead you.
2. Taking Action
2-1. Take 15-minute walks every day.
Taking walks has been proven to relieve stress and to help you stop worrying about all of the things that are bothering you. If you make a goal of taking just one or two 15-minute walks per day, then you can help yourself get some fresh air, be out in the sunshine, and to make an effort to break your usual habits or routine. If you're feeling overwhelmed or angry and not sure how to proceed, taking a walk to clear your head can have a powerful positive effect on your mental state.
Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery. Just being out in the world, seeing trees, people, and others going about their days can make you feel more peaceful.
2-2. Exercise more.
Exercising will also make you feel more mellow, and more in control of your mind and body. Just making a habit of exercising for 30 minutes a day or as many times as you can a week can help you have a lifestyle that makes you feel more calm and at peace. Any form of exercise will help you focus on your body and relieve some of the anxious energy you've been carrying around, though every person has a different form of exercise that can be best suited to his needs, such as yoga or hiking.
You can even make exercise a part of your daily life, if you're short on time. Instead of driving to the grocery store, take a 15-minute walk there. Instead of taking the elevator to work, take the stairs. These little efforts at activity do add up.
2-3. Spend time in nature.
Being out in nature can help you feel more calm and at peace, and can give you a sense that most of your problems really aren't that big of a deal. It's hard to worry about your upcoming project or job interview when you're walking through the woods or standing on top of a mountain. If you're in a more urban environment, visit a public garden or a lake just to get a taste of nature. It's more important than you think when it comes to mellowing out.
If you find a hiking, swimming, or biking buddy, then you'll be even more motivated to spend time in nature.
2-4. Listen to soothing music.
Listening to classical music, jazz, or other music that makes you feel more calm and mellow can have a big impact on your inner and outer state. Try to minimize the death metal or other music that gets you riled up and turn to more calming sounds. You can go to concerts or just experience this music in your own home or car, especially when you're feeling stressed out.
If you just plug in for a few minutes and listen to mellow music, you'll find that your mind and body will relax more easily. If you're in the middle of a heated argument, you can even excuse yourself and spend a few minutes listening to calming music before you return to the conversation.
2-5. Rest with your eyes closed to calm down.
Sometimes, all you need to do is to take a few minutes of time out. If you're feeling really overwhelmed and not mellow at all, just lie down or sit down, close your eyes, and try not to move your body for a few minutes. Shut down your mind and focus on the sounds around you, and see if you can even fall into a light sleep for a few minutes. Try this for 15-20 minutes. You don't want to end up taking a long, hour-plus nap and wake up feeling groggy or worse than usual.
If you feel anxious because you're tired and don't feel capable of dealing with a lot of your problems, making a power nap a part of your routine can help you feel more mellow.
2-6. Laugh more.
Making laughter a bigger part of your routine will definitely make you feel more relaxed and at ease, and thereby more mellow. You may feel like you don't have time for laughter, or that laughing isn't "serious" enough, but you should really make an effort to spend time around people who make you laugh, watching comedies, or just to do things that get you out of a serious frame of mind. Get silly with your friends and dress up in goofy costumes, dance for no reason, run around in the rain, or do whatever you can to shake yourself out of your stressed-out funk and to crack up more.
Making a goal toward laughing more is something you can do today and start right now. Even if you're just watching a cat do something ridiculous on YouTube, you'll still be headed in the right direction.
2-7. Minimize your caffeine intake.
It's a known fact that caffeine can make you feel more anxious and less at peace. Though drinking coffee, tea, or a soda can definitely give you the burst of energy you may be looking for, if you drink too much of it, or drink it too late in the day, then you are likely to feel more jittery and less mellow than you may want. Ask yourself how much caffeine you regularly drink and slowly work to cut this number in half — if not eliminate your caffeine intake completely.
It goes without saying that if you want to be mellow, you should avoid those energy drinks at all costs. They will give you a quick high and then will make you crash and feel anxious.
3. Having a More Mellow Lifestyle
3-1. Hang out with more mellow people.
One way to instantly make your life more mellow is to hang out with more people who have a mellow mindset. Being around people who are calm can soothe you and make you feel more at peace. Seek out people who have a more zen approach to life and try to emulate them. If you're close with them, ask them what makes them tick and talk to them about how they approach their lives. Though it's unlikely that you'll be able to act exactly like these people all of a sudden, it will be possible for you to pick up some tricks from them, and to mellow out just by hanging out with them.
In addition to hanging out with more mellow people, you should also try to weed out the people who cause you unnecessary stress or anxiety. Though you shouldn't drop your high-strung friends completely, you should think about spending less time with people who rile you up.
That being said, you should know that there's a different between being mellow and being indifferent or just not caring that much. If you have friends who really don't care one way or the other because they don't have too many goals or ambitions, then they are not necessarily being mellow. It's important to be motivated and to want to achieve something in life, even if what you want is happiness or inner peace — being mellow just means having a more healthy mindset while you go about your day.
3-2. Keep your space clean.
Another way to make yourself feel more mellow is to pay more attention to how you keep your space. Keeping a clean desk, a made bed, and a room that is free of clutter can have a positive impact on your mental state. Taking the time to put everything in order at the end of your day, even if you only take 10-15 minutes, can have a big impact on how you approach your day and how much you feel that you have on your plate. Make a concerted effort to keep your space in order and you'll be surprised by how much more mellow you feel.
Of course you'll feel frazzled if you wake up and your desk is scattered with paperwork, or if you spend half an hour trying to find the shirt you wanted to wear. Keeping your space clean will make your life feel more balanced.
You may think that you don't have the time to keep your space clean. However, you will find that if you put just 10-15 minutes a day into managing your space, that it will actually save you time because you'll never waste time looking for anything.
3-3. Don't be in a rush.
Another thing that mellow people do well is to not stress about running out of time or getting somewhere late. You need to work on managing your time so that you have plenty of time to get from one place to another, and that you leave early enough to get somewhere on time instead of stressing out about running late. If you're running late, you're going to be frazzled, not have time to manage your appearance, and will likely forget something, which will make you eve more stressed out. Leave for school or work ten minutes earlier than normal and see how much better you feel when you stop running from one place to the next.
The unexpected can always happen. Even if you end up getting to school or work 20 minutes early, it's better than being late because you ran into an unexpected traffic jam. If you plan your life this way, you will feel more mellow when you approach any situation.
3-4. Keep a reasonable schedule.
Keeping a reasonable schedule is tied to not being in a rush. If you want to be mellow, then you can't have eighty different balls in the air at once. You have to work on finding a way to give yourself enough time to move from place to place and to not be overwhelmed by all of the things that life throws at you. It's important to make time for your friends, but not so much time that you have no time for yourself. It's great to engage in many different projects, from weaving to doing yoga teacher training, but you shouldn't feel like you are committing too much and not being able to do any one thing well.
Take a look at your schedule. Do you see anything you can drop without missing it too much? Think about how much calmer you feel if you take 2-3 kickboxing classes during the week instead of 5-6.
Make sure to always save at least a few hours for yourself, if not more, during the week. Every person needs to spend a different amount of time by him or herself; get to know how much "me time" you really need and don't ever back out on it.
Plan a few short "recovery" breaks throughout the day so you have a chance to clear your head.
3-5. Do yoga.
Making yoga a part of your life will have countless benefits, from giving you inner peace to helping you develop a toned body. Making a habit of practicing yoga several times a week will make you feel more mellow, more calm, and more in control of your mind and body. When you're on the yoga mat, your goal is to forget all of the distractions around you and to focus on syncing your breathing with the movements of your body; for that time, your other cares and worries should melt away. But doing yoga isn't just a coping mechanism for forgetting your stress for a little while; it helps you build a road map for tackling stress, whether you're on or off the mat.
Ideally, you should practice yoga at least 5-6 times a week. This may sound like a lot, but you don't need to go to a studio to practice more than a few times a week, or at all. You can practice in the comfort of your own home, as long as you have the space to do it.
3-6. Meditate.
Meditation is also a way to become a more mellow person and to learn to quiet all of the voices that may be agitating you throughout the day. To meditate, just find a place where you can sit down for at least 10-15 minutes and learn to relax your body, one part at a time. Close your eyes and focus on the breath rising in and out of your body. When you open them and feel alert again, you'll feel more capable of dealing with what the day throws at you.
The best part is, you'll feel more capable of tackling challenges with inner calm and can return to the place you reached in meditation during any part of your day.
Tips
Music is a good way to stay calm and clear your mind.
Take a walk when you're tired by working.
Letting go is a very important thing to be mellow. Let go of things which depress you.
Warnings
It will take some time before you become totally mellow. But once you become, the whole world will seem like 'palace of happiness'. Therefore, keep trying to be mellow.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:16",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Perspective\\n1-1. Empower yourself to change what you can change.\\nPart of being mellow is knowing when you should actually change something that is gnawing at you. If you're irritated by a co-worker and do nothing to address it, then yeah, you are unlikely to feel mellow when you're at work. If your closet door is driving you crazy but you don't try to fix it, then you won't be feeling mellow for very long. The important thing is to approach the fixable problems in life with calm and resolve.\\nAsk yourself about which things in life are causing you to not be mellow. Work to find a way to solve or address the problems that you are able to deal with.\\n1-2. Stop freaking out about the things you can't change.\\nAlong with changing the things you can change, in order to truly be mellow, you have to be able to learn to accept the things you cannot change. You can address a problematic co-worker to discuss issues you've been having, but you may not be able to change the fact that you hate the weather in the place where you live or that you have to live with siblings who pester you. Learn to recognize when a situation is out of your control and accept it with a calm mind.\\nLet's say your new boss is driving you crazy, but you really love your job. If you try to resolve the issue and fail, then you have to learn to focus on the parts of your job that you love in spite of being annoyed by your boss.\\n1-3. Don't hold a grudge.\\nIf you're the kind of person who doesn't know how to forgive and forget, then you are guaranteed to be less mellow. If one of your friends or family members has truly upset you, you have to work on being able to talk about it and to move past it, even if you haven't completely forgiven the person. If you walk around holding a grudge, then you are guaranteed to be in an angry, riled-up state instead of facing the day with calm and peace.\\nIf you spend so much time obsessing over being mad at people who rejected you or fuming over people who have harmed you, then you will never be able to mellow out.\\nSure, it can help to talk about how someone has hurt you. But if you keep talking about it to everyone within earshot, you're only going to work yourself up into a frenzy.\\n1-4. Keep a journal.\\nKeeping a journal can help you feel in touch with your thoughts and ready to face new challenges. Making a goal of writing in your journal at least a few times a week can help you check in with yourself and feel like you are in touch with your mental state. Doing so also helps you establish a healthy routine and gives you time to slow down and accept whatever the day has thrown at you. If you don't take a moment to breathe or relax as you write down your thoughts, then you will not be feeling mellow any time soon.\\nUse your journal as a place for honesty and a reservation of judgment. Write down what you're thinking and feeling without fear or lies and you'll be on your way to feeling more at peace.\\n1-5. Learn to take it one step at a time.\\nA lot of people don't feel mellow because their wheels are always turning, trying to play out every move of life like it's a chess game. Let's say you're a writer who is deciding whether to be a librarian or to go to graduate school. Instead of planning out the next ten years of your life, wondering if you'll ever be able to publish a book, just do what feels right to you during that particular stage of your life. Focus on whatever you're doing right now and think about your next move without worrying about the next ten moves you'll have to make.\\nIf you learn to live in the present and to fully immerse yourself in what you're working on now, you'll be much more likely to succeed at what you're doing than if you're constantly wondering about where this step will lead you.\\n2. Taking Action\\n2-1. Take 15-minute walks every day.\\nTaking walks has been proven to relieve stress and to help you stop worrying about all of the things that are bothering you. If you make a goal of taking just one or two 15-minute walks per day, then you can help yourself get some fresh air, be out in the sunshine, and to make an effort to break your usual habits or routine. If you're feeling overwhelmed or angry and not sure how to proceed, taking a walk to clear your head can have a powerful positive effect on your mental state.\\nSometimes all you need is a change of scenery. Just being out in the world, seeing trees, people, and others going about their days can make you feel more peaceful.\\n2-2. Exercise more.\\nExercising will also make you feel more mellow, and more in control of your mind and body. Just making a habit of exercising for 30 minutes a day or as many times as you can a week can help you have a lifestyle that makes you feel more calm and at peace. Any form of exercise will help you focus on your body and relieve some of the anxious energy you've been carrying around, though every person has a different form of exercise that can be best suited to his needs, such as yoga or hiking.\\nYou can even make exercise a part of your daily life, if you're short on time. Instead of driving to the grocery store, take a 15-minute walk there. Instead of taking the elevator to work, take the stairs. These little efforts at activity do add up.\\n2-3. Spend time in nature.\\nBeing out in nature can help you feel more calm and at peace, and can give you a sense that most of your problems really aren't that big of a deal. It's hard to worry about your upcoming project or job interview when you're walking through the woods or standing on top of a mountain. If you're in a more urban environment, visit a public garden or a lake just to get a taste of nature. It's more important than you think when it comes to mellowing out.\\nIf you find a hiking, swimming, or biking buddy, then you'll be even more motivated to spend time in nature.\\n2-4. Listen to soothing music.\\nListening to classical music, jazz, or other music that makes you feel more calm and mellow can have a big impact on your inner and outer state. Try to minimize the death metal or other music that gets you riled up and turn to more calming sounds. You can go to concerts or just experience this music in your own home or car, especially when you're feeling stressed out.\\nIf you just plug in for a few minutes and listen to mellow music, you'll find that your mind and body will relax more easily. If you're in the middle of a heated argument, you can even excuse yourself and spend a few minutes listening to calming music before you return to the conversation.\\n2-5. Rest with your eyes closed to calm down.\\nSometimes, all you need to do is to take a few minutes of time out. If you're feeling really overwhelmed and not mellow at all, just lie down or sit down, close your eyes, and try not to move your body for a few minutes. Shut down your mind and focus on the sounds around you, and see if you can even fall into a light sleep for a few minutes. Try this for 15-20 minutes. You don't want to end up taking a long, hour-plus nap and wake up feeling groggy or worse than usual.\\nIf you feel anxious because you're tired and don't feel capable of dealing with a lot of your problems, making a power nap a part of your routine can help you feel more mellow.\\n2-6. Laugh more.\\nMaking laughter a bigger part of your routine will definitely make you feel more relaxed and at ease, and thereby more mellow. You may feel like you don't have time for laughter, or that laughing isn't \\\"serious\\\" enough, but you should really make an effort to spend time around people who make you laugh, watching comedies, or just to do things that get you out of a serious frame of mind. Get silly with your friends and dress up in goofy costumes, dance for no reason, run around in the rain, or do whatever you can to shake yourself out of your stressed-out funk and to crack up more.\\nMaking a goal toward laughing more is something you can do today and start right now. Even if you're just watching a cat do something ridiculous on YouTube, you'll still be headed in the right direction.\\n2-7. Minimize your caffeine intake.\\nIt's a known fact that caffeine can make you feel more anxious and less at peace. Though drinking coffee, tea, or a soda can definitely give you the burst of energy you may be looking for, if you drink too much of it, or drink it too late in the day, then you are likely to feel more jittery and less mellow than you may want. Ask yourself how much caffeine you regularly drink and slowly work to cut this number in half — if not eliminate your caffeine intake completely.\\nIt goes without saying that if you want to be mellow, you should avoid those energy drinks at all costs. They will give you a quick high and then will make you crash and feel anxious.\\n3. Having a More Mellow Lifestyle\\n3-1. Hang out with more mellow people.\\nOne way to instantly make your life more mellow is to hang out with more people who have a mellow mindset. Being around people who are calm can soothe you and make you feel more at peace. Seek out people who have a more zen approach to life and try to emulate them. If you're close with them, ask them what makes them tick and talk to them about how they approach their lives. Though it's unlikely that you'll be able to act exactly like these people all of a sudden, it will be possible for you to pick up some tricks from them, and to mellow out just by hanging out with them.\\nIn addition to hanging out with more mellow people, you should also try to weed out the people who cause you unnecessary stress or anxiety. Though you shouldn't drop your high-strung friends completely, you should think about spending less time with people who rile you up.\\nThat being said, you should know that there's a different between being mellow and being indifferent or just not caring that much. If you have friends who really don't care one way or the other because they don't have too many goals or ambitions, then they are not necessarily being mellow. It's important to be motivated and to want to achieve something in life, even if what you want is happiness or inner peace — being mellow just means having a more healthy mindset while you go about your day.\\n3-2. Keep your space clean.\\nAnother way to make yourself feel more mellow is to pay more attention to how you keep your space. Keeping a clean desk, a made bed, and a room that is free of clutter can have a positive impact on your mental state. Taking the time to put everything in order at the end of your day, even if you only take 10-15 minutes, can have a big impact on how you approach your day and how much you feel that you have on your plate. Make a concerted effort to keep your space in order and you'll be surprised by how much more mellow you feel.\\nOf course you'll feel frazzled if you wake up and your desk is scattered with paperwork, or if you spend half an hour trying to find the shirt you wanted to wear. Keeping your space clean will make your life feel more balanced.\\nYou may think that you don't have the time to keep your space clean. However, you will find that if you put just 10-15 minutes a day into managing your space, that it will actually save you time because you'll never waste time looking for anything.\\n3-3. Don't be in a rush.\\nAnother thing that mellow people do well is to not stress about running out of time or getting somewhere late. You need to work on managing your time so that you have plenty of time to get from one place to another, and that you leave early enough to get somewhere on time instead of stressing out about running late. If you're running late, you're going to be frazzled, not have time to manage your appearance, and will likely forget something, which will make you eve more stressed out. Leave for school or work ten minutes earlier than normal and see how much better you feel when you stop running from one place to the next.\\nThe unexpected can always happen. Even if you end up getting to school or work 20 minutes early, it's better than being late because you ran into an unexpected traffic jam. If you plan your life this way, you will feel more mellow when you approach any situation.\\n3-4. Keep a reasonable schedule.\\nKeeping a reasonable schedule is tied to not being in a rush. If you want to be mellow, then you can't have eighty different balls in the air at once. You have to work on finding a way to give yourself enough time to move from place to place and to not be overwhelmed by all of the things that life throws at you. It's important to make time for your friends, but not so much time that you have no time for yourself. It's great to engage in many different projects, from weaving to doing yoga teacher training, but you shouldn't feel like you are committing too much and not being able to do any one thing well.\\nTake a look at your schedule. Do you see anything you can drop without missing it too much? Think about how much calmer you feel if you take 2-3 kickboxing classes during the week instead of 5-6.\\nMake sure to always save at least a few hours for yourself, if not more, during the week. Every person needs to spend a different amount of time by him or herself; get to know how much \\\"me time\\\" you really need and don't ever back out on it.\\nPlan a few short \\\"recovery\\\" breaks throughout the day so you have a chance to clear your head.\\n3-5. Do yoga.\\nMaking yoga a part of your life will have countless benefits, from giving you inner peace to helping you develop a toned body. Making a habit of practicing yoga several times a week will make you feel more mellow, more calm, and more in control of your mind and body. When you're on the yoga mat, your goal is to forget all of the distractions around you and to focus on syncing your breathing with the movements of your body; for that time, your other cares and worries should melt away. But doing yoga isn't just a coping mechanism for forgetting your stress for a little while; it helps you build a road map for tackling stress, whether you're on or off the mat.\\nIdeally, you should practice yoga at least 5-6 times a week. This may sound like a lot, but you don't need to go to a studio to practice more than a few times a week, or at all. You can practice in the comfort of your own home, as long as you have the space to do it.\\n3-6. Meditate.\\nMeditation is also a way to become a more mellow person and to learn to quiet all of the voices that may be agitating you throughout the day. To meditate, just find a place where you can sit down for at least 10-15 minutes and learn to relax your body, one part at a time. Close your eyes and focus on the breath rising in and out of your body. When you open them and feel alert again, you'll feel more capable of dealing with what the day throws at you.\\nThe best part is, you'll feel more capable of tackling challenges with inner calm and can return to the place you reached in meditation during any part of your day.\\nTips\\nMusic is a good way to stay calm and clear your mind.\\nTake a walk when you're tired by working.\\nLetting go is a very important thing to be mellow. Let go of things which depress you.\\nWarnings\\nIt will take some time before you become totally mellow. But once you become, the whole world will seem like 'palace of happiness'. Therefore, keep trying to be mellow.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're striving to be more mellow, then chances are that you're the kind of person who spends too much time worrying or stressing out about things that don't really matter. You may find yourself getting furious after someone cuts in front of you when you're driving, or after an annoying exchange with one of your friends. You may be up all night, freaking out about a test or an interview that is coming up. You may also know many people who are mellow, who seem to take life in stride and don't get riled up over almost anything. If you want to be mellow like these people, then it's not about not caring about anything — it's about finding a way to manage your stress and to approach life with a calm, rational mind.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Perspective\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Empower yourself to change what you can change.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being mellow is knowing when you should actually change something that is gnawing at you. If you're irritated by a co-worker and do nothing to address it, then yeah, you are unlikely to feel mellow when you're at work. If your closet door is driving you crazy but you don't try to fix it, then you won't be feeling mellow for very long. The important thing is to approach the fixable problems in life with calm and resolve.\\nAsk yourself about which things in life are causing you to not be mellow. Work to find a way to solve or address the problems that you are able to deal with.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop freaking out about the things you can't change.\", \"描述\": \"Along with changing the things you can change, in order to truly be mellow, you have to be able to learn to accept the things you cannot change. You can address a problematic co-worker to discuss issues you've been having, but you may not be able to change the fact that you hate the weather in the place where you live or that you have to live with siblings who pester you. Learn to recognize when a situation is out of your control and accept it with a calm mind.\\nLet's say your new boss is driving you crazy, but you really love your job. If you try to resolve the issue and fail, then you have to learn to focus on the parts of your job that you love in spite of being annoyed by your boss.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't hold a grudge.\", \"描述\": \"If you're the kind of person who doesn't know how to forgive and forget, then you are guaranteed to be less mellow. If one of your friends or family members has truly upset you, you have to work on being able to talk about it and to move past it, even if you haven't completely forgiven the person. If you walk around holding a grudge, then you are guaranteed to be in an angry, riled-up state instead of facing the day with calm and peace.\\nIf you spend so much time obsessing over being mad at people who rejected you or fuming over people who have harmed you, then you will never be able to mellow out.\\nSure, it can help to talk about how someone has hurt you. But if you keep talking about it to everyone within earshot, you're only going to work yourself up into a frenzy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping a journal can help you feel in touch with your thoughts and ready to face new challenges. Making a goal of writing in your journal at least a few times a week can help you check in with yourself and feel like you are in touch with your mental state. Doing so also helps you establish a healthy routine and gives you time to slow down and accept whatever the day has thrown at you. If you don't take a moment to breathe or relax as you write down your thoughts, then you will not be feeling mellow any time soon.\\nUse your journal as a place for honesty and a reservation of judgment. Write down what you're thinking and feeling without fear or lies and you'll be on your way to feeling more at peace.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to take it one step at a time.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people don't feel mellow because their wheels are always turning, trying to play out every move of life like it's a chess game. Let's say you're a writer who is deciding whether to be a librarian or to go to graduate school. Instead of planning out the next ten years of your life, wondering if you'll ever be able to publish a book, just do what feels right to you during that particular stage of your life. Focus on whatever you're doing right now and think about your next move without worrying about the next ten moves you'll have to make.\\nIf you learn to live in the present and to fully immerse yourself in what you're working on now, you'll be much more likely to succeed at what you're doing than if you're constantly wondering about where this step will lead you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take 15-minute walks every day.\", \"描述\": \"Taking walks has been proven to relieve stress and to help you stop worrying about all of the things that are bothering you. If you make a goal of taking just one or two 15-minute walks per day, then you can help yourself get some fresh air, be out in the sunshine, and to make an effort to break your usual habits or routine. If you're feeling overwhelmed or angry and not sure how to proceed, taking a walk to clear your head can have a powerful positive effect on your mental state.\\nSometimes all you need is a change of scenery. Just being out in the world, seeing trees, people, and others going about their days can make you feel more peaceful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise more.\", \"描述\": \"Exercising will also make you feel more mellow, and more in control of your mind and body. Just making a habit of exercising for 30 minutes a day or as many times as you can a week can help you have a lifestyle that makes you feel more calm and at peace. Any form of exercise will help you focus on your body and relieve some of the anxious energy you've been carrying around, though every person has a different form of exercise that can be best suited to his needs, such as yoga or hiking.\\nYou can even make exercise a part of your daily life, if you're short on time. Instead of driving to the grocery store, take a 15-minute walk there. Instead of taking the elevator to work, take the stairs. These little efforts at activity do add up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time in nature.\", \"描述\": \"Being out in nature can help you feel more calm and at peace, and can give you a sense that most of your problems really aren't that big of a deal. It's hard to worry about your upcoming project or job interview when you're walking through the woods or standing on top of a mountain. If you're in a more urban environment, visit a public garden or a lake just to get a taste of nature. It's more important than you think when it comes to mellowing out.\\nIf you find a hiking, swimming, or biking buddy, then you'll be even more motivated to spend time in nature.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to soothing music.\", \"描述\": \"Listening to classical music, jazz, or other music that makes you feel more calm and mellow can have a big impact on your inner and outer state. Try to minimize the death metal or other music that gets you riled up and turn to more calming sounds. You can go to concerts or just experience this music in your own home or car, especially when you're feeling stressed out.\\nIf you just plug in for a few minutes and listen to mellow music, you'll find that your mind and body will relax more easily. If you're in the middle of a heated argument, you can even excuse yourself and spend a few minutes listening to calming music before you return to the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Rest with your eyes closed to calm down.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, all you need to do is to take a few minutes of time out. If you're feeling really overwhelmed and not mellow at all, just lie down or sit down, close your eyes, and try not to move your body for a few minutes. Shut down your mind and focus on the sounds around you, and see if you can even fall into a light sleep for a few minutes. Try this for 15-20 minutes. You don't want to end up taking a long, hour-plus nap and wake up feeling groggy or worse than usual.\\nIf you feel anxious because you're tired and don't feel capable of dealing with a lot of your problems, making a power nap a part of your routine can help you feel more mellow.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Laugh more.\", \"描述\": \"Making laughter a bigger part of your routine will definitely make you feel more relaxed and at ease, and thereby more mellow. You may feel like you don't have time for laughter, or that laughing isn't \\\"serious\\\" enough, but you should really make an effort to spend time around people who make you laugh, watching comedies, or just to do things that get you out of a serious frame of mind. Get silly with your friends and dress up in goofy costumes, dance for no reason, run around in the rain, or do whatever you can to shake yourself out of your stressed-out funk and to crack up more.\\nMaking a goal toward laughing more is something you can do today and start right now. Even if you're just watching a cat do something ridiculous on YouTube, you'll still be headed in the right direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Minimize your caffeine intake.\", \"描述\": \"It's a known fact that caffeine can make you feel more anxious and less at peace. Though drinking coffee, tea, or a soda can definitely give you the burst of energy you may be looking for, if you drink too much of it, or drink it too late in the day, then you are likely to feel more jittery and less mellow than you may want. Ask yourself how much caffeine you regularly drink and slowly work to cut this number in half — if not eliminate your caffeine intake completely.\\nIt goes without saying that if you want to be mellow, you should avoid those energy drinks at all costs. They will give you a quick high and then will make you crash and feel anxious.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having a More Mellow Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hang out with more mellow people.\", \"描述\": \"One way to instantly make your life more mellow is to hang out with more people who have a mellow mindset. Being around people who are calm can soothe you and make you feel more at peace. Seek out people who have a more zen approach to life and try to emulate them. If you're close with them, ask them what makes them tick and talk to them about how they approach their lives. Though it's unlikely that you'll be able to act exactly like these people all of a sudden, it will be possible for you to pick up some tricks from them, and to mellow out just by hanging out with them.\\nIn addition to hanging out with more mellow people, you should also try to weed out the people who cause you unnecessary stress or anxiety. Though you shouldn't drop your high-strung friends completely, you should think about spending less time with people who rile you up.\\nThat being said, you should know that there's a different between being mellow and being indifferent or just not caring that much. If you have friends who really don't care one way or the other because they don't have too many goals or ambitions, then they are not necessarily being mellow. It's important to be motivated and to want to achieve something in life, even if what you want is happiness or inner peace — being mellow just means having a more healthy mindset while you go about your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your space clean.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to make yourself feel more mellow is to pay more attention to how you keep your space. Keeping a clean desk, a made bed, and a room that is free of clutter can have a positive impact on your mental state. Taking the time to put everything in order at the end of your day, even if you only take 10-15 minutes, can have a big impact on how you approach your day and how much you feel that you have on your plate. Make a concerted effort to keep your space in order and you'll be surprised by how much more mellow you feel.\\nOf course you'll feel frazzled if you wake up and your desk is scattered with paperwork, or if you spend half an hour trying to find the shirt you wanted to wear. Keeping your space clean will make your life feel more balanced.\\nYou may think that you don't have the time to keep your space clean. However, you will find that if you put just 10-15 minutes a day into managing your space, that it will actually save you time because you'll never waste time looking for anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't be in a rush.\", \"描述\": \"Another thing that mellow people do well is to not stress about running out of time or getting somewhere late. You need to work on managing your time so that you have plenty of time to get from one place to another, and that you leave early enough to get somewhere on time instead of stressing out about running late. If you're running late, you're going to be frazzled, not have time to manage your appearance, and will likely forget something, which will make you eve more stressed out. Leave for school or work ten minutes earlier than normal and see how much better you feel when you stop running from one place to the next.\\nThe unexpected can always happen. Even if you end up getting to school or work 20 minutes early, it's better than being late because you ran into an unexpected traffic jam. If you plan your life this way, you will feel more mellow when you approach any situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a reasonable schedule.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping a reasonable schedule is tied to not being in a rush. If you want to be mellow, then you can't have eighty different balls in the air at once. You have to work on finding a way to give yourself enough time to move from place to place and to not be overwhelmed by all of the things that life throws at you. It's important to make time for your friends, but not so much time that you have no time for yourself. It's great to engage in many different projects, from weaving to doing yoga teacher training, but you shouldn't feel like you are committing too much and not being able to do any one thing well.\\nTake a look at your schedule. Do you see anything you can drop without missing it too much? Think about how much calmer you feel if you take 2-3 kickboxing classes during the week instead of 5-6.\\nMake sure to always save at least a few hours for yourself, if not more, during the week. Every person needs to spend a different amount of time by him or herself; get to know how much \\\"me time\\\" you really need and don't ever back out on it.\\nPlan a few short \\\"recovery\\\" breaks throughout the day so you have a chance to clear your head.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do yoga.\", \"描述\": \"Making yoga a part of your life will have countless benefits, from giving you inner peace to helping you develop a toned body. Making a habit of practicing yoga several times a week will make you feel more mellow, more calm, and more in control of your mind and body. When you're on the yoga mat, your goal is to forget all of the distractions around you and to focus on syncing your breathing with the movements of your body; for that time, your other cares and worries should melt away. But doing yoga isn't just a coping mechanism for forgetting your stress for a little while; it helps you build a road map for tackling stress, whether you're on or off the mat.\\nIdeally, you should practice yoga at least 5-6 times a week. This may sound like a lot, but you don't need to go to a studio to practice more than a few times a week, or at all. You can practice in the comfort of your own home, as long as you have the space to do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Meditate.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation is also a way to become a more mellow person and to learn to quiet all of the voices that may be agitating you throughout the day. To meditate, just find a place where you can sit down for at least 10-15 minutes and learn to relax your body, one part at a time. Close your eyes and focus on the breath rising in and out of your body. When you open them and feel alert again, you'll feel more capable of dealing with what the day throws at you.\\nThe best part is, you'll feel more capable of tackling challenges with inner calm and can return to the place you reached in meditation during any part of your day.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Music is a good way to stay calm and clear your mind.\\n\", \"Take a walk when you're tired by working.\\n\", \"Letting go is a very important thing to be mellow. Let go of things which depress you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"It will take some time before you become totally mellow. But once you become, the whole world will seem like 'palace of happiness'. Therefore, keep trying to be mellow.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,921 | How to Be Mentally Prepared Before a Game | 1. Focusing Right Before a Game
1-1. Take deep breaths to calm yourself.
If you feel yourself getting jittery and nervous, take some deep breaths. Inhale and exhale deeply, pulling from the diaphragm. This will help calm your pulse down to a healthy rate and let you focus on the game.
1-2. Go for a walk to relax.
Any light aerobic exercise can calm your nerves and boost your mood, so take a short walk if your nerves become overwhelming. Running or sprinting will use up valuable energy, so stick to 10-20 minutes of brisk walking or strolling. Light exercise releases endorphins, which can help soothe your nerves.
1-3. Listen to some music to manage strong emotions.
Whether you need some calming music to help soothe jitters or energetic music to psych you up, make or find a playlist to listen to before the game. Put some headphones in or listen on a speaker with some teammates to immerse yourself in the music.
Genres with driving beats and aggressive lyrics, such as pop, hip hop, or rap, are perfect for pumping yourself up pre-game.
Listen to instrumental music or songs with positive, inspiring lyrics if you need to help bring your nervous energy back down to a healthy level of excitement.
1-4. Meditate for 10 minutes to relax your body and mind.
If you find yourself overwhelmed and tense on game day, try a short meditation session. To practice meditating, sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and focus on deep breathing for 10-20 minutes. This can help you rein in your stress and channel it into focus.
1-5. Visualize your ideal successful performance.
Before the game, imagine successful past games or future performances. Envision yourself swishing all your shots, hitting a home run, scoring a goal, or running in a touchdown. Mentally rehearsing a successful game beforehand can give you confidence in your abilities and improve your performance.
Make the scenario as realistic as possible—imagine details such as sights, sounds, feelings, and smells. Imagine yourself being successful in this scenario over and over again.
1-6. Hydrate with water as well as sports drinks to keep your mind sharp.
Within two hours of the game, drink 17 to 20 fl oz (0.50 to 0.59 L) of water.This will hydrate your body as well as keep your mind clear and focused. Remember to also hydrate daily—teenage and adult athletes should drink at least 80 to 100 fl oz (2.4 to 3.0 L) of water a day.
You should also drink 1 or 2 sports drinks the morning of the game, such as Gatorade or Powerade, to boost your carbohydrates and electrolytes.
2. Establishing a Routine
2-1. Make a routine to distract you from the pre-game stress.
The night before the game, it’s easy to get caught up in nerves and find yourself pacing around. Instead, find 1 or 2 techniques that help calm you down. Make these techniques a simple routine to go through the night before a game, or even right before the game starts.
Many athletes listen to a certain set of songs, bounce a ball, or drink a certain beverage for their pre-game ritual to reduce jitters and condition themselves to stay calm under stress.
Avoid making your routine superstitious—you don’t need to complete a ritual in order to perform well. This routine is only meant to help keep your mind off stress before a game and focus your energy.
2-2. Practice embracing your nerves.
The flood of adrenaline that comes with pre-game nerves is exactly what you need to stay sharp and play at your peak. Anticipate that “buzz” feeling so it won’t throw you off, and embrace it.
If you start to feel that “butterflies in your stomach” sensation, take some deep breaths and tell yourself, “This is my body telling me I’m ready to play.”
2-3. Turn negative self talk into affirmations.
Be extra intentional about tracking your inner monologue during the days before a big game. Stay aware of any negativity that may stem from pressure and expectations, and take action to turn these thoughts into positive encouragements. It may feel forced at first, but even just telling yourself positive thoughts can have a powerful mental effect.
For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” turn that thought into, “I can do this. I’ve practiced and prepared for this, and I know I can do my best.”
Your inner monologue may focus on external pressure, such as “I’m going to fail in front of everyone and let my team down.” Instead, tell yourself, “I am going to work hard and try my best. I will make my team proud.”
Even just thinking basic affirmations such as “be strong,” “focus on success,” and “give everything” can psych you up and boost your confidence.
3. Maintaining Good Habits
3-1. Eat well before the game to maintain your energy level.
Game day nutrition varies depending on the sport, but generally you should be eating a low-protein, low-fat meal the night before as well as 4-6 hours before the game. You should also snack throughout the day—once 2-3 hours before the game and once an hour before the game—to keep your energy levels up.
A good game day meal could include pasta, potatoes, beans, nuts, rice, bread, and fruits.
Your snacks should be small and easily digestible, such as nuts, dried fruits, and pretzels.
3-2. Get a good night’s sleep before the game.
Quality sleep can improve your speed, accuracy, and reaction time, so it’s important to get at least a full 7 to 9 hours the night before a game. Practice deep breathing, tension relaxation cycles, and meditation to help you clear your mind, tune out a busy inner monologue, and fall asleep more easily.
Don’t eat or use your phone too close to bedtime, as these can negatively affect your sleep cycle.
3-3. Practice the skills you’ll need to succeed.
This may seem obvious, but practicing is crucial to your mental preparation and performance. When you put in practice, you can go into the game with confidence, trust in your abilities, and rely on instincts based on muscle memory.
Typically, you should practice for at least an hour 5 to 6 times a week.
3-4. Prepare yourself for any mistakes or obstacles.
Just as you would visualize your ideal performance, visualize different situations with non-ideal circumstances. Don’t focus on the negativity of these scenarios--instead, imagine how you will respond when something goes wrong. This way, you’re less likely to be surprised and thrown off when something does go wrong.
This practice also assures you, because now you’ll have a game plan for any possible outcome.
3-5. Think about the people who believe in you.
Whether that’s your parents, coach, family, or friends, keep your biggest supporters on your mind. Their confidence in you will encourage you and help you have confidence in yourself. Make a habit of thinking about your supporters whenever you’re feeling nervous or uncertain.
Envision your loved ones’ faces before you play and tell yourself, “These are people I love and admire, and they believe in me. I can do this.”
Tips
If you have a pre-game routine, don’t try to add an extra step or change it up right before a game. This could be distracting and may throw you off. Instead, plan out your routine at least a few days beforehand and practice it until it becomes second nature.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:17",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Focusing Right Before a Game\\n1-1. Take deep breaths to calm yourself.\\nIf you feel yourself getting jittery and nervous, take some deep breaths. Inhale and exhale deeply, pulling from the diaphragm. This will help calm your pulse down to a healthy rate and let you focus on the game.\\n1-2. Go for a walk to relax.\\nAny light aerobic exercise can calm your nerves and boost your mood, so take a short walk if your nerves become overwhelming. Running or sprinting will use up valuable energy, so stick to 10-20 minutes of brisk walking or strolling. Light exercise releases endorphins, which can help soothe your nerves.\\n1-3. Listen to some music to manage strong emotions.\\nWhether you need some calming music to help soothe jitters or energetic music to psych you up, make or find a playlist to listen to before the game. Put some headphones in or listen on a speaker with some teammates to immerse yourself in the music.\\nGenres with driving beats and aggressive lyrics, such as pop, hip hop, or rap, are perfect for pumping yourself up pre-game.\\nListen to instrumental music or songs with positive, inspiring lyrics if you need to help bring your nervous energy back down to a healthy level of excitement.\\n1-4. Meditate for 10 minutes to relax your body and mind.\\nIf you find yourself overwhelmed and tense on game day, try a short meditation session. To practice meditating, sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and focus on deep breathing for 10-20 minutes. This can help you rein in your stress and channel it into focus.\\n1-5. Visualize your ideal successful performance.\\nBefore the game, imagine successful past games or future performances. Envision yourself swishing all your shots, hitting a home run, scoring a goal, or running in a touchdown. Mentally rehearsing a successful game beforehand can give you confidence in your abilities and improve your performance.\\nMake the scenario as realistic as possible—imagine details such as sights, sounds, feelings, and smells. Imagine yourself being successful in this scenario over and over again.\\n1-6. Hydrate with water as well as sports drinks to keep your mind sharp.\\nWithin two hours of the game, drink 17 to 20 fl oz (0.50 to 0.59 L) of water.This will hydrate your body as well as keep your mind clear and focused. Remember to also hydrate daily—teenage and adult athletes should drink at least 80 to 100 fl oz (2.4 to 3.0 L) of water a day.\\nYou should also drink 1 or 2 sports drinks the morning of the game, such as Gatorade or Powerade, to boost your carbohydrates and electrolytes.\\n2. Establishing a Routine\\n2-1. Make a routine to distract you from the pre-game stress.\\nThe night before the game, it’s easy to get caught up in nerves and find yourself pacing around. Instead, find 1 or 2 techniques that help calm you down. Make these techniques a simple routine to go through the night before a game, or even right before the game starts.\\nMany athletes listen to a certain set of songs, bounce a ball, or drink a certain beverage for their pre-game ritual to reduce jitters and condition themselves to stay calm under stress.\\nAvoid making your routine superstitious—you don’t need to complete a ritual in order to perform well. This routine is only meant to help keep your mind off stress before a game and focus your energy.\\n2-2. Practice embracing your nerves.\\nThe flood of adrenaline that comes with pre-game nerves is exactly what you need to stay sharp and play at your peak. Anticipate that “buzz” feeling so it won’t throw you off, and embrace it.\\nIf you start to feel that “butterflies in your stomach” sensation, take some deep breaths and tell yourself, “This is my body telling me I’m ready to play.”\\n2-3. Turn negative self talk into affirmations.\\nBe extra intentional about tracking your inner monologue during the days before a big game. Stay aware of any negativity that may stem from pressure and expectations, and take action to turn these thoughts into positive encouragements. It may feel forced at first, but even just telling yourself positive thoughts can have a powerful mental effect.\\nFor example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” turn that thought into, “I can do this. I’ve practiced and prepared for this, and I know I can do my best.”\\nYour inner monologue may focus on external pressure, such as “I’m going to fail in front of everyone and let my team down.” Instead, tell yourself, “I am going to work hard and try my best. I will make my team proud.”\\nEven just thinking basic affirmations such as “be strong,” “focus on success,” and “give everything” can psych you up and boost your confidence.\\n3. Maintaining Good Habits\\n3-1. Eat well before the game to maintain your energy level.\\nGame day nutrition varies depending on the sport, but generally you should be eating a low-protein, low-fat meal the night before as well as 4-6 hours before the game. You should also snack throughout the day—once 2-3 hours before the game and once an hour before the game—to keep your energy levels up.\\nA good game day meal could include pasta, potatoes, beans, nuts, rice, bread, and fruits.\\nYour snacks should be small and easily digestible, such as nuts, dried fruits, and pretzels.\\n3-2. Get a good night’s sleep before the game.\\nQuality sleep can improve your speed, accuracy, and reaction time, so it’s important to get at least a full 7 to 9 hours the night before a game. Practice deep breathing, tension relaxation cycles, and meditation to help you clear your mind, tune out a busy inner monologue, and fall asleep more easily.\\nDon’t eat or use your phone too close to bedtime, as these can negatively affect your sleep cycle.\\n3-3. Practice the skills you’ll need to succeed.\\nThis may seem obvious, but practicing is crucial to your mental preparation and performance. When you put in practice, you can go into the game with confidence, trust in your abilities, and rely on instincts based on muscle memory.\\nTypically, you should practice for at least an hour 5 to 6 times a week.\\n3-4. Prepare yourself for any mistakes or obstacles.\\nJust as you would visualize your ideal performance, visualize different situations with non-ideal circumstances. Don’t focus on the negativity of these scenarios--instead, imagine how you will respond when something goes wrong. This way, you’re less likely to be surprised and thrown off when something does go wrong.\\nThis practice also assures you, because now you’ll have a game plan for any possible outcome.\\n3-5. Think about the people who believe in you.\\nWhether that’s your parents, coach, family, or friends, keep your biggest supporters on your mind. Their confidence in you will encourage you and help you have confidence in yourself. Make a habit of thinking about your supporters whenever you’re feeling nervous or uncertain.\\nEnvision your loved ones’ faces before you play and tell yourself, “These are people I love and admire, and they believe in me. I can do this.”\\nTips\\nIf you have a pre-game routine, don’t try to add an extra step or change it up right before a game. This could be distracting and may throw you off. Instead, plan out your routine at least a few days beforehand and practice it until it becomes second nature.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Mental preparation is an important part of an athlete’s performance. Techniques such as visualization and positive self-talk can allow you to turn negative energy into focus and confidence, which will help you play your best during a game. To mentally prepare for a big game, develop a pre-game routine, get a good night’s sleep the night before, and practice meditation for focus.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focusing Right Before a Game\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take deep breaths to calm yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel yourself getting jittery and nervous, take some deep breaths. Inhale and exhale deeply, pulling from the diaphragm. This will help calm your pulse down to a healthy rate and let you focus on the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go for a walk to relax.\", \"描述\": \"Any light aerobic exercise can calm your nerves and boost your mood, so take a short walk if your nerves become overwhelming. Running or sprinting will use up valuable energy, so stick to 10-20 minutes of brisk walking or strolling. Light exercise releases endorphins, which can help soothe your nerves.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to some music to manage strong emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you need some calming music to help soothe jitters or energetic music to psych you up, make or find a playlist to listen to before the game. Put some headphones in or listen on a speaker with some teammates to immerse yourself in the music.\\nGenres with driving beats and aggressive lyrics, such as pop, hip hop, or rap, are perfect for pumping yourself up pre-game.\\nListen to instrumental music or songs with positive, inspiring lyrics if you need to help bring your nervous energy back down to a healthy level of excitement.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Meditate for 10 minutes to relax your body and mind.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself overwhelmed and tense on game day, try a short meditation session. To practice meditating, sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and focus on deep breathing for 10-20 minutes. This can help you rein in your stress and channel it into focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Visualize your ideal successful performance.\", \"描述\": \"Before the game, imagine successful past games or future performances. Envision yourself swishing all your shots, hitting a home run, scoring a goal, or running in a touchdown. Mentally rehearsing a successful game beforehand can give you confidence in your abilities and improve your performance.\\nMake the scenario as realistic as possible—imagine details such as sights, sounds, feelings, and smells. Imagine yourself being successful in this scenario over and over again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Hydrate with water as well as sports drinks to keep your mind sharp.\", \"描述\": \"Within two hours of the game, drink 17 to 20 fl oz (0.50 to 0.59 L) of water.This will hydrate your body as well as keep your mind clear and focused. Remember to also hydrate daily—teenage and adult athletes should drink at least 80 to 100 fl oz (2.4 to 3.0 L) of water a day.\\nYou should also drink 1 or 2 sports drinks the morning of the game, such as Gatorade or Powerade, to boost your carbohydrates and electrolytes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Establishing a Routine\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a routine to distract you from the pre-game stress.\", \"描述\": \"The night before the game, it’s easy to get caught up in nerves and find yourself pacing around. Instead, find 1 or 2 techniques that help calm you down. Make these techniques a simple routine to go through the night before a game, or even right before the game starts.\\nMany athletes listen to a certain set of songs, bounce a ball, or drink a certain beverage for their pre-game ritual to reduce jitters and condition themselves to stay calm under stress.\\nAvoid making your routine superstitious—you don’t need to complete a ritual in order to perform well. This routine is only meant to help keep your mind off stress before a game and focus your energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice embracing your nerves.\", \"描述\": \"The flood of adrenaline that comes with pre-game nerves is exactly what you need to stay sharp and play at your peak. Anticipate that “buzz” feeling so it won’t throw you off, and embrace it.\\nIf you start to feel that “butterflies in your stomach” sensation, take some deep breaths and tell yourself, “This is my body telling me I’m ready to play.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn negative self talk into affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"Be extra intentional about tracking your inner monologue during the days before a big game. Stay aware of any negativity that may stem from pressure and expectations, and take action to turn these thoughts into positive encouragements. It may feel forced at first, but even just telling yourself positive thoughts can have a powerful mental effect.\\nFor example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” turn that thought into, “I can do this. I’ve practiced and prepared for this, and I know I can do my best.”\\nYour inner monologue may focus on external pressure, such as “I’m going to fail in front of everyone and let my team down.” Instead, tell yourself, “I am going to work hard and try my best. I will make my team proud.”\\nEven just thinking basic affirmations such as “be strong,” “focus on success,” and “give everything” can psych you up and boost your confidence.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Good Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat well before the game to maintain your energy level.\", \"描述\": \"Game day nutrition varies depending on the sport, but generally you should be eating a low-protein, low-fat meal the night before as well as 4-6 hours before the game. You should also snack throughout the day—once 2-3 hours before the game and once an hour before the game—to keep your energy levels up.\\nA good game day meal could include pasta, potatoes, beans, nuts, rice, bread, and fruits.\\nYour snacks should be small and easily digestible, such as nuts, dried fruits, and pretzels.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a good night’s sleep before the game.\", \"描述\": \"Quality sleep can improve your speed, accuracy, and reaction time, so it’s important to get at least a full 7 to 9 hours the night before a game. Practice deep breathing, tension relaxation cycles, and meditation to help you clear your mind, tune out a busy inner monologue, and fall asleep more easily.\\nDon’t eat or use your phone too close to bedtime, as these can negatively affect your sleep cycle.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice the skills you’ll need to succeed.\", \"描述\": \"This may seem obvious, but practicing is crucial to your mental preparation and performance. When you put in practice, you can go into the game with confidence, trust in your abilities, and rely on instincts based on muscle memory.\\nTypically, you should practice for at least an hour 5 to 6 times a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare yourself for any mistakes or obstacles.\", \"描述\": \"Just as you would visualize your ideal performance, visualize different situations with non-ideal circumstances. Don’t focus on the negativity of these scenarios--instead, imagine how you will respond when something goes wrong. This way, you’re less likely to be surprised and thrown off when something does go wrong.\\nThis practice also assures you, because now you’ll have a game plan for any possible outcome.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think about the people who believe in you.\", \"描述\": \"Whether that’s your parents, coach, family, or friends, keep your biggest supporters on your mind. Their confidence in you will encourage you and help you have confidence in yourself. Make a habit of thinking about your supporters whenever you’re feeling nervous or uncertain.\\nEnvision your loved ones’ faces before you play and tell yourself, “These are people I love and admire, and they believe in me. I can do this.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have a pre-game routine, don’t try to add an extra step or change it up right before a game. This could be distracting and may throw you off. Instead, plan out your routine at least a few days beforehand and practice it until it becomes second nature.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,922 | How to Be Mentally Prepared and Organized Before School Starts | 1. Steps
1-1. Start by setting your alarm clock a little earlier.
Begin doing this about 2 weeks before school starts. This way, you will be well adjusted to waking up early and you will be alert and ready for school. So, if you have to wake up at 6:30 set your alarm to 6:20.
1-2. Make sure you have clothes that meet with the dress-code guidelines of your school.
It is much easier to be relaxed at school if you aren't hiding your way-too-baggy pants or way-too-short skirt from the administration. The in-things or autumn fashions might be different as well so just wear some comfy clean clothing until the "must-haves" come in, then you can adapt if you want to. Don't wear anything flashy or summery for about a week beforehand, as you definitely won't be wearing that in school! Also remember that if you have been dressing like a slob in the summer then about a week beforehand, make an effort with your appearance- it will prepare you for the clothing attention.
1-3. If you don't already, start eating breakfast every morning.
This is a very important thing to do. Eating fuels up your brain with energy to get going. Research shows that kids who eat breakfast every morning get better grades than kids who don't. Try to avoid sugary cereal, which will often give you short-lived energy that will peter out by mid morning, leaving you hungry and craving more sugar. A healthy, balanced breakfast will maintain your energy through lunch time and will make you feel ready and focused for class. However, don't eat too much. It is difficult to remain calm and relaxed on the first day of school if you are being seen heading to the bathroom every five minutes.
1-4. If you receive your textbooks before the start of classes, take a look through them.
You will feel much more comfortable entering a class when you already have an idea of the material you will cover. Take extra care of your textbooks. Most schools have fee of around $50 if you damage or lose a book.If you lose your book, the teacher will identify you as a bad student, which is a complete no-no for a good student.
1-5. Buy as many of the school supplies you will need before the start of classes as possible.
This way you will already have your materials organized when you go to class. It will be easy to get the one or two extra materials your teacher may request of you. An idea of things to get:
#2 Pencils
Paper
Folders & Binders
Highlighters
Pens
Mini Stapler
Paper Clips
A Printer if you A) Don't have one B) Know you will be typing a lot of papers C) Don't want to pay the library fee.
Notebooks
Backpack
Erasers
1-6. Go to How to Organize Your Backpack for more ideas of how to get your backpack ready for school.
It's important to have this task down because it can help you stay very organized. Only put the most essential things you will need in your backpack, leave the rest that you think you will need in the locker. After all, lockers aren't only for decorating, they are actually for schoolwork. Make sure you keep the heaviest things closest to your back, the bag will seem lighter if you do this. Clean your bag every week, or every day if you prefer.Put items only for school in your backpack, phones and electronic gizmos are more likely to be confiscated. If your school allows and so do your parents to take them to school, leave them in lockers during classes or shut them off.
1-7. Get a daily or weekly planner.
They will help immensely when you start classes, and you will be able to balance classes, studying, sports, and social time much better. You will be less stressed when you can actually see that you have time set aside for the things you need to do. Put your Homework in so as not to forget it- most people find that doing it right after school is really good (it's great to know that it's done!) If your school provides you with a planner, that is the one you should use Mark the tasks done with a green sketch pen or any other color, and the ones not yet done with a red mark or with any other mark, but make sure it is not the same as the done work mark, or your confusion will touch a great height. Be sure to reward yourself after all of the tasks are marked with green, you have accomplished something today!
1-8. There are many ways to mentally prepare yourself for school.
People cannot tell you exactly how you yourself can get ready in the most effective way. But they will have ideas. Mix up different ideas and form new ones of your to find method that works best.
Don't worry about organization, look for different articles to organize yourself on wikiHow.
Don't worry if you and your crew won't stay together, meet after school or every weekend and talk in study hall and in between classes to survive the separation nation.
You should not worry about getting bullied. Chances are that the teachers will be watching what goes on in the halls. But if teachers sit somewhere else or are busy in study hall, complain to any teacher afterwards.
Relax about how you look: If you smile and simply ignore comments from people who tease you, you will be more confident.
But if there is something you want to change about yourself, do it.
Tips
This may sound stupid, and may seem like it has nothing to do with your studies, but try as hard as you can not to get into any arguments and drama with your classmates because that can really chew you up inside and you should stay focused.
Get to know your teacher and establish good terms with him or her, as it will be easier and less awkward to ask for their help in the future.
If you already have your backpack and supplies for school, try organizing the supplies into your backpack before school starts so you already have a system for that and won't have a messy backpack.
Warnings
Do not take advantage of teachers that don't count lateness. If they don't count lateness in that one class, do not just think to yourself "Oh I do not have a due date as long at it is turned in by the end of the semester for my semester grade". NO! Be on the top of it and turn in everything on time, no matter what teacher you have!
Don't procrastinate. This will only add stress and make everything seem ten times worse than it needs to be. If you need help, ask a parent, teacher, or search wikiHow for help.
It is okay if you talk to your friends about too much homework or workload or too many tests in school, but do not say a word against a teacher. They teach you, respect them. It is immoral and disrespectful, but the most dangerous situation is that one of your friends might let the cat out of the bag (he or she could tell any faculty member, authority figure, teacher, teacher you are talking about or a student council member)
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:17",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Start by setting your alarm clock a little earlier.\\nBegin doing this about 2 weeks before school starts. This way, you will be well adjusted to waking up early and you will be alert and ready for school. So, if you have to wake up at 6:30 set your alarm to 6:20.\\n1-2. Make sure you have clothes that meet with the dress-code guidelines of your school.\\nIt is much easier to be relaxed at school if you aren't hiding your way-too-baggy pants or way-too-short skirt from the administration. The in-things or autumn fashions might be different as well so just wear some comfy clean clothing until the \\\"must-haves\\\" come in, then you can adapt if you want to. Don't wear anything flashy or summery for about a week beforehand, as you definitely won't be wearing that in school! Also remember that if you have been dressing like a slob in the summer then about a week beforehand, make an effort with your appearance- it will prepare you for the clothing attention.\\n1-3. If you don't already, start eating breakfast every morning.\\nThis is a very important thing to do. Eating fuels up your brain with energy to get going. Research shows that kids who eat breakfast every morning get better grades than kids who don't. Try to avoid sugary cereal, which will often give you short-lived energy that will peter out by mid morning, leaving you hungry and craving more sugar. A healthy, balanced breakfast will maintain your energy through lunch time and will make you feel ready and focused for class. However, don't eat too much. It is difficult to remain calm and relaxed on the first day of school if you are being seen heading to the bathroom every five minutes.\\n1-4. If you receive your textbooks before the start of classes, take a look through them.\\nYou will feel much more comfortable entering a class when you already have an idea of the material you will cover. Take extra care of your textbooks. Most schools have fee of around $50 if you damage or lose a book.If you lose your book, the teacher will identify you as a bad student, which is a complete no-no for a good student.\\n1-5. Buy as many of the school supplies you will need before the start of classes as possible.\\nThis way you will already have your materials organized when you go to class. It will be easy to get the one or two extra materials your teacher may request of you. An idea of things to get:\\n#2 Pencils\\nPaper\\nFolders & Binders\\nHighlighters\\nPens\\nMini Stapler\\nPaper Clips\\nA Printer if you A) Don't have one B) Know you will be typing a lot of papers C) Don't want to pay the library fee.\\nNotebooks\\nBackpack\\nErasers\\n1-6. Go to How to Organize Your Backpack for more ideas of how to get your backpack ready for school.\\nIt's important to have this task down because it can help you stay very organized. Only put the most essential things you will need in your backpack, leave the rest that you think you will need in the locker. After all, lockers aren't only for decorating, they are actually for schoolwork. Make sure you keep the heaviest things closest to your back, the bag will seem lighter if you do this. Clean your bag every week, or every day if you prefer.Put items only for school in your backpack, phones and electronic gizmos are more likely to be confiscated. If your school allows and so do your parents to take them to school, leave them in lockers during classes or shut them off.\\n1-7. Get a daily or weekly planner.\\nThey will help immensely when you start classes, and you will be able to balance classes, studying, sports, and social time much better. You will be less stressed when you can actually see that you have time set aside for the things you need to do. Put your Homework in so as not to forget it- most people find that doing it right after school is really good (it's great to know that it's done!) If your school provides you with a planner, that is the one you should use Mark the tasks done with a green sketch pen or any other color, and the ones not yet done with a red mark or with any other mark, but make sure it is not the same as the done work mark, or your confusion will touch a great height. Be sure to reward yourself after all of the tasks are marked with green, you have accomplished something today!\\n1-8. There are many ways to mentally prepare yourself for school.\\nPeople cannot tell you exactly how you yourself can get ready in the most effective way. But they will have ideas. Mix up different ideas and form new ones of your to find method that works best.\\nDon't worry about organization, look for different articles to organize yourself on wikiHow.\\nDon't worry if you and your crew won't stay together, meet after school or every weekend and talk in study hall and in between classes to survive the separation nation.\\nYou should not worry about getting bullied. Chances are that the teachers will be watching what goes on in the halls. But if teachers sit somewhere else or are busy in study hall, complain to any teacher afterwards.\\nRelax about how you look: If you smile and simply ignore comments from people who tease you, you will be more confident.\\nBut if there is something you want to change about yourself, do it.\\nTips\\nThis may sound stupid, and may seem like it has nothing to do with your studies, but try as hard as you can not to get into any arguments and drama with your classmates because that can really chew you up inside and you should stay focused.\\nGet to know your teacher and establish good terms with him or her, as it will be easier and less awkward to ask for their help in the future.\\nIf you already have your backpack and supplies for school, try organizing the supplies into your backpack before school starts so you already have a system for that and won't have a messy backpack.\\nWarnings\\nDo not take advantage of teachers that don't count lateness. If they don't count lateness in that one class, do not just think to yourself \\\"Oh I do not have a due date as long at it is turned in by the end of the semester for my semester grade\\\". NO! Be on the top of it and turn in everything on time, no matter what teacher you have!\\nDon't procrastinate. This will only add stress and make everything seem ten times worse than it needs to be. If you need help, ask a parent, teacher, or search wikiHow for help.\\nIt is okay if you talk to your friends about too much homework or workload or too many tests in school, but do not say a word against a teacher. They teach you, respect them. It is immoral and disrespectful, but the most dangerous situation is that one of your friends might let the cat out of the bag (he or she could tell any faculty member, authority figure, teacher, teacher you are talking about or a student council member)\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The first day of school is anticipated by some and dreaded by others, but its arrival is inevitable! Here are some steps you can take to help you to mentally prepare yourself for the coming school year.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by setting your alarm clock a little earlier.\", \"描述\": \"Begin doing this about 2 weeks before school starts. This way, you will be well adjusted to waking up early and you will be alert and ready for school. So, if you have to wake up at 6:30 set your alarm to 6:20.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have clothes that meet with the dress-code guidelines of your school.\", \"描述\": \"It is much easier to be relaxed at school if you aren't hiding your way-too-baggy pants or way-too-short skirt from the administration. The in-things or autumn fashions might be different as well so just wear some comfy clean clothing until the \\\"must-haves\\\" come in, then you can adapt if you want to. Don't wear anything flashy or summery for about a week beforehand, as you definitely won't be wearing that in school! Also remember that if you have been dressing like a slob in the summer then about a week beforehand, make an effort with your appearance- it will prepare you for the clothing attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If you don't already, start eating breakfast every morning.\", \"描述\": \"This is a very important thing to do. Eating fuels up your brain with energy to get going. Research shows that kids who eat breakfast every morning get better grades than kids who don't. Try to avoid sugary cereal, which will often give you short-lived energy that will peter out by mid morning, leaving you hungry and craving more sugar. A healthy, balanced breakfast will maintain your energy through lunch time and will make you feel ready and focused for class. However, don't eat too much. It is difficult to remain calm and relaxed on the first day of school if you are being seen heading to the bathroom every five minutes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"If you receive your textbooks before the start of classes, take a look through them.\", \"描述\": \"You will feel much more comfortable entering a class when you already have an idea of the material you will cover. Take extra care of your textbooks. Most schools have fee of around $50 if you damage or lose a book.If you lose your book, the teacher will identify you as a bad student, which is a complete no-no for a good student.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Buy as many of the school supplies you will need before the start of classes as possible.\", \"描述\": \"This way you will already have your materials organized when you go to class. It will be easy to get the one or two extra materials your teacher may request of you. An idea of things to get:\\n#2 Pencils\\nPaper\\nFolders & Binders\\nHighlighters\\nPens\\nMini Stapler\\nPaper Clips\\nA Printer if you A) Don't have one B) Know you will be typing a lot of papers C) Don't want to pay the library fee.\\nNotebooks\\nBackpack\\nErasers\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go to How to Organize Your Backpack for more ideas of how to get your backpack ready for school.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to have this task down because it can help you stay very organized. Only put the most essential things you will need in your backpack, leave the rest that you think you will need in the locker. After all, lockers aren't only for decorating, they are actually for schoolwork. Make sure you keep the heaviest things closest to your back, the bag will seem lighter if you do this. Clean your bag every week, or every day if you prefer.Put items only for school in your backpack, phones and electronic gizmos are more likely to be confiscated. If your school allows and so do your parents to take them to school, leave them in lockers during classes or shut them off.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get a daily or weekly planner.\", \"描述\": \"They will help immensely when you start classes, and you will be able to balance classes, studying, sports, and social time much better. You will be less stressed when you can actually see that you have time set aside for the things you need to do. Put your Homework in so as not to forget it- most people find that doing it right after school is really good (it's great to know that it's done!) If your school provides you with a planner, that is the one you should use Mark the tasks done with a green sketch pen or any other color, and the ones not yet done with a red mark or with any other mark, but make sure it is not the same as the done work mark, or your confusion will touch a great height. Be sure to reward yourself after all of the tasks are marked with green, you have accomplished something today!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"There are many ways to mentally prepare yourself for school.\", \"描述\": \"People cannot tell you exactly how you yourself can get ready in the most effective way. But they will have ideas. Mix up different ideas and form new ones of your to find method that works best.\\nDon't worry about organization, look for different articles to organize yourself on wikiHow.\\nDon't worry if you and your crew won't stay together, meet after school or every weekend and talk in study hall and in between classes to survive the separation nation.\\nYou should not worry about getting bullied. Chances are that the teachers will be watching what goes on in the halls. But if teachers sit somewhere else or are busy in study hall, complain to any teacher afterwards.\\nRelax about how you look: If you smile and simply ignore comments from people who tease you, you will be more confident.\\nBut if there is something you want to change about yourself, do it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"This may sound stupid, and may seem like it has nothing to do with your studies, but try as hard as you can not to get into any arguments and drama with your classmates because that can really chew you up inside and you should stay focused.\\n\", \"Get to know your teacher and establish good terms with him or her, as it will be easier and less awkward to ask for their help in the future.\\n\", \"If you already have your backpack and supplies for school, try organizing the supplies into your backpack before school starts so you already have a system for that and won't have a messy backpack.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not take advantage of teachers that don't count lateness. If they don't count lateness in that one class, do not just think to yourself \\\"Oh I do not have a due date as long at it is turned in by the end of the semester for my semester grade\\\". NO! Be on the top of it and turn in everything on time, no matter what teacher you have!\\n\", \"Don't procrastinate. This will only add stress and make everything seem ten times worse than it needs to be. If you need help, ask a parent, teacher, or search wikiHow for help.\\n\", \"It is okay if you talk to your friends about too much homework or workload or too many tests in school, but do not say a word against a teacher. They teach you, respect them. It is immoral and disrespectful, but the most dangerous situation is that one of your friends might let the cat out of the bag (he or she could tell any faculty member, authority figure, teacher, teacher you are talking about or a student council member)\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,923 | How to Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong | 1. Identifying Challenges and Setting Goals
1-1. Understand what it means to be emotionally resilient.
Being emotionally and mentally strong, or resilient, means adapting well to things like stress, trauma, adversity, or tragedy. Resilience is not something you are born with — it is a process that can be learned by anyone, and is found in ordinary people.
Being emotionally strong doesn't mean you don't experience pain or suffering — resiliency is often learned when one is faced with an extremely painful situation. What it does mean is that you learn to rebuild or "bounce back" from these experiences.
To develop resiliency, you will want to focus on building particular skills, such as: making plans and carrying them out, developing confidence and a positive view of yourself, learning to manage strong feelings and impulses, and learning to communicate and solve problems efficiently.
1-2. Learn about emotional regulation.
Learning to manage your emotions is another important part of becoming emotionally and mentally strong. You may not be able to control what life throws at you, but you always have a choice about how you react. Again, this is something that is not innate; anyone can learn to manage his or her emotions productively.
1-3. Identify specific areas that you would like to change.
Before you can build up your mental and emotional strength, you will need to take an inventory of your strengths and challenges to determine what you would like to change. Make a list of as many of your strengths and challenges as you can think of. Once you have finished your list, figure out how to turn each of your challenges into a goal that you can work towards.
For example, you might have included on your list of challenges that you have difficulty asserting your needs. If you want to work on this issue, you would say that your goal is to become more assertive.
1-4. Acknowledge your strengths.
In addition to identifying areas for change, you should take time to celebrate your strengths. Read through the list of your strengths and congratulate yourself for these positive traits. Giving yourself a little pat on the back now and then will help you to stay focused on your positive qualities and help build up your mental and emotional strength.
1-5. Consider your past experiences.
The reason why you might be feeling like you lack mental or emotional strength may be linked to something that happened to you in the past. Whether this thing happened just a few months ago or when you were very young, it may be affecting your mental and emotional strength. Research has shown that children who are abused, neglected, or otherwise endangered are more likely have emotional and mental issues, which may cause them to abuse drugs or attempt suicide.
Try to determine if negative childhood experiences may be contributing to your mental and emotional states. Consider how and why those experiences may have affected you the way that they have.
You may need to talk to a therapist about your childhood experiences in order to fully understand them, deal with them, and move on.
1-6. Determine if you have an addiction that requires treatment.
An addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc, may be damaging to your mental health. If you think that you are addicted to something, seek help to get rid of your bad habits. you may require treatment if your addiction is severe. Talk to a therapist or a doctor if you think that an addiction may be damaging your mental and emotional strength.
1-7. Track your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
Journaling can help you to understand what may have caused you to experience these challenges, and it is also a great way to relieve stress. To get started with journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to devote about 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing about how you are feeling or what you are thinking, or you can use a prompt. Some prompts and starting points you might use include:
“I feel powerless when…”
“My biggest challenge is...”
“Something I could work on is...”
“If I could talk to myself when I was a child, I would say…”
“When I am feeling low, the nicest thing I could do or say to myself is…”
1-8. Consider talking to a therapist.
Without help, it may be hard to figure out why you feel you are struggling and determine the best way to deal with your feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand your feelings and help you work through them.
Keep in mind that feeling mentally and emotionally fragile may be part of an underlying mental health condition that requires treatment. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what is going on and decide on the best course of action.
2. Staying Even-Keeled
2-1. Stay away from vices that disturb your mental peace.
If you're toying with your mental health by drinking, doing drugs, stealing, lying, and so on, you're detracting from your ability to be emotionally and mentally strong. Start phasing these vices out of your life, or at least limit them so they don't control your behaviour and emotions. If you have an addiction, get help.
2-2. Take good care of yourself.
Exercise, healthy food, rest, and relaxation will help you to develop and maintain your mental and emotional strength. By taking good care of yourself, you are sending your mind signals that you deserve to be taken care of. Make sure that you are devoting enough time to meeting your basic needs for exercise, food, sleep, and relaxation.
Exercise regularly. Aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day.
Eat a balanced diet of healthy whole foods like fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
Get eight hours of sleep per night.
Set aside at least 15 minutes per day to practice yoga, do deep breathing exercises, or meditate.
Drink plenty of water, at least eight glasses a day, more if you are exercising and sweating.
2-3. Enrich your mind.
Challenge yourself to keep learning all the time. You'll get mentally stronger and wiser the more knowledge you accrue. Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut, either mental or physical. Be curious, aware, and informed about the world.
Read books, watch good films, go to concerts, go to plays, watch ballets, and take in art in some form.
Make your own art. Write, paint, make music, do sculpture, knit — anything that stimulates your creative side.
Learn new skills. Branch out in the kitchen, do some DIY projects around the home, plant a garden, learn how to drive a manual car, learn how to fish, train to run a 5K.
Talk to people. Have deep conversations that go beyond small talk. Learn people's histories and share your own.
2-4. Work on your spiritual side
Many people gain strength from paying attention to their spirituality. Having a connection to something greater than yourself - whatever that may be - can imbue the spirit with strength and a sense of purpose. Research has shown that spirituality and prayer help to relieve stress and decrease healing times during an illness. Spirituality can take many different forms, and it's important to find the one that works for you. There's no right way to be spiritual.
Consider going to a place of worship to pray with other people.
Get into meditation or yoga.
Spend time in nature and admire the beauty of the natural world.
3. Building Mental and Emotional Strength
3-1. Set reasonable goals and follow through with them.
You can practice building mental strength by setting meaningful goals and working to accomplish them, step by step. Getting from one step to the next requires applying yourself, working through boredom or pain, and sticking it out until you've made it. That's no easy feat, and the more you practice, the better you'll get at achieving your goals.
If you have big goals that seem unattainable, break them down into smaller doable steps. For example, if you want to work on becoming more assertive, you could set a goal to speak up for yourself three times per week. These instances could be as minor as telling your partner that you want to go to dinner at a specific restaurant, rather than deferring to your partner’s choice.
Have a "stick with it" attitude. Decide that even if you have a setback, you're going to keep trying, whether the goal in question is keeping a job, finishing a project, managing your finances, and so on.
See failures as learning opportunities. Failures are simply temporary setbacks full of lessons for us to learn.
3-2. Make yourself strong against negativity.
Negativity can come at you in different ways: it can be from within, in the form of negative thoughts and harmful self-talk, or from the outside, as negative feedback or abuse from other people. While it is beyond a person's control to ever fully remove negativity from her life, there are ways to manage it.
Manage negative thoughts by learning to identify and challenge them. Learn more by reading Deal with Negative Thoughts.
While you may be able to minimize your contact with negative or toxic people — you may even be able to excise them from your life entirely — sometimes these people are family members, coworkers, or other people you must interact with. Instead of taking their negativity to heart, you can learn how to not engage and set boundaries with that person. This wikiHow article, How to Deal with Negative People, is a fantastic resource to teach you how to do this.
3-3. Use positive self-talk to build your mental and emotional strength.
Positive daily affirmations can help you develop your mental and emotional strength. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:
"I am working on being emotionally strong every day."
"I am learning more productive ways to manage my stress and be kind to myself."
"I know that if I take little steps towards this goal every day, I will feel more emotionally and mentally strong."
3-4. Learn to stay calm under pressure.
When a situation starts to escalate and you can feel your emotions threatening to boil over. When you contain yourself a bit instead of being impulsive and reactive, you have more time to weigh your options and figure out the wisest way forward.
Taking time to count to 10 sounds like a cliché, but it really works. Before you have an emotional reaction to something, pause, take a deep breath, and think it through.
Practicing meditation may be helpful in helping you remain calm, as it teaches you to be more objective about your emotions and thoughts. Instead of reacting, you are able to look at thoughts and emotions and say, "Okay, I'm feeling really frustrated right now," and then figure out how what to do next.
3-5. Let go of the little things.
If you're sensitive to the small annoyances and verbal barbs we all encounter on a daily basis, you will end up devoting time and energy to things that, ultimately, don't matter. When you dwell on these little things and give them your attention or treat them as a major hassle, you not only increase your stress, but you may be increasing your mortality risk. Learning to adjust your attitude so that you take those small, everyday stresses in stride will help keep your stress hormone (cortisol) under control, protecting you from things like lower immune function, increased blood pressure and cholesterol, and an increased risk of heart disease.
Instead of stressing out, develop the healthy habit of thinking about what's bothering you, calming down, and deciding the best, healthiest, most productive way of dealing with it.
For instance, if your husband always forgets to put the cap on the toothpaste, realize that it might not be as important to him as it is to you. You can choose how to deal with the situation — put the cap on the toothpaste yourself and think about all the other ways your husband contributes in the house, or put a (nice) note on the wall as a gentle reminder.
Be aware of perfectionism, which may cause you to have extremely high and often unrealistic expectations of yourself and how your day goes, often forgetting to factor in the many things that affect your day that are beyond your control.
Try a visualization exercise to let go of little things that are bothering you. Hold a small stone in your hand and imagine that it contains the thing that is bothering you. Concentrate on that negative thing and squeeze the rock very tightly. Then, when you are ready, throw the rock away. Toss it into a pond or far into a field. As you do so, imagine that you are also casting away this thing and all of the negative feelings that you have along with it.
3-6. Change your perspective.
If you tend to get wrapped up in your own problems, find ways to get a different perspective on your life and all its possibilities. Everyone hits a dead-end from time to time; those who have emotional and mental strength are able to find another way to get where they're going. If you're having trouble getting out of your own head, try these techniques:
Read more. Reading the news or a novel lets you enter into others' worlds, serving as a good reminder that the world is a big place and your problems are but a drop in the bucket.
Volunteer. Interact with people who need your help. Some studies have shown that volunteering has a wide range of benefits for your mental and physical health.
Listen to a friend. Hear out someone who really needs your advice. Put yourself in that person's shoes and give the best, most genuine advice you have.
Travel. Getting out of your comfort zone can really help you get perspective on your situation. Go somewhere new, even if it's just a few towns over.
3-7. Have a positive outlook.
Mentally and emotionally strong people tend not to complain very much. They have as many troubles as everyone else, but they take them in stride and see the bigger picture. Being positive about what's going well in your life, and about the possibilities the future holds, will provide you with more mental and emotional strength to tackle difficult situations. Some studies have even shown that having a positive outlook can benefit your physical health as well.
Let yourself be in the moment during happy times. Try to enjoy your family, friends, pets, and so on as much as possible.
Look for the positive in difficult situations. There is always something to be learned.
3-8. Be honest with yourself.
Being able to face reality might be the biggest sign of a person's emotional and mental strength. If you're going to overcome an obstacle, you need to be able to take it head-on. Lying to yourself about what's going on will only end up hurting you in the end.
If you have escapist tendencies, like watching too much TV as a way to avoid your problems, recognize your bad habits and work to overcome them.
Be honest with yourself about your challenges.
4. Dealing With Life Situations
4-1. Think before you act.
When you're faced with a difficult situation, take as long as you need to think it through before you react or make a decision. This gives you time to get your emotions under control and weigh your options, and it's mandatory no matter what situation you're dealing with.
If you can, take time to evaluate the situation, writing down how you are feeling. Try to identify at least one positive thing about the situation, no matter how small. Changing your thinking in this minor way can make a huge difference.
Remember to take at least 10 seconds to let something set in before you speak. Even if your girlfriend just told you she wants to break up, you can spare 10 seconds to compose yourself before you respond. In the end, you'll be glad you did.
4-2. Examine all angles.
In your composed state, before you decide what to do, think clearly about the situation at hand. What exactly happened? What are the possible paths that could be taken? There's always more than one way to handle a problem.
Let's say a friend has asked you to participate in illegal activity, and you're not sure how to choose between staying loyal to your friend and obeying the law. Weigh the pros and cons of both courses you could take. Is your friend really a friend if he's asking you to break the law? Or is the law standing in the way of true justice?
4-3. Determine the right path and take it.
Use your conscience as your guide. Research has shown that people who make decisions based on what their instincts tell them to do tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who carefully weigh them out. Sometimes the answer will be clear, and sometimes it will be extremely difficult to figure out the right thing to do. Don't let the problem fester and get out of hand; make a decision and go for it.
Consult with others you trust. It's completely fine to ask others' opinions if you're not sure what course to take. Just don't let them sway you into doing the wrong thing.
Think about what someone you admire would do. It should be someone who is level-headed, honest and good-hearted. What would that person do?
Ultimately, you will need to take responsibility for your actions. Make the best decision you can make — something you can live with.
4-4. Reflect on your experiences.
After you encounter a difficult situation, consider what happened, how you handled it, and how it all turned out. Are you proud of how you behaved? Is there something you would do differently if you could? Try to learn as much as you can from your experiences. Wisdom is only gained through this type of practice. Examining what happened, rather than just trying to put it out of your head, will help you know what to do next time you face a challenge.
If things didn't turn out as planned, that's okay. Remind yourself that things don't always go smoothly and that you won't always get exactly what you want; this is true for everyone, no matter how fantastic their life may appear.
Tips
Steer clear of people who disrespect you and make you feel weak.
Try meditation to stay focused and calm.
Try to work on living more "in the moment", thinking less about what bothered you in the past, and what is concerning you about the future.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:17",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Identifying Challenges and Setting Goals\\n1-1. Understand what it means to be emotionally resilient.\\nBeing emotionally and mentally strong, or resilient, means adapting well to things like stress, trauma, adversity, or tragedy. Resilience is not something you are born with — it is a process that can be learned by anyone, and is found in ordinary people.\\nBeing emotionally strong doesn't mean you don't experience pain or suffering — resiliency is often learned when one is faced with an extremely painful situation. What it does mean is that you learn to rebuild or \\\"bounce back\\\" from these experiences.\\nTo develop resiliency, you will want to focus on building particular skills, such as: making plans and carrying them out, developing confidence and a positive view of yourself, learning to manage strong feelings and impulses, and learning to communicate and solve problems efficiently.\\n1-2. Learn about emotional regulation.\\nLearning to manage your emotions is another important part of becoming emotionally and mentally strong. You may not be able to control what life throws at you, but you always have a choice about how you react. Again, this is something that is not innate; anyone can learn to manage his or her emotions productively.\\n1-3. Identify specific areas that you would like to change.\\nBefore you can build up your mental and emotional strength, you will need to take an inventory of your strengths and challenges to determine what you would like to change. Make a list of as many of your strengths and challenges as you can think of. Once you have finished your list, figure out how to turn each of your challenges into a goal that you can work towards.\\nFor example, you might have included on your list of challenges that you have difficulty asserting your needs. If you want to work on this issue, you would say that your goal is to become more assertive.\\n1-4. Acknowledge your strengths.\\nIn addition to identifying areas for change, you should take time to celebrate your strengths. Read through the list of your strengths and congratulate yourself for these positive traits. Giving yourself a little pat on the back now and then will help you to stay focused on your positive qualities and help build up your mental and emotional strength.\\n1-5. Consider your past experiences.\\nThe reason why you might be feeling like you lack mental or emotional strength may be linked to something that happened to you in the past. Whether this thing happened just a few months ago or when you were very young, it may be affecting your mental and emotional strength. Research has shown that children who are abused, neglected, or otherwise endangered are more likely have emotional and mental issues, which may cause them to abuse drugs or attempt suicide.\\nTry to determine if negative childhood experiences may be contributing to your mental and emotional states. Consider how and why those experiences may have affected you the way that they have.\\nYou may need to talk to a therapist about your childhood experiences in order to fully understand them, deal with them, and move on.\\n1-6. Determine if you have an addiction that requires treatment.\\nAn addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc, may be damaging to your mental health. If you think that you are addicted to something, seek help to get rid of your bad habits. you may require treatment if your addiction is severe. Talk to a therapist or a doctor if you think that an addiction may be damaging your mental and emotional strength.\\n1-7. Track your thoughts and feelings in a journal.\\nJournaling can help you to understand what may have caused you to experience these challenges, and it is also a great way to relieve stress. To get started with journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to devote about 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing about how you are feeling or what you are thinking, or you can use a prompt. Some prompts and starting points you might use include:\\n“I feel powerless when…”\\n“My biggest challenge is...”\\n“Something I could work on is...”\\n“If I could talk to myself when I was a child, I would say…”\\n“When I am feeling low, the nicest thing I could do or say to myself is…”\\n1-8. Consider talking to a therapist.\\nWithout help, it may be hard to figure out why you feel you are struggling and determine the best way to deal with your feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand your feelings and help you work through them.\\nKeep in mind that feeling mentally and emotionally fragile may be part of an underlying mental health condition that requires treatment. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what is going on and decide on the best course of action.\\n2. Staying Even-Keeled\\n2-1. Stay away from vices that disturb your mental peace.\\nIf you're toying with your mental health by drinking, doing drugs, stealing, lying, and so on, you're detracting from your ability to be emotionally and mentally strong. Start phasing these vices out of your life, or at least limit them so they don't control your behaviour and emotions. If you have an addiction, get help.\\n2-2. Take good care of yourself.\\nExercise, healthy food, rest, and relaxation will help you to develop and maintain your mental and emotional strength. By taking good care of yourself, you are sending your mind signals that you deserve to be taken care of. Make sure that you are devoting enough time to meeting your basic needs for exercise, food, sleep, and relaxation.\\nExercise regularly. Aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day.\\nEat a balanced diet of healthy whole foods like fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.\\nGet eight hours of sleep per night.\\nSet aside at least 15 minutes per day to practice yoga, do deep breathing exercises, or meditate.\\nDrink plenty of water, at least eight glasses a day, more if you are exercising and sweating.\\n2-3. Enrich your mind.\\nChallenge yourself to keep learning all the time. You'll get mentally stronger and wiser the more knowledge you accrue. Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut, either mental or physical. Be curious, aware, and informed about the world.\\nRead books, watch good films, go to concerts, go to plays, watch ballets, and take in art in some form.\\nMake your own art. Write, paint, make music, do sculpture, knit — anything that stimulates your creative side.\\nLearn new skills. Branch out in the kitchen, do some DIY projects around the home, plant a garden, learn how to drive a manual car, learn how to fish, train to run a 5K.\\nTalk to people. Have deep conversations that go beyond small talk. Learn people's histories and share your own.\\n2-4. Work on your spiritual side\\nMany people gain strength from paying attention to their spirituality. Having a connection to something greater than yourself - whatever that may be - can imbue the spirit with strength and a sense of purpose. Research has shown that spirituality and prayer help to relieve stress and decrease healing times during an illness. Spirituality can take many different forms, and it's important to find the one that works for you. There's no right way to be spiritual.\\nConsider going to a place of worship to pray with other people.\\nGet into meditation or yoga.\\nSpend time in nature and admire the beauty of the natural world.\\n3. Building Mental and Emotional Strength\\n3-1. Set reasonable goals and follow through with them.\\nYou can practice building mental strength by setting meaningful goals and working to accomplish them, step by step. Getting from one step to the next requires applying yourself, working through boredom or pain, and sticking it out until you've made it. That's no easy feat, and the more you practice, the better you'll get at achieving your goals.\\nIf you have big goals that seem unattainable, break them down into smaller doable steps. For example, if you want to work on becoming more assertive, you could set a goal to speak up for yourself three times per week. These instances could be as minor as telling your partner that you want to go to dinner at a specific restaurant, rather than deferring to your partner’s choice.\\nHave a \\\"stick with it\\\" attitude. Decide that even if you have a setback, you're going to keep trying, whether the goal in question is keeping a job, finishing a project, managing your finances, and so on.\\nSee failures as learning opportunities. Failures are simply temporary setbacks full of lessons for us to learn.\\n3-2. Make yourself strong against negativity.\\nNegativity can come at you in different ways: it can be from within, in the form of negative thoughts and harmful self-talk, or from the outside, as negative feedback or abuse from other people. While it is beyond a person's control to ever fully remove negativity from her life, there are ways to manage it.\\nManage negative thoughts by learning to identify and challenge them. Learn more by reading Deal with Negative Thoughts.\\nWhile you may be able to minimize your contact with negative or toxic people — you may even be able to excise them from your life entirely — sometimes these people are family members, coworkers, or other people you must interact with. Instead of taking their negativity to heart, you can learn how to not engage and set boundaries with that person. This wikiHow article, How to Deal with Negative People, is a fantastic resource to teach you how to do this.\\n3-3. Use positive self-talk to build your mental and emotional strength.\\nPositive daily affirmations can help you develop your mental and emotional strength. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:\\n\\\"I am working on being emotionally strong every day.\\\"\\n\\\"I am learning more productive ways to manage my stress and be kind to myself.\\\"\\n\\\"I know that if I take little steps towards this goal every day, I will feel more emotionally and mentally strong.\\\"\\n3-4. Learn to stay calm under pressure.\\nWhen a situation starts to escalate and you can feel your emotions threatening to boil over. When you contain yourself a bit instead of being impulsive and reactive, you have more time to weigh your options and figure out the wisest way forward.\\nTaking time to count to 10 sounds like a cliché, but it really works. Before you have an emotional reaction to something, pause, take a deep breath, and think it through.\\nPracticing meditation may be helpful in helping you remain calm, as it teaches you to be more objective about your emotions and thoughts. Instead of reacting, you are able to look at thoughts and emotions and say, \\\"Okay, I'm feeling really frustrated right now,\\\" and then figure out how what to do next.\\n3-5. Let go of the little things.\\nIf you're sensitive to the small annoyances and verbal barbs we all encounter on a daily basis, you will end up devoting time and energy to things that, ultimately, don't matter. When you dwell on these little things and give them your attention or treat them as a major hassle, you not only increase your stress, but you may be increasing your mortality risk. Learning to adjust your attitude so that you take those small, everyday stresses in stride will help keep your stress hormone (cortisol) under control, protecting you from things like lower immune function, increased blood pressure and cholesterol, and an increased risk of heart disease.\\nInstead of stressing out, develop the healthy habit of thinking about what's bothering you, calming down, and deciding the best, healthiest, most productive way of dealing with it.\\nFor instance, if your husband always forgets to put the cap on the toothpaste, realize that it might not be as important to him as it is to you. You can choose how to deal with the situation — put the cap on the toothpaste yourself and think about all the other ways your husband contributes in the house, or put a (nice) note on the wall as a gentle reminder.\\nBe aware of perfectionism, which may cause you to have extremely high and often unrealistic expectations of yourself and how your day goes, often forgetting to factor in the many things that affect your day that are beyond your control.\\nTry a visualization exercise to let go of little things that are bothering you. Hold a small stone in your hand and imagine that it contains the thing that is bothering you. Concentrate on that negative thing and squeeze the rock very tightly. Then, when you are ready, throw the rock away. Toss it into a pond or far into a field. As you do so, imagine that you are also casting away this thing and all of the negative feelings that you have along with it.\\n3-6. Change your perspective.\\nIf you tend to get wrapped up in your own problems, find ways to get a different perspective on your life and all its possibilities. Everyone hits a dead-end from time to time; those who have emotional and mental strength are able to find another way to get where they're going. If you're having trouble getting out of your own head, try these techniques:\\nRead more. Reading the news or a novel lets you enter into others' worlds, serving as a good reminder that the world is a big place and your problems are but a drop in the bucket.\\nVolunteer. Interact with people who need your help. Some studies have shown that volunteering has a wide range of benefits for your mental and physical health.\\nListen to a friend. Hear out someone who really needs your advice. Put yourself in that person's shoes and give the best, most genuine advice you have.\\nTravel. Getting out of your comfort zone can really help you get perspective on your situation. Go somewhere new, even if it's just a few towns over.\\n3-7. Have a positive outlook.\\nMentally and emotionally strong people tend not to complain very much. They have as many troubles as everyone else, but they take them in stride and see the bigger picture. Being positive about what's going well in your life, and about the possibilities the future holds, will provide you with more mental and emotional strength to tackle difficult situations. Some studies have even shown that having a positive outlook can benefit your physical health as well. \\nLet yourself be in the moment during happy times. Try to enjoy your family, friends, pets, and so on as much as possible.\\nLook for the positive in difficult situations. There is always something to be learned.\\n3-8. Be honest with yourself.\\nBeing able to face reality might be the biggest sign of a person's emotional and mental strength. If you're going to overcome an obstacle, you need to be able to take it head-on. Lying to yourself about what's going on will only end up hurting you in the end.\\nIf you have escapist tendencies, like watching too much TV as a way to avoid your problems, recognize your bad habits and work to overcome them.\\nBe honest with yourself about your challenges.\\n4. Dealing With Life Situations\\n4-1. Think before you act.\\nWhen you're faced with a difficult situation, take as long as you need to think it through before you react or make a decision. This gives you time to get your emotions under control and weigh your options, and it's mandatory no matter what situation you're dealing with.\\nIf you can, take time to evaluate the situation, writing down how you are feeling. Try to identify at least one positive thing about the situation, no matter how small. Changing your thinking in this minor way can make a huge difference.\\nRemember to take at least 10 seconds to let something set in before you speak. Even if your girlfriend just told you she wants to break up, you can spare 10 seconds to compose yourself before you respond. In the end, you'll be glad you did.\\n4-2. Examine all angles.\\nIn your composed state, before you decide what to do, think clearly about the situation at hand. What exactly happened? What are the possible paths that could be taken? There's always more than one way to handle a problem.\\nLet's say a friend has asked you to participate in illegal activity, and you're not sure how to choose between staying loyal to your friend and obeying the law. Weigh the pros and cons of both courses you could take. Is your friend really a friend if he's asking you to break the law? Or is the law standing in the way of true justice?\\n4-3. Determine the right path and take it.\\nUse your conscience as your guide. Research has shown that people who make decisions based on what their instincts tell them to do tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who carefully weigh them out. Sometimes the answer will be clear, and sometimes it will be extremely difficult to figure out the right thing to do. Don't let the problem fester and get out of hand; make a decision and go for it.\\nConsult with others you trust. It's completely fine to ask others' opinions if you're not sure what course to take. Just don't let them sway you into doing the wrong thing.\\nThink about what someone you admire would do. It should be someone who is level-headed, honest and good-hearted. What would that person do?\\nUltimately, you will need to take responsibility for your actions. Make the best decision you can make — something you can live with.\\n4-4. Reflect on your experiences.\\nAfter you encounter a difficult situation, consider what happened, how you handled it, and how it all turned out. Are you proud of how you behaved? Is there something you would do differently if you could? Try to learn as much as you can from your experiences. Wisdom is only gained through this type of practice. Examining what happened, rather than just trying to put it out of your head, will help you know what to do next time you face a challenge.\\nIf things didn't turn out as planned, that's okay. Remind yourself that things don't always go smoothly and that you won't always get exactly what you want; this is true for everyone, no matter how fantastic their life may appear.\\nTips\\nSteer clear of people who disrespect you and make you feel weak.\\nTry meditation to stay focused and calm.\\nTry to work on living more \\\"in the moment\\\", thinking less about what bothered you in the past, and what is concerning you about the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When we’re not able to handle the curveballs life throws at us, things can feel pretty chaotic and out of our control. Sometimes, we feel as if we can't deal with these setbacks. The good news is: you totally can! Anyone can become mentally and emotionally stronger. You just need to work on building your confidence and resiliency and learn how to walk over the bad things that will come to you. It's a journey that doesn't happen overnight, but soon you'll notice a difference in how you handle setbacks.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identifying Challenges and Setting Goals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what it means to be emotionally resilient.\", \"描述\": \"Being emotionally and mentally strong, or resilient, means adapting well to things like stress, trauma, adversity, or tragedy. Resilience is not something you are born with — it is a process that can be learned by anyone, and is found in ordinary people.\\nBeing emotionally strong doesn't mean you don't experience pain or suffering — resiliency is often learned when one is faced with an extremely painful situation. What it does mean is that you learn to rebuild or \\\"bounce back\\\" from these experiences.\\nTo develop resiliency, you will want to focus on building particular skills, such as: making plans and carrying them out, developing confidence and a positive view of yourself, learning to manage strong feelings and impulses, and learning to communicate and solve problems efficiently.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn about emotional regulation.\", \"描述\": \"Learning to manage your emotions is another important part of becoming emotionally and mentally strong. You may not be able to control what life throws at you, but you always have a choice about how you react. Again, this is something that is not innate; anyone can learn to manage his or her emotions productively.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify specific areas that you would like to change.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can build up your mental and emotional strength, you will need to take an inventory of your strengths and challenges to determine what you would like to change. Make a list of as many of your strengths and challenges as you can think of. Once you have finished your list, figure out how to turn each of your challenges into a goal that you can work towards.\\nFor example, you might have included on your list of challenges that you have difficulty asserting your needs. If you want to work on this issue, you would say that your goal is to become more assertive.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to identifying areas for change, you should take time to celebrate your strengths. Read through the list of your strengths and congratulate yourself for these positive traits. Giving yourself a little pat on the back now and then will help you to stay focused on your positive qualities and help build up your mental and emotional strength.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider your past experiences.\", \"描述\": \"The reason why you might be feeling like you lack mental or emotional strength may be linked to something that happened to you in the past. Whether this thing happened just a few months ago or when you were very young, it may be affecting your mental and emotional strength. Research has shown that children who are abused, neglected, or otherwise endangered are more likely have emotional and mental issues, which may cause them to abuse drugs or attempt suicide.\\nTry to determine if negative childhood experiences may be contributing to your mental and emotional states. Consider how and why those experiences may have affected you the way that they have.\\nYou may need to talk to a therapist about your childhood experiences in order to fully understand them, deal with them, and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Determine if you have an addiction that requires treatment.\", \"描述\": \"An addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc, may be damaging to your mental health. If you think that you are addicted to something, seek help to get rid of your bad habits. you may require treatment if your addiction is severe. Talk to a therapist or a doctor if you think that an addiction may be damaging your mental and emotional strength.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Track your thoughts and feelings in a journal.\", \"描述\": \"Journaling can help you to understand what may have caused you to experience these challenges, and it is also a great way to relieve stress. To get started with journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to devote about 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing about how you are feeling or what you are thinking, or you can use a prompt. Some prompts and starting points you might use include:\\n“I feel powerless when…”\\n“My biggest challenge is...”\\n“Something I could work on is...”\\n“If I could talk to myself when I was a child, I would say…”\\n“When I am feeling low, the nicest thing I could do or say to myself is…”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Consider talking to a therapist.\", \"描述\": \"Without help, it may be hard to figure out why you feel you are struggling and determine the best way to deal with your feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand your feelings and help you work through them.\\nKeep in mind that feeling mentally and emotionally fragile may be part of an underlying mental health condition that requires treatment. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what is going on and decide on the best course of action.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Even-Keeled\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay away from vices that disturb your mental peace.\", \"描述\": \"If you're toying with your mental health by drinking, doing drugs, stealing, lying, and so on, you're detracting from your ability to be emotionally and mentally strong. Start phasing these vices out of your life, or at least limit them so they don't control your behaviour and emotions. If you have an addiction, get help.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take good care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise, healthy food, rest, and relaxation will help you to develop and maintain your mental and emotional strength. By taking good care of yourself, you are sending your mind signals that you deserve to be taken care of. Make sure that you are devoting enough time to meeting your basic needs for exercise, food, sleep, and relaxation.\\nExercise regularly. Aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day.\\nEat a balanced diet of healthy whole foods like fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.\\nGet eight hours of sleep per night.\\nSet aside at least 15 minutes per day to practice yoga, do deep breathing exercises, or meditate.\\nDrink plenty of water, at least eight glasses a day, more if you are exercising and sweating.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enrich your mind.\", \"描述\": \"Challenge yourself to keep learning all the time. You'll get mentally stronger and wiser the more knowledge you accrue. Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut, either mental or physical. Be curious, aware, and informed about the world.\\nRead books, watch good films, go to concerts, go to plays, watch ballets, and take in art in some form.\\nMake your own art. Write, paint, make music, do sculpture, knit — anything that stimulates your creative side.\\nLearn new skills. Branch out in the kitchen, do some DIY projects around the home, plant a garden, learn how to drive a manual car, learn how to fish, train to run a 5K.\\nTalk to people. Have deep conversations that go beyond small talk. Learn people's histories and share your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on your spiritual side\", \"描述\": \"Many people gain strength from paying attention to their spirituality. Having a connection to something greater than yourself - whatever that may be - can imbue the spirit with strength and a sense of purpose. Research has shown that spirituality and prayer help to relieve stress and decrease healing times during an illness. Spirituality can take many different forms, and it's important to find the one that works for you. There's no right way to be spiritual.\\nConsider going to a place of worship to pray with other people.\\nGet into meditation or yoga.\\nSpend time in nature and admire the beauty of the natural world.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building Mental and Emotional Strength\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set reasonable goals and follow through with them.\", \"描述\": \"You can practice building mental strength by setting meaningful goals and working to accomplish them, step by step. Getting from one step to the next requires applying yourself, working through boredom or pain, and sticking it out until you've made it. That's no easy feat, and the more you practice, the better you'll get at achieving your goals.\\nIf you have big goals that seem unattainable, break them down into smaller doable steps. For example, if you want to work on becoming more assertive, you could set a goal to speak up for yourself three times per week. These instances could be as minor as telling your partner that you want to go to dinner at a specific restaurant, rather than deferring to your partner’s choice.\\nHave a \\\"stick with it\\\" attitude. Decide that even if you have a setback, you're going to keep trying, whether the goal in question is keeping a job, finishing a project, managing your finances, and so on.\\nSee failures as learning opportunities. Failures are simply temporary setbacks full of lessons for us to learn.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make yourself strong against negativity.\", \"描述\": \"Negativity can come at you in different ways: it can be from within, in the form of negative thoughts and harmful self-talk, or from the outside, as negative feedback or abuse from other people. While it is beyond a person's control to ever fully remove negativity from her life, there are ways to manage it.\\nManage negative thoughts by learning to identify and challenge them. Learn more by reading Deal with Negative Thoughts.\\nWhile you may be able to minimize your contact with negative or toxic people — you may even be able to excise them from your life entirely — sometimes these people are family members, coworkers, or other people you must interact with. Instead of taking their negativity to heart, you can learn how to not engage and set boundaries with that person. This wikiHow article, How to Deal with Negative People, is a fantastic resource to teach you how to do this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use positive self-talk to build your mental and emotional strength.\", \"描述\": \"Positive daily affirmations can help you develop your mental and emotional strength. Take a few moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Some examples of positive affirmations include:\\n\\\"I am working on being emotionally strong every day.\\\"\\n\\\"I am learning more productive ways to manage my stress and be kind to myself.\\\"\\n\\\"I know that if I take little steps towards this goal every day, I will feel more emotionally and mentally strong.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to stay calm under pressure.\", \"描述\": \"When a situation starts to escalate and you can feel your emotions threatening to boil over. When you contain yourself a bit instead of being impulsive and reactive, you have more time to weigh your options and figure out the wisest way forward.\\nTaking time to count to 10 sounds like a cliché, but it really works. Before you have an emotional reaction to something, pause, take a deep breath, and think it through.\\nPracticing meditation may be helpful in helping you remain calm, as it teaches you to be more objective about your emotions and thoughts. Instead of reacting, you are able to look at thoughts and emotions and say, \\\"Okay, I'm feeling really frustrated right now,\\\" and then figure out how what to do next.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let go of the little things.\", \"描述\": \"If you're sensitive to the small annoyances and verbal barbs we all encounter on a daily basis, you will end up devoting time and energy to things that, ultimately, don't matter. When you dwell on these little things and give them your attention or treat them as a major hassle, you not only increase your stress, but you may be increasing your mortality risk. Learning to adjust your attitude so that you take those small, everyday stresses in stride will help keep your stress hormone (cortisol) under control, protecting you from things like lower immune function, increased blood pressure and cholesterol, and an increased risk of heart disease.\\nInstead of stressing out, develop the healthy habit of thinking about what's bothering you, calming down, and deciding the best, healthiest, most productive way of dealing with it.\\nFor instance, if your husband always forgets to put the cap on the toothpaste, realize that it might not be as important to him as it is to you. You can choose how to deal with the situation — put the cap on the toothpaste yourself and think about all the other ways your husband contributes in the house, or put a (nice) note on the wall as a gentle reminder.\\nBe aware of perfectionism, which may cause you to have extremely high and often unrealistic expectations of yourself and how your day goes, often forgetting to factor in the many things that affect your day that are beyond your control.\\nTry a visualization exercise to let go of little things that are bothering you. Hold a small stone in your hand and imagine that it contains the thing that is bothering you. Concentrate on that negative thing and squeeze the rock very tightly. Then, when you are ready, throw the rock away. Toss it into a pond or far into a field. As you do so, imagine that you are also casting away this thing and all of the negative feelings that you have along with it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Change your perspective.\", \"描述\": \"If you tend to get wrapped up in your own problems, find ways to get a different perspective on your life and all its possibilities. Everyone hits a dead-end from time to time; those who have emotional and mental strength are able to find another way to get where they're going. If you're having trouble getting out of your own head, try these techniques:\\nRead more. Reading the news or a novel lets you enter into others' worlds, serving as a good reminder that the world is a big place and your problems are but a drop in the bucket.\\nVolunteer. Interact with people who need your help. Some studies have shown that volunteering has a wide range of benefits for your mental and physical health.\\nListen to a friend. Hear out someone who really needs your advice. Put yourself in that person's shoes and give the best, most genuine advice you have.\\nTravel. Getting out of your comfort zone can really help you get perspective on your situation. Go somewhere new, even if it's just a few towns over.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have a positive outlook.\", \"描述\": \"Mentally and emotionally strong people tend not to complain very much. They have as many troubles as everyone else, but they take them in stride and see the bigger picture. Being positive about what's going well in your life, and about the possibilities the future holds, will provide you with more mental and emotional strength to tackle difficult situations. Some studies have even shown that having a positive outlook can benefit your physical health as well. \\nLet yourself be in the moment during happy times. Try to enjoy your family, friends, pets, and so on as much as possible.\\nLook for the positive in difficult situations. There is always something to be learned.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be honest with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to face reality might be the biggest sign of a person's emotional and mental strength. If you're going to overcome an obstacle, you need to be able to take it head-on. Lying to yourself about what's going on will only end up hurting you in the end.\\nIf you have escapist tendencies, like watching too much TV as a way to avoid your problems, recognize your bad habits and work to overcome them.\\nBe honest with yourself about your challenges.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing With Life Situations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think before you act.\", \"描述\": \"When you're faced with a difficult situation, take as long as you need to think it through before you react or make a decision. This gives you time to get your emotions under control and weigh your options, and it's mandatory no matter what situation you're dealing with.\\nIf you can, take time to evaluate the situation, writing down how you are feeling. Try to identify at least one positive thing about the situation, no matter how small. Changing your thinking in this minor way can make a huge difference.\\nRemember to take at least 10 seconds to let something set in before you speak. Even if your girlfriend just told you she wants to break up, you can spare 10 seconds to compose yourself before you respond. In the end, you'll be glad you did.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Examine all angles.\", \"描述\": \"In your composed state, before you decide what to do, think clearly about the situation at hand. What exactly happened? What are the possible paths that could be taken? There's always more than one way to handle a problem.\\nLet's say a friend has asked you to participate in illegal activity, and you're not sure how to choose between staying loyal to your friend and obeying the law. Weigh the pros and cons of both courses you could take. Is your friend really a friend if he's asking you to break the law? Or is the law standing in the way of true justice?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the right path and take it.\", \"描述\": \"Use your conscience as your guide. Research has shown that people who make decisions based on what their instincts tell them to do tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who carefully weigh them out. Sometimes the answer will be clear, and sometimes it will be extremely difficult to figure out the right thing to do. Don't let the problem fester and get out of hand; make a decision and go for it.\\nConsult with others you trust. It's completely fine to ask others' opinions if you're not sure what course to take. Just don't let them sway you into doing the wrong thing.\\nThink about what someone you admire would do. It should be someone who is level-headed, honest and good-hearted. What would that person do?\\nUltimately, you will need to take responsibility for your actions. Make the best decision you can make — something you can live with.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your experiences.\", \"描述\": \"After you encounter a difficult situation, consider what happened, how you handled it, and how it all turned out. Are you proud of how you behaved? Is there something you would do differently if you could? Try to learn as much as you can from your experiences. Wisdom is only gained through this type of practice. Examining what happened, rather than just trying to put it out of your head, will help you know what to do next time you face a challenge.\\nIf things didn't turn out as planned, that's okay. Remind yourself that things don't always go smoothly and that you won't always get exactly what you want; this is true for everyone, no matter how fantastic their life may appear.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Steer clear of people who disrespect you and make you feel weak.\\n\", \"Try meditation to stay focused and calm.\\n\", \"Try to work on living more \\\"in the moment\\\", thinking less about what bothered you in the past, and what is concerning you about the future.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,924 | How to Be Mindful | 1. Teaching Yourself to Be Mindful
1-1. Train your mind.
Mindfulness is the habit of consciously paying attention to what is going on around you. Being mindful takes practice. There are many ways that you can train your mind to increase your mindfulness every day.
Think about all of the things you do on a daily basis: you eat, you breathe, you move, you speak. These are just a few examples. Imagine if you begin to be more aware of each part of your day. Think about what you might notice if you begin to truly pay attention to the small parts of your life. This is your first step towards being more mindful.
1-2. Practice being mindful during your routine activities.
For example, pay attention to each step as you make your morning coffee. Then, be aware of how your senses react while drinking your coffee. Each day, try being mindful of a new part of your routine.
Try being mindful during your morning shower. Actually think about your senses. Does the warm water feel good? Do you like how your shower gel smells? Pay attention to the sensations involved in each part of your daily routine.
1-3. Be brief.
Your mind actually works better in short bursts of activity, so keep your practice sessions short. Studies show that it is more productive and useful to break up lengthy stretches of concentration. You will actually be able to be more mindful if you keep your practice sessions short.
For example, focus on picking out an outfit for work, but then let your mind wander while you go through the motions of actually getting dressed.
2. Learning Mindful Habits
2-1. Try meditation.
Meditating can be very beneficial for your brain. Practicing meditation can help you more effortlessly be mindful, as it will become your brain's default setting. Learn about meditation, and find a training method that is right for you.
Meditation is most effective when you formally train your mind how to practice it. Try finding a book or audio book that will guide you through a series of meditations. You can also take guided meditation courses offered by professionals.
To get started, find a calm, quiet space to meditate. Close your eyes, and sit comfortably. Choose a word or phrase to focus on. You can say this out loud or inwardly. Popular choices are "ohm" and "love".
2-2. Improve your relationship.
Your romantic relationship affects all aspects of your life. Research shows that couples who are more mindful are happier and more physically healthy. Ask your partner to join you in trying to become more mindful.
Try meditating with your partner. The simple act of engaging in mindfulness at the same time and the same place can help you bond. Another way to increase your mindfulness is to practice your communication skills with your partner. Focus on really hearing one another.
2-3. Listen carefully.
Truly hearing what someone else is saying is one of the best ways to be mindful. Often when you are conversing with someone else, your inner-voice is active while they are talking. Sometimes you are judging their words, or maybe half thinking about something else. Mindfulness is truly paying attention when someone else is talking.
If possible, have important conversations face to face. Make eye contact. This will help you bond with the person you are listening to, and help you absorb what they are saying.
2-4. Monitor your health.
Being aware of your physical health is an important part of being more mindful. Pay attention to your body, and be aware of energy levels, hunger pangs, and aches and pains. Tuning in to signals from your body will help with your overall well-being.
Practice mindful eating by consciously being aware of the foods you choose to eat. You should think not only about your likes and dislikes, but also consider nutritional value. Additionally, be aware of the act of eating and note how your senses (sights, smells, taste) respond to different foods.
3. Practicing Being Mindful
3-1. Be aware of your feelings.
Mindfulness in the work place is a great quality to cultivate. Being more mindful can make you more productive at work, and can also decrease your stress. One way to be more mindful is to check in with your emotions, and take note of how you feel when you're at work.
Get in the habit of checking in with yourself. You may be stressed out during the day without even being aware of it. Be mindful, and pay attention to signs of tension. If you find your heart race increasing, or that your shoulders are tense, take a minute to remove yourself from the stressful situation and calm down.
3-2. Focus on breathing.
Being aware of your breath is very important to being more mindful. Taking deep, calming breaths can help you focus and can also help to lower your blood pressure. Before a big meeting, try taking some several deep breaths to gain your composure.
Try setting aside two three minute periods per day to practice your breathing. You can do this at your desk. Simply set aside your work for three minutes and allow yourself to concentrate fully on breathing.
3-3. Take a break.
Research shows that you are actually a more productive person when you allow yourself to take regular breaks. It is important to allow your brain to relax. Part of being mindful is realizing when you need to let your mind drift.
It is ideal to take one ten-minute break every hour. If you can't manage that, try taking several thirty-second mini-breaks. During these brief timeouts, let your mind drift and indulge in some daydreams.
3-4. Use visualization.
This technique can help you be a less stressed, more effective person. Try visualizing yourself doing something great. Perhaps you are delivering an outstanding presentation or cooking an amazing dinner for your family. Whatever you see, make sure you are visualizing your best self.
3-5. Use the right language.
Pay attention to both your words and your body language. You want to communicate that you are present and connected to your co-workers, friends, and family. This will make you a more effective communicator, and increase your mindfulness.
Watch the words that you use in workplace conversations. When you use words like being "swamped" you are telling yourself and your co-worker that you are experiencing a negative situation. Be mindful, and use positive language. Try saying that your schedule is "full" instead.
Breathing is an important part of your body language. If your breathing is erratic, it signals to your body and others that you are under stress. This is not a positive image to project.
4. Understanding Mindfulness
4-1. Learn about mindfulness.
Try doing some reading about mindfulness. There is no set definition, so you'll want to get information from a few different sources. Remember, mindfulness is about being aware, but non-judgmental. Learning about the concept will help deepen your practice.
4-2. Know the benefits.
Practicing mindfulness can have positive impacts on both your mind and your body. People who are more mindful are shown to have lower blood pressure and reduced anxiety. It can also help to increase your memory and lessen symptoms of depression.
4-3. Change your habits.
In order to become more mindful, it is likely that you will need to make some changes to your daily life. Try forming new habits to aid in your practice. Remember, new habits take about two months to truly take hold. Be patient with yourself.
Add a daily walk to your routine. Being outside is a great time to practice being mindful. Turn off your headphones and unplug while talking a stroll each day.
Consciously add breaks to your day. Even when you're not at work, you need several time-outs throughout the day. Give yourself permission to do nothing for at least a few minutes at a time. Let your thoughts wander.
4-4. Acknowledge your progress.
Speak positively to yourself. When you have negative thoughts, acknowledge them and let them go. Focus on saying positive things in your inner dialogue. Note the good aspects of each situation.
When you feel frustrated by your progress, acknowledge how you feel. Then purposefully shift your attitude into congratulating yourself on the progress that you have made.
Tips
Be patient. Being mindful takes practice, and it takes time.
Try different methods of increasing your mindfulness. Take the time to find the ways that work for you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:17",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Teaching Yourself to Be Mindful\\n1-1. Train your mind.\\nMindfulness is the habit of consciously paying attention to what is going on around you. Being mindful takes practice. There are many ways that you can train your mind to increase your mindfulness every day.\\nThink about all of the things you do on a daily basis: you eat, you breathe, you move, you speak. These are just a few examples. Imagine if you begin to be more aware of each part of your day. Think about what you might notice if you begin to truly pay attention to the small parts of your life. This is your first step towards being more mindful.\\n1-2. Practice being mindful during your routine activities.\\nFor example, pay attention to each step as you make your morning coffee. Then, be aware of how your senses react while drinking your coffee. Each day, try being mindful of a new part of your routine.\\nTry being mindful during your morning shower. Actually think about your senses. Does the warm water feel good? Do you like how your shower gel smells? Pay attention to the sensations involved in each part of your daily routine.\\n1-3. Be brief.\\nYour mind actually works better in short bursts of activity, so keep your practice sessions short. Studies show that it is more productive and useful to break up lengthy stretches of concentration. You will actually be able to be more mindful if you keep your practice sessions short.\\nFor example, focus on picking out an outfit for work, but then let your mind wander while you go through the motions of actually getting dressed.\\n2. Learning Mindful Habits\\n2-1. Try meditation.\\nMeditating can be very beneficial for your brain. Practicing meditation can help you more effortlessly be mindful, as it will become your brain's default setting. Learn about meditation, and find a training method that is right for you. \\nMeditation is most effective when you formally train your mind how to practice it. Try finding a book or audio book that will guide you through a series of meditations. You can also take guided meditation courses offered by professionals.\\nTo get started, find a calm, quiet space to meditate. Close your eyes, and sit comfortably. Choose a word or phrase to focus on. You can say this out loud or inwardly. Popular choices are \\\"ohm\\\" and \\\"love\\\".\\n2-2. Improve your relationship.\\nYour romantic relationship affects all aspects of your life. Research shows that couples who are more mindful are happier and more physically healthy. Ask your partner to join you in trying to become more mindful.\\nTry meditating with your partner. The simple act of engaging in mindfulness at the same time and the same place can help you bond. Another way to increase your mindfulness is to practice your communication skills with your partner. Focus on really hearing one another.\\n2-3. Listen carefully.\\nTruly hearing what someone else is saying is one of the best ways to be mindful. Often when you are conversing with someone else, your inner-voice is active while they are talking. Sometimes you are judging their words, or maybe half thinking about something else. Mindfulness is truly paying attention when someone else is talking.\\nIf possible, have important conversations face to face. Make eye contact. This will help you bond with the person you are listening to, and help you absorb what they are saying.\\n2-4. Monitor your health.\\nBeing aware of your physical health is an important part of being more mindful. Pay attention to your body, and be aware of energy levels, hunger pangs, and aches and pains. Tuning in to signals from your body will help with your overall well-being.\\nPractice mindful eating by consciously being aware of the foods you choose to eat. You should think not only about your likes and dislikes, but also consider nutritional value. Additionally, be aware of the act of eating and note how your senses (sights, smells, taste) respond to different foods.\\n3. Practicing Being Mindful\\n3-1. Be aware of your feelings.\\nMindfulness in the work place is a great quality to cultivate. Being more mindful can make you more productive at work, and can also decrease your stress. One way to be more mindful is to check in with your emotions, and take note of how you feel when you're at work. \\nGet in the habit of checking in with yourself. You may be stressed out during the day without even being aware of it. Be mindful, and pay attention to signs of tension. If you find your heart race increasing, or that your shoulders are tense, take a minute to remove yourself from the stressful situation and calm down.\\n3-2. Focus on breathing.\\nBeing aware of your breath is very important to being more mindful. Taking deep, calming breaths can help you focus and can also help to lower your blood pressure. Before a big meeting, try taking some several deep breaths to gain your composure.\\nTry setting aside two three minute periods per day to practice your breathing. You can do this at your desk. Simply set aside your work for three minutes and allow yourself to concentrate fully on breathing.\\n3-3. Take a break.\\nResearch shows that you are actually a more productive person when you allow yourself to take regular breaks. It is important to allow your brain to relax. Part of being mindful is realizing when you need to let your mind drift.\\nIt is ideal to take one ten-minute break every hour. If you can't manage that, try taking several thirty-second mini-breaks. During these brief timeouts, let your mind drift and indulge in some daydreams.\\n3-4. Use visualization.\\nThis technique can help you be a less stressed, more effective person. Try visualizing yourself doing something great. Perhaps you are delivering an outstanding presentation or cooking an amazing dinner for your family. Whatever you see, make sure you are visualizing your best self.\\n3-5. Use the right language.\\nPay attention to both your words and your body language. You want to communicate that you are present and connected to your co-workers, friends, and family. This will make you a more effective communicator, and increase your mindfulness.\\nWatch the words that you use in workplace conversations. When you use words like being \\\"swamped\\\" you are telling yourself and your co-worker that you are experiencing a negative situation. Be mindful, and use positive language. Try saying that your schedule is \\\"full\\\" instead.\\nBreathing is an important part of your body language. If your breathing is erratic, it signals to your body and others that you are under stress. This is not a positive image to project.\\n4. Understanding Mindfulness\\n4-1. Learn about mindfulness.\\nTry doing some reading about mindfulness. There is no set definition, so you'll want to get information from a few different sources. Remember, mindfulness is about being aware, but non-judgmental. Learning about the concept will help deepen your practice.\\n4-2. Know the benefits.\\nPracticing mindfulness can have positive impacts on both your mind and your body. People who are more mindful are shown to have lower blood pressure and reduced anxiety. It can also help to increase your memory and lessen symptoms of depression.\\n4-3. Change your habits.\\nIn order to become more mindful, it is likely that you will need to make some changes to your daily life. Try forming new habits to aid in your practice. Remember, new habits take about two months to truly take hold. Be patient with yourself.\\nAdd a daily walk to your routine. Being outside is a great time to practice being mindful. Turn off your headphones and unplug while talking a stroll each day.\\nConsciously add breaks to your day. Even when you're not at work, you need several time-outs throughout the day. Give yourself permission to do nothing for at least a few minutes at a time. Let your thoughts wander.\\n4-4. Acknowledge your progress.\\nSpeak positively to yourself. When you have negative thoughts, acknowledge them and let them go. Focus on saying positive things in your inner dialogue. Note the good aspects of each situation. \\nWhen you feel frustrated by your progress, acknowledge how you feel. Then purposefully shift your attitude into congratulating yourself on the progress that you have made.\\nTips\\nBe patient. Being mindful takes practice, and it takes time.\\nTry different methods of increasing your mindfulness. Take the time to find the ways that work for you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A person is mindful when they are aware of their surroundings, actions, and emotions. Being mindful is not simply being alert. Instead, it is paying attention very carefully to your environment. You can train yourself to be more mindful. Mindfulness can have a positive impact on both your personal and professional life. There are many steps you can take to becoming more mindful.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Teaching Yourself to Be Mindful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Train your mind.\", \"描述\": \"Mindfulness is the habit of consciously paying attention to what is going on around you. Being mindful takes practice. There are many ways that you can train your mind to increase your mindfulness every day.\\nThink about all of the things you do on a daily basis: you eat, you breathe, you move, you speak. These are just a few examples. Imagine if you begin to be more aware of each part of your day. Think about what you might notice if you begin to truly pay attention to the small parts of your life. This is your first step towards being more mindful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice being mindful during your routine activities.\", \"描述\": \"For example, pay attention to each step as you make your morning coffee. Then, be aware of how your senses react while drinking your coffee. Each day, try being mindful of a new part of your routine.\\nTry being mindful during your morning shower. Actually think about your senses. Does the warm water feel good? Do you like how your shower gel smells? Pay attention to the sensations involved in each part of your daily routine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be brief.\", \"描述\": \"Your mind actually works better in short bursts of activity, so keep your practice sessions short. Studies show that it is more productive and useful to break up lengthy stretches of concentration. You will actually be able to be more mindful if you keep your practice sessions short.\\nFor example, focus on picking out an outfit for work, but then let your mind wander while you go through the motions of actually getting dressed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning Mindful Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Meditating can be very beneficial for your brain. Practicing meditation can help you more effortlessly be mindful, as it will become your brain's default setting. Learn about meditation, and find a training method that is right for you. \\nMeditation is most effective when you formally train your mind how to practice it. Try finding a book or audio book that will guide you through a series of meditations. You can also take guided meditation courses offered by professionals.\\nTo get started, find a calm, quiet space to meditate. Close your eyes, and sit comfortably. Choose a word or phrase to focus on. You can say this out loud or inwardly. Popular choices are \\\"ohm\\\" and \\\"love\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improve your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Your romantic relationship affects all aspects of your life. Research shows that couples who are more mindful are happier and more physically healthy. Ask your partner to join you in trying to become more mindful.\\nTry meditating with your partner. The simple act of engaging in mindfulness at the same time and the same place can help you bond. Another way to increase your mindfulness is to practice your communication skills with your partner. Focus on really hearing one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Truly hearing what someone else is saying is one of the best ways to be mindful. Often when you are conversing with someone else, your inner-voice is active while they are talking. Sometimes you are judging their words, or maybe half thinking about something else. Mindfulness is truly paying attention when someone else is talking.\\nIf possible, have important conversations face to face. Make eye contact. This will help you bond with the person you are listening to, and help you absorb what they are saying.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Monitor your health.\", \"描述\": \"Being aware of your physical health is an important part of being more mindful. Pay attention to your body, and be aware of energy levels, hunger pangs, and aches and pains. Tuning in to signals from your body will help with your overall well-being.\\nPractice mindful eating by consciously being aware of the foods you choose to eat. You should think not only about your likes and dislikes, but also consider nutritional value. Additionally, be aware of the act of eating and note how your senses (sights, smells, taste) respond to different foods.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Being Mindful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Mindfulness in the work place is a great quality to cultivate. Being more mindful can make you more productive at work, and can also decrease your stress. One way to be more mindful is to check in with your emotions, and take note of how you feel when you're at work. \\nGet in the habit of checking in with yourself. You may be stressed out during the day without even being aware of it. Be mindful, and pay attention to signs of tension. If you find your heart race increasing, or that your shoulders are tense, take a minute to remove yourself from the stressful situation and calm down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on breathing.\", \"描述\": \"Being aware of your breath is very important to being more mindful. Taking deep, calming breaths can help you focus and can also help to lower your blood pressure. Before a big meeting, try taking some several deep breaths to gain your composure.\\nTry setting aside two three minute periods per day to practice your breathing. You can do this at your desk. Simply set aside your work for three minutes and allow yourself to concentrate fully on breathing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a break.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that you are actually a more productive person when you allow yourself to take regular breaks. It is important to allow your brain to relax. Part of being mindful is realizing when you need to let your mind drift.\\nIt is ideal to take one ten-minute break every hour. If you can't manage that, try taking several thirty-second mini-breaks. During these brief timeouts, let your mind drift and indulge in some daydreams.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use visualization.\", \"描述\": \"This technique can help you be a less stressed, more effective person. Try visualizing yourself doing something great. Perhaps you are delivering an outstanding presentation or cooking an amazing dinner for your family. Whatever you see, make sure you are visualizing your best self.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use the right language.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to both your words and your body language. You want to communicate that you are present and connected to your co-workers, friends, and family. This will make you a more effective communicator, and increase your mindfulness.\\nWatch the words that you use in workplace conversations. When you use words like being \\\"swamped\\\" you are telling yourself and your co-worker that you are experiencing a negative situation. Be mindful, and use positive language. Try saying that your schedule is \\\"full\\\" instead.\\nBreathing is an important part of your body language. If your breathing is erratic, it signals to your body and others that you are under stress. This is not a positive image to project.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understanding Mindfulness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Try doing some reading about mindfulness. There is no set definition, so you'll want to get information from a few different sources. Remember, mindfulness is about being aware, but non-judgmental. Learning about the concept will help deepen your practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know the benefits.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing mindfulness can have positive impacts on both your mind and your body. People who are more mindful are shown to have lower blood pressure and reduced anxiety. It can also help to increase your memory and lessen symptoms of depression.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change your habits.\", \"描述\": \"In order to become more mindful, it is likely that you will need to make some changes to your daily life. Try forming new habits to aid in your practice. Remember, new habits take about two months to truly take hold. Be patient with yourself.\\nAdd a daily walk to your routine. Being outside is a great time to practice being mindful. Turn off your headphones and unplug while talking a stroll each day.\\nConsciously add breaks to your day. Even when you're not at work, you need several time-outs throughout the day. Give yourself permission to do nothing for at least a few minutes at a time. Let your thoughts wander.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your progress.\", \"描述\": \"Speak positively to yourself. When you have negative thoughts, acknowledge them and let them go. Focus on saying positive things in your inner dialogue. Note the good aspects of each situation. \\nWhen you feel frustrated by your progress, acknowledge how you feel. Then purposefully shift your attitude into congratulating yourself on the progress that you have made.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be patient. Being mindful takes practice, and it takes time.\\n\", \"Try different methods of increasing your mindfulness. Take the time to find the ways that work for you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,925 | How to Be Minimalist with Clothes | 1. Choosing Minimalistic Clothing and Accessories
1-1. Select neutral-toned shirts and bottoms.
Look for clothing that has dark, white, tan, or cream-colored tones. While there’s no exact rulebook for the minimalist lifestyle, try to stand out as little as possible. Instead, choose garments with colors that match and blend easily, and won’t be at risk of clashing.
Dark blues and greens are also great colors to consider in a minimalist wardrobe.
1-2. Prioritize garments that can serve multiple purposes.
Search for pieces of clothing that you can wear during both professional and casual occasions, like dark jeans or a nice blouse. Try to choose multiple garments that can carry over to different types of outfits so you don’t spend any time stressing over future ensembles.
1-3. Opt for jewelry with simple designs or patterns.
Avoid accessories with bright colors and shapes, as these clash with the simple aesthetic of a minimalist wardrobe. Instead, choose earrings, necklaces, and other accessories that come in a single color, like silver, and have a plain pattern or design.
For instance, silver chain earrings would be a great addition to a minimalist professional outfit.
1-4. Invest in a pair of sturdy, comfortable jeans.
Find a pair of jeans in the style of your choice. Select a color and style that best suits your personal sense of fashion. Overall, try to choose a pair that you wouldn’t mind wearing over and over again.
A pair of black jeans could be a great addition to a minimalist wardrobe.
While ripped jeans have a fun, rugged look to them, they won’t be very versatile in a formal outfit.
Straight leg or boot-cut jeans are very versatile, and can work in a variety of outfits.
1-5. Pick out small, neutral-toned handbags for when you go out.
Select a small, clutch-sized handbag that can fit all of your essential belongings, like your keys and wallet. Try to pick a color that could blend with a variety of possible outfits, like black or dark brown.
Avoid accessories with a lot of bling and flashy colors.
1-6. Avoid purchasing trendy or flashy articles of clothing.
Since a minimalist wardrobe is a long-term decision, don’t invest your money in short-term trends. Instead, shop for articles of clothing that serve a practical purpose in your wardrobe, and can last several years.
2. Creating Simple Outfits
2-1. Pair a white shirt with jeans or neutral-toned pants for an everyday look.
Slip on a white tee shirt or dress shirt to provide a neutral base for your outfit. To create a relaxed look, add a pair of dark jeans to your outfit. Try experimenting with different accessories to create a look that’s unique to you!
For instance, you could make your outfit more rugged by slipping on a black leather jacket.
Play around with layers by wearing sheer shirts beneath neutral-toned tops.
2-2. Wear a dress shirt with dark jeans to give off a professional vibe.
Select a pair of dark, boot-cut or straight-leg jeans to give your outfit a more formal aesthetic. As a simple touch, slip on a neutral-toned, button-down dress that matches well with your jeans. To complete your outfit, pick out a sleek pair of sneakers.
Sunglasses could be a nice finishing touch to this outfit.
2-3. Pair a dark blazer with jeans for a formal look.
Wear a neutral-toned button-down shirt or blouse to give off a sleek, professional vibe. To add to the outfit, slip on a pair of dark jeans. As a finishing touch, wear a dark-toned blazer that complements the shades of both your shirt and pants.
For instance, you could pair a white dress shirt with a pair of black jeans, then slip on a navy blue blazer overtop.
2-4. Choose neutral-toned boots as a simple addition to any outfit.
Dress up your look by switching out your sneakers for boots. If you’re preparing for a formal occasion, select a pair of sleek, upscale boots to complete your outfit. If you’re preparing for more rugged weather, pick out a pair of hiking or combat boots instead.
For a very polished look, you could pair a navy blue tee with a pair of forest green slacks, then finish off the look with a pair of black boots.
3. Balancing Your Capsule Wardrobe
3-1. Go through your closet and pick 30-50 of your favorite clothing items.
Remove the clothes from your closet and lay them on a flat, clean surface. Examine each garment to check if it still fits you well, and see if you still enjoy wearing it. If you really like the clothing, set it aside.
If you choose to get rid of a lot of clothing, consider donating them! Places like Goodwill are great donation areas to visit. You can also check in with friends or family members to see if they’d like your old garments.
Discard the clothes that show signs of wear and tear.
3-2. Keep several different shirts that can be used for different occasions.
Choose multiple tees, dress shirts, and other garments that could work for both casual and formal events. To add some variation to your looks, try picking shirts in different neutral colors.
If you want to embrace an especially minimalist lifestyle, consider weaning your closet down to 8 shirts.
3-3. Select a few fancy items to keep in your closet.
Choose a blazer, tuxedo jacket, or pair of nice pants or chinos to keep on hand in your closet. If you don’t want to wittle down your wardrobe that much, try limiting yourself to 10 dressy or professional garments.
For example, a woman could have 5 blouses, 5 nice dresses, and 3 skirts or nice pants in her minimalist closet, while a man could have 5 dress shirts and 3 pairs of nice pants or chinos.
3-4. Hold onto several pairs of formal and casual pants.
Choose a variety of pants, shorts, skirts, and other bottoms that mesh well with the climate of your home. Try to choose garments that are made with different materials and styles so you can dress for a variety of occasions.
Slacks are a great option if you want a formal pair of pants.
3-5. Alternate between different types of footwear.
Choose a pair of comfortable shoes that you can wear on a casual, everyday basis, like sneakers. For more professional outfits, keep a pair of dressy shoes on hand so you can look polished and classy.
For instance, if you live in a temperate area, you might have a pair of sneakers, sandals, boots, and fancy shoes.
3-6. Choose clothing items that fit your lifestyle.
Examine the garments in your closet to make sure they fit the dress code and overall aesthetic of your daily schedule. While many minimalist clothing items are neutral-toned, your personality and lifestyle might be better-suited to bright colors and fun patterns. On a similar note, casual, funky-looking clothing wouldn’t be very fitting for an individual with a professional lifestyle.
For example, if you work in an office, you wouldn’t want your capsule wardrobe to be filled with Hawaiian shirts and blue jeans. Similarly, if you work at a restaurant or movie theater, you wouldn’t want to be wearing a blazer and chinos.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:17",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Minimalistic Clothing and Accessories\\n1-1. Select neutral-toned shirts and bottoms.\\nLook for clothing that has dark, white, tan, or cream-colored tones. While there’s no exact rulebook for the minimalist lifestyle, try to stand out as little as possible. Instead, choose garments with colors that match and blend easily, and won’t be at risk of clashing.\\nDark blues and greens are also great colors to consider in a minimalist wardrobe.\\n1-2. Prioritize garments that can serve multiple purposes.\\nSearch for pieces of clothing that you can wear during both professional and casual occasions, like dark jeans or a nice blouse. Try to choose multiple garments that can carry over to different types of outfits so you don’t spend any time stressing over future ensembles.\\n1-3. Opt for jewelry with simple designs or patterns.\\nAvoid accessories with bright colors and shapes, as these clash with the simple aesthetic of a minimalist wardrobe. Instead, choose earrings, necklaces, and other accessories that come in a single color, like silver, and have a plain pattern or design.\\nFor instance, silver chain earrings would be a great addition to a minimalist professional outfit.\\n1-4. Invest in a pair of sturdy, comfortable jeans.\\nFind a pair of jeans in the style of your choice. Select a color and style that best suits your personal sense of fashion. Overall, try to choose a pair that you wouldn’t mind wearing over and over again.\\nA pair of black jeans could be a great addition to a minimalist wardrobe.\\nWhile ripped jeans have a fun, rugged look to them, they won’t be very versatile in a formal outfit.\\nStraight leg or boot-cut jeans are very versatile, and can work in a variety of outfits.\\n1-5. Pick out small, neutral-toned handbags for when you go out.\\nSelect a small, clutch-sized handbag that can fit all of your essential belongings, like your keys and wallet. Try to pick a color that could blend with a variety of possible outfits, like black or dark brown.\\nAvoid accessories with a lot of bling and flashy colors.\\n1-6. Avoid purchasing trendy or flashy articles of clothing.\\nSince a minimalist wardrobe is a long-term decision, don’t invest your money in short-term trends. Instead, shop for articles of clothing that serve a practical purpose in your wardrobe, and can last several years.\\n2. Creating Simple Outfits\\n2-1. Pair a white shirt with jeans or neutral-toned pants for an everyday look.\\nSlip on a white tee shirt or dress shirt to provide a neutral base for your outfit. To create a relaxed look, add a pair of dark jeans to your outfit. Try experimenting with different accessories to create a look that’s unique to you!\\nFor instance, you could make your outfit more rugged by slipping on a black leather jacket.\\nPlay around with layers by wearing sheer shirts beneath neutral-toned tops.\\n2-2. Wear a dress shirt with dark jeans to give off a professional vibe.\\nSelect a pair of dark, boot-cut or straight-leg jeans to give your outfit a more formal aesthetic. As a simple touch, slip on a neutral-toned, button-down dress that matches well with your jeans. To complete your outfit, pick out a sleek pair of sneakers.\\nSunglasses could be a nice finishing touch to this outfit.\\n2-3. Pair a dark blazer with jeans for a formal look.\\nWear a neutral-toned button-down shirt or blouse to give off a sleek, professional vibe. To add to the outfit, slip on a pair of dark jeans. As a finishing touch, wear a dark-toned blazer that complements the shades of both your shirt and pants.\\nFor instance, you could pair a white dress shirt with a pair of black jeans, then slip on a navy blue blazer overtop.\\n2-4. Choose neutral-toned boots as a simple addition to any outfit.\\nDress up your look by switching out your sneakers for boots. If you’re preparing for a formal occasion, select a pair of sleek, upscale boots to complete your outfit. If you’re preparing for more rugged weather, pick out a pair of hiking or combat boots instead.\\nFor a very polished look, you could pair a navy blue tee with a pair of forest green slacks, then finish off the look with a pair of black boots.\\n3. Balancing Your Capsule Wardrobe\\n3-1. Go through your closet and pick 30-50 of your favorite clothing items.\\nRemove the clothes from your closet and lay them on a flat, clean surface. Examine each garment to check if it still fits you well, and see if you still enjoy wearing it. If you really like the clothing, set it aside.\\nIf you choose to get rid of a lot of clothing, consider donating them! Places like Goodwill are great donation areas to visit. You can also check in with friends or family members to see if they’d like your old garments.\\nDiscard the clothes that show signs of wear and tear.\\n3-2. Keep several different shirts that can be used for different occasions.\\nChoose multiple tees, dress shirts, and other garments that could work for both casual and formal events. To add some variation to your looks, try picking shirts in different neutral colors.\\nIf you want to embrace an especially minimalist lifestyle, consider weaning your closet down to 8 shirts.\\n3-3. Select a few fancy items to keep in your closet.\\nChoose a blazer, tuxedo jacket, or pair of nice pants or chinos to keep on hand in your closet. If you don’t want to wittle down your wardrobe that much, try limiting yourself to 10 dressy or professional garments.\\nFor example, a woman could have 5 blouses, 5 nice dresses, and 3 skirts or nice pants in her minimalist closet, while a man could have 5 dress shirts and 3 pairs of nice pants or chinos.\\n3-4. Hold onto several pairs of formal and casual pants.\\nChoose a variety of pants, shorts, skirts, and other bottoms that mesh well with the climate of your home. Try to choose garments that are made with different materials and styles so you can dress for a variety of occasions.\\nSlacks are a great option if you want a formal pair of pants.\\n3-5. Alternate between different types of footwear.\\nChoose a pair of comfortable shoes that you can wear on a casual, everyday basis, like sneakers. For more professional outfits, keep a pair of dressy shoes on hand so you can look polished and classy.\\nFor instance, if you live in a temperate area, you might have a pair of sneakers, sandals, boots, and fancy shoes.\\n3-6. Choose clothing items that fit your lifestyle.\\nExamine the garments in your closet to make sure they fit the dress code and overall aesthetic of your daily schedule. While many minimalist clothing items are neutral-toned, your personality and lifestyle might be better-suited to bright colors and fun patterns. On a similar note, casual, funky-looking clothing wouldn’t be very fitting for an individual with a professional lifestyle.\\nFor example, if you work in an office, you wouldn’t want your capsule wardrobe to be filled with Hawaiian shirts and blue jeans. Similarly, if you work at a restaurant or movie theater, you wouldn’t want to be wearing a blazer and chinos.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Minimalist fashion can be a popular lifestyle choice, especially if you’re aiming to save time and money. Unlike traditional wardrobes, a minimalist closet is known as a “capsule,” and typically holds less than 50 total pieces of clothing. While this might seem like an intimidating transition, you can start your minimalist journey by getting rid of clothes that you don’t need or wear often. If you find this type of life fulfilling, you might enjoy making more dramatic changes to your wardrobe!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Minimalistic Clothing and Accessories\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Select neutral-toned shirts and bottoms.\", \"描述\": \"Look for clothing that has dark, white, tan, or cream-colored tones. While there’s no exact rulebook for the minimalist lifestyle, try to stand out as little as possible. Instead, choose garments with colors that match and blend easily, and won’t be at risk of clashing.\\nDark blues and greens are also great colors to consider in a minimalist wardrobe.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prioritize garments that can serve multiple purposes.\", \"描述\": \"Search for pieces of clothing that you can wear during both professional and casual occasions, like dark jeans or a nice blouse. Try to choose multiple garments that can carry over to different types of outfits so you don’t spend any time stressing over future ensembles.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Opt for jewelry with simple designs or patterns.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid accessories with bright colors and shapes, as these clash with the simple aesthetic of a minimalist wardrobe. Instead, choose earrings, necklaces, and other accessories that come in a single color, like silver, and have a plain pattern or design.\\nFor instance, silver chain earrings would be a great addition to a minimalist professional outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invest in a pair of sturdy, comfortable jeans.\", \"描述\": \"Find a pair of jeans in the style of your choice. Select a color and style that best suits your personal sense of fashion. Overall, try to choose a pair that you wouldn’t mind wearing over and over again.\\nA pair of black jeans could be a great addition to a minimalist wardrobe.\\nWhile ripped jeans have a fun, rugged look to them, they won’t be very versatile in a formal outfit.\\nStraight leg or boot-cut jeans are very versatile, and can work in a variety of outfits.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pick out small, neutral-toned handbags for when you go out.\", \"描述\": \"Select a small, clutch-sized handbag that can fit all of your essential belongings, like your keys and wallet. Try to pick a color that could blend with a variety of possible outfits, like black or dark brown.\\nAvoid accessories with a lot of bling and flashy colors.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid purchasing trendy or flashy articles of clothing.\", \"描述\": \"Since a minimalist wardrobe is a long-term decision, don’t invest your money in short-term trends. Instead, shop for articles of clothing that serve a practical purpose in your wardrobe, and can last several years.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating Simple Outfits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pair a white shirt with jeans or neutral-toned pants for an everyday look.\", \"描述\": \"Slip on a white tee shirt or dress shirt to provide a neutral base for your outfit. To create a relaxed look, add a pair of dark jeans to your outfit. Try experimenting with different accessories to create a look that’s unique to you!\\nFor instance, you could make your outfit more rugged by slipping on a black leather jacket.\\nPlay around with layers by wearing sheer shirts beneath neutral-toned tops.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear a dress shirt with dark jeans to give off a professional vibe.\", \"描述\": \"Select a pair of dark, boot-cut or straight-leg jeans to give your outfit a more formal aesthetic. As a simple touch, slip on a neutral-toned, button-down dress that matches well with your jeans. To complete your outfit, pick out a sleek pair of sneakers.\\nSunglasses could be a nice finishing touch to this outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pair a dark blazer with jeans for a formal look.\", \"描述\": \"Wear a neutral-toned button-down shirt or blouse to give off a sleek, professional vibe. To add to the outfit, slip on a pair of dark jeans. As a finishing touch, wear a dark-toned blazer that complements the shades of both your shirt and pants.\\nFor instance, you could pair a white dress shirt with a pair of black jeans, then slip on a navy blue blazer overtop.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose neutral-toned boots as a simple addition to any outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Dress up your look by switching out your sneakers for boots. If you’re preparing for a formal occasion, select a pair of sleek, upscale boots to complete your outfit. If you’re preparing for more rugged weather, pick out a pair of hiking or combat boots instead.\\nFor a very polished look, you could pair a navy blue tee with a pair of forest green slacks, then finish off the look with a pair of black boots.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Balancing Your Capsule Wardrobe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go through your closet and pick 30-50 of your favorite clothing items.\", \"描述\": \"Remove the clothes from your closet and lay them on a flat, clean surface. Examine each garment to check if it still fits you well, and see if you still enjoy wearing it. If you really like the clothing, set it aside.\\nIf you choose to get rid of a lot of clothing, consider donating them! Places like Goodwill are great donation areas to visit. You can also check in with friends or family members to see if they’d like your old garments.\\nDiscard the clothes that show signs of wear and tear.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep several different shirts that can be used for different occasions.\", \"描述\": \"Choose multiple tees, dress shirts, and other garments that could work for both casual and formal events. To add some variation to your looks, try picking shirts in different neutral colors.\\nIf you want to embrace an especially minimalist lifestyle, consider weaning your closet down to 8 shirts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select a few fancy items to keep in your closet.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a blazer, tuxedo jacket, or pair of nice pants or chinos to keep on hand in your closet. If you don’t want to wittle down your wardrobe that much, try limiting yourself to 10 dressy or professional garments.\\nFor example, a woman could have 5 blouses, 5 nice dresses, and 3 skirts or nice pants in her minimalist closet, while a man could have 5 dress shirts and 3 pairs of nice pants or chinos.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold onto several pairs of formal and casual pants.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a variety of pants, shorts, skirts, and other bottoms that mesh well with the climate of your home. Try to choose garments that are made with different materials and styles so you can dress for a variety of occasions.\\nSlacks are a great option if you want a formal pair of pants.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Alternate between different types of footwear.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a pair of comfortable shoes that you can wear on a casual, everyday basis, like sneakers. For more professional outfits, keep a pair of dressy shoes on hand so you can look polished and classy.\\nFor instance, if you live in a temperate area, you might have a pair of sneakers, sandals, boots, and fancy shoes.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Choose clothing items that fit your lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"Examine the garments in your closet to make sure they fit the dress code and overall aesthetic of your daily schedule. While many minimalist clothing items are neutral-toned, your personality and lifestyle might be better-suited to bright colors and fun patterns. On a similar note, casual, funky-looking clothing wouldn’t be very fitting for an individual with a professional lifestyle.\\nFor example, if you work in an office, you wouldn’t want your capsule wardrobe to be filled with Hawaiian shirts and blue jeans. Similarly, if you work at a restaurant or movie theater, you wouldn’t want to be wearing a blazer and chinos.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,926 | How to Be Mischievous | 1. Cultivating the Characteristics of a Mischievous Person
1-1. Look for opportunities to make mischief.
Every seemingly normal situation can be made funnier and more interesting when you add some mischief. Change the way you see everyday life in order to create something fresh and act differently.
For example, instead of seeing a banana on the table as just a piece of fruit, pick it up and start talking to your dentist. Cultivate your impulsive side by acting in ways you might not normally act.
Being mischievous relies on your ability to act spontaneous. The point is to always be on the lookout for an opportunity.
1-2. Take life less seriously.
Risk taking is a critical aspect of being mischievous. Live to your fullest potential by not worrying too much about the consequences. If you tend to be a serious person, this can be a difficult. Try to replace your feelings of stress or anxiety with lightheartedness.
For example: it’s late at night. You and your friends are bored and hungry. That's the perfect opportunity to go outside and find an adventure. Why not take a late night walk to the 24-hour diner across town?
1-3. Have mischievous role models.
There might be someone in your friend group, class, or at work who is considered mischievous. Observe how they crack jokes or play practical jokes for fun. There is no need to seek out people who vandalize public property. These people aren't being mischievous; they're just being jerks.
Don’t ask for advice from this person, but instead observe how they act. You could even try to hang out with them if it is appropriate.
There are many famous characters who are mischievous. For example, Peter Pan values play and friendship over anything else. Peter Pan can be reckless, but that is what makes him an influential and mischievous leader to the Lost Boys.
1-4. Avoid taking things too far.
While you are first starting to get the hang of acting mischievous, you need to be careful you don't take things too far. If you are ever in a situation where somebody may be hurt physically or emotionally, back out of the prank. Avoid anything that is illegal, like graffiti or arson.
There is a line between mild jesting and being a nuisance. It is not always clear, in the beginning, what side of the line you stand on.
Take advice from your peers seriously. If your friend says you are acting hurtful, you are becoming more of a nuisance than a mischief.
2. Creating Everyday Mischief
2-1. Act on your impulses.
If a thought of action enters your mind, go for it. Try to adjust your brain’s filter and act more spontaneously on what you want to do. Make a snowball and throw it at your buddy if the idea pops up. Spook a coworker by hiding behind their door. Draw a mustache on a poster on the side of the road.
One aspect of acting on impulses is to take a step outside of your comfort zone. For example, instead of taking the same route home, go a different route, even if you’re unclear about the directions. You’ll be forced into a new area and will rely on your instincts to direct you.
Try to spend a day channeling your inner-practical joker. You could pick up a whoopee cushion from the dollar store and test it out on people. Another easy joke is the fake gum pack: purchase a trick gum pack and offer a stick to your friends. Instead of a stick of gum, they’ll get a small pinch.
2-2. Seek out competitions.
Creating contests everyday between your friends or yourself can enhance your days. Competitions can add fun and even a sense of danger to typical routine. Here are some examples of easy competitions you can try out:
You and a colleague play a contest of who can say “meow” in professional conversations the most.
Play a game of who can get through a crowded hallway or sidewalk the fastest.
See how many high fives you can get in a day.
2-3. Swear.
Swearing is not appropriate in many situations and can even get you grounded. The act of swearing can be viewed as a common trait to being mischievous. When you’re feeling flustered and don’t know where to turn; say a ‘’bad’’ word. Swearing allows people to release pain or anger by activating the brain's circuitry that is linked to emotions.
Don’t cross the societal boundaries by swearing at the bank or in school. Use swear words with caution.
If you're uncomfortable cursing, you can use safer words that give off the cursing effect like: "dang," "frick," or "shoot."
2-4. Stall your time.
In today’s culture of instant gratification, slowing down can actually be mischievous. Slowing down in aspects of your life can have positive mental benefits. If you are asked to speak for a presentation, begin by stalling with a joke. It can be more effective for the audience and yourself to stall for comfort.
You can use this idea for any part of your life. For example, try walking as slow as you can on the sidewalk or into class.
Use it in your speech for fun. For example: during a conversation with a family or friend, start slowing down your words. It will add a small bit of mischief to an everyday event.
2-5. Be untidy.
Don’t live a messy life, but don’t be afraid to create a mess. Though it may be your ritual to make your bed every morning, try leaving it unmade one day. Kick your shoes off and leave your socks in the middle of the floor. Go see a movie instead of doing your laundry or washing the dishes.
Being untidy signifies a carefree mentality, which can be interpreted as mischievous.
If you tuck in your shirt everyday, leave it loose one day and see how you feel.
2-6. Listen to loud music.
Turn up your speaker to 7, instead of 3, and rock out. One of the best feelings is playing your favorite music in the summer with the windows down. You can irritate those around you by blasting music out of your car.
The punk rocker is a classic icon of mischief. Be a punk who values loud music and has an in-your-face attitude.
To get inspired, try listening to classic punk bands like The Ramones, The New York Dolls, or The Clash.
3. Pulling Mischievous Pranks
3-1. See the prank potential in every situation.
Mischief does not have to be a large act. Use your situation to create a prank without exerting much effort. Approach any situation as an opportunity to pull a mischievous prank. Act on your spontaneous thoughts as they enter your mind. Look at these examples of how to interact with an everyday situation:
When your teacher steps out of the room, run up and either erase something or write something unusual.
The same thing can be done to your boss. If they step away at lunch, move their pencil cup or rotate their computer in a new position. Do this in small increments each time. Then they are left to wonder at the change.
3-2. Use your voice.
Do you have a desire to make strange noises? Pick a moment when there are just 2-3 people in a room. Say something random or just make a silly noise. Pretend you didn't notice anything odd. You could also sing one of your favorite songs at a random time. Pretend you have headphones on, even if you don't. Keep your eyes closed for effect.
Be aware of angering people around you. Try not to annoy somebody on the street. If you’re confronted by someone, apologize and be silent.
3-3. Use an air horn.
There is nothing more annoying and attention-grabbing. Use duct tape to tape an air horn’s base to a door stopper. Make sure the horn is facing towards the door. When someone enters the room, they’ll be shocked by the sound of the air horn.
If you’re in an office, you can do the same technique, but on an office seat. Use duct tape to tape the base of an air horn to legs of an office chair. When your colleague goes to sit down, they bounce back up with a fright from the air horn.
3-4. Cover someone's room with celebrity pictures.
You can pull this prank on a family member or on an office colleague. Print off a dozen different photos of the same celebrity. Then tape the pictures to the walls of their room or office. Use a celebrity that this person is annoyed, by like Justin Beaver or Martin Shkreli.
You could even take the prank further by writing out "I love Kanye" or whichever celebrity you plan to use. Write out this phrase several times on multiple sheets of paper.
3-5. Wrap up someone's belongings.
This is especially a good prank for the office environment or for a teacher. Take a few things on their desk, like a computer, stapler, textbook or keyboard, and wrap them up. You can use aluminum foil, Christmas wrapping paper or even old newspapers.
For an added effect, wrap their entire desk with the same wrapping paper.
Tips
Record your exploits in a video, launch it on YouTube, see if you can become a meme.
Ask for new ideas of what people think of as mischievous.
Keep a diary of what you've tried, the date you tried it on, and the reactions you get.
Warnings
Do not be bold or brash publicly. This is not the point of mischievousness. Your aim is to do whatever you do on the sly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:17",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cultivating the Characteristics of a Mischievous Person\\n1-1. Look for opportunities to make mischief.\\nEvery seemingly normal situation can be made funnier and more interesting when you add some mischief. Change the way you see everyday life in order to create something fresh and act differently.\\nFor example, instead of seeing a banana on the table as just a piece of fruit, pick it up and start talking to your dentist. Cultivate your impulsive side by acting in ways you might not normally act.\\nBeing mischievous relies on your ability to act spontaneous. The point is to always be on the lookout for an opportunity.\\n1-2. Take life less seriously.\\nRisk taking is a critical aspect of being mischievous. Live to your fullest potential by not worrying too much about the consequences. If you tend to be a serious person, this can be a difficult. Try to replace your feelings of stress or anxiety with lightheartedness.\\nFor example: it’s late at night. You and your friends are bored and hungry. That's the perfect opportunity to go outside and find an adventure. Why not take a late night walk to the 24-hour diner across town?\\n1-3. Have mischievous role models.\\nThere might be someone in your friend group, class, or at work who is considered mischievous. Observe how they crack jokes or play practical jokes for fun. There is no need to seek out people who vandalize public property. These people aren't being mischievous; they're just being jerks.\\nDon’t ask for advice from this person, but instead observe how they act. You could even try to hang out with them if it is appropriate.\\nThere are many famous characters who are mischievous. For example, Peter Pan values play and friendship over anything else. Peter Pan can be reckless, but that is what makes him an influential and mischievous leader to the Lost Boys.\\n1-4. Avoid taking things too far.\\nWhile you are first starting to get the hang of acting mischievous, you need to be careful you don't take things too far. If you are ever in a situation where somebody may be hurt physically or emotionally, back out of the prank. Avoid anything that is illegal, like graffiti or arson.\\nThere is a line between mild jesting and being a nuisance. It is not always clear, in the beginning, what side of the line you stand on.\\nTake advice from your peers seriously. If your friend says you are acting hurtful, you are becoming more of a nuisance than a mischief.\\n2. Creating Everyday Mischief\\n2-1. Act on your impulses.\\nIf a thought of action enters your mind, go for it. Try to adjust your brain’s filter and act more spontaneously on what you want to do. Make a snowball and throw it at your buddy if the idea pops up. Spook a coworker by hiding behind their door. Draw a mustache on a poster on the side of the road.\\nOne aspect of acting on impulses is to take a step outside of your comfort zone. For example, instead of taking the same route home, go a different route, even if you’re unclear about the directions. You’ll be forced into a new area and will rely on your instincts to direct you.\\nTry to spend a day channeling your inner-practical joker. You could pick up a whoopee cushion from the dollar store and test it out on people. Another easy joke is the fake gum pack: purchase a trick gum pack and offer a stick to your friends. Instead of a stick of gum, they’ll get a small pinch.\\n2-2. Seek out competitions.\\nCreating contests everyday between your friends or yourself can enhance your days. Competitions can add fun and even a sense of danger to typical routine. Here are some examples of easy competitions you can try out:\\nYou and a colleague play a contest of who can say “meow” in professional conversations the most.\\nPlay a game of who can get through a crowded hallway or sidewalk the fastest.\\nSee how many high fives you can get in a day.\\n2-3. Swear.\\nSwearing is not appropriate in many situations and can even get you grounded. The act of swearing can be viewed as a common trait to being mischievous. When you’re feeling flustered and don’t know where to turn; say a ‘’bad’’ word. Swearing allows people to release pain or anger by activating the brain's circuitry that is linked to emotions.\\nDon’t cross the societal boundaries by swearing at the bank or in school. Use swear words with caution.\\nIf you're uncomfortable cursing, you can use safer words that give off the cursing effect like: \\\"dang,\\\" \\\"frick,\\\" or \\\"shoot.\\\"\\n2-4. Stall your time.\\nIn today’s culture of instant gratification, slowing down can actually be mischievous. Slowing down in aspects of your life can have positive mental benefits. If you are asked to speak for a presentation, begin by stalling with a joke. It can be more effective for the audience and yourself to stall for comfort.\\nYou can use this idea for any part of your life. For example, try walking as slow as you can on the sidewalk or into class.\\nUse it in your speech for fun. For example: during a conversation with a family or friend, start slowing down your words. It will add a small bit of mischief to an everyday event.\\n2-5. Be untidy.\\nDon’t live a messy life, but don’t be afraid to create a mess. Though it may be your ritual to make your bed every morning, try leaving it unmade one day. Kick your shoes off and leave your socks in the middle of the floor. Go see a movie instead of doing your laundry or washing the dishes.\\nBeing untidy signifies a carefree mentality, which can be interpreted as mischievous.\\nIf you tuck in your shirt everyday, leave it loose one day and see how you feel.\\n2-6. Listen to loud music.\\nTurn up your speaker to 7, instead of 3, and rock out. One of the best feelings is playing your favorite music in the summer with the windows down. You can irritate those around you by blasting music out of your car.\\nThe punk rocker is a classic icon of mischief. Be a punk who values loud music and has an in-your-face attitude.\\nTo get inspired, try listening to classic punk bands like The Ramones, The New York Dolls, or The Clash.\\n3. Pulling Mischievous Pranks\\n3-1. See the prank potential in every situation.\\nMischief does not have to be a large act. Use your situation to create a prank without exerting much effort. Approach any situation as an opportunity to pull a mischievous prank. Act on your spontaneous thoughts as they enter your mind. Look at these examples of how to interact with an everyday situation:\\nWhen your teacher steps out of the room, run up and either erase something or write something unusual.\\nThe same thing can be done to your boss. If they step away at lunch, move their pencil cup or rotate their computer in a new position. Do this in small increments each time. Then they are left to wonder at the change.\\n3-2. Use your voice.\\nDo you have a desire to make strange noises? Pick a moment when there are just 2-3 people in a room. Say something random or just make a silly noise. Pretend you didn't notice anything odd. You could also sing one of your favorite songs at a random time. Pretend you have headphones on, even if you don't. Keep your eyes closed for effect.\\nBe aware of angering people around you. Try not to annoy somebody on the street. If you’re confronted by someone, apologize and be silent.\\n3-3. Use an air horn.\\nThere is nothing more annoying and attention-grabbing. Use duct tape to tape an air horn’s base to a door stopper. Make sure the horn is facing towards the door. When someone enters the room, they’ll be shocked by the sound of the air horn.\\nIf you’re in an office, you can do the same technique, but on an office seat. Use duct tape to tape the base of an air horn to legs of an office chair. When your colleague goes to sit down, they bounce back up with a fright from the air horn.\\n3-4. Cover someone's room with celebrity pictures.\\nYou can pull this prank on a family member or on an office colleague. Print off a dozen different photos of the same celebrity. Then tape the pictures to the walls of their room or office. Use a celebrity that this person is annoyed, by like Justin Beaver or Martin Shkreli.\\nYou could even take the prank further by writing out \\\"I love Kanye\\\" or whichever celebrity you plan to use. Write out this phrase several times on multiple sheets of paper.\\n3-5. Wrap up someone's belongings.\\nThis is especially a good prank for the office environment or for a teacher. Take a few things on their desk, like a computer, stapler, textbook or keyboard, and wrap them up. You can use aluminum foil, Christmas wrapping paper or even old newspapers.\\nFor an added effect, wrap their entire desk with the same wrapping paper.\\nTips\\nRecord your exploits in a video, launch it on YouTube, see if you can become a meme.\\nAsk for new ideas of what people think of as mischievous.\\nKeep a diary of what you've tried, the date you tried it on, and the reactions you get.\\nWarnings\\nDo not be bold or brash publicly. This is not the point of mischievousness. Your aim is to do whatever you do on the sly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being mischievous is all about taking risks to make life more fun. Everyone loves knowing someone with a playful, mischievous mindset and attitude. Some people are naturally more spontaneous and playful than others, but anyone can learn how to spice up a situation with some mischief. Keep your mischief light, and avoid illegal or harmful actions that could sour people's fun.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivating the Characteristics of a Mischievous Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for opportunities to make mischief.\", \"描述\": \"Every seemingly normal situation can be made funnier and more interesting when you add some mischief. Change the way you see everyday life in order to create something fresh and act differently.\\nFor example, instead of seeing a banana on the table as just a piece of fruit, pick it up and start talking to your dentist. Cultivate your impulsive side by acting in ways you might not normally act.\\nBeing mischievous relies on your ability to act spontaneous. The point is to always be on the lookout for an opportunity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take life less seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Risk taking is a critical aspect of being mischievous. Live to your fullest potential by not worrying too much about the consequences. If you tend to be a serious person, this can be a difficult. Try to replace your feelings of stress or anxiety with lightheartedness.\\nFor example: it’s late at night. You and your friends are bored and hungry. That's the perfect opportunity to go outside and find an adventure. Why not take a late night walk to the 24-hour diner across town?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have mischievous role models.\", \"描述\": \"There might be someone in your friend group, class, or at work who is considered mischievous. Observe how they crack jokes or play practical jokes for fun. There is no need to seek out people who vandalize public property. These people aren't being mischievous; they're just being jerks.\\nDon’t ask for advice from this person, but instead observe how they act. You could even try to hang out with them if it is appropriate.\\nThere are many famous characters who are mischievous. For example, Peter Pan values play and friendship over anything else. Peter Pan can be reckless, but that is what makes him an influential and mischievous leader to the Lost Boys.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid taking things too far.\", \"描述\": \"While you are first starting to get the hang of acting mischievous, you need to be careful you don't take things too far. If you are ever in a situation where somebody may be hurt physically or emotionally, back out of the prank. Avoid anything that is illegal, like graffiti or arson.\\nThere is a line between mild jesting and being a nuisance. It is not always clear, in the beginning, what side of the line you stand on.\\nTake advice from your peers seriously. If your friend says you are acting hurtful, you are becoming more of a nuisance than a mischief.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating Everyday Mischief\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act on your impulses.\", \"描述\": \"If a thought of action enters your mind, go for it. Try to adjust your brain’s filter and act more spontaneously on what you want to do. Make a snowball and throw it at your buddy if the idea pops up. Spook a coworker by hiding behind their door. Draw a mustache on a poster on the side of the road.\\nOne aspect of acting on impulses is to take a step outside of your comfort zone. For example, instead of taking the same route home, go a different route, even if you’re unclear about the directions. You’ll be forced into a new area and will rely on your instincts to direct you.\\nTry to spend a day channeling your inner-practical joker. You could pick up a whoopee cushion from the dollar store and test it out on people. Another easy joke is the fake gum pack: purchase a trick gum pack and offer a stick to your friends. Instead of a stick of gum, they’ll get a small pinch.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seek out competitions.\", \"描述\": \"Creating contests everyday between your friends or yourself can enhance your days. Competitions can add fun and even a sense of danger to typical routine. Here are some examples of easy competitions you can try out:\\nYou and a colleague play a contest of who can say “meow” in professional conversations the most.\\nPlay a game of who can get through a crowded hallway or sidewalk the fastest.\\nSee how many high fives you can get in a day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Swear.\", \"描述\": \"Swearing is not appropriate in many situations and can even get you grounded. The act of swearing can be viewed as a common trait to being mischievous. When you’re feeling flustered and don’t know where to turn; say a ‘’bad’’ word. Swearing allows people to release pain or anger by activating the brain's circuitry that is linked to emotions.\\nDon’t cross the societal boundaries by swearing at the bank or in school. Use swear words with caution.\\nIf you're uncomfortable cursing, you can use safer words that give off the cursing effect like: \\\"dang,\\\" \\\"frick,\\\" or \\\"shoot.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stall your time.\", \"描述\": \"In today’s culture of instant gratification, slowing down can actually be mischievous. Slowing down in aspects of your life can have positive mental benefits. If you are asked to speak for a presentation, begin by stalling with a joke. It can be more effective for the audience and yourself to stall for comfort.\\nYou can use this idea for any part of your life. For example, try walking as slow as you can on the sidewalk or into class.\\nUse it in your speech for fun. For example: during a conversation with a family or friend, start slowing down your words. It will add a small bit of mischief to an everyday event.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be untidy.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t live a messy life, but don’t be afraid to create a mess. Though it may be your ritual to make your bed every morning, try leaving it unmade one day. Kick your shoes off and leave your socks in the middle of the floor. Go see a movie instead of doing your laundry or washing the dishes.\\nBeing untidy signifies a carefree mentality, which can be interpreted as mischievous.\\nIf you tuck in your shirt everyday, leave it loose one day and see how you feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to loud music.\", \"描述\": \"Turn up your speaker to 7, instead of 3, and rock out. One of the best feelings is playing your favorite music in the summer with the windows down. You can irritate those around you by blasting music out of your car.\\nThe punk rocker is a classic icon of mischief. Be a punk who values loud music and has an in-your-face attitude.\\nTo get inspired, try listening to classic punk bands like The Ramones, The New York Dolls, or The Clash.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pulling Mischievous Pranks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See the prank potential in every situation.\", \"描述\": \"Mischief does not have to be a large act. Use your situation to create a prank without exerting much effort. Approach any situation as an opportunity to pull a mischievous prank. Act on your spontaneous thoughts as they enter your mind. Look at these examples of how to interact with an everyday situation:\\nWhen your teacher steps out of the room, run up and either erase something or write something unusual.\\nThe same thing can be done to your boss. If they step away at lunch, move their pencil cup or rotate their computer in a new position. Do this in small increments each time. Then they are left to wonder at the change.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use your voice.\", \"描述\": \"Do you have a desire to make strange noises? Pick a moment when there are just 2-3 people in a room. Say something random or just make a silly noise. Pretend you didn't notice anything odd. You could also sing one of your favorite songs at a random time. Pretend you have headphones on, even if you don't. Keep your eyes closed for effect.\\nBe aware of angering people around you. Try not to annoy somebody on the street. If you’re confronted by someone, apologize and be silent.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use an air horn.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing more annoying and attention-grabbing. Use duct tape to tape an air horn’s base to a door stopper. Make sure the horn is facing towards the door. When someone enters the room, they’ll be shocked by the sound of the air horn.\\nIf you’re in an office, you can do the same technique, but on an office seat. Use duct tape to tape the base of an air horn to legs of an office chair. When your colleague goes to sit down, they bounce back up with a fright from the air horn.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Cover someone's room with celebrity pictures.\", \"描述\": \"You can pull this prank on a family member or on an office colleague. Print off a dozen different photos of the same celebrity. Then tape the pictures to the walls of their room or office. Use a celebrity that this person is annoyed, by like Justin Beaver or Martin Shkreli.\\nYou could even take the prank further by writing out \\\"I love Kanye\\\" or whichever celebrity you plan to use. Write out this phrase several times on multiple sheets of paper.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wrap up someone's belongings.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially a good prank for the office environment or for a teacher. Take a few things on their desk, like a computer, stapler, textbook or keyboard, and wrap them up. You can use aluminum foil, Christmas wrapping paper or even old newspapers.\\nFor an added effect, wrap their entire desk with the same wrapping paper.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Record your exploits in a video, launch it on YouTube, see if you can become a meme.\\n\", \"Ask for new ideas of what people think of as mischievous.\\n\", \"Keep a diary of what you've tried, the date you tried it on, and the reactions you get.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not be bold or brash publicly. This is not the point of mischievousness. Your aim is to do whatever you do on the sly.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,927 | How to Be Miss Universe | 1. Qualifying for Miss Universe
1-1. Meet the age requirements.
Miss Universe contestants must be between the ages of 18 and 27 as of Jan. 1 in the year of they compete.
1-2. Wait to get married.
Contestants may not be married or pregnant, have ever been married, had a marriage annulled or given birth to or parented a child.
1-3. Know your competition.
Contestants are judged in three categories: evening gown, swimsuit, and a personality interview. There is no talent competition.
1-4. Enter the pageant.
Potential contestants must apply to enter the Miss Universe pageant by applying through the national director in their respective countries. In the United States, potential contestants must first qualify for the Miss USA pageant by contacting their local state directors.
2. Preparing to Compete for Miss Universe
2-1. Stay in shape.
Exercise and eat healthy. Remember, Miss Universe contestants are judged on their appearance wearing a bathing suit.
2-2. Pamper your skin.
Don't be afraid to splurge on products that bring out the beauty of your skin, including acne-fighting cleansers and moisturizer. Avoid sun damage by applying sunscreen any time you are outdoors.
2-3. Remove unwanted body hair.
Most Miss Universe contestants choose waxing, as the results last for several days. You should wax several days before the pageant, but not so close to the day of the event that your skin is still visibly irritated or red from the waxing. Wax the bikini lines, armpits, legs, and mustache (if you have one).
If you have never waxed before, make an appointment at least a week before the big event to see how your skin reacts to it. You can always book a follow-up appointment or shave any stubble.
2-4. Work with a pageant coach.
A coach can teach you skills and ways to walk, act and look throughout a pageant. Ask your friends and fellow pageant participants for recommendations. You can also search online at pageant sites to find coaches.
Many contestants even enroll in modeling classes to work on their walk and posing.
2-5. Prepare for your interview.
Educate yourself and form opinions of current and recent events around the world. Determine your platform, the cause you care most about that you will work toward during your reign should you win the pageant.
Certain types of questions commonly recur in pageant interviews. Research the most common interview questions and prepare answers for them at places like Pageant Answers.
Expect to be asked questions such as, "Who is your greatest influence?" "What is the greatest environmental issue facing the world today?" and "What constitutes true beauty?"
3. Purchasing Pageant Gear
3-1. Save for wardrobe, entry fee and travel.
The entry fee can be as much as $1,000, and you need a dress which can cost upwards of $5,000. Hair and make-up can cost $400 per hour. You will also need money to cover your travel costs.
3-2. Buy high-quality makeup.
Don't use makeup products from discount stores. Instead, buy quality makeup from department stores and specialty shops.
3-3. Purchase your wardrobe.
You will need an evening gown, a bathing suit and an outfit to wear to the preliminary interviews. You will also need shoes to accompany each outfit.
For the swimming suit, choose a solid color or black. One piece or two piece are both acceptable. Wear at the most four-inch heels that match your swimsuit.
For the evening gown, wear something that reflects your personality and fits you very well. While you might be tempted to buy online, it's better to purchase a gown you've tried on first.
For the interview, wear a neutral skirt suit or a sheath dress in a color that goes well with your skin tone. Wear matching heels.
4. Behaving During the Pageant
4-1. Act appropriately.
Be on your best, most ladylike behavior throughout the days of the pageant. Stand up straight at all times and smile. Do not swear, do drugs, smoke, etc. Present yourself with class and manners. You never know when a judge might be nearby.
4-2. Ace the interview.
Remain calm and relaxed, yet enthusiastic and upbeat. Pretend you're talking to family or friends, but at the same time, be especially polite and appropriate. Don't show your nerves, instead stand up tall and show confidence.
At your interview, only shake the judges hand if they extend it first, and say good morning, good evening, good afternoon, whatever fits the time of day.
If standing during the interview, stand tall and proud with your back straight, shoulders back and face forward. If sitting, keep your back straight, cross your ankles and fold your hands in your lap.
4-3. Stay calm and be polite with the crew and fellow contestants.
How you act backstage will reflect on how you perform on stage.
Do not get agitated if provoked. This is a common incident as jealousy and fear are experienced by all the contestants.
5. Competing in the Pageant
5-1. Showcase your fitness in a bathing suit confidently.
The swimsuit competition can bring some women to their breaking points as they present partially-clothed bodies to millions.
Avoid showing more than you intend by applying butt glue and sewing a piece of flesh-colored material into your swimsuit bottoms.
Wearing flesh-colored heels will not only cause your legs to appear longer, but also will not detract from your fitness and smile.
Practice posing for the swimsuit competition in front of a mirror so you know what stances present your body in the best light.
By preparing for the swimsuit competition, you will find yourself more confident when you walk across the stage.
5-2. Show your personality.
During the interview, don't give the same cookie-cutter answers that judges hear from everyone. Instead, add your own personality to your answer while still providing a poised and confident response. Unique contestants will be at the forefront of judges' minds.
5-3. Present yourself elegantly.
During the evening gown competition, judges are looking for a contestant who is regal and elegant. A contestant's walk is just as important as her choice of gown. Judges score each contestant on how graceful, poised, and composed she appears.
Glide down the runway, with no bouncy movement. Practice the classic “book-on-your-head” method for perfecting posture.
Shorter steps also help achieve the proper pageant walk.
5-4. Smile, regardless of the outcome.
If you don't win, don't be mad. Take defeat with grace.
Tips
If you do not understand a question asked by a judge or anyone else, do not bluff. Ask them the question again politely and then answer the best you can.
Take the pageant as a responsibility as you will be representing not just yourself but your country and the judges' decision about you.
You do not need to speak English to compete in a Miss Universe pageant. They have translators for both the judges and the entrants during introductions and the on-stage questions. They also have translators during the interview!
Warnings
Protect your pageant gear. Do not rely on anyone you don't know to watch or care for your belongings. It may get stolen by unfamiliar people, and you can't compete without your makeup and wardrobe.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:18",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Qualifying for Miss Universe\\n1-1. Meet the age requirements.\\nMiss Universe contestants must be between the ages of 18 and 27 as of Jan. 1 in the year of they compete.\\n1-2. Wait to get married.\\nContestants may not be married or pregnant, have ever been married, had a marriage annulled or given birth to or parented a child.\\n1-3. Know your competition.\\nContestants are judged in three categories: evening gown, swimsuit, and a personality interview. There is no talent competition.\\n1-4. Enter the pageant.\\nPotential contestants must apply to enter the Miss Universe pageant by applying through the national director in their respective countries. In the United States, potential contestants must first qualify for the Miss USA pageant by contacting their local state directors.\\n2. Preparing to Compete for Miss Universe\\n2-1. Stay in shape.\\nExercise and eat healthy. Remember, Miss Universe contestants are judged on their appearance wearing a bathing suit.\\n2-2. Pamper your skin.\\nDon't be afraid to splurge on products that bring out the beauty of your skin, including acne-fighting cleansers and moisturizer. Avoid sun damage by applying sunscreen any time you are outdoors.\\n2-3. Remove unwanted body hair.\\nMost Miss Universe contestants choose waxing, as the results last for several days. You should wax several days before the pageant, but not so close to the day of the event that your skin is still visibly irritated or red from the waxing. Wax the bikini lines, armpits, legs, and mustache (if you have one).\\nIf you have never waxed before, make an appointment at least a week before the big event to see how your skin reacts to it. You can always book a follow-up appointment or shave any stubble.\\n2-4. Work with a pageant coach.\\nA coach can teach you skills and ways to walk, act and look throughout a pageant. Ask your friends and fellow pageant participants for recommendations. You can also search online at pageant sites to find coaches.\\nMany contestants even enroll in modeling classes to work on their walk and posing.\\n2-5. Prepare for your interview.\\nEducate yourself and form opinions of current and recent events around the world. Determine your platform, the cause you care most about that you will work toward during your reign should you win the pageant.\\nCertain types of questions commonly recur in pageant interviews. Research the most common interview questions and prepare answers for them at places like Pageant Answers.\\nExpect to be asked questions such as, \\\"Who is your greatest influence?\\\" \\\"What is the greatest environmental issue facing the world today?\\\" and \\\"What constitutes true beauty?\\\"\\n3. Purchasing Pageant Gear\\n3-1. Save for wardrobe, entry fee and travel.\\nThe entry fee can be as much as $1,000, and you need a dress which can cost upwards of $5,000. Hair and make-up can cost $400 per hour. You will also need money to cover your travel costs.\\n3-2. Buy high-quality makeup.\\nDon't use makeup products from discount stores. Instead, buy quality makeup from department stores and specialty shops.\\n3-3. Purchase your wardrobe.\\nYou will need an evening gown, a bathing suit and an outfit to wear to the preliminary interviews. You will also need shoes to accompany each outfit.\\nFor the swimming suit, choose a solid color or black. One piece or two piece are both acceptable. Wear at the most four-inch heels that match your swimsuit.\\nFor the evening gown, wear something that reflects your personality and fits you very well. While you might be tempted to buy online, it's better to purchase a gown you've tried on first.\\nFor the interview, wear a neutral skirt suit or a sheath dress in a color that goes well with your skin tone. Wear matching heels.\\n4. Behaving During the Pageant\\n4-1. Act appropriately.\\nBe on your best, most ladylike behavior throughout the days of the pageant. Stand up straight at all times and smile. Do not swear, do drugs, smoke, etc. Present yourself with class and manners. You never know when a judge might be nearby.\\n4-2. Ace the interview.\\nRemain calm and relaxed, yet enthusiastic and upbeat. Pretend you're talking to family or friends, but at the same time, be especially polite and appropriate. Don't show your nerves, instead stand up tall and show confidence.\\nAt your interview, only shake the judges hand if they extend it first, and say good morning, good evening, good afternoon, whatever fits the time of day.\\nIf standing during the interview, stand tall and proud with your back straight, shoulders back and face forward. If sitting, keep your back straight, cross your ankles and fold your hands in your lap.\\n4-3. Stay calm and be polite with the crew and fellow contestants.\\nHow you act backstage will reflect on how you perform on stage.\\nDo not get agitated if provoked. This is a common incident as jealousy and fear are experienced by all the contestants.\\n5. Competing in the Pageant\\n5-1. Showcase your fitness in a bathing suit confidently.\\nThe swimsuit competition can bring some women to their breaking points as they present partially-clothed bodies to millions.\\nAvoid showing more than you intend by applying butt glue and sewing a piece of flesh-colored material into your swimsuit bottoms.\\nWearing flesh-colored heels will not only cause your legs to appear longer, but also will not detract from your fitness and smile.\\nPractice posing for the swimsuit competition in front of a mirror so you know what stances present your body in the best light.\\nBy preparing for the swimsuit competition, you will find yourself more confident when you walk across the stage.\\n5-2. Show your personality.\\nDuring the interview, don't give the same cookie-cutter answers that judges hear from everyone. Instead, add your own personality to your answer while still providing a poised and confident response. Unique contestants will be at the forefront of judges' minds.\\n5-3. Present yourself elegantly.\\nDuring the evening gown competition, judges are looking for a contestant who is regal and elegant. A contestant's walk is just as important as her choice of gown. Judges score each contestant on how graceful, poised, and composed she appears.\\nGlide down the runway, with no bouncy movement. Practice the classic “book-on-your-head” method for perfecting posture.\\nShorter steps also help achieve the proper pageant walk.\\n5-4. Smile, regardless of the outcome.\\nIf you don't win, don't be mad. Take defeat with grace.\\nTips\\nIf you do not understand a question asked by a judge or anyone else, do not bluff. Ask them the question again politely and then answer the best you can.\\nTake the pageant as a responsibility as you will be representing not just yourself but your country and the judges' decision about you.\\nYou do not need to speak English to compete in a Miss Universe pageant. They have translators for both the judges and the entrants during introductions and the on-stage questions. They also have translators during the interview!\\nWarnings\\nProtect your pageant gear. Do not rely on anyone you don't know to watch or care for your belongings. It may get stolen by unfamiliar people, and you can't compete without your makeup and wardrobe.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Founded in 1952, Miss Universe is one of the most recognized and publicized beauty contests in the world, consisting of national pageant winners from across the globe. Generally, a country's candidate selection involves pageants in major cities, whose winners compete in a national pageant. Women can take appropriate steps to ensure they qualify and are suited to win Miss Universe.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Qualifying for Miss Universe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meet the age requirements.\", \"描述\": \"Miss Universe contestants must be between the ages of 18 and 27 as of Jan. 1 in the year of they compete.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wait to get married.\", \"描述\": \"Contestants may not be married or pregnant, have ever been married, had a marriage annulled or given birth to or parented a child.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know your competition.\", \"描述\": \"Contestants are judged in three categories: evening gown, swimsuit, and a personality interview. There is no talent competition.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter the pageant.\", \"描述\": \"Potential contestants must apply to enter the Miss Universe pageant by applying through the national director in their respective countries. In the United States, potential contestants must first qualify for the Miss USA pageant by contacting their local state directors.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Compete for Miss Universe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay in shape.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise and eat healthy. Remember, Miss Universe contestants are judged on their appearance wearing a bathing suit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pamper your skin.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to splurge on products that bring out the beauty of your skin, including acne-fighting cleansers and moisturizer. Avoid sun damage by applying sunscreen any time you are outdoors.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remove unwanted body hair.\", \"描述\": \"Most Miss Universe contestants choose waxing, as the results last for several days. You should wax several days before the pageant, but not so close to the day of the event that your skin is still visibly irritated or red from the waxing. Wax the bikini lines, armpits, legs, and mustache (if you have one).\\nIf you have never waxed before, make an appointment at least a week before the big event to see how your skin reacts to it. You can always book a follow-up appointment or shave any stubble.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work with a pageant coach.\", \"描述\": \"A coach can teach you skills and ways to walk, act and look throughout a pageant. Ask your friends and fellow pageant participants for recommendations. You can also search online at pageant sites to find coaches.\\nMany contestants even enroll in modeling classes to work on their walk and posing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prepare for your interview.\", \"描述\": \"Educate yourself and form opinions of current and recent events around the world. Determine your platform, the cause you care most about that you will work toward during your reign should you win the pageant.\\nCertain types of questions commonly recur in pageant interviews. Research the most common interview questions and prepare answers for them at places like Pageant Answers.\\nExpect to be asked questions such as, \\\"Who is your greatest influence?\\\" \\\"What is the greatest environmental issue facing the world today?\\\" and \\\"What constitutes true beauty?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Purchasing Pageant Gear\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Save for wardrobe, entry fee and travel.\", \"描述\": \"The entry fee can be as much as $1,000, and you need a dress which can cost upwards of $5,000. Hair and make-up can cost $400 per hour. You will also need money to cover your travel costs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy high-quality makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Don't use makeup products from discount stores. Instead, buy quality makeup from department stores and specialty shops.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Purchase your wardrobe.\", \"描述\": \"You will need an evening gown, a bathing suit and an outfit to wear to the preliminary interviews. You will also need shoes to accompany each outfit.\\nFor the swimming suit, choose a solid color or black. One piece or two piece are both acceptable. Wear at the most four-inch heels that match your swimsuit.\\nFor the evening gown, wear something that reflects your personality and fits you very well. While you might be tempted to buy online, it's better to purchase a gown you've tried on first.\\nFor the interview, wear a neutral skirt suit or a sheath dress in a color that goes well with your skin tone. Wear matching heels.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Behaving During the Pageant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"Be on your best, most ladylike behavior throughout the days of the pageant. Stand up straight at all times and smile. Do not swear, do drugs, smoke, etc. Present yourself with class and manners. You never know when a judge might be nearby.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ace the interview.\", \"描述\": \"Remain calm and relaxed, yet enthusiastic and upbeat. Pretend you're talking to family or friends, but at the same time, be especially polite and appropriate. Don't show your nerves, instead stand up tall and show confidence.\\nAt your interview, only shake the judges hand if they extend it first, and say good morning, good evening, good afternoon, whatever fits the time of day.\\nIf standing during the interview, stand tall and proud with your back straight, shoulders back and face forward. If sitting, keep your back straight, cross your ankles and fold your hands in your lap.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay calm and be polite with the crew and fellow contestants.\", \"描述\": \"How you act backstage will reflect on how you perform on stage.\\nDo not get agitated if provoked. This is a common incident as jealousy and fear are experienced by all the contestants.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Competing in the Pageant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showcase your fitness in a bathing suit confidently.\", \"描述\": \"The swimsuit competition can bring some women to their breaking points as they present partially-clothed bodies to millions.\\nAvoid showing more than you intend by applying butt glue and sewing a piece of flesh-colored material into your swimsuit bottoms.\\nWearing flesh-colored heels will not only cause your legs to appear longer, but also will not detract from your fitness and smile.\\nPractice posing for the swimsuit competition in front of a mirror so you know what stances present your body in the best light.\\nBy preparing for the swimsuit competition, you will find yourself more confident when you walk across the stage.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show your personality.\", \"描述\": \"During the interview, don't give the same cookie-cutter answers that judges hear from everyone. Instead, add your own personality to your answer while still providing a poised and confident response. Unique contestants will be at the forefront of judges' minds.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Present yourself elegantly.\", \"描述\": \"During the evening gown competition, judges are looking for a contestant who is regal and elegant. A contestant's walk is just as important as her choice of gown. Judges score each contestant on how graceful, poised, and composed she appears.\\nGlide down the runway, with no bouncy movement. Practice the classic “book-on-your-head” method for perfecting posture.\\nShorter steps also help achieve the proper pageant walk.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Smile, regardless of the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't win, don't be mad. Take defeat with grace.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you do not understand a question asked by a judge or anyone else, do not bluff. Ask them the question again politely and then answer the best you can.\\n\", \"Take the pageant as a responsibility as you will be representing not just yourself but your country and the judges' decision about you.\\n\", \"You do not need to speak English to compete in a Miss Universe pageant. They have translators for both the judges and the entrants during introductions and the on-stage questions. They also have translators during the interview!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Protect your pageant gear. Do not rely on anyone you don't know to watch or care for your belongings. It may get stolen by unfamiliar people, and you can't compete without your makeup and wardrobe.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,928 | How to Be More Accountable in a Relationship | 1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
Note the changes you want to make while also emphasizing your skills.
First, think about the good that you bring to your relationship. How might you use your strengths to benefit your relationship? Then, consider what might need improving. How would you like to change going forward? Reflecting on your behavior in the relationship honestly is a huge step, as it helps you identify the changes that will improve your relationship.
Your strength may be that you are very generous and are always there when your partner needs help. How can you continue to be there for your partner in their times of need?
If you're a sensitive person, you might struggle to get through conflict without shutting down and ignoring your partner. How might you try to be more present in your relationship when things get tough?
If you're struggling to reflect, try journaling. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and recent day-to-day life in the relationship to learn more about yourself.
2. Set goals to help yourself improve.
Goals make holding yourself accountable more manageable.
Identify a few things about your behavior that you would like to change. Then, think about how you might go about making those changes. Set a timeframe for these goals that seems reasonable to you and consider writing them down so you won't forget them.
Maybe you would like to be more patient with your partner. For the next 2 weeks, make it your goal to stay calm when your partner is getting on your nerves.
Perhaps you want to be more honest with your partner. Your goal can be to tell the truth the next time you're tempted to hide something
3. Ask for feedback from your partner.
See if there is anything you can do to improve your relationship.
Pick a time when the two of you are alone and in a calm, relaxed state. Then, ask for your partner's feedback on how the relationship has been going for them and see if there is anything you can work on to make it better. To avoid getting defensive, try to really listen to what they're saying instead of coming up with a rebuttal.
You might say, "I'm so happy to be in this relationship, but I've noticed that we've been arguing a lot lately. Is there anything I can do to help us see eye to eye?"
Asking for honest feedback shows that you are willing to be vulnerable with your partner, and it may encourage them to do the same for you, too.
4. Empathize with your partner.
Keep your partner's point of view in mind to remain compassionate.
If you're trying to be accountable, especially during an argument, remember to always see things from your partner's perspective. Instead of lashing out immediately, consider what they may be thinking or feeling instead. Empathizing with your partner can help you stay calm and respond with more kindness.
Maybe your partner is upset that you rescheduled your date. Rather than getting defensive, think about their point of view. Does your partner have a busy schedule? Are they worried that this means that you didn't want to spend time together?
Even if you don't agree with your partner, acknowledging their perspective can help you diffuse the conflict and keep your response respectful and considerate.
5. Own your behavior and take responsibility.
Be honest with your partner instead of being defensive.
If your partner confronts you about something, you might be tempted to defend yourself or dismiss their feelings. Instead, listen to them and communicate honestly. Taking ownership of what you did, rather than denying it, can make a world of positive difference in your relationship.
Maybe your partner is upset that you were late to pick them up. Instead of saying, "It's just because the directions you gave me were wrong," take responsibility for what happened. Avoid playing the blaming game.
To be accountable, you might say, "I completely understand why you're frustrated. I should have left earlier to give myself more time."
Avoid taking the blame for your partner's actions. Blaming you for things out of your control is a warning sign of abusive behavior. To learn more, visit loveisrespect.org or thehotline.org.
Acceptance is the first step to be more accountable and responsible. We’ve all got a path to follow and evolve. Accept your past and grow from it, without judging your past self.
6. Give your partner a meaningful apology.
If you mess up, own it and promise to do better next time.
Taking responsibility for your behavior in a relationship requires apologizing genuinely. To apologize in a meaningful way, acknowledge your behavior rather than jumping to excuses. Then, reflect upon how your actions affected your partner. After, promise your partner to make a meaningful change going forward and follow through with it.
You might say, "I'm so sorry I haven't been prioritizing you in my schedule lately. I completely understand how that would hurt. This relationship means so much to me, and I promise to make more time for you going forward."
Make sure that you follow through with your promise by making meaningful changes.
7. Pause before reacting.
Hold yourself accountable by minimizing anger and outbursts.
It's more than okay to express your feelings in a relationship, but responding immediately with anger may make the situation worse. If something upsets you, take a moment to breathe and reflect on how you are feeling and why. It will help you remain accountable for your own behavior by responding in a calm, respectful way.
Maybe your partner is texting on a date again. Rather than lashing out, take a moment to consider your feelings and how you might express them in a kind, honest way. That way, you can communicate your feelings with a clear head.
8. Be honest when something is upsetting you.
Practice having uncomfortable but necessary conversations.
Part of holding yourself accountable is being transparent and honest about your feelings. Pick a time when the two of you are alone and let your partner know what's on your mind. Use I-statements to avoid making them defensive, and listen to what they have to say in response. Bringing up your concerns will help you find a compromise and work together.
You might say, "I completely understand that you have been busy, but I feel a little hurt when we don't spend time together throughout the week. How would you feel about making more time to see each other in our schedules?"
9. Forgive yourself.
Accountability takes practice, so be kind to yourself.
To forgive yourself, give your partner a meaningful apology, promise to do better next time, then let yourself move forward. Though it may be hard to let things go sometimes, it will help you truly make changes and be more accountable in the future.
If you're having trouble forgiving yourself, approach the situation like you would when forgiving a friend. If a friend made a mistake but took responsibility for it, would you forgive them? Most likely, you would be happy to.
10. Ask how you can help your partner.
Learn how your partner likes to be supported and held accountable.
If you're both working on becoming more accountable in your relationship, show that you're willing to work as a team. To help without making them defensive, try asking how your partner would like to be supported.
If your partner made the pledge to use their phone less on dates, ask if there is anything you can do to encourage them. You might say, "I think that's a great idea. Is there anything I can do to help you?"
11. Seek therapy for more guidance.
A therapist can give you the tools you need to be more accountable.
Learning to take responsibility is a challenging journey for everyone, so there is no shame in seeking outside support. A therapist can help you identify your relationship patterns and the areas you can improve to be more accountable for your actions. To find a therapist in your area, give Psychology Today's finder tool a try. To explore online counseling, check out BetterHelp.
If you and your partner are open to it, consider visiting a couple's therapist so that you can help keep each other accountable.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:18",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses.\\nNote the changes you want to make while also emphasizing your skills.\\nFirst, think about the good that you bring to your relationship. How might you use your strengths to benefit your relationship? Then, consider what might need improving. How would you like to change going forward? Reflecting on your behavior in the relationship honestly is a huge step, as it helps you identify the changes that will improve your relationship.\\nYour strength may be that you are very generous and are always there when your partner needs help. How can you continue to be there for your partner in their times of need?\\nIf you're a sensitive person, you might struggle to get through conflict without shutting down and ignoring your partner. How might you try to be more present in your relationship when things get tough?\\nIf you're struggling to reflect, try journaling. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and recent day-to-day life in the relationship to learn more about yourself.\\n2. Set goals to help yourself improve.\\nGoals make holding yourself accountable more manageable.\\nIdentify a few things about your behavior that you would like to change. Then, think about how you might go about making those changes. Set a timeframe for these goals that seems reasonable to you and consider writing them down so you won't forget them.\\nMaybe you would like to be more patient with your partner. For the next 2 weeks, make it your goal to stay calm when your partner is getting on your nerves.\\nPerhaps you want to be more honest with your partner. Your goal can be to tell the truth the next time you're tempted to hide something\\n3. Ask for feedback from your partner.\\nSee if there is anything you can do to improve your relationship.\\nPick a time when the two of you are alone and in a calm, relaxed state. Then, ask for your partner's feedback on how the relationship has been going for them and see if there is anything you can work on to make it better. To avoid getting defensive, try to really listen to what they're saying instead of coming up with a rebuttal.\\nYou might say, \\\"I'm so happy to be in this relationship, but I've noticed that we've been arguing a lot lately. Is there anything I can do to help us see eye to eye?\\\"\\nAsking for honest feedback shows that you are willing to be vulnerable with your partner, and it may encourage them to do the same for you, too.\\n4. Empathize with your partner.\\nKeep your partner's point of view in mind to remain compassionate.\\nIf you're trying to be accountable, especially during an argument, remember to always see things from your partner's perspective. Instead of lashing out immediately, consider what they may be thinking or feeling instead. Empathizing with your partner can help you stay calm and respond with more kindness.\\nMaybe your partner is upset that you rescheduled your date. Rather than getting defensive, think about their point of view. Does your partner have a busy schedule? Are they worried that this means that you didn't want to spend time together?\\nEven if you don't agree with your partner, acknowledging their perspective can help you diffuse the conflict and keep your response respectful and considerate.\\n5. Own your behavior and take responsibility.\\nBe honest with your partner instead of being defensive.\\nIf your partner confronts you about something, you might be tempted to defend yourself or dismiss their feelings. Instead, listen to them and communicate honestly. Taking ownership of what you did, rather than denying it, can make a world of positive difference in your relationship.\\nMaybe your partner is upset that you were late to pick them up. Instead of saying, \\\"It's just because the directions you gave me were wrong,\\\" take responsibility for what happened. Avoid playing the blaming game.\\nTo be accountable, you might say, \\\"I completely understand why you're frustrated. I should have left earlier to give myself more time.\\\"\\nAvoid taking the blame for your partner's actions. Blaming you for things out of your control is a warning sign of abusive behavior. To learn more, visit loveisrespect.org or thehotline.org.\\nAcceptance is the first step to be more accountable and responsible. We’ve all got a path to follow and evolve. Accept your past and grow from it, without judging your past self.\\n6. Give your partner a meaningful apology.\\nIf you mess up, own it and promise to do better next time.\\nTaking responsibility for your behavior in a relationship requires apologizing genuinely. To apologize in a meaningful way, acknowledge your behavior rather than jumping to excuses. Then, reflect upon how your actions affected your partner. After, promise your partner to make a meaningful change going forward and follow through with it.\\nYou might say, \\\"I'm so sorry I haven't been prioritizing you in my schedule lately. I completely understand how that would hurt. This relationship means so much to me, and I promise to make more time for you going forward.\\\"\\nMake sure that you follow through with your promise by making meaningful changes.\\n7. Pause before reacting.\\nHold yourself accountable by minimizing anger and outbursts.\\nIt's more than okay to express your feelings in a relationship, but responding immediately with anger may make the situation worse. If something upsets you, take a moment to breathe and reflect on how you are feeling and why. It will help you remain accountable for your own behavior by responding in a calm, respectful way.\\nMaybe your partner is texting on a date again. Rather than lashing out, take a moment to consider your feelings and how you might express them in a kind, honest way. That way, you can communicate your feelings with a clear head.\\n8. Be honest when something is upsetting you.\\nPractice having uncomfortable but necessary conversations.\\nPart of holding yourself accountable is being transparent and honest about your feelings. Pick a time when the two of you are alone and let your partner know what's on your mind. Use I-statements to avoid making them defensive, and listen to what they have to say in response. Bringing up your concerns will help you find a compromise and work together.\\nYou might say, \\\"I completely understand that you have been busy, but I feel a little hurt when we don't spend time together throughout the week. How would you feel about making more time to see each other in our schedules?\\\"\\n9. Forgive yourself.\\nAccountability takes practice, so be kind to yourself.\\nTo forgive yourself, give your partner a meaningful apology, promise to do better next time, then let yourself move forward. Though it may be hard to let things go sometimes, it will help you truly make changes and be more accountable in the future.\\nIf you're having trouble forgiving yourself, approach the situation like you would when forgiving a friend. If a friend made a mistake but took responsibility for it, would you forgive them? Most likely, you would be happy to.\\n10. Ask how you can help your partner.\\nLearn how your partner likes to be supported and held accountable.\\nIf you're both working on becoming more accountable in your relationship, show that you're willing to work as a team. To help without making them defensive, try asking how your partner would like to be supported.\\nIf your partner made the pledge to use their phone less on dates, ask if there is anything you can do to encourage them. You might say, \\\"I think that's a great idea. Is there anything I can do to help you?\\\"\\n11. Seek therapy for more guidance.\\nA therapist can give you the tools you need to be more accountable.\\nLearning to take responsibility is a challenging journey for everyone, so there is no shame in seeking outside support. A therapist can help you identify your relationship patterns and the areas you can improve to be more accountable for your actions. To find a therapist in your area, give Psychology Today's finder tool a try. To explore online counseling, check out BetterHelp.\\nIf you and your partner are open to it, consider visiting a couple's therapist so that you can help keep each other accountable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being accountable in a relationship means taking ownership of your actions and how they affect your partner, and it's a skill that gets easier with practice. If you want to learn how to be more accountable in your relationship, we're here to help. Keep reading to learn everything you need to know so that you can cultivate a relationship defined by trust, vulnerability, and respect.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify your strengths and weaknesses.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Note the changes you want to make while also emphasizing your skills.\", \"描述\": \"First, think about the good that you bring to your relationship. How might you use your strengths to benefit your relationship? Then, consider what might need improving. How would you like to change going forward? Reflecting on your behavior in the relationship honestly is a huge step, as it helps you identify the changes that will improve your relationship.\\nYour strength may be that you are very generous and are always there when your partner needs help. How can you continue to be there for your partner in their times of need?\\nIf you're a sensitive person, you might struggle to get through conflict without shutting down and ignoring your partner. How might you try to be more present in your relationship when things get tough?\\nIf you're struggling to reflect, try journaling. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and recent day-to-day life in the relationship to learn more about yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals to help yourself improve.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Goals make holding yourself accountable more manageable.\", \"描述\": \"Identify a few things about your behavior that you would like to change. Then, think about how you might go about making those changes. Set a timeframe for these goals that seems reasonable to you and consider writing them down so you won't forget them.\\nMaybe you would like to be more patient with your partner. For the next 2 weeks, make it your goal to stay calm when your partner is getting on your nerves.\\nPerhaps you want to be more honest with your partner. Your goal can be to tell the truth the next time you're tempted to hide something\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for feedback from your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See if there is anything you can do to improve your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a time when the two of you are alone and in a calm, relaxed state. Then, ask for your partner's feedback on how the relationship has been going for them and see if there is anything you can work on to make it better. To avoid getting defensive, try to really listen to what they're saying instead of coming up with a rebuttal.\\nYou might say, \\\"I'm so happy to be in this relationship, but I've noticed that we've been arguing a lot lately. Is there anything I can do to help us see eye to eye?\\\"\\nAsking for honest feedback shows that you are willing to be vulnerable with your partner, and it may encourage them to do the same for you, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Empathize with your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your partner's point of view in mind to remain compassionate.\", \"描述\": \"If you're trying to be accountable, especially during an argument, remember to always see things from your partner's perspective. Instead of lashing out immediately, consider what they may be thinking or feeling instead. Empathizing with your partner can help you stay calm and respond with more kindness.\\nMaybe your partner is upset that you rescheduled your date. Rather than getting defensive, think about their point of view. Does your partner have a busy schedule? Are they worried that this means that you didn't want to spend time together?\\nEven if you don't agree with your partner, acknowledging their perspective can help you diffuse the conflict and keep your response respectful and considerate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Own your behavior and take responsibility.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest with your partner instead of being defensive.\", \"描述\": \"If your partner confronts you about something, you might be tempted to defend yourself or dismiss their feelings. Instead, listen to them and communicate honestly. Taking ownership of what you did, rather than denying it, can make a world of positive difference in your relationship.\\nMaybe your partner is upset that you were late to pick them up. Instead of saying, \\\"It's just because the directions you gave me were wrong,\\\" take responsibility for what happened. Avoid playing the blaming game.\\nTo be accountable, you might say, \\\"I completely understand why you're frustrated. I should have left earlier to give myself more time.\\\"\\nAvoid taking the blame for your partner's actions. Blaming you for things out of your control is a warning sign of abusive behavior. To learn more, visit loveisrespect.org or thehotline.org.\\nAcceptance is the first step to be more accountable and responsible. We’ve all got a path to follow and evolve. Accept your past and grow from it, without judging your past self.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give your partner a meaningful apology.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you mess up, own it and promise to do better next time.\", \"描述\": \"Taking responsibility for your behavior in a relationship requires apologizing genuinely. To apologize in a meaningful way, acknowledge your behavior rather than jumping to excuses. Then, reflect upon how your actions affected your partner. After, promise your partner to make a meaningful change going forward and follow through with it.\\nYou might say, \\\"I'm so sorry I haven't been prioritizing you in my schedule lately. I completely understand how that would hurt. This relationship means so much to me, and I promise to make more time for you going forward.\\\"\\nMake sure that you follow through with your promise by making meaningful changes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pause before reacting.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hold yourself accountable by minimizing anger and outbursts.\", \"描述\": \"It's more than okay to express your feelings in a relationship, but responding immediately with anger may make the situation worse. If something upsets you, take a moment to breathe and reflect on how you are feeling and why. It will help you remain accountable for your own behavior by responding in a calm, respectful way.\\nMaybe your partner is texting on a date again. Rather than lashing out, take a moment to consider your feelings and how you might express them in a kind, honest way. That way, you can communicate your feelings with a clear head.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be honest when something is upsetting you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice having uncomfortable but necessary conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Part of holding yourself accountable is being transparent and honest about your feelings. Pick a time when the two of you are alone and let your partner know what's on your mind. Use I-statements to avoid making them defensive, and listen to what they have to say in response. Bringing up your concerns will help you find a compromise and work together.\\nYou might say, \\\"I completely understand that you have been busy, but I feel a little hurt when we don't spend time together throughout the week. How would you feel about making more time to see each other in our schedules?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accountability takes practice, so be kind to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"To forgive yourself, give your partner a meaningful apology, promise to do better next time, then let yourself move forward. Though it may be hard to let things go sometimes, it will help you truly make changes and be more accountable in the future.\\nIf you're having trouble forgiving yourself, approach the situation like you would when forgiving a friend. If a friend made a mistake but took responsibility for it, would you forgive them? Most likely, you would be happy to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ask how you can help your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn how your partner likes to be supported and held accountable.\", \"描述\": \"If you're both working on becoming more accountable in your relationship, show that you're willing to work as a team. To help without making them defensive, try asking how your partner would like to be supported.\\nIf your partner made the pledge to use their phone less on dates, ask if there is anything you can do to encourage them. You might say, \\\"I think that's a great idea. Is there anything I can do to help you?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Seek therapy for more guidance.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A therapist can give you the tools you need to be more accountable.\", \"描述\": \"Learning to take responsibility is a challenging journey for everyone, so there is no shame in seeking outside support. A therapist can help you identify your relationship patterns and the areas you can improve to be more accountable for your actions. To find a therapist in your area, give Psychology Today's finder tool a try. To explore online counseling, check out BetterHelp.\\nIf you and your partner are open to it, consider visiting a couple's therapist so that you can help keep each other accountable.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,929 | How to Be More Affectionate | 1. Increasing Affection with Touch
1-1. Recognize discomfort.
Some people are uncomfortable with touch because of personality, family history, intimacy issues or trauma. This can make it difficult to initiate or enjoy displays of physical affection, such as caressing, hugging, holding hands or cuddling.
Deal with your fears regarding intimacy and connecting physically with another person. Accept that you are afraid, and find out where it’s coming from. It can be helpful to realize that your fears are probably not related to your current partner or events, and to try to move past them.
Talk to your partner and let them know that you are uncomfortable and why. Ask him or her to be patient. Showing physical affection can be easier as you get to know someone better and deal with the root causes of your discomfort with physical intimacy. Plus, improving communication may lead to a closer and more affectionate relationship.
Talk to a professional about it. They can help you deal with the negative emotions related to your fears and get over your hesitation to show physical affection. If you don’t want to talk to someone, you can write about it in a journal or express your feelings in other ways.
Make showing physical affection a habit. Hold your partner’s hand, touch their shoulder or give them a hug as often as possible. Eventually, showing affection physically will come easier and more natural.
1-2. Schedule cuddle time with kids or spouses.
Touching helps relieve stress and pain, can help people cope and strengthen bonds. Put cuddle time on your daily schedule with your family to promote physical and psychological health. Date night, story time and even TV watching time can all be combined with cuddling.
1-3. Hold hands.
Whether it is with your partner or your kids, holding hands is quick, painless and can really cement your bond. In fact, it is probably one of the easiest ways to immediately increase the amount of physical affection you show for another person. Whether you are walking to the bus stop, through grocery isles or sitting at home on the couch, reach over and take someone’s hand that you care about.
1-4. Include physical touch in your list of health goals.
Having contact with your kids and partner can release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which lowers blood pressure. It can also help you control the stress hormone cortisol. Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which contributes to rewarding feelings and can even boost the immune system.
1-5. List healthy ways that you can be physically affectionate.
Physical affection is any touch that is meant to boost affectionate feelings or love in the giver or receiver. Write down your list so you can refer to it later. Then, make it a goal to do each method at various points throughout the week.
Some ways that you can show affection include: kissing, back rubs, massages, caressing, cuddling, holding, hugging and holding hands. There may be other methods specific to you or your relationship that can also relay feelings of love.
Although it may take 21 days to form a habit, the time length depends upon the person. Continue referencing this list for several months to permanently change how much physical affection you show.
1-6. Give playful nudges.
Finding humor with your partner can be enhanced by good-natured physical contact. This may be a gentle squeeze, shoulder or knee nudge, playful slap, knuckle nudge or soft push. Always be sure that your partner doesn’t mind when you nudge them and never hit hard, cause pain or leave bruises.
1-7. Put your feet together.
You can wrap your legs and feet together, play footsie under the table, put your feet in your partner’s lap or vice versa. This connects you physically and keeps you aware of each other’s presence if you are sitting directly across from him or her. Remember, any physical contact that is intended to convey affectionate feelings is a form of physical affection.
1-8. Try a massage.
Along with other forms of physical affection, giving massages can help bring you closer in your relationship. Additionally, massages have health benefits including: reducing stress, increased blood and nutrient flow and helping with pain. For all these reasons, a back, foot or body massage is a great way to show physical affection. Your partner will probably enjoy it and hopefully return the favor.
2. Increasing Verbal Affection
2-1. Give verbal affirmations.
Giving verbal affection, such as saying, “I love you” or “I care about you”, is an important way to strengthen bonds and is even good for you physically and mentally. Don’t let texting or emailing the ones you love replace verbal affection. If you are apart, then pick up the phone to check in because it’s more personal, even if it takes more time.
Verbal expressions of affection are the words you speak intended to validate your positive feelings of love and affection and make your partner feel loved. This can be unique to you, your partner and your relationship as long as what you say produces the intended emotions and reinforces your affection for each other.
If you must use electronic modes of communication, sign off with a phrase like “Thinking of you” or “Miss you” instead of a something generic.
2-2. Understand that long-distance relationships require more verbal affection.
Since you won’t be able to physically touch and bolster your bond that way, you will need to tell him or her how you feel more often. This is important to maintain the closeness in your relationship and reinforce feelings of safety, comfort and trust. If possible, use Skype or Google Hangout so you can make eye contact and pick up on physical cues while talking.
2-3. Compliment someone you care about every day.
Compliments are a form of showing verbal affection that can boost self-esteem, show you care and make the ones you care about feel good. Additionally, compliments motivate people to succeed because they believe they can. Always give truthful compliments though or you risk what you said being dismissed as shallow flattery.
Look for things that you admire, appreciate or that the other person is good at to compliment. This can be anything from the way they look, a feature of their face that you particularly enjoy (such as eyes or lips), a personality trait, accomplishments, the positive way they make you feel or a skillset that you admire.
Be honest, and don’t let opportunities to compliment those you love pass you by. Tell your wife, “You have beautiful eyes” while looking at her or “You complete me”, if it’s true. Tell your husband, “You look handsome in that shirt” when he gets ready for work or “You’re a great cook” when he makes you breakfast. Tell your child, “You’re so smart” when you see a report card or “You’re good at sports” after practice.
2-4. Greet your partner or children when they get home.
Stop what you are doing and interact with your partner or children so they know you care. You want them to know they are more important than anything else and that you missed them. Combine verbal affection with physical affection by giving your kids a peck on the cheek or top of the head. You may want to kiss your partner on the lips or cheek.
2-5. Nickname your partner or children.
A positive nickname shows that you have a special bond. The name you choose usually reflects some characteristic, habit or event related to the person. It can also be a shortened form of their legal name. Make sure that they are happy to be called by a nickname - some people prefer not to be addressed in this manner.
Some common nicknames include: Angel, Cowboy, Doll, Babe, Dear, Honey, Love or Sweetheart or Sweetie.
2-6. Take the time to say “thank you”.
Think of all the things the other person does for you or the ways they improve your life. Look them in the eyes and express your appreciation in a few sentences. You want them to know exactly how much you love and appreciate them and everything they do.
2-7. Don’t assume that “I love you” is the only way to express affection.
If you are not saying it, you should try to make it a regular part of your vocabulary. Phrases like “You’re great”, and “I’m so lucky to have you”, are also good ways to show affection. There is probably also something specific to your relationship, such as a mutual interest in cars, that allows you to expand on these simple phrases to include descriptions of something you really love for added meaning. If you love cars, then you might use a favorite vehicle to explain how you feel by saying, “You’re my 1968 Plymouth Road Runner Hemi.”
3. Developing Habits to Increase Affection
3-1. Return affection automatically.
Answer cues by returning hugs, complimenting, saying “I Love You,” kissing someone on the cheek or high fiving. Ignore the urge to hesitate during these moments. If you aren’t used to doing this, it may take some practice but will become second nature in time.
3-2. Don’t let only one parent be the “affectionate parent”.
In decades past, it was not as culturally important for dads to be affectionate to kids. However, times have changed. Both parents should strive to show affection to their children, even if it is not natural for one of them.
3-3. Make eye contact.
While you are cuddling, holding hands or giving a compliment, eye contact connects you further and shows you are serious. Studies have shown that staring into the eyes of someone you love (even a pet) can increase oxytocin hormone levels. This can make you both feel really good and is well worth the effort.
3-4. Give yourself goals.
Motivational strategists believe that good habits can be established by dreaming big about the way you would like things to be, such as being a more affectionate parent. Then, give yourself micro quotas, such as “I am going to spend 20 minutes conversing directly with my children every day.” Always break down larger goals into smaller goals so they are more obtainable and give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes more often.
3-5. Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional.
If you have no desire to show affection or feel affection but can’t express it, consider speaking to a counselor or therapist—either alone or with your partner. Relationships take work. Don’t associate couple’s counseling or seeking therapy on your own with weakness. If you love someone and want to make it work, then nothing should keep you from seeking help to make your relationship stronger.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:18",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Increasing Affection with Touch\\n1-1. Recognize discomfort.\\nSome people are uncomfortable with touch because of personality, family history, intimacy issues or trauma. This can make it difficult to initiate or enjoy displays of physical affection, such as caressing, hugging, holding hands or cuddling.\\nDeal with your fears regarding intimacy and connecting physically with another person. Accept that you are afraid, and find out where it’s coming from. It can be helpful to realize that your fears are probably not related to your current partner or events, and to try to move past them.\\nTalk to your partner and let them know that you are uncomfortable and why. Ask him or her to be patient. Showing physical affection can be easier as you get to know someone better and deal with the root causes of your discomfort with physical intimacy. Plus, improving communication may lead to a closer and more affectionate relationship.\\nTalk to a professional about it. They can help you deal with the negative emotions related to your fears and get over your hesitation to show physical affection. If you don’t want to talk to someone, you can write about it in a journal or express your feelings in other ways.\\nMake showing physical affection a habit. Hold your partner’s hand, touch their shoulder or give them a hug as often as possible. Eventually, showing affection physically will come easier and more natural.\\n1-2. Schedule cuddle time with kids or spouses.\\nTouching helps relieve stress and pain, can help people cope and strengthen bonds. Put cuddle time on your daily schedule with your family to promote physical and psychological health. Date night, story time and even TV watching time can all be combined with cuddling.\\n1-3. Hold hands.\\nWhether it is with your partner or your kids, holding hands is quick, painless and can really cement your bond. In fact, it is probably one of the easiest ways to immediately increase the amount of physical affection you show for another person. Whether you are walking to the bus stop, through grocery isles or sitting at home on the couch, reach over and take someone’s hand that you care about.\\n1-4. Include physical touch in your list of health goals.\\nHaving contact with your kids and partner can release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which lowers blood pressure. It can also help you control the stress hormone cortisol. Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which contributes to rewarding feelings and can even boost the immune system.\\n1-5. List healthy ways that you can be physically affectionate.\\nPhysical affection is any touch that is meant to boost affectionate feelings or love in the giver or receiver. Write down your list so you can refer to it later. Then, make it a goal to do each method at various points throughout the week.\\nSome ways that you can show affection include: kissing, back rubs, massages, caressing, cuddling, holding, hugging and holding hands. There may be other methods specific to you or your relationship that can also relay feelings of love.\\nAlthough it may take 21 days to form a habit, the time length depends upon the person. Continue referencing this list for several months to permanently change how much physical affection you show.\\n1-6. Give playful nudges.\\nFinding humor with your partner can be enhanced by good-natured physical contact. This may be a gentle squeeze, shoulder or knee nudge, playful slap, knuckle nudge or soft push. Always be sure that your partner doesn’t mind when you nudge them and never hit hard, cause pain or leave bruises.\\n1-7. Put your feet together.\\nYou can wrap your legs and feet together, play footsie under the table, put your feet in your partner’s lap or vice versa. This connects you physically and keeps you aware of each other’s presence if you are sitting directly across from him or her. Remember, any physical contact that is intended to convey affectionate feelings is a form of physical affection.\\n1-8. Try a massage.\\nAlong with other forms of physical affection, giving massages can help bring you closer in your relationship. Additionally, massages have health benefits including: reducing stress, increased blood and nutrient flow and helping with pain. For all these reasons, a back, foot or body massage is a great way to show physical affection. Your partner will probably enjoy it and hopefully return the favor.\\n2. Increasing Verbal Affection\\n2-1. Give verbal affirmations.\\nGiving verbal affection, such as saying, “I love you” or “I care about you”, is an important way to strengthen bonds and is even good for you physically and mentally. Don’t let texting or emailing the ones you love replace verbal affection. If you are apart, then pick up the phone to check in because it’s more personal, even if it takes more time.\\nVerbal expressions of affection are the words you speak intended to validate your positive feelings of love and affection and make your partner feel loved. This can be unique to you, your partner and your relationship as long as what you say produces the intended emotions and reinforces your affection for each other.\\nIf you must use electronic modes of communication, sign off with a phrase like “Thinking of you” or “Miss you” instead of a something generic.\\n2-2. Understand that long-distance relationships require more verbal affection.\\nSince you won’t be able to physically touch and bolster your bond that way, you will need to tell him or her how you feel more often. This is important to maintain the closeness in your relationship and reinforce feelings of safety, comfort and trust. If possible, use Skype or Google Hangout so you can make eye contact and pick up on physical cues while talking.\\n2-3. Compliment someone you care about every day.\\nCompliments are a form of showing verbal affection that can boost self-esteem, show you care and make the ones you care about feel good. Additionally, compliments motivate people to succeed because they believe they can. Always give truthful compliments though or you risk what you said being dismissed as shallow flattery.\\nLook for things that you admire, appreciate or that the other person is good at to compliment. This can be anything from the way they look, a feature of their face that you particularly enjoy (such as eyes or lips), a personality trait, accomplishments, the positive way they make you feel or a skillset that you admire.\\nBe honest, and don’t let opportunities to compliment those you love pass you by. Tell your wife, “You have beautiful eyes” while looking at her or “You complete me”, if it’s true. Tell your husband, “You look handsome in that shirt” when he gets ready for work or “You’re a great cook” when he makes you breakfast. Tell your child, “You’re so smart” when you see a report card or “You’re good at sports” after practice.\\n2-4. Greet your partner or children when they get home.\\nStop what you are doing and interact with your partner or children so they know you care. You want them to know they are more important than anything else and that you missed them. Combine verbal affection with physical affection by giving your kids a peck on the cheek or top of the head. You may want to kiss your partner on the lips or cheek.\\n2-5. Nickname your partner or children.\\nA positive nickname shows that you have a special bond. The name you choose usually reflects some characteristic, habit or event related to the person. It can also be a shortened form of their legal name. Make sure that they are happy to be called by a nickname - some people prefer not to be addressed in this manner.\\nSome common nicknames include: Angel, Cowboy, Doll, Babe, Dear, Honey, Love or Sweetheart or Sweetie.\\n2-6. Take the time to say “thank you”.\\nThink of all the things the other person does for you or the ways they improve your life. Look them in the eyes and express your appreciation in a few sentences. You want them to know exactly how much you love and appreciate them and everything they do.\\n2-7. Don’t assume that “I love you” is the only way to express affection.\\nIf you are not saying it, you should try to make it a regular part of your vocabulary. Phrases like “You’re great”, and “I’m so lucky to have you”, are also good ways to show affection. There is probably also something specific to your relationship, such as a mutual interest in cars, that allows you to expand on these simple phrases to include descriptions of something you really love for added meaning. If you love cars, then you might use a favorite vehicle to explain how you feel by saying, “You’re my 1968 Plymouth Road Runner Hemi.”\\n3. Developing Habits to Increase Affection\\n3-1. Return affection automatically.\\nAnswer cues by returning hugs, complimenting, saying “I Love You,” kissing someone on the cheek or high fiving. Ignore the urge to hesitate during these moments. If you aren’t used to doing this, it may take some practice but will become second nature in time.\\n3-2. Don’t let only one parent be the “affectionate parent”.\\nIn decades past, it was not as culturally important for dads to be affectionate to kids. However, times have changed. Both parents should strive to show affection to their children, even if it is not natural for one of them.\\n3-3. Make eye contact.\\nWhile you are cuddling, holding hands or giving a compliment, eye contact connects you further and shows you are serious. Studies have shown that staring into the eyes of someone you love (even a pet) can increase oxytocin hormone levels. This can make you both feel really good and is well worth the effort.\\n3-4. Give yourself goals.\\nMotivational strategists believe that good habits can be established by dreaming big about the way you would like things to be, such as being a more affectionate parent. Then, give yourself micro quotas, such as “I am going to spend 20 minutes conversing directly with my children every day.” Always break down larger goals into smaller goals so they are more obtainable and give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes more often.\\n3-5. Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional.\\nIf you have no desire to show affection or feel affection but can’t express it, consider speaking to a counselor or therapist—either alone or with your partner. Relationships take work. Don’t associate couple’s counseling or seeking therapy on your own with weakness. If you love someone and want to make it work, then nothing should keep you from seeking help to make your relationship stronger.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Affection is a physical expression of feelings. It is usually associated with love and long-term relationships because a steady stream of affection can make people closer. Studies have shown that children who receive high levels of caressing affection as children had lower levels of stress. Other studies have shown that relationships that have higher rates of physical affection report more relationship satisfaction.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Increasing Affection with Touch\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize discomfort.\", \"描述\": \"Some people are uncomfortable with touch because of personality, family history, intimacy issues or trauma. This can make it difficult to initiate or enjoy displays of physical affection, such as caressing, hugging, holding hands or cuddling.\\nDeal with your fears regarding intimacy and connecting physically with another person. Accept that you are afraid, and find out where it’s coming from. It can be helpful to realize that your fears are probably not related to your current partner or events, and to try to move past them.\\nTalk to your partner and let them know that you are uncomfortable and why. Ask him or her to be patient. Showing physical affection can be easier as you get to know someone better and deal with the root causes of your discomfort with physical intimacy. Plus, improving communication may lead to a closer and more affectionate relationship.\\nTalk to a professional about it. They can help you deal with the negative emotions related to your fears and get over your hesitation to show physical affection. If you don’t want to talk to someone, you can write about it in a journal or express your feelings in other ways.\\nMake showing physical affection a habit. Hold your partner’s hand, touch their shoulder or give them a hug as often as possible. Eventually, showing affection physically will come easier and more natural.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Schedule cuddle time with kids or spouses.\", \"描述\": \"Touching helps relieve stress and pain, can help people cope and strengthen bonds. Put cuddle time on your daily schedule with your family to promote physical and psychological health. Date night, story time and even TV watching time can all be combined with cuddling.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hold hands.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it is with your partner or your kids, holding hands is quick, painless and can really cement your bond. In fact, it is probably one of the easiest ways to immediately increase the amount of physical affection you show for another person. Whether you are walking to the bus stop, through grocery isles or sitting at home on the couch, reach over and take someone’s hand that you care about.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Include physical touch in your list of health goals.\", \"描述\": \"Having contact with your kids and partner can release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which lowers blood pressure. It can also help you control the stress hormone cortisol. Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which contributes to rewarding feelings and can even boost the immune system.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"List healthy ways that you can be physically affectionate.\", \"描述\": \"Physical affection is any touch that is meant to boost affectionate feelings or love in the giver or receiver. Write down your list so you can refer to it later. Then, make it a goal to do each method at various points throughout the week.\\nSome ways that you can show affection include: kissing, back rubs, massages, caressing, cuddling, holding, hugging and holding hands. There may be other methods specific to you or your relationship that can also relay feelings of love.\\nAlthough it may take 21 days to form a habit, the time length depends upon the person. Continue referencing this list for several months to permanently change how much physical affection you show.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give playful nudges.\", \"描述\": \"Finding humor with your partner can be enhanced by good-natured physical contact. This may be a gentle squeeze, shoulder or knee nudge, playful slap, knuckle nudge or soft push. Always be sure that your partner doesn’t mind when you nudge them and never hit hard, cause pain or leave bruises.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Put your feet together.\", \"描述\": \"You can wrap your legs and feet together, play footsie under the table, put your feet in your partner’s lap or vice versa. This connects you physically and keeps you aware of each other’s presence if you are sitting directly across from him or her. Remember, any physical contact that is intended to convey affectionate feelings is a form of physical affection.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Try a massage.\", \"描述\": \"Along with other forms of physical affection, giving massages can help bring you closer in your relationship. Additionally, massages have health benefits including: reducing stress, increased blood and nutrient flow and helping with pain. For all these reasons, a back, foot or body massage is a great way to show physical affection. Your partner will probably enjoy it and hopefully return the favor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Increasing Verbal Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give verbal affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"Giving verbal affection, such as saying, “I love you” or “I care about you”, is an important way to strengthen bonds and is even good for you physically and mentally. Don’t let texting or emailing the ones you love replace verbal affection. If you are apart, then pick up the phone to check in because it’s more personal, even if it takes more time.\\nVerbal expressions of affection are the words you speak intended to validate your positive feelings of love and affection and make your partner feel loved. This can be unique to you, your partner and your relationship as long as what you say produces the intended emotions and reinforces your affection for each other.\\nIf you must use electronic modes of communication, sign off with a phrase like “Thinking of you” or “Miss you” instead of a something generic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand that long-distance relationships require more verbal affection.\", \"描述\": \"Since you won’t be able to physically touch and bolster your bond that way, you will need to tell him or her how you feel more often. This is important to maintain the closeness in your relationship and reinforce feelings of safety, comfort and trust. If possible, use Skype or Google Hangout so you can make eye contact and pick up on physical cues while talking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compliment someone you care about every day.\", \"描述\": \"Compliments are a form of showing verbal affection that can boost self-esteem, show you care and make the ones you care about feel good. Additionally, compliments motivate people to succeed because they believe they can. Always give truthful compliments though or you risk what you said being dismissed as shallow flattery.\\nLook for things that you admire, appreciate or that the other person is good at to compliment. This can be anything from the way they look, a feature of their face that you particularly enjoy (such as eyes or lips), a personality trait, accomplishments, the positive way they make you feel or a skillset that you admire.\\nBe honest, and don’t let opportunities to compliment those you love pass you by. Tell your wife, “You have beautiful eyes” while looking at her or “You complete me”, if it’s true. Tell your husband, “You look handsome in that shirt” when he gets ready for work or “You’re a great cook” when he makes you breakfast. Tell your child, “You’re so smart” when you see a report card or “You’re good at sports” after practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Greet your partner or children when they get home.\", \"描述\": \"Stop what you are doing and interact with your partner or children so they know you care. You want them to know they are more important than anything else and that you missed them. Combine verbal affection with physical affection by giving your kids a peck on the cheek or top of the head. You may want to kiss your partner on the lips or cheek.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Nickname your partner or children.\", \"描述\": \"A positive nickname shows that you have a special bond. The name you choose usually reflects some characteristic, habit or event related to the person. It can also be a shortened form of their legal name. Make sure that they are happy to be called by a nickname - some people prefer not to be addressed in this manner.\\nSome common nicknames include: Angel, Cowboy, Doll, Babe, Dear, Honey, Love or Sweetheart or Sweetie.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take the time to say “thank you”.\", \"描述\": \"Think of all the things the other person does for you or the ways they improve your life. Look them in the eyes and express your appreciation in a few sentences. You want them to know exactly how much you love and appreciate them and everything they do.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t assume that “I love you” is the only way to express affection.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not saying it, you should try to make it a regular part of your vocabulary. Phrases like “You’re great”, and “I’m so lucky to have you”, are also good ways to show affection. There is probably also something specific to your relationship, such as a mutual interest in cars, that allows you to expand on these simple phrases to include descriptions of something you really love for added meaning. If you love cars, then you might use a favorite vehicle to explain how you feel by saying, “You’re my 1968 Plymouth Road Runner Hemi.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing Habits to Increase Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Return affection automatically.\", \"描述\": \"Answer cues by returning hugs, complimenting, saying “I Love You,” kissing someone on the cheek or high fiving. Ignore the urge to hesitate during these moments. If you aren’t used to doing this, it may take some practice but will become second nature in time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t let only one parent be the “affectionate parent”.\", \"描述\": \"In decades past, it was not as culturally important for dads to be affectionate to kids. However, times have changed. Both parents should strive to show affection to their children, even if it is not natural for one of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"While you are cuddling, holding hands or giving a compliment, eye contact connects you further and shows you are serious. Studies have shown that staring into the eyes of someone you love (even a pet) can increase oxytocin hormone levels. This can make you both feel really good and is well worth the effort.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give yourself goals.\", \"描述\": \"Motivational strategists believe that good habits can be established by dreaming big about the way you would like things to be, such as being a more affectionate parent. Then, give yourself micro quotas, such as “I am going to spend 20 minutes conversing directly with my children every day.” Always break down larger goals into smaller goals so they are more obtainable and give you the opportunity to celebrate your successes more often.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional.\", \"描述\": \"If you have no desire to show affection or feel affection but can’t express it, consider speaking to a counselor or therapist—either alone or with your partner. Relationships take work. Don’t associate couple’s counseling or seeking therapy on your own with weakness. If you love someone and want to make it work, then nothing should keep you from seeking help to make your relationship stronger.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,930 | How to Be More Aggressive | 1. Being Assertive Through Body Language and Behavior
1-1. Be assertive in your posture.
You want to appear in control, poised, and confident without looking awkward or uncomfortable.
Approach someone directly, rather than from the side of behind.
Maintain enough distance so you can hear the person but are not in their face.
Relax (do not slouch or hunch) your shoulders and spread your feet shoulder-width apart so your body weight is balanced evenly on both legs.
Fold or clasp your hands and hold them in front of your stomach, no higher than your diaphragm.
1-2. Maintain an assertive posture when sitting.
If you are addressing someone who is taller than you, suggest sitting down so you are at the same height. Find a table where you can sit and talk across from one another.
Sit with your back straight. Your head should be upright and evenly balanced on your shoulders. Avoid tilting your head to one side or hunching your shoulders.
Do not cross your legs. This can communicate that you are distracted or bored. Regularly crossing your legs when sitting may contribute to back pain or formation of spider veins.
Clasp or fold your hands on the table. Having your hands in a location where the other person can see them to establish trust and demonstrate your sincerity.
1-3. Be aware how you use your hands and fingers.
How you use your hands to communicate can set the tone for the rest of the conversation or interaction.
When gesturing to make a point, keep your fingers together and point with an open palm.
Avoid pointing or jabbing your finger at someone.
1-4. Be aware of your facial expressions.
Look the other person in the eye and relax your face.
Do not stare at the floor or look off to the side when speaking or listening. These will make you look nervous.
Do not clench your jaw or tense the muscles in your face.
Maintain direct eye contact, but avoid 'eye-balling' the other person.
2. Becoming a More Aggressive Communicator
2-1. Stand up for yourself and push back.
Express your point of view or needs in a way that is clear and direct. You want to come off as aggressive, not disrespectful.
Make sure you have someone's full attention before talking. Talk face-to-face, not to their back.
Say their name when addressing them.
Be honest with the person you are confronting, but remember to listen to their point of view as well.
2-2. Use words and phrases that are direct, but not judgmental.
Sounding condescending, accusing, or overly aggressive can make a situation escalate.
Words such as "always" or "never" tend to exaggerate statements and are good to avoid.
Bring the conversation back to yourself. Use "I" instead of "you" statements, such as "I feel..." or "I don't like it when...". Follow these with facts.
2-3. Adjust the tone of your voice so it is even but firm.
Shouting, whispering, or speaking with a shaky force will undermine anything you say.
Speak at a level you would use for a normal conversation.
Pleading or whining will make you sound desperate or emotionally dishonest.
Speak in a clear, steady voice and do not hesitate.
If you are preparing to confront someone, practice what you want to say in advance in front of a mirror.
2-4. Refuse someone.
If you feel like someone is trying to take advantage of you or asking you to do something you feel is unreasonable (e.g. borrow money), do not feel guilty telling them "No".
Follow these basic principles of saying "No": be brief, clear, firm, and honest.
You can justify your response, but be brief and avoid excessive excuses.
Do not start every sentence with "I'm sorry". Being overly apologetic will make you look immature or insincere.
Reinforce your refusal with assertive body language. Maintain direct eye contact, hold your head up, keep your back straight, and relax your face and shoulders.
3. Channeling Your Aggression
3-1. Listen to music.
Music can have the effect of stimulating emotional or physical arousal.Select a genre of music or songs that have a tempo of 80 to 130 beats per minute.
Increase your heart rate by creating a playlist that organizes songs based on tempo, from slow (70-80 beats per minute) to fast (120-130 beats per minute).
You can also alternate between fast and slow, loud or soft songs.
Avoid music that triggers emotions such as anger or hostility.
3-2. Participate in sports.
Physical exercise can help you develop discipline and self-control. Examples of sports that help reduce tension and positively channel aggression include:
Martial arts, especially Tae Kwon Do and Kung Fu.
Running or aerobics.
Weight-lifting or boxing.
3-3. Meditate or relax.
You can use relaxation techniques to prevent your aggression from developing into anger. Examples include:
Take slow, deep breathes that come from your gut and not your chest.
Repeat a word or phrase in your head such as "Relax" or "Calm down" while breathing deeply.
Employ any of these techniques if you feel yourself getting tense or angry.
3-4. Confront overly aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior in others.
If the source of your aggression or frustration is another person, you have a right to stand-up for yourself and be treated with respect.
Use humor to counter hostile behavior or unfair treatment.
Do not overreact. This will only lead to more drama and unnecessary aggression.
Deal with controlling or manipulating personalities by following a negative statement with a question or asking them to clarify their position. This will keep you in charge of the conversation.
Choose your battles. Ask yourself if the other person's behavior is hurting you or just annoying. Sometimes keeping your distance is the best option.
Tips
Avoid slouching, standing off balance, tilting your head to one side, constantly pushing your hair away from your face, or covering your mouth with your hand.[35]
X
Research source
[36]
X
Research source
When trying to compromise or negotiate with a hostile or passive-aggressive person, set boundaries or consequences, such as reporting them to a superior (e.g. boss or teacher) if they refuse to cooperate or alter their behavior.[37]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source
When confronting someone, always bring a friend, family member, or colleague for back-up.[38]
X
Research source
Warnings
All types of physical and verbal aggression directed towards a human or animal are unacceptable and inevitably causes more harm.
Becoming overly aggressive or assertive may lead others to perceive you as selfish or narcissistic, and can negatively affect your reputation.
Do not direct anger or tension inwards or "bottle-up" your aggression. This can lead to increased anxiety.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:18",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Assertive Through Body Language and Behavior\\n1-1. Be assertive in your posture.\\nYou want to appear in control, poised, and confident without looking awkward or uncomfortable.\\nApproach someone directly, rather than from the side of behind.\\nMaintain enough distance so you can hear the person but are not in their face.\\nRelax (do not slouch or hunch) your shoulders and spread your feet shoulder-width apart so your body weight is balanced evenly on both legs.\\nFold or clasp your hands and hold them in front of your stomach, no higher than your diaphragm.\\n1-2. Maintain an assertive posture when sitting.\\nIf you are addressing someone who is taller than you, suggest sitting down so you are at the same height. Find a table where you can sit and talk across from one another.\\nSit with your back straight. Your head should be upright and evenly balanced on your shoulders. Avoid tilting your head to one side or hunching your shoulders.\\nDo not cross your legs. This can communicate that you are distracted or bored. Regularly crossing your legs when sitting may contribute to back pain or formation of spider veins.\\nClasp or fold your hands on the table. Having your hands in a location where the other person can see them to establish trust and demonstrate your sincerity.\\n1-3. Be aware how you use your hands and fingers.\\nHow you use your hands to communicate can set the tone for the rest of the conversation or interaction.\\nWhen gesturing to make a point, keep your fingers together and point with an open palm.\\nAvoid pointing or jabbing your finger at someone.\\n1-4. Be aware of your facial expressions.\\nLook the other person in the eye and relax your face.\\nDo not stare at the floor or look off to the side when speaking or listening. These will make you look nervous.\\nDo not clench your jaw or tense the muscles in your face.\\nMaintain direct eye contact, but avoid 'eye-balling' the other person.\\n2. Becoming a More Aggressive Communicator\\n2-1. Stand up for yourself and push back.\\nExpress your point of view or needs in a way that is clear and direct. You want to come off as aggressive, not disrespectful.\\nMake sure you have someone's full attention before talking. Talk face-to-face, not to their back.\\nSay their name when addressing them.\\nBe honest with the person you are confronting, but remember to listen to their point of view as well.\\n2-2. Use words and phrases that are direct, but not judgmental.\\nSounding condescending, accusing, or overly aggressive can make a situation escalate.\\nWords such as \\\"always\\\" or \\\"never\\\" tend to exaggerate statements and are good to avoid.\\nBring the conversation back to yourself. Use \\\"I\\\" instead of \\\"you\\\" statements, such as \\\"I feel...\\\" or \\\"I don't like it when...\\\". Follow these with facts.\\n2-3. Adjust the tone of your voice so it is even but firm.\\nShouting, whispering, or speaking with a shaky force will undermine anything you say.\\nSpeak at a level you would use for a normal conversation.\\nPleading or whining will make you sound desperate or emotionally dishonest.\\nSpeak in a clear, steady voice and do not hesitate.\\nIf you are preparing to confront someone, practice what you want to say in advance in front of a mirror.\\n2-4. Refuse someone.\\nIf you feel like someone is trying to take advantage of you or asking you to do something you feel is unreasonable (e.g. borrow money), do not feel guilty telling them \\\"No\\\".\\nFollow these basic principles of saying \\\"No\\\": be brief, clear, firm, and honest.\\nYou can justify your response, but be brief and avoid excessive excuses.\\nDo not start every sentence with \\\"I'm sorry\\\". Being overly apologetic will make you look immature or insincere.\\nReinforce your refusal with assertive body language. Maintain direct eye contact, hold your head up, keep your back straight, and relax your face and shoulders.\\n3. Channeling Your Aggression\\n3-1. Listen to music.\\nMusic can have the effect of stimulating emotional or physical arousal.Select a genre of music or songs that have a tempo of 80 to 130 beats per minute.\\nIncrease your heart rate by creating a playlist that organizes songs based on tempo, from slow (70-80 beats per minute) to fast (120-130 beats per minute).\\nYou can also alternate between fast and slow, loud or soft songs.\\nAvoid music that triggers emotions such as anger or hostility.\\n3-2. Participate in sports.\\nPhysical exercise can help you develop discipline and self-control. Examples of sports that help reduce tension and positively channel aggression include:\\nMartial arts, especially Tae Kwon Do and Kung Fu.\\nRunning or aerobics.\\nWeight-lifting or boxing.\\n3-3. Meditate or relax.\\nYou can use relaxation techniques to prevent your aggression from developing into anger. Examples include:\\nTake slow, deep breathes that come from your gut and not your chest.\\nRepeat a word or phrase in your head such as \\\"Relax\\\" or \\\"Calm down\\\" while breathing deeply.\\nEmploy any of these techniques if you feel yourself getting tense or angry.\\n3-4. Confront overly aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior in others.\\nIf the source of your aggression or frustration is another person, you have a right to stand-up for yourself and be treated with respect.\\nUse humor to counter hostile behavior or unfair treatment.\\nDo not overreact. This will only lead to more drama and unnecessary aggression.\\nDeal with controlling or manipulating personalities by following a negative statement with a question or asking them to clarify their position. This will keep you in charge of the conversation.\\nChoose your battles. Ask yourself if the other person's behavior is hurting you or just annoying. Sometimes keeping your distance is the best option.\\nTips\\nAvoid slouching, standing off balance, tilting your head to one side, constantly pushing your hair away from your face, or covering your mouth with your hand.[35]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n[36]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWhen trying to compromise or negotiate with a hostile or passive-aggressive person, set boundaries or consequences, such as reporting them to a superior (e.g. boss or teacher) if they refuse to cooperate or alter their behavior.[37]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nAmerican Psychological Association\\nLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists\\nGo to source\\nWhen confronting someone, always bring a friend, family member, or colleague for back-up.[38]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nAll types of physical and verbal aggression directed towards a human or animal are unacceptable and inevitably causes more harm.\\nBecoming overly aggressive or assertive may lead others to perceive you as selfish or narcissistic, and can negatively affect your reputation.\\nDo not direct anger or tension inwards or \\\"bottle-up\\\" your aggression. This can lead to increased anxiety.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Learning to be aggressive in a way that is assertive without being hostile can help you become a more confident and effective leader, and improve self-esteem. While being assertive is associated with effective leadership and interpersonal skills, being overly aggressive can negatively affect how you are perceived at school, work, home, and in romantic relationships. By incorporating aspects of body language, behavior, speech, and appearance into your interpersonal interactions, you can increase self-confidence, gain self-respect, and improve your relationships with others.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Assertive Through Body Language and Behavior\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be assertive in your posture.\", \"描述\": \"You want to appear in control, poised, and confident without looking awkward or uncomfortable.\\nApproach someone directly, rather than from the side of behind.\\nMaintain enough distance so you can hear the person but are not in their face.\\nRelax (do not slouch or hunch) your shoulders and spread your feet shoulder-width apart so your body weight is balanced evenly on both legs.\\nFold or clasp your hands and hold them in front of your stomach, no higher than your diaphragm.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain an assertive posture when sitting.\", \"描述\": \"If you are addressing someone who is taller than you, suggest sitting down so you are at the same height. Find a table where you can sit and talk across from one another.\\nSit with your back straight. Your head should be upright and evenly balanced on your shoulders. Avoid tilting your head to one side or hunching your shoulders.\\nDo not cross your legs. This can communicate that you are distracted or bored. Regularly crossing your legs when sitting may contribute to back pain or formation of spider veins.\\nClasp or fold your hands on the table. Having your hands in a location where the other person can see them to establish trust and demonstrate your sincerity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware how you use your hands and fingers.\", \"描述\": \"How you use your hands to communicate can set the tone for the rest of the conversation or interaction.\\nWhen gesturing to make a point, keep your fingers together and point with an open palm.\\nAvoid pointing or jabbing your finger at someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be aware of your facial expressions.\", \"描述\": \"Look the other person in the eye and relax your face.\\nDo not stare at the floor or look off to the side when speaking or listening. These will make you look nervous.\\nDo not clench your jaw or tense the muscles in your face.\\nMaintain direct eye contact, but avoid 'eye-balling' the other person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming a More Aggressive Communicator\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stand up for yourself and push back.\", \"描述\": \"Express your point of view or needs in a way that is clear and direct. You want to come off as aggressive, not disrespectful.\\nMake sure you have someone's full attention before talking. Talk face-to-face, not to their back.\\nSay their name when addressing them.\\nBe honest with the person you are confronting, but remember to listen to their point of view as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use words and phrases that are direct, but not judgmental.\", \"描述\": \"Sounding condescending, accusing, or overly aggressive can make a situation escalate.\\nWords such as \\\"always\\\" or \\\"never\\\" tend to exaggerate statements and are good to avoid.\\nBring the conversation back to yourself. Use \\\"I\\\" instead of \\\"you\\\" statements, such as \\\"I feel...\\\" or \\\"I don't like it when...\\\". Follow these with facts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adjust the tone of your voice so it is even but firm.\", \"描述\": \"Shouting, whispering, or speaking with a shaky force will undermine anything you say.\\nSpeak at a level you would use for a normal conversation.\\nPleading or whining will make you sound desperate or emotionally dishonest.\\nSpeak in a clear, steady voice and do not hesitate.\\nIf you are preparing to confront someone, practice what you want to say in advance in front of a mirror.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Refuse someone.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like someone is trying to take advantage of you or asking you to do something you feel is unreasonable (e.g. borrow money), do not feel guilty telling them \\\"No\\\".\\nFollow these basic principles of saying \\\"No\\\": be brief, clear, firm, and honest.\\nYou can justify your response, but be brief and avoid excessive excuses.\\nDo not start every sentence with \\\"I'm sorry\\\". Being overly apologetic will make you look immature or insincere.\\nReinforce your refusal with assertive body language. Maintain direct eye contact, hold your head up, keep your back straight, and relax your face and shoulders.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Channeling Your Aggression\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to music.\", \"描述\": \"Music can have the effect of stimulating emotional or physical arousal.Select a genre of music or songs that have a tempo of 80 to 130 beats per minute.\\nIncrease your heart rate by creating a playlist that organizes songs based on tempo, from slow (70-80 beats per minute) to fast (120-130 beats per minute).\\nYou can also alternate between fast and slow, loud or soft songs.\\nAvoid music that triggers emotions such as anger or hostility.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Participate in sports.\", \"描述\": \"Physical exercise can help you develop discipline and self-control. Examples of sports that help reduce tension and positively channel aggression include:\\nMartial arts, especially Tae Kwon Do and Kung Fu.\\nRunning or aerobics.\\nWeight-lifting or boxing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meditate or relax.\", \"描述\": \"You can use relaxation techniques to prevent your aggression from developing into anger. Examples include:\\nTake slow, deep breathes that come from your gut and not your chest.\\nRepeat a word or phrase in your head such as \\\"Relax\\\" or \\\"Calm down\\\" while breathing deeply.\\nEmploy any of these techniques if you feel yourself getting tense or angry.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Confront overly aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior in others.\", \"描述\": \"If the source of your aggression or frustration is another person, you have a right to stand-up for yourself and be treated with respect.\\nUse humor to counter hostile behavior or unfair treatment.\\nDo not overreact. This will only lead to more drama and unnecessary aggression.\\nDeal with controlling or manipulating personalities by following a negative statement with a question or asking them to clarify their position. This will keep you in charge of the conversation.\\nChoose your battles. Ask yourself if the other person's behavior is hurting you or just annoying. Sometimes keeping your distance is the best option.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid slouching, standing off balance, tilting your head to one side, constantly pushing your hair away from your face, or covering your mouth with your hand.[35]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n[36]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"When trying to compromise or negotiate with a hostile or passive-aggressive person, set boundaries or consequences, such as reporting them to a superior (e.g. boss or teacher) if they refuse to cooperate or alter their behavior.[37]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nAmerican Psychological Association\\nLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists\\nGo to source\\n\", \"When confronting someone, always bring a friend, family member, or colleague for back-up.[38]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"All types of physical and verbal aggression directed towards a human or animal are unacceptable and inevitably causes more harm.\\n\", \"Becoming overly aggressive or assertive may lead others to perceive you as selfish or narcissistic, and can negatively affect your reputation.\\n\", \"Do not direct anger or tension inwards or \\\"bottle-up\\\" your aggression. This can lead to increased anxiety.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,931 | How to Be More Alert | 1. Increasing Your Alertness Quickly
1-1. Grab a cup of coffee, but not too much coffee.
It’s no surprise that coffee contains caffeine that will help you feel more alert, but overindulging in caffeine can make you feel sluggish and drowsy. To feel more alert without being too jittery or suffering from sleeplessness, restrict your intake to 2 to 3 cups per day.
People react differently to caffeine, so cut back if you start feeling nervous, experience stomach upset, or think the coffee might be disturbing your sleep.
Research indicates that up to 400 milligrams of coffee per day, which is equivalent to about 4 cups of coffee, is safe for healthy adults.
When you drink coffee, stay away from sugary options that will leave you feeling sluggish and out of it when the sugar high is over.
1-2. Drink plenty of water.
Dehydration can cause you to feel draggy and less alert, so drink water throughout the day to remain hydrated and more aware of your surroundings.
If you feel less alert, try to drink one to two glasses of water right away.
Pass up sugary drinks such as sodas, energy beverages, and sweet juices that will cause an energy crash soon after consuming.
1-3. Take deep breaths.
When you take deep breaths, you lower your heart rate and blood pressure and improve your circulation. This will increase your energy level and mental focus so you can be more alert. Try this basic exercise you can perform anywhere:
Sit up straight. Place one hand on your stomach, just beneath your ribs. Place your other hand on your chest. Try to inhale through your nose. You should feel your stomach pushing your hand outward. Try to keep your chest from moving. Now, pretend you are whistling and breathe out while pursing your lips. Perform 10 repetitions as needed.
1-4. Maintain good posture.
Your ballet instructor was right when he or she emphasized the importance of excellent posture. Slouching and adopting poor posture can cause fatigue and make you less alert.
If you are seated, make sure your shoulders are back, your eyes are facing straight ahead, and your butt is touching the back of the chair. Try not to hunch over your desk or computer.
1-5. Try a power nap.
If you are feeling groggy and less than alert, try taking a quick 10 to 20 minute power nap.
A short nap won’t negatively impact your sleep schedule that night, and you should wake up feeling more alert.
If you have trouble napping, just rest with your eyes closed for 10 minutes. You can still enjoy the benefits of a power nap.
1-6. Chew a piece of gum.
If you are having a hard time being alert, try chewing a piece of gum. Some research indicates that this can help you feel more awake and energized.
1-7. Listen to music and sing along.
If you are at home or driving and need to feel more alert, turn on your music and sing along.
Singing forces you to manage your breathing, while providing a boost of energy.
This exercise might not be appropriate for a workplace environment, so wait till you are in a place where people won’t file a noise complaint.
1-8. Enjoy comedy relief.
You probably already know that laughter can relieve stress, but it can also increase your alertness.
When you want to feel more alert, watch a funny video or spend some time with a friend who makes you giggle.
1-9. Opt for a cold shower.
While warm showers or baths are relaxing, they can make you feel sleepy and snuggly rather than alert. To combat this, opt for a bracing 3-minute cold shower instead.
You will immediately feel more alert and aware.
2. Exercising to Improve Alertness
2-1. Complete an aerobic workout.
When you exercise, you increase blood flow, oxygen levels, and energy to all parts of your body—including the brain—which means you will be more alert. Researchers have also found that regular aerobic exercise such as walking, running, jogging, and riding a bike can reverse cognitive decline.
2-2. Participate in team sports.
If you watch college or professional athletes play sports, you can observe their laser focus and intense concentration. Although you are probably not at that skill level, you can still benefit from the improved reflexes and better concentration that result from participating in team sports.
Team sports such as baseball, basketball, tennis, soccer, and football are an excellent way to be more alert because you have to pay attention to where your teammates and opposing team members are, where the ball is currently located, and where the ball is headed.
If you are looking for a less serious game, consider trying kickball or dodgeball.
2-3. Try a new type of exercise.
Try a type of exercise that is new to you and involves more complex movements such as rock climbing, gymnastics, martial arts, pilates, skating, or fencing. The act of having to learn how to do something different and perform the new maneuvers will help strengthen your brain and boost your memory power, which should make you more alert.
2-4. Spend 20 minutes per day outside.
Spending 20 minutes a day outside will help you feel more energized and alert.
Go for a walk or jog in the park.
Conduct your workout routine outside in your backyard or neighborhood.
Head to the woods or hiking trails on the weekend.
2-5. Perform yoga.
Yoga can help tone your body and relieve your anxiety, but it also improves your focus and concentration. Try a yoga routine when you want to feel more alert.
2-6. Schedule your workout for the middle of the day.
Research suggests that a mid-afternoon workout can help you feel more alert and energetic than taking a nap.
3. Eating Foods that Will Help You Concentrate
3-1. Make sure you eat regularly.
If you are not eating regularly, you will have a hard time feeling alert and your mood will also deteriorate. Eat healthy meals during the day, and pack snacks you can munch on when you start to feel less alert.
Eating small meals or snacks every few hours will help you keep your energy levels high and elevate your mood.
Yogurt, nuts, fresh fruit, baby carrots, and peanut butter on a whole wheat cracker make excellent high-energy snacks.
3-2. Choose foods that contain complex carbs.
Foods with complex carbohydrates and whole grains help fuel your brain and will leave you feeling more alert.
When you’re feeling out of it, opt for oatmeal, whole-grain breads and pasta, beans, lentils, and green vegetables.
Pass on cookies, cakes, and foods with lots of sugar because these will not provide lasting energy.
Try to stay away from processed and fast foods.
3-3. Fill up on antioxidant-rich foods.Try these foods that are full of antioxidants:
Raspberries.
Strawberries.
Blueberries.
Apples.
Bananas.
Leafy green vegetables such as spinach and kale.
Beans.
Carrots.
Tea, especially green tea.
3-4. Consume foods containing Omega-3 fatty acids.
Omega-3 fatty acids help keep the brain working properly, so eat foods such as fish and nuts to improve brain power and be more alert.
3-5. Eat a piece of chocolate.
In addition to caffeine, chocolate contains flavonoids that can improve your cognitive skills and make you feel more alert.
Dark chocolate or bittersweet chocolate have more flavonoids than milk chocolate. You don’t have to eat a king size candy bar to benefit from the chocolate, so don’t overdo it.
4. Making Other Lifestyle Changes to Be More Alert
4-1. Get the right amount of sleep.
Not getting enough sleep and oversleeping can leave you feeling groggy and less alert. Medical experts recommend 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night.
To feel more alert, establishing a routine is also important. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
4-2. Adjust the temperature in your room.
If it’s too cold in your room or too warm, you can start to feel sleepy and foggy. To be more alert, try increasing or lowering the temperature in your room.
Researchers have concluded that the optimal room temperature for sleep is about 65 degrees Fahrenheit, so adjusting the temperature a few degrees in either direction can help you wake up and feel more focused.
If you are in a work environment or place where you do not have control over the thermostat, bring a sweater or jacket with you so you can easily warm up or cool off to feel more alert.
4-3. Keep a plant in your home or office.
Plants enhance your mood and make you less stressed. Try bringing a plant to keep in your workspace or at home to feel more awake.
4-4. Let the sun shine in.
Sitting in a darkened room can make you feel less alert because it interferes with the body’s circadian rhythms. Open the curtains or blinds and let the sun shine in.
If you live in a place where it is seldom sunny or it’s currently dark outside, research indicates that turning on lights can also help you feel more alert.
If you are in a meeting and need to feel more alert, select a seat by a sunny window.
4-5. Consider herbal supplements and vitamins.
Although it’s best to talk with your doctor before introducing any herbal supplements or vitamins to your daily routine, you may want to consider trying some of the options below that have been shown to make people more alert:
A vitamin B-12 deficiency can cause memory problems and low energy. The recommended dosage for people age 14 and older is 2.4 micrograms per day. Many multivitamins already contain B-12, so unless you have been diagnosed with a vitamin B-12 deficiency, you may already be getting sufficient levels.
Ginseng, according to some research, may elevate your mood and energy levels, which will make you more alert. There are no standard dosages, so talk with your doctor or a pharmacist about how much to take. Make sure you purchase ginseng from a reputable health food store or online retailer because it is expensive and many retailers add filler ingredients to their supplements.
Guarana is an herb high in caffeine that some people believe can help improve mental focus. Check with your doctor about the right dosage for you, but many people trying to be more alert take 200 to 800 milligrams of guarana per day. If you already consume a lot of caffeine, you should use this cautiously because it may disrupt your sleep.
Many pharmacies and health food stores also sell specific energy or alertness vitamins and supplements.
4-6. Avoid substances that make you less alert.
Drugs and alcohol slow your reaction time, dull your responses, and make you less alert. Avoid these substances if you want to focus, concentrate, and be on your game.
4-7. Seek medical advice.
If you are having a hard time staying alert, it’s a good idea to talk with a medical professional as soon as possible. There may be an underlying condition causing your symptoms that is best diagnosed and treated by a doctor.
5. Training Yourself to Be More Alert
5-1. Read regularly.
Although you might have to read emails and reports for your job, not many people read regularly for fun. Reading requires you to be active and alert, so pick up a good book and get started.
If you are trying to get in the habit of reading more often, start with a goal of reading one new book each month or every few weeks. Then, you can gradually increase your goal.
Joining or starting a book club is a great way to get in the habit of reading more often. You will also boost your brain power and alertness by discussing the books with your book group.
5-2. Play games.
To train yourself to be more alert while having a good time, try playing games. Word searches, chess, crossword puzzles, and sudoku can help help you retain information and concentrate.
5-3. Create challenges that force you to focus.
Try setting up challenges that force your brain to be alert and on point. Here are a few simple ideas:
Count items in your environment such as stop signs, coffee shops, or a type of tree. You can do this on your way to work or school, and while you are walking, driving, or riding a bike.
Watch a digital clock that displays the seconds. Occasionally, the clock will skip a second. It’s your job to identify when that happens. To increase the level of difficulty, add distractions to the mix by turning on a radio or television in the background.
5-4. Try to think quickly.
When you find yourself feeling foggy and less alert, try to force yourself out of your slump by thinking quickly. Here are a few easy ideas to start with:
Increase your reading pace to feel more alert.
Start a conversation about a stimulating topic such as politics.
Work with classmates or colleagues to plan and brainstorm about a specific topic, and enjoy the surge of adrenaline.
Learn about something new and interesting to increase your level of alertness.
5-5. Try mindfulness meditation.
Practicing mindful meditation can help you improve your concentration and focus so you can become more alert.While there are many mindfulness meditation exercises you can do, here is a quick example that will help you feel more focused and aware:
Find a quiet location free from as many distractions as possible. Then, pick a position where you are comfortable, but alert.
Slowly take a deep breath in, paying attention to how your breath feels when it enters your body. Next, exhale slowly while concentrating on what it feels like when your breath leaves your body.
It’s normal to feel distracted, but try to focus only on your breathing. Noticing when your mind drifts and you become distracted is an important step in training yourself to be more alert. When this happens, don’t feel bad. Instead, just calmly refocus on your breath.
Tips
Train yourself to be more alert by completing fun crossword puzzles, word searches, or sudoku.
Go for a run, walk, jog, or ride a bike since aerobic exercise has been shown to increase your cognitive abilities and make you more alert.
Although you might be tempted to guzzle caffeine to feel more alert, the crash that follows from too much caffeine can leave you feeling less coherent and aware. Although people respond to caffeine differently, experts recommend 2 to 3 cups of coffee per day to feel more alert without experiencing the negative side effects.
Warnings
If you continue to feel foggy and out of it, it’s a good idea to seek medical advice to make sure there isn’t an underlying condition that might be causing your symptoms.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:18",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Increasing Your Alertness Quickly\\n1-1. Grab a cup of coffee, but not too much coffee.\\nIt’s no surprise that coffee contains caffeine that will help you feel more alert, but overindulging in caffeine can make you feel sluggish and drowsy. To feel more alert without being too jittery or suffering from sleeplessness, restrict your intake to 2 to 3 cups per day.\\nPeople react differently to caffeine, so cut back if you start feeling nervous, experience stomach upset, or think the coffee might be disturbing your sleep.\\nResearch indicates that up to 400 milligrams of coffee per day, which is equivalent to about 4 cups of coffee, is safe for healthy adults.\\nWhen you drink coffee, stay away from sugary options that will leave you feeling sluggish and out of it when the sugar high is over.\\n1-2. Drink plenty of water.\\nDehydration can cause you to feel draggy and less alert, so drink water throughout the day to remain hydrated and more aware of your surroundings.\\nIf you feel less alert, try to drink one to two glasses of water right away.\\nPass up sugary drinks such as sodas, energy beverages, and sweet juices that will cause an energy crash soon after consuming.\\n1-3. Take deep breaths.\\nWhen you take deep breaths, you lower your heart rate and blood pressure and improve your circulation. This will increase your energy level and mental focus so you can be more alert. Try this basic exercise you can perform anywhere:\\nSit up straight. Place one hand on your stomach, just beneath your ribs. Place your other hand on your chest. Try to inhale through your nose. You should feel your stomach pushing your hand outward. Try to keep your chest from moving. Now, pretend you are whistling and breathe out while pursing your lips. Perform 10 repetitions as needed.\\n1-4. Maintain good posture.\\nYour ballet instructor was right when he or she emphasized the importance of excellent posture. Slouching and adopting poor posture can cause fatigue and make you less alert.\\nIf you are seated, make sure your shoulders are back, your eyes are facing straight ahead, and your butt is touching the back of the chair. Try not to hunch over your desk or computer.\\n1-5. Try a power nap.\\nIf you are feeling groggy and less than alert, try taking a quick 10 to 20 minute power nap.\\nA short nap won’t negatively impact your sleep schedule that night, and you should wake up feeling more alert.\\nIf you have trouble napping, just rest with your eyes closed for 10 minutes. You can still enjoy the benefits of a power nap.\\n1-6. Chew a piece of gum.\\nIf you are having a hard time being alert, try chewing a piece of gum. Some research indicates that this can help you feel more awake and energized.\\n1-7. Listen to music and sing along.\\nIf you are at home or driving and need to feel more alert, turn on your music and sing along.\\nSinging forces you to manage your breathing, while providing a boost of energy.\\nThis exercise might not be appropriate for a workplace environment, so wait till you are in a place where people won’t file a noise complaint.\\n1-8. Enjoy comedy relief.\\nYou probably already know that laughter can relieve stress, but it can also increase your alertness.\\nWhen you want to feel more alert, watch a funny video or spend some time with a friend who makes you giggle.\\n1-9. Opt for a cold shower.\\nWhile warm showers or baths are relaxing, they can make you feel sleepy and snuggly rather than alert. To combat this, opt for a bracing 3-minute cold shower instead.\\nYou will immediately feel more alert and aware.\\n2. Exercising to Improve Alertness\\n2-1. Complete an aerobic workout.\\nWhen you exercise, you increase blood flow, oxygen levels, and energy to all parts of your body—including the brain—which means you will be more alert. Researchers have also found that regular aerobic exercise such as walking, running, jogging, and riding a bike can reverse cognitive decline.\\n2-2. Participate in team sports.\\nIf you watch college or professional athletes play sports, you can observe their laser focus and intense concentration. Although you are probably not at that skill level, you can still benefit from the improved reflexes and better concentration that result from participating in team sports.\\nTeam sports such as baseball, basketball, tennis, soccer, and football are an excellent way to be more alert because you have to pay attention to where your teammates and opposing team members are, where the ball is currently located, and where the ball is headed.\\nIf you are looking for a less serious game, consider trying kickball or dodgeball.\\n2-3. Try a new type of exercise.\\nTry a type of exercise that is new to you and involves more complex movements such as rock climbing, gymnastics, martial arts, pilates, skating, or fencing. The act of having to learn how to do something different and perform the new maneuvers will help strengthen your brain and boost your memory power, which should make you more alert.\\n2-4. Spend 20 minutes per day outside.\\nSpending 20 minutes a day outside will help you feel more energized and alert.\\nGo for a walk or jog in the park.\\nConduct your workout routine outside in your backyard or neighborhood.\\nHead to the woods or hiking trails on the weekend.\\n2-5. Perform yoga.\\nYoga can help tone your body and relieve your anxiety, but it also improves your focus and concentration. Try a yoga routine when you want to feel more alert.\\n2-6. Schedule your workout for the middle of the day.\\nResearch suggests that a mid-afternoon workout can help you feel more alert and energetic than taking a nap.\\n3. Eating Foods that Will Help You Concentrate\\n3-1. Make sure you eat regularly.\\nIf you are not eating regularly, you will have a hard time feeling alert and your mood will also deteriorate. Eat healthy meals during the day, and pack snacks you can munch on when you start to feel less alert.\\nEating small meals or snacks every few hours will help you keep your energy levels high and elevate your mood.\\nYogurt, nuts, fresh fruit, baby carrots, and peanut butter on a whole wheat cracker make excellent high-energy snacks.\\n3-2. Choose foods that contain complex carbs.\\nFoods with complex carbohydrates and whole grains help fuel your brain and will leave you feeling more alert.\\nWhen you’re feeling out of it, opt for oatmeal, whole-grain breads and pasta, beans, lentils, and green vegetables.\\nPass on cookies, cakes, and foods with lots of sugar because these will not provide lasting energy.\\nTry to stay away from processed and fast foods.\\n3-3. Fill up on antioxidant-rich foods.Try these foods that are full of antioxidants:\\nRaspberries.\\nStrawberries.\\nBlueberries.\\nApples.\\nBananas.\\nLeafy green vegetables such as spinach and kale.\\nBeans.\\nCarrots.\\nTea, especially green tea.\\n3-4. Consume foods containing Omega-3 fatty acids.\\nOmega-3 fatty acids help keep the brain working properly, so eat foods such as fish and nuts to improve brain power and be more alert.\\n3-5. Eat a piece of chocolate.\\nIn addition to caffeine, chocolate contains flavonoids that can improve your cognitive skills and make you feel more alert.\\nDark chocolate or bittersweet chocolate have more flavonoids than milk chocolate. You don’t have to eat a king size candy bar to benefit from the chocolate, so don’t overdo it.\\n4. Making Other Lifestyle Changes to Be More Alert\\n4-1. Get the right amount of sleep.\\nNot getting enough sleep and oversleeping can leave you feeling groggy and less alert. Medical experts recommend 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night.\\nTo feel more alert, establishing a routine is also important. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.\\n4-2. Adjust the temperature in your room.\\nIf it’s too cold in your room or too warm, you can start to feel sleepy and foggy. To be more alert, try increasing or lowering the temperature in your room.\\nResearchers have concluded that the optimal room temperature for sleep is about 65 degrees Fahrenheit, so adjusting the temperature a few degrees in either direction can help you wake up and feel more focused.\\nIf you are in a work environment or place where you do not have control over the thermostat, bring a sweater or jacket with you so you can easily warm up or cool off to feel more alert.\\n4-3. Keep a plant in your home or office.\\nPlants enhance your mood and make you less stressed. Try bringing a plant to keep in your workspace or at home to feel more awake.\\n4-4. Let the sun shine in.\\nSitting in a darkened room can make you feel less alert because it interferes with the body’s circadian rhythms. Open the curtains or blinds and let the sun shine in.\\nIf you live in a place where it is seldom sunny or it’s currently dark outside, research indicates that turning on lights can also help you feel more alert.\\nIf you are in a meeting and need to feel more alert, select a seat by a sunny window.\\n4-5. Consider herbal supplements and vitamins.\\nAlthough it’s best to talk with your doctor before introducing any herbal supplements or vitamins to your daily routine, you may want to consider trying some of the options below that have been shown to make people more alert:\\nA vitamin B-12 deficiency can cause memory problems and low energy. The recommended dosage for people age 14 and older is 2.4 micrograms per day. Many multivitamins already contain B-12, so unless you have been diagnosed with a vitamin B-12 deficiency, you may already be getting sufficient levels.\\nGinseng, according to some research, may elevate your mood and energy levels, which will make you more alert. There are no standard dosages, so talk with your doctor or a pharmacist about how much to take. Make sure you purchase ginseng from a reputable health food store or online retailer because it is expensive and many retailers add filler ingredients to their supplements.\\nGuarana is an herb high in caffeine that some people believe can help improve mental focus. Check with your doctor about the right dosage for you, but many people trying to be more alert take 200 to 800 milligrams of guarana per day. If you already consume a lot of caffeine, you should use this cautiously because it may disrupt your sleep.\\nMany pharmacies and health food stores also sell specific energy or alertness vitamins and supplements.\\n4-6. Avoid substances that make you less alert.\\nDrugs and alcohol slow your reaction time, dull your responses, and make you less alert. Avoid these substances if you want to focus, concentrate, and be on your game.\\n4-7. Seek medical advice.\\nIf you are having a hard time staying alert, it’s a good idea to talk with a medical professional as soon as possible. There may be an underlying condition causing your symptoms that is best diagnosed and treated by a doctor.\\n5. Training Yourself to Be More Alert\\n5-1. Read regularly.\\nAlthough you might have to read emails and reports for your job, not many people read regularly for fun. Reading requires you to be active and alert, so pick up a good book and get started.\\nIf you are trying to get in the habit of reading more often, start with a goal of reading one new book each month or every few weeks. Then, you can gradually increase your goal.\\nJoining or starting a book club is a great way to get in the habit of reading more often. You will also boost your brain power and alertness by discussing the books with your book group.\\n5-2. Play games.\\nTo train yourself to be more alert while having a good time, try playing games. Word searches, chess, crossword puzzles, and sudoku can help help you retain information and concentrate.\\n5-3. Create challenges that force you to focus.\\nTry setting up challenges that force your brain to be alert and on point. Here are a few simple ideas:\\nCount items in your environment such as stop signs, coffee shops, or a type of tree. You can do this on your way to work or school, and while you are walking, driving, or riding a bike.\\nWatch a digital clock that displays the seconds. Occasionally, the clock will skip a second. It’s your job to identify when that happens. To increase the level of difficulty, add distractions to the mix by turning on a radio or television in the background.\\n5-4. Try to think quickly.\\nWhen you find yourself feeling foggy and less alert, try to force yourself out of your slump by thinking quickly. Here are a few easy ideas to start with:\\nIncrease your reading pace to feel more alert.\\nStart a conversation about a stimulating topic such as politics.\\nWork with classmates or colleagues to plan and brainstorm about a specific topic, and enjoy the surge of adrenaline.\\nLearn about something new and interesting to increase your level of alertness.\\n5-5. Try mindfulness meditation.\\nPracticing mindful meditation can help you improve your concentration and focus so you can become more alert.While there are many mindfulness meditation exercises you can do, here is a quick example that will help you feel more focused and aware:\\nFind a quiet location free from as many distractions as possible. Then, pick a position where you are comfortable, but alert.\\nSlowly take a deep breath in, paying attention to how your breath feels when it enters your body. Next, exhale slowly while concentrating on what it feels like when your breath leaves your body.\\nIt’s normal to feel distracted, but try to focus only on your breathing. Noticing when your mind drifts and you become distracted is an important step in training yourself to be more alert. When this happens, don’t feel bad. Instead, just calmly refocus on your breath.\\nTips\\nTrain yourself to be more alert by completing fun crossword puzzles, word searches, or sudoku.\\nGo for a run, walk, jog, or ride a bike since aerobic exercise has been shown to increase your cognitive abilities and make you more alert.\\nAlthough you might be tempted to guzzle caffeine to feel more alert, the crash that follows from too much caffeine can leave you feeling less coherent and aware. Although people respond to caffeine differently, experts recommend 2 to 3 cups of coffee per day to feel more alert without experiencing the negative side effects.\\nWarnings\\nIf you continue to feel foggy and out of it, it’s a good idea to seek medical advice to make sure there isn’t an underlying condition that might be causing your symptoms.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most of us experience times when we wish we felt more alert. You may be sitting in a meeting worrying how you will make it to the end. You might have to stay alert for a long drive. Perhaps you struggle with insomnia and find it difficult to function during the day. Regardless of the reason, you can take measures to increase your alertness immediately.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Increasing Your Alertness Quickly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Grab a cup of coffee, but not too much coffee.\", \"描述\": \"It’s no surprise that coffee contains caffeine that will help you feel more alert, but overindulging in caffeine can make you feel sluggish and drowsy. To feel more alert without being too jittery or suffering from sleeplessness, restrict your intake to 2 to 3 cups per day.\\nPeople react differently to caffeine, so cut back if you start feeling nervous, experience stomach upset, or think the coffee might be disturbing your sleep.\\nResearch indicates that up to 400 milligrams of coffee per day, which is equivalent to about 4 cups of coffee, is safe for healthy adults.\\nWhen you drink coffee, stay away from sugary options that will leave you feeling sluggish and out of it when the sugar high is over.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Drink plenty of water.\", \"描述\": \"Dehydration can cause you to feel draggy and less alert, so drink water throughout the day to remain hydrated and more aware of your surroundings.\\nIf you feel less alert, try to drink one to two glasses of water right away.\\nPass up sugary drinks such as sodas, energy beverages, and sweet juices that will cause an energy crash soon after consuming.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take deep breaths.\", \"描述\": \"When you take deep breaths, you lower your heart rate and blood pressure and improve your circulation. This will increase your energy level and mental focus so you can be more alert. Try this basic exercise you can perform anywhere:\\nSit up straight. Place one hand on your stomach, just beneath your ribs. Place your other hand on your chest. Try to inhale through your nose. You should feel your stomach pushing your hand outward. Try to keep your chest from moving. Now, pretend you are whistling and breathe out while pursing your lips. Perform 10 repetitions as needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Your ballet instructor was right when he or she emphasized the importance of excellent posture. Slouching and adopting poor posture can cause fatigue and make you less alert.\\nIf you are seated, make sure your shoulders are back, your eyes are facing straight ahead, and your butt is touching the back of the chair. Try not to hunch over your desk or computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try a power nap.\", \"描述\": \"If you are feeling groggy and less than alert, try taking a quick 10 to 20 minute power nap.\\nA short nap won’t negatively impact your sleep schedule that night, and you should wake up feeling more alert.\\nIf you have trouble napping, just rest with your eyes closed for 10 minutes. You can still enjoy the benefits of a power nap.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Chew a piece of gum.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having a hard time being alert, try chewing a piece of gum. Some research indicates that this can help you feel more awake and energized.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Listen to music and sing along.\", \"描述\": \"If you are at home or driving and need to feel more alert, turn on your music and sing along.\\nSinging forces you to manage your breathing, while providing a boost of energy.\\nThis exercise might not be appropriate for a workplace environment, so wait till you are in a place where people won’t file a noise complaint.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enjoy comedy relief.\", \"描述\": \"You probably already know that laughter can relieve stress, but it can also increase your alertness.\\nWhen you want to feel more alert, watch a funny video or spend some time with a friend who makes you giggle.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Opt for a cold shower.\", \"描述\": \"While warm showers or baths are relaxing, they can make you feel sleepy and snuggly rather than alert. To combat this, opt for a bracing 3-minute cold shower instead.\\nYou will immediately feel more alert and aware.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercising to Improve Alertness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Complete an aerobic workout.\", \"描述\": \"When you exercise, you increase blood flow, oxygen levels, and energy to all parts of your body—including the brain—which means you will be more alert. Researchers have also found that regular aerobic exercise such as walking, running, jogging, and riding a bike can reverse cognitive decline.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Participate in team sports.\", \"描述\": \"If you watch college or professional athletes play sports, you can observe their laser focus and intense concentration. Although you are probably not at that skill level, you can still benefit from the improved reflexes and better concentration that result from participating in team sports.\\nTeam sports such as baseball, basketball, tennis, soccer, and football are an excellent way to be more alert because you have to pay attention to where your teammates and opposing team members are, where the ball is currently located, and where the ball is headed.\\nIf you are looking for a less serious game, consider trying kickball or dodgeball.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try a new type of exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Try a type of exercise that is new to you and involves more complex movements such as rock climbing, gymnastics, martial arts, pilates, skating, or fencing. The act of having to learn how to do something different and perform the new maneuvers will help strengthen your brain and boost your memory power, which should make you more alert.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend 20 minutes per day outside.\", \"描述\": \"Spending 20 minutes a day outside will help you feel more energized and alert.\\nGo for a walk or jog in the park.\\nConduct your workout routine outside in your backyard or neighborhood.\\nHead to the woods or hiking trails on the weekend.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Perform yoga.\", \"描述\": \"Yoga can help tone your body and relieve your anxiety, but it also improves your focus and concentration. Try a yoga routine when you want to feel more alert.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Schedule your workout for the middle of the day.\", \"描述\": \"Research suggests that a mid-afternoon workout can help you feel more alert and energetic than taking a nap.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eating Foods that Will Help You Concentrate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you eat regularly.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not eating regularly, you will have a hard time feeling alert and your mood will also deteriorate. Eat healthy meals during the day, and pack snacks you can munch on when you start to feel less alert.\\nEating small meals or snacks every few hours will help you keep your energy levels high and elevate your mood.\\nYogurt, nuts, fresh fruit, baby carrots, and peanut butter on a whole wheat cracker make excellent high-energy snacks.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose foods that contain complex carbs.\", \"描述\": \"Foods with complex carbohydrates and whole grains help fuel your brain and will leave you feeling more alert.\\nWhen you’re feeling out of it, opt for oatmeal, whole-grain breads and pasta, beans, lentils, and green vegetables.\\nPass on cookies, cakes, and foods with lots of sugar because these will not provide lasting energy.\\nTry to stay away from processed and fast foods.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fill up on antioxidant-rich foods.Try these foods that are full of antioxidants:\", \"描述\": \"Raspberries.\\nStrawberries.\\nBlueberries.\\nApples.\\nBananas.\\nLeafy green vegetables such as spinach and kale.\\nBeans.\\nCarrots.\\nTea, especially green tea.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consume foods containing Omega-3 fatty acids.\", \"描述\": \"Omega-3 fatty acids help keep the brain working properly, so eat foods such as fish and nuts to improve brain power and be more alert.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eat a piece of chocolate.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to caffeine, chocolate contains flavonoids that can improve your cognitive skills and make you feel more alert.\\nDark chocolate or bittersweet chocolate have more flavonoids than milk chocolate. You don’t have to eat a king size candy bar to benefit from the chocolate, so don’t overdo it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Making Other Lifestyle Changes to Be More Alert\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get the right amount of sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Not getting enough sleep and oversleeping can leave you feeling groggy and less alert. Medical experts recommend 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night.\\nTo feel more alert, establishing a routine is also important. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adjust the temperature in your room.\", \"描述\": \"If it’s too cold in your room or too warm, you can start to feel sleepy and foggy. To be more alert, try increasing or lowering the temperature in your room.\\nResearchers have concluded that the optimal room temperature for sleep is about 65 degrees Fahrenheit, so adjusting the temperature a few degrees in either direction can help you wake up and feel more focused.\\nIf you are in a work environment or place where you do not have control over the thermostat, bring a sweater or jacket with you so you can easily warm up or cool off to feel more alert.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep a plant in your home or office.\", \"描述\": \"Plants enhance your mood and make you less stressed. Try bringing a plant to keep in your workspace or at home to feel more awake.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let the sun shine in.\", \"描述\": \"Sitting in a darkened room can make you feel less alert because it interferes with the body’s circadian rhythms. Open the curtains or blinds and let the sun shine in.\\nIf you live in a place where it is seldom sunny or it’s currently dark outside, research indicates that turning on lights can also help you feel more alert.\\nIf you are in a meeting and need to feel more alert, select a seat by a sunny window.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider herbal supplements and vitamins.\", \"描述\": \"Although it’s best to talk with your doctor before introducing any herbal supplements or vitamins to your daily routine, you may want to consider trying some of the options below that have been shown to make people more alert:\\nA vitamin B-12 deficiency can cause memory problems and low energy. The recommended dosage for people age 14 and older is 2.4 micrograms per day. Many multivitamins already contain B-12, so unless you have been diagnosed with a vitamin B-12 deficiency, you may already be getting sufficient levels.\\nGinseng, according to some research, may elevate your mood and energy levels, which will make you more alert. There are no standard dosages, so talk with your doctor or a pharmacist about how much to take. Make sure you purchase ginseng from a reputable health food store or online retailer because it is expensive and many retailers add filler ingredients to their supplements.\\nGuarana is an herb high in caffeine that some people believe can help improve mental focus. Check with your doctor about the right dosage for you, but many people trying to be more alert take 200 to 800 milligrams of guarana per day. If you already consume a lot of caffeine, you should use this cautiously because it may disrupt your sleep.\\nMany pharmacies and health food stores also sell specific energy or alertness vitamins and supplements.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid substances that make you less alert.\", \"描述\": \"Drugs and alcohol slow your reaction time, dull your responses, and make you less alert. Avoid these substances if you want to focus, concentrate, and be on your game.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Seek medical advice.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having a hard time staying alert, it’s a good idea to talk with a medical professional as soon as possible. There may be an underlying condition causing your symptoms that is best diagnosed and treated by a doctor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Training Yourself to Be More Alert\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Although you might have to read emails and reports for your job, not many people read regularly for fun. Reading requires you to be active and alert, so pick up a good book and get started.\\nIf you are trying to get in the habit of reading more often, start with a goal of reading one new book each month or every few weeks. Then, you can gradually increase your goal.\\nJoining or starting a book club is a great way to get in the habit of reading more often. You will also boost your brain power and alertness by discussing the books with your book group.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play games.\", \"描述\": \"To train yourself to be more alert while having a good time, try playing games. Word searches, chess, crossword puzzles, and sudoku can help help you retain information and concentrate.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create challenges that force you to focus.\", \"描述\": \"Try setting up challenges that force your brain to be alert and on point. Here are a few simple ideas:\\nCount items in your environment such as stop signs, coffee shops, or a type of tree. You can do this on your way to work or school, and while you are walking, driving, or riding a bike.\\nWatch a digital clock that displays the seconds. Occasionally, the clock will skip a second. It’s your job to identify when that happens. To increase the level of difficulty, add distractions to the mix by turning on a radio or television in the background.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try to think quickly.\", \"描述\": \"When you find yourself feeling foggy and less alert, try to force yourself out of your slump by thinking quickly. Here are a few easy ideas to start with:\\nIncrease your reading pace to feel more alert.\\nStart a conversation about a stimulating topic such as politics.\\nWork with classmates or colleagues to plan and brainstorm about a specific topic, and enjoy the surge of adrenaline.\\nLearn about something new and interesting to increase your level of alertness.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try mindfulness meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing mindful meditation can help you improve your concentration and focus so you can become more alert.While there are many mindfulness meditation exercises you can do, here is a quick example that will help you feel more focused and aware:\\nFind a quiet location free from as many distractions as possible. Then, pick a position where you are comfortable, but alert.\\nSlowly take a deep breath in, paying attention to how your breath feels when it enters your body. Next, exhale slowly while concentrating on what it feels like when your breath leaves your body.\\nIt’s normal to feel distracted, but try to focus only on your breathing. Noticing when your mind drifts and you become distracted is an important step in training yourself to be more alert. When this happens, don’t feel bad. Instead, just calmly refocus on your breath.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Train yourself to be more alert by completing fun crossword puzzles, word searches, or sudoku.\\n\", \"Go for a run, walk, jog, or ride a bike since aerobic exercise has been shown to increase your cognitive abilities and make you more alert.\\n\", \"Although you might be tempted to guzzle caffeine to feel more alert, the crash that follows from too much caffeine can leave you feeling less coherent and aware. Although people respond to caffeine differently, experts recommend 2 to 3 cups of coffee per day to feel more alert without experiencing the negative side effects.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you continue to feel foggy and out of it, it’s a good idea to seek medical advice to make sure there isn’t an underlying condition that might be causing your symptoms.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,932 | How to Be More Approachable | 1. Using Approachable Body Language
1-1. Adopt an open posture.
Keep your head up and your shoulders square rather than slumped forward. While sitting, lean back slightly and make yourself comfortable. This posture leaves your face confidently exposed to the world, rather than closed off and unwelcoming.
1-2. Keep your arms in a welcoming position.
Place your arms at your side or on your lap. If you are holding something or making gestures, keep your hands slightly to the side or near your lower torso. Avoid unwelcoming positions, such as crossed arms or hands raised in front of your chest. Enthusiastic postures with hands raised above your head may make you harder to approach, although psychology studies are divided on this point.
1-3. Smile
Simply smiling can make you seem much more approachable and inviting. A fake or forced smile isn't nearly as effective, though. Think of a happy memory, or a funny joke, to trigger a genuine smile.
Smiling can also make you feel more cheerful.
1-4. Make eye contact.
People are much more likely to approach someone who is looking directly at them, than someone who turns away or avoids their gaze. Prolonged eye contact and a smile can make all the difference. If you want to try something more flirtatious, here are a couple of alternatives geared towards women:
For a bold flirt, make eye contact for a few seconds, smile slightly, then slowly turn head away to look at something else.
To act cute and coy, briefly make eye contact with someone looking in your direction, then immediately look down or in another direction and smile.
2. Looking More Approachable through Other Methods
2-1. Avoid items that block your face.
Sunglasses, hats, and scarves can all make your face harder to see. Even if they are not directly obscuring you, the psychological effect may make you seem more isolated and difficult to approach.
2-2. Put down distracting items.
If you're checking your phone or reading a book, other people may not want to interrupt you. You could even be missing out on glances, smiles, and other cues that could otherwise lead to a conversation.
2-3. Cultivate your appearance.
It may seem shallow, but people who put effort into their appearance may end up looking more inviting. Consider ironing your clothes, dressing well, or even embarking on a makeover.
Try a technique called “peacocking.” Wear items that stand out, like unique rings or belts, so others will notice and make a comment about them. They work great as conversation starters.
2-4. Pay attention to personal hygiene
Wash your body and hair regularly, brush your teeth, and keep your nails trimmed. Wear clean clothing, and remove mold from your house that may contribute to a persistent, unpleasant smell in clothing or accessories.
3. Approaching Others and Building Relationships
3-1. Take an interest in others.
When talking to another person, ask the occasional question about his life, and try to spend more time listening than talking. If he wants to open up, he may start a more in-depth conversation, and feel thankful for your interest. Make a habit of this to earn a reputation as an empathetic, approachable person.
If you have trouble picking up on social cues, learn how to observe people. Improve your social skills to interact with people more effectively, and practice empathizing with their concerns and perspectives.
3-2. Practice "drive-by compliments".
These are pleasant, endearing surprises for other people in your life. Compliment someone's appearance, recent actions, or personality as you walk past. You can boost her mood, bolster your reputation as a pleasant person, and maybe even start a complimenting trend.
3-3. Come up with conversation topics.
If you are trying to meet new people, being approachable is only half the battle. You'll have to convince them to stick around as well. Before you go to an event, come up with conversation topics to talk about. Stick with subjects you're interested in, but try to include at least one that is more "popular," such as a recent movie or piece of sports news, since you'll be more likely to meet someone who shares that interest.
Use open-ended questions so people will give a more detailed response rather than just a “yes” or “no.”
Tailor your conversations to the type of event or location you're in. If most of the crowd is made up of students, you can talk about recent news on campus or an academic topic. At concerts and many other events, you can talk about the band, person, or art you've all gathered to watch.
3-4. Prepare answers to common questions.
Someone asks you, "How's it going?" You answer: "Fine." Well, that conversation didn't go anywhere. Be ready for common questions like this and tell the other person something interesting that's happened in your life. This can lead to an actual conversation, instead of an awkward silence.
3-5. Know how to respond to cultural biases.
Stereotypes, workplace politics, and even fashion opinions can make someone less likely to approach you. Make an effort to ask about the etiquette of a new town, workplace or other community. Many biases, such as those based on gender, age, and ethnicity, are impossible to avoid. However, recognize that many knee-jerk reactions are based on "implicit bias," meaning an unconscious and automatic response that may not reflect the other person's views. If you make the effort to start a conversation or build a friendship, you may notice a very different reaction.
3-6. Avoid rude comments and gossip.
Even if said as a joke, mean comments can upset others and make you seem rude and ungenerous. Try not to get involved in gossip, either, as it can earn you a reputation for spreading secrets or working behind people's backs.
Do your best to avoid topics like politics or religion.
3-7. Make an effort to include people in conversations.
Make room for a newcomer joining a conversation, introduce him, or ask his name. Let someone in on an inside joke if he looks confused. Don't assume that someone wants to be left alone because he doesn't join in conversations or get invited to social events, Make an effort to approach people, and you may earn more and deeper friendships.
3-8. When you learn a secret, treat it seriously.
Show other people that they can trust you. If you keep your promises and avoid betraying someone's trust, even someone you actively dislike, people around you may take note of your trustworthy behavior. Even if you find out the secret secondhand, don't help spread it around.
Tips
You’re more likely to start a conversation with someone if you’re in the same area as them. This is known as the proximity principle.[12]
X
Research source
Pay attention to how people react to others in their personal space. Some people find it extremely uncomfortable to be touched, even by friends, family, or people they have known for a long time.
In informal situations, or with people you know well, do not be afraid to slightly touch someone on his or her shoulder or arm. This creates a warm presence and adds a deeper connection.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:18",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Approachable Body Language\\n1-1. Adopt an open posture.\\nKeep your head up and your shoulders square rather than slumped forward. While sitting, lean back slightly and make yourself comfortable. This posture leaves your face confidently exposed to the world, rather than closed off and unwelcoming.\\n1-2. Keep your arms in a welcoming position.\\nPlace your arms at your side or on your lap. If you are holding something or making gestures, keep your hands slightly to the side or near your lower torso. Avoid unwelcoming positions, such as crossed arms or hands raised in front of your chest. Enthusiastic postures with hands raised above your head may make you harder to approach, although psychology studies are divided on this point.\\n1-3. Smile\\nSimply smiling can make you seem much more approachable and inviting. A fake or forced smile isn't nearly as effective, though. Think of a happy memory, or a funny joke, to trigger a genuine smile.\\nSmiling can also make you feel more cheerful.\\n1-4. Make eye contact.\\nPeople are much more likely to approach someone who is looking directly at them, than someone who turns away or avoids their gaze. Prolonged eye contact and a smile can make all the difference. If you want to try something more flirtatious, here are a couple of alternatives geared towards women:\\nFor a bold flirt, make eye contact for a few seconds, smile slightly, then slowly turn head away to look at something else.\\nTo act cute and coy, briefly make eye contact with someone looking in your direction, then immediately look down or in another direction and smile.\\n2. Looking More Approachable through Other Methods\\n2-1. Avoid items that block your face.\\nSunglasses, hats, and scarves can all make your face harder to see. Even if they are not directly obscuring you, the psychological effect may make you seem more isolated and difficult to approach.\\n2-2. Put down distracting items.\\nIf you're checking your phone or reading a book, other people may not want to interrupt you. You could even be missing out on glances, smiles, and other cues that could otherwise lead to a conversation.\\n2-3. Cultivate your appearance.\\nIt may seem shallow, but people who put effort into their appearance may end up looking more inviting. Consider ironing your clothes, dressing well, or even embarking on a makeover.\\nTry a technique called “peacocking.” Wear items that stand out, like unique rings or belts, so others will notice and make a comment about them. They work great as conversation starters.\\n2-4. Pay attention to personal hygiene\\nWash your body and hair regularly, brush your teeth, and keep your nails trimmed. Wear clean clothing, and remove mold from your house that may contribute to a persistent, unpleasant smell in clothing or accessories.\\n3. Approaching Others and Building Relationships\\n3-1. Take an interest in others.\\nWhen talking to another person, ask the occasional question about his life, and try to spend more time listening than talking. If he wants to open up, he may start a more in-depth conversation, and feel thankful for your interest. Make a habit of this to earn a reputation as an empathetic, approachable person.\\nIf you have trouble picking up on social cues, learn how to observe people. Improve your social skills to interact with people more effectively, and practice empathizing with their concerns and perspectives.\\n3-2. Practice \\\"drive-by compliments\\\".\\nThese are pleasant, endearing surprises for other people in your life. Compliment someone's appearance, recent actions, or personality as you walk past. You can boost her mood, bolster your reputation as a pleasant person, and maybe even start a complimenting trend.\\n3-3. Come up with conversation topics.\\nIf you are trying to meet new people, being approachable is only half the battle. You'll have to convince them to stick around as well. Before you go to an event, come up with conversation topics to talk about. Stick with subjects you're interested in, but try to include at least one that is more \\\"popular,\\\" such as a recent movie or piece of sports news, since you'll be more likely to meet someone who shares that interest.\\nUse open-ended questions so people will give a more detailed response rather than just a “yes” or “no.”\\nTailor your conversations to the type of event or location you're in. If most of the crowd is made up of students, you can talk about recent news on campus or an academic topic. At concerts and many other events, you can talk about the band, person, or art you've all gathered to watch.\\n3-4. Prepare answers to common questions.\\nSomeone asks you, \\\"How's it going?\\\" You answer: \\\"Fine.\\\" Well, that conversation didn't go anywhere. Be ready for common questions like this and tell the other person something interesting that's happened in your life. This can lead to an actual conversation, instead of an awkward silence.\\n3-5. Know how to respond to cultural biases.\\nStereotypes, workplace politics, and even fashion opinions can make someone less likely to approach you. Make an effort to ask about the etiquette of a new town, workplace or other community. Many biases, such as those based on gender, age, and ethnicity, are impossible to avoid. However, recognize that many knee-jerk reactions are based on \\\"implicit bias,\\\" meaning an unconscious and automatic response that may not reflect the other person's views. If you make the effort to start a conversation or build a friendship, you may notice a very different reaction.\\n3-6. Avoid rude comments and gossip.\\nEven if said as a joke, mean comments can upset others and make you seem rude and ungenerous. Try not to get involved in gossip, either, as it can earn you a reputation for spreading secrets or working behind people's backs.\\nDo your best to avoid topics like politics or religion.\\n3-7. Make an effort to include people in conversations.\\nMake room for a newcomer joining a conversation, introduce him, or ask his name. Let someone in on an inside joke if he looks confused. Don't assume that someone wants to be left alone because he doesn't join in conversations or get invited to social events, Make an effort to approach people, and you may earn more and deeper friendships.\\n3-8. When you learn a secret, treat it seriously.\\nShow other people that they can trust you. If you keep your promises and avoid betraying someone's trust, even someone you actively dislike, people around you may take note of your trustworthy behavior. Even if you find out the secret secondhand, don't help spread it around.\\nTips\\nYou’re more likely to start a conversation with someone if you’re in the same area as them. This is known as the proximity principle.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nPay attention to how people react to others in their personal space. Some people find it extremely uncomfortable to be touched, even by friends, family, or people they have known for a long time.\\nIn informal situations, or with people you know well, do not be afraid to slightly touch someone on his or her shoulder or arm. This creates a warm presence and adds a deeper connection.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Easy changes in body language can make you more approachable, especially when trying to attract the attention of strangers or acquaintances. People who already know you will want to approach you for more serious conversation if you demonstrate humility, trustworthiness, and confidence. It can take effort to change your behavior this way, but the effort is well worth the deeper, more fruitful relationships.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Approachable Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adopt an open posture.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your head up and your shoulders square rather than slumped forward. While sitting, lean back slightly and make yourself comfortable. This posture leaves your face confidently exposed to the world, rather than closed off and unwelcoming.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your arms in a welcoming position.\", \"描述\": \"Place your arms at your side or on your lap. If you are holding something or making gestures, keep your hands slightly to the side or near your lower torso. Avoid unwelcoming positions, such as crossed arms or hands raised in front of your chest. Enthusiastic postures with hands raised above your head may make you harder to approach, although psychology studies are divided on this point.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile\", \"描述\": \"Simply smiling can make you seem much more approachable and inviting. A fake or forced smile isn't nearly as effective, though. Think of a happy memory, or a funny joke, to trigger a genuine smile.\\nSmiling can also make you feel more cheerful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"People are much more likely to approach someone who is looking directly at them, than someone who turns away or avoids their gaze. Prolonged eye contact and a smile can make all the difference. If you want to try something more flirtatious, here are a couple of alternatives geared towards women:\\nFor a bold flirt, make eye contact for a few seconds, smile slightly, then slowly turn head away to look at something else.\\nTo act cute and coy, briefly make eye contact with someone looking in your direction, then immediately look down or in another direction and smile.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Looking More Approachable through Other Methods\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid items that block your face.\", \"描述\": \"Sunglasses, hats, and scarves can all make your face harder to see. Even if they are not directly obscuring you, the psychological effect may make you seem more isolated and difficult to approach.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put down distracting items.\", \"描述\": \"If you're checking your phone or reading a book, other people may not want to interrupt you. You could even be missing out on glances, smiles, and other cues that could otherwise lead to a conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cultivate your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"It may seem shallow, but people who put effort into their appearance may end up looking more inviting. Consider ironing your clothes, dressing well, or even embarking on a makeover.\\nTry a technique called “peacocking.” Wear items that stand out, like unique rings or belts, so others will notice and make a comment about them. They work great as conversation starters.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to personal hygiene\", \"描述\": \"Wash your body and hair regularly, brush your teeth, and keep your nails trimmed. Wear clean clothing, and remove mold from your house that may contribute to a persistent, unpleasant smell in clothing or accessories.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Approaching Others and Building Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take an interest in others.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to another person, ask the occasional question about his life, and try to spend more time listening than talking. If he wants to open up, he may start a more in-depth conversation, and feel thankful for your interest. Make a habit of this to earn a reputation as an empathetic, approachable person.\\nIf you have trouble picking up on social cues, learn how to observe people. Improve your social skills to interact with people more effectively, and practice empathizing with their concerns and perspectives.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice \\\"drive-by compliments\\\".\", \"描述\": \"These are pleasant, endearing surprises for other people in your life. Compliment someone's appearance, recent actions, or personality as you walk past. You can boost her mood, bolster your reputation as a pleasant person, and maybe even start a complimenting trend.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Come up with conversation topics.\", \"描述\": \"If you are trying to meet new people, being approachable is only half the battle. You'll have to convince them to stick around as well. Before you go to an event, come up with conversation topics to talk about. Stick with subjects you're interested in, but try to include at least one that is more \\\"popular,\\\" such as a recent movie or piece of sports news, since you'll be more likely to meet someone who shares that interest.\\nUse open-ended questions so people will give a more detailed response rather than just a “yes” or “no.”\\nTailor your conversations to the type of event or location you're in. If most of the crowd is made up of students, you can talk about recent news on campus or an academic topic. At concerts and many other events, you can talk about the band, person, or art you've all gathered to watch.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare answers to common questions.\", \"描述\": \"Someone asks you, \\\"How's it going?\\\" You answer: \\\"Fine.\\\" Well, that conversation didn't go anywhere. Be ready for common questions like this and tell the other person something interesting that's happened in your life. This can lead to an actual conversation, instead of an awkward silence.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know how to respond to cultural biases.\", \"描述\": \"Stereotypes, workplace politics, and even fashion opinions can make someone less likely to approach you. Make an effort to ask about the etiquette of a new town, workplace or other community. Many biases, such as those based on gender, age, and ethnicity, are impossible to avoid. However, recognize that many knee-jerk reactions are based on \\\"implicit bias,\\\" meaning an unconscious and automatic response that may not reflect the other person's views. If you make the effort to start a conversation or build a friendship, you may notice a very different reaction.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid rude comments and gossip.\", \"描述\": \"Even if said as a joke, mean comments can upset others and make you seem rude and ungenerous. Try not to get involved in gossip, either, as it can earn you a reputation for spreading secrets or working behind people's backs.\\nDo your best to avoid topics like politics or religion.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to include people in conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Make room for a newcomer joining a conversation, introduce him, or ask his name. Let someone in on an inside joke if he looks confused. Don't assume that someone wants to be left alone because he doesn't join in conversations or get invited to social events, Make an effort to approach people, and you may earn more and deeper friendships.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"When you learn a secret, treat it seriously.\", \"描述\": \"Show other people that they can trust you. If you keep your promises and avoid betraying someone's trust, even someone you actively dislike, people around you may take note of your trustworthy behavior. Even if you find out the secret secondhand, don't help spread it around.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You’re more likely to start a conversation with someone if you’re in the same area as them. This is known as the proximity principle.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Pay attention to how people react to others in their personal space. Some people find it extremely uncomfortable to be touched, even by friends, family, or people they have known for a long time.\\n\", \"In informal situations, or with people you know well, do not be afraid to slightly touch someone on his or her shoulder or arm. This creates a warm presence and adds a deeper connection.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,933 | How to Be More Assertive at Work | 1. Building Confidence
1-1. Start small.
If you don't feel confident speaking your mind at work, it might not be the best idea to dive right in by volunteering for a major presentation or asking the boss for a big raise. Instead, start with something smaller.
For example, if you were promised some new supplies, like a new monitor for your desk, but your supervisor has forgotten about it or hasn't gotten around to it, make a polite request for those items you've already been promised.
Small victories will build up your confidence and help you feel empowered to speak up on larger issues.
1-2. Celebrate your successes.
When you achieve something important at work, don't keep it to yourself. You don't want to brag too much, but recognizing your own achievements (and having others recognize them) is important to building your self-confidence.
Getting in the habit of self-reward and self-acknowledgement will help you feel your own worth and value.
1-3. Pretend you are confident.
Even if you don't feel it inside, pretending like you are confident can make you feel more confident, especially if you make a habit of it.
For example, try to smile at your coworkers, and look them in the eye. Walk with some spring in your step, like you're heading somewhere important.
Dressing with authority can also make you feel more authoritative. Pick out clothes that are true to your own style and personality, but also convey the idea that you are a professional.
This strategy can both make you feel more confident, and can also lead others to treat you with more respect, which can likewise help boost your confidence.
1-4. Practice daily.
Think about day-to-day situations in which you often feel uncertain of yourself or hesitant to speak your mind, and look for an opportunity to practice acting confident and speaking up every day.
This may feel awkward at first, but this is how new skills are learned. Consistent practice is the path to mastery.
Repetition and success will eventually make this start to feel natural.
1-5. Engage in self-reflection.
It's important to spend some time thinking about tasks or discussions to which you could contribute more, areas where you are strong, and areas where you have room for improvement.
Being assertive doesn't mean behaving as if you and your ideas are perfect. True confidence comes from emphasizing your strengths, but also understanding your weaknesses and doing what you can to challenge yourself to improve in those areas.
1-6. Dismiss unfounded criticism.
If someone at work criticizes you by saying something that isn't true or isn't fair, try not to dwell on it.
Time spent obsessing over criticism that isn't constructive can damage your confidence. It's also a waste of energy.
2. Projecting Confidence
2-1. Speak up.
An important part of being more assertive at work is appearing (and being) confident in what you have to say. One powerful way of conveying this is simply making your voice heard in situations where your opinion or perspective might be valuable. Don't wait to be called on, but instead, make your views known.
This does not, however, mean your voice always needs to be heard first. Sometimes, it's a better idea to let someone else speak first, and find a way to piggyback your own ideas on top of theirs. This can increase the likelihood of your ideas being approved.
For example, it might be a good idea in a meeting to wait for two or three people to speak, then put forward your own ideas, saying something like, "My idea, which works well with Janet's idea, is....
2-2. Say no.
If you are asked to do something that is not part of your job description, or which you don't have time for because of other projects, you should feel comfortable saying "no" to your coworkers. This doesn't make you selfish.
2-3. Don't be aggressive.
Being assertive doesn't mean you always get your way, and it doesn't mean silencing other people.
The goal of assertiveness is to be confident and persuasive, but not to be demanding, rude, or controlling of others.
Practice empathy. Pay attention to the attitudes of those around you and give them a chance to share their views as well.
Being respectful of other people's opinions will create a more positive environment in which everyone can feel more comfortable sharing their ideas. Not only does this create a more harmonious workplace, it will allow you to feel more comfortable speaking your mind without fear of judgment or undue criticism.
Being aggressive can actually undercut your ability to make your ideas heard, as your co-workers may be put off or distracted by aggressive mannerisms.
2-4. Aim for respect, not friends.
A professional relationship is different from a social one. In the workplace, being respected as an authoritative and valuable member of the staff is more important than being well-liked by your fellow employees.
This is especially true if you are in working in a leadership capacity. Providing those who you are supervising with honest, constructive feedback on their work may not be pleasing to everyone, but is the path to an efficient, effective staff.
Sometimes expressing your honest opinions or assessments won't endear you to your coworkers, but this should be a secondary concern in a professional setting.
3. Speaking Effectively
3-1. Think about what you want to say.
An important part of assertiveness is clear communication. Whether you are speaking up at a meeting, having a one-on-one with your boss, or participating in a team project, you will communicate more clearly and effectively if you've given some thought to what you want to say first..
Having a plan for what you want to say before you start talking will make your thoughts and ideas come across more clearly and confidently.
If you have to present your ideas at a meeting or in some similar forum, do some research on the topic first. If you are well informed about your topic, you will likely be seen as more authoritative, and probably feel more confident.
3-2. Clear the clutter.
When considering what you want to say, make sure to craft your message in such a way as to get right to the point, eliminating any information that isn't necessary to the main idea.
Tangents and going off topic may cause your listener(s) to stop focusing on what you are saying.
3-3. Practice talking about your ideas.
Although you can't anticipate every workplace situation, if you know you'll be at a meeting where you'll want or need to present ideas or information, it's smart to practice your presentation beforehand.
An idea that may seem clear to you in your own head may sound jumbled and confusing when you say it out loud. Practicing the presentation of your thoughts gives you chance to make sure they are clear and well organized before you speak.
Practicing is also good way to reduce "filler," those distracting words or phrases you may use to avoid silence while you gather your thoughts (e.g. "um," "uh," "you know," "like," etc). These space-fillers can make you seems less confident and informed, but you'll be less likely to rely on them if you've practiced what you have to say in advance.
3-4. Manage your volume.
A soft, quiet voice will be some as a lack of confidence or authority. Try to speak up so that your words will be taken more seriously.
This may also take some practice on your part.
Do not yell. While it is important to make your voice heard, you don't want to be seen as disrespectful or overbearing.
3-5. Manage your pacing.
Speaking too quickly can make you appear nervous and also make it harder to keep up with what you're saying. Speaking too slowly can make you appear dull or cause your audience to lose interest.
It is perfectly acceptable to pause for a drink of water if you need a second to gather your thoughts or let your audience catch up.
If you'll be doing a lot of public speaking, consider recording yourself as you practice your presentations. This will help give you a better sense of whether your pacing is effective.
3-6. Avoid undercutting yourself.
Do not use language that makes you seem uncertain or suggests your ideas are not valuable.
For example, don't use the word "just," e.g. "I just think we might want to consider a more ambitious plan." This suggests you don't think your idea is all that valuable.
Similarly, don't start sentences with phrases like "I could be wrong, but..." or "This is only my opinion, but...." These kinds of openings immediately tell your audience that they should not take your opinion seriously.
Tips
It may even be a good idea to keep notes of your successes, which you can revisit in moments when you aren't feeling dissatisfied with your accomplishments. This "victory file" can help you boost your confidence, and can also sometimes provide useful material for future job applications.[35]
X
Research source
Passive behavior, over time, can result in resentment and, eventually aggressive behavior. It may seem like it's better not to "rock the boat" by expressing your opinions, but in the long run, suppressing your ideas and feelings is likely to cause you more trouble than it prevents.[36]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source
Remember that developing your assertiveness, like any other skill, will take time. Celebrate your small victories in the beginning, and work your way up.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:19",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Confidence\\n1-1. Start small.\\nIf you don't feel confident speaking your mind at work, it might not be the best idea to dive right in by volunteering for a major presentation or asking the boss for a big raise. Instead, start with something smaller.\\nFor example, if you were promised some new supplies, like a new monitor for your desk, but your supervisor has forgotten about it or hasn't gotten around to it, make a polite request for those items you've already been promised.\\nSmall victories will build up your confidence and help you feel empowered to speak up on larger issues.\\n1-2. Celebrate your successes.\\nWhen you achieve something important at work, don't keep it to yourself. You don't want to brag too much, but recognizing your own achievements (and having others recognize them) is important to building your self-confidence.\\nGetting in the habit of self-reward and self-acknowledgement will help you feel your own worth and value.\\n1-3. Pretend you are confident.\\nEven if you don't feel it inside, pretending like you are confident can make you feel more confident, especially if you make a habit of it.\\nFor example, try to smile at your coworkers, and look them in the eye. Walk with some spring in your step, like you're heading somewhere important.\\nDressing with authority can also make you feel more authoritative. Pick out clothes that are true to your own style and personality, but also convey the idea that you are a professional.\\nThis strategy can both make you feel more confident, and can also lead others to treat you with more respect, which can likewise help boost your confidence.\\n1-4. Practice daily.\\nThink about day-to-day situations in which you often feel uncertain of yourself or hesitant to speak your mind, and look for an opportunity to practice acting confident and speaking up every day.\\nThis may feel awkward at first, but this is how new skills are learned. Consistent practice is the path to mastery.\\nRepetition and success will eventually make this start to feel natural.\\n1-5. Engage in self-reflection.\\nIt's important to spend some time thinking about tasks or discussions to which you could contribute more, areas where you are strong, and areas where you have room for improvement.\\nBeing assertive doesn't mean behaving as if you and your ideas are perfect. True confidence comes from emphasizing your strengths, but also understanding your weaknesses and doing what you can to challenge yourself to improve in those areas.\\n1-6. Dismiss unfounded criticism.\\nIf someone at work criticizes you by saying something that isn't true or isn't fair, try not to dwell on it.\\nTime spent obsessing over criticism that isn't constructive can damage your confidence. It's also a waste of energy.\\n2. Projecting Confidence\\n2-1. Speak up.\\nAn important part of being more assertive at work is appearing (and being) confident in what you have to say. One powerful way of conveying this is simply making your voice heard in situations where your opinion or perspective might be valuable. Don't wait to be called on, but instead, make your views known.\\nThis does not, however, mean your voice always needs to be heard first. Sometimes, it's a better idea to let someone else speak first, and find a way to piggyback your own ideas on top of theirs. This can increase the likelihood of your ideas being approved.\\nFor example, it might be a good idea in a meeting to wait for two or three people to speak, then put forward your own ideas, saying something like, \\\"My idea, which works well with Janet's idea, is....\\n2-2. Say no.\\nIf you are asked to do something that is not part of your job description, or which you don't have time for because of other projects, you should feel comfortable saying \\\"no\\\" to your coworkers. This doesn't make you selfish.\\n2-3. Don't be aggressive.\\nBeing assertive doesn't mean you always get your way, and it doesn't mean silencing other people.\\nThe goal of assertiveness is to be confident and persuasive, but not to be demanding, rude, or controlling of others.\\nPractice empathy. Pay attention to the attitudes of those around you and give them a chance to share their views as well.\\nBeing respectful of other people's opinions will create a more positive environment in which everyone can feel more comfortable sharing their ideas. Not only does this create a more harmonious workplace, it will allow you to feel more comfortable speaking your mind without fear of judgment or undue criticism.\\nBeing aggressive can actually undercut your ability to make your ideas heard, as your co-workers may be put off or distracted by aggressive mannerisms.\\n2-4. Aim for respect, not friends.\\nA professional relationship is different from a social one. In the workplace, being respected as an authoritative and valuable member of the staff is more important than being well-liked by your fellow employees.\\nThis is especially true if you are in working in a leadership capacity. Providing those who you are supervising with honest, constructive feedback on their work may not be pleasing to everyone, but is the path to an efficient, effective staff.\\nSometimes expressing your honest opinions or assessments won't endear you to your coworkers, but this should be a secondary concern in a professional setting.\\n3. Speaking Effectively\\n3-1. Think about what you want to say.\\nAn important part of assertiveness is clear communication. Whether you are speaking up at a meeting, having a one-on-one with your boss, or participating in a team project, you will communicate more clearly and effectively if you've given some thought to what you want to say first..\\nHaving a plan for what you want to say before you start talking will make your thoughts and ideas come across more clearly and confidently.\\nIf you have to present your ideas at a meeting or in some similar forum, do some research on the topic first. If you are well informed about your topic, you will likely be seen as more authoritative, and probably feel more confident.\\n3-2. Clear the clutter.\\nWhen considering what you want to say, make sure to craft your message in such a way as to get right to the point, eliminating any information that isn't necessary to the main idea.\\nTangents and going off topic may cause your listener(s) to stop focusing on what you are saying.\\n3-3. Practice talking about your ideas.\\nAlthough you can't anticipate every workplace situation, if you know you'll be at a meeting where you'll want or need to present ideas or information, it's smart to practice your presentation beforehand.\\nAn idea that may seem clear to you in your own head may sound jumbled and confusing when you say it out loud. Practicing the presentation of your thoughts gives you chance to make sure they are clear and well organized before you speak.\\nPracticing is also good way to reduce \\\"filler,\\\" those distracting words or phrases you may use to avoid silence while you gather your thoughts (e.g. \\\"um,\\\" \\\"uh,\\\" \\\"you know,\\\" \\\"like,\\\" etc). These space-fillers can make you seems less confident and informed, but you'll be less likely to rely on them if you've practiced what you have to say in advance.\\n3-4. Manage your volume.\\nA soft, quiet voice will be some as a lack of confidence or authority. Try to speak up so that your words will be taken more seriously.\\nThis may also take some practice on your part.\\nDo not yell. While it is important to make your voice heard, you don't want to be seen as disrespectful or overbearing.\\n3-5. Manage your pacing.\\nSpeaking too quickly can make you appear nervous and also make it harder to keep up with what you're saying. Speaking too slowly can make you appear dull or cause your audience to lose interest.\\nIt is perfectly acceptable to pause for a drink of water if you need a second to gather your thoughts or let your audience catch up.\\nIf you'll be doing a lot of public speaking, consider recording yourself as you practice your presentations. This will help give you a better sense of whether your pacing is effective.\\n3-6. Avoid undercutting yourself.\\nDo not use language that makes you seem uncertain or suggests your ideas are not valuable.\\nFor example, don't use the word \\\"just,\\\" e.g. \\\"I just think we might want to consider a more ambitious plan.\\\" This suggests you don't think your idea is all that valuable.\\nSimilarly, don't start sentences with phrases like \\\"I could be wrong, but...\\\" or \\\"This is only my opinion, but....\\\" These kinds of openings immediately tell your audience that they should not take your opinion seriously.\\nTips\\nIt may even be a good idea to keep notes of your successes, which you can revisit in moments when you aren't feeling dissatisfied with your accomplishments. This \\\"victory file\\\" can help you boost your confidence, and can also sometimes provide useful material for future job applications.[35]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nPassive behavior, over time, can result in resentment and, eventually aggressive behavior. It may seem like it's better not to \\\"rock the boat\\\" by expressing your opinions, but in the long run, suppressing your ideas and feelings is likely to cause you more trouble than it prevents.[36]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\nRemember that developing your assertiveness, like any other skill, will take time. Celebrate your small victories in the beginning, and work your way up.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can often be hard to speak your mind at work, especially if you are naturally reserved in social situations or lack self confidence. Being assertive in the workplace, however, is an important communication skill. Psychologists have found that those who learn how to productively speak their minds at their place of employment do better at work, have more free time, and have healthier personal relationships. Even if assertiveness doesn't come naturally to you, it is a skill you can learn, and this article will provide you with a starting point.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start small.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't feel confident speaking your mind at work, it might not be the best idea to dive right in by volunteering for a major presentation or asking the boss for a big raise. Instead, start with something smaller.\\nFor example, if you were promised some new supplies, like a new monitor for your desk, but your supervisor has forgotten about it or hasn't gotten around to it, make a polite request for those items you've already been promised.\\nSmall victories will build up your confidence and help you feel empowered to speak up on larger issues.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your successes.\", \"描述\": \"When you achieve something important at work, don't keep it to yourself. You don't want to brag too much, but recognizing your own achievements (and having others recognize them) is important to building your self-confidence.\\nGetting in the habit of self-reward and self-acknowledgement will help you feel your own worth and value.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pretend you are confident.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't feel it inside, pretending like you are confident can make you feel more confident, especially if you make a habit of it.\\nFor example, try to smile at your coworkers, and look them in the eye. Walk with some spring in your step, like you're heading somewhere important.\\nDressing with authority can also make you feel more authoritative. Pick out clothes that are true to your own style and personality, but also convey the idea that you are a professional.\\nThis strategy can both make you feel more confident, and can also lead others to treat you with more respect, which can likewise help boost your confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice daily.\", \"描述\": \"Think about day-to-day situations in which you often feel uncertain of yourself or hesitant to speak your mind, and look for an opportunity to practice acting confident and speaking up every day.\\nThis may feel awkward at first, but this is how new skills are learned. Consistent practice is the path to mastery.\\nRepetition and success will eventually make this start to feel natural.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Engage in self-reflection.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to spend some time thinking about tasks or discussions to which you could contribute more, areas where you are strong, and areas where you have room for improvement.\\nBeing assertive doesn't mean behaving as if you and your ideas are perfect. True confidence comes from emphasizing your strengths, but also understanding your weaknesses and doing what you can to challenge yourself to improve in those areas.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Dismiss unfounded criticism.\", \"描述\": \"If someone at work criticizes you by saying something that isn't true or isn't fair, try not to dwell on it.\\nTime spent obsessing over criticism that isn't constructive can damage your confidence. It's also a waste of energy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Projecting Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak up.\", \"描述\": \"An important part of being more assertive at work is appearing (and being) confident in what you have to say. One powerful way of conveying this is simply making your voice heard in situations where your opinion or perspective might be valuable. Don't wait to be called on, but instead, make your views known.\\nThis does not, however, mean your voice always needs to be heard first. Sometimes, it's a better idea to let someone else speak first, and find a way to piggyback your own ideas on top of theirs. This can increase the likelihood of your ideas being approved.\\nFor example, it might be a good idea in a meeting to wait for two or three people to speak, then put forward your own ideas, saying something like, \\\"My idea, which works well with Janet's idea, is....\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say no.\", \"描述\": \"If you are asked to do something that is not part of your job description, or which you don't have time for because of other projects, you should feel comfortable saying \\\"no\\\" to your coworkers. This doesn't make you selfish.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't be aggressive.\", \"描述\": \"Being assertive doesn't mean you always get your way, and it doesn't mean silencing other people.\\nThe goal of assertiveness is to be confident and persuasive, but not to be demanding, rude, or controlling of others.\\nPractice empathy. Pay attention to the attitudes of those around you and give them a chance to share their views as well.\\nBeing respectful of other people's opinions will create a more positive environment in which everyone can feel more comfortable sharing their ideas. Not only does this create a more harmonious workplace, it will allow you to feel more comfortable speaking your mind without fear of judgment or undue criticism.\\nBeing aggressive can actually undercut your ability to make your ideas heard, as your co-workers may be put off or distracted by aggressive mannerisms.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Aim for respect, not friends.\", \"描述\": \"A professional relationship is different from a social one. In the workplace, being respected as an authoritative and valuable member of the staff is more important than being well-liked by your fellow employees.\\nThis is especially true if you are in working in a leadership capacity. Providing those who you are supervising with honest, constructive feedback on their work may not be pleasing to everyone, but is the path to an efficient, effective staff.\\nSometimes expressing your honest opinions or assessments won't endear you to your coworkers, but this should be a secondary concern in a professional setting.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speaking Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about what you want to say.\", \"描述\": \"An important part of assertiveness is clear communication. Whether you are speaking up at a meeting, having a one-on-one with your boss, or participating in a team project, you will communicate more clearly and effectively if you've given some thought to what you want to say first..\\nHaving a plan for what you want to say before you start talking will make your thoughts and ideas come across more clearly and confidently.\\nIf you have to present your ideas at a meeting or in some similar forum, do some research on the topic first. If you are well informed about your topic, you will likely be seen as more authoritative, and probably feel more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clear the clutter.\", \"描述\": \"When considering what you want to say, make sure to craft your message in such a way as to get right to the point, eliminating any information that isn't necessary to the main idea.\\nTangents and going off topic may cause your listener(s) to stop focusing on what you are saying.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice talking about your ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Although you can't anticipate every workplace situation, if you know you'll be at a meeting where you'll want or need to present ideas or information, it's smart to practice your presentation beforehand.\\nAn idea that may seem clear to you in your own head may sound jumbled and confusing when you say it out loud. Practicing the presentation of your thoughts gives you chance to make sure they are clear and well organized before you speak.\\nPracticing is also good way to reduce \\\"filler,\\\" those distracting words or phrases you may use to avoid silence while you gather your thoughts (e.g. \\\"um,\\\" \\\"uh,\\\" \\\"you know,\\\" \\\"like,\\\" etc). These space-fillers can make you seems less confident and informed, but you'll be less likely to rely on them if you've practiced what you have to say in advance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Manage your volume.\", \"描述\": \"A soft, quiet voice will be some as a lack of confidence or authority. Try to speak up so that your words will be taken more seriously.\\nThis may also take some practice on your part.\\nDo not yell. While it is important to make your voice heard, you don't want to be seen as disrespectful or overbearing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Manage your pacing.\", \"描述\": \"Speaking too quickly can make you appear nervous and also make it harder to keep up with what you're saying. Speaking too slowly can make you appear dull or cause your audience to lose interest.\\nIt is perfectly acceptable to pause for a drink of water if you need a second to gather your thoughts or let your audience catch up.\\nIf you'll be doing a lot of public speaking, consider recording yourself as you practice your presentations. This will help give you a better sense of whether your pacing is effective.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid undercutting yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Do not use language that makes you seem uncertain or suggests your ideas are not valuable.\\nFor example, don't use the word \\\"just,\\\" e.g. \\\"I just think we might want to consider a more ambitious plan.\\\" This suggests you don't think your idea is all that valuable.\\nSimilarly, don't start sentences with phrases like \\\"I could be wrong, but...\\\" or \\\"This is only my opinion, but....\\\" These kinds of openings immediately tell your audience that they should not take your opinion seriously.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It may even be a good idea to keep notes of your successes, which you can revisit in moments when you aren't feeling dissatisfied with your accomplishments. This \\\"victory file\\\" can help you boost your confidence, and can also sometimes provide useful material for future job applications.[35]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Passive behavior, over time, can result in resentment and, eventually aggressive behavior. It may seem like it's better not to \\\"rock the boat\\\" by expressing your opinions, but in the long run, suppressing your ideas and feelings is likely to cause you more trouble than it prevents.[36]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Remember that developing your assertiveness, like any other skill, will take time. Celebrate your small victories in the beginning, and work your way up.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,934 | How to Be More Attractive to Men | 1. Personality
1-1. Be confident
For many people, being confident is easier said than done. Being confident means feeling secure in who you are and what your abilities are. If you're not already confident, there are ways to build your self esteem.
As an example, if you struggle with negative self talk (those voices in your head that tell you you’re a loser, worthless, stupid etc.), work on countering that with positive affirmations such as “I am thoughtful” or “I am a good friend”.
When you're confident, you don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, and you don’t talk down to yourself. Confident people are able to celebrate the success of others, without feeling jealous or bad about themselves.
1-2. Relax
It can be difficult to enjoy life when your mind is on the past or future. Instead of worrying about what you just said or what might happen next, so enjoy the moment you're in.
If you’re nervous and unsure of what to say, a great way to connect with someone is to ask them questions. In particular, asking someone for advice about something, or encouraging them to talk about themselves, is a great way to get them to like you.
If you are relaxed and focused during your time with others, they will be more likely to enjoy your company and seek it out again.
1-3. Be an active listener.
If you’re talking to a guy you like (or anybody, for that matter), a surefire way to get them to like you (at the very least, as a friend) is to actively listen to them. Active listening involves the following steps:
Don’t interrupt or judge the person who is talking.
Nod your head or give short verbal signs (“yes”, “mm hmm”) that show you acknowledge what the person is saying.
Paraphrase what they’ve said so that they know you’ve understood.
Ask questions to signal you’ve paid attention and are interested.
1-4. Be honest but respectful.
Resist the urge to tell a guy what he wants to hear instead of what you really think. Just be sure to be respectful while you’re voicing your opinion. There’s no need to insult him or his ideas.
You want him to like you for who you are, not for who you think he wants you to be. He might even appreciate that you have your own ideas and the courage to voice them.
For example, if a guy asks what you think of a movie you didn't like, say what you really think instead of pretending you liked it just because you think he liked it. If nothing else, it'll lead to an interesting conversation.
1-5. Share your passions and interests.
When people talk about their passions, it's like they come more fully alive. Their excitement can be infectious, making them exciting and fun to be around.
When you're talking to a guy you're interested in, don't be afraid to reveal a little about what's important to you.
Don’t forget to ask questions about his interests, too. This will show him that you’re interested in getting to know him better, and could help him feel closer to you.
1-6. Do things that enrich your life.
Volunteer for a cause you believe in; learn a musical instrument; take dance classes; train for a marathon; or join a recreational sports team. Being happy and fulfilled will make you more attractive to men.
In addition, having hobbies will give you more to talk about and more opportunities to bond with your crush, if he shares any of your interests. You might even meet someone through your hobbies.
1-7. Show that you care.
Do little things to show him that you’re interested and that you care about him. If you’re at a party, ask him if he needs a drink or some snacks; if you’ve recently talked about a concern of his, check in to see how he’s doing with that concern.
Studies have shown that if you’re loving, supportive and stable, people are more likely to consider you as a potential mate, so take opportunities to show that you are all of those things.
1-8. Be honest about who you are.
Countless romantic comedies are built around someone saying they’re someone they aren’t, and their lie blowing up in their face. Don’t be that someone.
If your ideal night is at home with pizza and Netflix, don’t tell your crush you’re a party animal. It will only be exhausting for you, and sad when you inevitably break up because all he wants to do is party and all you want to do is relax.
If you love math and want to teach, don’t tell your adventure-seeking crush that your dream job is being a snowboarding teacher at a resort.
1-9. Don’t change who you are for anyone else.
It can be fun and even healthy to step outside of your comfort zone — for example, by trying new hobbies or being more social — but always make sure that you’re doing it with a firm sense of who you are and what you want in life. Stay true to your beliefs and goals.
The only good reason for changing who you are is if you are unhappy with who you are, and you want to change so that you’re happier with yourself.
If being with a certain guy requires you to be someone completely different, you probably shouldn’t be with him.
2. Physical Appearance
2-1. Know that your physical appearance is only a small part of your attractiveness.
Research shows that while physical elements play a key role in a man’s initial attraction to a woman, other factors are also important. These include humour, beliefs, and personality.
Men generally like women who appear young and healthy — with good skin, youthful facial features, and trim figures — because on a subconscious level they are evaluating them as possible mates.
2-2. Recognize your beauty
It doesn't matter what shape you are, what your skin color is, what size you are or how long your hair is: there is beauty in you.
Studies show that other people see you as 20% more attractive than you see yourself. Too many women judge themselves harshly instead of seeing their own beauty.
Maybe you don't conform to conventional beauty standards, but who are those for, anyway? The beauty standards of today are different from those of the past and will continue to shift through time.
2-3. Find your personal style.
Your style should be an expression of your personality, rather than a copy of someone else's version of what's attractive. Wear things that fit well, suit your body type, and make you feel confident.
If you’re unsure of what your style is, seek inspiration in fashion icons and the people you look up to. It’s okay to experiment with different looks — it doesn’t mean you’re trying to be someone else, it’s about exploring how you express yourself.
Play around with accessories, styles and colors you wouldn't normally choose. If they feel good, wear them out; if they make you feel like you're playing dress-up, keep experimenting.
2-4. Play up your favorite features.
Are there certain features that you really love about yourself? Maybe it's your deep brown eyes, your amazing hair or your pretty chin. Whatever it is, other people are sure to think it's attractive, too.
Find ways to make your best features stand out by choosing certain clothes, accessories and makeup that accentuate them.
For example, if you have really pretty dark eyes, wearing gold hoop earrings might draw more attention to them. Or, if you love your long, slender neck, you could wear V-neck tops or get a shoulder-length haircut that draws the eye to your neck.
2-5. Wear makeup
Some studies show that men find women more attractive when they’re wearing makeup. Other studies have shown that men prefer women who wear less makeup (although to be fair, sometimes men think a natural look equates to no makeup).
If you’re not big on makeup but you’d like to try it out, you can start by keeping a natural look and just giving your face a healthy glow. You might top it off with some mascara and a natural-looking lip gloss.
Ultimately it’s most important to do what feels good to you. If you don’t want to wear makeup, don’t do it.
Make sure what you're doing to your face and body is what you want to do, also. Don't change the way you look just because you think a certain guy will like it more that way.
2-6. Use makeup to make yourself look younger and healthier.
Much of what attracts men to women is related to a primal instinct wherein their mind views certain features as signalling a better ability to reproduce. Symmetrical, youthful faces signal fertility and health.
Studies have shown that men prefer women with childlike faces — big eyes, small noses, full lips, and a small chin. You can use mascara and lip plumper to make your eyes look wide and your lips look full.
If you want to go further, try using some contouring powder to make your face look more youthful and symmetrical.
2-7. Play up your lips.
Research has shown that on average, men are more attracted to women’s lips than to any other body part. If you put some lipstick on — especially red lipstick — your lips will be even more attractive to most men.
A common belief is that a full, red lip mimics widened blood vessels during arousal, leading men to think about getting intimate.
2-8. Pay attention to the pitch of your voice.
Studies have shown that men generally find women with higher-pitched voices more attractive than those with lower-pitched voices.
Ultimately you need to be yourself. Men will be most attached to a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin (and voice), but it’s an interesting fact worth knowing. (The study also showed that women prefer men with deeper voices.)
2-9. Give your body an hourglass shape.
Research shows that on average, men are most attracted to hourglass figures — a small waist and larger hips, which suggest health and fertility. The hourglass shape is the most rare body type, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t naturally have it.
You can achieve an hourglass shape through exercises that build your bum and hips, and tighten your waist; certain styles of clothing; and/or by using a waist cincher, which is also known as waist training.
Note that in some countries, a larger, rounder flame is considered more attractive as it signifies access to food and money.
2-10. Hang out with other girls.
When you hang out with a group of girls, men will generally see individual group members as being more attractive than they actually are.
It may seem counterintuitive, as you may feel like hanging out with girls who are prettier than you will make you seem uglier, but it’s the opposite — you’ll all look more attractive.
3. Wellbeing
3-1. Be kind to yourself.
This is related to being confident. You may be striving to attract a man, but what will help you do that most is to become attractive in your own eyes. Take good care of yourself: eat well, exercise, sleep enough. And don’t beat yourself up if you have an off day or don’t look like a supermodel.
If you’re trying to attract a man you’ll likely read all sorts of article that tell you what men like, and it will often be things that you don’t have.
Research has proven that personality is more important than physical appearance, which is why it's so important to be happy and comfortable in your own skin.
3-2. Exercise regularly.
Advice varies depending on what you read, but on average, if you’re trying to stay in shape, you should aim to be active at least 30 minutes a day, every day. This could be something as simple as going for a walk or doing three 10-minute bursts of exercise throughout the day.
Exercising does more than keep your body healthy. It keeps your mind healthy too!
3-3. Drink enough water.
Divide your body weight (in pounds) in half: that’s how many ounces of water you should drink a day. The amount could be more if you live in a hot climate and/or exercise regularly.
A 150-pound woman should drink between 75 and 150 ounces of water each day depending on her level of activity and where she lives.
3-4. Get enough sleep.
Studies have shown that people who are sleep deprived are less attractive than when they have had a restful night’s sleep.
It’s possible to hide a bad night’s sleep with a good concealer. Get one that closely matches your skin type and use it to cover up any dark under-eye circles. Precede it with an eye cream if you need help with puffiness.
If you regularly don’t get enough sleep, consider seeing a doctor to see what the problem may be.
3-5. Eat healthfully.
Eat lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid eating processed and packaged foods, and too much sugar or salt. This will help keep your weight down, your mood stable, and your skin and hair looking good.
3-6. Keep your skin healthy.
Wash your face twice a day with a cleanser made for your skin type (types include normal, combination, oily, and sensitive). Follow this up with a good moisturizer that contains an SPF.
When you get out of the shower, apply a body moisturizer to keep all of your skin feeling smooth and soft.
3-7. Have a great smile
Smooth, full lips and straight, white teeth are commonly quoted as being key attractors for men and women. Drink enough water and regularly moisturize your lips to keep them smooth, and regularly brush your teeth.
Straight, white teeth are a sign of good genetics and on a primal level attract men.
If you don’t have white teeth, don’t fret! It’s totally normal. If your teeth are healthy but just a bit stained, clean them up with a whitening toothpaste, or consult your doctor about a whitening treatment.
3-8. Take good care of your hair.
Studies have shown that long, full, shiny hair is most attractive to men as it signifies health and fertility. On average, men rate women with long hair as more attractive than those with short hair, even if they have the same facial features.
More important than tailoring your hair (or anything for that matter) to getting a guy is wearing your hair in a look that complements your facial shape and your personal style. Above all else, you need to feel good about how you look.
If you do want to experiment with longer hair, consider trying clip-in hair extensions, which can be purchased at salons and beauty supply shops. If your hair is very short, you might try a wig instead.
Avoid dyeing, straightening, or otherwise over-processing your hair, as frizzy, damaged hair is unattractive.
4. Flirting
4-1. Hang out in places where you tend to have a lot of fun.
These are the spots where you feel the most carefree, relaxed, and happy, making you look and feel more attractive.
You’ll also be more likely to meet men who share your interests and have fun doing the same things you love.
For example, if you love playing softball, join a co-ed softball team. You’re at your most attractive when you’re relaxed and having fun, so be good at what you do, but don’t take it so seriously that you get angry or mean!
4-2. Make eye contact.
This is possibly the most effective flirting technique there is. Making eye contact projects confidence, show's you're interested, and makes people weak in the knees.
A common practice is to look into his eyes and then smile briefly before looking away. Do this a few times over 20 minutes or so, and if he’s interested, he’ll likely approach you.
If you’re already talking to him, make eye contact at special points in the conversation, like while you're giving him a compliment. Once in a while, hold his eyes just a little longer than normal to suggest that something deeper is going on.
Don't linger for too long, or it could get intense and weird. Keep things subtle in the beginning.
4-3. Smile
Research has shown that happy women, particularly smiling ones, are generally more attractive to men. Make sure your smile is sincere, engaging your eyes and not just your mouth, which can come off as looking fake.
Laugh if he says something you think is funny, but make sure it's not forced.
A very powerful flirtation technique is to smile and make eye contact at the same time.
You can tailor your smile to the occasion — a brief shy smile to get him interested, or maybe a longer mischievous grin once you’re already talking, to let him know you’re interested too.
4-4. Start a conversation.
You don't have to wait for him to do the talking. If you're interested in someone, introduce yourself and strike up a friendly conversation so you can get to know each other a bit.
Be sure to keep things light-hearted. If you’ve just seen a movie or a concert, talk about that. If you’re sharing a class, ask how he’s enjoying it.
As you converse, see if you can gauge his interest. If he returns eye contact, asks you questions and seems engaged, keep up the conversation and see where things go.
If he doesn't seem interested, don’t push it. Just tell him it was nice to meet him, politely excuse yourself, and start talking with a friend or someone else.
4-5. Compliment him.
A safe way to show a guy you’re interested and to make him more interested in you is to compliment him. Studies have shown that even insincere compliments can be effective, but it’s best to be sincere in your compliments.
If he looks good in a specific shirt, tell him. If he changes his hair, let him know you’ve noticed and that you like it. Compliments will not only make him feel good; they’ll hint to him that you like him.
4-6. Take the conversation to the next level.
If the conversation goes really well, and it seems like he's reciprocating, you can ask for his number. You don't have to wait for him to make the first move.
Schedule the date for a few days later so you both have some time to think about it and get ready.
If you're not quite ready to go on the date, you could just get his number or give him yours.
4-7. Mirror his body language.
Don’t be obvious about it, but do mirror the positions and movements that a man takes when he’s talking to you. Mirroring his actions sends a subconscious message that you like him, and it will make him more likely to like you back.
As an example, if he runs his hand through his hair, wait a minute or two then casually do the same, with your other hand though. Make sure it looks unintentional. You don’t want to seem like a creepy copier (which you kind of are!).
Tips
Gross but true: If you’re only looking for a brief romantic encounter based on physical attractiveness, one study has shown that men are more attracted to women who appear to be immature, dumb, or drunk. The opposite is true for men looking for long-term partners, where smarts boost attraction.[35]
X
Research source
Many men reportedly want a woman they know and trust over someone who may be more traditionally (and thus initially) attractive.[36]
X
Research source
Keep your phone on silent and in your purse/pocket when you’re on a date. If you're checking messages, looking for funny pictures and Instagram-ming your meal, your date will begin to wonder whether you even want him there.
Warnings
Don’t become someone you’re not just to get a guy. It’s said so often it might have lost meaning for you, but it’s true: the most important thing you can do to make yourself more attractive is to think you’re attractive. Be confident and know that you’re beautiful inside and out.
Don’t expect all men to live up to the stereotype — for example, wanting youthful-looking women with small, hourglass figures and high-pitched voices. The studies that suggest these variables must work on averages, and as a result they cannot accurately tell you what every man will be like.[37]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:19",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Personality\\n1-1. Be confident\\nFor many people, being confident is easier said than done. Being confident means feeling secure in who you are and what your abilities are. If you're not already confident, there are ways to build your self esteem.\\nAs an example, if you struggle with negative self talk (those voices in your head that tell you you’re a loser, worthless, stupid etc.), work on countering that with positive affirmations such as “I am thoughtful” or “I am a good friend”.\\nWhen you're confident, you don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, and you don’t talk down to yourself. Confident people are able to celebrate the success of others, without feeling jealous or bad about themselves.\\n1-2. Relax\\nIt can be difficult to enjoy life when your mind is on the past or future. Instead of worrying about what you just said or what might happen next, so enjoy the moment you're in.\\nIf you’re nervous and unsure of what to say, a great way to connect with someone is to ask them questions. In particular, asking someone for advice about something, or encouraging them to talk about themselves, is a great way to get them to like you.\\nIf you are relaxed and focused during your time with others, they will be more likely to enjoy your company and seek it out again.\\n1-3. Be an active listener.\\nIf you’re talking to a guy you like (or anybody, for that matter), a surefire way to get them to like you (at the very least, as a friend) is to actively listen to them. Active listening involves the following steps:\\nDon’t interrupt or judge the person who is talking.\\nNod your head or give short verbal signs (“yes”, “mm hmm”) that show you acknowledge what the person is saying.\\nParaphrase what they’ve said so that they know you’ve understood.\\nAsk questions to signal you’ve paid attention and are interested.\\n1-4. Be honest but respectful.\\nResist the urge to tell a guy what he wants to hear instead of what you really think. Just be sure to be respectful while you’re voicing your opinion. There’s no need to insult him or his ideas.\\nYou want him to like you for who you are, not for who you think he wants you to be. He might even appreciate that you have your own ideas and the courage to voice them.\\nFor example, if a guy asks what you think of a movie you didn't like, say what you really think instead of pretending you liked it just because you think he liked it. If nothing else, it'll lead to an interesting conversation.\\n1-5. Share your passions and interests.\\nWhen people talk about their passions, it's like they come more fully alive. Their excitement can be infectious, making them exciting and fun to be around.\\nWhen you're talking to a guy you're interested in, don't be afraid to reveal a little about what's important to you.\\nDon’t forget to ask questions about his interests, too. This will show him that you’re interested in getting to know him better, and could help him feel closer to you.\\n1-6. Do things that enrich your life.\\nVolunteer for a cause you believe in; learn a musical instrument; take dance classes; train for a marathon; or join a recreational sports team. Being happy and fulfilled will make you more attractive to men.\\nIn addition, having hobbies will give you more to talk about and more opportunities to bond with your crush, if he shares any of your interests. You might even meet someone through your hobbies.\\n1-7. Show that you care.\\nDo little things to show him that you’re interested and that you care about him. If you’re at a party, ask him if he needs a drink or some snacks; if you’ve recently talked about a concern of his, check in to see how he’s doing with that concern.\\nStudies have shown that if you’re loving, supportive and stable, people are more likely to consider you as a potential mate, so take opportunities to show that you are all of those things.\\n1-8. Be honest about who you are.\\nCountless romantic comedies are built around someone saying they’re someone they aren’t, and their lie blowing up in their face. Don’t be that someone.\\nIf your ideal night is at home with pizza and Netflix, don’t tell your crush you’re a party animal. It will only be exhausting for you, and sad when you inevitably break up because all he wants to do is party and all you want to do is relax.\\nIf you love math and want to teach, don’t tell your adventure-seeking crush that your dream job is being a snowboarding teacher at a resort.\\n1-9. Don’t change who you are for anyone else.\\nIt can be fun and even healthy to step outside of your comfort zone — for example, by trying new hobbies or being more social — but always make sure that you’re doing it with a firm sense of who you are and what you want in life. Stay true to your beliefs and goals.\\nThe only good reason for changing who you are is if you are unhappy with who you are, and you want to change so that you’re happier with yourself.\\nIf being with a certain guy requires you to be someone completely different, you probably shouldn’t be with him.\\n2. Physical Appearance\\n2-1. Know that your physical appearance is only a small part of your attractiveness.\\nResearch shows that while physical elements play a key role in a man’s initial attraction to a woman, other factors are also important. These include humour, beliefs, and personality.\\nMen generally like women who appear young and healthy — with good skin, youthful facial features, and trim figures — because on a subconscious level they are evaluating them as possible mates.\\n2-2. Recognize your beauty\\nIt doesn't matter what shape you are, what your skin color is, what size you are or how long your hair is: there is beauty in you.\\nStudies show that other people see you as 20% more attractive than you see yourself. Too many women judge themselves harshly instead of seeing their own beauty.\\nMaybe you don't conform to conventional beauty standards, but who are those for, anyway? The beauty standards of today are different from those of the past and will continue to shift through time.\\n2-3. Find your personal style.\\nYour style should be an expression of your personality, rather than a copy of someone else's version of what's attractive. Wear things that fit well, suit your body type, and make you feel confident.\\nIf you’re unsure of what your style is, seek inspiration in fashion icons and the people you look up to. It’s okay to experiment with different looks — it doesn’t mean you’re trying to be someone else, it’s about exploring how you express yourself.\\nPlay around with accessories, styles and colors you wouldn't normally choose. If they feel good, wear them out; if they make you feel like you're playing dress-up, keep experimenting.\\n2-4. Play up your favorite features.\\nAre there certain features that you really love about yourself? Maybe it's your deep brown eyes, your amazing hair or your pretty chin. Whatever it is, other people are sure to think it's attractive, too.\\nFind ways to make your best features stand out by choosing certain clothes, accessories and makeup that accentuate them.\\nFor example, if you have really pretty dark eyes, wearing gold hoop earrings might draw more attention to them. Or, if you love your long, slender neck, you could wear V-neck tops or get a shoulder-length haircut that draws the eye to your neck.\\n2-5. Wear makeup\\nSome studies show that men find women more attractive when they’re wearing makeup. Other studies have shown that men prefer women who wear less makeup (although to be fair, sometimes men think a natural look equates to no makeup).\\nIf you’re not big on makeup but you’d like to try it out, you can start by keeping a natural look and just giving your face a healthy glow. You might top it off with some mascara and a natural-looking lip gloss.\\nUltimately it’s most important to do what feels good to you. If you don’t want to wear makeup, don’t do it.\\nMake sure what you're doing to your face and body is what you want to do, also. Don't change the way you look just because you think a certain guy will like it more that way.\\n2-6. Use makeup to make yourself look younger and healthier.\\nMuch of what attracts men to women is related to a primal instinct wherein their mind views certain features as signalling a better ability to reproduce. Symmetrical, youthful faces signal fertility and health.\\nStudies have shown that men prefer women with childlike faces — big eyes, small noses, full lips, and a small chin. You can use mascara and lip plumper to make your eyes look wide and your lips look full.\\nIf you want to go further, try using some contouring powder to make your face look more youthful and symmetrical.\\n2-7. Play up your lips.\\nResearch has shown that on average, men are more attracted to women’s lips than to any other body part. If you put some lipstick on — especially red lipstick — your lips will be even more attractive to most men.\\nA common belief is that a full, red lip mimics widened blood vessels during arousal, leading men to think about getting intimate.\\n2-8. Pay attention to the pitch of your voice.\\nStudies have shown that men generally find women with higher-pitched voices more attractive than those with lower-pitched voices.\\nUltimately you need to be yourself. Men will be most attached to a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin (and voice), but it’s an interesting fact worth knowing. (The study also showed that women prefer men with deeper voices.)\\n2-9. Give your body an hourglass shape.\\nResearch shows that on average, men are most attracted to hourglass figures — a small waist and larger hips, which suggest health and fertility. The hourglass shape is the most rare body type, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t naturally have it.\\nYou can achieve an hourglass shape through exercises that build your bum and hips, and tighten your waist; certain styles of clothing; and/or by using a waist cincher, which is also known as waist training.\\nNote that in some countries, a larger, rounder flame is considered more attractive as it signifies access to food and money.\\n2-10. Hang out with other girls.\\nWhen you hang out with a group of girls, men will generally see individual group members as being more attractive than they actually are.\\nIt may seem counterintuitive, as you may feel like hanging out with girls who are prettier than you will make you seem uglier, but it’s the opposite — you’ll all look more attractive.\\n3. Wellbeing\\n3-1. Be kind to yourself.\\nThis is related to being confident. You may be striving to attract a man, but what will help you do that most is to become attractive in your own eyes. Take good care of yourself: eat well, exercise, sleep enough. And don’t beat yourself up if you have an off day or don’t look like a supermodel.\\nIf you’re trying to attract a man you’ll likely read all sorts of article that tell you what men like, and it will often be things that you don’t have.\\nResearch has proven that personality is more important than physical appearance, which is why it's so important to be happy and comfortable in your own skin.\\n3-2. Exercise regularly.\\nAdvice varies depending on what you read, but on average, if you’re trying to stay in shape, you should aim to be active at least 30 minutes a day, every day. This could be something as simple as going for a walk or doing three 10-minute bursts of exercise throughout the day.\\nExercising does more than keep your body healthy. It keeps your mind healthy too!\\n3-3. Drink enough water.\\nDivide your body weight (in pounds) in half: that’s how many ounces of water you should drink a day. The amount could be more if you live in a hot climate and/or exercise regularly.\\nA 150-pound woman should drink between 75 and 150 ounces of water each day depending on her level of activity and where she lives.\\n3-4. Get enough sleep.\\nStudies have shown that people who are sleep deprived are less attractive than when they have had a restful night’s sleep.\\nIt’s possible to hide a bad night’s sleep with a good concealer. Get one that closely matches your skin type and use it to cover up any dark under-eye circles. Precede it with an eye cream if you need help with puffiness.\\nIf you regularly don’t get enough sleep, consider seeing a doctor to see what the problem may be.\\n3-5. Eat healthfully.\\nEat lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid eating processed and packaged foods, and too much sugar or salt. This will help keep your weight down, your mood stable, and your skin and hair looking good.\\n3-6. Keep your skin healthy.\\nWash your face twice a day with a cleanser made for your skin type (types include normal, combination, oily, and sensitive). Follow this up with a good moisturizer that contains an SPF.\\nWhen you get out of the shower, apply a body moisturizer to keep all of your skin feeling smooth and soft.\\n3-7. Have a great smile\\nSmooth, full lips and straight, white teeth are commonly quoted as being key attractors for men and women. Drink enough water and regularly moisturize your lips to keep them smooth, and regularly brush your teeth.\\nStraight, white teeth are a sign of good genetics and on a primal level attract men.\\nIf you don’t have white teeth, don’t fret! It’s totally normal. If your teeth are healthy but just a bit stained, clean them up with a whitening toothpaste, or consult your doctor about a whitening treatment.\\n3-8. Take good care of your hair.\\nStudies have shown that long, full, shiny hair is most attractive to men as it signifies health and fertility. On average, men rate women with long hair as more attractive than those with short hair, even if they have the same facial features.\\nMore important than tailoring your hair (or anything for that matter) to getting a guy is wearing your hair in a look that complements your facial shape and your personal style. Above all else, you need to feel good about how you look.\\nIf you do want to experiment with longer hair, consider trying clip-in hair extensions, which can be purchased at salons and beauty supply shops. If your hair is very short, you might try a wig instead.\\nAvoid dyeing, straightening, or otherwise over-processing your hair, as frizzy, damaged hair is unattractive.\\n4. Flirting\\n4-1. Hang out in places where you tend to have a lot of fun.\\nThese are the spots where you feel the most carefree, relaxed, and happy, making you look and feel more attractive.\\nYou’ll also be more likely to meet men who share your interests and have fun doing the same things you love.\\nFor example, if you love playing softball, join a co-ed softball team. You’re at your most attractive when you’re relaxed and having fun, so be good at what you do, but don’t take it so seriously that you get angry or mean!\\n4-2. Make eye contact.\\nThis is possibly the most effective flirting technique there is. Making eye contact projects confidence, show's you're interested, and makes people weak in the knees.\\nA common practice is to look into his eyes and then smile briefly before looking away. Do this a few times over 20 minutes or so, and if he’s interested, he’ll likely approach you.\\nIf you’re already talking to him, make eye contact at special points in the conversation, like while you're giving him a compliment. Once in a while, hold his eyes just a little longer than normal to suggest that something deeper is going on.\\nDon't linger for too long, or it could get intense and weird. Keep things subtle in the beginning.\\n4-3. Smile\\nResearch has shown that happy women, particularly smiling ones, are generally more attractive to men. Make sure your smile is sincere, engaging your eyes and not just your mouth, which can come off as looking fake.\\nLaugh if he says something you think is funny, but make sure it's not forced.\\nA very powerful flirtation technique is to smile and make eye contact at the same time.\\nYou can tailor your smile to the occasion — a brief shy smile to get him interested, or maybe a longer mischievous grin once you’re already talking, to let him know you’re interested too.\\n4-4. Start a conversation.\\nYou don't have to wait for him to do the talking. If you're interested in someone, introduce yourself and strike up a friendly conversation so you can get to know each other a bit.\\nBe sure to keep things light-hearted. If you’ve just seen a movie or a concert, talk about that. If you’re sharing a class, ask how he’s enjoying it.\\nAs you converse, see if you can gauge his interest. If he returns eye contact, asks you questions and seems engaged, keep up the conversation and see where things go.\\nIf he doesn't seem interested, don’t push it. Just tell him it was nice to meet him, politely excuse yourself, and start talking with a friend or someone else.\\n4-5. Compliment him.\\nA safe way to show a guy you’re interested and to make him more interested in you is to compliment him. Studies have shown that even insincere compliments can be effective, but it’s best to be sincere in your compliments.\\nIf he looks good in a specific shirt, tell him. If he changes his hair, let him know you’ve noticed and that you like it. Compliments will not only make him feel good; they’ll hint to him that you like him.\\n4-6. Take the conversation to the next level.\\nIf the conversation goes really well, and it seems like he's reciprocating, you can ask for his number. You don't have to wait for him to make the first move.\\nSchedule the date for a few days later so you both have some time to think about it and get ready.\\nIf you're not quite ready to go on the date, you could just get his number or give him yours.\\n4-7. Mirror his body language.\\nDon’t be obvious about it, but do mirror the positions and movements that a man takes when he’s talking to you. Mirroring his actions sends a subconscious message that you like him, and it will make him more likely to like you back.\\nAs an example, if he runs his hand through his hair, wait a minute or two then casually do the same, with your other hand though. Make sure it looks unintentional. You don’t want to seem like a creepy copier (which you kind of are!).\\nTips\\nGross but true: If you’re only looking for a brief romantic encounter based on physical attractiveness, one study has shown that men are more attracted to women who appear to be immature, dumb, or drunk. The opposite is true for men looking for long-term partners, where smarts boost attraction.[35]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nMany men reportedly want a woman they know and trust over someone who may be more traditionally (and thus initially) attractive.[36]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nKeep your phone on silent and in your purse/pocket when you’re on a date. If you're checking messages, looking for funny pictures and Instagram-ming your meal, your date will begin to wonder whether you even want him there.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t become someone you’re not just to get a guy. It’s said so often it might have lost meaning for you, but it’s true: the most important thing you can do to make yourself more attractive is to think you’re attractive. Be confident and know that you’re beautiful inside and out.\\nDon’t expect all men to live up to the stereotype — for example, wanting youthful-looking women with small, hourglass figures and high-pitched voices. The studies that suggest these variables must work on averages, and as a result they cannot accurately tell you what every man will be like.[37]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A lot of people assume that being attractive is all about physical appearance but studies show that your personality is even more important than how you look when it comes to how attractive you are. If you want to be more attractive to men, letting your best personality traits shine is a good place to start. That doesn’t mean your appearance has nothing to do with it though. Evidence shows that men find certain physical qualities more attractive than others, and there are things you can do to highlight your best features so you’re catching more guys’ attention.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"For many people, being confident is easier said than done. Being confident means feeling secure in who you are and what your abilities are. If you're not already confident, there are ways to build your self esteem.\\nAs an example, if you struggle with negative self talk (those voices in your head that tell you you’re a loser, worthless, stupid etc.), work on countering that with positive affirmations such as “I am thoughtful” or “I am a good friend”.\\nWhen you're confident, you don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes, and you don’t talk down to yourself. Confident people are able to celebrate the success of others, without feeling jealous or bad about themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Relax\", \"描述\": \"It can be difficult to enjoy life when your mind is on the past or future. Instead of worrying about what you just said or what might happen next, so enjoy the moment you're in.\\nIf you’re nervous and unsure of what to say, a great way to connect with someone is to ask them questions. In particular, asking someone for advice about something, or encouraging them to talk about themselves, is a great way to get them to like you.\\nIf you are relaxed and focused during your time with others, they will be more likely to enjoy your company and seek it out again.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re talking to a guy you like (or anybody, for that matter), a surefire way to get them to like you (at the very least, as a friend) is to actively listen to them. Active listening involves the following steps:\\nDon’t interrupt or judge the person who is talking.\\nNod your head or give short verbal signs (“yes”, “mm hmm”) that show you acknowledge what the person is saying.\\nParaphrase what they’ve said so that they know you’ve understood.\\nAsk questions to signal you’ve paid attention and are interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest but respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Resist the urge to tell a guy what he wants to hear instead of what you really think. Just be sure to be respectful while you’re voicing your opinion. There’s no need to insult him or his ideas.\\nYou want him to like you for who you are, not for who you think he wants you to be. He might even appreciate that you have your own ideas and the courage to voice them.\\nFor example, if a guy asks what you think of a movie you didn't like, say what you really think instead of pretending you liked it just because you think he liked it. If nothing else, it'll lead to an interesting conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Share your passions and interests.\", \"描述\": \"When people talk about their passions, it's like they come more fully alive. Their excitement can be infectious, making them exciting and fun to be around.\\nWhen you're talking to a guy you're interested in, don't be afraid to reveal a little about what's important to you.\\nDon’t forget to ask questions about his interests, too. This will show him that you’re interested in getting to know him better, and could help him feel closer to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do things that enrich your life.\", \"描述\": \"Volunteer for a cause you believe in; learn a musical instrument; take dance classes; train for a marathon; or join a recreational sports team. Being happy and fulfilled will make you more attractive to men.\\nIn addition, having hobbies will give you more to talk about and more opportunities to bond with your crush, if he shares any of your interests. You might even meet someone through your hobbies.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Show that you care.\", \"描述\": \"Do little things to show him that you’re interested and that you care about him. If you’re at a party, ask him if he needs a drink or some snacks; if you’ve recently talked about a concern of his, check in to see how he’s doing with that concern.\\nStudies have shown that if you’re loving, supportive and stable, people are more likely to consider you as a potential mate, so take opportunities to show that you are all of those things.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be honest about who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Countless romantic comedies are built around someone saying they’re someone they aren’t, and their lie blowing up in their face. Don’t be that someone.\\nIf your ideal night is at home with pizza and Netflix, don’t tell your crush you’re a party animal. It will only be exhausting for you, and sad when you inevitably break up because all he wants to do is party and all you want to do is relax.\\nIf you love math and want to teach, don’t tell your adventure-seeking crush that your dream job is being a snowboarding teacher at a resort.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t change who you are for anyone else.\", \"描述\": \"It can be fun and even healthy to step outside of your comfort zone — for example, by trying new hobbies or being more social — but always make sure that you’re doing it with a firm sense of who you are and what you want in life. Stay true to your beliefs and goals.\\nThe only good reason for changing who you are is if you are unhappy with who you are, and you want to change so that you’re happier with yourself.\\nIf being with a certain guy requires you to be someone completely different, you probably shouldn’t be with him.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Physical Appearance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know that your physical appearance is only a small part of your attractiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that while physical elements play a key role in a man’s initial attraction to a woman, other factors are also important. These include humour, beliefs, and personality.\\nMen generally like women who appear young and healthy — with good skin, youthful facial features, and trim figures — because on a subconscious level they are evaluating them as possible mates.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize your beauty\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't matter what shape you are, what your skin color is, what size you are or how long your hair is: there is beauty in you.\\nStudies show that other people see you as 20% more attractive than you see yourself. Too many women judge themselves harshly instead of seeing their own beauty.\\nMaybe you don't conform to conventional beauty standards, but who are those for, anyway? The beauty standards of today are different from those of the past and will continue to shift through time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find your personal style.\", \"描述\": \"Your style should be an expression of your personality, rather than a copy of someone else's version of what's attractive. Wear things that fit well, suit your body type, and make you feel confident.\\nIf you’re unsure of what your style is, seek inspiration in fashion icons and the people you look up to. It’s okay to experiment with different looks — it doesn’t mean you’re trying to be someone else, it’s about exploring how you express yourself.\\nPlay around with accessories, styles and colors you wouldn't normally choose. If they feel good, wear them out; if they make you feel like you're playing dress-up, keep experimenting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play up your favorite features.\", \"描述\": \"Are there certain features that you really love about yourself? Maybe it's your deep brown eyes, your amazing hair or your pretty chin. Whatever it is, other people are sure to think it's attractive, too.\\nFind ways to make your best features stand out by choosing certain clothes, accessories and makeup that accentuate them.\\nFor example, if you have really pretty dark eyes, wearing gold hoop earrings might draw more attention to them. Or, if you love your long, slender neck, you could wear V-neck tops or get a shoulder-length haircut that draws the eye to your neck.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear makeup\", \"描述\": \"Some studies show that men find women more attractive when they’re wearing makeup. Other studies have shown that men prefer women who wear less makeup (although to be fair, sometimes men think a natural look equates to no makeup).\\nIf you’re not big on makeup but you’d like to try it out, you can start by keeping a natural look and just giving your face a healthy glow. You might top it off with some mascara and a natural-looking lip gloss.\\nUltimately it’s most important to do what feels good to you. If you don’t want to wear makeup, don’t do it.\\nMake sure what you're doing to your face and body is what you want to do, also. Don't change the way you look just because you think a certain guy will like it more that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use makeup to make yourself look younger and healthier.\", \"描述\": \"Much of what attracts men to women is related to a primal instinct wherein their mind views certain features as signalling a better ability to reproduce. Symmetrical, youthful faces signal fertility and health.\\nStudies have shown that men prefer women with childlike faces — big eyes, small noses, full lips, and a small chin. You can use mascara and lip plumper to make your eyes look wide and your lips look full.\\nIf you want to go further, try using some contouring powder to make your face look more youthful and symmetrical.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Play up your lips.\", \"描述\": \"Research has shown that on average, men are more attracted to women’s lips than to any other body part. If you put some lipstick on — especially red lipstick — your lips will be even more attractive to most men.\\nA common belief is that a full, red lip mimics widened blood vessels during arousal, leading men to think about getting intimate.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the pitch of your voice.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that men generally find women with higher-pitched voices more attractive than those with lower-pitched voices.\\nUltimately you need to be yourself. Men will be most attached to a confident woman who is comfortable in her own skin (and voice), but it’s an interesting fact worth knowing. (The study also showed that women prefer men with deeper voices.)\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Give your body an hourglass shape.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that on average, men are most attracted to hourglass figures — a small waist and larger hips, which suggest health and fertility. The hourglass shape is the most rare body type, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t naturally have it.\\nYou can achieve an hourglass shape through exercises that build your bum and hips, and tighten your waist; certain styles of clothing; and/or by using a waist cincher, which is also known as waist training.\\nNote that in some countries, a larger, rounder flame is considered more attractive as it signifies access to food and money.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Hang out with other girls.\", \"描述\": \"When you hang out with a group of girls, men will generally see individual group members as being more attractive than they actually are.\\nIt may seem counterintuitive, as you may feel like hanging out with girls who are prettier than you will make you seem uglier, but it’s the opposite — you’ll all look more attractive.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wellbeing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This is related to being confident. You may be striving to attract a man, but what will help you do that most is to become attractive in your own eyes. Take good care of yourself: eat well, exercise, sleep enough. And don’t beat yourself up if you have an off day or don’t look like a supermodel.\\nIf you’re trying to attract a man you’ll likely read all sorts of article that tell you what men like, and it will often be things that you don’t have.\\nResearch has proven that personality is more important than physical appearance, which is why it's so important to be happy and comfortable in your own skin.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Advice varies depending on what you read, but on average, if you’re trying to stay in shape, you should aim to be active at least 30 minutes a day, every day. This could be something as simple as going for a walk or doing three 10-minute bursts of exercise throughout the day.\\nExercising does more than keep your body healthy. It keeps your mind healthy too!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Drink enough water.\", \"描述\": \"Divide your body weight (in pounds) in half: that’s how many ounces of water you should drink a day. The amount could be more if you live in a hot climate and/or exercise regularly.\\nA 150-pound woman should drink between 75 and 150 ounces of water each day depending on her level of activity and where she lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that people who are sleep deprived are less attractive than when they have had a restful night’s sleep.\\nIt’s possible to hide a bad night’s sleep with a good concealer. Get one that closely matches your skin type and use it to cover up any dark under-eye circles. Precede it with an eye cream if you need help with puffiness.\\nIf you regularly don’t get enough sleep, consider seeing a doctor to see what the problem may be.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eat healthfully.\", \"描述\": \"Eat lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid eating processed and packaged foods, and too much sugar or salt. This will help keep your weight down, your mood stable, and your skin and hair looking good.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your skin healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Wash your face twice a day with a cleanser made for your skin type (types include normal, combination, oily, and sensitive). Follow this up with a good moisturizer that contains an SPF.\\nWhen you get out of the shower, apply a body moisturizer to keep all of your skin feeling smooth and soft.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have a great smile\", \"描述\": \"Smooth, full lips and straight, white teeth are commonly quoted as being key attractors for men and women. Drink enough water and regularly moisturize your lips to keep them smooth, and regularly brush your teeth.\\nStraight, white teeth are a sign of good genetics and on a primal level attract men.\\nIf you don’t have white teeth, don’t fret! It’s totally normal. If your teeth are healthy but just a bit stained, clean them up with a whitening toothpaste, or consult your doctor about a whitening treatment.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take good care of your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that long, full, shiny hair is most attractive to men as it signifies health and fertility. On average, men rate women with long hair as more attractive than those with short hair, even if they have the same facial features.\\nMore important than tailoring your hair (or anything for that matter) to getting a guy is wearing your hair in a look that complements your facial shape and your personal style. Above all else, you need to feel good about how you look.\\nIf you do want to experiment with longer hair, consider trying clip-in hair extensions, which can be purchased at salons and beauty supply shops. If your hair is very short, you might try a wig instead.\\nAvoid dyeing, straightening, or otherwise over-processing your hair, as frizzy, damaged hair is unattractive.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hang out in places where you tend to have a lot of fun.\", \"描述\": \"These are the spots where you feel the most carefree, relaxed, and happy, making you look and feel more attractive.\\nYou’ll also be more likely to meet men who share your interests and have fun doing the same things you love.\\nFor example, if you love playing softball, join a co-ed softball team. You’re at your most attractive when you’re relaxed and having fun, so be good at what you do, but don’t take it so seriously that you get angry or mean!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"This is possibly the most effective flirting technique there is. Making eye contact projects confidence, show's you're interested, and makes people weak in the knees.\\nA common practice is to look into his eyes and then smile briefly before looking away. Do this a few times over 20 minutes or so, and if he’s interested, he’ll likely approach you.\\nIf you’re already talking to him, make eye contact at special points in the conversation, like while you're giving him a compliment. Once in a while, hold his eyes just a little longer than normal to suggest that something deeper is going on.\\nDon't linger for too long, or it could get intense and weird. Keep things subtle in the beginning.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Smile\", \"描述\": \"Research has shown that happy women, particularly smiling ones, are generally more attractive to men. Make sure your smile is sincere, engaging your eyes and not just your mouth, which can come off as looking fake.\\nLaugh if he says something you think is funny, but make sure it's not forced.\\nA very powerful flirtation technique is to smile and make eye contact at the same time.\\nYou can tailor your smile to the occasion — a brief shy smile to get him interested, or maybe a longer mischievous grin once you’re already talking, to let him know you’re interested too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to wait for him to do the talking. If you're interested in someone, introduce yourself and strike up a friendly conversation so you can get to know each other a bit.\\nBe sure to keep things light-hearted. If you’ve just seen a movie or a concert, talk about that. If you’re sharing a class, ask how he’s enjoying it.\\nAs you converse, see if you can gauge his interest. If he returns eye contact, asks you questions and seems engaged, keep up the conversation and see where things go.\\nIf he doesn't seem interested, don’t push it. Just tell him it was nice to meet him, politely excuse yourself, and start talking with a friend or someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Compliment him.\", \"描述\": \"A safe way to show a guy you’re interested and to make him more interested in you is to compliment him. Studies have shown that even insincere compliments can be effective, but it’s best to be sincere in your compliments.\\nIf he looks good in a specific shirt, tell him. If he changes his hair, let him know you’ve noticed and that you like it. Compliments will not only make him feel good; they’ll hint to him that you like him.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take the conversation to the next level.\", \"描述\": \"If the conversation goes really well, and it seems like he's reciprocating, you can ask for his number. You don't have to wait for him to make the first move.\\nSchedule the date for a few days later so you both have some time to think about it and get ready.\\nIf you're not quite ready to go on the date, you could just get his number or give him yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Mirror his body language.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be obvious about it, but do mirror the positions and movements that a man takes when he’s talking to you. Mirroring his actions sends a subconscious message that you like him, and it will make him more likely to like you back.\\nAs an example, if he runs his hand through his hair, wait a minute or two then casually do the same, with your other hand though. Make sure it looks unintentional. You don’t want to seem like a creepy copier (which you kind of are!).\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Gross but true: If you’re only looking for a brief romantic encounter based on physical attractiveness, one study has shown that men are more attracted to women who appear to be immature, dumb, or drunk. The opposite is true for men looking for long-term partners, where smarts boost attraction.[35]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Many men reportedly want a woman they know and trust over someone who may be more traditionally (and thus initially) attractive.[36]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Keep your phone on silent and in your purse/pocket when you’re on a date. If you're checking messages, looking for funny pictures and Instagram-ming your meal, your date will begin to wonder whether you even want him there.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t become someone you’re not just to get a guy. It’s said so often it might have lost meaning for you, but it’s true: the most important thing you can do to make yourself more attractive is to think you’re attractive. Be confident and know that you’re beautiful inside and out.\\n\", \"Don’t expect all men to live up to the stereotype — for example, wanting youthful-looking women with small, hourglass figures and high-pitched voices. The studies that suggest these variables must work on averages, and as a result they cannot accurately tell you what every man will be like.[37]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,935 | How to Be More Attractive to Someone at Work | 1. Grooming Yourself to Be More Attractive
1-1. Dress in attractive, work-appropriate clothing.
Attend carefully to how you dress. How you look plays a big part in attracting the attention and admiration of folks in the office. Go for office chic and classics (tasteful suit and tie for a man, modest dress or skirt and blouse for a woman), while steering clear of outfits you might wear for clubbing or a bar night out with friends.
If you have to wear a uniform at work, consider dressing it up with accessories or sharp shoes. If that's not allowed, always aim for impeccable grooming.
Select designs that accentuate your shape, while still having a professional, business flair. If you wear scrubs or a specific uniform for work, the best way you can ensure you look good is to have it tailored to fit your shape. Otherwise, choose outfits that compliment your body type. Avoid wearing low cut tops or outfits that are too tight.
Avoid showing too much skin. While showing some cleavage or your bulging biceps at the bar may be the usual socializing way to attract someone you're interested in, doing so at the office is a no-no and may earn you an unwanted reputation. Refer to your common sense (and your employee handbook) to ensure you remain within corporate dress code, while accentuating your best features. Check out others around you if you're not sure where the line is drawn.
Regardless of your gender, wear red, even if it’s just a trim of red, or a red shirt with white blouse or dark suit. Both sexes are more attracted to potential mates wearing red than those in wearing other colors.
1-2. Fashion your hair.
Men could consider getting a pompadour or Freeman’s cut. The Freeman’s cut leaves several inches on top while keeping it close, possibly fading up, on the sides. The pompadour evokes a classic, effortless cool like that of James Dean, with a longer, textured top and tapered sides. Don’t try to perfect your hair; a little messiness is masculine and sexy.
Women can wear any number of styles -- short, long, curly, straight -- but to attract a coworker, the important thing is to keep it looking nice.
Hair which is greasy, too loaded with hairspray or product, or dyed unnatural colors tends to turn men off.
Wash and condition your hair every couple days (washing every day can strip essential oils from your scalp).
If you want to dye your hair, stick with red, black, blonde, or brown.
1-3. Utilize a light mist of cologne or perfume.
Don’t bathe yourself in the stuff, but utilize it to enhance and compliment your natural scent. Women, especially, tend to use scent in order to determine whether a partner is compatible with them.
1-4. Keep your facial elements symmetrical.
Shave evenly on both sides of your face to ensure your facial hair is balanced. Alternately, when growing a beard or mustache, make sure it comes in evenly. Women might interpret patchy facial hair on an unconscious biological level as indicative of a man in poor health. Women should apply makeup carefully in order to achieve a balanced skin tone.
The one exception is your haircut: it’s okay to have an asymmetrical part, but don’t give yourself a dramatic comb-over.
Both men and women should think about tweezing their eyebrows. Bushy, uneven brows are not attractive.
1-5. Eat a healthy diet.
A diet full of whole grains, fruits, and vegetables will give your skin a healthy glow. Produce is loaded with antioxidants and natural pigments which add a rosy hue to your cheeks. Eat about two cups of fruit and three cups of veggies each day in order to meet the recommended daily allotment.
1-6. Get in shape.
Visit the gym to work out more. Do both cardiovascular exercises (like running and biking) and strength training (like lifting weights or doing squats). Becoming trim and fit is an easy way to make yourself more attractive. Even when you’re in a job where you can’t show off your six-pack abs or chiseled calves, people will notice when you’ve lost weight and gained energy.
Work on improving your posture to help you seem more attractive.
1-7. Change your facial expression.
The level of attraction men and women possess varies with different facial expressions. Women appear more attractive to potential mates when they smile more. Men, on the other hand, appear more attractive to women when they look brooding, proud, and powerful. Place your hands on your hips when standing, walk with pride, and make eye contact with people. Pound your fist on the table to make a point when addressing people.
To look more brooding, furrow your brow. Imagine you’re slightly worried about something. Don’t frown, but don’t smile either. Keep your mouth in a straight, tight line.
To look more powerful, you could also practice power poses. Stand, don’t sit, were possible. Lean forward on the table with both arms splayed out in a “V” when addressing someone. Do not cross your arms or sit with your hands in your lap. Both men and women benefit from using open body language like uncrossing your arms and standing upright. Try using open body language to boost your sex appeal. While seated, gay men and straight women might employ the face platter -- a pose in which the hands are placed over each other and then under the chin, with the elbows resting on the table.
Gay men should also try smiling or laughing more often to attract members of the same sex.
2. Changing Your Attitude at Work in Order to Be More Attractive
2-1. Decide why you want to become more attractive to someone at work.
Do you want to get a raise or promotion? Do you want to persuade your coworkers to support one of your pet projects? Or do you simply want to date someone you work with? All these things are easier when people find you attractive.
Dating a coworker can be messy. If this is your goal, carefully consider the repercussions if the relationship were to go south: you might get fired, transferred, reassigned, or just have to endure an unpleasant work environment where you face your ex every day.
2-2. Stay focused on your special someone.
Don’t try to become more attractive to everyone at work. Do not date multiple people in your workplace or you may get a bad reputation. Dress and tailor your appearance to appeal to the individual whose affections you seek.
Find out what the person whose interest you’re trying to attract is into. What makes them laugh? What impresses them? What music do they like to listen to? Having a common interest with someone will make you more attractive in their eyes.
2-3. Show interest with body language.
Certain physical positions can nonverbally express that you’re available and interested in someone. When you show you’re interested, the person you want to appear more attractive to will see it as a green light and if they’re interested too, they will reciprocate. Laugh loudly or spread your arms out if you’re a man. If you’re a woman, make eye contact, look down for a bit and gather or comb your hair. Then, look up at the person you want to attract without bringing your chin up.
2-4. Show an interest in your coworkers.
Be friendly without coming on too strong. There’s a fine line between acting interested in your coworker's life and being potentially invasive. Be approachable and act interested in all of your coworkers, but don’t go overboard with personal comments or questions.
Ask very open-ended questions (“How are you?”, “What are you working on these days?”) about your co-worker's personal and working life and let them give you the cue as to how much information they're willing to share.
Remember people’s names and their life details. People tend to find you more attractive when you continue to call them by name and if you demonstrate that you actually know something personal about them. For example, you could say, “Hi Bob, how was your mom’s 75th birthday party last weekend?” Remembering these specifics shows that you care, which definitely makes you attractive to others.
Spend time establishing your ability to be confidential. Once they know you're a good listener, they'll find you more attractive.
Don't support office gossip or undermining talk. Let others know that you won't be drawn into gossip or casting aspersions on others in the workplace.
2-5. Be helpful.
Be willing to help a coworker in need without looking for something in return. Be generous with your time and earn the reputation that you're the kind of person who is helpful without being conditional. Assisting others with no hope of reward is the kind of quality which attracts others.
2-6. Compliment your coworker.
Praise their work in public and private. “Great job on that report” is a kind comment which will make them feel good. You can also, within reason, praise a coworker’s appearance. “That’s a nice tie” is an acceptable compliment which could attract your coworker. “Your butt looks great in those pants” is an inappropriate comment which constitutes sexual harassment.
2-7. Share responsibility with your coworker.
Consult coworkers for their insight and solicit their participation in projects or even a personal dilemma, depending on the extent of trust within your relationship. During a group project, turn to a coworker and ask what he/she thinks about a certain statistic or idea. Bringing people together and getting involved can be pretty sexy, especially when individuals feel that you have personally made an effort to help their talents shine in front of others.
2-8. Treat trusted and admired coworkers as friends.
Make yourself more attractive to others in the office by forming more personal relationships with those coworkers you feel a connection with.
Plan outings, dinners, and events with your coworkers so you grow closer with them.
Be as inclusive as possible of other coworkers you're less inclined to want to spend outside-of-work time with. Have a chat at the water cooler, find out about their pets or children, and ask after them regularly. In other words, spread your charm around.
2-9. Impress your coworkers with your hard work.
What's more appealing in a workplace setting than a brainy individual? A brainy individual who does what he or she sets out to do! Demonstrate your powerhouse intellect while working on a collaborative project or presentation, in a way that bolsters everyone's participation and leaves nobody out. Always be subtle, and don’t brag.
Be a dependable, stand-out employee––someone that every coworker (and boss) knows will get the job done above and beyond expectations.
Be that “go to” person that everyone knows is the best man or woman for the job. More than being just someone to "go to", be a willing guide, teacher or mentor to others. When everyone knows you're willing to both listen and give useful advice, you'll attract positive attention.
3. Becoming More Attractive By Adjusting Your Personality
3-1. Be a happy, positive person.
People generally gravitate toward positive, engaging personalities and dislike grumpy, standoffish folks. People are more attracted to individuals who seem to laugh and smile more often. Take time to appreciate the little things at work and when you see coworkers in the morning, make eye contact, smile and greet them by name. Praise the good things they do.
When you encounter difficulties, try not to let them get you down. Think of them as opportunities to help you grow through challenging yourself to rise above adversity.
Don’t worry about problems at work or at home; have confidence you’ll solve them when they need to be solved.
Don’t dwell on workplace mistakes. Instead, celebrate your successes and those of others.
At office parties, seek to be the life of such a party without becoming the butt of office jokes. Avoid getting hammered and doing something extremely embarrassing (which would definitely take you off the running list of being the attractive person in the office). Instead, maintain a clear head and approach parties as networking opportunities and as a chance to make your awesomeness even more evident.
3-2. Be comfortable in your own skin.
Confidence shows in the way you carry and present yourself at work. Don’t boast about how great you are––instead, walk with pride, make eye contact and smile.
Maintain good posture at all times. How you carry yourself sends a clear message to those around you. Standing and sitting tall and walking confidently but with ease will let people know that you have self-respect and personal dignity, qualities which are supremely attractive.
3-3. Be courageous.
If you want to have an attractive personality, be courageous at work. Make decisions that you stand by because you believe in their worth, even when others do not. Share your vision for project outcomes even when others are groaning that it's not possible. Having the confidence and courage to voice positivity and take chances others won’t can make you very appealing.
Avoid being arrogant or aloof. Instead, be humbly confident in your skills and aptitude. Although you should already be competent and able in your current role, make every effort to avoid coming across as conceited about what you do. There’s a fine line between letting your smarts shine and being a braggart. Avoid “tooting your own horn” or pointing out that you think you're smarter or more capable than another coworker.
Tips
Be willing to let your true personality shine––a person who is comfortable in his or her own skin will always attract the interest of others.
Self-composure is always more attractive than being angry, aggressive or intimidating. In the workplace, this is even more marked as people gravitate to a calm and composed person who can be relied on to think clearly under pressure. Be that composed and calm person, even if it means practicing over and over again until this becomes second nature to you. Meditation, practicing mindfulness, getting therapy and being active are some ways to overcome negative feelings that might otherwise derail your determination to remain composed.
Warnings
There’s no room for taking clothing or behavior to the extreme in order to be the attractive person in the office. Grace and class trumps cheap attempts when trying to be more attractive.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:19",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Grooming Yourself to Be More Attractive\\n1-1. Dress in attractive, work-appropriate clothing.\\nAttend carefully to how you dress. How you look plays a big part in attracting the attention and admiration of folks in the office. Go for office chic and classics (tasteful suit and tie for a man, modest dress or skirt and blouse for a woman), while steering clear of outfits you might wear for clubbing or a bar night out with friends.\\nIf you have to wear a uniform at work, consider dressing it up with accessories or sharp shoes. If that's not allowed, always aim for impeccable grooming.\\nSelect designs that accentuate your shape, while still having a professional, business flair. If you wear scrubs or a specific uniform for work, the best way you can ensure you look good is to have it tailored to fit your shape. Otherwise, choose outfits that compliment your body type. Avoid wearing low cut tops or outfits that are too tight.\\nAvoid showing too much skin. While showing some cleavage or your bulging biceps at the bar may be the usual socializing way to attract someone you're interested in, doing so at the office is a no-no and may earn you an unwanted reputation. Refer to your common sense (and your employee handbook) to ensure you remain within corporate dress code, while accentuating your best features. Check out others around you if you're not sure where the line is drawn.\\nRegardless of your gender, wear red, even if it’s just a trim of red, or a red shirt with white blouse or dark suit. Both sexes are more attracted to potential mates wearing red than those in wearing other colors.\\n1-2. Fashion your hair.\\nMen could consider getting a pompadour or Freeman’s cut. The Freeman’s cut leaves several inches on top while keeping it close, possibly fading up, on the sides. The pompadour evokes a classic, effortless cool like that of James Dean, with a longer, textured top and tapered sides. Don’t try to perfect your hair; a little messiness is masculine and sexy.\\nWomen can wear any number of styles -- short, long, curly, straight -- but to attract a coworker, the important thing is to keep it looking nice.\\nHair which is greasy, too loaded with hairspray or product, or dyed unnatural colors tends to turn men off.\\nWash and condition your hair every couple days (washing every day can strip essential oils from your scalp).\\nIf you want to dye your hair, stick with red, black, blonde, or brown.\\n1-3. Utilize a light mist of cologne or perfume.\\nDon’t bathe yourself in the stuff, but utilize it to enhance and compliment your natural scent. Women, especially, tend to use scent in order to determine whether a partner is compatible with them.\\n1-4. Keep your facial elements symmetrical.\\nShave evenly on both sides of your face to ensure your facial hair is balanced. Alternately, when growing a beard or mustache, make sure it comes in evenly. Women might interpret patchy facial hair on an unconscious biological level as indicative of a man in poor health. Women should apply makeup carefully in order to achieve a balanced skin tone.\\nThe one exception is your haircut: it’s okay to have an asymmetrical part, but don’t give yourself a dramatic comb-over.\\nBoth men and women should think about tweezing their eyebrows. Bushy, uneven brows are not attractive.\\n1-5. Eat a healthy diet.\\nA diet full of whole grains, fruits, and vegetables will give your skin a healthy glow. Produce is loaded with antioxidants and natural pigments which add a rosy hue to your cheeks. Eat about two cups of fruit and three cups of veggies each day in order to meet the recommended daily allotment.\\n1-6. Get in shape.\\nVisit the gym to work out more. Do both cardiovascular exercises (like running and biking) and strength training (like lifting weights or doing squats). Becoming trim and fit is an easy way to make yourself more attractive. Even when you’re in a job where you can’t show off your six-pack abs or chiseled calves, people will notice when you’ve lost weight and gained energy.\\nWork on improving your posture to help you seem more attractive.\\n1-7. Change your facial expression.\\nThe level of attraction men and women possess varies with different facial expressions. Women appear more attractive to potential mates when they smile more. Men, on the other hand, appear more attractive to women when they look brooding, proud, and powerful. Place your hands on your hips when standing, walk with pride, and make eye contact with people. Pound your fist on the table to make a point when addressing people.\\nTo look more brooding, furrow your brow. Imagine you’re slightly worried about something. Don’t frown, but don’t smile either. Keep your mouth in a straight, tight line.\\nTo look more powerful, you could also practice power poses. Stand, don’t sit, were possible. Lean forward on the table with both arms splayed out in a “V” when addressing someone. Do not cross your arms or sit with your hands in your lap. Both men and women benefit from using open body language like uncrossing your arms and standing upright. Try using open body language to boost your sex appeal. While seated, gay men and straight women might employ the face platter -- a pose in which the hands are placed over each other and then under the chin, with the elbows resting on the table.\\nGay men should also try smiling or laughing more often to attract members of the same sex.\\n2. Changing Your Attitude at Work in Order to Be More Attractive\\n2-1. Decide why you want to become more attractive to someone at work.\\nDo you want to get a raise or promotion? Do you want to persuade your coworkers to support one of your pet projects? Or do you simply want to date someone you work with? All these things are easier when people find you attractive.\\nDating a coworker can be messy. If this is your goal, carefully consider the repercussions if the relationship were to go south: you might get fired, transferred, reassigned, or just have to endure an unpleasant work environment where you face your ex every day.\\n2-2. Stay focused on your special someone.\\nDon’t try to become more attractive to everyone at work. Do not date multiple people in your workplace or you may get a bad reputation. Dress and tailor your appearance to appeal to the individual whose affections you seek.\\nFind out what the person whose interest you’re trying to attract is into. What makes them laugh? What impresses them? What music do they like to listen to? Having a common interest with someone will make you more attractive in their eyes.\\n2-3. Show interest with body language.\\nCertain physical positions can nonverbally express that you’re available and interested in someone. When you show you’re interested, the person you want to appear more attractive to will see it as a green light and if they’re interested too, they will reciprocate. Laugh loudly or spread your arms out if you’re a man. If you’re a woman, make eye contact, look down for a bit and gather or comb your hair. Then, look up at the person you want to attract without bringing your chin up.\\n2-4. Show an interest in your coworkers.\\nBe friendly without coming on too strong. There’s a fine line between acting interested in your coworker's life and being potentially invasive. Be approachable and act interested in all of your coworkers, but don’t go overboard with personal comments or questions.\\nAsk very open-ended questions (“How are you?”, “What are you working on these days?”) about your co-worker's personal and working life and let them give you the cue as to how much information they're willing to share.\\nRemember people’s names and their life details. People tend to find you more attractive when you continue to call them by name and if you demonstrate that you actually know something personal about them. For example, you could say, “Hi Bob, how was your mom’s 75th birthday party last weekend?” Remembering these specifics shows that you care, which definitely makes you attractive to others.\\nSpend time establishing your ability to be confidential. Once they know you're a good listener, they'll find you more attractive.\\nDon't support office gossip or undermining talk. Let others know that you won't be drawn into gossip or casting aspersions on others in the workplace.\\n2-5. Be helpful.\\nBe willing to help a coworker in need without looking for something in return. Be generous with your time and earn the reputation that you're the kind of person who is helpful without being conditional. Assisting others with no hope of reward is the kind of quality which attracts others.\\n2-6. Compliment your coworker.\\nPraise their work in public and private. “Great job on that report” is a kind comment which will make them feel good. You can also, within reason, praise a coworker’s appearance. “That’s a nice tie” is an acceptable compliment which could attract your coworker. “Your butt looks great in those pants” is an inappropriate comment which constitutes sexual harassment.\\n2-7. Share responsibility with your coworker.\\nConsult coworkers for their insight and solicit their participation in projects or even a personal dilemma, depending on the extent of trust within your relationship. During a group project, turn to a coworker and ask what he/she thinks about a certain statistic or idea. Bringing people together and getting involved can be pretty sexy, especially when individuals feel that you have personally made an effort to help their talents shine in front of others.\\n2-8. Treat trusted and admired coworkers as friends.\\nMake yourself more attractive to others in the office by forming more personal relationships with those coworkers you feel a connection with.\\nPlan outings, dinners, and events with your coworkers so you grow closer with them.\\nBe as inclusive as possible of other coworkers you're less inclined to want to spend outside-of-work time with. Have a chat at the water cooler, find out about their pets or children, and ask after them regularly. In other words, spread your charm around.\\n2-9. Impress your coworkers with your hard work.\\nWhat's more appealing in a workplace setting than a brainy individual? A brainy individual who does what he or she sets out to do! Demonstrate your powerhouse intellect while working on a collaborative project or presentation, in a way that bolsters everyone's participation and leaves nobody out. Always be subtle, and don’t brag.\\nBe a dependable, stand-out employee––someone that every coworker (and boss) knows will get the job done above and beyond expectations.\\nBe that “go to” person that everyone knows is the best man or woman for the job. More than being just someone to \\\"go to\\\", be a willing guide, teacher or mentor to others. When everyone knows you're willing to both listen and give useful advice, you'll attract positive attention.\\n3. Becoming More Attractive By Adjusting Your Personality\\n3-1. Be a happy, positive person.\\nPeople generally gravitate toward positive, engaging personalities and dislike grumpy, standoffish folks. People are more attracted to individuals who seem to laugh and smile more often. Take time to appreciate the little things at work and when you see coworkers in the morning, make eye contact, smile and greet them by name. Praise the good things they do.\\nWhen you encounter difficulties, try not to let them get you down. Think of them as opportunities to help you grow through challenging yourself to rise above adversity.\\nDon’t worry about problems at work or at home; have confidence you’ll solve them when they need to be solved.\\nDon’t dwell on workplace mistakes. Instead, celebrate your successes and those of others.\\nAt office parties, seek to be the life of such a party without becoming the butt of office jokes. Avoid getting hammered and doing something extremely embarrassing (which would definitely take you off the running list of being the attractive person in the office). Instead, maintain a clear head and approach parties as networking opportunities and as a chance to make your awesomeness even more evident.\\n3-2. Be comfortable in your own skin.\\nConfidence shows in the way you carry and present yourself at work. Don’t boast about how great you are––instead, walk with pride, make eye contact and smile.\\nMaintain good posture at all times. How you carry yourself sends a clear message to those around you. Standing and sitting tall and walking confidently but with ease will let people know that you have self-respect and personal dignity, qualities which are supremely attractive.\\n3-3. Be courageous.\\nIf you want to have an attractive personality, be courageous at work. Make decisions that you stand by because you believe in their worth, even when others do not. Share your vision for project outcomes even when others are groaning that it's not possible. Having the confidence and courage to voice positivity and take chances others won’t can make you very appealing.\\nAvoid being arrogant or aloof. Instead, be humbly confident in your skills and aptitude. Although you should already be competent and able in your current role, make every effort to avoid coming across as conceited about what you do. There’s a fine line between letting your smarts shine and being a braggart. Avoid “tooting your own horn” or pointing out that you think you're smarter or more capable than another coworker.\\nTips\\nBe willing to let your true personality shine––a person who is comfortable in his or her own skin will always attract the interest of others.\\nSelf-composure is always more attractive than being angry, aggressive or intimidating. In the workplace, this is even more marked as people gravitate to a calm and composed person who can be relied on to think clearly under pressure. Be that composed and calm person, even if it means practicing over and over again until this becomes second nature to you. Meditation, practicing mindfulness, getting therapy and being active are some ways to overcome negative feelings that might otherwise derail your determination to remain composed.\\nWarnings\\nThere’s no room for taking clothing or behavior to the extreme in order to be the attractive person in the office. Grace and class trumps cheap attempts when trying to be more attractive.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Becoming attractive to someone at work is definitely worth the effort. Everyone appreciates beauty in their lives, so do your part to make the world more beautiful by becoming more attractive. Dressing well and eating right are just one part of the equation. You’ll also want to adjust your attitude by being more positive and confident. Whether your efforts are directed at a coworker you're romantically inclined toward, or you're just seeking to become more pleasant generally, becoming more attractive and charming at work will make you feel good.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Grooming Yourself to Be More Attractive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress in attractive, work-appropriate clothing.\", \"描述\": \"Attend carefully to how you dress. How you look plays a big part in attracting the attention and admiration of folks in the office. Go for office chic and classics (tasteful suit and tie for a man, modest dress or skirt and blouse for a woman), while steering clear of outfits you might wear for clubbing or a bar night out with friends.\\nIf you have to wear a uniform at work, consider dressing it up with accessories or sharp shoes. If that's not allowed, always aim for impeccable grooming.\\nSelect designs that accentuate your shape, while still having a professional, business flair. If you wear scrubs or a specific uniform for work, the best way you can ensure you look good is to have it tailored to fit your shape. Otherwise, choose outfits that compliment your body type. Avoid wearing low cut tops or outfits that are too tight.\\nAvoid showing too much skin. While showing some cleavage or your bulging biceps at the bar may be the usual socializing way to attract someone you're interested in, doing so at the office is a no-no and may earn you an unwanted reputation. Refer to your common sense (and your employee handbook) to ensure you remain within corporate dress code, while accentuating your best features. Check out others around you if you're not sure where the line is drawn.\\nRegardless of your gender, wear red, even if it’s just a trim of red, or a red shirt with white blouse or dark suit. Both sexes are more attracted to potential mates wearing red than those in wearing other colors.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fashion your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Men could consider getting a pompadour or Freeman’s cut. The Freeman’s cut leaves several inches on top while keeping it close, possibly fading up, on the sides. The pompadour evokes a classic, effortless cool like that of James Dean, with a longer, textured top and tapered sides. Don’t try to perfect your hair; a little messiness is masculine and sexy.\\nWomen can wear any number of styles -- short, long, curly, straight -- but to attract a coworker, the important thing is to keep it looking nice.\\nHair which is greasy, too loaded with hairspray or product, or dyed unnatural colors tends to turn men off.\\nWash and condition your hair every couple days (washing every day can strip essential oils from your scalp).\\nIf you want to dye your hair, stick with red, black, blonde, or brown.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Utilize a light mist of cologne or perfume.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t bathe yourself in the stuff, but utilize it to enhance and compliment your natural scent. Women, especially, tend to use scent in order to determine whether a partner is compatible with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your facial elements symmetrical.\", \"描述\": \"Shave evenly on both sides of your face to ensure your facial hair is balanced. Alternately, when growing a beard or mustache, make sure it comes in evenly. Women might interpret patchy facial hair on an unconscious biological level as indicative of a man in poor health. Women should apply makeup carefully in order to achieve a balanced skin tone.\\nThe one exception is your haircut: it’s okay to have an asymmetrical part, but don’t give yourself a dramatic comb-over.\\nBoth men and women should think about tweezing their eyebrows. Bushy, uneven brows are not attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet.\", \"描述\": \"A diet full of whole grains, fruits, and vegetables will give your skin a healthy glow. Produce is loaded with antioxidants and natural pigments which add a rosy hue to your cheeks. Eat about two cups of fruit and three cups of veggies each day in order to meet the recommended daily allotment.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get in shape.\", \"描述\": \"Visit the gym to work out more. Do both cardiovascular exercises (like running and biking) and strength training (like lifting weights or doing squats). Becoming trim and fit is an easy way to make yourself more attractive. Even when you’re in a job where you can’t show off your six-pack abs or chiseled calves, people will notice when you’ve lost weight and gained energy.\\nWork on improving your posture to help you seem more attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Change your facial expression.\", \"描述\": \"The level of attraction men and women possess varies with different facial expressions. Women appear more attractive to potential mates when they smile more. Men, on the other hand, appear more attractive to women when they look brooding, proud, and powerful. Place your hands on your hips when standing, walk with pride, and make eye contact with people. Pound your fist on the table to make a point when addressing people.\\nTo look more brooding, furrow your brow. Imagine you’re slightly worried about something. Don’t frown, but don’t smile either. Keep your mouth in a straight, tight line.\\nTo look more powerful, you could also practice power poses. Stand, don’t sit, were possible. Lean forward on the table with both arms splayed out in a “V” when addressing someone. Do not cross your arms or sit with your hands in your lap. Both men and women benefit from using open body language like uncrossing your arms and standing upright. Try using open body language to boost your sex appeal. While seated, gay men and straight women might employ the face platter -- a pose in which the hands are placed over each other and then under the chin, with the elbows resting on the table.\\nGay men should also try smiling or laughing more often to attract members of the same sex.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Attitude at Work in Order to Be More Attractive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide why you want to become more attractive to someone at work.\", \"描述\": \"Do you want to get a raise or promotion? Do you want to persuade your coworkers to support one of your pet projects? Or do you simply want to date someone you work with? All these things are easier when people find you attractive.\\nDating a coworker can be messy. If this is your goal, carefully consider the repercussions if the relationship were to go south: you might get fired, transferred, reassigned, or just have to endure an unpleasant work environment where you face your ex every day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay focused on your special someone.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to become more attractive to everyone at work. Do not date multiple people in your workplace or you may get a bad reputation. Dress and tailor your appearance to appeal to the individual whose affections you seek.\\nFind out what the person whose interest you’re trying to attract is into. What makes them laugh? What impresses them? What music do they like to listen to? Having a common interest with someone will make you more attractive in their eyes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show interest with body language.\", \"描述\": \"Certain physical positions can nonverbally express that you’re available and interested in someone. When you show you’re interested, the person you want to appear more attractive to will see it as a green light and if they’re interested too, they will reciprocate. Laugh loudly or spread your arms out if you’re a man. If you’re a woman, make eye contact, look down for a bit and gather or comb your hair. Then, look up at the person you want to attract without bringing your chin up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show an interest in your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Be friendly without coming on too strong. There’s a fine line between acting interested in your coworker's life and being potentially invasive. Be approachable and act interested in all of your coworkers, but don’t go overboard with personal comments or questions.\\nAsk very open-ended questions (“How are you?”, “What are you working on these days?”) about your co-worker's personal and working life and let them give you the cue as to how much information they're willing to share.\\nRemember people’s names and their life details. People tend to find you more attractive when you continue to call them by name and if you demonstrate that you actually know something personal about them. For example, you could say, “Hi Bob, how was your mom’s 75th birthday party last weekend?” Remembering these specifics shows that you care, which definitely makes you attractive to others.\\nSpend time establishing your ability to be confidential. Once they know you're a good listener, they'll find you more attractive.\\nDon't support office gossip or undermining talk. Let others know that you won't be drawn into gossip or casting aspersions on others in the workplace.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be helpful.\", \"描述\": \"Be willing to help a coworker in need without looking for something in return. Be generous with your time and earn the reputation that you're the kind of person who is helpful without being conditional. Assisting others with no hope of reward is the kind of quality which attracts others.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Compliment your coworker.\", \"描述\": \"Praise their work in public and private. “Great job on that report” is a kind comment which will make them feel good. You can also, within reason, praise a coworker’s appearance. “That’s a nice tie” is an acceptable compliment which could attract your coworker. “Your butt looks great in those pants” is an inappropriate comment which constitutes sexual harassment.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Share responsibility with your coworker.\", \"描述\": \"Consult coworkers for their insight and solicit their participation in projects or even a personal dilemma, depending on the extent of trust within your relationship. During a group project, turn to a coworker and ask what he/she thinks about a certain statistic or idea. Bringing people together and getting involved can be pretty sexy, especially when individuals feel that you have personally made an effort to help their talents shine in front of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Treat trusted and admired coworkers as friends.\", \"描述\": \"Make yourself more attractive to others in the office by forming more personal relationships with those coworkers you feel a connection with.\\nPlan outings, dinners, and events with your coworkers so you grow closer with them.\\nBe as inclusive as possible of other coworkers you're less inclined to want to spend outside-of-work time with. Have a chat at the water cooler, find out about their pets or children, and ask after them regularly. In other words, spread your charm around.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Impress your coworkers with your hard work.\", \"描述\": \"What's more appealing in a workplace setting than a brainy individual? A brainy individual who does what he or she sets out to do! Demonstrate your powerhouse intellect while working on a collaborative project or presentation, in a way that bolsters everyone's participation and leaves nobody out. Always be subtle, and don’t brag.\\nBe a dependable, stand-out employee––someone that every coworker (and boss) knows will get the job done above and beyond expectations.\\nBe that “go to” person that everyone knows is the best man or woman for the job. More than being just someone to \\\"go to\\\", be a willing guide, teacher or mentor to others. When everyone knows you're willing to both listen and give useful advice, you'll attract positive attention.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Becoming More Attractive By Adjusting Your Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a happy, positive person.\", \"描述\": \"People generally gravitate toward positive, engaging personalities and dislike grumpy, standoffish folks. People are more attracted to individuals who seem to laugh and smile more often. Take time to appreciate the little things at work and when you see coworkers in the morning, make eye contact, smile and greet them by name. Praise the good things they do.\\nWhen you encounter difficulties, try not to let them get you down. Think of them as opportunities to help you grow through challenging yourself to rise above adversity.\\nDon’t worry about problems at work or at home; have confidence you’ll solve them when they need to be solved.\\nDon’t dwell on workplace mistakes. Instead, celebrate your successes and those of others.\\nAt office parties, seek to be the life of such a party without becoming the butt of office jokes. Avoid getting hammered and doing something extremely embarrassing (which would definitely take you off the running list of being the attractive person in the office). Instead, maintain a clear head and approach parties as networking opportunities and as a chance to make your awesomeness even more evident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be comfortable in your own skin.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence shows in the way you carry and present yourself at work. Don’t boast about how great you are––instead, walk with pride, make eye contact and smile.\\nMaintain good posture at all times. How you carry yourself sends a clear message to those around you. Standing and sitting tall and walking confidently but with ease will let people know that you have self-respect and personal dignity, qualities which are supremely attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be courageous.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to have an attractive personality, be courageous at work. Make decisions that you stand by because you believe in their worth, even when others do not. Share your vision for project outcomes even when others are groaning that it's not possible. Having the confidence and courage to voice positivity and take chances others won’t can make you very appealing.\\nAvoid being arrogant or aloof. Instead, be humbly confident in your skills and aptitude. Although you should already be competent and able in your current role, make every effort to avoid coming across as conceited about what you do. There’s a fine line between letting your smarts shine and being a braggart. Avoid “tooting your own horn” or pointing out that you think you're smarter or more capable than another coworker.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be willing to let your true personality shine––a person who is comfortable in his or her own skin will always attract the interest of others.\\n\", \"Self-composure is always more attractive than being angry, aggressive or intimidating. In the workplace, this is even more marked as people gravitate to a calm and composed person who can be relied on to think clearly under pressure. Be that composed and calm person, even if it means practicing over and over again until this becomes second nature to you. Meditation, practicing mindfulness, getting therapy and being active are some ways to overcome negative feelings that might otherwise derail your determination to remain composed.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"There’s no room for taking clothing or behavior to the extreme in order to be the attractive person in the office. Grace and class trumps cheap attempts when trying to be more attractive.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,936 | How to Be More Careful About What You Say | 1. Take a pause.
Make it a habit to wait before you say something.
This is hard and it can take a lot of practice, but when you're having a conversation with someone, try to wait a beat or two before you say something. That will give you time to think about what you're going to say, rather than just blurting something out. When you do that, you'll often find that you're able to come up with more thoughtful responses to others, and you'll put your foot in your mouth less often.
Try taking a few deep breaths while you consider what you're going to say next, for instance.
2. Keep your message simple.
Try not to ramble while you're talking.
Have a specific point in mind and stick to it. That way, you'll be more likely to say exactly what you want to, and people will clearly understand what you mean. If you tend to veer off-topic, there's a good chance your message won't get lost in a lot of insignificant details.
3. Listen more.
Give other people plenty of time to talk.
If you're only focused on what you're going to say next, it's impossible to really hear what the other person is saying. Instead, when someone else is talking, look them in the eyes and give them your full attention. Once they've shared what they have to say, take a moment to think before you respond.
This will make you seem a lot more thoughtful, and it will also make it easier for you to understand the other person's point of view. When you can put yourself in their shoes, you may be less likely to say something that you'll wish you hadn't.
Also, avoid interrupting people. Not only can it be frustrating for them, but it's impossible to understand their perspective if you keep talking over them.
4. Ask open-ended questions.
Encourage others to build on what they're saying.
If there's anything you don't understand in a conversation, or if there's something you'd like to hear a little more about, ask the other person follow-up questions to learn more. Avoid questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no"—give the person space to elaborate on what they're saying. Not only will that show them that you're interested in what they're saying, but it will help clear up any misunderstandings.
When you have a better understanding of what someone else is saying, it will help you craft a more thoughtful response.
5. Don't see disagreements as win-or-lose.
Try not to take an argumentative stance.
If you go into a conversation thinking that you have to "win" every time you disagree with someone, you'll tend to come across as combative. That can actually lead you to get into more arguments, and you'll be more likely to blurt out something that's hurtful or insensitive. Instead, try to see disagreements as an opportunity to share different points of view and learn from each other.
For instance, if you and a coworker have differing ideas about how to handle an issue at work, don't go into a meeting expecting to butt heads with them. Instead, have an open mind about how the two of you can collaborate and work together to solve the problem.
6. THINK before you criticize someone.
Use this acronym to check what you're about to say.
If you're about to say something that could possibly hurt someone's feelings, stop and ask yourself: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind? If the answer to any of those questions is no, take a few minutes to figure out if you need to say it at all. If you still think it's important, try to rephrase it in your mind so it does fit all of those categories.
For instance, if you notice that a coworker is struggling to find something in a stack of papers, you might be tempted to say something like, "You wouldn't have that trouble if you were more organized." That might be true, and you might think it's helpful. However, it's questionable whether it's really necessary to point out, and it's unlikely it would come across as inspiring or kind.
Instead, you might say something like, "You know, I read a trick online recently for keeping papers sorted, and I tried it and it's been really working for me. If you want, you can stop by my desk later and I'll show you."
7. Speak in a way that's consistent with your goals.
Think long-term instead of getting wrapped up in the moment.
Sometimes it's tempting to just say whatever pops into our minds, especially when we're in a heated conversation. However, that can cause you to lose sight of the things that are really important to you. Even if a perfectly clever insult pops into your mind, take a second to check it against those goals—if it doesn't fit, be the bigger person and let it go.
For example, if you're married, chances are that one of your long-term goals is to be happy with your spouse. In that case, putting them down or pointing out their flaws probably doesn't align with that goal. On the other hand, you might need to have a cool, reasoned conversation about something that bothers you.
8. Only say important things.
Don't just talk for the sake of talking.
If you want to be seen as someone who speaks carefully, don't join a conversation unless you have something really worthwhile to say. When a thought occurs to you, take a few moments to evaluate whether it adds something of value to the conversation. If it doesn't, let it go and wait until you think of something more substantial to contribute.
For example, if someone mentions a news story, don't just chime in because you read the same article. Instead, reflect on the story for a moment—you'll seem a lot more thoughtful if you can think of something that relates to the bigger picture, like the fact that crime rates have been rising since the new mayor took office.
9. Don't rush to fill the silence.
Allow other people to fill gaps in the conversation.
If you're uncomfortable with silence, it's tempting to blurt out the first thing you think of when the conversation stalls. However, this can lead you to accidentally say something thoughtless or silly. Instead, just relax and think about what you were just talking about. If you have something valuable to add, jump back in, but if not, see if the other person has something to say, instead.
If you come up with a new conversation topic, it's fine to restart the conversation—it doesn't always have to be the other person who talks first. Just keep in mind that it's fine to have a quiet moment of reflection when you're talking to someone.
Silence is also a good option when you're just not sure what to say—it's often better not to say anything than to say the wrong thing.
10. Avoid gossip and negative remarks.
Focus on the good things about others, instead.
Avoid speaking about people in a way that puts them down. Even if you hear something bad about someone else, don't share it with others. Gossiping is an easy way to hurt people's feelings, but it actually can hurt your reputation, too. People will be less likely to trust you if they think you're going to talk bad about them, too.
On the other hand, speaking positively about others can go a long way toward creating a healthy, uplifting environment.
11. Beware of microaggressions.
Be thoughtful of underlying insults and assumptions.
Microaggressions are seemingly insignificant comments that, over time, create a hostile environment for people who are typically marginalized, like people of color, women, and the LGBTQ+ community. They include things like backhanded compliments, subtle assumptions, or phrases that are rooted in bias.
Microaggressions include pointing out that a person of color is articulate (which implies there's something unique about that), telling a transgender person that you can't tell they're trans (which sends the message that their worth is based on how well they pass), or asking the only female member of your team to get coffee for everyone.
If someone points out that you've done something offensive, listen to them with an open mind and apologize with humility. Also, if you don't understand why it was offensive, don't make that person feel like they're responsible for educating you—read up on it on your own time or ask someone else you trust to explain it to you.
12. Keep trying.
Don't give up if you don't get it right away.
Speaking carefully and thoughtfully can take a lot of practice, especially if you're naturally the type of person who just says whatever pops into your mind. However, even if you accidentally blurt something out that you didn't mean to, it doesn't mean you'll never be able to do better. Just stay committed to doing better—it will come easier with time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:19",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Take a pause.\\nMake it a habit to wait before you say something.\\nThis is hard and it can take a lot of practice, but when you're having a conversation with someone, try to wait a beat or two before you say something. That will give you time to think about what you're going to say, rather than just blurting something out. When you do that, you'll often find that you're able to come up with more thoughtful responses to others, and you'll put your foot in your mouth less often.\\nTry taking a few deep breaths while you consider what you're going to say next, for instance.\\n2. Keep your message simple.\\nTry not to ramble while you're talking.\\nHave a specific point in mind and stick to it. That way, you'll be more likely to say exactly what you want to, and people will clearly understand what you mean. If you tend to veer off-topic, there's a good chance your message won't get lost in a lot of insignificant details.\\n3. Listen more.\\nGive other people plenty of time to talk.\\nIf you're only focused on what you're going to say next, it's impossible to really hear what the other person is saying. Instead, when someone else is talking, look them in the eyes and give them your full attention. Once they've shared what they have to say, take a moment to think before you respond.\\nThis will make you seem a lot more thoughtful, and it will also make it easier for you to understand the other person's point of view. When you can put yourself in their shoes, you may be less likely to say something that you'll wish you hadn't.\\nAlso, avoid interrupting people. Not only can it be frustrating for them, but it's impossible to understand their perspective if you keep talking over them.\\n4. Ask open-ended questions.\\nEncourage others to build on what they're saying.\\nIf there's anything you don't understand in a conversation, or if there's something you'd like to hear a little more about, ask the other person follow-up questions to learn more. Avoid questions that can be answered with \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\"—give the person space to elaborate on what they're saying. Not only will that show them that you're interested in what they're saying, but it will help clear up any misunderstandings.\\nWhen you have a better understanding of what someone else is saying, it will help you craft a more thoughtful response.\\n5. Don't see disagreements as win-or-lose.\\nTry not to take an argumentative stance.\\nIf you go into a conversation thinking that you have to \\\"win\\\" every time you disagree with someone, you'll tend to come across as combative. That can actually lead you to get into more arguments, and you'll be more likely to blurt out something that's hurtful or insensitive. Instead, try to see disagreements as an opportunity to share different points of view and learn from each other.\\nFor instance, if you and a coworker have differing ideas about how to handle an issue at work, don't go into a meeting expecting to butt heads with them. Instead, have an open mind about how the two of you can collaborate and work together to solve the problem.\\n6. THINK before you criticize someone.\\nUse this acronym to check what you're about to say.\\nIf you're about to say something that could possibly hurt someone's feelings, stop and ask yourself: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind? If the answer to any of those questions is no, take a few minutes to figure out if you need to say it at all. If you still think it's important, try to rephrase it in your mind so it does fit all of those categories.\\nFor instance, if you notice that a coworker is struggling to find something in a stack of papers, you might be tempted to say something like, \\\"You wouldn't have that trouble if you were more organized.\\\" That might be true, and you might think it's helpful. However, it's questionable whether it's really necessary to point out, and it's unlikely it would come across as inspiring or kind.\\nInstead, you might say something like, \\\"You know, I read a trick online recently for keeping papers sorted, and I tried it and it's been really working for me. If you want, you can stop by my desk later and I'll show you.\\\"\\n7. Speak in a way that's consistent with your goals.\\nThink long-term instead of getting wrapped up in the moment.\\nSometimes it's tempting to just say whatever pops into our minds, especially when we're in a heated conversation. However, that can cause you to lose sight of the things that are really important to you. Even if a perfectly clever insult pops into your mind, take a second to check it against those goals—if it doesn't fit, be the bigger person and let it go.\\nFor example, if you're married, chances are that one of your long-term goals is to be happy with your spouse. In that case, putting them down or pointing out their flaws probably doesn't align with that goal. On the other hand, you might need to have a cool, reasoned conversation about something that bothers you.\\n8. Only say important things.\\nDon't just talk for the sake of talking.\\nIf you want to be seen as someone who speaks carefully, don't join a conversation unless you have something really worthwhile to say. When a thought occurs to you, take a few moments to evaluate whether it adds something of value to the conversation. If it doesn't, let it go and wait until you think of something more substantial to contribute.\\nFor example, if someone mentions a news story, don't just chime in because you read the same article. Instead, reflect on the story for a moment—you'll seem a lot more thoughtful if you can think of something that relates to the bigger picture, like the fact that crime rates have been rising since the new mayor took office.\\n9. Don't rush to fill the silence.\\nAllow other people to fill gaps in the conversation.\\nIf you're uncomfortable with silence, it's tempting to blurt out the first thing you think of when the conversation stalls. However, this can lead you to accidentally say something thoughtless or silly. Instead, just relax and think about what you were just talking about. If you have something valuable to add, jump back in, but if not, see if the other person has something to say, instead.\\nIf you come up with a new conversation topic, it's fine to restart the conversation—it doesn't always have to be the other person who talks first. Just keep in mind that it's fine to have a quiet moment of reflection when you're talking to someone.\\nSilence is also a good option when you're just not sure what to say—it's often better not to say anything than to say the wrong thing.\\n10. Avoid gossip and negative remarks.\\nFocus on the good things about others, instead.\\nAvoid speaking about people in a way that puts them down. Even if you hear something bad about someone else, don't share it with others. Gossiping is an easy way to hurt people's feelings, but it actually can hurt your reputation, too. People will be less likely to trust you if they think you're going to talk bad about them, too.\\nOn the other hand, speaking positively about others can go a long way toward creating a healthy, uplifting environment.\\n11. Beware of microaggressions.\\nBe thoughtful of underlying insults and assumptions.\\nMicroaggressions are seemingly insignificant comments that, over time, create a hostile environment for people who are typically marginalized, like people of color, women, and the LGBTQ+ community. They include things like backhanded compliments, subtle assumptions, or phrases that are rooted in bias.\\nMicroaggressions include pointing out that a person of color is articulate (which implies there's something unique about that), telling a transgender person that you can't tell they're trans (which sends the message that their worth is based on how well they pass), or asking the only female member of your team to get coffee for everyone.\\nIf someone points out that you've done something offensive, listen to them with an open mind and apologize with humility. Also, if you don't understand why it was offensive, don't make that person feel like they're responsible for educating you—read up on it on your own time or ask someone else you trust to explain it to you.\\n12. Keep trying.\\nDon't give up if you don't get it right away.\\nSpeaking carefully and thoughtfully can take a lot of practice, especially if you're naturally the type of person who just says whatever pops into your mind. However, even if you accidentally blurt something out that you didn't mean to, it doesn't mean you'll never be able to do better. Just stay committed to doing better—it will come easier with time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever had a moment where you heard yourself say something and immediately wished you could take it back? It happens to nearly everyone sooner or later, and it usually happens because we didn't take the time to think about what we were about to say. Learning to reflect before you speak can take a lot of practice, but don't get discouraged—with time, you can learn to be more thoughtful and deliberate when you're talking to people.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a pause.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it a habit to wait before you say something.\", \"描述\": \"This is hard and it can take a lot of practice, but when you're having a conversation with someone, try to wait a beat or two before you say something. That will give you time to think about what you're going to say, rather than just blurting something out. When you do that, you'll often find that you're able to come up with more thoughtful responses to others, and you'll put your foot in your mouth less often.\\nTry taking a few deep breaths while you consider what you're going to say next, for instance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your message simple.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to ramble while you're talking.\", \"描述\": \"Have a specific point in mind and stick to it. That way, you'll be more likely to say exactly what you want to, and people will clearly understand what you mean. If you tend to veer off-topic, there's a good chance your message won't get lost in a lot of insignificant details.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen more.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give other people plenty of time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"If you're only focused on what you're going to say next, it's impossible to really hear what the other person is saying. Instead, when someone else is talking, look them in the eyes and give them your full attention. Once they've shared what they have to say, take a moment to think before you respond.\\nThis will make you seem a lot more thoughtful, and it will also make it easier for you to understand the other person's point of view. When you can put yourself in their shoes, you may be less likely to say something that you'll wish you hadn't.\\nAlso, avoid interrupting people. Not only can it be frustrating for them, but it's impossible to understand their perspective if you keep talking over them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask open-ended questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Encourage others to build on what they're saying.\", \"描述\": \"If there's anything you don't understand in a conversation, or if there's something you'd like to hear a little more about, ask the other person follow-up questions to learn more. Avoid questions that can be answered with \\\"yes\\\" or \\\"no\\\"—give the person space to elaborate on what they're saying. Not only will that show them that you're interested in what they're saying, but it will help clear up any misunderstandings.\\nWhen you have a better understanding of what someone else is saying, it will help you craft a more thoughtful response.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't see disagreements as win-or-lose.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to take an argumentative stance.\", \"描述\": \"If you go into a conversation thinking that you have to \\\"win\\\" every time you disagree with someone, you'll tend to come across as combative. That can actually lead you to get into more arguments, and you'll be more likely to blurt out something that's hurtful or insensitive. Instead, try to see disagreements as an opportunity to share different points of view and learn from each other.\\nFor instance, if you and a coworker have differing ideas about how to handle an issue at work, don't go into a meeting expecting to butt heads with them. Instead, have an open mind about how the two of you can collaborate and work together to solve the problem.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"THINK before you criticize someone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use this acronym to check what you're about to say.\", \"描述\": \"If you're about to say something that could possibly hurt someone's feelings, stop and ask yourself: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind? If the answer to any of those questions is no, take a few minutes to figure out if you need to say it at all. If you still think it's important, try to rephrase it in your mind so it does fit all of those categories.\\nFor instance, if you notice that a coworker is struggling to find something in a stack of papers, you might be tempted to say something like, \\\"You wouldn't have that trouble if you were more organized.\\\" That might be true, and you might think it's helpful. However, it's questionable whether it's really necessary to point out, and it's unlikely it would come across as inspiring or kind.\\nInstead, you might say something like, \\\"You know, I read a trick online recently for keeping papers sorted, and I tried it and it's been really working for me. If you want, you can stop by my desk later and I'll show you.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Speak in a way that's consistent with your goals.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think long-term instead of getting wrapped up in the moment.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it's tempting to just say whatever pops into our minds, especially when we're in a heated conversation. However, that can cause you to lose sight of the things that are really important to you. Even if a perfectly clever insult pops into your mind, take a second to check it against those goals—if it doesn't fit, be the bigger person and let it go.\\nFor example, if you're married, chances are that one of your long-term goals is to be happy with your spouse. In that case, putting them down or pointing out their flaws probably doesn't align with that goal. On the other hand, you might need to have a cool, reasoned conversation about something that bothers you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Only say important things.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't just talk for the sake of talking.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be seen as someone who speaks carefully, don't join a conversation unless you have something really worthwhile to say. When a thought occurs to you, take a few moments to evaluate whether it adds something of value to the conversation. If it doesn't, let it go and wait until you think of something more substantial to contribute.\\nFor example, if someone mentions a news story, don't just chime in because you read the same article. Instead, reflect on the story for a moment—you'll seem a lot more thoughtful if you can think of something that relates to the bigger picture, like the fact that crime rates have been rising since the new mayor took office.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't rush to fill the silence.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Allow other people to fill gaps in the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If you're uncomfortable with silence, it's tempting to blurt out the first thing you think of when the conversation stalls. However, this can lead you to accidentally say something thoughtless or silly. Instead, just relax and think about what you were just talking about. If you have something valuable to add, jump back in, but if not, see if the other person has something to say, instead.\\nIf you come up with a new conversation topic, it's fine to restart the conversation—it doesn't always have to be the other person who talks first. Just keep in mind that it's fine to have a quiet moment of reflection when you're talking to someone.\\nSilence is also a good option when you're just not sure what to say—it's often better not to say anything than to say the wrong thing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossip and negative remarks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on the good things about others, instead.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid speaking about people in a way that puts them down. Even if you hear something bad about someone else, don't share it with others. Gossiping is an easy way to hurt people's feelings, but it actually can hurt your reputation, too. People will be less likely to trust you if they think you're going to talk bad about them, too.\\nOn the other hand, speaking positively about others can go a long way toward creating a healthy, uplifting environment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Beware of microaggressions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be thoughtful of underlying insults and assumptions.\", \"描述\": \"Microaggressions are seemingly insignificant comments that, over time, create a hostile environment for people who are typically marginalized, like people of color, women, and the LGBTQ+ community. They include things like backhanded compliments, subtle assumptions, or phrases that are rooted in bias.\\nMicroaggressions include pointing out that a person of color is articulate (which implies there's something unique about that), telling a transgender person that you can't tell they're trans (which sends the message that their worth is based on how well they pass), or asking the only female member of your team to get coffee for everyone.\\nIf someone points out that you've done something offensive, listen to them with an open mind and apologize with humility. Also, if you don't understand why it was offensive, don't make that person feel like they're responsible for educating you—read up on it on your own time or ask someone else you trust to explain it to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Keep trying.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't give up if you don't get it right away.\", \"描述\": \"Speaking carefully and thoughtfully can take a lot of practice, especially if you're naturally the type of person who just says whatever pops into your mind. However, even if you accidentally blurt something out that you didn't mean to, it doesn't mean you'll never be able to do better. Just stay committed to doing better—it will come easier with time.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,937 | How to Build Your Self Confidence | 1. Challenge your negative thoughts
Try to catch yourself when you think bad things about yourself.
If you notice a negative thought, question it to see if it’s actually true. When you start to question your negative self-talk, you can adjust your thinking over time.
For example, if you think something like, “My friends probably don’t like me,” try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friend just invite me to hang out last week?”
Or, if you think something like, “I’ll never pass this test,” ask yourself, “How do you know? Can you tell the future?”
2. Use positive self-talk
Repeat phrases every day until you start to believe them.
Take a few moments before you go to work or school to look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of your positive characteristics. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Try saying things like:
“I am an intelligent person.”
“I am a good father.”
“I have accomplished many important things in my life.”
“People enjoy spending time with me.”
3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
Try to remember that you’re only human.
Everyone makes mistakes, and you’re no different! Try to forgive yourself for things you did in the past so you can move on. Don’t hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else.
If you’re having trouble forgiving yourself for something, try asking if you’d forgive a friend for the same mistake. Then, use that forgiveness on yourself.
4. Be honest with yourself about your shortcomings
You might still have a lot to learn, but remind yourself that you're trying!
Being confident doesn’t mean overestimating your own abilities; instead, try to recognize where you might be slightly lacking, then work to improve that area.
For example, if you just started a new job, you probably don’t know everything about the company yet. Spend some time learning from your coworkers to do the best job that you can do.
5. Make a list of your positive qualities.
It might seem silly, but sit down and write out a list.
Start with 5 things that you like about yourself and try to add something to the list every day. If you can’t think of anything, try asking your loved ones what they like about you to get you started.
For example, you could write, “I’m kind, I’m loving, I’m passionate about art, I’m creative, and I’m a good friend.”
6. Learn to say “no.”
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t want to take on another responsibility, say “no.” It will be tough at first, but once you practice it, it will become second nature.
Saying “no” can often feel like we’re disappointing friends or family members. However, overwhelming yourself with responsibilities will only make you feel worse, and it can lead to lower self-esteem.
7. Get help from a mental health professional.
If you’re really struggling with your confidence, a professional can help.
They’ll be able to find the root of your low confidence so you can challenge your thoughts and break any negative thought patterns. A mental health professional can also help you work toward other goals, like improving your relationships or making changes in your life.
If you’re a college student, check out the mental health resources on campus. You might be able to see a mental health professional for free.
8. Spend time with people who appreciate you
Negative people tend to lower your confidence.
Instead, spend time with friends and family members who inspire you and push you to be your best self. You’ll know someone is good to be around if you feel excited and happy to hang out with them.
People who lower your confidence might make disparaging remarks about you or tell you that your goals are dumb. It probably feels draining to hang out with them, and you might be subconsciously avoiding them.
If you want to make a new group of friends, try joining a club to meet people interested in a hobby of yours.
9. Learn a new skill.
Do something outside of your own comfort zone.
If you’ve never tried playing chess before, play a few online games to get the hang of it. If you aren’t the best cook, try making a dish you’ve never had. There are many ways to acquire a new skill. Build your confidence in smaller areas to improve your overall self-esteem.
Try to expand your comfort zone slowly and steadily over time.
10. Exercise regularly.
Try to get 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day.
Working a little exercise into your daily routine can do wonders for your mental health. Not only will it make you feel stronger and healthier, exercising releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier. It will boost your overall mood and it can break up your day if you're feeling stuck.
Exercising doesn’t have to mean going to a gym and getting your pump on. You could swim, jog, do yoga, jump rope, or do an at-home workout routine.
11. Do something you enjoy every day.
Make yourself happy by doing something fun.
It could be a craft, an art piece, a nature walk, a hike, a jog, or even reading a good book. Spend 15 minutes doing something that you like to boost your mood and improve your overall self-esteem.
Try taking a break from technology while you do this, too. It can be nice to step away from the screens for a while.
12. Stand up straight and make eye contact with people.
Body language is a huge indicator of confidence.
When you interact with others, be sure to keep your head and chin up, stand up straight, and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. Keep your hands out of your pockets and plant your feet in a wide stance.
If you’re listening to someone else talk, practice active listening skills by nodding your head and making eye contact.
13. Wear clean clothes and practice good hygiene.
When you look good, you feel good, too.
Try to shower every day, brush your hair, clean your teeth, and put on clean clothes. If you like makeup or jewelry, wear that too! Try to present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident.
If you’re itching for a new wardrobe but don’t want to break the bank, try hitting up a thrift store in your area.
Tips
Improving your confidence takes time. Don’t give up!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:19",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Challenge your negative thoughts\\nTry to catch yourself when you think bad things about yourself.\\nIf you notice a negative thought, question it to see if it’s actually true. When you start to question your negative self-talk, you can adjust your thinking over time.\\nFor example, if you think something like, “My friends probably don’t like me,” try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friend just invite me to hang out last week?”\\nOr, if you think something like, “I’ll never pass this test,” ask yourself, “How do you know? Can you tell the future?”\\n2. Use positive self-talk\\nRepeat phrases every day until you start to believe them.\\nTake a few moments before you go to work or school to look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of your positive characteristics. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Try saying things like:\\n“I am an intelligent person.”\\n“I am a good father.”\\n“I have accomplished many important things in my life.”\\n“People enjoy spending time with me.”\\n3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.\\nTry to remember that you’re only human.\\nEveryone makes mistakes, and you’re no different! Try to forgive yourself for things you did in the past so you can move on. Don’t hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else.\\nIf you’re having trouble forgiving yourself for something, try asking if you’d forgive a friend for the same mistake. Then, use that forgiveness on yourself.\\n4. Be honest with yourself about your shortcomings\\nYou might still have a lot to learn, but remind yourself that you're trying!\\nBeing confident doesn’t mean overestimating your own abilities; instead, try to recognize where you might be slightly lacking, then work to improve that area.\\nFor example, if you just started a new job, you probably don’t know everything about the company yet. Spend some time learning from your coworkers to do the best job that you can do.\\n5. Make a list of your positive qualities.\\nIt might seem silly, but sit down and write out a list.\\nStart with 5 things that you like about yourself and try to add something to the list every day. If you can’t think of anything, try asking your loved ones what they like about you to get you started.\\nFor example, you could write, “I’m kind, I’m loving, I’m passionate about art, I’m creative, and I’m a good friend.”\\n6. Learn to say “no.”\\nYou don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.\\nIf you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t want to take on another responsibility, say “no.” It will be tough at first, but once you practice it, it will become second nature.\\nSaying “no” can often feel like we’re disappointing friends or family members. However, overwhelming yourself with responsibilities will only make you feel worse, and it can lead to lower self-esteem.\\n7. Get help from a mental health professional.\\nIf you’re really struggling with your confidence, a professional can help.\\nThey’ll be able to find the root of your low confidence so you can challenge your thoughts and break any negative thought patterns. A mental health professional can also help you work toward other goals, like improving your relationships or making changes in your life.\\nIf you’re a college student, check out the mental health resources on campus. You might be able to see a mental health professional for free.\\n8. Spend time with people who appreciate you\\nNegative people tend to lower your confidence.\\nInstead, spend time with friends and family members who inspire you and push you to be your best self. You’ll know someone is good to be around if you feel excited and happy to hang out with them.\\nPeople who lower your confidence might make disparaging remarks about you or tell you that your goals are dumb. It probably feels draining to hang out with them, and you might be subconsciously avoiding them.\\nIf you want to make a new group of friends, try joining a club to meet people interested in a hobby of yours.\\n9. Learn a new skill.\\nDo something outside of your own comfort zone.\\nIf you’ve never tried playing chess before, play a few online games to get the hang of it. If you aren’t the best cook, try making a dish you’ve never had. There are many ways to acquire a new skill. Build your confidence in smaller areas to improve your overall self-esteem.\\nTry to expand your comfort zone slowly and steadily over time.\\n10. Exercise regularly.\\nTry to get 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day.\\nWorking a little exercise into your daily routine can do wonders for your mental health. Not only will it make you feel stronger and healthier, exercising releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier. It will boost your overall mood and it can break up your day if you're feeling stuck.\\nExercising doesn’t have to mean going to a gym and getting your pump on. You could swim, jog, do yoga, jump rope, or do an at-home workout routine.\\n11. Do something you enjoy every day.\\nMake yourself happy by doing something fun.\\nIt could be a craft, an art piece, a nature walk, a hike, a jog, or even reading a good book. Spend 15 minutes doing something that you like to boost your mood and improve your overall self-esteem.\\nTry taking a break from technology while you do this, too. It can be nice to step away from the screens for a while.\\n12. Stand up straight and make eye contact with people.\\nBody language is a huge indicator of confidence.\\nWhen you interact with others, be sure to keep your head and chin up, stand up straight, and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. Keep your hands out of your pockets and plant your feet in a wide stance.\\nIf you’re listening to someone else talk, practice active listening skills by nodding your head and making eye contact.\\n13. Wear clean clothes and practice good hygiene.\\nWhen you look good, you feel good, too.\\nTry to shower every day, brush your hair, clean your teeth, and put on clean clothes. If you like makeup or jewelry, wear that too! Try to present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident.\\nIf you’re itching for a new wardrobe but don’t want to break the bank, try hitting up a thrift store in your area.\\nTips\\nImproving your confidence takes time. Don’t give up!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Confidence is all about harnessing your own unique, internal power. It's what allows you to wow friends, dazzle parties, excel in school and work, and ultimately, just feel great about yourself—but when you struggle to feel secure, how can you become the most confident you? It's actually way easier than you'd think. Below, we've outlined the very best research-backed tips and tricks to help you on your journey. Ready to let that inner light shine through? Let's get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Challenge your negative thoughts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to catch yourself when you think bad things about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice a negative thought, question it to see if it’s actually true. When you start to question your negative self-talk, you can adjust your thinking over time.\\nFor example, if you think something like, “My friends probably don’t like me,” try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friend just invite me to hang out last week?”\\nOr, if you think something like, “I’ll never pass this test,” ask yourself, “How do you know? Can you tell the future?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use positive self-talk\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Repeat phrases every day until you start to believe them.\", \"描述\": \"Take a few moments before you go to work or school to look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of your positive characteristics. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something that you would like to believe about yourself. Try saying things like:\\n“I am an intelligent person.”\\n“I am a good father.”\\n“I have accomplished many important things in my life.”\\n“People enjoy spending time with me.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself for your mistakes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to remember that you’re only human.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone makes mistakes, and you’re no different! Try to forgive yourself for things you did in the past so you can move on. Don’t hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else.\\nIf you’re having trouble forgiving yourself for something, try asking if you’d forgive a friend for the same mistake. Then, use that forgiveness on yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be honest with yourself about your shortcomings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You might still have a lot to learn, but remind yourself that you're trying!\", \"描述\": \"Being confident doesn’t mean overestimating your own abilities; instead, try to recognize where you might be slightly lacking, then work to improve that area.\\nFor example, if you just started a new job, you probably don’t know everything about the company yet. Spend some time learning from your coworkers to do the best job that you can do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your positive qualities.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It might seem silly, but sit down and write out a list.\", \"描述\": \"Start with 5 things that you like about yourself and try to add something to the list every day. If you can’t think of anything, try asking your loved ones what they like about you to get you started.\\nFor example, you could write, “I’m kind, I’m loving, I’m passionate about art, I’m creative, and I’m a good friend.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to say “no.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t want to take on another responsibility, say “no.” It will be tough at first, but once you practice it, it will become second nature.\\nSaying “no” can often feel like we’re disappointing friends or family members. However, overwhelming yourself with responsibilities will only make you feel worse, and it can lead to lower self-esteem.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get help from a mental health professional.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re really struggling with your confidence, a professional can help.\", \"描述\": \"They’ll be able to find the root of your low confidence so you can challenge your thoughts and break any negative thought patterns. A mental health professional can also help you work toward other goals, like improving your relationships or making changes in your life.\\nIf you’re a college student, check out the mental health resources on campus. You might be able to see a mental health professional for free.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people who appreciate you\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Negative people tend to lower your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, spend time with friends and family members who inspire you and push you to be your best self. You’ll know someone is good to be around if you feel excited and happy to hang out with them.\\nPeople who lower your confidence might make disparaging remarks about you or tell you that your goals are dumb. It probably feels draining to hang out with them, and you might be subconsciously avoiding them.\\nIf you want to make a new group of friends, try joining a club to meet people interested in a hobby of yours.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Learn a new skill.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do something outside of your own comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve never tried playing chess before, play a few online games to get the hang of it. If you aren’t the best cook, try making a dish you’ve never had. There are many ways to acquire a new skill. Build your confidence in smaller areas to improve your overall self-esteem.\\nTry to expand your comfort zone slowly and steadily over time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to get 30 minutes of moderate exercise per day.\", \"描述\": \"Working a little exercise into your daily routine can do wonders for your mental health. Not only will it make you feel stronger and healthier, exercising releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier. It will boost your overall mood and it can break up your day if you're feeling stuck.\\nExercising doesn’t have to mean going to a gym and getting your pump on. You could swim, jog, do yoga, jump rope, or do an at-home workout routine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Do something you enjoy every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make yourself happy by doing something fun.\", \"描述\": \"It could be a craft, an art piece, a nature walk, a hike, a jog, or even reading a good book. Spend 15 minutes doing something that you like to boost your mood and improve your overall self-esteem.\\nTry taking a break from technology while you do this, too. It can be nice to step away from the screens for a while.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Stand up straight and make eye contact with people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Body language is a huge indicator of confidence.\", \"描述\": \"When you interact with others, be sure to keep your head and chin up, stand up straight, and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. Keep your hands out of your pockets and plant your feet in a wide stance.\\nIf you’re listening to someone else talk, practice active listening skills by nodding your head and making eye contact.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Wear clean clothes and practice good hygiene.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you look good, you feel good, too.\", \"描述\": \"Try to shower every day, brush your hair, clean your teeth, and put on clean clothes. If you like makeup or jewelry, wear that too! Try to present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident.\\nIf you’re itching for a new wardrobe but don’t want to break the bank, try hitting up a thrift store in your area.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Improving your confidence takes time. Don’t give up!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,938 | How to Be More Confident With Men | 1. Developing Self-Confidence
1-1. Carry yourself with confidence.
Stand up straight and tall. Even if you don’t feel confident, you can fake it. No one will be able to tell the difference, and pretty soon, you will start feeling more confident, too!
Use confident body language. Shake hands, smile, and avoid fidgeting or playing with your hair, which makes you appear uncomfortable.
Make eye contact. Look at the person you are talking to. You do not need to stare at them intently (to do so would be rather off-putting to the other person). It’s okay to break eye contact every once in a while. But make sure you are primarily looking the person in the eyes, or at least looking somewhere on their face if direct eye contact makes you too uncomfortable.
1-2. Dress in clothes you love.
Wear clothes you feel confident, comfortable, or sexy in. Wearing something that makes you feel and look good will give your self-confidence a little boost.
Make sure you are dressed appropriately for the occasion. You will feel less confident if you are wearing the “wrong” clothing. If you are unsure what to wear to an event, check with a friend or colleague about what might be appropriate.
Learn more about dress codes and what you might be expected to wear for certain events. For example, jeans and a cute top are appropriate for a casual party, a party dress might work for a more formal social event, and understand your employer’s dress code to make sure what you wear to work fits within its parameters. You’ll feel more confident if your look “fits” the vibe of the environment.
You could ask, “Do you know what the dress code is for this event? What are you going to be wearing?”
1-3. Be yourself.
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to be attractive to men. While you may need to “fake” being confident to understand how confidence feels, this doesn’t mean you should change other aspects of your personality just to attract someone to you. The men you want in your life will appreciate you for who you are, not someone you ought to be.
Let your unique, interesting personality shine through. Are you funny? Show off your sense of humor! Are you involved in your community or a live music aficionado? Talk about your interests proudly. If someone doesn’t like you for you, they are not worth your time!
Stay relaxed when talking to men and don’t feel like you need to prove something. If you are having a difficult time, you could pretend that you are talking to your brother or cousin.
Smile your genuine, beautiful smile. It helps others find you more approachable, and it has the added bonus of decreasing your stress level, even if you are nervous!
1-4. Turn off your inner critic.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Realize that other people are probably not thinking about you or judging you nearly as much as you believe them to be.
Keep a positive attitude. Don’t worry if you make a mistake or say something dumb. Laugh it off and move on. People are more attracted to others who convey confidence and who don’t seem concerned with what others think about them.
Consider the following scenario: Say you are at a party and you spill something all over yourself that leaves an obvious stain. What conveys more confidence, pointing out the mess and saying how clumsy you are, or laughing it off and forgetting about it? Staying positive and not beating yourself up will help you have more fun!
While alcohol and drugs can make you feel disinhibited, do not resort to using substances to make you feel this way.
1-5. Find confident female role models.
Take a look at confident women around your workplace or at a social event. They will radiate confidence throughout the room, and project a sense of feeling comfortable in their own skin. Watch what they do, and what makes them so at ease. Try to mimic their behavior.
Remember, fake it ‘til you make it. Trying out new behaviors can feel uncomfortable and awkward for a while, but if you are consistent in your practice, you may soon feel like they’re a part of who you are.
Consider asking a friend whose confidence you admire what she does to make herself appear so confident. For example, you could say, “I’m always so impressed by how confident you appear in social situations. What’s your secret?”
1-6. Take care of yourself.
Eat well and exercise. Feeling healthy is a great confidence boost.
Eating healthy can help you feel better about yourself, knowing that you are making good choices for your body. Sometimes the food we eat impacts our moods as well. Eating better may help you maintain a more elevated mood: reducing sugar consumption may help you avoid blood sugar crashes, for example.
If you want to get in shape, it will give you more self-confidence to train for an event and accomplish something, rather than reach a number on a scale. Consider signing up for a race or a long-distance cycling event, for example. When you cross the finish line, you will feel proud of yourself for achieving something awesome!
1-7. Find your self-worth from within.
Don’t base your self-esteem on others’ opinion of you or on the things that you have. Don’t think more or less of yourself if you have a significant other or you don’t.
Value the character of your heart over external factors that are easily taken away, like romantic relationships, or how much is in your bank account. Embrace your integrity, compassion, and generosity instead.
You may find volunteering, attending religious services, or meditation helpful to improve your self-worth.
2. Improving Your Conversational Abilities
2-1. Find common interests.
Search for common interests or common ground with the man you are talking to. Searching for common ground may require different questions for different settings.
For example, if you’re talking to a coworker, you could ask about projects they are working on, if they work with a friend of yours, or what they like (or don’t like) about their position. You could say, “I heard you got promoted last month. How do you like your new position?”
If you are talking to someone at a party, you could ask how they know the party host, if they live nearby, or what they do for a living. You could say, “How do you know Jack? He and I have known each other since high school.”
If you are on a date, you could ask him about his interests, where he grew up, or his career and life goals. You could ask, “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you like to visit?”
2-2. Listen
Most people love good listeners… it gives them a great opportunity to talk about themselves! In fact, good listeners are generally viewed more positively following a conversation, because the speaker was given space to talk about themselves. The feelings generated from talking about yourself are the same feelings of pleasure you can receive from food or money.
Let the other person know you are listening by reflecting back what they say. For example, if your date says, “I have a terrible commute. I’m in my car for hours every day,” you could say, “That sounds really stressful!” This also helps the conversation move deeper, which is important if you want to get to know someone better.
2-3. Ask questions.
Ask open-ended questions to further the conversation. Questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no” can sometimes make it hard to continue the conversation, if the person you are speaking with is not particularly forthcoming.
For example, asking “What was your family like growing up?” can take the conversation in a bunch of different directions. Asking “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” can be answered with a very brief response.
Ask follow-up questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “What happened next?” to continue the conversation.
2-4. Share interesting stories.
Talk about yourself, too. Let others get to know you. Telling your own stories conveys confidence, because you are using your own voice to speak about your own experience. Speak up and be proud of your life and who you are.
If you tend to get nervous or shy when talking to people, it may help you to think of some things to say ahead of time. Know your audience and decide what might be appropriate conversation topics (you probably don’t want to bring up ex-boyfriends, for example).
Think of your most interesting, engaging material. You could tell some funny stories, talk about your travel adventures, tell stories about your pets, or interesting tales about the time you met a celebrity or went skydiving, for example.
Wait for a lull in conversation, then you could say something like, “I had the strangest thing happen to me the other day,” then tell your story. Or, you could piggyback on the current topic of conversation and say, “That reminds me of the time I….” Make sure you don’t monopolize the conversation, and find a way to steer it back to other listeners when your story is over.
3. Making Connections with Men
3-1. Talk to more men.
Make male friends. Chat with guys just to make conversation. The more comfortable you are interacting with men, the more confident you will be. Talk to men in low-pressure situations to build your confidence. That way, you will feel more prepared for dates or other encounters where you may be more likely to be nervous.
Joke with men or flirt with them, if you are comfortable.
Join a club or a sports league in order to make new guy friends.
Try making chitchat in casual settings: waiting for the copy machine at work, in line at the coffee shop, or at the gym.
3-2. Avoid placing too much importance on men.
Men are great, and having male friends, colleagues, and lovers in your life can enrich it. But do not place so much weight on “having a man” that you neglect or devalue other aspects of your life.
Don’t attach romantic expectations to every man. Society often gives women the message that being in a romantic relationship with a man is the most important thing, but this can put a lot of pressure on women and, thus, can make them feel less confident around men.
Treat a man as a potential friend first, and as a potential romance only after you get to know him. It can be hard to break this pattern of thought after so many cultural messages that reinforce it.
Try telling yourself, “We are both human beings with the same feelings at our core. I would like to try to get to know this person better and be friends with them.”
3-3. Learn about gender similarities.
Studies show that being male or female has little impact on personality, cognition, or leadership ability. While you may feel that “men are from Mars,” the reality is that you may have more in common with them than you think.
Researchers think that most of the differences between men and women are the result of gender norms and expectations, and the environment in which people were raised that influenced our behaviors.
Our brains are a patchwork of “male” and “female” characteristics. Researchers examining both male and female brains found that most people had brains that were hybrids of male and female brain structure. For example, men typically have more connections front to back, which enhances perception and leads to taking action. Women typically have more connections going left and right across the two halves of the brain, which improves their ability to synthesize information and draw conclusions. The brains scientists studied all had wide varieties of these characteristics, regardless of whether the brain belonged to a man or a woman.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:19",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Self-Confidence\\n1-1. Carry yourself with confidence.\\nStand up straight and tall. Even if you don’t feel confident, you can fake it. No one will be able to tell the difference, and pretty soon, you will start feeling more confident, too!\\nUse confident body language. Shake hands, smile, and avoid fidgeting or playing with your hair, which makes you appear uncomfortable.\\n\\nMake eye contact. Look at the person you are talking to. You do not need to stare at them intently (to do so would be rather off-putting to the other person). It’s okay to break eye contact every once in a while. But make sure you are primarily looking the person in the eyes, or at least looking somewhere on their face if direct eye contact makes you too uncomfortable.\\n1-2. Dress in clothes you love.\\nWear clothes you feel confident, comfortable, or sexy in. Wearing something that makes you feel and look good will give your self-confidence a little boost.\\nMake sure you are dressed appropriately for the occasion. You will feel less confident if you are wearing the “wrong” clothing. If you are unsure what to wear to an event, check with a friend or colleague about what might be appropriate.\\nLearn more about dress codes and what you might be expected to wear for certain events. For example, jeans and a cute top are appropriate for a casual party, a party dress might work for a more formal social event, and understand your employer’s dress code to make sure what you wear to work fits within its parameters. You’ll feel more confident if your look “fits” the vibe of the environment.\\nYou could ask, “Do you know what the dress code is for this event? What are you going to be wearing?”\\n1-3. Be yourself.\\nDon’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to be attractive to men. While you may need to “fake” being confident to understand how confidence feels, this doesn’t mean you should change other aspects of your personality just to attract someone to you. The men you want in your life will appreciate you for who you are, not someone you ought to be.\\nLet your unique, interesting personality shine through. Are you funny? Show off your sense of humor! Are you involved in your community or a live music aficionado? Talk about your interests proudly. If someone doesn’t like you for you, they are not worth your time!\\nStay relaxed when talking to men and don’t feel like you need to prove something. If you are having a difficult time, you could pretend that you are talking to your brother or cousin.\\nSmile your genuine, beautiful smile. It helps others find you more approachable, and it has the added bonus of decreasing your stress level, even if you are nervous!\\n1-4. Turn off your inner critic.\\nTry not to be so hard on yourself. Realize that other people are probably not thinking about you or judging you nearly as much as you believe them to be. \\nKeep a positive attitude. Don’t worry if you make a mistake or say something dumb. Laugh it off and move on. People are more attracted to others who convey confidence and who don’t seem concerned with what others think about them.\\nConsider the following scenario: Say you are at a party and you spill something all over yourself that leaves an obvious stain. What conveys more confidence, pointing out the mess and saying how clumsy you are, or laughing it off and forgetting about it? Staying positive and not beating yourself up will help you have more fun!\\nWhile alcohol and drugs can make you feel disinhibited, do not resort to using substances to make you feel this way.\\n1-5. Find confident female role models.\\nTake a look at confident women around your workplace or at a social event. They will radiate confidence throughout the room, and project a sense of feeling comfortable in their own skin. Watch what they do, and what makes them so at ease. Try to mimic their behavior.\\nRemember, fake it ‘til you make it. Trying out new behaviors can feel uncomfortable and awkward for a while, but if you are consistent in your practice, you may soon feel like they’re a part of who you are.\\nConsider asking a friend whose confidence you admire what she does to make herself appear so confident. For example, you could say, “I’m always so impressed by how confident you appear in social situations. What’s your secret?”\\n1-6. Take care of yourself.\\nEat well and exercise. Feeling healthy is a great confidence boost.\\nEating healthy can help you feel better about yourself, knowing that you are making good choices for your body. Sometimes the food we eat impacts our moods as well. Eating better may help you maintain a more elevated mood: reducing sugar consumption may help you avoid blood sugar crashes, for example.\\nIf you want to get in shape, it will give you more self-confidence to train for an event and accomplish something, rather than reach a number on a scale. Consider signing up for a race or a long-distance cycling event, for example. When you cross the finish line, you will feel proud of yourself for achieving something awesome!\\n1-7. Find your self-worth from within.\\nDon’t base your self-esteem on others’ opinion of you or on the things that you have. Don’t think more or less of yourself if you have a significant other or you don’t.\\nValue the character of your heart over external factors that are easily taken away, like romantic relationships, or how much is in your bank account. Embrace your integrity, compassion, and generosity instead.\\nYou may find volunteering, attending religious services, or meditation helpful to improve your self-worth.\\n2. Improving Your Conversational Abilities\\n2-1. Find common interests.\\nSearch for common interests or common ground with the man you are talking to. Searching for common ground may require different questions for different settings.\\nFor example, if you’re talking to a coworker, you could ask about projects they are working on, if they work with a friend of yours, or what they like (or don’t like) about their position. You could say, “I heard you got promoted last month. How do you like your new position?”\\nIf you are talking to someone at a party, you could ask how they know the party host, if they live nearby, or what they do for a living. You could say, “How do you know Jack? He and I have known each other since high school.”\\nIf you are on a date, you could ask him about his interests, where he grew up, or his career and life goals. You could ask, “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you like to visit?”\\n2-2. Listen\\nMost people love good listeners… it gives them a great opportunity to talk about themselves! In fact, good listeners are generally viewed more positively following a conversation, because the speaker was given space to talk about themselves. The feelings generated from talking about yourself are the same feelings of pleasure you can receive from food or money.\\nLet the other person know you are listening by reflecting back what they say. For example, if your date says, “I have a terrible commute. I’m in my car for hours every day,” you could say, “That sounds really stressful!” This also helps the conversation move deeper, which is important if you want to get to know someone better.\\n2-3. Ask questions.\\nAsk open-ended questions to further the conversation. Questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no” can sometimes make it hard to continue the conversation, if the person you are speaking with is not particularly forthcoming.\\nFor example, asking “What was your family like growing up?” can take the conversation in a bunch of different directions. Asking “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” can be answered with a very brief response.\\nAsk follow-up questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “What happened next?” to continue the conversation.\\n2-4. Share interesting stories.\\nTalk about yourself, too. Let others get to know you. Telling your own stories conveys confidence, because you are using your own voice to speak about your own experience. Speak up and be proud of your life and who you are.\\nIf you tend to get nervous or shy when talking to people, it may help you to think of some things to say ahead of time. Know your audience and decide what might be appropriate conversation topics (you probably don’t want to bring up ex-boyfriends, for example).\\nThink of your most interesting, engaging material. You could tell some funny stories, talk about your travel adventures, tell stories about your pets, or interesting tales about the time you met a celebrity or went skydiving, for example.\\nWait for a lull in conversation, then you could say something like, “I had the strangest thing happen to me the other day,” then tell your story. Or, you could piggyback on the current topic of conversation and say, “That reminds me of the time I….” Make sure you don’t monopolize the conversation, and find a way to steer it back to other listeners when your story is over.\\n3. Making Connections with Men\\n3-1. Talk to more men.\\nMake male friends. Chat with guys just to make conversation. The more comfortable you are interacting with men, the more confident you will be. Talk to men in low-pressure situations to build your confidence. That way, you will feel more prepared for dates or other encounters where you may be more likely to be nervous.\\nJoke with men or flirt with them, if you are comfortable.\\nJoin a club or a sports league in order to make new guy friends.\\nTry making chitchat in casual settings: waiting for the copy machine at work, in line at the coffee shop, or at the gym.\\n3-2. Avoid placing too much importance on men.\\nMen are great, and having male friends, colleagues, and lovers in your life can enrich it. But do not place so much weight on “having a man” that you neglect or devalue other aspects of your life.\\nDon’t attach romantic expectations to every man. Society often gives women the message that being in a romantic relationship with a man is the most important thing, but this can put a lot of pressure on women and, thus, can make them feel less confident around men.\\nTreat a man as a potential friend first, and as a potential romance only after you get to know him. It can be hard to break this pattern of thought after so many cultural messages that reinforce it.\\nTry telling yourself, “We are both human beings with the same feelings at our core. I would like to try to get to know this person better and be friends with them.”\\n3-3. Learn about gender similarities.\\nStudies show that being male or female has little impact on personality, cognition, or leadership ability. While you may feel that “men are from Mars,” the reality is that you may have more in common with them than you think.\\nResearchers think that most of the differences between men and women are the result of gender norms and expectations, and the environment in which people were raised that influenced our behaviors.\\nOur brains are a patchwork of “male” and “female” characteristics. Researchers examining both male and female brains found that most people had brains that were hybrids of male and female brain structure. For example, men typically have more connections front to back, which enhances perception and leads to taking action. Women typically have more connections going left and right across the two halves of the brain, which improves their ability to synthesize information and draw conclusions. The brains scientists studied all had wide varieties of these characteristics, regardless of whether the brain belonged to a man or a woman.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may feel tongue-tied and nervous around men. Perhaps you feel pressured because you are always looking for a romantic relationship. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable because you don’t feel like you can relate to men. Remember that a man is a person with thoughts, feelings, and beliefs just like you, and you can learn to connect with him beyond his masculinity and to who he is as a human being. To do this, you can develop your own self-confidence to feel more secure in yourself while you are around guys. You can improve your conversational skills so that you can talk to a man and find common ground with him. You can also make more male friends and make connections with guys that are not just romantic in nature.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Self-Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Carry yourself with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight and tall. Even if you don’t feel confident, you can fake it. No one will be able to tell the difference, and pretty soon, you will start feeling more confident, too!\\nUse confident body language. Shake hands, smile, and avoid fidgeting or playing with your hair, which makes you appear uncomfortable.\\n\\nMake eye contact. Look at the person you are talking to. You do not need to stare at them intently (to do so would be rather off-putting to the other person). It’s okay to break eye contact every once in a while. But make sure you are primarily looking the person in the eyes, or at least looking somewhere on their face if direct eye contact makes you too uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress in clothes you love.\", \"描述\": \"Wear clothes you feel confident, comfortable, or sexy in. Wearing something that makes you feel and look good will give your self-confidence a little boost.\\nMake sure you are dressed appropriately for the occasion. You will feel less confident if you are wearing the “wrong” clothing. If you are unsure what to wear to an event, check with a friend or colleague about what might be appropriate.\\nLearn more about dress codes and what you might be expected to wear for certain events. For example, jeans and a cute top are appropriate for a casual party, a party dress might work for a more formal social event, and understand your employer’s dress code to make sure what you wear to work fits within its parameters. You’ll feel more confident if your look “fits” the vibe of the environment.\\nYou could ask, “Do you know what the dress code is for this event? What are you going to be wearing?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to be attractive to men. While you may need to “fake” being confident to understand how confidence feels, this doesn’t mean you should change other aspects of your personality just to attract someone to you. The men you want in your life will appreciate you for who you are, not someone you ought to be.\\nLet your unique, interesting personality shine through. Are you funny? Show off your sense of humor! Are you involved in your community or a live music aficionado? Talk about your interests proudly. If someone doesn’t like you for you, they are not worth your time!\\nStay relaxed when talking to men and don’t feel like you need to prove something. If you are having a difficult time, you could pretend that you are talking to your brother or cousin.\\nSmile your genuine, beautiful smile. It helps others find you more approachable, and it has the added bonus of decreasing your stress level, even if you are nervous!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Turn off your inner critic.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to be so hard on yourself. Realize that other people are probably not thinking about you or judging you nearly as much as you believe them to be. \\nKeep a positive attitude. Don’t worry if you make a mistake or say something dumb. Laugh it off and move on. People are more attracted to others who convey confidence and who don’t seem concerned with what others think about them.\\nConsider the following scenario: Say you are at a party and you spill something all over yourself that leaves an obvious stain. What conveys more confidence, pointing out the mess and saying how clumsy you are, or laughing it off and forgetting about it? Staying positive and not beating yourself up will help you have more fun!\\nWhile alcohol and drugs can make you feel disinhibited, do not resort to using substances to make you feel this way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find confident female role models.\", \"描述\": \"Take a look at confident women around your workplace or at a social event. They will radiate confidence throughout the room, and project a sense of feeling comfortable in their own skin. Watch what they do, and what makes them so at ease. Try to mimic their behavior.\\nRemember, fake it ‘til you make it. Trying out new behaviors can feel uncomfortable and awkward for a while, but if you are consistent in your practice, you may soon feel like they’re a part of who you are.\\nConsider asking a friend whose confidence you admire what she does to make herself appear so confident. For example, you could say, “I’m always so impressed by how confident you appear in social situations. What’s your secret?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Eat well and exercise. Feeling healthy is a great confidence boost.\\nEating healthy can help you feel better about yourself, knowing that you are making good choices for your body. Sometimes the food we eat impacts our moods as well. Eating better may help you maintain a more elevated mood: reducing sugar consumption may help you avoid blood sugar crashes, for example.\\nIf you want to get in shape, it will give you more self-confidence to train for an event and accomplish something, rather than reach a number on a scale. Consider signing up for a race or a long-distance cycling event, for example. When you cross the finish line, you will feel proud of yourself for achieving something awesome!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Find your self-worth from within.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t base your self-esteem on others’ opinion of you or on the things that you have. Don’t think more or less of yourself if you have a significant other or you don’t.\\nValue the character of your heart over external factors that are easily taken away, like romantic relationships, or how much is in your bank account. Embrace your integrity, compassion, and generosity instead.\\nYou may find volunteering, attending religious services, or meditation helpful to improve your self-worth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Conversational Abilities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find common interests.\", \"描述\": \"Search for common interests or common ground with the man you are talking to. Searching for common ground may require different questions for different settings.\\nFor example, if you’re talking to a coworker, you could ask about projects they are working on, if they work with a friend of yours, or what they like (or don’t like) about their position. You could say, “I heard you got promoted last month. How do you like your new position?”\\nIf you are talking to someone at a party, you could ask how they know the party host, if they live nearby, or what they do for a living. You could say, “How do you know Jack? He and I have known each other since high school.”\\nIf you are on a date, you could ask him about his interests, where he grew up, or his career and life goals. You could ask, “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you like to visit?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen\", \"描述\": \"Most people love good listeners… it gives them a great opportunity to talk about themselves! In fact, good listeners are generally viewed more positively following a conversation, because the speaker was given space to talk about themselves. The feelings generated from talking about yourself are the same feelings of pleasure you can receive from food or money.\\nLet the other person know you are listening by reflecting back what they say. For example, if your date says, “I have a terrible commute. I’m in my car for hours every day,” you could say, “That sounds really stressful!” This also helps the conversation move deeper, which is important if you want to get to know someone better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Ask open-ended questions to further the conversation. Questions that can be answered with a “yes” or “no” can sometimes make it hard to continue the conversation, if the person you are speaking with is not particularly forthcoming.\\nFor example, asking “What was your family like growing up?” can take the conversation in a bunch of different directions. Asking “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” can be answered with a very brief response.\\nAsk follow-up questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “What happened next?” to continue the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share interesting stories.\", \"描述\": \"Talk about yourself, too. Let others get to know you. Telling your own stories conveys confidence, because you are using your own voice to speak about your own experience. Speak up and be proud of your life and who you are.\\nIf you tend to get nervous or shy when talking to people, it may help you to think of some things to say ahead of time. Know your audience and decide what might be appropriate conversation topics (you probably don’t want to bring up ex-boyfriends, for example).\\nThink of your most interesting, engaging material. You could tell some funny stories, talk about your travel adventures, tell stories about your pets, or interesting tales about the time you met a celebrity or went skydiving, for example.\\nWait for a lull in conversation, then you could say something like, “I had the strangest thing happen to me the other day,” then tell your story. Or, you could piggyback on the current topic of conversation and say, “That reminds me of the time I….” Make sure you don’t monopolize the conversation, and find a way to steer it back to other listeners when your story is over.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Connections with Men\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to more men.\", \"描述\": \"Make male friends. Chat with guys just to make conversation. The more comfortable you are interacting with men, the more confident you will be. Talk to men in low-pressure situations to build your confidence. That way, you will feel more prepared for dates or other encounters where you may be more likely to be nervous.\\nJoke with men or flirt with them, if you are comfortable.\\nJoin a club or a sports league in order to make new guy friends.\\nTry making chitchat in casual settings: waiting for the copy machine at work, in line at the coffee shop, or at the gym.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid placing too much importance on men.\", \"描述\": \"Men are great, and having male friends, colleagues, and lovers in your life can enrich it. But do not place so much weight on “having a man” that you neglect or devalue other aspects of your life.\\nDon’t attach romantic expectations to every man. Society often gives women the message that being in a romantic relationship with a man is the most important thing, but this can put a lot of pressure on women and, thus, can make them feel less confident around men.\\nTreat a man as a potential friend first, and as a potential romance only after you get to know him. It can be hard to break this pattern of thought after so many cultural messages that reinforce it.\\nTry telling yourself, “We are both human beings with the same feelings at our core. I would like to try to get to know this person better and be friends with them.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn about gender similarities.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that being male or female has little impact on personality, cognition, or leadership ability. While you may feel that “men are from Mars,” the reality is that you may have more in common with them than you think.\\nResearchers think that most of the differences between men and women are the result of gender norms and expectations, and the environment in which people were raised that influenced our behaviors.\\nOur brains are a patchwork of “male” and “female” characteristics. Researchers examining both male and female brains found that most people had brains that were hybrids of male and female brain structure. For example, men typically have more connections front to back, which enhances perception and leads to taking action. Women typically have more connections going left and right across the two halves of the brain, which improves their ability to synthesize information and draw conclusions. The brains scientists studied all had wide varieties of these characteristics, regardless of whether the brain belonged to a man or a woman.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,939 | How to Be More Confident at School | 1. Remind yourself of your good qualities.
Think about the skills, personality traits, and qualities that you're proud of.
We all have days where we feel down about ourselves, but you have lots of great qualities! Take some time to think about or write down things that you like about yourself. Get out your journal or diary and make a list. This way you can remind yourself whenever you're feeling down.
For example, you might love that you're compassionate and great at sports, or you might be proud that you're a little weird and fiercely loyal to your friends.
2. Silence your inner critic.
Don't think negative things about yourself.
Sure, we've all felt like we've made mistakes or that we could do better, but if you're constantly telling yourself that you can't achieve things or make friends, you'll start to believe it. Pay attention to the negative thoughts you have and put a stop to them.
If you start to think something negative, switch your focus and do something different like listening to music, going for a run, or focusing on a different subject.
It might help to write down the negative thoughts you have. Then, read through them to find where they're coming from. Try to stop the source of these harmful thoughts.
3. Don't let mistakes stop you.
Learn from the mistake and move on.
Instead of beating yourself up about it, think about what you learned or what you'd do differently next time, and keep going. Being afraid to make mistakes can stop you from learning and growing, so embrace them! Remember, everyone makes mistakes, even the most confident people.
You might mentally tell yourself, "I messed up on that test, but now I know what to study for next time."
4. Laugh at yourself.
Don't take yourself too seriously if you mess up or embarrass yourself.
You're human! Recognize that something funny happened and move on. The more you can laugh at yourself, the less pressure you put on yourself to do everything right. When people see that you can laugh at yourself, they may think you are confident.
This might take a little practice, but you'll become comfortable with humor over time.
5. Wear clothes that make you feel empowered.
Whatever you choose, wear something that makes you feel good about yourself.
You might put on your favorite outfit that you've had forever or splurge and treat yourself to new clothes. If you're self-conscious about your clothes, you probably won't be as outgoing and bold as you could be.
For example, if you love the way your favorite sweater makes you feel, wear it with a pair of jeans. If you've been saving up to buy a new top, get it and wear it to school!
Play up what you like about your appearance. For example, if you love your green eyes, wear purple or green clothes that really make your eyes pop.
Don't forget that you should be comfortable in your outfit, especially since you have to make it through the whole school day. Skip uncomfortable shoes or clothes that don't fit quite right.
6. Ask questions to be part of the conversation.
Get the answers you need while looking confident.
Instead of staying silent and hoping that someone will ask the teacher what you want to find out, stick your hand up and ask away! The teacher will think that you're interested in the class and you'll find out what you needed to know.
If you find it hard to ask questions, set yourself a goal of asking 1 question in class every day. You may find that the more often you do this, the easier it becomes.
Still afraid of asking questions in front of the class? Stick around after class or get there early to ask the teacher your question.
7. Practice putting yourself out there.
Overcome your shy tendencies by socializing or talking in class.
If you're used to putting your head down or waiting for others to speak, push yourself to raise your hand. Try to take little steps every day so you gradually build confidence.
Trying to socialize more? Say hi to someone new or ask someone how they're doing. Work your way up to longer conversations once you get to know the person and feel more comfortable.
8. Work on being a good student.
Attend your classes, take notes, and do the homework.
If you make the effort to learn, you'll feel more confident that you know the material. This can make it easier to take part in class discussions, answer questions, or take tests without anxiety.
If you know you'll be missing class, ask a classmate to take notes for you or get your assignments.
9. Try a new skill, class, or club.
Develop your interests or make new friends.
Think about the subjects and activities that you enjoy. Then, find ways to take classes or join clubs that you're passionate about. Chances are, you'll meet people that share the same interests and they may be easier to talk to.
For example, if you like German language class, join your school's German club. This gives you social opportunities to interact with schoolmates in a more casual setting.
You might be scared to try out for a team you really want to join. Go to tryouts feeling confident in your abilities to play and to improve. Remember that you don’t have to be an expert to get on the team, you just have to be willing to improve.
10. Say a few positive affirmations.
Give yourself a pep talk when you need a confidence boost.
If you know you'll be taking a test, talking in front of the class, or answering the teacher's questions, you might need extra self-assurance. Instead of panicking, take a few moments to remind yourself of your knowledge or abilities. Sit up straight and breathe deeply so you feel empowered.
For example, you could mentally remind yourself, "I've studied hard and I know this material," or, "Everyone's probably feeling nervous about this quiz, so I'm not alone."
Tips
Develop close friendships or work with a study group. Getting to know a few people really well can do wonders for your self-esteem!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Remind yourself of your good qualities.\\nThink about the skills, personality traits, and qualities that you're proud of.\\nWe all have days where we feel down about ourselves, but you have lots of great qualities! Take some time to think about or write down things that you like about yourself. Get out your journal or diary and make a list. This way you can remind yourself whenever you're feeling down.\\nFor example, you might love that you're compassionate and great at sports, or you might be proud that you're a little weird and fiercely loyal to your friends.\\n2. Silence your inner critic.\\nDon't think negative things about yourself.\\nSure, we've all felt like we've made mistakes or that we could do better, but if you're constantly telling yourself that you can't achieve things or make friends, you'll start to believe it. Pay attention to the negative thoughts you have and put a stop to them.\\nIf you start to think something negative, switch your focus and do something different like listening to music, going for a run, or focusing on a different subject.\\nIt might help to write down the negative thoughts you have. Then, read through them to find where they're coming from. Try to stop the source of these harmful thoughts.\\n3. Don't let mistakes stop you.\\nLearn from the mistake and move on.\\nInstead of beating yourself up about it, think about what you learned or what you'd do differently next time, and keep going. Being afraid to make mistakes can stop you from learning and growing, so embrace them! Remember, everyone makes mistakes, even the most confident people.\\nYou might mentally tell yourself, \\\"I messed up on that test, but now I know what to study for next time.\\\"\\n4. Laugh at yourself.\\nDon't take yourself too seriously if you mess up or embarrass yourself.\\nYou're human! Recognize that something funny happened and move on. The more you can laugh at yourself, the less pressure you put on yourself to do everything right. When people see that you can laugh at yourself, they may think you are confident.\\nThis might take a little practice, but you'll become comfortable with humor over time.\\n5. Wear clothes that make you feel empowered.\\nWhatever you choose, wear something that makes you feel good about yourself.\\nYou might put on your favorite outfit that you've had forever or splurge and treat yourself to new clothes. If you're self-conscious about your clothes, you probably won't be as outgoing and bold as you could be.\\nFor example, if you love the way your favorite sweater makes you feel, wear it with a pair of jeans. If you've been saving up to buy a new top, get it and wear it to school!\\nPlay up what you like about your appearance. For example, if you love your green eyes, wear purple or green clothes that really make your eyes pop.\\nDon't forget that you should be comfortable in your outfit, especially since you have to make it through the whole school day. Skip uncomfortable shoes or clothes that don't fit quite right.\\n6. Ask questions to be part of the conversation.\\nGet the answers you need while looking confident.\\nInstead of staying silent and hoping that someone will ask the teacher what you want to find out, stick your hand up and ask away! The teacher will think that you're interested in the class and you'll find out what you needed to know.\\nIf you find it hard to ask questions, set yourself a goal of asking 1 question in class every day. You may find that the more often you do this, the easier it becomes.\\nStill afraid of asking questions in front of the class? Stick around after class or get there early to ask the teacher your question.\\n7. Practice putting yourself out there.\\nOvercome your shy tendencies by socializing or talking in class.\\nIf you're used to putting your head down or waiting for others to speak, push yourself to raise your hand. Try to take little steps every day so you gradually build confidence.\\nTrying to socialize more? Say hi to someone new or ask someone how they're doing. Work your way up to longer conversations once you get to know the person and feel more comfortable.\\n8. Work on being a good student.\\nAttend your classes, take notes, and do the homework.\\nIf you make the effort to learn, you'll feel more confident that you know the material. This can make it easier to take part in class discussions, answer questions, or take tests without anxiety.\\nIf you know you'll be missing class, ask a classmate to take notes for you or get your assignments.\\n9. Try a new skill, class, or club.\\nDevelop your interests or make new friends.\\nThink about the subjects and activities that you enjoy. Then, find ways to take classes or join clubs that you're passionate about. Chances are, you'll meet people that share the same interests and they may be easier to talk to.\\nFor example, if you like German language class, join your school's German club. This gives you social opportunities to interact with schoolmates in a more casual setting.\\nYou might be scared to try out for a team you really want to join. Go to tryouts feeling confident in your abilities to play and to improve. Remember that you don’t have to be an expert to get on the team, you just have to be willing to improve.\\n10. Say a few positive affirmations.\\nGive yourself a pep talk when you need a confidence boost.\\nIf you know you'll be taking a test, talking in front of the class, or answering the teacher's questions, you might need extra self-assurance. Instead of panicking, take a few moments to remind yourself of your knowledge or abilities. Sit up straight and breathe deeply so you feel empowered.\\nFor example, you could mentally remind yourself, \\\"I've studied hard and I know this material,\\\" or, \\\"Everyone's probably feeling nervous about this quiz, so I'm not alone.\\\"\\nTips\\nDevelop close friendships or work with a study group. Getting to know a few people really well can do wonders for your self-esteem!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"School challenges people in different ways–whether you're starting out middle school, high school, or college. If you find it hard to speak up or you're afraid to try new things, work on building your confidence. You may find that developing a positive mindset, doing things you enjoy, and being around friends makes school a little easier. To help, we've gathered some great suggestions on how to become more self-assured at school.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself of your good qualities.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about the skills, personality traits, and qualities that you're proud of.\", \"描述\": \"We all have days where we feel down about ourselves, but you have lots of great qualities! Take some time to think about or write down things that you like about yourself. Get out your journal or diary and make a list. This way you can remind yourself whenever you're feeling down.\\nFor example, you might love that you're compassionate and great at sports, or you might be proud that you're a little weird and fiercely loyal to your friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Silence your inner critic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't think negative things about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, we've all felt like we've made mistakes or that we could do better, but if you're constantly telling yourself that you can't achieve things or make friends, you'll start to believe it. Pay attention to the negative thoughts you have and put a stop to them.\\nIf you start to think something negative, switch your focus and do something different like listening to music, going for a run, or focusing on a different subject.\\nIt might help to write down the negative thoughts you have. Then, read through them to find where they're coming from. Try to stop the source of these harmful thoughts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't let mistakes stop you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn from the mistake and move on.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of beating yourself up about it, think about what you learned or what you'd do differently next time, and keep going. Being afraid to make mistakes can stop you from learning and growing, so embrace them! Remember, everyone makes mistakes, even the most confident people.\\nYou might mentally tell yourself, \\\"I messed up on that test, but now I know what to study for next time.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Laugh at yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't take yourself too seriously if you mess up or embarrass yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You're human! Recognize that something funny happened and move on. The more you can laugh at yourself, the less pressure you put on yourself to do everything right. When people see that you can laugh at yourself, they may think you are confident.\\nThis might take a little practice, but you'll become comfortable with humor over time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that make you feel empowered.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Whatever you choose, wear something that makes you feel good about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You might put on your favorite outfit that you've had forever or splurge and treat yourself to new clothes. If you're self-conscious about your clothes, you probably won't be as outgoing and bold as you could be.\\nFor example, if you love the way your favorite sweater makes you feel, wear it with a pair of jeans. If you've been saving up to buy a new top, get it and wear it to school!\\nPlay up what you like about your appearance. For example, if you love your green eyes, wear purple or green clothes that really make your eyes pop.\\nDon't forget that you should be comfortable in your outfit, especially since you have to make it through the whole school day. Skip uncomfortable shoes or clothes that don't fit quite right.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask questions to be part of the conversation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get the answers you need while looking confident.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of staying silent and hoping that someone will ask the teacher what you want to find out, stick your hand up and ask away! The teacher will think that you're interested in the class and you'll find out what you needed to know.\\nIf you find it hard to ask questions, set yourself a goal of asking 1 question in class every day. You may find that the more often you do this, the easier it becomes.\\nStill afraid of asking questions in front of the class? Stick around after class or get there early to ask the teacher your question.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Practice putting yourself out there.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Overcome your shy tendencies by socializing or talking in class.\", \"描述\": \"If you're used to putting your head down or waiting for others to speak, push yourself to raise your hand. Try to take little steps every day so you gradually build confidence.\\nTrying to socialize more? Say hi to someone new or ask someone how they're doing. Work your way up to longer conversations once you get to know the person and feel more comfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Work on being a good student.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attend your classes, take notes, and do the homework.\", \"描述\": \"If you make the effort to learn, you'll feel more confident that you know the material. This can make it easier to take part in class discussions, answer questions, or take tests without anxiety.\\nIf you know you'll be missing class, ask a classmate to take notes for you or get your assignments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Try a new skill, class, or club.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop your interests or make new friends.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the subjects and activities that you enjoy. Then, find ways to take classes or join clubs that you're passionate about. Chances are, you'll meet people that share the same interests and they may be easier to talk to.\\nFor example, if you like German language class, join your school's German club. This gives you social opportunities to interact with schoolmates in a more casual setting.\\nYou might be scared to try out for a team you really want to join. Go to tryouts feeling confident in your abilities to play and to improve. Remember that you don’t have to be an expert to get on the team, you just have to be willing to improve.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Say a few positive affirmations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a pep talk when you need a confidence boost.\", \"描述\": \"If you know you'll be taking a test, talking in front of the class, or answering the teacher's questions, you might need extra self-assurance. Instead of panicking, take a few moments to remind yourself of your knowledge or abilities. Sit up straight and breathe deeply so you feel empowered.\\nFor example, you could mentally remind yourself, \\\"I've studied hard and I know this material,\\\" or, \\\"Everyone's probably feeling nervous about this quiz, so I'm not alone.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Develop close friendships or work with a study group. Getting to know a few people really well can do wonders for your self-esteem!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,940 | How to Be More Effective at Work | 1. Getting Organized
1-1. Make a checklist.
Creating a work checklist or to-do list can help you stay on track at work. Limit how many items are on your to-do list so you don’t stress yourself out. Choose the three most important tasks you need to get done. These are big, important, and crucial tasks that must get done before you do anything else. Fill the rest of your checklist with minor tasks to accomplish if you finish your big tasks.
Write your checklist the night before and focus on that coming day only.
Be specific in your checklist, break down tasks into smaller chunks, and include time estimates.
1-2. Track where you waste time.
Look at your patterns on how you spend time and where you waste it. Do you find yourself clicking on Facebook a little too often? Or having too many chats with your coworkers in the break room? Figure out where you waste time so you can stop and be more effective at work.
1-3. Break up your projects into smaller tasks.
It can be hard to feel accomplished if you spent the entire day on one thing, and still have not finished it. Break up big projects into small successes to help you feel motivated and be more effective at work.
If you worked on creating a budget for a company all day, think of it as all the small steps you did to create the budget. Maybe you contacted business owners, created spreadsheets, and calculated where money was being wasted, so you actually accomplished three tasks.
1-4. Create a daily routine.
Tell your mind and body that it is time to work by having a routine system. This might mean that every morning you start off the same way (such as you doing stretches, drinking coffee, and turning on a pump up playlist).
Have designated times throughout the day where you are allowed to check your email, so you don’t waste time impulsively checking it all day.
2. Staying Focused at Work
2-1. Check in with yourself.
When you get to work, spend five minutes with your to-do list thinking about your day. Think about how you are going to accomplish your tasks for the day. Every hour force yourself to refocus. Look at how you spent the past hour and ask yourself if it was productive. Commit to making the next hour productive. When the day ends, ask yourself how your day went. Was it productive? How can you change to make tomorrow more successful?
2-2. Know how to do your job well.
If you know how to do your job like the back of your hand, then it will require less energy. Knowing what you are doing will allow you to excel at your work. Although you should still challenge yourself to new things and continue to outdo yourself to build your skills, contribute to your company, and to keep yourself from getting bored.
Seek further training to help you master your job if you can’t get things done because you don’t have the right skills or knowledge.
2-3. Stay motivated to avoid procrastination.
A big reason for procrastination is because you are dreading to do something. Force yourself to do things in bursts. Force yourself to start a chunk of something even if it is just for five minutes, then stop if you need to. Once you start making progress on something, you will be more motivated to keep going and working on it longer and longer until it is finished.
Turn your phone off and clear your desk to avoid distractions that encourage procrastination.
Do challenging tasks before lunch when you are the most motivated.
2-4. Worry about what you can control.
Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Don’t worry about and stress about what is beyond your control. If you start getting worried about what a coworker is doing or stressing about another department, it will just waste your own time. You will feel more empowered and be more effective at work if you just focus on what is in your control.
2-5. Work efficiently.
In order to be an effective worker, you have to be an efficient worker. Stop multi-tasking. Focus on one task at a time. If you try to do ten things at once, you won’t complete anything.
2-6. Collaborate with your coworkers.
Work in a team to accomplish tasks faster and to bring new ideas to projects. Working with others and asking for help when you need it will help you be a more effective worker.
3. Taking Care of Yourself
3-1. Take breaks.
You can’t be effective at work if you don’t allow yourself time to take a break. Allow yourself moments to break from work every couple of hours. Eat a snack, go on a walk, or meditate to recharge your brain to be more effective.
3-2. Stop working at a set time.
If you force yourself to stop working when work is over, you will be more effective when you are actually at work. Set a firm cut off time for when work is over and stick to it. Plan something interesting after work to encourage yourself to stop working. Have a routine after work to wind yourself down, such as taking a walk or keeping a journal.
3-3. Relieve stress.
The key to staying stress free is to feel in control. Keep your days planned to help you feel in control. Make sure you have a clear idea of what is expected from you at work to help avoid stress. Do stress reducing activities after work (such as reading, listening to music, doing yoga, or doing a creative hobby).
Tips
If you are unmotivated at work because you are unhappy at your job, consider searching for another job.
Having a positive life outside of work can make it easier to work hard while you are at work.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Organized\\n1-1. Make a checklist.\\nCreating a work checklist or to-do list can help you stay on track at work. Limit how many items are on your to-do list so you don’t stress yourself out. Choose the three most important tasks you need to get done. These are big, important, and crucial tasks that must get done before you do anything else. Fill the rest of your checklist with minor tasks to accomplish if you finish your big tasks.\\nWrite your checklist the night before and focus on that coming day only.\\nBe specific in your checklist, break down tasks into smaller chunks, and include time estimates.\\n1-2. Track where you waste time.\\nLook at your patterns on how you spend time and where you waste it. Do you find yourself clicking on Facebook a little too often? Or having too many chats with your coworkers in the break room? Figure out where you waste time so you can stop and be more effective at work.\\n1-3. Break up your projects into smaller tasks.\\nIt can be hard to feel accomplished if you spent the entire day on one thing, and still have not finished it. Break up big projects into small successes to help you feel motivated and be more effective at work.\\nIf you worked on creating a budget for a company all day, think of it as all the small steps you did to create the budget. Maybe you contacted business owners, created spreadsheets, and calculated where money was being wasted, so you actually accomplished three tasks.\\n1-4. Create a daily routine.\\nTell your mind and body that it is time to work by having a routine system. This might mean that every morning you start off the same way (such as you doing stretches, drinking coffee, and turning on a pump up playlist).\\nHave designated times throughout the day where you are allowed to check your email, so you don’t waste time impulsively checking it all day.\\n2. Staying Focused at Work\\n2-1. Check in with yourself.\\nWhen you get to work, spend five minutes with your to-do list thinking about your day. Think about how you are going to accomplish your tasks for the day. Every hour force yourself to refocus. Look at how you spent the past hour and ask yourself if it was productive. Commit to making the next hour productive. When the day ends, ask yourself how your day went. Was it productive? How can you change to make tomorrow more successful?\\n2-2. Know how to do your job well.\\nIf you know how to do your job like the back of your hand, then it will require less energy. Knowing what you are doing will allow you to excel at your work. Although you should still challenge yourself to new things and continue to outdo yourself to build your skills, contribute to your company, and to keep yourself from getting bored.\\nSeek further training to help you master your job if you can’t get things done because you don’t have the right skills or knowledge.\\n2-3. Stay motivated to avoid procrastination.\\nA big reason for procrastination is because you are dreading to do something. Force yourself to do things in bursts. Force yourself to start a chunk of something even if it is just for five minutes, then stop if you need to. Once you start making progress on something, you will be more motivated to keep going and working on it longer and longer until it is finished.\\nTurn your phone off and clear your desk to avoid distractions that encourage procrastination.\\nDo challenging tasks before lunch when you are the most motivated.\\n2-4. Worry about what you can control.\\nFocus your time and energy on what you can control. Don’t worry about and stress about what is beyond your control. If you start getting worried about what a coworker is doing or stressing about another department, it will just waste your own time. You will feel more empowered and be more effective at work if you just focus on what is in your control.\\n2-5. Work efficiently.\\nIn order to be an effective worker, you have to be an efficient worker. Stop multi-tasking. Focus on one task at a time. If you try to do ten things at once, you won’t complete anything.\\n2-6. Collaborate with your coworkers.\\nWork in a team to accomplish tasks faster and to bring new ideas to projects. Working with others and asking for help when you need it will help you be a more effective worker.\\n3. Taking Care of Yourself\\n3-1. Take breaks.\\nYou can’t be effective at work if you don’t allow yourself time to take a break. Allow yourself moments to break from work every couple of hours. Eat a snack, go on a walk, or meditate to recharge your brain to be more effective.\\n3-2. Stop working at a set time.\\nIf you force yourself to stop working when work is over, you will be more effective when you are actually at work. Set a firm cut off time for when work is over and stick to it. Plan something interesting after work to encourage yourself to stop working. Have a routine after work to wind yourself down, such as taking a walk or keeping a journal.\\n3-3. Relieve stress.\\nThe key to staying stress free is to feel in control. Keep your days planned to help you feel in control. Make sure you have a clear idea of what is expected from you at work to help avoid stress. Do stress reducing activities after work (such as reading, listening to music, doing yoga, or doing a creative hobby).\\nTips\\nIf you are unmotivated at work because you are unhappy at your job, consider searching for another job.\\nHaving a positive life outside of work can make it easier to work hard while you are at work.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes it can be difficult to stay motivated and effective at work, even if you want to be. You can get out of a work slump if you change your mindset and how you tackle your job. If you organize your tasks, stay focused at work, and take care of yourself, you can be more effective at work.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a checklist.\", \"描述\": \"Creating a work checklist or to-do list can help you stay on track at work. Limit how many items are on your to-do list so you don’t stress yourself out. Choose the three most important tasks you need to get done. These are big, important, and crucial tasks that must get done before you do anything else. Fill the rest of your checklist with minor tasks to accomplish if you finish your big tasks.\\nWrite your checklist the night before and focus on that coming day only.\\nBe specific in your checklist, break down tasks into smaller chunks, and include time estimates.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Track where you waste time.\", \"描述\": \"Look at your patterns on how you spend time and where you waste it. Do you find yourself clicking on Facebook a little too often? Or having too many chats with your coworkers in the break room? Figure out where you waste time so you can stop and be more effective at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break up your projects into smaller tasks.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to feel accomplished if you spent the entire day on one thing, and still have not finished it. Break up big projects into small successes to help you feel motivated and be more effective at work.\\nIf you worked on creating a budget for a company all day, think of it as all the small steps you did to create the budget. Maybe you contacted business owners, created spreadsheets, and calculated where money was being wasted, so you actually accomplished three tasks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a daily routine.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your mind and body that it is time to work by having a routine system. This might mean that every morning you start off the same way (such as you doing stretches, drinking coffee, and turning on a pump up playlist).\\nHave designated times throughout the day where you are allowed to check your email, so you don’t waste time impulsively checking it all day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Focused at Work\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check in with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When you get to work, spend five minutes with your to-do list thinking about your day. Think about how you are going to accomplish your tasks for the day. Every hour force yourself to refocus. Look at how you spent the past hour and ask yourself if it was productive. Commit to making the next hour productive. When the day ends, ask yourself how your day went. Was it productive? How can you change to make tomorrow more successful?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know how to do your job well.\", \"描述\": \"If you know how to do your job like the back of your hand, then it will require less energy. Knowing what you are doing will allow you to excel at your work. Although you should still challenge yourself to new things and continue to outdo yourself to build your skills, contribute to your company, and to keep yourself from getting bored.\\nSeek further training to help you master your job if you can’t get things done because you don’t have the right skills or knowledge.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay motivated to avoid procrastination.\", \"描述\": \"A big reason for procrastination is because you are dreading to do something. Force yourself to do things in bursts. Force yourself to start a chunk of something even if it is just for five minutes, then stop if you need to. Once you start making progress on something, you will be more motivated to keep going and working on it longer and longer until it is finished.\\nTurn your phone off and clear your desk to avoid distractions that encourage procrastination.\\nDo challenging tasks before lunch when you are the most motivated.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Worry about what you can control.\", \"描述\": \"Focus your time and energy on what you can control. Don’t worry about and stress about what is beyond your control. If you start getting worried about what a coworker is doing or stressing about another department, it will just waste your own time. You will feel more empowered and be more effective at work if you just focus on what is in your control.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work efficiently.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be an effective worker, you have to be an efficient worker. Stop multi-tasking. Focus on one task at a time. If you try to do ten things at once, you won’t complete anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Collaborate with your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Work in a team to accomplish tasks faster and to bring new ideas to projects. Working with others and asking for help when you need it will help you be a more effective worker.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take breaks.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t be effective at work if you don’t allow yourself time to take a break. Allow yourself moments to break from work every couple of hours. Eat a snack, go on a walk, or meditate to recharge your brain to be more effective.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop working at a set time.\", \"描述\": \"If you force yourself to stop working when work is over, you will be more effective when you are actually at work. Set a firm cut off time for when work is over and stick to it. Plan something interesting after work to encourage yourself to stop working. Have a routine after work to wind yourself down, such as taking a walk or keeping a journal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Relieve stress.\", \"描述\": \"The key to staying stress free is to feel in control. Keep your days planned to help you feel in control. Make sure you have a clear idea of what is expected from you at work to help avoid stress. Do stress reducing activities after work (such as reading, listening to music, doing yoga, or doing a creative hobby).\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are unmotivated at work because you are unhappy at your job, consider searching for another job.\\n\", \"Having a positive life outside of work can make it easier to work hard while you are at work.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,941 | How to Be More Efficient at Work | 1. Creating Focus
1-1. Keep a clean, orderly work space.
Achieving efficiency at work can sometimes be as simple as clearing the clutter from your work area.
A disorderly work area is a work area that can hinder your productivity. If you're constantly struggling to find specific tools or documents in a mountain of clutter, serious work time is being wasted. Only keep items that you use daily out and about - everything else should be squirreled away where it's out of the way but also quickly.
If you work in an office, arrange your office space and desk so that you can quickly and easily find whatever you need to work. If you don't work in an office, the same principles still apply. For instance, if you work in a bike repair shop keep your tools clean and organized so that you'll be able to find them instantly when you need them. Almost every work area benefits from being kept clean.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b0\/Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b0\/Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Office workers and other people who handle large numbers of documents should create a filing system that is logical and organized. Keep documents that you use frequently close at hand. Stash other documents according to alphabetical (or some other logical) order.
1-2. Keep your workplace well-stocked.
Make sure that you have the supplies and tools needed to do your job. In an office, this means you should have things such as hole-punches, staple removers, calculators, etc. at the ready. Outside of an office setting, the tools are different, but the fundamental principles are the same - have the things you need to work effectively before you have to start working. Scientists working with complex graphing applications and mechanics working with socket wrenches will both benefit from having their tools prepped and ready beforehand.
This also means to make sure you have a good supply of whatever consumable supplies your job requires - staplers need staples, carpenters need nails, teachers need chalk, etc.
Ensure your tools are well-maintained. One essential broken tool can bottleneck the rest of your work flow if you can't proceed without it! Save time in the long run by spending a few moments periodically to clean and maintain your tools.
1-3. Keep a consolidated schedule.
If you've been flying by the seat of your pants so far, making any sort of effort to plan out your day will probably increase your working efficiency. To keep a truly effective schedule though, limit yourself to one comprehensive planner (optionally supplemented with one calendar in your office or cubicle for long-term objectives.) Don't needlessly complicate your work by keeping more than one schedule or by scrawling out a huge collection of notes that you'll inevitably lose. You want to be able to look in one specific place to see what you need to do.
Organize each day by creating a "to do" list. Begin with the highest priorities of the day so that they are most likely to get done. Put less important tasks at the end the list. Start at the top of the list at the beginning of your work day. If you do not complete the list by the end of the day, tackle the uncompleted items the next day.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/cd\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cd\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Set a time frame and deadline for your most important projects, and be realistic about the length of time they will take. You don't want to set yourself up to fail - it's better to ask for more time at the start of a project, rather than right before it's due.
1-4. Eliminate your personal distractions.
Different work places have different distractions - some jobs may come with a particularly talkative coworker who just won't leave you alone. Others might be oppressively silent, causing you to get distracted by even the quietest noises. Do what you must to make sure you can stay focused on your work. If your job allows you to safely listen to music, take an MP3 player to work with you. You might even consider posting notes at your work station notifying coworkers not to distract you. It might seem rude, but it's not - it's a reasonable and effective method to get people to leave you alone while you're working. Remember, you can socialize to your heart's content during breaks and meals.
One very common distraction is spending time on recreational internet sites. One study showed that about two thirds of workers waste at least a little time on websites not related to their work every day. Luckily, most browsers allow you to download free productivity aids that allow you to block problem websites. Search your browser's extension store for "website blocker" or "productivity aid." You're likely to get at least a few free, effective results.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d8\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d8\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Other good ways to avoid distraction are by screening your calls (to avoid needless telephone conversations) and minimizing drop-in meetings.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a4\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a4\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
1-5. Use breaks to handle personal business.
Oddly, breaks can increase, rather than hinder your workplace efficiency. First, breaks offer you much-needed rest. Without this rest, you may become fatigued, working more slowly or with less proficiency. Second, breaks give you a chance to your distractions. Use your breaks to do everything that might otherwise take you away from your work. Do you find yourself daydreaming about a relative you've been meaning to call when you should be working? Call them on your break, eliminating your distraction!
2. Enacting Effective Work Strategies
2-1. Break your responsibilities into manageable pieces.
Big projects can be intimidating - if they're big enough, it's easy to put them off, wasting time on less-important work until you're forced to tackle the entire project right up against the deadline. As an efficient worker, you should do important work first, even when that means doing a small part of a large task. It doesn't feel as rewarding to do a small part of a big task as it does to complete an entire small task, but it's a smart use of your time. In the long run, you'll finish your most important tasks faster if you work on them a little bit every day.
For example, if you've got to make a big presentation in one month's time, set a goal of creating an outline today. It's not terribly time-consuming, so it won't distract you from your other work, but it's an important first step that makes the rest of the process quicker and easier to complete.
2-2. Lighten your work load by delegating work.
Unless you're at the very bottom of the workplace totem pole, you may have the opportunity to split up particularly repetitive tasks among one or more of your subordinates to save yourself time. Don't give your underlings projects that only know how to complete satisfactorily. Instead, give them the time-consuming, monotonous tasks that keep you from using your talents on more important work. If you delegate work, remember to follow up with your assistant and give him/her a deadline. Always be gracious with your subordinates when they help you - if they feel like you appreciate them, they'll work hard for you on future projects.
If you're an intern, an entry-level employee, or someone else who's low-ranking in your company, you can still try to divide particularly monotonous work with employees who are at the same level as you (with their permission as well as the permission of your supervisor, of course). If you use a coworker's help, be ready to return the favor![[Image:Be More Efficient at Work Step 07Bullet01.jpg center
If you've got a great relationship with your boss, you can even see if he can delegate some of the work to others for you![[Image:Be More Efficient at Work Step 07Bullet02.jpg|center
2-3. Keep meetings lean.
There's a reason everyone hates meetings - according to a 2012 survey, almost half of all respondents consider meetings to be the biggest source of wasted time at work - bigger, even, than time spent on personal and recreational websites. Meetings can be vital for discussing goals and establishing a forward vision. Left unchecked, however, meetings all too often become bloated affairs, eating up hours (or in extreme cases, even days ) of your time without anything important being decided. Here's a few tips to make your meetings as effective as possible:
Establish an agenda before every meeting so that the time set aside is used to its full potential. Include time frames in which certain topics of discussion should be addressed. your agenda as much as you can - if other topics arise, recommend they be discussed later via a one-on-one office discussion.
Invite the smallest number of people as possible. Keeping your meetings to the bare minimum in terms of attendees reduces the chance that the conversation will veer off-topic. It also keeps everyone who doesn't need to be there at their desks, working, which is overall more productive.
Keep slide presentations to a minimum. There is ample debate about whether slide presentations (PowerPoint, etc.) help or hinder the efficiency of a meeting. This much is clear: If you use slides in your presentation, keep them as concise and informative as possible. Use slides to display pictures and data that can't be conveyed through your speech, not the entire content of your presentation. And don't mess around with animations or transitions, either, as it wastes time.
Finally, as an overarching principle, before you start the meeting and make that decision as quickly as possible.
2-4. Nip office drama in the bud.
Workplaces can, unfortunately, be terribly stressful places. If tempers flare, address any ill will immediately and directly. This may mean you, the person you're fighting with, or both of you need to make sincere apologies. Do this sooner rather than later. If you let a few fights fester into a grudge, your efficiency will suffer in the long run as you waste time working around this person and avoiding him/her in the workplace. More importantly, you'll be miserable - don't let workplace drama ruin your efficiency and your mood!
Don't be afraid to involve a mediator. Businesses know that drama and hurt feelings can hinder work flow, so many employ people whose specific duties include resolving workplace disputes. Contact your workplace's human resources personnel if you feel frustrated, sad, or scared because of someone else in the workplace.
When all is said and done, you don't have to be friends with a colleague you've argued with - you just have to be able to work with him or her. Be polite and tactful in the workplace, even with people you hate.
3. Making Lifestyle Changes
3-1. Be well rested.
Being tired has never improved the quality of anyone's work. Tiredness can slow your output, dull your performance, and, if you're prone to sleeping spells, seriously embarrass you in important meetings. On top of this, severely insufficient sleep has been correlated with a variety of health problems. Don't fall asleep at your desk or miss work because you've gotten sick - get 7-8 hours of sleep a night to be at your best.
At best, workplace fatigue can be a minor distraction. At worst, it can be a serious safety concern. If you have a job where peoples' safety is at stake (for instance, if you're an air traffic controller or you drive a semi truck), it's imperative that you keep a good sleep schedule.
3-2. Get exercise.
Science has shown that a good exercise regimen improves your workplace mood and productivity. This is especially true for sedentary office jobs. If you spend most of your time at work sitting in front of a computer, make special effort to spend a little time every day exercising - not only will it make it easier to sit still at work, but it will make you feel happier, sharper, and more motivated.
If you're starting an exercise routine for the first time, try a moderate workout combining with some.
3-3. Keep an elevated mood.
If you're trying to improve your working efficiency, you may be tempted to pursue your work with dogged seriousness. Often, this isn't a good idea - you may increase your efficiency in the short term, but if you never allow yourself any pleasure at work, it's easy to burn yourself out, leading to fatigue, stress, and a lack of motivation. Try to keep high spirits - if you feel good at work, you'll be more likely to stay motivated and ambitious.
Do small things to improve your mood that won't hinder your productivity - listen to music through headphones, take stretch breaks, or take your laptop to the break room for some peace and quiet.
Make the most of your meal breaks - relish the chance to enjoy good food and tell jokes with your workplace friends.
Use coffee with caution. Coffee can be a fantastic pick-me-up on days when you're feeling especially drained, but if you use it every day, you'll become dependent on it and it will cease to give you any benefits.
3-4. Motivate yourself.
It's easier to work efficiently if you have a good reason to work. If you're occasionally having difficulty getting yourself going, think about the reasons that led you to your job in the first place - your life's goals, your dreams, and your vision for yourself. Try to think of your work as a means to an end - the "end" being your ideal vision for your life. If you enjoy your job, try thinking about how your work makes you feel - do you feel fulfilled and accomplished after you've done it?
Think about the good things your work allows you to have. Perhaps you owe your house or your car to the money you've earned through your job, or maybe your job allows you to send your children to school. Also think of your job's "benefits" - medical and/or dental insurance for your family, for instance.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a1\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a1\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Think about the consequences if you don't work. What things will you have to give up if you lose your source of income? In what ways will it affect your family or other people close to you?
3-5. Reward yourself.
If you've successfully increased your work efficiency, celebrate - you deserve it. It's not easy to lose bad habits and cultivate good ones, so reward yourself for your hard work. Buy yourself a drink after work on Friday, meet with some friends for a night out, or just lay in bed with a book - whatever makes you happy after a long work week, do it. Rewarding yourself increases your feeling of accomplishment, which is an important part of keeping your motivation up.
Your reward doesn't have to be big or grandiose, and it shouldn't be something that's financially irresponsible. Modest, moderate rewards are best. Save the new Rolex for a special occasion.
Tips
Implement a delayed gratification system in which you do the least pleasing projects as soon as possible rather than leaving them until last. This way you don't spend your day dreading the project and trying to avoid it. Doing the dreaded project first will most likely leave you feeling satisfied, and you can end your day on a good note with the more pleasing or less stressful projects.
Try working from home if you can. This may improve your productivity.
Making sure everything has a place and all of the items are neatly put away gives you ample workspace without having to work around clutter.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating Focus\\n1-1. Keep a clean, orderly work space.\\nAchieving efficiency at work can sometimes be as simple as clearing the clutter from your work area. \\nA disorderly work area is a work area that can hinder your productivity. If you're constantly struggling to find specific tools or documents in a mountain of clutter, serious work time is being wasted. Only keep items that you use daily out and about - everything else should be squirreled away where it's out of the way but also quickly.\\nIf you work in an office, arrange your office space and desk so that you can quickly and easily find whatever you need to work. If you don't work in an office, the same principles still apply. For instance, if you work in a bike repair shop keep your tools clean and organized so that you'll be able to find them instantly when you need them. Almost every work area benefits from being kept clean.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/b\\\\/b0\\\\/Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/b\\\\/b0\\\\/Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nOffice workers and other people who handle large numbers of documents should create a filing system that is logical and organized. Keep documents that you use frequently close at hand. Stash other documents according to alphabetical (or some other logical) order.\\n1-2. Keep your workplace well-stocked.\\nMake sure that you have the supplies and tools needed to do your job. In an office, this means you should have things such as hole-punches, staple removers, calculators, etc. at the ready. Outside of an office setting, the tools are different, but the fundamental principles are the same - have the things you need to work effectively before you have to start working. Scientists working with complex graphing applications and mechanics working with socket wrenches will both benefit from having their tools prepped and ready beforehand.\\nThis also means to make sure you have a good supply of whatever consumable supplies your job requires - staplers need staples, carpenters need nails, teachers need chalk, etc.\\nEnsure your tools are well-maintained. One essential broken tool can bottleneck the rest of your work flow if you can't proceed without it! Save time in the long run by spending a few moments periodically to clean and maintain your tools.\\n1-3. Keep a consolidated schedule.\\nIf you've been flying by the seat of your pants so far, making any sort of effort to plan out your day will probably increase your working efficiency. To keep a truly effective schedule though, limit yourself to one comprehensive planner (optionally supplemented with one calendar in your office or cubicle for long-term objectives.) Don't needlessly complicate your work by keeping more than one schedule or by scrawling out a huge collection of notes that you'll inevitably lose. You want to be able to look in one specific place to see what you need to do.\\nOrganize each day by creating a \\\"to do\\\" list. Begin with the highest priorities of the day so that they are most likely to get done. Put less important tasks at the end the list. Start at the top of the list at the beginning of your work day. If you do not complete the list by the end of the day, tackle the uncompleted items the next day.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/cd\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/cd\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nSet a time frame and deadline for your most important projects, and be realistic about the length of time they will take. You don't want to set yourself up to fail - it's better to ask for more time at the start of a project, rather than right before it's due.\\n1-4. Eliminate your personal distractions.\\nDifferent work places have different distractions - some jobs may come with a particularly talkative coworker who just won't leave you alone. Others might be oppressively silent, causing you to get distracted by even the quietest noises. Do what you must to make sure you can stay focused on your work. If your job allows you to safely listen to music, take an MP3 player to work with you. You might even consider posting notes at your work station notifying coworkers not to distract you. It might seem rude, but it's not - it's a reasonable and effective method to get people to leave you alone while you're working. Remember, you can socialize to your heart's content during breaks and meals.\\nOne very common distraction is spending time on recreational internet sites. One study showed that about two thirds of workers waste at least a little time on websites not related to their work every day. Luckily, most browsers allow you to download free productivity aids that allow you to block problem websites. Search your browser's extension store for \\\"website blocker\\\" or \\\"productivity aid.\\\" You're likely to get at least a few free, effective results.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d8\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d8\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nOther good ways to avoid distraction are by screening your calls (to avoid needless telephone conversations) and minimizing drop-in meetings.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a4\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a4\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-5. Use breaks to handle personal business.\\nOddly, breaks can increase, rather than hinder your workplace efficiency. First, breaks offer you much-needed rest. Without this rest, you may become fatigued, working more slowly or with less proficiency. Second, breaks give you a chance to your distractions. Use your breaks to do everything that might otherwise take you away from your work. Do you find yourself daydreaming about a relative you've been meaning to call when you should be working? Call them on your break, eliminating your distraction!\\n2. Enacting Effective Work Strategies\\n2-1. Break your responsibilities into manageable pieces.\\nBig projects can be intimidating - if they're big enough, it's easy to put them off, wasting time on less-important work until you're forced to tackle the entire project right up against the deadline. As an efficient worker, you should do important work first, even when that means doing a small part of a large task. It doesn't feel as rewarding to do a small part of a big task as it does to complete an entire small task, but it's a smart use of your time. In the long run, you'll finish your most important tasks faster if you work on them a little bit every day.\\nFor example, if you've got to make a big presentation in one month's time, set a goal of creating an outline today. It's not terribly time-consuming, so it won't distract you from your other work, but it's an important first step that makes the rest of the process quicker and easier to complete.\\n2-2. Lighten your work load by delegating work.\\nUnless you're at the very bottom of the workplace totem pole, you may have the opportunity to split up particularly repetitive tasks among one or more of your subordinates to save yourself time. Don't give your underlings projects that only know how to complete satisfactorily. Instead, give them the time-consuming, monotonous tasks that keep you from using your talents on more important work. If you delegate work, remember to follow up with your assistant and give him/her a deadline. Always be gracious with your subordinates when they help you - if they feel like you appreciate them, they'll work hard for you on future projects.\\nIf you're an intern, an entry-level employee, or someone else who's low-ranking in your company, you can still try to divide particularly monotonous work with employees who are at the same level as you (with their permission as well as the permission of your supervisor, of course). If you use a coworker's help, be ready to return the favor![[Image:Be More Efficient at Work Step 07Bullet01.jpg center\\nIf you've got a great relationship with your boss, you can even see if he can delegate some of the work to others for you![[Image:Be More Efficient at Work Step 07Bullet02.jpg|center\\n2-3. Keep meetings lean.\\nThere's a reason everyone hates meetings - according to a 2012 survey, almost half of all respondents consider meetings to be the biggest source of wasted time at work - bigger, even, than time spent on personal and recreational websites. Meetings can be vital for discussing goals and establishing a forward vision. Left unchecked, however, meetings all too often become bloated affairs, eating up hours (or in extreme cases, even days ) of your time without anything important being decided. Here's a few tips to make your meetings as effective as possible:\\nEstablish an agenda before every meeting so that the time set aside is used to its full potential. Include time frames in which certain topics of discussion should be addressed. your agenda as much as you can - if other topics arise, recommend they be discussed later via a one-on-one office discussion.\\nInvite the smallest number of people as possible. Keeping your meetings to the bare minimum in terms of attendees reduces the chance that the conversation will veer off-topic. It also keeps everyone who doesn't need to be there at their desks, working, which is overall more productive.\\nKeep slide presentations to a minimum. There is ample debate about whether slide presentations (PowerPoint, etc.) help or hinder the efficiency of a meeting. This much is clear: If you use slides in your presentation, keep them as concise and informative as possible. Use slides to display pictures and data that can't be conveyed through your speech, not the entire content of your presentation. And don't mess around with animations or transitions, either, as it wastes time.\\nFinally, as an overarching principle, before you start the meeting and make that decision as quickly as possible.\\n2-4. Nip office drama in the bud.\\nWorkplaces can, unfortunately, be terribly stressful places. If tempers flare, address any ill will immediately and directly. This may mean you, the person you're fighting with, or both of you need to make sincere apologies. Do this sooner rather than later. If you let a few fights fester into a grudge, your efficiency will suffer in the long run as you waste time working around this person and avoiding him/her in the workplace. More importantly, you'll be miserable - don't let workplace drama ruin your efficiency and your mood!\\nDon't be afraid to involve a mediator. Businesses know that drama and hurt feelings can hinder work flow, so many employ people whose specific duties include resolving workplace disputes. Contact your workplace's human resources personnel if you feel frustrated, sad, or scared because of someone else in the workplace.\\nWhen all is said and done, you don't have to be friends with a colleague you've argued with - you just have to be able to work with him or her. Be polite and tactful in the workplace, even with people you hate.\\n3. Making Lifestyle Changes\\n3-1. Be well rested.\\nBeing tired has never improved the quality of anyone's work. Tiredness can slow your output, dull your performance, and, if you're prone to sleeping spells, seriously embarrass you in important meetings. On top of this, severely insufficient sleep has been correlated with a variety of health problems. Don't fall asleep at your desk or miss work because you've gotten sick - get 7-8 hours of sleep a night to be at your best.\\nAt best, workplace fatigue can be a minor distraction. At worst, it can be a serious safety concern. If you have a job where peoples' safety is at stake (for instance, if you're an air traffic controller or you drive a semi truck), it's imperative that you keep a good sleep schedule.\\n3-2. Get exercise.\\nScience has shown that a good exercise regimen improves your workplace mood and productivity. This is especially true for sedentary office jobs. If you spend most of your time at work sitting in front of a computer, make special effort to spend a little time every day exercising - not only will it make it easier to sit still at work, but it will make you feel happier, sharper, and more motivated.\\nIf you're starting an exercise routine for the first time, try a moderate workout combining with some.\\n3-3. Keep an elevated mood.\\nIf you're trying to improve your working efficiency, you may be tempted to pursue your work with dogged seriousness. Often, this isn't a good idea - you may increase your efficiency in the short term, but if you never allow yourself any pleasure at work, it's easy to burn yourself out, leading to fatigue, stress, and a lack of motivation. Try to keep high spirits - if you feel good at work, you'll be more likely to stay motivated and ambitious.\\nDo small things to improve your mood that won't hinder your productivity - listen to music through headphones, take stretch breaks, or take your laptop to the break room for some peace and quiet.\\nMake the most of your meal breaks - relish the chance to enjoy good food and tell jokes with your workplace friends.\\nUse coffee with caution. Coffee can be a fantastic pick-me-up on days when you're feeling especially drained, but if you use it every day, you'll become dependent on it and it will cease to give you any benefits.\\n3-4. Motivate yourself.\\nIt's easier to work efficiently if you have a good reason to work. If you're occasionally having difficulty getting yourself going, think about the reasons that led you to your job in the first place - your life's goals, your dreams, and your vision for yourself. Try to think of your work as a means to an end - the \\\"end\\\" being your ideal vision for your life. If you enjoy your job, try thinking about how your work makes you feel - do you feel fulfilled and accomplished after you've done it?\\nThink about the good things your work allows you to have. Perhaps you owe your house or your car to the money you've earned through your job, or maybe your job allows you to send your children to school. Also think of your job's \\\"benefits\\\" - medical and/or dental insurance for your family, for instance.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a1\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a1\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nThink about the consequences if you don't work. What things will you have to give up if you lose your source of income? In what ways will it affect your family or other people close to you?\\n3-5. Reward yourself.\\nIf you've successfully increased your work efficiency, celebrate - you deserve it. It's not easy to lose bad habits and cultivate good ones, so reward yourself for your hard work. Buy yourself a drink after work on Friday, meet with some friends for a night out, or just lay in bed with a book - whatever makes you happy after a long work week, do it. Rewarding yourself increases your feeling of accomplishment, which is an important part of keeping your motivation up.\\nYour reward doesn't have to be big or grandiose, and it shouldn't be something that's financially irresponsible. Modest, moderate rewards are best. Save the new Rolex for a special occasion.\\nTips\\nImplement a delayed gratification system in which you do the least pleasing projects as soon as possible rather than leaving them until last. This way you don't spend your day dreading the project and trying to avoid it. Doing the dreaded project first will most likely leave you feeling satisfied, and you can end your day on a good note with the more pleasing or less stressful projects.\\nTry working from home if you can. This may improve your productivity.\\nMaking sure everything has a place and all of the items are neatly put away gives you ample workspace without having to work around clutter.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In today's world, coping with job-related pressure is really tough. Anyone who's held down a full-time job knows that an average work day is not always long enough to get everything you need to do done. However, your productivity can be greatly improved by adopting habits designed to make you work more efficiently. An efficient worker uses the most of each minute of the day, giving his or her fullest attention to the most important tasks first. Being efficient at work won't just improve your productivity and win you points with your boss - it'll also make you feel accomplished, satisfied that you've had a full and productive work day.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating Focus\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a clean, orderly work space.\", \"描述\": \"Achieving efficiency at work can sometimes be as simple as clearing the clutter from your work area. \\nA disorderly work area is a work area that can hinder your productivity. If you're constantly struggling to find specific tools or documents in a mountain of clutter, serious work time is being wasted. Only keep items that you use daily out and about - everything else should be squirreled away where it's out of the way but also quickly.\\nIf you work in an office, arrange your office space and desk so that you can quickly and easily find whatever you need to work. If you don't work in an office, the same principles still apply. For instance, if you work in a bike repair shop keep your tools clean and organized so that you'll be able to find them instantly when you need them. Almost every work area benefits from being kept clean.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/b\\\\/b0\\\\/Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/b\\\\/b0\\\\/Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Lose-Belly-Fat-Fast-%28Women%29-Step-11.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nOffice workers and other people who handle large numbers of documents should create a filing system that is logical and organized. Keep documents that you use frequently close at hand. Stash other documents according to alphabetical (or some other logical) order.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your workplace well-stocked.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you have the supplies and tools needed to do your job. In an office, this means you should have things such as hole-punches, staple removers, calculators, etc. at the ready. Outside of an office setting, the tools are different, but the fundamental principles are the same - have the things you need to work effectively before you have to start working. Scientists working with complex graphing applications and mechanics working with socket wrenches will both benefit from having their tools prepped and ready beforehand.\\nThis also means to make sure you have a good supply of whatever consumable supplies your job requires - staplers need staples, carpenters need nails, teachers need chalk, etc.\\nEnsure your tools are well-maintained. One essential broken tool can bottleneck the rest of your work flow if you can't proceed without it! Save time in the long run by spending a few moments periodically to clean and maintain your tools.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep a consolidated schedule.\", \"描述\": \"If you've been flying by the seat of your pants so far, making any sort of effort to plan out your day will probably increase your working efficiency. To keep a truly effective schedule though, limit yourself to one comprehensive planner (optionally supplemented with one calendar in your office or cubicle for long-term objectives.) Don't needlessly complicate your work by keeping more than one schedule or by scrawling out a huge collection of notes that you'll inevitably lose. You want to be able to look in one specific place to see what you need to do.\\nOrganize each day by creating a \\\"to do\\\" list. Begin with the highest priorities of the day so that they are most likely to get done. Put less important tasks at the end the list. Start at the top of the list at the beginning of your work day. If you do not complete the list by the end of the day, tackle the uncompleted items the next day.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/cd\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/cd\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-03Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nSet a time frame and deadline for your most important projects, and be realistic about the length of time they will take. You don't want to set yourself up to fail - it's better to ask for more time at the start of a project, rather than right before it's due.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eliminate your personal distractions.\", \"描述\": \"Different work places have different distractions - some jobs may come with a particularly talkative coworker who just won't leave you alone. Others might be oppressively silent, causing you to get distracted by even the quietest noises. Do what you must to make sure you can stay focused on your work. If your job allows you to safely listen to music, take an MP3 player to work with you. You might even consider posting notes at your work station notifying coworkers not to distract you. It might seem rude, but it's not - it's a reasonable and effective method to get people to leave you alone while you're working. Remember, you can socialize to your heart's content during breaks and meals.\\nOne very common distraction is spending time on recreational internet sites. One study showed that about two thirds of workers waste at least a little time on websites not related to their work every day. Luckily, most browsers allow you to download free productivity aids that allow you to block problem websites. Search your browser's extension store for \\\"website blocker\\\" or \\\"productivity aid.\\\" You're likely to get at least a few free, effective results.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d8\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d8\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nOther good ways to avoid distraction are by screening your calls (to avoid needless telephone conversations) and minimizing drop-in meetings.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a4\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a4\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-04Bullet02.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use breaks to handle personal business.\", \"描述\": \"Oddly, breaks can increase, rather than hinder your workplace efficiency. First, breaks offer you much-needed rest. Without this rest, you may become fatigued, working more slowly or with less proficiency. Second, breaks give you a chance to your distractions. Use your breaks to do everything that might otherwise take you away from your work. Do you find yourself daydreaming about a relative you've been meaning to call when you should be working? Call them on your break, eliminating your distraction!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enacting Effective Work Strategies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break your responsibilities into manageable pieces.\", \"描述\": \"Big projects can be intimidating - if they're big enough, it's easy to put them off, wasting time on less-important work until you're forced to tackle the entire project right up against the deadline. As an efficient worker, you should do important work first, even when that means doing a small part of a large task. It doesn't feel as rewarding to do a small part of a big task as it does to complete an entire small task, but it's a smart use of your time. In the long run, you'll finish your most important tasks faster if you work on them a little bit every day.\\nFor example, if you've got to make a big presentation in one month's time, set a goal of creating an outline today. It's not terribly time-consuming, so it won't distract you from your other work, but it's an important first step that makes the rest of the process quicker and easier to complete.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Lighten your work load by delegating work.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you're at the very bottom of the workplace totem pole, you may have the opportunity to split up particularly repetitive tasks among one or more of your subordinates to save yourself time. Don't give your underlings projects that only know how to complete satisfactorily. Instead, give them the time-consuming, monotonous tasks that keep you from using your talents on more important work. If you delegate work, remember to follow up with your assistant and give him/her a deadline. Always be gracious with your subordinates when they help you - if they feel like you appreciate them, they'll work hard for you on future projects.\\nIf you're an intern, an entry-level employee, or someone else who's low-ranking in your company, you can still try to divide particularly monotonous work with employees who are at the same level as you (with their permission as well as the permission of your supervisor, of course). If you use a coworker's help, be ready to return the favor![[Image:Be More Efficient at Work Step 07Bullet01.jpg center\\nIf you've got a great relationship with your boss, you can even see if he can delegate some of the work to others for you![[Image:Be More Efficient at Work Step 07Bullet02.jpg|center\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep meetings lean.\", \"描述\": \"There's a reason everyone hates meetings - according to a 2012 survey, almost half of all respondents consider meetings to be the biggest source of wasted time at work - bigger, even, than time spent on personal and recreational websites. Meetings can be vital for discussing goals and establishing a forward vision. Left unchecked, however, meetings all too often become bloated affairs, eating up hours (or in extreme cases, even days ) of your time without anything important being decided. Here's a few tips to make your meetings as effective as possible:\\nEstablish an agenda before every meeting so that the time set aside is used to its full potential. Include time frames in which certain topics of discussion should be addressed. your agenda as much as you can - if other topics arise, recommend they be discussed later via a one-on-one office discussion.\\nInvite the smallest number of people as possible. Keeping your meetings to the bare minimum in terms of attendees reduces the chance that the conversation will veer off-topic. It also keeps everyone who doesn't need to be there at their desks, working, which is overall more productive.\\nKeep slide presentations to a minimum. There is ample debate about whether slide presentations (PowerPoint, etc.) help or hinder the efficiency of a meeting. This much is clear: If you use slides in your presentation, keep them as concise and informative as possible. Use slides to display pictures and data that can't be conveyed through your speech, not the entire content of your presentation. And don't mess around with animations or transitions, either, as it wastes time.\\nFinally, as an overarching principle, before you start the meeting and make that decision as quickly as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Nip office drama in the bud.\", \"描述\": \"Workplaces can, unfortunately, be terribly stressful places. If tempers flare, address any ill will immediately and directly. This may mean you, the person you're fighting with, or both of you need to make sincere apologies. Do this sooner rather than later. If you let a few fights fester into a grudge, your efficiency will suffer in the long run as you waste time working around this person and avoiding him/her in the workplace. More importantly, you'll be miserable - don't let workplace drama ruin your efficiency and your mood!\\nDon't be afraid to involve a mediator. Businesses know that drama and hurt feelings can hinder work flow, so many employ people whose specific duties include resolving workplace disputes. Contact your workplace's human resources personnel if you feel frustrated, sad, or scared because of someone else in the workplace.\\nWhen all is said and done, you don't have to be friends with a colleague you've argued with - you just have to be able to work with him or her. Be polite and tactful in the workplace, even with people you hate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Lifestyle Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be well rested.\", \"描述\": \"Being tired has never improved the quality of anyone's work. Tiredness can slow your output, dull your performance, and, if you're prone to sleeping spells, seriously embarrass you in important meetings. On top of this, severely insufficient sleep has been correlated with a variety of health problems. Don't fall asleep at your desk or miss work because you've gotten sick - get 7-8 hours of sleep a night to be at your best.\\nAt best, workplace fatigue can be a minor distraction. At worst, it can be a serious safety concern. If you have a job where peoples' safety is at stake (for instance, if you're an air traffic controller or you drive a semi truck), it's imperative that you keep a good sleep schedule.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Science has shown that a good exercise regimen improves your workplace mood and productivity. This is especially true for sedentary office jobs. If you spend most of your time at work sitting in front of a computer, make special effort to spend a little time every day exercising - not only will it make it easier to sit still at work, but it will make you feel happier, sharper, and more motivated.\\nIf you're starting an exercise routine for the first time, try a moderate workout combining with some.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep an elevated mood.\", \"描述\": \"If you're trying to improve your working efficiency, you may be tempted to pursue your work with dogged seriousness. Often, this isn't a good idea - you may increase your efficiency in the short term, but if you never allow yourself any pleasure at work, it's easy to burn yourself out, leading to fatigue, stress, and a lack of motivation. Try to keep high spirits - if you feel good at work, you'll be more likely to stay motivated and ambitious.\\nDo small things to improve your mood that won't hinder your productivity - listen to music through headphones, take stretch breaks, or take your laptop to the break room for some peace and quiet.\\nMake the most of your meal breaks - relish the chance to enjoy good food and tell jokes with your workplace friends.\\nUse coffee with caution. Coffee can be a fantastic pick-me-up on days when you're feeling especially drained, but if you use it every day, you'll become dependent on it and it will cease to give you any benefits.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Motivate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It's easier to work efficiently if you have a good reason to work. If you're occasionally having difficulty getting yourself going, think about the reasons that led you to your job in the first place - your life's goals, your dreams, and your vision for yourself. Try to think of your work as a means to an end - the \\\"end\\\" being your ideal vision for your life. If you enjoy your job, try thinking about how your work makes you feel - do you feel fulfilled and accomplished after you've done it?\\nThink about the good things your work allows you to have. Perhaps you owe your house or your car to the money you've earned through your job, or maybe your job allows you to send your children to school. Also think of your job's \\\"benefits\\\" - medical and/or dental insurance for your family, for instance.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a1\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/a\\\\/a1\\\\/Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\\/aid1068185-v4-728px-Be-More-Efficient-at-Work-Step-13Bullet01.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nThink about the consequences if you don't work. What things will you have to give up if you lose your source of income? In what ways will it affect your family or other people close to you?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you've successfully increased your work efficiency, celebrate - you deserve it. It's not easy to lose bad habits and cultivate good ones, so reward yourself for your hard work. Buy yourself a drink after work on Friday, meet with some friends for a night out, or just lay in bed with a book - whatever makes you happy after a long work week, do it. Rewarding yourself increases your feeling of accomplishment, which is an important part of keeping your motivation up.\\nYour reward doesn't have to be big or grandiose, and it shouldn't be something that's financially irresponsible. Modest, moderate rewards are best. Save the new Rolex for a special occasion.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Implement a delayed gratification system in which you do the least pleasing projects as soon as possible rather than leaving them until last. This way you don't spend your day dreading the project and trying to avoid it. Doing the dreaded project first will most likely leave you feeling satisfied, and you can end your day on a good note with the more pleasing or less stressful projects.\\n\", \"Try working from home if you can. This may improve your productivity.\\n\", \"Making sure everything has a place and all of the items are neatly put away gives you ample workspace without having to work around clutter.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,942 | How to Be More Emotional in a Relationship | 1. Be open about your feelings and secrets.
Do this even if it feels a little scary or unnatural at first.
As you get to know your partner, open up to them about your past experiences, share the hopes and dreams you've been nervous to admit to others, and tell them how much you care about them (despite your fear of rejection). Be open about the deep, hidden feelings you don't often share with others. It may be hard at first, but you may grow to appreciate having someone to tell these things.
This helps your partner feel more comfortable around you, too. Since a relationship is reciprocal, you might have to take turns being the first to share or admit something to your partner.
Never feel pressure to reveal something you're not comfortable talking about just yet. Just don't hide things from your partner out of fear that they'll reject you or won't understand.
2. Share good and bad news with your partner.
Keep them aware and updated on what's going on in your life.
Whether it's good news or bad, new life events are great opportunities to be more emotionally vulnerable with your partner. Tell them about that promotion you just got or that new project you're super excited to have been assigned at work. If you get bad news, open up about the situation to your partner. This can heighten your emotional connection, and your partner can even help you process it.
Maybe you were recently laid off, but you're afraid to tell your partner. Rather than hiding this from them, share what happened and even admit your fears or frustration about the situation.
Part of being in an emotionally intimate relationship is supporting each other through good times and bad. Your partner will be there to help you through it.
3. Ask your partner how they're feeling.
This helps you show your sensitivity to their emotions.
Ask your partner specific questions, like how an experience made them feel or what's been going through their head lately. Though your partner may tell you how they feel sometimes, asking them shows that you care and are willing to engage with them on an emotional level.
Let's say your partner just got home from work and they seem really frazzled. Rather than just noticing their changed mood, ask them, "How was work today? Is everything alright?"
Maybe your partner just got off the phone with their mom and they have a contentious relationship. Check up on them with questions like, "How are you doing? Did the conversation go alright?"
4. Be a good listener.
This helps you be more attuned to your partner's true feelings.
Practice active listening strategies so that you can really focus on what your partner has to say. In conversation with your partner, rephrase what they said in your own words to make sure you understood them correctly, use empathetic language like "I completely understand where you're coming from" or "It totally makes sense that you would feel that way," and make direct eye contact when they speak to you.
Avoid multi-tasking when your partner talks to you, especially when they're speaking about something serious. Put your phone away, close your laptop, and pause your video game (even if you're about to beat the whole game).
5. Respect your partner's feelings.
Do this even if you don't always see eye to eye.
Part of being in an emotionally intimate relationship is appreciating your partner's point of view, even when it differs from your own. Make an effort to put yourself in your partner's shoes, ask questions to better understand their perspective, and avoid judging or belittling their opinions.
Affirm your partner's perspective to show your emotional sensitivity. Let's say you're having a political debate. Say something like, "Wow, I never thought about it that way. I always appreciate your perspective on things."
If your partner expresses discomfort or insecurity about their opinion, encourage them. Say, "I always want to hear what you have to say. You never have to feel embarrassed around me!"
6. Use your sense of humor in awkward moments.
Especially at first, expressing your emotions can be uncomfortable.
Don't sweat the small stuff if you don't phrase your words exactly as you wished you had. A great way to practice self-compassion when you flub your words or feel uncomfortable is to have a sense of humor about it. Laugh at yourself if things aren't coming out the way you'd planned. Don't be afraid to smile or even joke about how you're a little nervous when you're opening up to your partner.
This can really help your partner feel more comfortable, too, and it'll really ease the tension during deep discussions.
Do read the room, though. If your partner just opened up to you about something really serious in their past, for example, save the jokes until the subject has come to its natural conclusion.
7. Try new things with your partner.
Break up your routine to get to know each other on a deeper level.
Learn new things together and be open to different experiences. Avoid getting so used to your partner that you don't make an effort to make your time together special or keep your emotional connection alive. Keep putting in the effort to change things up so your relationship doesn't become stagnant and monotonous.
Take a class with your partner in something that you don't know anything about, like dance or improv. Plan a weekend trip to a city you've both never visited before. Plan special dates as if you just started dating.
Even if you've been dating for 10 years, there's always new things and experiences you can share with your partner, and these are necessary to deepen your emotional connection.
8. Give your partner genuine, loving compliments.
Always tell your partner how much you care about them, and be specific.
Share what you find so special about your partner, whether it be their sense of humor, their beautiful smile, or their positive outlook on life. Make a habit of complimenting them often so that you never take their presence for granted or make them feel unappreciated. Regular compliments are a great way to be attentive and caring with your partner.
Next time you greet your partner, compliment how amazing they look. Say something like, "Don't you look beautiful today!"
If you're not sure what to say, try writing out your feelings instead. Write them a little note about all the reasons you love your partner, and stick it in their laptop case or lunch bag before they leave for work.
9. Reflect on your emotions to become more emotionally aware.
Understand how you feel so you can express it to your partner.
To do this, write out your emotions on the page. Use a pen and paper or start a daily journaling practice. Be honest with yourself about what you're feeling when you write things down and reread old entries to understand your thought patterns.
Maybe you're feeling sad, but you don't understand why. Brainstorm what could be causing these emotions in a journal, then reread what you wrote.
If you're upset or confused by something your partner did, write out your feelings in a journal before expressing them. Some extra time to reflect helps you avoid lashing out at your partner or emotionally shutting down.
10. Admit when you've made a mistake.
Everyone messes up sometimes in relationships.
It can be tempting to pretend like you're perfect, but that won't help your relationship or yourself in the long run. If you snapped at your partner or forgot to do something you promised them, own up to your mistake and apologize. Being vulnerable like this is an important part of being emotionally available in a relationship.
When you apologize, make a promise to change your actions and commit to following through with it.
Say something like, "I'm so sorry I was distracted when we were talking this morning. I always want to know what you have to say, and I need to work on being more attentive."
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be open about your feelings and secrets.\\nDo this even if it feels a little scary or unnatural at first.\\nAs you get to know your partner, open up to them about your past experiences, share the hopes and dreams you've been nervous to admit to others, and tell them how much you care about them (despite your fear of rejection). Be open about the deep, hidden feelings you don't often share with others. It may be hard at first, but you may grow to appreciate having someone to tell these things.\\nThis helps your partner feel more comfortable around you, too. Since a relationship is reciprocal, you might have to take turns being the first to share or admit something to your partner.\\nNever feel pressure to reveal something you're not comfortable talking about just yet. Just don't hide things from your partner out of fear that they'll reject you or won't understand.\\n2. Share good and bad news with your partner.\\nKeep them aware and updated on what's going on in your life.\\nWhether it's good news or bad, new life events are great opportunities to be more emotionally vulnerable with your partner. Tell them about that promotion you just got or that new project you're super excited to have been assigned at work. If you get bad news, open up about the situation to your partner. This can heighten your emotional connection, and your partner can even help you process it.\\nMaybe you were recently laid off, but you're afraid to tell your partner. Rather than hiding this from them, share what happened and even admit your fears or frustration about the situation.\\nPart of being in an emotionally intimate relationship is supporting each other through good times and bad. Your partner will be there to help you through it.\\n3. Ask your partner how they're feeling.\\nThis helps you show your sensitivity to their emotions.\\nAsk your partner specific questions, like how an experience made them feel or what's been going through their head lately. Though your partner may tell you how they feel sometimes, asking them shows that you care and are willing to engage with them on an emotional level.\\nLet's say your partner just got home from work and they seem really frazzled. Rather than just noticing their changed mood, ask them, \\\"How was work today? Is everything alright?\\\"\\nMaybe your partner just got off the phone with their mom and they have a contentious relationship. Check up on them with questions like, \\\"How are you doing? Did the conversation go alright?\\\"\\n4. Be a good listener.\\nThis helps you be more attuned to your partner's true feelings.\\nPractice active listening strategies so that you can really focus on what your partner has to say. In conversation with your partner, rephrase what they said in your own words to make sure you understood them correctly, use empathetic language like \\\"I completely understand where you're coming from\\\" or \\\"It totally makes sense that you would feel that way,\\\" and make direct eye contact when they speak to you.\\nAvoid multi-tasking when your partner talks to you, especially when they're speaking about something serious. Put your phone away, close your laptop, and pause your video game (even if you're about to beat the whole game).\\n5. Respect your partner's feelings.\\nDo this even if you don't always see eye to eye.\\nPart of being in an emotionally intimate relationship is appreciating your partner's point of view, even when it differs from your own. Make an effort to put yourself in your partner's shoes, ask questions to better understand their perspective, and avoid judging or belittling their opinions.\\nAffirm your partner's perspective to show your emotional sensitivity. Let's say you're having a political debate. Say something like, \\\"Wow, I never thought about it that way. I always appreciate your perspective on things.\\\"\\nIf your partner expresses discomfort or insecurity about their opinion, encourage them. Say, \\\"I always want to hear what you have to say. You never have to feel embarrassed around me!\\\"\\n6. Use your sense of humor in awkward moments.\\nEspecially at first, expressing your emotions can be uncomfortable.\\nDon't sweat the small stuff if you don't phrase your words exactly as you wished you had. A great way to practice self-compassion when you flub your words or feel uncomfortable is to have a sense of humor about it. Laugh at yourself if things aren't coming out the way you'd planned. Don't be afraid to smile or even joke about how you're a little nervous when you're opening up to your partner.\\nThis can really help your partner feel more comfortable, too, and it'll really ease the tension during deep discussions.\\nDo read the room, though. If your partner just opened up to you about something really serious in their past, for example, save the jokes until the subject has come to its natural conclusion.\\n7. Try new things with your partner.\\nBreak up your routine to get to know each other on a deeper level.\\nLearn new things together and be open to different experiences. Avoid getting so used to your partner that you don't make an effort to make your time together special or keep your emotional connection alive. Keep putting in the effort to change things up so your relationship doesn't become stagnant and monotonous.\\nTake a class with your partner in something that you don't know anything about, like dance or improv. Plan a weekend trip to a city you've both never visited before. Plan special dates as if you just started dating.\\nEven if you've been dating for 10 years, there's always new things and experiences you can share with your partner, and these are necessary to deepen your emotional connection.\\n8. Give your partner genuine, loving compliments.\\nAlways tell your partner how much you care about them, and be specific.\\nShare what you find so special about your partner, whether it be their sense of humor, their beautiful smile, or their positive outlook on life. Make a habit of complimenting them often so that you never take their presence for granted or make them feel unappreciated. Regular compliments are a great way to be attentive and caring with your partner.\\nNext time you greet your partner, compliment how amazing they look. Say something like, \\\"Don't you look beautiful today!\\\"\\nIf you're not sure what to say, try writing out your feelings instead. Write them a little note about all the reasons you love your partner, and stick it in their laptop case or lunch bag before they leave for work.\\n9. Reflect on your emotions to become more emotionally aware.\\nUnderstand how you feel so you can express it to your partner.\\nTo do this, write out your emotions on the page. Use a pen and paper or start a daily journaling practice. Be honest with yourself about what you're feeling when you write things down and reread old entries to understand your thought patterns.\\nMaybe you're feeling sad, but you don't understand why. Brainstorm what could be causing these emotions in a journal, then reread what you wrote.\\nIf you're upset or confused by something your partner did, write out your feelings in a journal before expressing them. Some extra time to reflect helps you avoid lashing out at your partner or emotionally shutting down.\\n10. Admit when you've made a mistake.\\nEveryone messes up sometimes in relationships.\\nIt can be tempting to pretend like you're perfect, but that won't help your relationship or yourself in the long run. If you snapped at your partner or forgot to do something you promised them, own up to your mistake and apologize. Being vulnerable like this is an important part of being emotionally available in a relationship.\\nWhen you apologize, make a promise to change your actions and commit to following through with it.\\nSay something like, \\\"I'm so sorry I was distracted when we were talking this morning. I always want to know what you have to say, and I need to work on being more attentive.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Expressing yourself emotionally in a relationship can be hard if you’re not usually a very emotional person. Relationships aren't always like the fairytale we see in movies. They're complex and confusing sometimes, and it can be hard to know how to express yourself to your partner no matter how much you care about them. This article is here to help you open up and be vulnerable with your partner so that you can strengthen your emotional connection. This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Allen Wagner. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open about your feelings and secrets.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do this even if it feels a little scary or unnatural at first.\", \"描述\": \"As you get to know your partner, open up to them about your past experiences, share the hopes and dreams you've been nervous to admit to others, and tell them how much you care about them (despite your fear of rejection). Be open about the deep, hidden feelings you don't often share with others. It may be hard at first, but you may grow to appreciate having someone to tell these things.\\nThis helps your partner feel more comfortable around you, too. Since a relationship is reciprocal, you might have to take turns being the first to share or admit something to your partner.\\nNever feel pressure to reveal something you're not comfortable talking about just yet. Just don't hide things from your partner out of fear that they'll reject you or won't understand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share good and bad news with your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep them aware and updated on what's going on in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's good news or bad, new life events are great opportunities to be more emotionally vulnerable with your partner. Tell them about that promotion you just got or that new project you're super excited to have been assigned at work. If you get bad news, open up about the situation to your partner. This can heighten your emotional connection, and your partner can even help you process it.\\nMaybe you were recently laid off, but you're afraid to tell your partner. Rather than hiding this from them, share what happened and even admit your fears or frustration about the situation.\\nPart of being in an emotionally intimate relationship is supporting each other through good times and bad. Your partner will be there to help you through it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your partner how they're feeling.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This helps you show your sensitivity to their emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your partner specific questions, like how an experience made them feel or what's been going through their head lately. Though your partner may tell you how they feel sometimes, asking them shows that you care and are willing to engage with them on an emotional level.\\nLet's say your partner just got home from work and they seem really frazzled. Rather than just noticing their changed mood, ask them, \\\"How was work today? Is everything alright?\\\"\\nMaybe your partner just got off the phone with their mom and they have a contentious relationship. Check up on them with questions like, \\\"How are you doing? Did the conversation go alright?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This helps you be more attuned to your partner's true feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Practice active listening strategies so that you can really focus on what your partner has to say. In conversation with your partner, rephrase what they said in your own words to make sure you understood them correctly, use empathetic language like \\\"I completely understand where you're coming from\\\" or \\\"It totally makes sense that you would feel that way,\\\" and make direct eye contact when they speak to you.\\nAvoid multi-tasking when your partner talks to you, especially when they're speaking about something serious. Put your phone away, close your laptop, and pause your video game (even if you're about to beat the whole game).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respect your partner's feelings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do this even if you don't always see eye to eye.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being in an emotionally intimate relationship is appreciating your partner's point of view, even when it differs from your own. Make an effort to put yourself in your partner's shoes, ask questions to better understand their perspective, and avoid judging or belittling their opinions.\\nAffirm your partner's perspective to show your emotional sensitivity. Let's say you're having a political debate. Say something like, \\\"Wow, I never thought about it that way. I always appreciate your perspective on things.\\\"\\nIf your partner expresses discomfort or insecurity about their opinion, encourage them. Say, \\\"I always want to hear what you have to say. You never have to feel embarrassed around me!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use your sense of humor in awkward moments.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Especially at first, expressing your emotions can be uncomfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Don't sweat the small stuff if you don't phrase your words exactly as you wished you had. A great way to practice self-compassion when you flub your words or feel uncomfortable is to have a sense of humor about it. Laugh at yourself if things aren't coming out the way you'd planned. Don't be afraid to smile or even joke about how you're a little nervous when you're opening up to your partner.\\nThis can really help your partner feel more comfortable, too, and it'll really ease the tension during deep discussions.\\nDo read the room, though. If your partner just opened up to you about something really serious in their past, for example, save the jokes until the subject has come to its natural conclusion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try new things with your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break up your routine to get to know each other on a deeper level.\", \"描述\": \"Learn new things together and be open to different experiences. Avoid getting so used to your partner that you don't make an effort to make your time together special or keep your emotional connection alive. Keep putting in the effort to change things up so your relationship doesn't become stagnant and monotonous.\\nTake a class with your partner in something that you don't know anything about, like dance or improv. Plan a weekend trip to a city you've both never visited before. Plan special dates as if you just started dating.\\nEven if you've been dating for 10 years, there's always new things and experiences you can share with your partner, and these are necessary to deepen your emotional connection.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give your partner genuine, loving compliments.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Always tell your partner how much you care about them, and be specific.\", \"描述\": \"Share what you find so special about your partner, whether it be their sense of humor, their beautiful smile, or their positive outlook on life. Make a habit of complimenting them often so that you never take their presence for granted or make them feel unappreciated. Regular compliments are a great way to be attentive and caring with your partner.\\nNext time you greet your partner, compliment how amazing they look. Say something like, \\\"Don't you look beautiful today!\\\"\\nIf you're not sure what to say, try writing out your feelings instead. Write them a little note about all the reasons you love your partner, and stick it in their laptop case or lunch bag before they leave for work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your emotions to become more emotionally aware.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand how you feel so you can express it to your partner.\", \"描述\": \"To do this, write out your emotions on the page. Use a pen and paper or start a daily journaling practice. Be honest with yourself about what you're feeling when you write things down and reread old entries to understand your thought patterns.\\nMaybe you're feeling sad, but you don't understand why. Brainstorm what could be causing these emotions in a journal, then reread what you wrote.\\nIf you're upset or confused by something your partner did, write out your feelings in a journal before expressing them. Some extra time to reflect helps you avoid lashing out at your partner or emotionally shutting down.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Admit when you've made a mistake.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Everyone messes up sometimes in relationships.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to pretend like you're perfect, but that won't help your relationship or yourself in the long run. If you snapped at your partner or forgot to do something you promised them, own up to your mistake and apologize. Being vulnerable like this is an important part of being emotionally available in a relationship.\\nWhen you apologize, make a promise to change your actions and commit to following through with it.\\nSay something like, \\\"I'm so sorry I was distracted when we were talking this morning. I always want to know what you have to say, and I need to work on being more attentive.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,943 | How to Be More Energetic | 1. Dietary Changes
1-1. Eat a healthy breakfast every morning.
You should have a goal of eating breakfast every single morning, even if you're not feeling hungry or are running out of time. Eating breakfast will not only give you more energy in the mornings, but it has been shown to lower stress. You shouldn't eat anything too greasy or heavy; just eat enough to make yourself feel powered up and alive. Here are some great foods to eat:
A bowl of cereal
Oatmeal
Hard-boiled eggs
Greens like spinach, kale, or celery
Lean turkey or ham
Berries, apples, or bananas
1-2. Eat every 3-4 hours.
Even if you have an incredibly busy schedule, you can always take a minute to eat a snack, especially if you have one on hand. Instead of eating three big meals that leave you stuffed, have three medium-sized meals along with two snacks, one in between breakfast and lunch, and one between lunch and dinner, and see how much your energy levels improve. If your three meals constitute the only food you eat all day, then you will experience a dip in your energy level as you approach your next meal.
Your snacks should be healthy, consisting of a mixture of carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats.
Nuts or berries make a great snack.
Have yogurt with granola.
Have a small piece of chocolate. You'll get an endorphin kick and will get a tiny boost of energy from the small amount of caffeine in it.
1-3. Avoid heavy meals.
Breakfast should be your heaviest meal of the day, lunch should be your lightest, and dinner should be medium-heavy. You'll need a bigger breakfast to fortify yourself throughout the day, a smaller lunch to keep yourself from feeling sluggish or lethargic around lunchtime, and a medium-sized dinner to give you sustenance and to keep you from waking up early because of hunger.
Your meals should have a mix of carbohydrates, proteins, and fruits or vegetables, and shouldn't be so heavy that they drain your body of energy as it tries to digest all that you've eaten.
1-4. Eat more fiber.
Fiber enters your bloodstream at a slower and steadier pace than carbs do, so they end up giving you more energy throughout the day. When you're choosing a snack option or deciding what to have for lunch, you should consider eating some foods that are known for being high in fiber. Here are some foods to try:
Raisin bran
A multigrain tortilla
Black beans
Apples
Whole-wheat spaghetti
1-5. Eat those Omega-3s.
They are found in fatty fish, walnuts, and canola oil, and they help keep your brain cells healthy and make you feel mentally alert. Try to eat fish at least once every day or two and snack on walnuts whenever you have the chance.
1-6. Drink lots of water.
It's important to stay hydrated throughout the day and to drink at least 10 8-oz. glasses of water. Even mild dehydration can lead you to be fatigued, so wherever you go, make sure to bring a water bottle, or hit up the water fountains as often as you can. You can also up your water intake by eating more foods that contain water, such as carrots, yogurt, oranges, and grapefruit.
Remember that alcohol and caffeinated beverages can make you dehydrated, so make sure to drink extra water when you are drinking these beverages.
1-7. Limit your caffeine intake afternoon.
Though caffeine can really boost your energy levels a few hours after you drink it, if you have caffeine afternoon or even in the evening, it will disrupt your sleep. Even if you're feeling very tired in the late afternoon, try to fight the urge to have more caffeine, or you will be tossing and turning all night and will feel even more tired the next day. And what will you want after a night of caffeine-induced restlessness? More caffeine. That's how people get addicted.
Even switching from coffee to black or low-caffeine tea can have a positive impact on your energy levels.
1-8. Avoid energy drinks.
Energy drinks can be a quick fix if you have to pull an all-nighter after an exam or need the energy to go partying with your friends, but these sugary drinks are not good for your mind or body. After just a few hours, you will feel severe energy come down, may experience bad headaches, and will feel jittery and generally unpleasant. If you really like these drinks, you can have them in case of an absolute emergency, but try to avoid them on the whole.
2. Sleep Routine Changes
2-1. Avoid alcohol before bed.
Though you may like to wind down with a glass of wine, alcohol actually disrupts your sleep cycle. While alcohol may make it easier for you to fall asleep at night, it will also make you have a more shallow sleep and will make you more likely to wake up throughout the night. Make sure to stop drinking alcohol at least 2-3 hours before you go to bed.
2-2. Avoid spicy or heavy foods before bed.
You should eat dinner at least 2-3 hours before bed and have a light, healthy snack afterward if you're really craving one. But you should avoid any foods that are extra spicy or extra heavy or creamy, or your body will have a harder time digesting it and a harder time falling asleep.
2-3. Turn off all visual stimuli at least an hour before bed.
Though you may love watching television until you fall asleep, visual stimuli actually make it harder for you to fall asleep and to have a restful night of sleep. So, turn off the television, your computer, your cell phone, and any other screens other than the screen of your Kindle so that your body can begin to wind down.
2-4. Don't do work in your bed.
Don't write papers, do research, email your boss, or do anything work-oriented in bed or your wires will get crossed and your body will associate your bed with work and not sleep. Make sure to do all of your work in your workspace, which can be a desk or a home office. Ideally, you should avoid doing any work in your bedroom at all, but if that's not possible, at least avoid doing it in bed.
2-5. Have a winding-down routine.
Find a winding-down routine that works for you and try to stick to it every night. It could mean drinking a cup of camomile tea, reading the paper, or listening to jazz. Find whatever works for you and stick to it as often as you can so that your body can begin to associate this routine with sleep. Your routine should begin at last an hour before sleep. It's difficult to move straight from work, or fun, into the world of sleep.
2-6. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every night.
Though this may sound easier said than done, you should make an effort to go to bed around the same time and to wake up around the same time every night. In fact, getting eight hours a night two days in a row during two wildly different sleeping patterns will make you feel less well-rested than getting seven hours during the same time frame for two nights in a row.
Try going to bed within the same hour range, at least. Say, go to bed between 10 and 11 pm and wake up between 6 and 7 am.
2-7. Follow the fifteen-minute rule.
The rule is simple. If you're tossing and turning in bed and absolutely can't fall asleep after fifteen minutes, get up and do something that relaxes your mind, such as listening to classical music or reading. You can turn on a soft light to do this, but nothing too bright or you will make yourself even more alert. Try reading something slightly boring -- nothing that gets you even more excited.
2-8. Lower the temperature before you fall asleep.
Your body naturally lowers its temperature when you sleep, so the temperature of your environment should match your body temperature. So, before you go to bed, turn down the thermostat to at least 74 degrees; ideally, between 74 and 54 degrees. You can also crack open a window if it's chilly outside.
2-9. Stop sleeping with Fluffy the cat.
You may love it when Fluffy the cat sleeps between your legs, but how about when he runs up and down the room, paws at your head, or knocks over your favorite necklace in the middle of the night? Over half of pet owners who let their pets sleep in the same bed as them report having disrupted sleep because of it at least once a night, so keep your beloved cat or dog out of the bedroom.
If your pet is hurt by this development, just assure him that it only means you'll have even more energy for cuddling with him in the morning.
2-10. If you hit snooze, you lose.
Don't hit the snooze button five times before you finally get up. Hit your alarm, stretch your arms high, and immediately take in a big gulp of air. After that, get up, get some fresh air, and start your day. Hitting your snooze button will only through you back into an unsatisfying, shallow sleep, and it will not only waste time, but it will make it harder for you to get up.
If you really struggle with getting up without hitting the snooze button five times, then it may be a sign that you're chronically not getting enough sleep.
3. Daily Routine Changes
3-1. Change your socks in the middle of the day.
That's right. Get in the habit of changing your socks before or after lunch. You'll be amazed by how much more alert, clean, and energized this will make you feel.
3-2. Go outside.
This is especially important if you work in an office and spend most of your day at your desk. Take a break and go outside, breathe some fresh air, and let the sun hit your face. Spending just 20-30 minutes outside each day will have a dramatic impact on your energy level. And if you have some work to do that can be done outside, then bring it to the park.
Of course, spending all day in the hot, hot sun could zap your energy levels and may make you more tired.
3-3. Eat your multi-vitamin at lunch.
If you take a multi-vitamin (and you should), then your best move is to take it at lunch, with food, so that the small amount of energy in it helps give you an additional boost. If you take it with dinner, you'll be more likely to disturb your sleep.
3-4. Let there be light.
Turn on your lights when you get up, and spend some time in natural sunlight if you can. Any form of light will do -- it's been proved to make people more alert, energetic, and awake.
3-5. Take breaks every 90 minutes or less.
Most people can't focus on one task for over 90 minutes, and that's okay. Don't try to force yourself to get a job done if you're feeling fatigued or like you just can't push yourself to finish it. Instead, take a 10-15 minute break every 90 minutes, or even every hour if you can, to help yourself gain energy, get some fresh air, and take a break from monotonous tasks.
Ideally, do something moderately physical during your breaks, like taking a short walk.
Additionally, you can do something social, like a chat with someone in your office, to make your mind more alert.
3-6. Dress up.
Dressing nicer is more likely to make you take yourself seriously and to feel more alert. This doesn't mean you have to dress to the nines if you're home alone. But putting on nice jeans a well-fitting t-shirt will make you feel more alert than if you're wearing sweatpants around the house.
When you feel your energy draining, try reaching for that favorite piece in your wardrobe. Wearing your favorite item can elevate your mood, which in turn gives you more energy.
If you're going out, wear bright colors. These colors will project your energy outward and will make people respond to you in a more energetic way.
3-7. Put on your favorite song.
If you're really feeling tired, nothing will wake you up better than your favorite tune. Put it on, get out your air microphone, and get your groove on to the music.
3-8. Get social.
Talking to people will make you more energetic and alert. Don't just sit through a business meeting or a class; ask questions that make you more actively engaged and wake your mind up. Meet up with friends in the evening to get talking and thinking more; call up a friend to get an energy boost in the afternoon. When you're at work, get up and ask your co-worker a question instead of emailing him; the walk and the conversation will wake you up.
Make a point of adding a social element to your weekly routine, no matter how tired or busy you may be.
3-9. Get some exercise.
Make sure to get exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. This will make you happier and more energetic. Just make sure to exercise in the afternoon or morning; if you work out in the evenings, it may keep you awake longer. Any form of exercise will help raise your energy levels, as long as you don't overdo it.
Get moving any way you can. Take a short walk, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and walk to the bathroom on a different floor of your office building, if you have to. Make sure to make physical actions a daily part of your routine.
Even making an effort to walk 20 minutes instead of driving each day can make a big impact on your energy levels.
Do yoga. Yoga is known to have a positive impact on your energy levels.
Stretch, even if you're not working out. Stretching wakes up the muscles and will make you more alert. It's also something you can do right at your desk.
3-10. Splash cold water on your face.
If you really feel like you're falling asleep and don't want to slap yourself awake, slash some cold, refreshing water on your face. This will make your senses more alert and will wake you up quickly, no matter where you are.
3-11. Quit smoking.
Smokers who quit report a 2-3x improvement in their overall energy levels. You may think that nicotine gives you a small buzz that makes you more energized, but smoking actually leads to fatigue. So if you're a smoker, quitting will have a positive impact on your energy level -- not to mention your overall health.
3-12. Smell lavender.
Have a lavender plant or lavender lotion on hand so you can smell it in moments of need, or just because. It's been known to help students perform better on tests, and it has the power to make you more energetic throughout the day.
3-13. Take a power nap if you need one.
Just napping for 15-20 minutes during the day when you're really feeling tired can make you feel much more alert, energetic, and ready to face the world. If you're feeling tired, then shut everything down and take a brief nap with your eyes closed and your hands resting at your sides. Just make sure you don't take a long nap; sleeping for over an hour during the day can temporarily make you feel better, but it can actually make you more tired and less energetic as the day goes on.
Tips
Try to talk to more people. It actually helps you get energetic.
Warnings
As energetic as the energy drink "Monster" might make you, it'll give you a bad crash in the end. Therefore, it's best to avoid energy drinks and depend more on exercise and healthy foods.
Do not take in more than two energy drinks in one day.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dietary Changes\\n1-1. Eat a healthy breakfast every morning.\\nYou should have a goal of eating breakfast every single morning, even if you're not feeling hungry or are running out of time. Eating breakfast will not only give you more energy in the mornings, but it has been shown to lower stress. You shouldn't eat anything too greasy or heavy; just eat enough to make yourself feel powered up and alive. Here are some great foods to eat:\\nA bowl of cereal\\nOatmeal\\nHard-boiled eggs\\nGreens like spinach, kale, or celery\\nLean turkey or ham\\nBerries, apples, or bananas\\n1-2. Eat every 3-4 hours.\\nEven if you have an incredibly busy schedule, you can always take a minute to eat a snack, especially if you have one on hand. Instead of eating three big meals that leave you stuffed, have three medium-sized meals along with two snacks, one in between breakfast and lunch, and one between lunch and dinner, and see how much your energy levels improve. If your three meals constitute the only food you eat all day, then you will experience a dip in your energy level as you approach your next meal.\\nYour snacks should be healthy, consisting of a mixture of carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats.\\nNuts or berries make a great snack.\\nHave yogurt with granola.\\nHave a small piece of chocolate. You'll get an endorphin kick and will get a tiny boost of energy from the small amount of caffeine in it.\\n1-3. Avoid heavy meals.\\nBreakfast should be your heaviest meal of the day, lunch should be your lightest, and dinner should be medium-heavy. You'll need a bigger breakfast to fortify yourself throughout the day, a smaller lunch to keep yourself from feeling sluggish or lethargic around lunchtime, and a medium-sized dinner to give you sustenance and to keep you from waking up early because of hunger.\\nYour meals should have a mix of carbohydrates, proteins, and fruits or vegetables, and shouldn't be so heavy that they drain your body of energy as it tries to digest all that you've eaten.\\n1-4. Eat more fiber.\\nFiber enters your bloodstream at a slower and steadier pace than carbs do, so they end up giving you more energy throughout the day. When you're choosing a snack option or deciding what to have for lunch, you should consider eating some foods that are known for being high in fiber. Here are some foods to try:\\nRaisin bran\\nA multigrain tortilla\\nBlack beans\\nApples\\nWhole-wheat spaghetti\\n1-5. Eat those Omega-3s.\\nThey are found in fatty fish, walnuts, and canola oil, and they help keep your brain cells healthy and make you feel mentally alert. Try to eat fish at least once every day or two and snack on walnuts whenever you have the chance.\\n1-6. Drink lots of water.\\nIt's important to stay hydrated throughout the day and to drink at least 10 8-oz. glasses of water. Even mild dehydration can lead you to be fatigued, so wherever you go, make sure to bring a water bottle, or hit up the water fountains as often as you can. You can also up your water intake by eating more foods that contain water, such as carrots, yogurt, oranges, and grapefruit.\\nRemember that alcohol and caffeinated beverages can make you dehydrated, so make sure to drink extra water when you are drinking these beverages.\\n1-7. Limit your caffeine intake afternoon.\\nThough caffeine can really boost your energy levels a few hours after you drink it, if you have caffeine afternoon or even in the evening, it will disrupt your sleep. Even if you're feeling very tired in the late afternoon, try to fight the urge to have more caffeine, or you will be tossing and turning all night and will feel even more tired the next day. And what will you want after a night of caffeine-induced restlessness? More caffeine. That's how people get addicted.\\nEven switching from coffee to black or low-caffeine tea can have a positive impact on your energy levels.\\n1-8. Avoid energy drinks.\\nEnergy drinks can be a quick fix if you have to pull an all-nighter after an exam or need the energy to go partying with your friends, but these sugary drinks are not good for your mind or body. After just a few hours, you will feel severe energy come down, may experience bad headaches, and will feel jittery and generally unpleasant. If you really like these drinks, you can have them in case of an absolute emergency, but try to avoid them on the whole.\\n2. Sleep Routine Changes\\n2-1. Avoid alcohol before bed.\\nThough you may like to wind down with a glass of wine, alcohol actually disrupts your sleep cycle. While alcohol may make it easier for you to fall asleep at night, it will also make you have a more shallow sleep and will make you more likely to wake up throughout the night. Make sure to stop drinking alcohol at least 2-3 hours before you go to bed.\\n2-2. Avoid spicy or heavy foods before bed.\\nYou should eat dinner at least 2-3 hours before bed and have a light, healthy snack afterward if you're really craving one. But you should avoid any foods that are extra spicy or extra heavy or creamy, or your body will have a harder time digesting it and a harder time falling asleep.\\n2-3. Turn off all visual stimuli at least an hour before bed.\\nThough you may love watching television until you fall asleep, visual stimuli actually make it harder for you to fall asleep and to have a restful night of sleep. So, turn off the television, your computer, your cell phone, and any other screens other than the screen of your Kindle so that your body can begin to wind down.\\n2-4. Don't do work in your bed.\\nDon't write papers, do research, email your boss, or do anything work-oriented in bed or your wires will get crossed and your body will associate your bed with work and not sleep. Make sure to do all of your work in your workspace, which can be a desk or a home office. Ideally, you should avoid doing any work in your bedroom at all, but if that's not possible, at least avoid doing it in bed.\\n2-5. Have a winding-down routine.\\nFind a winding-down routine that works for you and try to stick to it every night. It could mean drinking a cup of camomile tea, reading the paper, or listening to jazz. Find whatever works for you and stick to it as often as you can so that your body can begin to associate this routine with sleep. Your routine should begin at last an hour before sleep. It's difficult to move straight from work, or fun, into the world of sleep.\\n2-6. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every night.\\nThough this may sound easier said than done, you should make an effort to go to bed around the same time and to wake up around the same time every night. In fact, getting eight hours a night two days in a row during two wildly different sleeping patterns will make you feel less well-rested than getting seven hours during the same time frame for two nights in a row.\\nTry going to bed within the same hour range, at least. Say, go to bed between 10 and 11 pm and wake up between 6 and 7 am.\\n2-7. Follow the fifteen-minute rule.\\nThe rule is simple. If you're tossing and turning in bed and absolutely can't fall asleep after fifteen minutes, get up and do something that relaxes your mind, such as listening to classical music or reading. You can turn on a soft light to do this, but nothing too bright or you will make yourself even more alert. Try reading something slightly boring -- nothing that gets you even more excited.\\n2-8. Lower the temperature before you fall asleep.\\nYour body naturally lowers its temperature when you sleep, so the temperature of your environment should match your body temperature. So, before you go to bed, turn down the thermostat to at least 74 degrees; ideally, between 74 and 54 degrees. You can also crack open a window if it's chilly outside.\\n2-9. Stop sleeping with Fluffy the cat.\\nYou may love it when Fluffy the cat sleeps between your legs, but how about when he runs up and down the room, paws at your head, or knocks over your favorite necklace in the middle of the night? Over half of pet owners who let their pets sleep in the same bed as them report having disrupted sleep because of it at least once a night, so keep your beloved cat or dog out of the bedroom.\\nIf your pet is hurt by this development, just assure him that it only means you'll have even more energy for cuddling with him in the morning.\\n2-10. If you hit snooze, you lose.\\nDon't hit the snooze button five times before you finally get up. Hit your alarm, stretch your arms high, and immediately take in a big gulp of air. After that, get up, get some fresh air, and start your day. Hitting your snooze button will only through you back into an unsatisfying, shallow sleep, and it will not only waste time, but it will make it harder for you to get up.\\nIf you really struggle with getting up without hitting the snooze button five times, then it may be a sign that you're chronically not getting enough sleep.\\n3. Daily Routine Changes\\n3-1. Change your socks in the middle of the day.\\nThat's right. Get in the habit of changing your socks before or after lunch. You'll be amazed by how much more alert, clean, and energized this will make you feel.\\n3-2. Go outside.\\nThis is especially important if you work in an office and spend most of your day at your desk. Take a break and go outside, breathe some fresh air, and let the sun hit your face. Spending just 20-30 minutes outside each day will have a dramatic impact on your energy level. And if you have some work to do that can be done outside, then bring it to the park.\\nOf course, spending all day in the hot, hot sun could zap your energy levels and may make you more tired.\\n3-3. Eat your multi-vitamin at lunch.\\nIf you take a multi-vitamin (and you should), then your best move is to take it at lunch, with food, so that the small amount of energy in it helps give you an additional boost. If you take it with dinner, you'll be more likely to disturb your sleep.\\n3-4. Let there be light.\\nTurn on your lights when you get up, and spend some time in natural sunlight if you can. Any form of light will do -- it's been proved to make people more alert, energetic, and awake.\\n3-5. Take breaks every 90 minutes or less.\\nMost people can't focus on one task for over 90 minutes, and that's okay. Don't try to force yourself to get a job done if you're feeling fatigued or like you just can't push yourself to finish it. Instead, take a 10-15 minute break every 90 minutes, or even every hour if you can, to help yourself gain energy, get some fresh air, and take a break from monotonous tasks.\\nIdeally, do something moderately physical during your breaks, like taking a short walk.\\nAdditionally, you can do something social, like a chat with someone in your office, to make your mind more alert.\\n3-6. Dress up.\\nDressing nicer is more likely to make you take yourself seriously and to feel more alert. This doesn't mean you have to dress to the nines if you're home alone. But putting on nice jeans a well-fitting t-shirt will make you feel more alert than if you're wearing sweatpants around the house.\\nWhen you feel your energy draining, try reaching for that favorite piece in your wardrobe. Wearing your favorite item can elevate your mood, which in turn gives you more energy.\\nIf you're going out, wear bright colors. These colors will project your energy outward and will make people respond to you in a more energetic way.\\n3-7. Put on your favorite song.\\nIf you're really feeling tired, nothing will wake you up better than your favorite tune. Put it on, get out your air microphone, and get your groove on to the music.\\n3-8. Get social.\\nTalking to people will make you more energetic and alert. Don't just sit through a business meeting or a class; ask questions that make you more actively engaged and wake your mind up. Meet up with friends in the evening to get talking and thinking more; call up a friend to get an energy boost in the afternoon. When you're at work, get up and ask your co-worker a question instead of emailing him; the walk and the conversation will wake you up.\\nMake a point of adding a social element to your weekly routine, no matter how tired or busy you may be.\\n3-9. Get some exercise.\\nMake sure to get exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. This will make you happier and more energetic. Just make sure to exercise in the afternoon or morning; if you work out in the evenings, it may keep you awake longer. Any form of exercise will help raise your energy levels, as long as you don't overdo it.\\nGet moving any way you can. Take a short walk, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and walk to the bathroom on a different floor of your office building, if you have to. Make sure to make physical actions a daily part of your routine.\\nEven making an effort to walk 20 minutes instead of driving each day can make a big impact on your energy levels.\\nDo yoga. Yoga is known to have a positive impact on your energy levels.\\nStretch, even if you're not working out. Stretching wakes up the muscles and will make you more alert. It's also something you can do right at your desk.\\n3-10. Splash cold water on your face.\\nIf you really feel like you're falling asleep and don't want to slap yourself awake, slash some cold, refreshing water on your face. This will make your senses more alert and will wake you up quickly, no matter where you are.\\n3-11. Quit smoking.\\nSmokers who quit report a 2-3x improvement in their overall energy levels. You may think that nicotine gives you a small buzz that makes you more energized, but smoking actually leads to fatigue. So if you're a smoker, quitting will have a positive impact on your energy level -- not to mention your overall health.\\n3-12. Smell lavender.\\nHave a lavender plant or lavender lotion on hand so you can smell it in moments of need, or just because. It's been known to help students perform better on tests, and it has the power to make you more energetic throughout the day.\\n3-13. Take a power nap if you need one.\\nJust napping for 15-20 minutes during the day when you're really feeling tired can make you feel much more alert, energetic, and ready to face the world. If you're feeling tired, then shut everything down and take a brief nap with your eyes closed and your hands resting at your sides. Just make sure you don't take a long nap; sleeping for over an hour during the day can temporarily make you feel better, but it can actually make you more tired and less energetic as the day goes on.\\nTips\\nTry to talk to more people. It actually helps you get energetic.\\nWarnings\\nAs energetic as the energy drink \\\"Monster\\\" might make you, it'll give you a bad crash in the end. Therefore, it's best to avoid energy drinks and depend more on exercise and healthy foods.\\nDo not take in more than two energy drinks in one day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having more energy will make you able to have more fun with your friends, to get more work done, and to feel happier and healthier throughout the day. If you want to know how to be more energetic, just follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dietary Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy breakfast every morning.\", \"描述\": \"You should have a goal of eating breakfast every single morning, even if you're not feeling hungry or are running out of time. Eating breakfast will not only give you more energy in the mornings, but it has been shown to lower stress. You shouldn't eat anything too greasy or heavy; just eat enough to make yourself feel powered up and alive. Here are some great foods to eat:\\nA bowl of cereal\\nOatmeal\\nHard-boiled eggs\\nGreens like spinach, kale, or celery\\nLean turkey or ham\\nBerries, apples, or bananas\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat every 3-4 hours.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you have an incredibly busy schedule, you can always take a minute to eat a snack, especially if you have one on hand. Instead of eating three big meals that leave you stuffed, have three medium-sized meals along with two snacks, one in between breakfast and lunch, and one between lunch and dinner, and see how much your energy levels improve. If your three meals constitute the only food you eat all day, then you will experience a dip in your energy level as you approach your next meal.\\nYour snacks should be healthy, consisting of a mixture of carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats.\\nNuts or berries make a great snack.\\nHave yogurt with granola.\\nHave a small piece of chocolate. You'll get an endorphin kick and will get a tiny boost of energy from the small amount of caffeine in it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid heavy meals.\", \"描述\": \"Breakfast should be your heaviest meal of the day, lunch should be your lightest, and dinner should be medium-heavy. You'll need a bigger breakfast to fortify yourself throughout the day, a smaller lunch to keep yourself from feeling sluggish or lethargic around lunchtime, and a medium-sized dinner to give you sustenance and to keep you from waking up early because of hunger.\\nYour meals should have a mix of carbohydrates, proteins, and fruits or vegetables, and shouldn't be so heavy that they drain your body of energy as it tries to digest all that you've eaten.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat more fiber.\", \"描述\": \"Fiber enters your bloodstream at a slower and steadier pace than carbs do, so they end up giving you more energy throughout the day. When you're choosing a snack option or deciding what to have for lunch, you should consider eating some foods that are known for being high in fiber. Here are some foods to try:\\nRaisin bran\\nA multigrain tortilla\\nBlack beans\\nApples\\nWhole-wheat spaghetti\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eat those Omega-3s.\", \"描述\": \"They are found in fatty fish, walnuts, and canola oil, and they help keep your brain cells healthy and make you feel mentally alert. Try to eat fish at least once every day or two and snack on walnuts whenever you have the chance.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Drink lots of water.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to stay hydrated throughout the day and to drink at least 10 8-oz. glasses of water. Even mild dehydration can lead you to be fatigued, so wherever you go, make sure to bring a water bottle, or hit up the water fountains as often as you can. You can also up your water intake by eating more foods that contain water, such as carrots, yogurt, oranges, and grapefruit.\\nRemember that alcohol and caffeinated beverages can make you dehydrated, so make sure to drink extra water when you are drinking these beverages.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Limit your caffeine intake afternoon.\", \"描述\": \"Though caffeine can really boost your energy levels a few hours after you drink it, if you have caffeine afternoon or even in the evening, it will disrupt your sleep. Even if you're feeling very tired in the late afternoon, try to fight the urge to have more caffeine, or you will be tossing and turning all night and will feel even more tired the next day. And what will you want after a night of caffeine-induced restlessness? More caffeine. That's how people get addicted.\\nEven switching from coffee to black or low-caffeine tea can have a positive impact on your energy levels.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid energy drinks.\", \"描述\": \"Energy drinks can be a quick fix if you have to pull an all-nighter after an exam or need the energy to go partying with your friends, but these sugary drinks are not good for your mind or body. After just a few hours, you will feel severe energy come down, may experience bad headaches, and will feel jittery and generally unpleasant. If you really like these drinks, you can have them in case of an absolute emergency, but try to avoid them on the whole.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sleep Routine Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid alcohol before bed.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may like to wind down with a glass of wine, alcohol actually disrupts your sleep cycle. While alcohol may make it easier for you to fall asleep at night, it will also make you have a more shallow sleep and will make you more likely to wake up throughout the night. Make sure to stop drinking alcohol at least 2-3 hours before you go to bed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid spicy or heavy foods before bed.\", \"描述\": \"You should eat dinner at least 2-3 hours before bed and have a light, healthy snack afterward if you're really craving one. But you should avoid any foods that are extra spicy or extra heavy or creamy, or your body will have a harder time digesting it and a harder time falling asleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn off all visual stimuli at least an hour before bed.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may love watching television until you fall asleep, visual stimuli actually make it harder for you to fall asleep and to have a restful night of sleep. So, turn off the television, your computer, your cell phone, and any other screens other than the screen of your Kindle so that your body can begin to wind down.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't do work in your bed.\", \"描述\": \"Don't write papers, do research, email your boss, or do anything work-oriented in bed or your wires will get crossed and your body will associate your bed with work and not sleep. Make sure to do all of your work in your workspace, which can be a desk or a home office. Ideally, you should avoid doing any work in your bedroom at all, but if that's not possible, at least avoid doing it in bed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a winding-down routine.\", \"描述\": \"Find a winding-down routine that works for you and try to stick to it every night. It could mean drinking a cup of camomile tea, reading the paper, or listening to jazz. Find whatever works for you and stick to it as often as you can so that your body can begin to associate this routine with sleep. Your routine should begin at last an hour before sleep. It's difficult to move straight from work, or fun, into the world of sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go to bed and wake up at the same time every night.\", \"描述\": \"Though this may sound easier said than done, you should make an effort to go to bed around the same time and to wake up around the same time every night. In fact, getting eight hours a night two days in a row during two wildly different sleeping patterns will make you feel less well-rested than getting seven hours during the same time frame for two nights in a row.\\nTry going to bed within the same hour range, at least. Say, go to bed between 10 and 11 pm and wake up between 6 and 7 am.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Follow the fifteen-minute rule.\", \"描述\": \"The rule is simple. If you're tossing and turning in bed and absolutely can't fall asleep after fifteen minutes, get up and do something that relaxes your mind, such as listening to classical music or reading. You can turn on a soft light to do this, but nothing too bright or you will make yourself even more alert. Try reading something slightly boring -- nothing that gets you even more excited.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Lower the temperature before you fall asleep.\", \"描述\": \"Your body naturally lowers its temperature when you sleep, so the temperature of your environment should match your body temperature. So, before you go to bed, turn down the thermostat to at least 74 degrees; ideally, between 74 and 54 degrees. You can also crack open a window if it's chilly outside.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Stop sleeping with Fluffy the cat.\", \"描述\": \"You may love it when Fluffy the cat sleeps between your legs, but how about when he runs up and down the room, paws at your head, or knocks over your favorite necklace in the middle of the night? Over half of pet owners who let their pets sleep in the same bed as them report having disrupted sleep because of it at least once a night, so keep your beloved cat or dog out of the bedroom.\\nIf your pet is hurt by this development, just assure him that it only means you'll have even more energy for cuddling with him in the morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"If you hit snooze, you lose.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hit the snooze button five times before you finally get up. Hit your alarm, stretch your arms high, and immediately take in a big gulp of air. After that, get up, get some fresh air, and start your day. Hitting your snooze button will only through you back into an unsatisfying, shallow sleep, and it will not only waste time, but it will make it harder for you to get up.\\nIf you really struggle with getting up without hitting the snooze button five times, then it may be a sign that you're chronically not getting enough sleep.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Daily Routine Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change your socks in the middle of the day.\", \"描述\": \"That's right. Get in the habit of changing your socks before or after lunch. You'll be amazed by how much more alert, clean, and energized this will make you feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go outside.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important if you work in an office and spend most of your day at your desk. Take a break and go outside, breathe some fresh air, and let the sun hit your face. Spending just 20-30 minutes outside each day will have a dramatic impact on your energy level. And if you have some work to do that can be done outside, then bring it to the park.\\nOf course, spending all day in the hot, hot sun could zap your energy levels and may make you more tired.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat your multi-vitamin at lunch.\", \"描述\": \"If you take a multi-vitamin (and you should), then your best move is to take it at lunch, with food, so that the small amount of energy in it helps give you an additional boost. If you take it with dinner, you'll be more likely to disturb your sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let there be light.\", \"描述\": \"Turn on your lights when you get up, and spend some time in natural sunlight if you can. Any form of light will do -- it's been proved to make people more alert, energetic, and awake.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take breaks every 90 minutes or less.\", \"描述\": \"Most people can't focus on one task for over 90 minutes, and that's okay. Don't try to force yourself to get a job done if you're feeling fatigued or like you just can't push yourself to finish it. Instead, take a 10-15 minute break every 90 minutes, or even every hour if you can, to help yourself gain energy, get some fresh air, and take a break from monotonous tasks.\\nIdeally, do something moderately physical during your breaks, like taking a short walk.\\nAdditionally, you can do something social, like a chat with someone in your office, to make your mind more alert.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Dress up.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing nicer is more likely to make you take yourself seriously and to feel more alert. This doesn't mean you have to dress to the nines if you're home alone. But putting on nice jeans a well-fitting t-shirt will make you feel more alert than if you're wearing sweatpants around the house.\\nWhen you feel your energy draining, try reaching for that favorite piece in your wardrobe. Wearing your favorite item can elevate your mood, which in turn gives you more energy.\\nIf you're going out, wear bright colors. These colors will project your energy outward and will make people respond to you in a more energetic way.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Put on your favorite song.\", \"描述\": \"If you're really feeling tired, nothing will wake you up better than your favorite tune. Put it on, get out your air microphone, and get your groove on to the music.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Get social.\", \"描述\": \"Talking to people will make you more energetic and alert. Don't just sit through a business meeting or a class; ask questions that make you more actively engaged and wake your mind up. Meet up with friends in the evening to get talking and thinking more; call up a friend to get an energy boost in the afternoon. When you're at work, get up and ask your co-worker a question instead of emailing him; the walk and the conversation will wake you up.\\nMake a point of adding a social element to your weekly routine, no matter how tired or busy you may be.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get some exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to get exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. This will make you happier and more energetic. Just make sure to exercise in the afternoon or morning; if you work out in the evenings, it may keep you awake longer. Any form of exercise will help raise your energy levels, as long as you don't overdo it.\\nGet moving any way you can. Take a short walk, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and walk to the bathroom on a different floor of your office building, if you have to. Make sure to make physical actions a daily part of your routine.\\nEven making an effort to walk 20 minutes instead of driving each day can make a big impact on your energy levels.\\nDo yoga. Yoga is known to have a positive impact on your energy levels.\\nStretch, even if you're not working out. Stretching wakes up the muscles and will make you more alert. It's also something you can do right at your desk.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Splash cold water on your face.\", \"描述\": \"If you really feel like you're falling asleep and don't want to slap yourself awake, slash some cold, refreshing water on your face. This will make your senses more alert and will wake you up quickly, no matter where you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Quit smoking.\", \"描述\": \"Smokers who quit report a 2-3x improvement in their overall energy levels. You may think that nicotine gives you a small buzz that makes you more energized, but smoking actually leads to fatigue. So if you're a smoker, quitting will have a positive impact on your energy level -- not to mention your overall health.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Smell lavender.\", \"描述\": \"Have a lavender plant or lavender lotion on hand so you can smell it in moments of need, or just because. It's been known to help students perform better on tests, and it has the power to make you more energetic throughout the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Take a power nap if you need one.\", \"描述\": \"Just napping for 15-20 minutes during the day when you're really feeling tired can make you feel much more alert, energetic, and ready to face the world. If you're feeling tired, then shut everything down and take a brief nap with your eyes closed and your hands resting at your sides. Just make sure you don't take a long nap; sleeping for over an hour during the day can temporarily make you feel better, but it can actually make you more tired and less energetic as the day goes on.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to talk to more people. It actually helps you get energetic.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"As energetic as the energy drink \\\"Monster\\\" might make you, it'll give you a bad crash in the end. Therefore, it's best to avoid energy drinks and depend more on exercise and healthy foods.\\n\", \"Do not take in more than two energy drinks in one day.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,944 | How to Be More Enthusiastic | 1. Getting Your Head Right
1-1. Find yourself
It's pretty hard to be enthusiastic about life when you're living someone else's. Not being yourself is just so draining; no wonder it's hard to muster up enthusiasm. In order to channel that gusto, you gotta be yourself first and foremost. Pretending to be something you're not takes up all your resources you could be using on doing what you actually enjoy and could get excited about.
A lot of us try super hard to fit into a mold that society has deemed correct. Boo. We're not going to enjoy the things our friends enjoy, we're not going to get fulfillment out of the things that fulfill others. So don't waste your time! It's only when you're naturally you that you can find what drives you and grab a firm hold. Then you can work on being enthusiastic.
1-2. Figure out why you're lacking enthusiasm.
You're on this page for a reason. Most likely someone around you is giving you crap about your lack of energy. Very few people look objectively at themselves and say, "Hmm. I wonder why I'm not peppier." But whatever your reason, you probably have an inkling as to why. Is it your job? Your love life? Or is it more of a universal, 24/7 thing that's dragging you down?
It's natural to get stuck in a rut. These things happen. They also end at some point. But then there's clinical depression and that's a whole other can of worms. If it's something you've never thought about, think about it now. Is it a lack of enthusiasm or is it a bigger issue? What's your gut tell you?
1-3. Start thinking positively.
If someone handed you a math test and said, "Here's the exam. It's stuff you didn't even dream of touching in college. Good luck, kid," how might that feel? Pretty daunting, probably. If instead they said, "Here's the exam -- it's gonna be tough, but it's doable," what would you think then? You'd be a lot more motivated and feel a lot better about taking that exam! The same goes for enthusiasm; you're not gonna get excited about something if it's terrible!
Think about it. How easy is it to be excited about something that's doable and that you know you're capable of achieving? It's a lot harder to get enthusiastic about things that we straight up don't think will ever materialize. And what's often the difference? Our way of thinking. Sometimes, that's literally the only obstacle.
1-4. Define your goals and how you'll achieve them.
Now that you're at least trying to think positive, what are the goals that you'd like to achieve? How would you go about achieving them? What do you want to be enthusiastic about? It's hard to be enthusiastic when we're floundering about life without purpose.
Knowing exactly what you want to do and exactly how you want to go about it is giving you something to be enthusiastic about. If you want to get skinny, it's hard to be enthusiastic about wanting to get skinny. But if you're working out 30 minutes a week and eating tons of veggies, that's direct behavior to get excited about.
1-5. Convince yourself.
It's all well and good to have goals, but you gotta actually believe that you can achieve them. If your goal is too lofty, bring it down a notch. Bring it down a notch until you can readily believe that it's something you can make happen. If it's realistic, the only thing stopping you is you.
Having a goal of becoming the King or Queen of England would be pretty damn hard to get excited about. Make sure your goals are feasible -- if in doubt, just start on a slightly smaller scale. Want to start your own business but don't know thing one about it? Make goals of taking business courses and networking. Smaller things that are totally doable and totally useful.
1-6. Get over your fear of disappointment/making the wrong decision/looking silly.
Often when we're not enthusiastic, it's because we've made up some excuse as to why not to be. We don't want to be enthusiastic because we don't want to get our hopes up, we're not enthusiastic because we're too unsure to be enthusiastic, or we're not enthusiastic because we're worried others will judge us. These are all crap reasons! Your enthusiasm should be undaunted and unaffected by others or by insecurities. What's stopping you?
Realize that your desire to be enthusiastic is there -- it's just buried under a pile of worry and fear. When we grow up, often adults call that "reason." It's very much so a learned thing. We had it when we were children; it's time to get it back!
2. Finding Motivation
2-1. Find what you really enjoy and do it all the time.
It's no way to live life unhappy. Working a pointless job, drinking away the weekends, surrounding ourselves with meaningless relationships -- it all can get quite bleak. It's no wonder being enthusiastic is a struggle when we're behind a screen 8 hours a day, eating junk and lamenting our current circumstances. However you can, find something you enjoy and stick with it. Do it as much as you can. Give your life that spark it needs to generate enthusiasm.
It does not matter what it is. Whether it's building model airplanes, cooking, karate, or German karaoke, do it. Make time for it. Rearrange your schedule. Sacrifice other obligations. Make it a part of your routine. If it gives you drive and ignites a fire within you, latch onto it and latch onto it good. The enthusiasm will flow from there.
2-2. Keep good company.
Ever been in a room full of naysayers, raggin' on the government, current trends, all their coworkers and acquaintances? It sucks and it's super contagious. Before you know it, you're hating on everything, too. Don't do it! These people take what little enthusiasm can be mustered and pulverize it into oblivion. If you want to work on your positivity and enthusiasm, these people need to play a much smaller role in your life.
The first step is to end your toxic friendships. If you get about 5 seconds to think about it, you'll probably have a good idea of who this means. Once the negativity is expunged, think up of three people that truly make you feel downright good. When you have free time, they should be the people you go to. They can be enthusiasm role models to boot!
2-3. Get healthy.
You know how people say if you eat junk food, you'll feel crappy all day? Well, it's true. And it's a lot harder to feel mentally in the zone when you're not physically in it, either. So eat healthy! Your enthusiasm is worth it, right?
Here's another example: have you ever been laying in bed all day, wondering why you're so exhausted? And then you realize it's because you haven't done a damn thing all day. Getting up and exercising would make you that much more energized. So start exercising! That endorphin rush will be step one to feeling the inspiration flow through your views.
Get a good night's sleep! It's so hard to be enthusiastic when we're tired. In fact, we're pretty much the opposite of enthusiastic when we're exhausted. If you haven't been sleeping lately, that could be a cause of your lack of energy. So rest up!
2-4. Make a list of things you're grateful for.
You know that positive thinking is imperative to being enthusiastic, but finding the motivation for that positivity can be tough. To lessen the burden, make a list of things you're grateful for. Seeing a concrete list of everything you have going for will make it hard to deny why you should be enthusiastic.
Don't give up after 5 minutes. Sometimes it's hard to think of things we're grateful for because we have them. We have them 24/7, so their awesomeness goes away. Your legs. Remember those? Those are awesome. Aren't you glad you have them?
2-5. Act enthusiastic.
You know that ol' saying "practice makes perfect?" Well, it's crap. But practice does make habit. Act enthusiastic for long enough and eventually it'll be your go-to emotion. It'll take some time, but it's definitely doable. So don that enthusiastic hat of yours and start faking it!
Yeah, it's gonna suck for a bit. It's gonna feel like you're being a phony. Smiling and laughing and saying things like, "Oooh, yeah!" are going to feel foreign. If nothing else, start saying them sardonically. Be chipper to poke fun at the anti-chipperness of your personality. Find an excuse to fake it until you're not faking it any longer.
3. Projecting Enthusiasm
3-1. Exclaim things.
Alright, so maybe you're not really in the mood to put in tons of effort. But you are of the practice makes habit sort of mind, so how can you fake it? Start by exclaiming things. Whether it's "Hell yeah!" or "jolly good," or "Well sit me down and call me Sally!" is up to you. The more you react and with pizzazz, the more people will be fooled.
Imagine your friend Ted walks into the room. You two make eye contact, give each other a nod, and you say, "Sup." Not even in question form. Just "sup." He responds with, "Yo." Greeting exchanged. Now imagine Ted walks into the room and you say, "HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" and then you run around to room, arms flailing like the T-Rex you've always wanted to be. Who's enthusiastic now, huh?
3-2. Move around.
So an integral part of "HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" was the running around bit. You can't really sit back in your armchair, eyebrows unmoving, glued to the Discovery channel and exclaim those words with the same effect (well, you could...). So the next time you find yourself thinking, "It would be appropriate to be excited right now," do something with yourself. Jump up and down. Wave your arms like a madman (don't do this in public). Hi-five your grandma (especially if she's the one who wants you to be more energetic). Make a choice and commit to it.
You could do a happy dance. You could make a finger gun and pretend you're the Fonz. You could point your thumbs at yourself and talk about how awesome you are. Why don't you try them all out and see what reactions you get?
3-3. Get theatrical.
When you're thinking "enthusiasm...enthusiasm," instead try thinking, "bigger." How can you make everything you're doing bigger? Try remembering this: you're not in a movie. There is no camera. You're on a stage where you have to show 1500 people in the 4th balcony that's practically a half mile away of what you're feeling, thinking, and doing. How might your behavior get grander?
The next time your roommate walks in and says, "Hey, roomie. I just made cupcakes!" you're not going to respond with, "Oh, awesome, thanks. I love cupcakes." No, no, no. You're going to punch the air John Bender Breakfast Club style, get on both knees and exclaim, "My cupcake queen, how can I repay thee?" and then run to the kitchen and shove a cupcake in your face. You're truly taking one for the team. Go you.
3-4. Use your face.
All of this advice just won't jive with those around you if your face doesn't match your words, tone, or body. When Ted walks in the room, smile. Widen your eyes. When roommate #2 informs you she's made you cupcakes, drop your jaw in gratitude. Whenever you're faking an emotion (you can be enthusiastically negative, by the way), make sure you're covering all your bases.
You know exactly how to do this. You've seen people before and what facial expressions go with what emotion. The only thing you have to change is to make it bigger, making sure it registers with people. You gotta make sure your enthusiasm is heard and seen.
3-5. Go for volume.
So about that "heard" part. It's not so much that loudness equates with enthusiasm, it's just that quietness usually equates with a lack of enthusiasm. So when you're telling Ted how happy you are to see him, don't do it in a whisper. When you're overjoyed about cupcakes, put your lungs to work. There's no need to scream, but your enthusiasm should be a bit unconstrained, if you will. Take whatever's normal for you and bump 'er up a notch.
Think of what a teenage girl does when she sees Robert Pattinson or Justin Bieber. She screams and gets all flitty. Don't do that. But do make a note. When enthusiasm needs to be displayed, channel your inner Team Edward (but feel free to keep it at a dull roar). If nothing else, do it satirically. Only you need to know that you're poking fun at those around you. Why do they demand enthusiasm anyway?
4. Staying Enthusiastic
4-1. Ask questions.
A simple way to seem enthusiastic is to ask questions. It shows you're interested and engaged in the moment. And then what happens when you ask questions? People respond and they might say something that actually sparks your interest, if it didn't before. So make the first step! Ask questions, get the ball rolling, and see how it grows from there.
It's easy to write off a topic/thing/person as uninteresting, judging a book by its cover, if you will. Resist! If you're tempted, make it a point to pry a bit further. You may find that lifting the veil sparks your curiosity. And that curiosity may lead you to finding something worth being enthusiastic about!
4-2. Laugh
One of the simplest ways to get happy is to start laughing. Start laughing and being happy and enthusiasm will follow. It can naturally put you in a better mood and get the creativity and positivity flowing.
4-3. Get awe-ful.
After a certain amount of time in an environment, the novelty of it all goes away. You quit noticing what once stopped you dead in your tracks with its beauty. You stop asking questions and wondering. You stop feeling awestruck. When that happens, enthusiasm escapes like grains of sand through your fingers. All of a sudden life is drab and unremarkable. Don't let that happen.
Simple things like the beauty of a sunset can bring enthusiasm back. The architecture of your favorite local building. Heck, a group of children building snowmen. When you stop and smell the roses, you just might stop and find what'll keep you going -- what can be downright inspiring.
4-4. Try new things.
A simple way to start getting awestruck again is to try to new things. Life can get boring doing the same ol', same ol' -- so mix it up! It's impossible to maintain enthusiasm about something you've been doing year in and year out. And it's ridiculous to expect yourself to be enthusiastic if you don't have an exciting routine!
Even the smallest of change-ups can do wonders. Have you been running 3 miles (4.8 km) a day for the past six months? Find a new trail! Start cooking at home. Pick up a hobby. Go thrift shopping. Explore the tourist attractions in your area. It doesn't have to be big; it just has to be different.
4-5. Keep learning.
Imagine a relationship with a person that you've known your entire life. It probably starts getting a little boring when you stop learning about that person, when you know everything there is to know. The same goes for life! If you quit learning, you'll run out of reasons to get inspired. So do more thorough research, seek out experts, tap into your network. Whatever it is you want to do, dig in deeper.
It doesn't have to be book learning. You can learn from those around you, you can learn from yourself, heck, you can learn from wikiHow. Just keep seeking knowledge -- the more you know, the more interesting things become. Life included!
Warnings
Sudden zest for life may cause feelings of elation, dizziness and heart palpitations. It may also cause more people to actually enjoy your company.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Your Head Right\\n1-1. Find yourself\\nIt's pretty hard to be enthusiastic about life when you're living someone else's. Not being yourself is just so draining; no wonder it's hard to muster up enthusiasm. In order to channel that gusto, you gotta be yourself first and foremost. Pretending to be something you're not takes up all your resources you could be using on doing what you actually enjoy and could get excited about.\\nA lot of us try super hard to fit into a mold that society has deemed correct. Boo. We're not going to enjoy the things our friends enjoy, we're not going to get fulfillment out of the things that fulfill others. So don't waste your time! It's only when you're naturally you that you can find what drives you and grab a firm hold. Then you can work on being enthusiastic.\\n1-2. Figure out why you're lacking enthusiasm.\\nYou're on this page for a reason. Most likely someone around you is giving you crap about your lack of energy. Very few people look objectively at themselves and say, \\\"Hmm. I wonder why I'm not peppier.\\\" But whatever your reason, you probably have an inkling as to why. Is it your job? Your love life? Or is it more of a universal, 24/7 thing that's dragging you down?\\nIt's natural to get stuck in a rut. These things happen. They also end at some point. But then there's clinical depression and that's a whole other can of worms. If it's something you've never thought about, think about it now. Is it a lack of enthusiasm or is it a bigger issue? What's your gut tell you?\\n1-3. Start thinking positively.\\nIf someone handed you a math test and said, \\\"Here's the exam. It's stuff you didn't even dream of touching in college. Good luck, kid,\\\" how might that feel? Pretty daunting, probably. If instead they said, \\\"Here's the exam -- it's gonna be tough, but it's doable,\\\" what would you think then? You'd be a lot more motivated and feel a lot better about taking that exam! The same goes for enthusiasm; you're not gonna get excited about something if it's terrible!\\nThink about it. How easy is it to be excited about something that's doable and that you know you're capable of achieving? It's a lot harder to get enthusiastic about things that we straight up don't think will ever materialize. And what's often the difference? Our way of thinking. Sometimes, that's literally the only obstacle.\\n1-4. Define your goals and how you'll achieve them.\\nNow that you're at least trying to think positive, what are the goals that you'd like to achieve? How would you go about achieving them? What do you want to be enthusiastic about? It's hard to be enthusiastic when we're floundering about life without purpose.\\nKnowing exactly what you want to do and exactly how you want to go about it is giving you something to be enthusiastic about. If you want to get skinny, it's hard to be enthusiastic about wanting to get skinny. But if you're working out 30 minutes a week and eating tons of veggies, that's direct behavior to get excited about.\\n1-5. Convince yourself.\\nIt's all well and good to have goals, but you gotta actually believe that you can achieve them. If your goal is too lofty, bring it down a notch. Bring it down a notch until you can readily believe that it's something you can make happen. If it's realistic, the only thing stopping you is you.\\nHaving a goal of becoming the King or Queen of England would be pretty damn hard to get excited about. Make sure your goals are feasible -- if in doubt, just start on a slightly smaller scale. Want to start your own business but don't know thing one about it? Make goals of taking business courses and networking. Smaller things that are totally doable and totally useful.\\n1-6. Get over your fear of disappointment/making the wrong decision/looking silly.\\nOften when we're not enthusiastic, it's because we've made up some excuse as to why not to be. We don't want to be enthusiastic because we don't want to get our hopes up, we're not enthusiastic because we're too unsure to be enthusiastic, or we're not enthusiastic because we're worried others will judge us. These are all crap reasons! Your enthusiasm should be undaunted and unaffected by others or by insecurities. What's stopping you?\\nRealize that your desire to be enthusiastic is there -- it's just buried under a pile of worry and fear. When we grow up, often adults call that \\\"reason.\\\" It's very much so a learned thing. We had it when we were children; it's time to get it back!\\n2. Finding Motivation\\n2-1. Find what you really enjoy and do it all the time.\\nIt's no way to live life unhappy. Working a pointless job, drinking away the weekends, surrounding ourselves with meaningless relationships -- it all can get quite bleak. It's no wonder being enthusiastic is a struggle when we're behind a screen 8 hours a day, eating junk and lamenting our current circumstances. However you can, find something you enjoy and stick with it. Do it as much as you can. Give your life that spark it needs to generate enthusiasm.\\nIt does not matter what it is. Whether it's building model airplanes, cooking, karate, or German karaoke, do it. Make time for it. Rearrange your schedule. Sacrifice other obligations. Make it a part of your routine. If it gives you drive and ignites a fire within you, latch onto it and latch onto it good. The enthusiasm will flow from there.\\n2-2. Keep good company.\\nEver been in a room full of naysayers, raggin' on the government, current trends, all their coworkers and acquaintances? It sucks and it's super contagious. Before you know it, you're hating on everything, too. Don't do it! These people take what little enthusiasm can be mustered and pulverize it into oblivion. If you want to work on your positivity and enthusiasm, these people need to play a much smaller role in your life.\\nThe first step is to end your toxic friendships. If you get about 5 seconds to think about it, you'll probably have a good idea of who this means. Once the negativity is expunged, think up of three people that truly make you feel downright good. When you have free time, they should be the people you go to. They can be enthusiasm role models to boot!\\n2-3. Get healthy.\\nYou know how people say if you eat junk food, you'll feel crappy all day? Well, it's true. And it's a lot harder to feel mentally in the zone when you're not physically in it, either. So eat healthy! Your enthusiasm is worth it, right?\\nHere's another example: have you ever been laying in bed all day, wondering why you're so exhausted? And then you realize it's because you haven't done a damn thing all day. Getting up and exercising would make you that much more energized. So start exercising! That endorphin rush will be step one to feeling the inspiration flow through your views.\\n\\nGet a good night's sleep! It's so hard to be enthusiastic when we're tired. In fact, we're pretty much the opposite of enthusiastic when we're exhausted. If you haven't been sleeping lately, that could be a cause of your lack of energy. So rest up!\\n2-4. Make a list of things you're grateful for.\\nYou know that positive thinking is imperative to being enthusiastic, but finding the motivation for that positivity can be tough. To lessen the burden, make a list of things you're grateful for. Seeing a concrete list of everything you have going for will make it hard to deny why you should be enthusiastic.\\nDon't give up after 5 minutes. Sometimes it's hard to think of things we're grateful for because we have them. We have them 24/7, so their awesomeness goes away. Your legs. Remember those? Those are awesome. Aren't you glad you have them?\\n2-5. Act enthusiastic.\\nYou know that ol' saying \\\"practice makes perfect?\\\" Well, it's crap. But practice does make habit. Act enthusiastic for long enough and eventually it'll be your go-to emotion. It'll take some time, but it's definitely doable. So don that enthusiastic hat of yours and start faking it!\\nYeah, it's gonna suck for a bit. It's gonna feel like you're being a phony. Smiling and laughing and saying things like, \\\"Oooh, yeah!\\\" are going to feel foreign. If nothing else, start saying them sardonically. Be chipper to poke fun at the anti-chipperness of your personality. Find an excuse to fake it until you're not faking it any longer.\\n3. Projecting Enthusiasm\\n3-1. Exclaim things.\\nAlright, so maybe you're not really in the mood to put in tons of effort. But you are of the practice makes habit sort of mind, so how can you fake it? Start by exclaiming things. Whether it's \\\"Hell yeah!\\\" or \\\"jolly good,\\\" or \\\"Well sit me down and call me Sally!\\\" is up to you. The more you react and with pizzazz, the more people will be fooled.\\nImagine your friend Ted walks into the room. You two make eye contact, give each other a nod, and you say, \\\"Sup.\\\" Not even in question form. Just \\\"sup.\\\" He responds with, \\\"Yo.\\\" Greeting exchanged. Now imagine Ted walks into the room and you say, \\\"HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!\\\" and then you run around to room, arms flailing like the T-Rex you've always wanted to be. Who's enthusiastic now, huh?\\n3-2. Move around.\\nSo an integral part of \\\"HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!\\\" was the running around bit. You can't really sit back in your armchair, eyebrows unmoving, glued to the Discovery channel and exclaim those words with the same effect (well, you could...). So the next time you find yourself thinking, \\\"It would be appropriate to be excited right now,\\\" do something with yourself. Jump up and down. Wave your arms like a madman (don't do this in public). Hi-five your grandma (especially if she's the one who wants you to be more energetic). Make a choice and commit to it.\\nYou could do a happy dance. You could make a finger gun and pretend you're the Fonz. You could point your thumbs at yourself and talk about how awesome you are. Why don't you try them all out and see what reactions you get?\\n3-3. Get theatrical.\\nWhen you're thinking \\\"enthusiasm...enthusiasm,\\\" instead try thinking, \\\"bigger.\\\" How can you make everything you're doing bigger? Try remembering this: you're not in a movie. There is no camera. You're on a stage where you have to show 1500 people in the 4th balcony that's practically a half mile away of what you're feeling, thinking, and doing. How might your behavior get grander?\\nThe next time your roommate walks in and says, \\\"Hey, roomie. I just made cupcakes!\\\" you're not going to respond with, \\\"Oh, awesome, thanks. I love cupcakes.\\\" No, no, no. You're going to punch the air John Bender Breakfast Club style, get on both knees and exclaim, \\\"My cupcake queen, how can I repay thee?\\\" and then run to the kitchen and shove a cupcake in your face. You're truly taking one for the team. Go you.\\n3-4. Use your face.\\nAll of this advice just won't jive with those around you if your face doesn't match your words, tone, or body. When Ted walks in the room, smile. Widen your eyes. When roommate #2 informs you she's made you cupcakes, drop your jaw in gratitude. Whenever you're faking an emotion (you can be enthusiastically negative, by the way), make sure you're covering all your bases.\\nYou know exactly how to do this. You've seen people before and what facial expressions go with what emotion. The only thing you have to change is to make it bigger, making sure it registers with people. You gotta make sure your enthusiasm is heard and seen.\\n3-5. Go for volume.\\nSo about that \\\"heard\\\" part. It's not so much that loudness equates with enthusiasm, it's just that quietness usually equates with a lack of enthusiasm. So when you're telling Ted how happy you are to see him, don't do it in a whisper. When you're overjoyed about cupcakes, put your lungs to work. There's no need to scream, but your enthusiasm should be a bit unconstrained, if you will. Take whatever's normal for you and bump 'er up a notch.\\nThink of what a teenage girl does when she sees Robert Pattinson or Justin Bieber. She screams and gets all flitty. Don't do that. But do make a note. When enthusiasm needs to be displayed, channel your inner Team Edward (but feel free to keep it at a dull roar). If nothing else, do it satirically. Only you need to know that you're poking fun at those around you. Why do they demand enthusiasm anyway?\\n4. Staying Enthusiastic\\n4-1. Ask questions.\\nA simple way to seem enthusiastic is to ask questions. It shows you're interested and engaged in the moment. And then what happens when you ask questions? People respond and they might say something that actually sparks your interest, if it didn't before. So make the first step! Ask questions, get the ball rolling, and see how it grows from there.\\nIt's easy to write off a topic/thing/person as uninteresting, judging a book by its cover, if you will. Resist! If you're tempted, make it a point to pry a bit further. You may find that lifting the veil sparks your curiosity. And that curiosity may lead you to finding something worth being enthusiastic about!\\n4-2. Laugh\\nOne of the simplest ways to get happy is to start laughing. Start laughing and being happy and enthusiasm will follow. It can naturally put you in a better mood and get the creativity and positivity flowing.\\n4-3. Get awe-ful.\\nAfter a certain amount of time in an environment, the novelty of it all goes away. You quit noticing what once stopped you dead in your tracks with its beauty. You stop asking questions and wondering. You stop feeling awestruck. When that happens, enthusiasm escapes like grains of sand through your fingers. All of a sudden life is drab and unremarkable. Don't let that happen.\\nSimple things like the beauty of a sunset can bring enthusiasm back. The architecture of your favorite local building. Heck, a group of children building snowmen. When you stop and smell the roses, you just might stop and find what'll keep you going -- what can be downright inspiring.\\n4-4. Try new things.\\nA simple way to start getting awestruck again is to try to new things. Life can get boring doing the same ol', same ol' -- so mix it up! It's impossible to maintain enthusiasm about something you've been doing year in and year out. And it's ridiculous to expect yourself to be enthusiastic if you don't have an exciting routine!\\nEven the smallest of change-ups can do wonders. Have you been running 3 miles (4.8 km) a day for the past six months? Find a new trail! Start cooking at home. Pick up a hobby. Go thrift shopping. Explore the tourist attractions in your area. It doesn't have to be big; it just has to be different.\\n4-5. Keep learning.\\nImagine a relationship with a person that you've known your entire life. It probably starts getting a little boring when you stop learning about that person, when you know everything there is to know. The same goes for life! If you quit learning, you'll run out of reasons to get inspired. So do more thorough research, seek out experts, tap into your network. Whatever it is you want to do, dig in deeper.\\nIt doesn't have to be book learning. You can learn from those around you, you can learn from yourself, heck, you can learn from wikiHow. Just keep seeking knowledge -- the more you know, the more interesting things become. Life included!\\nWarnings\\nSudden zest for life may cause feelings of elation, dizziness and heart palpitations. It may also cause more people to actually enjoy your company.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being super low energy can be such a downer -- a downer at home, a downer in the workplace, a downer in our own heads. Not only do others enjoy enthusiastic people, but we enjoy ourselves more when we're full of passion, inspiration, and drive. What's the key to getting excited over the little things? Let's explore.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Your Head Right\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find yourself\", \"描述\": \"It's pretty hard to be enthusiastic about life when you're living someone else's. Not being yourself is just so draining; no wonder it's hard to muster up enthusiasm. In order to channel that gusto, you gotta be yourself first and foremost. Pretending to be something you're not takes up all your resources you could be using on doing what you actually enjoy and could get excited about.\\nA lot of us try super hard to fit into a mold that society has deemed correct. Boo. We're not going to enjoy the things our friends enjoy, we're not going to get fulfillment out of the things that fulfill others. So don't waste your time! It's only when you're naturally you that you can find what drives you and grab a firm hold. Then you can work on being enthusiastic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Figure out why you're lacking enthusiasm.\", \"描述\": \"You're on this page for a reason. Most likely someone around you is giving you crap about your lack of energy. Very few people look objectively at themselves and say, \\\"Hmm. I wonder why I'm not peppier.\\\" But whatever your reason, you probably have an inkling as to why. Is it your job? Your love life? Or is it more of a universal, 24/7 thing that's dragging you down?\\nIt's natural to get stuck in a rut. These things happen. They also end at some point. But then there's clinical depression and that's a whole other can of worms. If it's something you've never thought about, think about it now. Is it a lack of enthusiasm or is it a bigger issue? What's your gut tell you?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start thinking positively.\", \"描述\": \"If someone handed you a math test and said, \\\"Here's the exam. It's stuff you didn't even dream of touching in college. Good luck, kid,\\\" how might that feel? Pretty daunting, probably. If instead they said, \\\"Here's the exam -- it's gonna be tough, but it's doable,\\\" what would you think then? You'd be a lot more motivated and feel a lot better about taking that exam! The same goes for enthusiasm; you're not gonna get excited about something if it's terrible!\\nThink about it. How easy is it to be excited about something that's doable and that you know you're capable of achieving? It's a lot harder to get enthusiastic about things that we straight up don't think will ever materialize. And what's often the difference? Our way of thinking. Sometimes, that's literally the only obstacle.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Define your goals and how you'll achieve them.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you're at least trying to think positive, what are the goals that you'd like to achieve? How would you go about achieving them? What do you want to be enthusiastic about? It's hard to be enthusiastic when we're floundering about life without purpose.\\nKnowing exactly what you want to do and exactly how you want to go about it is giving you something to be enthusiastic about. If you want to get skinny, it's hard to be enthusiastic about wanting to get skinny. But if you're working out 30 minutes a week and eating tons of veggies, that's direct behavior to get excited about.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Convince yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It's all well and good to have goals, but you gotta actually believe that you can achieve them. If your goal is too lofty, bring it down a notch. Bring it down a notch until you can readily believe that it's something you can make happen. If it's realistic, the only thing stopping you is you.\\nHaving a goal of becoming the King or Queen of England would be pretty damn hard to get excited about. Make sure your goals are feasible -- if in doubt, just start on a slightly smaller scale. Want to start your own business but don't know thing one about it? Make goals of taking business courses and networking. Smaller things that are totally doable and totally useful.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get over your fear of disappointment/making the wrong decision/looking silly.\", \"描述\": \"Often when we're not enthusiastic, it's because we've made up some excuse as to why not to be. We don't want to be enthusiastic because we don't want to get our hopes up, we're not enthusiastic because we're too unsure to be enthusiastic, or we're not enthusiastic because we're worried others will judge us. These are all crap reasons! Your enthusiasm should be undaunted and unaffected by others or by insecurities. What's stopping you?\\nRealize that your desire to be enthusiastic is there -- it's just buried under a pile of worry and fear. When we grow up, often adults call that \\\"reason.\\\" It's very much so a learned thing. We had it when we were children; it's time to get it back!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Motivation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find what you really enjoy and do it all the time.\", \"描述\": \"It's no way to live life unhappy. Working a pointless job, drinking away the weekends, surrounding ourselves with meaningless relationships -- it all can get quite bleak. It's no wonder being enthusiastic is a struggle when we're behind a screen 8 hours a day, eating junk and lamenting our current circumstances. However you can, find something you enjoy and stick with it. Do it as much as you can. Give your life that spark it needs to generate enthusiasm.\\nIt does not matter what it is. Whether it's building model airplanes, cooking, karate, or German karaoke, do it. Make time for it. Rearrange your schedule. Sacrifice other obligations. Make it a part of your routine. If it gives you drive and ignites a fire within you, latch onto it and latch onto it good. The enthusiasm will flow from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep good company.\", \"描述\": \"Ever been in a room full of naysayers, raggin' on the government, current trends, all their coworkers and acquaintances? It sucks and it's super contagious. Before you know it, you're hating on everything, too. Don't do it! These people take what little enthusiasm can be mustered and pulverize it into oblivion. If you want to work on your positivity and enthusiasm, these people need to play a much smaller role in your life.\\nThe first step is to end your toxic friendships. If you get about 5 seconds to think about it, you'll probably have a good idea of who this means. Once the negativity is expunged, think up of three people that truly make you feel downright good. When you have free time, they should be the people you go to. They can be enthusiasm role models to boot!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get healthy.\", \"描述\": \"You know how people say if you eat junk food, you'll feel crappy all day? Well, it's true. And it's a lot harder to feel mentally in the zone when you're not physically in it, either. So eat healthy! Your enthusiasm is worth it, right?\\nHere's another example: have you ever been laying in bed all day, wondering why you're so exhausted? And then you realize it's because you haven't done a damn thing all day. Getting up and exercising would make you that much more energized. So start exercising! That endorphin rush will be step one to feeling the inspiration flow through your views.\\n\\nGet a good night's sleep! It's so hard to be enthusiastic when we're tired. In fact, we're pretty much the opposite of enthusiastic when we're exhausted. If you haven't been sleeping lately, that could be a cause of your lack of energy. So rest up!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a list of things you're grateful for.\", \"描述\": \"You know that positive thinking is imperative to being enthusiastic, but finding the motivation for that positivity can be tough. To lessen the burden, make a list of things you're grateful for. Seeing a concrete list of everything you have going for will make it hard to deny why you should be enthusiastic.\\nDon't give up after 5 minutes. Sometimes it's hard to think of things we're grateful for because we have them. We have them 24/7, so their awesomeness goes away. Your legs. Remember those? Those are awesome. Aren't you glad you have them?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Act enthusiastic.\", \"描述\": \"You know that ol' saying \\\"practice makes perfect?\\\" Well, it's crap. But practice does make habit. Act enthusiastic for long enough and eventually it'll be your go-to emotion. It'll take some time, but it's definitely doable. So don that enthusiastic hat of yours and start faking it!\\nYeah, it's gonna suck for a bit. It's gonna feel like you're being a phony. Smiling and laughing and saying things like, \\\"Oooh, yeah!\\\" are going to feel foreign. If nothing else, start saying them sardonically. Be chipper to poke fun at the anti-chipperness of your personality. Find an excuse to fake it until you're not faking it any longer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Projecting Enthusiasm\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exclaim things.\", \"描述\": \"Alright, so maybe you're not really in the mood to put in tons of effort. But you are of the practice makes habit sort of mind, so how can you fake it? Start by exclaiming things. Whether it's \\\"Hell yeah!\\\" or \\\"jolly good,\\\" or \\\"Well sit me down and call me Sally!\\\" is up to you. The more you react and with pizzazz, the more people will be fooled.\\nImagine your friend Ted walks into the room. You two make eye contact, give each other a nod, and you say, \\\"Sup.\\\" Not even in question form. Just \\\"sup.\\\" He responds with, \\\"Yo.\\\" Greeting exchanged. Now imagine Ted walks into the room and you say, \\\"HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!\\\" and then you run around to room, arms flailing like the T-Rex you've always wanted to be. Who's enthusiastic now, huh?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Move around.\", \"描述\": \"So an integral part of \\\"HEY, TED! OHMIGOSH I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!\\\" was the running around bit. You can't really sit back in your armchair, eyebrows unmoving, glued to the Discovery channel and exclaim those words with the same effect (well, you could...). So the next time you find yourself thinking, \\\"It would be appropriate to be excited right now,\\\" do something with yourself. Jump up and down. Wave your arms like a madman (don't do this in public). Hi-five your grandma (especially if she's the one who wants you to be more energetic). Make a choice and commit to it.\\nYou could do a happy dance. You could make a finger gun and pretend you're the Fonz. You could point your thumbs at yourself and talk about how awesome you are. Why don't you try them all out and see what reactions you get?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get theatrical.\", \"描述\": \"When you're thinking \\\"enthusiasm...enthusiasm,\\\" instead try thinking, \\\"bigger.\\\" How can you make everything you're doing bigger? Try remembering this: you're not in a movie. There is no camera. You're on a stage where you have to show 1500 people in the 4th balcony that's practically a half mile away of what you're feeling, thinking, and doing. How might your behavior get grander?\\nThe next time your roommate walks in and says, \\\"Hey, roomie. I just made cupcakes!\\\" you're not going to respond with, \\\"Oh, awesome, thanks. I love cupcakes.\\\" No, no, no. You're going to punch the air John Bender Breakfast Club style, get on both knees and exclaim, \\\"My cupcake queen, how can I repay thee?\\\" and then run to the kitchen and shove a cupcake in your face. You're truly taking one for the team. Go you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use your face.\", \"描述\": \"All of this advice just won't jive with those around you if your face doesn't match your words, tone, or body. When Ted walks in the room, smile. Widen your eyes. When roommate #2 informs you she's made you cupcakes, drop your jaw in gratitude. Whenever you're faking an emotion (you can be enthusiastically negative, by the way), make sure you're covering all your bases.\\nYou know exactly how to do this. You've seen people before and what facial expressions go with what emotion. The only thing you have to change is to make it bigger, making sure it registers with people. You gotta make sure your enthusiasm is heard and seen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go for volume.\", \"描述\": \"So about that \\\"heard\\\" part. It's not so much that loudness equates with enthusiasm, it's just that quietness usually equates with a lack of enthusiasm. So when you're telling Ted how happy you are to see him, don't do it in a whisper. When you're overjoyed about cupcakes, put your lungs to work. There's no need to scream, but your enthusiasm should be a bit unconstrained, if you will. Take whatever's normal for you and bump 'er up a notch.\\nThink of what a teenage girl does when she sees Robert Pattinson or Justin Bieber. She screams and gets all flitty. Don't do that. But do make a note. When enthusiasm needs to be displayed, channel your inner Team Edward (but feel free to keep it at a dull roar). If nothing else, do it satirically. Only you need to know that you're poking fun at those around you. Why do they demand enthusiasm anyway?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Staying Enthusiastic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"A simple way to seem enthusiastic is to ask questions. It shows you're interested and engaged in the moment. And then what happens when you ask questions? People respond and they might say something that actually sparks your interest, if it didn't before. So make the first step! Ask questions, get the ball rolling, and see how it grows from there.\\nIt's easy to write off a topic/thing/person as uninteresting, judging a book by its cover, if you will. Resist! If you're tempted, make it a point to pry a bit further. You may find that lifting the veil sparks your curiosity. And that curiosity may lead you to finding something worth being enthusiastic about!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Laugh\", \"描述\": \"One of the simplest ways to get happy is to start laughing. Start laughing and being happy and enthusiasm will follow. It can naturally put you in a better mood and get the creativity and positivity flowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get awe-ful.\", \"描述\": \"After a certain amount of time in an environment, the novelty of it all goes away. You quit noticing what once stopped you dead in your tracks with its beauty. You stop asking questions and wondering. You stop feeling awestruck. When that happens, enthusiasm escapes like grains of sand through your fingers. All of a sudden life is drab and unremarkable. Don't let that happen.\\nSimple things like the beauty of a sunset can bring enthusiasm back. The architecture of your favorite local building. Heck, a group of children building snowmen. When you stop and smell the roses, you just might stop and find what'll keep you going -- what can be downright inspiring.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try new things.\", \"描述\": \"A simple way to start getting awestruck again is to try to new things. Life can get boring doing the same ol', same ol' -- so mix it up! It's impossible to maintain enthusiasm about something you've been doing year in and year out. And it's ridiculous to expect yourself to be enthusiastic if you don't have an exciting routine!\\nEven the smallest of change-ups can do wonders. Have you been running 3 miles (4.8 km) a day for the past six months? Find a new trail! Start cooking at home. Pick up a hobby. Go thrift shopping. Explore the tourist attractions in your area. It doesn't have to be big; it just has to be different.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep learning.\", \"描述\": \"Imagine a relationship with a person that you've known your entire life. It probably starts getting a little boring when you stop learning about that person, when you know everything there is to know. The same goes for life! If you quit learning, you'll run out of reasons to get inspired. So do more thorough research, seek out experts, tap into your network. Whatever it is you want to do, dig in deeper.\\nIt doesn't have to be book learning. You can learn from those around you, you can learn from yourself, heck, you can learn from wikiHow. Just keep seeking knowledge -- the more you know, the more interesting things become. Life included!\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Sudden zest for life may cause feelings of elation, dizziness and heart palpitations. It may also cause more people to actually enjoy your company.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,945 | How to Be More Independent As a Teen Girl | 1. Learning Practical Life Skills
1-1. Learn to get around by yourself.
Today's teens are less interested in driving than previous generations were, so getting your driver's license might not be a top priority for you now. But you'll still need to find means of getting around when you need to run errands or go to work. You won't feel strong and independent if you are relying on your parents to drive you everywhere.
Bicycling is becoming an increasingly popular mode of transportation. Many towns are adding bike lanes on public streets to make cycling safer.
If your town has public transportation, learn how to get around safely by train or bus. Public transportation is also good for the environment, because there are fewer cars on the road.
If possible, learn to drive even if you don't plan to buy a car – it is a valuable life skill to have in case of an emergency.
1-2. Learn to cook.
You may have heard of the “Freshman 15,” the fifteen pounds many students gain their first year of college because they eat nothing but junk food. You won't need to worry about this if you learn how to cook tasty, healthy meals for yourself now.
1-3. Take on more responsibility around the house.
You will need to know how to take care of yourself when you leave home for work or college, and the best time to learn these skills is now. Ask your parents if there is anything they would like help with, and offer to pitch in. They will be very impressed that you volunteered to help without being asked, which will go a long way to proving how responsible you are.
1-4. Improve your social skills.
The ability to interact with others and form healthy relationships is crucial to becoming a well-adjusted, independent teen girl. Healthy social interaction improves your self-confidence, teaches you how to work as a team and settle disputes, and may even improve your cognitive abilities.
Taking a theater class is a great way to overcome shyness and feel more confident in all areas of your life.
Getting involved with volunteer work will help make you a kinder and better person, and will help you relate better to people in general.
1-5. Date responsibly.
Most parents base the age they allow their daughters to date on her level of maturity. Your parents need to trust you to recognize dangerous situations, and to come to them for help if needed. If your parents have given you permission to date, understand that they are trusting you with a huge amount of responsibility.
Don't let dating interfere with your schoolwork. A good boyfriend or girlfriend will be supportive, and won't drag you down or distract you from your goals with needless drama.
Always follow curfew times and any other rules your parents impose. If your parents are constantly worried about where you are, they will limit your independence with stricter rules.
Keep the lines of communication open with your parents. Introduce them to your friends and dates, so they will know that you are hanging out with good people.
Avoid dangerous situations and unstable people. In the US, it is estimated that 25% of teen girls have been abused, physically or emotionally, by someone they were dating.
1-6. Practice good housekeeping.
Unless you are independently wealthy, you'll need to do your own housekeeping when you have your own apartment, so you might as well learn to do these things for yourself now. Although housekeeping may appear simple, there are actually a lot of little things you'll need to learn.
When doing laundry, don't put bright colors or new jeans in with light-colored clothing, because the dyes can run and ruin the entire load.
Always start dusting on the top shelf, and work your way down. And always dust before vacuuming, or you'll just be knocking dust all over your clean floor.
As an added bonus, your parents may even increase your allowance in exchange for doing additional chores – but that shouldn't be your only incentive to help out.
2. Taking Your Education and Career Plans Seriously
2-1. Get good grades.
If you and your parents are happy with your grades, keep up the good work! If you feel your grades need improvement, make it known that you are working to improve them. Your parents will be far more likely to grant you more independence if they aren't worried about your school performance.
Try to stay positive; feeling discouraged and defeated will only interfere with your progress.
Ask your teachers for help as soon as you notice you are falling behind. Don't wait until you are so far behind that you are struggling, or it will be harder to catch up.
Ask your parents if they would be willing to hire a local college student to help you with your most challenging subject.
Bring a digital pen to class. Smart pens transfer your notes to digital form while you write, and record lectures so you can listen to them later at home.
2-2. Travel whenever possible.
Travel is an excellent way to experiment with independence. Check with your guidance counselor to see what opportunities are available through your school, or research commercial options online.
Clubs and teams often travel together as a group. The debate team usually travels out of state for tournaments, and sports teams travel for state finals.
If your school or club organizes a trip for a charity organization, they will invite the students who have some experience with volunteer work.
Studying abroad as an exchange student is a wonderful way to establish your independence. With a good GPA and well-rounded transcript, you may qualify for a scholarship to help cover the costs.
Consider a language-immersion program through an organization like API. You'll be living in another country while you study the native language.
2-3. Research schools and career paths that interest you.
Learn all you can about jobs that you might enjoy, and what skills and education they require. Research schools you would like to attend, and what you need to do to earn scholarships and grants. Your parents will be more willing to give you more freedom if they know that you are thinking about the future.
Don't avoid making a decision because you worry that you will limit yourself. You will be free to make changes to your plans later, as you encounter new opportunities.
Discuss career options with your parents. Be honest with them, and speak to them as an adult.
Visualize your future. Imagine yourself having a certain type of job, or studying a particular subject, and see if it feels right for you. Studies show that visualization helps to achieve goals.
2-4. Monitor your social media presence.
As tempting as it is to post things impulsively, try to be careful about what you post to the internet. A good online reputation is a definite asset. As you gain more freedom and independence as a teen, be careful that your current actions don't negatively affect your future.
Prospective employers will almost certainly research your social media presence and take that into account when deciding whether to hire you.
The more competitive schools may want to see your social media accounts, as well. Even if you don't think anyone will directly check your accounts, it's better to play it safe.
Anything you post to the internet is out there forever, and you may not even be aware that it's visible to the public. Consider googling yourself, and do a little damage control if necessary.
3. Managing Work and Money
3-1. Earn your own money.
Instead of relying on your allowance, find ways to earn your own money. This will show your parents that you are willing to take on responsibility. If you are having difficulty finding a traditional job without having work experience, there are plenty of other ways a teenager can make money.
Digitize people's paper photographs, or old home videos. Your parents' friends might not have the time to do this themselves, but they might be willing to pay you to do it for them.
Mow lawns or do yard work. This is one of the traditional ways for a teen to earn money, and it can pay pretty well if you are the outdoorsy sort.
Make your own jewelry and sell it on Etsy. You could also ask local clothing shops if they would be willing to sell your creations for a percentage of the profits.
If you excel at a particular school subject, offer to tutor younger students.
Offer coaching or lessons in anything you are good at, such as weightlifting or playing the guitar.
Work as a mother's helper, helping busy parents with housekeeping and childcare.
3-2. Learn about personal banking.
Part of being an independent teen is learning to manage your own money, but it is also a big responsibility. Having your own accounts will save you money on check-cashing fees and other high-cost financial services. However, you will need to understand a few basic concepts before opening an account.
Open a savings account, and don't touch it. The earlier you begin saving, the less money per day you will need to save in order to save the same amount.
Some banks offer special checking accounts for teens, with reduced fees and no minimum required balance.
Keep track of the balances in your accounts by regularly checking them online.
Memorize your bankcard PIN and online passwords, and never share them with anyone.
When you purchase something with a debit card, think of it as cash to avoid overspending.
3-3. Create a budget.
The best way to learn how to manage money is to devise a budget and stick to it. Knowing how much money you have and understanding where you spend it is the first step toward achieving financial independence.
Always try to put a percentage of your money into savings, before you do anything else.
Plan ahead for large expenses like gadgets or trips – know the amount you'll need and when you will need it, so you'll know how much you should be putting aside for it every week.
Keep a spending diary. Keep track of every penny you spend, and what you're spending it on. Doing this will show you where you could cut back, so you will be able to save more.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:20",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning Practical Life Skills\\n1-1. Learn to get around by yourself.\\nToday's teens are less interested in driving than previous generations were, so getting your driver's license might not be a top priority for you now. But you'll still need to find means of getting around when you need to run errands or go to work. You won't feel strong and independent if you are relying on your parents to drive you everywhere.\\nBicycling is becoming an increasingly popular mode of transportation. Many towns are adding bike lanes on public streets to make cycling safer.\\nIf your town has public transportation, learn how to get around safely by train or bus. Public transportation is also good for the environment, because there are fewer cars on the road.\\nIf possible, learn to drive even if you don't plan to buy a car – it is a valuable life skill to have in case of an emergency.\\n1-2. Learn to cook.\\nYou may have heard of the “Freshman 15,” the fifteen pounds many students gain their first year of college because they eat nothing but junk food. You won't need to worry about this if you learn how to cook tasty, healthy meals for yourself now.\\n1-3. Take on more responsibility around the house.\\nYou will need to know how to take care of yourself when you leave home for work or college, and the best time to learn these skills is now. Ask your parents if there is anything they would like help with, and offer to pitch in. They will be very impressed that you volunteered to help without being asked, which will go a long way to proving how responsible you are.\\n1-4. Improve your social skills.\\nThe ability to interact with others and form healthy relationships is crucial to becoming a well-adjusted, independent teen girl. Healthy social interaction improves your self-confidence, teaches you how to work as a team and settle disputes, and may even improve your cognitive abilities.\\nTaking a theater class is a great way to overcome shyness and feel more confident in all areas of your life.\\nGetting involved with volunteer work will help make you a kinder and better person, and will help you relate better to people in general.\\n1-5. Date responsibly.\\nMost parents base the age they allow their daughters to date on her level of maturity. Your parents need to trust you to recognize dangerous situations, and to come to them for help if needed. If your parents have given you permission to date, understand that they are trusting you with a huge amount of responsibility.\\nDon't let dating interfere with your schoolwork. A good boyfriend or girlfriend will be supportive, and won't drag you down or distract you from your goals with needless drama.\\nAlways follow curfew times and any other rules your parents impose. If your parents are constantly worried about where you are, they will limit your independence with stricter rules.\\nKeep the lines of communication open with your parents. Introduce them to your friends and dates, so they will know that you are hanging out with good people.\\nAvoid dangerous situations and unstable people. In the US, it is estimated that 25% of teen girls have been abused, physically or emotionally, by someone they were dating.\\n1-6. Practice good housekeeping.\\nUnless you are independently wealthy, you'll need to do your own housekeeping when you have your own apartment, so you might as well learn to do these things for yourself now. Although housekeeping may appear simple, there are actually a lot of little things you'll need to learn.\\nWhen doing laundry, don't put bright colors or new jeans in with light-colored clothing, because the dyes can run and ruin the entire load.\\nAlways start dusting on the top shelf, and work your way down. And always dust before vacuuming, or you'll just be knocking dust all over your clean floor.\\nAs an added bonus, your parents may even increase your allowance in exchange for doing additional chores – but that shouldn't be your only incentive to help out.\\n2. Taking Your Education and Career Plans Seriously\\n2-1. Get good grades.\\nIf you and your parents are happy with your grades, keep up the good work! If you feel your grades need improvement, make it known that you are working to improve them. Your parents will be far more likely to grant you more independence if they aren't worried about your school performance.\\nTry to stay positive; feeling discouraged and defeated will only interfere with your progress.\\nAsk your teachers for help as soon as you notice you are falling behind. Don't wait until you are so far behind that you are struggling, or it will be harder to catch up. \\nAsk your parents if they would be willing to hire a local college student to help you with your most challenging subject.\\nBring a digital pen to class. Smart pens transfer your notes to digital form while you write, and record lectures so you can listen to them later at home.\\n2-2. Travel whenever possible.\\nTravel is an excellent way to experiment with independence. Check with your guidance counselor to see what opportunities are available through your school, or research commercial options online.\\nClubs and teams often travel together as a group. The debate team usually travels out of state for tournaments, and sports teams travel for state finals.\\nIf your school or club organizes a trip for a charity organization, they will invite the students who have some experience with volunteer work.\\nStudying abroad as an exchange student is a wonderful way to establish your independence. With a good GPA and well-rounded transcript, you may qualify for a scholarship to help cover the costs.\\nConsider a language-immersion program through an organization like API. You'll be living in another country while you study the native language.\\n2-3. Research schools and career paths that interest you.\\nLearn all you can about jobs that you might enjoy, and what skills and education they require. Research schools you would like to attend, and what you need to do to earn scholarships and grants. Your parents will be more willing to give you more freedom if they know that you are thinking about the future.\\nDon't avoid making a decision because you worry that you will limit yourself. You will be free to make changes to your plans later, as you encounter new opportunities.\\nDiscuss career options with your parents. Be honest with them, and speak to them as an adult.\\nVisualize your future. Imagine yourself having a certain type of job, or studying a particular subject, and see if it feels right for you. Studies show that visualization helps to achieve goals.\\n2-4. Monitor your social media presence.\\nAs tempting as it is to post things impulsively, try to be careful about what you post to the internet. A good online reputation is a definite asset. As you gain more freedom and independence as a teen, be careful that your current actions don't negatively affect your future.\\nProspective employers will almost certainly research your social media presence and take that into account when deciding whether to hire you.\\nThe more competitive schools may want to see your social media accounts, as well. Even if you don't think anyone will directly check your accounts, it's better to play it safe.\\nAnything you post to the internet is out there forever, and you may not even be aware that it's visible to the public. Consider googling yourself, and do a little damage control if necessary.\\n3. Managing Work and Money\\n3-1. Earn your own money.\\nInstead of relying on your allowance, find ways to earn your own money. This will show your parents that you are willing to take on responsibility. If you are having difficulty finding a traditional job without having work experience, there are plenty of other ways a teenager can make money.\\nDigitize people's paper photographs, or old home videos. Your parents' friends might not have the time to do this themselves, but they might be willing to pay you to do it for them.\\nMow lawns or do yard work. This is one of the traditional ways for a teen to earn money, and it can pay pretty well if you are the outdoorsy sort.\\nMake your own jewelry and sell it on Etsy. You could also ask local clothing shops if they would be willing to sell your creations for a percentage of the profits.\\nIf you excel at a particular school subject, offer to tutor younger students.\\nOffer coaching or lessons in anything you are good at, such as weightlifting or playing the guitar.\\nWork as a mother's helper, helping busy parents with housekeeping and childcare.\\n3-2. Learn about personal banking.\\nPart of being an independent teen is learning to manage your own money, but it is also a big responsibility. Having your own accounts will save you money on check-cashing fees and other high-cost financial services. However, you will need to understand a few basic concepts before opening an account.\\nOpen a savings account, and don't touch it. The earlier you begin saving, the less money per day you will need to save in order to save the same amount.\\nSome banks offer special checking accounts for teens, with reduced fees and no minimum required balance.\\nKeep track of the balances in your accounts by regularly checking them online.\\nMemorize your bankcard PIN and online passwords, and never share them with anyone.\\nWhen you purchase something with a debit card, think of it as cash to avoid overspending.\\n3-3. Create a budget.\\nThe best way to learn how to manage money is to devise a budget and stick to it. Knowing how much money you have and understanding where you spend it is the first step toward achieving financial independence.\\nAlways try to put a percentage of your money into savings, before you do anything else.\\nPlan ahead for large expenses like gadgets or trips – know the amount you'll need and when you will need it, so you'll know how much you should be putting aside for it every week.\\nKeep a spending diary. Keep track of every penny you spend, and what you're spending it on. Doing this will show you where you could cut back, so you will be able to save more.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Becoming more independent as a teen feels amazing—you get to make more of your own choices, decide who you really want to be, and learn how to rely on yourself. But how do you become more independent, especially when you’re still living at home and dealing with school? Don’t worry—it’s totally possible! This article will walk you through some easy steps you can take to start living more independently as a teen.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning Practical Life Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to get around by yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Today's teens are less interested in driving than previous generations were, so getting your driver's license might not be a top priority for you now. But you'll still need to find means of getting around when you need to run errands or go to work. You won't feel strong and independent if you are relying on your parents to drive you everywhere.\\nBicycling is becoming an increasingly popular mode of transportation. Many towns are adding bike lanes on public streets to make cycling safer.\\nIf your town has public transportation, learn how to get around safely by train or bus. Public transportation is also good for the environment, because there are fewer cars on the road.\\nIf possible, learn to drive even if you don't plan to buy a car – it is a valuable life skill to have in case of an emergency.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to cook.\", \"描述\": \"You may have heard of the “Freshman 15,” the fifteen pounds many students gain their first year of college because they eat nothing but junk food. You won't need to worry about this if you learn how to cook tasty, healthy meals for yourself now.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take on more responsibility around the house.\", \"描述\": \"You will need to know how to take care of yourself when you leave home for work or college, and the best time to learn these skills is now. Ask your parents if there is anything they would like help with, and offer to pitch in. They will be very impressed that you volunteered to help without being asked, which will go a long way to proving how responsible you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Improve your social skills.\", \"描述\": \"The ability to interact with others and form healthy relationships is crucial to becoming a well-adjusted, independent teen girl. Healthy social interaction improves your self-confidence, teaches you how to work as a team and settle disputes, and may even improve your cognitive abilities.\\nTaking a theater class is a great way to overcome shyness and feel more confident in all areas of your life.\\nGetting involved with volunteer work will help make you a kinder and better person, and will help you relate better to people in general.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Date responsibly.\", \"描述\": \"Most parents base the age they allow their daughters to date on her level of maturity. Your parents need to trust you to recognize dangerous situations, and to come to them for help if needed. If your parents have given you permission to date, understand that they are trusting you with a huge amount of responsibility.\\nDon't let dating interfere with your schoolwork. A good boyfriend or girlfriend will be supportive, and won't drag you down or distract you from your goals with needless drama.\\nAlways follow curfew times and any other rules your parents impose. If your parents are constantly worried about where you are, they will limit your independence with stricter rules.\\nKeep the lines of communication open with your parents. Introduce them to your friends and dates, so they will know that you are hanging out with good people.\\nAvoid dangerous situations and unstable people. In the US, it is estimated that 25% of teen girls have been abused, physically or emotionally, by someone they were dating.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice good housekeeping.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you are independently wealthy, you'll need to do your own housekeeping when you have your own apartment, so you might as well learn to do these things for yourself now. Although housekeeping may appear simple, there are actually a lot of little things you'll need to learn.\\nWhen doing laundry, don't put bright colors or new jeans in with light-colored clothing, because the dyes can run and ruin the entire load.\\nAlways start dusting on the top shelf, and work your way down. And always dust before vacuuming, or you'll just be knocking dust all over your clean floor.\\nAs an added bonus, your parents may even increase your allowance in exchange for doing additional chores – but that shouldn't be your only incentive to help out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Your Education and Career Plans Seriously\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get good grades.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your parents are happy with your grades, keep up the good work! If you feel your grades need improvement, make it known that you are working to improve them. Your parents will be far more likely to grant you more independence if they aren't worried about your school performance.\\nTry to stay positive; feeling discouraged and defeated will only interfere with your progress.\\nAsk your teachers for help as soon as you notice you are falling behind. Don't wait until you are so far behind that you are struggling, or it will be harder to catch up. \\nAsk your parents if they would be willing to hire a local college student to help you with your most challenging subject.\\nBring a digital pen to class. Smart pens transfer your notes to digital form while you write, and record lectures so you can listen to them later at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Travel whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"Travel is an excellent way to experiment with independence. Check with your guidance counselor to see what opportunities are available through your school, or research commercial options online.\\nClubs and teams often travel together as a group. The debate team usually travels out of state for tournaments, and sports teams travel for state finals.\\nIf your school or club organizes a trip for a charity organization, they will invite the students who have some experience with volunteer work.\\nStudying abroad as an exchange student is a wonderful way to establish your independence. With a good GPA and well-rounded transcript, you may qualify for a scholarship to help cover the costs.\\nConsider a language-immersion program through an organization like API. You'll be living in another country while you study the native language.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Research schools and career paths that interest you.\", \"描述\": \"Learn all you can about jobs that you might enjoy, and what skills and education they require. Research schools you would like to attend, and what you need to do to earn scholarships and grants. Your parents will be more willing to give you more freedom if they know that you are thinking about the future.\\nDon't avoid making a decision because you worry that you will limit yourself. You will be free to make changes to your plans later, as you encounter new opportunities.\\nDiscuss career options with your parents. Be honest with them, and speak to them as an adult.\\nVisualize your future. Imagine yourself having a certain type of job, or studying a particular subject, and see if it feels right for you. Studies show that visualization helps to achieve goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Monitor your social media presence.\", \"描述\": \"As tempting as it is to post things impulsively, try to be careful about what you post to the internet. A good online reputation is a definite asset. As you gain more freedom and independence as a teen, be careful that your current actions don't negatively affect your future.\\nProspective employers will almost certainly research your social media presence and take that into account when deciding whether to hire you.\\nThe more competitive schools may want to see your social media accounts, as well. Even if you don't think anyone will directly check your accounts, it's better to play it safe.\\nAnything you post to the internet is out there forever, and you may not even be aware that it's visible to the public. Consider googling yourself, and do a little damage control if necessary.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Managing Work and Money\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Earn your own money.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of relying on your allowance, find ways to earn your own money. This will show your parents that you are willing to take on responsibility. If you are having difficulty finding a traditional job without having work experience, there are plenty of other ways a teenager can make money.\\nDigitize people's paper photographs, or old home videos. Your parents' friends might not have the time to do this themselves, but they might be willing to pay you to do it for them.\\nMow lawns or do yard work. This is one of the traditional ways for a teen to earn money, and it can pay pretty well if you are the outdoorsy sort.\\nMake your own jewelry and sell it on Etsy. You could also ask local clothing shops if they would be willing to sell your creations for a percentage of the profits.\\nIf you excel at a particular school subject, offer to tutor younger students.\\nOffer coaching or lessons in anything you are good at, such as weightlifting or playing the guitar.\\nWork as a mother's helper, helping busy parents with housekeeping and childcare.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn about personal banking.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being an independent teen is learning to manage your own money, but it is also a big responsibility. Having your own accounts will save you money on check-cashing fees and other high-cost financial services. However, you will need to understand a few basic concepts before opening an account.\\nOpen a savings account, and don't touch it. The earlier you begin saving, the less money per day you will need to save in order to save the same amount.\\nSome banks offer special checking accounts for teens, with reduced fees and no minimum required balance.\\nKeep track of the balances in your accounts by regularly checking them online.\\nMemorize your bankcard PIN and online passwords, and never share them with anyone.\\nWhen you purchase something with a debit card, think of it as cash to avoid overspending.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a budget.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to learn how to manage money is to devise a budget and stick to it. Knowing how much money you have and understanding where you spend it is the first step toward achieving financial independence.\\nAlways try to put a percentage of your money into savings, before you do anything else.\\nPlan ahead for large expenses like gadgets or trips – know the amount you'll need and when you will need it, so you'll know how much you should be putting aside for it every week.\\nKeep a spending diary. Keep track of every penny you spend, and what you're spending it on. Doing this will show you where you could cut back, so you will be able to save more.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,946 | How to Be More Interesting | 1. Being More Interesting For Yourself
1-1. Loosen up and be natural.
Relax. One reason why many people fail to become interesting and stimulating people is that they worry too much over the small things and don’t come across as natural. Their effort backfires on them, because they are just trying too hard. Try to stay relaxed and flexible. Take life one day at a time.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't stress out if a class you wanted to take on the weekend is suddenly cancelled, for example. Instead, re-frame your thoughts to look ahead. Rather than get bummed out and dwell, find out when there's another class or plan something else to do.
1-2. Be positive and optimistic.
Interesting people are happy people. This is one of the reasons why we find them so interesting; whether we admit it or not, we want to know how and why happy people are so happy. Moreover, no one really wants to be around a "Debbie Downer", a negative, unhappy person.
Look for the positives in your life and become practiced in seeing the glass “half full." Feeling down because you never have plans on a Friday night? Instead of getting depressed, think of what you could do with that time: join a games night cafe, start a knitting club, etc. Sometimes disadvantages can turn into opportunities!
1-3. Build an open personality.
Be available to the world and look for excitement instead of waiting for it to find you. Celebrate flexibility and a "just go with it" attitude.
Oftentimes people aren’t interesting because they are reserved. Many people feel that they need to hold back in order to protect themselves. Of course, to some extent, this is true, but you can also take this too far. By holding back too much, you're limiting your potential and in the process becoming less interesting. The more reserved you get, the more static your life.
1-4. Expand your comfort zone.
Being interesting means doing things you've never done before and being willing to share those experiences with other people. People who are boring and dull normally possess a very small comfort zone. So try to constantly expand your comfort zone and dare yourself to try new things; this is the quickest path to becoming more interesting.
The more out of the ordinary experiences you have, the more of an interesting person you will become. People often "live through" the experiences of others. One person may not be ready to go skydiving but will feel in awe that you have and want to know all about it!
Sign up for class about something you have never done before, like pottery or knitting, or participate in a sport you haven’t played before, like rugby.
Try things you might not be great at, such as public speaking or improv. Learn to master these skills.
Remember that the only way we can bring change and growth in our lives is by challenging the habits and behaviors we currently have. So push yourself to your limits and challenge yourself to improve and grow.
1-5. Fill up on knowledge.
Being more interesting isn't about sitting around, but about living a varied life. You want to become the kind of person who has new things they can introduce to everyone.
Read widely. Read books on different topics by a range of different types of writers. Listen to podcasts. Keep up-to-date on what's going on in the world. Form your own opinions about the complicated world in which you live.
Learn about your neighborhood. Seek out new places or revisit old haunts in your town. Make one weekend night a week a "going out" night where you explore the 'hood.
Seek out interesting people. The people you spend time with affect your behavior. The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death found that the groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. So, if you want to be interesting, you need to surround yourself with dynamic people!
1-6. Hop off the bandwagon.
If everyone else is doing it, you’re too late. Do your own thing, and others will follow. Plus, it's more fun to set the interesting trends than to simply follow them.
Be the leader of a crowd, not a follower. That shows you have confidence are someone worth knowing.
1-7. Embrace your innate uniqueness - and weirdness!
This is quite possibly the most important point about becoming more interesting. No one is the exact same as anyone else. Every individual is precisely that - an individual. Everyone has quirks and insights unique to themselves. Don’t hide these things; these are what make you interesting.
Don't underestimate how interesting certain quirky or intellectual aspects of you can be. You like reading history books? Embrace it, rather than see it as a nerdy pastime of interest to no one. You can impress people with your knowledge of some pretty esoteric topics.
Wear something crazy and fun. People might laugh but it will make you interesting. Don't be afraid to stand out.
Never feel as though you should have to change or hide who you are. Your quirks are what make you YOU. Becoming a more interesting person does not mean become someone else, but instead highlighting what it is about you specifically that is interesting.
2. Being More Interesting in Social Situations
2-1. Show up and talk.
The author of the book on being interesting, literally titled How to Be Interesting, has said that the first step to being interesting is to actually show up. Go to things, socialize, meet people.
You can show up basically as an observer of other interesting people and let that be a learning experience for you, or you can show up and be a little bit more of the life of the party. But the main thing is to show up. Consider this part of the exploration process.
If you're at a party, make a circuit of the room, or try something on the table you've never had before. Stepping out of your comfort zone like this instantly gives you something to talk about with another guest.
2-2. Be a good observer and a great listener.
Remember, being interesting doesn't mean that you left the biggest impression, or that you're the one telling the story that grabs everyone's attention. Rather, it means that you left a positive impression on the people you interacted with or had a good conversation with them, and they want to get to know you.
Most captivating people are often good listeners. Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship, and envy. People love to talk about themselves and all the while there is a dearth of good listeners. Let the other person talk.
2-3. Talk about another person's interests.
This is straight from Dale Carnegie's classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Ask people what they've been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You've become interesting simply by showing an interest. If you know about the topic, the similarity will bond you. If you don't, ask them to explain and listen as they talk about something they love.
2-4. Have good stories ready to go.
You should have at least three stories that reliably entertain, inform, and engage other people. Rehearse your "act" just like a comedian. Don't count on making up good "material" on the spot; comedians don't do this and neither should you.
Keep in mind that people are generally more interested in stories about other people, rather than things. Human beings are fascinated by their own behavior. Capitalize on this.
2-5. Learn to present what you have to say in an engaging manner.
Being interesting is as much about how you say something as what you have to say. Two people can tell the same story, but one person can do it in a droning, boring way and the other in a punchy, engaging bit. You want to be the latter.
Everyone has certain things about them that people tend to ask about over and over. Common topics include work, school, family, recent trips, etc. It helps to have mini-speeches and stories prepared for these topics. That way, if someone asks, you'll have something ready to go.
When you're speaking, words only account for 7 percent of what is conveyed. Voice tone and body language are far more important. Inject humor and personality into what you're saying. Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture.
Think about the most interesting person you know; chances are that this person had a manner of being that drew you to them - were they relaxed or confident or outgoing or enigmatic? Try to replicate this.
2-6. Develop an instinct.
Read other people. What you tell your parents about your recent trip to Europe will differ from what you tell new friends. If you notice people's attention wandering, try to switch it up, or ask a question.
2-7. Be brave.
Bravery is needed to have contrary opinions and take unexpected paths. You don't have to be like everyone else and you shouldn't want to be. If you’re not courageous, you’re going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the guy who actually is.
2-8. Have fun!
Play around. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:21",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being More Interesting For Yourself\\n1-1. Loosen up and be natural.\\nRelax. One reason why many people fail to become interesting and stimulating people is that they worry too much over the small things and don’t come across as natural. Their effort backfires on them, because they are just trying too hard. Try to stay relaxed and flexible. Take life one day at a time.\\nDon't sweat the small stuff. Don't stress out if a class you wanted to take on the weekend is suddenly cancelled, for example. Instead, re-frame your thoughts to look ahead. Rather than get bummed out and dwell, find out when there's another class or plan something else to do.\\n1-2. Be positive and optimistic.\\nInteresting people are happy people. This is one of the reasons why we find them so interesting; whether we admit it or not, we want to know how and why happy people are so happy. Moreover, no one really wants to be around a \\\"Debbie Downer\\\", a negative, unhappy person.\\nLook for the positives in your life and become practiced in seeing the glass “half full.\\\" Feeling down because you never have plans on a Friday night? Instead of getting depressed, think of what you could do with that time: join a games night cafe, start a knitting club, etc. Sometimes disadvantages can turn into opportunities!\\n1-3. Build an open personality.\\nBe available to the world and look for excitement instead of waiting for it to find you. Celebrate flexibility and a \\\"just go with it\\\" attitude.\\nOftentimes people aren’t interesting because they are reserved. Many people feel that they need to hold back in order to protect themselves. Of course, to some extent, this is true, but you can also take this too far. By holding back too much, you're limiting your potential and in the process becoming less interesting. The more reserved you get, the more static your life.\\n1-4. Expand your comfort zone.\\nBeing interesting means doing things you've never done before and being willing to share those experiences with other people. People who are boring and dull normally possess a very small comfort zone. So try to constantly expand your comfort zone and dare yourself to try new things; this is the quickest path to becoming more interesting.\\nThe more out of the ordinary experiences you have, the more of an interesting person you will become. People often \\\"live through\\\" the experiences of others. One person may not be ready to go skydiving but will feel in awe that you have and want to know all about it!\\nSign up for class about something you have never done before, like pottery or knitting, or participate in a sport you haven’t played before, like rugby.\\nTry things you might not be great at, such as public speaking or improv. Learn to master these skills.\\nRemember that the only way we can bring change and growth in our lives is by challenging the habits and behaviors we currently have. So push yourself to your limits and challenge yourself to improve and grow.\\n1-5. Fill up on knowledge.\\nBeing more interesting isn't about sitting around, but about living a varied life. You want to become the kind of person who has new things they can introduce to everyone.\\nRead widely. Read books on different topics by a range of different types of writers. Listen to podcasts. Keep up-to-date on what's going on in the world. Form your own opinions about the complicated world in which you live.\\nLearn about your neighborhood. Seek out new places or revisit old haunts in your town. Make one weekend night a week a \\\"going out\\\" night where you explore the 'hood.\\nSeek out interesting people. The people you spend time with affect your behavior. The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death found that the groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. So, if you want to be interesting, you need to surround yourself with dynamic people!\\n1-6. Hop off the bandwagon.\\nIf everyone else is doing it, you’re too late. Do your own thing, and others will follow. Plus, it's more fun to set the interesting trends than to simply follow them.\\nBe the leader of a crowd, not a follower. That shows you have confidence are someone worth knowing.\\n1-7. Embrace your innate uniqueness - and weirdness!\\nThis is quite possibly the most important point about becoming more interesting. No one is the exact same as anyone else. Every individual is precisely that - an individual. Everyone has quirks and insights unique to themselves. Don’t hide these things; these are what make you interesting.\\nDon't underestimate how interesting certain quirky or intellectual aspects of you can be. You like reading history books? Embrace it, rather than see it as a nerdy pastime of interest to no one. You can impress people with your knowledge of some pretty esoteric topics.\\nWear something crazy and fun. People might laugh but it will make you interesting. Don't be afraid to stand out.\\nNever feel as though you should have to change or hide who you are. Your quirks are what make you YOU. Becoming a more interesting person does not mean become someone else, but instead highlighting what it is about you specifically that is interesting.\\n2. Being More Interesting in Social Situations\\n2-1. Show up and talk.\\nThe author of the book on being interesting, literally titled How to Be Interesting, has said that the first step to being interesting is to actually show up. Go to things, socialize, meet people.\\nYou can show up basically as an observer of other interesting people and let that be a learning experience for you, or you can show up and be a little bit more of the life of the party. But the main thing is to show up. Consider this part of the exploration process.\\nIf you're at a party, make a circuit of the room, or try something on the table you've never had before. Stepping out of your comfort zone like this instantly gives you something to talk about with another guest.\\n2-2. Be a good observer and a great listener.\\nRemember, being interesting doesn't mean that you left the biggest impression, or that you're the one telling the story that grabs everyone's attention. Rather, it means that you left a positive impression on the people you interacted with or had a good conversation with them, and they want to get to know you.\\nMost captivating people are often good listeners. Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship, and envy. People love to talk about themselves and all the while there is a dearth of good listeners. Let the other person talk.\\n2-3. Talk about another person's interests.\\nThis is straight from Dale Carnegie's classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Ask people what they've been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You've become interesting simply by showing an interest. If you know about the topic, the similarity will bond you. If you don't, ask them to explain and listen as they talk about something they love.\\n2-4. Have good stories ready to go.\\nYou should have at least three stories that reliably entertain, inform, and engage other people. Rehearse your \\\"act\\\" just like a comedian. Don't count on making up good \\\"material\\\" on the spot; comedians don't do this and neither should you.\\nKeep in mind that people are generally more interested in stories about other people, rather than things. Human beings are fascinated by their own behavior. Capitalize on this.\\n2-5. Learn to present what you have to say in an engaging manner.\\nBeing interesting is as much about how you say something as what you have to say. Two people can tell the same story, but one person can do it in a droning, boring way and the other in a punchy, engaging bit. You want to be the latter.\\nEveryone has certain things about them that people tend to ask about over and over. Common topics include work, school, family, recent trips, etc. It helps to have mini-speeches and stories prepared for these topics. That way, if someone asks, you'll have something ready to go.\\nWhen you're speaking, words only account for 7 percent of what is conveyed. Voice tone and body language are far more important. Inject humor and personality into what you're saying. Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture.\\nThink about the most interesting person you know; chances are that this person had a manner of being that drew you to them - were they relaxed or confident or outgoing or enigmatic? Try to replicate this.\\n2-6. Develop an instinct.\\nRead other people. What you tell your parents about your recent trip to Europe will differ from what you tell new friends. If you notice people's attention wandering, try to switch it up, or ask a question.\\n2-7. Be brave.\\nBravery is needed to have contrary opinions and take unexpected paths. You don't have to be like everyone else and you shouldn't want to be. If you’re not courageous, you’re going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the guy who actually is.\\n2-8. Have fun!\\nPlay around. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"No one is boring and no one needs to be perfect. But maybe you feel that you are boring and need to be more interesting. Being an interesting person is not hereditary but something that can be learned and practiced. It’s a characteristic that you have to regularly work on and develop through being who you are and getting in touch with something which is inside all of us. Being interesting also involves social interaction and the willingness to share our lives with others. If you're looking to be more interesting, then you've come to the right place.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being More Interesting For Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Loosen up and be natural.\", \"描述\": \"Relax. One reason why many people fail to become interesting and stimulating people is that they worry too much over the small things and don’t come across as natural. Their effort backfires on them, because they are just trying too hard. Try to stay relaxed and flexible. Take life one day at a time.\\nDon't sweat the small stuff. Don't stress out if a class you wanted to take on the weekend is suddenly cancelled, for example. Instead, re-frame your thoughts to look ahead. Rather than get bummed out and dwell, find out when there's another class or plan something else to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be positive and optimistic.\", \"描述\": \"Interesting people are happy people. This is one of the reasons why we find them so interesting; whether we admit it or not, we want to know how and why happy people are so happy. Moreover, no one really wants to be around a \\\"Debbie Downer\\\", a negative, unhappy person.\\nLook for the positives in your life and become practiced in seeing the glass “half full.\\\" Feeling down because you never have plans on a Friday night? Instead of getting depressed, think of what you could do with that time: join a games night cafe, start a knitting club, etc. Sometimes disadvantages can turn into opportunities!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build an open personality.\", \"描述\": \"Be available to the world and look for excitement instead of waiting for it to find you. Celebrate flexibility and a \\\"just go with it\\\" attitude.\\nOftentimes people aren’t interesting because they are reserved. Many people feel that they need to hold back in order to protect themselves. Of course, to some extent, this is true, but you can also take this too far. By holding back too much, you're limiting your potential and in the process becoming less interesting. The more reserved you get, the more static your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Expand your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Being interesting means doing things you've never done before and being willing to share those experiences with other people. People who are boring and dull normally possess a very small comfort zone. So try to constantly expand your comfort zone and dare yourself to try new things; this is the quickest path to becoming more interesting.\\nThe more out of the ordinary experiences you have, the more of an interesting person you will become. People often \\\"live through\\\" the experiences of others. One person may not be ready to go skydiving but will feel in awe that you have and want to know all about it!\\nSign up for class about something you have never done before, like pottery or knitting, or participate in a sport you haven’t played before, like rugby.\\nTry things you might not be great at, such as public speaking or improv. Learn to master these skills.\\nRemember that the only way we can bring change and growth in our lives is by challenging the habits and behaviors we currently have. So push yourself to your limits and challenge yourself to improve and grow.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Fill up on knowledge.\", \"描述\": \"Being more interesting isn't about sitting around, but about living a varied life. You want to become the kind of person who has new things they can introduce to everyone.\\nRead widely. Read books on different topics by a range of different types of writers. Listen to podcasts. Keep up-to-date on what's going on in the world. Form your own opinions about the complicated world in which you live.\\nLearn about your neighborhood. Seek out new places or revisit old haunts in your town. Make one weekend night a week a \\\"going out\\\" night where you explore the 'hood.\\nSeek out interesting people. The people you spend time with affect your behavior. The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death found that the groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. So, if you want to be interesting, you need to surround yourself with dynamic people!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Hop off the bandwagon.\", \"描述\": \"If everyone else is doing it, you’re too late. Do your own thing, and others will follow. Plus, it's more fun to set the interesting trends than to simply follow them.\\nBe the leader of a crowd, not a follower. That shows you have confidence are someone worth knowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Embrace your innate uniqueness - and weirdness!\", \"描述\": \"This is quite possibly the most important point about becoming more interesting. No one is the exact same as anyone else. Every individual is precisely that - an individual. Everyone has quirks and insights unique to themselves. Don’t hide these things; these are what make you interesting.\\nDon't underestimate how interesting certain quirky or intellectual aspects of you can be. You like reading history books? Embrace it, rather than see it as a nerdy pastime of interest to no one. You can impress people with your knowledge of some pretty esoteric topics.\\nWear something crazy and fun. People might laugh but it will make you interesting. Don't be afraid to stand out.\\nNever feel as though you should have to change or hide who you are. Your quirks are what make you YOU. Becoming a more interesting person does not mean become someone else, but instead highlighting what it is about you specifically that is interesting.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being More Interesting in Social Situations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show up and talk.\", \"描述\": \"The author of the book on being interesting, literally titled How to Be Interesting, has said that the first step to being interesting is to actually show up. Go to things, socialize, meet people.\\nYou can show up basically as an observer of other interesting people and let that be a learning experience for you, or you can show up and be a little bit more of the life of the party. But the main thing is to show up. Consider this part of the exploration process.\\nIf you're at a party, make a circuit of the room, or try something on the table you've never had before. Stepping out of your comfort zone like this instantly gives you something to talk about with another guest.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good observer and a great listener.\", \"描述\": \"Remember, being interesting doesn't mean that you left the biggest impression, or that you're the one telling the story that grabs everyone's attention. Rather, it means that you left a positive impression on the people you interacted with or had a good conversation with them, and they want to get to know you.\\nMost captivating people are often good listeners. Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship, and envy. People love to talk about themselves and all the while there is a dearth of good listeners. Let the other person talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about another person's interests.\", \"描述\": \"This is straight from Dale Carnegie's classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Ask people what they've been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You've become interesting simply by showing an interest. If you know about the topic, the similarity will bond you. If you don't, ask them to explain and listen as they talk about something they love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have good stories ready to go.\", \"描述\": \"You should have at least three stories that reliably entertain, inform, and engage other people. Rehearse your \\\"act\\\" just like a comedian. Don't count on making up good \\\"material\\\" on the spot; comedians don't do this and neither should you.\\nKeep in mind that people are generally more interested in stories about other people, rather than things. Human beings are fascinated by their own behavior. Capitalize on this.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to present what you have to say in an engaging manner.\", \"描述\": \"Being interesting is as much about how you say something as what you have to say. Two people can tell the same story, but one person can do it in a droning, boring way and the other in a punchy, engaging bit. You want to be the latter.\\nEveryone has certain things about them that people tend to ask about over and over. Common topics include work, school, family, recent trips, etc. It helps to have mini-speeches and stories prepared for these topics. That way, if someone asks, you'll have something ready to go.\\nWhen you're speaking, words only account for 7 percent of what is conveyed. Voice tone and body language are far more important. Inject humor and personality into what you're saying. Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture.\\nThink about the most interesting person you know; chances are that this person had a manner of being that drew you to them - were they relaxed or confident or outgoing or enigmatic? Try to replicate this.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Develop an instinct.\", \"描述\": \"Read other people. What you tell your parents about your recent trip to Europe will differ from what you tell new friends. If you notice people's attention wandering, try to switch it up, or ask a question.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be brave.\", \"描述\": \"Bravery is needed to have contrary opinions and take unexpected paths. You don't have to be like everyone else and you shouldn't want to be. If you’re not courageous, you’re going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the guy who actually is.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Have fun!\", \"描述\": \"Play around. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,947 | How to Be More Introverted if You're an Extrovert | 1. What Being an Introvert Means
1-1. Don't confuse being an introvert with being shy.
A person who is shy usually wants to socialize but can't, because they are anxious in some way. But an introvert chooses not to socialize sometimes because they acquire psychological energy (or "recharge") from time spent alone.
1-2. Keep in mind most people are neither fully extroverted or fully introverted.
Famed psychologist Carl Jung, who coined the terms “extroverted” and “introverted”, argues there is no such thing as a complete extrovert or a complete introvert.
In fact, most people have a mix of extroverted and introverted tendencies, but tend to fall more on one side of the continuum.
1-3. Consider the benefits of balancing being an extrovert with introverted practices.
Generally, the people most likely to display all the qualities of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being are those who have a well-rounded balance between the introverted and extroverted sides of their personality.
For instance, if we prefer a life of solitude and are aware of our introverted nature, taking some new risks and adventures that involves interaction with groups of people could enrich our lives in a different and interesting way.
Similarly for extroverts, if we are "the life of the party," we may also benefit from adding a "time-out" to our lives, such as a time for reflection, a daily walk around the neighborhood or perhaps committing to reading a book 15 minutes a day.
2. Developing Introverted Practices
2-1. Keep a journal.
While extroverts are primarily concerned with what's going on outside themselves, introverts are often preoccupied with their inner world. One way to shift focus is by keeping a journal; commit to a daily writing practice. Ask yourself questions like:
What did I feel? Why?
What did I learn today? Who did I learn from?
What ideas arrived? Who did I think about today?
How was today different than yesterday? Than last week? Than last year?
What can I be grateful for? Who in my world seems lonely? Why?
2-2. Nurture your individual creativity.
Imagination and ideas develop from observation of the exterior world. The more you observe outside you, the more you take notice and the more connections you can make from concepts that may not naturally fit together.
When you're by yourself, what do you notice? What impressions does the world make on you? Creativity could be seen as 'self-absorbed', but a tremendous external focus is involved.
Write fictional short stories
Create works of art - painting, sculpture, sketching, etc.
Use an art journal
Write songs
Write poetry
2-3. Enjoy solitary tasks.
Such activities will cultivate patience and possibly relieve stress, as well as boredom, during times when you have to be alone. Here are some ideas:
Reading
Knitting, crochet
Programming
Listening to music by yourself
Practicing an instrument
Taking a solitary walk or hike
2-4. Increase your awareness.
Whether that means relating to a higher power, meditating or just taking time out of your day to learn something new, any shift or increase in perspective will nurture your introverted side.
Practicing mindfulness and things like Zen driving will also help. Contemplating the mysteries of science (the universe, quantum theory) can also be an intensely introspective experience.
2-5. Be patient
Sometimes solitude and looking inward can seem "boring" to an extrovert, since you're used to drawing energy from external stimuli. Think of learning how to embrace solitude similar to starting a new sport, one that you're not already naturally talented in. At first it's awkward and repetitive, but once you get the hang of it, you'll start having fun.
Keep in mind that introversion is not a mountain waiting to be climbed. In fact, most introverts use 'alone time' to recharge themselves. Alone time can be a good way to replenish after giving a lot of energy to a highly social situation or to someone that is also extroverted.
Tips
As an extrovert, cultivating a few solitary commitments can add more texture and depth to your life.
Be yourself. Introverts and extroverts should admire and complement each other, but shouldn't envy each other. As long as we're nice to each other, there's plenty of room in this world for both of us to shine.
If you are naturally extroverted, you shouldn't try to become an introvert because you think it's cool - it would be a silly thing to do. It's much more important to be true to yourself rather than pretending you're someone you're not. However, it is always great to take a break from socializing and reflect on yourself from time to time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:21",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. What Being an Introvert Means\\n1-1. Don't confuse being an introvert with being shy.\\nA person who is shy usually wants to socialize but can't, because they are anxious in some way. But an introvert chooses not to socialize sometimes because they acquire psychological energy (or \\\"recharge\\\") from time spent alone.\\n1-2. Keep in mind most people are neither fully extroverted or fully introverted.\\nFamed psychologist Carl Jung, who coined the terms “extroverted” and “introverted”, argues there is no such thing as a complete extrovert or a complete introvert.\\nIn fact, most people have a mix of extroverted and introverted tendencies, but tend to fall more on one side of the continuum.\\n1-3. Consider the benefits of balancing being an extrovert with introverted practices.\\nGenerally, the people most likely to display all the qualities of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being are those who have a well-rounded balance between the introverted and extroverted sides of their personality.\\nFor instance, if we prefer a life of solitude and are aware of our introverted nature, taking some new risks and adventures that involves interaction with groups of people could enrich our lives in a different and interesting way.\\nSimilarly for extroverts, if we are \\\"the life of the party,\\\" we may also benefit from adding a \\\"time-out\\\" to our lives, such as a time for reflection, a daily walk around the neighborhood or perhaps committing to reading a book 15 minutes a day.\\n2. Developing Introverted Practices\\n2-1. Keep a journal.\\nWhile extroverts are primarily concerned with what's going on outside themselves, introverts are often preoccupied with their inner world. One way to shift focus is by keeping a journal; commit to a daily writing practice. Ask yourself questions like:\\nWhat did I feel? Why?\\nWhat did I learn today? Who did I learn from?\\nWhat ideas arrived? Who did I think about today?\\nHow was today different than yesterday? Than last week? Than last year?\\nWhat can I be grateful for? Who in my world seems lonely? Why?\\n2-2. Nurture your individual creativity.\\nImagination and ideas develop from observation of the exterior world. The more you observe outside you, the more you take notice and the more connections you can make from concepts that may not naturally fit together.\\nWhen you're by yourself, what do you notice? What impressions does the world make on you? Creativity could be seen as 'self-absorbed', but a tremendous external focus is involved.\\nWrite fictional short stories\\nCreate works of art - painting, sculpture, sketching, etc.\\nUse an art journal\\nWrite songs\\nWrite poetry\\n2-3. Enjoy solitary tasks.\\nSuch activities will cultivate patience and possibly relieve stress, as well as boredom, during times when you have to be alone. Here are some ideas:\\nReading\\nKnitting, crochet\\nProgramming\\nListening to music by yourself\\nPracticing an instrument\\nTaking a solitary walk or hike\\n2-4. Increase your awareness.\\nWhether that means relating to a higher power, meditating or just taking time out of your day to learn something new, any shift or increase in perspective will nurture your introverted side.\\nPracticing mindfulness and things like Zen driving will also help. Contemplating the mysteries of science (the universe, quantum theory) can also be an intensely introspective experience.\\n2-5. Be patient\\nSometimes solitude and looking inward can seem \\\"boring\\\" to an extrovert, since you're used to drawing energy from external stimuli. Think of learning how to embrace solitude similar to starting a new sport, one that you're not already naturally talented in. At first it's awkward and repetitive, but once you get the hang of it, you'll start having fun.\\nKeep in mind that introversion is not a mountain waiting to be climbed. In fact, most introverts use 'alone time' to recharge themselves. Alone time can be a good way to replenish after giving a lot of energy to a highly social situation or to someone that is also extroverted.\\nTips\\nAs an extrovert, cultivating a few solitary commitments can add more texture and depth to your life.\\nBe yourself. Introverts and extroverts should admire and complement each other, but shouldn't envy each other. As long as we're nice to each other, there's plenty of room in this world for both of us to shine.\\nIf you are naturally extroverted, you shouldn't try to become an introvert because you think it's cool - it would be a silly thing to do. It's much more important to be true to yourself rather than pretending you're someone you're not. However, it is always great to take a break from socializing and reflect on yourself from time to time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Extroversion is a natural and healthy personality trait. However, it can be worthwhile for an extrovert to cultivate a few contemplative practices. If you're an extrovert, perhaps you've never considered how a rich inner life can bring positive benefits for both you and the people you care about. In fact, it may be very valuable to learn how to enjoy solitude as well as social relationships.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"What Being an Introvert Means\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't confuse being an introvert with being shy.\", \"描述\": \"A person who is shy usually wants to socialize but can't, because they are anxious in some way. But an introvert chooses not to socialize sometimes because they acquire psychological energy (or \\\"recharge\\\") from time spent alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind most people are neither fully extroverted or fully introverted.\", \"描述\": \"Famed psychologist Carl Jung, who coined the terms “extroverted” and “introverted”, argues there is no such thing as a complete extrovert or a complete introvert.\\nIn fact, most people have a mix of extroverted and introverted tendencies, but tend to fall more on one side of the continuum.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider the benefits of balancing being an extrovert with introverted practices.\", \"描述\": \"Generally, the people most likely to display all the qualities of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being are those who have a well-rounded balance between the introverted and extroverted sides of their personality.\\nFor instance, if we prefer a life of solitude and are aware of our introverted nature, taking some new risks and adventures that involves interaction with groups of people could enrich our lives in a different and interesting way.\\nSimilarly for extroverts, if we are \\\"the life of the party,\\\" we may also benefit from adding a \\\"time-out\\\" to our lives, such as a time for reflection, a daily walk around the neighborhood or perhaps committing to reading a book 15 minutes a day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Introverted Practices\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal.\", \"描述\": \"While extroverts are primarily concerned with what's going on outside themselves, introverts are often preoccupied with their inner world. One way to shift focus is by keeping a journal; commit to a daily writing practice. Ask yourself questions like:\\nWhat did I feel? Why?\\nWhat did I learn today? Who did I learn from?\\nWhat ideas arrived? Who did I think about today?\\nHow was today different than yesterday? Than last week? Than last year?\\nWhat can I be grateful for? Who in my world seems lonely? Why?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Nurture your individual creativity.\", \"描述\": \"Imagination and ideas develop from observation of the exterior world. The more you observe outside you, the more you take notice and the more connections you can make from concepts that may not naturally fit together.\\nWhen you're by yourself, what do you notice? What impressions does the world make on you? Creativity could be seen as 'self-absorbed', but a tremendous external focus is involved.\\nWrite fictional short stories\\nCreate works of art - painting, sculpture, sketching, etc.\\nUse an art journal\\nWrite songs\\nWrite poetry\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoy solitary tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Such activities will cultivate patience and possibly relieve stress, as well as boredom, during times when you have to be alone. Here are some ideas:\\nReading\\nKnitting, crochet\\nProgramming\\nListening to music by yourself\\nPracticing an instrument\\nTaking a solitary walk or hike\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Increase your awareness.\", \"描述\": \"Whether that means relating to a higher power, meditating or just taking time out of your day to learn something new, any shift or increase in perspective will nurture your introverted side.\\nPracticing mindfulness and things like Zen driving will also help. Contemplating the mysteries of science (the universe, quantum theory) can also be an intensely introspective experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be patient\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes solitude and looking inward can seem \\\"boring\\\" to an extrovert, since you're used to drawing energy from external stimuli. Think of learning how to embrace solitude similar to starting a new sport, one that you're not already naturally talented in. At first it's awkward and repetitive, but once you get the hang of it, you'll start having fun.\\nKeep in mind that introversion is not a mountain waiting to be climbed. In fact, most introverts use 'alone time' to recharge themselves. Alone time can be a good way to replenish after giving a lot of energy to a highly social situation or to someone that is also extroverted.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"As an extrovert, cultivating a few solitary commitments can add more texture and depth to your life.\\n\", \"Be yourself. Introverts and extroverts should admire and complement each other, but shouldn't envy each other. As long as we're nice to each other, there's plenty of room in this world for both of us to shine.\\n\", \"If you are naturally extroverted, you shouldn't try to become an introvert because you think it's cool - it would be a silly thing to do. It's much more important to be true to yourself rather than pretending you're someone you're not. However, it is always great to take a break from socializing and reflect on yourself from time to time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,948 | How to Be More Like Jesus (Christianity) | 1. Steps
1-1. Know who Jesus is and what he did.
Read the Bible to learn more about him. Acts 20:32 says that the Word of God is able to build you up.
1-2. Love him.
Radiate that love with others. Jesus said in John 13:34-35 that people would know us if we had the agape love of God and demonstrate it to the world.
Have the right heart. Proverbs 4:23, "Above all things keep your heart for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your Heart and rely not on your own understanding."
1-3. Care for other people.
Treat others as you would like to be treated (Golden rule of Jesus in Matthew 7:12); think beyond yourself. Jesus forgave Peter even though Peter betrayed Jesus. Peter betrayed Jesus but Jesus would never betray Peter.
1-4. Be learned and wise.
Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and Man (Luke 2:52).
1-5. Be humble
After Jesus washed His disciples feet, He said, "An example I have given you, that you should do likewise (John 13:15).
Deal with your pride and any boastfulness. Phil 2:5 says, "Let this humble mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus".
Be prepared to say sorry when you get something wrong.
1-6. Be considerate of others in all that you do.
I Corinthians 13:4 says that love is always patient and kind. It was also through love that Jesus healed the sick and His desire was that His followers would do the same thing (Matthew 14:14, Matthew 10:7-8)
1-7. Watch your tone of voice, your style of language (don't curse, blaspheme, etc.
). Always speak kindly of others and try to see things from their perspective. Jesus on the Cross said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).
Tips
Try to help everybody.
Do not judge others by their differences.
Give Jesus all of you in full surrender.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:21",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Know who Jesus is and what he did.\\nRead the Bible to learn more about him. Acts 20:32 says that the Word of God is able to build you up.\\n1-2. Love him.\\nRadiate that love with others. Jesus said in John 13:34-35 that people would know us if we had the agape love of God and demonstrate it to the world.\\nHave the right heart. Proverbs 4:23, \\\"Above all things keep your heart for out of it are the issues of life.\\\" Proverbs 3:5, \\\"Trust in the Lord with all your Heart and rely not on your own understanding.\\\"\\n1-3. Care for other people.\\nTreat others as you would like to be treated (Golden rule of Jesus in Matthew 7:12); think beyond yourself. Jesus forgave Peter even though Peter betrayed Jesus. Peter betrayed Jesus but Jesus would never betray Peter.\\n1-4. Be learned and wise.\\nJesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and Man (Luke 2:52).\\n1-5. Be humble\\nAfter Jesus washed His disciples feet, He said, \\\"An example I have given you, that you should do likewise (John 13:15).\\nDeal with your pride and any boastfulness. Phil 2:5 says, \\\"Let this humble mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus\\\".\\nBe prepared to say sorry when you get something wrong.\\n1-6. Be considerate of others in all that you do.\\nI Corinthians 13:4 says that love is always patient and kind. It was also through love that Jesus healed the sick and His desire was that His followers would do the same thing (Matthew 14:14, Matthew 10:7-8)\\n1-7. Watch your tone of voice, your style of language (don't curse, blaspheme, etc.\\n). Always speak kindly of others and try to see things from their perspective. Jesus on the Cross said, \\\"Father forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).\\nTips\\nTry to help everybody.\\nDo not judge others by their differences.\\nGive Jesus all of you in full surrender.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To be like Jesus is being a person willing to put others before yourself, to seek wisdom, and to care about how you interact with all people you come across in life. Here are some ways to be more like Jesus.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know who Jesus is and what he did.\", \"描述\": \"Read the Bible to learn more about him. Acts 20:32 says that the Word of God is able to build you up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Love him.\", \"描述\": \"Radiate that love with others. Jesus said in John 13:34-35 that people would know us if we had the agape love of God and demonstrate it to the world.\\nHave the right heart. Proverbs 4:23, \\\"Above all things keep your heart for out of it are the issues of life.\\\" Proverbs 3:5, \\\"Trust in the Lord with all your Heart and rely not on your own understanding.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Care for other people.\", \"描述\": \"Treat others as you would like to be treated (Golden rule of Jesus in Matthew 7:12); think beyond yourself. Jesus forgave Peter even though Peter betrayed Jesus. Peter betrayed Jesus but Jesus would never betray Peter.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be learned and wise.\", \"描述\": \"Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and Man (Luke 2:52).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be humble\", \"描述\": \"After Jesus washed His disciples feet, He said, \\\"An example I have given you, that you should do likewise (John 13:15).\\nDeal with your pride and any boastfulness. Phil 2:5 says, \\\"Let this humble mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus\\\".\\nBe prepared to say sorry when you get something wrong.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be considerate of others in all that you do.\", \"描述\": \"I Corinthians 13:4 says that love is always patient and kind. It was also through love that Jesus healed the sick and His desire was that His followers would do the same thing (Matthew 14:14, Matthew 10:7-8)\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Watch your tone of voice, your style of language (don't curse, blaspheme, etc.\", \"描述\": \"). Always speak kindly of others and try to see things from their perspective. Jesus on the Cross said, \\\"Father forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to help everybody.\\n\", \"Do not judge others by their differences.\\n\", \"Give Jesus all of you in full surrender.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,949 | How to Be More Like a French Woman | 1. Dressing Like a French Woman
1-1. Stick to the basics.
One of the most easily observable aspects of French fashion is the pared-down aesthetic so common to Parisian streets. Rather than bathing in bright colors, or rushing out to buy the latest fast-fashion trend, French women stick to the basics, both in cut and color.
A flattering cut will outshine a trendy item. When purchasing clothing, make sure it fits your frame well.
When in doubt, opt for neutrals. Neutrals are universally flattering, pair well with each other, and constitute wardrobe classics.
1-2. Curate your wardrobe to include staple items.
Although you want to wear basics, you should curate your closet so that each item you own matches or works well with at least two other items. This will make getting dressed in the morning easier and will give you a uniform, of sorts, to work from.
Staple items typically include a well-fitting pair of jeans, a classic-cut coat, a pair of black flats, and a well-fitting button-down shirt.
Your staple items should reflect your lifestyle. If you need office wear, for instance, tailor your closet to accommodate office wear.
1-3. Have a signature piece.
Whether you have a ring you wear every day, or you place a pin on your lapel every morning, French women use a single item to draw interest. You could also use color for your signature piece, such as a bright yellow scarf, or a red nail.
Your signature piece should be one you love, and that makes you feel great. Use your personality and likes to determine what you’d like your signature to be.
1-4. Mix masculine and feminine.
One of the greatest ways French women achieve the effortless effect so commonly attributed to France is through pairing feminine and masculine items. A lace cocktail dress can be paired with a pair of moto boots and a leather jacket. A nice blouse could work alongside a pair of men's slacks. The mix of masculine and feminine keeps your outfit interesting.
This takes some practice, so don’t be worried if you feel a bit silly at first. Pairing male and female items can have a learning curve.
Try pairing an oversized men's tee with a pair of skinny jeans and heels, or some oxford flats with a miniskirt and blazer.
1-5. Match your undergarments.
Although they’ll likely go unseen, you should never settle for ratty, unmatched undergarments. You can keep it simple, sticking to a color palette of white and black, or you can branch out and get some color into your wardrobe in the form of your lingerie.
When your undergarments have become worn, get a new set--no exceptions.
Opt for quality over quantity. A quality bra and panty set will boost your confidence and improve the fit of your clothing.
2. Wearing Your Hair Like a French Woman
2-1. Don’t wash your hair every day.
Washing your hair every day strips it of its natural oils, which can cause dry, brittle, flyaway hair. Instead, stick to a schedule of once every other day, or even once per week (if your hair permits). Use dry shampoo in the meantime, if necessary.
Ideally, your hair should have a smooth shaft. If your hair has a lot of split ends, cut off as much as needed to rid yourself of them.
2-2. Embrace your natural texture.
Whether your hair is curly, straight, wavy, or somewhere in between, embrace your natural texture. Instead of spending countless hours with curling irons or flat irons, play up your natural texture as much as possible.
For curly hair, this might mean foregoing a routine of gel, blow drying with a diffuser, and styling.
Straight-haired girls can leave their hair down and let it sit straight, rather than faking waves or curls.
For natural hair, embrace your texture by avoiding the blow dryer and allowing your hair to air dry and fall where it naturally prefers.
2-3. Don’t look too coiffed.
French women are not known for sleek, slicked-back hairstyles. Instead, they are usually associated with hair that looks a bit undone. Although this does not mean you can’t put your hair into a specific style, let some strands fall out of an elegant French twist, or embrace flyaways you might find in a low ponytail.
2-4. Wear a messy bun.
Parisian cafes are filled with messy buns piled atop the heads of French women. The key to a messy bun is in its structure: rather than opting for a slick, ballerina-style bun, loosely coil your hair in a bun, pin it in place with some bobby pins, and you’re good to go.
This particular style can be worn with shoulder-length and longer hair. Shorter hair is not likely to stay in.
2-5. Avoid obviously dyed hair.
Although many countries boast young people with neon-colored strands, French women opt for either natural hair, or naturally colored hair, sticking in the neighborhood of blacks, browns, reds, and blondes. Highlights and ombre styles do make appearances, but are typically more subdued in appearance.
3. Eating Like a French Woman
3-1. Do not overindulge.
French women are known for indulging in the good things: cheese, butter, bread, chocolate, and wine. The difference between French women and women in other countries, however, is the way in which they indulge. Rich foods are eaten in small portions, and accompanied by healthy foods.
An indulgence in chocolate, for instance, might be a square of chocolate at the close of each meal.
Butter may be used in a vegetable dish to add flavor.
3-2. Limit red meats.
While French people do not eschew red meat entirely, it is far more common to witness a plate of fish or poultry than a large steak. When tailoring your diet to mimic French women’s diets, trim the red meat, and opt instead for healthier, leaner options.
Leaner meats have the added benefit of being associated with lower body fat percentages.
3-3. Sip wine with dinner.
Red wine has long been discussed for its potential health benefits when accompanied by dinner each night, and French women take heed. Once again, however, an integral part of drinking red wine is making sure you are not bingeing on an entire bottle, but sipping eight or ten ounces with meals.
The type of wine matters, as well; a cheap bottle of fruit-flavored wine from the local grocery store is not the same as a good bottle of red wine or rosé.
3-4. Choose high-quality food items.
Instead of looking for a budget version of your favorite treat, purchase the highest-quality food you can. For some, that will mean all-organic produce and meat products, while for others, that will mean sourcing grass-fed cheese and butter.
Not all places will have high-quality foods readily available, but many do have farmer’s markets from which to purchase fresh produce. Take advantage of these offerings.
3-5. Sit down for meals.
French women do not plop down in front of the television or computer with dinner in hand. Instead, they sit at the table and eat their meals carefully and mindfully.
This particular style of eating has also been linked to smaller waist sizes and greater health, while studies have shown that eating while distracted can result in weight gain and overeating.
4. Implementing Self Care Like a French Woman
4-1. Nourish your skin.
Because most French women prefer a more natural makeup look, having clear skin is an absolute must. Use only high-quality facial care items, and keep your skin full and supple through the use of skin oils, healthy dietary choices, and getting plenty of rest.
To encourage glowing skin, remember to exfoliate once or twice per week, and avoid harsh chemical cleansers.
4-2. Put your needs first.
French women do not stretch themselves thin, working to please everyone around them. They put themselves first, even with close friends, to make sure their needs are met before moving on to the needs of others. This is true of family relationships, friendships, and even partnerships.
Note that putting your needs first is not the same as being selfish. French women are not selfish, but recognize the importance of being strong and healthy first.
4-3. Learn to relax.
French women do not pressure themselves with a strict, intense workout regimen, nor do they push themselves at work until they are exhausted. French women relax physically and mentally to ensure they are always at their absolute best.
This can be a particularly difficult shift, as many countries encourage women to constantly push themselves to achieve greater gains. Practice relaxing for five minute each day, and go from there.
Creating a daily routine is a great way to relax. You can set aside a few moments each morning to read the paper, or have a standing afternoon coffee date with yourself.
4-4. Work with your body, not against it.
Your body has certain angles, quirks, and tendencies that cannot be altered quickly or easily. Instead of constantly trying to suppress your body’s natural tendencies or eliminate your natural shape, work with what you have.
If you have a long, lanky frame, play it up with loose cuts and show your legs.
If you are curvy, make your curves work for you with cinched waists and feminine cuts.
4-5. Make walking a habit.
Instead of driving everywhere, make use of your legs. Whenever possible, walk to your destination. Walking is less expensive than virtually any other form of transportation, will keep your body in good working condition, and will give you an air of independence.
Not all cities have public transit systems or are easy to walk around in. Do what you can where you are. Walk to your favorite coffee shop, or take a quick walk around the block.
Tips
Purchase one new clothing item each month as you build your French-inspired wardrobe. This allows you to purchase higher-quality pieces and gives you time to really think over your purchases.
Adopt the habits that fit well into your lifestyle. If something doesn’t fit well, that’s okay! A French woman would not try to change herself to fit the wants of others.
Use sugar sweeter instead of regular sugar.
Warnings
Implement these changes gradually, as trying to tackle them all at once might be too overwhelming.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:21",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dressing Like a French Woman\\n1-1. Stick to the basics.\\nOne of the most easily observable aspects of French fashion is the pared-down aesthetic so common to Parisian streets. Rather than bathing in bright colors, or rushing out to buy the latest fast-fashion trend, French women stick to the basics, both in cut and color.\\nA flattering cut will outshine a trendy item. When purchasing clothing, make sure it fits your frame well.\\nWhen in doubt, opt for neutrals. Neutrals are universally flattering, pair well with each other, and constitute wardrobe classics.\\n1-2. Curate your wardrobe to include staple items.\\nAlthough you want to wear basics, you should curate your closet so that each item you own matches or works well with at least two other items. This will make getting dressed in the morning easier and will give you a uniform, of sorts, to work from.\\nStaple items typically include a well-fitting pair of jeans, a classic-cut coat, a pair of black flats, and a well-fitting button-down shirt.\\nYour staple items should reflect your lifestyle. If you need office wear, for instance, tailor your closet to accommodate office wear.\\n1-3. Have a signature piece.\\nWhether you have a ring you wear every day, or you place a pin on your lapel every morning, French women use a single item to draw interest. You could also use color for your signature piece, such as a bright yellow scarf, or a red nail.\\nYour signature piece should be one you love, and that makes you feel great. Use your personality and likes to determine what you’d like your signature to be.\\n1-4. Mix masculine and feminine.\\nOne of the greatest ways French women achieve the effortless effect so commonly attributed to France is through pairing feminine and masculine items. A lace cocktail dress can be paired with a pair of moto boots and a leather jacket. A nice blouse could work alongside a pair of men's slacks. The mix of masculine and feminine keeps your outfit interesting.\\nThis takes some practice, so don’t be worried if you feel a bit silly at first. Pairing male and female items can have a learning curve.\\nTry pairing an oversized men's tee with a pair of skinny jeans and heels, or some oxford flats with a miniskirt and blazer.\\n1-5. Match your undergarments.\\nAlthough they’ll likely go unseen, you should never settle for ratty, unmatched undergarments. You can keep it simple, sticking to a color palette of white and black, or you can branch out and get some color into your wardrobe in the form of your lingerie.\\nWhen your undergarments have become worn, get a new set--no exceptions.\\nOpt for quality over quantity. A quality bra and panty set will boost your confidence and improve the fit of your clothing.\\n2. Wearing Your Hair Like a French Woman\\n2-1. Don’t wash your hair every day.\\nWashing your hair every day strips it of its natural oils, which can cause dry, brittle, flyaway hair. Instead, stick to a schedule of once every other day, or even once per week (if your hair permits). Use dry shampoo in the meantime, if necessary.\\nIdeally, your hair should have a smooth shaft. If your hair has a lot of split ends, cut off as much as needed to rid yourself of them.\\n2-2. Embrace your natural texture.\\nWhether your hair is curly, straight, wavy, or somewhere in between, embrace your natural texture. Instead of spending countless hours with curling irons or flat irons, play up your natural texture as much as possible.\\nFor curly hair, this might mean foregoing a routine of gel, blow drying with a diffuser, and styling.\\nStraight-haired girls can leave their hair down and let it sit straight, rather than faking waves or curls.\\nFor natural hair, embrace your texture by avoiding the blow dryer and allowing your hair to air dry and fall where it naturally prefers.\\n2-3. Don’t look too coiffed.\\nFrench women are not known for sleek, slicked-back hairstyles. Instead, they are usually associated with hair that looks a bit undone. Although this does not mean you can’t put your hair into a specific style, let some strands fall out of an elegant French twist, or embrace flyaways you might find in a low ponytail.\\n2-4. Wear a messy bun.\\nParisian cafes are filled with messy buns piled atop the heads of French women. The key to a messy bun is in its structure: rather than opting for a slick, ballerina-style bun, loosely coil your hair in a bun, pin it in place with some bobby pins, and you’re good to go.\\nThis particular style can be worn with shoulder-length and longer hair. Shorter hair is not likely to stay in.\\n2-5. Avoid obviously dyed hair.\\nAlthough many countries boast young people with neon-colored strands, French women opt for either natural hair, or naturally colored hair, sticking in the neighborhood of blacks, browns, reds, and blondes. Highlights and ombre styles do make appearances, but are typically more subdued in appearance.\\n3. Eating Like a French Woman\\n3-1. Do not overindulge.\\nFrench women are known for indulging in the good things: cheese, butter, bread, chocolate, and wine. The difference between French women and women in other countries, however, is the way in which they indulge. Rich foods are eaten in small portions, and accompanied by healthy foods.\\nAn indulgence in chocolate, for instance, might be a square of chocolate at the close of each meal.\\nButter may be used in a vegetable dish to add flavor.\\n3-2. Limit red meats.\\nWhile French people do not eschew red meat entirely, it is far more common to witness a plate of fish or poultry than a large steak. When tailoring your diet to mimic French women’s diets, trim the red meat, and opt instead for healthier, leaner options.\\nLeaner meats have the added benefit of being associated with lower body fat percentages.\\n3-3. Sip wine with dinner.\\nRed wine has long been discussed for its potential health benefits when accompanied by dinner each night, and French women take heed. Once again, however, an integral part of drinking red wine is making sure you are not bingeing on an entire bottle, but sipping eight or ten ounces with meals.\\nThe type of wine matters, as well; a cheap bottle of fruit-flavored wine from the local grocery store is not the same as a good bottle of red wine or rosé.\\n3-4. Choose high-quality food items.\\nInstead of looking for a budget version of your favorite treat, purchase the highest-quality food you can. For some, that will mean all-organic produce and meat products, while for others, that will mean sourcing grass-fed cheese and butter.\\nNot all places will have high-quality foods readily available, but many do have farmer’s markets from which to purchase fresh produce. Take advantage of these offerings.\\n3-5. Sit down for meals.\\nFrench women do not plop down in front of the television or computer with dinner in hand. Instead, they sit at the table and eat their meals carefully and mindfully.\\nThis particular style of eating has also been linked to smaller waist sizes and greater health, while studies have shown that eating while distracted can result in weight gain and overeating.\\n4. Implementing Self Care Like a French Woman\\n4-1. Nourish your skin.\\nBecause most French women prefer a more natural makeup look, having clear skin is an absolute must. Use only high-quality facial care items, and keep your skin full and supple through the use of skin oils, healthy dietary choices, and getting plenty of rest.\\nTo encourage glowing skin, remember to exfoliate once or twice per week, and avoid harsh chemical cleansers.\\n4-2. Put your needs first.\\nFrench women do not stretch themselves thin, working to please everyone around them. They put themselves first, even with close friends, to make sure their needs are met before moving on to the needs of others. This is true of family relationships, friendships, and even partnerships.\\nNote that putting your needs first is not the same as being selfish. French women are not selfish, but recognize the importance of being strong and healthy first.\\n4-3. Learn to relax.\\nFrench women do not pressure themselves with a strict, intense workout regimen, nor do they push themselves at work until they are exhausted. French women relax physically and mentally to ensure they are always at their absolute best.\\nThis can be a particularly difficult shift, as many countries encourage women to constantly push themselves to achieve greater gains. Practice relaxing for five minute each day, and go from there.\\nCreating a daily routine is a great way to relax. You can set aside a few moments each morning to read the paper, or have a standing afternoon coffee date with yourself.\\n4-4. Work with your body, not against it.\\nYour body has certain angles, quirks, and tendencies that cannot be altered quickly or easily. Instead of constantly trying to suppress your body’s natural tendencies or eliminate your natural shape, work with what you have.\\nIf you have a long, lanky frame, play it up with loose cuts and show your legs.\\nIf you are curvy, make your curves work for you with cinched waists and feminine cuts.\\n4-5. Make walking a habit.\\nInstead of driving everywhere, make use of your legs. Whenever possible, walk to your destination. Walking is less expensive than virtually any other form of transportation, will keep your body in good working condition, and will give you an air of independence.\\nNot all cities have public transit systems or are easy to walk around in. Do what you can where you are. Walk to your favorite coffee shop, or take a quick walk around the block.\\nTips\\nPurchase one new clothing item each month as you build your French-inspired wardrobe. This allows you to purchase higher-quality pieces and gives you time to really think over your purchases.\\nAdopt the habits that fit well into your lifestyle. If something doesn’t fit well, that’s okay! A French woman would not try to change herself to fit the wants of others.\\nUse sugar sweeter instead of regular sugar.\\nWarnings\\nImplement these changes gradually, as trying to tackle them all at once might be too overwhelming.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There is no shortage of people who idolize French women. From their clothing, to their hairstyles, to their effortless je ne sais quoi, there is no denying that French women possess a certain quality that women around the world hope to embody. Fortunately, to embody the wonderful qualities of a French woman, you don’t have to up and move to France. Instead, you must dress, wear your hair, eat, and embrace self-care as French women do.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dressing Like a French Woman\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to the basics.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most easily observable aspects of French fashion is the pared-down aesthetic so common to Parisian streets. Rather than bathing in bright colors, or rushing out to buy the latest fast-fashion trend, French women stick to the basics, both in cut and color.\\nA flattering cut will outshine a trendy item. When purchasing clothing, make sure it fits your frame well.\\nWhen in doubt, opt for neutrals. Neutrals are universally flattering, pair well with each other, and constitute wardrobe classics.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Curate your wardrobe to include staple items.\", \"描述\": \"Although you want to wear basics, you should curate your closet so that each item you own matches or works well with at least two other items. This will make getting dressed in the morning easier and will give you a uniform, of sorts, to work from.\\nStaple items typically include a well-fitting pair of jeans, a classic-cut coat, a pair of black flats, and a well-fitting button-down shirt.\\nYour staple items should reflect your lifestyle. If you need office wear, for instance, tailor your closet to accommodate office wear.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a signature piece.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you have a ring you wear every day, or you place a pin on your lapel every morning, French women use a single item to draw interest. You could also use color for your signature piece, such as a bright yellow scarf, or a red nail.\\nYour signature piece should be one you love, and that makes you feel great. Use your personality and likes to determine what you’d like your signature to be.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Mix masculine and feminine.\", \"描述\": \"One of the greatest ways French women achieve the effortless effect so commonly attributed to France is through pairing feminine and masculine items. A lace cocktail dress can be paired with a pair of moto boots and a leather jacket. A nice blouse could work alongside a pair of men's slacks. The mix of masculine and feminine keeps your outfit interesting.\\nThis takes some practice, so don’t be worried if you feel a bit silly at first. Pairing male and female items can have a learning curve.\\nTry pairing an oversized men's tee with a pair of skinny jeans and heels, or some oxford flats with a miniskirt and blazer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Match your undergarments.\", \"描述\": \"Although they’ll likely go unseen, you should never settle for ratty, unmatched undergarments. You can keep it simple, sticking to a color palette of white and black, or you can branch out and get some color into your wardrobe in the form of your lingerie.\\nWhen your undergarments have become worn, get a new set--no exceptions.\\nOpt for quality over quantity. A quality bra and panty set will boost your confidence and improve the fit of your clothing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wearing Your Hair Like a French Woman\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t wash your hair every day.\", \"描述\": \"Washing your hair every day strips it of its natural oils, which can cause dry, brittle, flyaway hair. Instead, stick to a schedule of once every other day, or even once per week (if your hair permits). Use dry shampoo in the meantime, if necessary.\\nIdeally, your hair should have a smooth shaft. If your hair has a lot of split ends, cut off as much as needed to rid yourself of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embrace your natural texture.\", \"描述\": \"Whether your hair is curly, straight, wavy, or somewhere in between, embrace your natural texture. Instead of spending countless hours with curling irons or flat irons, play up your natural texture as much as possible.\\nFor curly hair, this might mean foregoing a routine of gel, blow drying with a diffuser, and styling.\\nStraight-haired girls can leave their hair down and let it sit straight, rather than faking waves or curls.\\nFor natural hair, embrace your texture by avoiding the blow dryer and allowing your hair to air dry and fall where it naturally prefers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t look too coiffed.\", \"描述\": \"French women are not known for sleek, slicked-back hairstyles. Instead, they are usually associated with hair that looks a bit undone. Although this does not mean you can’t put your hair into a specific style, let some strands fall out of an elegant French twist, or embrace flyaways you might find in a low ponytail.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear a messy bun.\", \"描述\": \"Parisian cafes are filled with messy buns piled atop the heads of French women. The key to a messy bun is in its structure: rather than opting for a slick, ballerina-style bun, loosely coil your hair in a bun, pin it in place with some bobby pins, and you’re good to go.\\nThis particular style can be worn with shoulder-length and longer hair. Shorter hair is not likely to stay in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid obviously dyed hair.\", \"描述\": \"Although many countries boast young people with neon-colored strands, French women opt for either natural hair, or naturally colored hair, sticking in the neighborhood of blacks, browns, reds, and blondes. Highlights and ombre styles do make appearances, but are typically more subdued in appearance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eating Like a French Woman\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not overindulge.\", \"描述\": \"French women are known for indulging in the good things: cheese, butter, bread, chocolate, and wine. The difference between French women and women in other countries, however, is the way in which they indulge. Rich foods are eaten in small portions, and accompanied by healthy foods.\\nAn indulgence in chocolate, for instance, might be a square of chocolate at the close of each meal.\\nButter may be used in a vegetable dish to add flavor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Limit red meats.\", \"描述\": \"While French people do not eschew red meat entirely, it is far more common to witness a plate of fish or poultry than a large steak. When tailoring your diet to mimic French women’s diets, trim the red meat, and opt instead for healthier, leaner options.\\nLeaner meats have the added benefit of being associated with lower body fat percentages.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sip wine with dinner.\", \"描述\": \"Red wine has long been discussed for its potential health benefits when accompanied by dinner each night, and French women take heed. Once again, however, an integral part of drinking red wine is making sure you are not bingeing on an entire bottle, but sipping eight or ten ounces with meals.\\nThe type of wine matters, as well; a cheap bottle of fruit-flavored wine from the local grocery store is not the same as a good bottle of red wine or rosé.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose high-quality food items.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of looking for a budget version of your favorite treat, purchase the highest-quality food you can. For some, that will mean all-organic produce and meat products, while for others, that will mean sourcing grass-fed cheese and butter.\\nNot all places will have high-quality foods readily available, but many do have farmer’s markets from which to purchase fresh produce. Take advantage of these offerings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sit down for meals.\", \"描述\": \"French women do not plop down in front of the television or computer with dinner in hand. Instead, they sit at the table and eat their meals carefully and mindfully.\\nThis particular style of eating has also been linked to smaller waist sizes and greater health, while studies have shown that eating while distracted can result in weight gain and overeating.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Implementing Self Care Like a French Woman\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Nourish your skin.\", \"描述\": \"Because most French women prefer a more natural makeup look, having clear skin is an absolute must. Use only high-quality facial care items, and keep your skin full and supple through the use of skin oils, healthy dietary choices, and getting plenty of rest.\\nTo encourage glowing skin, remember to exfoliate once or twice per week, and avoid harsh chemical cleansers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put your needs first.\", \"描述\": \"French women do not stretch themselves thin, working to please everyone around them. They put themselves first, even with close friends, to make sure their needs are met before moving on to the needs of others. This is true of family relationships, friendships, and even partnerships.\\nNote that putting your needs first is not the same as being selfish. French women are not selfish, but recognize the importance of being strong and healthy first.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to relax.\", \"描述\": \"French women do not pressure themselves with a strict, intense workout regimen, nor do they push themselves at work until they are exhausted. French women relax physically and mentally to ensure they are always at their absolute best.\\nThis can be a particularly difficult shift, as many countries encourage women to constantly push themselves to achieve greater gains. Practice relaxing for five minute each day, and go from there.\\nCreating a daily routine is a great way to relax. You can set aside a few moments each morning to read the paper, or have a standing afternoon coffee date with yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work with your body, not against it.\", \"描述\": \"Your body has certain angles, quirks, and tendencies that cannot be altered quickly or easily. Instead of constantly trying to suppress your body’s natural tendencies or eliminate your natural shape, work with what you have.\\nIf you have a long, lanky frame, play it up with loose cuts and show your legs.\\nIf you are curvy, make your curves work for you with cinched waists and feminine cuts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make walking a habit.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of driving everywhere, make use of your legs. Whenever possible, walk to your destination. Walking is less expensive than virtually any other form of transportation, will keep your body in good working condition, and will give you an air of independence.\\nNot all cities have public transit systems or are easy to walk around in. Do what you can where you are. Walk to your favorite coffee shop, or take a quick walk around the block.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Purchase one new clothing item each month as you build your French-inspired wardrobe. This allows you to purchase higher-quality pieces and gives you time to really think over your purchases.\\n\", \"Adopt the habits that fit well into your lifestyle. If something doesn’t fit well, that’s okay! A French woman would not try to change herself to fit the wants of others.\\n\", \"Use sugar sweeter instead of regular sugar.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Implement these changes gradually, as trying to tackle them all at once might be too overwhelming.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,950 | How to Be More Likely to Win a Swimming Race | 1. Improving Your Performance
1-1. Keep a tight, straight position.
The initial racing step of streamlining is an important factor in reducing drag. However, when the muscles get tired, swimmers usually try to skimp on keeping that tight, straight position. Make streamlining a mandatory part of your regular training routine. This way, it will become second nature whether you are training or competing. Regular practice will also allow you to improve your technique for a better shot at first place.
1-2. Remember to kick.
Whether you’re breaking out or swimming underwater, kicks help to reduce drag. When breaking out, kick forcefully from the wall. This will help you to maintain the speed you gained from the initial push. When you’re underwater, do dolphin kicks by extending your legs straight back, holding your feet together, and moving your legs straight up and down. The longer you can hold the kick, the more velocity you can gain.
1-3. Hold your head down and your arms at your sides.
Your head and arms can reduce the drag on the rest of your body if you know how to position them. When compared to the horizontal alignment of your body, your head should be in a downward position. Keep your arms alongside your body, as opposed to above your head. You can reduce drag significantly by practicing these techniques.
1-4. Spread your fingers.
Studies show that spreading your fingers just ten degrees can improve your speed by over two percent. To see what a ten-degree spread looks like, hold your right hand up with your palm facing you. Do not stretch your fingers out or squeeze them together. Make sure your pinky is pointing slightly to the left.
1-5. Practice bilateral breathing.
Professional swimmers argue that bilateral breathing is a key factor in endurance. Breathe on every third stroke, as opposed to the more common breath on every second or fourth. Rather than breathing from the same side of your nose each time, alternate which side you breathe on each time.
1-6. Lengthen and vary your strokes.
How you move your arms can also affect your endurance. For the complete stroke, reach your arm as far in front of you as you comfortably can. Reach as far behind you as possible in the push phase. Alternating between forward and backward strokes will give certain muscle groups to rest while others work.
1-7. Practice some race-ending hacks.
You will be tired by the end of the race, but that doesn’t mean you have to fall behind. Focus on muscles you haven't used to the point of exhaustion. Experts suggest kicking more vigorously and working your back and shoulders more. Working the less fatigued muscles will shift your focus away from the muscles that are tired.
2. Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle
2-1. Eat healthy.
Swimming can burn thousands of calories in a single practice. Ask your doctor to estimate your caloric burn by your age, weight, and height. After that, you need to replace those spent calories through the proper diet. Important nutrients swimmers need include zinc, protein, calcium, and healthy (monounsaturated) fats. Whether you are an omnivore, vegetarian, or vegan, you can get the recommended daily amount. Most of your diet should consist of fresh, whole foods to avoid having to take too many supplements.
Nuts (including peanut butter) and beans are excellent sources of healthy fats, zinc, and protein. Dark leafy greens are packed with calcium.
If you have to eat on the go, pack some granola bars, peanut butter, trail mix, or packable fruit (bananas, citrus, apples, etc.) to stay fueled.
The day before the competition, stick to small but frequent meals, about every two to four hours.
Avoid junk foods—anything deep fried, greasy, loaded with sugar, or containing ingredients you can’t pronounce.
2-2. Stay hydrated.
Believe it or not, you do sweat while swimming. If you don't hydrate before you swim or replace the moisture you lose, you could get dehydrated and experience physical or mental weakness. Regular sips before and after each practice, as well as between intervals, will keep you hydrated. Don't wait until you feel thirsty.
2-3. Get enough sleep.
Sleep is just as important as physical training for all athletes. Swimmers can improve their sprinting time, reaction time, strokes, and kicks by extending their sleep periods an extra hour or two per night for up to seven weeks before the competition. Go to sleep and wake up at the same times every day—even on weekends and holidays.
If you feel tired during the day, take a nap, but keep it short. Set your alarm to go off 20 to 30 minutes after your head hits the pillow. Use caution, though. Naps should not replace the eight- to ten hours of sleep you need every night.
3. Training Efficiently
3-1. Talk to your coach.
This is especially crucial before you’ve finalized your training plan. Your coach can give you advice about which strokes and events you would do well in. If you are swimming in the meet to get a qualifying time for one of the larger meets, ask your coach what the qualifying times are.
3-2. Set goals.
Figure out one long-term goal first. Then, set weekly or monthly short-term goals that will make your long-term goal easier to achieve. For example, if your long-term goal is to improve your time by the end of the season, you need to set monthly and weekly goals that will improve your speed and endurance.
3-3. Warm up.
No matter how pressed you are for time, you should never skip the warm-up. Begin by stretching, working each part of your body in the order your coach recommends. If your muscles are cold, take a short brisk walk or go for a brief swim before you stretch. Continue by power walking, jogging, or swinging your arms to raise your temperature and get your blood flowing.
3-4. Work on your flexibility.
Whether you’re streamlining or kicking, flexibility can work wonders in improving your speed. Stretching, which conditions your joints to absorb force, is still popular. However, coaches are increasingly recommending mobility drills, which train your joints for improved range of motion.
Mobility exercises with a tennis ball can make your shoulders more flexible.
Lie on your back, and place a tennis ball between your spine and rear shoulder bone.
Place your arm on the floor with your palm facing upward.
Slowly move your arm across your body to touch the opposite hip.
Move your arm diagonally so that your hand is overhead.
Move the tennis ball to the other side of your spine, and repeat with the other arm.
Training with a monofin can improve flexibility in your ankles. Start out with four to six 25-meter lengths each week. Increase your sets, distance, and time using the monofin as your ankles strengthen. Regular training allows you to track your improvement easily.
3-5. Exercise on dry land.
In addition to training in the water, you need to have a regular exercise routine. Aerobic exercises like running will help improve your endurance. Resistance training and calisthenics will keep your core (abdominal and back) muscles strong enough to support the motions of your arms and legs.
3-6. Practice with a teammate.
Training with a buddy allows you to hold each other accountable for making it to practice, arriving on time, and not leaving early. Choose a teammate who you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with you. Come to a mutual agreement what days and times you plan to train in the water and on dry land. On the rare occasion when your buddy can’t make it, have a back-up plan ready to keep you motivated.
3-7. Slow down to cool down.
As your training session ends, slow down your pace. Then, transition to easy strokes and kicks. Swim 200 to 800 meters to prevent lactic acid buildup in the muscles.
3-8. End with stretches.
Stretching reduces muscle soreness and the risk of injury. Focus on the muscles that get most use during your training. These include:
Extend your left arm across your chest. Bring the back of your right hand to your left tricep and push back until you feel your left shoulder stretching. Repeat with the right arm.
Extend your arms straight ahead of you. Turn your palms outward and interlace your fingers.
Place your hands on the back of your hips, palms down. Try to squeeze your elbows together until you feel your chest muscles stretching.
Hold each stretch for 30 to 40 seconds.
Tips
Never underestimate your opponents. A smaller or seemingly weaker opponent does not guarantee that you will win. Treat all swimmers equally.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:21",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving Your Performance\\n1-1. Keep a tight, straight position.\\nThe initial racing step of streamlining is an important factor in reducing drag. However, when the muscles get tired, swimmers usually try to skimp on keeping that tight, straight position. Make streamlining a mandatory part of your regular training routine. This way, it will become second nature whether you are training or competing. Regular practice will also allow you to improve your technique for a better shot at first place.\\n1-2. Remember to kick.\\nWhether you’re breaking out or swimming underwater, kicks help to reduce drag. When breaking out, kick forcefully from the wall. This will help you to maintain the speed you gained from the initial push. When you’re underwater, do dolphin kicks by extending your legs straight back, holding your feet together, and moving your legs straight up and down. The longer you can hold the kick, the more velocity you can gain.\\n1-3. Hold your head down and your arms at your sides.\\nYour head and arms can reduce the drag on the rest of your body if you know how to position them. When compared to the horizontal alignment of your body, your head should be in a downward position. Keep your arms alongside your body, as opposed to above your head. You can reduce drag significantly by practicing these techniques.\\n1-4. Spread your fingers.\\nStudies show that spreading your fingers just ten degrees can improve your speed by over two percent. To see what a ten-degree spread looks like, hold your right hand up with your palm facing you. Do not stretch your fingers out or squeeze them together. Make sure your pinky is pointing slightly to the left.\\n1-5. Practice bilateral breathing.\\nProfessional swimmers argue that bilateral breathing is a key factor in endurance. Breathe on every third stroke, as opposed to the more common breath on every second or fourth. Rather than breathing from the same side of your nose each time, alternate which side you breathe on each time.\\n1-6. Lengthen and vary your strokes.\\nHow you move your arms can also affect your endurance. For the complete stroke, reach your arm as far in front of you as you comfortably can. Reach as far behind you as possible in the push phase. Alternating between forward and backward strokes will give certain muscle groups to rest while others work.\\n1-7. Practice some race-ending hacks.\\nYou will be tired by the end of the race, but that doesn’t mean you have to fall behind. Focus on muscles you haven't used to the point of exhaustion. Experts suggest kicking more vigorously and working your back and shoulders more. Working the less fatigued muscles will shift your focus away from the muscles that are tired.\\n2. Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle\\n2-1. Eat healthy.\\nSwimming can burn thousands of calories in a single practice. Ask your doctor to estimate your caloric burn by your age, weight, and height. After that, you need to replace those spent calories through the proper diet. Important nutrients swimmers need include zinc, protein, calcium, and healthy (monounsaturated) fats. Whether you are an omnivore, vegetarian, or vegan, you can get the recommended daily amount. Most of your diet should consist of fresh, whole foods to avoid having to take too many supplements.\\nNuts (including peanut butter) and beans are excellent sources of healthy fats, zinc, and protein. Dark leafy greens are packed with calcium.\\nIf you have to eat on the go, pack some granola bars, peanut butter, trail mix, or packable fruit (bananas, citrus, apples, etc.) to stay fueled.\\nThe day before the competition, stick to small but frequent meals, about every two to four hours.\\nAvoid junk foods—anything deep fried, greasy, loaded with sugar, or containing ingredients you can’t pronounce.\\n2-2. Stay hydrated.\\nBelieve it or not, you do sweat while swimming. If you don't hydrate before you swim or replace the moisture you lose, you could get dehydrated and experience physical or mental weakness. Regular sips before and after each practice, as well as between intervals, will keep you hydrated. Don't wait until you feel thirsty.\\n2-3. Get enough sleep.\\nSleep is just as important as physical training for all athletes. Swimmers can improve their sprinting time, reaction time, strokes, and kicks by extending their sleep periods an extra hour or two per night for up to seven weeks before the competition. Go to sleep and wake up at the same times every day—even on weekends and holidays.\\nIf you feel tired during the day, take a nap, but keep it short. Set your alarm to go off 20 to 30 minutes after your head hits the pillow. Use caution, though. Naps should not replace the eight- to ten hours of sleep you need every night.\\n3. Training Efficiently\\n3-1. Talk to your coach.\\nThis is especially crucial before you’ve finalized your training plan. Your coach can give you advice about which strokes and events you would do well in. If you are swimming in the meet to get a qualifying time for one of the larger meets, ask your coach what the qualifying times are.\\n3-2. Set goals.\\nFigure out one long-term goal first. Then, set weekly or monthly short-term goals that will make your long-term goal easier to achieve. For example, if your long-term goal is to improve your time by the end of the season, you need to set monthly and weekly goals that will improve your speed and endurance.\\n3-3. Warm up.\\nNo matter how pressed you are for time, you should never skip the warm-up. Begin by stretching, working each part of your body in the order your coach recommends. If your muscles are cold, take a short brisk walk or go for a brief swim before you stretch. Continue by power walking, jogging, or swinging your arms to raise your temperature and get your blood flowing.\\n3-4. Work on your flexibility.\\nWhether you’re streamlining or kicking, flexibility can work wonders in improving your speed. Stretching, which conditions your joints to absorb force, is still popular. However, coaches are increasingly recommending mobility drills, which train your joints for improved range of motion.\\nMobility exercises with a tennis ball can make your shoulders more flexible. \\nLie on your back, and place a tennis ball between your spine and rear shoulder bone.\\nPlace your arm on the floor with your palm facing upward.\\nSlowly move your arm across your body to touch the opposite hip.\\nMove your arm diagonally so that your hand is overhead.\\nMove the tennis ball to the other side of your spine, and repeat with the other arm.\\n\\nTraining with a monofin can improve flexibility in your ankles. Start out with four to six 25-meter lengths each week. Increase your sets, distance, and time using the monofin as your ankles strengthen. Regular training allows you to track your improvement easily.\\n3-5. Exercise on dry land.\\nIn addition to training in the water, you need to have a regular exercise routine. Aerobic exercises like running will help improve your endurance. Resistance training and calisthenics will keep your core (abdominal and back) muscles strong enough to support the motions of your arms and legs.\\n3-6. Practice with a teammate.\\nTraining with a buddy allows you to hold each other accountable for making it to practice, arriving on time, and not leaving early. Choose a teammate who you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with you. Come to a mutual agreement what days and times you plan to train in the water and on dry land. On the rare occasion when your buddy can’t make it, have a back-up plan ready to keep you motivated.\\n3-7. Slow down to cool down.\\nAs your training session ends, slow down your pace. Then, transition to easy strokes and kicks. Swim 200 to 800 meters to prevent lactic acid buildup in the muscles.\\n3-8. End with stretches.\\nStretching reduces muscle soreness and the risk of injury. Focus on the muscles that get most use during your training. These include:\\n\\n Extend your left arm across your chest. Bring the back of your right hand to your left tricep and push back until you feel your left shoulder stretching. Repeat with the right arm.\\n Extend your arms straight ahead of you. Turn your palms outward and interlace your fingers.\\n Place your hands on the back of your hips, palms down. Try to squeeze your elbows together until you feel your chest muscles stretching.\\nHold each stretch for 30 to 40 seconds.\\nTips\\nNever underestimate your opponents. A smaller or seemingly weaker opponent does not guarantee that you will win. Treat all swimmers equally.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re like most competitive swimmers, you almost certainly want to know how to improve your chances of winning races. In swimming competitions, every fraction of a second counts. Even a 0.01 second improvement can make all the difference in the world. Therefore, measures that you can take to improve your speed and endurance, adopt a healthy lifestyle, and train often can improve your odds of success.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Performance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a tight, straight position.\", \"描述\": \"The initial racing step of streamlining is an important factor in reducing drag. However, when the muscles get tired, swimmers usually try to skimp on keeping that tight, straight position. Make streamlining a mandatory part of your regular training routine. This way, it will become second nature whether you are training or competing. Regular practice will also allow you to improve your technique for a better shot at first place.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember to kick.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re breaking out or swimming underwater, kicks help to reduce drag. When breaking out, kick forcefully from the wall. This will help you to maintain the speed you gained from the initial push. When you’re underwater, do dolphin kicks by extending your legs straight back, holding your feet together, and moving your legs straight up and down. The longer you can hold the kick, the more velocity you can gain.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hold your head down and your arms at your sides.\", \"描述\": \"Your head and arms can reduce the drag on the rest of your body if you know how to position them. When compared to the horizontal alignment of your body, your head should be in a downward position. Keep your arms alongside your body, as opposed to above your head. You can reduce drag significantly by practicing these techniques.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spread your fingers.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that spreading your fingers just ten degrees can improve your speed by over two percent. To see what a ten-degree spread looks like, hold your right hand up with your palm facing you. Do not stretch your fingers out or squeeze them together. Make sure your pinky is pointing slightly to the left.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice bilateral breathing.\", \"描述\": \"Professional swimmers argue that bilateral breathing is a key factor in endurance. Breathe on every third stroke, as opposed to the more common breath on every second or fourth. Rather than breathing from the same side of your nose each time, alternate which side you breathe on each time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Lengthen and vary your strokes.\", \"描述\": \"How you move your arms can also affect your endurance. For the complete stroke, reach your arm as far in front of you as you comfortably can. Reach as far behind you as possible in the push phase. Alternating between forward and backward strokes will give certain muscle groups to rest while others work.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Practice some race-ending hacks.\", \"描述\": \"You will be tired by the end of the race, but that doesn’t mean you have to fall behind. Focus on muscles you haven't used to the point of exhaustion. Experts suggest kicking more vigorously and working your back and shoulders more. Working the less fatigued muscles will shift your focus away from the muscles that are tired.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Swimming can burn thousands of calories in a single practice. Ask your doctor to estimate your caloric burn by your age, weight, and height. After that, you need to replace those spent calories through the proper diet. Important nutrients swimmers need include zinc, protein, calcium, and healthy (monounsaturated) fats. Whether you are an omnivore, vegetarian, or vegan, you can get the recommended daily amount. Most of your diet should consist of fresh, whole foods to avoid having to take too many supplements.\\nNuts (including peanut butter) and beans are excellent sources of healthy fats, zinc, and protein. Dark leafy greens are packed with calcium.\\nIf you have to eat on the go, pack some granola bars, peanut butter, trail mix, or packable fruit (bananas, citrus, apples, etc.) to stay fueled.\\nThe day before the competition, stick to small but frequent meals, about every two to four hours.\\nAvoid junk foods—anything deep fried, greasy, loaded with sugar, or containing ingredients you can’t pronounce.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay hydrated.\", \"描述\": \"Believe it or not, you do sweat while swimming. If you don't hydrate before you swim or replace the moisture you lose, you could get dehydrated and experience physical or mental weakness. Regular sips before and after each practice, as well as between intervals, will keep you hydrated. Don't wait until you feel thirsty.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Sleep is just as important as physical training for all athletes. Swimmers can improve their sprinting time, reaction time, strokes, and kicks by extending their sleep periods an extra hour or two per night for up to seven weeks before the competition. Go to sleep and wake up at the same times every day—even on weekends and holidays.\\nIf you feel tired during the day, take a nap, but keep it short. Set your alarm to go off 20 to 30 minutes after your head hits the pillow. Use caution, though. Naps should not replace the eight- to ten hours of sleep you need every night.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Training Efficiently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your coach.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially crucial before you’ve finalized your training plan. Your coach can give you advice about which strokes and events you would do well in. If you are swimming in the meet to get a qualifying time for one of the larger meets, ask your coach what the qualifying times are.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set goals.\", \"描述\": \"Figure out one long-term goal first. Then, set weekly or monthly short-term goals that will make your long-term goal easier to achieve. For example, if your long-term goal is to improve your time by the end of the season, you need to set monthly and weekly goals that will improve your speed and endurance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Warm up.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how pressed you are for time, you should never skip the warm-up. Begin by stretching, working each part of your body in the order your coach recommends. If your muscles are cold, take a short brisk walk or go for a brief swim before you stretch. Continue by power walking, jogging, or swinging your arms to raise your temperature and get your blood flowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work on your flexibility.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re streamlining or kicking, flexibility can work wonders in improving your speed. Stretching, which conditions your joints to absorb force, is still popular. However, coaches are increasingly recommending mobility drills, which train your joints for improved range of motion.\\nMobility exercises with a tennis ball can make your shoulders more flexible. \\nLie on your back, and place a tennis ball between your spine and rear shoulder bone.\\nPlace your arm on the floor with your palm facing upward.\\nSlowly move your arm across your body to touch the opposite hip.\\nMove your arm diagonally so that your hand is overhead.\\nMove the tennis ball to the other side of your spine, and repeat with the other arm.\\n\\nTraining with a monofin can improve flexibility in your ankles. Start out with four to six 25-meter lengths each week. Increase your sets, distance, and time using the monofin as your ankles strengthen. Regular training allows you to track your improvement easily.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Exercise on dry land.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to training in the water, you need to have a regular exercise routine. Aerobic exercises like running will help improve your endurance. Resistance training and calisthenics will keep your core (abdominal and back) muscles strong enough to support the motions of your arms and legs.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice with a teammate.\", \"描述\": \"Training with a buddy allows you to hold each other accountable for making it to practice, arriving on time, and not leaving early. Choose a teammate who you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with you. Come to a mutual agreement what days and times you plan to train in the water and on dry land. On the rare occasion when your buddy can’t make it, have a back-up plan ready to keep you motivated.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Slow down to cool down.\", \"描述\": \"As your training session ends, slow down your pace. Then, transition to easy strokes and kicks. Swim 200 to 800 meters to prevent lactic acid buildup in the muscles.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"End with stretches.\", \"描述\": \"Stretching reduces muscle soreness and the risk of injury. Focus on the muscles that get most use during your training. These include:\\n\\n Extend your left arm across your chest. Bring the back of your right hand to your left tricep and push back until you feel your left shoulder stretching. Repeat with the right arm.\\n Extend your arms straight ahead of you. Turn your palms outward and interlace your fingers.\\n Place your hands on the back of your hips, palms down. Try to squeeze your elbows together until you feel your chest muscles stretching.\\nHold each stretch for 30 to 40 seconds.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Never underestimate your opponents. A smaller or seemingly weaker opponent does not guarantee that you will win. Treat all swimmers equally.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,951 | How to Be More Loving | 1. Sharing Your Love With the World
1-1. Serve others.
Learning to give your time and energy in service to a just cause does not only create a better world, it also provides great personal satisfaction and helps you be more loving. Identify a cause you believe in and locate a related volunteer organization in your area. For instance, if you’re passionate about animal rights and environmentalism, you could volunteer with your local animal shelter or conservation group.
1-2. Reflect on your personal mistakes.
Taking time to consider occasions in which you acted out of spite, hate, or anger. Thinking about these failures, both big and small, and recognizing that you were in the wrong, will lead you to act in a better, more loving way in the future. While you should not hold on to or obsess over your mistakes, it is important to reflect on them to discover how you can respond in more loving ways in the future.
For instance, if you got angry at a coworker and yelled at him, think the situation over to find out both how you can make it right and how you can avoid repeating the same mistake next time.
Perhaps you’ll conclude that when you feel angry, instead of responding immediately, it’s best if you take five minutes to practice deep breathing exercises and calm down before confronting someone who frustrates you.
1-3. Surround yourself with people who are loving.
Love is infectious. When you are around people who are full of love for you, themselves, and others, you will have a hard time not becoming more loving yourself. Find friends who support you and minimize the time you spend with negative, spiteful individuals.
1-4. Practice forgiveness.
Even if someone blatantly disrespects and dislikes you, you should be prepared to forgive them. To be more loving, you must let go of hate and anger. This applies not only to others, but to yourself, as well. Don’t hold on to your failures. Learn from them, then let them go.
Picture your negative memories and thoughts as little red balloons. In your mind’s eye, imagine you’re letting them go and watching them float up into space until they are out of sight.
1-5. Write down positive experiences.
At the end of each day, write down the best things that happened during the day in a journal. Writing down information makes you more likely to retain it, so by writing down positive experiences, you’ll be able to act in a more loving way. For instance, you might write, “My friend Abu is so kind. I am thankful to have a friend like him.” Actively making a note about your appreciation for your friends, family, and coworkers -- as well as nonhuman good things like animals, the sun, and earth -- can help you become more loving.
2. Understanding Love
2-1. Let go of fantasy love.
This version of love is less focused on actions and more focused on an intangible feeling. While love does have an important emotional aspect, love is also about acting in a loving way. By recognizing that loving actions are an essential ingredient to real love, you can begin to let go of the notion that love exists only or primarily as a feeling.
The fantasy of love dictates that when people love each other, they never fight or say anything hurtful. Letting go of this fantasy will also help you realize that even though you love your partner, they are not perfect. This realization will allow deeper intimacy as you begin to see your actual, not idealized, partner.
2-2. Evaluate your your actions.
One of the big obstacles to becoming more loving is believing that you are already loving someone at an adequate level. However, your actions tell you a lot about what you really feel and think. Think about the way you act in order to discover if you are acting in a loving way.
Even if you believe, “I am a good partner and give lots of love to my partner,” upon reflection you might reconsider this belief. For instance, do you respect your partner’s wants and needs? Do you show him or her affection? Do you say kind things that encourage them to become the best person they can be?
Carefully reflect upon your behavior to discern whether or not you could be more loving. In order to avoid biasing the evaluation in your favor, ask for input from your partner. Ask him or her, “Does my behavior demonstrate that I love you?” Use their feedback when considering your actions.
2-3. Don’t expect anything in return.
If you do something nice for your partner or someone else, don’t hold it against them by expecting them to do something nice for you in return. To be more loving, give without any thought of reward for yourself. Love should not involve keeping score on either conflicts and negative interactions, or on good things, gift-giving, and positive interactions.
If you love someone, share with them all that you can within reason. However, don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. Ensure your needs are met, as well as your partner’s.
3. Working On You
3-1. Be more hopeful.
Everyone struggles with self-doubt and internal criticism. Perhaps you hear a small, critical voice attacking you or your partner. “She/He is a loser. You can do better,” or “This relationship will not work out. Being honest with her/him will only lead to disappointment” are examples of the kinds of lies we’ve internalized due to bad experiences in the past or critical parents or family members. Letting go of this baggage can help you become more loving.
Don’t listen to internal negative advice, even when it seems convincing. When you find you’re doubting yourself, counter these thoughts with positive, constructive thoughts like, “I have value and am not afraid to love my partner more.”
Voice therapy -- the process of saying these negative beliefs and criticisms out loud, then answering them with your real opinion -- can help give you more hope.
By taking a chance with someone and opening up to them, you might end up getting hurt emotionally, but you might also inspire them to be more honest and open with you, thus deepening your relationship.
Take comfort in the fact that anyone who uses your honesty and vulnerability to criticize or disparage you does not love you, and you should feel good about leaving them out of your life.
3-2. Grow as a person.
If you are unhappy with yourself, you will have difficulty loving others. Many people spend their lives trying to find the right partner and wondering why they cannot find someone they really love. Start by identifying your own values and what you enjoy doing, and then live your life in alignment with these things. By engaging in activities you enjoy, it will be easier for you to be more loving towards other people.
Get an education. Learning more can deepen your understanding of yourself and your place in the world. While you could go to college, a good place to start is the public library. Check out books on a variety of topics, splitting your time equally between fiction and nonfiction.
Gain fulfilling employment. When you are engaged in work you feel proud of, you’ll have many opportunities to build your own sense of self-worth as you rack up accomplishments at work.
3-3. Accept yourself.
Be honest about your likes and dislikes. Don’t pretend to like football, for instance, just to impress your family or friends. Know who you are and be honest about it with yourself, then share who you really are with others. If you have flaws, be conscious of them and try to improve yourself. Do not compare yourself with others. Instead, compare yourself only with your past self, and aim always for progress, rather than perfection.
3-4. Accept your feelings.
If you feel angry, hurt, or sad, be honest about it and tell your partner how you’re feeling. Don’t put up a front in order to pretend that something hurtful your partner said didn’t hurt you.]]
At the same time, be honest about feeling positive emotions like love, admiration, or affection.
No matter what you’re feeling, find positive ways to express it. If you’re feeling hurt, for instance, don’t call your partner names or throw their belongings out the sixth-story window. Instead, confront them directly and say, “I’m really upset by what you said. I think you were being unfair and I deserve an apology.”
4. Demonstrating You Care
4-1. Give your relationship your best shot.
Holding back positive, loving emotions prevents us from loving as much as we could and should. Sometimes in order to love as well as possible, we need to step out of our comfort zones. For instance, if your partner really feels loved when you hold his or her hand when walking around town, but you think holding hands is childish, try to change this belief and behavior within yourself. Showing that you love someone in new ways can deepen the relationship and allow you to be more loving.
4-2. Stay attentive to your partner’s wants and needs.
If you make the relationship all about you, it will be hard to know how to be more loving of your partner. Ask your partner each day after work or school how they’re feeling and how their day has been. Show your concern and listen to what they have to say. Ask relevant follow-up questions when they share interesting details with you.
4-3. Do little things your partner likes.
Everyone has different ideas about what actions demonstrate love. Ask your partner about what kinds of behavior they consider loving. For instance, perhaps your partner thinks holding the door open for him/her is loving, or feels really loved and close to you when you give them back rubs. Instead of just assuming that fixing your partner’s computer for them will demonstrate that you love them, ask them directly about what actions they consider loving.
4-4. Use pet names with your partner.
Many couples like to call each other “honey,” “sweetie,” or some equally cute term of endearment. You could even use an inside joke to give your partner a silly pet name that only they will understand.
4-5. Support your partner.
Showing support to your partner is obvious and important during times of crisis, such as when his or her parents pass away, or when they crash their car. However, you can also be more loving toward your partner by demonstrating some simple everyday forms of support.
When you partner wants to try a new sport, for instance, you should not make fun of them or criticize their effort to expand their horizons. That would not be a loving act. Instead, encourage them to pursue their interests as long as they remain, safe, healthy, and happy.
You can also offer emotional support your partner when your partner is having a bad day. Sometimes, showing you support your partner is as simple as listening to what they have to say and telling them you’re concerned about their plight.
5. Communicating in a Loving Way
5-1. Avoid accusatory language.
When expressing yourself to your partner, avoid “you” statements, as in “You never listen to me.” Instead, focus the conversation on your feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Use “I” statements, as in, “I wish we could find a way to talk more honestly with each other.” Communicating with “I” instead of “you” will reduce likelihood of conflict and increase the good, loving feelings you and your partner have for one another.
5-2. Make time to talk to your partner.
Everyone is busy. Finding time to communicate with your partner in a healthy, productive way can be difficult, even if you do sincerely love each other. To communicate in a more loving way, ensure that you make time for one another either at the start or end of each day (or any time in between). Sustained, structured time to simply sit down with your partner and talk about whatever you have on your minds can bring you closer together and help you become a more loving couple.
Don’t talk about anything difficult when either of you are tired. Being tired means you’ll feel more stressed and impatient during the conversation.
5-3. Focus on your partner during conversations.
Don’t look at your phone, computer, TV, or tablet. Instead, sit with them and stay focused on them and the conversation at hand. You could do this over dinner, in the living room, during a walk, or in some other venue. Wherever you choose to spend time talking to your partner, ensure you focus on them.
5-4. Resist the urge to win every fight.
When you and your partner are arguing, sometimes both of you inadvertently escalate the argument to the point where it becomes difficult to disengage. Both of you become more and more angry, and feel the need to win. This is an unhealthy communication pattern. Becoming conscious of it and working to change it will help you become more loving.
For instance, next time you and your partner are arguing, just say, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s not argue any more.”
Walking away makes you the bigger person. Don’t look at it as giving up. Letting things go takes strength and builds character. It says that you love the person you’re fighting with more than you love being right and winning.
Some battles are worth fighting. Don’t compromise on your principles or let your people walk all over you. Choose wisely when you decide to fight to the end.
Tips
Treat others as you want them to treat you.
Start looking for the beauty in the little details in life.
Learn to appreciate small acts of kindness everyday.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:21",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Sharing Your Love With the World\\n1-1. Serve others.\\nLearning to give your time and energy in service to a just cause does not only create a better world, it also provides great personal satisfaction and helps you be more loving. Identify a cause you believe in and locate a related volunteer organization in your area. For instance, if you’re passionate about animal rights and environmentalism, you could volunteer with your local animal shelter or conservation group.\\n1-2. Reflect on your personal mistakes.\\nTaking time to consider occasions in which you acted out of spite, hate, or anger. Thinking about these failures, both big and small, and recognizing that you were in the wrong, will lead you to act in a better, more loving way in the future. While you should not hold on to or obsess over your mistakes, it is important to reflect on them to discover how you can respond in more loving ways in the future.\\nFor instance, if you got angry at a coworker and yelled at him, think the situation over to find out both how you can make it right and how you can avoid repeating the same mistake next time.\\nPerhaps you’ll conclude that when you feel angry, instead of responding immediately, it’s best if you take five minutes to practice deep breathing exercises and calm down before confronting someone who frustrates you.\\n1-3. Surround yourself with people who are loving.\\nLove is infectious. When you are around people who are full of love for you, themselves, and others, you will have a hard time not becoming more loving yourself. Find friends who support you and minimize the time you spend with negative, spiteful individuals.\\n1-4. Practice forgiveness.\\nEven if someone blatantly disrespects and dislikes you, you should be prepared to forgive them. To be more loving, you must let go of hate and anger. This applies not only to others, but to yourself, as well. Don’t hold on to your failures. Learn from them, then let them go.\\nPicture your negative memories and thoughts as little red balloons. In your mind’s eye, imagine you’re letting them go and watching them float up into space until they are out of sight.\\n1-5. Write down positive experiences.\\nAt the end of each day, write down the best things that happened during the day in a journal. Writing down information makes you more likely to retain it, so by writing down positive experiences, you’ll be able to act in a more loving way. For instance, you might write, “My friend Abu is so kind. I am thankful to have a friend like him.” Actively making a note about your appreciation for your friends, family, and coworkers -- as well as nonhuman good things like animals, the sun, and earth -- can help you become more loving.\\n2. Understanding Love\\n2-1. Let go of fantasy love.\\nThis version of love is less focused on actions and more focused on an intangible feeling. While love does have an important emotional aspect, love is also about acting in a loving way. By recognizing that loving actions are an essential ingredient to real love, you can begin to let go of the notion that love exists only or primarily as a feeling.\\nThe fantasy of love dictates that when people love each other, they never fight or say anything hurtful. Letting go of this fantasy will also help you realize that even though you love your partner, they are not perfect. This realization will allow deeper intimacy as you begin to see your actual, not idealized, partner.\\n2-2. Evaluate your your actions.\\nOne of the big obstacles to becoming more loving is believing that you are already loving someone at an adequate level. However, your actions tell you a lot about what you really feel and think. Think about the way you act in order to discover if you are acting in a loving way.\\nEven if you believe, “I am a good partner and give lots of love to my partner,” upon reflection you might reconsider this belief. For instance, do you respect your partner’s wants and needs? Do you show him or her affection? Do you say kind things that encourage them to become the best person they can be?\\nCarefully reflect upon your behavior to discern whether or not you could be more loving. In order to avoid biasing the evaluation in your favor, ask for input from your partner. Ask him or her, “Does my behavior demonstrate that I love you?” Use their feedback when considering your actions.\\n2-3. Don’t expect anything in return.\\nIf you do something nice for your partner or someone else, don’t hold it against them by expecting them to do something nice for you in return. To be more loving, give without any thought of reward for yourself. Love should not involve keeping score on either conflicts and negative interactions, or on good things, gift-giving, and positive interactions.\\nIf you love someone, share with them all that you can within reason. However, don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. Ensure your needs are met, as well as your partner’s.\\n3. Working On You\\n3-1. Be more hopeful.\\nEveryone struggles with self-doubt and internal criticism. Perhaps you hear a small, critical voice attacking you or your partner. “She/He is a loser. You can do better,” or “This relationship will not work out. Being honest with her/him will only lead to disappointment” are examples of the kinds of lies we’ve internalized due to bad experiences in the past or critical parents or family members. Letting go of this baggage can help you become more loving.\\nDon’t listen to internal negative advice, even when it seems convincing. When you find you’re doubting yourself, counter these thoughts with positive, constructive thoughts like, “I have value and am not afraid to love my partner more.”\\nVoice therapy -- the process of saying these negative beliefs and criticisms out loud, then answering them with your real opinion -- can help give you more hope.\\nBy taking a chance with someone and opening up to them, you might end up getting hurt emotionally, but you might also inspire them to be more honest and open with you, thus deepening your relationship.\\nTake comfort in the fact that anyone who uses your honesty and vulnerability to criticize or disparage you does not love you, and you should feel good about leaving them out of your life.\\n3-2. Grow as a person.\\nIf you are unhappy with yourself, you will have difficulty loving others. Many people spend their lives trying to find the right partner and wondering why they cannot find someone they really love. Start by identifying your own values and what you enjoy doing, and then live your life in alignment with these things. By engaging in activities you enjoy, it will be easier for you to be more loving towards other people.\\nGet an education. Learning more can deepen your understanding of yourself and your place in the world. While you could go to college, a good place to start is the public library. Check out books on a variety of topics, splitting your time equally between fiction and nonfiction.\\nGain fulfilling employment. When you are engaged in work you feel proud of, you’ll have many opportunities to build your own sense of self-worth as you rack up accomplishments at work.\\n3-3. Accept yourself.\\nBe honest about your likes and dislikes. Don’t pretend to like football, for instance, just to impress your family or friends. Know who you are and be honest about it with yourself, then share who you really are with others. If you have flaws, be conscious of them and try to improve yourself. Do not compare yourself with others. Instead, compare yourself only with your past self, and aim always for progress, rather than perfection.\\n3-4. Accept your feelings.\\nIf you feel angry, hurt, or sad, be honest about it and tell your partner how you’re feeling. Don’t put up a front in order to pretend that something hurtful your partner said didn’t hurt you.]]\\nAt the same time, be honest about feeling positive emotions like love, admiration, or affection.\\nNo matter what you’re feeling, find positive ways to express it. If you’re feeling hurt, for instance, don’t call your partner names or throw their belongings out the sixth-story window. Instead, confront them directly and say, “I’m really upset by what you said. I think you were being unfair and I deserve an apology.”\\n4. Demonstrating You Care\\n4-1. Give your relationship your best shot.\\nHolding back positive, loving emotions prevents us from loving as much as we could and should. Sometimes in order to love as well as possible, we need to step out of our comfort zones. For instance, if your partner really feels loved when you hold his or her hand when walking around town, but you think holding hands is childish, try to change this belief and behavior within yourself. Showing that you love someone in new ways can deepen the relationship and allow you to be more loving.\\n4-2. Stay attentive to your partner’s wants and needs.\\nIf you make the relationship all about you, it will be hard to know how to be more loving of your partner. Ask your partner each day after work or school how they’re feeling and how their day has been. Show your concern and listen to what they have to say. Ask relevant follow-up questions when they share interesting details with you.\\n4-3. Do little things your partner likes.\\nEveryone has different ideas about what actions demonstrate love. Ask your partner about what kinds of behavior they consider loving. For instance, perhaps your partner thinks holding the door open for him/her is loving, or feels really loved and close to you when you give them back rubs. Instead of just assuming that fixing your partner’s computer for them will demonstrate that you love them, ask them directly about what actions they consider loving.\\n4-4. Use pet names with your partner.\\nMany couples like to call each other “honey,” “sweetie,” or some equally cute term of endearment. You could even use an inside joke to give your partner a silly pet name that only they will understand.\\n4-5. Support your partner.\\nShowing support to your partner is obvious and important during times of crisis, such as when his or her parents pass away, or when they crash their car. However, you can also be more loving toward your partner by demonstrating some simple everyday forms of support.\\nWhen you partner wants to try a new sport, for instance, you should not make fun of them or criticize their effort to expand their horizons. That would not be a loving act. Instead, encourage them to pursue their interests as long as they remain, safe, healthy, and happy.\\nYou can also offer emotional support your partner when your partner is having a bad day. Sometimes, showing you support your partner is as simple as listening to what they have to say and telling them you’re concerned about their plight.\\n5. Communicating in a Loving Way\\n5-1. Avoid accusatory language.\\nWhen expressing yourself to your partner, avoid “you” statements, as in “You never listen to me.” Instead, focus the conversation on your feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Use “I” statements, as in, “I wish we could find a way to talk more honestly with each other.” Communicating with “I” instead of “you” will reduce likelihood of conflict and increase the good, loving feelings you and your partner have for one another.\\n5-2. Make time to talk to your partner.\\nEveryone is busy. Finding time to communicate with your partner in a healthy, productive way can be difficult, even if you do sincerely love each other. To communicate in a more loving way, ensure that you make time for one another either at the start or end of each day (or any time in between). Sustained, structured time to simply sit down with your partner and talk about whatever you have on your minds can bring you closer together and help you become a more loving couple.\\nDon’t talk about anything difficult when either of you are tired. Being tired means you’ll feel more stressed and impatient during the conversation.\\n5-3. Focus on your partner during conversations.\\nDon’t look at your phone, computer, TV, or tablet. Instead, sit with them and stay focused on them and the conversation at hand. You could do this over dinner, in the living room, during a walk, or in some other venue. Wherever you choose to spend time talking to your partner, ensure you focus on them.\\n5-4. Resist the urge to win every fight.\\nWhen you and your partner are arguing, sometimes both of you inadvertently escalate the argument to the point where it becomes difficult to disengage. Both of you become more and more angry, and feel the need to win. This is an unhealthy communication pattern. Becoming conscious of it and working to change it will help you become more loving.\\nFor instance, next time you and your partner are arguing, just say, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s not argue any more.”\\nWalking away makes you the bigger person. Don’t look at it as giving up. Letting things go takes strength and builds character. It says that you love the person you’re fighting with more than you love being right and winning.\\nSome battles are worth fighting. Don’t compromise on your principles or let your people walk all over you. Choose wisely when you decide to fight to the end.\\nTips\\nTreat others as you want them to treat you.\\nStart looking for the beauty in the little details in life.\\nLearn to appreciate small acts of kindness everyday.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to be more loving? It’s easy! Staying positive and engaging in healthy communication are the keys to becoming more loving. Stamp out your inner, critical voice and pay more attention to the good things and people in your life, and you’ll soon be living a happier, more loving life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sharing Your Love With the World\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Serve others.\", \"描述\": \"Learning to give your time and energy in service to a just cause does not only create a better world, it also provides great personal satisfaction and helps you be more loving. Identify a cause you believe in and locate a related volunteer organization in your area. For instance, if you’re passionate about animal rights and environmentalism, you could volunteer with your local animal shelter or conservation group.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your personal mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Taking time to consider occasions in which you acted out of spite, hate, or anger. Thinking about these failures, both big and small, and recognizing that you were in the wrong, will lead you to act in a better, more loving way in the future. While you should not hold on to or obsess over your mistakes, it is important to reflect on them to discover how you can respond in more loving ways in the future.\\nFor instance, if you got angry at a coworker and yelled at him, think the situation over to find out both how you can make it right and how you can avoid repeating the same mistake next time.\\nPerhaps you’ll conclude that when you feel angry, instead of responding immediately, it’s best if you take five minutes to practice deep breathing exercises and calm down before confronting someone who frustrates you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with people who are loving.\", \"描述\": \"Love is infectious. When you are around people who are full of love for you, themselves, and others, you will have a hard time not becoming more loving yourself. Find friends who support you and minimize the time you spend with negative, spiteful individuals.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Even if someone blatantly disrespects and dislikes you, you should be prepared to forgive them. To be more loving, you must let go of hate and anger. This applies not only to others, but to yourself, as well. Don’t hold on to your failures. Learn from them, then let them go.\\nPicture your negative memories and thoughts as little red balloons. In your mind’s eye, imagine you’re letting them go and watching them float up into space until they are out of sight.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write down positive experiences.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of each day, write down the best things that happened during the day in a journal. Writing down information makes you more likely to retain it, so by writing down positive experiences, you’ll be able to act in a more loving way. For instance, you might write, “My friend Abu is so kind. I am thankful to have a friend like him.” Actively making a note about your appreciation for your friends, family, and coworkers -- as well as nonhuman good things like animals, the sun, and earth -- can help you become more loving.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understanding Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let go of fantasy love.\", \"描述\": \"This version of love is less focused on actions and more focused on an intangible feeling. While love does have an important emotional aspect, love is also about acting in a loving way. By recognizing that loving actions are an essential ingredient to real love, you can begin to let go of the notion that love exists only or primarily as a feeling.\\nThe fantasy of love dictates that when people love each other, they never fight or say anything hurtful. Letting go of this fantasy will also help you realize that even though you love your partner, they are not perfect. This realization will allow deeper intimacy as you begin to see your actual, not idealized, partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluate your your actions.\", \"描述\": \"One of the big obstacles to becoming more loving is believing that you are already loving someone at an adequate level. However, your actions tell you a lot about what you really feel and think. Think about the way you act in order to discover if you are acting in a loving way.\\nEven if you believe, “I am a good partner and give lots of love to my partner,” upon reflection you might reconsider this belief. For instance, do you respect your partner’s wants and needs? Do you show him or her affection? Do you say kind things that encourage them to become the best person they can be?\\nCarefully reflect upon your behavior to discern whether or not you could be more loving. In order to avoid biasing the evaluation in your favor, ask for input from your partner. Ask him or her, “Does my behavior demonstrate that I love you?” Use their feedback when considering your actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t expect anything in return.\", \"描述\": \"If you do something nice for your partner or someone else, don’t hold it against them by expecting them to do something nice for you in return. To be more loving, give without any thought of reward for yourself. Love should not involve keeping score on either conflicts and negative interactions, or on good things, gift-giving, and positive interactions.\\nIf you love someone, share with them all that you can within reason. However, don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. Ensure your needs are met, as well as your partner’s.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Working On You\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be more hopeful.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone struggles with self-doubt and internal criticism. Perhaps you hear a small, critical voice attacking you or your partner. “She/He is a loser. You can do better,” or “This relationship will not work out. Being honest with her/him will only lead to disappointment” are examples of the kinds of lies we’ve internalized due to bad experiences in the past or critical parents or family members. Letting go of this baggage can help you become more loving.\\nDon’t listen to internal negative advice, even when it seems convincing. When you find you’re doubting yourself, counter these thoughts with positive, constructive thoughts like, “I have value and am not afraid to love my partner more.”\\nVoice therapy -- the process of saying these negative beliefs and criticisms out loud, then answering them with your real opinion -- can help give you more hope.\\nBy taking a chance with someone and opening up to them, you might end up getting hurt emotionally, but you might also inspire them to be more honest and open with you, thus deepening your relationship.\\nTake comfort in the fact that anyone who uses your honesty and vulnerability to criticize or disparage you does not love you, and you should feel good about leaving them out of your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Grow as a person.\", \"描述\": \"If you are unhappy with yourself, you will have difficulty loving others. Many people spend their lives trying to find the right partner and wondering why they cannot find someone they really love. Start by identifying your own values and what you enjoy doing, and then live your life in alignment with these things. By engaging in activities you enjoy, it will be easier for you to be more loving towards other people.\\nGet an education. Learning more can deepen your understanding of yourself and your place in the world. While you could go to college, a good place to start is the public library. Check out books on a variety of topics, splitting your time equally between fiction and nonfiction.\\nGain fulfilling employment. When you are engaged in work you feel proud of, you’ll have many opportunities to build your own sense of self-worth as you rack up accomplishments at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Be honest about your likes and dislikes. Don’t pretend to like football, for instance, just to impress your family or friends. Know who you are and be honest about it with yourself, then share who you really are with others. If you have flaws, be conscious of them and try to improve yourself. Do not compare yourself with others. Instead, compare yourself only with your past self, and aim always for progress, rather than perfection.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel angry, hurt, or sad, be honest about it and tell your partner how you’re feeling. Don’t put up a front in order to pretend that something hurtful your partner said didn’t hurt you.]]\\nAt the same time, be honest about feeling positive emotions like love, admiration, or affection.\\nNo matter what you’re feeling, find positive ways to express it. If you’re feeling hurt, for instance, don’t call your partner names or throw their belongings out the sixth-story window. Instead, confront them directly and say, “I’m really upset by what you said. I think you were being unfair and I deserve an apology.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Demonstrating You Care\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your relationship your best shot.\", \"描述\": \"Holding back positive, loving emotions prevents us from loving as much as we could and should. Sometimes in order to love as well as possible, we need to step out of our comfort zones. For instance, if your partner really feels loved when you hold his or her hand when walking around town, but you think holding hands is childish, try to change this belief and behavior within yourself. Showing that you love someone in new ways can deepen the relationship and allow you to be more loving.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay attentive to your partner’s wants and needs.\", \"描述\": \"If you make the relationship all about you, it will be hard to know how to be more loving of your partner. Ask your partner each day after work or school how they’re feeling and how their day has been. Show your concern and listen to what they have to say. Ask relevant follow-up questions when they share interesting details with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do little things your partner likes.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has different ideas about what actions demonstrate love. Ask your partner about what kinds of behavior they consider loving. For instance, perhaps your partner thinks holding the door open for him/her is loving, or feels really loved and close to you when you give them back rubs. Instead of just assuming that fixing your partner’s computer for them will demonstrate that you love them, ask them directly about what actions they consider loving.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use pet names with your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Many couples like to call each other “honey,” “sweetie,” or some equally cute term of endearment. You could even use an inside joke to give your partner a silly pet name that only they will understand.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Showing support to your partner is obvious and important during times of crisis, such as when his or her parents pass away, or when they crash their car. However, you can also be more loving toward your partner by demonstrating some simple everyday forms of support.\\nWhen you partner wants to try a new sport, for instance, you should not make fun of them or criticize their effort to expand their horizons. That would not be a loving act. Instead, encourage them to pursue their interests as long as they remain, safe, healthy, and happy.\\nYou can also offer emotional support your partner when your partner is having a bad day. Sometimes, showing you support your partner is as simple as listening to what they have to say and telling them you’re concerned about their plight.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Communicating in a Loving Way\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid accusatory language.\", \"描述\": \"When expressing yourself to your partner, avoid “you” statements, as in “You never listen to me.” Instead, focus the conversation on your feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Use “I” statements, as in, “I wish we could find a way to talk more honestly with each other.” Communicating with “I” instead of “you” will reduce likelihood of conflict and increase the good, loving feelings you and your partner have for one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make time to talk to your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone is busy. Finding time to communicate with your partner in a healthy, productive way can be difficult, even if you do sincerely love each other. To communicate in a more loving way, ensure that you make time for one another either at the start or end of each day (or any time in between). Sustained, structured time to simply sit down with your partner and talk about whatever you have on your minds can bring you closer together and help you become a more loving couple.\\nDon’t talk about anything difficult when either of you are tired. Being tired means you’ll feel more stressed and impatient during the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on your partner during conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t look at your phone, computer, TV, or tablet. Instead, sit with them and stay focused on them and the conversation at hand. You could do this over dinner, in the living room, during a walk, or in some other venue. Wherever you choose to spend time talking to your partner, ensure you focus on them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to win every fight.\", \"描述\": \"When you and your partner are arguing, sometimes both of you inadvertently escalate the argument to the point where it becomes difficult to disengage. Both of you become more and more angry, and feel the need to win. This is an unhealthy communication pattern. Becoming conscious of it and working to change it will help you become more loving.\\nFor instance, next time you and your partner are arguing, just say, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s not argue any more.”\\nWalking away makes you the bigger person. Don’t look at it as giving up. Letting things go takes strength and builds character. It says that you love the person you’re fighting with more than you love being right and winning.\\nSome battles are worth fighting. Don’t compromise on your principles or let your people walk all over you. Choose wisely when you decide to fight to the end.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Treat others as you want them to treat you.\\n\", \"Start looking for the beauty in the little details in life.\\n\", \"Learn to appreciate small acts of kindness everyday.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,952 | How to Be More Mentally Aware | 1. Increasing Awareness
1-1. Be observant of your surroundings and senses.
If you want to be more mentally aware, the first step is becoming more observant of your surroundings. In your day-to-day activities, try to take stock of the environment, your senses, and your breathing.
Walk with purpose. Do not zone out when walking to the bus stop or to work or school. Pay attention to the movement of your body. Take in the scenery. What does your world look like? Smell like? Feel like? Watch the movement of those around you. Be aware of your feet connecting with the ground, your lungs taking in the air, the sense of your clothing against your body.
Paying attention to your own breathing can help increase your overall awareness. If you find yourself getting caught up in worry and zoning out of the moment, pause to think of your breaths. Distracting thoughts can be quelled by tuning into breathing as it's a natural and rhythmic bodily process.
Pay attention to all your senses. What does morning coffee smell like? Taste like? How does it feel against your tongue? How do you feel about starting off another day? As you drive to work, take stock of the sensation of the steering wheel against your hands, any songs on the radio, what the air smells like through your car's window. Try to stay in the current moment as much as possible by paying attention to your senses.
1-2. Eat mindfully.
For many, eating is an activity done in front of the TV or computer. This means you lose track of the sensation and taste of food. This can lead to overeating as well as eating itself becoming less pleasurable. Try to be mindful when you eat.
Do not attempt to engage in other activities when you eat. When you eat, eat and do not do anything else. Have regular meals at the table, away from the television.
It can also be helpful to eat slowly and pay attention to this bite. This will make food more satisfying to you and make you less likely to crave additional snacks or nourishment later on.
1-3. Pause between activities.
People often rush between day-to-day activities needlessly. This decreases mental awareness and can contribute to feelings of stress. Try to pause between activities. Let the phone ring a few times before it picks up. Take in the sound and think of who might be calling you and why. Feel the door handle for a moment before entering your home. Take short, mini-pauses to feel, observe, and consider the present moment throughout your day.
1-4. Listen.
Oftentimes, people get busy and do not listen as mindfully as they should. You end up planning activities in your head while listening, considering how you're going to respond, or making judgment's on the speaker's character. Instead of doing this, listen as fully as possible. Try to focus only on understanding the words the speaker is saying. Trust that, when it's your turn to speak, you'll be able to think of an appropriate response.
1-5. Practice mindfulness.
Paying attention the present moment, as well as your own thoughts and feelings, is referred to as mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness throughout your daily activities can help increase your overall mental awareness.
The first step to mindfulness is simply, as has been discussed above, being aware of the present moment. However, you should also strive to be aware of your own thoughts. Many people find it helpful to have a set time period each day to simply observe your own thoughts. Allow your mind to wander and any worries, concerns, or interests to creep in uninterrupted. Do not try to judge or control your thoughts. Simply be aware of what you're thinking.
It can sometimes be helpful to silently name thoughts as they come in. This can help you address negative thoughts without engaging in them or trying to talk yourself out of them. Simply think to yourself "Here is my worry that I'm not as successful as I should be" or "Here is my concern that my friends don't really like me."
1-6. Engage in activities that can increase mindfulness.
Certain activities can increase mental awareness and mindfulness. Look for classes in your area that teach such practices. You can also practice some activities at home on your own.
Meditation is the process of sitting silently and tuning into your own body and sensations. Many people find guided tutorials online or in books that help them practice meditation. You can also take meditation classes.
Yoga is an exercise routine where you move through a series of postures designed to stretch and flex the body. Not only does yoga have benefits for your physical health, it places emphasis on awareness of the present moment. You can take classes at a local yoga studio or find guided yoga routines online.
Tai chi is somewhat similar to yoga in that participants are guided through a series of slow movements. You will be asked to pay attention to your body and breathing. Like yoga, you can practice tai chi at home with guided routines or take classes at a local studio.
2. Reevaluating Yourself
2-1. Consider your life story.
Whether consciously or not, everyone lives by a narrative. The story you tell yourself about your life and experiences matters when it comes to mental awareness. Your understanding of your personal narrative has an impact on your current actions and future goals.
Personal mental narratives can be constricting in some ways. For example, you may learn to see yourself as a victim of circumstance. Inaccurate feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can result. In order to become more mentally aware, periodically reevaluate your mental narrative.
Look back on your earliest memories. What people, events, and experiences had the greatest impact on you? Why? How do you frame setback in your life narrative? What times in your life did you feel most emotionally and mentally stimulated? Answering these questions can help you see places where negative thought patterns may be tied to an inaccurate view of your life story.
2-2. Reevaluate your core beliefs.
Everyone has core beliefs that they try to live by. Core beliefs are developed both by yourself and by your circumstances. How you behave is often linked to your belief system. Evaluating your belief system can help you become more mentally aware of your own behavior.
Identify your core beliefs. Try to write down a list of five values you live by. Then, write down assumptions you also believe. For example, what do you think of other people? Do you feel you can be trusting of others? Why or why not? Think about abstract values. What do you think it means to be a good person? A bad person? Do you react to people in a particular way because they defy your core belief system?
Look for examples of black and white thinking in your core beliefs. These types of thought patterns can subtly affect how you interact with other people. You may be unaware of the impact you have on others as a result. Maybe you believe lying is wrong, regardless of the situation. You may then have a tendency to overreact to white lies told to spare your feelings. You may also be too blunt around other people, giving them your version of the truth instead of modifying your response to be more tactful.
Look for black and white core beliefs about yourself. Oftentimes, people do not try new things or push themselves hard enough enough to succeed because of inaccurate and self-defeating thoughts. For example, maybe a big rejection earlier in life has led you to convince yourself you'll never find romantic love. You may feel you're not lovable in that way and have stopped dating or seeking out companionship. Therefore, your core belief about yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2-3. Seek honest feedback about yourself.
People who are most self aware do not fear criticism. In fact, they seek out honest feedback in order to improve themselves and their behavior. If you want to increase your level of self awareness, seek to do the same.
For example, if you're having trouble getting along with someone at work, you could take your concerns to HR. Instead of blaming your co-worker, ask something like "What can I do to get along better with Mike?" This way, you're not leaving the blame on the other person.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/37\/Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\/v4-460px-Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/37\/Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\/aid469887-v4-728px-Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Everyone has blind spots, that is traits others see in them but they do not see in themselves. Ask trusted friends and family members to be honest about your blind spots. What traits about yourself are you largely unaware of? How do these traits affect your behavior?
Many people become defensive when confronting blind spots, especially when blinds spots challenge are inherent sense of identity or force us to confront negative behavioral patterns. Try to let go of your inclination to go on the defense when seeking feedback. Remember, you are striving to become a more mature, mentally aware person. Even if parts of the journey are hard, it will be worth it.
2-4. Take responsibility for your behavior, thoughts, and feelings.
One trait of mentally aware people is their ability to accept realistic responsibility for their actions. Try to take responsibility for your own thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.
No one is going to make things better for you. If you want to improve a situation, you must take responsibility and do so yourself. Mentally aware people have long since accepted this fact. Be willing to admit to your mistakes and shortcomings.
Keep in mind mentally aware people accept reasonable responsibility. Just as it can be bad to refuse to acknowledge your ability to change a situation, you need to make peace with the fact some things cannot be changed by your actions alone. Let go of inevitable setbacks and unavoidable circumstances that temporarily alter your path. If it rains all day and you want to go for a run, for example, accept that you'll have to catch up on your workout tomorrow.
2-5. Practice self care.
Mentally aware people understand the need for self care. In order to be mentally aware of yourself and your surroundings, you need to care for your body and mind.
Self care involves engaging in simple rituals that are often overlooked during the course of a busy day. Get enough sleep at night. Eat three meals a day. Make time for exercise.
Make time for leisure. Relaxation is important to your mental well-being. Incorporate an hour of you time into your daily schedule. Take a warm bath. Go for a long walk. Spend time with your pets. Read a book.
3. Disengaging with Negative Thought Patterns
3-1. Do not take things personally.
Personalizing setbacks can result in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. People who are mentally aware tend to accept the things they cannot change. Strive to do so yourself.
For instance, if someone is being rude to you, try showering them with kindness and diplomacy instead of taking their words personally.
Unconsciously, you probably personalize circumstances quite a bit. Try to catch yourself personalizing throughout the day. For example, say you get to the office early one morning and a normally chatty co-worker gives you a hasty "Hello" without stopping to make small talk. You may immediately start blaming yourself. Did you do something wrong? Does this person not like you? You are personalizing a situation that may have nothing to do with you.
When you catch yourself in these moments, try to pull yourself out of your head for a moment. Ask yourself, "In all likelihood, does this have anything to do with me?" Take the co-worker example. Maybe she was running late for a meeting. Maybe she isn't feeling well. Maybe there's something going on in her personal life that's causing her stress. Chances are, her quiet nature this morning has nothing to do with you.
3-2. Stop forecasting.
Without realizing it, people often make predictions about the future. Mentally aware people are able to accept they have no way of knowing what the future holds.
Keep in mind you cannot control what is yet to come. The only moments you have control over are those that occur in the present. Try to keep your mind focused on the present moment and do not let your mind wander in "What if?" scenarios.
When your mind lingers in the future, you'll end up making critical mistakes in the present. If you spend your work day daydreaming about how you'll one day run the company, you're not engaged with the work at hand. You'll end up doing a sloppy job at work and your dream of success will not come into fruition.
3-3. Let go of the past.
Holding onto the past can result in disengaging from the present reality. If you're wishing things could go back to a former state, let go of this wish. Accept and be aware of the present moment instead.
Mentally aware people understand the past, however great it may have been, no longer exists. They do not waste time longing for times gone by but instead strive to make the best of the present moment, even if the situation is not ideal.
Reminiscing about the good times can be fun. However, keep in mind that you may miss positive aspects of the present moment by romanticizing the past. Appreciate your memories but do not let them tether you.
4. Finding Balance
4-1. Write expressively.
Mentally aware people are capable of getting out of their head and appreciating the world around them. One way to do so is writing expressively. Purging your inner thoughts on the page can help you engage in the outer world.
Keep a diary. Make a nightly ritual of writing down any thoughts, fears, or hopes you have about your life at the moment. Be honest and use as much detail as possible.
By practicing expressive writing on a regular basis, many people are able to disengage with troubling or persistent thought patterns. This can help you become mentally aware and appreciative of the present.
4-2. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Mental awareness is not something you can achieve solely on your own. Surround yourself with people that are self aware, strong, and supportive. Seek out the company of friends and family members that give good advice and seem content with their lives.
4-3. Accept feelings, positive and negative.
Mentally aware people accept things they cannot change, including feelings. Acknowledge that sometimes life will be painful and stressful. Accept that both negative and positive feelings are a normal part of life.
Avoidance can be appealing when we're feeling down. However, certain habits people use to disengage in negative thoughts can be more harmful than helpful. Things like drinking and drug use, for example, should not be used to avoid negativity.
Instead of trying to cope through avoidance, try to take a moment to acknowledge the feeling the next time you're sad, in pain, or stressed. Say to yourself, "I am not feeling good right now, but this is a normal part of life and it will pass over soon." Mentally aware people embrace their emotions on all levels, positive and negative.
4-4. Learn to live with uncertainty.
Mentally aware people accept they do not always have all the answers. Sometimes, acknowledging that you don't understand a situation, feeling, or person is better than seeking an inaccurate explanation or assumption. Accept that life is sometimes confusing and answers are not always apparent.
People often engage in behaviors to try to avoid dealing with uncertainty. These include seeking excessive reassurance from others, list-making, double-checking, procrastination, and avoiding situations. Keep a diary of how you avoid coping with uncertainty head on. Write down any activities you engaged to avoid uncertainty.
Once you have an idea of how you avoid uncertainty, try engaging in behaviors that allow you to practice living with uncertainty. For example, if you excessively double check e-mails before sending them out, try sending a few e-mails out each day without re-reading them before hitting "send." Leave your house without double checking to make sure you locked the door.
Keep up with your diary. Write down how you felt about, say, sending an e-mail without reading it over. Writing about your feelings can help you cope with them.
Keep practicing. It can take awhile to feel comfortable with uncertain aspects of life. Move from small stakes activities, like leaving without double checking the door is locked, to activities that are more difficult for you. For example say you dislike going to parties as you're uncertain about what precisely will occur in social situations. Force yourself to go to a party by yourself or attend a social gathering you would normally avoid.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Increasing Awareness\\n1-1. Be observant of your surroundings and senses.\\nIf you want to be more mentally aware, the first step is becoming more observant of your surroundings. In your day-to-day activities, try to take stock of the environment, your senses, and your breathing.\\nWalk with purpose. Do not zone out when walking to the bus stop or to work or school. Pay attention to the movement of your body. Take in the scenery. What does your world look like? Smell like? Feel like? Watch the movement of those around you. Be aware of your feet connecting with the ground, your lungs taking in the air, the sense of your clothing against your body.\\nPaying attention to your own breathing can help increase your overall awareness. If you find yourself getting caught up in worry and zoning out of the moment, pause to think of your breaths. Distracting thoughts can be quelled by tuning into breathing as it's a natural and rhythmic bodily process.\\nPay attention to all your senses. What does morning coffee smell like? Taste like? How does it feel against your tongue? How do you feel about starting off another day? As you drive to work, take stock of the sensation of the steering wheel against your hands, any songs on the radio, what the air smells like through your car's window. Try to stay in the current moment as much as possible by paying attention to your senses.\\n1-2. Eat mindfully.\\nFor many, eating is an activity done in front of the TV or computer. This means you lose track of the sensation and taste of food. This can lead to overeating as well as eating itself becoming less pleasurable. Try to be mindful when you eat.\\nDo not attempt to engage in other activities when you eat. When you eat, eat and do not do anything else. Have regular meals at the table, away from the television.\\nIt can also be helpful to eat slowly and pay attention to this bite. This will make food more satisfying to you and make you less likely to crave additional snacks or nourishment later on.\\n1-3. Pause between activities.\\nPeople often rush between day-to-day activities needlessly. This decreases mental awareness and can contribute to feelings of stress. Try to pause between activities. Let the phone ring a few times before it picks up. Take in the sound and think of who might be calling you and why. Feel the door handle for a moment before entering your home. Take short, mini-pauses to feel, observe, and consider the present moment throughout your day.\\n1-4. Listen.\\nOftentimes, people get busy and do not listen as mindfully as they should. You end up planning activities in your head while listening, considering how you're going to respond, or making judgment's on the speaker's character. Instead of doing this, listen as fully as possible. Try to focus only on understanding the words the speaker is saying. Trust that, when it's your turn to speak, you'll be able to think of an appropriate response.\\n1-5. Practice mindfulness.\\nPaying attention the present moment, as well as your own thoughts and feelings, is referred to as mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness throughout your daily activities can help increase your overall mental awareness.\\nThe first step to mindfulness is simply, as has been discussed above, being aware of the present moment. However, you should also strive to be aware of your own thoughts. Many people find it helpful to have a set time period each day to simply observe your own thoughts. Allow your mind to wander and any worries, concerns, or interests to creep in uninterrupted. Do not try to judge or control your thoughts. Simply be aware of what you're thinking.\\nIt can sometimes be helpful to silently name thoughts as they come in. This can help you address negative thoughts without engaging in them or trying to talk yourself out of them. Simply think to yourself \\\"Here is my worry that I'm not as successful as I should be\\\" or \\\"Here is my concern that my friends don't really like me.\\\"\\n1-6. Engage in activities that can increase mindfulness.\\nCertain activities can increase mental awareness and mindfulness. Look for classes in your area that teach such practices. You can also practice some activities at home on your own.\\nMeditation is the process of sitting silently and tuning into your own body and sensations. Many people find guided tutorials online or in books that help them practice meditation. You can also take meditation classes.\\nYoga is an exercise routine where you move through a series of postures designed to stretch and flex the body. Not only does yoga have benefits for your physical health, it places emphasis on awareness of the present moment. You can take classes at a local yoga studio or find guided yoga routines online.\\nTai chi is somewhat similar to yoga in that participants are guided through a series of slow movements. You will be asked to pay attention to your body and breathing. Like yoga, you can practice tai chi at home with guided routines or take classes at a local studio.\\n2. Reevaluating Yourself\\n2-1. Consider your life story.\\nWhether consciously or not, everyone lives by a narrative. The story you tell yourself about your life and experiences matters when it comes to mental awareness. Your understanding of your personal narrative has an impact on your current actions and future goals.\\nPersonal mental narratives can be constricting in some ways. For example, you may learn to see yourself as a victim of circumstance. Inaccurate feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can result. In order to become more mentally aware, periodically reevaluate your mental narrative.\\nLook back on your earliest memories. What people, events, and experiences had the greatest impact on you? Why? How do you frame setback in your life narrative? What times in your life did you feel most emotionally and mentally stimulated? Answering these questions can help you see places where negative thought patterns may be tied to an inaccurate view of your life story.\\n2-2. Reevaluate your core beliefs.\\nEveryone has core beliefs that they try to live by. Core beliefs are developed both by yourself and by your circumstances. How you behave is often linked to your belief system. Evaluating your belief system can help you become more mentally aware of your own behavior.\\nIdentify your core beliefs. Try to write down a list of five values you live by. Then, write down assumptions you also believe. For example, what do you think of other people? Do you feel you can be trusting of others? Why or why not? Think about abstract values. What do you think it means to be a good person? A bad person? Do you react to people in a particular way because they defy your core belief system?\\nLook for examples of black and white thinking in your core beliefs. These types of thought patterns can subtly affect how you interact with other people. You may be unaware of the impact you have on others as a result. Maybe you believe lying is wrong, regardless of the situation. You may then have a tendency to overreact to white lies told to spare your feelings. You may also be too blunt around other people, giving them your version of the truth instead of modifying your response to be more tactful.\\nLook for black and white core beliefs about yourself. Oftentimes, people do not try new things or push themselves hard enough enough to succeed because of inaccurate and self-defeating thoughts. For example, maybe a big rejection earlier in life has led you to convince yourself you'll never find romantic love. You may feel you're not lovable in that way and have stopped dating or seeking out companionship. Therefore, your core belief about yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.\\n2-3. Seek honest feedback about yourself.\\nPeople who are most self aware do not fear criticism. In fact, they seek out honest feedback in order to improve themselves and their behavior. If you want to increase your level of self awareness, seek to do the same.\\nFor example, if you're having trouble getting along with someone at work, you could take your concerns to HR. Instead of blaming your co-worker, ask something like \\\"What can I do to get along better with Mike?\\\" This way, you're not leaving the blame on the other person.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/37\\\\/Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/37\\\\/Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\\/aid469887-v4-728px-Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>\\\\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\\\\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nEveryone has blind spots, that is traits others see in them but they do not see in themselves. Ask trusted friends and family members to be honest about your blind spots. What traits about yourself are you largely unaware of? How do these traits affect your behavior?\\nMany people become defensive when confronting blind spots, especially when blinds spots challenge are inherent sense of identity or force us to confront negative behavioral patterns. Try to let go of your inclination to go on the defense when seeking feedback. Remember, you are striving to become a more mature, mentally aware person. Even if parts of the journey are hard, it will be worth it.\\n2-4. Take responsibility for your behavior, thoughts, and feelings.\\nOne trait of mentally aware people is their ability to accept realistic responsibility for their actions. Try to take responsibility for your own thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.\\nNo one is going to make things better for you. If you want to improve a situation, you must take responsibility and do so yourself. Mentally aware people have long since accepted this fact. Be willing to admit to your mistakes and shortcomings.\\nKeep in mind mentally aware people accept reasonable responsibility. Just as it can be bad to refuse to acknowledge your ability to change a situation, you need to make peace with the fact some things cannot be changed by your actions alone. Let go of inevitable setbacks and unavoidable circumstances that temporarily alter your path. If it rains all day and you want to go for a run, for example, accept that you'll have to catch up on your workout tomorrow.\\n2-5. Practice self care.\\nMentally aware people understand the need for self care. In order to be mentally aware of yourself and your surroundings, you need to care for your body and mind.\\nSelf care involves engaging in simple rituals that are often overlooked during the course of a busy day. Get enough sleep at night. Eat three meals a day. Make time for exercise.\\nMake time for leisure. Relaxation is important to your mental well-being. Incorporate an hour of you time into your daily schedule. Take a warm bath. Go for a long walk. Spend time with your pets. Read a book.\\n3. Disengaging with Negative Thought Patterns\\n3-1. Do not take things personally.\\nPersonalizing setbacks can result in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. People who are mentally aware tend to accept the things they cannot change. Strive to do so yourself.\\nFor instance, if someone is being rude to you, try showering them with kindness and diplomacy instead of taking their words personally.\\nUnconsciously, you probably personalize circumstances quite a bit. Try to catch yourself personalizing throughout the day. For example, say you get to the office early one morning and a normally chatty co-worker gives you a hasty \\\"Hello\\\" without stopping to make small talk. You may immediately start blaming yourself. Did you do something wrong? Does this person not like you? You are personalizing a situation that may have nothing to do with you.\\nWhen you catch yourself in these moments, try to pull yourself out of your head for a moment. Ask yourself, \\\"In all likelihood, does this have anything to do with me?\\\" Take the co-worker example. Maybe she was running late for a meeting. Maybe she isn't feeling well. Maybe there's something going on in her personal life that's causing her stress. Chances are, her quiet nature this morning has nothing to do with you.\\n3-2. Stop forecasting.\\nWithout realizing it, people often make predictions about the future. Mentally aware people are able to accept they have no way of knowing what the future holds.\\nKeep in mind you cannot control what is yet to come. The only moments you have control over are those that occur in the present. Try to keep your mind focused on the present moment and do not let your mind wander in \\\"What if?\\\" scenarios.\\nWhen your mind lingers in the future, you'll end up making critical mistakes in the present. If you spend your work day daydreaming about how you'll one day run the company, you're not engaged with the work at hand. You'll end up doing a sloppy job at work and your dream of success will not come into fruition.\\n3-3. Let go of the past.\\nHolding onto the past can result in disengaging from the present reality. If you're wishing things could go back to a former state, let go of this wish. Accept and be aware of the present moment instead.\\nMentally aware people understand the past, however great it may have been, no longer exists. They do not waste time longing for times gone by but instead strive to make the best of the present moment, even if the situation is not ideal.\\nReminiscing about the good times can be fun. However, keep in mind that you may miss positive aspects of the present moment by romanticizing the past. Appreciate your memories but do not let them tether you.\\n4. Finding Balance\\n4-1. Write expressively.\\nMentally aware people are capable of getting out of their head and appreciating the world around them. One way to do so is writing expressively. Purging your inner thoughts on the page can help you engage in the outer world.\\nKeep a diary. Make a nightly ritual of writing down any thoughts, fears, or hopes you have about your life at the moment. Be honest and use as much detail as possible.\\nBy practicing expressive writing on a regular basis, many people are able to disengage with troubling or persistent thought patterns. This can help you become mentally aware and appreciative of the present.\\n4-2. Surround yourself with supportive people.\\nMental awareness is not something you can achieve solely on your own. Surround yourself with people that are self aware, strong, and supportive. Seek out the company of friends and family members that give good advice and seem content with their lives.\\n4-3. Accept feelings, positive and negative.\\nMentally aware people accept things they cannot change, including feelings. Acknowledge that sometimes life will be painful and stressful. Accept that both negative and positive feelings are a normal part of life.\\nAvoidance can be appealing when we're feeling down. However, certain habits people use to disengage in negative thoughts can be more harmful than helpful. Things like drinking and drug use, for example, should not be used to avoid negativity.\\nInstead of trying to cope through avoidance, try to take a moment to acknowledge the feeling the next time you're sad, in pain, or stressed. Say to yourself, \\\"I am not feeling good right now, but this is a normal part of life and it will pass over soon.\\\" Mentally aware people embrace their emotions on all levels, positive and negative.\\n4-4. Learn to live with uncertainty.\\nMentally aware people accept they do not always have all the answers. Sometimes, acknowledging that you don't understand a situation, feeling, or person is better than seeking an inaccurate explanation or assumption. Accept that life is sometimes confusing and answers are not always apparent.\\nPeople often engage in behaviors to try to avoid dealing with uncertainty. These include seeking excessive reassurance from others, list-making, double-checking, procrastination, and avoiding situations. Keep a diary of how you avoid coping with uncertainty head on. Write down any activities you engaged to avoid uncertainty.\\nOnce you have an idea of how you avoid uncertainty, try engaging in behaviors that allow you to practice living with uncertainty. For example, if you excessively double check e-mails before sending them out, try sending a few e-mails out each day without re-reading them before hitting \\\"send.\\\" Leave your house without double checking to make sure you locked the door.\\nKeep up with your diary. Write down how you felt about, say, sending an e-mail without reading it over. Writing about your feelings can help you cope with them.\\nKeep practicing. It can take awhile to feel comfortable with uncertain aspects of life. Move from small stakes activities, like leaving without double checking the door is locked, to activities that are more difficult for you. For example say you dislike going to parties as you're uncertain about what precisely will occur in social situations. Force yourself to go to a party by yourself or attend a social gathering you would normally avoid.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many people long to be more mentally aware of themselves and the world around them. Cultivating mental awareness takes time and practice. Reevaluate yourself and your values, avoid negative thought patterns, and take steps to find balance in day-to-day life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Increasing Awareness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be observant of your surroundings and senses.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be more mentally aware, the first step is becoming more observant of your surroundings. In your day-to-day activities, try to take stock of the environment, your senses, and your breathing.\\nWalk with purpose. Do not zone out when walking to the bus stop or to work or school. Pay attention to the movement of your body. Take in the scenery. What does your world look like? Smell like? Feel like? Watch the movement of those around you. Be aware of your feet connecting with the ground, your lungs taking in the air, the sense of your clothing against your body.\\nPaying attention to your own breathing can help increase your overall awareness. If you find yourself getting caught up in worry and zoning out of the moment, pause to think of your breaths. Distracting thoughts can be quelled by tuning into breathing as it's a natural and rhythmic bodily process.\\nPay attention to all your senses. What does morning coffee smell like? Taste like? How does it feel against your tongue? How do you feel about starting off another day? As you drive to work, take stock of the sensation of the steering wheel against your hands, any songs on the radio, what the air smells like through your car's window. Try to stay in the current moment as much as possible by paying attention to your senses.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat mindfully.\", \"描述\": \"For many, eating is an activity done in front of the TV or computer. This means you lose track of the sensation and taste of food. This can lead to overeating as well as eating itself becoming less pleasurable. Try to be mindful when you eat.\\nDo not attempt to engage in other activities when you eat. When you eat, eat and do not do anything else. Have regular meals at the table, away from the television.\\nIt can also be helpful to eat slowly and pay attention to this bite. This will make food more satisfying to you and make you less likely to crave additional snacks or nourishment later on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pause between activities.\", \"描述\": \"People often rush between day-to-day activities needlessly. This decreases mental awareness and can contribute to feelings of stress. Try to pause between activities. Let the phone ring a few times before it picks up. Take in the sound and think of who might be calling you and why. Feel the door handle for a moment before entering your home. Take short, mini-pauses to feel, observe, and consider the present moment throughout your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"Oftentimes, people get busy and do not listen as mindfully as they should. You end up planning activities in your head while listening, considering how you're going to respond, or making judgment's on the speaker's character. Instead of doing this, listen as fully as possible. Try to focus only on understanding the words the speaker is saying. Trust that, when it's your turn to speak, you'll be able to think of an appropriate response.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Paying attention the present moment, as well as your own thoughts and feelings, is referred to as mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness throughout your daily activities can help increase your overall mental awareness.\\nThe first step to mindfulness is simply, as has been discussed above, being aware of the present moment. However, you should also strive to be aware of your own thoughts. Many people find it helpful to have a set time period each day to simply observe your own thoughts. Allow your mind to wander and any worries, concerns, or interests to creep in uninterrupted. Do not try to judge or control your thoughts. Simply be aware of what you're thinking.\\nIt can sometimes be helpful to silently name thoughts as they come in. This can help you address negative thoughts without engaging in them or trying to talk yourself out of them. Simply think to yourself \\\"Here is my worry that I'm not as successful as I should be\\\" or \\\"Here is my concern that my friends don't really like me.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Engage in activities that can increase mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Certain activities can increase mental awareness and mindfulness. Look for classes in your area that teach such practices. You can also practice some activities at home on your own.\\nMeditation is the process of sitting silently and tuning into your own body and sensations. Many people find guided tutorials online or in books that help them practice meditation. You can also take meditation classes.\\nYoga is an exercise routine where you move through a series of postures designed to stretch and flex the body. Not only does yoga have benefits for your physical health, it places emphasis on awareness of the present moment. You can take classes at a local yoga studio or find guided yoga routines online.\\nTai chi is somewhat similar to yoga in that participants are guided through a series of slow movements. You will be asked to pay attention to your body and breathing. Like yoga, you can practice tai chi at home with guided routines or take classes at a local studio.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reevaluating Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider your life story.\", \"描述\": \"Whether consciously or not, everyone lives by a narrative. The story you tell yourself about your life and experiences matters when it comes to mental awareness. Your understanding of your personal narrative has an impact on your current actions and future goals.\\nPersonal mental narratives can be constricting in some ways. For example, you may learn to see yourself as a victim of circumstance. Inaccurate feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can result. In order to become more mentally aware, periodically reevaluate your mental narrative.\\nLook back on your earliest memories. What people, events, and experiences had the greatest impact on you? Why? How do you frame setback in your life narrative? What times in your life did you feel most emotionally and mentally stimulated? Answering these questions can help you see places where negative thought patterns may be tied to an inaccurate view of your life story.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reevaluate your core beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has core beliefs that they try to live by. Core beliefs are developed both by yourself and by your circumstances. How you behave is often linked to your belief system. Evaluating your belief system can help you become more mentally aware of your own behavior.\\nIdentify your core beliefs. Try to write down a list of five values you live by. Then, write down assumptions you also believe. For example, what do you think of other people? Do you feel you can be trusting of others? Why or why not? Think about abstract values. What do you think it means to be a good person? A bad person? Do you react to people in a particular way because they defy your core belief system?\\nLook for examples of black and white thinking in your core beliefs. These types of thought patterns can subtly affect how you interact with other people. You may be unaware of the impact you have on others as a result. Maybe you believe lying is wrong, regardless of the situation. You may then have a tendency to overreact to white lies told to spare your feelings. You may also be too blunt around other people, giving them your version of the truth instead of modifying your response to be more tactful.\\nLook for black and white core beliefs about yourself. Oftentimes, people do not try new things or push themselves hard enough enough to succeed because of inaccurate and self-defeating thoughts. For example, maybe a big rejection earlier in life has led you to convince yourself you'll never find romantic love. You may feel you're not lovable in that way and have stopped dating or seeking out companionship. Therefore, your core belief about yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek honest feedback about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"People who are most self aware do not fear criticism. In fact, they seek out honest feedback in order to improve themselves and their behavior. If you want to increase your level of self awareness, seek to do the same.\\nFor example, if you're having trouble getting along with someone at work, you could take your concerns to HR. Instead of blaming your co-worker, ask something like \\\"What can I do to get along better with Mike?\\\" This way, you're not leaving the blame on the other person.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/37\\\\/Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\\/v4-460px-Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/3\\\\/37\\\\/Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\\/aid469887-v4-728px-Be-More-Mentally-Aware-Step-9.jpeg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>\\\\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\\\\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nEveryone has blind spots, that is traits others see in them but they do not see in themselves. Ask trusted friends and family members to be honest about your blind spots. What traits about yourself are you largely unaware of? How do these traits affect your behavior?\\nMany people become defensive when confronting blind spots, especially when blinds spots challenge are inherent sense of identity or force us to confront negative behavioral patterns. Try to let go of your inclination to go on the defense when seeking feedback. Remember, you are striving to become a more mature, mentally aware person. Even if parts of the journey are hard, it will be worth it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your behavior, thoughts, and feelings.\", \"描述\": \"One trait of mentally aware people is their ability to accept realistic responsibility for their actions. Try to take responsibility for your own thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.\\nNo one is going to make things better for you. If you want to improve a situation, you must take responsibility and do so yourself. Mentally aware people have long since accepted this fact. Be willing to admit to your mistakes and shortcomings.\\nKeep in mind mentally aware people accept reasonable responsibility. Just as it can be bad to refuse to acknowledge your ability to change a situation, you need to make peace with the fact some things cannot be changed by your actions alone. Let go of inevitable setbacks and unavoidable circumstances that temporarily alter your path. If it rains all day and you want to go for a run, for example, accept that you'll have to catch up on your workout tomorrow.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice self care.\", \"描述\": \"Mentally aware people understand the need for self care. In order to be mentally aware of yourself and your surroundings, you need to care for your body and mind.\\nSelf care involves engaging in simple rituals that are often overlooked during the course of a busy day. Get enough sleep at night. Eat three meals a day. Make time for exercise.\\nMake time for leisure. Relaxation is important to your mental well-being. Incorporate an hour of you time into your daily schedule. Take a warm bath. Go for a long walk. Spend time with your pets. Read a book.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Disengaging with Negative Thought Patterns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not take things personally.\", \"描述\": \"Personalizing setbacks can result in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. People who are mentally aware tend to accept the things they cannot change. Strive to do so yourself.\\nFor instance, if someone is being rude to you, try showering them with kindness and diplomacy instead of taking their words personally.\\nUnconsciously, you probably personalize circumstances quite a bit. Try to catch yourself personalizing throughout the day. For example, say you get to the office early one morning and a normally chatty co-worker gives you a hasty \\\"Hello\\\" without stopping to make small talk. You may immediately start blaming yourself. Did you do something wrong? Does this person not like you? You are personalizing a situation that may have nothing to do with you.\\nWhen you catch yourself in these moments, try to pull yourself out of your head for a moment. Ask yourself, \\\"In all likelihood, does this have anything to do with me?\\\" Take the co-worker example. Maybe she was running late for a meeting. Maybe she isn't feeling well. Maybe there's something going on in her personal life that's causing her stress. Chances are, her quiet nature this morning has nothing to do with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop forecasting.\", \"描述\": \"Without realizing it, people often make predictions about the future. Mentally aware people are able to accept they have no way of knowing what the future holds.\\nKeep in mind you cannot control what is yet to come. The only moments you have control over are those that occur in the present. Try to keep your mind focused on the present moment and do not let your mind wander in \\\"What if?\\\" scenarios.\\nWhen your mind lingers in the future, you'll end up making critical mistakes in the present. If you spend your work day daydreaming about how you'll one day run the company, you're not engaged with the work at hand. You'll end up doing a sloppy job at work and your dream of success will not come into fruition.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let go of the past.\", \"描述\": \"Holding onto the past can result in disengaging from the present reality. If you're wishing things could go back to a former state, let go of this wish. Accept and be aware of the present moment instead.\\nMentally aware people understand the past, however great it may have been, no longer exists. They do not waste time longing for times gone by but instead strive to make the best of the present moment, even if the situation is not ideal.\\nReminiscing about the good times can be fun. However, keep in mind that you may miss positive aspects of the present moment by romanticizing the past. Appreciate your memories but do not let them tether you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Finding Balance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write expressively.\", \"描述\": \"Mentally aware people are capable of getting out of their head and appreciating the world around them. One way to do so is writing expressively. Purging your inner thoughts on the page can help you engage in the outer world.\\nKeep a diary. Make a nightly ritual of writing down any thoughts, fears, or hopes you have about your life at the moment. Be honest and use as much detail as possible.\\nBy practicing expressive writing on a regular basis, many people are able to disengage with troubling or persistent thought patterns. This can help you become mentally aware and appreciative of the present.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with supportive people.\", \"描述\": \"Mental awareness is not something you can achieve solely on your own. Surround yourself with people that are self aware, strong, and supportive. Seek out the company of friends and family members that give good advice and seem content with their lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept feelings, positive and negative.\", \"描述\": \"Mentally aware people accept things they cannot change, including feelings. Acknowledge that sometimes life will be painful and stressful. Accept that both negative and positive feelings are a normal part of life.\\nAvoidance can be appealing when we're feeling down. However, certain habits people use to disengage in negative thoughts can be more harmful than helpful. Things like drinking and drug use, for example, should not be used to avoid negativity.\\nInstead of trying to cope through avoidance, try to take a moment to acknowledge the feeling the next time you're sad, in pain, or stressed. Say to yourself, \\\"I am not feeling good right now, but this is a normal part of life and it will pass over soon.\\\" Mentally aware people embrace their emotions on all levels, positive and negative.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to live with uncertainty.\", \"描述\": \"Mentally aware people accept they do not always have all the answers. Sometimes, acknowledging that you don't understand a situation, feeling, or person is better than seeking an inaccurate explanation or assumption. Accept that life is sometimes confusing and answers are not always apparent.\\nPeople often engage in behaviors to try to avoid dealing with uncertainty. These include seeking excessive reassurance from others, list-making, double-checking, procrastination, and avoiding situations. Keep a diary of how you avoid coping with uncertainty head on. Write down any activities you engaged to avoid uncertainty.\\nOnce you have an idea of how you avoid uncertainty, try engaging in behaviors that allow you to practice living with uncertainty. For example, if you excessively double check e-mails before sending them out, try sending a few e-mails out each day without re-reading them before hitting \\\"send.\\\" Leave your house without double checking to make sure you locked the door.\\nKeep up with your diary. Write down how you felt about, say, sending an e-mail without reading it over. Writing about your feelings can help you cope with them.\\nKeep practicing. It can take awhile to feel comfortable with uncertain aspects of life. Move from small stakes activities, like leaving without double checking the door is locked, to activities that are more difficult for you. For example say you dislike going to parties as you're uncertain about what precisely will occur in social situations. Force yourself to go to a party by yourself or attend a social gathering you would normally avoid.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,953 | How to Be More Modest | 1. Cultivating a Modest Attitude
1-1. Have a healthy, realistic impression of yourself.
Being modest begins with how you see yourself and your place in the world. By being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you can avoid the pitfalls of arrogance and start to live more modestly.
Try to see yourself the way others see you by asking your closest friends how they perceive you. Ask about both the good and the bad, and let your friends know you'd like a fair and honest assessment.
Acknowledge your good qualities and your positive accomplishments, but don't let these things inflate your ego or define your life.
1-2. Seek out advice and constructive criticism.
A modest person is defined by his or her humility. If you're trying to live more modestly, you should accept the fact that you do not know everything about yourself, and that you may need advice and guidance from others.
Accept that you may be wrong from time to time. Remember that there's nothing wrong with this; no one is perfect, and no one can be right all of the time.
Don't interrupt when someone is criticizing you or giving you advice. You may be tempted to defend yourself, but by listening actively you'll learn a great deal about yourself.
Don't dismiss the criticism others offer you, but don't accept or believe it all at face value. Ask other people who know you if they've noticed similar patterns of behavior, and assess your need to improve while keeping your ego in check.
1-3. Resist the urge to brag about yourself.
Another facet of humility is personal restraint. Modest people do not brag about their wealth or accomplishments, and they don't let these things define them. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should hide anything about yourself; it simply means that you shouldn't boast about anything.
Telling a new acquaintance in conversation about something significant that you've done isn't necessarily bragging if it's relevant to the conversation.
Telling someone about your accomplishments repeatedly, or reminding someone who already knows about them, could be seen as bragging.
1-4. Accept compliments without an ego.
A modest person should not let compliments get to his or her head. You can accept a compliment graciously, but you should not let it feed into your ego or make you think that you're better than others.
Recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but don't let those qualities define you or anyone else.
If someone compliments one of your strengths, you can practice being modest by thanking that person and complimenting them on one of their strengths.
1-5. Strive for selflessness.
A modest person puts the needs of others ahead of his or her own needs. That doesn't mean forcing yourself to suffer; it simply means being considerate of others and fostering a desire to help others in some way.
Be kind to others and think about whether their needs are being met.
You may find that it is ultimately more important and more rewarding to elevate others than to try to elevate yourself.
2. Living a Modest Lifestyle
2-1. Live within your means.
The key to living a modest lifestyle is living within your means. That means avoiding extravagance and settling for the basics. You don't have to deprive yourself to live modestly - you just have to value function and practicality over luxurious status symbols.
Drive a car that is safe, comfortable, and works well. Don't choose a car for its flashiness or status value.
Buy or rent a home that is sturdy, comfortable, and in a safe neighborhood. If you only need two bedrooms then don't rent or buy a place with three bedrooms.
Find out the average cost to purchase a home in your area and try to work within that price range (if it fits your budget).
2-2. Buy used or discount items whenever possible.
One easy way to live a more modest lifestyle is to buy items that are used or discounted instead of paying full price. This can help you save on the basics when you're at the store. Look for items on sale, discount, or clearance when you're at a retail store. You can also check thrift stores for gently-used items available at a fraction of the cost of new items.
Gently-used items are often in like-new condition. You can find these at thrift stores, consignment shops, and pawn shops.
Many clothing stores put out-of-season garments on clearance. These can typically be purchased at a very low cost.
Check stores that are going out of business, as they often have good deals to move products out the door.
2-3. Try not to worry about whether others are impressed.
Living modestly and humbly means emphasizing your values ahead of the opinions of others. Don't trouble yourself wondering whether others are impressed with you or with your possessions. Instead, focus on living a meaningful and upstanding life.
3. Dressing and Behaving More Modestly
3-1. Wear clothing that is not revealing.
Many religious and cultural institutions encourage people to dress modestly. The goal of dressing modestly is to provide a good, morally-sound influence to the people you interact with.
Generally speaking, modest clothing is any article of clothing that is not sexually suggestive and does not show off the body.
This means avoiding any clothing that reveals too much skin, and it may also entail avoiding clothes that are tight-fitting.
3-2. Avoid extremes in appearance.
Modest dress may also include a general avoidance of extremes, depending on one's culture. This may mean being neatly groomed and manicured, conforming to prescribed fashion trends, and abstaining from getting tattoos or piercings.
Someone who wants to live modestly and also wants to have pierced ears may find that a single pair of plain earrings will accommodate both desires.
3-3. Use language that is positive and uplifting.
Modest speech means refraining from vulgarity or negative language. Instead, a modest speaker should strive to be a positive role model for others and should try to make others feel happy.
Don't use swear words.
If you're trying to be modest for spiritual purposes you should also avoid blasphemous language.
Ask yourself whether the things you say would inspire and uplift others, or them feel uncomfortable or upset.
Tips
Respect the beliefs that other people hold. Don't expect others to conform to your way of life, and don't judge other people for living in a way that makes them happy.
Be patient with yourself. It's hard to change old habits, and it may take you a while to figure out how to implement a more modest approach to your life.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cultivating a Modest Attitude\\n1-1. Have a healthy, realistic impression of yourself.\\nBeing modest begins with how you see yourself and your place in the world. By being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you can avoid the pitfalls of arrogance and start to live more modestly.\\nTry to see yourself the way others see you by asking your closest friends how they perceive you. Ask about both the good and the bad, and let your friends know you'd like a fair and honest assessment.\\nAcknowledge your good qualities and your positive accomplishments, but don't let these things inflate your ego or define your life.\\n1-2. Seek out advice and constructive criticism.\\nA modest person is defined by his or her humility. If you're trying to live more modestly, you should accept the fact that you do not know everything about yourself, and that you may need advice and guidance from others.\\nAccept that you may be wrong from time to time. Remember that there's nothing wrong with this; no one is perfect, and no one can be right all of the time.\\nDon't interrupt when someone is criticizing you or giving you advice. You may be tempted to defend yourself, but by listening actively you'll learn a great deal about yourself.\\nDon't dismiss the criticism others offer you, but don't accept or believe it all at face value. Ask other people who know you if they've noticed similar patterns of behavior, and assess your need to improve while keeping your ego in check.\\n1-3. Resist the urge to brag about yourself.\\nAnother facet of humility is personal restraint. Modest people do not brag about their wealth or accomplishments, and they don't let these things define them. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should hide anything about yourself; it simply means that you shouldn't boast about anything.\\nTelling a new acquaintance in conversation about something significant that you've done isn't necessarily bragging if it's relevant to the conversation.\\nTelling someone about your accomplishments repeatedly, or reminding someone who already knows about them, could be seen as bragging.\\n1-4. Accept compliments without an ego.\\nA modest person should not let compliments get to his or her head. You can accept a compliment graciously, but you should not let it feed into your ego or make you think that you're better than others.\\nRecognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but don't let those qualities define you or anyone else.\\nIf someone compliments one of your strengths, you can practice being modest by thanking that person and complimenting them on one of their strengths.\\n1-5. Strive for selflessness.\\nA modest person puts the needs of others ahead of his or her own needs. That doesn't mean forcing yourself to suffer; it simply means being considerate of others and fostering a desire to help others in some way.\\nBe kind to others and think about whether their needs are being met.\\nYou may find that it is ultimately more important and more rewarding to elevate others than to try to elevate yourself.\\n2. Living a Modest Lifestyle\\n2-1. Live within your means.\\nThe key to living a modest lifestyle is living within your means. That means avoiding extravagance and settling for the basics. You don't have to deprive yourself to live modestly - you just have to value function and practicality over luxurious status symbols.\\nDrive a car that is safe, comfortable, and works well. Don't choose a car for its flashiness or status value.\\nBuy or rent a home that is sturdy, comfortable, and in a safe neighborhood. If you only need two bedrooms then don't rent or buy a place with three bedrooms.\\nFind out the average cost to purchase a home in your area and try to work within that price range (if it fits your budget).\\n2-2. Buy used or discount items whenever possible.\\nOne easy way to live a more modest lifestyle is to buy items that are used or discounted instead of paying full price. This can help you save on the basics when you're at the store. Look for items on sale, discount, or clearance when you're at a retail store. You can also check thrift stores for gently-used items available at a fraction of the cost of new items.\\nGently-used items are often in like-new condition. You can find these at thrift stores, consignment shops, and pawn shops.\\nMany clothing stores put out-of-season garments on clearance. These can typically be purchased at a very low cost.\\nCheck stores that are going out of business, as they often have good deals to move products out the door.\\n2-3. Try not to worry about whether others are impressed.\\nLiving modestly and humbly means emphasizing your values ahead of the opinions of others. Don't trouble yourself wondering whether others are impressed with you or with your possessions. Instead, focus on living a meaningful and upstanding life.\\n3. Dressing and Behaving More Modestly\\n3-1. Wear clothing that is not revealing.\\nMany religious and cultural institutions encourage people to dress modestly. The goal of dressing modestly is to provide a good, morally-sound influence to the people you interact with.\\nGenerally speaking, modest clothing is any article of clothing that is not sexually suggestive and does not show off the body.\\nThis means avoiding any clothing that reveals too much skin, and it may also entail avoiding clothes that are tight-fitting.\\n3-2. Avoid extremes in appearance.\\nModest dress may also include a general avoidance of extremes, depending on one's culture. This may mean being neatly groomed and manicured, conforming to prescribed fashion trends, and abstaining from getting tattoos or piercings.\\nSomeone who wants to live modestly and also wants to have pierced ears may find that a single pair of plain earrings will accommodate both desires.\\n3-3. Use language that is positive and uplifting.\\nModest speech means refraining from vulgarity or negative language. Instead, a modest speaker should strive to be a positive role model for others and should try to make others feel happy.\\nDon't use swear words.\\nIf you're trying to be modest for spiritual purposes you should also avoid blasphemous language.\\nAsk yourself whether the things you say would inspire and uplift others, or them feel uncomfortable or upset.\\nTips\\nRespect the beliefs that other people hold. Don't expect others to conform to your way of life, and don't judge other people for living in a way that makes them happy.\\nBe patient with yourself. It's hard to change old habits, and it may take you a while to figure out how to implement a more modest approach to your life.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We've all encountered someone who's the opposite of modest—they go on and on about their accomplishments, they constantly one-up everyone, they have to have the biggest and best of everything. Someone who is modest, on the other hand, doesn't feel the need to show off to others, even if they do have a lot to brag about. The good news is that anyone can become more modest. It just comes down to cultivating the right attitude and being more mindful of how you present yourself and interact with others. If you're not sure where to get started, don't worry—this article will walk you through some simple changes you can make to start becoming a more modest person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivating a Modest Attitude\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a healthy, realistic impression of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Being modest begins with how you see yourself and your place in the world. By being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you can avoid the pitfalls of arrogance and start to live more modestly.\\nTry to see yourself the way others see you by asking your closest friends how they perceive you. Ask about both the good and the bad, and let your friends know you'd like a fair and honest assessment.\\nAcknowledge your good qualities and your positive accomplishments, but don't let these things inflate your ego or define your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seek out advice and constructive criticism.\", \"描述\": \"A modest person is defined by his or her humility. If you're trying to live more modestly, you should accept the fact that you do not know everything about yourself, and that you may need advice and guidance from others.\\nAccept that you may be wrong from time to time. Remember that there's nothing wrong with this; no one is perfect, and no one can be right all of the time.\\nDon't interrupt when someone is criticizing you or giving you advice. You may be tempted to defend yourself, but by listening actively you'll learn a great deal about yourself.\\nDon't dismiss the criticism others offer you, but don't accept or believe it all at face value. Ask other people who know you if they've noticed similar patterns of behavior, and assess your need to improve while keeping your ego in check.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to brag about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Another facet of humility is personal restraint. Modest people do not brag about their wealth or accomplishments, and they don't let these things define them. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should hide anything about yourself; it simply means that you shouldn't boast about anything.\\nTelling a new acquaintance in conversation about something significant that you've done isn't necessarily bragging if it's relevant to the conversation.\\nTelling someone about your accomplishments repeatedly, or reminding someone who already knows about them, could be seen as bragging.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept compliments without an ego.\", \"描述\": \"A modest person should not let compliments get to his or her head. You can accept a compliment graciously, but you should not let it feed into your ego or make you think that you're better than others.\\nRecognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but don't let those qualities define you or anyone else.\\nIf someone compliments one of your strengths, you can practice being modest by thanking that person and complimenting them on one of their strengths.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Strive for selflessness.\", \"描述\": \"A modest person puts the needs of others ahead of his or her own needs. That doesn't mean forcing yourself to suffer; it simply means being considerate of others and fostering a desire to help others in some way.\\nBe kind to others and think about whether their needs are being met.\\nYou may find that it is ultimately more important and more rewarding to elevate others than to try to elevate yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Living a Modest Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Live within your means.\", \"描述\": \"The key to living a modest lifestyle is living within your means. That means avoiding extravagance and settling for the basics. You don't have to deprive yourself to live modestly - you just have to value function and practicality over luxurious status symbols.\\nDrive a car that is safe, comfortable, and works well. Don't choose a car for its flashiness or status value.\\nBuy or rent a home that is sturdy, comfortable, and in a safe neighborhood. If you only need two bedrooms then don't rent or buy a place with three bedrooms.\\nFind out the average cost to purchase a home in your area and try to work within that price range (if it fits your budget).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy used or discount items whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"One easy way to live a more modest lifestyle is to buy items that are used or discounted instead of paying full price. This can help you save on the basics when you're at the store. Look for items on sale, discount, or clearance when you're at a retail store. You can also check thrift stores for gently-used items available at a fraction of the cost of new items.\\nGently-used items are often in like-new condition. You can find these at thrift stores, consignment shops, and pawn shops.\\nMany clothing stores put out-of-season garments on clearance. These can typically be purchased at a very low cost.\\nCheck stores that are going out of business, as they often have good deals to move products out the door.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try not to worry about whether others are impressed.\", \"描述\": \"Living modestly and humbly means emphasizing your values ahead of the opinions of others. Don't trouble yourself wondering whether others are impressed with you or with your possessions. Instead, focus on living a meaningful and upstanding life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dressing and Behaving More Modestly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear clothing that is not revealing.\", \"描述\": \"Many religious and cultural institutions encourage people to dress modestly. The goal of dressing modestly is to provide a good, morally-sound influence to the people you interact with.\\nGenerally speaking, modest clothing is any article of clothing that is not sexually suggestive and does not show off the body.\\nThis means avoiding any clothing that reveals too much skin, and it may also entail avoiding clothes that are tight-fitting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid extremes in appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Modest dress may also include a general avoidance of extremes, depending on one's culture. This may mean being neatly groomed and manicured, conforming to prescribed fashion trends, and abstaining from getting tattoos or piercings.\\nSomeone who wants to live modestly and also wants to have pierced ears may find that a single pair of plain earrings will accommodate both desires.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use language that is positive and uplifting.\", \"描述\": \"Modest speech means refraining from vulgarity or negative language. Instead, a modest speaker should strive to be a positive role model for others and should try to make others feel happy.\\nDon't use swear words.\\nIf you're trying to be modest for spiritual purposes you should also avoid blasphemous language.\\nAsk yourself whether the things you say would inspire and uplift others, or them feel uncomfortable or upset.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Respect the beliefs that other people hold. Don't expect others to conform to your way of life, and don't judge other people for living in a way that makes them happy.\\n\", \"Be patient with yourself. It's hard to change old habits, and it may take you a while to figure out how to implement a more modest approach to your life.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,954 | How to Be More Perceptive | 1. Practicing Perceptive Listening
1-1. Relax and become aware of what you're hearing.
Studies show that talking elevates a person's blood pressure. Listening brings it back down. Listening relaxes us, which allows us to pay attention to our surroundings (and those in it). Perceptive listening goes beyond actively listening, which focuses on listening to another person, reflecting on what he or she says, and sharing your thoughts.
It also requires you to think about what the other person is thinking and how he or she acts while talking.
It demands focus and being mindful of and present in the conversation by paying close attention to cues from the other person and providing feedback relevant to the discussion.
1-2. Remember that listening requires interpretation.
The need to interpret information limits people in their ability to understand what a message means. These interpretations are often dictated by a person's life experiences. Therefore, they are also limited by these experiences.
This leaves a lot of room for error in understanding what another person means.
Instead of trying to process everything at once, break down a complex situation into smaller parts. Go through each piece of information one at a time.
1-3. Master perceptive listening.
Listening is not an involuntary, automatic response to hearing what someone is saying. It involves a conscious effort on your part and requires practice. Foremost is that you respect the speaker as a human being who deserves to be heard. An effective listener will validate and empower others. This improves the relationship and often leads to future discussions that are straight forward and detailed. Here are some tips to being a more effective listener.
Focus your attention, shut out distractions and listen closely to what's said. You cannot assess a statement's logic or the speaker's true intentions if you're unfocused.
Respond to what's said so the speaker feels heard and believes you understand what he or she is saying. This feedback also allows you to clear up any misinterpretations in your processing.
Don't interrupt when providing feedback. Wait for natural breaks in the conversation and for cues from the speaker, such as “Does that make sense?”
Ask questions at appropriate times to draw out what the speaker might not have said otherwise.
Pay attention to the speaker's mannerisms and tone, and what they might mean. Consider the context within which the message is delivered and observe what is not said. Meaning is not always openly expressed. For example, if someone is being rude to you at work, they might actually be feeling insecure, unsafe, and invalidated.
Don't fill silences simply to avoid them. Give the person time to think through what he or she is thinking and wants to say.
Be open-minded to messages that you do not agree with (e.g., prejudicial comments and opposing viewpoints). Allow the speaker to fully explain him or herself.
Seek to understand and interpret a message's meaning by using the cues you've been paying attention to and by drawing on your experiences.
Make a conscious and active effort to remember what's said. Retaining information is necessary for assessing its relationship to other aspects of the conversation – in the moment. It's also needed to later process the information, which alone can alter your perception and handling of related situations.
1-4. Avoid roadblocks that prevent perceptive listening.
Try not to ask “why” questions because this can make people feel defensive. Avoid advising the person about what you think should be done unless you're asked. Don't make quick reassurances, such as, “Don't worry about that.” The latter can indicate you're not fully listening or taking the discussion seriously.
1-5. Practice perceptive listening in other areas of your life.
Listen to the sounds around you and observe how they make you feel. Notice when you aren't noticing sounds and stop, close your eyes, relax and focus. The more you do this, the more you will become aware of the world around you. This will also help you detect odd, unusual and pleasing sounds and become more perceptive about their meanings, in addition to the situations that might accompany them.
2. Reading Body Language
2-1. Learn about body language.
Ninety percent of human communication is non-verbal. A person's body language can be voluntary or involuntary, and it is both genetic and learned. It is a strong indicator of how a person feels, but it can vary from one culture to the next. Those discussed in this article are indicators of body language in Western cultures.
2-2. Understand the six facial expressions.
Psychologists have classified six involuntary facial expressions that they consider to be nearly universal across cultures. They are happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, disgust and anger. Each has its own signals or clues, and can reveal a person's feelings. But remember they are often fleeting, and some people mask them well.
Happiness is exhibited by a raising or lowering of the corners of the mouth.
Sadness is shown by a lowering of the corners of the mouth and by the raising of the inner portions of one's eyebrows.
Surprise can be seen when eyebrows arch, eyes open wide to expose more white area, and when the jaw drops slightly.
Fear is revealed through the raising of eyebrows, when eyes open after being shut or narrowed, and when the mouth opens slightly.
Disgust is displayed when the upper lip raises, the bridge of the nose wrinkles, and cheeks raise.
Anger exhibits itself when eyebrows lower, lips press together firmly, and eyes bulge.
2-3. Know what eye movements mean.
Many believe that eyes are the windows to the soul. This belief drove many psychological and cognitive researchers to investigate if our involuntary eye movements held meaning. Research has shown our eyes make predictable movements when a person is processing a thought or question. The notion that you can tell if someone is lying based upon the direction of his or her eye movement, however, is a myth. Here's what we do know.
Eye movements in any direction increase when a person is recalling information.
Our eye movements stop when something interests us. We also avert our gaze when thinking through something, such as the answer to a question. And our eyes stop moving when we're trying to shut out distractions and focus.
Eyes move from left to right (or vice versa) when we are either problem-solving or processing and recalling information. And the harder the problem the more your eyes move.
Eyes blink at a normal rate of 6-8 times per minute. When a person is under stress, that number rises dramatically.
Raised eyebrows not only show fear but also genuine interest in a topic. Furrowed eyebrows signal confusion.
2-4. Look at the way a person's mouth moves.
Researchers say the mouth's movements reveal a great deal about how a person feels. Pursing your lips, for example, is a sign of anger. Happiness, as discussed, is displayed when the corners of the mouth curve up. However, researchers have found that different smiles mean different things.
Natural, spontaneous smiles appear gradually, last briefly and are shown repetitively.
Genuine delight is expressed by a series of short smile “bursts” and creases that form at the corners of the eyes.
Fake smiles are about 10 times larger than natural, spontaneous ones. They also appear suddenly, last longer than a natural smile, and disappear abruptly.
2-5. Observe head movements.
A person tilts his or her head when actively listening to a topic that interests him or her. Nodding your head indicates you are interested in the topic and want the other person to continue talking. And rubbing one's forehead or earlobes indicates a person feels uneasy, nervous or vulnerable.
2-6. Watch hand and arm movements.
People move their hands and arms more than normal when they are speaking or answering a question. They also touch both things and other people more when they respond to intimate questions or when they are physically close to others.
Hiding your hands, like in your pockets or behind your back, can indicate deceit.
Crossing your arms doesn't always indicate anger, but it can be a defensive posture. It can also mean you feel uneasy with the other person.
2-7. Notice body posture and movements.
Learning toward another person is a relaxed and interested indicator. Friendly feelings exist. Leaning in too close, on the other hand, can be experienced as a hostile or dominating gesture. Angling yourself toward another person while you're both standing signals respect. It's also often a sign of deference.
Adopting postures similar to others tends to increase group or interpersonal rapport. It tells others you are open to their thoughts.
Standing with your legs wide apart is either a traditional stance for those in positions of power or a dominating position.
A slumped posture indicates boredom, alienation or feeling ashamed.
An upright posture asserts confidence, but it also can exude hostility or a sense of uprightness.
3. Trusting Your Intuition
3-1. Understand intuition and its role in your life.
Most people have, at some point, experienced a “gut feeling.” It seems to arise from nowhere but is quite distinct. Gut feelings make people feel in any number of ways. They can also cause a person to sense and know things without any logical explanation. And, at times, they spur a person to do things he or she might not otherwise.
The famous psychotherapist, Carl Jung, said that all people use intuition as one of the four ways we function in life. The other three are feeling, thinking and sensing. This makes intuition distinct and not determined by the others.
Even though many people dismiss intuition as being either nonsense or luck, scientists are now saying it's a very real ability that's been identified in lab settings and on bran scans.
3-2. Discover traits of the intuitive person.
Researchers say that everyone is born with intuition, but not everyone is open to believing in it or willing to listen to it. And some people are more intuitive than others. That may be because they were naturally born with a heightened awareness. It could be because they've seen it work in their lives. And it might be because, along the way, they learned to notice and pick up on subtle cues from others and the environment.
Often those who are very intuitive are also particularly people-focused. They are more easily able to sense what others are feeling.
They're generally more emotionally oriented than analytical.
They frequently make decisions quickly and efficiently. They're able to do this because they use past experiences and emotions to guide them.
Women are often more intuitive than men. This could be the result of an evolutionary process that's made women particularly conscious of human responses and social stimuli.
And there is evidence that some people can go a step beyond what's even normal in this realm. There's documentation of people knowing events have occurred far away, even though they have no prior knowledge of the event or factual basis to explain how they knew.
3-3. Recognize some of the signs.
Scientific studies have shown that highly intuitive people experience changes in their heart rate and get sweaty palms when they are exposed to deceit. They believe it is a response to the stress of subconsciously knowing or suspecting they were being tricked. This seems to indicate that our instincts kick in and cause physical sensations first. Our minds catch up quickly, but second.
3-4. Learn to become more intuitive.
Though intuition varies, there are things you can do to become more intuitive if you practice and have an open mind. The most basic way is to still (calm) your mind so you can a) listen to your inner voice and b) learn to be more observant of your environment and the people in it.
Pay attention to sensations that seem to come out of the blue and have no logical explanation. Our brain's amygdala, which generates the fight-or-flight instinct, is able to activate, process and respond to cues and information before we are consciously aware they exist. It can also process images (and initiate our response to them) that pass before our eyes so fast that we cannot even see them.
Researchers believe this stems from our very ancient ancestors' need to quickly gather and assess information if they wanted to survive.
Get plenty of REM sleep. During REM, our brains problem solve, connect pieces of information and are most in tune with emotions.
Before you go to sleep, write down a problem or worry you have. Think about it for a bit, and then let your brain come up with an intuitive solution during REM.
Distract your conscious mind so your intuitive mind has a chance to do its work. Research shows that our intuitive mind processes information even when we're not consciously paying attention to that information.
In fact, the decisions a person makes when distracted have been shown to often be the correct ones. If you have a problem or concern, think through your options. Then stop and concentrate on something else. Go with the first solution that comes to you.
3-5. Check your gut decisions against the facts.
Growing scientific evidence supports the wisdom of many intuitive decisions. Issues such as extreme distress can distort that intuitive processing, though, and lead to bad decision-making. Gut reactions and hunches are not always accurate. A smart approach is to listen to your gut and, at the same time, evaluate what it's telling you against the evidence.
Also factor in your emotions. Were they extreme when you got the gut feeling?
4. Practicing Meditation
4-1. Meditate to improve perception.
Buddhists have been practicing meditation for more than 2,500 years. Now roughly 10% of Americans meditate as well. Several studies have been conducted showing that meditation can significantly improve perception. Participants in one study were able to detect small visual variations. They had abnormally long attention spans as well. Another demonstrated that the regions in the brain associated with a) sensitivity to body signals and b) sensory processing have increased grey matter when a person regularly meditates.
Grey matter is a type of tissue in the Central Nervous System that processes information and triggers a sensory response to it.
It is believed that meditating creates more neural connections in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This region processes sensory information, handles rational decision-making and regulates the amygdala.
Teaching yourself to relax, to tune things out, and to be receptive – rather than reactive – to the moment enhances your ability to receive cues around you.
4-2. Learn about the types of meditation.
Meditation is an umbrella term for the ways you can achieve a relaxed state of being. Different types of meditation have different meditative processes. Here are some of the most widely practiced types of meditation.
Guided meditation is led by a teacher, therapist or guide who talks you through visualizing images of people, places, things and experiences that you find relaxing.
Mantra meditation involves repeating a calming word, thought or phrase to prevent distracting thoughts from entering your mind.
Mindfulness meditation asks that you focus on the present moment and your breathing. Observe your thoughts and emotions without judging them harshly.
Qi gong combines meditation, physical movement, breathing exercises and relaxation to restore balance in your thinking.
Tai chi is a form of the Chinese martial arts, but movements and postures are slow. You need to also focus on deep breathing.
Transcendental meditation involves silently repeating a personal mantra – a word, sound or phrase – to get your body into a state of deep relaxation. Here your mind can strive for inner peace.
Yoga is the practice of performing a series of postures and breathing exercises to create a more flexible body and a calm mind. Going from one pose to another requires concentration and balance. Therefore, the emphasis is on thinking only of the present moment.
4-3. Discover ways to practice it daily.
You can practice meditation on your own at any point in the day. You don't need a formal class. The length of time you meditate is not as important as doing it regularly, and to the point of relaxation.
Breathe deeply and slowly through your nose. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, focus back on your breathing.
Scan your body and become aware of any sensations you feel. Focus your attention on different parts of your body. Combine this with breathing exercises to relax each part of your body.
Create your own mantra and repeat it throughout the day.
Walk slowly, anywhere, and focus on the movement of your legs and feet. Repeat action words in your mind, such as “lifting” or “moving," as you place one foot in front of another.
Pray in spoken or written form using your own words or those written by others.
Read poetry or books that are sacred to you, and then reflect on the meaning of what you read. You can also listen to music or spoken words that are inspiring or relaxing. Afterward, write down your reflections or discuss them with another, if you choose.
Focus on a sacred object or being and think loving, compassionate and grateful thoughts. You can also close your eyes and visualize the object or being.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Perceptive Listening\\n1-1. Relax and become aware of what you're hearing.\\nStudies show that talking elevates a person's blood pressure. Listening brings it back down. Listening relaxes us, which allows us to pay attention to our surroundings (and those in it). Perceptive listening goes beyond actively listening, which focuses on listening to another person, reflecting on what he or she says, and sharing your thoughts.\\nIt also requires you to think about what the other person is thinking and how he or she acts while talking.\\nIt demands focus and being mindful of and present in the conversation by paying close attention to cues from the other person and providing feedback relevant to the discussion.\\n1-2. Remember that listening requires interpretation.\\nThe need to interpret information limits people in their ability to understand what a message means. These interpretations are often dictated by a person's life experiences. Therefore, they are also limited by these experiences.\\nThis leaves a lot of room for error in understanding what another person means.\\nInstead of trying to process everything at once, break down a complex situation into smaller parts. Go through each piece of information one at a time.\\n1-3. Master perceptive listening.\\nListening is not an involuntary, automatic response to hearing what someone is saying. It involves a conscious effort on your part and requires practice. Foremost is that you respect the speaker as a human being who deserves to be heard. An effective listener will validate and empower others. This improves the relationship and often leads to future discussions that are straight forward and detailed. Here are some tips to being a more effective listener.\\nFocus your attention, shut out distractions and listen closely to what's said. You cannot assess a statement's logic or the speaker's true intentions if you're unfocused.\\nRespond to what's said so the speaker feels heard and believes you understand what he or she is saying. This feedback also allows you to clear up any misinterpretations in your processing.\\nDon't interrupt when providing feedback. Wait for natural breaks in the conversation and for cues from the speaker, such as “Does that make sense?”\\nAsk questions at appropriate times to draw out what the speaker might not have said otherwise.\\nPay attention to the speaker's mannerisms and tone, and what they might mean. Consider the context within which the message is delivered and observe what is not said. Meaning is not always openly expressed. For example, if someone is being rude to you at work, they might actually be feeling insecure, unsafe, and invalidated.\\nDon't fill silences simply to avoid them. Give the person time to think through what he or she is thinking and wants to say.\\nBe open-minded to messages that you do not agree with (e.g., prejudicial comments and opposing viewpoints). Allow the speaker to fully explain him or herself.\\nSeek to understand and interpret a message's meaning by using the cues you've been paying attention to and by drawing on your experiences.\\nMake a conscious and active effort to remember what's said. Retaining information is necessary for assessing its relationship to other aspects of the conversation – in the moment. It's also needed to later process the information, which alone can alter your perception and handling of related situations.\\n1-4. Avoid roadblocks that prevent perceptive listening.\\nTry not to ask “why” questions because this can make people feel defensive. Avoid advising the person about what you think should be done unless you're asked. Don't make quick reassurances, such as, “Don't worry about that.” The latter can indicate you're not fully listening or taking the discussion seriously.\\n1-5. Practice perceptive listening in other areas of your life.\\nListen to the sounds around you and observe how they make you feel. Notice when you aren't noticing sounds and stop, close your eyes, relax and focus. The more you do this, the more you will become aware of the world around you. This will also help you detect odd, unusual and pleasing sounds and become more perceptive about their meanings, in addition to the situations that might accompany them.\\n2. Reading Body Language\\n2-1. Learn about body language.\\nNinety percent of human communication is non-verbal. A person's body language can be voluntary or involuntary, and it is both genetic and learned. It is a strong indicator of how a person feels, but it can vary from one culture to the next. Those discussed in this article are indicators of body language in Western cultures.\\n2-2. Understand the six facial expressions.\\nPsychologists have classified six involuntary facial expressions that they consider to be nearly universal across cultures. They are happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, disgust and anger. Each has its own signals or clues, and can reveal a person's feelings. But remember they are often fleeting, and some people mask them well.\\nHappiness is exhibited by a raising or lowering of the corners of the mouth.\\nSadness is shown by a lowering of the corners of the mouth and by the raising of the inner portions of one's eyebrows.\\nSurprise can be seen when eyebrows arch, eyes open wide to expose more white area, and when the jaw drops slightly.\\nFear is revealed through the raising of eyebrows, when eyes open after being shut or narrowed, and when the mouth opens slightly.\\nDisgust is displayed when the upper lip raises, the bridge of the nose wrinkles, and cheeks raise.\\nAnger exhibits itself when eyebrows lower, lips press together firmly, and eyes bulge.\\n2-3. Know what eye movements mean.\\nMany believe that eyes are the windows to the soul. This belief drove many psychological and cognitive researchers to investigate if our involuntary eye movements held meaning. Research has shown our eyes make predictable movements when a person is processing a thought or question. The notion that you can tell if someone is lying based upon the direction of his or her eye movement, however, is a myth. Here's what we do know.\\nEye movements in any direction increase when a person is recalling information.\\nOur eye movements stop when something interests us. We also avert our gaze when thinking through something, such as the answer to a question. And our eyes stop moving when we're trying to shut out distractions and focus.\\nEyes move from left to right (or vice versa) when we are either problem-solving or processing and recalling information. And the harder the problem the more your eyes move.\\nEyes blink at a normal rate of 6-8 times per minute. When a person is under stress, that number rises dramatically.\\nRaised eyebrows not only show fear but also genuine interest in a topic. Furrowed eyebrows signal confusion.\\n2-4. Look at the way a person's mouth moves.\\nResearchers say the mouth's movements reveal a great deal about how a person feels. Pursing your lips, for example, is a sign of anger. Happiness, as discussed, is displayed when the corners of the mouth curve up. However, researchers have found that different smiles mean different things.\\nNatural, spontaneous smiles appear gradually, last briefly and are shown repetitively.\\nGenuine delight is expressed by a series of short smile “bursts” and creases that form at the corners of the eyes.\\nFake smiles are about 10 times larger than natural, spontaneous ones. They also appear suddenly, last longer than a natural smile, and disappear abruptly.\\n2-5. Observe head movements.\\nA person tilts his or her head when actively listening to a topic that interests him or her. Nodding your head indicates you are interested in the topic and want the other person to continue talking. And rubbing one's forehead or earlobes indicates a person feels uneasy, nervous or vulnerable.\\n2-6. Watch hand and arm movements.\\nPeople move their hands and arms more than normal when they are speaking or answering a question. They also touch both things and other people more when they respond to intimate questions or when they are physically close to others.\\nHiding your hands, like in your pockets or behind your back, can indicate deceit.\\nCrossing your arms doesn't always indicate anger, but it can be a defensive posture. It can also mean you feel uneasy with the other person.\\n2-7. Notice body posture and movements.\\nLearning toward another person is a relaxed and interested indicator. Friendly feelings exist. Leaning in too close, on the other hand, can be experienced as a hostile or dominating gesture. Angling yourself toward another person while you're both standing signals respect. It's also often a sign of deference.\\nAdopting postures similar to others tends to increase group or interpersonal rapport. It tells others you are open to their thoughts.\\nStanding with your legs wide apart is either a traditional stance for those in positions of power or a dominating position.\\nA slumped posture indicates boredom, alienation or feeling ashamed.\\nAn upright posture asserts confidence, but it also can exude hostility or a sense of uprightness.\\n3. Trusting Your Intuition\\n3-1. Understand intuition and its role in your life.\\nMost people have, at some point, experienced a “gut feeling.” It seems to arise from nowhere but is quite distinct. Gut feelings make people feel in any number of ways. They can also cause a person to sense and know things without any logical explanation. And, at times, they spur a person to do things he or she might not otherwise.\\nThe famous psychotherapist, Carl Jung, said that all people use intuition as one of the four ways we function in life. The other three are feeling, thinking and sensing. This makes intuition distinct and not determined by the others.\\nEven though many people dismiss intuition as being either nonsense or luck, scientists are now saying it's a very real ability that's been identified in lab settings and on bran scans.\\n3-2. Discover traits of the intuitive person.\\nResearchers say that everyone is born with intuition, but not everyone is open to believing in it or willing to listen to it. And some people are more intuitive than others. That may be because they were naturally born with a heightened awareness. It could be because they've seen it work in their lives. And it might be because, along the way, they learned to notice and pick up on subtle cues from others and the environment.\\nOften those who are very intuitive are also particularly people-focused. They are more easily able to sense what others are feeling.\\nThey're generally more emotionally oriented than analytical.\\nThey frequently make decisions quickly and efficiently. They're able to do this because they use past experiences and emotions to guide them.\\nWomen are often more intuitive than men. This could be the result of an evolutionary process that's made women particularly conscious of human responses and social stimuli.\\nAnd there is evidence that some people can go a step beyond what's even normal in this realm. There's documentation of people knowing events have occurred far away, even though they have no prior knowledge of the event or factual basis to explain how they knew.\\n3-3. Recognize some of the signs.\\nScientific studies have shown that highly intuitive people experience changes in their heart rate and get sweaty palms when they are exposed to deceit. They believe it is a response to the stress of subconsciously knowing or suspecting they were being tricked. This seems to indicate that our instincts kick in and cause physical sensations first. Our minds catch up quickly, but second.\\n3-4. Learn to become more intuitive.\\nThough intuition varies, there are things you can do to become more intuitive if you practice and have an open mind. The most basic way is to still (calm) your mind so you can a) listen to your inner voice and b) learn to be more observant of your environment and the people in it.\\nPay attention to sensations that seem to come out of the blue and have no logical explanation. Our brain's amygdala, which generates the fight-or-flight instinct, is able to activate, process and respond to cues and information before we are consciously aware they exist. It can also process images (and initiate our response to them) that pass before our eyes so fast that we cannot even see them.\\nResearchers believe this stems from our very ancient ancestors' need to quickly gather and assess information if they wanted to survive.\\nGet plenty of REM sleep. During REM, our brains problem solve, connect pieces of information and are most in tune with emotions.\\nBefore you go to sleep, write down a problem or worry you have. Think about it for a bit, and then let your brain come up with an intuitive solution during REM.\\nDistract your conscious mind so your intuitive mind has a chance to do its work. Research shows that our intuitive mind processes information even when we're not consciously paying attention to that information.\\nIn fact, the decisions a person makes when distracted have been shown to often be the correct ones. If you have a problem or concern, think through your options. Then stop and concentrate on something else. Go with the first solution that comes to you.\\n3-5. Check your gut decisions against the facts.\\nGrowing scientific evidence supports the wisdom of many intuitive decisions. Issues such as extreme distress can distort that intuitive processing, though, and lead to bad decision-making. Gut reactions and hunches are not always accurate. A smart approach is to listen to your gut and, at the same time, evaluate what it's telling you against the evidence.\\nAlso factor in your emotions. Were they extreme when you got the gut feeling?\\n4. Practicing Meditation\\n4-1. Meditate to improve perception.\\nBuddhists have been practicing meditation for more than 2,500 years. Now roughly 10% of Americans meditate as well. Several studies have been conducted showing that meditation can significantly improve perception. Participants in one study were able to detect small visual variations. They had abnormally long attention spans as well. Another demonstrated that the regions in the brain associated with a) sensitivity to body signals and b) sensory processing have increased grey matter when a person regularly meditates.\\nGrey matter is a type of tissue in the Central Nervous System that processes information and triggers a sensory response to it.\\nIt is believed that meditating creates more neural connections in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This region processes sensory information, handles rational decision-making and regulates the amygdala.\\nTeaching yourself to relax, to tune things out, and to be receptive – rather than reactive – to the moment enhances your ability to receive cues around you.\\n4-2. Learn about the types of meditation.\\nMeditation is an umbrella term for the ways you can achieve a relaxed state of being. Different types of meditation have different meditative processes. Here are some of the most widely practiced types of meditation.\\nGuided meditation is led by a teacher, therapist or guide who talks you through visualizing images of people, places, things and experiences that you find relaxing.\\nMantra meditation involves repeating a calming word, thought or phrase to prevent distracting thoughts from entering your mind.\\nMindfulness meditation asks that you focus on the present moment and your breathing. Observe your thoughts and emotions without judging them harshly.\\nQi gong combines meditation, physical movement, breathing exercises and relaxation to restore balance in your thinking.\\nTai chi is a form of the Chinese martial arts, but movements and postures are slow. You need to also focus on deep breathing.\\nTranscendental meditation involves silently repeating a personal mantra – a word, sound or phrase – to get your body into a state of deep relaxation. Here your mind can strive for inner peace.\\nYoga is the practice of performing a series of postures and breathing exercises to create a more flexible body and a calm mind. Going from one pose to another requires concentration and balance. Therefore, the emphasis is on thinking only of the present moment.\\n4-3. Discover ways to practice it daily.\\nYou can practice meditation on your own at any point in the day. You don't need a formal class. The length of time you meditate is not as important as doing it regularly, and to the point of relaxation.\\nBreathe deeply and slowly through your nose. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, focus back on your breathing.\\nScan your body and become aware of any sensations you feel. Focus your attention on different parts of your body. Combine this with breathing exercises to relax each part of your body.\\nCreate your own mantra and repeat it throughout the day.\\nWalk slowly, anywhere, and focus on the movement of your legs and feet. Repeat action words in your mind, such as “lifting” or “moving,\\\" as you place one foot in front of another.\\nPray in spoken or written form using your own words or those written by others.\\nRead poetry or books that are sacred to you, and then reflect on the meaning of what you read. You can also listen to music or spoken words that are inspiring or relaxing. Afterward, write down your reflections or discuss them with another, if you choose.\\nFocus on a sacred object or being and think loving, compassionate and grateful thoughts. You can also close your eyes and visualize the object or being.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Perception refers to the way we understand and interpret the information we sense and take in. Often it also refers to the things we sense but cannot explain. Learn to be more perceptive by reading people's body language, by trusting your gut, by being a perceptive listener, and by practicing meditation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Perceptive Listening\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Relax and become aware of what you're hearing.\", \"描述\": \"Studies show that talking elevates a person's blood pressure. Listening brings it back down. Listening relaxes us, which allows us to pay attention to our surroundings (and those in it). Perceptive listening goes beyond actively listening, which focuses on listening to another person, reflecting on what he or she says, and sharing your thoughts.\\nIt also requires you to think about what the other person is thinking and how he or she acts while talking.\\nIt demands focus and being mindful of and present in the conversation by paying close attention to cues from the other person and providing feedback relevant to the discussion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember that listening requires interpretation.\", \"描述\": \"The need to interpret information limits people in their ability to understand what a message means. These interpretations are often dictated by a person's life experiences. Therefore, they are also limited by these experiences.\\nThis leaves a lot of room for error in understanding what another person means.\\nInstead of trying to process everything at once, break down a complex situation into smaller parts. Go through each piece of information one at a time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Master perceptive listening.\", \"描述\": \"Listening is not an involuntary, automatic response to hearing what someone is saying. It involves a conscious effort on your part and requires practice. Foremost is that you respect the speaker as a human being who deserves to be heard. An effective listener will validate and empower others. This improves the relationship and often leads to future discussions that are straight forward and detailed. Here are some tips to being a more effective listener.\\nFocus your attention, shut out distractions and listen closely to what's said. You cannot assess a statement's logic or the speaker's true intentions if you're unfocused.\\nRespond to what's said so the speaker feels heard and believes you understand what he or she is saying. This feedback also allows you to clear up any misinterpretations in your processing.\\nDon't interrupt when providing feedback. Wait for natural breaks in the conversation and for cues from the speaker, such as “Does that make sense?”\\nAsk questions at appropriate times to draw out what the speaker might not have said otherwise.\\nPay attention to the speaker's mannerisms and tone, and what they might mean. Consider the context within which the message is delivered and observe what is not said. Meaning is not always openly expressed. For example, if someone is being rude to you at work, they might actually be feeling insecure, unsafe, and invalidated.\\nDon't fill silences simply to avoid them. Give the person time to think through what he or she is thinking and wants to say.\\nBe open-minded to messages that you do not agree with (e.g., prejudicial comments and opposing viewpoints). Allow the speaker to fully explain him or herself.\\nSeek to understand and interpret a message's meaning by using the cues you've been paying attention to and by drawing on your experiences.\\nMake a conscious and active effort to remember what's said. Retaining information is necessary for assessing its relationship to other aspects of the conversation – in the moment. It's also needed to later process the information, which alone can alter your perception and handling of related situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid roadblocks that prevent perceptive listening.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to ask “why” questions because this can make people feel defensive. Avoid advising the person about what you think should be done unless you're asked. Don't make quick reassurances, such as, “Don't worry about that.” The latter can indicate you're not fully listening or taking the discussion seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice perceptive listening in other areas of your life.\", \"描述\": \"Listen to the sounds around you and observe how they make you feel. Notice when you aren't noticing sounds and stop, close your eyes, relax and focus. The more you do this, the more you will become aware of the world around you. This will also help you detect odd, unusual and pleasing sounds and become more perceptive about their meanings, in addition to the situations that might accompany them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reading Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about body language.\", \"描述\": \"Ninety percent of human communication is non-verbal. A person's body language can be voluntary or involuntary, and it is both genetic and learned. It is a strong indicator of how a person feels, but it can vary from one culture to the next. Those discussed in this article are indicators of body language in Western cultures.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand the six facial expressions.\", \"描述\": \"Psychologists have classified six involuntary facial expressions that they consider to be nearly universal across cultures. They are happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, disgust and anger. Each has its own signals or clues, and can reveal a person's feelings. But remember they are often fleeting, and some people mask them well.\\nHappiness is exhibited by a raising or lowering of the corners of the mouth.\\nSadness is shown by a lowering of the corners of the mouth and by the raising of the inner portions of one's eyebrows.\\nSurprise can be seen when eyebrows arch, eyes open wide to expose more white area, and when the jaw drops slightly.\\nFear is revealed through the raising of eyebrows, when eyes open after being shut or narrowed, and when the mouth opens slightly.\\nDisgust is displayed when the upper lip raises, the bridge of the nose wrinkles, and cheeks raise.\\nAnger exhibits itself when eyebrows lower, lips press together firmly, and eyes bulge.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know what eye movements mean.\", \"描述\": \"Many believe that eyes are the windows to the soul. This belief drove many psychological and cognitive researchers to investigate if our involuntary eye movements held meaning. Research has shown our eyes make predictable movements when a person is processing a thought or question. The notion that you can tell if someone is lying based upon the direction of his or her eye movement, however, is a myth. Here's what we do know.\\nEye movements in any direction increase when a person is recalling information.\\nOur eye movements stop when something interests us. We also avert our gaze when thinking through something, such as the answer to a question. And our eyes stop moving when we're trying to shut out distractions and focus.\\nEyes move from left to right (or vice versa) when we are either problem-solving or processing and recalling information. And the harder the problem the more your eyes move.\\nEyes blink at a normal rate of 6-8 times per minute. When a person is under stress, that number rises dramatically.\\nRaised eyebrows not only show fear but also genuine interest in a topic. Furrowed eyebrows signal confusion.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look at the way a person's mouth moves.\", \"描述\": \"Researchers say the mouth's movements reveal a great deal about how a person feels. Pursing your lips, for example, is a sign of anger. Happiness, as discussed, is displayed when the corners of the mouth curve up. However, researchers have found that different smiles mean different things.\\nNatural, spontaneous smiles appear gradually, last briefly and are shown repetitively.\\nGenuine delight is expressed by a series of short smile “bursts” and creases that form at the corners of the eyes.\\nFake smiles are about 10 times larger than natural, spontaneous ones. They also appear suddenly, last longer than a natural smile, and disappear abruptly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Observe head movements.\", \"描述\": \"A person tilts his or her head when actively listening to a topic that interests him or her. Nodding your head indicates you are interested in the topic and want the other person to continue talking. And rubbing one's forehead or earlobes indicates a person feels uneasy, nervous or vulnerable.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Watch hand and arm movements.\", \"描述\": \"People move their hands and arms more than normal when they are speaking or answering a question. They also touch both things and other people more when they respond to intimate questions or when they are physically close to others.\\nHiding your hands, like in your pockets or behind your back, can indicate deceit.\\nCrossing your arms doesn't always indicate anger, but it can be a defensive posture. It can also mean you feel uneasy with the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Notice body posture and movements.\", \"描述\": \"Learning toward another person is a relaxed and interested indicator. Friendly feelings exist. Leaning in too close, on the other hand, can be experienced as a hostile or dominating gesture. Angling yourself toward another person while you're both standing signals respect. It's also often a sign of deference.\\nAdopting postures similar to others tends to increase group or interpersonal rapport. It tells others you are open to their thoughts.\\nStanding with your legs wide apart is either a traditional stance for those in positions of power or a dominating position.\\nA slumped posture indicates boredom, alienation or feeling ashamed.\\nAn upright posture asserts confidence, but it also can exude hostility or a sense of uprightness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Trusting Your Intuition\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand intuition and its role in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Most people have, at some point, experienced a “gut feeling.” It seems to arise from nowhere but is quite distinct. Gut feelings make people feel in any number of ways. They can also cause a person to sense and know things without any logical explanation. And, at times, they spur a person to do things he or she might not otherwise.\\nThe famous psychotherapist, Carl Jung, said that all people use intuition as one of the four ways we function in life. The other three are feeling, thinking and sensing. This makes intuition distinct and not determined by the others.\\nEven though many people dismiss intuition as being either nonsense or luck, scientists are now saying it's a very real ability that's been identified in lab settings and on bran scans.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discover traits of the intuitive person.\", \"描述\": \"Researchers say that everyone is born with intuition, but not everyone is open to believing in it or willing to listen to it. And some people are more intuitive than others. That may be because they were naturally born with a heightened awareness. It could be because they've seen it work in their lives. And it might be because, along the way, they learned to notice and pick up on subtle cues from others and the environment.\\nOften those who are very intuitive are also particularly people-focused. They are more easily able to sense what others are feeling.\\nThey're generally more emotionally oriented than analytical.\\nThey frequently make decisions quickly and efficiently. They're able to do this because they use past experiences and emotions to guide them.\\nWomen are often more intuitive than men. This could be the result of an evolutionary process that's made women particularly conscious of human responses and social stimuli.\\nAnd there is evidence that some people can go a step beyond what's even normal in this realm. There's documentation of people knowing events have occurred far away, even though they have no prior knowledge of the event or factual basis to explain how they knew.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize some of the signs.\", \"描述\": \"Scientific studies have shown that highly intuitive people experience changes in their heart rate and get sweaty palms when they are exposed to deceit. They believe it is a response to the stress of subconsciously knowing or suspecting they were being tricked. This seems to indicate that our instincts kick in and cause physical sensations first. Our minds catch up quickly, but second.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to become more intuitive.\", \"描述\": \"Though intuition varies, there are things you can do to become more intuitive if you practice and have an open mind. The most basic way is to still (calm) your mind so you can a) listen to your inner voice and b) learn to be more observant of your environment and the people in it.\\nPay attention to sensations that seem to come out of the blue and have no logical explanation. Our brain's amygdala, which generates the fight-or-flight instinct, is able to activate, process and respond to cues and information before we are consciously aware they exist. It can also process images (and initiate our response to them) that pass before our eyes so fast that we cannot even see them.\\nResearchers believe this stems from our very ancient ancestors' need to quickly gather and assess information if they wanted to survive.\\nGet plenty of REM sleep. During REM, our brains problem solve, connect pieces of information and are most in tune with emotions.\\nBefore you go to sleep, write down a problem or worry you have. Think about it for a bit, and then let your brain come up with an intuitive solution during REM.\\nDistract your conscious mind so your intuitive mind has a chance to do its work. Research shows that our intuitive mind processes information even when we're not consciously paying attention to that information.\\nIn fact, the decisions a person makes when distracted have been shown to often be the correct ones. If you have a problem or concern, think through your options. Then stop and concentrate on something else. Go with the first solution that comes to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check your gut decisions against the facts.\", \"描述\": \"Growing scientific evidence supports the wisdom of many intuitive decisions. Issues such as extreme distress can distort that intuitive processing, though, and lead to bad decision-making. Gut reactions and hunches are not always accurate. A smart approach is to listen to your gut and, at the same time, evaluate what it's telling you against the evidence.\\nAlso factor in your emotions. Were they extreme when you got the gut feeling?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practicing Meditation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meditate to improve perception.\", \"描述\": \"Buddhists have been practicing meditation for more than 2,500 years. Now roughly 10% of Americans meditate as well. Several studies have been conducted showing that meditation can significantly improve perception. Participants in one study were able to detect small visual variations. They had abnormally long attention spans as well. Another demonstrated that the regions in the brain associated with a) sensitivity to body signals and b) sensory processing have increased grey matter when a person regularly meditates.\\nGrey matter is a type of tissue in the Central Nervous System that processes information and triggers a sensory response to it.\\nIt is believed that meditating creates more neural connections in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This region processes sensory information, handles rational decision-making and regulates the amygdala.\\nTeaching yourself to relax, to tune things out, and to be receptive – rather than reactive – to the moment enhances your ability to receive cues around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn about the types of meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation is an umbrella term for the ways you can achieve a relaxed state of being. Different types of meditation have different meditative processes. Here are some of the most widely practiced types of meditation.\\nGuided meditation is led by a teacher, therapist or guide who talks you through visualizing images of people, places, things and experiences that you find relaxing.\\nMantra meditation involves repeating a calming word, thought or phrase to prevent distracting thoughts from entering your mind.\\nMindfulness meditation asks that you focus on the present moment and your breathing. Observe your thoughts and emotions without judging them harshly.\\nQi gong combines meditation, physical movement, breathing exercises and relaxation to restore balance in your thinking.\\nTai chi is a form of the Chinese martial arts, but movements and postures are slow. You need to also focus on deep breathing.\\nTranscendental meditation involves silently repeating a personal mantra – a word, sound or phrase – to get your body into a state of deep relaxation. Here your mind can strive for inner peace.\\nYoga is the practice of performing a series of postures and breathing exercises to create a more flexible body and a calm mind. Going from one pose to another requires concentration and balance. Therefore, the emphasis is on thinking only of the present moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discover ways to practice it daily.\", \"描述\": \"You can practice meditation on your own at any point in the day. You don't need a formal class. The length of time you meditate is not as important as doing it regularly, and to the point of relaxation.\\nBreathe deeply and slowly through your nose. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale. When your mind wanders, focus back on your breathing.\\nScan your body and become aware of any sensations you feel. Focus your attention on different parts of your body. Combine this with breathing exercises to relax each part of your body.\\nCreate your own mantra and repeat it throughout the day.\\nWalk slowly, anywhere, and focus on the movement of your legs and feet. Repeat action words in your mind, such as “lifting” or “moving,\\\" as you place one foot in front of another.\\nPray in spoken or written form using your own words or those written by others.\\nRead poetry or books that are sacred to you, and then reflect on the meaning of what you read. You can also listen to music or spoken words that are inspiring or relaxing. Afterward, write down your reflections or discuss them with another, if you choose.\\nFocus on a sacred object or being and think loving, compassionate and grateful thoughts. You can also close your eyes and visualize the object or being.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,955 | How to Be More Physically Attractive (Men) | 1. Increasing Your Face's Attractiveness
1-1. Sleep more.
If you don't get enough sleep, or your sleep is interrupted through the night, you'll end up having more wrinkles on your forehead, and your eyes and cheeks will be redder if you're fair-skinned. Try to go to bed earlier if you aren't getting enough sleep at night. If your sleep is interrupted by a medical condition like sleep apnea or you have insomnia, talk to your doctor about treatments that can help you get a good night's rest.
Adults between the ages of 18-64 require seven to nine hours of sleep per night, while teenagers require eight to ten hours of sleep.
1-2. Get a haircut.
If you feel like you're stuck and can't change your look, consider getting a new haircut. If you've had the same style forever, you may be surprised at how much it can change your look. Your hair helps frame your face, so think about your facial features and how to best compliment them.
For example, if you have a thick jaw, it may be a good idea to grow your hair out on the sides to balance your face.
Experiment with different haircuts and ask your friends what looks best.
Ask a stylist for suggestions. You can say, "I'm going for a suave and sophisticated look. Do you have any ideas?"
If you like a haircut of an actor or musician, bring in a picture of him and see if the stylist can replicate it.
1-3. Consider growing a beard.
Growing a beard may make you more attractive. It all depends on the existing symmetry and construction of your face, and your ability to grow facial hair. The most attractive facial hair is "heavy stubble" or a beard that hasn't been shaved in about ten days.
If your beard grows out in patches, consider staying cleanly shaven or try to grow a goatee.
Growing a beard can make your chin look broader.
1-4. Keep your skin clear.
Clear skin indicates that someone is healthy and happy, while acne-prone skin can be a turnoff for some people. Wash your face daily and try to find moisturizers and face scrubs that work with your skin. If you are having problems with keeping your skin clear, consider changing your diet so it includes more fruits and vegetables and make an appointment to see a dermatologist who can diagnose and treat your acne or any skin rashes.
Olive oil, tomatoes, and dark chocolate have been shown to promote clear skin.
Consuming an excess of unhealthy and sugary foods can lead to bad skin.
2. Dressing Attractively
2-1. Dress to feel confident.
When you wear nice clothes, you feel good. Feeling confident and comfortable will make you appear more physically attractive to other people. Try to dress nicer than those around you. Make sure that your clothes are well fitted and not too baggy or tight. If you have no fashion sense, or you're not sure what to wear, ask a friend or a sales associate for advice.
Keep your clothes clean, pressed, and neat. For the most part, this will make you appear more attractive.
It's more important to wear well-fitting clothes than it is to wear expensive clothes. Always make sure your clothes fit you well. If they don't, consider finding a tailor.
2-2. Wear red and black colored clothes.
Red and black are the most attractive colors that men can wear. Wearing these colors has a biological significance that makes you subconsciously more attractive to other people. Black and red demonstrate dominance, attractiveness, and aggressiveness in men, and could enhance your look.
Your style of dress still matters regardless of the color. If you look offputting or antisocial, the general public probably won't find you attractive.
2-3. Be yourself.
While following these steps will help you appear more attractive to the general public, being yourself also plays a key role in how other people perceive you. Dressing in an outfit that feels forced or unnatural will hurt your outward confidence. Being yourself will enhance your attractiveness to others.
Just because other people don't like a certain style of dress doesn't mean that you shouldn't.
Try to inject your personal style into your clothing. For example, if you're known to be more energetic, try wearing bright colors to represent your light personality.
3. Working on Your Physique
3-1. Maintain good posture.
Keep good posture by putting your shoulders back and holding your head high. Slouching over or having bad posture shows a lack of confidence and will make you appear less attractive to others. Practice maintaining good posture throughout your day by being aware of how your back is curved while you sit or stand. When you notice yourself slouching over, correct your posture.
If you are prone to slouching over, it may take some time to change the behavior.
3-2. Work out regularly.
Lean muscle is perceived to be the most attractive body types for men. Try to maintain a fat to muscle ratio of 16% fat and 80% muscle to appear more attractive. A personal trainer of physician will be able to calculate your fat to muscle ratio.. Stay within the moderate rep range, or 10-12 reps, with a weight that remains challenging. Hit the gym or do exercises at home to achieve a leaner, more muscular body.
Do cardio exercises, like running, along with weightlifting exercises like the bench press, leg press, squats, and curls.
You can also join a sports team or take up an active hobby to help work out your body.
Exercises that will help build lean muscle include rock climbing and swimming.
People's tastes all differ, and some will not like the lean muscle.
Work out to feel more confident in your skin and aim to be a healthier person.
Some guys won't be able to attain a lean or muscular body, but it's okay. As long as you are working towards your goal, your chances of being perceived as being more attractive go up.
3-3. Get a tan if you have naturally pale skin.
Being tan is considered to be attractive by most people's contemporary standard of beauty. To get a tan, you can lay out under the sun, go to a tanning salon, or get a topical spray-on tan. The sun isn't the only way to tan. Eating certain vegetables will give you what's known as a Carotenoid tan, which when paired with a melanin tan, or natural tan, will make you appear more attractive. To get a Carotenoid tan, make sure you're regularly eating fruits and vegetables like sweet potatoes, tomato juice, carrots, red peppers, cantaloupe, and melon.
Tanning under UV light has been linked to cancer.
The tan you get from Carotenoids is sometimes referred to as a "glow."
Other than making you more attractive, most Carotenoids are also healthy for you.
3-4. Maintain good hygiene.
Maintaining your personal hygiene is an important factor when talking about your physical attractiveness. If you smell bad or look dirty, others will perceive it as negative. Things like a bad odor or unkempt clothing will often turn people off. Remember to use underarm deodorant and shower or bathe every day. Brush your teeth so your breath smells good.
Having good personal hygiene can also prevent harmful health conditions like head lice, athlete's foot, and infections.
Warnings
Don't go overboard on the cologne and hair products. For these, less is always more.[22]
X
Expert Source
Natalie TincherStyle Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist
Expert Interview. 13 August 2020.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental disorder where the person obsesses over thoughts of their physical appearance. If you constantly are thinking of your appearance and it's interfering with important things in life like work, family, or school, seek help from a mental health professional.
Don't allow others to define you. Beauty comes in many forms and shapes, and just because someone doesn't find you attractive, doesn't mean others won't.
Being healthy, happy, and confident are the most important tools to help you enhance your physical attractiveness.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Increasing Your Face's Attractiveness\\n1-1. Sleep more.\\nIf you don't get enough sleep, or your sleep is interrupted through the night, you'll end up having more wrinkles on your forehead, and your eyes and cheeks will be redder if you're fair-skinned. Try to go to bed earlier if you aren't getting enough sleep at night. If your sleep is interrupted by a medical condition like sleep apnea or you have insomnia, talk to your doctor about treatments that can help you get a good night's rest.\\nAdults between the ages of 18-64 require seven to nine hours of sleep per night, while teenagers require eight to ten hours of sleep.\\n1-2. Get a haircut.\\nIf you feel like you're stuck and can't change your look, consider getting a new haircut. If you've had the same style forever, you may be surprised at how much it can change your look. Your hair helps frame your face, so think about your facial features and how to best compliment them.\\nFor example, if you have a thick jaw, it may be a good idea to grow your hair out on the sides to balance your face.\\nExperiment with different haircuts and ask your friends what looks best.\\nAsk a stylist for suggestions. You can say, \\\"I'm going for a suave and sophisticated look. Do you have any ideas?\\\"\\nIf you like a haircut of an actor or musician, bring in a picture of him and see if the stylist can replicate it.\\n1-3. Consider growing a beard.\\nGrowing a beard may make you more attractive. It all depends on the existing symmetry and construction of your face, and your ability to grow facial hair. The most attractive facial hair is \\\"heavy stubble\\\" or a beard that hasn't been shaved in about ten days.\\nIf your beard grows out in patches, consider staying cleanly shaven or try to grow a goatee.\\nGrowing a beard can make your chin look broader.\\n1-4. Keep your skin clear.\\nClear skin indicates that someone is healthy and happy, while acne-prone skin can be a turnoff for some people. Wash your face daily and try to find moisturizers and face scrubs that work with your skin. If you are having problems with keeping your skin clear, consider changing your diet so it includes more fruits and vegetables and make an appointment to see a dermatologist who can diagnose and treat your acne or any skin rashes.\\nOlive oil, tomatoes, and dark chocolate have been shown to promote clear skin.\\nConsuming an excess of unhealthy and sugary foods can lead to bad skin.\\n2. Dressing Attractively\\n2-1. Dress to feel confident.\\nWhen you wear nice clothes, you feel good. Feeling confident and comfortable will make you appear more physically attractive to other people. Try to dress nicer than those around you. Make sure that your clothes are well fitted and not too baggy or tight. If you have no fashion sense, or you're not sure what to wear, ask a friend or a sales associate for advice.\\nKeep your clothes clean, pressed, and neat. For the most part, this will make you appear more attractive.\\nIt's more important to wear well-fitting clothes than it is to wear expensive clothes. Always make sure your clothes fit you well. If they don't, consider finding a tailor.\\n2-2. Wear red and black colored clothes.\\nRed and black are the most attractive colors that men can wear. Wearing these colors has a biological significance that makes you subconsciously more attractive to other people. Black and red demonstrate dominance, attractiveness, and aggressiveness in men, and could enhance your look.\\nYour style of dress still matters regardless of the color. If you look offputting or antisocial, the general public probably won't find you attractive.\\n2-3. Be yourself.\\nWhile following these steps will help you appear more attractive to the general public, being yourself also plays a key role in how other people perceive you. Dressing in an outfit that feels forced or unnatural will hurt your outward confidence. Being yourself will enhance your attractiveness to others.\\nJust because other people don't like a certain style of dress doesn't mean that you shouldn't.\\nTry to inject your personal style into your clothing. For example, if you're known to be more energetic, try wearing bright colors to represent your light personality.\\n3. Working on Your Physique\\n3-1. Maintain good posture.\\nKeep good posture by putting your shoulders back and holding your head high. Slouching over or having bad posture shows a lack of confidence and will make you appear less attractive to others. Practice maintaining good posture throughout your day by being aware of how your back is curved while you sit or stand. When you notice yourself slouching over, correct your posture.\\nIf you are prone to slouching over, it may take some time to change the behavior.\\n3-2. Work out regularly.\\nLean muscle is perceived to be the most attractive body types for men. Try to maintain a fat to muscle ratio of 16% fat and 80% muscle to appear more attractive. A personal trainer of physician will be able to calculate your fat to muscle ratio.. Stay within the moderate rep range, or 10-12 reps, with a weight that remains challenging. Hit the gym or do exercises at home to achieve a leaner, more muscular body.\\nDo cardio exercises, like running, along with weightlifting exercises like the bench press, leg press, squats, and curls.\\nYou can also join a sports team or take up an active hobby to help work out your body.\\nExercises that will help build lean muscle include rock climbing and swimming.\\nPeople's tastes all differ, and some will not like the lean muscle.\\nWork out to feel more confident in your skin and aim to be a healthier person.\\nSome guys won't be able to attain a lean or muscular body, but it's okay. As long as you are working towards your goal, your chances of being perceived as being more attractive go up.\\n3-3. Get a tan if you have naturally pale skin.\\nBeing tan is considered to be attractive by most people's contemporary standard of beauty. To get a tan, you can lay out under the sun, go to a tanning salon, or get a topical spray-on tan. The sun isn't the only way to tan. Eating certain vegetables will give you what's known as a Carotenoid tan, which when paired with a melanin tan, or natural tan, will make you appear more attractive. To get a Carotenoid tan, make sure you're regularly eating fruits and vegetables like sweet potatoes, tomato juice, carrots, red peppers, cantaloupe, and melon.\\nTanning under UV light has been linked to cancer.\\nThe tan you get from Carotenoids is sometimes referred to as a \\\"glow.\\\"\\nOther than making you more attractive, most Carotenoids are also healthy for you.\\n3-4. Maintain good hygiene.\\nMaintaining your personal hygiene is an important factor when talking about your physical attractiveness. If you smell bad or look dirty, others will perceive it as negative. Things like a bad odor or unkempt clothing will often turn people off. Remember to use underarm deodorant and shower or bathe every day. Brush your teeth so your breath smells good.\\nHaving good personal hygiene can also prevent harmful health conditions like head lice, athlete's foot, and infections.\\nWarnings\\nDon't go overboard on the cologne and hair products. For these, less is always more.[22]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nNatalie TincherStyle Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist\\nExpert Interview. 13 August 2020.\\nBody Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental disorder where the person obsesses over thoughts of their physical appearance. If you constantly are thinking of your appearance and it's interfering with important things in life like work, family, or school, seek help from a mental health professional.\\nDon't allow others to define you. Beauty comes in many forms and shapes, and just because someone doesn't find you attractive, doesn't mean others won't.\\nBeing healthy, happy, and confident are the most important tools to help you enhance your physical attractiveness.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being physically attractive is an aim for many people out there. Being confident about your looks can contribute to good physical and mental health, and can make you happier throughout the day. Though opinions vary and beauty is ultimately in the eye of the beholder, there are steps that you can take day-to-day that will make you more attractive to the general public. By being aware of how others perceive you and working to improve your physical appearance, being physically attractive is an attainable goal for anyone out there.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Increasing Your Face's Attractiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sleep more.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't get enough sleep, or your sleep is interrupted through the night, you'll end up having more wrinkles on your forehead, and your eyes and cheeks will be redder if you're fair-skinned. Try to go to bed earlier if you aren't getting enough sleep at night. If your sleep is interrupted by a medical condition like sleep apnea or you have insomnia, talk to your doctor about treatments that can help you get a good night's rest.\\nAdults between the ages of 18-64 require seven to nine hours of sleep per night, while teenagers require eight to ten hours of sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a haircut.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like you're stuck and can't change your look, consider getting a new haircut. If you've had the same style forever, you may be surprised at how much it can change your look. Your hair helps frame your face, so think about your facial features and how to best compliment them.\\nFor example, if you have a thick jaw, it may be a good idea to grow your hair out on the sides to balance your face.\\nExperiment with different haircuts and ask your friends what looks best.\\nAsk a stylist for suggestions. You can say, \\\"I'm going for a suave and sophisticated look. Do you have any ideas?\\\"\\nIf you like a haircut of an actor or musician, bring in a picture of him and see if the stylist can replicate it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider growing a beard.\", \"描述\": \"Growing a beard may make you more attractive. It all depends on the existing symmetry and construction of your face, and your ability to grow facial hair. The most attractive facial hair is \\\"heavy stubble\\\" or a beard that hasn't been shaved in about ten days.\\nIf your beard grows out in patches, consider staying cleanly shaven or try to grow a goatee.\\nGrowing a beard can make your chin look broader.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your skin clear.\", \"描述\": \"Clear skin indicates that someone is healthy and happy, while acne-prone skin can be a turnoff for some people. Wash your face daily and try to find moisturizers and face scrubs that work with your skin. If you are having problems with keeping your skin clear, consider changing your diet so it includes more fruits and vegetables and make an appointment to see a dermatologist who can diagnose and treat your acne or any skin rashes.\\nOlive oil, tomatoes, and dark chocolate have been shown to promote clear skin.\\nConsuming an excess of unhealthy and sugary foods can lead to bad skin.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing Attractively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress to feel confident.\", \"描述\": \"When you wear nice clothes, you feel good. Feeling confident and comfortable will make you appear more physically attractive to other people. Try to dress nicer than those around you. Make sure that your clothes are well fitted and not too baggy or tight. If you have no fashion sense, or you're not sure what to wear, ask a friend or a sales associate for advice.\\nKeep your clothes clean, pressed, and neat. For the most part, this will make you appear more attractive.\\nIt's more important to wear well-fitting clothes than it is to wear expensive clothes. Always make sure your clothes fit you well. If they don't, consider finding a tailor.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear red and black colored clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Red and black are the most attractive colors that men can wear. Wearing these colors has a biological significance that makes you subconsciously more attractive to other people. Black and red demonstrate dominance, attractiveness, and aggressiveness in men, and could enhance your look.\\nYour style of dress still matters regardless of the color. If you look offputting or antisocial, the general public probably won't find you attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"While following these steps will help you appear more attractive to the general public, being yourself also plays a key role in how other people perceive you. Dressing in an outfit that feels forced or unnatural will hurt your outward confidence. Being yourself will enhance your attractiveness to others.\\nJust because other people don't like a certain style of dress doesn't mean that you shouldn't.\\nTry to inject your personal style into your clothing. For example, if you're known to be more energetic, try wearing bright colors to represent your light personality.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Working on Your Physique\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture.\", \"描述\": \"Keep good posture by putting your shoulders back and holding your head high. Slouching over or having bad posture shows a lack of confidence and will make you appear less attractive to others. Practice maintaining good posture throughout your day by being aware of how your back is curved while you sit or stand. When you notice yourself slouching over, correct your posture.\\nIf you are prone to slouching over, it may take some time to change the behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work out regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Lean muscle is perceived to be the most attractive body types for men. Try to maintain a fat to muscle ratio of 16% fat and 80% muscle to appear more attractive. A personal trainer of physician will be able to calculate your fat to muscle ratio.. Stay within the moderate rep range, or 10-12 reps, with a weight that remains challenging. Hit the gym or do exercises at home to achieve a leaner, more muscular body.\\nDo cardio exercises, like running, along with weightlifting exercises like the bench press, leg press, squats, and curls.\\nYou can also join a sports team or take up an active hobby to help work out your body.\\nExercises that will help build lean muscle include rock climbing and swimming.\\nPeople's tastes all differ, and some will not like the lean muscle.\\nWork out to feel more confident in your skin and aim to be a healthier person.\\nSome guys won't be able to attain a lean or muscular body, but it's okay. As long as you are working towards your goal, your chances of being perceived as being more attractive go up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a tan if you have naturally pale skin.\", \"描述\": \"Being tan is considered to be attractive by most people's contemporary standard of beauty. To get a tan, you can lay out under the sun, go to a tanning salon, or get a topical spray-on tan. The sun isn't the only way to tan. Eating certain vegetables will give you what's known as a Carotenoid tan, which when paired with a melanin tan, or natural tan, will make you appear more attractive. To get a Carotenoid tan, make sure you're regularly eating fruits and vegetables like sweet potatoes, tomato juice, carrots, red peppers, cantaloupe, and melon.\\nTanning under UV light has been linked to cancer.\\nThe tan you get from Carotenoids is sometimes referred to as a \\\"glow.\\\"\\nOther than making you more attractive, most Carotenoids are also healthy for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Maintaining your personal hygiene is an important factor when talking about your physical attractiveness. If you smell bad or look dirty, others will perceive it as negative. Things like a bad odor or unkempt clothing will often turn people off. Remember to use underarm deodorant and shower or bathe every day. Brush your teeth so your breath smells good.\\nHaving good personal hygiene can also prevent harmful health conditions like head lice, athlete's foot, and infections.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't go overboard on the cologne and hair products. For these, less is always more.[22]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nNatalie TincherStyle Strategist & Wardrobe Specialist\\nExpert Interview. 13 August 2020.\\n\", \"Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental disorder where the person obsesses over thoughts of their physical appearance. If you constantly are thinking of your appearance and it's interfering with important things in life like work, family, or school, seek help from a mental health professional.\\n\", \"Don't allow others to define you. Beauty comes in many forms and shapes, and just because someone doesn't find you attractive, doesn't mean others won't.\\n\", \"Being healthy, happy, and confident are the most important tools to help you enhance your physical attractiveness.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,956 | How to Be More Popular on Twitter | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand what Twitter is and what it is not.
Twitter is an online social networking place, like the watercooler of the internet. It's a place of connection, friendships, and networking. Things that Twitter is include assuming that it's nothing more than a sales forum (despite the many people who abuse this repeatedly), an obligatory add-on to your company's social media strategy without tending to it actively (daily!), or a place to spar with people.
The mistake many people make is to dive right into Twitter and promote their website in nearly every single tweet. This is a big mistake! You wouldn't do that in real life, so don't do it on Twitter.
The balance needs to be: more personal updates and less leads to things you want people to purchase.
1-2. Be authentic.
Although the cliché "be yourself" is a bit overdone, it's highly applicable to Twitter. Followers trust that you are presenting yourself genuinely and this will only resonate where you give of yourself to other people. As in real life, it's important to be interesting, and to be interested in others.
Provide your real name and occupation or interests. This builds up a bigger picture of who you really are and reassures your followers. Don't say anything that would bore your follows. You need them to be "happy"
If possible, provide a link in your Twitter profile to work you're doing online or to something that tells more about you online (such as LinkedIn or Facebook).
Customize your Twitter photo and background. Twitter followers don't like seeing the standard Twitter bird as a photo - use one of yourself or something that identifies clearly with you. In addition, add your own colors and maybe even designs or photos to enliven the background of your Twitter page.
1-3. Interact
Twitter is about relationships and friendships. You can grow to know a lot of amazing people through your Twitter account just by interacting with them regularly, and many will become firm friends even though you've never actually met them.
Be sure to reply to all @ messages. If your name is mentioned, it means someone cares enough to include you, and it's important to acknowledge this by replying.
Retweet (RT) people's information regularly and with consistency. This is the lifeblood of Twitter, the sharing of information through retweeting. It's a form of respect and a way of acknowledging that the person being retweeted is sharing information worthy of retweeting about.
Communicate with Twitter users who are already popular. If they notice you and like what they see, they'll help you in your "social media climbing" by sharing your information with their followers, and hopefully recommending you as well.
Leave your Twitter address with comments that you make on blog sites so that people can work their way back to the real you and learn more.
1-4. Provide information other people want to know and share.
You'll only be retweeted and followed if you're providing a Twitter-stream that grabs people's attention. Once you've established yourself as someone who shares certain types of information, be sure to keep providing fresh, fascinating, and curious updates.
Include links to interesting stories, news items, websites, recipes, etc.
Also send links to photos, videos, and other visual treats for followers to look at. Cute animals are often a winner as light relief!
Keep the updates flowing at a regular pace so that people know they can turn to you reliably.
If a disaster or major event happens in your locality or country, don't be afraid to switching to it in addition to, or in place of your normal tweets. Share updates and useful information such as phone numbers, emergency information, and shelter addresses, etc. People will readily share this information with your name on it, and you can easily end up meeting many people who are in the thick of providing emergency services, grateful for your support in getting the information out.
Bake some Twitter cookies and share the recipe link and the photos of your resulting cookies with your followers.
1-5. Build your popularity.
To be popular, you will need more and more followers, people who are retweeting your information, and singing your praises to their followers.
Follow people. Do this as a daily ritual by focusing on people you have things in common with. Use the Twitter search engine to find people with similar interests; key in words that are likely to make appropriate returns such as "Super Bowl", "vegan", "burlesque", "cheese", "mom", etc. Half the fun is in finding new people "just like you"!
Follow back those who follow you. Regularly add new people to those you follow, as well as regularly adding people who have added you.
Use automated follower adder tools if wished. If you decide to pay for more followers, be sure that there is a benefit in doing so, for your business, brand, or image, etc. For most individuals, payment is unnecessary; use your time and personal effort wisely instead.
Monitor your popularity using tools that tell you your popularity status. There are many tools available for this, and they can be focused on country, region, topic (such as "Top LA Tweeters", "Top Green Tweeters", etc.), or other elements you're keen to know about.
Read How to get more followers on Twitter and How to keep your followers on Twitter for more details.
1-6. Reward your followers.
There are a number of ways to reward your Twitter followers that will impress them and have them tooting your horn with their followers. Some of the ways include:
Use the #FollowFriday (#FF) mechanism to list the names of your favorite followers by way of thanks, and as a way of getting their names circulated. In turn, your name gets circulated when they thank you or reuse your #FF list directly.
Tailor individual thanks to your followers. Personalizing thanks is impressive; it not only thrills the person you're thanking but it makes other followers think you're someone who cares about people individually and this is an important impression to make. One great way of doing this is to pick up portions of their profile and to say thanks by replicating this person's main points. For example, "My gratitude to @BilbowikiHow - a social media guru with a heart of gold who specializes in horticulture, laughter yoga, & Dr Who memorabilia. Please follow"
Say thanks to your followers in a blog. Make it really special by singling out particular followers for your blog post. Write a small piece on who they are, what they do, and why they rock. Include their photo and a link back to Twitter. And then let them and your other followers know via Twitter! This one is always loved and shows you really do care about them. The added benefit is that your blog also gets greater coverage as followers share it on.
1-7. Always focus on the purpose of Twitter as being about connectedness.
Any time you feel like promoting yourself endlessly, pull back and remember that Twitter is about connecting and relating, not about selling teeth whitener to your pals. The networks of friendship created online are as real as offline friendships for many people. Just it is easy to wear out friendships by asking friends one time too many to support your Tupperware or Avon sales, so too this wearies friends online. Keep the selling to a minimum, and ratchet up the connecting, sharing, and Twitter loving.
1-8. Tweet things that people can relate to.
No one wants to hear about your complaints all the time, so try to tweet some positive things. Also, following your followers shows people that if they follow you, then they also gain a follower.
Tips
Remember, Twitter is a social networking site, so don't go off the radar for months, at least not without an explanation.
Understand the difference between making a request and making a demand. Occasionally asking someone to pass on your message for a good cause is fine. But asking people to RT your messages as a matter of course is impolite and demanding. Give your followers the benefit of trusting their intelligence; they'll work out for themselves whether or not they want to pass on your tweets.
Consider adding a Twibbon to your profile photo to demonstrate that you support certain causes or events. Keep it regularly updated and remove it when it's stale.
Warnings
Do not intimidate followers by sending DMs that insinuate that the other person is not being a good Twitter friend because they're not retweeting enough, or not supporting you enough. This is both demanding and bullying and will cause the other person to withdraw from you and maybe even to unfollow you.
Frequent attempts to intimidate your followers may also get you shadowbanned on Twitter.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand what Twitter is and what it is not.\\nTwitter is an online social networking place, like the watercooler of the internet. It's a place of connection, friendships, and networking. Things that Twitter is include assuming that it's nothing more than a sales forum (despite the many people who abuse this repeatedly), an obligatory add-on to your company's social media strategy without tending to it actively (daily!), or a place to spar with people.\\nThe mistake many people make is to dive right into Twitter and promote their website in nearly every single tweet. This is a big mistake! You wouldn't do that in real life, so don't do it on Twitter.\\nThe balance needs to be: more personal updates and less leads to things you want people to purchase.\\n1-2. Be authentic.\\nAlthough the cliché \\\"be yourself\\\" is a bit overdone, it's highly applicable to Twitter. Followers trust that you are presenting yourself genuinely and this will only resonate where you give of yourself to other people. As in real life, it's important to be interesting, and to be interested in others.\\nProvide your real name and occupation or interests. This builds up a bigger picture of who you really are and reassures your followers. Don't say anything that would bore your follows. You need them to be \\\"happy\\\"\\nIf possible, provide a link in your Twitter profile to work you're doing online or to something that tells more about you online (such as LinkedIn or Facebook).\\nCustomize your Twitter photo and background. Twitter followers don't like seeing the standard Twitter bird as a photo - use one of yourself or something that identifies clearly with you. In addition, add your own colors and maybe even designs or photos to enliven the background of your Twitter page.\\n1-3. Interact\\nTwitter is about relationships and friendships. You can grow to know a lot of amazing people through your Twitter account just by interacting with them regularly, and many will become firm friends even though you've never actually met them.\\nBe sure to reply to all @ messages. If your name is mentioned, it means someone cares enough to include you, and it's important to acknowledge this by replying.\\nRetweet (RT) people's information regularly and with consistency. This is the lifeblood of Twitter, the sharing of information through retweeting. It's a form of respect and a way of acknowledging that the person being retweeted is sharing information worthy of retweeting about.\\nCommunicate with Twitter users who are already popular. If they notice you and like what they see, they'll help you in your \\\"social media climbing\\\" by sharing your information with their followers, and hopefully recommending you as well.\\nLeave your Twitter address with comments that you make on blog sites so that people can work their way back to the real you and learn more.\\n1-4. Provide information other people want to know and share.\\nYou'll only be retweeted and followed if you're providing a Twitter-stream that grabs people's attention. Once you've established yourself as someone who shares certain types of information, be sure to keep providing fresh, fascinating, and curious updates.\\nInclude links to interesting stories, news items, websites, recipes, etc.\\nAlso send links to photos, videos, and other visual treats for followers to look at. Cute animals are often a winner as light relief!\\nKeep the updates flowing at a regular pace so that people know they can turn to you reliably.\\nIf a disaster or major event happens in your locality or country, don't be afraid to switching to it in addition to, or in place of your normal tweets. Share updates and useful information such as phone numbers, emergency information, and shelter addresses, etc. People will readily share this information with your name on it, and you can easily end up meeting many people who are in the thick of providing emergency services, grateful for your support in getting the information out.\\nBake some Twitter cookies and share the recipe link and the photos of your resulting cookies with your followers.\\n1-5. Build your popularity.\\nTo be popular, you will need more and more followers, people who are retweeting your information, and singing your praises to their followers.\\nFollow people. Do this as a daily ritual by focusing on people you have things in common with. Use the Twitter search engine to find people with similar interests; key in words that are likely to make appropriate returns such as \\\"Super Bowl\\\", \\\"vegan\\\", \\\"burlesque\\\", \\\"cheese\\\", \\\"mom\\\", etc. Half the fun is in finding new people \\\"just like you\\\"!\\nFollow back those who follow you. Regularly add new people to those you follow, as well as regularly adding people who have added you.\\nUse automated follower adder tools if wished. If you decide to pay for more followers, be sure that there is a benefit in doing so, for your business, brand, or image, etc. For most individuals, payment is unnecessary; use your time and personal effort wisely instead.\\nMonitor your popularity using tools that tell you your popularity status. There are many tools available for this, and they can be focused on country, region, topic (such as \\\"Top LA Tweeters\\\", \\\"Top Green Tweeters\\\", etc.), or other elements you're keen to know about.\\nRead How to get more followers on Twitter and How to keep your followers on Twitter for more details.\\n1-6. Reward your followers.\\nThere are a number of ways to reward your Twitter followers that will impress them and have them tooting your horn with their followers. Some of the ways include:\\nUse the #FollowFriday (#FF) mechanism to list the names of your favorite followers by way of thanks, and as a way of getting their names circulated. In turn, your name gets circulated when they thank you or reuse your #FF list directly.\\nTailor individual thanks to your followers. Personalizing thanks is impressive; it not only thrills the person you're thanking but it makes other followers think you're someone who cares about people individually and this is an important impression to make. One great way of doing this is to pick up portions of their profile and to say thanks by replicating this person's main points. For example, \\\"My gratitude to @BilbowikiHow - a social media guru with a heart of gold who specializes in horticulture, laughter yoga, & Dr Who memorabilia. Please follow\\\"\\nSay thanks to your followers in a blog. Make it really special by singling out particular followers for your blog post. Write a small piece on who they are, what they do, and why they rock. Include their photo and a link back to Twitter. And then let them and your other followers know via Twitter! This one is always loved and shows you really do care about them. The added benefit is that your blog also gets greater coverage as followers share it on.\\n1-7. Always focus on the purpose of Twitter as being about connectedness.\\nAny time you feel like promoting yourself endlessly, pull back and remember that Twitter is about connecting and relating, not about selling teeth whitener to your pals. The networks of friendship created online are as real as offline friendships for many people. Just it is easy to wear out friendships by asking friends one time too many to support your Tupperware or Avon sales, so too this wearies friends online. Keep the selling to a minimum, and ratchet up the connecting, sharing, and Twitter loving.\\n1-8. Tweet things that people can relate to.\\nNo one wants to hear about your complaints all the time, so try to tweet some positive things. Also, following your followers shows people that if they follow you, then they also gain a follower.\\nTips\\nRemember, Twitter is a social networking site, so don't go off the radar for months, at least not without an explanation.\\nUnderstand the difference between making a request and making a demand. Occasionally asking someone to pass on your message for a good cause is fine. But asking people to RT your messages as a matter of course is impolite and demanding. Give your followers the benefit of trusting their intelligence; they'll work out for themselves whether or not they want to pass on your tweets.\\nConsider adding a Twibbon to your profile photo to demonstrate that you support certain causes or events. Keep it regularly updated and remove it when it's stale.\\nWarnings\\nDo not intimidate followers by sending DMs that insinuate that the other person is not being a good Twitter friend because they're not retweeting enough, or not supporting you enough. This is both demanding and bullying and will cause the other person to withdraw from you and maybe even to unfollow you.\\nFrequent attempts to intimidate your followers may also get you shadowbanned on Twitter.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a popular and influential person or company on Twitter isn't as easy as opening an account, yet it's also not as complicated or straightforward as following a rulebook. A lot of popularity will derive from who you are in relation to your followers, including how personable you are and the connectedness that you create. Here are some best practices to let your personality shine through, rather than your self-promotion!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what Twitter is and what it is not.\", \"描述\": \"Twitter is an online social networking place, like the watercooler of the internet. It's a place of connection, friendships, and networking. Things that Twitter is include assuming that it's nothing more than a sales forum (despite the many people who abuse this repeatedly), an obligatory add-on to your company's social media strategy without tending to it actively (daily!), or a place to spar with people.\\nThe mistake many people make is to dive right into Twitter and promote their website in nearly every single tweet. This is a big mistake! You wouldn't do that in real life, so don't do it on Twitter.\\nThe balance needs to be: more personal updates and less leads to things you want people to purchase.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be authentic.\", \"描述\": \"Although the cliché \\\"be yourself\\\" is a bit overdone, it's highly applicable to Twitter. Followers trust that you are presenting yourself genuinely and this will only resonate where you give of yourself to other people. As in real life, it's important to be interesting, and to be interested in others.\\nProvide your real name and occupation or interests. This builds up a bigger picture of who you really are and reassures your followers. Don't say anything that would bore your follows. You need them to be \\\"happy\\\"\\nIf possible, provide a link in your Twitter profile to work you're doing online or to something that tells more about you online (such as LinkedIn or Facebook).\\nCustomize your Twitter photo and background. Twitter followers don't like seeing the standard Twitter bird as a photo - use one of yourself or something that identifies clearly with you. In addition, add your own colors and maybe even designs or photos to enliven the background of your Twitter page.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interact\", \"描述\": \"Twitter is about relationships and friendships. You can grow to know a lot of amazing people through your Twitter account just by interacting with them regularly, and many will become firm friends even though you've never actually met them.\\nBe sure to reply to all @ messages. If your name is mentioned, it means someone cares enough to include you, and it's important to acknowledge this by replying.\\nRetweet (RT) people's information regularly and with consistency. This is the lifeblood of Twitter, the sharing of information through retweeting. It's a form of respect and a way of acknowledging that the person being retweeted is sharing information worthy of retweeting about.\\nCommunicate with Twitter users who are already popular. If they notice you and like what they see, they'll help you in your \\\"social media climbing\\\" by sharing your information with their followers, and hopefully recommending you as well.\\nLeave your Twitter address with comments that you make on blog sites so that people can work their way back to the real you and learn more.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide information other people want to know and share.\", \"描述\": \"You'll only be retweeted and followed if you're providing a Twitter-stream that grabs people's attention. Once you've established yourself as someone who shares certain types of information, be sure to keep providing fresh, fascinating, and curious updates.\\nInclude links to interesting stories, news items, websites, recipes, etc.\\nAlso send links to photos, videos, and other visual treats for followers to look at. Cute animals are often a winner as light relief!\\nKeep the updates flowing at a regular pace so that people know they can turn to you reliably.\\nIf a disaster or major event happens in your locality or country, don't be afraid to switching to it in addition to, or in place of your normal tweets. Share updates and useful information such as phone numbers, emergency information, and shelter addresses, etc. People will readily share this information with your name on it, and you can easily end up meeting many people who are in the thick of providing emergency services, grateful for your support in getting the information out.\\nBake some Twitter cookies and share the recipe link and the photos of your resulting cookies with your followers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build your popularity.\", \"描述\": \"To be popular, you will need more and more followers, people who are retweeting your information, and singing your praises to their followers.\\nFollow people. Do this as a daily ritual by focusing on people you have things in common with. Use the Twitter search engine to find people with similar interests; key in words that are likely to make appropriate returns such as \\\"Super Bowl\\\", \\\"vegan\\\", \\\"burlesque\\\", \\\"cheese\\\", \\\"mom\\\", etc. Half the fun is in finding new people \\\"just like you\\\"!\\nFollow back those who follow you. Regularly add new people to those you follow, as well as regularly adding people who have added you.\\nUse automated follower adder tools if wished. If you decide to pay for more followers, be sure that there is a benefit in doing so, for your business, brand, or image, etc. For most individuals, payment is unnecessary; use your time and personal effort wisely instead.\\nMonitor your popularity using tools that tell you your popularity status. There are many tools available for this, and they can be focused on country, region, topic (such as \\\"Top LA Tweeters\\\", \\\"Top Green Tweeters\\\", etc.), or other elements you're keen to know about.\\nRead How to get more followers on Twitter and How to keep your followers on Twitter for more details.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reward your followers.\", \"描述\": \"There are a number of ways to reward your Twitter followers that will impress them and have them tooting your horn with their followers. Some of the ways include:\\nUse the #FollowFriday (#FF) mechanism to list the names of your favorite followers by way of thanks, and as a way of getting their names circulated. In turn, your name gets circulated when they thank you or reuse your #FF list directly.\\nTailor individual thanks to your followers. Personalizing thanks is impressive; it not only thrills the person you're thanking but it makes other followers think you're someone who cares about people individually and this is an important impression to make. One great way of doing this is to pick up portions of their profile and to say thanks by replicating this person's main points. For example, \\\"My gratitude to @BilbowikiHow - a social media guru with a heart of gold who specializes in horticulture, laughter yoga, & Dr Who memorabilia. Please follow\\\"\\nSay thanks to your followers in a blog. Make it really special by singling out particular followers for your blog post. Write a small piece on who they are, what they do, and why they rock. Include their photo and a link back to Twitter. And then let them and your other followers know via Twitter! This one is always loved and shows you really do care about them. The added benefit is that your blog also gets greater coverage as followers share it on.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Always focus on the purpose of Twitter as being about connectedness.\", \"描述\": \"Any time you feel like promoting yourself endlessly, pull back and remember that Twitter is about connecting and relating, not about selling teeth whitener to your pals. The networks of friendship created online are as real as offline friendships for many people. Just it is easy to wear out friendships by asking friends one time too many to support your Tupperware or Avon sales, so too this wearies friends online. Keep the selling to a minimum, and ratchet up the connecting, sharing, and Twitter loving.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tweet things that people can relate to.\", \"描述\": \"No one wants to hear about your complaints all the time, so try to tweet some positive things. Also, following your followers shows people that if they follow you, then they also gain a follower.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember, Twitter is a social networking site, so don't go off the radar for months, at least not without an explanation.\\n\", \"Understand the difference between making a request and making a demand. Occasionally asking someone to pass on your message for a good cause is fine. But asking people to RT your messages as a matter of course is impolite and demanding. Give your followers the benefit of trusting their intelligence; they'll work out for themselves whether or not they want to pass on your tweets.\\n\", \"Consider adding a Twibbon to your profile photo to demonstrate that you support certain causes or events. Keep it regularly updated and remove it when it's stale.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not intimidate followers by sending DMs that insinuate that the other person is not being a good Twitter friend because they're not retweeting enough, or not supporting you enough. This is both demanding and bullying and will cause the other person to withdraw from you and maybe even to unfollow you.\\n\", \"Frequent attempts to intimidate your followers may also get you shadowbanned on Twitter.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,957 | How to Be More Productive | 1. Getting Organized
1-1. Set a routine.
Plot out recurring times in your schedule when you can focus your energies on the specific tasks you need to accomplish. Incorporate them into you existing daily routines (getting ready for work, lunchtime, etc.). Just as your body tells you "this is lunchtime" around the time you normally eat, you will become more attuned to feeling that "this is productive time."
1-2. Break up larger tasks.
Don't focus on needing to write the entire book or paint the whole house; focus on finishing a chapter or a room. The sense of accomplishment will help keep you going, and it provides a way to mark your progress towards the larger goal.
1-3. Create deadlines.
Remember that time you had to finish a college term paper in one night? When there is a clear time limit, you have no choice but to focus your energies and stick to the essentials of your goal.
If you're already on a deadline, set up mini-deadlines for components of the task.
Try to be strict with yourself as it is easy to break self-created deadlines. Put your deadline up against an appointment you can't miss or just set an egg timer.
1-4. Establish the right amount of time to finish the job.
"Work expands to fill the time" -- what sounds like old-fashioned wisdom can also be expressed by mathematical formulas, but the point of Parkinson's Law remains the same. Basically, if you give yourself all day to accomplish a task, you'll find a way to take all day to do it (or overdo it, that is). Figure out the minimum amount of time you need to do the job up to the necessary standard.
1-5. Plan but be flexible.
Do all the routine-making and deadline-setting you can, but also realize that life will intervene and you will need to be able to adjust. Don't let disruptions throw you completely off your rhythm. See if you can find ways to take advantage of them, or at least brush them off.
For example, if you're trying to finish up a presentation for tomorrow morning and the power goes out, recruit someone to help you practice the Q&A session that follows until power is restored. Or even use it to make a lame joke the next day about how a competitor tried to sabotage your clearly blackout-proof presentation.
2. Listening to Your Body
2-1. Know oneself.
If you're a morning person or a "night owl," take advantage of that. Maximize your most productive times. If music helps you focus, use it; if it distracts you, forget it.
Think about what has worked when you've been productive in the past. Did your college finals studying go better when you holed up in a silent corner of the library or when your room-mates were playing video games three feet away?
2-2. Take "mindless breaks."
When your brain is fried and you need to step away, do it. Watch a soap opera, walk your dog, clean a few of those dusty shelves you've been meaning to get to.
Expect to need such breaks and factor them into your schedule. This way you won't feel like you're wasting time while you're, well, wasting time (but in a positive way).
2-3. Get out in the sun.
Natural sunlight helps keep your body rhythms balanced, gives you energy, and just plain feels good. Take a walk or work by a window when you can.
2-4. Exercise.
It breaks up the monotony of the day, relieves stress, helps you refocus your mind, and it's good for you.
2-5. Do a "brain dump."
As you work on a project, your mind will fill up with ideas, some relevant to the current task, some not. If you're feeling bogged down or stuck as you try to figure out a task, work on emptying your mind of distracting ideas. But keep them around just in case!
Jot down your scattered ideas in a notepad (or your preferred more technologically advanced device) at the end of the day or when you're feeling mentally overloaded.
Don't worry about connecting all the dots right now. This is another form of brainstorming; get the ideas out, figure out what works, what doesn't, and how they connect later.
3. Prioritizing
3-1. Be realistic.
Some people who think they are unproductive are in fact productive people who just expect too much of themselves. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Productive people aren't 'super-humans'; they know what they can accomplish (and their limits) and focus on getting the job done.
Consider whether you would ask someone else to accomplish as much as you're attempting. If you would feel bad asking someone else to do that much, you're probably asking too much of yourself.
At the end of the day, write down a list of all that you did accomplish. It might surprise you, and it will give you something else to look at other than that lengthy to-do list you started with that morning.
3-2. Keep it simple.
Think about the essential element(s) of what it is you want or need to accomplish. It is easier to hit a clear target.
Focus on your results, not on the time it takes to get there. After all, we're usually judged on results. We don't care how long it took the baker to make our wedding cake or what methods he used; we just want it to look and taste great.
3-3. Determine the importance and urgency of your tasks.
Like a good general (and pretty decent President) should, Dwight Eisenhower knew how to get things done. He made a point of determining what was truly important and truly urgent, and was known to say "What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important."
The Eisenhower Box breaks tasks into four categories: Important and Urgent (do those now); Important but Not Urgent (decide when you want to do those later); Not Important but Urgent (delegate those to others); Not Important and Not Urgent (delete those from your list).
Of course, not everyone has the same ability to delegate tasks as does a general or President, but such tasks can also be opportunities for collaborative work. Know your strengths, and the strengths of those around you.
3-4. Know what is most important.
We all want to be more productive, but if your quest for productivity is severely curtailing you family time or damaging something else of great value to you, take a step back and prioritize your values. If you gain exceptional productivity at the cost of something far more precious to you, what have you truly gained?
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Organized\\n1-1. Set a routine.\\nPlot out recurring times in your schedule when you can focus your energies on the specific tasks you need to accomplish. Incorporate them into you existing daily routines (getting ready for work, lunchtime, etc.). Just as your body tells you \\\"this is lunchtime\\\" around the time you normally eat, you will become more attuned to feeling that \\\"this is productive time.\\\"\\n1-2. Break up larger tasks.\\nDon't focus on needing to write the entire book or paint the whole house; focus on finishing a chapter or a room. The sense of accomplishment will help keep you going, and it provides a way to mark your progress towards the larger goal.\\n1-3. Create deadlines.\\nRemember that time you had to finish a college term paper in one night? When there is a clear time limit, you have no choice but to focus your energies and stick to the essentials of your goal.\\nIf you're already on a deadline, set up mini-deadlines for components of the task.\\nTry to be strict with yourself as it is easy to break self-created deadlines. Put your deadline up against an appointment you can't miss or just set an egg timer.\\n1-4. Establish the right amount of time to finish the job.\\n\\\"Work expands to fill the time\\\" -- what sounds like old-fashioned wisdom can also be expressed by mathematical formulas, but the point of Parkinson's Law remains the same. Basically, if you give yourself all day to accomplish a task, you'll find a way to take all day to do it (or overdo it, that is). Figure out the minimum amount of time you need to do the job up to the necessary standard.\\n1-5. Plan but be flexible.\\nDo all the routine-making and deadline-setting you can, but also realize that life will intervene and you will need to be able to adjust. Don't let disruptions throw you completely off your rhythm. See if you can find ways to take advantage of them, or at least brush them off.\\nFor example, if you're trying to finish up a presentation for tomorrow morning and the power goes out, recruit someone to help you practice the Q&A session that follows until power is restored. Or even use it to make a lame joke the next day about how a competitor tried to sabotage your clearly blackout-proof presentation.\\n2. Listening to Your Body\\n2-1. Know oneself.\\nIf you're a morning person or a \\\"night owl,\\\" take advantage of that. Maximize your most productive times. If music helps you focus, use it; if it distracts you, forget it.\\nThink about what has worked when you've been productive in the past. Did your college finals studying go better when you holed up in a silent corner of the library or when your room-mates were playing video games three feet away?\\n2-2. Take \\\"mindless breaks.\\\"\\nWhen your brain is fried and you need to step away, do it. Watch a soap opera, walk your dog, clean a few of those dusty shelves you've been meaning to get to.\\nExpect to need such breaks and factor them into your schedule. This way you won't feel like you're wasting time while you're, well, wasting time (but in a positive way).\\n2-3. Get out in the sun.\\nNatural sunlight helps keep your body rhythms balanced, gives you energy, and just plain feels good. Take a walk or work by a window when you can.\\n2-4. Exercise.\\nIt breaks up the monotony of the day, relieves stress, helps you refocus your mind, and it's good for you.\\n2-5. Do a \\\"brain dump.\\\"\\nAs you work on a project, your mind will fill up with ideas, some relevant to the current task, some not. If you're feeling bogged down or stuck as you try to figure out a task, work on emptying your mind of distracting ideas. But keep them around just in case!\\nJot down your scattered ideas in a notepad (or your preferred more technologically advanced device) at the end of the day or when you're feeling mentally overloaded.\\nDon't worry about connecting all the dots right now. This is another form of brainstorming; get the ideas out, figure out what works, what doesn't, and how they connect later.\\n3. Prioritizing\\n3-1. Be realistic.\\nSome people who think they are unproductive are in fact productive people who just expect too much of themselves. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Productive people aren't 'super-humans'; they know what they can accomplish (and their limits) and focus on getting the job done.\\nConsider whether you would ask someone else to accomplish as much as you're attempting. If you would feel bad asking someone else to do that much, you're probably asking too much of yourself.\\nAt the end of the day, write down a list of all that you did accomplish. It might surprise you, and it will give you something else to look at other than that lengthy to-do list you started with that morning.\\n3-2. Keep it simple.\\nThink about the essential element(s) of what it is you want or need to accomplish. It is easier to hit a clear target.\\nFocus on your results, not on the time it takes to get there. After all, we're usually judged on results. We don't care how long it took the baker to make our wedding cake or what methods he used; we just want it to look and taste great.\\n3-3. Determine the importance and urgency of your tasks.\\nLike a good general (and pretty decent President) should, Dwight Eisenhower knew how to get things done. He made a point of determining what was truly important and truly urgent, and was known to say \\\"What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.\\\"\\nThe Eisenhower Box breaks tasks into four categories: Important and Urgent (do those now); Important but Not Urgent (decide when you want to do those later); Not Important but Urgent (delegate those to others); Not Important and Not Urgent (delete those from your list).\\nOf course, not everyone has the same ability to delegate tasks as does a general or President, but such tasks can also be opportunities for collaborative work. Know your strengths, and the strengths of those around you.\\n3-4. Know what is most important.\\nWe all want to be more productive, but if your quest for productivity is severely curtailing you family time or damaging something else of great value to you, take a step back and prioritize your values. If you gain exceptional productivity at the cost of something far more precious to you, what have you truly gained?\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone would like to be able to accomplish more in less time. It is easy to just accept that some people are naturally more productive and others more prone to procrastination. However true that may be, it is also clear that productive people take advantage of various useful strategies that can benefit anyone.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set a routine.\", \"描述\": \"Plot out recurring times in your schedule when you can focus your energies on the specific tasks you need to accomplish. Incorporate them into you existing daily routines (getting ready for work, lunchtime, etc.). Just as your body tells you \\\"this is lunchtime\\\" around the time you normally eat, you will become more attuned to feeling that \\\"this is productive time.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Break up larger tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Don't focus on needing to write the entire book or paint the whole house; focus on finishing a chapter or a room. The sense of accomplishment will help keep you going, and it provides a way to mark your progress towards the larger goal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create deadlines.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that time you had to finish a college term paper in one night? When there is a clear time limit, you have no choice but to focus your energies and stick to the essentials of your goal.\\nIf you're already on a deadline, set up mini-deadlines for components of the task.\\nTry to be strict with yourself as it is easy to break self-created deadlines. Put your deadline up against an appointment you can't miss or just set an egg timer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Establish the right amount of time to finish the job.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Work expands to fill the time\\\" -- what sounds like old-fashioned wisdom can also be expressed by mathematical formulas, but the point of Parkinson's Law remains the same. Basically, if you give yourself all day to accomplish a task, you'll find a way to take all day to do it (or overdo it, that is). Figure out the minimum amount of time you need to do the job up to the necessary standard.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan but be flexible.\", \"描述\": \"Do all the routine-making and deadline-setting you can, but also realize that life will intervene and you will need to be able to adjust. Don't let disruptions throw you completely off your rhythm. See if you can find ways to take advantage of them, or at least brush them off.\\nFor example, if you're trying to finish up a presentation for tomorrow morning and the power goes out, recruit someone to help you practice the Q&A session that follows until power is restored. Or even use it to make a lame joke the next day about how a competitor tried to sabotage your clearly blackout-proof presentation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listening to Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know oneself.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a morning person or a \\\"night owl,\\\" take advantage of that. Maximize your most productive times. If music helps you focus, use it; if it distracts you, forget it.\\nThink about what has worked when you've been productive in the past. Did your college finals studying go better when you holed up in a silent corner of the library or when your room-mates were playing video games three feet away?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take \\\"mindless breaks.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"When your brain is fried and you need to step away, do it. Watch a soap opera, walk your dog, clean a few of those dusty shelves you've been meaning to get to.\\nExpect to need such breaks and factor them into your schedule. This way you won't feel like you're wasting time while you're, well, wasting time (but in a positive way).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get out in the sun.\", \"描述\": \"Natural sunlight helps keep your body rhythms balanced, gives you energy, and just plain feels good. Take a walk or work by a window when you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exercise.\", \"描述\": \"It breaks up the monotony of the day, relieves stress, helps you refocus your mind, and it's good for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do a \\\"brain dump.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"As you work on a project, your mind will fill up with ideas, some relevant to the current task, some not. If you're feeling bogged down or stuck as you try to figure out a task, work on emptying your mind of distracting ideas. But keep them around just in case!\\nJot down your scattered ideas in a notepad (or your preferred more technologically advanced device) at the end of the day or when you're feeling mentally overloaded.\\nDon't worry about connecting all the dots right now. This is another form of brainstorming; get the ideas out, figure out what works, what doesn't, and how they connect later.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prioritizing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be realistic.\", \"描述\": \"Some people who think they are unproductive are in fact productive people who just expect too much of themselves. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Productive people aren't 'super-humans'; they know what they can accomplish (and their limits) and focus on getting the job done.\\nConsider whether you would ask someone else to accomplish as much as you're attempting. If you would feel bad asking someone else to do that much, you're probably asking too much of yourself.\\nAt the end of the day, write down a list of all that you did accomplish. It might surprise you, and it will give you something else to look at other than that lengthy to-do list you started with that morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the essential element(s) of what it is you want or need to accomplish. It is easier to hit a clear target.\\nFocus on your results, not on the time it takes to get there. After all, we're usually judged on results. We don't care how long it took the baker to make our wedding cake or what methods he used; we just want it to look and taste great.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the importance and urgency of your tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Like a good general (and pretty decent President) should, Dwight Eisenhower knew how to get things done. He made a point of determining what was truly important and truly urgent, and was known to say \\\"What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.\\\"\\nThe Eisenhower Box breaks tasks into four categories: Important and Urgent (do those now); Important but Not Urgent (decide when you want to do those later); Not Important but Urgent (delegate those to others); Not Important and Not Urgent (delete those from your list).\\nOf course, not everyone has the same ability to delegate tasks as does a general or President, but such tasks can also be opportunities for collaborative work. Know your strengths, and the strengths of those around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know what is most important.\", \"描述\": \"We all want to be more productive, but if your quest for productivity is severely curtailing you family time or damaging something else of great value to you, take a step back and prioritize your values. If you gain exceptional productivity at the cost of something far more precious to you, what have you truly gained?\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,958 | How to Be More Productive with the Pomodoro Technique | 1. Prepare Your To-Do List
1-1. Prepare yourself.
Before diving in, you must lay out a plan of action for your workflow. By using a spreadsheet creator, such as Google Sheets, you can keep your To Do List organized and accessible.
1-2. Launch Sheets.
Tap the green spreadsheet icon either in your home screen or app drawer labelled “Sheets.” This will bring you to the Google Sheets main screen.
1-3. Create a Sheet.
Tap the + icon in the lower-right corner to create a new sheet. It will be blank and have “Untitled spreadsheet” as its title.
You can rename the sheet by pressing the back key once to go back to the list of sheets, and tapping the three-dot menu icon in the lower right corner of the sheet’s tile. Tap “Rename,” and key in the name you wish the To-Do List to have.
1-4. Fill in the list.
This list will contain all the activities you plan to complete during your work hours. The first column should contain the activities. The second column will be for markers; after finishing an activity, place an X on this column to mark it as finished.
It is important to budget how many pomodoros (25-minute work intervals) you must dedicate to an activity, so you are assured that you have just enough time to complete it.
Beside every activity, place the type of activity before the activity’s name, followed by a colon (:). For instance, “Write: How to Be More Productive with Pomodroid” as the first activity, and then “Refine: How to Be More Productive with Pomodroid” as the second activity. This way, you have time to create content for the piece while you have a dedicated pomodoro for making sure the article has top-notch quality.
2. Using Pomodroid with the Pomodoro Technique
2-1. Launch Pomodroid.
Tap the red tomato-shaped kitchen timer icon either in your home screen or in the app drawer. This will launch Pomodroid and take you to its main screen.
2-2. Begin with work.
Once you are ready to begin working, tap the “Start” button at the lower left corner of the screen. The counter above the button will start while displaying the time remaining. Work uninterrupted until the times finishes.
When you find yourself distracted, you will have to stop the timer by tapping the “Pause” button right beside the “Start” button. Then you must begin the activity over again. This may sound a bit extreme, but it helps to keep you focused because the stakes are higher when you let yourself become distracted after long minutes of working. To restart the timer, tap the restart icon at the right side of the “Pause” button.
To keep yourself from getting distracted, only have tabs open that are for work. Log off your social network, lock the office door, and have a strict Do Not Disturb policy at home or at work.
The app will only count pomodoros as complete whenever the timer has reached its limit.
2-3. Take a break.
After each pomodoro (25 minutes), you get a 5-minute break by default. Use this time to stretch, walk around the office, or get some snacks. It is also advisable to gather snacks before starting the work day so you do not waste time getting them during your precious break times.
Be strict about stopping work. When the time runs out, stop everything. If you have not finished the activity, then use as many pomodoros it takes to finish it.
Make sure to keep track of your break times, as it is easy to lose track of time.
2-4. Begin another pomodoro.
After your break, resume working on the activity using another pomodoro, if you haven’t finished it yet.
2-5. Take note of the number of pomodoros it took to finish an activity.
This is important in order to record your productivity when you make your progress report.
If you do something you enjoy or value, you feel motivated.
If you need to be productive but do not enjoy the process take a break after working for a short period. Or work for a longer time and then do some physical activity to relieve mental stress and help you refocus.
You can make your work enjoyable by listening to music or a podcast when you work.
3. Creating Your Progress Report
3-1. Create a secondary spreadsheet.
Use Google Sheets, or the spreadsheet composer of your choice, to create another spreadsheet and title it “Progress Report.”
3-2. Add the headings.
Name the top cell of the first six columns: Date, Time, Type, Activity, Pomodoros, and Notes.
3-3. Enter the details.
The date column is for the date of the recording, Time is for time started, Type is for the kind of activity, Activity is for the description of the activity, Pomodoros is for how many pomodoros it took for you to complete the activity, and Notes for additional info regarding the activity.
It helps to have the inventory open as you work so you can quickly key in the data when you finish with each activity, or each pomodoro.
3-4. Assess your workflow.
After a few days of using the technique, you should begin to see improvements in how quickly you work, as well as the free time you generate from strictly using your time to work.
Mastering the technique should yield faster and more efficient work, as well as shortening the planning phase of each day since you will be able to accurately gauge how many pomodoros it takes to perform an activity, especially recurring activities.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Prepare Your To-Do List\\n1-1. Prepare yourself.\\nBefore diving in, you must lay out a plan of action for your workflow. By using a spreadsheet creator, such as Google Sheets, you can keep your To Do List organized and accessible.\\n1-2. Launch Sheets.\\nTap the green spreadsheet icon either in your home screen or app drawer labelled “Sheets.” This will bring you to the Google Sheets main screen.\\n1-3. Create a Sheet.\\nTap the + icon in the lower-right corner to create a new sheet. It will be blank and have “Untitled spreadsheet” as its title.\\nYou can rename the sheet by pressing the back key once to go back to the list of sheets, and tapping the three-dot menu icon in the lower right corner of the sheet’s tile. Tap “Rename,” and key in the name you wish the To-Do List to have.\\n1-4. Fill in the list.\\nThis list will contain all the activities you plan to complete during your work hours. The first column should contain the activities. The second column will be for markers; after finishing an activity, place an X on this column to mark it as finished.\\nIt is important to budget how many pomodoros (25-minute work intervals) you must dedicate to an activity, so you are assured that you have just enough time to complete it.\\nBeside every activity, place the type of activity before the activity’s name, followed by a colon (:). For instance, “Write: How to Be More Productive with Pomodroid” as the first activity, and then “Refine: How to Be More Productive with Pomodroid” as the second activity. This way, you have time to create content for the piece while you have a dedicated pomodoro for making sure the article has top-notch quality.\\n2. Using Pomodroid with the Pomodoro Technique\\n2-1. Launch Pomodroid.\\nTap the red tomato-shaped kitchen timer icon either in your home screen or in the app drawer. This will launch Pomodroid and take you to its main screen.\\n2-2. Begin with work.\\nOnce you are ready to begin working, tap the “Start” button at the lower left corner of the screen. The counter above the button will start while displaying the time remaining. Work uninterrupted until the times finishes.\\nWhen you find yourself distracted, you will have to stop the timer by tapping the “Pause” button right beside the “Start” button. Then you must begin the activity over again. This may sound a bit extreme, but it helps to keep you focused because the stakes are higher when you let yourself become distracted after long minutes of working. To restart the timer, tap the restart icon at the right side of the “Pause” button.\\nTo keep yourself from getting distracted, only have tabs open that are for work. Log off your social network, lock the office door, and have a strict Do Not Disturb policy at home or at work.\\nThe app will only count pomodoros as complete whenever the timer has reached its limit.\\n2-3. Take a break.\\nAfter each pomodoro (25 minutes), you get a 5-minute break by default. Use this time to stretch, walk around the office, or get some snacks. It is also advisable to gather snacks before starting the work day so you do not waste time getting them during your precious break times.\\nBe strict about stopping work. When the time runs out, stop everything. If you have not finished the activity, then use as many pomodoros it takes to finish it.\\nMake sure to keep track of your break times, as it is easy to lose track of time.\\n2-4. Begin another pomodoro.\\nAfter your break, resume working on the activity using another pomodoro, if you haven’t finished it yet.\\n2-5. Take note of the number of pomodoros it took to finish an activity.\\nThis is important in order to record your productivity when you make your progress report. \\nIf you do something you enjoy or value, you feel motivated.\\nIf you need to be productive but do not enjoy the process take a break after working for a short period. Or work for a longer time and then do some physical activity to relieve mental stress and help you refocus.\\nYou can make your work enjoyable by listening to music or a podcast when you work.\\n3. Creating Your Progress Report\\n3-1. Create a secondary spreadsheet.\\nUse Google Sheets, or the spreadsheet composer of your choice, to create another spreadsheet and title it “Progress Report.”\\n3-2. Add the headings.\\nName the top cell of the first six columns: Date, Time, Type, Activity, Pomodoros, and Notes.\\n3-3. Enter the details.\\nThe date column is for the date of the recording, Time is for time started, Type is for the kind of activity, Activity is for the description of the activity, Pomodoros is for how many pomodoros it took for you to complete the activity, and Notes for additional info regarding the activity.\\nIt helps to have the inventory open as you work so you can quickly key in the data when you finish with each activity, or each pomodoro.\\n3-4. Assess your workflow.\\nAfter a few days of using the technique, you should begin to see improvements in how quickly you work, as well as the free time you generate from strictly using your time to work.\\nMastering the technique should yield faster and more efficient work, as well as shortening the planning phase of each day since you will be able to accurately gauge how many pomodoros it takes to perform an activity, especially recurring activities.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're looking for a way to stay more focused on your tasks, the Pomodoro technique could be the perfect way to beat distractions. We'll show you how to use this method to break up your time in ways that will boost your productivity without overtaxing yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare Your To-Do List\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Before diving in, you must lay out a plan of action for your workflow. By using a spreadsheet creator, such as Google Sheets, you can keep your To Do List organized and accessible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Launch Sheets.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the green spreadsheet icon either in your home screen or app drawer labelled “Sheets.” This will bring you to the Google Sheets main screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a Sheet.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the + icon in the lower-right corner to create a new sheet. It will be blank and have “Untitled spreadsheet” as its title.\\nYou can rename the sheet by pressing the back key once to go back to the list of sheets, and tapping the three-dot menu icon in the lower right corner of the sheet’s tile. Tap “Rename,” and key in the name you wish the To-Do List to have.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill in the list.\", \"描述\": \"This list will contain all the activities you plan to complete during your work hours. The first column should contain the activities. The second column will be for markers; after finishing an activity, place an X on this column to mark it as finished.\\nIt is important to budget how many pomodoros (25-minute work intervals) you must dedicate to an activity, so you are assured that you have just enough time to complete it.\\nBeside every activity, place the type of activity before the activity’s name, followed by a colon (:). For instance, “Write: How to Be More Productive with Pomodroid” as the first activity, and then “Refine: How to Be More Productive with Pomodroid” as the second activity. This way, you have time to create content for the piece while you have a dedicated pomodoro for making sure the article has top-notch quality.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Pomodroid with the Pomodoro Technique\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch Pomodroid.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the red tomato-shaped kitchen timer icon either in your home screen or in the app drawer. This will launch Pomodroid and take you to its main screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Begin with work.\", \"描述\": \"Once you are ready to begin working, tap the “Start” button at the lower left corner of the screen. The counter above the button will start while displaying the time remaining. Work uninterrupted until the times finishes.\\nWhen you find yourself distracted, you will have to stop the timer by tapping the “Pause” button right beside the “Start” button. Then you must begin the activity over again. This may sound a bit extreme, but it helps to keep you focused because the stakes are higher when you let yourself become distracted after long minutes of working. To restart the timer, tap the restart icon at the right side of the “Pause” button.\\nTo keep yourself from getting distracted, only have tabs open that are for work. Log off your social network, lock the office door, and have a strict Do Not Disturb policy at home or at work.\\nThe app will only count pomodoros as complete whenever the timer has reached its limit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a break.\", \"描述\": \"After each pomodoro (25 minutes), you get a 5-minute break by default. Use this time to stretch, walk around the office, or get some snacks. It is also advisable to gather snacks before starting the work day so you do not waste time getting them during your precious break times.\\nBe strict about stopping work. When the time runs out, stop everything. If you have not finished the activity, then use as many pomodoros it takes to finish it.\\nMake sure to keep track of your break times, as it is easy to lose track of time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Begin another pomodoro.\", \"描述\": \"After your break, resume working on the activity using another pomodoro, if you haven’t finished it yet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take note of the number of pomodoros it took to finish an activity.\", \"描述\": \"This is important in order to record your productivity when you make your progress report. \\nIf you do something you enjoy or value, you feel motivated.\\nIf you need to be productive but do not enjoy the process take a break after working for a short period. Or work for a longer time and then do some physical activity to relieve mental stress and help you refocus.\\nYou can make your work enjoyable by listening to music or a podcast when you work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating Your Progress Report\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a secondary spreadsheet.\", \"描述\": \"Use Google Sheets, or the spreadsheet composer of your choice, to create another spreadsheet and title it “Progress Report.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Add the headings.\", \"描述\": \"Name the top cell of the first six columns: Date, Time, Type, Activity, Pomodoros, and Notes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enter the details.\", \"描述\": \"The date column is for the date of the recording, Time is for time started, Type is for the kind of activity, Activity is for the description of the activity, Pomodoros is for how many pomodoros it took for you to complete the activity, and Notes for additional info regarding the activity.\\nIt helps to have the inventory open as you work so you can quickly key in the data when you finish with each activity, or each pomodoro.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Assess your workflow.\", \"描述\": \"After a few days of using the technique, you should begin to see improvements in how quickly you work, as well as the free time you generate from strictly using your time to work.\\nMastering the technique should yield faster and more efficient work, as well as shortening the planning phase of each day since you will be able to accurately gauge how many pomodoros it takes to perform an activity, especially recurring activities.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,959 | How to Be More Social in High School | 1. Overcoming Shyness
1-1. Accept that you aren't perfect.
Everyone makes social and verbal faux pas.
Don't worry so much about saying the wrong thing.
Stop expecting perfection from yourself in all situations.
Allow yourself to be spontaneous.
1-2. Stop saying no.
Turning down invitations to social events can eventually hamper your social life.
If you are invited to join in an activity, say yes.
Don't be afraid to try new things. You won't get anywhere by avoiding new experiences and people out of anxiety.
Social experiences are also learning experiences. The more social experience you have, the easier it will be to interact with others.
1-3. Make eye contact.
If you are avoiding others gaze, you are not likely to be noticed and acknowledged.
Look at people directly with a friendly expression. That will be more inviting for them to make conversation with you.
Eye contact makes other people feel comfortable when interacting with you.
Looking directly at other peoples faces will help you gauge their feelings and emotions, as well as build your own confidence in conversation.
2. Getting Involved in Activities
2-1. Know your interests and strengths.
There are often clubs or groups at most schools for almost all activities and interests.
Are you interested in art? Music?
Can you play any sports?
Are you interested in theater or dance?
Are you good at math or science?
2-2. Talk to your guidance counselor.
They are there to help you get more involved in school activities.
Your counselor will have a list of school clubs and activities.
They can help you coordinate your interests and talents with activities on offer.
Your counselor can help you contact the coach or faculty sponsor for sports or clubs.
They can also give you advice on how to be more confident socially.
2-3. Join a special interest club.
When you do this you find people who share your interests.
Spend less time on solitary interests and join a club to do activities socially.
Don't worry about seeming like a nerd. In your club or group, you will find other people with similar interests and tastes.
Working on group projects with a special interest group can help you showcase your talents and make friends.
Ask people in your club to socialize outside of school, such as going out for coffee or a movie.
2-4. Play a sport.
Sports teams are often close knit and supportive social groups.
Joining a sports team can help you meet other kids who like the same activities.
Often times, sports teams will organize social activities for the players.
Playing a sport will help you build confidence.
You will learn a lot of social skills if you are part of a sports team. You will need to work as a team to win a game or championship.
Kids who play sports often build strong lasting friendships.
2-5. Join a volunteer activity.
Many schools or churches hold charity drives or other volunteer opportunities.
Through volunteer programs you can meet lots of interesting people.
Volunteering for a specific cause, such as the Red Cross or Habitat for Humanity, can help you find other kids with similar interests and goals.
Helping others will help you increase your self-esteem.
Broadening your horizons allows you to have interesting experiences that can be shared with others.
2-6. Use social media.
Websites like Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest can help you get more involved in activities in your community.
Facebook has many groups and events pages. Look for activities that interest you and are in your local community.
This can help you find youth groups, camps, and social events outside of school.
You can also find classes and other educational activities on offer in your city or town.
You might find that people you already know have similar interests on social media. This can help you break the ice when talking to them.
3. Keeping Up Your Appearance
3-1. Boost your confidence.
Taking pride in one's appearance or making a small change can be a self-esteem booster.
You don't have to change your appearance to make friends.
Making small changes can help you be more confident if you like the way you look and feel.
You can choose new looks and clothes that fit your own unique personality. You don't have to copy what everyone else wears!
3-2. Practice basic grooming.
Hygiene is always important.
Other kids will want to be social with someone who appears clean and neatly dressed.
Wear deodorant daily.
Make sure you brush and floss your teeth regularly.
Shower or bathe daily and keep your hair clean.
Guys should groom their facial hair. If you have a beard, make sure it isn't patchy or unkempt.
Make sure to pluck eyebrows and rid your face of any distracting hair.
Make sure your nails always look clean and trimmed.
3-3. Take care of your skin.
The teenage years can be tough with those with acne.
Wash your face daily with a mild facial cleanser.
Avoid popping any acne you already have. This can make it worse and cause scarring.
Try a topical acne treatment that's over the counter.
See a doctor or dermatologist if your acne is worsening or severe.
3-4. Dress for success.
Make sure you wear clean clothes daily and look presentable.
Make sure you wear nothing with stains.
Make sure your clothes are laundered and wrinkle free.
Don't wear the same thing twice in a row.
Make sure your clothes fit you properly. Don't wear anything overly baggy or too tight.
Avoid wearing light colored socks with dark shoes and vice versa and avoid wearing socks with sandals.
3-5. Give yourself a makeover.
It doesn't have to be big; just little things can be altered. Changing your look does not mean changing your personality.
Change your hairstyle. Choose a haircut that best suits your face and personal preference.
Consider changing from glasses to contacts. If you have to wear glasses, choose a frame that suits your face and is in style.
If your teeth are dull or crooked, look into whitening or straightening. This isn't possible or affordable for everybody, but its an option that can help you change your overall appearance.
3-6. Get into shape.
You can exercise to maintain your physique or to be more healthy.
Get off the couch and grab you fitness clothes and go for a walk or run.
Exercising will give you a more healthy appearance.
Getting more physical activity can help you build confidence.
You don't have to lose weight to get people to like you! However, physical activity can be a social activity too and opportunity to make new friends.
Tips
Try to have self confidence. This can be hard, but you will develop this over time with effort.
Don't change yourself into someone else. Everyone has unique talents and ideas that can bring a lot of fun to social events.
Don't hang out with people who bring you down.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Overcoming Shyness\\n1-1. Accept that you aren't perfect.\\nEveryone makes social and verbal faux pas. \\nDon't worry so much about saying the wrong thing.\\nStop expecting perfection from yourself in all situations.\\nAllow yourself to be spontaneous.\\n1-2. Stop saying no.\\nTurning down invitations to social events can eventually hamper your social life. \\nIf you are invited to join in an activity, say yes.\\nDon't be afraid to try new things. You won't get anywhere by avoiding new experiences and people out of anxiety.\\nSocial experiences are also learning experiences. The more social experience you have, the easier it will be to interact with others.\\n1-3. Make eye contact.\\nIf you are avoiding others gaze, you are not likely to be noticed and acknowledged. \\nLook at people directly with a friendly expression. That will be more inviting for them to make conversation with you.\\nEye contact makes other people feel comfortable when interacting with you.\\nLooking directly at other peoples faces will help you gauge their feelings and emotions, as well as build your own confidence in conversation.\\n2. Getting Involved in Activities\\n2-1. Know your interests and strengths.\\nThere are often clubs or groups at most schools for almost all activities and interests.\\nAre you interested in art? Music?\\nCan you play any sports?\\nAre you interested in theater or dance?\\nAre you good at math or science?\\n2-2. Talk to your guidance counselor.\\nThey are there to help you get more involved in school activities.\\nYour counselor will have a list of school clubs and activities.\\nThey can help you coordinate your interests and talents with activities on offer.\\nYour counselor can help you contact the coach or faculty sponsor for sports or clubs.\\nThey can also give you advice on how to be more confident socially.\\n2-3. Join a special interest club.\\nWhen you do this you find people who share your interests. \\nSpend less time on solitary interests and join a club to do activities socially.\\nDon't worry about seeming like a nerd. In your club or group, you will find other people with similar interests and tastes.\\nWorking on group projects with a special interest group can help you showcase your talents and make friends.\\nAsk people in your club to socialize outside of school, such as going out for coffee or a movie.\\n2-4. Play a sport.\\nSports teams are often close knit and supportive social groups.\\nJoining a sports team can help you meet other kids who like the same activities.\\nOften times, sports teams will organize social activities for the players.\\nPlaying a sport will help you build confidence.\\nYou will learn a lot of social skills if you are part of a sports team. You will need to work as a team to win a game or championship.\\nKids who play sports often build strong lasting friendships.\\n2-5. Join a volunteer activity.\\nMany schools or churches hold charity drives or other volunteer opportunities.\\nThrough volunteer programs you can meet lots of interesting people.\\nVolunteering for a specific cause, such as the Red Cross or Habitat for Humanity, can help you find other kids with similar interests and goals.\\nHelping others will help you increase your self-esteem.\\nBroadening your horizons allows you to have interesting experiences that can be shared with others.\\n2-6. Use social media.\\nWebsites like Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest can help you get more involved in activities in your community.\\nFacebook has many groups and events pages. Look for activities that interest you and are in your local community.\\nThis can help you find youth groups, camps, and social events outside of school.\\nYou can also find classes and other educational activities on offer in your city or town.\\nYou might find that people you already know have similar interests on social media. This can help you break the ice when talking to them.\\n3. Keeping Up Your Appearance\\n3-1. Boost your confidence.\\nTaking pride in one's appearance or making a small change can be a self-esteem booster.\\nYou don't have to change your appearance to make friends.\\nMaking small changes can help you be more confident if you like the way you look and feel.\\nYou can choose new looks and clothes that fit your own unique personality. You don't have to copy what everyone else wears!\\n3-2. Practice basic grooming.\\nHygiene is always important. \\nOther kids will want to be social with someone who appears clean and neatly dressed.\\nWear deodorant daily.\\nMake sure you brush and floss your teeth regularly.\\nShower or bathe daily and keep your hair clean.\\nGuys should groom their facial hair. If you have a beard, make sure it isn't patchy or unkempt.\\nMake sure to pluck eyebrows and rid your face of any distracting hair.\\nMake sure your nails always look clean and trimmed.\\n3-3. Take care of your skin.\\nThe teenage years can be tough with those with acne. \\nWash your face daily with a mild facial cleanser.\\nAvoid popping any acne you already have. This can make it worse and cause scarring.\\nTry a topical acne treatment that's over the counter.\\nSee a doctor or dermatologist if your acne is worsening or severe.\\n3-4. Dress for success.\\nMake sure you wear clean clothes daily and look presentable. \\nMake sure you wear nothing with stains.\\nMake sure your clothes are laundered and wrinkle free.\\nDon't wear the same thing twice in a row.\\nMake sure your clothes fit you properly. Don't wear anything overly baggy or too tight.\\nAvoid wearing light colored socks with dark shoes and vice versa and avoid wearing socks with sandals.\\n3-5. Give yourself a makeover.\\nIt doesn't have to be big; just little things can be altered. Changing your look does not mean changing your personality. \\nChange your hairstyle. Choose a haircut that best suits your face and personal preference.\\nConsider changing from glasses to contacts. If you have to wear glasses, choose a frame that suits your face and is in style.\\nIf your teeth are dull or crooked, look into whitening or straightening. This isn't possible or affordable for everybody, but its an option that can help you change your overall appearance.\\n3-6. Get into shape.\\nYou can exercise to maintain your physique or to be more healthy.\\nGet off the couch and grab you fitness clothes and go for a walk or run.\\nExercising will give you a more healthy appearance.\\nGetting more physical activity can help you build confidence.\\nYou don't have to lose weight to get people to like you! However, physical activity can be a social activity too and opportunity to make new friends.\\nTips\\nTry to have self confidence. This can be hard, but you will develop this over time with effort.\\nDon't change yourself into someone else. Everyone has unique talents and ideas that can bring a lot of fun to social events.\\nDon't hang out with people who bring you down.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Talking to new people in school is somewhat difficult, particularly if everybody has their own cliques. It's also especially hard if you are a shy person or at a new school. When you are in highschool, it is important to try to make friends and have new experiences. This article addresses how to become more social in highschool.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Shyness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept that you aren't perfect.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone makes social and verbal faux pas. \\nDon't worry so much about saying the wrong thing.\\nStop expecting perfection from yourself in all situations.\\nAllow yourself to be spontaneous.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop saying no.\", \"描述\": \"Turning down invitations to social events can eventually hamper your social life. \\nIf you are invited to join in an activity, say yes.\\nDon't be afraid to try new things. You won't get anywhere by avoiding new experiences and people out of anxiety.\\nSocial experiences are also learning experiences. The more social experience you have, the easier it will be to interact with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"If you are avoiding others gaze, you are not likely to be noticed and acknowledged. \\nLook at people directly with a friendly expression. That will be more inviting for them to make conversation with you.\\nEye contact makes other people feel comfortable when interacting with you.\\nLooking directly at other peoples faces will help you gauge their feelings and emotions, as well as build your own confidence in conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved in Activities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know your interests and strengths.\", \"描述\": \"There are often clubs or groups at most schools for almost all activities and interests.\\nAre you interested in art? Music?\\nCan you play any sports?\\nAre you interested in theater or dance?\\nAre you good at math or science?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to your guidance counselor.\", \"描述\": \"They are there to help you get more involved in school activities.\\nYour counselor will have a list of school clubs and activities.\\nThey can help you coordinate your interests and talents with activities on offer.\\nYour counselor can help you contact the coach or faculty sponsor for sports or clubs.\\nThey can also give you advice on how to be more confident socially.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join a special interest club.\", \"描述\": \"When you do this you find people who share your interests. \\nSpend less time on solitary interests and join a club to do activities socially.\\nDon't worry about seeming like a nerd. In your club or group, you will find other people with similar interests and tastes.\\nWorking on group projects with a special interest group can help you showcase your talents and make friends.\\nAsk people in your club to socialize outside of school, such as going out for coffee or a movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play a sport.\", \"描述\": \"Sports teams are often close knit and supportive social groups.\\nJoining a sports team can help you meet other kids who like the same activities.\\nOften times, sports teams will organize social activities for the players.\\nPlaying a sport will help you build confidence.\\nYou will learn a lot of social skills if you are part of a sports team. You will need to work as a team to win a game or championship.\\nKids who play sports often build strong lasting friendships.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join a volunteer activity.\", \"描述\": \"Many schools or churches hold charity drives or other volunteer opportunities.\\nThrough volunteer programs you can meet lots of interesting people.\\nVolunteering for a specific cause, such as the Red Cross or Habitat for Humanity, can help you find other kids with similar interests and goals.\\nHelping others will help you increase your self-esteem.\\nBroadening your horizons allows you to have interesting experiences that can be shared with others.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use social media.\", \"描述\": \"Websites like Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest can help you get more involved in activities in your community.\\nFacebook has many groups and events pages. Look for activities that interest you and are in your local community.\\nThis can help you find youth groups, camps, and social events outside of school.\\nYou can also find classes and other educational activities on offer in your city or town.\\nYou might find that people you already know have similar interests on social media. This can help you break the ice when talking to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Up Your Appearance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Boost your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Taking pride in one's appearance or making a small change can be a self-esteem booster.\\nYou don't have to change your appearance to make friends.\\nMaking small changes can help you be more confident if you like the way you look and feel.\\nYou can choose new looks and clothes that fit your own unique personality. You don't have to copy what everyone else wears!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice basic grooming.\", \"描述\": \"Hygiene is always important. \\nOther kids will want to be social with someone who appears clean and neatly dressed.\\nWear deodorant daily.\\nMake sure you brush and floss your teeth regularly.\\nShower or bathe daily and keep your hair clean.\\nGuys should groom their facial hair. If you have a beard, make sure it isn't patchy or unkempt.\\nMake sure to pluck eyebrows and rid your face of any distracting hair.\\nMake sure your nails always look clean and trimmed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take care of your skin.\", \"描述\": \"The teenage years can be tough with those with acne. \\nWash your face daily with a mild facial cleanser.\\nAvoid popping any acne you already have. This can make it worse and cause scarring.\\nTry a topical acne treatment that's over the counter.\\nSee a doctor or dermatologist if your acne is worsening or severe.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress for success.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you wear clean clothes daily and look presentable. \\nMake sure you wear nothing with stains.\\nMake sure your clothes are laundered and wrinkle free.\\nDon't wear the same thing twice in a row.\\nMake sure your clothes fit you properly. Don't wear anything overly baggy or too tight.\\nAvoid wearing light colored socks with dark shoes and vice versa and avoid wearing socks with sandals.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a makeover.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't have to be big; just little things can be altered. Changing your look does not mean changing your personality. \\nChange your hairstyle. Choose a haircut that best suits your face and personal preference.\\nConsider changing from glasses to contacts. If you have to wear glasses, choose a frame that suits your face and is in style.\\nIf your teeth are dull or crooked, look into whitening or straightening. This isn't possible or affordable for everybody, but its an option that can help you change your overall appearance.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get into shape.\", \"描述\": \"You can exercise to maintain your physique or to be more healthy.\\nGet off the couch and grab you fitness clothes and go for a walk or run.\\nExercising will give you a more healthy appearance.\\nGetting more physical activity can help you build confidence.\\nYou don't have to lose weight to get people to like you! However, physical activity can be a social activity too and opportunity to make new friends.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to have self confidence. This can be hard, but you will develop this over time with effort.\\n\", \"Don't change yourself into someone else. Everyone has unique talents and ideas that can bring a lot of fun to social events.\\n\", \"Don't hang out with people who bring you down.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,960 | How to Be More Spontaneous | 1. Make a list of your routines.
Pinpoint the areas of your life that could use some loosening up.
What patterns do you repeat? It might seem counterintuitive, but making a note of every time you do something that feels routine will help you figure out where you can start to loosen up.
Ask yourself questions like: Do I walk the same route every day? Do I sit in the same desk during classes? Do I bring the same kind of things for lunch or order the same meal at a restaurant?
Note your downtime activities. Do you sit at home or are you active?
If you’re struggling to identify routines, ask your family members or friends to point out your habits.
2. Write down the anxieties holding you back from change.
Ask yourself, “What's so scary about change?”
Write these anxieties down next to the steps in your routine. Try to be as specific as possible. Figuring out your self-judgements and limiting beliefs allows you to recognize when your negative inner voice is holding you back from spontaneity, rather than a true, external limitation (like time or money).
Check in with yourself: What's scary about sitting next to a stranger and being drawn into conversation? What keeps you from visiting that new restaurant?
3. Add a few new activities to your routine to shift your mindset.
Create small habits based around gratitude and being present.
Part of spontaneity is about openness—freeing yourself to enjoy the moment and shifting your perspective towards positivity. Add a larger routine shift by exercising or learning to meditate, or you can try out some of the smaller habits below.
Take a photo of something beautiful on the way to work.
Write down three things that went well for you at least once a week and what contributed to them going well.
Pick one enjoyable activity (like reading a book, watching your favorite TV series), and plan it into your evening so you have something to look forward to at the end of the workday.
4. Clear part of your schedule and see where the day takes you.
Break completely from your routine by leaving true free time.
Take an hour, an afternoon, or however much time you’d like to unwind and try something new. Avoid scheduling activities, and see what opportunities come up! Some routine is good—having habits like exercise, regular self-care, and meditating or praying can keep us productive and comfortable—but leaving free time can refresh your perspective on life.
Use the time to take a class or learn about a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
Wander around town and see if there are cool places or events to check out.
Give yourself a day off from chores and go for a hike, cook an elaborate meal, or play video games instead.
5. Act on cravings and spur-of-the-moment ideas.
Tune into feelings about what you want to do.
If you develop a craving to eat pizza late at night or to become a vegetarian over the weekend, what's stopping you? It's easy to come up with reasons not to do things. Instead of worrying about whether your whim will eventually fail or whether you'll regret your choice, just go for it.
Start by asking yourself how you feel about something instead of dismissing your ideas and wants.
Use common sense. Don’t act on impulses that are illegal, extremely unhealthy, or that put you in danger.
6. Connect with new people.
Chat with a stranger or invite acquaintances along for activities.
Feeling stuck in a routine can get lonely, so the next time you go out or plan an evening at home, ask someone to join you. Studies show that engaging with other people, even talking to strangers on your commute, can boost your positive emotions.
If your average night looks like enjoying a few beers on the porch or cooking dinner, make it a significant event by including an old friend you’ve lost touch with or would like to get to know better.
Strike up a conversation with a stranger by asking about your surroundings. For instance, if you’re at a café, try saying something like, “Wow, the line’s really long today. Have you ever seen it this busy in here?”
7. Say yes when a friend asks you to do something.
Taking "no" out of your vocabulary opens up a world of possibilities.
The next time a friend asks you to try out a new restaurant or go see a movie, say yes. Just keep in mind that saying yes isn't about forcing yourself to do things that’ll make you deeply uncomfortable—it's about getting yourself to do things you might like and never get around to.
Act in your best interest. If you have absolutely no desire to go to that glow-in-the-dark bubble rave or if you can’t afford that restaurant, don't go.
As you find activities or new places you like, focus your energy on pursuing those opportunities. Use your spontaneity to make life more enjoyable, not more hectic or challenging.
8. Go on an impromptu adventure with a friend.
Wait to choose a specific activity until you arrive somewhere.
By avoiding over-planning, you can prevent planning from feeling like a chore and keep yourself open to new and exciting opportunities. Offer to meet up with a friend in an unfamiliar part of town and spend the day exploring. You never know what you might find!
Meet up downtown for lunch, and walk around to decide on a restaurant instead of planning ahead-of-time.
Go on a walking tour of your city instead of picking a specific destination.
Drive to a movie theater and pick a movie to see once you get there.
Look through a thrift store or antique market and look for the wildest thing you can find.
9. Switch up the location where you work, study, or eat.
Change your environment to get a new perspective.
Mixing up the place where you work or study might even help you improve your brain’s ability to process and retain information. Check in with yourself once you make a small change. Does the change make you feel better or more anxious?
Take a different route to work.
Bring your lunch for a picnic outside instead eating in the cafeteria.
Call a friend and meet for drinks downtown instead of going straight home after work.
Study in the library instead of at a coffee shop.
10. Take a trip without a full itinerary.
Leave unplanned time to keep yourself open to new adventures.
For nearby vacations, just get in the car and drive until you find a place you’d like to stop and explore. For trips overseas or farther away, only plan the minimum logistical necessities like booking a plane ticket, finding a place to stay, etc. Once you get to a new place, follow your instincts about what you’d like to do and see.
Ask a local for advice on what to do, or check out a local paper for listings of concerts, festivals, and activities.
Use the “near me” feature in mapping apps on your phone to pick fun activities once you get to a spot.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to take a trip. Spend a weekend in the adjacent town or go for a scenic drive.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Make a list of your routines.\\nPinpoint the areas of your life that could use some loosening up.\\nWhat patterns do you repeat? It might seem counterintuitive, but making a note of every time you do something that feels routine will help you figure out where you can start to loosen up.\\nAsk yourself questions like: Do I walk the same route every day? Do I sit in the same desk during classes? Do I bring the same kind of things for lunch or order the same meal at a restaurant?\\nNote your downtime activities. Do you sit at home or are you active?\\nIf you’re struggling to identify routines, ask your family members or friends to point out your habits.\\n2. Write down the anxieties holding you back from change.\\nAsk yourself, “What's so scary about change?”\\nWrite these anxieties down next to the steps in your routine. Try to be as specific as possible. Figuring out your self-judgements and limiting beliefs allows you to recognize when your negative inner voice is holding you back from spontaneity, rather than a true, external limitation (like time or money).\\nCheck in with yourself: What's scary about sitting next to a stranger and being drawn into conversation? What keeps you from visiting that new restaurant?\\n3. Add a few new activities to your routine to shift your mindset.\\nCreate small habits based around gratitude and being present.\\nPart of spontaneity is about openness—freeing yourself to enjoy the moment and shifting your perspective towards positivity. Add a larger routine shift by exercising or learning to meditate, or you can try out some of the smaller habits below.\\nTake a photo of something beautiful on the way to work.\\nWrite down three things that went well for you at least once a week and what contributed to them going well.\\nPick one enjoyable activity (like reading a book, watching your favorite TV series), and plan it into your evening so you have something to look forward to at the end of the workday.\\n4. Clear part of your schedule and see where the day takes you.\\nBreak completely from your routine by leaving true free time.\\nTake an hour, an afternoon, or however much time you’d like to unwind and try something new. Avoid scheduling activities, and see what opportunities come up! Some routine is good—having habits like exercise, regular self-care, and meditating or praying can keep us productive and comfortable—but leaving free time can refresh your perspective on life.\\nUse the time to take a class or learn about a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.\\nWander around town and see if there are cool places or events to check out.\\nGive yourself a day off from chores and go for a hike, cook an elaborate meal, or play video games instead.\\n5. Act on cravings and spur-of-the-moment ideas.\\nTune into feelings about what you want to do.\\nIf you develop a craving to eat pizza late at night or to become a vegetarian over the weekend, what's stopping you? It's easy to come up with reasons not to do things. Instead of worrying about whether your whim will eventually fail or whether you'll regret your choice, just go for it.\\nStart by asking yourself how you feel about something instead of dismissing your ideas and wants.\\nUse common sense. Don’t act on impulses that are illegal, extremely unhealthy, or that put you in danger.\\n6. Connect with new people.\\nChat with a stranger or invite acquaintances along for activities.\\nFeeling stuck in a routine can get lonely, so the next time you go out or plan an evening at home, ask someone to join you. Studies show that engaging with other people, even talking to strangers on your commute, can boost your positive emotions.\\nIf your average night looks like enjoying a few beers on the porch or cooking dinner, make it a significant event by including an old friend you’ve lost touch with or would like to get to know better.\\nStrike up a conversation with a stranger by asking about your surroundings. For instance, if you’re at a café, try saying something like, “Wow, the line’s really long today. Have you ever seen it this busy in here?”\\n7. Say yes when a friend asks you to do something.\\nTaking \\\"no\\\" out of your vocabulary opens up a world of possibilities.\\nThe next time a friend asks you to try out a new restaurant or go see a movie, say yes. Just keep in mind that saying yes isn't about forcing yourself to do things that’ll make you deeply uncomfortable—it's about getting yourself to do things you might like and never get around to.\\nAct in your best interest. If you have absolutely no desire to go to that glow-in-the-dark bubble rave or if you can’t afford that restaurant, don't go.\\nAs you find activities or new places you like, focus your energy on pursuing those opportunities. Use your spontaneity to make life more enjoyable, not more hectic or challenging.\\n8. Go on an impromptu adventure with a friend.\\nWait to choose a specific activity until you arrive somewhere.\\nBy avoiding over-planning, you can prevent planning from feeling like a chore and keep yourself open to new and exciting opportunities. Offer to meet up with a friend in an unfamiliar part of town and spend the day exploring. You never know what you might find!\\nMeet up downtown for lunch, and walk around to decide on a restaurant instead of planning ahead-of-time.\\nGo on a walking tour of your city instead of picking a specific destination.\\nDrive to a movie theater and pick a movie to see once you get there.\\nLook through a thrift store or antique market and look for the wildest thing you can find.\\n9. Switch up the location where you work, study, or eat.\\nChange your environment to get a new perspective.\\nMixing up the place where you work or study might even help you improve your brain’s ability to process and retain information. Check in with yourself once you make a small change. Does the change make you feel better or more anxious?\\nTake a different route to work.\\nBring your lunch for a picnic outside instead eating in the cafeteria.\\nCall a friend and meet for drinks downtown instead of going straight home after work.\\nStudy in the library instead of at a coffee shop.\\n10. Take a trip without a full itinerary.\\nLeave unplanned time to keep yourself open to new adventures.\\nFor nearby vacations, just get in the car and drive until you find a place you’d like to stop and explore. For trips overseas or farther away, only plan the minimum logistical necessities like booking a plane ticket, finding a place to stay, etc. Once you get to a new place, follow your instincts about what you’d like to do and see.\\nAsk a local for advice on what to do, or check out a local paper for listings of concerts, festivals, and activities.\\nUse the “near me” feature in mapping apps on your phone to pick fun activities once you get to a spot.\\nYou don’t have to spend a lot of money to take a trip. Spend a weekend in the adjacent town or go for a scenic drive.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some structure in your life can be comforting, but when you feel like your days are getting dull and repetitive, it might be time to shake things up a bit. Getting out of your comfort zone and injecting some spontaneity into your routine can keep things unpredictable and fun. We’ve compiled the best ways for you to break out of old habits and reinvigorate your daily life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your routines.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pinpoint the areas of your life that could use some loosening up.\", \"描述\": \"What patterns do you repeat? It might seem counterintuitive, but making a note of every time you do something that feels routine will help you figure out where you can start to loosen up.\\nAsk yourself questions like: Do I walk the same route every day? Do I sit in the same desk during classes? Do I bring the same kind of things for lunch or order the same meal at a restaurant?\\nNote your downtime activities. Do you sit at home or are you active?\\nIf you’re struggling to identify routines, ask your family members or friends to point out your habits.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down the anxieties holding you back from change.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself, “What's so scary about change?”\", \"描述\": \"Write these anxieties down next to the steps in your routine. Try to be as specific as possible. Figuring out your self-judgements and limiting beliefs allows you to recognize when your negative inner voice is holding you back from spontaneity, rather than a true, external limitation (like time or money).\\nCheck in with yourself: What's scary about sitting next to a stranger and being drawn into conversation? What keeps you from visiting that new restaurant?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Add a few new activities to your routine to shift your mindset.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create small habits based around gratitude and being present.\", \"描述\": \"Part of spontaneity is about openness—freeing yourself to enjoy the moment and shifting your perspective towards positivity. Add a larger routine shift by exercising or learning to meditate, or you can try out some of the smaller habits below.\\nTake a photo of something beautiful on the way to work.\\nWrite down three things that went well for you at least once a week and what contributed to them going well.\\nPick one enjoyable activity (like reading a book, watching your favorite TV series), and plan it into your evening so you have something to look forward to at the end of the workday.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Clear part of your schedule and see where the day takes you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break completely from your routine by leaving true free time.\", \"描述\": \"Take an hour, an afternoon, or however much time you’d like to unwind and try something new. Avoid scheduling activities, and see what opportunities come up! Some routine is good—having habits like exercise, regular self-care, and meditating or praying can keep us productive and comfortable—but leaving free time can refresh your perspective on life.\\nUse the time to take a class or learn about a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.\\nWander around town and see if there are cool places or events to check out.\\nGive yourself a day off from chores and go for a hike, cook an elaborate meal, or play video games instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Act on cravings and spur-of-the-moment ideas.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tune into feelings about what you want to do.\", \"描述\": \"If you develop a craving to eat pizza late at night or to become a vegetarian over the weekend, what's stopping you? It's easy to come up with reasons not to do things. Instead of worrying about whether your whim will eventually fail or whether you'll regret your choice, just go for it.\\nStart by asking yourself how you feel about something instead of dismissing your ideas and wants.\\nUse common sense. Don’t act on impulses that are illegal, extremely unhealthy, or that put you in danger.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Connect with new people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Chat with a stranger or invite acquaintances along for activities.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling stuck in a routine can get lonely, so the next time you go out or plan an evening at home, ask someone to join you. Studies show that engaging with other people, even talking to strangers on your commute, can boost your positive emotions.\\nIf your average night looks like enjoying a few beers on the porch or cooking dinner, make it a significant event by including an old friend you’ve lost touch with or would like to get to know better.\\nStrike up a conversation with a stranger by asking about your surroundings. For instance, if you’re at a café, try saying something like, “Wow, the line’s really long today. Have you ever seen it this busy in here?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Say yes when a friend asks you to do something.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking \\\"no\\\" out of your vocabulary opens up a world of possibilities.\", \"描述\": \"The next time a friend asks you to try out a new restaurant or go see a movie, say yes. Just keep in mind that saying yes isn't about forcing yourself to do things that’ll make you deeply uncomfortable—it's about getting yourself to do things you might like and never get around to.\\nAct in your best interest. If you have absolutely no desire to go to that glow-in-the-dark bubble rave or if you can’t afford that restaurant, don't go.\\nAs you find activities or new places you like, focus your energy on pursuing those opportunities. Use your spontaneity to make life more enjoyable, not more hectic or challenging.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Go on an impromptu adventure with a friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait to choose a specific activity until you arrive somewhere.\", \"描述\": \"By avoiding over-planning, you can prevent planning from feeling like a chore and keep yourself open to new and exciting opportunities. Offer to meet up with a friend in an unfamiliar part of town and spend the day exploring. You never know what you might find!\\nMeet up downtown for lunch, and walk around to decide on a restaurant instead of planning ahead-of-time.\\nGo on a walking tour of your city instead of picking a specific destination.\\nDrive to a movie theater and pick a movie to see once you get there.\\nLook through a thrift store or antique market and look for the wildest thing you can find.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Switch up the location where you work, study, or eat.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change your environment to get a new perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Mixing up the place where you work or study might even help you improve your brain’s ability to process and retain information. Check in with yourself once you make a small change. Does the change make you feel better or more anxious?\\nTake a different route to work.\\nBring your lunch for a picnic outside instead eating in the cafeteria.\\nCall a friend and meet for drinks downtown instead of going straight home after work.\\nStudy in the library instead of at a coffee shop.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Take a trip without a full itinerary.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Leave unplanned time to keep yourself open to new adventures.\", \"描述\": \"For nearby vacations, just get in the car and drive until you find a place you’d like to stop and explore. For trips overseas or farther away, only plan the minimum logistical necessities like booking a plane ticket, finding a place to stay, etc. Once you get to a new place, follow your instincts about what you’d like to do and see.\\nAsk a local for advice on what to do, or check out a local paper for listings of concerts, festivals, and activities.\\nUse the “near me” feature in mapping apps on your phone to pick fun activities once you get to a spot.\\nYou don’t have to spend a lot of money to take a trip. Spend a weekend in the adjacent town or go for a scenic drive.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,961 | How to Be More Talkative and Less Shy | 1. Talking to New People
1-1. Practice some conversation starters.
Starting a conversation with someone you do not know can be difficult. You will feel less awkward if you are well prepared. Prepare some conversation starters before you go somewhere so you will have something to talk about.
If you are going to a party, you may say, “The food is really good. Have you tried the ____?” or “How do you know ____?”
You can give a compliment. “Hey, I love your shirt. Where did you get it?”
If you are going to a place where you have something in common with the people there, talk about what you have in common and then ask a question. You may say, “I love video games too, what is your favorite one?”
1-2. Practice what you will say.
Write down what you would like to say and rehearse in front of the mirror or out loud. This will help the conversation feel more natural when you actually go through with it. Even though you practice, things may not go exactly how you planned, but that's okay.
After you have practiced and tried to do it in real life, you can make adjustments based on your experience.
Your practice should be specific to the challenge that you are taking on. If you are going to school, your practice conversations may focus on studying, note taking, or an upcoming project or test. If you are going to a party, your practice conversation may focus on music, providing compliments, and food at the party.
1-3. Focus on the other person.
Because you are shy, you are probably thinking about yourself when you interact with others. You may worry about how the other person perceives you or what you will say next. Instead of thinking about yourself and your feelings, focus on what the other person is saying or what is going on around you.
Being a good listener can help you focus on the other person. Make eye contact, nod your head every once in a while, and smile at the person.
You can also make comments like “yes,” “uh huh,” or “mmhmmm” during the conversation.
Watch their behaviors, tones, body language, facial expressions, and how they relate to others. Use empathy to try to experience what they are talking about. Doing this will also help you be more present in a conversation and more able to respond appropriately.
1-4. Make small contributions during group conversations.
It can be easy to sit back and observe a conversation instead of actually participating in the conversation. This is even more difficult if the group of people all know each other, and you are an outsider. If this is the case, try to stay engaged in the conversation and make small statements such as:
”Yeah, I know right.”
”That’s crazy.”
”I heard that too.”
Laugh when other people laugh instead of being silent.
These small statements can also prepare you to start saying more when you feel more comfortable.
1-5. Ask open ended questions.
Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. These types of questions keep the conversation going and allow you to learn about the other person. Most people like talking about themselves so this takes the burden off of you.
For example, instead of saying, “Do you have a pet?” you say, “What type of animals do you like?”
Instead of saying, “Do you have plans this weekend?” you say, “What are you looking forward to this weekend?”
1-6. Speak early in the conversation.
When you are entering a group situation where you would like to speak more, try to get in the conversation within the first 10 minutes. If you jump in the conversation early, you are less likely to clam up or chicken out. You do not have to make a big contribution to the conversation either.
Simply agreeing with someone or asking a question will do.
2. Becoming a Good Conversationalist
2-1. Have small interactions.
Build up your skills by having small interactions with people. Taking small steps will increase your confidence in your abilities. Because the interactions are small, it is not a big deal if they end up being awkward.
Smile at a person on the street.
Start a conversation with a cashier, waitress, salesperson, delivery person, or the mailman.
Give someone a genuine compliment.
Ask someone an informal question. If you were in a checkout line, you may say, "Have you been really busy today?"
2-2. Study current events.
Stay up-to-date on current events such news, sports, entertainment, and television. This will allow you to participate in any conversation that you find yourself in. You do not need in-depth knowledge about all topics, just enough to be able to comment and give an opinion.
Choose a few news or popular culture websites that you can skim daily to stay up-to-date.
You can also read the newspaper or watch the news once a day to keep up.
2-3. Move the conversation forward.
When someone else is speaking, they will give clues about other topics you can discuss. If you listen, you can identify different ways to move the conversation forward.
For example, if someone says, "Yesterday, I went out to eat with Michael." Based on that sentence, you could ask about the restaurant, other activities for the day, and Michael.
You could also connect any of those answers to your personal experiences. You could discuss any restaurants that you have been to or any new ones that you would like to try.
2-4. Have open, accepting body language.
Make good eye contact and stand up straight. Speak confidently: project your voice so that the person can hear you, don't speak too quickly, and speak with a friendly, outgoing tone. These small tips can help others better understand you, but it also can help you feel more accomplished and heard socially.
2-5. Practice as much as possible.
Being a good conversationalist is a skill that can be developed. The more you practice, the better you will get. You will be less nervous in social situations, and being talkative will feel more natural.
3. Overcoming Your Shyness
3-1. Choose an area of improvement.
You may be shy in certain situations and more comfortable speaking in others. Choose an area where you would like to improve. Do you want to be more talkative at work? Would you like to talk to new people? Do you disappear in group conversations?
For example, If you were trying to speak more at work, a goal may be to give your opinion in a meeting or make small talk with 2 coworkers every day.
3-2. Recognize negative thought patterns.
There are many thought patterns that can cause you to become shy and uncomfortable in social settings. Although these thoughts are not the truth, they can make you feel insecure and less confident. Common thoughts include:
You are weird and/or unlikeable.
People will constantly judge you.
People will reject you if you make a mistake.
You are defined by what other people think of you.
Being rejected is the worst thing that can happen to you.
Your opinions are not important.
You have to say the right thing every time.
3-3. Talk out loud when you are alone.
As a shy person, you probably spend a lot of time in your own head. You have many thoughts that you do not share with other people, and you are used to being silent. You must train your brain to actually say your thoughts out loud.
Whenever you are completely alone (e.g. in the shower, your room, in the car) say every thought that comes to your mind.
Talk to yourself out loud for at least 5 minutes every day.
It will feel weird at first, but you will get used to it the more you do it.
3-4. Face your fears gradually.
You may be shy because you are afraid of rejection or looking silly or dumb in certain situations. You cannot overcome your fears overnight. It will take time and practice. Set an overall goal and then take small steps to reach it. Start with the least stressful steps and work your way up. For example, if you are afraid of talking to new people in a group setting, here are the steps you could take:
Smile and make eye contact with a few people.
Ask someone a question such as, "How did you hear about this event?" or "Have you been here before?"
Find an approachable group of people and then join the group. Listen to the conversation and make a few comments if you want to.
Join a group again, but join in the conversation this time.
Do not move to the next step until you have had a positive experience in the previous one. For example, you would not ask someone a question until you have smiled at a few people and received a smile back.
3-5. Get out of your comfort zone.
Shy people tend to do the same activities a lot and hang out with the same group of people. Put yourself in new situations to get out of your comfort zone. One of the best ways to do this is to volunteer or join a club that you are interested in.
If you volunteer or join some type of club, you will already have something in common with the other people. It will be easier for you to talk to them.
Trying new things will also give you new topics you can discuss with other people.
3-6. Be patient.
You will not go from being shy to talkative overnight. It is important that you have realistic expectations and be kind to yourself. Just try to make progress each day. If you smiled at one person on Monday, then try to smile at 2 people on Tuesday. If you are consistent, you will make improvements.
You may make a mistake or feel silly sometimes. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.
Keep in mind that some people may not have time to speak with you or they could just be rude. Do not take it personally if you are not successful.
4. Thriving in Social Settings
4-1. Attend group activities.
Try to go to group activities where you can be around people who share your interests. Shared interests give you an automatic connection to the other people you are around. You will not have to worry so much about what to talk about.
Also accept invites from friends to go different places whether you are excited about the event or not. Once you are there, you may find that you are actually having a good time.
Group activities you can try include school clubs, sports teams, or volunteer activities in your community.
4-2. Arrive early.
It could be tempting to show up late to an event so that you can just blend in to the crowd. However, this will actually work against you. Arrive early to give yourself time to adjust to the surroundings and get more comfortable. If you know the person who is hosting the event, ask if they need any help setting up. You will feel more comfortable because you have something to do.
By the time the crowd comes in, you will already feel comfortable.
For example, if the party starts at 7:00 pm, get there at 6:45 pm.
4-3. Take a break.
You may get overwhelmed or drained when you are socializing with others. This is completely normal. If possible, set a time limit for how long you will stay. Maybe you plan to go to the party for an hour and interact with people.
If you are not able to leave, try to get 10-15 minutes of alone time in a bathroom or a quiet area.
You will feel refreshed after being by yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talking to New People\\n1-1. Practice some conversation starters.\\nStarting a conversation with someone you do not know can be difficult. You will feel less awkward if you are well prepared. Prepare some conversation starters before you go somewhere so you will have something to talk about.\\nIf you are going to a party, you may say, “The food is really good. Have you tried the ____?” or “How do you know ____?”\\nYou can give a compliment. “Hey, I love your shirt. Where did you get it?”\\nIf you are going to a place where you have something in common with the people there, talk about what you have in common and then ask a question. You may say, “I love video games too, what is your favorite one?”\\n1-2. Practice what you will say.\\nWrite down what you would like to say and rehearse in front of the mirror or out loud. This will help the conversation feel more natural when you actually go through with it. Even though you practice, things may not go exactly how you planned, but that's okay.\\nAfter you have practiced and tried to do it in real life, you can make adjustments based on your experience.\\nYour practice should be specific to the challenge that you are taking on. If you are going to school, your practice conversations may focus on studying, note taking, or an upcoming project or test. If you are going to a party, your practice conversation may focus on music, providing compliments, and food at the party.\\n1-3. Focus on the other person.\\nBecause you are shy, you are probably thinking about yourself when you interact with others. You may worry about how the other person perceives you or what you will say next. Instead of thinking about yourself and your feelings, focus on what the other person is saying or what is going on around you.\\n\\nBeing a good listener can help you focus on the other person. Make eye contact, nod your head every once in a while, and smile at the person.\\nYou can also make comments like “yes,” “uh huh,” or “mmhmmm” during the conversation.\\nWatch their behaviors, tones, body language, facial expressions, and how they relate to others. Use empathy to try to experience what they are talking about. Doing this will also help you be more present in a conversation and more able to respond appropriately.\\n1-4. Make small contributions during group conversations.\\nIt can be easy to sit back and observe a conversation instead of actually participating in the conversation. This is even more difficult if the group of people all know each other, and you are an outsider. If this is the case, try to stay engaged in the conversation and make small statements such as:\\n”Yeah, I know right.”\\n”That’s crazy.”\\n”I heard that too.”\\nLaugh when other people laugh instead of being silent.\\nThese small statements can also prepare you to start saying more when you feel more comfortable.\\n1-5. Ask open ended questions.\\nOpen-ended questions are questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. These types of questions keep the conversation going and allow you to learn about the other person. Most people like talking about themselves so this takes the burden off of you.\\nFor example, instead of saying, “Do you have a pet?” you say, “What type of animals do you like?”\\nInstead of saying, “Do you have plans this weekend?” you say, “What are you looking forward to this weekend?”\\n1-6. Speak early in the conversation.\\nWhen you are entering a group situation where you would like to speak more, try to get in the conversation within the first 10 minutes. If you jump in the conversation early, you are less likely to clam up or chicken out. You do not have to make a big contribution to the conversation either.\\nSimply agreeing with someone or asking a question will do.\\n2. Becoming a Good Conversationalist\\n2-1. Have small interactions.\\nBuild up your skills by having small interactions with people. Taking small steps will increase your confidence in your abilities. Because the interactions are small, it is not a big deal if they end up being awkward.\\nSmile at a person on the street.\\nStart a conversation with a cashier, waitress, salesperson, delivery person, or the mailman.\\nGive someone a genuine compliment.\\nAsk someone an informal question. If you were in a checkout line, you may say, \\\"Have you been really busy today?\\\"\\n2-2. Study current events.\\nStay up-to-date on current events such news, sports, entertainment, and television. This will allow you to participate in any conversation that you find yourself in. You do not need in-depth knowledge about all topics, just enough to be able to comment and give an opinion.\\nChoose a few news or popular culture websites that you can skim daily to stay up-to-date.\\nYou can also read the newspaper or watch the news once a day to keep up.\\n2-3. Move the conversation forward.\\nWhen someone else is speaking, they will give clues about other topics you can discuss. If you listen, you can identify different ways to move the conversation forward.\\nFor example, if someone says, \\\"Yesterday, I went out to eat with Michael.\\\" Based on that sentence, you could ask about the restaurant, other activities for the day, and Michael.\\nYou could also connect any of those answers to your personal experiences. You could discuss any restaurants that you have been to or any new ones that you would like to try.\\n2-4. Have open, accepting body language.\\nMake good eye contact and stand up straight. Speak confidently: project your voice so that the person can hear you, don't speak too quickly, and speak with a friendly, outgoing tone. These small tips can help others better understand you, but it also can help you feel more accomplished and heard socially.\\n2-5. Practice as much as possible.\\nBeing a good conversationalist is a skill that can be developed. The more you practice, the better you will get. You will be less nervous in social situations, and being talkative will feel more natural.\\n3. Overcoming Your Shyness\\n3-1. Choose an area of improvement.\\nYou may be shy in certain situations and more comfortable speaking in others. Choose an area where you would like to improve. Do you want to be more talkative at work? Would you like to talk to new people? Do you disappear in group conversations?\\nFor example, If you were trying to speak more at work, a goal may be to give your opinion in a meeting or make small talk with 2 coworkers every day.\\n3-2. Recognize negative thought patterns.\\nThere are many thought patterns that can cause you to become shy and uncomfortable in social settings. Although these thoughts are not the truth, they can make you feel insecure and less confident. Common thoughts include:\\nYou are weird and/or unlikeable.\\nPeople will constantly judge you.\\nPeople will reject you if you make a mistake.\\nYou are defined by what other people think of you.\\nBeing rejected is the worst thing that can happen to you.\\nYour opinions are not important.\\nYou have to say the right thing every time.\\n3-3. Talk out loud when you are alone.\\nAs a shy person, you probably spend a lot of time in your own head. You have many thoughts that you do not share with other people, and you are used to being silent. You must train your brain to actually say your thoughts out loud.\\nWhenever you are completely alone (e.g. in the shower, your room, in the car) say every thought that comes to your mind.\\nTalk to yourself out loud for at least 5 minutes every day.\\nIt will feel weird at first, but you will get used to it the more you do it.\\n3-4. Face your fears gradually.\\nYou may be shy because you are afraid of rejection or looking silly or dumb in certain situations. You cannot overcome your fears overnight. It will take time and practice. Set an overall goal and then take small steps to reach it. Start with the least stressful steps and work your way up. For example, if you are afraid of talking to new people in a group setting, here are the steps you could take:\\nSmile and make eye contact with a few people.\\nAsk someone a question such as, \\\"How did you hear about this event?\\\" or \\\"Have you been here before?\\\"\\nFind an approachable group of people and then join the group. Listen to the conversation and make a few comments if you want to.\\nJoin a group again, but join in the conversation this time.\\nDo not move to the next step until you have had a positive experience in the previous one. For example, you would not ask someone a question until you have smiled at a few people and received a smile back.\\n3-5. Get out of your comfort zone.\\nShy people tend to do the same activities a lot and hang out with the same group of people. Put yourself in new situations to get out of your comfort zone. One of the best ways to do this is to volunteer or join a club that you are interested in.\\nIf you volunteer or join some type of club, you will already have something in common with the other people. It will be easier for you to talk to them.\\nTrying new things will also give you new topics you can discuss with other people.\\n3-6. Be patient.\\nYou will not go from being shy to talkative overnight. It is important that you have realistic expectations and be kind to yourself. Just try to make progress each day. If you smiled at one person on Monday, then try to smile at 2 people on Tuesday. If you are consistent, you will make improvements.\\nYou may make a mistake or feel silly sometimes. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.\\nKeep in mind that some people may not have time to speak with you or they could just be rude. Do not take it personally if you are not successful.\\n4. Thriving in Social Settings\\n4-1. Attend group activities.\\nTry to go to group activities where you can be around people who share your interests. Shared interests give you an automatic connection to the other people you are around. You will not have to worry so much about what to talk about. \\nAlso accept invites from friends to go different places whether you are excited about the event or not. Once you are there, you may find that you are actually having a good time.\\nGroup activities you can try include school clubs, sports teams, or volunteer activities in your community.\\n4-2. Arrive early.\\nIt could be tempting to show up late to an event so that you can just blend in to the crowd. However, this will actually work against you. Arrive early to give yourself time to adjust to the surroundings and get more comfortable. If you know the person who is hosting the event, ask if they need any help setting up. You will feel more comfortable because you have something to do.\\nBy the time the crowd comes in, you will already feel comfortable.\\nFor example, if the party starts at 7:00 pm, get there at 6:45 pm.\\n4-3. Take a break.\\nYou may get overwhelmed or drained when you are socializing with others. This is completely normal. If possible, set a time limit for how long you will stay. Maybe you plan to go to the party for an hour and interact with people.\\nIf you are not able to leave, try to get 10-15 minutes of alone time in a bathroom or a quiet area.\\nYou will feel refreshed after being by yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Shyness is not a bad quality to have. However, your shyness may cause you to talk less or feel uncomfortable in social settings. Begin by taking small steps to feel more confident talking to new people and joining group conversations. Being shy does not have to stop you from having friends and a good social life. Becoming more social will take time. You must slowly address your fears and negative thoughts and step out of your comfort zone to practice your social skills.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talking to New People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice some conversation starters.\", \"描述\": \"Starting a conversation with someone you do not know can be difficult. You will feel less awkward if you are well prepared. Prepare some conversation starters before you go somewhere so you will have something to talk about.\\nIf you are going to a party, you may say, “The food is really good. Have you tried the ____?” or “How do you know ____?”\\nYou can give a compliment. “Hey, I love your shirt. Where did you get it?”\\nIf you are going to a place where you have something in common with the people there, talk about what you have in common and then ask a question. You may say, “I love video games too, what is your favorite one?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice what you will say.\", \"描述\": \"Write down what you would like to say and rehearse in front of the mirror or out loud. This will help the conversation feel more natural when you actually go through with it. Even though you practice, things may not go exactly how you planned, but that's okay.\\nAfter you have practiced and tried to do it in real life, you can make adjustments based on your experience.\\nYour practice should be specific to the challenge that you are taking on. If you are going to school, your practice conversations may focus on studying, note taking, or an upcoming project or test. If you are going to a party, your practice conversation may focus on music, providing compliments, and food at the party.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on the other person.\", \"描述\": \"Because you are shy, you are probably thinking about yourself when you interact with others. You may worry about how the other person perceives you or what you will say next. Instead of thinking about yourself and your feelings, focus on what the other person is saying or what is going on around you.\\n\\nBeing a good listener can help you focus on the other person. Make eye contact, nod your head every once in a while, and smile at the person.\\nYou can also make comments like “yes,” “uh huh,” or “mmhmmm” during the conversation.\\nWatch their behaviors, tones, body language, facial expressions, and how they relate to others. Use empathy to try to experience what they are talking about. Doing this will also help you be more present in a conversation and more able to respond appropriately.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make small contributions during group conversations.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to sit back and observe a conversation instead of actually participating in the conversation. This is even more difficult if the group of people all know each other, and you are an outsider. If this is the case, try to stay engaged in the conversation and make small statements such as:\\n”Yeah, I know right.”\\n”That’s crazy.”\\n”I heard that too.”\\nLaugh when other people laugh instead of being silent.\\nThese small statements can also prepare you to start saying more when you feel more comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask open ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. These types of questions keep the conversation going and allow you to learn about the other person. Most people like talking about themselves so this takes the burden off of you.\\nFor example, instead of saying, “Do you have a pet?” you say, “What type of animals do you like?”\\nInstead of saying, “Do you have plans this weekend?” you say, “What are you looking forward to this weekend?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Speak early in the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"When you are entering a group situation where you would like to speak more, try to get in the conversation within the first 10 minutes. If you jump in the conversation early, you are less likely to clam up or chicken out. You do not have to make a big contribution to the conversation either.\\nSimply agreeing with someone or asking a question will do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming a Good Conversationalist\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have small interactions.\", \"描述\": \"Build up your skills by having small interactions with people. Taking small steps will increase your confidence in your abilities. Because the interactions are small, it is not a big deal if they end up being awkward.\\nSmile at a person on the street.\\nStart a conversation with a cashier, waitress, salesperson, delivery person, or the mailman.\\nGive someone a genuine compliment.\\nAsk someone an informal question. If you were in a checkout line, you may say, \\\"Have you been really busy today?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Study current events.\", \"描述\": \"Stay up-to-date on current events such news, sports, entertainment, and television. This will allow you to participate in any conversation that you find yourself in. You do not need in-depth knowledge about all topics, just enough to be able to comment and give an opinion.\\nChoose a few news or popular culture websites that you can skim daily to stay up-to-date.\\nYou can also read the newspaper or watch the news once a day to keep up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Move the conversation forward.\", \"描述\": \"When someone else is speaking, they will give clues about other topics you can discuss. If you listen, you can identify different ways to move the conversation forward.\\nFor example, if someone says, \\\"Yesterday, I went out to eat with Michael.\\\" Based on that sentence, you could ask about the restaurant, other activities for the day, and Michael.\\nYou could also connect any of those answers to your personal experiences. You could discuss any restaurants that you have been to or any new ones that you would like to try.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have open, accepting body language.\", \"描述\": \"Make good eye contact and stand up straight. Speak confidently: project your voice so that the person can hear you, don't speak too quickly, and speak with a friendly, outgoing tone. These small tips can help others better understand you, but it also can help you feel more accomplished and heard socially.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice as much as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Being a good conversationalist is a skill that can be developed. The more you practice, the better you will get. You will be less nervous in social situations, and being talkative will feel more natural.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Your Shyness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose an area of improvement.\", \"描述\": \"You may be shy in certain situations and more comfortable speaking in others. Choose an area where you would like to improve. Do you want to be more talkative at work? Would you like to talk to new people? Do you disappear in group conversations?\\nFor example, If you were trying to speak more at work, a goal may be to give your opinion in a meeting or make small talk with 2 coworkers every day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize negative thought patterns.\", \"描述\": \"There are many thought patterns that can cause you to become shy and uncomfortable in social settings. Although these thoughts are not the truth, they can make you feel insecure and less confident. Common thoughts include:\\nYou are weird and/or unlikeable.\\nPeople will constantly judge you.\\nPeople will reject you if you make a mistake.\\nYou are defined by what other people think of you.\\nBeing rejected is the worst thing that can happen to you.\\nYour opinions are not important.\\nYou have to say the right thing every time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk out loud when you are alone.\", \"描述\": \"As a shy person, you probably spend a lot of time in your own head. You have many thoughts that you do not share with other people, and you are used to being silent. You must train your brain to actually say your thoughts out loud.\\nWhenever you are completely alone (e.g. in the shower, your room, in the car) say every thought that comes to your mind.\\nTalk to yourself out loud for at least 5 minutes every day.\\nIt will feel weird at first, but you will get used to it the more you do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Face your fears gradually.\", \"描述\": \"You may be shy because you are afraid of rejection or looking silly or dumb in certain situations. You cannot overcome your fears overnight. It will take time and practice. Set an overall goal and then take small steps to reach it. Start with the least stressful steps and work your way up. For example, if you are afraid of talking to new people in a group setting, here are the steps you could take:\\nSmile and make eye contact with a few people.\\nAsk someone a question such as, \\\"How did you hear about this event?\\\" or \\\"Have you been here before?\\\"\\nFind an approachable group of people and then join the group. Listen to the conversation and make a few comments if you want to.\\nJoin a group again, but join in the conversation this time.\\nDo not move to the next step until you have had a positive experience in the previous one. For example, you would not ask someone a question until you have smiled at a few people and received a smile back.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Shy people tend to do the same activities a lot and hang out with the same group of people. Put yourself in new situations to get out of your comfort zone. One of the best ways to do this is to volunteer or join a club that you are interested in.\\nIf you volunteer or join some type of club, you will already have something in common with the other people. It will be easier for you to talk to them.\\nTrying new things will also give you new topics you can discuss with other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"You will not go from being shy to talkative overnight. It is important that you have realistic expectations and be kind to yourself. Just try to make progress each day. If you smiled at one person on Monday, then try to smile at 2 people on Tuesday. If you are consistent, you will make improvements.\\nYou may make a mistake or feel silly sometimes. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.\\nKeep in mind that some people may not have time to speak with you or they could just be rude. Do not take it personally if you are not successful.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thriving in Social Settings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attend group activities.\", \"描述\": \"Try to go to group activities where you can be around people who share your interests. Shared interests give you an automatic connection to the other people you are around. You will not have to worry so much about what to talk about. \\nAlso accept invites from friends to go different places whether you are excited about the event or not. Once you are there, you may find that you are actually having a good time.\\nGroup activities you can try include school clubs, sports teams, or volunteer activities in your community.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Arrive early.\", \"描述\": \"It could be tempting to show up late to an event so that you can just blend in to the crowd. However, this will actually work against you. Arrive early to give yourself time to adjust to the surroundings and get more comfortable. If you know the person who is hosting the event, ask if they need any help setting up. You will feel more comfortable because you have something to do.\\nBy the time the crowd comes in, you will already feel comfortable.\\nFor example, if the party starts at 7:00 pm, get there at 6:45 pm.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a break.\", \"描述\": \"You may get overwhelmed or drained when you are socializing with others. This is completely normal. If possible, set a time limit for how long you will stay. Maybe you plan to go to the party for an hour and interact with people.\\nIf you are not able to leave, try to get 10-15 minutes of alone time in a bathroom or a quiet area.\\nYou will feel refreshed after being by yourself.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,962 | How to Be More Thoughtful | 1. Treating Others Thoughtfully
1-1. Acknowledge those around you.
Always greet the people you share space with when you become aware of their presence. Even if you feel tired or shy, make the effort to acknowledge that others exist, and that you exist with them.
When you enter a room, say hello to everyone within. Make eye contact, and smile if you are up to it. When someone else enters a room you are in, do the same. If you and they have a moment, ask how they are and share how you are in return.
Use everyone's name, and make sure you know how to pronounce it.
Say goodbye when you leave or when someone exits a space you are in.
If you bump someone, apologize.
Acknowledge the needs of those you share space with. If there is food to share, take a proportionate amount.
Ask real questions. When you chat with someone, ask them specific questions about their life. If you get a friendly answer to a question, ask follow-up questions. Try to learn how someone lives, what is most important to them, and what they enjoy over the course of your conversations.
If you pick up on how someone is feeling, acknowledge it! Ask how they are. If they seem upset, ask if there's something you can do. If they seem happy, say they seem well and ask if they're having a good day.
Acknowledge moments of difficulty and moments of celebration in the lives of those around you. Offer sympathy when someone is unhappy, and warm congratulations when they achieve something.
1-2. Anticipate the needs of others.
It's great to help when asked, but it's even more thoughtful to anticipate the kind of help that would make the biggest difference in a moment. If your partner is coming home with groceries, meet them outside to help carry the bags into the house. If your coworker has a flight at an early hour, you might offer to drive them to the airport.
If someone you know is going through something difficult or labor-intensive, think of a way to help relieve them of ordinary activities.
If you learn, for instance, that your friend is finishing a big grant proposal over the weekend, offer to bring her a meal or to watch her kids.
Organize with others who might also want to help. If someone you know is going through a health crisis, get in touch with their closest friends and organize a meal train so that they don't have to cook.
With some thoughtful attention, you can become an expert on the needs of your loved ones. For instance, you may be the only person who understands a close friend's moods—when she starts making tons of exciting plans, you may be the only one who can anticipate that she will overbook herself and burn out, and the only person close enough to remind her that she may be attempting too much at once.
1-3. Gather information about people in your life.
When you learn something about someone in your life, make a mental note of it. This is material that you can return to when you wish to act in a thoughtful way.
Listen actively. Pay attention to people who speak to you. Show that you are listening by nodding occasionally, reacting with your face, asking questions, and occasionally repeating what is said to make sure you have it right.
Write things down. If you learn something you think you may forget, such as the date of a friend's upcoming surgery, write it down in your calendar so that you can send them a card or check up on them when the time comes.
Consider keeping a birthday calendar—write the birthdays of everyone you know on a calendar, and update it with the birthdays of new babies and new acquaintances. This should be separate from your yearly calendar, as you will refer to it year after year.
1-4. Mark important events.
When something important happens in the life of someone you know, mark the occasion. Write cards, call, or send flowers or another gift. If you're only casually acquainted, you might comment on social media or just make a note to yourself to say something when you see them.
If you know that your friend prefers one form of contact to another, it is thoughtful of you to respond in that way.
Write cards. Write thank-you cards, condolence cards, birthday cards, retirement, birth-of-child, thinking-of-you, and graduation cards. It may seem fussy, but they really do make people feel good. Write someone a card, and consider giving them a call as well.
You don't have to buy occasion-specific cards each time: keep a few packs of blank-inside beautiful cards around the house, and write a personal message inside that is appropriate to the occasion. One cheerful pattern and one calming pattern is all you need: send cheerful cards for birthdays, graduations, and other good news, and send the calming image for condolence cards and other more sober moments.
It is perfectly appropriate to send a card when someone is sick, has lost a job, or is otherwise struggling with personal or familial hardship.
It may feel awkward to mark a sad or complex moment, but it will feel more awkward later when you see the person and don't know what to say face to face.
1-5. Ask permission when your actions involve others.
It's thoughtful to consider how your acts will make others feel. Even if it isn't clear how much your act will ultimately affect another, it is still thoughtful to consider that they might want to have some say. For instance, if you have a funny experience with a friend, ask their permission before you tell the story to others.
Get consent before touching someone. Even a hug or a friendly pat on the back can feel uncomfortable for some people, and others just want to be asked before they are touched.
Even kids deserve this sort of consideration. Ask your child before you post her picture on social media—she may want to keep it in the family instead.
2. Caring for a Loved One
2-1. Learn what makes your loved one feel loved.
Everyone expresses and receives comfort in different ways. To be thoughtful, learn what makes the most difference to your loved ones. Your mother may want a call every day, for instance, while your father doesn't care if you call much but would be hurt if you didn't mark his birthday with a thoughtful gift.
What kinds of loving acts mean the most to your loved one? Do they respond most to acts of service, to gifts, to quality time, to affectionate words, to physical touch? Do they need to feel like you understand their motivations? Is it important to them that you are physically present at certain kinds of event?
If you're not sure, ask yourself what you have done for your loved one that they speak of often, or that made them cry. If you're not sure, ask them.
Brainstorm things that they like, and work them into your routine. For instance, if your parents feel supported when you do housework, assign yourself more regular chores. If your kid gets clingy when they need comfort, get into the habit of giving them regular hugs.
2-2. Acknowledge what your loved one does for you.
Take a moment every day to consider the things you are given. Express your appreciation to those who give to you: from the barista who makes your drink to the spouse who stays calm while you panic about your missing keys.
Notice the small things. You might not notice all the things people give to you—apart from material goods, someone may give you time, emotional energy, or even thoughtful attention. When a loved one does something that affects you, think of their motivation. They may be doing it to make you feel good.
Ask yourself if there are things your loved one does for you that you could do in return. Oftentimes, the things you think to do for other people align more with your own needs than with theirs. Therefore, if you want to find out what your loved one needs, you might look to what they give you.
For instance, if your partner always gives you nice shoulder massages, you might offer them a massage in return. It's possible that they have shoulder pain and are unconsciously assuming that your shoulders hurt too.
2-3. Check in.
When you greet one another and when you have a moment alone, try to see how your loved one feels. Ask, but also observe. Do they look focused and alert? Do they look tired, sad, or worried? Are they frowning, tapping their hand, or checking their phone every three minutes?
Ask your partner how they are feeling. "How are you? Have you had a good day?"
Ask specific questions about things you think they might want to talk about
If your partner seems distant, anxious, or sad, ask: "is anything bothering you?"
You can say what you perceive: "You seem a little preoccupied. Is there something on your mind?"
3. Slowing Down
3-1. Think before you speak.
Thoughtful people tend to consider a statement before they make it. While there are some familiar situations where you can freely respond to a question or comment without fear of saying the wrong thing, in most cases it pays to consider your response.
Think of the best way to word what you are saying. You might have a generous thought that, if worded incorrectly, will make the hearer feel terrible. Think of the words that will best communicate to your listener what you wish to say.
Listen to your gut. If you feel a pang of misgiving, pause and consider the implications of what you are saying.
Similarly, you may choose to re-read an email before you send it.
3-2. Reflect on your days.
You will be more thoughtful in all things if you take the time to remember and analyze your day. Talk about your day with your friends and family, so long as you also listen to their account of their own. Write what you did and how you felt about it in a nightly journal. This is a way of dedicating thought to the mundane, a practice which will necessarily make you more thoughtful.
Consider getting a therapist if you feel you have more to sort through than you can possibly cover in a conversation.
3-3. Step away from your decisions.
If you are faced with a big decision, or even a medium-sized one, take your time making it. Come up with careful questions and run them by people in your life. While you may feel strongly inclined one way or another, letting your thoughts settle in your mind will result in a more satisfying decision. If you can, sleep on it before you give your verdict.
If you don't have the time to actually get a full night's sleep before making a choice, do try to step away briefly. If you are making an important decision at work, for instance, try taking a brief walk or giving yourself a long lunch break before you express your decision.
3-4. Take your time with projects that matter.
The old saw that "anything worth doing is worth doing well" has some merit. Work produced thoughtfully tends to impress. Allocate enough time to give every project the attention it deserves. Keep the main aim of your project in mind while exploring possibly related themes that may end up informing the end product.
As with decisions, taking time away from projects will help you see them more clearly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Treating Others Thoughtfully\\n1-1. Acknowledge those around you.\\nAlways greet the people you share space with when you become aware of their presence. Even if you feel tired or shy, make the effort to acknowledge that others exist, and that you exist with them.\\nWhen you enter a room, say hello to everyone within. Make eye contact, and smile if you are up to it. When someone else enters a room you are in, do the same. If you and they have a moment, ask how they are and share how you are in return.\\nUse everyone's name, and make sure you know how to pronounce it.\\nSay goodbye when you leave or when someone exits a space you are in.\\nIf you bump someone, apologize.\\nAcknowledge the needs of those you share space with. If there is food to share, take a proportionate amount.\\nAsk real questions. When you chat with someone, ask them specific questions about their life. If you get a friendly answer to a question, ask follow-up questions. Try to learn how someone lives, what is most important to them, and what they enjoy over the course of your conversations.\\nIf you pick up on how someone is feeling, acknowledge it! Ask how they are. If they seem upset, ask if there's something you can do. If they seem happy, say they seem well and ask if they're having a good day.\\nAcknowledge moments of difficulty and moments of celebration in the lives of those around you. Offer sympathy when someone is unhappy, and warm congratulations when they achieve something.\\n1-2. Anticipate the needs of others.\\nIt's great to help when asked, but it's even more thoughtful to anticipate the kind of help that would make the biggest difference in a moment. If your partner is coming home with groceries, meet them outside to help carry the bags into the house. If your coworker has a flight at an early hour, you might offer to drive them to the airport.\\nIf someone you know is going through something difficult or labor-intensive, think of a way to help relieve them of ordinary activities.\\nIf you learn, for instance, that your friend is finishing a big grant proposal over the weekend, offer to bring her a meal or to watch her kids.\\nOrganize with others who might also want to help. If someone you know is going through a health crisis, get in touch with their closest friends and organize a meal train so that they don't have to cook.\\nWith some thoughtful attention, you can become an expert on the needs of your loved ones. For instance, you may be the only person who understands a close friend's moods—when she starts making tons of exciting plans, you may be the only one who can anticipate that she will overbook herself and burn out, and the only person close enough to remind her that she may be attempting too much at once.\\n1-3. Gather information about people in your life.\\nWhen you learn something about someone in your life, make a mental note of it. This is material that you can return to when you wish to act in a thoughtful way.\\nListen actively. Pay attention to people who speak to you. Show that you are listening by nodding occasionally, reacting with your face, asking questions, and occasionally repeating what is said to make sure you have it right.\\nWrite things down. If you learn something you think you may forget, such as the date of a friend's upcoming surgery, write it down in your calendar so that you can send them a card or check up on them when the time comes.\\nConsider keeping a birthday calendar—write the birthdays of everyone you know on a calendar, and update it with the birthdays of new babies and new acquaintances. This should be separate from your yearly calendar, as you will refer to it year after year.\\n1-4. Mark important events.\\nWhen something important happens in the life of someone you know, mark the occasion. Write cards, call, or send flowers or another gift. If you're only casually acquainted, you might comment on social media or just make a note to yourself to say something when you see them.\\nIf you know that your friend prefers one form of contact to another, it is thoughtful of you to respond in that way.\\nWrite cards. Write thank-you cards, condolence cards, birthday cards, retirement, birth-of-child, thinking-of-you, and graduation cards. It may seem fussy, but they really do make people feel good. Write someone a card, and consider giving them a call as well.\\nYou don't have to buy occasion-specific cards each time: keep a few packs of blank-inside beautiful cards around the house, and write a personal message inside that is appropriate to the occasion. One cheerful pattern and one calming pattern is all you need: send cheerful cards for birthdays, graduations, and other good news, and send the calming image for condolence cards and other more sober moments.\\nIt is perfectly appropriate to send a card when someone is sick, has lost a job, or is otherwise struggling with personal or familial hardship.\\nIt may feel awkward to mark a sad or complex moment, but it will feel more awkward later when you see the person and don't know what to say face to face.\\n1-5. Ask permission when your actions involve others.\\nIt's thoughtful to consider how your acts will make others feel. Even if it isn't clear how much your act will ultimately affect another, it is still thoughtful to consider that they might want to have some say. For instance, if you have a funny experience with a friend, ask their permission before you tell the story to others.\\nGet consent before touching someone. Even a hug or a friendly pat on the back can feel uncomfortable for some people, and others just want to be asked before they are touched.\\nEven kids deserve this sort of consideration. Ask your child before you post her picture on social media—she may want to keep it in the family instead.\\n2. Caring for a Loved One\\n2-1. Learn what makes your loved one feel loved.\\nEveryone expresses and receives comfort in different ways. To be thoughtful, learn what makes the most difference to your loved ones. Your mother may want a call every day, for instance, while your father doesn't care if you call much but would be hurt if you didn't mark his birthday with a thoughtful gift.\\nWhat kinds of loving acts mean the most to your loved one? Do they respond most to acts of service, to gifts, to quality time, to affectionate words, to physical touch? Do they need to feel like you understand their motivations? Is it important to them that you are physically present at certain kinds of event?\\nIf you're not sure, ask yourself what you have done for your loved one that they speak of often, or that made them cry. If you're not sure, ask them.\\nBrainstorm things that they like, and work them into your routine. For instance, if your parents feel supported when you do housework, assign yourself more regular chores. If your kid gets clingy when they need comfort, get into the habit of giving them regular hugs.\\n2-2. Acknowledge what your loved one does for you.\\nTake a moment every day to consider the things you are given. Express your appreciation to those who give to you: from the barista who makes your drink to the spouse who stays calm while you panic about your missing keys.\\nNotice the small things. You might not notice all the things people give to you—apart from material goods, someone may give you time, emotional energy, or even thoughtful attention. When a loved one does something that affects you, think of their motivation. They may be doing it to make you feel good.\\nAsk yourself if there are things your loved one does for you that you could do in return. Oftentimes, the things you think to do for other people align more with your own needs than with theirs. Therefore, if you want to find out what your loved one needs, you might look to what they give you.\\nFor instance, if your partner always gives you nice shoulder massages, you might offer them a massage in return. It's possible that they have shoulder pain and are unconsciously assuming that your shoulders hurt too.\\n2-3. Check in.\\nWhen you greet one another and when you have a moment alone, try to see how your loved one feels. Ask, but also observe. Do they look focused and alert? Do they look tired, sad, or worried? Are they frowning, tapping their hand, or checking their phone every three minutes?\\nAsk your partner how they are feeling. \\\"How are you? Have you had a good day?\\\"\\nAsk specific questions about things you think they might want to talk about\\nIf your partner seems distant, anxious, or sad, ask: \\\"is anything bothering you?\\\"\\nYou can say what you perceive: \\\"You seem a little preoccupied. Is there something on your mind?\\\"\\n3. Slowing Down\\n3-1. Think before you speak.\\nThoughtful people tend to consider a statement before they make it. While there are some familiar situations where you can freely respond to a question or comment without fear of saying the wrong thing, in most cases it pays to consider your response.\\nThink of the best way to word what you are saying. You might have a generous thought that, if worded incorrectly, will make the hearer feel terrible. Think of the words that will best communicate to your listener what you wish to say.\\nListen to your gut. If you feel a pang of misgiving, pause and consider the implications of what you are saying.\\nSimilarly, you may choose to re-read an email before you send it.\\n3-2. Reflect on your days.\\nYou will be more thoughtful in all things if you take the time to remember and analyze your day. Talk about your day with your friends and family, so long as you also listen to their account of their own. Write what you did and how you felt about it in a nightly journal. This is a way of dedicating thought to the mundane, a practice which will necessarily make you more thoughtful.\\nConsider getting a therapist if you feel you have more to sort through than you can possibly cover in a conversation.\\n3-3. Step away from your decisions.\\nIf you are faced with a big decision, or even a medium-sized one, take your time making it. Come up with careful questions and run them by people in your life. While you may feel strongly inclined one way or another, letting your thoughts settle in your mind will result in a more satisfying decision. If you can, sleep on it before you give your verdict.\\nIf you don't have the time to actually get a full night's sleep before making a choice, do try to step away briefly. If you are making an important decision at work, for instance, try taking a brief walk or giving yourself a long lunch break before you express your decision.\\n3-4. Take your time with projects that matter.\\nThe old saw that \\\"anything worth doing is worth doing well\\\" has some merit. Work produced thoughtfully tends to impress. Allocate enough time to give every project the attention it deserves. Keep the main aim of your project in mind while exploring possibly related themes that may end up informing the end product.\\nAs with decisions, taking time away from projects will help you see them more clearly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are thinking about being more thoughtful, you're already on your way. For some people, being a thoughtful friend or partner can take a little extra intentional effort. But with a little help, everyone can become more thoughtful in their relationships. And that's great news, because when you show other people that you care about their lives and needs, you can improve your relationships. By considering yourself and others, you will learn to pay attention to the small things, to anticipate the needs of others, and to notice the kindness that is given to you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treating Others Thoughtfully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge those around you.\", \"描述\": \"Always greet the people you share space with when you become aware of their presence. Even if you feel tired or shy, make the effort to acknowledge that others exist, and that you exist with them.\\nWhen you enter a room, say hello to everyone within. Make eye contact, and smile if you are up to it. When someone else enters a room you are in, do the same. If you and they have a moment, ask how they are and share how you are in return.\\nUse everyone's name, and make sure you know how to pronounce it.\\nSay goodbye when you leave or when someone exits a space you are in.\\nIf you bump someone, apologize.\\nAcknowledge the needs of those you share space with. If there is food to share, take a proportionate amount.\\nAsk real questions. When you chat with someone, ask them specific questions about their life. If you get a friendly answer to a question, ask follow-up questions. Try to learn how someone lives, what is most important to them, and what they enjoy over the course of your conversations.\\nIf you pick up on how someone is feeling, acknowledge it! Ask how they are. If they seem upset, ask if there's something you can do. If they seem happy, say they seem well and ask if they're having a good day.\\nAcknowledge moments of difficulty and moments of celebration in the lives of those around you. Offer sympathy when someone is unhappy, and warm congratulations when they achieve something.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Anticipate the needs of others.\", \"描述\": \"It's great to help when asked, but it's even more thoughtful to anticipate the kind of help that would make the biggest difference in a moment. If your partner is coming home with groceries, meet them outside to help carry the bags into the house. If your coworker has a flight at an early hour, you might offer to drive them to the airport.\\nIf someone you know is going through something difficult or labor-intensive, think of a way to help relieve them of ordinary activities.\\nIf you learn, for instance, that your friend is finishing a big grant proposal over the weekend, offer to bring her a meal or to watch her kids.\\nOrganize with others who might also want to help. If someone you know is going through a health crisis, get in touch with their closest friends and organize a meal train so that they don't have to cook.\\nWith some thoughtful attention, you can become an expert on the needs of your loved ones. For instance, you may be the only person who understands a close friend's moods—when she starts making tons of exciting plans, you may be the only one who can anticipate that she will overbook herself and burn out, and the only person close enough to remind her that she may be attempting too much at once.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gather information about people in your life.\", \"描述\": \"When you learn something about someone in your life, make a mental note of it. This is material that you can return to when you wish to act in a thoughtful way.\\nListen actively. Pay attention to people who speak to you. Show that you are listening by nodding occasionally, reacting with your face, asking questions, and occasionally repeating what is said to make sure you have it right.\\nWrite things down. If you learn something you think you may forget, such as the date of a friend's upcoming surgery, write it down in your calendar so that you can send them a card or check up on them when the time comes.\\nConsider keeping a birthday calendar—write the birthdays of everyone you know on a calendar, and update it with the birthdays of new babies and new acquaintances. This should be separate from your yearly calendar, as you will refer to it year after year.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Mark important events.\", \"描述\": \"When something important happens in the life of someone you know, mark the occasion. Write cards, call, or send flowers or another gift. If you're only casually acquainted, you might comment on social media or just make a note to yourself to say something when you see them.\\nIf you know that your friend prefers one form of contact to another, it is thoughtful of you to respond in that way.\\nWrite cards. Write thank-you cards, condolence cards, birthday cards, retirement, birth-of-child, thinking-of-you, and graduation cards. It may seem fussy, but they really do make people feel good. Write someone a card, and consider giving them a call as well.\\nYou don't have to buy occasion-specific cards each time: keep a few packs of blank-inside beautiful cards around the house, and write a personal message inside that is appropriate to the occasion. One cheerful pattern and one calming pattern is all you need: send cheerful cards for birthdays, graduations, and other good news, and send the calming image for condolence cards and other more sober moments.\\nIt is perfectly appropriate to send a card when someone is sick, has lost a job, or is otherwise struggling with personal or familial hardship.\\nIt may feel awkward to mark a sad or complex moment, but it will feel more awkward later when you see the person and don't know what to say face to face.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask permission when your actions involve others.\", \"描述\": \"It's thoughtful to consider how your acts will make others feel. Even if it isn't clear how much your act will ultimately affect another, it is still thoughtful to consider that they might want to have some say. For instance, if you have a funny experience with a friend, ask their permission before you tell the story to others.\\nGet consent before touching someone. Even a hug or a friendly pat on the back can feel uncomfortable for some people, and others just want to be asked before they are touched.\\nEven kids deserve this sort of consideration. Ask your child before you post her picture on social media—she may want to keep it in the family instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Caring for a Loved One\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn what makes your loved one feel loved.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone expresses and receives comfort in different ways. To be thoughtful, learn what makes the most difference to your loved ones. Your mother may want a call every day, for instance, while your father doesn't care if you call much but would be hurt if you didn't mark his birthday with a thoughtful gift.\\nWhat kinds of loving acts mean the most to your loved one? Do they respond most to acts of service, to gifts, to quality time, to affectionate words, to physical touch? Do they need to feel like you understand their motivations? Is it important to them that you are physically present at certain kinds of event?\\nIf you're not sure, ask yourself what you have done for your loved one that they speak of often, or that made them cry. If you're not sure, ask them.\\nBrainstorm things that they like, and work them into your routine. For instance, if your parents feel supported when you do housework, assign yourself more regular chores. If your kid gets clingy when they need comfort, get into the habit of giving them regular hugs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge what your loved one does for you.\", \"描述\": \"Take a moment every day to consider the things you are given. Express your appreciation to those who give to you: from the barista who makes your drink to the spouse who stays calm while you panic about your missing keys.\\nNotice the small things. You might not notice all the things people give to you—apart from material goods, someone may give you time, emotional energy, or even thoughtful attention. When a loved one does something that affects you, think of their motivation. They may be doing it to make you feel good.\\nAsk yourself if there are things your loved one does for you that you could do in return. Oftentimes, the things you think to do for other people align more with your own needs than with theirs. Therefore, if you want to find out what your loved one needs, you might look to what they give you.\\nFor instance, if your partner always gives you nice shoulder massages, you might offer them a massage in return. It's possible that they have shoulder pain and are unconsciously assuming that your shoulders hurt too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check in.\", \"描述\": \"When you greet one another and when you have a moment alone, try to see how your loved one feels. Ask, but also observe. Do they look focused and alert? Do they look tired, sad, or worried? Are they frowning, tapping their hand, or checking their phone every three minutes?\\nAsk your partner how they are feeling. \\\"How are you? Have you had a good day?\\\"\\nAsk specific questions about things you think they might want to talk about\\nIf your partner seems distant, anxious, or sad, ask: \\\"is anything bothering you?\\\"\\nYou can say what you perceive: \\\"You seem a little preoccupied. Is there something on your mind?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Slowing Down\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Thoughtful people tend to consider a statement before they make it. While there are some familiar situations where you can freely respond to a question or comment without fear of saying the wrong thing, in most cases it pays to consider your response.\\nThink of the best way to word what you are saying. You might have a generous thought that, if worded incorrectly, will make the hearer feel terrible. Think of the words that will best communicate to your listener what you wish to say.\\nListen to your gut. If you feel a pang of misgiving, pause and consider the implications of what you are saying.\\nSimilarly, you may choose to re-read an email before you send it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your days.\", \"描述\": \"You will be more thoughtful in all things if you take the time to remember and analyze your day. Talk about your day with your friends and family, so long as you also listen to their account of their own. Write what you did and how you felt about it in a nightly journal. This is a way of dedicating thought to the mundane, a practice which will necessarily make you more thoughtful.\\nConsider getting a therapist if you feel you have more to sort through than you can possibly cover in a conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Step away from your decisions.\", \"描述\": \"If you are faced with a big decision, or even a medium-sized one, take your time making it. Come up with careful questions and run them by people in your life. While you may feel strongly inclined one way or another, letting your thoughts settle in your mind will result in a more satisfying decision. If you can, sleep on it before you give your verdict.\\nIf you don't have the time to actually get a full night's sleep before making a choice, do try to step away briefly. If you are making an important decision at work, for instance, try taking a brief walk or giving yourself a long lunch break before you express your decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take your time with projects that matter.\", \"描述\": \"The old saw that \\\"anything worth doing is worth doing well\\\" has some merit. Work produced thoughtfully tends to impress. Allocate enough time to give every project the attention it deserves. Keep the main aim of your project in mind while exploring possibly related themes that may end up informing the end product.\\nAs with decisions, taking time away from projects will help you see them more clearly.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,963 | How to Be More Vulnerable in Relationships | 1. Defeating Your Fear
1-1. Make a list of reasons you're afraid to be vulnerable.
Think through some of the reasons you’re afraid to show your true self in a relationship. Ask yourself what you fear most from being open with someone. You may be trying to avoid getting hurt or trying to avoid hurting the other person in the relationship. Your ego may be preventing you from revealing what you see as weaknesses. Maybe you've had bad experiences opening up to others in the past. Be as honest as possible with yourself as you analyze your fears.
It may help to write it down on a piece of paper so that you can more clearly visualize your reasoning.
1-2. Focus on the positives.
There's a lot to gain from being vulnerable with someone, like a deeper sense of connection, more trust, and greater contentment. Focusing on these outcomes will help you get past whatever fears you may have. Find activities that help you stay positive, whether it be exercise, meditation, or journaling.
1-3. Talk to someone who truly cares about you.
Seek out a friend or family member who you feel most comfortable opening up to. Share with them the concerns you have about being vulnerable with others. They may be able to provide a perspective you haven't seen before. This can also serve as a rehearsal for being more open with someone else.
1-4. Seek professional help.
If you’re struggling to deal with opening up on your own, don’t be afraid to talk to a licensed therapist. They can help you work through your issues, either by simply listening or by giving you advice. Share the list you made about why you're afraid to be vulnerable or any past experiences that led you to feel this way.
2. Opening up to Someone
2-1. Start gradually.
Pick one thing you want to share with the other person in the relationship and start there. Don't try to share every worry and fear you have at once. This will overwhelm both you and the other person.
Try starting with something small, like sharing a worry you have about your career or a concern you have for a family member. Or show the person a hobby you've been working on that not many people know about.
For some, it is easiest to start sharing with someone who has shared personal or intimate details with you already. That way, there is more balance in the dynamic.
2-2. Set boundaries for conversations.
Start difficult conversations by stating what you want from the other person. Ask them to simply listen if you just want to vent frustrations. Be clear about whether you want advice. This can help you feel more in control if you’re anxious about what you’re going to share.
Try starting with, "I'd really like to get all this out before you say anything." Or ask, "Can I just vent right now?"
2-3. Admit your fear of vulnerability.
Be honest with the other person in the relationship about your concerns. Talk about any past experiences that have led you to want to hide your feelings. This will allow them to understand why you may hesitate to share your feelings. And they will know that you're trying to improve your communication.
After admitting your difficulties, try using a phrase like, "I'm working on it." Request that they point out instances in the future where you could open up more.
2-4. Reveal a mistake you've made.
Tell the other person something you did wrong or are ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes, and it's likely the other person will be able to relate to it. People are drawn to others who are authentic and down-to-earth, so don't try to hide your imperfections.
If you're ready for it, you can reveal something big, like a mistake that ended a past relationship. But even something small can help. Keep a mental log of interactions during the day that could have gone better. Maybe you were rude to a stranger and regret not being more kind. Revealing this shows the other person that you're reflective and conscientious.
2-5. Admit if you don't understand something.
Everyone wants to appear knowledgeable, but pretending like you know everything comes across as arrogant. Ask the other person to explain something to you if you don't get it. This will earn their respect and boost their confidence while also showing that you trust them.
You could ask them to explain a complex political issue or something they do at work that you don't understand. Or request that they teach you a new skill, like cooking or playing a sport.
Don't be afraid to request feedback and opinions on interactions with others. This can help clarify points that you don't understand, and give you specific areas to focus on next time.
2-6. Share your feelings while they're happening.
Bottling your emotions can lead to anger and frustration. But admitting that something is bothering you can help you address the problem immediately, and the other person will see your attempt at honesty.
You don't always have to speak your emotions. You can write them down or express them through music as a way of communicating them to the other person.
2-7. Reinforce your open behavior.
It is likely that the other person will be receptive to you, and you will feel comfortable opening up more. But even if you don’t get the reaction you wanted, you still overcame your fear and found the courage to be vulnerable.
If you appreciated their response the first time, thank them for being receptive to you. If their response was hurtful, share those feelings with them so they're aware of how their reaction affected you.
Verbally expressing emotions helps you overcome them more quickly, so whatever the outcome, you've still done something good for yourself. Be proud of the steps you’ve taken to be more authentic, and repeat the behavior in this and other relationships.
Take note of how the interaction went, and see if your fear was justified based on the experience. Often, your fear will be greater than the experience, itself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Defeating Your Fear\\n1-1. Make a list of reasons you're afraid to be vulnerable.\\nThink through some of the reasons you’re afraid to show your true self in a relationship. Ask yourself what you fear most from being open with someone. You may be trying to avoid getting hurt or trying to avoid hurting the other person in the relationship. Your ego may be preventing you from revealing what you see as weaknesses. Maybe you've had bad experiences opening up to others in the past. Be as honest as possible with yourself as you analyze your fears.\\nIt may help to write it down on a piece of paper so that you can more clearly visualize your reasoning.\\n1-2. Focus on the positives.\\nThere's a lot to gain from being vulnerable with someone, like a deeper sense of connection, more trust, and greater contentment. Focusing on these outcomes will help you get past whatever fears you may have. Find activities that help you stay positive, whether it be exercise, meditation, or journaling.\\n1-3. Talk to someone who truly cares about you.\\nSeek out a friend or family member who you feel most comfortable opening up to. Share with them the concerns you have about being vulnerable with others. They may be able to provide a perspective you haven't seen before. This can also serve as a rehearsal for being more open with someone else.\\n1-4. Seek professional help.\\nIf you’re struggling to deal with opening up on your own, don’t be afraid to talk to a licensed therapist. They can help you work through your issues, either by simply listening or by giving you advice. Share the list you made about why you're afraid to be vulnerable or any past experiences that led you to feel this way.\\n2. Opening up to Someone\\n2-1. Start gradually.\\nPick one thing you want to share with the other person in the relationship and start there. Don't try to share every worry and fear you have at once. This will overwhelm both you and the other person.\\nTry starting with something small, like sharing a worry you have about your career or a concern you have for a family member. Or show the person a hobby you've been working on that not many people know about.\\nFor some, it is easiest to start sharing with someone who has shared personal or intimate details with you already. That way, there is more balance in the dynamic.\\n2-2. Set boundaries for conversations.\\nStart difficult conversations by stating what you want from the other person. Ask them to simply listen if you just want to vent frustrations. Be clear about whether you want advice. This can help you feel more in control if you’re anxious about what you’re going to share.\\nTry starting with, \\\"I'd really like to get all this out before you say anything.\\\" Or ask, \\\"Can I just vent right now?\\\"\\n2-3. Admit your fear of vulnerability.\\nBe honest with the other person in the relationship about your concerns. Talk about any past experiences that have led you to want to hide your feelings. This will allow them to understand why you may hesitate to share your feelings. And they will know that you're trying to improve your communication.\\nAfter admitting your difficulties, try using a phrase like, \\\"I'm working on it.\\\" Request that they point out instances in the future where you could open up more.\\n2-4. Reveal a mistake you've made.\\nTell the other person something you did wrong or are ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes, and it's likely the other person will be able to relate to it. People are drawn to others who are authentic and down-to-earth, so don't try to hide your imperfections.\\nIf you're ready for it, you can reveal something big, like a mistake that ended a past relationship. But even something small can help. Keep a mental log of interactions during the day that could have gone better. Maybe you were rude to a stranger and regret not being more kind. Revealing this shows the other person that you're reflective and conscientious.\\n2-5. Admit if you don't understand something.\\nEveryone wants to appear knowledgeable, but pretending like you know everything comes across as arrogant. Ask the other person to explain something to you if you don't get it. This will earn their respect and boost their confidence while also showing that you trust them.\\nYou could ask them to explain a complex political issue or something they do at work that you don't understand. Or request that they teach you a new skill, like cooking or playing a sport.\\nDon't be afraid to request feedback and opinions on interactions with others. This can help clarify points that you don't understand, and give you specific areas to focus on next time.\\n2-6. Share your feelings while they're happening.\\nBottling your emotions can lead to anger and frustration. But admitting that something is bothering you can help you address the problem immediately, and the other person will see your attempt at honesty.\\nYou don't always have to speak your emotions. You can write them down or express them through music as a way of communicating them to the other person.\\n2-7. Reinforce your open behavior.\\nIt is likely that the other person will be receptive to you, and you will feel comfortable opening up more. But even if you don’t get the reaction you wanted, you still overcame your fear and found the courage to be vulnerable.\\nIf you appreciated their response the first time, thank them for being receptive to you. If their response was hurtful, share those feelings with them so they're aware of how their reaction affected you.\\nVerbally expressing emotions helps you overcome them more quickly, so whatever the outcome, you've still done something good for yourself. Be proud of the steps you’ve taken to be more authentic, and repeat the behavior in this and other relationships.\\nTake note of how the interaction went, and see if your fear was justified based on the experience. Often, your fear will be greater than the experience, itself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many people struggle to be vulnerable in relationships because it means opening themselves up to rejection or ridicule. But not allowing yourself to be vulnerable with friends and loved ones can lead to you missing out on deep personal connections. Through a process of defeating your fears and opening up to others, you can learn to be vulnerable and achieve more contentment in your relationships.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Defeating Your Fear\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of reasons you're afraid to be vulnerable.\", \"描述\": \"Think through some of the reasons you’re afraid to show your true self in a relationship. Ask yourself what you fear most from being open with someone. You may be trying to avoid getting hurt or trying to avoid hurting the other person in the relationship. Your ego may be preventing you from revealing what you see as weaknesses. Maybe you've had bad experiences opening up to others in the past. Be as honest as possible with yourself as you analyze your fears.\\nIt may help to write it down on a piece of paper so that you can more clearly visualize your reasoning.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positives.\", \"描述\": \"There's a lot to gain from being vulnerable with someone, like a deeper sense of connection, more trust, and greater contentment. Focusing on these outcomes will help you get past whatever fears you may have. Find activities that help you stay positive, whether it be exercise, meditation, or journaling.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone who truly cares about you.\", \"描述\": \"Seek out a friend or family member who you feel most comfortable opening up to. Share with them the concerns you have about being vulnerable with others. They may be able to provide a perspective you haven't seen before. This can also serve as a rehearsal for being more open with someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Seek professional help.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re struggling to deal with opening up on your own, don’t be afraid to talk to a licensed therapist. They can help you work through your issues, either by simply listening or by giving you advice. Share the list you made about why you're afraid to be vulnerable or any past experiences that led you to feel this way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Opening up to Someone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start gradually.\", \"描述\": \"Pick one thing you want to share with the other person in the relationship and start there. Don't try to share every worry and fear you have at once. This will overwhelm both you and the other person.\\nTry starting with something small, like sharing a worry you have about your career or a concern you have for a family member. Or show the person a hobby you've been working on that not many people know about.\\nFor some, it is easiest to start sharing with someone who has shared personal or intimate details with you already. That way, there is more balance in the dynamic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries for conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Start difficult conversations by stating what you want from the other person. Ask them to simply listen if you just want to vent frustrations. Be clear about whether you want advice. This can help you feel more in control if you’re anxious about what you’re going to share.\\nTry starting with, \\\"I'd really like to get all this out before you say anything.\\\" Or ask, \\\"Can I just vent right now?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Admit your fear of vulnerability.\", \"描述\": \"Be honest with the other person in the relationship about your concerns. Talk about any past experiences that have led you to want to hide your feelings. This will allow them to understand why you may hesitate to share your feelings. And they will know that you're trying to improve your communication.\\nAfter admitting your difficulties, try using a phrase like, \\\"I'm working on it.\\\" Request that they point out instances in the future where you could open up more.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reveal a mistake you've made.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the other person something you did wrong or are ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes, and it's likely the other person will be able to relate to it. People are drawn to others who are authentic and down-to-earth, so don't try to hide your imperfections.\\nIf you're ready for it, you can reveal something big, like a mistake that ended a past relationship. But even something small can help. Keep a mental log of interactions during the day that could have gone better. Maybe you were rude to a stranger and regret not being more kind. Revealing this shows the other person that you're reflective and conscientious.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Admit if you don't understand something.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone wants to appear knowledgeable, but pretending like you know everything comes across as arrogant. Ask the other person to explain something to you if you don't get it. This will earn their respect and boost their confidence while also showing that you trust them.\\nYou could ask them to explain a complex political issue or something they do at work that you don't understand. Or request that they teach you a new skill, like cooking or playing a sport.\\nDon't be afraid to request feedback and opinions on interactions with others. This can help clarify points that you don't understand, and give you specific areas to focus on next time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Share your feelings while they're happening.\", \"描述\": \"Bottling your emotions can lead to anger and frustration. But admitting that something is bothering you can help you address the problem immediately, and the other person will see your attempt at honesty.\\nYou don't always have to speak your emotions. You can write them down or express them through music as a way of communicating them to the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Reinforce your open behavior.\", \"描述\": \"It is likely that the other person will be receptive to you, and you will feel comfortable opening up more. But even if you don’t get the reaction you wanted, you still overcame your fear and found the courage to be vulnerable.\\nIf you appreciated their response the first time, thank them for being receptive to you. If their response was hurtful, share those feelings with them so they're aware of how their reaction affected you.\\nVerbally expressing emotions helps you overcome them more quickly, so whatever the outcome, you've still done something good for yourself. Be proud of the steps you’ve taken to be more authentic, and repeat the behavior in this and other relationships.\\nTake note of how the interaction went, and see if your fear was justified based on the experience. Often, your fear will be greater than the experience, itself.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,964 | How to Be Motivated at Work | 1. Making Your Work Meaningful
1-1. Assess your role and the role you hope to fill at work.
What do you actually do? Sometimes, getting a fresh sense of your job can help you to forget the day-to-day annoyances which threaten to sap your motivation, and helps you concentrate on actually doing the job. Are there jobs you feel like you could do well? Are there projects that you want to tackle? Think about why you are working and why you are well-suited for the job.
Where do you see yourself working in 1-2 years? How is your current job helping you reach that goal?
1-2. Find or create tasks that utilize your skills.
If your job doesn't quite suit you passion or skill set, find a way make it fit. For example, if you love to write you might offer to draft the company newsletter, or offer suggestions to your boss about ways to improve the copy on your website. Input a bit of your own personality in your work and you'll find that the motivation takes care of itself.
1-3. Keep track of your tasks and chores, and mark them when finished.
One quick way to stay motivated at work is to look at what you have completed. Ticking off the to-do list is a good way to show you how much you have done in a day. It is also a great way to keep track of overall goals and show yourself how small, seemingly unimportant tasks come together to complete a larger project.
1-4. Set goals and celebrate milestones.
Working isn't always fun. But the best way to stay motivated when doing tedious or tough tasks is to remember the end-goal. The best goals are personal ones that mean a lot to you, making it much easier to motivate yourself.
After you complete a milestone, like finishing the first chapter of a manuscript or completing expense reports on time, reward yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments and they will become much more meaningful.
Your goals don't have to be related to your current job. You could be saving up to go back to school or working your way up the company ladder to a better job, too.
1-5. Focus on the reasons to work, not the reasons not to.
Negative thoughts have a way of festering, growing, and getting worse the more you think and talk about them. Instead of always venting about a terrible boss, difficult tasks, and annoying coworkers, think about the things you do enjoy. Make a list of the positives in your work and try to think about them every time you hear yourself complaining or thinking about the negatives.
1-6. Organize and schedule your work.
Don't force yourself to re-motivate for work every morning. Instead, make your work a matter of habit -- something you do and get done in a set amount of time. Having your work scheduled out and sticking to that schedule teaches your body and mind to turn on "work mode" when you need to work, getting you to your desk and completing tasks much faster.
Organizing your desk and tidying up your workspace is a great way to make work more manageable. An organized workspace is key to an organized headspace.
1-7. Stay away from the clock.
Time will only seem to move slower if you're checking the clock every 5 minutes. Instead of counting down the amount of time you have left in the day, use your checklist to see how many tasks you have left and how many you can cross of. Make yourself goal oriented, not time oriented, to find more motivation.
1-8. Seek out work that you feel motivated to do.
If there is nothing holding you to your old job, and you can't find any motivation in what you're doing, then it is time to start looking elsewhere. Work you enjoy or find meaningful will motivate you by itself. If you can't find the will to keep working your job for weeks on end, and you have no long-term prospects that might improve things, then you should consider moving on to a new position.
2. Enjoying Work
2-1. Make yourself happy and positive to make motivation easier.
If you can make your work enjoyable the motivation will come all by itself. This starts with finding work and tasks that you enjoy, but it doesn't end there. Spending some time by yourself and taking occasional breaks while you work is a great way to ensure that you are happy and motivated for anything.
2-2. Spice up your routine every now and then.
Go out and splurge on lunch. Get someone to make you a playlist or suggest a new band to listen to while working. Try out a new shirt or tie, something bright and a bit weird. Take control of your work life and inject it with a bit of spontaneity. This burst of personality will help you feel more personally invested in your work.
2-3. Take breaks once every 1-3 hours.
It doesn't have to be longer than 5-10 minutes, but these brakes will give you time to recharge you brain, move around a bit, and cut your day into more manageable chunks. You could:
Head to the break room and chat with a coworker.
Go for a brief walk to get coffee, or simple exercise a bit at your desk.
Read 1-2 articles about something you enjoy.
2-4. Take care of your body.
A lot of problems with motivation are not because you hate your job or coworkers, but simply because you body isn't running as effectively as it could be. Feeling tired, out of energy, and down is a sure-fire way to end up unmotivated, but it can be easily avoided as well.
Make sure you get 6-8 hours of sleep each night.
Bring a water bottle with you and hydrate throughout the day.
Exercise for at least 30 minutes 4-6 days a week.
2-5. Personalize your workspace.
There are lots of ways to do this, of course, but all of them aim to make your work an extension of you, not something you're forced to do. Bring in photographs, toys, and knickknacks that make your desk an enjoyable place to be. Take some time to get your desk in order, and make things just how you like them, so that you don't loath sitting down at your desk each morning.
2-6. Get to know your coworkers.
Having a support system in place at your work will help everyone stay motivated. Take some time to chat to your coworkers to build a sense of camaraderie and teamwork. If you notice someone doing a great job, let them know. If someone seems down, ask them what's up. You'll start hearing similar comments back at yourself, and this sense of community is a great way to keep everyone working together on common goals.
Warnings
Don't be tempted to do anything silly to entertain yourself. Pranks and mischief could seriously impair your job security and the regard of your colleagues and bosses.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Your Work Meaningful\\n1-1. Assess your role and the role you hope to fill at work.\\nWhat do you actually do? Sometimes, getting a fresh sense of your job can help you to forget the day-to-day annoyances which threaten to sap your motivation, and helps you concentrate on actually doing the job. Are there jobs you feel like you could do well? Are there projects that you want to tackle? Think about why you are working and why you are well-suited for the job.\\nWhere do you see yourself working in 1-2 years? How is your current job helping you reach that goal?\\n1-2. Find or create tasks that utilize your skills.\\nIf your job doesn't quite suit you passion or skill set, find a way make it fit. For example, if you love to write you might offer to draft the company newsletter, or offer suggestions to your boss about ways to improve the copy on your website. Input a bit of your own personality in your work and you'll find that the motivation takes care of itself.\\n1-3. Keep track of your tasks and chores, and mark them when finished.\\nOne quick way to stay motivated at work is to look at what you have completed. Ticking off the to-do list is a good way to show you how much you have done in a day. It is also a great way to keep track of overall goals and show yourself how small, seemingly unimportant tasks come together to complete a larger project.\\n1-4. Set goals and celebrate milestones.\\nWorking isn't always fun. But the best way to stay motivated when doing tedious or tough tasks is to remember the end-goal. The best goals are personal ones that mean a lot to you, making it much easier to motivate yourself.\\nAfter you complete a milestone, like finishing the first chapter of a manuscript or completing expense reports on time, reward yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments and they will become much more meaningful.\\nYour goals don't have to be related to your current job. You could be saving up to go back to school or working your way up the company ladder to a better job, too.\\n1-5. Focus on the reasons to work, not the reasons not to.\\nNegative thoughts have a way of festering, growing, and getting worse the more you think and talk about them. Instead of always venting about a terrible boss, difficult tasks, and annoying coworkers, think about the things you do enjoy. Make a list of the positives in your work and try to think about them every time you hear yourself complaining or thinking about the negatives.\\n1-6. Organize and schedule your work.\\nDon't force yourself to re-motivate for work every morning. Instead, make your work a matter of habit -- something you do and get done in a set amount of time. Having your work scheduled out and sticking to that schedule teaches your body and mind to turn on \\\"work mode\\\" when you need to work, getting you to your desk and completing tasks much faster.\\nOrganizing your desk and tidying up your workspace is a great way to make work more manageable. An organized workspace is key to an organized headspace.\\n1-7. Stay away from the clock.\\nTime will only seem to move slower if you're checking the clock every 5 minutes. Instead of counting down the amount of time you have left in the day, use your checklist to see how many tasks you have left and how many you can cross of. Make yourself goal oriented, not time oriented, to find more motivation.\\n1-8. Seek out work that you feel motivated to do.\\nIf there is nothing holding you to your old job, and you can't find any motivation in what you're doing, then it is time to start looking elsewhere. Work you enjoy or find meaningful will motivate you by itself. If you can't find the will to keep working your job for weeks on end, and you have no long-term prospects that might improve things, then you should consider moving on to a new position.\\n2. Enjoying Work\\n2-1. Make yourself happy and positive to make motivation easier.\\nIf you can make your work enjoyable the motivation will come all by itself. This starts with finding work and tasks that you enjoy, but it doesn't end there. Spending some time by yourself and taking occasional breaks while you work is a great way to ensure that you are happy and motivated for anything.\\n2-2. Spice up your routine every now and then.\\nGo out and splurge on lunch. Get someone to make you a playlist or suggest a new band to listen to while working. Try out a new shirt or tie, something bright and a bit weird. Take control of your work life and inject it with a bit of spontaneity. This burst of personality will help you feel more personally invested in your work.\\n2-3. Take breaks once every 1-3 hours.\\nIt doesn't have to be longer than 5-10 minutes, but these brakes will give you time to recharge you brain, move around a bit, and cut your day into more manageable chunks. You could:\\nHead to the break room and chat with a coworker.\\nGo for a brief walk to get coffee, or simple exercise a bit at your desk.\\nRead 1-2 articles about something you enjoy.\\n2-4. Take care of your body.\\nA lot of problems with motivation are not because you hate your job or coworkers, but simply because you body isn't running as effectively as it could be. Feeling tired, out of energy, and down is a sure-fire way to end up unmotivated, but it can be easily avoided as well.\\nMake sure you get 6-8 hours of sleep each night.\\nBring a water bottle with you and hydrate throughout the day.\\nExercise for at least 30 minutes 4-6 days a week.\\n2-5. Personalize your workspace.\\nThere are lots of ways to do this, of course, but all of them aim to make your work an extension of you, not something you're forced to do. Bring in photographs, toys, and knickknacks that make your desk an enjoyable place to be. Take some time to get your desk in order, and make things just how you like them, so that you don't loath sitting down at your desk each morning.\\n2-6. Get to know your coworkers.\\nHaving a support system in place at your work will help everyone stay motivated. Take some time to chat to your coworkers to build a sense of camaraderie and teamwork. If you notice someone doing a great job, let them know. If someone seems down, ask them what's up. You'll start hearing similar comments back at yourself, and this sense of community is a great way to keep everyone working together on common goals.\\nWarnings\\nDon't be tempted to do anything silly to entertain yourself. Pranks and mischief could seriously impair your job security and the regard of your colleagues and bosses.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Working the same job every day may make it difficult feel motivated ever morning, but this is perfectly normal from time to time. Motivation is something that many people struggle with at some point in their careers. However, with some soul-searching and initiative, you should be back to enjoying work in no time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Your Work Meaningful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess your role and the role you hope to fill at work.\", \"描述\": \"What do you actually do? Sometimes, getting a fresh sense of your job can help you to forget the day-to-day annoyances which threaten to sap your motivation, and helps you concentrate on actually doing the job. Are there jobs you feel like you could do well? Are there projects that you want to tackle? Think about why you are working and why you are well-suited for the job.\\nWhere do you see yourself working in 1-2 years? How is your current job helping you reach that goal?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find or create tasks that utilize your skills.\", \"描述\": \"If your job doesn't quite suit you passion or skill set, find a way make it fit. For example, if you love to write you might offer to draft the company newsletter, or offer suggestions to your boss about ways to improve the copy on your website. Input a bit of your own personality in your work and you'll find that the motivation takes care of itself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep track of your tasks and chores, and mark them when finished.\", \"描述\": \"One quick way to stay motivated at work is to look at what you have completed. Ticking off the to-do list is a good way to show you how much you have done in a day. It is also a great way to keep track of overall goals and show yourself how small, seemingly unimportant tasks come together to complete a larger project.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set goals and celebrate milestones.\", \"描述\": \"Working isn't always fun. But the best way to stay motivated when doing tedious or tough tasks is to remember the end-goal. The best goals are personal ones that mean a lot to you, making it much easier to motivate yourself.\\nAfter you complete a milestone, like finishing the first chapter of a manuscript or completing expense reports on time, reward yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments and they will become much more meaningful.\\nYour goals don't have to be related to your current job. You could be saving up to go back to school or working your way up the company ladder to a better job, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on the reasons to work, not the reasons not to.\", \"描述\": \"Negative thoughts have a way of festering, growing, and getting worse the more you think and talk about them. Instead of always venting about a terrible boss, difficult tasks, and annoying coworkers, think about the things you do enjoy. Make a list of the positives in your work and try to think about them every time you hear yourself complaining or thinking about the negatives.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Organize and schedule your work.\", \"描述\": \"Don't force yourself to re-motivate for work every morning. Instead, make your work a matter of habit -- something you do and get done in a set amount of time. Having your work scheduled out and sticking to that schedule teaches your body and mind to turn on \\\"work mode\\\" when you need to work, getting you to your desk and completing tasks much faster.\\nOrganizing your desk and tidying up your workspace is a great way to make work more manageable. An organized workspace is key to an organized headspace.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay away from the clock.\", \"描述\": \"Time will only seem to move slower if you're checking the clock every 5 minutes. Instead of counting down the amount of time you have left in the day, use your checklist to see how many tasks you have left and how many you can cross of. Make yourself goal oriented, not time oriented, to find more motivation.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Seek out work that you feel motivated to do.\", \"描述\": \"If there is nothing holding you to your old job, and you can't find any motivation in what you're doing, then it is time to start looking elsewhere. Work you enjoy or find meaningful will motivate you by itself. If you can't find the will to keep working your job for weeks on end, and you have no long-term prospects that might improve things, then you should consider moving on to a new position.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoying Work\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make yourself happy and positive to make motivation easier.\", \"描述\": \"If you can make your work enjoyable the motivation will come all by itself. This starts with finding work and tasks that you enjoy, but it doesn't end there. Spending some time by yourself and taking occasional breaks while you work is a great way to ensure that you are happy and motivated for anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spice up your routine every now and then.\", \"描述\": \"Go out and splurge on lunch. Get someone to make you a playlist or suggest a new band to listen to while working. Try out a new shirt or tie, something bright and a bit weird. Take control of your work life and inject it with a bit of spontaneity. This burst of personality will help you feel more personally invested in your work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take breaks once every 1-3 hours.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't have to be longer than 5-10 minutes, but these brakes will give you time to recharge you brain, move around a bit, and cut your day into more manageable chunks. You could:\\nHead to the break room and chat with a coworker.\\nGo for a brief walk to get coffee, or simple exercise a bit at your desk.\\nRead 1-2 articles about something you enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take care of your body.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of problems with motivation are not because you hate your job or coworkers, but simply because you body isn't running as effectively as it could be. Feeling tired, out of energy, and down is a sure-fire way to end up unmotivated, but it can be easily avoided as well.\\nMake sure you get 6-8 hours of sleep each night.\\nBring a water bottle with you and hydrate throughout the day.\\nExercise for at least 30 minutes 4-6 days a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Personalize your workspace.\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of ways to do this, of course, but all of them aim to make your work an extension of you, not something you're forced to do. Bring in photographs, toys, and knickknacks that make your desk an enjoyable place to be. Take some time to get your desk in order, and make things just how you like them, so that you don't loath sitting down at your desk each morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get to know your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Having a support system in place at your work will help everyone stay motivated. Take some time to chat to your coworkers to build a sense of camaraderie and teamwork. If you notice someone doing a great job, let them know. If someone seems down, ask them what's up. You'll start hearing similar comments back at yourself, and this sense of community is a great way to keep everyone working together on common goals.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't be tempted to do anything silly to entertain yourself. Pranks and mischief could seriously impair your job security and the regard of your colleagues and bosses.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,965 | How to Be Motivated in the Morning | 1. Developing Healthy Eating and Sleeping Habits the Night Before
1-1. Prepare your breakfast and lunch the night before.
With getting yourself ready, caring for pets and kids or juggling before-work chores, you're packing in a lot of activities in the morning. Lighten the load by preparing breakfast and lunch the evening before. When all you have to do is grab your meal and go, you're less likely to skip breakfast because you're in a rush and you'll avoid grabbing unhealthy fast food for lunch.
Keep your energy levels high. The energy you got from eating dinner the night before is depleted by morning. Eating a high-fiber breakfast stabilizes your blood sugar, which helps you feel energized and more focused. You need energy for maximum motivation in the morning and all day long. Avoid refined carbohydrates such as doughnuts because they create a blood sugar spike and then a crash.
Keep your breakfast simple and nutritious. Boil eggs and refrigerate so they're handy for busy mornings. Enjoy a hard-boiled egg with an English muffin and a banana for a balanced breakfast. Another option is to cook oatmeal overnight in a crockpot. Enjoy hot oatmeal and fruit in the morning and refrigerate leftovers for a quick breakfast the rest of the week.
Pack a balanced lunch. Use a wide-mouthed mason jar to make a high-protein salad. Place salad dressing at the bottom of the jar. Next, layer veggies such as cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, carrots and chickpeas. Add lean protein such as grilled chicken. Finally add leafy greens on the top, close the lid and refrigerate. The salad will stay fresh overnight since the greens are separated from the dressing. When you're ready for lunch, simply shake the jar to spread the dressing and then pour into a bowl.
1-2. Eat a healthy dinner.
Your body uses food from dinner as fuel while you sleep. You'll wake up with more energy and motivation when you power your body with the right foods the night before. Eat lean protein such as grilled chicken, fish or beans. Add vegetables and complex carbohydrates such as brown rice or quinoa.
Your body uses a lot of energy to digest food. Eating a heavy meal near bedtime makes it harder to fall asleep. Eat two or three hours before bedtime. This gives your body time to finish digestion before you hit the sack. Avoid sugary or greasy foods since they can lead to a blood sugar spike or heartburn. Both make it harder to fall asleep.
1-3. Shut off electronics before bedtime.
Tablets, smartphones, computers and TVs all activate your brain. You're in thinking mode instead of relaxation mode. An activated brain makes it difficult to fall asleep. Once your sleep is disrupted, you'll have a hard time getting motivated in the morning. Turn off all electronic devices at least one hour before bedtime.
The artificial light from electronic devices disrupts your circadian rhythm. It suppresses the sleep-hormone melatonin, which causes you to stay awake longer. Disrupted sleep means you're sluggish and irritable in the morning.
1-4. Avoid caffeine before bedtime.
Caffeine makes you feel alert for several hours. You'll take longer to fall asleep and have restless sleep when you consume caffeine at night. You'll wake up feeling groggy instead of energized. Avoid caffeinated beverages such as coffee, tea or soda for at least four hours before bedtime.
Drink non-caffeinated beverages instead such as caffeine-free tea or warm milk. These have a soothing effect. You'll having an easier time falling and staying asleep.
1-5. Skip alcohol near bedtime.
Having a nightcap before bed isn't as relaxing as it seems. Alcohol is a depressant so it causes you to feel sleepy at first. As the alcohol wears off, it has a stimulating effect. You'll wake up and have a hard time going back to sleep. Alcohol also disrupts your sleep cycles, so you won't get the type of sleep that you need to feel rested.
Limit alcohol to one or two drinks a day. Have your last drink at least two hours before bed.
1-6. Create a bedtime routine
Bedtime routines are not just for children. Train your mind and body to fall asleep and stay asleep. A good night's rest is crucial to starting your morning feeling energized and focused.
Read an old-fashioned book or magazine. You'll fatigue your brain and fall asleep more easily when you read. Avoid reading from an electronic device because the light from the device can keep you awake. Plus, you'll be tempted to check your messages or apps.
Relax your muscles. Taking a warm bath or doing gentle stretching are some ways you can release tension from your body. Your muscles are tight from your busy day. A bath or stretching helps you unwind and more easily fall asleep.
Aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night. This amount allows you to move through all the cycles of sleep. There are four phases of sleep that repeat approximately every 90 minutes. If you sleep for less than seven hours, you cannot cycle through all the phases.
Recognize that sleep is important to your overall health. Sleep deprivation leads to memory loss, lack of concentration and fatigue. Consistently sleeping well boosts your immune system and helps you control your weight. A good night's rest improves your energy, motivation and overall wellbeing.
2. Taking Charge of Your Morning
2-1. Avoid hitting snooze.
When you're warm and cozy in bed and your alarm goes off, your first instinct is to hit snooze. When you snooze your alarm and drift back to sleep, you're resetting your sleep cycle. The next time your alarm sounds, you'll be groggier because you're interrupting a new sleep cycle. This is called "sleep inertia." Get into the habit of waking up the first time your alarm sounds. You'll be more alert and motivated to get going with your day.
Keep your curtains partially open. When light fills your bedroom in the morning, waking up is easier. Light in the morning tells your body to naturally awaken. It will help you get into a lighter stage of sleep, so when your alarm sounds, it's easier to get out of bed.
Set your alarm for 10 or 15 minutes earlier. You can ease into your morning more calmly as opposed to rushing around. Sit up slowly in bed and do some stretches.
Make an effort to go to bed around the same time each night, even on weekends or days off. Consistency is key to healthy sleep patterns. Your circadian rhythm stays in sync when you have the same bedtime routine each night.
2-2. Simplify getting dressed.
Have two or three ready-to-go outfits in your closet. For example, have your shirt, pants, and belt on one hanger, with matching shoes below. This takes the guesswork out of choosing an outfit for the morning.
Sleep in your workout clothes. If you want to work out first thing in the morning, you'll have one less thing to do if you're already dressed to hit the gym.
2-3. Rehydrate your body.
You're dehydrated when you wake up since you've fasted all night during sleep. Drink a glass of water or a small cup of juice with your breakfast. This wakes up the cells in your brain. It's an instant way to feel more alert and motivated.
Drink caffeine moderately. A cup or two of coffee or tea helps you feel more alert. Avoid caffeine overload. Any more than three cups may make you feel jittery and distracted. It can actually decrease motivation because you're unable to focus.
2-4. Get physically active in the morning.
Not everyone benefits from a full workout first thing in the morning. If fitting in a workout means you'll cut into your seven to nine hours of sleep, then working out later in the day may be better for you. However, doing brief amounts physical activity in the morning will help you feel more awake and energized.
Move around to music while you're getting ready for the day. Listen to music and dance while brushing your teeth or making your coffee. Even two or three minutes of movement goes a long way.
Take a brisk walk outside for five minutes. A quick walk gets your blood pumping and activates your brain. You'll be more motivated to start your day.
2-5. Place a white board and basket by your door.
Keep things organized so you remember all your essentials such grabbing your keys and feeding your dog. List the things you need to do before you leave the house in the morning on a dry erase board. Also keep a basket by the door and place the things you'll need for your day.
Put your keys, transportation passes, wallet, handbag, sunglasses and backpack in the basket. In the morning, you'll know exactly where all of your essential items are so you can grab and go.
Write a checklist of things you must do before you leave the house on the white board. Scan the board each morning so you can leave the house knowing you've remembered everything. For example, list “feed cat, grab lunch, take coffee.”
3. Building Your Motivation in Your Life
3-1. Build optimism.
Having a positive outlook helps your motivation. You see desires and goals as attainable when you have an optimistic, can-do attitude. Lack of optimism may lead to procrastination, or putting off things you want to or need to do. You avoid doing something that is good for you because it seems too hard. Build your optimism by journaling. You can train yourself to take action in the morning and all day.
Think about something you've been putting off doing, like going back to school.
Make two columns in a journal. In the first column, write down the challenges you feel are keeping you from achieving your dream (in this case, going back to school). For example, “I don't have money to go back to school. I don't have the time.”
In the second column, write down how the goal benefits you. What would your life be like immediately after, a year after and five years after you achieve it? For example, “I have the qualifications for my dream job. I can earn more money. I can buy a house.” Recognize the feelings of joy and pride that come with these accomplishments.
Build on your feelings of joy and pride. Take one small step toward your goal. For example, you might research college programs, or contact schools to find out about financial aid.
Write in your journal each week, noting your accomplishments as well as your challenges. Make notes on how you can overcome the difficulties you faced from the week before. You can keep your motivation high by acknowledging your progress and using problem-solving for the difficulties.
3-2. Reward yourself for reaching your goals.
Incentives help with motivation. Just like when you reward a pet with a treat for doing something good, you need to reward yourself. Set rewards for each small goal you reach. For example, play a 10-minute game on your tablet if you get your chores done.
Monetary rewards are often the most motivating. For example, if your goal is to walk for 20 minutes each day with your friend, give your friend $20. When you show up and complete your walk, your friend gives you your money back. If you don't show up, they keep your money. You'll find that you're highly motivated to walk every day.
3-3. Create boundaries.
When you're stretched in many directions, you'll have little time to reach your own goals. Having too many obligations saps your motivation. Say “no” to unnecessary commitments. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will. Only take on obligations that are essential and say “no” to the rest.
Avoid agreeing to commitments because you feel guilty. If you agree to do something simply to spare another person's feelings, you'll end up feeling resentful and bitter.
Make a list of your priorities. Focus on what's important to you and how you want to spend your time. If something falls outside of your priorities, politely decline.
Be brief yet firm. You don't need to give someone a lengthy explanation. Be succinct, honest and polite. Simply say, “No, I can't organize the fundraiser this year. Thanks for thinking of me. Good luck with your event.”
3-4. Surround yourself with motivating people.
When you surround yourself with positive and driven people, you're more likely to be motivated and stick to your goals. You'll hold each other accountable. Positivity is infectious. When those around you are optimistic and motivated, your own positivity will grow.
Connect with a mentor. For example, maybe you want to go back to school, but no one around you seems to support you. Contact a school and ask to get connected with a student who successfully completed the program. Talk to them about their tips for success.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Developing Healthy Eating and Sleeping Habits the Night Before\\n1-1. Prepare your breakfast and lunch the night before.\\nWith getting yourself ready, caring for pets and kids or juggling before-work chores, you're packing in a lot of activities in the morning. Lighten the load by preparing breakfast and lunch the evening before. When all you have to do is grab your meal and go, you're less likely to skip breakfast because you're in a rush and you'll avoid grabbing unhealthy fast food for lunch.\\nKeep your energy levels high. The energy you got from eating dinner the night before is depleted by morning. Eating a high-fiber breakfast stabilizes your blood sugar, which helps you feel energized and more focused. You need energy for maximum motivation in the morning and all day long. Avoid refined carbohydrates such as doughnuts because they create a blood sugar spike and then a crash.\\nKeep your breakfast simple and nutritious. Boil eggs and refrigerate so they're handy for busy mornings. Enjoy a hard-boiled egg with an English muffin and a banana for a balanced breakfast. Another option is to cook oatmeal overnight in a crockpot. Enjoy hot oatmeal and fruit in the morning and refrigerate leftovers for a quick breakfast the rest of the week.\\nPack a balanced lunch. Use a wide-mouthed mason jar to make a high-protein salad. Place salad dressing at the bottom of the jar. Next, layer veggies such as cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, carrots and chickpeas. Add lean protein such as grilled chicken. Finally add leafy greens on the top, close the lid and refrigerate. The salad will stay fresh overnight since the greens are separated from the dressing. When you're ready for lunch, simply shake the jar to spread the dressing and then pour into a bowl.\\n1-2. Eat a healthy dinner.\\nYour body uses food from dinner as fuel while you sleep. You'll wake up with more energy and motivation when you power your body with the right foods the night before. Eat lean protein such as grilled chicken, fish or beans. Add vegetables and complex carbohydrates such as brown rice or quinoa.\\nYour body uses a lot of energy to digest food. Eating a heavy meal near bedtime makes it harder to fall asleep. Eat two or three hours before bedtime. This gives your body time to finish digestion before you hit the sack. Avoid sugary or greasy foods since they can lead to a blood sugar spike or heartburn. Both make it harder to fall asleep.\\n1-3. Shut off electronics before bedtime.\\nTablets, smartphones, computers and TVs all activate your brain. You're in thinking mode instead of relaxation mode. An activated brain makes it difficult to fall asleep. Once your sleep is disrupted, you'll have a hard time getting motivated in the morning. Turn off all electronic devices at least one hour before bedtime.\\nThe artificial light from electronic devices disrupts your circadian rhythm. It suppresses the sleep-hormone melatonin, which causes you to stay awake longer. Disrupted sleep means you're sluggish and irritable in the morning.\\n1-4. Avoid caffeine before bedtime.\\nCaffeine makes you feel alert for several hours. You'll take longer to fall asleep and have restless sleep when you consume caffeine at night. You'll wake up feeling groggy instead of energized. Avoid caffeinated beverages such as coffee, tea or soda for at least four hours before bedtime.\\nDrink non-caffeinated beverages instead such as caffeine-free tea or warm milk. These have a soothing effect. You'll having an easier time falling and staying asleep.\\n1-5. Skip alcohol near bedtime.\\nHaving a nightcap before bed isn't as relaxing as it seems. Alcohol is a depressant so it causes you to feel sleepy at first. As the alcohol wears off, it has a stimulating effect. You'll wake up and have a hard time going back to sleep. Alcohol also disrupts your sleep cycles, so you won't get the type of sleep that you need to feel rested.\\nLimit alcohol to one or two drinks a day. Have your last drink at least two hours before bed.\\n1-6. Create a bedtime routine\\nBedtime routines are not just for children. Train your mind and body to fall asleep and stay asleep. A good night's rest is crucial to starting your morning feeling energized and focused.\\nRead an old-fashioned book or magazine. You'll fatigue your brain and fall asleep more easily when you read. Avoid reading from an electronic device because the light from the device can keep you awake. Plus, you'll be tempted to check your messages or apps.\\nRelax your muscles. Taking a warm bath or doing gentle stretching are some ways you can release tension from your body. Your muscles are tight from your busy day. A bath or stretching helps you unwind and more easily fall asleep.\\nAim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night. This amount allows you to move through all the cycles of sleep. There are four phases of sleep that repeat approximately every 90 minutes. If you sleep for less than seven hours, you cannot cycle through all the phases.\\nRecognize that sleep is important to your overall health. Sleep deprivation leads to memory loss, lack of concentration and fatigue. Consistently sleeping well boosts your immune system and helps you control your weight. A good night's rest improves your energy, motivation and overall wellbeing.\\n2. Taking Charge of Your Morning\\n2-1. Avoid hitting snooze.\\nWhen you're warm and cozy in bed and your alarm goes off, your first instinct is to hit snooze. When you snooze your alarm and drift back to sleep, you're resetting your sleep cycle. The next time your alarm sounds, you'll be groggier because you're interrupting a new sleep cycle. This is called \\\"sleep inertia.\\\" Get into the habit of waking up the first time your alarm sounds. You'll be more alert and motivated to get going with your day.\\nKeep your curtains partially open. When light fills your bedroom in the morning, waking up is easier. Light in the morning tells your body to naturally awaken. It will help you get into a lighter stage of sleep, so when your alarm sounds, it's easier to get out of bed.\\nSet your alarm for 10 or 15 minutes earlier. You can ease into your morning more calmly as opposed to rushing around. Sit up slowly in bed and do some stretches.\\nMake an effort to go to bed around the same time each night, even on weekends or days off. Consistency is key to healthy sleep patterns. Your circadian rhythm stays in sync when you have the same bedtime routine each night.\\n2-2. Simplify getting dressed.\\nHave two or three ready-to-go outfits in your closet. For example, have your shirt, pants, and belt on one hanger, with matching shoes below. This takes the guesswork out of choosing an outfit for the morning.\\nSleep in your workout clothes. If you want to work out first thing in the morning, you'll have one less thing to do if you're already dressed to hit the gym.\\n2-3. Rehydrate your body.\\nYou're dehydrated when you wake up since you've fasted all night during sleep. Drink a glass of water or a small cup of juice with your breakfast. This wakes up the cells in your brain. It's an instant way to feel more alert and motivated.\\nDrink caffeine moderately. A cup or two of coffee or tea helps you feel more alert. Avoid caffeine overload. Any more than three cups may make you feel jittery and distracted. It can actually decrease motivation because you're unable to focus.\\n2-4. Get physically active in the morning.\\nNot everyone benefits from a full workout first thing in the morning. If fitting in a workout means you'll cut into your seven to nine hours of sleep, then working out later in the day may be better for you. However, doing brief amounts physical activity in the morning will help you feel more awake and energized.\\nMove around to music while you're getting ready for the day. Listen to music and dance while brushing your teeth or making your coffee. Even two or three minutes of movement goes a long way.\\nTake a brisk walk outside for five minutes. A quick walk gets your blood pumping and activates your brain. You'll be more motivated to start your day.\\n2-5. Place a white board and basket by your door.\\nKeep things organized so you remember all your essentials such grabbing your keys and feeding your dog. List the things you need to do before you leave the house in the morning on a dry erase board. Also keep a basket by the door and place the things you'll need for your day.\\nPut your keys, transportation passes, wallet, handbag, sunglasses and backpack in the basket. In the morning, you'll know exactly where all of your essential items are so you can grab and go.\\nWrite a checklist of things you must do before you leave the house on the white board. Scan the board each morning so you can leave the house knowing you've remembered everything. For example, list “feed cat, grab lunch, take coffee.”\\n3. Building Your Motivation in Your Life\\n3-1. Build optimism.\\nHaving a positive outlook helps your motivation. You see desires and goals as attainable when you have an optimistic, can-do attitude. Lack of optimism may lead to procrastination, or putting off things you want to or need to do. You avoid doing something that is good for you because it seems too hard. Build your optimism by journaling. You can train yourself to take action in the morning and all day.\\nThink about something you've been putting off doing, like going back to school.\\nMake two columns in a journal. In the first column, write down the challenges you feel are keeping you from achieving your dream (in this case, going back to school). For example, “I don't have money to go back to school. I don't have the time.”\\nIn the second column, write down how the goal benefits you. What would your life be like immediately after, a year after and five years after you achieve it? For example, “I have the qualifications for my dream job. I can earn more money. I can buy a house.” Recognize the feelings of joy and pride that come with these accomplishments.\\nBuild on your feelings of joy and pride. Take one small step toward your goal. For example, you might research college programs, or contact schools to find out about financial aid.\\nWrite in your journal each week, noting your accomplishments as well as your challenges. Make notes on how you can overcome the difficulties you faced from the week before. You can keep your motivation high by acknowledging your progress and using problem-solving for the difficulties.\\n3-2. Reward yourself for reaching your goals.\\nIncentives help with motivation. Just like when you reward a pet with a treat for doing something good, you need to reward yourself. Set rewards for each small goal you reach. For example, play a 10-minute game on your tablet if you get your chores done.\\nMonetary rewards are often the most motivating. For example, if your goal is to walk for 20 minutes each day with your friend, give your friend $20. When you show up and complete your walk, your friend gives you your money back. If you don't show up, they keep your money. You'll find that you're highly motivated to walk every day.\\n3-3. Create boundaries.\\nWhen you're stretched in many directions, you'll have little time to reach your own goals. Having too many obligations saps your motivation. Say “no” to unnecessary commitments. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will. Only take on obligations that are essential and say “no” to the rest.\\nAvoid agreeing to commitments because you feel guilty. If you agree to do something simply to spare another person's feelings, you'll end up feeling resentful and bitter.\\nMake a list of your priorities. Focus on what's important to you and how you want to spend your time. If something falls outside of your priorities, politely decline.\\nBe brief yet firm. You don't need to give someone a lengthy explanation. Be succinct, honest and polite. Simply say, “No, I can't organize the fundraiser this year. Thanks for thinking of me. Good luck with your event.”\\n3-4. Surround yourself with motivating people.\\nWhen you surround yourself with positive and driven people, you're more likely to be motivated and stick to your goals. You'll hold each other accountable. Positivity is infectious. When those around you are optimistic and motivated, your own positivity will grow.\\nConnect with a mentor. For example, maybe you want to go back to school, but no one around you seems to support you. Contact a school and ask to get connected with a student who successfully completed the program. Talk to them about their tips for success.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"What you do in the morning sets the tone for the day. When your morning is chaotic and stressful, the rest of your day will probably be too. Being motivated in the morning takes planning. Few people are natural early birds. With some simple changes, you can create an organized and a calm morning routine. When you're motivated in the morning, you're more productive all day.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Developing Healthy Eating and Sleeping Habits the Night Before\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare your breakfast and lunch the night before.\", \"描述\": \"With getting yourself ready, caring for pets and kids or juggling before-work chores, you're packing in a lot of activities in the morning. Lighten the load by preparing breakfast and lunch the evening before. When all you have to do is grab your meal and go, you're less likely to skip breakfast because you're in a rush and you'll avoid grabbing unhealthy fast food for lunch.\\nKeep your energy levels high. The energy you got from eating dinner the night before is depleted by morning. Eating a high-fiber breakfast stabilizes your blood sugar, which helps you feel energized and more focused. You need energy for maximum motivation in the morning and all day long. Avoid refined carbohydrates such as doughnuts because they create a blood sugar spike and then a crash.\\nKeep your breakfast simple and nutritious. Boil eggs and refrigerate so they're handy for busy mornings. Enjoy a hard-boiled egg with an English muffin and a banana for a balanced breakfast. Another option is to cook oatmeal overnight in a crockpot. Enjoy hot oatmeal and fruit in the morning and refrigerate leftovers for a quick breakfast the rest of the week.\\nPack a balanced lunch. Use a wide-mouthed mason jar to make a high-protein salad. Place salad dressing at the bottom of the jar. Next, layer veggies such as cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, carrots and chickpeas. Add lean protein such as grilled chicken. Finally add leafy greens on the top, close the lid and refrigerate. The salad will stay fresh overnight since the greens are separated from the dressing. When you're ready for lunch, simply shake the jar to spread the dressing and then pour into a bowl.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy dinner.\", \"描述\": \"Your body uses food from dinner as fuel while you sleep. You'll wake up with more energy and motivation when you power your body with the right foods the night before. Eat lean protein such as grilled chicken, fish or beans. Add vegetables and complex carbohydrates such as brown rice or quinoa.\\nYour body uses a lot of energy to digest food. Eating a heavy meal near bedtime makes it harder to fall asleep. Eat two or three hours before bedtime. This gives your body time to finish digestion before you hit the sack. Avoid sugary or greasy foods since they can lead to a blood sugar spike or heartburn. Both make it harder to fall asleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shut off electronics before bedtime.\", \"描述\": \"Tablets, smartphones, computers and TVs all activate your brain. You're in thinking mode instead of relaxation mode. An activated brain makes it difficult to fall asleep. Once your sleep is disrupted, you'll have a hard time getting motivated in the morning. Turn off all electronic devices at least one hour before bedtime.\\nThe artificial light from electronic devices disrupts your circadian rhythm. It suppresses the sleep-hormone melatonin, which causes you to stay awake longer. Disrupted sleep means you're sluggish and irritable in the morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid caffeine before bedtime.\", \"描述\": \"Caffeine makes you feel alert for several hours. You'll take longer to fall asleep and have restless sleep when you consume caffeine at night. You'll wake up feeling groggy instead of energized. Avoid caffeinated beverages such as coffee, tea or soda for at least four hours before bedtime.\\nDrink non-caffeinated beverages instead such as caffeine-free tea or warm milk. These have a soothing effect. You'll having an easier time falling and staying asleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Skip alcohol near bedtime.\", \"描述\": \"Having a nightcap before bed isn't as relaxing as it seems. Alcohol is a depressant so it causes you to feel sleepy at first. As the alcohol wears off, it has a stimulating effect. You'll wake up and have a hard time going back to sleep. Alcohol also disrupts your sleep cycles, so you won't get the type of sleep that you need to feel rested.\\nLimit alcohol to one or two drinks a day. Have your last drink at least two hours before bed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Create a bedtime routine\", \"描述\": \"Bedtime routines are not just for children. Train your mind and body to fall asleep and stay asleep. A good night's rest is crucial to starting your morning feeling energized and focused.\\nRead an old-fashioned book or magazine. You'll fatigue your brain and fall asleep more easily when you read. Avoid reading from an electronic device because the light from the device can keep you awake. Plus, you'll be tempted to check your messages or apps.\\nRelax your muscles. Taking a warm bath or doing gentle stretching are some ways you can release tension from your body. Your muscles are tight from your busy day. A bath or stretching helps you unwind and more easily fall asleep.\\nAim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night. This amount allows you to move through all the cycles of sleep. There are four phases of sleep that repeat approximately every 90 minutes. If you sleep for less than seven hours, you cannot cycle through all the phases.\\nRecognize that sleep is important to your overall health. Sleep deprivation leads to memory loss, lack of concentration and fatigue. Consistently sleeping well boosts your immune system and helps you control your weight. A good night's rest improves your energy, motivation and overall wellbeing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Charge of Your Morning\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid hitting snooze.\", \"描述\": \"When you're warm and cozy in bed and your alarm goes off, your first instinct is to hit snooze. When you snooze your alarm and drift back to sleep, you're resetting your sleep cycle. The next time your alarm sounds, you'll be groggier because you're interrupting a new sleep cycle. This is called \\\"sleep inertia.\\\" Get into the habit of waking up the first time your alarm sounds. You'll be more alert and motivated to get going with your day.\\nKeep your curtains partially open. When light fills your bedroom in the morning, waking up is easier. Light in the morning tells your body to naturally awaken. It will help you get into a lighter stage of sleep, so when your alarm sounds, it's easier to get out of bed.\\nSet your alarm for 10 or 15 minutes earlier. You can ease into your morning more calmly as opposed to rushing around. Sit up slowly in bed and do some stretches.\\nMake an effort to go to bed around the same time each night, even on weekends or days off. Consistency is key to healthy sleep patterns. Your circadian rhythm stays in sync when you have the same bedtime routine each night.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Simplify getting dressed.\", \"描述\": \"Have two or three ready-to-go outfits in your closet. For example, have your shirt, pants, and belt on one hanger, with matching shoes below. This takes the guesswork out of choosing an outfit for the morning.\\nSleep in your workout clothes. If you want to work out first thing in the morning, you'll have one less thing to do if you're already dressed to hit the gym.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rehydrate your body.\", \"描述\": \"You're dehydrated when you wake up since you've fasted all night during sleep. Drink a glass of water or a small cup of juice with your breakfast. This wakes up the cells in your brain. It's an instant way to feel more alert and motivated.\\nDrink caffeine moderately. A cup or two of coffee or tea helps you feel more alert. Avoid caffeine overload. Any more than three cups may make you feel jittery and distracted. It can actually decrease motivation because you're unable to focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get physically active in the morning.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone benefits from a full workout first thing in the morning. If fitting in a workout means you'll cut into your seven to nine hours of sleep, then working out later in the day may be better for you. However, doing brief amounts physical activity in the morning will help you feel more awake and energized.\\nMove around to music while you're getting ready for the day. Listen to music and dance while brushing your teeth or making your coffee. Even two or three minutes of movement goes a long way.\\nTake a brisk walk outside for five minutes. A quick walk gets your blood pumping and activates your brain. You'll be more motivated to start your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Place a white board and basket by your door.\", \"描述\": \"Keep things organized so you remember all your essentials such grabbing your keys and feeding your dog. List the things you need to do before you leave the house in the morning on a dry erase board. Also keep a basket by the door and place the things you'll need for your day.\\nPut your keys, transportation passes, wallet, handbag, sunglasses and backpack in the basket. In the morning, you'll know exactly where all of your essential items are so you can grab and go.\\nWrite a checklist of things you must do before you leave the house on the white board. Scan the board each morning so you can leave the house knowing you've remembered everything. For example, list “feed cat, grab lunch, take coffee.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building Your Motivation in Your Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build optimism.\", \"描述\": \"Having a positive outlook helps your motivation. You see desires and goals as attainable when you have an optimistic, can-do attitude. Lack of optimism may lead to procrastination, or putting off things you want to or need to do. You avoid doing something that is good for you because it seems too hard. Build your optimism by journaling. You can train yourself to take action in the morning and all day.\\nThink about something you've been putting off doing, like going back to school.\\nMake two columns in a journal. In the first column, write down the challenges you feel are keeping you from achieving your dream (in this case, going back to school). For example, “I don't have money to go back to school. I don't have the time.”\\nIn the second column, write down how the goal benefits you. What would your life be like immediately after, a year after and five years after you achieve it? For example, “I have the qualifications for my dream job. I can earn more money. I can buy a house.” Recognize the feelings of joy and pride that come with these accomplishments.\\nBuild on your feelings of joy and pride. Take one small step toward your goal. For example, you might research college programs, or contact schools to find out about financial aid.\\nWrite in your journal each week, noting your accomplishments as well as your challenges. Make notes on how you can overcome the difficulties you faced from the week before. You can keep your motivation high by acknowledging your progress and using problem-solving for the difficulties.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself for reaching your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Incentives help with motivation. Just like when you reward a pet with a treat for doing something good, you need to reward yourself. Set rewards for each small goal you reach. For example, play a 10-minute game on your tablet if you get your chores done.\\nMonetary rewards are often the most motivating. For example, if your goal is to walk for 20 minutes each day with your friend, give your friend $20. When you show up and complete your walk, your friend gives you your money back. If you don't show up, they keep your money. You'll find that you're highly motivated to walk every day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"When you're stretched in many directions, you'll have little time to reach your own goals. Having too many obligations saps your motivation. Say “no” to unnecessary commitments. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will. Only take on obligations that are essential and say “no” to the rest.\\nAvoid agreeing to commitments because you feel guilty. If you agree to do something simply to spare another person's feelings, you'll end up feeling resentful and bitter.\\nMake a list of your priorities. Focus on what's important to you and how you want to spend your time. If something falls outside of your priorities, politely decline.\\nBe brief yet firm. You don't need to give someone a lengthy explanation. Be succinct, honest and polite. Simply say, “No, I can't organize the fundraiser this year. Thanks for thinking of me. Good luck with your event.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with motivating people.\", \"描述\": \"When you surround yourself with positive and driven people, you're more likely to be motivated and stick to your goals. You'll hold each other accountable. Positivity is infectious. When those around you are optimistic and motivated, your own positivity will grow.\\nConnect with a mentor. For example, maybe you want to go back to school, but no one around you seems to support you. Contact a school and ask to get connected with a student who successfully completed the program. Talk to them about their tips for success.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,966 | How to Be Motivated to Practice an Instrument | 1. Preparing to Practice
1-1. Set goals.
Set yourself a goal for each practice session. Write down what you want to accomplish with the practice session beforehand. Keep notes on your progress in a practice log. Dedicate your practice session to achieving your goal rather than adhering to a specific amount of practice time.
For example, instead of following a rule of practicing for 30 minutes, focus on achieving your musical goal for the day, whether it takes 12 minutes or 40 minutes.
An example of a goal you might set would be: “This practice session I will memorize four lines of this sheet music.”
When you accomplish goals, reward yourself. Your brain reacts to reward systems with a “habit loop” – meaning when you receive a reward for a task, your brain is inclined to repeat the successful behavior.
1-2. Change your practice location.
If your instrument is moveable, change the physical location where you practice. For example, if you usually practice your instrument in the dining room, try practicing in the bedroom instead – perhaps with a window view. Weather permitting, you may even be able to practice outside! Just remember to tune your instrument whenever you change rooms.
If your instrument is not easily moveable, such as a piano, you may consider getting a portable version of your instrument (such as a keyboard) so that you can vary your practice location from time to time.
Move any practice accessories with you to the new location, or have duplicates of them. For instance, bring with you a music stand, a pencil, a pencil sharpener, a clean eraser, and any instrument-specific supplies such as guitar picks or reeds. Always have your supplies on-hand, wherever you practice.
1-3. Change your practice schedule.
Individuals are psychologically wired to practice different amounts and in different ways. If you've been abiding by a rigid practice schedule, try abandoning it – at least temporarily. Sometimes teachers or parents encourage you to box yourself into a practice timetable that makes you feel restricted rather than inspired. Prove to yourself and others that your creative energy is enough to lead you by ditching your set practicing times and playing when you feel the impulse instead.
Schedule days that are “practice-free zones,” when you are not obligated to practice unless you feel the urge to do so.
If you don't have a practice schedule, you should implement one. Dedicate a certain time of the day to practicing your instrument.
1-4. Create a barrier between your practice and the outside world.
When you need to practice, plan a “force field” of sorts as a way of shutting out distractions. It could be a sign, a t-shirt, or a note stuck to your door. Let everyone else know that you're not to be disturbed while you're practicing. Have a designated, quiet practice area ready when you need it.
Ask others to leave you alone when you practice, at least for a couple of weeks. Try saying, "I want to find out whether I have more motivation and better results alone or with an audience. Would you mind making sure I'm undisturbed during practice for the next two weeks, to see how it goes?"
If your parents, family or roommates don't interrupt and are silent when you're practice, it may be fine for them to be in the room.
1-5. Don't wait until the last minute to practice.
Think of each upcoming lesson and event as a deadline you must prepare for ahead of time. For instance, if you know that you have a concert in 10 days, and you practice 27 hours beforehand (an average of 3 hours per day), you could impress your teacher or friends and maybe even move up chairs in orchestra.
Lessons are meant for learning and working on new material. The more you prepare beforehand, the more you will be able to address new concepts during your lessons.
2. Changing Your Practice Style
2-1. Change your timing.
Play at different speeds: slow, medium and fast. Use a metronome and practice scales with different beat durations or tempos. Instead of playing through the beat continuously, try a stop-and-go method.
For instance, play three notes, pause, play three more notes, pause again, and continue this variation.
2-2. Use different practice techniques.
Instead of just playing the same piece repeatedly in the same way, try new ways of playing it. Change octaves. Practice with your eyes closed sometimes. Alternate playing softly and loudly. Try practicing while you bounce, dance, wiggle your head, or beatbox.
Explore other practice methods, such as chaining. With chaining, you play small units at tempo and slowly build longer chains of units. Start with a small passage and add a measure each time you master a small unit.
2-3. Isolate trouble spots.
Play a piece completely through the first time and mark down the places where you ran into difficulty. Take those portions out and practice them separately. Isolating and repeating difficult music passages can help you to master a piece of music.
Instead of getting discouraged when you reach parts that cause you stumble, you extract them and give them hyper-focus until you can play them as well as the rest of the piece.
2-4. Break practice sessions into blocks.
Each day of practicing should at least include a block of playing scales as well as a block of time focused on building technical skills. Repeat one activity (or "block") acceptably before moving on to the next. This encourages comfort with the activity and prompts muscle memory to kick in.
For example, spend the first block of time warming up, the second block on a difficult piece of music, the third on proper finger placement, and the fourth on some smaller pieces you have already practiced before.
Another approach is to time each block. For example, spend 10 minutes on scales. Even if you don't get it perfect by the end of that time, move on to the next block. Otherwise, getting stuck can be frustrating.
2-5. Use visible benchmarks to master difficult measures.
A good way to do this is to place three objects, such as coins or beads, in front of you (on your music stand, if possible). When you play a challenging measure correctly, move one object to the right. If you play the measure through successfully again, move another object to the right. If you stumble with the notes or rhythm, return all of the objects to the left. You have to play the measure through without errors three times in a row in order to move all of the objects to the right-hand side.
Once all of your coins or beads are to the right, you can connect the difficult measure to the measures surrounding it, and then to the rest of the music.
2-6. Make practice into a game.
Make flashcards with musical tasks in four groups: warmups, technical methods, difficult or long songs, and easy or short songs. You can list specific songs, scales or chords on the flashcards, or write in general terms such as genres or octaves. Alternate your practice session with “surprise” flash card days. Choose one flashcard at random from each group to determine which musical pieces you will practice that day.
Roll dice: whatever number you get is how many times you will play a measure or a song.
Try incorporating your practice into a board game. Keep a board game designated for instrument practice in your music area. Each time you master a piece of music or a technique, move up a space on the game board and write down what you achieved.
3. Finding Inspiration
3-1. Identify with your instrument.
One of the most important factors in staying motivated to practice music is the enjoyment and satisfaction you gain from playing your instrument. Students who fail to identify with their instrument are less likely to stick to their craft. Remind yourself of the reasons you liked your instrument in the first place.
Think about the unique beauty of your instrument and the design that went into making it. Handle it gently and examine its texture, curves and details. Look at your instrument as if it has its own personality, and consider the great potential it has to assist you in elevating your skills.
3-2. Go to concerts and other musical events.
Attending concerts or musicals as an audience member can be inspiring. Participating in these events yourself as a musician can be motivating factors to continue practicing an instrument. Watching musical movies also has the potential to boost your creativity.
Use the inspiration from musical events to practice with performance in mind. Think about how skilled musicians played their instruments during performances and channel their examples as you play your own instrument – even when you're just rehearsing.
3-3. Select practice pieces that you like.
If you have musical instructors, ask them to allow you to select parts of your practice. Students may learn faster if allowed to choose some of their own music or practice routines. When you practice at home, try playing current music or other pieces that you enjoy.
There are various online sources where you can find free sheet music to practice with.
Focus on practicing pieces in a style you like—the more time you spend playing, the better you'll be!
3-4. Get inspiration from others.
Ask people whose advice you trust – such as your music teacher or parents – who they consider to be musical greats. Also ask them which pieces by those artists they found to be the most moving. Write down the names of the musicians and specific pieces of music. Then go to an online music source such as YouTube, iTunes or Spotify and listen to some of the songs. Watching performances by musical geniuses can spark your enthusiasm for playing your instrument!
If the person you're asking also plays an instrument or has in the past, ask if he or she knows of any tips for making practice fun.
3-5. Get creative.
Make up songs. Make up words to instrumental melodies that don't have vocals. Think outside the box: trying to mimic a bird's song or the refrain of a ballad on your instrument can be a fun way to practice playing by ear.
If there is a portion of music you're struggling with, try improvising the piece by changing chords or notes until you get a better feel for the piece.
3-6. Have a recital.
Invite any peers who also practice instruments to participate. Host a recital for supportive family members and/or friends who love music. They will get a free, personal concert, and you will have an extra incentive to practice! Pick a piece that you love and will enjoy practicing repeatedly.
Whether or not you want to schedule a live recital, view every lesson you take as a mini-recital.
3-7. Take breaks.
Distracting yourself can actually boost your creativity. When you are feeling frustrated, take a break and do something that requires more muscle memory than thought, so that your mind can wander. When your brain shifts modes in such a way, you can experience a “creative pause” – new solutions, ideas, and motivation can unexpectedly pop up.
For example, try taking a shower, doing the dishes, mowing the lawn or folding laundry. Allow your mind to wander and try not to focus on thinking directly about any obstacles you are facing in music practice.
3-8. Play with someone else.
Playing music with others can result in social, creative improvisation. You can join in and pick up the rhythm, sound, or tunes of others. Don't save playing your instrument alongside your peers for lessons or recitals; try practicing and rehearsing with other musicians, whether their instruments are the same as yours or different mediums. There is also software such as Jamulus which allows you to collaborate with other musicians in online jam sessions.
If you don't have a peer who can practice an instrument alongside you, try asking someone to sing while you play.
3-9. Challenge yourself.
Try playing harder songs. You must take on new challenges in order to develop new skills. However, the challenge should be matched to your skill level.
The music you are working to excel at should not make you bored – if it does, it's below your skill level.
The music should be complex to you, but not so difficult that it makes you anxious. If you find yourself getting discouraged, take it back a notch and practice something not quite so hard.
Tips
Be positive. Have an upbeat attitude and try not to complain.[33]
X
Research source
Don't start at the beginning of a musical piece every practice. If you do, you can end up very good at the beginning and wilting further into the piece.[34]
X
Research source
Remember that the intention of private instruction is to motivate you. Parents and instructors view giving you extra help as a motivational tool. It does not indicate any weakness! Rather, it reinforces that you have talent worth pursuing and fine-tuning.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Practice\\n1-1. Set goals.\\nSet yourself a goal for each practice session. Write down what you want to accomplish with the practice session beforehand. Keep notes on your progress in a practice log. Dedicate your practice session to achieving your goal rather than adhering to a specific amount of practice time.\\nFor example, instead of following a rule of practicing for 30 minutes, focus on achieving your musical goal for the day, whether it takes 12 minutes or 40 minutes.\\nAn example of a goal you might set would be: “This practice session I will memorize four lines of this sheet music.”\\nWhen you accomplish goals, reward yourself. Your brain reacts to reward systems with a “habit loop” – meaning when you receive a reward for a task, your brain is inclined to repeat the successful behavior.\\n1-2. Change your practice location.\\nIf your instrument is moveable, change the physical location where you practice. For example, if you usually practice your instrument in the dining room, try practicing in the bedroom instead – perhaps with a window view. Weather permitting, you may even be able to practice outside! Just remember to tune your instrument whenever you change rooms.\\nIf your instrument is not easily moveable, such as a piano, you may consider getting a portable version of your instrument (such as a keyboard) so that you can vary your practice location from time to time.\\nMove any practice accessories with you to the new location, or have duplicates of them. For instance, bring with you a music stand, a pencil, a pencil sharpener, a clean eraser, and any instrument-specific supplies such as guitar picks or reeds. Always have your supplies on-hand, wherever you practice.\\n1-3. Change your practice schedule.\\nIndividuals are psychologically wired to practice different amounts and in different ways. If you've been abiding by a rigid practice schedule, try abandoning it – at least temporarily. Sometimes teachers or parents encourage you to box yourself into a practice timetable that makes you feel restricted rather than inspired. Prove to yourself and others that your creative energy is enough to lead you by ditching your set practicing times and playing when you feel the impulse instead.\\nSchedule days that are “practice-free zones,” when you are not obligated to practice unless you feel the urge to do so.\\nIf you don't have a practice schedule, you should implement one. Dedicate a certain time of the day to practicing your instrument.\\n1-4. Create a barrier between your practice and the outside world.\\nWhen you need to practice, plan a “force field” of sorts as a way of shutting out distractions. It could be a sign, a t-shirt, or a note stuck to your door. Let everyone else know that you're not to be disturbed while you're practicing. Have a designated, quiet practice area ready when you need it.\\nAsk others to leave you alone when you practice, at least for a couple of weeks. Try saying, \\\"I want to find out whether I have more motivation and better results alone or with an audience. Would you mind making sure I'm undisturbed during practice for the next two weeks, to see how it goes?\\\"\\nIf your parents, family or roommates don't interrupt and are silent when you're practice, it may be fine for them to be in the room.\\n1-5. Don't wait until the last minute to practice.\\nThink of each upcoming lesson and event as a deadline you must prepare for ahead of time. For instance, if you know that you have a concert in 10 days, and you practice 27 hours beforehand (an average of 3 hours per day), you could impress your teacher or friends and maybe even move up chairs in orchestra.\\nLessons are meant for learning and working on new material. The more you prepare beforehand, the more you will be able to address new concepts during your lessons.\\n2. Changing Your Practice Style\\n2-1. Change your timing.\\nPlay at different speeds: slow, medium and fast. Use a metronome and practice scales with different beat durations or tempos. Instead of playing through the beat continuously, try a stop-and-go method.\\nFor instance, play three notes, pause, play three more notes, pause again, and continue this variation.\\n2-2. Use different practice techniques.\\nInstead of just playing the same piece repeatedly in the same way, try new ways of playing it. Change octaves. Practice with your eyes closed sometimes. Alternate playing softly and loudly. Try practicing while you bounce, dance, wiggle your head, or beatbox.\\nExplore other practice methods, such as chaining. With chaining, you play small units at tempo and slowly build longer chains of units. Start with a small passage and add a measure each time you master a small unit.\\n2-3. Isolate trouble spots.\\nPlay a piece completely through the first time and mark down the places where you ran into difficulty. Take those portions out and practice them separately. Isolating and repeating difficult music passages can help you to master a piece of music.\\nInstead of getting discouraged when you reach parts that cause you stumble, you extract them and give them hyper-focus until you can play them as well as the rest of the piece.\\n2-4. Break practice sessions into blocks.\\nEach day of practicing should at least include a block of playing scales as well as a block of time focused on building technical skills. Repeat one activity (or \\\"block\\\") acceptably before moving on to the next. This encourages comfort with the activity and prompts muscle memory to kick in.\\nFor example, spend the first block of time warming up, the second block on a difficult piece of music, the third on proper finger placement, and the fourth on some smaller pieces you have already practiced before.\\nAnother approach is to time each block. For example, spend 10 minutes on scales. Even if you don't get it perfect by the end of that time, move on to the next block. Otherwise, getting stuck can be frustrating.\\n2-5. Use visible benchmarks to master difficult measures.\\nA good way to do this is to place three objects, such as coins or beads, in front of you (on your music stand, if possible). When you play a challenging measure correctly, move one object to the right. If you play the measure through successfully again, move another object to the right. If you stumble with the notes or rhythm, return all of the objects to the left. You have to play the measure through without errors three times in a row in order to move all of the objects to the right-hand side.\\nOnce all of your coins or beads are to the right, you can connect the difficult measure to the measures surrounding it, and then to the rest of the music.\\n2-6. Make practice into a game.\\nMake flashcards with musical tasks in four groups: warmups, technical methods, difficult or long songs, and easy or short songs. You can list specific songs, scales or chords on the flashcards, or write in general terms such as genres or octaves. Alternate your practice session with “surprise” flash card days. Choose one flashcard at random from each group to determine which musical pieces you will practice that day.\\nRoll dice: whatever number you get is how many times you will play a measure or a song.\\nTry incorporating your practice into a board game. Keep a board game designated for instrument practice in your music area. Each time you master a piece of music or a technique, move up a space on the game board and write down what you achieved.\\n3. Finding Inspiration\\n3-1. Identify with your instrument.\\nOne of the most important factors in staying motivated to practice music is the enjoyment and satisfaction you gain from playing your instrument. Students who fail to identify with their instrument are less likely to stick to their craft. Remind yourself of the reasons you liked your instrument in the first place.\\nThink about the unique beauty of your instrument and the design that went into making it. Handle it gently and examine its texture, curves and details. Look at your instrument as if it has its own personality, and consider the great potential it has to assist you in elevating your skills.\\n3-2. Go to concerts and other musical events.\\nAttending concerts or musicals as an audience member can be inspiring. Participating in these events yourself as a musician can be motivating factors to continue practicing an instrument. Watching musical movies also has the potential to boost your creativity.\\nUse the inspiration from musical events to practice with performance in mind. Think about how skilled musicians played their instruments during performances and channel their examples as you play your own instrument – even when you're just rehearsing.\\n3-3. Select practice pieces that you like.\\nIf you have musical instructors, ask them to allow you to select parts of your practice. Students may learn faster if allowed to choose some of their own music or practice routines. When you practice at home, try playing current music or other pieces that you enjoy.\\nThere are various online sources where you can find free sheet music to practice with.\\nFocus on practicing pieces in a style you like—the more time you spend playing, the better you'll be!\\n3-4. Get inspiration from others.\\nAsk people whose advice you trust – such as your music teacher or parents – who they consider to be musical greats. Also ask them which pieces by those artists they found to be the most moving. Write down the names of the musicians and specific pieces of music. Then go to an online music source such as YouTube, iTunes or Spotify and listen to some of the songs. Watching performances by musical geniuses can spark your enthusiasm for playing your instrument!\\nIf the person you're asking also plays an instrument or has in the past, ask if he or she knows of any tips for making practice fun.\\n3-5. Get creative.\\nMake up songs. Make up words to instrumental melodies that don't have vocals. Think outside the box: trying to mimic a bird's song or the refrain of a ballad on your instrument can be a fun way to practice playing by ear.\\nIf there is a portion of music you're struggling with, try improvising the piece by changing chords or notes until you get a better feel for the piece.\\n3-6. Have a recital.\\nInvite any peers who also practice instruments to participate. Host a recital for supportive family members and/or friends who love music. They will get a free, personal concert, and you will have an extra incentive to practice! Pick a piece that you love and will enjoy practicing repeatedly.\\nWhether or not you want to schedule a live recital, view every lesson you take as a mini-recital.\\n3-7. Take breaks.\\nDistracting yourself can actually boost your creativity. When you are feeling frustrated, take a break and do something that requires more muscle memory than thought, so that your mind can wander. When your brain shifts modes in such a way, you can experience a “creative pause” – new solutions, ideas, and motivation can unexpectedly pop up.\\nFor example, try taking a shower, doing the dishes, mowing the lawn or folding laundry. Allow your mind to wander and try not to focus on thinking directly about any obstacles you are facing in music practice.\\n3-8. Play with someone else.\\nPlaying music with others can result in social, creative improvisation. You can join in and pick up the rhythm, sound, or tunes of others. Don't save playing your instrument alongside your peers for lessons or recitals; try practicing and rehearsing with other musicians, whether their instruments are the same as yours or different mediums. There is also software such as Jamulus which allows you to collaborate with other musicians in online jam sessions.\\nIf you don't have a peer who can practice an instrument alongside you, try asking someone to sing while you play.\\n3-9. Challenge yourself.\\nTry playing harder songs. You must take on new challenges in order to develop new skills. However, the challenge should be matched to your skill level.\\nThe music you are working to excel at should not make you bored – if it does, it's below your skill level.\\nThe music should be complex to you, but not so difficult that it makes you anxious. If you find yourself getting discouraged, take it back a notch and practice something not quite so hard.\\nTips\\nBe positive. Have an upbeat attitude and try not to complain.[33]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't start at the beginning of a musical piece every practice. If you do, you can end up very good at the beginning and wilting further into the piece.[34]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nRemember that the intention of private instruction is to motivate you. Parents and instructors view giving you extra help as a motivational tool. It does not indicate any weakness! Rather, it reinforces that you have talent worth pursuing and fine-tuning.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In order to play an instrument well, you will need to practice. However, sometimes practicing an instrument can feel like a chore. Changing your practice routine and finding inspiration can make learning an instrument more fun. Everyone is different, so find out what which motivational techniques work best for you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Practice\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set goals.\", \"描述\": \"Set yourself a goal for each practice session. Write down what you want to accomplish with the practice session beforehand. Keep notes on your progress in a practice log. Dedicate your practice session to achieving your goal rather than adhering to a specific amount of practice time.\\nFor example, instead of following a rule of practicing for 30 minutes, focus on achieving your musical goal for the day, whether it takes 12 minutes or 40 minutes.\\nAn example of a goal you might set would be: “This practice session I will memorize four lines of this sheet music.”\\nWhen you accomplish goals, reward yourself. Your brain reacts to reward systems with a “habit loop” – meaning when you receive a reward for a task, your brain is inclined to repeat the successful behavior.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Change your practice location.\", \"描述\": \"If your instrument is moveable, change the physical location where you practice. For example, if you usually practice your instrument in the dining room, try practicing in the bedroom instead – perhaps with a window view. Weather permitting, you may even be able to practice outside! Just remember to tune your instrument whenever you change rooms.\\nIf your instrument is not easily moveable, such as a piano, you may consider getting a portable version of your instrument (such as a keyboard) so that you can vary your practice location from time to time.\\nMove any practice accessories with you to the new location, or have duplicates of them. For instance, bring with you a music stand, a pencil, a pencil sharpener, a clean eraser, and any instrument-specific supplies such as guitar picks or reeds. Always have your supplies on-hand, wherever you practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change your practice schedule.\", \"描述\": \"Individuals are psychologically wired to practice different amounts and in different ways. If you've been abiding by a rigid practice schedule, try abandoning it – at least temporarily. Sometimes teachers or parents encourage you to box yourself into a practice timetable that makes you feel restricted rather than inspired. Prove to yourself and others that your creative energy is enough to lead you by ditching your set practicing times and playing when you feel the impulse instead.\\nSchedule days that are “practice-free zones,” when you are not obligated to practice unless you feel the urge to do so.\\nIf you don't have a practice schedule, you should implement one. Dedicate a certain time of the day to practicing your instrument.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a barrier between your practice and the outside world.\", \"描述\": \"When you need to practice, plan a “force field” of sorts as a way of shutting out distractions. It could be a sign, a t-shirt, or a note stuck to your door. Let everyone else know that you're not to be disturbed while you're practicing. Have a designated, quiet practice area ready when you need it.\\nAsk others to leave you alone when you practice, at least for a couple of weeks. Try saying, \\\"I want to find out whether I have more motivation and better results alone or with an audience. Would you mind making sure I'm undisturbed during practice for the next two weeks, to see how it goes?\\\"\\nIf your parents, family or roommates don't interrupt and are silent when you're practice, it may be fine for them to be in the room.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't wait until the last minute to practice.\", \"描述\": \"Think of each upcoming lesson and event as a deadline you must prepare for ahead of time. For instance, if you know that you have a concert in 10 days, and you practice 27 hours beforehand (an average of 3 hours per day), you could impress your teacher or friends and maybe even move up chairs in orchestra.\\nLessons are meant for learning and working on new material. The more you prepare beforehand, the more you will be able to address new concepts during your lessons.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Practice Style\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change your timing.\", \"描述\": \"Play at different speeds: slow, medium and fast. Use a metronome and practice scales with different beat durations or tempos. Instead of playing through the beat continuously, try a stop-and-go method.\\nFor instance, play three notes, pause, play three more notes, pause again, and continue this variation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use different practice techniques.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of just playing the same piece repeatedly in the same way, try new ways of playing it. Change octaves. Practice with your eyes closed sometimes. Alternate playing softly and loudly. Try practicing while you bounce, dance, wiggle your head, or beatbox.\\nExplore other practice methods, such as chaining. With chaining, you play small units at tempo and slowly build longer chains of units. Start with a small passage and add a measure each time you master a small unit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Isolate trouble spots.\", \"描述\": \"Play a piece completely through the first time and mark down the places where you ran into difficulty. Take those portions out and practice them separately. Isolating and repeating difficult music passages can help you to master a piece of music.\\nInstead of getting discouraged when you reach parts that cause you stumble, you extract them and give them hyper-focus until you can play them as well as the rest of the piece.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Break practice sessions into blocks.\", \"描述\": \"Each day of practicing should at least include a block of playing scales as well as a block of time focused on building technical skills. Repeat one activity (or \\\"block\\\") acceptably before moving on to the next. This encourages comfort with the activity and prompts muscle memory to kick in.\\nFor example, spend the first block of time warming up, the second block on a difficult piece of music, the third on proper finger placement, and the fourth on some smaller pieces you have already practiced before.\\nAnother approach is to time each block. For example, spend 10 minutes on scales. Even if you don't get it perfect by the end of that time, move on to the next block. Otherwise, getting stuck can be frustrating.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use visible benchmarks to master difficult measures.\", \"描述\": \"A good way to do this is to place three objects, such as coins or beads, in front of you (on your music stand, if possible). When you play a challenging measure correctly, move one object to the right. If you play the measure through successfully again, move another object to the right. If you stumble with the notes or rhythm, return all of the objects to the left. You have to play the measure through without errors three times in a row in order to move all of the objects to the right-hand side.\\nOnce all of your coins or beads are to the right, you can connect the difficult measure to the measures surrounding it, and then to the rest of the music.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make practice into a game.\", \"描述\": \"Make flashcards with musical tasks in four groups: warmups, technical methods, difficult or long songs, and easy or short songs. You can list specific songs, scales or chords on the flashcards, or write in general terms such as genres or octaves. Alternate your practice session with “surprise” flash card days. Choose one flashcard at random from each group to determine which musical pieces you will practice that day.\\nRoll dice: whatever number you get is how many times you will play a measure or a song.\\nTry incorporating your practice into a board game. Keep a board game designated for instrument practice in your music area. Each time you master a piece of music or a technique, move up a space on the game board and write down what you achieved.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finding Inspiration\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify with your instrument.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important factors in staying motivated to practice music is the enjoyment and satisfaction you gain from playing your instrument. Students who fail to identify with their instrument are less likely to stick to their craft. Remind yourself of the reasons you liked your instrument in the first place.\\nThink about the unique beauty of your instrument and the design that went into making it. Handle it gently and examine its texture, curves and details. Look at your instrument as if it has its own personality, and consider the great potential it has to assist you in elevating your skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go to concerts and other musical events.\", \"描述\": \"Attending concerts or musicals as an audience member can be inspiring. Participating in these events yourself as a musician can be motivating factors to continue practicing an instrument. Watching musical movies also has the potential to boost your creativity.\\nUse the inspiration from musical events to practice with performance in mind. Think about how skilled musicians played their instruments during performances and channel their examples as you play your own instrument – even when you're just rehearsing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select practice pieces that you like.\", \"描述\": \"If you have musical instructors, ask them to allow you to select parts of your practice. Students may learn faster if allowed to choose some of their own music or practice routines. When you practice at home, try playing current music or other pieces that you enjoy.\\nThere are various online sources where you can find free sheet music to practice with.\\nFocus on practicing pieces in a style you like—the more time you spend playing, the better you'll be!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get inspiration from others.\", \"描述\": \"Ask people whose advice you trust – such as your music teacher or parents – who they consider to be musical greats. Also ask them which pieces by those artists they found to be the most moving. Write down the names of the musicians and specific pieces of music. Then go to an online music source such as YouTube, iTunes or Spotify and listen to some of the songs. Watching performances by musical geniuses can spark your enthusiasm for playing your instrument!\\nIf the person you're asking also plays an instrument or has in the past, ask if he or she knows of any tips for making practice fun.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get creative.\", \"描述\": \"Make up songs. Make up words to instrumental melodies that don't have vocals. Think outside the box: trying to mimic a bird's song or the refrain of a ballad on your instrument can be a fun way to practice playing by ear.\\nIf there is a portion of music you're struggling with, try improvising the piece by changing chords or notes until you get a better feel for the piece.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a recital.\", \"描述\": \"Invite any peers who also practice instruments to participate. Host a recital for supportive family members and/or friends who love music. They will get a free, personal concert, and you will have an extra incentive to practice! Pick a piece that you love and will enjoy practicing repeatedly.\\nWhether or not you want to schedule a live recital, view every lesson you take as a mini-recital.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take breaks.\", \"描述\": \"Distracting yourself can actually boost your creativity. When you are feeling frustrated, take a break and do something that requires more muscle memory than thought, so that your mind can wander. When your brain shifts modes in such a way, you can experience a “creative pause” – new solutions, ideas, and motivation can unexpectedly pop up.\\nFor example, try taking a shower, doing the dishes, mowing the lawn or folding laundry. Allow your mind to wander and try not to focus on thinking directly about any obstacles you are facing in music practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Play with someone else.\", \"描述\": \"Playing music with others can result in social, creative improvisation. You can join in and pick up the rhythm, sound, or tunes of others. Don't save playing your instrument alongside your peers for lessons or recitals; try practicing and rehearsing with other musicians, whether their instruments are the same as yours or different mediums. There is also software such as Jamulus which allows you to collaborate with other musicians in online jam sessions.\\nIf you don't have a peer who can practice an instrument alongside you, try asking someone to sing while you play.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Challenge yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Try playing harder songs. You must take on new challenges in order to develop new skills. However, the challenge should be matched to your skill level.\\nThe music you are working to excel at should not make you bored – if it does, it's below your skill level.\\nThe music should be complex to you, but not so difficult that it makes you anxious. If you find yourself getting discouraged, take it back a notch and practice something not quite so hard.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be positive. Have an upbeat attitude and try not to complain.[33]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't start at the beginning of a musical piece every practice. If you do, you can end up very good at the beginning and wilting further into the piece.[34]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Remember that the intention of private instruction is to motivate you. Parents and instructors view giving you extra help as a motivational tool. It does not indicate any weakness! Rather, it reinforces that you have talent worth pursuing and fine-tuning.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,967 | How to Be Mysterious | 1. Communicating with Others
1-1. Speak minimally about yourself.
If you’re outgoing and friendly, you might feel inclined to tell everyone your life story. However, mysterious people aren’t open books. Try to minimize the amount of things you disclose about yourself, and when you’re asked personal questions, answer them, but just with a few vague words.
For example, if someone asks you about a recent breakup you went through, you might say something like, “It just didn’t work out.” This is an acceptable response, but doesn’t reveal anything private about you.
1-2. Think before you speak.
This goes hand in hand with speaking minimally. Instead of saying every little thing that pops into your head, think about why you want to say what you’re thinking and only verbalize it when you need to. This will give you an air of mystery.
1-3. Listen more to others.
Those who are mysterious often observe others more than they steal the spotlight. Focus on taking in your surroundings, listening to what others say, and fading into the background a bit. Not only will this make you more mysterious, but it’ll also make you a better conversationalist.
1-4. Self-edit your social media posts.
When you’re really excited or upset about something, think twice before you post it all over social media. To be mysterious, you have to limit how much you disclose about yourself in person and also online. Keep your activity on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat low key.
For example, “like” others’ posts on Facebook from time to time and post an occasional photo with a brief caption.
2. Acting Mysterious
2-1. Display confidence
Being cool and comfortable is necessary in giving off a mysterious vibe. Having an air of quiet confidence is intriguing to others, and can greatly contribute to your mysterious image because it proves that you know exactly who you are although others may not. Maintain good posture and keep your head held high so others immediately pick up on your confident attitude.
Confidence and arrogance are different; don’t be rude and brag about how great you are to everyone.
2-2. Embrace your uniqueness.
Those who are mysterious often march to the beat of their own drum, meaning they don’t just follow the crowd. Instead of wearing trendy clothes and participating in popular activities, rock your own style and embrace all things odd. This may make you appear complex and even difficult to understand to others.
2-3. Do unpredictable things.
Do things from time to time that others wouldn’t expect you to do. This will make people doubt their perception of who you are. Actions that are seemingly out of character may ignite curiosity in others and make them wonder who you are and what you’re really like.
For example, if you normally never speak up in class, answer a question that the teacher asks one day with a thoughtful, intelligent answer.
If you're being mysterious to get a guy's interest, you might say something attention-provoking to him before walking away.
2-4. Conceal your emotions.
Mysterious people are hard to read. If you’re really expressive, others will know what you’re feeling without you having to say a word. Be mindful of your facial expressions and try to keep them somewhat neutral so that people aren’t sure what you’re thinking and feeling.
For example, if you got into a big fight with your sibling or friend earlier in the day, act as if it’s just a normal, uneventful day. Avoid wearing a frown or crying in front of people you interact with throughout the day.
Try to stay calm, cool, and collected at all times.
You can also plant a quiet, almost smirking smile on your face when people are talking as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of.
3. Making Lifestyle Changes
3-1. Be less present and available.
The key to being mysterious is to keep yourself as private and unknown as possible. The easiest way to keep people from learning too much about you is to spend less time with them and talk to them less. Spend most of your free time alone and/or with people that know the real you so that you appear distant to others.
3-2. Only let a few trusted people know the real you.
Carefully choose a few different trustworthy people to completely open up to. Everyone needs at least a couple of people to be close to. Only express your fears, desires, and regrets to these people. When outsiders realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish they could be one of the special people you confide in.
For example, consider only confiding completely in your mom and your best friend of 5 years.
3-3. Focus on your hobbies.
Having multiple hobbies may make you seem more interesting and versatile to others. It may also add to your mysteriousness if it takes up a lot of free time that you would otherwise socialize during. Additionally, working on your hobbies can help you acquire a sense of pride and purpose that may help you develop a mysterious confidence.
Tips
Don't try too hard to be mysterious if it doesn’t come naturally. People should view this as part of your basic character - who you are at your core - rather than a role you're trying to play.
Stop talking in the middle of your sentence.
Warnings
Being mysterious should not equate to being rude and thoughtless about other people. While it's fine to make it clear that there are some topics you won't discuss, don't blatantly ignore people or brush off their questions.
While being mysterious can be captivating, being constantly absent-minded can be frustrating and off-putting to others. Know the difference.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating with Others\\n1-1. Speak minimally about yourself.\\nIf you’re outgoing and friendly, you might feel inclined to tell everyone your life story. However, mysterious people aren’t open books. Try to minimize the amount of things you disclose about yourself, and when you’re asked personal questions, answer them, but just with a few vague words.\\nFor example, if someone asks you about a recent breakup you went through, you might say something like, “It just didn’t work out.” This is an acceptable response, but doesn’t reveal anything private about you.\\n1-2. Think before you speak.\\nThis goes hand in hand with speaking minimally. Instead of saying every little thing that pops into your head, think about why you want to say what you’re thinking and only verbalize it when you need to. This will give you an air of mystery.\\n1-3. Listen more to others.\\nThose who are mysterious often observe others more than they steal the spotlight. Focus on taking in your surroundings, listening to what others say, and fading into the background a bit. Not only will this make you more mysterious, but it’ll also make you a better conversationalist.\\n1-4. Self-edit your social media posts.\\nWhen you’re really excited or upset about something, think twice before you post it all over social media. To be mysterious, you have to limit how much you disclose about yourself in person and also online. Keep your activity on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat low key.\\nFor example, “like” others’ posts on Facebook from time to time and post an occasional photo with a brief caption.\\n2. Acting Mysterious\\n2-1. Display confidence\\nBeing cool and comfortable is necessary in giving off a mysterious vibe. Having an air of quiet confidence is intriguing to others, and can greatly contribute to your mysterious image because it proves that you know exactly who you are although others may not. Maintain good posture and keep your head held high so others immediately pick up on your confident attitude.\\nConfidence and arrogance are different; don’t be rude and brag about how great you are to everyone.\\n2-2. Embrace your uniqueness.\\nThose who are mysterious often march to the beat of their own drum, meaning they don’t just follow the crowd. Instead of wearing trendy clothes and participating in popular activities, rock your own style and embrace all things odd. This may make you appear complex and even difficult to understand to others.\\n2-3. Do unpredictable things.\\nDo things from time to time that others wouldn’t expect you to do. This will make people doubt their perception of who you are. Actions that are seemingly out of character may ignite curiosity in others and make them wonder who you are and what you’re really like.\\nFor example, if you normally never speak up in class, answer a question that the teacher asks one day with a thoughtful, intelligent answer.\\nIf you're being mysterious to get a guy's interest, you might say something attention-provoking to him before walking away.\\n2-4. Conceal your emotions.\\nMysterious people are hard to read. If you’re really expressive, others will know what you’re feeling without you having to say a word. Be mindful of your facial expressions and try to keep them somewhat neutral so that people aren’t sure what you’re thinking and feeling.\\nFor example, if you got into a big fight with your sibling or friend earlier in the day, act as if it’s just a normal, uneventful day. Avoid wearing a frown or crying in front of people you interact with throughout the day.\\nTry to stay calm, cool, and collected at all times.\\nYou can also plant a quiet, almost smirking smile on your face when people are talking as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of.\\n3. Making Lifestyle Changes\\n3-1. Be less present and available.\\nThe key to being mysterious is to keep yourself as private and unknown as possible. The easiest way to keep people from learning too much about you is to spend less time with them and talk to them less. Spend most of your free time alone and/or with people that know the real you so that you appear distant to others.\\n3-2. Only let a few trusted people know the real you.\\nCarefully choose a few different trustworthy people to completely open up to. Everyone needs at least a couple of people to be close to. Only express your fears, desires, and regrets to these people. When outsiders realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish they could be one of the special people you confide in.\\nFor example, consider only confiding completely in your mom and your best friend of 5 years.\\n3-3. Focus on your hobbies.\\nHaving multiple hobbies may make you seem more interesting and versatile to others. It may also add to your mysteriousness if it takes up a lot of free time that you would otherwise socialize during. Additionally, working on your hobbies can help you acquire a sense of pride and purpose that may help you develop a mysterious confidence.\\nTips\\nDon't try too hard to be mysterious if it doesn’t come naturally. People should view this as part of your basic character - who you are at your core - rather than a role you're trying to play.\\nStop talking in the middle of your sentence.\\nWarnings\\nBeing mysterious should not equate to being rude and thoughtless about other people. While it's fine to make it clear that there are some topics you won't discuss, don't blatantly ignore people or brush off their questions.\\nWhile being mysterious can be captivating, being constantly absent-minded can be frustrating and off-putting to others. Know the difference.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A little bit of mystery can go a long way when building your reputation. By adjusting how you talk and act in public, you can wrap yourself in an air of secrecy that will make you seem more interesting, exciting, and attractive to the people around you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak minimally about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re outgoing and friendly, you might feel inclined to tell everyone your life story. However, mysterious people aren’t open books. Try to minimize the amount of things you disclose about yourself, and when you’re asked personal questions, answer them, but just with a few vague words.\\nFor example, if someone asks you about a recent breakup you went through, you might say something like, “It just didn’t work out.” This is an acceptable response, but doesn’t reveal anything private about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"This goes hand in hand with speaking minimally. Instead of saying every little thing that pops into your head, think about why you want to say what you’re thinking and only verbalize it when you need to. This will give you an air of mystery.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen more to others.\", \"描述\": \"Those who are mysterious often observe others more than they steal the spotlight. Focus on taking in your surroundings, listening to what others say, and fading into the background a bit. Not only will this make you more mysterious, but it’ll also make you a better conversationalist.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Self-edit your social media posts.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re really excited or upset about something, think twice before you post it all over social media. To be mysterious, you have to limit how much you disclose about yourself in person and also online. Keep your activity on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat low key.\\nFor example, “like” others’ posts on Facebook from time to time and post an occasional photo with a brief caption.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Mysterious\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Display confidence\", \"描述\": \"Being cool and comfortable is necessary in giving off a mysterious vibe. Having an air of quiet confidence is intriguing to others, and can greatly contribute to your mysterious image because it proves that you know exactly who you are although others may not. Maintain good posture and keep your head held high so others immediately pick up on your confident attitude.\\nConfidence and arrogance are different; don’t be rude and brag about how great you are to everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embrace your uniqueness.\", \"描述\": \"Those who are mysterious often march to the beat of their own drum, meaning they don’t just follow the crowd. Instead of wearing trendy clothes and participating in popular activities, rock your own style and embrace all things odd. This may make you appear complex and even difficult to understand to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do unpredictable things.\", \"描述\": \"Do things from time to time that others wouldn’t expect you to do. This will make people doubt their perception of who you are. Actions that are seemingly out of character may ignite curiosity in others and make them wonder who you are and what you’re really like.\\nFor example, if you normally never speak up in class, answer a question that the teacher asks one day with a thoughtful, intelligent answer.\\nIf you're being mysterious to get a guy's interest, you might say something attention-provoking to him before walking away.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Conceal your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Mysterious people are hard to read. If you’re really expressive, others will know what you’re feeling without you having to say a word. Be mindful of your facial expressions and try to keep them somewhat neutral so that people aren’t sure what you’re thinking and feeling.\\nFor example, if you got into a big fight with your sibling or friend earlier in the day, act as if it’s just a normal, uneventful day. Avoid wearing a frown or crying in front of people you interact with throughout the day.\\nTry to stay calm, cool, and collected at all times.\\nYou can also plant a quiet, almost smirking smile on your face when people are talking as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Lifestyle Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be less present and available.\", \"描述\": \"The key to being mysterious is to keep yourself as private and unknown as possible. The easiest way to keep people from learning too much about you is to spend less time with them and talk to them less. Spend most of your free time alone and/or with people that know the real you so that you appear distant to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Only let a few trusted people know the real you.\", \"描述\": \"Carefully choose a few different trustworthy people to completely open up to. Everyone needs at least a couple of people to be close to. Only express your fears, desires, and regrets to these people. When outsiders realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish they could be one of the special people you confide in.\\nFor example, consider only confiding completely in your mom and your best friend of 5 years.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on your hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"Having multiple hobbies may make you seem more interesting and versatile to others. It may also add to your mysteriousness if it takes up a lot of free time that you would otherwise socialize during. Additionally, working on your hobbies can help you acquire a sense of pride and purpose that may help you develop a mysterious confidence.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't try too hard to be mysterious if it doesn’t come naturally. People should view this as part of your basic character - who you are at your core - rather than a role you're trying to play.\\n\", \"Stop talking in the middle of your sentence.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being mysterious should not equate to being rude and thoughtless about other people. While it's fine to make it clear that there are some topics you won't discuss, don't blatantly ignore people or brush off their questions.\\n\", \"While being mysterious can be captivating, being constantly absent-minded can be frustrating and off-putting to others. Know the difference.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,968 | How to Be Mysterious to Attract People | 1. Cultivating a Mysterious Demeanor
1-1. Make eye contact.
Making eye contact shows that you have confidence. Also, when you make eye contact with someone, it shows that you’re interested in learning more about them. Make sure that you don’t hold eye contact for too long – about two seconds is a good length – lest you come off as creepy or intimidating.
Try establishing eye contact and then looking away, leaving the guy wondering if you were truly looking at him or not.
1-2. Be calm.
Animated people don’t leave much too the imagination because they are the center of attention. To be attractively mysterious, be calm, somewhat serious, and relatively even-keeled. Be the calm at the center of the storm, no matter how lively things are around you.
1-3. Learn a lot about a few things.
You’re mysterious and intelligent. Because you won’t be talking about yourself much, you’ll need to learn about some topics that you can talk about at length. Not only does this keep the conversation away from your personal story, it shows that you’re passionate enough about a subject to learn it.
Make sure that the topic is interesting and not polarizing. For example, presidential candidates might be interesting but they’re also polarizing. Instead, the impact of farm-produced fish on the environment is interesting and likely to not be very polarizing at all.
1-4. Ask questions.
Asking questions is an excellent way to be mysterious and attract people and serves a few purposes. It allows you to keep the conversation away from your personal details, it shows interest in another person, and, most of all, it allows people to talk about themselves. People will think you’re especially interested in them and be flattered that you wanted to hear their story.
Start off with simple questions like “where are you from originally?” or “where would you travel to if money was no object?” Listen to the answers and ask questions based on those answers, such as: “Oh, you’d like to travel to Paris? What is it about the City of Lights that you find attractive? Would you travel alone or with someone?”
If you truly want to be mysterious, try speaking less and listening more. Plant a subtle smirking smile on your face when people are talking, as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of and leave the guy wondering what's behind that smile.
1-5. Make them smile.
Just because you’re mysterious doesn’t mean that you can’t be charming. Make people smile. Smiling makes people feel good and it makes people instantly feel warmer toward the person that made them smile. Don’t be afraid to smile yourself, too. This shows a good-natured appreciation of life that is attractive to just about everyone.
You don’t have to talk to someone to make them smile. When you’re making eye contact, give the other person a little smile and watch, they’ll return the favor.
1-6. Change the topic.
Just because you’re not going to spend much time talking about yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t direct the conversation. This works because changing topics fairly frequently shows your audience that you’re not only mysterious but that you’re confident and knowledgeable about a variety of topics.
Look for natural opportunities to change topics, which will come up typically in someone else’s response to something.
This is a great time to ask a question, which will direct the conversation in another direction.
1-7. Be an alpha or a flirt.
Depending on your gender, being mysterious can be a sign that you’re an alpha male or a flirty female, two archetypes that are attractive to almost everyone. Mysterious people exude confidence, and that confidence can be interpreted differently depending on your gender. What is fairly universal, though, regardless of gender, is that mysterious people are quietly in control, but not flamboyant or attention-seeking.
This idea refers back to the psychology of attraction, which posits that attraction is physiological and psychological and that the two inform one another.
2. Ensuring You Don’t Appear Creepy
2-1. Keep some things to yourself.
When talking to someone, don’t tell them your life story. You’re not an open book. Instead, you’re mysterious and need to leave gaps in your story. That will encourage people to ask questions, think about what you’ve said, and fill in the gaps of your story with their imaginations.
A great way to approach this idea is to only answer questions that you’re asked about yourself as opposed to simply offering up information. Even when you’re answering questions, give as little information as possible while still satisfying the questioner.
If someone asks you about your weekend, make some vague reply such as "I met up with some friends and we did some things in town." If they question you further, just say nothing and smile mysteriously.
2-2. Don’t always be available.
If you’re always available, you might seem eager and you certainly won’t appear mysterious. Instead, you want to be available occasionally, although usually not, which will make your attentions almost seem like a reward.
This applies to phone calls, texts, video chats, and get-togethers. If your phone rings, let it go to voicemail. If you receive a text or direct message, don’t read it right away. If they suggest that you get together, don’t enthusiastically say yes. Check your calendar first. You’re mysterious when you’re often unavailable.
2-3. Don’t be a flashy dresser.
You don’t want to stand out in a crowd because of your flashy clothes, bright colors, or loud patterns. Instead, you want to keep your clothing somewhat modest, but still different from everyone around you. Darker colors are more mysterious.
If people around you tend to wear jeans, for example, consider wearing boot-cut jeans. If everyone wears boots, consider loafers.
3. Maintaining the Mystery
3-1. Think outside the box.
Try to be more creative and think outside the box. Your love interest is attracted to your mysterious demeanor, and creativity is a sign of a confident, mysterious person. Creativity shows that you can be playful and disciplined and that you view the world from a unique perspective. Share that uniqueness with the object of your affection to maintain the mystery.
Creativity doesn’t just mean artistic. You might not have an artistic bone in your body and that’s just fine. Be creative with your answers to people, your solutions to problems, or even how you spend time with your partner.
For example, rather than suggesting dinner and a movie, be creative and take your partner to a place they’ve never been, like a state park, for a picnic and bring a book of your favorite poems to read with them.
3-2. Be unpredictable.
Being unpredictable lends to your mysterious demeanor. This doesn’t mean that you should act out of character with your love interest or confuse them. Even worse, hurt their feelings. Being unpredictable simply means defying your own routines and patterns every now and then. This will demonstrate that there are still some secrets up your sleeve and keep it interesting.
For example, if you always grab a coffee on your way to work, decide to go for a jog instead one day.
Or, if you always wait for your love interest to call you, surprise them with a phone call.
3-3. Remember to reciprocate.
Your love interest is attracted to you and perhaps you’ve taken your relationship to another level. Remember, you can be mysterious and still reciprocate feelings and interest. People tend to feel more attracted to those who they feel are attracted to them, so reciprocate their interest in you.
For example, you can still be mysterious and bring your love interest flowers or send a simple text that says, “thinking of you.” Small gestures mean a lot, especially from a mysterious person.
Tips
Learn a lot of general knowledge or interesting, unknown facts.
Memorize lots of random facts, and employ them when that certain subject pops up in chance conversation.
Only talk when people talk to you.
Warnings
Drop your mysterious pretense a little when you finally catch the object of your affection, but don't ditch it completely. You want to keep them on their toes, always anticipating your many surprises.
Don't be too mysterious. This can lead to suspicion, a HUGE turn-off.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cultivating a Mysterious Demeanor\\n1-1. Make eye contact.\\nMaking eye contact shows that you have confidence. Also, when you make eye contact with someone, it shows that you’re interested in learning more about them. Make sure that you don’t hold eye contact for too long – about two seconds is a good length – lest you come off as creepy or intimidating.\\nTry establishing eye contact and then looking away, leaving the guy wondering if you were truly looking at him or not.\\n1-2. Be calm.\\nAnimated people don’t leave much too the imagination because they are the center of attention. To be attractively mysterious, be calm, somewhat serious, and relatively even-keeled. Be the calm at the center of the storm, no matter how lively things are around you.\\n1-3. Learn a lot about a few things.\\nYou’re mysterious and intelligent. Because you won’t be talking about yourself much, you’ll need to learn about some topics that you can talk about at length. Not only does this keep the conversation away from your personal story, it shows that you’re passionate enough about a subject to learn it.\\nMake sure that the topic is interesting and not polarizing. For example, presidential candidates might be interesting but they’re also polarizing. Instead, the impact of farm-produced fish on the environment is interesting and likely to not be very polarizing at all.\\n1-4. Ask questions.\\nAsking questions is an excellent way to be mysterious and attract people and serves a few purposes. It allows you to keep the conversation away from your personal details, it shows interest in another person, and, most of all, it allows people to talk about themselves. People will think you’re especially interested in them and be flattered that you wanted to hear their story.\\nStart off with simple questions like “where are you from originally?” or “where would you travel to if money was no object?” Listen to the answers and ask questions based on those answers, such as: “Oh, you’d like to travel to Paris? What is it about the City of Lights that you find attractive? Would you travel alone or with someone?”\\nIf you truly want to be mysterious, try speaking less and listening more. Plant a subtle smirking smile on your face when people are talking, as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of and leave the guy wondering what's behind that smile.\\n1-5. Make them smile.\\nJust because you’re mysterious doesn’t mean that you can’t be charming. Make people smile. Smiling makes people feel good and it makes people instantly feel warmer toward the person that made them smile. Don’t be afraid to smile yourself, too. This shows a good-natured appreciation of life that is attractive to just about everyone.\\nYou don’t have to talk to someone to make them smile. When you’re making eye contact, give the other person a little smile and watch, they’ll return the favor.\\n1-6. Change the topic.\\nJust because you’re not going to spend much time talking about yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t direct the conversation. This works because changing topics fairly frequently shows your audience that you’re not only mysterious but that you’re confident and knowledgeable about a variety of topics.\\nLook for natural opportunities to change topics, which will come up typically in someone else’s response to something.\\nThis is a great time to ask a question, which will direct the conversation in another direction.\\n1-7. Be an alpha or a flirt.\\nDepending on your gender, being mysterious can be a sign that you’re an alpha male or a flirty female, two archetypes that are attractive to almost everyone. Mysterious people exude confidence, and that confidence can be interpreted differently depending on your gender. What is fairly universal, though, regardless of gender, is that mysterious people are quietly in control, but not flamboyant or attention-seeking.\\nThis idea refers back to the psychology of attraction, which posits that attraction is physiological and psychological and that the two inform one another.\\n2. Ensuring You Don’t Appear Creepy\\n2-1. Keep some things to yourself.\\nWhen talking to someone, don’t tell them your life story. You’re not an open book. Instead, you’re mysterious and need to leave gaps in your story. That will encourage people to ask questions, think about what you’ve said, and fill in the gaps of your story with their imaginations.\\nA great way to approach this idea is to only answer questions that you’re asked about yourself as opposed to simply offering up information. Even when you’re answering questions, give as little information as possible while still satisfying the questioner.\\nIf someone asks you about your weekend, make some vague reply such as \\\"I met up with some friends and we did some things in town.\\\" If they question you further, just say nothing and smile mysteriously.\\n2-2. Don’t always be available.\\nIf you’re always available, you might seem eager and you certainly won’t appear mysterious. Instead, you want to be available occasionally, although usually not, which will make your attentions almost seem like a reward.\\nThis applies to phone calls, texts, video chats, and get-togethers. If your phone rings, let it go to voicemail. If you receive a text or direct message, don’t read it right away. If they suggest that you get together, don’t enthusiastically say yes. Check your calendar first. You’re mysterious when you’re often unavailable.\\n2-3. Don’t be a flashy dresser.\\nYou don’t want to stand out in a crowd because of your flashy clothes, bright colors, or loud patterns. Instead, you want to keep your clothing somewhat modest, but still different from everyone around you. Darker colors are more mysterious.\\nIf people around you tend to wear jeans, for example, consider wearing boot-cut jeans. If everyone wears boots, consider loafers.\\n3. Maintaining the Mystery\\n3-1. Think outside the box.\\nTry to be more creative and think outside the box. Your love interest is attracted to your mysterious demeanor, and creativity is a sign of a confident, mysterious person. Creativity shows that you can be playful and disciplined and that you view the world from a unique perspective. Share that uniqueness with the object of your affection to maintain the mystery.\\nCreativity doesn’t just mean artistic. You might not have an artistic bone in your body and that’s just fine. Be creative with your answers to people, your solutions to problems, or even how you spend time with your partner.\\nFor example, rather than suggesting dinner and a movie, be creative and take your partner to a place they’ve never been, like a state park, for a picnic and bring a book of your favorite poems to read with them.\\n3-2. Be unpredictable.\\nBeing unpredictable lends to your mysterious demeanor. This doesn’t mean that you should act out of character with your love interest or confuse them. Even worse, hurt their feelings. Being unpredictable simply means defying your own routines and patterns every now and then. This will demonstrate that there are still some secrets up your sleeve and keep it interesting.\\nFor example, if you always grab a coffee on your way to work, decide to go for a jog instead one day.\\nOr, if you always wait for your love interest to call you, surprise them with a phone call.\\n3-3. Remember to reciprocate.\\nYour love interest is attracted to you and perhaps you’ve taken your relationship to another level. Remember, you can be mysterious and still reciprocate feelings and interest. People tend to feel more attracted to those who they feel are attracted to them, so reciprocate their interest in you.\\nFor example, you can still be mysterious and bring your love interest flowers or send a simple text that says, “thinking of you.” Small gestures mean a lot, especially from a mysterious person.\\nTips\\nLearn a lot of general knowledge or interesting, unknown facts.\\nMemorize lots of random facts, and employ them when that certain subject pops up in chance conversation.\\nOnly talk when people talk to you.\\nWarnings\\nDrop your mysterious pretense a little when you finally catch the object of your affection, but don't ditch it completely. You want to keep them on their toes, always anticipating your many surprises.\\nDon't be too mysterious. This can lead to suspicion, a HUGE turn-off.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Mysterious people are attractive because humans are naturally curious and want to know more about them. When you allow people’s imaginations to fill in the gaps about you, they’ll be drawn in to see if their assumptions prove to be correct. You can become more mysterious by following a few simple steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivating a Mysterious Demeanor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Making eye contact shows that you have confidence. Also, when you make eye contact with someone, it shows that you’re interested in learning more about them. Make sure that you don’t hold eye contact for too long – about two seconds is a good length – lest you come off as creepy or intimidating.\\nTry establishing eye contact and then looking away, leaving the guy wondering if you were truly looking at him or not.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be calm.\", \"描述\": \"Animated people don’t leave much too the imagination because they are the center of attention. To be attractively mysterious, be calm, somewhat serious, and relatively even-keeled. Be the calm at the center of the storm, no matter how lively things are around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn a lot about a few things.\", \"描述\": \"You’re mysterious and intelligent. Because you won’t be talking about yourself much, you’ll need to learn about some topics that you can talk about at length. Not only does this keep the conversation away from your personal story, it shows that you’re passionate enough about a subject to learn it.\\nMake sure that the topic is interesting and not polarizing. For example, presidential candidates might be interesting but they’re also polarizing. Instead, the impact of farm-produced fish on the environment is interesting and likely to not be very polarizing at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Asking questions is an excellent way to be mysterious and attract people and serves a few purposes. It allows you to keep the conversation away from your personal details, it shows interest in another person, and, most of all, it allows people to talk about themselves. People will think you’re especially interested in them and be flattered that you wanted to hear their story.\\nStart off with simple questions like “where are you from originally?” or “where would you travel to if money was no object?” Listen to the answers and ask questions based on those answers, such as: “Oh, you’d like to travel to Paris? What is it about the City of Lights that you find attractive? Would you travel alone or with someone?”\\nIf you truly want to be mysterious, try speaking less and listening more. Plant a subtle smirking smile on your face when people are talking, as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of and leave the guy wondering what's behind that smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make them smile.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you’re mysterious doesn’t mean that you can’t be charming. Make people smile. Smiling makes people feel good and it makes people instantly feel warmer toward the person that made them smile. Don’t be afraid to smile yourself, too. This shows a good-natured appreciation of life that is attractive to just about everyone.\\nYou don’t have to talk to someone to make them smile. When you’re making eye contact, give the other person a little smile and watch, they’ll return the favor.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Change the topic.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you’re not going to spend much time talking about yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t direct the conversation. This works because changing topics fairly frequently shows your audience that you’re not only mysterious but that you’re confident and knowledgeable about a variety of topics.\\nLook for natural opportunities to change topics, which will come up typically in someone else’s response to something.\\nThis is a great time to ask a question, which will direct the conversation in another direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be an alpha or a flirt.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on your gender, being mysterious can be a sign that you’re an alpha male or a flirty female, two archetypes that are attractive to almost everyone. Mysterious people exude confidence, and that confidence can be interpreted differently depending on your gender. What is fairly universal, though, regardless of gender, is that mysterious people are quietly in control, but not flamboyant or attention-seeking.\\nThis idea refers back to the psychology of attraction, which posits that attraction is physiological and psychological and that the two inform one another.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ensuring You Don’t Appear Creepy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep some things to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When talking to someone, don’t tell them your life story. You’re not an open book. Instead, you’re mysterious and need to leave gaps in your story. That will encourage people to ask questions, think about what you’ve said, and fill in the gaps of your story with their imaginations.\\nA great way to approach this idea is to only answer questions that you’re asked about yourself as opposed to simply offering up information. Even when you’re answering questions, give as little information as possible while still satisfying the questioner.\\nIf someone asks you about your weekend, make some vague reply such as \\\"I met up with some friends and we did some things in town.\\\" If they question you further, just say nothing and smile mysteriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t always be available.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re always available, you might seem eager and you certainly won’t appear mysterious. Instead, you want to be available occasionally, although usually not, which will make your attentions almost seem like a reward.\\nThis applies to phone calls, texts, video chats, and get-togethers. If your phone rings, let it go to voicemail. If you receive a text or direct message, don’t read it right away. If they suggest that you get together, don’t enthusiastically say yes. Check your calendar first. You’re mysterious when you’re often unavailable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t be a flashy dresser.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to stand out in a crowd because of your flashy clothes, bright colors, or loud patterns. Instead, you want to keep your clothing somewhat modest, but still different from everyone around you. Darker colors are more mysterious.\\nIf people around you tend to wear jeans, for example, consider wearing boot-cut jeans. If everyone wears boots, consider loafers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining the Mystery\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think outside the box.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be more creative and think outside the box. Your love interest is attracted to your mysterious demeanor, and creativity is a sign of a confident, mysterious person. Creativity shows that you can be playful and disciplined and that you view the world from a unique perspective. Share that uniqueness with the object of your affection to maintain the mystery.\\nCreativity doesn’t just mean artistic. You might not have an artistic bone in your body and that’s just fine. Be creative with your answers to people, your solutions to problems, or even how you spend time with your partner.\\nFor example, rather than suggesting dinner and a movie, be creative and take your partner to a place they’ve never been, like a state park, for a picnic and bring a book of your favorite poems to read with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be unpredictable.\", \"描述\": \"Being unpredictable lends to your mysterious demeanor. This doesn’t mean that you should act out of character with your love interest or confuse them. Even worse, hurt their feelings. Being unpredictable simply means defying your own routines and patterns every now and then. This will demonstrate that there are still some secrets up your sleeve and keep it interesting.\\nFor example, if you always grab a coffee on your way to work, decide to go for a jog instead one day.\\nOr, if you always wait for your love interest to call you, surprise them with a phone call.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember to reciprocate.\", \"描述\": \"Your love interest is attracted to you and perhaps you’ve taken your relationship to another level. Remember, you can be mysterious and still reciprocate feelings and interest. People tend to feel more attracted to those who they feel are attracted to them, so reciprocate their interest in you.\\nFor example, you can still be mysterious and bring your love interest flowers or send a simple text that says, “thinking of you.” Small gestures mean a lot, especially from a mysterious person.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn a lot of general knowledge or interesting, unknown facts.\\n\", \"Memorize lots of random facts, and employ them when that certain subject pops up in chance conversation.\\n\", \"Only talk when people talk to you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Drop your mysterious pretense a little when you finally catch the object of your affection, but don't ditch it completely. You want to keep them on their toes, always anticipating your many surprises.\\n\", \"Don't be too mysterious. This can lead to suspicion, a HUGE turn-off.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,969 | How to Be Mysterious to a Guy | 1. Appearing Mysterious to a Guy
1-1. Have self-confidence.
Having a strong sense of yourself, being secure and sincere in your interactions with others may not always be easy, but it is a very attractive quality. Self-confidence gives the impression that you are happy with yourself and do not need others to validate you.
Confidence is often communicated non-verbally. Stand up tall with your shoulders pulled back, don't slouch or bow your head.
Speak slowly and clearly. Speaking too quickly can indicate a lack of authority. Speaking slowly adds gravitas to what you say, making people think what you have to say is important.
1-2. Make eye contact.
Catching his eye for just a few seconds is a great way to signal that you are interested in him. The key is to spark his curiosity without giving too much away.
Remember to keep it subtle, staring at someone is not mysterious.
The eyes are the most expressive part of the face. Be aware of the micro-expressions you make with your eyes, including sarcastic eye-rolling or scrunching up your eyes in disgust. Keep these to a minimum and you will appear mysterious and unreadable.
1-3. Watch your body language.
Maintain neutral, relaxed body language where possible. The goal is not to be completely expressionless and aloof, but to appear calm and self-possessed so that you leave people wanting to know more about your hidden depths.
Arms and hands are important. Avoid fidgeting with your hands, which can convey anxiety, instead place them in a neutral, comfortable position.
For example, if you are sitting, gently hold your hands in your lap. If standing, let your hands rest comfortably at your side.
Don't be completely closed off, you will appear aloof rather than invitingly mysterious. For example, folding your arms, crossing your legs and turning your torso away from someone indicates that do not want to engage with them.
1-4. Hold back sometimes.
A key way to create mystery is to hold back a little when it comes to social events. Try to strike a balance between creating meaningful relationships and being present, but avoiding becoming so familiar that your presence is appreciated less.
Accept invitations when you want to, so that people can get to know you and enjoy your presence, but say no to a few as well. Give him a chance to miss you.
Leave a party early. Be as fun as possible while you are there but leave early. Make it seem as if you have somewhere important to be, but don't reveal the details.
Don't document everything on social media. Social media can be a fun and a great way to interact with people, but keeping certain things private will create a sense of mystery about you.
1-5. Don't offer unnecessary explanation.
When talking, don't give an excess of details or go off on a lengthy diversion. The trick to appearing mysterious is to give them just enough information that they want to know more!
Give short, direct answers to questions but do not offer much detail. For example, when someone asks, "Are you from around here?" Answer simply, "No, I'm not."
Answer in a friendly tone to intrigue them and invite more questions rather than appearing rude and abrupt.
If you’re in a group don’t engage so much in the conversation, but rather stand there with a mysterious smile on your face.
1-6. Ask the other person questions about themselves.
People generally enjoy talking about themselves and feeling like the other person is truly listening to them. This is a great way to get to know him while maintaining your own aura of mystery.
2. Being Unpredictable and Cultivating Mystery
2-1. Be open to adventures and new experiences.
A certain amount of unpredictability is a fantastic way to cultivate mystery. Although being unpredictable can be negative at times, for example, if you are unreliable or flaky; spontaneous people, who are unpredictable in a positive way, are often intriguing and alluring.
Start a dance party at an unlikely moment. It might feel silly at first but the more you do it the more comfortable you will feel.
Go to a restaurant and order the craziest thing on the menu.
Encourage others to join you in your spontaneous actions. Perhaps you will have a positive effect on them. At least they won't be bored!
2-2. Confound his expectations of you.
Getting to know someone gives you an awareness of their habits and routines. While there is comfort in this, after a while it can make them appear boring and familiar, which is the opposite of mysterious. Mix it up every once in a while to keep him guessing about you.
Suggest an activity he wouldn't think you'd enjoy. If you always appear professional and corporate, suggest rock climbing or go-karting. Show your playful side.
2-3. Make an unlikely quip or comment.
This is particularly effective if you have been holding back and appearing mysterious in other forms of communication. A well-timed, witty aside shows people you have a sense of humor and they'll want to know more!
Try to see the humor in unfortunate or absurd situations. Don't be offensive.
Recognize that laughing is often a good way to deal with uncomfortable emotions.
3. Maintaining the Mystery While Dating
3-1. Ditch the schedule.
When we settle into relationships, often we become comfortable and establish a routine. This is part of a healthy relationship, but sometimes the mystery can slip away and you don't feel that sense of excitement we once did. There are benefits to stepping outside your comfort zone every once in a while, you'll cultivate mystery in your relationship and re-ignite that spark of curiosity.
For example, turn off the TV and go out on a date. Pick something new that neither of you have tried before.
Start a new hobby, find something that you both enjoy.
3-2. Surprise each other.
Catch your partner off guard by doing something unexpected for them. Mix up the typical roles in your relationship.
For example, if your partner has always asked you to go to drawing classes with them but you've always said no, say yes!
Buy them a gift for no reason. You don't have to spend money, you can make something for them.
3-3. Keep some things private.
The key is to balance feeling comfortable, secure and familiar with someone, whilst also keeping a sense of novelty and mystery in your relationship.
For some people, keeping bodily functions and bathroom matters private is important. Consider how you feel about this, every relationship is different.
3-4. Spend some time apart.
Relationship experts agree that it is healthy for a relationship and helps maintain that vital sense of mystery.
Remember that you are two separate people with different interests and you don't need to do everything together.
Warnings
Don't go over-the-top. Too much mystery can turn people off. You want to appear mysterious, yet friendly, not aloof.
Introducing a little bit of mystery can be a great thing, but don't play games. Ultimately a happy relationship depends on you being yourself with the other person.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Appearing Mysterious to a Guy\\n1-1. Have self-confidence.\\nHaving a strong sense of yourself, being secure and sincere in your interactions with others may not always be easy, but it is a very attractive quality. Self-confidence gives the impression that you are happy with yourself and do not need others to validate you.\\nConfidence is often communicated non-verbally. Stand up tall with your shoulders pulled back, don't slouch or bow your head. \\nSpeak slowly and clearly. Speaking too quickly can indicate a lack of authority. Speaking slowly adds gravitas to what you say, making people think what you have to say is important.\\n1-2. Make eye contact.\\nCatching his eye for just a few seconds is a great way to signal that you are interested in him. The key is to spark his curiosity without giving too much away.\\nRemember to keep it subtle, staring at someone is not mysterious.\\nThe eyes are the most expressive part of the face. Be aware of the micro-expressions you make with your eyes, including sarcastic eye-rolling or scrunching up your eyes in disgust. Keep these to a minimum and you will appear mysterious and unreadable.\\n1-3. Watch your body language.\\nMaintain neutral, relaxed body language where possible. The goal is not to be completely expressionless and aloof, but to appear calm and self-possessed so that you leave people wanting to know more about your hidden depths.\\nArms and hands are important. Avoid fidgeting with your hands, which can convey anxiety, instead place them in a neutral, comfortable position.\\nFor example, if you are sitting, gently hold your hands in your lap. If standing, let your hands rest comfortably at your side.\\nDon't be completely closed off, you will appear aloof rather than invitingly mysterious. For example, folding your arms, crossing your legs and turning your torso away from someone indicates that do not want to engage with them.\\n1-4. Hold back sometimes.\\nA key way to create mystery is to hold back a little when it comes to social events. Try to strike a balance between creating meaningful relationships and being present, but avoiding becoming so familiar that your presence is appreciated less.\\nAccept invitations when you want to, so that people can get to know you and enjoy your presence, but say no to a few as well. Give him a chance to miss you.\\nLeave a party early. Be as fun as possible while you are there but leave early. Make it seem as if you have somewhere important to be, but don't reveal the details.\\nDon't document everything on social media. Social media can be a fun and a great way to interact with people, but keeping certain things private will create a sense of mystery about you.\\n1-5. Don't offer unnecessary explanation.\\nWhen talking, don't give an excess of details or go off on a lengthy diversion. The trick to appearing mysterious is to give them just enough information that they want to know more!\\nGive short, direct answers to questions but do not offer much detail. For example, when someone asks, \\\"Are you from around here?\\\" Answer simply, \\\"No, I'm not.\\\"\\nAnswer in a friendly tone to intrigue them and invite more questions rather than appearing rude and abrupt.\\nIf you’re in a group don’t engage so much in the conversation, but rather stand there with a mysterious smile on your face.\\n1-6. Ask the other person questions about themselves.\\nPeople generally enjoy talking about themselves and feeling like the other person is truly listening to them. This is a great way to get to know him while maintaining your own aura of mystery.\\n2. Being Unpredictable and Cultivating Mystery\\n2-1. Be open to adventures and new experiences.\\nA certain amount of unpredictability is a fantastic way to cultivate mystery. Although being unpredictable can be negative at times, for example, if you are unreliable or flaky; spontaneous people, who are unpredictable in a positive way, are often intriguing and alluring.\\nStart a dance party at an unlikely moment. It might feel silly at first but the more you do it the more comfortable you will feel.\\nGo to a restaurant and order the craziest thing on the menu.\\nEncourage others to join you in your spontaneous actions. Perhaps you will have a positive effect on them. At least they won't be bored!\\n2-2. Confound his expectations of you.\\nGetting to know someone gives you an awareness of their habits and routines. While there is comfort in this, after a while it can make them appear boring and familiar, which is the opposite of mysterious. Mix it up every once in a while to keep him guessing about you.\\nSuggest an activity he wouldn't think you'd enjoy. If you always appear professional and corporate, suggest rock climbing or go-karting. Show your playful side.\\n2-3. Make an unlikely quip or comment.\\nThis is particularly effective if you have been holding back and appearing mysterious in other forms of communication. A well-timed, witty aside shows people you have a sense of humor and they'll want to know more!\\nTry to see the humor in unfortunate or absurd situations. Don't be offensive.\\nRecognize that laughing is often a good way to deal with uncomfortable emotions.\\n3. Maintaining the Mystery While Dating\\n3-1. Ditch the schedule.\\nWhen we settle into relationships, often we become comfortable and establish a routine. This is part of a healthy relationship, but sometimes the mystery can slip away and you don't feel that sense of excitement we once did. There are benefits to stepping outside your comfort zone every once in a while, you'll cultivate mystery in your relationship and re-ignite that spark of curiosity.\\nFor example, turn off the TV and go out on a date. Pick something new that neither of you have tried before.\\nStart a new hobby, find something that you both enjoy.\\n3-2. Surprise each other.\\nCatch your partner off guard by doing something unexpected for them. Mix up the typical roles in your relationship.\\nFor example, if your partner has always asked you to go to drawing classes with them but you've always said no, say yes!\\nBuy them a gift for no reason. You don't have to spend money, you can make something for them.\\n3-3. Keep some things private.\\nThe key is to balance feeling comfortable, secure and familiar with someone, whilst also keeping a sense of novelty and mystery in your relationship.\\nFor some people, keeping bodily functions and bathroom matters private is important. Consider how you feel about this, every relationship is different.\\n3-4. Spend some time apart.\\nRelationship experts agree that it is healthy for a relationship and helps maintain that vital sense of mystery.\\nRemember that you are two separate people with different interests and you don't need to do everything together.\\nWarnings\\nDon't go over-the-top. Too much mystery can turn people off. You want to appear mysterious, yet friendly, not aloof.\\nIntroducing a little bit of mystery can be a great thing, but don't play games. Ultimately a happy relationship depends on you being yourself with the other person.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There's nothing more attractive than being mysterious. It engages the other person's curiosity and entices them to learn more about you. Find out how to appear mysterious to a guy, and how to cultivate and maintain mystery in a relationship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appearing Mysterious to a Guy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have self-confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Having a strong sense of yourself, being secure and sincere in your interactions with others may not always be easy, but it is a very attractive quality. Self-confidence gives the impression that you are happy with yourself and do not need others to validate you.\\nConfidence is often communicated non-verbally. Stand up tall with your shoulders pulled back, don't slouch or bow your head. \\nSpeak slowly and clearly. Speaking too quickly can indicate a lack of authority. Speaking slowly adds gravitas to what you say, making people think what you have to say is important.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Catching his eye for just a few seconds is a great way to signal that you are interested in him. The key is to spark his curiosity without giving too much away.\\nRemember to keep it subtle, staring at someone is not mysterious.\\nThe eyes are the most expressive part of the face. Be aware of the micro-expressions you make with your eyes, including sarcastic eye-rolling or scrunching up your eyes in disgust. Keep these to a minimum and you will appear mysterious and unreadable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Maintain neutral, relaxed body language where possible. The goal is not to be completely expressionless and aloof, but to appear calm and self-possessed so that you leave people wanting to know more about your hidden depths.\\nArms and hands are important. Avoid fidgeting with your hands, which can convey anxiety, instead place them in a neutral, comfortable position.\\nFor example, if you are sitting, gently hold your hands in your lap. If standing, let your hands rest comfortably at your side.\\nDon't be completely closed off, you will appear aloof rather than invitingly mysterious. For example, folding your arms, crossing your legs and turning your torso away from someone indicates that do not want to engage with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold back sometimes.\", \"描述\": \"A key way to create mystery is to hold back a little when it comes to social events. Try to strike a balance between creating meaningful relationships and being present, but avoiding becoming so familiar that your presence is appreciated less.\\nAccept invitations when you want to, so that people can get to know you and enjoy your presence, but say no to a few as well. Give him a chance to miss you.\\nLeave a party early. Be as fun as possible while you are there but leave early. Make it seem as if you have somewhere important to be, but don't reveal the details.\\nDon't document everything on social media. Social media can be a fun and a great way to interact with people, but keeping certain things private will create a sense of mystery about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't offer unnecessary explanation.\", \"描述\": \"When talking, don't give an excess of details or go off on a lengthy diversion. The trick to appearing mysterious is to give them just enough information that they want to know more!\\nGive short, direct answers to questions but do not offer much detail. For example, when someone asks, \\\"Are you from around here?\\\" Answer simply, \\\"No, I'm not.\\\"\\nAnswer in a friendly tone to intrigue them and invite more questions rather than appearing rude and abrupt.\\nIf you’re in a group don’t engage so much in the conversation, but rather stand there with a mysterious smile on your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask the other person questions about themselves.\", \"描述\": \"People generally enjoy talking about themselves and feeling like the other person is truly listening to them. This is a great way to get to know him while maintaining your own aura of mystery.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Unpredictable and Cultivating Mystery\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open to adventures and new experiences.\", \"描述\": \"A certain amount of unpredictability is a fantastic way to cultivate mystery. Although being unpredictable can be negative at times, for example, if you are unreliable or flaky; spontaneous people, who are unpredictable in a positive way, are often intriguing and alluring.\\nStart a dance party at an unlikely moment. It might feel silly at first but the more you do it the more comfortable you will feel.\\nGo to a restaurant and order the craziest thing on the menu.\\nEncourage others to join you in your spontaneous actions. Perhaps you will have a positive effect on them. At least they won't be bored!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Confound his expectations of you.\", \"描述\": \"Getting to know someone gives you an awareness of their habits and routines. While there is comfort in this, after a while it can make them appear boring and familiar, which is the opposite of mysterious. Mix it up every once in a while to keep him guessing about you.\\nSuggest an activity he wouldn't think you'd enjoy. If you always appear professional and corporate, suggest rock climbing or go-karting. Show your playful side.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make an unlikely quip or comment.\", \"描述\": \"This is particularly effective if you have been holding back and appearing mysterious in other forms of communication. A well-timed, witty aside shows people you have a sense of humor and they'll want to know more!\\nTry to see the humor in unfortunate or absurd situations. Don't be offensive.\\nRecognize that laughing is often a good way to deal with uncomfortable emotions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining the Mystery While Dating\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ditch the schedule.\", \"描述\": \"When we settle into relationships, often we become comfortable and establish a routine. This is part of a healthy relationship, but sometimes the mystery can slip away and you don't feel that sense of excitement we once did. There are benefits to stepping outside your comfort zone every once in a while, you'll cultivate mystery in your relationship and re-ignite that spark of curiosity.\\nFor example, turn off the TV and go out on a date. Pick something new that neither of you have tried before.\\nStart a new hobby, find something that you both enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Surprise each other.\", \"描述\": \"Catch your partner off guard by doing something unexpected for them. Mix up the typical roles in your relationship.\\nFor example, if your partner has always asked you to go to drawing classes with them but you've always said no, say yes!\\nBuy them a gift for no reason. You don't have to spend money, you can make something for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep some things private.\", \"描述\": \"The key is to balance feeling comfortable, secure and familiar with someone, whilst also keeping a sense of novelty and mystery in your relationship.\\nFor some people, keeping bodily functions and bathroom matters private is important. Consider how you feel about this, every relationship is different.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend some time apart.\", \"描述\": \"Relationship experts agree that it is healthy for a relationship and helps maintain that vital sense of mystery.\\nRemember that you are two separate people with different interests and you don't need to do everything together.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't go over-the-top. Too much mystery can turn people off. You want to appear mysterious, yet friendly, not aloof.\\n\", \"Introducing a little bit of mystery can be a great thing, but don't play games. Ultimately a happy relationship depends on you being yourself with the other person.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,970 | How to Be Naked More Often While Living With Family | 1. Finding Opportunities to Go Naked
1-1. Sleep naked.
Start sleeping in the nude. It’s not as unusual as it may sound—many people prefer feeling unrestrained when they go to bed at night. If you share a room with someone else, be considerate before you simply bare it all. You may have to have a talk with your roommate about your preferred sleeping arrangement to find out if they would have an issue with you being naked in the same room.
Sleeping naked can keep you cooler and make you more relaxed as you’re drifting off to sleep.
1-2. Strip down when no one is home.
Take advantage of an empty house by shedding your clothes when you’re the only one home. You can prance around in the buff all you want without having to worry about offending anyone. Just make sure you know when everyone is expected back to prevent any awkward surprises.
You could also wait until everyone else is asleep to get loose of your garments.
Avoid open windows while you’re naked at home. There’s a big difference between going natural and giving the neighbors a show.
1-3. Make your room a “no clothes” zone.
If you have your own room, make it known that you prefer to go naked when you’re alone. You might put up a sign announcing that if you’re in your room with the door closed, you’re probably not wearing any clothes. You could also simply inform your family members about your choice to go nude and request that they knock before barging in.
Depending on your family’s own privacy rules, you could always just lock the door when you need to let your body breathe.
Have some clothes nearby that are easy to slip in and out of in case you need to go back and forth from your room frequently.
1-4. Make sure those around you are comfortable with you being naked.
Assuming you’re not the shy type and don’t mind your loved ones seeing you at your most vulnerable, take small steps toward gaining your family's permission to go without clothes. Ask the people you live with how they would feel about casual nudity before trying it out to avoid creating an awkward environment. If they’re agreeable to the idea, you can appear naked more often, little by little, until it just becomes a fact of your household.
Breach the topic by asking an earnest question like "would it bother you if I wore fewer clothes around the house?" By being straightforward, your family will understand that you're showing consideration for their feelings.
If someone around you seems put off or makes a critical comment about your nudity, it may be best to go clothed around them from then on.
2. Enjoying Nudity Without Offending Your Family
2-1. Let them know when you’re naked.
Make your family aware of your nudist tendencies by warning them when there’s a chance they might see more of you than expected. If someone knocks on your door or tries to come in to talk to you, for example, tell them flat out that you’re not wearing clothes, and that they should enter at their own risk. Choosing to come in anyway shows that they don’t mind, and even if they do, you’ll still get to enjoy being naked privately.
After a while of going naked in your own private space, it will start to seem less unusual to your family.
Try not to catch your loved ones off guard. It could be traumatizing for some to see a parent, child or sibling naked.
2-2. Start wearing fewer clothes.
The best way to prepare your family for seeing you naked after getting permission is to work your way up to it. Try lounging around in your underwear or a more revealing outfit than you normally wear. When you get out of the shower, tie a towel around your body and linger for a minute in the kitchen or living room where you’ll be seen. Once they get over their initial squeamishness, it won’t be a big deal for them to accept that you prefer to be naked at home.
Don’t go from wearing clothes to walking around naked overnight. Begin wearing less and less over time so that the transition isn’t so jarring.
2-3. Be judicious about exposing yourself.
Once everyone has come to terms with your new behavior, it may be okay to reveal yourself briefly out in the open. Stroll by the family room with no fear, or creep down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night while you’re not wearing any clothes. This may come as a surprise the first few times if your loved ones aren’t used to it yet, but as long as you've made sure they're okay with your actions, they'll start to get used to it.
Never blatantly parade your nudity in front of your family, or do it just to be seen.
2-4. Joke about your choice to go naked.
Bring up the fact that you’ve been going naked regularly as a source of humor. It will help alleviate the awkwardness and tension that a relative might be feeling if they’re persuaded to view it as something quirky or funny. Most topics lose their taboo aura when you can laugh at them.
Treating your nudity as a joking matter can give you a chance to bring up the subject in a way that doesn’t feel weird.
3. Respecting Your Family's Comfort and Decency
3-1. Be open about your behavior.
Talk to your family directly about why you feel more comfortable when you’re naked. Make it known that you don’t take issue with the ways that they choose to unwind, and that they should at least be considerate of yours. They may not understand at first, but you can help put them at ease with your decision by being direct.
Explain that being naked is a healthy way of expressing appreciation for your body.
Be ready for your family members to disagree with your philosophy. Not everyone feels the same way about being naked around others.
3-2. Emphasize that nudity is natural.
Pacify whatever protests may arise by sharing your belief that going nude is freeing. There’s nothing inherently dirty or immoral about being naked. And, since you’re family, you should already be used to seeing one another at your least presentable. Getting used to various levels of nudity around your family members might even make you feel closer.
If you don’t treat nudity as an ugly, profane thing, there won’t be any reason to feel shame when you or a loved one isn’t wearing clothes.
3-3. Work out an agreement.
Your family might be accepting of your habit, but there may be certain times when they feel it’s inappropriate. Compromise by coming up with a set of conditions about when, where and around whom it’s acceptable to be naked. It might be okay if it’s just you at home, or if you keep it confined to your bedroom and bathroom. However, you should plan on putting something on when the grandparents come to visit or your parents are hosting a dinner party.
You should always make sure there are boundaries in place, even when it’s just your family around. Remember, you’re not the only person living in the house.
3-4. Know when to cover up.
Despite your insistence, your family simply might not like the idea of you walking around naked. Be conscientious and respect their wishes. You can still go naked when you’re alone, but you shouldn’t force anyone else to witness it. There’s a time and place for everything—it just may not be under a shared roof.
The people around you have just as much of a right not to have to see you naked as you do to actually be that way.
3-5. Go outside naked, if it is okay to your family.
If you really want to become a nudist/naturalist if the time to step out your comfort zone! Just remember to stay in your private area, like your yard; if you don’t want to be seen from your neighbors add trees or higher fences. If you have a little wood, you can have a walk there! Have skinny dipping in your pool also, if you want.
Read the our article How to Go Outside Naked for more ideas and information.
{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/50\/Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/50\/Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\/aid1009363-v4-728px-Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
Tips
Always have something you can throw on quickly in case of an emergency
Be confident in your body and your choice to go nude. If you act like you're ashamed, it will make it seem like you're doing something wrong.
Reassure your family that you're naked because it's more comfortable, not because you're trying to get noticed or make a statement.
Warnings
Make sure no one has company over before you risk being seen in the nude.
It is quite normal for both boys and girls in their early adolescence to go naked, and some people might even find it cute. As you get older and near puberty, however, it may be interpreted as indecent, rude or vulgar.
The desire to be naked at home may clash with your family's values. You should be certain that no one takes offense before acting like an exhibitionist.
The other members of your household have a right to be comfortable as well, and this might mean that they don't want to see you without clothes on. If this is the case, save your nakedness for your own private space.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Opportunities to Go Naked\\n1-1. Sleep naked.\\nStart sleeping in the nude. It’s not as unusual as it may sound—many people prefer feeling unrestrained when they go to bed at night. If you share a room with someone else, be considerate before you simply bare it all. You may have to have a talk with your roommate about your preferred sleeping arrangement to find out if they would have an issue with you being naked in the same room.\\nSleeping naked can keep you cooler and make you more relaxed as you’re drifting off to sleep.\\n1-2. Strip down when no one is home.\\nTake advantage of an empty house by shedding your clothes when you’re the only one home. You can prance around in the buff all you want without having to worry about offending anyone. Just make sure you know when everyone is expected back to prevent any awkward surprises.\\nYou could also wait until everyone else is asleep to get loose of your garments.\\nAvoid open windows while you’re naked at home. There’s a big difference between going natural and giving the neighbors a show.\\n1-3. Make your room a “no clothes” zone.\\nIf you have your own room, make it known that you prefer to go naked when you’re alone. You might put up a sign announcing that if you’re in your room with the door closed, you’re probably not wearing any clothes. You could also simply inform your family members about your choice to go nude and request that they knock before barging in.\\nDepending on your family’s own privacy rules, you could always just lock the door when you need to let your body breathe.\\nHave some clothes nearby that are easy to slip in and out of in case you need to go back and forth from your room frequently.\\n1-4. Make sure those around you are comfortable with you being naked.\\nAssuming you’re not the shy type and don’t mind your loved ones seeing you at your most vulnerable, take small steps toward gaining your family's permission to go without clothes. Ask the people you live with how they would feel about casual nudity before trying it out to avoid creating an awkward environment. If they’re agreeable to the idea, you can appear naked more often, little by little, until it just becomes a fact of your household.\\nBreach the topic by asking an earnest question like \\\"would it bother you if I wore fewer clothes around the house?\\\" By being straightforward, your family will understand that you're showing consideration for their feelings.\\nIf someone around you seems put off or makes a critical comment about your nudity, it may be best to go clothed around them from then on.\\n2. Enjoying Nudity Without Offending Your Family\\n2-1. Let them know when you’re naked.\\nMake your family aware of your nudist tendencies by warning them when there’s a chance they might see more of you than expected. If someone knocks on your door or tries to come in to talk to you, for example, tell them flat out that you’re not wearing clothes, and that they should enter at their own risk. Choosing to come in anyway shows that they don’t mind, and even if they do, you’ll still get to enjoy being naked privately.\\nAfter a while of going naked in your own private space, it will start to seem less unusual to your family.\\nTry not to catch your loved ones off guard. It could be traumatizing for some to see a parent, child or sibling naked.\\n2-2. Start wearing fewer clothes.\\nThe best way to prepare your family for seeing you naked after getting permission is to work your way up to it. Try lounging around in your underwear or a more revealing outfit than you normally wear. When you get out of the shower, tie a towel around your body and linger for a minute in the kitchen or living room where you’ll be seen. Once they get over their initial squeamishness, it won’t be a big deal for them to accept that you prefer to be naked at home.\\nDon’t go from wearing clothes to walking around naked overnight. Begin wearing less and less over time so that the transition isn’t so jarring.\\n2-3. Be judicious about exposing yourself.\\nOnce everyone has come to terms with your new behavior, it may be okay to reveal yourself briefly out in the open. Stroll by the family room with no fear, or creep down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night while you’re not wearing any clothes. This may come as a surprise the first few times if your loved ones aren’t used to it yet, but as long as you've made sure they're okay with your actions, they'll start to get used to it.\\nNever blatantly parade your nudity in front of your family, or do it just to be seen.\\n2-4. Joke about your choice to go naked.\\nBring up the fact that you’ve been going naked regularly as a source of humor. It will help alleviate the awkwardness and tension that a relative might be feeling if they’re persuaded to view it as something quirky or funny. Most topics lose their taboo aura when you can laugh at them.\\nTreating your nudity as a joking matter can give you a chance to bring up the subject in a way that doesn’t feel weird.\\n3. Respecting Your Family's Comfort and Decency\\n3-1. Be open about your behavior.\\nTalk to your family directly about why you feel more comfortable when you’re naked. Make it known that you don’t take issue with the ways that they choose to unwind, and that they should at least be considerate of yours. They may not understand at first, but you can help put them at ease with your decision by being direct.\\nExplain that being naked is a healthy way of expressing appreciation for your body.\\nBe ready for your family members to disagree with your philosophy. Not everyone feels the same way about being naked around others.\\n3-2. Emphasize that nudity is natural.\\nPacify whatever protests may arise by sharing your belief that going nude is freeing. There’s nothing inherently dirty or immoral about being naked. And, since you’re family, you should already be used to seeing one another at your least presentable. Getting used to various levels of nudity around your family members might even make you feel closer.\\nIf you don’t treat nudity as an ugly, profane thing, there won’t be any reason to feel shame when you or a loved one isn’t wearing clothes.\\n3-3. Work out an agreement.\\nYour family might be accepting of your habit, but there may be certain times when they feel it’s inappropriate. Compromise by coming up with a set of conditions about when, where and around whom it’s acceptable to be naked. It might be okay if it’s just you at home, or if you keep it confined to your bedroom and bathroom. However, you should plan on putting something on when the grandparents come to visit or your parents are hosting a dinner party.\\nYou should always make sure there are boundaries in place, even when it’s just your family around. Remember, you’re not the only person living in the house.\\n3-4. Know when to cover up.\\nDespite your insistence, your family simply might not like the idea of you walking around naked. Be conscientious and respect their wishes. You can still go naked when you’re alone, but you shouldn’t force anyone else to witness it. There’s a time and place for everything—it just may not be under a shared roof.\\nThe people around you have just as much of a right not to have to see you naked as you do to actually be that way.\\n3-5. Go outside naked, if it is okay to your family.\\nIf you really want to become a nudist/naturalist if the time to step out your comfort zone! Just remember to stay in your private area, like your yard; if you don’t want to be seen from your neighbors add trees or higher fences. If you have a little wood, you can have a walk there! Have skinny dipping in your pool also, if you want.\\nRead the our article How to Go Outside Naked for more ideas and information. \\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/50\\\\/Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/50\\\\/Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\\/aid1009363-v4-728px-Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nTips\\nAlways have something you can throw on quickly in case of an emergency\\nBe confident in your body and your choice to go nude. If you act like you're ashamed, it will make it seem like you're doing something wrong.\\nReassure your family that you're naked because it's more comfortable, not because you're trying to get noticed or make a statement.\\nWarnings\\nMake sure no one has company over before you risk being seen in the nude.\\nIt is quite normal for both boys and girls in their early adolescence to go naked, and some people might even find it cute. As you get older and near puberty, however, it may be interpreted as indecent, rude or vulgar.\\nThe desire to be naked at home may clash with your family's values. You should be certain that no one takes offense before acting like an exhibitionist.\\nThe other members of your household have a right to be comfortable as well, and this might mean that they don't want to see you without clothes on. If this is the case, save your nakedness for your own private space.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone wants to be comfortable in their own skin. Some people are so comfortable in it, in fact, that they don’t want to cover up! Going nude is totally natural and is even associated with certain health benefits, but it can be difficult to explain your exhibitionist behavior when you’re sharing your living space with other family members. If you’re thinking about modeling your birthday suit more often, you should first make sure that the people around you are comfortable with it. After that, you can find ways to free yourself while still maintaining your privacy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Opportunities to Go Naked\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sleep naked.\", \"描述\": \"Start sleeping in the nude. It’s not as unusual as it may sound—many people prefer feeling unrestrained when they go to bed at night. If you share a room with someone else, be considerate before you simply bare it all. You may have to have a talk with your roommate about your preferred sleeping arrangement to find out if they would have an issue with you being naked in the same room.\\nSleeping naked can keep you cooler and make you more relaxed as you’re drifting off to sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strip down when no one is home.\", \"描述\": \"Take advantage of an empty house by shedding your clothes when you’re the only one home. You can prance around in the buff all you want without having to worry about offending anyone. Just make sure you know when everyone is expected back to prevent any awkward surprises.\\nYou could also wait until everyone else is asleep to get loose of your garments.\\nAvoid open windows while you’re naked at home. There’s a big difference between going natural and giving the neighbors a show.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make your room a “no clothes” zone.\", \"描述\": \"If you have your own room, make it known that you prefer to go naked when you’re alone. You might put up a sign announcing that if you’re in your room with the door closed, you’re probably not wearing any clothes. You could also simply inform your family members about your choice to go nude and request that they knock before barging in.\\nDepending on your family’s own privacy rules, you could always just lock the door when you need to let your body breathe.\\nHave some clothes nearby that are easy to slip in and out of in case you need to go back and forth from your room frequently.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure those around you are comfortable with you being naked.\", \"描述\": \"Assuming you’re not the shy type and don’t mind your loved ones seeing you at your most vulnerable, take small steps toward gaining your family's permission to go without clothes. Ask the people you live with how they would feel about casual nudity before trying it out to avoid creating an awkward environment. If they’re agreeable to the idea, you can appear naked more often, little by little, until it just becomes a fact of your household.\\nBreach the topic by asking an earnest question like \\\"would it bother you if I wore fewer clothes around the house?\\\" By being straightforward, your family will understand that you're showing consideration for their feelings.\\nIf someone around you seems put off or makes a critical comment about your nudity, it may be best to go clothed around them from then on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoying Nudity Without Offending Your Family\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know when you’re naked.\", \"描述\": \"Make your family aware of your nudist tendencies by warning them when there’s a chance they might see more of you than expected. If someone knocks on your door or tries to come in to talk to you, for example, tell them flat out that you’re not wearing clothes, and that they should enter at their own risk. Choosing to come in anyway shows that they don’t mind, and even if they do, you’ll still get to enjoy being naked privately.\\nAfter a while of going naked in your own private space, it will start to seem less unusual to your family.\\nTry not to catch your loved ones off guard. It could be traumatizing for some to see a parent, child or sibling naked.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start wearing fewer clothes.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to prepare your family for seeing you naked after getting permission is to work your way up to it. Try lounging around in your underwear or a more revealing outfit than you normally wear. When you get out of the shower, tie a towel around your body and linger for a minute in the kitchen or living room where you’ll be seen. Once they get over their initial squeamishness, it won’t be a big deal for them to accept that you prefer to be naked at home.\\nDon’t go from wearing clothes to walking around naked overnight. Begin wearing less and less over time so that the transition isn’t so jarring.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be judicious about exposing yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Once everyone has come to terms with your new behavior, it may be okay to reveal yourself briefly out in the open. Stroll by the family room with no fear, or creep down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night while you’re not wearing any clothes. This may come as a surprise the first few times if your loved ones aren’t used to it yet, but as long as you've made sure they're okay with your actions, they'll start to get used to it.\\nNever blatantly parade your nudity in front of your family, or do it just to be seen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Joke about your choice to go naked.\", \"描述\": \"Bring up the fact that you’ve been going naked regularly as a source of humor. It will help alleviate the awkwardness and tension that a relative might be feeling if they’re persuaded to view it as something quirky or funny. Most topics lose their taboo aura when you can laugh at them.\\nTreating your nudity as a joking matter can give you a chance to bring up the subject in a way that doesn’t feel weird.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respecting Your Family's Comfort and Decency\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open about your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Talk to your family directly about why you feel more comfortable when you’re naked. Make it known that you don’t take issue with the ways that they choose to unwind, and that they should at least be considerate of yours. They may not understand at first, but you can help put them at ease with your decision by being direct.\\nExplain that being naked is a healthy way of expressing appreciation for your body.\\nBe ready for your family members to disagree with your philosophy. Not everyone feels the same way about being naked around others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Emphasize that nudity is natural.\", \"描述\": \"Pacify whatever protests may arise by sharing your belief that going nude is freeing. There’s nothing inherently dirty or immoral about being naked. And, since you’re family, you should already be used to seeing one another at your least presentable. Getting used to various levels of nudity around your family members might even make you feel closer.\\nIf you don’t treat nudity as an ugly, profane thing, there won’t be any reason to feel shame when you or a loved one isn’t wearing clothes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work out an agreement.\", \"描述\": \"Your family might be accepting of your habit, but there may be certain times when they feel it’s inappropriate. Compromise by coming up with a set of conditions about when, where and around whom it’s acceptable to be naked. It might be okay if it’s just you at home, or if you keep it confined to your bedroom and bathroom. However, you should plan on putting something on when the grandparents come to visit or your parents are hosting a dinner party.\\nYou should always make sure there are boundaries in place, even when it’s just your family around. Remember, you’re not the only person living in the house.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know when to cover up.\", \"描述\": \"Despite your insistence, your family simply might not like the idea of you walking around naked. Be conscientious and respect their wishes. You can still go naked when you’re alone, but you shouldn’t force anyone else to witness it. There’s a time and place for everything—it just may not be under a shared roof.\\nThe people around you have just as much of a right not to have to see you naked as you do to actually be that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go outside naked, if it is okay to your family.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to become a nudist/naturalist if the time to step out your comfort zone! Just remember to stay in your private area, like your yard; if you don’t want to be seen from your neighbors add trees or higher fences. If you have a little wood, you can have a walk there! Have skinny dipping in your pool also, if you want.\\nRead the our article How to Go Outside Naked for more ideas and information. \\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/50\\\\/Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/50\\\\/Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\\/aid1009363-v4-728px-Go-Outside-Naked-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always have something you can throw on quickly in case of an emergency\\n\", \"Be confident in your body and your choice to go nude. If you act like you're ashamed, it will make it seem like you're doing something wrong.\\n\", \"Reassure your family that you're naked because it's more comfortable, not because you're trying to get noticed or make a statement.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Make sure no one has company over before you risk being seen in the nude.\\n\", \"It is quite normal for both boys and girls in their early adolescence to go naked, and some people might even find it cute. As you get older and near puberty, however, it may be interpreted as indecent, rude or vulgar.\\n\", \"The desire to be naked at home may clash with your family's values. You should be certain that no one takes offense before acting like an exhibitionist.\\n\", \"The other members of your household have a right to be comfortable as well, and this might mean that they don't want to see you without clothes on. If this is the case, save your nakedness for your own private space.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,971 | How to Be Naked at Home when Your Parents Are Gone | 1. Keeping it Secret
1-1. Find out when your parents will be returning.
Don't be too obvious with the question or your parents might suspect something and drop in to check on you!
1-2. Call them, if your parents are already gone.
Unless you are sure of when your parents might return, it's worth calling them to find out before starting out on this adventure.
Ask general questions like "Will you be home for dinner?" or "What time should I have my chores done before you get back?", etc.
Try slipping the question into idle conversation. You could say something like, "Oh, we can go out for ice cream if you'll be back before the shop closes up!"
Or maybe tell them to call you when they start heading home.
1-3. Wait until your parents are out of sight before taking anything off.
This is especially important. Sometimes, parents will leave, but come back inside for something they forgot, like their keys. Make sure they are far from home before you take your clothes off. A good rule of thumb is to wait 5 minutes after they leave to strip down.
1-4. Strip down after ensuring you cannot be seen from outside.
Before changing, close your windows and lock your door.
1-5. Make sure you have an emergency set of clothes to put on.
You never know when an unexpected arrival could catch you off guard and create an awkward situation.
1-6. Put your clothes back on well before you expect your parents to come home.
Even definite schedules change and in this case, it's better to be safe than sorry!
2. Keeping it Private
2-1. Stay indoors.
According to the laws and culture in most countries, it is (fortunately or unfortunately) important to keep your beautiful body to yourself. Unless you have a very well protected back yard, stay indoors and avoid being seen by anyone at all.
2-2. Close all your blinds and curtains.
2-3. Stay away from windows that cannot be blocked.
2-4. Lock your doors.
You don't want any unexpected company bursting in during this sensitive experiment. For more information on how to avoid being seen, check out How to Not Be Seen Naked.
3. Understanding How to Relax
3-1. Forget about your cares.
This is an obvious, but excellent first step to relaxing. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and let your worries slide off of you - just like your trousers!
3-2. Perform normal household activities.
Normal activities that are almost always done in clothing are relaxing and liberating without the nuisance of apparel. You'd be surprised how much more fun vacuuming and cleaning might be in the nude!
3-3. Cook yourself a meal.
Who knows? Perhaps you are a better cook this way. Be hygienic and take care!
3-4. Take a nap.
Many people maintain that sleeping in the nude is much more comfortable. Just remember to set an alarm!
4. Having Some Fun
4-1. Run and jump!
Feel the freedom of the air in motion against your skin. Leap nimbly as a wild antelope through your natural habitat. Also included in this category: skipping, cavorting, merrymaking, etc.
4-2. Sing and dance!
Have a private rock concert or sing a soulful ballad to a deeply affected imaginary audience.
4-3. Accessorize.
A bowler hat? A bow tie? Leg warmers? A purse? It might be time to find out if these and other accessories look best 'a la mode'.
4-4. Do what you want!
If you're bold enough, and have a pool, go skinny dipping! Just make sure no one can see you from outside your private property.
Tips
Clean up any evidence of your escapades. Bras in the kitchen or underwear on the living room couch are sure to arouse suspicion.
If you have younger (or older) siblings, consider them carefully before stripping down. Make sure they are OK with the idea, and do not pressure them to be so. Even better, make sure they're out of the house as well.
If you're not allowed to stay completely home alone but can stay with an older sibling, make sure that both of you agree before stripping down.
Warnings
Don't take any pictures you might regret. It's hard to know who might get a hold of your camera or computer later on and stumble across some... interesting evidence.
Don't force anyone at all to be naked, and don't get naked in front of anyone who is uncomfortable with the idea.
Public nudity isn't always a crime, but might be illegal in some cities or states. Do not be seen by anyone outside your home if public nudity is illegal in your area.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping it Secret\\n1-1. Find out when your parents will be returning.\\nDon't be too obvious with the question or your parents might suspect something and drop in to check on you!\\n1-2. Call them, if your parents are already gone.\\nUnless you are sure of when your parents might return, it's worth calling them to find out before starting out on this adventure.\\nAsk general questions like \\\"Will you be home for dinner?\\\" or \\\"What time should I have my chores done before you get back?\\\", etc.\\nTry slipping the question into idle conversation. You could say something like, \\\"Oh, we can go out for ice cream if you'll be back before the shop closes up!\\\"\\nOr maybe tell them to call you when they start heading home.\\n1-3. Wait until your parents are out of sight before taking anything off.\\nThis is especially important. Sometimes, parents will leave, but come back inside for something they forgot, like their keys. Make sure they are far from home before you take your clothes off. A good rule of thumb is to wait 5 minutes after they leave to strip down.\\n1-4. Strip down after ensuring you cannot be seen from outside.\\nBefore changing, close your windows and lock your door.\\n1-5. Make sure you have an emergency set of clothes to put on.\\nYou never know when an unexpected arrival could catch you off guard and create an awkward situation.\\n1-6. Put your clothes back on well before you expect your parents to come home.\\nEven definite schedules change and in this case, it's better to be safe than sorry!\\n2. Keeping it Private\\n2-1. Stay indoors.\\nAccording to the laws and culture in most countries, it is (fortunately or unfortunately) important to keep your beautiful body to yourself. Unless you have a very well protected back yard, stay indoors and avoid being seen by anyone at all.\\n2-2. Close all your blinds and curtains.\\n\\n2-3. Stay away from windows that cannot be blocked.\\n\\n2-4. Lock your doors.\\nYou don't want any unexpected company bursting in during this sensitive experiment. For more information on how to avoid being seen, check out How to Not Be Seen Naked.\\n3. Understanding How to Relax\\n3-1. Forget about your cares.\\nThis is an obvious, but excellent first step to relaxing. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and let your worries slide off of you - just like your trousers!\\n3-2. Perform normal household activities.\\nNormal activities that are almost always done in clothing are relaxing and liberating without the nuisance of apparel. You'd be surprised how much more fun vacuuming and cleaning might be in the nude!\\n3-3. Cook yourself a meal.\\nWho knows? Perhaps you are a better cook this way. Be hygienic and take care!\\n3-4. Take a nap.\\nMany people maintain that sleeping in the nude is much more comfortable. Just remember to set an alarm!\\n4. Having Some Fun\\n4-1. Run and jump!\\nFeel the freedom of the air in motion against your skin. Leap nimbly as a wild antelope through your natural habitat. Also included in this category: skipping, cavorting, merrymaking, etc.\\n4-2. Sing and dance!\\nHave a private rock concert or sing a soulful ballad to a deeply affected imaginary audience.\\n4-3. Accessorize.\\nA bowler hat? A bow tie? Leg warmers? A purse? It might be time to find out if these and other accessories look best 'a la mode'.\\n4-4. Do what you want!\\nIf you're bold enough, and have a pool, go skinny dipping! Just make sure no one can see you from outside your private property.\\nTips\\nClean up any evidence of your escapades. Bras in the kitchen or underwear on the living room couch are sure to arouse suspicion.\\nIf you have younger (or older) siblings, consider them carefully before stripping down. Make sure they are OK with the idea, and do not pressure them to be so. Even better, make sure they're out of the house as well.\\nIf you're not allowed to stay completely home alone but can stay with an older sibling, make sure that both of you agree before stripping down.\\nWarnings\\nDon't take any pictures you might regret. It's hard to know who might get a hold of your camera or computer later on and stumble across some... interesting evidence.\\nDon't force anyone at all to be naked, and don't get naked in front of anyone who is uncomfortable with the idea.\\nPublic nudity isn't always a crime, but might be illegal in some cities or states. Do not be seen by anyone outside your home if public nudity is illegal in your area.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When parents are away, opportunities for self-entertainment and relaxation pop up everywhere. Are you home alone now? Perhaps you'd fancy a little tasteful nudity today? Here are some steps on how to be naked at home. They cover what to do and how to keep it your little secret.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping it Secret\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out when your parents will be returning.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be too obvious with the question or your parents might suspect something and drop in to check on you!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Call them, if your parents are already gone.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you are sure of when your parents might return, it's worth calling them to find out before starting out on this adventure.\\nAsk general questions like \\\"Will you be home for dinner?\\\" or \\\"What time should I have my chores done before you get back?\\\", etc.\\nTry slipping the question into idle conversation. You could say something like, \\\"Oh, we can go out for ice cream if you'll be back before the shop closes up!\\\"\\nOr maybe tell them to call you when they start heading home.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wait until your parents are out of sight before taking anything off.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially important. Sometimes, parents will leave, but come back inside for something they forgot, like their keys. Make sure they are far from home before you take your clothes off. A good rule of thumb is to wait 5 minutes after they leave to strip down.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Strip down after ensuring you cannot be seen from outside.\", \"描述\": \"Before changing, close your windows and lock your door.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have an emergency set of clothes to put on.\", \"描述\": \"You never know when an unexpected arrival could catch you off guard and create an awkward situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Put your clothes back on well before you expect your parents to come home.\", \"描述\": \"Even definite schedules change and in this case, it's better to be safe than sorry!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping it Private\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay indoors.\", \"描述\": \"According to the laws and culture in most countries, it is (fortunately or unfortunately) important to keep your beautiful body to yourself. Unless you have a very well protected back yard, stay indoors and avoid being seen by anyone at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Close all your blinds and curtains.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay away from windows that cannot be blocked.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lock your doors.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want any unexpected company bursting in during this sensitive experiment. For more information on how to avoid being seen, check out How to Not Be Seen Naked.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understanding How to Relax\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forget about your cares.\", \"描述\": \"This is an obvious, but excellent first step to relaxing. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and let your worries slide off of you - just like your trousers!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Perform normal household activities.\", \"描述\": \"Normal activities that are almost always done in clothing are relaxing and liberating without the nuisance of apparel. You'd be surprised how much more fun vacuuming and cleaning might be in the nude!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cook yourself a meal.\", \"描述\": \"Who knows? Perhaps you are a better cook this way. Be hygienic and take care!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take a nap.\", \"描述\": \"Many people maintain that sleeping in the nude is much more comfortable. Just remember to set an alarm!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Having Some Fun\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Run and jump!\", \"描述\": \"Feel the freedom of the air in motion against your skin. Leap nimbly as a wild antelope through your natural habitat. Also included in this category: skipping, cavorting, merrymaking, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sing and dance!\", \"描述\": \"Have a private rock concert or sing a soulful ballad to a deeply affected imaginary audience.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accessorize.\", \"描述\": \"A bowler hat? A bow tie? Leg warmers? A purse? It might be time to find out if these and other accessories look best 'a la mode'.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do what you want!\", \"描述\": \"If you're bold enough, and have a pool, go skinny dipping! Just make sure no one can see you from outside your private property.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Clean up any evidence of your escapades. Bras in the kitchen or underwear on the living room couch are sure to arouse suspicion.\\n\", \"If you have younger (or older) siblings, consider them carefully before stripping down. Make sure they are OK with the idea, and do not pressure them to be so. Even better, make sure they're out of the house as well.\\n\", \"If you're not allowed to stay completely home alone but can stay with an older sibling, make sure that both of you agree before stripping down.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't take any pictures you might regret. It's hard to know who might get a hold of your camera or computer later on and stumble across some... interesting evidence.\\n\", \"Don't force anyone at all to be naked, and don't get naked in front of anyone who is uncomfortable with the idea.\\n\", \"Public nudity isn't always a crime, but might be illegal in some cities or states. Do not be seen by anyone outside your home if public nudity is illegal in your area.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,972 | How to Be Named Employee of the Month | 1. Meeting the Requirements
1-1. Figure out the policies.
Find out the requirements for being named employee of the month in your company or workplace. There will be different qualities and requirements dependent on the workplace and the type of work you do.
Common requirements include a high level of performance, good teamwork and interpersonal skills, and an ability to make others look up to you.
Some organizations allow fellow employees to nominate each other for excellent all-around performance.
1-2. Meet the requirements.
Once you're aware of the standards for being awarded employee of the month, you can work toward fulfilling them. Even if you’re not selected the month that you start trying to improve your performance and people skills, that doesn’t mean you won’t be chosen soon—it may take time for your performance to be noticed.
Start doing things like allowing others to get extras before you do, turning in high quality work, and being warm in your interactions with other employees and with customers.
1-3. Get to work on time.
Punctuality is a very important part of any job: it shows that you are reliable. If you aren’t already a punctual employee, start arriving to work a few minutes before your shift begins to help you get in work mode without wasting company time. Punctual employees are disciplined employees, and disciplined employees are more productive.
Try laying out your clothes, lunch, and day bag the night before so that you can just pick it all up on your way out the door.
Try to fake yourself out by setting all your clocks forward five or ten minutes—stove, microwave, phone, even your car clock.
Think about what delays you normally experience on your way to work, and plan to get up in time for an early departure.
1-4. Have a good attendance track record.
Being able to get to work every day is just as important as being on time. Employees who come to work every day are seen as dependable. Employers would rather have employees who do poor quality work but come to work daily than high achievers who are absent often.
It also effects your co-workers when you are consistently absent. If you’re on a team, you slow everyone down by your absence, contributing to a workplace full of irritated coworkers—not a good thing for someone who wants to be employee of the month.
1-5. Meet all deadlines.
Along the lines of being present at work every day, meeting all your deadlines shows that you are dependable. When a supervisor continuously sees your work on their desk when it is supposed to be there, this raises their respect level toward you and may even position you for a promotion. People like to work with dependable employees.
Your professional reputation is heavily influenced by how reliable you are. As you turn in projects on time, you build that perception of reliability in your boss’ mind, making you a great employee of the month candidate. You also make a great example to less motivated employees.
Complete all tasks related to your job, even if it’s not strictly on a deadline. Task completion also boosts your reputation as a reliable employee.
1-6. Keep up good work ethics.
You might be surprised to learn that little things like filling up the printer after you’re done and restocking the supply closet are ethical decisions in the workplace. Since many employees tend to avoid such menial tasks, your willingness to perform them displays a strong work ethic.
A good work ethic also includes being honest, not gossiping or sharing secrets, keeping promises, and following rules.
1-7. Be loyal to the company.
Keep your mouth shut in public and on social media. If you don’t like your company or agree with some of its practices, that’s fine. But once you share that feeling with people who could transmit your opinion to your boss, you risk losing your reliable reputation and instead making your boss see you as a gossip.
Instead, promote your company when you can, leaving your name with potential customers so that you are seen by your boss as a free-advertising asset.
2. Going Above and Beyond
2-1. Emphasize your strengths.
Go beyond the call of duty in areas that are your strengths. This means doing extra work where you know it will pay dividends, such as helping other employees meet deadlines or volunteering for assignments that will be easy for you to excel in.
Because you still need to maintain your reputation as a reliable employee who gets to work on time and meets all deadlines, you want to focus your extra work on things that will be easy for you to excel at.
Don’t look around for someone in charge to notice your efforts. Just do them and you might be surprised who notices.
2-2. Show ambition.
We are all familiar with the concept of ambition carrying us to the top of the corporate ladder or getting us to achieve specific goals. And personal ambition is necessary for getting you elected as employee of the month. But companies really like to see ambition channeled toward the company as a whole, leaders who are out to push the whole team toward success, not just themselves.
Take initiative when you see the opportunity, but make sure you can turn this transfer this initiative to your co-workers, especially a team if you are part of one.
Get creative about how you motivate your team—use incentives like food, fun times, and competitions with awards.
2-3. Demonstrate stellar performance.
Try to go beyond what each task asks of you. Many employees can fulfill the bare requirements—but you want to stand out to your employer in order to be in the running for employee of the month. Do things like writing more detailed reports, doing lengthier research, or following up on a customer's needs more than your training requires.
Offer to work overtime. Even though employees are motivated to take overtime—even ask for it—because of its increased compensation, willingness to work when no one else wants to shows that you are reliable. Employers find employees with a helpful attitude like this a relief.
Put in work outside your job description, such as helping co-workers who are struggling in areas that you can help with but are not your usual tasks.
2-4. Commit to quality work.
In all your rush to do more and motivate others to join you, don’t forget to give your work your best effort. Employers may be excited to see your work on their desk on time, but they also expect it to be thorough and helpful.
Emphasize quality over quantity unless directed to do otherwise.
2-5. Maintain excellent customer service.
Many companies deal directly with their customer base, so if you do customer service in any capacity, do so with the utmost kindness and patience. Customer surveys will reflect satisfaction with your behavior, making supervisors pleased to have you around.
Great customer service can make a business grow, so finding an employee who can help bring in more money is certainly a candidate for employee of the month.
Have integrity with customers, doing what you say you will do.
Be patient and courteous even when your customer is rude.
3. Maintaining a Positive Work Environment
3-1. Be a good people person.
Being good with people helps you maintain positive customer service relations, but it also helps maintain a pleasant work environment. If you become known for your smile and skill at navigating conflicts with coworkers, employers will look favorably on you—this means less drama and more focus on work (which means more revenue).
Being able to effectively communicate is key for being a good people person amongst coworkers. Do things like learn how to read nonverbal cues (body language) and lower your own stress level.
3-2. Offer to cover extra shifts.
A great way to garner respect and goodwill among coworkers is to volunteer to cover their shifts when it is difficult for them to get off. Sometimes attending an event or staying home to take care of a sick child is more important than the money a coworker would earn, and finding a substitute can make them very appreciative.
Such happy feelings towards someone you work with means a happier work environment.
Being available to serve your coworkers in this way increases your reputation as a reliable employee.
3-3. Stay friendly and polite.
Work colleagues and bosses like being around people who are friendly, upbeat, and who use manners in all their daily dealings. Make friendliness and courtesy your mantra in both inter-office and customer environments.
A positive attitude can rub off on other employees.
3-4. Be humble.
Seek help when you're in over your head. This willingness to be wrong shows that you are teachable, which can be a relief to a boss who has to train arrogant workers most of the time. Humility can also keep you from taking risks that can land the company in trouble.
Be ready to ask for help when needed but also show that you learn quickly and can institute a new way of doing things from that point onward.
3-5. Support other colleagues.
Cheer on colleagues who are awarded the employee of the month award. Show that you are supportive and not at all jealous. How you behave in front of others reflects on your team spirit.
This is called servant leadership, and ironically is often a quality required for earning the employee of the month award.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Meeting the Requirements\\n1-1. Figure out the policies.\\nFind out the requirements for being named employee of the month in your company or workplace. There will be different qualities and requirements dependent on the workplace and the type of work you do. \\nCommon requirements include a high level of performance, good teamwork and interpersonal skills, and an ability to make others look up to you.\\nSome organizations allow fellow employees to nominate each other for excellent all-around performance.\\n1-2. Meet the requirements.\\nOnce you're aware of the standards for being awarded employee of the month, you can work toward fulfilling them. Even if you’re not selected the month that you start trying to improve your performance and people skills, that doesn’t mean you won’t be chosen soon—it may take time for your performance to be noticed.\\nStart doing things like allowing others to get extras before you do, turning in high quality work, and being warm in your interactions with other employees and with customers.\\n1-3. Get to work on time.\\nPunctuality is a very important part of any job: it shows that you are reliable. If you aren’t already a punctual employee, start arriving to work a few minutes before your shift begins to help you get in work mode without wasting company time. Punctual employees are disciplined employees, and disciplined employees are more productive.\\nTry laying out your clothes, lunch, and day bag the night before so that you can just pick it all up on your way out the door.\\nTry to fake yourself out by setting all your clocks forward five or ten minutes—stove, microwave, phone, even your car clock.\\nThink about what delays you normally experience on your way to work, and plan to get up in time for an early departure.\\n1-4. Have a good attendance track record.\\nBeing able to get to work every day is just as important as being on time. Employees who come to work every day are seen as dependable. Employers would rather have employees who do poor quality work but come to work daily than high achievers who are absent often.\\nIt also effects your co-workers when you are consistently absent. If you’re on a team, you slow everyone down by your absence, contributing to a workplace full of irritated coworkers—not a good thing for someone who wants to be employee of the month.\\n1-5. Meet all deadlines.\\nAlong the lines of being present at work every day, meeting all your deadlines shows that you are dependable. When a supervisor continuously sees your work on their desk when it is supposed to be there, this raises their respect level toward you and may even position you for a promotion. People like to work with dependable employees.\\nYour professional reputation is heavily influenced by how reliable you are. As you turn in projects on time, you build that perception of reliability in your boss’ mind, making you a great employee of the month candidate. You also make a great example to less motivated employees.\\nComplete all tasks related to your job, even if it’s not strictly on a deadline. Task completion also boosts your reputation as a reliable employee.\\n1-6. Keep up good work ethics.\\nYou might be surprised to learn that little things like filling up the printer after you’re done and restocking the supply closet are ethical decisions in the workplace. Since many employees tend to avoid such menial tasks, your willingness to perform them displays a strong work ethic.\\nA good work ethic also includes being honest, not gossiping or sharing secrets, keeping promises, and following rules.\\n1-7. Be loyal to the company.\\nKeep your mouth shut in public and on social media. If you don’t like your company or agree with some of its practices, that’s fine. But once you share that feeling with people who could transmit your opinion to your boss, you risk losing your reliable reputation and instead making your boss see you as a gossip. \\nInstead, promote your company when you can, leaving your name with potential customers so that you are seen by your boss as a free-advertising asset.\\n2. Going Above and Beyond\\n2-1. Emphasize your strengths.\\nGo beyond the call of duty in areas that are your strengths. This means doing extra work where you know it will pay dividends, such as helping other employees meet deadlines or volunteering for assignments that will be easy for you to excel in.\\nBecause you still need to maintain your reputation as a reliable employee who gets to work on time and meets all deadlines, you want to focus your extra work on things that will be easy for you to excel at.\\nDon’t look around for someone in charge to notice your efforts. Just do them and you might be surprised who notices.\\n2-2. Show ambition.\\nWe are all familiar with the concept of ambition carrying us to the top of the corporate ladder or getting us to achieve specific goals. And personal ambition is necessary for getting you elected as employee of the month. But companies really like to see ambition channeled toward the company as a whole, leaders who are out to push the whole team toward success, not just themselves.\\nTake initiative when you see the opportunity, but make sure you can turn this transfer this initiative to your co-workers, especially a team if you are part of one.\\nGet creative about how you motivate your team—use incentives like food, fun times, and competitions with awards.\\n2-3. Demonstrate stellar performance.\\nTry to go beyond what each task asks of you. Many employees can fulfill the bare requirements—but you want to stand out to your employer in order to be in the running for employee of the month. Do things like writing more detailed reports, doing lengthier research, or following up on a customer's needs more than your training requires.\\nOffer to work overtime. Even though employees are motivated to take overtime—even ask for it—because of its increased compensation, willingness to work when no one else wants to shows that you are reliable. Employers find employees with a helpful attitude like this a relief.\\nPut in work outside your job description, such as helping co-workers who are struggling in areas that you can help with but are not your usual tasks.\\n2-4. Commit to quality work.\\nIn all your rush to do more and motivate others to join you, don’t forget to give your work your best effort. Employers may be excited to see your work on their desk on time, but they also expect it to be thorough and helpful. \\nEmphasize quality over quantity unless directed to do otherwise.\\n2-5. Maintain excellent customer service.\\nMany companies deal directly with their customer base, so if you do customer service in any capacity, do so with the utmost kindness and patience. Customer surveys will reflect satisfaction with your behavior, making supervisors pleased to have you around.\\nGreat customer service can make a business grow, so finding an employee who can help bring in more money is certainly a candidate for employee of the month.\\nHave integrity with customers, doing what you say you will do.\\nBe patient and courteous even when your customer is rude.\\n3. Maintaining a Positive Work Environment\\n3-1. Be a good people person.\\nBeing good with people helps you maintain positive customer service relations, but it also helps maintain a pleasant work environment. If you become known for your smile and skill at navigating conflicts with coworkers, employers will look favorably on you—this means less drama and more focus on work (which means more revenue).\\nBeing able to effectively communicate is key for being a good people person amongst coworkers. Do things like learn how to read nonverbal cues (body language) and lower your own stress level.\\n3-2. Offer to cover extra shifts.\\nA great way to garner respect and goodwill among coworkers is to volunteer to cover their shifts when it is difficult for them to get off. Sometimes attending an event or staying home to take care of a sick child is more important than the money a coworker would earn, and finding a substitute can make them very appreciative.\\nSuch happy feelings towards someone you work with means a happier work environment.\\nBeing available to serve your coworkers in this way increases your reputation as a reliable employee.\\n3-3. Stay friendly and polite.\\nWork colleagues and bosses like being around people who are friendly, upbeat, and who use manners in all their daily dealings. Make friendliness and courtesy your mantra in both inter-office and customer environments.\\nA positive attitude can rub off on other employees.\\n3-4. Be humble.\\nSeek help when you're in over your head. This willingness to be wrong shows that you are teachable, which can be a relief to a boss who has to train arrogant workers most of the time. Humility can also keep you from taking risks that can land the company in trouble. \\nBe ready to ask for help when needed but also show that you learn quickly and can institute a new way of doing things from that point onward.\\n3-5. Support other colleagues.\\nCheer on colleagues who are awarded the employee of the month award. Show that you are supportive and not at all jealous. How you behave in front of others reflects on your team spirit.\\nThis is called servant leadership, and ironically is often a quality required for earning the employee of the month award.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being employee of the month is a great honor in the workplace. It also equals increased respect from coworkers and a nice addition to your resume. The exact requirements might vary depending on where you work, but in general, it takes ambition, consistent hard work, and dedication to your job to be named employee of the month. Our guide has the tips you need to become the employee of the month at your job!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meeting the Requirements\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out the policies.\", \"描述\": \"Find out the requirements for being named employee of the month in your company or workplace. There will be different qualities and requirements dependent on the workplace and the type of work you do. \\nCommon requirements include a high level of performance, good teamwork and interpersonal skills, and an ability to make others look up to you.\\nSome organizations allow fellow employees to nominate each other for excellent all-around performance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet the requirements.\", \"描述\": \"Once you're aware of the standards for being awarded employee of the month, you can work toward fulfilling them. Even if you’re not selected the month that you start trying to improve your performance and people skills, that doesn’t mean you won’t be chosen soon—it may take time for your performance to be noticed.\\nStart doing things like allowing others to get extras before you do, turning in high quality work, and being warm in your interactions with other employees and with customers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get to work on time.\", \"描述\": \"Punctuality is a very important part of any job: it shows that you are reliable. If you aren’t already a punctual employee, start arriving to work a few minutes before your shift begins to help you get in work mode without wasting company time. Punctual employees are disciplined employees, and disciplined employees are more productive.\\nTry laying out your clothes, lunch, and day bag the night before so that you can just pick it all up on your way out the door.\\nTry to fake yourself out by setting all your clocks forward five or ten minutes—stove, microwave, phone, even your car clock.\\nThink about what delays you normally experience on your way to work, and plan to get up in time for an early departure.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a good attendance track record.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to get to work every day is just as important as being on time. Employees who come to work every day are seen as dependable. Employers would rather have employees who do poor quality work but come to work daily than high achievers who are absent often.\\nIt also effects your co-workers when you are consistently absent. If you’re on a team, you slow everyone down by your absence, contributing to a workplace full of irritated coworkers—not a good thing for someone who wants to be employee of the month.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meet all deadlines.\", \"描述\": \"Along the lines of being present at work every day, meeting all your deadlines shows that you are dependable. When a supervisor continuously sees your work on their desk when it is supposed to be there, this raises their respect level toward you and may even position you for a promotion. People like to work with dependable employees.\\nYour professional reputation is heavily influenced by how reliable you are. As you turn in projects on time, you build that perception of reliability in your boss’ mind, making you a great employee of the month candidate. You also make a great example to less motivated employees.\\nComplete all tasks related to your job, even if it’s not strictly on a deadline. Task completion also boosts your reputation as a reliable employee.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep up good work ethics.\", \"描述\": \"You might be surprised to learn that little things like filling up the printer after you’re done and restocking the supply closet are ethical decisions in the workplace. Since many employees tend to avoid such menial tasks, your willingness to perform them displays a strong work ethic.\\nA good work ethic also includes being honest, not gossiping or sharing secrets, keeping promises, and following rules.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be loyal to the company.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your mouth shut in public and on social media. If you don’t like your company or agree with some of its practices, that’s fine. But once you share that feeling with people who could transmit your opinion to your boss, you risk losing your reliable reputation and instead making your boss see you as a gossip. \\nInstead, promote your company when you can, leaving your name with potential customers so that you are seen by your boss as a free-advertising asset.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Going Above and Beyond\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Emphasize your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Go beyond the call of duty in areas that are your strengths. This means doing extra work where you know it will pay dividends, such as helping other employees meet deadlines or volunteering for assignments that will be easy for you to excel in.\\nBecause you still need to maintain your reputation as a reliable employee who gets to work on time and meets all deadlines, you want to focus your extra work on things that will be easy for you to excel at.\\nDon’t look around for someone in charge to notice your efforts. Just do them and you might be surprised who notices.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show ambition.\", \"描述\": \"We are all familiar with the concept of ambition carrying us to the top of the corporate ladder or getting us to achieve specific goals. And personal ambition is necessary for getting you elected as employee of the month. But companies really like to see ambition channeled toward the company as a whole, leaders who are out to push the whole team toward success, not just themselves.\\nTake initiative when you see the opportunity, but make sure you can turn this transfer this initiative to your co-workers, especially a team if you are part of one.\\nGet creative about how you motivate your team—use incentives like food, fun times, and competitions with awards.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate stellar performance.\", \"描述\": \"Try to go beyond what each task asks of you. Many employees can fulfill the bare requirements—but you want to stand out to your employer in order to be in the running for employee of the month. Do things like writing more detailed reports, doing lengthier research, or following up on a customer's needs more than your training requires.\\nOffer to work overtime. Even though employees are motivated to take overtime—even ask for it—because of its increased compensation, willingness to work when no one else wants to shows that you are reliable. Employers find employees with a helpful attitude like this a relief.\\nPut in work outside your job description, such as helping co-workers who are struggling in areas that you can help with but are not your usual tasks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Commit to quality work.\", \"描述\": \"In all your rush to do more and motivate others to join you, don’t forget to give your work your best effort. Employers may be excited to see your work on their desk on time, but they also expect it to be thorough and helpful. \\nEmphasize quality over quantity unless directed to do otherwise.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain excellent customer service.\", \"描述\": \"Many companies deal directly with their customer base, so if you do customer service in any capacity, do so with the utmost kindness and patience. Customer surveys will reflect satisfaction with your behavior, making supervisors pleased to have you around.\\nGreat customer service can make a business grow, so finding an employee who can help bring in more money is certainly a candidate for employee of the month.\\nHave integrity with customers, doing what you say you will do.\\nBe patient and courteous even when your customer is rude.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining a Positive Work Environment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be a good people person.\", \"描述\": \"Being good with people helps you maintain positive customer service relations, but it also helps maintain a pleasant work environment. If you become known for your smile and skill at navigating conflicts with coworkers, employers will look favorably on you—this means less drama and more focus on work (which means more revenue).\\nBeing able to effectively communicate is key for being a good people person amongst coworkers. Do things like learn how to read nonverbal cues (body language) and lower your own stress level.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer to cover extra shifts.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to garner respect and goodwill among coworkers is to volunteer to cover their shifts when it is difficult for them to get off. Sometimes attending an event or staying home to take care of a sick child is more important than the money a coworker would earn, and finding a substitute can make them very appreciative.\\nSuch happy feelings towards someone you work with means a happier work environment.\\nBeing available to serve your coworkers in this way increases your reputation as a reliable employee.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay friendly and polite.\", \"描述\": \"Work colleagues and bosses like being around people who are friendly, upbeat, and who use manners in all their daily dealings. Make friendliness and courtesy your mantra in both inter-office and customer environments.\\nA positive attitude can rub off on other employees.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be humble.\", \"描述\": \"Seek help when you're in over your head. This willingness to be wrong shows that you are teachable, which can be a relief to a boss who has to train arrogant workers most of the time. Humility can also keep you from taking risks that can land the company in trouble. \\nBe ready to ask for help when needed but also show that you learn quickly and can institute a new way of doing things from that point onward.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support other colleagues.\", \"描述\": \"Cheer on colleagues who are awarded the employee of the month award. Show that you are supportive and not at all jealous. How you behave in front of others reflects on your team spirit.\\nThis is called servant leadership, and ironically is often a quality required for earning the employee of the month award.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,973 | How to Be Naturally Beautiful As a Teen Girl | 1. Wash your face twice a day.
Keeping your skin clean gives you a healthy, fresh-faced look.
Put your best face forward every day! Massage a gentle cleanser that works with your skin type on your face in the morning. This removes oil and dead skin. Then, rinse your face with cool water and pat it dry.
Choose non-comedogenic products that won't clog your pores and cause acne.
Look for skincare products designed to meet your skincare needs. Your skin type might be sensitive, dry, oily, or normal, for instance.
2. Moisturize your skin when your skin is damp.
Moisturizer plumps and hydrates your skin.
If your skin dries out, it can look red or flaky. Apply a non-comedogenic moisturizer to your skin right after you wash it to lock in moisture.
Go for a fragrance-free moisturizer if you've got sensitive skin.
For an extra-moisturizing product, choose a moisturizing cream instead of a lotion.
3. Use sunscreen every day.
Protect your skin from sun damage with SPF 15.
Your teenage years are the time to start lifelong beauty habits and these start with your skin! Apply non-comedogenic sunscreen after moisturizer and before makeup to prevent dryness, freckles, and other sun-related damage.
Sometimes, hormones that change when you're a teenager can make your skin look patchy or pigmented. Sunscreen can help prevent this pigmentation.
4. Apply acne products if you've got pimples.
Products with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide can clear up blemishes.
Skin problems are an unfortunate part of being a teenager. As your hormones change, your skin produces more oil, which can then get trapped in your pores leading to pimples. To get clear, healthy-looking skin, apply an acne spot treatment once a day and use cleansers that are formulated to kill bacteria that cause acne.
If you're really struggling with acne, talk with a dermatologist. Sometimes, you may need a stronger skincare product or they might recommend medication to control the cause of your acne.
5. Cover blemishes with concealer.
Green color corrector and a touch of concealer can disguise pimples.
When you're a teen, pimples are pretty much inevitable. Fortunately, with a few makeup products, you can easily hide them. A dab of green color corrector can cover up red, irritated skin and blemishes. You can also use a reddish-orange color corrector to cover older, brown acne scars. Then, rub a tinted complexion corrector or beauty balm over your entire face to give it a glowy, healthy look.
Skip heavy products like liquid foundation. These can crease and cake throughout the day.
Sleeping in your makeup is a big no-no! Make a habit of washing the makeup off of your face before you go to bed to prevent future breakouts.
6. Wear makeup to enhance your natural features.
A little mascara and blush can emphasize your favorite features.
Don't feel like you have to wear makeup every day to change the way you look. Use makeup to play up the features you like! A few swipes of mascara or curling your eyelashes can bring out the beauty of your eyes, for instance. A little cream or powder blush can add a touch of color to your cheeks for a healthy glow.
The point of makeup is to emphasize your favorite features so you feel great about yourself. You don't need to cover your entire face with tons of makeup to look beautiful!
7. Try to smile more.
You don't need a lot of makeup when a smile can light up your face.
Studies actually show that smiling women are seen as more attractive. Smiling is also a great way to nurture a positive attitude. It's hard to be upset with a smile on your face.
Are you self-conscious about your smile? Practice smiling and remind yourself that you have a beautiful smile.
8. Whiten your teeth.
Give your smile a makeover with whitening strips.
If you feel self-conscious about your teeth, you may not be giving your biggest, best smiles. To feel more confident, use home whitening strips that you apply to your teeth once a day. After a week or two, you should notice a brighter smile, so show it off!
To keep your teeth looking their whitest, buy a whitening toothpaste to use, too.
9. Keep your nails groomed.
Show off healthy nails with a pop of nail polish color.
Nails are a great way to express yourself—you can experiment with fun colors or match your nails to special outfits. Start with healthy nails that you've trimmed and buffed. Then, apply fun nail color. There are lots of nail polishes with unique textures so play around to find what you like.
If you're not a fan of nail polish, it's totally fine! Skip the colors and keep your nails in top form by shaping and buffing them regularly.
10. Keep your hair clean and styled.
Brighten your entire look by washing your hair before it gets greasy.
While it might be tempting to pull your hair back into a ponytail when it needs a wash, just take a few minutes and shampoo it. Then, blow dry it or let it air dry if you're a wash-and-go kind of girl. You'll feel more confident with a great hair day and it will show!
To protect your hair from damage, brush it gently to detangle it. Try to avoid heat damage—don't use the blow dryer, flat iron, or curling iron every day.
11. Eat a healthy diet that nourishes your body.
Enjoy nutritious food instead of trying extreme calorie-cutting diets.
Eat a diet that's got fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and good sources of protein. If you notice that fatty foods or sugar make your skin look dull or oily, cut them out of your diet. Your skin will thank you!
If you feel like it's hard to eat healthily, block out an hour each week where you prep healthy snacks or lunches to take to school. This way, you won't be tempted to grab junk food or unhealthy options from the vending machine.
12. Stay hydrated throughout the day.
Drink at least 8 glasses of water.
This can help clear up acne and make your skin look radiant. Skip carbonated energy drinks or sodas that are full of caffeine and sugar.
Tired of drinking plain water? Reach for a can of unsweetened seltzer water. These come in a ton of tasty flavors.
13. Be comfortable with your weight.
Remember that beauty doesn't come in a single shape or size.
If you spend lots of time on the scale or in front of the mirror, you may make yourself miserable. Instead of obsessing over your physical appearance, look at yourself and think about what you like about your body.
For example, if you've got curves, embrace them! Don't try to hide or change the unique body that you have or you'll just make yourself miserable.
14. Improve your posture.
Project self-confidence as you stand tall.
If you're hunched over with your head bent low, people won't be able to see you well. To let your natural beauty show, sit up straight with your head held high. When you walk, keep your shoulders back and stand tall. Be proud of the beautiful person you are!
If you've got bad posture habits, it can take a while to break them, but keep trying. It should get easier over time.
15. Do activities that you love.
You'll look beautiful doing things that you're passionate about.
Think about the things you love to do—it might be going for a run, listening to music with friends, or playing a sport. You're probably excited and enjoying yourself and it will show. Since natural beauty comes from within, do things that make you feel happy and joyful on the inside.
Don't be afraid to express yourself. If you love to sing, for instance, let your voice be heard.
Tips
It's easy to feel self-conscious about your looks when you see images of beautifully made-up women online. Take a social media break if you're feeling discouraged about your looks.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Wash your face twice a day.\\nKeeping your skin clean gives you a healthy, fresh-faced look.\\nPut your best face forward every day! Massage a gentle cleanser that works with your skin type on your face in the morning. This removes oil and dead skin. Then, rinse your face with cool water and pat it dry.\\nChoose non-comedogenic products that won't clog your pores and cause acne.\\nLook for skincare products designed to meet your skincare needs. Your skin type might be sensitive, dry, oily, or normal, for instance.\\n2. Moisturize your skin when your skin is damp.\\nMoisturizer plumps and hydrates your skin.\\nIf your skin dries out, it can look red or flaky. Apply a non-comedogenic moisturizer to your skin right after you wash it to lock in moisture.\\nGo for a fragrance-free moisturizer if you've got sensitive skin.\\nFor an extra-moisturizing product, choose a moisturizing cream instead of a lotion.\\n3. Use sunscreen every day.\\nProtect your skin from sun damage with SPF 15.\\nYour teenage years are the time to start lifelong beauty habits and these start with your skin! Apply non-comedogenic sunscreen after moisturizer and before makeup to prevent dryness, freckles, and other sun-related damage.\\nSometimes, hormones that change when you're a teenager can make your skin look patchy or pigmented. Sunscreen can help prevent this pigmentation.\\n4. Apply acne products if you've got pimples.\\nProducts with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide can clear up blemishes.\\nSkin problems are an unfortunate part of being a teenager. As your hormones change, your skin produces more oil, which can then get trapped in your pores leading to pimples. To get clear, healthy-looking skin, apply an acne spot treatment once a day and use cleansers that are formulated to kill bacteria that cause acne.\\nIf you're really struggling with acne, talk with a dermatologist. Sometimes, you may need a stronger skincare product or they might recommend medication to control the cause of your acne.\\n5. Cover blemishes with concealer.\\nGreen color corrector and a touch of concealer can disguise pimples.\\nWhen you're a teen, pimples are pretty much inevitable. Fortunately, with a few makeup products, you can easily hide them. A dab of green color corrector can cover up red, irritated skin and blemishes. You can also use a reddish-orange color corrector to cover older, brown acne scars. Then, rub a tinted complexion corrector or beauty balm over your entire face to give it a glowy, healthy look.\\nSkip heavy products like liquid foundation. These can crease and cake throughout the day.\\nSleeping in your makeup is a big no-no! Make a habit of washing the makeup off of your face before you go to bed to prevent future breakouts.\\n6. Wear makeup to enhance your natural features.\\nA little mascara and blush can emphasize your favorite features.\\nDon't feel like you have to wear makeup every day to change the way you look. Use makeup to play up the features you like! A few swipes of mascara or curling your eyelashes can bring out the beauty of your eyes, for instance. A little cream or powder blush can add a touch of color to your cheeks for a healthy glow.\\nThe point of makeup is to emphasize your favorite features so you feel great about yourself. You don't need to cover your entire face with tons of makeup to look beautiful!\\n7. Try to smile more.\\nYou don't need a lot of makeup when a smile can light up your face.\\nStudies actually show that smiling women are seen as more attractive. Smiling is also a great way to nurture a positive attitude. It's hard to be upset with a smile on your face.\\nAre you self-conscious about your smile? Practice smiling and remind yourself that you have a beautiful smile.\\n8. Whiten your teeth.\\nGive your smile a makeover with whitening strips.\\nIf you feel self-conscious about your teeth, you may not be giving your biggest, best smiles. To feel more confident, use home whitening strips that you apply to your teeth once a day. After a week or two, you should notice a brighter smile, so show it off!\\nTo keep your teeth looking their whitest, buy a whitening toothpaste to use, too.\\n9. Keep your nails groomed.\\nShow off healthy nails with a pop of nail polish color.\\nNails are a great way to express yourself—you can experiment with fun colors or match your nails to special outfits. Start with healthy nails that you've trimmed and buffed. Then, apply fun nail color. There are lots of nail polishes with unique textures so play around to find what you like.\\nIf you're not a fan of nail polish, it's totally fine! Skip the colors and keep your nails in top form by shaping and buffing them regularly.\\n10. Keep your hair clean and styled.\\nBrighten your entire look by washing your hair before it gets greasy.\\nWhile it might be tempting to pull your hair back into a ponytail when it needs a wash, just take a few minutes and shampoo it. Then, blow dry it or let it air dry if you're a wash-and-go kind of girl. You'll feel more confident with a great hair day and it will show!\\nTo protect your hair from damage, brush it gently to detangle it. Try to avoid heat damage—don't use the blow dryer, flat iron, or curling iron every day.\\n11. Eat a healthy diet that nourishes your body.\\nEnjoy nutritious food instead of trying extreme calorie-cutting diets.\\nEat a diet that's got fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and good sources of protein. If you notice that fatty foods or sugar make your skin look dull or oily, cut them out of your diet. Your skin will thank you!\\nIf you feel like it's hard to eat healthily, block out an hour each week where you prep healthy snacks or lunches to take to school. This way, you won't be tempted to grab junk food or unhealthy options from the vending machine.\\n12. Stay hydrated throughout the day.\\nDrink at least 8 glasses of water.\\nThis can help clear up acne and make your skin look radiant. Skip carbonated energy drinks or sodas that are full of caffeine and sugar.\\nTired of drinking plain water? Reach for a can of unsweetened seltzer water. These come in a ton of tasty flavors.\\n13. Be comfortable with your weight.\\nRemember that beauty doesn't come in a single shape or size.\\nIf you spend lots of time on the scale or in front of the mirror, you may make yourself miserable. Instead of obsessing over your physical appearance, look at yourself and think about what you like about your body.\\nFor example, if you've got curves, embrace them! Don't try to hide or change the unique body that you have or you'll just make yourself miserable.\\n14. Improve your posture.\\nProject self-confidence as you stand tall.\\nIf you're hunched over with your head bent low, people won't be able to see you well. To let your natural beauty show, sit up straight with your head held high. When you walk, keep your shoulders back and stand tall. Be proud of the beautiful person you are!\\nIf you've got bad posture habits, it can take a while to break them, but keep trying. It should get easier over time.\\n15. Do activities that you love.\\nYou'll look beautiful doing things that you're passionate about.\\nThink about the things you love to do—it might be going for a run, listening to music with friends, or playing a sport. You're probably excited and enjoying yourself and it will show. Since natural beauty comes from within, do things that make you feel happy and joyful on the inside.\\nDon't be afraid to express yourself. If you love to sing, for instance, let your voice be heard.\\nTips\\nIt's easy to feel self-conscious about your looks when you see images of beautifully made-up women online. Take a social media break if you're feeling discouraged about your looks.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your teenage years can be hard! While you're probably learning how to use makeup and dealing with acne, it might seem like everyone else has flawless skin and perfectly done makeup. Go easy on yourself and develop your own natural beauty. If you take care of your hair and skin, you'll find that your inner beauty has a chance to shine.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wash your face twice a day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping your skin clean gives you a healthy, fresh-faced look.\", \"描述\": \"Put your best face forward every day! Massage a gentle cleanser that works with your skin type on your face in the morning. This removes oil and dead skin. Then, rinse your face with cool water and pat it dry.\\nChoose non-comedogenic products that won't clog your pores and cause acne.\\nLook for skincare products designed to meet your skincare needs. Your skin type might be sensitive, dry, oily, or normal, for instance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Moisturize your skin when your skin is damp.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Moisturizer plumps and hydrates your skin.\", \"描述\": \"If your skin dries out, it can look red or flaky. Apply a non-comedogenic moisturizer to your skin right after you wash it to lock in moisture.\\nGo for a fragrance-free moisturizer if you've got sensitive skin.\\nFor an extra-moisturizing product, choose a moisturizing cream instead of a lotion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use sunscreen every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Protect your skin from sun damage with SPF 15.\", \"描述\": \"Your teenage years are the time to start lifelong beauty habits and these start with your skin! Apply non-comedogenic sunscreen after moisturizer and before makeup to prevent dryness, freckles, and other sun-related damage.\\nSometimes, hormones that change when you're a teenager can make your skin look patchy or pigmented. Sunscreen can help prevent this pigmentation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Apply acne products if you've got pimples.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Products with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide can clear up blemishes.\", \"描述\": \"Skin problems are an unfortunate part of being a teenager. As your hormones change, your skin produces more oil, which can then get trapped in your pores leading to pimples. To get clear, healthy-looking skin, apply an acne spot treatment once a day and use cleansers that are formulated to kill bacteria that cause acne.\\nIf you're really struggling with acne, talk with a dermatologist. Sometimes, you may need a stronger skincare product or they might recommend medication to control the cause of your acne.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cover blemishes with concealer.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Green color corrector and a touch of concealer can disguise pimples.\", \"描述\": \"When you're a teen, pimples are pretty much inevitable. Fortunately, with a few makeup products, you can easily hide them. A dab of green color corrector can cover up red, irritated skin and blemishes. You can also use a reddish-orange color corrector to cover older, brown acne scars. Then, rub a tinted complexion corrector or beauty balm over your entire face to give it a glowy, healthy look.\\nSkip heavy products like liquid foundation. These can crease and cake throughout the day.\\nSleeping in your makeup is a big no-no! Make a habit of washing the makeup off of your face before you go to bed to prevent future breakouts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wear makeup to enhance your natural features.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A little mascara and blush can emphasize your favorite features.\", \"描述\": \"Don't feel like you have to wear makeup every day to change the way you look. Use makeup to play up the features you like! A few swipes of mascara or curling your eyelashes can bring out the beauty of your eyes, for instance. A little cream or powder blush can add a touch of color to your cheeks for a healthy glow.\\nThe point of makeup is to emphasize your favorite features so you feel great about yourself. You don't need to cover your entire face with tons of makeup to look beautiful!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try to smile more.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don't need a lot of makeup when a smile can light up your face.\", \"描述\": \"Studies actually show that smiling women are seen as more attractive. Smiling is also a great way to nurture a positive attitude. It's hard to be upset with a smile on your face.\\nAre you self-conscious about your smile? Practice smiling and remind yourself that you have a beautiful smile.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Whiten your teeth.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your smile a makeover with whitening strips.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel self-conscious about your teeth, you may not be giving your biggest, best smiles. To feel more confident, use home whitening strips that you apply to your teeth once a day. After a week or two, you should notice a brighter smile, so show it off!\\nTo keep your teeth looking their whitest, buy a whitening toothpaste to use, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep your nails groomed.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show off healthy nails with a pop of nail polish color.\", \"描述\": \"Nails are a great way to express yourself—you can experiment with fun colors or match your nails to special outfits. Start with healthy nails that you've trimmed and buffed. Then, apply fun nail color. There are lots of nail polishes with unique textures so play around to find what you like.\\nIf you're not a fan of nail polish, it's totally fine! Skip the colors and keep your nails in top form by shaping and buffing them regularly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep your hair clean and styled.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Brighten your entire look by washing your hair before it gets greasy.\", \"描述\": \"While it might be tempting to pull your hair back into a ponytail when it needs a wash, just take a few minutes and shampoo it. Then, blow dry it or let it air dry if you're a wash-and-go kind of girl. You'll feel more confident with a great hair day and it will show!\\nTo protect your hair from damage, brush it gently to detangle it. Try to avoid heat damage—don't use the blow dryer, flat iron, or curling iron every day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet that nourishes your body.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy nutritious food instead of trying extreme calorie-cutting diets.\", \"描述\": \"Eat a diet that's got fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and good sources of protein. If you notice that fatty foods or sugar make your skin look dull or oily, cut them out of your diet. Your skin will thank you!\\nIf you feel like it's hard to eat healthily, block out an hour each week where you prep healthy snacks or lunches to take to school. This way, you won't be tempted to grab junk food or unhealthy options from the vending machine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Stay hydrated throughout the day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Drink at least 8 glasses of water.\", \"描述\": \"This can help clear up acne and make your skin look radiant. Skip carbonated energy drinks or sodas that are full of caffeine and sugar.\\nTired of drinking plain water? Reach for a can of unsweetened seltzer water. These come in a ton of tasty flavors.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Be comfortable with your weight.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that beauty doesn't come in a single shape or size.\", \"描述\": \"If you spend lots of time on the scale or in front of the mirror, you may make yourself miserable. Instead of obsessing over your physical appearance, look at yourself and think about what you like about your body.\\nFor example, if you've got curves, embrace them! Don't try to hide or change the unique body that you have or you'll just make yourself miserable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Improve your posture.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Project self-confidence as you stand tall.\", \"描述\": \"If you're hunched over with your head bent low, people won't be able to see you well. To let your natural beauty show, sit up straight with your head held high. When you walk, keep your shoulders back and stand tall. Be proud of the beautiful person you are!\\nIf you've got bad posture habits, it can take a while to break them, but keep trying. It should get easier over time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Do activities that you love.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You'll look beautiful doing things that you're passionate about.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the things you love to do—it might be going for a run, listening to music with friends, or playing a sport. You're probably excited and enjoying yourself and it will show. Since natural beauty comes from within, do things that make you feel happy and joyful on the inside.\\nDon't be afraid to express yourself. If you love to sing, for instance, let your voice be heard.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It's easy to feel self-conscious about your looks when you see images of beautifully made-up women online. Take a social media break if you're feeling discouraged about your looks.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,974 | How to Be Naturally Funny | 1. Opening up and Discovering Your Sense of Humor
1-1. Start by loosening up!
Being too uptight and self-conscious are roadblocks to developing and communicating a natural sense of humor that is relatable to other people. Remember that laughter is contagious, so if you carry yourself in an open and humorous way people will be ready to laugh. To break the ice, you may follow the lead of others if you need to.
Try smiling and laughing more.
1-2. Get comfortable with yourself and your opinions about life.
Everyone has opinions about life, and in many cases, opinions can be humorous to other people. People who are naturally funny are typically willing to find humor in both themselves and their opinions. If you are too uptight or self-conscious, it will be difficult to find humor in such things.
Think about opening up to others by sharing an embarrassing story about yourself. Be cautious, however, as self-deprecating jokes could make you or others feel uncomfortable. Stick with something that is in good taste.
1-3. Look for humor in everyday events.
Many comedians focus on the world around them to find comedic material. Others look to their past experiences, such as their childhood, or past relationships as a way to make people laugh. Try making a goal of noticing 5 funny things per day that happen to you. Through this technique, you will begin to see humor in mundane situations that everyone will appreciate.
Try to find inspiration and material in the absurd and strange aspects of everyday life. What do you see strange in popular music, fashion, the holidays, and current events?
1-4. Visit with a naturally funny friend or acquaintance.
We all have friends who are always good for a laugh. What is it that makes them funny? When you see them, pay careful attention to what makes them funny. Is it their tone of voice, body language, content, general demeanor, or something else that makes them naturally funny. Identifying what is that makes them funny will provide clues for how you can be naturally funny as well.
Make a habit to spend more time around funny people, and offer to share a funny story or joke of your own.
1-5. Research comedic styles.
Different comedic styles appeal to different people. Some people enjoy sarcastic and witty comments, others are good with jokes, some like impressions, and others still enjoy funny actions. All of these are legitimate methods of being funny, but it is best to pick something that fits your personality to be naturally funny.
Anecdotal comedy refers to funny personal stories that may or may not be embellished.
Dry humor is delivered with no expression and matter-of-fact, while the material itself is very funny.
Hyperbolic comedy is characterized by massive exaggeration.
Ironic comedy is when the meaning of the joke is the opposite of the actual meaning.
1-6. Practice being funny.
Make it your goal to say or do something that makes someone laugh once a day. A good sense of humor does not emerge overnight, and professional comedians often spend years developing their unique style. By starting small, you will be on your way to being naturally funny in general conversation.
Do not be afraid to share something you think is funny. While others will not always understand your humor, you can use their reactions to help improve your style, content, and timing.
Reflect on what makes you laugh. If you find something funny, share it with a friend who you think will find this funny as well.
Share a funny episode from a movie, television show, book or comic strip.
2. Being Funny in a Social Situation
2-1. Feel out your audience.
Be aware of what kind of people you are speaking with, and what makes them laugh. Remember that just because you think something's funny, it does not necessarily mean that the people around you will. You need to know your audience before you can make them laugh!
Be aware that humor changes with age. Older individuals are less likely to laugh at sexual or aggressive types of humor, while the right younger audience may appreciate it.
Note that inside jokes, particular group stories, or practical jokes are usually best shared with close friends. You do not want to make someone feel left-out because they don't understand the context.
Unless you share similar views, avoid joking about religion or politics.
Use humor to make people feel more comfortable and positive, do not single them out or belittle their appearance or beliefs.
2-2. Work on your timing when telling a story or joke.
Professional comedians say timing is everything and key to comic delivery. Stories and jokes are made more funny when the teller pauses right before the punchline to build drama and anticipation. You can also wait to laugh until a couple seconds after the punchline, that way people can never be sure if you are joking or not. Always give your audience time to laugh before moving on to a different topic.
If you notice something funny, do not wait too long to point it out. Seize the moment!
Asides, which are sarcastic or funny comments inserted into conversation, work well when delivered quickly.
Keep stories short and simple, as too much background or too many tangents will distract the audience.
2-3. Make jokes at your own expense.
Audiences appreciate when you make yourself the target of comedy. It will help them open-up and they will find it easier to laugh at both you and themselves. As a result, people will begin laughing and social anxiety will be reduced.
It is not recommended that you begin by making jokes about someone else.
If you are with someone who is able to laugh at themselves, you can gently poke fun at them after you have done the same to yourself. Make sure you don't go too far, as this will turn a light-hearted situation into an awkward one.
2-4. Target well known subjects that won't be harmed.
Poking fun at authority figures, such as politicians, celebrities, or (former) bosses is usually safe. Do not make jokes at the expense of people people who are physically or cognitively disabled, or dealing with a difficult experience such as divorce, death, illness, or sexual assault.
A good rule of thumb is to punch up, not down. Making fun of a person or entity in a position of power, e.g. a bully, is punching up. Making fun of a person or entity that lacks power, e.g. an oppressed group, is punching down. Punching up challenges the status quo, while punching down reinforces it.
2-5. Avoid memorizing and re-telling older jokes.
Telling well recited jokes, such as knock-knock jokes or inappropriate jokes, will turn people off to your sense of humor. In addition, trying to tell a joke you heard on TV or found online will appear rehearsed and unnatural. Stick with your own observations.
3. Being Naturally Funny at Work
3-1. Use humor to integrate yourself into the workplace.
Remember that taking yourself too seriously can actually hurt your relationships with your colleagues. A good sense of humor, combined strong work ethic, have been shown to be important traits in successful leaders. By being funny at work, you can enhance your reputation there.
3-2. Bond with colleagues through humor.
Humor can be used to grow group cohesiveness by diffusing negative situations and generating positive feelings. You can use humor to draw attention to things you have in common with co-workers or a boss. This will help you make friends in the workplace and make the workplace more comfortable.
If you are trying to are collaborating with someone for the first time, delivering criticism, or supporting a controversial idea or plan, humor can be a great way to get their attention without seeming pretentious or superior.
3-3. Be careful with workplace humor.
You want to come off as funny, not passive-aggressive or outright offensive. You also want to be able to grab and keep people's attention, but not because they find you offensive. At work, avoid forms of "low comedy" that would be too risky.
Possibly offensive topics include physical appearance or shortcomings, oppressed groups (e.g. women and minorities), physical or mental disabilities, and references to bodily functions and sex.
Tips
Use good judgment in deciding what is appropriate.[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source
Don't act stupid because you think its funny, or degrade or embarrass yourself for a few "cheap laughs".
Remember that no one is perfect. Finding humor in otherwise embarrassing or awkward situations will not only help you cope, but make those around you feel more at ease.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Opening up and Discovering Your Sense of Humor\\n1-1. Start by loosening up!\\nBeing too uptight and self-conscious are roadblocks to developing and communicating a natural sense of humor that is relatable to other people. Remember that laughter is contagious, so if you carry yourself in an open and humorous way people will be ready to laugh. To break the ice, you may follow the lead of others if you need to.\\nTry smiling and laughing more.\\n1-2. Get comfortable with yourself and your opinions about life.\\nEveryone has opinions about life, and in many cases, opinions can be humorous to other people. People who are naturally funny are typically willing to find humor in both themselves and their opinions. If you are too uptight or self-conscious, it will be difficult to find humor in such things.\\nThink about opening up to others by sharing an embarrassing story about yourself. Be cautious, however, as self-deprecating jokes could make you or others feel uncomfortable. Stick with something that is in good taste.\\n1-3. Look for humor in everyday events.\\nMany comedians focus on the world around them to find comedic material. Others look to their past experiences, such as their childhood, or past relationships as a way to make people laugh. Try making a goal of noticing 5 funny things per day that happen to you. Through this technique, you will begin to see humor in mundane situations that everyone will appreciate.\\nTry to find inspiration and material in the absurd and strange aspects of everyday life. What do you see strange in popular music, fashion, the holidays, and current events?\\n1-4. Visit with a naturally funny friend or acquaintance.\\nWe all have friends who are always good for a laugh. What is it that makes them funny? When you see them, pay careful attention to what makes them funny. Is it their tone of voice, body language, content, general demeanor, or something else that makes them naturally funny. Identifying what is that makes them funny will provide clues for how you can be naturally funny as well.\\nMake a habit to spend more time around funny people, and offer to share a funny story or joke of your own.\\n1-5. Research comedic styles.\\nDifferent comedic styles appeal to different people. Some people enjoy sarcastic and witty comments, others are good with jokes, some like impressions, and others still enjoy funny actions. All of these are legitimate methods of being funny, but it is best to pick something that fits your personality to be naturally funny.\\nAnecdotal comedy refers to funny personal stories that may or may not be embellished.\\nDry humor is delivered with no expression and matter-of-fact, while the material itself is very funny.\\nHyperbolic comedy is characterized by massive exaggeration.\\nIronic comedy is when the meaning of the joke is the opposite of the actual meaning.\\n1-6. Practice being funny.\\nMake it your goal to say or do something that makes someone laugh once a day. A good sense of humor does not emerge overnight, and professional comedians often spend years developing their unique style. By starting small, you will be on your way to being naturally funny in general conversation.\\nDo not be afraid to share something you think is funny. While others will not always understand your humor, you can use their reactions to help improve your style, content, and timing.\\nReflect on what makes you laugh. If you find something funny, share it with a friend who you think will find this funny as well.\\nShare a funny episode from a movie, television show, book or comic strip.\\n2. Being Funny in a Social Situation\\n2-1. Feel out your audience.\\nBe aware of what kind of people you are speaking with, and what makes them laugh. Remember that just because you think something's funny, it does not necessarily mean that the people around you will. You need to know your audience before you can make them laugh!\\nBe aware that humor changes with age. Older individuals are less likely to laugh at sexual or aggressive types of humor, while the right younger audience may appreciate it.\\nNote that inside jokes, particular group stories, or practical jokes are usually best shared with close friends. You do not want to make someone feel left-out because they don't understand the context.\\nUnless you share similar views, avoid joking about religion or politics.\\nUse humor to make people feel more comfortable and positive, do not single them out or belittle their appearance or beliefs.\\n2-2. Work on your timing when telling a story or joke.\\nProfessional comedians say timing is everything and key to comic delivery. Stories and jokes are made more funny when the teller pauses right before the punchline to build drama and anticipation. You can also wait to laugh until a couple seconds after the punchline, that way people can never be sure if you are joking or not. Always give your audience time to laugh before moving on to a different topic.\\nIf you notice something funny, do not wait too long to point it out. Seize the moment!\\nAsides, which are sarcastic or funny comments inserted into conversation, work well when delivered quickly.\\nKeep stories short and simple, as too much background or too many tangents will distract the audience.\\n2-3. Make jokes at your own expense.\\nAudiences appreciate when you make yourself the target of comedy. It will help them open-up and they will find it easier to laugh at both you and themselves. As a result, people will begin laughing and social anxiety will be reduced.\\nIt is not recommended that you begin by making jokes about someone else.\\nIf you are with someone who is able to laugh at themselves, you can gently poke fun at them after you have done the same to yourself. Make sure you don't go too far, as this will turn a light-hearted situation into an awkward one.\\n2-4. Target well known subjects that won't be harmed.\\nPoking fun at authority figures, such as politicians, celebrities, or (former) bosses is usually safe. Do not make jokes at the expense of people people who are physically or cognitively disabled, or dealing with a difficult experience such as divorce, death, illness, or sexual assault.\\nA good rule of thumb is to punch up, not down. Making fun of a person or entity in a position of power, e.g. a bully, is punching up. Making fun of a person or entity that lacks power, e.g. an oppressed group, is punching down. Punching up challenges the status quo, while punching down reinforces it.\\n2-5. Avoid memorizing and re-telling older jokes.\\nTelling well recited jokes, such as knock-knock jokes or inappropriate jokes, will turn people off to your sense of humor. In addition, trying to tell a joke you heard on TV or found online will appear rehearsed and unnatural. Stick with your own observations.\\n3. Being Naturally Funny at Work\\n3-1. Use humor to integrate yourself into the workplace.\\nRemember that taking yourself too seriously can actually hurt your relationships with your colleagues. A good sense of humor, combined strong work ethic, have been shown to be important traits in successful leaders. By being funny at work, you can enhance your reputation there.\\n3-2. Bond with colleagues through humor.\\nHumor can be used to grow group cohesiveness by diffusing negative situations and generating positive feelings. You can use humor to draw attention to things you have in common with co-workers or a boss. This will help you make friends in the workplace and make the workplace more comfortable.\\nIf you are trying to are collaborating with someone for the first time, delivering criticism, or supporting a controversial idea or plan, humor can be a great way to get their attention without seeming pretentious or superior.\\n3-3. Be careful with workplace humor.\\nYou want to come off as funny, not passive-aggressive or outright offensive. You also want to be able to grab and keep people's attention, but not because they find you offensive. At work, avoid forms of \\\"low comedy\\\" that would be too risky. \\nPossibly offensive topics include physical appearance or shortcomings, oppressed groups (e.g. women and minorities), physical or mental disabilities, and references to bodily functions and sex.\\nTips\\nUse good judgment in deciding what is appropriate.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\nDon't act stupid because you think its funny, or degrade or embarrass yourself for a few \\\"cheap laughs\\\".\\nRemember that no one is perfect. Finding humor in otherwise embarrassing or awkward situations will not only help you cope, but make those around you feel more at ease.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We all know that one person who is somehow always effortlessly funny, but how do they do it? It’s not magic—being naturally funny is actually a skill you can practice and get better at. By exploring your sense of humor and playing around with it in different situations, you’ll be surprised how quickly being funny becomes second nature. The steps below will help you get started!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Opening up and Discovering Your Sense of Humor\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by loosening up!\", \"描述\": \"Being too uptight and self-conscious are roadblocks to developing and communicating a natural sense of humor that is relatable to other people. Remember that laughter is contagious, so if you carry yourself in an open and humorous way people will be ready to laugh. To break the ice, you may follow the lead of others if you need to.\\nTry smiling and laughing more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get comfortable with yourself and your opinions about life.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has opinions about life, and in many cases, opinions can be humorous to other people. People who are naturally funny are typically willing to find humor in both themselves and their opinions. If you are too uptight or self-conscious, it will be difficult to find humor in such things.\\nThink about opening up to others by sharing an embarrassing story about yourself. Be cautious, however, as self-deprecating jokes could make you or others feel uncomfortable. Stick with something that is in good taste.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for humor in everyday events.\", \"描述\": \"Many comedians focus on the world around them to find comedic material. Others look to their past experiences, such as their childhood, or past relationships as a way to make people laugh. Try making a goal of noticing 5 funny things per day that happen to you. Through this technique, you will begin to see humor in mundane situations that everyone will appreciate.\\nTry to find inspiration and material in the absurd and strange aspects of everyday life. What do you see strange in popular music, fashion, the holidays, and current events?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Visit with a naturally funny friend or acquaintance.\", \"描述\": \"We all have friends who are always good for a laugh. What is it that makes them funny? When you see them, pay careful attention to what makes them funny. Is it their tone of voice, body language, content, general demeanor, or something else that makes them naturally funny. Identifying what is that makes them funny will provide clues for how you can be naturally funny as well.\\nMake a habit to spend more time around funny people, and offer to share a funny story or joke of your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Research comedic styles.\", \"描述\": \"Different comedic styles appeal to different people. Some people enjoy sarcastic and witty comments, others are good with jokes, some like impressions, and others still enjoy funny actions. All of these are legitimate methods of being funny, but it is best to pick something that fits your personality to be naturally funny.\\nAnecdotal comedy refers to funny personal stories that may or may not be embellished.\\nDry humor is delivered with no expression and matter-of-fact, while the material itself is very funny.\\nHyperbolic comedy is characterized by massive exaggeration.\\nIronic comedy is when the meaning of the joke is the opposite of the actual meaning.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice being funny.\", \"描述\": \"Make it your goal to say or do something that makes someone laugh once a day. A good sense of humor does not emerge overnight, and professional comedians often spend years developing their unique style. By starting small, you will be on your way to being naturally funny in general conversation.\\nDo not be afraid to share something you think is funny. While others will not always understand your humor, you can use their reactions to help improve your style, content, and timing.\\nReflect on what makes you laugh. If you find something funny, share it with a friend who you think will find this funny as well.\\nShare a funny episode from a movie, television show, book or comic strip.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Funny in a Social Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Feel out your audience.\", \"描述\": \"Be aware of what kind of people you are speaking with, and what makes them laugh. Remember that just because you think something's funny, it does not necessarily mean that the people around you will. You need to know your audience before you can make them laugh!\\nBe aware that humor changes with age. Older individuals are less likely to laugh at sexual or aggressive types of humor, while the right younger audience may appreciate it.\\nNote that inside jokes, particular group stories, or practical jokes are usually best shared with close friends. You do not want to make someone feel left-out because they don't understand the context.\\nUnless you share similar views, avoid joking about religion or politics.\\nUse humor to make people feel more comfortable and positive, do not single them out or belittle their appearance or beliefs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work on your timing when telling a story or joke.\", \"描述\": \"Professional comedians say timing is everything and key to comic delivery. Stories and jokes are made more funny when the teller pauses right before the punchline to build drama and anticipation. You can also wait to laugh until a couple seconds after the punchline, that way people can never be sure if you are joking or not. Always give your audience time to laugh before moving on to a different topic.\\nIf you notice something funny, do not wait too long to point it out. Seize the moment!\\nAsides, which are sarcastic or funny comments inserted into conversation, work well when delivered quickly.\\nKeep stories short and simple, as too much background or too many tangents will distract the audience.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make jokes at your own expense.\", \"描述\": \"Audiences appreciate when you make yourself the target of comedy. It will help them open-up and they will find it easier to laugh at both you and themselves. As a result, people will begin laughing and social anxiety will be reduced.\\nIt is not recommended that you begin by making jokes about someone else.\\nIf you are with someone who is able to laugh at themselves, you can gently poke fun at them after you have done the same to yourself. Make sure you don't go too far, as this will turn a light-hearted situation into an awkward one.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Target well known subjects that won't be harmed.\", \"描述\": \"Poking fun at authority figures, such as politicians, celebrities, or (former) bosses is usually safe. Do not make jokes at the expense of people people who are physically or cognitively disabled, or dealing with a difficult experience such as divorce, death, illness, or sexual assault.\\nA good rule of thumb is to punch up, not down. Making fun of a person or entity in a position of power, e.g. a bully, is punching up. Making fun of a person or entity that lacks power, e.g. an oppressed group, is punching down. Punching up challenges the status quo, while punching down reinforces it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid memorizing and re-telling older jokes.\", \"描述\": \"Telling well recited jokes, such as knock-knock jokes or inappropriate jokes, will turn people off to your sense of humor. In addition, trying to tell a joke you heard on TV or found online will appear rehearsed and unnatural. Stick with your own observations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Naturally Funny at Work\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use humor to integrate yourself into the workplace.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that taking yourself too seriously can actually hurt your relationships with your colleagues. A good sense of humor, combined strong work ethic, have been shown to be important traits in successful leaders. By being funny at work, you can enhance your reputation there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bond with colleagues through humor.\", \"描述\": \"Humor can be used to grow group cohesiveness by diffusing negative situations and generating positive feelings. You can use humor to draw attention to things you have in common with co-workers or a boss. This will help you make friends in the workplace and make the workplace more comfortable.\\nIf you are trying to are collaborating with someone for the first time, delivering criticism, or supporting a controversial idea or plan, humor can be a great way to get their attention without seeming pretentious or superior.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be careful with workplace humor.\", \"描述\": \"You want to come off as funny, not passive-aggressive or outright offensive. You also want to be able to grab and keep people's attention, but not because they find you offensive. At work, avoid forms of \\\"low comedy\\\" that would be too risky. \\nPossibly offensive topics include physical appearance or shortcomings, oppressed groups (e.g. women and minorities), physical or mental disabilities, and references to bodily functions and sex.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Use good judgment in deciding what is appropriate.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nMayo Clinic\\nEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitals\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Don't act stupid because you think its funny, or degrade or embarrass yourself for a few \\\"cheap laughs\\\".\\n\", \"Remember that no one is perfect. Finding humor in otherwise embarrassing or awkward situations will not only help you cope, but make those around you feel more at ease.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,975 | How to Be Naturally Thin | 1. Eat regular meals when you feel hungry.
Enjoy nutritious meals or snacks instead of skipping meals.
Pay attention to your body's cues and eat when you're hungry. While eating smaller more frequent meals won't boost your metabolism, it will stop you from getting too hungry and overeating when you do sit down to eat.
Plan on eating a meal or healthy snack every 3 or 4 hours. You'll make more nutritious choices if you don't wait until you're absolutely starving to eat.
Start your day with a nutritious breakfast instead of skipping it. Try Greek yogurt or eggs with fruit and a piece of whole-grain toast, for instance.
2. Savor your food and stop eating as soon as you feel full.
Chew your food slowly and enjoy every bite.
When you eat slowly, it gives your body time to send a signal to your brain that it's full and you can stop eating. Give yourself at least 15 to 20 minutes to eat a meal so you don't eat too quickly. Once you feel full, stop eating!
You've probably experienced this before—you're really hungry, so you eat as fast as possible. You most likely ate a lot of food and then felt really full. Eating slowly can prevent this from happening in the future.
It takes about 15-20 minutes for the hunger center in your brain to process the signal that you’re full. Eating slowly or taking a break in the middle of your meal can give your stomach and brain time to catch up so that you don’t overeat.
3. Eat lean protein and lots of produce every day.
You'll get energy from the protein and tons of nutrients from fruits and veggies.
These are also great low-calorie options compared to carbohydrates like pasta and bread. Eating protein at each meal will curb your appetite, while fruits and vegetables are full of vitamins that your body needs. Great low-calorie options include:
Turkey, chicken, salmon, and eggs
Plant-based alternatives like tofu and soy
Low-fat dairy like yogurt or milk
Leafy greens like spinach, arugula, and kale
Strawberries, bananas, oranges, pineapple, and grapes
Carrots, tomatoes, squash, bell peppers, broccoli, and asparagus
4. Cut back on saturated fats, sugar, and processed food.
Limit the unhealthy fats that you eat every day to prevent weight gain.
It's true that some fat, like polyunsaturated fat, is good for you. But unhealthy fats, like saturated or trans fats, are often found in high-calorie foods. Eating these every day can make it harder to stay thin. To keep the weight off, avoid foods like:
Doughnuts, cookies, crackers, muffins, pies, and cakes
Red meats, deli meats, butter, and full-fat cheese
Fried foods and fast food
5. Skip high-calorie beverages.
Sugary beverages and alcohol are high in calories, so take them out of your diet.
It's easy to sip on soda or juice throughout the day, but they're full of calories that add up fast. Cutting out just 1 soda or sports drink a day can save you 150 calories! Stick with water and sugar-free beverages for an easy way to make a big change in your diet.
Unsweetened green tea is a great choice— some studies show that it may increase fat-burning and weight loss.
6. Serve meals on smaller plates to control your portion sizes.
The smaller plates make it easier to eat less in each sitting.
Swap out your big 11 in (28 cm) dinner plate for a 9 in (23 cm) lunch or salad plate so you fill it with fewer calories. Enjoy the food that's on your plate and don’t go back for seconds.
Serving sizes in restaurants are usually huge! If you're eating out, order appetizers instead or share an entree with a friend.
Don't set out platters or bowls of food on the table since it's easy to graze or keep filling your plate.
7. Move your body as often as possible.
Look for opportunities to get up so you're not sitting for a long period of time.
Think about how long you sit throughout the day—when you're working at a desk, commuting to work, or using a computer, for instance. Try to stand up and move every 30 minutes to burn calories. All these little movement breaks add up!
If you usually sit at a desk, switch to a standing desk. You can also get up and walk around when you're talking on the phone or even watching television.
Take your meetings on a walk. Instead of sitting around an office table, plan to walk and talk.
8. Do exercises during downtime.
Add a few quick exercises whenever you have a few minutes to spare.
Don't have time to work out at the gym? You can increase your activity level without leaving your home! Consider all the times when you're waiting for things and do simple exercises when you can. Even a few minutes of physical activity here and there can help keep the weight off.
For example, if you're waiting for dinner to finish cooking, do a few squats or planks. Watching tv or listening to a podcast? Get up and do some jumping jacks or crunches.
9. Aim for 30 minutes of daily physical activity.
Regular exercise can keep the weight off.
The good news is that you don't need extreme physical activities to help you stay in shape. Exercises like walking or swimming are great ways to stay active. If you can't do 30 minutes in a single stretch, do what you can—a few short jogs or a couple of strength training sessions are great, too.
If you can, mix up the types of physical activity you do. You'll be less likely to get bored with it and you'll burn calories in different ways so you're working a variety of muscles.
10. Get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.
You'll feel more rested and have more energy for physical activity.
Studies have shown that not getting enough sleep can lead to weight gain. It may also disrupt hormones that control your appetite and hunger, so you eat more. To keep your metabolism in check, try to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.
Skip snacks before bed and try to stop eating after your last meal of the day.
11. Do stress-reducing activities every day.
You're more likely to eat when you're stressed, so try coping activities instead.
Research shows that stress or anxiety can lower your energy levels so you feel less active. It can also negatively impact your metabolism. Instead of eating when you're stressed, you might try:
Learning meditation and mindfulness techniques
Practicing breathing techniques
Doing gentle stretching or practicing yoga
Getting regular massages
Learning a new sport or hobby
12. Develop a body-positive mindset.
Turn negative thoughts about your weight into body-positive reminders.
It's easy to fall into the trap of obsessing over your weight. This can lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. Instead of spending time on these thoughts, stop yourself and take a moment to focus on something you like about yourself.
For example, stop yourself from worrying about how much you weigh. Think to yourself, "I'm grateful I have a healthy body and I'm just the right size for me!"
Tips
Avoid banning foods from your diet—this can add stress. Instead, limit high-calorie or unhealthy foods so you can occasionally enjoy them.[14]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source
Research shows that probiotics like Lactobacillus gasseri may help you manage your weight by blocking fat absorption.[15]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source
Add a few spicy foods to your meals for an easy way to boost your metabolism. Spice your foods with sriracha sauce, jalapenos, or harissa, for instance.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Eat regular meals when you feel hungry.\\nEnjoy nutritious meals or snacks instead of skipping meals.\\nPay attention to your body's cues and eat when you're hungry. While eating smaller more frequent meals won't boost your metabolism, it will stop you from getting too hungry and overeating when you do sit down to eat.\\nPlan on eating a meal or healthy snack every 3 or 4 hours. You'll make more nutritious choices if you don't wait until you're absolutely starving to eat.\\nStart your day with a nutritious breakfast instead of skipping it. Try Greek yogurt or eggs with fruit and a piece of whole-grain toast, for instance.\\n2. Savor your food and stop eating as soon as you feel full.\\nChew your food slowly and enjoy every bite.\\nWhen you eat slowly, it gives your body time to send a signal to your brain that it's full and you can stop eating. Give yourself at least 15 to 20 minutes to eat a meal so you don't eat too quickly. Once you feel full, stop eating!\\nYou've probably experienced this before—you're really hungry, so you eat as fast as possible. You most likely ate a lot of food and then felt really full. Eating slowly can prevent this from happening in the future.\\nIt takes about 15-20 minutes for the hunger center in your brain to process the signal that you’re full. Eating slowly or taking a break in the middle of your meal can give your stomach and brain time to catch up so that you don’t overeat.\\n3. Eat lean protein and lots of produce every day.\\nYou'll get energy from the protein and tons of nutrients from fruits and veggies.\\nThese are also great low-calorie options compared to carbohydrates like pasta and bread. Eating protein at each meal will curb your appetite, while fruits and vegetables are full of vitamins that your body needs. Great low-calorie options include:\\nTurkey, chicken, salmon, and eggs\\nPlant-based alternatives like tofu and soy\\nLow-fat dairy like yogurt or milk\\nLeafy greens like spinach, arugula, and kale\\nStrawberries, bananas, oranges, pineapple, and grapes\\nCarrots, tomatoes, squash, bell peppers, broccoli, and asparagus\\n4. Cut back on saturated fats, sugar, and processed food.\\nLimit the unhealthy fats that you eat every day to prevent weight gain.\\nIt's true that some fat, like polyunsaturated fat, is good for you. But unhealthy fats, like saturated or trans fats, are often found in high-calorie foods. Eating these every day can make it harder to stay thin. To keep the weight off, avoid foods like:\\nDoughnuts, cookies, crackers, muffins, pies, and cakes\\nRed meats, deli meats, butter, and full-fat cheese\\nFried foods and fast food\\n5. Skip high-calorie beverages.\\nSugary beverages and alcohol are high in calories, so take them out of your diet.\\nIt's easy to sip on soda or juice throughout the day, but they're full of calories that add up fast. Cutting out just 1 soda or sports drink a day can save you 150 calories! Stick with water and sugar-free beverages for an easy way to make a big change in your diet.\\nUnsweetened green tea is a great choice— some studies show that it may increase fat-burning and weight loss.\\n6. Serve meals on smaller plates to control your portion sizes.\\nThe smaller plates make it easier to eat less in each sitting.\\nSwap out your big 11 in (28 cm) dinner plate for a 9 in (23 cm) lunch or salad plate so you fill it with fewer calories. Enjoy the food that's on your plate and don’t go back for seconds.\\nServing sizes in restaurants are usually huge! If you're eating out, order appetizers instead or share an entree with a friend.\\nDon't set out platters or bowls of food on the table since it's easy to graze or keep filling your plate.\\n7. Move your body as often as possible.\\nLook for opportunities to get up so you're not sitting for a long period of time.\\nThink about how long you sit throughout the day—when you're working at a desk, commuting to work, or using a computer, for instance. Try to stand up and move every 30 minutes to burn calories. All these little movement breaks add up!\\nIf you usually sit at a desk, switch to a standing desk. You can also get up and walk around when you're talking on the phone or even watching television.\\nTake your meetings on a walk. Instead of sitting around an office table, plan to walk and talk.\\n8. Do exercises during downtime.\\nAdd a few quick exercises whenever you have a few minutes to spare.\\nDon't have time to work out at the gym? You can increase your activity level without leaving your home! Consider all the times when you're waiting for things and do simple exercises when you can. Even a few minutes of physical activity here and there can help keep the weight off.\\nFor example, if you're waiting for dinner to finish cooking, do a few squats or planks. Watching tv or listening to a podcast? Get up and do some jumping jacks or crunches.\\n9. Aim for 30 minutes of daily physical activity.\\nRegular exercise can keep the weight off.\\nThe good news is that you don't need extreme physical activities to help you stay in shape. Exercises like walking or swimming are great ways to stay active. If you can't do 30 minutes in a single stretch, do what you can—a few short jogs or a couple of strength training sessions are great, too.\\nIf you can, mix up the types of physical activity you do. You'll be less likely to get bored with it and you'll burn calories in different ways so you're working a variety of muscles.\\n10. Get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.\\nYou'll feel more rested and have more energy for physical activity.\\nStudies have shown that not getting enough sleep can lead to weight gain. It may also disrupt hormones that control your appetite and hunger, so you eat more. To keep your metabolism in check, try to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.\\nSkip snacks before bed and try to stop eating after your last meal of the day.\\n11. Do stress-reducing activities every day.\\nYou're more likely to eat when you're stressed, so try coping activities instead.\\nResearch shows that stress or anxiety can lower your energy levels so you feel less active. It can also negatively impact your metabolism. Instead of eating when you're stressed, you might try:\\nLearning meditation and mindfulness techniques\\nPracticing breathing techniques\\nDoing gentle stretching or practicing yoga\\nGetting regular massages\\nLearning a new sport or hobby\\n12. Develop a body-positive mindset.\\nTurn negative thoughts about your weight into body-positive reminders.\\nIt's easy to fall into the trap of obsessing over your weight. This can lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. Instead of spending time on these thoughts, stop yourself and take a moment to focus on something you like about yourself.\\nFor example, stop yourself from worrying about how much you weigh. Think to yourself, \\\"I'm grateful I have a healthy body and I'm just the right size for me!\\\"\\nTips\\nAvoid banning foods from your diet—this can add stress. Instead, limit high-calorie or unhealthy foods so you can occasionally enjoy them.[14]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nHelpGuide\\nNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.\\nGo to source\\nResearch shows that probiotics like Lactobacillus gasseri may help you manage your weight by blocking fat absorption.[15]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nPubMed Central\\nJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health\\nGo to source\\nAdd a few spicy foods to your meals for an easy way to boost your metabolism. Spice your foods with sriracha sauce, jalapenos, or harissa, for instance.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You probably know thin people who never count calories, keep a food journal, or follow fad diets. If you want to know their secret, realize that they've probably just got different attitudes towards food and exercise, and there are lifestyle changes you can make to be more like them. \\n\\nHere are 12 effective ways to keep weight off and maintain a thin figure.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat regular meals when you feel hungry.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy nutritious meals or snacks instead of skipping meals.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to your body's cues and eat when you're hungry. While eating smaller more frequent meals won't boost your metabolism, it will stop you from getting too hungry and overeating when you do sit down to eat.\\nPlan on eating a meal or healthy snack every 3 or 4 hours. You'll make more nutritious choices if you don't wait until you're absolutely starving to eat.\\nStart your day with a nutritious breakfast instead of skipping it. Try Greek yogurt or eggs with fruit and a piece of whole-grain toast, for instance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Savor your food and stop eating as soon as you feel full.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Chew your food slowly and enjoy every bite.\", \"描述\": \"When you eat slowly, it gives your body time to send a signal to your brain that it's full and you can stop eating. Give yourself at least 15 to 20 minutes to eat a meal so you don't eat too quickly. Once you feel full, stop eating!\\nYou've probably experienced this before—you're really hungry, so you eat as fast as possible. You most likely ate a lot of food and then felt really full. Eating slowly can prevent this from happening in the future.\\nIt takes about 15-20 minutes for the hunger center in your brain to process the signal that you’re full. Eating slowly or taking a break in the middle of your meal can give your stomach and brain time to catch up so that you don’t overeat.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat lean protein and lots of produce every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You'll get energy from the protein and tons of nutrients from fruits and veggies.\", \"描述\": \"These are also great low-calorie options compared to carbohydrates like pasta and bread. Eating protein at each meal will curb your appetite, while fruits and vegetables are full of vitamins that your body needs. Great low-calorie options include:\\nTurkey, chicken, salmon, and eggs\\nPlant-based alternatives like tofu and soy\\nLow-fat dairy like yogurt or milk\\nLeafy greens like spinach, arugula, and kale\\nStrawberries, bananas, oranges, pineapple, and grapes\\nCarrots, tomatoes, squash, bell peppers, broccoli, and asparagus\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Cut back on saturated fats, sugar, and processed food.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Limit the unhealthy fats that you eat every day to prevent weight gain.\", \"描述\": \"It's true that some fat, like polyunsaturated fat, is good for you. But unhealthy fats, like saturated or trans fats, are often found in high-calorie foods. Eating these every day can make it harder to stay thin. To keep the weight off, avoid foods like:\\nDoughnuts, cookies, crackers, muffins, pies, and cakes\\nRed meats, deli meats, butter, and full-fat cheese\\nFried foods and fast food\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Skip high-calorie beverages.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sugary beverages and alcohol are high in calories, so take them out of your diet.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to sip on soda or juice throughout the day, but they're full of calories that add up fast. Cutting out just 1 soda or sports drink a day can save you 150 calories! Stick with water and sugar-free beverages for an easy way to make a big change in your diet.\\nUnsweetened green tea is a great choice— some studies show that it may increase fat-burning and weight loss.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Serve meals on smaller plates to control your portion sizes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The smaller plates make it easier to eat less in each sitting.\", \"描述\": \"Swap out your big 11 in (28 cm) dinner plate for a 9 in (23 cm) lunch or salad plate so you fill it with fewer calories. Enjoy the food that's on your plate and don’t go back for seconds.\\nServing sizes in restaurants are usually huge! If you're eating out, order appetizers instead or share an entree with a friend.\\nDon't set out platters or bowls of food on the table since it's easy to graze or keep filling your plate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Move your body as often as possible.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for opportunities to get up so you're not sitting for a long period of time.\", \"描述\": \"Think about how long you sit throughout the day—when you're working at a desk, commuting to work, or using a computer, for instance. Try to stand up and move every 30 minutes to burn calories. All these little movement breaks add up!\\nIf you usually sit at a desk, switch to a standing desk. You can also get up and walk around when you're talking on the phone or even watching television.\\nTake your meetings on a walk. Instead of sitting around an office table, plan to walk and talk.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do exercises during downtime.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add a few quick exercises whenever you have a few minutes to spare.\", \"描述\": \"Don't have time to work out at the gym? You can increase your activity level without leaving your home! Consider all the times when you're waiting for things and do simple exercises when you can. Even a few minutes of physical activity here and there can help keep the weight off.\\nFor example, if you're waiting for dinner to finish cooking, do a few squats or planks. Watching tv or listening to a podcast? Get up and do some jumping jacks or crunches.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Aim for 30 minutes of daily physical activity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Regular exercise can keep the weight off.\", \"描述\": \"The good news is that you don't need extreme physical activities to help you stay in shape. Exercises like walking or swimming are great ways to stay active. If you can't do 30 minutes in a single stretch, do what you can—a few short jogs or a couple of strength training sessions are great, too.\\nIf you can, mix up the types of physical activity you do. You'll be less likely to get bored with it and you'll burn calories in different ways so you're working a variety of muscles.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You'll feel more rested and have more energy for physical activity.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that not getting enough sleep can lead to weight gain. It may also disrupt hormones that control your appetite and hunger, so you eat more. To keep your metabolism in check, try to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night.\\nSkip snacks before bed and try to stop eating after your last meal of the day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Do stress-reducing activities every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You're more likely to eat when you're stressed, so try coping activities instead.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that stress or anxiety can lower your energy levels so you feel less active. It can also negatively impact your metabolism. Instead of eating when you're stressed, you might try:\\nLearning meditation and mindfulness techniques\\nPracticing breathing techniques\\nDoing gentle stretching or practicing yoga\\nGetting regular massages\\nLearning a new sport or hobby\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Develop a body-positive mindset.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turn negative thoughts about your weight into body-positive reminders.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to fall into the trap of obsessing over your weight. This can lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. Instead of spending time on these thoughts, stop yourself and take a moment to focus on something you like about yourself.\\nFor example, stop yourself from worrying about how much you weigh. Think to yourself, \\\"I'm grateful I have a healthy body and I'm just the right size for me!\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid banning foods from your diet—this can add stress. Instead, limit high-calorie or unhealthy foods so you can occasionally enjoy them.[14]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nHelpGuide\\nNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Research shows that probiotics like Lactobacillus gasseri may help you manage your weight by blocking fat absorption.[15]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nPubMed Central\\nJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Add a few spicy foods to your meals for an easy way to boost your metabolism. Spice your foods with sriracha sauce, jalapenos, or harissa, for instance.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,976 | How to Be Naughty | 1. Fooling Around
1-1. Take control.
Take control in the bedroom. Be bossy. Tell your partner what to do. This is very sexy, even if it seems bad at first. Well, that it seems bad is kind of the point, really. This is also healthy for you because it will help you develop a more satisfying, equal sex life.
1-2. Learn to tease.
Go slow. Draw things out. Don't go straight for the obvious organ. Explore erogenous zones like ears, backs of the knee, and the inner thigh. Try not even touching your partner. Get them to the point where they're begging you to give them release. Then tease just a few seconds longer before giving in.
You can tease in everyday situations too, not just in the bedroom. For example, if you're a girl, you could slip your significant other your panties while you're out in public. Make a restroom run and then discreetly slip them into your partner's pocket.
1-3. Talk dirty
Try talking dirty. Put on your sexiest voice and start getting very good with adjectives and verbs. Telling your partner where and what you'd like them to do, or even telling them that you are super aroused can be an incredible turn-on.
1-4. Move outside the bedroom.
Sex doesn't just have to happen in the bedroom. Breaking from the norm and taking it outside of the bed can add a real naughtiness factor. You can surprise your partner in the shower or turn a nighttime movie on the couch into something a bit more.
1-5. Role play a little.
Role playing is a classic way to spice up a relationship and choosing the right role can really add a naughty factor. Feminine people can go for the naughty schoolgirl or secretary thing, while masculine people could try the eager cop or doctor.
1-6. Set a record for yourselves.
Another trick to try would be breaking your own record for how many times you've gone at it in a day or how many places you did it in. Keep track (you can even make yourself a scoreboard and prizes) and be vocal about your goal.
1-7. Introduce toys.
Adult toys are another good way to get a little naughty in your relationship. There are lots of toys which increase pleasure for any gender. Surprise your partner with some presents! It wasn't even your birthday...
1-8. Keep things fresh.
The main goal is to always be keeping things fresh and not getting stuck in a rut. You will find that simply by prioritizing your sex life and keeping it interesting, the gimmicks like "naughty" become much less important.
2. Getting a Naughty Look
2-1. Change up your hair or makeup.
Get a sexier haircut or try some sexier makeup looks. Any hair stylist should be able to help you on the hair front and Youtube is awash with great makeup tutorials.
2-2. Do some creative shaving.
You can shave or wax off all your downstairs hair, or you can get really creative and trim it into a heart shape. This will give your partner a fun little surprise and show that you have sex on your mind.
2-3. Practice some staging.
Take advantage of your clothing an environment to show your significant other exactly what you have in mind. You can try cooking in the nude, and time it so that your partner comes home to that pleasant sight, or you can go full rose-petals-and-candles in the bedroom. There are lots of ways to go about it, so get creative.
2-4. Add to your wardrobe.
Ditch those granny panties and that old stretched out shirt and start by making your wardrobe sexier, from the ground up. Sexier underwear, sexier everyday clothes, maybe even a sexy date outfit. You've got to get the look if you really want to make it convincing for your partner.
2-5. Work out.
No, we don't mean work out to get thinner and more traditionally sexy. Tradition is boring. You should work out because studies have shown that physical exertion increases sexual pleasure and appetite. Try going for a light jog before your partner comes home.
3. Recognizing Boundaries
3-1. Ask first!
You don't have to constantly be asking them how they're doing in the moment, but a good way to work up to naughty play is to ask them about their fantasies well in advance of trying anything new. Ask in a sexy voice for bonus points.
3-2. Look for your partner's reactions.
While you're trying new things, look at how your partner reacts. Don't just listen to what they say afterwards: watch how they react in the moment. If they seem to stiffen or shy away, they may not be enjoying it as much as they say.
3-3. Take things slowly.
Don't go from Sunday School to full Marquis de Sade in the course of a day. This can make a partner panic if it wasn't a specifically requested fantasy. Work your way up the kink chain in order to maximize the pleasure of the experiences for both of you.
3-4. Keep regular life and bedroom life separate.
Just because your partner likes being called certain things in the bedroom doesn't mean you should call them that outside. You also should try not to let behaviors that you pick up affect you outside of the bedroom. Remember that real life and your sex life are two separate things.
3-5. Don't do anything you'll regret.
Don't do anything in the name of naughtiness that you might later regret, especially if you're young. The Internet being what it is these days, it's really easy for pics to get leaked and your life can be ruined before you know it. Avoid taking nude pics (no matter how stable your relationship is), and while sex tapes can be fun, they're best reserved for happily married couples that have been together for a very long time.
Even with explicit trust between each other, it's important to remember that there are other ways for your data to get leaked. Like hackers.
4. Getting Comfortable with Yourself
4-1. Stop apologizing.
The most important thing to be convincingly naughty with your significant other is to be confident and comfortable with yourself. The first step to being more confident and comfortable is to stop apologizing to everyone. Stop apologizing for not being sexier, stop apologizing for gaining weight, stop apologizing for wanting to have sex. You have desires and needs and feelings, and they are valid.
4-2. Stop trying to look like a movie star.
You don't need to look like a movie star or a porn star to be worthy of your partner or for them to think you're sexy. They chose you. They're with you. They think you're sexy. Besides, sexy is mostly about how you act, not how you look.
4-3. Celebrate your positives.
Find the best things about yourself (your attitude, your best feature) and celebrate that thing. Whether it's your pert little butt or your great 'tracks of land', or your muscles, it's all good! You have to know what you can build on, while also giving yourself a sort of grounding point to help you remember that you are, in fact, a total fox.
4-4. Embrace your sexual side.
You are a sexual creature. That is normal and, really, a great thing. If you're spending a bunch of time being too embarrassed about sex to really enjoy it, then you're not going to be very good at this naughty thing. Be sexual. Be okay with being sexual. This is very important.
4-5. Figure out what gives you pleasure.
Comfortable with that sexual side now? Good. Now experiment, either solo or with a partner, and explore your body. Figure out what really brings you pleasure. Find your "on" button. You'd think that being naughty is all about pleasuring your partner, but it's also about telling your partner (in a very naughty manner) exactly how to pleasure you.
Tips
Watch porn together to get ideas for fun things to try.
Warnings
Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that compromises your or your partner's safety.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Fooling Around\\n1-1. Take control.\\nTake control in the bedroom. Be bossy. Tell your partner what to do. This is very sexy, even if it seems bad at first. Well, that it seems bad is kind of the point, really. This is also healthy for you because it will help you develop a more satisfying, equal sex life.\\n1-2. Learn to tease.\\nGo slow. Draw things out. Don't go straight for the obvious organ. Explore erogenous zones like ears, backs of the knee, and the inner thigh. Try not even touching your partner. Get them to the point where they're begging you to give them release. Then tease just a few seconds longer before giving in.\\nYou can tease in everyday situations too, not just in the bedroom. For example, if you're a girl, you could slip your significant other your panties while you're out in public. Make a restroom run and then discreetly slip them into your partner's pocket.\\n1-3. Talk dirty\\nTry talking dirty. Put on your sexiest voice and start getting very good with adjectives and verbs. Telling your partner where and what you'd like them to do, or even telling them that you are super aroused can be an incredible turn-on.\\n1-4. Move outside the bedroom.\\nSex doesn't just have to happen in the bedroom. Breaking from the norm and taking it outside of the bed can add a real naughtiness factor. You can surprise your partner in the shower or turn a nighttime movie on the couch into something a bit more.\\n1-5. Role play a little.\\nRole playing is a classic way to spice up a relationship and choosing the right role can really add a naughty factor. Feminine people can go for the naughty schoolgirl or secretary thing, while masculine people could try the eager cop or doctor.\\n1-6. Set a record for yourselves.\\nAnother trick to try would be breaking your own record for how many times you've gone at it in a day or how many places you did it in. Keep track (you can even make yourself a scoreboard and prizes) and be vocal about your goal.\\n1-7. Introduce toys.\\nAdult toys are another good way to get a little naughty in your relationship. There are lots of toys which increase pleasure for any gender. Surprise your partner with some presents! It wasn't even your birthday...\\n1-8. Keep things fresh.\\nThe main goal is to always be keeping things fresh and not getting stuck in a rut. You will find that simply by prioritizing your sex life and keeping it interesting, the gimmicks like \\\"naughty\\\" become much less important.\\n2. Getting a Naughty Look\\n2-1. Change up your hair or makeup.\\nGet a sexier haircut or try some sexier makeup looks. Any hair stylist should be able to help you on the hair front and Youtube is awash with great makeup tutorials.\\n2-2. Do some creative shaving.\\nYou can shave or wax off all your downstairs hair, or you can get really creative and trim it into a heart shape. This will give your partner a fun little surprise and show that you have sex on your mind.\\n2-3. Practice some staging.\\nTake advantage of your clothing an environment to show your significant other exactly what you have in mind. You can try cooking in the nude, and time it so that your partner comes home to that pleasant sight, or you can go full rose-petals-and-candles in the bedroom. There are lots of ways to go about it, so get creative.\\n2-4. Add to your wardrobe.\\nDitch those granny panties and that old stretched out shirt and start by making your wardrobe sexier, from the ground up. Sexier underwear, sexier everyday clothes, maybe even a sexy date outfit. You've got to get the look if you really want to make it convincing for your partner.\\n2-5. Work out.\\nNo, we don't mean work out to get thinner and more traditionally sexy. Tradition is boring. You should work out because studies have shown that physical exertion increases sexual pleasure and appetite. Try going for a light jog before your partner comes home.\\n3. Recognizing Boundaries\\n3-1. Ask first!\\nYou don't have to constantly be asking them how they're doing in the moment, but a good way to work up to naughty play is to ask them about their fantasies well in advance of trying anything new. Ask in a sexy voice for bonus points.\\n3-2. Look for your partner's reactions.\\nWhile you're trying new things, look at how your partner reacts. Don't just listen to what they say afterwards: watch how they react in the moment. If they seem to stiffen or shy away, they may not be enjoying it as much as they say.\\n3-3. Take things slowly.\\nDon't go from Sunday School to full Marquis de Sade in the course of a day. This can make a partner panic if it wasn't a specifically requested fantasy. Work your way up the kink chain in order to maximize the pleasure of the experiences for both of you.\\n3-4. Keep regular life and bedroom life separate.\\nJust because your partner likes being called certain things in the bedroom doesn't mean you should call them that outside. You also should try not to let behaviors that you pick up affect you outside of the bedroom. Remember that real life and your sex life are two separate things.\\n3-5. Don't do anything you'll regret.\\nDon't do anything in the name of naughtiness that you might later regret, especially if you're young. The Internet being what it is these days, it's really easy for pics to get leaked and your life can be ruined before you know it. Avoid taking nude pics (no matter how stable your relationship is), and while sex tapes can be fun, they're best reserved for happily married couples that have been together for a very long time.\\nEven with explicit trust between each other, it's important to remember that there are other ways for your data to get leaked. Like hackers.\\n4. Getting Comfortable with Yourself\\n4-1. Stop apologizing.\\nThe most important thing to be convincingly naughty with your significant other is to be confident and comfortable with yourself. The first step to being more confident and comfortable is to stop apologizing to everyone. Stop apologizing for not being sexier, stop apologizing for gaining weight, stop apologizing for wanting to have sex. You have desires and needs and feelings, and they are valid.\\n4-2. Stop trying to look like a movie star.\\nYou don't need to look like a movie star or a porn star to be worthy of your partner or for them to think you're sexy. They chose you. They're with you. They think you're sexy. Besides, sexy is mostly about how you act, not how you look.\\n4-3. Celebrate your positives.\\nFind the best things about yourself (your attitude, your best feature) and celebrate that thing. Whether it's your pert little butt or your great 'tracks of land', or your muscles, it's all good! You have to know what you can build on, while also giving yourself a sort of grounding point to help you remember that you are, in fact, a total fox.\\n4-4. Embrace your sexual side.\\nYou are a sexual creature. That is normal and, really, a great thing. If you're spending a bunch of time being too embarrassed about sex to really enjoy it, then you're not going to be very good at this naughty thing. Be sexual. Be okay with being sexual. This is very important.\\n4-5. Figure out what gives you pleasure.\\nComfortable with that sexual side now? Good. Now experiment, either solo or with a partner, and explore your body. Figure out what really brings you pleasure. Find your \\\"on\\\" button. You'd think that being naughty is all about pleasuring your partner, but it's also about telling your partner (in a very naughty manner) exactly how to pleasure you.\\nTips\\nWatch porn together to get ideas for fun things to try.\\nWarnings\\nNever do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that compromises your or your partner's safety.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Is your relationship feeling a bit flat? Boring? Has your partner previously been with that cliché bad boy/girl and you want to make sure you measure up? You can breathe some life back into your relationship and keep things caliente by mastering the art of being naughty. Surprise your partner and yourself! Get started with Step 1 below to find out how.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fooling Around\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take control.\", \"描述\": \"Take control in the bedroom. Be bossy. Tell your partner what to do. This is very sexy, even if it seems bad at first. Well, that it seems bad is kind of the point, really. This is also healthy for you because it will help you develop a more satisfying, equal sex life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to tease.\", \"描述\": \"Go slow. Draw things out. Don't go straight for the obvious organ. Explore erogenous zones like ears, backs of the knee, and the inner thigh. Try not even touching your partner. Get them to the point where they're begging you to give them release. Then tease just a few seconds longer before giving in.\\nYou can tease in everyday situations too, not just in the bedroom. For example, if you're a girl, you could slip your significant other your panties while you're out in public. Make a restroom run and then discreetly slip them into your partner's pocket.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk dirty\", \"描述\": \"Try talking dirty. Put on your sexiest voice and start getting very good with adjectives and verbs. Telling your partner where and what you'd like them to do, or even telling them that you are super aroused can be an incredible turn-on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Move outside the bedroom.\", \"描述\": \"Sex doesn't just have to happen in the bedroom. Breaking from the norm and taking it outside of the bed can add a real naughtiness factor. You can surprise your partner in the shower or turn a nighttime movie on the couch into something a bit more.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Role play a little.\", \"描述\": \"Role playing is a classic way to spice up a relationship and choosing the right role can really add a naughty factor. Feminine people can go for the naughty schoolgirl or secretary thing, while masculine people could try the eager cop or doctor.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Set a record for yourselves.\", \"描述\": \"Another trick to try would be breaking your own record for how many times you've gone at it in a day or how many places you did it in. Keep track (you can even make yourself a scoreboard and prizes) and be vocal about your goal.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Introduce toys.\", \"描述\": \"Adult toys are another good way to get a little naughty in your relationship. There are lots of toys which increase pleasure for any gender. Surprise your partner with some presents! It wasn't even your birthday...\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Keep things fresh.\", \"描述\": \"The main goal is to always be keeping things fresh and not getting stuck in a rut. You will find that simply by prioritizing your sex life and keeping it interesting, the gimmicks like \\\"naughty\\\" become much less important.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting a Naughty Look\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Change up your hair or makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Get a sexier haircut or try some sexier makeup looks. Any hair stylist should be able to help you on the hair front and Youtube is awash with great makeup tutorials.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do some creative shaving.\", \"描述\": \"You can shave or wax off all your downstairs hair, or you can get really creative and trim it into a heart shape. This will give your partner a fun little surprise and show that you have sex on your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice some staging.\", \"描述\": \"Take advantage of your clothing an environment to show your significant other exactly what you have in mind. You can try cooking in the nude, and time it so that your partner comes home to that pleasant sight, or you can go full rose-petals-and-candles in the bedroom. There are lots of ways to go about it, so get creative.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add to your wardrobe.\", \"描述\": \"Ditch those granny panties and that old stretched out shirt and start by making your wardrobe sexier, from the ground up. Sexier underwear, sexier everyday clothes, maybe even a sexy date outfit. You've got to get the look if you really want to make it convincing for your partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work out.\", \"描述\": \"No, we don't mean work out to get thinner and more traditionally sexy. Tradition is boring. You should work out because studies have shown that physical exertion increases sexual pleasure and appetite. Try going for a light jog before your partner comes home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognizing Boundaries\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask first!\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to constantly be asking them how they're doing in the moment, but a good way to work up to naughty play is to ask them about their fantasies well in advance of trying anything new. Ask in a sexy voice for bonus points.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for your partner's reactions.\", \"描述\": \"While you're trying new things, look at how your partner reacts. Don't just listen to what they say afterwards: watch how they react in the moment. If they seem to stiffen or shy away, they may not be enjoying it as much as they say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take things slowly.\", \"描述\": \"Don't go from Sunday School to full Marquis de Sade in the course of a day. This can make a partner panic if it wasn't a specifically requested fantasy. Work your way up the kink chain in order to maximize the pleasure of the experiences for both of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep regular life and bedroom life separate.\", \"描述\": \"Just because your partner likes being called certain things in the bedroom doesn't mean you should call them that outside. You also should try not to let behaviors that you pick up affect you outside of the bedroom. Remember that real life and your sex life are two separate things.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't do anything you'll regret.\", \"描述\": \"Don't do anything in the name of naughtiness that you might later regret, especially if you're young. The Internet being what it is these days, it's really easy for pics to get leaked and your life can be ruined before you know it. Avoid taking nude pics (no matter how stable your relationship is), and while sex tapes can be fun, they're best reserved for happily married couples that have been together for a very long time.\\nEven with explicit trust between each other, it's important to remember that there are other ways for your data to get leaked. Like hackers.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting Comfortable with Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"The most important thing to be convincingly naughty with your significant other is to be confident and comfortable with yourself. The first step to being more confident and comfortable is to stop apologizing to everyone. Stop apologizing for not being sexier, stop apologizing for gaining weight, stop apologizing for wanting to have sex. You have desires and needs and feelings, and they are valid.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop trying to look like a movie star.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to look like a movie star or a porn star to be worthy of your partner or for them to think you're sexy. They chose you. They're with you. They think you're sexy. Besides, sexy is mostly about how you act, not how you look.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your positives.\", \"描述\": \"Find the best things about yourself (your attitude, your best feature) and celebrate that thing. Whether it's your pert little butt or your great 'tracks of land', or your muscles, it's all good! You have to know what you can build on, while also giving yourself a sort of grounding point to help you remember that you are, in fact, a total fox.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Embrace your sexual side.\", \"描述\": \"You are a sexual creature. That is normal and, really, a great thing. If you're spending a bunch of time being too embarrassed about sex to really enjoy it, then you're not going to be very good at this naughty thing. Be sexual. Be okay with being sexual. This is very important.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Figure out what gives you pleasure.\", \"描述\": \"Comfortable with that sexual side now? Good. Now experiment, either solo or with a partner, and explore your body. Figure out what really brings you pleasure. Find your \\\"on\\\" button. You'd think that being naughty is all about pleasuring your partner, but it's also about telling your partner (in a very naughty manner) exactly how to pleasure you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Watch porn together to get ideas for fun things to try.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that compromises your or your partner's safety.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,977 | How to Be Neat and Tidy | 1. Tidying the House
1-1. Clean the kitchen.
Good housekeeping is a must when it comes to being neat and tidy, and the kitchen is one of the places that should be kept clean to keep out bugs and maintain a clean food prep area. Bacteria grows on counters when they are not kept clean, which can make you sick if you prepare meals on them.
Put things back where they belong. If you have bags of chips by the microwave, put the bag of chips in the pantry. If you have spices laying around your counters, put them up in the shelf along with the sugars and starches.
Wipe off the counters and sweep the floors to clean up any crumbs. You don't want bugs crawling around.
Wash the dishes. Dishes piled in the sink instantly makes the room look messy and it's also unsanitary.
Take out the trash and recycling. Again, you don't want stinky smells or unsightly creatures crawling around your kitchen area.
Wipe down the stove and refrigerator.
Organize your fridge by putting the butter, bread, and eggs on a shelf. Place the yogurts and leftovers on the top shelf, and put the milk and juice on the middle shelf. That way, you can find things easily because it's in the proper place.
1-2. Vacuum or sweep the floors in the entire house.
If you wear shoes and socks in the house, you're tracking dirt through your home. Even if you're just wearing socks, you can still track dirt attached to your socks through the house.Vacuuming and sweeping also give you a chance to move any obstructions in the halls and make you notice how many misplaced items are on the floor.
Vacuum or sweep room by room. Pick up any items on the floor and place them in a basket or container.
Once you're done, walk around each room of the house with the basket and put the items back where they belong. For instance, any cups or plates in the basket should go back to the kitchen. Any shoes in the basket, should be put back in the closet.
1-3. Scrub the bathrooms.
Dirt, grime, mold and even bacteria can build on bathroom tile and around the toilet bowl, so it's important to clean the bathroom regularly. Spray your bathroom toilets, tile and bathtub with your favorite bathroom cleaner. Then, get a scrub brush and clean away and the dirt and grime.
Wipe down the counters and place items back in the medicine cabinet or in the drawers.
Attempt to group things by category as you put them away. For instance, group all the curling irons together and put them in one place. Put all of the toothpaste and toothbrushes in an area.
1-4. Sort and arrange the items in every room.
Tidy the room by picking up items and putting them back where they belong. Pick up the misplaced items on the floor and put them back where they belong. Make the bed. Put shoes back in the closet. Pick up the pillows off the floor.
1-5. Empty all the trashcans.
Don't let trash pile up around your home. It leads to bugs, bad smells, and it definitely makes a room look untidy. Go around to all the waste baskets in the house and empty them in a large waste bin. Then, take out the trash.
2. Decluttering Your Home
2-1. Get rid of items you don't need.
Go through your belongings and set aside the items you no longer want or need, or simply put items back where they belong. For instance, put clean clothes back in their drawers or hang them up. Make sure dirty clothes end up in a hamper. Toss out broken or badly worn items.
Go through your closets and remove clothes that no longer fit. Any clothes with stains, rips or tears should be put in a bag as well.
Old toys, games, broken items and unwanted items should be set aside to be given away or sold. Seek obvious clutter -- clutter on the floors and counters. For instance, if you have two knife blocks, you can probably give one away to make more counter space.
Once you have set aside the items you don't want, separate them into a sell pile and give away pile. You may need separate bags or boxes for each category of item.
List the gently used items on Craigslist or give them away to charity, a family member or friend
2-2. Declutter the hidden cluttered areas.
Disorganized drawers and closets offer the illusion of a clean and tidy room because you can simply close the door and hide the mess. Yet, once you open the closet door, items come tumbling out, or you're unable to find anything in the messy closet. So, if you have drawers that you can barely close, then it's time to go through them and sort them.
Empty out the drawers completely and toss out anything broken. Set aside items that you may need like keys, and place stray items, such as batteries, that have been rolling around in the drawer in a basket for organization later.
Once you have it sorted, neatly place the items back in the drawer. Note if you need an organizer to help keep everything together neatly.
2-3. Throw away old mail.
You don't need to keep every bill or piece of mail forever. Stacks of mail piled up on your counters or inside desk drawers creates a mess -- both hidden and unhidden. Go through the stacks of mail, newspapers and coupons while sorting out recent mail you need to keep from expired coupons and tattered newspapers. Toss out or recycle the old stuff.
Like a pile of dishes in the sink, stacks of mail make a room look untidy and unkempt. Utility bills and paycheck stubs don't need to be kept longer than a year. ATM receipts can be tossed out after a few days. Set aside the coupons and mail that you need to keep. Throw away the rest.
Once you have sorted the mail you're going to keep, neatly place the items back where they belong. Make a mental note about if a mail organizer is necessary.
2-4. Hang up and put away clothes.
Piles and piles of clothes strewn across a room make it appear messy even if everything else in the room is tidy. Set aside the clean clothes and place them in drawers or hang them up. Fold clean unfolded clothes and put them away. Put unwanted clothes in a bag to be given away or sold.
Shoes strewn across the room or piled up in a corner is no less of a mess. Set shoes upright in the closet, and put any unwanted shoes in the “give away” or “ to be sold” bag.
2-5. Make a list of needed organization items.
As you clean, make a list of organization materials that you might need to keep everything tidy. For instance, you might need a shoe rack to keep your closet neat. Do you need more hangers? What about a desk organizer? Do you need another bookshelf?
Baskets with lids are great for storage and hiding clutter. You can store items inside of them without having to look at everything you own.
If you don't have a lot of floor space, then make use of your wall space. You can put up more shelves or bookcases, and this will help to free up some space to help keep everything organized.
3. Getting Rid of the Clutter
3-1. Decide what you're keeping.
Go through everything that you've pulled out of your closets and drawers and sort them into four piles: keep, give away, sell and trash. Assess the items by asking yourself a few questions: Have you used it in the past year? Would you buy the item again? Am I only keeping it because I don't want to waste money? Am I keeping it for sentimental value?
Items that should not be kept are broken items and outdated items that have been collecting dust. If you haven't used the item in many many years, it is time to dispose of it unless it is for sentimental value.
Keep the items you use frequently. Get rid of stained, torn and dusty unused items. Don't keep items simply because you think you might use it again even though you haven't used it in years. (Don't be a hoarder.)
Unused sentimental items can be stored away for safe keeping. Old t-shirts, pictures, books and stuffed animals that are purely for sentimental value can be stored away in a large storage chest. Separate them from your frequently used items so that they don't take up space.
3-2. Give away unwanted items.
These would be the items that didn't pass the test when you asked yourself the “decluttering questions, “ and you're unable to sell them for some reason. Examples of unsellable items might be outdated items, items with blemishes or heavily used items. Once you've separated the wanted items from the “giveaways,” place them in a pile away from the keep and trash pile. Give them to friends, family or charities such as the Goodwill.
3-3. Sell the items on Craigslist or Ebay.
Electronics, furniture and appliances that you simply do not need or want can be sold online. Simply take a picture of the item, and create a short listing on the website. You can make some extra money on the side selling your unwanted decluttered items, but the website you're using matters. Some websites are better than others for selling your goods.
Craigslist is best for selling furniture, appliances and electronics to local buyers in your area.
Sell old cell phones, laptops or unused supplies to an international crowd on Ebay, which allows people to bid on items or purchase them outright.
3-4. Sell used clothing and shoes.
Gently used clothing can be re-sold if they are trendy, designer or too nice to give away. Stores such as Plato's Closet or Buffalo Exchange purchase gently used clothing without stains or holes that they believe can be re-sold to its customers. Keep in mind that whether or not the store takes the items is up to the discretion of each individual store.
Local consignment shops and local chains in your area similar to Plato's Closet also are great resources for selling used clothing. Review the store's website to assess if your clothing fits the store's re-sale criteria.
3-5. Have a garage sale.
If you have a number of items to get rid of, then it may be faster to have a garage sale over a weekend. Advertise by putting signs around your neighborhood. Then, label your items and get ready to haggle. Use the money you make to purchase new organizing materials for your home.
4. Finding A Home For Everything
4-1. Assign a home for everything even the items that have no home.
Some items are easy to find a home for such as the kitchen scissors. They belong in the knife block on the kitchen counter, but where should you store the batteries you found rolling around in a drawer?
Mentally decide where everything should go so that every item has a home. Put any random items in a location you think is appropriate. For instance, put screws in a tool box. Put pens and pencils in a container on the desk. Put decorative items on a side table.
4-2. Re-organize badly organized items.
If your current bookshelves, closets, or drawers aren't laid out well, then re-organize them. You don't always have to toss out items to declutter. Sometimes you need to re-organize books, closets, shelves and the items they hold because entropy has taken over, and sometimes it's because the items were never organized well in the first place.
Restack the books on the shelves. Unfold and refold items in the linen closet that make it look messy. Take all the shoes out of the closet and then line them up in the closet again.
Assess what you may need to store everything properly. Consider boxes, baskets, shelves and underbed boxes.
Utilize your wall space to create more living space in your home. Think about hanging more items on the wall or putting up shelves if you don't have a lot of floor space.
4-3. Purchase items to store away things.
Stores such as The Container Store, Target and KMart have lots of organization materials to choose from. Don't be afraid to get creative, and consider a wide variety of materials. Cardboard office style shoe boxes are good for storing items on open shelves. Baskets, which usually don't have lids, are good for storing items you don't mind displaying like magazines or extra throw blankets.
For closet organizers, look for hanging shoe racks and clothes racks. Grab some extra- hangers and hooks if you need them. Underbed boxes are good for overflow -- stuff that doesn't have any other place to go. Use them to store seasonal clothes like sweaters.
Ottomans with interior storage areas can help you hide clutter. Also, think about bookshelves, boxes with lids and baskets to organize items like magazines that otherwise might be left laying around on the floor.
If you have any messy drawers or cabinets, think about purchasing some drawer organizers. These are good options to store loose items like tacks, coins and batteries.
Hooks and small dishes are good decorative options to store keys and loose items.
Zip ties and charging stations can help you make your area look neater by making your charging cords more organized.
4-4. Store away what you're keeping.
Once you have everything that you need, put everything away neatly in its new organizers. Use clear storage containers so that you can see what's inside. You'll thank yourself later when you're searching for your items, since you won't need to open every single box to see what it contains. Place items that you'll rarely use in storage spaces such as the attic or basement. Put more frequently used items under the bed or in the closet.
Label the boxes that are going to be stored away in closets or under the bed so that you don't have to open the boxes when you're searching for your items.
5. Maintaining a Clean and Tidy Home
5-1. Set a cleaning routine.
Left to your own devices your home might be messy again in no time. So, set a cleaning schedule to help keep you on track. The schedule will also help you create a new habit of cleaning and tidying more frequently.
Choose days for vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and taking out the trash.
Make a mental note of how many dishes you should allow to pile up in the sink before you wash them. Or, don't let them pile up at all. Wash them after every meal.
5-2. Put everything back where it belongs.
Since you've taken the time to find everything a home, establish a routine of putting items back where they belong. Making a habit of putting items back when you're done with them means you'll be less likely to allow items to pile up. Your home will stay cleaner longer.
If you live with people and you have moved some items around, make sure you tell them where everything belongs, so they can put them back too.
5-3. Assign chores.
If you live with other people, give everyone weekly or nightly chores. When maintaining the house is everyone's responsibility, the house is easier to keep clean and tidy. More people cleaning consistently equates to a cleaner home. There's power in numbers.
Task someone with doing the dishes every night or take turns.
Decide who is going to vacuum each week and clean the bathrooms. If you live alone, then you get the lucky task of doing everything alone.
5-4. Tidy up every night.
Before you go to bed, do a quick clean-up. Put dirty dishes in the sink. Pick up anything laying on the floor. Make it look nice enough so that when you wake up in the morning, the look of your home is a benefit, not a stressor.
5-5. Hire a cleaning service.
If you're really busy, hire a maid to come weekly or monthly to help you out. With busy schedules, everyone doesn't have the time to clean all the time, and there's nothing wrong with employing help. Simply do your research to ensure you find the right person to clean your home.
Tips
Stay calm. If you haven't tidied up in a while, it may seem overwhelming which makes tidying seem stressful. Ironically living in an untidy environment will make you more stressed.
Have a trash bin in every room in the house so you can throw things away anywhere.
A clean home is a clean mind.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Tidying the House\\n1-1. Clean the kitchen.\\nGood housekeeping is a must when it comes to being neat and tidy, and the kitchen is one of the places that should be kept clean to keep out bugs and maintain a clean food prep area. Bacteria grows on counters when they are not kept clean, which can make you sick if you prepare meals on them.\\nPut things back where they belong. If you have bags of chips by the microwave, put the bag of chips in the pantry. If you have spices laying around your counters, put them up in the shelf along with the sugars and starches.\\nWipe off the counters and sweep the floors to clean up any crumbs. You don't want bugs crawling around.\\nWash the dishes. Dishes piled in the sink instantly makes the room look messy and it's also unsanitary.\\nTake out the trash and recycling. Again, you don't want stinky smells or unsightly creatures crawling around your kitchen area.\\nWipe down the stove and refrigerator.\\nOrganize your fridge by putting the butter, bread, and eggs on a shelf. Place the yogurts and leftovers on the top shelf, and put the milk and juice on the middle shelf. That way, you can find things easily because it's in the proper place.\\n1-2. Vacuum or sweep the floors in the entire house.\\nIf you wear shoes and socks in the house, you're tracking dirt through your home. Even if you're just wearing socks, you can still track dirt attached to your socks through the house.Vacuuming and sweeping also give you a chance to move any obstructions in the halls and make you notice how many misplaced items are on the floor.\\nVacuum or sweep room by room. Pick up any items on the floor and place them in a basket or container.\\nOnce you're done, walk around each room of the house with the basket and put the items back where they belong. For instance, any cups or plates in the basket should go back to the kitchen. Any shoes in the basket, should be put back in the closet.\\n1-3. Scrub the bathrooms.\\nDirt, grime, mold and even bacteria can build on bathroom tile and around the toilet bowl, so it's important to clean the bathroom regularly. Spray your bathroom toilets, tile and bathtub with your favorite bathroom cleaner. Then, get a scrub brush and clean away and the dirt and grime.\\nWipe down the counters and place items back in the medicine cabinet or in the drawers.\\nAttempt to group things by category as you put them away. For instance, group all the curling irons together and put them in one place. Put all of the toothpaste and toothbrushes in an area.\\n1-4. Sort and arrange the items in every room.\\nTidy the room by picking up items and putting them back where they belong. Pick up the misplaced items on the floor and put them back where they belong. Make the bed. Put shoes back in the closet. Pick up the pillows off the floor.\\n1-5. Empty all the trashcans.\\nDon't let trash pile up around your home. It leads to bugs, bad smells, and it definitely makes a room look untidy. Go around to all the waste baskets in the house and empty them in a large waste bin. Then, take out the trash.\\n2. Decluttering Your Home\\n2-1. Get rid of items you don't need.\\nGo through your belongings and set aside the items you no longer want or need, or simply put items back where they belong. For instance, put clean clothes back in their drawers or hang them up. Make sure dirty clothes end up in a hamper. Toss out broken or badly worn items.\\nGo through your closets and remove clothes that no longer fit. Any clothes with stains, rips or tears should be put in a bag as well.\\nOld toys, games, broken items and unwanted items should be set aside to be given away or sold. Seek obvious clutter -- clutter on the floors and counters. For instance, if you have two knife blocks, you can probably give one away to make more counter space.\\nOnce you have set aside the items you don't want, separate them into a sell pile and give away pile. You may need separate bags or boxes for each category of item.\\nList the gently used items on Craigslist or give them away to charity, a family member or friend\\n2-2. Declutter the hidden cluttered areas.\\nDisorganized drawers and closets offer the illusion of a clean and tidy room because you can simply close the door and hide the mess. Yet, once you open the closet door, items come tumbling out, or you're unable to find anything in the messy closet. So, if you have drawers that you can barely close, then it's time to go through them and sort them.\\nEmpty out the drawers completely and toss out anything broken. Set aside items that you may need like keys, and place stray items, such as batteries, that have been rolling around in the drawer in a basket for organization later.\\nOnce you have it sorted, neatly place the items back in the drawer. Note if you need an organizer to help keep everything together neatly.\\n2-3. Throw away old mail.\\nYou don't need to keep every bill or piece of mail forever. Stacks of mail piled up on your counters or inside desk drawers creates a mess -- both hidden and unhidden. Go through the stacks of mail, newspapers and coupons while sorting out recent mail you need to keep from expired coupons and tattered newspapers. Toss out or recycle the old stuff.\\nLike a pile of dishes in the sink, stacks of mail make a room look untidy and unkempt. Utility bills and paycheck stubs don't need to be kept longer than a year. ATM receipts can be tossed out after a few days. Set aside the coupons and mail that you need to keep. Throw away the rest.\\nOnce you have sorted the mail you're going to keep, neatly place the items back where they belong. Make a mental note about if a mail organizer is necessary.\\n2-4. Hang up and put away clothes.\\nPiles and piles of clothes strewn across a room make it appear messy even if everything else in the room is tidy. Set aside the clean clothes and place them in drawers or hang them up. Fold clean unfolded clothes and put them away. Put unwanted clothes in a bag to be given away or sold.\\nShoes strewn across the room or piled up in a corner is no less of a mess. Set shoes upright in the closet, and put any unwanted shoes in the “give away” or “ to be sold” bag.\\n2-5. Make a list of needed organization items.\\nAs you clean, make a list of organization materials that you might need to keep everything tidy. For instance, you might need a shoe rack to keep your closet neat. Do you need more hangers? What about a desk organizer? Do you need another bookshelf? \\nBaskets with lids are great for storage and hiding clutter. You can store items inside of them without having to look at everything you own.\\nIf you don't have a lot of floor space, then make use of your wall space. You can put up more shelves or bookcases, and this will help to free up some space to help keep everything organized.\\n3. Getting Rid of the Clutter\\n3-1. Decide what you're keeping.\\nGo through everything that you've pulled out of your closets and drawers and sort them into four piles: keep, give away, sell and trash. Assess the items by asking yourself a few questions: Have you used it in the past year? Would you buy the item again? Am I only keeping it because I don't want to waste money? Am I keeping it for sentimental value?\\nItems that should not be kept are broken items and outdated items that have been collecting dust. If you haven't used the item in many many years, it is time to dispose of it unless it is for sentimental value.\\nKeep the items you use frequently. Get rid of stained, torn and dusty unused items. Don't keep items simply because you think you might use it again even though you haven't used it in years. (Don't be a hoarder.)\\nUnused sentimental items can be stored away for safe keeping. Old t-shirts, pictures, books and stuffed animals that are purely for sentimental value can be stored away in a large storage chest. Separate them from your frequently used items so that they don't take up space.\\n3-2. Give away unwanted items.\\nThese would be the items that didn't pass the test when you asked yourself the “decluttering questions, “ and you're unable to sell them for some reason. Examples of unsellable items might be outdated items, items with blemishes or heavily used items. Once you've separated the wanted items from the “giveaways,” place them in a pile away from the keep and trash pile. Give them to friends, family or charities such as the Goodwill.\\n3-3. Sell the items on Craigslist or Ebay.\\nElectronics, furniture and appliances that you simply do not need or want can be sold online. Simply take a picture of the item, and create a short listing on the website. You can make some extra money on the side selling your unwanted decluttered items, but the website you're using matters. Some websites are better than others for selling your goods.\\nCraigslist is best for selling furniture, appliances and electronics to local buyers in your area.\\nSell old cell phones, laptops or unused supplies to an international crowd on Ebay, which allows people to bid on items or purchase them outright.\\n3-4. Sell used clothing and shoes.\\nGently used clothing can be re-sold if they are trendy, designer or too nice to give away. Stores such as Plato's Closet or Buffalo Exchange purchase gently used clothing without stains or holes that they believe can be re-sold to its customers. Keep in mind that whether or not the store takes the items is up to the discretion of each individual store.\\nLocal consignment shops and local chains in your area similar to Plato's Closet also are great resources for selling used clothing. Review the store's website to assess if your clothing fits the store's re-sale criteria.\\n3-5. Have a garage sale.\\nIf you have a number of items to get rid of, then it may be faster to have a garage sale over a weekend. Advertise by putting signs around your neighborhood. Then, label your items and get ready to haggle. Use the money you make to purchase new organizing materials for your home.\\n4. Finding A Home For Everything\\n4-1. Assign a home for everything even the items that have no home.\\nSome items are easy to find a home for such as the kitchen scissors. They belong in the knife block on the kitchen counter, but where should you store the batteries you found rolling around in a drawer?\\nMentally decide where everything should go so that every item has a home. Put any random items in a location you think is appropriate. For instance, put screws in a tool box. Put pens and pencils in a container on the desk. Put decorative items on a side table.\\n4-2. Re-organize badly organized items.\\nIf your current bookshelves, closets, or drawers aren't laid out well, then re-organize them. You don't always have to toss out items to declutter. Sometimes you need to re-organize books, closets, shelves and the items they hold because entropy has taken over, and sometimes it's because the items were never organized well in the first place.\\nRestack the books on the shelves. Unfold and refold items in the linen closet that make it look messy. Take all the shoes out of the closet and then line them up in the closet again.\\nAssess what you may need to store everything properly. Consider boxes, baskets, shelves and underbed boxes.\\nUtilize your wall space to create more living space in your home. Think about hanging more items on the wall or putting up shelves if you don't have a lot of floor space.\\n4-3. Purchase items to store away things.\\nStores such as The Container Store, Target and KMart have lots of organization materials to choose from. Don't be afraid to get creative, and consider a wide variety of materials. Cardboard office style shoe boxes are good for storing items on open shelves. Baskets, which usually don't have lids, are good for storing items you don't mind displaying like magazines or extra throw blankets.\\nFor closet organizers, look for hanging shoe racks and clothes racks. Grab some extra- hangers and hooks if you need them. Underbed boxes are good for overflow -- stuff that doesn't have any other place to go. Use them to store seasonal clothes like sweaters.\\nOttomans with interior storage areas can help you hide clutter. Also, think about bookshelves, boxes with lids and baskets to organize items like magazines that otherwise might be left laying around on the floor.\\nIf you have any messy drawers or cabinets, think about purchasing some drawer organizers. These are good options to store loose items like tacks, coins and batteries.\\nHooks and small dishes are good decorative options to store keys and loose items.\\nZip ties and charging stations can help you make your area look neater by making your charging cords more organized.\\n4-4. Store away what you're keeping.\\nOnce you have everything that you need, put everything away neatly in its new organizers. Use clear storage containers so that you can see what's inside. You'll thank yourself later when you're searching for your items, since you won't need to open every single box to see what it contains. Place items that you'll rarely use in storage spaces such as the attic or basement. Put more frequently used items under the bed or in the closet.\\nLabel the boxes that are going to be stored away in closets or under the bed so that you don't have to open the boxes when you're searching for your items.\\n5. Maintaining a Clean and Tidy Home\\n5-1. Set a cleaning routine.\\nLeft to your own devices your home might be messy again in no time. So, set a cleaning schedule to help keep you on track. The schedule will also help you create a new habit of cleaning and tidying more frequently.\\nChoose days for vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and taking out the trash.\\nMake a mental note of how many dishes you should allow to pile up in the sink before you wash them. Or, don't let them pile up at all. Wash them after every meal.\\n5-2. Put everything back where it belongs.\\nSince you've taken the time to find everything a home, establish a routine of putting items back where they belong. Making a habit of putting items back when you're done with them means you'll be less likely to allow items to pile up. Your home will stay cleaner longer.\\nIf you live with people and you have moved some items around, make sure you tell them where everything belongs, so they can put them back too.\\n5-3. Assign chores.\\nIf you live with other people, give everyone weekly or nightly chores. When maintaining the house is everyone's responsibility, the house is easier to keep clean and tidy. More people cleaning consistently equates to a cleaner home. There's power in numbers.\\nTask someone with doing the dishes every night or take turns.\\nDecide who is going to vacuum each week and clean the bathrooms. If you live alone, then you get the lucky task of doing everything alone.\\n5-4. Tidy up every night.\\nBefore you go to bed, do a quick clean-up. Put dirty dishes in the sink. Pick up anything laying on the floor. Make it look nice enough so that when you wake up in the morning, the look of your home is a benefit, not a stressor.\\n5-5. Hire a cleaning service.\\nIf you're really busy, hire a maid to come weekly or monthly to help you out. With busy schedules, everyone doesn't have the time to clean all the time, and there's nothing wrong with employing help. Simply do your research to ensure you find the right person to clean your home.\\nTips\\nStay calm. If you haven't tidied up in a while, it may seem overwhelming which makes tidying seem stressful. Ironically living in an untidy environment will make you more stressed.\\nHave a trash bin in every room in the house so you can throw things away anywhere.\\nA clean home is a clean mind.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being neat and tidy is not just a matter of putting things back in their places. It's a reflection of habits, routines and mindsets. When you're busy and bogged down with work, sometimes your living space can get a little untidy. Organizing it and keeping it clean not only makes your space more livable, but more comfortable. You may even function better in a cleaner space.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tidying the House\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Clean the kitchen.\", \"描述\": \"Good housekeeping is a must when it comes to being neat and tidy, and the kitchen is one of the places that should be kept clean to keep out bugs and maintain a clean food prep area. Bacteria grows on counters when they are not kept clean, which can make you sick if you prepare meals on them.\\nPut things back where they belong. If you have bags of chips by the microwave, put the bag of chips in the pantry. If you have spices laying around your counters, put them up in the shelf along with the sugars and starches.\\nWipe off the counters and sweep the floors to clean up any crumbs. You don't want bugs crawling around.\\nWash the dishes. Dishes piled in the sink instantly makes the room look messy and it's also unsanitary.\\nTake out the trash and recycling. Again, you don't want stinky smells or unsightly creatures crawling around your kitchen area.\\nWipe down the stove and refrigerator.\\nOrganize your fridge by putting the butter, bread, and eggs on a shelf. Place the yogurts and leftovers on the top shelf, and put the milk and juice on the middle shelf. That way, you can find things easily because it's in the proper place.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Vacuum or sweep the floors in the entire house.\", \"描述\": \"If you wear shoes and socks in the house, you're tracking dirt through your home. Even if you're just wearing socks, you can still track dirt attached to your socks through the house.Vacuuming and sweeping also give you a chance to move any obstructions in the halls and make you notice how many misplaced items are on the floor.\\nVacuum or sweep room by room. Pick up any items on the floor and place them in a basket or container.\\nOnce you're done, walk around each room of the house with the basket and put the items back where they belong. For instance, any cups or plates in the basket should go back to the kitchen. Any shoes in the basket, should be put back in the closet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Scrub the bathrooms.\", \"描述\": \"Dirt, grime, mold and even bacteria can build on bathroom tile and around the toilet bowl, so it's important to clean the bathroom regularly. Spray your bathroom toilets, tile and bathtub with your favorite bathroom cleaner. Then, get a scrub brush and clean away and the dirt and grime.\\nWipe down the counters and place items back in the medicine cabinet or in the drawers.\\nAttempt to group things by category as you put them away. For instance, group all the curling irons together and put them in one place. Put all of the toothpaste and toothbrushes in an area.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sort and arrange the items in every room.\", \"描述\": \"Tidy the room by picking up items and putting them back where they belong. Pick up the misplaced items on the floor and put them back where they belong. Make the bed. Put shoes back in the closet. Pick up the pillows off the floor.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Empty all the trashcans.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let trash pile up around your home. It leads to bugs, bad smells, and it definitely makes a room look untidy. Go around to all the waste baskets in the house and empty them in a large waste bin. Then, take out the trash.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decluttering Your Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get rid of items you don't need.\", \"描述\": \"Go through your belongings and set aside the items you no longer want or need, or simply put items back where they belong. For instance, put clean clothes back in their drawers or hang them up. Make sure dirty clothes end up in a hamper. Toss out broken or badly worn items.\\nGo through your closets and remove clothes that no longer fit. Any clothes with stains, rips or tears should be put in a bag as well.\\nOld toys, games, broken items and unwanted items should be set aside to be given away or sold. Seek obvious clutter -- clutter on the floors and counters. For instance, if you have two knife blocks, you can probably give one away to make more counter space.\\nOnce you have set aside the items you don't want, separate them into a sell pile and give away pile. You may need separate bags or boxes for each category of item.\\nList the gently used items on Craigslist or give them away to charity, a family member or friend\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Declutter the hidden cluttered areas.\", \"描述\": \"Disorganized drawers and closets offer the illusion of a clean and tidy room because you can simply close the door and hide the mess. Yet, once you open the closet door, items come tumbling out, or you're unable to find anything in the messy closet. So, if you have drawers that you can barely close, then it's time to go through them and sort them.\\nEmpty out the drawers completely and toss out anything broken. Set aside items that you may need like keys, and place stray items, such as batteries, that have been rolling around in the drawer in a basket for organization later.\\nOnce you have it sorted, neatly place the items back in the drawer. Note if you need an organizer to help keep everything together neatly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Throw away old mail.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to keep every bill or piece of mail forever. Stacks of mail piled up on your counters or inside desk drawers creates a mess -- both hidden and unhidden. Go through the stacks of mail, newspapers and coupons while sorting out recent mail you need to keep from expired coupons and tattered newspapers. Toss out or recycle the old stuff.\\nLike a pile of dishes in the sink, stacks of mail make a room look untidy and unkempt. Utility bills and paycheck stubs don't need to be kept longer than a year. ATM receipts can be tossed out after a few days. Set aside the coupons and mail that you need to keep. Throw away the rest.\\nOnce you have sorted the mail you're going to keep, neatly place the items back where they belong. Make a mental note about if a mail organizer is necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hang up and put away clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Piles and piles of clothes strewn across a room make it appear messy even if everything else in the room is tidy. Set aside the clean clothes and place them in drawers or hang them up. Fold clean unfolded clothes and put them away. Put unwanted clothes in a bag to be given away or sold.\\nShoes strewn across the room or piled up in a corner is no less of a mess. Set shoes upright in the closet, and put any unwanted shoes in the “give away” or “ to be sold” bag.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a list of needed organization items.\", \"描述\": \"As you clean, make a list of organization materials that you might need to keep everything tidy. For instance, you might need a shoe rack to keep your closet neat. Do you need more hangers? What about a desk organizer? Do you need another bookshelf? \\nBaskets with lids are great for storage and hiding clutter. You can store items inside of them without having to look at everything you own.\\nIf you don't have a lot of floor space, then make use of your wall space. You can put up more shelves or bookcases, and this will help to free up some space to help keep everything organized.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Rid of the Clutter\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide what you're keeping.\", \"描述\": \"Go through everything that you've pulled out of your closets and drawers and sort them into four piles: keep, give away, sell and trash. Assess the items by asking yourself a few questions: Have you used it in the past year? Would you buy the item again? Am I only keeping it because I don't want to waste money? Am I keeping it for sentimental value?\\nItems that should not be kept are broken items and outdated items that have been collecting dust. If you haven't used the item in many many years, it is time to dispose of it unless it is for sentimental value.\\nKeep the items you use frequently. Get rid of stained, torn and dusty unused items. Don't keep items simply because you think you might use it again even though you haven't used it in years. (Don't be a hoarder.)\\nUnused sentimental items can be stored away for safe keeping. Old t-shirts, pictures, books and stuffed animals that are purely for sentimental value can be stored away in a large storage chest. Separate them from your frequently used items so that they don't take up space.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give away unwanted items.\", \"描述\": \"These would be the items that didn't pass the test when you asked yourself the “decluttering questions, “ and you're unable to sell them for some reason. Examples of unsellable items might be outdated items, items with blemishes or heavily used items. Once you've separated the wanted items from the “giveaways,” place them in a pile away from the keep and trash pile. Give them to friends, family or charities such as the Goodwill.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sell the items on Craigslist or Ebay.\", \"描述\": \"Electronics, furniture and appliances that you simply do not need or want can be sold online. Simply take a picture of the item, and create a short listing on the website. You can make some extra money on the side selling your unwanted decluttered items, but the website you're using matters. Some websites are better than others for selling your goods.\\nCraigslist is best for selling furniture, appliances and electronics to local buyers in your area.\\nSell old cell phones, laptops or unused supplies to an international crowd on Ebay, which allows people to bid on items or purchase them outright.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sell used clothing and shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Gently used clothing can be re-sold if they are trendy, designer or too nice to give away. Stores such as Plato's Closet or Buffalo Exchange purchase gently used clothing without stains or holes that they believe can be re-sold to its customers. Keep in mind that whether or not the store takes the items is up to the discretion of each individual store.\\nLocal consignment shops and local chains in your area similar to Plato's Closet also are great resources for selling used clothing. Review the store's website to assess if your clothing fits the store's re-sale criteria.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a garage sale.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a number of items to get rid of, then it may be faster to have a garage sale over a weekend. Advertise by putting signs around your neighborhood. Then, label your items and get ready to haggle. Use the money you make to purchase new organizing materials for your home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Finding A Home For Everything\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assign a home for everything even the items that have no home.\", \"描述\": \"Some items are easy to find a home for such as the kitchen scissors. They belong in the knife block on the kitchen counter, but where should you store the batteries you found rolling around in a drawer?\\nMentally decide where everything should go so that every item has a home. Put any random items in a location you think is appropriate. For instance, put screws in a tool box. Put pens and pencils in a container on the desk. Put decorative items on a side table.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Re-organize badly organized items.\", \"描述\": \"If your current bookshelves, closets, or drawers aren't laid out well, then re-organize them. You don't always have to toss out items to declutter. Sometimes you need to re-organize books, closets, shelves and the items they hold because entropy has taken over, and sometimes it's because the items were never organized well in the first place.\\nRestack the books on the shelves. Unfold and refold items in the linen closet that make it look messy. Take all the shoes out of the closet and then line them up in the closet again.\\nAssess what you may need to store everything properly. Consider boxes, baskets, shelves and underbed boxes.\\nUtilize your wall space to create more living space in your home. Think about hanging more items on the wall or putting up shelves if you don't have a lot of floor space.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Purchase items to store away things.\", \"描述\": \"Stores such as The Container Store, Target and KMart have lots of organization materials to choose from. Don't be afraid to get creative, and consider a wide variety of materials. Cardboard office style shoe boxes are good for storing items on open shelves. Baskets, which usually don't have lids, are good for storing items you don't mind displaying like magazines or extra throw blankets.\\nFor closet organizers, look for hanging shoe racks and clothes racks. Grab some extra- hangers and hooks if you need them. Underbed boxes are good for overflow -- stuff that doesn't have any other place to go. Use them to store seasonal clothes like sweaters.\\nOttomans with interior storage areas can help you hide clutter. Also, think about bookshelves, boxes with lids and baskets to organize items like magazines that otherwise might be left laying around on the floor.\\nIf you have any messy drawers or cabinets, think about purchasing some drawer organizers. These are good options to store loose items like tacks, coins and batteries.\\nHooks and small dishes are good decorative options to store keys and loose items.\\nZip ties and charging stations can help you make your area look neater by making your charging cords more organized.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Store away what you're keeping.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have everything that you need, put everything away neatly in its new organizers. Use clear storage containers so that you can see what's inside. You'll thank yourself later when you're searching for your items, since you won't need to open every single box to see what it contains. Place items that you'll rarely use in storage spaces such as the attic or basement. Put more frequently used items under the bed or in the closet.\\nLabel the boxes that are going to be stored away in closets or under the bed so that you don't have to open the boxes when you're searching for your items.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintaining a Clean and Tidy Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set a cleaning routine.\", \"描述\": \"Left to your own devices your home might be messy again in no time. So, set a cleaning schedule to help keep you on track. The schedule will also help you create a new habit of cleaning and tidying more frequently.\\nChoose days for vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and taking out the trash.\\nMake a mental note of how many dishes you should allow to pile up in the sink before you wash them. Or, don't let them pile up at all. Wash them after every meal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put everything back where it belongs.\", \"描述\": \"Since you've taken the time to find everything a home, establish a routine of putting items back where they belong. Making a habit of putting items back when you're done with them means you'll be less likely to allow items to pile up. Your home will stay cleaner longer.\\nIf you live with people and you have moved some items around, make sure you tell them where everything belongs, so they can put them back too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Assign chores.\", \"描述\": \"If you live with other people, give everyone weekly or nightly chores. When maintaining the house is everyone's responsibility, the house is easier to keep clean and tidy. More people cleaning consistently equates to a cleaner home. There's power in numbers.\\nTask someone with doing the dishes every night or take turns.\\nDecide who is going to vacuum each week and clean the bathrooms. If you live alone, then you get the lucky task of doing everything alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tidy up every night.\", \"描述\": \"Before you go to bed, do a quick clean-up. Put dirty dishes in the sink. Pick up anything laying on the floor. Make it look nice enough so that when you wake up in the morning, the look of your home is a benefit, not a stressor.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Hire a cleaning service.\", \"描述\": \"If you're really busy, hire a maid to come weekly or monthly to help you out. With busy schedules, everyone doesn't have the time to clean all the time, and there's nothing wrong with employing help. Simply do your research to ensure you find the right person to clean your home.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Stay calm. If you haven't tidied up in a while, it may seem overwhelming which makes tidying seem stressful. Ironically living in an untidy environment will make you more stressed.\\n\", \"Have a trash bin in every room in the house so you can throw things away anywhere.\\n\", \"A clean home is a clean mind.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,978 | How to Be Nice | 1. Being Nice in Everyday Ways
1-1. Smile and be positive.
Aiming for a positive outlook will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day. A smile improves your outlook and makes people think of you as a confident, contented person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves! Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.
1-2. Acknowledge other people.
When you're walking past someone, even a stranger, acknowledge their presence with a simple "Hello!","Hi!", "How are you?" or “What’s up?” Even a simple wave or a nod in their direction will show you are acknowledging them. Letting people know you see them is nice; it makes people feel a little more special.
If you're walking through a crowded city, it can be hard to acknowledge everyone you pass. Try to at least be nice to the people you end up sitting next to on a bus or plane, or those who accidentally bump into you.
Say "good morning" to your fellow classmates and teachers or coworkers in the morning when you walk into the school or your workplace. You'll soon earn a reputation as a nice person.
1-3. Be a good listener.
Listen when other people are talking to you. It isn't nice to just ignore other people's opinions and stories. Give them time to speak, just as you'd like them to give you time to speak if your positions were reversed.
If you find that someone is becoming rude or pushy, never put your hands in your mouth or make a rude face. Politely wait for them to finish and change the topic, after they've discussed theirs.
Being nice doesn't mean letting yourself get pushed around. If you're talking to a stranger who starts to make you uncomfortable, it's okay to excuse yourself and walk away.
1-4. Be courteous, polite, and helpful.
Always use your manners, say please and thank you. Be patient, caring, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect, even those you don't particularly want to get to know. Offer help and assistance when someone needs it.
Don't forget to always say "Excuse me" instead of "MOVE!" when someone's in your way. People aren't like the ground that you can just spit on. They are living beings like you. If you are respectful to that person, that person will usually act the same way.
If you're on public transportation and an elderly, disabled or pregnant person gets on board, offer your seat. It's the nice thing to do. (And in some areas, it's the law!)
If you see someone in need of a little help, perhaps picking up something he or she dropped or reaching something from a high shelf, help out.
1-5. Smile
Smiling at people lets them know that you are pleasant. Look the person in the eye and give them a small smile or a wide grin - it doesn't matter which. This sets the mood of the encounter and usually encourages the other person to smile back. This also helps the person feel comfortable around you. If they do not smile back at you, then maybe they are just having a bad day. That's okay; being nice doesn't guarantee a positive response, but it usually helps.
Smile when you pass people in the street, when you buy something from a shop clerk, when you walk into school in the morning, or anytime you make eye contact with someone else.
If you are in a bad mood and don't want to smile, try listening to music, drawing, or doing something else you enjoy. This can prevent you from acting harshly towards people or being rude (even if you don't mean to be).
1-6. Practice empathy.
This is the ability to put yourself in others' shoes. Empathy is not something you're born with, it is something you need to work on. Simply put, try to leave your own head and ask, "how does this make them feel?" The goal here isn't to find a "right answer." Rather, it is the act of putting others before yourself that will help you become a more thoughtful, caring, and kind person.
Don't discriminate. Be equally nice to everyone. Even if you're nice to your friends and teachers, but you aren't nice to people who aren't cool or popular, you may not actually seem as nice as you actually are. Do not judge others by race, age, gender, sexuality, ability, or religion.
1-7. Never speak ill of others when they aren't around.
Of course, you shouldn't generally criticize people at all, but there are times when telling someone they did someone wrong is perfectly fine. However, that time is never when the person isn't around. Talking badly about people when they aren't around tells everyone else that you don't respect them, and treat people differently when they are around. Nice people know that talking behind someone's back is never appreciated and can make you appear as a gossip.
If you have a problem or question about someone, just ask. Bring these conflicts out into the open to make them much more manageable in a kind, easy way.
1-8. Look out for everyone, not just those closest to you.
Holding the door for a friend is kind, but being a nice person is about being helpful and kind towards everyone. Give a hand to a struggling person on the sidewalk, and offer to help out a classmate or coworker when they spill their papers in the hall. You can be the person who helps organize someone's birthday, or brings donuts in on Friday just because. Be nice just to be nice.
Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, don't push them to say more than they feel like saying.
2. Being Nice to People You Know
2-1. Be positive.
When your friends look to you for advice or just to set the mood of a conversation, don't be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation. Cheer them up. There are two sides to every situation: the positive side and the negative side. Nice people help others see the bright side of things.
Praise your friends' accomplishments. If your friend does a good job on a test or wins a prize, congratulate him or her!
Compliment your friends. If you have a friend who doesn't like her hair, tell her you think it's fine, or compliment her on her pretty smile. Though you may not be completely truthful, you are being nice.
If it is a close friend, you can say something like "it looks fine, but what if. . ." and make a small suggestion that you think may improve the look.
Sometimes people need to let off negative steam. You can be positive and understanding when they are talking. It is not necessary to be overly cheerful; make sure the tone of your feedback isn't out of touch with what your friend is trying to tell you.
2-2. Be humble.
Do you tend to look down your nose at people who are different or "weird"? It's not nice to believe that you are better than other people. You're an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone. Everybody is equal, and when you talk about how great you are, you make others feel less valuable.
Don't brag or have an inflated ego. If you accomplished something great, that's certainly something to be proud of; just make sure to acknowledge the people who helped you along the way.
Don't judge people until you really know them. Don't make assumptions about people based on how they look or speak. Realize that first impressions don't always reveal the truth. As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover.
2-3. Be sincere.
If you are being nice to gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice. What you are doing is deceptive and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what. Be nice because you feel like you willingly want to.
Don't be two-faced. Do not brag too much. Don't talk about people and don't be a backstabber. Being nice to people's faces helps you gain their trust. You betray that trust if you talk about them behind their backs. Never take part in gossip about other people, or those you don't like. It's bad karma, and it makes you look shallow, not nice.
2-4. Fill your days with small acts of kindness.
Those little, everyday things, like holding the door for a teacher you don't know, or smiling at someone who isn't always nice to you. They may not seem to matter much, but in the long run, doing these acts of kindness will make you seem like a much nicer person.
2-5. Learn how to share.
Sharing can mean dividing your dessert in half to give some to your younger sibling. It can also mean giving up something bigger, like your time, space or words of wisdom. It can involve charitable acts or just small, everyday gestures. Being generous is part of what it means to be nice. Try not to take more than you give, and when you are able, give more than you take.
3. Being Nice to People You Love
3-1. Offer to help.
If you see your mom or dad struggling to juggle all the chores that need to be done, offer to help. Put others before yourself, when you have energy and time to spare. Your nice acts will definitely be rewarded in the long run.
Don't wait to be asked to help out. Learn how to spot times when other people are in need.
Find creative ways to help! Help your siblings with homework, listen to your spouse's idea for a new project or idea, make breakfast for your family, walk the dog, drive your sister to school. These may seem like small tasks, but your efforts will be appreciated.
3-2. Be reliable and trustworthy.
Part of being nice to family members and others you love is being there for them in times of need. Respond to emails, answer the phone when people call, don't flake out on plans, and spend time talking when the other person asks you to listen.
If someone leaves you a message, call them back promptly. It's not nice to leave them hanging for days on end.
If you say you'll be somewhere, be there. If you say you'll do something, do it. Being flaky hurts people's confidence in you, and it's not a nice way to act. Commit to your friendship.
3-3. Make yourself available to people going through tough times.
In a crisis or emotional period, your grieving friend wants to do anything but cook and eat alone! Bring them a casserole and some cookies and spend the evening with them. If a bestie just got through a tough breakup, offer to help them clean out their significant other's stuff, so they don't have to go through the chore alone. The best friends and the nicest people are those who don't shy away when the going gets tough; they stand tall and pitch in.
3-4. Take the high road.
Sometimes it's not easy to be nice. You'll encounter situations that will test your ability to be a nice person. Even people you love may at times be flaky, judgmental, egotistical, selfish, or outright mean. You've got to avoid sinking to their level. Don't turn from nice to cruel just because your patience is being tested.
When you become angry and feel you're going to act in a way that isn't nice, take it out in a different way instead of being cruel. Go for a run, beat up your pillow, or calm down with a video game. You have control over your actions and behavior.
Remember to always treat people the way you would like to be treated. When you fully respect others' dignity, then automatically more people see you as a nice, caring, trustful, and considerate friend. At the end of the day, you want to be respected for your views, ideas, and passions, even if the other person doesn't share them. You should offer the same courtesy to others as well.
3-5. Offer your forgiveness freely.
Don't hold grudges, and don't continue punishing or getting angry at people after they've asked for forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is about letting the moment go instead of letting anger or jealousy continue to dominate your thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to suddenly trust them with your secrets again. It just means you stop harboring ill will if they've asked for honest forgiveness. Besides this is an important part of being good-natured. People will respect you if you are kind and forgiving.
Even if they don't ask for your forgiveness, try and move on. Someone who hurts you and won't apologize is generally not worth a lot of your worry and anger.
Tips
Incorporate kindness into who you are. Don't just be kind one day and not the other; otherwise, people will start to think you are putting on an act.
Being nice also means telling the truth—but if the truth could be hurtful, say it in a tactful manner.
If somebody tells you a secret and you promise not to tell anybody, keep your word and keep the secret.
Warnings
Don't let others take advantage of your nice actions and friendly, submissive manner. It can hurt you, and cause regrets for other people. By politely standing up for yourself you may save yourself and many others a lot of trouble.
Be careful smiling or saying hi to someone who you have a bad background with. It can backfire and they may think you're being sly and they may reply with a not very nice comment.
While being nice, do not be a total pushover. Compromise is good, but expect to be treated fairly. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right and do not hesitate to defend someone. If you find that you're being considerate of someone's time but they are not being considerate of yours, bow out as respectfully as you can and make yourself scarce.
You may have heard that "It doesn't matter what someone looks like, it's what's on the inside that counts". This is partially true, but you only have one chance at meeting someone. If you are barbarous the first time, that could be how you'll be known. If you are friendly the first impression, people will know you as nice and sincere.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Nice in Everyday Ways\\n1-1. Smile and be positive.\\nAiming for a positive outlook will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day. A smile improves your outlook and makes people think of you as a confident, contented person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves! Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.\\n1-2. Acknowledge other people.\\nWhen you're walking past someone, even a stranger, acknowledge their presence with a simple \\\"Hello!\\\",\\\"Hi!\\\", \\\"How are you?\\\" or “What’s up?” Even a simple wave or a nod in their direction will show you are acknowledging them. Letting people know you see them is nice; it makes people feel a little more special.\\nIf you're walking through a crowded city, it can be hard to acknowledge everyone you pass. Try to at least be nice to the people you end up sitting next to on a bus or plane, or those who accidentally bump into you.\\nSay \\\"good morning\\\" to your fellow classmates and teachers or coworkers in the morning when you walk into the school or your workplace. You'll soon earn a reputation as a nice person.\\n1-3. Be a good listener.\\nListen when other people are talking to you. It isn't nice to just ignore other people's opinions and stories. Give them time to speak, just as you'd like them to give you time to speak if your positions were reversed.\\nIf you find that someone is becoming rude or pushy, never put your hands in your mouth or make a rude face. Politely wait for them to finish and change the topic, after they've discussed theirs.\\nBeing nice doesn't mean letting yourself get pushed around. If you're talking to a stranger who starts to make you uncomfortable, it's okay to excuse yourself and walk away.\\n1-4. Be courteous, polite, and helpful.\\nAlways use your manners, say please and thank you. Be patient, caring, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect, even those you don't particularly want to get to know. Offer help and assistance when someone needs it.\\nDon't forget to always say \\\"Excuse me\\\" instead of \\\"MOVE!\\\" when someone's in your way. People aren't like the ground that you can just spit on. They are living beings like you. If you are respectful to that person, that person will usually act the same way.\\nIf you're on public transportation and an elderly, disabled or pregnant person gets on board, offer your seat. It's the nice thing to do. (And in some areas, it's the law!)\\nIf you see someone in need of a little help, perhaps picking up something he or she dropped or reaching something from a high shelf, help out.\\n1-5. Smile\\nSmiling at people lets them know that you are pleasant. Look the person in the eye and give them a small smile or a wide grin - it doesn't matter which. This sets the mood of the encounter and usually encourages the other person to smile back. This also helps the person feel comfortable around you. If they do not smile back at you, then maybe they are just having a bad day. That's okay; being nice doesn't guarantee a positive response, but it usually helps.\\nSmile when you pass people in the street, when you buy something from a shop clerk, when you walk into school in the morning, or anytime you make eye contact with someone else.\\nIf you are in a bad mood and don't want to smile, try listening to music, drawing, or doing something else you enjoy. This can prevent you from acting harshly towards people or being rude (even if you don't mean to be).\\n1-6. Practice empathy.\\nThis is the ability to put yourself in others' shoes. Empathy is not something you're born with, it is something you need to work on. Simply put, try to leave your own head and ask, \\\"how does this make them feel?\\\" The goal here isn't to find a \\\"right answer.\\\" Rather, it is the act of putting others before yourself that will help you become a more thoughtful, caring, and kind person.\\nDon't discriminate. Be equally nice to everyone. Even if you're nice to your friends and teachers, but you aren't nice to people who aren't cool or popular, you may not actually seem as nice as you actually are. Do not judge others by race, age, gender, sexuality, ability, or religion.\\n1-7. Never speak ill of others when they aren't around.\\nOf course, you shouldn't generally criticize people at all, but there are times when telling someone they did someone wrong is perfectly fine. However, that time is never when the person isn't around. Talking badly about people when they aren't around tells everyone else that you don't respect them, and treat people differently when they are around. Nice people know that talking behind someone's back is never appreciated and can make you appear as a gossip.\\nIf you have a problem or question about someone, just ask. Bring these conflicts out into the open to make them much more manageable in a kind, easy way.\\n1-8. Look out for everyone, not just those closest to you.\\nHolding the door for a friend is kind, but being a nice person is about being helpful and kind towards everyone. Give a hand to a struggling person on the sidewalk, and offer to help out a classmate or coworker when they spill their papers in the hall. You can be the person who helps organize someone's birthday, or brings donuts in on Friday just because. Be nice just to be nice.\\nAsk people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, don't push them to say more than they feel like saying.\\n2. Being Nice to People You Know\\n2-1. Be positive.\\nWhen your friends look to you for advice or just to set the mood of a conversation, don't be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation. Cheer them up. There are two sides to every situation: the positive side and the negative side. Nice people help others see the bright side of things.\\nPraise your friends' accomplishments. If your friend does a good job on a test or wins a prize, congratulate him or her!\\nCompliment your friends. If you have a friend who doesn't like her hair, tell her you think it's fine, or compliment her on her pretty smile. Though you may not be completely truthful, you are being nice.\\nIf it is a close friend, you can say something like \\\"it looks fine, but what if. . .\\\" and make a small suggestion that you think may improve the look.\\nSometimes people need to let off negative steam. You can be positive and understanding when they are talking. It is not necessary to be overly cheerful; make sure the tone of your feedback isn't out of touch with what your friend is trying to tell you.\\n2-2. Be humble.\\nDo you tend to look down your nose at people who are different or \\\"weird\\\"? It's not nice to believe that you are better than other people. You're an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone. Everybody is equal, and when you talk about how great you are, you make others feel less valuable.\\nDon't brag or have an inflated ego. If you accomplished something great, that's certainly something to be proud of; just make sure to acknowledge the people who helped you along the way.\\nDon't judge people until you really know them. Don't make assumptions about people based on how they look or speak. Realize that first impressions don't always reveal the truth. As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover.\\n2-3. Be sincere.\\nIf you are being nice to gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice. What you are doing is deceptive and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what. Be nice because you feel like you willingly want to.\\nDon't be two-faced. Do not brag too much. Don't talk about people and don't be a backstabber. Being nice to people's faces helps you gain their trust. You betray that trust if you talk about them behind their backs. Never take part in gossip about other people, or those you don't like. It's bad karma, and it makes you look shallow, not nice.\\n2-4. Fill your days with small acts of kindness.\\nThose little, everyday things, like holding the door for a teacher you don't know, or smiling at someone who isn't always nice to you. They may not seem to matter much, but in the long run, doing these acts of kindness will make you seem like a much nicer person.\\n2-5. Learn how to share.\\nSharing can mean dividing your dessert in half to give some to your younger sibling. It can also mean giving up something bigger, like your time, space or words of wisdom. It can involve charitable acts or just small, everyday gestures. Being generous is part of what it means to be nice. Try not to take more than you give, and when you are able, give more than you take.\\n3. Being Nice to People You Love\\n3-1. Offer to help.\\nIf you see your mom or dad struggling to juggle all the chores that need to be done, offer to help. Put others before yourself, when you have energy and time to spare. Your nice acts will definitely be rewarded in the long run.\\nDon't wait to be asked to help out. Learn how to spot times when other people are in need.\\nFind creative ways to help! Help your siblings with homework, listen to your spouse's idea for a new project or idea, make breakfast for your family, walk the dog, drive your sister to school. These may seem like small tasks, but your efforts will be appreciated.\\n3-2. Be reliable and trustworthy.\\nPart of being nice to family members and others you love is being there for them in times of need. Respond to emails, answer the phone when people call, don't flake out on plans, and spend time talking when the other person asks you to listen.\\nIf someone leaves you a message, call them back promptly. It's not nice to leave them hanging for days on end.\\nIf you say you'll be somewhere, be there. If you say you'll do something, do it. Being flaky hurts people's confidence in you, and it's not a nice way to act. Commit to your friendship.\\n3-3. Make yourself available to people going through tough times.\\nIn a crisis or emotional period, your grieving friend wants to do anything but cook and eat alone! Bring them a casserole and some cookies and spend the evening with them. If a bestie just got through a tough breakup, offer to help them clean out their significant other's stuff, so they don't have to go through the chore alone. The best friends and the nicest people are those who don't shy away when the going gets tough; they stand tall and pitch in.\\n3-4. Take the high road.\\nSometimes it's not easy to be nice. You'll encounter situations that will test your ability to be a nice person. Even people you love may at times be flaky, judgmental, egotistical, selfish, or outright mean. You've got to avoid sinking to their level. Don't turn from nice to cruel just because your patience is being tested.\\nWhen you become angry and feel you're going to act in a way that isn't nice, take it out in a different way instead of being cruel. Go for a run, beat up your pillow, or calm down with a video game. You have control over your actions and behavior.\\nRemember to always treat people the way you would like to be treated. When you fully respect others' dignity, then automatically more people see you as a nice, caring, trustful, and considerate friend. At the end of the day, you want to be respected for your views, ideas, and passions, even if the other person doesn't share them. You should offer the same courtesy to others as well.\\n3-5. Offer your forgiveness freely.\\nDon't hold grudges, and don't continue punishing or getting angry at people after they've asked for forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is about letting the moment go instead of letting anger or jealousy continue to dominate your thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to suddenly trust them with your secrets again. It just means you stop harboring ill will if they've asked for honest forgiveness. Besides this is an important part of being good-natured. People will respect you if you are kind and forgiving.\\nEven if they don't ask for your forgiveness, try and move on. Someone who hurts you and won't apologize is generally not worth a lot of your worry and anger.\\nTips\\nIncorporate kindness into who you are. Don't just be kind one day and not the other; otherwise, people will start to think you are putting on an act.\\nBeing nice also means telling the truth—but if the truth could be hurtful, say it in a tactful manner.\\nIf somebody tells you a secret and you promise not to tell anybody, keep your word and keep the secret.\\nWarnings\\nDon't let others take advantage of your nice actions and friendly, submissive manner. It can hurt you, and cause regrets for other people. By politely standing up for yourself you may save yourself and many others a lot of trouble.\\nBe careful smiling or saying hi to someone who you have a bad background with. It can backfire and they may think you're being sly and they may reply with a not very nice comment.\\nWhile being nice, do not be a total pushover. Compromise is good, but expect to be treated fairly. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right and do not hesitate to defend someone. If you find that you're being considerate of someone's time but they are not being considerate of yours, bow out as respectfully as you can and make yourself scarce.\\nYou may have heard that \\\"It doesn't matter what someone looks like, it's what's on the inside that counts\\\". This is partially true, but you only have one chance at meeting someone. If you are barbarous the first time, that could be how you'll be known. If you are friendly the first impression, people will know you as nice and sincere.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being nice makes people feel good and paves the way for good relationships! If that's not enough, consider that it also helps you get what you want. People will be more inclined to help you if you're nice to them. Read on to learn how to start being nice.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Nice in Everyday Ways\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and be positive.\", \"描述\": \"Aiming for a positive outlook will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day. A smile improves your outlook and makes people think of you as a confident, contented person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves! Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge other people.\", \"描述\": \"When you're walking past someone, even a stranger, acknowledge their presence with a simple \\\"Hello!\\\",\\\"Hi!\\\", \\\"How are you?\\\" or “What’s up?” Even a simple wave or a nod in their direction will show you are acknowledging them. Letting people know you see them is nice; it makes people feel a little more special.\\nIf you're walking through a crowded city, it can be hard to acknowledge everyone you pass. Try to at least be nice to the people you end up sitting next to on a bus or plane, or those who accidentally bump into you.\\nSay \\\"good morning\\\" to your fellow classmates and teachers or coworkers in the morning when you walk into the school or your workplace. You'll soon earn a reputation as a nice person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"Listen when other people are talking to you. It isn't nice to just ignore other people's opinions and stories. Give them time to speak, just as you'd like them to give you time to speak if your positions were reversed.\\nIf you find that someone is becoming rude or pushy, never put your hands in your mouth or make a rude face. Politely wait for them to finish and change the topic, after they've discussed theirs.\\nBeing nice doesn't mean letting yourself get pushed around. If you're talking to a stranger who starts to make you uncomfortable, it's okay to excuse yourself and walk away.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be courteous, polite, and helpful.\", \"描述\": \"Always use your manners, say please and thank you. Be patient, caring, observant, and considerate. Treat people with respect, even those you don't particularly want to get to know. Offer help and assistance when someone needs it.\\nDon't forget to always say \\\"Excuse me\\\" instead of \\\"MOVE!\\\" when someone's in your way. People aren't like the ground that you can just spit on. They are living beings like you. If you are respectful to that person, that person will usually act the same way.\\nIf you're on public transportation and an elderly, disabled or pregnant person gets on board, offer your seat. It's the nice thing to do. (And in some areas, it's the law!)\\nIf you see someone in need of a little help, perhaps picking up something he or she dropped or reaching something from a high shelf, help out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile\", \"描述\": \"Smiling at people lets them know that you are pleasant. Look the person in the eye and give them a small smile or a wide grin - it doesn't matter which. This sets the mood of the encounter and usually encourages the other person to smile back. This also helps the person feel comfortable around you. If they do not smile back at you, then maybe they are just having a bad day. That's okay; being nice doesn't guarantee a positive response, but it usually helps.\\nSmile when you pass people in the street, when you buy something from a shop clerk, when you walk into school in the morning, or anytime you make eye contact with someone else.\\nIf you are in a bad mood and don't want to smile, try listening to music, drawing, or doing something else you enjoy. This can prevent you from acting harshly towards people or being rude (even if you don't mean to be).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice empathy.\", \"描述\": \"This is the ability to put yourself in others' shoes. Empathy is not something you're born with, it is something you need to work on. Simply put, try to leave your own head and ask, \\\"how does this make them feel?\\\" The goal here isn't to find a \\\"right answer.\\\" Rather, it is the act of putting others before yourself that will help you become a more thoughtful, caring, and kind person.\\nDon't discriminate. Be equally nice to everyone. Even if you're nice to your friends and teachers, but you aren't nice to people who aren't cool or popular, you may not actually seem as nice as you actually are. Do not judge others by race, age, gender, sexuality, ability, or religion.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Never speak ill of others when they aren't around.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, you shouldn't generally criticize people at all, but there are times when telling someone they did someone wrong is perfectly fine. However, that time is never when the person isn't around. Talking badly about people when they aren't around tells everyone else that you don't respect them, and treat people differently when they are around. Nice people know that talking behind someone's back is never appreciated and can make you appear as a gossip.\\nIf you have a problem or question about someone, just ask. Bring these conflicts out into the open to make them much more manageable in a kind, easy way.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Look out for everyone, not just those closest to you.\", \"描述\": \"Holding the door for a friend is kind, but being a nice person is about being helpful and kind towards everyone. Give a hand to a struggling person on the sidewalk, and offer to help out a classmate or coworker when they spill their papers in the hall. You can be the person who helps organize someone's birthday, or brings donuts in on Friday just because. Be nice just to be nice.\\nAsk people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, don't push them to say more than they feel like saying.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Nice to People You Know\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be positive.\", \"描述\": \"When your friends look to you for advice or just to set the mood of a conversation, don't be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation. Cheer them up. There are two sides to every situation: the positive side and the negative side. Nice people help others see the bright side of things.\\nPraise your friends' accomplishments. If your friend does a good job on a test or wins a prize, congratulate him or her!\\nCompliment your friends. If you have a friend who doesn't like her hair, tell her you think it's fine, or compliment her on her pretty smile. Though you may not be completely truthful, you are being nice.\\nIf it is a close friend, you can say something like \\\"it looks fine, but what if. . .\\\" and make a small suggestion that you think may improve the look.\\nSometimes people need to let off negative steam. You can be positive and understanding when they are talking. It is not necessary to be overly cheerful; make sure the tone of your feedback isn't out of touch with what your friend is trying to tell you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be humble.\", \"描述\": \"Do you tend to look down your nose at people who are different or \\\"weird\\\"? It's not nice to believe that you are better than other people. You're an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone. Everybody is equal, and when you talk about how great you are, you make others feel less valuable.\\nDon't brag or have an inflated ego. If you accomplished something great, that's certainly something to be proud of; just make sure to acknowledge the people who helped you along the way.\\nDon't judge people until you really know them. Don't make assumptions about people based on how they look or speak. Realize that first impressions don't always reveal the truth. As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be sincere.\", \"描述\": \"If you are being nice to gain preferential treatment, it's quite the opposite of being nice. What you are doing is deceptive and cruel. Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what. Be nice because you feel like you willingly want to.\\nDon't be two-faced. Do not brag too much. Don't talk about people and don't be a backstabber. Being nice to people's faces helps you gain their trust. You betray that trust if you talk about them behind their backs. Never take part in gossip about other people, or those you don't like. It's bad karma, and it makes you look shallow, not nice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill your days with small acts of kindness.\", \"描述\": \"Those little, everyday things, like holding the door for a teacher you don't know, or smiling at someone who isn't always nice to you. They may not seem to matter much, but in the long run, doing these acts of kindness will make you seem like a much nicer person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn how to share.\", \"描述\": \"Sharing can mean dividing your dessert in half to give some to your younger sibling. It can also mean giving up something bigger, like your time, space or words of wisdom. It can involve charitable acts or just small, everyday gestures. Being generous is part of what it means to be nice. Try not to take more than you give, and when you are able, give more than you take.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Nice to People You Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer to help.\", \"描述\": \"If you see your mom or dad struggling to juggle all the chores that need to be done, offer to help. Put others before yourself, when you have energy and time to spare. Your nice acts will definitely be rewarded in the long run.\\nDon't wait to be asked to help out. Learn how to spot times when other people are in need.\\nFind creative ways to help! Help your siblings with homework, listen to your spouse's idea for a new project or idea, make breakfast for your family, walk the dog, drive your sister to school. These may seem like small tasks, but your efforts will be appreciated.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be reliable and trustworthy.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being nice to family members and others you love is being there for them in times of need. Respond to emails, answer the phone when people call, don't flake out on plans, and spend time talking when the other person asks you to listen.\\nIf someone leaves you a message, call them back promptly. It's not nice to leave them hanging for days on end.\\nIf you say you'll be somewhere, be there. If you say you'll do something, do it. Being flaky hurts people's confidence in you, and it's not a nice way to act. Commit to your friendship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make yourself available to people going through tough times.\", \"描述\": \"In a crisis or emotional period, your grieving friend wants to do anything but cook and eat alone! Bring them a casserole and some cookies and spend the evening with them. If a bestie just got through a tough breakup, offer to help them clean out their significant other's stuff, so they don't have to go through the chore alone. The best friends and the nicest people are those who don't shy away when the going gets tough; they stand tall and pitch in.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take the high road.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it's not easy to be nice. You'll encounter situations that will test your ability to be a nice person. Even people you love may at times be flaky, judgmental, egotistical, selfish, or outright mean. You've got to avoid sinking to their level. Don't turn from nice to cruel just because your patience is being tested.\\nWhen you become angry and feel you're going to act in a way that isn't nice, take it out in a different way instead of being cruel. Go for a run, beat up your pillow, or calm down with a video game. You have control over your actions and behavior.\\nRemember to always treat people the way you would like to be treated. When you fully respect others' dignity, then automatically more people see you as a nice, caring, trustful, and considerate friend. At the end of the day, you want to be respected for your views, ideas, and passions, even if the other person doesn't share them. You should offer the same courtesy to others as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Offer your forgiveness freely.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hold grudges, and don't continue punishing or getting angry at people after they've asked for forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is about letting the moment go instead of letting anger or jealousy continue to dominate your thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to suddenly trust them with your secrets again. It just means you stop harboring ill will if they've asked for honest forgiveness. Besides this is an important part of being good-natured. People will respect you if you are kind and forgiving.\\nEven if they don't ask for your forgiveness, try and move on. Someone who hurts you and won't apologize is generally not worth a lot of your worry and anger.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Incorporate kindness into who you are. Don't just be kind one day and not the other; otherwise, people will start to think you are putting on an act.\\n\", \"Being nice also means telling the truth—but if the truth could be hurtful, say it in a tactful manner.\\n\", \"If somebody tells you a secret and you promise not to tell anybody, keep your word and keep the secret.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't let others take advantage of your nice actions and friendly, submissive manner. It can hurt you, and cause regrets for other people. By politely standing up for yourself you may save yourself and many others a lot of trouble.\\n\", \"Be careful smiling or saying hi to someone who you have a bad background with. It can backfire and they may think you're being sly and they may reply with a not very nice comment.\\n\", \"While being nice, do not be a total pushover. Compromise is good, but expect to be treated fairly. Don't be afraid to stand up for what is right and do not hesitate to defend someone. If you find that you're being considerate of someone's time but they are not being considerate of yours, bow out as respectfully as you can and make yourself scarce.\\n\", \"You may have heard that \\\"It doesn't matter what someone looks like, it's what's on the inside that counts\\\". This is partially true, but you only have one chance at meeting someone. If you are barbarous the first time, that could be how you'll be known. If you are friendly the first impression, people will know you as nice and sincere.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,979 | How to Be Nice, Even When You're Angry | 1. Calming Your Anger
1-1. Avoid responding to someone while you are angry.
If you are speaking to someone and something they have done or said has angered you, give yourself time to respond. You're more likely to give the person a productive response (and less likely to be mean) if you allow yourself to cool down first. You might need to make up an excuse, but tell the person that you will have to get back to her in a little while.
If you can't think of anything else to say, you can just say “excuse me for a few minutes,” then step outside and get your temper under control before you respond.
1-2. Consider how your thoughts, feelings, and actions interrelate.
Though they can be difficult to separate at times, your thoughts affect your feelings. Your feelings, in turn, affect your actions. Thus, if you want to change your actions, you can start by changing your thoughts (which will change your feelings).
For example, if you think, “My life sucks!” then you may feel depressed or angry and you can in turn act out in a negative way, by sulking or by slamming doors. If, however, you change your thought to “this is challenging, but I can handle it,” you will feel less angry, and your actions will improve accordingly.
However, realize that even though thoughts and feelings relate to actions, you can always choose to act (or not act) a certain way. You may not always be able to choose your thoughts or feelings.
Know that it may take time to change the way that you choose to act, and you might not always make the best decision in the moment. That's okay; being mindful and trying to change is heading in the right direction.
1-3. Go outside.
Take a break on a bench outdoors or take a little nature walk to calm yourself down. Finding a change of scenery from what made you angry and enjoying the gifts of nature can help you get your anger under control so that you can be nicer to others.
If possible, take a brisk walk. The exercise can help calm you down, and being outdoors may improve your mood.
1-4. Make yourself laugh.
This may seem difficult when you're really anger, but if you can find a reason to laugh, the humor will overcome the anger in your body. A good laugh can help you break out of your angry mindset and make you more pleasant for others to be around. Trying to find humor in a situation, or getting yourself laughing about something else, can diffuse the situation by actually changing your body's chemical reaction from anger to humor.
If someone accidentally shreds an important document, your first reaction may be to yell at them out of anger. However, you may be able to stop yourself and think of a humorous scene in your favorite TV show about a misunderstanding that led to someone shredding the wrong document. Laughing about that can keep you from becoming too angry.
1-5. Meditate to calm your mind.
Meditation can help you regulate your emotions, which can help you communicate with others in a nicer way. Therefore, if you are feeling as though you might be unkind to someone due to feeling angry, give yourself a little mental refresher through meditation. Find a private, quiet place, then follow the following sequence:
Breathe deeply and slowly. Deep breaths can slow your heart rate and make you feel calmer. Your breaths should be deep enough that your belly extends outwards on the “in” breath.
Picture a golden-white light filling your body as you breathe in. Picture that light filling and relaxing your mind. When you breathe out, visualize dark, muddy colors leaving your body.
Once you are calm from your meditation, you should feel more ready to speak to others in a kind way.
2. Interacting with Others
2-1. Respect other people.
It is important to respect others when you are making a choice about how to act in (or react to) a given situation. Having empathy for the way that others feel can go a long way to helping you maintain positive communication with others. Think about how you would feel if someone lashed out at you because she was angry—whether or not you were the source of anger—and try to use that to inform your own communication.
Unfortunately, many people find that they inadvertently direct their anger towards their children. If you are angry or irritated about something and your child asks you “why is the sky blue” for the 1,000th time or asks you to help them finish a 3-week project hours before it is due, it is all too easy to snap at them. However, remembering that you respect them and would not want them to snap or yell at you might help you interact more kindly with them.
2-2. Use assertive expression of your anger.
Rather than expressing yourself passively (being angry without saying anything) or aggressively (exploding in a way that may seem disproportionate to the stressor), try assertive communication. To practice assertive expression, use the facts involved (not exaggerated by emotion) to communicate requests (rather than demands) of others in a respectful way. Communicate clearly and express your feelings effectively so that everyone's needs are met.
For example, if your carpool ride is late every day, instead of never saying anything but feeling angry (passive) or exploding at the driver and calling her names (aggressive), try to communicate your frustration with assertive expression.
You might say, “I really enjoy carpooling with you, Jane, but I feel frustrated that you are 5-10 minutes late most days. I know that it may not seem like a big deal, but it causes me to feel stressed and behind schedule before my day begins, and I would really appreciate it if you could try to leave a little earlier in the future.”
2-3. Be nice with your body as well as your words.
Communication is not all about words. Your words can be completely polite while your body language or actions are communicating anger. When angry, you may find that your muscles are tight and rigid. This may send a signal to others that you are not approachable.
You may want to try using progressive muscle relaxation—a process by which you tense and then release all of the muscles in your body—to try to get the anger out of your body as well as your mind.
3. Maintaining a Positive Lifestyle
3-1. Sleep 7-8 hours every night.
You need to get plenty of sleep every night to thrive. Being sleep deprived can contribute to a wide range of health problems, including the inability to manage emotions properly. Getting adequate sleep can help you have the patience and understanding to maintain relationships with others regardless of your emotional state.
If you have chronic sleep problems, consult your physician. You may be able to make dietary or lifestyle changes to improve your sleep. You may also be able to try herbal or medicinal supplements to sleep more.
3-2. Exercise daily.
Exercise can help you feel less angry in the moment by releasing endorphins into your body. Regular exercise can also help you regulate your emotions in general. You may find that getting regular exercise gives you more energy throughout the day, which can help you be productive and patient without getting irritated with other people.
3-3. Eat a healthy diet.
Choosing foods that are more nutritious and lower in sugar and fat can boost your energy, improve your overall health, and contribute to a happier mood in general.
Choose whole foods that are minimally processed. Eat more fruits, veggies, lean meats, and legumes. Think of them as all-day energy and abundant nutrition for your body that can leave you more equipped to be nice to other people!
Avoid foods such as candy bars, soda, cake, doughnuts, and pastries, which lead to massive energy crashes and offer no nutrition and added calories.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Calming Your Anger\\n1-1. Avoid responding to someone while you are angry.\\nIf you are speaking to someone and something they have done or said has angered you, give yourself time to respond. You're more likely to give the person a productive response (and less likely to be mean) if you allow yourself to cool down first. You might need to make up an excuse, but tell the person that you will have to get back to her in a little while.\\nIf you can't think of anything else to say, you can just say “excuse me for a few minutes,” then step outside and get your temper under control before you respond.\\n1-2. Consider how your thoughts, feelings, and actions interrelate.\\nThough they can be difficult to separate at times, your thoughts affect your feelings. Your feelings, in turn, affect your actions. Thus, if you want to change your actions, you can start by changing your thoughts (which will change your feelings).\\nFor example, if you think, “My life sucks!” then you may feel depressed or angry and you can in turn act out in a negative way, by sulking or by slamming doors. If, however, you change your thought to “this is challenging, but I can handle it,” you will feel less angry, and your actions will improve accordingly.\\nHowever, realize that even though thoughts and feelings relate to actions, you can always choose to act (or not act) a certain way. You may not always be able to choose your thoughts or feelings.\\nKnow that it may take time to change the way that you choose to act, and you might not always make the best decision in the moment. That's okay; being mindful and trying to change is heading in the right direction.\\n1-3. Go outside.\\nTake a break on a bench outdoors or take a little nature walk to calm yourself down. Finding a change of scenery from what made you angry and enjoying the gifts of nature can help you get your anger under control so that you can be nicer to others.\\nIf possible, take a brisk walk. The exercise can help calm you down, and being outdoors may improve your mood.\\n1-4. Make yourself laugh.\\nThis may seem difficult when you're really anger, but if you can find a reason to laugh, the humor will overcome the anger in your body. A good laugh can help you break out of your angry mindset and make you more pleasant for others to be around. Trying to find humor in a situation, or getting yourself laughing about something else, can diffuse the situation by actually changing your body's chemical reaction from anger to humor.\\nIf someone accidentally shreds an important document, your first reaction may be to yell at them out of anger. However, you may be able to stop yourself and think of a humorous scene in your favorite TV show about a misunderstanding that led to someone shredding the wrong document. Laughing about that can keep you from becoming too angry.\\n1-5. Meditate to calm your mind.\\nMeditation can help you regulate your emotions, which can help you communicate with others in a nicer way. Therefore, if you are feeling as though you might be unkind to someone due to feeling angry, give yourself a little mental refresher through meditation. Find a private, quiet place, then follow the following sequence:\\nBreathe deeply and slowly. Deep breaths can slow your heart rate and make you feel calmer. Your breaths should be deep enough that your belly extends outwards on the “in” breath.\\nPicture a golden-white light filling your body as you breathe in. Picture that light filling and relaxing your mind. When you breathe out, visualize dark, muddy colors leaving your body.\\nOnce you are calm from your meditation, you should feel more ready to speak to others in a kind way.\\n2. Interacting with Others\\n2-1. Respect other people.\\nIt is important to respect others when you are making a choice about how to act in (or react to) a given situation. Having empathy for the way that others feel can go a long way to helping you maintain positive communication with others. Think about how you would feel if someone lashed out at you because she was angry—whether or not you were the source of anger—and try to use that to inform your own communication.\\nUnfortunately, many people find that they inadvertently direct their anger towards their children. If you are angry or irritated about something and your child asks you “why is the sky blue” for the 1,000th time or asks you to help them finish a 3-week project hours before it is due, it is all too easy to snap at them. However, remembering that you respect them and would not want them to snap or yell at you might help you interact more kindly with them.\\n2-2. Use assertive expression of your anger.\\nRather than expressing yourself passively (being angry without saying anything) or aggressively (exploding in a way that may seem disproportionate to the stressor), try assertive communication. To practice assertive expression, use the facts involved (not exaggerated by emotion) to communicate requests (rather than demands) of others in a respectful way. Communicate clearly and express your feelings effectively so that everyone's needs are met.\\nFor example, if your carpool ride is late every day, instead of never saying anything but feeling angry (passive) or exploding at the driver and calling her names (aggressive), try to communicate your frustration with assertive expression.\\nYou might say, “I really enjoy carpooling with you, Jane, but I feel frustrated that you are 5-10 minutes late most days. I know that it may not seem like a big deal, but it causes me to feel stressed and behind schedule before my day begins, and I would really appreciate it if you could try to leave a little earlier in the future.”\\n2-3. Be nice with your body as well as your words.\\nCommunication is not all about words. Your words can be completely polite while your body language or actions are communicating anger. When angry, you may find that your muscles are tight and rigid. This may send a signal to others that you are not approachable.\\nYou may want to try using progressive muscle relaxation—a process by which you tense and then release all of the muscles in your body—to try to get the anger out of your body as well as your mind.\\n3. Maintaining a Positive Lifestyle\\n3-1. Sleep 7-8 hours every night.\\nYou need to get plenty of sleep every night to thrive. Being sleep deprived can contribute to a wide range of health problems, including the inability to manage emotions properly. Getting adequate sleep can help you have the patience and understanding to maintain relationships with others regardless of your emotional state.\\nIf you have chronic sleep problems, consult your physician. You may be able to make dietary or lifestyle changes to improve your sleep. You may also be able to try herbal or medicinal supplements to sleep more.\\n3-2. Exercise daily.\\nExercise can help you feel less angry in the moment by releasing endorphins into your body. Regular exercise can also help you regulate your emotions in general. You may find that getting regular exercise gives you more energy throughout the day, which can help you be productive and patient without getting irritated with other people.\\n3-3. Eat a healthy diet.\\nChoosing foods that are more nutritious and lower in sugar and fat can boost your energy, improve your overall health, and contribute to a happier mood in general.\\nChoose whole foods that are minimally processed. Eat more fruits, veggies, lean meats, and legumes. Think of them as all-day energy and abundant nutrition for your body that can leave you more equipped to be nice to other people!\\nAvoid foods such as candy bars, soda, cake, doughnuts, and pastries, which lead to massive energy crashes and offer no nutrition and added calories.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being kind to others can be a challenge, particularly if you are feeling angry. Anger can cause you to lash out at others, even if they are not the cause of your anger. Being able to gain control of your emotions by managing your anger appropriately can enable you to continue to have good relationships with other people.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calming Your Anger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid responding to someone while you are angry.\", \"描述\": \"If you are speaking to someone and something they have done or said has angered you, give yourself time to respond. You're more likely to give the person a productive response (and less likely to be mean) if you allow yourself to cool down first. You might need to make up an excuse, but tell the person that you will have to get back to her in a little while.\\nIf you can't think of anything else to say, you can just say “excuse me for a few minutes,” then step outside and get your temper under control before you respond.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider how your thoughts, feelings, and actions interrelate.\", \"描述\": \"Though they can be difficult to separate at times, your thoughts affect your feelings. Your feelings, in turn, affect your actions. Thus, if you want to change your actions, you can start by changing your thoughts (which will change your feelings).\\nFor example, if you think, “My life sucks!” then you may feel depressed or angry and you can in turn act out in a negative way, by sulking or by slamming doors. If, however, you change your thought to “this is challenging, but I can handle it,” you will feel less angry, and your actions will improve accordingly.\\nHowever, realize that even though thoughts and feelings relate to actions, you can always choose to act (or not act) a certain way. You may not always be able to choose your thoughts or feelings.\\nKnow that it may take time to change the way that you choose to act, and you might not always make the best decision in the moment. That's okay; being mindful and trying to change is heading in the right direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go outside.\", \"描述\": \"Take a break on a bench outdoors or take a little nature walk to calm yourself down. Finding a change of scenery from what made you angry and enjoying the gifts of nature can help you get your anger under control so that you can be nicer to others.\\nIf possible, take a brisk walk. The exercise can help calm you down, and being outdoors may improve your mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make yourself laugh.\", \"描述\": \"This may seem difficult when you're really anger, but if you can find a reason to laugh, the humor will overcome the anger in your body. A good laugh can help you break out of your angry mindset and make you more pleasant for others to be around. Trying to find humor in a situation, or getting yourself laughing about something else, can diffuse the situation by actually changing your body's chemical reaction from anger to humor.\\nIf someone accidentally shreds an important document, your first reaction may be to yell at them out of anger. However, you may be able to stop yourself and think of a humorous scene in your favorite TV show about a misunderstanding that led to someone shredding the wrong document. Laughing about that can keep you from becoming too angry.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meditate to calm your mind.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation can help you regulate your emotions, which can help you communicate with others in a nicer way. Therefore, if you are feeling as though you might be unkind to someone due to feeling angry, give yourself a little mental refresher through meditation. Find a private, quiet place, then follow the following sequence:\\nBreathe deeply and slowly. Deep breaths can slow your heart rate and make you feel calmer. Your breaths should be deep enough that your belly extends outwards on the “in” breath.\\nPicture a golden-white light filling your body as you breathe in. Picture that light filling and relaxing your mind. When you breathe out, visualize dark, muddy colors leaving your body.\\nOnce you are calm from your meditation, you should feel more ready to speak to others in a kind way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect other people.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to respect others when you are making a choice about how to act in (or react to) a given situation. Having empathy for the way that others feel can go a long way to helping you maintain positive communication with others. Think about how you would feel if someone lashed out at you because she was angry—whether or not you were the source of anger—and try to use that to inform your own communication.\\nUnfortunately, many people find that they inadvertently direct their anger towards their children. If you are angry or irritated about something and your child asks you “why is the sky blue” for the 1,000th time or asks you to help them finish a 3-week project hours before it is due, it is all too easy to snap at them. However, remembering that you respect them and would not want them to snap or yell at you might help you interact more kindly with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use assertive expression of your anger.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than expressing yourself passively (being angry without saying anything) or aggressively (exploding in a way that may seem disproportionate to the stressor), try assertive communication. To practice assertive expression, use the facts involved (not exaggerated by emotion) to communicate requests (rather than demands) of others in a respectful way. Communicate clearly and express your feelings effectively so that everyone's needs are met.\\nFor example, if your carpool ride is late every day, instead of never saying anything but feeling angry (passive) or exploding at the driver and calling her names (aggressive), try to communicate your frustration with assertive expression.\\nYou might say, “I really enjoy carpooling with you, Jane, but I feel frustrated that you are 5-10 minutes late most days. I know that it may not seem like a big deal, but it causes me to feel stressed and behind schedule before my day begins, and I would really appreciate it if you could try to leave a little earlier in the future.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be nice with your body as well as your words.\", \"描述\": \"Communication is not all about words. Your words can be completely polite while your body language or actions are communicating anger. When angry, you may find that your muscles are tight and rigid. This may send a signal to others that you are not approachable.\\nYou may want to try using progressive muscle relaxation—a process by which you tense and then release all of the muscles in your body—to try to get the anger out of your body as well as your mind.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining a Positive Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sleep 7-8 hours every night.\", \"描述\": \"You need to get plenty of sleep every night to thrive. Being sleep deprived can contribute to a wide range of health problems, including the inability to manage emotions properly. Getting adequate sleep can help you have the patience and understanding to maintain relationships with others regardless of your emotional state.\\nIf you have chronic sleep problems, consult your physician. You may be able to make dietary or lifestyle changes to improve your sleep. You may also be able to try herbal or medicinal supplements to sleep more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise daily.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise can help you feel less angry in the moment by releasing endorphins into your body. Regular exercise can also help you regulate your emotions in general. You may find that getting regular exercise gives you more energy throughout the day, which can help you be productive and patient without getting irritated with other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet.\", \"描述\": \"Choosing foods that are more nutritious and lower in sugar and fat can boost your energy, improve your overall health, and contribute to a happier mood in general.\\nChoose whole foods that are minimally processed. Eat more fruits, veggies, lean meats, and legumes. Think of them as all-day energy and abundant nutrition for your body that can leave you more equipped to be nice to other people!\\nAvoid foods such as candy bars, soda, cake, doughnuts, and pastries, which lead to massive energy crashes and offer no nutrition and added calories.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,980 | How to Be Nice and Cheerful | 1. Steps
1-1. Smile
Being positive will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day. A smile improves your outlook, and makes people think of you as a confident and happy person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves! Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.
1-2. Strike up a conversation.
Don't be afraid to talk to people. Introduce yourself, and then ask them about their day. Don't just talk about yourself throughout the whole conversation. Ask them questions about their interests and who they are.
Make an effort to smile and make eye contact when you're first meeting someone.
1-3. Express your opinions.
Don't be afraid to put forward your opinions even if they contradict those of the person you are talking to, but make sure to be civil. A good way to express a contradicting opinion is to start by saying "Yes, you are right when you say that, but I feel that..." Don't agree with people just so that they will like you - nobody likes a clone. People will like you for having your own thoughts and opinions, especially if they are mature and expressed in such a manner. Of course, don't say something that might offend people, especially if they feel strongly about the subject.
1-4. Never backbite.
Backbiting about people only makes you look bad to the people you backbite to. You lose any confidence people may have in you. Also, if you make sure to speak about people only in front of them, you are most likely to speak in a civil manner and avoid saying anything very offensive. Bear in mind that whatever you say about people behind their backs will reach them - and when it does, it will be worse than if you had expressed your thoughts in a civil manner in front of them.
1-5. Smile
Don't smile strangely: just a small smile will make them think you are nice.
1-6. Don't lose your temper.
Be patient with people, even if it is hard. If you feel very angry about something, sit if you are standing, and lie down if you are sitting. Drink a glass of water - preferably cold. If this does not help, wash your face.Breathing slowly also helps control anger.
Many angry outbursts can be avoided if you deal with irritation as it arises. Expressing that some things irritate or upset you is better than bottling it up.
For example, be patient and courteous if you're waiting behind an elderly person in line, even if they're taking a while to get organized.
1-7. Be courteous even to your enemies.
This will make people think of you as a person with self-control, and create respect for you. If you are nice to everybody, no matter how mean they are, nobody will have any reason to hate you. Being nice to your enemies will also drive them mad!
1-8. Be nice to people who are not "cool".
Don't just be nice to popular people. Being nice to people whom others consider losers or geeks will help create an image of you as a genuinely kind and friendly person.
1-9. Be fun
Don't drone on boringly about something; be more exciting and interesting when you talk. Include little jokes and funny stories in conversations and never be boring when talking to someone.
1-10. Don't worry about what people think
As long as you are being yourself, that's fine! There will always be people who don't like you, and you should learn to ignore them and get on with your life!
1-11. Remove yourself.
If you find yourself in a bad situation with someone, just remove yourself. Obviously, it is rude to ignore or avoid someone, but just try to reasonably distance yourself from the situation.
Tips
Although it's not a good idea to moan to people, if you're having a bad day, explain it to someone because its worse to bottle it up. People may even think you're annoying if it seems like you never have a bad day!
Counting to ten in your head and breathing deeply when you're stressed can prevent you from saying something you'll regret later.
Smile, wave, and say hi or hello to anyone and everyone you can. It will give people the impression that you are easy to talk to.
Warnings
Don't act fake. If you feel offended about something that somebody had done, tell it to them! (be nice when you are doing that).
Don't overuse swear words, as people will think that you are uncivilized. If other people say them to you, just take it as a joke. Try to laugh or smile; that will make people think that you are a very lovable person.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Smile\\nBeing positive will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day. A smile improves your outlook, and makes people think of you as a confident and happy person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves! Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.\\n1-2. Strike up a conversation.\\nDon't be afraid to talk to people. Introduce yourself, and then ask them about their day. Don't just talk about yourself throughout the whole conversation. Ask them questions about their interests and who they are.\\nMake an effort to smile and make eye contact when you're first meeting someone.\\n1-3. Express your opinions.\\nDon't be afraid to put forward your opinions even if they contradict those of the person you are talking to, but make sure to be civil. A good way to express a contradicting opinion is to start by saying \\\"Yes, you are right when you say that, but I feel that...\\\" Don't agree with people just so that they will like you - nobody likes a clone. People will like you for having your own thoughts and opinions, especially if they are mature and expressed in such a manner. Of course, don't say something that might offend people, especially if they feel strongly about the subject.\\n1-4. Never backbite.\\nBackbiting about people only makes you look bad to the people you backbite to. You lose any confidence people may have in you. Also, if you make sure to speak about people only in front of them, you are most likely to speak in a civil manner and avoid saying anything very offensive. Bear in mind that whatever you say about people behind their backs will reach them - and when it does, it will be worse than if you had expressed your thoughts in a civil manner in front of them.\\n1-5. Smile\\nDon't smile strangely: just a small smile will make them think you are nice.\\n1-6. Don't lose your temper.\\nBe patient with people, even if it is hard. If you feel very angry about something, sit if you are standing, and lie down if you are sitting. Drink a glass of water - preferably cold. If this does not help, wash your face.Breathing slowly also helps control anger.\\nMany angry outbursts can be avoided if you deal with irritation as it arises. Expressing that some things irritate or upset you is better than bottling it up.\\nFor example, be patient and courteous if you're waiting behind an elderly person in line, even if they're taking a while to get organized.\\n1-7. Be courteous even to your enemies.\\nThis will make people think of you as a person with self-control, and create respect for you. If you are nice to everybody, no matter how mean they are, nobody will have any reason to hate you. Being nice to your enemies will also drive them mad!\\n1-8. Be nice to people who are not \\\"cool\\\".\\nDon't just be nice to popular people. Being nice to people whom others consider losers or geeks will help create an image of you as a genuinely kind and friendly person.\\n1-9. Be fun\\nDon't drone on boringly about something; be more exciting and interesting when you talk. Include little jokes and funny stories in conversations and never be boring when talking to someone.\\n1-10. Don't worry about what people think\\nAs long as you are being yourself, that's fine! There will always be people who don't like you, and you should learn to ignore them and get on with your life!\\n1-11. Remove yourself.\\nIf you find yourself in a bad situation with someone, just remove yourself. Obviously, it is rude to ignore or avoid someone, but just try to reasonably distance yourself from the situation.\\nTips\\nAlthough it's not a good idea to moan to people, if you're having a bad day, explain it to someone because its worse to bottle it up. People may even think you're annoying if it seems like you never have a bad day!\\nCounting to ten in your head and breathing deeply when you're stressed can prevent you from saying something you'll regret later.\\nSmile, wave, and say hi or hello to anyone and everyone you can. It will give people the impression that you are easy to talk to.\\nWarnings\\nDon't act fake. If you feel offended about something that somebody had done, tell it to them! (be nice when you are doing that).\\nDon't overuse swear words, as people will think that you are uncivilized. If other people say them to you, just take it as a joke. Try to laugh or smile; that will make people think that you are a very lovable person.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever thought how great it would be to be cheerful all the time, and for people to think you were really nice? All you have to do is smile, stay positive, and keep your emotions in check if you get angry or are just having a bad day. It takes a little practice, but soon enough, you'll be radiating kindness and good cheer everywhere you go.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile\", \"描述\": \"Being positive will help you stay happy, even if you are having a bad day. A smile improves your outlook, and makes people think of you as a confident and happy person. Smiling at people also helps them feel good about themselves! Besides, nobody likes a person who bores them with his own problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strike up a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to talk to people. Introduce yourself, and then ask them about their day. Don't just talk about yourself throughout the whole conversation. Ask them questions about their interests and who they are.\\nMake an effort to smile and make eye contact when you're first meeting someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express your opinions.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be afraid to put forward your opinions even if they contradict those of the person you are talking to, but make sure to be civil. A good way to express a contradicting opinion is to start by saying \\\"Yes, you are right when you say that, but I feel that...\\\" Don't agree with people just so that they will like you - nobody likes a clone. People will like you for having your own thoughts and opinions, especially if they are mature and expressed in such a manner. Of course, don't say something that might offend people, especially if they feel strongly about the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Never backbite.\", \"描述\": \"Backbiting about people only makes you look bad to the people you backbite to. You lose any confidence people may have in you. Also, if you make sure to speak about people only in front of them, you are most likely to speak in a civil manner and avoid saying anything very offensive. Bear in mind that whatever you say about people behind their backs will reach them - and when it does, it will be worse than if you had expressed your thoughts in a civil manner in front of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile\", \"描述\": \"Don't smile strangely: just a small smile will make them think you are nice.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't lose your temper.\", \"描述\": \"Be patient with people, even if it is hard. If you feel very angry about something, sit if you are standing, and lie down if you are sitting. Drink a glass of water - preferably cold. If this does not help, wash your face.Breathing slowly also helps control anger.\\nMany angry outbursts can be avoided if you deal with irritation as it arises. Expressing that some things irritate or upset you is better than bottling it up.\\nFor example, be patient and courteous if you're waiting behind an elderly person in line, even if they're taking a while to get organized.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be courteous even to your enemies.\", \"描述\": \"This will make people think of you as a person with self-control, and create respect for you. If you are nice to everybody, no matter how mean they are, nobody will have any reason to hate you. Being nice to your enemies will also drive them mad!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be nice to people who are not \\\"cool\\\".\", \"描述\": \"Don't just be nice to popular people. Being nice to people whom others consider losers or geeks will help create an image of you as a genuinely kind and friendly person.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be fun\", \"描述\": \"Don't drone on boringly about something; be more exciting and interesting when you talk. Include little jokes and funny stories in conversations and never be boring when talking to someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don't worry about what people think\", \"描述\": \"As long as you are being yourself, that's fine! There will always be people who don't like you, and you should learn to ignore them and get on with your life!\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Remove yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself in a bad situation with someone, just remove yourself. Obviously, it is rude to ignore or avoid someone, but just try to reasonably distance yourself from the situation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Although it's not a good idea to moan to people, if you're having a bad day, explain it to someone because its worse to bottle it up. People may even think you're annoying if it seems like you never have a bad day!\\n\", \"Counting to ten in your head and breathing deeply when you're stressed can prevent you from saying something you'll regret later.\\n\", \"Smile, wave, and say hi or hello to anyone and everyone you can. It will give people the impression that you are easy to talk to.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't act fake. If you feel offended about something that somebody had done, tell it to them! (be nice when you are doing that).\\n\", \"Don't overuse swear words, as people will think that you are uncivilized. If other people say them to you, just take it as a joke. Try to laugh or smile; that will make people think that you are a very lovable person.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,981 | How to Be Nice to Someone You Hate | 1. Interacting with Someone You Hate
1-1. Maintain positive posture and body language.
One way to send positive signals to someone you hate is to maintain positive posture and body language. Holding positive body language will send non-verbal signals to the other person that you actually don’t hate them. At the same time, if you’re not aware of your body language, you just might send negative signals to someone you hate.
Smile, but don’t smile in a weird way.
Stand up and be confident.
Avoid crossing your arms or taking other defensive postures.
Don’t violate their personal space.
1-2. Focus on the positive.
When interacting with someone you hate, always make sure to focus on the positive. The more positive you are, the nicer you’ll seem – even if you hate the person. In addition, your positive attitude might rub off on the person you hate, they might be more positive, and you might wind up liking them.
Point out the positive things going in your life and among your mutual friends and acquaintances. For example, say "I think Sarah really deserved that promotion. She's a hard worker."
Only say good things about other people. For example, say "John's new haircut looks nice, doesn't it?"
Compliment the person on their achievements and congratulate them on good things going on in their life.
1-3. Avoid arguing with them.
Sometimes we deal with people who are abrasive or argumentative. We don't want to interact with them, but we hate to let them go unchallenged. However, if your goal is to be nice to someone like this, you can’t fall into their trap. Avoid confrontations and arguments with them at all costs. Instead:
Politely excuse yourself it they are doing or saying something that challenges you in a rude way. For example, say: "I have not seen Raul in a long time, please excuse me."
Change the subject to a topic that will be harder for them to anger you about when talking. For example, say: "On a different note, what do you think about that White Sox winning the World Series?"
Don’t talk touchy subjects, such as politics, religion, race and ethnicity, or anything that could potentially offend the person.
1-4. Avoid sweating the small things.
Embracing a care-free attitude will help you deal with people you don’t like. The more relaxed and care-free you are, the easier it’ll be to let small annoyances and transgressions roll off your back. In addition, the person you’re dealing with might see your relaxed demeanor and loosen up themselves.
Tell yourself that small things don't matter.
Don't read too much into people's actions or words -- take them at face value.
Don't let things like people flaking out or blowing you off bother you.
1-5. Communicate with them about your feelings.
Perhaps one way to improve your relationship with the person you hate is to talk to them about your feelings, what they do to antagonize you, and what both of you can do to make your interactions more pleasant. If you successfully communicate, you might be able to foster a relationship that is healthier and in which both of you form a true friendship.
Speak in terms of “I feel.” For example, say "I feel we could become better friends, John."
Don’t make accusations.
Ask them for their feedback about what they perceive your relationship to be. For example, say: "How do you feel about our friendship, do you think we could improve it?"
1-6. Do nice things for the person you hate.
One way to be nice to someone you hate is to offer to do favors and other things for that person. Offering to do favors for the person will signal that you either like or care for the person instead of hating them. Ultimately, doing nice things for the person will not just give the impression that you like the person but it may help create a relationship in which both of you reciprocate and respect each other.
If the person mentions they’re having a problem with something (and you can help), offer assistance.
If you know the person in a work environment, offer to cover for them if they’re sick or for some reason have to miss work.
Bring the person food or other small gifts when they’re going through a bad period in their life.
2. Controlling Yourself and Limiting Interactions
2-1. Control your emotions.
When dealing with someone you absolutely hate, make sure to control your emotions at all cost. In the back of your mind, you might be thinking how much contempt you have, but there is no way to be nice if you let your feelings get the better of you. Stay calm, think about your goal of being nice, and let your brain rule the day.
Think about your own behavior, rather than their behavior.
Focus on your goal of being nice.
Don’t let their comments or actions provoke you into rash behavior. Regardless of whatever they do or say, just stay cool.
2-2. Say less.
One tactic to use when talking to someone you hate is to say less than you normally would under other circumstances. Saying less will help you in several ways. It’ll open you up to less opportunities when you may let your contempt or hatred slip from your lips. It will also minimize the amount of time you’re actually engaging the person.
Be polite and kind, but keep your statements and responses relatively short and concise.
Don’t be curt, but rather try to come off as quiet and thoughtful.
If they question you about something, respond to them by telling them you’ll have to think about it, or you’ll get back to them later. This way, you’ll keep your response minimal and you’ll be able to think about your response.
2-3. Minimize interactions.
Perhaps the best way to maintain cordial relations with someone you don’t like is to minimize interactions with the person. Minimizing interactions will limit occurrences in which you might be mean to the person. The less face-to-face time, the more likely you’ll be able to control yourself and the less the person will actually wear on you and antagonize you.
Only interact when you have to.
Think beforehand of reasons why you may have to excuse yourself. Don’t lie, but instead make obligations that you’ll have to attend to. Some examples might mean meeting up with family or friends elsewhere.
Plan your schedule around them as to avoid them when possible.
2-4. Be deliberate.
In every interaction with the person you hate, be deliberate about what you say and do. Being deliberate will help you to control your actions and will hopefully prevent the person from reading negativity into your interaction. Ultimately, the best way to be nice to someone you hate is to engage with them in a careful and deliberate manner.
Say only what you are comfortable sharing with them.
Think of what you will say to the person in advance.
Don’t shoot from the hip and respond to their comments and actions without thought.
3. Changing Your Attitude About Someone
3-1. Decide to give the person a second chance.
Instead of relying on first impressions of someone you think you hate, give the person a second chance. If you give the person a second chance, you might find out that despite a person’s rough edges, you actually like them. As a result, giving someone a second chance could transform many potentially unhappy and awkward interactions into positive interactions that you enjoy.
3-2. Learn about the person.
Sometimes we make snap decisions about people based on our initial encounter with them and then quickly develop negative feelings towards them. In order to overcome this, try to learn more about the person you hate. You might just learn that you actually like the person, despite their rough edges.
Ask them about their life and experiences.
Engage them in long conversations. Talk to them about mutual interests, philosophy, current events, or more.
Find out their likes and dislikes.
Consider inviting them out to dinner or to have a cup of coffee. If you’re weary of one-on-one time, invite another friend or friends to help create some space between you two.
3-3. Develop empathy for the person.
An important way to help you be nice to someone you hate is to try to develop empathy for that person. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and even take on some of the feelings of another person. If you empathize with a person, you’ll be able to put yourself in their situation and you might even find yourself being nice to them without even trying. Ask yourself several questions when trying to empathize with the person you hate:
Have they had hardships or other challenges that you should try to understand?
Does the person come from a socio-economic or family background that is drastically different from your own?
Do you know enough about the person to hate them or to judge them? If you don’t, try to gather more information.
3-4. Examine why you hate the person.
One of the most important things you should do in order to be nice to someone you hate is to examine why you dislike the person. Ultimately, examining your feelings for someone will help you figure out just why you don’t like the person and may give you some insight into overcoming your dislike and being nicer to that person.
Think about things the person says or does.
Think about your own prejudices and biases.
Think about the context in which you know the person. Context is very important, and might color the way you think of the person.
3-5. Focus on your goals.
When dealing with someone you don’t like, you should always remember your goals. Most often, being mean or rude to someone will not further your goals in life – but being nice will. As a result, being goal-oriented will help you to overcome your negative feelings for a person and motivate you to be nice. Consider:
If you work with someone you hate, you might need to be nice in order to collaborate on a project. In addition, if someone you hate is your boss, you’ll have to be nice in order to keep your job.
If someone you hate is in your social circle, you may need to be nice in order to maintain your position in the group. That person might also be important to a mutual friend, and being mean to the person will just alienate your friend.
Whenever coming into contact with someone you hate, always remind yourself of whatever goal you might have, and how being nice to the person will further your goals.
3-6. Consider that you may be the problem.
While very often we hate people because of what they’ve said to us or have done to us, sometimes we form a hatred based on factors beyond the person’s control. In this case, you really need to consider your own actions and attitudes in order to figure out if you are actually the problem. You might find out that you’ve done something to offend the person which led them to antagonize you. Ultimately, accepting that you initiated the problem or are the cause of the problem will empower you to move beyond hatred.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Interacting with Someone You Hate\\n1-1. Maintain positive posture and body language.\\nOne way to send positive signals to someone you hate is to maintain positive posture and body language. Holding positive body language will send non-verbal signals to the other person that you actually don’t hate them. At the same time, if you’re not aware of your body language, you just might send negative signals to someone you hate. \\nSmile, but don’t smile in a weird way.\\nStand up and be confident.\\nAvoid crossing your arms or taking other defensive postures.\\nDon’t violate their personal space.\\n1-2. Focus on the positive.\\nWhen interacting with someone you hate, always make sure to focus on the positive. The more positive you are, the nicer you’ll seem – even if you hate the person. In addition, your positive attitude might rub off on the person you hate, they might be more positive, and you might wind up liking them.\\nPoint out the positive things going in your life and among your mutual friends and acquaintances. For example, say \\\"I think Sarah really deserved that promotion. She's a hard worker.\\\"\\nOnly say good things about other people. For example, say \\\"John's new haircut looks nice, doesn't it?\\\"\\nCompliment the person on their achievements and congratulate them on good things going on in their life.\\n1-3. Avoid arguing with them.\\nSometimes we deal with people who are abrasive or argumentative. We don't want to interact with them, but we hate to let them go unchallenged. However, if your goal is to be nice to someone like this, you can’t fall into their trap. Avoid confrontations and arguments with them at all costs. Instead:\\nPolitely excuse yourself it they are doing or saying something that challenges you in a rude way. For example, say: \\\"I have not seen Raul in a long time, please excuse me.\\\"\\nChange the subject to a topic that will be harder for them to anger you about when talking. For example, say: \\\"On a different note, what do you think about that White Sox winning the World Series?\\\"\\nDon’t talk touchy subjects, such as politics, religion, race and ethnicity, or anything that could potentially offend the person.\\n1-4. Avoid sweating the small things.\\nEmbracing a care-free attitude will help you deal with people you don’t like. The more relaxed and care-free you are, the easier it’ll be to let small annoyances and transgressions roll off your back. In addition, the person you’re dealing with might see your relaxed demeanor and loosen up themselves.\\nTell yourself that small things don't matter.\\nDon't read too much into people's actions or words -- take them at face value.\\nDon't let things like people flaking out or blowing you off bother you.\\n1-5. Communicate with them about your feelings.\\nPerhaps one way to improve your relationship with the person you hate is to talk to them about your feelings, what they do to antagonize you, and what both of you can do to make your interactions more pleasant. If you successfully communicate, you might be able to foster a relationship that is healthier and in which both of you form a true friendship.\\nSpeak in terms of “I feel.” For example, say \\\"I feel we could become better friends, John.\\\"\\nDon’t make accusations.\\nAsk them for their feedback about what they perceive your relationship to be. For example, say: \\\"How do you feel about our friendship, do you think we could improve it?\\\"\\n1-6. Do nice things for the person you hate.\\nOne way to be nice to someone you hate is to offer to do favors and other things for that person. Offering to do favors for the person will signal that you either like or care for the person instead of hating them. Ultimately, doing nice things for the person will not just give the impression that you like the person but it may help create a relationship in which both of you reciprocate and respect each other.\\nIf the person mentions they’re having a problem with something (and you can help), offer assistance.\\nIf you know the person in a work environment, offer to cover for them if they’re sick or for some reason have to miss work.\\nBring the person food or other small gifts when they’re going through a bad period in their life.\\n2. Controlling Yourself and Limiting Interactions\\n2-1. Control your emotions.\\nWhen dealing with someone you absolutely hate, make sure to control your emotions at all cost. In the back of your mind, you might be thinking how much contempt you have, but there is no way to be nice if you let your feelings get the better of you. Stay calm, think about your goal of being nice, and let your brain rule the day.\\nThink about your own behavior, rather than their behavior.\\nFocus on your goal of being nice.\\nDon’t let their comments or actions provoke you into rash behavior. Regardless of whatever they do or say, just stay cool.\\n2-2. Say less.\\nOne tactic to use when talking to someone you hate is to say less than you normally would under other circumstances. Saying less will help you in several ways. It’ll open you up to less opportunities when you may let your contempt or hatred slip from your lips. It will also minimize the amount of time you’re actually engaging the person.\\nBe polite and kind, but keep your statements and responses relatively short and concise.\\nDon’t be curt, but rather try to come off as quiet and thoughtful.\\nIf they question you about something, respond to them by telling them you’ll have to think about it, or you’ll get back to them later. This way, you’ll keep your response minimal and you’ll be able to think about your response.\\n2-3. Minimize interactions.\\nPerhaps the best way to maintain cordial relations with someone you don’t like is to minimize interactions with the person. Minimizing interactions will limit occurrences in which you might be mean to the person. The less face-to-face time, the more likely you’ll be able to control yourself and the less the person will actually wear on you and antagonize you.\\nOnly interact when you have to.\\nThink beforehand of reasons why you may have to excuse yourself. Don’t lie, but instead make obligations that you’ll have to attend to. Some examples might mean meeting up with family or friends elsewhere.\\nPlan your schedule around them as to avoid them when possible.\\n2-4. Be deliberate.\\nIn every interaction with the person you hate, be deliberate about what you say and do. Being deliberate will help you to control your actions and will hopefully prevent the person from reading negativity into your interaction. Ultimately, the best way to be nice to someone you hate is to engage with them in a careful and deliberate manner.\\nSay only what you are comfortable sharing with them.\\nThink of what you will say to the person in advance.\\nDon’t shoot from the hip and respond to their comments and actions without thought.\\n3. Changing Your Attitude About Someone\\n3-1. Decide to give the person a second chance.\\nInstead of relying on first impressions of someone you think you hate, give the person a second chance. If you give the person a second chance, you might find out that despite a person’s rough edges, you actually like them. As a result, giving someone a second chance could transform many potentially unhappy and awkward interactions into positive interactions that you enjoy.\\n3-2. Learn about the person.\\nSometimes we make snap decisions about people based on our initial encounter with them and then quickly develop negative feelings towards them. In order to overcome this, try to learn more about the person you hate. You might just learn that you actually like the person, despite their rough edges.\\nAsk them about their life and experiences.\\nEngage them in long conversations. Talk to them about mutual interests, philosophy, current events, or more.\\nFind out their likes and dislikes.\\nConsider inviting them out to dinner or to have a cup of coffee. If you’re weary of one-on-one time, invite another friend or friends to help create some space between you two.\\n3-3. Develop empathy for the person.\\nAn important way to help you be nice to someone you hate is to try to develop empathy for that person. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and even take on some of the feelings of another person. If you empathize with a person, you’ll be able to put yourself in their situation and you might even find yourself being nice to them without even trying. Ask yourself several questions when trying to empathize with the person you hate:\\nHave they had hardships or other challenges that you should try to understand?\\nDoes the person come from a socio-economic or family background that is drastically different from your own?\\nDo you know enough about the person to hate them or to judge them? If you don’t, try to gather more information.\\n3-4. Examine why you hate the person.\\nOne of the most important things you should do in order to be nice to someone you hate is to examine why you dislike the person. Ultimately, examining your feelings for someone will help you figure out just why you don’t like the person and may give you some insight into overcoming your dislike and being nicer to that person.\\nThink about things the person says or does.\\nThink about your own prejudices and biases.\\nThink about the context in which you know the person. Context is very important, and might color the way you think of the person.\\n3-5. Focus on your goals.\\nWhen dealing with someone you don’t like, you should always remember your goals. Most often, being mean or rude to someone will not further your goals in life – but being nice will. As a result, being goal-oriented will help you to overcome your negative feelings for a person and motivate you to be nice. Consider:\\nIf you work with someone you hate, you might need to be nice in order to collaborate on a project. In addition, if someone you hate is your boss, you’ll have to be nice in order to keep your job.\\nIf someone you hate is in your social circle, you may need to be nice in order to maintain your position in the group. That person might also be important to a mutual friend, and being mean to the person will just alienate your friend.\\nWhenever coming into contact with someone you hate, always remind yourself of whatever goal you might have, and how being nice to the person will further your goals.\\n3-6. Consider that you may be the problem.\\nWhile very often we hate people because of what they’ve said to us or have done to us, sometimes we form a hatred based on factors beyond the person’s control. In this case, you really need to consider your own actions and attitudes in order to figure out if you are actually the problem. You might find out that you’ve done something to offend the person which led them to antagonize you. Ultimately, accepting that you initiated the problem or are the cause of the problem will empower you to move beyond hatred.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You can't always avoid dealing with people you dislike, but that doesn't mean there has to be drama when you see them! We'll help you make the best of things so you can—hopefully—get along in the short term.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Someone You Hate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain positive posture and body language.\", \"描述\": \"One way to send positive signals to someone you hate is to maintain positive posture and body language. Holding positive body language will send non-verbal signals to the other person that you actually don’t hate them. At the same time, if you’re not aware of your body language, you just might send negative signals to someone you hate. \\nSmile, but don’t smile in a weird way.\\nStand up and be confident.\\nAvoid crossing your arms or taking other defensive postures.\\nDon’t violate their personal space.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positive.\", \"描述\": \"When interacting with someone you hate, always make sure to focus on the positive. The more positive you are, the nicer you’ll seem – even if you hate the person. In addition, your positive attitude might rub off on the person you hate, they might be more positive, and you might wind up liking them.\\nPoint out the positive things going in your life and among your mutual friends and acquaintances. For example, say \\\"I think Sarah really deserved that promotion. She's a hard worker.\\\"\\nOnly say good things about other people. For example, say \\\"John's new haircut looks nice, doesn't it?\\\"\\nCompliment the person on their achievements and congratulate them on good things going on in their life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid arguing with them.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes we deal with people who are abrasive or argumentative. We don't want to interact with them, but we hate to let them go unchallenged. However, if your goal is to be nice to someone like this, you can’t fall into their trap. Avoid confrontations and arguments with them at all costs. Instead:\\nPolitely excuse yourself it they are doing or saying something that challenges you in a rude way. For example, say: \\\"I have not seen Raul in a long time, please excuse me.\\\"\\nChange the subject to a topic that will be harder for them to anger you about when talking. For example, say: \\\"On a different note, what do you think about that White Sox winning the World Series?\\\"\\nDon’t talk touchy subjects, such as politics, religion, race and ethnicity, or anything that could potentially offend the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid sweating the small things.\", \"描述\": \"Embracing a care-free attitude will help you deal with people you don’t like. The more relaxed and care-free you are, the easier it’ll be to let small annoyances and transgressions roll off your back. In addition, the person you’re dealing with might see your relaxed demeanor and loosen up themselves.\\nTell yourself that small things don't matter.\\nDon't read too much into people's actions or words -- take them at face value.\\nDon't let things like people flaking out or blowing you off bother you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Communicate with them about your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps one way to improve your relationship with the person you hate is to talk to them about your feelings, what they do to antagonize you, and what both of you can do to make your interactions more pleasant. If you successfully communicate, you might be able to foster a relationship that is healthier and in which both of you form a true friendship.\\nSpeak in terms of “I feel.” For example, say \\\"I feel we could become better friends, John.\\\"\\nDon’t make accusations.\\nAsk them for their feedback about what they perceive your relationship to be. For example, say: \\\"How do you feel about our friendship, do you think we could improve it?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do nice things for the person you hate.\", \"描述\": \"One way to be nice to someone you hate is to offer to do favors and other things for that person. Offering to do favors for the person will signal that you either like or care for the person instead of hating them. Ultimately, doing nice things for the person will not just give the impression that you like the person but it may help create a relationship in which both of you reciprocate and respect each other.\\nIf the person mentions they’re having a problem with something (and you can help), offer assistance.\\nIf you know the person in a work environment, offer to cover for them if they’re sick or for some reason have to miss work.\\nBring the person food or other small gifts when they’re going through a bad period in their life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Controlling Yourself and Limiting Interactions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Control your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"When dealing with someone you absolutely hate, make sure to control your emotions at all cost. In the back of your mind, you might be thinking how much contempt you have, but there is no way to be nice if you let your feelings get the better of you. Stay calm, think about your goal of being nice, and let your brain rule the day.\\nThink about your own behavior, rather than their behavior.\\nFocus on your goal of being nice.\\nDon’t let their comments or actions provoke you into rash behavior. Regardless of whatever they do or say, just stay cool.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say less.\", \"描述\": \"One tactic to use when talking to someone you hate is to say less than you normally would under other circumstances. Saying less will help you in several ways. It’ll open you up to less opportunities when you may let your contempt or hatred slip from your lips. It will also minimize the amount of time you’re actually engaging the person.\\nBe polite and kind, but keep your statements and responses relatively short and concise.\\nDon’t be curt, but rather try to come off as quiet and thoughtful.\\nIf they question you about something, respond to them by telling them you’ll have to think about it, or you’ll get back to them later. This way, you’ll keep your response minimal and you’ll be able to think about your response.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Minimize interactions.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps the best way to maintain cordial relations with someone you don’t like is to minimize interactions with the person. Minimizing interactions will limit occurrences in which you might be mean to the person. The less face-to-face time, the more likely you’ll be able to control yourself and the less the person will actually wear on you and antagonize you.\\nOnly interact when you have to.\\nThink beforehand of reasons why you may have to excuse yourself. Don’t lie, but instead make obligations that you’ll have to attend to. Some examples might mean meeting up with family or friends elsewhere.\\nPlan your schedule around them as to avoid them when possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be deliberate.\", \"描述\": \"In every interaction with the person you hate, be deliberate about what you say and do. Being deliberate will help you to control your actions and will hopefully prevent the person from reading negativity into your interaction. Ultimately, the best way to be nice to someone you hate is to engage with them in a careful and deliberate manner.\\nSay only what you are comfortable sharing with them.\\nThink of what you will say to the person in advance.\\nDon’t shoot from the hip and respond to their comments and actions without thought.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Attitude About Someone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide to give the person a second chance.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of relying on first impressions of someone you think you hate, give the person a second chance. If you give the person a second chance, you might find out that despite a person’s rough edges, you actually like them. As a result, giving someone a second chance could transform many potentially unhappy and awkward interactions into positive interactions that you enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn about the person.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes we make snap decisions about people based on our initial encounter with them and then quickly develop negative feelings towards them. In order to overcome this, try to learn more about the person you hate. You might just learn that you actually like the person, despite their rough edges.\\nAsk them about their life and experiences.\\nEngage them in long conversations. Talk to them about mutual interests, philosophy, current events, or more.\\nFind out their likes and dislikes.\\nConsider inviting them out to dinner or to have a cup of coffee. If you’re weary of one-on-one time, invite another friend or friends to help create some space between you two.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop empathy for the person.\", \"描述\": \"An important way to help you be nice to someone you hate is to try to develop empathy for that person. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and even take on some of the feelings of another person. If you empathize with a person, you’ll be able to put yourself in their situation and you might even find yourself being nice to them without even trying. Ask yourself several questions when trying to empathize with the person you hate:\\nHave they had hardships or other challenges that you should try to understand?\\nDoes the person come from a socio-economic or family background that is drastically different from your own?\\nDo you know enough about the person to hate them or to judge them? If you don’t, try to gather more information.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Examine why you hate the person.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most important things you should do in order to be nice to someone you hate is to examine why you dislike the person. Ultimately, examining your feelings for someone will help you figure out just why you don’t like the person and may give you some insight into overcoming your dislike and being nicer to that person.\\nThink about things the person says or does.\\nThink about your own prejudices and biases.\\nThink about the context in which you know the person. Context is very important, and might color the way you think of the person.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on your goals.\", \"描述\": \"When dealing with someone you don’t like, you should always remember your goals. Most often, being mean or rude to someone will not further your goals in life – but being nice will. As a result, being goal-oriented will help you to overcome your negative feelings for a person and motivate you to be nice. Consider:\\nIf you work with someone you hate, you might need to be nice in order to collaborate on a project. In addition, if someone you hate is your boss, you’ll have to be nice in order to keep your job.\\nIf someone you hate is in your social circle, you may need to be nice in order to maintain your position in the group. That person might also be important to a mutual friend, and being mean to the person will just alienate your friend.\\nWhenever coming into contact with someone you hate, always remind yourself of whatever goal you might have, and how being nice to the person will further your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Consider that you may be the problem.\", \"描述\": \"While very often we hate people because of what they’ve said to us or have done to us, sometimes we form a hatred based on factors beyond the person’s control. In this case, you really need to consider your own actions and attitudes in order to figure out if you are actually the problem. You might find out that you’ve done something to offend the person which led them to antagonize you. Ultimately, accepting that you initiated the problem or are the cause of the problem will empower you to move beyond hatred.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,982 | How to Be Nice to Teachers | 1. Trying Your Best in School
1-1. Be prepared.
Try to be prepared for every lesson so that you can follow along easily. Make sure you have the right supplies, books and completed assignments for each lesson. When you go into class, be ready to learn. When you're doing your homework the night before, write down any questions you have about it.
Make sure to ask your teacher those questions the next day.
This will show your teacher that learning is important to you.
1-2. Participate in lessons.
Try not to drift off or get distracted. If the teacher asks the class a question and you know the answer, raise your hand. Get involved in group discussions whenever you can. When you do join in, never talk over a classmate or interrupt your teacher. If you aren’t sure how to join a class discussion, ask a question.
You could say something like, “Mrs. Bell, can we talk more about the main character’s motivations in the book?”
You could also say something like, “Mr. Turner, can we please go through that equation one more time? I’m not sure I understand the last part of it.”
1-3. Work on your assignments when instructed.
When the teacher gives in-class assignments, always do them when you’re supposed to. Work during the work period provided so that you can finish your assignments on time. Try not to distract anyone nearby who’s also working on their assignments.
If you have a question about something on the assignment, raise your hand and ask the teacher politely for help.
Then say something like, “Ms. Miller, I’m not sure if I understand this part of the assignment. Can you explain it?”
After the teacher helps you, always say “thank you.”
1-4. Do your homework.
Always doing your homework is a way to show your teacher that you care about the class and what you're learning. Teachers work long hours teaching kids all day, so when students don’t do their homework or complete assignments, they feel ignored. Teachers, like everyone, want to feel that what they do matters. When students show that they are learning things, it makes their teachers happy.
Doing your homework is one of the easiest ways to be nice to your teacher!
If you’ve been out sick and missed class, always ask your teacher what you missed. Be sure to get your makeup assignments and homework.
1-5. Follow directions.
Whenever the teacher asks you to do something specific, be sure to follow their directions exactly. Do your assignments the way the teacher told you to. Whenever your teacher verbally asks you to do something, always do it without making a fuss.
Never do anything disrespectful, like make a face or roll your eyes, when the teacher asks you to do something.
If you don’t understand the directions given, don’t be afraid to raise your hand and ask a question or for assistance.
1-6. Avoid distracting other students.
Never make excessive noise or talk to your classmates during a lesson. Don't shuffle papers around loudly, dig noisily in your back pack or slam books around. This will interrupt your classmates’ concentration and your teacher. If you can’t pay attention when you sit by your friends, try sitting elsewhere. You can save small talk with your friends for after class.
If you have assigned seats, go to your teacher privately after class and ask to be moved.
Let them know you'd like to be moved so that you can concentrate on lessons better. Your teacher will appreciate that you are taking an active role in your education.
2. Showing Respect for Your Teachers
2-1. Be on time.
Teachers expect you to be on time to class. Everyone is late occasionally, but making a habit of being late will definitely upset your teacher. It makes them feel like you don’t care about the class and don’t respect their time. On the occasions when you are late, apologize to your teacher sincerely and come into class as quietly as possible.
Don’t interrupt the teacher in the middle of a lesson by bursting in late and making a lot of noise.
This distracts the other students and will no doubt irritate the teacher, as well. It is an open display of disrespect.
2-2. Practice good manners.
Greet your teacher with a smile whenever you see them. Say “please” and “thank you” whenever you interact with them. Refer to them as “ma’am” or “sir” when appropriate. When you use their last name, always say the proper “Ms.” “Mrs.” or “Mr.” in front of it. Never raise your voice at your teacher when you’re upset. Speak in a calm voice and use proper grammar.
For example, “Yes sir, Mr. Smith, I did my homework.” Another example, “May I please go to the restroom, Ms. Roberts? Thank you.”
Don’t use slang or speak roughly. Never laugh at or make fun of your teachers.
Be sincere. Avoid trying to be the teacher’s pet or acting artificially towards them. Teachers usually see through that act quickly.
2-3. Pay attention during lessons.
Always follow along closely during lessons. Raise your hand, ask questions and try to learn the material as best as you can. When appropriate, take notes during class. Taking notes will help you stay focused. When homework is assigned, write it down. Avoid putting your head down on your desk, writing notes to your friends or drifting off. Give the teacher your full attention.
If you have a cell phone or tablet with you, don’t take it out and use it during a lesson.
It’s best to keep electronic devices put away during class. When you have them out, it can be very tempting to use them.
2-4. Be helpful whenever you can.
This can be as simple as holding the door open for your teacher when they have their hands full or helping them pick up objects that have been knocked over. Offer to pass out worksheets to the class or pick up everyone's tests.
If your teacher needs a quick errand done, such as making more copies of an assignment, offer to do it.
Being helpful in little ways is a great way to be nice to your teachers.
2-5. Raise your hand before speaking.
Never interrupt your teacher or speak out of turn. If you have a question or something to say, always raise your hand and wait until your teacher addresses you. Raising your hand and then blurting something out without waiting for your teacher’s acknowledgement is just as bad as not raising your hand at all.
Avoid asking your teacher silly or pointless questions when you raise your hand. If you have something to say, be succinct – try not to waste any class time.
If you have a question that’s not related to the lesson, try to wait until the end of class to ask.
2-6. Follow the classroom rules.
Most teachers make their classroom rules very clear on the first day of class, so you should be familiar with them. If you need a refresher, look for the handout you were given at the beginning of the year. Make sure you follow these rules exactly.
If you see one of your friends breaking a rule in class, try to get them to stop.
Do whatever you can to help your fellow classmates follow the rules, too.
3. Sharing Your Appreciation
3-1. Write a letter.
This is a great gift to give your teacher at the end of the year. Write about how much your teacher taught you in the last year and how much they mean to you. Describe one or two of your favorite class memories. If it’s a teacher you especially loved, you could add a few lines about something they did that helped you grow and become a better person in the last year.
Put your letter in a nice envelope.
Wait until one of the last days of the school year and leave the letter on your teacher’s desk.
3-2. Create a “Why We’re Thankful for You” list.
This is a project that the whole class can participate in. Get a sheet of nice card stock and start a list of reasons why you and your classmates are thankful for your teacher. Encourage everyone to list 1 or 2 reasons they feel that way on the nice paper.
Once it’s done, put the list in an attractive frame.
Leave it on your teacher’s desk or hang it on the wall.
3-3. Make a scrapbook.
This is another activity that the whole class should participate in. Come up with 3 basic questions about your teacher and pass them out to everyone in the class. Encourage everyone to answer the questions in their best handwriting and be sure to give everyone a few days to finish it. Once everyone has finished, collect all of the answers and get your classmates to help you arrange them in a book, along with any photos or drawings that anyone would like to submit.
Decorate the book and present it to your teacher as a class.
Examples of 3 questions to use: Why are you thankful for our teacher? What’s your favorite memory from this year? How is our teacher the best teacher ever?
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Trying Your Best in School\\n1-1. Be prepared.\\nTry to be prepared for every lesson so that you can follow along easily. Make sure you have the right supplies, books and completed assignments for each lesson. When you go into class, be ready to learn. When you're doing your homework the night before, write down any questions you have about it.\\nMake sure to ask your teacher those questions the next day.\\nThis will show your teacher that learning is important to you.\\n1-2. Participate in lessons.\\nTry not to drift off or get distracted. If the teacher asks the class a question and you know the answer, raise your hand. Get involved in group discussions whenever you can. When you do join in, never talk over a classmate or interrupt your teacher. If you aren’t sure how to join a class discussion, ask a question.\\nYou could say something like, “Mrs. Bell, can we talk more about the main character’s motivations in the book?”\\nYou could also say something like, “Mr. Turner, can we please go through that equation one more time? I’m not sure I understand the last part of it.”\\n1-3. Work on your assignments when instructed.\\nWhen the teacher gives in-class assignments, always do them when you’re supposed to. Work during the work period provided so that you can finish your assignments on time. Try not to distract anyone nearby who’s also working on their assignments.\\nIf you have a question about something on the assignment, raise your hand and ask the teacher politely for help.\\nThen say something like, “Ms. Miller, I’m not sure if I understand this part of the assignment. Can you explain it?”\\nAfter the teacher helps you, always say “thank you.”\\n1-4. Do your homework.\\nAlways doing your homework is a way to show your teacher that you care about the class and what you're learning. Teachers work long hours teaching kids all day, so when students don’t do their homework or complete assignments, they feel ignored. Teachers, like everyone, want to feel that what they do matters. When students show that they are learning things, it makes their teachers happy. \\nDoing your homework is one of the easiest ways to be nice to your teacher!\\nIf you’ve been out sick and missed class, always ask your teacher what you missed. Be sure to get your makeup assignments and homework.\\n1-5. Follow directions.\\nWhenever the teacher asks you to do something specific, be sure to follow their directions exactly. Do your assignments the way the teacher told you to. Whenever your teacher verbally asks you to do something, always do it without making a fuss.\\nNever do anything disrespectful, like make a face or roll your eyes, when the teacher asks you to do something.\\nIf you don’t understand the directions given, don’t be afraid to raise your hand and ask a question or for assistance.\\n1-6. Avoid distracting other students.\\nNever make excessive noise or talk to your classmates during a lesson. Don't shuffle papers around loudly, dig noisily in your back pack or slam books around. This will interrupt your classmates’ concentration and your teacher. If you can’t pay attention when you sit by your friends, try sitting elsewhere. You can save small talk with your friends for after class.\\nIf you have assigned seats, go to your teacher privately after class and ask to be moved.\\nLet them know you'd like to be moved so that you can concentrate on lessons better. Your teacher will appreciate that you are taking an active role in your education.\\n2. Showing Respect for Your Teachers\\n2-1. Be on time.\\nTeachers expect you to be on time to class. Everyone is late occasionally, but making a habit of being late will definitely upset your teacher. It makes them feel like you don’t care about the class and don’t respect their time. On the occasions when you are late, apologize to your teacher sincerely and come into class as quietly as possible.\\nDon’t interrupt the teacher in the middle of a lesson by bursting in late and making a lot of noise.\\nThis distracts the other students and will no doubt irritate the teacher, as well. It is an open display of disrespect.\\n2-2. Practice good manners.\\nGreet your teacher with a smile whenever you see them. Say “please” and “thank you” whenever you interact with them. Refer to them as “ma’am” or “sir” when appropriate. When you use their last name, always say the proper “Ms.” “Mrs.” or “Mr.” in front of it. Never raise your voice at your teacher when you’re upset. Speak in a calm voice and use proper grammar.\\nFor example, “Yes sir, Mr. Smith, I did my homework.” Another example, “May I please go to the restroom, Ms. Roberts? Thank you.”\\nDon’t use slang or speak roughly. Never laugh at or make fun of your teachers.\\nBe sincere. Avoid trying to be the teacher’s pet or acting artificially towards them. Teachers usually see through that act quickly.\\n2-3. Pay attention during lessons.\\nAlways follow along closely during lessons. Raise your hand, ask questions and try to learn the material as best as you can. When appropriate, take notes during class. Taking notes will help you stay focused. When homework is assigned, write it down. Avoid putting your head down on your desk, writing notes to your friends or drifting off. Give the teacher your full attention.\\nIf you have a cell phone or tablet with you, don’t take it out and use it during a lesson.\\nIt’s best to keep electronic devices put away during class. When you have them out, it can be very tempting to use them.\\n2-4. Be helpful whenever you can.\\nThis can be as simple as holding the door open for your teacher when they have their hands full or helping them pick up objects that have been knocked over. Offer to pass out worksheets to the class or pick up everyone's tests.\\nIf your teacher needs a quick errand done, such as making more copies of an assignment, offer to do it.\\nBeing helpful in little ways is a great way to be nice to your teachers.\\n2-5. Raise your hand before speaking.\\nNever interrupt your teacher or speak out of turn. If you have a question or something to say, always raise your hand and wait until your teacher addresses you. Raising your hand and then blurting something out without waiting for your teacher’s acknowledgement is just as bad as not raising your hand at all.\\nAvoid asking your teacher silly or pointless questions when you raise your hand. If you have something to say, be succinct – try not to waste any class time.\\nIf you have a question that’s not related to the lesson, try to wait until the end of class to ask.\\n2-6. Follow the classroom rules.\\nMost teachers make their classroom rules very clear on the first day of class, so you should be familiar with them. If you need a refresher, look for the handout you were given at the beginning of the year. Make sure you follow these rules exactly.\\nIf you see one of your friends breaking a rule in class, try to get them to stop.\\nDo whatever you can to help your fellow classmates follow the rules, too.\\n3. Sharing Your Appreciation\\n3-1. Write a letter.\\nThis is a great gift to give your teacher at the end of the year. Write about how much your teacher taught you in the last year and how much they mean to you. Describe one or two of your favorite class memories. If it’s a teacher you especially loved, you could add a few lines about something they did that helped you grow and become a better person in the last year.\\nPut your letter in a nice envelope.\\nWait until one of the last days of the school year and leave the letter on your teacher’s desk.\\n3-2. Create a “Why We’re Thankful for You” list.\\nThis is a project that the whole class can participate in. Get a sheet of nice card stock and start a list of reasons why you and your classmates are thankful for your teacher. Encourage everyone to list 1 or 2 reasons they feel that way on the nice paper.\\nOnce it’s done, put the list in an attractive frame.\\nLeave it on your teacher’s desk or hang it on the wall.\\n3-3. Make a scrapbook.\\nThis is another activity that the whole class should participate in. Come up with 3 basic questions about your teacher and pass them out to everyone in the class. Encourage everyone to answer the questions in their best handwriting and be sure to give everyone a few days to finish it. Once everyone has finished, collect all of the answers and get your classmates to help you arrange them in a book, along with any photos or drawings that anyone would like to submit.\\nDecorate the book and present it to your teacher as a class.\\nExamples of 3 questions to use: Why are you thankful for our teacher? What’s your favorite memory from this year? How is our teacher the best teacher ever?\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes it’s hard to know how to act around a teacher, especially at the beginning of the year when you’ve only just met them. However, there is one thing you should always do around your teacher – be nice to them. Luckily, there are lots of easy ways to do that! Being nice to your teacher is the first step toward developing a positive relationship with them.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Trying Your Best in School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be prepared.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be prepared for every lesson so that you can follow along easily. Make sure you have the right supplies, books and completed assignments for each lesson. When you go into class, be ready to learn. When you're doing your homework the night before, write down any questions you have about it.\\nMake sure to ask your teacher those questions the next day.\\nThis will show your teacher that learning is important to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Participate in lessons.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to drift off or get distracted. If the teacher asks the class a question and you know the answer, raise your hand. Get involved in group discussions whenever you can. When you do join in, never talk over a classmate or interrupt your teacher. If you aren’t sure how to join a class discussion, ask a question.\\nYou could say something like, “Mrs. Bell, can we talk more about the main character’s motivations in the book?”\\nYou could also say something like, “Mr. Turner, can we please go through that equation one more time? I’m not sure I understand the last part of it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on your assignments when instructed.\", \"描述\": \"When the teacher gives in-class assignments, always do them when you’re supposed to. Work during the work period provided so that you can finish your assignments on time. Try not to distract anyone nearby who’s also working on their assignments.\\nIf you have a question about something on the assignment, raise your hand and ask the teacher politely for help.\\nThen say something like, “Ms. Miller, I’m not sure if I understand this part of the assignment. Can you explain it?”\\nAfter the teacher helps you, always say “thank you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do your homework.\", \"描述\": \"Always doing your homework is a way to show your teacher that you care about the class and what you're learning. Teachers work long hours teaching kids all day, so when students don’t do their homework or complete assignments, they feel ignored. Teachers, like everyone, want to feel that what they do matters. When students show that they are learning things, it makes their teachers happy. \\nDoing your homework is one of the easiest ways to be nice to your teacher!\\nIf you’ve been out sick and missed class, always ask your teacher what you missed. Be sure to get your makeup assignments and homework.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Follow directions.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever the teacher asks you to do something specific, be sure to follow their directions exactly. Do your assignments the way the teacher told you to. Whenever your teacher verbally asks you to do something, always do it without making a fuss.\\nNever do anything disrespectful, like make a face or roll your eyes, when the teacher asks you to do something.\\nIf you don’t understand the directions given, don’t be afraid to raise your hand and ask a question or for assistance.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid distracting other students.\", \"描述\": \"Never make excessive noise or talk to your classmates during a lesson. Don't shuffle papers around loudly, dig noisily in your back pack or slam books around. This will interrupt your classmates’ concentration and your teacher. If you can’t pay attention when you sit by your friends, try sitting elsewhere. You can save small talk with your friends for after class.\\nIf you have assigned seats, go to your teacher privately after class and ask to be moved.\\nLet them know you'd like to be moved so that you can concentrate on lessons better. Your teacher will appreciate that you are taking an active role in your education.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Respect for Your Teachers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be on time.\", \"描述\": \"Teachers expect you to be on time to class. Everyone is late occasionally, but making a habit of being late will definitely upset your teacher. It makes them feel like you don’t care about the class and don’t respect their time. On the occasions when you are late, apologize to your teacher sincerely and come into class as quietly as possible.\\nDon’t interrupt the teacher in the middle of a lesson by bursting in late and making a lot of noise.\\nThis distracts the other students and will no doubt irritate the teacher, as well. It is an open display of disrespect.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Greet your teacher with a smile whenever you see them. Say “please” and “thank you” whenever you interact with them. Refer to them as “ma’am” or “sir” when appropriate. When you use their last name, always say the proper “Ms.” “Mrs.” or “Mr.” in front of it. Never raise your voice at your teacher when you’re upset. Speak in a calm voice and use proper grammar.\\nFor example, “Yes sir, Mr. Smith, I did my homework.” Another example, “May I please go to the restroom, Ms. Roberts? Thank you.”\\nDon’t use slang or speak roughly. Never laugh at or make fun of your teachers.\\nBe sincere. Avoid trying to be the teacher’s pet or acting artificially towards them. Teachers usually see through that act quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention during lessons.\", \"描述\": \"Always follow along closely during lessons. Raise your hand, ask questions and try to learn the material as best as you can. When appropriate, take notes during class. Taking notes will help you stay focused. When homework is assigned, write it down. Avoid putting your head down on your desk, writing notes to your friends or drifting off. Give the teacher your full attention.\\nIf you have a cell phone or tablet with you, don’t take it out and use it during a lesson.\\nIt’s best to keep electronic devices put away during class. When you have them out, it can be very tempting to use them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be helpful whenever you can.\", \"描述\": \"This can be as simple as holding the door open for your teacher when they have their hands full or helping them pick up objects that have been knocked over. Offer to pass out worksheets to the class or pick up everyone's tests.\\nIf your teacher needs a quick errand done, such as making more copies of an assignment, offer to do it.\\nBeing helpful in little ways is a great way to be nice to your teachers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Raise your hand before speaking.\", \"描述\": \"Never interrupt your teacher or speak out of turn. If you have a question or something to say, always raise your hand and wait until your teacher addresses you. Raising your hand and then blurting something out without waiting for your teacher’s acknowledgement is just as bad as not raising your hand at all.\\nAvoid asking your teacher silly or pointless questions when you raise your hand. If you have something to say, be succinct – try not to waste any class time.\\nIf you have a question that’s not related to the lesson, try to wait until the end of class to ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow the classroom rules.\", \"描述\": \"Most teachers make their classroom rules very clear on the first day of class, so you should be familiar with them. If you need a refresher, look for the handout you were given at the beginning of the year. Make sure you follow these rules exactly.\\nIf you see one of your friends breaking a rule in class, try to get them to stop.\\nDo whatever you can to help your fellow classmates follow the rules, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sharing Your Appreciation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write a letter.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great gift to give your teacher at the end of the year. Write about how much your teacher taught you in the last year and how much they mean to you. Describe one or two of your favorite class memories. If it’s a teacher you especially loved, you could add a few lines about something they did that helped you grow and become a better person in the last year.\\nPut your letter in a nice envelope.\\nWait until one of the last days of the school year and leave the letter on your teacher’s desk.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a “Why We’re Thankful for You” list.\", \"描述\": \"This is a project that the whole class can participate in. Get a sheet of nice card stock and start a list of reasons why you and your classmates are thankful for your teacher. Encourage everyone to list 1 or 2 reasons they feel that way on the nice paper.\\nOnce it’s done, put the list in an attractive frame.\\nLeave it on your teacher’s desk or hang it on the wall.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a scrapbook.\", \"描述\": \"This is another activity that the whole class should participate in. Come up with 3 basic questions about your teacher and pass them out to everyone in the class. Encourage everyone to answer the questions in their best handwriting and be sure to give everyone a few days to finish it. Once everyone has finished, collect all of the answers and get your classmates to help you arrange them in a book, along with any photos or drawings that anyone would like to submit.\\nDecorate the book and present it to your teacher as a class.\\nExamples of 3 questions to use: Why are you thankful for our teacher? What’s your favorite memory from this year? How is our teacher the best teacher ever?\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,983 | How to Be Nice to Your Brother | 1. Saying Something Nice
1-1. Give him a compliment.
Sometimes a kind word is enough of a boost to get someone over a difficult moment or a hard day. Here are a few simple suggestions to try out:
”You have great ideas! You’re always so creative.”
”I’m super lucky to have you as a brother. “
”You’re so fun to play with because you’re so athletic.”
”I really like your smile.”
1-2. Show your love.
Three simple words: “I love you.” They carry an immense amount of weight, and mean so many different things to many different people. Saying you love your brother is an amazing display of emotion.
1-3. Try to avoid the negative.
Try not to be a nag, or tattle-tale, or nuisance. Brothers are no different from anyone else and can easily become riled if they think they're being told on, prattled at, or bothered constantly. Think about how annoying it could be if he were to be this way with you, and really try to remain positive.
Always practice kindness when interacting with your brother! Being kind and speaking to them with respect shows that they should do the same for you.
1-4. Praise him.
Never hold back praise for your brother. If you notice something great he has done, let him know (it's also a good way to get him to do it again).
If he’s been putting in extra effort studying for a specific class, tell him how great his study habits are, and how well he’s going to do in the class.
Even during failure, praise can be used to reinforce resiliency. Try saying, “Great effort. You almost had it that last time.”
Remember to praise the effort and not the result. If you praise the final product or the success, he may associate the praise with success and forget about all the effort it took to accomplish the goal.
2. Doing a Kind Deed
2-1. Back down from trivial and pointless arguments.
There are bound to be arguments occasionally between siblings and they can strike at any age. Instead of continuing to engage in a fighting mood, know which battles are worth pursuing and which ones are best left alone. Try to compromise or even see his side of things for a change when you do feel completely unhappy about what's happening between the two of you. You might just shock him into seeing your point of view as well!
2-2. Practice kindness and respect.
Go out of your way to do this even when it’s abnormal or unappreciated. At the very least it could help you two avoid potential argumentative or bossy situations.
2-3. Clean
This could be a tough task, especially if he is a slob, but it’s something that could really make him happy. Try to put what he likes at the forefront, and what barely gets used into the recesses of the closet.
Organize his movies or music alphabetically. Make it so he knows exactly where his favorites are located.
Fold and organize his clothes. From time to time, clothes just get disorganized. Straighten up his closet and get all the similar items together.
Vacuum and dust. Actual cleaning may take a little elbow grease, but it's a good bet if your brother doesn't really like people messing with his stuff.
2-4. Do extra chores assigned to your brother.
Doing your brother’s chores will give him extra time to do what he likes. Being selfless helps you to really reflect on how much you appreciate and love your brother, and it’s surely something he would appreciate. There may even be the added benefit of your parents noticing and rewarding you.
3. Giving a Gift
3-1. Give him space.
Providing nothing but time alone may not seem like much, but it could be exactly what he needs. Aim to give your brother the space he needs to get on with his life and expect him to do the same for you. While it's nice to spend a little time together, don't crowd him out all the time and try to insist he be your best pal.
3-2. Buy him one of his favorite things.
Unexpected gifts at unexpected times are a great way to make people happy. It doesn’t have to be huge, just make it enough to show you are thinking of him.
If you’re on the way home, try picking up his favorite fast food treat. No one can resist their edible vice.
Checking out at the cash register? Grab a bit of candy he likes. There is a reason those candies are up there, and it’s because most people will make impulse purchases based on the things they like.
A simple card with a heart-felt note is a great way to get your feelings across. Try one that plays music for a good laugh.
3-3. Give him something of yours.
Most people with brothers or sisters covet something their sibling has. If you have an item you don’t use any more, like an article of clothing, some jewelry, or a favorite electronic item, re-gifting is a great way to show you care.
3-4. Make something for him.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant or take a long time, but there are a bunch of ideas for easy-to-make items that show you spent time.
A homemade tic-tac-toe board is simple, and sets up a great time playing a game together. Six moving pieces comprised of X’s and O’s, and a board with four lines, there really isn’t much else to it.
Crochet or knit something simple. If you have particular skill with thread, a crochet project like making a granny square might be a nice item to make.
Try a paper plate clock! Useful, functional, fun, and perfect for your brother to hang up in his room or office. It’s especially useful if he’s always late.
4. Spending Time With Your Brother
4-1. Be there for him during tough times.
Life doesn't always go according to plan and there will be times when he needs you. Be there for him and be supportive when he experiences relationship, job, health, or other problems. In turn, he's more likely to be there for you.
4-2. Go on a trip together.
You can learn a lot about one another when you're away from your normal environs and you're doing something that requires you to support each other. Try to set up some outdoor activities with him to just spend some quality time.
Camping is a great get-away. Set up a tent, start the fire, break out the s’mores. A night under the stars could be a great bonding experience.
Exercise together in the mountains. Grab a mountain bike or just put on some running shoes before you hit the trails.
Fishing is a great way to have a quiet moment together. Sitting near some serene water could provide a moment for you to both have a great discussion, and you might even catch some fish.
If you live apart, make time to meet in a local cafe or one another's house to catch up over coffee or a meal. And if you live overseas, arrange for one of you to make the "journey of a lifetime" to catch up with each other in the foreign destination.
4-3. Find some entertainment together.
Find a way to laugh out loud or cheer with one another, a moment that just allows you to let loose in your brother’s company.
Jokes and tales can be a great way to reconnect without the usual hubbub of sibling life around you. A comedy club could be a great way to laugh until your sides hurt. Maybe you’d even like to try your hand at stand up comedy?
Choose a movie to watch together. Go to the fancy theater, a dollar theater, or rent. Whatever it is, even if it’s something on TV, find a movie in which you will both be able to immerse yourself.
Go to a concert. Dress up, sing all the songs, dance until your heart is content. Going to a concert might even improve your health.
4-4. Stand up for your brother or be there for special events in his life.
Sometimes he might be in a situation where he needs your support and backing in a public way. Be sure to be there for him as a person who trusts and believes in him.
5. Displaying Love
5-1. Give your brother a big hug.
Just hug him and tell him that you love him and that you're proud of him. You don't need any excuse for this; any time is a good time.
5-2. Engage in the good things your brother does.
This means setting aside the things you find annoying, bothersome, and unfair. Try to put aside your sense of competition and desire to outdo him. Simply list what things he does great and show you appreciate those activities.
5-3. Take care of him when he's sick.
Bring him chicken noodle soup, take his temperature, or place a cool washcloth on his forehead. Be his doctor for a day.
5-4. Kiss your brother.
It’s quite common in many cultures to give kisses for a variety of reasons. Sometimes a peck on the cheek will do, and others a kiss on the lips. Maybe even the top of the head or forehead. Wherever the kiss, it’s a simple sign showing you are willing to display emotion.
5-5. Give him a hand massage.
Hands and the surrounding area carry a lot of tension, and it’s not so invasive as to be awkward. This is especially useful if your brother uses his hands for work all day.
5-6. Play with your brother.
Whether it’s rough-housing around, skipping together, playing tag, or a friendly game of punch-buggy, being physical with your brother is a different form of physical interaction he may enjoy. Breaking a sweat together is a great way to bond.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Saying Something Nice\\n1-1. Give him a compliment.\\nSometimes a kind word is enough of a boost to get someone over a difficult moment or a hard day. Here are a few simple suggestions to try out:\\n”You have great ideas! You’re always so creative.”\\n”I’m super lucky to have you as a brother. “\\n”You’re so fun to play with because you’re so athletic.”\\n”I really like your smile.”\\n1-2. Show your love.\\nThree simple words: “I love you.” They carry an immense amount of weight, and mean so many different things to many different people. Saying you love your brother is an amazing display of emotion.\\n1-3. Try to avoid the negative.\\nTry not to be a nag, or tattle-tale, or nuisance. Brothers are no different from anyone else and can easily become riled if they think they're being told on, prattled at, or bothered constantly. Think about how annoying it could be if he were to be this way with you, and really try to remain positive.\\nAlways practice kindness when interacting with your brother! Being kind and speaking to them with respect shows that they should do the same for you.\\n1-4. Praise him.\\nNever hold back praise for your brother. If you notice something great he has done, let him know (it's also a good way to get him to do it again).\\nIf he’s been putting in extra effort studying for a specific class, tell him how great his study habits are, and how well he’s going to do in the class.\\nEven during failure, praise can be used to reinforce resiliency. Try saying, “Great effort. You almost had it that last time.”\\nRemember to praise the effort and not the result. If you praise the final product or the success, he may associate the praise with success and forget about all the effort it took to accomplish the goal.\\n2. Doing a Kind Deed\\n2-1. Back down from trivial and pointless arguments.\\nThere are bound to be arguments occasionally between siblings and they can strike at any age. Instead of continuing to engage in a fighting mood, know which battles are worth pursuing and which ones are best left alone. Try to compromise or even see his side of things for a change when you do feel completely unhappy about what's happening between the two of you. You might just shock him into seeing your point of view as well!\\n2-2. Practice kindness and respect.\\nGo out of your way to do this even when it’s abnormal or unappreciated. At the very least it could help you two avoid potential argumentative or bossy situations.\\n2-3. Clean\\nThis could be a tough task, especially if he is a slob, but it’s something that could really make him happy. Try to put what he likes at the forefront, and what barely gets used into the recesses of the closet.\\nOrganize his movies or music alphabetically. Make it so he knows exactly where his favorites are located.\\nFold and organize his clothes. From time to time, clothes just get disorganized. Straighten up his closet and get all the similar items together.\\nVacuum and dust. Actual cleaning may take a little elbow grease, but it's a good bet if your brother doesn't really like people messing with his stuff.\\n2-4. Do extra chores assigned to your brother.\\nDoing your brother’s chores will give him extra time to do what he likes. Being selfless helps you to really reflect on how much you appreciate and love your brother, and it’s surely something he would appreciate. There may even be the added benefit of your parents noticing and rewarding you.\\n3. Giving a Gift\\n3-1. Give him space.\\nProviding nothing but time alone may not seem like much, but it could be exactly what he needs. Aim to give your brother the space he needs to get on with his life and expect him to do the same for you. While it's nice to spend a little time together, don't crowd him out all the time and try to insist he be your best pal.\\n3-2. Buy him one of his favorite things.\\nUnexpected gifts at unexpected times are a great way to make people happy. It doesn’t have to be huge, just make it enough to show you are thinking of him.\\nIf you’re on the way home, try picking up his favorite fast food treat. No one can resist their edible vice.\\nChecking out at the cash register? Grab a bit of candy he likes. There is a reason those candies are up there, and it’s because most people will make impulse purchases based on the things they like.\\nA simple card with a heart-felt note is a great way to get your feelings across. Try one that plays music for a good laugh.\\n3-3. Give him something of yours.\\nMost people with brothers or sisters covet something their sibling has. If you have an item you don’t use any more, like an article of clothing, some jewelry, or a favorite electronic item, re-gifting is a great way to show you care.\\n3-4. Make something for him.\\nIt doesn’t have to be extravagant or take a long time, but there are a bunch of ideas for easy-to-make items that show you spent time.\\nA homemade tic-tac-toe board is simple, and sets up a great time playing a game together. Six moving pieces comprised of X’s and O’s, and a board with four lines, there really isn’t much else to it.\\nCrochet or knit something simple. If you have particular skill with thread, a crochet project like making a granny square might be a nice item to make.\\nTry a paper plate clock! Useful, functional, fun, and perfect for your brother to hang up in his room or office. It’s especially useful if he’s always late.\\n4. Spending Time With Your Brother\\n4-1. Be there for him during tough times.\\nLife doesn't always go according to plan and there will be times when he needs you. Be there for him and be supportive when he experiences relationship, job, health, or other problems. In turn, he's more likely to be there for you.\\n4-2. Go on a trip together.\\nYou can learn a lot about one another when you're away from your normal environs and you're doing something that requires you to support each other. Try to set up some outdoor activities with him to just spend some quality time.\\nCamping is a great get-away. Set up a tent, start the fire, break out the s’mores. A night under the stars could be a great bonding experience.\\nExercise together in the mountains. Grab a mountain bike or just put on some running shoes before you hit the trails.\\nFishing is a great way to have a quiet moment together. Sitting near some serene water could provide a moment for you to both have a great discussion, and you might even catch some fish.\\nIf you live apart, make time to meet in a local cafe or one another's house to catch up over coffee or a meal. And if you live overseas, arrange for one of you to make the \\\"journey of a lifetime\\\" to catch up with each other in the foreign destination.\\n4-3. Find some entertainment together.\\nFind a way to laugh out loud or cheer with one another, a moment that just allows you to let loose in your brother’s company.\\n\\nJokes and tales can be a great way to reconnect without the usual hubbub of sibling life around you. A comedy club could be a great way to laugh until your sides hurt. Maybe you’d even like to try your hand at stand up comedy?\\nChoose a movie to watch together. Go to the fancy theater, a dollar theater, or rent. Whatever it is, even if it’s something on TV, find a movie in which you will both be able to immerse yourself.\\nGo to a concert. Dress up, sing all the songs, dance until your heart is content. Going to a concert might even improve your health.\\n4-4. Stand up for your brother or be there for special events in his life.\\nSometimes he might be in a situation where he needs your support and backing in a public way. Be sure to be there for him as a person who trusts and believes in him.\\n5. Displaying Love\\n5-1. Give your brother a big hug.\\nJust hug him and tell him that you love him and that you're proud of him. You don't need any excuse for this; any time is a good time.\\n5-2. Engage in the good things your brother does.\\nThis means setting aside the things you find annoying, bothersome, and unfair. Try to put aside your sense of competition and desire to outdo him. Simply list what things he does great and show you appreciate those activities.\\n5-3. Take care of him when he's sick.\\nBring him chicken noodle soup, take his temperature, or place a cool washcloth on his forehead. Be his doctor for a day.\\n5-4. Kiss your brother.\\nIt’s quite common in many cultures to give kisses for a variety of reasons. Sometimes a peck on the cheek will do, and others a kiss on the lips. Maybe even the top of the head or forehead. Wherever the kiss, it’s a simple sign showing you are willing to display emotion.\\n5-5. Give him a hand massage.\\nHands and the surrounding area carry a lot of tension, and it’s not so invasive as to be awkward. This is especially useful if your brother uses his hands for work all day.\\n5-6. Play with your brother.\\nWhether it’s rough-housing around, skipping together, playing tag, or a friendly game of punch-buggy, being physical with your brother is a different form of physical interaction he may enjoy. Breaking a sweat together is a great way to bond.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes it's easy to be hard on your brother or to take him for granted. Yet, for many people who have a brother, it can be a good thing to take stock of his good qualities, to recognize all the great things he does (including for you), and to give him a morale boost that shows him you really do care about him and that you're glad he's your brother.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Saying Something Nice\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give him a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes a kind word is enough of a boost to get someone over a difficult moment or a hard day. Here are a few simple suggestions to try out:\\n”You have great ideas! You’re always so creative.”\\n”I’m super lucky to have you as a brother. “\\n”You’re so fun to play with because you’re so athletic.”\\n”I really like your smile.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show your love.\", \"描述\": \"Three simple words: “I love you.” They carry an immense amount of weight, and mean so many different things to many different people. Saying you love your brother is an amazing display of emotion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to avoid the negative.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to be a nag, or tattle-tale, or nuisance. Brothers are no different from anyone else and can easily become riled if they think they're being told on, prattled at, or bothered constantly. Think about how annoying it could be if he were to be this way with you, and really try to remain positive.\\nAlways practice kindness when interacting with your brother! Being kind and speaking to them with respect shows that they should do the same for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Praise him.\", \"描述\": \"Never hold back praise for your brother. If you notice something great he has done, let him know (it's also a good way to get him to do it again).\\nIf he’s been putting in extra effort studying for a specific class, tell him how great his study habits are, and how well he’s going to do in the class.\\nEven during failure, praise can be used to reinforce resiliency. Try saying, “Great effort. You almost had it that last time.”\\nRemember to praise the effort and not the result. If you praise the final product or the success, he may associate the praise with success and forget about all the effort it took to accomplish the goal.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doing a Kind Deed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Back down from trivial and pointless arguments.\", \"描述\": \"There are bound to be arguments occasionally between siblings and they can strike at any age. Instead of continuing to engage in a fighting mood, know which battles are worth pursuing and which ones are best left alone. Try to compromise or even see his side of things for a change when you do feel completely unhappy about what's happening between the two of you. You might just shock him into seeing your point of view as well!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice kindness and respect.\", \"描述\": \"Go out of your way to do this even when it’s abnormal or unappreciated. At the very least it could help you two avoid potential argumentative or bossy situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean\", \"描述\": \"This could be a tough task, especially if he is a slob, but it’s something that could really make him happy. Try to put what he likes at the forefront, and what barely gets used into the recesses of the closet.\\nOrganize his movies or music alphabetically. Make it so he knows exactly where his favorites are located.\\nFold and organize his clothes. From time to time, clothes just get disorganized. Straighten up his closet and get all the similar items together.\\nVacuum and dust. Actual cleaning may take a little elbow grease, but it's a good bet if your brother doesn't really like people messing with his stuff.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do extra chores assigned to your brother.\", \"描述\": \"Doing your brother’s chores will give him extra time to do what he likes. Being selfless helps you to really reflect on how much you appreciate and love your brother, and it’s surely something he would appreciate. There may even be the added benefit of your parents noticing and rewarding you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Giving a Gift\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give him space.\", \"描述\": \"Providing nothing but time alone may not seem like much, but it could be exactly what he needs. Aim to give your brother the space he needs to get on with his life and expect him to do the same for you. While it's nice to spend a little time together, don't crowd him out all the time and try to insist he be your best pal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy him one of his favorite things.\", \"描述\": \"Unexpected gifts at unexpected times are a great way to make people happy. It doesn’t have to be huge, just make it enough to show you are thinking of him.\\nIf you’re on the way home, try picking up his favorite fast food treat. No one can resist their edible vice.\\nChecking out at the cash register? Grab a bit of candy he likes. There is a reason those candies are up there, and it’s because most people will make impulse purchases based on the things they like.\\nA simple card with a heart-felt note is a great way to get your feelings across. Try one that plays music for a good laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give him something of yours.\", \"描述\": \"Most people with brothers or sisters covet something their sibling has. If you have an item you don’t use any more, like an article of clothing, some jewelry, or a favorite electronic item, re-gifting is a great way to show you care.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make something for him.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t have to be extravagant or take a long time, but there are a bunch of ideas for easy-to-make items that show you spent time.\\nA homemade tic-tac-toe board is simple, and sets up a great time playing a game together. Six moving pieces comprised of X’s and O’s, and a board with four lines, there really isn’t much else to it.\\nCrochet or knit something simple. If you have particular skill with thread, a crochet project like making a granny square might be a nice item to make.\\nTry a paper plate clock! Useful, functional, fun, and perfect for your brother to hang up in his room or office. It’s especially useful if he’s always late.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spending Time With Your Brother\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be there for him during tough times.\", \"描述\": \"Life doesn't always go according to plan and there will be times when he needs you. Be there for him and be supportive when he experiences relationship, job, health, or other problems. In turn, he's more likely to be there for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go on a trip together.\", \"描述\": \"You can learn a lot about one another when you're away from your normal environs and you're doing something that requires you to support each other. Try to set up some outdoor activities with him to just spend some quality time.\\nCamping is a great get-away. Set up a tent, start the fire, break out the s’mores. A night under the stars could be a great bonding experience.\\nExercise together in the mountains. Grab a mountain bike or just put on some running shoes before you hit the trails.\\nFishing is a great way to have a quiet moment together. Sitting near some serene water could provide a moment for you to both have a great discussion, and you might even catch some fish.\\nIf you live apart, make time to meet in a local cafe or one another's house to catch up over coffee or a meal. And if you live overseas, arrange for one of you to make the \\\"journey of a lifetime\\\" to catch up with each other in the foreign destination.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find some entertainment together.\", \"描述\": \"Find a way to laugh out loud or cheer with one another, a moment that just allows you to let loose in your brother’s company.\\n\\nJokes and tales can be a great way to reconnect without the usual hubbub of sibling life around you. A comedy club could be a great way to laugh until your sides hurt. Maybe you’d even like to try your hand at stand up comedy?\\nChoose a movie to watch together. Go to the fancy theater, a dollar theater, or rent. Whatever it is, even if it’s something on TV, find a movie in which you will both be able to immerse yourself.\\nGo to a concert. Dress up, sing all the songs, dance until your heart is content. Going to a concert might even improve your health.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stand up for your brother or be there for special events in his life.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes he might be in a situation where he needs your support and backing in a public way. Be sure to be there for him as a person who trusts and believes in him.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Displaying Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your brother a big hug.\", \"描述\": \"Just hug him and tell him that you love him and that you're proud of him. You don't need any excuse for this; any time is a good time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Engage in the good things your brother does.\", \"描述\": \"This means setting aside the things you find annoying, bothersome, and unfair. Try to put aside your sense of competition and desire to outdo him. Simply list what things he does great and show you appreciate those activities.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take care of him when he's sick.\", \"描述\": \"Bring him chicken noodle soup, take his temperature, or place a cool washcloth on his forehead. Be his doctor for a day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Kiss your brother.\", \"描述\": \"It’s quite common in many cultures to give kisses for a variety of reasons. Sometimes a peck on the cheek will do, and others a kiss on the lips. Maybe even the top of the head or forehead. Wherever the kiss, it’s a simple sign showing you are willing to display emotion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give him a hand massage.\", \"描述\": \"Hands and the surrounding area carry a lot of tension, and it’s not so invasive as to be awkward. This is especially useful if your brother uses his hands for work all day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Play with your brother.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s rough-housing around, skipping together, playing tag, or a friendly game of punch-buggy, being physical with your brother is a different form of physical interaction he may enjoy. Breaking a sweat together is a great way to bond.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,984 | How to Get Along with Your Little Sister | 1. Becoming Friends with Your Sister
1-1. Talk with her often.
Show an interest in her life by talking with her whenever you see her. This behavior tells her that you care about her experiences and thoughts. For example, ask her about her day and quietly listen to her answer. For example:
"Hey, Jane! What did you think about the new Avengers movie?"
"Who are your best friends at school? What do you guys do together?"
"What do you like to do after school?"
1-2. Treat her with respect.
When you treat someone with respect, you show them that you’re interested in their good opinion. Additionally, if you’re respectful towards your little sister, she will eventually be respectful towards you as well. For example:
If she makes you angry, resist the urge to yell at her.
If she’s bothering you while you’re trying to do homework, nicely tell her that you’re busy.
Don’t use her things without permission, even if she uses yours.
1-3. Avoid getting angry over sibling rivalry.
Many older siblings struggle with jealousy towards their younger sisters. They often think that their younger sisters get more attention from their parents. Even if this is true, it’s not your little sister’s fault. She has no control over the behavior of your parents. Instead, talk to your parents about your feelings and offer solutions. For example:
Schedule some time to spend alone with your parents each week.
Ask your parents if you can stay up an hour later than your sister. This will give you one-on-one time with your parents.
Schedule family activities that will let you spend time with your parents and your sister together.
1-4. Congratulate your sister on her achievements.
When you congratulate your sister on something, you’re showing her that you admire her. She will enjoy knowing that you’re impressed by her, especially if she looks up to you. Someday she may even start congratulating you in return! Some examples of achievements include:
Graduating into a new grade
Doing well on a test
Successfully climbing a tall tree
Doing well at a dance recital
1-5. Put yourself in her shoes.
Many of us are frustrated by younger siblings, especially when they’re being mean or annoying. The first step to addressing this frustration is putting yourself in her shoes. The more you relate to her, the easier it is to be nice to her. For example:
Does she look up to you? Many younger sisters idolize their older siblings.
How old is she? Were you a lot like her when you were that age?
Think about the things that frustrate or anger her. Do they also frustrate you?
2. Resolving Fights and Arguments
2-1. Try to stay calm.
If you lose your cool, the fight will escalate out of control. First, take a deep breath and count to ten. If you can’t relax, leave and come back later. Once you’ve calmed down, being nice to your sister will help keep you composed. For example:
Speak calmly and respectfully even if you’re upset.
Resist the urge to hit or push your sister.
Listen to everything your sister says and think about her words.
2-2. Ask yourself if you should be upset with your sister or not.
Sometimes a situation will upset you but it won’t be your sister’s fault. For example, if you’re angry that your parents gave her one of your toys, you shouldn’t be mad at your sister. She has no control over the situation. Instead, talk to your parents.
Remember to stay calm when talking to your parents about your feelings.
2-3. Ask your sister why she’s upset.
If your sister is upset with you, you can avoid a fight by letting her explain her feelings. Many people get frustrated when they think no one cares about their feelings. Show her that you care by listening to her frustrations and acknowledging her anger. For example, you could say:
"I can see that you’re upset with me. Why is that?"
"I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Tell me why so I won’t do it again."
"Why are you upset? Is there anything I can do?"
2-4. Find a compromise.
Try to find a solution that will help you stop fighting. Keep in mind that you both may have to let go of something you want to come to an agreement. This can make you or your sister upset. If you’re both having trouble staying calm, you may need a parent to act as a mediator. Examples of compromises include:
Taking turns using your favorite toy
Sharing a piece of clothing that you both like to wear
Taking your sister along sometimes when you hang out with your friends
2-5. Apologize
If your sister is upset, apologize to her for upsetting her, even if you don’t feel like you did anything wrong. When apologizing, think about her feelings and the reasons that she’s angry. Use these reasons to help you create a good apology. For example:
"I’m sorry that I used your favorite hairbrush. I won’t do it again."
"I apologize for hurting your feelings. I really didn’t mean to."
"I’m sorry about eating the last cupcake. I didn’t think about whether or not you would want it."
3. Spending Time with Her
3-1. Ask her what she likes to do.
Talk to your little sister about fun activities that you can do together. Try to find something that you both want to do. If you can’t, compromise by doing one activity that she wants to do and one activity that you want to do. Ask her about her favorite activities by saying:
"What do you like to do for fun?"
"What fun things do you like to do at school?"
"Let’s play together! What do you want to do?"
3-2. Help her with her homework.
Since you’re older, you have a better understanding of schoolwork than your little sister. If she’s struggling with a math problem or has trouble spelling, offer to help her. Carefully explain the assignment and help her answer each question on her own.
There’s a difference between helping someone and doing their homework for them. If you give her all the answers, she won’t learn anything.
3-3. Do something quiet together.
A great way to hang out with your sister is to do quiet activities together. First, invite your little sister into your room to hang out or go into her room. Next, tell her that you want to do quiet things while you hang out. This can include:
Reading books
Playing video games
Drawing
Playing on your phone
3-4. Go somewhere fun together.
Many of us get bored with our regular schedules. Add some excitement to your hang-out time by going somewhere fun. However, make sure you have your parents’ permission to leave the house with your little sister. Examples of fun places to go include:
The park
A local fair or festival
A mutual friend’s house
3-5. Find other ways to show you care.
If you’re too busy to spend a lot of time with your sister, you can still show her that you care. For example, if you have a driver’s license, see if you can take her with you on a few errands. Other examples include:
Making her breakfast in the morning
Leaving a nice note in her lunch box
Taking her with you when you hang out with friends
Tips
Don't make fun of her.
If you can, try to get your little sister a present once in a while.
If she has a friend over that is a boy, don't tease her about him being her boyfriend.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Becoming Friends with Your Sister\\n1-1. Talk with her often.\\nShow an interest in her life by talking with her whenever you see her. This behavior tells her that you care about her experiences and thoughts. For example, ask her about her day and quietly listen to her answer. For example:\\n\\\"Hey, Jane! What did you think about the new Avengers movie?\\\"\\n\\\"Who are your best friends at school? What do you guys do together?\\\"\\n\\\"What do you like to do after school?\\\"\\n1-2. Treat her with respect.\\nWhen you treat someone with respect, you show them that you’re interested in their good opinion. Additionally, if you’re respectful towards your little sister, she will eventually be respectful towards you as well. For example:\\nIf she makes you angry, resist the urge to yell at her.\\nIf she’s bothering you while you’re trying to do homework, nicely tell her that you’re busy.\\nDon’t use her things without permission, even if she uses yours.\\n1-3. Avoid getting angry over sibling rivalry.\\nMany older siblings struggle with jealousy towards their younger sisters. They often think that their younger sisters get more attention from their parents. Even if this is true, it’s not your little sister’s fault. She has no control over the behavior of your parents. Instead, talk to your parents about your feelings and offer solutions. For example:\\nSchedule some time to spend alone with your parents each week.\\nAsk your parents if you can stay up an hour later than your sister. This will give you one-on-one time with your parents.\\nSchedule family activities that will let you spend time with your parents and your sister together.\\n1-4. Congratulate your sister on her achievements.\\nWhen you congratulate your sister on something, you’re showing her that you admire her. She will enjoy knowing that you’re impressed by her, especially if she looks up to you. Someday she may even start congratulating you in return! Some examples of achievements include:\\nGraduating into a new grade\\nDoing well on a test\\nSuccessfully climbing a tall tree\\nDoing well at a dance recital\\n1-5. Put yourself in her shoes.\\nMany of us are frustrated by younger siblings, especially when they’re being mean or annoying. The first step to addressing this frustration is putting yourself in her shoes. The more you relate to her, the easier it is to be nice to her. For example:\\nDoes she look up to you? Many younger sisters idolize their older siblings.\\nHow old is she? Were you a lot like her when you were that age?\\nThink about the things that frustrate or anger her. Do they also frustrate you?\\n2. Resolving Fights and Arguments\\n2-1. Try to stay calm.\\nIf you lose your cool, the fight will escalate out of control. First, take a deep breath and count to ten. If you can’t relax, leave and come back later. Once you’ve calmed down, being nice to your sister will help keep you composed. For example:\\nSpeak calmly and respectfully even if you’re upset.\\nResist the urge to hit or push your sister.\\nListen to everything your sister says and think about her words.\\n2-2. Ask yourself if you should be upset with your sister or not.\\nSometimes a situation will upset you but it won’t be your sister’s fault. For example, if you’re angry that your parents gave her one of your toys, you shouldn’t be mad at your sister. She has no control over the situation. Instead, talk to your parents.\\nRemember to stay calm when talking to your parents about your feelings.\\n2-3. Ask your sister why she’s upset.\\nIf your sister is upset with you, you can avoid a fight by letting her explain her feelings. Many people get frustrated when they think no one cares about their feelings. Show her that you care by listening to her frustrations and acknowledging her anger. For example, you could say:\\n\\\"I can see that you’re upset with me. Why is that?\\\"\\n\\\"I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Tell me why so I won’t do it again.\\\"\\n\\\"Why are you upset? Is there anything I can do?\\\"\\n2-4. Find a compromise.\\nTry to find a solution that will help you stop fighting. Keep in mind that you both may have to let go of something you want to come to an agreement. This can make you or your sister upset. If you’re both having trouble staying calm, you may need a parent to act as a mediator. Examples of compromises include:\\nTaking turns using your favorite toy\\nSharing a piece of clothing that you both like to wear\\nTaking your sister along sometimes when you hang out with your friends\\n2-5. Apologize\\nIf your sister is upset, apologize to her for upsetting her, even if you don’t feel like you did anything wrong. When apologizing, think about her feelings and the reasons that she’s angry. Use these reasons to help you create a good apology. For example:\\n\\\"I’m sorry that I used your favorite hairbrush. I won’t do it again.\\\"\\n\\\"I apologize for hurting your feelings. I really didn’t mean to.\\\"\\n\\\"I’m sorry about eating the last cupcake. I didn’t think about whether or not you would want it.\\\"\\n3. Spending Time with Her\\n3-1. Ask her what she likes to do.\\nTalk to your little sister about fun activities that you can do together. Try to find something that you both want to do. If you can’t, compromise by doing one activity that she wants to do and one activity that you want to do. Ask her about her favorite activities by saying:\\n\\\"What do you like to do for fun?\\\"\\n\\\"What fun things do you like to do at school?\\\"\\n\\\"Let’s play together! What do you want to do?\\\"\\n3-2. Help her with her homework.\\nSince you’re older, you have a better understanding of schoolwork than your little sister. If she’s struggling with a math problem or has trouble spelling, offer to help her. Carefully explain the assignment and help her answer each question on her own.\\nThere’s a difference between helping someone and doing their homework for them. If you give her all the answers, she won’t learn anything.\\n3-3. Do something quiet together.\\nA great way to hang out with your sister is to do quiet activities together. First, invite your little sister into your room to hang out or go into her room. Next, tell her that you want to do quiet things while you hang out. This can include:\\nReading books\\nPlaying video games\\nDrawing\\nPlaying on your phone\\n3-4. Go somewhere fun together.\\nMany of us get bored with our regular schedules. Add some excitement to your hang-out time by going somewhere fun. However, make sure you have your parents’ permission to leave the house with your little sister. Examples of fun places to go include:\\nThe park\\nA local fair or festival\\nA mutual friend’s house\\n3-5. Find other ways to show you care.\\nIf you’re too busy to spend a lot of time with your sister, you can still show her that you care. For example, if you have a driver’s license, see if you can take her with you on a few errands. Other examples include:\\nMaking her breakfast in the morning\\nLeaving a nice note in her lunch box\\nTaking her with you when you hang out with friends\\nTips\\nDon't make fun of her.\\nIf you can, try to get your little sister a present once in a while.\\nIf she has a friend over that is a boy, don't tease her about him being her boyfriend.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's not always easy, but it’s always worth it to be nice to your little sister. It may not seem like it now, but your relationship with her is one of the most important relationships in your life. Having a good relationship with your sibling will make both of you happier, and help you to be the best versions of yourselves. We'll give you some advice on how you can become closer with your little sister, how to resolve arguments, and some ideas for how you can spend quality time together.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming Friends with Your Sister\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk with her often.\", \"描述\": \"Show an interest in her life by talking with her whenever you see her. This behavior tells her that you care about her experiences and thoughts. For example, ask her about her day and quietly listen to her answer. For example:\\n\\\"Hey, Jane! What did you think about the new Avengers movie?\\\"\\n\\\"Who are your best friends at school? What do you guys do together?\\\"\\n\\\"What do you like to do after school?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treat her with respect.\", \"描述\": \"When you treat someone with respect, you show them that you’re interested in their good opinion. Additionally, if you’re respectful towards your little sister, she will eventually be respectful towards you as well. For example:\\nIf she makes you angry, resist the urge to yell at her.\\nIf she’s bothering you while you’re trying to do homework, nicely tell her that you’re busy.\\nDon’t use her things without permission, even if she uses yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid getting angry over sibling rivalry.\", \"描述\": \"Many older siblings struggle with jealousy towards their younger sisters. They often think that their younger sisters get more attention from their parents. Even if this is true, it’s not your little sister’s fault. She has no control over the behavior of your parents. Instead, talk to your parents about your feelings and offer solutions. For example:\\nSchedule some time to spend alone with your parents each week.\\nAsk your parents if you can stay up an hour later than your sister. This will give you one-on-one time with your parents.\\nSchedule family activities that will let you spend time with your parents and your sister together.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Congratulate your sister on her achievements.\", \"描述\": \"When you congratulate your sister on something, you’re showing her that you admire her. She will enjoy knowing that you’re impressed by her, especially if she looks up to you. Someday she may even start congratulating you in return! Some examples of achievements include:\\nGraduating into a new grade\\nDoing well on a test\\nSuccessfully climbing a tall tree\\nDoing well at a dance recital\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in her shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Many of us are frustrated by younger siblings, especially when they’re being mean or annoying. The first step to addressing this frustration is putting yourself in her shoes. The more you relate to her, the easier it is to be nice to her. For example:\\nDoes she look up to you? Many younger sisters idolize their older siblings.\\nHow old is she? Were you a lot like her when you were that age?\\nThink about the things that frustrate or anger her. Do they also frustrate you?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Resolving Fights and Arguments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"If you lose your cool, the fight will escalate out of control. First, take a deep breath and count to ten. If you can’t relax, leave and come back later. Once you’ve calmed down, being nice to your sister will help keep you composed. For example:\\nSpeak calmly and respectfully even if you’re upset.\\nResist the urge to hit or push your sister.\\nListen to everything your sister says and think about her words.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if you should be upset with your sister or not.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes a situation will upset you but it won’t be your sister’s fault. For example, if you’re angry that your parents gave her one of your toys, you shouldn’t be mad at your sister. She has no control over the situation. Instead, talk to your parents.\\nRemember to stay calm when talking to your parents about your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your sister why she’s upset.\", \"描述\": \"If your sister is upset with you, you can avoid a fight by letting her explain her feelings. Many people get frustrated when they think no one cares about their feelings. Show her that you care by listening to her frustrations and acknowledging her anger. For example, you could say:\\n\\\"I can see that you’re upset with me. Why is that?\\\"\\n\\\"I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Tell me why so I won’t do it again.\\\"\\n\\\"Why are you upset? Is there anything I can do?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a compromise.\", \"描述\": \"Try to find a solution that will help you stop fighting. Keep in mind that you both may have to let go of something you want to come to an agreement. This can make you or your sister upset. If you’re both having trouble staying calm, you may need a parent to act as a mediator. Examples of compromises include:\\nTaking turns using your favorite toy\\nSharing a piece of clothing that you both like to wear\\nTaking your sister along sometimes when you hang out with your friends\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apologize\", \"描述\": \"If your sister is upset, apologize to her for upsetting her, even if you don’t feel like you did anything wrong. When apologizing, think about her feelings and the reasons that she’s angry. Use these reasons to help you create a good apology. For example:\\n\\\"I’m sorry that I used your favorite hairbrush. I won’t do it again.\\\"\\n\\\"I apologize for hurting your feelings. I really didn’t mean to.\\\"\\n\\\"I’m sorry about eating the last cupcake. I didn’t think about whether or not you would want it.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spending Time with Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her what she likes to do.\", \"描述\": \"Talk to your little sister about fun activities that you can do together. Try to find something that you both want to do. If you can’t, compromise by doing one activity that she wants to do and one activity that you want to do. Ask her about her favorite activities by saying:\\n\\\"What do you like to do for fun?\\\"\\n\\\"What fun things do you like to do at school?\\\"\\n\\\"Let’s play together! What do you want to do?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help her with her homework.\", \"描述\": \"Since you’re older, you have a better understanding of schoolwork than your little sister. If she’s struggling with a math problem or has trouble spelling, offer to help her. Carefully explain the assignment and help her answer each question on her own.\\nThere’s a difference between helping someone and doing their homework for them. If you give her all the answers, she won’t learn anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something quiet together.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to hang out with your sister is to do quiet activities together. First, invite your little sister into your room to hang out or go into her room. Next, tell her that you want to do quiet things while you hang out. This can include:\\nReading books\\nPlaying video games\\nDrawing\\nPlaying on your phone\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go somewhere fun together.\", \"描述\": \"Many of us get bored with our regular schedules. Add some excitement to your hang-out time by going somewhere fun. However, make sure you have your parents’ permission to leave the house with your little sister. Examples of fun places to go include:\\nThe park\\nA local fair or festival\\nA mutual friend’s house\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find other ways to show you care.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re too busy to spend a lot of time with your sister, you can still show her that you care. For example, if you have a driver’s license, see if you can take her with you on a few errands. Other examples include:\\nMaking her breakfast in the morning\\nLeaving a nice note in her lunch box\\nTaking her with you when you hang out with friends\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't make fun of her.\\n\", \"If you can, try to get your little sister a present once in a while.\\n\", \"If she has a friend over that is a boy, don't tease her about him being her boyfriend.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,985 | How to Be Nice to Your Mean Sister | 1. Showing Kindness to Your Sister
1-1. Write her a thoughtful card.
Your sister may not know that you are looking to repair your relationship with her. Write her a card to tell her how much you love her and that you’re thankful she is your sister.
You can either make her a card or buy one in store.
You can also give her a card after she achieves a milestone. Maybe she got all A’s on her report card or got a new job. Let her know you’re proud of her accomplishments.
1-2. Buy her a gift.
Buying your sister a gift is a great way to show that you care. When buying her a gift, consider her likes and dislikes. If you know she has been eyeing a pair of earrings or a certain sweater, get that for her. Also, consider her favorite color in buying gifts as well.
You can also make her a gift. Handmade gifts can often be even more thoughtful than ones bought in stores. Check out Pinterest for cool DIY gifts.
Don’t buy her a gift to bribe her into being nice, but do so to let her know you’re thinking of her and love her.
1-3. Greet your sister with a smile.
A smile can go a very long way in both being nice and in encouraging niceness in others. Make an effort to smile each time you see your sister for the first time in a day and say ‘hello’ to her, even if she ignores you. If she feels that you are genuinely pleased to see her, her interactions with you could change.
You can try other gestures like leaning your head slightly to one side while she is talking to you as well to acknowledge that you are listening to her.
1-4. Share with your sister.
You may find that you fight with your sister because she takes your things without asking or always wants to use your things. However, show kindness to her by allowing her to borrow things if she requests them.
Exercise caution, however, if she has broken or damaged your items consistently in the past. You may only want to let her borrow things that you don’t put much value in if she is careless with your items.
If your older sibling takes something of yours, it makes it worse to tell your parents. Try to solve the problem without your parents. If you do this, you might end up getting closer to your sibling.
Also, if you have had problems in the past with your sister borrowing things without your permission, have a discussion with her about boundaries. You can say something like “I love you and don’t mind sharing with you, but when you take things without asking, it really bothers me. Can you ask me for permission in the future and I’ll make sure to do the same thing if I want to borrow something of yours?”
1-5. Invite her to spend time with your friends.
If your sister is younger or if she has fewer friends, she may feel upset if you hang out with your friends without inviting her. Though you certainly deserve your own time with your friends, it wouldn’t hurt to ask her to join you occasionally. Plus, you may find that you have more in common than you think.
Invite her to see a movie or go to the mall with you and your friends. She will likely appreciate the gesture.
1-6. Help her if she needs it.
All people, whether they are mean or nice, need help sometimes. If you see that she is overwhelmed with something, extend an arm to help her. A thoughtful gesture like this can be a great way to show her a kindness that she likely will not forget. Helping others can also make you feel good, as well.
Some ways that you can help her include assisting her with her homework if you know the material or helping her clean her room.
You can also ask for help from your sibling, but if she doesn't want to, respect her wishes.
1-7. Let her choose what you watch on TV.
Though this may seem small, many fights between siblings have erupted over the television, especially if a family only has one TV. Make an effort to allow her to pick what you watch more often or find new shows to watch together that you both enjoy.
Compromise, as well. If you chose the show for the last 30 minutes, allow her to pick the next show or two.
1-8. Take her out to eat or to a movie.
Food is a great way to bond and your sister will likely be very appreciative if you take her out for a meal. If you are younger or unable to take her to dinner, you can cook her something instead or make her a small snack. Watching a movie together of her choice is also a great way to show her kindness.
1-9. Treat her how you want to be treated.
The ultimate display of kindness will occur when you show your sister the same level of love and affection that you desire to be shown. If you wish that she hugged you more, hug her instead. If you wish that she talked to you more, talk to her instead. Model the behavior that you desire to see.
1-10. Compliment her.
Most people enjoy being complimented and often times that kindness will linger with them even after the moment is over. Think about the attributes that your sister has that are special and make it a point to let her know.
For example, is your sister very smart or quick witted? Let her know that you think so.
You can also compliment her by telling her that she is pretty.
But be careful. If you say something untrue to your sister about her looks, she might dress or do the thing you told her she was good at more. You don't want to give her false information.
2. Bonding with Your Sister
2-1. Go for a walk.
Getting outdoors can be a great way to clear the air and recenter your and your sister’s relationship. Invite her to walk with you around the block or at a local park. This can also provide a great opportunity for you to talk to each other and develop your bond.
2-2. Establish trust.
If your sister has been unkind to you, the trust between you may likely be broken. Work on building the trust in your relationship.
One way you can build trust is through sharing secrets with each other. Tell each other one thing that the other doesn’t know and make a pact to keep the secret.
Another way to build trust is through honesty. Be honest with your sister about the ways you feel hurt by her and ask her to be honest as well. Being nice to your sister does not mean that you should lie to her.
Keep your promises. If you tell your sister that you will do something for her, then do it. Your sister will trust you more if you are dependable and reliable.
2-3. Talk to her.
Bonds are often developed through communication. Sit down and have a discussion with your sister about her day, school, work, her friends or any topic that you are interesting in knowing more about in relation to her. People often enjoy talking about themselves and will often open up if asked questions. This will indicate to your sister that you have an interest in her life and will bring you closer together.
You can begin a conversation with your sister by saying something like “how was your day?”; depending upon her answer the conversation may spark from there, but if it doesn’t you can try saying something like “what was the best part about your day?”
Consider all of the things you have in common and begin a conversation based around those. If you and your sister both love soccer, consider discussing the latest soccer game or your favorite soccer player with her.
2-4. Try something new together.
One great way to bond with your sister is to do something the two of you have never done before. Conquering your fears together or exploring a new hobby is a great way to deepen your bond and give you new memories to share and reflect on.
You can try something as exciting as riding a rollercoaster for the first time or something as small as binge watching a new show together. Either way, your relationship will grow.
Other ways include cooking, exercising, taking a class together, or going dancing.
2-5. Play games together.
Take some time to sit down with your sister to have fun. You can play a board game with her like monopoly or checkers, charades, or cards. Games are often very fun, which is important because laughter can go a long way in repairing bonds.
2-6. Reflect on good memories.
You and your sister have undoubtedly shared some memories together, despite the times when he has been mean. Thinking about those good times will make it easier for you to be nice to her.
Pull out those old photo albums and reflect visually on these memories. You can also pull up photos on your social media accounts.
3. Developing Mutual Forgiveness and Understanding
3-1. Consider when her meanness began.
Your sister could be upset about something you have done to her in the past that perhaps you have not considered. If your sister was previously sweet to you and then she changed abruptly, think about ways that you may have offended or hurt her.
Apologize for any wrongdoing on your part. After self reflection and an honest evaluation of your relationships, you may discover that you have done some bad in your relationship with your sister, as well. Apologize to her genuinely for any specific things that you may have done.
3-2. Communicate with your sister for clarity.
If after significant thought about your relationship you find it difficult to identify a time that you have hurt your sister, talk to her. You may have done something to her that, while insignificant or forgettable to you, has caused her pain.
Try using a talking stick. In some cultures, particularly within certain Native American tribes, the use of a talking stick is employed to have a constructive conversation. The general premise is that you have an item that is held when speaking and only the person holding that item can speak. Once the speaker is finished, the item is transferred and that person speaks uninterrupted while they hold the item. This is a great way to foster communication that is mutually respectful and based around purely listening.
Use “I” statements. If your sister has hurt you, don’t resort to name calling or being accusatory. Instead of saying things like “you are mean” say “I feel hurt by what you said”. This is a way of communicating your feelings of hurt or anger while being less threatening.
3-3. Practice self reflection.
Though it can be difficult to admit, sometimes we find that the problems that we see so clearly in others are also within ourselves. Be mindful of your interactions with you sister and consider your facial expressions, tone, and the things you say or don’t say. You may find that you have been mean to your sister as well and that small tweaks in your behavior can drastically improve your relationship.
Do you frown when your sister is speaking? Practice slightly smiling instead.
Perhaps you raise your voice a bit to speak to her. Practice using a calmer tone instead.
3-4. Talk to your parents.
Your parents are the people who probably have the greatest insight into your relationship with your sister. They are likely able to provide you with advice specific to the issues in your relationship as well as information on how to correct it.
Your parents have also certainly dealt with conflict resolution before and likely with their own siblings. See what they have done to repair or remedy their own relationships with brothers or sisters.
3-5. Talk to your friends who have siblings.
If you have a friend with a sibling, talk to them about what they do to manage their relationship when it gets stressful or about nice things they do for their own siblings.
If you and your sister have mutual friends, speak to them. Similar to your parents, they have a knowledge of both of you. See if they have advice on how to improve your relationship with your sister.
3-6. Write out your feelings.
Sometimes, talking or thinking about something is not enough to provide full clarity. Take some time to journal or jot down your thoughts about your sister, good and bad, as well as your thoughts about the relationship. This can often provide you with the clarity that you need to understand how to move forward.
3-7. Take ten.
When your sister is being mean to you, take a moment to calm yourself. Step away from the situation and count to ten to allow yourself to deescalate. Don’t allow yourself to get worked up or to say something mean or untrue out of anger.
3-8. Don’t judge your sister.
Even after all of this kindness, your sister may be still be mean to you. Continue to love her anyway. Don’t judge her for the worst things she has done just as you don’t want to be judged similarly. Instead, practice forgiveness daily.
Tips
Give her time! Being nice for one day will not ensure that she will be nice to you immediately.
Warnings
Get Your Older Sister to Be Nice to You
Deal With Big Sisters
Be Nice to Your Little Sister
If the situation turns physical and you sister hits you, step away immediately and get help. Tell your parents or another adult so they can intervene. You should never be hit under any circumstances.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Showing Kindness to Your Sister\\n1-1. Write her a thoughtful card.\\nYour sister may not know that you are looking to repair your relationship with her. Write her a card to tell her how much you love her and that you’re thankful she is your sister.\\nYou can either make her a card or buy one in store.\\nYou can also give her a card after she achieves a milestone. Maybe she got all A’s on her report card or got a new job. Let her know you’re proud of her accomplishments.\\n1-2. Buy her a gift.\\nBuying your sister a gift is a great way to show that you care. When buying her a gift, consider her likes and dislikes. If you know she has been eyeing a pair of earrings or a certain sweater, get that for her. Also, consider her favorite color in buying gifts as well.\\nYou can also make her a gift. Handmade gifts can often be even more thoughtful than ones bought in stores. Check out Pinterest for cool DIY gifts.\\nDon’t buy her a gift to bribe her into being nice, but do so to let her know you’re thinking of her and love her.\\n1-3. Greet your sister with a smile.\\nA smile can go a very long way in both being nice and in encouraging niceness in others. Make an effort to smile each time you see your sister for the first time in a day and say ‘hello’ to her, even if she ignores you. If she feels that you are genuinely pleased to see her, her interactions with you could change.\\nYou can try other gestures like leaning your head slightly to one side while she is talking to you as well to acknowledge that you are listening to her.\\n1-4. Share with your sister.\\nYou may find that you fight with your sister because she takes your things without asking or always wants to use your things. However, show kindness to her by allowing her to borrow things if she requests them.\\nExercise caution, however, if she has broken or damaged your items consistently in the past. You may only want to let her borrow things that you don’t put much value in if she is careless with your items.\\nIf your older sibling takes something of yours, it makes it worse to tell your parents. Try to solve the problem without your parents. If you do this, you might end up getting closer to your sibling.\\nAlso, if you have had problems in the past with your sister borrowing things without your permission, have a discussion with her about boundaries. You can say something like “I love you and don’t mind sharing with you, but when you take things without asking, it really bothers me. Can you ask me for permission in the future and I’ll make sure to do the same thing if I want to borrow something of yours?”\\n1-5. Invite her to spend time with your friends.\\nIf your sister is younger or if she has fewer friends, she may feel upset if you hang out with your friends without inviting her. Though you certainly deserve your own time with your friends, it wouldn’t hurt to ask her to join you occasionally. Plus, you may find that you have more in common than you think.\\nInvite her to see a movie or go to the mall with you and your friends. She will likely appreciate the gesture.\\n1-6. Help her if she needs it.\\nAll people, whether they are mean or nice, need help sometimes. If you see that she is overwhelmed with something, extend an arm to help her. A thoughtful gesture like this can be a great way to show her a kindness that she likely will not forget. Helping others can also make you feel good, as well.\\nSome ways that you can help her include assisting her with her homework if you know the material or helping her clean her room.\\nYou can also ask for help from your sibling, but if she doesn't want to, respect her wishes.\\n1-7. Let her choose what you watch on TV.\\nThough this may seem small, many fights between siblings have erupted over the television, especially if a family only has one TV. Make an effort to allow her to pick what you watch more often or find new shows to watch together that you both enjoy.\\nCompromise, as well. If you chose the show for the last 30 minutes, allow her to pick the next show or two.\\n1-8. Take her out to eat or to a movie.\\nFood is a great way to bond and your sister will likely be very appreciative if you take her out for a meal. If you are younger or unable to take her to dinner, you can cook her something instead or make her a small snack. Watching a movie together of her choice is also a great way to show her kindness.\\n1-9. Treat her how you want to be treated.\\nThe ultimate display of kindness will occur when you show your sister the same level of love and affection that you desire to be shown. If you wish that she hugged you more, hug her instead. If you wish that she talked to you more, talk to her instead. Model the behavior that you desire to see.\\n1-10. Compliment her.\\nMost people enjoy being complimented and often times that kindness will linger with them even after the moment is over. Think about the attributes that your sister has that are special and make it a point to let her know.\\nFor example, is your sister very smart or quick witted? Let her know that you think so.\\nYou can also compliment her by telling her that she is pretty.\\nBut be careful. If you say something untrue to your sister about her looks, she might dress or do the thing you told her she was good at more. You don't want to give her false information.\\n2. Bonding with Your Sister\\n2-1. Go for a walk.\\nGetting outdoors can be a great way to clear the air and recenter your and your sister’s relationship. Invite her to walk with you around the block or at a local park. This can also provide a great opportunity for you to talk to each other and develop your bond.\\n2-2. Establish trust.\\nIf your sister has been unkind to you, the trust between you may likely be broken. Work on building the trust in your relationship.\\nOne way you can build trust is through sharing secrets with each other. Tell each other one thing that the other doesn’t know and make a pact to keep the secret.\\nAnother way to build trust is through honesty. Be honest with your sister about the ways you feel hurt by her and ask her to be honest as well. Being nice to your sister does not mean that you should lie to her.\\nKeep your promises. If you tell your sister that you will do something for her, then do it. Your sister will trust you more if you are dependable and reliable.\\n2-3. Talk to her.\\nBonds are often developed through communication. Sit down and have a discussion with your sister about her day, school, work, her friends or any topic that you are interesting in knowing more about in relation to her. People often enjoy talking about themselves and will often open up if asked questions. This will indicate to your sister that you have an interest in her life and will bring you closer together.\\nYou can begin a conversation with your sister by saying something like “how was your day?”; depending upon her answer the conversation may spark from there, but if it doesn’t you can try saying something like “what was the best part about your day?”\\nConsider all of the things you have in common and begin a conversation based around those. If you and your sister both love soccer, consider discussing the latest soccer game or your favorite soccer player with her.\\n2-4. Try something new together.\\nOne great way to bond with your sister is to do something the two of you have never done before. Conquering your fears together or exploring a new hobby is a great way to deepen your bond and give you new memories to share and reflect on.\\nYou can try something as exciting as riding a rollercoaster for the first time or something as small as binge watching a new show together. Either way, your relationship will grow.\\nOther ways include cooking, exercising, taking a class together, or going dancing.\\n2-5. Play games together.\\nTake some time to sit down with your sister to have fun. You can play a board game with her like monopoly or checkers, charades, or cards. Games are often very fun, which is important because laughter can go a long way in repairing bonds.\\n2-6. Reflect on good memories.\\nYou and your sister have undoubtedly shared some memories together, despite the times when he has been mean. Thinking about those good times will make it easier for you to be nice to her.\\nPull out those old photo albums and reflect visually on these memories. You can also pull up photos on your social media accounts.\\n3. Developing Mutual Forgiveness and Understanding\\n3-1. Consider when her meanness began.\\nYour sister could be upset about something you have done to her in the past that perhaps you have not considered. If your sister was previously sweet to you and then she changed abruptly, think about ways that you may have offended or hurt her.\\nApologize for any wrongdoing on your part. After self reflection and an honest evaluation of your relationships, you may discover that you have done some bad in your relationship with your sister, as well. Apologize to her genuinely for any specific things that you may have done.\\n3-2. Communicate with your sister for clarity.\\nIf after significant thought about your relationship you find it difficult to identify a time that you have hurt your sister, talk to her. You may have done something to her that, while insignificant or forgettable to you, has caused her pain.\\nTry using a talking stick. In some cultures, particularly within certain Native American tribes, the use of a talking stick is employed to have a constructive conversation. The general premise is that you have an item that is held when speaking and only the person holding that item can speak. Once the speaker is finished, the item is transferred and that person speaks uninterrupted while they hold the item. This is a great way to foster communication that is mutually respectful and based around purely listening.\\nUse “I” statements. If your sister has hurt you, don’t resort to name calling or being accusatory. Instead of saying things like “you are mean” say “I feel hurt by what you said”. This is a way of communicating your feelings of hurt or anger while being less threatening.\\n3-3. Practice self reflection.\\nThough it can be difficult to admit, sometimes we find that the problems that we see so clearly in others are also within ourselves. Be mindful of your interactions with you sister and consider your facial expressions, tone, and the things you say or don’t say. You may find that you have been mean to your sister as well and that small tweaks in your behavior can drastically improve your relationship.\\nDo you frown when your sister is speaking? Practice slightly smiling instead.\\nPerhaps you raise your voice a bit to speak to her. Practice using a calmer tone instead.\\n3-4. Talk to your parents.\\nYour parents are the people who probably have the greatest insight into your relationship with your sister. They are likely able to provide you with advice specific to the issues in your relationship as well as information on how to correct it.\\nYour parents have also certainly dealt with conflict resolution before and likely with their own siblings. See what they have done to repair or remedy their own relationships with brothers or sisters.\\n3-5. Talk to your friends who have siblings.\\nIf you have a friend with a sibling, talk to them about what they do to manage their relationship when it gets stressful or about nice things they do for their own siblings.\\nIf you and your sister have mutual friends, speak to them. Similar to your parents, they have a knowledge of both of you. See if they have advice on how to improve your relationship with your sister.\\n3-6. Write out your feelings.\\nSometimes, talking or thinking about something is not enough to provide full clarity. Take some time to journal or jot down your thoughts about your sister, good and bad, as well as your thoughts about the relationship. This can often provide you with the clarity that you need to understand how to move forward.\\n3-7. Take ten.\\nWhen your sister is being mean to you, take a moment to calm yourself. Step away from the situation and count to ten to allow yourself to deescalate. Don’t allow yourself to get worked up or to say something mean or untrue out of anger.\\n3-8. Don’t judge your sister.\\nEven after all of this kindness, your sister may be still be mean to you. Continue to love her anyway. Don’t judge her for the worst things she has done just as you don’t want to be judged similarly. Instead, practice forgiveness daily.\\nTips\\nGive her time! Being nice for one day will not ensure that she will be nice to you immediately.\\nWarnings\\nGet Your Older Sister to Be Nice to You\\nDeal With Big Sisters\\nBe Nice to Your Little Sister\\nIf the situation turns physical and you sister hits you, step away immediately and get help. Tell your parents or another adult so they can intervene. You should never be hit under any circumstances.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you fight with your siblings? Here are some tips Sometimes we fight with the people closest to us and sisters are no exception. It can be hard to be kind and caring if your sister is constantly teasing and being mean to you. However, by bonding with and showing kindness to your sister, you can effect change in your interactions and relationship and show kindness to her.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing Kindness to Your Sister\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write her a thoughtful card.\", \"描述\": \"Your sister may not know that you are looking to repair your relationship with her. Write her a card to tell her how much you love her and that you’re thankful she is your sister.\\nYou can either make her a card or buy one in store.\\nYou can also give her a card after she achieves a milestone. Maybe she got all A’s on her report card or got a new job. Let her know you’re proud of her accomplishments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy her a gift.\", \"描述\": \"Buying your sister a gift is a great way to show that you care. When buying her a gift, consider her likes and dislikes. If you know she has been eyeing a pair of earrings or a certain sweater, get that for her. Also, consider her favorite color in buying gifts as well.\\nYou can also make her a gift. Handmade gifts can often be even more thoughtful than ones bought in stores. Check out Pinterest for cool DIY gifts.\\nDon’t buy her a gift to bribe her into being nice, but do so to let her know you’re thinking of her and love her.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Greet your sister with a smile.\", \"描述\": \"A smile can go a very long way in both being nice and in encouraging niceness in others. Make an effort to smile each time you see your sister for the first time in a day and say ‘hello’ to her, even if she ignores you. If she feels that you are genuinely pleased to see her, her interactions with you could change.\\nYou can try other gestures like leaning your head slightly to one side while she is talking to you as well to acknowledge that you are listening to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share with your sister.\", \"描述\": \"You may find that you fight with your sister because she takes your things without asking or always wants to use your things. However, show kindness to her by allowing her to borrow things if she requests them.\\nExercise caution, however, if she has broken or damaged your items consistently in the past. You may only want to let her borrow things that you don’t put much value in if she is careless with your items.\\nIf your older sibling takes something of yours, it makes it worse to tell your parents. Try to solve the problem without your parents. If you do this, you might end up getting closer to your sibling.\\nAlso, if you have had problems in the past with your sister borrowing things without your permission, have a discussion with her about boundaries. You can say something like “I love you and don’t mind sharing with you, but when you take things without asking, it really bothers me. Can you ask me for permission in the future and I’ll make sure to do the same thing if I want to borrow something of yours?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Invite her to spend time with your friends.\", \"描述\": \"If your sister is younger or if she has fewer friends, she may feel upset if you hang out with your friends without inviting her. Though you certainly deserve your own time with your friends, it wouldn’t hurt to ask her to join you occasionally. Plus, you may find that you have more in common than you think.\\nInvite her to see a movie or go to the mall with you and your friends. She will likely appreciate the gesture.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Help her if she needs it.\", \"描述\": \"All people, whether they are mean or nice, need help sometimes. If you see that she is overwhelmed with something, extend an arm to help her. A thoughtful gesture like this can be a great way to show her a kindness that she likely will not forget. Helping others can also make you feel good, as well.\\nSome ways that you can help her include assisting her with her homework if you know the material or helping her clean her room.\\nYou can also ask for help from your sibling, but if she doesn't want to, respect her wishes.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let her choose what you watch on TV.\", \"描述\": \"Though this may seem small, many fights between siblings have erupted over the television, especially if a family only has one TV. Make an effort to allow her to pick what you watch more often or find new shows to watch together that you both enjoy.\\nCompromise, as well. If you chose the show for the last 30 minutes, allow her to pick the next show or two.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take her out to eat or to a movie.\", \"描述\": \"Food is a great way to bond and your sister will likely be very appreciative if you take her out for a meal. If you are younger or unable to take her to dinner, you can cook her something instead or make her a small snack. Watching a movie together of her choice is also a great way to show her kindness.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Treat her how you want to be treated.\", \"描述\": \"The ultimate display of kindness will occur when you show your sister the same level of love and affection that you desire to be shown. If you wish that she hugged you more, hug her instead. If you wish that she talked to you more, talk to her instead. Model the behavior that you desire to see.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"Most people enjoy being complimented and often times that kindness will linger with them even after the moment is over. Think about the attributes that your sister has that are special and make it a point to let her know.\\nFor example, is your sister very smart or quick witted? Let her know that you think so.\\nYou can also compliment her by telling her that she is pretty.\\nBut be careful. If you say something untrue to your sister about her looks, she might dress or do the thing you told her she was good at more. You don't want to give her false information.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bonding with Your Sister\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go for a walk.\", \"描述\": \"Getting outdoors can be a great way to clear the air and recenter your and your sister’s relationship. Invite her to walk with you around the block or at a local park. This can also provide a great opportunity for you to talk to each other and develop your bond.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Establish trust.\", \"描述\": \"If your sister has been unkind to you, the trust between you may likely be broken. Work on building the trust in your relationship.\\nOne way you can build trust is through sharing secrets with each other. Tell each other one thing that the other doesn’t know and make a pact to keep the secret.\\nAnother way to build trust is through honesty. Be honest with your sister about the ways you feel hurt by her and ask her to be honest as well. Being nice to your sister does not mean that you should lie to her.\\nKeep your promises. If you tell your sister that you will do something for her, then do it. Your sister will trust you more if you are dependable and reliable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to her.\", \"描述\": \"Bonds are often developed through communication. Sit down and have a discussion with your sister about her day, school, work, her friends or any topic that you are interesting in knowing more about in relation to her. People often enjoy talking about themselves and will often open up if asked questions. This will indicate to your sister that you have an interest in her life and will bring you closer together.\\nYou can begin a conversation with your sister by saying something like “how was your day?”; depending upon her answer the conversation may spark from there, but if it doesn’t you can try saying something like “what was the best part about your day?”\\nConsider all of the things you have in common and begin a conversation based around those. If you and your sister both love soccer, consider discussing the latest soccer game or your favorite soccer player with her.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try something new together.\", \"描述\": \"One great way to bond with your sister is to do something the two of you have never done before. Conquering your fears together or exploring a new hobby is a great way to deepen your bond and give you new memories to share and reflect on.\\nYou can try something as exciting as riding a rollercoaster for the first time or something as small as binge watching a new show together. Either way, your relationship will grow.\\nOther ways include cooking, exercising, taking a class together, or going dancing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play games together.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time to sit down with your sister to have fun. You can play a board game with her like monopoly or checkers, charades, or cards. Games are often very fun, which is important because laughter can go a long way in repairing bonds.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reflect on good memories.\", \"描述\": \"You and your sister have undoubtedly shared some memories together, despite the times when he has been mean. Thinking about those good times will make it easier for you to be nice to her.\\nPull out those old photo albums and reflect visually on these memories. You can also pull up photos on your social media accounts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Developing Mutual Forgiveness and Understanding\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider when her meanness began.\", \"描述\": \"Your sister could be upset about something you have done to her in the past that perhaps you have not considered. If your sister was previously sweet to you and then she changed abruptly, think about ways that you may have offended or hurt her.\\nApologize for any wrongdoing on your part. After self reflection and an honest evaluation of your relationships, you may discover that you have done some bad in your relationship with your sister, as well. Apologize to her genuinely for any specific things that you may have done.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicate with your sister for clarity.\", \"描述\": \"If after significant thought about your relationship you find it difficult to identify a time that you have hurt your sister, talk to her. You may have done something to her that, while insignificant or forgettable to you, has caused her pain.\\nTry using a talking stick. In some cultures, particularly within certain Native American tribes, the use of a talking stick is employed to have a constructive conversation. The general premise is that you have an item that is held when speaking and only the person holding that item can speak. Once the speaker is finished, the item is transferred and that person speaks uninterrupted while they hold the item. This is a great way to foster communication that is mutually respectful and based around purely listening.\\nUse “I” statements. If your sister has hurt you, don’t resort to name calling or being accusatory. Instead of saying things like “you are mean” say “I feel hurt by what you said”. This is a way of communicating your feelings of hurt or anger while being less threatening.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice self reflection.\", \"描述\": \"Though it can be difficult to admit, sometimes we find that the problems that we see so clearly in others are also within ourselves. Be mindful of your interactions with you sister and consider your facial expressions, tone, and the things you say or don’t say. You may find that you have been mean to your sister as well and that small tweaks in your behavior can drastically improve your relationship.\\nDo you frown when your sister is speaking? Practice slightly smiling instead.\\nPerhaps you raise your voice a bit to speak to her. Practice using a calmer tone instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to your parents.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents are the people who probably have the greatest insight into your relationship with your sister. They are likely able to provide you with advice specific to the issues in your relationship as well as information on how to correct it.\\nYour parents have also certainly dealt with conflict resolution before and likely with their own siblings. See what they have done to repair or remedy their own relationships with brothers or sisters.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk to your friends who have siblings.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a friend with a sibling, talk to them about what they do to manage their relationship when it gets stressful or about nice things they do for their own siblings.\\nIf you and your sister have mutual friends, speak to them. Similar to your parents, they have a knowledge of both of you. See if they have advice on how to improve your relationship with your sister.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write out your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, talking or thinking about something is not enough to provide full clarity. Take some time to journal or jot down your thoughts about your sister, good and bad, as well as your thoughts about the relationship. This can often provide you with the clarity that you need to understand how to move forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take ten.\", \"描述\": \"When your sister is being mean to you, take a moment to calm yourself. Step away from the situation and count to ten to allow yourself to deescalate. Don’t allow yourself to get worked up or to say something mean or untrue out of anger.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t judge your sister.\", \"描述\": \"Even after all of this kindness, your sister may be still be mean to you. Continue to love her anyway. Don’t judge her for the worst things she has done just as you don’t want to be judged similarly. Instead, practice forgiveness daily.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Give her time! Being nice for one day will not ensure that she will be nice to you immediately.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Get Your Older Sister to Be Nice to You\\n\", \"Deal With Big Sisters\\n\", \"Be Nice to Your Little Sister\\n\", \"If the situation turns physical and you sister hits you, step away immediately and get help. Tell your parents or another adult so they can intervene. You should never be hit under any circumstances.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,986 | How to Be Nice to Your Pets | 1. Bonding with Your Pet
1-1. Play with your pet every day.
To give your pet the physical and mental exercise it needs, do your best to play together every day. If you have a dog, play games like fetch and hide and seek. If you have a cat, play with feathers, streamers, string, and toy mice.
Daily playtime is especially important if you have a cat or dog. However, other animals need playtime, too. For instance, rabbits need some time out of their cage to exercise.
Make sure a room is safe before letting a rabbit, rodent, or other small pet out of its cage. To keep it safe, set up a pen so it can’t escape.
1-2. Scratch and rub your pet where it likes to be touched.
As long as you handle your pet properly, physical contact is a great way to build your bond. Animals have different favorite spots, so learn where your pet likes to be rubbed or scratched. For example, if you have a dog, try scratching its ears and rubbing its belly to show it how much you care.
If you have a cat, let it rub its face against your hand, scratch its head, and stroke it from its nose to its tail. Cats usually don't like having their belly or tail touched.
While people show affection by hugging, most cats and dogs don’t like to be hugged. For rabbits, rodents, and other small furry friends, be sure to use a gentle touch. Note that rabbits get stressed out when they’re over-handled.
1-3. Give your pet plenty of praise.
Use a happy tone of voice and tell your pet how much you love it. When it obeys a command or behaves well, heap on the praise to let it know it’s doing a good job.
Both cats and dogs can recognize words and tell the difference between happy and angry tones. Additionally, from rabbits to horses, lots of other animals can identify happy tones and words.
If you have a reptile, it may not hear or understand verbal praise, but you can still gently stroke its head or offer tasty treats to show your affection. Just be careful if you have a snake or other reptile that might bite.
1-4. Talk to your pet with a soothing voice daily.
Just as praise strengthens your bond, using a calm, soothing voice can help your pet become more comfortable with your presence. When you get home, try greeting your pet by saying something like, “There's my little puppy dog,” or, “Who's the best kitty in the whole world” in a gentle, comforting tone of voice.
When you're hanging out with your little bud, try scratching its favorite spots to be pet and softly tell it how much you love it. That'll make it feel super safe and cozy!
1-5. Reward your pet with healthy treats.
Feeding a cat or dog by hand is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond. Offering treats when your pet obeys a command can also help you encourage it to behave.
Treats can also help you bond with lots of other types of pets, such as rabbits and parrots.
Keep in mind too many treats can put your pet’s health at risk. As a rule of thumb, treats should account for less than 10% of your pet’s diet. Small slices of carrot or apple are healthy options for dogs. Catnip is the perfect way to reward your cat without adding extra calories to its diet.
2. Showing Your Pet Respect
2-1. Give your pet space if it doesn’t want to be touched.
Get to know how your pet communicates, and respect its boundaries if it wants to be left alone. Different types of animals communicate in unique ways, so do a little research on how your pet expresses itself. For instance, a dog is happy when it wags its tail, but a cat that's wagging its tail is agitated.
Other signs of agitation in cats include a hunched back, fur standing on end, ears pinned back, hissing, and growling.
For dogs, signs of stress include pinned back ears, a rigid body, wide eyes, yawning, growling, and excessive barking.
2-2. Keep its environment as stress-free as possible.
Do your best to keep things calm and predictable. Stick to a regular schedule, avoid frequently rearranging furniture, and never taunt your pet. Animals love routines; unpredictability and lots of commotion are upsetting for pets.
Additionally, if you have multiple pets, keep them separate if they don’t along. If you have a small animal, like a rabbit, make sure your cat or dog can’t go near it.
2-3. Avoid sneaking up on or startling your pet.
Try not to touch or approach your pet from the back. If you do, say something like “Hi pup!” or “Here kitty!” to announce your presence. Never intentionally try to scare or sneak up on your pet.
Startling a pet stresses it out, and a cat or dog could scratch or bite you. Some pets, such as rabbits, may experience serious health issues if they’re startled.
2-4. Make sure everyone in your family knows how to respect animals.
Whether you’re a parent or child, discuss the right ways to treat your pet with the rest of your family. If you have younger siblings, make sure they know how to respect your pet’s space and aren’t rough with it.
If you’re a parent, talk to your kids about treating animals with respect from a young age. To prevent accidents, always supervise your younger children when they interact with pets.
3. Keeping Your Pet Healthy
3-1. Take your pet to the vet regularly.
Annual check-ups are recommended for most pets. If your pet is older or has a long-term illness, it’ll need to see the vet more often. If you have a cat or a dog, be sure it receives all vaccinations required by your local laws.
You should also regularly give your cat or dog medication to prevent fleas and ticks.
3-2. Feed it a balanced diet to help it maintain a healthy weight.
Obesity dramatically increases your pet’s risk of injury and illness, so keep its diet in check. Buy commercial pet food labeled for your animal's age and species, measure the amount of food you offer, and give your pal treats in moderation.
Check the pet food label or talk to the vet about the right amount of food to give your pet each day.
3-3. Make sure your pet gets plenty of exercise every day.
Exercise can also help keep your pet’s weight in check, so play with it and provide enriching toys to keep it active. If you have a dog, be sure to take it on daily brisk walks.
The right amount of exercise depends on your pet's age and species. For instance, a lap dog needs less exercise than a working breed, and a puppy or senior dog can't run around as much as a healthy adult dog.
3-4. Protect it from extreme temperatures and other hazards.
If your cat or dog spends a lot of time outside, make sure it has access to a shelter with a roof. Avoid keeping your pet outside in hot weather or if the temperature is below freezing.
If you keep your pet in a cage or tank, make sure the conditions meet its specific needs. For instance, if you own a reptile, maintain the temperature and humidity levels recommended for its species.
3-5. Keep your pet clean and well-groomed.
Brush your furry friend at least a few times a week; pets with long coats need daily brushing. If you have a dog, wash it every 2 to 4 weeks or if it gets dirty. Cats are meticulous about grooming, so they generally don’t need baths.
Grooming requirements vary by species, so check with the vet if you’re not sure about your pet’s needs.
If you keep your pet in a cage or tank, be sure to clean its habitat regularly.
Tips
Taking care of a pet is a big responsibility, so make sure you’re ready for a long-term commitment before you getting one.
If your pet is misbehaving, try to have patience. Give it more opportunities to burn off energy, and work on training it to obey commands. Obedience classes may also be helpful for both dogs and cats.
Warnings
Never hit your pet; it’s an ineffective punishment. Rewarding good behavior and ignoring your pet when it misbehaves is more effective than hitting it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Bonding with Your Pet\\n1-1. Play with your pet every day.\\nTo give your pet the physical and mental exercise it needs, do your best to play together every day. If you have a dog, play games like fetch and hide and seek. If you have a cat, play with feathers, streamers, string, and toy mice.\\nDaily playtime is especially important if you have a cat or dog. However, other animals need playtime, too. For instance, rabbits need some time out of their cage to exercise.\\nMake sure a room is safe before letting a rabbit, rodent, or other small pet out of its cage. To keep it safe, set up a pen so it can’t escape.\\n1-2. Scratch and rub your pet where it likes to be touched.\\nAs long as you handle your pet properly, physical contact is a great way to build your bond. Animals have different favorite spots, so learn where your pet likes to be rubbed or scratched. For example, if you have a dog, try scratching its ears and rubbing its belly to show it how much you care.\\nIf you have a cat, let it rub its face against your hand, scratch its head, and stroke it from its nose to its tail. Cats usually don't like having their belly or tail touched.\\nWhile people show affection by hugging, most cats and dogs don’t like to be hugged. For rabbits, rodents, and other small furry friends, be sure to use a gentle touch. Note that rabbits get stressed out when they’re over-handled.\\n1-3. Give your pet plenty of praise.\\nUse a happy tone of voice and tell your pet how much you love it. When it obeys a command or behaves well, heap on the praise to let it know it’s doing a good job.\\nBoth cats and dogs can recognize words and tell the difference between happy and angry tones. Additionally, from rabbits to horses, lots of other animals can identify happy tones and words.\\nIf you have a reptile, it may not hear or understand verbal praise, but you can still gently stroke its head or offer tasty treats to show your affection. Just be careful if you have a snake or other reptile that might bite.\\n1-4. Talk to your pet with a soothing voice daily.\\nJust as praise strengthens your bond, using a calm, soothing voice can help your pet become more comfortable with your presence. When you get home, try greeting your pet by saying something like, “There's my little puppy dog,” or, “Who's the best kitty in the whole world” in a gentle, comforting tone of voice.\\nWhen you're hanging out with your little bud, try scratching its favorite spots to be pet and softly tell it how much you love it. That'll make it feel super safe and cozy!\\n1-5. Reward your pet with healthy treats.\\nFeeding a cat or dog by hand is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond. Offering treats when your pet obeys a command can also help you encourage it to behave.\\nTreats can also help you bond with lots of other types of pets, such as rabbits and parrots.\\nKeep in mind too many treats can put your pet’s health at risk. As a rule of thumb, treats should account for less than 10% of your pet’s diet. Small slices of carrot or apple are healthy options for dogs. Catnip is the perfect way to reward your cat without adding extra calories to its diet.\\n2. Showing Your Pet Respect\\n2-1. Give your pet space if it doesn’t want to be touched.\\nGet to know how your pet communicates, and respect its boundaries if it wants to be left alone. Different types of animals communicate in unique ways, so do a little research on how your pet expresses itself. For instance, a dog is happy when it wags its tail, but a cat that's wagging its tail is agitated.\\nOther signs of agitation in cats include a hunched back, fur standing on end, ears pinned back, hissing, and growling.\\nFor dogs, signs of stress include pinned back ears, a rigid body, wide eyes, yawning, growling, and excessive barking.\\n2-2. Keep its environment as stress-free as possible.\\nDo your best to keep things calm and predictable. Stick to a regular schedule, avoid frequently rearranging furniture, and never taunt your pet. Animals love routines; unpredictability and lots of commotion are upsetting for pets.\\nAdditionally, if you have multiple pets, keep them separate if they don’t along. If you have a small animal, like a rabbit, make sure your cat or dog can’t go near it.\\n2-3. Avoid sneaking up on or startling your pet.\\nTry not to touch or approach your pet from the back. If you do, say something like “Hi pup!” or “Here kitty!” to announce your presence. Never intentionally try to scare or sneak up on your pet.\\nStartling a pet stresses it out, and a cat or dog could scratch or bite you. Some pets, such as rabbits, may experience serious health issues if they’re startled.\\n2-4. Make sure everyone in your family knows how to respect animals.\\nWhether you’re a parent or child, discuss the right ways to treat your pet with the rest of your family. If you have younger siblings, make sure they know how to respect your pet’s space and aren’t rough with it.\\nIf you’re a parent, talk to your kids about treating animals with respect from a young age. To prevent accidents, always supervise your younger children when they interact with pets.\\n3. Keeping Your Pet Healthy\\n3-1. Take your pet to the vet regularly.\\nAnnual check-ups are recommended for most pets. If your pet is older or has a long-term illness, it’ll need to see the vet more often. If you have a cat or a dog, be sure it receives all vaccinations required by your local laws.\\nYou should also regularly give your cat or dog medication to prevent fleas and ticks.\\n3-2. Feed it a balanced diet to help it maintain a healthy weight.\\nObesity dramatically increases your pet’s risk of injury and illness, so keep its diet in check. Buy commercial pet food labeled for your animal's age and species, measure the amount of food you offer, and give your pal treats in moderation.\\nCheck the pet food label or talk to the vet about the right amount of food to give your pet each day.\\n3-3. Make sure your pet gets plenty of exercise every day.\\nExercise can also help keep your pet’s weight in check, so play with it and provide enriching toys to keep it active. If you have a dog, be sure to take it on daily brisk walks.\\nThe right amount of exercise depends on your pet's age and species. For instance, a lap dog needs less exercise than a working breed, and a puppy or senior dog can't run around as much as a healthy adult dog.\\n3-4. Protect it from extreme temperatures and other hazards.\\nIf your cat or dog spends a lot of time outside, make sure it has access to a shelter with a roof. Avoid keeping your pet outside in hot weather or if the temperature is below freezing. \\nIf you keep your pet in a cage or tank, make sure the conditions meet its specific needs. For instance, if you own a reptile, maintain the temperature and humidity levels recommended for its species.\\n3-5. Keep your pet clean and well-groomed.\\nBrush your furry friend at least a few times a week; pets with long coats need daily brushing. If you have a dog, wash it every 2 to 4 weeks or if it gets dirty. Cats are meticulous about grooming, so they generally don’t need baths.\\nGrooming requirements vary by species, so check with the vet if you’re not sure about your pet’s needs.\\nIf you keep your pet in a cage or tank, be sure to clean its habitat regularly.\\nTips\\nTaking care of a pet is a big responsibility, so make sure you’re ready for a long-term commitment before you getting one.\\nIf your pet is misbehaving, try to have patience. Give it more opportunities to burn off energy, and work on training it to obey commands. Obedience classes may also be helpful for both dogs and cats.\\nWarnings\\nNever hit your pet; it’s an ineffective punishment. Rewarding good behavior and ignoring your pet when it misbehaves is more effective than hitting it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"From cats and dogs to rabbits and reptiles, all pets need to be treated with kindness. No matter which type of animal you own, there are plenty of ways to be nice to your pet. Play with your best bud and spend quality time together to strengthen your bond. Learn about how it communicates, and respect its space if it wants to be left alone. In addition to showing your pet affection, be sure to provide proper care to keep it happy and healthy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bonding with Your Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play with your pet every day.\", \"描述\": \"To give your pet the physical and mental exercise it needs, do your best to play together every day. If you have a dog, play games like fetch and hide and seek. If you have a cat, play with feathers, streamers, string, and toy mice.\\nDaily playtime is especially important if you have a cat or dog. However, other animals need playtime, too. For instance, rabbits need some time out of their cage to exercise.\\nMake sure a room is safe before letting a rabbit, rodent, or other small pet out of its cage. To keep it safe, set up a pen so it can’t escape.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Scratch and rub your pet where it likes to be touched.\", \"描述\": \"As long as you handle your pet properly, physical contact is a great way to build your bond. Animals have different favorite spots, so learn where your pet likes to be rubbed or scratched. For example, if you have a dog, try scratching its ears and rubbing its belly to show it how much you care.\\nIf you have a cat, let it rub its face against your hand, scratch its head, and stroke it from its nose to its tail. Cats usually don't like having their belly or tail touched.\\nWhile people show affection by hugging, most cats and dogs don’t like to be hugged. For rabbits, rodents, and other small furry friends, be sure to use a gentle touch. Note that rabbits get stressed out when they’re over-handled.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your pet plenty of praise.\", \"描述\": \"Use a happy tone of voice and tell your pet how much you love it. When it obeys a command or behaves well, heap on the praise to let it know it’s doing a good job.\\nBoth cats and dogs can recognize words and tell the difference between happy and angry tones. Additionally, from rabbits to horses, lots of other animals can identify happy tones and words.\\nIf you have a reptile, it may not hear or understand verbal praise, but you can still gently stroke its head or offer tasty treats to show your affection. Just be careful if you have a snake or other reptile that might bite.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to your pet with a soothing voice daily.\", \"描述\": \"Just as praise strengthens your bond, using a calm, soothing voice can help your pet become more comfortable with your presence. When you get home, try greeting your pet by saying something like, “There's my little puppy dog,” or, “Who's the best kitty in the whole world” in a gentle, comforting tone of voice.\\nWhen you're hanging out with your little bud, try scratching its favorite spots to be pet and softly tell it how much you love it. That'll make it feel super safe and cozy!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Reward your pet with healthy treats.\", \"描述\": \"Feeding a cat or dog by hand is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond. Offering treats when your pet obeys a command can also help you encourage it to behave.\\nTreats can also help you bond with lots of other types of pets, such as rabbits and parrots.\\nKeep in mind too many treats can put your pet’s health at risk. As a rule of thumb, treats should account for less than 10% of your pet’s diet. Small slices of carrot or apple are healthy options for dogs. Catnip is the perfect way to reward your cat without adding extra calories to its diet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Your Pet Respect\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your pet space if it doesn’t want to be touched.\", \"描述\": \"Get to know how your pet communicates, and respect its boundaries if it wants to be left alone. Different types of animals communicate in unique ways, so do a little research on how your pet expresses itself. For instance, a dog is happy when it wags its tail, but a cat that's wagging its tail is agitated.\\nOther signs of agitation in cats include a hunched back, fur standing on end, ears pinned back, hissing, and growling.\\nFor dogs, signs of stress include pinned back ears, a rigid body, wide eyes, yawning, growling, and excessive barking.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep its environment as stress-free as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Do your best to keep things calm and predictable. Stick to a regular schedule, avoid frequently rearranging furniture, and never taunt your pet. Animals love routines; unpredictability and lots of commotion are upsetting for pets.\\nAdditionally, if you have multiple pets, keep them separate if they don’t along. If you have a small animal, like a rabbit, make sure your cat or dog can’t go near it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid sneaking up on or startling your pet.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to touch or approach your pet from the back. If you do, say something like “Hi pup!” or “Here kitty!” to announce your presence. Never intentionally try to scare or sneak up on your pet.\\nStartling a pet stresses it out, and a cat or dog could scratch or bite you. Some pets, such as rabbits, may experience serious health issues if they’re startled.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure everyone in your family knows how to respect animals.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re a parent or child, discuss the right ways to treat your pet with the rest of your family. If you have younger siblings, make sure they know how to respect your pet’s space and aren’t rough with it.\\nIf you’re a parent, talk to your kids about treating animals with respect from a young age. To prevent accidents, always supervise your younger children when they interact with pets.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Pet Healthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take your pet to the vet regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Annual check-ups are recommended for most pets. If your pet is older or has a long-term illness, it’ll need to see the vet more often. If you have a cat or a dog, be sure it receives all vaccinations required by your local laws.\\nYou should also regularly give your cat or dog medication to prevent fleas and ticks.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Feed it a balanced diet to help it maintain a healthy weight.\", \"描述\": \"Obesity dramatically increases your pet’s risk of injury and illness, so keep its diet in check. Buy commercial pet food labeled for your animal's age and species, measure the amount of food you offer, and give your pal treats in moderation.\\nCheck the pet food label or talk to the vet about the right amount of food to give your pet each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure your pet gets plenty of exercise every day.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise can also help keep your pet’s weight in check, so play with it and provide enriching toys to keep it active. If you have a dog, be sure to take it on daily brisk walks.\\nThe right amount of exercise depends on your pet's age and species. For instance, a lap dog needs less exercise than a working breed, and a puppy or senior dog can't run around as much as a healthy adult dog.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Protect it from extreme temperatures and other hazards.\", \"描述\": \"If your cat or dog spends a lot of time outside, make sure it has access to a shelter with a roof. Avoid keeping your pet outside in hot weather or if the temperature is below freezing. \\nIf you keep your pet in a cage or tank, make sure the conditions meet its specific needs. For instance, if you own a reptile, maintain the temperature and humidity levels recommended for its species.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your pet clean and well-groomed.\", \"描述\": \"Brush your furry friend at least a few times a week; pets with long coats need daily brushing. If you have a dog, wash it every 2 to 4 weeks or if it gets dirty. Cats are meticulous about grooming, so they generally don’t need baths.\\nGrooming requirements vary by species, so check with the vet if you’re not sure about your pet’s needs.\\nIf you keep your pet in a cage or tank, be sure to clean its habitat regularly.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Taking care of a pet is a big responsibility, so make sure you’re ready for a long-term commitment before you getting one.\\n\", \"If your pet is misbehaving, try to have patience. Give it more opportunities to burn off energy, and work on training it to obey commands. Obedience classes may also be helpful for both dogs and cats.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never hit your pet; it’s an ineffective punishment. Rewarding good behavior and ignoring your pet when it misbehaves is more effective than hitting it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,987 | How to Be Nice to Your Siblings | 1. Supporting Your Siblings
1-1. Spend time with your siblings.
Your siblings need to feel like they have a place where they belong and are accepted, just like you. Spend time with each other and create memories that will strengthen your bond. Your sibling relationships will last a lifetime and your kindness will pay off in the long run.
Do activities that help your siblings become better people. Help them study, read together, give them tips before an interview, find them a job at your workplace.
You can insist on your need for having time to yourself or for spending with your friends. Be clear that you are not rejecting or purposefully excluding your sibling. Say: “I need to have a private conversation with my friend today. Next time, I’ll invite you to join.”
It can be difficult to develop relationships with step-siblings. Blending two different family experiences takes time. Be patient as everyone will need a different amount of time to grow comfortable with the new family dynamic.
1-2. Share your things.
It can be tempting to protect your things from the potential wear and damage that your siblings might inflict. Not only are material possessions less valuable than strong relationships, those possessions can help you share your tastes and interests and develop a sense of mutual trust and friendship.
Maintain boundaries. If your sibling wants to borrow something that you need to use, like a car that you rely on daily, explain your reason for saying no. Make clear that you will not change your decision.
Also, make sure that you ask before you borrow something that belongs to one of your siblings. This will help to foster respect between you.
1-3. Show affection.
Everyone wants to receive clear confirmation of the fact that they are liked and valued. The best way to do this will depend on your family dynamic and how you personally express affection. You might share hugs, high-fives, or gifts. Whatever way your family shows affection, regularly include your siblings. Every expression of affection counts for establishing a good relationship.
Compliment your siblings. Make it a daily point to compliment your siblings. Even if you cannot spend significant time with your siblings, you can cultivate a strong relationship by expressing your admiration for them.
You can also show affection through gratitude and encouragement. For example, saying "thank you" to your siblings can be helpful, even if you are only acknowledging little things. You can also encourage your siblings, such as by saying "Great job!" after a watching a sibling participate in a sporting event or perform in a school play.
1-4. Listen to your siblings.
Listening is a good way to develop a pattern of being nice to your siblings. Listening well can be a difficult art form: allow your sibling to explain an idea fully, interject only to ask clarifying questions or to show that you understand what they are feeling, and occasionally summarize what they have said. Resist the urge to give advice until you they ask for it. Maintain eye contact. Your siblings will see your patient listening as kindness.
A great way to show that you are actively listening is to ask questions that will encourage your sibling to clarify or elaborate: “How did that make you feel?” “Why did you make that choice?” “What do you plan to do about that?”
1-5. Support your siblings publicly.
Let friends and classmates know that you are proud of your siblings. When needed, defend your sibling against rumors and be supportive. Tell people that you respect and love your sibling and make clear that you will not tolerate anyone putting them down. Whether they are there to witness this, or hear about it later, your siblings will be happy to know that they do not face challenges alone.
When you have the chance, share some praise for your sibling’s talents: “My brother has a great sense of style that inspires me.” “My sister is great at math, she helped me understand my algebra homework.” “My sister gave me great advice for surviving school, she really understands how people interact.”
2. Dealing With Fights Maturely
2-1. Stay calm.
Emotions are often amplified during an argument. Acknowledge your emotions but engage arguments calmly. Rather than focus on fully expressing how you feel, focus on the source of the conflict. When your sibling says something hurtful, tell them that you are not going to respond to insults.
Take deep breaths. This can help you regain a sense of perspective when you feel yourself losing control of your emotions. Inhale and exhale deeply and count as you do it. You will be able to engage an argument better as you will be able to step out of the fight or flight pattern of confrontation.
Repeat reassuring phrases. Give kind and measured responses to aggressive accusations until your sibling understands that you are going to remain calm regardless of what they say. Have a mantra, like “Nice words or no words” to signal to your siblings that nasty statements are unhelpful. Tell them: “I understand that you’re hurt, and I want to address this once we can talk calmly about it.”
2-2. Identify what the argument is about.
Arguments can grow worse if you and your sibling do not understand the true source of conflict. You can turn an argument into a productive discussion by taking time to make sure that both parties specify what they want to resolve or accomplish.
Ask your sibling “what do you want me to know,” or “what do you think is the most important issue to talk about?” After you listen, tell them your answer to the same questions.
2-3. Avoid petty arguments.
Not only will needless fights waste time, they can undermine your strategies for dealing with significant issues. Be the stronger person and walk away from taunts, teasing, and pressuring tactics. Remind yourself that childish behavior is best met by ignoring it or deflecting the topic. By not responding, you will encourage your sibling to avoid petty arguments in the future.
Be polite when you confront your sibling. For example, if a sibling is talking to you while you are trying to pay attention to a TV program, say “It's rude to talk while I’m watching TV. I’ll talk with you when the program is over.” Do not start an argument by addressing them angrily.
If your sibling teases you or tries to get a negative reaction from you, say matter-of-factly that you're hurt by their behavior and disappointed that they don't treat you with the respect that you deserve. Say “I'll come back for a friendly and mature discussion when you are ready.”
2-4. Articulate clear boundaries.
No matter how close you are with your siblings, some issues should be off limits. If your sibling criticizes you about something that is not their business, clearly tell them that “You have crossed a line, this is not your business and I won’t discuss it with you.”
Siblings know you how to get a reaction from you since they shared your formative experiences. If they cross a boundary, tell them this immediately. Not everyone understands personal boundaries the same way, so help them respect your limits by articulating them.
2-5. Trust your siblings.
Even when emotions are raw, your siblings usually don't mean to hurt your feelings. In many cases, their desires may lead them to overlook your needs. They may be surprised by how an argument impacts you, so approach arguments with the assumption that respect can be restored through open dialogue.
Vocalize your trust in order to turn arguments into productive discussions: “I don’t know if you realize how hurtful that statement is.” “I think that you said that to hurt me, but I also think that you don’t really mean it.”
3. Maintaining Your Sibling Relationships
3-1. Look ahead.
Adult sibling relationships offer support and understanding that outlasts many friendships and marriages. These relationships are also linked to greater life satisfaction. The work that you do now to get along with siblings will help you secure important support throughout your life.
Caring for aging parents is a significant challenge that overwhelms many adults. Adult siblings will be able to offer unique support as you care for your aging parents. They share your formative experiences, understand your parents’ needs, and they are as personally invested in this difficult task as you are. Years of being nice will pay off as you face this challenge together.
As important as the bond between siblings is, it does not always lead to supportive relationships. It you are estranged from your siblings, it is important to realize that you are not alone in this.
3-2. Spend time together.
It can be difficult to maintain relationships, especially with siblings, as you grow up and move on to new stages of your life. Make a point to spend time together periodically so that you continue to share new experiences. Checking in on your adult siblings is one of the clearest ways to be nice to them.
If you live in the same area, you can alternate hosting dinner for each other’s family. If you live in different cities, you can arrange to visit your parents at the same time or plan a vacation together.
Call regularly. You do not need to speak for a long time to maintain your relationship. You should, however, speak often enough that you will all know what is happening in each other’s lives.
3-3. Recognize your unique bond.
No matter how many people you meet, no one will share quite the same experiences that you have shared with your siblings. Even if you do not feel as close to your siblings as you do to your friends, they share a perspective with you that others will not be able to replicate.
Even contentious sibling relationships can grow into a source of great support. It is possible the childhood rivalries may resurface between adults, but adulthood will provide opportunities to develop a more equitable friendship.
Warnings
Do not tolerate a sibling who hurts or abuses you purposefully. Such a sibling needs help and should not be excused just because of your relationship.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Supporting Your Siblings\\n1-1. Spend time with your siblings.\\nYour siblings need to feel like they have a place where they belong and are accepted, just like you. Spend time with each other and create memories that will strengthen your bond. Your sibling relationships will last a lifetime and your kindness will pay off in the long run.\\nDo activities that help your siblings become better people. Help them study, read together, give them tips before an interview, find them a job at your workplace.\\nYou can insist on your need for having time to yourself or for spending with your friends. Be clear that you are not rejecting or purposefully excluding your sibling. Say: “I need to have a private conversation with my friend today. Next time, I’ll invite you to join.”\\nIt can be difficult to develop relationships with step-siblings. Blending two different family experiences takes time. Be patient as everyone will need a different amount of time to grow comfortable with the new family dynamic.\\n1-2. Share your things.\\nIt can be tempting to protect your things from the potential wear and damage that your siblings might inflict. Not only are material possessions less valuable than strong relationships, those possessions can help you share your tastes and interests and develop a sense of mutual trust and friendship.\\nMaintain boundaries. If your sibling wants to borrow something that you need to use, like a car that you rely on daily, explain your reason for saying no. Make clear that you will not change your decision.\\nAlso, make sure that you ask before you borrow something that belongs to one of your siblings. This will help to foster respect between you.\\n1-3. Show affection.\\nEveryone wants to receive clear confirmation of the fact that they are liked and valued. The best way to do this will depend on your family dynamic and how you personally express affection. You might share hugs, high-fives, or gifts. Whatever way your family shows affection, regularly include your siblings. Every expression of affection counts for establishing a good relationship.\\nCompliment your siblings. Make it a daily point to compliment your siblings. Even if you cannot spend significant time with your siblings, you can cultivate a strong relationship by expressing your admiration for them.\\nYou can also show affection through gratitude and encouragement. For example, saying \\\"thank you\\\" to your siblings can be helpful, even if you are only acknowledging little things. You can also encourage your siblings, such as by saying \\\"Great job!\\\" after a watching a sibling participate in a sporting event or perform in a school play.\\n1-4. Listen to your siblings.\\nListening is a good way to develop a pattern of being nice to your siblings. Listening well can be a difficult art form: allow your sibling to explain an idea fully, interject only to ask clarifying questions or to show that you understand what they are feeling, and occasionally summarize what they have said. Resist the urge to give advice until you they ask for it. Maintain eye contact. Your siblings will see your patient listening as kindness.\\nA great way to show that you are actively listening is to ask questions that will encourage your sibling to clarify or elaborate: “How did that make you feel?” “Why did you make that choice?” “What do you plan to do about that?”\\n1-5. Support your siblings publicly.\\nLet friends and classmates know that you are proud of your siblings. When needed, defend your sibling against rumors and be supportive. Tell people that you respect and love your sibling and make clear that you will not tolerate anyone putting them down. Whether they are there to witness this, or hear about it later, your siblings will be happy to know that they do not face challenges alone.\\nWhen you have the chance, share some praise for your sibling’s talents: “My brother has a great sense of style that inspires me.” “My sister is great at math, she helped me understand my algebra homework.” “My sister gave me great advice for surviving school, she really understands how people interact.”\\n2. Dealing With Fights Maturely\\n2-1. Stay calm.\\nEmotions are often amplified during an argument. Acknowledge your emotions but engage arguments calmly. Rather than focus on fully expressing how you feel, focus on the source of the conflict. When your sibling says something hurtful, tell them that you are not going to respond to insults.\\nTake deep breaths. This can help you regain a sense of perspective when you feel yourself losing control of your emotions. Inhale and exhale deeply and count as you do it. You will be able to engage an argument better as you will be able to step out of the fight or flight pattern of confrontation.\\nRepeat reassuring phrases. Give kind and measured responses to aggressive accusations until your sibling understands that you are going to remain calm regardless of what they say. Have a mantra, like “Nice words or no words” to signal to your siblings that nasty statements are unhelpful. Tell them: “I understand that you’re hurt, and I want to address this once we can talk calmly about it.”\\n2-2. Identify what the argument is about.\\nArguments can grow worse if you and your sibling do not understand the true source of conflict. You can turn an argument into a productive discussion by taking time to make sure that both parties specify what they want to resolve or accomplish.\\nAsk your sibling “what do you want me to know,” or “what do you think is the most important issue to talk about?” After you listen, tell them your answer to the same questions.\\n2-3. Avoid petty arguments.\\nNot only will needless fights waste time, they can undermine your strategies for dealing with significant issues. Be the stronger person and walk away from taunts, teasing, and pressuring tactics. Remind yourself that childish behavior is best met by ignoring it or deflecting the topic. By not responding, you will encourage your sibling to avoid petty arguments in the future.\\nBe polite when you confront your sibling. For example, if a sibling is talking to you while you are trying to pay attention to a TV program, say “It's rude to talk while I’m watching TV. I’ll talk with you when the program is over.” Do not start an argument by addressing them angrily.\\nIf your sibling teases you or tries to get a negative reaction from you, say matter-of-factly that you're hurt by their behavior and disappointed that they don't treat you with the respect that you deserve. Say “I'll come back for a friendly and mature discussion when you are ready.”\\n2-4. Articulate clear boundaries.\\nNo matter how close you are with your siblings, some issues should be off limits. If your sibling criticizes you about something that is not their business, clearly tell them that “You have crossed a line, this is not your business and I won’t discuss it with you.”\\nSiblings know you how to get a reaction from you since they shared your formative experiences. If they cross a boundary, tell them this immediately. Not everyone understands personal boundaries the same way, so help them respect your limits by articulating them.\\n2-5. Trust your siblings.\\nEven when emotions are raw, your siblings usually don't mean to hurt your feelings. In many cases, their desires may lead them to overlook your needs. They may be surprised by how an argument impacts you, so approach arguments with the assumption that respect can be restored through open dialogue.\\nVocalize your trust in order to turn arguments into productive discussions: “I don’t know if you realize how hurtful that statement is.” “I think that you said that to hurt me, but I also think that you don’t really mean it.”\\n3. Maintaining Your Sibling Relationships\\n3-1. Look ahead.\\nAdult sibling relationships offer support and understanding that outlasts many friendships and marriages. These relationships are also linked to greater life satisfaction. The work that you do now to get along with siblings will help you secure important support throughout your life.\\nCaring for aging parents is a significant challenge that overwhelms many adults. Adult siblings will be able to offer unique support as you care for your aging parents. They share your formative experiences, understand your parents’ needs, and they are as personally invested in this difficult task as you are. Years of being nice will pay off as you face this challenge together.\\nAs important as the bond between siblings is, it does not always lead to supportive relationships. It you are estranged from your siblings, it is important to realize that you are not alone in this.\\n3-2. Spend time together.\\nIt can be difficult to maintain relationships, especially with siblings, as you grow up and move on to new stages of your life. Make a point to spend time together periodically so that you continue to share new experiences. Checking in on your adult siblings is one of the clearest ways to be nice to them.\\nIf you live in the same area, you can alternate hosting dinner for each other’s family. If you live in different cities, you can arrange to visit your parents at the same time or plan a vacation together.\\nCall regularly. You do not need to speak for a long time to maintain your relationship. You should, however, speak often enough that you will all know what is happening in each other’s lives.\\n3-3. Recognize your unique bond.\\nNo matter how many people you meet, no one will share quite the same experiences that you have shared with your siblings. Even if you do not feel as close to your siblings as you do to your friends, they share a perspective with you that others will not be able to replicate.\\nEven contentious sibling relationships can grow into a source of great support. It is possible the childhood rivalries may resurface between adults, but adulthood will provide opportunities to develop a more equitable friendship.\\nWarnings\\nDo not tolerate a sibling who hurts or abuses you purposefully. Such a sibling needs help and should not be excused just because of your relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have brothers or sisters, you know that conflicts are bound to happen occasionally. Don’t worry, you’re not alone: it’s common for siblings to try each other’s patience. While being nice to your siblings may seem like the least of your concerns, basic acts of kindness can help strengthen the unique bond that you share with your siblings. Your efforts to be nice by extending support, dealing with conflict productively, and maintaining your unique bond will prove rewarding.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Supporting Your Siblings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time with your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Your siblings need to feel like they have a place where they belong and are accepted, just like you. Spend time with each other and create memories that will strengthen your bond. Your sibling relationships will last a lifetime and your kindness will pay off in the long run.\\nDo activities that help your siblings become better people. Help them study, read together, give them tips before an interview, find them a job at your workplace.\\nYou can insist on your need for having time to yourself or for spending with your friends. Be clear that you are not rejecting or purposefully excluding your sibling. Say: “I need to have a private conversation with my friend today. Next time, I’ll invite you to join.”\\nIt can be difficult to develop relationships with step-siblings. Blending two different family experiences takes time. Be patient as everyone will need a different amount of time to grow comfortable with the new family dynamic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share your things.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to protect your things from the potential wear and damage that your siblings might inflict. Not only are material possessions less valuable than strong relationships, those possessions can help you share your tastes and interests and develop a sense of mutual trust and friendship.\\nMaintain boundaries. If your sibling wants to borrow something that you need to use, like a car that you rely on daily, explain your reason for saying no. Make clear that you will not change your decision.\\nAlso, make sure that you ask before you borrow something that belongs to one of your siblings. This will help to foster respect between you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show affection.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone wants to receive clear confirmation of the fact that they are liked and valued. The best way to do this will depend on your family dynamic and how you personally express affection. You might share hugs, high-fives, or gifts. Whatever way your family shows affection, regularly include your siblings. Every expression of affection counts for establishing a good relationship.\\nCompliment your siblings. Make it a daily point to compliment your siblings. Even if you cannot spend significant time with your siblings, you can cultivate a strong relationship by expressing your admiration for them.\\nYou can also show affection through gratitude and encouragement. For example, saying \\\"thank you\\\" to your siblings can be helpful, even if you are only acknowledging little things. You can also encourage your siblings, such as by saying \\\"Great job!\\\" after a watching a sibling participate in a sporting event or perform in a school play.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Listening is a good way to develop a pattern of being nice to your siblings. Listening well can be a difficult art form: allow your sibling to explain an idea fully, interject only to ask clarifying questions or to show that you understand what they are feeling, and occasionally summarize what they have said. Resist the urge to give advice until you they ask for it. Maintain eye contact. Your siblings will see your patient listening as kindness.\\nA great way to show that you are actively listening is to ask questions that will encourage your sibling to clarify or elaborate: “How did that make you feel?” “Why did you make that choice?” “What do you plan to do about that?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support your siblings publicly.\", \"描述\": \"Let friends and classmates know that you are proud of your siblings. When needed, defend your sibling against rumors and be supportive. Tell people that you respect and love your sibling and make clear that you will not tolerate anyone putting them down. Whether they are there to witness this, or hear about it later, your siblings will be happy to know that they do not face challenges alone.\\nWhen you have the chance, share some praise for your sibling’s talents: “My brother has a great sense of style that inspires me.” “My sister is great at math, she helped me understand my algebra homework.” “My sister gave me great advice for surviving school, she really understands how people interact.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing With Fights Maturely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Emotions are often amplified during an argument. Acknowledge your emotions but engage arguments calmly. Rather than focus on fully expressing how you feel, focus on the source of the conflict. When your sibling says something hurtful, tell them that you are not going to respond to insults.\\nTake deep breaths. This can help you regain a sense of perspective when you feel yourself losing control of your emotions. Inhale and exhale deeply and count as you do it. You will be able to engage an argument better as you will be able to step out of the fight or flight pattern of confrontation.\\nRepeat reassuring phrases. Give kind and measured responses to aggressive accusations until your sibling understands that you are going to remain calm regardless of what they say. Have a mantra, like “Nice words or no words” to signal to your siblings that nasty statements are unhelpful. Tell them: “I understand that you’re hurt, and I want to address this once we can talk calmly about it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify what the argument is about.\", \"描述\": \"Arguments can grow worse if you and your sibling do not understand the true source of conflict. You can turn an argument into a productive discussion by taking time to make sure that both parties specify what they want to resolve or accomplish.\\nAsk your sibling “what do you want me to know,” or “what do you think is the most important issue to talk about?” After you listen, tell them your answer to the same questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid petty arguments.\", \"描述\": \"Not only will needless fights waste time, they can undermine your strategies for dealing with significant issues. Be the stronger person and walk away from taunts, teasing, and pressuring tactics. Remind yourself that childish behavior is best met by ignoring it or deflecting the topic. By not responding, you will encourage your sibling to avoid petty arguments in the future.\\nBe polite when you confront your sibling. For example, if a sibling is talking to you while you are trying to pay attention to a TV program, say “It's rude to talk while I’m watching TV. I’ll talk with you when the program is over.” Do not start an argument by addressing them angrily.\\nIf your sibling teases you or tries to get a negative reaction from you, say matter-of-factly that you're hurt by their behavior and disappointed that they don't treat you with the respect that you deserve. Say “I'll come back for a friendly and mature discussion when you are ready.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Articulate clear boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how close you are with your siblings, some issues should be off limits. If your sibling criticizes you about something that is not their business, clearly tell them that “You have crossed a line, this is not your business and I won’t discuss it with you.”\\nSiblings know you how to get a reaction from you since they shared your formative experiences. If they cross a boundary, tell them this immediately. Not everyone understands personal boundaries the same way, so help them respect your limits by articulating them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Trust your siblings.\", \"描述\": \"Even when emotions are raw, your siblings usually don't mean to hurt your feelings. In many cases, their desires may lead them to overlook your needs. They may be surprised by how an argument impacts you, so approach arguments with the assumption that respect can be restored through open dialogue.\\nVocalize your trust in order to turn arguments into productive discussions: “I don’t know if you realize how hurtful that statement is.” “I think that you said that to hurt me, but I also think that you don’t really mean it.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Your Sibling Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look ahead.\", \"描述\": \"Adult sibling relationships offer support and understanding that outlasts many friendships and marriages. These relationships are also linked to greater life satisfaction. The work that you do now to get along with siblings will help you secure important support throughout your life.\\nCaring for aging parents is a significant challenge that overwhelms many adults. Adult siblings will be able to offer unique support as you care for your aging parents. They share your formative experiences, understand your parents’ needs, and they are as personally invested in this difficult task as you are. Years of being nice will pay off as you face this challenge together.\\nAs important as the bond between siblings is, it does not always lead to supportive relationships. It you are estranged from your siblings, it is important to realize that you are not alone in this.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time together.\", \"描述\": \"It can be difficult to maintain relationships, especially with siblings, as you grow up and move on to new stages of your life. Make a point to spend time together periodically so that you continue to share new experiences. Checking in on your adult siblings is one of the clearest ways to be nice to them.\\nIf you live in the same area, you can alternate hosting dinner for each other’s family. If you live in different cities, you can arrange to visit your parents at the same time or plan a vacation together.\\nCall regularly. You do not need to speak for a long time to maintain your relationship. You should, however, speak often enough that you will all know what is happening in each other’s lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize your unique bond.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how many people you meet, no one will share quite the same experiences that you have shared with your siblings. Even if you do not feel as close to your siblings as you do to your friends, they share a perspective with you that others will not be able to replicate.\\nEven contentious sibling relationships can grow into a source of great support. It is possible the childhood rivalries may resurface between adults, but adulthood will provide opportunities to develop a more equitable friendship.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not tolerate a sibling who hurts or abuses you purposefully. Such a sibling needs help and should not be excused just because of your relationship.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,988 | How to Be Nice to a Boy | 1. Put your phone away.
When you two chat, give him your full attention.
Put down your phone and look him in the eyes to let him know you’re paying attention to him and him only. Try not to interrupt, and ask follow up questions to let him know you’re really listening.
Listening to him will make him feel like he has your full attention and you’re not distracted by anyone else.
2. Create an inside joke with him.
Get a little goofy with a joke you two come up with.
It can be something silly that happened in class, a meme that you sent him on Instagram, or just a silly nickname you like to call him. Bring up your inside joke every once in a while to remind him of the bond you share together.
For instance, if your teacher accidentally said “bath class” instead of “math class,” you could say, “Oh, on your way to bath class?”
3. Post about him on social media.
Highlight the cool stuff he does for everyone to see.
If he had a big game or a school performance, snap a quick pic or a video and post about it. He’ll appreciate the fact that you care about him enough to show him off to your friends and family.
Even if he didn’t do anything crazy that day, you can still post about him. Say something like, “Random appreciation post.”
4. Buy him something special.
Let him know you’re thinking about him when he’s not around.
If you have an early morning class together, grab him a coffee on your way in. If you’re heading out to grab a snack, pick him up some chips or candy, too.
If you don’t have any money, you could even give him cool stuff that you’ve found outside! Pretty rocks or delicate seashells make cute gifts.
5. Show him affection.
A little physical touch can go a long way.
If you’re laughing at a joke of his, reach over and touch him on the arm. Or, pick an imaginary hair or speck of dust off his shoulder. The closeness will bring you two together in more ways than one.
If you two aren’t dating, getting a little touchy-feely is a good signal that you have feelings for him.
If you'd like to be extra flirty, try placing your hand over his or temporarily putting a hand on his leg.
6. Don’t bring up past flings.
He probably doesn’t want to hear about boys you dated in the past.
If you two are talking about old relationships, it’s fine to share your story. However, if you constantly bring up people you used to like or date, he’s probably not going to feel that great.
Even if you talk about them negatively, hearing about old flings can be draining. When in doubt, just don’t say anything.
7. Take him on fun adventures.
Make time to have fun together and try new things.
If you’ve never been roller skating, ask him to go to the roller rink with you. If he hasn’t been hiking before, take him to your favorite trail head. The more quality time you two can spend together, the better you’ll both feel about the relationship.
Hanging out with friends is nice, but try to set aside some time to hang out one-on-one, too. It will help you bond more and get to know each other better.
Making theoretical plans is a very effective way to flirt. For instance, if you're both talking about comedy, you might suggest going to a comedy show together sometime.
8. Ask him about his thoughts and feelings.
Dig a little deeper to get to know him more.
What are his life plans? Does he have any long-term goals? What’s his dream job? As you two chat, feel free to open up and give him a taste of your thoughts and feelings, too.
It shows him that you care about what’s going on inside his head.
You could ask things like, “What’s your favorite subject in school?” “Do you get along with your siblings?” “What’s on your bucket list?”
Try to ask engaging follow-up questions, too. For example, if he's talking about how much he loves cooking, you might ask about his favorite dish to make or what his cooking goals are.
9. Trust him.
All healthy relationships are built on trust.
If he tells you something (no matter how small), try to believe him. Starting a new relationship with distrust won’t end well, so it’s important to believe that he’s being honest.
If you don’t trust him because he’s been shady in the past, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
10. Stop yourself from saying things you might regret.
Even if you apologize, there are some things you can’t take back.
If you two are in a fight and you’re super angry, it might feel good to say something really cutting. However, if you hurt your boyfriend or your crush, he might not want to be with you anymore.
If you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath and count backwards from 10. Or, step out of the room to collect yourself before talking again.
Tips
If you have a crush on someone, the best way to approach them is to ask them out directly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Put your phone away.\\nWhen you two chat, give him your full attention.\\nPut down your phone and look him in the eyes to let him know you’re paying attention to him and him only. Try not to interrupt, and ask follow up questions to let him know you’re really listening.\\nListening to him will make him feel like he has your full attention and you’re not distracted by anyone else.\\n2. Create an inside joke with him.\\nGet a little goofy with a joke you two come up with.\\nIt can be something silly that happened in class, a meme that you sent him on Instagram, or just a silly nickname you like to call him. Bring up your inside joke every once in a while to remind him of the bond you share together.\\nFor instance, if your teacher accidentally said “bath class” instead of “math class,” you could say, “Oh, on your way to bath class?”\\n3. Post about him on social media.\\nHighlight the cool stuff he does for everyone to see.\\nIf he had a big game or a school performance, snap a quick pic or a video and post about it. He’ll appreciate the fact that you care about him enough to show him off to your friends and family.\\nEven if he didn’t do anything crazy that day, you can still post about him. Say something like, “Random appreciation post.”\\n4. Buy him something special.\\nLet him know you’re thinking about him when he’s not around.\\nIf you have an early morning class together, grab him a coffee on your way in. If you’re heading out to grab a snack, pick him up some chips or candy, too.\\nIf you don’t have any money, you could even give him cool stuff that you’ve found outside! Pretty rocks or delicate seashells make cute gifts.\\n5. Show him affection.\\nA little physical touch can go a long way.\\nIf you’re laughing at a joke of his, reach over and touch him on the arm. Or, pick an imaginary hair or speck of dust off his shoulder. The closeness will bring you two together in more ways than one.\\nIf you two aren’t dating, getting a little touchy-feely is a good signal that you have feelings for him.\\nIf you'd like to be extra flirty, try placing your hand over his or temporarily putting a hand on his leg.\\n6. Don’t bring up past flings.\\nHe probably doesn’t want to hear about boys you dated in the past.\\nIf you two are talking about old relationships, it’s fine to share your story. However, if you constantly bring up people you used to like or date, he’s probably not going to feel that great.\\nEven if you talk about them negatively, hearing about old flings can be draining. When in doubt, just don’t say anything.\\n7. Take him on fun adventures.\\nMake time to have fun together and try new things.\\nIf you’ve never been roller skating, ask him to go to the roller rink with you. If he hasn’t been hiking before, take him to your favorite trail head. The more quality time you two can spend together, the better you’ll both feel about the relationship.\\nHanging out with friends is nice, but try to set aside some time to hang out one-on-one, too. It will help you bond more and get to know each other better.\\nMaking theoretical plans is a very effective way to flirt. For instance, if you're both talking about comedy, you might suggest going to a comedy show together sometime.\\n8. Ask him about his thoughts and feelings.\\nDig a little deeper to get to know him more.\\nWhat are his life plans? Does he have any long-term goals? What’s his dream job? As you two chat, feel free to open up and give him a taste of your thoughts and feelings, too.\\nIt shows him that you care about what’s going on inside his head.\\nYou could ask things like, “What’s your favorite subject in school?” “Do you get along with your siblings?” “What’s on your bucket list?”\\nTry to ask engaging follow-up questions, too. For example, if he's talking about how much he loves cooking, you might ask about his favorite dish to make or what his cooking goals are.\\n9. Trust him.\\nAll healthy relationships are built on trust.\\nIf he tells you something (no matter how small), try to believe him. Starting a new relationship with distrust won’t end well, so it’s important to believe that he’s being honest.\\nIf you don’t trust him because he’s been shady in the past, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.\\n10. Stop yourself from saying things you might regret.\\nEven if you apologize, there are some things you can’t take back.\\nIf you two are in a fight and you’re super angry, it might feel good to say something really cutting. However, if you hurt your boyfriend or your crush, he might not want to be with you anymore.\\nIf you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath and count backwards from 10. Or, step out of the room to collect yourself before talking again.\\nTips\\nIf you have a crush on someone, the best way to approach them is to ask them out directly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you're trying to get a guy to like you or you just got into a relationship, you might be wondering how in the world you can be nice to a boy. It’s easy to be a little mean when you’re flirting, but it’s also important to be nice, kind, and courteous to your crush or your boyfriend. Take a look at these tips to learn how you can be a good friend and partner to any boy around you. Plus, we'll give you tips on what to say around him to make him like you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put your phone away.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you two chat, give him your full attention.\", \"描述\": \"Put down your phone and look him in the eyes to let him know you’re paying attention to him and him only. Try not to interrupt, and ask follow up questions to let him know you’re really listening.\\nListening to him will make him feel like he has your full attention and you’re not distracted by anyone else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create an inside joke with him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a little goofy with a joke you two come up with.\", \"描述\": \"It can be something silly that happened in class, a meme that you sent him on Instagram, or just a silly nickname you like to call him. Bring up your inside joke every once in a while to remind him of the bond you share together.\\nFor instance, if your teacher accidentally said “bath class” instead of “math class,” you could say, “Oh, on your way to bath class?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Post about him on social media.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Highlight the cool stuff he does for everyone to see.\", \"描述\": \"If he had a big game or a school performance, snap a quick pic or a video and post about it. He’ll appreciate the fact that you care about him enough to show him off to your friends and family.\\nEven if he didn’t do anything crazy that day, you can still post about him. Say something like, “Random appreciation post.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Buy him something special.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let him know you’re thinking about him when he’s not around.\", \"描述\": \"If you have an early morning class together, grab him a coffee on your way in. If you’re heading out to grab a snack, pick him up some chips or candy, too.\\nIf you don’t have any money, you could even give him cool stuff that you’ve found outside! Pretty rocks or delicate seashells make cute gifts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show him affection.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A little physical touch can go a long way.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re laughing at a joke of his, reach over and touch him on the arm. Or, pick an imaginary hair or speck of dust off his shoulder. The closeness will bring you two together in more ways than one.\\nIf you two aren’t dating, getting a little touchy-feely is a good signal that you have feelings for him.\\nIf you'd like to be extra flirty, try placing your hand over his or temporarily putting a hand on his leg.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t bring up past flings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"He probably doesn’t want to hear about boys you dated in the past.\", \"描述\": \"If you two are talking about old relationships, it’s fine to share your story. However, if you constantly bring up people you used to like or date, he’s probably not going to feel that great.\\nEven if you talk about them negatively, hearing about old flings can be draining. When in doubt, just don’t say anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take him on fun adventures.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make time to have fun together and try new things.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve never been roller skating, ask him to go to the roller rink with you. If he hasn’t been hiking before, take him to your favorite trail head. The more quality time you two can spend together, the better you’ll both feel about the relationship.\\nHanging out with friends is nice, but try to set aside some time to hang out one-on-one, too. It will help you bond more and get to know each other better.\\nMaking theoretical plans is a very effective way to flirt. For instance, if you're both talking about comedy, you might suggest going to a comedy show together sometime.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask him about his thoughts and feelings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dig a little deeper to get to know him more.\", \"描述\": \"What are his life plans? Does he have any long-term goals? What’s his dream job? As you two chat, feel free to open up and give him a taste of your thoughts and feelings, too.\\nIt shows him that you care about what’s going on inside his head.\\nYou could ask things like, “What’s your favorite subject in school?” “Do you get along with your siblings?” “What’s on your bucket list?”\\nTry to ask engaging follow-up questions, too. For example, if he's talking about how much he loves cooking, you might ask about his favorite dish to make or what his cooking goals are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Trust him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"All healthy relationships are built on trust.\", \"描述\": \"If he tells you something (no matter how small), try to believe him. Starting a new relationship with distrust won’t end well, so it’s important to believe that he’s being honest.\\nIf you don’t trust him because he’s been shady in the past, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stop yourself from saying things you might regret.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Even if you apologize, there are some things you can’t take back.\", \"描述\": \"If you two are in a fight and you’re super angry, it might feel good to say something really cutting. However, if you hurt your boyfriend or your crush, he might not want to be with you anymore.\\nIf you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath and count backwards from 10. Or, step out of the room to collect yourself before talking again.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have a crush on someone, the best way to approach them is to ask them out directly.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,989 | How to Be Nice to a Bully | 1. Managing Your Interactions with the Bully
1-1. Never counterattack.
The bully is looking to control you by forcing you to react to their meanness. Giving in means that they have won. Don’t allow a bully to affect you so much that you become a bully yourself.
Take a moment to step back from the situation emotionally. Count to ten in your head if you need to in order to calm down and prevent reacting negatively.
Try taking deep breaths to remain calm and keep your feelings in control.
1-2. Be positive when they are negative.
Cancel out something hateful that a bully says with something positive. This will throw the bully off of their game as they are not likely to have ever experienced this kind of positivity after they say something unkind. If they find that their bullying is unsuccessful in making you feel bad, they will likely retreat.
For instance, if the bully says something negative to you about your shoes, you can say something like “Oh wow, I’m sorry you don’t like them because I love them! These are my favorites! I got them on a really good sale.”
If the bully makes a sarcastic, fake compliment, thank them. This will throw them off as well.
1-3. Distance yourself from the bully.
Sometimes removing yourself from the possibility of an interaction with a bully can help. Try taking a different route, increasing your privacy online or making sure you’re not alone with the bully.
1-4. Stick up for yourself politely.
Just because you want to be nice to a bully doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. A bully is more likely to show kindness to someone they respect, and if you allow yourself to be treated unkindly with no pushback, the bullying will likely progress. Sticking up for yourself in a respectful manner will also help you preserve your confidence and build up your self-esteem.
Redirect the focus away from the insult and onto the attacker, without bullying back, with a brief response such as "Why do you say that?"
Prepare and practice your responses. Come up with some responses and practice saying them in the mirror when you are home. Do some role-playing of the kinds of situations that might come up. Practicing makes you more comfortable when you need to do it in a real situation.
1-5. Assert yourself but don’t be aggressive.
This establishes boundaries to appropriate behavior. Part of working out a bullying relationship is setting these limits. Being verbally assertive helps communicate these bounds. And making these limits explicit can help change the conscience of both the bully and others watching.
Assert yourself with words such as: “Please stop that.” “It’s my turn.” “Please don’t touch.” “It’s not okay to do that.”
1-6. Document the bullying.
Write down everything. Record what happened: when, where, how, and who was there. Enter it in your journal or diary; print out material from online bullying. This is important if you want to have a logical conversation with the bully or be able to demonstrate to an authority figure what has been happening.
1-7. Take a different perspective.
Rather than thinking of them as a “bully” and you as a “victim,” think instead of their action in an isolated way. Think to yourself “this is one action out of one million that they will take today” rather than allowing that one act to define who they are and how you think of them. Instead of thinking of the person as a “bully” consider their actions as an “act of bullying.”
Just as you are not the sum of all of the worst things that you have done or said, your bully is not either. Do your best to separate the person from the bad things that they do.
2. Showing Kindness to the Bully
2-1. Reflect on what you know about the bully.
Understanding the bully will allow you to respond more appropriately to their actions. Consider the information that you have about the bully like their age, educational background, family, home, and job. More often than not, a bully comes from a family or a home where they are also being bullied and they respond by releasing their pent-up hurt and anger on others.
Remember that hurt people may hurt people. Your bully is probably dealing with emotional issues that they do not know how to handle. This can be the first step in you developing empathy for them.
You do not need to invest a lot of time in finding out this information; sometimes the information we already have is telling enough.
2-2. Don’t judge the bully.
When someone is rude and unkind, it can be easy to judge them for their faults. Instead, focus on not critiquing them for these inadequacies, but instead practicing empathy and compassion in dealing with them. Consider the ways you too may have been rude or hateful to others in the past not as a way to excuse the bully for their actions, but as a way to relate to them.
Show your bully the kindness you want them to show to you. Respond nicely and with compassion even when they are rude to you. The bully may be very unaccustomed to people being nice to them, so show them the kindness missing in their life.
If the bully always does something like closing the door in your face, open the door for them. These small acts of kindness add up and teach the bully how to treat you and others.
Greet your bully with a smile and a “hello” each day that you see them. They will marvel at your continued positivity and joy.
2-3. Consider your similarities.
There are few people on this Earth who are singularly evil or unkind. Ponder the things that you and the bully may have in common to allow you to further develop compassion for them. This will make it easier for you to be kind.
Perhaps you and your bully both share a love for baseball or for a certain type of food. When they are rude, think of these similarities to help you be kind in return.
2-4. Put yourself in their shoes.
True kindness and empathy often stem from being able to understand a person’s perspective. If you know that your bully has faced bullying in their life also, this could explain their negative actions towards you. Your bully may also be dealing with a difficult personal situation that is causing them to lash out at you. This does not make their actions okay by any means, but it can help to inform your responses to them.
2-5. Invite the bully into activities and conversations.
Including the bully can help to build relationships and relating skills. Ask them to help you with something or pick them to be on your team. Keep working towards changing the bully relationship into an appropriate and productive relationship. This can take time, but to stop bullying, we all need to work together to encourage healthy relationships and civil communities.
2-6. Defend the bully if they are being mistreated.
If you see your bully being spoken to in a way that is rude, approach the situation and calmly intervene. You can tell the person doing the bullying that you don’t think what they’re doing is right in very subtle ways by saying something like “Not cool at all” to the person being mean and by asking your bully if they’re okay or want to talk.
2-7. Help the bully if you see them struggling.
You may see your bully struggling to lift a heavy box or having difficulty carrying a lot of items; help them. They will likely remember all the times that they treated you unfairly and begin to feel remorse.
3. Coping with the Bully
3-1. Remain calm.
Bullies are often looking for an emotional response, so it helps if you avoid bringing emotion into your response. You can protect your feelings from hurtful insults by ignoring the unkindness or by using positive self-talk.
Breathe deeply. Deep breathing can help you maintain your cool in tense situations.
Another way to remain calm is to reflect back on a time when you felt happy or at peace. It can be helpful to think back on a recent beach trip or moment with friends to recenter yourself back to positivity.
3-2. Practice positive self-talk.
Oftentimes, a bully is hurling so much negativity towards you that it can be difficult to think positively about yourself. It is important that you don’t let yourself get trapped by the message of the bully and that instead, you develop positive messages about yourself. If a bully is constantly telling you that you are ugly, try looking in the mirror at yourself every morning and night and repeating something like “I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worthy” to yourself repeatedly until you begin to acknowledge that it is true.
Remember that the message of the bully is an opinion. How you feel about yourself is most important.
Meditate in the mornings and at night before work or school. Meditate on principles of positivity and thankfulness. These messages will give you strength as you start your day.
3-3. Find a supportive community.
Though the bully may count for one of your interactions in your daily life, make sure that they are not the only ones. Surround yourself with positive and affirming people who will lift you up so much that the bullying will begin to affect you less and less.
Seek community at church, with your current friends, with family, and with others that you trust. You never know if someone you speak to has been bullied before and may be able to give you advice on how to handle it with grace, respect, and kindness.
3-4. Practice self-care.
Being kind to others is intertwined with showing kindness to yourself. Take time to yourself when you are alone to do things that you enjoy like reading, watching films, or exercising. These things can often get the bullying off of your mind and help transport you back to a place of joy and positivity, despite the bully’s actions.
Remember that you can’t help others unless you are good to yourself first.
3-5. Talk to someone you trust.
You may find that the bully can overwhelm you. If you feel that you are becoming depressed, seek out help from your family and friends. You may find it necessary to seek the help of a therapist. There is no stigma in reaching out for help when you need it!
Tips
Remember that you have to take care of yourself first. Don’t be so focused on showing kindness to your bully that you forget to show kindness to yourself.
Seek help if needed; speak to your teacher, coworker, or boss if your bully intensifies their aggression towards you.
A person who is bullying you or someone else is only one person; they represent one opinion out of the billions of people who live on this earth. Therefore, in the grand scheme of things, their opinion is rather unimportant. Think of an insult as simply an expression of someone’s opinion, an opinion you don’t have to agree with. Realize that this is the bully’s issue, a problem with their own morals and values, and not a problem with you.
Warnings
If your bully ever hits or hurts you physically in any way, report it immediately.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Managing Your Interactions with the Bully\\n1-1. Never counterattack.\\nThe bully is looking to control you by forcing you to react to their meanness. Giving in means that they have won. Don’t allow a bully to affect you so much that you become a bully yourself.\\nTake a moment to step back from the situation emotionally. Count to ten in your head if you need to in order to calm down and prevent reacting negatively.\\nTry taking deep breaths to remain calm and keep your feelings in control.\\n1-2. Be positive when they are negative.\\nCancel out something hateful that a bully says with something positive. This will throw the bully off of their game as they are not likely to have ever experienced this kind of positivity after they say something unkind. If they find that their bullying is unsuccessful in making you feel bad, they will likely retreat. \\nFor instance, if the bully says something negative to you about your shoes, you can say something like “Oh wow, I’m sorry you don’t like them because I love them! These are my favorites! I got them on a really good sale.”\\nIf the bully makes a sarcastic, fake compliment, thank them. This will throw them off as well.\\n1-3. Distance yourself from the bully.\\nSometimes removing yourself from the possibility of an interaction with a bully can help. Try taking a different route, increasing your privacy online or making sure you’re not alone with the bully.\\n1-4. Stick up for yourself politely.\\nJust because you want to be nice to a bully doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. A bully is more likely to show kindness to someone they respect, and if you allow yourself to be treated unkindly with no pushback, the bullying will likely progress. Sticking up for yourself in a respectful manner will also help you preserve your confidence and build up your self-esteem.\\nRedirect the focus away from the insult and onto the attacker, without bullying back, with a brief response such as \\\"Why do you say that?\\\"\\nPrepare and practice your responses. Come up with some responses and practice saying them in the mirror when you are home. Do some role-playing of the kinds of situations that might come up. Practicing makes you more comfortable when you need to do it in a real situation.\\n1-5. Assert yourself but don’t be aggressive.\\nThis establishes boundaries to appropriate behavior. Part of working out a bullying relationship is setting these limits. Being verbally assertive helps communicate these bounds. And making these limits explicit can help change the conscience of both the bully and others watching.\\nAssert yourself with words such as: “Please stop that.” “It’s my turn.” “Please don’t touch.” “It’s not okay to do that.”\\n1-6. Document the bullying.\\nWrite down everything. Record what happened: when, where, how, and who was there. Enter it in your journal or diary; print out material from online bullying. This is important if you want to have a logical conversation with the bully or be able to demonstrate to an authority figure what has been happening.\\n1-7. Take a different perspective.\\nRather than thinking of them as a “bully” and you as a “victim,” think instead of their action in an isolated way. Think to yourself “this is one action out of one million that they will take today” rather than allowing that one act to define who they are and how you think of them. Instead of thinking of the person as a “bully” consider their actions as an “act of bullying.”\\nJust as you are not the sum of all of the worst things that you have done or said, your bully is not either. Do your best to separate the person from the bad things that they do.\\n2. Showing Kindness to the Bully\\n2-1. Reflect on what you know about the bully.\\nUnderstanding the bully will allow you to respond more appropriately to their actions. Consider the information that you have about the bully like their age, educational background, family, home, and job. More often than not, a bully comes from a family or a home where they are also being bullied and they respond by releasing their pent-up hurt and anger on others.\\nRemember that hurt people may hurt people. Your bully is probably dealing with emotional issues that they do not know how to handle. This can be the first step in you developing empathy for them.\\nYou do not need to invest a lot of time in finding out this information; sometimes the information we already have is telling enough.\\n2-2. Don’t judge the bully.\\nWhen someone is rude and unkind, it can be easy to judge them for their faults. Instead, focus on not critiquing them for these inadequacies, but instead practicing empathy and compassion in dealing with them. Consider the ways you too may have been rude or hateful to others in the past not as a way to excuse the bully for their actions, but as a way to relate to them.\\nShow your bully the kindness you want them to show to you. Respond nicely and with compassion even when they are rude to you. The bully may be very unaccustomed to people being nice to them, so show them the kindness missing in their life.\\nIf the bully always does something like closing the door in your face, open the door for them. These small acts of kindness add up and teach the bully how to treat you and others.\\nGreet your bully with a smile and a “hello” each day that you see them. They will marvel at your continued positivity and joy.\\n2-3. Consider your similarities.\\nThere are few people on this Earth who are singularly evil or unkind. Ponder the things that you and the bully may have in common to allow you to further develop compassion for them. This will make it easier for you to be kind.\\nPerhaps you and your bully both share a love for baseball or for a certain type of food. When they are rude, think of these similarities to help you be kind in return.\\n2-4. Put yourself in their shoes.\\nTrue kindness and empathy often stem from being able to understand a person’s perspective. If you know that your bully has faced bullying in their life also, this could explain their negative actions towards you. Your bully may also be dealing with a difficult personal situation that is causing them to lash out at you. This does not make their actions okay by any means, but it can help to inform your responses to them.\\n2-5. Invite the bully into activities and conversations.\\nIncluding the bully can help to build relationships and relating skills. Ask them to help you with something or pick them to be on your team. Keep working towards changing the bully relationship into an appropriate and productive relationship. This can take time, but to stop bullying, we all need to work together to encourage healthy relationships and civil communities.\\n2-6. Defend the bully if they are being mistreated.\\nIf you see your bully being spoken to in a way that is rude, approach the situation and calmly intervene. You can tell the person doing the bullying that you don’t think what they’re doing is right in very subtle ways by saying something like “Not cool at all” to the person being mean and by asking your bully if they’re okay or want to talk.\\n2-7. Help the bully if you see them struggling.\\nYou may see your bully struggling to lift a heavy box or having difficulty carrying a lot of items; help them. They will likely remember all the times that they treated you unfairly and begin to feel remorse.\\n3. Coping with the Bully\\n3-1. Remain calm.\\nBullies are often looking for an emotional response, so it helps if you avoid bringing emotion into your response. You can protect your feelings from hurtful insults by ignoring the unkindness or by using positive self-talk.\\nBreathe deeply. Deep breathing can help you maintain your cool in tense situations.\\nAnother way to remain calm is to reflect back on a time when you felt happy or at peace. It can be helpful to think back on a recent beach trip or moment with friends to recenter yourself back to positivity.\\n3-2. Practice positive self-talk.\\nOftentimes, a bully is hurling so much negativity towards you that it can be difficult to think positively about yourself. It is important that you don’t let yourself get trapped by the message of the bully and that instead, you develop positive messages about yourself. If a bully is constantly telling you that you are ugly, try looking in the mirror at yourself every morning and night and repeating something like “I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worthy” to yourself repeatedly until you begin to acknowledge that it is true.\\nRemember that the message of the bully is an opinion. How you feel about yourself is most important.\\nMeditate in the mornings and at night before work or school. Meditate on principles of positivity and thankfulness. These messages will give you strength as you start your day.\\n3-3. Find a supportive community.\\nThough the bully may count for one of your interactions in your daily life, make sure that they are not the only ones. Surround yourself with positive and affirming people who will lift you up so much that the bullying will begin to affect you less and less.\\nSeek community at church, with your current friends, with family, and with others that you trust. You never know if someone you speak to has been bullied before and may be able to give you advice on how to handle it with grace, respect, and kindness.\\n3-4. Practice self-care.\\nBeing kind to others is intertwined with showing kindness to yourself. Take time to yourself when you are alone to do things that you enjoy like reading, watching films, or exercising. These things can often get the bullying off of your mind and help transport you back to a place of joy and positivity, despite the bully’s actions.\\nRemember that you can’t help others unless you are good to yourself first.\\n3-5. Talk to someone you trust.\\nYou may find that the bully can overwhelm you. If you feel that you are becoming depressed, seek out help from your family and friends. You may find it necessary to seek the help of a therapist. There is no stigma in reaching out for help when you need it!\\nTips\\nRemember that you have to take care of yourself first. Don’t be so focused on showing kindness to your bully that you forget to show kindness to yourself.\\nSeek help if needed; speak to your teacher, coworker, or boss if your bully intensifies their aggression towards you.\\nA person who is bullying you or someone else is only one person; they represent one opinion out of the billions of people who live on this earth. Therefore, in the grand scheme of things, their opinion is rather unimportant. Think of an insult as simply an expression of someone’s opinion, an opinion you don’t have to agree with. Realize that this is the bully’s issue, a problem with their own morals and values, and not a problem with you.\\nWarnings\\nIf your bully ever hits or hurts you physically in any way, report it immediately.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Bullying can be a problem in any community: in a school, in the workplace, even online. Oftentimes, the behavior of the bully is a reflection of their own insecurities and is not due to any flaw of your own. Though this unkindness can be overwhelming and harmful, through a conscious effort, you can overcome nearly any bully and even find ways to demonstrate kindness to them.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Managing Your Interactions with the Bully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Never counterattack.\", \"描述\": \"The bully is looking to control you by forcing you to react to their meanness. Giving in means that they have won. Don’t allow a bully to affect you so much that you become a bully yourself.\\nTake a moment to step back from the situation emotionally. Count to ten in your head if you need to in order to calm down and prevent reacting negatively.\\nTry taking deep breaths to remain calm and keep your feelings in control.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be positive when they are negative.\", \"描述\": \"Cancel out something hateful that a bully says with something positive. This will throw the bully off of their game as they are not likely to have ever experienced this kind of positivity after they say something unkind. If they find that their bullying is unsuccessful in making you feel bad, they will likely retreat. \\nFor instance, if the bully says something negative to you about your shoes, you can say something like “Oh wow, I’m sorry you don’t like them because I love them! These are my favorites! I got them on a really good sale.”\\nIf the bully makes a sarcastic, fake compliment, thank them. This will throw them off as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Distance yourself from the bully.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes removing yourself from the possibility of an interaction with a bully can help. Try taking a different route, increasing your privacy online or making sure you’re not alone with the bully.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stick up for yourself politely.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you want to be nice to a bully doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. A bully is more likely to show kindness to someone they respect, and if you allow yourself to be treated unkindly with no pushback, the bullying will likely progress. Sticking up for yourself in a respectful manner will also help you preserve your confidence and build up your self-esteem.\\nRedirect the focus away from the insult and onto the attacker, without bullying back, with a brief response such as \\\"Why do you say that?\\\"\\nPrepare and practice your responses. Come up with some responses and practice saying them in the mirror when you are home. Do some role-playing of the kinds of situations that might come up. Practicing makes you more comfortable when you need to do it in a real situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Assert yourself but don’t be aggressive.\", \"描述\": \"This establishes boundaries to appropriate behavior. Part of working out a bullying relationship is setting these limits. Being verbally assertive helps communicate these bounds. And making these limits explicit can help change the conscience of both the bully and others watching.\\nAssert yourself with words such as: “Please stop that.” “It’s my turn.” “Please don’t touch.” “It’s not okay to do that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Document the bullying.\", \"描述\": \"Write down everything. Record what happened: when, where, how, and who was there. Enter it in your journal or diary; print out material from online bullying. This is important if you want to have a logical conversation with the bully or be able to demonstrate to an authority figure what has been happening.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take a different perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than thinking of them as a “bully” and you as a “victim,” think instead of their action in an isolated way. Think to yourself “this is one action out of one million that they will take today” rather than allowing that one act to define who they are and how you think of them. Instead of thinking of the person as a “bully” consider their actions as an “act of bullying.”\\nJust as you are not the sum of all of the worst things that you have done or said, your bully is not either. Do your best to separate the person from the bad things that they do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Kindness to the Bully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reflect on what you know about the bully.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding the bully will allow you to respond more appropriately to their actions. Consider the information that you have about the bully like their age, educational background, family, home, and job. More often than not, a bully comes from a family or a home where they are also being bullied and they respond by releasing their pent-up hurt and anger on others.\\nRemember that hurt people may hurt people. Your bully is probably dealing with emotional issues that they do not know how to handle. This can be the first step in you developing empathy for them.\\nYou do not need to invest a lot of time in finding out this information; sometimes the information we already have is telling enough.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t judge the bully.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is rude and unkind, it can be easy to judge them for their faults. Instead, focus on not critiquing them for these inadequacies, but instead practicing empathy and compassion in dealing with them. Consider the ways you too may have been rude or hateful to others in the past not as a way to excuse the bully for their actions, but as a way to relate to them.\\nShow your bully the kindness you want them to show to you. Respond nicely and with compassion even when they are rude to you. The bully may be very unaccustomed to people being nice to them, so show them the kindness missing in their life.\\nIf the bully always does something like closing the door in your face, open the door for them. These small acts of kindness add up and teach the bully how to treat you and others.\\nGreet your bully with a smile and a “hello” each day that you see them. They will marvel at your continued positivity and joy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider your similarities.\", \"描述\": \"There are few people on this Earth who are singularly evil or unkind. Ponder the things that you and the bully may have in common to allow you to further develop compassion for them. This will make it easier for you to be kind.\\nPerhaps you and your bully both share a love for baseball or for a certain type of food. When they are rude, think of these similarities to help you be kind in return.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in their shoes.\", \"描述\": \"True kindness and empathy often stem from being able to understand a person’s perspective. If you know that your bully has faced bullying in their life also, this could explain their negative actions towards you. Your bully may also be dealing with a difficult personal situation that is causing them to lash out at you. This does not make their actions okay by any means, but it can help to inform your responses to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Invite the bully into activities and conversations.\", \"描述\": \"Including the bully can help to build relationships and relating skills. Ask them to help you with something or pick them to be on your team. Keep working towards changing the bully relationship into an appropriate and productive relationship. This can take time, but to stop bullying, we all need to work together to encourage healthy relationships and civil communities.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Defend the bully if they are being mistreated.\", \"描述\": \"If you see your bully being spoken to in a way that is rude, approach the situation and calmly intervene. You can tell the person doing the bullying that you don’t think what they’re doing is right in very subtle ways by saying something like “Not cool at all” to the person being mean and by asking your bully if they’re okay or want to talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Help the bully if you see them struggling.\", \"描述\": \"You may see your bully struggling to lift a heavy box or having difficulty carrying a lot of items; help them. They will likely remember all the times that they treated you unfairly and begin to feel remorse.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Coping with the Bully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remain calm.\", \"描述\": \"Bullies are often looking for an emotional response, so it helps if you avoid bringing emotion into your response. You can protect your feelings from hurtful insults by ignoring the unkindness or by using positive self-talk.\\nBreathe deeply. Deep breathing can help you maintain your cool in tense situations.\\nAnother way to remain calm is to reflect back on a time when you felt happy or at peace. It can be helpful to think back on a recent beach trip or moment with friends to recenter yourself back to positivity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice positive self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"Oftentimes, a bully is hurling so much negativity towards you that it can be difficult to think positively about yourself. It is important that you don’t let yourself get trapped by the message of the bully and that instead, you develop positive messages about yourself. If a bully is constantly telling you that you are ugly, try looking in the mirror at yourself every morning and night and repeating something like “I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worthy” to yourself repeatedly until you begin to acknowledge that it is true.\\nRemember that the message of the bully is an opinion. How you feel about yourself is most important.\\nMeditate in the mornings and at night before work or school. Meditate on principles of positivity and thankfulness. These messages will give you strength as you start your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a supportive community.\", \"描述\": \"Though the bully may count for one of your interactions in your daily life, make sure that they are not the only ones. Surround yourself with positive and affirming people who will lift you up so much that the bullying will begin to affect you less and less.\\nSeek community at church, with your current friends, with family, and with others that you trust. You never know if someone you speak to has been bullied before and may be able to give you advice on how to handle it with grace, respect, and kindness.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice self-care.\", \"描述\": \"Being kind to others is intertwined with showing kindness to yourself. Take time to yourself when you are alone to do things that you enjoy like reading, watching films, or exercising. These things can often get the bullying off of your mind and help transport you back to a place of joy and positivity, despite the bully’s actions.\\nRemember that you can’t help others unless you are good to yourself first.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone you trust.\", \"描述\": \"You may find that the bully can overwhelm you. If you feel that you are becoming depressed, seek out help from your family and friends. You may find it necessary to seek the help of a therapist. There is no stigma in reaching out for help when you need it!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that you have to take care of yourself first. Don’t be so focused on showing kindness to your bully that you forget to show kindness to yourself.\\n\", \"Seek help if needed; speak to your teacher, coworker, or boss if your bully intensifies their aggression towards you.\\n\", \"A person who is bullying you or someone else is only one person; they represent one opinion out of the billions of people who live on this earth. Therefore, in the grand scheme of things, their opinion is rather unimportant. Think of an insult as simply an expression of someone’s opinion, an opinion you don’t have to agree with. Realize that this is the bully’s issue, a problem with their own morals and values, and not a problem with you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If your bully ever hits or hurts you physically in any way, report it immediately.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,990 | How to Be Nice to a Girl | 1. Being Kind and Friendly
1-1. Be open and approachable.
Show interest and enthusiasm. Girls are more likely to engage in conversation with you if you are approachable. Give off the impression that you’d like to help, or at least be open to conversation.
Use body language that indicates openness. Smile. Maintain good eye contact. Turn and face the girl when talking.
Avoid defaulting to checking your phone, computer or other devices. Show that you’re not too busy to have a conversation with the girl. For example, if a girl talks with you at a party, and you're constantly distracted by your phone, she'll likely think you don't want to talk with her, or aren't friendly.
Avoid tensing up or getting anxious when the girl approaches or engages in conversation. Keep your body loose and avoid fidgeting.
1-2. Be a good listener.
Have active listening skills that demonstrate empathy and engagement with what the girl is saying. Avoid making the conversation only about you and your interests. A good conversation is a two-way street.
Pay attention when the girl is talking. Avoid distractions.
Summarize or restate what you heard. Repeat it back to her for clarification or to demonstrate that you were listening. For example, “Let me see if I heard what you’re saying…”
Reflect on what was said or provide feedback. For example, “It sounds like you had a tough night after talking with your parents.”
Validate what you’ve heard. For example, “I can totally understand where you’re coming from.”
Allow for pauses and silences for a few seconds. Avoid interrupting until the girl has finished her thoughts.
1-3. Show an interest in what she says and does.
While you may not always have the same interests or feelings about a situation, being nice involves showing genuine interest, and being willing to care about what others say and do.
Ask question to know more about something that she’s interested in. Find something she likes that you can gravitate towards. For example, if she’s interested in cats and bicycling, and you’re not really into cats but like bikes, focus the questions around bicycling.
Avoid getting distracted or zoning out. When trying to get to know a girl better, it’s important to be engaged and pay attention. If you’re having trouble staying focused, consider excusing yourself politely, and approaching her at a different time when you’re more ready to talk.
1-4. Avoid petty arguments.
Disagreements or differences of opinion can lead to petty arguments. No matter if you’re talking with a girl or a guy, it’s important to be calm and respectful. Don’t turn a difference of opinion into a big issue.
Being nice involves respecting other people’s viewpoints. A girl has a right to her views in the same way that you have right to yours. For example, let's say you're at school and talking with a girl after class about problems with a certain class. She may think highly of the class, while you think it's terrible. Avoid getting into a big argument just because she has a different opinion.
Avoid getting upset with a girl or making her upset. Be aware of the way you act or what you say that could lead to arguments. Take a step back and take a deep breath if you need to avoid confrontation.
2. Making Her Feel Special
2-1. Be courteous with small gestures.
Being chivalrous to a girl remains an important way to have courtesy and respect. You don’t have to bend-over backwards to be courteous. Consider these small gestures as signs of kindness and respect:
Make sure to say “please” and “thank you.” Use your words to show appreciation of something she’s done to help you, even if it’s a small thing like picking up a pen that fell on the floor.
Open doors for her. Allow her to walk through first, rather than going ahead of her. Show that you are gentleman.
Help to get things that are possibly out of reach. Let’s say you’re at a store, and the girl is trying to reach something on the top shelf. Help to grab the item for her, or find someone who works at the store to help with getting the item down.
2-2. Compliment her.
Whether you’re romantically interested in this girl or not, it can make a girl feel special when you compliment her. Avoid compliment her about certain body parts, that could make you come off as creepy.
Compliment her about if she dressed nicely today. It doesn’t have to be too specific, just say, “You look nice today.”
Compliment her about something she’s doing well. Let’s say you’re in a class with her, and she just gave a great class presentation. You could say, “That was a great presentation. It looked effortless.”
Compliment her about things that she does for others. If she has a generous spirit, say something like, “You’re very caring.”
2-3. Show up early or on-time to show that you care.
If there is an event planned or you’re meeting up with a girl, show up on-time. Show that you respect her time, as much as yours, particularly if she’s involved in the event planning.
Being present and showing up is one of the simplest ways to show that you care.
Being nice is also about being considerate of others’ time. The girl is less likely to be anxious or frustrated if you show up when you said you would.
3. Staying Sincere and Humble
3-1. Be confident but humble.
Show confidence in who you are, and that you have many good things to offer others. Avoid being overly confident by being kind and appreciative of others.
Avoid bragging about yourself, or making the conversation all about you when talking to a girl. For example, let's say you just met a girl, and she asks about what work you do. Maybe you want to brag about how much money you make. While this may seem like a good way to impress a girl, it's important to be humble, and instead focus more on what you enjoy about your work.
Avoid being hard or down about yourself. Try to focus the conversation on things that you enjoy doing, rather than what makes you annoyed or unhappy. Avoid making the conversations intense or morbid.
Show that you can be friendly and kind to others, not just to the girl you’re talking to. Learn to be more comfortable around acquaintances or people you don’t know by asking questions about their interests.
3-2. Be considerate of her feelings.
Avoid making her feel dumb, uninteresting, or rude. Be thoughtful in what you say and how you say it. If you think that what you say may come out wrong, or seem hurtful, avoid blurting it out.
Think before you speak. Take a few seconds to process what you’ll say. Imagine whether your words could come off as rude, cold, or unfeeling if you were in the girl’s shoes.
Remember that each person is different. One girl may react in one way, and another girl might react differently. Be prepared for the possibility that what you say may not work out as well as you thought.
3-3. Show your support when she's having a tough time.
Be supportive when someone is feeling down, frustrated, or confused. Showing empathy and concern is a step towards a better relationship.
Offer your help in some way. For example, if she’s had a bad day and she’s carrying lots of stuff, offer to help with carrying some of the items.
Avoid trying to quickly find solutions to her problems. She may just want to have emotional support, rather than advice on what to do.
Offer hugs to help console her. If she’s very sad or tearful, be welcoming, but make sure that it’s appropriate. Ask for her permission, such as, “I’m sorry about what you’re going through. Do you need a hug?”
Treat her as you would like to be treated—with kindness and sincerity.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Kind and Friendly\\n1-1. Be open and approachable.\\nShow interest and enthusiasm. Girls are more likely to engage in conversation with you if you are approachable. Give off the impression that you’d like to help, or at least be open to conversation. \\nUse body language that indicates openness. Smile. Maintain good eye contact. Turn and face the girl when talking.\\nAvoid defaulting to checking your phone, computer or other devices. Show that you’re not too busy to have a conversation with the girl. For example, if a girl talks with you at a party, and you're constantly distracted by your phone, she'll likely think you don't want to talk with her, or aren't friendly.\\nAvoid tensing up or getting anxious when the girl approaches or engages in conversation. Keep your body loose and avoid fidgeting.\\n1-2. Be a good listener.\\nHave active listening skills that demonstrate empathy and engagement with what the girl is saying. Avoid making the conversation only about you and your interests. A good conversation is a two-way street.\\nPay attention when the girl is talking. Avoid distractions.\\nSummarize or restate what you heard. Repeat it back to her for clarification or to demonstrate that you were listening. For example, “Let me see if I heard what you’re saying…”\\nReflect on what was said or provide feedback. For example, “It sounds like you had a tough night after talking with your parents.”\\nValidate what you’ve heard. For example, “I can totally understand where you’re coming from.”\\nAllow for pauses and silences for a few seconds. Avoid interrupting until the girl has finished her thoughts.\\n1-3. Show an interest in what she says and does.\\nWhile you may not always have the same interests or feelings about a situation, being nice involves showing genuine interest, and being willing to care about what others say and do.\\nAsk question to know more about something that she’s interested in. Find something she likes that you can gravitate towards. For example, if she’s interested in cats and bicycling, and you’re not really into cats but like bikes, focus the questions around bicycling.\\nAvoid getting distracted or zoning out. When trying to get to know a girl better, it’s important to be engaged and pay attention. If you’re having trouble staying focused, consider excusing yourself politely, and approaching her at a different time when you’re more ready to talk.\\n1-4. Avoid petty arguments.\\nDisagreements or differences of opinion can lead to petty arguments. No matter if you’re talking with a girl or a guy, it’s important to be calm and respectful. Don’t turn a difference of opinion into a big issue. \\nBeing nice involves respecting other people’s viewpoints. A girl has a right to her views in the same way that you have right to yours. For example, let's say you're at school and talking with a girl after class about problems with a certain class. She may think highly of the class, while you think it's terrible. Avoid getting into a big argument just because she has a different opinion.\\nAvoid getting upset with a girl or making her upset. Be aware of the way you act or what you say that could lead to arguments. Take a step back and take a deep breath if you need to avoid confrontation.\\n2. Making Her Feel Special\\n2-1. Be courteous with small gestures.\\nBeing chivalrous to a girl remains an important way to have courtesy and respect. You don’t have to bend-over backwards to be courteous. Consider these small gestures as signs of kindness and respect:\\nMake sure to say “please” and “thank you.” Use your words to show appreciation of something she’s done to help you, even if it’s a small thing like picking up a pen that fell on the floor.\\nOpen doors for her. Allow her to walk through first, rather than going ahead of her. Show that you are gentleman.\\nHelp to get things that are possibly out of reach. Let’s say you’re at a store, and the girl is trying to reach something on the top shelf. Help to grab the item for her, or find someone who works at the store to help with getting the item down.\\n2-2. Compliment her.\\nWhether you’re romantically interested in this girl or not, it can make a girl feel special when you compliment her. Avoid compliment her about certain body parts, that could make you come off as creepy.\\nCompliment her about if she dressed nicely today. It doesn’t have to be too specific, just say, “You look nice today.”\\nCompliment her about something she’s doing well. Let’s say you’re in a class with her, and she just gave a great class presentation. You could say, “That was a great presentation. It looked effortless.”\\nCompliment her about things that she does for others. If she has a generous spirit, say something like, “You’re very caring.”\\n2-3. Show up early or on-time to show that you care.\\nIf there is an event planned or you’re meeting up with a girl, show up on-time. Show that you respect her time, as much as yours, particularly if she’s involved in the event planning.\\nBeing present and showing up is one of the simplest ways to show that you care.\\nBeing nice is also about being considerate of others’ time. The girl is less likely to be anxious or frustrated if you show up when you said you would.\\n3. Staying Sincere and Humble\\n3-1. Be confident but humble.\\nShow confidence in who you are, and that you have many good things to offer others. Avoid being overly confident by being kind and appreciative of others.\\nAvoid bragging about yourself, or making the conversation all about you when talking to a girl. For example, let's say you just met a girl, and she asks about what work you do. Maybe you want to brag about how much money you make. While this may seem like a good way to impress a girl, it's important to be humble, and instead focus more on what you enjoy about your work.\\nAvoid being hard or down about yourself. Try to focus the conversation on things that you enjoy doing, rather than what makes you annoyed or unhappy. Avoid making the conversations intense or morbid.\\nShow that you can be friendly and kind to others, not just to the girl you’re talking to. Learn to be more comfortable around acquaintances or people you don’t know by asking questions about their interests.\\n3-2. Be considerate of her feelings.\\nAvoid making her feel dumb, uninteresting, or rude. Be thoughtful in what you say and how you say it. If you think that what you say may come out wrong, or seem hurtful, avoid blurting it out.\\nThink before you speak. Take a few seconds to process what you’ll say. Imagine whether your words could come off as rude, cold, or unfeeling if you were in the girl’s shoes.\\nRemember that each person is different. One girl may react in one way, and another girl might react differently. Be prepared for the possibility that what you say may not work out as well as you thought.\\n3-3. Show your support when she's having a tough time.\\nBe supportive when someone is feeling down, frustrated, or confused. Showing empathy and concern is a step towards a better relationship.\\nOffer your help in some way. For example, if she’s had a bad day and she’s carrying lots of stuff, offer to help with carrying some of the items.\\nAvoid trying to quickly find solutions to her problems. She may just want to have emotional support, rather than advice on what to do.\\nOffer hugs to help console her. If she’s very sad or tearful, be welcoming, but make sure that it’s appropriate. Ask for her permission, such as, “I’m sorry about what you’re going through. Do you need a hug?”\\nTreat her as you would like to be treated—with kindness and sincerity.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re around a girl, you may feel awkward or not know what to do. Being nice to a girl doesn’t have to be a big challenge if you learn to be approachable, courteous, and respectful. One key aspect of making a girl think better of you is to be a good listener. Show an interest in what she says and does, rather than being distracted or thinking only about you. Make her feel special with small gestures and acts of kindness. With a little effort, it can be easy to be nice.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Kind and Friendly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open and approachable.\", \"描述\": \"Show interest and enthusiasm. Girls are more likely to engage in conversation with you if you are approachable. Give off the impression that you’d like to help, or at least be open to conversation. \\nUse body language that indicates openness. Smile. Maintain good eye contact. Turn and face the girl when talking.\\nAvoid defaulting to checking your phone, computer or other devices. Show that you’re not too busy to have a conversation with the girl. For example, if a girl talks with you at a party, and you're constantly distracted by your phone, she'll likely think you don't want to talk with her, or aren't friendly.\\nAvoid tensing up or getting anxious when the girl approaches or engages in conversation. Keep your body loose and avoid fidgeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"Have active listening skills that demonstrate empathy and engagement with what the girl is saying. Avoid making the conversation only about you and your interests. A good conversation is a two-way street.\\nPay attention when the girl is talking. Avoid distractions.\\nSummarize or restate what you heard. Repeat it back to her for clarification or to demonstrate that you were listening. For example, “Let me see if I heard what you’re saying…”\\nReflect on what was said or provide feedback. For example, “It sounds like you had a tough night after talking with your parents.”\\nValidate what you’ve heard. For example, “I can totally understand where you’re coming from.”\\nAllow for pauses and silences for a few seconds. Avoid interrupting until the girl has finished her thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show an interest in what she says and does.\", \"描述\": \"While you may not always have the same interests or feelings about a situation, being nice involves showing genuine interest, and being willing to care about what others say and do.\\nAsk question to know more about something that she’s interested in. Find something she likes that you can gravitate towards. For example, if she’s interested in cats and bicycling, and you’re not really into cats but like bikes, focus the questions around bicycling.\\nAvoid getting distracted or zoning out. When trying to get to know a girl better, it’s important to be engaged and pay attention. If you’re having trouble staying focused, consider excusing yourself politely, and approaching her at a different time when you’re more ready to talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid petty arguments.\", \"描述\": \"Disagreements or differences of opinion can lead to petty arguments. No matter if you’re talking with a girl or a guy, it’s important to be calm and respectful. Don’t turn a difference of opinion into a big issue. \\nBeing nice involves respecting other people’s viewpoints. A girl has a right to her views in the same way that you have right to yours. For example, let's say you're at school and talking with a girl after class about problems with a certain class. She may think highly of the class, while you think it's terrible. Avoid getting into a big argument just because she has a different opinion.\\nAvoid getting upset with a girl or making her upset. Be aware of the way you act or what you say that could lead to arguments. Take a step back and take a deep breath if you need to avoid confrontation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Her Feel Special\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be courteous with small gestures.\", \"描述\": \"Being chivalrous to a girl remains an important way to have courtesy and respect. You don’t have to bend-over backwards to be courteous. Consider these small gestures as signs of kindness and respect:\\nMake sure to say “please” and “thank you.” Use your words to show appreciation of something she’s done to help you, even if it’s a small thing like picking up a pen that fell on the floor.\\nOpen doors for her. Allow her to walk through first, rather than going ahead of her. Show that you are gentleman.\\nHelp to get things that are possibly out of reach. Let’s say you’re at a store, and the girl is trying to reach something on the top shelf. Help to grab the item for her, or find someone who works at the store to help with getting the item down.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re romantically interested in this girl or not, it can make a girl feel special when you compliment her. Avoid compliment her about certain body parts, that could make you come off as creepy.\\nCompliment her about if she dressed nicely today. It doesn’t have to be too specific, just say, “You look nice today.”\\nCompliment her about something she’s doing well. Let’s say you’re in a class with her, and she just gave a great class presentation. You could say, “That was a great presentation. It looked effortless.”\\nCompliment her about things that she does for others. If she has a generous spirit, say something like, “You’re very caring.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show up early or on-time to show that you care.\", \"描述\": \"If there is an event planned or you’re meeting up with a girl, show up on-time. Show that you respect her time, as much as yours, particularly if she’s involved in the event planning.\\nBeing present and showing up is one of the simplest ways to show that you care.\\nBeing nice is also about being considerate of others’ time. The girl is less likely to be anxious or frustrated if you show up when you said you would.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Sincere and Humble\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident but humble.\", \"描述\": \"Show confidence in who you are, and that you have many good things to offer others. Avoid being overly confident by being kind and appreciative of others.\\nAvoid bragging about yourself, or making the conversation all about you when talking to a girl. For example, let's say you just met a girl, and she asks about what work you do. Maybe you want to brag about how much money you make. While this may seem like a good way to impress a girl, it's important to be humble, and instead focus more on what you enjoy about your work.\\nAvoid being hard or down about yourself. Try to focus the conversation on things that you enjoy doing, rather than what makes you annoyed or unhappy. Avoid making the conversations intense or morbid.\\nShow that you can be friendly and kind to others, not just to the girl you’re talking to. Learn to be more comfortable around acquaintances or people you don’t know by asking questions about their interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be considerate of her feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid making her feel dumb, uninteresting, or rude. Be thoughtful in what you say and how you say it. If you think that what you say may come out wrong, or seem hurtful, avoid blurting it out.\\nThink before you speak. Take a few seconds to process what you’ll say. Imagine whether your words could come off as rude, cold, or unfeeling if you were in the girl’s shoes.\\nRemember that each person is different. One girl may react in one way, and another girl might react differently. Be prepared for the possibility that what you say may not work out as well as you thought.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your support when she's having a tough time.\", \"描述\": \"Be supportive when someone is feeling down, frustrated, or confused. Showing empathy and concern is a step towards a better relationship.\\nOffer your help in some way. For example, if she’s had a bad day and she’s carrying lots of stuff, offer to help with carrying some of the items.\\nAvoid trying to quickly find solutions to her problems. She may just want to have emotional support, rather than advice on what to do.\\nOffer hugs to help console her. If she’s very sad or tearful, be welcoming, but make sure that it’s appropriate. Ask for her permission, such as, “I’m sorry about what you’re going through. Do you need a hug?”\\nTreat her as you would like to be treated—with kindness and sincerity.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,991 | How to Be Nice to a Girl Without Flirting | 1. Be chivalrous to everyone.
If you hold the door for her, hold the door for someone else, too.
It’s fine to be a chivalrous person, but try to show her that you’re just that way in general. If she sees you being chivalrous to everyone, she won’t automatically assume you’re doing it to flirt with her.
If you pull out her chair at a restaurant, pull out your other friend’s chair, too.
2. Compliment her in a neutral tone.
Being teasing or playful often comes across as flirtatious.
If you want to give her a compliment, say it like you would to one of your buddies. Keep your tone flat, and just say something quick and casual.
For instance, you might say, “Good job on that presentation earlier.”
Or, “I really liked that joke you told at dinner earlier.”
3. Text her back right away.
If you liked her, you’d probably wait a bit to show you’re not too eager.
Although this can seem counterintuitive, texting her back right away lets her know that you’re not playing hard to get (and therefore, you aren’t flirting with her). It’s subtle, but it can actually make a difference in your interactions.
It’s fine if you accidentally miss a text and don’t respond for a while. In general, though, try to respond to her quickly.
4. Set her up with a friend.
Tell her all about your buddy who would be a perfect match for her.
She’ll get the message that while you’re not interested, someone else might be. Plus, this is a great way to pair up two of your single friends!
Say something like, “You know who you would really get along with? My friend, Seth. Let me give you his number so you two can hang out sometime.”
5. Keep your hang outs casual.
Don’t go out to a 5-star restaurant.
Instead, meet up at a dive bar or a diner near your house. She’ll get the message that this is a platonic hangout and not a date.
Even if you’re celebrating something special, don’t go anywhere you have to dress up unless you’re in a big group of friends.
6. Invite her to group hangs.
If you and your friends go out, invite her along.
Introduce her to the group so she can bop around and chat with everyone. Better yet, tell her to invite a friend along too so she really gets the message that this isn’t romantic.
You could say something like, “Hey! Me and the boys were gonna get together tonight to watch the game. You wanna come over? Bring a friend if you want!”
7. Don’t compliment parts of her body.
Pointing out her body is very flirtatious.
Even if you notice that she looks good that day, don’t draw attention to it. Stick to neutral compliments about her personality so she doesn’t get the wrong idea.
If you really want to point something out, stick to something she’s wearing, like her shoes or a necklace. Stay away from anything that clings to her body, like a tight top or a short skirt.
For instance, you might say, “You’re so generous. You’re such a good friend to have.”
8. Change the topic if sexual subjects come up.
Sometimes friends like to talk about their latest hookups.
While it’s fine to do every once in a while, it could send the wrong message to her. If she brings up how good she is at kissing or what she did last night (wink), go ahead and change the topic.
For instance, if she says something like, “All my previous boyfriends have said I’m a great kisser,” you might brush it off with a joke, like, “Well, my girlfriend says I give really great hugs, so I think I win.”
9. Keep your distance from her.
Try not to lean in close or touch her on the arm.
Breaking the physical touch barrier is often seen as a clear sign that someone is flirting. When you two hang out, keep your hands to yourself so she doesn’t get the wrong message.
If you’re hugging her hello or goodbye, keep the interaction short, and try not to linger.
10. Don’t give out your contact info.
If you meet a girl while you’re out, she might ask for your number.
Try not to give it to her, since that can send the wrong message. If you do want to keep chatting with her but you don’t want it to be flirtatious, give her your social media handle instead. It’s a little less personal, and she might get the hint that you aren’t into her.
You could also give her your email address.
11. Talk about your partner.
Let her know that you’re in a happy relationship.
If you have a partner, tell your friend all about them and how well you two are doing. She’ll hopefully get the message that you aren’t trying to flirt with her since you’re in a relationship.
Unfortunately, some people don’t see a relationship as a barrier to flirting. Use this method in conjunction with other things to get the message across.
Tips
If she pushes any of your boundaries, tell her that you’re just not interested.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be chivalrous to everyone.\\nIf you hold the door for her, hold the door for someone else, too.\\nIt’s fine to be a chivalrous person, but try to show her that you’re just that way in general. If she sees you being chivalrous to everyone, she won’t automatically assume you’re doing it to flirt with her.\\nIf you pull out her chair at a restaurant, pull out your other friend’s chair, too.\\n2. Compliment her in a neutral tone.\\nBeing teasing or playful often comes across as flirtatious.\\nIf you want to give her a compliment, say it like you would to one of your buddies. Keep your tone flat, and just say something quick and casual.\\nFor instance, you might say, “Good job on that presentation earlier.”\\nOr, “I really liked that joke you told at dinner earlier.”\\n3. Text her back right away.\\nIf you liked her, you’d probably wait a bit to show you’re not too eager.\\nAlthough this can seem counterintuitive, texting her back right away lets her know that you’re not playing hard to get (and therefore, you aren’t flirting with her). It’s subtle, but it can actually make a difference in your interactions.\\nIt’s fine if you accidentally miss a text and don’t respond for a while. In general, though, try to respond to her quickly.\\n4. Set her up with a friend.\\nTell her all about your buddy who would be a perfect match for her.\\nShe’ll get the message that while you’re not interested, someone else might be. Plus, this is a great way to pair up two of your single friends!\\nSay something like, “You know who you would really get along with? My friend, Seth. Let me give you his number so you two can hang out sometime.”\\n5. Keep your hang outs casual.\\nDon’t go out to a 5-star restaurant.\\nInstead, meet up at a dive bar or a diner near your house. She’ll get the message that this is a platonic hangout and not a date.\\nEven if you’re celebrating something special, don’t go anywhere you have to dress up unless you’re in a big group of friends.\\n6. Invite her to group hangs.\\nIf you and your friends go out, invite her along.\\nIntroduce her to the group so she can bop around and chat with everyone. Better yet, tell her to invite a friend along too so she really gets the message that this isn’t romantic.\\nYou could say something like, “Hey! Me and the boys were gonna get together tonight to watch the game. You wanna come over? Bring a friend if you want!”\\n7. Don’t compliment parts of her body.\\nPointing out her body is very flirtatious.\\nEven if you notice that she looks good that day, don’t draw attention to it. Stick to neutral compliments about her personality so she doesn’t get the wrong idea.\\nIf you really want to point something out, stick to something she’s wearing, like her shoes or a necklace. Stay away from anything that clings to her body, like a tight top or a short skirt.\\nFor instance, you might say, “You’re so generous. You’re such a good friend to have.”\\n8. Change the topic if sexual subjects come up.\\nSometimes friends like to talk about their latest hookups.\\nWhile it’s fine to do every once in a while, it could send the wrong message to her. If she brings up how good she is at kissing or what she did last night (wink), go ahead and change the topic.\\nFor instance, if she says something like, “All my previous boyfriends have said I’m a great kisser,” you might brush it off with a joke, like, “Well, my girlfriend says I give really great hugs, so I think I win.”\\n9. Keep your distance from her.\\nTry not to lean in close or touch her on the arm.\\nBreaking the physical touch barrier is often seen as a clear sign that someone is flirting. When you two hang out, keep your hands to yourself so she doesn’t get the wrong message.\\nIf you’re hugging her hello or goodbye, keep the interaction short, and try not to linger.\\n10. Don’t give out your contact info.\\nIf you meet a girl while you’re out, she might ask for your number.\\nTry not to give it to her, since that can send the wrong message. If you do want to keep chatting with her but you don’t want it to be flirtatious, give her your social media handle instead. It’s a little less personal, and she might get the hint that you aren’t into her.\\nYou could also give her your email address.\\n11. Talk about your partner.\\nLet her know that you’re in a happy relationship.\\nIf you have a partner, tell your friend all about them and how well you two are doing. She’ll hopefully get the message that you aren’t trying to flirt with her since you’re in a relationship.\\nUnfortunately, some people don’t see a relationship as a barrier to flirting. Use this method in conjunction with other things to get the message across.\\nTips\\nIf she pushes any of your boundaries, tell her that you’re just not interested.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re a friendly person, you can sometimes come across as flirtatious, even if you don’t mean to be. Thankfully, there are ways you can focus on being friendly without giving off flirty vibes, even subconsciously. Keep reading to learn how you can be friendly toward a girl without giving her the wrong impression.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be chivalrous to everyone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you hold the door for her, hold the door for someone else, too.\", \"描述\": \"It’s fine to be a chivalrous person, but try to show her that you’re just that way in general. If she sees you being chivalrous to everyone, she won’t automatically assume you’re doing it to flirt with her.\\nIf you pull out her chair at a restaurant, pull out your other friend’s chair, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment her in a neutral tone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being teasing or playful often comes across as flirtatious.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to give her a compliment, say it like you would to one of your buddies. Keep your tone flat, and just say something quick and casual.\\nFor instance, you might say, “Good job on that presentation earlier.”\\nOr, “I really liked that joke you told at dinner earlier.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Text her back right away.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you liked her, you’d probably wait a bit to show you’re not too eager.\", \"描述\": \"Although this can seem counterintuitive, texting her back right away lets her know that you’re not playing hard to get (and therefore, you aren’t flirting with her). It’s subtle, but it can actually make a difference in your interactions.\\nIt’s fine if you accidentally miss a text and don’t respond for a while. In general, though, try to respond to her quickly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set her up with a friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell her all about your buddy who would be a perfect match for her.\", \"描述\": \"She’ll get the message that while you’re not interested, someone else might be. Plus, this is a great way to pair up two of your single friends!\\nSay something like, “You know who you would really get along with? My friend, Seth. Let me give you his number so you two can hang out sometime.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your hang outs casual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t go out to a 5-star restaurant.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, meet up at a dive bar or a diner near your house. She’ll get the message that this is a platonic hangout and not a date.\\nEven if you’re celebrating something special, don’t go anywhere you have to dress up unless you’re in a big group of friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Invite her to group hangs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you and your friends go out, invite her along.\", \"描述\": \"Introduce her to the group so she can bop around and chat with everyone. Better yet, tell her to invite a friend along too so she really gets the message that this isn’t romantic.\\nYou could say something like, “Hey! Me and the boys were gonna get together tonight to watch the game. You wanna come over? Bring a friend if you want!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t compliment parts of her body.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pointing out her body is very flirtatious.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you notice that she looks good that day, don’t draw attention to it. Stick to neutral compliments about her personality so she doesn’t get the wrong idea.\\nIf you really want to point something out, stick to something she’s wearing, like her shoes or a necklace. Stay away from anything that clings to her body, like a tight top or a short skirt.\\nFor instance, you might say, “You’re so generous. You’re such a good friend to have.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Change the topic if sexual subjects come up.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes friends like to talk about their latest hookups.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s fine to do every once in a while, it could send the wrong message to her. If she brings up how good she is at kissing or what she did last night (wink), go ahead and change the topic.\\nFor instance, if she says something like, “All my previous boyfriends have said I’m a great kisser,” you might brush it off with a joke, like, “Well, my girlfriend says I give really great hugs, so I think I win.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep your distance from her.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to lean in close or touch her on the arm.\", \"描述\": \"Breaking the physical touch barrier is often seen as a clear sign that someone is flirting. When you two hang out, keep your hands to yourself so she doesn’t get the wrong message.\\nIf you’re hugging her hello or goodbye, keep the interaction short, and try not to linger.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don’t give out your contact info.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you meet a girl while you’re out, she might ask for your number.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to give it to her, since that can send the wrong message. If you do want to keep chatting with her but you don’t want it to be flirtatious, give her your social media handle instead. It’s a little less personal, and she might get the hint that you aren’t into her.\\nYou could also give her your email address.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Talk about your partner.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let her know that you’re in a happy relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a partner, tell your friend all about them and how well you two are doing. She’ll hopefully get the message that you aren’t trying to flirt with her since you’re in a relationship.\\nUnfortunately, some people don’t see a relationship as a barrier to flirting. Use this method in conjunction with other things to get the message across.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If she pushes any of your boundaries, tell her that you’re just not interested.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,992 | How to Be Nice to a Guy Without Flirting | 1. Enjoying a Male-Female Friendship
1-1. Show you care in non-romantic ways.
Be a good friend, but avoid giving him the wrong idea that you care more than you really do. Keep it simple and relaxed. Do things for him that you'd do for any other friend you have. You might try to:
Distract him by going out for pizza if he's had a difficult day.
Help him move or pack when he needs it.
Check-in occasionally to ask how he's doing if you live far away from each other.
Help him brainstorm solutions to any problems he's having, like how to deal with a difficult boss or professor.
Introduce him to your other friends or people he could date.
1-2. Give friendly compliments.
Be just as encouraging to your male friend as you would to your female friends. Show your support by smiling at him, giving him pep-talks, and boosting his mood.
Avoid complimenting his physical appearance to avoid awkwardness, confusion, or mixed signals.
Show your appreciation or gratitude. You could say, "Thank you so much for listening to me about that problem at school. Your point of view was really helpful!"
Build up his strength when he is having difficulty. Don't be fake or invalidate his feelings or experience, but do be honest that you think well of him and believe in him. You might say, "I hear that it's tough for you right now. That really sucks. But just know that you're strong and I think you're going to make it through this."
1-3. Avoid flirtatious touching.
A normal friendship may consist of touching or hugging. But touch can be a powerful way to flirt, so be careful how you touch your friend. You can still give him a goodbye hug or an innocent high five, but avoid sending mixed signals with prolonged or intimate touching.
Avoid touching your friend’s arms or face.
Avoid lingering hugs with full body contact.
Don’t give your friend massages or shoulder rubs.
Avoid cuddling or putting your arm around your friend.
Realize that some people may be flirty without realizing it.
1-4. Set clear boundaries
It will be much easier to maintain a friendship if you have rules. Think of each other more as siblings. Spend time doing activities that are non-romantic in nature.
If you're married or dating someone else, avoid sharing secrets or talking about intimate things with this friend that you wouldn’t share with your spouse or partner, too.
If you regularly travel with your friend for leisure or work, avoid sharing hotel rooms, sharing romantic meals, and drinking too much alcohol together.
If you work with your friend, keep it light while you're at work. Don't seek comfort about issues with your spouse or partner while at work.
If you're single, don’t create a "friends with benefits" situation. Sex complicates friendships, particularly if one person is hoping it will turn into a relationship.
1-5. Appreciate your friendship.
Flirting or developing romantic interest could take away the many benefits the two of you are experiencing in your friendship. Remind yourself that:
Your male friend can give you perspectives and insights you might not get from female friends.
Your male friend can meet your needs of belonging and connection.
Your male friend may provide you the freedom to not talk about feelings as much as you might with your female friends. You may also give your male friend a safer space to share feelings if he wants to.
2. Addressing Your Friend’s Interest
2-1. Talk through each other’s feelings.
Hopefully you're in a male-female friendship in which being more than friends isn't an issue, whether because you're just not attracted to each other or because you're in other relationships; however, if it’s not clear to both of you that you’re just friends, you’ll need to directly talk through how each of you sees the relationship.
Acknowledge that it’s easy to confuse feelings of being close to and loving a friend with thinking you may be romantically interested. The lines can be easily blurred.
Ask him directly how he feels, particularly if you’ve noticed any interest or flirting on his part. You may say, “I really value our friendship and enjoy your company. I only want us to be friends, but I’m worried you’re feeling differently. How do you feel about that?”
2-2. Listen to his response.
He may not really be interested in you, or he may acknowledge that he has been attracted to you or flirting with you. Whatever his response, listen with respect and empathy. Listening is essential if you want to understand each other and maintain your friendship. Hear his concerns, avoid interrupting him, and try not to judge.
2-3. Be clear.
If your friend is interested in you, you can let him down easily by acknowledging his feelings, being brief, and being honest. Don't change your feelings just to please him.
Acknowledge your friend’s feelings and thank him for being vulnerable. You can say, “It sounds like you’re interested in me and I really appreciate your honesty about that.”
Make your point gently and clearly about wanting to stay just friends. You can say, “I like you as a friend and want to keep our friendship the way it is.”
2-4. End the conversation on a positive note.
Once you've established your feelings, help your friend feel more comfortable. Acknowledge the awkwardness, compliment him, and express hope in the strength of your friendship.
You could say, “I know this is awkward, but we’ve been friends for a long time. You’re an awesome guy and I know we’ll bounce back from this.”
Keep in mind to give him time if he needs it. If he was truly interested in you, he may need some time and space to process the rejection.
3. Maintaining the Friendship
3-1. Ignore other people.
A lot of other people in your life may question your friendship with your friend. You’ll probably get asked if you’re really just friends or get encouragement to flirt with and/or date your friend. Other people may judge you or think that sex will be inevitable between the two of you.
Do not entertain rumors from other people.
Shut down any questions from people about when you're going to get together or date.
3-2. Keep communication open.
Be willing to share and listen to your friend. Your male friend may not enjoy the same depth of friendship with his male friends that he does with you. To keep enjoying a good friendship, provide a space in which your friend feels supported, accepted, and respected. Keep being encouraging of your friend.
3-3. Acknowledge any sexual tension.
Sexual tension is a normal part of male-female friendships, but it isn’t inevitable. Recognize when it’s happening for you and avoid acting on it. Setting good boundaries with your friend can help keep sexual tension at bay.
Avoid situations in which you’re inhibited by alcohol with your friend.
Pay attention to signals or hints that your male friend wants something more or is waiting for something more. Notice suggestive language, physical contact, and tune into your own comfort level and gut feelings as an internal signal that things are becoming less friendly and more romantic.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Enjoying a Male-Female Friendship\\n1-1. Show you care in non-romantic ways.\\nBe a good friend, but avoid giving him the wrong idea that you care more than you really do. Keep it simple and relaxed. Do things for him that you'd do for any other friend you have. You might try to:\\nDistract him by going out for pizza if he's had a difficult day.\\nHelp him move or pack when he needs it.\\nCheck-in occasionally to ask how he's doing if you live far away from each other.\\nHelp him brainstorm solutions to any problems he's having, like how to deal with a difficult boss or professor.\\nIntroduce him to your other friends or people he could date.\\n1-2. Give friendly compliments.\\nBe just as encouraging to your male friend as you would to your female friends. Show your support by smiling at him, giving him pep-talks, and boosting his mood.\\nAvoid complimenting his physical appearance to avoid awkwardness, confusion, or mixed signals.\\nShow your appreciation or gratitude. You could say, \\\"Thank you so much for listening to me about that problem at school. Your point of view was really helpful!\\\"\\nBuild up his strength when he is having difficulty. Don't be fake or invalidate his feelings or experience, but do be honest that you think well of him and believe in him. You might say, \\\"I hear that it's tough for you right now. That really sucks. But just know that you're strong and I think you're going to make it through this.\\\"\\n1-3. Avoid flirtatious touching.\\nA normal friendship may consist of touching or hugging. But touch can be a powerful way to flirt, so be careful how you touch your friend. You can still give him a goodbye hug or an innocent high five, but avoid sending mixed signals with prolonged or intimate touching.\\nAvoid touching your friend’s arms or face.\\nAvoid lingering hugs with full body contact.\\nDon’t give your friend massages or shoulder rubs.\\nAvoid cuddling or putting your arm around your friend.\\nRealize that some people may be flirty without realizing it.\\n1-4. Set clear boundaries\\nIt will be much easier to maintain a friendship if you have rules. Think of each other more as siblings. Spend time doing activities that are non-romantic in nature.\\nIf you're married or dating someone else, avoid sharing secrets or talking about intimate things with this friend that you wouldn’t share with your spouse or partner, too.\\nIf you regularly travel with your friend for leisure or work, avoid sharing hotel rooms, sharing romantic meals, and drinking too much alcohol together.\\nIf you work with your friend, keep it light while you're at work. Don't seek comfort about issues with your spouse or partner while at work.\\nIf you're single, don’t create a \\\"friends with benefits\\\" situation. Sex complicates friendships, particularly if one person is hoping it will turn into a relationship.\\n1-5. Appreciate your friendship.\\nFlirting or developing romantic interest could take away the many benefits the two of you are experiencing in your friendship. Remind yourself that:\\nYour male friend can give you perspectives and insights you might not get from female friends.\\nYour male friend can meet your needs of belonging and connection.\\nYour male friend may provide you the freedom to not talk about feelings as much as you might with your female friends. You may also give your male friend a safer space to share feelings if he wants to.\\n2. Addressing Your Friend’s Interest\\n2-1. Talk through each other’s feelings.\\nHopefully you're in a male-female friendship in which being more than friends isn't an issue, whether because you're just not attracted to each other or because you're in other relationships; however, if it’s not clear to both of you that you’re just friends, you’ll need to directly talk through how each of you sees the relationship.\\nAcknowledge that it’s easy to confuse feelings of being close to and loving a friend with thinking you may be romantically interested. The lines can be easily blurred.\\nAsk him directly how he feels, particularly if you’ve noticed any interest or flirting on his part. You may say, “I really value our friendship and enjoy your company. I only want us to be friends, but I’m worried you’re feeling differently. How do you feel about that?”\\n2-2. Listen to his response.\\nHe may not really be interested in you, or he may acknowledge that he has been attracted to you or flirting with you. Whatever his response, listen with respect and empathy. Listening is essential if you want to understand each other and maintain your friendship. Hear his concerns, avoid interrupting him, and try not to judge.\\n2-3. Be clear.\\nIf your friend is interested in you, you can let him down easily by acknowledging his feelings, being brief, and being honest. Don't change your feelings just to please him.\\nAcknowledge your friend’s feelings and thank him for being vulnerable. You can say, “It sounds like you’re interested in me and I really appreciate your honesty about that.”\\nMake your point gently and clearly about wanting to stay just friends. You can say, “I like you as a friend and want to keep our friendship the way it is.”\\n2-4. End the conversation on a positive note.\\nOnce you've established your feelings, help your friend feel more comfortable. Acknowledge the awkwardness, compliment him, and express hope in the strength of your friendship.\\nYou could say, “I know this is awkward, but we’ve been friends for a long time. You’re an awesome guy and I know we’ll bounce back from this.”\\nKeep in mind to give him time if he needs it. If he was truly interested in you, he may need some time and space to process the rejection.\\n3. Maintaining the Friendship\\n3-1. Ignore other people.\\nA lot of other people in your life may question your friendship with your friend. You’ll probably get asked if you’re really just friends or get encouragement to flirt with and/or date your friend. Other people may judge you or think that sex will be inevitable between the two of you.\\nDo not entertain rumors from other people.\\nShut down any questions from people about when you're going to get together or date.\\n3-2. Keep communication open.\\nBe willing to share and listen to your friend. Your male friend may not enjoy the same depth of friendship with his male friends that he does with you. To keep enjoying a good friendship, provide a space in which your friend feels supported, accepted, and respected. Keep being encouraging of your friend.\\n3-3. Acknowledge any sexual tension.\\nSexual tension is a normal part of male-female friendships, but it isn’t inevitable. Recognize when it’s happening for you and avoid acting on it. Setting good boundaries with your friend can help keep sexual tension at bay.\\nAvoid situations in which you’re inhibited by alcohol with your friend.\\nPay attention to signals or hints that your male friend wants something more or is waiting for something more. Notice suggestive language, physical contact, and tune into your own comfort level and gut feelings as an internal signal that things are becoming less friendly and more romantic.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're a female who has a male friend, you'll want to avoid doing anything that might remotely resemble flirting. You still want to be nice and friendly with him, so it can be a difficult balance not to send him mixed signals. If you can be friendly in non-intimate ways, set good boundaries, and take advantage of the benefits of male-female friendships, you'll be able to successfully avoid flirting. You might also need to address any feelings your friend has for you, address sexual tension, and keep communication open.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoying a Male-Female Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show you care in non-romantic ways.\", \"描述\": \"Be a good friend, but avoid giving him the wrong idea that you care more than you really do. Keep it simple and relaxed. Do things for him that you'd do for any other friend you have. You might try to:\\nDistract him by going out for pizza if he's had a difficult day.\\nHelp him move or pack when he needs it.\\nCheck-in occasionally to ask how he's doing if you live far away from each other.\\nHelp him brainstorm solutions to any problems he's having, like how to deal with a difficult boss or professor.\\nIntroduce him to your other friends or people he could date.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give friendly compliments.\", \"描述\": \"Be just as encouraging to your male friend as you would to your female friends. Show your support by smiling at him, giving him pep-talks, and boosting his mood.\\nAvoid complimenting his physical appearance to avoid awkwardness, confusion, or mixed signals.\\nShow your appreciation or gratitude. You could say, \\\"Thank you so much for listening to me about that problem at school. Your point of view was really helpful!\\\"\\nBuild up his strength when he is having difficulty. Don't be fake or invalidate his feelings or experience, but do be honest that you think well of him and believe in him. You might say, \\\"I hear that it's tough for you right now. That really sucks. But just know that you're strong and I think you're going to make it through this.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid flirtatious touching.\", \"描述\": \"A normal friendship may consist of touching or hugging. But touch can be a powerful way to flirt, so be careful how you touch your friend. You can still give him a goodbye hug or an innocent high five, but avoid sending mixed signals with prolonged or intimate touching.\\nAvoid touching your friend’s arms or face.\\nAvoid lingering hugs with full body contact.\\nDon’t give your friend massages or shoulder rubs.\\nAvoid cuddling or putting your arm around your friend.\\nRealize that some people may be flirty without realizing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set clear boundaries\", \"描述\": \"It will be much easier to maintain a friendship if you have rules. Think of each other more as siblings. Spend time doing activities that are non-romantic in nature.\\nIf you're married or dating someone else, avoid sharing secrets or talking about intimate things with this friend that you wouldn’t share with your spouse or partner, too.\\nIf you regularly travel with your friend for leisure or work, avoid sharing hotel rooms, sharing romantic meals, and drinking too much alcohol together.\\nIf you work with your friend, keep it light while you're at work. Don't seek comfort about issues with your spouse or partner while at work.\\nIf you're single, don’t create a \\\"friends with benefits\\\" situation. Sex complicates friendships, particularly if one person is hoping it will turn into a relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Appreciate your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"Flirting or developing romantic interest could take away the many benefits the two of you are experiencing in your friendship. Remind yourself that:\\nYour male friend can give you perspectives and insights you might not get from female friends.\\nYour male friend can meet your needs of belonging and connection.\\nYour male friend may provide you the freedom to not talk about feelings as much as you might with your female friends. You may also give your male friend a safer space to share feelings if he wants to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Addressing Your Friend’s Interest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk through each other’s feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Hopefully you're in a male-female friendship in which being more than friends isn't an issue, whether because you're just not attracted to each other or because you're in other relationships; however, if it’s not clear to both of you that you’re just friends, you’ll need to directly talk through how each of you sees the relationship.\\nAcknowledge that it’s easy to confuse feelings of being close to and loving a friend with thinking you may be romantically interested. The lines can be easily blurred.\\nAsk him directly how he feels, particularly if you’ve noticed any interest or flirting on his part. You may say, “I really value our friendship and enjoy your company. I only want us to be friends, but I’m worried you’re feeling differently. How do you feel about that?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to his response.\", \"描述\": \"He may not really be interested in you, or he may acknowledge that he has been attracted to you or flirting with you. Whatever his response, listen with respect and empathy. Listening is essential if you want to understand each other and maintain your friendship. Hear his concerns, avoid interrupting him, and try not to judge.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be clear.\", \"描述\": \"If your friend is interested in you, you can let him down easily by acknowledging his feelings, being brief, and being honest. Don't change your feelings just to please him.\\nAcknowledge your friend’s feelings and thank him for being vulnerable. You can say, “It sounds like you’re interested in me and I really appreciate your honesty about that.”\\nMake your point gently and clearly about wanting to stay just friends. You can say, “I like you as a friend and want to keep our friendship the way it is.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"End the conversation on a positive note.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've established your feelings, help your friend feel more comfortable. Acknowledge the awkwardness, compliment him, and express hope in the strength of your friendship.\\nYou could say, “I know this is awkward, but we’ve been friends for a long time. You’re an awesome guy and I know we’ll bounce back from this.”\\nKeep in mind to give him time if he needs it. If he was truly interested in you, he may need some time and space to process the rejection.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ignore other people.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of other people in your life may question your friendship with your friend. You’ll probably get asked if you’re really just friends or get encouragement to flirt with and/or date your friend. Other people may judge you or think that sex will be inevitable between the two of you.\\nDo not entertain rumors from other people.\\nShut down any questions from people about when you're going to get together or date.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep communication open.\", \"描述\": \"Be willing to share and listen to your friend. Your male friend may not enjoy the same depth of friendship with his male friends that he does with you. To keep enjoying a good friendship, provide a space in which your friend feels supported, accepted, and respected. Keep being encouraging of your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge any sexual tension.\", \"描述\": \"Sexual tension is a normal part of male-female friendships, but it isn’t inevitable. Recognize when it’s happening for you and avoid acting on it. Setting good boundaries with your friend can help keep sexual tension at bay.\\nAvoid situations in which you’re inhibited by alcohol with your friend.\\nPay attention to signals or hints that your male friend wants something more or is waiting for something more. Notice suggestive language, physical contact, and tune into your own comfort level and gut feelings as an internal signal that things are becoming less friendly and more romantic.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,993 | How to Be Nice to a Mean Person | 1. Keep your voice calm.
Your calm tone can encourage someone to adjust their own attitude.
If you feel yourself getting worked up, try to at least keep your tone neutral. It’s no wonder why you might feel a little stressed when someone is being mean to you. However, if your goal is to be nice to them, try not to yell, and don’t snap at them when you’re talking.
2. Take a deep breath.
This can help you stay calm and feel more relaxed.
When you’re talking to a mean person and they start to get to you, take a deep breath in through your nose. Slowly let it out through your mouth and try to calm your body and your mind.
If you’re feeling stressed or worked up after talking to a mean person, take a deep breath in and count to 10 before letting it out.
3. Listen to what they have to say.
Listening is a good way to calm someone down and make them feel heard.
Try not to brush them off right away, even if they’re being rude. Even mean people have points to make sometimes, they just might not know how to say it nicely. Try to interpret their words as best you can instead of ignoring them outright.
You can try saying something like, “So what you’re saying is…” to make sure you understand what they mean.
4. Look into their eyes as they talk.
It’s much harder to be mean to someone when they make eye contact.
When you’re chatting with someone who’s generally a little cranky, try to catch their eye and hold it. Usually, you’ll notice that they won’t be as rude as usual if you keep eye contact the whole time.
5. Try to see things from their perspective.
Think about what might be affecting their mood.
Maybe they’re having a bad day, or maybe they’ve had a tough life. If you can put yourself in their shoes, you might be able to have a little more compassion and understanding for them, which can lead to being nicer.
You might never fully understand mean people, and that’s okay. Give them the benefit of the doubt to maintain your sanity and make the world seem a little more kind.
6. Ask yourself if you’re misinterpreting things.
Sometimes, we take things the wrong way.
If you’re chatting with a friend or coworker and they say something mean, pause and ask yourself if you’re misinterpreting them. Their tone of voice or their words might have sounded mean in the moment, but it could be that they didn’t intend to sound that way.
For instance, maybe a friend says, “You’re so weird.” Are they actually being mean, or are they calling you weird as a term of endearment?
Or, maybe a colleague tells you, “You need to have those reports done by the end of the day.” They might have sounded mean to you, but actually, they were just telling you the facts so that you don’t get in trouble.
7. Have a few friends nearby.
A support system can really help dampen the blow of a mean person.
If you know you’re going to be interacting with someone who’s rude, ask a few friends or coworkers to stay beside you while you do it. Hopefully, they can help you ward off mean comments and exit the situation as fast as possible.
You won’t always have the chance to bring a buddy along when you encounter a rude person, but when you can, it really helps!
8. Focus on what you can control.
You can’t change their words, but you can change your reaction.
Keep your mind on your responses, and try to focus on your own actions. That way, you’ll feel a little more in control of the situation.
For instance, after a mean comment, you might think, “Wow, I could really make a nasty remark back right now. But, I’m going to be the bigger person and just laugh that one off.”
If a stranger was rude to you, just remember that's all they are—a stranger. Their words and actions have no bearing on your life.
9. Try to see the humor in it.
Turning their meanness into a joke can help you handle it better.
If they make a mean comment, try thinking about the funny way they phrased it. Or, think about how much effort it must take them to find the negative in every situation. If you can laugh it off a little, you can let their comments roll off your back.
You can even respond to their mean comments with something funny! For instance, if they say something like, “I hate that shirt you’re wearing,” you might say, “Wow, I didn’t know you were so involved in the fashion world. Got any more tips for me?”
10. Call out their mean behavior.
Sometimes, a mean person is just too much to handle.
If you’ve been putting up with rude comments or quips for a while now, you’re well within your rights to ask the person to stop. You can either call them out in the moment or have a private conversation with them later letting them know you don’t appreciate their behavior.
To call them out in the moment, try something like, “Hey, that wasn’t very nice.”
If a friend was mean to you, calmly explain how it made you feel. You might say, "What you said really upset me, but I value our friendship. Can we talk about making sure this doesn't happen again?"
11. Try not to overextend yourself.
Being nice to a mean person can be draining.
If you’re finding it too hard to kill them with kindness, you can always try to distance yourself from them as much as possible. Keep your interactions short and walk away as soon as you can so that you don’t have to talk to them often.
Just try not to stoop down to their level and start making mean comments back. This probably won’t make you feel any better, and it can make your relationship with this person much worse.
Tips
It's important to pick your battles. Even if someone is being mean to you and you know it's unjust and wrong, sometimes you need to just brush it off and move along.[14]
X
Expert Source
Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keep your voice calm.\\nYour calm tone can encourage someone to adjust their own attitude.\\nIf you feel yourself getting worked up, try to at least keep your tone neutral. It’s no wonder why you might feel a little stressed when someone is being mean to you. However, if your goal is to be nice to them, try not to yell, and don’t snap at them when you’re talking.\\n2. Take a deep breath.\\nThis can help you stay calm and feel more relaxed.\\nWhen you’re talking to a mean person and they start to get to you, take a deep breath in through your nose. Slowly let it out through your mouth and try to calm your body and your mind.\\nIf you’re feeling stressed or worked up after talking to a mean person, take a deep breath in and count to 10 before letting it out.\\n3. Listen to what they have to say.\\nListening is a good way to calm someone down and make them feel heard.\\nTry not to brush them off right away, even if they’re being rude. Even mean people have points to make sometimes, they just might not know how to say it nicely. Try to interpret their words as best you can instead of ignoring them outright.\\nYou can try saying something like, “So what you’re saying is…” to make sure you understand what they mean.\\n4. Look into their eyes as they talk.\\nIt’s much harder to be mean to someone when they make eye contact.\\nWhen you’re chatting with someone who’s generally a little cranky, try to catch their eye and hold it. Usually, you’ll notice that they won’t be as rude as usual if you keep eye contact the whole time.\\n5. Try to see things from their perspective.\\nThink about what might be affecting their mood.\\nMaybe they’re having a bad day, or maybe they’ve had a tough life. If you can put yourself in their shoes, you might be able to have a little more compassion and understanding for them, which can lead to being nicer.\\nYou might never fully understand mean people, and that’s okay. Give them the benefit of the doubt to maintain your sanity and make the world seem a little more kind.\\n6. Ask yourself if you’re misinterpreting things.\\nSometimes, we take things the wrong way.\\nIf you’re chatting with a friend or coworker and they say something mean, pause and ask yourself if you’re misinterpreting them. Their tone of voice or their words might have sounded mean in the moment, but it could be that they didn’t intend to sound that way.\\nFor instance, maybe a friend says, “You’re so weird.” Are they actually being mean, or are they calling you weird as a term of endearment?\\nOr, maybe a colleague tells you, “You need to have those reports done by the end of the day.” They might have sounded mean to you, but actually, they were just telling you the facts so that you don’t get in trouble.\\n7. Have a few friends nearby.\\nA support system can really help dampen the blow of a mean person.\\nIf you know you’re going to be interacting with someone who’s rude, ask a few friends or coworkers to stay beside you while you do it. Hopefully, they can help you ward off mean comments and exit the situation as fast as possible.\\nYou won’t always have the chance to bring a buddy along when you encounter a rude person, but when you can, it really helps!\\n8. Focus on what you can control.\\nYou can’t change their words, but you can change your reaction.\\nKeep your mind on your responses, and try to focus on your own actions. That way, you’ll feel a little more in control of the situation.\\nFor instance, after a mean comment, you might think, “Wow, I could really make a nasty remark back right now. But, I’m going to be the bigger person and just laugh that one off.”\\nIf a stranger was rude to you, just remember that's all they are—a stranger. Their words and actions have no bearing on your life.\\n9. Try to see the humor in it.\\nTurning their meanness into a joke can help you handle it better.\\nIf they make a mean comment, try thinking about the funny way they phrased it. Or, think about how much effort it must take them to find the negative in every situation. If you can laugh it off a little, you can let their comments roll off your back.\\nYou can even respond to their mean comments with something funny! For instance, if they say something like, “I hate that shirt you’re wearing,” you might say, “Wow, I didn’t know you were so involved in the fashion world. Got any more tips for me?”\\n10. Call out their mean behavior.\\nSometimes, a mean person is just too much to handle.\\nIf you’ve been putting up with rude comments or quips for a while now, you’re well within your rights to ask the person to stop. You can either call them out in the moment or have a private conversation with them later letting them know you don’t appreciate their behavior.\\nTo call them out in the moment, try something like, “Hey, that wasn’t very nice.”\\nIf a friend was mean to you, calmly explain how it made you feel. You might say, \\\"What you said really upset me, but I value our friendship. Can we talk about making sure this doesn't happen again?\\\"\\n11. Try not to overextend yourself.\\nBeing nice to a mean person can be draining.\\nIf you’re finding it too hard to kill them with kindness, you can always try to distance yourself from them as much as possible. Keep your interactions short and walk away as soon as you can so that you don’t have to talk to them often.\\nJust try not to stoop down to their level and start making mean comments back. This probably won’t make you feel any better, and it can make your relationship with this person much worse.\\nTips\\nIt's important to pick your battles. Even if someone is being mean to you and you know it's unjust and wrong, sometimes you need to just brush it off and move along.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nTami ClaytorEtiquette Coach\\nExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’re forced to deal with a mean person, it can be a little jarring when they talk down to you or make mean comments. However, killing them with kindness can actually make you feel better, and it could improve the way you two interact in the future. We’ve compiled a comprehensive list of ways you can be nice to a mean person, even when you’re caught off guard by their behavior.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your voice calm.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your calm tone can encourage someone to adjust their own attitude.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel yourself getting worked up, try to at least keep your tone neutral. It’s no wonder why you might feel a little stressed when someone is being mean to you. However, if your goal is to be nice to them, try not to yell, and don’t snap at them when you’re talking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This can help you stay calm and feel more relaxed.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re talking to a mean person and they start to get to you, take a deep breath in through your nose. Slowly let it out through your mouth and try to calm your body and your mind.\\nIf you’re feeling stressed or worked up after talking to a mean person, take a deep breath in and count to 10 before letting it out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to what they have to say.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listening is a good way to calm someone down and make them feel heard.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to brush them off right away, even if they’re being rude. Even mean people have points to make sometimes, they just might not know how to say it nicely. Try to interpret their words as best you can instead of ignoring them outright.\\nYou can try saying something like, “So what you’re saying is…” to make sure you understand what they mean.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look into their eyes as they talk.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s much harder to be mean to someone when they make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re chatting with someone who’s generally a little cranky, try to catch their eye and hold it. Usually, you’ll notice that they won’t be as rude as usual if you keep eye contact the whole time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to see things from their perspective.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about what might be affecting their mood.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe they’re having a bad day, or maybe they’ve had a tough life. If you can put yourself in their shoes, you might be able to have a little more compassion and understanding for them, which can lead to being nicer.\\nYou might never fully understand mean people, and that’s okay. Give them the benefit of the doubt to maintain your sanity and make the world seem a little more kind.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if you’re misinterpreting things.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes, we take things the wrong way.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re chatting with a friend or coworker and they say something mean, pause and ask yourself if you’re misinterpreting them. Their tone of voice or their words might have sounded mean in the moment, but it could be that they didn’t intend to sound that way.\\nFor instance, maybe a friend says, “You’re so weird.” Are they actually being mean, or are they calling you weird as a term of endearment?\\nOr, maybe a colleague tells you, “You need to have those reports done by the end of the day.” They might have sounded mean to you, but actually, they were just telling you the facts so that you don’t get in trouble.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have a few friends nearby.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A support system can really help dampen the blow of a mean person.\", \"描述\": \"If you know you’re going to be interacting with someone who’s rude, ask a few friends or coworkers to stay beside you while you do it. Hopefully, they can help you ward off mean comments and exit the situation as fast as possible.\\nYou won’t always have the chance to bring a buddy along when you encounter a rude person, but when you can, it really helps!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Focus on what you can control.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can’t change their words, but you can change your reaction.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your mind on your responses, and try to focus on your own actions. That way, you’ll feel a little more in control of the situation.\\nFor instance, after a mean comment, you might think, “Wow, I could really make a nasty remark back right now. But, I’m going to be the bigger person and just laugh that one off.”\\nIf a stranger was rude to you, just remember that's all they are—a stranger. Their words and actions have no bearing on your life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Try to see the humor in it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Turning their meanness into a joke can help you handle it better.\", \"描述\": \"If they make a mean comment, try thinking about the funny way they phrased it. Or, think about how much effort it must take them to find the negative in every situation. If you can laugh it off a little, you can let their comments roll off your back.\\nYou can even respond to their mean comments with something funny! For instance, if they say something like, “I hate that shirt you’re wearing,” you might say, “Wow, I didn’t know you were so involved in the fashion world. Got any more tips for me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Call out their mean behavior.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes, a mean person is just too much to handle.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve been putting up with rude comments or quips for a while now, you’re well within your rights to ask the person to stop. You can either call them out in the moment or have a private conversation with them later letting them know you don’t appreciate their behavior.\\nTo call them out in the moment, try something like, “Hey, that wasn’t very nice.”\\nIf a friend was mean to you, calmly explain how it made you feel. You might say, \\\"What you said really upset me, but I value our friendship. Can we talk about making sure this doesn't happen again?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Try not to overextend yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being nice to a mean person can be draining.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re finding it too hard to kill them with kindness, you can always try to distance yourself from them as much as possible. Keep your interactions short and walk away as soon as you can so that you don’t have to talk to them often.\\nJust try not to stoop down to their level and start making mean comments back. This probably won’t make you feel any better, and it can make your relationship with this person much worse.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It's important to pick your battles. Even if someone is being mean to you and you know it's unjust and wrong, sometimes you need to just brush it off and move along.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nTami ClaytorEtiquette Coach\\nExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,994 | How to Be Nice to an Ex | 1. Processing Your Emotions
1-1. Deal with your feelings.
Before you can be nice to your ex, you will have to address any feelings you have about the relationship or about your ex. It will be difficult for you to be nice if you still resent your ex for something they did or if you are still hurt from the breakup.
Write in your journal about how you honestly feel about your ex and the relationship. For example, you might write, “I’m over her and the relationship. I’m happy with my new love and just want to be cordial with my ex.”
Admit to yourself if you still have feelings that might make being nice to your ex difficult. For example, if you are still angry at your ex for cheating on you, then being nice may take a lot of effort.
1-2. Examine your motives.
In some situations, like when children are involved, being nice to an ex is almost necessary. Other times it’s simply your choice. Determine if you want to be nice to your ex simply because you are a nice person, or if you have an underlying motive for your actions. It may be harder you to be genuinely nice if you know that you are only being nice to reach a secret goal.
Ask yourself if you are being nice because you are secretly trying to get back together. Ask yourself if that’s really a good idea.
Are you wanting to be nice to your ex just to prove to them that you are over them (even though you aren’t)?
Trying to prove that you have moved on by being nice can backfire, especially if doing so causes your ex to do or say something to upset you.
Do you want to be nice because you truly are over the relationship and just want to be polite and considerate?
1-3. Give yourself time.
Being nice is generally a good thing. But, immediately after the breakup and for some time after it, it may be too painful for one or both of you to even be in the same room without problems. If you give yourself (and your ex) time, however, you will be able to be nice your ex.
Don’t feel like you have to be nice if you aren’t ready to. It’s okay to give yourself time to get over your ex before trying to be pleasant.
Make sure to take plenty of time to work through the anger, hurt, abandonment, broken promises, pain, and any other feelings you have towards them. It is important for you to learn how to live without depending on the other person. Spend time with friends and family and work on building these connections. After some time has passed, you may even be able to have a friendship with your ex.
1-4. Practice calming techniques.
These strategies can help you acknowledge and process your emotions. Practicing calming techniques can also help prepare you for your interactions with your ex. If you become stressed when you see your ex, you will already know how to calm yourself down.
Strategies like deep breathing can calm you so that you can work through the emotions that you feel about your ex.
Other strategies like mindfulness meditation can help you work through your emotions and calm you down in a stressful situation.
Focus on your emotions and how your body is feeling when you’re using mindfulness techniques. Don’t resist what you’re feeling. Just allow it to pass.
2. Handling Interactions with Your Ex
2-1. Keep interactions as brief as possible.
It will be much easier to be nice to an ex if you don’t spend more time than necessary together. Remember, you aren’t trying to get back together. You’re just trying to be nice and deal with any mutual-responsibility. Keep conversations as short as possible. Be polite, courteous, and on topic. Flirting or complaining about things that aren't relevant are not required.
Greet your ex when you see them unexpectedly, but avoid extended conversations.
For example, you might say hello when you see your ex at the local café. But, you don’t need to sit down and have an hour-long talk. A simple greeting would be alright, but anything more than a few sentences is unnecessary.
If, and when, you do need to have longer interactions, be polite, but stick to talking about the topic at hand.
For instance, if both of you are working on a project together, selling the house you bought together, or working out custody issues, you can politely talk about the topic, but limit the conversation to that.
2-2. Set boundaries.
Although you want to be nice to your ex, you also have to set some limits to your kindness. Without boundaries you could find yourself in an awkward situation, or even back in your old relationship.
It’s okay to ask your ex how they are doing, but it’s crossing the line to talk about your old relationship or who each of you is dating now.
For example, it’s alright to say, “Hello, Alicia. How have you been?” But, it’s too much to add, “Are you dating anyone right now?”
Don’t allow your ex to take advantage of you or treat you badly because you are trying to be nice.
For example, you shouldn’t be picking up their weekly dry-cleaning or washing their car.
Make sure that the things you are doing and saying to be nice aren’t beyond the scope of casual friends, caring parents or acquaintances.
For example, saying ‘hi’ to your ex when they enter the room is being nice. Saying ‘hi’, saving them a seat, and copying your notes for them is too much.
2-3. Stay calm.
Even though you want to be nice to your ex, they may still do or say things that upset you, even if they don’t mean to. Instead of losing your cool, stay calm and remind yourself that you are trying to be nice.
For instance, if you see your ex out with their new love, don’t explode or burst into tears (right then). Calmly say a nice hello to them both and then walk away.
You could smile and say, “Hi, Tasha. Hi, Marie” and then continue on your way.
For example, if you ask your ex how they are doing and they respond, “I was fine until I saw you”, then take a deep breath and remain calm.
You could then politely say goodbye and walk away. For instance, you might say, “Oh, okay. Have a nice day then.”
2-4. Ask for support.
Depending on the situation, you may want to have someone close to you around when you interact with your ex. Having someone there for support can make it easier for you to be nice to an ex by diffusing any tension and offering you encouragement.
For instance, if your ex dumped you and want to punch him, you might ask your friend to go with you to get your belongings from your ex.
You could ask your friend, “Would you mind going with me to pick up my stuff from Ron?”
Or, for example, if you know your ex will be at a party and don’t know if you can handle seeing them, then ask someone to join you.
You might say, “Brittany is going to be at this party. Could you come with me for moral support?”
3. Being Nice in Awkward Situations
3-1. Maintain your maturity around your children or younger extended family.
Being respectful and polite to your ex when you are in the presence of your, or any, children is within the best interest of the children. Being mean to your ex will not only make you feel bad, but can also upset the kids. So be nice to your ex when you are around children.
Avoid saying mean or hurtful things about your ex to your children. It can confuse them and cause them emotional stress.
If you and your ex are having a disagreement then calmly end it until the children aren’t around.
For example, you might say, “This is a conversation we should have a later time when we both can speak freely.”
3-2. Keep your composure around your ex’s new love.
Seeing your ex with their new love can be difficult to handle. You may feel hurt or angry, but don’t let it show. Any response other than being nice will make your ex think you aren’t over them.
Maintain your composure, keep the encounter short, smile, and then move along.
For example, if you see them at the grocery store, don’t run and hide behind the soda display.
While you are walking to the checkout, smile, say hello, then pay for groceries and leave.
3-3. Prepare for repeated interactions.
In some situations you may have to see your ex on a regular basis. For example, you might have class together, have the same work place, or have to drop off children for visits and stays. Thinking about how you will handle these situations in advance will make it easier for you to be nice.
Think positive thoughts before you see your ex to get yourself in a generally happy and friendly mood.
Plan a way to limit the interactions you do have with your ex.
For example, you could arrive to class exactly on time so you don’t have an opportunity to do anything other than smile at your ex.
Tips
Don't be angry if they don't wish to speak with you. If they don't appreciate the fact your offering your friendship then just deal with the fact. Life moves on.
Don't reiterate or complain about your relationship together, just forgive and start things from a new perspective.
Don't be nervous about being close or actually speaking to them. They’re your ex, but they are also only human.
Warnings
Be prepared for some difficult situations. Your ex may push you away at times and may have moved on.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Processing Your Emotions\\n1-1. Deal with your feelings.\\nBefore you can be nice to your ex, you will have to address any feelings you have about the relationship or about your ex. It will be difficult for you to be nice if you still resent your ex for something they did or if you are still hurt from the breakup.\\nWrite in your journal about how you honestly feel about your ex and the relationship. For example, you might write, “I’m over her and the relationship. I’m happy with my new love and just want to be cordial with my ex.”\\nAdmit to yourself if you still have feelings that might make being nice to your ex difficult. For example, if you are still angry at your ex for cheating on you, then being nice may take a lot of effort.\\n1-2. Examine your motives.\\nIn some situations, like when children are involved, being nice to an ex is almost necessary. Other times it’s simply your choice. Determine if you want to be nice to your ex simply because you are a nice person, or if you have an underlying motive for your actions. It may be harder you to be genuinely nice if you know that you are only being nice to reach a secret goal.\\nAsk yourself if you are being nice because you are secretly trying to get back together. Ask yourself if that’s really a good idea.\\nAre you wanting to be nice to your ex just to prove to them that you are over them (even though you aren’t)?\\nTrying to prove that you have moved on by being nice can backfire, especially if doing so causes your ex to do or say something to upset you.\\nDo you want to be nice because you truly are over the relationship and just want to be polite and considerate?\\n1-3. Give yourself time.\\nBeing nice is generally a good thing. But, immediately after the breakup and for some time after it, it may be too painful for one or both of you to even be in the same room without problems. If you give yourself (and your ex) time, however, you will be able to be nice your ex.\\nDon’t feel like you have to be nice if you aren’t ready to. It’s okay to give yourself time to get over your ex before trying to be pleasant.\\nMake sure to take plenty of time to work through the anger, hurt, abandonment, broken promises, pain, and any other feelings you have towards them. It is important for you to learn how to live without depending on the other person. Spend time with friends and family and work on building these connections. After some time has passed, you may even be able to have a friendship with your ex.\\n1-4. Practice calming techniques.\\nThese strategies can help you acknowledge and process your emotions. Practicing calming techniques can also help prepare you for your interactions with your ex. If you become stressed when you see your ex, you will already know how to calm yourself down.\\nStrategies like deep breathing can calm you so that you can work through the emotions that you feel about your ex.\\nOther strategies like mindfulness meditation can help you work through your emotions and calm you down in a stressful situation.\\nFocus on your emotions and how your body is feeling when you’re using mindfulness techniques. Don’t resist what you’re feeling. Just allow it to pass.\\n2. Handling Interactions with Your Ex\\n2-1. Keep interactions as brief as possible.\\nIt will be much easier to be nice to an ex if you don’t spend more time than necessary together. Remember, you aren’t trying to get back together. You’re just trying to be nice and deal with any mutual-responsibility. Keep conversations as short as possible. Be polite, courteous, and on topic. Flirting or complaining about things that aren't relevant are not required.\\nGreet your ex when you see them unexpectedly, but avoid extended conversations.\\nFor example, you might say hello when you see your ex at the local café. But, you don’t need to sit down and have an hour-long talk. A simple greeting would be alright, but anything more than a few sentences is unnecessary.\\nIf, and when, you do need to have longer interactions, be polite, but stick to talking about the topic at hand.\\nFor instance, if both of you are working on a project together, selling the house you bought together, or working out custody issues, you can politely talk about the topic, but limit the conversation to that.\\n2-2. Set boundaries.\\nAlthough you want to be nice to your ex, you also have to set some limits to your kindness. Without boundaries you could find yourself in an awkward situation, or even back in your old relationship.\\nIt’s okay to ask your ex how they are doing, but it’s crossing the line to talk about your old relationship or who each of you is dating now.\\nFor example, it’s alright to say, “Hello, Alicia. How have you been?” But, it’s too much to add, “Are you dating anyone right now?”\\nDon’t allow your ex to take advantage of you or treat you badly because you are trying to be nice.\\nFor example, you shouldn’t be picking up their weekly dry-cleaning or washing their car.\\nMake sure that the things you are doing and saying to be nice aren’t beyond the scope of casual friends, caring parents or acquaintances.\\nFor example, saying ‘hi’ to your ex when they enter the room is being nice. Saying ‘hi’, saving them a seat, and copying your notes for them is too much.\\n2-3. Stay calm.\\nEven though you want to be nice to your ex, they may still do or say things that upset you, even if they don’t mean to. Instead of losing your cool, stay calm and remind yourself that you are trying to be nice.\\nFor instance, if you see your ex out with their new love, don’t explode or burst into tears (right then). Calmly say a nice hello to them both and then walk away.\\nYou could smile and say, “Hi, Tasha. Hi, Marie” and then continue on your way.\\nFor example, if you ask your ex how they are doing and they respond, “I was fine until I saw you”, then take a deep breath and remain calm.\\nYou could then politely say goodbye and walk away. For instance, you might say, “Oh, okay. Have a nice day then.”\\n2-4. Ask for support.\\nDepending on the situation, you may want to have someone close to you around when you interact with your ex. Having someone there for support can make it easier for you to be nice to an ex by diffusing any tension and offering you encouragement.\\nFor instance, if your ex dumped you and want to punch him, you might ask your friend to go with you to get your belongings from your ex.\\nYou could ask your friend, “Would you mind going with me to pick up my stuff from Ron?”\\nOr, for example, if you know your ex will be at a party and don’t know if you can handle seeing them, then ask someone to join you.\\nYou might say, “Brittany is going to be at this party. Could you come with me for moral support?”\\n3. Being Nice in Awkward Situations\\n3-1. Maintain your maturity around your children or younger extended family.\\nBeing respectful and polite to your ex when you are in the presence of your, or any, children is within the best interest of the children. Being mean to your ex will not only make you feel bad, but can also upset the kids. So be nice to your ex when you are around children.\\nAvoid saying mean or hurtful things about your ex to your children. It can confuse them and cause them emotional stress.\\nIf you and your ex are having a disagreement then calmly end it until the children aren’t around.\\nFor example, you might say, “This is a conversation we should have a later time when we both can speak freely.”\\n3-2. Keep your composure around your ex’s new love.\\nSeeing your ex with their new love can be difficult to handle. You may feel hurt or angry, but don’t let it show. Any response other than being nice will make your ex think you aren’t over them.\\nMaintain your composure, keep the encounter short, smile, and then move along.\\nFor example, if you see them at the grocery store, don’t run and hide behind the soda display.\\nWhile you are walking to the checkout, smile, say hello, then pay for groceries and leave.\\n3-3. Prepare for repeated interactions.\\nIn some situations you may have to see your ex on a regular basis. For example, you might have class together, have the same work place, or have to drop off children for visits and stays. Thinking about how you will handle these situations in advance will make it easier for you to be nice.\\nThink positive thoughts before you see your ex to get yourself in a generally happy and friendly mood.\\nPlan a way to limit the interactions you do have with your ex.\\nFor example, you could arrive to class exactly on time so you don’t have an opportunity to do anything other than smile at your ex.\\nTips\\nDon't be angry if they don't wish to speak with you. If they don't appreciate the fact your offering your friendship then just deal with the fact. Life moves on.\\nDon't reiterate or complain about your relationship together, just forgive and start things from a new perspective.\\nDon't be nervous about being close or actually speaking to them. They’re your ex, but they are also only human.\\nWarnings\\nBe prepared for some difficult situations. Your ex may push you away at times and may have moved on.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A breakup can be difficult no matter what the situation. Both or either of you may have negative feelings that you still need to work through. You may feel like you’ll never be able to be around your ex without it being a problem. But, unless one of you moves to a different city, eventually you will have to interact with your ex again, especially if you have children. You can be nice to your ex when you do have to interact. First, process your emotions. Then appropriately handle your interactions and awkward situations with your ex.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Processing Your Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deal with your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can be nice to your ex, you will have to address any feelings you have about the relationship or about your ex. It will be difficult for you to be nice if you still resent your ex for something they did or if you are still hurt from the breakup.\\nWrite in your journal about how you honestly feel about your ex and the relationship. For example, you might write, “I’m over her and the relationship. I’m happy with my new love and just want to be cordial with my ex.”\\nAdmit to yourself if you still have feelings that might make being nice to your ex difficult. For example, if you are still angry at your ex for cheating on you, then being nice may take a lot of effort.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Examine your motives.\", \"描述\": \"In some situations, like when children are involved, being nice to an ex is almost necessary. Other times it’s simply your choice. Determine if you want to be nice to your ex simply because you are a nice person, or if you have an underlying motive for your actions. It may be harder you to be genuinely nice if you know that you are only being nice to reach a secret goal.\\nAsk yourself if you are being nice because you are secretly trying to get back together. Ask yourself if that’s really a good idea.\\nAre you wanting to be nice to your ex just to prove to them that you are over them (even though you aren’t)?\\nTrying to prove that you have moved on by being nice can backfire, especially if doing so causes your ex to do or say something to upset you.\\nDo you want to be nice because you truly are over the relationship and just want to be polite and considerate?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time.\", \"描述\": \"Being nice is generally a good thing. But, immediately after the breakup and for some time after it, it may be too painful for one or both of you to even be in the same room without problems. If you give yourself (and your ex) time, however, you will be able to be nice your ex.\\nDon’t feel like you have to be nice if you aren’t ready to. It’s okay to give yourself time to get over your ex before trying to be pleasant.\\nMake sure to take plenty of time to work through the anger, hurt, abandonment, broken promises, pain, and any other feelings you have towards them. It is important for you to learn how to live without depending on the other person. Spend time with friends and family and work on building these connections. After some time has passed, you may even be able to have a friendship with your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice calming techniques.\", \"描述\": \"These strategies can help you acknowledge and process your emotions. Practicing calming techniques can also help prepare you for your interactions with your ex. If you become stressed when you see your ex, you will already know how to calm yourself down.\\nStrategies like deep breathing can calm you so that you can work through the emotions that you feel about your ex.\\nOther strategies like mindfulness meditation can help you work through your emotions and calm you down in a stressful situation.\\nFocus on your emotions and how your body is feeling when you’re using mindfulness techniques. Don’t resist what you’re feeling. Just allow it to pass.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Handling Interactions with Your Ex\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep interactions as brief as possible.\", \"描述\": \"It will be much easier to be nice to an ex if you don’t spend more time than necessary together. Remember, you aren’t trying to get back together. You’re just trying to be nice and deal with any mutual-responsibility. Keep conversations as short as possible. Be polite, courteous, and on topic. Flirting or complaining about things that aren't relevant are not required.\\nGreet your ex when you see them unexpectedly, but avoid extended conversations.\\nFor example, you might say hello when you see your ex at the local café. But, you don’t need to sit down and have an hour-long talk. A simple greeting would be alright, but anything more than a few sentences is unnecessary.\\nIf, and when, you do need to have longer interactions, be polite, but stick to talking about the topic at hand.\\nFor instance, if both of you are working on a project together, selling the house you bought together, or working out custody issues, you can politely talk about the topic, but limit the conversation to that.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Although you want to be nice to your ex, you also have to set some limits to your kindness. Without boundaries you could find yourself in an awkward situation, or even back in your old relationship.\\nIt’s okay to ask your ex how they are doing, but it’s crossing the line to talk about your old relationship or who each of you is dating now.\\nFor example, it’s alright to say, “Hello, Alicia. How have you been?” But, it’s too much to add, “Are you dating anyone right now?”\\nDon’t allow your ex to take advantage of you or treat you badly because you are trying to be nice.\\nFor example, you shouldn’t be picking up their weekly dry-cleaning or washing their car.\\nMake sure that the things you are doing and saying to be nice aren’t beyond the scope of casual friends, caring parents or acquaintances.\\nFor example, saying ‘hi’ to your ex when they enter the room is being nice. Saying ‘hi’, saving them a seat, and copying your notes for them is too much.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you want to be nice to your ex, they may still do or say things that upset you, even if they don’t mean to. Instead of losing your cool, stay calm and remind yourself that you are trying to be nice.\\nFor instance, if you see your ex out with their new love, don’t explode or burst into tears (right then). Calmly say a nice hello to them both and then walk away.\\nYou could smile and say, “Hi, Tasha. Hi, Marie” and then continue on your way.\\nFor example, if you ask your ex how they are doing and they respond, “I was fine until I saw you”, then take a deep breath and remain calm.\\nYou could then politely say goodbye and walk away. For instance, you might say, “Oh, okay. Have a nice day then.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for support.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the situation, you may want to have someone close to you around when you interact with your ex. Having someone there for support can make it easier for you to be nice to an ex by diffusing any tension and offering you encouragement.\\nFor instance, if your ex dumped you and want to punch him, you might ask your friend to go with you to get your belongings from your ex.\\nYou could ask your friend, “Would you mind going with me to pick up my stuff from Ron?”\\nOr, for example, if you know your ex will be at a party and don’t know if you can handle seeing them, then ask someone to join you.\\nYou might say, “Brittany is going to be at this party. Could you come with me for moral support?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Nice in Awkward Situations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain your maturity around your children or younger extended family.\", \"描述\": \"Being respectful and polite to your ex when you are in the presence of your, or any, children is within the best interest of the children. Being mean to your ex will not only make you feel bad, but can also upset the kids. So be nice to your ex when you are around children.\\nAvoid saying mean or hurtful things about your ex to your children. It can confuse them and cause them emotional stress.\\nIf you and your ex are having a disagreement then calmly end it until the children aren’t around.\\nFor example, you might say, “This is a conversation we should have a later time when we both can speak freely.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your composure around your ex’s new love.\", \"描述\": \"Seeing your ex with their new love can be difficult to handle. You may feel hurt or angry, but don’t let it show. Any response other than being nice will make your ex think you aren’t over them.\\nMaintain your composure, keep the encounter short, smile, and then move along.\\nFor example, if you see them at the grocery store, don’t run and hide behind the soda display.\\nWhile you are walking to the checkout, smile, say hello, then pay for groceries and leave.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prepare for repeated interactions.\", \"描述\": \"In some situations you may have to see your ex on a regular basis. For example, you might have class together, have the same work place, or have to drop off children for visits and stays. Thinking about how you will handle these situations in advance will make it easier for you to be nice.\\nThink positive thoughts before you see your ex to get yourself in a generally happy and friendly mood.\\nPlan a way to limit the interactions you do have with your ex.\\nFor example, you could arrive to class exactly on time so you don’t have an opportunity to do anything other than smile at your ex.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't be angry if they don't wish to speak with you. If they don't appreciate the fact your offering your friendship then just deal with the fact. Life moves on.\\n\", \"Don't reiterate or complain about your relationship together, just forgive and start things from a new perspective.\\n\", \"Don't be nervous about being close or actually speaking to them. They’re your ex, but they are also only human.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be prepared for some difficult situations. Your ex may push you away at times and may have moved on.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,995 | How to Be Nicer to Your Mom | 1. Keeping an Open Dialogue
1-1. Speak honestly about any issues that you have.
If you feel like any problems are making you harbor resentment towards your mom, make an effort to clear the air. Try and find a time when you’re both available to talk so you can have a conversation without any distractions. Be as straightforward as possible when addressing her, as she might be completely unaware of how you’re feeling.
For example, say something like: “Mom, you really hurt my feelings when you made a comment about my grades the other day. I know that you just want me to do my best, but the way you spoke to me made me feel really down on myself.”
1-2. Don’t make harmful assumptions about your mother.
While it can be easy to jump to negative conclusions without knowing the full story, avoid making any rash judgments about your mother’s thoughts or intentions. Instead, confront your mom directly and tactfully about whatever is on your mind. If the conversation gets heated, remind your mom that you just want to understand the scenario from her point of view.
For instance, if your mom goes on a weekend trip without you, don’t assume that she’s leaving you behind intentionally. She might just want to spend some quality time catching up with her friends.
1-3. Try to view situations from her perspective.
Take a step back from any potential argument or conflict and envision the scenario from your mom’s point of view. When you put yourself in your mother’s shoes, you can view the situation empathetically without needing to say anything hurtful.
For example, if your mom gets upset with you for breaking curfew, take a moment to think about her current thoughts and feelings before snapping back at her. Realistically, she was likely worried that something had happened to you when you didn’t come home on time.
1-4. Acknowledge that you both won’t agree on everything.
Remind your mom that you both have different opinions and viewpoints, and will likely disagree on these issues indefinitely. Instead of turning these topics into perpetual arguments, take a moment to address your differences. When you make an effort to agree to disagree, you’re actually preserving civility and mutual respect in your relationship.
For instance, if you and your mom have different political views, acknowledge immediately that you both might never find common political ground.
To keep your conversations peaceful, specify a few topics that are off-limits to prevent your discussions from turning into fully-fledged arguments.
1-5. Pay attention to your mom whenever she speaks to you.
Don’t ignore your mom when she’s trying to have a meaningful conversation. While it’s easier to tune her out sometimes, you’re actually telling your mom that her time and presence aren’t valuable to you. Instead, make an effort to set aside what you’re doing and make eye contact with your mother whenever she tries to start a conversation.
For example, if you’re in the middle of a project and your mom wants to talk about her day, set the project aside for a few minutes and listen to your mom. A listening ear is always a great way to be nice and supportive to another person.
If your mom didn't have the best day, you can offer your support and validate what she's going through.
2. Developing Kind Habits
2-1. Compliment your mom on her best qualities.
Take time out of your day to remind your mom about what makes her special. If you want, you can opt for physical compliments, like the way she styles her hair or dresses for work. If you’d prefer to say something more heartfelt, think about her personal qualities and temperament.
For instance, if your mom is always polite and courteous on the phone, be sure to comment on it! Say something like: “You’re always so kind to the people around you. You brighten up everyone’s day just by being there!”
2-2. Thank your mom for everything she’s done for you.
Whenever you get the chance, tell your mom how much you appreciate what she does for you. Express gratitude for whatever your mom does around your home to make your things run a little smoother, even if it’s just a simple, spontaneous “thank you.”
For example, if you see your mom taking a moment to replace a faulty part in the bathroom, be sure to thank her! Say something like: “Thank you so much for replacing the flapper on the toilet. I really appreciate everything you do around the house.”
If you see her spending a lot of time preparing a meal or raking the yard, make sure to comment on it!
2-3. Take some time to ask your mom about her day.
When your mom gets home from work, ask her how her day went. Instead of talking about the day overall, inquire about the best and worst moments. If you want to delve a little deeper, feel free to ask her how today was when compared to the day before.
2-4. Help your mom out with daily household chores.
Don’t be a bystander while your mom does work around your home. Whether she stays at home or serves as the family breadwinner, offer a helping hand with different chores. If you’ve just finished a family dinner, go clear the table and wash the dishes instead of waiting for your mom to do it.
Besides making your own household run more smoothly, you’ll be making your mom’s life a little less stressful, too!
3. Giving Her Gifts
3-1. Bake
Take a moment out of your day to prepare your mom’s favorite dessert or pastry. Even if it’s not a special occasion, set aside some time to do something completely selfless. It may not be the healthiest option, but you show just how much you care about your mom in the process!
If both you and your mom have busy schedules, consider picking up a dessert from a bakery or store.
3-2. Spend time doing a craft or service project together.
Decide on a goal or project that you’d like to tackle with your mom. Whether you’re bettering your own life or the lives of others, you’re demonstrating kindness to your mom by spending so much time with her.
See if she’d be interested in going on a volunteer missions or service trip with you.
If your yard is really messy, try asking your mom if she’d like to rake outside with you.
3-3. Frame a picture
Find a picture that highlights a really positive memory of you and your mom, whether it’s a family vacation pic or a spur-of the moment selfie. Place the picture in a custom frame and give it to your mom on a random day. You can also use the gift as a way to tell your mom how much you appreciate her!
You can find custom picture frames at craft stores, or purchase them online.
3-4. Cook a meal for her as a nice surprise.
Pick a random day when your mom is especially busy to prepare a nice meal for her. Think of what some of her favorite foods are and try to include them into menu. Even if your mom isn’t in charge of cooking around your home, you can still brighten up her day with this nice gesture!
If you don’t have time to make food, try ordering take-out instead.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping an Open Dialogue\\n1-1. Speak honestly about any issues that you have.\\nIf you feel like any problems are making you harbor resentment towards your mom, make an effort to clear the air. Try and find a time when you’re both available to talk so you can have a conversation without any distractions. Be as straightforward as possible when addressing her, as she might be completely unaware of how you’re feeling.\\nFor example, say something like: “Mom, you really hurt my feelings when you made a comment about my grades the other day. I know that you just want me to do my best, but the way you spoke to me made me feel really down on myself.”\\n1-2. Don’t make harmful assumptions about your mother.\\nWhile it can be easy to jump to negative conclusions without knowing the full story, avoid making any rash judgments about your mother’s thoughts or intentions. Instead, confront your mom directly and tactfully about whatever is on your mind. If the conversation gets heated, remind your mom that you just want to understand the scenario from her point of view.\\nFor instance, if your mom goes on a weekend trip without you, don’t assume that she’s leaving you behind intentionally. She might just want to spend some quality time catching up with her friends.\\n1-3. Try to view situations from her perspective.\\nTake a step back from any potential argument or conflict and envision the scenario from your mom’s point of view. When you put yourself in your mother’s shoes, you can view the situation empathetically without needing to say anything hurtful.\\nFor example, if your mom gets upset with you for breaking curfew, take a moment to think about her current thoughts and feelings before snapping back at her. Realistically, she was likely worried that something had happened to you when you didn’t come home on time.\\n1-4. Acknowledge that you both won’t agree on everything.\\nRemind your mom that you both have different opinions and viewpoints, and will likely disagree on these issues indefinitely. Instead of turning these topics into perpetual arguments, take a moment to address your differences. When you make an effort to agree to disagree, you’re actually preserving civility and mutual respect in your relationship.\\nFor instance, if you and your mom have different political views, acknowledge immediately that you both might never find common political ground.\\nTo keep your conversations peaceful, specify a few topics that are off-limits to prevent your discussions from turning into fully-fledged arguments.\\n1-5. Pay attention to your mom whenever she speaks to you.\\nDon’t ignore your mom when she’s trying to have a meaningful conversation. While it’s easier to tune her out sometimes, you’re actually telling your mom that her time and presence aren’t valuable to you. Instead, make an effort to set aside what you’re doing and make eye contact with your mother whenever she tries to start a conversation.\\nFor example, if you’re in the middle of a project and your mom wants to talk about her day, set the project aside for a few minutes and listen to your mom. A listening ear is always a great way to be nice and supportive to another person.\\nIf your mom didn't have the best day, you can offer your support and validate what she's going through.\\n2. Developing Kind Habits\\n2-1. Compliment your mom on her best qualities.\\nTake time out of your day to remind your mom about what makes her special. If you want, you can opt for physical compliments, like the way she styles her hair or dresses for work. If you’d prefer to say something more heartfelt, think about her personal qualities and temperament.\\nFor instance, if your mom is always polite and courteous on the phone, be sure to comment on it! Say something like: “You’re always so kind to the people around you. You brighten up everyone’s day just by being there!”\\n2-2. Thank your mom for everything she’s done for you.\\nWhenever you get the chance, tell your mom how much you appreciate what she does for you. Express gratitude for whatever your mom does around your home to make your things run a little smoother, even if it’s just a simple, spontaneous “thank you.”\\nFor example, if you see your mom taking a moment to replace a faulty part in the bathroom, be sure to thank her! Say something like: “Thank you so much for replacing the flapper on the toilet. I really appreciate everything you do around the house.”\\nIf you see her spending a lot of time preparing a meal or raking the yard, make sure to comment on it!\\n2-3. Take some time to ask your mom about her day.\\nWhen your mom gets home from work, ask her how her day went. Instead of talking about the day overall, inquire about the best and worst moments. If you want to delve a little deeper, feel free to ask her how today was when compared to the day before.\\n2-4. Help your mom out with daily household chores.\\nDon’t be a bystander while your mom does work around your home. Whether she stays at home or serves as the family breadwinner, offer a helping hand with different chores. If you’ve just finished a family dinner, go clear the table and wash the dishes instead of waiting for your mom to do it.\\nBesides making your own household run more smoothly, you’ll be making your mom’s life a little less stressful, too!\\n3. Giving Her Gifts\\n3-1. Bake\\nTake a moment out of your day to prepare your mom’s favorite dessert or pastry. Even if it’s not a special occasion, set aside some time to do something completely selfless. It may not be the healthiest option, but you show just how much you care about your mom in the process!\\nIf both you and your mom have busy schedules, consider picking up a dessert from a bakery or store.\\n3-2. Spend time doing a craft or service project together.\\nDecide on a goal or project that you’d like to tackle with your mom. Whether you’re bettering your own life or the lives of others, you’re demonstrating kindness to your mom by spending so much time with her.\\nSee if she’d be interested in going on a volunteer missions or service trip with you.\\nIf your yard is really messy, try asking your mom if she’d like to rake outside with you.\\n3-3. Frame a picture\\nFind a picture that highlights a really positive memory of you and your mom, whether it’s a family vacation pic or a spur-of the moment selfie. Place the picture in a custom frame and give it to your mom on a random day. You can also use the gift as a way to tell your mom how much you appreciate her!\\nYou can find custom picture frames at craft stores, or purchase them online.\\n3-4. Cook a meal for her as a nice surprise.\\nPick a random day when your mom is especially busy to prepare a nice meal for her. Think of what some of her favorite foods are and try to include them into menu. Even if your mom isn’t in charge of cooking around your home, you can still brighten up her day with this nice gesture!\\nIf you don’t have time to make food, try ordering take-out instead.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Even though you love your mom, it can be difficult to stay on good terms all the time. Whether you’re struggling to keep the peace or looking to extend an olive branch after an argument, there are several ways you can be nicer to your mom and possibly iron out some wrinkles in your relationship. First, try to keep an open dialogue with her whenever you feel unhappy or uneasy about anything. Next, keep things positive by developing kind habits around your home, like giving out compliments or words of gratitude. Finally, you can be nicer by showering your mom with small gifts, including your attention and time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping an Open Dialogue\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak honestly about any issues that you have.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like any problems are making you harbor resentment towards your mom, make an effort to clear the air. Try and find a time when you’re both available to talk so you can have a conversation without any distractions. Be as straightforward as possible when addressing her, as she might be completely unaware of how you’re feeling.\\nFor example, say something like: “Mom, you really hurt my feelings when you made a comment about my grades the other day. I know that you just want me to do my best, but the way you spoke to me made me feel really down on myself.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t make harmful assumptions about your mother.\", \"描述\": \"While it can be easy to jump to negative conclusions without knowing the full story, avoid making any rash judgments about your mother’s thoughts or intentions. Instead, confront your mom directly and tactfully about whatever is on your mind. If the conversation gets heated, remind your mom that you just want to understand the scenario from her point of view.\\nFor instance, if your mom goes on a weekend trip without you, don’t assume that she’s leaving you behind intentionally. She might just want to spend some quality time catching up with her friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to view situations from her perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Take a step back from any potential argument or conflict and envision the scenario from your mom’s point of view. When you put yourself in your mother’s shoes, you can view the situation empathetically without needing to say anything hurtful.\\nFor example, if your mom gets upset with you for breaking curfew, take a moment to think about her current thoughts and feelings before snapping back at her. Realistically, she was likely worried that something had happened to you when you didn’t come home on time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge that you both won’t agree on everything.\", \"描述\": \"Remind your mom that you both have different opinions and viewpoints, and will likely disagree on these issues indefinitely. Instead of turning these topics into perpetual arguments, take a moment to address your differences. When you make an effort to agree to disagree, you’re actually preserving civility and mutual respect in your relationship.\\nFor instance, if you and your mom have different political views, acknowledge immediately that you both might never find common political ground.\\nTo keep your conversations peaceful, specify a few topics that are off-limits to prevent your discussions from turning into fully-fledged arguments.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your mom whenever she speaks to you.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t ignore your mom when she’s trying to have a meaningful conversation. While it’s easier to tune her out sometimes, you’re actually telling your mom that her time and presence aren’t valuable to you. Instead, make an effort to set aside what you’re doing and make eye contact with your mother whenever she tries to start a conversation.\\nFor example, if you’re in the middle of a project and your mom wants to talk about her day, set the project aside for a few minutes and listen to your mom. A listening ear is always a great way to be nice and supportive to another person.\\nIf your mom didn't have the best day, you can offer your support and validate what she's going through.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Kind Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment your mom on her best qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Take time out of your day to remind your mom about what makes her special. If you want, you can opt for physical compliments, like the way she styles her hair or dresses for work. If you’d prefer to say something more heartfelt, think about her personal qualities and temperament.\\nFor instance, if your mom is always polite and courteous on the phone, be sure to comment on it! Say something like: “You’re always so kind to the people around you. You brighten up everyone’s day just by being there!”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thank your mom for everything she’s done for you.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you get the chance, tell your mom how much you appreciate what she does for you. Express gratitude for whatever your mom does around your home to make your things run a little smoother, even if it’s just a simple, spontaneous “thank you.”\\nFor example, if you see your mom taking a moment to replace a faulty part in the bathroom, be sure to thank her! Say something like: “Thank you so much for replacing the flapper on the toilet. I really appreciate everything you do around the house.”\\nIf you see her spending a lot of time preparing a meal or raking the yard, make sure to comment on it!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take some time to ask your mom about her day.\", \"描述\": \"When your mom gets home from work, ask her how her day went. Instead of talking about the day overall, inquire about the best and worst moments. If you want to delve a little deeper, feel free to ask her how today was when compared to the day before.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help your mom out with daily household chores.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be a bystander while your mom does work around your home. Whether she stays at home or serves as the family breadwinner, offer a helping hand with different chores. If you’ve just finished a family dinner, go clear the table and wash the dishes instead of waiting for your mom to do it.\\nBesides making your own household run more smoothly, you’ll be making your mom’s life a little less stressful, too!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Giving Her Gifts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bake\", \"描述\": \"Take a moment out of your day to prepare your mom’s favorite dessert or pastry. Even if it’s not a special occasion, set aside some time to do something completely selfless. It may not be the healthiest option, but you show just how much you care about your mom in the process!\\nIf both you and your mom have busy schedules, consider picking up a dessert from a bakery or store.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time doing a craft or service project together.\", \"描述\": \"Decide on a goal or project that you’d like to tackle with your mom. Whether you’re bettering your own life or the lives of others, you’re demonstrating kindness to your mom by spending so much time with her.\\nSee if she’d be interested in going on a volunteer missions or service trip with you.\\nIf your yard is really messy, try asking your mom if she’d like to rake outside with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Frame a picture\", \"描述\": \"Find a picture that highlights a really positive memory of you and your mom, whether it’s a family vacation pic or a spur-of the moment selfie. Place the picture in a custom frame and give it to your mom on a random day. You can also use the gift as a way to tell your mom how much you appreciate her!\\nYou can find custom picture frames at craft stores, or purchase them online.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Cook a meal for her as a nice surprise.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a random day when your mom is especially busy to prepare a nice meal for her. Think of what some of her favorite foods are and try to include them into menu. Even if your mom isn’t in charge of cooking around your home, you can still brighten up her day with this nice gesture!\\nIf you don’t have time to make food, try ordering take-out instead.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,996 | How to Be Nocturnal | 1. Staying Up All Night
1-1. Train yourself gradually.
It’s difficult to switch straight from a normal sun-driven schedule to one in which you’re sleeping while the rest of the world is awake. Doing this will likely just leave you completely sleep deprived, since you’ll force yourself to stay up all night and you won’t be able to sleep well during the day. Instead, gradually start staying up later each night and sleeping in later in the morning. Push the times back more and more, and in a week or so you won’t have as much trouble waking and sleeping when you want to.
The first night of training, stay up as late as you can without forcing yourself. Stay awake until you feel like you can’t keep your eyes open a moment longer, then go to sleep. Don’t set an alarm, and block the windows so you won’t wake up with the sun. Sleep as late as you can, then wake up and go about your day.
The next night, try to stay up an hour later than you did the night before, and in the morning, sleep an extra hour.
Continue this process until you’re falling asleep and rising when you want to.
1-2. Keep your mind occupied.
Staying up at night is a lot easier when you’re doing activities that keep your brain engaged. Watching shows or movies can be helpful, although many are known to fall asleep midway through an episode. Try something that keeps you active, like reading a book or playing video games.
Some find that they feel more creative at night. Try working on an art project, making music, or writing an essay in the middle of the night. Try not to go to sleep until you’re at a good stopping point. You probably won’t even notice when the sun begins to rise.
1-3. Exercise at night.
This is a sure way to get your blood rushing and make you feel more alert and awake instead of sleepy. Go for a night run or a brisk walk. The fresh air will wake you up, too. If you don’t want to go outside, do sets of crunches, situps or pullups in your house to keep yourself awake.
Taking a shower after you work out, preferably a cool one, will also help keep you from falling asleep.
If you don’t like to exercise, just stick your head outside and take several deep breaths of air when you’re feeling tired. The temperature difference will make your body wake up.
1-4. Eat a meal.
Your body will wake up a little in order to start digesting the food you take in. Cook a meal and eat it in the middle of the night. Don’t fall back on a typical midnight snack, like a peanut butter sandwich or pizza, because these are foods your mind already associates with late night eating. Instead, cook a meal you’d normally eat during the day, like poached salmon, spinach and couscous. Drink a big glass of cold water as well.
1-5. Play music.
If you don’t share your home with people who would like to be able to sleep in peace, put on some loud, fast music to get your body moving. Choose music that makes you want to get up and dance or sing along, instead of music that puts you to sleep. If you’re concerned about waking people up, use headphones.
1-6. Talk to other people who are awake.
Have you ever had one of those late night phone sessions with a friend that keeps both of you up until dawn? Talking with someone else is very stimulating, and it’s one of the best ways to keep yourself awake. If you have a friend who’s also trying to stay up all night and sleep during the day, schedule phone conversations to keep each other entertained.
If you don’t know anyone else who’s trying to be nocturnal, use a chat program to get in touch with someone living in another time zone where everyone’s awake. If you’re chatting with someone who lives in a place where it’s daytime, you’ll be able to wake right up.
1-7. Shop at stores that are open all night.
Getting out of the house and walking around can help you feel more awake and normal at night. If you know of a store or a diner that’s always open, consider going there to hang out and shop or eat for a few hours. This is usually easier to do in a city where there are other people looking for spots to hang out at night.
Make sure you stay in safe, well-lit areas when you go out at night. Since fewer people will be out and about, it’s important to be aware of your surroundings and mindful of your safety. Bring a cell phone with you and tell someone where you’re going.
1-8. Use caffeine carefully.
Caffeine is a stimulant that provides an excellent pick-me-up for a few hours, and it’s great in a pinch when you need to pull a one-off all-nighter. However, if your goal is to become permanently (or semi-permanently) nocturnal, you shouldn’t fall back on caffeine as your tool for staying awake. Having a lot of caffeine in your system will make it more difficult to get to sleep during the day, and it’s important that you sleep when you can so you don’t deprive your body of rest.
The same goes for energy drinks that contain other types of stimulants. It’s better to gradually train your body to stay awake instead of forcing it using artificial means.
2. Resting During the Day
2-1. Use blackout curtains.
When your body senses the sun has come up, it’s a lot harder to get to sleep. The slightest bit of sun peeking out from around the edges of your blinds will cause your body to become more alert. If you want to be able to sleep during the day, invest in blackout curtains. They’re so sturdy and opaque, they block out all sunlight. When the sun comes up, you’ll have no idea that it’s daytime.
If you don’t want to buy a set of blackout curtains, get very dark, heavy drapes or cover your windows with thick, dark-colored blankets.
Using a sleeping mask to block out light is also helpful if you don’t mind sleeping with something on your face.
2-2. Block out sounds, too.
As the rest of the world wakes, they’ll start making all kinds of noises: the sound of a garbage truck barreling down the street, the neighbor calling his dog, your roommate’s microwave opening and closing. To defend against the onslaught of morning sounds, you’ll need a good pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones.
If you don’t like wearing items on your head while you sleep, try using a white noise machine. These machines produce low, quiet sounds to which your ears quickly grow accustomed, and they block out the other more annoying sounds that might enter your room.
2-3. Try melatonin.
This is a chemical the brain produces to put the body to sleep. Melatonin pills are a natural sleep aid that can help your body rest if you have trouble sleeping during the day. Unlike regular sleeping pills, they don’t have addictive properties and won’t leave you groggy when you wake up.
If you’re interested in taking stronger sleeping pills that use synthetic chemicals to put the body to sleep, it’s best to discuss this with your doctor first. This is especially important if you have to drive or go to work upon waking.
2-4. Eat breakfast when you wake up.
Even if you wake up at 6:00 in the evening, eat breakfast foods. This will signal to your brain and body that it’s the beginning of your day. If you eat lunch or dinner foods, you’ll be sending different signals. Follow the normal morning routine you’d have if you woke up at 8:00 am. Put on a pot of coffee or tea and enjoy your typical breakfast.
2-5. Tell people not to disturb you.
If you’re quite serious about following a nocturnal schedule, tell the people in your life not to disturb you during the day unless it’s an emergency. Let them know that it’s very important for you to sleep during the day, because otherwise you’ll end up sleep deprived.
You’ll need to set up a schedule that works for your family so they have no need to disturb you. For example, if your children will be coming home from school during the time you’re supposed to be asleep, have a plan in place for them to go to after school care or stay with someone until you wake up.
3. Keeping Your Body Healthy
3-1. Stick to a schedule.
If you’re planning on staying nocturnal for a while, it’s important to stick with a steady schedule. Go to bed at the same time of day and rise at the same time, too. If you don’t, your sleep schedule will end up all over the place, and that can wreak havoc on your health.
After you’ve gradually gotten accustomed to your schedule, stick with it the same way you would a regular schedule. Set your alarm and try to go to bed on time.
When you’re ready to go back to a normal day/night schedule, do it gradually.
3-2. Get vitamin D.
Staying inside during the day means you won’t be exposed to the sun’s healthy rays. Sure, too much sun is a bad thing, but too little sun is actually worse. When you don’t get exposed to any sun, your body doesn’t produce vitamin D, which is essential to healthy bone growth and other natural functions.
Try to arrange your schedule so that you get at least a little sun exposure during the daylight.
You may want to get a sun lamp to stimulate vitamin D production if you’re getting very little sun.
3-3. Be careful operating machinery.
When you adopt a nocturnal schedule, you’re going against your body’s natural rhythms. You’re always going to be a little sleepier and less sharp than you’d be if you had a normal day/night schedule. For this reason, it’s important to be careful operating machinery, including a car, while you’re still getting used to being awake all night. Stay as alert as possible, especially while you’re at work.
4. Choosing a Long-Term Nocturnal Lifestyle
4-1. Decide if being nocturnal will enhance your life.
There are many reasons for going nocturnal, but they need to resonate with who you are and the life you'd like to lead. The disadvantages of going nocturnal should be weighed when considering it as a way of life. You won't be around when most people are awake, so that means missing out on a lot of social activities. You'll also be underexposed to vitamin D, which could negatively affect your health. However, the benefits of going nocturnal are numerous:
There are fewer people around during the night, which can be great for a number of reasons.
It can be a creatively productive time if you are naturally a night owl. People will not be emailing you with demands, so you will not be interrupted.
You'll be the life of the party because you'll be more refreshed than all the people knocking off a day's work. You might even join the ranks of the "professional night owls" who live to party in the best nightclubs in town.
It's a chance to connect with interesting people also staying up all night, including night owls, vampire fans, social moths, and people who just can't get off the internet late at night.
Your house won't seem as messy. Human vision is terrible at night. Even with the lights on, it is harder to see the dust and fluff bunnies. You won't need to clean half as hard!
Another thing to consider is being nocturnal seasonally or for a set period rather than all year long. This can be useful during a special season like summertime when the nights are lovely, during a vacation season and so on. You can be available to pursue whatever interests happen to coincide with your need to stay up all night.
4-2. Find a job or lifestyle that allows you to have a nocturnal lifestyle.
If you're serious about making this a long-term commitment, you'll need to find a job that allows you to sleep during the day and stay awake at night. If you plan to stay nocturnal as a long-term or permanent change, you'll need to be able to work around the things that are usually done during the day.
Shift work will allow you to continue working during the night. There are many different possibilities for shift work, including loading and transporting goods, security and policing, monitoring facilities, night-fill in supermarkets, hotel reception work, fishing, cleaning, journalists, highway work, and so on. Even sports can be played at night; a recent study showed that morning larks made better morning pitchers, while night owls made better evening pitchers.
Work from home. If you are a blogger, online marketer, eBay seller, writer, artist, etc., who can work from home, set up your own routine as befits your work.
Studies will be harder, but if you are taking classes online, you can study this whenever you like. For university, get recordings of lectures, or ask friends for notes. You will have problems with missing tutorials that require attendance for grades, so try to schedule evening tutorials.
4-3. Connect with other nocturnals or night owls.
Find other people who love the night more than the day, from geeks and gamers, to creative types and mystics. Try to connect with people who have the same love of the night as you. Be aware that this is going to be more likely in a large urban environment like New York, Tokyo, or Sydney than anywhere else – cities that never sleep.
In New York City, you can connect with other like-minded night owls through the New York Night Owls, a weekly meet-up of hardworking night owls which keeps the hours 10pm – 4am. The idea has also caught on in London, and may be coming to a location near you anytime soon!
Look for cafes and other meeting places that court night owls and don't throw you out after midnight. Again, these are more likely to exist in large urban environments but if there isn't one near you, consider creating a home network with fellow nocturnals so you can drop in on each other and have a cup of something and brainstorm creatively together in the deep of the night.
Use social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook to connect with other nocturnals in your area: check the location status so that you know you're talking to a night owl and not a lark in a city on the other side of the world!
4-4. Pay attention to your mental health.
Be aware that while it has been claimed recently that night owls are more intelligent than their morning lark counterparts, being a night owl can impact your mental health negatively. If you find yourself experiencing mental challenges, such as depression, you might want to reconsider your night owl behaviors. Seek advice from your doctor if you're worried.
Be sure to get sufficient vitamin D. You will need a little regular sunshine daily.
4-5. Revert to your diurnal self.
If you want to be back to your normal diurnal self again, it's easy. Just stay up all night and then keep yourself awake all day the next day. When the sun comes up and lights up the sky with beautiful colors, you should feel peaceful with that moon still hanging in the sky, it will give you a wonderful fresh, waken-up feeling for the day. The time it takes to get back into the usual rhythm will depend on your personality, activities, and how sleep deprived you're feeling.
Tips
Note that this will be easier if you're naturally a night owl personality.[5]
X
Research source
Find the stores that keep your hours so you can get your usual grocery and other shopping done with ease.
Give yourself a fresh start in the evening by taking a shower, getting dressed and ready for the night, eating a hearty waking up meal, and getting some fresh air outside by exercising - hop on a bike or go for a jog while it's still light or twilight.
Warnings
Avoid caffeine unless you know you can drink it and still sleep during the daytime. Daytime sleep is much more prone to distractions and you're much more likely to be woken up, causing possible sleep deprivation challenges.
If you are afraid of the dark, being nocturnal can be confronting. Then again, it might just be a way to overcome such a fear.
Other family members, spouse or partner and friends might not like your nocturnal habits. Keep other people's wishes in mind. If you are single and fancy-free, being nocturnal is easier than if you're married and have kids in tow, although shift work can justify a nocturnal lifestyle.
"Shift work malaise" is a well known condition that brings about mood disorders, tiredness, an inability to concentrate, and broken sleep.
Get sunshine regularly. Vitamin D is important for our health, as is being exposed to light for growth and good health.
Doing this can cause you to lose your job or flunk your studies. Students can get lecture notes off other students, but goodwill only extends so far!
This is not the normal pattern for humans but we have the ability to override our usual circadian rhythm; investigate the potential health consequences if planning to do this long-term. Shift worker studies will probably help you.
Many experts contend that a nocturnal lifestyle is carcinogenic, although this may be due to unhealthy habits that come with being a night owl, not the sleeping habits themselves. Cancer in pilots, flight attendants, and shift workers has been shown to have a link with disrupted circadian cycles owing to the unconventional schedules imposed on them by work.
Disrupted circadian cycles are linked to mood disorders such as bipolar disorder but other vulnerabilities contribute too, such as stress.
If you are a student, DON‘T do this! It can slow your learning process extremely down!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Up All Night\\n1-1. Train yourself gradually.\\nIt’s difficult to switch straight from a normal sun-driven schedule to one in which you’re sleeping while the rest of the world is awake. Doing this will likely just leave you completely sleep deprived, since you’ll force yourself to stay up all night and you won’t be able to sleep well during the day. Instead, gradually start staying up later each night and sleeping in later in the morning. Push the times back more and more, and in a week or so you won’t have as much trouble waking and sleeping when you want to.\\nThe first night of training, stay up as late as you can without forcing yourself. Stay awake until you feel like you can’t keep your eyes open a moment longer, then go to sleep. Don’t set an alarm, and block the windows so you won’t wake up with the sun. Sleep as late as you can, then wake up and go about your day.\\nThe next night, try to stay up an hour later than you did the night before, and in the morning, sleep an extra hour.\\nContinue this process until you’re falling asleep and rising when you want to.\\n1-2. Keep your mind occupied.\\nStaying up at night is a lot easier when you’re doing activities that keep your brain engaged. Watching shows or movies can be helpful, although many are known to fall asleep midway through an episode. Try something that keeps you active, like reading a book or playing video games.\\nSome find that they feel more creative at night. Try working on an art project, making music, or writing an essay in the middle of the night. Try not to go to sleep until you’re at a good stopping point. You probably won’t even notice when the sun begins to rise.\\n1-3. Exercise at night.\\nThis is a sure way to get your blood rushing and make you feel more alert and awake instead of sleepy. Go for a night run or a brisk walk. The fresh air will wake you up, too. If you don’t want to go outside, do sets of crunches, situps or pullups in your house to keep yourself awake.\\nTaking a shower after you work out, preferably a cool one, will also help keep you from falling asleep.\\nIf you don’t like to exercise, just stick your head outside and take several deep breaths of air when you’re feeling tired. The temperature difference will make your body wake up.\\n1-4. Eat a meal.\\nYour body will wake up a little in order to start digesting the food you take in. Cook a meal and eat it in the middle of the night. Don’t fall back on a typical midnight snack, like a peanut butter sandwich or pizza, because these are foods your mind already associates with late night eating. Instead, cook a meal you’d normally eat during the day, like poached salmon, spinach and couscous. Drink a big glass of cold water as well.\\n1-5. Play music.\\nIf you don’t share your home with people who would like to be able to sleep in peace, put on some loud, fast music to get your body moving. Choose music that makes you want to get up and dance or sing along, instead of music that puts you to sleep. If you’re concerned about waking people up, use headphones.\\n1-6. Talk to other people who are awake.\\nHave you ever had one of those late night phone sessions with a friend that keeps both of you up until dawn? Talking with someone else is very stimulating, and it’s one of the best ways to keep yourself awake. If you have a friend who’s also trying to stay up all night and sleep during the day, schedule phone conversations to keep each other entertained.\\nIf you don’t know anyone else who’s trying to be nocturnal, use a chat program to get in touch with someone living in another time zone where everyone’s awake. If you’re chatting with someone who lives in a place where it’s daytime, you’ll be able to wake right up.\\n1-7. Shop at stores that are open all night.\\nGetting out of the house and walking around can help you feel more awake and normal at night. If you know of a store or a diner that’s always open, consider going there to hang out and shop or eat for a few hours. This is usually easier to do in a city where there are other people looking for spots to hang out at night.\\nMake sure you stay in safe, well-lit areas when you go out at night. Since fewer people will be out and about, it’s important to be aware of your surroundings and mindful of your safety. Bring a cell phone with you and tell someone where you’re going.\\n1-8. Use caffeine carefully.\\nCaffeine is a stimulant that provides an excellent pick-me-up for a few hours, and it’s great in a pinch when you need to pull a one-off all-nighter. However, if your goal is to become permanently (or semi-permanently) nocturnal, you shouldn’t fall back on caffeine as your tool for staying awake. Having a lot of caffeine in your system will make it more difficult to get to sleep during the day, and it’s important that you sleep when you can so you don’t deprive your body of rest.\\nThe same goes for energy drinks that contain other types of stimulants. It’s better to gradually train your body to stay awake instead of forcing it using artificial means.\\n2. Resting During the Day\\n2-1. Use blackout curtains.\\nWhen your body senses the sun has come up, it’s a lot harder to get to sleep. The slightest bit of sun peeking out from around the edges of your blinds will cause your body to become more alert. If you want to be able to sleep during the day, invest in blackout curtains. They’re so sturdy and opaque, they block out all sunlight. When the sun comes up, you’ll have no idea that it’s daytime.\\nIf you don’t want to buy a set of blackout curtains, get very dark, heavy drapes or cover your windows with thick, dark-colored blankets.\\nUsing a sleeping mask to block out light is also helpful if you don’t mind sleeping with something on your face.\\n2-2. Block out sounds, too.\\nAs the rest of the world wakes, they’ll start making all kinds of noises: the sound of a garbage truck barreling down the street, the neighbor calling his dog, your roommate’s microwave opening and closing. To defend against the onslaught of morning sounds, you’ll need a good pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones.\\nIf you don’t like wearing items on your head while you sleep, try using a white noise machine. These machines produce low, quiet sounds to which your ears quickly grow accustomed, and they block out the other more annoying sounds that might enter your room.\\n2-3. Try melatonin.\\nThis is a chemical the brain produces to put the body to sleep. Melatonin pills are a natural sleep aid that can help your body rest if you have trouble sleeping during the day. Unlike regular sleeping pills, they don’t have addictive properties and won’t leave you groggy when you wake up.\\nIf you’re interested in taking stronger sleeping pills that use synthetic chemicals to put the body to sleep, it’s best to discuss this with your doctor first. This is especially important if you have to drive or go to work upon waking.\\n2-4. Eat breakfast when you wake up.\\nEven if you wake up at 6:00 in the evening, eat breakfast foods. This will signal to your brain and body that it’s the beginning of your day. If you eat lunch or dinner foods, you’ll be sending different signals. Follow the normal morning routine you’d have if you woke up at 8:00 am. Put on a pot of coffee or tea and enjoy your typical breakfast.\\n2-5. Tell people not to disturb you.\\nIf you’re quite serious about following a nocturnal schedule, tell the people in your life not to disturb you during the day unless it’s an emergency. Let them know that it’s very important for you to sleep during the day, because otherwise you’ll end up sleep deprived.\\nYou’ll need to set up a schedule that works for your family so they have no need to disturb you. For example, if your children will be coming home from school during the time you’re supposed to be asleep, have a plan in place for them to go to after school care or stay with someone until you wake up.\\n3. Keeping Your Body Healthy\\n3-1. Stick to a schedule.\\nIf you’re planning on staying nocturnal for a while, it’s important to stick with a steady schedule. Go to bed at the same time of day and rise at the same time, too. If you don’t, your sleep schedule will end up all over the place, and that can wreak havoc on your health.\\nAfter you’ve gradually gotten accustomed to your schedule, stick with it the same way you would a regular schedule. Set your alarm and try to go to bed on time.\\nWhen you’re ready to go back to a normal day/night schedule, do it gradually.\\n3-2. Get vitamin D.\\nStaying inside during the day means you won’t be exposed to the sun’s healthy rays. Sure, too much sun is a bad thing, but too little sun is actually worse. When you don’t get exposed to any sun, your body doesn’t produce vitamin D, which is essential to healthy bone growth and other natural functions.\\nTry to arrange your schedule so that you get at least a little sun exposure during the daylight.\\nYou may want to get a sun lamp to stimulate vitamin D production if you’re getting very little sun.\\n3-3. Be careful operating machinery.\\nWhen you adopt a nocturnal schedule, you’re going against your body’s natural rhythms. You’re always going to be a little sleepier and less sharp than you’d be if you had a normal day/night schedule. For this reason, it’s important to be careful operating machinery, including a car, while you’re still getting used to being awake all night. Stay as alert as possible, especially while you’re at work.\\n4. Choosing a Long-Term Nocturnal Lifestyle\\n4-1. Decide if being nocturnal will enhance your life.\\nThere are many reasons for going nocturnal, but they need to resonate with who you are and the life you'd like to lead. The disadvantages of going nocturnal should be weighed when considering it as a way of life. You won't be around when most people are awake, so that means missing out on a lot of social activities. You'll also be underexposed to vitamin D, which could negatively affect your health. However, the benefits of going nocturnal are numerous:\\nThere are fewer people around during the night, which can be great for a number of reasons.\\nIt can be a creatively productive time if you are naturally a night owl. People will not be emailing you with demands, so you will not be interrupted.\\nYou'll be the life of the party because you'll be more refreshed than all the people knocking off a day's work. You might even join the ranks of the \\\"professional night owls\\\" who live to party in the best nightclubs in town.\\nIt's a chance to connect with interesting people also staying up all night, including night owls, vampire fans, social moths, and people who just can't get off the internet late at night.\\nYour house won't seem as messy. Human vision is terrible at night. Even with the lights on, it is harder to see the dust and fluff bunnies. You won't need to clean half as hard!\\nAnother thing to consider is being nocturnal seasonally or for a set period rather than all year long. This can be useful during a special season like summertime when the nights are lovely, during a vacation season and so on. You can be available to pursue whatever interests happen to coincide with your need to stay up all night.\\n4-2. Find a job or lifestyle that allows you to have a nocturnal lifestyle.\\nIf you're serious about making this a long-term commitment, you'll need to find a job that allows you to sleep during the day and stay awake at night. If you plan to stay nocturnal as a long-term or permanent change, you'll need to be able to work around the things that are usually done during the day.\\n\\nShift work will allow you to continue working during the night. There are many different possibilities for shift work, including loading and transporting goods, security and policing, monitoring facilities, night-fill in supermarkets, hotel reception work, fishing, cleaning, journalists, highway work, and so on. Even sports can be played at night; a recent study showed that morning larks made better morning pitchers, while night owls made better evening pitchers.\\nWork from home. If you are a blogger, online marketer, eBay seller, writer, artist, etc., who can work from home, set up your own routine as befits your work.\\nStudies will be harder, but if you are taking classes online, you can study this whenever you like. For university, get recordings of lectures, or ask friends for notes. You will have problems with missing tutorials that require attendance for grades, so try to schedule evening tutorials.\\n4-3. Connect with other nocturnals or night owls.\\nFind other people who love the night more than the day, from geeks and gamers, to creative types and mystics. Try to connect with people who have the same love of the night as you. Be aware that this is going to be more likely in a large urban environment like New York, Tokyo, or Sydney than anywhere else – cities that never sleep.\\nIn New York City, you can connect with other like-minded night owls through the New York Night Owls, a weekly meet-up of hardworking night owls which keeps the hours 10pm – 4am. The idea has also caught on in London, and may be coming to a location near you anytime soon!\\nLook for cafes and other meeting places that court night owls and don't throw you out after midnight. Again, these are more likely to exist in large urban environments but if there isn't one near you, consider creating a home network with fellow nocturnals so you can drop in on each other and have a cup of something and brainstorm creatively together in the deep of the night.\\nUse social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook to connect with other nocturnals in your area: check the location status so that you know you're talking to a night owl and not a lark in a city on the other side of the world!\\n4-4. Pay attention to your mental health.\\nBe aware that while it has been claimed recently that night owls are more intelligent than their morning lark counterparts, being a night owl can impact your mental health negatively. If you find yourself experiencing mental challenges, such as depression, you might want to reconsider your night owl behaviors. Seek advice from your doctor if you're worried.\\nBe sure to get sufficient vitamin D. You will need a little regular sunshine daily.\\n4-5. Revert to your diurnal self.\\nIf you want to be back to your normal diurnal self again, it's easy. Just stay up all night and then keep yourself awake all day the next day. When the sun comes up and lights up the sky with beautiful colors, you should feel peaceful with that moon still hanging in the sky, it will give you a wonderful fresh, waken-up feeling for the day. The time it takes to get back into the usual rhythm will depend on your personality, activities, and how sleep deprived you're feeling.\\nTips\\nNote that this will be easier if you're naturally a night owl personality.[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nFind the stores that keep your hours so you can get your usual grocery and other shopping done with ease.\\nGive yourself a fresh start in the evening by taking a shower, getting dressed and ready for the night, eating a hearty waking up meal, and getting some fresh air outside by exercising - hop on a bike or go for a jog while it's still light or twilight.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid caffeine unless you know you can drink it and still sleep during the daytime. Daytime sleep is much more prone to distractions and you're much more likely to be woken up, causing possible sleep deprivation challenges.\\nIf you are afraid of the dark, being nocturnal can be confronting. Then again, it might just be a way to overcome such a fear.\\nOther family members, spouse or partner and friends might not like your nocturnal habits. Keep other people's wishes in mind. If you are single and fancy-free, being nocturnal is easier than if you're married and have kids in tow, although shift work can justify a nocturnal lifestyle.\\n\\\"Shift work malaise\\\" is a well known condition that brings about mood disorders, tiredness, an inability to concentrate, and broken sleep.\\nGet sunshine regularly. Vitamin D is important for our health, as is being exposed to light for growth and good health.\\nDoing this can cause you to lose your job or flunk your studies. Students can get lecture notes off other students, but goodwill only extends so far!\\nThis is not the normal pattern for humans but we have the ability to override our usual circadian rhythm; investigate the potential health consequences if planning to do this long-term. Shift worker studies will probably help you.\\nMany experts contend that a nocturnal lifestyle is carcinogenic, although this may be due to unhealthy habits that come with being a night owl, not the sleeping habits themselves. Cancer in pilots, flight attendants, and shift workers has been shown to have a link with disrupted circadian cycles owing to the unconventional schedules imposed on them by work.\\nDisrupted circadian cycles are linked to mood disorders such as bipolar disorder but other vulnerabilities contribute too, such as stress.\\nIf you are a student, DON‘T do this! It can slow your learning process extremely down!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Humans have a circadian rhythm that causes us to sleep during the night and stay awake during the day. But what if you want to reverse this natural order and become nocturnal? Whether you work the graveyard shift and need ways to stay alert on the job or you’re just interested in becoming a creature of the night, with some practice you can train your body to adopt nocturnal habits.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Up All Night\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Train yourself gradually.\", \"描述\": \"It’s difficult to switch straight from a normal sun-driven schedule to one in which you’re sleeping while the rest of the world is awake. Doing this will likely just leave you completely sleep deprived, since you’ll force yourself to stay up all night and you won’t be able to sleep well during the day. Instead, gradually start staying up later each night and sleeping in later in the morning. Push the times back more and more, and in a week or so you won’t have as much trouble waking and sleeping when you want to.\\nThe first night of training, stay up as late as you can without forcing yourself. Stay awake until you feel like you can’t keep your eyes open a moment longer, then go to sleep. Don’t set an alarm, and block the windows so you won’t wake up with the sun. Sleep as late as you can, then wake up and go about your day.\\nThe next night, try to stay up an hour later than you did the night before, and in the morning, sleep an extra hour.\\nContinue this process until you’re falling asleep and rising when you want to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your mind occupied.\", \"描述\": \"Staying up at night is a lot easier when you’re doing activities that keep your brain engaged. Watching shows or movies can be helpful, although many are known to fall asleep midway through an episode. Try something that keeps you active, like reading a book or playing video games.\\nSome find that they feel more creative at night. Try working on an art project, making music, or writing an essay in the middle of the night. Try not to go to sleep until you’re at a good stopping point. You probably won’t even notice when the sun begins to rise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise at night.\", \"描述\": \"This is a sure way to get your blood rushing and make you feel more alert and awake instead of sleepy. Go for a night run or a brisk walk. The fresh air will wake you up, too. If you don’t want to go outside, do sets of crunches, situps or pullups in your house to keep yourself awake.\\nTaking a shower after you work out, preferably a cool one, will also help keep you from falling asleep.\\nIf you don’t like to exercise, just stick your head outside and take several deep breaths of air when you’re feeling tired. The temperature difference will make your body wake up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat a meal.\", \"描述\": \"Your body will wake up a little in order to start digesting the food you take in. Cook a meal and eat it in the middle of the night. Don’t fall back on a typical midnight snack, like a peanut butter sandwich or pizza, because these are foods your mind already associates with late night eating. Instead, cook a meal you’d normally eat during the day, like poached salmon, spinach and couscous. Drink a big glass of cold water as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play music.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t share your home with people who would like to be able to sleep in peace, put on some loud, fast music to get your body moving. Choose music that makes you want to get up and dance or sing along, instead of music that puts you to sleep. If you’re concerned about waking people up, use headphones.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Talk to other people who are awake.\", \"描述\": \"Have you ever had one of those late night phone sessions with a friend that keeps both of you up until dawn? Talking with someone else is very stimulating, and it’s one of the best ways to keep yourself awake. If you have a friend who’s also trying to stay up all night and sleep during the day, schedule phone conversations to keep each other entertained.\\nIf you don’t know anyone else who’s trying to be nocturnal, use a chat program to get in touch with someone living in another time zone where everyone’s awake. If you’re chatting with someone who lives in a place where it’s daytime, you’ll be able to wake right up.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Shop at stores that are open all night.\", \"描述\": \"Getting out of the house and walking around can help you feel more awake and normal at night. If you know of a store or a diner that’s always open, consider going there to hang out and shop or eat for a few hours. This is usually easier to do in a city where there are other people looking for spots to hang out at night.\\nMake sure you stay in safe, well-lit areas when you go out at night. Since fewer people will be out and about, it’s important to be aware of your surroundings and mindful of your safety. Bring a cell phone with you and tell someone where you’re going.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use caffeine carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Caffeine is a stimulant that provides an excellent pick-me-up for a few hours, and it’s great in a pinch when you need to pull a one-off all-nighter. However, if your goal is to become permanently (or semi-permanently) nocturnal, you shouldn’t fall back on caffeine as your tool for staying awake. Having a lot of caffeine in your system will make it more difficult to get to sleep during the day, and it’s important that you sleep when you can so you don’t deprive your body of rest.\\nThe same goes for energy drinks that contain other types of stimulants. It’s better to gradually train your body to stay awake instead of forcing it using artificial means.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Resting During the Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use blackout curtains.\", \"描述\": \"When your body senses the sun has come up, it’s a lot harder to get to sleep. The slightest bit of sun peeking out from around the edges of your blinds will cause your body to become more alert. If you want to be able to sleep during the day, invest in blackout curtains. They’re so sturdy and opaque, they block out all sunlight. When the sun comes up, you’ll have no idea that it’s daytime.\\nIf you don’t want to buy a set of blackout curtains, get very dark, heavy drapes or cover your windows with thick, dark-colored blankets.\\nUsing a sleeping mask to block out light is also helpful if you don’t mind sleeping with something on your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Block out sounds, too.\", \"描述\": \"As the rest of the world wakes, they’ll start making all kinds of noises: the sound of a garbage truck barreling down the street, the neighbor calling his dog, your roommate’s microwave opening and closing. To defend against the onslaught of morning sounds, you’ll need a good pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones.\\nIf you don’t like wearing items on your head while you sleep, try using a white noise machine. These machines produce low, quiet sounds to which your ears quickly grow accustomed, and they block out the other more annoying sounds that might enter your room.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try melatonin.\", \"描述\": \"This is a chemical the brain produces to put the body to sleep. Melatonin pills are a natural sleep aid that can help your body rest if you have trouble sleeping during the day. Unlike regular sleeping pills, they don’t have addictive properties and won’t leave you groggy when you wake up.\\nIf you’re interested in taking stronger sleeping pills that use synthetic chemicals to put the body to sleep, it’s best to discuss this with your doctor first. This is especially important if you have to drive or go to work upon waking.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Eat breakfast when you wake up.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you wake up at 6:00 in the evening, eat breakfast foods. This will signal to your brain and body that it’s the beginning of your day. If you eat lunch or dinner foods, you’ll be sending different signals. Follow the normal morning routine you’d have if you woke up at 8:00 am. Put on a pot of coffee or tea and enjoy your typical breakfast.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell people not to disturb you.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re quite serious about following a nocturnal schedule, tell the people in your life not to disturb you during the day unless it’s an emergency. Let them know that it’s very important for you to sleep during the day, because otherwise you’ll end up sleep deprived.\\nYou’ll need to set up a schedule that works for your family so they have no need to disturb you. For example, if your children will be coming home from school during the time you’re supposed to be asleep, have a plan in place for them to go to after school care or stay with someone until you wake up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Body Healthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stick to a schedule.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re planning on staying nocturnal for a while, it’s important to stick with a steady schedule. Go to bed at the same time of day and rise at the same time, too. If you don’t, your sleep schedule will end up all over the place, and that can wreak havoc on your health.\\nAfter you’ve gradually gotten accustomed to your schedule, stick with it the same way you would a regular schedule. Set your alarm and try to go to bed on time.\\nWhen you’re ready to go back to a normal day/night schedule, do it gradually.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get vitamin D.\", \"描述\": \"Staying inside during the day means you won’t be exposed to the sun’s healthy rays. Sure, too much sun is a bad thing, but too little sun is actually worse. When you don’t get exposed to any sun, your body doesn’t produce vitamin D, which is essential to healthy bone growth and other natural functions.\\nTry to arrange your schedule so that you get at least a little sun exposure during the daylight.\\nYou may want to get a sun lamp to stimulate vitamin D production if you’re getting very little sun.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be careful operating machinery.\", \"描述\": \"When you adopt a nocturnal schedule, you’re going against your body’s natural rhythms. You’re always going to be a little sleepier and less sharp than you’d be if you had a normal day/night schedule. For this reason, it’s important to be careful operating machinery, including a car, while you’re still getting used to being awake all night. Stay as alert as possible, especially while you’re at work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Long-Term Nocturnal Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide if being nocturnal will enhance your life.\", \"描述\": \"There are many reasons for going nocturnal, but they need to resonate with who you are and the life you'd like to lead. The disadvantages of going nocturnal should be weighed when considering it as a way of life. You won't be around when most people are awake, so that means missing out on a lot of social activities. You'll also be underexposed to vitamin D, which could negatively affect your health. However, the benefits of going nocturnal are numerous:\\nThere are fewer people around during the night, which can be great for a number of reasons.\\nIt can be a creatively productive time if you are naturally a night owl. People will not be emailing you with demands, so you will not be interrupted.\\nYou'll be the life of the party because you'll be more refreshed than all the people knocking off a day's work. You might even join the ranks of the \\\"professional night owls\\\" who live to party in the best nightclubs in town.\\nIt's a chance to connect with interesting people also staying up all night, including night owls, vampire fans, social moths, and people who just can't get off the internet late at night.\\nYour house won't seem as messy. Human vision is terrible at night. Even with the lights on, it is harder to see the dust and fluff bunnies. You won't need to clean half as hard!\\nAnother thing to consider is being nocturnal seasonally or for a set period rather than all year long. This can be useful during a special season like summertime when the nights are lovely, during a vacation season and so on. You can be available to pursue whatever interests happen to coincide with your need to stay up all night.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a job or lifestyle that allows you to have a nocturnal lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"If you're serious about making this a long-term commitment, you'll need to find a job that allows you to sleep during the day and stay awake at night. If you plan to stay nocturnal as a long-term or permanent change, you'll need to be able to work around the things that are usually done during the day.\\n\\nShift work will allow you to continue working during the night. There are many different possibilities for shift work, including loading and transporting goods, security and policing, monitoring facilities, night-fill in supermarkets, hotel reception work, fishing, cleaning, journalists, highway work, and so on. Even sports can be played at night; a recent study showed that morning larks made better morning pitchers, while night owls made better evening pitchers.\\nWork from home. If you are a blogger, online marketer, eBay seller, writer, artist, etc., who can work from home, set up your own routine as befits your work.\\nStudies will be harder, but if you are taking classes online, you can study this whenever you like. For university, get recordings of lectures, or ask friends for notes. You will have problems with missing tutorials that require attendance for grades, so try to schedule evening tutorials.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Connect with other nocturnals or night owls.\", \"描述\": \"Find other people who love the night more than the day, from geeks and gamers, to creative types and mystics. Try to connect with people who have the same love of the night as you. Be aware that this is going to be more likely in a large urban environment like New York, Tokyo, or Sydney than anywhere else – cities that never sleep.\\nIn New York City, you can connect with other like-minded night owls through the New York Night Owls, a weekly meet-up of hardworking night owls which keeps the hours 10pm – 4am. The idea has also caught on in London, and may be coming to a location near you anytime soon!\\nLook for cafes and other meeting places that court night owls and don't throw you out after midnight. Again, these are more likely to exist in large urban environments but if there isn't one near you, consider creating a home network with fellow nocturnals so you can drop in on each other and have a cup of something and brainstorm creatively together in the deep of the night.\\nUse social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook to connect with other nocturnals in your area: check the location status so that you know you're talking to a night owl and not a lark in a city on the other side of the world!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your mental health.\", \"描述\": \"Be aware that while it has been claimed recently that night owls are more intelligent than their morning lark counterparts, being a night owl can impact your mental health negatively. If you find yourself experiencing mental challenges, such as depression, you might want to reconsider your night owl behaviors. Seek advice from your doctor if you're worried.\\nBe sure to get sufficient vitamin D. You will need a little regular sunshine daily.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Revert to your diurnal self.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be back to your normal diurnal self again, it's easy. Just stay up all night and then keep yourself awake all day the next day. When the sun comes up and lights up the sky with beautiful colors, you should feel peaceful with that moon still hanging in the sky, it will give you a wonderful fresh, waken-up feeling for the day. The time it takes to get back into the usual rhythm will depend on your personality, activities, and how sleep deprived you're feeling.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Note that this will be easier if you're naturally a night owl personality.[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Find the stores that keep your hours so you can get your usual grocery and other shopping done with ease.\\n\", \"Give yourself a fresh start in the evening by taking a shower, getting dressed and ready for the night, eating a hearty waking up meal, and getting some fresh air outside by exercising - hop on a bike or go for a jog while it's still light or twilight.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid caffeine unless you know you can drink it and still sleep during the daytime. Daytime sleep is much more prone to distractions and you're much more likely to be woken up, causing possible sleep deprivation challenges.\\n\", \"If you are afraid of the dark, being nocturnal can be confronting. Then again, it might just be a way to overcome such a fear.\\n\", \"Other family members, spouse or partner and friends might not like your nocturnal habits. Keep other people's wishes in mind. If you are single and fancy-free, being nocturnal is easier than if you're married and have kids in tow, although shift work can justify a nocturnal lifestyle.\\n\", \"\\\"Shift work malaise\\\" is a well known condition that brings about mood disorders, tiredness, an inability to concentrate, and broken sleep.\\n\", \"Get sunshine regularly. Vitamin D is important for our health, as is being exposed to light for growth and good health.\\n\", \"Doing this can cause you to lose your job or flunk your studies. Students can get lecture notes off other students, but goodwill only extends so far!\\n\", \"This is not the normal pattern for humans but we have the ability to override our usual circadian rhythm; investigate the potential health consequences if planning to do this long-term. Shift worker studies will probably help you.\\n\", \"Many experts contend that a nocturnal lifestyle is carcinogenic, although this may be due to unhealthy habits that come with being a night owl, not the sleeping habits themselves. Cancer in pilots, flight attendants, and shift workers has been shown to have a link with disrupted circadian cycles owing to the unconventional schedules imposed on them by work.\\n\", \"Disrupted circadian cycles are linked to mood disorders such as bipolar disorder but other vulnerabilities contribute too, such as stress.\\n\", \"If you are a student, DON‘T do this! It can slow your learning process extremely down!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,997 | How to Be Nonchalant | 1. Getting in the Mindset
1-1. Find a comedic angle to everything.
The benefit of being nonchalant isn't about not being happy – it's about not easily getting upset, angry, or stressed. And how might one do that? Well, when everything is comical is a good start. Just like most things have a silver lining, most things have a comedic edge to them, too.
Though it's a simple example, let's say you trip onstage at some award ceremony. Instead of turning bright red in shame, you either brush it off like you meant it to happen and accept your award from the floor, or you put up your arms in a "tada" moment and embrace the spotlight. Let the hooting and hollering commence.
1-2. Pretend you don't have the "shame gene."
All of us have that little voice in our head that's telling us to look cool and to act socially acceptable. This is generally a smart voice in our heads – it makes us friends, gets us connections, and makes life a little easier. But sometimes it halts us in our tracks, keeps us from growing, and just makes us worried, emotionally erratic, and anxious. Instead, pretend for a moment that you don't have it. How do you act? What is your body telling the world? That's nonchalance.
So much of what we do is to avoid shame and to feel accepted. If that urge wasn't within you, what might you do differently? Would you really care if Joel liked your shoes or if Marcia texted you back? Probably not. Start out by focusing on this just for a few minutes a day until it becomes naturally nearly all the time.
1-3. Worry less about what you can't change.
The world is going to end at some point. Do you worry about that? Probably not. Your mom sometimes wears the ugliest sweaters. Do you worry about that? Nope. If you can't change it, there's no point in worrying about. What can you do? Worry about it...and then just worry some more? Yep. There's no point.
So when your teacher announces a pop quiz? No reaction from you. There's no point in worrying about it – the only thing you can worry about is doing well. And when your crush doesn't text you back? Moving on – you were just feeling it out anyway.
1-4. Don't take yourself (or anything) too seriously.
All of life becomes infinitely easier when you come to the conclusions that nothing is that big of a deal. We are all well-oiled specks of dust on this amazing blue planet, and if today isn't going our way, well, that's just how the cookie crumbles. Bad things will happen and good things will happen. Why get worked up about it?
You've probably met someone who takes themselves way more seriously than they should. They're wound up, constantly caring what other people think of what they're doing, saying, and what they look like. In reality, others aren't really thinking about them at all. Just watching them is exhausting because they're wound up so tight. Be the opposite of that person, and the nonchalance will come.
1-5. Do yoga.
Along with yoga being a decent way to burn calories and tone your muscles, it's also fantastic at getting rid of all that mind-chatter so many of us have. Many studies have shown that "yogis" suffer from less stress, less anxiety, and even lower blood pressure rates. If you're having trouble changing your thinking patterns, yoga may be able to do it for you.
Another good idea is doing deep breathing exercises. Concentrating on your body and your breathing takes you out of your mind and into the here and now. You focus on more tangible realities, like how the chair you're on feels on your skin and the temperature of the room – and not on whatever's been worrying you lately.
2. Acting Nonchalant
2-1. Be the adult version of you.
When we get worried and anxious, we also get self-righteous and selfish. All of a sudden, it's about me, me, me and whatever you're demanding needs to be met and now – in other words, we become children. Recognize this part of you (we all have it), and instead opt for the adult in you (we all have that, too). How would the older, more mature side of you react?
Let's say you just sent a text to your boyfriend or girlfriend. They haven't responded yet. The clock is ticking, minutes are passing, and they still haven't responded. The child in you wants to go, "What are you doing? Why aren't you responding?! Is something wrong?! Why are you being mean?!" Nope. You're not gonna do that. Instead, you're gonna pick up a book. If they don't text back, fine. You can't really remember what you texted them anyway.
2-2. Don't show a wide range of emotions.
The very definition of nonchalant is to be calm and relaxed, pretty much 24/7. You can show mild interest or happiness – or even a little disappointment or frustration – but underneath it all, you're still cool as a cucumber. It's not about being cold and emotionless, it's about being chill.
Let's say your crush told you to back off. Dang. That sucks. You have the urge to cry and whine and eat your feelings, but the calmer side of you knows better. And you're not just going to say, "okay," and move on like it never happened, because it did. When talking about it with your friends, you say something like, "Man, this stinks. Wish it didn't work out this way, but totally glad I didn't ask him/her out on a date!"
2-3. Don't invest in others' opinions.
You know what are opinions are like, right? Everybody has 'em. Trying to please everyone and getting everyone to like you is a lost cause, because it just won't happen. Others' opinions of you don't matter; live will go on no matter what. What's more, will you remember what Katie said about your hair in two weeks' time? Nope. So don't stress it. You're doing your own thing and that's what matters.
When only your opinion counts, you'll find it easier to stay more relaxed and stress-free. In other words, nonchalant. You control all of the opinions that matter. How awesome of a feeling is that? Everything else isn't on your radar and isn't worth stressing.
2-4. Watch your body language.
Even if we say the calmest, coolest things, sometimes our bodies give us away. Your voice says, "It's okay. No worries," when steam is rolling out of your ears and your hands are clenched in fists. No breaking news here: everyone can see through it. So when you're speaking nonchalantly, make sure your body backs it up, too.
How your body is positioned will be determined by the situation you're in. The main way to come off as worried and anxious (and not nonchalant) is if your muscles are tensed. If you think your body might give you away, go through your body from head to toe, consciously checking if each part is relaxed. If it's not, let it loose. The mental nonchalance may come from there.
2-5. Develop the perfect "shrug."
When someone comes up to you with a hot piece of gossip, this is your go-to response. It doesn't have to be an actual shrug, but it's essentially the equivalent. "Oh, that's nice. Where did you hear that from?" is a good verbal shrug when the other person is expecting you to say, "Ohmigod, are you serious?!" You're essentially letting everything in one ear and out the other.
It's good to have a sort of "mental shrug" attitude, too. The milk spilled? Shrug. Guess you should probably clean that up, huh? You gained a few pounds? Shrug. More salad tomorrow.
3. Living a Nonchalant Lifestyle
3-1. Pursue your own path.
Those individuals out there who are not nonchalant (chalant, if you will), are busy with molding their lives to what others say is okay. They try so hard to make it so everything is just so in order to be accepted and feel loved. In short, they care far too much. And about things that don't matter to boot. Don't copy this lifestyle or anyone else's – pursue your own. You don't care about what anyone else says – you're gonna do what makes you happy.
This helps for a number of reasons. It keeps you busy, it makes you tons of different friends, and it keeps you happy and feeling fulfilled. The bigger your world, the littler everything gets. That one person that could upset you before, can't anymore, because you know a dozen other people just like them.
3-2. Realize that you have many seeds.
Let's use this example: say you want to start a garden, but you only have one seed. You plant that seed so carefully, watching it day in and day out, worrying that it'll amount to nothing and maybe even smothering it in the process. Luckily, in real life, this isn't your garden. You have so many seeds you barely know what to do with them! You can scatter a few here, a few there, and see what turns up. How much do you care? Well, some. You want your garden to be successful. But are you gonna stay up all night, worrying about one little seed? No way.
This is a fancy way of saying that you have plenty of going on in your life. If one thing is going wrong, oh well. You have a thousand other things going on in your life that are going just fine, thanks. No need to worry. If that "seed" doesn't work out, you'll plant another one.
3-3. Let others initiate most of the plans.
Another way to come off as not-so-nonchalant is to be overeager. You're always the one excited and bustling with ideas and trying to get people to do things. Slow down there, tiger. To be nonchalant, let everyone else come to you most of the time. You're a willing participant, but you're just along for the ride. You're not captain of the ship.
That is, most of the time. You don't want to be a dull dud that mooches off of everyone else's good ideas, and you want your friends to know you value them. When you are invited, let them know that you had fun and that the party can be at your house next time, for example. Friendships are two-way streets, after all.
3-4. Let it slide.
When Idina Menzel sang, "Let it go, let it go" she wasn't kidding. Whenever your mood pendulum feels the urge to swing left or right, stop for a second. Count to 10, and let it pass. Concentrate on being calm, cool, and collected. You got this. Sure, you're happy, or sure, you're sad – but you're not gonna let it get to you. What would be the point in that?
If you're struggling with something really bothering you, try telling yourself that you'll worry about it tomorrow. But it off in your mind, knowing that you'll get to it in under 24 hours. Then what happens? Tomorrow comes and either you don't remember to worry about it, or you feel much better (or at least more in control) about what happened.
Warnings
Be sensitive of people's feelings.Too much nonchalance can offend people and drive them away. Unfortunately, it can drive your crush away too, if you're not being careful.
Remember that neutrality is best shown during times of emotional burden. It's the best way to hide your feelings and not freak people out. It can define you as someone tougher and more stone-like.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting in the Mindset\\n1-1. Find a comedic angle to everything.\\nThe benefit of being nonchalant isn't about not being happy – it's about not easily getting upset, angry, or stressed. And how might one do that? Well, when everything is comical is a good start. Just like most things have a silver lining, most things have a comedic edge to them, too.\\nThough it's a simple example, let's say you trip onstage at some award ceremony. Instead of turning bright red in shame, you either brush it off like you meant it to happen and accept your award from the floor, or you put up your arms in a \\\"tada\\\" moment and embrace the spotlight. Let the hooting and hollering commence.\\n1-2. Pretend you don't have the \\\"shame gene.\\\"\\nAll of us have that little voice in our head that's telling us to look cool and to act socially acceptable. This is generally a smart voice in our heads – it makes us friends, gets us connections, and makes life a little easier. But sometimes it halts us in our tracks, keeps us from growing, and just makes us worried, emotionally erratic, and anxious. Instead, pretend for a moment that you don't have it. How do you act? What is your body telling the world? That's nonchalance.\\nSo much of what we do is to avoid shame and to feel accepted. If that urge wasn't within you, what might you do differently? Would you really care if Joel liked your shoes or if Marcia texted you back? Probably not. Start out by focusing on this just for a few minutes a day until it becomes naturally nearly all the time.\\n1-3. Worry less about what you can't change.\\nThe world is going to end at some point. Do you worry about that? Probably not. Your mom sometimes wears the ugliest sweaters. Do you worry about that? Nope. If you can't change it, there's no point in worrying about. What can you do? Worry about it...and then just worry some more? Yep. There's no point.\\nSo when your teacher announces a pop quiz? No reaction from you. There's no point in worrying about it – the only thing you can worry about is doing well. And when your crush doesn't text you back? Moving on – you were just feeling it out anyway.\\n1-4. Don't take yourself (or anything) too seriously.\\nAll of life becomes infinitely easier when you come to the conclusions that nothing is that big of a deal. We are all well-oiled specks of dust on this amazing blue planet, and if today isn't going our way, well, that's just how the cookie crumbles. Bad things will happen and good things will happen. Why get worked up about it?\\nYou've probably met someone who takes themselves way more seriously than they should. They're wound up, constantly caring what other people think of what they're doing, saying, and what they look like. In reality, others aren't really thinking about them at all. Just watching them is exhausting because they're wound up so tight. Be the opposite of that person, and the nonchalance will come.\\n1-5. Do yoga.\\nAlong with yoga being a decent way to burn calories and tone your muscles, it's also fantastic at getting rid of all that mind-chatter so many of us have. Many studies have shown that \\\"yogis\\\" suffer from less stress, less anxiety, and even lower blood pressure rates. If you're having trouble changing your thinking patterns, yoga may be able to do it for you.\\nAnother good idea is doing deep breathing exercises. Concentrating on your body and your breathing takes you out of your mind and into the here and now. You focus on more tangible realities, like how the chair you're on feels on your skin and the temperature of the room – and not on whatever's been worrying you lately.\\n2. Acting Nonchalant\\n2-1. Be the adult version of you.\\nWhen we get worried and anxious, we also get self-righteous and selfish. All of a sudden, it's about me, me, me and whatever you're demanding needs to be met and now – in other words, we become children. Recognize this part of you (we all have it), and instead opt for the adult in you (we all have that, too). How would the older, more mature side of you react?\\nLet's say you just sent a text to your boyfriend or girlfriend. They haven't responded yet. The clock is ticking, minutes are passing, and they still haven't responded. The child in you wants to go, \\\"What are you doing? Why aren't you responding?! Is something wrong?! Why are you being mean?!\\\" Nope. You're not gonna do that. Instead, you're gonna pick up a book. If they don't text back, fine. You can't really remember what you texted them anyway.\\n2-2. Don't show a wide range of emotions.\\nThe very definition of nonchalant is to be calm and relaxed, pretty much 24/7. You can show mild interest or happiness – or even a little disappointment or frustration – but underneath it all, you're still cool as a cucumber. It's not about being cold and emotionless, it's about being chill.\\nLet's say your crush told you to back off. Dang. That sucks. You have the urge to cry and whine and eat your feelings, but the calmer side of you knows better. And you're not just going to say, \\\"okay,\\\" and move on like it never happened, because it did. When talking about it with your friends, you say something like, \\\"Man, this stinks. Wish it didn't work out this way, but totally glad I didn't ask him/her out on a date!\\\"\\n2-3. Don't invest in others' opinions.\\nYou know what are opinions are like, right? Everybody has 'em. Trying to please everyone and getting everyone to like you is a lost cause, because it just won't happen. Others' opinions of you don't matter; live will go on no matter what. What's more, will you remember what Katie said about your hair in two weeks' time? Nope. So don't stress it. You're doing your own thing and that's what matters.\\nWhen only your opinion counts, you'll find it easier to stay more relaxed and stress-free. In other words, nonchalant. You control all of the opinions that matter. How awesome of a feeling is that? Everything else isn't on your radar and isn't worth stressing.\\n2-4. Watch your body language.\\nEven if we say the calmest, coolest things, sometimes our bodies give us away. Your voice says, \\\"It's okay. No worries,\\\" when steam is rolling out of your ears and your hands are clenched in fists. No breaking news here: everyone can see through it. So when you're speaking nonchalantly, make sure your body backs it up, too.\\nHow your body is positioned will be determined by the situation you're in. The main way to come off as worried and anxious (and not nonchalant) is if your muscles are tensed. If you think your body might give you away, go through your body from head to toe, consciously checking if each part is relaxed. If it's not, let it loose. The mental nonchalance may come from there.\\n2-5. Develop the perfect \\\"shrug.\\\"\\nWhen someone comes up to you with a hot piece of gossip, this is your go-to response. It doesn't have to be an actual shrug, but it's essentially the equivalent. \\\"Oh, that's nice. Where did you hear that from?\\\" is a good verbal shrug when the other person is expecting you to say, \\\"Ohmigod, are you serious?!\\\" You're essentially letting everything in one ear and out the other.\\nIt's good to have a sort of \\\"mental shrug\\\" attitude, too. The milk spilled? Shrug. Guess you should probably clean that up, huh? You gained a few pounds? Shrug. More salad tomorrow.\\n3. Living a Nonchalant Lifestyle\\n3-1. Pursue your own path.\\nThose individuals out there who are not nonchalant (chalant, if you will), are busy with molding their lives to what others say is okay. They try so hard to make it so everything is just so in order to be accepted and feel loved. In short, they care far too much. And about things that don't matter to boot. Don't copy this lifestyle or anyone else's – pursue your own. You don't care about what anyone else says – you're gonna do what makes you happy.\\nThis helps for a number of reasons. It keeps you busy, it makes you tons of different friends, and it keeps you happy and feeling fulfilled. The bigger your world, the littler everything gets. That one person that could upset you before, can't anymore, because you know a dozen other people just like them.\\n3-2. Realize that you have many seeds.\\nLet's use this example: say you want to start a garden, but you only have one seed. You plant that seed so carefully, watching it day in and day out, worrying that it'll amount to nothing and maybe even smothering it in the process. Luckily, in real life, this isn't your garden. You have so many seeds you barely know what to do with them! You can scatter a few here, a few there, and see what turns up. How much do you care? Well, some. You want your garden to be successful. But are you gonna stay up all night, worrying about one little seed? No way.\\nThis is a fancy way of saying that you have plenty of going on in your life. If one thing is going wrong, oh well. You have a thousand other things going on in your life that are going just fine, thanks. No need to worry. If that \\\"seed\\\" doesn't work out, you'll plant another one.\\n3-3. Let others initiate most of the plans.\\nAnother way to come off as not-so-nonchalant is to be overeager. You're always the one excited and bustling with ideas and trying to get people to do things. Slow down there, tiger. To be nonchalant, let everyone else come to you most of the time. You're a willing participant, but you're just along for the ride. You're not captain of the ship.\\nThat is, most of the time. You don't want to be a dull dud that mooches off of everyone else's good ideas, and you want your friends to know you value them. When you are invited, let them know that you had fun and that the party can be at your house next time, for example. Friendships are two-way streets, after all.\\n3-4. Let it slide.\\nWhen Idina Menzel sang, \\\"Let it go, let it go\\\" she wasn't kidding. Whenever your mood pendulum feels the urge to swing left or right, stop for a second. Count to 10, and let it pass. Concentrate on being calm, cool, and collected. You got this. Sure, you're happy, or sure, you're sad – but you're not gonna let it get to you. What would be the point in that?\\nIf you're struggling with something really bothering you, try telling yourself that you'll worry about it tomorrow. But it off in your mind, knowing that you'll get to it in under 24 hours. Then what happens? Tomorrow comes and either you don't remember to worry about it, or you feel much better (or at least more in control) about what happened.\\nWarnings\\nBe sensitive of people's feelings.Too much nonchalance can offend people and drive them away. Unfortunately, it can drive your crush away too, if you're not being careful.\\nRemember that neutrality is best shown during times of emotional burden. It's the best way to hide your feelings and not freak people out. It can define you as someone tougher and more stone-like.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Constant worry and doubts can nag at you daily and increase your stress levels. These emotions and high stress levels can hinder you from doing or enjoying things you love to do. With a little refocusing of your mind, you can be nonchalant and not let a thing get to you. You're made of strong stuff and no one can bring you down. \\\"Let It Go\\\" isn't your theme song, it's about you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting in the Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a comedic angle to everything.\", \"描述\": \"The benefit of being nonchalant isn't about not being happy – it's about not easily getting upset, angry, or stressed. And how might one do that? Well, when everything is comical is a good start. Just like most things have a silver lining, most things have a comedic edge to them, too.\\nThough it's a simple example, let's say you trip onstage at some award ceremony. Instead of turning bright red in shame, you either brush it off like you meant it to happen and accept your award from the floor, or you put up your arms in a \\\"tada\\\" moment and embrace the spotlight. Let the hooting and hollering commence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pretend you don't have the \\\"shame gene.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"All of us have that little voice in our head that's telling us to look cool and to act socially acceptable. This is generally a smart voice in our heads – it makes us friends, gets us connections, and makes life a little easier. But sometimes it halts us in our tracks, keeps us from growing, and just makes us worried, emotionally erratic, and anxious. Instead, pretend for a moment that you don't have it. How do you act? What is your body telling the world? That's nonchalance.\\nSo much of what we do is to avoid shame and to feel accepted. If that urge wasn't within you, what might you do differently? Would you really care if Joel liked your shoes or if Marcia texted you back? Probably not. Start out by focusing on this just for a few minutes a day until it becomes naturally nearly all the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Worry less about what you can't change.\", \"描述\": \"The world is going to end at some point. Do you worry about that? Probably not. Your mom sometimes wears the ugliest sweaters. Do you worry about that? Nope. If you can't change it, there's no point in worrying about. What can you do? Worry about it...and then just worry some more? Yep. There's no point.\\nSo when your teacher announces a pop quiz? No reaction from you. There's no point in worrying about it – the only thing you can worry about is doing well. And when your crush doesn't text you back? Moving on – you were just feeling it out anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't take yourself (or anything) too seriously.\", \"描述\": \"All of life becomes infinitely easier when you come to the conclusions that nothing is that big of a deal. We are all well-oiled specks of dust on this amazing blue planet, and if today isn't going our way, well, that's just how the cookie crumbles. Bad things will happen and good things will happen. Why get worked up about it?\\nYou've probably met someone who takes themselves way more seriously than they should. They're wound up, constantly caring what other people think of what they're doing, saying, and what they look like. In reality, others aren't really thinking about them at all. Just watching them is exhausting because they're wound up so tight. Be the opposite of that person, and the nonchalance will come.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do yoga.\", \"描述\": \"Along with yoga being a decent way to burn calories and tone your muscles, it's also fantastic at getting rid of all that mind-chatter so many of us have. Many studies have shown that \\\"yogis\\\" suffer from less stress, less anxiety, and even lower blood pressure rates. If you're having trouble changing your thinking patterns, yoga may be able to do it for you.\\nAnother good idea is doing deep breathing exercises. Concentrating on your body and your breathing takes you out of your mind and into the here and now. You focus on more tangible realities, like how the chair you're on feels on your skin and the temperature of the room – and not on whatever's been worrying you lately.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Nonchalant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be the adult version of you.\", \"描述\": \"When we get worried and anxious, we also get self-righteous and selfish. All of a sudden, it's about me, me, me and whatever you're demanding needs to be met and now – in other words, we become children. Recognize this part of you (we all have it), and instead opt for the adult in you (we all have that, too). How would the older, more mature side of you react?\\nLet's say you just sent a text to your boyfriend or girlfriend. They haven't responded yet. The clock is ticking, minutes are passing, and they still haven't responded. The child in you wants to go, \\\"What are you doing? Why aren't you responding?! Is something wrong?! Why are you being mean?!\\\" Nope. You're not gonna do that. Instead, you're gonna pick up a book. If they don't text back, fine. You can't really remember what you texted them anyway.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't show a wide range of emotions.\", \"描述\": \"The very definition of nonchalant is to be calm and relaxed, pretty much 24/7. You can show mild interest or happiness – or even a little disappointment or frustration – but underneath it all, you're still cool as a cucumber. It's not about being cold and emotionless, it's about being chill.\\nLet's say your crush told you to back off. Dang. That sucks. You have the urge to cry and whine and eat your feelings, but the calmer side of you knows better. And you're not just going to say, \\\"okay,\\\" and move on like it never happened, because it did. When talking about it with your friends, you say something like, \\\"Man, this stinks. Wish it didn't work out this way, but totally glad I didn't ask him/her out on a date!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't invest in others' opinions.\", \"描述\": \"You know what are opinions are like, right? Everybody has 'em. Trying to please everyone and getting everyone to like you is a lost cause, because it just won't happen. Others' opinions of you don't matter; live will go on no matter what. What's more, will you remember what Katie said about your hair in two weeks' time? Nope. So don't stress it. You're doing your own thing and that's what matters.\\nWhen only your opinion counts, you'll find it easier to stay more relaxed and stress-free. In other words, nonchalant. You control all of the opinions that matter. How awesome of a feeling is that? Everything else isn't on your radar and isn't worth stressing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Even if we say the calmest, coolest things, sometimes our bodies give us away. Your voice says, \\\"It's okay. No worries,\\\" when steam is rolling out of your ears and your hands are clenched in fists. No breaking news here: everyone can see through it. So when you're speaking nonchalantly, make sure your body backs it up, too.\\nHow your body is positioned will be determined by the situation you're in. The main way to come off as worried and anxious (and not nonchalant) is if your muscles are tensed. If you think your body might give you away, go through your body from head to toe, consciously checking if each part is relaxed. If it's not, let it loose. The mental nonchalance may come from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop the perfect \\\"shrug.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"When someone comes up to you with a hot piece of gossip, this is your go-to response. It doesn't have to be an actual shrug, but it's essentially the equivalent. \\\"Oh, that's nice. Where did you hear that from?\\\" is a good verbal shrug when the other person is expecting you to say, \\\"Ohmigod, are you serious?!\\\" You're essentially letting everything in one ear and out the other.\\nIt's good to have a sort of \\\"mental shrug\\\" attitude, too. The milk spilled? Shrug. Guess you should probably clean that up, huh? You gained a few pounds? Shrug. More salad tomorrow.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Living a Nonchalant Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pursue your own path.\", \"描述\": \"Those individuals out there who are not nonchalant (chalant, if you will), are busy with molding their lives to what others say is okay. They try so hard to make it so everything is just so in order to be accepted and feel loved. In short, they care far too much. And about things that don't matter to boot. Don't copy this lifestyle or anyone else's – pursue your own. You don't care about what anyone else says – you're gonna do what makes you happy.\\nThis helps for a number of reasons. It keeps you busy, it makes you tons of different friends, and it keeps you happy and feeling fulfilled. The bigger your world, the littler everything gets. That one person that could upset you before, can't anymore, because you know a dozen other people just like them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Realize that you have many seeds.\", \"描述\": \"Let's use this example: say you want to start a garden, but you only have one seed. You plant that seed so carefully, watching it day in and day out, worrying that it'll amount to nothing and maybe even smothering it in the process. Luckily, in real life, this isn't your garden. You have so many seeds you barely know what to do with them! You can scatter a few here, a few there, and see what turns up. How much do you care? Well, some. You want your garden to be successful. But are you gonna stay up all night, worrying about one little seed? No way.\\nThis is a fancy way of saying that you have plenty of going on in your life. If one thing is going wrong, oh well. You have a thousand other things going on in your life that are going just fine, thanks. No need to worry. If that \\\"seed\\\" doesn't work out, you'll plant another one.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let others initiate most of the plans.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to come off as not-so-nonchalant is to be overeager. You're always the one excited and bustling with ideas and trying to get people to do things. Slow down there, tiger. To be nonchalant, let everyone else come to you most of the time. You're a willing participant, but you're just along for the ride. You're not captain of the ship.\\nThat is, most of the time. You don't want to be a dull dud that mooches off of everyone else's good ideas, and you want your friends to know you value them. When you are invited, let them know that you had fun and that the party can be at your house next time, for example. Friendships are two-way streets, after all.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let it slide.\", \"描述\": \"When Idina Menzel sang, \\\"Let it go, let it go\\\" she wasn't kidding. Whenever your mood pendulum feels the urge to swing left or right, stop for a second. Count to 10, and let it pass. Concentrate on being calm, cool, and collected. You got this. Sure, you're happy, or sure, you're sad – but you're not gonna let it get to you. What would be the point in that?\\nIf you're struggling with something really bothering you, try telling yourself that you'll worry about it tomorrow. But it off in your mind, knowing that you'll get to it in under 24 hours. Then what happens? Tomorrow comes and either you don't remember to worry about it, or you feel much better (or at least more in control) about what happened.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Be sensitive of people's feelings.Too much nonchalance can offend people and drive them away. Unfortunately, it can drive your crush away too, if you're not being careful.\\n\", \"Remember that neutrality is best shown during times of emotional burden. It's the best way to hide your feelings and not freak people out. It can define you as someone tougher and more stone-like.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,998 | How to Be Normal | 1. Being Confident in Yourself
1-1. Have healthy regard for others' opinions.
If you can reduce the amount that you worry about what other people think about you, you'll be happier and less stressed. You'll also appear more normal because you'll be more confident about yourself. The less you worry about being normal, the more confident you will be (and appear). Further, this gives you more room to genuinely care about people rather than worrying about what they think of you.
1-2. Use your body language to convey confidence.
Body language can make you appear confident and self-assured even when you're feeling shy and out of place. New evidence shows that striking a "power pose" can change your brain chemistry, releasing testosterone, which makes you feel powerful, and reducing cortisol, a hormone related to feeling stressed.
Confident body language means you "open" yourself up. Uncross your arms and legs, pull your shoulders back – don't assume the hunched or closed-off posture that increases your stress hormones.
Before entering into a situation that makes you feel nervous (a new social setting, a classroom, an interaction with people who have ridiculed you), go somewhere private and strike a power pose for at least two minutes.
Try the "Wonder Woman" pose: throw your shoulders back and place your hands on your hips, place your feet shoulder-width apart, and hold your head up high.
Even imagining yourself in a confident, powerful pose can make a difference. Picture yourself sitting with your legs propped up on the table, leaning back in your chair with your hands behind your head.
Try standing always with your shoulders back and a hand on your hip.
1-3. Rationalize your choices.
If you find yourself wondering, for example, if your cell phone holster is abnormal, step back and evaluate it. If it is a necessary evil for your job or lifestyle, it seems like a logical accessory to have. If you could just as easily keep your cell phone in your pocket, maybe it is not worth putting that out there for people to judge. These rationalizations will make you more deliberate in your habits and actions, and therefore more confident.
1-4. Be comfortable in the way you communicate.
You should be aware of the way you interact with others, but know that others are less aware of your idiosyncratic tendencies. As you are working on this, try to ask questions and let others do the talking. Tend toward conversation topics you are comfortable with, so you feel the spotlight less.
1-5. Take care of your body.
Indeed, you don't need to be tall and skinny to fit in. However, diet and exercise can go a long way towards improving the way your body feels and functions. The confidence that comes from feeling better will help you accept yourself and appear outwardly confident to those around you. Also, exercise improves your mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Eat healthy foods. Try to eat a healthy mix of proteins, carbs, fruits, vegetables, and fats every day. You don't have to be a health freak to be healthy – it's okay to eat a single ice cream cone or a bag of potato chips every once in a while. Just try not to overindulge. Your occasional treats will be more meaningful if you eat them sparingly.
Get plenty of exercise. If you spend lots of time watching TV, get off the sofa and get some fresh air! Ride your bike, swim, or take a walk. Physical activity will keep you healthy and in shape.
1-6. Try new things regularly.
Many people are resistant to change. However, trying new things is vital for expanding our horizons. Whether you end up liking it or not, you'll learn something about yourself and the activity. Try out a new hobby with a friend so you are more comfortable.
2. Adjusting to Your Surroundings
2-1. Find similar people.
Especially if you are from another culture, you may have trouble establishing a support network when you are new to an area. Look for those who come from a similar background. While you acclimate to your new environment, you will benefit from being around people who know where you are coming from. This can help you feel normal, supported, and understood.
Try searching for meetup groups online, looking for groups at your local community center, collegiate cultural groups, or ask at your place of worship.
2-2. Mirror the dress of those around you.
Trying not to stand out negatively seems to have much to do with clothing. Beyond wearing the costume of the culture in which you live, try not to look more or less casual than those around you. This is especially important in the workplace, but advisable in social circles as well.
Mirroring can help build your self-esteem – when you see yourself reflected in the dress or behavior of someone you like and admire, it can increase your confidence and lessen your insecurities.
Until you start feeling confident and comfortable taking more risks with your wardrobe, the affirmation provided by mirroring can help you feel less vulnerable and more connected to your peers.
2-3. Read your environment for context.
Adjusting to your surroundings doesn’t only apply to new cultures, but everyday situations as well. When entering a room, observe others in the room. If everyone seems to be experiencing a strong emotion, don't do something typically associated with the opposite emotion. You can further upset and alienate a room of people crying by telling a lewd joke.
Notice the body language and expressions of those in the room. Are they open and smiling? Or are they closed off and frowning? Do they appear relaxed and at ease, or rigid and tense?
Are people speaking in hushed tones, at a normal volume, or shouting or laughing loudly?
2-4. Engage in similar behaviors and activities as those around you.
Part of getting people to feel like you’re "one of them" is simply behaving similarly. Be careful with this, though. Just because an activity is a norm, it doesn’t mean that everyone is not in the wrong. Stay away from unsafe or unhealthy behaviors, like binge drinking, or doing illegal drugs, even if it means you don’t quite fit in.
If everyone in your group is obsessed with football, try taking an interest, too. Attend a few games and learn some of the basics. If it truly bores you, then you don't have to stick with it, but make the effort.
3. Having Good Interpersonal Skills
3-1. Participate in social activities.
Paradoxically, you can stand out by avoiding social activities. Try not to lose friends or alienate coworkers by rejecting their invitations over and over again. Social outings can be intimidating, especially if they're with people you don't know well. You may not always be invited to participate in your idea of a perfect evening. However, the ability to take part in a wide range of social activities will make you seem more normal and approachable.
3-2. Cultivate an active social life.
The easiest way to do this is to be open to making friends wherever you go. Try not to worry too much about cliques, or whether someone is your type. If you get along with them, your friendship will be perfectly natural and normal. Having friends will make you appear more approachable.
3-3. Be polite
Society thinks highly of people who are pleasant to be around. It is natural to be crass with your close friends with whom you feel comfortable. When aiming to make a good impression, however, try to be more polite.
3-4. Don't share too much too soon.
Meeting someone new is exciting, but there is a natural period of "ice breaker" discussions before you are comfortable with each other. Don't bring up intimate, personal topics (like health issues, sexual preferences, traumatic events, etc.) in conversation until you know someone. While you are getting the feel for a new friend, filter your language to avoid alienating them.
3-5. Control your emotions.
Strong emotions are normal, even desirable. However, big, outsize displays of emotion (especially anger and sadness) can make people feel uncomfortable. Strive to regulate your emotional responses to small problems and constructively express your feelings. Don't shout, throw things, curse, or become violent. Whenever possible, express your displeasure calmly, quietly, and politely.
If you get angry easily or have reason to think you're depressed, don't be afraid to contact a therapist or counselor. You aren’t a "crazy" person for talking to a professional therapist. They can be simply a helpful voice as you go through a difficult time, or something much more important.
3-6. Moderate your opinions.
It's normal to have intense opinions about certain things - political issues, for instance. It's even OK to engage in well-reasoned, sensible debates with other people about these things. However, if you frequently ridicule or attack people because their opinions are different than yours, you might quickly find yourself a bit of a social pariah. Instead, try to at least listen to others' opinions and be open-minded.
4. Being Clean and Organized
4-1. Keep your house or apartment clean and neat
Houses littered with dirt or candy wrappers will make a bad impression on your guests. Most people take pride in presenting a reasonably clean, polished exterior to the world. Show your guests that you are capable of basic household chores.
4-2. Strive for general neatness.
Being a slob is evident outside the home. Still, this is a balancing act, because it is easy to come off as uptight. Try to find a compromise between obsessing over neatness and completely ignoring it.
4-3. Dedicate time to your grooming and hygiene.
It’s no mystery why human beings developed hygienic daily routines. Practicing regular hygiene and grooming is important to your appearance as well as your mental and physical health. Hygienic routines are an effortless way to keep you looking clean – and those around you will appreciate your efforts.
Brush and floss your teeth. Adding flossing to your dental care routine will go a long way in keeping your teeth in tiptop shape.
Put on deodorant before you leave the house. Bad body odor is a quick way to make a bad impression on the people around you. If you have extreme body odor, see a doctor for prescription deodorant.
Even if you wear your hair long, get regular haircuts. It doesn’t have to be often, but well-maintained hair will impress those around you.
Tips
See a therapist or trusted friend discuss your normality with them, and your perception of how "normal" you are. They will be able to advise you on what to do in certain situations.
Warnings
Don't let anyone else change who you are! Avoid making changes to your lifestyle unless, upon reflection, you decide they are okay with you.
Participating in social activities doesn't mean giving in to peer pressure. Avoid social groups or outings that try to force you to conform or engage in unsafe behavior. True friends won't force you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Confident in Yourself\\n1-1. Have healthy regard for others' opinions.\\nIf you can reduce the amount that you worry about what other people think about you, you'll be happier and less stressed. You'll also appear more normal because you'll be more confident about yourself. The less you worry about being normal, the more confident you will be (and appear). Further, this gives you more room to genuinely care about people rather than worrying about what they think of you.\\n1-2. Use your body language to convey confidence.\\nBody language can make you appear confident and self-assured even when you're feeling shy and out of place. New evidence shows that striking a \\\"power pose\\\" can change your brain chemistry, releasing testosterone, which makes you feel powerful, and reducing cortisol, a hormone related to feeling stressed.\\nConfident body language means you \\\"open\\\" yourself up. Uncross your arms and legs, pull your shoulders back – don't assume the hunched or closed-off posture that increases your stress hormones.\\nBefore entering into a situation that makes you feel nervous (a new social setting, a classroom, an interaction with people who have ridiculed you), go somewhere private and strike a power pose for at least two minutes.\\nTry the \\\"Wonder Woman\\\" pose: throw your shoulders back and place your hands on your hips, place your feet shoulder-width apart, and hold your head up high.\\nEven imagining yourself in a confident, powerful pose can make a difference. Picture yourself sitting with your legs propped up on the table, leaning back in your chair with your hands behind your head.\\nTry standing always with your shoulders back and a hand on your hip.\\n1-3. Rationalize your choices.\\nIf you find yourself wondering, for example, if your cell phone holster is abnormal, step back and evaluate it. If it is a necessary evil for your job or lifestyle, it seems like a logical accessory to have. If you could just as easily keep your cell phone in your pocket, maybe it is not worth putting that out there for people to judge. These rationalizations will make you more deliberate in your habits and actions, and therefore more confident.\\n1-4. Be comfortable in the way you communicate.\\nYou should be aware of the way you interact with others, but know that others are less aware of your idiosyncratic tendencies. As you are working on this, try to ask questions and let others do the talking. Tend toward conversation topics you are comfortable with, so you feel the spotlight less.\\n1-5. Take care of your body.\\nIndeed, you don't need to be tall and skinny to fit in. However, diet and exercise can go a long way towards improving the way your body feels and functions. The confidence that comes from feeling better will help you accept yourself and appear outwardly confident to those around you. Also, exercise improves your mental health and emotional wellbeing. \\nEat healthy foods. Try to eat a healthy mix of proteins, carbs, fruits, vegetables, and fats every day. You don't have to be a health freak to be healthy – it's okay to eat a single ice cream cone or a bag of potato chips every once in a while. Just try not to overindulge. Your occasional treats will be more meaningful if you eat them sparingly.\\nGet plenty of exercise. If you spend lots of time watching TV, get off the sofa and get some fresh air! Ride your bike, swim, or take a walk. Physical activity will keep you healthy and in shape.\\n1-6. Try new things regularly.\\nMany people are resistant to change. However, trying new things is vital for expanding our horizons. Whether you end up liking it or not, you'll learn something about yourself and the activity. Try out a new hobby with a friend so you are more comfortable.\\n2. Adjusting to Your Surroundings\\n2-1. Find similar people.\\nEspecially if you are from another culture, you may have trouble establishing a support network when you are new to an area. Look for those who come from a similar background. While you acclimate to your new environment, you will benefit from being around people who know where you are coming from. This can help you feel normal, supported, and understood.\\nTry searching for meetup groups online, looking for groups at your local community center, collegiate cultural groups, or ask at your place of worship.\\n2-2. Mirror the dress of those around you.\\nTrying not to stand out negatively seems to have much to do with clothing. Beyond wearing the costume of the culture in which you live, try not to look more or less casual than those around you. This is especially important in the workplace, but advisable in social circles as well.\\nMirroring can help build your self-esteem – when you see yourself reflected in the dress or behavior of someone you like and admire, it can increase your confidence and lessen your insecurities.\\nUntil you start feeling confident and comfortable taking more risks with your wardrobe, the affirmation provided by mirroring can help you feel less vulnerable and more connected to your peers.\\n2-3. Read your environment for context.\\nAdjusting to your surroundings doesn’t only apply to new cultures, but everyday situations as well. When entering a room, observe others in the room. If everyone seems to be experiencing a strong emotion, don't do something typically associated with the opposite emotion. You can further upset and alienate a room of people crying by telling a lewd joke.\\nNotice the body language and expressions of those in the room. Are they open and smiling? Or are they closed off and frowning? Do they appear relaxed and at ease, or rigid and tense?\\nAre people speaking in hushed tones, at a normal volume, or shouting or laughing loudly?\\n2-4. Engage in similar behaviors and activities as those around you.\\nPart of getting people to feel like you’re \\\"one of them\\\" is simply behaving similarly. Be careful with this, though. Just because an activity is a norm, it doesn’t mean that everyone is not in the wrong. Stay away from unsafe or unhealthy behaviors, like binge drinking, or doing illegal drugs, even if it means you don’t quite fit in.\\nIf everyone in your group is obsessed with football, try taking an interest, too. Attend a few games and learn some of the basics. If it truly bores you, then you don't have to stick with it, but make the effort.\\n3. Having Good Interpersonal Skills\\n3-1. Participate in social activities.\\nParadoxically, you can stand out by avoiding social activities. Try not to lose friends or alienate coworkers by rejecting their invitations over and over again. Social outings can be intimidating, especially if they're with people you don't know well. You may not always be invited to participate in your idea of a perfect evening. However, the ability to take part in a wide range of social activities will make you seem more normal and approachable.\\n3-2. Cultivate an active social life.\\nThe easiest way to do this is to be open to making friends wherever you go. Try not to worry too much about cliques, or whether someone is your type. If you get along with them, your friendship will be perfectly natural and normal. Having friends will make you appear more approachable.\\n3-3. Be polite\\nSociety thinks highly of people who are pleasant to be around. It is natural to be crass with your close friends with whom you feel comfortable. When aiming to make a good impression, however, try to be more polite.\\n3-4. Don't share too much too soon.\\nMeeting someone new is exciting, but there is a natural period of \\\"ice breaker\\\" discussions before you are comfortable with each other. Don't bring up intimate, personal topics (like health issues, sexual preferences, traumatic events, etc.) in conversation until you know someone. While you are getting the feel for a new friend, filter your language to avoid alienating them.\\n3-5. Control your emotions.\\nStrong emotions are normal, even desirable. However, big, outsize displays of emotion (especially anger and sadness) can make people feel uncomfortable. Strive to regulate your emotional responses to small problems and constructively express your feelings. Don't shout, throw things, curse, or become violent. Whenever possible, express your displeasure calmly, quietly, and politely.\\nIf you get angry easily or have reason to think you're depressed, don't be afraid to contact a therapist or counselor. You aren’t a \\\"crazy\\\" person for talking to a professional therapist. They can be simply a helpful voice as you go through a difficult time, or something much more important.\\n3-6. Moderate your opinions.\\nIt's normal to have intense opinions about certain things - political issues, for instance. It's even OK to engage in well-reasoned, sensible debates with other people about these things. However, if you frequently ridicule or attack people because their opinions are different than yours, you might quickly find yourself a bit of a social pariah. Instead, try to at least listen to others' opinions and be open-minded.\\n4. Being Clean and Organized\\n4-1. Keep your house or apartment clean and neat\\nHouses littered with dirt or candy wrappers will make a bad impression on your guests. Most people take pride in presenting a reasonably clean, polished exterior to the world. Show your guests that you are capable of basic household chores.\\n4-2. Strive for general neatness.\\nBeing a slob is evident outside the home. Still, this is a balancing act, because it is easy to come off as uptight. Try to find a compromise between obsessing over neatness and completely ignoring it.\\n4-3. Dedicate time to your grooming and hygiene.\\nIt’s no mystery why human beings developed hygienic daily routines. Practicing regular hygiene and grooming is important to your appearance as well as your mental and physical health. Hygienic routines are an effortless way to keep you looking clean – and those around you will appreciate your efforts. \\nBrush and floss your teeth. Adding flossing to your dental care routine will go a long way in keeping your teeth in tiptop shape.\\nPut on deodorant before you leave the house. Bad body odor is a quick way to make a bad impression on the people around you. If you have extreme body odor, see a doctor for prescription deodorant.\\nEven if you wear your hair long, get regular haircuts. It doesn’t have to be often, but well-maintained hair will impress those around you.\\nTips\\nSee a therapist or trusted friend discuss your normality with them, and your perception of how \\\"normal\\\" you are. They will be able to advise you on what to do in certain situations.\\nWarnings\\nDon't let anyone else change who you are! Avoid making changes to your lifestyle unless, upon reflection, you decide they are okay with you.\\nParticipating in social activities doesn't mean giving in to peer pressure. Avoid social groups or outings that try to force you to conform or engage in unsafe behavior. True friends won't force you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Normality changes over time and based on where you are. There is no one set of principles that make you normal. However, there are ways to work on fitting in with your surroundings if you have trouble with that. Focus first on being confident in yourself, and the rest will follow.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Confident in Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have healthy regard for others' opinions.\", \"描述\": \"If you can reduce the amount that you worry about what other people think about you, you'll be happier and less stressed. You'll also appear more normal because you'll be more confident about yourself. The less you worry about being normal, the more confident you will be (and appear). Further, this gives you more room to genuinely care about people rather than worrying about what they think of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use your body language to convey confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Body language can make you appear confident and self-assured even when you're feeling shy and out of place. New evidence shows that striking a \\\"power pose\\\" can change your brain chemistry, releasing testosterone, which makes you feel powerful, and reducing cortisol, a hormone related to feeling stressed.\\nConfident body language means you \\\"open\\\" yourself up. Uncross your arms and legs, pull your shoulders back – don't assume the hunched or closed-off posture that increases your stress hormones.\\nBefore entering into a situation that makes you feel nervous (a new social setting, a classroom, an interaction with people who have ridiculed you), go somewhere private and strike a power pose for at least two minutes.\\nTry the \\\"Wonder Woman\\\" pose: throw your shoulders back and place your hands on your hips, place your feet shoulder-width apart, and hold your head up high.\\nEven imagining yourself in a confident, powerful pose can make a difference. Picture yourself sitting with your legs propped up on the table, leaning back in your chair with your hands behind your head.\\nTry standing always with your shoulders back and a hand on your hip.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rationalize your choices.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself wondering, for example, if your cell phone holster is abnormal, step back and evaluate it. If it is a necessary evil for your job or lifestyle, it seems like a logical accessory to have. If you could just as easily keep your cell phone in your pocket, maybe it is not worth putting that out there for people to judge. These rationalizations will make you more deliberate in your habits and actions, and therefore more confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be comfortable in the way you communicate.\", \"描述\": \"You should be aware of the way you interact with others, but know that others are less aware of your idiosyncratic tendencies. As you are working on this, try to ask questions and let others do the talking. Tend toward conversation topics you are comfortable with, so you feel the spotlight less.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take care of your body.\", \"描述\": \"Indeed, you don't need to be tall and skinny to fit in. However, diet and exercise can go a long way towards improving the way your body feels and functions. The confidence that comes from feeling better will help you accept yourself and appear outwardly confident to those around you. Also, exercise improves your mental health and emotional wellbeing. \\nEat healthy foods. Try to eat a healthy mix of proteins, carbs, fruits, vegetables, and fats every day. You don't have to be a health freak to be healthy – it's okay to eat a single ice cream cone or a bag of potato chips every once in a while. Just try not to overindulge. Your occasional treats will be more meaningful if you eat them sparingly.\\nGet plenty of exercise. If you spend lots of time watching TV, get off the sofa and get some fresh air! Ride your bike, swim, or take a walk. Physical activity will keep you healthy and in shape.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try new things regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Many people are resistant to change. However, trying new things is vital for expanding our horizons. Whether you end up liking it or not, you'll learn something about yourself and the activity. Try out a new hobby with a friend so you are more comfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adjusting to Your Surroundings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find similar people.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if you are from another culture, you may have trouble establishing a support network when you are new to an area. Look for those who come from a similar background. While you acclimate to your new environment, you will benefit from being around people who know where you are coming from. This can help you feel normal, supported, and understood.\\nTry searching for meetup groups online, looking for groups at your local community center, collegiate cultural groups, or ask at your place of worship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mirror the dress of those around you.\", \"描述\": \"Trying not to stand out negatively seems to have much to do with clothing. Beyond wearing the costume of the culture in which you live, try not to look more or less casual than those around you. This is especially important in the workplace, but advisable in social circles as well.\\nMirroring can help build your self-esteem – when you see yourself reflected in the dress or behavior of someone you like and admire, it can increase your confidence and lessen your insecurities.\\nUntil you start feeling confident and comfortable taking more risks with your wardrobe, the affirmation provided by mirroring can help you feel less vulnerable and more connected to your peers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read your environment for context.\", \"描述\": \"Adjusting to your surroundings doesn’t only apply to new cultures, but everyday situations as well. When entering a room, observe others in the room. If everyone seems to be experiencing a strong emotion, don't do something typically associated with the opposite emotion. You can further upset and alienate a room of people crying by telling a lewd joke.\\nNotice the body language and expressions of those in the room. Are they open and smiling? Or are they closed off and frowning? Do they appear relaxed and at ease, or rigid and tense?\\nAre people speaking in hushed tones, at a normal volume, or shouting or laughing loudly?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Engage in similar behaviors and activities as those around you.\", \"描述\": \"Part of getting people to feel like you’re \\\"one of them\\\" is simply behaving similarly. Be careful with this, though. Just because an activity is a norm, it doesn’t mean that everyone is not in the wrong. Stay away from unsafe or unhealthy behaviors, like binge drinking, or doing illegal drugs, even if it means you don’t quite fit in.\\nIf everyone in your group is obsessed with football, try taking an interest, too. Attend a few games and learn some of the basics. If it truly bores you, then you don't have to stick with it, but make the effort.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having Good Interpersonal Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Participate in social activities.\", \"描述\": \"Paradoxically, you can stand out by avoiding social activities. Try not to lose friends or alienate coworkers by rejecting their invitations over and over again. Social outings can be intimidating, especially if they're with people you don't know well. You may not always be invited to participate in your idea of a perfect evening. However, the ability to take part in a wide range of social activities will make you seem more normal and approachable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivate an active social life.\", \"描述\": \"The easiest way to do this is to be open to making friends wherever you go. Try not to worry too much about cliques, or whether someone is your type. If you get along with them, your friendship will be perfectly natural and normal. Having friends will make you appear more approachable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be polite\", \"描述\": \"Society thinks highly of people who are pleasant to be around. It is natural to be crass with your close friends with whom you feel comfortable. When aiming to make a good impression, however, try to be more polite.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't share too much too soon.\", \"描述\": \"Meeting someone new is exciting, but there is a natural period of \\\"ice breaker\\\" discussions before you are comfortable with each other. Don't bring up intimate, personal topics (like health issues, sexual preferences, traumatic events, etc.) in conversation until you know someone. While you are getting the feel for a new friend, filter your language to avoid alienating them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Control your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"Strong emotions are normal, even desirable. However, big, outsize displays of emotion (especially anger and sadness) can make people feel uncomfortable. Strive to regulate your emotional responses to small problems and constructively express your feelings. Don't shout, throw things, curse, or become violent. Whenever possible, express your displeasure calmly, quietly, and politely.\\nIf you get angry easily or have reason to think you're depressed, don't be afraid to contact a therapist or counselor. You aren’t a \\\"crazy\\\" person for talking to a professional therapist. They can be simply a helpful voice as you go through a difficult time, or something much more important.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Moderate your opinions.\", \"描述\": \"It's normal to have intense opinions about certain things - political issues, for instance. It's even OK to engage in well-reasoned, sensible debates with other people about these things. However, if you frequently ridicule or attack people because their opinions are different than yours, you might quickly find yourself a bit of a social pariah. Instead, try to at least listen to others' opinions and be open-minded.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Clean and Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your house or apartment clean and neat\", \"描述\": \"Houses littered with dirt or candy wrappers will make a bad impression on your guests. Most people take pride in presenting a reasonably clean, polished exterior to the world. Show your guests that you are capable of basic household chores.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strive for general neatness.\", \"描述\": \"Being a slob is evident outside the home. Still, this is a balancing act, because it is easy to come off as uptight. Try to find a compromise between obsessing over neatness and completely ignoring it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dedicate time to your grooming and hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"It’s no mystery why human beings developed hygienic daily routines. Practicing regular hygiene and grooming is important to your appearance as well as your mental and physical health. Hygienic routines are an effortless way to keep you looking clean – and those around you will appreciate your efforts. \\nBrush and floss your teeth. Adding flossing to your dental care routine will go a long way in keeping your teeth in tiptop shape.\\nPut on deodorant before you leave the house. Bad body odor is a quick way to make a bad impression on the people around you. If you have extreme body odor, see a doctor for prescription deodorant.\\nEven if you wear your hair long, get regular haircuts. It doesn’t have to be often, but well-maintained hair will impress those around you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"See a therapist or trusted friend discuss your normality with them, and your perception of how \\\"normal\\\" you are. They will be able to advise you on what to do in certain situations.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't let anyone else change who you are! Avoid making changes to your lifestyle unless, upon reflection, you decide they are okay with you.\\n\", \"Participating in social activities doesn't mean giving in to peer pressure. Avoid social groups or outings that try to force you to conform or engage in unsafe behavior. True friends won't force you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
3,999 | How to Be Obedient | 1. Being Obedient to Your Parents
1-1. Be respectful.
Part of being obedient is showing respect to your parents, honoring their ideas about what's best for you, and showing that you think they are worth listening to. Make sure that you listen when they talk and respond when they ask you to respond.
Don’t ignore them in public. When you are out with your parents you might feel a bit embarrassed by them, but pretending that you don't know them or that you aren't with them is rude in the extreme. It also has the potential to hurt your parents. They don't say that you embarrass them, so why think that way towards them?
Don’t roll your eyes when they ask you to do something. If you don't like what they are asking you, the polite way to respond is to ask them to present your feelings on why you don't want to do what they want you to. Think of all the times when you were a child and you asked your parents to do something for you and they did it without complaining.
1-2. Be attentive to your chores.
Parents tend not to ask you to do a ton of chores. In fact, they probably work a lot harder than you do. Obedience means doing what you see needs to be done without your parents even asking you to.
Avoid making your parents ask you to do something more than once. Everyone gets distracted occasionally, so you might not always remember to do a chore without being asked. Try to avoid having this be a typical thing.
Do what you can to help out around the house without being specifically ordered. For example: offer to babysit your younger sister so that your parents can have a night off. Or find out when garbage day is and take the garbage out before your mom has to.
1-3. Consider why your parents say no, instead of arguing.
Parents can have all kinds of rules about what they think you should or shouldn't be doing. You might not always like or agree with these rules, but an obedient child considers their parents' point of view instead of fighting about it.
Don’t give in to the knee-jerk reaction to argue with them or express your disappointment or displeasure. If you really need to respond with an argument, make it a debate and not a dispute--try writing or emailing them a letter or message explaining your point of view, rather than shouting and being uncompassionate.
If they say no to you hanging out with a friend on a Thursday night, they might be concerned about you not completing your homework on time or that you'll be too tired in school the next day.
1-4. Express your disagreement in a polite manner.
There are times when your parents might ask you to do something unreasonable, or place unreasonable restrictions on you. In many cases calmly discussing why you feel their demands are unreasonable, or offering alternatives or a compromise, can go a long way towards getting you what you want without being disobedient.
Calmly explain your side of things. Give facts and don’t rely only on feelings.
Obedience doesn’t mean that you don’t have a mind of your own and it certainly doesn’t mean that you will always need to agree with your parents. But if you disagree and want to express your disagreements, you will have to do it politely but firmly.
1-5. Be polite.
Being polite to your parents is a sign of respect and obedience. You also want to be polite to other people: strangers, family members, friends. This way you'll be demonstrating how well your parents raised you.
Make sure that you ask permission to be excused at the dinner table.
Say “please” and “thank you” even for basic things.
Hold doors open for people, offer to help people with their groceries.
1-6. Never rebel against your parents.
You can disagree with them, but if they give you a reasonable instruction and you go against them simply to infuriate or upset them, this is not only immoral, but completely sinful. Think of the consequences before you decide to make a decision.
2. Being Obedient to Authority Figures
2-1. Pay attention to what they have to say.
When you're trying to be obedient to an authority figure, like your teacher or manager, then you need to pay attention when they are talking. You want to show that you're interested.
In class look at the teacher while they’re talking. Take down notes when they give important information and look like you're interested.
Make sure that you are listening to your boss when they are giving you instructions. Again, eye contact is important.
2-2. Discuss concerns or issues in private.
If there is a problem with an authority figure you should never bring it up in front of people. Instead, ask them if you can talk to them either in their office or after class.
2-3. Know how to obey authority.
You should always respect authority, but never worship authority. Respecting authority means you recognize that the superior's authority and obey his or her reasonable rules. However, people who respect authority rarely sit quietly and suffer it if an authority figure treats them poorly or unfairly. People who revere authority, on the other hand, literally worship the authority figures; they think that, just because the superior has authority, whatever he or she says must be right. Therefore, revering authority often includes suffering injustices, while respecting authority only gives you the reputation of being respectful, kind and considerate--something worth going for.
For example: if you feel that your teacher gave you the wrong grade for an assignment, you would go and discuss it with them after class. Present some clear and concise reasons why you feel you deserve a different grade (and no, "worked really hard on it" is not a reason).
2-4. Understand what is expected from you.
It's hard to be obedient to someone if you're not really sure what they want from you. This is part of paying attention to what your authority figure says, because then you know what they need from you. If you happen to disagree with an authority figure, do not be impolite. Merely talk about it courteously, and you may end up getting your way.
If you're being obedient to your teacher then you'll need to stay on top of things like homework, classwork, any major projects, what they require in terms of in-class participation.
If you're being obedient to a superior at work then you're going to need to know what's expected from you in terms of your job. You're going to need to pay attention to long-term projects, and make sure to not fritter away your time at work surfing on the internet.
2-5. Make sure you complete tasks on time.
Once you know what is expected of you it's time to fulfill those expectations in a timely manner. If there is a legitimate reason why a certain task or assignment isn't going to be completed on time, make sure that you inform your authority figure.
2-6. Avoid backtalk.
Fighting or bickering with your boss or your teacher is the exact opposite of being obedient. Particularly in a classroom or work situation, your opinion on the authority figure isn't going to be that important.
Backtalk can also be nonverbal, such as rolling your eyes or smirking when they say something you disagree with or find to be stupid.
If they tell you to do something don't say something like "This is totally unnecessary." If you have questions or want to know why, ask respectfully but assertively.
2-7. Act like you respect them.
Respect and obedience have a tendency to go hand in hand. To be obedient to someone you need to act like you respect them as an authority figure. When they tell you to do something, you do it, as long as it is reasonable, moral and harmless.
Be polite and considerate. Say "please" and "thank you". However, remember never to apologize for something or assume responsibility for it if you did not do it.
2-8. Never use blind obedience.
If your authority figures told you to jump off a cliff, would you still do it obediently? Just like everything else, obedience has its limits. If you cross these limits, you are turning from being disciplined to being unwise and foolish. Watch out when you obey your authority figures--they may be authoritative, but few are completely virtuous.
3. Being Obedient in a Religion
3-1. Cultivate humility.
When you're obedient in following the mandates of your faith it means that you're also being humble. You accept that your god is helping to direct your life and that you accept both the good and the bad that comes.
Try to avoid taking ownership of the things that happen in your life. When something good happens, remind yourself that it was through the grace of your Great Teacher. If something unhappy happens it is a learning experience brought about by Him or Her, too.
3-2. Commit to your faith.
Most faiths and religions have specific rules and regulations that a practitioner is required to follow. Committing to your faith means giving up control of your life (not in a bad way) and understanding that what happens is coming from your Holy Teacher.
3-3. Make choices in line with your faith.
Again, because of the rules and regulations in different faiths there are going to be certain choices that will be difficult, because they will make you choose between a life that might be materially easier, but not spiritually acceptable. Obedience to your faith means choosing the latter path.
For example: such a choice could be sacrificing your career path, because it doesn’t align with your beliefs.
It could also be something like taking significant time out of your day to incorporate prayer.
3-4. Avoid judging other people based on their beliefs and obedience.
Obedience to your faith is a personal thing. It means that you are in connection with your god and your faith and that can be wonderful.
It does not mean that you have carte blanche to criticize other people's beliefs or infringe on their way of living.
Tips
Obedience is a very personal thing, especially as regards obedience to your god. You should avoid making value judgements about other people's faith, other people's families, because you have no idea what they believe or how they see obedience.
If you have an argument with your parents, remain calm. Go to your room immediately as the fight begins. Say no more than one sentence, and do NOT cry or implore. One hour later, go back to your parents and observe them. If they are calm, approach them and tell them that you understand what you did wrong (if you did something wrong). Apologize if you did something wrong, and ask for an apology from your parents for their anger. Ask them to speak to you calmly, and tell them that it is easier for you to obey them when they speak eloquently.
Warnings
Always remember that obedience is your right. You have the right to give and retract your obedience to every single person. Do not feel that, if you disobey someone, they will give you a punishment. If you feel this way, you may want to get help--this person may be trying to harass or bully you.
Protesting politely is not talking back. As long as you speak politely and do not interrupt, it is not called answering back. If a superior says you are talking back when you are not, just stop talking, make eye contact, smile and say, "Please continue, sir/madam." You don't have to be repentant to do this--but it will cut the authority figure off track in scolding you.
You have to be careful about obedience. You want it to be based on respect for the figure you are obeying. If they abuse that respect then you should not feel obligated to obey them.
If you feel that an authority figure is abusing you or intimidating you, get help immediately. This could be an issue that could result in physical violence.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Obedient to Your Parents\\n1-1. Be respectful.\\nPart of being obedient is showing respect to your parents, honoring their ideas about what's best for you, and showing that you think they are worth listening to. Make sure that you listen when they talk and respond when they ask you to respond.\\nDon’t ignore them in public. When you are out with your parents you might feel a bit embarrassed by them, but pretending that you don't know them or that you aren't with them is rude in the extreme. It also has the potential to hurt your parents. They don't say that you embarrass them, so why think that way towards them?\\nDon’t roll your eyes when they ask you to do something. If you don't like what they are asking you, the polite way to respond is to ask them to present your feelings on why you don't want to do what they want you to. Think of all the times when you were a child and you asked your parents to do something for you and they did it without complaining.\\n1-2. Be attentive to your chores.\\nParents tend not to ask you to do a ton of chores. In fact, they probably work a lot harder than you do. Obedience means doing what you see needs to be done without your parents even asking you to.\\nAvoid making your parents ask you to do something more than once. Everyone gets distracted occasionally, so you might not always remember to do a chore without being asked. Try to avoid having this be a typical thing.\\nDo what you can to help out around the house without being specifically ordered. For example: offer to babysit your younger sister so that your parents can have a night off. Or find out when garbage day is and take the garbage out before your mom has to.\\n1-3. Consider why your parents say no, instead of arguing.\\nParents can have all kinds of rules about what they think you should or shouldn't be doing. You might not always like or agree with these rules, but an obedient child considers their parents' point of view instead of fighting about it.\\nDon’t give in to the knee-jerk reaction to argue with them or express your disappointment or displeasure. If you really need to respond with an argument, make it a debate and not a dispute--try writing or emailing them a letter or message explaining your point of view, rather than shouting and being uncompassionate.\\nIf they say no to you hanging out with a friend on a Thursday night, they might be concerned about you not completing your homework on time or that you'll be too tired in school the next day.\\n1-4. Express your disagreement in a polite manner.\\nThere are times when your parents might ask you to do something unreasonable, or place unreasonable restrictions on you. In many cases calmly discussing why you feel their demands are unreasonable, or offering alternatives or a compromise, can go a long way towards getting you what you want without being disobedient.\\nCalmly explain your side of things. Give facts and don’t rely only on feelings.\\nObedience doesn’t mean that you don’t have a mind of your own and it certainly doesn’t mean that you will always need to agree with your parents. But if you disagree and want to express your disagreements, you will have to do it politely but firmly.\\n1-5. Be polite.\\nBeing polite to your parents is a sign of respect and obedience. You also want to be polite to other people: strangers, family members, friends. This way you'll be demonstrating how well your parents raised you.\\nMake sure that you ask permission to be excused at the dinner table.\\nSay “please” and “thank you” even for basic things.\\nHold doors open for people, offer to help people with their groceries.\\n1-6. Never rebel against your parents.\\nYou can disagree with them, but if they give you a reasonable instruction and you go against them simply to infuriate or upset them, this is not only immoral, but completely sinful. Think of the consequences before you decide to make a decision.\\n2. Being Obedient to Authority Figures\\n2-1. Pay attention to what they have to say.\\nWhen you're trying to be obedient to an authority figure, like your teacher or manager, then you need to pay attention when they are talking. You want to show that you're interested.\\nIn class look at the teacher while they’re talking. Take down notes when they give important information and look like you're interested.\\nMake sure that you are listening to your boss when they are giving you instructions. Again, eye contact is important.\\n2-2. Discuss concerns or issues in private.\\nIf there is a problem with an authority figure you should never bring it up in front of people. Instead, ask them if you can talk to them either in their office or after class.\\n2-3. Know how to obey authority.\\nYou should always respect authority, but never worship authority. Respecting authority means you recognize that the superior's authority and obey his or her reasonable rules. However, people who respect authority rarely sit quietly and suffer it if an authority figure treats them poorly or unfairly. People who revere authority, on the other hand, literally worship the authority figures; they think that, just because the superior has authority, whatever he or she says must be right. Therefore, revering authority often includes suffering injustices, while respecting authority only gives you the reputation of being respectful, kind and considerate--something worth going for.\\nFor example: if you feel that your teacher gave you the wrong grade for an assignment, you would go and discuss it with them after class. Present some clear and concise reasons why you feel you deserve a different grade (and no, \\\"worked really hard on it\\\" is not a reason).\\n2-4. Understand what is expected from you.\\nIt's hard to be obedient to someone if you're not really sure what they want from you. This is part of paying attention to what your authority figure says, because then you know what they need from you. If you happen to disagree with an authority figure, do not be impolite. Merely talk about it courteously, and you may end up getting your way.\\nIf you're being obedient to your teacher then you'll need to stay on top of things like homework, classwork, any major projects, what they require in terms of in-class participation.\\nIf you're being obedient to a superior at work then you're going to need to know what's expected from you in terms of your job. You're going to need to pay attention to long-term projects, and make sure to not fritter away your time at work surfing on the internet.\\n2-5. Make sure you complete tasks on time.\\nOnce you know what is expected of you it's time to fulfill those expectations in a timely manner. If there is a legitimate reason why a certain task or assignment isn't going to be completed on time, make sure that you inform your authority figure.\\n2-6. Avoid backtalk.\\nFighting or bickering with your boss or your teacher is the exact opposite of being obedient. Particularly in a classroom or work situation, your opinion on the authority figure isn't going to be that important.\\nBacktalk can also be nonverbal, such as rolling your eyes or smirking when they say something you disagree with or find to be stupid.\\nIf they tell you to do something don't say something like \\\"This is totally unnecessary.\\\" If you have questions or want to know why, ask respectfully but assertively.\\n2-7. Act like you respect them.\\nRespect and obedience have a tendency to go hand in hand. To be obedient to someone you need to act like you respect them as an authority figure. When they tell you to do something, you do it, as long as it is reasonable, moral and harmless.\\nBe polite and considerate. Say \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\". However, remember never to apologize for something or assume responsibility for it if you did not do it.\\n2-8. Never use blind obedience.\\nIf your authority figures told you to jump off a cliff, would you still do it obediently? Just like everything else, obedience has its limits. If you cross these limits, you are turning from being disciplined to being unwise and foolish. Watch out when you obey your authority figures--they may be authoritative, but few are completely virtuous.\\n3. Being Obedient in a Religion\\n3-1. Cultivate humility.\\nWhen you're obedient in following the mandates of your faith it means that you're also being humble. You accept that your god is helping to direct your life and that you accept both the good and the bad that comes.\\nTry to avoid taking ownership of the things that happen in your life. When something good happens, remind yourself that it was through the grace of your Great Teacher. If something unhappy happens it is a learning experience brought about by Him or Her, too.\\n3-2. Commit to your faith.\\nMost faiths and religions have specific rules and regulations that a practitioner is required to follow. Committing to your faith means giving up control of your life (not in a bad way) and understanding that what happens is coming from your Holy Teacher.\\n3-3. Make choices in line with your faith.\\nAgain, because of the rules and regulations in different faiths there are going to be certain choices that will be difficult, because they will make you choose between a life that might be materially easier, but not spiritually acceptable. Obedience to your faith means choosing the latter path.\\nFor example: such a choice could be sacrificing your career path, because it doesn’t align with your beliefs.\\nIt could also be something like taking significant time out of your day to incorporate prayer.\\n3-4. Avoid judging other people based on their beliefs and obedience.\\nObedience to your faith is a personal thing. It means that you are in connection with your god and your faith and that can be wonderful.\\nIt does not mean that you have carte blanche to criticize other people's beliefs or infringe on their way of living.\\nTips\\nObedience is a very personal thing, especially as regards obedience to your god. You should avoid making value judgements about other people's faith, other people's families, because you have no idea what they believe or how they see obedience.\\nIf you have an argument with your parents, remain calm. Go to your room immediately as the fight begins. Say no more than one sentence, and do NOT cry or implore. One hour later, go back to your parents and observe them. If they are calm, approach them and tell them that you understand what you did wrong (if you did something wrong). Apologize if you did something wrong, and ask for an apology from your parents for their anger. Ask them to speak to you calmly, and tell them that it is easier for you to obey them when they speak eloquently.\\nWarnings\\nAlways remember that obedience is your right. You have the right to give and retract your obedience to every single person. Do not feel that, if you disobey someone, they will give you a punishment. If you feel this way, you may want to get help--this person may be trying to harass or bully you.\\nProtesting politely is not talking back. As long as you speak politely and do not interrupt, it is not called answering back. If a superior says you are talking back when you are not, just stop talking, make eye contact, smile and say, \\\"Please continue, sir/madam.\\\" You don't have to be repentant to do this--but it will cut the authority figure off track in scolding you.\\nYou have to be careful about obedience. You want it to be based on respect for the figure you are obeying. If they abuse that respect then you should not feel obligated to obey them.\\nIf you feel that an authority figure is abusing you or intimidating you, get help immediately. This could be an issue that could result in physical violence.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Obedience is something of a touchy topic, because it can easily morph into something abusive. However, that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with cultivating obedience towards your parents, towards your authority figures (like teachers or bosses), or even towards your faith (if you have one). Remember, obedience is something that should be freely given. If the object of your obedience (like a parent) abuses your obedience, then you have every right to revoke it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Obedient to Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be respectful.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being obedient is showing respect to your parents, honoring their ideas about what's best for you, and showing that you think they are worth listening to. Make sure that you listen when they talk and respond when they ask you to respond.\\nDon’t ignore them in public. When you are out with your parents you might feel a bit embarrassed by them, but pretending that you don't know them or that you aren't with them is rude in the extreme. It also has the potential to hurt your parents. They don't say that you embarrass them, so why think that way towards them?\\nDon’t roll your eyes when they ask you to do something. If you don't like what they are asking you, the polite way to respond is to ask them to present your feelings on why you don't want to do what they want you to. Think of all the times when you were a child and you asked your parents to do something for you and they did it without complaining.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be attentive to your chores.\", \"描述\": \"Parents tend not to ask you to do a ton of chores. In fact, they probably work a lot harder than you do. Obedience means doing what you see needs to be done without your parents even asking you to.\\nAvoid making your parents ask you to do something more than once. Everyone gets distracted occasionally, so you might not always remember to do a chore without being asked. Try to avoid having this be a typical thing.\\nDo what you can to help out around the house without being specifically ordered. For example: offer to babysit your younger sister so that your parents can have a night off. Or find out when garbage day is and take the garbage out before your mom has to.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider why your parents say no, instead of arguing.\", \"描述\": \"Parents can have all kinds of rules about what they think you should or shouldn't be doing. You might not always like or agree with these rules, but an obedient child considers their parents' point of view instead of fighting about it.\\nDon’t give in to the knee-jerk reaction to argue with them or express your disappointment or displeasure. If you really need to respond with an argument, make it a debate and not a dispute--try writing or emailing them a letter or message explaining your point of view, rather than shouting and being uncompassionate.\\nIf they say no to you hanging out with a friend on a Thursday night, they might be concerned about you not completing your homework on time or that you'll be too tired in school the next day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express your disagreement in a polite manner.\", \"描述\": \"There are times when your parents might ask you to do something unreasonable, or place unreasonable restrictions on you. In many cases calmly discussing why you feel their demands are unreasonable, or offering alternatives or a compromise, can go a long way towards getting you what you want without being disobedient.\\nCalmly explain your side of things. Give facts and don’t rely only on feelings.\\nObedience doesn’t mean that you don’t have a mind of your own and it certainly doesn’t mean that you will always need to agree with your parents. But if you disagree and want to express your disagreements, you will have to do it politely but firmly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Being polite to your parents is a sign of respect and obedience. You also want to be polite to other people: strangers, family members, friends. This way you'll be demonstrating how well your parents raised you.\\nMake sure that you ask permission to be excused at the dinner table.\\nSay “please” and “thank you” even for basic things.\\nHold doors open for people, offer to help people with their groceries.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Never rebel against your parents.\", \"描述\": \"You can disagree with them, but if they give you a reasonable instruction and you go against them simply to infuriate or upset them, this is not only immoral, but completely sinful. Think of the consequences before you decide to make a decision.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Obedient to Authority Figures\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to what they have to say.\", \"描述\": \"When you're trying to be obedient to an authority figure, like your teacher or manager, then you need to pay attention when they are talking. You want to show that you're interested.\\nIn class look at the teacher while they’re talking. Take down notes when they give important information and look like you're interested.\\nMake sure that you are listening to your boss when they are giving you instructions. Again, eye contact is important.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discuss concerns or issues in private.\", \"描述\": \"If there is a problem with an authority figure you should never bring it up in front of people. Instead, ask them if you can talk to them either in their office or after class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know how to obey authority.\", \"描述\": \"You should always respect authority, but never worship authority. Respecting authority means you recognize that the superior's authority and obey his or her reasonable rules. However, people who respect authority rarely sit quietly and suffer it if an authority figure treats them poorly or unfairly. People who revere authority, on the other hand, literally worship the authority figures; they think that, just because the superior has authority, whatever he or she says must be right. Therefore, revering authority often includes suffering injustices, while respecting authority only gives you the reputation of being respectful, kind and considerate--something worth going for.\\nFor example: if you feel that your teacher gave you the wrong grade for an assignment, you would go and discuss it with them after class. Present some clear and concise reasons why you feel you deserve a different grade (and no, \\\"worked really hard on it\\\" is not a reason).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand what is expected from you.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to be obedient to someone if you're not really sure what they want from you. This is part of paying attention to what your authority figure says, because then you know what they need from you. If you happen to disagree with an authority figure, do not be impolite. Merely talk about it courteously, and you may end up getting your way.\\nIf you're being obedient to your teacher then you'll need to stay on top of things like homework, classwork, any major projects, what they require in terms of in-class participation.\\nIf you're being obedient to a superior at work then you're going to need to know what's expected from you in terms of your job. You're going to need to pay attention to long-term projects, and make sure to not fritter away your time at work surfing on the internet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure you complete tasks on time.\", \"描述\": \"Once you know what is expected of you it's time to fulfill those expectations in a timely manner. If there is a legitimate reason why a certain task or assignment isn't going to be completed on time, make sure that you inform your authority figure.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid backtalk.\", \"描述\": \"Fighting or bickering with your boss or your teacher is the exact opposite of being obedient. Particularly in a classroom or work situation, your opinion on the authority figure isn't going to be that important.\\nBacktalk can also be nonverbal, such as rolling your eyes or smirking when they say something you disagree with or find to be stupid.\\nIf they tell you to do something don't say something like \\\"This is totally unnecessary.\\\" If you have questions or want to know why, ask respectfully but assertively.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Act like you respect them.\", \"描述\": \"Respect and obedience have a tendency to go hand in hand. To be obedient to someone you need to act like you respect them as an authority figure. When they tell you to do something, you do it, as long as it is reasonable, moral and harmless.\\nBe polite and considerate. Say \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\". However, remember never to apologize for something or assume responsibility for it if you did not do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Never use blind obedience.\", \"描述\": \"If your authority figures told you to jump off a cliff, would you still do it obediently? Just like everything else, obedience has its limits. If you cross these limits, you are turning from being disciplined to being unwise and foolish. Watch out when you obey your authority figures--they may be authoritative, but few are completely virtuous.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Obedient in a Religion\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cultivate humility.\", \"描述\": \"When you're obedient in following the mandates of your faith it means that you're also being humble. You accept that your god is helping to direct your life and that you accept both the good and the bad that comes.\\nTry to avoid taking ownership of the things that happen in your life. When something good happens, remind yourself that it was through the grace of your Great Teacher. If something unhappy happens it is a learning experience brought about by Him or Her, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Commit to your faith.\", \"描述\": \"Most faiths and religions have specific rules and regulations that a practitioner is required to follow. Committing to your faith means giving up control of your life (not in a bad way) and understanding that what happens is coming from your Holy Teacher.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make choices in line with your faith.\", \"描述\": \"Again, because of the rules and regulations in different faiths there are going to be certain choices that will be difficult, because they will make you choose between a life that might be materially easier, but not spiritually acceptable. Obedience to your faith means choosing the latter path.\\nFor example: such a choice could be sacrificing your career path, because it doesn’t align with your beliefs.\\nIt could also be something like taking significant time out of your day to incorporate prayer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid judging other people based on their beliefs and obedience.\", \"描述\": \"Obedience to your faith is a personal thing. It means that you are in connection with your god and your faith and that can be wonderful.\\nIt does not mean that you have carte blanche to criticize other people's beliefs or infringe on their way of living.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Obedience is a very personal thing, especially as regards obedience to your god. You should avoid making value judgements about other people's faith, other people's families, because you have no idea what they believe or how they see obedience.\\n\", \"If you have an argument with your parents, remain calm. Go to your room immediately as the fight begins. Say no more than one sentence, and do NOT cry or implore. One hour later, go back to your parents and observe them. If they are calm, approach them and tell them that you understand what you did wrong (if you did something wrong). Apologize if you did something wrong, and ask for an apology from your parents for their anger. Ask them to speak to you calmly, and tell them that it is easier for you to obey them when they speak eloquently.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Always remember that obedience is your right. You have the right to give and retract your obedience to every single person. Do not feel that, if you disobey someone, they will give you a punishment. If you feel this way, you may want to get help--this person may be trying to harass or bully you.\\n\", \"Protesting politely is not talking back. As long as you speak politely and do not interrupt, it is not called answering back. If a superior says you are talking back when you are not, just stop talking, make eye contact, smile and say, \\\"Please continue, sir/madam.\\\" You don't have to be repentant to do this--but it will cut the authority figure off track in scolding you.\\n\", \"You have to be careful about obedience. You want it to be based on respect for the figure you are obeying. If they abuse that respect then you should not feel obligated to obey them.\\n\", \"If you feel that an authority figure is abusing you or intimidating you, get help immediately. This could be an issue that could result in physical violence.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,000 | How to Be Observant | 1. Walk slowly and look around in all directions
This is a great way to start paying more attention to your surroundings.
Try to get out of the mindset of just trying to get from point A to point B. Instead of walking as fast as possible to get where you’re going, make a conscious effort to slow down your walking speed and take in everything around you.
Whether you’re walking somewhere or sitting down outdoors, make an effort to look from side to side, behind you, and above you regularly. Take notice of what’s all around you instead of only looking at what’s in front of you.
2. Take pictures of your surroundings.
Looking at things through a lens gives you a whole new perspective.
Instead of just going from one place to another, take a camera with you or keep your phone out with the camera ready to snap a shot. Look for interesting buildings, objects, or scenes along your path and take pictures of them as you go!
For example, maybe you notice a flowery bush or an old building with unique architectural features that you wouldn’t otherwise pay attention to.
If you choose to use your phone camera, make sure not to spend all your time staring at your phone. Sometimes phone cameras can't quite capture what our eyes can!
3. Explore new places.
This gets you out of your regular haunts, where you aren't as observant.
Take a new route to work or go to a new part of town on the weekend, for example. That way, you’re not just on autopilot and doing the same old things without really taking in your surroundings.
If you take a new route to work, you’re going to notice much more than if you go down the same street you’ve been down hundreds of times and know like the back of your hand.
You can also expose yourself to new environments by trying a new activity. For example, sign up for a rock climbing class or take an art class.
4. Get rid of distractions.
Distractions prevent you from noticing things around you.
Put away your smartphone or any other device that’s occupying your attention. Or, turn off your TV show or the music you’re listening to. Look around you instead of giving all your attention to something else.
Distractions can also be dangerous. If you’re watching a video on your phone while you’re crossing the street, for example, you might not notice a speeding car coming your way.
5. Pay more attention to others.
When you shift your attention outward you'll notice much more.
Focus on observing other people. Pay attention to things they say, their body language, and how they behave. Look at the way and speed at which they’re moving to determine if they’re relaxed, in a rush, or in some kind of distress.
For example, if you see someone speed-walking down the sidewalk and almost running over other pedestrians, you can assume that they’re probably in a rush to get somewhere.
6. Ask yourself questions.
This helps you draw conclusions based on what you observe.
Ask yourself things like: “How is this person really feeling?” “What is the difference between what he is saying and what he is really feeling?” and “How many people in this room are in a good mood?” Keep your mind busy and keep prodding yourself to discover what's really happening in a situation.
At first, switching to this inquisitive mode of thinking can be a little bit distracting. Don’t ask yourself so many questions that you’re not living in the moment.
If you aren’t sure where to start with this technique, simply ask yourself “Why?” For example, “Why is this person here in this park right now?” Then, make educated guesses based on their behavior.
As you practice this more, you'll learn how to keep questioning a situation while paying complete attention.
7. Use all of your senses to observe.
Engaging all your senses is the ultimate way to be fully observant.
Use all 5 senses when you're in a conversation with someone, when you're observing others, or when you’re taking in your surroundings. Notice sounds, smells, textures, and tastes of things around you, as appropriate.
Look around to observe and scan your surroundings and people's behavior wherever you are.
Listen to pay attention to different sounds around you distinguish voices from background noise.
Use your sense of touch to infer the moods of people. For example, if someone shakes hands with you and you find the person's hands sweaty, the person may be nervous.
Use your nose to detect any smell that is out of the ordinary, like a sudden aroma of gas or smoke in the area.
Pay attention to your taste buds to notice all the different flavours of a meal you’re eating or of a beverage you’re drinking.
8. Watch a foreign movie without subtitles.
This helps you focus on details other than the story.
Pick a foreign film that looks interesting on your favorite streaming service and turn off the subtitles. Pay attention to things like the characters’ body language, tone of voice, and surroundings.
You can make it a game by coming up with your own storyline based on how the characters are acting as you watch.
9. Train your mind with observational games.
Puzzles and games help you notice things more quickly.
For example, play “Where's Waldo?” put together a jigsaw puzzle, or play Memory, the matching card game. Or, try a “spot the differences” identical picture game.
Putting in just 15 minutes a day into a mental game or puzzle is a great exercise for your brain and your observational powers.
You can also play an easy observational game by doing this: grab a pen and paper and quickly write down everything you can think of about the room or space you’re in without looking around.
10. Meditate daily.
Meditating helps build awareness of your mind and body.
Sit down for 10-15 minutes every morning and/or evening, make sure you're comfortable in a quiet room, and listen to the breath rising and falling out of your body. Focus on relaxing one body part at a time until you find yourself in a state of real relaxation, and are able to notice all of the little things around you while keeping your eyes closed.
As you meditate, you let distractions out of your brain and become more aware of your surroundings and your own state of being.
11. Do a scavenger hunt.
These are a great wait to be on the lookout for things throughout your day.
Pick an object or something else to look for and take a picture of it or make a note of it every time you see it throughout the day. When you’re all done, consider why each of those things is there or how they got there.
Your scavenger hunt could be looking for something as mundane as fire hydrants or as unique as art by a certain graffiti artist, for example.
You can also look for certain activities or scenes throughout the day, such as people playing sports or drinking coffee.
12. Keep an observational journal.
This helps build a habit of observing details in daily life.
Carry a notebook and writing utensil with you wherever you go throughout the day. Write a note every time you observe unusual sights, sounds, or occurrences.
For example, if you go to a nature park on a Saturday, take your journal with you and make notes about how new bird noises you hear sound and how plants you’ve never noticed before look.
13. Take up drawing.
Drawing helps you gain a new understanding of things you see.
Do a drawing activity at least once a week to help improve your visual observation skills. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil at home or somewhere else and sketch out something that’s in front of you. Try to include as many details of what you’re looking at as possible in your drawing.
For example, you could sit down in front of a sculpture or a work of art and try to draw it yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Walk slowly and look around in all directions\\nThis is a great way to start paying more attention to your surroundings.\\nTry to get out of the mindset of just trying to get from point A to point B. Instead of walking as fast as possible to get where you’re going, make a conscious effort to slow down your walking speed and take in everything around you.\\nWhether you’re walking somewhere or sitting down outdoors, make an effort to look from side to side, behind you, and above you regularly. Take notice of what’s all around you instead of only looking at what’s in front of you.\\n2. Take pictures of your surroundings.\\nLooking at things through a lens gives you a whole new perspective.\\nInstead of just going from one place to another, take a camera with you or keep your phone out with the camera ready to snap a shot. Look for interesting buildings, objects, or scenes along your path and take pictures of them as you go!\\nFor example, maybe you notice a flowery bush or an old building with unique architectural features that you wouldn’t otherwise pay attention to.\\nIf you choose to use your phone camera, make sure not to spend all your time staring at your phone. Sometimes phone cameras can't quite capture what our eyes can!\\n3. Explore new places.\\nThis gets you out of your regular haunts, where you aren't as observant.\\nTake a new route to work or go to a new part of town on the weekend, for example. That way, you’re not just on autopilot and doing the same old things without really taking in your surroundings.\\nIf you take a new route to work, you’re going to notice much more than if you go down the same street you’ve been down hundreds of times and know like the back of your hand.\\nYou can also expose yourself to new environments by trying a new activity. For example, sign up for a rock climbing class or take an art class.\\n4. Get rid of distractions.\\nDistractions prevent you from noticing things around you.\\nPut away your smartphone or any other device that’s occupying your attention. Or, turn off your TV show or the music you’re listening to. Look around you instead of giving all your attention to something else.\\nDistractions can also be dangerous. If you’re watching a video on your phone while you’re crossing the street, for example, you might not notice a speeding car coming your way.\\n5. Pay more attention to others.\\nWhen you shift your attention outward you'll notice much more.\\nFocus on observing other people. Pay attention to things they say, their body language, and how they behave. Look at the way and speed at which they’re moving to determine if they’re relaxed, in a rush, or in some kind of distress.\\nFor example, if you see someone speed-walking down the sidewalk and almost running over other pedestrians, you can assume that they’re probably in a rush to get somewhere.\\n6. Ask yourself questions.\\nThis helps you draw conclusions based on what you observe.\\nAsk yourself things like: “How is this person really feeling?” “What is the difference between what he is saying and what he is really feeling?” and “How many people in this room are in a good mood?” Keep your mind busy and keep prodding yourself to discover what's really happening in a situation.\\nAt first, switching to this inquisitive mode of thinking can be a little bit distracting. Don’t ask yourself so many questions that you’re not living in the moment.\\nIf you aren’t sure where to start with this technique, simply ask yourself “Why?” For example, “Why is this person here in this park right now?” Then, make educated guesses based on their behavior.\\nAs you practice this more, you'll learn how to keep questioning a situation while paying complete attention.\\n7. Use all of your senses to observe.\\nEngaging all your senses is the ultimate way to be fully observant.\\nUse all 5 senses when you're in a conversation with someone, when you're observing others, or when you’re taking in your surroundings. Notice sounds, smells, textures, and tastes of things around you, as appropriate.\\nLook around to observe and scan your surroundings and people's behavior wherever you are.\\nListen to pay attention to different sounds around you distinguish voices from background noise.\\nUse your sense of touch to infer the moods of people. For example, if someone shakes hands with you and you find the person's hands sweaty, the person may be nervous.\\nUse your nose to detect any smell that is out of the ordinary, like a sudden aroma of gas or smoke in the area.\\nPay attention to your taste buds to notice all the different flavours of a meal you’re eating or of a beverage you’re drinking.\\n8. Watch a foreign movie without subtitles.\\nThis helps you focus on details other than the story.\\nPick a foreign film that looks interesting on your favorite streaming service and turn off the subtitles. Pay attention to things like the characters’ body language, tone of voice, and surroundings.\\nYou can make it a game by coming up with your own storyline based on how the characters are acting as you watch.\\n9. Train your mind with observational games.\\nPuzzles and games help you notice things more quickly.\\nFor example, play “Where's Waldo?” put together a jigsaw puzzle, or play Memory, the matching card game. Or, try a “spot the differences” identical picture game.\\nPutting in just 15 minutes a day into a mental game or puzzle is a great exercise for your brain and your observational powers.\\nYou can also play an easy observational game by doing this: grab a pen and paper and quickly write down everything you can think of about the room or space you’re in without looking around.\\n10. Meditate daily.\\nMeditating helps build awareness of your mind and body.\\nSit down for 10-15 minutes every morning and/or evening, make sure you're comfortable in a quiet room, and listen to the breath rising and falling out of your body. Focus on relaxing one body part at a time until you find yourself in a state of real relaxation, and are able to notice all of the little things around you while keeping your eyes closed.\\nAs you meditate, you let distractions out of your brain and become more aware of your surroundings and your own state of being.\\n11. Do a scavenger hunt.\\nThese are a great wait to be on the lookout for things throughout your day.\\nPick an object or something else to look for and take a picture of it or make a note of it every time you see it throughout the day. When you’re all done, consider why each of those things is there or how they got there.\\nYour scavenger hunt could be looking for something as mundane as fire hydrants or as unique as art by a certain graffiti artist, for example.\\nYou can also look for certain activities or scenes throughout the day, such as people playing sports or drinking coffee.\\n12. Keep an observational journal.\\nThis helps build a habit of observing details in daily life.\\nCarry a notebook and writing utensil with you wherever you go throughout the day. Write a note every time you observe unusual sights, sounds, or occurrences.\\nFor example, if you go to a nature park on a Saturday, take your journal with you and make notes about how new bird noises you hear sound and how plants you’ve never noticed before look.\\n13. Take up drawing.\\nDrawing helps you gain a new understanding of things you see.\\nDo a drawing activity at least once a week to help improve your visual observation skills. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil at home or somewhere else and sketch out something that’s in front of you. Try to include as many details of what you’re looking at as possible in your drawing.\\nFor example, you could sit down in front of a sculpture or a work of art and try to draw it yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being observant serves a lot of purposes in life. It can keep you safe on the job, make you a better artist or photographer, and help you to pick up on little details that other people don’t notice. You don’t have to be as gifted as Sherlock Holmes to improve your powers of observation, though! Check out this handy list of simple tips you can try out to practice observing the world around you more closely.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk slowly and look around in all directions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a great way to start paying more attention to your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"Try to get out of the mindset of just trying to get from point A to point B. Instead of walking as fast as possible to get where you’re going, make a conscious effort to slow down your walking speed and take in everything around you.\\nWhether you’re walking somewhere or sitting down outdoors, make an effort to look from side to side, behind you, and above you regularly. Take notice of what’s all around you instead of only looking at what’s in front of you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take pictures of your surroundings.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking at things through a lens gives you a whole new perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of just going from one place to another, take a camera with you or keep your phone out with the camera ready to snap a shot. Look for interesting buildings, objects, or scenes along your path and take pictures of them as you go!\\nFor example, maybe you notice a flowery bush or an old building with unique architectural features that you wouldn’t otherwise pay attention to.\\nIf you choose to use your phone camera, make sure not to spend all your time staring at your phone. Sometimes phone cameras can't quite capture what our eyes can!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explore new places.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This gets you out of your regular haunts, where you aren't as observant.\", \"描述\": \"Take a new route to work or go to a new part of town on the weekend, for example. That way, you’re not just on autopilot and doing the same old things without really taking in your surroundings.\\nIf you take a new route to work, you’re going to notice much more than if you go down the same street you’ve been down hundreds of times and know like the back of your hand.\\nYou can also expose yourself to new environments by trying a new activity. For example, sign up for a rock climbing class or take an art class.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get rid of distractions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Distractions prevent you from noticing things around you.\", \"描述\": \"Put away your smartphone or any other device that’s occupying your attention. Or, turn off your TV show or the music you’re listening to. Look around you instead of giving all your attention to something else.\\nDistractions can also be dangerous. If you’re watching a video on your phone while you’re crossing the street, for example, you might not notice a speeding car coming your way.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay more attention to others.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When you shift your attention outward you'll notice much more.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on observing other people. Pay attention to things they say, their body language, and how they behave. Look at the way and speed at which they’re moving to determine if they’re relaxed, in a rush, or in some kind of distress.\\nFor example, if you see someone speed-walking down the sidewalk and almost running over other pedestrians, you can assume that they’re probably in a rush to get somewhere.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This helps you draw conclusions based on what you observe.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself things like: “How is this person really feeling?” “What is the difference between what he is saying and what he is really feeling?” and “How many people in this room are in a good mood?” Keep your mind busy and keep prodding yourself to discover what's really happening in a situation.\\nAt first, switching to this inquisitive mode of thinking can be a little bit distracting. Don’t ask yourself so many questions that you’re not living in the moment.\\nIf you aren’t sure where to start with this technique, simply ask yourself “Why?” For example, “Why is this person here in this park right now?” Then, make educated guesses based on their behavior.\\nAs you practice this more, you'll learn how to keep questioning a situation while paying complete attention.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use all of your senses to observe.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Engaging all your senses is the ultimate way to be fully observant.\", \"描述\": \"Use all 5 senses when you're in a conversation with someone, when you're observing others, or when you’re taking in your surroundings. Notice sounds, smells, textures, and tastes of things around you, as appropriate.\\nLook around to observe and scan your surroundings and people's behavior wherever you are.\\nListen to pay attention to different sounds around you distinguish voices from background noise.\\nUse your sense of touch to infer the moods of people. For example, if someone shakes hands with you and you find the person's hands sweaty, the person may be nervous.\\nUse your nose to detect any smell that is out of the ordinary, like a sudden aroma of gas or smoke in the area.\\nPay attention to your taste buds to notice all the different flavours of a meal you’re eating or of a beverage you’re drinking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Watch a foreign movie without subtitles.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This helps you focus on details other than the story.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a foreign film that looks interesting on your favorite streaming service and turn off the subtitles. Pay attention to things like the characters’ body language, tone of voice, and surroundings.\\nYou can make it a game by coming up with your own storyline based on how the characters are acting as you watch.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Train your mind with observational games.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Puzzles and games help you notice things more quickly.\", \"描述\": \"For example, play “Where's Waldo?” put together a jigsaw puzzle, or play Memory, the matching card game. Or, try a “spot the differences” identical picture game.\\nPutting in just 15 minutes a day into a mental game or puzzle is a great exercise for your brain and your observational powers.\\nYou can also play an easy observational game by doing this: grab a pen and paper and quickly write down everything you can think of about the room or space you’re in without looking around.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Meditate daily.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meditating helps build awareness of your mind and body.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down for 10-15 minutes every morning and/or evening, make sure you're comfortable in a quiet room, and listen to the breath rising and falling out of your body. Focus on relaxing one body part at a time until you find yourself in a state of real relaxation, and are able to notice all of the little things around you while keeping your eyes closed.\\nAs you meditate, you let distractions out of your brain and become more aware of your surroundings and your own state of being.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Do a scavenger hunt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"These are a great wait to be on the lookout for things throughout your day.\", \"描述\": \"Pick an object or something else to look for and take a picture of it or make a note of it every time you see it throughout the day. When you’re all done, consider why each of those things is there or how they got there.\\nYour scavenger hunt could be looking for something as mundane as fire hydrants or as unique as art by a certain graffiti artist, for example.\\nYou can also look for certain activities or scenes throughout the day, such as people playing sports or drinking coffee.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Keep an observational journal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This helps build a habit of observing details in daily life.\", \"描述\": \"Carry a notebook and writing utensil with you wherever you go throughout the day. Write a note every time you observe unusual sights, sounds, or occurrences.\\nFor example, if you go to a nature park on a Saturday, take your journal with you and make notes about how new bird noises you hear sound and how plants you’ve never noticed before look.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Take up drawing.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Drawing helps you gain a new understanding of things you see.\", \"描述\": \"Do a drawing activity at least once a week to help improve your visual observation skills. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil at home or somewhere else and sketch out something that’s in front of you. Try to include as many details of what you’re looking at as possible in your drawing.\\nFor example, you could sit down in front of a sculpture or a work of art and try to draw it yourself.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,001 | How to Be Okay with Being You | 1. Learning to Love Yourself
1-1. Be your own friend.
Often we set higher expectations for ourselves than we do for others. Try instead to treat yourself the same way you would treat a close friend. Don't say anything about yourself (out loud to others, or even just in your head) that you wouldn't say about someone you care about.
1-2. Celebrate your strengths.
Scientists have proven that by focusing on developing and appreciating our strengths, we are more likely to live fulfilling lives.
Make a list of three of your strengths. These can be specific (such as, “I am good at chess”) or broad (such as, “I am courageous”).
Include at least one specific and one broad example on your list.
Stop and appreciate these parts of yourself. Say out loud, “I like that I am courageous.”
Brainstorm one way to further develop each of these strengths. If you listed “I am good at chess,” consider entering a chess tournament. If you listed “I am courageous,” perhaps go white water rafting.
1-3. Forgive yourself.
If you are not okay with being you, there may some guilt living under the surface. Accept your limitations and embrace who you are. Forgiving yourself is not easy, but it can be transformative. In order to try to forgive yourself, perform a ritual release.
Write a letter confessing your secret. Explain everything you feel guilty about in vivid detail.
Destroy the letter. Send it into the ocean or burn it.
Say to yourself, “I put my guilt in the past.”
Repeat this ritual as many times as you need to.
1-4. Be kind to yourself.
Many people have internalized the belief that taking care of yourself is selfish. When in reality, being kind to yourself is one of the most responsible things you can do. If you take better care of yourself, you will begin to feel worthy of such care. As a result, you will soon be okay with being you. Here are some ideas:
Set specific times when you don't work. Give yourself permission to relax during these moments.
Work out. Get those endorphins pumping! When you do make it to the gym, thank yourself for showing up.
Get enough sleep. Don't sacrifice this essential human need. Plenty of sleep will help you stay physically and emotionally strong.
1-5. Make an affirmation.
An affirmation is a simple, positive, present tense statement about yourself. Think of such a statement and use a dry erase marker to write it on your bathroom mirror. Say it out loud first thing in the morning, and again every time you enter that room. It is okay to feel silly at first! This feeling will pass, and in time, this will help you be okay with being you. Some examples include:
I am a good writer.
I am a strong person.
I love you, ____ (fill in your name).
2. Discovering Yourself
2-1. Discover your unique preferences.
Uniqueness is what makes someone interesting, attractive, and confident. Begin your journey to self-acceptance by creating a list of things that you enjoy. Try not to let the opinions of others influence this list.
What type of music do you like?
What sorts of food do you enjoy?
Which colors appeal to you?
What types of clothing do you like?
2-2. Develop your style.
In order to be okay with being you, you must embrace and cultivate what “being you” looks like. Look over the list of preferences you created, and put it into action.
Put together an outfit like the one you saw in the magazine.
Download some new music from an artist you like.
Order some food from a restaurant you love.
Try to do at least one thing every day that is uniquely you.
2-3. Expand your horizons.
Chances are you have only been exposed to a tiny fraction of what life can offer you! Deepen your pool of preferences by finding new things to love and new ways to express yourself.
Travel someplace new.
Try a fashion, food, or music that you've never tried before.
Try to do something once a week that is new.
2-4. Express yourself.
Tapping into your creative side will bring you more in touch yourself. Finding a channel for your unique flow will help you connect with yourself and others, heal old wounds, or just have fun. The only person you need to impress is yourself! In time, this creative outlet will further help you accept yourself.
Keep a journal.
Go dancing.
Make a collage.
Do this once or twice a week.
2-5. Get in touch with your core values.
Sit down and make a list of your five core values. Do you believe in integrity or honesty? It is straightforwardness or kindness? Could it be boldness or style? By honing in on your core values, you will have a better grasp on what you need to be okay, as well as what you need in a friend.
3. Opening Yourself to Others
3-1. Look at who you surround yourself with.
If the people around you are negative and judgmental, this may make it difficult for you to accept yourself. Seek people in your life who are supportive. Seek people who appear to be okay with themselves. Minimize the time you spend with people who complain constantly or instigate unnecessary drama.
3-2. Create a support system.
Building a network of supportive people is essential to being okay with yourself. This could be a more formal network, like a literal support group led by a therapist, or a more informal gathering of friends. By empathizing with others, you also improve your ability to empathize with yourself.
Attend a meeting or organize a gathering where your friends can come together and receive support.
Do this at least once a month.
3-3. Do something nice for others.
Scientists have proven that not only are we happier when we are nice to others, but we actually live longer! Being nice to others can help you be okay with being you. Make an effort to do something nice for others without expecting anything in return, and soon you'll be more okay with you.
Compliment the cashier's jacket.
Give up your seat on the bus.
Volunteer your time at a soup kitchen.
Kind gestures can be small or large.
3-4. Practice gratitude.
Anytime you feel self-doubt creeping in, change gears and focus on gratitude instead. List five things you are grateful for in that moment. Take a moment to really pay attention on each one: how does it feel to have that in your life?
Think about a physical attribute that you like. Do you have great hair?
Think about an aspect of your personality. Are you good at school?
Think about a person in your life. Are you close with your mom?
3-5. Aim for acceptance.
When we are not okay with ourselves, we are often not okay with others. This equation works both ways. If you let go of judgment and try to accept others, you will soon start accepting yourself. If you find yourself making an assessment of the actions, choices, or identity markers of someone else, just let it go. Remind yourself that it's not your concern.
Tips
Read self-help books to gain additional background theory on self-improvement or self-esteem.
Try to communicate more with people that you see everyday. Suddenly you'll feel much better about yourself and others will see you as really natural person.
Pick up a notebook! A lot of these steps involve making lists or writing. Start a brand new notebook to record your journey towards self-love.
Warnings
Don't be over-confident or conceited and expect to be okay with yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning to Love Yourself\\n1-1. Be your own friend.\\nOften we set higher expectations for ourselves than we do for others. Try instead to treat yourself the same way you would treat a close friend. Don't say anything about yourself (out loud to others, or even just in your head) that you wouldn't say about someone you care about.\\n1-2. Celebrate your strengths.\\nScientists have proven that by focusing on developing and appreciating our strengths, we are more likely to live fulfilling lives. \\nMake a list of three of your strengths. These can be specific (such as, “I am good at chess”) or broad (such as, “I am courageous”).\\nInclude at least one specific and one broad example on your list.\\nStop and appreciate these parts of yourself. Say out loud, “I like that I am courageous.”\\nBrainstorm one way to further develop each of these strengths. If you listed “I am good at chess,” consider entering a chess tournament. If you listed “I am courageous,” perhaps go white water rafting.\\n1-3. Forgive yourself.\\nIf you are not okay with being you, there may some guilt living under the surface. Accept your limitations and embrace who you are. Forgiving yourself is not easy, but it can be transformative. In order to try to forgive yourself, perform a ritual release.\\nWrite a letter confessing your secret. Explain everything you feel guilty about in vivid detail.\\nDestroy the letter. Send it into the ocean or burn it.\\nSay to yourself, “I put my guilt in the past.”\\nRepeat this ritual as many times as you need to.\\n1-4. Be kind to yourself.\\nMany people have internalized the belief that taking care of yourself is selfish. When in reality, being kind to yourself is one of the most responsible things you can do. If you take better care of yourself, you will begin to feel worthy of such care. As a result, you will soon be okay with being you. Here are some ideas:\\nSet specific times when you don't work. Give yourself permission to relax during these moments.\\nWork out. Get those endorphins pumping! When you do make it to the gym, thank yourself for showing up.\\nGet enough sleep. Don't sacrifice this essential human need. Plenty of sleep will help you stay physically and emotionally strong.\\n1-5. Make an affirmation.\\nAn affirmation is a simple, positive, present tense statement about yourself. Think of such a statement and use a dry erase marker to write it on your bathroom mirror. Say it out loud first thing in the morning, and again every time you enter that room. It is okay to feel silly at first! This feeling will pass, and in time, this will help you be okay with being you. Some examples include:\\nI am a good writer.\\nI am a strong person.\\nI love you, ____ (fill in your name).\\n2. Discovering Yourself\\n2-1. Discover your unique preferences.\\nUniqueness is what makes someone interesting, attractive, and confident. Begin your journey to self-acceptance by creating a list of things that you enjoy. Try not to let the opinions of others influence this list.\\nWhat type of music do you like?\\nWhat sorts of food do you enjoy?\\nWhich colors appeal to you?\\nWhat types of clothing do you like?\\n2-2. Develop your style.\\nIn order to be okay with being you, you must embrace and cultivate what “being you” looks like. Look over the list of preferences you created, and put it into action.\\nPut together an outfit like the one you saw in the magazine.\\nDownload some new music from an artist you like.\\nOrder some food from a restaurant you love.\\nTry to do at least one thing every day that is uniquely you.\\n2-3. Expand your horizons.\\nChances are you have only been exposed to a tiny fraction of what life can offer you! Deepen your pool of preferences by finding new things to love and new ways to express yourself.\\nTravel someplace new.\\nTry a fashion, food, or music that you've never tried before.\\nTry to do something once a week that is new.\\n2-4. Express yourself.\\nTapping into your creative side will bring you more in touch yourself. Finding a channel for your unique flow will help you connect with yourself and others, heal old wounds, or just have fun. The only person you need to impress is yourself! In time, this creative outlet will further help you accept yourself.\\nKeep a journal.\\nGo dancing.\\nMake a collage.\\nDo this once or twice a week.\\n2-5. Get in touch with your core values.\\nSit down and make a list of your five core values. Do you believe in integrity or honesty? It is straightforwardness or kindness? Could it be boldness or style? By honing in on your core values, you will have a better grasp on what you need to be okay, as well as what you need in a friend.\\n3. Opening Yourself to Others\\n3-1. Look at who you surround yourself with.\\nIf the people around you are negative and judgmental, this may make it difficult for you to accept yourself. Seek people in your life who are supportive. Seek people who appear to be okay with themselves. Minimize the time you spend with people who complain constantly or instigate unnecessary drama.\\n3-2. Create a support system.\\nBuilding a network of supportive people is essential to being okay with yourself. This could be a more formal network, like a literal support group led by a therapist, or a more informal gathering of friends. By empathizing with others, you also improve your ability to empathize with yourself.\\nAttend a meeting or organize a gathering where your friends can come together and receive support.\\nDo this at least once a month.\\n3-3. Do something nice for others.\\nScientists have proven that not only are we happier when we are nice to others, but we actually live longer! Being nice to others can help you be okay with being you. Make an effort to do something nice for others without expecting anything in return, and soon you'll be more okay with you.\\nCompliment the cashier's jacket.\\nGive up your seat on the bus.\\nVolunteer your time at a soup kitchen.\\nKind gestures can be small or large.\\n3-4. Practice gratitude.\\nAnytime you feel self-doubt creeping in, change gears and focus on gratitude instead. List five things you are grateful for in that moment. Take a moment to really pay attention on each one: how does it feel to have that in your life?\\nThink about a physical attribute that you like. Do you have great hair?\\nThink about an aspect of your personality. Are you good at school?\\nThink about a person in your life. Are you close with your mom?\\n3-5. Aim for acceptance.\\nWhen we are not okay with ourselves, we are often not okay with others. This equation works both ways. If you let go of judgment and try to accept others, you will soon start accepting yourself. If you find yourself making an assessment of the actions, choices, or identity markers of someone else, just let it go. Remind yourself that it's not your concern.\\nTips\\nRead self-help books to gain additional background theory on self-improvement or self-esteem.\\nTry to communicate more with people that you see everyday. Suddenly you'll feel much better about yourself and others will see you as really natural person.\\nPick up a notebook! A lot of these steps involve making lists or writing. Start a brand new notebook to record your journey towards self-love.\\nWarnings\\nDon't be over-confident or conceited and expect to be okay with yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"One the greatest obstacles in life is self-acceptance. Though it is difficult, learning to be okay with who you are is perhaps the most crucial thing you need to do to be happy. No matter what your life has dealt you, you have the opportunity to accept yourself and learn to like who you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning to Love Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be your own friend.\", \"描述\": \"Often we set higher expectations for ourselves than we do for others. Try instead to treat yourself the same way you would treat a close friend. Don't say anything about yourself (out loud to others, or even just in your head) that you wouldn't say about someone you care about.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Scientists have proven that by focusing on developing and appreciating our strengths, we are more likely to live fulfilling lives. \\nMake a list of three of your strengths. These can be specific (such as, “I am good at chess”) or broad (such as, “I am courageous”).\\nInclude at least one specific and one broad example on your list.\\nStop and appreciate these parts of yourself. Say out loud, “I like that I am courageous.”\\nBrainstorm one way to further develop each of these strengths. If you listed “I am good at chess,” consider entering a chess tournament. If you listed “I am courageous,” perhaps go white water rafting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not okay with being you, there may some guilt living under the surface. Accept your limitations and embrace who you are. Forgiving yourself is not easy, but it can be transformative. In order to try to forgive yourself, perform a ritual release.\\nWrite a letter confessing your secret. Explain everything you feel guilty about in vivid detail.\\nDestroy the letter. Send it into the ocean or burn it.\\nSay to yourself, “I put my guilt in the past.”\\nRepeat this ritual as many times as you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Many people have internalized the belief that taking care of yourself is selfish. When in reality, being kind to yourself is one of the most responsible things you can do. If you take better care of yourself, you will begin to feel worthy of such care. As a result, you will soon be okay with being you. Here are some ideas:\\nSet specific times when you don't work. Give yourself permission to relax during these moments.\\nWork out. Get those endorphins pumping! When you do make it to the gym, thank yourself for showing up.\\nGet enough sleep. Don't sacrifice this essential human need. Plenty of sleep will help you stay physically and emotionally strong.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make an affirmation.\", \"描述\": \"An affirmation is a simple, positive, present tense statement about yourself. Think of such a statement and use a dry erase marker to write it on your bathroom mirror. Say it out loud first thing in the morning, and again every time you enter that room. It is okay to feel silly at first! This feeling will pass, and in time, this will help you be okay with being you. Some examples include:\\nI am a good writer.\\nI am a strong person.\\nI love you, ____ (fill in your name).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discovering Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discover your unique preferences.\", \"描述\": \"Uniqueness is what makes someone interesting, attractive, and confident. Begin your journey to self-acceptance by creating a list of things that you enjoy. Try not to let the opinions of others influence this list.\\nWhat type of music do you like?\\nWhat sorts of food do you enjoy?\\nWhich colors appeal to you?\\nWhat types of clothing do you like?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop your style.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be okay with being you, you must embrace and cultivate what “being you” looks like. Look over the list of preferences you created, and put it into action.\\nPut together an outfit like the one you saw in the magazine.\\nDownload some new music from an artist you like.\\nOrder some food from a restaurant you love.\\nTry to do at least one thing every day that is uniquely you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Expand your horizons.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are you have only been exposed to a tiny fraction of what life can offer you! Deepen your pool of preferences by finding new things to love and new ways to express yourself.\\nTravel someplace new.\\nTry a fashion, food, or music that you've never tried before.\\nTry to do something once a week that is new.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Tapping into your creative side will bring you more in touch yourself. Finding a channel for your unique flow will help you connect with yourself and others, heal old wounds, or just have fun. The only person you need to impress is yourself! In time, this creative outlet will further help you accept yourself.\\nKeep a journal.\\nGo dancing.\\nMake a collage.\\nDo this once or twice a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get in touch with your core values.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down and make a list of your five core values. Do you believe in integrity or honesty? It is straightforwardness or kindness? Could it be boldness or style? By honing in on your core values, you will have a better grasp on what you need to be okay, as well as what you need in a friend.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Opening Yourself to Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look at who you surround yourself with.\", \"描述\": \"If the people around you are negative and judgmental, this may make it difficult for you to accept yourself. Seek people in your life who are supportive. Seek people who appear to be okay with themselves. Minimize the time you spend with people who complain constantly or instigate unnecessary drama.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a support system.\", \"描述\": \"Building a network of supportive people is essential to being okay with yourself. This could be a more formal network, like a literal support group led by a therapist, or a more informal gathering of friends. By empathizing with others, you also improve your ability to empathize with yourself.\\nAttend a meeting or organize a gathering where your friends can come together and receive support.\\nDo this at least once a month.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something nice for others.\", \"描述\": \"Scientists have proven that not only are we happier when we are nice to others, but we actually live longer! Being nice to others can help you be okay with being you. Make an effort to do something nice for others without expecting anything in return, and soon you'll be more okay with you.\\nCompliment the cashier's jacket.\\nGive up your seat on the bus.\\nVolunteer your time at a soup kitchen.\\nKind gestures can be small or large.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Anytime you feel self-doubt creeping in, change gears and focus on gratitude instead. List five things you are grateful for in that moment. Take a moment to really pay attention on each one: how does it feel to have that in your life?\\nThink about a physical attribute that you like. Do you have great hair?\\nThink about an aspect of your personality. Are you good at school?\\nThink about a person in your life. Are you close with your mom?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Aim for acceptance.\", \"描述\": \"When we are not okay with ourselves, we are often not okay with others. This equation works both ways. If you let go of judgment and try to accept others, you will soon start accepting yourself. If you find yourself making an assessment of the actions, choices, or identity markers of someone else, just let it go. Remind yourself that it's not your concern.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Read self-help books to gain additional background theory on self-improvement or self-esteem.\\n\", \"Try to communicate more with people that you see everyday. Suddenly you'll feel much better about yourself and others will see you as really natural person.\\n\", \"Pick up a notebook! A lot of these steps involve making lists or writing. Start a brand new notebook to record your journey towards self-love.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't be over-confident or conceited and expect to be okay with yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,002 | How to Be Okay with Having a Communist Friend | 1. Working on Your Friendship
1-1. Agree to disagree.
The best part about making friends is understanding each other. If your friend is communist and you uphold a different ideology, you can still get along very well. Politics will just be one area where you won't meet eye to eye. Understand that you don't have to agree with your friend in order to get along.
1-2. Show respect.
If someone doesn't share the same beliefs as you do, they don't deserve to be criticized or scrutinized. Set aside their beliefs and treat them based on the respect you feel they deserve. Friendships should be void of harsh treatment of one another. Respect can focus on things such has hard work, treatment of others, their abilities, and characteristics.
1-3. Focus on the better aspects in your friendship and find common ground.
Arguing about communism is not going to create a strong bond. People offer other interests aside from politics. Figure out what drew you to that person in the first place, such as school, sports, or work. The best friendships are well rounded.
1-4. Support your friend if other people pick on them.
No one needs to be bullied for what they believe. If your friend receives harsh treatment from others who oppose Communism, stand up for your friend. That will be the best thing for your friendship, and it will open the eyes of others.
2. Learning About Your Friend's Views
2-1. Ask your friend about her or his beliefs.
Learning from one another is essential to any relationship, and friends should have a lot to offer. Inquire about your friend's Communist beliefs. Ask open ended questions that start with what or how, and let yourself refrain from any interruptions or judgement.
2-2. Learn about communism.
Communism is a theory, and when you focus on the errors of those who falsely practiced that theory, you prevent yourself from learning. Read some easy fundamental Works like "The Communist Manifesto" and "Value, Price and Profit" by Marx, but also some good Texts that show the humanistic and libertarian core of communism, like Oscar Wilde's "The Soul of Man under Socialism". Read some good introductions, like Bini Admczak's "Communism for Kids", Michael Heinrich's or David Harvey's introductions to "The Capital" or Etienne Balibar's "The Philosophy of Marx". Be careful with the sources you seek; propaganda and biased journalism exists to create fear and hate at times.
2-3. Separate communism from tyranny and dictatorships.
A common misconception people hold about communism is what we've seen in the past. Most countries that have attempted to execute a communist economy have resembled more of a dictatorship or a tyranny. A real communist does not support a dictatorship of rulers over the population.
2-4. Consider the Marxist theory.
This theory states that all governments in human history have been a class dictatorship, meaning that the state is under the command of the interests of one social class. This is why communists refer to capitalism as the "dictatorship of the bourgeoisie (capitalists)" and refer to socialism as the "dictatorship of the proletariat (workers). Modern communists refer - in according with the intention of Marx - to capitalism as the dictatorship of capital, i.e. of a blind and automatical-moving power, that was created by men but is now out of control. States are than not simply under the command of the interests of capitalists, but have to respect the rules of capitalism in order to fulfill their tasks. On the other side, "dictatorship of the workers" means the end of "dictatorship" itself and the end of classes. Marx described communism as "free association" of free individuals, in which the free developing of each one ist the condition for the free developing of all. Also against a work-fixation of traditional communists, Marx saw in communism the wind of work as a heavy and alienating task, the end of the "kingdom of necessity" and the begin of the "kingdom of freedom".
2-5. Research the core beliefs of communism.
Go online and read books about communism. You will not be sacrificing your own beliefs by educating yourself on the subject. You might be interested to see that communism can be made up of several differentiating political parties similar to what the United States has. Also, communism shares a lot of views that are not necessarily political; communism cares about the environment in a similar way the USA and other countries do..
3. Having Healthy Discussions
3-1. Try to debunk a political theory.
Achieving this by slandering the personal life of the person who supports such theory is called an ad hominem. This is a common logical fallacy so be careful.
3-2. Understand your own beliefs.
In order to have a good discussion, you must be informed. Learn more about your beliefs. A lot of times, our belief system can be influenced by our surroundings and become innate; however, that natural feeling towards a belief system does not always insure we will be properly informed. Moreover, politics is a huge subject that can change and present new information daily.
3-3. Listen with interest and reply without sarcasm.
A discussion can turn in to an argument quickly, and the best way to avoid that is by listening like a good parent or student. Listening to someone does not mean you are submitting to their beliefs. Also, when you reply, speak kindly and intelligently. We enjoy a lot of political analysts who use sharp and sarcastic delivery in both monologues and dialogues. However, all that is done for entertainment. In the real world, sarcasm is not received well by all and is taken offensively by a lot people.
3-4. Leave out harsh judgments.
Your friend doesn't hold communist beliefs just to anger you. If you start feeling angry during a conversation with your friend, ask yourself where the anger is coming from. It might not actually have its source in your friend's beliefs. Distinguishing your vulnerability before hand can help you avoid certain specific topics. If ever you feel the discussion may have triggered you, be kind enough to ask to change the subject.
3-5. Realize you cannot impose your beliefs on others.
Having a discussion with your friend is meant to open up friendship and share ideas. If you enter discussions with hopes of manipulating the conversation and influencing your friend's beliefs, then nothing well will come out of it. Ignore any thoughts of changing how your friend views the world. Even if you are passionate about the subject, that doesn't give you the right to impose upon your friend.
3-6. Listen to each other.
A successful dialogue happens when individuals create new ideas together. The creation and problem solving can only happen with good listening. When your friend is discussing a point, don't interrupt. Give the person time, and don't counter argue by repeatedly stating but but but; using that word immediately negates what was just said, like it didn't even matter. If you wish to get along, you should treat each other's ideas as though they do matter.
3-7. Admit when you are wrong.
If discussions lead to arguments all the time, then something must be changed, and someone must be wrong. If the discussions lead to an argument that you keep bring up over and over again, chances are you can be wrong for trying to manipulate the discussion. Try to refrain from confusing facts for opinions. Facts should speak for themselves--whether you like believing them or not. Opinions are arguable, so when you feel the discussion is getting very opinion heavy, refrain from being stubborn on a certain point. Admitting you're wrong is fine around friends. If you feel admitting you are wrong is some kind of defeat or concession to your friends beliefs, then reevaluate why you have discussions with your friend.
Tips
Be kind and supportive of each other.
Learn to accept people political ideology
Know that a communist and a socialist are NOT the same thing and if you call one the other they may get offended
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Working on Your Friendship\\n1-1. Agree to disagree.\\nThe best part about making friends is understanding each other. If your friend is communist and you uphold a different ideology, you can still get along very well. Politics will just be one area where you won't meet eye to eye. Understand that you don't have to agree with your friend in order to get along.\\n1-2. Show respect.\\nIf someone doesn't share the same beliefs as you do, they don't deserve to be criticized or scrutinized. Set aside their beliefs and treat them based on the respect you feel they deserve. Friendships should be void of harsh treatment of one another. Respect can focus on things such has hard work, treatment of others, their abilities, and characteristics.\\n1-3. Focus on the better aspects in your friendship and find common ground.\\nArguing about communism is not going to create a strong bond. People offer other interests aside from politics. Figure out what drew you to that person in the first place, such as school, sports, or work. The best friendships are well rounded.\\n1-4. Support your friend if other people pick on them.\\nNo one needs to be bullied for what they believe. If your friend receives harsh treatment from others who oppose Communism, stand up for your friend. That will be the best thing for your friendship, and it will open the eyes of others.\\n2. Learning About Your Friend's Views\\n2-1. Ask your friend about her or his beliefs.\\nLearning from one another is essential to any relationship, and friends should have a lot to offer. Inquire about your friend's Communist beliefs. Ask open ended questions that start with what or how, and let yourself refrain from any interruptions or judgement.\\n2-2. Learn about communism.\\nCommunism is a theory, and when you focus on the errors of those who falsely practiced that theory, you prevent yourself from learning. Read some easy fundamental Works like \\\"The Communist Manifesto\\\" and \\\"Value, Price and Profit\\\" by Marx, but also some good Texts that show the humanistic and libertarian core of communism, like Oscar Wilde's \\\"The Soul of Man under Socialism\\\". Read some good introductions, like Bini Admczak's \\\"Communism for Kids\\\", Michael Heinrich's or David Harvey's introductions to \\\"The Capital\\\" or Etienne Balibar's \\\"The Philosophy of Marx\\\". Be careful with the sources you seek; propaganda and biased journalism exists to create fear and hate at times.\\n2-3. Separate communism from tyranny and dictatorships.\\nA common misconception people hold about communism is what we've seen in the past. Most countries that have attempted to execute a communist economy have resembled more of a dictatorship or a tyranny. A real communist does not support a dictatorship of rulers over the population.\\n2-4. Consider the Marxist theory.\\nThis theory states that all governments in human history have been a class dictatorship, meaning that the state is under the command of the interests of one social class. This is why communists refer to capitalism as the \\\"dictatorship of the bourgeoisie (capitalists)\\\" and refer to socialism as the \\\"dictatorship of the proletariat (workers). Modern communists refer - in according with the intention of Marx - to capitalism as the dictatorship of capital, i.e. of a blind and automatical-moving power, that was created by men but is now out of control. States are than not simply under the command of the interests of capitalists, but have to respect the rules of capitalism in order to fulfill their tasks. On the other side, \\\"dictatorship of the workers\\\" means the end of \\\"dictatorship\\\" itself and the end of classes. Marx described communism as \\\"free association\\\" of free individuals, in which the free developing of each one ist the condition for the free developing of all. Also against a work-fixation of traditional communists, Marx saw in communism the wind of work as a heavy and alienating task, the end of the \\\"kingdom of necessity\\\" and the begin of the \\\"kingdom of freedom\\\".\\n2-5. Research the core beliefs of communism.\\nGo online and read books about communism. You will not be sacrificing your own beliefs by educating yourself on the subject. You might be interested to see that communism can be made up of several differentiating political parties similar to what the United States has. Also, communism shares a lot of views that are not necessarily political; communism cares about the environment in a similar way the USA and other countries do..\\n3. Having Healthy Discussions\\n3-1. Try to debunk a political theory.\\nAchieving this by slandering the personal life of the person who supports such theory is called an ad hominem. This is a common logical fallacy so be careful.\\n3-2. Understand your own beliefs.\\nIn order to have a good discussion, you must be informed. Learn more about your beliefs. A lot of times, our belief system can be influenced by our surroundings and become innate; however, that natural feeling towards a belief system does not always insure we will be properly informed. Moreover, politics is a huge subject that can change and present new information daily.\\n3-3. Listen with interest and reply without sarcasm.\\nA discussion can turn in to an argument quickly, and the best way to avoid that is by listening like a good parent or student. Listening to someone does not mean you are submitting to their beliefs. Also, when you reply, speak kindly and intelligently. We enjoy a lot of political analysts who use sharp and sarcastic delivery in both monologues and dialogues. However, all that is done for entertainment. In the real world, sarcasm is not received well by all and is taken offensively by a lot people.\\n3-4. Leave out harsh judgments.\\nYour friend doesn't hold communist beliefs just to anger you. If you start feeling angry during a conversation with your friend, ask yourself where the anger is coming from. It might not actually have its source in your friend's beliefs. Distinguishing your vulnerability before hand can help you avoid certain specific topics. If ever you feel the discussion may have triggered you, be kind enough to ask to change the subject.\\n3-5. Realize you cannot impose your beliefs on others.\\nHaving a discussion with your friend is meant to open up friendship and share ideas. If you enter discussions with hopes of manipulating the conversation and influencing your friend's beliefs, then nothing well will come out of it. Ignore any thoughts of changing how your friend views the world. Even if you are passionate about the subject, that doesn't give you the right to impose upon your friend.\\n3-6. Listen to each other.\\nA successful dialogue happens when individuals create new ideas together. The creation and problem solving can only happen with good listening. When your friend is discussing a point, don't interrupt. Give the person time, and don't counter argue by repeatedly stating but but but; using that word immediately negates what was just said, like it didn't even matter. If you wish to get along, you should treat each other's ideas as though they do matter.\\n3-7. Admit when you are wrong.\\nIf discussions lead to arguments all the time, then something must be changed, and someone must be wrong. If the discussions lead to an argument that you keep bring up over and over again, chances are you can be wrong for trying to manipulate the discussion. Try to refrain from confusing facts for opinions. Facts should speak for themselves--whether you like believing them or not. Opinions are arguable, so when you feel the discussion is getting very opinion heavy, refrain from being stubborn on a certain point. Admitting you're wrong is fine around friends. If you feel admitting you are wrong is some kind of defeat or concession to your friends beliefs, then reevaluate why you have discussions with your friend.\\nTips\\nBe kind and supportive of each other.\\nLearn to accept people political ideology\\nKnow that a communist and a socialist are NOT the same thing and if you call one the other they may get offended\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Human beings are a social species. We gravitate towards one another based on several factors. As we earn each other's trust and friendship, we must learn to deal with our differences. A most common difference that can feel personal is our political views. If you have a friend who supports communism, and you do not support it, getting along might be difficult at times. However, with respect for each other, you can be okay with your friend who is a communist.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Working on Your Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Agree to disagree.\", \"描述\": \"The best part about making friends is understanding each other. If your friend is communist and you uphold a different ideology, you can still get along very well. Politics will just be one area where you won't meet eye to eye. Understand that you don't have to agree with your friend in order to get along.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show respect.\", \"描述\": \"If someone doesn't share the same beliefs as you do, they don't deserve to be criticized or scrutinized. Set aside their beliefs and treat them based on the respect you feel they deserve. Friendships should be void of harsh treatment of one another. Respect can focus on things such has hard work, treatment of others, their abilities, and characteristics.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on the better aspects in your friendship and find common ground.\", \"描述\": \"Arguing about communism is not going to create a strong bond. People offer other interests aside from politics. Figure out what drew you to that person in the first place, such as school, sports, or work. The best friendships are well rounded.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Support your friend if other people pick on them.\", \"描述\": \"No one needs to be bullied for what they believe. If your friend receives harsh treatment from others who oppose Communism, stand up for your friend. That will be the best thing for your friendship, and it will open the eyes of others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning About Your Friend's Views\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your friend about her or his beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"Learning from one another is essential to any relationship, and friends should have a lot to offer. Inquire about your friend's Communist beliefs. Ask open ended questions that start with what or how, and let yourself refrain from any interruptions or judgement.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn about communism.\", \"描述\": \"Communism is a theory, and when you focus on the errors of those who falsely practiced that theory, you prevent yourself from learning. Read some easy fundamental Works like \\\"The Communist Manifesto\\\" and \\\"Value, Price and Profit\\\" by Marx, but also some good Texts that show the humanistic and libertarian core of communism, like Oscar Wilde's \\\"The Soul of Man under Socialism\\\". Read some good introductions, like Bini Admczak's \\\"Communism for Kids\\\", Michael Heinrich's or David Harvey's introductions to \\\"The Capital\\\" or Etienne Balibar's \\\"The Philosophy of Marx\\\". Be careful with the sources you seek; propaganda and biased journalism exists to create fear and hate at times.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Separate communism from tyranny and dictatorships.\", \"描述\": \"A common misconception people hold about communism is what we've seen in the past. Most countries that have attempted to execute a communist economy have resembled more of a dictatorship or a tyranny. A real communist does not support a dictatorship of rulers over the population.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider the Marxist theory.\", \"描述\": \"This theory states that all governments in human history have been a class dictatorship, meaning that the state is under the command of the interests of one social class. This is why communists refer to capitalism as the \\\"dictatorship of the bourgeoisie (capitalists)\\\" and refer to socialism as the \\\"dictatorship of the proletariat (workers). Modern communists refer - in according with the intention of Marx - to capitalism as the dictatorship of capital, i.e. of a blind and automatical-moving power, that was created by men but is now out of control. States are than not simply under the command of the interests of capitalists, but have to respect the rules of capitalism in order to fulfill their tasks. On the other side, \\\"dictatorship of the workers\\\" means the end of \\\"dictatorship\\\" itself and the end of classes. Marx described communism as \\\"free association\\\" of free individuals, in which the free developing of each one ist the condition for the free developing of all. Also against a work-fixation of traditional communists, Marx saw in communism the wind of work as a heavy and alienating task, the end of the \\\"kingdom of necessity\\\" and the begin of the \\\"kingdom of freedom\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Research the core beliefs of communism.\", \"描述\": \"Go online and read books about communism. You will not be sacrificing your own beliefs by educating yourself on the subject. You might be interested to see that communism can be made up of several differentiating political parties similar to what the United States has. Also, communism shares a lot of views that are not necessarily political; communism cares about the environment in a similar way the USA and other countries do..\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having Healthy Discussions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to debunk a political theory.\", \"描述\": \"Achieving this by slandering the personal life of the person who supports such theory is called an ad hominem. This is a common logical fallacy so be careful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand your own beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"In order to have a good discussion, you must be informed. Learn more about your beliefs. A lot of times, our belief system can be influenced by our surroundings and become innate; however, that natural feeling towards a belief system does not always insure we will be properly informed. Moreover, politics is a huge subject that can change and present new information daily.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen with interest and reply without sarcasm.\", \"描述\": \"A discussion can turn in to an argument quickly, and the best way to avoid that is by listening like a good parent or student. Listening to someone does not mean you are submitting to their beliefs. Also, when you reply, speak kindly and intelligently. We enjoy a lot of political analysts who use sharp and sarcastic delivery in both monologues and dialogues. However, all that is done for entertainment. In the real world, sarcasm is not received well by all and is taken offensively by a lot people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Leave out harsh judgments.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend doesn't hold communist beliefs just to anger you. If you start feeling angry during a conversation with your friend, ask yourself where the anger is coming from. It might not actually have its source in your friend's beliefs. Distinguishing your vulnerability before hand can help you avoid certain specific topics. If ever you feel the discussion may have triggered you, be kind enough to ask to change the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Realize you cannot impose your beliefs on others.\", \"描述\": \"Having a discussion with your friend is meant to open up friendship and share ideas. If you enter discussions with hopes of manipulating the conversation and influencing your friend's beliefs, then nothing well will come out of it. Ignore any thoughts of changing how your friend views the world. Even if you are passionate about the subject, that doesn't give you the right to impose upon your friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to each other.\", \"描述\": \"A successful dialogue happens when individuals create new ideas together. The creation and problem solving can only happen with good listening. When your friend is discussing a point, don't interrupt. Give the person time, and don't counter argue by repeatedly stating but but but; using that word immediately negates what was just said, like it didn't even matter. If you wish to get along, you should treat each other's ideas as though they do matter.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Admit when you are wrong.\", \"描述\": \"If discussions lead to arguments all the time, then something must be changed, and someone must be wrong. If the discussions lead to an argument that you keep bring up over and over again, chances are you can be wrong for trying to manipulate the discussion. Try to refrain from confusing facts for opinions. Facts should speak for themselves--whether you like believing them or not. Opinions are arguable, so when you feel the discussion is getting very opinion heavy, refrain from being stubborn on a certain point. Admitting you're wrong is fine around friends. If you feel admitting you are wrong is some kind of defeat or concession to your friends beliefs, then reevaluate why you have discussions with your friend.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be kind and supportive of each other.\\n\", \"Learn to accept people political ideology\\n\", \"Know that a communist and a socialist are NOT the same thing and if you call one the other they may get offended\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,003 | How to Be Older Than Your Age | 1. Being Mature
1-1. Be more considerate of others.
The first step in being seen as older is to give up selfish habits in place of more empathetic ones. Try to think of things from other people’s perspectives before reacting or responding. Consider how your decision may impact the people around you, either now or in the future. You will appear much more mature and very wise for your age.
For instance, instead of asking your mom to do something for you right after she has gotten off of work, try to do it for yourself if possible. She already likely has many things to do so don’t add something else.
1-2. Maintain a calm demeanor.
Put away juvenile behaviors and trade them for adult-like ones. Whining, sulking, and throwing tantrums are great ways to be considered as a child but are not so great if you want to be respected and taken seriously. No matter how upset you may be with a friend, family member or coworker, never resort to behaving like a child. Opt instead to remain calm and to have a reasonable and levelheaded discussion.
Pay attention to how people around you deal with stressful situations or with being challenged. This may help to give you some ideas for how you can respond as well.
If you feel yourself becoming angry or mad, walk away from the situation for a few moments.
Practice breathing deeply to calm yourself down in stressful situations.
1-3. Be responsible and take on more responsibility.
Another integral step in gaining maturity is achieved through taking care of your responsibilities and accepting more as you can. Be sure to handle your business daily, including doing your homework, doing your chores, or completing all of your tasks as work in a timely fashion. As you become more accustomed to these tasks, your time may free up a bit, so don’t shy away from doing more. You will be respected for taking initiative.
For instance, offer to babysit your siblings for your parents. Taking care of people younger than you will help you think and become more mature and that will show in your demeanor.
Offer to do more around the house.
Volunteer if your teacher should ask for help or assistance.
If your supervisor or parent mentions something that needs to get done, take note of it to remind yourself and take care of it without being asked.
1-4. Develop social graces.
Remember to be polite in any space that you are in. Don't talk too loudly, be considerate, talk more about other people than yourself, and know when to let silence do the talking. Practice good table manners when eating as well, such as not putting your elbows on the table and not slurping your food.
Get into the habit of pausing for three seconds after someone finishes talking and then respond. Avoid interrupting or talking over people.
Make sure that you always greet people when you enter into a room. Not doing so can be interpreted as rude and immature.
Give respect to elders. Refer to them by using “Ms.” or “Mr.” in front of their name.
Don’t burp out loud. Excuse yourself to the restroom.
Don’t talk about bodily functions in front of others.
1-5. Be confident.
Nothing communicates maturity like confidence. Even if your physical appearance, unique personality, or social skills aren't what you wish they were, you are still a unique and interesting person. Remember that and hold your head high when you walk into a room.Even if you don’t feel confident yet, faking confidence until it feels real is a great strategy.
Make a list of your strengths and your accomplishments.
Look people in the eye when you speak to them.
Give a firm handshake.
1-6. Avoid arguments.
There is a proverb that goes something like “don’t argue with fools; from a distance you can’t tell who’s who.” As much as it is possible with you, try to live at peace with everyone. If you feel an argument brewing with someone, work to keep the situation calm and respectful or remove yourself from the conversation until things settle.
Don’t get involved in an argument that you don’t want to be involved in. You can always just say, "I don't wish to discuss this."
You might say something like “hey, let’s talk about something else, okay?”
Sometimes, arguments must be had, however. Consider whether the problem will matter in a few weeks or if it may prevent you from doing your job. Pull the person aside to talk to them, don’t interrupt them when they speak, and work to find solutions rather than create more problems.
1-7. Watch your words.
Using phrases similar to “umm” or “like” very often can make you seem younger. Work to expel these youthful phrases from your vocabulary and opt instead for a slight pause until you can gather your thoughts and choose a better word.
Remember that you don’t need to fill every moment with speech. Some people use terms like “um” when they are thinking or when they don’t know what to say. In those moments, silence will suffice.
1-8. Mimic your role models.
Sometimes the best way to appear older is to fake it until you make it. Think about your mentors, parents, or other role models. What behaviors or mannerisms do you notice in them that you think are admirable? Mimic those and incorporate them into your daily life.
For instance, if you notice that your father never insults people but always compliments them instead, you can work to become more like that, as well.
2. Looking the Part
2-1. Maintain good hygiene.
In addition to behaving more maturely, it is also important to maintain good hygiene practices. Remember that the people most likely to have poor hygiene are children, and since you are trying to look older, keeping yourself neat and clean will be important in looking the part. Shower daily, brush your teeth, and keep yourself neat.[Image:Avoid-Being-Late-for-School-Step-11.jpg|center]]
Keep your hair neat and kempt. Get regular haircuts and wash it often.
2-2. Dress as if you are slightly older than your age.
The clothes that you choose to wear can have a huge impact on how old you are perceived to be. Don’t wear clothes with cartoon characters, glitter, or wild designs on them. These have a tendency to make you look younger. Chose clothes that are nice, neat, fitted but not tight, and not flashy.
Make sure you always wear clothes that are ironed and clean.
Don’t be overly trendy. Stick with the classics.
Wear clothes that fit you well. Get your clothes tailored if possible and necessary.
Avoid wearing a lot of bright colors. Opt for a more monochromatic look.
2-3. Consider getting glasses.
Glasses are primarily worn by older people, so many have a tendency to associate anyone wearing glasses with being more mature. If you wear contacts, consider switching to wearing glasses, instead. If you have good vision and don’t need glasses, consider selecting a pair that do not have a prescription in them.
2-4. Wear a little makeup.
Makeup can either make or break you in your quest to looking older. If you wear too much, you will look like you are trying too hard which will make you appear slightly immature. Opt for a natural look. Wear a bit of foundation, concealer and perhaps lipstick as well.
Avoid wearing lipstick colors like blue or black. Opt for reds or more neutral colors.
2-5. Improve your posture.
Slouching won't portray the mature appearance you desire. Hold your head up high and straighten your back. Use body language to communicate maturity. Sit up straight when sitting and keep your arms uncrossed.
2-6. Avoid a lot of accessories.
Though wearing accessories in moderation can certainly be a good thing, wearing too many simultaneously can make you look gaudy. Stick with a key one or two accessories and try not to wear much more. You don’t want to appear to be too flashy.
Wear only one or two rings.
Wear a belt with a sensibly sized buckle.
Avoid wearing extremely large earrings.
3. Gaining Wisdom
3-1. Listen closely to what others say.
Few things demonstrate maturity as well as being a good listener. Be a good conversationalist. Be interested in what people are saying; try to add occasional comments.
Try to remember two to three things about your conversations with people and then ask about them later. This will help to show the person that you were listening and that you care about them.
Remember that people enjoy talking about themselves. Tap into that desire by asking them questions and then listening intently.
3-2. Improve your vocabulary.
Try to learn at least one new word per day and try to include them in your everyday language. Though many mistakenly attribute using cuss words with people who are older, avoid cursing as much as possible. It indicates that you are trying a bit too hard and does not convey maturity.
To learn new words, you can use flashcards to write a few down per week. Keep them in your wallet and study them in your spare time.
3-3. Read more.
Read the news, read books, read magazines. Read whatever you can get your hands on. The more you read, the more you will know and the more mature you will appear to people. Work to make sure that you are continuously learning and developing your knowledge base. Then, you can talk with people about world issues or interesting things you have read about to develop a dialogue with them.
Consider getting a newspaper subscription.
Download a news source app on your phone.
3-4. Spend time with people you respect and admire.
It is said that you are the a combination of the five people that you spend the most time with, so be mindful of who those people are. Try to spend more time with people who are older and more mature with you. You will eventually pick up many of their positive mannerisms and may be perceived as older.
Look for respectful, healthy ways to end relationships with people who are immature or who impact your life negatively.
3-5. Set goals and reach them.
Another indicator of a truly mature person is the ability to set a goal and achieve it. Think daily on your life and ways that you could improve it and write down a list of your top objectives for the year. Write out ways that you can achieve these goals and work daily to achieve them.
For instance, perhaps you want to become student body president. Write out all of the steps in that process and begin planning.
Warnings
You shouldn't change who you are on the inside. While it may be important to you for others to see that you are older, who you are shouldn't suffer. Most people are aware when you are "faking" it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Mature\\n1-1. Be more considerate of others.\\nThe first step in being seen as older is to give up selfish habits in place of more empathetic ones. Try to think of things from other people’s perspectives before reacting or responding. Consider how your decision may impact the people around you, either now or in the future. You will appear much more mature and very wise for your age.\\nFor instance, instead of asking your mom to do something for you right after she has gotten off of work, try to do it for yourself if possible. She already likely has many things to do so don’t add something else.\\n1-2. Maintain a calm demeanor.\\nPut away juvenile behaviors and trade them for adult-like ones. Whining, sulking, and throwing tantrums are great ways to be considered as a child but are not so great if you want to be respected and taken seriously. No matter how upset you may be with a friend, family member or coworker, never resort to behaving like a child. Opt instead to remain calm and to have a reasonable and levelheaded discussion.\\nPay attention to how people around you deal with stressful situations or with being challenged. This may help to give you some ideas for how you can respond as well.\\nIf you feel yourself becoming angry or mad, walk away from the situation for a few moments.\\nPractice breathing deeply to calm yourself down in stressful situations.\\n1-3. Be responsible and take on more responsibility.\\nAnother integral step in gaining maturity is achieved through taking care of your responsibilities and accepting more as you can. Be sure to handle your business daily, including doing your homework, doing your chores, or completing all of your tasks as work in a timely fashion. As you become more accustomed to these tasks, your time may free up a bit, so don’t shy away from doing more. You will be respected for taking initiative.\\nFor instance, offer to babysit your siblings for your parents. Taking care of people younger than you will help you think and become more mature and that will show in your demeanor.\\nOffer to do more around the house.\\nVolunteer if your teacher should ask for help or assistance.\\nIf your supervisor or parent mentions something that needs to get done, take note of it to remind yourself and take care of it without being asked.\\n1-4. Develop social graces.\\nRemember to be polite in any space that you are in. Don't talk too loudly, be considerate, talk more about other people than yourself, and know when to let silence do the talking. Practice good table manners when eating as well, such as not putting your elbows on the table and not slurping your food.\\nGet into the habit of pausing for three seconds after someone finishes talking and then respond. Avoid interrupting or talking over people.\\nMake sure that you always greet people when you enter into a room. Not doing so can be interpreted as rude and immature.\\nGive respect to elders. Refer to them by using “Ms.” or “Mr.” in front of their name.\\nDon’t burp out loud. Excuse yourself to the restroom.\\nDon’t talk about bodily functions in front of others.\\n1-5. Be confident.\\nNothing communicates maturity like confidence. Even if your physical appearance, unique personality, or social skills aren't what you wish they were, you are still a unique and interesting person. Remember that and hold your head high when you walk into a room.Even if you don’t feel confident yet, faking confidence until it feels real is a great strategy.\\nMake a list of your strengths and your accomplishments.\\nLook people in the eye when you speak to them.\\nGive a firm handshake.\\n1-6. Avoid arguments.\\nThere is a proverb that goes something like “don’t argue with fools; from a distance you can’t tell who’s who.” As much as it is possible with you, try to live at peace with everyone. If you feel an argument brewing with someone, work to keep the situation calm and respectful or remove yourself from the conversation until things settle.\\nDon’t get involved in an argument that you don’t want to be involved in. You can always just say, \\\"I don't wish to discuss this.\\\"\\nYou might say something like “hey, let’s talk about something else, okay?”\\nSometimes, arguments must be had, however. Consider whether the problem will matter in a few weeks or if it may prevent you from doing your job. Pull the person aside to talk to them, don’t interrupt them when they speak, and work to find solutions rather than create more problems.\\n1-7. Watch your words.\\nUsing phrases similar to “umm” or “like” very often can make you seem younger. Work to expel these youthful phrases from your vocabulary and opt instead for a slight pause until you can gather your thoughts and choose a better word.\\nRemember that you don’t need to fill every moment with speech. Some people use terms like “um” when they are thinking or when they don’t know what to say. In those moments, silence will suffice.\\n1-8. Mimic your role models.\\nSometimes the best way to appear older is to fake it until you make it. Think about your mentors, parents, or other role models. What behaviors or mannerisms do you notice in them that you think are admirable? Mimic those and incorporate them into your daily life.\\nFor instance, if you notice that your father never insults people but always compliments them instead, you can work to become more like that, as well.\\n2. Looking the Part\\n2-1. Maintain good hygiene.\\nIn addition to behaving more maturely, it is also important to maintain good hygiene practices. Remember that the people most likely to have poor hygiene are children, and since you are trying to look older, keeping yourself neat and clean will be important in looking the part. Shower daily, brush your teeth, and keep yourself neat.[Image:Avoid-Being-Late-for-School-Step-11.jpg|center]]\\nKeep your hair neat and kempt. Get regular haircuts and wash it often.\\n2-2. Dress as if you are slightly older than your age.\\nThe clothes that you choose to wear can have a huge impact on how old you are perceived to be. Don’t wear clothes with cartoon characters, glitter, or wild designs on them. These have a tendency to make you look younger. Chose clothes that are nice, neat, fitted but not tight, and not flashy.\\nMake sure you always wear clothes that are ironed and clean.\\nDon’t be overly trendy. Stick with the classics.\\nWear clothes that fit you well. Get your clothes tailored if possible and necessary.\\nAvoid wearing a lot of bright colors. Opt for a more monochromatic look.\\n2-3. Consider getting glasses.\\nGlasses are primarily worn by older people, so many have a tendency to associate anyone wearing glasses with being more mature. If you wear contacts, consider switching to wearing glasses, instead. If you have good vision and don’t need glasses, consider selecting a pair that do not have a prescription in them.\\n2-4. Wear a little makeup.\\nMakeup can either make or break you in your quest to looking older. If you wear too much, you will look like you are trying too hard which will make you appear slightly immature. Opt for a natural look. Wear a bit of foundation, concealer and perhaps lipstick as well.\\nAvoid wearing lipstick colors like blue or black. Opt for reds or more neutral colors.\\n2-5. Improve your posture.\\nSlouching won't portray the mature appearance you desire. Hold your head up high and straighten your back. Use body language to communicate maturity. Sit up straight when sitting and keep your arms uncrossed.\\n2-6. Avoid a lot of accessories.\\nThough wearing accessories in moderation can certainly be a good thing, wearing too many simultaneously can make you look gaudy. Stick with a key one or two accessories and try not to wear much more. You don’t want to appear to be too flashy.\\nWear only one or two rings.\\nWear a belt with a sensibly sized buckle.\\nAvoid wearing extremely large earrings.\\n3. Gaining Wisdom\\n3-1. Listen closely to what others say.\\nFew things demonstrate maturity as well as being a good listener. Be a good conversationalist. Be interested in what people are saying; try to add occasional comments.\\nTry to remember two to three things about your conversations with people and then ask about them later. This will help to show the person that you were listening and that you care about them.\\nRemember that people enjoy talking about themselves. Tap into that desire by asking them questions and then listening intently.\\n3-2. Improve your vocabulary.\\nTry to learn at least one new word per day and try to include them in your everyday language. Though many mistakenly attribute using cuss words with people who are older, avoid cursing as much as possible. It indicates that you are trying a bit too hard and does not convey maturity.\\nTo learn new words, you can use flashcards to write a few down per week. Keep them in your wallet and study them in your spare time.\\n3-3. Read more.\\nRead the news, read books, read magazines. Read whatever you can get your hands on. The more you read, the more you will know and the more mature you will appear to people. Work to make sure that you are continuously learning and developing your knowledge base. Then, you can talk with people about world issues or interesting things you have read about to develop a dialogue with them.\\nConsider getting a newspaper subscription.\\nDownload a news source app on your phone.\\n3-4. Spend time with people you respect and admire.\\nIt is said that you are the a combination of the five people that you spend the most time with, so be mindful of who those people are. Try to spend more time with people who are older and more mature with you. You will eventually pick up many of their positive mannerisms and may be perceived as older.\\nLook for respectful, healthy ways to end relationships with people who are immature or who impact your life negatively.\\n3-5. Set goals and reach them.\\nAnother indicator of a truly mature person is the ability to set a goal and achieve it. Think daily on your life and ways that you could improve it and write down a list of your top objectives for the year. Write out ways that you can achieve these goals and work daily to achieve them.\\nFor instance, perhaps you want to become student body president. Write out all of the steps in that process and begin planning.\\nWarnings\\nYou shouldn't change who you are on the inside. While it may be important to you for others to see that you are older, who you are shouldn't suffer. Most people are aware when you are \\\"faking\\\" it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Though looking young can certainly be a blessing in some circumstances, it can also be frustrating for you if you want to be taken more seriously. Whether you are still in school or are a professional in the workforce, you want to be seen as mature so you can be respected. Through further developing in maturity, dressing the part, and gaining wisdom, you can be perceived as being older than you are or older than you look.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Mature\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be more considerate of others.\", \"描述\": \"The first step in being seen as older is to give up selfish habits in place of more empathetic ones. Try to think of things from other people’s perspectives before reacting or responding. Consider how your decision may impact the people around you, either now or in the future. You will appear much more mature and very wise for your age.\\nFor instance, instead of asking your mom to do something for you right after she has gotten off of work, try to do it for yourself if possible. She already likely has many things to do so don’t add something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain a calm demeanor.\", \"描述\": \"Put away juvenile behaviors and trade them for adult-like ones. Whining, sulking, and throwing tantrums are great ways to be considered as a child but are not so great if you want to be respected and taken seriously. No matter how upset you may be with a friend, family member or coworker, never resort to behaving like a child. Opt instead to remain calm and to have a reasonable and levelheaded discussion.\\nPay attention to how people around you deal with stressful situations or with being challenged. This may help to give you some ideas for how you can respond as well.\\nIf you feel yourself becoming angry or mad, walk away from the situation for a few moments.\\nPractice breathing deeply to calm yourself down in stressful situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be responsible and take on more responsibility.\", \"描述\": \"Another integral step in gaining maturity is achieved through taking care of your responsibilities and accepting more as you can. Be sure to handle your business daily, including doing your homework, doing your chores, or completing all of your tasks as work in a timely fashion. As you become more accustomed to these tasks, your time may free up a bit, so don’t shy away from doing more. You will be respected for taking initiative.\\nFor instance, offer to babysit your siblings for your parents. Taking care of people younger than you will help you think and become more mature and that will show in your demeanor.\\nOffer to do more around the house.\\nVolunteer if your teacher should ask for help or assistance.\\nIf your supervisor or parent mentions something that needs to get done, take note of it to remind yourself and take care of it without being asked.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop social graces.\", \"描述\": \"Remember to be polite in any space that you are in. Don't talk too loudly, be considerate, talk more about other people than yourself, and know when to let silence do the talking. Practice good table manners when eating as well, such as not putting your elbows on the table and not slurping your food.\\nGet into the habit of pausing for three seconds after someone finishes talking and then respond. Avoid interrupting or talking over people.\\nMake sure that you always greet people when you enter into a room. Not doing so can be interpreted as rude and immature.\\nGive respect to elders. Refer to them by using “Ms.” or “Mr.” in front of their name.\\nDon’t burp out loud. Excuse yourself to the restroom.\\nDon’t talk about bodily functions in front of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing communicates maturity like confidence. Even if your physical appearance, unique personality, or social skills aren't what you wish they were, you are still a unique and interesting person. Remember that and hold your head high when you walk into a room.Even if you don’t feel confident yet, faking confidence until it feels real is a great strategy.\\nMake a list of your strengths and your accomplishments.\\nLook people in the eye when you speak to them.\\nGive a firm handshake.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid arguments.\", \"描述\": \"There is a proverb that goes something like “don’t argue with fools; from a distance you can’t tell who’s who.” As much as it is possible with you, try to live at peace with everyone. If you feel an argument brewing with someone, work to keep the situation calm and respectful or remove yourself from the conversation until things settle.\\nDon’t get involved in an argument that you don’t want to be involved in. You can always just say, \\\"I don't wish to discuss this.\\\"\\nYou might say something like “hey, let’s talk about something else, okay?”\\nSometimes, arguments must be had, however. Consider whether the problem will matter in a few weeks or if it may prevent you from doing your job. Pull the person aside to talk to them, don’t interrupt them when they speak, and work to find solutions rather than create more problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Watch your words.\", \"描述\": \"Using phrases similar to “umm” or “like” very often can make you seem younger. Work to expel these youthful phrases from your vocabulary and opt instead for a slight pause until you can gather your thoughts and choose a better word.\\nRemember that you don’t need to fill every moment with speech. Some people use terms like “um” when they are thinking or when they don’t know what to say. In those moments, silence will suffice.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Mimic your role models.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the best way to appear older is to fake it until you make it. Think about your mentors, parents, or other role models. What behaviors or mannerisms do you notice in them that you think are admirable? Mimic those and incorporate them into your daily life.\\nFor instance, if you notice that your father never insults people but always compliments them instead, you can work to become more like that, as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Looking the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to behaving more maturely, it is also important to maintain good hygiene practices. Remember that the people most likely to have poor hygiene are children, and since you are trying to look older, keeping yourself neat and clean will be important in looking the part. Shower daily, brush your teeth, and keep yourself neat.[Image:Avoid-Being-Late-for-School-Step-11.jpg|center]]\\nKeep your hair neat and kempt. Get regular haircuts and wash it often.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress as if you are slightly older than your age.\", \"描述\": \"The clothes that you choose to wear can have a huge impact on how old you are perceived to be. Don’t wear clothes with cartoon characters, glitter, or wild designs on them. These have a tendency to make you look younger. Chose clothes that are nice, neat, fitted but not tight, and not flashy.\\nMake sure you always wear clothes that are ironed and clean.\\nDon’t be overly trendy. Stick with the classics.\\nWear clothes that fit you well. Get your clothes tailored if possible and necessary.\\nAvoid wearing a lot of bright colors. Opt for a more monochromatic look.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider getting glasses.\", \"描述\": \"Glasses are primarily worn by older people, so many have a tendency to associate anyone wearing glasses with being more mature. If you wear contacts, consider switching to wearing glasses, instead. If you have good vision and don’t need glasses, consider selecting a pair that do not have a prescription in them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear a little makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Makeup can either make or break you in your quest to looking older. If you wear too much, you will look like you are trying too hard which will make you appear slightly immature. Opt for a natural look. Wear a bit of foundation, concealer and perhaps lipstick as well.\\nAvoid wearing lipstick colors like blue or black. Opt for reds or more neutral colors.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Improve your posture.\", \"描述\": \"Slouching won't portray the mature appearance you desire. Hold your head up high and straighten your back. Use body language to communicate maturity. Sit up straight when sitting and keep your arms uncrossed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid a lot of accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Though wearing accessories in moderation can certainly be a good thing, wearing too many simultaneously can make you look gaudy. Stick with a key one or two accessories and try not to wear much more. You don’t want to appear to be too flashy.\\nWear only one or two rings.\\nWear a belt with a sensibly sized buckle.\\nAvoid wearing extremely large earrings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gaining Wisdom\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen closely to what others say.\", \"描述\": \"Few things demonstrate maturity as well as being a good listener. Be a good conversationalist. Be interested in what people are saying; try to add occasional comments.\\nTry to remember two to three things about your conversations with people and then ask about them later. This will help to show the person that you were listening and that you care about them.\\nRemember that people enjoy talking about themselves. Tap into that desire by asking them questions and then listening intently.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improve your vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"Try to learn at least one new word per day and try to include them in your everyday language. Though many mistakenly attribute using cuss words with people who are older, avoid cursing as much as possible. It indicates that you are trying a bit too hard and does not convey maturity.\\nTo learn new words, you can use flashcards to write a few down per week. Keep them in your wallet and study them in your spare time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read more.\", \"描述\": \"Read the news, read books, read magazines. Read whatever you can get your hands on. The more you read, the more you will know and the more mature you will appear to people. Work to make sure that you are continuously learning and developing your knowledge base. Then, you can talk with people about world issues or interesting things you have read about to develop a dialogue with them.\\nConsider getting a newspaper subscription.\\nDownload a news source app on your phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people you respect and admire.\", \"描述\": \"It is said that you are the a combination of the five people that you spend the most time with, so be mindful of who those people are. Try to spend more time with people who are older and more mature with you. You will eventually pick up many of their positive mannerisms and may be perceived as older.\\nLook for respectful, healthy ways to end relationships with people who are immature or who impact your life negatively.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set goals and reach them.\", \"描述\": \"Another indicator of a truly mature person is the ability to set a goal and achieve it. Think daily on your life and ways that you could improve it and write down a list of your top objectives for the year. Write out ways that you can achieve these goals and work daily to achieve them.\\nFor instance, perhaps you want to become student body president. Write out all of the steps in that process and begin planning.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"You shouldn't change who you are on the inside. While it may be important to you for others to see that you are older, who you are shouldn't suffer. Most people are aware when you are \\\"faking\\\" it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,004 | How to Be One of the Best Students in Your School | 1. Participating in Class
1-1. Attend class every day unless you’re sick.
Going to class will help you learn the coursework. Plus, it gives you a chance to impress your teacher with your thoughts and questions. Go to school everyday so you can stay on top of your coursework.
Be on time for class so your teacher sees that you're taking school seriously.
It’s important to stay home if you’re ill. Contact your teacher to get your assignments and ask a classmate for a copy of their notes. Additionally, do any assignments that you miss.
1-2. Bring all of the materials you need for class.
Being prepared for class is super important because it ensures you have the tools for success. Additionally, it shows your teacher that you’re ready to learn, which helps you have a great reputation. Read your syllabus or talk to your teacher to make sure you have the items you need every day.
For instance, always have a writing utensil, something to write on, and your text. If your school allows electronics, bring your laptop or tablet for note taking.
If you can’t afford your class materials, that’s okay! Talk to your teacher to find out how you can get help getting the supplies you need to be successful.
1-3. Read the texts your teacher assigns before class.
You probably have a ton of stuff to do, so you might be tempted to skip the readings your teacher assigns. However, this can make it hard for you to learn the material. Always do your assigned readings before the day of class so you’re fully prepared to discuss the subject matter.
Reading the text ahead of time also allows you to figure out what you don’t understand so you can ask questions in class.
1-4. Make notes on the reading to use during class discussions.
If you’re allowed to mark up your book, highlight important passages and make notes. If you can’t write in your book or have a digital book, write your notes in your notebook. Review your notes before class so that you have something to say during the class discussion.
As an example, you might write, “The weather seems to represent the main character’s mood,” or “The two generals could have won the battle if they’d worked together instead of against each other.”
It’s also helpful to write down questions that you want to ask. For instance, you might plan to ask, “Is the star in this story a symbol? What does it symbolize?”
1-5. Ask questions about material you don’t understand.
You may feel embarrassed when you don’t understand something, but it’s normal to have questions. In fact, it shows everyone that you’re a good student who wants to learn! If you have a question, ask it during class or talk to your teacher after class.
It’s best to ask questions during class. You might even be helping your classmates who have the same question.
If you’re too shy to ask, stay for a few minutes after class, talk to your teacher after school, or send your teacher an email.
1-6. Take good notes
Class discussions and lectures have a lot of important information that will help you understand your coursework. Write down the topics your teacher highlights in class. Additionally, note the important details they focus on during the class discussion.
As an example, write down important names, dates, and concepts in history class. When studying literature, take notes about topics like theme and literary devices that the author uses, such as symbolism or metaphor.
Your teacher will likely pull a lot of their test questions from the class discussion, so good notes can help you ace your exams.
2. Developing Good Study Habits
2-1. Schedule time for homework and studying into your routine.
It’s important that you take time to study and do your homework daily so that it’s a habit. Pick a time that works best for you, such as right after school, during study hall, or in the morning before school. Then, dedicate this time to your homework or study sessions.
For instance, you might set aside 30 minutes before school and 1 hour every evening after dinner.
You might have days when you have less homework. Use these days to review your notes, make flashcards, or start preparing for a test.
2-2. Create a distraction-free study environment.
Pick a spot that feels comfortable and serves as a good workspace, like a desk in your bedroom or your kitchen table. Turn off your electronics or remove them from your study space, and get rid of other distractions, as well. Then, put the items that you need for studying nearby.
For instance, place writing utensils and paper in your workspace so you always have them.
2-3. Do your homework
You’ll be more academically successful if you consistently study. Use your study time every day, even if you don’t have assignments due. Read your texts, review your notes, use flashcards, or work on future assignments.
This will help you absorb the material better so that you can remember it for your exams. Additionally, it’ll help you avoid getting behind when you’re having a busy week.
2-4. Break bigger assignments into smaller chunks so they’re easier to do.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by major assignments, like essays, projects, and tests. To make them easier, break them up into smaller, easy-to-accomplish steps. Then, check off each step so that it’s easier to get your assignment done.
Start working on your assignment as soon as you get it instead of waiting until right before it’s due.
For instance, let's say your teacher assigns a research paper that's due in 3 weeks. You might pick your topic on the day you get the assignment. Then, spend 2-3 days doing initial research before writing your thesis statement. Next, you could give yourself a week to do more research and write a first draft, then another week to do revisions. This leaves you 2-3 days to proofread and finalize your paper.
As another example, let's say you have a week to build a molecule for science class. You might spend the first day researching the molecule you plan to build. On day 2, you might sketch the molecule and buy your supplies. Then, you could build the model over the next 5 days.
3. Improving Your Grades
3-1. Use a planner
Your workload will likely increase as the school year progresses, and it’s easy to lose track of when assignments are due. Write down every assignment that you receive and its due date. Additionally, add study and homework goals to your planner. This will help you stay on top of your school work.
You can buy a planner or make your own.
3-2. Organize your class materials in a binder, folder, or notebook.
Keep your handouts, assignments, and notes in a 3-ring binder or folder. Additionally, store your digital files on your computer, in a Google Drive, or on a flash drive. If you prefer, write your class notes in a spiral notebook. Sort through these items weekly to make sure they stay organized.
If you work on different computers, use a flash drive or Google Drive to make it easier to access your files from any computer.
Don’t throw away your classwork until the end of the year. Instead, leave your work in your class folder or in a folder that you keep at home. This way you can go back and study it if you need to do so.
3-3. Turn in your assignments on time so you get full credit.
You work hard on your school work, so you want to get the credit you deserve. Make sure you always turn in your assignments on time so you don’t lose points for being late. This includes both homework and major assignments, like essays or projects.
Sometimes you might have a legitimate excuse for being late, such as a major illness. If this happens, talk to your teacher before the assignment is due so you can get an extension. This way you can still get full credit for your work.
3-4. Join a study group
Studying with your peers allows you all to learn better. You can share your knowledge and get tips from your classmates. Look for a study group at your school or form one by inviting your classmates to a study session.
Stay on task during your study group sessions. Don’t talk about anything other than your school work.
Spending time with other aspiring achievers can motivate you to do your best.
3-5. Attend tutoring if you need help understanding a topic.
Don’t worry if you’re having trouble understanding your coursework because that’s a common problem. Instead, attend after-school tutoring with your teacher or go to peer tutoring. This will help you better understand so you can do well on your assignments.
It’s likely that the information you’re going to learn next will build on what you’re learning now, so it’s essential that you understand. Your teacher is there to help, so don't be afraid to ask questions.
4. Getting Involved in Your School Culture
4-1. Join student council to take an active role in your school.
The student council is your school’s student leadership body, so being a member shows everyone that you’re involved in your school. Run for student office each year to show your school pride and try for a leadership position. If you lose the election, join student council as a student body member.
For instance, you might run for student body president, secretary, or treasurer. If you aren’t elected, don’t despair! You can still participate in student council, typically as a student body member.
Talk to a member of student council or the faculty adviser to find out more information.
4-2. Take part in clubs or organizations that interest you.
Look for clubs or organizations that are related to your interests or hobbies. Then, attend their meetings to figure out if you want to participate in them. Pick a few clubs that feel like a good fit for you.
As an example, you might join the art club if you enjoy making art or the Spanish club if you’re interested in learning Spanish or participating in cultural events.
4-3. Try out for a sport if you enjoy athletics.
Playing sports is a great way to participate in your school’s culture! Attend tryouts for the sports you enjoy so you can play on a team.
You could play one or more sports, depending on your interests.
If you like sports but don’t want to play, ask about being a team manager or athletic trainer so you can still be part of the team.
Tips
Study every day so you don’t have to cram for a test.
Talk to your teacher so they get to know you better.
Remember that your teachers are there to help you.
Warnings
Don’t stress yourself out. Just do your best because that’s all you can do.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Participating in Class\\n1-1. Attend class every day unless you’re sick.\\nGoing to class will help you learn the coursework. Plus, it gives you a chance to impress your teacher with your thoughts and questions. Go to school everyday so you can stay on top of your coursework.\\nBe on time for class so your teacher sees that you're taking school seriously.\\nIt’s important to stay home if you’re ill. Contact your teacher to get your assignments and ask a classmate for a copy of their notes. Additionally, do any assignments that you miss.\\n1-2. Bring all of the materials you need for class.\\nBeing prepared for class is super important because it ensures you have the tools for success. Additionally, it shows your teacher that you’re ready to learn, which helps you have a great reputation. Read your syllabus or talk to your teacher to make sure you have the items you need every day.\\nFor instance, always have a writing utensil, something to write on, and your text. If your school allows electronics, bring your laptop or tablet for note taking.\\nIf you can’t afford your class materials, that’s okay! Talk to your teacher to find out how you can get help getting the supplies you need to be successful.\\n1-3. Read the texts your teacher assigns before class.\\nYou probably have a ton of stuff to do, so you might be tempted to skip the readings your teacher assigns. However, this can make it hard for you to learn the material. Always do your assigned readings before the day of class so you’re fully prepared to discuss the subject matter.\\nReading the text ahead of time also allows you to figure out what you don’t understand so you can ask questions in class.\\n1-4. Make notes on the reading to use during class discussions.\\nIf you’re allowed to mark up your book, highlight important passages and make notes. If you can’t write in your book or have a digital book, write your notes in your notebook. Review your notes before class so that you have something to say during the class discussion.\\nAs an example, you might write, “The weather seems to represent the main character’s mood,” or “The two generals could have won the battle if they’d worked together instead of against each other.”\\nIt’s also helpful to write down questions that you want to ask. For instance, you might plan to ask, “Is the star in this story a symbol? What does it symbolize?”\\n1-5. Ask questions about material you don’t understand.\\nYou may feel embarrassed when you don’t understand something, but it’s normal to have questions. In fact, it shows everyone that you’re a good student who wants to learn! If you have a question, ask it during class or talk to your teacher after class.\\nIt’s best to ask questions during class. You might even be helping your classmates who have the same question.\\nIf you’re too shy to ask, stay for a few minutes after class, talk to your teacher after school, or send your teacher an email.\\n1-6. Take good notes\\nClass discussions and lectures have a lot of important information that will help you understand your coursework. Write down the topics your teacher highlights in class. Additionally, note the important details they focus on during the class discussion.\\nAs an example, write down important names, dates, and concepts in history class. When studying literature, take notes about topics like theme and literary devices that the author uses, such as symbolism or metaphor.\\nYour teacher will likely pull a lot of their test questions from the class discussion, so good notes can help you ace your exams.\\n2. Developing Good Study Habits\\n2-1. Schedule time for homework and studying into your routine.\\nIt’s important that you take time to study and do your homework daily so that it’s a habit. Pick a time that works best for you, such as right after school, during study hall, or in the morning before school. Then, dedicate this time to your homework or study sessions.\\nFor instance, you might set aside 30 minutes before school and 1 hour every evening after dinner.\\nYou might have days when you have less homework. Use these days to review your notes, make flashcards, or start preparing for a test.\\n2-2. Create a distraction-free study environment.\\nPick a spot that feels comfortable and serves as a good workspace, like a desk in your bedroom or your kitchen table. Turn off your electronics or remove them from your study space, and get rid of other distractions, as well. Then, put the items that you need for studying nearby.\\nFor instance, place writing utensils and paper in your workspace so you always have them.\\n2-3. Do your homework\\nYou’ll be more academically successful if you consistently study. Use your study time every day, even if you don’t have assignments due. Read your texts, review your notes, use flashcards, or work on future assignments.\\nThis will help you absorb the material better so that you can remember it for your exams. Additionally, it’ll help you avoid getting behind when you’re having a busy week.\\n2-4. Break bigger assignments into smaller chunks so they’re easier to do.\\nIt’s normal to feel overwhelmed by major assignments, like essays, projects, and tests. To make them easier, break them up into smaller, easy-to-accomplish steps. Then, check off each step so that it’s easier to get your assignment done.\\nStart working on your assignment as soon as you get it instead of waiting until right before it’s due.\\nFor instance, let's say your teacher assigns a research paper that's due in 3 weeks. You might pick your topic on the day you get the assignment. Then, spend 2-3 days doing initial research before writing your thesis statement. Next, you could give yourself a week to do more research and write a first draft, then another week to do revisions. This leaves you 2-3 days to proofread and finalize your paper.\\nAs another example, let's say you have a week to build a molecule for science class. You might spend the first day researching the molecule you plan to build. On day 2, you might sketch the molecule and buy your supplies. Then, you could build the model over the next 5 days.\\n3. Improving Your Grades\\n3-1. Use a planner\\nYour workload will likely increase as the school year progresses, and it’s easy to lose track of when assignments are due. Write down every assignment that you receive and its due date. Additionally, add study and homework goals to your planner. This will help you stay on top of your school work.\\nYou can buy a planner or make your own.\\n3-2. Organize your class materials in a binder, folder, or notebook.\\nKeep your handouts, assignments, and notes in a 3-ring binder or folder. Additionally, store your digital files on your computer, in a Google Drive, or on a flash drive. If you prefer, write your class notes in a spiral notebook. Sort through these items weekly to make sure they stay organized.\\nIf you work on different computers, use a flash drive or Google Drive to make it easier to access your files from any computer.\\nDon’t throw away your classwork until the end of the year. Instead, leave your work in your class folder or in a folder that you keep at home. This way you can go back and study it if you need to do so.\\n3-3. Turn in your assignments on time so you get full credit.\\nYou work hard on your school work, so you want to get the credit you deserve. Make sure you always turn in your assignments on time so you don’t lose points for being late. This includes both homework and major assignments, like essays or projects.\\nSometimes you might have a legitimate excuse for being late, such as a major illness. If this happens, talk to your teacher before the assignment is due so you can get an extension. This way you can still get full credit for your work.\\n3-4. Join a study group\\nStudying with your peers allows you all to learn better. You can share your knowledge and get tips from your classmates. Look for a study group at your school or form one by inviting your classmates to a study session.\\nStay on task during your study group sessions. Don’t talk about anything other than your school work.\\nSpending time with other aspiring achievers can motivate you to do your best.\\n3-5. Attend tutoring if you need help understanding a topic.\\nDon’t worry if you’re having trouble understanding your coursework because that’s a common problem. Instead, attend after-school tutoring with your teacher or go to peer tutoring. This will help you better understand so you can do well on your assignments.\\nIt’s likely that the information you’re going to learn next will build on what you’re learning now, so it’s essential that you understand. Your teacher is there to help, so don't be afraid to ask questions.\\n4. Getting Involved in Your School Culture\\n4-1. Join student council to take an active role in your school.\\nThe student council is your school’s student leadership body, so being a member shows everyone that you’re involved in your school. Run for student office each year to show your school pride and try for a leadership position. If you lose the election, join student council as a student body member.\\nFor instance, you might run for student body president, secretary, or treasurer. If you aren’t elected, don’t despair! You can still participate in student council, typically as a student body member.\\nTalk to a member of student council or the faculty adviser to find out more information.\\n4-2. Take part in clubs or organizations that interest you.\\nLook for clubs or organizations that are related to your interests or hobbies. Then, attend their meetings to figure out if you want to participate in them. Pick a few clubs that feel like a good fit for you.\\nAs an example, you might join the art club if you enjoy making art or the Spanish club if you’re interested in learning Spanish or participating in cultural events.\\n4-3. Try out for a sport if you enjoy athletics.\\nPlaying sports is a great way to participate in your school’s culture! Attend tryouts for the sports you enjoy so you can play on a team.\\nYou could play one or more sports, depending on your interests.\\nIf you like sports but don’t want to play, ask about being a team manager or athletic trainer so you can still be part of the team.\\nTips\\nStudy every day so you don’t have to cram for a test.\\nTalk to your teacher so they get to know you better.\\nRemember that your teachers are there to help you.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t stress yourself out. Just do your best because that’s all you can do.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a stand-out student is a great goal that can give you a bright future! Fortunately, being a top student at your school might be easier than you think. Impress your teachers and raise your academic standing by participating in class, developing good study habits, and improving your grades. Additionally, take part in your school’s culture by joining student council, participating in extracurriculars, or joining a sports team.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Participating in Class\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attend class every day unless you’re sick.\", \"描述\": \"Going to class will help you learn the coursework. Plus, it gives you a chance to impress your teacher with your thoughts and questions. Go to school everyday so you can stay on top of your coursework.\\nBe on time for class so your teacher sees that you're taking school seriously.\\nIt’s important to stay home if you’re ill. Contact your teacher to get your assignments and ask a classmate for a copy of their notes. Additionally, do any assignments that you miss.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring all of the materials you need for class.\", \"描述\": \"Being prepared for class is super important because it ensures you have the tools for success. Additionally, it shows your teacher that you’re ready to learn, which helps you have a great reputation. Read your syllabus or talk to your teacher to make sure you have the items you need every day.\\nFor instance, always have a writing utensil, something to write on, and your text. If your school allows electronics, bring your laptop or tablet for note taking.\\nIf you can’t afford your class materials, that’s okay! Talk to your teacher to find out how you can get help getting the supplies you need to be successful.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read the texts your teacher assigns before class.\", \"描述\": \"You probably have a ton of stuff to do, so you might be tempted to skip the readings your teacher assigns. However, this can make it hard for you to learn the material. Always do your assigned readings before the day of class so you’re fully prepared to discuss the subject matter.\\nReading the text ahead of time also allows you to figure out what you don’t understand so you can ask questions in class.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make notes on the reading to use during class discussions.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re allowed to mark up your book, highlight important passages and make notes. If you can’t write in your book or have a digital book, write your notes in your notebook. Review your notes before class so that you have something to say during the class discussion.\\nAs an example, you might write, “The weather seems to represent the main character’s mood,” or “The two generals could have won the battle if they’d worked together instead of against each other.”\\nIt’s also helpful to write down questions that you want to ask. For instance, you might plan to ask, “Is the star in this story a symbol? What does it symbolize?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask questions about material you don’t understand.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel embarrassed when you don’t understand something, but it’s normal to have questions. In fact, it shows everyone that you’re a good student who wants to learn! If you have a question, ask it during class or talk to your teacher after class.\\nIt’s best to ask questions during class. You might even be helping your classmates who have the same question.\\nIf you’re too shy to ask, stay for a few minutes after class, talk to your teacher after school, or send your teacher an email.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take good notes\", \"描述\": \"Class discussions and lectures have a lot of important information that will help you understand your coursework. Write down the topics your teacher highlights in class. Additionally, note the important details they focus on during the class discussion.\\nAs an example, write down important names, dates, and concepts in history class. When studying literature, take notes about topics like theme and literary devices that the author uses, such as symbolism or metaphor.\\nYour teacher will likely pull a lot of their test questions from the class discussion, so good notes can help you ace your exams.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Good Study Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Schedule time for homework and studying into your routine.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important that you take time to study and do your homework daily so that it’s a habit. Pick a time that works best for you, such as right after school, during study hall, or in the morning before school. Then, dedicate this time to your homework or study sessions.\\nFor instance, you might set aside 30 minutes before school and 1 hour every evening after dinner.\\nYou might have days when you have less homework. Use these days to review your notes, make flashcards, or start preparing for a test.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a distraction-free study environment.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a spot that feels comfortable and serves as a good workspace, like a desk in your bedroom or your kitchen table. Turn off your electronics or remove them from your study space, and get rid of other distractions, as well. Then, put the items that you need for studying nearby.\\nFor instance, place writing utensils and paper in your workspace so you always have them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do your homework\", \"描述\": \"You’ll be more academically successful if you consistently study. Use your study time every day, even if you don’t have assignments due. Read your texts, review your notes, use flashcards, or work on future assignments.\\nThis will help you absorb the material better so that you can remember it for your exams. Additionally, it’ll help you avoid getting behind when you’re having a busy week.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Break bigger assignments into smaller chunks so they’re easier to do.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by major assignments, like essays, projects, and tests. To make them easier, break them up into smaller, easy-to-accomplish steps. Then, check off each step so that it’s easier to get your assignment done.\\nStart working on your assignment as soon as you get it instead of waiting until right before it’s due.\\nFor instance, let's say your teacher assigns a research paper that's due in 3 weeks. You might pick your topic on the day you get the assignment. Then, spend 2-3 days doing initial research before writing your thesis statement. Next, you could give yourself a week to do more research and write a first draft, then another week to do revisions. This leaves you 2-3 days to proofread and finalize your paper.\\nAs another example, let's say you have a week to build a molecule for science class. You might spend the first day researching the molecule you plan to build. On day 2, you might sketch the molecule and buy your supplies. Then, you could build the model over the next 5 days.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Grades\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a planner\", \"描述\": \"Your workload will likely increase as the school year progresses, and it’s easy to lose track of when assignments are due. Write down every assignment that you receive and its due date. Additionally, add study and homework goals to your planner. This will help you stay on top of your school work.\\nYou can buy a planner or make your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Organize your class materials in a binder, folder, or notebook.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your handouts, assignments, and notes in a 3-ring binder or folder. Additionally, store your digital files on your computer, in a Google Drive, or on a flash drive. If you prefer, write your class notes in a spiral notebook. Sort through these items weekly to make sure they stay organized.\\nIf you work on different computers, use a flash drive or Google Drive to make it easier to access your files from any computer.\\nDon’t throw away your classwork until the end of the year. Instead, leave your work in your class folder or in a folder that you keep at home. This way you can go back and study it if you need to do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn in your assignments on time so you get full credit.\", \"描述\": \"You work hard on your school work, so you want to get the credit you deserve. Make sure you always turn in your assignments on time so you don’t lose points for being late. This includes both homework and major assignments, like essays or projects.\\nSometimes you might have a legitimate excuse for being late, such as a major illness. If this happens, talk to your teacher before the assignment is due so you can get an extension. This way you can still get full credit for your work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join a study group\", \"描述\": \"Studying with your peers allows you all to learn better. You can share your knowledge and get tips from your classmates. Look for a study group at your school or form one by inviting your classmates to a study session.\\nStay on task during your study group sessions. Don’t talk about anything other than your school work.\\nSpending time with other aspiring achievers can motivate you to do your best.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Attend tutoring if you need help understanding a topic.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t worry if you’re having trouble understanding your coursework because that’s a common problem. Instead, attend after-school tutoring with your teacher or go to peer tutoring. This will help you better understand so you can do well on your assignments.\\nIt’s likely that the information you’re going to learn next will build on what you’re learning now, so it’s essential that you understand. Your teacher is there to help, so don't be afraid to ask questions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved in Your School Culture\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join student council to take an active role in your school.\", \"描述\": \"The student council is your school’s student leadership body, so being a member shows everyone that you’re involved in your school. Run for student office each year to show your school pride and try for a leadership position. If you lose the election, join student council as a student body member.\\nFor instance, you might run for student body president, secretary, or treasurer. If you aren’t elected, don’t despair! You can still participate in student council, typically as a student body member.\\nTalk to a member of student council or the faculty adviser to find out more information.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take part in clubs or organizations that interest you.\", \"描述\": \"Look for clubs or organizations that are related to your interests or hobbies. Then, attend their meetings to figure out if you want to participate in them. Pick a few clubs that feel like a good fit for you.\\nAs an example, you might join the art club if you enjoy making art or the Spanish club if you’re interested in learning Spanish or participating in cultural events.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try out for a sport if you enjoy athletics.\", \"描述\": \"Playing sports is a great way to participate in your school’s culture! Attend tryouts for the sports you enjoy so you can play on a team.\\nYou could play one or more sports, depending on your interests.\\nIf you like sports but don’t want to play, ask about being a team manager or athletic trainer so you can still be part of the team.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Study every day so you don’t have to cram for a test.\\n\", \"Talk to your teacher so they get to know you better.\\n\", \"Remember that your teachers are there to help you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t stress yourself out. Just do your best because that’s all you can do.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,005 | How to Be Anonymous Online: 11 Privacy-Boosting Tricks | 1. Using Anonymity Tools and Practices
1-1. Use a Virtual Private Network (VPN).
A VPN(Virtual Private Network) encrypts everything you do on the internet, keeping you essentially anonymous on the internet. The general rule is that if you're using a solid VPN service, all of your internet activity will remain private. Using a VPN also prevents your ISP from seeing what you're doing online. However, many VPN servers do keep logs of your activities and can be subpoenaed in the event you're suspected of a crime.
Although your ISP or other people on your local network can't see what you're doing when you're connected to a VPN, the VPN provider can. Unfortunately, there's no sure way to verify that a VPN provider doesn't log what you do on their service. Research VPNs thoroughly before selecting one.
1-2. Browse from a public Wi-Fi access point (with exceptions).
To stay truly anonymous, your connection to the internet should not involve your ISP. That's where public Wi-Fi services come in. However, it's super important that you not pass any personal information over one of these networks that you don't want others to see.
Do not connect to a public access point if you need to do something private pertaining to your own identity, such as banking or dealing with social security numbers. Even if you see that there's an open network available, make sure you know it's the legitimate one for the location. Hackers often set up Wi-Fi networks that look similar to existing ones specifically to steal data. Even if the wireless network is legit, someone shady may be running a tool that can sniff all active traffic.
A good quadruple-whammy solution would be to spoof your IP address, connect to public Wi-Fi, connect to a VPN, and then browse through TOR.
1-3. Install privacy-protecting browser add-ons/extensions.
If you want to avoid being tracked on the web, there are a variety of tools you can install through your web browser:
This browser extension ensures that you're always visiting the encrypted (https) version of a website. You can get it for Chrome, Firefox, Edge, and Opera web browsers. It comes pre-installed in more security-focused web browsers like Brave and Tor.
This tool, designed by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) blocks third-party tracking cookies so advertising services and websites can't keep tracking you once you leave their pages. You can get Privacy Badger for Firefox, Edge, and Opera web browsers.
This is another tool similar to Privacy Badger that blocks third-party tracking cookies. It also blocks ads and allows you to customize your blocking preferences. Available for Firefox, Chrome, Edge, and Opera.
A Firefox-only add-on that blocks all JavaScript on websites. Since many websites need JavaScript to work properly, you can manually manage a whitelist to allow JavaScript on sites you trust.
1-4. Replace your web browser with Tor.
The Tor web browser routes all of your traffic through its own network, making your web browsing virtually anonymous. When you browse through Tor, it's very difficult (not impossible, but close) for your ISP, a network administrator, or a Wi-Fi hacker to see the websites you visit or the sites you sign in to.
Never download Tor from anywhere other than https://www.torproject.org.
If you don't want your ISP to know that you browse with Tor, you'll need to use it over a VPN.
1-5. Spoof your MAC address.
Your MAC address is the hardware address that identifies your computer to your router. Every time you connect to a network, your MAC address broadcasts itself to announce your presence. You can use a fake MAC address to anonymize your activity on the network. However, websites you visit and sign into will still be visible to your ISP and network administrators, although you can use a VPN as another layer of protection.
1-6. Try your browser's private mode.
If you're worried about people finding out what you do on a shared computer, browse in your web browser's private or incognito mode. Nearly all web browsers come with a built-in browsing mode that prevents your web browsing history and cache from saving to your computer. Chrome allows you to open a new "Incognito" window, Safari and Firefox allow you to open "Private" windows, and Edge calls their private mode "In Private."
1-7. Use an alternative search engine that focuses on privacy.
Search engines like Google, Bing, and Yandex store your search queries along with your IP address (and account if you are logged in). They also use cookies to track how you use the search engine and to keep tabs on what sites you visit. This information is compiled and analyzed to more accurately target ads and provide relevant search results. To avoid this sort of tracking, use an alternative, privacy-focused search engine like DuckDuckGo or StartPage.
1-8. Use a throwaway email or a privacy friendly email provider to register for sites.
Make sure that the email address you create does not contain any personal information, and is not tied to any accounts that store your personal information. Email providers claiming being secure and privacy-friendly are ProtonMail, Tutanota, etc.
Some popular free email providers that make it fast to sign up for new accounts are Gmail and Yahoo Mail.
Try Protonmail if you want to send encrypted email messages without providing any personal data.
2. Learning How You're Tracked Online
2-1. Be aware of what your ISP can track.
Your Internet Service Provider (ISP) is the service you use to connect to the internet. When your modem or router makes a connection to the internet, it is assigned an IP address—this address is trackable to your account. This means that at the very least, anyone who can see your IP address can identify your ISP. If you do something illegal from this IP address, a government jurisdiction (such as the local police or even the FBI) can serve a subpoena to your ISP to find out who was using that IP address at that time, and what sites and services were accessed. Some other things that your ISP can identify based on your IP address:
If you visit https:///www.wikiHow.com while connected to the internet, your ISP logs that domain name. In theory, they can tell how often you visit wikiHow, what you downloaded (if anything), and how long you spend on the website. Although they can find this information, they won't be watching unless they are serviced with a subpoena that requires them to do so. If you frequently visit websites that focus on illegal content, your activity may be flagged by your ISP.
A Media Access Control (MAC) address is an address assigned specifically to your computer's Wi-Fi or network card. Your ISP can determine which MAC address on your network was used with an IP address at a specific time—this means that if you're on your school, work, or home network, the network administrator can identify the sites and services used by your computer.
If you make connections to (or receive connections on) certain port numbers, your ISP can often determine what kind of services you're using, such as browsing the web (usually ports 443 and 80) or sending emails (usually ports 25, 587, 587, or 465).
If you use a VPN on top of your internet connection to hide what you're doing online, your ISP can see which VPN you're using and when you connected. They cannot, however, see exactly what you're doing on the VPN.
2-2. Find out what websites can learn about you.
Most websites make money by displaying ads. To successfully get visitors to click (and make purchases from) ads, site owners and ad networks need to know what your interests are and how you use the internet so they can show you relevant ads. Websites collect data by installing tracking cookies on your computer, which can tell them what other sites you visit, your location, the browser and operating system you're using, how long you spend on their site, which links you've clinked, whether you're signed in to certain social media sites like Facebook, what you search for, and even your laptop's battery level. All of this occurs automatically when visiting sites doing this data mining, without you noticing.
To get an idea of what a website can learn about you just by visiting it once, check out https://webkay.robinlinus.com. As soon as you load the page, you'll see some startling information.
Not all cookies are bad. In fact, it's important to allow some cookies. Cookies are used to store pieces of data on your computer to make your browsing experience easier. For example, cookies make it possible to sign in to accounts that require passwords, add items to shopping carts, and more. However, some cookies, called "tracking cookies" or "third-party cookies" are meant to track your activity on all websites, just not the one you're visiting.
Google plans to ban all third-party tracking cookies from the Chrome web browser by 2022.
2-3. Know your wireless access point.
Do you connect to public Wi-Fi access points, such as those in cafes? How about at your friends' homes? The reality is that any time you connect to public Wi-Fi (or a Wi-Fi access point that you don't manage yourself), there's a possibility someone is actively snooping your data. If a malicious user has access to the public Wi-Fi access point, connecting your computer, phone, tablet, or smartwatch to that wireless network can see almost everything you do while signed in—including entering your passwords, viewing your banking data, and finding out your contact info.
Tips
No matter how much you cover your tracks, there is always some information that can potentially be used to profile and potentially identify you. The goal of using anonymity tools is to reduce the amount of information available, but due to the nature of the internet, you cannot ever be truly anonymous.
When browsing online, you have to make the choice between convenience and anonymity. It's not exactly easy to stay anonymous online, and requires a significant amount of conscious effort. You'll face much slower connections when browsing websites, and you'll have to jump through more hoops before you even go online. If your anonymity is important to you, be prepared to make some sacrifices.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Anonymity Tools and Practices\\n1-1. Use a Virtual Private Network (VPN).\\nA VPN(Virtual Private Network) encrypts everything you do on the internet, keeping you essentially anonymous on the internet. The general rule is that if you're using a solid VPN service, all of your internet activity will remain private. Using a VPN also prevents your ISP from seeing what you're doing online. However, many VPN servers do keep logs of your activities and can be subpoenaed in the event you're suspected of a crime.\\nAlthough your ISP or other people on your local network can't see what you're doing when you're connected to a VPN, the VPN provider can. Unfortunately, there's no sure way to verify that a VPN provider doesn't log what you do on their service. Research VPNs thoroughly before selecting one.\\n1-2. Browse from a public Wi-Fi access point (with exceptions).\\nTo stay truly anonymous, your connection to the internet should not involve your ISP. That's where public Wi-Fi services come in. However, it's super important that you not pass any personal information over one of these networks that you don't want others to see.\\nDo not connect to a public access point if you need to do something private pertaining to your own identity, such as banking or dealing with social security numbers. Even if you see that there's an open network available, make sure you know it's the legitimate one for the location. Hackers often set up Wi-Fi networks that look similar to existing ones specifically to steal data. Even if the wireless network is legit, someone shady may be running a tool that can sniff all active traffic.\\nA good quadruple-whammy solution would be to spoof your IP address, connect to public Wi-Fi, connect to a VPN, and then browse through TOR.\\n1-3. Install privacy-protecting browser add-ons/extensions.\\nIf you want to avoid being tracked on the web, there are a variety of tools you can install through your web browser:\\n\\n This browser extension ensures that you're always visiting the encrypted (https) version of a website. You can get it for Chrome, Firefox, Edge, and Opera web browsers. It comes pre-installed in more security-focused web browsers like Brave and Tor.\\n\\n This tool, designed by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) blocks third-party tracking cookies so advertising services and websites can't keep tracking you once you leave their pages. You can get Privacy Badger for Firefox, Edge, and Opera web browsers.\\n This is another tool similar to Privacy Badger that blocks third-party tracking cookies. It also blocks ads and allows you to customize your blocking preferences. Available for Firefox, Chrome, Edge, and Opera.\\n A Firefox-only add-on that blocks all JavaScript on websites. Since many websites need JavaScript to work properly, you can manually manage a whitelist to allow JavaScript on sites you trust.\\n1-4. Replace your web browser with Tor.\\nThe Tor web browser routes all of your traffic through its own network, making your web browsing virtually anonymous. When you browse through Tor, it's very difficult (not impossible, but close) for your ISP, a network administrator, or a Wi-Fi hacker to see the websites you visit or the sites you sign in to.\\nNever download Tor from anywhere other than https://www.torproject.org.\\nIf you don't want your ISP to know that you browse with Tor, you'll need to use it over a VPN.\\n1-5. Spoof your MAC address.\\nYour MAC address is the hardware address that identifies your computer to your router. Every time you connect to a network, your MAC address broadcasts itself to announce your presence. You can use a fake MAC address to anonymize your activity on the network. However, websites you visit and sign into will still be visible to your ISP and network administrators, although you can use a VPN as another layer of protection.\\n1-6. Try your browser's private mode.\\nIf you're worried about people finding out what you do on a shared computer, browse in your web browser's private or incognito mode. Nearly all web browsers come with a built-in browsing mode that prevents your web browsing history and cache from saving to your computer. Chrome allows you to open a new \\\"Incognito\\\" window, Safari and Firefox allow you to open \\\"Private\\\" windows, and Edge calls their private mode \\\"In Private.\\\"\\n1-7. Use an alternative search engine that focuses on privacy.\\nSearch engines like Google, Bing, and Yandex store your search queries along with your IP address (and account if you are logged in). They also use cookies to track how you use the search engine and to keep tabs on what sites you visit. This information is compiled and analyzed to more accurately target ads and provide relevant search results. To avoid this sort of tracking, use an alternative, privacy-focused search engine like DuckDuckGo or StartPage.\\n1-8. Use a throwaway email or a privacy friendly email provider to register for sites.\\nMake sure that the email address you create does not contain any personal information, and is not tied to any accounts that store your personal information. Email providers claiming being secure and privacy-friendly are ProtonMail, Tutanota, etc.\\nSome popular free email providers that make it fast to sign up for new accounts are Gmail and Yahoo Mail.\\nTry Protonmail if you want to send encrypted email messages without providing any personal data.\\n2. Learning How You're Tracked Online\\n2-1. Be aware of what your ISP can track.\\nYour Internet Service Provider (ISP) is the service you use to connect to the internet. When your modem or router makes a connection to the internet, it is assigned an IP address—this address is trackable to your account. This means that at the very least, anyone who can see your IP address can identify your ISP. If you do something illegal from this IP address, a government jurisdiction (such as the local police or even the FBI) can serve a subpoena to your ISP to find out who was using that IP address at that time, and what sites and services were accessed. Some other things that your ISP can identify based on your IP address:\\n\\n If you visit https:///www.wikiHow.com while connected to the internet, your ISP logs that domain name. In theory, they can tell how often you visit wikiHow, what you downloaded (if anything), and how long you spend on the website. Although they can find this information, they won't be watching unless they are serviced with a subpoena that requires them to do so. If you frequently visit websites that focus on illegal content, your activity may be flagged by your ISP.\\n\\n A Media Access Control (MAC) address is an address assigned specifically to your computer's Wi-Fi or network card. Your ISP can determine which MAC address on your network was used with an IP address at a specific time—this means that if you're on your school, work, or home network, the network administrator can identify the sites and services used by your computer.\\n If you make connections to (or receive connections on) certain port numbers, your ISP can often determine what kind of services you're using, such as browsing the web (usually ports 443 and 80) or sending emails (usually ports 25, 587, 587, or 465).\\n If you use a VPN on top of your internet connection to hide what you're doing online, your ISP can see which VPN you're using and when you connected. They cannot, however, see exactly what you're doing on the VPN.\\n2-2. Find out what websites can learn about you.\\nMost websites make money by displaying ads. To successfully get visitors to click (and make purchases from) ads, site owners and ad networks need to know what your interests are and how you use the internet so they can show you relevant ads. Websites collect data by installing tracking cookies on your computer, which can tell them what other sites you visit, your location, the browser and operating system you're using, how long you spend on their site, which links you've clinked, whether you're signed in to certain social media sites like Facebook, what you search for, and even your laptop's battery level. All of this occurs automatically when visiting sites doing this data mining, without you noticing.\\nTo get an idea of what a website can learn about you just by visiting it once, check out https://webkay.robinlinus.com. As soon as you load the page, you'll see some startling information.\\nNot all cookies are bad. In fact, it's important to allow some cookies. Cookies are used to store pieces of data on your computer to make your browsing experience easier. For example, cookies make it possible to sign in to accounts that require passwords, add items to shopping carts, and more. However, some cookies, called \\\"tracking cookies\\\" or \\\"third-party cookies\\\" are meant to track your activity on all websites, just not the one you're visiting.\\nGoogle plans to ban all third-party tracking cookies from the Chrome web browser by 2022.\\n2-3. Know your wireless access point.\\nDo you connect to public Wi-Fi access points, such as those in cafes? How about at your friends' homes? The reality is that any time you connect to public Wi-Fi (or a Wi-Fi access point that you don't manage yourself), there's a possibility someone is actively snooping your data. If a malicious user has access to the public Wi-Fi access point, connecting your computer, phone, tablet, or smartwatch to that wireless network can see almost everything you do while signed in—including entering your passwords, viewing your banking data, and finding out your contact info.\\nTips\\nNo matter how much you cover your tracks, there is always some information that can potentially be used to profile and potentially identify you. The goal of using anonymity tools is to reduce the amount of information available, but due to the nature of the internet, you cannot ever be truly anonymous.\\nWhen browsing online, you have to make the choice between convenience and anonymity. It's not exactly easy to stay anonymous online, and requires a significant amount of conscious effort. You'll face much slower connections when browsing websites, and you'll have to jump through more hoops before you even go online. If your anonymity is important to you, be prepared to make some sacrifices.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You deserve to have privacy online, but these days it can feel like you’re being tracked constantly. The good news is, you don’t have to be a computer expert (or give up your electronics) to keep a low profile on the web. We’ve created a comprehensive guide to help you ditch digital spies and minimize your online footprint. Read on to take control of your data and regain your digital privacy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Anonymity Tools and Practices\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a Virtual Private Network (VPN).\", \"描述\": \"A VPN(Virtual Private Network) encrypts everything you do on the internet, keeping you essentially anonymous on the internet. The general rule is that if you're using a solid VPN service, all of your internet activity will remain private. Using a VPN also prevents your ISP from seeing what you're doing online. However, many VPN servers do keep logs of your activities and can be subpoenaed in the event you're suspected of a crime.\\nAlthough your ISP or other people on your local network can't see what you're doing when you're connected to a VPN, the VPN provider can. Unfortunately, there's no sure way to verify that a VPN provider doesn't log what you do on their service. Research VPNs thoroughly before selecting one.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Browse from a public Wi-Fi access point (with exceptions).\", \"描述\": \"To stay truly anonymous, your connection to the internet should not involve your ISP. That's where public Wi-Fi services come in. However, it's super important that you not pass any personal information over one of these networks that you don't want others to see.\\nDo not connect to a public access point if you need to do something private pertaining to your own identity, such as banking or dealing with social security numbers. Even if you see that there's an open network available, make sure you know it's the legitimate one for the location. Hackers often set up Wi-Fi networks that look similar to existing ones specifically to steal data. Even if the wireless network is legit, someone shady may be running a tool that can sniff all active traffic.\\nA good quadruple-whammy solution would be to spoof your IP address, connect to public Wi-Fi, connect to a VPN, and then browse through TOR.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Install privacy-protecting browser add-ons/extensions.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to avoid being tracked on the web, there are a variety of tools you can install through your web browser:\\n\\n This browser extension ensures that you're always visiting the encrypted (https) version of a website. You can get it for Chrome, Firefox, Edge, and Opera web browsers. It comes pre-installed in more security-focused web browsers like Brave and Tor.\\n\\n This tool, designed by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) blocks third-party tracking cookies so advertising services and websites can't keep tracking you once you leave their pages. You can get Privacy Badger for Firefox, Edge, and Opera web browsers.\\n This is another tool similar to Privacy Badger that blocks third-party tracking cookies. It also blocks ads and allows you to customize your blocking preferences. Available for Firefox, Chrome, Edge, and Opera.\\n A Firefox-only add-on that blocks all JavaScript on websites. Since many websites need JavaScript to work properly, you can manually manage a whitelist to allow JavaScript on sites you trust.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Replace your web browser with Tor.\", \"描述\": \"The Tor web browser routes all of your traffic through its own network, making your web browsing virtually anonymous. When you browse through Tor, it's very difficult (not impossible, but close) for your ISP, a network administrator, or a Wi-Fi hacker to see the websites you visit or the sites you sign in to.\\nNever download Tor from anywhere other than https://www.torproject.org.\\nIf you don't want your ISP to know that you browse with Tor, you'll need to use it over a VPN.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Spoof your MAC address.\", \"描述\": \"Your MAC address is the hardware address that identifies your computer to your router. Every time you connect to a network, your MAC address broadcasts itself to announce your presence. You can use a fake MAC address to anonymize your activity on the network. However, websites you visit and sign into will still be visible to your ISP and network administrators, although you can use a VPN as another layer of protection.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try your browser's private mode.\", \"描述\": \"If you're worried about people finding out what you do on a shared computer, browse in your web browser's private or incognito mode. Nearly all web browsers come with a built-in browsing mode that prevents your web browsing history and cache from saving to your computer. Chrome allows you to open a new \\\"Incognito\\\" window, Safari and Firefox allow you to open \\\"Private\\\" windows, and Edge calls their private mode \\\"In Private.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use an alternative search engine that focuses on privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Search engines like Google, Bing, and Yandex store your search queries along with your IP address (and account if you are logged in). They also use cookies to track how you use the search engine and to keep tabs on what sites you visit. This information is compiled and analyzed to more accurately target ads and provide relevant search results. To avoid this sort of tracking, use an alternative, privacy-focused search engine like DuckDuckGo or StartPage.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use a throwaway email or a privacy friendly email provider to register for sites.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that the email address you create does not contain any personal information, and is not tied to any accounts that store your personal information. Email providers claiming being secure and privacy-friendly are ProtonMail, Tutanota, etc.\\nSome popular free email providers that make it fast to sign up for new accounts are Gmail and Yahoo Mail.\\nTry Protonmail if you want to send encrypted email messages without providing any personal data.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning How You're Tracked Online\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be aware of what your ISP can track.\", \"描述\": \"Your Internet Service Provider (ISP) is the service you use to connect to the internet. When your modem or router makes a connection to the internet, it is assigned an IP address—this address is trackable to your account. This means that at the very least, anyone who can see your IP address can identify your ISP. If you do something illegal from this IP address, a government jurisdiction (such as the local police or even the FBI) can serve a subpoena to your ISP to find out who was using that IP address at that time, and what sites and services were accessed. Some other things that your ISP can identify based on your IP address:\\n\\n If you visit https:///www.wikiHow.com while connected to the internet, your ISP logs that domain name. In theory, they can tell how often you visit wikiHow, what you downloaded (if anything), and how long you spend on the website. Although they can find this information, they won't be watching unless they are serviced with a subpoena that requires them to do so. If you frequently visit websites that focus on illegal content, your activity may be flagged by your ISP.\\n\\n A Media Access Control (MAC) address is an address assigned specifically to your computer's Wi-Fi or network card. Your ISP can determine which MAC address on your network was used with an IP address at a specific time—this means that if you're on your school, work, or home network, the network administrator can identify the sites and services used by your computer.\\n If you make connections to (or receive connections on) certain port numbers, your ISP can often determine what kind of services you're using, such as browsing the web (usually ports 443 and 80) or sending emails (usually ports 25, 587, 587, or 465).\\n If you use a VPN on top of your internet connection to hide what you're doing online, your ISP can see which VPN you're using and when you connected. They cannot, however, see exactly what you're doing on the VPN.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out what websites can learn about you.\", \"描述\": \"Most websites make money by displaying ads. To successfully get visitors to click (and make purchases from) ads, site owners and ad networks need to know what your interests are and how you use the internet so they can show you relevant ads. Websites collect data by installing tracking cookies on your computer, which can tell them what other sites you visit, your location, the browser and operating system you're using, how long you spend on their site, which links you've clinked, whether you're signed in to certain social media sites like Facebook, what you search for, and even your laptop's battery level. All of this occurs automatically when visiting sites doing this data mining, without you noticing.\\nTo get an idea of what a website can learn about you just by visiting it once, check out https://webkay.robinlinus.com. As soon as you load the page, you'll see some startling information.\\nNot all cookies are bad. In fact, it's important to allow some cookies. Cookies are used to store pieces of data on your computer to make your browsing experience easier. For example, cookies make it possible to sign in to accounts that require passwords, add items to shopping carts, and more. However, some cookies, called \\\"tracking cookies\\\" or \\\"third-party cookies\\\" are meant to track your activity on all websites, just not the one you're visiting.\\nGoogle plans to ban all third-party tracking cookies from the Chrome web browser by 2022.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know your wireless access point.\", \"描述\": \"Do you connect to public Wi-Fi access points, such as those in cafes? How about at your friends' homes? The reality is that any time you connect to public Wi-Fi (or a Wi-Fi access point that you don't manage yourself), there's a possibility someone is actively snooping your data. If a malicious user has access to the public Wi-Fi access point, connecting your computer, phone, tablet, or smartwatch to that wireless network can see almost everything you do while signed in—including entering your passwords, viewing your banking data, and finding out your contact info.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"No matter how much you cover your tracks, there is always some information that can potentially be used to profile and potentially identify you. The goal of using anonymity tools is to reduce the amount of information available, but due to the nature of the internet, you cannot ever be truly anonymous.\\n\", \"When browsing online, you have to make the choice between convenience and anonymity. It's not exactly easy to stay anonymous online, and requires a significant amount of conscious effort. You'll face much slower connections when browsing websites, and you'll have to jump through more hoops before you even go online. If your anonymity is important to you, be prepared to make some sacrifices.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,006 | How to Be Open-Minded | 1. Embrace the unknown.
You can’t be in charge of everything in your life.
Sure, this may sound a bit broad, but the unknown can really mean something as simple as taking a different route to work, finally accepting that coffee date with your neighbor, or seeing a movie by a director you’ve never heard of. If you want to be more open-minded, then the first thing you have to do is embrace something that is completely foreign to you.
Have you never checked out that new restaurant in town because you don’t know what it’s like there? Now’s the time to check it out.
Have you avoided signing up for that English class you’re interested in because you don’t know anything about Romantic poetry? Go for it.
Have you avoided the Barre classes at your yoga studio because you’re afraid you won’t know what you’re doing? Take a beginner’s class to dip your feet in.
2. Don’t knock anything before you try it.
Keep an open mind about things you’ve never done before.
Close-minded people are famous for forming negative opinions of things they’ve never even tried. They may hate the other pizza place in town without even setting foot in the door, or they think the vegan movement is completely silly without ever trying it themselves. So, the next time you catch yourself espousing a negative opinion about something, ask yourself what evidence you have to support your ideas.
Try researching a subject to learn more about it. If, for example, you aren’t sure why people are vegans, try searching online or checking out a book about it.
If you find that there is absolutely no evidence to prove your case, then you should try that thing yourself before you say anything else.
3. Accept more invitations.
Head out to a party or lunch with a new friend.
Though you don’t have to say yes to every invitation, you can make a habit of saying yes 50% more and going to parties or places where you never thought you’d end up. It could be a potluck at your neighbor’s house, your aunt’s yearly barbecue that you always skip, or even a poetry reading your friend has been trying to get you to go to for months. Exposing yourself to a wide variety of events will make you more open-minded.
Try to accept invitations to different types of events. Just saying yes to party invitations may not necessarily broaden your horizons if you say no to everything else.
The next time you say no to something, ask yourself what lies behind this impulse: is this fear of the unknown? An unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone? The desire to be hanging out in bed in your pyjamas instead of meeting new people? Face the feeling and find a way to fight it.
4. See things from multiple perspectives.
Acknowledge that other people have opinions too.
You could do this with almost anything in your life: politics, religion, education, personal beliefs, etc. You don’t have to change your mind or bend any of your morals, but try to see things from the other side. You’ll become more open-minded and learn how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
Let’s say you’re a very devout Christian. Can you try reading up on other religions, or understanding the reasons why someone might not believe in God at all? Make a list of these reasons and see if it makes it easier for you to understand your differing perspectives. This doesn’t mean you have to change your mind, but it will help you have a more open-minded outlook.
5. Focus on the positives.
Many close-minded people view things in a negative light.
The next time you catch a negative thought crossing your brain—or even the next time one escapes your lips—counter it with a positive thought. It might help to think of 3 positive things for every 1 negative thought you have.
Let’s say you catch yourself saying, “It’s freezing today. This weather sucks.” Can you think of anything good about the cold day? Try: “But there’s nothing like drinking a pumpkin spice latte in your favorite café when it’s cold outside.” Or: “Maybe it’ll snow later. I love snow.”
You can find the good in almost any situation. Maybe you hate your 2-hour commute, but you love the alone time you get to listen to your favorite audiobook.
6. Mix up your routine.
Try something new and break your old habits.
It doesn’t have to be anything huge: maybe you have a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast instead of eggs and toast. Maybe you ride your bike to work instead of taking the subway. Getting out of a rut can really help open up your mind and help you start new habits.
Routines are a good way to bring order and stability to your life, and there’s nothing wrong with them. But if you want to be more open-minded, mixing it up once in a while will show you that there’s more than one way to live your life.
Let’s say you planned to stay in all weekend and watch that ‘’Law & Order’’ marathon you’ve been craving. Your friend invites you to her beach house at the last minute—if you want to start changing your life for the better and to be more open to new experiences, then you might want to say yes.
7. Read more.
Pick a variety of things to read and just dive in.
You should read widely: non-fiction, literary fiction, magazines, newspapers, blogs, or anything in between. Read a book about a country you’ve never been to, or a book about a political movement you don’t know much about. The more you know, the more power you’ll have to make educated decisions and to be more open-minded.
Start a Goodreads account and try to tackle at least 3 books a month. See what other people are reading and get inspired.
Spend hours at a bookshop or the library perusing the shelves until you find a book that speaks out to you. Then, make a goal of finishing it by the weekend.
Join a book club by looking for one online or in your area. This will make you even more open to a wide variety of literature and will expose you to a number of new opinions.
8. Travel as much as you can.
Open your mind to new experiences and cultures.
Though many people have a limited budget, you should make a habit of traveling when you find the money. If you only have a little bit of money to spare, just travel to a fun destination a few hours away from your hometown and try to learn something new. If you have more money to work with, go look at the Mayan ruins in Mexico, check out the plethora of museums in Paris, or spend a weekend in Montreal.
If you can’t afford to travel, watch the Travel Network. Though it won’t be as exciting as the real thing, it will give you more perspective into how people live in other countries.
9. Get out of your comfort zone.
Pick something you’re afraid of and try it out.
Maybe you’re afraid of heights. Go stand on the roof of a building (if it’s allowed). Hate going to noisy restaurants? Make a dinner date and see how it goes. Afraid of meeting new people? Go to a singles’ mixer or a meet-and-greet in your town or let your friend drag you to a party. Make a habit of doing this as often as you can and you’ll slowly feel your mind opening up.
Write down 5 things that make you really uncomfortable. Find a way to do as many as you can. This will take time and courage, but you’ll feel better for it!
10. Don’t judge a person until you know them.
Pre-judging someone can close off a relationship before it starts.
Try to keep your opinion neutral until you actually chat with someone and get to know them more. Even if you’ve heard about them from a friend, you don’t actually know much about them until you talk to them yourself.
The next time you meet a new person, try to really understand where they’re coming from before you form any kind of an opinion. If they talk loudly, maybe they’re used to being ignored or looked over. If they seem standoffish, they might just be anxious or shy.
When you’re meeting a friend of a friend, try to see it like this: if your friend likes this person, then there must be something good about them. Try to seek it out.
11. Ask people lots of questions.
Learn something new from everyone you meet.
You can do this with an old friend or someone you’ve never met before. Ask them what they’ve been up to, if they’ve read anything good lately, or how their last vacation was. The more interested you are in other people’s lives, the more you’ll learn from them.
If you know the person well, ask them about what their childhood was like. You may hear some really interesting details and will learn something new.
For example, you might ask, “How are your parents doing?” “How’s the city life treating you?” “What do you do for fun?” “Did you like growing up around here?”
12. Make friends with people from different walks of life.
Broaden your friendship horizons to get different perspectives.
It’s fine to keep your close friends that you’ve known for 10 years, but you should also try to branch out a little. Make friends from work, your ceramics class, your favorite neighborhood bar, or from different classes in school as well.
Though you shouldn’t hand pick your friends based on their diversity, try to hang out with people that have a variety of jobs, interests, and backgrounds.
Tips
Try teaching other people about your ideas instead of arguing about them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Embrace the unknown.\\nYou can’t be in charge of everything in your life.\\nSure, this may sound a bit broad, but the unknown can really mean something as simple as taking a different route to work, finally accepting that coffee date with your neighbor, or seeing a movie by a director you’ve never heard of. If you want to be more open-minded, then the first thing you have to do is embrace something that is completely foreign to you.\\nHave you never checked out that new restaurant in town because you don’t know what it’s like there? Now’s the time to check it out.\\nHave you avoided signing up for that English class you’re interested in because you don’t know anything about Romantic poetry? Go for it.\\nHave you avoided the Barre classes at your yoga studio because you’re afraid you won’t know what you’re doing? Take a beginner’s class to dip your feet in.\\n2. Don’t knock anything before you try it.\\nKeep an open mind about things you’ve never done before.\\nClose-minded people are famous for forming negative opinions of things they’ve never even tried. They may hate the other pizza place in town without even setting foot in the door, or they think the vegan movement is completely silly without ever trying it themselves. So, the next time you catch yourself espousing a negative opinion about something, ask yourself what evidence you have to support your ideas.\\nTry researching a subject to learn more about it. If, for example, you aren’t sure why people are vegans, try searching online or checking out a book about it.\\nIf you find that there is absolutely no evidence to prove your case, then you should try that thing yourself before you say anything else.\\n3. Accept more invitations.\\nHead out to a party or lunch with a new friend.\\nThough you don’t have to say yes to every invitation, you can make a habit of saying yes 50% more and going to parties or places where you never thought you’d end up. It could be a potluck at your neighbor’s house, your aunt’s yearly barbecue that you always skip, or even a poetry reading your friend has been trying to get you to go to for months. Exposing yourself to a wide variety of events will make you more open-minded.\\nTry to accept invitations to different types of events. Just saying yes to party invitations may not necessarily broaden your horizons if you say no to everything else.\\nThe next time you say no to something, ask yourself what lies behind this impulse: is this fear of the unknown? An unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone? The desire to be hanging out in bed in your pyjamas instead of meeting new people? Face the feeling and find a way to fight it.\\n4. See things from multiple perspectives.\\nAcknowledge that other people have opinions too.\\nYou could do this with almost anything in your life: politics, religion, education, personal beliefs, etc. You don’t have to change your mind or bend any of your morals, but try to see things from the other side. You’ll become more open-minded and learn how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.\\nLet’s say you’re a very devout Christian. Can you try reading up on other religions, or understanding the reasons why someone might not believe in God at all? Make a list of these reasons and see if it makes it easier for you to understand your differing perspectives. This doesn’t mean you have to change your mind, but it will help you have a more open-minded outlook.\\n5. Focus on the positives.\\nMany close-minded people view things in a negative light.\\nThe next time you catch a negative thought crossing your brain—or even the next time one escapes your lips—counter it with a positive thought. It might help to think of 3 positive things for every 1 negative thought you have.\\nLet’s say you catch yourself saying, “It’s freezing today. This weather sucks.” Can you think of anything good about the cold day? Try: “But there’s nothing like drinking a pumpkin spice latte in your favorite café when it’s cold outside.” Or: “Maybe it’ll snow later. I love snow.”\\nYou can find the good in almost any situation. Maybe you hate your 2-hour commute, but you love the alone time you get to listen to your favorite audiobook.\\n6. Mix up your routine.\\nTry something new and break your old habits.\\nIt doesn’t have to be anything huge: maybe you have a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast instead of eggs and toast. Maybe you ride your bike to work instead of taking the subway. Getting out of a rut can really help open up your mind and help you start new habits.\\nRoutines are a good way to bring order and stability to your life, and there’s nothing wrong with them. But if you want to be more open-minded, mixing it up once in a while will show you that there’s more than one way to live your life.\\nLet’s say you planned to stay in all weekend and watch that ‘’Law & Order’’ marathon you’ve been craving. Your friend invites you to her beach house at the last minute—if you want to start changing your life for the better and to be more open to new experiences, then you might want to say yes.\\n7. Read more.\\nPick a variety of things to read and just dive in.\\nYou should read widely: non-fiction, literary fiction, magazines, newspapers, blogs, or anything in between. Read a book about a country you’ve never been to, or a book about a political movement you don’t know much about. The more you know, the more power you’ll have to make educated decisions and to be more open-minded.\\nStart a Goodreads account and try to tackle at least 3 books a month. See what other people are reading and get inspired.\\nSpend hours at a bookshop or the library perusing the shelves until you find a book that speaks out to you. Then, make a goal of finishing it by the weekend.\\nJoin a book club by looking for one online or in your area. This will make you even more open to a wide variety of literature and will expose you to a number of new opinions.\\n8. Travel as much as you can.\\nOpen your mind to new experiences and cultures.\\nThough many people have a limited budget, you should make a habit of traveling when you find the money. If you only have a little bit of money to spare, just travel to a fun destination a few hours away from your hometown and try to learn something new. If you have more money to work with, go look at the Mayan ruins in Mexico, check out the plethora of museums in Paris, or spend a weekend in Montreal.\\nIf you can’t afford to travel, watch the Travel Network. Though it won’t be as exciting as the real thing, it will give you more perspective into how people live in other countries.\\n9. Get out of your comfort zone.\\nPick something you’re afraid of and try it out.\\nMaybe you’re afraid of heights. Go stand on the roof of a building (if it’s allowed). Hate going to noisy restaurants? Make a dinner date and see how it goes. Afraid of meeting new people? Go to a singles’ mixer or a meet-and-greet in your town or let your friend drag you to a party. Make a habit of doing this as often as you can and you’ll slowly feel your mind opening up.\\nWrite down 5 things that make you really uncomfortable. Find a way to do as many as you can. This will take time and courage, but you’ll feel better for it!\\n10. Don’t judge a person until you know them.\\nPre-judging someone can close off a relationship before it starts.\\nTry to keep your opinion neutral until you actually chat with someone and get to know them more. Even if you’ve heard about them from a friend, you don’t actually know much about them until you talk to them yourself.\\nThe next time you meet a new person, try to really understand where they’re coming from before you form any kind of an opinion. If they talk loudly, maybe they’re used to being ignored or looked over. If they seem standoffish, they might just be anxious or shy.\\nWhen you’re meeting a friend of a friend, try to see it like this: if your friend likes this person, then there must be something good about them. Try to seek it out.\\n11. Ask people lots of questions.\\nLearn something new from everyone you meet.\\nYou can do this with an old friend or someone you’ve never met before. Ask them what they’ve been up to, if they’ve read anything good lately, or how their last vacation was. The more interested you are in other people’s lives, the more you’ll learn from them.\\nIf you know the person well, ask them about what their childhood was like. You may hear some really interesting details and will learn something new.\\nFor example, you might ask, “How are your parents doing?” “How’s the city life treating you?” “What do you do for fun?” “Did you like growing up around here?”\\n12. Make friends with people from different walks of life.\\nBroaden your friendship horizons to get different perspectives.\\nIt’s fine to keep your close friends that you’ve known for 10 years, but you should also try to branch out a little. Make friends from work, your ceramics class, your favorite neighborhood bar, or from different classes in school as well.\\nThough you shouldn’t hand pick your friends based on their diversity, try to hang out with people that have a variety of jobs, interests, and backgrounds.\\nTips\\nTry teaching other people about your ideas instead of arguing about them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re tired of looking at the world in the same old way, it might be time to broaden your horizons. Becoming more open-minded can help you live an exciting, inquisitive life in which you never stop learning or growing. By making just a few changes to your daily routine, you can open up your mind and say goodbye to your old close-minded ways.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace the unknown.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can’t be in charge of everything in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, this may sound a bit broad, but the unknown can really mean something as simple as taking a different route to work, finally accepting that coffee date with your neighbor, or seeing a movie by a director you’ve never heard of. If you want to be more open-minded, then the first thing you have to do is embrace something that is completely foreign to you.\\nHave you never checked out that new restaurant in town because you don’t know what it’s like there? Now’s the time to check it out.\\nHave you avoided signing up for that English class you’re interested in because you don’t know anything about Romantic poetry? Go for it.\\nHave you avoided the Barre classes at your yoga studio because you’re afraid you won’t know what you’re doing? Take a beginner’s class to dip your feet in.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t knock anything before you try it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep an open mind about things you’ve never done before.\", \"描述\": \"Close-minded people are famous for forming negative opinions of things they’ve never even tried. They may hate the other pizza place in town without even setting foot in the door, or they think the vegan movement is completely silly without ever trying it themselves. So, the next time you catch yourself espousing a negative opinion about something, ask yourself what evidence you have to support your ideas.\\nTry researching a subject to learn more about it. If, for example, you aren’t sure why people are vegans, try searching online or checking out a book about it.\\nIf you find that there is absolutely no evidence to prove your case, then you should try that thing yourself before you say anything else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept more invitations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Head out to a party or lunch with a new friend.\", \"描述\": \"Though you don’t have to say yes to every invitation, you can make a habit of saying yes 50% more and going to parties or places where you never thought you’d end up. It could be a potluck at your neighbor’s house, your aunt’s yearly barbecue that you always skip, or even a poetry reading your friend has been trying to get you to go to for months. Exposing yourself to a wide variety of events will make you more open-minded.\\nTry to accept invitations to different types of events. Just saying yes to party invitations may not necessarily broaden your horizons if you say no to everything else.\\nThe next time you say no to something, ask yourself what lies behind this impulse: is this fear of the unknown? An unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone? The desire to be hanging out in bed in your pyjamas instead of meeting new people? Face the feeling and find a way to fight it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"See things from multiple perspectives.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge that other people have opinions too.\", \"描述\": \"You could do this with almost anything in your life: politics, religion, education, personal beliefs, etc. You don’t have to change your mind or bend any of your morals, but try to see things from the other side. You’ll become more open-minded and learn how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.\\nLet’s say you’re a very devout Christian. Can you try reading up on other religions, or understanding the reasons why someone might not believe in God at all? Make a list of these reasons and see if it makes it easier for you to understand your differing perspectives. This doesn’t mean you have to change your mind, but it will help you have a more open-minded outlook.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positives.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Many close-minded people view things in a negative light.\", \"描述\": \"The next time you catch a negative thought crossing your brain—or even the next time one escapes your lips—counter it with a positive thought. It might help to think of 3 positive things for every 1 negative thought you have.\\nLet’s say you catch yourself saying, “It’s freezing today. This weather sucks.” Can you think of anything good about the cold day? Try: “But there’s nothing like drinking a pumpkin spice latte in your favorite café when it’s cold outside.” Or: “Maybe it’ll snow later. I love snow.”\\nYou can find the good in almost any situation. Maybe you hate your 2-hour commute, but you love the alone time you get to listen to your favorite audiobook.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Mix up your routine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try something new and break your old habits.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t have to be anything huge: maybe you have a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast instead of eggs and toast. Maybe you ride your bike to work instead of taking the subway. Getting out of a rut can really help open up your mind and help you start new habits.\\nRoutines are a good way to bring order and stability to your life, and there’s nothing wrong with them. But if you want to be more open-minded, mixing it up once in a while will show you that there’s more than one way to live your life.\\nLet’s say you planned to stay in all weekend and watch that ‘’Law & Order’’ marathon you’ve been craving. Your friend invites you to her beach house at the last minute—if you want to start changing your life for the better and to be more open to new experiences, then you might want to say yes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Read more.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a variety of things to read and just dive in.\", \"描述\": \"You should read widely: non-fiction, literary fiction, magazines, newspapers, blogs, or anything in between. Read a book about a country you’ve never been to, or a book about a political movement you don’t know much about. The more you know, the more power you’ll have to make educated decisions and to be more open-minded.\\nStart a Goodreads account and try to tackle at least 3 books a month. See what other people are reading and get inspired.\\nSpend hours at a bookshop or the library perusing the shelves until you find a book that speaks out to you. Then, make a goal of finishing it by the weekend.\\nJoin a book club by looking for one online or in your area. This will make you even more open to a wide variety of literature and will expose you to a number of new opinions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Travel as much as you can.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your mind to new experiences and cultures.\", \"描述\": \"Though many people have a limited budget, you should make a habit of traveling when you find the money. If you only have a little bit of money to spare, just travel to a fun destination a few hours away from your hometown and try to learn something new. If you have more money to work with, go look at the Mayan ruins in Mexico, check out the plethora of museums in Paris, or spend a weekend in Montreal.\\nIf you can’t afford to travel, watch the Travel Network. Though it won’t be as exciting as the real thing, it will give you more perspective into how people live in other countries.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get out of your comfort zone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick something you’re afraid of and try it out.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you’re afraid of heights. Go stand on the roof of a building (if it’s allowed). Hate going to noisy restaurants? Make a dinner date and see how it goes. Afraid of meeting new people? Go to a singles’ mixer or a meet-and-greet in your town or let your friend drag you to a party. Make a habit of doing this as often as you can and you’ll slowly feel your mind opening up.\\nWrite down 5 things that make you really uncomfortable. Find a way to do as many as you can. This will take time and courage, but you’ll feel better for it!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don’t judge a person until you know them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pre-judging someone can close off a relationship before it starts.\", \"描述\": \"Try to keep your opinion neutral until you actually chat with someone and get to know them more. Even if you’ve heard about them from a friend, you don’t actually know much about them until you talk to them yourself.\\nThe next time you meet a new person, try to really understand where they’re coming from before you form any kind of an opinion. If they talk loudly, maybe they’re used to being ignored or looked over. If they seem standoffish, they might just be anxious or shy.\\nWhen you’re meeting a friend of a friend, try to see it like this: if your friend likes this person, then there must be something good about them. Try to seek it out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Ask people lots of questions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn something new from everyone you meet.\", \"描述\": \"You can do this with an old friend or someone you’ve never met before. Ask them what they’ve been up to, if they’ve read anything good lately, or how their last vacation was. The more interested you are in other people’s lives, the more you’ll learn from them.\\nIf you know the person well, ask them about what their childhood was like. You may hear some really interesting details and will learn something new.\\nFor example, you might ask, “How are your parents doing?” “How’s the city life treating you?” “What do you do for fun?” “Did you like growing up around here?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Make friends with people from different walks of life.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Broaden your friendship horizons to get different perspectives.\", \"描述\": \"It’s fine to keep your close friends that you’ve known for 10 years, but you should also try to branch out a little. Make friends from work, your ceramics class, your favorite neighborhood bar, or from different classes in school as well.\\nThough you shouldn’t hand pick your friends based on their diversity, try to hang out with people that have a variety of jobs, interests, and backgrounds.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try teaching other people about your ideas instead of arguing about them.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,007 | How to Be Openly Autistic | 1. Making the Decision
1-1. Work on accepting yourself.
If you aren't okay with being autistic, then you may not feel ready for being openly autistic. Get comfortable with yourself and allow yourself to be different. Take small steps if need be, and reach out for support. You may want to get involved in the autistic community for many reasons, including to realize that you are not alone.
1-2. Recognize the benefits of being publicly autistic.
Disclosing your autism will allow people to understand you better, and allow you to focus on things besides appearing non-autistic. Here are some things to consider:
"Passing" as non-autistic can be incredibly draining. Autistic people who spend less energy on hiding their autistic traits have better mental health.
People may be more accepting of your differences if they know that they're caused by autism and not by negative personality traits. They may be more patient if you do something odd, since they might be more likely to assume you meant no harm.
People may be more accommodating with you if they know that your struggles or social slip-ups are related to a disability and not a lack of effort. They may end up being more patient and helpful when you need it.
Getting to know you as an autistic person can help others gain a better understanding of autism, including breaking negative stereotypes.
1-3. Recognize the drawbacks of others knowing you are autistic.
In an ideal world, people could be themselves without anyone making a fuss over it. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world, and some people may be unfriendly or rude. You never need to listen to those who speak this way, but you may still find it upsetting.
Ignorant people may judge you based on your diagnosis or your autistic traits. Some may decide to exclude you or be rude to you.
People's opinion of you may change. They may apply negative stereotypes or treat you like a child.
Some people may try to argue with you about what autism is or whether you are "truly" autistic (even if you have a paper diagnosis!).
1-4. Consider how permanent your decision is.
The way you feel now may be different from the way you feel in 15 years. If you are young, you may wish to avoid identifying yourself as an autistic person in the media, in case you decide in the future that you don't want employers to know.
Once something is on the internet, it is on the internet forever. If you want to write extensively about autism, consider using a screen name.
For example, your future employer will not know if you wore a cute autism shirt in college. They will know if you published an essay on autism or were interviewed by a newspaper at an autism acceptance event. Whether you'd like that is up to you.
1-5. Recognize that it isn't black-and-white.
It's a little more nuanced than people thinking you're autistic vs. thinking you're not. You can disclose that you are disabled or that you have different needs without saying that you're autistic. What you choose is up to you and your comfort zone.
"I'm a little quirky, and I have some unusual needs."
"I have a disability that causes _____."
"I have a developmental disability."
"I'm autistic."
2. Being Open
2-1. Prepare a few scripts to explain your autism.
Autism is a highly stigmatized disability, so be prepared to bust myths and inaccuracies as well as explaining the details. Scripting and practicing your responses can make it easier.
"Autism is a common but misunderstood social and developmental disability. I have difficulty understanding people sometimes, sensitive ears, and unusual body language. On the bright side, I'm really good at code."
"Being autistic comes with good, bad, and neutral parts. My body language is a little different, and I'll be really good at some things and need extra help with others."
"There are a lot of myths about autism."
"Hollywood stereotypes autism as much as it stereotypes jocks and nerds. Autism Speaks isn't known for being truthful either. There's a lot of misinformation, so a good deal of the things you may have heard about autism might be false."
2-2. Use a friendly and matter-of-fact tone when speaking about autism.
You can help set the tone of how others view your autism. If you sound confident and okay with it, then they will probably feel okay with it too.
Use open body language: look at them, wear a friendly expression, and use a tone similar to if you were explaining that you have an awesome brother or a degree in engineering.
2-3. Don't hide your autistic traits in public.
If you want to stim, then stim. If you speak with a disability accent sometimes, don't let it stop you from talking. Let yourself be yourself. There is nothing wrong with being disabled in public.
Use the body language that is comfortable to you. You don't have to sit perfectly still or make eye contact if it feels unnatural to you.
Obviously, not all stims are suitable in public. Don't use stims that invade someone's personal space (e.g. playing with their hair without permission), and choose non-distracting stims when people are focusing.
2-4. Explain your differences instead of hiding them.
Some people aren't used to autistic body language—so fix this by giving a quick explanation.
"Eye contact feels uncomfortable and distracting to me. I usually look at people's mouths or shirts so I can focus."
"My listening body language looks a little different from others'. If I'm looking around, fidgeting, or wiggling in my chair, that's just how I pay attention."
"I'm autistic, and flapping my hands is one of the ways I express happiness."
2-5. Try wearing shirts or outfits with an autism-related message.
This is an easy way to tell the world that you are autistic and you don't care who knows it. You might choose a shirt with a message about autism or neurodiversity, or a logo of an organization you like. Rainbow jewelry is also an option.
The neurodiversity symbol (a rainbow infinity sign), red for #RedInstead (formerly #WalkInRed), and rainbows in general are examples of things to wear.
The puzzle piece and "light it up blue" have derogatory connotations, because they are associated with Autism Speaks and messages of fear and pity.
If part of the sale is being donated, make sure that the charity is helpful and not harmful. Some charities increase stigma instead of fighting it.
3. Practicing Self Care
3-1. Accept differences in yourself and others.
Trying to fit in will only make you feel more alone. Let yourself be unique, and celebrate what makes others unique too.
3-2. Look after your health.
Staying healthy is important for everyone, and it is especially important for autistic people, who are at higher risk for stress and anxiety. If your body is healthy, you will feel less stressed. Eat fruits and vegetables, take vitamins, sleep for at least 8 hours, and find ways to get exercise.
Exercise can include taking a walk with a friend, biking, rollerblading, stimming, swinging, hiking, and playing with kids. Exercise can be fun!
When eating, try to fill at least 1/3 of your plate with fruits and vegetables.
3-3. Give yourself plenty of time to relax and recharge.
Life can be stressful for autistic people (and in general!), so it's important to look after your emotional health. Spend time with loved ones and/or your special interest each day.
3-4. Remember that you are valuable.
People with disabilities have skills and love to share with the world. You are lovable and unique, and you have strengths that matter.
Would you talk to them the way you talk to yourself? Treat yourself like a friend, and don't tell yourself things that you wouldn't say to a friend.
What are you good at? How do you help others? Think about strengths related to autism (pattern recognition, focus, special interests) and strengths unique to you.
Visit a soup kitchen, work at an autism acceptance event, or edit articles about autism or your special interest on wikiHow. Knowing that you help others can help you feel better about yourself.
If you feel sad about yourself, tell a loved one, a doctor, or a therapist. Talking can help you feel better, and if you have an illness like depression, it is the first step to recovery.
3-5. Make autistic friends.
Look for autism social clubs, advocacy groups, or online spaces. Autistic friends can help you remember that it's okay to be yourself, share tips, and offer support.
3-6. Surround yourself with accepting and supportive people.
Focus on the positive relationships in your life: loving family members, great friends, encouraging mentors, and fellow autistic people. Don't waste time on people who bring you down. Reach out to the people who make you happy.
Tips
Rainbows are also associated with LGBT+ people. If you are LGBT+ too, then rainbow clothes can do double duty. If you are not, be prepared to explain, just in case someone gets confused.
Warnings
Avoid sources of negative and dehumanizing information, such as Autism Speaks. If someone wants to go to those websites for information, gently steer them away.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making the Decision\\n1-1. Work on accepting yourself.\\nIf you aren't okay with being autistic, then you may not feel ready for being openly autistic. Get comfortable with yourself and allow yourself to be different. Take small steps if need be, and reach out for support. You may want to get involved in the autistic community for many reasons, including to realize that you are not alone.\\n1-2. Recognize the benefits of being publicly autistic.\\nDisclosing your autism will allow people to understand you better, and allow you to focus on things besides appearing non-autistic. Here are some things to consider: \\n\\n \\\"Passing\\\" as non-autistic can be incredibly draining. Autistic people who spend less energy on hiding their autistic traits have better mental health.\\n\\n People may be more accepting of your differences if they know that they're caused by autism and not by negative personality traits. They may be more patient if you do something odd, since they might be more likely to assume you meant no harm.\\n People may be more accommodating with you if they know that your struggles or social slip-ups are related to a disability and not a lack of effort. They may end up being more patient and helpful when you need it.\\n Getting to know you as an autistic person can help others gain a better understanding of autism, including breaking negative stereotypes.\\n1-3. Recognize the drawbacks of others knowing you are autistic.\\nIn an ideal world, people could be themselves without anyone making a fuss over it. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world, and some people may be unfriendly or rude. You never need to listen to those who speak this way, but you may still find it upsetting. \\n\\n Ignorant people may judge you based on your diagnosis or your autistic traits. Some may decide to exclude you or be rude to you.\\n People's opinion of you may change. They may apply negative stereotypes or treat you like a child.\\n Some people may try to argue with you about what autism is or whether you are \\\"truly\\\" autistic (even if you have a paper diagnosis!).\\n1-4. Consider how permanent your decision is.\\nThe way you feel now may be different from the way you feel in 15 years. If you are young, you may wish to avoid identifying yourself as an autistic person in the media, in case you decide in the future that you don't want employers to know. \\nOnce something is on the internet, it is on the internet forever. If you want to write extensively about autism, consider using a screen name.\\nFor example, your future employer will not know if you wore a cute autism shirt in college. They will know if you published an essay on autism or were interviewed by a newspaper at an autism acceptance event. Whether you'd like that is up to you.\\n1-5. Recognize that it isn't black-and-white.\\nIt's a little more nuanced than people thinking you're autistic vs. thinking you're not. You can disclose that you are disabled or that you have different needs without saying that you're autistic. What you choose is up to you and your comfort zone. \\n\\\"I'm a little quirky, and I have some unusual needs.\\\"\\n\\\"I have a disability that causes _____.\\\"\\n\\\"I have a developmental disability.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm autistic.\\\"\\n2. Being Open\\n2-1. Prepare a few scripts to explain your autism.\\nAutism is a highly stigmatized disability, so be prepared to bust myths and inaccuracies as well as explaining the details. Scripting and practicing your responses can make it easier. \\n\\\"Autism is a common but misunderstood social and developmental disability. I have difficulty understanding people sometimes, sensitive ears, and unusual body language. On the bright side, I'm really good at code.\\\"\\n\\\"Being autistic comes with good, bad, and neutral parts. My body language is a little different, and I'll be really good at some things and need extra help with others.\\\"\\n\\\"There are a lot of myths about autism.\\\"\\n\\\"Hollywood stereotypes autism as much as it stereotypes jocks and nerds. Autism Speaks isn't known for being truthful either. There's a lot of misinformation, so a good deal of the things you may have heard about autism might be false.\\\"\\n2-2. Use a friendly and matter-of-fact tone when speaking about autism.\\nYou can help set the tone of how others view your autism. If you sound confident and okay with it, then they will probably feel okay with it too. \\nUse open body language: look at them, wear a friendly expression, and use a tone similar to if you were explaining that you have an awesome brother or a degree in engineering.\\n2-3. Don't hide your autistic traits in public.\\nIf you want to stim, then stim. If you speak with a disability accent sometimes, don't let it stop you from talking. Let yourself be yourself. There is nothing wrong with being disabled in public. \\nUse the body language that is comfortable to you. You don't have to sit perfectly still or make eye contact if it feels unnatural to you.\\nObviously, not all stims are suitable in public. Don't use stims that invade someone's personal space (e.g. playing with their hair without permission), and choose non-distracting stims when people are focusing.\\n2-4. Explain your differences instead of hiding them.\\nSome people aren't used to autistic body language—so fix this by giving a quick explanation. \\n\\\"Eye contact feels uncomfortable and distracting to me. I usually look at people's mouths or shirts so I can focus.\\\"\\n\\\"My listening body language looks a little different from others'. If I'm looking around, fidgeting, or wiggling in my chair, that's just how I pay attention.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm autistic, and flapping my hands is one of the ways I express happiness.\\\"\\n2-5. Try wearing shirts or outfits with an autism-related message.\\nThis is an easy way to tell the world that you are autistic and you don't care who knows it. You might choose a shirt with a message about autism or neurodiversity, or a logo of an organization you like. Rainbow jewelry is also an option. \\nThe neurodiversity symbol (a rainbow infinity sign), red for #RedInstead (formerly #WalkInRed), and rainbows in general are examples of things to wear.\\nThe puzzle piece and \\\"light it up blue\\\" have derogatory connotations, because they are associated with Autism Speaks and messages of fear and pity.\\nIf part of the sale is being donated, make sure that the charity is helpful and not harmful. Some charities increase stigma instead of fighting it.\\n3. Practicing Self Care\\n3-1. Accept differences in yourself and others.\\nTrying to fit in will only make you feel more alone. Let yourself be unique, and celebrate what makes others unique too.\\n3-2. Look after your health.\\nStaying healthy is important for everyone, and it is especially important for autistic people, who are at higher risk for stress and anxiety. If your body is healthy, you will feel less stressed. Eat fruits and vegetables, take vitamins, sleep for at least 8 hours, and find ways to get exercise. \\nExercise can include taking a walk with a friend, biking, rollerblading, stimming, swinging, hiking, and playing with kids. Exercise can be fun!\\nWhen eating, try to fill at least 1/3 of your plate with fruits and vegetables.\\n3-3. Give yourself plenty of time to relax and recharge.\\nLife can be stressful for autistic people (and in general!), so it's important to look after your emotional health. Spend time with loved ones and/or your special interest each day.\\n3-4. Remember that you are valuable.\\nPeople with disabilities have skills and love to share with the world. You are lovable and unique, and you have strengths that matter. \\n\\n Would you talk to them the way you talk to yourself? Treat yourself like a friend, and don't tell yourself things that you wouldn't say to a friend.\\n What are you good at? How do you help others? Think about strengths related to autism (pattern recognition, focus, special interests) and strengths unique to you.\\n Visit a soup kitchen, work at an autism acceptance event, or edit articles about autism or your special interest on wikiHow. Knowing that you help others can help you feel better about yourself.\\n If you feel sad about yourself, tell a loved one, a doctor, or a therapist. Talking can help you feel better, and if you have an illness like depression, it is the first step to recovery.\\n3-5. Make autistic friends.\\nLook for autism social clubs, advocacy groups, or online spaces. Autistic friends can help you remember that it's okay to be yourself, share tips, and offer support.\\n3-6. Surround yourself with accepting and supportive people.\\nFocus on the positive relationships in your life: loving family members, great friends, encouraging mentors, and fellow autistic people. Don't waste time on people who bring you down. Reach out to the people who make you happy.\\nTips\\nRainbows are also associated with LGBT+ people. If you are LGBT+ too, then rainbow clothes can do double duty. If you are not, be prepared to explain, just in case someone gets confused.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid sources of negative and dehumanizing information, such as Autism Speaks. If someone wants to go to those websites for information, gently steer them away.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being publicly open about being autistic can be a big decision. You're choosing to be authentic, to embrace yourself even if others disapprove, and show by example that it is possible to be happy and autistic at the same time.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making the Decision\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work on accepting yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren't okay with being autistic, then you may not feel ready for being openly autistic. Get comfortable with yourself and allow yourself to be different. Take small steps if need be, and reach out for support. You may want to get involved in the autistic community for many reasons, including to realize that you are not alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize the benefits of being publicly autistic.\", \"描述\": \"Disclosing your autism will allow people to understand you better, and allow you to focus on things besides appearing non-autistic. Here are some things to consider: \\n\\n \\\"Passing\\\" as non-autistic can be incredibly draining. Autistic people who spend less energy on hiding their autistic traits have better mental health.\\n\\n People may be more accepting of your differences if they know that they're caused by autism and not by negative personality traits. They may be more patient if you do something odd, since they might be more likely to assume you meant no harm.\\n People may be more accommodating with you if they know that your struggles or social slip-ups are related to a disability and not a lack of effort. They may end up being more patient and helpful when you need it.\\n Getting to know you as an autistic person can help others gain a better understanding of autism, including breaking negative stereotypes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize the drawbacks of others knowing you are autistic.\", \"描述\": \"In an ideal world, people could be themselves without anyone making a fuss over it. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world, and some people may be unfriendly or rude. You never need to listen to those who speak this way, but you may still find it upsetting. \\n\\n Ignorant people may judge you based on your diagnosis or your autistic traits. Some may decide to exclude you or be rude to you.\\n People's opinion of you may change. They may apply negative stereotypes or treat you like a child.\\n Some people may try to argue with you about what autism is or whether you are \\\"truly\\\" autistic (even if you have a paper diagnosis!).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider how permanent your decision is.\", \"描述\": \"The way you feel now may be different from the way you feel in 15 years. If you are young, you may wish to avoid identifying yourself as an autistic person in the media, in case you decide in the future that you don't want employers to know. \\nOnce something is on the internet, it is on the internet forever. If you want to write extensively about autism, consider using a screen name.\\nFor example, your future employer will not know if you wore a cute autism shirt in college. They will know if you published an essay on autism or were interviewed by a newspaper at an autism acceptance event. Whether you'd like that is up to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recognize that it isn't black-and-white.\", \"描述\": \"It's a little more nuanced than people thinking you're autistic vs. thinking you're not. You can disclose that you are disabled or that you have different needs without saying that you're autistic. What you choose is up to you and your comfort zone. \\n\\\"I'm a little quirky, and I have some unusual needs.\\\"\\n\\\"I have a disability that causes _____.\\\"\\n\\\"I have a developmental disability.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm autistic.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Open\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepare a few scripts to explain your autism.\", \"描述\": \"Autism is a highly stigmatized disability, so be prepared to bust myths and inaccuracies as well as explaining the details. Scripting and practicing your responses can make it easier. \\n\\\"Autism is a common but misunderstood social and developmental disability. I have difficulty understanding people sometimes, sensitive ears, and unusual body language. On the bright side, I'm really good at code.\\\"\\n\\\"Being autistic comes with good, bad, and neutral parts. My body language is a little different, and I'll be really good at some things and need extra help with others.\\\"\\n\\\"There are a lot of myths about autism.\\\"\\n\\\"Hollywood stereotypes autism as much as it stereotypes jocks and nerds. Autism Speaks isn't known for being truthful either. There's a lot of misinformation, so a good deal of the things you may have heard about autism might be false.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a friendly and matter-of-fact tone when speaking about autism.\", \"描述\": \"You can help set the tone of how others view your autism. If you sound confident and okay with it, then they will probably feel okay with it too. \\nUse open body language: look at them, wear a friendly expression, and use a tone similar to if you were explaining that you have an awesome brother or a degree in engineering.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't hide your autistic traits in public.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to stim, then stim. If you speak with a disability accent sometimes, don't let it stop you from talking. Let yourself be yourself. There is nothing wrong with being disabled in public. \\nUse the body language that is comfortable to you. You don't have to sit perfectly still or make eye contact if it feels unnatural to you.\\nObviously, not all stims are suitable in public. Don't use stims that invade someone's personal space (e.g. playing with their hair without permission), and choose non-distracting stims when people are focusing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain your differences instead of hiding them.\", \"描述\": \"Some people aren't used to autistic body language—so fix this by giving a quick explanation. \\n\\\"Eye contact feels uncomfortable and distracting to me. I usually look at people's mouths or shirts so I can focus.\\\"\\n\\\"My listening body language looks a little different from others'. If I'm looking around, fidgeting, or wiggling in my chair, that's just how I pay attention.\\\"\\n\\\"I'm autistic, and flapping my hands is one of the ways I express happiness.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try wearing shirts or outfits with an autism-related message.\", \"描述\": \"This is an easy way to tell the world that you are autistic and you don't care who knows it. You might choose a shirt with a message about autism or neurodiversity, or a logo of an organization you like. Rainbow jewelry is also an option. \\nThe neurodiversity symbol (a rainbow infinity sign), red for #RedInstead (formerly #WalkInRed), and rainbows in general are examples of things to wear.\\nThe puzzle piece and \\\"light it up blue\\\" have derogatory connotations, because they are associated with Autism Speaks and messages of fear and pity.\\nIf part of the sale is being donated, make sure that the charity is helpful and not harmful. Some charities increase stigma instead of fighting it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Self Care\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept differences in yourself and others.\", \"描述\": \"Trying to fit in will only make you feel more alone. Let yourself be unique, and celebrate what makes others unique too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look after your health.\", \"描述\": \"Staying healthy is important for everyone, and it is especially important for autistic people, who are at higher risk for stress and anxiety. If your body is healthy, you will feel less stressed. Eat fruits and vegetables, take vitamins, sleep for at least 8 hours, and find ways to get exercise. \\nExercise can include taking a walk with a friend, biking, rollerblading, stimming, swinging, hiking, and playing with kids. Exercise can be fun!\\nWhen eating, try to fill at least 1/3 of your plate with fruits and vegetables.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give yourself plenty of time to relax and recharge.\", \"描述\": \"Life can be stressful for autistic people (and in general!), so it's important to look after your emotional health. Spend time with loved ones and/or your special interest each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember that you are valuable.\", \"描述\": \"People with disabilities have skills and love to share with the world. You are lovable and unique, and you have strengths that matter. \\n\\n Would you talk to them the way you talk to yourself? Treat yourself like a friend, and don't tell yourself things that you wouldn't say to a friend.\\n What are you good at? How do you help others? Think about strengths related to autism (pattern recognition, focus, special interests) and strengths unique to you.\\n Visit a soup kitchen, work at an autism acceptance event, or edit articles about autism or your special interest on wikiHow. Knowing that you help others can help you feel better about yourself.\\n If you feel sad about yourself, tell a loved one, a doctor, or a therapist. Talking can help you feel better, and if you have an illness like depression, it is the first step to recovery.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make autistic friends.\", \"描述\": \"Look for autism social clubs, advocacy groups, or online spaces. Autistic friends can help you remember that it's okay to be yourself, share tips, and offer support.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with accepting and supportive people.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on the positive relationships in your life: loving family members, great friends, encouraging mentors, and fellow autistic people. Don't waste time on people who bring you down. Reach out to the people who make you happy.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Rainbows are also associated with LGBT+ people. If you are LGBT+ too, then rainbow clothes can do double duty. If you are not, be prepared to explain, just in case someone gets confused.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid sources of negative and dehumanizing information, such as Autism Speaks. If someone wants to go to those websites for information, gently steer them away.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,008 | How to Be Optimistic | 1. Learning to Embrace Your Emotions
1-1. Recognize the good and bad in your life and examine how you’ve been affected by each.
Optimism doesn’t mean you have to feel “happy” all the time. In fact, trying to force feelings of happiness during potentially traumatic experiences can be unhealthy. Instead, attune yourself to the full range of emotions in your life, accepting that the negative as well as positive feelings are a natural part of human experience. Trying to repress a certain type of emotion can cause severe emotional distress. Not focusing more on one type of emotion than the other can actually help you become more adaptive and proactive in future unexpected situations. This will increase your ability to be optimistic and resilient in the face of uncertainty.
Negative feelings can become a conditioned habit over time. Avoid blaming yourself for negative emotions and associations. Blame is unhelpful because it doesn’t look forward to how you can grow; it looks backward at what has already happened.
Instead, focus on being mindful of when these negative emotions occur. A journal could help you do this. Write down when you experience negative feelings or thoughts, then examine their contexts and explore alternative ways of responding to them.
For example, imagine that someone cuts you off in traffic. You respond by feeling angry, honking your horn, and perhaps yelling at the driver even though s/he can’t hear you. You could write in your journal what happened, how it made you feel, and what your immediate response was. Don’t judge yourself as “right” or “wrong,” just write down what happened.
Next, take a step back and think about what you’ve written. Was your response in accordance with your values and the type of person you want to be? If not, what could you have done differently? What do you think you were really responding to? For example, perhaps you weren’t really angry at the driver; maybe you had a stressful day and allowed your stress to explode on that one person.
Look forward when you write these entries. Don’t use them just as a place to wallow in negative feelings. Think about what you can learn from the experience. What can you use to grow as a person? Can you use this experience to inform other experiences? If you encounter a similar situation next time, how might you respond in a way that is in line with your values? For example, perhaps realizing that you responded with anger because of your stressful day could help you realize that everyone makes mistakes and encourage you to feel more empathetic with other people the next time someone shows anger toward you. Having a pre-existing idea of how you want to respond to negative situations can also help you in the tough moments.
1-2. Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a key component of optimism because it encourages you to focus on acknowledging your emotions in the moment without judging them. Often, negative reactions arise when we try to struggle against our feelings, or when we allow ourselves to become so blinded by our emotions that we forget that we can control how we respond to them. Focusing on your breathing, accepting your body and your feelings, and learning from your emotions rather than denying them can help you become comfortable with yourself, which is important when those negative emotions arise.
Mindfulness meditation has been shown by many studies to help with feelings of anxiety and depression. It can actually reprogram the way your body responds to stress.
Look for mindfulness meditation classes in your community. You can also find guided meditations online, such as at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center or BuddhaNet. (And of course, there are several great tutorials on Wikihow.)
You don’t have to commit a huge amount of time to meditation to see its effects. Just a few minutes a day can help you become more aware and accepting of your emotions.
1-3. Identify whether your inner monologue is an optimist or a pessimist.
Our inner monologue is a great indicator of whether we naturally take a positive or negative outlook on life. Pay attention to your inner monologue over the course of a day and see if any of the following forms of negative self-talk (that is, your inner monologue) are appearing regularly:
It can help to keep a "thought log" throughout the day. Write down any negative thoughts you have, then come up with something more positive you can focus on instead.
Magnifying the negative aspects of a situation and filtering out all of the positive ones.
Automatically blaming yourself for any negative situation or event.
Anticipating the worst in any given situation. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
You see things only as good or bad (also known as polarization). In your eyes, there is no middle ground.
1-4. Look for the positives in your life.
It’s important to re-orient your inner monologue to focus on the positive aspects of both you as an individual and the world around you. Although positive thinking is only one of the steps towards becoming a true optimist, the effects of positive thinking for both your body and mind can be significant, such as:
Increased life span
Lower rates of depression
Lower levels of distress
Improved immune system
Better psychological and physical well-being
Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress
1-5. Remember that true optimism is different from blind optimism.
Blind optimism occurs when an individual believes that nothing bad can happen. This can lead overconfidence and naivety, and it can lead to disappointment or even danger. True optimism doesn’t just ignore challenges or pretend that negative feelings and experiences don’t exist. It acknowledges those challenges and then says, “I can work through those!”
For example, deciding to go skydiving without ever taking a lesson or reading up on the subject because “it’ll all work out” is an example of blind (and dangerous!) optimism. It isn’t realistic, and it doesn’t acknowledge that you have to work to overcome obstacles. A decision like this could put you in real danger.
A true optimist would look at skydiving and recognize that it’s a complex sport that requires a lot of training and safety precautions. Rather than getting discouraged by the amount of work required, an optimist would set a goal (“learn to skydive”) and then begin working toward it, confident that s/he can achieve it.
1-6. Write yourself daily positive affirmations.
Writing down short statements can help us believe in the potential of an action we want to accomplish. Jot down a few affirmations that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer, and even taped to your shower wall. Examples of positive affirmations can be:
"Anything is possible."
"My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances."
"The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life."
"I always have a choice."
1-7. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
It's easy to be envious, but this can often lead to purely negative thinking ("They have more money than I do.", "She runs faster than I do."). Remember, there's always someone who has it worse. Avoid negative comparisons with others, focusing instead on the positive. Studies suggest that complaining about one's problems may be linked to depression and anxiety.
Practicing gratitude in your daily life can be a great way to get out of the cycle of negative comparisons.Write letters thanking the people in your life or tell them in person. A focus on these positive elements in your life can dramatically increase your mood and feelings of well-being.
Say "thank you" silently to yourself as soon as you wake up in the morning. While you don't have to have anything to be grateful for, repeating this mantra will put you in a positive mindset.
Consider keeping a gratitude journal. Research has found that men and women who wrote a few lines each week about things that had occurred recently that made them feel grateful tended to feel more optimistic and better about their lives overall.
1-8. Work on improving your perspective in 1 or 2 areas of your life.
Pessimism often stems from feelings of helplessness or lack of control. Identify one or two key aspects that you’d like to change in your life and work on improving them. This will help restore your faith in your own power and ability to effect change in your daily life.
See yourself as a cause, not an effect. Optimists are known for their tendency to believe that negative events or experiences can be overcome by their own effort and abilities.
Start small. Don’t feel you have to take on everything at once.
Positive thinking can lead to positive results. In one study, training male basketball players to attribute positive results—for example, making a free throw—to their ability and negative results to their lack of effort was found to significantly improve their subsequent performance.
1-9. Smile as often as you can.
Studies have shown that putting a cheerful smile on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future.
In one study, subjects who were asked to hold a pen in their mouth (causing them to make the facial muscle movements characteristic of a smile) rated cartoons to be funnier than other subjects did, even though they were unaware that it was only the smile that was boosting their reaction. Consciously changing the facial muscles to reflect a positive emotion sends a similar message to your brain, elevating your mood.
2. Increasing Your Optimism Stores
2-1. Realize how you are connected with the world around you.
Optimism isn’t something that simply originates inside your own brain and emanates outward; it grows between you and the world in which you live. Learn to recognize those aspects of your environment that you aren’t happy with and invest your time and energy into changing them.
Work toward changing the world for the better in concrete ways, one interaction at a time. This could take the form of joining a social justice movement or political cause that is important to you.
Remember, however, that there is a wealth of diverse cultures in the world, of which yours is only one. Don’t get caught up in the idea that your culture or way of doing things is superior or the only way. Embracing the diversity in the world and working to help others on their own terms can teach you to see beauty and positivity in many things.
On a micro scale, even rearranging concrete things like your furniture can help break up old, unhelpful patterns of behavior and allow you to form new ones. Studies have shown that breaking a habit is easier if you change up your routines, because this activates new areas of your brain.
This goes hand in hand with learning to accept and work with a broad range of emotions, as it’s impossible to experiment with what you never have to encounter. Instead of trying to micro-manage your emotions by living out the same habits every day, experiment with each interaction and try to find ways to improve things about the environment you share with others.
Build goals and expectations for the future from your concrete interactions with other people and the environment. In doing so, you can avoid creating unrealistic expectations for yourselves and others.
2-2. Try thinking about what your life would be like without the positives.
This exercise comes from researchers at Berkeley, who recommend that you take 15 minutes once every week to practice. Thinking about how your life would be different without something you love or are grateful for can help you cultivate optimism by countering the natural tendency to assume the good things in life are “givens.” Remembering that we are lucky for every positive thing that has occurred, and that those things were not inevitable, can foster an attitude of grateful positivity.
Start by focusing on a single positive event in your life, such as an achievement, a trip, or anything that’s meaningful to you.
Remember the event, and think about the circumstances that allowed it to happen.
Consider the ways in which those circumstances might have been different. For example, you might not have learned the language that led you to take that trip, or you might not have read the paper the day you found the announcement of the job you now love.
Write down all of the possible events and decisions that might have gone differently and kept this positive event from occurring.
Imagine what your life would be like if this event had not happened. Imagine what you would be missing if you did not have all the other positive things that have been created by that event.
Come back to remembering that the event did happen. Reflect on the positives it’s brought to your life. Voice gratitude that these things, that did not have to happen, worked out to bring you this joyful experience.
2-3. Find the silver linings.
It’s the natural human tendency to focus on what goes wrong in our lives rather than what has gone right. Counter this tendency by examining a negative event and finding the “bright side.” Research has shown this ability to be a key component of optimism, and it also helps with stress, depression, and your relationships with others. Try it for ten minutes a day for three weeks, and you’ll be surprised how much more optimistic you’ve become.
Start by listing 5 things that make you feel like your life is good in some way today.
Then, think about a time when something did not go as expected, or caused you pain or frustration. Briefly write down what that situation was.
Look for 3 things about that situation that may help you see the “silver lining.”
For example, you might have had car trouble that made you late for work because you had to catch the bus. That isn’t a pleasant situation, but you might consider the following as potential bright sides:
You met new people on the bus that you don’t normally interact with
You were able to catch the bus, which is much cheaper than having to take a taxi to work
Your car is fixable
Even if they’re small things, make sure to find at least 3. This will help you become practiced in changing your interpretation and response to events.
2-4. Spend time on activities that make you smile or laugh.
Give yourself permission to laugh. The world is full of humor: immerse yourself in it! Watch TV comedies, attend a stand-up comedy routine, buy a joke book. Everyone has a different sense of humor, but focus on finding things that make you laugh. Go out of your way to make yourself smile at least once a day. Remember, laughter is a natural stress reliever.
2-5. Adopt a healthy lifestyle.
Optimism and positive thinking have been closely connected to exercise and physical well-being. In fact, exercise has been shown to be a natural mood enhancer, helped by the endorphins produced when you engage in physical activity.
Engage in some kind of physical activity at least three times a week. Physical activity doesn't have to be a workout at the gym. Go for a walk with your dog. Use the stairs at work instead of the elevator. Any amount of physical movement can help to improve your mood.
Limit mood-altering substances, such as drugs or alcohol. Studies have found significant links between pessimism and the abuse of drugs and/or alcohol.
2-6. Surround yourself with friends and family who lighten your mood.
For example, play dress up with your kids or go to a concert with your sister. Spending time with other people can often be a great way of lessening isolation and loneliness, which can produce feelings of pessimism or skepticism.
Make sure those in your life are positive and supportive people. Not everyone you encounter in life will have the same orientation and expectations for life as you, and that’s entirely okay. However, if you find that another person’s attitudes and behaviors negatively affect your own, consider detaching yourself from that person. Humans are extremely susceptible to “emotional contagion,” in which the feelings and attitudes of those around us affect how we feel ourselves. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
Don’t be afraid to experiment with your relationships. You never know whether someone, even if s/he is very different from you, may bring something valuable to your life. Consider the process a kind of chemistry. It’s important to find the right combination of people in order to cultivate an optimistic outlook towards the future.
A change of mood doesn’t mean a change of personality. Being an optimist is not the same as being an extrovert. You don't have to be an extrovert to be an optimist. In fact, trying to be someone you’re not could leave you feeling depleted and sad, not optimistic.
2-7. Be positive in your actions toward others.
Optimism is infectious. Showing positivity and compassion in your interaction with others not only benefits you, it can create a “ripple effect” where others are encouraged to be positive towards even more people. This is why charity work or volunteer activities have long been associated as a significant factor in mood improvement. Whether it’s buying a stranger a cup of coffee or serving earthquake victims in another country, positivity in your actions toward others pays off in increased optimism.
Charity work has been cited as a natural boost for self-confidence and self-esteem, which may help battle feelings of pessimism or helplessness.
Serving or giving to others can also make you feel good about your contribution to the world. This is especially true if you can make your contributions in person, rather than anonymously or online.
Volunteering can help you make new friends and contacts, surrounding you with a positive community that can boost optimism.
Smiling at strangers is a cultural behavior. For example, American culture generally considers it as friendly, but Russian culture views it with suspicion. Feel free to smile at others in public, but be aware that they may have different traditions than you do, and don’t get offended if they don’t return the gesture (or even seem disturbed by it).
2-8. Realize that optimism is a cycle.
The more you engage in positive thinking and action, the easier it will be to maintain the trend of optimism in your daily life.
Tips
Try to remember that validation can come from within. You don't necessarily need accomplishments or praise to prove your self-worth.[56]
X
Expert Source
Sandra PossingLife Coach
Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
Everyone has times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but remember past feelings of optimism and remind yourself that positive feelings are in reach. Remember: you are not alone. Reach out to your support networks for help in getting back to positive thinking.
Smile and look at the mirror. According to facial recognition theory, this can help you to remain happy and maintain a positive flow of thoughts.
Warnings
Don't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can be a serious medical condition and it is important to consult trained professionals if you think your negative outlook may be a sign of this condition.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Learning to Embrace Your Emotions\\n1-1. Recognize the good and bad in your life and examine how you’ve been affected by each.\\nOptimism doesn’t mean you have to feel “happy” all the time. In fact, trying to force feelings of happiness during potentially traumatic experiences can be unhealthy. Instead, attune yourself to the full range of emotions in your life, accepting that the negative as well as positive feelings are a natural part of human experience. Trying to repress a certain type of emotion can cause severe emotional distress. Not focusing more on one type of emotion than the other can actually help you become more adaptive and proactive in future unexpected situations. This will increase your ability to be optimistic and resilient in the face of uncertainty.\\nNegative feelings can become a conditioned habit over time. Avoid blaming yourself for negative emotions and associations. Blame is unhelpful because it doesn’t look forward to how you can grow; it looks backward at what has already happened.\\nInstead, focus on being mindful of when these negative emotions occur. A journal could help you do this. Write down when you experience negative feelings or thoughts, then examine their contexts and explore alternative ways of responding to them.\\nFor example, imagine that someone cuts you off in traffic. You respond by feeling angry, honking your horn, and perhaps yelling at the driver even though s/he can’t hear you. You could write in your journal what happened, how it made you feel, and what your immediate response was. Don’t judge yourself as “right” or “wrong,” just write down what happened.\\nNext, take a step back and think about what you’ve written. Was your response in accordance with your values and the type of person you want to be? If not, what could you have done differently? What do you think you were really responding to? For example, perhaps you weren’t really angry at the driver; maybe you had a stressful day and allowed your stress to explode on that one person.\\nLook forward when you write these entries. Don’t use them just as a place to wallow in negative feelings. Think about what you can learn from the experience. What can you use to grow as a person? Can you use this experience to inform other experiences? If you encounter a similar situation next time, how might you respond in a way that is in line with your values? For example, perhaps realizing that you responded with anger because of your stressful day could help you realize that everyone makes mistakes and encourage you to feel more empathetic with other people the next time someone shows anger toward you. Having a pre-existing idea of how you want to respond to negative situations can also help you in the tough moments.\\n1-2. Practice mindfulness.\\nMindfulness is a key component of optimism because it encourages you to focus on acknowledging your emotions in the moment without judging them. Often, negative reactions arise when we try to struggle against our feelings, or when we allow ourselves to become so blinded by our emotions that we forget that we can control how we respond to them. Focusing on your breathing, accepting your body and your feelings, and learning from your emotions rather than denying them can help you become comfortable with yourself, which is important when those negative emotions arise.\\n\\n Mindfulness meditation has been shown by many studies to help with feelings of anxiety and depression. It can actually reprogram the way your body responds to stress.\\nLook for mindfulness meditation classes in your community. You can also find guided meditations online, such as at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center or BuddhaNet. (And of course, there are several great tutorials on Wikihow.)\\nYou don’t have to commit a huge amount of time to meditation to see its effects. Just a few minutes a day can help you become more aware and accepting of your emotions.\\n1-3. Identify whether your inner monologue is an optimist or a pessimist.\\nOur inner monologue is a great indicator of whether we naturally take a positive or negative outlook on life. Pay attention to your inner monologue over the course of a day and see if any of the following forms of negative self-talk (that is, your inner monologue) are appearing regularly: \\nIt can help to keep a \\\"thought log\\\" throughout the day. Write down any negative thoughts you have, then come up with something more positive you can focus on instead.\\nMagnifying the negative aspects of a situation and filtering out all of the positive ones.\\nAutomatically blaming yourself for any negative situation or event.\\nAnticipating the worst in any given situation. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster. \\nYou see things only as good or bad (also known as polarization). In your eyes, there is no middle ground.\\n1-4. Look for the positives in your life.\\nIt’s important to re-orient your inner monologue to focus on the positive aspects of both you as an individual and the world around you. Although positive thinking is only one of the steps towards becoming a true optimist, the effects of positive thinking for both your body and mind can be significant, such as: \\nIncreased life span\\nLower rates of depression\\nLower levels of distress\\nImproved immune system\\nBetter psychological and physical well-being\\nReduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease\\nBetter coping skills during hardships and times of stress\\n1-5. Remember that true optimism is different from blind optimism.\\nBlind optimism occurs when an individual believes that nothing bad can happen. This can lead overconfidence and naivety, and it can lead to disappointment or even danger. True optimism doesn’t just ignore challenges or pretend that negative feelings and experiences don’t exist. It acknowledges those challenges and then says, “I can work through those!”\\nFor example, deciding to go skydiving without ever taking a lesson or reading up on the subject because “it’ll all work out” is an example of blind (and dangerous!) optimism. It isn’t realistic, and it doesn’t acknowledge that you have to work to overcome obstacles. A decision like this could put you in real danger.\\nA true optimist would look at skydiving and recognize that it’s a complex sport that requires a lot of training and safety precautions. Rather than getting discouraged by the amount of work required, an optimist would set a goal (“learn to skydive”) and then begin working toward it, confident that s/he can achieve it.\\n1-6. Write yourself daily positive affirmations.\\nWriting down short statements can help us believe in the potential of an action we want to accomplish. Jot down a few affirmations that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer, and even taped to your shower wall. Examples of positive affirmations can be:\\n\\\"Anything is possible.\\\"\\n\\\"My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances.\\\"\\n\\\"The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life.\\\"\\n\\\"I always have a choice.\\\"\\n1-7. Avoid comparing yourself to others.\\nIt's easy to be envious, but this can often lead to purely negative thinking (\\\"They have more money than I do.\\\", \\\"She runs faster than I do.\\\"). Remember, there's always someone who has it worse. Avoid negative comparisons with others, focusing instead on the positive. Studies suggest that complaining about one's problems may be linked to depression and anxiety.\\nPracticing gratitude in your daily life can be a great way to get out of the cycle of negative comparisons.Write letters thanking the people in your life or tell them in person. A focus on these positive elements in your life can dramatically increase your mood and feelings of well-being.\\nSay \\\"thank you\\\" silently to yourself as soon as you wake up in the morning. While you don't have to have anything to be grateful for, repeating this mantra will put you in a positive mindset.\\nConsider keeping a gratitude journal. Research has found that men and women who wrote a few lines each week about things that had occurred recently that made them feel grateful tended to feel more optimistic and better about their lives overall.\\n1-8. Work on improving your perspective in 1 or 2 areas of your life.\\nPessimism often stems from feelings of helplessness or lack of control. Identify one or two key aspects that you’d like to change in your life and work on improving them. This will help restore your faith in your own power and ability to effect change in your daily life.\\nSee yourself as a cause, not an effect. Optimists are known for their tendency to believe that negative events or experiences can be overcome by their own effort and abilities.\\nStart small. Don’t feel you have to take on everything at once.\\nPositive thinking can lead to positive results. In one study, training male basketball players to attribute positive results—for example, making a free throw—to their ability and negative results to their lack of effort was found to significantly improve their subsequent performance.\\n1-9. Smile as often as you can.\\nStudies have shown that putting a cheerful smile on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future.\\nIn one study, subjects who were asked to hold a pen in their mouth (causing them to make the facial muscle movements characteristic of a smile) rated cartoons to be funnier than other subjects did, even though they were unaware that it was only the smile that was boosting their reaction. Consciously changing the facial muscles to reflect a positive emotion sends a similar message to your brain, elevating your mood.\\n2. Increasing Your Optimism Stores\\n2-1. Realize how you are connected with the world around you.\\nOptimism isn’t something that simply originates inside your own brain and emanates outward; it grows between you and the world in which you live. Learn to recognize those aspects of your environment that you aren’t happy with and invest your time and energy into changing them.\\nWork toward changing the world for the better in concrete ways, one interaction at a time. This could take the form of joining a social justice movement or political cause that is important to you.\\nRemember, however, that there is a wealth of diverse cultures in the world, of which yours is only one. Don’t get caught up in the idea that your culture or way of doing things is superior or the only way. Embracing the diversity in the world and working to help others on their own terms can teach you to see beauty and positivity in many things.\\nOn a micro scale, even rearranging concrete things like your furniture can help break up old, unhelpful patterns of behavior and allow you to form new ones. Studies have shown that breaking a habit is easier if you change up your routines, because this activates new areas of your brain.\\nThis goes hand in hand with learning to accept and work with a broad range of emotions, as it’s impossible to experiment with what you never have to encounter. Instead of trying to micro-manage your emotions by living out the same habits every day, experiment with each interaction and try to find ways to improve things about the environment you share with others.\\nBuild goals and expectations for the future from your concrete interactions with other people and the environment. In doing so, you can avoid creating unrealistic expectations for yourselves and others.\\n2-2. Try thinking about what your life would be like without the positives.\\nThis exercise comes from researchers at Berkeley, who recommend that you take 15 minutes once every week to practice. Thinking about how your life would be different without something you love or are grateful for can help you cultivate optimism by countering the natural tendency to assume the good things in life are “givens.” Remembering that we are lucky for every positive thing that has occurred, and that those things were not inevitable, can foster an attitude of grateful positivity.\\nStart by focusing on a single positive event in your life, such as an achievement, a trip, or anything that’s meaningful to you.\\nRemember the event, and think about the circumstances that allowed it to happen.\\nConsider the ways in which those circumstances might have been different. For example, you might not have learned the language that led you to take that trip, or you might not have read the paper the day you found the announcement of the job you now love.\\nWrite down all of the possible events and decisions that might have gone differently and kept this positive event from occurring.\\nImagine what your life would be like if this event had not happened. Imagine what you would be missing if you did not have all the other positive things that have been created by that event.\\nCome back to remembering that the event did happen. Reflect on the positives it’s brought to your life. Voice gratitude that these things, that did not have to happen, worked out to bring you this joyful experience.\\n2-3. Find the silver linings.\\nIt’s the natural human tendency to focus on what goes wrong in our lives rather than what has gone right. Counter this tendency by examining a negative event and finding the “bright side.” Research has shown this ability to be a key component of optimism, and it also helps with stress, depression, and your relationships with others. Try it for ten minutes a day for three weeks, and you’ll be surprised how much more optimistic you’ve become.\\nStart by listing 5 things that make you feel like your life is good in some way today.\\nThen, think about a time when something did not go as expected, or caused you pain or frustration. Briefly write down what that situation was.\\nLook for 3 things about that situation that may help you see the “silver lining.”\\nFor example, you might have had car trouble that made you late for work because you had to catch the bus. That isn’t a pleasant situation, but you might consider the following as potential bright sides:\\nYou met new people on the bus that you don’t normally interact with\\nYou were able to catch the bus, which is much cheaper than having to take a taxi to work\\nYour car is fixable\\n\\nEven if they’re small things, make sure to find at least 3. This will help you become practiced in changing your interpretation and response to events.\\n2-4. Spend time on activities that make you smile or laugh.\\nGive yourself permission to laugh. The world is full of humor: immerse yourself in it! Watch TV comedies, attend a stand-up comedy routine, buy a joke book. Everyone has a different sense of humor, but focus on finding things that make you laugh. Go out of your way to make yourself smile at least once a day. Remember, laughter is a natural stress reliever.\\n2-5. Adopt a healthy lifestyle.\\nOptimism and positive thinking have been closely connected to exercise and physical well-being. In fact, exercise has been shown to be a natural mood enhancer, helped by the endorphins produced when you engage in physical activity.\\nEngage in some kind of physical activity at least three times a week. Physical activity doesn't have to be a workout at the gym. Go for a walk with your dog. Use the stairs at work instead of the elevator. Any amount of physical movement can help to improve your mood.\\nLimit mood-altering substances, such as drugs or alcohol. Studies have found significant links between pessimism and the abuse of drugs and/or alcohol.\\n2-6. Surround yourself with friends and family who lighten your mood.\\nFor example, play dress up with your kids or go to a concert with your sister. Spending time with other people can often be a great way of lessening isolation and loneliness, which can produce feelings of pessimism or skepticism.\\nMake sure those in your life are positive and supportive people. Not everyone you encounter in life will have the same orientation and expectations for life as you, and that’s entirely okay. However, if you find that another person’s attitudes and behaviors negatively affect your own, consider detaching yourself from that person. Humans are extremely susceptible to “emotional contagion,” in which the feelings and attitudes of those around us affect how we feel ourselves. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways. \\nDon’t be afraid to experiment with your relationships. You never know whether someone, even if s/he is very different from you, may bring something valuable to your life. Consider the process a kind of chemistry. It’s important to find the right combination of people in order to cultivate an optimistic outlook towards the future.\\nA change of mood doesn’t mean a change of personality. Being an optimist is not the same as being an extrovert. You don't have to be an extrovert to be an optimist. In fact, trying to be someone you’re not could leave you feeling depleted and sad, not optimistic.\\n2-7. Be positive in your actions toward others.\\nOptimism is infectious. Showing positivity and compassion in your interaction with others not only benefits you, it can create a “ripple effect” where others are encouraged to be positive towards even more people. This is why charity work or volunteer activities have long been associated as a significant factor in mood improvement. Whether it’s buying a stranger a cup of coffee or serving earthquake victims in another country, positivity in your actions toward others pays off in increased optimism.\\nCharity work has been cited as a natural boost for self-confidence and self-esteem, which may help battle feelings of pessimism or helplessness.\\nServing or giving to others can also make you feel good about your contribution to the world. This is especially true if you can make your contributions in person, rather than anonymously or online.\\nVolunteering can help you make new friends and contacts, surrounding you with a positive community that can boost optimism.\\nSmiling at strangers is a cultural behavior. For example, American culture generally considers it as friendly, but Russian culture views it with suspicion. Feel free to smile at others in public, but be aware that they may have different traditions than you do, and don’t get offended if they don’t return the gesture (or even seem disturbed by it).\\n2-8. Realize that optimism is a cycle.\\nThe more you engage in positive thinking and action, the easier it will be to maintain the trend of optimism in your daily life.\\nTips\\nTry to remember that validation can come from within. You don't necessarily need accomplishments or praise to prove your self-worth.[56]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSandra PossingLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 15 July 2020.\\nEveryone has times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but remember past feelings of optimism and remind yourself that positive feelings are in reach. Remember: you are not alone. Reach out to your support networks for help in getting back to positive thinking.\\nSmile and look at the mirror. According to facial recognition theory, this can help you to remain happy and maintain a positive flow of thoughts.\\nWarnings\\nDon't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can be a serious medical condition and it is important to consult trained professionals if you think your negative outlook may be a sign of this condition.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this question may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health..Every life has its ups and downs, but having an optimistic outlook on life has been found to have a significant positive effect on quality of life, such as one’s mental and physical well-being. Optimism is also considered a key component in managing stress. Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring the hard or challenging things in life, but it does mean changing how you approach them. If you've always had a pessimistic worldview it can be difficult to re-orient your perspective, but it is possible to highlight the positive in your life with a little patience and mindfulness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning to Embrace Your Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize the good and bad in your life and examine how you’ve been affected by each.\", \"描述\": \"Optimism doesn’t mean you have to feel “happy” all the time. In fact, trying to force feelings of happiness during potentially traumatic experiences can be unhealthy. Instead, attune yourself to the full range of emotions in your life, accepting that the negative as well as positive feelings are a natural part of human experience. Trying to repress a certain type of emotion can cause severe emotional distress. Not focusing more on one type of emotion than the other can actually help you become more adaptive and proactive in future unexpected situations. This will increase your ability to be optimistic and resilient in the face of uncertainty.\\nNegative feelings can become a conditioned habit over time. Avoid blaming yourself for negative emotions and associations. Blame is unhelpful because it doesn’t look forward to how you can grow; it looks backward at what has already happened.\\nInstead, focus on being mindful of when these negative emotions occur. A journal could help you do this. Write down when you experience negative feelings or thoughts, then examine their contexts and explore alternative ways of responding to them.\\nFor example, imagine that someone cuts you off in traffic. You respond by feeling angry, honking your horn, and perhaps yelling at the driver even though s/he can’t hear you. You could write in your journal what happened, how it made you feel, and what your immediate response was. Don’t judge yourself as “right” or “wrong,” just write down what happened.\\nNext, take a step back and think about what you’ve written. Was your response in accordance with your values and the type of person you want to be? If not, what could you have done differently? What do you think you were really responding to? For example, perhaps you weren’t really angry at the driver; maybe you had a stressful day and allowed your stress to explode on that one person.\\nLook forward when you write these entries. Don’t use them just as a place to wallow in negative feelings. Think about what you can learn from the experience. What can you use to grow as a person? Can you use this experience to inform other experiences? If you encounter a similar situation next time, how might you respond in a way that is in line with your values? For example, perhaps realizing that you responded with anger because of your stressful day could help you realize that everyone makes mistakes and encourage you to feel more empathetic with other people the next time someone shows anger toward you. Having a pre-existing idea of how you want to respond to negative situations can also help you in the tough moments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Mindfulness is a key component of optimism because it encourages you to focus on acknowledging your emotions in the moment without judging them. Often, negative reactions arise when we try to struggle against our feelings, or when we allow ourselves to become so blinded by our emotions that we forget that we can control how we respond to them. Focusing on your breathing, accepting your body and your feelings, and learning from your emotions rather than denying them can help you become comfortable with yourself, which is important when those negative emotions arise.\\n\\n Mindfulness meditation has been shown by many studies to help with feelings of anxiety and depression. It can actually reprogram the way your body responds to stress.\\nLook for mindfulness meditation classes in your community. You can also find guided meditations online, such as at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center or BuddhaNet. (And of course, there are several great tutorials on Wikihow.)\\nYou don’t have to commit a huge amount of time to meditation to see its effects. Just a few minutes a day can help you become more aware and accepting of your emotions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify whether your inner monologue is an optimist or a pessimist.\", \"描述\": \"Our inner monologue is a great indicator of whether we naturally take a positive or negative outlook on life. Pay attention to your inner monologue over the course of a day and see if any of the following forms of negative self-talk (that is, your inner monologue) are appearing regularly: \\nIt can help to keep a \\\"thought log\\\" throughout the day. Write down any negative thoughts you have, then come up with something more positive you can focus on instead.\\nMagnifying the negative aspects of a situation and filtering out all of the positive ones.\\nAutomatically blaming yourself for any negative situation or event.\\nAnticipating the worst in any given situation. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster. \\nYou see things only as good or bad (also known as polarization). In your eyes, there is no middle ground.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for the positives in your life.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to re-orient your inner monologue to focus on the positive aspects of both you as an individual and the world around you. Although positive thinking is only one of the steps towards becoming a true optimist, the effects of positive thinking for both your body and mind can be significant, such as: \\nIncreased life span\\nLower rates of depression\\nLower levels of distress\\nImproved immune system\\nBetter psychological and physical well-being\\nReduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease\\nBetter coping skills during hardships and times of stress\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remember that true optimism is different from blind optimism.\", \"描述\": \"Blind optimism occurs when an individual believes that nothing bad can happen. This can lead overconfidence and naivety, and it can lead to disappointment or even danger. True optimism doesn’t just ignore challenges or pretend that negative feelings and experiences don’t exist. It acknowledges those challenges and then says, “I can work through those!”\\nFor example, deciding to go skydiving without ever taking a lesson or reading up on the subject because “it’ll all work out” is an example of blind (and dangerous!) optimism. It isn’t realistic, and it doesn’t acknowledge that you have to work to overcome obstacles. A decision like this could put you in real danger.\\nA true optimist would look at skydiving and recognize that it’s a complex sport that requires a lot of training and safety precautions. Rather than getting discouraged by the amount of work required, an optimist would set a goal (“learn to skydive”) and then begin working toward it, confident that s/he can achieve it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write yourself daily positive affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"Writing down short statements can help us believe in the potential of an action we want to accomplish. Jot down a few affirmations that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer, and even taped to your shower wall. Examples of positive affirmations can be:\\n\\\"Anything is possible.\\\"\\n\\\"My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances.\\\"\\n\\\"The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life.\\\"\\n\\\"I always have a choice.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparing yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to be envious, but this can often lead to purely negative thinking (\\\"They have more money than I do.\\\", \\\"She runs faster than I do.\\\"). Remember, there's always someone who has it worse. Avoid negative comparisons with others, focusing instead on the positive. Studies suggest that complaining about one's problems may be linked to depression and anxiety.\\nPracticing gratitude in your daily life can be a great way to get out of the cycle of negative comparisons.Write letters thanking the people in your life or tell them in person. A focus on these positive elements in your life can dramatically increase your mood and feelings of well-being.\\nSay \\\"thank you\\\" silently to yourself as soon as you wake up in the morning. While you don't have to have anything to be grateful for, repeating this mantra will put you in a positive mindset.\\nConsider keeping a gratitude journal. Research has found that men and women who wrote a few lines each week about things that had occurred recently that made them feel grateful tended to feel more optimistic and better about their lives overall.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Work on improving your perspective in 1 or 2 areas of your life.\", \"描述\": \"Pessimism often stems from feelings of helplessness or lack of control. Identify one or two key aspects that you’d like to change in your life and work on improving them. This will help restore your faith in your own power and ability to effect change in your daily life.\\nSee yourself as a cause, not an effect. Optimists are known for their tendency to believe that negative events or experiences can be overcome by their own effort and abilities.\\nStart small. Don’t feel you have to take on everything at once.\\nPositive thinking can lead to positive results. In one study, training male basketball players to attribute positive results—for example, making a free throw—to their ability and negative results to their lack of effort was found to significantly improve their subsequent performance.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Smile as often as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that putting a cheerful smile on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future.\\nIn one study, subjects who were asked to hold a pen in their mouth (causing them to make the facial muscle movements characteristic of a smile) rated cartoons to be funnier than other subjects did, even though they were unaware that it was only the smile that was boosting their reaction. Consciously changing the facial muscles to reflect a positive emotion sends a similar message to your brain, elevating your mood.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Increasing Your Optimism Stores\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize how you are connected with the world around you.\", \"描述\": \"Optimism isn’t something that simply originates inside your own brain and emanates outward; it grows between you and the world in which you live. Learn to recognize those aspects of your environment that you aren’t happy with and invest your time and energy into changing them.\\nWork toward changing the world for the better in concrete ways, one interaction at a time. This could take the form of joining a social justice movement or political cause that is important to you.\\nRemember, however, that there is a wealth of diverse cultures in the world, of which yours is only one. Don’t get caught up in the idea that your culture or way of doing things is superior or the only way. Embracing the diversity in the world and working to help others on their own terms can teach you to see beauty and positivity in many things.\\nOn a micro scale, even rearranging concrete things like your furniture can help break up old, unhelpful patterns of behavior and allow you to form new ones. Studies have shown that breaking a habit is easier if you change up your routines, because this activates new areas of your brain.\\nThis goes hand in hand with learning to accept and work with a broad range of emotions, as it’s impossible to experiment with what you never have to encounter. Instead of trying to micro-manage your emotions by living out the same habits every day, experiment with each interaction and try to find ways to improve things about the environment you share with others.\\nBuild goals and expectations for the future from your concrete interactions with other people and the environment. In doing so, you can avoid creating unrealistic expectations for yourselves and others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try thinking about what your life would be like without the positives.\", \"描述\": \"This exercise comes from researchers at Berkeley, who recommend that you take 15 minutes once every week to practice. Thinking about how your life would be different without something you love or are grateful for can help you cultivate optimism by countering the natural tendency to assume the good things in life are “givens.” Remembering that we are lucky for every positive thing that has occurred, and that those things were not inevitable, can foster an attitude of grateful positivity.\\nStart by focusing on a single positive event in your life, such as an achievement, a trip, or anything that’s meaningful to you.\\nRemember the event, and think about the circumstances that allowed it to happen.\\nConsider the ways in which those circumstances might have been different. For example, you might not have learned the language that led you to take that trip, or you might not have read the paper the day you found the announcement of the job you now love.\\nWrite down all of the possible events and decisions that might have gone differently and kept this positive event from occurring.\\nImagine what your life would be like if this event had not happened. Imagine what you would be missing if you did not have all the other positive things that have been created by that event.\\nCome back to remembering that the event did happen. Reflect on the positives it’s brought to your life. Voice gratitude that these things, that did not have to happen, worked out to bring you this joyful experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find the silver linings.\", \"描述\": \"It’s the natural human tendency to focus on what goes wrong in our lives rather than what has gone right. Counter this tendency by examining a negative event and finding the “bright side.” Research has shown this ability to be a key component of optimism, and it also helps with stress, depression, and your relationships with others. Try it for ten minutes a day for three weeks, and you’ll be surprised how much more optimistic you’ve become.\\nStart by listing 5 things that make you feel like your life is good in some way today.\\nThen, think about a time when something did not go as expected, or caused you pain or frustration. Briefly write down what that situation was.\\nLook for 3 things about that situation that may help you see the “silver lining.”\\nFor example, you might have had car trouble that made you late for work because you had to catch the bus. That isn’t a pleasant situation, but you might consider the following as potential bright sides:\\nYou met new people on the bus that you don’t normally interact with\\nYou were able to catch the bus, which is much cheaper than having to take a taxi to work\\nYour car is fixable\\n\\nEven if they’re small things, make sure to find at least 3. This will help you become practiced in changing your interpretation and response to events.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time on activities that make you smile or laugh.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself permission to laugh. The world is full of humor: immerse yourself in it! Watch TV comedies, attend a stand-up comedy routine, buy a joke book. Everyone has a different sense of humor, but focus on finding things that make you laugh. Go out of your way to make yourself smile at least once a day. Remember, laughter is a natural stress reliever.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Adopt a healthy lifestyle.\", \"描述\": \"Optimism and positive thinking have been closely connected to exercise and physical well-being. In fact, exercise has been shown to be a natural mood enhancer, helped by the endorphins produced when you engage in physical activity.\\nEngage in some kind of physical activity at least three times a week. Physical activity doesn't have to be a workout at the gym. Go for a walk with your dog. Use the stairs at work instead of the elevator. Any amount of physical movement can help to improve your mood.\\nLimit mood-altering substances, such as drugs or alcohol. Studies have found significant links between pessimism and the abuse of drugs and/or alcohol.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with friends and family who lighten your mood.\", \"描述\": \"For example, play dress up with your kids or go to a concert with your sister. Spending time with other people can often be a great way of lessening isolation and loneliness, which can produce feelings of pessimism or skepticism.\\nMake sure those in your life are positive and supportive people. Not everyone you encounter in life will have the same orientation and expectations for life as you, and that’s entirely okay. However, if you find that another person’s attitudes and behaviors negatively affect your own, consider detaching yourself from that person. Humans are extremely susceptible to “emotional contagion,” in which the feelings and attitudes of those around us affect how we feel ourselves. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways. \\nDon’t be afraid to experiment with your relationships. You never know whether someone, even if s/he is very different from you, may bring something valuable to your life. Consider the process a kind of chemistry. It’s important to find the right combination of people in order to cultivate an optimistic outlook towards the future.\\nA change of mood doesn’t mean a change of personality. Being an optimist is not the same as being an extrovert. You don't have to be an extrovert to be an optimist. In fact, trying to be someone you’re not could leave you feeling depleted and sad, not optimistic.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be positive in your actions toward others.\", \"描述\": \"Optimism is infectious. Showing positivity and compassion in your interaction with others not only benefits you, it can create a “ripple effect” where others are encouraged to be positive towards even more people. This is why charity work or volunteer activities have long been associated as a significant factor in mood improvement. Whether it’s buying a stranger a cup of coffee or serving earthquake victims in another country, positivity in your actions toward others pays off in increased optimism.\\nCharity work has been cited as a natural boost for self-confidence and self-esteem, which may help battle feelings of pessimism or helplessness.\\nServing or giving to others can also make you feel good about your contribution to the world. This is especially true if you can make your contributions in person, rather than anonymously or online.\\nVolunteering can help you make new friends and contacts, surrounding you with a positive community that can boost optimism.\\nSmiling at strangers is a cultural behavior. For example, American culture generally considers it as friendly, but Russian culture views it with suspicion. Feel free to smile at others in public, but be aware that they may have different traditions than you do, and don’t get offended if they don’t return the gesture (or even seem disturbed by it).\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Realize that optimism is a cycle.\", \"描述\": \"The more you engage in positive thinking and action, the easier it will be to maintain the trend of optimism in your daily life.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to remember that validation can come from within. You don't necessarily need accomplishments or praise to prove your self-worth.[56]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSandra PossingLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 15 July 2020.\\n\", \"Everyone has times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but remember past feelings of optimism and remind yourself that positive feelings are in reach. Remember: you are not alone. Reach out to your support networks for help in getting back to positive thinking.\\n\", \"Smile and look at the mirror. According to facial recognition theory, this can help you to remain happy and maintain a positive flow of thoughts.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can be a serious medical condition and it is important to consult trained professionals if you think your negative outlook may be a sign of this condition.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,009 | How to Be Organized | 1. Organizing Your Time
1-1. Put important dates in a calendar.
Get a calendar and hang it in a spot where you can look at it daily, such as in your kitchen, by your bed, or in your home office. You can also put a calendar on your computer desktop or use the calendar app on your smartphone. Put all essential dates in the calendar, such as due dates, appointments, and meetings. Keep it updated regularly to help you organize your time.
Make it habit to check the calendar daily, such as first thing in the morning or before you go to bed at night.
Color code items in your calendar by priority. For example, you may highlight important dates in red and less important dates in yellow.
If you are using a calendar app on your phone, you can set reminders a few days or a few hours in advance so you don’t forget an important date. You can also use other organizing apps on your phone like 24me, Quip, and Wanderlust.
1-2. Use a day planner
A day planner is another great way to keep your time organized. It will break down the week by day, allowing you to put in appointments or meetings for each day. It is especially useful if you have a lot of commitments throughout the day. Write down all of your commitments by hour in the day planner. Check the planner at the start of your day so you know what you have scheduled and can stay organized.
For example, you may write down a meeting in the morning, a phone call with a client in the afternoon, and a deadline in the evening.
1-3. Keep a to-do list.
To stay organized, make a to-do list. You may have one list for short term things you have to do and one list for long term things you have to do. Write the to-do list on a whiteboard and keep it somewhere you can see it, such as in your kitchen or your bedroom. Cross out items as you complete them so you feel productive and motivated to tackle more items on the list.
If you’d prefer to keep the to-do list on your computer, make a spreadsheet and use it as a to-do list. Keep the spreadsheet on your desktop so you can look at it and cross off items as you complete them.
For example, you may have a list of short term to-do items like complete assignment for tomorrow, clean room, and order supplies for the week. You can then keep a list of long term to-do items like apply for college in 1 month, learn Arabic, and plan a trip.
1-4. Reward yourself for staying organized.
To help motivate you to stay organized, use a rewards system. You may treat yourself to a baked good or lunch at your favorite restaurant when you check an item off your to-do list. Or you may give yourself a 5 minute break and go for a walk if you complete the items in your calendar or day planner early.
You can also reward yourself with fun or relaxing activities, such as playing your favorite video game or watching your favorite show. Only give yourself these rewards when you have completed the necessary tasks for the day.
2. Working in an Organized Way
2-1. Make a daily schedule.
To stay organized while you work, create a daily schedule of tasks. List each task by importance and check them off as you complete them. Put the most important tasks first, followed by the least important. Doing this can help you feel organized on a daily basis, whether you are at work or at school.
For example, you may list tasks like completing an assignment or preparing lunch for your children first. Then, you may schedule in time to read emails or catch up on the news, followed by other tasks in the afternoon and evening.
2-2. Schedule breaks throughout your work day.
Though it is important that you get all of the necessary tasks done, you should also set aside time for short breaks. You may schedule in 5 minute breaks after every few tasks so you can stretch your legs, go for a short walk, or do a few light exercises. You may also use the breaks to get coffee or a snack.
Having breaks will ensure you do not get too worn out or overworked, especially if you have a lot of tasks to complete for the day. If you are really busy, try to schedule at least one break in the day so you are not working too many hours straight.
2-3. Multitask
Another way you can work in a more organized way is to multitask, where you switch between several tasks at once. Multitasking can allow you to get multiple things done within a short period of time. It can also help you be more organized, as you will feel less overwhelmed or stressed about the things you need to get done if you complete them all at once.
For example, you may put the kettle on for your tea and fold towels, send emails, and load the washing machine while the water boils. Or you may set a download on your computer at work and do paperwork or other tasks in the office while you wait for the download to finish.
Just keep in mind that some studies have shown that multitasking may diminish one's ability to focus on one thing at a time.
2-4. Delegate tasks to others, when needed.
If you have a lot to get done, try to delegate tasks to others when you can. You may delegate tasks to workers in your office or to other family members in your home. Delegating tasks can make your day run more efficiently and allow you to stay organized.
For example, you may delegate chores in your home to your children or your family members so you are not the only one cleaning and maintaining the house. Or you may delegate tasks to coworkers who have free time or an hour to spare so you can ensure all your tasks get done for the day.
3. Organizing Your Space
3-1. Organize your bedroom.
To keep your space organized, start by focusing on your bedroom. Go through each item in your bedroom and determine if you can get rid of any items you no longer use or need. Reduce clutter in your bedroom and clean it out so you feel more organized, and keep only items you use in your bedroom.
For example, you may have a bookshelf in your bedroom that is stuffed full of books. Go through your books and put ones you no longer read or need in a box. Try to get rid of any books you honestly do not think you will read again. You can then donate the books in the box to charity so they are out of your room.
3-2. Keep your home office and your desk organized.
If you have a work space in your home, tackle this area and keep it organized. Go through all papers and bills on your desk. Put these items in folders or in a filing cabinet. Get rid of any papers you do not need to keep as hard copies. Put office supplies in drawers or cabinets. Place pens and pencils in a pen holder.
You should also position items that you use often closer to your workspace so they are within reach. For example, if you often use a stapler in your office, keep it in the top drawer of your desk so it’s within reach and you know where it is at all times.
Organize electrical cords in your office by using zip ties to keep cords wrapped. This will prevent them from getting tangled and messy.
3-3. Organize your kitchen.
Your kitchen will likely be one of the most used areas in your home. Keep it organized by going through each item and donating any items you no longer use. Throw away broken kitchen tools or old utensils. Clear out these items and then assess how to organize the items you are keeping.
Place related items together in drawers or cupboards. For example, store all coffee mugs together or all utensils together.
Keep your kitchen counters free of items when possible and only leave out items you use often, such as a large cutting board or a kettle.
Some items need layout or ordering rather than just grouping. Frequently used unique items, like spices, should be kept handy and accessible, such as on a spice rack on the counter.
Perishable items, like food, should be consumed on a first-in, first-out basis. Load stacks of perishable items, such as canned food, starting with the oldest first in a cupboard or a pantry.
3-4. Keep your closet organized.
Another spot that tends to get messy is your closet, especially if you have a lot of clothing. Organize your closet by going through your clothing and getting rid of any items you no longer wear. Often, if you haven’t worn the item in one year, you can get rid of it. Group items of clothing together, such as all jeans on one shelf or all jackets hung in the same spot in your closet.
Rotate items that are within reach in your closet so you wear different items and get the most out of each item.
Keep all shoes together, preferably on a shoe rack or in labeled bins. This way you can view each pair and know exactly what you have in your closet.
If you’re having trouble keeping your closet tidy, get a closet organizer to help you keep your items sorted.
3-5. Clean your space regularly.
To maintain your organization, do regular cleanings of your bedroom, your home office, your desk, your kitchen, and your closet. Designate one day a week as cleaning day and do a good clean of these spots. This will ensure that you reduce any clutter that accumulates in each area of your home. It will also make it easier for you to maintain the system you have in place in each area to keep them organized.
You can also clean each space periodically throughout the week to maintain them. Do a light dusting of your home once a day. Throw out any papers or bills you don’t need right away, rather than let them clutter up your space.
It is good to clean your place every week. If your place becomes untidy very quickly, then you can clean more frequently.
Tips
Organizing your space can help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.[13]
X
Research source
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, taking a few moments to tidy up can help.
Another space that is often in need of organization is your garage.
To reduce feelings of being overwhelmed just relax and find out what is the real problem and write it down instead of thinking or worrying about it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Organizing Your Time\\n1-1. Put important dates in a calendar.\\nGet a calendar and hang it in a spot where you can look at it daily, such as in your kitchen, by your bed, or in your home office. You can also put a calendar on your computer desktop or use the calendar app on your smartphone. Put all essential dates in the calendar, such as due dates, appointments, and meetings. Keep it updated regularly to help you organize your time.\\nMake it habit to check the calendar daily, such as first thing in the morning or before you go to bed at night.\\nColor code items in your calendar by priority. For example, you may highlight important dates in red and less important dates in yellow.\\nIf you are using a calendar app on your phone, you can set reminders a few days or a few hours in advance so you don’t forget an important date. You can also use other organizing apps on your phone like 24me, Quip, and Wanderlust.\\n1-2. Use a day planner\\nA day planner is another great way to keep your time organized. It will break down the week by day, allowing you to put in appointments or meetings for each day. It is especially useful if you have a lot of commitments throughout the day. Write down all of your commitments by hour in the day planner. Check the planner at the start of your day so you know what you have scheduled and can stay organized.\\nFor example, you may write down a meeting in the morning, a phone call with a client in the afternoon, and a deadline in the evening.\\n1-3. Keep a to-do list.\\nTo stay organized, make a to-do list. You may have one list for short term things you have to do and one list for long term things you have to do. Write the to-do list on a whiteboard and keep it somewhere you can see it, such as in your kitchen or your bedroom. Cross out items as you complete them so you feel productive and motivated to tackle more items on the list.\\nIf you’d prefer to keep the to-do list on your computer, make a spreadsheet and use it as a to-do list. Keep the spreadsheet on your desktop so you can look at it and cross off items as you complete them.\\nFor example, you may have a list of short term to-do items like complete assignment for tomorrow, clean room, and order supplies for the week. You can then keep a list of long term to-do items like apply for college in 1 month, learn Arabic, and plan a trip.\\n1-4. Reward yourself for staying organized.\\nTo help motivate you to stay organized, use a rewards system. You may treat yourself to a baked good or lunch at your favorite restaurant when you check an item off your to-do list. Or you may give yourself a 5 minute break and go for a walk if you complete the items in your calendar or day planner early.\\nYou can also reward yourself with fun or relaxing activities, such as playing your favorite video game or watching your favorite show. Only give yourself these rewards when you have completed the necessary tasks for the day.\\n2. Working in an Organized Way\\n2-1. Make a daily schedule.\\nTo stay organized while you work, create a daily schedule of tasks. List each task by importance and check them off as you complete them. Put the most important tasks first, followed by the least important. Doing this can help you feel organized on a daily basis, whether you are at work or at school.\\nFor example, you may list tasks like completing an assignment or preparing lunch for your children first. Then, you may schedule in time to read emails or catch up on the news, followed by other tasks in the afternoon and evening.\\n2-2. Schedule breaks throughout your work day.\\nThough it is important that you get all of the necessary tasks done, you should also set aside time for short breaks. You may schedule in 5 minute breaks after every few tasks so you can stretch your legs, go for a short walk, or do a few light exercises. You may also use the breaks to get coffee or a snack.\\nHaving breaks will ensure you do not get too worn out or overworked, especially if you have a lot of tasks to complete for the day. If you are really busy, try to schedule at least one break in the day so you are not working too many hours straight.\\n2-3. Multitask\\nAnother way you can work in a more organized way is to multitask, where you switch between several tasks at once. Multitasking can allow you to get multiple things done within a short period of time. It can also help you be more organized, as you will feel less overwhelmed or stressed about the things you need to get done if you complete them all at once.\\nFor example, you may put the kettle on for your tea and fold towels, send emails, and load the washing machine while the water boils. Or you may set a download on your computer at work and do paperwork or other tasks in the office while you wait for the download to finish.\\nJust keep in mind that some studies have shown that multitasking may diminish one's ability to focus on one thing at a time.\\n2-4. Delegate tasks to others, when needed.\\nIf you have a lot to get done, try to delegate tasks to others when you can. You may delegate tasks to workers in your office or to other family members in your home. Delegating tasks can make your day run more efficiently and allow you to stay organized.\\nFor example, you may delegate chores in your home to your children or your family members so you are not the only one cleaning and maintaining the house. Or you may delegate tasks to coworkers who have free time or an hour to spare so you can ensure all your tasks get done for the day.\\n3. Organizing Your Space\\n3-1. Organize your bedroom.\\nTo keep your space organized, start by focusing on your bedroom. Go through each item in your bedroom and determine if you can get rid of any items you no longer use or need. Reduce clutter in your bedroom and clean it out so you feel more organized, and keep only items you use in your bedroom.\\nFor example, you may have a bookshelf in your bedroom that is stuffed full of books. Go through your books and put ones you no longer read or need in a box. Try to get rid of any books you honestly do not think you will read again. You can then donate the books in the box to charity so they are out of your room.\\n3-2. Keep your home office and your desk organized.\\nIf you have a work space in your home, tackle this area and keep it organized. Go through all papers and bills on your desk. Put these items in folders or in a filing cabinet. Get rid of any papers you do not need to keep as hard copies. Put office supplies in drawers or cabinets. Place pens and pencils in a pen holder.\\nYou should also position items that you use often closer to your workspace so they are within reach. For example, if you often use a stapler in your office, keep it in the top drawer of your desk so it’s within reach and you know where it is at all times.\\nOrganize electrical cords in your office by using zip ties to keep cords wrapped. This will prevent them from getting tangled and messy.\\n3-3. Organize your kitchen.\\nYour kitchen will likely be one of the most used areas in your home. Keep it organized by going through each item and donating any items you no longer use. Throw away broken kitchen tools or old utensils. Clear out these items and then assess how to organize the items you are keeping.\\nPlace related items together in drawers or cupboards. For example, store all coffee mugs together or all utensils together.\\nKeep your kitchen counters free of items when possible and only leave out items you use often, such as a large cutting board or a kettle.\\nSome items need layout or ordering rather than just grouping. Frequently used unique items, like spices, should be kept handy and accessible, such as on a spice rack on the counter.\\nPerishable items, like food, should be consumed on a first-in, first-out basis. Load stacks of perishable items, such as canned food, starting with the oldest first in a cupboard or a pantry.\\n3-4. Keep your closet organized.\\nAnother spot that tends to get messy is your closet, especially if you have a lot of clothing. Organize your closet by going through your clothing and getting rid of any items you no longer wear. Often, if you haven’t worn the item in one year, you can get rid of it. Group items of clothing together, such as all jeans on one shelf or all jackets hung in the same spot in your closet.\\nRotate items that are within reach in your closet so you wear different items and get the most out of each item.\\nKeep all shoes together, preferably on a shoe rack or in labeled bins. This way you can view each pair and know exactly what you have in your closet.\\nIf you’re having trouble keeping your closet tidy, get a closet organizer to help you keep your items sorted.\\n3-5. Clean your space regularly.\\nTo maintain your organization, do regular cleanings of your bedroom, your home office, your desk, your kitchen, and your closet. Designate one day a week as cleaning day and do a good clean of these spots. This will ensure that you reduce any clutter that accumulates in each area of your home. It will also make it easier for you to maintain the system you have in place in each area to keep them organized.\\nYou can also clean each space periodically throughout the week to maintain them. Do a light dusting of your home once a day. Throw out any papers or bills you don’t need right away, rather than let them clutter up your space.\\nIt is good to clean your place every week. If your place becomes untidy very quickly, then you can clean more frequently.\\nTips\\nOrganizing your space can help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n If you’re feeling overwhelmed, taking a few moments to tidy up can help.\\nAnother space that is often in need of organization is your garage.\\nTo reduce feelings of being overwhelmed just relax and find out what is the real problem and write it down instead of thinking or worrying about it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most people do not like being disorganized. True organization takes time, but when you get the hang of it, life becomes much easier. To be truly organized, you need to organize your space and organize your time, making sure you keep track of all your appointments and commitments. You can also work in an organized way so you are more efficient and get more things done in a shorter period of time. Being organized can reduce stress and anxiety, making you feel in control of your day to day activities.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organizing Your Time\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put important dates in a calendar.\", \"描述\": \"Get a calendar and hang it in a spot where you can look at it daily, such as in your kitchen, by your bed, or in your home office. You can also put a calendar on your computer desktop or use the calendar app on your smartphone. Put all essential dates in the calendar, such as due dates, appointments, and meetings. Keep it updated regularly to help you organize your time.\\nMake it habit to check the calendar daily, such as first thing in the morning or before you go to bed at night.\\nColor code items in your calendar by priority. For example, you may highlight important dates in red and less important dates in yellow.\\nIf you are using a calendar app on your phone, you can set reminders a few days or a few hours in advance so you don’t forget an important date. You can also use other organizing apps on your phone like 24me, Quip, and Wanderlust.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a day planner\", \"描述\": \"A day planner is another great way to keep your time organized. It will break down the week by day, allowing you to put in appointments or meetings for each day. It is especially useful if you have a lot of commitments throughout the day. Write down all of your commitments by hour in the day planner. Check the planner at the start of your day so you know what you have scheduled and can stay organized.\\nFor example, you may write down a meeting in the morning, a phone call with a client in the afternoon, and a deadline in the evening.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep a to-do list.\", \"描述\": \"To stay organized, make a to-do list. You may have one list for short term things you have to do and one list for long term things you have to do. Write the to-do list on a whiteboard and keep it somewhere you can see it, such as in your kitchen or your bedroom. Cross out items as you complete them so you feel productive and motivated to tackle more items on the list.\\nIf you’d prefer to keep the to-do list on your computer, make a spreadsheet and use it as a to-do list. Keep the spreadsheet on your desktop so you can look at it and cross off items as you complete them.\\nFor example, you may have a list of short term to-do items like complete assignment for tomorrow, clean room, and order supplies for the week. You can then keep a list of long term to-do items like apply for college in 1 month, learn Arabic, and plan a trip.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reward yourself for staying organized.\", \"描述\": \"To help motivate you to stay organized, use a rewards system. You may treat yourself to a baked good or lunch at your favorite restaurant when you check an item off your to-do list. Or you may give yourself a 5 minute break and go for a walk if you complete the items in your calendar or day planner early.\\nYou can also reward yourself with fun or relaxing activities, such as playing your favorite video game or watching your favorite show. Only give yourself these rewards when you have completed the necessary tasks for the day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Working in an Organized Way\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a daily schedule.\", \"描述\": \"To stay organized while you work, create a daily schedule of tasks. List each task by importance and check them off as you complete them. Put the most important tasks first, followed by the least important. Doing this can help you feel organized on a daily basis, whether you are at work or at school.\\nFor example, you may list tasks like completing an assignment or preparing lunch for your children first. Then, you may schedule in time to read emails or catch up on the news, followed by other tasks in the afternoon and evening.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Schedule breaks throughout your work day.\", \"描述\": \"Though it is important that you get all of the necessary tasks done, you should also set aside time for short breaks. You may schedule in 5 minute breaks after every few tasks so you can stretch your legs, go for a short walk, or do a few light exercises. You may also use the breaks to get coffee or a snack.\\nHaving breaks will ensure you do not get too worn out or overworked, especially if you have a lot of tasks to complete for the day. If you are really busy, try to schedule at least one break in the day so you are not working too many hours straight.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Multitask\", \"描述\": \"Another way you can work in a more organized way is to multitask, where you switch between several tasks at once. Multitasking can allow you to get multiple things done within a short period of time. It can also help you be more organized, as you will feel less overwhelmed or stressed about the things you need to get done if you complete them all at once.\\nFor example, you may put the kettle on for your tea and fold towels, send emails, and load the washing machine while the water boils. Or you may set a download on your computer at work and do paperwork or other tasks in the office while you wait for the download to finish.\\nJust keep in mind that some studies have shown that multitasking may diminish one's ability to focus on one thing at a time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Delegate tasks to others, when needed.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a lot to get done, try to delegate tasks to others when you can. You may delegate tasks to workers in your office or to other family members in your home. Delegating tasks can make your day run more efficiently and allow you to stay organized.\\nFor example, you may delegate chores in your home to your children or your family members so you are not the only one cleaning and maintaining the house. Or you may delegate tasks to coworkers who have free time or an hour to spare so you can ensure all your tasks get done for the day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Organizing Your Space\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Organize your bedroom.\", \"描述\": \"To keep your space organized, start by focusing on your bedroom. Go through each item in your bedroom and determine if you can get rid of any items you no longer use or need. Reduce clutter in your bedroom and clean it out so you feel more organized, and keep only items you use in your bedroom.\\nFor example, you may have a bookshelf in your bedroom that is stuffed full of books. Go through your books and put ones you no longer read or need in a box. Try to get rid of any books you honestly do not think you will read again. You can then donate the books in the box to charity so they are out of your room.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your home office and your desk organized.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a work space in your home, tackle this area and keep it organized. Go through all papers and bills on your desk. Put these items in folders or in a filing cabinet. Get rid of any papers you do not need to keep as hard copies. Put office supplies in drawers or cabinets. Place pens and pencils in a pen holder.\\nYou should also position items that you use often closer to your workspace so they are within reach. For example, if you often use a stapler in your office, keep it in the top drawer of your desk so it’s within reach and you know where it is at all times.\\nOrganize electrical cords in your office by using zip ties to keep cords wrapped. This will prevent them from getting tangled and messy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Organize your kitchen.\", \"描述\": \"Your kitchen will likely be one of the most used areas in your home. Keep it organized by going through each item and donating any items you no longer use. Throw away broken kitchen tools or old utensils. Clear out these items and then assess how to organize the items you are keeping.\\nPlace related items together in drawers or cupboards. For example, store all coffee mugs together or all utensils together.\\nKeep your kitchen counters free of items when possible and only leave out items you use often, such as a large cutting board or a kettle.\\nSome items need layout or ordering rather than just grouping. Frequently used unique items, like spices, should be kept handy and accessible, such as on a spice rack on the counter.\\nPerishable items, like food, should be consumed on a first-in, first-out basis. Load stacks of perishable items, such as canned food, starting with the oldest first in a cupboard or a pantry.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your closet organized.\", \"描述\": \"Another spot that tends to get messy is your closet, especially if you have a lot of clothing. Organize your closet by going through your clothing and getting rid of any items you no longer wear. Often, if you haven’t worn the item in one year, you can get rid of it. Group items of clothing together, such as all jeans on one shelf or all jackets hung in the same spot in your closet.\\nRotate items that are within reach in your closet so you wear different items and get the most out of each item.\\nKeep all shoes together, preferably on a shoe rack or in labeled bins. This way you can view each pair and know exactly what you have in your closet.\\nIf you’re having trouble keeping your closet tidy, get a closet organizer to help you keep your items sorted.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Clean your space regularly.\", \"描述\": \"To maintain your organization, do regular cleanings of your bedroom, your home office, your desk, your kitchen, and your closet. Designate one day a week as cleaning day and do a good clean of these spots. This will ensure that you reduce any clutter that accumulates in each area of your home. It will also make it easier for you to maintain the system you have in place in each area to keep them organized.\\nYou can also clean each space periodically throughout the week to maintain them. Do a light dusting of your home once a day. Throw out any papers or bills you don’t need right away, rather than let them clutter up your space.\\nIt is good to clean your place every week. If your place becomes untidy very quickly, then you can clean more frequently.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Organizing your space can help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n If you’re feeling overwhelmed, taking a few moments to tidy up can help.\\n\", \"Another space that is often in need of organization is your garage.\\n\", \"To reduce feelings of being overwhelmed just relax and find out what is the real problem and write it down instead of thinking or worrying about it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,010 | How to Be Organized at Home | 1. Decluttering Your Home
1-1. Get rid of anything in your home that you haven’t used in 6 months.
Generally speaking, if you haven’t used something in 6 months, you’re almost definitely never going to use it. Go through all the drawers, cabinets, and closets in your home and toss out anything that you can’t remember using in the past 6 months.
There are obviously some exceptions to this rule. If you have a costume in your closet that you only use at Halloween or decorations you only break out during the holidays, the 6-month rule doesn’t apply to these items.
Mementos and items with strong sentimental value, like things that your children made for you, also don’t fall under this rule. However, if the item only has a weak sentimental value, consider tossing it.
1-2. Throw away expired food or any kitchen items you don’t use.
If there are items you’d like to keep but which you don’t use that often, move them somewhere where they’re not adding to a cluttered kitchen, such as on the top shelf of your pantry. Any items that you own but have never used and just can’t see yourself using, donate them or throw them away.
This sounds harsh, but this is the best way to keep your kitchen organized and free of clutter.
If there are food items that are about to expire, make a plan to use or eat them that day or the next day. If you don’t think you’ll eat them before they expire, throw them away.
1-3. Toss out any clothes that don’t fit you anymore.
If you’re looking to make your home more organized, there’s no reason to keep clothes that you can’t physically wear anymore. Root through all the clothes in your closet and dresser drawers and donate the ones that don’t fit you to charity.
If there are clothes you come across that still fit you but that you haven’t worn in a long time, toss them out as well, unless you strongly feel that you’ll wear them again.
If you have younger siblings that wear the same kinds of clothes as you, consider giving them your old clothes as hand-me-downs.
1-4. Minimize the number of items you keep on the bathroom counter.
Keeping as much open space on your counter as possible will not only make it look tidier, but will also make cleaning and reorganizing the counter in the future much easier. Remove any items that you don’t use on a daily basis and push the remaining items to the back ⅓ of the counter space.
Those items that you take off of the counter can either be stored under the sink or on the backs of the cabinet doors, or simply thrown away if they’re things that you know you won’t use.
Use small, rectangular trays to hold any items that you leave out on the counter and to keep them in an orderly arrangement.
1-5. Consider holding a garage sale and selling the things you don’t need.
This is the best way to turn the clutter in your home into a little bit of pocket cash for yourself. If you come across a lot of items that you don’t use very often and can reasonably live without, sell them to both declutter your home and make money.
This method is best if you declutter your home in the spring or summer; it’ll be a lot harder to get people to come to your garage sale if you hold it during the cold weather months.
2. Getting Your Stuff Organized
2-1. Use hooks and organizers to hang items on walls and doors.
Place over-the-door organizers over the backs of your bathroom door and cabinet doors or install command hooks on your doors and walls. Then, hang items from these surfaces to clear up space in your drawers and cabinets while also utilizing this vertical storage space.
Command hooks work great for storing cloth items like hand towels and washcloths, as well as utensils and accessories that feature hanging loops, such as oven mitts and spatulas.
In the bathroom, store items that you only use once or twice a day on the insides of cabinet doors, such as toothpaste. This way, the rest of your bathroom looks neat and clean for most of the day!
You can also technically use over-the-door organizers on the back of your bathroom door, although the door may be too tall for this method of organization to be terribly useful.
2-2. Place items you use most often in easy-to-reach places.
For example, store items you use every day in the kitchen, like your silverware and coffee mugs, in the most accessible areas of the room to emphasize ease-of-use in your kitchen organization. Do the same thing with key items in your bathroom, such as hand soap and towels.
It will also make your rooms more organized to store similar items together. For instance, place all of your bowls and plates in one cabinet and all of your cups and glasses in another.
2-3. Put cabinet items in easily stacked, see-through containers.
These containers will allow you to use your cabinet space in the most efficient way possible, as well as make finding cabinet items much easier. For best results, opt for square or rectangle containers over circular ones.
If you use these containers in the kitchen, make sure the containers are dishwasher safe so you can clean them before and after you store food items in them.
If the area under your bathroom sink has a lot of empty space, use see-through modular drawers that stack on each other to store bathroom items and add labels to the front of each to describe what they hold.
2-4. Store things under your bed using thin storage containers.
There’s tons of tiny storage space under your bed that is hard to take advantage of without storage bins. Store bed linens and non-essential in these containers, or other items that you only use every once in a while, such as seasonal decor.
Long, thin storage containers are the best to use under the bed since they will stretch all the way to the back of the bed while still being long enough to be easily reached.
If you don’t have thin containers, you can also use cubbies, baskets, or bags, or make your own containers out of repurposed dresser drawers.
2-5. Use drawer organizers to bring order to messy kitchen drawers.
These wooden or plastic drawer inserts are pretty cheap and are very useful for organizing your drawers. Use one organizer for silverware, another for larger utensils, and another for your “junk” drawer.
If you have any items that are too big to fit in these drawer organizers, such as very long spatulas, store them separately in their own drawer or in a jar on the countertop.
If any of these items have hanging loops, see if you can hang them on command hooks on the walls or cabinet doors.
2-6. Have furniture in the living room that maximizes storage space.
For example, put tall shelves with large sections in the living room (or bedroom) so you can place a variety of large and small items on them. You can also opt for a 2-tiered coffee table instead of a traditional table to double its storage space.
For added convenience, keep a collapsible stool behind the shelf or somewhere nearby so you can reach the items on the top shelf.
You can also go with a coffee table with drawers if you want the things you store in it to not be visible all the time.
If you don’t plan to keep anything on top of your coffee table, or don’t plan to use the stuff you store in it all that often, consider going with a lift-top coffee table.
3. Keeping Your Home Clean and Tidy
3-1. Take steps every day to keep the rooms in your home organized.
A big part of organizing your home is keeping it from becoming disorganized in the first place. Make keeping your home organized part of your daily routine in order to maintain a “cleaning flow” and be more organized every day.
For example, make your bed every morning or clean your kitchen counters at the end of each night.
3-2. Deep clean your home once a week to maintain it.
This deep cleaning can involve more involved cleaning tasks like cleaning your bathtub and shower, reorganizing and cleaning your refrigerator, or vacuuming all the floors in your home. Doing this deep cleaning each week will make keeping your home clean and organized much easier in the long run.
For best results, try setting aside a particular day each weekend to devote to cleaning and organizing your home. That way, keeping your home organized will just be part of your ordinary weekly schedule.
3-3. Avoid leaving clothes or other items on the floor.
When you step into the shower or you’re just coming home from work, it’s all too tempting to just leave your clothes, shoes, or other accessories on the floor. However, this will only lead your home to become disorganized again. Instead, always be sure to put away clothes or accessories as soon as you take them off to keep your home clean.
If you find you’re always leaving your dirty clothes on the floor when you take a shower, it might be an issue with the way your bathroom is arranged. Make sure you have a hamper for your dirty clothes and put it in a convenient location in your bathroom.
3-4. Keep items stored in your drawers neatly organized.
If you store any clothes in dresser drawers, keep these clothes neatly folded instead of haphazardly tossed in the drawer. For smaller clothing items like socks, belts, or lingerie, use drawer dividers to keep these items in order.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, keep shirts and pants in your drawers organized horizontally instead of vertically to make them easier to sort through.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Decluttering Your Home\\n1-1. Get rid of anything in your home that you haven’t used in 6 months.\\nGenerally speaking, if you haven’t used something in 6 months, you’re almost definitely never going to use it. Go through all the drawers, cabinets, and closets in your home and toss out anything that you can’t remember using in the past 6 months.\\nThere are obviously some exceptions to this rule. If you have a costume in your closet that you only use at Halloween or decorations you only break out during the holidays, the 6-month rule doesn’t apply to these items.\\nMementos and items with strong sentimental value, like things that your children made for you, also don’t fall under this rule. However, if the item only has a weak sentimental value, consider tossing it.\\n1-2. Throw away expired food or any kitchen items you don’t use.\\nIf there are items you’d like to keep but which you don’t use that often, move them somewhere where they’re not adding to a cluttered kitchen, such as on the top shelf of your pantry. Any items that you own but have never used and just can’t see yourself using, donate them or throw them away.\\nThis sounds harsh, but this is the best way to keep your kitchen organized and free of clutter.\\nIf there are food items that are about to expire, make a plan to use or eat them that day or the next day. If you don’t think you’ll eat them before they expire, throw them away.\\n1-3. Toss out any clothes that don’t fit you anymore.\\nIf you’re looking to make your home more organized, there’s no reason to keep clothes that you can’t physically wear anymore. Root through all the clothes in your closet and dresser drawers and donate the ones that don’t fit you to charity.\\nIf there are clothes you come across that still fit you but that you haven’t worn in a long time, toss them out as well, unless you strongly feel that you’ll wear them again.\\nIf you have younger siblings that wear the same kinds of clothes as you, consider giving them your old clothes as hand-me-downs.\\n1-4. Minimize the number of items you keep on the bathroom counter.\\nKeeping as much open space on your counter as possible will not only make it look tidier, but will also make cleaning and reorganizing the counter in the future much easier. Remove any items that you don’t use on a daily basis and push the remaining items to the back ⅓ of the counter space.\\nThose items that you take off of the counter can either be stored under the sink or on the backs of the cabinet doors, or simply thrown away if they’re things that you know you won’t use.\\nUse small, rectangular trays to hold any items that you leave out on the counter and to keep them in an orderly arrangement.\\n1-5. Consider holding a garage sale and selling the things you don’t need.\\nThis is the best way to turn the clutter in your home into a little bit of pocket cash for yourself. If you come across a lot of items that you don’t use very often and can reasonably live without, sell them to both declutter your home and make money.\\nThis method is best if you declutter your home in the spring or summer; it’ll be a lot harder to get people to come to your garage sale if you hold it during the cold weather months.\\n2. Getting Your Stuff Organized\\n2-1. Use hooks and organizers to hang items on walls and doors.\\nPlace over-the-door organizers over the backs of your bathroom door and cabinet doors or install command hooks on your doors and walls. Then, hang items from these surfaces to clear up space in your drawers and cabinets while also utilizing this vertical storage space.\\nCommand hooks work great for storing cloth items like hand towels and washcloths, as well as utensils and accessories that feature hanging loops, such as oven mitts and spatulas.\\nIn the bathroom, store items that you only use once or twice a day on the insides of cabinet doors, such as toothpaste. This way, the rest of your bathroom looks neat and clean for most of the day!\\nYou can also technically use over-the-door organizers on the back of your bathroom door, although the door may be too tall for this method of organization to be terribly useful.\\n2-2. Place items you use most often in easy-to-reach places.\\nFor example, store items you use every day in the kitchen, like your silverware and coffee mugs, in the most accessible areas of the room to emphasize ease-of-use in your kitchen organization. Do the same thing with key items in your bathroom, such as hand soap and towels.\\nIt will also make your rooms more organized to store similar items together. For instance, place all of your bowls and plates in one cabinet and all of your cups and glasses in another.\\n2-3. Put cabinet items in easily stacked, see-through containers.\\nThese containers will allow you to use your cabinet space in the most efficient way possible, as well as make finding cabinet items much easier. For best results, opt for square or rectangle containers over circular ones.\\nIf you use these containers in the kitchen, make sure the containers are dishwasher safe so you can clean them before and after you store food items in them.\\nIf the area under your bathroom sink has a lot of empty space, use see-through modular drawers that stack on each other to store bathroom items and add labels to the front of each to describe what they hold.\\n2-4. Store things under your bed using thin storage containers.\\nThere’s tons of tiny storage space under your bed that is hard to take advantage of without storage bins. Store bed linens and non-essential in these containers, or other items that you only use every once in a while, such as seasonal decor.\\nLong, thin storage containers are the best to use under the bed since they will stretch all the way to the back of the bed while still being long enough to be easily reached.\\nIf you don’t have thin containers, you can also use cubbies, baskets, or bags, or make your own containers out of repurposed dresser drawers.\\n2-5. Use drawer organizers to bring order to messy kitchen drawers.\\nThese wooden or plastic drawer inserts are pretty cheap and are very useful for organizing your drawers. Use one organizer for silverware, another for larger utensils, and another for your “junk” drawer.\\nIf you have any items that are too big to fit in these drawer organizers, such as very long spatulas, store them separately in their own drawer or in a jar on the countertop.\\nIf any of these items have hanging loops, see if you can hang them on command hooks on the walls or cabinet doors.\\n2-6. Have furniture in the living room that maximizes storage space.\\nFor example, put tall shelves with large sections in the living room (or bedroom) so you can place a variety of large and small items on them. You can also opt for a 2-tiered coffee table instead of a traditional table to double its storage space.\\nFor added convenience, keep a collapsible stool behind the shelf or somewhere nearby so you can reach the items on the top shelf.\\nYou can also go with a coffee table with drawers if you want the things you store in it to not be visible all the time.\\nIf you don’t plan to keep anything on top of your coffee table, or don’t plan to use the stuff you store in it all that often, consider going with a lift-top coffee table.\\n3. Keeping Your Home Clean and Tidy\\n3-1. Take steps every day to keep the rooms in your home organized.\\nA big part of organizing your home is keeping it from becoming disorganized in the first place. Make keeping your home organized part of your daily routine in order to maintain a “cleaning flow” and be more organized every day.\\nFor example, make your bed every morning or clean your kitchen counters at the end of each night.\\n3-2. Deep clean your home once a week to maintain it.\\nThis deep cleaning can involve more involved cleaning tasks like cleaning your bathtub and shower, reorganizing and cleaning your refrigerator, or vacuuming all the floors in your home. Doing this deep cleaning each week will make keeping your home clean and organized much easier in the long run.\\nFor best results, try setting aside a particular day each weekend to devote to cleaning and organizing your home. That way, keeping your home organized will just be part of your ordinary weekly schedule.\\n3-3. Avoid leaving clothes or other items on the floor.\\nWhen you step into the shower or you’re just coming home from work, it’s all too tempting to just leave your clothes, shoes, or other accessories on the floor. However, this will only lead your home to become disorganized again. Instead, always be sure to put away clothes or accessories as soon as you take them off to keep your home clean.\\nIf you find you’re always leaving your dirty clothes on the floor when you take a shower, it might be an issue with the way your bathroom is arranged. Make sure you have a hamper for your dirty clothes and put it in a convenient location in your bathroom.\\n3-4. Keep items stored in your drawers neatly organized.\\nIf you store any clothes in dresser drawers, keep these clothes neatly folded instead of haphazardly tossed in the drawer. For smaller clothing items like socks, belts, or lingerie, use drawer dividers to keep these items in order.\\nAlthough it may seem counterintuitive, keep shirts and pants in your drawers organized horizontally instead of vertically to make them easier to sort through.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you live a busy life, it’s easy to come home one day and find that you’ve let your home become totally disorganized. However, there’s no reason to fret! Even if you don’t know where to start, you can definitely turn the place around and be more organized at home. The best way to do this is to take it 1 room at a time, removing the clutter that has built up, and reorganizing things to make your home tidier and your life easier.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decluttering Your Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get rid of anything in your home that you haven’t used in 6 months.\", \"描述\": \"Generally speaking, if you haven’t used something in 6 months, you’re almost definitely never going to use it. Go through all the drawers, cabinets, and closets in your home and toss out anything that you can’t remember using in the past 6 months.\\nThere are obviously some exceptions to this rule. If you have a costume in your closet that you only use at Halloween or decorations you only break out during the holidays, the 6-month rule doesn’t apply to these items.\\nMementos and items with strong sentimental value, like things that your children made for you, also don’t fall under this rule. However, if the item only has a weak sentimental value, consider tossing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Throw away expired food or any kitchen items you don’t use.\", \"描述\": \"If there are items you’d like to keep but which you don’t use that often, move them somewhere where they’re not adding to a cluttered kitchen, such as on the top shelf of your pantry. Any items that you own but have never used and just can’t see yourself using, donate them or throw them away.\\nThis sounds harsh, but this is the best way to keep your kitchen organized and free of clutter.\\nIf there are food items that are about to expire, make a plan to use or eat them that day or the next day. If you don’t think you’ll eat them before they expire, throw them away.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Toss out any clothes that don’t fit you anymore.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re looking to make your home more organized, there’s no reason to keep clothes that you can’t physically wear anymore. Root through all the clothes in your closet and dresser drawers and donate the ones that don’t fit you to charity.\\nIf there are clothes you come across that still fit you but that you haven’t worn in a long time, toss them out as well, unless you strongly feel that you’ll wear them again.\\nIf you have younger siblings that wear the same kinds of clothes as you, consider giving them your old clothes as hand-me-downs.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Minimize the number of items you keep on the bathroom counter.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping as much open space on your counter as possible will not only make it look tidier, but will also make cleaning and reorganizing the counter in the future much easier. Remove any items that you don’t use on a daily basis and push the remaining items to the back ⅓ of the counter space.\\nThose items that you take off of the counter can either be stored under the sink or on the backs of the cabinet doors, or simply thrown away if they’re things that you know you won’t use.\\nUse small, rectangular trays to hold any items that you leave out on the counter and to keep them in an orderly arrangement.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider holding a garage sale and selling the things you don’t need.\", \"描述\": \"This is the best way to turn the clutter in your home into a little bit of pocket cash for yourself. If you come across a lot of items that you don’t use very often and can reasonably live without, sell them to both declutter your home and make money.\\nThis method is best if you declutter your home in the spring or summer; it’ll be a lot harder to get people to come to your garage sale if you hold it during the cold weather months.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Your Stuff Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use hooks and organizers to hang items on walls and doors.\", \"描述\": \"Place over-the-door organizers over the backs of your bathroom door and cabinet doors or install command hooks on your doors and walls. Then, hang items from these surfaces to clear up space in your drawers and cabinets while also utilizing this vertical storage space.\\nCommand hooks work great for storing cloth items like hand towels and washcloths, as well as utensils and accessories that feature hanging loops, such as oven mitts and spatulas.\\nIn the bathroom, store items that you only use once or twice a day on the insides of cabinet doors, such as toothpaste. This way, the rest of your bathroom looks neat and clean for most of the day!\\nYou can also technically use over-the-door organizers on the back of your bathroom door, although the door may be too tall for this method of organization to be terribly useful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Place items you use most often in easy-to-reach places.\", \"描述\": \"For example, store items you use every day in the kitchen, like your silverware and coffee mugs, in the most accessible areas of the room to emphasize ease-of-use in your kitchen organization. Do the same thing with key items in your bathroom, such as hand soap and towels.\\nIt will also make your rooms more organized to store similar items together. For instance, place all of your bowls and plates in one cabinet and all of your cups and glasses in another.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put cabinet items in easily stacked, see-through containers.\", \"描述\": \"These containers will allow you to use your cabinet space in the most efficient way possible, as well as make finding cabinet items much easier. For best results, opt for square or rectangle containers over circular ones.\\nIf you use these containers in the kitchen, make sure the containers are dishwasher safe so you can clean them before and after you store food items in them.\\nIf the area under your bathroom sink has a lot of empty space, use see-through modular drawers that stack on each other to store bathroom items and add labels to the front of each to describe what they hold.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Store things under your bed using thin storage containers.\", \"描述\": \"There’s tons of tiny storage space under your bed that is hard to take advantage of without storage bins. Store bed linens and non-essential in these containers, or other items that you only use every once in a while, such as seasonal decor.\\nLong, thin storage containers are the best to use under the bed since they will stretch all the way to the back of the bed while still being long enough to be easily reached.\\nIf you don’t have thin containers, you can also use cubbies, baskets, or bags, or make your own containers out of repurposed dresser drawers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use drawer organizers to bring order to messy kitchen drawers.\", \"描述\": \"These wooden or plastic drawer inserts are pretty cheap and are very useful for organizing your drawers. Use one organizer for silverware, another for larger utensils, and another for your “junk” drawer.\\nIf you have any items that are too big to fit in these drawer organizers, such as very long spatulas, store them separately in their own drawer or in a jar on the countertop.\\nIf any of these items have hanging loops, see if you can hang them on command hooks on the walls or cabinet doors.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have furniture in the living room that maximizes storage space.\", \"描述\": \"For example, put tall shelves with large sections in the living room (or bedroom) so you can place a variety of large and small items on them. You can also opt for a 2-tiered coffee table instead of a traditional table to double its storage space.\\nFor added convenience, keep a collapsible stool behind the shelf or somewhere nearby so you can reach the items on the top shelf.\\nYou can also go with a coffee table with drawers if you want the things you store in it to not be visible all the time.\\nIf you don’t plan to keep anything on top of your coffee table, or don’t plan to use the stuff you store in it all that often, consider going with a lift-top coffee table.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Home Clean and Tidy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take steps every day to keep the rooms in your home organized.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of organizing your home is keeping it from becoming disorganized in the first place. Make keeping your home organized part of your daily routine in order to maintain a “cleaning flow” and be more organized every day.\\nFor example, make your bed every morning or clean your kitchen counters at the end of each night.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Deep clean your home once a week to maintain it.\", \"描述\": \"This deep cleaning can involve more involved cleaning tasks like cleaning your bathtub and shower, reorganizing and cleaning your refrigerator, or vacuuming all the floors in your home. Doing this deep cleaning each week will make keeping your home clean and organized much easier in the long run.\\nFor best results, try setting aside a particular day each weekend to devote to cleaning and organizing your home. That way, keeping your home organized will just be part of your ordinary weekly schedule.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid leaving clothes or other items on the floor.\", \"描述\": \"When you step into the shower or you’re just coming home from work, it’s all too tempting to just leave your clothes, shoes, or other accessories on the floor. However, this will only lead your home to become disorganized again. Instead, always be sure to put away clothes or accessories as soon as you take them off to keep your home clean.\\nIf you find you’re always leaving your dirty clothes on the floor when you take a shower, it might be an issue with the way your bathroom is arranged. Make sure you have a hamper for your dirty clothes and put it in a convenient location in your bathroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep items stored in your drawers neatly organized.\", \"描述\": \"If you store any clothes in dresser drawers, keep these clothes neatly folded instead of haphazardly tossed in the drawer. For smaller clothing items like socks, belts, or lingerie, use drawer dividers to keep these items in order.\\nAlthough it may seem counterintuitive, keep shirts and pants in your drawers organized horizontally instead of vertically to make them easier to sort through.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,011 | How to Be Organized in Middle School | 1. Steps
1-1. Buy a good book bag or tote.
Don't get book bags that fall apart easily. Get a book bag that has enough zippers and compartments so that everything has a place, but not so many compartments that you're constantly looking for things. It's better to get a backpack if you will be carrying a lot of heavy books or binders, because the sling bags can ruin your shoulders. Recommendations for carry weight is 10% of your total weight.If your school allows it, it's a good idea to have a medium sized book bag or tote to carry around class to class also, though some schools don't allow any bags, many will say no backpacks but totes or book bags are fine. This really helps as you will not have to carry around a huge load of books, as most will fit in your bag.
1-2. Purchase supplies.
A key to having everything organized in middle school is having all the supplies you need, nice and clean and organized. Some schools give you the supplies you'll need, but you can generally buy supplies cheap at stationery stores, especially at the Back-To-School times. Here are some purchases you should make:
Check each teacher's supply list to make sure you have everything you need. Have your parents or guardians get everything on the lists so you're not the last student to have supplies. At the very least, you should have notebook paper, pencils, and folders for each class. Remember, you will be changing classes and taking your things with you to your next class so there is no need to purchase multiple packs of things like colored pencils or highlighters.
Buy, make, or reuse a pencil case. In the pencil case put things in like pencils, pens, erasers, sticky notes, etc.
Keep your planner with you. With your planner, your whole homework schedule and after school activities can be organized. Write things in it like homework, events, meetings, etc.
1-3. Make sure everything has a place and stays in it!
Math papers don't belong in your English notebook or your pocket. Be consistent. Keep papers in their corresponding notebook at all times. It will make things so much easier. You won't have to be worried on the way home about which binder something is in (and you forgot one of your binders). Many schools or teachers will require you to have a binder for their class and even schedule "notebook checks" where they make sure that you have all your papers in the right places in your binder.
1-4. Try setting up a schedule in the morning that will help you with staying organized.
A sample schedule might be: Wake up and shower at 6:00, get dressed at 6:20, eat breakfast at 6:45, do your hair and makeup at 7:00, and leave at 7:15. It also helps to pack everything you can the night before, like putting all your homework and books in your bag, so all you have to add is your lunch. With the schedule, make sure you allow extra time in case something goes wrong (ex: you wake up late and don't have time to do something).When you have LOADS of homework: Take a sheet of paper, and write down all the subjects you have, then write the time you think you will need for each subject. Then try to put that time for homework in your weekly schedule. With the right schedule, you will become the responsible person that you should be!
1-5. Always have backup supplies!
You want to have backup supplies just in case you lose any of it, or you forget it somewhere. Make sure to have a couple of extra packs of paper and pens/pencils in your locker.
1-6. At home, set up a drawer or area in your room for extra school supplies.
This really helps as you know where everything you're not using is. It is also a good idea if you plan to buy bulk packs of things, which is very cheap, but can be hard to keep track of. If you have a "School Supply Drawer", you will always have a place to put extras, and know where those things are when you eventually need them.
1-7. Only buy the types of supplies you need.
If you are in 8th grade, you probably won't need to buy lots of glue sticks and crayons, while a 5th grader won't need a graphing calculator. If you only buy what's on your supply list, and anything else you KNOW that you will use, you'll have a lot less junk to keep track of.
1-8. Label everything, and label it correctly, so you know where everything is.
Labeling your notebooks and folders makes them easier to find. If you can make the folder and notebook for a class the same color, that helps too.
1-9. If you like to draw or make up stories in your free time or while waiting for the bus, keep an "extra folder" for all your papers.
1-10. If you have teachers that often give you big assignments, keep a spot in your notebook for keeping up with all the info and supplies for that project so it won't be mixed in with daily work.
1-11. Keep hole punch that goes in your binder so any papers your teacher hands you, you can put them in your binder (if you keep a binder).
1-12. Do not shove all papers into your backpack; this will make a mess and you will not be able to find anything you need!
All of your papers will also get crumpled and ripped, and you don't want to hand them in like that!
1-13. Make sure to pay attention.
If you do not pay attention and one of your teachers calls on you, how will you know the right answer? You could use your study guide if you have one and know where it is.
1-14. If your school has lockers, consider buying a locker organizer.
Otherwise, do your best to divide it into several sections. Example: One for textbooks, one for notebooks, one for binders, and another for a backpack.
Keep a magnetic pencil holder and a whiteboard on your locker door. The magnetic pencil holder is for spare pens, pencils, highlighters, erasers, and supplies. The whiteboard is where you will write your assignments, classes, and memos on.
1-15. Make color-coded study schedules so that you get to review everything you need to.
Tips
Stay organized from the start of the school year; ask all your teachers how to stay organized for their classes.
When developing a new system, try it for 2 months to know if it works well for you, for example, use a locker shelf to separate morning from afternoon supplies.
Refrain from electronic distractions. Focus on "Is all my homework done?", or "Do I need anything extra today?"
Warnings
Keep your locker combination private. If your school requires it, they have a form you enter your locker number and combination code on.
If you bring money to school, keep it in a safe place, like a wallet or purse. NOT in your pocket.
Always make sure to keep valuables with you.
Have extra sharpened pencils on hand, as well as a refillable water bottle.
Never leave cell phones turned on in your locker. If it goes off, and a teacher happens to walk by, it can be confiscated or misconstrued by the authorities.
Always do your homework on the day it is assigned. This helps you because if there is something that comes up, you have already started.
Always have a computer on or nearby
Always be prepared.
Keep your cell phone in your locker (if you have a lock on your locker.)
If and when people start and keep asking you for supplies, simply tell them no, that you need them in a nice way. Something along the lines of, "I'd be happy to loan ____________ to you, but it's bad practice for me because then I have to do without. Please ask the counselor or teacher.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Buy a good book bag or tote.\\nDon't get book bags that fall apart easily. Get a book bag that has enough zippers and compartments so that everything has a place, but not so many compartments that you're constantly looking for things. It's better to get a backpack if you will be carrying a lot of heavy books or binders, because the sling bags can ruin your shoulders. Recommendations for carry weight is 10% of your total weight.If your school allows it, it's a good idea to have a medium sized book bag or tote to carry around class to class also, though some schools don't allow any bags, many will say no backpacks but totes or book bags are fine. This really helps as you will not have to carry around a huge load of books, as most will fit in your bag.\\n1-2. Purchase supplies.\\nA key to having everything organized in middle school is having all the supplies you need, nice and clean and organized. Some schools give you the supplies you'll need, but you can generally buy supplies cheap at stationery stores, especially at the Back-To-School times. Here are some purchases you should make:\\nCheck each teacher's supply list to make sure you have everything you need. Have your parents or guardians get everything on the lists so you're not the last student to have supplies. At the very least, you should have notebook paper, pencils, and folders for each class. Remember, you will be changing classes and taking your things with you to your next class so there is no need to purchase multiple packs of things like colored pencils or highlighters.\\nBuy, make, or reuse a pencil case. In the pencil case put things in like pencils, pens, erasers, sticky notes, etc.\\nKeep your planner with you. With your planner, your whole homework schedule and after school activities can be organized. Write things in it like homework, events, meetings, etc.\\n1-3. Make sure everything has a place and stays in it!\\nMath papers don't belong in your English notebook or your pocket. Be consistent. Keep papers in their corresponding notebook at all times. It will make things so much easier. You won't have to be worried on the way home about which binder something is in (and you forgot one of your binders). Many schools or teachers will require you to have a binder for their class and even schedule \\\"notebook checks\\\" where they make sure that you have all your papers in the right places in your binder.\\n1-4. Try setting up a schedule in the morning that will help you with staying organized.\\nA sample schedule might be: Wake up and shower at 6:00, get dressed at 6:20, eat breakfast at 6:45, do your hair and makeup at 7:00, and leave at 7:15. It also helps to pack everything you can the night before, like putting all your homework and books in your bag, so all you have to add is your lunch. With the schedule, make sure you allow extra time in case something goes wrong (ex: you wake up late and don't have time to do something).When you have LOADS of homework: Take a sheet of paper, and write down all the subjects you have, then write the time you think you will need for each subject. Then try to put that time for homework in your weekly schedule. With the right schedule, you will become the responsible person that you should be!\\n1-5. Always have backup supplies!\\nYou want to have backup supplies just in case you lose any of it, or you forget it somewhere. Make sure to have a couple of extra packs of paper and pens/pencils in your locker.\\n1-6. At home, set up a drawer or area in your room for extra school supplies.\\nThis really helps as you know where everything you're not using is. It is also a good idea if you plan to buy bulk packs of things, which is very cheap, but can be hard to keep track of. If you have a \\\"School Supply Drawer\\\", you will always have a place to put extras, and know where those things are when you eventually need them.\\n1-7. Only buy the types of supplies you need.\\nIf you are in 8th grade, you probably won't need to buy lots of glue sticks and crayons, while a 5th grader won't need a graphing calculator. If you only buy what's on your supply list, and anything else you KNOW that you will use, you'll have a lot less junk to keep track of.\\n1-8. Label everything, and label it correctly, so you know where everything is.\\nLabeling your notebooks and folders makes them easier to find. If you can make the folder and notebook for a class the same color, that helps too.\\n1-9. If you like to draw or make up stories in your free time or while waiting for the bus, keep an \\\"extra folder\\\" for all your papers.\\n\\n1-10. If you have teachers that often give you big assignments, keep a spot in your notebook for keeping up with all the info and supplies for that project so it won't be mixed in with daily work.\\n\\n1-11. Keep hole punch that goes in your binder so any papers your teacher hands you, you can put them in your binder (if you keep a binder).\\n\\n1-12. Do not shove all papers into your backpack; this will make a mess and you will not be able to find anything you need!\\nAll of your papers will also get crumpled and ripped, and you don't want to hand them in like that!\\n1-13. Make sure to pay attention.\\nIf you do not pay attention and one of your teachers calls on you, how will you know the right answer? You could use your study guide if you have one and know where it is.\\n1-14. If your school has lockers, consider buying a locker organizer.\\nOtherwise, do your best to divide it into several sections. Example: One for textbooks, one for notebooks, one for binders, and another for a backpack.\\nKeep a magnetic pencil holder and a whiteboard on your locker door. The magnetic pencil holder is for spare pens, pencils, highlighters, erasers, and supplies. The whiteboard is where you will write your assignments, classes, and memos on.\\n1-15. Make color-coded study schedules so that you get to review everything you need to.\\n\\nTips\\nStay organized from the start of the school year; ask all your teachers how to stay organized for their classes.\\nWhen developing a new system, try it for 2 months to know if it works well for you, for example, use a locker shelf to separate morning from afternoon supplies.\\nRefrain from electronic distractions. Focus on \\\"Is all my homework done?\\\", or \\\"Do I need anything extra today?\\\"\\nWarnings\\nKeep your locker combination private. If your school requires it, they have a form you enter your locker number and combination code on.\\nIf you bring money to school, keep it in a safe place, like a wallet or purse. NOT in your pocket.\\nAlways make sure to keep valuables with you.\\nHave extra sharpened pencils on hand, as well as a refillable water bottle.\\nNever leave cell phones turned on in your locker. If it goes off, and a teacher happens to walk by, it can be confiscated or misconstrued by the authorities.\\nAlways do your homework on the day it is assigned. This helps you because if there is something that comes up, you have already started.\\nAlways have a computer on or nearby\\nAlways be prepared.\\nKeep your cell phone in your locker (if you have a lock on your locker.)\\nIf and when people start and keep asking you for supplies, simply tell them no, that you need them in a nice way. Something along the lines of, \\\"I'd be happy to loan ____________ to you, but it's bad practice for me because then I have to do without. Please ask the counselor or teacher.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you the un-organized type? Are you always finding math homework in your English notebook? Organization is the key to success in middle school. Read this article on how to stay organized.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Buy a good book bag or tote.\", \"描述\": \"Don't get book bags that fall apart easily. Get a book bag that has enough zippers and compartments so that everything has a place, but not so many compartments that you're constantly looking for things. It's better to get a backpack if you will be carrying a lot of heavy books or binders, because the sling bags can ruin your shoulders. Recommendations for carry weight is 10% of your total weight.If your school allows it, it's a good idea to have a medium sized book bag or tote to carry around class to class also, though some schools don't allow any bags, many will say no backpacks but totes or book bags are fine. This really helps as you will not have to carry around a huge load of books, as most will fit in your bag.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Purchase supplies.\", \"描述\": \"A key to having everything organized in middle school is having all the supplies you need, nice and clean and organized. Some schools give you the supplies you'll need, but you can generally buy supplies cheap at stationery stores, especially at the Back-To-School times. Here are some purchases you should make:\\nCheck each teacher's supply list to make sure you have everything you need. Have your parents or guardians get everything on the lists so you're not the last student to have supplies. At the very least, you should have notebook paper, pencils, and folders for each class. Remember, you will be changing classes and taking your things with you to your next class so there is no need to purchase multiple packs of things like colored pencils or highlighters.\\nBuy, make, or reuse a pencil case. In the pencil case put things in like pencils, pens, erasers, sticky notes, etc.\\nKeep your planner with you. With your planner, your whole homework schedule and after school activities can be organized. Write things in it like homework, events, meetings, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure everything has a place and stays in it!\", \"描述\": \"Math papers don't belong in your English notebook or your pocket. Be consistent. Keep papers in their corresponding notebook at all times. It will make things so much easier. You won't have to be worried on the way home about which binder something is in (and you forgot one of your binders). Many schools or teachers will require you to have a binder for their class and even schedule \\\"notebook checks\\\" where they make sure that you have all your papers in the right places in your binder.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try setting up a schedule in the morning that will help you with staying organized.\", \"描述\": \"A sample schedule might be: Wake up and shower at 6:00, get dressed at 6:20, eat breakfast at 6:45, do your hair and makeup at 7:00, and leave at 7:15. It also helps to pack everything you can the night before, like putting all your homework and books in your bag, so all you have to add is your lunch. With the schedule, make sure you allow extra time in case something goes wrong (ex: you wake up late and don't have time to do something).When you have LOADS of homework: Take a sheet of paper, and write down all the subjects you have, then write the time you think you will need for each subject. Then try to put that time for homework in your weekly schedule. With the right schedule, you will become the responsible person that you should be!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Always have backup supplies!\", \"描述\": \"You want to have backup supplies just in case you lose any of it, or you forget it somewhere. Make sure to have a couple of extra packs of paper and pens/pencils in your locker.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"At home, set up a drawer or area in your room for extra school supplies.\", \"描述\": \"This really helps as you know where everything you're not using is. It is also a good idea if you plan to buy bulk packs of things, which is very cheap, but can be hard to keep track of. If you have a \\\"School Supply Drawer\\\", you will always have a place to put extras, and know where those things are when you eventually need them.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Only buy the types of supplies you need.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in 8th grade, you probably won't need to buy lots of glue sticks and crayons, while a 5th grader won't need a graphing calculator. If you only buy what's on your supply list, and anything else you KNOW that you will use, you'll have a lot less junk to keep track of.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Label everything, and label it correctly, so you know where everything is.\", \"描述\": \"Labeling your notebooks and folders makes them easier to find. If you can make the folder and notebook for a class the same color, that helps too.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"If you like to draw or make up stories in your free time or while waiting for the bus, keep an \\\"extra folder\\\" for all your papers.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"If you have teachers that often give you big assignments, keep a spot in your notebook for keeping up with all the info and supplies for that project so it won't be mixed in with daily work.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Keep hole punch that goes in your binder so any papers your teacher hands you, you can put them in your binder (if you keep a binder).\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Do not shove all papers into your backpack; this will make a mess and you will not be able to find anything you need!\", \"描述\": \"All of your papers will also get crumpled and ripped, and you don't want to hand them in like that!\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Make sure to pay attention.\", \"描述\": \"If you do not pay attention and one of your teachers calls on you, how will you know the right answer? You could use your study guide if you have one and know where it is.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"If your school has lockers, consider buying a locker organizer.\", \"描述\": \"Otherwise, do your best to divide it into several sections. Example: One for textbooks, one for notebooks, one for binders, and another for a backpack.\\nKeep a magnetic pencil holder and a whiteboard on your locker door. The magnetic pencil holder is for spare pens, pencils, highlighters, erasers, and supplies. The whiteboard is where you will write your assignments, classes, and memos on.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Make color-coded study schedules so that you get to review everything you need to.\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Stay organized from the start of the school year; ask all your teachers how to stay organized for their classes.\\n\", \"When developing a new system, try it for 2 months to know if it works well for you, for example, use a locker shelf to separate morning from afternoon supplies.\\n\", \"Refrain from electronic distractions. Focus on \\\"Is all my homework done?\\\", or \\\"Do I need anything extra today?\\\"\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Keep your locker combination private. If your school requires it, they have a form you enter your locker number and combination code on.\\n\", \"If you bring money to school, keep it in a safe place, like a wallet or purse. NOT in your pocket.\\n\", \"Always make sure to keep valuables with you.\\n\", \"Have extra sharpened pencils on hand, as well as a refillable water bottle.\\n\", \"Never leave cell phones turned on in your locker. If it goes off, and a teacher happens to walk by, it can be confiscated or misconstrued by the authorities.\\n\", \"Always do your homework on the day it is assigned. This helps you because if there is something that comes up, you have already started.\\n\", \"Always have a computer on or nearby\\n\", \"Always be prepared.\\n\", \"Keep your cell phone in your locker (if you have a lock on your locker.)\\n\", \"If and when people start and keep asking you for supplies, simply tell them no, that you need them in a nice way. Something along the lines of, \\\"I'd be happy to loan ____________ to you, but it's bad practice for me because then I have to do without. Please ask the counselor or teacher.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,012 | How to Be Organized in School | 1. Assignments
1-1. Create a binder with a separate section for each class.
Even if you do a lot of your schoolwork online, you'll still have things like worksheets and handouts to keep track of.
Try putting color-coded pocket folders inside the binder to keep track of papers that don't have holes punched in them. For instance, you might use a blue divider, folder, and notebook for math.
Any time you get a piece of paper for class, put it in your binder right away. That will help keep you from having a lot of loose, crinkled paper to sort through at the end of each day.
Figure out the organization method that works for you—you might want to have a section in your binder for graded papers and one for assignments that are ready to turn in, for instance.
1-2. Organize your digital files into folders.
Just like you need to organize your physical papers for class, it's also important to keep your digital files sorted. Any time you save a document, whether it's a draft of a paper or a worksheet that you downloaded, make sure to save it to a folder for that specific class. You can even use sub-folders to separate different types of files for a single class.
For instance, you might have a parent folder labeled "Biology," then within that folder, you might include sub-folders like, "Class Notes" "Homework," "Research Paper," and "Handouts."
Consider using a service like Google Drive or iCloud to store your files online (or on the cloud). That way, you won't lose your files if your computer crashes.
1-3. Track all of your assignments in a planner to keep up with them.
Keep a weekly planner so you don't forget to turn in any important assignments.
If your notebooks and folders are color-coded, consider using the same color pens to write down your assignments. For instance, you might write all of your math assignments in blue and all of your English assignments in red.
Include other activities in your planner as well. That way, it will be easy for you to see which days you'll be busiest, so you'll know how to plan your studying for each week.
1-4. Use an online planner if you prefer to keep up with things digitally.
You can use the calendar app on your phone, tablet, or computer to keep up with assignments. For instance, you might track everything in Google Calendar. You could also use apps like myHomework Student Planner, Trello, or Power Planner to help you manage assignments and to-do lists.
Your school might provide an online assignment manager that you can use, as well.
When you're trying to decide between a paper or digital planner, think about which one you're likely to check the most often. For instance, if you already have a paper planner but you forget to look at it most days, you might do better with an app you can put on your phone.
1-5. Set alarms on your phone to help you remember important deadlines.
Even if you're using a paper or digital planner, sometimes a due date might still creep up on you without you realizing it. If there's anything really important you need to remember, set an alarm on your phone. Try to set it a little ahead of the actual deadline so you'll be reminded in time if you do forget.
For instance, if you have a big paper due for Lit class, you might set a reminder for 1 week before the due date so you won't forget to work on your final draft, as well as a reminder for the morning it's due so you don't forget to bring it to class.
Your online planner may be able to notify you about your assignments, so check out the settings!
2. Notes
2-1. Start a new page of notes at the start of each class.
Every day when you start class, take out a fresh sheet of paper. Write the date and the class at the top of the page, then set it aside while you listen to the teacher. Throughout the class, use that sheet to write down the important points your teacher mentions.
If your teacher mentions a new assignment, write the due date in your planner immediately.
Writing the date on your paper will help you keep your notes organized, and it can be helpful if you're trying to recall something specific while you're studying.
2-2. Jot down the important things your teacher talks about.
Keep your notes simple and effective by writing down keywords and short sentences from the lesson. Don't try to write down everything your teacher says—just write down the main concepts, preferably in your own words.
Try using a highlighter to call attention to anything you think is especially important.
Rewriting things in your own words may help you learn, understand, and memorize the material better!
2-3. Try the Cornell method for more organized notes.
To follow the Cornell method, draw a horizontal line about 6 lines from the bottom of your lined paper. Then, draw a vertical line about 2 inches (5.1 cm) from the left side of the paper. This should create a total of 3 boxes. Use the left-hand vertical box to take down key points, and the right-hand larger box to take down general notes. After class, use the bottom horizontal box for review, clarification, and summary.
When you're studying for a test, first read the bottom horizontal box, and then go up to the other 2 boxes if you need more information.
The Cornell note-taking method might be the right note-taking method for you if you're studying something like History that has a lot of key points and specific details.
2-4. Practice the Mind Map note taking format.
For Mind Mapping, you'll need a blank sheet of paper instead of lined paper. Mind Mapping uses bubbles to connect individual keywords to one another. The benefit of Mind Map note-taking is that you can easily see the relationship and connections between 2 ideas at a glance.
If you feel yourself often getting bored taking notes, try Mind Mapping since it's more creative!
Mind Mapping can be effective for subjects like Literature, where 1 main subject (i.e. a book) has several important features (i.e. characters, themes, plot points, etc).
3. Studying and Time Management
3-1. Do your homework at the same time every day.
Just like it's easier to get up in the morning when you wake up at the same time every day, it's easier to remember to study and do your homework if you have a set time for it. It might feel a little strange to have a set schedule at first, but if you stick to it for a few weeks, you'll find that it starts to come naturally.
As you're planning your schedule, think about when you tend to be most productive—are you full of energy after school, or do you prefer to have a little downtime when you get home, then do your homework after dinner?
If you're learning remotely, think about the times of day you tend to work best and plan your difficult subjects for that time period. Save your easiest subjects for times when you might tend to drag a little more.
3-2. Study in a quiet, distraction-free spot.
Whether you're doing your homework after school or primarily learning online, you'll need a quiet, calm spot at home where you can focus on your schoolwork. Try to pick a spot that's out of the way, like a desk in your room. However, if that's not an option, let your family members know when you'll need some peace and quiet so they don't bother you while you're working.
It's a good idea to turn off notifications on your phone and tablet during your study time. That way, you won't be distracted by text messages or social media mentions.
Some people study best in complete silence, but other people do better with a little background music or white noise. Experiment to find what works for you.
If you start getting distracted while you're studying, get up and take a 10-15 minute break, then come back to your work.
3-3. Work on large assignments a little at a time.
Don't let big projects pile up on you—you'll feel anxious and rushed if you wait until the last minute, and your grade will likely suffer. Instead, start working on things like essays and art projects as soon as you know they're due. Break the project down into smaller, more manageable parts, and tackle a little at a time until the job is done.
For instance, if you have to write a 3-page paper in a week, you might schedule one day for doing research, one for filling out a detailed outline, one for writing a first draft, and two days for revisions. That will still leave you a couple of days of free time in case you fall behind or have other things you need to work on.
Working a little bit each day on your project will help the workload feel smaller. It will also give you more time to relax at the end of the day.
3-4. Review your notes from class every day.
Even if you're busy working on homework and other projects, take a few minutes of your study time each day to go over the notes you took in class. That will help you retain what you learned, and it's a lot easier to study for a test a little at a time instead of trying to cram all at once.
This is a good time to rewrite your notes if they're a little messy.
3-5. Get ready for the next day every night.
Before you go to bed, check your planner and make sure you have all of the assignments and supplies for the next day of school. Put them in your backpack if you'll be taking them to school, and consider packing your lunch at night so you won't be rushed the next morning.
You can even lay out your outfit for the next day! That way, all you'll have to worry about in the morning is getting up, brushing your teeth, and eating breakfast.
If there's anything important you need to remember for the next day, try putting a sticky note somewhere you'll be sure to see it, like on your bathroom mirror, lunchbox, or door.
4. Supplies and Study Space
4-1. Keep your school supplies in one place.
If you're attending school in-person, use your backpack and locker to store your items, or keep them in your desk or stacked in a bin if you're learning remotely. In addition, use pencil cases or pouches to organize small things like pens, pencils, highlighters, glue, scissors, and calculators.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to organize your supplies—the important thing is that you consistently put your things in the same place so you'll always know where they are.
Try keeping your pens, pencils, and colored pencils in a pencil case, for instance, and keep your extra papers and notebooks in a desk drawer at home.
Even if you want to rush out of class when the bell rings, it will be a lot easier to find your stuff later if you take a few seconds to put everything away neatly.
4-2. Stock up any time you're running low on school supplies.
A big part of being organized is being prepared. If you're running out of paper, pencils, or something else, make sure to buy more or ask your parents to buy you more. Put it in your pencil case or backpack as soon as you get it, so you don't forget it at home!
Being unprepared for class can not only distract you, but your classmates as well, especially if you have to ask them for supplies. It can also detract from your participation grade.
4-3. Throw away anything you no longer need at the end of each day.
Every day, take a few minutes to look through your school belongings, including your study area, backpack, locker, and binder. Toss out things like scrap paper, candy wrappers, dried-up pens, or anything else that's definitely trash. Keeping your study area tidy will make it easier to concentrate on your schoolwork.
Don't throw away old assignments and tests, even after they're graded—they might be helpful when you're trying to study for final exams.
If you study in an area that's also used for other things, like your family's dining table, try keeping your papers and books stacked in a bin when you're not using them.
Tips
Don't expect to become organized overnight! It takes time, so be patient with yourself and have confidence that it'll work out soon.
You should clean out your backpack at least once a week or after school every day to get rid of trash or rubbish that you don't need in there.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Assignments\\n1-1. Create a binder with a separate section for each class.\\nEven if you do a lot of your schoolwork online, you'll still have things like worksheets and handouts to keep track of.\\nTry putting color-coded pocket folders inside the binder to keep track of papers that don't have holes punched in them. For instance, you might use a blue divider, folder, and notebook for math.\\nAny time you get a piece of paper for class, put it in your binder right away. That will help keep you from having a lot of loose, crinkled paper to sort through at the end of each day.\\nFigure out the organization method that works for you—you might want to have a section in your binder for graded papers and one for assignments that are ready to turn in, for instance.\\n1-2. Organize your digital files into folders.\\nJust like you need to organize your physical papers for class, it's also important to keep your digital files sorted. Any time you save a document, whether it's a draft of a paper or a worksheet that you downloaded, make sure to save it to a folder for that specific class. You can even use sub-folders to separate different types of files for a single class.\\nFor instance, you might have a parent folder labeled \\\"Biology,\\\" then within that folder, you might include sub-folders like, \\\"Class Notes\\\" \\\"Homework,\\\" \\\"Research Paper,\\\" and \\\"Handouts.\\\"\\nConsider using a service like Google Drive or iCloud to store your files online (or on the cloud). That way, you won't lose your files if your computer crashes.\\n1-3. Track all of your assignments in a planner to keep up with them.\\nKeep a weekly planner so you don't forget to turn in any important assignments. \\nIf your notebooks and folders are color-coded, consider using the same color pens to write down your assignments. For instance, you might write all of your math assignments in blue and all of your English assignments in red.\\nInclude other activities in your planner as well. That way, it will be easy for you to see which days you'll be busiest, so you'll know how to plan your studying for each week.\\n1-4. Use an online planner if you prefer to keep up with things digitally.\\nYou can use the calendar app on your phone, tablet, or computer to keep up with assignments. For instance, you might track everything in Google Calendar. You could also use apps like myHomework Student Planner, Trello, or Power Planner to help you manage assignments and to-do lists.\\nYour school might provide an online assignment manager that you can use, as well.\\nWhen you're trying to decide between a paper or digital planner, think about which one you're likely to check the most often. For instance, if you already have a paper planner but you forget to look at it most days, you might do better with an app you can put on your phone.\\n1-5. Set alarms on your phone to help you remember important deadlines.\\nEven if you're using a paper or digital planner, sometimes a due date might still creep up on you without you realizing it. If there's anything really important you need to remember, set an alarm on your phone. Try to set it a little ahead of the actual deadline so you'll be reminded in time if you do forget.\\nFor instance, if you have a big paper due for Lit class, you might set a reminder for 1 week before the due date so you won't forget to work on your final draft, as well as a reminder for the morning it's due so you don't forget to bring it to class.\\nYour online planner may be able to notify you about your assignments, so check out the settings!\\n2. Notes\\n2-1. Start a new page of notes at the start of each class.\\nEvery day when you start class, take out a fresh sheet of paper. Write the date and the class at the top of the page, then set it aside while you listen to the teacher. Throughout the class, use that sheet to write down the important points your teacher mentions.\\nIf your teacher mentions a new assignment, write the due date in your planner immediately.\\nWriting the date on your paper will help you keep your notes organized, and it can be helpful if you're trying to recall something specific while you're studying.\\n2-2. Jot down the important things your teacher talks about.\\nKeep your notes simple and effective by writing down keywords and short sentences from the lesson. Don't try to write down everything your teacher says—just write down the main concepts, preferably in your own words.\\nTry using a highlighter to call attention to anything you think is especially important.\\nRewriting things in your own words may help you learn, understand, and memorize the material better!\\n2-3. Try the Cornell method for more organized notes.\\nTo follow the Cornell method, draw a horizontal line about 6 lines from the bottom of your lined paper. Then, draw a vertical line about 2 inches (5.1 cm) from the left side of the paper. This should create a total of 3 boxes. Use the left-hand vertical box to take down key points, and the right-hand larger box to take down general notes. After class, use the bottom horizontal box for review, clarification, and summary.\\nWhen you're studying for a test, first read the bottom horizontal box, and then go up to the other 2 boxes if you need more information.\\nThe Cornell note-taking method might be the right note-taking method for you if you're studying something like History that has a lot of key points and specific details.\\n2-4. Practice the Mind Map note taking format.\\nFor Mind Mapping, you'll need a blank sheet of paper instead of lined paper. Mind Mapping uses bubbles to connect individual keywords to one another. The benefit of Mind Map note-taking is that you can easily see the relationship and connections between 2 ideas at a glance.\\nIf you feel yourself often getting bored taking notes, try Mind Mapping since it's more creative!\\nMind Mapping can be effective for subjects like Literature, where 1 main subject (i.e. a book) has several important features (i.e. characters, themes, plot points, etc).\\n3. Studying and Time Management\\n3-1. Do your homework at the same time every day.\\nJust like it's easier to get up in the morning when you wake up at the same time every day, it's easier to remember to study and do your homework if you have a set time for it. It might feel a little strange to have a set schedule at first, but if you stick to it for a few weeks, you'll find that it starts to come naturally.\\nAs you're planning your schedule, think about when you tend to be most productive—are you full of energy after school, or do you prefer to have a little downtime when you get home, then do your homework after dinner?\\nIf you're learning remotely, think about the times of day you tend to work best and plan your difficult subjects for that time period. Save your easiest subjects for times when you might tend to drag a little more.\\n3-2. Study in a quiet, distraction-free spot.\\nWhether you're doing your homework after school or primarily learning online, you'll need a quiet, calm spot at home where you can focus on your schoolwork. Try to pick a spot that's out of the way, like a desk in your room. However, if that's not an option, let your family members know when you'll need some peace and quiet so they don't bother you while you're working.\\nIt's a good idea to turn off notifications on your phone and tablet during your study time. That way, you won't be distracted by text messages or social media mentions.\\nSome people study best in complete silence, but other people do better with a little background music or white noise. Experiment to find what works for you.\\nIf you start getting distracted while you're studying, get up and take a 10-15 minute break, then come back to your work.\\n3-3. Work on large assignments a little at a time.\\nDon't let big projects pile up on you—you'll feel anxious and rushed if you wait until the last minute, and your grade will likely suffer. Instead, start working on things like essays and art projects as soon as you know they're due. Break the project down into smaller, more manageable parts, and tackle a little at a time until the job is done.\\nFor instance, if you have to write a 3-page paper in a week, you might schedule one day for doing research, one for filling out a detailed outline, one for writing a first draft, and two days for revisions. That will still leave you a couple of days of free time in case you fall behind or have other things you need to work on.\\nWorking a little bit each day on your project will help the workload feel smaller. It will also give you more time to relax at the end of the day.\\n3-4. Review your notes from class every day.\\nEven if you're busy working on homework and other projects, take a few minutes of your study time each day to go over the notes you took in class. That will help you retain what you learned, and it's a lot easier to study for a test a little at a time instead of trying to cram all at once.\\nThis is a good time to rewrite your notes if they're a little messy.\\n3-5. Get ready for the next day every night.\\nBefore you go to bed, check your planner and make sure you have all of the assignments and supplies for the next day of school. Put them in your backpack if you'll be taking them to school, and consider packing your lunch at night so you won't be rushed the next morning.\\nYou can even lay out your outfit for the next day! That way, all you'll have to worry about in the morning is getting up, brushing your teeth, and eating breakfast.\\nIf there's anything important you need to remember for the next day, try putting a sticky note somewhere you'll be sure to see it, like on your bathroom mirror, lunchbox, or door.\\n4. Supplies and Study Space\\n4-1. Keep your school supplies in one place.\\nIf you're attending school in-person, use your backpack and locker to store your items, or keep them in your desk or stacked in a bin if you're learning remotely. In addition, use pencil cases or pouches to organize small things like pens, pencils, highlighters, glue, scissors, and calculators.\\nThere is no “right” or “wrong” way to organize your supplies—the important thing is that you consistently put your things in the same place so you'll always know where they are.\\nTry keeping your pens, pencils, and colored pencils in a pencil case, for instance, and keep your extra papers and notebooks in a desk drawer at home.\\nEven if you want to rush out of class when the bell rings, it will be a lot easier to find your stuff later if you take a few seconds to put everything away neatly.\\n4-2. Stock up any time you're running low on school supplies.\\nA big part of being organized is being prepared. If you're running out of paper, pencils, or something else, make sure to buy more or ask your parents to buy you more. Put it in your pencil case or backpack as soon as you get it, so you don't forget it at home!\\nBeing unprepared for class can not only distract you, but your classmates as well, especially if you have to ask them for supplies. It can also detract from your participation grade.\\n4-3. Throw away anything you no longer need at the end of each day.\\nEvery day, take a few minutes to look through your school belongings, including your study area, backpack, locker, and binder. Toss out things like scrap paper, candy wrappers, dried-up pens, or anything else that's definitely trash. Keeping your study area tidy will make it easier to concentrate on your schoolwork.\\nDon't throw away old assignments and tests, even after they're graded—they might be helpful when you're trying to study for final exams.\\nIf you study in an area that's also used for other things, like your family's dining table, try keeping your papers and books stacked in a bin when you're not using them.\\nTips\\nDon't expect to become organized overnight! It takes time, so be patient with yourself and have confidence that it'll work out soon.\\nYou should clean out your backpack at least once a week or after school every day to get rid of trash or rubbish that you don't need in there.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be really frustrating to feel like you're always forgetting your homework or losing your pencils, but you might not realize how much it's affecting your school performance. Fortunately, those problems can usually be fixed by a little organization. When you keep your work area, schedule, and even class notes organized, you'll almost certainly find that it's easier to keep up with your schoolwork, and you might even see an improvement in your grades!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assignments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create a binder with a separate section for each class.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you do a lot of your schoolwork online, you'll still have things like worksheets and handouts to keep track of.\\nTry putting color-coded pocket folders inside the binder to keep track of papers that don't have holes punched in them. For instance, you might use a blue divider, folder, and notebook for math.\\nAny time you get a piece of paper for class, put it in your binder right away. That will help keep you from having a lot of loose, crinkled paper to sort through at the end of each day.\\nFigure out the organization method that works for you—you might want to have a section in your binder for graded papers and one for assignments that are ready to turn in, for instance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Organize your digital files into folders.\", \"描述\": \"Just like you need to organize your physical papers for class, it's also important to keep your digital files sorted. Any time you save a document, whether it's a draft of a paper or a worksheet that you downloaded, make sure to save it to a folder for that specific class. You can even use sub-folders to separate different types of files for a single class.\\nFor instance, you might have a parent folder labeled \\\"Biology,\\\" then within that folder, you might include sub-folders like, \\\"Class Notes\\\" \\\"Homework,\\\" \\\"Research Paper,\\\" and \\\"Handouts.\\\"\\nConsider using a service like Google Drive or iCloud to store your files online (or on the cloud). That way, you won't lose your files if your computer crashes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Track all of your assignments in a planner to keep up with them.\", \"描述\": \"Keep a weekly planner so you don't forget to turn in any important assignments. \\nIf your notebooks and folders are color-coded, consider using the same color pens to write down your assignments. For instance, you might write all of your math assignments in blue and all of your English assignments in red.\\nInclude other activities in your planner as well. That way, it will be easy for you to see which days you'll be busiest, so you'll know how to plan your studying for each week.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use an online planner if you prefer to keep up with things digitally.\", \"描述\": \"You can use the calendar app on your phone, tablet, or computer to keep up with assignments. For instance, you might track everything in Google Calendar. You could also use apps like myHomework Student Planner, Trello, or Power Planner to help you manage assignments and to-do lists.\\nYour school might provide an online assignment manager that you can use, as well.\\nWhen you're trying to decide between a paper or digital planner, think about which one you're likely to check the most often. For instance, if you already have a paper planner but you forget to look at it most days, you might do better with an app you can put on your phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set alarms on your phone to help you remember important deadlines.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're using a paper or digital planner, sometimes a due date might still creep up on you without you realizing it. If there's anything really important you need to remember, set an alarm on your phone. Try to set it a little ahead of the actual deadline so you'll be reminded in time if you do forget.\\nFor instance, if you have a big paper due for Lit class, you might set a reminder for 1 week before the due date so you won't forget to work on your final draft, as well as a reminder for the morning it's due so you don't forget to bring it to class.\\nYour online planner may be able to notify you about your assignments, so check out the settings!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a new page of notes at the start of each class.\", \"描述\": \"Every day when you start class, take out a fresh sheet of paper. Write the date and the class at the top of the page, then set it aside while you listen to the teacher. Throughout the class, use that sheet to write down the important points your teacher mentions.\\nIf your teacher mentions a new assignment, write the due date in your planner immediately.\\nWriting the date on your paper will help you keep your notes organized, and it can be helpful if you're trying to recall something specific while you're studying.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Jot down the important things your teacher talks about.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your notes simple and effective by writing down keywords and short sentences from the lesson. Don't try to write down everything your teacher says—just write down the main concepts, preferably in your own words.\\nTry using a highlighter to call attention to anything you think is especially important.\\nRewriting things in your own words may help you learn, understand, and memorize the material better!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try the Cornell method for more organized notes.\", \"描述\": \"To follow the Cornell method, draw a horizontal line about 6 lines from the bottom of your lined paper. Then, draw a vertical line about 2 inches (5.1 cm) from the left side of the paper. This should create a total of 3 boxes. Use the left-hand vertical box to take down key points, and the right-hand larger box to take down general notes. After class, use the bottom horizontal box for review, clarification, and summary.\\nWhen you're studying for a test, first read the bottom horizontal box, and then go up to the other 2 boxes if you need more information.\\nThe Cornell note-taking method might be the right note-taking method for you if you're studying something like History that has a lot of key points and specific details.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice the Mind Map note taking format.\", \"描述\": \"For Mind Mapping, you'll need a blank sheet of paper instead of lined paper. Mind Mapping uses bubbles to connect individual keywords to one another. The benefit of Mind Map note-taking is that you can easily see the relationship and connections between 2 ideas at a glance.\\nIf you feel yourself often getting bored taking notes, try Mind Mapping since it's more creative!\\nMind Mapping can be effective for subjects like Literature, where 1 main subject (i.e. a book) has several important features (i.e. characters, themes, plot points, etc).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Studying and Time Management\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your homework at the same time every day.\", \"描述\": \"Just like it's easier to get up in the morning when you wake up at the same time every day, it's easier to remember to study and do your homework if you have a set time for it. It might feel a little strange to have a set schedule at first, but if you stick to it for a few weeks, you'll find that it starts to come naturally.\\nAs you're planning your schedule, think about when you tend to be most productive—are you full of energy after school, or do you prefer to have a little downtime when you get home, then do your homework after dinner?\\nIf you're learning remotely, think about the times of day you tend to work best and plan your difficult subjects for that time period. Save your easiest subjects for times when you might tend to drag a little more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Study in a quiet, distraction-free spot.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're doing your homework after school or primarily learning online, you'll need a quiet, calm spot at home where you can focus on your schoolwork. Try to pick a spot that's out of the way, like a desk in your room. However, if that's not an option, let your family members know when you'll need some peace and quiet so they don't bother you while you're working.\\nIt's a good idea to turn off notifications on your phone and tablet during your study time. That way, you won't be distracted by text messages or social media mentions.\\nSome people study best in complete silence, but other people do better with a little background music or white noise. Experiment to find what works for you.\\nIf you start getting distracted while you're studying, get up and take a 10-15 minute break, then come back to your work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on large assignments a little at a time.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let big projects pile up on you—you'll feel anxious and rushed if you wait until the last minute, and your grade will likely suffer. Instead, start working on things like essays and art projects as soon as you know they're due. Break the project down into smaller, more manageable parts, and tackle a little at a time until the job is done.\\nFor instance, if you have to write a 3-page paper in a week, you might schedule one day for doing research, one for filling out a detailed outline, one for writing a first draft, and two days for revisions. That will still leave you a couple of days of free time in case you fall behind or have other things you need to work on.\\nWorking a little bit each day on your project will help the workload feel smaller. It will also give you more time to relax at the end of the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Review your notes from class every day.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're busy working on homework and other projects, take a few minutes of your study time each day to go over the notes you took in class. That will help you retain what you learned, and it's a lot easier to study for a test a little at a time instead of trying to cram all at once.\\nThis is a good time to rewrite your notes if they're a little messy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get ready for the next day every night.\", \"描述\": \"Before you go to bed, check your planner and make sure you have all of the assignments and supplies for the next day of school. Put them in your backpack if you'll be taking them to school, and consider packing your lunch at night so you won't be rushed the next morning.\\nYou can even lay out your outfit for the next day! That way, all you'll have to worry about in the morning is getting up, brushing your teeth, and eating breakfast.\\nIf there's anything important you need to remember for the next day, try putting a sticky note somewhere you'll be sure to see it, like on your bathroom mirror, lunchbox, or door.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Supplies and Study Space\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your school supplies in one place.\", \"描述\": \"If you're attending school in-person, use your backpack and locker to store your items, or keep them in your desk or stacked in a bin if you're learning remotely. In addition, use pencil cases or pouches to organize small things like pens, pencils, highlighters, glue, scissors, and calculators.\\nThere is no “right” or “wrong” way to organize your supplies—the important thing is that you consistently put your things in the same place so you'll always know where they are.\\nTry keeping your pens, pencils, and colored pencils in a pencil case, for instance, and keep your extra papers and notebooks in a desk drawer at home.\\nEven if you want to rush out of class when the bell rings, it will be a lot easier to find your stuff later if you take a few seconds to put everything away neatly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stock up any time you're running low on school supplies.\", \"描述\": \"A big part of being organized is being prepared. If you're running out of paper, pencils, or something else, make sure to buy more or ask your parents to buy you more. Put it in your pencil case or backpack as soon as you get it, so you don't forget it at home!\\nBeing unprepared for class can not only distract you, but your classmates as well, especially if you have to ask them for supplies. It can also detract from your participation grade.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Throw away anything you no longer need at the end of each day.\", \"描述\": \"Every day, take a few minutes to look through your school belongings, including your study area, backpack, locker, and binder. Toss out things like scrap paper, candy wrappers, dried-up pens, or anything else that's definitely trash. Keeping your study area tidy will make it easier to concentrate on your schoolwork.\\nDon't throw away old assignments and tests, even after they're graded—they might be helpful when you're trying to study for final exams.\\nIf you study in an area that's also used for other things, like your family's dining table, try keeping your papers and books stacked in a bin when you're not using them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't expect to become organized overnight! It takes time, so be patient with yourself and have confidence that it'll work out soon.\\n\", \"You should clean out your backpack at least once a week or after school every day to get rid of trash or rubbish that you don't need in there.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,013 | How to Be Original | 1. Embracing Who You Are
1-1. Acknowledge your own uniqueness.
You are, in a sense, already original. While there will be people who are similar to you, wear similar clothes, and have similar ideas, no one has had the experiences you have or see the world from exactly the same point of view. Recognize that being who you are is already unique and you don’t need to change.
You might feel embarrassed by things that make you feel different. However, these differences don’t define you. They are part of who you are and add to your unique experience.
Recognize how your experiences shape who you are. There will never be a person who can replicate your experiences, thoughts, experiences, and ideas in full.
1-2. Have confidence in yourself
Being original means you might get some heat or backlash for your choices. People won't always react well to what they perceive as different, so building confidence in what you do will help show yourself and others that you are proud to be original. Think positively about yourself and keep your self-talk constructive.
For example, if you wear a bold and unique outfit to school, say to yourself, “I feel great and look great.”
Don’t compare yourself to others, especially if you tend to put yourself in a negative light. You’ll likely find others who you think are smarter, better dressed, or more "original" than you. Just be you.
Try to surround yourself with supportive people who don't drag you down. You'll have an easier time being confident in yourself if you have a good support system.
1-3. Try a new experience.
New experiences will introduce you to new perspectives and ideas. You may not always like them, but they are ways to uncover what you're passionate about and give you a new perspective. Try being spontaneous and purposefully participating in activities you normally wouldn’t do. If nothing else, you’ll have a unique experience and a fun story to tell others.
Sign up for a swing dance class or an art class. Learn a new language to gain a different perspective on seeing the world.
Look for flyers in your community for free music shows, lectures, and classes. This way you can try something new at little at no expense.
2. Expressing Yourself Creatively
2-1. Find a fun creative outlet.
Discover activities and hobbies that help you express yourself uniquely and creatively. Express yourself in a way that is significant to you. This might be painting, sculpting, sewing, creating jewelry, doing woodwork, singing, or composing music. The important part is that you have a way to express yourself in a unique way that you enjoy.
Think back on what you enjoyed as a child and find ways to build on that. Engage your playful side and see where it takes you.
You might use your own body to express originality. This might include the way you dress, your hair, or modifications such as piercings or tattoos.
2-2. Develop your style.
This goes for fashion, art, and everything in between. Take your interests and put your own twist on them. If you don’t know where to start in creating a style, do something that interests you until you find your ‘sweet spot.’ Be willing to take risks and fail as you define your style.
For example, if you’re a photographer, take photos of people, places, animals, and nature, and utilize different lenses and techniques. Notice what resonates with you, and you can begin to develop within framework. With practice, you might find that your style is taking black-and-white landscape photos.
Constantly assess your work and yourself. Think about what do you do well and what you can improve on.
2-3. Take risks instead of being focused on perfection.
If you feel constrained by being perfect or having a perfect idea, you likely won’t reach your potential in creating something truly original. Be willing to take risks and experience failure. While you’re creating, be willing to approach things unconventionally and make changes later. There’s no need to put your work in a box.
For example, if you usually draw clean lines in your sketching, experiment with imperfect lines and see how it affects your work.
2-4. Present yourself uniquely.
If you want to show your originality to others, your appearance is a great way to showcase your unique style. Figure out what you like to wear and what feels comfortable. Find a clothing style you enjoy (such as dramatic, classy, romantic) and make it your own.
If you like a classic look (like a t-shirt and jeans), do something original with your accessories or choose shoes that pop. You can also wear a fun belt or make some DIY changes to your t-shirts.
If you shop at unusual places you are more likely to find clothes that nobody else will have. Try secondhand clothing stores, vintage clothing shops, flea markets, and bazaars.
Especially if you wear a uniform, you can stand out by putting your effort into the details of your look. For example, mismatch your socks or jewelry or wear a hairstyle that’s uniquely your own.
3. Thinking Outside of the Box
3-1. Brainstorm your ideas.
Set aside some time just to generate ideas. Think of a goal or a problem, then begin to think of solutions. Let your mind express any and all ideas, even if you initially think they are good or bad. Write down your ideas and allow them to evolve.
Give yourself a time limit so that you can come up with as many ideas as you can within that time. Afterward, go through and pick out your best ideas and work with them.
3-2. Take action on your ideas.
It’s not enough just to have great ideas, you must act on them. People might respect that you’re a creative thinker, but what matters is what you do with your ideas. The action on your ideas is how you will be known or remembered.
Write down all of your ideas and weed out the ones that aren’t realistic. Find ways to express the ones that you can create!
For example, if you have an idea for an original dinner recipe, play around with some ingredients until the dish tastes like perfection.
3-3. Take a break from your project if you feel stuck.
Have you noticed that lots of creative people tend to procrastinate? Sometimes, procrastination can help you be more creative. Taking a break from your work (but keeping it in the back of your mind) can help you approach it differently and try new things. So, if you’re stuck on something, give yourself a break and come back to it later. Something new might hit you.
For example, if you’re writing a play and want to make it original, take a break from it (for days, weeks, or even months) and see what you come up with.
3-4. Notice what you like in others' works.
Original artistic works, fashion statements, or opinions don't arise out of nothing. They are built on a framework of ideas, writings, paintings and outfits from people who came before them. They look at the world in a different way. Notice what you like or appreciate, then brainstorm ways to build off of it.
Taking something and putting your own twist on it is one way to make original art. For example, write a fairytale story, but make it about animals or make the setting in outer space.
3-5. Collaborate your ideas with others.
Working jointly with others can help unlock your creativity and help you create something truly unique together. Working with someone else can also help you think differently, both as an individual and as a team. Even if you just brainstorm with another person, their input can help you develop something new that you would not have developed on your own.
For example, if you write science-fiction stories, collaborate with a historical fiction writer and write a short story together.
3-6. Work with an experienced mentor.
A mentor can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses and hone your skills. Having a different perspective can help you see things from a different point of view. When looking for a mentor, find someone who interests you and who has their own sense of individuality. This person should be experienced and offer you real-life advice and guidance.
For example, if you’re a painter, find a painter to mentor you who has sold some paintings or is known for their own unique style.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Embracing Who You Are\\n1-1. Acknowledge your own uniqueness.\\nYou are, in a sense, already original. While there will be people who are similar to you, wear similar clothes, and have similar ideas, no one has had the experiences you have or see the world from exactly the same point of view. Recognize that being who you are is already unique and you don’t need to change.\\nYou might feel embarrassed by things that make you feel different. However, these differences don’t define you. They are part of who you are and add to your unique experience.\\nRecognize how your experiences shape who you are. There will never be a person who can replicate your experiences, thoughts, experiences, and ideas in full.\\n1-2. Have confidence in yourself\\nBeing original means you might get some heat or backlash for your choices. People won't always react well to what they perceive as different, so building confidence in what you do will help show yourself and others that you are proud to be original. Think positively about yourself and keep your self-talk constructive.\\nFor example, if you wear a bold and unique outfit to school, say to yourself, “I feel great and look great.”\\nDon’t compare yourself to others, especially if you tend to put yourself in a negative light. You’ll likely find others who you think are smarter, better dressed, or more \\\"original\\\" than you. Just be you.\\nTry to surround yourself with supportive people who don't drag you down. You'll have an easier time being confident in yourself if you have a good support system.\\n1-3. Try a new experience.\\nNew experiences will introduce you to new perspectives and ideas. You may not always like them, but they are ways to uncover what you're passionate about and give you a new perspective. Try being spontaneous and purposefully participating in activities you normally wouldn’t do. If nothing else, you’ll have a unique experience and a fun story to tell others.\\nSign up for a swing dance class or an art class. Learn a new language to gain a different perspective on seeing the world.\\nLook for flyers in your community for free music shows, lectures, and classes. This way you can try something new at little at no expense.\\n2. Expressing Yourself Creatively\\n2-1. Find a fun creative outlet.\\nDiscover activities and hobbies that help you express yourself uniquely and creatively. Express yourself in a way that is significant to you. This might be painting, sculpting, sewing, creating jewelry, doing woodwork, singing, or composing music. The important part is that you have a way to express yourself in a unique way that you enjoy.\\nThink back on what you enjoyed as a child and find ways to build on that. Engage your playful side and see where it takes you.\\nYou might use your own body to express originality. This might include the way you dress, your hair, or modifications such as piercings or tattoos.\\n2-2. Develop your style.\\nThis goes for fashion, art, and everything in between. Take your interests and put your own twist on them. If you don’t know where to start in creating a style, do something that interests you until you find your ‘sweet spot.’ Be willing to take risks and fail as you define your style.\\nFor example, if you’re a photographer, take photos of people, places, animals, and nature, and utilize different lenses and techniques. Notice what resonates with you, and you can begin to develop within framework. With practice, you might find that your style is taking black-and-white landscape photos.\\nConstantly assess your work and yourself. Think about what do you do well and what you can improve on.\\n2-3. Take risks instead of being focused on perfection.\\nIf you feel constrained by being perfect or having a perfect idea, you likely won’t reach your potential in creating something truly original. Be willing to take risks and experience failure. While you’re creating, be willing to approach things unconventionally and make changes later. There’s no need to put your work in a box.\\nFor example, if you usually draw clean lines in your sketching, experiment with imperfect lines and see how it affects your work.\\n2-4. Present yourself uniquely.\\nIf you want to show your originality to others, your appearance is a great way to showcase your unique style. Figure out what you like to wear and what feels comfortable. Find a clothing style you enjoy (such as dramatic, classy, romantic) and make it your own.\\nIf you like a classic look (like a t-shirt and jeans), do something original with your accessories or choose shoes that pop. You can also wear a fun belt or make some DIY changes to your t-shirts.\\nIf you shop at unusual places you are more likely to find clothes that nobody else will have. Try secondhand clothing stores, vintage clothing shops, flea markets, and bazaars.\\nEspecially if you wear a uniform, you can stand out by putting your effort into the details of your look. For example, mismatch your socks or jewelry or wear a hairstyle that’s uniquely your own.\\n3. Thinking Outside of the Box\\n3-1. Brainstorm your ideas.\\nSet aside some time just to generate ideas. Think of a goal or a problem, then begin to think of solutions. Let your mind express any and all ideas, even if you initially think they are good or bad. Write down your ideas and allow them to evolve.\\nGive yourself a time limit so that you can come up with as many ideas as you can within that time. Afterward, go through and pick out your best ideas and work with them.\\n3-2. Take action on your ideas.\\nIt’s not enough just to have great ideas, you must act on them. People might respect that you’re a creative thinker, but what matters is what you do with your ideas. The action on your ideas is how you will be known or remembered.\\nWrite down all of your ideas and weed out the ones that aren’t realistic. Find ways to express the ones that you can create!\\nFor example, if you have an idea for an original dinner recipe, play around with some ingredients until the dish tastes like perfection.\\n3-3. Take a break from your project if you feel stuck.\\nHave you noticed that lots of creative people tend to procrastinate? Sometimes, procrastination can help you be more creative. Taking a break from your work (but keeping it in the back of your mind) can help you approach it differently and try new things. So, if you’re stuck on something, give yourself a break and come back to it later. Something new might hit you.\\nFor example, if you’re writing a play and want to make it original, take a break from it (for days, weeks, or even months) and see what you come up with.\\n3-4. Notice what you like in others' works.\\nOriginal artistic works, fashion statements, or opinions don't arise out of nothing. They are built on a framework of ideas, writings, paintings and outfits from people who came before them. They look at the world in a different way. Notice what you like or appreciate, then brainstorm ways to build off of it.\\nTaking something and putting your own twist on it is one way to make original art. For example, write a fairytale story, but make it about animals or make the setting in outer space.\\n3-5. Collaborate your ideas with others.\\nWorking jointly with others can help unlock your creativity and help you create something truly unique together. Working with someone else can also help you think differently, both as an individual and as a team. Even if you just brainstorm with another person, their input can help you develop something new that you would not have developed on your own.\\nFor example, if you write science-fiction stories, collaborate with a historical fiction writer and write a short story together.\\n3-6. Work with an experienced mentor.\\nA mentor can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses and hone your skills. Having a different perspective can help you see things from a different point of view. When looking for a mentor, find someone who interests you and who has their own sense of individuality. This person should be experienced and offer you real-life advice and guidance.\\nFor example, if you’re a painter, find a painter to mentor you who has sold some paintings or is known for their own unique style.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You want to be original, but how do you do it? One of the best ways to be original is by embracing who you are without trying to be anyone else. Find the things that make you unique and celebrate them (don’t hide them!). Challenge yourself to think out of the box and act creatively. Overall, being original means being uniquely you and expressing what you enjoy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embracing Who You Are\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your own uniqueness.\", \"描述\": \"You are, in a sense, already original. While there will be people who are similar to you, wear similar clothes, and have similar ideas, no one has had the experiences you have or see the world from exactly the same point of view. Recognize that being who you are is already unique and you don’t need to change.\\nYou might feel embarrassed by things that make you feel different. However, these differences don’t define you. They are part of who you are and add to your unique experience.\\nRecognize how your experiences shape who you are. There will never be a person who can replicate your experiences, thoughts, experiences, and ideas in full.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have confidence in yourself\", \"描述\": \"Being original means you might get some heat or backlash for your choices. People won't always react well to what they perceive as different, so building confidence in what you do will help show yourself and others that you are proud to be original. Think positively about yourself and keep your self-talk constructive.\\nFor example, if you wear a bold and unique outfit to school, say to yourself, “I feel great and look great.”\\nDon’t compare yourself to others, especially if you tend to put yourself in a negative light. You’ll likely find others who you think are smarter, better dressed, or more \\\"original\\\" than you. Just be you.\\nTry to surround yourself with supportive people who don't drag you down. You'll have an easier time being confident in yourself if you have a good support system.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try a new experience.\", \"描述\": \"New experiences will introduce you to new perspectives and ideas. You may not always like them, but they are ways to uncover what you're passionate about and give you a new perspective. Try being spontaneous and purposefully participating in activities you normally wouldn’t do. If nothing else, you’ll have a unique experience and a fun story to tell others.\\nSign up for a swing dance class or an art class. Learn a new language to gain a different perspective on seeing the world.\\nLook for flyers in your community for free music shows, lectures, and classes. This way you can try something new at little at no expense.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Expressing Yourself Creatively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a fun creative outlet.\", \"描述\": \"Discover activities and hobbies that help you express yourself uniquely and creatively. Express yourself in a way that is significant to you. This might be painting, sculpting, sewing, creating jewelry, doing woodwork, singing, or composing music. The important part is that you have a way to express yourself in a unique way that you enjoy.\\nThink back on what you enjoyed as a child and find ways to build on that. Engage your playful side and see where it takes you.\\nYou might use your own body to express originality. This might include the way you dress, your hair, or modifications such as piercings or tattoos.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop your style.\", \"描述\": \"This goes for fashion, art, and everything in between. Take your interests and put your own twist on them. If you don’t know where to start in creating a style, do something that interests you until you find your ‘sweet spot.’ Be willing to take risks and fail as you define your style.\\nFor example, if you’re a photographer, take photos of people, places, animals, and nature, and utilize different lenses and techniques. Notice what resonates with you, and you can begin to develop within framework. With practice, you might find that your style is taking black-and-white landscape photos.\\nConstantly assess your work and yourself. Think about what do you do well and what you can improve on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take risks instead of being focused on perfection.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel constrained by being perfect or having a perfect idea, you likely won’t reach your potential in creating something truly original. Be willing to take risks and experience failure. While you’re creating, be willing to approach things unconventionally and make changes later. There’s no need to put your work in a box.\\nFor example, if you usually draw clean lines in your sketching, experiment with imperfect lines and see how it affects your work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Present yourself uniquely.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to show your originality to others, your appearance is a great way to showcase your unique style. Figure out what you like to wear and what feels comfortable. Find a clothing style you enjoy (such as dramatic, classy, romantic) and make it your own.\\nIf you like a classic look (like a t-shirt and jeans), do something original with your accessories or choose shoes that pop. You can also wear a fun belt or make some DIY changes to your t-shirts.\\nIf you shop at unusual places you are more likely to find clothes that nobody else will have. Try secondhand clothing stores, vintage clothing shops, flea markets, and bazaars.\\nEspecially if you wear a uniform, you can stand out by putting your effort into the details of your look. For example, mismatch your socks or jewelry or wear a hairstyle that’s uniquely your own.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Thinking Outside of the Box\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Brainstorm your ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Set aside some time just to generate ideas. Think of a goal or a problem, then begin to think of solutions. Let your mind express any and all ideas, even if you initially think they are good or bad. Write down your ideas and allow them to evolve.\\nGive yourself a time limit so that you can come up with as many ideas as you can within that time. Afterward, go through and pick out your best ideas and work with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take action on your ideas.\", \"描述\": \"It’s not enough just to have great ideas, you must act on them. People might respect that you’re a creative thinker, but what matters is what you do with your ideas. The action on your ideas is how you will be known or remembered.\\nWrite down all of your ideas and weed out the ones that aren’t realistic. Find ways to express the ones that you can create!\\nFor example, if you have an idea for an original dinner recipe, play around with some ingredients until the dish tastes like perfection.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a break from your project if you feel stuck.\", \"描述\": \"Have you noticed that lots of creative people tend to procrastinate? Sometimes, procrastination can help you be more creative. Taking a break from your work (but keeping it in the back of your mind) can help you approach it differently and try new things. So, if you’re stuck on something, give yourself a break and come back to it later. Something new might hit you.\\nFor example, if you’re writing a play and want to make it original, take a break from it (for days, weeks, or even months) and see what you come up with.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Notice what you like in others' works.\", \"描述\": \"Original artistic works, fashion statements, or opinions don't arise out of nothing. They are built on a framework of ideas, writings, paintings and outfits from people who came before them. They look at the world in a different way. Notice what you like or appreciate, then brainstorm ways to build off of it.\\nTaking something and putting your own twist on it is one way to make original art. For example, write a fairytale story, but make it about animals or make the setting in outer space.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Collaborate your ideas with others.\", \"描述\": \"Working jointly with others can help unlock your creativity and help you create something truly unique together. Working with someone else can also help you think differently, both as an individual and as a team. Even if you just brainstorm with another person, their input can help you develop something new that you would not have developed on your own.\\nFor example, if you write science-fiction stories, collaborate with a historical fiction writer and write a short story together.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Work with an experienced mentor.\", \"描述\": \"A mentor can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses and hone your skills. Having a different perspective can help you see things from a different point of view. When looking for a mentor, find someone who interests you and who has their own sense of individuality. This person should be experienced and offer you real-life advice and guidance.\\nFor example, if you’re a painter, find a painter to mentor you who has sold some paintings or is known for their own unique style.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,014 | How to Be Outgoing | 1. Mastering the Art of Conversation
1-1. Start off small.
No matter how obvious it may sound, it's helpful to actually realize that outgoing people didn’t go straight from the womb to parties. They had years of practice in safer environments: speaking to their siblings, joking with their classmates, and so on. You can simulate the natural way of becoming outgoing – by starting off small and proceeding incrementally. What’s a small step you can take today to do something slightly more outgoing than you used to do?
Start with people you know, or, if you are starting fresh, find a small group of people that you share an interest with. A book club, sports team or hobby group is a great place to start. Try something new with this group such as participating in a bar crawl or arranging a barbecue and let people bring friends.
1-2. Say thank you in public.
You might see some of the same people every day, but never acknowledge them. To become outgoing, it is important to start acknowledging the people around you more often. The next time you order a coffee or check out at the grocery store, smile at the person helping you. Make eye contact and say, "thank you." This small gesture will help you become more comfortable interacting with others, and it will probably make the other person's day a little brighter.
A little compliment can also go a long way, especially in service situations. Remember that your grocery clerk or barista serves hundreds of people a day, many of whom probably either ignore them or are rude. Say something like, "Wow, thanks for getting that to me so quickly" to show your appreciation.
1-3. Make eye contact.
If you're in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there. Once you've established eye contact, give the other person a friendly smile. If the other person holds your gaze, then go over to them and introduce yourself. If the person smiles back at you, then that is also a good sign.
If the person does not respond, let them go their way. There's a difference between being "outgoing" and "pushy." You don't want to force interaction on someone who isn't interested.
Keep in mind that this approach doesn't work well in situations where people do not expect to be approached, such as while riding public transit. Part of being outgoing is knowing when and where to approach others and when to keep to yourself.
1-4. Introduce yourself.
You don’t have to be a suave charmer to be friendly and outgoing. Maybe try introducing yourself by saying you’re new to the area, or offering a compliment to the other person.
Look for other “wallflowers.” You may not be comfortable jumping straight from “shy” to “social butterfly.” If you’re at a social function, try looking for other people who appear to be shy or holding back. Chances are, they feel as uncomfortable as you do. They’ll probably be happy that you made the first move to say “hello.”
Be friendly, but not pushy. Once you’ve introduced yourself and asked a question or two, move on if the other person seems disinterested.
1-5. Ask open-ended questions.
One way to be more outgoing in your conversations with others is to ask them open-ended questions. These questions invite others to respond with more than a “yes” or “no.” It’s easier to start up a chat with someone new if you invite them to share about themselves. If you've already exchanged eye contact and smiles with someone, and you're close by, start off with a question. Here are some ideas:
How do you like that book/magazine?
What is your favorite thing to do around here?
Where did you find that awesome T-shirt?
1-6. Give compliments
If you're interested in people, you're bound to notice little things that you like or appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a compliment. Just make sure that your compliments are genuine. People can tell when compliments are not sincere. Think of something like:
I've read that book. Great choice!
I love those shoes. They go great with that skirt.
Is that a hazelnut latte? Nice -- that's my go-to every Monday morning.
1-7. Search for a common interest.
First conversations between people are all about what the two parties have in common. In order to find out what you can talk about, you may have to probe for things you have in common. If you work together or have mutual friends or have anything that links you together, it should be a bit easier. Talking about work, your mutual friend, or your common interest will open up further topics of discussion.
If this person is a stranger, you could use the situation to help you come up with something to talk about. For example, if you're in a bookstore, you could ask someone for a favorite reading recommendation. If you're both stuck in a long line, you could make a joke about it.
Be careful to avoid comments that sound judgmental. For example, you could say you love the person's haircut and then ask where s/he got it done. Or you could say that you've been looking for a pair of sneakers like the ones the other person's wearing, and ask where s/he got them. Avoid things that are likely to seem offensive, such as comments on the person's size, skin color, or physical attractiveness.
1-8. Pay attention to what excites people.
If person A is dead set on talking about thermodynamics and person B is dead set on talking about Italian coffee, then the conversation isn't going to go anywhere. One of these people has to latch on to the other person's interests. Take the initiative and be that person.
When you're making small talk, try to notice when the other person perks up. You'll be able to hear it and see it. Their face will be more expressive (and so will their voice) and you'll probably see movement in their body.
1-9. Know that your flaws can turn into benefits.
A common misconception is that people will like you more if you become "better." A bigger home, a faster car or a well-paid job look like great investments when it comes to making friends. The truth is there is no correlation between success and making real friends. People don’t like hanging out with those they feel subordinate to. Instead of trying to hide or kill your flaws, know that a weak paycheck, a bit of a belly, or spending too many hours watching TV only makes you more human and likable.
Take yourself less seriously. You don't have to get people to know about the new sound system you bought or that cool place you went to for a vacation. Instead, you could tell stories about funny shortcomings.
You don't have to stop improving, just do it for yourself instead of others.
1-10. Chat up your coworkers.
If you have a job, chances are you have an environment with built-in social contact if you make a little effort. Find a place where people tend to congregate, such as the break room or a coworker’s cubicle.
The water cooler isn’t the place for heated topics, like religion or politics. Instead, try engaging people by remarking on popular culture or sports. While people often have strong opinions about these subjects too, they’re a safer bet to keep it conversation-friendly.
Being outgoing at work can be important. By being more outgoing, people will perceive you as more friendly and positive. Networking and chatting at work can also help you get the recognition at work that you deserve.
1-11. End on a high note.
Leave the other person wanting more. A good way to accomplish this is by leaving the door open for future interaction. Be gracious in exiting the conversation, so that the other person doesn’t feel as though you’ve ditched them.
For example, if you’ve been talking about your dogs together, ask about a good local dog park. If the other person responds positively, you could invite them to bring their dog to the park too: “Have you ever been to the dog park off Baxter Road? I haven't. What would you think of going together next Saturday?” Making a specific invitation is more effective than “let’s get together sometime” because it shows that you’re not just being polite.
Once you’ve finished the conversation, wrap up by restating a main point you discussed. This will help the other person feel like you were listening to them. For example: “Good luck with that marathon on Sunday! I’d love to hear all about it next week.”
End by affirming that you enjoyed the conversation. “It was really nice talking with you” or “It was so nice to meet you” help the other person feel valued.
1-12. Talk to anyone and everyone
After you become a bit more comfortable talking to people you know, try talking to new people as you go through your day. At first you might feel uncomfortable talking with people you don’t know and who you might not normally approach. But the more you approach people and get comfortable with making conversation, the easier it will become.
2. Getting Out There
2-1. Set specific, reasonable goals.
Being outgoing is a tough goal to reach because it includes a lot of small behaviors. That is why it is a good idea to break this large goal down into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to be outgoing, set goals to have at least one conversation with a new person each day or to smile at five people every day.
Try to make small talk (or if that's too much, just smiling) with one stranger or acquaintance every day, say "hi" to someone on the street, or ask your barista’s name. These little victories will keep you going and make you feel ready for loftier challenges.
2-2. Join a club.
If you aren’t sure how to approach others in social settings, try joining a club for a particular interest. This gives you the opportunity to interact, usually in small-scale settings, with others who share an interest of yours.
Look for a club that encourages socializing, such as a book club or cooking class. You can ask questions and get into discussions, but the focus won’t be entirely on you. These situations can be great for shy people.
Shared experiences can be a powerful bonding technique. Joining a club where you’ll share experiences with others gives you a head start -- you’ll already have common ground established.
2-3. Invite people over.
You don’t even have to leave your house to be outgoing. Invite people to come over for a movie night or dinner party. If you’re welcoming and inviting, others will be more likely to feel as though you value them (and they’re more likely to have fun).
Try creating events that will foster conversation. You could host a BYOB wine tasting, where everyone has to sip and compare notes. Or, you could hold a potluck dinner, where everyone has to bring their favorite dish of their grandmother’s (and a copy of the recipe). Having a reason to talk with each other helps a party stay lively and enjoyable (and, let’s be honest, food and wine never hurt).
2-4. Master a hobby.
A hobby can help you feel more in control, which may help you to be more outgoing. If you master a hobby, then you may feel proud and confident as well, which can give you even more social confidence.
Hobbies also give you something to chat about with new acquaintances. They often give you a way to meet new people. And they have health benefits, such as a lower risk of depression.
2-5. Dress for success.
The way that you dress affects the way that you feel about yourself. Dressing in a way that expresses your personality and values can help you feel confident, and that will help you be more outgoing.
If you’re a little nervous about socializing, wear something that makes you feel powerful and attractive. This will help you to carry that confidence into your interactions.
Clothes can also be great conversation-starters. Wearing a fun tie or a statement bracelet can be a way for others to break the ice with you. You can also compliment something someone else is wearing as a way to get acquainted.
Be careful not to let judgments slip into these compliments, such as "That dress makes you look so thin!" That type of comment focuses on social standards of beauty rather than the person you're talking with. Instead, try something positive but nonjudgmental like "I love the design of that tie, it's so intricate" or "I've been looking for a pair of shoes like that, where did you get them?"
2-6. Work on your existing friendships.
Make sure to improve friendships with existing friends and the people you meet. Not only will you be more connected, but you'll be growing and gaining new experiences to share with both these groups of people.
Old friends are good practice. They can introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you would never go alone. Don't ignore them! They're probably going through similar things, too.
2-7. Introduce people to each other
Part of being outgoing is helping others feel comfortable. As you become more comfortable introducing yourself, spread the love by introducing other people to each other.
Introducing people to each other helps ease social awkwardness. Think about what you know about each person -- what do they have in common? When you're talking to Janice from the yarn shop, take a moment to call out, "Hey, Steve! This is Janice. We were just talking about that new band at the Factory last night. What'd you think?"
3. Communicating With Your Body
3-1. Examine your body language.
Your nonverbal communication, such as body language and eye contact, can say as much about you as your actual words. The way that you hold your body sends messages about you to others. People judge others as attractive, likeable, competent, trustworthy, or aggressive in a fraction of a second, so you may have only 1/10 of a second to make a first impression.
For example, making yourself “smaller” by crossing your legs, hunching, holding your arms, etc., communicates that you are not comfortable in a situation. It can send a message that you don’t want to interact with others.
On the other hand, you can express confidence and power by opening yourself up. You don’t have to take more room than you need or intrude on others’ space, but establish space for yourself. Plant your feet firmly when you stand or sit. Stand with your chest out and shoulders back. Avoid fidgeting, pointing, or shifting your weight.
Your body language also affects how you feel about yourself. People who use “low power” body language, such as making yourself smaller or closing yourself off by crossing your legs or arms, actually experience increased cortisol, a stress hormone related to feelings of insecurity.
3-2. Make eye contact.
You can be more outgoing just by making eye contact with others. For example, if you look directly at a person, this is commonly interpreted as an invitation. The other person returning your gaze acts as an acceptance of that invitation.
People who make eye contact while speaking are often considered more friendly, open, and believable. Extroverts and socially confident people look more often, and for longer, at people they are speaking or interacting with.
Eye contact produces a feeling of connection between people, even when the eyes are in photographs or even sketched.
Aim to maintain eye contact with the other person for about 50% of the time while you’re speaking, and for about 70% of the time while you’re listening. Hold your gaze for between 4-5 seconds before you break it again.
3-3. Express interest through body language cues.
In addition to how you stand and sit when you’re on your own, you can communicate by using body language when interacting with others. “Open” body language communicates that you’re available and interested in the other person.
Open body language includes uncrossed arms and legs, smiling, and looking up and around the room.
Once you’ve established contact with someone, communicate your interest in them. For example, leaning in and tilting your head when they talk are ways to show that you’re engaged in the conversation and interested in the other person’s ideas.
Many of these body language cues work to communicate romantic attraction, but they communicate non-romantic interest too.
3-4. Be an active listener.
When you’re listening to someone, show them that you’re engaged in the conversation. Focus on what they’re saying. Look at them while they speak. Nodding, using brief expressions such as “uh huh” or “mm hmm,” and smiling are all ways to show that you’re following the conversation.
Avoid looking over the person’s head or at another area of the room for more than a few seconds. This indicates that you’re bored or not paying attention.
Repeat central ideas, or use them as part of your response. For example, if you’re talking with someone new at a bar who’s been telling you about her fly-fishing hobby, mention that when you respond: “Wow, I’ve never been fly-fishing. The way you describe it makes it sound like it would be fun, though.” This lets the other person know you really were listening, rather than mentally checking your shopping list or something else.
Allow the other person to finish speaking before you respond.
As you listen, don’t be planning your response to give as soon as they’re finished. Focus on the other person’s communication.
3-5. Practice your smile.
People can distinguish a “real” smile from a fake smile. A real smile activates the muscles around your mouth and around your eyes. This is called a “Duchenne” smile.
Duchenne smiles have been shown to lower stress and produce feelings of happiness in the people who are smiling.
Try practicing a Duchenne smile. Imagine a situation in which you want to show a positive emotion, such as joy or love. Practice smiling to communicate that in front of a mirror. Check to see whether your eyes are crinkling at the corners -- a hallmark of the “real” smile.
3-6. Push yourself past your “comfort zone.”
You have a natural zone of “optimal anxiety,” or “productive discomfort,” that’s just outside your normal comfort zone. When you’re in this zone, you’re more productive because you’re willing to take risks, but you’re not so far outside your “safe space” that anxiety shuts you down.
For example, when you start a new job, go on a first date, or start at a new school, you probably try harder at first because the situation is new to you. This increased attention and effort improves your performance.
Take this process slowly. Pushing yourself too far or too fast can actually damage your ability to perform because your anxiety will move past the “optimal” level to “freak-out mode.” Try small steps outside your comfort zone at first. As you become more comfortable with the risks you take to achieve extroversion, you can take bigger ones.
3-7. Recast "failures" as learning experiences.
With risk comes the possibility that the risk won't work out for you as you'd hoped. It can be tempting to view these situations as "failures." The problem with this way of thinking is that it's totalizing. Even in what looks like the worst possible outcome, there's something you can learn from to use the next time around.
Consider how you approached the situation. What did you plan for? Is there anything you didn't plan for? With the benefit of experience now, what do you think you could do differently next time?
What did you do to support your chances of success? For example, if your goal was to "socialize more," consider what actions you took. Did you go to a place where you knew a few people? Did you bring a buddy? Did you look for a place to hang out where you might find others who share interests with you? Did you expect to be a social butterfly immediately, or did you set your initial goals small and achievable? Scaffold for your success next time with the knowledge you have now.
Focus on what you can control. Experiencing failure may make you feel powerless, as though you will never succeed no matter what. While some things are certainly beyond your control, some aren't. Think about what you do have the power to change, and consider how you can work those things to your advantage next time.
You might tie their self-worth directly to your ability to perform. Learn to focus on your effort rather than its outcomes (which you may not be able to control all of the time). Practice self-compassion when you stumble. These techniques can be used as a way to do better next time.
4. Thinking Positively, Effectively, and Confidently
4-1. Challenge your inner critic.
Changing your behaviors is hard, especially when what you’re trying to do doesn’t come naturally. You may hear that little voice that tells you things like “She doesn’t want to be your friend. You have nothing to add to the conversation. Anything you say will be stupid.” These thoughts are based on fear, not fact. Challenge them by reminding yourself that you have thoughts and ideas that others want to hear.
See if you can find evidence for these “scripts” when they run through your mind. For example, if your coworker walks by your desk and doesn’t say hello, your automatic response might be to think, “Wow, she’s really angry with me. I wonder what I did. I knew she didn’t want to be friends with me.”
Challenge that thought by looking for evidence to support it; chances are, you won’t find much. Ask yourself: Has that person told you when they were angry before? If so, they’d probably have told you this time too. Have you actually done something to that person that might upset them? Is it possible they’re just having a bad day?
You may be naturally shy and this might cause you to overestimate how your mistakes appear to others. Keep in mind that as long as you are open, honest, and friendly, most people won’t reject you for an occasional stumble. Beating yourself up over your mistakes can mean your anxiety keeps you from learning and growing.
4-2. Be outgoing on your own terms.
There is nothing wrong with being an introvert and being shy. Decide what you want to change about yourself, but do it for you, not because someone else suggested you should do so.
Think about why being shy bothers you. Maybe it's just something that coming to terms with could solve. Or maybe you just want to be able to get more comfortable with talking with people around you. Being yourself as an introvert is much better than not being you and forcing extroversion.
Think about when you find yourself in situations that rev up your shyness. How does your body respond? What are your inclinations? Figuring out how you operate is the first step to taking charge of your reactions.
4-3. Start when you can.
If you wait until you feel like doing something to do it, the chances are slim that you'll actually make the changes you want to see. You can increase your self-efficacy by acting the way you want to act -- regardless of whether you believe it at first. Your expectations are often enough to make something happen. That is why faking it till you make it works.
4-4. Set realistic goals.
Remember that changing yourself takes time. Set realistic goals for yourself, and don't beat yourself up if you stumble now and then. This is normal.
Decide what challenges you. Realistic goals about being more outgoing might look different for you than for someone else. For example, making eye contact with one person each day might be a big victory for you. Choose goals that are realistic for you.
4-5. Acknowledge that being outgoing is a skill.
Even though it might seem like being outgoing comes easy for some people, that behavior was learned over time and you can learn it too. By setting goals and continuing to work on being more outgoing, you can change how you react to situations and people.
If you know some outgoing people, ask them questions. Were they always that way? Do they ever feel like they have to try to be outgoing? Do they have their own versions of social phobia? The answers will probably be no, yes, and yes. It's just something they've decided to take control of.
4-6. Think of past successes.
When you're at a party, that familiar anxiety might overtake you as you think about interacting with the other people there. You might have some negative thoughts about your ability to successfully interact with other people at the party. In this situation, think about situations where you successfully interact with people and feel comfortable. You're probably outgoing around family and friends, at least sometimes. Carry that success over to this situation.
Thinking of all the times we did what we're currently afraid to do shows us that we are capable and makes us more confident.
Tips
Be aware of your surroundings and live in the moment. If you're not enjoying yourself, nobody else will!
When people are asking you questions about your life, make sure you ask them back about their lives. It's easy to forget about, but it makes conversations go much farther.
Smile as often as you can. When you're by yourself or with other people. It will put you in a better mood and therefore make you more outgoing.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Mastering the Art of Conversation\\n1-1. Start off small.\\nNo matter how obvious it may sound, it's helpful to actually realize that outgoing people didn’t go straight from the womb to parties. They had years of practice in safer environments: speaking to their siblings, joking with their classmates, and so on. You can simulate the natural way of becoming outgoing – by starting off small and proceeding incrementally. What’s a small step you can take today to do something slightly more outgoing than you used to do?\\nStart with people you know, or, if you are starting fresh, find a small group of people that you share an interest with. A book club, sports team or hobby group is a great place to start. Try something new with this group such as participating in a bar crawl or arranging a barbecue and let people bring friends.\\n1-2. Say thank you in public.\\nYou might see some of the same people every day, but never acknowledge them. To become outgoing, it is important to start acknowledging the people around you more often. The next time you order a coffee or check out at the grocery store, smile at the person helping you. Make eye contact and say, \\\"thank you.\\\" This small gesture will help you become more comfortable interacting with others, and it will probably make the other person's day a little brighter.\\nA little compliment can also go a long way, especially in service situations. Remember that your grocery clerk or barista serves hundreds of people a day, many of whom probably either ignore them or are rude. Say something like, \\\"Wow, thanks for getting that to me so quickly\\\" to show your appreciation.\\n1-3. Make eye contact.\\nIf you're in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there. Once you've established eye contact, give the other person a friendly smile. If the other person holds your gaze, then go over to them and introduce yourself. If the person smiles back at you, then that is also a good sign.\\nIf the person does not respond, let them go their way. There's a difference between being \\\"outgoing\\\" and \\\"pushy.\\\" You don't want to force interaction on someone who isn't interested.\\nKeep in mind that this approach doesn't work well in situations where people do not expect to be approached, such as while riding public transit. Part of being outgoing is knowing when and where to approach others and when to keep to yourself.\\n1-4. Introduce yourself.\\nYou don’t have to be a suave charmer to be friendly and outgoing. Maybe try introducing yourself by saying you’re new to the area, or offering a compliment to the other person.\\nLook for other “wallflowers.” You may not be comfortable jumping straight from “shy” to “social butterfly.” If you’re at a social function, try looking for other people who appear to be shy or holding back. Chances are, they feel as uncomfortable as you do. They’ll probably be happy that you made the first move to say “hello.”\\nBe friendly, but not pushy. Once you’ve introduced yourself and asked a question or two, move on if the other person seems disinterested.\\n1-5. Ask open-ended questions.\\nOne way to be more outgoing in your conversations with others is to ask them open-ended questions. These questions invite others to respond with more than a “yes” or “no.” It’s easier to start up a chat with someone new if you invite them to share about themselves. If you've already exchanged eye contact and smiles with someone, and you're close by, start off with a question. Here are some ideas:\\nHow do you like that book/magazine?\\nWhat is your favorite thing to do around here?\\nWhere did you find that awesome T-shirt?\\n1-6. Give compliments\\nIf you're interested in people, you're bound to notice little things that you like or appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a compliment. Just make sure that your compliments are genuine. People can tell when compliments are not sincere. Think of something like:\\nI've read that book. Great choice!\\nI love those shoes. They go great with that skirt.\\nIs that a hazelnut latte? Nice -- that's my go-to every Monday morning.\\n1-7. Search for a common interest.\\nFirst conversations between people are all about what the two parties have in common. In order to find out what you can talk about, you may have to probe for things you have in common. If you work together or have mutual friends or have anything that links you together, it should be a bit easier. Talking about work, your mutual friend, or your common interest will open up further topics of discussion.\\nIf this person is a stranger, you could use the situation to help you come up with something to talk about. For example, if you're in a bookstore, you could ask someone for a favorite reading recommendation. If you're both stuck in a long line, you could make a joke about it.\\nBe careful to avoid comments that sound judgmental. For example, you could say you love the person's haircut and then ask where s/he got it done. Or you could say that you've been looking for a pair of sneakers like the ones the other person's wearing, and ask where s/he got them. Avoid things that are likely to seem offensive, such as comments on the person's size, skin color, or physical attractiveness.\\n1-8. Pay attention to what excites people.\\nIf person A is dead set on talking about thermodynamics and person B is dead set on talking about Italian coffee, then the conversation isn't going to go anywhere. One of these people has to latch on to the other person's interests. Take the initiative and be that person.\\nWhen you're making small talk, try to notice when the other person perks up. You'll be able to hear it and see it. Their face will be more expressive (and so will their voice) and you'll probably see movement in their body.\\n1-9. Know that your flaws can turn into benefits.\\nA common misconception is that people will like you more if you become \\\"better.\\\" A bigger home, a faster car or a well-paid job look like great investments when it comes to making friends. The truth is there is no correlation between success and making real friends. People don’t like hanging out with those they feel subordinate to. Instead of trying to hide or kill your flaws, know that a weak paycheck, a bit of a belly, or spending too many hours watching TV only makes you more human and likable.\\nTake yourself less seriously. You don't have to get people to know about the new sound system you bought or that cool place you went to for a vacation. Instead, you could tell stories about funny shortcomings.\\nYou don't have to stop improving, just do it for yourself instead of others.\\n1-10. Chat up your coworkers.\\nIf you have a job, chances are you have an environment with built-in social contact if you make a little effort. Find a place where people tend to congregate, such as the break room or a coworker’s cubicle.\\nThe water cooler isn’t the place for heated topics, like religion or politics. Instead, try engaging people by remarking on popular culture or sports. While people often have strong opinions about these subjects too, they’re a safer bet to keep it conversation-friendly.\\nBeing outgoing at work can be important. By being more outgoing, people will perceive you as more friendly and positive. Networking and chatting at work can also help you get the recognition at work that you deserve.\\n1-11. End on a high note.\\nLeave the other person wanting more. A good way to accomplish this is by leaving the door open for future interaction. Be gracious in exiting the conversation, so that the other person doesn’t feel as though you’ve ditched them.\\nFor example, if you’ve been talking about your dogs together, ask about a good local dog park. If the other person responds positively, you could invite them to bring their dog to the park too: “Have you ever been to the dog park off Baxter Road? I haven't. What would you think of going together next Saturday?” Making a specific invitation is more effective than “let’s get together sometime” because it shows that you’re not just being polite.\\nOnce you’ve finished the conversation, wrap up by restating a main point you discussed. This will help the other person feel like you were listening to them. For example: “Good luck with that marathon on Sunday! I’d love to hear all about it next week.”\\nEnd by affirming that you enjoyed the conversation. “It was really nice talking with you” or “It was so nice to meet you” help the other person feel valued.\\n1-12. Talk to anyone and everyone\\nAfter you become a bit more comfortable talking to people you know, try talking to new people as you go through your day. At first you might feel uncomfortable talking with people you don’t know and who you might not normally approach. But the more you approach people and get comfortable with making conversation, the easier it will become.\\n2. Getting Out There\\n2-1. Set specific, reasonable goals.\\nBeing outgoing is a tough goal to reach because it includes a lot of small behaviors. That is why it is a good idea to break this large goal down into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to be outgoing, set goals to have at least one conversation with a new person each day or to smile at five people every day.\\nTry to make small talk (or if that's too much, just smiling) with one stranger or acquaintance every day, say \\\"hi\\\" to someone on the street, or ask your barista’s name. These little victories will keep you going and make you feel ready for loftier challenges.\\n2-2. Join a club.\\nIf you aren’t sure how to approach others in social settings, try joining a club for a particular interest. This gives you the opportunity to interact, usually in small-scale settings, with others who share an interest of yours.\\nLook for a club that encourages socializing, such as a book club or cooking class. You can ask questions and get into discussions, but the focus won’t be entirely on you. These situations can be great for shy people.\\nShared experiences can be a powerful bonding technique. Joining a club where you’ll share experiences with others gives you a head start -- you’ll already have common ground established.\\n2-3. Invite people over.\\nYou don’t even have to leave your house to be outgoing. Invite people to come over for a movie night or dinner party. If you’re welcoming and inviting, others will be more likely to feel as though you value them (and they’re more likely to have fun).\\nTry creating events that will foster conversation. You could host a BYOB wine tasting, where everyone has to sip and compare notes. Or, you could hold a potluck dinner, where everyone has to bring their favorite dish of their grandmother’s (and a copy of the recipe). Having a reason to talk with each other helps a party stay lively and enjoyable (and, let’s be honest, food and wine never hurt).\\n2-4. Master a hobby.\\nA hobby can help you feel more in control, which may help you to be more outgoing. If you master a hobby, then you may feel proud and confident as well, which can give you even more social confidence.\\nHobbies also give you something to chat about with new acquaintances. They often give you a way to meet new people. And they have health benefits, such as a lower risk of depression.\\n2-5. Dress for success.\\nThe way that you dress affects the way that you feel about yourself. Dressing in a way that expresses your personality and values can help you feel confident, and that will help you be more outgoing.\\nIf you’re a little nervous about socializing, wear something that makes you feel powerful and attractive. This will help you to carry that confidence into your interactions.\\nClothes can also be great conversation-starters. Wearing a fun tie or a statement bracelet can be a way for others to break the ice with you. You can also compliment something someone else is wearing as a way to get acquainted.\\nBe careful not to let judgments slip into these compliments, such as \\\"That dress makes you look so thin!\\\" That type of comment focuses on social standards of beauty rather than the person you're talking with. Instead, try something positive but nonjudgmental like \\\"I love the design of that tie, it's so intricate\\\" or \\\"I've been looking for a pair of shoes like that, where did you get them?\\\"\\n2-6. Work on your existing friendships.\\nMake sure to improve friendships with existing friends and the people you meet. Not only will you be more connected, but you'll be growing and gaining new experiences to share with both these groups of people.\\nOld friends are good practice. They can introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you would never go alone. Don't ignore them! They're probably going through similar things, too.\\n2-7. Introduce people to each other\\nPart of being outgoing is helping others feel comfortable. As you become more comfortable introducing yourself, spread the love by introducing other people to each other.\\nIntroducing people to each other helps ease social awkwardness. Think about what you know about each person -- what do they have in common? When you're talking to Janice from the yarn shop, take a moment to call out, \\\"Hey, Steve! This is Janice. We were just talking about that new band at the Factory last night. What'd you think?\\\"\\n3. Communicating With Your Body\\n3-1. Examine your body language.\\nYour nonverbal communication, such as body language and eye contact, can say as much about you as your actual words. The way that you hold your body sends messages about you to others. People judge others as attractive, likeable, competent, trustworthy, or aggressive in a fraction of a second, so you may have only 1/10 of a second to make a first impression.\\nFor example, making yourself “smaller” by crossing your legs, hunching, holding your arms, etc., communicates that you are not comfortable in a situation. It can send a message that you don’t want to interact with others.\\nOn the other hand, you can express confidence and power by opening yourself up. You don’t have to take more room than you need or intrude on others’ space, but establish space for yourself. Plant your feet firmly when you stand or sit. Stand with your chest out and shoulders back. Avoid fidgeting, pointing, or shifting your weight.\\nYour body language also affects how you feel about yourself. People who use “low power” body language, such as making yourself smaller or closing yourself off by crossing your legs or arms, actually experience increased cortisol, a stress hormone related to feelings of insecurity.\\n3-2. Make eye contact.\\nYou can be more outgoing just by making eye contact with others. For example, if you look directly at a person, this is commonly interpreted as an invitation. The other person returning your gaze acts as an acceptance of that invitation.\\nPeople who make eye contact while speaking are often considered more friendly, open, and believable. Extroverts and socially confident people look more often, and for longer, at people they are speaking or interacting with.\\nEye contact produces a feeling of connection between people, even when the eyes are in photographs or even sketched.\\nAim to maintain eye contact with the other person for about 50% of the time while you’re speaking, and for about 70% of the time while you’re listening. Hold your gaze for between 4-5 seconds before you break it again.\\n3-3. Express interest through body language cues.\\nIn addition to how you stand and sit when you’re on your own, you can communicate by using body language when interacting with others. “Open” body language communicates that you’re available and interested in the other person.\\nOpen body language includes uncrossed arms and legs, smiling, and looking up and around the room.\\nOnce you’ve established contact with someone, communicate your interest in them. For example, leaning in and tilting your head when they talk are ways to show that you’re engaged in the conversation and interested in the other person’s ideas.\\nMany of these body language cues work to communicate romantic attraction, but they communicate non-romantic interest too.\\n3-4. Be an active listener.\\nWhen you’re listening to someone, show them that you’re engaged in the conversation. Focus on what they’re saying. Look at them while they speak. Nodding, using brief expressions such as “uh huh” or “mm hmm,” and smiling are all ways to show that you’re following the conversation.\\nAvoid looking over the person’s head or at another area of the room for more than a few seconds. This indicates that you’re bored or not paying attention.\\nRepeat central ideas, or use them as part of your response. For example, if you’re talking with someone new at a bar who’s been telling you about her fly-fishing hobby, mention that when you respond: “Wow, I’ve never been fly-fishing. The way you describe it makes it sound like it would be fun, though.” This lets the other person know you really were listening, rather than mentally checking your shopping list or something else.\\nAllow the other person to finish speaking before you respond.\\nAs you listen, don’t be planning your response to give as soon as they’re finished. Focus on the other person’s communication.\\n3-5. Practice your smile.\\nPeople can distinguish a “real” smile from a fake smile. A real smile activates the muscles around your mouth and around your eyes. This is called a “Duchenne” smile.\\nDuchenne smiles have been shown to lower stress and produce feelings of happiness in the people who are smiling.\\nTry practicing a Duchenne smile. Imagine a situation in which you want to show a positive emotion, such as joy or love. Practice smiling to communicate that in front of a mirror. Check to see whether your eyes are crinkling at the corners -- a hallmark of the “real” smile.\\n3-6. Push yourself past your “comfort zone.”\\nYou have a natural zone of “optimal anxiety,” or “productive discomfort,” that’s just outside your normal comfort zone. When you’re in this zone, you’re more productive because you’re willing to take risks, but you’re not so far outside your “safe space” that anxiety shuts you down. \\nFor example, when you start a new job, go on a first date, or start at a new school, you probably try harder at first because the situation is new to you. This increased attention and effort improves your performance.\\nTake this process slowly. Pushing yourself too far or too fast can actually damage your ability to perform because your anxiety will move past the “optimal” level to “freak-out mode.” Try small steps outside your comfort zone at first. As you become more comfortable with the risks you take to achieve extroversion, you can take bigger ones.\\n3-7. Recast \\\"failures\\\" as learning experiences.\\nWith risk comes the possibility that the risk won't work out for you as you'd hoped. It can be tempting to view these situations as \\\"failures.\\\" The problem with this way of thinking is that it's totalizing. Even in what looks like the worst possible outcome, there's something you can learn from to use the next time around.\\nConsider how you approached the situation. What did you plan for? Is there anything you didn't plan for? With the benefit of experience now, what do you think you could do differently next time?\\nWhat did you do to support your chances of success? For example, if your goal was to \\\"socialize more,\\\" consider what actions you took. Did you go to a place where you knew a few people? Did you bring a buddy? Did you look for a place to hang out where you might find others who share interests with you? Did you expect to be a social butterfly immediately, or did you set your initial goals small and achievable? Scaffold for your success next time with the knowledge you have now.\\nFocus on what you can control. Experiencing failure may make you feel powerless, as though you will never succeed no matter what. While some things are certainly beyond your control, some aren't. Think about what you do have the power to change, and consider how you can work those things to your advantage next time.\\nYou might tie their self-worth directly to your ability to perform. Learn to focus on your effort rather than its outcomes (which you may not be able to control all of the time). Practice self-compassion when you stumble. These techniques can be used as a way to do better next time.\\n4. Thinking Positively, Effectively, and Confidently\\n4-1. Challenge your inner critic.\\nChanging your behaviors is hard, especially when what you’re trying to do doesn’t come naturally. You may hear that little voice that tells you things like “She doesn’t want to be your friend. You have nothing to add to the conversation. Anything you say will be stupid.” These thoughts are based on fear, not fact. Challenge them by reminding yourself that you have thoughts and ideas that others want to hear.\\nSee if you can find evidence for these “scripts” when they run through your mind. For example, if your coworker walks by your desk and doesn’t say hello, your automatic response might be to think, “Wow, she’s really angry with me. I wonder what I did. I knew she didn’t want to be friends with me.”\\nChallenge that thought by looking for evidence to support it; chances are, you won’t find much. Ask yourself: Has that person told you when they were angry before? If so, they’d probably have told you this time too. Have you actually done something to that person that might upset them? Is it possible they’re just having a bad day?\\nYou may be naturally shy and this might cause you to overestimate how your mistakes appear to others. Keep in mind that as long as you are open, honest, and friendly, most people won’t reject you for an occasional stumble. Beating yourself up over your mistakes can mean your anxiety keeps you from learning and growing.\\n4-2. Be outgoing on your own terms.\\nThere is nothing wrong with being an introvert and being shy. Decide what you want to change about yourself, but do it for you, not because someone else suggested you should do so.\\nThink about why being shy bothers you. Maybe it's just something that coming to terms with could solve. Or maybe you just want to be able to get more comfortable with talking with people around you. Being yourself as an introvert is much better than not being you and forcing extroversion.\\nThink about when you find yourself in situations that rev up your shyness. How does your body respond? What are your inclinations? Figuring out how you operate is the first step to taking charge of your reactions.\\n4-3. Start when you can.\\nIf you wait until you feel like doing something to do it, the chances are slim that you'll actually make the changes you want to see. You can increase your self-efficacy by acting the way you want to act -- regardless of whether you believe it at first. Your expectations are often enough to make something happen. That is why faking it till you make it works.\\n4-4. Set realistic goals.\\nRemember that changing yourself takes time. Set realistic goals for yourself, and don't beat yourself up if you stumble now and then. This is normal.\\nDecide what challenges you. Realistic goals about being more outgoing might look different for you than for someone else. For example, making eye contact with one person each day might be a big victory for you. Choose goals that are realistic for you.\\n4-5. Acknowledge that being outgoing is a skill.\\nEven though it might seem like being outgoing comes easy for some people, that behavior was learned over time and you can learn it too. By setting goals and continuing to work on being more outgoing, you can change how you react to situations and people.\\nIf you know some outgoing people, ask them questions. Were they always that way? Do they ever feel like they have to try to be outgoing? Do they have their own versions of social phobia? The answers will probably be no, yes, and yes. It's just something they've decided to take control of.\\n4-6. Think of past successes.\\nWhen you're at a party, that familiar anxiety might overtake you as you think about interacting with the other people there. You might have some negative thoughts about your ability to successfully interact with other people at the party. In this situation, think about situations where you successfully interact with people and feel comfortable. You're probably outgoing around family and friends, at least sometimes. Carry that success over to this situation.\\nThinking of all the times we did what we're currently afraid to do shows us that we are capable and makes us more confident.\\nTips\\nBe aware of your surroundings and live in the moment. If you're not enjoying yourself, nobody else will!\\nWhen people are asking you questions about your life, make sure you ask them back about their lives. It's easy to forget about, but it makes conversations go much farther.\\nSmile as often as you can. When you're by yourself or with other people. It will put you in a better mood and therefore make you more outgoing.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some people are naturally outgoing, but other people have to practice to become outgoing. If you want to become outgoing, there are several strategies that you can use. Being “outgoing” involves learning how to present yourself to others, striking up conversations, and being more confident in yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mastering the Art of Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start off small.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how obvious it may sound, it's helpful to actually realize that outgoing people didn’t go straight from the womb to parties. They had years of practice in safer environments: speaking to their siblings, joking with their classmates, and so on. You can simulate the natural way of becoming outgoing – by starting off small and proceeding incrementally. What’s a small step you can take today to do something slightly more outgoing than you used to do?\\nStart with people you know, or, if you are starting fresh, find a small group of people that you share an interest with. A book club, sports team or hobby group is a great place to start. Try something new with this group such as participating in a bar crawl or arranging a barbecue and let people bring friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say thank you in public.\", \"描述\": \"You might see some of the same people every day, but never acknowledge them. To become outgoing, it is important to start acknowledging the people around you more often. The next time you order a coffee or check out at the grocery store, smile at the person helping you. Make eye contact and say, \\\"thank you.\\\" This small gesture will help you become more comfortable interacting with others, and it will probably make the other person's day a little brighter.\\nA little compliment can also go a long way, especially in service situations. Remember that your grocery clerk or barista serves hundreds of people a day, many of whom probably either ignore them or are rude. Say something like, \\\"Wow, thanks for getting that to me so quickly\\\" to show your appreciation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"If you're in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there. Once you've established eye contact, give the other person a friendly smile. If the other person holds your gaze, then go over to them and introduce yourself. If the person smiles back at you, then that is also a good sign.\\nIf the person does not respond, let them go their way. There's a difference between being \\\"outgoing\\\" and \\\"pushy.\\\" You don't want to force interaction on someone who isn't interested.\\nKeep in mind that this approach doesn't work well in situations where people do not expect to be approached, such as while riding public transit. Part of being outgoing is knowing when and where to approach others and when to keep to yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be a suave charmer to be friendly and outgoing. Maybe try introducing yourself by saying you’re new to the area, or offering a compliment to the other person.\\nLook for other “wallflowers.” You may not be comfortable jumping straight from “shy” to “social butterfly.” If you’re at a social function, try looking for other people who appear to be shy or holding back. Chances are, they feel as uncomfortable as you do. They’ll probably be happy that you made the first move to say “hello.”\\nBe friendly, but not pushy. Once you’ve introduced yourself and asked a question or two, move on if the other person seems disinterested.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask open-ended questions.\", \"描述\": \"One way to be more outgoing in your conversations with others is to ask them open-ended questions. These questions invite others to respond with more than a “yes” or “no.” It’s easier to start up a chat with someone new if you invite them to share about themselves. If you've already exchanged eye contact and smiles with someone, and you're close by, start off with a question. Here are some ideas:\\nHow do you like that book/magazine?\\nWhat is your favorite thing to do around here?\\nWhere did you find that awesome T-shirt?\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give compliments\", \"描述\": \"If you're interested in people, you're bound to notice little things that you like or appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a compliment. Just make sure that your compliments are genuine. People can tell when compliments are not sincere. Think of something like:\\nI've read that book. Great choice!\\nI love those shoes. They go great with that skirt.\\nIs that a hazelnut latte? Nice -- that's my go-to every Monday morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Search for a common interest.\", \"描述\": \"First conversations between people are all about what the two parties have in common. In order to find out what you can talk about, you may have to probe for things you have in common. If you work together or have mutual friends or have anything that links you together, it should be a bit easier. Talking about work, your mutual friend, or your common interest will open up further topics of discussion.\\nIf this person is a stranger, you could use the situation to help you come up with something to talk about. For example, if you're in a bookstore, you could ask someone for a favorite reading recommendation. If you're both stuck in a long line, you could make a joke about it.\\nBe careful to avoid comments that sound judgmental. For example, you could say you love the person's haircut and then ask where s/he got it done. Or you could say that you've been looking for a pair of sneakers like the ones the other person's wearing, and ask where s/he got them. Avoid things that are likely to seem offensive, such as comments on the person's size, skin color, or physical attractiveness.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to what excites people.\", \"描述\": \"If person A is dead set on talking about thermodynamics and person B is dead set on talking about Italian coffee, then the conversation isn't going to go anywhere. One of these people has to latch on to the other person's interests. Take the initiative and be that person.\\nWhen you're making small talk, try to notice when the other person perks up. You'll be able to hear it and see it. Their face will be more expressive (and so will their voice) and you'll probably see movement in their body.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Know that your flaws can turn into benefits.\", \"描述\": \"A common misconception is that people will like you more if you become \\\"better.\\\" A bigger home, a faster car or a well-paid job look like great investments when it comes to making friends. The truth is there is no correlation between success and making real friends. People don’t like hanging out with those they feel subordinate to. Instead of trying to hide or kill your flaws, know that a weak paycheck, a bit of a belly, or spending too many hours watching TV only makes you more human and likable.\\nTake yourself less seriously. You don't have to get people to know about the new sound system you bought or that cool place you went to for a vacation. Instead, you could tell stories about funny shortcomings.\\nYou don't have to stop improving, just do it for yourself instead of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Chat up your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a job, chances are you have an environment with built-in social contact if you make a little effort. Find a place where people tend to congregate, such as the break room or a coworker’s cubicle.\\nThe water cooler isn’t the place for heated topics, like religion or politics. Instead, try engaging people by remarking on popular culture or sports. While people often have strong opinions about these subjects too, they’re a safer bet to keep it conversation-friendly.\\nBeing outgoing at work can be important. By being more outgoing, people will perceive you as more friendly and positive. Networking and chatting at work can also help you get the recognition at work that you deserve.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"End on a high note.\", \"描述\": \"Leave the other person wanting more. A good way to accomplish this is by leaving the door open for future interaction. Be gracious in exiting the conversation, so that the other person doesn’t feel as though you’ve ditched them.\\nFor example, if you’ve been talking about your dogs together, ask about a good local dog park. If the other person responds positively, you could invite them to bring their dog to the park too: “Have you ever been to the dog park off Baxter Road? I haven't. What would you think of going together next Saturday?” Making a specific invitation is more effective than “let’s get together sometime” because it shows that you’re not just being polite.\\nOnce you’ve finished the conversation, wrap up by restating a main point you discussed. This will help the other person feel like you were listening to them. For example: “Good luck with that marathon on Sunday! I’d love to hear all about it next week.”\\nEnd by affirming that you enjoyed the conversation. “It was really nice talking with you” or “It was so nice to meet you” help the other person feel valued.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Talk to anyone and everyone\", \"描述\": \"After you become a bit more comfortable talking to people you know, try talking to new people as you go through your day. At first you might feel uncomfortable talking with people you don’t know and who you might not normally approach. But the more you approach people and get comfortable with making conversation, the easier it will become.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Out There\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set specific, reasonable goals.\", \"描述\": \"Being outgoing is a tough goal to reach because it includes a lot of small behaviors. That is why it is a good idea to break this large goal down into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to be outgoing, set goals to have at least one conversation with a new person each day or to smile at five people every day.\\nTry to make small talk (or if that's too much, just smiling) with one stranger or acquaintance every day, say \\\"hi\\\" to someone on the street, or ask your barista’s name. These little victories will keep you going and make you feel ready for loftier challenges.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a club.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t sure how to approach others in social settings, try joining a club for a particular interest. This gives you the opportunity to interact, usually in small-scale settings, with others who share an interest of yours.\\nLook for a club that encourages socializing, such as a book club or cooking class. You can ask questions and get into discussions, but the focus won’t be entirely on you. These situations can be great for shy people.\\nShared experiences can be a powerful bonding technique. Joining a club where you’ll share experiences with others gives you a head start -- you’ll already have common ground established.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Invite people over.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t even have to leave your house to be outgoing. Invite people to come over for a movie night or dinner party. If you’re welcoming and inviting, others will be more likely to feel as though you value them (and they’re more likely to have fun).\\nTry creating events that will foster conversation. You could host a BYOB wine tasting, where everyone has to sip and compare notes. Or, you could hold a potluck dinner, where everyone has to bring their favorite dish of their grandmother’s (and a copy of the recipe). Having a reason to talk with each other helps a party stay lively and enjoyable (and, let’s be honest, food and wine never hurt).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Master a hobby.\", \"描述\": \"A hobby can help you feel more in control, which may help you to be more outgoing. If you master a hobby, then you may feel proud and confident as well, which can give you even more social confidence.\\nHobbies also give you something to chat about with new acquaintances. They often give you a way to meet new people. And they have health benefits, such as a lower risk of depression.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dress for success.\", \"描述\": \"The way that you dress affects the way that you feel about yourself. Dressing in a way that expresses your personality and values can help you feel confident, and that will help you be more outgoing.\\nIf you’re a little nervous about socializing, wear something that makes you feel powerful and attractive. This will help you to carry that confidence into your interactions.\\nClothes can also be great conversation-starters. Wearing a fun tie or a statement bracelet can be a way for others to break the ice with you. You can also compliment something someone else is wearing as a way to get acquainted.\\nBe careful not to let judgments slip into these compliments, such as \\\"That dress makes you look so thin!\\\" That type of comment focuses on social standards of beauty rather than the person you're talking with. Instead, try something positive but nonjudgmental like \\\"I love the design of that tie, it's so intricate\\\" or \\\"I've been looking for a pair of shoes like that, where did you get them?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Work on your existing friendships.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure to improve friendships with existing friends and the people you meet. Not only will you be more connected, but you'll be growing and gaining new experiences to share with both these groups of people.\\nOld friends are good practice. They can introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you would never go alone. Don't ignore them! They're probably going through similar things, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Introduce people to each other\", \"描述\": \"Part of being outgoing is helping others feel comfortable. As you become more comfortable introducing yourself, spread the love by introducing other people to each other.\\nIntroducing people to each other helps ease social awkwardness. Think about what you know about each person -- what do they have in common? When you're talking to Janice from the yarn shop, take a moment to call out, \\\"Hey, Steve! This is Janice. We were just talking about that new band at the Factory last night. What'd you think?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicating With Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Examine your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Your nonverbal communication, such as body language and eye contact, can say as much about you as your actual words. The way that you hold your body sends messages about you to others. People judge others as attractive, likeable, competent, trustworthy, or aggressive in a fraction of a second, so you may have only 1/10 of a second to make a first impression.\\nFor example, making yourself “smaller” by crossing your legs, hunching, holding your arms, etc., communicates that you are not comfortable in a situation. It can send a message that you don’t want to interact with others.\\nOn the other hand, you can express confidence and power by opening yourself up. You don’t have to take more room than you need or intrude on others’ space, but establish space for yourself. Plant your feet firmly when you stand or sit. Stand with your chest out and shoulders back. Avoid fidgeting, pointing, or shifting your weight.\\nYour body language also affects how you feel about yourself. People who use “low power” body language, such as making yourself smaller or closing yourself off by crossing your legs or arms, actually experience increased cortisol, a stress hormone related to feelings of insecurity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"You can be more outgoing just by making eye contact with others. For example, if you look directly at a person, this is commonly interpreted as an invitation. The other person returning your gaze acts as an acceptance of that invitation.\\nPeople who make eye contact while speaking are often considered more friendly, open, and believable. Extroverts and socially confident people look more often, and for longer, at people they are speaking or interacting with.\\nEye contact produces a feeling of connection between people, even when the eyes are in photographs or even sketched.\\nAim to maintain eye contact with the other person for about 50% of the time while you’re speaking, and for about 70% of the time while you’re listening. Hold your gaze for between 4-5 seconds before you break it again.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express interest through body language cues.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to how you stand and sit when you’re on your own, you can communicate by using body language when interacting with others. “Open” body language communicates that you’re available and interested in the other person.\\nOpen body language includes uncrossed arms and legs, smiling, and looking up and around the room.\\nOnce you’ve established contact with someone, communicate your interest in them. For example, leaning in and tilting your head when they talk are ways to show that you’re engaged in the conversation and interested in the other person’s ideas.\\nMany of these body language cues work to communicate romantic attraction, but they communicate non-romantic interest too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be an active listener.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re listening to someone, show them that you’re engaged in the conversation. Focus on what they’re saying. Look at them while they speak. Nodding, using brief expressions such as “uh huh” or “mm hmm,” and smiling are all ways to show that you’re following the conversation.\\nAvoid looking over the person’s head or at another area of the room for more than a few seconds. This indicates that you’re bored or not paying attention.\\nRepeat central ideas, or use them as part of your response. For example, if you’re talking with someone new at a bar who’s been telling you about her fly-fishing hobby, mention that when you respond: “Wow, I’ve never been fly-fishing. The way you describe it makes it sound like it would be fun, though.” This lets the other person know you really were listening, rather than mentally checking your shopping list or something else.\\nAllow the other person to finish speaking before you respond.\\nAs you listen, don’t be planning your response to give as soon as they’re finished. Focus on the other person’s communication.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice your smile.\", \"描述\": \"People can distinguish a “real” smile from a fake smile. A real smile activates the muscles around your mouth and around your eyes. This is called a “Duchenne” smile.\\nDuchenne smiles have been shown to lower stress and produce feelings of happiness in the people who are smiling.\\nTry practicing a Duchenne smile. Imagine a situation in which you want to show a positive emotion, such as joy or love. Practice smiling to communicate that in front of a mirror. Check to see whether your eyes are crinkling at the corners -- a hallmark of the “real” smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Push yourself past your “comfort zone.”\", \"描述\": \"You have a natural zone of “optimal anxiety,” or “productive discomfort,” that’s just outside your normal comfort zone. When you’re in this zone, you’re more productive because you’re willing to take risks, but you’re not so far outside your “safe space” that anxiety shuts you down. \\nFor example, when you start a new job, go on a first date, or start at a new school, you probably try harder at first because the situation is new to you. This increased attention and effort improves your performance.\\nTake this process slowly. Pushing yourself too far or too fast can actually damage your ability to perform because your anxiety will move past the “optimal” level to “freak-out mode.” Try small steps outside your comfort zone at first. As you become more comfortable with the risks you take to achieve extroversion, you can take bigger ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Recast \\\"failures\\\" as learning experiences.\", \"描述\": \"With risk comes the possibility that the risk won't work out for you as you'd hoped. It can be tempting to view these situations as \\\"failures.\\\" The problem with this way of thinking is that it's totalizing. Even in what looks like the worst possible outcome, there's something you can learn from to use the next time around.\\nConsider how you approached the situation. What did you plan for? Is there anything you didn't plan for? With the benefit of experience now, what do you think you could do differently next time?\\nWhat did you do to support your chances of success? For example, if your goal was to \\\"socialize more,\\\" consider what actions you took. Did you go to a place where you knew a few people? Did you bring a buddy? Did you look for a place to hang out where you might find others who share interests with you? Did you expect to be a social butterfly immediately, or did you set your initial goals small and achievable? Scaffold for your success next time with the knowledge you have now.\\nFocus on what you can control. Experiencing failure may make you feel powerless, as though you will never succeed no matter what. While some things are certainly beyond your control, some aren't. Think about what you do have the power to change, and consider how you can work those things to your advantage next time.\\nYou might tie their self-worth directly to your ability to perform. Learn to focus on your effort rather than its outcomes (which you may not be able to control all of the time). Practice self-compassion when you stumble. These techniques can be used as a way to do better next time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Thinking Positively, Effectively, and Confidently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Challenge your inner critic.\", \"描述\": \"Changing your behaviors is hard, especially when what you’re trying to do doesn’t come naturally. You may hear that little voice that tells you things like “She doesn’t want to be your friend. You have nothing to add to the conversation. Anything you say will be stupid.” These thoughts are based on fear, not fact. Challenge them by reminding yourself that you have thoughts and ideas that others want to hear.\\nSee if you can find evidence for these “scripts” when they run through your mind. For example, if your coworker walks by your desk and doesn’t say hello, your automatic response might be to think, “Wow, she’s really angry with me. I wonder what I did. I knew she didn’t want to be friends with me.”\\nChallenge that thought by looking for evidence to support it; chances are, you won’t find much. Ask yourself: Has that person told you when they were angry before? If so, they’d probably have told you this time too. Have you actually done something to that person that might upset them? Is it possible they’re just having a bad day?\\nYou may be naturally shy and this might cause you to overestimate how your mistakes appear to others. Keep in mind that as long as you are open, honest, and friendly, most people won’t reject you for an occasional stumble. Beating yourself up over your mistakes can mean your anxiety keeps you from learning and growing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be outgoing on your own terms.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing wrong with being an introvert and being shy. Decide what you want to change about yourself, but do it for you, not because someone else suggested you should do so.\\nThink about why being shy bothers you. Maybe it's just something that coming to terms with could solve. Or maybe you just want to be able to get more comfortable with talking with people around you. Being yourself as an introvert is much better than not being you and forcing extroversion.\\nThink about when you find yourself in situations that rev up your shyness. How does your body respond? What are your inclinations? Figuring out how you operate is the first step to taking charge of your reactions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start when you can.\", \"描述\": \"If you wait until you feel like doing something to do it, the chances are slim that you'll actually make the changes you want to see. You can increase your self-efficacy by acting the way you want to act -- regardless of whether you believe it at first. Your expectations are often enough to make something happen. That is why faking it till you make it works.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set realistic goals.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that changing yourself takes time. Set realistic goals for yourself, and don't beat yourself up if you stumble now and then. This is normal.\\nDecide what challenges you. Realistic goals about being more outgoing might look different for you than for someone else. For example, making eye contact with one person each day might be a big victory for you. Choose goals that are realistic for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge that being outgoing is a skill.\", \"描述\": \"Even though it might seem like being outgoing comes easy for some people, that behavior was learned over time and you can learn it too. By setting goals and continuing to work on being more outgoing, you can change how you react to situations and people.\\nIf you know some outgoing people, ask them questions. Were they always that way? Do they ever feel like they have to try to be outgoing? Do they have their own versions of social phobia? The answers will probably be no, yes, and yes. It's just something they've decided to take control of.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think of past successes.\", \"描述\": \"When you're at a party, that familiar anxiety might overtake you as you think about interacting with the other people there. You might have some negative thoughts about your ability to successfully interact with other people at the party. In this situation, think about situations where you successfully interact with people and feel comfortable. You're probably outgoing around family and friends, at least sometimes. Carry that success over to this situation.\\nThinking of all the times we did what we're currently afraid to do shows us that we are capable and makes us more confident.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be aware of your surroundings and live in the moment. If you're not enjoying yourself, nobody else will!\\n\", \"When people are asking you questions about your life, make sure you ask them back about their lives. It's easy to forget about, but it makes conversations go much farther.\\n\", \"Smile as often as you can. When you're by yourself or with other people. It will put you in a better mood and therefore make you more outgoing.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.