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4,015 | How to Be Outgoing in High School | 1. Getting Involved in School
1-1. Volunteer as the leader for group projects.
This will give you a good reason to speak up, and give you plenty of things to say. Being a leader in a small group also makes you look more confident to your peers. Take charge and show initiative.
1-2. Raise your hand in class.
One way to challenge yourself to be more outgoing is by trying to answer one of your teacher's questions every week or every day or every class period. Answering questions in class gives you the opportunity to practice being more outgoing, and it gives you a captive audience of your peers. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to perform. Just keep trying.
1-3. Join a club.
This is an opportunity to talk with people about a shared interest. This can make it much easier to be outgoing because you know you have a common language with this group. Additionally, clubs and extracurricular activities typically have meetings with agendas. That gives you even more opportunity to prepare what you may want to say in advance.
If you particularly enjoy one of your subjects, there may be an academic club you can join to learn more and engage with other students who also enjoy the topic.
1-4. Participate in theater productions.
School theatre is a great opportunity to be more outgoing. Audition for a show. You'll meet lots of new people, and even if you're not cast in the school play, you'll have the opportunity to perform confidently in front of others.
1-5. Play a team sport.
While you may not get a lot of opportunities to talk with other people, but working with other players helps you build confidence and trust with your peers. Playing a sport you enjoy, even if you're not great at it, is just one more way to meet new people who have shared interests. Many student athletes build life-long friendships with their teammates.
1-6. Go to an open mic night or poetry slam.
If your school hosts these, this can be a great opportunity to try being outgoing in front of a group of strangers, and if you fail, this is a low stakes situation because you never have to see these people again. Sing a song, read a poem, tell a joke. Get outside your comfort zone.
You don't even need to perform. You can just attend the show and talk to the performers and other audience members.
2. Talking to New People
2-1. Smile at one new person.
People are more likely to approach or speak with a stranger who is smiling. Sharing a smile makes you appear happy and approachable. Smiling also boosts your own level of contentment, and in most cases, happier people are much more confident. Set a goal to smile at someone and say hello every day. You may not always get a response, but the act of repeatedly smiling and greeting new people will make you seem and feel more outgoing.
2-2. Discuss shared experiences.
If you have a class with someone else, see each other at a movie over the weekend, or are both in the school band, these are all great starting points for a conversation. Approach people and casually bring up your shared interest, even if you have to practice being casual.
For instance, you might say, “I did not feel great about that test in chemistry. How do you think you did?”
You could ask something like, “Did you enjoy that movie last weekend?”
Try complimenting them by saying, “You did great on that solo in band."
2-3. Talk to someone during every social event.
Even if it's simply to go up and say hi, force yourself to talk to at least one person during any social engagement. This can mean chatting with someone at a party, a meeting of an extracurricular group, or simply in between class periods. Prepare a list of topics ahead of time, because if you're afraid you might say the wrong thing, this is a great way to feel more confident. The list can include anything that may be interesting at the social event in question. For example, “What team are you rooting for?” Is a great opening line at a Friday night football game.
Talk to people who seem shy. This can help you both feel more confident and comfortable because you might both be in the same boat.
Just say hi! You have to start somewhere, and a simple hello is just fine.
2-4. Talk to friends of friends.
This is likely a more comfortable situation, and it will be easier for you to approach them because you have a friend in common.
Start with something like, "You're a friend of Brenda's right? I'm Sam. Brenda and I go to school together. We met at her birthday." This takes all the pressure off the other person to remember who you are, and starts the conversation off.
If you don't already know from previous encounters, ask, "How did you meet Brenda?"
If you haven't seen your mutual friend lately, you can ask after them. Say something like, "How has Brenda been?"
2-5. Join a pre-existing conversation.
Don't feel pressured to always create the conversation. If a group of people are already talking, join in the chat. This can be as simple as saying, “Oh, I saw that movie too. What did you think of the ending?” Just walk up and join in the conversation. Remember your opinions are valid, and people will enjoy hearing them.
If the group of students you're joining is in another social group than the one you usually hang out with, don't let that intimidate you. Remember that the worst case scenario is you don't make new friends, and if the group of students doesn't like you, you can always try talking to a different group of people.
2-6. Remember the things people tell you.
This will make you feel more comfortable when approaching them, and take the focus off of you, if you're feeling shy. Plus, this assures the person you're talking to that you care about them, since you made an effort to remember what's going on in their life.
If someone mentions they're going to see family out of state this weekend, ask them about it on Monday.
If a friend was nervous about a math test last week, follow up to see how they did.
Remember people's birthdays and wish them well on that day.
3. Asking Others for Help and Advice
3-1. Ask friends or family members for tips.
They can review your behavior by directly observing how you act or by you telling your peer or family member about an incident where you felt very shy. Most people will be happy to help you with this and give you tips, but try to find someone who is outgoing and confident in the ways you would like to be.
Ask them, “What would you have done in my situation?”
Request feedback on how you can be more approachable or personable the next time you're in a similar situation.
Remind your friend or family member to offer constructive (helpful) feedback, not just criticism of your behaviors.
3-2. Mimic outgoing behaviors you admire.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't be yourself or be confident in who you are. Instead, this is a way to learn outgoing behaviors by acting like a person who is already outgoing and confident. This is also a good way to reduce stress related to trying something new because you've already seen that these behaviors are effective.
Think of someone whose personality you admire - it could be your friend, it could be a family member, it could even be a celebrity. Then, watch them as they engage with other people. Pick up on their body language as well as their verbal cues. They might compliment others or give lots of hugs. Next time you're in a social situation, try to mimic one or two of their outgoing behaviors.
3-3. Role play with friends or family.
If you know you're going to a party, meeting, or other event soon, practice. Ask a friend or family member to act like a stranger or acquaintance you may interact with at the event. Approach them and try a variety of greetings, conversation starters, and other interactions. The more times you do something, the more natural it feels.
You could say, "I'm going to a party and want to seem very outgoing. Can you do a little role play with me to see how I might interact with others to seem outgoing?"
3-4. Take a confidence boosting class.
Search online or ask a guidance counselor or therapist for a recommendation of a class that can help you build confidence. This could range from debate to public speaking to cooking. National organizations like Toast Masters are a great option. You may even be able to find weekend or afternoon classes to help you improve your confidence and be more outgoing.
3-5. Seek professional assistance.
If you find yourself unable to achieve your goals to develop greater confidence on your own, you may want to talk to a professional. Guidance counselors and therapists have the education and training to help you succeed in your goals to change your habits. There are also peer group programs for anxious people that provide support and encouragement.
Anti-anxiety medications may be prescribed to help you feel more relaxed on a daily basis, if it's discovered that your shyness is a result of a social anxiety disorder.
A therapist or counselor can walk you through cognitive behavior therapies to help you change negative thought processes, and improve your overall confidence, which makes being outgoing in social situations easier.
Tips
Love yourself and who you are, and other people will like you too.
Don't spend excessive amounts of time focused on being outgoing. If it doesn't come naturally, try to do just a few things that show more confidence each day, but don't push yourself too hard.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Involved in School\\n1-1. Volunteer as the leader for group projects.\\nThis will give you a good reason to speak up, and give you plenty of things to say. Being a leader in a small group also makes you look more confident to your peers. Take charge and show initiative.\\n1-2. Raise your hand in class.\\nOne way to challenge yourself to be more outgoing is by trying to answer one of your teacher's questions every week or every day or every class period. Answering questions in class gives you the opportunity to practice being more outgoing, and it gives you a captive audience of your peers. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to perform. Just keep trying.\\n1-3. Join a club.\\nThis is an opportunity to talk with people about a shared interest. This can make it much easier to be outgoing because you know you have a common language with this group. Additionally, clubs and extracurricular activities typically have meetings with agendas. That gives you even more opportunity to prepare what you may want to say in advance.\\nIf you particularly enjoy one of your subjects, there may be an academic club you can join to learn more and engage with other students who also enjoy the topic.\\n1-4. Participate in theater productions.\\nSchool theatre is a great opportunity to be more outgoing. Audition for a show. You'll meet lots of new people, and even if you're not cast in the school play, you'll have the opportunity to perform confidently in front of others.\\n1-5. Play a team sport.\\nWhile you may not get a lot of opportunities to talk with other people, but working with other players helps you build confidence and trust with your peers. Playing a sport you enjoy, even if you're not great at it, is just one more way to meet new people who have shared interests. Many student athletes build life-long friendships with their teammates.\\n1-6. Go to an open mic night or poetry slam.\\nIf your school hosts these, this can be a great opportunity to try being outgoing in front of a group of strangers, and if you fail, this is a low stakes situation because you never have to see these people again. Sing a song, read a poem, tell a joke. Get outside your comfort zone.\\nYou don't even need to perform. You can just attend the show and talk to the performers and other audience members.\\n2. Talking to New People\\n2-1. Smile at one new person.\\nPeople are more likely to approach or speak with a stranger who is smiling. Sharing a smile makes you appear happy and approachable. Smiling also boosts your own level of contentment, and in most cases, happier people are much more confident. Set a goal to smile at someone and say hello every day. You may not always get a response, but the act of repeatedly smiling and greeting new people will make you seem and feel more outgoing.\\n2-2. Discuss shared experiences.\\nIf you have a class with someone else, see each other at a movie over the weekend, or are both in the school band, these are all great starting points for a conversation. Approach people and casually bring up your shared interest, even if you have to practice being casual.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I did not feel great about that test in chemistry. How do you think you did?”\\nYou could ask something like, “Did you enjoy that movie last weekend?”\\nTry complimenting them by saying, “You did great on that solo in band.\\\"\\n2-3. Talk to someone during every social event.\\nEven if it's simply to go up and say hi, force yourself to talk to at least one person during any social engagement. This can mean chatting with someone at a party, a meeting of an extracurricular group, or simply in between class periods. Prepare a list of topics ahead of time, because if you're afraid you might say the wrong thing, this is a great way to feel more confident. The list can include anything that may be interesting at the social event in question. For example, “What team are you rooting for?” Is a great opening line at a Friday night football game.\\nTalk to people who seem shy. This can help you both feel more confident and comfortable because you might both be in the same boat.\\nJust say hi! You have to start somewhere, and a simple hello is just fine.\\n2-4. Talk to friends of friends.\\nThis is likely a more comfortable situation, and it will be easier for you to approach them because you have a friend in common.\\nStart with something like, \\\"You're a friend of Brenda's right? I'm Sam. Brenda and I go to school together. We met at her birthday.\\\" This takes all the pressure off the other person to remember who you are, and starts the conversation off.\\nIf you don't already know from previous encounters, ask, \\\"How did you meet Brenda?\\\"\\nIf you haven't seen your mutual friend lately, you can ask after them. Say something like, \\\"How has Brenda been?\\\"\\n2-5. Join a pre-existing conversation.\\nDon't feel pressured to always create the conversation. If a group of people are already talking, join in the chat. This can be as simple as saying, “Oh, I saw that movie too. What did you think of the ending?” Just walk up and join in the conversation. Remember your opinions are valid, and people will enjoy hearing them.\\nIf the group of students you're joining is in another social group than the one you usually hang out with, don't let that intimidate you. Remember that the worst case scenario is you don't make new friends, and if the group of students doesn't like you, you can always try talking to a different group of people.\\n2-6. Remember the things people tell you.\\nThis will make you feel more comfortable when approaching them, and take the focus off of you, if you're feeling shy. Plus, this assures the person you're talking to that you care about them, since you made an effort to remember what's going on in their life.\\nIf someone mentions they're going to see family out of state this weekend, ask them about it on Monday.\\nIf a friend was nervous about a math test last week, follow up to see how they did.\\nRemember people's birthdays and wish them well on that day.\\n3. Asking Others for Help and Advice\\n3-1. Ask friends or family members for tips.\\nThey can review your behavior by directly observing how you act or by you telling your peer or family member about an incident where you felt very shy. Most people will be happy to help you with this and give you tips, but try to find someone who is outgoing and confident in the ways you would like to be.\\nAsk them, “What would you have done in my situation?”\\nRequest feedback on how you can be more approachable or personable the next time you're in a similar situation.\\nRemind your friend or family member to offer constructive (helpful) feedback, not just criticism of your behaviors.\\n3-2. Mimic outgoing behaviors you admire.\\nThis doesn't mean you shouldn't be yourself or be confident in who you are. Instead, this is a way to learn outgoing behaviors by acting like a person who is already outgoing and confident. This is also a good way to reduce stress related to trying something new because you've already seen that these behaviors are effective.\\nThink of someone whose personality you admire - it could be your friend, it could be a family member, it could even be a celebrity. Then, watch them as they engage with other people. Pick up on their body language as well as their verbal cues. They might compliment others or give lots of hugs. Next time you're in a social situation, try to mimic one or two of their outgoing behaviors.\\n3-3. Role play with friends or family.\\nIf you know you're going to a party, meeting, or other event soon, practice. Ask a friend or family member to act like a stranger or acquaintance you may interact with at the event. Approach them and try a variety of greetings, conversation starters, and other interactions. The more times you do something, the more natural it feels.\\nYou could say, \\\"I'm going to a party and want to seem very outgoing. Can you do a little role play with me to see how I might interact with others to seem outgoing?\\\"\\n3-4. Take a confidence boosting class.\\nSearch online or ask a guidance counselor or therapist for a recommendation of a class that can help you build confidence. This could range from debate to public speaking to cooking. National organizations like Toast Masters are a great option. You may even be able to find weekend or afternoon classes to help you improve your confidence and be more outgoing.\\n3-5. Seek professional assistance.\\nIf you find yourself unable to achieve your goals to develop greater confidence on your own, you may want to talk to a professional. Guidance counselors and therapists have the education and training to help you succeed in your goals to change your habits. There are also peer group programs for anxious people that provide support and encouragement.\\nAnti-anxiety medications may be prescribed to help you feel more relaxed on a daily basis, if it's discovered that your shyness is a result of a social anxiety disorder.\\nA therapist or counselor can walk you through cognitive behavior therapies to help you change negative thought processes, and improve your overall confidence, which makes being outgoing in social situations easier.\\nTips\\nLove yourself and who you are, and other people will like you too.\\nDon't spend excessive amounts of time focused on being outgoing. If it doesn't come naturally, try to do just a few things that show more confidence each day, but don't push yourself too hard.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Finding the right way to be outgoing and make friends in high school can be a struggle. Whether you're naturally shy or just want to be even more outgoing, having the confidence to speak up and make a good impression can be a stressful proposition. However, even the shyest person can make small changes to become a confident, outgoing person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved in School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Volunteer as the leader for group projects.\", \"描述\": \"This will give you a good reason to speak up, and give you plenty of things to say. Being a leader in a small group also makes you look more confident to your peers. Take charge and show initiative.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Raise your hand in class.\", \"描述\": \"One way to challenge yourself to be more outgoing is by trying to answer one of your teacher's questions every week or every day or every class period. Answering questions in class gives you the opportunity to practice being more outgoing, and it gives you a captive audience of your peers. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to perform. Just keep trying.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join a club.\", \"描述\": \"This is an opportunity to talk with people about a shared interest. This can make it much easier to be outgoing because you know you have a common language with this group. Additionally, clubs and extracurricular activities typically have meetings with agendas. That gives you even more opportunity to prepare what you may want to say in advance.\\nIf you particularly enjoy one of your subjects, there may be an academic club you can join to learn more and engage with other students who also enjoy the topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Participate in theater productions.\", \"描述\": \"School theatre is a great opportunity to be more outgoing. Audition for a show. You'll meet lots of new people, and even if you're not cast in the school play, you'll have the opportunity to perform confidently in front of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Play a team sport.\", \"描述\": \"While you may not get a lot of opportunities to talk with other people, but working with other players helps you build confidence and trust with your peers. Playing a sport you enjoy, even if you're not great at it, is just one more way to meet new people who have shared interests. Many student athletes build life-long friendships with their teammates.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go to an open mic night or poetry slam.\", \"描述\": \"If your school hosts these, this can be a great opportunity to try being outgoing in front of a group of strangers, and if you fail, this is a low stakes situation because you never have to see these people again. Sing a song, read a poem, tell a joke. Get outside your comfort zone.\\nYou don't even need to perform. You can just attend the show and talk to the performers and other audience members.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking to New People\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile at one new person.\", \"描述\": \"People are more likely to approach or speak with a stranger who is smiling. Sharing a smile makes you appear happy and approachable. Smiling also boosts your own level of contentment, and in most cases, happier people are much more confident. Set a goal to smile at someone and say hello every day. You may not always get a response, but the act of repeatedly smiling and greeting new people will make you seem and feel more outgoing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discuss shared experiences.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a class with someone else, see each other at a movie over the weekend, or are both in the school band, these are all great starting points for a conversation. Approach people and casually bring up your shared interest, even if you have to practice being casual.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I did not feel great about that test in chemistry. How do you think you did?”\\nYou could ask something like, “Did you enjoy that movie last weekend?”\\nTry complimenting them by saying, “You did great on that solo in band.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone during every social event.\", \"描述\": \"Even if it's simply to go up and say hi, force yourself to talk to at least one person during any social engagement. This can mean chatting with someone at a party, a meeting of an extracurricular group, or simply in between class periods. Prepare a list of topics ahead of time, because if you're afraid you might say the wrong thing, this is a great way to feel more confident. The list can include anything that may be interesting at the social event in question. For example, “What team are you rooting for?” Is a great opening line at a Friday night football game.\\nTalk to people who seem shy. This can help you both feel more confident and comfortable because you might both be in the same boat.\\nJust say hi! You have to start somewhere, and a simple hello is just fine.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to friends of friends.\", \"描述\": \"This is likely a more comfortable situation, and it will be easier for you to approach them because you have a friend in common.\\nStart with something like, \\\"You're a friend of Brenda's right? I'm Sam. Brenda and I go to school together. We met at her birthday.\\\" This takes all the pressure off the other person to remember who you are, and starts the conversation off.\\nIf you don't already know from previous encounters, ask, \\\"How did you meet Brenda?\\\"\\nIf you haven't seen your mutual friend lately, you can ask after them. Say something like, \\\"How has Brenda been?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join a pre-existing conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Don't feel pressured to always create the conversation. If a group of people are already talking, join in the chat. This can be as simple as saying, “Oh, I saw that movie too. What did you think of the ending?” Just walk up and join in the conversation. Remember your opinions are valid, and people will enjoy hearing them.\\nIf the group of students you're joining is in another social group than the one you usually hang out with, don't let that intimidate you. Remember that the worst case scenario is you don't make new friends, and if the group of students doesn't like you, you can always try talking to a different group of people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remember the things people tell you.\", \"描述\": \"This will make you feel more comfortable when approaching them, and take the focus off of you, if you're feeling shy. Plus, this assures the person you're talking to that you care about them, since you made an effort to remember what's going on in their life.\\nIf someone mentions they're going to see family out of state this weekend, ask them about it on Monday.\\nIf a friend was nervous about a math test last week, follow up to see how they did.\\nRemember people's birthdays and wish them well on that day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Others for Help and Advice\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask friends or family members for tips.\", \"描述\": \"They can review your behavior by directly observing how you act or by you telling your peer or family member about an incident where you felt very shy. Most people will be happy to help you with this and give you tips, but try to find someone who is outgoing and confident in the ways you would like to be.\\nAsk them, “What would you have done in my situation?”\\nRequest feedback on how you can be more approachable or personable the next time you're in a similar situation.\\nRemind your friend or family member to offer constructive (helpful) feedback, not just criticism of your behaviors.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mimic outgoing behaviors you admire.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean you shouldn't be yourself or be confident in who you are. Instead, this is a way to learn outgoing behaviors by acting like a person who is already outgoing and confident. This is also a good way to reduce stress related to trying something new because you've already seen that these behaviors are effective.\\nThink of someone whose personality you admire - it could be your friend, it could be a family member, it could even be a celebrity. Then, watch them as they engage with other people. Pick up on their body language as well as their verbal cues. They might compliment others or give lots of hugs. Next time you're in a social situation, try to mimic one or two of their outgoing behaviors.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Role play with friends or family.\", \"描述\": \"If you know you're going to a party, meeting, or other event soon, practice. Ask a friend or family member to act like a stranger or acquaintance you may interact with at the event. Approach them and try a variety of greetings, conversation starters, and other interactions. The more times you do something, the more natural it feels.\\nYou could say, \\\"I'm going to a party and want to seem very outgoing. Can you do a little role play with me to see how I might interact with others to seem outgoing?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take a confidence boosting class.\", \"描述\": \"Search online or ask a guidance counselor or therapist for a recommendation of a class that can help you build confidence. This could range from debate to public speaking to cooking. National organizations like Toast Masters are a great option. You may even be able to find weekend or afternoon classes to help you improve your confidence and be more outgoing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Seek professional assistance.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself unable to achieve your goals to develop greater confidence on your own, you may want to talk to a professional. Guidance counselors and therapists have the education and training to help you succeed in your goals to change your habits. There are also peer group programs for anxious people that provide support and encouragement.\\nAnti-anxiety medications may be prescribed to help you feel more relaxed on a daily basis, if it's discovered that your shyness is a result of a social anxiety disorder.\\nA therapist or counselor can walk you through cognitive behavior therapies to help you change negative thought processes, and improve your overall confidence, which makes being outgoing in social situations easier.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Love yourself and who you are, and other people will like you too.\\n\", \"Don't spend excessive amounts of time focused on being outgoing. If it doesn't come naturally, try to do just a few things that show more confidence each day, but don't push yourself too hard.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,016 | How to Be Outspoken | 1. Finding Your Voice
1-1. Gain self-knowledge through journaling.
Knowing who you are, what you believe, what you think, feel and want are the beginnings of knowing yourself, and journaling is a great way to establish that knowledge. Practice journaling for 15 minutes or more each night before bed. Not only can you know yourself better, journaling is an excellent tool to improve self-confidence. Self-confidence is the foundation of being outspoken. Try these journal topics to start your journey to greater self-knowledge:
What would be your ideal birthday present and why?
What is the most courageous thing you have ever done?
Who do you most admire and why?
How would you like to be remembered?
1-2. Be confident.
In order to be outspoken, you have to believe that your voice has worth. You have to believe that your input will make any conversation better. And it probably will! It's different opinions that make conversations or debates interesting.
If you struggle with confidence, an easy way to start is on a specific topic that you are very familiar with. The more thoroughly you know a topic, the more comfortable you'll be talking about it.
For example, if you are an avid martial artist, talk about martial arts. If you love maintaining a perfect garden, talk about gardening. Become comfortable talking about things close to your heart first.
Getting practice in your area of expertise will help you branch out to more abstract topics, like government, ethics, or religion.
1-3. Overcome shyness
Just because you're confident doesn't mean you like hearing your own voice. The next step is overcoming your shyness. Overcoming a natural tendency towards shyness can seem daunting, but doing the opposite of your natural instinct can open up a whole new set of choices: bolder choices.
The popular sitcom Seinfeld aired an episode called “The Opposite.” In this episode, George decides that every decision that he has ever made has been wrong. He concludes that if he did the opposite of his natural instincts, he would get better results. George then decides to do the complete opposite of what he would normally do in every situation. By the end of the show, he goes from being unemployed and living his parents, to getting a job with the New York Yankees organization and being able to get a place of his own.
1-4. Find your strengths.
Our strengths usually follow our interests; interests reveal passions. It is easy to be outspoken when talking about your interests and passions. Once you identify your strengths, feel confident in expressing your views or even taking the lead in a project or activity where these strengths are used. Ask yourself these questions to discover your strengths:
What am I interested in?
What are my hobbies?
What are my best subjects in school?
In what areas do I excel at my job?
1-5. Develop your opinions.
You don't want to sound like you don't know what you're talking about -- or soon enough no one will listen to you. Plus, it will make becoming outspoken very hard if you don't have anything to say! Think about how you feel about the hot button topics in your social circle. Only you have the answer, after all -- and you can't be wrong!
If you don't really have an opinion about something, do a little research about it and decide what you think.
Know that lacking an opinion on a matter can be a stance too; you just don't view it as important and worth arguing.
For example, you may find yourself unengaged with celebrity gossip because you simply don’t care. It’s okay to say “I have other priorities right now,” or “I do not have an opinion about that.”
1-6. Back up your opinion with facts.
Some people feel uncomfortable having or expressing an opinion because they don't know much about a topic. You can combat this feeling and have more confidence about your opinion if you learn facts that can support your opinion.
For example, if your friends and family talk about healthcare reform all the time, read a few articles about it and decide what you think. If you can back up your opinion with facts, you will feel even more comfortable expressing yourself.
1-7. Choose your battles.
You don't want to be the person who's shoving your opinion in everyone's faces at all times, who seems to be outspoken only for the sake of being outspoken, or the one who takes pride in getting the last word in. Instead, know what you feel passionately about and stick to those things.
Wait to speak out until you care about an issue. If you give out opinions or contradictions constantly, you may seem belligerent and annoying. The idea is to make people notice and care about what you think, not to hit them over the head with it.
1-8. Know that being reserved has its place.
Western society generally pushes us to be extroverts. The workplace values the person who speaks up, gets conversations going, and forms meaningful work relationships. However, there is nothing wrong with being reserved. Sometimes taking a step back can be the most diplomatic and effective option for communicating.
As with most things, it's healthiest lying somewhere in the middle. Being outspoken 24/7 shouldn't be your goal -- you should aim to be outspoken when you feel and only when you feel your stance is being underrepresented or needs defending. If it doesn't, reserve away.
1-9. Open your mind.
This is just general good-arguing etiquette. In order to state your opinion and come across as rational and someone who should be listened to, you can't come across as bigoted, closed-minded, or arrogant. Allowing the other parties to make their points fully can help you seem more reasonable and level-headed.
This is important before, during, and after you speak your mind. It's just as impressive saying, "You know -- you're right. I didn't think of that," as it is to bombard someone with a milieu of facts that are inarguable. Many people can go off on an unstoppable rant-- fewer can stop and admit they might be wrong.
2. Interacting with Others
2-1. Practice with a trusted friend.
It’s easy to misunderstand being outspoken for being rude and opinionated. To learn the fine art of being outspoken, pick a friend who knows you and cares about you. Practice speaking your mind honestly and with boldness. A trusted friend can help you practice being outspoken until it feels more natural by giving you feedback.
Being outspoken might sound like this, “I love astronomy and I think we can learn a lot from studying the night sky”.
Being rude or opinionated would sound like this, “Anyone who cannot appreciate the night sky is an idiot”.
2-2. Try to let go of your fears.
It can be easy to be intimidated if you are worried about what other people will think or say about you. However, you have to let that go. By expressing yourself well when you have researched and formed a clear opinion about something, you can feel more confident about what you’re saying and worry less about the judgment of others.
2-3. Be tactful.
You can be outspoken, still have tact, and be sensitive to others' feelings. Knowing when to be outspoken, as well as knowing what you wish to say, can often be a matter of tact.
If you are an avid atheist, a church memorial service for a recently deceased family member is probably not the best place to express your opinion that people who die simply die and don’t go anywhere. Keeping your opinion to yourself in that context is far more tactful.
2-4. Be well-spoken.
It is a shame to allow a good argument to be undermined by improper expression. Many people will focus so much on how things are said that they miss what is being said; you can avoid that problem by doing your best to be well-spoken. Think about how other well-spoken people, such as news anchors, tend to speak and arrange their thoughts, and try to emulate them.
Sometimes part of being well-spoken is not just speaking in large words. It can be just as effective to be short and to-the-point as long as you are presenting thorough information.
For example, saying, "The tuna industry is an abomination. Anyone who eats tuna is being injurious to the ecosystem," is insufficient. Instead, back up what you’re saying: "The tuna industry is completely unsustainable. It'll be off the shelves in 10 years if we don't stop. Humans are completely messing up the circle of life."
2-5. Know when to let it go.
Along with picking your battles, you should be able to assess when to let the battle end. When you've said your piece, let your words and ideas speak for themselves. No need to beat a dead horse!
Take cues from your peers, too. If someone is starting to get offended, exasperated, or is displaying any other negative emotion, back off. You can revisit the point later if need be.
2-6. Practice and repeat.
Any personality trait is learned. Once you start being outspoken on a regular basis, the reaction will become automatic. Hearing yourself talk won't faze you. Seeing others react to your opinion won't be scary. It's just a natural part of human socialization.
Aim to state your opinion once a day, to start. Slowly work your way up to every time you find yourself thinking something pertinent and not saying it. If you go too far, it'll be easier to draw yourself back. And if anyone asks why the change of heart, be honest! You're working on being outspoken. That's all.
3. Being Effective
3-1. Be outspoken at home and at the workplace.
It's easy to tell your family how you really feel about the world around you. It's a lot harder to walk into a meeting, raise your hand, and put yourself on the line. But the hard stuff is what really matters most. And it could mean that promotion you’ve been wanting!
The more you do something, the more it becomes comfortable -- regardless of what it is. So tomorrow, start. When a thought occurs to you that you could say, say it. That's all you need to do. Do it once a day until being a vocal part of the team feels less scary. You can beef it up from there.
3-2. Don't aim to convince.
Intellectual, open-minded debates can be invigorating and tons of fun. However, talking to someone who's shoving their opinions down your throat, unrelenting until you admit your unenthusiastic conversion is not. Don't be the person who won't stop until everyone in the room agrees with you. That's not the goal here.
3-3. Know your opinion isn't the only one.
Some people have a hard time keeping their opinions to themselves and not aiming to convince the other party. This is often because they firmly and steadfastly believe that they are 100% right. The other person is just being ridiculous -- why can't they see it? Because the other person believes the exact same thing.
The odds are that if you're on this page, you're not the "I'm right and you're wrong" kind of person. However, you're probably going to have to deal with this type of person once you're the one going against their opinion. Let them know that their one-sided view isn't conducive to a fun, intellectual debate. There's no point in arguing with someone like this, so don't do it!
3-4. Don't put others down.
Once you start voicing your opinion, you're going to run into other people that feel compelled to voice theirs, too. You're also going to run into people that state their opinion and it'll leave you thinking, "Did he really just say that...? I must have misheard." When this happens, don't tarnish your rationale by adding in comments like, "You're acting crazy," or "That's so dumb." That doesn't put you in a better position, nor them in a worse one. It just makes you look kind of mean.
Try your hardest to make your outspokenness non-judgmental when it comes to people. If you don't feel like going to a certain movie with your friends, outright say so -- but if, say, someone is talking about their struggle with weight loss, be a bit more diplomatic about the topic.
3-5. Listen to other people.
Follow Nelson Mandela's model; he once said, "I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my own opinion. Oftentimes, my own opinion will simply represent a consensus of what I heard in the discussion."
Listening first is so important -- maybe your point has already been addressed -- or maybe someone had a better one! The only way you can really make sure your outspokenness is fulfilling its purpose is if you listen before you open your mouth. It'll save you a lot of grief later, too!
Tips
Don't say anything racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive.
Make sure you are always noble in your causes.
Don't be afraid. Your opinions are worth something.
Warnings
Avoid profanity while making an argument. It can cause the other person to dismiss the good points you’re making and can undermine your effective points.
Be careful when arguing with people of authority, such as bosses, teachers, etc.
You may make more enemies this way, but usually they are few if you are a good and honest person. You will also gain much more respect.
Some of your friends may only like very shy, careful people. A good friend should understand that you haven't changed, but you may have some shifts in who you hang out with.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Your Voice\\n1-1. Gain self-knowledge through journaling.\\nKnowing who you are, what you believe, what you think, feel and want are the beginnings of knowing yourself, and journaling is a great way to establish that knowledge. Practice journaling for 15 minutes or more each night before bed. Not only can you know yourself better, journaling is an excellent tool to improve self-confidence. Self-confidence is the foundation of being outspoken. Try these journal topics to start your journey to greater self-knowledge:\\nWhat would be your ideal birthday present and why?\\nWhat is the most courageous thing you have ever done?\\nWho do you most admire and why?\\nHow would you like to be remembered?\\n1-2. Be confident.\\nIn order to be outspoken, you have to believe that your voice has worth. You have to believe that your input will make any conversation better. And it probably will! It's different opinions that make conversations or debates interesting.\\nIf you struggle with confidence, an easy way to start is on a specific topic that you are very familiar with. The more thoroughly you know a topic, the more comfortable you'll be talking about it.\\nFor example, if you are an avid martial artist, talk about martial arts. If you love maintaining a perfect garden, talk about gardening. Become comfortable talking about things close to your heart first.\\nGetting practice in your area of expertise will help you branch out to more abstract topics, like government, ethics, or religion.\\n1-3. Overcome shyness\\nJust because you're confident doesn't mean you like hearing your own voice. The next step is overcoming your shyness. Overcoming a natural tendency towards shyness can seem daunting, but doing the opposite of your natural instinct can open up a whole new set of choices: bolder choices.\\nThe popular sitcom Seinfeld aired an episode called “The Opposite.” In this episode, George decides that every decision that he has ever made has been wrong. He concludes that if he did the opposite of his natural instincts, he would get better results. George then decides to do the complete opposite of what he would normally do in every situation. By the end of the show, he goes from being unemployed and living his parents, to getting a job with the New York Yankees organization and being able to get a place of his own.\\n1-4. Find your strengths.\\nOur strengths usually follow our interests; interests reveal passions. It is easy to be outspoken when talking about your interests and passions. Once you identify your strengths, feel confident in expressing your views or even taking the lead in a project or activity where these strengths are used. Ask yourself these questions to discover your strengths:\\nWhat am I interested in?\\nWhat are my hobbies?\\nWhat are my best subjects in school?\\nIn what areas do I excel at my job?\\n1-5. Develop your opinions.\\nYou don't want to sound like you don't know what you're talking about -- or soon enough no one will listen to you. Plus, it will make becoming outspoken very hard if you don't have anything to say! Think about how you feel about the hot button topics in your social circle. Only you have the answer, after all -- and you can't be wrong!\\nIf you don't really have an opinion about something, do a little research about it and decide what you think.\\nKnow that lacking an opinion on a matter can be a stance too; you just don't view it as important and worth arguing.\\nFor example, you may find yourself unengaged with celebrity gossip because you simply don’t care. It’s okay to say “I have other priorities right now,” or “I do not have an opinion about that.”\\n1-6. Back up your opinion with facts.\\nSome people feel uncomfortable having or expressing an opinion because they don't know much about a topic. You can combat this feeling and have more confidence about your opinion if you learn facts that can support your opinion.\\nFor example, if your friends and family talk about healthcare reform all the time, read a few articles about it and decide what you think. If you can back up your opinion with facts, you will feel even more comfortable expressing yourself.\\n1-7. Choose your battles.\\nYou don't want to be the person who's shoving your opinion in everyone's faces at all times, who seems to be outspoken only for the sake of being outspoken, or the one who takes pride in getting the last word in. Instead, know what you feel passionately about and stick to those things.\\nWait to speak out until you care about an issue. If you give out opinions or contradictions constantly, you may seem belligerent and annoying. The idea is to make people notice and care about what you think, not to hit them over the head with it.\\n1-8. Know that being reserved has its place.\\nWestern society generally pushes us to be extroverts. The workplace values the person who speaks up, gets conversations going, and forms meaningful work relationships. However, there is nothing wrong with being reserved. Sometimes taking a step back can be the most diplomatic and effective option for communicating.\\nAs with most things, it's healthiest lying somewhere in the middle. Being outspoken 24/7 shouldn't be your goal -- you should aim to be outspoken when you feel and only when you feel your stance is being underrepresented or needs defending. If it doesn't, reserve away.\\n1-9. Open your mind.\\nThis is just general good-arguing etiquette. In order to state your opinion and come across as rational and someone who should be listened to, you can't come across as bigoted, closed-minded, or arrogant. Allowing the other parties to make their points fully can help you seem more reasonable and level-headed.\\nThis is important before, during, and after you speak your mind. It's just as impressive saying, \\\"You know -- you're right. I didn't think of that,\\\" as it is to bombard someone with a milieu of facts that are inarguable. Many people can go off on an unstoppable rant-- fewer can stop and admit they might be wrong.\\n2. Interacting with Others\\n2-1. Practice with a trusted friend.\\nIt’s easy to misunderstand being outspoken for being rude and opinionated. To learn the fine art of being outspoken, pick a friend who knows you and cares about you. Practice speaking your mind honestly and with boldness. A trusted friend can help you practice being outspoken until it feels more natural by giving you feedback.\\nBeing outspoken might sound like this, “I love astronomy and I think we can learn a lot from studying the night sky”.\\nBeing rude or opinionated would sound like this, “Anyone who cannot appreciate the night sky is an idiot”.\\n2-2. Try to let go of your fears.\\nIt can be easy to be intimidated if you are worried about what other people will think or say about you. However, you have to let that go. By expressing yourself well when you have researched and formed a clear opinion about something, you can feel more confident about what you’re saying and worry less about the judgment of others.\\n2-3. Be tactful.\\nYou can be outspoken, still have tact, and be sensitive to others' feelings. Knowing when to be outspoken, as well as knowing what you wish to say, can often be a matter of tact.\\nIf you are an avid atheist, a church memorial service for a recently deceased family member is probably not the best place to express your opinion that people who die simply die and don’t go anywhere. Keeping your opinion to yourself in that context is far more tactful.\\n2-4. Be well-spoken.\\nIt is a shame to allow a good argument to be undermined by improper expression. Many people will focus so much on how things are said that they miss what is being said; you can avoid that problem by doing your best to be well-spoken. Think about how other well-spoken people, such as news anchors, tend to speak and arrange their thoughts, and try to emulate them.\\nSometimes part of being well-spoken is not just speaking in large words. It can be just as effective to be short and to-the-point as long as you are presenting thorough information.\\nFor example, saying, \\\"The tuna industry is an abomination. Anyone who eats tuna is being injurious to the ecosystem,\\\" is insufficient. Instead, back up what you’re saying: \\\"The tuna industry is completely unsustainable. It'll be off the shelves in 10 years if we don't stop. Humans are completely messing up the circle of life.\\\"\\n2-5. Know when to let it go.\\nAlong with picking your battles, you should be able to assess when to let the battle end. When you've said your piece, let your words and ideas speak for themselves. No need to beat a dead horse!\\nTake cues from your peers, too. If someone is starting to get offended, exasperated, or is displaying any other negative emotion, back off. You can revisit the point later if need be.\\n2-6. Practice and repeat.\\nAny personality trait is learned. Once you start being outspoken on a regular basis, the reaction will become automatic. Hearing yourself talk won't faze you. Seeing others react to your opinion won't be scary. It's just a natural part of human socialization.\\nAim to state your opinion once a day, to start. Slowly work your way up to every time you find yourself thinking something pertinent and not saying it. If you go too far, it'll be easier to draw yourself back. And if anyone asks why the change of heart, be honest! You're working on being outspoken. That's all.\\n3. Being Effective\\n3-1. Be outspoken at home and at the workplace.\\nIt's easy to tell your family how you really feel about the world around you. It's a lot harder to walk into a meeting, raise your hand, and put yourself on the line. But the hard stuff is what really matters most. And it could mean that promotion you’ve been wanting!\\nThe more you do something, the more it becomes comfortable -- regardless of what it is. So tomorrow, start. When a thought occurs to you that you could say, say it. That's all you need to do. Do it once a day until being a vocal part of the team feels less scary. You can beef it up from there.\\n3-2. Don't aim to convince.\\nIntellectual, open-minded debates can be invigorating and tons of fun. However, talking to someone who's shoving their opinions down your throat, unrelenting until you admit your unenthusiastic conversion is not. Don't be the person who won't stop until everyone in the room agrees with you. That's not the goal here.\\n3-3. Know your opinion isn't the only one.\\nSome people have a hard time keeping their opinions to themselves and not aiming to convince the other party. This is often because they firmly and steadfastly believe that they are 100% right. The other person is just being ridiculous -- why can't they see it? Because the other person believes the exact same thing.\\nThe odds are that if you're on this page, you're not the \\\"I'm right and you're wrong\\\" kind of person. However, you're probably going to have to deal with this type of person once you're the one going against their opinion. Let them know that their one-sided view isn't conducive to a fun, intellectual debate. There's no point in arguing with someone like this, so don't do it!\\n3-4. Don't put others down.\\nOnce you start voicing your opinion, you're going to run into other people that feel compelled to voice theirs, too. You're also going to run into people that state their opinion and it'll leave you thinking, \\\"Did he really just say that...? I must have misheard.\\\" When this happens, don't tarnish your rationale by adding in comments like, \\\"You're acting crazy,\\\" or \\\"That's so dumb.\\\" That doesn't put you in a better position, nor them in a worse one. It just makes you look kind of mean.\\nTry your hardest to make your outspokenness non-judgmental when it comes to people. If you don't feel like going to a certain movie with your friends, outright say so -- but if, say, someone is talking about their struggle with weight loss, be a bit more diplomatic about the topic.\\n3-5. Listen to other people.\\nFollow Nelson Mandela's model; he once said, \\\"I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my own opinion. Oftentimes, my own opinion will simply represent a consensus of what I heard in the discussion.\\\"\\nListening first is so important -- maybe your point has already been addressed -- or maybe someone had a better one! The only way you can really make sure your outspokenness is fulfilling its purpose is if you listen before you open your mouth. It'll save you a lot of grief later, too!\\nTips\\nDon't say anything racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive.\\nMake sure you are always noble in your causes.\\nDon't be afraid. Your opinions are worth something.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid profanity while making an argument. It can cause the other person to dismiss the good points you’re making and can undermine your effective points.\\nBe careful when arguing with people of authority, such as bosses, teachers, etc.\\nYou may make more enemies this way, but usually they are few if you are a good and honest person. You will also gain much more respect.\\nSome of your friends may only like very shy, careful people. A good friend should understand that you haven't changed, but you may have some shifts in who you hang out with.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Would you like to feel more confident in expressing your thoughts and feelings? Do you wish that others would take notice of your views? Do you struggle to boldly own your perspective in a conversation? Being outspoken is a quality that, when used with skill and wisdom, can set you apart from the crowd. Being outspoken is to speak your mind, to be honest and forthright, candid yet tactful. Being outspoken doesn’t necessarily mean that you are an open book and that you spill all of the details of your life. It is not to lack boundaries or class. It is not expressing a truckload of negativity and criticism whenever the chance arises. The quality of being outspoken is a positive and desirable skill.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Your Voice\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gain self-knowledge through journaling.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing who you are, what you believe, what you think, feel and want are the beginnings of knowing yourself, and journaling is a great way to establish that knowledge. Practice journaling for 15 minutes or more each night before bed. Not only can you know yourself better, journaling is an excellent tool to improve self-confidence. Self-confidence is the foundation of being outspoken. Try these journal topics to start your journey to greater self-knowledge:\\nWhat would be your ideal birthday present and why?\\nWhat is the most courageous thing you have ever done?\\nWho do you most admire and why?\\nHow would you like to be remembered?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be outspoken, you have to believe that your voice has worth. You have to believe that your input will make any conversation better. And it probably will! It's different opinions that make conversations or debates interesting.\\nIf you struggle with confidence, an easy way to start is on a specific topic that you are very familiar with. The more thoroughly you know a topic, the more comfortable you'll be talking about it.\\nFor example, if you are an avid martial artist, talk about martial arts. If you love maintaining a perfect garden, talk about gardening. Become comfortable talking about things close to your heart first.\\nGetting practice in your area of expertise will help you branch out to more abstract topics, like government, ethics, or religion.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Overcome shyness\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're confident doesn't mean you like hearing your own voice. The next step is overcoming your shyness. Overcoming a natural tendency towards shyness can seem daunting, but doing the opposite of your natural instinct can open up a whole new set of choices: bolder choices.\\nThe popular sitcom Seinfeld aired an episode called “The Opposite.” In this episode, George decides that every decision that he has ever made has been wrong. He concludes that if he did the opposite of his natural instincts, he would get better results. George then decides to do the complete opposite of what he would normally do in every situation. By the end of the show, he goes from being unemployed and living his parents, to getting a job with the New York Yankees organization and being able to get a place of his own.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Our strengths usually follow our interests; interests reveal passions. It is easy to be outspoken when talking about your interests and passions. Once you identify your strengths, feel confident in expressing your views or even taking the lead in a project or activity where these strengths are used. Ask yourself these questions to discover your strengths:\\nWhat am I interested in?\\nWhat are my hobbies?\\nWhat are my best subjects in school?\\nIn what areas do I excel at my job?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Develop your opinions.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to sound like you don't know what you're talking about -- or soon enough no one will listen to you. Plus, it will make becoming outspoken very hard if you don't have anything to say! Think about how you feel about the hot button topics in your social circle. Only you have the answer, after all -- and you can't be wrong!\\nIf you don't really have an opinion about something, do a little research about it and decide what you think.\\nKnow that lacking an opinion on a matter can be a stance too; you just don't view it as important and worth arguing.\\nFor example, you may find yourself unengaged with celebrity gossip because you simply don’t care. It’s okay to say “I have other priorities right now,” or “I do not have an opinion about that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Back up your opinion with facts.\", \"描述\": \"Some people feel uncomfortable having or expressing an opinion because they don't know much about a topic. You can combat this feeling and have more confidence about your opinion if you learn facts that can support your opinion.\\nFor example, if your friends and family talk about healthcare reform all the time, read a few articles about it and decide what you think. If you can back up your opinion with facts, you will feel even more comfortable expressing yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Choose your battles.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to be the person who's shoving your opinion in everyone's faces at all times, who seems to be outspoken only for the sake of being outspoken, or the one who takes pride in getting the last word in. Instead, know what you feel passionately about and stick to those things.\\nWait to speak out until you care about an issue. If you give out opinions or contradictions constantly, you may seem belligerent and annoying. The idea is to make people notice and care about what you think, not to hit them over the head with it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Know that being reserved has its place.\", \"描述\": \"Western society generally pushes us to be extroverts. The workplace values the person who speaks up, gets conversations going, and forms meaningful work relationships. However, there is nothing wrong with being reserved. Sometimes taking a step back can be the most diplomatic and effective option for communicating.\\nAs with most things, it's healthiest lying somewhere in the middle. Being outspoken 24/7 shouldn't be your goal -- you should aim to be outspoken when you feel and only when you feel your stance is being underrepresented or needs defending. If it doesn't, reserve away.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Open your mind.\", \"描述\": \"This is just general good-arguing etiquette. In order to state your opinion and come across as rational and someone who should be listened to, you can't come across as bigoted, closed-minded, or arrogant. Allowing the other parties to make their points fully can help you seem more reasonable and level-headed.\\nThis is important before, during, and after you speak your mind. It's just as impressive saying, \\\"You know -- you're right. I didn't think of that,\\\" as it is to bombard someone with a milieu of facts that are inarguable. Many people can go off on an unstoppable rant-- fewer can stop and admit they might be wrong.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice with a trusted friend.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to misunderstand being outspoken for being rude and opinionated. To learn the fine art of being outspoken, pick a friend who knows you and cares about you. Practice speaking your mind honestly and with boldness. A trusted friend can help you practice being outspoken until it feels more natural by giving you feedback.\\nBeing outspoken might sound like this, “I love astronomy and I think we can learn a lot from studying the night sky”.\\nBeing rude or opinionated would sound like this, “Anyone who cannot appreciate the night sky is an idiot”.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to let go of your fears.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to be intimidated if you are worried about what other people will think or say about you. However, you have to let that go. By expressing yourself well when you have researched and formed a clear opinion about something, you can feel more confident about what you’re saying and worry less about the judgment of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be tactful.\", \"描述\": \"You can be outspoken, still have tact, and be sensitive to others' feelings. Knowing when to be outspoken, as well as knowing what you wish to say, can often be a matter of tact.\\nIf you are an avid atheist, a church memorial service for a recently deceased family member is probably not the best place to express your opinion that people who die simply die and don’t go anywhere. Keeping your opinion to yourself in that context is far more tactful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be well-spoken.\", \"描述\": \"It is a shame to allow a good argument to be undermined by improper expression. Many people will focus so much on how things are said that they miss what is being said; you can avoid that problem by doing your best to be well-spoken. Think about how other well-spoken people, such as news anchors, tend to speak and arrange their thoughts, and try to emulate them.\\nSometimes part of being well-spoken is not just speaking in large words. It can be just as effective to be short and to-the-point as long as you are presenting thorough information.\\nFor example, saying, \\\"The tuna industry is an abomination. Anyone who eats tuna is being injurious to the ecosystem,\\\" is insufficient. Instead, back up what you’re saying: \\\"The tuna industry is completely unsustainable. It'll be off the shelves in 10 years if we don't stop. Humans are completely messing up the circle of life.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know when to let it go.\", \"描述\": \"Along with picking your battles, you should be able to assess when to let the battle end. When you've said your piece, let your words and ideas speak for themselves. No need to beat a dead horse!\\nTake cues from your peers, too. If someone is starting to get offended, exasperated, or is displaying any other negative emotion, back off. You can revisit the point later if need be.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice and repeat.\", \"描述\": \"Any personality trait is learned. Once you start being outspoken on a regular basis, the reaction will become automatic. Hearing yourself talk won't faze you. Seeing others react to your opinion won't be scary. It's just a natural part of human socialization.\\nAim to state your opinion once a day, to start. Slowly work your way up to every time you find yourself thinking something pertinent and not saying it. If you go too far, it'll be easier to draw yourself back. And if anyone asks why the change of heart, be honest! You're working on being outspoken. That's all.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Effective\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be outspoken at home and at the workplace.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to tell your family how you really feel about the world around you. It's a lot harder to walk into a meeting, raise your hand, and put yourself on the line. But the hard stuff is what really matters most. And it could mean that promotion you’ve been wanting!\\nThe more you do something, the more it becomes comfortable -- regardless of what it is. So tomorrow, start. When a thought occurs to you that you could say, say it. That's all you need to do. Do it once a day until being a vocal part of the team feels less scary. You can beef it up from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't aim to convince.\", \"描述\": \"Intellectual, open-minded debates can be invigorating and tons of fun. However, talking to someone who's shoving their opinions down your throat, unrelenting until you admit your unenthusiastic conversion is not. Don't be the person who won't stop until everyone in the room agrees with you. That's not the goal here.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know your opinion isn't the only one.\", \"描述\": \"Some people have a hard time keeping their opinions to themselves and not aiming to convince the other party. This is often because they firmly and steadfastly believe that they are 100% right. The other person is just being ridiculous -- why can't they see it? Because the other person believes the exact same thing.\\nThe odds are that if you're on this page, you're not the \\\"I'm right and you're wrong\\\" kind of person. However, you're probably going to have to deal with this type of person once you're the one going against their opinion. Let them know that their one-sided view isn't conducive to a fun, intellectual debate. There's no point in arguing with someone like this, so don't do it!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't put others down.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start voicing your opinion, you're going to run into other people that feel compelled to voice theirs, too. You're also going to run into people that state their opinion and it'll leave you thinking, \\\"Did he really just say that...? I must have misheard.\\\" When this happens, don't tarnish your rationale by adding in comments like, \\\"You're acting crazy,\\\" or \\\"That's so dumb.\\\" That doesn't put you in a better position, nor them in a worse one. It just makes you look kind of mean.\\nTry your hardest to make your outspokenness non-judgmental when it comes to people. If you don't feel like going to a certain movie with your friends, outright say so -- but if, say, someone is talking about their struggle with weight loss, be a bit more diplomatic about the topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to other people.\", \"描述\": \"Follow Nelson Mandela's model; he once said, \\\"I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my own opinion. Oftentimes, my own opinion will simply represent a consensus of what I heard in the discussion.\\\"\\nListening first is so important -- maybe your point has already been addressed -- or maybe someone had a better one! The only way you can really make sure your outspokenness is fulfilling its purpose is if you listen before you open your mouth. It'll save you a lot of grief later, too!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't say anything racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive.\\n\", \"Make sure you are always noble in your causes.\\n\", \"Don't be afraid. Your opinions are worth something.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid profanity while making an argument. It can cause the other person to dismiss the good points you’re making and can undermine your effective points.\\n\", \"Be careful when arguing with people of authority, such as bosses, teachers, etc.\\n\", \"You may make more enemies this way, but usually they are few if you are a good and honest person. You will also gain much more respect.\\n\", \"Some of your friends may only like very shy, careful people. A good friend should understand that you haven't changed, but you may have some shifts in who you hang out with.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,017 | How to Be Overweight and Popular | 1. Being Comfortable with Yourself
1-1. Feel good about your appearance.
Even if you are unhappy about your weight, you can still be happy about how you look in other ways. Try wearing different clothes, being more confident, or not worrying about what others are thinking and saying.
Realize that your weight is not the only thing that matters. It is not the most important part of who you are or how you present yourself to others.
1-2. Give yourself a style makeover.
Buy clothes that fit you and make you feel powerful. Being comfortable with yourself is also dressing comfortably.
It's also important to dress your body-- as it is now-- in clothes that fit it well now. Even if you plan to lose weight, wearing too-small clothes is not a way to feel confident in your current size.
1-3. Boost your confidence.
Act confident in your appearance. Feel good about how you look.
If other people do not notice your appeal, act like they should and they will notice you.
Fake confidence until you have it. Act like you feel good about yourself and you probably will start to feel so.
Be decisive. Take charge of situations and be assertive
Choose your spots. Don't exhaust yourself by acting confident all the time.
1-4. Be healthy.
Being overweight does not mean you are unhealthy.
Staying healthy can make sure you feel better about yourself and your appearance, so maintain healthy eating and drinking habits.
Don't worry if you are overweight. You can still be healthy even if you are big for your age.
1-5. If you love to eat, try eating healthy foods like fruits and vegetables.
They will help you feel better mentally. If you like junk food, however, don't eat so much. Try eating a small bowl of potato chips with a diet soda.
1-6. Go to the gym.
Working out can help you stay healthy.
Try to do a bit of exercise everyday.
Do different workouts. Try walking one day and jogging the next.
Do some weightlifting. Don't hurt yourself, but see what you can do.
1-7. Don’t be extreme about your weight.
Keep a positive but realistic attitude about how much you weigh.
Miracle diets or diet pills are unhealthy. If it’s not tested/approved by the Food and Drug Administration, it could be a scam or lead to other costly health complications.
Be cautious of developing body issues. If you find yourself engaging in unhealthy eating behavior, make sure you realize it and get help.
Disorders like anorexia or bulimia are serious and do not make you healthier or skinnier. If you struggle with them, make sure to talk to someone.
1-8. Relax around others.
People often respond to those who are relaxed and at ease. Don’t be worried about your weight and others will not either.
Share yourself and your experiences. Others will find you fun and interesting.
Have good self-esteem. Feeling confident makes more confident.
Think of your favorite role models and imagine yourself being like them. People you admire likely have something that you recognize in yourself. Let your role models bring out the best in you.
2. Doing Well on the Outside
2-1. Show your best self.
Try to be confident in your other abilities and parts of yourself that aren’t visible.
Highlight your best qualities. You may be friendly, gentle, polite, funny, talkative, or honest.
Don’t be too shy. Even if you are a shy person, contributing in conversation draws people to you.
Have a good attitude. People like others based on how they act, not how they look. Feel good about yourself, your personality, and your abilities.
2-2. Be outgoing.
Put yourself out there. Making an effort to talk to people can help you get over being shy.
Show interest in others. Make new friends by asking questions and paying attention.
Try to be respectful of everyone around you, especially other overweight people (they may want to befriend you due to you both having similar problems). Include everyone and don’t focus on the negatives about any person.
Know that not everyone will like you. Even if you’ve been friendly, some people still may not like you. Focus only on what you can control and don’t worry about them.
2-3. Don’t be sad and mopey.
Always be cheerful and optimistic around others, since happiness is contagious.
Laugh at yourself, especially if you do anything dumb or clumsy. Don’t take yourself too seriously and have fun.
Have a smile for everyone. Smile at others to brighten up their day.
Be the first person to compliment or congratulate others. Don’t resent other people's accomplishments. Celebrate them for the great person they are.
Don’t try too hard. The important thing is to have good times with everyone around you.
3. Being a Complete Person
3-1. Focus on yourself.
Cultivate yourself and your interests. Take some time to work and focus on yourself.
Don’t worry about being popular. Spend time with yourself first.
Do only things that you want to do. Don’t focus exclusively on what others want to do.
Develop a strong sense of self-worth. Focus on yourself instead of popularity. You will be more secure when talk to others.
3-2. Cultivate interests.
Have interests outside of those of your friends. Make sure to spend time developing things that you like to do.
Learn to play an instrument. Music can help you to learn more about yourself. Playing an instrument can be a rewarding experience.
Speak a foreign language. Picking up a new language is difficult, but it can be helpful in many ways. Learn more about a different culture while also picking up an important skill.
Read and expand your horizons. Studying is important as well as maintaining good grades. It can also help you learn more about yourself, and the world around you.
Be creative. Try out different artistic experiences to see if any fit you.
3-3. Ignore detractors.
Don’t let others bring you down. Ignore them so you can focus on positive interactions with others.
Be the smarter person and walk away if others make fun of you about your weight. Getting angry at them is not worth it.
Don’t engage in negative thinking. If people are mean to you, that’s not a reflection of you. Instead, it says a lot more about them and their insecurities.
Don’t let others make you feel insecure. Feel good because of who you are, not what other people think about you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Comfortable with Yourself\\n1-1. Feel good about your appearance.\\nEven if you are unhappy about your weight, you can still be happy about how you look in other ways. Try wearing different clothes, being more confident, or not worrying about what others are thinking and saying.\\nRealize that your weight is not the only thing that matters. It is not the most important part of who you are or how you present yourself to others.\\n1-2. Give yourself a style makeover.\\nBuy clothes that fit you and make you feel powerful. Being comfortable with yourself is also dressing comfortably.\\nIt's also important to dress your body-- as it is now-- in clothes that fit it well now. Even if you plan to lose weight, wearing too-small clothes is not a way to feel confident in your current size.\\n1-3. Boost your confidence.\\nAct confident in your appearance. Feel good about how you look.\\nIf other people do not notice your appeal, act like they should and they will notice you.\\nFake confidence until you have it. Act like you feel good about yourself and you probably will start to feel so. \\nBe decisive. Take charge of situations and be assertive \\nChoose your spots. Don't exhaust yourself by acting confident all the time.\\n1-4. Be healthy.\\nBeing overweight does not mean you are unhealthy.\\nStaying healthy can make sure you feel better about yourself and your appearance, so maintain healthy eating and drinking habits.\\nDon't worry if you are overweight. You can still be healthy even if you are big for your age.\\n1-5. If you love to eat, try eating healthy foods like fruits and vegetables.\\nThey will help you feel better mentally. If you like junk food, however, don't eat so much. Try eating a small bowl of potato chips with a diet soda.\\n1-6. Go to the gym.\\nWorking out can help you stay healthy.\\nTry to do a bit of exercise everyday. \\nDo different workouts. Try walking one day and jogging the next. \\nDo some weightlifting. Don't hurt yourself, but see what you can do.\\n1-7. Don’t be extreme about your weight.\\nKeep a positive but realistic attitude about how much you weigh.\\nMiracle diets or diet pills are unhealthy. If it’s not tested/approved by the Food and Drug Administration, it could be a scam or lead to other costly health complications. \\nBe cautious of developing body issues. If you find yourself engaging in unhealthy eating behavior, make sure you realize it and get help.\\nDisorders like anorexia or bulimia are serious and do not make you healthier or skinnier. If you struggle with them, make sure to talk to someone.\\n1-8. Relax around others.\\nPeople often respond to those who are relaxed and at ease. Don’t be worried about your weight and others will not either.\\nShare yourself and your experiences. Others will find you fun and interesting.\\nHave good self-esteem. Feeling confident makes more confident.\\nThink of your favorite role models and imagine yourself being like them. People you admire likely have something that you recognize in yourself. Let your role models bring out the best in you.\\n2. Doing Well on the Outside\\n2-1. Show your best self.\\nTry to be confident in your other abilities and parts of yourself that aren’t visible.\\nHighlight your best qualities. You may be friendly, gentle, polite, funny, talkative, or honest.\\nDon’t be too shy. Even if you are a shy person, contributing in conversation draws people to you. \\nHave a good attitude. People like others based on how they act, not how they look. Feel good about yourself, your personality, and your abilities.\\n2-2. Be outgoing.\\nPut yourself out there. Making an effort to talk to people can help you get over being shy.\\nShow interest in others. Make new friends by asking questions and paying attention.\\nTry to be respectful of everyone around you, especially other overweight people (they may want to befriend you due to you both having similar problems). Include everyone and don’t focus on the negatives about any person.\\nKnow that not everyone will like you. Even if you’ve been friendly, some people still may not like you. Focus only on what you can control and don’t worry about them.\\n2-3. Don’t be sad and mopey.\\nAlways be cheerful and optimistic around others, since happiness is contagious.\\nLaugh at yourself, especially if you do anything dumb or clumsy. Don’t take yourself too seriously and have fun.\\nHave a smile for everyone. Smile at others to brighten up their day.\\nBe the first person to compliment or congratulate others. Don’t resent other people's accomplishments. Celebrate them for the great person they are.\\nDon’t try too hard. The important thing is to have good times with everyone around you.\\n3. Being a Complete Person\\n3-1. Focus on yourself.\\nCultivate yourself and your interests. Take some time to work and focus on yourself.\\nDon’t worry about being popular. Spend time with yourself first.\\nDo only things that you want to do. Don’t focus exclusively on what others want to do.\\nDevelop a strong sense of self-worth. Focus on yourself instead of popularity. You will be more secure when talk to others.\\n3-2. Cultivate interests.\\nHave interests outside of those of your friends. Make sure to spend time developing things that you like to do.\\nLearn to play an instrument. Music can help you to learn more about yourself. Playing an instrument can be a rewarding experience. \\nSpeak a foreign language. Picking up a new language is difficult, but it can be helpful in many ways. Learn more about a different culture while also picking up an important skill. \\nRead and expand your horizons. Studying is important as well as maintaining good grades. It can also help you learn more about yourself, and the world around you.\\nBe creative. Try out different artistic experiences to see if any fit you.\\n3-3. Ignore detractors.\\nDon’t let others bring you down. Ignore them so you can focus on positive interactions with others.\\nBe the smarter person and walk away if others make fun of you about your weight. Getting angry at them is not worth it. \\nDon’t engage in negative thinking. If people are mean to you, that’s not a reflection of you. Instead, it says a lot more about them and their insecurities.\\nDon’t let others make you feel insecure. Feel good because of who you are, not what other people think about you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you are overweight, it can be difficult to make friends. Some people may make fun of you for your weight. However, being overweight does not mean that you cannot be popular. It is important to not be overly concerned with being overweight, since there is so much more to a person than how much they weigh.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Comfortable with Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Feel good about your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are unhappy about your weight, you can still be happy about how you look in other ways. Try wearing different clothes, being more confident, or not worrying about what others are thinking and saying.\\nRealize that your weight is not the only thing that matters. It is not the most important part of who you are or how you present yourself to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a style makeover.\", \"描述\": \"Buy clothes that fit you and make you feel powerful. Being comfortable with yourself is also dressing comfortably.\\nIt's also important to dress your body-- as it is now-- in clothes that fit it well now. Even if you plan to lose weight, wearing too-small clothes is not a way to feel confident in your current size.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Boost your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Act confident in your appearance. Feel good about how you look.\\nIf other people do not notice your appeal, act like they should and they will notice you.\\nFake confidence until you have it. Act like you feel good about yourself and you probably will start to feel so. \\nBe decisive. Take charge of situations and be assertive \\nChoose your spots. Don't exhaust yourself by acting confident all the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be healthy.\", \"描述\": \"Being overweight does not mean you are unhealthy.\\nStaying healthy can make sure you feel better about yourself and your appearance, so maintain healthy eating and drinking habits.\\nDon't worry if you are overweight. You can still be healthy even if you are big for your age.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"If you love to eat, try eating healthy foods like fruits and vegetables.\", \"描述\": \"They will help you feel better mentally. If you like junk food, however, don't eat so much. Try eating a small bowl of potato chips with a diet soda.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go to the gym.\", \"描述\": \"Working out can help you stay healthy.\\nTry to do a bit of exercise everyday. \\nDo different workouts. Try walking one day and jogging the next. \\nDo some weightlifting. Don't hurt yourself, but see what you can do.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t be extreme about your weight.\", \"描述\": \"Keep a positive but realistic attitude about how much you weigh.\\nMiracle diets or diet pills are unhealthy. If it’s not tested/approved by the Food and Drug Administration, it could be a scam or lead to other costly health complications. \\nBe cautious of developing body issues. If you find yourself engaging in unhealthy eating behavior, make sure you realize it and get help.\\nDisorders like anorexia or bulimia are serious and do not make you healthier or skinnier. If you struggle with them, make sure to talk to someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Relax around others.\", \"描述\": \"People often respond to those who are relaxed and at ease. Don’t be worried about your weight and others will not either.\\nShare yourself and your experiences. Others will find you fun and interesting.\\nHave good self-esteem. Feeling confident makes more confident.\\nThink of your favorite role models and imagine yourself being like them. People you admire likely have something that you recognize in yourself. Let your role models bring out the best in you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doing Well on the Outside\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show your best self.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be confident in your other abilities and parts of yourself that aren’t visible.\\nHighlight your best qualities. You may be friendly, gentle, polite, funny, talkative, or honest.\\nDon’t be too shy. Even if you are a shy person, contributing in conversation draws people to you. \\nHave a good attitude. People like others based on how they act, not how they look. Feel good about yourself, your personality, and your abilities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be outgoing.\", \"描述\": \"Put yourself out there. Making an effort to talk to people can help you get over being shy.\\nShow interest in others. Make new friends by asking questions and paying attention.\\nTry to be respectful of everyone around you, especially other overweight people (they may want to befriend you due to you both having similar problems). Include everyone and don’t focus on the negatives about any person.\\nKnow that not everyone will like you. Even if you’ve been friendly, some people still may not like you. Focus only on what you can control and don’t worry about them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t be sad and mopey.\", \"描述\": \"Always be cheerful and optimistic around others, since happiness is contagious.\\nLaugh at yourself, especially if you do anything dumb or clumsy. Don’t take yourself too seriously and have fun.\\nHave a smile for everyone. Smile at others to brighten up their day.\\nBe the first person to compliment or congratulate others. Don’t resent other people's accomplishments. Celebrate them for the great person they are.\\nDon’t try too hard. The important thing is to have good times with everyone around you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being a Complete Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Cultivate yourself and your interests. Take some time to work and focus on yourself.\\nDon’t worry about being popular. Spend time with yourself first.\\nDo only things that you want to do. Don’t focus exclusively on what others want to do.\\nDevelop a strong sense of self-worth. Focus on yourself instead of popularity. You will be more secure when talk to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivate interests.\", \"描述\": \"Have interests outside of those of your friends. Make sure to spend time developing things that you like to do.\\nLearn to play an instrument. Music can help you to learn more about yourself. Playing an instrument can be a rewarding experience. \\nSpeak a foreign language. Picking up a new language is difficult, but it can be helpful in many ways. Learn more about a different culture while also picking up an important skill. \\nRead and expand your horizons. Studying is important as well as maintaining good grades. It can also help you learn more about yourself, and the world around you.\\nBe creative. Try out different artistic experiences to see if any fit you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ignore detractors.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t let others bring you down. Ignore them so you can focus on positive interactions with others.\\nBe the smarter person and walk away if others make fun of you about your weight. Getting angry at them is not worth it. \\nDon’t engage in negative thinking. If people are mean to you, that’s not a reflection of you. Instead, it says a lot more about them and their insecurities.\\nDon’t let others make you feel insecure. Feel good because of who you are, not what other people think about you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,018 | How to Be Passionate | 1. Taking Action
1-1. Learn everything you can about your passion.
If you want to really be passionate, then you have to be determined to learn everything there is to know about your passion and to continue to gain knowledge and know that there is always more to learn. Read all of the books, articles, and material that you can, take classes, read interviews, and do whatever you can to really feel like you have an understanding of what it means to succeed in your passion.
Remember that your job is never done. There is always more to read, more to learn, and more to do. If you feel like you really know everything there is to know about your field, then you risk getting complacent.
Subscribe to journals or relevant literature in your field so you are always getting the most up-to-date information about your passion.
1-2. Get advice and insight from other people in your field.
Though you can learn a lot from reading or watching videos, there’s something to be said for getting more hands-on information from people who know their stuff. Whether you’re talking to an expert in your field or another person who shares your passion, you can always get more advice, insight, and a fresh perspective from the people around you. Don’t ever think you have all of the answers and always make an effort to hear others out.
If you don’t know anyone in your field, ask other people if they can introduce you to people who can help you or email people to see if you can come in for an informational interview or just ask a few questions. You’ll find that most people are happy to share their insight, especially if it’s about something they care a lot about.
Talking to more people in your field can also help open up your mind to the idea that there’s more than one way of doing things when it comes to your passion. This can help you approach your passion with a more nuanced perspective.
1-3. Set goals and meet them.
If you want to really be passionate, then you have to have a plan. Though you may think of passion as this crazy, wild, unbridled thing that can’t be curbed, if you’re really serious about carrying it through, then you should have a plan for how to succeed in realizing your dreams and furthering your passion. Create a series of little goals that lead up to a larger goal so you feel motivated to succeed along the way.
Having a plan when it comes to your passion can help you articulate your dreams and give you a more concrete vision of what you need to do to make them happen.
Plus, if you’ve written out all of your little goals, then you’ll feel more motivated to reach them and more driven to make things happen. If you only have a vague idea about how to be passionate, then it’ll be harder to proceed.
1-4. Have a daily routine that helps you follow your passion.
If you really want to succeed at your passion, then you should have a routine that helps you do that. Of course, they say that passionate people wake up early, but many night owls do their best work in the evenings, so this may not apply to you. Find a routine that makes it possible for you to pursue your passion and to make the most of your time and abilities, and stick to it.
Make a daily schedule for yourself. This will make it more likely that you’ll stick to a routine. For example, if you want to be a writer, set aside time to read and to write every single day, no matter how busy you are.
Of course, it can’t all be hard work. You may have to plug in some “fun time” into your schedule too. Taking a break to relax from pursuing your passion can actually revitalize you and give you more energy to pursue your dreams.
If you have a friend who is pursuing similar goals, you can schedule time to work together, if your passion isn’t a solo pursuit. This can help motivate you and make you feel accountable when the time comes to stick to your routine.
1-5. Take a stand.
If you really love and care about something, then you can’t just keep it to yourself. If you recognize an injustice in the world, then you should make an effort to stand up against it, and to let the world at large see why this cause is important. Whether this means protesting, picketing a business you don’t agree with, respectfully telling your boss why a new company policy is not environmentally friendly, or boycotting something you don’t agree with, it’s important to stand up for what you’re passionate about if you really want to see it through.
Sure, it may not always be easy to stand up for what you believe in or to go against popular opinion, but if you really do care about your cause, then you can’t just follow the path of least resistance all the time.
You should be proud of yourself for going against what’s popular or right. Remind yourself that your cause or passion is bigger than you are and that you have to be willing to take a stand if you really do care.
1-6. Share your passion with others.
If you really care about something, then it’s likely that you won’t be able to stop talking about it. Though you don’t want to be the person who only talks about the thing he loves most in the world, you also want to be able to share how much you love your passion with the people around you. Whether you’re an English teacher who loves literature or a doctor who really cares about his patients, there’s no shame in letting your passion shine through or in telling other people you know about how much you love what you do.
Plus, sharing your passion with others can help you get a new perspective on the thing that you love. Maybe you’ll get another insight into how you can do what you do even better.
Sharing your enthusiasm with others can also remind you of how much you love whatever you do. Keeping it all to yourself can make your pursuit feel lonely or unrewarding. Sharing it with others can help you see why it’s important.
1-7. Learn from your mistakes.
Another key part of being a passionate person is being able to learn from your mistakes and using them to make you better at pursuing what you love. You don’t want to be the person who makes the same mistake again and again and who takes no steps to do better the next time around. Whenever you make a mistake, ask yourself what you could have done differently and how you can use that experience to succeed the next time around.
Don’t feel like you’ve completely wasted your time just because you failed. No failure is completely worth it and you can use it to help you the next time around. No experience should be discounted, and the effort you put into failing one time can actually benefit you the next time around.
If you’re given constructive criticism, make sure to use it as much as you can. Don’t be too proud to think that you have no room for improvement.
Make sure to take the time to regroup after every failure or mistake and to stop and ask yourself what you can do differently the next time around. If you blindly move toward your next venture after failing without stopping to ask yourself how to prevent the same thing from happening again, then you’re not likely to have different results the next time around.
1-8. Continue to work hard in the face of rejection.
If you really care about your passion, then you won’t let a few—or a few hundred—rejections stop you from doing what you really care about. People who truly care about their passions know that rejection is just part of the game and they learn to push past it and to continue to do what they love. If you expect to succeed after the first few tries, then you’ll have a hard time really making the most of your passion.
You can be the type of person who wallpapers your room with rejection letters as motivation or the kind who just shrugs and throws them away. The most important thing is not to let them define you.
2. Developing the Qualities of a Passionate Person
2-1. Be excited.
If you really want to be passionate, then you have to be the kind of person who gets excited about whatever he or she is doing. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about how much you love whatever it is you’re doing, to get all misty-eyed, to look forward to what lies ahead, and just to own whatever it is you’re doing. If you’re really passionate, then you have to get excited about what you’re more than the average person.
When people ask about what you’re doing, you shouldn’t try to downplay it; there’s no need to hide your excitement or how much you care. If you’re more concerned about looking cool than sharing what you care about, then you’ll never be truly passionate.
It can help to hang out with other people who are equally passionate about the same cause, or who are just passionate people who like talking about the things that make them tick. This can make you feel more comfortable about sharing your own feelings.
2-2. Be positive
People who are passionate tend to have an optimistic nature and believe that they can do whatever they want if they work hard enough. Though you will have setbacks, it’s important not to let them get you down and to focus on all of the good things you have to look forward to. Avoid whining or complaining too much and focus on talking about the things you’re excited about instead. Try to have a smile on your face, to radiate positive energy, and to focus on your achievements instead of your setbacks.
If you catch yourself making a particularly negative comment, then try to counter it with at least two positive ones. Surely there must be something you can be happy about!
Spending time with other positive people can help you be more positive in your own life. If everyone around you is a Negative Nancy, then yeah, you’re much more likely to be down about everything.
Make a gratitude list by writing down all of the things you are thankful for. This can help you see all of the things you have to be happy about.
2-3. Be brave
Being brave doesn’t mean fighting off enemies or dodging bullets; it means being willing to go out on a limb to fight for what you believe in. It means stepping into uncharted territory and not knowing what you’ll find out there. It means taking risks and going out on a limb even if you’re not sure if you’ll succeed. It means putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to criticism, even if you have a feeling it will hurt. Truly passionate people are known for their bravery.
Being brave also means being willing to challenge the status quo and to point out when you think a common way of doing things isn’t right after all. It means challenging authority when you think it’s necessary and making an effort to fight for your beliefs.
Being brave also means being willing to fail. You’ll never get anywhere if you play it safe. This can mean something as simple as interviewing for a position that sounds exciting but out of your comfort zone.
2-4. Be focused
People who are passionate don’t get distracted by too many side projects that have nothing to with achieving their goals. They approach their passions and life with a laser-like focus and are able to be selective about the projects they commit to so they don’t overextend themselves and lose time they could have spent on something they care about. They know how to block out the hate, the noise, the doubt, and the questions that can keep them from moving forward.
Though passionate people still know how to relax and have fun, they won’t get sidetracked for too long from doing what they planned to do. For example, if you’re really passionate about volunteering, then you won’t get persuaded into going on a trip to the beach with your friends instead of volunteering at an animal shelter, as you promised to do.
Passionate people realize how hard they have to work to accomplish what they have to accomplish and they don’t tend to procrastinate or forget the big picture for very long. That said, if they do get distracted, they don’t lose sleep over it and help themselves get back on track.
2-5. Be motivated
Passionate people know that there’s always room for improvement. They work hard to learn new things, gain new experiences, and to be the best versions of themselves that they can possibly be. They know that this takes time and they are prepared to recognize their own flaws and to work to address them; they’re okay with admitting that they’re not perfect and that they have room for growth.
People who are complacent are happy with being exactly the way they are. Passionate people are always asking themselves how they can be better.
Passionate people are also comfortable owning up to making a mistake. They’re comfortable admitting that they aren’t perfect.
2-6. Be curious
People who are truly passionate, whether it’s about a single cause or just about their everyday lives, are curious about the world around them. They ask lots of questions to gain more knowledge and are comfortable admitting when they don’t know the answer to a question. They try new things, try to get multiple perspectives on any given issue, and they’re motivated enough to do research on their own so they can learn even more.
Passionate people feel like they can never stop learning, whether they’re twenty-five or seventy-five. They continue to try to get a better sense of the world, while they’re comfortable admitting that they’ll never have all of the answers.
Passionate people recognize the value of having many meaningful connections so they can be exposed to many different opinions about how the world works. They aren’t satisfied with getting just one answer to anything.
3. Going Above and Beyond
3-1. Become a mentor.
One way to really go above and beyond in your passion is to become a mentor to other people who are just starting out in your field. Once you feel like you’ve really cut your teeth and have enough experience to share it with others, then you can take some people who share your passion under your wing, whether they are younger siblings, junior employees, or even people who ask you questions online. This can help you take on more of a leadership role and to further your passion by spreading the joy to others.
Once you feel established enough in your passion, you will feel a real joy in being able to help other people succeed in your field. You can think of it as sharing the love.
You don’t want to be one of those people who is so obsessed with his passion that he doesn’t want to help other people succeed in it because he thinks that there are too many actors/writers/bloggers in the world already.
If you know someone who is coming up in your field, you may even want to offer to help that person.
3-2. Share your passion over social media.
Another way to go above and beyond in your passion is to share how much you care with a wider audience over social media. As long as your messages aren’t too annoying or repetitive, sharing your interests, posting your essay, blogs, videos, or other relevant information to show how much you care, or just writing an occasional message to get the word out can get more people involved in your cause.
Just be ready for the fact that not everyone will care or agree with your message. That’s part of having a passion, though, right?
Make sure people feel like you’re trying to send a good message instead of self-promoting too much or doing things just to get attention.
3-3. Make sacrifices.
If you’re really passionate about something and want to devote yourself to it, then you will have to make some sacrifices along the way. Though you may not want to become monomaniacal (like Ahab and his whale) and give up absolutely everything for whatever it is you love, you should be prepared to give up some other things that you may love in order to really put your passion into practice. Here are some of the things that you may have to sacrifice:
Your social time. If you really want to succeed in your passion, then you may have to give up some of that time you love spending with your family, your friends, or your significant other.
Your sleep. Many people who live and breathe for their passions aren’t known for getting ten hours of shuteye a night.
Your free time. You may love lounging around, watching TV, or throwing a Frisbee to your dog, or reading magazines, but you’ll have to give some of that up.
3-4. Learn to find a balance in your life.
Though it’s important to make sacrifices if you really want to pursue your passion, you also have to be able to find a healthy balance that lets you live your life without too much stress or heartache. If you’re serious about following your passion but have other obligations, such as to your job, your friends, your family, or to your health, then you have to find a way to make time for your passion without completely giving up all of the other things that do matter to you.
It may help to make a schedule to let yourself have time to both pursue your passion and make time for your family and other important things in your life. This can help you transition between activities a bit more smoothly.
Of course, you can give everything else up and devote all of your time to your passion. But chances are that you’ll need a bit of a break or a change in scenery from time to time, or you may feel completely drained and exhausted when it comes to doing what you care about most.
3-5. Live in the present as much as you can.
If you really want to be passionate, then one thing you have to work on is living in the present moment and enjoying what you’re doing. Though it’s likely you have plenty of goals and a vision of the future that you want to have, if you really want to be passionate, then you have to work on giving in to the moment and really enjoying all of the effort you’re putting into your passion right when you’re working on it.
For example, if you’re working on a novel, your main goal may be to get it ready to send to an agent, who will hopefully sign you and then try to take it to the publishers when it’s ready. However, if you spend too much time stressing over the next steps, you may not be able to enjoy how much you love writing in the moment.
Plus, if you’re too worked up about the future while you’re pursuing your passion, you won’t be able to do as good of a job as you would do on it if you gave it your all in the moment.
3-6. Be proud of yourself for caring.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you’re really proud of the work that you do, whether you’re an Oscar-winning actress or someone who works her butt off to show up to every casting call. Most people out there don’t really have anything that they’re passionate about and you’ve gone the distance with caring about something that means the world to you, whether it’s a cause, an art form, or something else that gives your life meaning.
Trying is more than half the battle. Even if you may not be the best-selling writer, President, or top activist that you want to be, you should be proud of yourself for continuing to put yourself out there no matter what. Most people quit after failing a few times, and you’ve made it clear that you’re determined not to let anyone stand in your way.
Tips
Listen to that music that gets you going !
Don't worry about what others say or think: you have your own thing to achieve.
Do something for someone (for example, a quick-made breakfast or coffee), even if its the smallest thing: you see your flame of passion brightening their day.
Warnings
Do not lose your temper just to clarify what you want to say - just speak up what you think in a clear voice, and if necessary, take action (you will bring out your determined side!).
Don't be afraid to take some time apart from other people - it’s good to be alone sometimes in order for your independence to grow and for your batteries to get charged up !
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Action\\n1-1. Learn everything you can about your passion.\\nIf you want to really be passionate, then you have to be determined to learn everything there is to know about your passion and to continue to gain knowledge and know that there is always more to learn. Read all of the books, articles, and material that you can, take classes, read interviews, and do whatever you can to really feel like you have an understanding of what it means to succeed in your passion.\\nRemember that your job is never done. There is always more to read, more to learn, and more to do. If you feel like you really know everything there is to know about your field, then you risk getting complacent.\\nSubscribe to journals or relevant literature in your field so you are always getting the most up-to-date information about your passion.\\n1-2. Get advice and insight from other people in your field.\\nThough you can learn a lot from reading or watching videos, there’s something to be said for getting more hands-on information from people who know their stuff. Whether you’re talking to an expert in your field or another person who shares your passion, you can always get more advice, insight, and a fresh perspective from the people around you. Don’t ever think you have all of the answers and always make an effort to hear others out.\\nIf you don’t know anyone in your field, ask other people if they can introduce you to people who can help you or email people to see if you can come in for an informational interview or just ask a few questions. You’ll find that most people are happy to share their insight, especially if it’s about something they care a lot about.\\nTalking to more people in your field can also help open up your mind to the idea that there’s more than one way of doing things when it comes to your passion. This can help you approach your passion with a more nuanced perspective.\\n1-3. Set goals and meet them.\\nIf you want to really be passionate, then you have to have a plan. Though you may think of passion as this crazy, wild, unbridled thing that can’t be curbed, if you’re really serious about carrying it through, then you should have a plan for how to succeed in realizing your dreams and furthering your passion. Create a series of little goals that lead up to a larger goal so you feel motivated to succeed along the way.\\nHaving a plan when it comes to your passion can help you articulate your dreams and give you a more concrete vision of what you need to do to make them happen.\\nPlus, if you’ve written out all of your little goals, then you’ll feel more motivated to reach them and more driven to make things happen. If you only have a vague idea about how to be passionate, then it’ll be harder to proceed.\\n1-4. Have a daily routine that helps you follow your passion.\\nIf you really want to succeed at your passion, then you should have a routine that helps you do that. Of course, they say that passionate people wake up early, but many night owls do their best work in the evenings, so this may not apply to you. Find a routine that makes it possible for you to pursue your passion and to make the most of your time and abilities, and stick to it.\\nMake a daily schedule for yourself. This will make it more likely that you’ll stick to a routine. For example, if you want to be a writer, set aside time to read and to write every single day, no matter how busy you are.\\nOf course, it can’t all be hard work. You may have to plug in some “fun time” into your schedule too. Taking a break to relax from pursuing your passion can actually revitalize you and give you more energy to pursue your dreams.\\nIf you have a friend who is pursuing similar goals, you can schedule time to work together, if your passion isn’t a solo pursuit. This can help motivate you and make you feel accountable when the time comes to stick to your routine.\\n1-5. Take a stand.\\nIf you really love and care about something, then you can’t just keep it to yourself. If you recognize an injustice in the world, then you should make an effort to stand up against it, and to let the world at large see why this cause is important. Whether this means protesting, picketing a business you don’t agree with, respectfully telling your boss why a new company policy is not environmentally friendly, or boycotting something you don’t agree with, it’s important to stand up for what you’re passionate about if you really want to see it through.\\nSure, it may not always be easy to stand up for what you believe in or to go against popular opinion, but if you really do care about your cause, then you can’t just follow the path of least resistance all the time.\\nYou should be proud of yourself for going against what’s popular or right. Remind yourself that your cause or passion is bigger than you are and that you have to be willing to take a stand if you really do care.\\n1-6. Share your passion with others.\\nIf you really care about something, then it’s likely that you won’t be able to stop talking about it. Though you don’t want to be the person who only talks about the thing he loves most in the world, you also want to be able to share how much you love your passion with the people around you. Whether you’re an English teacher who loves literature or a doctor who really cares about his patients, there’s no shame in letting your passion shine through or in telling other people you know about how much you love what you do.\\nPlus, sharing your passion with others can help you get a new perspective on the thing that you love. Maybe you’ll get another insight into how you can do what you do even better.\\nSharing your enthusiasm with others can also remind you of how much you love whatever you do. Keeping it all to yourself can make your pursuit feel lonely or unrewarding. Sharing it with others can help you see why it’s important.\\n1-7. Learn from your mistakes.\\nAnother key part of being a passionate person is being able to learn from your mistakes and using them to make you better at pursuing what you love. You don’t want to be the person who makes the same mistake again and again and who takes no steps to do better the next time around. Whenever you make a mistake, ask yourself what you could have done differently and how you can use that experience to succeed the next time around.\\nDon’t feel like you’ve completely wasted your time just because you failed. No failure is completely worth it and you can use it to help you the next time around. No experience should be discounted, and the effort you put into failing one time can actually benefit you the next time around.\\nIf you’re given constructive criticism, make sure to use it as much as you can. Don’t be too proud to think that you have no room for improvement.\\nMake sure to take the time to regroup after every failure or mistake and to stop and ask yourself what you can do differently the next time around. If you blindly move toward your next venture after failing without stopping to ask yourself how to prevent the same thing from happening again, then you’re not likely to have different results the next time around.\\n1-8. Continue to work hard in the face of rejection.\\nIf you really care about your passion, then you won’t let a few—or a few hundred—rejections stop you from doing what you really care about. People who truly care about their passions know that rejection is just part of the game and they learn to push past it and to continue to do what they love. If you expect to succeed after the first few tries, then you’ll have a hard time really making the most of your passion.\\nYou can be the type of person who wallpapers your room with rejection letters as motivation or the kind who just shrugs and throws them away. The most important thing is not to let them define you.\\n2. Developing the Qualities of a Passionate Person\\n2-1. Be excited.\\nIf you really want to be passionate, then you have to be the kind of person who gets excited about whatever he or she is doing. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about how much you love whatever it is you’re doing, to get all misty-eyed, to look forward to what lies ahead, and just to own whatever it is you’re doing. If you’re really passionate, then you have to get excited about what you’re more than the average person.\\nWhen people ask about what you’re doing, you shouldn’t try to downplay it; there’s no need to hide your excitement or how much you care. If you’re more concerned about looking cool than sharing what you care about, then you’ll never be truly passionate.\\nIt can help to hang out with other people who are equally passionate about the same cause, or who are just passionate people who like talking about the things that make them tick. This can make you feel more comfortable about sharing your own feelings.\\n2-2. Be positive\\nPeople who are passionate tend to have an optimistic nature and believe that they can do whatever they want if they work hard enough. Though you will have setbacks, it’s important not to let them get you down and to focus on all of the good things you have to look forward to. Avoid whining or complaining too much and focus on talking about the things you’re excited about instead. Try to have a smile on your face, to radiate positive energy, and to focus on your achievements instead of your setbacks.\\nIf you catch yourself making a particularly negative comment, then try to counter it with at least two positive ones. Surely there must be something you can be happy about!\\nSpending time with other positive people can help you be more positive in your own life. If everyone around you is a Negative Nancy, then yeah, you’re much more likely to be down about everything.\\nMake a gratitude list by writing down all of the things you are thankful for. This can help you see all of the things you have to be happy about.\\n2-3. Be brave\\nBeing brave doesn’t mean fighting off enemies or dodging bullets; it means being willing to go out on a limb to fight for what you believe in. It means stepping into uncharted territory and not knowing what you’ll find out there. It means taking risks and going out on a limb even if you’re not sure if you’ll succeed. It means putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to criticism, even if you have a feeling it will hurt. Truly passionate people are known for their bravery.\\nBeing brave also means being willing to challenge the status quo and to point out when you think a common way of doing things isn’t right after all. It means challenging authority when you think it’s necessary and making an effort to fight for your beliefs.\\nBeing brave also means being willing to fail. You’ll never get anywhere if you play it safe. This can mean something as simple as interviewing for a position that sounds exciting but out of your comfort zone.\\n2-4. Be focused\\nPeople who are passionate don’t get distracted by too many side projects that have nothing to with achieving their goals. They approach their passions and life with a laser-like focus and are able to be selective about the projects they commit to so they don’t overextend themselves and lose time they could have spent on something they care about. They know how to block out the hate, the noise, the doubt, and the questions that can keep them from moving forward.\\nThough passionate people still know how to relax and have fun, they won’t get sidetracked for too long from doing what they planned to do. For example, if you’re really passionate about volunteering, then you won’t get persuaded into going on a trip to the beach with your friends instead of volunteering at an animal shelter, as you promised to do.\\nPassionate people realize how hard they have to work to accomplish what they have to accomplish and they don’t tend to procrastinate or forget the big picture for very long. That said, if they do get distracted, they don’t lose sleep over it and help themselves get back on track.\\n2-5. Be motivated\\nPassionate people know that there’s always room for improvement. They work hard to learn new things, gain new experiences, and to be the best versions of themselves that they can possibly be. They know that this takes time and they are prepared to recognize their own flaws and to work to address them; they’re okay with admitting that they’re not perfect and that they have room for growth.\\nPeople who are complacent are happy with being exactly the way they are. Passionate people are always asking themselves how they can be better.\\nPassionate people are also comfortable owning up to making a mistake. They’re comfortable admitting that they aren’t perfect.\\n2-6. Be curious\\nPeople who are truly passionate, whether it’s about a single cause or just about their everyday lives, are curious about the world around them. They ask lots of questions to gain more knowledge and are comfortable admitting when they don’t know the answer to a question. They try new things, try to get multiple perspectives on any given issue, and they’re motivated enough to do research on their own so they can learn even more.\\nPassionate people feel like they can never stop learning, whether they’re twenty-five or seventy-five. They continue to try to get a better sense of the world, while they’re comfortable admitting that they’ll never have all of the answers.\\nPassionate people recognize the value of having many meaningful connections so they can be exposed to many different opinions about how the world works. They aren’t satisfied with getting just one answer to anything.\\n3. Going Above and Beyond\\n3-1. Become a mentor.\\nOne way to really go above and beyond in your passion is to become a mentor to other people who are just starting out in your field. Once you feel like you’ve really cut your teeth and have enough experience to share it with others, then you can take some people who share your passion under your wing, whether they are younger siblings, junior employees, or even people who ask you questions online. This can help you take on more of a leadership role and to further your passion by spreading the joy to others.\\nOnce you feel established enough in your passion, you will feel a real joy in being able to help other people succeed in your field. You can think of it as sharing the love.\\nYou don’t want to be one of those people who is so obsessed with his passion that he doesn’t want to help other people succeed in it because he thinks that there are too many actors/writers/bloggers in the world already.\\nIf you know someone who is coming up in your field, you may even want to offer to help that person.\\n3-2. Share your passion over social media.\\nAnother way to go above and beyond in your passion is to share how much you care with a wider audience over social media. As long as your messages aren’t too annoying or repetitive, sharing your interests, posting your essay, blogs, videos, or other relevant information to show how much you care, or just writing an occasional message to get the word out can get more people involved in your cause.\\nJust be ready for the fact that not everyone will care or agree with your message. That’s part of having a passion, though, right?\\nMake sure people feel like you’re trying to send a good message instead of self-promoting too much or doing things just to get attention.\\n3-3. Make sacrifices.\\nIf you’re really passionate about something and want to devote yourself to it, then you will have to make some sacrifices along the way. Though you may not want to become monomaniacal (like Ahab and his whale) and give up absolutely everything for whatever it is you love, you should be prepared to give up some other things that you may love in order to really put your passion into practice. Here are some of the things that you may have to sacrifice:\\nYour social time. If you really want to succeed in your passion, then you may have to give up some of that time you love spending with your family, your friends, or your significant other.\\nYour sleep. Many people who live and breathe for their passions aren’t known for getting ten hours of shuteye a night.\\nYour free time. You may love lounging around, watching TV, or throwing a Frisbee to your dog, or reading magazines, but you’ll have to give some of that up.\\n3-4. Learn to find a balance in your life.\\nThough it’s important to make sacrifices if you really want to pursue your passion, you also have to be able to find a healthy balance that lets you live your life without too much stress or heartache. If you’re serious about following your passion but have other obligations, such as to your job, your friends, your family, or to your health, then you have to find a way to make time for your passion without completely giving up all of the other things that do matter to you.\\nIt may help to make a schedule to let yourself have time to both pursue your passion and make time for your family and other important things in your life. This can help you transition between activities a bit more smoothly.\\nOf course, you can give everything else up and devote all of your time to your passion. But chances are that you’ll need a bit of a break or a change in scenery from time to time, or you may feel completely drained and exhausted when it comes to doing what you care about most.\\n3-5. Live in the present as much as you can.\\nIf you really want to be passionate, then one thing you have to work on is living in the present moment and enjoying what you’re doing. Though it’s likely you have plenty of goals and a vision of the future that you want to have, if you really want to be passionate, then you have to work on giving in to the moment and really enjoying all of the effort you’re putting into your passion right when you’re working on it.\\nFor example, if you’re working on a novel, your main goal may be to get it ready to send to an agent, who will hopefully sign you and then try to take it to the publishers when it’s ready. However, if you spend too much time stressing over the next steps, you may not be able to enjoy how much you love writing in the moment.\\nPlus, if you’re too worked up about the future while you’re pursuing your passion, you won’t be able to do as good of a job as you would do on it if you gave it your all in the moment.\\n3-6. Be proud of yourself for caring.\\nAt the end of the day, the most important thing is that you’re really proud of the work that you do, whether you’re an Oscar-winning actress or someone who works her butt off to show up to every casting call. Most people out there don’t really have anything that they’re passionate about and you’ve gone the distance with caring about something that means the world to you, whether it’s a cause, an art form, or something else that gives your life meaning.\\nTrying is more than half the battle. Even if you may not be the best-selling writer, President, or top activist that you want to be, you should be proud of yourself for continuing to put yourself out there no matter what. Most people quit after failing a few times, and you’ve made it clear that you’re determined not to let anyone stand in your way.\\nTips\\nListen to that music that gets you going !\\nDon't worry about what others say or think: you have your own thing to achieve.\\nDo something for someone (for example, a quick-made breakfast or coffee), even if its the smallest thing: you see your flame of passion brightening their day.\\nWarnings\\nDo not lose your temper just to clarify what you want to say - just speak up what you think in a clear voice, and if necessary, take action (you will bring out your determined side!).\\nDon't be afraid to take some time apart from other people - it’s good to be alone sometimes in order for your independence to grow and for your batteries to get charged up !\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being passionate requires dedication, hard work, focus, and the willingness to fail over and over again. However, if you’re ready to put in the work, then being a passionate person who knows what he wants can bring excitement, joy, and a sense of true purpose to your life. If you want to be passionate, then you have to know what you want and be willing to work hard to go after it, even if it means making more than a few sacrifices along the way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn everything you can about your passion.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to really be passionate, then you have to be determined to learn everything there is to know about your passion and to continue to gain knowledge and know that there is always more to learn. Read all of the books, articles, and material that you can, take classes, read interviews, and do whatever you can to really feel like you have an understanding of what it means to succeed in your passion.\\nRemember that your job is never done. There is always more to read, more to learn, and more to do. If you feel like you really know everything there is to know about your field, then you risk getting complacent.\\nSubscribe to journals or relevant literature in your field so you are always getting the most up-to-date information about your passion.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get advice and insight from other people in your field.\", \"描述\": \"Though you can learn a lot from reading or watching videos, there’s something to be said for getting more hands-on information from people who know their stuff. Whether you’re talking to an expert in your field or another person who shares your passion, you can always get more advice, insight, and a fresh perspective from the people around you. Don’t ever think you have all of the answers and always make an effort to hear others out.\\nIf you don’t know anyone in your field, ask other people if they can introduce you to people who can help you or email people to see if you can come in for an informational interview or just ask a few questions. You’ll find that most people are happy to share their insight, especially if it’s about something they care a lot about.\\nTalking to more people in your field can also help open up your mind to the idea that there’s more than one way of doing things when it comes to your passion. This can help you approach your passion with a more nuanced perspective.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set goals and meet them.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to really be passionate, then you have to have a plan. Though you may think of passion as this crazy, wild, unbridled thing that can’t be curbed, if you’re really serious about carrying it through, then you should have a plan for how to succeed in realizing your dreams and furthering your passion. Create a series of little goals that lead up to a larger goal so you feel motivated to succeed along the way.\\nHaving a plan when it comes to your passion can help you articulate your dreams and give you a more concrete vision of what you need to do to make them happen.\\nPlus, if you’ve written out all of your little goals, then you’ll feel more motivated to reach them and more driven to make things happen. If you only have a vague idea about how to be passionate, then it’ll be harder to proceed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a daily routine that helps you follow your passion.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to succeed at your passion, then you should have a routine that helps you do that. Of course, they say that passionate people wake up early, but many night owls do their best work in the evenings, so this may not apply to you. Find a routine that makes it possible for you to pursue your passion and to make the most of your time and abilities, and stick to it.\\nMake a daily schedule for yourself. This will make it more likely that you’ll stick to a routine. For example, if you want to be a writer, set aside time to read and to write every single day, no matter how busy you are.\\nOf course, it can’t all be hard work. You may have to plug in some “fun time” into your schedule too. Taking a break to relax from pursuing your passion can actually revitalize you and give you more energy to pursue your dreams.\\nIf you have a friend who is pursuing similar goals, you can schedule time to work together, if your passion isn’t a solo pursuit. This can help motivate you and make you feel accountable when the time comes to stick to your routine.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take a stand.\", \"描述\": \"If you really love and care about something, then you can’t just keep it to yourself. If you recognize an injustice in the world, then you should make an effort to stand up against it, and to let the world at large see why this cause is important. Whether this means protesting, picketing a business you don’t agree with, respectfully telling your boss why a new company policy is not environmentally friendly, or boycotting something you don’t agree with, it’s important to stand up for what you’re passionate about if you really want to see it through.\\nSure, it may not always be easy to stand up for what you believe in or to go against popular opinion, but if you really do care about your cause, then you can’t just follow the path of least resistance all the time.\\nYou should be proud of yourself for going against what’s popular or right. Remind yourself that your cause or passion is bigger than you are and that you have to be willing to take a stand if you really do care.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Share your passion with others.\", \"描述\": \"If you really care about something, then it’s likely that you won’t be able to stop talking about it. Though you don’t want to be the person who only talks about the thing he loves most in the world, you also want to be able to share how much you love your passion with the people around you. Whether you’re an English teacher who loves literature or a doctor who really cares about his patients, there’s no shame in letting your passion shine through or in telling other people you know about how much you love what you do.\\nPlus, sharing your passion with others can help you get a new perspective on the thing that you love. Maybe you’ll get another insight into how you can do what you do even better.\\nSharing your enthusiasm with others can also remind you of how much you love whatever you do. Keeping it all to yourself can make your pursuit feel lonely or unrewarding. Sharing it with others can help you see why it’s important.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Learn from your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Another key part of being a passionate person is being able to learn from your mistakes and using them to make you better at pursuing what you love. You don’t want to be the person who makes the same mistake again and again and who takes no steps to do better the next time around. Whenever you make a mistake, ask yourself what you could have done differently and how you can use that experience to succeed the next time around.\\nDon’t feel like you’ve completely wasted your time just because you failed. No failure is completely worth it and you can use it to help you the next time around. No experience should be discounted, and the effort you put into failing one time can actually benefit you the next time around.\\nIf you’re given constructive criticism, make sure to use it as much as you can. Don’t be too proud to think that you have no room for improvement.\\nMake sure to take the time to regroup after every failure or mistake and to stop and ask yourself what you can do differently the next time around. If you blindly move toward your next venture after failing without stopping to ask yourself how to prevent the same thing from happening again, then you’re not likely to have different results the next time around.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Continue to work hard in the face of rejection.\", \"描述\": \"If you really care about your passion, then you won’t let a few—or a few hundred—rejections stop you from doing what you really care about. People who truly care about their passions know that rejection is just part of the game and they learn to push past it and to continue to do what they love. If you expect to succeed after the first few tries, then you’ll have a hard time really making the most of your passion.\\nYou can be the type of person who wallpapers your room with rejection letters as motivation or the kind who just shrugs and throws them away. The most important thing is not to let them define you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing the Qualities of a Passionate Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be excited.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be passionate, then you have to be the kind of person who gets excited about whatever he or she is doing. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about how much you love whatever it is you’re doing, to get all misty-eyed, to look forward to what lies ahead, and just to own whatever it is you’re doing. If you’re really passionate, then you have to get excited about what you’re more than the average person.\\nWhen people ask about what you’re doing, you shouldn’t try to downplay it; there’s no need to hide your excitement or how much you care. If you’re more concerned about looking cool than sharing what you care about, then you’ll never be truly passionate.\\nIt can help to hang out with other people who are equally passionate about the same cause, or who are just passionate people who like talking about the things that make them tick. This can make you feel more comfortable about sharing your own feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be positive\", \"描述\": \"People who are passionate tend to have an optimistic nature and believe that they can do whatever they want if they work hard enough. Though you will have setbacks, it’s important not to let them get you down and to focus on all of the good things you have to look forward to. Avoid whining or complaining too much and focus on talking about the things you’re excited about instead. Try to have a smile on your face, to radiate positive energy, and to focus on your achievements instead of your setbacks.\\nIf you catch yourself making a particularly negative comment, then try to counter it with at least two positive ones. Surely there must be something you can be happy about!\\nSpending time with other positive people can help you be more positive in your own life. If everyone around you is a Negative Nancy, then yeah, you’re much more likely to be down about everything.\\nMake a gratitude list by writing down all of the things you are thankful for. This can help you see all of the things you have to be happy about.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be brave\", \"描述\": \"Being brave doesn’t mean fighting off enemies or dodging bullets; it means being willing to go out on a limb to fight for what you believe in. It means stepping into uncharted territory and not knowing what you’ll find out there. It means taking risks and going out on a limb even if you’re not sure if you’ll succeed. It means putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to criticism, even if you have a feeling it will hurt. Truly passionate people are known for their bravery.\\nBeing brave also means being willing to challenge the status quo and to point out when you think a common way of doing things isn’t right after all. It means challenging authority when you think it’s necessary and making an effort to fight for your beliefs.\\nBeing brave also means being willing to fail. You’ll never get anywhere if you play it safe. This can mean something as simple as interviewing for a position that sounds exciting but out of your comfort zone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be focused\", \"描述\": \"People who are passionate don’t get distracted by too many side projects that have nothing to with achieving their goals. They approach their passions and life with a laser-like focus and are able to be selective about the projects they commit to so they don’t overextend themselves and lose time they could have spent on something they care about. They know how to block out the hate, the noise, the doubt, and the questions that can keep them from moving forward.\\nThough passionate people still know how to relax and have fun, they won’t get sidetracked for too long from doing what they planned to do. For example, if you’re really passionate about volunteering, then you won’t get persuaded into going on a trip to the beach with your friends instead of volunteering at an animal shelter, as you promised to do.\\nPassionate people realize how hard they have to work to accomplish what they have to accomplish and they don’t tend to procrastinate or forget the big picture for very long. That said, if they do get distracted, they don’t lose sleep over it and help themselves get back on track.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be motivated\", \"描述\": \"Passionate people know that there’s always room for improvement. They work hard to learn new things, gain new experiences, and to be the best versions of themselves that they can possibly be. They know that this takes time and they are prepared to recognize their own flaws and to work to address them; they’re okay with admitting that they’re not perfect and that they have room for growth.\\nPeople who are complacent are happy with being exactly the way they are. Passionate people are always asking themselves how they can be better.\\nPassionate people are also comfortable owning up to making a mistake. They’re comfortable admitting that they aren’t perfect.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be curious\", \"描述\": \"People who are truly passionate, whether it’s about a single cause or just about their everyday lives, are curious about the world around them. They ask lots of questions to gain more knowledge and are comfortable admitting when they don’t know the answer to a question. They try new things, try to get multiple perspectives on any given issue, and they’re motivated enough to do research on their own so they can learn even more.\\nPassionate people feel like they can never stop learning, whether they’re twenty-five or seventy-five. They continue to try to get a better sense of the world, while they’re comfortable admitting that they’ll never have all of the answers.\\nPassionate people recognize the value of having many meaningful connections so they can be exposed to many different opinions about how the world works. They aren’t satisfied with getting just one answer to anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going Above and Beyond\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Become a mentor.\", \"描述\": \"One way to really go above and beyond in your passion is to become a mentor to other people who are just starting out in your field. Once you feel like you’ve really cut your teeth and have enough experience to share it with others, then you can take some people who share your passion under your wing, whether they are younger siblings, junior employees, or even people who ask you questions online. This can help you take on more of a leadership role and to further your passion by spreading the joy to others.\\nOnce you feel established enough in your passion, you will feel a real joy in being able to help other people succeed in your field. You can think of it as sharing the love.\\nYou don’t want to be one of those people who is so obsessed with his passion that he doesn’t want to help other people succeed in it because he thinks that there are too many actors/writers/bloggers in the world already.\\nIf you know someone who is coming up in your field, you may even want to offer to help that person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share your passion over social media.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to go above and beyond in your passion is to share how much you care with a wider audience over social media. As long as your messages aren’t too annoying or repetitive, sharing your interests, posting your essay, blogs, videos, or other relevant information to show how much you care, or just writing an occasional message to get the word out can get more people involved in your cause.\\nJust be ready for the fact that not everyone will care or agree with your message. That’s part of having a passion, though, right?\\nMake sure people feel like you’re trying to send a good message instead of self-promoting too much or doing things just to get attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sacrifices.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re really passionate about something and want to devote yourself to it, then you will have to make some sacrifices along the way. Though you may not want to become monomaniacal (like Ahab and his whale) and give up absolutely everything for whatever it is you love, you should be prepared to give up some other things that you may love in order to really put your passion into practice. Here are some of the things that you may have to sacrifice:\\nYour social time. If you really want to succeed in your passion, then you may have to give up some of that time you love spending with your family, your friends, or your significant other.\\nYour sleep. Many people who live and breathe for their passions aren’t known for getting ten hours of shuteye a night.\\nYour free time. You may love lounging around, watching TV, or throwing a Frisbee to your dog, or reading magazines, but you’ll have to give some of that up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to find a balance in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Though it’s important to make sacrifices if you really want to pursue your passion, you also have to be able to find a healthy balance that lets you live your life without too much stress or heartache. If you’re serious about following your passion but have other obligations, such as to your job, your friends, your family, or to your health, then you have to find a way to make time for your passion without completely giving up all of the other things that do matter to you.\\nIt may help to make a schedule to let yourself have time to both pursue your passion and make time for your family and other important things in your life. This can help you transition between activities a bit more smoothly.\\nOf course, you can give everything else up and devote all of your time to your passion. But chances are that you’ll need a bit of a break or a change in scenery from time to time, or you may feel completely drained and exhausted when it comes to doing what you care about most.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Live in the present as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be passionate, then one thing you have to work on is living in the present moment and enjoying what you’re doing. Though it’s likely you have plenty of goals and a vision of the future that you want to have, if you really want to be passionate, then you have to work on giving in to the moment and really enjoying all of the effort you’re putting into your passion right when you’re working on it.\\nFor example, if you’re working on a novel, your main goal may be to get it ready to send to an agent, who will hopefully sign you and then try to take it to the publishers when it’s ready. However, if you spend too much time stressing over the next steps, you may not be able to enjoy how much you love writing in the moment.\\nPlus, if you’re too worked up about the future while you’re pursuing your passion, you won’t be able to do as good of a job as you would do on it if you gave it your all in the moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be proud of yourself for caring.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you’re really proud of the work that you do, whether you’re an Oscar-winning actress or someone who works her butt off to show up to every casting call. Most people out there don’t really have anything that they’re passionate about and you’ve gone the distance with caring about something that means the world to you, whether it’s a cause, an art form, or something else that gives your life meaning.\\nTrying is more than half the battle. Even if you may not be the best-selling writer, President, or top activist that you want to be, you should be proud of yourself for continuing to put yourself out there no matter what. Most people quit after failing a few times, and you’ve made it clear that you’re determined not to let anyone stand in your way.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Listen to that music that gets you going !\\n\", \"Don't worry about what others say or think: you have your own thing to achieve.\\n\", \"Do something for someone (for example, a quick-made breakfast or coffee), even if its the smallest thing: you see your flame of passion brightening their day.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not lose your temper just to clarify what you want to say - just speak up what you think in a clear voice, and if necessary, take action (you will bring out your determined side!).\\n\", \"Don't be afraid to take some time apart from other people - it’s good to be alone sometimes in order for your independence to grow and for your batteries to get charged up !\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,019 | How to Be Patient | 1. Exercising Patience in the Moment
1-1. Pick up on the thoughts and physical feelings of being impatient.
If you’re in a stressful situation, be alert to thoughts that hint that you might be getting impatient, such as “This is taking forever,” or “This person is being so annoying.” When you pick up on these impatient thoughts, stop and check in with your body to see what you’re feeling, physically. You’ll probably be able to recognize signs of impatience right away, and identifying them can help you start to counteract your frustration. Some physical signs could include:
Tension in your muscles
Restless, jiggling feet or legs
Clenching your hands
Short breaths
An elevated heart rate
Irritability or anger
1-2. Figure out what’s causing your impatience.
Once you’ve recognized that you’re feeling impatient, it’s time to hunt down the cause. Think past your immediate frustration and ask yourself, “Why am I actually feeling this way?” Some common causes of impatience are:
Your environment not conforming to your expectations. For example, you might hit unexpected traffic, or a restaurant might be more crowded than you’d thought, making you feel irritated and frustrated.
Other people not behaving the way you want them to. For instance, you might get impatient that someone in front of you at the grocery store is blocking the whole aisle or chatting with the clerk for too long.
When you can’t master a new skill fast enough. You might get impatient, for example, if you can’t figure out a new math or computer concept. You may have an unrealistic expectation that you will quickly grasp all new concepts.
When you can’t control your thoughts. You might get impatient with yourself for not being able to dictate what emotions and thoughts pop up in your mind, even if you recognize there’s not much you can do to stop it.
1-3. Take a moment to ground yourself.
Taking small, easy actions can break up the cycle of your impatience before it can progress, giving you a chance to regroup yourself. Focusing on your movements and the physical sensations of your actions will distract you from your impatience.
One good way to ground yourself is to focus on your environment. For example, you might take a few moments to think about how your feet feel when you are standing on the floor, what it feels like to sit in a chair, or the sensation of an object in your hand.
You can also try a simple grounding exercise like looking for 3 things in your environment that are blue. These simple actions help bring you back into the present moment.
1-4. Take 5 deep breaths to slow your heart rate down.
Close your eyes and inhale deeply into your belly. Hold it for a second, the let the air out slowly. Feel your body calm down and let that physical relaxation flow into your mind, soothing your impatient thoughts.
Besides calming your body, taking a few deep breaths will force you to slow down before you say or do anything rash.
1-5. Shift your perspective about your situation if you can.
Most situations that make you feel impatient are ones that can’t easily be changed (if there was an easy solution, you probably would have found it already!). Instead of focusing on this feeling of powerlessness, concentrate on what can be changed: your attitude and perspective of the situation. Say to yourself, “Since I can’t remove myself completely from this situation, how can I make it better?”
If you’re frustrated with an essay you’re writing, for example, you could focus on making your environment more pleasant. Put on music that helps you concentrate, make some tea, or have a snack.
You can also address head-on what’s really bothering you about the situation, such as the fact that the essay is taking a long time to write. For example, you could cover up your clock so you don’t feel a time crunch.
1-6. Find something good or interesting in the situation if you can.
If you can’t change your situation, the best thing you can do is change your perspective on it. Ask yourself to find something positive about where you are right now and focus on that instead of your impatience. It might be hard at first--like a lot of negative emotions, impatience can make you feel good and powerful in the moment--but forcing yourself to focus on the positive will make you feel much better in the long run.
If you’re stuck in traffic, for example, chat with another person in the car or, if your car has Bluetooth capability, call a friend or family member. Change the radio station or put in a new CD and sing along.
If you are stuck in a tedious or frustrating situation, try making productive use of your time. For example, if you’re driving, listen to an interesting audiobook. If you have to sit in a doctor’s office for a long time, try to bring a project with you to work on.
2. Working Towards Long-Term Patience
2-1. Keep a journal to look for patterns in your impatience.
Carry a small notebook around with you and make a note of every time you feel impatient. Write down the date, the time, what you’re feeling impatient about, and how that impatience makes you feel physically and emotionally. After 2 weeks, read back your journal and look for what kinds of situations make you feel the most impatient.
For example, you might realize that your impatience stems from getting frustrated at other people. You might write, “June 1, math class, 2pm. I felt impatient because John was working so slowly. My muscles started feeling tense.”
Journaling about your frustrations has the added bonus of letting you vent your emotions, which can make you feel calmer and less stressed.
Your impatience might be triggered by situations, environmental stimuli, or even your physical state. For example, you may find that you feel more impatient when you spend a lot of time on social media. Some people also feel more impatient when they eat or drink certain things, such as coffee and other caffeinated beverages.
2-2. Create a personal strategy to counteract your triggers.
Sit down with your journal and write out a list of the things that seem to trigger your impatience most often. Ask yourself what you can do to neutralize your impatience in these situations and write down a step-by-step list of things you can do anywhere and anytime they come up.
For example, if you often get impatient with your friends or family members, your strategy might be: “Take 3 deep breaths. Explain why you’re feeling frustrated. Take a break and walk away if you’re still feeling impatient.”
If you find that your impatience is made worse by certain foods or drinks, try cutting them out of your diet.
If social media frustrates you and gets you down, consider turning off your phone alerts or using an app or plugin that prevents you from logging on for a few hours during the day.
Get creative with your solutions and try different things to see what works best. Give yourself time to change; it won’t happen overnight, but you’ll be able to improve yourself in time.
2-3. Practice short meditations to use when you feel impatient.
Take each moment of potential impatience as an opportunity to focus on your breath and check in with yourself. Center yourself on your feet or in your chair, and breathe deeply, noticing the pattern of your inhalations and exhalations. Close your eyes if you can, or focus on a still point across the room.
Practice doing these quick meditations a few times a day, even when you’re not feeling impatient. Getting comfortable meditating when you’re calm will make it easier to do so in the heat of the moment.
2-4. Adjust your expectations.
The world will not always conform to your hopes, and you will be very frustrated if you constantly get upset when people, places, or things do not meet up to impossible standards. If you are impatient, it may be because you need to re-think the expectations. For example:
If you are impatient in your weight loss plan, you may need to remind yourself the excess weight did not all go on in a week, and it will take time for it to come off.
If you find yourself impatient because of traffic, you may need to rethink your belief that your commute takes 20 minutes if in reality it usually takes an average of 35. Just because that one time it took 20 minutes does not mean every trip to work should be expected to take 20 minutes.
If you get frustrated that your partner chronically forgets your anniversary, and this is upsetting to you, instead choose to accept that remembering this date does not come as naturally as it does for you. Put the date on a shared calendar and ask him a week in advance to plan together some enjoyable activities.
2-5. Exercise regularly to relieve pent-up stress.
Try to fit in a little bit of exercise every day, even if it’s just a quick walk or a jog up and down the stairs. Getting exercise will burn off the stress hormones that are shortening your fuse, making it easier to maintain your cool in intense situations.
If you have time, try to incorporate more intense physical activity too, like jogging, swimming, biking, or doing light weights.
Sometimes you can use exercise to counteract your impatience in the moment. If you’re feeling impatient while working on a project, for example, get up from your desk and take a five-minute walk.
If you’re stuck in traffic, try moving your arms and head to the beat of your music.
2-6. Be prepared to fend off impatience caused by long waits.
Many people get impatient when they’re forced to wait for a long time, like at a slow restaurant or doctor’s office. If you can distract yourself with other activities while you wait, it will be much easier to stay patient.
For example, you could pack a book, a crossword puzzle, or a travel-size game when you think you might have to wait for a while, such as at the doctor’s office or a crowded grocery store.
You can also distract yourself with whatever is at hand. Listen in on other people’s conversations, look at the other drivers stuck in traffic with you, or read the headlines of magazines or newspapers while you wait in line.
2-7. Ask for help when you’re feeling overloaded.
Impatience can be a sign of burnout. If you feel stressed, irritable, or impatient a lot of the time, these are signs that you’re under too much pressure. Look for tasks that you can delegate and talk to a friend, family member, or co-worker to see if they can help. Taking some of the pressure off of yourself will lower your stress levels and make you less likely to get impatient in the first place.
For example, if you’re feeling frustrated about a project, talk to your boss or teacher about getting some help from or a co-worker or fellow student.
Say, “I’ve been working really hard on this, but it’s becoming too much for me my own. Could I get a partner to divide the work with?”
Never feel bad about asking for help, especially when it has to do with your mental health. People will often be happy to help, and you’ll feel much more relaxed when you’re able to share the burden.
3. Accepting What You Can’t Change
3-1. Practice putting your impatience in perspective.
When you’re caught up in a task in the heat of the moment, it might feel crucial for something to get done right now--and thinking about what might happen if it doesn’t get done is what fuels your impatience. Instead, ask yourself, “Why am I in such a hurry?” Even if the task is finished a little late, it will still get done and everything will work out.
In true cases of life or death, broadening your perspective might not help. For example, if you’re waiting for an ambulance to help an injured person, it may matter very much whether the ambulance arrives late.
In this situation, channel your impatience into doing whatever you can, whether that’s making the person comfortable or giving more information to the emergency line operator.
3-2. Be kind to yourself
If your impatience centers around getting frustrated with yourself, take a step back and realize that you can only expect so much from yourself. It’s great to want to improve yourself and learn new skills, but beating yourself up will only make you lose self-confidence. Instead, face your shortcomings head-on and see how you can work around them, or even make them into positives.
Feeling impatient with yourself often stems from the idea that it’s always better to go faster, which isn’t necessarily true.
By proceeding slowly and patiently, you’ll understand the concept more deeply, and might even enjoy yourself more along the way.
Remember that most things take time and effort to master. Being patient with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.
3-3. Accept that your expectations might not always be met.
Most impatience comes from being frustrated that people or situations don’t match up to what you expect. Instead of needing things to be a certain way, loosen your grip on your expectations and look forward to the surprises that come your way. Accept that people and situations will never be perfect and take life’s twists and turns with grace and humor.
For example, instead of losing your patience when a friend spills a drink, remember that it was an accident and no one is perfect. Take a moment to breathe, reassure them that it’s okay, and move on.
3-4. List the things you feel grateful for every day.
Studies have shown that people who show gratitude in their day-to-day life are more likely to be patient and have better self-control. Practice this by coming up with 3-4 things every day that you’re grateful for. Take a moment to savor the feeling of thankfulness and center yourself in it.
You might say, for example, that you’re grateful to have a roof over your head, dreams and goals for the future, and friends that love you.
3-5. Build your self-confidence
Everyone comes up against obstacles in their lives that seem impossible to overcome. Cultivating your self-confidence will help you realize that you’re smart and strong enough to find ways around these obstacles, no matter how impatient or upset you might feel.
For example, you might feel frustrated when you’re applying to jobs but can’t seem to catch a break. Being confident in yourself will keep you optimistic and help motivate you to keep working hard until things look up.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Exercising Patience in the Moment\\n1-1. Pick up on the thoughts and physical feelings of being impatient.\\nIf you’re in a stressful situation, be alert to thoughts that hint that you might be getting impatient, such as “This is taking forever,” or “This person is being so annoying.” When you pick up on these impatient thoughts, stop and check in with your body to see what you’re feeling, physically. You’ll probably be able to recognize signs of impatience right away, and identifying them can help you start to counteract your frustration. Some physical signs could include:\\nTension in your muscles\\nRestless, jiggling feet or legs\\nClenching your hands\\nShort breaths\\nAn elevated heart rate\\nIrritability or anger\\n1-2. Figure out what’s causing your impatience.\\nOnce you’ve recognized that you’re feeling impatient, it’s time to hunt down the cause. Think past your immediate frustration and ask yourself, “Why am I actually feeling this way?” Some common causes of impatience are:\\nYour environment not conforming to your expectations. For example, you might hit unexpected traffic, or a restaurant might be more crowded than you’d thought, making you feel irritated and frustrated.\\nOther people not behaving the way you want them to. For instance, you might get impatient that someone in front of you at the grocery store is blocking the whole aisle or chatting with the clerk for too long.\\nWhen you can’t master a new skill fast enough. You might get impatient, for example, if you can’t figure out a new math or computer concept. You may have an unrealistic expectation that you will quickly grasp all new concepts.\\nWhen you can’t control your thoughts. You might get impatient with yourself for not being able to dictate what emotions and thoughts pop up in your mind, even if you recognize there’s not much you can do to stop it.\\n1-3. Take a moment to ground yourself.\\nTaking small, easy actions can break up the cycle of your impatience before it can progress, giving you a chance to regroup yourself. Focusing on your movements and the physical sensations of your actions will distract you from your impatience.\\nOne good way to ground yourself is to focus on your environment. For example, you might take a few moments to think about how your feet feel when you are standing on the floor, what it feels like to sit in a chair, or the sensation of an object in your hand.\\nYou can also try a simple grounding exercise like looking for 3 things in your environment that are blue. These simple actions help bring you back into the present moment.\\n1-4. Take 5 deep breaths to slow your heart rate down.\\nClose your eyes and inhale deeply into your belly. Hold it for a second, the let the air out slowly. Feel your body calm down and let that physical relaxation flow into your mind, soothing your impatient thoughts.\\nBesides calming your body, taking a few deep breaths will force you to slow down before you say or do anything rash.\\n1-5. Shift your perspective about your situation if you can.\\nMost situations that make you feel impatient are ones that can’t easily be changed (if there was an easy solution, you probably would have found it already!). Instead of focusing on this feeling of powerlessness, concentrate on what can be changed: your attitude and perspective of the situation. Say to yourself, “Since I can’t remove myself completely from this situation, how can I make it better?”\\nIf you’re frustrated with an essay you’re writing, for example, you could focus on making your environment more pleasant. Put on music that helps you concentrate, make some tea, or have a snack.\\nYou can also address head-on what’s really bothering you about the situation, such as the fact that the essay is taking a long time to write. For example, you could cover up your clock so you don’t feel a time crunch.\\n1-6. Find something good or interesting in the situation if you can.\\nIf you can’t change your situation, the best thing you can do is change your perspective on it. Ask yourself to find something positive about where you are right now and focus on that instead of your impatience. It might be hard at first--like a lot of negative emotions, impatience can make you feel good and powerful in the moment--but forcing yourself to focus on the positive will make you feel much better in the long run.\\nIf you’re stuck in traffic, for example, chat with another person in the car or, if your car has Bluetooth capability, call a friend or family member. Change the radio station or put in a new CD and sing along.\\nIf you are stuck in a tedious or frustrating situation, try making productive use of your time. For example, if you’re driving, listen to an interesting audiobook. If you have to sit in a doctor’s office for a long time, try to bring a project with you to work on.\\n2. Working Towards Long-Term Patience\\n2-1. Keep a journal to look for patterns in your impatience.\\nCarry a small notebook around with you and make a note of every time you feel impatient. Write down the date, the time, what you’re feeling impatient about, and how that impatience makes you feel physically and emotionally. After 2 weeks, read back your journal and look for what kinds of situations make you feel the most impatient.\\nFor example, you might realize that your impatience stems from getting frustrated at other people. You might write, “June 1, math class, 2pm. I felt impatient because John was working so slowly. My muscles started feeling tense.”\\nJournaling about your frustrations has the added bonus of letting you vent your emotions, which can make you feel calmer and less stressed.\\nYour impatience might be triggered by situations, environmental stimuli, or even your physical state. For example, you may find that you feel more impatient when you spend a lot of time on social media. Some people also feel more impatient when they eat or drink certain things, such as coffee and other caffeinated beverages.\\n2-2. Create a personal strategy to counteract your triggers.\\nSit down with your journal and write out a list of the things that seem to trigger your impatience most often. Ask yourself what you can do to neutralize your impatience in these situations and write down a step-by-step list of things you can do anywhere and anytime they come up.\\nFor example, if you often get impatient with your friends or family members, your strategy might be: “Take 3 deep breaths. Explain why you’re feeling frustrated. Take a break and walk away if you’re still feeling impatient.”\\nIf you find that your impatience is made worse by certain foods or drinks, try cutting them out of your diet.\\nIf social media frustrates you and gets you down, consider turning off your phone alerts or using an app or plugin that prevents you from logging on for a few hours during the day.\\nGet creative with your solutions and try different things to see what works best. Give yourself time to change; it won’t happen overnight, but you’ll be able to improve yourself in time.\\n2-3. Practice short meditations to use when you feel impatient.\\nTake each moment of potential impatience as an opportunity to focus on your breath and check in with yourself. Center yourself on your feet or in your chair, and breathe deeply, noticing the pattern of your inhalations and exhalations. Close your eyes if you can, or focus on a still point across the room.\\nPractice doing these quick meditations a few times a day, even when you’re not feeling impatient. Getting comfortable meditating when you’re calm will make it easier to do so in the heat of the moment.\\n2-4. Adjust your expectations.\\nThe world will not always conform to your hopes, and you will be very frustrated if you constantly get upset when people, places, or things do not meet up to impossible standards. If you are impatient, it may be because you need to re-think the expectations. For example:\\nIf you are impatient in your weight loss plan, you may need to remind yourself the excess weight did not all go on in a week, and it will take time for it to come off.\\nIf you find yourself impatient because of traffic, you may need to rethink your belief that your commute takes 20 minutes if in reality it usually takes an average of 35. Just because that one time it took 20 minutes does not mean every trip to work should be expected to take 20 minutes.\\nIf you get frustrated that your partner chronically forgets your anniversary, and this is upsetting to you, instead choose to accept that remembering this date does not come as naturally as it does for you. Put the date on a shared calendar and ask him a week in advance to plan together some enjoyable activities.\\n2-5. Exercise regularly to relieve pent-up stress.\\nTry to fit in a little bit of exercise every day, even if it’s just a quick walk or a jog up and down the stairs. Getting exercise will burn off the stress hormones that are shortening your fuse, making it easier to maintain your cool in intense situations.\\nIf you have time, try to incorporate more intense physical activity too, like jogging, swimming, biking, or doing light weights.\\nSometimes you can use exercise to counteract your impatience in the moment. If you’re feeling impatient while working on a project, for example, get up from your desk and take a five-minute walk.\\nIf you’re stuck in traffic, try moving your arms and head to the beat of your music.\\n2-6. Be prepared to fend off impatience caused by long waits.\\nMany people get impatient when they’re forced to wait for a long time, like at a slow restaurant or doctor’s office. If you can distract yourself with other activities while you wait, it will be much easier to stay patient.\\nFor example, you could pack a book, a crossword puzzle, or a travel-size game when you think you might have to wait for a while, such as at the doctor’s office or a crowded grocery store.\\nYou can also distract yourself with whatever is at hand. Listen in on other people’s conversations, look at the other drivers stuck in traffic with you, or read the headlines of magazines or newspapers while you wait in line.\\n2-7. Ask for help when you’re feeling overloaded.\\nImpatience can be a sign of burnout. If you feel stressed, irritable, or impatient a lot of the time, these are signs that you’re under too much pressure. Look for tasks that you can delegate and talk to a friend, family member, or co-worker to see if they can help. Taking some of the pressure off of yourself will lower your stress levels and make you less likely to get impatient in the first place.\\nFor example, if you’re feeling frustrated about a project, talk to your boss or teacher about getting some help from or a co-worker or fellow student.\\nSay, “I’ve been working really hard on this, but it’s becoming too much for me my own. Could I get a partner to divide the work with?”\\nNever feel bad about asking for help, especially when it has to do with your mental health. People will often be happy to help, and you’ll feel much more relaxed when you’re able to share the burden.\\n3. Accepting What You Can’t Change\\n3-1. Practice putting your impatience in perspective.\\nWhen you’re caught up in a task in the heat of the moment, it might feel crucial for something to get done right now--and thinking about what might happen if it doesn’t get done is what fuels your impatience. Instead, ask yourself, “Why am I in such a hurry?” Even if the task is finished a little late, it will still get done and everything will work out.\\nIn true cases of life or death, broadening your perspective might not help. For example, if you’re waiting for an ambulance to help an injured person, it may matter very much whether the ambulance arrives late.\\nIn this situation, channel your impatience into doing whatever you can, whether that’s making the person comfortable or giving more information to the emergency line operator.\\n3-2. Be kind to yourself\\nIf your impatience centers around getting frustrated with yourself, take a step back and realize that you can only expect so much from yourself. It’s great to want to improve yourself and learn new skills, but beating yourself up will only make you lose self-confidence. Instead, face your shortcomings head-on and see how you can work around them, or even make them into positives.\\nFeeling impatient with yourself often stems from the idea that it’s always better to go faster, which isn’t necessarily true.\\nBy proceeding slowly and patiently, you’ll understand the concept more deeply, and might even enjoy yourself more along the way.\\nRemember that most things take time and effort to master. Being patient with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.\\n3-3. Accept that your expectations might not always be met.\\nMost impatience comes from being frustrated that people or situations don’t match up to what you expect. Instead of needing things to be a certain way, loosen your grip on your expectations and look forward to the surprises that come your way. Accept that people and situations will never be perfect and take life’s twists and turns with grace and humor.\\nFor example, instead of losing your patience when a friend spills a drink, remember that it was an accident and no one is perfect. Take a moment to breathe, reassure them that it’s okay, and move on.\\n3-4. List the things you feel grateful for every day.\\nStudies have shown that people who show gratitude in their day-to-day life are more likely to be patient and have better self-control. Practice this by coming up with 3-4 things every day that you’re grateful for. Take a moment to savor the feeling of thankfulness and center yourself in it.\\nYou might say, for example, that you’re grateful to have a roof over your head, dreams and goals for the future, and friends that love you.\\n3-5. Build your self-confidence\\nEveryone comes up against obstacles in their lives that seem impossible to overcome. Cultivating your self-confidence will help you realize that you’re smart and strong enough to find ways around these obstacles, no matter how impatient or upset you might feel.\\nFor example, you might feel frustrated when you’re applying to jobs but can’t seem to catch a break. Being confident in yourself will keep you optimistic and help motivate you to keep working hard until things look up.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re stuck in a traffic jam or frustrated with a difficult project, impatience is a natural reaction to have when things aren’t going your way. Learning to control and neutralize your impatience will help you become calmer, happier, and more understanding, no matter what frustrating situation you find yourself in!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercising Patience in the Moment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick up on the thoughts and physical feelings of being impatient.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in a stressful situation, be alert to thoughts that hint that you might be getting impatient, such as “This is taking forever,” or “This person is being so annoying.” When you pick up on these impatient thoughts, stop and check in with your body to see what you’re feeling, physically. You’ll probably be able to recognize signs of impatience right away, and identifying them can help you start to counteract your frustration. Some physical signs could include:\\nTension in your muscles\\nRestless, jiggling feet or legs\\nClenching your hands\\nShort breaths\\nAn elevated heart rate\\nIrritability or anger\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Figure out what’s causing your impatience.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve recognized that you’re feeling impatient, it’s time to hunt down the cause. Think past your immediate frustration and ask yourself, “Why am I actually feeling this way?” Some common causes of impatience are:\\nYour environment not conforming to your expectations. For example, you might hit unexpected traffic, or a restaurant might be more crowded than you’d thought, making you feel irritated and frustrated.\\nOther people not behaving the way you want them to. For instance, you might get impatient that someone in front of you at the grocery store is blocking the whole aisle or chatting with the clerk for too long.\\nWhen you can’t master a new skill fast enough. You might get impatient, for example, if you can’t figure out a new math or computer concept. You may have an unrealistic expectation that you will quickly grasp all new concepts.\\nWhen you can’t control your thoughts. You might get impatient with yourself for not being able to dictate what emotions and thoughts pop up in your mind, even if you recognize there’s not much you can do to stop it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a moment to ground yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Taking small, easy actions can break up the cycle of your impatience before it can progress, giving you a chance to regroup yourself. Focusing on your movements and the physical sensations of your actions will distract you from your impatience.\\nOne good way to ground yourself is to focus on your environment. For example, you might take a few moments to think about how your feet feel when you are standing on the floor, what it feels like to sit in a chair, or the sensation of an object in your hand.\\nYou can also try a simple grounding exercise like looking for 3 things in your environment that are blue. These simple actions help bring you back into the present moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take 5 deep breaths to slow your heart rate down.\", \"描述\": \"Close your eyes and inhale deeply into your belly. Hold it for a second, the let the air out slowly. Feel your body calm down and let that physical relaxation flow into your mind, soothing your impatient thoughts.\\nBesides calming your body, taking a few deep breaths will force you to slow down before you say or do anything rash.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Shift your perspective about your situation if you can.\", \"描述\": \"Most situations that make you feel impatient are ones that can’t easily be changed (if there was an easy solution, you probably would have found it already!). Instead of focusing on this feeling of powerlessness, concentrate on what can be changed: your attitude and perspective of the situation. Say to yourself, “Since I can’t remove myself completely from this situation, how can I make it better?”\\nIf you’re frustrated with an essay you’re writing, for example, you could focus on making your environment more pleasant. Put on music that helps you concentrate, make some tea, or have a snack.\\nYou can also address head-on what’s really bothering you about the situation, such as the fact that the essay is taking a long time to write. For example, you could cover up your clock so you don’t feel a time crunch.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Find something good or interesting in the situation if you can.\", \"描述\": \"If you can’t change your situation, the best thing you can do is change your perspective on it. Ask yourself to find something positive about where you are right now and focus on that instead of your impatience. It might be hard at first--like a lot of negative emotions, impatience can make you feel good and powerful in the moment--but forcing yourself to focus on the positive will make you feel much better in the long run.\\nIf you’re stuck in traffic, for example, chat with another person in the car or, if your car has Bluetooth capability, call a friend or family member. Change the radio station or put in a new CD and sing along.\\nIf you are stuck in a tedious or frustrating situation, try making productive use of your time. For example, if you’re driving, listen to an interesting audiobook. If you have to sit in a doctor’s office for a long time, try to bring a project with you to work on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Working Towards Long-Term Patience\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal to look for patterns in your impatience.\", \"描述\": \"Carry a small notebook around with you and make a note of every time you feel impatient. Write down the date, the time, what you’re feeling impatient about, and how that impatience makes you feel physically and emotionally. After 2 weeks, read back your journal and look for what kinds of situations make you feel the most impatient.\\nFor example, you might realize that your impatience stems from getting frustrated at other people. You might write, “June 1, math class, 2pm. I felt impatient because John was working so slowly. My muscles started feeling tense.”\\nJournaling about your frustrations has the added bonus of letting you vent your emotions, which can make you feel calmer and less stressed.\\nYour impatience might be triggered by situations, environmental stimuli, or even your physical state. For example, you may find that you feel more impatient when you spend a lot of time on social media. Some people also feel more impatient when they eat or drink certain things, such as coffee and other caffeinated beverages.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a personal strategy to counteract your triggers.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down with your journal and write out a list of the things that seem to trigger your impatience most often. Ask yourself what you can do to neutralize your impatience in these situations and write down a step-by-step list of things you can do anywhere and anytime they come up.\\nFor example, if you often get impatient with your friends or family members, your strategy might be: “Take 3 deep breaths. Explain why you’re feeling frustrated. Take a break and walk away if you’re still feeling impatient.”\\nIf you find that your impatience is made worse by certain foods or drinks, try cutting them out of your diet.\\nIf social media frustrates you and gets you down, consider turning off your phone alerts or using an app or plugin that prevents you from logging on for a few hours during the day.\\nGet creative with your solutions and try different things to see what works best. Give yourself time to change; it won’t happen overnight, but you’ll be able to improve yourself in time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice short meditations to use when you feel impatient.\", \"描述\": \"Take each moment of potential impatience as an opportunity to focus on your breath and check in with yourself. Center yourself on your feet or in your chair, and breathe deeply, noticing the pattern of your inhalations and exhalations. Close your eyes if you can, or focus on a still point across the room.\\nPractice doing these quick meditations a few times a day, even when you’re not feeling impatient. Getting comfortable meditating when you’re calm will make it easier to do so in the heat of the moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adjust your expectations.\", \"描述\": \"The world will not always conform to your hopes, and you will be very frustrated if you constantly get upset when people, places, or things do not meet up to impossible standards. If you are impatient, it may be because you need to re-think the expectations. For example:\\nIf you are impatient in your weight loss plan, you may need to remind yourself the excess weight did not all go on in a week, and it will take time for it to come off.\\nIf you find yourself impatient because of traffic, you may need to rethink your belief that your commute takes 20 minutes if in reality it usually takes an average of 35. Just because that one time it took 20 minutes does not mean every trip to work should be expected to take 20 minutes.\\nIf you get frustrated that your partner chronically forgets your anniversary, and this is upsetting to you, instead choose to accept that remembering this date does not come as naturally as it does for you. Put the date on a shared calendar and ask him a week in advance to plan together some enjoyable activities.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly to relieve pent-up stress.\", \"描述\": \"Try to fit in a little bit of exercise every day, even if it’s just a quick walk or a jog up and down the stairs. Getting exercise will burn off the stress hormones that are shortening your fuse, making it easier to maintain your cool in intense situations.\\nIf you have time, try to incorporate more intense physical activity too, like jogging, swimming, biking, or doing light weights.\\nSometimes you can use exercise to counteract your impatience in the moment. If you’re feeling impatient while working on a project, for example, get up from your desk and take a five-minute walk.\\nIf you’re stuck in traffic, try moving your arms and head to the beat of your music.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to fend off impatience caused by long waits.\", \"描述\": \"Many people get impatient when they’re forced to wait for a long time, like at a slow restaurant or doctor’s office. If you can distract yourself with other activities while you wait, it will be much easier to stay patient.\\nFor example, you could pack a book, a crossword puzzle, or a travel-size game when you think you might have to wait for a while, such as at the doctor’s office or a crowded grocery store.\\nYou can also distract yourself with whatever is at hand. Listen in on other people’s conversations, look at the other drivers stuck in traffic with you, or read the headlines of magazines or newspapers while you wait in line.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask for help when you’re feeling overloaded.\", \"描述\": \"Impatience can be a sign of burnout. If you feel stressed, irritable, or impatient a lot of the time, these are signs that you’re under too much pressure. Look for tasks that you can delegate and talk to a friend, family member, or co-worker to see if they can help. Taking some of the pressure off of yourself will lower your stress levels and make you less likely to get impatient in the first place.\\nFor example, if you’re feeling frustrated about a project, talk to your boss or teacher about getting some help from or a co-worker or fellow student.\\nSay, “I’ve been working really hard on this, but it’s becoming too much for me my own. Could I get a partner to divide the work with?”\\nNever feel bad about asking for help, especially when it has to do with your mental health. People will often be happy to help, and you’ll feel much more relaxed when you’re able to share the burden.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accepting What You Can’t Change\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice putting your impatience in perspective.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re caught up in a task in the heat of the moment, it might feel crucial for something to get done right now--and thinking about what might happen if it doesn’t get done is what fuels your impatience. Instead, ask yourself, “Why am I in such a hurry?” Even if the task is finished a little late, it will still get done and everything will work out.\\nIn true cases of life or death, broadening your perspective might not help. For example, if you’re waiting for an ambulance to help an injured person, it may matter very much whether the ambulance arrives late.\\nIn this situation, channel your impatience into doing whatever you can, whether that’s making the person comfortable or giving more information to the emergency line operator.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself\", \"描述\": \"If your impatience centers around getting frustrated with yourself, take a step back and realize that you can only expect so much from yourself. It’s great to want to improve yourself and learn new skills, but beating yourself up will only make you lose self-confidence. Instead, face your shortcomings head-on and see how you can work around them, or even make them into positives.\\nFeeling impatient with yourself often stems from the idea that it’s always better to go faster, which isn’t necessarily true.\\nBy proceeding slowly and patiently, you’ll understand the concept more deeply, and might even enjoy yourself more along the way.\\nRemember that most things take time and effort to master. Being patient with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept that your expectations might not always be met.\", \"描述\": \"Most impatience comes from being frustrated that people or situations don’t match up to what you expect. Instead of needing things to be a certain way, loosen your grip on your expectations and look forward to the surprises that come your way. Accept that people and situations will never be perfect and take life’s twists and turns with grace and humor.\\nFor example, instead of losing your patience when a friend spills a drink, remember that it was an accident and no one is perfect. Take a moment to breathe, reassure them that it’s okay, and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"List the things you feel grateful for every day.\", \"描述\": \"Studies have shown that people who show gratitude in their day-to-day life are more likely to be patient and have better self-control. Practice this by coming up with 3-4 things every day that you’re grateful for. Take a moment to savor the feeling of thankfulness and center yourself in it.\\nYou might say, for example, that you’re grateful to have a roof over your head, dreams and goals for the future, and friends that love you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Build your self-confidence\", \"描述\": \"Everyone comes up against obstacles in their lives that seem impossible to overcome. Cultivating your self-confidence will help you realize that you’re smart and strong enough to find ways around these obstacles, no matter how impatient or upset you might feel.\\nFor example, you might feel frustrated when you’re applying to jobs but can’t seem to catch a break. Being confident in yourself will keep you optimistic and help motivate you to keep working hard until things look up.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,020 | How to Become More Patient with Children | 1. Ask your child to explain their behavior.
Listen to your kids' perspectives before you react.
If you begin to feel frustrated because of something they're doing or not doing, pause for a second and figure out what they're feeling. You might find that this defuses your frustration and helps you understand why they didn't behave the way you wanted them to.
For instance, you might say, "Could you please help me understand why you and your brother aren't getting along? You seem upset," or, "Can you tell me why you didn't tidy up your room?"
2. Take a few deep breaths or relax your muscles.
Slow down and calm your body before you respond to your kids.
If you feel your body tense up or your heart starts pounding when you begin to feel frustrated, tell yourself to wait. Breathe in for a count of 5 and hold it for another 5 seconds. Then, slowly release your deep breath. Consciously relax your muscles as you do this. You might be surprised at how much more peaceful you feel.
Taking a moment to breathe deeply also gives you time to gather your thoughts so you respond calmly.
If it relaxes you, repeat a mantra as you take deep breaths. You might say, "This too will pass," or, "I love my kids."
3. Step away for a moment if possible.
Take a short break to calm down and think before you react.
If you're struggling to remain patient, it's completely fine to call a short break. Make it clear that it's not a punishment. Instead, tell your kids that everyone just needs a moment to calm down.
Say something like, "Let's all spend 5 minutes in our own rooms, and then we'll talk about why you're frustrated."
If your kids are very small, put them in their crib or playpen, but never leave them unsupervised. You could also ask your partner or another adult to watch the kids while you get a break.
4. Talk with your children about patience.
Be honest when you're impatient and explain how you're feeling.
Kids can tell when you've reached the limit of your patience, but it can really help to calmly explain to them know how you're feeling. Then, mention what you're doing to try to be more patient.
For instance, say, "I'm losing my patience and feeling really frustrated. I'm going to sit down and close my eyes to do some deep breaths."
Simply saying, “Kids, I’m losing my patience,” can also help, since it openly communicates with the kids how you're feeling and lets them respond to it.
5. Apologize if you lose your temper.
Teach your children that everyone makes mistakes.
Apologizing shows the kids that you understand you didn’t handle the situation as well as you could have and that you will try to improve next time. This sets a good example of being able to apologize when you're wrong—something they should also learn.
For example, say, "Look, kids, I'm sorry that I yelled. I lost my patience and I didn't have a good reaction. I'll try to do better the next time I'm frustrated."
Don't apologize and then offer an excuse for your behavior. Instead, be accountable for your reaction.
6. Give your child boundaries.
Set clear rules
If your kids aren't listening to you, you probably feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. Try giving your kids specific requests and consequences, if they don't fulfill them. For instance, say, I need you to do your homework before we turn on the movie or we won't be able to watch it tonight," rather than, "Why don't you get your homework done?"
Rules and boundaries help to give children stability and structure which they can rely on.
For example, if one of the kids starts hitting the other, say, "There's no hitting in this house. I'm going to separate you now so you don't hurt your brother. Then, I'll come back and we'll talk about this."
7. Identify and avoid things that trigger your impatience.
Let go of anger or anxiety about things you can't control.
Being aware of your triggers is the first step to becoming more patient, especially since you may have control over what triggers your impatience. Once you identify them, try to prevent them.
For example, maybe your kid wouldn't get dressed as you were trying to get out the door or they ignored you when you asked them to clean up before company came. In these cases, running late and having guests over contributed to your sense of impatience with your kid.
If entertaining at home makes you stressed out, you might meet up with company at a restaurant instead. If hectic mornings make you frustrated, prepare for work or school the night before so you're not struggling to make it out the door.
8. Practice being patient in all your interactions.
The more you practice being patient, the easier it gets.
If you make a conscious effort to be calmer in your interactions with everyone, you'll find it a lot easier to be patient with your kids. Work on being patient with co-workers or people you encounter throughout the day.
Think about how impatient you sometimes get in the car and use this as an opportunity to model patience to your kid. If you're stuck behind a slow driver, you might say, "Gosh, we're going really slow. Oh well, at least we've got more time to enjoy the scenery."
9. Spend time having fun with your kids.
Relax and enjoy time together to reduce your frustration with each other.
Give yourself permission to be silly! You might be so focused on not losing your patience, that you forget to have fun. Make a point of spending a little time every day just enjoying each other's company. You might play games, bake cookies together, read them a story, or let them choose an activity.
If you don't have a lot of time to schedule fun activities, don't worry! Make the most of the time you do have, even if it's just spending a few minutes listening to music together or watching a show with them after you get home from work.
10. Set aside time for self-care.
Do things that make you feel rested, healthy, and happy.
As a parent, you probably put your children's needs first, often without looking after yourself. It's important to practice self-care so you have the energy and enthusiasm to care for your kids. Get plenty of sleep since feeling rested can really help you have patience, and eat nutritious food so you feel your best.
Taking care of yourself also includes spending time with your partner or friends. You might notice you're more short-tempered when you haven't spent time away from your kids in a while, so make plans to meet up with other adults every once in a while.
11. Go easy on yourself.
You will occasionally lose your patience, but allow yourself to move on.
You may be a parent, but you're human, too. Even with practice, there will be times when your kids push your buttons and you might react with frustration. Don't beat yourself up about it—learn from the experience and move forward. Remind yourself that it's okay and you can do better next time.
It's easy to dwell on your mistakes, but redirect your focus to recognize your strengths as a parent. For instance, you might think, "I lost my cool, but I did apologize and we had a good talk."
Tips
If you struggle with impatience and anger, talk with a therapist who can help you work through underlying issues.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ask your child to explain their behavior.\\nListen to your kids' perspectives before you react.\\nIf you begin to feel frustrated because of something they're doing or not doing, pause for a second and figure out what they're feeling. You might find that this defuses your frustration and helps you understand why they didn't behave the way you wanted them to.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Could you please help me understand why you and your brother aren't getting along? You seem upset,\\\" or, \\\"Can you tell me why you didn't tidy up your room?\\\"\\n2. Take a few deep breaths or relax your muscles.\\nSlow down and calm your body before you respond to your kids.\\nIf you feel your body tense up or your heart starts pounding when you begin to feel frustrated, tell yourself to wait. Breathe in for a count of 5 and hold it for another 5 seconds. Then, slowly release your deep breath. Consciously relax your muscles as you do this. You might be surprised at how much more peaceful you feel.\\nTaking a moment to breathe deeply also gives you time to gather your thoughts so you respond calmly.\\nIf it relaxes you, repeat a mantra as you take deep breaths. You might say, \\\"This too will pass,\\\" or, \\\"I love my kids.\\\"\\n3. Step away for a moment if possible.\\nTake a short break to calm down and think before you react.\\nIf you're struggling to remain patient, it's completely fine to call a short break. Make it clear that it's not a punishment. Instead, tell your kids that everyone just needs a moment to calm down.\\nSay something like, \\\"Let's all spend 5 minutes in our own rooms, and then we'll talk about why you're frustrated.\\\"\\nIf your kids are very small, put them in their crib or playpen, but never leave them unsupervised. You could also ask your partner or another adult to watch the kids while you get a break.\\n4. Talk with your children about patience.\\nBe honest when you're impatient and explain how you're feeling.\\nKids can tell when you've reached the limit of your patience, but it can really help to calmly explain to them know how you're feeling. Then, mention what you're doing to try to be more patient.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I'm losing my patience and feeling really frustrated. I'm going to sit down and close my eyes to do some deep breaths.\\\"\\nSimply saying, “Kids, I’m losing my patience,” can also help, since it openly communicates with the kids how you're feeling and lets them respond to it.\\n5. Apologize if you lose your temper.\\nTeach your children that everyone makes mistakes.\\nApologizing shows the kids that you understand you didn’t handle the situation as well as you could have and that you will try to improve next time. This sets a good example of being able to apologize when you're wrong—something they should also learn.\\nFor example, say, \\\"Look, kids, I'm sorry that I yelled. I lost my patience and I didn't have a good reaction. I'll try to do better the next time I'm frustrated.\\\"\\nDon't apologize and then offer an excuse for your behavior. Instead, be accountable for your reaction.\\n6. Give your child boundaries.\\nSet clear rules\\nIf your kids aren't listening to you, you probably feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. Try giving your kids specific requests and consequences, if they don't fulfill them. For instance, say, I need you to do your homework before we turn on the movie or we won't be able to watch it tonight,\\\" rather than, \\\"Why don't you get your homework done?\\\"\\nRules and boundaries help to give children stability and structure which they can rely on.\\nFor example, if one of the kids starts hitting the other, say, \\\"There's no hitting in this house. I'm going to separate you now so you don't hurt your brother. Then, I'll come back and we'll talk about this.\\\"\\n7. Identify and avoid things that trigger your impatience.\\nLet go of anger or anxiety about things you can't control.\\nBeing aware of your triggers is the first step to becoming more patient, especially since you may have control over what triggers your impatience. Once you identify them, try to prevent them.\\nFor example, maybe your kid wouldn't get dressed as you were trying to get out the door or they ignored you when you asked them to clean up before company came. In these cases, running late and having guests over contributed to your sense of impatience with your kid.\\nIf entertaining at home makes you stressed out, you might meet up with company at a restaurant instead. If hectic mornings make you frustrated, prepare for work or school the night before so you're not struggling to make it out the door.\\n8. Practice being patient in all your interactions.\\nThe more you practice being patient, the easier it gets.\\nIf you make a conscious effort to be calmer in your interactions with everyone, you'll find it a lot easier to be patient with your kids. Work on being patient with co-workers or people you encounter throughout the day.\\nThink about how impatient you sometimes get in the car and use this as an opportunity to model patience to your kid. If you're stuck behind a slow driver, you might say, \\\"Gosh, we're going really slow. Oh well, at least we've got more time to enjoy the scenery.\\\"\\n9. Spend time having fun with your kids.\\nRelax and enjoy time together to reduce your frustration with each other.\\nGive yourself permission to be silly! You might be so focused on not losing your patience, that you forget to have fun. Make a point of spending a little time every day just enjoying each other's company. You might play games, bake cookies together, read them a story, or let them choose an activity.\\nIf you don't have a lot of time to schedule fun activities, don't worry! Make the most of the time you do have, even if it's just spending a few minutes listening to music together or watching a show with them after you get home from work.\\n10. Set aside time for self-care.\\nDo things that make you feel rested, healthy, and happy.\\nAs a parent, you probably put your children's needs first, often without looking after yourself. It's important to practice self-care so you have the energy and enthusiasm to care for your kids. Get plenty of sleep since feeling rested can really help you have patience, and eat nutritious food so you feel your best.\\nTaking care of yourself also includes spending time with your partner or friends. You might notice you're more short-tempered when you haven't spent time away from your kids in a while, so make plans to meet up with other adults every once in a while.\\n11. Go easy on yourself.\\nYou will occasionally lose your patience, but allow yourself to move on.\\nYou may be a parent, but you're human, too. Even with practice, there will be times when your kids push your buttons and you might react with frustration. Don't beat yourself up about it—learn from the experience and move forward. Remind yourself that it's okay and you can do better next time.\\nIt's easy to dwell on your mistakes, but redirect your focus to recognize your strengths as a parent. For instance, you might think, \\\"I lost my cool, but I did apologize and we had a good talk.\\\"\\nTips\\nIf you struggle with impatience and anger, talk with a therapist who can help you work through underlying issues.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you ever wish you knew how to be more patient with kids? If you're like most parents, the thought probably crosses your mind a few dozen times a day. The good news is that while no one is perfect and calm all the time, you're already taking the first step by reading this article! If you're ready to develop these skills, keep reading for practical suggestions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your child to explain their behavior.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to your kids' perspectives before you react.\", \"描述\": \"If you begin to feel frustrated because of something they're doing or not doing, pause for a second and figure out what they're feeling. You might find that this defuses your frustration and helps you understand why they didn't behave the way you wanted them to.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Could you please help me understand why you and your brother aren't getting along? You seem upset,\\\" or, \\\"Can you tell me why you didn't tidy up your room?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a few deep breaths or relax your muscles.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Slow down and calm your body before you respond to your kids.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel your body tense up or your heart starts pounding when you begin to feel frustrated, tell yourself to wait. Breathe in for a count of 5 and hold it for another 5 seconds. Then, slowly release your deep breath. Consciously relax your muscles as you do this. You might be surprised at how much more peaceful you feel.\\nTaking a moment to breathe deeply also gives you time to gather your thoughts so you respond calmly.\\nIf it relaxes you, repeat a mantra as you take deep breaths. You might say, \\\"This too will pass,\\\" or, \\\"I love my kids.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Step away for a moment if possible.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a short break to calm down and think before you react.\", \"描述\": \"If you're struggling to remain patient, it's completely fine to call a short break. Make it clear that it's not a punishment. Instead, tell your kids that everyone just needs a moment to calm down.\\nSay something like, \\\"Let's all spend 5 minutes in our own rooms, and then we'll talk about why you're frustrated.\\\"\\nIf your kids are very small, put them in their crib or playpen, but never leave them unsupervised. You could also ask your partner or another adult to watch the kids while you get a break.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk with your children about patience.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest when you're impatient and explain how you're feeling.\", \"描述\": \"Kids can tell when you've reached the limit of your patience, but it can really help to calmly explain to them know how you're feeling. Then, mention what you're doing to try to be more patient.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I'm losing my patience and feeling really frustrated. I'm going to sit down and close my eyes to do some deep breaths.\\\"\\nSimply saying, “Kids, I’m losing my patience,” can also help, since it openly communicates with the kids how you're feeling and lets them respond to it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apologize if you lose your temper.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Teach your children that everyone makes mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Apologizing shows the kids that you understand you didn’t handle the situation as well as you could have and that you will try to improve next time. This sets a good example of being able to apologize when you're wrong—something they should also learn.\\nFor example, say, \\\"Look, kids, I'm sorry that I yelled. I lost my patience and I didn't have a good reaction. I'll try to do better the next time I'm frustrated.\\\"\\nDon't apologize and then offer an excuse for your behavior. Instead, be accountable for your reaction.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give your child boundaries.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set clear rules\", \"描述\": \"If your kids aren't listening to you, you probably feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. Try giving your kids specific requests and consequences, if they don't fulfill them. For instance, say, I need you to do your homework before we turn on the movie or we won't be able to watch it tonight,\\\" rather than, \\\"Why don't you get your homework done?\\\"\\nRules and boundaries help to give children stability and structure which they can rely on.\\nFor example, if one of the kids starts hitting the other, say, \\\"There's no hitting in this house. I'm going to separate you now so you don't hurt your brother. Then, I'll come back and we'll talk about this.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Identify and avoid things that trigger your impatience.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let go of anger or anxiety about things you can't control.\", \"描述\": \"Being aware of your triggers is the first step to becoming more patient, especially since you may have control over what triggers your impatience. Once you identify them, try to prevent them.\\nFor example, maybe your kid wouldn't get dressed as you were trying to get out the door or they ignored you when you asked them to clean up before company came. In these cases, running late and having guests over contributed to your sense of impatience with your kid.\\nIf entertaining at home makes you stressed out, you might meet up with company at a restaurant instead. If hectic mornings make you frustrated, prepare for work or school the night before so you're not struggling to make it out the door.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Practice being patient in all your interactions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The more you practice being patient, the easier it gets.\", \"描述\": \"If you make a conscious effort to be calmer in your interactions with everyone, you'll find it a lot easier to be patient with your kids. Work on being patient with co-workers or people you encounter throughout the day.\\nThink about how impatient you sometimes get in the car and use this as an opportunity to model patience to your kid. If you're stuck behind a slow driver, you might say, \\\"Gosh, we're going really slow. Oh well, at least we've got more time to enjoy the scenery.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Spend time having fun with your kids.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Relax and enjoy time together to reduce your frustration with each other.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself permission to be silly! You might be so focused on not losing your patience, that you forget to have fun. Make a point of spending a little time every day just enjoying each other's company. You might play games, bake cookies together, read them a story, or let them choose an activity.\\nIf you don't have a lot of time to schedule fun activities, don't worry! Make the most of the time you do have, even if it's just spending a few minutes listening to music together or watching a show with them after you get home from work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Set aside time for self-care.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do things that make you feel rested, healthy, and happy.\", \"描述\": \"As a parent, you probably put your children's needs first, often without looking after yourself. It's important to practice self-care so you have the energy and enthusiasm to care for your kids. Get plenty of sleep since feeling rested can really help you have patience, and eat nutritious food so you feel your best.\\nTaking care of yourself also includes spending time with your partner or friends. You might notice you're more short-tempered when you haven't spent time away from your kids in a while, so make plans to meet up with other adults every once in a while.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Go easy on yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You will occasionally lose your patience, but allow yourself to move on.\", \"描述\": \"You may be a parent, but you're human, too. Even with practice, there will be times when your kids push your buttons and you might react with frustration. Don't beat yourself up about it—learn from the experience and move forward. Remind yourself that it's okay and you can do better next time.\\nIt's easy to dwell on your mistakes, but redirect your focus to recognize your strengths as a parent. For instance, you might think, \\\"I lost my cool, but I did apologize and we had a good talk.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you struggle with impatience and anger, talk with a therapist who can help you work through underlying issues.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,021 | How to Be Patient With a Child With Special Needs | 1. Interacting in Positive Ways with the Child
1-1. Explain the instructions for an activity or a task slowly and clearly.
Special needs children can have difficulty following instructions and remaining on task. You can help the child focus on a task by sitting down with them and laying out the instructions for an activity or a task slowly and clearly. Maintain eye contact when you do this and make clear facial expressions. Do not talk too fast or too loudly with the child.
Some special needs children have difficulty reading facial expressions as well as verbal or physical cues. You may want to try drawing out the instructions for an activity or a task to show the child how the activity will be done. You can do this using very basic drawings, such as stick figures, or a more comic strip style drawing, with more detailed figures. The child can then look at the drawing and better understand how to do an activity or a task.
1-2. Learn how the child prefers to communicate with you.
It can also be helpful to observe how the child communicates with those around her and with you. Some children with special needs have difficulty verbalizing their discomfort or their needs. They may use physical cues instead, such as touching your arm or waving their hands at you. Some children may prefer making facial gestures at you to show that they need something or are trying to figure out how to do a certain action.
If you are taking care of a child with special needs temporarily, you should discuss the child’s preferred communication cues with her parents before she is under your care. Most parents are aware of their child’s cues and are good sources of information on how to best communicate with the child.
Avoid pushing, poking, or shouting at the child, as these communication cues will often scare the child or cause her more distress. Aggressive actions toward the child should be avoided, as they are usually not effective.
1-3. Use auditory, visual, and tactile cues.
If you are not sure how the child prefers to communicate, you may try auditory, visual, and tactile cues. You may try repeating certain words or phrases to help calm the child down if she is acting up. Singing these phrases in a low voice, for example, singing “be quiet please”, can help to soothe the child. You can also try clapping, whistling, and humming as a way to quiet down the child.
You can also use visual cues to calm the child and teach the child how to behave in public. You may draw images to represent calm and quiet and show the child these draws to get her attention. Over time, she may understand that certain images mean certain things, from being quiet to going to the bathroom to getting ready for bed.
Tactile cues can also be useful, such as gently touching the child’s shoulder or the side of her face to get her attention. You can also offer tactile objects to the child as a way to calm her down and to get her to focus her attention on a calming activity. For example, you may offer the child a blanket made of soft material or silly putty that she can play with as a way to occupy her with a safe and engaging task.
1-4. Work with the child’s special needs, not against it.
You may be struggling to control your child’s behavior, especially in public where others may judge you or the child, and be frustrated that you cannot get your child under control due to her special needs. But rather than fight against the child’s special needs, you should try to find ways to accommodate the child’s special needs. This will allow you to view the child’s special needs as a challenge, rather than an obstacle or a problem to be fixed.
For example, rather than get upset that your child with Down’s syndrome has trouble speaking and communicating her needs with you verbally, you may try to find other ways to help her communicate. You may take photographs of the step by step process of how to get dressed in the morning and show her the photographs so she understands what to do. You may also repeat phrases consistently in front of her so she hears and remembers these phrases. For example, you may try to say “Good morning” to her every morning so she understands this is a typical greeting for that time of day.
1-5. Celebrate the child’s achievements, even if they are small.
Focus on the positive aspects of your child’s special needs by recognizing her achievements, even if they seem small and insignificant. This could be the moment she speaks her first complete sentence or the moment she understands what someone is asking her to do in a new or challenging environment. Show your child that you appreciate her achievements through facial gestures and positive language.
You may also reward your child by giving her a small treat or taking her on a special outing. This will help to build her confidence and allow you to remind yourself of the many positive aspects of having a special needs child.
2. Creating a Safe Space for the Child
2-1. Make sure there is adult supervision at all times.
To ensure your child feels safe and supported, you should ensure there is an adult or several adults on hand at all times.
This could mean you and your partner supervise her at home, making sure one parent is always present in the room with her. Or, during an extracurricular class, you should make sure that one adult is interacting directly with the child and other adults are supervising other children in the class. This will ensure your child is not at risk of getting hurt or getting into a situation where she might be uncomfortable or upset.
2-2. Establish consistent rules and routines with the child.
You can also give your child a sense of balance and stability by reinforcing a set of rules and routines.
Establish a daily routine where the child eats meals at the same time and goes to school or recreational classes on the same days of the week.
Establish basic rules around behavior, such as a rule for when the child can leave the table after a meal or a rule on how to greet someone new. These rules and routines will help your child to feel secure and also work to counter any issues or problems your child may be having.
You should also ask any teachers, instructors, or authority figures in the child’s life about their rules. A teacher may have a classroom rule where if a child is having a behavior issue, she will call their name as a warning. You should then remind the child that is an important rule that must be followed whenever she is in the classroom.
2-3. Have an alternative plan in the event of an issue or problem.
It’s a good idea to always have a plan B option in your back pocket, especially if you know your child can be unpredictable or act out on occasion. If you have a certain activity planned and your child does not seem interested or engaged, make sure you have an alternate activity that you can try. This will keep you from feeling stressed and frustrated. Being flexible about your plans for your child can help you be more patient and understanding.
2-4. Move the child to a safe space.
If the child acts out in public, you may want to have your partner take the child outside or into a quiet space nearby. If you are alone with the child, you may take the child out yourself and sit with the child until she calms down. Always try to note quiet areas or spots when you are in public with the child, as you may need to access them in the event of an issue.
You should also have a safe space in your house where you can leave the child alone to vent out her anger or issues. This could be her bedroom or a den that is full of objects that can help to calm her down. You may also put on soothing music or a soothing video that you know the child will respond well to.
2-5. Take a moment for yourself when necessary.
Doing self-care is an important part of being a good caretaker for a special needs child. Take a moment to focus on your needs, even if it is for a few minutes a day.
Do a five-minute meditation or enjoy your coffee for five minutes without interruption. Ask your partner to watch your child for an hour while you do something for you, such as going to a yoga class or taking a quiet walk. Taking a moment for yourself is key, as devoting all your energies toward your child can lead to feeling burned out and overly stressed.
2-6. Use humor to diffuse a tense situation.
Treating a tense situation with humor and lightheartedness can really help to bring your stress level down. This could be laughing or making a joke when your child does something strange or acts out in public. Humor can help to release stress and make you feel less frustrated with your child.
You could also turn the situation around by trying to make your child laugh. One parent noted that she uses earplugs and a white noise machine on her child to help her calm down when she has a tantrum. But sometimes, the parent puts the earplugs in her ears, which makes the child laugh and defuses a lot of the stress and tension between them.
3. Reaching Out to Others
3-1. Talk to other individuals who work with special needs children.
It can be helpful to talk to other parents, caretakers, instructors, or teachers who work with special needs children. Sharing your joys, fears, issues, and challenges with others who can empathize can help you feel less stressed and overworked.
You may have a parent who lives nearby that you can call and talk to or a special needs teacher who you can meet with for advice. Building a support network of individuals will make being patient and understanding with your special needs child that much easier, especially on challenging days.
If you do not yet have a support network of individuals, you may try to meet people at your child’s school, or other parents at your child’s recreational classes. There are also online forums you can join where you can talk to other parents and caretakers about any issues or problems you may be experiencing with your special needs child.
3-2. Join a support group for parents of special needs children.
Look for a support group that meets in your area. Support groups can be a very healthy way to deal with any issues or problems you may be experiencing with your child and allow you to connect with others who can understand where you are coming from.
3-3. Ask for help from professionals if needed.
Though you may be determined to care for your special needs child alone, remember that it can be a challenging and difficult job. There is no shame in reaching out to professional doctors or therapists for assistance, especially if you are struggling with maintaining your patience around your child.
Your primary care doctor can refer you to a therapist who is trained to work with special needs children as well as the parents of special needs children. You may need to commit to weekly or bi-monthly meetings where you discuss your issues and work on ways to cope with them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Interacting in Positive Ways with the Child\\n1-1. Explain the instructions for an activity or a task slowly and clearly.\\nSpecial needs children can have difficulty following instructions and remaining on task. You can help the child focus on a task by sitting down with them and laying out the instructions for an activity or a task slowly and clearly. Maintain eye contact when you do this and make clear facial expressions. Do not talk too fast or too loudly with the child.\\nSome special needs children have difficulty reading facial expressions as well as verbal or physical cues. You may want to try drawing out the instructions for an activity or a task to show the child how the activity will be done. You can do this using very basic drawings, such as stick figures, or a more comic strip style drawing, with more detailed figures. The child can then look at the drawing and better understand how to do an activity or a task.\\n1-2. Learn how the child prefers to communicate with you.\\nIt can also be helpful to observe how the child communicates with those around her and with you. Some children with special needs have difficulty verbalizing their discomfort or their needs. They may use physical cues instead, such as touching your arm or waving their hands at you. Some children may prefer making facial gestures at you to show that they need something or are trying to figure out how to do a certain action.\\nIf you are taking care of a child with special needs temporarily, you should discuss the child’s preferred communication cues with her parents before she is under your care. Most parents are aware of their child’s cues and are good sources of information on how to best communicate with the child.\\nAvoid pushing, poking, or shouting at the child, as these communication cues will often scare the child or cause her more distress. Aggressive actions toward the child should be avoided, as they are usually not effective.\\n1-3. Use auditory, visual, and tactile cues.\\nIf you are not sure how the child prefers to communicate, you may try auditory, visual, and tactile cues. You may try repeating certain words or phrases to help calm the child down if she is acting up. Singing these phrases in a low voice, for example, singing “be quiet please”, can help to soothe the child. You can also try clapping, whistling, and humming as a way to quiet down the child.\\nYou can also use visual cues to calm the child and teach the child how to behave in public. You may draw images to represent calm and quiet and show the child these draws to get her attention. Over time, she may understand that certain images mean certain things, from being quiet to going to the bathroom to getting ready for bed.\\nTactile cues can also be useful, such as gently touching the child’s shoulder or the side of her face to get her attention. You can also offer tactile objects to the child as a way to calm her down and to get her to focus her attention on a calming activity. For example, you may offer the child a blanket made of soft material or silly putty that she can play with as a way to occupy her with a safe and engaging task.\\n1-4. Work with the child’s special needs, not against it.\\nYou may be struggling to control your child’s behavior, especially in public where others may judge you or the child, and be frustrated that you cannot get your child under control due to her special needs. But rather than fight against the child’s special needs, you should try to find ways to accommodate the child’s special needs. This will allow you to view the child’s special needs as a challenge, rather than an obstacle or a problem to be fixed.\\nFor example, rather than get upset that your child with Down’s syndrome has trouble speaking and communicating her needs with you verbally, you may try to find other ways to help her communicate. You may take photographs of the step by step process of how to get dressed in the morning and show her the photographs so she understands what to do. You may also repeat phrases consistently in front of her so she hears and remembers these phrases. For example, you may try to say “Good morning” to her every morning so she understands this is a typical greeting for that time of day.\\n1-5. Celebrate the child’s achievements, even if they are small.\\nFocus on the positive aspects of your child’s special needs by recognizing her achievements, even if they seem small and insignificant. This could be the moment she speaks her first complete sentence or the moment she understands what someone is asking her to do in a new or challenging environment. Show your child that you appreciate her achievements through facial gestures and positive language.\\nYou may also reward your child by giving her a small treat or taking her on a special outing. This will help to build her confidence and allow you to remind yourself of the many positive aspects of having a special needs child.\\n2. Creating a Safe Space for the Child\\n2-1. Make sure there is adult supervision at all times.\\nTo ensure your child feels safe and supported, you should ensure there is an adult or several adults on hand at all times.\\nThis could mean you and your partner supervise her at home, making sure one parent is always present in the room with her. Or, during an extracurricular class, you should make sure that one adult is interacting directly with the child and other adults are supervising other children in the class. This will ensure your child is not at risk of getting hurt or getting into a situation where she might be uncomfortable or upset.\\n2-2. Establish consistent rules and routines with the child.\\nYou can also give your child a sense of balance and stability by reinforcing a set of rules and routines.\\nEstablish a daily routine where the child eats meals at the same time and goes to school or recreational classes on the same days of the week.\\nEstablish basic rules around behavior, such as a rule for when the child can leave the table after a meal or a rule on how to greet someone new. These rules and routines will help your child to feel secure and also work to counter any issues or problems your child may be having.\\nYou should also ask any teachers, instructors, or authority figures in the child’s life about their rules. A teacher may have a classroom rule where if a child is having a behavior issue, she will call their name as a warning. You should then remind the child that is an important rule that must be followed whenever she is in the classroom.\\n2-3. Have an alternative plan in the event of an issue or problem.\\nIt’s a good idea to always have a plan B option in your back pocket, especially if you know your child can be unpredictable or act out on occasion. If you have a certain activity planned and your child does not seem interested or engaged, make sure you have an alternate activity that you can try. This will keep you from feeling stressed and frustrated. Being flexible about your plans for your child can help you be more patient and understanding.\\n2-4. Move the child to a safe space.\\nIf the child acts out in public, you may want to have your partner take the child outside or into a quiet space nearby. If you are alone with the child, you may take the child out yourself and sit with the child until she calms down. Always try to note quiet areas or spots when you are in public with the child, as you may need to access them in the event of an issue.\\nYou should also have a safe space in your house where you can leave the child alone to vent out her anger or issues. This could be her bedroom or a den that is full of objects that can help to calm her down. You may also put on soothing music or a soothing video that you know the child will respond well to.\\n2-5. Take a moment for yourself when necessary.\\nDoing self-care is an important part of being a good caretaker for a special needs child. Take a moment to focus on your needs, even if it is for a few minutes a day.\\nDo a five-minute meditation or enjoy your coffee for five minutes without interruption. Ask your partner to watch your child for an hour while you do something for you, such as going to a yoga class or taking a quiet walk. Taking a moment for yourself is key, as devoting all your energies toward your child can lead to feeling burned out and overly stressed.\\n2-6. Use humor to diffuse a tense situation.\\nTreating a tense situation with humor and lightheartedness can really help to bring your stress level down. This could be laughing or making a joke when your child does something strange or acts out in public. Humor can help to release stress and make you feel less frustrated with your child.\\nYou could also turn the situation around by trying to make your child laugh. One parent noted that she uses earplugs and a white noise machine on her child to help her calm down when she has a tantrum. But sometimes, the parent puts the earplugs in her ears, which makes the child laugh and defuses a lot of the stress and tension between them.\\n3. Reaching Out to Others\\n3-1. Talk to other individuals who work with special needs children.\\nIt can be helpful to talk to other parents, caretakers, instructors, or teachers who work with special needs children. Sharing your joys, fears, issues, and challenges with others who can empathize can help you feel less stressed and overworked.\\nYou may have a parent who lives nearby that you can call and talk to or a special needs teacher who you can meet with for advice. Building a support network of individuals will make being patient and understanding with your special needs child that much easier, especially on challenging days.\\nIf you do not yet have a support network of individuals, you may try to meet people at your child’s school, or other parents at your child’s recreational classes. There are also online forums you can join where you can talk to other parents and caretakers about any issues or problems you may be experiencing with your special needs child.\\n3-2. Join a support group for parents of special needs children.\\nLook for a support group that meets in your area. Support groups can be a very healthy way to deal with any issues or problems you may be experiencing with your child and allow you to connect with others who can understand where you are coming from.\\n3-3. Ask for help from professionals if needed.\\nThough you may be determined to care for your special needs child alone, remember that it can be a challenging and difficult job. There is no shame in reaching out to professional doctors or therapists for assistance, especially if you are struggling with maintaining your patience around your child.\\nYour primary care doctor can refer you to a therapist who is trained to work with special needs children as well as the parents of special needs children. You may need to commit to weekly or bi-monthly meetings where you discuss your issues and work on ways to cope with them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many people have the idea that it can be difficult to work with a child with special needs. Even the parents of children with special needs can struggle with being patient and understanding. Taking on the role of caregiver of a child with special needs is a big commitment but it can be very rewarding. You can learn how to be more patient with a child with special needs using several different methods.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Interacting in Positive Ways with the Child\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain the instructions for an activity or a task slowly and clearly.\", \"描述\": \"Special needs children can have difficulty following instructions and remaining on task. You can help the child focus on a task by sitting down with them and laying out the instructions for an activity or a task slowly and clearly. Maintain eye contact when you do this and make clear facial expressions. Do not talk too fast or too loudly with the child.\\nSome special needs children have difficulty reading facial expressions as well as verbal or physical cues. You may want to try drawing out the instructions for an activity or a task to show the child how the activity will be done. You can do this using very basic drawings, such as stick figures, or a more comic strip style drawing, with more detailed figures. The child can then look at the drawing and better understand how to do an activity or a task.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn how the child prefers to communicate with you.\", \"描述\": \"It can also be helpful to observe how the child communicates with those around her and with you. Some children with special needs have difficulty verbalizing their discomfort or their needs. They may use physical cues instead, such as touching your arm or waving their hands at you. Some children may prefer making facial gestures at you to show that they need something or are trying to figure out how to do a certain action.\\nIf you are taking care of a child with special needs temporarily, you should discuss the child’s preferred communication cues with her parents before she is under your care. Most parents are aware of their child’s cues and are good sources of information on how to best communicate with the child.\\nAvoid pushing, poking, or shouting at the child, as these communication cues will often scare the child or cause her more distress. Aggressive actions toward the child should be avoided, as they are usually not effective.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use auditory, visual, and tactile cues.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not sure how the child prefers to communicate, you may try auditory, visual, and tactile cues. You may try repeating certain words or phrases to help calm the child down if she is acting up. Singing these phrases in a low voice, for example, singing “be quiet please”, can help to soothe the child. You can also try clapping, whistling, and humming as a way to quiet down the child.\\nYou can also use visual cues to calm the child and teach the child how to behave in public. You may draw images to represent calm and quiet and show the child these draws to get her attention. Over time, she may understand that certain images mean certain things, from being quiet to going to the bathroom to getting ready for bed.\\nTactile cues can also be useful, such as gently touching the child’s shoulder or the side of her face to get her attention. You can also offer tactile objects to the child as a way to calm her down and to get her to focus her attention on a calming activity. For example, you may offer the child a blanket made of soft material or silly putty that she can play with as a way to occupy her with a safe and engaging task.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work with the child’s special needs, not against it.\", \"描述\": \"You may be struggling to control your child’s behavior, especially in public where others may judge you or the child, and be frustrated that you cannot get your child under control due to her special needs. But rather than fight against the child’s special needs, you should try to find ways to accommodate the child’s special needs. This will allow you to view the child’s special needs as a challenge, rather than an obstacle or a problem to be fixed.\\nFor example, rather than get upset that your child with Down’s syndrome has trouble speaking and communicating her needs with you verbally, you may try to find other ways to help her communicate. You may take photographs of the step by step process of how to get dressed in the morning and show her the photographs so she understands what to do. You may also repeat phrases consistently in front of her so she hears and remembers these phrases. For example, you may try to say “Good morning” to her every morning so she understands this is a typical greeting for that time of day.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Celebrate the child’s achievements, even if they are small.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on the positive aspects of your child’s special needs by recognizing her achievements, even if they seem small and insignificant. This could be the moment she speaks her first complete sentence or the moment she understands what someone is asking her to do in a new or challenging environment. Show your child that you appreciate her achievements through facial gestures and positive language.\\nYou may also reward your child by giving her a small treat or taking her on a special outing. This will help to build her confidence and allow you to remind yourself of the many positive aspects of having a special needs child.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating a Safe Space for the Child\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure there is adult supervision at all times.\", \"描述\": \"To ensure your child feels safe and supported, you should ensure there is an adult or several adults on hand at all times.\\nThis could mean you and your partner supervise her at home, making sure one parent is always present in the room with her. Or, during an extracurricular class, you should make sure that one adult is interacting directly with the child and other adults are supervising other children in the class. This will ensure your child is not at risk of getting hurt or getting into a situation where she might be uncomfortable or upset.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Establish consistent rules and routines with the child.\", \"描述\": \"You can also give your child a sense of balance and stability by reinforcing a set of rules and routines.\\nEstablish a daily routine where the child eats meals at the same time and goes to school or recreational classes on the same days of the week.\\nEstablish basic rules around behavior, such as a rule for when the child can leave the table after a meal or a rule on how to greet someone new. These rules and routines will help your child to feel secure and also work to counter any issues or problems your child may be having.\\nYou should also ask any teachers, instructors, or authority figures in the child’s life about their rules. A teacher may have a classroom rule where if a child is having a behavior issue, she will call their name as a warning. You should then remind the child that is an important rule that must be followed whenever she is in the classroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have an alternative plan in the event of an issue or problem.\", \"描述\": \"It’s a good idea to always have a plan B option in your back pocket, especially if you know your child can be unpredictable or act out on occasion. If you have a certain activity planned and your child does not seem interested or engaged, make sure you have an alternate activity that you can try. This will keep you from feeling stressed and frustrated. Being flexible about your plans for your child can help you be more patient and understanding.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Move the child to a safe space.\", \"描述\": \"If the child acts out in public, you may want to have your partner take the child outside or into a quiet space nearby. If you are alone with the child, you may take the child out yourself and sit with the child until she calms down. Always try to note quiet areas or spots when you are in public with the child, as you may need to access them in the event of an issue.\\nYou should also have a safe space in your house where you can leave the child alone to vent out her anger or issues. This could be her bedroom or a den that is full of objects that can help to calm her down. You may also put on soothing music or a soothing video that you know the child will respond well to.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take a moment for yourself when necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Doing self-care is an important part of being a good caretaker for a special needs child. Take a moment to focus on your needs, even if it is for a few minutes a day.\\nDo a five-minute meditation or enjoy your coffee for five minutes without interruption. Ask your partner to watch your child for an hour while you do something for you, such as going to a yoga class or taking a quiet walk. Taking a moment for yourself is key, as devoting all your energies toward your child can lead to feeling burned out and overly stressed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use humor to diffuse a tense situation.\", \"描述\": \"Treating a tense situation with humor and lightheartedness can really help to bring your stress level down. This could be laughing or making a joke when your child does something strange or acts out in public. Humor can help to release stress and make you feel less frustrated with your child.\\nYou could also turn the situation around by trying to make your child laugh. One parent noted that she uses earplugs and a white noise machine on her child to help her calm down when she has a tantrum. But sometimes, the parent puts the earplugs in her ears, which makes the child laugh and defuses a lot of the stress and tension between them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reaching Out to Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to other individuals who work with special needs children.\", \"描述\": \"It can be helpful to talk to other parents, caretakers, instructors, or teachers who work with special needs children. Sharing your joys, fears, issues, and challenges with others who can empathize can help you feel less stressed and overworked.\\nYou may have a parent who lives nearby that you can call and talk to or a special needs teacher who you can meet with for advice. Building a support network of individuals will make being patient and understanding with your special needs child that much easier, especially on challenging days.\\nIf you do not yet have a support network of individuals, you may try to meet people at your child’s school, or other parents at your child’s recreational classes. There are also online forums you can join where you can talk to other parents and caretakers about any issues or problems you may be experiencing with your special needs child.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a support group for parents of special needs children.\", \"描述\": \"Look for a support group that meets in your area. Support groups can be a very healthy way to deal with any issues or problems you may be experiencing with your child and allow you to connect with others who can understand where you are coming from.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for help from professionals if needed.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may be determined to care for your special needs child alone, remember that it can be a challenging and difficult job. There is no shame in reaching out to professional doctors or therapists for assistance, especially if you are struggling with maintaining your patience around your child.\\nYour primary care doctor can refer you to a therapist who is trained to work with special needs children as well as the parents of special needs children. You may need to commit to weekly or bi-monthly meetings where you discuss your issues and work on ways to cope with them.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,022 | How to Be Patient in Love | 1. Being Patient about Falling in Love
1-1. Realize that love isn't something that can be forced.
It takes time to connect with the person who is going to become your best friend, your helpmate, your partner in life. Rushing it wouldn't do any good because you might end up choosing someone who isn't right, just by being speedy. Allow love the time to blossom and the right person to walk into your life.
1-2. Make the most of the time you are single.
Use this time to learn more about who you are and what you want from life. Define your purpose. Find the things that give life to your passion and do them. The great thing about having time to fathom these things for yourself is that you'll end up doing things around people who have the same passions and interests as you; and amid those people may just be the person who is going to connect deeply with you.
1-3. Make the most of the time you are dating people.
Not all the people you date will end up being compatible with you. Moreover, even some of those you start planning a future with won't end up in that future. Some of these people may end up being a good friend or just someone you once knew, but each of them brings you closer to the person you will spend your lifetime with. In the process, you learn more about yourself in the context of a relationship and what does and doesn't work for you.
1-4. Be prepared to wait.
True love waits. Sometimes there is nothing else that you can do than than to wait––for the end of college, for the end of a relationship, for the end of long distance lives, for the end of a career move, and so forth. Whatever the reason, if it's true love, it will contain great patience before you can finally both come together as one.
1-5. Take it easy and slowly when you do fall in love.
Patience is again a virtue when it comes to the speed at which you fall in love. While it's great fun to feel the dizzy heights of falling in love, it's a phase that eventually turns into a more steady pace of daily routine, by which stage you need to have cemented firm friendship, deep commitment and acceptance of each other's foibles as much as your features. Taking it slowly allows both of you to really get to know each other and to be accepting of the limitations and less liked things, early on.
If you're having negative thoughts, try to list positive qualities about yourself to help you feel more confident.
2. Being Patient with the One You Love
2-1. Enjoy the journey as much as the outcome.
Falling in love and staying in love is a journey, not a destination in itself. Each part of this journey requires patience and a willingness to accept that a lifetime is a long time and there needs to be room for change, growth and maturation as well. Patience will turn out to be a big part of this journey, helping both of you to stay connected and understanding of one another for many decades to come.
2-2. Become a good listener.
It doesn't matter if you aren't one already, it is a skill any person can learn once they choose to do so. Being a good listener brings with it many benefits, including helping the other person to feel genuinely heard, actually understanding what motivates the other person and providing space for healing discussion during conflict. A patient heart that listens is often at the center of a healthy, loving relationship.
There are plenty of great resources available on how to be a good listener, and wikiHow is a great place to start: How to be a good listener, How to become a better listener and How to relearn listening to your spouse.
Learn to listen without interrupting. It may be hard to wait your turn but it is vital and it is a mark of respect toward the other person.
2-3. Learn to communicate well.
Communications lie at the heart of any relationship but especially so for those in a loving commitment. Conflict is an inevitable part of a relationship but it isn't to be viewed as solely a negative; conflict allows you get across things that need to be dealt with and then to resolve them together. Patience is the glue behind resolving any conflict the two of you may have, and sometimes you may need a huge does of patience to see things through to a satisfactory resolution. Improving your communication skills and your conflict resolution skills are key to achieving this effectively.
Learn to count to 10, breathe deeply and bite your savage words back when a conflict arises. If you need to, ask to leave the discussion until you feel ready to resume it later and take some time out to think things through.
Avoid being accusatory when you talk to your love. A patient approach looks for the good faith reasons behind actions and accepts that every person has their limitations.
2-4. Match your strengths to your love's weaknesses and match your love's strengths to your weaknesses.
You are a team in life, a force of togetherness and mutual support. Patience helps you to recognize both this and the reality that each of you needs to buffer and support the other by bringing both of your strengths to the fore. Be patient with your partner's weaknesses and be ready to make up for them with your strengths; in turn, expect the same from your partner.
For example, you're a whizz with budgeting and your partner is flaky with money. Guess who gets to do the bills weekly? Yet, you are flaky with getting anywhere on time, but your partner is an ace at timeliness, so guess who gets to organize your schedule?
2-5. Look forward to the future together.
Foresee what may unfold for both of you and plan together. Be patient about obtaining your shared goals, hopes and dreams. Rushing into them isn't advisable, for all good things take time to grow and bear fruit. Know that while it may seem hard now, with both of you resolving to make things better, to put your finances, efforts, skills and abilities toward the goals and dreams, you will both get there. As Rumi once wrote, "lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full." Plan together, work, share and laugh together, and reassure one another that the things you both seek will come to pass.
Tips
Forgive without bearing a grudge. A patient person waits to see the changes promised and guides through gentle reminders.
Be patient financially. It takes time to save money and it takes strength to not throw it away on things that have little value. If you are both careful financially, your future will be more secure.
Having patience provides excellent role modeling for your children. Providing the example of instant gratification is not a healthy way to raise your children; they each need to learn to be patient and wait for good things.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Patient about Falling in Love\\n1-1. Realize that love isn't something that can be forced.\\nIt takes time to connect with the person who is going to become your best friend, your helpmate, your partner in life. Rushing it wouldn't do any good because you might end up choosing someone who isn't right, just by being speedy. Allow love the time to blossom and the right person to walk into your life.\\n1-2. Make the most of the time you are single.\\nUse this time to learn more about who you are and what you want from life. Define your purpose. Find the things that give life to your passion and do them. The great thing about having time to fathom these things for yourself is that you'll end up doing things around people who have the same passions and interests as you; and amid those people may just be the person who is going to connect deeply with you.\\n1-3. Make the most of the time you are dating people.\\nNot all the people you date will end up being compatible with you. Moreover, even some of those you start planning a future with won't end up in that future. Some of these people may end up being a good friend or just someone you once knew, but each of them brings you closer to the person you will spend your lifetime with. In the process, you learn more about yourself in the context of a relationship and what does and doesn't work for you.\\n1-4. Be prepared to wait.\\nTrue love waits. Sometimes there is nothing else that you can do than than to wait––for the end of college, for the end of a relationship, for the end of long distance lives, for the end of a career move, and so forth. Whatever the reason, if it's true love, it will contain great patience before you can finally both come together as one.\\n1-5. Take it easy and slowly when you do fall in love.\\nPatience is again a virtue when it comes to the speed at which you fall in love. While it's great fun to feel the dizzy heights of falling in love, it's a phase that eventually turns into a more steady pace of daily routine, by which stage you need to have cemented firm friendship, deep commitment and acceptance of each other's foibles as much as your features. Taking it slowly allows both of you to really get to know each other and to be accepting of the limitations and less liked things, early on.\\nIf you're having negative thoughts, try to list positive qualities about yourself to help you feel more confident.\\n2. Being Patient with the One You Love\\n2-1. Enjoy the journey as much as the outcome.\\nFalling in love and staying in love is a journey, not a destination in itself. Each part of this journey requires patience and a willingness to accept that a lifetime is a long time and there needs to be room for change, growth and maturation as well. Patience will turn out to be a big part of this journey, helping both of you to stay connected and understanding of one another for many decades to come.\\n2-2. Become a good listener.\\nIt doesn't matter if you aren't one already, it is a skill any person can learn once they choose to do so. Being a good listener brings with it many benefits, including helping the other person to feel genuinely heard, actually understanding what motivates the other person and providing space for healing discussion during conflict. A patient heart that listens is often at the center of a healthy, loving relationship.\\nThere are plenty of great resources available on how to be a good listener, and wikiHow is a great place to start: How to be a good listener, How to become a better listener and How to relearn listening to your spouse.\\nLearn to listen without interrupting. It may be hard to wait your turn but it is vital and it is a mark of respect toward the other person.\\n2-3. Learn to communicate well.\\nCommunications lie at the heart of any relationship but especially so for those in a loving commitment. Conflict is an inevitable part of a relationship but it isn't to be viewed as solely a negative; conflict allows you get across things that need to be dealt with and then to resolve them together. Patience is the glue behind resolving any conflict the two of you may have, and sometimes you may need a huge does of patience to see things through to a satisfactory resolution. Improving your communication skills and your conflict resolution skills are key to achieving this effectively.\\nLearn to count to 10, breathe deeply and bite your savage words back when a conflict arises. If you need to, ask to leave the discussion until you feel ready to resume it later and take some time out to think things through.\\nAvoid being accusatory when you talk to your love. A patient approach looks for the good faith reasons behind actions and accepts that every person has their limitations.\\n2-4. Match your strengths to your love's weaknesses and match your love's strengths to your weaknesses.\\nYou are a team in life, a force of togetherness and mutual support. Patience helps you to recognize both this and the reality that each of you needs to buffer and support the other by bringing both of your strengths to the fore. Be patient with your partner's weaknesses and be ready to make up for them with your strengths; in turn, expect the same from your partner.\\nFor example, you're a whizz with budgeting and your partner is flaky with money. Guess who gets to do the bills weekly? Yet, you are flaky with getting anywhere on time, but your partner is an ace at timeliness, so guess who gets to organize your schedule?\\n2-5. Look forward to the future together.\\nForesee what may unfold for both of you and plan together. Be patient about obtaining your shared goals, hopes and dreams. Rushing into them isn't advisable, for all good things take time to grow and bear fruit. Know that while it may seem hard now, with both of you resolving to make things better, to put your finances, efforts, skills and abilities toward the goals and dreams, you will both get there. As Rumi once wrote, \\\"lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full.\\\" Plan together, work, share and laugh together, and reassure one another that the things you both seek will come to pass.\\nTips\\nForgive without bearing a grudge. A patient person waits to see the changes promised and guides through gentle reminders.\\nBe patient financially. It takes time to save money and it takes strength to not throw it away on things that have little value. If you are both careful financially, your future will be more secure.\\nHaving patience provides excellent role modeling for your children. Providing the example of instant gratification is not a healthy way to raise your children; they each need to learn to be patient and wait for good things.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are two kinds of being patient in love––one is being patient about finding the right person to fall in love with. The other is about being patient with the person you fell in love with. Both are important skills to acquire for a well-lived life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Patient about Falling in Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that love isn't something that can be forced.\", \"描述\": \"It takes time to connect with the person who is going to become your best friend, your helpmate, your partner in life. Rushing it wouldn't do any good because you might end up choosing someone who isn't right, just by being speedy. Allow love the time to blossom and the right person to walk into your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make the most of the time you are single.\", \"描述\": \"Use this time to learn more about who you are and what you want from life. Define your purpose. Find the things that give life to your passion and do them. The great thing about having time to fathom these things for yourself is that you'll end up doing things around people who have the same passions and interests as you; and amid those people may just be the person who is going to connect deeply with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make the most of the time you are dating people.\", \"描述\": \"Not all the people you date will end up being compatible with you. Moreover, even some of those you start planning a future with won't end up in that future. Some of these people may end up being a good friend or just someone you once knew, but each of them brings you closer to the person you will spend your lifetime with. In the process, you learn more about yourself in the context of a relationship and what does and doesn't work for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to wait.\", \"描述\": \"True love waits. Sometimes there is nothing else that you can do than than to wait––for the end of college, for the end of a relationship, for the end of long distance lives, for the end of a career move, and so forth. Whatever the reason, if it's true love, it will contain great patience before you can finally both come together as one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take it easy and slowly when you do fall in love.\", \"描述\": \"Patience is again a virtue when it comes to the speed at which you fall in love. While it's great fun to feel the dizzy heights of falling in love, it's a phase that eventually turns into a more steady pace of daily routine, by which stage you need to have cemented firm friendship, deep commitment and acceptance of each other's foibles as much as your features. Taking it slowly allows both of you to really get to know each other and to be accepting of the limitations and less liked things, early on.\\nIf you're having negative thoughts, try to list positive qualities about yourself to help you feel more confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Patient with the One You Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the journey as much as the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"Falling in love and staying in love is a journey, not a destination in itself. Each part of this journey requires patience and a willingness to accept that a lifetime is a long time and there needs to be room for change, growth and maturation as well. Patience will turn out to be a big part of this journey, helping both of you to stay connected and understanding of one another for many decades to come.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't matter if you aren't one already, it is a skill any person can learn once they choose to do so. Being a good listener brings with it many benefits, including helping the other person to feel genuinely heard, actually understanding what motivates the other person and providing space for healing discussion during conflict. A patient heart that listens is often at the center of a healthy, loving relationship.\\nThere are plenty of great resources available on how to be a good listener, and wikiHow is a great place to start: How to be a good listener, How to become a better listener and How to relearn listening to your spouse.\\nLearn to listen without interrupting. It may be hard to wait your turn but it is vital and it is a mark of respect toward the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to communicate well.\", \"描述\": \"Communications lie at the heart of any relationship but especially so for those in a loving commitment. Conflict is an inevitable part of a relationship but it isn't to be viewed as solely a negative; conflict allows you get across things that need to be dealt with and then to resolve them together. Patience is the glue behind resolving any conflict the two of you may have, and sometimes you may need a huge does of patience to see things through to a satisfactory resolution. Improving your communication skills and your conflict resolution skills are key to achieving this effectively.\\nLearn to count to 10, breathe deeply and bite your savage words back when a conflict arises. If you need to, ask to leave the discussion until you feel ready to resume it later and take some time out to think things through.\\nAvoid being accusatory when you talk to your love. A patient approach looks for the good faith reasons behind actions and accepts that every person has their limitations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Match your strengths to your love's weaknesses and match your love's strengths to your weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"You are a team in life, a force of togetherness and mutual support. Patience helps you to recognize both this and the reality that each of you needs to buffer and support the other by bringing both of your strengths to the fore. Be patient with your partner's weaknesses and be ready to make up for them with your strengths; in turn, expect the same from your partner.\\nFor example, you're a whizz with budgeting and your partner is flaky with money. Guess who gets to do the bills weekly? Yet, you are flaky with getting anywhere on time, but your partner is an ace at timeliness, so guess who gets to organize your schedule?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look forward to the future together.\", \"描述\": \"Foresee what may unfold for both of you and plan together. Be patient about obtaining your shared goals, hopes and dreams. Rushing into them isn't advisable, for all good things take time to grow and bear fruit. Know that while it may seem hard now, with both of you resolving to make things better, to put your finances, efforts, skills and abilities toward the goals and dreams, you will both get there. As Rumi once wrote, \\\"lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full.\\\" Plan together, work, share and laugh together, and reassure one another that the things you both seek will come to pass.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Forgive without bearing a grudge. A patient person waits to see the changes promised and guides through gentle reminders.\\n\", \"Be patient financially. It takes time to save money and it takes strength to not throw it away on things that have little value. If you are both careful financially, your future will be more secure.\\n\", \"Having patience provides excellent role modeling for your children. Providing the example of instant gratification is not a healthy way to raise your children; they each need to learn to be patient and wait for good things.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,023 | How to Be Patient with Parents | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand that avoidance doesn't work.
Most of the time, avoiding your parents seems like the easiest way to keep them off your back. Though this may work from time to time, it doesn't work in the long run. Keep in mind that parents want to make sure you're doing your best and being safe. If you save time to talk to them and talk to them about your day or how you're feeling, it makes the relationship more smooth. They begin to be involved in your life, even if it's a short conversation. Try your best to not avoid them - that only makes them think something is wrong.
Parents may take offense to the fact that you don't take the time to talk to them and update them. It makes it less complicated if you keep in contact with them and consistently inform them. Avoidance is much easier at a young age, but it makes the relationship more complicated and patience is required more often if you avoid them.
1-2. Keep them "in the loop".
Parents are stereotypically seen as nosey. They want to be updated on where you are when you're leaving, and what you're doing. It is not unusual for parents to want to be "in the loop", don't be offended when they ask multiple questions. Try your best to keep them updated and you should notice them becoming less resilient with their questions.
1-3. Change your perspective.
“You won't understand until you're a parent” is a commonly mentioned phrase. Parents like to think that kids don't understand their intentions solely because they may not have kids of their own. They may be right, but this is why we need to change our perspective. Try to put yourself in your parent's shoes and see where they are coming from. Parents tend to have good intentions with what they do. If you are starting to get frustrated, put yourself in their position and see if it makes sense as to what they are doing.
1-4. Be responsible.
With responsibility comes independence. Parents are afraid of this. Most of the time parents want to be in control and be able to make decisions for you, but as you get older your parents lose control of you and your decisions. With independence also comes maturity. Make sure you are responsible and that will show them how they don't have to be in control.
1-5. Earn their trust.
When trust is established, there is much more flexibility within a relationship between parents and children. In a study regarding parents establishing trust with adolescents, they found that trust was found when the child was more willing to give knowledge on daily activities. With the child giving the parents that information willingly gave the parents more trust in what their child would tell them. Establishing trust with parents causes them to become more patient with the kids in that they don't need to be “in-the-know” all of the time.
1-6. Keep in mind that they're your parents.
They want what is best for you in every way they know how. Parents want to keep their children as a priority and keep them safe. They don't annoy you or push you because they have impure intentions, they want what is best. It is sometimes difficult to see that when they are constantly wanting information, but they are your parents. Try to keep that in mind.
1-7. Lower your expectations.
It is often easy to compare your parents to other ones that you know. Every parent has a different parenting style, it may be hard to deal with or handle but there are ways to help. Lower your expectations of your parents and try to be understanding. Not all parents are similar, learn to deal with the style that they use.
1-8. Stay calm.
It is fairly easy to get mad or upset with parents and their decisions. Try to stay calm and have a conversation with them and point out what bothers you. Chances are they are willing to explain their reasoning. Be as open as you can with them and tell them your opinions are. Keeping them informed on how the things they do make you feel will help establish trust. Stay calm and have a meaningful conversation with them.
1-9. Know that lies don't make things better.
Although lying may seem like the most simple way out, it does not work in the long run. Lies tend to build up and eventually explode. Try your best to be honest even if it means you have to be vulnerable. Your parents are not looking for the simple answer, they want to know the truth. Even though lying is easy, try your best to tell the truth.
1-10. Take time to think.
Give yourself time to think about what is the best way to approach situations where your parents are involved. Giving yourself that time to think is important to clear your head. When you have time to think you may realize their intentions and how you have reacted. Try your best to think about what they want and give yourself time to think about how to handle it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand that avoidance doesn't work.\\nMost of the time, avoiding your parents seems like the easiest way to keep them off your back. Though this may work from time to time, it doesn't work in the long run. Keep in mind that parents want to make sure you're doing your best and being safe. If you save time to talk to them and talk to them about your day or how you're feeling, it makes the relationship more smooth. They begin to be involved in your life, even if it's a short conversation. Try your best to not avoid them - that only makes them think something is wrong.\\nParents may take offense to the fact that you don't take the time to talk to them and update them. It makes it less complicated if you keep in contact with them and consistently inform them. Avoidance is much easier at a young age, but it makes the relationship more complicated and patience is required more often if you avoid them.\\n1-2. Keep them \\\"in the loop\\\".\\nParents are stereotypically seen as nosey. They want to be updated on where you are when you're leaving, and what you're doing. It is not unusual for parents to want to be \\\"in the loop\\\", don't be offended when they ask multiple questions. Try your best to keep them updated and you should notice them becoming less resilient with their questions.\\n1-3. Change your perspective.\\n“You won't understand until you're a parent” is a commonly mentioned phrase. Parents like to think that kids don't understand their intentions solely because they may not have kids of their own. They may be right, but this is why we need to change our perspective. Try to put yourself in your parent's shoes and see where they are coming from. Parents tend to have good intentions with what they do. If you are starting to get frustrated, put yourself in their position and see if it makes sense as to what they are doing.\\n1-4. Be responsible.\\nWith responsibility comes independence. Parents are afraid of this. Most of the time parents want to be in control and be able to make decisions for you, but as you get older your parents lose control of you and your decisions. With independence also comes maturity. Make sure you are responsible and that will show them how they don't have to be in control.\\n1-5. Earn their trust.\\nWhen trust is established, there is much more flexibility within a relationship between parents and children. In a study regarding parents establishing trust with adolescents, they found that trust was found when the child was more willing to give knowledge on daily activities. With the child giving the parents that information willingly gave the parents more trust in what their child would tell them. Establishing trust with parents causes them to become more patient with the kids in that they don't need to be “in-the-know” all of the time.\\n1-6. Keep in mind that they're your parents.\\nThey want what is best for you in every way they know how. Parents want to keep their children as a priority and keep them safe. They don't annoy you or push you because they have impure intentions, they want what is best. It is sometimes difficult to see that when they are constantly wanting information, but they are your parents. Try to keep that in mind.\\n1-7. Lower your expectations.\\nIt is often easy to compare your parents to other ones that you know. Every parent has a different parenting style, it may be hard to deal with or handle but there are ways to help. Lower your expectations of your parents and try to be understanding. Not all parents are similar, learn to deal with the style that they use.\\n1-8. Stay calm.\\nIt is fairly easy to get mad or upset with parents and their decisions. Try to stay calm and have a conversation with them and point out what bothers you. Chances are they are willing to explain their reasoning. Be as open as you can with them and tell them your opinions are. Keeping them informed on how the things they do make you feel will help establish trust. Stay calm and have a meaningful conversation with them.\\n1-9. Know that lies don't make things better.\\nAlthough lying may seem like the most simple way out, it does not work in the long run. Lies tend to build up and eventually explode. Try your best to be honest even if it means you have to be vulnerable. Your parents are not looking for the simple answer, they want to know the truth. Even though lying is easy, try your best to tell the truth.\\n1-10. Take time to think.\\nGive yourself time to think about what is the best way to approach situations where your parents are involved. Giving yourself that time to think is important to clear your head. When you have time to think you may realize their intentions and how you have reacted. Try your best to think about what they want and give yourself time to think about how to handle it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everyone knows that parents can be difficult sometimes. It takes time and patience to be able to create a healthy relationship with your parents. Here are some steps that may help you with being more patient with your parents and try to understand where they are coming from.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand that avoidance doesn't work.\", \"描述\": \"Most of the time, avoiding your parents seems like the easiest way to keep them off your back. Though this may work from time to time, it doesn't work in the long run. Keep in mind that parents want to make sure you're doing your best and being safe. If you save time to talk to them and talk to them about your day or how you're feeling, it makes the relationship more smooth. They begin to be involved in your life, even if it's a short conversation. Try your best to not avoid them - that only makes them think something is wrong.\\nParents may take offense to the fact that you don't take the time to talk to them and update them. It makes it less complicated if you keep in contact with them and consistently inform them. Avoidance is much easier at a young age, but it makes the relationship more complicated and patience is required more often if you avoid them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep them \\\"in the loop\\\".\", \"描述\": \"Parents are stereotypically seen as nosey. They want to be updated on where you are when you're leaving, and what you're doing. It is not unusual for parents to want to be \\\"in the loop\\\", don't be offended when they ask multiple questions. Try your best to keep them updated and you should notice them becoming less resilient with their questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change your perspective.\", \"描述\": \"“You won't understand until you're a parent” is a commonly mentioned phrase. Parents like to think that kids don't understand their intentions solely because they may not have kids of their own. They may be right, but this is why we need to change our perspective. Try to put yourself in your parent's shoes and see where they are coming from. Parents tend to have good intentions with what they do. If you are starting to get frustrated, put yourself in their position and see if it makes sense as to what they are doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be responsible.\", \"描述\": \"With responsibility comes independence. Parents are afraid of this. Most of the time parents want to be in control and be able to make decisions for you, but as you get older your parents lose control of you and your decisions. With independence also comes maturity. Make sure you are responsible and that will show them how they don't have to be in control.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Earn their trust.\", \"描述\": \"When trust is established, there is much more flexibility within a relationship between parents and children. In a study regarding parents establishing trust with adolescents, they found that trust was found when the child was more willing to give knowledge on daily activities. With the child giving the parents that information willingly gave the parents more trust in what their child would tell them. Establishing trust with parents causes them to become more patient with the kids in that they don't need to be “in-the-know” all of the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind that they're your parents.\", \"描述\": \"They want what is best for you in every way they know how. Parents want to keep their children as a priority and keep them safe. They don't annoy you or push you because they have impure intentions, they want what is best. It is sometimes difficult to see that when they are constantly wanting information, but they are your parents. Try to keep that in mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Lower your expectations.\", \"描述\": \"It is often easy to compare your parents to other ones that you know. Every parent has a different parenting style, it may be hard to deal with or handle but there are ways to help. Lower your expectations of your parents and try to be understanding. Not all parents are similar, learn to deal with the style that they use.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"It is fairly easy to get mad or upset with parents and their decisions. Try to stay calm and have a conversation with them and point out what bothers you. Chances are they are willing to explain their reasoning. Be as open as you can with them and tell them your opinions are. Keeping them informed on how the things they do make you feel will help establish trust. Stay calm and have a meaningful conversation with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Know that lies don't make things better.\", \"描述\": \"Although lying may seem like the most simple way out, it does not work in the long run. Lies tend to build up and eventually explode. Try your best to be honest even if it means you have to be vulnerable. Your parents are not looking for the simple answer, they want to know the truth. Even though lying is easy, try your best to tell the truth.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Take time to think.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself time to think about what is the best way to approach situations where your parents are involved. Giving yourself that time to think is important to clear your head. When you have time to think you may realize their intentions and how you have reacted. Try your best to think about what they want and give yourself time to think about how to handle it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,024 | How to Be Patriotic | 1. Understanding Patriotism
1-1. Learn the difference between patriotism and nationalism.
Nationalism refers to a blind belief that one's nation or cultural heritage is superior to others, while patriotism refers to a feeling of admiration for a particular belief or way of life. The two terms are often used interchangeably, and it's important to distinguish patriotism for what it is.
Nationalism is often marked by "us versus them" rhetoric and behavior. Nationalists believe that people who don't believe in the superiority of a nation or culture are somehow lesser.
A patriotic attitude is marked by an understanding of a nation's history, accomplishments, and positive contributions to culture. Patriotism also recognizes a nation's failures and negative influence.
1-2. Understand how patriotism is used.
Patriotism is one of the most common beliefs manipulated in propaganda. Patriotic values and rhetoric is commonly subverted by those who try to manipulate certain beliefs or behaviors. The word "patriot" and "patriotism" is often used as a bludgeon to question someone's commitment and love for their country in a way that's actually more akin to nationalism.
A patriotic person may be moved by an appeal to their love of their country. However, alert citizens should be aware of the intentions of the messages they hear and the potential impact of the actions they seek to accomplish.
How patriotic you are is not determined by how well you conform to what messages propaganda circulates as truth. Patriots can love their country without blindly following the popular majority.
1-3. Learn about where you live.
Discover the history of your nation and how it grew to be what it is today. Find facts that surprise you, challenge you, make you laugh or make you proud. Try finding more about your country's past leaders, flag, national animal, famous landmarks, gastronomy, traditions, films, literature. Learn everything and anything unique to your nation.
Read books and articles by authors writing today. Stay as up to date as possible about what it means to be a member of the country where you live.
1-4. Learn about your cultural and natural history as well.
The land that you stand on existed long before a government was there to name it. Greece, for example, became its own country by declaring independence from the Ottoman Empire in 1821, although Greek culture is ancient. A patriotic Greek person may have a fairly complicated interpretation of what it means to be Greek, and nuanced opinions about culture and government, entirely separately.
What people were native to the lands that are now your country? What grows there? What animals call it home? Learn everything you can about the place you call home.
1-5. Understand the history of other countries as well.
Just as it's important to get a good sense of the land you call home, it's important to get a good sense of the land your neighbors call home as well. Learn your country's place in the world.
Learn about the beliefs others have about their own countries. What does it mean to be patriotic in European countries? In the Americas? In Africa? National identities and attitudes are as varied as the countries they're found in.
2. Being Patriotic
2-1. Stay informed.
Learning the history of your country is helpful, but it's also important to stay up to date on what your country is doing in the here and now. Your nation may be quite old, with a rich history, as in the case of Japan or France, or relatively new, with a fresh sense of self, as in the case of the United States.
Find causes you believe in. What issues affect your country today? What are the most important problems facing your nation?
Learn about your country's foreign policy. How does your country relate to the world? What role does your country play in its region?
2-2. Keep your government honest as far as is possible.
Who is making the decisions in your country? Do you agree or disagree with the direction in which your country is headed? If you feel patriotic about your country, make it your goal to get involved and understand what's going on.
No nation is free of faults. The United States, for examples, has a history of prejudice and racism, which still influences its culture today. Knowing this, researching this, and understanding this doesn't make you less patriotic. Know your country's past and be watchful of your government today to prevent future atrocities and abuses of power.
2-3. Participate in local government.
If you care about the place you live, get involved on the local level. Vote locally if you participate in a direct or representative democracy system, or otherwise find a way to let your voice be heard. Talk to your town leaders or elders, and find out who makes the decisions around you.
This doesn't have to be a big deal. If you feel patriotic, just talking to your neighbors and looking out for people can be a sign of this. Influence the way things go down in your neighborhood. Make it a safe place you're proud to call home. That's patriotism.
2-4. Look at issues from both sides.
Increasingly, it can be difficult to find "objective" information. Everything seems to have a bias to it, and it can be hard to know what perspective you're actually reading. Do your best to examine issues from multiple angles, taking into consideration the people doing the reporting. Who stands to gain from a particular perspective? Who stands to lose?
2-5. Display your pride, if you want to.
If you feel like showing your patriotism with dress, bumper stickers, flags, and other displays, then go for it. National holidays and other important dates in your nation's history are great times to let everyone know where you come from and how proud you are of it.
In some countries, flags are commonly flown outside of homes in support of the nation. In others, this would be a strange sight. It doesn't make the residents of the latter home any less patriotic.
Displays are the cheapest form of patriotism. It takes more than a symbol to be really patriotic. It's fine to show it, but never question anyone else's patriotism for not showing it.
2-6. Love your country with open eyes.
Every country has positive qualities and negative qualities, and no one national identity is superior to another. Loving a nation doesn't mean you should ignore or stay silent about its failures. It is important to be informed. It's also perfectly acceptable to love your country for its cultural heritage, its successes, and its unique character, in spite of its shortcomings by emphasizing the positive and working towards a better future for all who call your nation home.
Tips
Remember you can make the nation/team a better one so get involved.
Pick up litter around the teams home ground, buy a flag, learn the National Anthem and read up on heroes of your nation.
Celebrate the holidays that make your country what it is today. Show your patriotism by understanding the days and celebrating them in the appropriate style.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Patriotism\\n1-1. Learn the difference between patriotism and nationalism.\\nNationalism refers to a blind belief that one's nation or cultural heritage is superior to others, while patriotism refers to a feeling of admiration for a particular belief or way of life. The two terms are often used interchangeably, and it's important to distinguish patriotism for what it is.\\nNationalism is often marked by \\\"us versus them\\\" rhetoric and behavior. Nationalists believe that people who don't believe in the superiority of a nation or culture are somehow lesser.\\nA patriotic attitude is marked by an understanding of a nation's history, accomplishments, and positive contributions to culture. Patriotism also recognizes a nation's failures and negative influence.\\n1-2. Understand how patriotism is used.\\nPatriotism is one of the most common beliefs manipulated in propaganda. Patriotic values and rhetoric is commonly subverted by those who try to manipulate certain beliefs or behaviors. The word \\\"patriot\\\" and \\\"patriotism\\\" is often used as a bludgeon to question someone's commitment and love for their country in a way that's actually more akin to nationalism.\\nA patriotic person may be moved by an appeal to their love of their country. However, alert citizens should be aware of the intentions of the messages they hear and the potential impact of the actions they seek to accomplish.\\nHow patriotic you are is not determined by how well you conform to what messages propaganda circulates as truth. Patriots can love their country without blindly following the popular majority.\\n1-3. Learn about where you live.\\nDiscover the history of your nation and how it grew to be what it is today. Find facts that surprise you, challenge you, make you laugh or make you proud. Try finding more about your country's past leaders, flag, national animal, famous landmarks, gastronomy, traditions, films, literature. Learn everything and anything unique to your nation.\\nRead books and articles by authors writing today. Stay as up to date as possible about what it means to be a member of the country where you live.\\n1-4. Learn about your cultural and natural history as well.\\nThe land that you stand on existed long before a government was there to name it. Greece, for example, became its own country by declaring independence from the Ottoman Empire in 1821, although Greek culture is ancient. A patriotic Greek person may have a fairly complicated interpretation of what it means to be Greek, and nuanced opinions about culture and government, entirely separately.\\nWhat people were native to the lands that are now your country? What grows there? What animals call it home? Learn everything you can about the place you call home.\\n1-5. Understand the history of other countries as well.\\nJust as it's important to get a good sense of the land you call home, it's important to get a good sense of the land your neighbors call home as well. Learn your country's place in the world.\\nLearn about the beliefs others have about their own countries. What does it mean to be patriotic in European countries? In the Americas? In Africa? National identities and attitudes are as varied as the countries they're found in.\\n2. Being Patriotic\\n2-1. Stay informed.\\nLearning the history of your country is helpful, but it's also important to stay up to date on what your country is doing in the here and now. Your nation may be quite old, with a rich history, as in the case of Japan or France, or relatively new, with a fresh sense of self, as in the case of the United States.\\nFind causes you believe in. What issues affect your country today? What are the most important problems facing your nation?\\nLearn about your country's foreign policy. How does your country relate to the world? What role does your country play in its region?\\n2-2. Keep your government honest as far as is possible.\\nWho is making the decisions in your country? Do you agree or disagree with the direction in which your country is headed? If you feel patriotic about your country, make it your goal to get involved and understand what's going on.\\nNo nation is free of faults. The United States, for examples, has a history of prejudice and racism, which still influences its culture today. Knowing this, researching this, and understanding this doesn't make you less patriotic. Know your country's past and be watchful of your government today to prevent future atrocities and abuses of power.\\n2-3. Participate in local government.\\nIf you care about the place you live, get involved on the local level. Vote locally if you participate in a direct or representative democracy system, or otherwise find a way to let your voice be heard. Talk to your town leaders or elders, and find out who makes the decisions around you.\\nThis doesn't have to be a big deal. If you feel patriotic, just talking to your neighbors and looking out for people can be a sign of this. Influence the way things go down in your neighborhood. Make it a safe place you're proud to call home. That's patriotism.\\n2-4. Look at issues from both sides.\\nIncreasingly, it can be difficult to find \\\"objective\\\" information. Everything seems to have a bias to it, and it can be hard to know what perspective you're actually reading. Do your best to examine issues from multiple angles, taking into consideration the people doing the reporting. Who stands to gain from a particular perspective? Who stands to lose?\\n2-5. Display your pride, if you want to.\\nIf you feel like showing your patriotism with dress, bumper stickers, flags, and other displays, then go for it. National holidays and other important dates in your nation's history are great times to let everyone know where you come from and how proud you are of it.\\nIn some countries, flags are commonly flown outside of homes in support of the nation. In others, this would be a strange sight. It doesn't make the residents of the latter home any less patriotic.\\nDisplays are the cheapest form of patriotism. It takes more than a symbol to be really patriotic. It's fine to show it, but never question anyone else's patriotism for not showing it.\\n2-6. Love your country with open eyes.\\nEvery country has positive qualities and negative qualities, and no one national identity is superior to another. Loving a nation doesn't mean you should ignore or stay silent about its failures. It is important to be informed. It's also perfectly acceptable to love your country for its cultural heritage, its successes, and its unique character, in spite of its shortcomings by emphasizing the positive and working towards a better future for all who call your nation home.\\nTips\\nRemember you can make the nation/team a better one so get involved.\\nPick up litter around the teams home ground, buy a flag, learn the National Anthem and read up on heroes of your nation.\\nCelebrate the holidays that make your country what it is today. Show your patriotism by understanding the days and celebrating them in the appropriate style.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Patriotism runs deeper than flag lapels and bumper stickers. If you want to learn what patriotism means and how to develop your own sense of patriotism for your country, you can learn how to get more involved.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Patriotism\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn the difference between patriotism and nationalism.\", \"描述\": \"Nationalism refers to a blind belief that one's nation or cultural heritage is superior to others, while patriotism refers to a feeling of admiration for a particular belief or way of life. The two terms are often used interchangeably, and it's important to distinguish patriotism for what it is.\\nNationalism is often marked by \\\"us versus them\\\" rhetoric and behavior. Nationalists believe that people who don't believe in the superiority of a nation or culture are somehow lesser.\\nA patriotic attitude is marked by an understanding of a nation's history, accomplishments, and positive contributions to culture. Patriotism also recognizes a nation's failures and negative influence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand how patriotism is used.\", \"描述\": \"Patriotism is one of the most common beliefs manipulated in propaganda. Patriotic values and rhetoric is commonly subverted by those who try to manipulate certain beliefs or behaviors. The word \\\"patriot\\\" and \\\"patriotism\\\" is often used as a bludgeon to question someone's commitment and love for their country in a way that's actually more akin to nationalism.\\nA patriotic person may be moved by an appeal to their love of their country. However, alert citizens should be aware of the intentions of the messages they hear and the potential impact of the actions they seek to accomplish.\\nHow patriotic you are is not determined by how well you conform to what messages propaganda circulates as truth. Patriots can love their country without blindly following the popular majority.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn about where you live.\", \"描述\": \"Discover the history of your nation and how it grew to be what it is today. Find facts that surprise you, challenge you, make you laugh or make you proud. Try finding more about your country's past leaders, flag, national animal, famous landmarks, gastronomy, traditions, films, literature. Learn everything and anything unique to your nation.\\nRead books and articles by authors writing today. Stay as up to date as possible about what it means to be a member of the country where you live.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn about your cultural and natural history as well.\", \"描述\": \"The land that you stand on existed long before a government was there to name it. Greece, for example, became its own country by declaring independence from the Ottoman Empire in 1821, although Greek culture is ancient. A patriotic Greek person may have a fairly complicated interpretation of what it means to be Greek, and nuanced opinions about culture and government, entirely separately.\\nWhat people were native to the lands that are now your country? What grows there? What animals call it home? Learn everything you can about the place you call home.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand the history of other countries as well.\", \"描述\": \"Just as it's important to get a good sense of the land you call home, it's important to get a good sense of the land your neighbors call home as well. Learn your country's place in the world.\\nLearn about the beliefs others have about their own countries. What does it mean to be patriotic in European countries? In the Americas? In Africa? National identities and attitudes are as varied as the countries they're found in.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Patriotic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay informed.\", \"描述\": \"Learning the history of your country is helpful, but it's also important to stay up to date on what your country is doing in the here and now. Your nation may be quite old, with a rich history, as in the case of Japan or France, or relatively new, with a fresh sense of self, as in the case of the United States.\\nFind causes you believe in. What issues affect your country today? What are the most important problems facing your nation?\\nLearn about your country's foreign policy. How does your country relate to the world? What role does your country play in its region?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your government honest as far as is possible.\", \"描述\": \"Who is making the decisions in your country? Do you agree or disagree with the direction in which your country is headed? If you feel patriotic about your country, make it your goal to get involved and understand what's going on.\\nNo nation is free of faults. The United States, for examples, has a history of prejudice and racism, which still influences its culture today. Knowing this, researching this, and understanding this doesn't make you less patriotic. Know your country's past and be watchful of your government today to prevent future atrocities and abuses of power.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Participate in local government.\", \"描述\": \"If you care about the place you live, get involved on the local level. Vote locally if you participate in a direct or representative democracy system, or otherwise find a way to let your voice be heard. Talk to your town leaders or elders, and find out who makes the decisions around you.\\nThis doesn't have to be a big deal. If you feel patriotic, just talking to your neighbors and looking out for people can be a sign of this. Influence the way things go down in your neighborhood. Make it a safe place you're proud to call home. That's patriotism.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look at issues from both sides.\", \"描述\": \"Increasingly, it can be difficult to find \\\"objective\\\" information. Everything seems to have a bias to it, and it can be hard to know what perspective you're actually reading. Do your best to examine issues from multiple angles, taking into consideration the people doing the reporting. Who stands to gain from a particular perspective? Who stands to lose?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Display your pride, if you want to.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like showing your patriotism with dress, bumper stickers, flags, and other displays, then go for it. National holidays and other important dates in your nation's history are great times to let everyone know where you come from and how proud you are of it.\\nIn some countries, flags are commonly flown outside of homes in support of the nation. In others, this would be a strange sight. It doesn't make the residents of the latter home any less patriotic.\\nDisplays are the cheapest form of patriotism. It takes more than a symbol to be really patriotic. It's fine to show it, but never question anyone else's patriotism for not showing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Love your country with open eyes.\", \"描述\": \"Every country has positive qualities and negative qualities, and no one national identity is superior to another. Loving a nation doesn't mean you should ignore or stay silent about its failures. It is important to be informed. It's also perfectly acceptable to love your country for its cultural heritage, its successes, and its unique character, in spite of its shortcomings by emphasizing the positive and working towards a better future for all who call your nation home.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember you can make the nation/team a better one so get involved.\\n\", \"Pick up litter around the teams home ground, buy a flag, learn the National Anthem and read up on heroes of your nation.\\n\", \"Celebrate the holidays that make your country what it is today. Show your patriotism by understanding the days and celebrating them in the appropriate style.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,025 | How to Be Peaceful | 1. Finding Internal Peace
1-1. Practice what brings you peace.
Finding internal peace begins with identifying what makes you feel calm. Consider activities you enjoy that leave you with a sense of peace and calm. Make time in your schedule to practice calming and centering activities on a regular basis. Some peaceful activities may include:
Reading a book.
Enjoying quiet time or silence.
Engaging in creative arts.
Listening to calming sounds such as ocean waves, weather sounds, or sounds of animals.
1-2. Meditate
A very successful way to calm your mind and find internal peace is to practice meditation. Meditation will help you train your mind to be peaceful and more clear. When you meditate, make sure you are in a quiet place free of distractions, such as in a room by yourself. Sit in a position that is comfortable for you; either in a chair or on the floor. Try and keep your back straight for better breathing.
Close your eyes and turn your attention to your breathing. Notice the sensation of the breath as it comes in and goes out. Don't try to control or change your breath, just focus on it.
Thoughts may surface with a strong temptation to follow the train of thought as it comes up. If you notice your mind wandering, gently refocus on your breath. The more you practice this the easier it will be and the fewer distractions will occur.
Try setting an intention. You can meditate on any intention that resonates most with you, such as gratitude, the beauty of nature, the love of your family, and so on. Anything that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside when you think about it would make a good intention. Having something to focus on can be helpful for beginners.
Try additional guided meditations, guided imagery, loving kindness meditations, or even attending meditation classes.
1-3. Manage the stress in your life.
Stress and anxiety will interfere with your sense of calm and peace. Counteract it by addressing anything that is causing you stress in your life. If financial management or money issues are causing you stress, make a plan to deal with them right away. Take control of your stress management in order to be more peaceful in your everyday life. Choose a stress management technique and plan that work for you and makes the most sense in your life. Try the following coping skills.
For 10 to 15 minutes a day, write about things that are bothering you and how you are feeling about them.
Find a way to let your feelings out such as talking, laughing, or crying.
Spend some time around animals such as extra time around your pets, or going to a petting zoo.
1-4. Do physical activity.
Certain types of exercises or sports have been shown to provide a sense of peace in the person who practices it. Try engaging in a physical activity that allows you to release your stress, and find relaxation afterwards. Regular physical activity helps promote balance in your life and peacefulness of your mind and mood.
Exercises like running have proven to be almost meditative in the sense of peace they provide.
Physical activities like tennis, batting cages, or golfing at a driving range, will allow you to work out extra energy, stress, or aggression.
More meditative exercises like pilates and yoga will help you focus your mind and have a more peaceful relationship between your mind and body.
1-5. Practice self reflection.
In a society where it is easy to be labeled and judged, it is hard not to judge yourself based on what others think. Living this way will only cause you stress and and a decreased sense of peace and happiness. Instead, practice self-reflection. Determine what you think and how you feel about yourself. Use your self-reflection to provide yourself with the sense of peace that comes from being the person you want to be.
Pay special attention to the internal judgments that you are inflicting on yourself. Work towards replacing the criticism with more peaceful thoughts.
1-6. Allow and accept change.
Change is often difficult to accept and can be very stressful. It is common to become comfortable and be resistant to change. The difficulty here is that change is constantly occurring, and that by being resistant to it, you will just be causing yourself unnecessary stress. To be more peaceful begin to accept and allow changes to occur without resisting them in the following ways:
Accept change by realizing you and your life are always growing and changing. Accept change as a learning process to a better life.
Let go of fear. A great deal of the time we are resistant to change due to a fear of the unknown. Letting go of that fear allows you to accept change.
Recognize that resistance causes more turbulence in our lives and uses more energy than acceptance.
1-7. Discontinue bad habits
If there is something you identify as a “bad habit” it is going to cause you stress and interfere with your peace. Breaking a bad habit can be extremely difficult, but can also lead you to the path of improvement of a peaceful and balanced person.
Do not discontinue multiple bad habits at once. This sets you up for failure for trying too much at once. Try working on one bad habit at a time.
Put it in writing. Write down what bad habit you are quitting and when you are quitting it by. This holds you accountable and helps solidify your commitment.
Switch out your bad habit for another activity. For example, if you are a smoker, try chewing gum instead.
2. Developing Peaceful Relationships
2-1. Accept people for who they are.
Wishing others would change or attempting to change others will cause you stress. It can easily make it difficult to remain peaceful in a relationship. Instead of attempting to change or control others, accept and love them (including their faults) for a more peaceful relationship.
Try writing a list of what you appreciate or are grateful for with the individuals in your life.
Remind yourself that everyone has flaws. No one is perfect.
2-2. Tell the truth
Holding in your thoughts and feelings in a relationship will not help you be peaceful. Part of being peaceful is being at peace with yourself. Honesty is a vital component to being at peace with yourself. So, be honest, but kind, when communicating what you really think and feel.
Having an open and honest dialogue in your relationships with others helps the relationship be more peaceful as well. It sets up a tone which communicates that if there are problems, they can be discussed and brought out into the open. You can state, “I want to you to be comfortable talking to me about anything.”
Make sure you are communicating any frustrations or negative feelings in order to address them as quickly as possible. Try saying, “Our relationship is important to me. I don't want to bottle anything up and risk having it affect our relationship.”
Have conversations just to check-in with loved ones. It will illustrate that you are interested in your loved ones well-being, and will make them more comfortable talking with you. You can begin with a simple, “How are you really doing?”
2-3. Speak in a calm and relaxing voice.
What you say to convey peacefulness is important, but equally important is how you say it. The way you communicate with others is complex and conveys a great deal about your emotions and state of mind. Being peaceful in relationships with others includes speaking in a peaceful way.
Speak slowly and thoughtfully.
Notice the volume of your voice. If you are loud, try quieting your voice.
Try to use a softer tone when you speak instead of a more stressful or sharp tone.
Pay attention to the words that you use. Consider what they are conveying about your outlook.
2-4. Let go of difficult or negative people.
As you are trying to accept others for who they are, you may come across some who make that difficult. People who are consistently negative can only interrupt your sense of peace. It may be best to let them go or remove them from your life. If you feel like you cannot let go of people completely, limit the contact you have with them.
While you want to be accepting of people and their imperfections, this doesn't mean you have to accept everything another person does. You are allowed to set boundaries as to what you will and will not accept in your life. For instance, you can't stop a boyfriend from doing drugs, but you can set a boundary that if he does them around you, you are leaving the relationship.
Separate yourself from violent or aggressive people. A peaceful person does not engage in violence against herself or others.
Let go of anyone you feel disturbs your peacefulness.
2-5. Parent peacefully.
Parenting peacefully can be difficult. It is hard not to get caught up in the stress now and then. Start small, by changing one thing you do into something more peaceful. Once you feel you have accomplished that, begin a new one. Also try to notice the part you play and how you can help create the change you are looking for.
Try to remove or avoid critical or blaming statements.
Instead of focusing on what your child may have done wrong, focus on what he did well or praise him for trying. Instead of saying "Look at the mess you made! You never pick up your toys!" try, "Wow, you are playful and have lots of energy today! What is your favorite toy right now? Let's do something fun with that toy, and put the rest away to play with later."
Be the peace you wish to see in your child. Become peaceful yourself before expecting your child to be peaceful. Children need to be taught how to behave, including being peaceful. Lead by example and demonstrate the kind of peacefulness you would like to see in your child and in your relationship with him.
2-6. Keep a journal
Journaling is a great practice to help you be peaceful. Creating a journal will help focus your peaceful intentions in the areas of your life that need more attention. It will also help you organize your thoughts and plans. Journaling allows you a safe space to vent your frustration and stress so that you can be peaceful with others.
Try prompts like the following: "Today being peaceful was difficult because..." "Today being peaceful was rewarding because..." or "I am going to try to be more peaceful by..."
You might also keep a gratitude journal, where each day you write down something that you're grateful for. This can help you develop a more positive mindset.
3. Creating a Peaceful Environment
3-1. Declutter
Minimize toys and physical clutter in your environment. Being peaceful includes having a peaceful environment as well as a peaceful mindset. Help make your environment peaceful by ridding your home of clutter. Toss or donate things you do not use or toys your children no longer play with. Make sure the items that you own all have a dedicated place. Having less clutter in your home will increase your sense of peace.
3-2. Keep your work life and home life separate.
Being peaceful at home, in relationships, and within yourself are all important aspects of a peaceful life. Keeping peaceful in all aspects may include a peaceful work environment as well keeping your work and home life separate. Try the following.
Having less clutter in your work space will provide the same result as less clutter in your home. Be more peaceful at work by making sure your work space is clean and clear.
Try and leave any work stress you experience during the day at work. One way to accomplish this is to make sure you start and stop work on time. Having firm boundaries will help prevent your work life from causing stress in your personal life.
Maintain professionalism at work and limit the personal information you divulge at work.
3-3. Use soothing tones or textures in your decorating.
Being peaceful in your home environment, may not be as difficult as you think. Some small changes to your paint colors or decorating can produce big calming and peaceful effects. In order to increase the peaceful feel of your home try the following.
Use soothing tones like shades of light blue or beige in paint, furniture or decor.
Have a small vase or plant in every room to help create a calming feel and a connection to nature.
Spend the extra money on high-end sheets so that you can end your day with soothing peaceful sleep.
3-4. Fill your home with soothing scents and sounds.
Being peaceful can be a full-sensory experience for you. Changing the scents or sounds within your home can help increase the relaxation and calm for you and your family.
Soothing sounds can include nature sounds as well as certain types of music like classical music.
Soothing scents can include lavender, rosemary, jasmine, Ylang Ylang, sweet orange, and bergamot.
Tips
Being in peace not only releases your stress but also keeps your mind fresh.
You may also want to start celebrating International Day of Peace.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Internal Peace\\n1-1. Practice what brings you peace.\\nFinding internal peace begins with identifying what makes you feel calm. Consider activities you enjoy that leave you with a sense of peace and calm. Make time in your schedule to practice calming and centering activities on a regular basis. Some peaceful activities may include:\\nReading a book.\\nEnjoying quiet time or silence.\\nEngaging in creative arts.\\nListening to calming sounds such as ocean waves, weather sounds, or sounds of animals.\\n1-2. Meditate\\nA very successful way to calm your mind and find internal peace is to practice meditation. Meditation will help you train your mind to be peaceful and more clear. When you meditate, make sure you are in a quiet place free of distractions, such as in a room by yourself. Sit in a position that is comfortable for you; either in a chair or on the floor. Try and keep your back straight for better breathing.\\nClose your eyes and turn your attention to your breathing. Notice the sensation of the breath as it comes in and goes out. Don't try to control or change your breath, just focus on it.\\nThoughts may surface with a strong temptation to follow the train of thought as it comes up. If you notice your mind wandering, gently refocus on your breath. The more you practice this the easier it will be and the fewer distractions will occur.\\nTry setting an intention. You can meditate on any intention that resonates most with you, such as gratitude, the beauty of nature, the love of your family, and so on. Anything that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside when you think about it would make a good intention. Having something to focus on can be helpful for beginners.\\nTry additional guided meditations, guided imagery, loving kindness meditations, or even attending meditation classes.\\n1-3. Manage the stress in your life.\\nStress and anxiety will interfere with your sense of calm and peace. Counteract it by addressing anything that is causing you stress in your life. If financial management or money issues are causing you stress, make a plan to deal with them right away. Take control of your stress management in order to be more peaceful in your everyday life. Choose a stress management technique and plan that work for you and makes the most sense in your life. Try the following coping skills.\\nFor 10 to 15 minutes a day, write about things that are bothering you and how you are feeling about them.\\nFind a way to let your feelings out such as talking, laughing, or crying.\\nSpend some time around animals such as extra time around your pets, or going to a petting zoo.\\n1-4. Do physical activity.\\nCertain types of exercises or sports have been shown to provide a sense of peace in the person who practices it. Try engaging in a physical activity that allows you to release your stress, and find relaxation afterwards. Regular physical activity helps promote balance in your life and peacefulness of your mind and mood.\\nExercises like running have proven to be almost meditative in the sense of peace they provide.\\nPhysical activities like tennis, batting cages, or golfing at a driving range, will allow you to work out extra energy, stress, or aggression.\\nMore meditative exercises like pilates and yoga will help you focus your mind and have a more peaceful relationship between your mind and body.\\n1-5. Practice self reflection.\\nIn a society where it is easy to be labeled and judged, it is hard not to judge yourself based on what others think. Living this way will only cause you stress and and a decreased sense of peace and happiness. Instead, practice self-reflection. Determine what you think and how you feel about yourself. Use your self-reflection to provide yourself with the sense of peace that comes from being the person you want to be.\\nPay special attention to the internal judgments that you are inflicting on yourself. Work towards replacing the criticism with more peaceful thoughts.\\n1-6. Allow and accept change.\\nChange is often difficult to accept and can be very stressful. It is common to become comfortable and be resistant to change. The difficulty here is that change is constantly occurring, and that by being resistant to it, you will just be causing yourself unnecessary stress. To be more peaceful begin to accept and allow changes to occur without resisting them in the following ways:\\nAccept change by realizing you and your life are always growing and changing. Accept change as a learning process to a better life.\\nLet go of fear. A great deal of the time we are resistant to change due to a fear of the unknown. Letting go of that fear allows you to accept change.\\nRecognize that resistance causes more turbulence in our lives and uses more energy than acceptance.\\n1-7. Discontinue bad habits\\nIf there is something you identify as a “bad habit” it is going to cause you stress and interfere with your peace. Breaking a bad habit can be extremely difficult, but can also lead you to the path of improvement of a peaceful and balanced person.\\nDo not discontinue multiple bad habits at once. This sets you up for failure for trying too much at once. Try working on one bad habit at a time.\\nPut it in writing. Write down what bad habit you are quitting and when you are quitting it by. This holds you accountable and helps solidify your commitment.\\nSwitch out your bad habit for another activity. For example, if you are a smoker, try chewing gum instead.\\n2. Developing Peaceful Relationships\\n2-1. Accept people for who they are.\\nWishing others would change or attempting to change others will cause you stress. It can easily make it difficult to remain peaceful in a relationship. Instead of attempting to change or control others, accept and love them (including their faults) for a more peaceful relationship.\\nTry writing a list of what you appreciate or are grateful for with the individuals in your life.\\nRemind yourself that everyone has flaws. No one is perfect.\\n2-2. Tell the truth\\nHolding in your thoughts and feelings in a relationship will not help you be peaceful. Part of being peaceful is being at peace with yourself. Honesty is a vital component to being at peace with yourself. So, be honest, but kind, when communicating what you really think and feel.\\nHaving an open and honest dialogue in your relationships with others helps the relationship be more peaceful as well. It sets up a tone which communicates that if there are problems, they can be discussed and brought out into the open. You can state, “I want to you to be comfortable talking to me about anything.”\\nMake sure you are communicating any frustrations or negative feelings in order to address them as quickly as possible. Try saying, “Our relationship is important to me. I don't want to bottle anything up and risk having it affect our relationship.”\\nHave conversations just to check-in with loved ones. It will illustrate that you are interested in your loved ones well-being, and will make them more comfortable talking with you. You can begin with a simple, “How are you really doing?”\\n2-3. Speak in a calm and relaxing voice.\\nWhat you say to convey peacefulness is important, but equally important is how you say it. The way you communicate with others is complex and conveys a great deal about your emotions and state of mind. Being peaceful in relationships with others includes speaking in a peaceful way. \\nSpeak slowly and thoughtfully.\\nNotice the volume of your voice. If you are loud, try quieting your voice.\\nTry to use a softer tone when you speak instead of a more stressful or sharp tone.\\nPay attention to the words that you use. Consider what they are conveying about your outlook.\\n2-4. Let go of difficult or negative people.\\nAs you are trying to accept others for who they are, you may come across some who make that difficult. People who are consistently negative can only interrupt your sense of peace. It may be best to let them go or remove them from your life. If you feel like you cannot let go of people completely, limit the contact you have with them.\\nWhile you want to be accepting of people and their imperfections, this doesn't mean you have to accept everything another person does. You are allowed to set boundaries as to what you will and will not accept in your life. For instance, you can't stop a boyfriend from doing drugs, but you can set a boundary that if he does them around you, you are leaving the relationship.\\nSeparate yourself from violent or aggressive people. A peaceful person does not engage in violence against herself or others.\\nLet go of anyone you feel disturbs your peacefulness.\\n2-5. Parent peacefully.\\nParenting peacefully can be difficult. It is hard not to get caught up in the stress now and then. Start small, by changing one thing you do into something more peaceful. Once you feel you have accomplished that, begin a new one. Also try to notice the part you play and how you can help create the change you are looking for.\\nTry to remove or avoid critical or blaming statements.\\nInstead of focusing on what your child may have done wrong, focus on what he did well or praise him for trying. Instead of saying \\\"Look at the mess you made! You never pick up your toys!\\\" try, \\\"Wow, you are playful and have lots of energy today! What is your favorite toy right now? Let's do something fun with that toy, and put the rest away to play with later.\\\"\\nBe the peace you wish to see in your child. Become peaceful yourself before expecting your child to be peaceful. Children need to be taught how to behave, including being peaceful. Lead by example and demonstrate the kind of peacefulness you would like to see in your child and in your relationship with him.\\n2-6. Keep a journal\\nJournaling is a great practice to help you be peaceful. Creating a journal will help focus your peaceful intentions in the areas of your life that need more attention. It will also help you organize your thoughts and plans. Journaling allows you a safe space to vent your frustration and stress so that you can be peaceful with others.\\nTry prompts like the following: \\\"Today being peaceful was difficult because...\\\" \\\"Today being peaceful was rewarding because...\\\" or \\\"I am going to try to be more peaceful by...\\\"\\nYou might also keep a gratitude journal, where each day you write down something that you're grateful for. This can help you develop a more positive mindset.\\n3. Creating a Peaceful Environment\\n3-1. Declutter\\nMinimize toys and physical clutter in your environment. Being peaceful includes having a peaceful environment as well as a peaceful mindset. Help make your environment peaceful by ridding your home of clutter. Toss or donate things you do not use or toys your children no longer play with. Make sure the items that you own all have a dedicated place. Having less clutter in your home will increase your sense of peace.\\n3-2. Keep your work life and home life separate.\\nBeing peaceful at home, in relationships, and within yourself are all important aspects of a peaceful life. Keeping peaceful in all aspects may include a peaceful work environment as well keeping your work and home life separate. Try the following.\\nHaving less clutter in your work space will provide the same result as less clutter in your home. Be more peaceful at work by making sure your work space is clean and clear.\\nTry and leave any work stress you experience during the day at work. One way to accomplish this is to make sure you start and stop work on time. Having firm boundaries will help prevent your work life from causing stress in your personal life.\\nMaintain professionalism at work and limit the personal information you divulge at work.\\n3-3. Use soothing tones or textures in your decorating.\\nBeing peaceful in your home environment, may not be as difficult as you think. Some small changes to your paint colors or decorating can produce big calming and peaceful effects. In order to increase the peaceful feel of your home try the following. \\nUse soothing tones like shades of light blue or beige in paint, furniture or decor.\\nHave a small vase or plant in every room to help create a calming feel and a connection to nature.\\nSpend the extra money on high-end sheets so that you can end your day with soothing peaceful sleep.\\n3-4. Fill your home with soothing scents and sounds.\\nBeing peaceful can be a full-sensory experience for you. Changing the scents or sounds within your home can help increase the relaxation and calm for you and your family. \\nSoothing sounds can include nature sounds as well as certain types of music like classical music.\\nSoothing scents can include lavender, rosemary, jasmine, Ylang Ylang, sweet orange, and bergamot.\\nTips\\nBeing in peace not only releases your stress but also keeps your mind fresh.\\nYou may also want to start celebrating International Day of Peace.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"People inherently strive towards a state of peacefulness, one free of stress and anxiety. Being peaceful is both an outward and an inward state of being and acting. If you are trying to be more peaceful, you can begin by finding peace within yourself. Further your peaceful nature by bringing it into your interactions with others and making your environment peaceful.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Internal Peace\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice what brings you peace.\", \"描述\": \"Finding internal peace begins with identifying what makes you feel calm. Consider activities you enjoy that leave you with a sense of peace and calm. Make time in your schedule to practice calming and centering activities on a regular basis. Some peaceful activities may include:\\nReading a book.\\nEnjoying quiet time or silence.\\nEngaging in creative arts.\\nListening to calming sounds such as ocean waves, weather sounds, or sounds of animals.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meditate\", \"描述\": \"A very successful way to calm your mind and find internal peace is to practice meditation. Meditation will help you train your mind to be peaceful and more clear. When you meditate, make sure you are in a quiet place free of distractions, such as in a room by yourself. Sit in a position that is comfortable for you; either in a chair or on the floor. Try and keep your back straight for better breathing.\\nClose your eyes and turn your attention to your breathing. Notice the sensation of the breath as it comes in and goes out. Don't try to control or change your breath, just focus on it.\\nThoughts may surface with a strong temptation to follow the train of thought as it comes up. If you notice your mind wandering, gently refocus on your breath. The more you practice this the easier it will be and the fewer distractions will occur.\\nTry setting an intention. You can meditate on any intention that resonates most with you, such as gratitude, the beauty of nature, the love of your family, and so on. Anything that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside when you think about it would make a good intention. Having something to focus on can be helpful for beginners.\\nTry additional guided meditations, guided imagery, loving kindness meditations, or even attending meditation classes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Manage the stress in your life.\", \"描述\": \"Stress and anxiety will interfere with your sense of calm and peace. Counteract it by addressing anything that is causing you stress in your life. If financial management or money issues are causing you stress, make a plan to deal with them right away. Take control of your stress management in order to be more peaceful in your everyday life. Choose a stress management technique and plan that work for you and makes the most sense in your life. Try the following coping skills.\\nFor 10 to 15 minutes a day, write about things that are bothering you and how you are feeling about them.\\nFind a way to let your feelings out such as talking, laughing, or crying.\\nSpend some time around animals such as extra time around your pets, or going to a petting zoo.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do physical activity.\", \"描述\": \"Certain types of exercises or sports have been shown to provide a sense of peace in the person who practices it. Try engaging in a physical activity that allows you to release your stress, and find relaxation afterwards. Regular physical activity helps promote balance in your life and peacefulness of your mind and mood.\\nExercises like running have proven to be almost meditative in the sense of peace they provide.\\nPhysical activities like tennis, batting cages, or golfing at a driving range, will allow you to work out extra energy, stress, or aggression.\\nMore meditative exercises like pilates and yoga will help you focus your mind and have a more peaceful relationship between your mind and body.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice self reflection.\", \"描述\": \"In a society where it is easy to be labeled and judged, it is hard not to judge yourself based on what others think. Living this way will only cause you stress and and a decreased sense of peace and happiness. Instead, practice self-reflection. Determine what you think and how you feel about yourself. Use your self-reflection to provide yourself with the sense of peace that comes from being the person you want to be.\\nPay special attention to the internal judgments that you are inflicting on yourself. Work towards replacing the criticism with more peaceful thoughts.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Allow and accept change.\", \"描述\": \"Change is often difficult to accept and can be very stressful. It is common to become comfortable and be resistant to change. The difficulty here is that change is constantly occurring, and that by being resistant to it, you will just be causing yourself unnecessary stress. To be more peaceful begin to accept and allow changes to occur without resisting them in the following ways:\\nAccept change by realizing you and your life are always growing and changing. Accept change as a learning process to a better life.\\nLet go of fear. A great deal of the time we are resistant to change due to a fear of the unknown. Letting go of that fear allows you to accept change.\\nRecognize that resistance causes more turbulence in our lives and uses more energy than acceptance.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Discontinue bad habits\", \"描述\": \"If there is something you identify as a “bad habit” it is going to cause you stress and interfere with your peace. Breaking a bad habit can be extremely difficult, but can also lead you to the path of improvement of a peaceful and balanced person.\\nDo not discontinue multiple bad habits at once. This sets you up for failure for trying too much at once. Try working on one bad habit at a time.\\nPut it in writing. Write down what bad habit you are quitting and when you are quitting it by. This holds you accountable and helps solidify your commitment.\\nSwitch out your bad habit for another activity. For example, if you are a smoker, try chewing gum instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Peaceful Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept people for who they are.\", \"描述\": \"Wishing others would change or attempting to change others will cause you stress. It can easily make it difficult to remain peaceful in a relationship. Instead of attempting to change or control others, accept and love them (including their faults) for a more peaceful relationship.\\nTry writing a list of what you appreciate or are grateful for with the individuals in your life.\\nRemind yourself that everyone has flaws. No one is perfect.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth\", \"描述\": \"Holding in your thoughts and feelings in a relationship will not help you be peaceful. Part of being peaceful is being at peace with yourself. Honesty is a vital component to being at peace with yourself. So, be honest, but kind, when communicating what you really think and feel.\\nHaving an open and honest dialogue in your relationships with others helps the relationship be more peaceful as well. It sets up a tone which communicates that if there are problems, they can be discussed and brought out into the open. You can state, “I want to you to be comfortable talking to me about anything.”\\nMake sure you are communicating any frustrations or negative feelings in order to address them as quickly as possible. Try saying, “Our relationship is important to me. I don't want to bottle anything up and risk having it affect our relationship.”\\nHave conversations just to check-in with loved ones. It will illustrate that you are interested in your loved ones well-being, and will make them more comfortable talking with you. You can begin with a simple, “How are you really doing?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak in a calm and relaxing voice.\", \"描述\": \"What you say to convey peacefulness is important, but equally important is how you say it. The way you communicate with others is complex and conveys a great deal about your emotions and state of mind. Being peaceful in relationships with others includes speaking in a peaceful way. \\nSpeak slowly and thoughtfully.\\nNotice the volume of your voice. If you are loud, try quieting your voice.\\nTry to use a softer tone when you speak instead of a more stressful or sharp tone.\\nPay attention to the words that you use. Consider what they are conveying about your outlook.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let go of difficult or negative people.\", \"描述\": \"As you are trying to accept others for who they are, you may come across some who make that difficult. People who are consistently negative can only interrupt your sense of peace. It may be best to let them go or remove them from your life. If you feel like you cannot let go of people completely, limit the contact you have with them.\\nWhile you want to be accepting of people and their imperfections, this doesn't mean you have to accept everything another person does. You are allowed to set boundaries as to what you will and will not accept in your life. For instance, you can't stop a boyfriend from doing drugs, but you can set a boundary that if he does them around you, you are leaving the relationship.\\nSeparate yourself from violent or aggressive people. A peaceful person does not engage in violence against herself or others.\\nLet go of anyone you feel disturbs your peacefulness.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Parent peacefully.\", \"描述\": \"Parenting peacefully can be difficult. It is hard not to get caught up in the stress now and then. Start small, by changing one thing you do into something more peaceful. Once you feel you have accomplished that, begin a new one. Also try to notice the part you play and how you can help create the change you are looking for.\\nTry to remove or avoid critical or blaming statements.\\nInstead of focusing on what your child may have done wrong, focus on what he did well or praise him for trying. Instead of saying \\\"Look at the mess you made! You never pick up your toys!\\\" try, \\\"Wow, you are playful and have lots of energy today! What is your favorite toy right now? Let's do something fun with that toy, and put the rest away to play with later.\\\"\\nBe the peace you wish to see in your child. Become peaceful yourself before expecting your child to be peaceful. Children need to be taught how to behave, including being peaceful. Lead by example and demonstrate the kind of peacefulness you would like to see in your child and in your relationship with him.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal\", \"描述\": \"Journaling is a great practice to help you be peaceful. Creating a journal will help focus your peaceful intentions in the areas of your life that need more attention. It will also help you organize your thoughts and plans. Journaling allows you a safe space to vent your frustration and stress so that you can be peaceful with others.\\nTry prompts like the following: \\\"Today being peaceful was difficult because...\\\" \\\"Today being peaceful was rewarding because...\\\" or \\\"I am going to try to be more peaceful by...\\\"\\nYou might also keep a gratitude journal, where each day you write down something that you're grateful for. This can help you develop a more positive mindset.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Creating a Peaceful Environment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Declutter\", \"描述\": \"Minimize toys and physical clutter in your environment. Being peaceful includes having a peaceful environment as well as a peaceful mindset. Help make your environment peaceful by ridding your home of clutter. Toss or donate things you do not use or toys your children no longer play with. Make sure the items that you own all have a dedicated place. Having less clutter in your home will increase your sense of peace.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your work life and home life separate.\", \"描述\": \"Being peaceful at home, in relationships, and within yourself are all important aspects of a peaceful life. Keeping peaceful in all aspects may include a peaceful work environment as well keeping your work and home life separate. Try the following.\\nHaving less clutter in your work space will provide the same result as less clutter in your home. Be more peaceful at work by making sure your work space is clean and clear.\\nTry and leave any work stress you experience during the day at work. One way to accomplish this is to make sure you start and stop work on time. Having firm boundaries will help prevent your work life from causing stress in your personal life.\\nMaintain professionalism at work and limit the personal information you divulge at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use soothing tones or textures in your decorating.\", \"描述\": \"Being peaceful in your home environment, may not be as difficult as you think. Some small changes to your paint colors or decorating can produce big calming and peaceful effects. In order to increase the peaceful feel of your home try the following. \\nUse soothing tones like shades of light blue or beige in paint, furniture or decor.\\nHave a small vase or plant in every room to help create a calming feel and a connection to nature.\\nSpend the extra money on high-end sheets so that you can end your day with soothing peaceful sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill your home with soothing scents and sounds.\", \"描述\": \"Being peaceful can be a full-sensory experience for you. Changing the scents or sounds within your home can help increase the relaxation and calm for you and your family. \\nSoothing sounds can include nature sounds as well as certain types of music like classical music.\\nSoothing scents can include lavender, rosemary, jasmine, Ylang Ylang, sweet orange, and bergamot.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being in peace not only releases your stress but also keeps your mind fresh.\\n\", \"You may also want to start celebrating International Day of Peace.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,026 | How to Be Perfectly Innocent | 1. Acting Innocent
1-1. Be careful how you talk.
Never use inappropriate language (swear words, rude words). Avoid rude topics, like discussing bodily functions. You should also replace words in your vocabulary with their innocent alternatives (God with gosh, Hell with h-e-double-hockey-sticks, damn with darn, etc). Avoid shouting or raising your voice too.
1-2. Avoid adult practices.
Instead, you should cherish your youth.
Never smoke, drink, or hang out at night. The first two are dangerous to your health anyway.
Don't watch TV shows with adult themes, like violence, drugs, or sex. To help you, resist the temptation to have a TV in your bedroom, and instead, ask your parents to guide you with your viewing.
There is a whole lot of stuff online which is totally inappropriate for you. Ask your parents to install parental control software on your phone and PC - this will let them block things you shouldn't see. Don't feel that you're missing out or its somehow babyish asking for this - it's a great way of protecting your innocence.
1-3. Don't fight with people.
Innocent people don't like to fight with others, so never get into a fight if you can help it. If you do have a problem with someone, get help from an adult or a superior, like a parent, teacher, or boss. Certainly avoid using serious insults with someone. Using childish, harmless insults can make you look more innocent, however (think stinky-pants, butt-face, etc).
1-4. Be kind and sweet.
Innocent people are usually very kind and sweet, so do your best to act that way. Ask people about their day and things that you know are important to them. Compliment people frequently and honestly. Help out with anything you can. And importantly: always be polite!
1-5. Throw all of your efforts into school, work, or charitable causes.
A good work ethic is also associated with innocent people, so make school, work, or charities your priority. Try to aim for being the best, getting straight A's or making your boss really happy. Help out at your local church or religious institution, or choose another charity to help out, like Girl Scouts or Amnesty International.
1-6. Be very subtle when you flirt.
If you are old enough to be interested in relationships with another person, try to be chaste in how you interact with them. When you flirt, be subtle and shy. Compliment them politely. Never try to be sexy. Let them do the romancing. Just realize that this makes getting their attention a lot harder!
1-7. React innocently.
When people say something bad or do something bad, react with surprise. Innocent people don't realize that people do bad things, so you should be more surprised than angry. You can even seem a little upset. Averting your eyes or covering your ears can also add some innocence to your attitude.
Having a strong opinion on complex issues, however, is not very innocent! Avoid lecturing!
2. Getting an Innocent Mindset
2-1. Spend time with kids.
Little kids are truly innocent. Spend time with them and interact with them to see how they act. Try to be more like them. You can babysit or volunteer for your church's daycare. If you have young family members, you can try to spend more time with them too. If you're good academically, you can volunteer as a tutor at a local elementary school.
2-2. Control your thoughts.
Try not to think about adult subjects. If you start to think about someone physically, refocus onto something else. If you start to think mean or violent thoughts, refocus onto something else.
There are lots of ways to refocus, but you can try saying prayers or reciting verse inside your head. You can also start singing your favorite Disney song inside your head. If you need to, simply leave the area you are in or the activity you are doing to help your brain refocus.
2-3. Enjoy children's activities.
Enjoy the things that innocent people enjoy. Children's media and activities are a great place to start. You can watch kid's TV shows like My Little Pony, movies like VeggieTales or Disney films, or activities like board games or crafts.
2-4. Make sure you get enough sleep.
Innocent girls don't stay up late, especially on school/college nights. It can be hard to resist though, without a set bedtime rule. Discuss with your parents and let them fix a bedtime for you; between 9:00pm and 10:00pm on school nights, is good. Having an early bedtime isn't just good for you, it will make you feel super innocent and cute.
2-5. Have innocent friends.
You tend to pick up the behaviors of the people around you, so surround yourself with good people. Ditch rude, inappropriate friends and keep friends who are also innocent or are at least good and polite. Don's worry if you find that you are happier with younger friends - it's perfectly OK.
2-6. Be optimistic and positive.
These seem as the most common personality traits of innocent people, so try to stay optimistic and positive. Don't whine or complain when things don't go your way, and when you see other people having a tough time, try to help them see the bright side. Let Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" be your theme song!
3. Looking Innocent
3-1. Dress young.
Dress in a way that is appropriate for someone of an "innocent" age. Wear clothing that is conservative and looks nice. Knees and shoulders should be covered and necklines should not be too low. You can also choose younger hairstyles, like two braids for girls, or slicked-back hair for boys.
3-2. Dress formal.
Try to get that "Sunday best" look, or a look that is appropriate for church or visiting with your grandparents. Boys can wear pressed pants and a polo, while girls can wear knee-length dresses or skirts and a blouse. Mary Janes (the shoe) for girls or any formal shoe for boys can also drive home the innocent look.
3-3. Choose the right colors.
You want to avoid the "in fashion" colors, jewel tones, and "sexy" colors like red and black. Instead, choose colors that are common in children's clothes, like pastels and some bright colors like yellow, pink, and blue. Very clean, white clothing can also look very innocent.
3-4. Avoid makeup.
Makeup can quickly make you look very adult or sexy, so women should avoid it. If you do need to wear makeup, go for the "natural" look, with just a little pink lipstick, basic foundation, and minimal eye makeup (maybe light mascara and little more).
3-5. Avoid cologne or perfume.
Strong scents create a very adult appearance, so avoid cologne and perfume. If you do need to have some kind of scent, try to mimic the smell of laundry or baby (talc) powder. Girls may be able to get away with a light, floral smell.
3-6. Keep hair trim and tidy.
To help get that fresh-from-church look, make sure your hair is very carefully kept. Get regular haircuts and keep your hair in a tidy hairstyle, such as braids or slicked back. Avoid popular hairstyles.
3-7. Use your eyes.
You can get an innocent look by being careful about how you use your eyes. As they say, eyes are the window into the soul. Look away when you see or hear something inappropriate. Look up at people through your eyelashes. You should also look away when people you don't know make eye contact with you, or when someone you like looks at you.
Tips
If you are religious, then use this guide to become closer to your religion and follow its rules. If you are not, then simply be tolerant.
Remember, being innocent doesn't mean being a doormat. Stand up for yourself and others!
Always smile when you see a beautiful or childish place. Laugh always when somebody else laughs.
Warnings
If you are innocent, people will try to take advantage of you in any way possible. Guard against this.[5]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Innocent\\n1-1. Be careful how you talk.\\nNever use inappropriate language (swear words, rude words). Avoid rude topics, like discussing bodily functions. You should also replace words in your vocabulary with their innocent alternatives (God with gosh, Hell with h-e-double-hockey-sticks, damn with darn, etc). Avoid shouting or raising your voice too.\\n1-2. Avoid adult practices.\\nInstead, you should cherish your youth.\\nNever smoke, drink, or hang out at night. The first two are dangerous to your health anyway.\\nDon't watch TV shows with adult themes, like violence, drugs, or sex. To help you, resist the temptation to have a TV in your bedroom, and instead, ask your parents to guide you with your viewing.\\nThere is a whole lot of stuff online which is totally inappropriate for you. Ask your parents to install parental control software on your phone and PC - this will let them block things you shouldn't see. Don't feel that you're missing out or its somehow babyish asking for this - it's a great way of protecting your innocence.\\n1-3. Don't fight with people.\\nInnocent people don't like to fight with others, so never get into a fight if you can help it. If you do have a problem with someone, get help from an adult or a superior, like a parent, teacher, or boss. Certainly avoid using serious insults with someone. Using childish, harmless insults can make you look more innocent, however (think stinky-pants, butt-face, etc).\\n1-4. Be kind and sweet.\\nInnocent people are usually very kind and sweet, so do your best to act that way. Ask people about their day and things that you know are important to them. Compliment people frequently and honestly. Help out with anything you can. And importantly: always be polite!\\n1-5. Throw all of your efforts into school, work, or charitable causes.\\nA good work ethic is also associated with innocent people, so make school, work, or charities your priority. Try to aim for being the best, getting straight A's or making your boss really happy. Help out at your local church or religious institution, or choose another charity to help out, like Girl Scouts or Amnesty International.\\n1-6. Be very subtle when you flirt.\\nIf you are old enough to be interested in relationships with another person, try to be chaste in how you interact with them. When you flirt, be subtle and shy. Compliment them politely. Never try to be sexy. Let them do the romancing. Just realize that this makes getting their attention a lot harder!\\n1-7. React innocently.\\nWhen people say something bad or do something bad, react with surprise. Innocent people don't realize that people do bad things, so you should be more surprised than angry. You can even seem a little upset. Averting your eyes or covering your ears can also add some innocence to your attitude.\\nHaving a strong opinion on complex issues, however, is not very innocent! Avoid lecturing!\\n2. Getting an Innocent Mindset\\n2-1. Spend time with kids.\\nLittle kids are truly innocent. Spend time with them and interact with them to see how they act. Try to be more like them. You can babysit or volunteer for your church's daycare. If you have young family members, you can try to spend more time with them too. If you're good academically, you can volunteer as a tutor at a local elementary school.\\n2-2. Control your thoughts.\\nTry not to think about adult subjects. If you start to think about someone physically, refocus onto something else. If you start to think mean or violent thoughts, refocus onto something else.\\nThere are lots of ways to refocus, but you can try saying prayers or reciting verse inside your head. You can also start singing your favorite Disney song inside your head. If you need to, simply leave the area you are in or the activity you are doing to help your brain refocus.\\n2-3. Enjoy children's activities.\\nEnjoy the things that innocent people enjoy. Children's media and activities are a great place to start. You can watch kid's TV shows like My Little Pony, movies like VeggieTales or Disney films, or activities like board games or crafts.\\n2-4. Make sure you get enough sleep.\\nInnocent girls don't stay up late, especially on school/college nights. It can be hard to resist though, without a set bedtime rule. Discuss with your parents and let them fix a bedtime for you; between 9:00pm and 10:00pm on school nights, is good. Having an early bedtime isn't just good for you, it will make you feel super innocent and cute.\\n2-5. Have innocent friends.\\nYou tend to pick up the behaviors of the people around you, so surround yourself with good people. Ditch rude, inappropriate friends and keep friends who are also innocent or are at least good and polite. Don's worry if you find that you are happier with younger friends - it's perfectly OK.\\n2-6. Be optimistic and positive.\\nThese seem as the most common personality traits of innocent people, so try to stay optimistic and positive. Don't whine or complain when things don't go your way, and when you see other people having a tough time, try to help them see the bright side. Let Charlie Chaplin's \\\"Smile\\\" be your theme song!\\n3. Looking Innocent\\n3-1. Dress young.\\nDress in a way that is appropriate for someone of an \\\"innocent\\\" age. Wear clothing that is conservative and looks nice. Knees and shoulders should be covered and necklines should not be too low. You can also choose younger hairstyles, like two braids for girls, or slicked-back hair for boys.\\n3-2. Dress formal.\\nTry to get that \\\"Sunday best\\\" look, or a look that is appropriate for church or visiting with your grandparents. Boys can wear pressed pants and a polo, while girls can wear knee-length dresses or skirts and a blouse. Mary Janes (the shoe) for girls or any formal shoe for boys can also drive home the innocent look.\\n3-3. Choose the right colors.\\nYou want to avoid the \\\"in fashion\\\" colors, jewel tones, and \\\"sexy\\\" colors like red and black. Instead, choose colors that are common in children's clothes, like pastels and some bright colors like yellow, pink, and blue. Very clean, white clothing can also look very innocent.\\n3-4. Avoid makeup.\\nMakeup can quickly make you look very adult or sexy, so women should avoid it. If you do need to wear makeup, go for the \\\"natural\\\" look, with just a little pink lipstick, basic foundation, and minimal eye makeup (maybe light mascara and little more).\\n3-5. Avoid cologne or perfume.\\nStrong scents create a very adult appearance, so avoid cologne and perfume. If you do need to have some kind of scent, try to mimic the smell of laundry or baby (talc) powder. Girls may be able to get away with a light, floral smell.\\n3-6. Keep hair trim and tidy.\\nTo help get that fresh-from-church look, make sure your hair is very carefully kept. Get regular haircuts and keep your hair in a tidy hairstyle, such as braids or slicked back. Avoid popular hairstyles.\\n3-7. Use your eyes.\\nYou can get an innocent look by being careful about how you use your eyes. As they say, eyes are the window into the soul. Look away when you see or hear something inappropriate. Look up at people through your eyelashes. You should also look away when people you don't know make eye contact with you, or when someone you like looks at you.\\nTips\\nIf you are religious, then use this guide to become closer to your religion and follow its rules. If you are not, then simply be tolerant.\\nRemember, being innocent doesn't mean being a doormat. Stand up for yourself and others!\\nAlways smile when you see a beautiful or childish place. Laugh always when somebody else laughs.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are innocent, people will try to take advantage of you in any way possible. Guard against this.[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you're trying to change your image, attract that special someone, or impress your parents and teachers, this article will show you how to look and act perfectly innocent. You can even learn how to change your mindset entirely and become a girl that everyone will respect and admire! Just get started with Step 1 below.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Innocent\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be careful how you talk.\", \"描述\": \"Never use inappropriate language (swear words, rude words). Avoid rude topics, like discussing bodily functions. You should also replace words in your vocabulary with their innocent alternatives (God with gosh, Hell with h-e-double-hockey-sticks, damn with darn, etc). Avoid shouting or raising your voice too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid adult practices.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, you should cherish your youth.\\nNever smoke, drink, or hang out at night. The first two are dangerous to your health anyway.\\nDon't watch TV shows with adult themes, like violence, drugs, or sex. To help you, resist the temptation to have a TV in your bedroom, and instead, ask your parents to guide you with your viewing.\\nThere is a whole lot of stuff online which is totally inappropriate for you. Ask your parents to install parental control software on your phone and PC - this will let them block things you shouldn't see. Don't feel that you're missing out or its somehow babyish asking for this - it's a great way of protecting your innocence.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't fight with people.\", \"描述\": \"Innocent people don't like to fight with others, so never get into a fight if you can help it. If you do have a problem with someone, get help from an adult or a superior, like a parent, teacher, or boss. Certainly avoid using serious insults with someone. Using childish, harmless insults can make you look more innocent, however (think stinky-pants, butt-face, etc).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind and sweet.\", \"描述\": \"Innocent people are usually very kind and sweet, so do your best to act that way. Ask people about their day and things that you know are important to them. Compliment people frequently and honestly. Help out with anything you can. And importantly: always be polite!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Throw all of your efforts into school, work, or charitable causes.\", \"描述\": \"A good work ethic is also associated with innocent people, so make school, work, or charities your priority. Try to aim for being the best, getting straight A's or making your boss really happy. Help out at your local church or religious institution, or choose another charity to help out, like Girl Scouts or Amnesty International.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be very subtle when you flirt.\", \"描述\": \"If you are old enough to be interested in relationships with another person, try to be chaste in how you interact with them. When you flirt, be subtle and shy. Compliment them politely. Never try to be sexy. Let them do the romancing. Just realize that this makes getting their attention a lot harder!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"React innocently.\", \"描述\": \"When people say something bad or do something bad, react with surprise. Innocent people don't realize that people do bad things, so you should be more surprised than angry. You can even seem a little upset. Averting your eyes or covering your ears can also add some innocence to your attitude.\\nHaving a strong opinion on complex issues, however, is not very innocent! Avoid lecturing!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting an Innocent Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time with kids.\", \"描述\": \"Little kids are truly innocent. Spend time with them and interact with them to see how they act. Try to be more like them. You can babysit or volunteer for your church's daycare. If you have young family members, you can try to spend more time with them too. If you're good academically, you can volunteer as a tutor at a local elementary school.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Control your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to think about adult subjects. If you start to think about someone physically, refocus onto something else. If you start to think mean or violent thoughts, refocus onto something else.\\nThere are lots of ways to refocus, but you can try saying prayers or reciting verse inside your head. You can also start singing your favorite Disney song inside your head. If you need to, simply leave the area you are in or the activity you are doing to help your brain refocus.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoy children's activities.\", \"描述\": \"Enjoy the things that innocent people enjoy. Children's media and activities are a great place to start. You can watch kid's TV shows like My Little Pony, movies like VeggieTales or Disney films, or activities like board games or crafts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure you get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Innocent girls don't stay up late, especially on school/college nights. It can be hard to resist though, without a set bedtime rule. Discuss with your parents and let them fix a bedtime for you; between 9:00pm and 10:00pm on school nights, is good. Having an early bedtime isn't just good for you, it will make you feel super innocent and cute.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have innocent friends.\", \"描述\": \"You tend to pick up the behaviors of the people around you, so surround yourself with good people. Ditch rude, inappropriate friends and keep friends who are also innocent or are at least good and polite. Don's worry if you find that you are happier with younger friends - it's perfectly OK.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be optimistic and positive.\", \"描述\": \"These seem as the most common personality traits of innocent people, so try to stay optimistic and positive. Don't whine or complain when things don't go your way, and when you see other people having a tough time, try to help them see the bright side. Let Charlie Chaplin's \\\"Smile\\\" be your theme song!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking Innocent\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress young.\", \"描述\": \"Dress in a way that is appropriate for someone of an \\\"innocent\\\" age. Wear clothing that is conservative and looks nice. Knees and shoulders should be covered and necklines should not be too low. You can also choose younger hairstyles, like two braids for girls, or slicked-back hair for boys.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress formal.\", \"描述\": \"Try to get that \\\"Sunday best\\\" look, or a look that is appropriate for church or visiting with your grandparents. Boys can wear pressed pants and a polo, while girls can wear knee-length dresses or skirts and a blouse. Mary Janes (the shoe) for girls or any formal shoe for boys can also drive home the innocent look.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose the right colors.\", \"描述\": \"You want to avoid the \\\"in fashion\\\" colors, jewel tones, and \\\"sexy\\\" colors like red and black. Instead, choose colors that are common in children's clothes, like pastels and some bright colors like yellow, pink, and blue. Very clean, white clothing can also look very innocent.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Makeup can quickly make you look very adult or sexy, so women should avoid it. If you do need to wear makeup, go for the \\\"natural\\\" look, with just a little pink lipstick, basic foundation, and minimal eye makeup (maybe light mascara and little more).\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid cologne or perfume.\", \"描述\": \"Strong scents create a very adult appearance, so avoid cologne and perfume. If you do need to have some kind of scent, try to mimic the smell of laundry or baby (talc) powder. Girls may be able to get away with a light, floral smell.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep hair trim and tidy.\", \"描述\": \"To help get that fresh-from-church look, make sure your hair is very carefully kept. Get regular haircuts and keep your hair in a tidy hairstyle, such as braids or slicked back. Avoid popular hairstyles.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your eyes.\", \"描述\": \"You can get an innocent look by being careful about how you use your eyes. As they say, eyes are the window into the soul. Look away when you see or hear something inappropriate. Look up at people through your eyelashes. You should also look away when people you don't know make eye contact with you, or when someone you like looks at you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are religious, then use this guide to become closer to your religion and follow its rules. If you are not, then simply be tolerant.\\n\", \"Remember, being innocent doesn't mean being a doormat. Stand up for yourself and others!\\n\", \"Always smile when you see a beautiful or childish place. Laugh always when somebody else laughs.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are innocent, people will try to take advantage of you in any way possible. Guard against this.[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,027 | How to Be Persistent | 1. Pursuing Your Goals with Persistence
1-1. Set a goal
Spend some time thinking about exactly what results you wish to achieve and be as specific as you can. Establish a time frame for achieving each part of your final goal. Set your sights on a goal that is reasonable to accomplish.
As you set your goal, ask yourself not only what you want to accomplish, but why you want to accomplish it. Figuring out what drives your goal will help give you purpose in the beginning, and motivation as you move toward your target.
If you want to lose weight, for example, your reasons may include wanting to feel more comfortable in your own skin, be more physically capable, and feel better about your appearance.
It helps to write down your goal on a prominent place, such as your wall calendar.
1-2. Break the goal down into smaller pieces.
Divide the goal by a set of specific tasks that will take a certain amount of time to complete. A 1-hour goal could be broken up into 15-minute segments. Or, divide the task in segments, such as a particular number of files to sort each day.
Establishing many small goals within a single larger one will keep you motivated and on track.
1-3. Devote a set amount of time each day to your goal.
You might even start by setting aside 5 minutes each day to work on your goal. Then, raise this up to 10 minutes each day by the second week and so on. If you have a swamped schedule, this will make working on your goal simply part of your routine and you are more likely to do it.
1-4. Place a goal reminder in a prominent place.
If you are trying to save money to buy a house, stick a photo of your dream home to your fridge. If you are trying to pay off your credit card, attach a copy of the bill to your bathroom mirror. If you’d like an award at work, place a copy of last year’s award announcement on your desk.
1-5. Connect your goal to an already established habit.
If you already brush your teeth before bed each night, simply add your goal of washing your face right afterwards. You can also water your plants at the same time that you go outside to take out the garbage or grab the mail. Or, drink more water at work by stopping at the cooler each time you leave your desk.
1-6. Keep your goals fun and exciting.
Not every goal that you need to achieve, such as paying off a credit card, is going to be riveting. However, you can make it more interesting by turning it into a game with prizes or rewards at certain intervals. You can even make bets about how much you can achieve by when.
For example, turn on some music or listen to an audio book if you are working on a repetitive task.
1-7. Stay true to your values while pursuing your goals.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and confuse persistence with permission to behave in a negative way. Instead, stay true to the idea of positive persistence. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Obey the rules while pursuing success.
You’ll find that keeping a positive, pleasant attitude will also make others more willing to help you achieve your goals.
2. Persisting through Hardship and Failure
2-1. Listen to but don't internalize your critics.
Recognize that you will always have people around who will not support you or your goals. The key is to not let their words dominate you. Use them as motivation to prove your critics wrong, or tune them out if they feel too toxic.
For example, if a relative doesn’t support your professional ambitions, then you may need to stick to non-work topics when talking with them.
This doesn’t hold totally true if someone is genuinely trying to offer you constructive advice or criticism. Other people sometimes see things you can't, and you can use their words for guidance. Use your best judgment to determine whether or not their words will be helpful or harmful to you.
2-2. Build up a support network.
Locate a support group in your area that focuses on the type of hardship that you are experiencing. Talk with trusted family members or friends about what you are experiencing and seek out their advice. Meet with a counselor to have a sounding board or someone who will just listen.
For example, you might join a social group for small business owners. You can feel comfortable discussing any hardships, such as rent raises, that you are coping with.
2-3. Accept that failure happens.
The most successful people in life have all failed. The difference between them and people who live in fear of failure is that successful people face the failure, learn from it, and use it to spur their next attempt. They persist because they know that failure is simply part of achievement.
2-4. Examine the underlying causes of your failure.
If you are continually hitting roadblocks or problems when trying to reach a goal, take some time to think about why that might be. Weigh your actions and talents with a critical eye to see if they are truly good enough for what you are pursuing or if you might need to work a bit more or get some help.
For example, if you keep stalling out at the interview stage for jobs, then you might need to polish your interview techniques.
Think about whether you're self-sabotaging. Underlying beliefs or negative feelings can keep you from reaching your full potential. If you find yourself getting stuck and can't seem to move past it, check in with yourself to see if you're attitude is the root cause.
2-5. Visualize your final achievement to stay motivated.
When the going gets tough and you feel like just dropping everything, restore your sense of purpose by remembering your vision. Picture you completing your goal and how that will feel. Imagine the congratulations and reactions of those around you.
2-6. Be wary of escapism.
If you feel defeated or downtrodden, you might turn toward the television or even food to escape reality for a few moments. Short, controlled moments of self-care or leisure can be a great way for you to reboot and regroup. However, if you find yourself spending all of your free time “escaping” then you are likely losing sight of your larger goals.
Abusing alcohol and other substances is a particularly dangerous type of escapism. Look for more healthy ways to shift gears, such as working out.
Don't beat yourself up for taking time to let your brain rest and recharge. Hanging out with friends, going for a walk, reading a good book, watching your favorite show, or even taking a nap can all be forms of self-care. Just don't focus on them so much that you stop chasing your goal.
2-7. Reroute your energies if you determine that a goal is unattainable.
This is not giving in or giving up, instead you are being persistent in utilizing your time and skills effectively. Look for a goal that is parallel to your original one or change directions entirely if that is what you need to do.
For example, you might decide that pursuing a teaching degree is not for you, but you will need to find some sort of gainful employment goal.
3. Persisting with Requests or Refusals
3-1. Maintain a consistent tone of voice.
If you are making a request, then you’ll like need to adopt a conciliatory and friendly approach. Growing frustrated at the person’s refusals or hedges will only make success less likely. Similarly, if you are the person doing the refusing, keep a confident and clear tone of voice when making your refusal known.
For example, if you are repeatedly invited to an event that you don’t wish to attend, keep saying “no” in the same confident way until the person gets the message.
3-2. Adopt the "broken record" technique.
This is a common technique used in assertiveness training. You simply repeat the same continuous, clear statement about your feeling, intention, or decision. You stay calm and avoid becoming angry, defensive, or irritated mid-conversation.
For example, you might state, “I’m not comfortable with that.” You don't need to give any excuses or justifications for your refusal. Just keep saying your statement.
This approach also requires that you avoid any attempts to sidetrack you and stay on your original message.
3-3. See a workable compromise as a positive solution.
When you ask for something or issue a refusal, it’s unlikely that the conversation will end there. Instead, you may need to work with someone else to find a solution that helps you both. When you reach a compromise, don’t view it as a failure. Instead, it’s another way to reach your original goal.
For example, you might ask a co-worker to send you a particular email, but they may not have it. However, they might give you the name of someone who could forward it to you.
Tips
Don’t be afraid to ask other people for help. They might assist you with reaching a goal or offer sound advice.[14]
X
Research source
Warnings
Persistence is not a goal in and of itself. If you view it this way you risk becoming a stubborn person who refuses to see the larger picture or beyond yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Pursuing Your Goals with Persistence\\n1-1. Set a goal\\nSpend some time thinking about exactly what results you wish to achieve and be as specific as you can. Establish a time frame for achieving each part of your final goal. Set your sights on a goal that is reasonable to accomplish.\\nAs you set your goal, ask yourself not only what you want to accomplish, but why you want to accomplish it. Figuring out what drives your goal will help give you purpose in the beginning, and motivation as you move toward your target.\\nIf you want to lose weight, for example, your reasons may include wanting to feel more comfortable in your own skin, be more physically capable, and feel better about your appearance.\\nIt helps to write down your goal on a prominent place, such as your wall calendar.\\n1-2. Break the goal down into smaller pieces.\\nDivide the goal by a set of specific tasks that will take a certain amount of time to complete. A 1-hour goal could be broken up into 15-minute segments. Or, divide the task in segments, such as a particular number of files to sort each day.\\nEstablishing many small goals within a single larger one will keep you motivated and on track.\\n1-3. Devote a set amount of time each day to your goal.\\nYou might even start by setting aside 5 minutes each day to work on your goal. Then, raise this up to 10 minutes each day by the second week and so on. If you have a swamped schedule, this will make working on your goal simply part of your routine and you are more likely to do it.\\n1-4. Place a goal reminder in a prominent place.\\nIf you are trying to save money to buy a house, stick a photo of your dream home to your fridge. If you are trying to pay off your credit card, attach a copy of the bill to your bathroom mirror. If you’d like an award at work, place a copy of last year’s award announcement on your desk.\\n1-5. Connect your goal to an already established habit.\\nIf you already brush your teeth before bed each night, simply add your goal of washing your face right afterwards. You can also water your plants at the same time that you go outside to take out the garbage or grab the mail. Or, drink more water at work by stopping at the cooler each time you leave your desk.\\n1-6. Keep your goals fun and exciting.\\nNot every goal that you need to achieve, such as paying off a credit card, is going to be riveting. However, you can make it more interesting by turning it into a game with prizes or rewards at certain intervals. You can even make bets about how much you can achieve by when.\\nFor example, turn on some music or listen to an audio book if you are working on a repetitive task.\\n1-7. Stay true to your values while pursuing your goals.\\nIt’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and confuse persistence with permission to behave in a negative way. Instead, stay true to the idea of positive persistence. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Obey the rules while pursuing success.\\nYou’ll find that keeping a positive, pleasant attitude will also make others more willing to help you achieve your goals.\\n2. Persisting through Hardship and Failure\\n2-1. Listen to but don't internalize your critics.\\nRecognize that you will always have people around who will not support you or your goals. The key is to not let their words dominate you. Use them as motivation to prove your critics wrong, or tune them out if they feel too toxic.\\nFor example, if a relative doesn’t support your professional ambitions, then you may need to stick to non-work topics when talking with them.\\nThis doesn’t hold totally true if someone is genuinely trying to offer you constructive advice or criticism. Other people sometimes see things you can't, and you can use their words for guidance. Use your best judgment to determine whether or not their words will be helpful or harmful to you.\\n2-2. Build up a support network.\\nLocate a support group in your area that focuses on the type of hardship that you are experiencing. Talk with trusted family members or friends about what you are experiencing and seek out their advice. Meet with a counselor to have a sounding board or someone who will just listen.\\nFor example, you might join a social group for small business owners. You can feel comfortable discussing any hardships, such as rent raises, that you are coping with.\\n2-3. Accept that failure happens.\\nThe most successful people in life have all failed. The difference between them and people who live in fear of failure is that successful people face the failure, learn from it, and use it to spur their next attempt. They persist because they know that failure is simply part of achievement.\\n2-4. Examine the underlying causes of your failure.\\nIf you are continually hitting roadblocks or problems when trying to reach a goal, take some time to think about why that might be. Weigh your actions and talents with a critical eye to see if they are truly good enough for what you are pursuing or if you might need to work a bit more or get some help.\\nFor example, if you keep stalling out at the interview stage for jobs, then you might need to polish your interview techniques.\\nThink about whether you're self-sabotaging. Underlying beliefs or negative feelings can keep you from reaching your full potential. If you find yourself getting stuck and can't seem to move past it, check in with yourself to see if you're attitude is the root cause.\\n2-5. Visualize your final achievement to stay motivated.\\nWhen the going gets tough and you feel like just dropping everything, restore your sense of purpose by remembering your vision. Picture you completing your goal and how that will feel. Imagine the congratulations and reactions of those around you.\\n2-6. Be wary of escapism.\\nIf you feel defeated or downtrodden, you might turn toward the television or even food to escape reality for a few moments. Short, controlled moments of self-care or leisure can be a great way for you to reboot and regroup. However, if you find yourself spending all of your free time “escaping” then you are likely losing sight of your larger goals.\\nAbusing alcohol and other substances is a particularly dangerous type of escapism. Look for more healthy ways to shift gears, such as working out.\\nDon't beat yourself up for taking time to let your brain rest and recharge. Hanging out with friends, going for a walk, reading a good book, watching your favorite show, or even taking a nap can all be forms of self-care. Just don't focus on them so much that you stop chasing your goal.\\n2-7. Reroute your energies if you determine that a goal is unattainable.\\nThis is not giving in or giving up, instead you are being persistent in utilizing your time and skills effectively. Look for a goal that is parallel to your original one or change directions entirely if that is what you need to do.\\nFor example, you might decide that pursuing a teaching degree is not for you, but you will need to find some sort of gainful employment goal.\\n3. Persisting with Requests or Refusals\\n3-1. Maintain a consistent tone of voice.\\nIf you are making a request, then you’ll like need to adopt a conciliatory and friendly approach. Growing frustrated at the person’s refusals or hedges will only make success less likely. Similarly, if you are the person doing the refusing, keep a confident and clear tone of voice when making your refusal known.\\nFor example, if you are repeatedly invited to an event that you don’t wish to attend, keep saying “no” in the same confident way until the person gets the message.\\n3-2. Adopt the \\\"broken record\\\" technique.\\nThis is a common technique used in assertiveness training. You simply repeat the same continuous, clear statement about your feeling, intention, or decision. You stay calm and avoid becoming angry, defensive, or irritated mid-conversation.\\nFor example, you might state, “I’m not comfortable with that.” You don't need to give any excuses or justifications for your refusal. Just keep saying your statement.\\nThis approach also requires that you avoid any attempts to sidetrack you and stay on your original message.\\n3-3. See a workable compromise as a positive solution.\\nWhen you ask for something or issue a refusal, it’s unlikely that the conversation will end there. Instead, you may need to work with someone else to find a solution that helps you both. When you reach a compromise, don’t view it as a failure. Instead, it’s another way to reach your original goal.\\nFor example, you might ask a co-worker to send you a particular email, but they may not have it. However, they might give you the name of someone who could forward it to you.\\nTips\\nDon’t be afraid to ask other people for help. They might assist you with reaching a goal or offer sound advice.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nPersistence is not a goal in and of itself. If you view it this way you risk becoming a stubborn person who refuses to see the larger picture or beyond yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When obstacles arrive, persistence can help you move over, around, or through them. The application of persistence to any task is often what sets apart successful people. Spending time each day working towards your goal, for example, increases your odds of success. It’s also important to ignore your detractors and keep going when you are faced with hardship or failure. Being persistent means putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pursuing Your Goals with Persistence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set a goal\", \"描述\": \"Spend some time thinking about exactly what results you wish to achieve and be as specific as you can. Establish a time frame for achieving each part of your final goal. Set your sights on a goal that is reasonable to accomplish.\\nAs you set your goal, ask yourself not only what you want to accomplish, but why you want to accomplish it. Figuring out what drives your goal will help give you purpose in the beginning, and motivation as you move toward your target.\\nIf you want to lose weight, for example, your reasons may include wanting to feel more comfortable in your own skin, be more physically capable, and feel better about your appearance.\\nIt helps to write down your goal on a prominent place, such as your wall calendar.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Break the goal down into smaller pieces.\", \"描述\": \"Divide the goal by a set of specific tasks that will take a certain amount of time to complete. A 1-hour goal could be broken up into 15-minute segments. Or, divide the task in segments, such as a particular number of files to sort each day.\\nEstablishing many small goals within a single larger one will keep you motivated and on track.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Devote a set amount of time each day to your goal.\", \"描述\": \"You might even start by setting aside 5 minutes each day to work on your goal. Then, raise this up to 10 minutes each day by the second week and so on. If you have a swamped schedule, this will make working on your goal simply part of your routine and you are more likely to do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Place a goal reminder in a prominent place.\", \"描述\": \"If you are trying to save money to buy a house, stick a photo of your dream home to your fridge. If you are trying to pay off your credit card, attach a copy of the bill to your bathroom mirror. If you’d like an award at work, place a copy of last year’s award announcement on your desk.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Connect your goal to an already established habit.\", \"描述\": \"If you already brush your teeth before bed each night, simply add your goal of washing your face right afterwards. You can also water your plants at the same time that you go outside to take out the garbage or grab the mail. Or, drink more water at work by stopping at the cooler each time you leave your desk.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your goals fun and exciting.\", \"描述\": \"Not every goal that you need to achieve, such as paying off a credit card, is going to be riveting. However, you can make it more interesting by turning it into a game with prizes or rewards at certain intervals. You can even make bets about how much you can achieve by when.\\nFor example, turn on some music or listen to an audio book if you are working on a repetitive task.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay true to your values while pursuing your goals.\", \"描述\": \"It’s very easy to get caught up in the moment and confuse persistence with permission to behave in a negative way. Instead, stay true to the idea of positive persistence. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Obey the rules while pursuing success.\\nYou’ll find that keeping a positive, pleasant attitude will also make others more willing to help you achieve your goals.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Persisting through Hardship and Failure\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to but don't internalize your critics.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize that you will always have people around who will not support you or your goals. The key is to not let their words dominate you. Use them as motivation to prove your critics wrong, or tune them out if they feel too toxic.\\nFor example, if a relative doesn’t support your professional ambitions, then you may need to stick to non-work topics when talking with them.\\nThis doesn’t hold totally true if someone is genuinely trying to offer you constructive advice or criticism. Other people sometimes see things you can't, and you can use their words for guidance. Use your best judgment to determine whether or not their words will be helpful or harmful to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build up a support network.\", \"描述\": \"Locate a support group in your area that focuses on the type of hardship that you are experiencing. Talk with trusted family members or friends about what you are experiencing and seek out their advice. Meet with a counselor to have a sounding board or someone who will just listen.\\nFor example, you might join a social group for small business owners. You can feel comfortable discussing any hardships, such as rent raises, that you are coping with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept that failure happens.\", \"描述\": \"The most successful people in life have all failed. The difference between them and people who live in fear of failure is that successful people face the failure, learn from it, and use it to spur their next attempt. They persist because they know that failure is simply part of achievement.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Examine the underlying causes of your failure.\", \"描述\": \"If you are continually hitting roadblocks or problems when trying to reach a goal, take some time to think about why that might be. Weigh your actions and talents with a critical eye to see if they are truly good enough for what you are pursuing or if you might need to work a bit more or get some help.\\nFor example, if you keep stalling out at the interview stage for jobs, then you might need to polish your interview techniques.\\nThink about whether you're self-sabotaging. Underlying beliefs or negative feelings can keep you from reaching your full potential. If you find yourself getting stuck and can't seem to move past it, check in with yourself to see if you're attitude is the root cause.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Visualize your final achievement to stay motivated.\", \"描述\": \"When the going gets tough and you feel like just dropping everything, restore your sense of purpose by remembering your vision. Picture you completing your goal and how that will feel. Imagine the congratulations and reactions of those around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be wary of escapism.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel defeated or downtrodden, you might turn toward the television or even food to escape reality for a few moments. Short, controlled moments of self-care or leisure can be a great way for you to reboot and regroup. However, if you find yourself spending all of your free time “escaping” then you are likely losing sight of your larger goals.\\nAbusing alcohol and other substances is a particularly dangerous type of escapism. Look for more healthy ways to shift gears, such as working out.\\nDon't beat yourself up for taking time to let your brain rest and recharge. Hanging out with friends, going for a walk, reading a good book, watching your favorite show, or even taking a nap can all be forms of self-care. Just don't focus on them so much that you stop chasing your goal.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Reroute your energies if you determine that a goal is unattainable.\", \"描述\": \"This is not giving in or giving up, instead you are being persistent in utilizing your time and skills effectively. Look for a goal that is parallel to your original one or change directions entirely if that is what you need to do.\\nFor example, you might decide that pursuing a teaching degree is not for you, but you will need to find some sort of gainful employment goal.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Persisting with Requests or Refusals\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain a consistent tone of voice.\", \"描述\": \"If you are making a request, then you’ll like need to adopt a conciliatory and friendly approach. Growing frustrated at the person’s refusals or hedges will only make success less likely. Similarly, if you are the person doing the refusing, keep a confident and clear tone of voice when making your refusal known.\\nFor example, if you are repeatedly invited to an event that you don’t wish to attend, keep saying “no” in the same confident way until the person gets the message.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adopt the \\\"broken record\\\" technique.\", \"描述\": \"This is a common technique used in assertiveness training. You simply repeat the same continuous, clear statement about your feeling, intention, or decision. You stay calm and avoid becoming angry, defensive, or irritated mid-conversation.\\nFor example, you might state, “I’m not comfortable with that.” You don't need to give any excuses or justifications for your refusal. Just keep saying your statement.\\nThis approach also requires that you avoid any attempts to sidetrack you and stay on your original message.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See a workable compromise as a positive solution.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask for something or issue a refusal, it’s unlikely that the conversation will end there. Instead, you may need to work with someone else to find a solution that helps you both. When you reach a compromise, don’t view it as a failure. Instead, it’s another way to reach your original goal.\\nFor example, you might ask a co-worker to send you a particular email, but they may not have it. However, they might give you the name of someone who could forward it to you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t be afraid to ask other people for help. They might assist you with reaching a goal or offer sound advice.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Persistence is not a goal in and of itself. If you view it this way you risk becoming a stubborn person who refuses to see the larger picture or beyond yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,028 | How to Be Persuasive | 1. Preparing Your Case
1-1. Gather evidence to support your argument.
Whether you’re trying to convince your reluctant friend to go to a party with you or you’re presenting a proposal to a skeptical board, you need to be the expert. Do as much research as you need to gather convincing evidence in support of your case. Where you get your information will depend on what you’re arguing about, but aim to use only the most reliable, legitimate sources.
If you’re not sure that what you’re saying is true, or if there’s a chance your listener will know you’ve made an error, they won’t be easily convinced.
To encourage your friend to go to the party, make sure you know exactly who else is going. This way, you can confidently say “Well, Kendra, Liam, and Chantel are going. They think it’ll be fun!”
1-2. Prepare what you’ll say to counterarguments in advance.
Expect that your listener will respond with a few opposing opinions. While gathering evidence on your topic, brainstorm all the possible counterarguments that they might make. Get to know what evidence your opposition will rely upon and why they hold their opinion. Then plan out how you’ll respond to that perspective. Gather evidence to support your defense.
Continuing the previous example, beyond just knowing who’s going to the party, you’ll need to find out who isn’t going and why.
When your friend comes back with a counterargument (“Yeah but Rick isn’t going so it’s not the whole group”) you can assert your defense with proof (“Rick is heading out of town, but he said he’d much rather be at the party.”)
If you want to get a dog but your parents are worried about you being too busy to take care of it, be ready to explain how you’ll fit morning walks and daily feeding into your schedule.
1-3. Bring up the topic in a way that the other person will respond well to.
Modify your approach based on your listener’s personality and how they like to process new information. Think back to a time that person agreed to something you presented, and try to recall how you brought up the topic and convinced them. Then model your approach based on this successful example.
If you have a skeptical boss who likes to feel like the hero, don’t rush in with an ultra-confident approach. Your boss will instantly dismiss your proposal. Instead, present the case as if you need your boss’ wisdom and advice. Make it seem like it’s their idea, and they’ll likely end up in support of your project.
If you’re trying to get a teacher to extend your project’s deadline, and you know she’s a big supporter of your school sports team, frame your request as a conflict that she could solve: “So I’ve been working really hard on this report but this week has been full of practices for the big game tomorrow...” This way, she might offer you an extension without you having to directly ask!
2. Asserting Your Credibility (Ethos)
2-1. Explain why you're an expert on the topic.
Share proof of your credibility and experience so that your listener automatically trusts you as an authority. Early on in your conversation, mention the experiences and past successes have given you lots of experience in the area you’re talking about. Use examples like these to explain why your case is worth listening to:
If you’re trying to convince your parents to get a family pet, talk about how you’ve been doing a great job pet-sitting for a neighbor and you know all about pet care.
If you’re convincing a teacher to let you take an advanced class, mention your previous good grades as evidence that you can handle the challenge.
If you’re trying to get a job, tell the interviewer about degrees, achievements, and awards that make you an expert in your industry.
2-2. Use keywords that show you know a lot about your topic.
Use vocabulary words related to the topic you’re discussing. Instead of avoiding complicated terminology, abbreviations, or phrases, look up these terms ahead of time and make sure you know how to use them. Then drop them into your conversation and you’ll impress your listener. This is especially useful if your listener is an expert in your topic; aim to speak their language so they see you as a fellow expert.
If you’re trying to sell a product to a customer who’s a photographer, list off camera specs with confidence. They’ll feel like you understand their line of work and may be open to hearing your pitch.
If you’re speaking to your parents about getting your first credit card, don’t shy away from financial jargon. Instead, work terms like “credit score” and “billing cycle” into the conversation to show that you know what you’re talking about.
Say you’re trying to convince a classmate to let you practice guitar with their band after school. If they consider their group a “band,” don’t call it a “club.” You’ll sound like you don’t respect what they’re doing and they might not let you hang around.
2-3. Back up your argument with convincing visuals like a graph or the right outfit.
Think about what your listener might expect to see, and provide just that. If you want to establish yourself as a certain type of authority, dress the part. Include visual cues in your outfit or your visual aids that your audience can pick up on.
If you’re trying to get your family to let you get a part-time job while you’re still in school, make sure you’re well groomed and nicely dressed when you strike up the conversation. Don’t make the request while you’re in sloppy sweatpants; you won’t look responsible enough to start working.
If you’re submitting a big research paper to a professor, make sure it looks crisp and professional. Don’t allow sloppy formatting or wrinkled pages to distract from the quality of your writing.
To get your parents to sign you up for gymnastics class, put on a leotard and start doing cartwheels around the living room. You’ll look like you need an outlet for your skills and energy.
2-4. Demonstrate confidence in yourself and your arguments.
Stand up straight, look others in the eye, smile, and keep your voice even and enthusiastic. Assert your viewpoints as facts rather than weakening them with “I think X” or “I believe Y.” Say “I’m confident about X” to show your listener just how strongly you believe in your message.
Nerves and uncertainty can ruin your ability to be persuasive. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, your listener won’t have confidence in you either.
Listeners tend to assume a confident communicator is correct and trustworthy. So if you show and tell your significant other that you’re confident about how safe skydiving is, they’ll start to believe you.
3. Engaging Emotions (Pathos)
3-1. Use group pronouns like “we,” “us,” and “our.”
Avoid using pronouns like “I” and “me” or referring to your listener as “you.” This places you in opposition to your listener and may make your attempts to convince them feel like a personal attack. Instead, use words like "we," “us,” and “our” to make it sound like you and your listener are on the same side. Reinforce this group mentality with terms like “together” or “all of us.”
Inclusive language is much more effective than language that sets the persuader apart from their listener. It encourages your listener to view you as a single group unit with similar interests, rather than two separate entities.
Rather than telling your group project teammates, “I saw a mistake on the poster. You should fix it,” try saying, “Let’s fix that mistake on the poster” as you hand them the poster and the white-out.
3-2. Share a powerful story that will engage your listener’s emotions.
To pull at your listener’s heart strings, tell a captivating story that represents your case. Use your evidence to craft a true but compelling narrative about a main character who faces ups, downs, twists, and turns. This character could be you, a member of a community, or a made-up character as long as the story illustrates what you’re trying to prove. Use descriptive language to illustrate how things are now and how greatly they could be improved with your vision in place.
If you’re arguing for a decision that will help improve a situation, illustrate how dire the situation is right now.
Finish your story with 2 possible endings, 1 “bad” ending that doesn’t include your solution and 1 “good” ending that does.
For example, a sad story about how dark and gloomy your dorm room is and how you can’t focus on your homework might encourage your guardian to buy you an expensive floor lamp. The “bad” ending would be failing grades; the “good” ending would be reaching the top of the class.
3-3. Incite anger or pity to prompt an action.
In combination with powerful storytelling, encourage your listener to get mad or feel pity. Speak in an emotional tone of voice and get your body moving with expressive gestures that show just how infuriated or inspired you feel. If your listener starts mirroring your emotions, demonize the opposite choice to get them even more worked up.
While managing and presenting certain emotions is a persuasive strategy, don’t let it become manipulative or disingenuous. Be as authentic as possible and try to only express emotions you truly feel.
If your dad isn’t enthusiastic about letting you go to a new friend’s sleepover party, say something about how not going could make you lonely at school: “I’m just starting to make friends with this group, and I really don’t want to miss the chance to get to know them better. Otherwise I won’t really have any good friends in my class this year.”
Sprinkle rhetorical questions into your persuasive rant to get your listener nodding along or shaking their head. Try phrases like “Can’t we put an end to this once and for all?” (Yes!) or “Can you believe how horrible the current situation is?” (No!).
3-4. Flatter your listener by placing them at the center of your story.
Appeal to your listener’s vanity. Instead of showing the negative implications for a character in your emotional story, place your listener at the heart of your narrative. Explain the consequences they’ll face if they don’t follow your perspective, then describe the positive turnout in a way that churns up their hopes and desires. Help your listener see the reward.
Lure your listener with flattering compliments to make them feel good about following your lead.
Make irresistible offers they won’t be able to refuse, based on their values or vanity.
If you’re trying to get your sister to pick out a different party dress so you can borrow it later, tell her how gorgeous and radiant she looks in the blue sparkly one.
If you want your friend to buy a certain video game so you can play it together, gush about how amazing and unbeatable he is at that type of game.
4. Relying on Facts and Logic (Logos)
4-1. Start with facts your listener can agree with to get them in an open mindset.
Before getting into the heavy facts and figures, begin with ideas your listener already agrees with. Present these in a way that nudges your listener confirm that they agree. Try framing the general topic as a question your listener can say yes to, and consider ending your points with the rhetorical “Right?”
You could open up your argument with 2 questions like this: “1,500 children attend this school, right?” (Yes, this is a basic fact.) “Do we agree that the lack of after-school support is a problem for these students and our community?” (Yes, this is the topic of the conversation.)
Your listener will be nodding along in no time. With this momentum, they’ll be more likely to get on board with your more complex arguments later on.
4-2. Support your claims with factual evidence.
Once you move past the obvious or noncontroversial points, you’ll need to back up your more controversial claims with proof. Draw quantitative facts, statistics, study results, and other such evidence from reputable sources. Bring visual aids or original source material as additional proof. Try to memorize the most important facts so you can easily bring them up in conversation.
Try generating a spreadsheet to show your boss just how profitable your idea will be or quoting a recent study that addresses your topic.
Pull up a quote for the internet plan you want your roommates to agree to and show them just how affordable to rates are for the service you’d be receiving.
If you place facts and figures right in front of your listener that shows how logical your case is, they’ll find it a lot harder to argue against you.
4-3. Present logical arguments.
Walk your listener through logically sound and valid arguments. Use inductive reasoning to prove your point. Start by explaining a specific case study and then draw broader conclusions from it. Or try the opposite approach through deductive reasoning. To do this, begin by proving a general fact and then apply it to your specific case. Avoid making logical fallacies, which means using facts to make incorrect conclusions.
Here’s how you could use inductive reasoning to prove your point to your parents: “Universities are all encouraging students to study abroad. Look at this brochure our college sent out about the benefits of travel and studying abroad. I think taking that study trip to the Andes would really expand my worldview.”
One logical fallacy to avoid is known as post hoc ergo propter hoc. This involves making an incorrect assumption based on the order of events. For instance, you’d be wrong to argue that the library caused your headache because you went to the library and then developed a headache.
Another fallacy is the slippery slope. This is where you’d say describe a chain of events where the first point seems to lead to the final point. For example: “If you let me stay home from school tomorrow, I’ll be able to practice with the band so we can become rich and famous rockstars.” This implies that staying home will bring you fame and fortune, which isn’t logical or very convincing.
5. Delivering Your Argument
5-1. Start the conversation when your listener is in a calm and open mindset.
Timing is everything when it comes to persuading someone. Be sensitive to where your listener is along their journey toward making a decision. Feel free to ask directly. If it’s not the right time yet, focus on maintaining a positive relationship with your listener until they’re more in the mood to make a decision.
If you’re trying to sell someone a couch, chat them up when they're looking at couches, not when they’re in the refrigerator aisle.
Pay attention to their behaviors and adapt accordingly. If they're spending a lot of time looking at different couches, and they’ve told you they want to buy something this weekend, stick by their side to offer your expertise.
If your prospective customer said they don’t want to buy a couch until next September, don’t harass them as they're walking past toward the exit.
5-2. Create a sense of urgency or scarcity to jolt your listener into action.
Use an expiration date on your sales offer to show that the decision has to be made quickly. Tell your friends that there are only a few concert tickets left. Let your reluctant coworker know you’re all heading out to lunch “right now!” and if they don’t act soon they’ll be left behind. Urge your listener to act quickly for fear of missing their chance.
If your listener only has a few moments to think about the decision, they'll have less time to explore and listen to their opposing instincts.
Include calls-to-action like “act now” or “limited time only” in your pitch to get the results you’re looking for.
5-3. Address counterarguments and defend yourself against them.
Before your listener has a chance to jump in with an opposing view, tell them what they’re already thinking. Be up-front about the opposing viewpoint. Present it in an empathetic way, so your listener feels heard and understood. Then logically argue your defense against it.
A strategy like this will not only help your listener connect with you since they feel understood, but it will boost your credibility since you’ll appear to know your subject inside and out.
This is a powerful approach that combines pathos, ethos, and logos all in one.
If you want to go out with friends even when you have a lot of homework, rather than waiting for your dad to say “But what about your homework?” say something like “Ok, I know you’re probably wondering about all the homework I have. But I actually have a plan to do chemistry and English tonight before dinner and study for my history exam during my study hour tomorrow morning.” He’ll be impressed with how well you’ve thought it all out.
5-4. Remain calm while you deliver and defend your argument.
Don’t allow yourself to become overpowered by your emotions. Even if you’re delivering an emotional appeal, keep your feelings and temper in check.
Negative energy and frantic yelling aren’t persuasive; this behavior will undermine your authority.
5-5. Slow down your speech if your listener agrees, but speed up if they disagree.
If you sense your listener may agree with you, or you notice them nodding along as you present your case, slow down your speech. Give them plenty of time to soak in your evidence and insert their own arguments in support of your case. But if you have a tougher listener who disagrees, run through your arguments at a quick pace so they can’t keep up their critiques.
In conversation, pause to allow someone who agreement with you to articulate their own affirmative viewpoints.
Don’t allow someone who disagrees with you to seize control of the conversation.
If you move and speak quickly, a disagreeing listener won’t have much time to process their own counterarguments. They’ll get swept away in what you’re saying and may be overwhelmed into agreeing.
5-6. Be ready to ease off or get more aggressive based on your listener’s reactions.
After you present something persuasive, watch for your listener’s reactions. Observe facial expressions, body language, and even breath. All of these behaviors can tell you what someone is thinking. Avoid sticking to a rigid script; being able to react to your listener's responses can make you much more successful. If you sense your listener starts to get annoyed after you get more direct, soften up your tone and be more empathetic. If they seem distracted or dismissive, try laying down the cold, hard facts in a more direct manner.
Held breathes indicate anticipation while a sharp gasp usually indicated surprise.
Squinted eyes indicate doubt or displeasure, as do crossed arms and a cocked head.
Upright posture with a forward lean indicates interest.
Tips
If you’re writing a persuasive speech for school or getting ready to deliver a public presentation, try out any of these strategies to make your speech more effective.
Studies show that if you nod while you're speaking, people are more likely to agree with you.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Your Case\\n1-1. Gather evidence to support your argument.\\nWhether you’re trying to convince your reluctant friend to go to a party with you or you’re presenting a proposal to a skeptical board, you need to be the expert. Do as much research as you need to gather convincing evidence in support of your case. Where you get your information will depend on what you’re arguing about, but aim to use only the most reliable, legitimate sources.\\nIf you’re not sure that what you’re saying is true, or if there’s a chance your listener will know you’ve made an error, they won’t be easily convinced.\\nTo encourage your friend to go to the party, make sure you know exactly who else is going. This way, you can confidently say “Well, Kendra, Liam, and Chantel are going. They think it’ll be fun!”\\n1-2. Prepare what you’ll say to counterarguments in advance.\\nExpect that your listener will respond with a few opposing opinions. While gathering evidence on your topic, brainstorm all the possible counterarguments that they might make. Get to know what evidence your opposition will rely upon and why they hold their opinion. Then plan out how you’ll respond to that perspective. Gather evidence to support your defense.\\nContinuing the previous example, beyond just knowing who’s going to the party, you’ll need to find out who isn’t going and why.\\nWhen your friend comes back with a counterargument (“Yeah but Rick isn’t going so it’s not the whole group”) you can assert your defense with proof (“Rick is heading out of town, but he said he’d much rather be at the party.”)\\nIf you want to get a dog but your parents are worried about you being too busy to take care of it, be ready to explain how you’ll fit morning walks and daily feeding into your schedule.\\n1-3. Bring up the topic in a way that the other person will respond well to.\\nModify your approach based on your listener’s personality and how they like to process new information. Think back to a time that person agreed to something you presented, and try to recall how you brought up the topic and convinced them. Then model your approach based on this successful example.\\nIf you have a skeptical boss who likes to feel like the hero, don’t rush in with an ultra-confident approach. Your boss will instantly dismiss your proposal. Instead, present the case as if you need your boss’ wisdom and advice. Make it seem like it’s their idea, and they’ll likely end up in support of your project.\\nIf you’re trying to get a teacher to extend your project’s deadline, and you know she’s a big supporter of your school sports team, frame your request as a conflict that she could solve: “So I’ve been working really hard on this report but this week has been full of practices for the big game tomorrow...” This way, she might offer you an extension without you having to directly ask!\\n2. Asserting Your Credibility (Ethos)\\n2-1. Explain why you're an expert on the topic.\\nShare proof of your credibility and experience so that your listener automatically trusts you as an authority. Early on in your conversation, mention the experiences and past successes have given you lots of experience in the area you’re talking about. Use examples like these to explain why your case is worth listening to:\\nIf you’re trying to convince your parents to get a family pet, talk about how you’ve been doing a great job pet-sitting for a neighbor and you know all about pet care.\\nIf you’re convincing a teacher to let you take an advanced class, mention your previous good grades as evidence that you can handle the challenge.\\nIf you’re trying to get a job, tell the interviewer about degrees, achievements, and awards that make you an expert in your industry.\\n2-2. Use keywords that show you know a lot about your topic.\\nUse vocabulary words related to the topic you’re discussing. Instead of avoiding complicated terminology, abbreviations, or phrases, look up these terms ahead of time and make sure you know how to use them. Then drop them into your conversation and you’ll impress your listener. This is especially useful if your listener is an expert in your topic; aim to speak their language so they see you as a fellow expert.\\nIf you’re trying to sell a product to a customer who’s a photographer, list off camera specs with confidence. They’ll feel like you understand their line of work and may be open to hearing your pitch.\\nIf you’re speaking to your parents about getting your first credit card, don’t shy away from financial jargon. Instead, work terms like “credit score” and “billing cycle” into the conversation to show that you know what you’re talking about.\\nSay you’re trying to convince a classmate to let you practice guitar with their band after school. If they consider their group a “band,” don’t call it a “club.” You’ll sound like you don’t respect what they’re doing and they might not let you hang around.\\n2-3. Back up your argument with convincing visuals like a graph or the right outfit.\\nThink about what your listener might expect to see, and provide just that. If you want to establish yourself as a certain type of authority, dress the part. Include visual cues in your outfit or your visual aids that your audience can pick up on.\\nIf you’re trying to get your family to let you get a part-time job while you’re still in school, make sure you’re well groomed and nicely dressed when you strike up the conversation. Don’t make the request while you’re in sloppy sweatpants; you won’t look responsible enough to start working.\\nIf you’re submitting a big research paper to a professor, make sure it looks crisp and professional. Don’t allow sloppy formatting or wrinkled pages to distract from the quality of your writing.\\nTo get your parents to sign you up for gymnastics class, put on a leotard and start doing cartwheels around the living room. You’ll look like you need an outlet for your skills and energy.\\n2-4. Demonstrate confidence in yourself and your arguments.\\nStand up straight, look others in the eye, smile, and keep your voice even and enthusiastic. Assert your viewpoints as facts rather than weakening them with “I think X” or “I believe Y.” Say “I’m confident about X” to show your listener just how strongly you believe in your message.\\nNerves and uncertainty can ruin your ability to be persuasive. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, your listener won’t have confidence in you either.\\nListeners tend to assume a confident communicator is correct and trustworthy. So if you show and tell your significant other that you’re confident about how safe skydiving is, they’ll start to believe you.\\n3. Engaging Emotions (Pathos)\\n3-1. Use group pronouns like “we,” “us,” and “our.”\\nAvoid using pronouns like “I” and “me” or referring to your listener as “you.” This places you in opposition to your listener and may make your attempts to convince them feel like a personal attack. Instead, use words like \\\"we,\\\" “us,” and “our” to make it sound like you and your listener are on the same side. Reinforce this group mentality with terms like “together” or “all of us.”\\nInclusive language is much more effective than language that sets the persuader apart from their listener. It encourages your listener to view you as a single group unit with similar interests, rather than two separate entities.\\nRather than telling your group project teammates, “I saw a mistake on the poster. You should fix it,” try saying, “Let’s fix that mistake on the poster” as you hand them the poster and the white-out.\\n3-2. Share a powerful story that will engage your listener’s emotions.\\nTo pull at your listener’s heart strings, tell a captivating story that represents your case. Use your evidence to craft a true but compelling narrative about a main character who faces ups, downs, twists, and turns. This character could be you, a member of a community, or a made-up character as long as the story illustrates what you’re trying to prove. Use descriptive language to illustrate how things are now and how greatly they could be improved with your vision in place.\\nIf you’re arguing for a decision that will help improve a situation, illustrate how dire the situation is right now.\\nFinish your story with 2 possible endings, 1 “bad” ending that doesn’t include your solution and 1 “good” ending that does.\\nFor example, a sad story about how dark and gloomy your dorm room is and how you can’t focus on your homework might encourage your guardian to buy you an expensive floor lamp. The “bad” ending would be failing grades; the “good” ending would be reaching the top of the class.\\n3-3. Incite anger or pity to prompt an action.\\nIn combination with powerful storytelling, encourage your listener to get mad or feel pity. Speak in an emotional tone of voice and get your body moving with expressive gestures that show just how infuriated or inspired you feel. If your listener starts mirroring your emotions, demonize the opposite choice to get them even more worked up.\\nWhile managing and presenting certain emotions is a persuasive strategy, don’t let it become manipulative or disingenuous. Be as authentic as possible and try to only express emotions you truly feel.\\nIf your dad isn’t enthusiastic about letting you go to a new friend’s sleepover party, say something about how not going could make you lonely at school: “I’m just starting to make friends with this group, and I really don’t want to miss the chance to get to know them better. Otherwise I won’t really have any good friends in my class this year.”\\nSprinkle rhetorical questions into your persuasive rant to get your listener nodding along or shaking their head. Try phrases like “Can’t we put an end to this once and for all?” (Yes!) or “Can you believe how horrible the current situation is?” (No!).\\n3-4. Flatter your listener by placing them at the center of your story.\\nAppeal to your listener’s vanity. Instead of showing the negative implications for a character in your emotional story, place your listener at the heart of your narrative. Explain the consequences they’ll face if they don’t follow your perspective, then describe the positive turnout in a way that churns up their hopes and desires. Help your listener see the reward.\\nLure your listener with flattering compliments to make them feel good about following your lead.\\nMake irresistible offers they won’t be able to refuse, based on their values or vanity.\\nIf you’re trying to get your sister to pick out a different party dress so you can borrow it later, tell her how gorgeous and radiant she looks in the blue sparkly one.\\nIf you want your friend to buy a certain video game so you can play it together, gush about how amazing and unbeatable he is at that type of game.\\n4. Relying on Facts and Logic (Logos)\\n4-1. Start with facts your listener can agree with to get them in an open mindset.\\nBefore getting into the heavy facts and figures, begin with ideas your listener already agrees with. Present these in a way that nudges your listener confirm that they agree. Try framing the general topic as a question your listener can say yes to, and consider ending your points with the rhetorical “Right?”\\nYou could open up your argument with 2 questions like this: “1,500 children attend this school, right?” (Yes, this is a basic fact.) “Do we agree that the lack of after-school support is a problem for these students and our community?” (Yes, this is the topic of the conversation.)\\nYour listener will be nodding along in no time. With this momentum, they’ll be more likely to get on board with your more complex arguments later on.\\n4-2. Support your claims with factual evidence.\\nOnce you move past the obvious or noncontroversial points, you’ll need to back up your more controversial claims with proof. Draw quantitative facts, statistics, study results, and other such evidence from reputable sources. Bring visual aids or original source material as additional proof. Try to memorize the most important facts so you can easily bring them up in conversation.\\nTry generating a spreadsheet to show your boss just how profitable your idea will be or quoting a recent study that addresses your topic.\\nPull up a quote for the internet plan you want your roommates to agree to and show them just how affordable to rates are for the service you’d be receiving.\\nIf you place facts and figures right in front of your listener that shows how logical your case is, they’ll find it a lot harder to argue against you.\\n4-3. Present logical arguments.\\nWalk your listener through logically sound and valid arguments. Use inductive reasoning to prove your point. Start by explaining a specific case study and then draw broader conclusions from it. Or try the opposite approach through deductive reasoning. To do this, begin by proving a general fact and then apply it to your specific case. Avoid making logical fallacies, which means using facts to make incorrect conclusions.\\nHere’s how you could use inductive reasoning to prove your point to your parents: “Universities are all encouraging students to study abroad. Look at this brochure our college sent out about the benefits of travel and studying abroad. I think taking that study trip to the Andes would really expand my worldview.”\\nOne logical fallacy to avoid is known as post hoc ergo propter hoc. This involves making an incorrect assumption based on the order of events. For instance, you’d be wrong to argue that the library caused your headache because you went to the library and then developed a headache.\\nAnother fallacy is the slippery slope. This is where you’d say describe a chain of events where the first point seems to lead to the final point. For example: “If you let me stay home from school tomorrow, I’ll be able to practice with the band so we can become rich and famous rockstars.” This implies that staying home will bring you fame and fortune, which isn’t logical or very convincing.\\n5. Delivering Your Argument\\n5-1. Start the conversation when your listener is in a calm and open mindset.\\nTiming is everything when it comes to persuading someone. Be sensitive to where your listener is along their journey toward making a decision. Feel free to ask directly. If it’s not the right time yet, focus on maintaining a positive relationship with your listener until they’re more in the mood to make a decision.\\nIf you’re trying to sell someone a couch, chat them up when they're looking at couches, not when they’re in the refrigerator aisle.\\nPay attention to their behaviors and adapt accordingly. If they're spending a lot of time looking at different couches, and they’ve told you they want to buy something this weekend, stick by their side to offer your expertise.\\nIf your prospective customer said they don’t want to buy a couch until next September, don’t harass them as they're walking past toward the exit.\\n5-2. Create a sense of urgency or scarcity to jolt your listener into action.\\nUse an expiration date on your sales offer to show that the decision has to be made quickly. Tell your friends that there are only a few concert tickets left. Let your reluctant coworker know you’re all heading out to lunch “right now!” and if they don’t act soon they’ll be left behind. Urge your listener to act quickly for fear of missing their chance.\\nIf your listener only has a few moments to think about the decision, they'll have less time to explore and listen to their opposing instincts.\\nInclude calls-to-action like “act now” or “limited time only” in your pitch to get the results you’re looking for.\\n5-3. Address counterarguments and defend yourself against them.\\nBefore your listener has a chance to jump in with an opposing view, tell them what they’re already thinking. Be up-front about the opposing viewpoint. Present it in an empathetic way, so your listener feels heard and understood. Then logically argue your defense against it.\\nA strategy like this will not only help your listener connect with you since they feel understood, but it will boost your credibility since you’ll appear to know your subject inside and out.\\nThis is a powerful approach that combines pathos, ethos, and logos all in one.\\nIf you want to go out with friends even when you have a lot of homework, rather than waiting for your dad to say “But what about your homework?” say something like “Ok, I know you’re probably wondering about all the homework I have. But I actually have a plan to do chemistry and English tonight before dinner and study for my history exam during my study hour tomorrow morning.” He’ll be impressed with how well you’ve thought it all out.\\n5-4. Remain calm while you deliver and defend your argument.\\nDon’t allow yourself to become overpowered by your emotions. Even if you’re delivering an emotional appeal, keep your feelings and temper in check.\\nNegative energy and frantic yelling aren’t persuasive; this behavior will undermine your authority.\\n5-5. Slow down your speech if your listener agrees, but speed up if they disagree.\\nIf you sense your listener may agree with you, or you notice them nodding along as you present your case, slow down your speech. Give them plenty of time to soak in your evidence and insert their own arguments in support of your case. But if you have a tougher listener who disagrees, run through your arguments at a quick pace so they can’t keep up their critiques.\\nIn conversation, pause to allow someone who agreement with you to articulate their own affirmative viewpoints.\\nDon’t allow someone who disagrees with you to seize control of the conversation.\\nIf you move and speak quickly, a disagreeing listener won’t have much time to process their own counterarguments. They’ll get swept away in what you’re saying and may be overwhelmed into agreeing.\\n5-6. Be ready to ease off or get more aggressive based on your listener’s reactions.\\nAfter you present something persuasive, watch for your listener’s reactions. Observe facial expressions, body language, and even breath. All of these behaviors can tell you what someone is thinking. Avoid sticking to a rigid script; being able to react to your listener's responses can make you much more successful. If you sense your listener starts to get annoyed after you get more direct, soften up your tone and be more empathetic. If they seem distracted or dismissive, try laying down the cold, hard facts in a more direct manner.\\nHeld breathes indicate anticipation while a sharp gasp usually indicated surprise.\\nSquinted eyes indicate doubt or displeasure, as do crossed arms and a cocked head.\\nUpright posture with a forward lean indicates interest.\\nTips\\nIf you’re writing a persuasive speech for school or getting ready to deliver a public presentation, try out any of these strategies to make your speech more effective.\\nStudies show that if you nod while you're speaking, people are more likely to agree with you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re trying to persuade your boss to shift your team project in a different direction or argue your case in a persuasive essay, a few persuasion techniques can help you get your message across. We'll show you how to highlight your expertise, use storytelling to engage your listener’s emotions, and present the facts effectively. Ready to make your case? Read on for the best persuasive communication strategies. Soon enough you’ll be sweet-talking your way to success!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Your Case\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather evidence to support your argument.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re trying to convince your reluctant friend to go to a party with you or you’re presenting a proposal to a skeptical board, you need to be the expert. Do as much research as you need to gather convincing evidence in support of your case. Where you get your information will depend on what you’re arguing about, but aim to use only the most reliable, legitimate sources.\\nIf you’re not sure that what you’re saying is true, or if there’s a chance your listener will know you’ve made an error, they won’t be easily convinced.\\nTo encourage your friend to go to the party, make sure you know exactly who else is going. This way, you can confidently say “Well, Kendra, Liam, and Chantel are going. They think it’ll be fun!”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare what you’ll say to counterarguments in advance.\", \"描述\": \"Expect that your listener will respond with a few opposing opinions. While gathering evidence on your topic, brainstorm all the possible counterarguments that they might make. Get to know what evidence your opposition will rely upon and why they hold their opinion. Then plan out how you’ll respond to that perspective. Gather evidence to support your defense.\\nContinuing the previous example, beyond just knowing who’s going to the party, you’ll need to find out who isn’t going and why.\\nWhen your friend comes back with a counterargument (“Yeah but Rick isn’t going so it’s not the whole group”) you can assert your defense with proof (“Rick is heading out of town, but he said he’d much rather be at the party.”)\\nIf you want to get a dog but your parents are worried about you being too busy to take care of it, be ready to explain how you’ll fit morning walks and daily feeding into your schedule.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring up the topic in a way that the other person will respond well to.\", \"描述\": \"Modify your approach based on your listener’s personality and how they like to process new information. Think back to a time that person agreed to something you presented, and try to recall how you brought up the topic and convinced them. Then model your approach based on this successful example.\\nIf you have a skeptical boss who likes to feel like the hero, don’t rush in with an ultra-confident approach. Your boss will instantly dismiss your proposal. Instead, present the case as if you need your boss’ wisdom and advice. Make it seem like it’s their idea, and they’ll likely end up in support of your project.\\nIf you’re trying to get a teacher to extend your project’s deadline, and you know she’s a big supporter of your school sports team, frame your request as a conflict that she could solve: “So I’ve been working really hard on this report but this week has been full of practices for the big game tomorrow...” This way, she might offer you an extension without you having to directly ask!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asserting Your Credibility (Ethos)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain why you're an expert on the topic.\", \"描述\": \"Share proof of your credibility and experience so that your listener automatically trusts you as an authority. Early on in your conversation, mention the experiences and past successes have given you lots of experience in the area you’re talking about. Use examples like these to explain why your case is worth listening to:\\nIf you’re trying to convince your parents to get a family pet, talk about how you’ve been doing a great job pet-sitting for a neighbor and you know all about pet care.\\nIf you’re convincing a teacher to let you take an advanced class, mention your previous good grades as evidence that you can handle the challenge.\\nIf you’re trying to get a job, tell the interviewer about degrees, achievements, and awards that make you an expert in your industry.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use keywords that show you know a lot about your topic.\", \"描述\": \"Use vocabulary words related to the topic you’re discussing. Instead of avoiding complicated terminology, abbreviations, or phrases, look up these terms ahead of time and make sure you know how to use them. Then drop them into your conversation and you’ll impress your listener. This is especially useful if your listener is an expert in your topic; aim to speak their language so they see you as a fellow expert.\\nIf you’re trying to sell a product to a customer who’s a photographer, list off camera specs with confidence. They’ll feel like you understand their line of work and may be open to hearing your pitch.\\nIf you’re speaking to your parents about getting your first credit card, don’t shy away from financial jargon. Instead, work terms like “credit score” and “billing cycle” into the conversation to show that you know what you’re talking about.\\nSay you’re trying to convince a classmate to let you practice guitar with their band after school. If they consider their group a “band,” don’t call it a “club.” You’ll sound like you don’t respect what they’re doing and they might not let you hang around.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Back up your argument with convincing visuals like a graph or the right outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what your listener might expect to see, and provide just that. If you want to establish yourself as a certain type of authority, dress the part. Include visual cues in your outfit or your visual aids that your audience can pick up on.\\nIf you’re trying to get your family to let you get a part-time job while you’re still in school, make sure you’re well groomed and nicely dressed when you strike up the conversation. Don’t make the request while you’re in sloppy sweatpants; you won’t look responsible enough to start working.\\nIf you’re submitting a big research paper to a professor, make sure it looks crisp and professional. Don’t allow sloppy formatting or wrinkled pages to distract from the quality of your writing.\\nTo get your parents to sign you up for gymnastics class, put on a leotard and start doing cartwheels around the living room. You’ll look like you need an outlet for your skills and energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate confidence in yourself and your arguments.\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight, look others in the eye, smile, and keep your voice even and enthusiastic. Assert your viewpoints as facts rather than weakening them with “I think X” or “I believe Y.” Say “I’m confident about X” to show your listener just how strongly you believe in your message.\\nNerves and uncertainty can ruin your ability to be persuasive. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, your listener won’t have confidence in you either.\\nListeners tend to assume a confident communicator is correct and trustworthy. So if you show and tell your significant other that you’re confident about how safe skydiving is, they’ll start to believe you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engaging Emotions (Pathos)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use group pronouns like “we,” “us,” and “our.”\", \"描述\": \"Avoid using pronouns like “I” and “me” or referring to your listener as “you.” This places you in opposition to your listener and may make your attempts to convince them feel like a personal attack. Instead, use words like \\\"we,\\\" “us,” and “our” to make it sound like you and your listener are on the same side. Reinforce this group mentality with terms like “together” or “all of us.”\\nInclusive language is much more effective than language that sets the persuader apart from their listener. It encourages your listener to view you as a single group unit with similar interests, rather than two separate entities.\\nRather than telling your group project teammates, “I saw a mistake on the poster. You should fix it,” try saying, “Let’s fix that mistake on the poster” as you hand them the poster and the white-out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Share a powerful story that will engage your listener’s emotions.\", \"描述\": \"To pull at your listener’s heart strings, tell a captivating story that represents your case. Use your evidence to craft a true but compelling narrative about a main character who faces ups, downs, twists, and turns. This character could be you, a member of a community, or a made-up character as long as the story illustrates what you’re trying to prove. Use descriptive language to illustrate how things are now and how greatly they could be improved with your vision in place.\\nIf you’re arguing for a decision that will help improve a situation, illustrate how dire the situation is right now.\\nFinish your story with 2 possible endings, 1 “bad” ending that doesn’t include your solution and 1 “good” ending that does.\\nFor example, a sad story about how dark and gloomy your dorm room is and how you can’t focus on your homework might encourage your guardian to buy you an expensive floor lamp. The “bad” ending would be failing grades; the “good” ending would be reaching the top of the class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Incite anger or pity to prompt an action.\", \"描述\": \"In combination with powerful storytelling, encourage your listener to get mad or feel pity. Speak in an emotional tone of voice and get your body moving with expressive gestures that show just how infuriated or inspired you feel. If your listener starts mirroring your emotions, demonize the opposite choice to get them even more worked up.\\nWhile managing and presenting certain emotions is a persuasive strategy, don’t let it become manipulative or disingenuous. Be as authentic as possible and try to only express emotions you truly feel.\\nIf your dad isn’t enthusiastic about letting you go to a new friend’s sleepover party, say something about how not going could make you lonely at school: “I’m just starting to make friends with this group, and I really don’t want to miss the chance to get to know them better. Otherwise I won’t really have any good friends in my class this year.”\\nSprinkle rhetorical questions into your persuasive rant to get your listener nodding along or shaking their head. Try phrases like “Can’t we put an end to this once and for all?” (Yes!) or “Can you believe how horrible the current situation is?” (No!).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flatter your listener by placing them at the center of your story.\", \"描述\": \"Appeal to your listener’s vanity. Instead of showing the negative implications for a character in your emotional story, place your listener at the heart of your narrative. Explain the consequences they’ll face if they don’t follow your perspective, then describe the positive turnout in a way that churns up their hopes and desires. Help your listener see the reward.\\nLure your listener with flattering compliments to make them feel good about following your lead.\\nMake irresistible offers they won’t be able to refuse, based on their values or vanity.\\nIf you’re trying to get your sister to pick out a different party dress so you can borrow it later, tell her how gorgeous and radiant she looks in the blue sparkly one.\\nIf you want your friend to buy a certain video game so you can play it together, gush about how amazing and unbeatable he is at that type of game.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Relying on Facts and Logic (Logos)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with facts your listener can agree with to get them in an open mindset.\", \"描述\": \"Before getting into the heavy facts and figures, begin with ideas your listener already agrees with. Present these in a way that nudges your listener confirm that they agree. Try framing the general topic as a question your listener can say yes to, and consider ending your points with the rhetorical “Right?”\\nYou could open up your argument with 2 questions like this: “1,500 children attend this school, right?” (Yes, this is a basic fact.) “Do we agree that the lack of after-school support is a problem for these students and our community?” (Yes, this is the topic of the conversation.)\\nYour listener will be nodding along in no time. With this momentum, they’ll be more likely to get on board with your more complex arguments later on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Support your claims with factual evidence.\", \"描述\": \"Once you move past the obvious or noncontroversial points, you’ll need to back up your more controversial claims with proof. Draw quantitative facts, statistics, study results, and other such evidence from reputable sources. Bring visual aids or original source material as additional proof. Try to memorize the most important facts so you can easily bring them up in conversation.\\nTry generating a spreadsheet to show your boss just how profitable your idea will be or quoting a recent study that addresses your topic.\\nPull up a quote for the internet plan you want your roommates to agree to and show them just how affordable to rates are for the service you’d be receiving.\\nIf you place facts and figures right in front of your listener that shows how logical your case is, they’ll find it a lot harder to argue against you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Present logical arguments.\", \"描述\": \"Walk your listener through logically sound and valid arguments. Use inductive reasoning to prove your point. Start by explaining a specific case study and then draw broader conclusions from it. Or try the opposite approach through deductive reasoning. To do this, begin by proving a general fact and then apply it to your specific case. Avoid making logical fallacies, which means using facts to make incorrect conclusions.\\nHere’s how you could use inductive reasoning to prove your point to your parents: “Universities are all encouraging students to study abroad. Look at this brochure our college sent out about the benefits of travel and studying abroad. I think taking that study trip to the Andes would really expand my worldview.”\\nOne logical fallacy to avoid is known as post hoc ergo propter hoc. This involves making an incorrect assumption based on the order of events. For instance, you’d be wrong to argue that the library caused your headache because you went to the library and then developed a headache.\\nAnother fallacy is the slippery slope. This is where you’d say describe a chain of events where the first point seems to lead to the final point. For example: “If you let me stay home from school tomorrow, I’ll be able to practice with the band so we can become rich and famous rockstars.” This implies that staying home will bring you fame and fortune, which isn’t logical or very convincing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Delivering Your Argument\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start the conversation when your listener is in a calm and open mindset.\", \"描述\": \"Timing is everything when it comes to persuading someone. Be sensitive to where your listener is along their journey toward making a decision. Feel free to ask directly. If it’s not the right time yet, focus on maintaining a positive relationship with your listener until they’re more in the mood to make a decision.\\nIf you’re trying to sell someone a couch, chat them up when they're looking at couches, not when they’re in the refrigerator aisle.\\nPay attention to their behaviors and adapt accordingly. If they're spending a lot of time looking at different couches, and they’ve told you they want to buy something this weekend, stick by their side to offer your expertise.\\nIf your prospective customer said they don’t want to buy a couch until next September, don’t harass them as they're walking past toward the exit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a sense of urgency or scarcity to jolt your listener into action.\", \"描述\": \"Use an expiration date on your sales offer to show that the decision has to be made quickly. Tell your friends that there are only a few concert tickets left. Let your reluctant coworker know you’re all heading out to lunch “right now!” and if they don’t act soon they’ll be left behind. Urge your listener to act quickly for fear of missing their chance.\\nIf your listener only has a few moments to think about the decision, they'll have less time to explore and listen to their opposing instincts.\\nInclude calls-to-action like “act now” or “limited time only” in your pitch to get the results you’re looking for.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address counterarguments and defend yourself against them.\", \"描述\": \"Before your listener has a chance to jump in with an opposing view, tell them what they’re already thinking. Be up-front about the opposing viewpoint. Present it in an empathetic way, so your listener feels heard and understood. Then logically argue your defense against it.\\nA strategy like this will not only help your listener connect with you since they feel understood, but it will boost your credibility since you’ll appear to know your subject inside and out.\\nThis is a powerful approach that combines pathos, ethos, and logos all in one.\\nIf you want to go out with friends even when you have a lot of homework, rather than waiting for your dad to say “But what about your homework?” say something like “Ok, I know you’re probably wondering about all the homework I have. But I actually have a plan to do chemistry and English tonight before dinner and study for my history exam during my study hour tomorrow morning.” He’ll be impressed with how well you’ve thought it all out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remain calm while you deliver and defend your argument.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t allow yourself to become overpowered by your emotions. Even if you’re delivering an emotional appeal, keep your feelings and temper in check.\\nNegative energy and frantic yelling aren’t persuasive; this behavior will undermine your authority.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Slow down your speech if your listener agrees, but speed up if they disagree.\", \"描述\": \"If you sense your listener may agree with you, or you notice them nodding along as you present your case, slow down your speech. Give them plenty of time to soak in your evidence and insert their own arguments in support of your case. But if you have a tougher listener who disagrees, run through your arguments at a quick pace so they can’t keep up their critiques.\\nIn conversation, pause to allow someone who agreement with you to articulate their own affirmative viewpoints.\\nDon’t allow someone who disagrees with you to seize control of the conversation.\\nIf you move and speak quickly, a disagreeing listener won’t have much time to process their own counterarguments. They’ll get swept away in what you’re saying and may be overwhelmed into agreeing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be ready to ease off or get more aggressive based on your listener’s reactions.\", \"描述\": \"After you present something persuasive, watch for your listener’s reactions. Observe facial expressions, body language, and even breath. All of these behaviors can tell you what someone is thinking. Avoid sticking to a rigid script; being able to react to your listener's responses can make you much more successful. If you sense your listener starts to get annoyed after you get more direct, soften up your tone and be more empathetic. If they seem distracted or dismissive, try laying down the cold, hard facts in a more direct manner.\\nHeld breathes indicate anticipation while a sharp gasp usually indicated surprise.\\nSquinted eyes indicate doubt or displeasure, as do crossed arms and a cocked head.\\nUpright posture with a forward lean indicates interest.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re writing a persuasive speech for school or getting ready to deliver a public presentation, try out any of these strategies to make your speech more effective.\\n\", \"Studies show that if you nod while you're speaking, people are more likely to agree with you.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,029 | How to Be Photogenic | 1. Having a Photogenic Face
1-1. Clarify your skin.
The focus of most portraits is the face, so make sure that yours is in tip top condition. Modern cameras are able to capture the smallest of changes and textures of skin, which is both a blessing and a curse. Keep your skin clean and smooth by washing, toning, and moisturizing your face before having your photo taken. Doing this should be a daily morning/evening ritual but is especially important before a photoshoot.
If you wear makeup, make sure that your concealer and foundation are smoothly applied and match your skin tone correctly. Blend them slightly down your neck and near your ear lobes to create the most natural look.
Oily skin can ruin a photo by reflecting too much light. Use oil blotting sheets or tissue paper (actual tissue paper, not Kleenex) to dab off excess oil on the T-zone of your face.
Use an exfoliator on your face to slough off any dead skin cells which make your skin appear dull and lackluster in photos.
1-2. Focus on what makes you unique.
One of the characteristics of photogenic people is their confidence in their appearance. Many times we get concerned about something wrong with our face; our freckles, the gap in your teeth, how squinty your eyes get when you smile. Instead of trying to hide those things, embrace them! You will look much more photogenic in your photos that way.
1-3. Show your emotions.
It is easy to spot someone who is photogenic from someone who is posing; the former doesn’t have to fake their emotions. Although getting your photo taken can be nerve-wrecking, don’t let it get in the way of your true feelings. Don’t create the smile you think you need, use your regular smile. The same goes with the shape of your eyes and the curve of your cheeks. The more you allow your natural emotions to show on your face, the better your pictures will look.
Always smile with your teeth, because you would never laugh at a funny joke with your lips together. True smiles show off a toothy grin, not tightly pressed lips. Keep your face natural by allowing a real smile to peak through.
When you are showing emotions your entire face is affected. Although many people associate a look of happiness with just a smile, your eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, and forehead are all affected equally as much. Make sure that you are allowing freedom of movement in your entire face.
1-4. Don’t look the camera straight on.
As the old saying goes, “the camera adds ten pounds.” But it doesn’t have to! Because the camera is using reflected light to convert a 3D object into a 2D image, the shapes of things are flattened and compressed. Looking straight ahead at the camera will show the fullness of your face and remove/reduce any natural shadows. Instead, turn your face slightly to the side to create natural highlights and shadows and slim the shape of your face.
1-5. Adjust the angle of your face.
The angle of your face is tied to the direction you are looking at the camera. Just as how you shouldn’t look at the camera straight on, you also should not tilt your head up when taking photos. This will make your face look larger and get a good shot up the inside of your nose. Tilt your head slightly down and to the side for the most photogenic of looks.
2. Posing Your Body
2-1. Work your assets.
Photogenic people have the magnificent ability of knowing what their assets are and the best way to work them. This goes hand in hand with knowing your physical weaknesses. What parts of your body are the most attractive, and which might be a tad more unflattering in photos? Do what you can to play up your best parts while turning those more negative aspects of your body away from the camera.
2-2. Turn away from the camera.
Facing a camera straight on does the same thing to your body as it does to your face. Your body will become flattened in a photograph, so a shot from the front will show you from the widest angle and make you look extra round. Turn ¾ to show your body from an angle and create shadows and depth in your pose.
To slim your arms, put your hand on your hip and angle your elbow back and away from your body. Although you may feel silly doing it, there is a reason many celebrities adopt this pose - it is ultra flattering!
If you are sitting for the photo, turn so that the camera is at your side rather than directly in front of you. Bend your knees and stagger your legs slightly. If you choose to cross your legs, cross the leg closest to the camera over the top of the other.
2-3. Bend your joints.
How often do you find yourself standing or sitting perfectly straight, with all your joints in line? Probably very rarely or never. Add both movement and a sense of natural poise to your photos by allowing your joints to bend slightly. This means that your elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles should all be comfortably bent. If it can bend, bend it!
2-4. Lean towards the camera.
The way we see things works so that things that are closer are larger while things that are further away are smaller. In order to create the illusion of a small, sleek body, lean into photos slightly with your head first.
2-5. Do what’s comfortable.
All the posing advice in the world can’t make you more photogenic if you aren’t comfortable with the changes. In the end, it is helpful to keep all the posing tricks in mind, but it is best to do whatever comes naturally to your body. Being photogenic means walking the thin line between acting incredibly natural like the camera is not there, and perfectly posing every inch of your body. The best way to reach this happy medium is simply to allow your body to fall naturally into its most comfortable positions.
3. Considering the Photos
3-1. Dress to impress.
It is truly hard to be photogenic if you are wearing your dirty sweatpants and torn-up sneakers. If you know you’re going to have your picture taken, choose outfits that photograph well. Neutral tones and muted colors work best because they simultaneously enhance your natural characteristics without distracting from you in a photo.
Avoid anything that hangs or drapes very loosely on your body, as this will look bulky and large in a photograph. On the other hand, don’t wear anything too tight as the flash from the camera will highlight every little flaw hiding under your clothing.
Don’t wear anything for photos that you wouldn't normally wear in real life. Your goal is to look like yourself at your very best; you can’t look like yourself if you’re wearing something totally out of your comfort zone or style range.
3-2. Find the light source.
The source of light in your photo will greatly dictate the quality of your appearance in the end shot. A light source directly above you will give you dark shadows under your eyes, while one from the side will create bold background lines. Work so that your light source is in front of you and slightly above you. Whenever you can, take your photos in natural light near a window or outside.
The best lighting for photos occurs in the hour after sunrise and the hour before sunset. When you can, try to take your pictures during these times.
Although some photographers can use light metering to add brightness to a dark foreground, it is best to avoid taking pictures with your light source behind you. A light source coming from behind will darken your entire body and ruin a great picture.
3-3. Choose a great location.
Although the seat in your car or in front of your mirror may be the easiest places to perfect your pose and get good lighting, they don’t allow for the most scenic of backgrounds. Being photogenic has a lot to do with working your surroundings in addition to showing off your facial and bodily posing skills. Take photos in a comfortable environment where you are the focus.
Busy restaurants and bars add a lot of noise to the background of a photo, taking the eye off you as the subject. If you must pose in a crowded area, blur the background to keep the viewers eye on you in the foreground.
If you are taking a group photo, try to insert yourself in the center of the group and away from the ends. The two people in the ends of a group shot will always appear the largest and are not often the focus of a picture.
3-4. Don’t be afraid of props.
Although you don’t necessarily want to be tossing around a football or holding eating utensils, adding fun and interesting props to your photo can add interest and highlight your idiosyncrasies. Hold something in your hands, lean against a prop, or incorporate something related to a hobby or activity you enjoy into your photo.
If you love reading, try holding a book casually in your hands. It will force your body into a more natural position and add detail to your portrait.
Don’t use large props or anything that is too distracting in your photos. The goal is for you to appear photogenic with the aid of something small and related. Adding in big props or anything brightly colored will do more harm than good.
3-5. Act confident.
Confidence will show in a photo, and is the key to being photogenic. Even if you don’t feel confident, act like it for the camera. The quality of your appearance in photos will greatly improve with a bit of personal knowledge that you look good, and that your photos will turn out great because of it.
Tips
Take more than one picture before setting the camera down. Even if you feel comfortable with the first, give it a few more shots. Make slight movements between each one. Sometimes, the smallest changes can make the biggest differences.
If taking your own photos, on a webcam, phone camera, digital camera or something else, this takes practice. You'll need to learn the correct angle you want to take it at, so you can move your hand to the position.
Pretend like you're laughing. Often, this creates an effortlessly natural smile. Right before the camera flashes, pretend like you just saw something funny, or you were just told a joke!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having a Photogenic Face\\n1-1. Clarify your skin.\\nThe focus of most portraits is the face, so make sure that yours is in tip top condition. Modern cameras are able to capture the smallest of changes and textures of skin, which is both a blessing and a curse. Keep your skin clean and smooth by washing, toning, and moisturizing your face before having your photo taken. Doing this should be a daily morning/evening ritual but is especially important before a photoshoot.\\nIf you wear makeup, make sure that your concealer and foundation are smoothly applied and match your skin tone correctly. Blend them slightly down your neck and near your ear lobes to create the most natural look.\\nOily skin can ruin a photo by reflecting too much light. Use oil blotting sheets or tissue paper (actual tissue paper, not Kleenex) to dab off excess oil on the T-zone of your face.\\nUse an exfoliator on your face to slough off any dead skin cells which make your skin appear dull and lackluster in photos.\\n1-2. Focus on what makes you unique.\\nOne of the characteristics of photogenic people is their confidence in their appearance. Many times we get concerned about something wrong with our face; our freckles, the gap in your teeth, how squinty your eyes get when you smile. Instead of trying to hide those things, embrace them! You will look much more photogenic in your photos that way.\\n1-3. Show your emotions.\\nIt is easy to spot someone who is photogenic from someone who is posing; the former doesn’t have to fake their emotions. Although getting your photo taken can be nerve-wrecking, don’t let it get in the way of your true feelings. Don’t create the smile you think you need, use your regular smile. The same goes with the shape of your eyes and the curve of your cheeks. The more you allow your natural emotions to show on your face, the better your pictures will look.\\nAlways smile with your teeth, because you would never laugh at a funny joke with your lips together. True smiles show off a toothy grin, not tightly pressed lips. Keep your face natural by allowing a real smile to peak through.\\nWhen you are showing emotions your entire face is affected. Although many people associate a look of happiness with just a smile, your eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, and forehead are all affected equally as much. Make sure that you are allowing freedom of movement in your entire face.\\n1-4. Don’t look the camera straight on.\\nAs the old saying goes, “the camera adds ten pounds.” But it doesn’t have to! Because the camera is using reflected light to convert a 3D object into a 2D image, the shapes of things are flattened and compressed. Looking straight ahead at the camera will show the fullness of your face and remove/reduce any natural shadows. Instead, turn your face slightly to the side to create natural highlights and shadows and slim the shape of your face.\\n1-5. Adjust the angle of your face.\\nThe angle of your face is tied to the direction you are looking at the camera. Just as how you shouldn’t look at the camera straight on, you also should not tilt your head up when taking photos. This will make your face look larger and get a good shot up the inside of your nose. Tilt your head slightly down and to the side for the most photogenic of looks.\\n2. Posing Your Body\\n2-1. Work your assets.\\nPhotogenic people have the magnificent ability of knowing what their assets are and the best way to work them. This goes hand in hand with knowing your physical weaknesses. What parts of your body are the most attractive, and which might be a tad more unflattering in photos? Do what you can to play up your best parts while turning those more negative aspects of your body away from the camera.\\n2-2. Turn away from the camera.\\nFacing a camera straight on does the same thing to your body as it does to your face. Your body will become flattened in a photograph, so a shot from the front will show you from the widest angle and make you look extra round. Turn ¾ to show your body from an angle and create shadows and depth in your pose.\\nTo slim your arms, put your hand on your hip and angle your elbow back and away from your body. Although you may feel silly doing it, there is a reason many celebrities adopt this pose - it is ultra flattering!\\nIf you are sitting for the photo, turn so that the camera is at your side rather than directly in front of you. Bend your knees and stagger your legs slightly. If you choose to cross your legs, cross the leg closest to the camera over the top of the other.\\n2-3. Bend your joints.\\nHow often do you find yourself standing or sitting perfectly straight, with all your joints in line? Probably very rarely or never. Add both movement and a sense of natural poise to your photos by allowing your joints to bend slightly. This means that your elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles should all be comfortably bent. If it can bend, bend it!\\n2-4. Lean towards the camera.\\nThe way we see things works so that things that are closer are larger while things that are further away are smaller. In order to create the illusion of a small, sleek body, lean into photos slightly with your head first.\\n2-5. Do what’s comfortable.\\nAll the posing advice in the world can’t make you more photogenic if you aren’t comfortable with the changes. In the end, it is helpful to keep all the posing tricks in mind, but it is best to do whatever comes naturally to your body. Being photogenic means walking the thin line between acting incredibly natural like the camera is not there, and perfectly posing every inch of your body. The best way to reach this happy medium is simply to allow your body to fall naturally into its most comfortable positions.\\n3. Considering the Photos\\n3-1. Dress to impress.\\nIt is truly hard to be photogenic if you are wearing your dirty sweatpants and torn-up sneakers. If you know you’re going to have your picture taken, choose outfits that photograph well. Neutral tones and muted colors work best because they simultaneously enhance your natural characteristics without distracting from you in a photo.\\nAvoid anything that hangs or drapes very loosely on your body, as this will look bulky and large in a photograph. On the other hand, don’t wear anything too tight as the flash from the camera will highlight every little flaw hiding under your clothing.\\nDon’t wear anything for photos that you wouldn't normally wear in real life. Your goal is to look like yourself at your very best; you can’t look like yourself if you’re wearing something totally out of your comfort zone or style range.\\n3-2. Find the light source.\\nThe source of light in your photo will greatly dictate the quality of your appearance in the end shot. A light source directly above you will give you dark shadows under your eyes, while one from the side will create bold background lines. Work so that your light source is in front of you and slightly above you. Whenever you can, take your photos in natural light near a window or outside.\\nThe best lighting for photos occurs in the hour after sunrise and the hour before sunset. When you can, try to take your pictures during these times.\\nAlthough some photographers can use light metering to add brightness to a dark foreground, it is best to avoid taking pictures with your light source behind you. A light source coming from behind will darken your entire body and ruin a great picture.\\n3-3. Choose a great location.\\nAlthough the seat in your car or in front of your mirror may be the easiest places to perfect your pose and get good lighting, they don’t allow for the most scenic of backgrounds. Being photogenic has a lot to do with working your surroundings in addition to showing off your facial and bodily posing skills. Take photos in a comfortable environment where you are the focus.\\nBusy restaurants and bars add a lot of noise to the background of a photo, taking the eye off you as the subject. If you must pose in a crowded area, blur the background to keep the viewers eye on you in the foreground.\\nIf you are taking a group photo, try to insert yourself in the center of the group and away from the ends. The two people in the ends of a group shot will always appear the largest and are not often the focus of a picture.\\n3-4. Don’t be afraid of props.\\nAlthough you don’t necessarily want to be tossing around a football or holding eating utensils, adding fun and interesting props to your photo can add interest and highlight your idiosyncrasies. Hold something in your hands, lean against a prop, or incorporate something related to a hobby or activity you enjoy into your photo.\\nIf you love reading, try holding a book casually in your hands. It will force your body into a more natural position and add detail to your portrait.\\nDon’t use large props or anything that is too distracting in your photos. The goal is for you to appear photogenic with the aid of something small and related. Adding in big props or anything brightly colored will do more harm than good.\\n3-5. Act confident.\\nConfidence will show in a photo, and is the key to being photogenic. Even if you don’t feel confident, act like it for the camera. The quality of your appearance in photos will greatly improve with a bit of personal knowledge that you look good, and that your photos will turn out great because of it.\\nTips\\nTake more than one picture before setting the camera down. Even if you feel comfortable with the first, give it a few more shots. Make slight movements between each one. Sometimes, the smallest changes can make the biggest differences.\\nIf taking your own photos, on a webcam, phone camera, digital camera or something else, this takes practice. You'll need to learn the correct angle you want to take it at, so you can move your hand to the position.\\nPretend like you're laughing. Often, this creates an effortlessly natural smile. Right before the camera flashes, pretend like you just saw something funny, or you were just told a joke!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Having your photo taken can seem like a frightening endeavor, especially when it seems that you never look quite as good in portraits as you do in reality. This is a problem faced by many people, but is quite easy to remedy. Being photogenic is not an inborn talent, but an acquired skill that can be learned through practice. Try these methods of posing and tips for becoming photogenic and in no time be the model-esque friend all your buddies brag about.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having a Photogenic Face\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Clarify your skin.\", \"描述\": \"The focus of most portraits is the face, so make sure that yours is in tip top condition. Modern cameras are able to capture the smallest of changes and textures of skin, which is both a blessing and a curse. Keep your skin clean and smooth by washing, toning, and moisturizing your face before having your photo taken. Doing this should be a daily morning/evening ritual but is especially important before a photoshoot.\\nIf you wear makeup, make sure that your concealer and foundation are smoothly applied and match your skin tone correctly. Blend them slightly down your neck and near your ear lobes to create the most natural look.\\nOily skin can ruin a photo by reflecting too much light. Use oil blotting sheets or tissue paper (actual tissue paper, not Kleenex) to dab off excess oil on the T-zone of your face.\\nUse an exfoliator on your face to slough off any dead skin cells which make your skin appear dull and lackluster in photos.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on what makes you unique.\", \"描述\": \"One of the characteristics of photogenic people is their confidence in their appearance. Many times we get concerned about something wrong with our face; our freckles, the gap in your teeth, how squinty your eyes get when you smile. Instead of trying to hide those things, embrace them! You will look much more photogenic in your photos that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your emotions.\", \"描述\": \"It is easy to spot someone who is photogenic from someone who is posing; the former doesn’t have to fake their emotions. Although getting your photo taken can be nerve-wrecking, don’t let it get in the way of your true feelings. Don’t create the smile you think you need, use your regular smile. The same goes with the shape of your eyes and the curve of your cheeks. The more you allow your natural emotions to show on your face, the better your pictures will look.\\nAlways smile with your teeth, because you would never laugh at a funny joke with your lips together. True smiles show off a toothy grin, not tightly pressed lips. Keep your face natural by allowing a real smile to peak through.\\nWhen you are showing emotions your entire face is affected. Although many people associate a look of happiness with just a smile, your eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, and forehead are all affected equally as much. Make sure that you are allowing freedom of movement in your entire face.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t look the camera straight on.\", \"描述\": \"As the old saying goes, “the camera adds ten pounds.” But it doesn’t have to! Because the camera is using reflected light to convert a 3D object into a 2D image, the shapes of things are flattened and compressed. Looking straight ahead at the camera will show the fullness of your face and remove/reduce any natural shadows. Instead, turn your face slightly to the side to create natural highlights and shadows and slim the shape of your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Adjust the angle of your face.\", \"描述\": \"The angle of your face is tied to the direction you are looking at the camera. Just as how you shouldn’t look at the camera straight on, you also should not tilt your head up when taking photos. This will make your face look larger and get a good shot up the inside of your nose. Tilt your head slightly down and to the side for the most photogenic of looks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Posing Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work your assets.\", \"描述\": \"Photogenic people have the magnificent ability of knowing what their assets are and the best way to work them. This goes hand in hand with knowing your physical weaknesses. What parts of your body are the most attractive, and which might be a tad more unflattering in photos? Do what you can to play up your best parts while turning those more negative aspects of your body away from the camera.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn away from the camera.\", \"描述\": \"Facing a camera straight on does the same thing to your body as it does to your face. Your body will become flattened in a photograph, so a shot from the front will show you from the widest angle and make you look extra round. Turn ¾ to show your body from an angle and create shadows and depth in your pose.\\nTo slim your arms, put your hand on your hip and angle your elbow back and away from your body. Although you may feel silly doing it, there is a reason many celebrities adopt this pose - it is ultra flattering!\\nIf you are sitting for the photo, turn so that the camera is at your side rather than directly in front of you. Bend your knees and stagger your legs slightly. If you choose to cross your legs, cross the leg closest to the camera over the top of the other.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bend your joints.\", \"描述\": \"How often do you find yourself standing or sitting perfectly straight, with all your joints in line? Probably very rarely or never. Add both movement and a sense of natural poise to your photos by allowing your joints to bend slightly. This means that your elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles should all be comfortably bent. If it can bend, bend it!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lean towards the camera.\", \"描述\": \"The way we see things works so that things that are closer are larger while things that are further away are smaller. In order to create the illusion of a small, sleek body, lean into photos slightly with your head first.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do what’s comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"All the posing advice in the world can’t make you more photogenic if you aren’t comfortable with the changes. In the end, it is helpful to keep all the posing tricks in mind, but it is best to do whatever comes naturally to your body. Being photogenic means walking the thin line between acting incredibly natural like the camera is not there, and perfectly posing every inch of your body. The best way to reach this happy medium is simply to allow your body to fall naturally into its most comfortable positions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Considering the Photos\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress to impress.\", \"描述\": \"It is truly hard to be photogenic if you are wearing your dirty sweatpants and torn-up sneakers. If you know you’re going to have your picture taken, choose outfits that photograph well. Neutral tones and muted colors work best because they simultaneously enhance your natural characteristics without distracting from you in a photo.\\nAvoid anything that hangs or drapes very loosely on your body, as this will look bulky and large in a photograph. On the other hand, don’t wear anything too tight as the flash from the camera will highlight every little flaw hiding under your clothing.\\nDon’t wear anything for photos that you wouldn't normally wear in real life. Your goal is to look like yourself at your very best; you can’t look like yourself if you’re wearing something totally out of your comfort zone or style range.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find the light source.\", \"描述\": \"The source of light in your photo will greatly dictate the quality of your appearance in the end shot. A light source directly above you will give you dark shadows under your eyes, while one from the side will create bold background lines. Work so that your light source is in front of you and slightly above you. Whenever you can, take your photos in natural light near a window or outside.\\nThe best lighting for photos occurs in the hour after sunrise and the hour before sunset. When you can, try to take your pictures during these times.\\nAlthough some photographers can use light metering to add brightness to a dark foreground, it is best to avoid taking pictures with your light source behind you. A light source coming from behind will darken your entire body and ruin a great picture.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose a great location.\", \"描述\": \"Although the seat in your car or in front of your mirror may be the easiest places to perfect your pose and get good lighting, they don’t allow for the most scenic of backgrounds. Being photogenic has a lot to do with working your surroundings in addition to showing off your facial and bodily posing skills. Take photos in a comfortable environment where you are the focus.\\nBusy restaurants and bars add a lot of noise to the background of a photo, taking the eye off you as the subject. If you must pose in a crowded area, blur the background to keep the viewers eye on you in the foreground.\\nIf you are taking a group photo, try to insert yourself in the center of the group and away from the ends. The two people in the ends of a group shot will always appear the largest and are not often the focus of a picture.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid of props.\", \"描述\": \"Although you don’t necessarily want to be tossing around a football or holding eating utensils, adding fun and interesting props to your photo can add interest and highlight your idiosyncrasies. Hold something in your hands, lean against a prop, or incorporate something related to a hobby or activity you enjoy into your photo.\\nIf you love reading, try holding a book casually in your hands. It will force your body into a more natural position and add detail to your portrait.\\nDon’t use large props or anything that is too distracting in your photos. The goal is for you to appear photogenic with the aid of something small and related. Adding in big props or anything brightly colored will do more harm than good.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Act confident.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence will show in a photo, and is the key to being photogenic. Even if you don’t feel confident, act like it for the camera. The quality of your appearance in photos will greatly improve with a bit of personal knowledge that you look good, and that your photos will turn out great because of it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take more than one picture before setting the camera down. Even if you feel comfortable with the first, give it a few more shots. Make slight movements between each one. Sometimes, the smallest changes can make the biggest differences.\\n\", \"If taking your own photos, on a webcam, phone camera, digital camera or something else, this takes practice. You'll need to learn the correct angle you want to take it at, so you can move your hand to the position.\\n\", \"Pretend like you're laughing. Often, this creates an effortlessly natural smile. Right before the camera flashes, pretend like you just saw something funny, or you were just told a joke!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,030 | How to Be Photogenic (Men) | 1. Accentuating Your Face
1-1. Smile genuinely for the camera.
Try not to show your bottom teeth, as it can bring extra attention to your mouth and make it appear larger in photos. Aside from that, don’t think too hard about it and just try to show your most genuine happy face. If you still find yourself smiling awkwardly in front of the camera, try mouthing the word “Thursday” rather than “cheese”, as it creates a more realistic smiling mouth shape.
If you want to show your most genuine laughing smile, tell yourself a joke or think of something funny before the photo is taken, and your face will light up naturally!
Consciously putting your tongue behind your teeth when you smile can help to make your smile appear more full and more genuine in photos.
1-2. Tidy up your hair and clean up your facial hair.
It’s important to be groomed for photos, and for looking great in day to day life as well. Make sure your facial hair is lined up neatly and use an electric razor to shave off the any ragged straggler hairs.
If you have long hair, try to keep it away from your face, and consider putting it up into a ponytail or trendy man bun so as not to get in the way of your features.
If you know your picture is going to be taken in the future, consider getting a haircut touch up to boost your confidence in your look.
1-3. Look away from the camera to show your side profile.
Facing the camera head-on can make your jawline appear different than it might in real life. Turn your head about 10 to 15 degrees away from the camera - your chin and jawline will appear much stronger, and you will have a candid look in the photo.
You can tilt your head down slightly too for a similar effect. This helps to bring focus away from your face and highlights your chin.
1-4. Avoid looking directly into the lens of the camera in photos.
Candid-style photography can make the subject feel more mysterious and unrevealing. Whether you are facing the camera or looking away slightly, averting your gaze from the camera lens can do wonders to make you look more "in the moment" in a photo and bring the viewer's attention to features other than your eyes.
1-5. Take care of your skin on a regular basis.
Skincare is a habit men tend to pass up in favor of looking rugged, but it is important to have a well-washed face and to pay attention to blemishes and marks. In the modern era of HD cameras in everyone's pocket, even minor issues can show up more prominently in a photo.
Consider buying a daily face wash or pay more attention to scrubbing your face in the shower each and every day. You'll amaze yourself with how much your skin condition improves in just a few weeks.
2. Paying Attention to Your Style
2-1. Pick out clothes that match your appearance.
Taking pictures with a white t-shirt, cargo shorts, and velcro sandals won’t do you any favors in the photogenic game. Try to find clothes that go well with clothes you already own, and don’t be afraid to try something different. Sometimes, variety is the spice of life.
Clothes can be the easiest way to improve your appearance in general, but will not always be enough to make you photogenic.
Wearing clothes that make you feel confident and handsome is more important than picking out the trendiest styles.
2-2. Choose colors that accentuate your features.
If you have red hair, for example, you should try to avoid green and blue, as these colors clash with orange, while colors like brown and grey don’t distract from your colorful hair. If you have light skin, dark colors can work well to contrast your complexion, whereas if you have dark skin, light colors can create a similar effect.
White clothes and lighter colors tend to make their wearer appear more filled out, and are recommended for skinny and thin men.
Black clothes and darker colors have a slimming effect, and are recommended for plus-sized and larger men.
2-3. Test new looks and practice posing in the mirror, no one's watching!
If you end up buying a new outfit, getting a different haircut, or just want to test out a couple of different expressions and poses in the mirror, see how your look comes together yourself before bringing it out into the world.
3. Perfecting Your Camera Pose
3-1. Stand confidently with your shoulders back.
Stand as tall as you are able to, and push your chest out slightly with your shoulders back. This makes you appear taller but also stronger in photos, as a prominent chest and correct standing posture can convey a sense of confidence.
Having correct posture is essential to appearing confident and photogenic on camera. Practice every day to improve your posture, not just for the camera, but for your own physical health as well.
3-2. Don’t stand too close to the camera in group photos.
In group photos, the person standing in the front of will always appear to be much larger proportionally than their friends, even if this is not the case.
Alternatively, if you are a smaller person, standing closer to the front can make you appear more prominently in the photo. A larger person should always aim to be in the back.
3-3. Take photos from above whenever possible.
Ask the person taking the photo to take it standing up while you are seated. Taking photos from below can make people seem huge and make your neck seem fat, while photos from above can reduce this and bring attention to your jawline and chin.
If you are taking a selfie, don’t take it straight on. Instead, lift the phone slightly above your eyeline and tilt your head towards the camera slightly for the same effect.
3-4. Try to anticipate the camera click, and blink beforehand.
Blinking during photos is the number 1 way to ruin your camera presence. Try to blink a few times a few seconds before everybody seems ready for the photo, and you can save yourself both time and embarrassment by not having to take another shot.
Tips
Go over older pictures of you and be critical of your appearance. Did you smile too widely in one, or start getting a glazed-over look in another? Pay attention to the things you can improve and slowly take steps to make your future photos the best they can be.
Warnings
New clothes, haircuts, and looks won’t always be enough for you to feel photogenic every time. The real secret is having the self confidence to own your look, whatever it may be, and continuously make adjustments to yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accentuating Your Face\\n1-1. Smile genuinely for the camera.\\nTry not to show your bottom teeth, as it can bring extra attention to your mouth and make it appear larger in photos. Aside from that, don’t think too hard about it and just try to show your most genuine happy face. If you still find yourself smiling awkwardly in front of the camera, try mouthing the word “Thursday” rather than “cheese”, as it creates a more realistic smiling mouth shape.\\nIf you want to show your most genuine laughing smile, tell yourself a joke or think of something funny before the photo is taken, and your face will light up naturally!\\nConsciously putting your tongue behind your teeth when you smile can help to make your smile appear more full and more genuine in photos.\\n1-2. Tidy up your hair and clean up your facial hair.\\nIt’s important to be groomed for photos, and for looking great in day to day life as well. Make sure your facial hair is lined up neatly and use an electric razor to shave off the any ragged straggler hairs.\\nIf you have long hair, try to keep it away from your face, and consider putting it up into a ponytail or trendy man bun so as not to get in the way of your features.\\nIf you know your picture is going to be taken in the future, consider getting a haircut touch up to boost your confidence in your look.\\n1-3. Look away from the camera to show your side profile.\\nFacing the camera head-on can make your jawline appear different than it might in real life. Turn your head about 10 to 15 degrees away from the camera - your chin and jawline will appear much stronger, and you will have a candid look in the photo.\\nYou can tilt your head down slightly too for a similar effect. This helps to bring focus away from your face and highlights your chin.\\n1-4. Avoid looking directly into the lens of the camera in photos.\\nCandid-style photography can make the subject feel more mysterious and unrevealing. Whether you are facing the camera or looking away slightly, averting your gaze from the camera lens can do wonders to make you look more \\\"in the moment\\\" in a photo and bring the viewer's attention to features other than your eyes.\\n1-5. Take care of your skin on a regular basis.\\nSkincare is a habit men tend to pass up in favor of looking rugged, but it is important to have a well-washed face and to pay attention to blemishes and marks. In the modern era of HD cameras in everyone's pocket, even minor issues can show up more prominently in a photo.\\nConsider buying a daily face wash or pay more attention to scrubbing your face in the shower each and every day. You'll amaze yourself with how much your skin condition improves in just a few weeks.\\n2. Paying Attention to Your Style\\n2-1. Pick out clothes that match your appearance.\\nTaking pictures with a white t-shirt, cargo shorts, and velcro sandals won’t do you any favors in the photogenic game. Try to find clothes that go well with clothes you already own, and don’t be afraid to try something different. Sometimes, variety is the spice of life.\\nClothes can be the easiest way to improve your appearance in general, but will not always be enough to make you photogenic.\\nWearing clothes that make you feel confident and handsome is more important than picking out the trendiest styles.\\n2-2. Choose colors that accentuate your features.\\nIf you have red hair, for example, you should try to avoid green and blue, as these colors clash with orange, while colors like brown and grey don’t distract from your colorful hair. If you have light skin, dark colors can work well to contrast your complexion, whereas if you have dark skin, light colors can create a similar effect.\\nWhite clothes and lighter colors tend to make their wearer appear more filled out, and are recommended for skinny and thin men.\\nBlack clothes and darker colors have a slimming effect, and are recommended for plus-sized and larger men.\\n2-3. Test new looks and practice posing in the mirror, no one's watching!\\nIf you end up buying a new outfit, getting a different haircut, or just want to test out a couple of different expressions and poses in the mirror, see how your look comes together yourself before bringing it out into the world.\\n3. Perfecting Your Camera Pose\\n3-1. Stand confidently with your shoulders back.\\nStand as tall as you are able to, and push your chest out slightly with your shoulders back. This makes you appear taller but also stronger in photos, as a prominent chest and correct standing posture can convey a sense of confidence.\\nHaving correct posture is essential to appearing confident and photogenic on camera. Practice every day to improve your posture, not just for the camera, but for your own physical health as well.\\n3-2. Don’t stand too close to the camera in group photos.\\nIn group photos, the person standing in the front of will always appear to be much larger proportionally than their friends, even if this is not the case.\\nAlternatively, if you are a smaller person, standing closer to the front can make you appear more prominently in the photo. A larger person should always aim to be in the back.\\n3-3. Take photos from above whenever possible.\\nAsk the person taking the photo to take it standing up while you are seated. Taking photos from below can make people seem huge and make your neck seem fat, while photos from above can reduce this and bring attention to your jawline and chin.\\nIf you are taking a selfie, don’t take it straight on. Instead, lift the phone slightly above your eyeline and tilt your head towards the camera slightly for the same effect.\\n3-4. Try to anticipate the camera click, and blink beforehand.\\nBlinking during photos is the number 1 way to ruin your camera presence. Try to blink a few times a few seconds before everybody seems ready for the photo, and you can save yourself both time and embarrassment by not having to take another shot.\\nTips\\nGo over older pictures of you and be critical of your appearance. Did you smile too widely in one, or start getting a glazed-over look in another? Pay attention to the things you can improve and slowly take steps to make your future photos the best they can be.\\nWarnings\\nNew clothes, haircuts, and looks won’t always be enough for you to feel photogenic every time. The real secret is having the self confidence to own your look, whatever it may be, and continuously make adjustments to yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Looking good in photos is tough, for men just as much as women. It's not a great feeling to look back on a photo that didn’t capture your good side, but by paying a little extra attention to your facial expressions, your camera pose, and your general appearance, you can make yourself stand out in every photo and look good doing it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accentuating Your Face\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile genuinely for the camera.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to show your bottom teeth, as it can bring extra attention to your mouth and make it appear larger in photos. Aside from that, don’t think too hard about it and just try to show your most genuine happy face. If you still find yourself smiling awkwardly in front of the camera, try mouthing the word “Thursday” rather than “cheese”, as it creates a more realistic smiling mouth shape.\\nIf you want to show your most genuine laughing smile, tell yourself a joke or think of something funny before the photo is taken, and your face will light up naturally!\\nConsciously putting your tongue behind your teeth when you smile can help to make your smile appear more full and more genuine in photos.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tidy up your hair and clean up your facial hair.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to be groomed for photos, and for looking great in day to day life as well. Make sure your facial hair is lined up neatly and use an electric razor to shave off the any ragged straggler hairs.\\nIf you have long hair, try to keep it away from your face, and consider putting it up into a ponytail or trendy man bun so as not to get in the way of your features.\\nIf you know your picture is going to be taken in the future, consider getting a haircut touch up to boost your confidence in your look.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look away from the camera to show your side profile.\", \"描述\": \"Facing the camera head-on can make your jawline appear different than it might in real life. Turn your head about 10 to 15 degrees away from the camera - your chin and jawline will appear much stronger, and you will have a candid look in the photo.\\nYou can tilt your head down slightly too for a similar effect. This helps to bring focus away from your face and highlights your chin.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid looking directly into the lens of the camera in photos.\", \"描述\": \"Candid-style photography can make the subject feel more mysterious and unrevealing. Whether you are facing the camera or looking away slightly, averting your gaze from the camera lens can do wonders to make you look more \\\"in the moment\\\" in a photo and bring the viewer's attention to features other than your eyes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take care of your skin on a regular basis.\", \"描述\": \"Skincare is a habit men tend to pass up in favor of looking rugged, but it is important to have a well-washed face and to pay attention to blemishes and marks. In the modern era of HD cameras in everyone's pocket, even minor issues can show up more prominently in a photo.\\nConsider buying a daily face wash or pay more attention to scrubbing your face in the shower each and every day. You'll amaze yourself with how much your skin condition improves in just a few weeks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Paying Attention to Your Style\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick out clothes that match your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Taking pictures with a white t-shirt, cargo shorts, and velcro sandals won’t do you any favors in the photogenic game. Try to find clothes that go well with clothes you already own, and don’t be afraid to try something different. Sometimes, variety is the spice of life.\\nClothes can be the easiest way to improve your appearance in general, but will not always be enough to make you photogenic.\\nWearing clothes that make you feel confident and handsome is more important than picking out the trendiest styles.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose colors that accentuate your features.\", \"描述\": \"If you have red hair, for example, you should try to avoid green and blue, as these colors clash with orange, while colors like brown and grey don’t distract from your colorful hair. If you have light skin, dark colors can work well to contrast your complexion, whereas if you have dark skin, light colors can create a similar effect.\\nWhite clothes and lighter colors tend to make their wearer appear more filled out, and are recommended for skinny and thin men.\\nBlack clothes and darker colors have a slimming effect, and are recommended for plus-sized and larger men.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Test new looks and practice posing in the mirror, no one's watching!\", \"描述\": \"If you end up buying a new outfit, getting a different haircut, or just want to test out a couple of different expressions and poses in the mirror, see how your look comes together yourself before bringing it out into the world.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perfecting Your Camera Pose\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stand confidently with your shoulders back.\", \"描述\": \"Stand as tall as you are able to, and push your chest out slightly with your shoulders back. This makes you appear taller but also stronger in photos, as a prominent chest and correct standing posture can convey a sense of confidence.\\nHaving correct posture is essential to appearing confident and photogenic on camera. Practice every day to improve your posture, not just for the camera, but for your own physical health as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t stand too close to the camera in group photos.\", \"描述\": \"In group photos, the person standing in the front of will always appear to be much larger proportionally than their friends, even if this is not the case.\\nAlternatively, if you are a smaller person, standing closer to the front can make you appear more prominently in the photo. A larger person should always aim to be in the back.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take photos from above whenever possible.\", \"描述\": \"Ask the person taking the photo to take it standing up while you are seated. Taking photos from below can make people seem huge and make your neck seem fat, while photos from above can reduce this and bring attention to your jawline and chin.\\nIf you are taking a selfie, don’t take it straight on. Instead, lift the phone slightly above your eyeline and tilt your head towards the camera slightly for the same effect.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try to anticipate the camera click, and blink beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Blinking during photos is the number 1 way to ruin your camera presence. Try to blink a few times a few seconds before everybody seems ready for the photo, and you can save yourself both time and embarrassment by not having to take another shot.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Go over older pictures of you and be critical of your appearance. Did you smile too widely in one, or start getting a glazed-over look in another? Pay attention to the things you can improve and slowly take steps to make your future photos the best they can be.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"New clothes, haircuts, and looks won’t always be enough for you to feel photogenic every time. The real secret is having the self confidence to own your look, whatever it may be, and continuously make adjustments to yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,031 | How to Be Physically Fit | 1. Do aerobic exercise.
Aerobic exercise keeps your circulatory and respiratory systems fit.
Your circulatory and respiratory systems deliver oxygen and nutrients throughout your body as well as remove waste. Keeping these systems fit and functioning requires cardiovascular exercise that raises your heart rate, such as walking, running, or swimming. Spend 20-30 minutes on this kind of exercise every day.
Do this exercise in addition to your regular physical activity. For example, even if you spend several hours gardening, you still want to make time for a 20-minute walk or some other exercise.
The best way to maintain this habit is to do something you enjoy doing. If you like playing soccer, join a community league and do drills on the days you don't have a game.
Swimming is perhaps the best all-around workout. It's low impact, so it's great if you have painful or stiff joints.
2. Strengthen your core.
Core strength helps prevent back pain and balance issues as you age.
Work core exercises into your exercise routine at least 2 or 3 days a week to keep the muscles in your midsection strong. You can do basic exercises, such as crunches and planks, but you might also try yoga or pilates.
Tai chi is another option. This Chinese martial art not only strengthens your core but also improves balance and mental focus. Community classes are often available at little to no cost.
3. Lift light weights for endurance.
Fit muscles can perform repeated contractions for a longer period.
Doing more repetitions with lighter weights helps build your muscular endurance. Start with a weight that makes your muscles feel tired after 10-12 repetitions. Learn and use the correct form for weight lifting exercises so you can do them properly. This ensures you get the full benefit and also lessens the risk of injury.
Challenge your muscles by adding weight gradually. If you stay with the same weight, you won't get much benefit out of the exercise after a few weeks.
4. Build strength with heavy weights.
Target different muscle groups in each session for consistent strength.
Lighter weights build endurance, but it takes fewer repetitions with heavier weights to increase the strength in your muscles. Start with the lowest weight that exhausts your muscles after 2 to 5 repetitions and gradually increase it.
Your muscles need at least 48 hours to recover after a good workout—schedule your strength training sessions accordingly.
You can typically maintain physical fitness with 2 or 3 sessions a week.
5. Stretch for flexibility.
Stretches help maintain your full range of motion.
Flexibility is incredibly important to your basic physical fitness, especially as you age. Because aerobic exercises and strength training naturally cause your muscles to contract and stiffen, stretch before and after you exercise as well.
Starting a basic yoga practice is a great way to maintain your flexibility. Once you've learned a few poses, you can use them as warmup or cool-down stretches after exercise as well.
Breathe freely and deeply through stretches. If you feel any pain or tension, stop. Stretches should never hurt.
6. Eat nutritional foods.
Proper nutrition keeps you healthy and improves your brain function.
The ideal diet includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Studies show a Mediterranean diet might be the healthiest eating style.
Portion control is also important. Some foods you can eat without having to worry about the quantity. But in general, get in the habit of putting healthy portions on your plate and not returning for seconds.
Eat fast food and sugary foods and drinks in moderation. These things are fine as an occasional treat but don't help your fitness when they're a regular part of your diet.
7. Limit consumption of alcohol and drugs.
Alcohol and drugs can endanger your physical and mental health.
Drinking alcohol contributes to poor physical health and can cause heart problems, especially as you age. Overuse or misuse of other drugs can also cause serious health problems and lead to anxiety and depression. If you drink regularly, try to cut back gradually—every little bit helps.
Limit drinking to one or two drinks once or twice a week. If you have difficulty with this, it might be better for you to stop drinking entirely.
If you smoke, make a plan to quit. Quitting smoking improves your physical fitness and lowers your risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke, and lung disease. It can also add years to your life expectancy!
8. Drink water to stay hydrated.
Plain water is your best bet to keep your body hydrated.
Every part of your body needs water to function properly. While you do get some water from the foods you eat as well as from other drinks, make plain water your go-to. Your body uses it more efficiently.
The specific amount of water you need to stay hydrated varies depending on your body size and activity level.
Your urine is a good indication of your hydration level—if it's a dark yellow or amber color, you need more water.
Always drink water before, during, and after a workout to help recover the water your body loses through sweat.
Keep a bottle of water with you so you always have some handy. This will make it easier to remember to take small sips of water throughout the day.
9. Stay active throughout the day.
Try to be active for a total of at least an hour over the course of the day.
Leading a sedentary lifestyle does great damage to your physical fitness. Even if you exercise regularly, you won't get the full benefit of that exercise if you're sedentary the rest of the time. Luckily, it is pretty easy to sneak activity into your day. Here are some ideas:
Take the stairs instead of the elevator
Work in the yard, gardening, mowing, or raking leaves
Tidy up your home
Wash and wax your car by hand
Walk somewhere instead of driving
10. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.
A good night's sleep helps restore energy and repair damage.
A consistent sleep pattern will really help boost your physical health. Start winding down about an hour before you plan to go to bed—turn off the screens and read a book or listen to relaxing music. Try to go to bed at around the same time every night and wake up at around the same time every morning. This helps your body's circadian rhythm adjust so when it's time to go to bed, you'll actually be tired.
Keep the room where you sleep quiet and dark. Having a light or the TV on makes it harder to go to sleep and fall into a deep sleep.
If you're having a hard time going to sleep, get up and do something else for a few minutes until you feel tired. Tossing and turning in bed will only make things worse.
Talk to your doctor if you have a recurring problem falling to sleep. They might recommend a sleep aid to help.
11. Spend time with friends and family.
Strong connections with others help sustain your mental health.
Stress and your general mood have a big effect on your overall health. It's a big part of physical fitness, even if it's often overlooked. Having loving relationships keeps you from being isolated, which can put you at higher risk for depression and other health problems.
If you can exercise or do other physical activities with friends or family members, you can effectively kill two birds with one stone. Their support will also really motivate you!
Hobbies are another important part of mental health. Sharing your hobbies with others helps build friendship and camaraderie.
12. Get regular medical checkups.
See your doctor at least once a year.
Regular checkups help prevent health problems because your doctor can catch warning signs early. If you have a chronic health condition, you might need to see your doctor (or other specialists) more often.
Seeing your doctor regularly establishes a regular relationship with them. If you're used to seeing them, you'll be more comfortable asking them questions.
Warnings
Talk to your doctor before starting any new diet or exercise program. They'll help you do it safely. This is especially important if you have any chronic medical conditions.[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
Health.gov
Online collection of health and fitness standards set by the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion
Go to source
"Fitness" is an individual quality that varies depending on your age, sex, and heredity—things you can't change or control.[17]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Do aerobic exercise.\\nAerobic exercise keeps your circulatory and respiratory systems fit.\\nYour circulatory and respiratory systems deliver oxygen and nutrients throughout your body as well as remove waste. Keeping these systems fit and functioning requires cardiovascular exercise that raises your heart rate, such as walking, running, or swimming. Spend 20-30 minutes on this kind of exercise every day.\\nDo this exercise in addition to your regular physical activity. For example, even if you spend several hours gardening, you still want to make time for a 20-minute walk or some other exercise.\\nThe best way to maintain this habit is to do something you enjoy doing. If you like playing soccer, join a community league and do drills on the days you don't have a game.\\nSwimming is perhaps the best all-around workout. It's low impact, so it's great if you have painful or stiff joints.\\n2. Strengthen your core.\\nCore strength helps prevent back pain and balance issues as you age.\\nWork core exercises into your exercise routine at least 2 or 3 days a week to keep the muscles in your midsection strong. You can do basic exercises, such as crunches and planks, but you might also try yoga or pilates.\\nTai chi is another option. This Chinese martial art not only strengthens your core but also improves balance and mental focus. Community classes are often available at little to no cost.\\n3. Lift light weights for endurance.\\nFit muscles can perform repeated contractions for a longer period.\\nDoing more repetitions with lighter weights helps build your muscular endurance. Start with a weight that makes your muscles feel tired after 10-12 repetitions. Learn and use the correct form for weight lifting exercises so you can do them properly. This ensures you get the full benefit and also lessens the risk of injury.\\nChallenge your muscles by adding weight gradually. If you stay with the same weight, you won't get much benefit out of the exercise after a few weeks.\\n4. Build strength with heavy weights.\\nTarget different muscle groups in each session for consistent strength.\\nLighter weights build endurance, but it takes fewer repetitions with heavier weights to increase the strength in your muscles. Start with the lowest weight that exhausts your muscles after 2 to 5 repetitions and gradually increase it.\\nYour muscles need at least 48 hours to recover after a good workout—schedule your strength training sessions accordingly.\\nYou can typically maintain physical fitness with 2 or 3 sessions a week.\\n5. Stretch for flexibility.\\nStretches help maintain your full range of motion.\\nFlexibility is incredibly important to your basic physical fitness, especially as you age. Because aerobic exercises and strength training naturally cause your muscles to contract and stiffen, stretch before and after you exercise as well.\\nStarting a basic yoga practice is a great way to maintain your flexibility. Once you've learned a few poses, you can use them as warmup or cool-down stretches after exercise as well.\\nBreathe freely and deeply through stretches. If you feel any pain or tension, stop. Stretches should never hurt.\\n6. Eat nutritional foods.\\nProper nutrition keeps you healthy and improves your brain function.\\nThe ideal diet includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Studies show a Mediterranean diet might be the healthiest eating style.\\n\\nPortion control is also important. Some foods you can eat without having to worry about the quantity. But in general, get in the habit of putting healthy portions on your plate and not returning for seconds.\\nEat fast food and sugary foods and drinks in moderation. These things are fine as an occasional treat but don't help your fitness when they're a regular part of your diet.\\n7. Limit consumption of alcohol and drugs.\\nAlcohol and drugs can endanger your physical and mental health.\\nDrinking alcohol contributes to poor physical health and can cause heart problems, especially as you age. Overuse or misuse of other drugs can also cause serious health problems and lead to anxiety and depression. If you drink regularly, try to cut back gradually—every little bit helps.\\nLimit drinking to one or two drinks once or twice a week. If you have difficulty with this, it might be better for you to stop drinking entirely.\\nIf you smoke, make a plan to quit. Quitting smoking improves your physical fitness and lowers your risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke, and lung disease. It can also add years to your life expectancy!\\n8. Drink water to stay hydrated.\\nPlain water is your best bet to keep your body hydrated.\\nEvery part of your body needs water to function properly. While you do get some water from the foods you eat as well as from other drinks, make plain water your go-to. Your body uses it more efficiently.\\nThe specific amount of water you need to stay hydrated varies depending on your body size and activity level.\\nYour urine is a good indication of your hydration level—if it's a dark yellow or amber color, you need more water.\\nAlways drink water before, during, and after a workout to help recover the water your body loses through sweat.\\nKeep a bottle of water with you so you always have some handy. This will make it easier to remember to take small sips of water throughout the day.\\n9. Stay active throughout the day.\\nTry to be active for a total of at least an hour over the course of the day.\\nLeading a sedentary lifestyle does great damage to your physical fitness. Even if you exercise regularly, you won't get the full benefit of that exercise if you're sedentary the rest of the time. Luckily, it is pretty easy to sneak activity into your day. Here are some ideas:\\nTake the stairs instead of the elevator\\nWork in the yard, gardening, mowing, or raking leaves\\nTidy up your home\\nWash and wax your car by hand\\nWalk somewhere instead of driving\\n10. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.\\nA good night's sleep helps restore energy and repair damage.\\nA consistent sleep pattern will really help boost your physical health. Start winding down about an hour before you plan to go to bed—turn off the screens and read a book or listen to relaxing music. Try to go to bed at around the same time every night and wake up at around the same time every morning. This helps your body's circadian rhythm adjust so when it's time to go to bed, you'll actually be tired.\\nKeep the room where you sleep quiet and dark. Having a light or the TV on makes it harder to go to sleep and fall into a deep sleep.\\nIf you're having a hard time going to sleep, get up and do something else for a few minutes until you feel tired. Tossing and turning in bed will only make things worse.\\nTalk to your doctor if you have a recurring problem falling to sleep. They might recommend a sleep aid to help.\\n11. Spend time with friends and family.\\nStrong connections with others help sustain your mental health.\\nStress and your general mood have a big effect on your overall health. It's a big part of physical fitness, even if it's often overlooked. Having loving relationships keeps you from being isolated, which can put you at higher risk for depression and other health problems.\\nIf you can exercise or do other physical activities with friends or family members, you can effectively kill two birds with one stone. Their support will also really motivate you!\\nHobbies are another important part of mental health. Sharing your hobbies with others helps build friendship and camaraderie.\\n12. Get regular medical checkups.\\nSee your doctor at least once a year.\\nRegular checkups help prevent health problems because your doctor can catch warning signs early. If you have a chronic health condition, you might need to see your doctor (or other specialists) more often.\\nSeeing your doctor regularly establishes a regular relationship with them. If you're used to seeing them, you'll be more comfortable asking them questions.\\nWarnings\\nTalk to your doctor before starting any new diet or exercise program. They'll help you do it safely. This is especially important if you have any chronic medical conditions.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nHealth.gov\\nOnline collection of health and fitness standards set by the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion\\nGo to source\\n\\\"Fitness\\\" is an individual quality that varies depending on your age, sex, and heredity—things you can't change or control.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you ready to start your fitness journey? Physical fitness refers to your body's ability to work properly and involves a lot more than just exercise. Being physically fit also means living a healthy lifestyle and looking after your mental health—it's all related! Read on to learn more about how to take good care of yourself to live a longer, happier, and healthier life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do aerobic exercise.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Aerobic exercise keeps your circulatory and respiratory systems fit.\", \"描述\": \"Your circulatory and respiratory systems deliver oxygen and nutrients throughout your body as well as remove waste. Keeping these systems fit and functioning requires cardiovascular exercise that raises your heart rate, such as walking, running, or swimming. Spend 20-30 minutes on this kind of exercise every day.\\nDo this exercise in addition to your regular physical activity. For example, even if you spend several hours gardening, you still want to make time for a 20-minute walk or some other exercise.\\nThe best way to maintain this habit is to do something you enjoy doing. If you like playing soccer, join a community league and do drills on the days you don't have a game.\\nSwimming is perhaps the best all-around workout. It's low impact, so it's great if you have painful or stiff joints.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your core.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Core strength helps prevent back pain and balance issues as you age.\", \"描述\": \"Work core exercises into your exercise routine at least 2 or 3 days a week to keep the muscles in your midsection strong. You can do basic exercises, such as crunches and planks, but you might also try yoga or pilates.\\nTai chi is another option. This Chinese martial art not only strengthens your core but also improves balance and mental focus. Community classes are often available at little to no cost.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Lift light weights for endurance.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fit muscles can perform repeated contractions for a longer period.\", \"描述\": \"Doing more repetitions with lighter weights helps build your muscular endurance. Start with a weight that makes your muscles feel tired after 10-12 repetitions. Learn and use the correct form for weight lifting exercises so you can do them properly. This ensures you get the full benefit and also lessens the risk of injury.\\nChallenge your muscles by adding weight gradually. If you stay with the same weight, you won't get much benefit out of the exercise after a few weeks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Build strength with heavy weights.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Target different muscle groups in each session for consistent strength.\", \"描述\": \"Lighter weights build endurance, but it takes fewer repetitions with heavier weights to increase the strength in your muscles. Start with the lowest weight that exhausts your muscles after 2 to 5 repetitions and gradually increase it.\\nYour muscles need at least 48 hours to recover after a good workout—schedule your strength training sessions accordingly.\\nYou can typically maintain physical fitness with 2 or 3 sessions a week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stretch for flexibility.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stretches help maintain your full range of motion.\", \"描述\": \"Flexibility is incredibly important to your basic physical fitness, especially as you age. Because aerobic exercises and strength training naturally cause your muscles to contract and stiffen, stretch before and after you exercise as well.\\nStarting a basic yoga practice is a great way to maintain your flexibility. Once you've learned a few poses, you can use them as warmup or cool-down stretches after exercise as well.\\nBreathe freely and deeply through stretches. If you feel any pain or tension, stop. Stretches should never hurt.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Eat nutritional foods.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Proper nutrition keeps you healthy and improves your brain function.\", \"描述\": \"The ideal diet includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Studies show a Mediterranean diet might be the healthiest eating style.\\n\\nPortion control is also important. Some foods you can eat without having to worry about the quantity. But in general, get in the habit of putting healthy portions on your plate and not returning for seconds.\\nEat fast food and sugary foods and drinks in moderation. These things are fine as an occasional treat but don't help your fitness when they're a regular part of your diet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Limit consumption of alcohol and drugs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Alcohol and drugs can endanger your physical and mental health.\", \"描述\": \"Drinking alcohol contributes to poor physical health and can cause heart problems, especially as you age. Overuse or misuse of other drugs can also cause serious health problems and lead to anxiety and depression. If you drink regularly, try to cut back gradually—every little bit helps.\\nLimit drinking to one or two drinks once or twice a week. If you have difficulty with this, it might be better for you to stop drinking entirely.\\nIf you smoke, make a plan to quit. Quitting smoking improves your physical fitness and lowers your risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke, and lung disease. It can also add years to your life expectancy!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Drink water to stay hydrated.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plain water is your best bet to keep your body hydrated.\", \"描述\": \"Every part of your body needs water to function properly. While you do get some water from the foods you eat as well as from other drinks, make plain water your go-to. Your body uses it more efficiently.\\nThe specific amount of water you need to stay hydrated varies depending on your body size and activity level.\\nYour urine is a good indication of your hydration level—if it's a dark yellow or amber color, you need more water.\\nAlways drink water before, during, and after a workout to help recover the water your body loses through sweat.\\nKeep a bottle of water with you so you always have some handy. This will make it easier to remember to take small sips of water throughout the day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Stay active throughout the day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to be active for a total of at least an hour over the course of the day.\", \"描述\": \"Leading a sedentary lifestyle does great damage to your physical fitness. Even if you exercise regularly, you won't get the full benefit of that exercise if you're sedentary the rest of the time. Luckily, it is pretty easy to sneak activity into your day. Here are some ideas:\\nTake the stairs instead of the elevator\\nWork in the yard, gardening, mowing, or raking leaves\\nTidy up your home\\nWash and wax your car by hand\\nWalk somewhere instead of driving\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A good night's sleep helps restore energy and repair damage.\", \"描述\": \"A consistent sleep pattern will really help boost your physical health. Start winding down about an hour before you plan to go to bed—turn off the screens and read a book or listen to relaxing music. Try to go to bed at around the same time every night and wake up at around the same time every morning. This helps your body's circadian rhythm adjust so when it's time to go to bed, you'll actually be tired.\\nKeep the room where you sleep quiet and dark. Having a light or the TV on makes it harder to go to sleep and fall into a deep sleep.\\nIf you're having a hard time going to sleep, get up and do something else for a few minutes until you feel tired. Tossing and turning in bed will only make things worse.\\nTalk to your doctor if you have a recurring problem falling to sleep. They might recommend a sleep aid to help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Spend time with friends and family.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Strong connections with others help sustain your mental health.\", \"描述\": \"Stress and your general mood have a big effect on your overall health. It's a big part of physical fitness, even if it's often overlooked. Having loving relationships keeps you from being isolated, which can put you at higher risk for depression and other health problems.\\nIf you can exercise or do other physical activities with friends or family members, you can effectively kill two birds with one stone. Their support will also really motivate you!\\nHobbies are another important part of mental health. Sharing your hobbies with others helps build friendship and camaraderie.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Get regular medical checkups.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See your doctor at least once a year.\", \"描述\": \"Regular checkups help prevent health problems because your doctor can catch warning signs early. If you have a chronic health condition, you might need to see your doctor (or other specialists) more often.\\nSeeing your doctor regularly establishes a regular relationship with them. If you're used to seeing them, you'll be more comfortable asking them questions.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Talk to your doctor before starting any new diet or exercise program. They'll help you do it safely. This is especially important if you have any chronic medical conditions.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nHealth.gov\\nOnline collection of health and fitness standards set by the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion\\nGo to source\\n\", \"\\\"Fitness\\\" is an individual quality that varies depending on your age, sex, and heredity—things you can't change or control.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,032 | How to Be Playful | 1. Being Playful with Others
1-1. Spend more time learning from kids.
Spending more time with children is the easiest way to become more playful. You should play with them not with the goal of teaching them more about life, but to learn more from them by watching how they approach and look at life. Children look at everything with curiosity, excitement, and joy, and you should learn to approach life in this more playful manner.
If you don't have kids of your own, try volunteering with children, or spending more time with children of your friends or relatives. Obviously, you shouldn't just go out and approach a stranger's kid.
1-2. Play with a pet.
If you have a dog or a cat or know a friend who does, then spend more time playing with animals. Whether you're walking a dog or tossing a ball to it, or playing around with your cat and a feather toy, playing with animals alters your perspective and makes you approach life in a more playful and less structured way. You can even work as a dog walker or spend time cat-sitting for a friend to be around animals more. If you really like the animals idea, volunteer at an animal shelter.
Being around non-humans can help you take some of the structure out of your life and to approach things in a less regimented way.
1-3. Dance
Go take salsa or Zumba lessons, or just hit up the clubs with your friends. Toss your hair around and dance to some completely silly or ridiculous music. It's not about looking good -- it's about feeling good, and the more you dance, the more you're able to let loose, feel relaxed, and generally let go of your inhibitions, the more playful you'll become.
Doing a dance with specific moves, such as "The Dougie," "The Cupid Shuffle," or even "The Harlem Shake," can make you let go even more as you get caught up in the moment of the dance moves.
You absolutely do not have to be a good dancer to be playful in this way!
1-4. Laugh at yourself.
Being able able to laugh at yourself around others is an important way to be playful. If you're always so serious about yourself and can't step back and admit when you've made a fool of yourself, made a silly comment, or just did something unintentionally hilarious, then you'll never be able to be playful. Being able to laugh at yourself will make people see that you're fun to hang around with, and that you're not a stick-in-the-mud who is determined to act in a serious way 100% of the time.
Being able to laugh at yourself will also help you relax, which will make you more playful.
Look for humor or irony even in uncomfortable situations.
1-5. Softly hit people.
If you're hanging out with good friends and are in the middle of a mock-argument, try softly hitting or pushing each other. This works best if you're walking around, on a beach, or sitting in a park somewhere -- probably not at a restaurant or a formal event. Just softly hitting your friends if the mood is right can help you relax and be more playful in your approach to life and friendships.
Make sure you know the other person well enough and that the hitting is reciprocated, though.
1-6. Tease your friends lightly.
Being able to tease people is an important part of being playful. This means knowing people well enough to be able to make fun of their little foibles, from their obsession with chocolate to their clumsy nature. As long as the teasing isn't mean-spirited or over the top, being able to tease people and to be teased in return will make you a more playful person.
The more you tease people, the more you'll know where their boundaries are.
Teasing people will remind you that you should be more playful and not take life too seriously.
1-7. Get in a tickle fight.
Tickle fights are another great way to be more playful in your everyday life. If you have a child, then this is a prime target for a tickle fight. Your significant other is a great target, too. A good friend can be a great target as long as you find the right time and the other person is into it. Sitting back, having fun, and trying to tickle the person you're with is another great way to be playful.
Again, make sure you're comfortable with the person you're tickling before you begin.
1-8. Play games.
Making a goal of playing more games in your life is a great way to be more playful. Getting people together for a game night, or spontaneously introducing a game to your friends when you're hanging out, is a great way to do something different and to make your social life a bit different and more playful. Have you tried big booty? What about musical chairs? Or drown the penny?
Other games you could try include Risk, charades, Simon Says, Twister, board games, and magic tricks.
You can also try making games out of everyday activities. For example, if you and your partner regularly cook dinner at home, challenge them to a cook-off to see who can make the best version of your favorite food.
1-9. Get involved in more sports.
Playing sports without taking them seriously is a great way to be more playful and to spend more time with your friends. If you have a good relationship with your colleagues or just want to have one, try to organize a weekly or monthly bowling night, or get your co-workers to join a softball league with you. Join a sports team outside of school or just get a good friend to play tennis or basketball with you.
Playing more sports makes you less concerned about work and will make you a more playful person overall.
1-10. Be a good sport.
Don't be a sore loser! There's no reason to take anything personally. When you get too concerned about being proper and polite, you lose a great deal of playfulness and humor. If you accidentally say something inappropriate, be ready to genuinely apologize. But in playing there's a certain amount of competitiveness and teasing that creates an exciting tension.
1-11. Tell goofy jokes.
Everyone loves a joke, no matter how corny it is. If you want to be more playful, then learn some corny jokes and test them out on people. As long as you're not too serious when you tell them and make it clear that you know you're being silly, the jokes will be taken the right way; if people don't laugh, they'll at least groan at your attempt to make a joke, whether it involves a pun or a silly reference. You can try knock knock jokes, ice-breakers, short anecdotes, or really whatever floats your boat.
Try this one. Loudly say, "Polar bear!" When your friends stare at you, just shrug and say, "What? I'm just trying to break the ice!"
How about the reverse-knock knock joke? Tell your friend that you have a great knock-knock joke, and then say, "Okay, you start." Your friend will say, "Knock-knock," and you can say, "Who's there?" Then, you can laugh as you see how confused your friend gets when he realizes he doesn't have an answer.
1-12. Throw a costume party.
Dressing up doesn't have to be just for Halloween. Wearing a costume helps people let go of their identities and be more playful in their approach to life. You can throw a costume party any time and it will definitely make you look and feel more playful. Here are some great costume parties to throw:
The classic Great Gatsby party
Have everyone dress up as their favorite animal
Have an "ugly Christmas sweater" holiday party
Have people dress up as their favorite childhood idols
Have people dress up as literary characters
Have a space alien party
Have a cross-dressing party
2. Being Playful by Yourself
2-1. Add some music to your everyday routine.
Music can be a great way to let loose and decrease stress. Find a few minutes each day where you can add some music into your routine. Maybe you have a favorite song you can whistle at work, or maybe you love to sing in the shower. You can even have a dance party with yourself whenever you need a pick-me-up.
2-2. Take a walk without a destination.
Step outside your house and make a goal of walking for half an hour in a direction that you've never gone before. See what you notice on your way out, and make a game of seeing how many dogs, fire hydrants, two-story houses, or certain kinds of flowers you spot. Don't talk on the phone or think about work while you're walking; try to take in the scenery as much as you can.
You can bring your phone with you, but only if it keeps you from getting lost!
2-3. Create art for yourself.
Don't create art with the goal of selling it or impressing others. Tell yourself that you're making something for yourself and yourself only. You can make a sculpture of your cat, write a short story about your childhood, write your own limerick, or sing a song about your least favorite vegetable. Oil or water painting is another great way to create fun or meaningful art. Turn off your phone, computer, or any other distractions that will keep you focused on creating the art.
Set aside at least two hours to do it. Really focus on your creation and nothing else.
2-4. Make magnetic poetry.
Put a magnetic poetry set on your refrigerator. Every morning, create a new poem with the borrowed words. Doing this as you're just waking up will make you more alert, get your creativity juices flowing, and will make you feel more playful throughout the day. If you don't have the time to write a new poem every morning, try to write one every Sunday morning to keep you going throughout the week.
If a friend comes over, encourage him or her to mix your words around.
2-5. Make funny faces at yourself in the mirror.
This is a great way to keep yourself from taking the world too seriously. It's also a great stress-reliever if you're in the middle of an intense situation and need to take a breather for a few minutes. Just stare at yourself in the mirror, and make at least four funny faces at yourself, whether you're sticking out your tongues, snarling, bugging out your eyes, or gritting your teeth, until you make yourself crack up.
If you have a friend who also has a few minutes to spare, take photos of each other's silly faces and send them to each other.
2-6. Watch silly YouTube videos.
Who says you don't have time to go on YouTube to watch a cat playing around with a banana or to watch Jenna Marbles' latest insight on life? Everyone has five minutes to spare, so browse YouTube until you find something that truly makes you crack up. You may even find a go-to video that has the ability to make you laugh every time, even if it's a ten-second video of a goalie getting knocked over by a soccer ball. Put this video in your favorites and play it back for yourself in times of stress, and you'll be feeling more relaxed and more playful.
If you're really feeling playful, then you can make a YouTube video of your own.
2-7. Laugh by yourself.
Laughter can be enjoyed alone as well as in good company. Do whatever you need to make yourself laugh -- watch YouTube, read the comics, watch Saturday Night Live when you're staying in, read Tina Fey's memoir, or watch The New Girl or even a stand-up comedy act until you're belly-laughing. Being able to crack up on your own will make you a more playful, fun-loving person, and it will make it easier for you to laugh with others.
Finding something that really makes you laugh on your own can also help you share it with others. Maybe you've found a dynamite YouTube clip that will be a big hit at parties.
2-8. Do yoga.
Yoga is an extremely playful practice, and it's all about exploring what your body can and can not do. There's no one way to complete a yoga practice, and most classes leave room for flexibility and playfulness, whether you're trying to master a tripod headstand, try a one-legged chaturanga, or just exploring happy baby pose in a deeper way.
Yoga allows room for exploration, which is exactly what you need to be more playful. Don't be scared to try something out of your comfort zone -- that's exactly what yoga is about.
3. Going the Extra Mile
3-1. Be more energetic.
Having more energy will make you a much more playful person. One of the reasons people stop being playful is because they're just too tired to be up for playing games or taking the world less seriously. So, try to eat three balanced meals, get enough rest, spend time socializing, and avoid anything that will lead you to be generally too exhausted to even smile.
There are a million ways to be more energetic, from changing your socks in the middle of the day to wearing brighter colors to project more energy.
3-2. Say yes more.
This is another key way to be more playful. When you were a kid, you must have said yes to most of the new things in front of you; as you grew older, you got more used to your habits and routine and became less interested in new activities. So, if you want to be more playful, say yes to more invitations, and say yes the next time someone wants to go to the zoo with you, teach you how to juggle, or take a ceramics class. Only good will come of it.
Make a goal of saying yes at least 30% more in your every day life.
Stop with the excuses. The next time you say no to something, ask yourself what's really stopping you. Is it tiredness? Laziness? The fear of trying something new?
3-3. Get out of your comfort zone.
Getting out of your comfort zone will allow you to become a truly playful person. Do something that completely scares you, whether it's taking swimming lessons, trying Ethiopian food, or hanging out with a group of people who seem to have nothing in common with you. Getting out of your comfort zone will teach you that you have more to learn and do than you thought, and that the very things that make you uncomfortable can be the most rewarding of all.
You'll never be truly playful if you do the same five old things every week. Try to do something that makes you uncomfortable at least once a week.
Hang out with people who challenge you to try new things.
3-4. Make the time for playfulness.
A lot of people aren't playful enough simply because they don't have the time to be. Make sure you set at least three hours a week aside in your schedule for "play time" -- you can even call it that on your planner so you know that this time should not be taken too seriously. You may think that scheduling time to be fun and carefree defeats the purpose of it, but in reality, making the time to be playful is half the battle.
Set up a schedule that others can join in on, too. Host a weekly game night, for example, or schedule a weekly night out with your friends. Then, try something fun and new like an escape room or a cooking class.
3-5. Don't let other people get you down.
If you crack a joke or flirt with someone and they growl or roll their eyes or look at you like you have ten heads, stay positive! Think about what a child would do--shrug and bounce away, off to find another playmate.
3-6. Live in the moment.
Living in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. It takes practice but in the end, you'll lead a fuller life. To do this you must realize the beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. The most playful people are the ones who are most "tuned in" to the present. They're so fascinated by the world at the moment that they're always finding ways to engage it!
3-7. Smile more.
Simply making the effort to smile more, whether you're by yourself, walking past strangers, sitting in class, or hanging out with old friends, will make you a much more playful person who is receptive to all of the positive energy in the world. You won't be able to be very playful if you have a big frown on your face, and smiling more will make you more open to all of the games that the world has to offer.
You can even smile when nobody's around. Smiling by yourself will also put you in a more positive and more playful mindset.
Tips
If someone tells you to stop, i.e. if they're in a bad mood or simply don't like playful attitudes, stop. This does not mean they don't like you, it simply means they're not in the mood to play.
While being playful has a lot to do with getting in touch with your inner child, remember that there's a difference between being "childlike" and "childish. Playfulness doesn't have to include temper tantrums, ignorance, or bratty behavior.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Playful with Others\\n1-1. Spend more time learning from kids.\\nSpending more time with children is the easiest way to become more playful. You should play with them not with the goal of teaching them more about life, but to learn more from them by watching how they approach and look at life. Children look at everything with curiosity, excitement, and joy, and you should learn to approach life in this more playful manner.\\nIf you don't have kids of your own, try volunteering with children, or spending more time with children of your friends or relatives. Obviously, you shouldn't just go out and approach a stranger's kid.\\n1-2. Play with a pet.\\nIf you have a dog or a cat or know a friend who does, then spend more time playing with animals. Whether you're walking a dog or tossing a ball to it, or playing around with your cat and a feather toy, playing with animals alters your perspective and makes you approach life in a more playful and less structured way. You can even work as a dog walker or spend time cat-sitting for a friend to be around animals more. If you really like the animals idea, volunteer at an animal shelter.\\nBeing around non-humans can help you take some of the structure out of your life and to approach things in a less regimented way.\\n1-3. Dance\\nGo take salsa or Zumba lessons, or just hit up the clubs with your friends. Toss your hair around and dance to some completely silly or ridiculous music. It's not about looking good -- it's about feeling good, and the more you dance, the more you're able to let loose, feel relaxed, and generally let go of your inhibitions, the more playful you'll become.\\nDoing a dance with specific moves, such as \\\"The Dougie,\\\" \\\"The Cupid Shuffle,\\\" or even \\\"The Harlem Shake,\\\" can make you let go even more as you get caught up in the moment of the dance moves.\\nYou absolutely do not have to be a good dancer to be playful in this way!\\n1-4. Laugh at yourself.\\nBeing able able to laugh at yourself around others is an important way to be playful. If you're always so serious about yourself and can't step back and admit when you've made a fool of yourself, made a silly comment, or just did something unintentionally hilarious, then you'll never be able to be playful. Being able to laugh at yourself will make people see that you're fun to hang around with, and that you're not a stick-in-the-mud who is determined to act in a serious way 100% of the time.\\nBeing able to laugh at yourself will also help you relax, which will make you more playful.\\nLook for humor or irony even in uncomfortable situations.\\n1-5. Softly hit people.\\nIf you're hanging out with good friends and are in the middle of a mock-argument, try softly hitting or pushing each other. This works best if you're walking around, on a beach, or sitting in a park somewhere -- probably not at a restaurant or a formal event. Just softly hitting your friends if the mood is right can help you relax and be more playful in your approach to life and friendships.\\nMake sure you know the other person well enough and that the hitting is reciprocated, though.\\n1-6. Tease your friends lightly.\\nBeing able to tease people is an important part of being playful. This means knowing people well enough to be able to make fun of their little foibles, from their obsession with chocolate to their clumsy nature. As long as the teasing isn't mean-spirited or over the top, being able to tease people and to be teased in return will make you a more playful person.\\nThe more you tease people, the more you'll know where their boundaries are.\\nTeasing people will remind you that you should be more playful and not take life too seriously.\\n1-7. Get in a tickle fight.\\nTickle fights are another great way to be more playful in your everyday life. If you have a child, then this is a prime target for a tickle fight. Your significant other is a great target, too. A good friend can be a great target as long as you find the right time and the other person is into it. Sitting back, having fun, and trying to tickle the person you're with is another great way to be playful.\\nAgain, make sure you're comfortable with the person you're tickling before you begin.\\n1-8. Play games.\\nMaking a goal of playing more games in your life is a great way to be more playful. Getting people together for a game night, or spontaneously introducing a game to your friends when you're hanging out, is a great way to do something different and to make your social life a bit different and more playful. Have you tried big booty? What about musical chairs? Or drown the penny?\\nOther games you could try include Risk, charades, Simon Says, Twister, board games, and magic tricks.\\nYou can also try making games out of everyday activities. For example, if you and your partner regularly cook dinner at home, challenge them to a cook-off to see who can make the best version of your favorite food.\\n1-9. Get involved in more sports.\\nPlaying sports without taking them seriously is a great way to be more playful and to spend more time with your friends. If you have a good relationship with your colleagues or just want to have one, try to organize a weekly or monthly bowling night, or get your co-workers to join a softball league with you. Join a sports team outside of school or just get a good friend to play tennis or basketball with you.\\nPlaying more sports makes you less concerned about work and will make you a more playful person overall.\\n1-10. Be a good sport.\\nDon't be a sore loser! There's no reason to take anything personally. When you get too concerned about being proper and polite, you lose a great deal of playfulness and humor. If you accidentally say something inappropriate, be ready to genuinely apologize. But in playing there's a certain amount of competitiveness and teasing that creates an exciting tension.\\n1-11. Tell goofy jokes.\\nEveryone loves a joke, no matter how corny it is. If you want to be more playful, then learn some corny jokes and test them out on people. As long as you're not too serious when you tell them and make it clear that you know you're being silly, the jokes will be taken the right way; if people don't laugh, they'll at least groan at your attempt to make a joke, whether it involves a pun or a silly reference. You can try knock knock jokes, ice-breakers, short anecdotes, or really whatever floats your boat.\\nTry this one. Loudly say, \\\"Polar bear!\\\" When your friends stare at you, just shrug and say, \\\"What? I'm just trying to break the ice!\\\"\\nHow about the reverse-knock knock joke? Tell your friend that you have a great knock-knock joke, and then say, \\\"Okay, you start.\\\" Your friend will say, \\\"Knock-knock,\\\" and you can say, \\\"Who's there?\\\" Then, you can laugh as you see how confused your friend gets when he realizes he doesn't have an answer.\\n1-12. Throw a costume party.\\nDressing up doesn't have to be just for Halloween. Wearing a costume helps people let go of their identities and be more playful in their approach to life. You can throw a costume party any time and it will definitely make you look and feel more playful. Here are some great costume parties to throw:\\nThe classic Great Gatsby party\\nHave everyone dress up as their favorite animal\\nHave an \\\"ugly Christmas sweater\\\" holiday party\\nHave people dress up as their favorite childhood idols\\nHave people dress up as literary characters\\nHave a space alien party\\nHave a cross-dressing party\\n2. Being Playful by Yourself\\n2-1. Add some music to your everyday routine.\\nMusic can be a great way to let loose and decrease stress. Find a few minutes each day where you can add some music into your routine. Maybe you have a favorite song you can whistle at work, or maybe you love to sing in the shower. You can even have a dance party with yourself whenever you need a pick-me-up.\\n2-2. Take a walk without a destination.\\nStep outside your house and make a goal of walking for half an hour in a direction that you've never gone before. See what you notice on your way out, and make a game of seeing how many dogs, fire hydrants, two-story houses, or certain kinds of flowers you spot. Don't talk on the phone or think about work while you're walking; try to take in the scenery as much as you can.\\nYou can bring your phone with you, but only if it keeps you from getting lost!\\n2-3. Create art for yourself.\\nDon't create art with the goal of selling it or impressing others. Tell yourself that you're making something for yourself and yourself only. You can make a sculpture of your cat, write a short story about your childhood, write your own limerick, or sing a song about your least favorite vegetable. Oil or water painting is another great way to create fun or meaningful art. Turn off your phone, computer, or any other distractions that will keep you focused on creating the art.\\nSet aside at least two hours to do it. Really focus on your creation and nothing else.\\n2-4. Make magnetic poetry.\\nPut a magnetic poetry set on your refrigerator. Every morning, create a new poem with the borrowed words. Doing this as you're just waking up will make you more alert, get your creativity juices flowing, and will make you feel more playful throughout the day. If you don't have the time to write a new poem every morning, try to write one every Sunday morning to keep you going throughout the week.\\nIf a friend comes over, encourage him or her to mix your words around.\\n2-5. Make funny faces at yourself in the mirror.\\nThis is a great way to keep yourself from taking the world too seriously. It's also a great stress-reliever if you're in the middle of an intense situation and need to take a breather for a few minutes. Just stare at yourself in the mirror, and make at least four funny faces at yourself, whether you're sticking out your tongues, snarling, bugging out your eyes, or gritting your teeth, until you make yourself crack up.\\nIf you have a friend who also has a few minutes to spare, take photos of each other's silly faces and send them to each other.\\n2-6. Watch silly YouTube videos.\\nWho says you don't have time to go on YouTube to watch a cat playing around with a banana or to watch Jenna Marbles' latest insight on life? Everyone has five minutes to spare, so browse YouTube until you find something that truly makes you crack up. You may even find a go-to video that has the ability to make you laugh every time, even if it's a ten-second video of a goalie getting knocked over by a soccer ball. Put this video in your favorites and play it back for yourself in times of stress, and you'll be feeling more relaxed and more playful.\\nIf you're really feeling playful, then you can make a YouTube video of your own.\\n2-7. Laugh by yourself.\\nLaughter can be enjoyed alone as well as in good company. Do whatever you need to make yourself laugh -- watch YouTube, read the comics, watch Saturday Night Live when you're staying in, read Tina Fey's memoir, or watch The New Girl or even a stand-up comedy act until you're belly-laughing. Being able to crack up on your own will make you a more playful, fun-loving person, and it will make it easier for you to laugh with others.\\nFinding something that really makes you laugh on your own can also help you share it with others. Maybe you've found a dynamite YouTube clip that will be a big hit at parties.\\n2-8. Do yoga.\\nYoga is an extremely playful practice, and it's all about exploring what your body can and can not do. There's no one way to complete a yoga practice, and most classes leave room for flexibility and playfulness, whether you're trying to master a tripod headstand, try a one-legged chaturanga, or just exploring happy baby pose in a deeper way.\\nYoga allows room for exploration, which is exactly what you need to be more playful. Don't be scared to try something out of your comfort zone -- that's exactly what yoga is about.\\n3. Going the Extra Mile\\n3-1. Be more energetic.\\nHaving more energy will make you a much more playful person. One of the reasons people stop being playful is because they're just too tired to be up for playing games or taking the world less seriously. So, try to eat three balanced meals, get enough rest, spend time socializing, and avoid anything that will lead you to be generally too exhausted to even smile.\\nThere are a million ways to be more energetic, from changing your socks in the middle of the day to wearing brighter colors to project more energy.\\n3-2. Say yes more.\\nThis is another key way to be more playful. When you were a kid, you must have said yes to most of the new things in front of you; as you grew older, you got more used to your habits and routine and became less interested in new activities. So, if you want to be more playful, say yes to more invitations, and say yes the next time someone wants to go to the zoo with you, teach you how to juggle, or take a ceramics class. Only good will come of it.\\nMake a goal of saying yes at least 30% more in your every day life.\\nStop with the excuses. The next time you say no to something, ask yourself what's really stopping you. Is it tiredness? Laziness? The fear of trying something new?\\n3-3. Get out of your comfort zone.\\nGetting out of your comfort zone will allow you to become a truly playful person. Do something that completely scares you, whether it's taking swimming lessons, trying Ethiopian food, or hanging out with a group of people who seem to have nothing in common with you. Getting out of your comfort zone will teach you that you have more to learn and do than you thought, and that the very things that make you uncomfortable can be the most rewarding of all.\\nYou'll never be truly playful if you do the same five old things every week. Try to do something that makes you uncomfortable at least once a week.\\nHang out with people who challenge you to try new things.\\n3-4. Make the time for playfulness.\\nA lot of people aren't playful enough simply because they don't have the time to be. Make sure you set at least three hours a week aside in your schedule for \\\"play time\\\" -- you can even call it that on your planner so you know that this time should not be taken too seriously. You may think that scheduling time to be fun and carefree defeats the purpose of it, but in reality, making the time to be playful is half the battle.\\nSet up a schedule that others can join in on, too. Host a weekly game night, for example, or schedule a weekly night out with your friends. Then, try something fun and new like an escape room or a cooking class.\\n3-5. Don't let other people get you down.\\nIf you crack a joke or flirt with someone and they growl or roll their eyes or look at you like you have ten heads, stay positive! Think about what a child would do--shrug and bounce away, off to find another playmate.\\n3-6. Live in the moment.\\nLiving in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. It takes practice but in the end, you'll lead a fuller life. To do this you must realize the beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. The most playful people are the ones who are most \\\"tuned in\\\" to the present. They're so fascinated by the world at the moment that they're always finding ways to engage it!\\n3-7. Smile more.\\nSimply making the effort to smile more, whether you're by yourself, walking past strangers, sitting in class, or hanging out with old friends, will make you a much more playful person who is receptive to all of the positive energy in the world. You won't be able to be very playful if you have a big frown on your face, and smiling more will make you more open to all of the games that the world has to offer.\\nYou can even smile when nobody's around. Smiling by yourself will also put you in a more positive and more playful mindset.\\nTips\\nIf someone tells you to stop, i.e. if they're in a bad mood or simply don't like playful attitudes, stop. This does not mean they don't like you, it simply means they're not in the mood to play.\\nWhile being playful has a lot to do with getting in touch with your inner child, remember that there's a difference between being \\\"childlike\\\" and \\\"childish. Playfulness doesn't have to include temper tantrums, ignorance, or bratty behavior.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's not easy to be playful when we're all so caught up in the stresses of everyday life as well as all of the serious problems in the world. Still, anyone can make more time for laughter, games, and a more positive perspective in life. Being more playful will reduce your level of stress and will make you look at the world in a more optimistic light. So how do you do it? Quit playing around and follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Playful with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend more time learning from kids.\", \"描述\": \"Spending more time with children is the easiest way to become more playful. You should play with them not with the goal of teaching them more about life, but to learn more from them by watching how they approach and look at life. Children look at everything with curiosity, excitement, and joy, and you should learn to approach life in this more playful manner.\\nIf you don't have kids of your own, try volunteering with children, or spending more time with children of your friends or relatives. Obviously, you shouldn't just go out and approach a stranger's kid.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play with a pet.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a dog or a cat or know a friend who does, then spend more time playing with animals. Whether you're walking a dog or tossing a ball to it, or playing around with your cat and a feather toy, playing with animals alters your perspective and makes you approach life in a more playful and less structured way. You can even work as a dog walker or spend time cat-sitting for a friend to be around animals more. If you really like the animals idea, volunteer at an animal shelter.\\nBeing around non-humans can help you take some of the structure out of your life and to approach things in a less regimented way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dance\", \"描述\": \"Go take salsa or Zumba lessons, or just hit up the clubs with your friends. Toss your hair around and dance to some completely silly or ridiculous music. It's not about looking good -- it's about feeling good, and the more you dance, the more you're able to let loose, feel relaxed, and generally let go of your inhibitions, the more playful you'll become.\\nDoing a dance with specific moves, such as \\\"The Dougie,\\\" \\\"The Cupid Shuffle,\\\" or even \\\"The Harlem Shake,\\\" can make you let go even more as you get caught up in the moment of the dance moves.\\nYou absolutely do not have to be a good dancer to be playful in this way!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Laugh at yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Being able able to laugh at yourself around others is an important way to be playful. If you're always so serious about yourself and can't step back and admit when you've made a fool of yourself, made a silly comment, or just did something unintentionally hilarious, then you'll never be able to be playful. Being able to laugh at yourself will make people see that you're fun to hang around with, and that you're not a stick-in-the-mud who is determined to act in a serious way 100% of the time.\\nBeing able to laugh at yourself will also help you relax, which will make you more playful.\\nLook for humor or irony even in uncomfortable situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Softly hit people.\", \"描述\": \"If you're hanging out with good friends and are in the middle of a mock-argument, try softly hitting or pushing each other. This works best if you're walking around, on a beach, or sitting in a park somewhere -- probably not at a restaurant or a formal event. Just softly hitting your friends if the mood is right can help you relax and be more playful in your approach to life and friendships.\\nMake sure you know the other person well enough and that the hitting is reciprocated, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tease your friends lightly.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to tease people is an important part of being playful. This means knowing people well enough to be able to make fun of their little foibles, from their obsession with chocolate to their clumsy nature. As long as the teasing isn't mean-spirited or over the top, being able to tease people and to be teased in return will make you a more playful person.\\nThe more you tease people, the more you'll know where their boundaries are.\\nTeasing people will remind you that you should be more playful and not take life too seriously.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get in a tickle fight.\", \"描述\": \"Tickle fights are another great way to be more playful in your everyday life. If you have a child, then this is a prime target for a tickle fight. Your significant other is a great target, too. A good friend can be a great target as long as you find the right time and the other person is into it. Sitting back, having fun, and trying to tickle the person you're with is another great way to be playful.\\nAgain, make sure you're comfortable with the person you're tickling before you begin.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Play games.\", \"描述\": \"Making a goal of playing more games in your life is a great way to be more playful. Getting people together for a game night, or spontaneously introducing a game to your friends when you're hanging out, is a great way to do something different and to make your social life a bit different and more playful. Have you tried big booty? What about musical chairs? Or drown the penny?\\nOther games you could try include Risk, charades, Simon Says, Twister, board games, and magic tricks.\\nYou can also try making games out of everyday activities. For example, if you and your partner regularly cook dinner at home, challenge them to a cook-off to see who can make the best version of your favorite food.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get involved in more sports.\", \"描述\": \"Playing sports without taking them seriously is a great way to be more playful and to spend more time with your friends. If you have a good relationship with your colleagues or just want to have one, try to organize a weekly or monthly bowling night, or get your co-workers to join a softball league with you. Join a sports team outside of school or just get a good friend to play tennis or basketball with you.\\nPlaying more sports makes you less concerned about work and will make you a more playful person overall.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Be a good sport.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be a sore loser! There's no reason to take anything personally. When you get too concerned about being proper and polite, you lose a great deal of playfulness and humor. If you accidentally say something inappropriate, be ready to genuinely apologize. But in playing there's a certain amount of competitiveness and teasing that creates an exciting tension.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Tell goofy jokes.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone loves a joke, no matter how corny it is. If you want to be more playful, then learn some corny jokes and test them out on people. As long as you're not too serious when you tell them and make it clear that you know you're being silly, the jokes will be taken the right way; if people don't laugh, they'll at least groan at your attempt to make a joke, whether it involves a pun or a silly reference. You can try knock knock jokes, ice-breakers, short anecdotes, or really whatever floats your boat.\\nTry this one. Loudly say, \\\"Polar bear!\\\" When your friends stare at you, just shrug and say, \\\"What? I'm just trying to break the ice!\\\"\\nHow about the reverse-knock knock joke? Tell your friend that you have a great knock-knock joke, and then say, \\\"Okay, you start.\\\" Your friend will say, \\\"Knock-knock,\\\" and you can say, \\\"Who's there?\\\" Then, you can laugh as you see how confused your friend gets when he realizes he doesn't have an answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Throw a costume party.\", \"描述\": \"Dressing up doesn't have to be just for Halloween. Wearing a costume helps people let go of their identities and be more playful in their approach to life. You can throw a costume party any time and it will definitely make you look and feel more playful. Here are some great costume parties to throw:\\nThe classic Great Gatsby party\\nHave everyone dress up as their favorite animal\\nHave an \\\"ugly Christmas sweater\\\" holiday party\\nHave people dress up as their favorite childhood idols\\nHave people dress up as literary characters\\nHave a space alien party\\nHave a cross-dressing party\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Playful by Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Add some music to your everyday routine.\", \"描述\": \"Music can be a great way to let loose and decrease stress. Find a few minutes each day where you can add some music into your routine. Maybe you have a favorite song you can whistle at work, or maybe you love to sing in the shower. You can even have a dance party with yourself whenever you need a pick-me-up.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a walk without a destination.\", \"描述\": \"Step outside your house and make a goal of walking for half an hour in a direction that you've never gone before. See what you notice on your way out, and make a game of seeing how many dogs, fire hydrants, two-story houses, or certain kinds of flowers you spot. Don't talk on the phone or think about work while you're walking; try to take in the scenery as much as you can.\\nYou can bring your phone with you, but only if it keeps you from getting lost!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create art for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don't create art with the goal of selling it or impressing others. Tell yourself that you're making something for yourself and yourself only. You can make a sculpture of your cat, write a short story about your childhood, write your own limerick, or sing a song about your least favorite vegetable. Oil or water painting is another great way to create fun or meaningful art. Turn off your phone, computer, or any other distractions that will keep you focused on creating the art.\\nSet aside at least two hours to do it. Really focus on your creation and nothing else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make magnetic poetry.\", \"描述\": \"Put a magnetic poetry set on your refrigerator. Every morning, create a new poem with the borrowed words. Doing this as you're just waking up will make you more alert, get your creativity juices flowing, and will make you feel more playful throughout the day. If you don't have the time to write a new poem every morning, try to write one every Sunday morning to keep you going throughout the week.\\nIf a friend comes over, encourage him or her to mix your words around.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make funny faces at yourself in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to keep yourself from taking the world too seriously. It's also a great stress-reliever if you're in the middle of an intense situation and need to take a breather for a few minutes. Just stare at yourself in the mirror, and make at least four funny faces at yourself, whether you're sticking out your tongues, snarling, bugging out your eyes, or gritting your teeth, until you make yourself crack up.\\nIf you have a friend who also has a few minutes to spare, take photos of each other's silly faces and send them to each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Watch silly YouTube videos.\", \"描述\": \"Who says you don't have time to go on YouTube to watch a cat playing around with a banana or to watch Jenna Marbles' latest insight on life? Everyone has five minutes to spare, so browse YouTube until you find something that truly makes you crack up. You may even find a go-to video that has the ability to make you laugh every time, even if it's a ten-second video of a goalie getting knocked over by a soccer ball. Put this video in your favorites and play it back for yourself in times of stress, and you'll be feeling more relaxed and more playful.\\nIf you're really feeling playful, then you can make a YouTube video of your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Laugh by yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Laughter can be enjoyed alone as well as in good company. Do whatever you need to make yourself laugh -- watch YouTube, read the comics, watch Saturday Night Live when you're staying in, read Tina Fey's memoir, or watch The New Girl or even a stand-up comedy act until you're belly-laughing. Being able to crack up on your own will make you a more playful, fun-loving person, and it will make it easier for you to laugh with others.\\nFinding something that really makes you laugh on your own can also help you share it with others. Maybe you've found a dynamite YouTube clip that will be a big hit at parties.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do yoga.\", \"描述\": \"Yoga is an extremely playful practice, and it's all about exploring what your body can and can not do. There's no one way to complete a yoga practice, and most classes leave room for flexibility and playfulness, whether you're trying to master a tripod headstand, try a one-legged chaturanga, or just exploring happy baby pose in a deeper way.\\nYoga allows room for exploration, which is exactly what you need to be more playful. Don't be scared to try something out of your comfort zone -- that's exactly what yoga is about.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going the Extra Mile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be more energetic.\", \"描述\": \"Having more energy will make you a much more playful person. One of the reasons people stop being playful is because they're just too tired to be up for playing games or taking the world less seriously. So, try to eat three balanced meals, get enough rest, spend time socializing, and avoid anything that will lead you to be generally too exhausted to even smile.\\nThere are a million ways to be more energetic, from changing your socks in the middle of the day to wearing brighter colors to project more energy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say yes more.\", \"描述\": \"This is another key way to be more playful. When you were a kid, you must have said yes to most of the new things in front of you; as you grew older, you got more used to your habits and routine and became less interested in new activities. So, if you want to be more playful, say yes to more invitations, and say yes the next time someone wants to go to the zoo with you, teach you how to juggle, or take a ceramics class. Only good will come of it.\\nMake a goal of saying yes at least 30% more in your every day life.\\nStop with the excuses. The next time you say no to something, ask yourself what's really stopping you. Is it tiredness? Laziness? The fear of trying something new?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Getting out of your comfort zone will allow you to become a truly playful person. Do something that completely scares you, whether it's taking swimming lessons, trying Ethiopian food, or hanging out with a group of people who seem to have nothing in common with you. Getting out of your comfort zone will teach you that you have more to learn and do than you thought, and that the very things that make you uncomfortable can be the most rewarding of all.\\nYou'll never be truly playful if you do the same five old things every week. Try to do something that makes you uncomfortable at least once a week.\\nHang out with people who challenge you to try new things.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make the time for playfulness.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of people aren't playful enough simply because they don't have the time to be. Make sure you set at least three hours a week aside in your schedule for \\\"play time\\\" -- you can even call it that on your planner so you know that this time should not be taken too seriously. You may think that scheduling time to be fun and carefree defeats the purpose of it, but in reality, making the time to be playful is half the battle.\\nSet up a schedule that others can join in on, too. Host a weekly game night, for example, or schedule a weekly night out with your friends. Then, try something fun and new like an escape room or a cooking class.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't let other people get you down.\", \"描述\": \"If you crack a joke or flirt with someone and they growl or roll their eyes or look at you like you have ten heads, stay positive! Think about what a child would do--shrug and bounce away, off to find another playmate.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Live in the moment.\", \"描述\": \"Living in the moment is all about living like there's no tomorrow. It takes practice but in the end, you'll lead a fuller life. To do this you must realize the beauty in every moment, and in everyday activities. The most playful people are the ones who are most \\\"tuned in\\\" to the present. They're so fascinated by the world at the moment that they're always finding ways to engage it!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Smile more.\", \"描述\": \"Simply making the effort to smile more, whether you're by yourself, walking past strangers, sitting in class, or hanging out with old friends, will make you a much more playful person who is receptive to all of the positive energy in the world. You won't be able to be very playful if you have a big frown on your face, and smiling more will make you more open to all of the games that the world has to offer.\\nYou can even smile when nobody's around. Smiling by yourself will also put you in a more positive and more playful mindset.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If someone tells you to stop, i.e. if they're in a bad mood or simply don't like playful attitudes, stop. This does not mean they don't like you, it simply means they're not in the mood to play.\\n\", \"While being playful has a lot to do with getting in touch with your inner child, remember that there's a difference between being \\\"childlike\\\" and \\\"childish. Playfulness doesn't have to include temper tantrums, ignorance, or bratty behavior.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,033 | How to Be Playful over Text | 1. Ask a flirty question.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves.
Get a playful conversation going with a pointed question, like:
“Do you like it when someone makes the first move?”
“If I were to take you on a date, where would you want to go?”
2. Debate a playful topic.
You can get a little heated (in a flirty way).
Bring up something a little controversial, like:
“Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?”
“Cats or dogs?”
“Hamburgers or hot dogs?”
3. Send a picture of a goofy animal.
Then say, “This reminded me of you.”
It will let them know that you’re thinking about them, but it will also tease them a little bit.
Look for a baby animal making a silly face or an animal tripping over its own feet for extra comedic value.
4. Get a competition going.
There’s nothing better than a little schoolyard fun!
Playfully ask the person you’re texting to compete with you by saying something like:
“Whoever can make the other person laugh the hardest wins. GO!”
“I bet I can text back faster than you can.”
5. Ask them to save you from a boring situation.
Make them the hero of your story with a simple question.
If you have an event, class, or meeting that’s going to be excruciating to sit through, see if they can entertain you by saying:
“Ugh, I have this super boring assembly to go to today. Will you text me to make it more fun?”
“URGENT: Need distractions. This meeting will never end.”
6. See if they miss you.
Get them thinking about the next time you’ll see each other.
You can make sure you’re on their mind by saying something like:
“Do you miss me yet?”
“I bet you miss me already, huh?”
“Looking forward to our next date?”
7. Tell them your favorite things for your next date.
Flowers, candy, and chocolates set the tone for a date.
You can tell the person you’re texting what kind of gifts to get you if they want to woo you. For example:
“In case you’re wondering, my favorite flowers are roses and I love Hershey’s chocolate.”
“If you were thinking about buying me flowers, you should go for daffodils.”
8. Playfully tease them a little bit.
Playful humor can go a long way.
Pick out one of their quirks and make fun of it, but don’t get too mean! Throw in a few “lol”s or “haha”s if you need to tone it down. For example:
(If they have a complicated coffee order) “Don’t forget to ask for whipped cream made from tiny unicorns! lol”
(If they’re always running late) “Fashionably late again? Haha.”
9. Tell them you’re thinking about them.
It’ll make them feel good and let them know that you care.
You can do it in a playful way so you don’t seem so serious, like:
“I have so much to do, but I keep getting distracted by you.”
“I’m trying to fall asleep but you keep running through my mind.”
10. Set up a time for your next date.
Don’t be afraid to get a little bold.
The more playful you are, the more lighthearted and fun it will feel. For example:
“We should probably go on another date soon.”
“You’re going to love the outfit I wear on our next date.”
“Any room for me in your weekend plans?”
Tips
Sprinkle in a few emojis throughout your texts to keep them lighthearted and playful.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ask a flirty question.\\nEveryone likes to talk about themselves.\\nGet a playful conversation going with a pointed question, like:\\n“Do you like it when someone makes the first move?”\\n“If I were to take you on a date, where would you want to go?”\\n2. Debate a playful topic.\\nYou can get a little heated (in a flirty way).\\nBring up something a little controversial, like:\\n“Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?”\\n“Cats or dogs?”\\n“Hamburgers or hot dogs?”\\n3. Send a picture of a goofy animal.\\nThen say, “This reminded me of you.”\\nIt will let them know that you’re thinking about them, but it will also tease them a little bit.\\nLook for a baby animal making a silly face or an animal tripping over its own feet for extra comedic value.\\n4. Get a competition going.\\nThere’s nothing better than a little schoolyard fun!\\nPlayfully ask the person you’re texting to compete with you by saying something like:\\n“Whoever can make the other person laugh the hardest wins. GO!”\\n“I bet I can text back faster than you can.”\\n5. Ask them to save you from a boring situation.\\nMake them the hero of your story with a simple question.\\nIf you have an event, class, or meeting that’s going to be excruciating to sit through, see if they can entertain you by saying:\\n“Ugh, I have this super boring assembly to go to today. Will you text me to make it more fun?”\\n“URGENT: Need distractions. This meeting will never end.”\\n6. See if they miss you.\\nGet them thinking about the next time you’ll see each other.\\nYou can make sure you’re on their mind by saying something like:\\n“Do you miss me yet?”\\n“I bet you miss me already, huh?”\\n“Looking forward to our next date?”\\n7. Tell them your favorite things for your next date.\\nFlowers, candy, and chocolates set the tone for a date.\\nYou can tell the person you’re texting what kind of gifts to get you if they want to woo you. For example:\\n“In case you’re wondering, my favorite flowers are roses and I love Hershey’s chocolate.”\\n“If you were thinking about buying me flowers, you should go for daffodils.”\\n8. Playfully tease them a little bit.\\nPlayful humor can go a long way.\\nPick out one of their quirks and make fun of it, but don’t get too mean! Throw in a few “lol”s or “haha”s if you need to tone it down. For example:\\n(If they have a complicated coffee order) “Don’t forget to ask for whipped cream made from tiny unicorns! lol”\\n(If they’re always running late) “Fashionably late again? Haha.”\\n9. Tell them you’re thinking about them.\\nIt’ll make them feel good and let them know that you care.\\nYou can do it in a playful way so you don’t seem so serious, like:\\n“I have so much to do, but I keep getting distracted by you.”\\n“I’m trying to fall asleep but you keep running through my mind.”\\n10. Set up a time for your next date.\\nDon’t be afraid to get a little bold.\\nThe more playful you are, the more lighthearted and fun it will feel. For example:\\n“We should probably go on another date soon.”\\n“You’re going to love the outfit I wear on our next date.”\\n“Any room for me in your weekend plans?”\\nTips\\nSprinkle in a few emojis throughout your texts to keep them lighthearted and playful.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re texting your crush or someone you like, you might try to be a little playful. Getting playful and flirty is a great way to build interest and let them know that you like them. We’ve compiled some of the best ways you can keep your conversation going with a little good-natured fun and flirty texts so you’ll never run out of things to say!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask a flirty question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Everyone likes to talk about themselves.\", \"描述\": \"Get a playful conversation going with a pointed question, like:\\n“Do you like it when someone makes the first move?”\\n“If I were to take you on a date, where would you want to go?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Debate a playful topic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can get a little heated (in a flirty way).\", \"描述\": \"Bring up something a little controversial, like:\\n“Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?”\\n“Cats or dogs?”\\n“Hamburgers or hot dogs?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send a picture of a goofy animal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Then say, “This reminded me of you.”\", \"描述\": \"It will let them know that you’re thinking about them, but it will also tease them a little bit.\\nLook for a baby animal making a silly face or an animal tripping over its own feet for extra comedic value.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a competition going.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"There’s nothing better than a little schoolyard fun!\", \"描述\": \"Playfully ask the person you’re texting to compete with you by saying something like:\\n“Whoever can make the other person laugh the hardest wins. GO!”\\n“I bet I can text back faster than you can.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask them to save you from a boring situation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make them the hero of your story with a simple question.\", \"描述\": \"If you have an event, class, or meeting that’s going to be excruciating to sit through, see if they can entertain you by saying:\\n“Ugh, I have this super boring assembly to go to today. Will you text me to make it more fun?”\\n“URGENT: Need distractions. This meeting will never end.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"See if they miss you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get them thinking about the next time you’ll see each other.\", \"描述\": \"You can make sure you’re on their mind by saying something like:\\n“Do you miss me yet?”\\n“I bet you miss me already, huh?”\\n“Looking forward to our next date?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tell them your favorite things for your next date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flowers, candy, and chocolates set the tone for a date.\", \"描述\": \"You can tell the person you’re texting what kind of gifts to get you if they want to woo you. For example:\\n“In case you’re wondering, my favorite flowers are roses and I love Hershey’s chocolate.”\\n“If you were thinking about buying me flowers, you should go for daffodils.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Playfully tease them a little bit.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Playful humor can go a long way.\", \"描述\": \"Pick out one of their quirks and make fun of it, but don’t get too mean! Throw in a few “lol”s or “haha”s if you need to tone it down. For example:\\n(If they have a complicated coffee order) “Don’t forget to ask for whipped cream made from tiny unicorns! lol”\\n(If they’re always running late) “Fashionably late again? Haha.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Tell them you’re thinking about them.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’ll make them feel good and let them know that you care.\", \"描述\": \"You can do it in a playful way so you don’t seem so serious, like:\\n“I have so much to do, but I keep getting distracted by you.”\\n“I’m trying to fall asleep but you keep running through my mind.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Set up a time for your next date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid to get a little bold.\", \"描述\": \"The more playful you are, the more lighthearted and fun it will feel. For example:\\n“We should probably go on another date soon.”\\n“You’re going to love the outfit I wear on our next date.”\\n“Any room for me in your weekend plans?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Sprinkle in a few emojis throughout your texts to keep them lighthearted and playful.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,034 | How to Be Playful with Your Boyfriend | 1. Flirting and Teasing
1-1. Create silly nicknames for each other.
Silly nicknames are great because they make you both laugh. Plus, they can be an inside joke. To pick the perfect nickname, think about your partner's favorite things, bad habits, and embarrassing relationship mishaps. Then, try to turn that into a nickname.
For instance, let's say your boyfriend tried to make you breakfast in bed but set off the smoke alarm. If you both laughed about it, you might call him “Smokey.”
As another example, let's say your boyfriend hates sports but spent an hour playing a basketball arcade game to win you a teddy bear. You might call him “MVP” to remind you both of the incident.
1-2. Tease them playfully to make them laugh.
When you tease your boyfriend, pick topics that you can both comfortably laugh about. You want him to feel amused, not hurt. Make teasing jokes about your relationship mishaps, your boyfriend's bad habits, and the things you like about your boyfriend.
For example, let's say your boyfriend accidentally got you the same present twice. You might tease him by saying, “I guess I know what I'm getting for my birthday.”
If your boyfriend has a habit of being late, you might start saying things like, “Let's meet at 6:30 Liam Standard Time.”
You might tease him with compliments by saying something like, “You really need a haircut, but I'm loving this werewolf boyfriend look.”
1-3. Touch and tickle your boyfriend to tease him a little.
Being flirty and playful also involves a little intimacy. Make light touches on your boyfriend's arms, neck, back, and legs to remind him you're interested in him. Alternatively, give him a light tickle to make him laugh.
Tickling is a great way to be intimate in a silly, playful way because it's something you can only do with someone you're in a close relationship with.
1-4. Take something that's his and get him to chase you.
Steal his hat, take his book, or snatch his game controller. Then, tell him he'll have to catch you to get it back. Make him chase you for a few minutes before letting him catch you. When he grabs you, collapse into his arms laughing.
It's best to avoid taking important items, like his phone or wallet. Keep the game fun and silly by taking something that won't get broken or damaged.
1-5. Feed each other yummy treats.
Putting food onto each other's lips or tongues is very intimate while still being playful. Take turns gently feeding each other. Here are some treats you could try:
Strawberries
Grapes
Chocolates
Bite-size candies
Ice cream
Donut holes
Cake
1-6. Send your boyfriend playful or flirty texts.
This can include memes, pictures of you, references to inside jokes, or sexts. Try to send him at least 1 playful text a day. For instance, you might send him a funny meme in the morning and a flirty pic right before date night.
Only send things you're comfortable sending. You don't have to send sexy photos or texts to your boyfriend if you don't want to do it.
1-7. Keep a couple's journal so you can share playful love notes or stories.
Your notebook will be a fun secret between the two of you! Get a journal or notebook that you can share. Write a sweet or silly note to your boyfriend as the first entry, then give it to him. Invite him to write you a note back.
Your entries might include love notes, silly stories about you two, or your favorite memories from your relationship.
Set a goal for how often you'll write in the notebook. For instance, you might decide that you'll try to exchange the notebook at least once a week.
Don't worry about filling up a whole page.
2. Being Spontaneous and Fun
2-1. Go to a local park and play.
Use the playground equipment, throw a frisbee, or play on the splash pad, if there is one. If you have time, plan a picnic in the park, then play some games. This is a fun, free way to play around together.
Feed the ducks if there's a pond.
If your city has more than 1 park, make a trip to each of them.
2-2. Stage a friendly pillow fight.
Write a note that says, “This is a pillow fight.” Put a pillow near the door of the room you're in and lay the note over it. Then, call your boyfriend into the room. As soon as he picks up the pillow, attack him with your pillow to start the fight.
Don't hit him very hard because you can hurt someone with a pillow.
Laugh and scream to make the fight more fun.
2-3. Take silly selfies that you can send him later.
Get your boyfriend to do funny poses with you or to make silly faces. Take a bunch of selfies and laugh at how silly you both look. Then, send him your favorite silly pic a few days later to keep the laughs going.
You can also use one of your silly selfies to make a custom birthday or anniversary card for your boyfriend. It will be a playful, funny reminder!
2-4. Make a craft project or recipe as a way to play together.
Being creative together is a great way to add play to your relationship. Choose a craft or recipe that you're both interested in making. Then, get the supplies and spend an afternoon creating it. Don't worry about doing it right because sometimes a fail is more fun than a success.
For example, cook dinner together, make a fancy cake, paint an abstract painting, make holiday decorations, build a birdhouse, make candles, or use modeling clay to make sculptures of your favorite characters.
2-5. Celebrate a made up relationship “holiday” just for you two.
Think about your boyfriend's recent accomplishments or the first time that you did something together. Then, plan a special date to celebrate it. Make a special meal, get each other a small gift, and toast the good news.
For instance, make the date of your first kiss a monthly holiday. If you kissed on October 14, you'd celebrate on the 14th of every month.
Similarly, celebrate your boyfriend making the soccer team, winning a math award, finishing the video game he's been playing, or getting a promotion.
Constantly be looking for ways to celebrate with your boyfriend. This will help you both be aware of the good things in your relationship. Plus, it lets you have fun together.
2-6. Go on an adventure date with them.
Adventures are always fun, and they help keep your relationship exciting. Pick an activity that lets you explore something new, then see where the day takes you. These are some ideas:
Take a hike.
Visit a rock climbing gym.
Go geocaching.
Take a trip to the beach.
Tour your hometown.
2-7. Start a hobby together.
A couple's hobby can help you get closer together while keeping the fun going. Pick something that you both enjoy, then start doing it together. Here are some ideas:
Play a sport, like tennis, bowling, or one-on-one basketball.
Take dance classes.
Collect comic books.
Try live action role playing.
Take a pottery or art class together.
3. Playing Games
3-1. Play 2 truths and a lie if your relationship is fairly new.
Take turns telling each other 2 true things about yourself and 1 lie. Then, get your partner to guess which 1 is the lie. If they're right, they get a point. If they're wrong, you get a point. Whoever gets the most points wins the game.
This game can also be played with drinking, if you're old enough. Instead of giving points, you take a drink whenever you guess wrong or your partner guesses your lie.
While any couple can play this game, it's easier if you don't know each other that well.
3-2. Use Never Have I Ever to learn more about each other.
This game is great for learning all of your partner's secrets. If you're playing the game without drinking, you each start with 10 points. Take turns stating something that you've never done. If the other person has done it, they lose a point. Whoever runs out of points first loses.
This game is commonly played with alcohol. In this version, if you have done something, you take a drink.
3-3. Roll a die to see if you'll hug, kiss, or something else.
This game can be as naughty as you make it. Take turns rolling a die. Whatever number comes up will tell you what you need to do. Talk to your boyfriend to decide what each number represents. For example, your die might represent the following:
1-Kiss your partner's cheek.
2-Kiss your partner's lips.
3-Hug your partner.
4-Give your partner a 2-minute massage.
5-Feed your partner a candy.
6-Give your partner a compliment.
3-4. Do a couple's scavenger hunt.
Make your own scavenger hunt list or look for one online. Then, work with your partner to find all of the items on the list. Let your hunt get as silly as possible!
Keep track of who spots each item first, then give the winner a prize at the end.
You can customize your scavenger hunt for any location.
3-5. Have a couple's game night with your favorite board or card games.
A game night is always a great way to have fun. Gather a few of your favorite games, get some snacks and drinks, and settle in for a night of laughter. Here are some 2-player board and card games you could try:
Exploding Kittens
Jenga
Connect 4
Uno
Scattergories
Yahtzee
Battleship
Checkers
Chess
Tips
Your relationship doesn't have to be playful all the time. You'll also have serious moments, sad moments, and quiet moments. That's okay. A long-term relationship will cover the span of human emotions. That said, the friendship and playful part is important to keep you both as connected as possible.
Be sincere. Being honest and open about your feelings will help keep the relationship strong.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Flirting and Teasing\\n1-1. Create silly nicknames for each other.\\nSilly nicknames are great because they make you both laugh. Plus, they can be an inside joke. To pick the perfect nickname, think about your partner's favorite things, bad habits, and embarrassing relationship mishaps. Then, try to turn that into a nickname.\\nFor instance, let's say your boyfriend tried to make you breakfast in bed but set off the smoke alarm. If you both laughed about it, you might call him “Smokey.”\\nAs another example, let's say your boyfriend hates sports but spent an hour playing a basketball arcade game to win you a teddy bear. You might call him “MVP” to remind you both of the incident.\\n1-2. Tease them playfully to make them laugh.\\nWhen you tease your boyfriend, pick topics that you can both comfortably laugh about. You want him to feel amused, not hurt. Make teasing jokes about your relationship mishaps, your boyfriend's bad habits, and the things you like about your boyfriend.\\nFor example, let's say your boyfriend accidentally got you the same present twice. You might tease him by saying, “I guess I know what I'm getting for my birthday.”\\nIf your boyfriend has a habit of being late, you might start saying things like, “Let's meet at 6:30 Liam Standard Time.”\\nYou might tease him with compliments by saying something like, “You really need a haircut, but I'm loving this werewolf boyfriend look.”\\n1-3. Touch and tickle your boyfriend to tease him a little.\\nBeing flirty and playful also involves a little intimacy. Make light touches on your boyfriend's arms, neck, back, and legs to remind him you're interested in him. Alternatively, give him a light tickle to make him laugh.\\nTickling is a great way to be intimate in a silly, playful way because it's something you can only do with someone you're in a close relationship with.\\n1-4. Take something that's his and get him to chase you.\\nSteal his hat, take his book, or snatch his game controller. Then, tell him he'll have to catch you to get it back. Make him chase you for a few minutes before letting him catch you. When he grabs you, collapse into his arms laughing.\\nIt's best to avoid taking important items, like his phone or wallet. Keep the game fun and silly by taking something that won't get broken or damaged.\\n1-5. Feed each other yummy treats.\\nPutting food onto each other's lips or tongues is very intimate while still being playful. Take turns gently feeding each other. Here are some treats you could try:\\nStrawberries\\nGrapes\\nChocolates\\nBite-size candies\\nIce cream\\nDonut holes\\nCake\\n1-6. Send your boyfriend playful or flirty texts.\\nThis can include memes, pictures of you, references to inside jokes, or sexts. Try to send him at least 1 playful text a day. For instance, you might send him a funny meme in the morning and a flirty pic right before date night.\\nOnly send things you're comfortable sending. You don't have to send sexy photos or texts to your boyfriend if you don't want to do it.\\n1-7. Keep a couple's journal so you can share playful love notes or stories.\\nYour notebook will be a fun secret between the two of you! Get a journal or notebook that you can share. Write a sweet or silly note to your boyfriend as the first entry, then give it to him. Invite him to write you a note back.\\nYour entries might include love notes, silly stories about you two, or your favorite memories from your relationship.\\nSet a goal for how often you'll write in the notebook. For instance, you might decide that you'll try to exchange the notebook at least once a week.\\nDon't worry about filling up a whole page.\\n2. Being Spontaneous and Fun\\n2-1. Go to a local park and play.\\nUse the playground equipment, throw a frisbee, or play on the splash pad, if there is one. If you have time, plan a picnic in the park, then play some games. This is a fun, free way to play around together.\\nFeed the ducks if there's a pond.\\nIf your city has more than 1 park, make a trip to each of them.\\n2-2. Stage a friendly pillow fight.\\nWrite a note that says, “This is a pillow fight.” Put a pillow near the door of the room you're in and lay the note over it. Then, call your boyfriend into the room. As soon as he picks up the pillow, attack him with your pillow to start the fight.\\nDon't hit him very hard because you can hurt someone with a pillow.\\nLaugh and scream to make the fight more fun.\\n2-3. Take silly selfies that you can send him later.\\nGet your boyfriend to do funny poses with you or to make silly faces. Take a bunch of selfies and laugh at how silly you both look. Then, send him your favorite silly pic a few days later to keep the laughs going.\\nYou can also use one of your silly selfies to make a custom birthday or anniversary card for your boyfriend. It will be a playful, funny reminder!\\n2-4. Make a craft project or recipe as a way to play together.\\nBeing creative together is a great way to add play to your relationship. Choose a craft or recipe that you're both interested in making. Then, get the supplies and spend an afternoon creating it. Don't worry about doing it right because sometimes a fail is more fun than a success.\\nFor example, cook dinner together, make a fancy cake, paint an abstract painting, make holiday decorations, build a birdhouse, make candles, or use modeling clay to make sculptures of your favorite characters.\\n2-5. Celebrate a made up relationship “holiday” just for you two.\\nThink about your boyfriend's recent accomplishments or the first time that you did something together. Then, plan a special date to celebrate it. Make a special meal, get each other a small gift, and toast the good news.\\nFor instance, make the date of your first kiss a monthly holiday. If you kissed on October 14, you'd celebrate on the 14th of every month.\\nSimilarly, celebrate your boyfriend making the soccer team, winning a math award, finishing the video game he's been playing, or getting a promotion.\\nConstantly be looking for ways to celebrate with your boyfriend. This will help you both be aware of the good things in your relationship. Plus, it lets you have fun together.\\n2-6. Go on an adventure date with them.\\nAdventures are always fun, and they help keep your relationship exciting. Pick an activity that lets you explore something new, then see where the day takes you. These are some ideas:\\nTake a hike.\\nVisit a rock climbing gym.\\nGo geocaching.\\nTake a trip to the beach.\\nTour your hometown.\\n2-7. Start a hobby together.\\nA couple's hobby can help you get closer together while keeping the fun going. Pick something that you both enjoy, then start doing it together. Here are some ideas:\\nPlay a sport, like tennis, bowling, or one-on-one basketball.\\nTake dance classes.\\nCollect comic books.\\nTry live action role playing.\\nTake a pottery or art class together.\\n3. Playing Games\\n3-1. Play 2 truths and a lie if your relationship is fairly new.\\nTake turns telling each other 2 true things about yourself and 1 lie. Then, get your partner to guess which 1 is the lie. If they're right, they get a point. If they're wrong, you get a point. Whoever gets the most points wins the game.\\nThis game can also be played with drinking, if you're old enough. Instead of giving points, you take a drink whenever you guess wrong or your partner guesses your lie.\\nWhile any couple can play this game, it's easier if you don't know each other that well.\\n3-2. Use Never Have I Ever to learn more about each other.\\nThis game is great for learning all of your partner's secrets. If you're playing the game without drinking, you each start with 10 points. Take turns stating something that you've never done. If the other person has done it, they lose a point. Whoever runs out of points first loses.\\nThis game is commonly played with alcohol. In this version, if you have done something, you take a drink.\\n3-3. Roll a die to see if you'll hug, kiss, or something else.\\nThis game can be as naughty as you make it. Take turns rolling a die. Whatever number comes up will tell you what you need to do. Talk to your boyfriend to decide what each number represents. For example, your die might represent the following:\\n1-Kiss your partner's cheek.\\n2-Kiss your partner's lips.\\n3-Hug your partner.\\n4-Give your partner a 2-minute massage.\\n5-Feed your partner a candy.\\n6-Give your partner a compliment.\\n3-4. Do a couple's scavenger hunt.\\nMake your own scavenger hunt list or look for one online. Then, work with your partner to find all of the items on the list. Let your hunt get as silly as possible!\\nKeep track of who spots each item first, then give the winner a prize at the end.\\nYou can customize your scavenger hunt for any location.\\n3-5. Have a couple's game night with your favorite board or card games.\\nA game night is always a great way to have fun. Gather a few of your favorite games, get some snacks and drinks, and settle in for a night of laughter. Here are some 2-player board and card games you could try:\\nExploding Kittens\\nJenga\\nConnect 4\\nUno\\nScattergories\\nYahtzee\\nBattleship\\nCheckers\\nChess\\nTips\\nYour relationship doesn't have to be playful all the time. You'll also have serious moments, sad moments, and quiet moments. That's okay. A long-term relationship will cover the span of human emotions. That said, the friendship and playful part is important to keep you both as connected as possible.\\nBe sincere. Being honest and open about your feelings will help keep the relationship strong.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being playful with your boyfriend can spice up your relationship and may even make it last longer. Often, as couples, we forget that we have to play, getting so serious and with lots of responsibilities. If you want to be more playful with your boyfriend, add a little flirting and teasing to your relationship. Additionally, be more spontaneous and fun by trying new things together. Alternatively, put a couple's twist on popular, easy to play games.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flirting and Teasing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create silly nicknames for each other.\", \"描述\": \"Silly nicknames are great because they make you both laugh. Plus, they can be an inside joke. To pick the perfect nickname, think about your partner's favorite things, bad habits, and embarrassing relationship mishaps. Then, try to turn that into a nickname.\\nFor instance, let's say your boyfriend tried to make you breakfast in bed but set off the smoke alarm. If you both laughed about it, you might call him “Smokey.”\\nAs another example, let's say your boyfriend hates sports but spent an hour playing a basketball arcade game to win you a teddy bear. You might call him “MVP” to remind you both of the incident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tease them playfully to make them laugh.\", \"描述\": \"When you tease your boyfriend, pick topics that you can both comfortably laugh about. You want him to feel amused, not hurt. Make teasing jokes about your relationship mishaps, your boyfriend's bad habits, and the things you like about your boyfriend.\\nFor example, let's say your boyfriend accidentally got you the same present twice. You might tease him by saying, “I guess I know what I'm getting for my birthday.”\\nIf your boyfriend has a habit of being late, you might start saying things like, “Let's meet at 6:30 Liam Standard Time.”\\nYou might tease him with compliments by saying something like, “You really need a haircut, but I'm loving this werewolf boyfriend look.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Touch and tickle your boyfriend to tease him a little.\", \"描述\": \"Being flirty and playful also involves a little intimacy. Make light touches on your boyfriend's arms, neck, back, and legs to remind him you're interested in him. Alternatively, give him a light tickle to make him laugh.\\nTickling is a great way to be intimate in a silly, playful way because it's something you can only do with someone you're in a close relationship with.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take something that's his and get him to chase you.\", \"描述\": \"Steal his hat, take his book, or snatch his game controller. Then, tell him he'll have to catch you to get it back. Make him chase you for a few minutes before letting him catch you. When he grabs you, collapse into his arms laughing.\\nIt's best to avoid taking important items, like his phone or wallet. Keep the game fun and silly by taking something that won't get broken or damaged.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Feed each other yummy treats.\", \"描述\": \"Putting food onto each other's lips or tongues is very intimate while still being playful. Take turns gently feeding each other. Here are some treats you could try:\\nStrawberries\\nGrapes\\nChocolates\\nBite-size candies\\nIce cream\\nDonut holes\\nCake\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Send your boyfriend playful or flirty texts.\", \"描述\": \"This can include memes, pictures of you, references to inside jokes, or sexts. Try to send him at least 1 playful text a day. For instance, you might send him a funny meme in the morning and a flirty pic right before date night.\\nOnly send things you're comfortable sending. You don't have to send sexy photos or texts to your boyfriend if you don't want to do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep a couple's journal so you can share playful love notes or stories.\", \"描述\": \"Your notebook will be a fun secret between the two of you! Get a journal or notebook that you can share. Write a sweet or silly note to your boyfriend as the first entry, then give it to him. Invite him to write you a note back.\\nYour entries might include love notes, silly stories about you two, or your favorite memories from your relationship.\\nSet a goal for how often you'll write in the notebook. For instance, you might decide that you'll try to exchange the notebook at least once a week.\\nDon't worry about filling up a whole page.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Spontaneous and Fun\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to a local park and play.\", \"描述\": \"Use the playground equipment, throw a frisbee, or play on the splash pad, if there is one. If you have time, plan a picnic in the park, then play some games. This is a fun, free way to play around together.\\nFeed the ducks if there's a pond.\\nIf your city has more than 1 park, make a trip to each of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stage a friendly pillow fight.\", \"描述\": \"Write a note that says, “This is a pillow fight.” Put a pillow near the door of the room you're in and lay the note over it. Then, call your boyfriend into the room. As soon as he picks up the pillow, attack him with your pillow to start the fight.\\nDon't hit him very hard because you can hurt someone with a pillow.\\nLaugh and scream to make the fight more fun.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take silly selfies that you can send him later.\", \"描述\": \"Get your boyfriend to do funny poses with you or to make silly faces. Take a bunch of selfies and laugh at how silly you both look. Then, send him your favorite silly pic a few days later to keep the laughs going.\\nYou can also use one of your silly selfies to make a custom birthday or anniversary card for your boyfriend. It will be a playful, funny reminder!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a craft project or recipe as a way to play together.\", \"描述\": \"Being creative together is a great way to add play to your relationship. Choose a craft or recipe that you're both interested in making. Then, get the supplies and spend an afternoon creating it. Don't worry about doing it right because sometimes a fail is more fun than a success.\\nFor example, cook dinner together, make a fancy cake, paint an abstract painting, make holiday decorations, build a birdhouse, make candles, or use modeling clay to make sculptures of your favorite characters.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Celebrate a made up relationship “holiday” just for you two.\", \"描述\": \"Think about your boyfriend's recent accomplishments or the first time that you did something together. Then, plan a special date to celebrate it. Make a special meal, get each other a small gift, and toast the good news.\\nFor instance, make the date of your first kiss a monthly holiday. If you kissed on October 14, you'd celebrate on the 14th of every month.\\nSimilarly, celebrate your boyfriend making the soccer team, winning a math award, finishing the video game he's been playing, or getting a promotion.\\nConstantly be looking for ways to celebrate with your boyfriend. This will help you both be aware of the good things in your relationship. Plus, it lets you have fun together.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Go on an adventure date with them.\", \"描述\": \"Adventures are always fun, and they help keep your relationship exciting. Pick an activity that lets you explore something new, then see where the day takes you. These are some ideas:\\nTake a hike.\\nVisit a rock climbing gym.\\nGo geocaching.\\nTake a trip to the beach.\\nTour your hometown.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Start a hobby together.\", \"描述\": \"A couple's hobby can help you get closer together while keeping the fun going. Pick something that you both enjoy, then start doing it together. Here are some ideas:\\nPlay a sport, like tennis, bowling, or one-on-one basketball.\\nTake dance classes.\\nCollect comic books.\\nTry live action role playing.\\nTake a pottery or art class together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Playing Games\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play 2 truths and a lie if your relationship is fairly new.\", \"描述\": \"Take turns telling each other 2 true things about yourself and 1 lie. Then, get your partner to guess which 1 is the lie. If they're right, they get a point. If they're wrong, you get a point. Whoever gets the most points wins the game.\\nThis game can also be played with drinking, if you're old enough. Instead of giving points, you take a drink whenever you guess wrong or your partner guesses your lie.\\nWhile any couple can play this game, it's easier if you don't know each other that well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use Never Have I Ever to learn more about each other.\", \"描述\": \"This game is great for learning all of your partner's secrets. If you're playing the game without drinking, you each start with 10 points. Take turns stating something that you've never done. If the other person has done it, they lose a point. Whoever runs out of points first loses.\\nThis game is commonly played with alcohol. In this version, if you have done something, you take a drink.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Roll a die to see if you'll hug, kiss, or something else.\", \"描述\": \"This game can be as naughty as you make it. Take turns rolling a die. Whatever number comes up will tell you what you need to do. Talk to your boyfriend to decide what each number represents. For example, your die might represent the following:\\n1-Kiss your partner's cheek.\\n2-Kiss your partner's lips.\\n3-Hug your partner.\\n4-Give your partner a 2-minute massage.\\n5-Feed your partner a candy.\\n6-Give your partner a compliment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do a couple's scavenger hunt.\", \"描述\": \"Make your own scavenger hunt list or look for one online. Then, work with your partner to find all of the items on the list. Let your hunt get as silly as possible!\\nKeep track of who spots each item first, then give the winner a prize at the end.\\nYou can customize your scavenger hunt for any location.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a couple's game night with your favorite board or card games.\", \"描述\": \"A game night is always a great way to have fun. Gather a few of your favorite games, get some snacks and drinks, and settle in for a night of laughter. Here are some 2-player board and card games you could try:\\nExploding Kittens\\nJenga\\nConnect 4\\nUno\\nScattergories\\nYahtzee\\nBattleship\\nCheckers\\nChess\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Your relationship doesn't have to be playful all the time. You'll also have serious moments, sad moments, and quiet moments. That's okay. A long-term relationship will cover the span of human emotions. That said, the friendship and playful part is important to keep you both as connected as possible.\\n\", \"Be sincere. Being honest and open about your feelings will help keep the relationship strong.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,035 | How to Be Poetic | 1. Being More Poetic in Your Daily Life
1-1. Try seeing the world as a poet.
Poetic individuals live in the same world as the rest of humanity, but they see that world a little differently. Poets not only see the world around them, but observe it. They analyze what they see, notice little details that other people might ignore or overlook, and search for new ways to express what they are observing.
Look for new and different perspectives. You create meaning out of your perspective and interpretation of the world, so try changing the way you look at your environment and see what you notice.
For example, if you are looking at a sunset, you may notice that it is pretty. Stop and consider why you think the sunset is pretty. Is it the way the colors in the sky blend together? The way the light reflects off the clouds? The way the sun casts long shadows away from the horizon?
Think about how others might experience the world differently from you. For example, how might the world seem different if you were taller or shorter? What if you had been raised in a different home or grew up speaking a different language?
1-2. Immerse yourself in your environment.
There's a good chance that you never stop on your daily commute and take in your surroundings. In the hustle and bustle of life, it can be easy to forget that there are special moments and beautiful places all around us. By being fully present and engaging with your surroundings, you can begin to see meaning where you may have missed it before.
Poets find ways to make the ordinary extraordinary. When you see the beauty in everyday mundane things, you begin to tease out the hidden significance of everything around you.
Start out by being mindful of the things your body does every day without thought, like breathing or coordinating your movements.
Expand outward to think about how every individual interacts with their environment, and consider how amazing it is that you can be a part of that person's world (and vice versa).
Breathe deeply and force yourself to look more slowly and closely at your environment, even if you’re in a place or situation that’s familiar to you. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and ask yourself questions about what you see, feel, smell, hear, and taste.
1-3. Learn to appreciate each moment.
It can be very easy to end up spending a lot of time waiting without realizing that you've lost that time. If you're at work and it's almost time to go home, you probably count down the minutes and seconds instead of finishing up your day's assignments. The same is true of how we wait for future events: the weekend, an exciting vacation, retirement, and so on. Try to stop living for the future and start appreciating the fact that you have a chance to live a meaningful life right here and now.
1-4. See yourself as an artist.
This may be difficult if you're not used to being creative. However, everyone is an artist in some capacity. Even if you are just feeding and walking your dog, there is still a deliberate method to what you do. And ultimately your actions in caring for that dog contribute towards something larger than yourself and your own life.
No matter what you do, in work or in your personal life, there is a way to live your life creatively and artistically.
If you work as an accountant, for example, you can think of yourself as someone who brings balance and a sense of order to the world.
Consider what you love about your job. Think about the unique touches and skills that you bring to your work, and take pleasure in those. Also look for beauty and joy in the mundane aspects of your work, like the rhythm of your typing or the unique way you organize your space.
Let your creativity touch and inspire others around you. People will recognize that you see yourself as an artist, and they in turn may begin to see themselves as being a part of something poetic.
1-5. Speak poetically.
Creative use of language is a vital part of poetry. Paying attention to how you use language can get you thinking creatively and put you in a poetic mindset. Think carefully about the way you use language every day, and have fun with it. This could mean experimenting with new phrases, switching up your usual word order, or playing with different sounds.
For example, you might make a game of finding rhymes or alliterations (a series of words starting with the same letter or sound) in your speech.
Try changing the order of words in a sentence and think about how it affects the mood or meaning of the sentence. For example, how does “I am so tired” feel different from “So tired am I”? Can you change the meaning by switching it around even more (e.g., “So, I am tired,” or “Am I so tired?”)?
1-6. Expand your vocabulary.
Another way to become more poetic in your interactions with others is by expanding your vocabulary. By incorporating new words into your daily interactions, you can develop a more poetic range of speech.
You can learn new words by consulting a thesaurus. Any time you're tempted to use an old, familiar word, look it up in the thesaurus to find a suitable synonym.
Subscribe to an email list that sends out new vocabulary words. Garner's Usage Tip of the Day, Vocab Vitamins, Wordsmith, and websites like The New York Times and the Oxford English Dictionary all have word of the day subscriptions.
2. Reading and Experiencing Poetry
2-1. Find poems and poets you enjoy.
Poetry dates back thousands of years, with every region of the world having its own distinct poets and styles of poetry. If you're new to reading poetry, you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin. Novice poetry readers may find it easiest to start with poetry that uses contemporary language, though every reader's tastes and preferences are different.
Try an online poetry database like the Poetry Foundation. You can search through thousands and thousands of poems by subject, poet, occasion, school/period, and geographical region.
Explore different poets and different styles of poetry until you find someone or something that is highly engrossing. Discovering poetry that you're very fond of will make it easier for you to fully engage with the text.
2-2. Learn how to read poetry.
Reading poetry is very different from reading prose. If you're new to the genre, it may seem confusing and even intimidating. Learning how to properly read a piece of poetry will help you better understand the poet's stylistic choices and may allow you to walk away with a deeper understanding of the poem's meaning.
Set aside any assumptions you may have about a particular poet, their work, or poetry in general. Every poem is different, so you'll want to approach each piece of writing as a unique experience.
Remember that poetry is not written like prose. Poets may play with spacing, word choice, and organization on the page to create distinctly original pieces of writing.
Line breaks help the reader find the poet's intended breath for each line. However, some lines in free-verse and experimental poetry are irregular and don't follow any metrical order.
Recognize that poetry is essentially about capturing a moment. A poem may not have a logical beginning, middle, and end, but it should cause you to have some type of emotional reaction and sense something deeper beyond the words on the page.
2-3. Read poetry out loud
Once you're comfortable reading poetry to yourself, you may want to take the next step and learn how to read poetry out loud. Hearing a poem can be a drastically different experience than reading it on a page. Many poems were meant to be heard out loud, either because of the pleasing sound combinations those poems produce or because the poem is an oral tradition passed on to others (especially in ancient poetry). If you're serious about becoming more poetic, you may want to try experiencing the sounds of spoken verse out loud.
Read slowly. Don't rush through each line; take the time to savor the interplay of language and imagery.
Pause when you encounter punctuation, rather than pausing at the end of every single line break. This will make the poem less choppy and clearer to listeners, should you decide to read a poem in front of an audience.
Don't try to use a "dramatic" voice; just read the lines in your normal speaking voice and tone.
If you encounter a word you don't know or aren't sure how to pronounce, look it up in the dictionary. You owe it to the poet to understand their word choice and arrangement, so keep a dictionary on hand whenever you read.
2-4. Go to a poetry reading.
Hearing practicing poets read their work out loud can be a great way to get inspired or just develop a better understanding of how poetry sounds and feels. You don't have to wait for a world-renowned poet to come through your town, either – many colleges, bookstores, coffee shops, and bars host poetry readings for both published poets and amateur writers.
You can find a listing of poetry readings in your community by searching online. Even small towns should hold some type of reading series, especially if you live near a college or university.
Start out going to readings just to hear other poets and experience the sounds of poetry. As you get more comfortable living poetically, though, you may even want to bring your own poem(s) to read in front of an audience.
2-5. Consider taking a poetry class.
Poetry classes can help you learn about a range of different poets, types of poetry, and styles or techniques in poetry. You can take a poetry literature course, which focuses on reading and analyzing the poetry of others, or you can take a creative writing course/workshop, which can help you write your own poetry.
Check your local college or community college for academic classes in poetry.
You can also take poetry classes or workshops for free through community centers, poetry organizations, or certain nonprofit groups.
Search online for opportunities to study and write poetry in a class setting in your community.
3. Writing Your Own Poetry
3-1. Choose a moment to capture.
Any moment, whether experienced or imagined, can become the source for a poem. You may want to capture a life-altering experience in your life, but some of the best poems have been written about otherwise mundane moments. A skilled poet can capture the essence of any moment and impart it with meaning and significance.
Explore every aspect of the moment you choose.
Consider what it felt like living that moment when it was fresh, as well as how it appears now that the moment has passed.
Don't overlook the everyday moments of your lives. A moment spent waiting in fear or apprehension, for example, could make for a powerful and moving poem.
3-2. Find something new and interesting in that moment.
If you've chosen a relatively commonplace moment to write about, think about what could make that moment interesting or meaningful to a reader. That doesn't necessarily mean falsifying the moment; rather, it means looking for a different approach to a familiar sight, sound, smell, or concept.
Instead of just seeing what people are doing in a given moment, imagine the private lives of those people. Think about what they do or don't do, what motivates them, and what makes them happy or sad.
You can also apply this method to physical places. Look past a building's 4 walls and think about what might have transpired within a given place and what it might have meant in someone else's life.
3-3. Have an opinion on the things you write about.
You may be afraid to personalize your poems for fear that a reader might disagree with you. However, a good poem should convey the poet's thoughts, opinions, and feelings on whatever is being written about.
Every poem has a theme. This is the central "topic" of the poem.
A strong poem will expand on the theme with the poet's opinions and beliefs regarding that topic. This makes it more powerful as well as more meaningful, and it separates your poem from every other poem on a given subject.
3-4. Play with different word choices.
Some of the best poetry plays with words to produce unexpected phrasings and enjoyable sounds. This can take a lot of work, and it may involve some trial and error in replacing or entirely removing certain words to test the effects of those choices.
Say the words out loud to see how they sound, both individually and with one another.
Remove unnecessary words, including words like "and," "then," and "because." Many of these and other words can be removed without causing the poem to lose clarity.
Try swapping out familiar or overused words with something new. Let yourself be surprised and see how the poem turns out differently with those changes.
3-5. Work on developing striking similes and metaphors.
A simile is a comparison using "like" or "as." A metaphor uses 1 word, phrase, or concept to stand in for another word, phrase, or concept to show an otherwise abstract relationship. For example, a metaphor for beautiful eyes might be written, "Her eyes are deep pools of mystery and misunderstanding." A simile for beautiful eyes might be, "Her eyes are like deep pools that contain uncharted beauty."
Poetry often relies heavily on similes and metaphors for their imagistic effect and their ability to relate 2 seemingly disparate things in a short span of space.
Think about what a word really means, and find words that express similar things. For example, drowning can literally mean being incapable of swimming, but it can also describe a sense of feeling overwhelmed or overpowered.
Think about the symbolism of any words you choose. Even if you don't intend a word to carry a given symbolic meaning, some readers may interpret your work that way.
3-6. Choose concrete words over abstract words.
Abstract words are concepts, feelings, or ideas that are intangible. While most people recognize what abstract words like "happiness" or "sadness" mean, it's much more difficult to create an image of those emotions with written words. Instead, poets rely on concrete words, which can be described using the 5 senses.
Instead of saying that a person is happy, use concrete words to describe that person's smile or the look in their eyes.
You can also use a metaphor or simile with concrete words for added effect. For example, you might convey that a person was happy by saying, "A smile cracked her stern face like ripples across a still pond."
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being More Poetic in Your Daily Life\\n1-1. Try seeing the world as a poet.\\nPoetic individuals live in the same world as the rest of humanity, but they see that world a little differently. Poets not only see the world around them, but observe it. They analyze what they see, notice little details that other people might ignore or overlook, and search for new ways to express what they are observing.\\nLook for new and different perspectives. You create meaning out of your perspective and interpretation of the world, so try changing the way you look at your environment and see what you notice.\\nFor example, if you are looking at a sunset, you may notice that it is pretty. Stop and consider why you think the sunset is pretty. Is it the way the colors in the sky blend together? The way the light reflects off the clouds? The way the sun casts long shadows away from the horizon?\\nThink about how others might experience the world differently from you. For example, how might the world seem different if you were taller or shorter? What if you had been raised in a different home or grew up speaking a different language?\\n1-2. Immerse yourself in your environment.\\nThere's a good chance that you never stop on your daily commute and take in your surroundings. In the hustle and bustle of life, it can be easy to forget that there are special moments and beautiful places all around us. By being fully present and engaging with your surroundings, you can begin to see meaning where you may have missed it before.\\nPoets find ways to make the ordinary extraordinary. When you see the beauty in everyday mundane things, you begin to tease out the hidden significance of everything around you.\\nStart out by being mindful of the things your body does every day without thought, like breathing or coordinating your movements.\\nExpand outward to think about how every individual interacts with their environment, and consider how amazing it is that you can be a part of that person's world (and vice versa).\\nBreathe deeply and force yourself to look more slowly and closely at your environment, even if you’re in a place or situation that’s familiar to you. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and ask yourself questions about what you see, feel, smell, hear, and taste.\\n1-3. Learn to appreciate each moment.\\nIt can be very easy to end up spending a lot of time waiting without realizing that you've lost that time. If you're at work and it's almost time to go home, you probably count down the minutes and seconds instead of finishing up your day's assignments. The same is true of how we wait for future events: the weekend, an exciting vacation, retirement, and so on. Try to stop living for the future and start appreciating the fact that you have a chance to live a meaningful life right here and now.\\n1-4. See yourself as an artist.\\nThis may be difficult if you're not used to being creative. However, everyone is an artist in some capacity. Even if you are just feeding and walking your dog, there is still a deliberate method to what you do. And ultimately your actions in caring for that dog contribute towards something larger than yourself and your own life.\\nNo matter what you do, in work or in your personal life, there is a way to live your life creatively and artistically.\\nIf you work as an accountant, for example, you can think of yourself as someone who brings balance and a sense of order to the world.\\nConsider what you love about your job. Think about the unique touches and skills that you bring to your work, and take pleasure in those. Also look for beauty and joy in the mundane aspects of your work, like the rhythm of your typing or the unique way you organize your space.\\nLet your creativity touch and inspire others around you. People will recognize that you see yourself as an artist, and they in turn may begin to see themselves as being a part of something poetic.\\n1-5. Speak poetically.\\nCreative use of language is a vital part of poetry. Paying attention to how you use language can get you thinking creatively and put you in a poetic mindset. Think carefully about the way you use language every day, and have fun with it. This could mean experimenting with new phrases, switching up your usual word order, or playing with different sounds.\\nFor example, you might make a game of finding rhymes or alliterations (a series of words starting with the same letter or sound) in your speech.\\nTry changing the order of words in a sentence and think about how it affects the mood or meaning of the sentence. For example, how does “I am so tired” feel different from “So tired am I”? Can you change the meaning by switching it around even more (e.g., “So, I am tired,” or “Am I so tired?”)?\\n1-6. Expand your vocabulary.\\nAnother way to become more poetic in your interactions with others is by expanding your vocabulary. By incorporating new words into your daily interactions, you can develop a more poetic range of speech.\\nYou can learn new words by consulting a thesaurus. Any time you're tempted to use an old, familiar word, look it up in the thesaurus to find a suitable synonym.\\nSubscribe to an email list that sends out new vocabulary words. Garner's Usage Tip of the Day, Vocab Vitamins, Wordsmith, and websites like The New York Times and the Oxford English Dictionary all have word of the day subscriptions.\\n2. Reading and Experiencing Poetry\\n2-1. Find poems and poets you enjoy.\\nPoetry dates back thousands of years, with every region of the world having its own distinct poets and styles of poetry. If you're new to reading poetry, you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin. Novice poetry readers may find it easiest to start with poetry that uses contemporary language, though every reader's tastes and preferences are different.\\nTry an online poetry database like the Poetry Foundation. You can search through thousands and thousands of poems by subject, poet, occasion, school/period, and geographical region.\\nExplore different poets and different styles of poetry until you find someone or something that is highly engrossing. Discovering poetry that you're very fond of will make it easier for you to fully engage with the text.\\n2-2. Learn how to read poetry.\\nReading poetry is very different from reading prose. If you're new to the genre, it may seem confusing and even intimidating. Learning how to properly read a piece of poetry will help you better understand the poet's stylistic choices and may allow you to walk away with a deeper understanding of the poem's meaning.\\nSet aside any assumptions you may have about a particular poet, their work, or poetry in general. Every poem is different, so you'll want to approach each piece of writing as a unique experience.\\nRemember that poetry is not written like prose. Poets may play with spacing, word choice, and organization on the page to create distinctly original pieces of writing.\\nLine breaks help the reader find the poet's intended breath for each line. However, some lines in free-verse and experimental poetry are irregular and don't follow any metrical order.\\nRecognize that poetry is essentially about capturing a moment. A poem may not have a logical beginning, middle, and end, but it should cause you to have some type of emotional reaction and sense something deeper beyond the words on the page.\\n2-3. Read poetry out loud\\nOnce you're comfortable reading poetry to yourself, you may want to take the next step and learn how to read poetry out loud. Hearing a poem can be a drastically different experience than reading it on a page. Many poems were meant to be heard out loud, either because of the pleasing sound combinations those poems produce or because the poem is an oral tradition passed on to others (especially in ancient poetry). If you're serious about becoming more poetic, you may want to try experiencing the sounds of spoken verse out loud.\\nRead slowly. Don't rush through each line; take the time to savor the interplay of language and imagery.\\nPause when you encounter punctuation, rather than pausing at the end of every single line break. This will make the poem less choppy and clearer to listeners, should you decide to read a poem in front of an audience.\\nDon't try to use a \\\"dramatic\\\" voice; just read the lines in your normal speaking voice and tone.\\nIf you encounter a word you don't know or aren't sure how to pronounce, look it up in the dictionary. You owe it to the poet to understand their word choice and arrangement, so keep a dictionary on hand whenever you read.\\n2-4. Go to a poetry reading.\\nHearing practicing poets read their work out loud can be a great way to get inspired or just develop a better understanding of how poetry sounds and feels. You don't have to wait for a world-renowned poet to come through your town, either – many colleges, bookstores, coffee shops, and bars host poetry readings for both published poets and amateur writers.\\nYou can find a listing of poetry readings in your community by searching online. Even small towns should hold some type of reading series, especially if you live near a college or university.\\nStart out going to readings just to hear other poets and experience the sounds of poetry. As you get more comfortable living poetically, though, you may even want to bring your own poem(s) to read in front of an audience.\\n2-5. Consider taking a poetry class.\\nPoetry classes can help you learn about a range of different poets, types of poetry, and styles or techniques in poetry. You can take a poetry literature course, which focuses on reading and analyzing the poetry of others, or you can take a creative writing course/workshop, which can help you write your own poetry.\\nCheck your local college or community college for academic classes in poetry.\\nYou can also take poetry classes or workshops for free through community centers, poetry organizations, or certain nonprofit groups.\\nSearch online for opportunities to study and write poetry in a class setting in your community.\\n3. Writing Your Own Poetry\\n3-1. Choose a moment to capture.\\nAny moment, whether experienced or imagined, can become the source for a poem. You may want to capture a life-altering experience in your life, but some of the best poems have been written about otherwise mundane moments. A skilled poet can capture the essence of any moment and impart it with meaning and significance.\\nExplore every aspect of the moment you choose.\\nConsider what it felt like living that moment when it was fresh, as well as how it appears now that the moment has passed.\\nDon't overlook the everyday moments of your lives. A moment spent waiting in fear or apprehension, for example, could make for a powerful and moving poem.\\n3-2. Find something new and interesting in that moment.\\nIf you've chosen a relatively commonplace moment to write about, think about what could make that moment interesting or meaningful to a reader. That doesn't necessarily mean falsifying the moment; rather, it means looking for a different approach to a familiar sight, sound, smell, or concept.\\nInstead of just seeing what people are doing in a given moment, imagine the private lives of those people. Think about what they do or don't do, what motivates them, and what makes them happy or sad.\\nYou can also apply this method to physical places. Look past a building's 4 walls and think about what might have transpired within a given place and what it might have meant in someone else's life.\\n3-3. Have an opinion on the things you write about.\\nYou may be afraid to personalize your poems for fear that a reader might disagree with you. However, a good poem should convey the poet's thoughts, opinions, and feelings on whatever is being written about.\\nEvery poem has a theme. This is the central \\\"topic\\\" of the poem.\\nA strong poem will expand on the theme with the poet's opinions and beliefs regarding that topic. This makes it more powerful as well as more meaningful, and it separates your poem from every other poem on a given subject.\\n3-4. Play with different word choices.\\nSome of the best poetry plays with words to produce unexpected phrasings and enjoyable sounds. This can take a lot of work, and it may involve some trial and error in replacing or entirely removing certain words to test the effects of those choices.\\nSay the words out loud to see how they sound, both individually and with one another.\\nRemove unnecessary words, including words like \\\"and,\\\" \\\"then,\\\" and \\\"because.\\\" Many of these and other words can be removed without causing the poem to lose clarity.\\nTry swapping out familiar or overused words with something new. Let yourself be surprised and see how the poem turns out differently with those changes.\\n3-5. Work on developing striking similes and metaphors.\\nA simile is a comparison using \\\"like\\\" or \\\"as.\\\" A metaphor uses 1 word, phrase, or concept to stand in for another word, phrase, or concept to show an otherwise abstract relationship. For example, a metaphor for beautiful eyes might be written, \\\"Her eyes are deep pools of mystery and misunderstanding.\\\" A simile for beautiful eyes might be, \\\"Her eyes are like deep pools that contain uncharted beauty.\\\"\\nPoetry often relies heavily on similes and metaphors for their imagistic effect and their ability to relate 2 seemingly disparate things in a short span of space.\\nThink about what a word really means, and find words that express similar things. For example, drowning can literally mean being incapable of swimming, but it can also describe a sense of feeling overwhelmed or overpowered.\\nThink about the symbolism of any words you choose. Even if you don't intend a word to carry a given symbolic meaning, some readers may interpret your work that way.\\n3-6. Choose concrete words over abstract words.\\nAbstract words are concepts, feelings, or ideas that are intangible. While most people recognize what abstract words like \\\"happiness\\\" or \\\"sadness\\\" mean, it's much more difficult to create an image of those emotions with written words. Instead, poets rely on concrete words, which can be described using the 5 senses.\\nInstead of saying that a person is happy, use concrete words to describe that person's smile or the look in their eyes.\\nYou can also use a metaphor or simile with concrete words for added effect. For example, you might convey that a person was happy by saying, \\\"A smile cracked her stern face like ripples across a still pond.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Poetry is vastly different from prose. Poets tend to see the world as a series of images, feelings, sounds, and experiences, which they try to convey in their writing and in their everyday lives. Whether you're interested in becoming a poet or simply have a desire to learn more about how poets see the world, adopting a more poetic lifestyle and reading or writing poetry can help you enter this moving and powerful genre.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being More Poetic in Your Daily Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try seeing the world as a poet.\", \"描述\": \"Poetic individuals live in the same world as the rest of humanity, but they see that world a little differently. Poets not only see the world around them, but observe it. They analyze what they see, notice little details that other people might ignore or overlook, and search for new ways to express what they are observing.\\nLook for new and different perspectives. You create meaning out of your perspective and interpretation of the world, so try changing the way you look at your environment and see what you notice.\\nFor example, if you are looking at a sunset, you may notice that it is pretty. Stop and consider why you think the sunset is pretty. Is it the way the colors in the sky blend together? The way the light reflects off the clouds? The way the sun casts long shadows away from the horizon?\\nThink about how others might experience the world differently from you. For example, how might the world seem different if you were taller or shorter? What if you had been raised in a different home or grew up speaking a different language?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Immerse yourself in your environment.\", \"描述\": \"There's a good chance that you never stop on your daily commute and take in your surroundings. In the hustle and bustle of life, it can be easy to forget that there are special moments and beautiful places all around us. By being fully present and engaging with your surroundings, you can begin to see meaning where you may have missed it before.\\nPoets find ways to make the ordinary extraordinary. When you see the beauty in everyday mundane things, you begin to tease out the hidden significance of everything around you.\\nStart out by being mindful of the things your body does every day without thought, like breathing or coordinating your movements.\\nExpand outward to think about how every individual interacts with their environment, and consider how amazing it is that you can be a part of that person's world (and vice versa).\\nBreathe deeply and force yourself to look more slowly and closely at your environment, even if you’re in a place or situation that’s familiar to you. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and ask yourself questions about what you see, feel, smell, hear, and taste.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn to appreciate each moment.\", \"描述\": \"It can be very easy to end up spending a lot of time waiting without realizing that you've lost that time. If you're at work and it's almost time to go home, you probably count down the minutes and seconds instead of finishing up your day's assignments. The same is true of how we wait for future events: the weekend, an exciting vacation, retirement, and so on. Try to stop living for the future and start appreciating the fact that you have a chance to live a meaningful life right here and now.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"See yourself as an artist.\", \"描述\": \"This may be difficult if you're not used to being creative. However, everyone is an artist in some capacity. Even if you are just feeding and walking your dog, there is still a deliberate method to what you do. And ultimately your actions in caring for that dog contribute towards something larger than yourself and your own life.\\nNo matter what you do, in work or in your personal life, there is a way to live your life creatively and artistically.\\nIf you work as an accountant, for example, you can think of yourself as someone who brings balance and a sense of order to the world.\\nConsider what you love about your job. Think about the unique touches and skills that you bring to your work, and take pleasure in those. Also look for beauty and joy in the mundane aspects of your work, like the rhythm of your typing or the unique way you organize your space.\\nLet your creativity touch and inspire others around you. People will recognize that you see yourself as an artist, and they in turn may begin to see themselves as being a part of something poetic.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Speak poetically.\", \"描述\": \"Creative use of language is a vital part of poetry. Paying attention to how you use language can get you thinking creatively and put you in a poetic mindset. Think carefully about the way you use language every day, and have fun with it. This could mean experimenting with new phrases, switching up your usual word order, or playing with different sounds.\\nFor example, you might make a game of finding rhymes or alliterations (a series of words starting with the same letter or sound) in your speech.\\nTry changing the order of words in a sentence and think about how it affects the mood or meaning of the sentence. For example, how does “I am so tired” feel different from “So tired am I”? Can you change the meaning by switching it around even more (e.g., “So, I am tired,” or “Am I so tired?”)?\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Expand your vocabulary.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to become more poetic in your interactions with others is by expanding your vocabulary. By incorporating new words into your daily interactions, you can develop a more poetic range of speech.\\nYou can learn new words by consulting a thesaurus. Any time you're tempted to use an old, familiar word, look it up in the thesaurus to find a suitable synonym.\\nSubscribe to an email list that sends out new vocabulary words. Garner's Usage Tip of the Day, Vocab Vitamins, Wordsmith, and websites like The New York Times and the Oxford English Dictionary all have word of the day subscriptions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reading and Experiencing Poetry\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find poems and poets you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"Poetry dates back thousands of years, with every region of the world having its own distinct poets and styles of poetry. If you're new to reading poetry, you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin. Novice poetry readers may find it easiest to start with poetry that uses contemporary language, though every reader's tastes and preferences are different.\\nTry an online poetry database like the Poetry Foundation. You can search through thousands and thousands of poems by subject, poet, occasion, school/period, and geographical region.\\nExplore different poets and different styles of poetry until you find someone or something that is highly engrossing. Discovering poetry that you're very fond of will make it easier for you to fully engage with the text.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn how to read poetry.\", \"描述\": \"Reading poetry is very different from reading prose. If you're new to the genre, it may seem confusing and even intimidating. Learning how to properly read a piece of poetry will help you better understand the poet's stylistic choices and may allow you to walk away with a deeper understanding of the poem's meaning.\\nSet aside any assumptions you may have about a particular poet, their work, or poetry in general. Every poem is different, so you'll want to approach each piece of writing as a unique experience.\\nRemember that poetry is not written like prose. Poets may play with spacing, word choice, and organization on the page to create distinctly original pieces of writing.\\nLine breaks help the reader find the poet's intended breath for each line. However, some lines in free-verse and experimental poetry are irregular and don't follow any metrical order.\\nRecognize that poetry is essentially about capturing a moment. A poem may not have a logical beginning, middle, and end, but it should cause you to have some type of emotional reaction and sense something deeper beyond the words on the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read poetry out loud\", \"描述\": \"Once you're comfortable reading poetry to yourself, you may want to take the next step and learn how to read poetry out loud. Hearing a poem can be a drastically different experience than reading it on a page. Many poems were meant to be heard out loud, either because of the pleasing sound combinations those poems produce or because the poem is an oral tradition passed on to others (especially in ancient poetry). If you're serious about becoming more poetic, you may want to try experiencing the sounds of spoken verse out loud.\\nRead slowly. Don't rush through each line; take the time to savor the interplay of language and imagery.\\nPause when you encounter punctuation, rather than pausing at the end of every single line break. This will make the poem less choppy and clearer to listeners, should you decide to read a poem in front of an audience.\\nDon't try to use a \\\"dramatic\\\" voice; just read the lines in your normal speaking voice and tone.\\nIf you encounter a word you don't know or aren't sure how to pronounce, look it up in the dictionary. You owe it to the poet to understand their word choice and arrangement, so keep a dictionary on hand whenever you read.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go to a poetry reading.\", \"描述\": \"Hearing practicing poets read their work out loud can be a great way to get inspired or just develop a better understanding of how poetry sounds and feels. You don't have to wait for a world-renowned poet to come through your town, either – many colleges, bookstores, coffee shops, and bars host poetry readings for both published poets and amateur writers.\\nYou can find a listing of poetry readings in your community by searching online. Even small towns should hold some type of reading series, especially if you live near a college or university.\\nStart out going to readings just to hear other poets and experience the sounds of poetry. As you get more comfortable living poetically, though, you may even want to bring your own poem(s) to read in front of an audience.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider taking a poetry class.\", \"描述\": \"Poetry classes can help you learn about a range of different poets, types of poetry, and styles or techniques in poetry. You can take a poetry literature course, which focuses on reading and analyzing the poetry of others, or you can take a creative writing course/workshop, which can help you write your own poetry.\\nCheck your local college or community college for academic classes in poetry.\\nYou can also take poetry classes or workshops for free through community centers, poetry organizations, or certain nonprofit groups.\\nSearch online for opportunities to study and write poetry in a class setting in your community.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Writing Your Own Poetry\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a moment to capture.\", \"描述\": \"Any moment, whether experienced or imagined, can become the source for a poem. You may want to capture a life-altering experience in your life, but some of the best poems have been written about otherwise mundane moments. A skilled poet can capture the essence of any moment and impart it with meaning and significance.\\nExplore every aspect of the moment you choose.\\nConsider what it felt like living that moment when it was fresh, as well as how it appears now that the moment has passed.\\nDon't overlook the everyday moments of your lives. A moment spent waiting in fear or apprehension, for example, could make for a powerful and moving poem.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find something new and interesting in that moment.\", \"描述\": \"If you've chosen a relatively commonplace moment to write about, think about what could make that moment interesting or meaningful to a reader. That doesn't necessarily mean falsifying the moment; rather, it means looking for a different approach to a familiar sight, sound, smell, or concept.\\nInstead of just seeing what people are doing in a given moment, imagine the private lives of those people. Think about what they do or don't do, what motivates them, and what makes them happy or sad.\\nYou can also apply this method to physical places. Look past a building's 4 walls and think about what might have transpired within a given place and what it might have meant in someone else's life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have an opinion on the things you write about.\", \"描述\": \"You may be afraid to personalize your poems for fear that a reader might disagree with you. However, a good poem should convey the poet's thoughts, opinions, and feelings on whatever is being written about.\\nEvery poem has a theme. This is the central \\\"topic\\\" of the poem.\\nA strong poem will expand on the theme with the poet's opinions and beliefs regarding that topic. This makes it more powerful as well as more meaningful, and it separates your poem from every other poem on a given subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play with different word choices.\", \"描述\": \"Some of the best poetry plays with words to produce unexpected phrasings and enjoyable sounds. This can take a lot of work, and it may involve some trial and error in replacing or entirely removing certain words to test the effects of those choices.\\nSay the words out loud to see how they sound, both individually and with one another.\\nRemove unnecessary words, including words like \\\"and,\\\" \\\"then,\\\" and \\\"because.\\\" Many of these and other words can be removed without causing the poem to lose clarity.\\nTry swapping out familiar or overused words with something new. Let yourself be surprised and see how the poem turns out differently with those changes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Work on developing striking similes and metaphors.\", \"描述\": \"A simile is a comparison using \\\"like\\\" or \\\"as.\\\" A metaphor uses 1 word, phrase, or concept to stand in for another word, phrase, or concept to show an otherwise abstract relationship. For example, a metaphor for beautiful eyes might be written, \\\"Her eyes are deep pools of mystery and misunderstanding.\\\" A simile for beautiful eyes might be, \\\"Her eyes are like deep pools that contain uncharted beauty.\\\"\\nPoetry often relies heavily on similes and metaphors for their imagistic effect and their ability to relate 2 seemingly disparate things in a short span of space.\\nThink about what a word really means, and find words that express similar things. For example, drowning can literally mean being incapable of swimming, but it can also describe a sense of feeling overwhelmed or overpowered.\\nThink about the symbolism of any words you choose. Even if you don't intend a word to carry a given symbolic meaning, some readers may interpret your work that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Choose concrete words over abstract words.\", \"描述\": \"Abstract words are concepts, feelings, or ideas that are intangible. While most people recognize what abstract words like \\\"happiness\\\" or \\\"sadness\\\" mean, it's much more difficult to create an image of those emotions with written words. Instead, poets rely on concrete words, which can be described using the 5 senses.\\nInstead of saying that a person is happy, use concrete words to describe that person's smile or the look in their eyes.\\nYou can also use a metaphor or simile with concrete words for added effect. For example, you might convey that a person was happy by saying, \\\"A smile cracked her stern face like ripples across a still pond.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,036 | How to Be Polite | 1. Greeting People Politely
1-1. Smile when greeting someone.
When first meeting or greeting someone, offer them a warm smile. Smiling indicates that you are in good spirits and are happy to see them. It helps to establish friendliness from the beginning as the smile is the first impression that people usually make when meeting someone.
In some cultures, such as Russia, smiling is not necessary.
1-2. Say hello.
Instead of just walking by someone you know or ignoring someone you are supposed to be meeting, greet them with a warm ‘hello.’ You do not need to wait for them to say it to you first; it’s okay to be the initiator.
For example, “Hello, Mr. Sanderson. It’s great to meet you! My name is Emma Payne and I work in cybersecurity.”
1-3. Shake hands
When meeting someone, take their hand into your right hand and grasp it firmly, shaking it up and down once. Respect the other person by not squeezing their hand too hard in an attempt to "dominate" them. If you know them well, you might hug them instead.
There are many different ways people around the world greet each other, and these greetings may not always involve handshaking. Be aware of what’s appropriate in the country you’re living in. You can go online to find out if you’re unsure.
1-4. Make eye contact if it is culturally appropriate.
When in conversation with someone, look them in the eyes a little over half the time you’re speaking. Maintaining eye contact shows that you are paying attention. Staring at them, however, can be perceived as creepy and rude. Break eye contact every so often to avoid staring.
Eye contact is usually seen as a sign of respect in Western culture. In some Eastern cultures, it can be seen as a sign of aggression. Don't make eye contact if the other person considers it rude.
People with certain conditions such as autism and social anxiety may find eye contact unnerving or distracting. If eye contact is hard for you, you can fake it by looking at someone's nose or chin. (They usually can't tell the difference.) If your conversation partner avoids eye contact, keep in mind that they may be shy or have a disability, and let it go.
2. Being Polite with Words
2-1. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.
’ When asking someone to do something for you, always say ‘please.’ After someone has done something for you, always say ‘thank you.’ Let others know that you appreciate and value their contributions.
You might say “Honey, can you pick my dry cleaning up today, please?”
Or you can say “Thank you for getting that memo to me about the job assignment so quickly.”
2-2. Make small talk.
Instead of jumping right into business or serious discussion with someone, make small talk first. Discuss their day, their kids, or the awesome Thai food they have for lunch. Talk about the movies or shows you’re watching lately or books that you’re reading. This will help break the ice.
Say something like “Hi Ms. Richardson! How’s your day going so far?” When she responds, you can say something like “Oh you just had your lunch break? What did you have?”
Try to remember details about the person you're speaking with, such as their partner or children's names, their birthday, or their anniversary. Be mindful of other issues and difficult life events.
Listen attentively and pay attention to what they are saying to you. Do not interrupt them when they are speaking, but show them you're interested by asking questions.
Avoid jargon and any vocabulary that others may not know. If you're discussing a complex topic, be careful not to speak arrogantly.
2-3. Address elders with respect.
In many communities, addressing elders by their first name can be seen as disrespectful. Instead, use “Mr.” and “Ms.” if you don’t know their professional title or marital status.
If they ask you to call them by their first name, you should do so.
Use these terms for anyone 15 years or more older than you.
2-4. Congratulate other people on their successes.
When others do well, offer them your praise. If you see someone you know in the grocery store who has recently graduated, gotten married, or gotten a promotion, congratulate them. Failing to do so can be perceived as rude.
Acknowledge sad times, as well. If you know someone in their family has recently died, express your condolences.
2-5. Avoid swear words in polite company.
Some people use curse words at home or with friends. If you are in a church, school, professional setting, or around people you don’t know well, keep your language tame.
2-6. Avoid gossiping.
Though it can be tempting to talk about people you know, avoid doing so. A polite person does not spread demeaning information about others, whether it’s true or not. If others are gossiping around you, change the subject or walk away.
2-7. Recognize inappropriate topics.
Some conversation topics can make people upset or uncomfortable, and you can risk hurting other people's feelings if you accidentally make an insensitive comment. While they are sometimes okay to discuss with close friends, they're often inappropriate in polite conversation or when getting to know someone. Try to steer the conversation towards pleasant or at least decent areas, and avoid causing friction in a polite setting.
Sex, violence, death, medical details, and politics usually make people uncomfortable. Avoid these topics in polite conversation, especially if you don't know your conversation partner very well.
Don't point out things about a person that they might perceive as a flaw. For example, if someone is overweight, don't mention it. Avoid commenting on people's body size, body parts, habits, disabilities, or other potentially sensitive topics.
Avoid intrusive questions towards someone who is different from you. For example, it's not appropriate to ask a wheelchair user "What happened to your legs?" or to ask a person of color "No, where are you REALLY from?"
2-8. Avoid pressuring other people.
Never push anyone to do anything that they've expressed discomfort with, from romantic pursuits to ordinary activities. If their body language involves signs of discomfort, slow down or stop. If they express a boundary, respect it immediately.
If you think someone might be feeling pressured, say "There's no pressure" or "Please feel free not to take my advice if it doesn't suit you."
If you think you might have crossed a boundary, you can say "I'm sorry. Have I made you uncomfortable?" or "Would you like me to stop?"
2-9. Apologize when you do wrong.
Everyone makes social mistakes from time to time, no matter how hard they may try. When you do mess up, apologize genuinely and immediately. Express that you’re sorry and make plans to avoid the behavior in the future.
For instance, perhaps you flaked on your friend this weekend on a party you two had planned to go to for weeks. Say “I’m so sorry about this Friday. I got really tired after work and just wanted to sleep. That doesn’t make it okay though, so I apologize. Let’s go out this weekend.”
3. Being Polite with Actions
3-1. Be early.
Be respectful of other’s time. If you have a meeting or appointment with someone, try to arrive at least five minutes early as being late in some cultures is considered very offensive. You never know what kind of traffic you’ll run into, so leave early to be prepared.
3-2. Dress appropriately for the occasion.
When invited to events, check the invite to see the dress code. If you don’t know what the dress code means, use your favorite search engine to look up what term your host used and find examples of suitable outfits. You could also ask the host what would be acceptable.
For instance, if an event is business casual, then you should wear a nice shirt and slacks or a skirt. You can wear a blazer or cardigan as well.
Make sure your clothes are ironed and clean.
3-3. Maintain your hygiene.
In addition to your clothing, be sure to keep up your hygiene. Shower daily and wear deodorant and lotion. Keep your hair clean, neat, and out of your face.
3-4. Know proper dinner party manners.
For silverware, go from the outside, in. Place your napkin on your lap, and do not add anything to the table that was not there when you got there (cell phone, glasses, jewelry). Put your purse between your feet and under your chair. You should not apply makeup at the table, so if you want to fix your makeup or check if something is in your teeth, go to the restroom.
Don’t begin eating until everyone else is served.
Chew with your mouth closed and don’t talk if your mouth is full.
Avoid foods with foul odors that will linger on your breath.
Don’t slurp your food.
Don’t put your elbows on the table and don’t reach over people for another helping. Ask if they can pass it to you.
Don't play excessively with your hair.
Avoid habits that other people might see as disgusting. Don't chew your fingernails or fingers. Avoid picking at your ears or nose. Instead, excuse yourself if you need to blow your nose or use the restroom to clean up.
3-5. Observe others when in doubt.
How are they greeting and addressing each other? What are they doing with their coats? What kinds of topics are they discussing? Different settings require different standards of formality, and those standards often define what is polite and what is not. So when you don’t know, look to the host or other guests for guidance.
Tips
Try not to interrupt people when they're talking to someone else or in the middle of something.
Treat everyone the same no matter their background, race, appearance, etc.
Take your hat off when greeting someone, entering a room, and when the national anthem is being played or sung.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Greeting People Politely\\n1-1. Smile when greeting someone.\\nWhen first meeting or greeting someone, offer them a warm smile. Smiling indicates that you are in good spirits and are happy to see them. It helps to establish friendliness from the beginning as the smile is the first impression that people usually make when meeting someone.\\nIn some cultures, such as Russia, smiling is not necessary.\\n1-2. Say hello.\\nInstead of just walking by someone you know or ignoring someone you are supposed to be meeting, greet them with a warm ‘hello.’ You do not need to wait for them to say it to you first; it’s okay to be the initiator.\\nFor example, “Hello, Mr. Sanderson. It’s great to meet you! My name is Emma Payne and I work in cybersecurity.”\\n1-3. Shake hands\\nWhen meeting someone, take their hand into your right hand and grasp it firmly, shaking it up and down once. Respect the other person by not squeezing their hand too hard in an attempt to \\\"dominate\\\" them. If you know them well, you might hug them instead. \\nThere are many different ways people around the world greet each other, and these greetings may not always involve handshaking. Be aware of what’s appropriate in the country you’re living in. You can go online to find out if you’re unsure.\\n1-4. Make eye contact if it is culturally appropriate.\\nWhen in conversation with someone, look them in the eyes a little over half the time you’re speaking. Maintaining eye contact shows that you are paying attention. Staring at them, however, can be perceived as creepy and rude. Break eye contact every so often to avoid staring. \\nEye contact is usually seen as a sign of respect in Western culture. In some Eastern cultures, it can be seen as a sign of aggression. Don't make eye contact if the other person considers it rude.\\nPeople with certain conditions such as autism and social anxiety may find eye contact unnerving or distracting. If eye contact is hard for you, you can fake it by looking at someone's nose or chin. (They usually can't tell the difference.) If your conversation partner avoids eye contact, keep in mind that they may be shy or have a disability, and let it go.\\n2. Being Polite with Words\\n2-1. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.\\n’ When asking someone to do something for you, always say ‘please.’ After someone has done something for you, always say ‘thank you.’ Let others know that you appreciate and value their contributions.\\nYou might say “Honey, can you pick my dry cleaning up today, please?”\\nOr you can say “Thank you for getting that memo to me about the job assignment so quickly.”\\n2-2. Make small talk.\\nInstead of jumping right into business or serious discussion with someone, make small talk first. Discuss their day, their kids, or the awesome Thai food they have for lunch. Talk about the movies or shows you’re watching lately or books that you’re reading. This will help break the ice.\\nSay something like “Hi Ms. Richardson! How’s your day going so far?” When she responds, you can say something like “Oh you just had your lunch break? What did you have?”\\nTry to remember details about the person you're speaking with, such as their partner or children's names, their birthday, or their anniversary. Be mindful of other issues and difficult life events.\\nListen attentively and pay attention to what they are saying to you. Do not interrupt them when they are speaking, but show them you're interested by asking questions.\\nAvoid jargon and any vocabulary that others may not know. If you're discussing a complex topic, be careful not to speak arrogantly.\\n2-3. Address elders with respect.\\nIn many communities, addressing elders by their first name can be seen as disrespectful. Instead, use “Mr.” and “Ms.” if you don’t know their professional title or marital status. \\nIf they ask you to call them by their first name, you should do so.\\nUse these terms for anyone 15 years or more older than you.\\n2-4. Congratulate other people on their successes.\\nWhen others do well, offer them your praise. If you see someone you know in the grocery store who has recently graduated, gotten married, or gotten a promotion, congratulate them. Failing to do so can be perceived as rude. \\nAcknowledge sad times, as well. If you know someone in their family has recently died, express your condolences.\\n2-5. Avoid swear words in polite company.\\nSome people use curse words at home or with friends. If you are in a church, school, professional setting, or around people you don’t know well, keep your language tame.\\n2-6. Avoid gossiping.\\nThough it can be tempting to talk about people you know, avoid doing so. A polite person does not spread demeaning information about others, whether it’s true or not. If others are gossiping around you, change the subject or walk away.\\n2-7. Recognize inappropriate topics.\\nSome conversation topics can make people upset or uncomfortable, and you can risk hurting other people's feelings if you accidentally make an insensitive comment. While they are sometimes okay to discuss with close friends, they're often inappropriate in polite conversation or when getting to know someone. Try to steer the conversation towards pleasant or at least decent areas, and avoid causing friction in a polite setting. \\nSex, violence, death, medical details, and politics usually make people uncomfortable. Avoid these topics in polite conversation, especially if you don't know your conversation partner very well.\\nDon't point out things about a person that they might perceive as a flaw. For example, if someone is overweight, don't mention it. Avoid commenting on people's body size, body parts, habits, disabilities, or other potentially sensitive topics.\\nAvoid intrusive questions towards someone who is different from you. For example, it's not appropriate to ask a wheelchair user \\\"What happened to your legs?\\\" or to ask a person of color \\\"No, where are you REALLY from?\\\"\\n2-8. Avoid pressuring other people.\\nNever push anyone to do anything that they've expressed discomfort with, from romantic pursuits to ordinary activities. If their body language involves signs of discomfort, slow down or stop. If they express a boundary, respect it immediately. \\nIf you think someone might be feeling pressured, say \\\"There's no pressure\\\" or \\\"Please feel free not to take my advice if it doesn't suit you.\\\"\\nIf you think you might have crossed a boundary, you can say \\\"I'm sorry. Have I made you uncomfortable?\\\" or \\\"Would you like me to stop?\\\"\\n2-9. Apologize when you do wrong.\\nEveryone makes social mistakes from time to time, no matter how hard they may try. When you do mess up, apologize genuinely and immediately. Express that you’re sorry and make plans to avoid the behavior in the future. \\nFor instance, perhaps you flaked on your friend this weekend on a party you two had planned to go to for weeks. Say “I’m so sorry about this Friday. I got really tired after work and just wanted to sleep. That doesn’t make it okay though, so I apologize. Let’s go out this weekend.”\\n3. Being Polite with Actions\\n3-1. Be early.\\nBe respectful of other’s time. If you have a meeting or appointment with someone, try to arrive at least five minutes early as being late in some cultures is considered very offensive. You never know what kind of traffic you’ll run into, so leave early to be prepared.\\n3-2. Dress appropriately for the occasion.\\nWhen invited to events, check the invite to see the dress code. If you don’t know what the dress code means, use your favorite search engine to look up what term your host used and find examples of suitable outfits. You could also ask the host what would be acceptable. \\nFor instance, if an event is business casual, then you should wear a nice shirt and slacks or a skirt. You can wear a blazer or cardigan as well.\\nMake sure your clothes are ironed and clean.\\n3-3. Maintain your hygiene.\\nIn addition to your clothing, be sure to keep up your hygiene. Shower daily and wear deodorant and lotion. Keep your hair clean, neat, and out of your face.\\n3-4. Know proper dinner party manners.\\nFor silverware, go from the outside, in. Place your napkin on your lap, and do not add anything to the table that was not there when you got there (cell phone, glasses, jewelry). Put your purse between your feet and under your chair. You should not apply makeup at the table, so if you want to fix your makeup or check if something is in your teeth, go to the restroom. \\nDon’t begin eating until everyone else is served.\\nChew with your mouth closed and don’t talk if your mouth is full.\\nAvoid foods with foul odors that will linger on your breath.\\nDon’t slurp your food.\\nDon’t put your elbows on the table and don’t reach over people for another helping. Ask if they can pass it to you.\\nDon't play excessively with your hair.\\nAvoid habits that other people might see as disgusting. Don't chew your fingernails or fingers. Avoid picking at your ears or nose. Instead, excuse yourself if you need to blow your nose or use the restroom to clean up.\\n3-5. Observe others when in doubt.\\nHow are they greeting and addressing each other? What are they doing with their coats? What kinds of topics are they discussing? Different settings require different standards of formality, and those standards often define what is polite and what is not. So when you don’t know, look to the host or other guests for guidance.\\nTips\\nTry not to interrupt people when they're talking to someone else or in the middle of something.\\nTreat everyone the same no matter their background, race, appearance, etc.\\nTake your hat off when greeting someone, entering a room, and when the national anthem is being played or sung.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being polite can help you have better relationships with people and even open doors for you professionally. It’s also a great way to make other people feel appreciated and comfortable around you. The best part? Politeness is easy to learn and will become second nature the more you practice. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t worry. Below you’ll find simple steps you can take to start being more polite with other people, including friends, family, coworkers, and strangers.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Greeting People Politely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile when greeting someone.\", \"描述\": \"When first meeting or greeting someone, offer them a warm smile. Smiling indicates that you are in good spirits and are happy to see them. It helps to establish friendliness from the beginning as the smile is the first impression that people usually make when meeting someone.\\nIn some cultures, such as Russia, smiling is not necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say hello.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of just walking by someone you know or ignoring someone you are supposed to be meeting, greet them with a warm ‘hello.’ You do not need to wait for them to say it to you first; it’s okay to be the initiator.\\nFor example, “Hello, Mr. Sanderson. It’s great to meet you! My name is Emma Payne and I work in cybersecurity.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Shake hands\", \"描述\": \"When meeting someone, take their hand into your right hand and grasp it firmly, shaking it up and down once. Respect the other person by not squeezing their hand too hard in an attempt to \\\"dominate\\\" them. If you know them well, you might hug them instead. \\nThere are many different ways people around the world greet each other, and these greetings may not always involve handshaking. Be aware of what’s appropriate in the country you’re living in. You can go online to find out if you’re unsure.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact if it is culturally appropriate.\", \"描述\": \"When in conversation with someone, look them in the eyes a little over half the time you’re speaking. Maintaining eye contact shows that you are paying attention. Staring at them, however, can be perceived as creepy and rude. Break eye contact every so often to avoid staring. \\nEye contact is usually seen as a sign of respect in Western culture. In some Eastern cultures, it can be seen as a sign of aggression. Don't make eye contact if the other person considers it rude.\\nPeople with certain conditions such as autism and social anxiety may find eye contact unnerving or distracting. If eye contact is hard for you, you can fake it by looking at someone's nose or chin. (They usually can't tell the difference.) If your conversation partner avoids eye contact, keep in mind that they may be shy or have a disability, and let it go.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Polite with Words\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.\", \"描述\": \"’ When asking someone to do something for you, always say ‘please.’ After someone has done something for you, always say ‘thank you.’ Let others know that you appreciate and value their contributions.\\nYou might say “Honey, can you pick my dry cleaning up today, please?”\\nOr you can say “Thank you for getting that memo to me about the job assignment so quickly.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make small talk.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of jumping right into business or serious discussion with someone, make small talk first. Discuss their day, their kids, or the awesome Thai food they have for lunch. Talk about the movies or shows you’re watching lately or books that you’re reading. This will help break the ice.\\nSay something like “Hi Ms. Richardson! How’s your day going so far?” When she responds, you can say something like “Oh you just had your lunch break? What did you have?”\\nTry to remember details about the person you're speaking with, such as their partner or children's names, their birthday, or their anniversary. Be mindful of other issues and difficult life events.\\nListen attentively and pay attention to what they are saying to you. Do not interrupt them when they are speaking, but show them you're interested by asking questions.\\nAvoid jargon and any vocabulary that others may not know. If you're discussing a complex topic, be careful not to speak arrogantly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address elders with respect.\", \"描述\": \"In many communities, addressing elders by their first name can be seen as disrespectful. Instead, use “Mr.” and “Ms.” if you don’t know their professional title or marital status. \\nIf they ask you to call them by their first name, you should do so.\\nUse these terms for anyone 15 years or more older than you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Congratulate other people on their successes.\", \"描述\": \"When others do well, offer them your praise. If you see someone you know in the grocery store who has recently graduated, gotten married, or gotten a promotion, congratulate them. Failing to do so can be perceived as rude. \\nAcknowledge sad times, as well. If you know someone in their family has recently died, express your condolences.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid swear words in polite company.\", \"描述\": \"Some people use curse words at home or with friends. If you are in a church, school, professional setting, or around people you don’t know well, keep your language tame.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossiping.\", \"描述\": \"Though it can be tempting to talk about people you know, avoid doing so. A polite person does not spread demeaning information about others, whether it’s true or not. If others are gossiping around you, change the subject or walk away.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Recognize inappropriate topics.\", \"描述\": \"Some conversation topics can make people upset or uncomfortable, and you can risk hurting other people's feelings if you accidentally make an insensitive comment. While they are sometimes okay to discuss with close friends, they're often inappropriate in polite conversation or when getting to know someone. Try to steer the conversation towards pleasant or at least decent areas, and avoid causing friction in a polite setting. \\nSex, violence, death, medical details, and politics usually make people uncomfortable. Avoid these topics in polite conversation, especially if you don't know your conversation partner very well.\\nDon't point out things about a person that they might perceive as a flaw. For example, if someone is overweight, don't mention it. Avoid commenting on people's body size, body parts, habits, disabilities, or other potentially sensitive topics.\\nAvoid intrusive questions towards someone who is different from you. For example, it's not appropriate to ask a wheelchair user \\\"What happened to your legs?\\\" or to ask a person of color \\\"No, where are you REALLY from?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid pressuring other people.\", \"描述\": \"Never push anyone to do anything that they've expressed discomfort with, from romantic pursuits to ordinary activities. If their body language involves signs of discomfort, slow down or stop. If they express a boundary, respect it immediately. \\nIf you think someone might be feeling pressured, say \\\"There's no pressure\\\" or \\\"Please feel free not to take my advice if it doesn't suit you.\\\"\\nIf you think you might have crossed a boundary, you can say \\\"I'm sorry. Have I made you uncomfortable?\\\" or \\\"Would you like me to stop?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Apologize when you do wrong.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone makes social mistakes from time to time, no matter how hard they may try. When you do mess up, apologize genuinely and immediately. Express that you’re sorry and make plans to avoid the behavior in the future. \\nFor instance, perhaps you flaked on your friend this weekend on a party you two had planned to go to for weeks. Say “I’m so sorry about this Friday. I got really tired after work and just wanted to sleep. That doesn’t make it okay though, so I apologize. Let’s go out this weekend.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Polite with Actions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be early.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful of other’s time. If you have a meeting or appointment with someone, try to arrive at least five minutes early as being late in some cultures is considered very offensive. You never know what kind of traffic you’ll run into, so leave early to be prepared.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress appropriately for the occasion.\", \"描述\": \"When invited to events, check the invite to see the dress code. If you don’t know what the dress code means, use your favorite search engine to look up what term your host used and find examples of suitable outfits. You could also ask the host what would be acceptable. \\nFor instance, if an event is business casual, then you should wear a nice shirt and slacks or a skirt. You can wear a blazer or cardigan as well.\\nMake sure your clothes are ironed and clean.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain your hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to your clothing, be sure to keep up your hygiene. Shower daily and wear deodorant and lotion. Keep your hair clean, neat, and out of your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know proper dinner party manners.\", \"描述\": \"For silverware, go from the outside, in. Place your napkin on your lap, and do not add anything to the table that was not there when you got there (cell phone, glasses, jewelry). Put your purse between your feet and under your chair. You should not apply makeup at the table, so if you want to fix your makeup or check if something is in your teeth, go to the restroom. \\nDon’t begin eating until everyone else is served.\\nChew with your mouth closed and don’t talk if your mouth is full.\\nAvoid foods with foul odors that will linger on your breath.\\nDon’t slurp your food.\\nDon’t put your elbows on the table and don’t reach over people for another helping. Ask if they can pass it to you.\\nDon't play excessively with your hair.\\nAvoid habits that other people might see as disgusting. Don't chew your fingernails or fingers. Avoid picking at your ears or nose. Instead, excuse yourself if you need to blow your nose or use the restroom to clean up.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Observe others when in doubt.\", \"描述\": \"How are they greeting and addressing each other? What are they doing with their coats? What kinds of topics are they discussing? Different settings require different standards of formality, and those standards often define what is polite and what is not. So when you don’t know, look to the host or other guests for guidance.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try not to interrupt people when they're talking to someone else or in the middle of something.\\n\", \"Treat everyone the same no matter their background, race, appearance, etc.\\n\", \"Take your hat off when greeting someone, entering a room, and when the national anthem is being played or sung.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,037 | How to Be Polite at a Dinner | 1. Using Common Table Manners
1-1. Don’t talk with your mouth full.
Most people will agree that talking while chewing is the number one no-no at the dinner table. Not only is it difficult to understand what is being said, but it can also be unappetizing. If you have something to say, wait until you have swallowed your last bite before jumping into the conversation.
1-2. Avoid chewing loudly.
It is also a good idea to keep your mouth closed while you are chewing. The sound of food smacking in your mouth can be both annoying and distracting. In fact, the term misophonia describes a revulsion to loud chewing.
1-3. Use serving utensils.
There are some instances when it is acceptable to eat food with your hands, such as when eating pizza. However, it is never okay to grab food from communal dishes using your fingers. Instead, you should always use the serving utensils that are provided.
1-4. Don’t pick food off other people’s plates.
This is especially true if they have not even taken a bite yet. If you are regretting your meal choice and one of your friends has been presented with a more appealing dish, you could say, “Your pasta looks amazing!” If you are lucky, you friend will offer you a small sample.
1-5. Be considerate of different cultural practices.
Some cultures follow different rules and table manners. For example, in some Asian cultures soup is eaten without using a spoon. Instead, the bowl is brought directly to the mouth. If you are unsure of any cultural practices, ask your host or imitate what other guests are doing.
2. Being a Courteous Dinner Guest
2-1. Arrive on time.
Your host will want to serve the dinner hot and arriving late might delay the meal. As a general rule, you should try to arrive within 15 minutes of the requested start time. Do not show up too early. Your host may still be getting ready and it is a nuisance if someone shows up ahead of schedule.
If you arrive early walk around the block a few times or read in your car until the scheduled arrival time.
If you are going to be tardy, text or call the host in advance and tell them your estimated arrival time. If you are going to be over an hour late, tell the host to begin the evening without you and apologize.
2-2. Disclose food allergies or aversions well ahead of time.
If you are invited over to a friend's for dinner, you should always tell them about any food allergies or taste preferences in advance. Your friend would much rather plan their meal around your allergy, than feel guilty that you are unable to eat anything on the night of.
For instance, if you don't eat pork for religious reasons, or any type of meat on moral grounds, your should communicate this to the host in advance.
You could also offer to bring something along to make it easier for your friend to accommodate your dietary needs.
2-3. Don’t bring a plus-one without permission.
If you have been invited over to a friend’s house for dinner, never show up with an additional guest who was not invited. Instead, if you would like your new partner to accompany you to a dinner party, call the host in advance to make sure this is alright. In most cases, your friend will gladly lay out another table setting.
2-4. Present yourself in a clean, well-dressed manner.
Your clothes should make you feel comfortable and confident. Make sure you know the atmosphere and theme in advance. For example, arriving in shorts when the other guests are wearing tuxedos and evening dresses does not make a good impression and you will likely feel uncomfortable and out of place all evening.
2-5. Bring a small gift.
A great gift for the host can range from a bottle of wine, to a bouquet of flowers, to an edible treat, such as fresh jams or chocolates. A gift is a nice way to thank the host for having you over for dinner and signals your appreciation.
If you are invited to a casual dinner, such as a backyard barbecue or a close friend or relative's house, you could ask if there is anything you could contribute to the meal. For example, you could make a side-dish or a dessert.
In some instances a host will inform guests not to bring any gifts; if this is the case, you should respect the wishes of the host.
2-6. Ignore your phone.
It is extremely rude to spend your evening texting other people or checking your social media accounts. Instead, you should engage in the conversation. By constantly checking your phone, you are signaling to the host and other guests that you are bored or would rather be somewhere else.
There are a few exceptions to this rule. If you receive an emergency call from the babysitter, for example, you can quietly duck out of the room for a few minutes to take the call.
2-7. Carry on polite conversation.
Talk, but try to keep your voice peaceful and polite. Talk about general topics that everyone feels comfortable engaging in. Do not interrupt others. Instead, let them talk and show that you are listening by nodding along and keeping eye contact. Ask questions about the host, the food, and other guests. This is the best way to demonstrate that you are engaged and enjoying the company!
Avoid sensitive topics of conversations, such as politics, religion, and sex.
Instead, stick to relatable topics like work, kids, hobbies, or vacations.
2-8. Thank your host for a lovely evening.
Before leaving for the evening, you should always thank your host for the delicious meal. You can even take this one step further and reciprocate the gesture by inviting the host to dine at your house next time. This is a great way to demonstrate your appreciation.
If you forget to say thank-you at the end of the night, you can always send the host an email the following day.
3. Following Fine Dining Etiquette
3-1. Place your napkin in your lap.
Before you begin eating, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap. This way no food will drop onto your clothing while you are eating. You should never tuck your napkin into the front of your shirt or dress when engaging in a fine dining experience.
Place the napkin on your chair any time you leave the table temporarily.
At the end of the meal, neatly fold the napkin and set it to the left of your place setting.
3-2. Use cutlery in the proper order.
At a very formal dinner, you may notice three sets of cutlery around your plate. Forks will be positioned to the left of your plate (with salad forks furthest to the left and dinner forks closest to your plate), knives will be to the right of your plate, and spoons will be above your plate or to the right of the knives. Always work your way inwards with each dish. This means that the cutlery positioned farthest from your plate should be used for the first course.
If you are still unsure of which utensils to use first, watch what other people at the table are doing and follow their lead.
3-3. Hold your cutlery properly.
Hold your fork in your left hand, with the tines facing down. Hold your knife with your right hand. Always use your fork to spear your food and lift it to your mouth, instead of your knife. When using a spoon, dip your spoon into the center of the bowl. Scoop the liquid by moving the spoon away from you toward the farthest side of the bowl. Bring the spoon to your mouth and sip from the spoon.
3-4. Begin eating once all meals are served.
It is rude to begin eating while other people at your table are still waiting for their food to be served. The only exception to this rule is if the host requests that you begin eating, or if your fellow diners tell you to start eating before your food gets cold.
3-5. Taste the food before seasoning.
Most chefs pride themselves on perfectly seasoning their dishes. As a result, it can be seen as a rude gesture to season your food before tasting it. At some high end restaurants there will not even be salt and pepper available on the table. Always taste the food first and then determine if you would like some added seasoning.
3-6. Don’t reach across the table.
If you can't reach the bread basket or table seasoning, do not reach across the table to fetch it yourself. Instead, you should politely ask someone to pass it to you. Always pass items to the right, rather than the left, if you’re not passing a dish to a specific person. Pass the salt and pepper together as a pair, as well.
Try saying something along these lines: “Excuse me, Jim. Could you please pass me the butter?”
3-7. Excuse yourself before leaving the table.
If you need to leave the table to go to the washroom, make a quick phone call, or touch up your make-up, that is understandable. Simply stand up, place your napkin on your chair and say “please excuse me.” You don’t need to give any details about why you wish to leave the table, but you should never try to sneak off without excusing yourself first.
If you have to leave early and will not be returning, you should give a brief explanation and apologize to the guests before departing.
Tips
Offering a toast to the hosts during dinner is a great way to show your appreciation.[21]
X
Expert Source
Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
Never serve yourself first. Let someone else initiate serving the food.
Don't put anything on the table, like your cell phone or car keys. If it wasn't there when you arrived, don't add it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Common Table Manners\\n1-1. Don’t talk with your mouth full.\\nMost people will agree that talking while chewing is the number one no-no at the dinner table. Not only is it difficult to understand what is being said, but it can also be unappetizing. If you have something to say, wait until you have swallowed your last bite before jumping into the conversation.\\n1-2. Avoid chewing loudly.\\nIt is also a good idea to keep your mouth closed while you are chewing. The sound of food smacking in your mouth can be both annoying and distracting. In fact, the term misophonia describes a revulsion to loud chewing.\\n1-3. Use serving utensils.\\nThere are some instances when it is acceptable to eat food with your hands, such as when eating pizza. However, it is never okay to grab food from communal dishes using your fingers. Instead, you should always use the serving utensils that are provided.\\n1-4. Don’t pick food off other people’s plates.\\nThis is especially true if they have not even taken a bite yet. If you are regretting your meal choice and one of your friends has been presented with a more appealing dish, you could say, “Your pasta looks amazing!” If you are lucky, you friend will offer you a small sample.\\n1-5. Be considerate of different cultural practices.\\nSome cultures follow different rules and table manners. For example, in some Asian cultures soup is eaten without using a spoon. Instead, the bowl is brought directly to the mouth. If you are unsure of any cultural practices, ask your host or imitate what other guests are doing.\\n2. Being a Courteous Dinner Guest\\n2-1. Arrive on time.\\nYour host will want to serve the dinner hot and arriving late might delay the meal. As a general rule, you should try to arrive within 15 minutes of the requested start time. Do not show up too early. Your host may still be getting ready and it is a nuisance if someone shows up ahead of schedule.\\nIf you arrive early walk around the block a few times or read in your car until the scheduled arrival time.\\nIf you are going to be tardy, text or call the host in advance and tell them your estimated arrival time. If you are going to be over an hour late, tell the host to begin the evening without you and apologize.\\n2-2. Disclose food allergies or aversions well ahead of time.\\nIf you are invited over to a friend's for dinner, you should always tell them about any food allergies or taste preferences in advance. Your friend would much rather plan their meal around your allergy, than feel guilty that you are unable to eat anything on the night of.\\nFor instance, if you don't eat pork for religious reasons, or any type of meat on moral grounds, your should communicate this to the host in advance.\\nYou could also offer to bring something along to make it easier for your friend to accommodate your dietary needs.\\n2-3. Don’t bring a plus-one without permission.\\nIf you have been invited over to a friend’s house for dinner, never show up with an additional guest who was not invited. Instead, if you would like your new partner to accompany you to a dinner party, call the host in advance to make sure this is alright. In most cases, your friend will gladly lay out another table setting.\\n2-4. Present yourself in a clean, well-dressed manner.\\nYour clothes should make you feel comfortable and confident. Make sure you know the atmosphere and theme in advance. For example, arriving in shorts when the other guests are wearing tuxedos and evening dresses does not make a good impression and you will likely feel uncomfortable and out of place all evening.\\n2-5. Bring a small gift.\\nA great gift for the host can range from a bottle of wine, to a bouquet of flowers, to an edible treat, such as fresh jams or chocolates. A gift is a nice way to thank the host for having you over for dinner and signals your appreciation.\\nIf you are invited to a casual dinner, such as a backyard barbecue or a close friend or relative's house, you could ask if there is anything you could contribute to the meal. For example, you could make a side-dish or a dessert.\\nIn some instances a host will inform guests not to bring any gifts; if this is the case, you should respect the wishes of the host.\\n2-6. Ignore your phone.\\nIt is extremely rude to spend your evening texting other people or checking your social media accounts. Instead, you should engage in the conversation. By constantly checking your phone, you are signaling to the host and other guests that you are bored or would rather be somewhere else.\\nThere are a few exceptions to this rule. If you receive an emergency call from the babysitter, for example, you can quietly duck out of the room for a few minutes to take the call.\\n2-7. Carry on polite conversation.\\nTalk, but try to keep your voice peaceful and polite. Talk about general topics that everyone feels comfortable engaging in. Do not interrupt others. Instead, let them talk and show that you are listening by nodding along and keeping eye contact. Ask questions about the host, the food, and other guests. This is the best way to demonstrate that you are engaged and enjoying the company!\\nAvoid sensitive topics of conversations, such as politics, religion, and sex.\\nInstead, stick to relatable topics like work, kids, hobbies, or vacations.\\n2-8. Thank your host for a lovely evening.\\nBefore leaving for the evening, you should always thank your host for the delicious meal. You can even take this one step further and reciprocate the gesture by inviting the host to dine at your house next time. This is a great way to demonstrate your appreciation.\\nIf you forget to say thank-you at the end of the night, you can always send the host an email the following day.\\n3. Following Fine Dining Etiquette\\n3-1. Place your napkin in your lap.\\nBefore you begin eating, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap. This way no food will drop onto your clothing while you are eating. You should never tuck your napkin into the front of your shirt or dress when engaging in a fine dining experience.\\nPlace the napkin on your chair any time you leave the table temporarily.\\nAt the end of the meal, neatly fold the napkin and set it to the left of your place setting.\\n3-2. Use cutlery in the proper order.\\nAt a very formal dinner, you may notice three sets of cutlery around your plate. Forks will be positioned to the left of your plate (with salad forks furthest to the left and dinner forks closest to your plate), knives will be to the right of your plate, and spoons will be above your plate or to the right of the knives. Always work your way inwards with each dish. This means that the cutlery positioned farthest from your plate should be used for the first course.\\nIf you are still unsure of which utensils to use first, watch what other people at the table are doing and follow their lead.\\n3-3. Hold your cutlery properly.\\nHold your fork in your left hand, with the tines facing down. Hold your knife with your right hand. Always use your fork to spear your food and lift it to your mouth, instead of your knife. When using a spoon, dip your spoon into the center of the bowl. Scoop the liquid by moving the spoon away from you toward the farthest side of the bowl. Bring the spoon to your mouth and sip from the spoon.\\n3-4. Begin eating once all meals are served.\\nIt is rude to begin eating while other people at your table are still waiting for their food to be served. The only exception to this rule is if the host requests that you begin eating, or if your fellow diners tell you to start eating before your food gets cold.\\n3-5. Taste the food before seasoning.\\nMost chefs pride themselves on perfectly seasoning their dishes. As a result, it can be seen as a rude gesture to season your food before tasting it. At some high end restaurants there will not even be salt and pepper available on the table. Always taste the food first and then determine if you would like some added seasoning.\\n3-6. Don’t reach across the table.\\nIf you can't reach the bread basket or table seasoning, do not reach across the table to fetch it yourself. Instead, you should politely ask someone to pass it to you. Always pass items to the right, rather than the left, if you’re not passing a dish to a specific person. Pass the salt and pepper together as a pair, as well.\\nTry saying something along these lines: “Excuse me, Jim. Could you please pass me the butter?”\\n3-7. Excuse yourself before leaving the table.\\nIf you need to leave the table to go to the washroom, make a quick phone call, or touch up your make-up, that is understandable. Simply stand up, place your napkin on your chair and say “please excuse me.” You don’t need to give any details about why you wish to leave the table, but you should never try to sneak off without excusing yourself first.\\nIf you have to leave early and will not be returning, you should give a brief explanation and apologize to the guests before departing.\\nTips\\nOffering a toast to the hosts during dinner is a great way to show your appreciation.[21]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nTami ClaytorEtiquette Coach\\nExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.\\nNever serve yourself first. Let someone else initiate serving the food.\\nDon't put anything on the table, like your cell phone or car keys. If it wasn't there when you arrived, don't add it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Table manners and etiquette rules change over time. Although you no longer need to follow upper class British standards of etiquette, you should demonstrate a certain level of politeness while dining with friends, family, or co-workers. Make sure to always use common table manners and be appreciative and generous towards the host. If you are dining at a fancy restaurant, make sure to follow fine dining etiquette.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Common Table Manners\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t talk with your mouth full.\", \"描述\": \"Most people will agree that talking while chewing is the number one no-no at the dinner table. Not only is it difficult to understand what is being said, but it can also be unappetizing. If you have something to say, wait until you have swallowed your last bite before jumping into the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid chewing loudly.\", \"描述\": \"It is also a good idea to keep your mouth closed while you are chewing. The sound of food smacking in your mouth can be both annoying and distracting. In fact, the term misophonia describes a revulsion to loud chewing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use serving utensils.\", \"描述\": \"There are some instances when it is acceptable to eat food with your hands, such as when eating pizza. However, it is never okay to grab food from communal dishes using your fingers. Instead, you should always use the serving utensils that are provided.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t pick food off other people’s plates.\", \"描述\": \"This is especially true if they have not even taken a bite yet. If you are regretting your meal choice and one of your friends has been presented with a more appealing dish, you could say, “Your pasta looks amazing!” If you are lucky, you friend will offer you a small sample.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be considerate of different cultural practices.\", \"描述\": \"Some cultures follow different rules and table manners. For example, in some Asian cultures soup is eaten without using a spoon. Instead, the bowl is brought directly to the mouth. If you are unsure of any cultural practices, ask your host or imitate what other guests are doing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being a Courteous Dinner Guest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrive on time.\", \"描述\": \"Your host will want to serve the dinner hot and arriving late might delay the meal. As a general rule, you should try to arrive within 15 minutes of the requested start time. Do not show up too early. Your host may still be getting ready and it is a nuisance if someone shows up ahead of schedule.\\nIf you arrive early walk around the block a few times or read in your car until the scheduled arrival time.\\nIf you are going to be tardy, text or call the host in advance and tell them your estimated arrival time. If you are going to be over an hour late, tell the host to begin the evening without you and apologize.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Disclose food allergies or aversions well ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"If you are invited over to a friend's for dinner, you should always tell them about any food allergies or taste preferences in advance. Your friend would much rather plan their meal around your allergy, than feel guilty that you are unable to eat anything on the night of.\\nFor instance, if you don't eat pork for religious reasons, or any type of meat on moral grounds, your should communicate this to the host in advance.\\nYou could also offer to bring something along to make it easier for your friend to accommodate your dietary needs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t bring a plus-one without permission.\", \"描述\": \"If you have been invited over to a friend’s house for dinner, never show up with an additional guest who was not invited. Instead, if you would like your new partner to accompany you to a dinner party, call the host in advance to make sure this is alright. In most cases, your friend will gladly lay out another table setting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Present yourself in a clean, well-dressed manner.\", \"描述\": \"Your clothes should make you feel comfortable and confident. Make sure you know the atmosphere and theme in advance. For example, arriving in shorts when the other guests are wearing tuxedos and evening dresses does not make a good impression and you will likely feel uncomfortable and out of place all evening.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Bring a small gift.\", \"描述\": \"A great gift for the host can range from a bottle of wine, to a bouquet of flowers, to an edible treat, such as fresh jams or chocolates. A gift is a nice way to thank the host for having you over for dinner and signals your appreciation.\\nIf you are invited to a casual dinner, such as a backyard barbecue or a close friend or relative's house, you could ask if there is anything you could contribute to the meal. For example, you could make a side-dish or a dessert.\\nIn some instances a host will inform guests not to bring any gifts; if this is the case, you should respect the wishes of the host.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ignore your phone.\", \"描述\": \"It is extremely rude to spend your evening texting other people or checking your social media accounts. Instead, you should engage in the conversation. By constantly checking your phone, you are signaling to the host and other guests that you are bored or would rather be somewhere else.\\nThere are a few exceptions to this rule. If you receive an emergency call from the babysitter, for example, you can quietly duck out of the room for a few minutes to take the call.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Carry on polite conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Talk, but try to keep your voice peaceful and polite. Talk about general topics that everyone feels comfortable engaging in. Do not interrupt others. Instead, let them talk and show that you are listening by nodding along and keeping eye contact. Ask questions about the host, the food, and other guests. This is the best way to demonstrate that you are engaged and enjoying the company!\\nAvoid sensitive topics of conversations, such as politics, religion, and sex.\\nInstead, stick to relatable topics like work, kids, hobbies, or vacations.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Thank your host for a lovely evening.\", \"描述\": \"Before leaving for the evening, you should always thank your host for the delicious meal. You can even take this one step further and reciprocate the gesture by inviting the host to dine at your house next time. This is a great way to demonstrate your appreciation.\\nIf you forget to say thank-you at the end of the night, you can always send the host an email the following day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Following Fine Dining Etiquette\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Place your napkin in your lap.\", \"描述\": \"Before you begin eating, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap. This way no food will drop onto your clothing while you are eating. You should never tuck your napkin into the front of your shirt or dress when engaging in a fine dining experience.\\nPlace the napkin on your chair any time you leave the table temporarily.\\nAt the end of the meal, neatly fold the napkin and set it to the left of your place setting.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use cutlery in the proper order.\", \"描述\": \"At a very formal dinner, you may notice three sets of cutlery around your plate. Forks will be positioned to the left of your plate (with salad forks furthest to the left and dinner forks closest to your plate), knives will be to the right of your plate, and spoons will be above your plate or to the right of the knives. Always work your way inwards with each dish. This means that the cutlery positioned farthest from your plate should be used for the first course.\\nIf you are still unsure of which utensils to use first, watch what other people at the table are doing and follow their lead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hold your cutlery properly.\", \"描述\": \"Hold your fork in your left hand, with the tines facing down. Hold your knife with your right hand. Always use your fork to spear your food and lift it to your mouth, instead of your knife. When using a spoon, dip your spoon into the center of the bowl. Scoop the liquid by moving the spoon away from you toward the farthest side of the bowl. Bring the spoon to your mouth and sip from the spoon.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Begin eating once all meals are served.\", \"描述\": \"It is rude to begin eating while other people at your table are still waiting for their food to be served. The only exception to this rule is if the host requests that you begin eating, or if your fellow diners tell you to start eating before your food gets cold.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Taste the food before seasoning.\", \"描述\": \"Most chefs pride themselves on perfectly seasoning their dishes. As a result, it can be seen as a rude gesture to season your food before tasting it. At some high end restaurants there will not even be salt and pepper available on the table. Always taste the food first and then determine if you would like some added seasoning.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t reach across the table.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't reach the bread basket or table seasoning, do not reach across the table to fetch it yourself. Instead, you should politely ask someone to pass it to you. Always pass items to the right, rather than the left, if you’re not passing a dish to a specific person. Pass the salt and pepper together as a pair, as well.\\nTry saying something along these lines: “Excuse me, Jim. Could you please pass me the butter?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Excuse yourself before leaving the table.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to leave the table to go to the washroom, make a quick phone call, or touch up your make-up, that is understandable. Simply stand up, place your napkin on your chair and say “please excuse me.” You don’t need to give any details about why you wish to leave the table, but you should never try to sneak off without excusing yourself first.\\nIf you have to leave early and will not be returning, you should give a brief explanation and apologize to the guests before departing.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Offering a toast to the hosts during dinner is a great way to show your appreciation.[21]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nTami ClaytorEtiquette Coach\\nExpert Interview. 29 September 2020.\\n\", \"Never serve yourself first. Let someone else initiate serving the food.\\n\", \"Don't put anything on the table, like your cell phone or car keys. If it wasn't there when you arrived, don't add it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,038 | How to Be Polite in Norway | 1. Steps
1-1. Do not brag about yourself.
Obviously it's allowed to tell about your own merits, but it's a fine line between telling and bragging. The latter is generally considered rude. Be especially careful when talking about money. When telling about your merits, try to be subtle, and don't exaggerate. However, it's perfectly OK to brag about others.
1-2. Obey traffic laws.
Norwegian traffic runs much more passively than in most other countries, even in Europe. Drivers are expected to stop at pedestrian crossings, and it is rude, dangerous and illegal not to. Always drive carefully, keep a good distance to the car in front, and be very cautious when passing by pedestrians. When overtaking bicycles, be sure you have at least two meters between you and the bike. Traffic fines are high, especially offenses for speeding and ignoring red lights (about 800 USD). Bribery of policemen is unheard of. The legal blood alcohol limit, is 0,02 percent.
1-3. Don't ever honk the horn in a car if there is no emergency.
It's considered extremely rude, and could generate dangerous situations.
1-4. Be advised that Norway is quite left-wing politically.
Do not be afraid of bringing up the subject, but be prepared for a discussion if you strongly advocate a right-wing political opinion. (even that of the Republican party in the US.)
1-5. Dress casually.
Norwegians do. It is rare for people to dress up on regular week days, unless the occasion is special. This applies especially to men. Some businesses (like law firms) obviously have a dress code, but it is relatively rare in most others. This includes most offices. You will come a long way with a nice, regular sweater or t-shirt. Jeans will work in almost every situation.
1-6. Be prepared for strong opinions.
Norwegian news coverage includes large parts of the world, so don't be surprised if Norwegians have strong opinions on foreign countries politics. This applies especially to the US, and to a lesser degree the UK and other countries in Europe and Asia.
1-7. Be prepared for egalitarian principles.
Norwegians emphasize egalitarian principles heavily. Never treat people differently based on wealth or other factors. Be equally polite towards women as you would towards men, as well as children.
1-8. Remember first names are okay in casual settings.
Except for when doing business, it is perfectly OK to address people by first name only, even if you don't know them very well, especially if the circumstance is informal. It's unnecessary using titles such as Herr or Fru (Mr and Mrs).
1-9. Be on time.
Punctuality is extremely important. If doing business, you should be minimum 5 minutes early.
1-10. Respect personal space.
Do not invade people's personal space. The personal space in Norway is generally larger than most other places. Do not stand too close to others, even when queuing. A stretched arm's length is generally a good distance. Don't queue jump unless you politely ask first. Never express your own opinion unless the same opinion has already been expressed by the majority in the room, at least not until you get the hang of the social crowd. Norwegians tend to shy away from people who express opinions they disagree with.
1-11. Understand Norwegian social mores or customs.
Keep in mind that Norwegians tend to be reserved and relatively introverted. This is not a sign of hostility, it's just the common practice. (When on a bus, most people would elect to sit down at an empty seat, rather than beside someone else.) Be prepared to take the initiative when creating relations, but be polite and discrete.
1-12. Keep your voice low and don't talk too much.
It could be considered rude to talk excessively loud, especially in public. There are no need to whisper, just keep an eye on your volume if you tend to speak very loudly.
1-13. Understand that Norwegian women tend to be very sexually and culturally liberated.
In the summer time, many will dress very lightly. This is perfectly accepted, and not an invitation for men to sexually harass them. If you are from Europe or the US, you shouldn't experience any surprises.
1-14. It is also important to know that it extremely rude if men openly rest their eyes on the curves of a woman's body and then not redraw the look on the body when the woman notice.
Of course, it's perfectly OK if you dress conservatively.
1-15. Speaking English will work in most situations.
Most Norwegians speak English exceptionally well, especially people in their 40's or younger. Some even speak a few words German. You might encounter difficulties if you want to talk to older people, though.
1-16. Remember tips are not mandatory.
While some travel guides advocates tipping, this is never an obligation in Norway. While some might do it if they have encountered extraordinary service, some never do. Very few Norwegian tip for just adequate service. Waiters at restaurants are paid relatively well, so there is no need. While some people accept that the taxi driver keeps the change, he is obliged to give you exact change back.
1-17. Use credit or debit cards.
In Norway, cash is not king. Many Norwegians pay exclusively with Debit or Credit Cards, and some enterprises even discourage paying by cash. ATMs are widespread. However, as a traveler, you are probably better off paying with cash anyway, as the fees for using your card abroad could be high.
1-18. Avoid discussing religion.
In Norway, religion is a personal matter. Therefore, it is a touchy subject. It is perfectly OK to discuss it on a general basis, but unless talking with a close friend, it is probably best to avoid discussing it on a personal level. Nevertheless, if you are going to bring the subject up anyway, be advised to do so discretely and be cautious advocating any strong or fundamentalist opinions. Many people would consider it rude to plainly ask them whether they consider themselves members of a particular religion. Never ever assume anything about someone's beliefs.
Warnings
Do not give too much credit to Travel books with etiquette advice. Most of this etiquette is old-fashioned, and seldom applied in the real world. Use common sense, act humble, keep this article in mind, and you will be fine.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Do not brag about yourself.\\nObviously it's allowed to tell about your own merits, but it's a fine line between telling and bragging. The latter is generally considered rude. Be especially careful when talking about money. When telling about your merits, try to be subtle, and don't exaggerate. However, it's perfectly OK to brag about others.\\n1-2. Obey traffic laws.\\nNorwegian traffic runs much more passively than in most other countries, even in Europe. Drivers are expected to stop at pedestrian crossings, and it is rude, dangerous and illegal not to. Always drive carefully, keep a good distance to the car in front, and be very cautious when passing by pedestrians. When overtaking bicycles, be sure you have at least two meters between you and the bike. Traffic fines are high, especially offenses for speeding and ignoring red lights (about 800 USD). Bribery of policemen is unheard of. The legal blood alcohol limit, is 0,02 percent.\\n1-3. Don't ever honk the horn in a car if there is no emergency.\\nIt's considered extremely rude, and could generate dangerous situations.\\n1-4. Be advised that Norway is quite left-wing politically.\\nDo not be afraid of bringing up the subject, but be prepared for a discussion if you strongly advocate a right-wing political opinion. (even that of the Republican party in the US.)\\n1-5. Dress casually.\\nNorwegians do. It is rare for people to dress up on regular week days, unless the occasion is special. This applies especially to men. Some businesses (like law firms) obviously have a dress code, but it is relatively rare in most others. This includes most offices. You will come a long way with a nice, regular sweater or t-shirt. Jeans will work in almost every situation.\\n1-6. Be prepared for strong opinions.\\nNorwegian news coverage includes large parts of the world, so don't be surprised if Norwegians have strong opinions on foreign countries politics. This applies especially to the US, and to a lesser degree the UK and other countries in Europe and Asia.\\n1-7. Be prepared for egalitarian principles.\\nNorwegians emphasize egalitarian principles heavily. Never treat people differently based on wealth or other factors. Be equally polite towards women as you would towards men, as well as children.\\n1-8. Remember first names are okay in casual settings.\\nExcept for when doing business, it is perfectly OK to address people by first name only, even if you don't know them very well, especially if the circumstance is informal. It's unnecessary using titles such as Herr or Fru (Mr and Mrs).\\n1-9. Be on time.\\nPunctuality is extremely important. If doing business, you should be minimum 5 minutes early.\\n1-10. Respect personal space.\\nDo not invade people's personal space. The personal space in Norway is generally larger than most other places. Do not stand too close to others, even when queuing. A stretched arm's length is generally a good distance. Don't queue jump unless you politely ask first. Never express your own opinion unless the same opinion has already been expressed by the majority in the room, at least not until you get the hang of the social crowd. Norwegians tend to shy away from people who express opinions they disagree with.\\n1-11. Understand Norwegian social mores or customs.\\nKeep in mind that Norwegians tend to be reserved and relatively introverted. This is not a sign of hostility, it's just the common practice. (When on a bus, most people would elect to sit down at an empty seat, rather than beside someone else.) Be prepared to take the initiative when creating relations, but be polite and discrete.\\n1-12. Keep your voice low and don't talk too much.\\nIt could be considered rude to talk excessively loud, especially in public. There are no need to whisper, just keep an eye on your volume if you tend to speak very loudly.\\n1-13. Understand that Norwegian women tend to be very sexually and culturally liberated.\\nIn the summer time, many will dress very lightly. This is perfectly accepted, and not an invitation for men to sexually harass them. If you are from Europe or the US, you shouldn't experience any surprises.\\n1-14. It is also important to know that it extremely rude if men openly rest their eyes on the curves of a woman's body and then not redraw the look on the body when the woman notice.\\nOf course, it's perfectly OK if you dress conservatively.\\n1-15. Speaking English will work in most situations.\\nMost Norwegians speak English exceptionally well, especially people in their 40's or younger. Some even speak a few words German. You might encounter difficulties if you want to talk to older people, though.\\n1-16. Remember tips are not mandatory.\\nWhile some travel guides advocates tipping, this is never an obligation in Norway. While some might do it if they have encountered extraordinary service, some never do. Very few Norwegian tip for just adequate service. Waiters at restaurants are paid relatively well, so there is no need. While some people accept that the taxi driver keeps the change, he is obliged to give you exact change back.\\n1-17. Use credit or debit cards.\\nIn Norway, cash is not king. Many Norwegians pay exclusively with Debit or Credit Cards, and some enterprises even discourage paying by cash. ATMs are widespread. However, as a traveler, you are probably better off paying with cash anyway, as the fees for using your card abroad could be high.\\n1-18. Avoid discussing religion.\\nIn Norway, religion is a personal matter. Therefore, it is a touchy subject. It is perfectly OK to discuss it on a general basis, but unless talking with a close friend, it is probably best to avoid discussing it on a personal level. Nevertheless, if you are going to bring the subject up anyway, be advised to do so discretely and be cautious advocating any strong or fundamentalist opinions. Many people would consider it rude to plainly ask them whether they consider themselves members of a particular religion. Never ever assume anything about someone's beliefs.\\nWarnings\\nDo not give too much credit to Travel books with etiquette advice. Most of this etiquette is old-fashioned, and seldom applied in the real world. Use common sense, act humble, keep this article in mind, and you will be fine.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Norway is generally a very liberal country, and you will come a long way by just using common sense. Still, there are things that might be different from what you are accustomed to. Here are some tips to make your stay in Norway a little more smooth.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not brag about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Obviously it's allowed to tell about your own merits, but it's a fine line between telling and bragging. The latter is generally considered rude. Be especially careful when talking about money. When telling about your merits, try to be subtle, and don't exaggerate. However, it's perfectly OK to brag about others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Obey traffic laws.\", \"描述\": \"Norwegian traffic runs much more passively than in most other countries, even in Europe. Drivers are expected to stop at pedestrian crossings, and it is rude, dangerous and illegal not to. Always drive carefully, keep a good distance to the car in front, and be very cautious when passing by pedestrians. When overtaking bicycles, be sure you have at least two meters between you and the bike. Traffic fines are high, especially offenses for speeding and ignoring red lights (about 800 USD). Bribery of policemen is unheard of. The legal blood alcohol limit, is 0,02 percent.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't ever honk the horn in a car if there is no emergency.\", \"描述\": \"It's considered extremely rude, and could generate dangerous situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be advised that Norway is quite left-wing politically.\", \"描述\": \"Do not be afraid of bringing up the subject, but be prepared for a discussion if you strongly advocate a right-wing political opinion. (even that of the Republican party in the US.)\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dress casually.\", \"描述\": \"Norwegians do. It is rare for people to dress up on regular week days, unless the occasion is special. This applies especially to men. Some businesses (like law firms) obviously have a dress code, but it is relatively rare in most others. This includes most offices. You will come a long way with a nice, regular sweater or t-shirt. Jeans will work in almost every situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for strong opinions.\", \"描述\": \"Norwegian news coverage includes large parts of the world, so don't be surprised if Norwegians have strong opinions on foreign countries politics. This applies especially to the US, and to a lesser degree the UK and other countries in Europe and Asia.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for egalitarian principles.\", \"描述\": \"Norwegians emphasize egalitarian principles heavily. Never treat people differently based on wealth or other factors. Be equally polite towards women as you would towards men, as well as children.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Remember first names are okay in casual settings.\", \"描述\": \"Except for when doing business, it is perfectly OK to address people by first name only, even if you don't know them very well, especially if the circumstance is informal. It's unnecessary using titles such as Herr or Fru (Mr and Mrs).\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be on time.\", \"描述\": \"Punctuality is extremely important. If doing business, you should be minimum 5 minutes early.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Respect personal space.\", \"描述\": \"Do not invade people's personal space. The personal space in Norway is generally larger than most other places. Do not stand too close to others, even when queuing. A stretched arm's length is generally a good distance. Don't queue jump unless you politely ask first. Never express your own opinion unless the same opinion has already been expressed by the majority in the room, at least not until you get the hang of the social crowd. Norwegians tend to shy away from people who express opinions they disagree with.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Understand Norwegian social mores or customs.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that Norwegians tend to be reserved and relatively introverted. This is not a sign of hostility, it's just the common practice. (When on a bus, most people would elect to sit down at an empty seat, rather than beside someone else.) Be prepared to take the initiative when creating relations, but be polite and discrete.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Keep your voice low and don't talk too much.\", \"描述\": \"It could be considered rude to talk excessively loud, especially in public. There are no need to whisper, just keep an eye on your volume if you tend to speak very loudly.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Understand that Norwegian women tend to be very sexually and culturally liberated.\", \"描述\": \"In the summer time, many will dress very lightly. This is perfectly accepted, and not an invitation for men to sexually harass them. If you are from Europe or the US, you shouldn't experience any surprises.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"It is also important to know that it extremely rude if men openly rest their eyes on the curves of a woman's body and then not redraw the look on the body when the woman notice.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, it's perfectly OK if you dress conservatively.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Speaking English will work in most situations.\", \"描述\": \"Most Norwegians speak English exceptionally well, especially people in their 40's or younger. Some even speak a few words German. You might encounter difficulties if you want to talk to older people, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Remember tips are not mandatory.\", \"描述\": \"While some travel guides advocates tipping, this is never an obligation in Norway. While some might do it if they have encountered extraordinary service, some never do. Very few Norwegian tip for just adequate service. Waiters at restaurants are paid relatively well, so there is no need. While some people accept that the taxi driver keeps the change, he is obliged to give you exact change back.\"}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Use credit or debit cards.\", \"描述\": \"In Norway, cash is not king. Many Norwegians pay exclusively with Debit or Credit Cards, and some enterprises even discourage paying by cash. ATMs are widespread. However, as a traveler, you are probably better off paying with cash anyway, as the fees for using your card abroad could be high.\"}, {\"编号\": 18, \"标题\": \"Avoid discussing religion.\", \"描述\": \"In Norway, religion is a personal matter. Therefore, it is a touchy subject. It is perfectly OK to discuss it on a general basis, but unless talking with a close friend, it is probably best to avoid discussing it on a personal level. Nevertheless, if you are going to bring the subject up anyway, be advised to do so discretely and be cautious advocating any strong or fundamentalist opinions. Many people would consider it rude to plainly ask them whether they consider themselves members of a particular religion. Never ever assume anything about someone's beliefs.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not give too much credit to Travel books with etiquette advice. Most of this etiquette is old-fashioned, and seldom applied in the real world. Use common sense, act humble, keep this article in mind, and you will be fine.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,039 | How to Be Polite in Taiwan | 1. Understanding Body Language
1-1. Keep physical affection to a minimum.
Whether it is romantic or platonic, make sure that you keep a respectful distance.
Handshakes are becoming more common; however, if other people are bowing or nodding, do that instead.
It is never appropriate to touch anyone on top of the head. Even children and infants’ personal space should be respected.
1-2. Keep your hands either in front of you or in your lap.
The American tendency to spread out with the arms and elbows is considered rude. People in Taiwan prefer their personal space-- it is even considered rude to take a bus seat facing someone rather than an open seat that faces forward.
This applies to legs as well. Keep your feet on the ground, and do not cross your legs in an obtrusive way.
1-3. Do not beckon or point with your index finger.
Point and beckon with an open hand, with your palm facing toward the ground or to the side. Beckoning with an open palm to the sky is considered rude or bad luck.
This may not seem like a small point, but Taiwanese people are quite offended by it. You may also be surprised at how often you do it.
1-4. Greet the elderly formally.
Greet them first, and always follow their cues-- if they do not put their hand out to shake, do not attempt to shake their hand. Put your right hand on top of your left fist and raise both hands to your chest. You can also bow.
Hierarchies are very important in Taiwan, and the elderly garner the most respect. Always pay attention to their needs and never invade their personal space unless asked.
2. Having Polite Interactions
2-1. Always bring your host a gift.
In business situations, do not be afraid to be generous. The concept of a conflict of interest does not extend to gifts. If you are the guest of a group, it is polite to bring many small gifts.
Expensive alcohol and tea are safe gifts, especially at a dinner event. If you decide to get your hosts another item, make sure that you have multiple.
2-2. Respond to invitations with invitations of your own.
Always follow through on your plans. If you cancel or forget plans, most Taiwanese people will be very offended. It is typical in American culture to cancel on plans, but it is considered very rude in most Asian countries.
Avoid casually mentioning that you should get together or have lunch. If you intend to follow up, pick a date and time to assure that you follow through.
2-3. Respond to questions with similar questions.
It is considered polite to show interest in other peoples’ personal lives. Questions that may seem overly personal in Western culture can be considered normal in Taiwan.
If you are unsure of what to ask, it is okay to repeat questions that you were asked.
If you are asked an overly personal question, do not become uncomfortable.
3. Using Simple Phrases
3-1. Excuse yourself by saying "Bù hǎo yì si" (對不起).
This is pronounced "boo how eeh si". As a foreigner, you will need to excuse yourself often. If you do not speak the language, excusing yourself in the language is even more important. Use the Taiwanese that you know to assure that no one is offended.
3-2. Give thanks by saying "xièxie" (謝謝).
This is pronounced "hsieh hsieh". In Taiwanese, it is also "Do (pronounced like “dough”) sha.
If you are in a formal situation, it is also appropriate to say "Xièxie nĭ/nĭn".
3-3. Say "you’re welcome", by saying "bù kè qì.
This is pronounced "byan keh+kee". Politeness is valued, so people may be thanking continually over small kindnesses. Be sure to complete the ritual by acknowledging their thanks.
Tips
It is OK not to know how to handle chopsticks.
It is OK that you are not good in Taiwanese.
Warnings
Taiwanese Mandarin and Chinese Mandarin are slightly different.
As a general rule, try to avoid speaking of mainland China. This does not include Hong Kong or Macau.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Body Language\\n1-1. Keep physical affection to a minimum.\\nWhether it is romantic or platonic, make sure that you keep a respectful distance.\\nHandshakes are becoming more common; however, if other people are bowing or nodding, do that instead.\\nIt is never appropriate to touch anyone on top of the head. Even children and infants’ personal space should be respected.\\n1-2. Keep your hands either in front of you or in your lap.\\nThe American tendency to spread out with the arms and elbows is considered rude. People in Taiwan prefer their personal space-- it is even considered rude to take a bus seat facing someone rather than an open seat that faces forward. \\nThis applies to legs as well. Keep your feet on the ground, and do not cross your legs in an obtrusive way.\\n1-3. Do not beckon or point with your index finger.\\nPoint and beckon with an open hand, with your palm facing toward the ground or to the side. Beckoning with an open palm to the sky is considered rude or bad luck.\\nThis may not seem like a small point, but Taiwanese people are quite offended by it. You may also be surprised at how often you do it.\\n1-4. Greet the elderly formally.\\nGreet them first, and always follow their cues-- if they do not put their hand out to shake, do not attempt to shake their hand. Put your right hand on top of your left fist and raise both hands to your chest. You can also bow.\\nHierarchies are very important in Taiwan, and the elderly garner the most respect. Always pay attention to their needs and never invade their personal space unless asked.\\n2. Having Polite Interactions\\n2-1. Always bring your host a gift.\\nIn business situations, do not be afraid to be generous. The concept of a conflict of interest does not extend to gifts. If you are the guest of a group, it is polite to bring many small gifts.\\nExpensive alcohol and tea are safe gifts, especially at a dinner event. If you decide to get your hosts another item, make sure that you have multiple.\\n2-2. Respond to invitations with invitations of your own.\\nAlways follow through on your plans. If you cancel or forget plans, most Taiwanese people will be very offended. It is typical in American culture to cancel on plans, but it is considered very rude in most Asian countries.\\nAvoid casually mentioning that you should get together or have lunch. If you intend to follow up, pick a date and time to assure that you follow through.\\n2-3. Respond to questions with similar questions.\\nIt is considered polite to show interest in other peoples’ personal lives. Questions that may seem overly personal in Western culture can be considered normal in Taiwan.\\nIf you are unsure of what to ask, it is okay to repeat questions that you were asked.\\nIf you are asked an overly personal question, do not become uncomfortable.\\n3. Using Simple Phrases\\n3-1. Excuse yourself by saying \\\"Bù hǎo yì si\\\" (對不起).\\nThis is pronounced \\\"boo how eeh si\\\". As a foreigner, you will need to excuse yourself often. If you do not speak the language, excusing yourself in the language is even more important. Use the Taiwanese that you know to assure that no one is offended.\\n3-2. Give thanks by saying \\\"xièxie\\\" (謝謝).\\nThis is pronounced \\\"hsieh hsieh\\\". In Taiwanese, it is also \\\"Do (pronounced like “dough”) sha.\\nIf you are in a formal situation, it is also appropriate to say \\\"Xièxie nĭ/nĭn\\\".\\n3-3. Say \\\"you’re welcome\\\", by saying \\\"bù kè qì.\\nThis is pronounced \\\"byan keh+kee\\\". Politeness is valued, so people may be thanking continually over small kindnesses. Be sure to complete the ritual by acknowledging their thanks.\\nTips\\nIt is OK not to know how to handle chopsticks.\\nIt is OK that you are not good in Taiwanese.\\nWarnings\\nTaiwanese Mandarin and Chinese Mandarin are slightly different.\\nAs a general rule, try to avoid speaking of mainland China. This does not include Hong Kong or Macau.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The Taiwanese are polite people. Because of this, it is possible to go through an entire interaction without realizing that you have been accidentally rude. It is important that you maintain a respectful distance physically, while still going through very friendly rituals in social situations. When speaking, it is always polite to use the Taiwanese Mandarin that you know before resorting to English translations.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep physical affection to a minimum.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it is romantic or platonic, make sure that you keep a respectful distance.\\nHandshakes are becoming more common; however, if other people are bowing or nodding, do that instead.\\nIt is never appropriate to touch anyone on top of the head. Even children and infants’ personal space should be respected.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your hands either in front of you or in your lap.\", \"描述\": \"The American tendency to spread out with the arms and elbows is considered rude. People in Taiwan prefer their personal space-- it is even considered rude to take a bus seat facing someone rather than an open seat that faces forward. \\nThis applies to legs as well. Keep your feet on the ground, and do not cross your legs in an obtrusive way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do not beckon or point with your index finger.\", \"描述\": \"Point and beckon with an open hand, with your palm facing toward the ground or to the side. Beckoning with an open palm to the sky is considered rude or bad luck.\\nThis may not seem like a small point, but Taiwanese people are quite offended by it. You may also be surprised at how often you do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Greet the elderly formally.\", \"描述\": \"Greet them first, and always follow their cues-- if they do not put their hand out to shake, do not attempt to shake their hand. Put your right hand on top of your left fist and raise both hands to your chest. You can also bow.\\nHierarchies are very important in Taiwan, and the elderly garner the most respect. Always pay attention to their needs and never invade their personal space unless asked.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having Polite Interactions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Always bring your host a gift.\", \"描述\": \"In business situations, do not be afraid to be generous. The concept of a conflict of interest does not extend to gifts. If you are the guest of a group, it is polite to bring many small gifts.\\nExpensive alcohol and tea are safe gifts, especially at a dinner event. If you decide to get your hosts another item, make sure that you have multiple.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respond to invitations with invitations of your own.\", \"描述\": \"Always follow through on your plans. If you cancel or forget plans, most Taiwanese people will be very offended. It is typical in American culture to cancel on plans, but it is considered very rude in most Asian countries.\\nAvoid casually mentioning that you should get together or have lunch. If you intend to follow up, pick a date and time to assure that you follow through.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respond to questions with similar questions.\", \"描述\": \"It is considered polite to show interest in other peoples’ personal lives. Questions that may seem overly personal in Western culture can be considered normal in Taiwan.\\nIf you are unsure of what to ask, it is okay to repeat questions that you were asked.\\nIf you are asked an overly personal question, do not become uncomfortable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Simple Phrases\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Excuse yourself by saying \\\"Bù hǎo yì si\\\" (對不起).\", \"描述\": \"This is pronounced \\\"boo how eeh si\\\". As a foreigner, you will need to excuse yourself often. If you do not speak the language, excusing yourself in the language is even more important. Use the Taiwanese that you know to assure that no one is offended.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give thanks by saying \\\"xièxie\\\" (謝謝).\", \"描述\": \"This is pronounced \\\"hsieh hsieh\\\". In Taiwanese, it is also \\\"Do (pronounced like “dough”) sha.\\nIf you are in a formal situation, it is also appropriate to say \\\"Xièxie nĭ/nĭn\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"you’re welcome\\\", by saying \\\"bù kè qì.\", \"描述\": \"This is pronounced \\\"byan keh+kee\\\". Politeness is valued, so people may be thanking continually over small kindnesses. Be sure to complete the ritual by acknowledging their thanks.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It is OK not to know how to handle chopsticks.\\n\", \"It is OK that you are not good in Taiwanese.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Taiwanese Mandarin and Chinese Mandarin are slightly different.\\n\", \"As a general rule, try to avoid speaking of mainland China. This does not include Hong Kong or Macau.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,040 | How to Be Polite in a Boring Conversation | 1. Staying Polite in a Boring Conversation
1-1. Remain attentive.
Even if you are completely uninterested in the topic of a conversation, you should think about your body language and try not to look bored. No-one wants to bore anybody else, and you will make the person you are talking to feel bad if you are visible not paying any attention. Be sure you are facing the person and keep some eye contact.
Don’t slouch or fidget. This kind of body language shows that you are bored and looking for a way to escape.
Crossing your arms across your chest will make you look disinterested, and of course looking at your watch or checking your phone is a clear signal that your mind is elsewhere.
1-2. Try to contribute.
Try not to just respond with monosyllabic noises, such as “yeahs,” “umms,” “ahhs.” Make an effort to engage more meaningfully in the conversation and you might find that it becomes a lot less boring. When you do try and get involved in the conversation, try to avoid relying on simple questions that betray your lack of real interest in the topic.
Don’t just ask things like “Where did you go?” or “What happened next?”
Try to ask more complicated questions that might open up to the conversation to other topics, and allow you to steer it in a different direction. For example, try asking questions that ask "why," such as "Why do you think things happened that way?"
By asking more complicated questions you are showing curiosity and interest that goes beyond simple politeness.
1-3. Don’t interrupt too abruptly.
Measured interruptions can actually indicate that you are interested in the topic and have something to contribute, but don’t try to suddenly change the subject altogether. If you do this you will appear to be rudely dismissing what the other person has to say.
For example, if your friend is talking at length about the latest baseball game they went to see, don’t blurt in with “So, how’s school?”
Try to intervene in a way which acknowledges the other person, but still enables you to subtly shift the conversation.
For example, you might say something like “Yeah, it was a great game. That reminds me, did you manage to get all that school work done beforehand?”
1-4. Involve more people.
One way to try to liven up a conversation is to bring more people into it. You can do this in a polite way if you are not too abrupt, and you keep in mind what the other person was talking about. For example, perhaps you are being told about cars and you really are not interested in them, but you know someone who is.
You might say “My friend John is really into cars, I’d be interested to hear what he thinks about it.” You can then bring the friend into the conversation.
This can be a way to excuse yourself, but it can also be a way to broaden the topic and take some pressure off yourself.
Generally, if there are more people involved in the conversation it won’t be such hard work for you.
2. Getting Out of a Boring Conversation Politely
2-1. Excuse yourself
No matter how patient you are, sometimes you will have to try and work your way out of a boring conversation. This can be difficult and a bit awkward, but it’s always important to try to be polite and not hurt the other person’s feelings. You can politely excuse yourself by saying that you have another commitment, or that you had lost track of time. Depending on how you say it, and your body language, these excuses can seem genuine or forced. Examples of way to politely excuse yourself could include:
“Oh, I’m sorry. I completely lost track of time, I really have get going. It was great talking to you, though.”
“I’d love to keep chatting, but I have to go and meet my husband.”
“I’m really sorry, but I’m running late and have to go.”
2-2. Try to change the subject.
If you find yourself stuck in a conversation about something you don't know about and aren't interested in, you could try to politely change the topic. You can make this clear to someone without sounding rude or impatient. Just point out that you don't really know much about the topic of conversation, and offer an alternative topic to discuss.
You might say "I'm not really an expert in this and it's kind of hard to for me to follow."
Perhaps you could say "Wow, you sound like a real expert on X! I don't really know a lot about X but I am really into Y. Do you like Y?"
You might find that the person talking to you isn't so interested in talking about this other topic and the conversation may come to a swifter end.
2-3. Give the conversation an end-point.
You can politely make it clear that you are only free to talk for a limited time, by referring to something you are doing which you will be finished with shortly. For example, if you are in the break room at work and a colleague starts talking to you, you can say that you are just making a quick cup of coffee. When the coffee is made you can excuse yourself without seeming rude.
If you want to end a conversation politely, be ready with some conversation ender statements based on your level of engagement with the other person.
If the conversation was enjoyable and you would like to stay in touch with them, you can use a conversation ender statement such as "I've thoroughly enjoyed visiting with you and would like to continue this conversation. Would you be open to meeting for lunch sometime?"
If the conversation likely won't go further, be polite and say, "I've appreciated our time together. Thanks for sharing the stories about your business travels. I'll keep those lessons in mind on my travels. It's been great visiting with you."
2-4. End it positively.
You can try to sugar the pill a little by ending with a positive note. You could show that you have been listening and plan to follow up on what you have been talking about, or say that you will pass on the information to someone you know. For example, if someone has been telling you about a film they really like, you might say “I’ll definitely watch it, thanks.”
Alternatively, you might say something like, “My girlfriend really loves horror movies, I’ll tell her about it. It sounds like she’ll love it.”
You can point out that you have learned something from the conversation, and thank the person you were talking to.
You might say, “I’d never really thought about it like that, thanks.”
2-5. Say goodbye.
However boring the conversation might have been, it’s polite to say a warm and friendly goodbye. Walking off without saying goodbye is rude and unnecessary in any situation, after all the person you were talking to didn’t bore you on purpose. Saying goodbye with a positive and upbeat tone will help both you of leave the conversation without feeling awkward or uncomfortable
A simple and positive goodbye could just be “nice talking to you, take care.”
A friendly and casual goodbye could be “I’ve got to run, take it easy.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Polite in a Boring Conversation\\n1-1. Remain attentive.\\nEven if you are completely uninterested in the topic of a conversation, you should think about your body language and try not to look bored. No-one wants to bore anybody else, and you will make the person you are talking to feel bad if you are visible not paying any attention. Be sure you are facing the person and keep some eye contact.\\nDon’t slouch or fidget. This kind of body language shows that you are bored and looking for a way to escape.\\nCrossing your arms across your chest will make you look disinterested, and of course looking at your watch or checking your phone is a clear signal that your mind is elsewhere.\\n1-2. Try to contribute.\\nTry not to just respond with monosyllabic noises, such as “yeahs,” “umms,” “ahhs.” Make an effort to engage more meaningfully in the conversation and you might find that it becomes a lot less boring. When you do try and get involved in the conversation, try to avoid relying on simple questions that betray your lack of real interest in the topic.\\nDon’t just ask things like “Where did you go?” or “What happened next?”\\nTry to ask more complicated questions that might open up to the conversation to other topics, and allow you to steer it in a different direction. For example, try asking questions that ask \\\"why,\\\" such as \\\"Why do you think things happened that way?\\\"\\nBy asking more complicated questions you are showing curiosity and interest that goes beyond simple politeness.\\n1-3. Don’t interrupt too abruptly.\\nMeasured interruptions can actually indicate that you are interested in the topic and have something to contribute, but don’t try to suddenly change the subject altogether. If you do this you will appear to be rudely dismissing what the other person has to say.\\nFor example, if your friend is talking at length about the latest baseball game they went to see, don’t blurt in with “So, how’s school?”\\nTry to intervene in a way which acknowledges the other person, but still enables you to subtly shift the conversation.\\nFor example, you might say something like “Yeah, it was a great game. That reminds me, did you manage to get all that school work done beforehand?”\\n1-4. Involve more people.\\nOne way to try to liven up a conversation is to bring more people into it. You can do this in a polite way if you are not too abrupt, and you keep in mind what the other person was talking about. For example, perhaps you are being told about cars and you really are not interested in them, but you know someone who is.\\nYou might say “My friend John is really into cars, I’d be interested to hear what he thinks about it.” You can then bring the friend into the conversation.\\nThis can be a way to excuse yourself, but it can also be a way to broaden the topic and take some pressure off yourself.\\nGenerally, if there are more people involved in the conversation it won’t be such hard work for you.\\n2. Getting Out of a Boring Conversation Politely\\n2-1. Excuse yourself\\nNo matter how patient you are, sometimes you will have to try and work your way out of a boring conversation. This can be difficult and a bit awkward, but it’s always important to try to be polite and not hurt the other person’s feelings. You can politely excuse yourself by saying that you have another commitment, or that you had lost track of time. Depending on how you say it, and your body language, these excuses can seem genuine or forced. Examples of way to politely excuse yourself could include:\\n“Oh, I’m sorry. I completely lost track of time, I really have get going. It was great talking to you, though.”\\n“I’d love to keep chatting, but I have to go and meet my husband.”\\n“I’m really sorry, but I’m running late and have to go.”\\n2-2. Try to change the subject.\\nIf you find yourself stuck in a conversation about something you don't know about and aren't interested in, you could try to politely change the topic. You can make this clear to someone without sounding rude or impatient. Just point out that you don't really know much about the topic of conversation, and offer an alternative topic to discuss.\\nYou might say \\\"I'm not really an expert in this and it's kind of hard to for me to follow.\\\"\\nPerhaps you could say \\\"Wow, you sound like a real expert on X! I don't really know a lot about X but I am really into Y. Do you like Y?\\\"\\nYou might find that the person talking to you isn't so interested in talking about this other topic and the conversation may come to a swifter end.\\n2-3. Give the conversation an end-point.\\nYou can politely make it clear that you are only free to talk for a limited time, by referring to something you are doing which you will be finished with shortly. For example, if you are in the break room at work and a colleague starts talking to you, you can say that you are just making a quick cup of coffee. When the coffee is made you can excuse yourself without seeming rude.\\nIf you want to end a conversation politely, be ready with some conversation ender statements based on your level of engagement with the other person.\\nIf the conversation was enjoyable and you would like to stay in touch with them, you can use a conversation ender statement such as \\\"I've thoroughly enjoyed visiting with you and would like to continue this conversation. Would you be open to meeting for lunch sometime?\\\"\\nIf the conversation likely won't go further, be polite and say, \\\"I've appreciated our time together. Thanks for sharing the stories about your business travels. I'll keep those lessons in mind on my travels. It's been great visiting with you.\\\"\\n2-4. End it positively.\\nYou can try to sugar the pill a little by ending with a positive note. You could show that you have been listening and plan to follow up on what you have been talking about, or say that you will pass on the information to someone you know. For example, if someone has been telling you about a film they really like, you might say “I’ll definitely watch it, thanks.”\\nAlternatively, you might say something like, “My girlfriend really loves horror movies, I’ll tell her about it. It sounds like she’ll love it.”\\nYou can point out that you have learned something from the conversation, and thank the person you were talking to.\\nYou might say, “I’d never really thought about it like that, thanks.”\\n2-5. Say goodbye.\\nHowever boring the conversation might have been, it’s polite to say a warm and friendly goodbye. Walking off without saying goodbye is rude and unnecessary in any situation, after all the person you were talking to didn’t bore you on purpose. Saying goodbye with a positive and upbeat tone will help both you of leave the conversation without feeling awkward or uncomfortable\\nA simple and positive goodbye could just be “nice talking to you, take care.”\\nA friendly and casual goodbye could be “I’ve got to run, take it easy.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes you might find yourself trapped in a boring conversation. It’s always nice to be polite in these situations, but you can try to subtly change the subject or bring the conversation to an end. You don’t have to be rude, but you don’t have to endure an endless boring conversation either.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Polite in a Boring Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remain attentive.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are completely uninterested in the topic of a conversation, you should think about your body language and try not to look bored. No-one wants to bore anybody else, and you will make the person you are talking to feel bad if you are visible not paying any attention. Be sure you are facing the person and keep some eye contact.\\nDon’t slouch or fidget. This kind of body language shows that you are bored and looking for a way to escape.\\nCrossing your arms across your chest will make you look disinterested, and of course looking at your watch or checking your phone is a clear signal that your mind is elsewhere.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to contribute.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to just respond with monosyllabic noises, such as “yeahs,” “umms,” “ahhs.” Make an effort to engage more meaningfully in the conversation and you might find that it becomes a lot less boring. When you do try and get involved in the conversation, try to avoid relying on simple questions that betray your lack of real interest in the topic.\\nDon’t just ask things like “Where did you go?” or “What happened next?”\\nTry to ask more complicated questions that might open up to the conversation to other topics, and allow you to steer it in a different direction. For example, try asking questions that ask \\\"why,\\\" such as \\\"Why do you think things happened that way?\\\"\\nBy asking more complicated questions you are showing curiosity and interest that goes beyond simple politeness.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t interrupt too abruptly.\", \"描述\": \"Measured interruptions can actually indicate that you are interested in the topic and have something to contribute, but don’t try to suddenly change the subject altogether. If you do this you will appear to be rudely dismissing what the other person has to say.\\nFor example, if your friend is talking at length about the latest baseball game they went to see, don’t blurt in with “So, how’s school?”\\nTry to intervene in a way which acknowledges the other person, but still enables you to subtly shift the conversation.\\nFor example, you might say something like “Yeah, it was a great game. That reminds me, did you manage to get all that school work done beforehand?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Involve more people.\", \"描述\": \"One way to try to liven up a conversation is to bring more people into it. You can do this in a polite way if you are not too abrupt, and you keep in mind what the other person was talking about. For example, perhaps you are being told about cars and you really are not interested in them, but you know someone who is.\\nYou might say “My friend John is really into cars, I’d be interested to hear what he thinks about it.” You can then bring the friend into the conversation.\\nThis can be a way to excuse yourself, but it can also be a way to broaden the topic and take some pressure off yourself.\\nGenerally, if there are more people involved in the conversation it won’t be such hard work for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Out of a Boring Conversation Politely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Excuse yourself\", \"描述\": \"No matter how patient you are, sometimes you will have to try and work your way out of a boring conversation. This can be difficult and a bit awkward, but it’s always important to try to be polite and not hurt the other person’s feelings. You can politely excuse yourself by saying that you have another commitment, or that you had lost track of time. Depending on how you say it, and your body language, these excuses can seem genuine or forced. Examples of way to politely excuse yourself could include:\\n“Oh, I’m sorry. I completely lost track of time, I really have get going. It was great talking to you, though.”\\n“I’d love to keep chatting, but I have to go and meet my husband.”\\n“I’m really sorry, but I’m running late and have to go.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to change the subject.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself stuck in a conversation about something you don't know about and aren't interested in, you could try to politely change the topic. You can make this clear to someone without sounding rude or impatient. Just point out that you don't really know much about the topic of conversation, and offer an alternative topic to discuss.\\nYou might say \\\"I'm not really an expert in this and it's kind of hard to for me to follow.\\\"\\nPerhaps you could say \\\"Wow, you sound like a real expert on X! I don't really know a lot about X but I am really into Y. Do you like Y?\\\"\\nYou might find that the person talking to you isn't so interested in talking about this other topic and the conversation may come to a swifter end.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give the conversation an end-point.\", \"描述\": \"You can politely make it clear that you are only free to talk for a limited time, by referring to something you are doing which you will be finished with shortly. For example, if you are in the break room at work and a colleague starts talking to you, you can say that you are just making a quick cup of coffee. When the coffee is made you can excuse yourself without seeming rude.\\nIf you want to end a conversation politely, be ready with some conversation ender statements based on your level of engagement with the other person.\\nIf the conversation was enjoyable and you would like to stay in touch with them, you can use a conversation ender statement such as \\\"I've thoroughly enjoyed visiting with you and would like to continue this conversation. Would you be open to meeting for lunch sometime?\\\"\\nIf the conversation likely won't go further, be polite and say, \\\"I've appreciated our time together. Thanks for sharing the stories about your business travels. I'll keep those lessons in mind on my travels. It's been great visiting with you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"End it positively.\", \"描述\": \"You can try to sugar the pill a little by ending with a positive note. You could show that you have been listening and plan to follow up on what you have been talking about, or say that you will pass on the information to someone you know. For example, if someone has been telling you about a film they really like, you might say “I’ll definitely watch it, thanks.”\\nAlternatively, you might say something like, “My girlfriend really loves horror movies, I’ll tell her about it. It sounds like she’ll love it.”\\nYou can point out that you have learned something from the conversation, and thank the person you were talking to.\\nYou might say, “I’d never really thought about it like that, thanks.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say goodbye.\", \"描述\": \"However boring the conversation might have been, it’s polite to say a warm and friendly goodbye. Walking off without saying goodbye is rude and unnecessary in any situation, after all the person you were talking to didn’t bore you on purpose. Saying goodbye with a positive and upbeat tone will help both you of leave the conversation without feeling awkward or uncomfortable\\nA simple and positive goodbye could just be “nice talking to you, take care.”\\nA friendly and casual goodbye could be “I’ve got to run, take it easy.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,041 | How to Be Polite on the Phone | 1. Using Basic Telephone Etiquette
1-1. Greet the other caller politely.
Whether you are placing a call or receiving a call, be sure to greet the other person politely. Greet the other caller as you would if you were seeing them in person. If you do not know the person, introduce yourself as you would if you were meeting the person for the first time in person. If you know the person you are calling, be sure to identify yourself before starting the conversation.
Common, polite greetings for placing a call are, “Hello, my name is... How are you doing today?”
If you are answering a call, a common greeting would be, “Hi, how are you? Thank you so much for calling.”
Visit our other tutorial on how to politely answer the phone.
1-2. Speak in your normal tone of voice.
If you talk too loudly into your phone, it may be uncomfortable for the person on the other line. Similarly, if you talk too quietly, it may be difficult and straining for the person on the other line to hear you. By speaking in your normal tone of voice, you will avoid making the other caller uncomfortable.
If you are worried that you are talking too loudly or too quietly, say “Excuse me, can you hear me okay?”
1-3. Speak directly into the phone’s mouthpiece.
If you are talking at a normal volume, the caller on the other line will have difficulty hearing you if you do not talk directly into your telephone’s mouthpiece. This is the intended use of the telephone, and using the device properly will ensure that the person on the other line can hear you properly.
If there is a problem with your mouthpiece, consider purchasing a hands-free headset to eliminate the problem.
1-4. Do not eat while talking on the phone.
One of the most impolite things you can do while speaking on the phone is eating, drinking, or chewing gum. Telephone receivers amplify chewing sounds, and it is impolite to make the other caller listen to these sounds. If you have lunch planned and are on the phone, either wait for the telephone conversation to finish, or ask the other caller if you may call them back after you eat.
1-5. Eliminate distractions while talking on the phone.
While talking on the phone it is important to limit distractions as much as possible. If you are at home, turn down any music that may be playing and turn off your television. Anticipate what other things may distract you before placing a call and do your best to avoid these distractions.
If there are other people in the room, consider stepping outside or walking into a different room so you are not tempted to speak with them while on the phone.
1-6. Ask to call the person back if you have bad service.
If you are talking on a cell phone in an area with poor cellular service, it is best to ask the person if you can call them back. Having to struggle through bad reception can be impolite to the other person, especially if you have to stay in the bad service for some time. Politely ask if you can call the person back at a later date, and apologize for the inconvenience.
A polite way of asking to call someone back would be to say, “Excuse me, I apologize. I seem to have poor cellular service. May I call you back as soon as possible?”
1-7. Say thank you and goodbye at the end of a call.
It is polite to say thank you at the end of a phone conversation, but it is important to say goodbye as well. Because there are no facial cues while speaking over the phone, it can often be difficult to know when the conversation has ended. By saying, “Thank you for calling, goodbye!” it will be clear to both of you that the phone conversation has ended.
Visit our other tutorial for more information on politely ending a phone call.
2. Talking on the Phone for Business
2-1. Answer the phone within 2 to 3 rings if you are receiving a call.
If you are answering the phone for a business call, it is best to not make the other person wait. Being prepared for a scheduled call will allow you to answer the phone in an appropriate amount of time, while also allowing you time to dispose of any distractions that might take away your attention.
If the call is not scheduled, it is less important to answer the call within 2 to 3 rings, but you should still answer the telephone as fast as possible.
2-2. Greet the caller by their professional title.
Address the caller by their professional title, like Mr. Brown or Mrs. Smith, instead of calling them by their first names. This is polite business etiquette in person and should be taken seriously over the telephone, as well.
If you are on a first name basis with the caller, it is okay to drop the more formal title over the telephone.
2-3. Identify yourself properly if you are making the call.
When you call someone and they answer the phone, it is important that you identify yourself and let the person know what you are calling about. This will eliminate any confusion on their end and ensure that the conversation is as efficient as possible.
2-4. Use professional language.
Avoid using slang or profanity when representing your or someone else’s business over the phone. Act as you would at work, with professional, appropriate language. If you question whether something you want to say is appropriate, imagine saying it at work and anticipate whether it would be received well.
A good rule of thumb is to act on the safe side and ignore saying anything if you question whether or not is appropriate.
2-5. Ask to put the person on hold if you have to.
Whether you are working from the office or at home, distractions will inevitably come up during a business call. If your attention needs to be elsewhere for a moment, it is proper etiquette to apologize and ask the person on the other line if it is okay that you place them on hold.
Be sure to use the “hold” function on your telephone, for it will mute your side of the line. If you forget to do this, the person on the other end may be able to hear you still.
2-6. Be patient and as helpful as possible.
There are times when business calls can become slightly tense, and staying patient is important for proper telephone etiquette. If the caller is upset about a specific problem, listen to them carefully and decide the best way to help fit their needs. Avoid being rude or impolite in any way.
If you find yourself getting aggravated, ask to put the caller on hold for a moment. Take this time to calm down, taking deep breathes and regaining control of the situation.
2-7. Leave concise voicemail messages.
If the person you are contacting does not answer, be sure to identify yourself clearly, leave your phone number, and give a brief description of why you are calling. Long-winded messages are impolite and inefficient, as the person on the other line may stop listening after some time. Use proper telephone etiquette while leaving the message and be as concise as possible.
It is good practice to write down your voicemail message before making the call so that you are prepared if the recipient does not answer the phone.
2-8. Ask for the necessary information if taking a message.
If you are taking a message for someone else, it is important to politely ask for the other person’s name, phone number, and reason for calling. Asking for these three things will keep the conversation moving and will have the other person moving on as efficiently as possible.
After you receive the necessary call back information, thank the person for calling and tell them you will pass the information on as soon as possible.
Tips
Never call or text someone after 8pm unless it's an emergency. Many people are woken up by the noise of the phone, and even if they have their phone on silent, they still may not appreciate being called so late.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Basic Telephone Etiquette\\n1-1. Greet the other caller politely.\\nWhether you are placing a call or receiving a call, be sure to greet the other person politely. Greet the other caller as you would if you were seeing them in person. If you do not know the person, introduce yourself as you would if you were meeting the person for the first time in person. If you know the person you are calling, be sure to identify yourself before starting the conversation.\\nCommon, polite greetings for placing a call are, “Hello, my name is... How are you doing today?”\\nIf you are answering a call, a common greeting would be, “Hi, how are you? Thank you so much for calling.”\\nVisit our other tutorial on how to politely answer the phone.\\n1-2. Speak in your normal tone of voice.\\nIf you talk too loudly into your phone, it may be uncomfortable for the person on the other line. Similarly, if you talk too quietly, it may be difficult and straining for the person on the other line to hear you. By speaking in your normal tone of voice, you will avoid making the other caller uncomfortable.\\nIf you are worried that you are talking too loudly or too quietly, say “Excuse me, can you hear me okay?”\\n1-3. Speak directly into the phone’s mouthpiece.\\nIf you are talking at a normal volume, the caller on the other line will have difficulty hearing you if you do not talk directly into your telephone’s mouthpiece. This is the intended use of the telephone, and using the device properly will ensure that the person on the other line can hear you properly.\\nIf there is a problem with your mouthpiece, consider purchasing a hands-free headset to eliminate the problem.\\n1-4. Do not eat while talking on the phone.\\nOne of the most impolite things you can do while speaking on the phone is eating, drinking, or chewing gum. Telephone receivers amplify chewing sounds, and it is impolite to make the other caller listen to these sounds. If you have lunch planned and are on the phone, either wait for the telephone conversation to finish, or ask the other caller if you may call them back after you eat.\\n1-5. Eliminate distractions while talking on the phone.\\nWhile talking on the phone it is important to limit distractions as much as possible. If you are at home, turn down any music that may be playing and turn off your television. Anticipate what other things may distract you before placing a call and do your best to avoid these distractions. \\nIf there are other people in the room, consider stepping outside or walking into a different room so you are not tempted to speak with them while on the phone.\\n1-6. Ask to call the person back if you have bad service.\\nIf you are talking on a cell phone in an area with poor cellular service, it is best to ask the person if you can call them back. Having to struggle through bad reception can be impolite to the other person, especially if you have to stay in the bad service for some time. Politely ask if you can call the person back at a later date, and apologize for the inconvenience.\\nA polite way of asking to call someone back would be to say, “Excuse me, I apologize. I seem to have poor cellular service. May I call you back as soon as possible?”\\n1-7. Say thank you and goodbye at the end of a call.\\nIt is polite to say thank you at the end of a phone conversation, but it is important to say goodbye as well. Because there are no facial cues while speaking over the phone, it can often be difficult to know when the conversation has ended. By saying, “Thank you for calling, goodbye!” it will be clear to both of you that the phone conversation has ended. \\nVisit our other tutorial for more information on politely ending a phone call.\\n2. Talking on the Phone for Business\\n2-1. Answer the phone within 2 to 3 rings if you are receiving a call.\\nIf you are answering the phone for a business call, it is best to not make the other person wait. Being prepared for a scheduled call will allow you to answer the phone in an appropriate amount of time, while also allowing you time to dispose of any distractions that might take away your attention.\\nIf the call is not scheduled, it is less important to answer the call within 2 to 3 rings, but you should still answer the telephone as fast as possible.\\n2-2. Greet the caller by their professional title.\\nAddress the caller by their professional title, like Mr. Brown or Mrs. Smith, instead of calling them by their first names. This is polite business etiquette in person and should be taken seriously over the telephone, as well. \\nIf you are on a first name basis with the caller, it is okay to drop the more formal title over the telephone.\\n2-3. Identify yourself properly if you are making the call.\\nWhen you call someone and they answer the phone, it is important that you identify yourself and let the person know what you are calling about. This will eliminate any confusion on their end and ensure that the conversation is as efficient as possible.\\n2-4. Use professional language.\\nAvoid using slang or profanity when representing your or someone else’s business over the phone. Act as you would at work, with professional, appropriate language. If you question whether something you want to say is appropriate, imagine saying it at work and anticipate whether it would be received well.\\nA good rule of thumb is to act on the safe side and ignore saying anything if you question whether or not is appropriate.\\n2-5. Ask to put the person on hold if you have to.\\nWhether you are working from the office or at home, distractions will inevitably come up during a business call. If your attention needs to be elsewhere for a moment, it is proper etiquette to apologize and ask the person on the other line if it is okay that you place them on hold.\\nBe sure to use the “hold” function on your telephone, for it will mute your side of the line. If you forget to do this, the person on the other end may be able to hear you still.\\n2-6. Be patient and as helpful as possible.\\nThere are times when business calls can become slightly tense, and staying patient is important for proper telephone etiquette. If the caller is upset about a specific problem, listen to them carefully and decide the best way to help fit their needs. Avoid being rude or impolite in any way.\\nIf you find yourself getting aggravated, ask to put the caller on hold for a moment. Take this time to calm down, taking deep breathes and regaining control of the situation.\\n2-7. Leave concise voicemail messages.\\nIf the person you are contacting does not answer, be sure to identify yourself clearly, leave your phone number, and give a brief description of why you are calling. Long-winded messages are impolite and inefficient, as the person on the other line may stop listening after some time. Use proper telephone etiquette while leaving the message and be as concise as possible.\\nIt is good practice to write down your voicemail message before making the call so that you are prepared if the recipient does not answer the phone.\\n2-8. Ask for the necessary information if taking a message.\\nIf you are taking a message for someone else, it is important to politely ask for the other person’s name, phone number, and reason for calling. Asking for these three things will keep the conversation moving and will have the other person moving on as efficiently as possible.\\nAfter you receive the necessary call back information, thank the person for calling and tell them you will pass the information on as soon as possible.\\nTips\\nNever call or text someone after 8pm unless it's an emergency. Many people are woken up by the noise of the phone, and even if they have their phone on silent, they still may not appreciate being called so late.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Understanding proper telephone etiquette is an important skill to have no matter what you do professionally. Whether having a casual conversation with a friend or talking to someone for business reasons, there are ways you can ensure that you are being polite.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Basic Telephone Etiquette\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Greet the other caller politely.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you are placing a call or receiving a call, be sure to greet the other person politely. Greet the other caller as you would if you were seeing them in person. If you do not know the person, introduce yourself as you would if you were meeting the person for the first time in person. If you know the person you are calling, be sure to identify yourself before starting the conversation.\\nCommon, polite greetings for placing a call are, “Hello, my name is... How are you doing today?”\\nIf you are answering a call, a common greeting would be, “Hi, how are you? Thank you so much for calling.”\\nVisit our other tutorial on how to politely answer the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak in your normal tone of voice.\", \"描述\": \"If you talk too loudly into your phone, it may be uncomfortable for the person on the other line. Similarly, if you talk too quietly, it may be difficult and straining for the person on the other line to hear you. By speaking in your normal tone of voice, you will avoid making the other caller uncomfortable.\\nIf you are worried that you are talking too loudly or too quietly, say “Excuse me, can you hear me okay?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speak directly into the phone’s mouthpiece.\", \"描述\": \"If you are talking at a normal volume, the caller on the other line will have difficulty hearing you if you do not talk directly into your telephone’s mouthpiece. This is the intended use of the telephone, and using the device properly will ensure that the person on the other line can hear you properly.\\nIf there is a problem with your mouthpiece, consider purchasing a hands-free headset to eliminate the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do not eat while talking on the phone.\", \"描述\": \"One of the most impolite things you can do while speaking on the phone is eating, drinking, or chewing gum. Telephone receivers amplify chewing sounds, and it is impolite to make the other caller listen to these sounds. If you have lunch planned and are on the phone, either wait for the telephone conversation to finish, or ask the other caller if you may call them back after you eat.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eliminate distractions while talking on the phone.\", \"描述\": \"While talking on the phone it is important to limit distractions as much as possible. If you are at home, turn down any music that may be playing and turn off your television. Anticipate what other things may distract you before placing a call and do your best to avoid these distractions. \\nIf there are other people in the room, consider stepping outside or walking into a different room so you are not tempted to speak with them while on the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask to call the person back if you have bad service.\", \"描述\": \"If you are talking on a cell phone in an area with poor cellular service, it is best to ask the person if you can call them back. Having to struggle through bad reception can be impolite to the other person, especially if you have to stay in the bad service for some time. Politely ask if you can call the person back at a later date, and apologize for the inconvenience.\\nA polite way of asking to call someone back would be to say, “Excuse me, I apologize. I seem to have poor cellular service. May I call you back as soon as possible?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Say thank you and goodbye at the end of a call.\", \"描述\": \"It is polite to say thank you at the end of a phone conversation, but it is important to say goodbye as well. Because there are no facial cues while speaking over the phone, it can often be difficult to know when the conversation has ended. By saying, “Thank you for calling, goodbye!” it will be clear to both of you that the phone conversation has ended. \\nVisit our other tutorial for more information on politely ending a phone call.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking on the Phone for Business\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Answer the phone within 2 to 3 rings if you are receiving a call.\", \"描述\": \"If you are answering the phone for a business call, it is best to not make the other person wait. Being prepared for a scheduled call will allow you to answer the phone in an appropriate amount of time, while also allowing you time to dispose of any distractions that might take away your attention.\\nIf the call is not scheduled, it is less important to answer the call within 2 to 3 rings, but you should still answer the telephone as fast as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Greet the caller by their professional title.\", \"描述\": \"Address the caller by their professional title, like Mr. Brown or Mrs. Smith, instead of calling them by their first names. This is polite business etiquette in person and should be taken seriously over the telephone, as well. \\nIf you are on a first name basis with the caller, it is okay to drop the more formal title over the telephone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify yourself properly if you are making the call.\", \"描述\": \"When you call someone and they answer the phone, it is important that you identify yourself and let the person know what you are calling about. This will eliminate any confusion on their end and ensure that the conversation is as efficient as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use professional language.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid using slang or profanity when representing your or someone else’s business over the phone. Act as you would at work, with professional, appropriate language. If you question whether something you want to say is appropriate, imagine saying it at work and anticipate whether it would be received well.\\nA good rule of thumb is to act on the safe side and ignore saying anything if you question whether or not is appropriate.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask to put the person on hold if you have to.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you are working from the office or at home, distractions will inevitably come up during a business call. If your attention needs to be elsewhere for a moment, it is proper etiquette to apologize and ask the person on the other line if it is okay that you place them on hold.\\nBe sure to use the “hold” function on your telephone, for it will mute your side of the line. If you forget to do this, the person on the other end may be able to hear you still.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be patient and as helpful as possible.\", \"描述\": \"There are times when business calls can become slightly tense, and staying patient is important for proper telephone etiquette. If the caller is upset about a specific problem, listen to them carefully and decide the best way to help fit their needs. Avoid being rude or impolite in any way.\\nIf you find yourself getting aggravated, ask to put the caller on hold for a moment. Take this time to calm down, taking deep breathes and regaining control of the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Leave concise voicemail messages.\", \"描述\": \"If the person you are contacting does not answer, be sure to identify yourself clearly, leave your phone number, and give a brief description of why you are calling. Long-winded messages are impolite and inefficient, as the person on the other line may stop listening after some time. Use proper telephone etiquette while leaving the message and be as concise as possible.\\nIt is good practice to write down your voicemail message before making the call so that you are prepared if the recipient does not answer the phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask for the necessary information if taking a message.\", \"描述\": \"If you are taking a message for someone else, it is important to politely ask for the other person’s name, phone number, and reason for calling. Asking for these three things will keep the conversation moving and will have the other person moving on as efficiently as possible.\\nAfter you receive the necessary call back information, thank the person for calling and tell them you will pass the information on as soon as possible.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Never call or text someone after 8pm unless it's an emergency. Many people are woken up by the noise of the phone, and even if they have their phone on silent, they still may not appreciate being called so late.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,042 | How to Be Polite when Texting | 1. Steps
1-1. Use "haha's" generously.
When texting, the other person cannot see or hear your reaction, so things that sound nice when you say them may not read that way. Answering a casual, light-hearted question with "Yes, haha" or "Yeah" rather than just "Yes" will show your text-ee that you are in a good mood. The same goes for smilies. But don't go overboard; one smiley per text is plenty.
1-2. Make an effort to continue the conversation.
If a friend texts you something amusing, don't just respond with "lol." This leaves your friend with nothing to build the conversation on. Instead, try to follow up the "lol" with a question or an observation to keep the conversation flowing.
1-3. If the conversation isn't flowing, let it die.
In the event of a "text trap," which is where someone keeps texting you and won't stop, do not try to get out of it simply by saying "haha," "lol," or "yeah." The person may either not get the hint and continue texting you, or they may feel that you are a rude texter and not wish to associate with you. The best thing to do is to simply stop responding. They will understand. This also works when a friend says something you appreciate, but have no response for. Just let the conversation go.
Tips
Avoid using "lol" more than once in the same text. Chat-speak is fine, but too much is usually frowned upon. "Haha's" are more easily accepted forms of "laugh-filler."
Here's a good rhyme to remember: T9 is your friend, but proofread before you send.
If a conversation is running really long, just call the person instead of texting. It is more convenient.
Warnings
If you don't have a cell phone plan with unlimited texting, be careful not to go over your texting limit or the bill may become very expensive.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Use \\\"haha's\\\" generously.\\nWhen texting, the other person cannot see or hear your reaction, so things that sound nice when you say them may not read that way. Answering a casual, light-hearted question with \\\"Yes, haha\\\" or \\\"Yeah\\\" rather than just \\\"Yes\\\" will show your text-ee that you are in a good mood. The same goes for smilies. But don't go overboard; one smiley per text is plenty.\\n1-2. Make an effort to continue the conversation.\\nIf a friend texts you something amusing, don't just respond with \\\"lol.\\\" This leaves your friend with nothing to build the conversation on. Instead, try to follow up the \\\"lol\\\" with a question or an observation to keep the conversation flowing.\\n1-3. If the conversation isn't flowing, let it die.\\nIn the event of a \\\"text trap,\\\" which is where someone keeps texting you and won't stop, do not try to get out of it simply by saying \\\"haha,\\\" \\\"lol,\\\" or \\\"yeah.\\\" The person may either not get the hint and continue texting you, or they may feel that you are a rude texter and not wish to associate with you. The best thing to do is to simply stop responding. They will understand. This also works when a friend says something you appreciate, but have no response for. Just let the conversation go.\\nTips\\nAvoid using \\\"lol\\\" more than once in the same text. Chat-speak is fine, but too much is usually frowned upon. \\\"Haha's\\\" are more easily accepted forms of \\\"laugh-filler.\\\"\\nHere's a good rhyme to remember: T9 is your friend, but proofread before you send.\\nIf a conversation is running really long, just call the person instead of texting. It is more convenient.\\nWarnings\\nIf you don't have a cell phone plan with unlimited texting, be careful not to go over your texting limit or the bill may become very expensive.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever noticed while texting your friends that some things come across as sounding mean or nasty, even if they're really not? It's important to maintain proper \\\"text-iquette\\\" so that the ones you are texting don't misconstrue what you say and become angry with you. Read on!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use \\\"haha's\\\" generously.\", \"描述\": \"When texting, the other person cannot see or hear your reaction, so things that sound nice when you say them may not read that way. Answering a casual, light-hearted question with \\\"Yes, haha\\\" or \\\"Yeah\\\" rather than just \\\"Yes\\\" will show your text-ee that you are in a good mood. The same goes for smilies. But don't go overboard; one smiley per text is plenty.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to continue the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If a friend texts you something amusing, don't just respond with \\\"lol.\\\" This leaves your friend with nothing to build the conversation on. Instead, try to follow up the \\\"lol\\\" with a question or an observation to keep the conversation flowing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If the conversation isn't flowing, let it die.\", \"描述\": \"In the event of a \\\"text trap,\\\" which is where someone keeps texting you and won't stop, do not try to get out of it simply by saying \\\"haha,\\\" \\\"lol,\\\" or \\\"yeah.\\\" The person may either not get the hint and continue texting you, or they may feel that you are a rude texter and not wish to associate with you. The best thing to do is to simply stop responding. They will understand. This also works when a friend says something you appreciate, but have no response for. Just let the conversation go.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid using \\\"lol\\\" more than once in the same text. Chat-speak is fine, but too much is usually frowned upon. \\\"Haha's\\\" are more easily accepted forms of \\\"laugh-filler.\\\"\\n\", \"Here's a good rhyme to remember: T9 is your friend, but proofread before you send.\\n\", \"If a conversation is running really long, just call the person instead of texting. It is more convenient.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you don't have a cell phone plan with unlimited texting, be careful not to go over your texting limit or the bill may become very expensive.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,043 | How to Be Politically Correct | 1. Becoming More Understanding
1-1. Consider your reasoning.
Why is this important to you? What are your beliefs about being politically correct? You may wish to write it down, or simply make a list in your head. Exploring your reason will help you commit to a decision and discover your priorities.
You won't automatically gain points for being "correct." This isn't a math test.
You are allowed to say whatever you want to say. Similarly, other people are allowed to voice disagreement, and free speech won't protect you from the consequences of your words. Your voice is your choice.
No one is an angel. You will slip up sometimes, and that's normal. What's most important is that you make an effort, apologize if you hurt someone, and listen to others.
1-2. Focus on kindness, not on being "right."
The phrase "politically correct" is misleading, because the spirit of what you're doing is being respectful and kind, not imposing rules. Recognize that words can hurt, and can tie into countless other hurts that people may have experienced. Focus less on yourself and your own word use, and more on the impact your words have on others.
The goal isn't to censor people, it's to encourage people to be kind.
The goal isn't to be right, but to not be a jerk, especially to people who have faced more than their fair share of hardship and jerks.
Instead of asking "am I politically correct?" ask "am I being caring and respectful towards others?"
Recognize that free speech goes both ways. Your professor has the right to go on a racist tirade online... and you have the right to screenshot that tirade, post it on social media, and say "she should be fired." Just like people have the right to be horrible jerks, you have the right to respond to that.
It's not that people are "too sensitive." It's more about being nice. After all, there's a difference between "don't step on his foot because he's a sensitive, whiny crybaby" and "watch your step because it hurts him when you step on his foot, and his foot is broken because people keep treading on it, so he could really use a break."
1-3. Assess your own prejudices.
Consider any conscious or unconscious prejudices you may hold. This can also include stereotypes you believe about groups of people. If you are aware of any negative feelings or stereotypes you hold towards individuals or groups, it will help you adjust your language and behavior towards your goal of being a respectful person.
There are a few ways to assess your own prejudices. What do you think when you hear an ethnic last name? What is your first instinct if you learn someone is gay or transgender? If someone talks or moves slowly, what do you think of them? Being honest about your initial reactions can help you identify your prejudices.
In order to challenge these internalized stereotypes, it may be helpful to ask yourself why you feel this way and where your prejudices might come from.
Besides acknowledging your prejudices, one excellent tool to identify any negative feelings you might need to work on is the Implicit Association Test (IAT). You can find this psychological test online to determine your prejudices.
1-4. Learn about different kinds of prejudice.
Understanding the prejudice in your society and around the world can help open your eyes. Learning about the struggles of others different than you can help you reevaluate your own preconceived notions. Education is an excellent way to overcome prejudices, understand those different than us, and become politically correct.
Individuals and groups are discriminated against for many different reasons including race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, culture, and socio-economic status. If you're unsure of these groups, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has information on groups who experience discrimination.
Taking a course at a university or doing some research online can help you learn more about prejudice.
1-5. Interact with those different than you.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is an important step for gaining awareness. Being politically correct doesn't just mean being mindful of what you say. It also means learning about those different from you and respecting those differences. Reach out, interact, talk, and befriend those who have a different background than you.
Find coworkers or classmates who are different from you. Ask those people from a different ethnicity, religion, sexuality, or country to go to lunch. If you're not that close, just start a conversation with them. You can talk about your differences, but you may be surprised how much you have in common.
Find culturally diverse events and experiences. Developing your thoughts and understanding that all people are equal through interactive learning will foster a respectful attitude.
1-6. Don't be afraid to ask.
Especially if you are a member of a privileged group, you may not understand the lived experiences of oppressed groups. This can be counteracted by asking questions and listening closely to the answers.
Check a search engine to see if any writers have answered your question online.
Keep your questions respectful and not too personal. "What pronouns should I use when referring to you?" and "Do you know of any good online resources where I can learn more about transgender issues?" are both reasonable questions. "What do your genitals look like?" is a very private question that should only be asked if you want to have sex with them, or you are a doctor and you need to know for medical reasons.
2. Respecting Different Communities
2-1. Notice and reflect on disrespectful language, thoughts, and actions.
If you educate yourself and keep an eye on your thoughts, this will help control and change your language and behaviors. People may interpret and draw inferences from the language you use. When you are interacting with people, you want to be an open, respectful, and informed individual instead of a careless, disrespectful person.
Avoid racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. jokes because they are always hurtful.
If you catch yourself thinking something negative, don't scold yourself. Instead ask "Why did I think that?" "Do I really agree with that?" "What would better reflect the attitude I want to have?"
2-2. Respect people of different races
Recognize racist roots of words, whether they are as inflammatory as the n-word or as subtle as referring to immigrants as illegals.
Many common expressions have roots in discrimination caused by cultural arrogance and a lack of exposure to cultural diversity. Terms such as "Chinese auction," "Indian giver," "Jew down" (negotiate), and "gyp" (a bad deal, from the derogatory term "Gypsy" for the Roma) are racist.
Many common words also have implicit discrimination in them and are thus considered harmful. For example, words such as "gypsy" and "oriental" are derogatory. Instead use "Roma" for "gypsy" or "Asian" for "oriental.
2-3. Recognize what counts as cultural appropriation.
"Cultural appropriation" happens when a member of the dominant group copies parts of a non-dominant group without acknowledging the meaning of the source. Think of it like a cheap knockoff. It exploits the aesthetic while ignoring the meaning and history. And it usually reinforces stereotypes. Here are some examples of what is and isn't appropriation:
Wearing a pretty necklace that you bought from a Native American craft shop isn't cultural appropriation. That's supporting an artist. Dressing up like a "Native American" with headdresses and feathers for Halloween is cultural appropriation.
Buying a black singer's album and singing the songs you like isn't appropriation. That's enjoying their music. Making a fashion statement by copying black people's hairstyles, which they often face discrimination for, is appropriation.
Making curry for dinner because you like it is not appropriation. It's enjoying good food. Wearing a bindi because you think it's cute or trendy, ignoring its cultural context, is appropriation.
Celebrating Lunar New Year with your Chinese friend is not appropriation. It's joining a celebration where you were invited. Dressing up as a geisha or getting a random Chinese character tattooed on your body because it's "pretty" or "deep" is appropriation.
Buying a weighted blanket and fidget toys is not appropriating autistic culture. In fact, it helps normalize these things and make them more affordable, which is good. Copying the imagery of the autism rights movement while working against its goals is appropriation.
2-4. Use language that includes LGBTQIA+ people.
Some people are bisexual, transgender, asexual, genderfluid, etc. and they deserve respect and inclusion. Work on substituting gender-neutral language to include people of different sexual orientations and gender identities.
Don't assume that people are straight (or even monogamous). Ask "Do you have any partners?" or "Are you engaged/dating anyone"? rather than "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"
Don't generalize about genitals. Some women have penises/testicles and some men have clitorises/vaginas. Furthermore, intersex people exist.
Respect gender identities. There are more than two genders, and agender, genderfluid, etc. people exist. A person's real name is the name that they accept as the one that matches their gender.
If you're unsure how to be respectful towards someone's identity, just ask them. They'll appreciate your good intentions.
2-5. Avoid exclusionary, gender-specific language.
Gender-specific language can be extremely harmful. Sexism, or discrimination against a person due to their marginalized gender identity, is used often (and frequently inadvertently). Try to avoid giving things genders in your mind, or out loud things, such as jobs; additionally, refrain from claiming actions, occupations, or items are "male" or "female."
Use gender-neutral job titles when you aren't referring to a specific person. For example, say "chairperson" or "chair" instead of "chairman"; "firefighter" is preferable to "fireman"; a "police officer" includes all genders; and "flight attendant" replaces "steward" and "stewardess." The use of gender-specific titles is usually acceptable when addressing an individual. For example, if you are introducing a male chairperson, then you may say, "Please welcome Mr. Smith, our Chairman of the Board."
Using terms and titles such as "woman's work" or "secretary" (instead of "administrative assistant") is demeaning and belittling.
Calling women "girls" (instead of "ladies" or "women") is infantilizing and discounts that the place of women in the world is equal to men.
2-6. Support victims of abuse, sexual harassment, and rape.
Violence is a serious issue that many people reference or joke about in casual conversation, alienating victims and making it difficult for them to speak up. You can help by respecting them and taking them seriously.
Recognize that not all victims are female. Use gender-inclusive language when discussing these social issues.
Making comments like "they asked for it" when someone is attacked is cruel. Everyone, regardless of clothing or unwise choices, deserves basic safety.
Avoid rape jokes, as these can be hurtful to survivors. They can also suggest to would-be rapists that you might take their side if they hurt someone.
2-7. Avoid making religious assumptions or pushing religion in mixed religious company.
The world has innumerable different religions and not everyone shares the same beliefs. When speaking to a group of people, you may be talking to people from many different religions, or speaking to people who are agnostic or atheist. Limit the amount of religious terms in your language, especially when speaking in groups of people. Save the religious discussions for when you're with people of your religion or when someone says they're open to discussing it.
Avoid religious statements when talking to non-religious people, or people of an unknown religion. For example, instead of telling a sick atheist you'll pray for them, say that your thoughts are with them and their family.
It's also a good idea to avoid referencing "God/god." Every religious group has different names for and rules for saying the term. Jews do not say the name of god, Muslims refer to their god as Allah, and Hindus worship many different gods.
Asking questions like "what would Jesus do?" to an individual whose religion you don't know or group that isn't entirely Christian is ill-advised.
There is an exception to using religious terms: to describe either academic or specific characteristics of a religious group. You may say "Evangelical Christians hold certain beliefs...", or "members of the Jewish faith celebrate Yom Kippur...".
2-8. Avoid expressions that devalue people with physical or mental disabilities.
Some people prefer identity-first language ("disabled person") while others prefer person-first language ("person with a disability"), and it's best to respect their individual preference. Make sure not to use derogatory terms such as "ret*rd" and "midget," and avoid using words rooted in disability as insults.
Words such as "dumb," "crippled," "derp," and "psycho" are examples of disability-based insults/slurs. They imply that disability is demeaning.
Treat disabled people like ordinary people, accommodating any needs without resistance, and treating the disability as natural. Offer help if they're struggling, and don't push it on them if they say they can handle it.
Use person-first language for most disabilities, such as "person with Down Syndrome" rather than "Down Syndrome person." The Autistic, Blind, and Deaf communities are a few notable exceptions (e.g. "autistic person"). When unsure, ask an individual about their preferences.
2-9. Be accepting towards people of different sizes.
Heavier people, especially women, experience discrimination and hardship because of social attitudes about weight. Be conscious of hurtful stereotypes regarding fat people being lazy, unhealthy, greedy, et cetera. Similarly, don't make rude remarks to skinny people or treat a thin man like he is less manly.
Other people's bodies aren't your business. Don't comment on their weight or offer unsolicited advice about how to change their bodies. If they don't ask about it, don't bring it up.
Don't assume a slimmer person has an eating disorder. Even if they appear unhealthy, telling them to "eat a cheeseburger" won't help.
Watch your language closely. Some people, particularly fat acceptance advocates, self-identify as "fat" and encourage the destigmatization of the word. Other people could be very hurt by that adjective.
Also, don't shame or belittle people based on the size or traits of their private parts.
2-10. Keep practicing and learning.
Become familiar the terms that various communities view as acceptable, and which ones are hurtful. Then start using them in your own speech. The more you practice consideration and respect, the easier it will be and the less likely you are to upset someone.
3. Speaking with Individuals or Groups
3-1. Apply your knowledge.
In conversations or discussions with groups or individuals, remember what you've learned while working on yourself. Your goal is not to knowingly hurt any person or group of people with your language or actions.
3-2. Know the situation.
Are you in the workplace? A conference? A friend's party? Or maybe a family dinner? Each of these situations has different social rules for polite behavior. If you are aware of your surroundings, it will guide you to what words and actions are appropriate in any situation.
Formal situations such as the workplace or professional events have the highest standards and largest consequences. Informal and private situations are more relaxed, but sensitivity still matters. You may be talking to someone of an oppressed group, and even if not, private attitudes shape how people respond to minorities.
Consider the individual or persons in the group. Even if they are not minorities, their friends, family, and acquaintances may be. Do you want to encourage empathy, or dismissiveness? Compassion, or disrespect?
3-3. Refrain from language that groups people into one large category.
Don't lump people together based on religion, sexual orientation, gender, and ethnicity. Not everyone in a group is the same, acts the same, or believes the same things. This kind of language reduces a person to that one category, when people are so much more.
For example, don't refer to groups by saying things like: the deaf, the gays, the Jews, or the Blacks. If you are referring to a social group, acknowledge differences. "Many blind people feel that..."
Use language that makes a person or group feel like they are equal and included in any situation.
3-4. Avoid segregating language.
When speaking to or about other groups, avoid unnecessary us-vs-them language. This suggests a separation instead of equality and inclusion.
3-5. Respect what people call themselves.
Every individual and group has the right to choose the language that best describes their race, class, sex, gender, sexual orientation, culture, religion, or physical ability.
If you're not sure of someone's preference, you can ask them. For example, "I don't want to offend you and was wondering if you call yourself Black or African American?" If they are neither, show interest and ask how they'd like to be referred to. If you make your good intentions clear, they will most likely take it well.
Don't use controversial terms if you aren't a group member. For example, many Roma self-identify as gypsies. Unless you are a member of the Roma community, avoid using "gypsy" and always use Roma. It isn't your word to reclaim.
Skip the trendy terms. Most of these terms are used by members not part of the group. For example, don't call a person with disabilities "handi-capable" or "differently abled" or a short person "vertically challenged." Many people find these terms to be weird. This also means taking the words of those directly affected over those of "allies" in psychology or sociology who may stress the use of certain terms.
3-6. Respond gracefully if you're told that your words hurt someone.
It's not personal, so don't get defensive. Accept any individual or group's choice to reject language that offends them. If you accidentally use the wrong language or offend someone or a group, apologize for your mistake and use the term they have chosen for themselves.
If you get too upset, it's okay to step back and say that you need to take a few minutes to think. Take a break. Pause before reacting.
3-7. Educate instead of criticize when correcting someone.
If you run into someone who is acting hurtful or being degrading about someone, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. You want to avoid fighting with someone, being superior, or criticizing them. Instead, talk to the person about the term. Open the lines of communication and engage in dialogue instead of humiliating them or telling them they are horrible.
When in doubt, assume that they meant well.
Bear in mind the possibility that the person in question may not match your expectations. Some people choose to "pass" as the status quo in order to avoid harassment, and others may not fit neatly into a stereotype or your assumptions of what an oppressed or privileged person would look like or how they would act.
Criticize the actions, not the person. "Please stop making fun of Hispanic immigrants. As a person who has Hispanic friends, I feel that those jokes really hurtful and demeaning to them."
Protect their ego while critiquing their actions. "I'm surprised to hear a considerate person like you say something so hurtful about people with Down syndrome."
Try leading and ending with a compliment when you correct someone. Start with a compliment, like how you think the person made a good point or wrote a good article. Then, follow that with your correction or critique. Remember, do it in a nice way, not a rude way. Then finish it up with a compliment, like how you pointed it out because they seem like a thoughtful person.
3-8. Respect different opinions.
If you want to talk about touchy subjects, such as religion or politics, make sure that you are open to other opinions. People form their opinions based on backgrounds and experiences. If you are going to share your opinion, be open to listening to others. You may learn information or a perspective that helps inform your own opinion. Everyone has something to teach you.
Share the spotlight. Let other people be heard too.
Pay close attention to opinions different from yours. This is your opportunity to learn something new.
3-9. Focus on the people, first and foremost.
Respectful language isn't about you and your reputation—it's about kindness towards others. Keep being respectful, accepting, and inclusive in your words and thoughts. It's hard to go wrong if you keep valuing other people.
Remember that your words can have an impact.
When in doubt, choose the kinder or more polite option.
3-10. Focus on valuing diverse people.
Your first reaction to someone who is different may be confusion or fear—so take a deep breath, remember that the other person matters, and let your second reaction be one of acceptance and respect. Work on viewing individual differences as important and meaningful.
Tips
Remember to be empathetic. Your don't want to harm or offend anyone.
If you accidentally offend someone, apologize for your mistake and learn from the situation. This will help you interact with this person or group, and other persons and groups, in the future.
If you're unsure in a situation, one rule of thumb is that some things are better left unsaid.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Becoming More Understanding\\n1-1. Consider your reasoning.\\nWhy is this important to you? What are your beliefs about being politically correct? You may wish to write it down, or simply make a list in your head. Exploring your reason will help you commit to a decision and discover your priorities. \\nYou won't automatically gain points for being \\\"correct.\\\" This isn't a math test.\\nYou are allowed to say whatever you want to say. Similarly, other people are allowed to voice disagreement, and free speech won't protect you from the consequences of your words. Your voice is your choice.\\nNo one is an angel. You will slip up sometimes, and that's normal. What's most important is that you make an effort, apologize if you hurt someone, and listen to others.\\n1-2. Focus on kindness, not on being \\\"right.\\\"\\nThe phrase \\\"politically correct\\\" is misleading, because the spirit of what you're doing is being respectful and kind, not imposing rules. Recognize that words can hurt, and can tie into countless other hurts that people may have experienced. Focus less on yourself and your own word use, and more on the impact your words have on others. \\nThe goal isn't to censor people, it's to encourage people to be kind.\\nThe goal isn't to be right, but to not be a jerk, especially to people who have faced more than their fair share of hardship and jerks.\\nInstead of asking \\\"am I politically correct?\\\" ask \\\"am I being caring and respectful towards others?\\\"\\nRecognize that free speech goes both ways. Your professor has the right to go on a racist tirade online... and you have the right to screenshot that tirade, post it on social media, and say \\\"she should be fired.\\\" Just like people have the right to be horrible jerks, you have the right to respond to that.\\nIt's not that people are \\\"too sensitive.\\\" It's more about being nice. After all, there's a difference between \\\"don't step on his foot because he's a sensitive, whiny crybaby\\\" and \\\"watch your step because it hurts him when you step on his foot, and his foot is broken because people keep treading on it, so he could really use a break.\\\"\\n1-3. Assess your own prejudices.\\nConsider any conscious or unconscious prejudices you may hold. This can also include stereotypes you believe about groups of people. If you are aware of any negative feelings or stereotypes you hold towards individuals or groups, it will help you adjust your language and behavior towards your goal of being a respectful person. \\nThere are a few ways to assess your own prejudices. What do you think when you hear an ethnic last name? What is your first instinct if you learn someone is gay or transgender? If someone talks or moves slowly, what do you think of them? Being honest about your initial reactions can help you identify your prejudices.\\nIn order to challenge these internalized stereotypes, it may be helpful to ask yourself why you feel this way and where your prejudices might come from.\\nBesides acknowledging your prejudices, one excellent tool to identify any negative feelings you might need to work on is the Implicit Association Test (IAT). You can find this psychological test online to determine your prejudices.\\n1-4. Learn about different kinds of prejudice.\\nUnderstanding the prejudice in your society and around the world can help open your eyes. Learning about the struggles of others different than you can help you reevaluate your own preconceived notions. Education is an excellent way to overcome prejudices, understand those different than us, and become politically correct. \\nIndividuals and groups are discriminated against for many different reasons including race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, culture, and socio-economic status. If you're unsure of these groups, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has information on groups who experience discrimination.\\nTaking a course at a university or doing some research online can help you learn more about prejudice.\\n1-5. Interact with those different than you.\\nStepping outside of your comfort zone is an important step for gaining awareness. Being politically correct doesn't just mean being mindful of what you say. It also means learning about those different from you and respecting those differences. Reach out, interact, talk, and befriend those who have a different background than you.\\nFind coworkers or classmates who are different from you. Ask those people from a different ethnicity, religion, sexuality, or country to go to lunch. If you're not that close, just start a conversation with them. You can talk about your differences, but you may be surprised how much you have in common.\\nFind culturally diverse events and experiences. Developing your thoughts and understanding that all people are equal through interactive learning will foster a respectful attitude.\\n1-6. Don't be afraid to ask.\\nEspecially if you are a member of a privileged group, you may not understand the lived experiences of oppressed groups. This can be counteracted by asking questions and listening closely to the answers. \\nCheck a search engine to see if any writers have answered your question online.\\nKeep your questions respectful and not too personal. \\\"What pronouns should I use when referring to you?\\\" and \\\"Do you know of any good online resources where I can learn more about transgender issues?\\\" are both reasonable questions. \\\"What do your genitals look like?\\\" is a very private question that should only be asked if you want to have sex with them, or you are a doctor and you need to know for medical reasons.\\n2. Respecting Different Communities\\n2-1. Notice and reflect on disrespectful language, thoughts, and actions.\\nIf you educate yourself and keep an eye on your thoughts, this will help control and change your language and behaviors. People may interpret and draw inferences from the language you use. When you are interacting with people, you want to be an open, respectful, and informed individual instead of a careless, disrespectful person. \\nAvoid racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. jokes because they are always hurtful.\\nIf you catch yourself thinking something negative, don't scold yourself. Instead ask \\\"Why did I think that?\\\" \\\"Do I really agree with that?\\\" \\\"What would better reflect the attitude I want to have?\\\"\\n2-2. Respect people of different races\\nRecognize racist roots of words, whether they are as inflammatory as the n-word or as subtle as referring to immigrants as illegals.\\nMany common expressions have roots in discrimination caused by cultural arrogance and a lack of exposure to cultural diversity. Terms such as \\\"Chinese auction,\\\" \\\"Indian giver,\\\" \\\"Jew down\\\" (negotiate), and \\\"gyp\\\" (a bad deal, from the derogatory term \\\"Gypsy\\\" for the Roma) are racist.\\nMany common words also have implicit discrimination in them and are thus considered harmful. For example, words such as \\\"gypsy\\\" and \\\"oriental\\\" are derogatory. Instead use \\\"Roma\\\" for \\\"gypsy\\\" or \\\"Asian\\\" for \\\"oriental.\\n2-3. Recognize what counts as cultural appropriation.\\n\\\"Cultural appropriation\\\" happens when a member of the dominant group copies parts of a non-dominant group without acknowledging the meaning of the source. Think of it like a cheap knockoff. It exploits the aesthetic while ignoring the meaning and history. And it usually reinforces stereotypes. Here are some examples of what is and isn't appropriation:\\nWearing a pretty necklace that you bought from a Native American craft shop isn't cultural appropriation. That's supporting an artist. Dressing up like a \\\"Native American\\\" with headdresses and feathers for Halloween is cultural appropriation.\\nBuying a black singer's album and singing the songs you like isn't appropriation. That's enjoying their music. Making a fashion statement by copying black people's hairstyles, which they often face discrimination for, is appropriation.\\nMaking curry for dinner because you like it is not appropriation. It's enjoying good food. Wearing a bindi because you think it's cute or trendy, ignoring its cultural context, is appropriation.\\nCelebrating Lunar New Year with your Chinese friend is not appropriation. It's joining a celebration where you were invited. Dressing up as a geisha or getting a random Chinese character tattooed on your body because it's \\\"pretty\\\" or \\\"deep\\\" is appropriation.\\nBuying a weighted blanket and fidget toys is not appropriating autistic culture. In fact, it helps normalize these things and make them more affordable, which is good. Copying the imagery of the autism rights movement while working against its goals is appropriation.\\n2-4. Use language that includes LGBTQIA+ people.\\nSome people are bisexual, transgender, asexual, genderfluid, etc. and they deserve respect and inclusion. Work on substituting gender-neutral language to include people of different sexual orientations and gender identities. \\nDon't assume that people are straight (or even monogamous). Ask \\\"Do you have any partners?\\\" or \\\"Are you engaged/dating anyone\\\"? rather than \\\"Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?\\\"\\nDon't generalize about genitals. Some women have penises/testicles and some men have clitorises/vaginas. Furthermore, intersex people exist.\\nRespect gender identities. There are more than two genders, and agender, genderfluid, etc. people exist. A person's real name is the name that they accept as the one that matches their gender.\\nIf you're unsure how to be respectful towards someone's identity, just ask them. They'll appreciate your good intentions.\\n2-5. Avoid exclusionary, gender-specific language.\\nGender-specific language can be extremely harmful. Sexism, or discrimination against a person due to their marginalized gender identity, is used often (and frequently inadvertently). Try to avoid giving things genders in your mind, or out loud things, such as jobs; additionally, refrain from claiming actions, occupations, or items are \\\"male\\\" or \\\"female.\\\" \\nUse gender-neutral job titles when you aren't referring to a specific person. For example, say \\\"chairperson\\\" or \\\"chair\\\" instead of \\\"chairman\\\"; \\\"firefighter\\\" is preferable to \\\"fireman\\\"; a \\\"police officer\\\" includes all genders; and \\\"flight attendant\\\" replaces \\\"steward\\\" and \\\"stewardess.\\\" The use of gender-specific titles is usually acceptable when addressing an individual. For example, if you are introducing a male chairperson, then you may say, \\\"Please welcome Mr. Smith, our Chairman of the Board.\\\"\\nUsing terms and titles such as \\\"woman's work\\\" or \\\"secretary\\\" (instead of \\\"administrative assistant\\\") is demeaning and belittling.\\nCalling women \\\"girls\\\" (instead of \\\"ladies\\\" or \\\"women\\\") is infantilizing and discounts that the place of women in the world is equal to men.\\n2-6. Support victims of abuse, sexual harassment, and rape.\\nViolence is a serious issue that many people reference or joke about in casual conversation, alienating victims and making it difficult for them to speak up. You can help by respecting them and taking them seriously. \\nRecognize that not all victims are female. Use gender-inclusive language when discussing these social issues.\\nMaking comments like \\\"they asked for it\\\" when someone is attacked is cruel. Everyone, regardless of clothing or unwise choices, deserves basic safety.\\nAvoid rape jokes, as these can be hurtful to survivors. They can also suggest to would-be rapists that you might take their side if they hurt someone.\\n2-7. Avoid making religious assumptions or pushing religion in mixed religious company.\\nThe world has innumerable different religions and not everyone shares the same beliefs. When speaking to a group of people, you may be talking to people from many different religions, or speaking to people who are agnostic or atheist. Limit the amount of religious terms in your language, especially when speaking in groups of people. Save the religious discussions for when you're with people of your religion or when someone says they're open to discussing it. \\nAvoid religious statements when talking to non-religious people, or people of an unknown religion. For example, instead of telling a sick atheist you'll pray for them, say that your thoughts are with them and their family.\\nIt's also a good idea to avoid referencing \\\"God/god.\\\" Every religious group has different names for and rules for saying the term. Jews do not say the name of god, Muslims refer to their god as Allah, and Hindus worship many different gods.\\nAsking questions like \\\"what would Jesus do?\\\" to an individual whose religion you don't know or group that isn't entirely Christian is ill-advised.\\nThere is an exception to using religious terms: to describe either academic or specific characteristics of a religious group. You may say \\\"Evangelical Christians hold certain beliefs...\\\", or \\\"members of the Jewish faith celebrate Yom Kippur...\\\".\\n2-8. Avoid expressions that devalue people with physical or mental disabilities.\\nSome people prefer identity-first language (\\\"disabled person\\\") while others prefer person-first language (\\\"person with a disability\\\"), and it's best to respect their individual preference. Make sure not to use derogatory terms such as \\\"ret*rd\\\" and \\\"midget,\\\" and avoid using words rooted in disability as insults. \\nWords such as \\\"dumb,\\\" \\\"crippled,\\\" \\\"derp,\\\" and \\\"psycho\\\" are examples of disability-based insults/slurs. They imply that disability is demeaning.\\nTreat disabled people like ordinary people, accommodating any needs without resistance, and treating the disability as natural. Offer help if they're struggling, and don't push it on them if they say they can handle it.\\nUse person-first language for most disabilities, such as \\\"person with Down Syndrome\\\" rather than \\\"Down Syndrome person.\\\" The Autistic, Blind, and Deaf communities are a few notable exceptions (e.g. \\\"autistic person\\\"). When unsure, ask an individual about their preferences.\\n2-9. Be accepting towards people of different sizes.\\nHeavier people, especially women, experience discrimination and hardship because of social attitudes about weight. Be conscious of hurtful stereotypes regarding fat people being lazy, unhealthy, greedy, et cetera. Similarly, don't make rude remarks to skinny people or treat a thin man like he is less manly. \\nOther people's bodies aren't your business. Don't comment on their weight or offer unsolicited advice about how to change their bodies. If they don't ask about it, don't bring it up.\\nDon't assume a slimmer person has an eating disorder. Even if they appear unhealthy, telling them to \\\"eat a cheeseburger\\\" won't help.\\nWatch your language closely. Some people, particularly fat acceptance advocates, self-identify as \\\"fat\\\" and encourage the destigmatization of the word. Other people could be very hurt by that adjective.\\nAlso, don't shame or belittle people based on the size or traits of their private parts.\\n2-10. Keep practicing and learning.\\nBecome familiar the terms that various communities view as acceptable, and which ones are hurtful. Then start using them in your own speech. The more you practice consideration and respect, the easier it will be and the less likely you are to upset someone.\\n3. Speaking with Individuals or Groups\\n3-1. Apply your knowledge.\\nIn conversations or discussions with groups or individuals, remember what you've learned while working on yourself. Your goal is not to knowingly hurt any person or group of people with your language or actions.\\n3-2. Know the situation.\\nAre you in the workplace? A conference? A friend's party? Or maybe a family dinner? Each of these situations has different social rules for polite behavior. If you are aware of your surroundings, it will guide you to what words and actions are appropriate in any situation. \\nFormal situations such as the workplace or professional events have the highest standards and largest consequences. Informal and private situations are more relaxed, but sensitivity still matters. You may be talking to someone of an oppressed group, and even if not, private attitudes shape how people respond to minorities.\\nConsider the individual or persons in the group. Even if they are not minorities, their friends, family, and acquaintances may be. Do you want to encourage empathy, or dismissiveness? Compassion, or disrespect?\\n3-3. Refrain from language that groups people into one large category.\\nDon't lump people together based on religion, sexual orientation, gender, and ethnicity. Not everyone in a group is the same, acts the same, or believes the same things. This kind of language reduces a person to that one category, when people are so much more. \\nFor example, don't refer to groups by saying things like: the deaf, the gays, the Jews, or the Blacks. If you are referring to a social group, acknowledge differences. \\\"Many blind people feel that...\\\"\\nUse language that makes a person or group feel like they are equal and included in any situation.\\n3-4. Avoid segregating language.\\nWhen speaking to or about other groups, avoid unnecessary us-vs-them language. This suggests a separation instead of equality and inclusion.\\n3-5. Respect what people call themselves.\\nEvery individual and group has the right to choose the language that best describes their race, class, sex, gender, sexual orientation, culture, religion, or physical ability. \\nIf you're not sure of someone's preference, you can ask them. For example, \\\"I don't want to offend you and was wondering if you call yourself Black or African American?\\\" If they are neither, show interest and ask how they'd like to be referred to. If you make your good intentions clear, they will most likely take it well.\\nDon't use controversial terms if you aren't a group member. For example, many Roma self-identify as gypsies. Unless you are a member of the Roma community, avoid using \\\"gypsy\\\" and always use Roma. It isn't your word to reclaim.\\nSkip the trendy terms. Most of these terms are used by members not part of the group. For example, don't call a person with disabilities \\\"handi-capable\\\" or \\\"differently abled\\\" or a short person \\\"vertically challenged.\\\" Many people find these terms to be weird. This also means taking the words of those directly affected over those of \\\"allies\\\" in psychology or sociology who may stress the use of certain terms.\\n3-6. Respond gracefully if you're told that your words hurt someone.\\nIt's not personal, so don't get defensive. Accept any individual or group's choice to reject language that offends them. If you accidentally use the wrong language or offend someone or a group, apologize for your mistake and use the term they have chosen for themselves. \\nIf you get too upset, it's okay to step back and say that you need to take a few minutes to think. Take a break. Pause before reacting.\\n3-7. Educate instead of criticize when correcting someone.\\nIf you run into someone who is acting hurtful or being degrading about someone, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. You want to avoid fighting with someone, being superior, or criticizing them. Instead, talk to the person about the term. Open the lines of communication and engage in dialogue instead of humiliating them or telling them they are horrible. \\nWhen in doubt, assume that they meant well.\\nBear in mind the possibility that the person in question may not match your expectations. Some people choose to \\\"pass\\\" as the status quo in order to avoid harassment, and others may not fit neatly into a stereotype or your assumptions of what an oppressed or privileged person would look like or how they would act.\\nCriticize the actions, not the person. \\\"Please stop making fun of Hispanic immigrants. As a person who has Hispanic friends, I feel that those jokes really hurtful and demeaning to them.\\\"\\nProtect their ego while critiquing their actions. \\\"I'm surprised to hear a considerate person like you say something so hurtful about people with Down syndrome.\\\"\\nTry leading and ending with a compliment when you correct someone. Start with a compliment, like how you think the person made a good point or wrote a good article. Then, follow that with your correction or critique. Remember, do it in a nice way, not a rude way. Then finish it up with a compliment, like how you pointed it out because they seem like a thoughtful person.\\n3-8. Respect different opinions.\\nIf you want to talk about touchy subjects, such as religion or politics, make sure that you are open to other opinions. People form their opinions based on backgrounds and experiences. If you are going to share your opinion, be open to listening to others. You may learn information or a perspective that helps inform your own opinion. Everyone has something to teach you. \\nShare the spotlight. Let other people be heard too.\\nPay close attention to opinions different from yours. This is your opportunity to learn something new.\\n3-9. Focus on the people, first and foremost.\\nRespectful language isn't about you and your reputation—it's about kindness towards others. Keep being respectful, accepting, and inclusive in your words and thoughts. It's hard to go wrong if you keep valuing other people. \\nRemember that your words can have an impact.\\nWhen in doubt, choose the kinder or more polite option.\\n3-10. Focus on valuing diverse people.\\nYour first reaction to someone who is different may be confusion or fear—so take a deep breath, remember that the other person matters, and let your second reaction be one of acceptance and respect. Work on viewing individual differences as important and meaningful.\\nTips\\nRemember to be empathetic. Your don't want to harm or offend anyone.\\nIf you accidentally offend someone, apologize for your mistake and learn from the situation. This will help you interact with this person or group, and other persons and groups, in the future.\\nIf you're unsure in a situation, one rule of thumb is that some things are better left unsaid.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"\\\"Politically correct\\\" is a bit of a misnomer—it isn't about being right; it's about being respectful and considerate. Being politically correct means that you avoid expressions and actions that may exclude, marginalize, or offend a particular group of people. The term first became popular during the 1970s and 1980s. Political correctness has an important purpose: it promotes equality by demonstrating an understanding that all people and groups are valuable to society regardless of race, culture, religion, gender, or sexual orientation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming More Understanding\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider your reasoning.\", \"描述\": \"Why is this important to you? What are your beliefs about being politically correct? You may wish to write it down, or simply make a list in your head. Exploring your reason will help you commit to a decision and discover your priorities. \\nYou won't automatically gain points for being \\\"correct.\\\" This isn't a math test.\\nYou are allowed to say whatever you want to say. Similarly, other people are allowed to voice disagreement, and free speech won't protect you from the consequences of your words. Your voice is your choice.\\nNo one is an angel. You will slip up sometimes, and that's normal. What's most important is that you make an effort, apologize if you hurt someone, and listen to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on kindness, not on being \\\"right.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"The phrase \\\"politically correct\\\" is misleading, because the spirit of what you're doing is being respectful and kind, not imposing rules. Recognize that words can hurt, and can tie into countless other hurts that people may have experienced. Focus less on yourself and your own word use, and more on the impact your words have on others. \\nThe goal isn't to censor people, it's to encourage people to be kind.\\nThe goal isn't to be right, but to not be a jerk, especially to people who have faced more than their fair share of hardship and jerks.\\nInstead of asking \\\"am I politically correct?\\\" ask \\\"am I being caring and respectful towards others?\\\"\\nRecognize that free speech goes both ways. Your professor has the right to go on a racist tirade online... and you have the right to screenshot that tirade, post it on social media, and say \\\"she should be fired.\\\" Just like people have the right to be horrible jerks, you have the right to respond to that.\\nIt's not that people are \\\"too sensitive.\\\" It's more about being nice. After all, there's a difference between \\\"don't step on his foot because he's a sensitive, whiny crybaby\\\" and \\\"watch your step because it hurts him when you step on his foot, and his foot is broken because people keep treading on it, so he could really use a break.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Assess your own prejudices.\", \"描述\": \"Consider any conscious or unconscious prejudices you may hold. This can also include stereotypes you believe about groups of people. If you are aware of any negative feelings or stereotypes you hold towards individuals or groups, it will help you adjust your language and behavior towards your goal of being a respectful person. \\nThere are a few ways to assess your own prejudices. What do you think when you hear an ethnic last name? What is your first instinct if you learn someone is gay or transgender? If someone talks or moves slowly, what do you think of them? Being honest about your initial reactions can help you identify your prejudices.\\nIn order to challenge these internalized stereotypes, it may be helpful to ask yourself why you feel this way and where your prejudices might come from.\\nBesides acknowledging your prejudices, one excellent tool to identify any negative feelings you might need to work on is the Implicit Association Test (IAT). You can find this psychological test online to determine your prejudices.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn about different kinds of prejudice.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding the prejudice in your society and around the world can help open your eyes. Learning about the struggles of others different than you can help you reevaluate your own preconceived notions. Education is an excellent way to overcome prejudices, understand those different than us, and become politically correct. \\nIndividuals and groups are discriminated against for many different reasons including race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, culture, and socio-economic status. If you're unsure of these groups, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has information on groups who experience discrimination.\\nTaking a course at a university or doing some research online can help you learn more about prejudice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Interact with those different than you.\", \"描述\": \"Stepping outside of your comfort zone is an important step for gaining awareness. Being politically correct doesn't just mean being mindful of what you say. It also means learning about those different from you and respecting those differences. Reach out, interact, talk, and befriend those who have a different background than you.\\nFind coworkers or classmates who are different from you. Ask those people from a different ethnicity, religion, sexuality, or country to go to lunch. If you're not that close, just start a conversation with them. You can talk about your differences, but you may be surprised how much you have in common.\\nFind culturally diverse events and experiences. Developing your thoughts and understanding that all people are equal through interactive learning will foster a respectful attitude.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to ask.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if you are a member of a privileged group, you may not understand the lived experiences of oppressed groups. This can be counteracted by asking questions and listening closely to the answers. \\nCheck a search engine to see if any writers have answered your question online.\\nKeep your questions respectful and not too personal. \\\"What pronouns should I use when referring to you?\\\" and \\\"Do you know of any good online resources where I can learn more about transgender issues?\\\" are both reasonable questions. \\\"What do your genitals look like?\\\" is a very private question that should only be asked if you want to have sex with them, or you are a doctor and you need to know for medical reasons.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respecting Different Communities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Notice and reflect on disrespectful language, thoughts, and actions.\", \"描述\": \"If you educate yourself and keep an eye on your thoughts, this will help control and change your language and behaviors. People may interpret and draw inferences from the language you use. When you are interacting with people, you want to be an open, respectful, and informed individual instead of a careless, disrespectful person. \\nAvoid racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. jokes because they are always hurtful.\\nIf you catch yourself thinking something negative, don't scold yourself. Instead ask \\\"Why did I think that?\\\" \\\"Do I really agree with that?\\\" \\\"What would better reflect the attitude I want to have?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect people of different races\", \"描述\": \"Recognize racist roots of words, whether they are as inflammatory as the n-word or as subtle as referring to immigrants as illegals.\\nMany common expressions have roots in discrimination caused by cultural arrogance and a lack of exposure to cultural diversity. Terms such as \\\"Chinese auction,\\\" \\\"Indian giver,\\\" \\\"Jew down\\\" (negotiate), and \\\"gyp\\\" (a bad deal, from the derogatory term \\\"Gypsy\\\" for the Roma) are racist.\\nMany common words also have implicit discrimination in them and are thus considered harmful. For example, words such as \\\"gypsy\\\" and \\\"oriental\\\" are derogatory. Instead use \\\"Roma\\\" for \\\"gypsy\\\" or \\\"Asian\\\" for \\\"oriental.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recognize what counts as cultural appropriation.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Cultural appropriation\\\" happens when a member of the dominant group copies parts of a non-dominant group without acknowledging the meaning of the source. Think of it like a cheap knockoff. It exploits the aesthetic while ignoring the meaning and history. And it usually reinforces stereotypes. Here are some examples of what is and isn't appropriation:\\nWearing a pretty necklace that you bought from a Native American craft shop isn't cultural appropriation. That's supporting an artist. Dressing up like a \\\"Native American\\\" with headdresses and feathers for Halloween is cultural appropriation.\\nBuying a black singer's album and singing the songs you like isn't appropriation. That's enjoying their music. Making a fashion statement by copying black people's hairstyles, which they often face discrimination for, is appropriation.\\nMaking curry for dinner because you like it is not appropriation. It's enjoying good food. Wearing a bindi because you think it's cute or trendy, ignoring its cultural context, is appropriation.\\nCelebrating Lunar New Year with your Chinese friend is not appropriation. It's joining a celebration where you were invited. Dressing up as a geisha or getting a random Chinese character tattooed on your body because it's \\\"pretty\\\" or \\\"deep\\\" is appropriation.\\nBuying a weighted blanket and fidget toys is not appropriating autistic culture. In fact, it helps normalize these things and make them more affordable, which is good. Copying the imagery of the autism rights movement while working against its goals is appropriation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use language that includes LGBTQIA+ people.\", \"描述\": \"Some people are bisexual, transgender, asexual, genderfluid, etc. and they deserve respect and inclusion. Work on substituting gender-neutral language to include people of different sexual orientations and gender identities. \\nDon't assume that people are straight (or even monogamous). Ask \\\"Do you have any partners?\\\" or \\\"Are you engaged/dating anyone\\\"? rather than \\\"Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?\\\"\\nDon't generalize about genitals. Some women have penises/testicles and some men have clitorises/vaginas. Furthermore, intersex people exist.\\nRespect gender identities. There are more than two genders, and agender, genderfluid, etc. people exist. A person's real name is the name that they accept as the one that matches their gender.\\nIf you're unsure how to be respectful towards someone's identity, just ask them. They'll appreciate your good intentions.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid exclusionary, gender-specific language.\", \"描述\": \"Gender-specific language can be extremely harmful. Sexism, or discrimination against a person due to their marginalized gender identity, is used often (and frequently inadvertently). Try to avoid giving things genders in your mind, or out loud things, such as jobs; additionally, refrain from claiming actions, occupations, or items are \\\"male\\\" or \\\"female.\\\" \\nUse gender-neutral job titles when you aren't referring to a specific person. For example, say \\\"chairperson\\\" or \\\"chair\\\" instead of \\\"chairman\\\"; \\\"firefighter\\\" is preferable to \\\"fireman\\\"; a \\\"police officer\\\" includes all genders; and \\\"flight attendant\\\" replaces \\\"steward\\\" and \\\"stewardess.\\\" The use of gender-specific titles is usually acceptable when addressing an individual. For example, if you are introducing a male chairperson, then you may say, \\\"Please welcome Mr. Smith, our Chairman of the Board.\\\"\\nUsing terms and titles such as \\\"woman's work\\\" or \\\"secretary\\\" (instead of \\\"administrative assistant\\\") is demeaning and belittling.\\nCalling women \\\"girls\\\" (instead of \\\"ladies\\\" or \\\"women\\\") is infantilizing and discounts that the place of women in the world is equal to men.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Support victims of abuse, sexual harassment, and rape.\", \"描述\": \"Violence is a serious issue that many people reference or joke about in casual conversation, alienating victims and making it difficult for them to speak up. You can help by respecting them and taking them seriously. \\nRecognize that not all victims are female. Use gender-inclusive language when discussing these social issues.\\nMaking comments like \\\"they asked for it\\\" when someone is attacked is cruel. Everyone, regardless of clothing or unwise choices, deserves basic safety.\\nAvoid rape jokes, as these can be hurtful to survivors. They can also suggest to would-be rapists that you might take their side if they hurt someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Avoid making religious assumptions or pushing religion in mixed religious company.\", \"描述\": \"The world has innumerable different religions and not everyone shares the same beliefs. When speaking to a group of people, you may be talking to people from many different religions, or speaking to people who are agnostic or atheist. Limit the amount of religious terms in your language, especially when speaking in groups of people. Save the religious discussions for when you're with people of your religion or when someone says they're open to discussing it. \\nAvoid religious statements when talking to non-religious people, or people of an unknown religion. For example, instead of telling a sick atheist you'll pray for them, say that your thoughts are with them and their family.\\nIt's also a good idea to avoid referencing \\\"God/god.\\\" Every religious group has different names for and rules for saying the term. Jews do not say the name of god, Muslims refer to their god as Allah, and Hindus worship many different gods.\\nAsking questions like \\\"what would Jesus do?\\\" to an individual whose religion you don't know or group that isn't entirely Christian is ill-advised.\\nThere is an exception to using religious terms: to describe either academic or specific characteristics of a religious group. You may say \\\"Evangelical Christians hold certain beliefs...\\\", or \\\"members of the Jewish faith celebrate Yom Kippur...\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid expressions that devalue people with physical or mental disabilities.\", \"描述\": \"Some people prefer identity-first language (\\\"disabled person\\\") while others prefer person-first language (\\\"person with a disability\\\"), and it's best to respect their individual preference. Make sure not to use derogatory terms such as \\\"ret*rd\\\" and \\\"midget,\\\" and avoid using words rooted in disability as insults. \\nWords such as \\\"dumb,\\\" \\\"crippled,\\\" \\\"derp,\\\" and \\\"psycho\\\" are examples of disability-based insults/slurs. They imply that disability is demeaning.\\nTreat disabled people like ordinary people, accommodating any needs without resistance, and treating the disability as natural. Offer help if they're struggling, and don't push it on them if they say they can handle it.\\nUse person-first language for most disabilities, such as \\\"person with Down Syndrome\\\" rather than \\\"Down Syndrome person.\\\" The Autistic, Blind, and Deaf communities are a few notable exceptions (e.g. \\\"autistic person\\\"). When unsure, ask an individual about their preferences.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be accepting towards people of different sizes.\", \"描述\": \"Heavier people, especially women, experience discrimination and hardship because of social attitudes about weight. Be conscious of hurtful stereotypes regarding fat people being lazy, unhealthy, greedy, et cetera. Similarly, don't make rude remarks to skinny people or treat a thin man like he is less manly. \\nOther people's bodies aren't your business. Don't comment on their weight or offer unsolicited advice about how to change their bodies. If they don't ask about it, don't bring it up.\\nDon't assume a slimmer person has an eating disorder. Even if they appear unhealthy, telling them to \\\"eat a cheeseburger\\\" won't help.\\nWatch your language closely. Some people, particularly fat acceptance advocates, self-identify as \\\"fat\\\" and encourage the destigmatization of the word. Other people could be very hurt by that adjective.\\nAlso, don't shame or belittle people based on the size or traits of their private parts.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Keep practicing and learning.\", \"描述\": \"Become familiar the terms that various communities view as acceptable, and which ones are hurtful. Then start using them in your own speech. The more you practice consideration and respect, the easier it will be and the less likely you are to upset someone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Speaking with Individuals or Groups\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apply your knowledge.\", \"描述\": \"In conversations or discussions with groups or individuals, remember what you've learned while working on yourself. Your goal is not to knowingly hurt any person or group of people with your language or actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Are you in the workplace? A conference? A friend's party? Or maybe a family dinner? Each of these situations has different social rules for polite behavior. If you are aware of your surroundings, it will guide you to what words and actions are appropriate in any situation. \\nFormal situations such as the workplace or professional events have the highest standards and largest consequences. Informal and private situations are more relaxed, but sensitivity still matters. You may be talking to someone of an oppressed group, and even if not, private attitudes shape how people respond to minorities.\\nConsider the individual or persons in the group. Even if they are not minorities, their friends, family, and acquaintances may be. Do you want to encourage empathy, or dismissiveness? Compassion, or disrespect?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Refrain from language that groups people into one large category.\", \"描述\": \"Don't lump people together based on religion, sexual orientation, gender, and ethnicity. Not everyone in a group is the same, acts the same, or believes the same things. This kind of language reduces a person to that one category, when people are so much more. \\nFor example, don't refer to groups by saying things like: the deaf, the gays, the Jews, or the Blacks. If you are referring to a social group, acknowledge differences. \\\"Many blind people feel that...\\\"\\nUse language that makes a person or group feel like they are equal and included in any situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid segregating language.\", \"描述\": \"When speaking to or about other groups, avoid unnecessary us-vs-them language. This suggests a separation instead of equality and inclusion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respect what people call themselves.\", \"描述\": \"Every individual and group has the right to choose the language that best describes their race, class, sex, gender, sexual orientation, culture, religion, or physical ability. \\nIf you're not sure of someone's preference, you can ask them. For example, \\\"I don't want to offend you and was wondering if you call yourself Black or African American?\\\" If they are neither, show interest and ask how they'd like to be referred to. If you make your good intentions clear, they will most likely take it well.\\nDon't use controversial terms if you aren't a group member. For example, many Roma self-identify as gypsies. Unless you are a member of the Roma community, avoid using \\\"gypsy\\\" and always use Roma. It isn't your word to reclaim.\\nSkip the trendy terms. Most of these terms are used by members not part of the group. For example, don't call a person with disabilities \\\"handi-capable\\\" or \\\"differently abled\\\" or a short person \\\"vertically challenged.\\\" Many people find these terms to be weird. This also means taking the words of those directly affected over those of \\\"allies\\\" in psychology or sociology who may stress the use of certain terms.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respond gracefully if you're told that your words hurt someone.\", \"描述\": \"It's not personal, so don't get defensive. Accept any individual or group's choice to reject language that offends them. If you accidentally use the wrong language or offend someone or a group, apologize for your mistake and use the term they have chosen for themselves. \\nIf you get too upset, it's okay to step back and say that you need to take a few minutes to think. Take a break. Pause before reacting.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Educate instead of criticize when correcting someone.\", \"描述\": \"If you run into someone who is acting hurtful or being degrading about someone, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. You want to avoid fighting with someone, being superior, or criticizing them. Instead, talk to the person about the term. Open the lines of communication and engage in dialogue instead of humiliating them or telling them they are horrible. \\nWhen in doubt, assume that they meant well.\\nBear in mind the possibility that the person in question may not match your expectations. Some people choose to \\\"pass\\\" as the status quo in order to avoid harassment, and others may not fit neatly into a stereotype or your assumptions of what an oppressed or privileged person would look like or how they would act.\\nCriticize the actions, not the person. \\\"Please stop making fun of Hispanic immigrants. As a person who has Hispanic friends, I feel that those jokes really hurtful and demeaning to them.\\\"\\nProtect their ego while critiquing their actions. \\\"I'm surprised to hear a considerate person like you say something so hurtful about people with Down syndrome.\\\"\\nTry leading and ending with a compliment when you correct someone. Start with a compliment, like how you think the person made a good point or wrote a good article. Then, follow that with your correction or critique. Remember, do it in a nice way, not a rude way. Then finish it up with a compliment, like how you pointed it out because they seem like a thoughtful person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respect different opinions.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to talk about touchy subjects, such as religion or politics, make sure that you are open to other opinions. People form their opinions based on backgrounds and experiences. If you are going to share your opinion, be open to listening to others. You may learn information or a perspective that helps inform your own opinion. Everyone has something to teach you. \\nShare the spotlight. Let other people be heard too.\\nPay close attention to opinions different from yours. This is your opportunity to learn something new.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Focus on the people, first and foremost.\", \"描述\": \"Respectful language isn't about you and your reputation—it's about kindness towards others. Keep being respectful, accepting, and inclusive in your words and thoughts. It's hard to go wrong if you keep valuing other people. \\nRemember that your words can have an impact.\\nWhen in doubt, choose the kinder or more polite option.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Focus on valuing diverse people.\", \"描述\": \"Your first reaction to someone who is different may be confusion or fear—so take a deep breath, remember that the other person matters, and let your second reaction be one of acceptance and respect. Work on viewing individual differences as important and meaningful.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember to be empathetic. Your don't want to harm or offend anyone.\\n\", \"If you accidentally offend someone, apologize for your mistake and learn from the situation. This will help you interact with this person or group, and other persons and groups, in the future.\\n\", \"If you're unsure in a situation, one rule of thumb is that some things are better left unsaid.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,044 | How to Be Popular | 1. Getting Noticed
1-1. Be confident.
Nobody's perfect. Therefore, you don't have to be perfect to be popular. Even if you feel that you're far from ideal, the first step to gaining confidence is to believe in yourself.
Knowing yourself is another important aspect of confidence. You need to know about all the different parts of yourself—not just the parts that you want people to see.
Affirmations are a great way to boost your confidence. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself whatever you need to get pumped up, whether that's "I'm going to nail this" or "You're going to be fine at the end of all this."
Don't hide in the corner. Get up and bask in the spotlight, if the moment is right. If you spend all of your time worrying about how you look or what other people think of you, you won't get very far. Instead, work on loving who you are and what you do. If you love yourself, everyone will want to join in.
In class, also get noticed, raise your hand, and finish your work on time. People will get to know you better, Never be afraid to speak!
Fake it until you make it. Even if you don't feel confident, just acting confident is the first step to making you feel good.
Confidence has a lot to do with body language. Walk with your head high and your arms at your sides instead of crossed over your chest. Don't hunch.
Develop your confidence by excelling at the things you love or developing new interests. If you find something you really care about, you'll be more likely to feel good about yourself.
1-2. Put yourself out there.
This usually means to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. If you're not popular, it's because you're not comfortable doing the things that popular people tend to do, such as:
Making conversation, cracking jokes, flirting, and in general, engaging people. Remember that popular kids are popular only because they are known by (and get the attention from) others.
Remember, if it isn't yet working out, don't wait for someone to come talk to you, you might as well talk to others you never did before.
You may be introspective, shy, or quiet, but in order to get what you want, you need to change how you interact with people.
At first, that might feel like you're being shallow or fake, but remember that being yourself is, at its core, all about knowing what you truly want out of life.
1-3. Find your own style.
To get noticed, you don't have to dye your hair pink or get a tattoo on your face. What you should do, however, is find your own look and style and let people see that you're comfortable being yourself.
If you're hiding behind a pair of gray sweatpants, you won't get noticed—at least, not in a good way. So, find a look makes you comfortable, whether you look preppy, hipster chic, or grungy, and own it.
You don't have to buy the trendiest clothes that everyone else is wearing unless you think you can really look good and comfortable in them. If you're buying the same Converse that everyone in school is wearing but they just look wrong on your feet, everyone will notice.
Whatever you wear, have confidence in it. Don't check yourself out in the mirror or ask everyone in your path if you look okay, or people will know that you doubt yourself.
It's great to pay attention to your looks, but looking like you're trying too hard to be popular is worse than looking like you don't care. So, if you're not really into makeup, don't slather your face with it. If you don't like popping your collar, don't do it just because that's what everyone else is doing.
If you want to get trendy clothes but don't have the budget, check out stores that have cool clothes at an affordable price (especially during their sales). Check out Aeropostale, American Eagle, or even Forever 21 to get some great deals.
1-4. Take risks.
To be popular, you're going to need to take a few chances on a social level that may normally feel uncomfortable to you. So be prepared to be bold.
Take risks by introducing yourself to someone you haven't met, going to a party you were invited to (even if you don't know many other guests), or by making statements that make you stand out in a crowd.
If you get used to taking risks (without putting yourself in danger, of course) you will definitely get noticed more.
1-5. Don't act like you don't care.
Yeah, if you go around acting like you're too cool for school, people may notice you, but it won't be in a good way. Though you may not want to be the teacher's pet and answer every question right, participating in class and making an effort will get you more positive attention than shrugging or being rude if the teacher asks you a question.
Part of looking like you're ready and excited for whatever life throws at you is to smile more. You don't have to smile like a maniac; however, you should smile when people greet you, or even be the one to smile first. This will make people want to get to know you.
If you're in high school, then you may be at the point in your life where most people around you think it's cool to look bored or totally uninterested. However, you'll get noticed even more if you go against the grain here.
2. Being Social
2-1. Be interested, not interesting.
Don't try to act interesting to get other people's attention; act interested in them. Ask them how work or school is going, how their family is doing, how that situation they mentioned a while back turned out, and so on. Then relate. Talk to them about how you or someone you know had something similar happen to them, and how they dealt with it.
Stop thinking about yourself and how you can impress others. Of all the people skills that popular people have, the one that none of them can do without is empathy. How well do you relate to other people?
Stop worrying so much about how you look, how you sound, how you compare, and start thinking about how other people are doing.
2-2. Be friendly.
Popular people are on friendly terms with pretty much everyone—not only their peers, but also the teachers, the supervisors, the grocery store clerk, the janitor, the parents, the kids, and generally anyone who's even the tiniest bit nice. They're on good enough terms that they can hold a short, friendly conversation with anyone in the room. There's no reason you can't do that, too. Being friendly doesn't take a big effort, but it makes a real impact.
Keep it casual. Small talk is all about sticking to "safe" topics. Stay away from anything controversial, like religion or politics. By expressing your views on a controversial topic, you're bound to be unpopular with people who disagree. Keep the topics "light".
2-3. Don't butt in.
There's a difference between being friendly and going where you're not wanted. Respect people's privacy; don't pry. Learn to read body language so you can see when your questions are starting to make them feel uncomfortable. If a person is backing away or leaning away from you, checking his phone every five minutes, or talking quietly to another friend before you approach, it may not be the best time to talk.
Don't invite yourself anywhere, don't stalk, don't brag, and don't interrupt. In other words, don't be annoying.
2-4. Give a helping hand.
Popular people don't just know everyone—they're on good terms with everyone. They establish those terms by helping people out, and they don't do it in particularly noticeable ways. They do little things to establish rapport (in addition to some big things, like volunteering). They offer someone a pencil when they need it. They close the neighbor's gate when it opens after a strong wind. They hold the door open and wait for the person behind them. But most often, they listen to people when they talk, and they offer to help somehow.
If you truly empathize with people, you'll want things to work out for them. If there's nothing you can do to help then, at the very least, let them know that you're hoping the best for them.
2-5. Be yourself—for real
This may sound trite, but people who are truly popular don't worry about what they should do to "fit in", because they really do just because they're comfortable with who they are. You might think that in order to be popular, you need to be attractive and talented, but while it's true that those qualities are more likely to make you a hit with people, there are extremely popular people who are otherwise quite average, and there are extremely good-looking and talented people who are anything but popular.
Remember, the only thing you need in order to be popular is a good set of people skills. The remainder is all yours to mold as you see fit, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Part of being yourself is knowing yourself well enough to laugh at yourself. Show people that you recognize your quirks and don't take yourself too seriously, and they'll be impressed.
2-6. Don't try too hard.
Surprisingly, many "popular" people don't put too much conscious effort into it. They simply are themselves. If you're desperate to be popular, it will show in your actions, and people will think you're a poser, or worse, a freak. One way to make friends is if you find a group of friends that shares your interests, whom you can easily be yourself around. Then, as you become more and more accustomed to hanging out with people, you can branch out and start talking to different people.
3. Getting Involved
3-1. Join a team.
You don't have to be Lebron James to join your school basketball team. Joining a team is not only a great way to exercise and feel good about yourself, but it's an awesome way to broaden your horizons and make friends. If you're even a little athletically inclined, it's worth it to try out for one of your school's sports teams or to join a casual sports league in your neighborhood.
Joining a team will expose you to more people and will help you learn how to get along with a variety of people that you might not otherwise encounter in your classes or daily life.
Joining a team will also improve your social life. You'll be more likely to make plans for what to do after the game, or to go to pre-game dinners and other activities with your team.
Joining a team is also a great way to put yourself out there and to let more people know who you are.
3-2. Join a club.
Joining a club is another way to broaden your horizons and to meet more people. You may not meet the same kind of people at the school newspaper that you'd meet on your soccer team, so it's a great idea to join a club and a team if you have the interest and the time in your busy schedule. Find something you're interested in or even just curious about, and try to put yourself in a leadership role in the club once you've gained enough experience, so you're more comfortable being a leader and know more people.
Don't worry about a club being "too nerdy" for you. Doing something that you love and meeting more people will make you more popular.
3-3. Get involved in the classroom.
You don't have to suck up to the teacher or have your hand raised in the air the whole time to stand out in the classroom. Just be friendly to people when they sit down next to you, answer your teacher's questions without being overbearing, and generally show that you care without being so absorbed that you don't notice the social dynamics around you.
If you're more active in class, more people will know your name and recognize you if you come up in the conversation.
3-4. Maintain a variety of interests.
Don't just be a jock or get obsessed with the school yearbook. Instead, maintain a variety of interests by having a few irons in the fire at once. Though you shouldn't spread yourself so thin that you don't have time for yourself, being more involved in more activities will help you get recognized, put your name out there, and get to know more people from different walks of life.
3-5. Get involved in your community.
Getting involved in your community will not only help you improve the life of people who are in need, but it'll help you learn how to interact with a larger number of people from different backgrounds, ages, and financial situations. The more people you know how to get along with, the more adept you'll be at meeting new people and making them feel welcome when the time comes.
Tips
Be friendly to those you know. Smile, say hello, and if they greet you back, ask them how they're doing. No matter where you go, make it a habit to chat with strangers and acquaintances alike, even if it's just for a few minutes.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like "Well, she's always been nice to me, so I don't know" or "Maybe he has personal issues that we don't know about. Who knows?"
Look approachable. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Give people a chance to warm up to you.
Warnings
Realize that popularity has its ups and downs, and may fade very quickly when you start at a new school or job. Every situation is different and sometimes you need to start over.
Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can control is how you treat others.
Don't be upset if you're not the most popular person in school. Sometimes it's better to have good friends that care about you and are fun to hang out with, than being a cool kid. Because after all you need some good buddies.
Guard your privacy. When everyone knows you, it means that there's a greater likelihood of nosiness and gossip. Think of how famous celebrities have someone prying into their personal lives at all times. You'll also need to be prepared for people starting conversations with you while you're running errands or sitting down reading a book at the park. It comes with the package. Handle it gracefully.
Don't be disappointed if you fail. Popularity can be easy for some and practically impossible for others. There are many factors which can prevent a person from being outgoing and well-liked, but that does not mean the person is worth any less.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Noticed\\n1-1. Be confident.\\nNobody's perfect. Therefore, you don't have to be perfect to be popular. Even if you feel that you're far from ideal, the first step to gaining confidence is to believe in yourself.\\nKnowing yourself is another important aspect of confidence. You need to know about all the different parts of yourself—not just the parts that you want people to see.\\nAffirmations are a great way to boost your confidence. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself whatever you need to get pumped up, whether that's \\\"I'm going to nail this\\\" or \\\"You're going to be fine at the end of all this.\\\"\\nDon't hide in the corner. Get up and bask in the spotlight, if the moment is right. If you spend all of your time worrying about how you look or what other people think of you, you won't get very far. Instead, work on loving who you are and what you do. If you love yourself, everyone will want to join in.\\nIn class, also get noticed, raise your hand, and finish your work on time. People will get to know you better, Never be afraid to speak!\\nFake it until you make it. Even if you don't feel confident, just acting confident is the first step to making you feel good.\\nConfidence has a lot to do with body language. Walk with your head high and your arms at your sides instead of crossed over your chest. Don't hunch.\\nDevelop your confidence by excelling at the things you love or developing new interests. If you find something you really care about, you'll be more likely to feel good about yourself.\\n1-2. Put yourself out there.\\nThis usually means to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. If you're not popular, it's because you're not comfortable doing the things that popular people tend to do, such as:\\n\\nMaking conversation, cracking jokes, flirting, and in general, engaging people. Remember that popular kids are popular only because they are known by (and get the attention from) others.\\nRemember, if it isn't yet working out, don't wait for someone to come talk to you, you might as well talk to others you never did before.\\nYou may be introspective, shy, or quiet, but in order to get what you want, you need to change how you interact with people.\\nAt first, that might feel like you're being shallow or fake, but remember that being yourself is, at its core, all about knowing what you truly want out of life.\\n1-3. Find your own style.\\nTo get noticed, you don't have to dye your hair pink or get a tattoo on your face. What you should do, however, is find your own look and style and let people see that you're comfortable being yourself.\\nIf you're hiding behind a pair of gray sweatpants, you won't get noticed—at least, not in a good way. So, find a look makes you comfortable, whether you look preppy, hipster chic, or grungy, and own it.\\nYou don't have to buy the trendiest clothes that everyone else is wearing unless you think you can really look good and comfortable in them. If you're buying the same Converse that everyone in school is wearing but they just look wrong on your feet, everyone will notice.\\nWhatever you wear, have confidence in it. Don't check yourself out in the mirror or ask everyone in your path if you look okay, or people will know that you doubt yourself.\\nIt's great to pay attention to your looks, but looking like you're trying too hard to be popular is worse than looking like you don't care. So, if you're not really into makeup, don't slather your face with it. If you don't like popping your collar, don't do it just because that's what everyone else is doing.\\nIf you want to get trendy clothes but don't have the budget, check out stores that have cool clothes at an affordable price (especially during their sales). Check out Aeropostale, American Eagle, or even Forever 21 to get some great deals.\\n1-4. Take risks.\\nTo be popular, you're going to need to take a few chances on a social level that may normally feel uncomfortable to you. So be prepared to be bold.\\nTake risks by introducing yourself to someone you haven't met, going to a party you were invited to (even if you don't know many other guests), or by making statements that make you stand out in a crowd.\\nIf you get used to taking risks (without putting yourself in danger, of course) you will definitely get noticed more.\\n1-5. Don't act like you don't care.\\nYeah, if you go around acting like you're too cool for school, people may notice you, but it won't be in a good way. Though you may not want to be the teacher's pet and answer every question right, participating in class and making an effort will get you more positive attention than shrugging or being rude if the teacher asks you a question.\\nPart of looking like you're ready and excited for whatever life throws at you is to smile more. You don't have to smile like a maniac; however, you should smile when people greet you, or even be the one to smile first. This will make people want to get to know you.\\nIf you're in high school, then you may be at the point in your life where most people around you think it's cool to look bored or totally uninterested. However, you'll get noticed even more if you go against the grain here.\\n2. Being Social\\n2-1. Be interested, not interesting.\\nDon't try to act interesting to get other people's attention; act interested in them. Ask them how work or school is going, how their family is doing, how that situation they mentioned a while back turned out, and so on. Then relate. Talk to them about how you or someone you know had something similar happen to them, and how they dealt with it.\\nStop thinking about yourself and how you can impress others. Of all the people skills that popular people have, the one that none of them can do without is empathy. How well do you relate to other people?\\nStop worrying so much about how you look, how you sound, how you compare, and start thinking about how other people are doing.\\n2-2. Be friendly.\\nPopular people are on friendly terms with pretty much everyone—not only their peers, but also the teachers, the supervisors, the grocery store clerk, the janitor, the parents, the kids, and generally anyone who's even the tiniest bit nice. They're on good enough terms that they can hold a short, friendly conversation with anyone in the room. There's no reason you can't do that, too. Being friendly doesn't take a big effort, but it makes a real impact.\\nKeep it casual. Small talk is all about sticking to \\\"safe\\\" topics. Stay away from anything controversial, like religion or politics. By expressing your views on a controversial topic, you're bound to be unpopular with people who disagree. Keep the topics \\\"light\\\".\\n2-3. Don't butt in.\\nThere's a difference between being friendly and going where you're not wanted. Respect people's privacy; don't pry. Learn to read body language so you can see when your questions are starting to make them feel uncomfortable. If a person is backing away or leaning away from you, checking his phone every five minutes, or talking quietly to another friend before you approach, it may not be the best time to talk.\\nDon't invite yourself anywhere, don't stalk, don't brag, and don't interrupt. In other words, don't be annoying.\\n2-4. Give a helping hand.\\nPopular people don't just know everyone—they're on good terms with everyone. They establish those terms by helping people out, and they don't do it in particularly noticeable ways. They do little things to establish rapport (in addition to some big things, like volunteering). They offer someone a pencil when they need it. They close the neighbor's gate when it opens after a strong wind. They hold the door open and wait for the person behind them. But most often, they listen to people when they talk, and they offer to help somehow.\\nIf you truly empathize with people, you'll want things to work out for them. If there's nothing you can do to help then, at the very least, let them know that you're hoping the best for them.\\n2-5. Be yourself—for real\\nThis may sound trite, but people who are truly popular don't worry about what they should do to \\\"fit in\\\", because they really do just because they're comfortable with who they are. You might think that in order to be popular, you need to be attractive and talented, but while it's true that those qualities are more likely to make you a hit with people, there are extremely popular people who are otherwise quite average, and there are extremely good-looking and talented people who are anything but popular.\\nRemember, the only thing you need in order to be popular is a good set of people skills. The remainder is all yours to mold as you see fit, regardless of what anyone else thinks.\\nPart of being yourself is knowing yourself well enough to laugh at yourself. Show people that you recognize your quirks and don't take yourself too seriously, and they'll be impressed.\\n2-6. Don't try too hard.\\nSurprisingly, many \\\"popular\\\" people don't put too much conscious effort into it. They simply are themselves. If you're desperate to be popular, it will show in your actions, and people will think you're a poser, or worse, a freak. One way to make friends is if you find a group of friends that shares your interests, whom you can easily be yourself around. Then, as you become more and more accustomed to hanging out with people, you can branch out and start talking to different people.\\n3. Getting Involved\\n3-1. Join a team.\\nYou don't have to be Lebron James to join your school basketball team. Joining a team is not only a great way to exercise and feel good about yourself, but it's an awesome way to broaden your horizons and make friends. If you're even a little athletically inclined, it's worth it to try out for one of your school's sports teams or to join a casual sports league in your neighborhood.\\nJoining a team will expose you to more people and will help you learn how to get along with a variety of people that you might not otherwise encounter in your classes or daily life.\\nJoining a team will also improve your social life. You'll be more likely to make plans for what to do after the game, or to go to pre-game dinners and other activities with your team.\\nJoining a team is also a great way to put yourself out there and to let more people know who you are.\\n3-2. Join a club.\\nJoining a club is another way to broaden your horizons and to meet more people. You may not meet the same kind of people at the school newspaper that you'd meet on your soccer team, so it's a great idea to join a club and a team if you have the interest and the time in your busy schedule. Find something you're interested in or even just curious about, and try to put yourself in a leadership role in the club once you've gained enough experience, so you're more comfortable being a leader and know more people.\\nDon't worry about a club being \\\"too nerdy\\\" for you. Doing something that you love and meeting more people will make you more popular.\\n3-3. Get involved in the classroom.\\nYou don't have to suck up to the teacher or have your hand raised in the air the whole time to stand out in the classroom. Just be friendly to people when they sit down next to you, answer your teacher's questions without being overbearing, and generally show that you care without being so absorbed that you don't notice the social dynamics around you.\\nIf you're more active in class, more people will know your name and recognize you if you come up in the conversation.\\n3-4. Maintain a variety of interests.\\nDon't just be a jock or get obsessed with the school yearbook. Instead, maintain a variety of interests by having a few irons in the fire at once. Though you shouldn't spread yourself so thin that you don't have time for yourself, being more involved in more activities will help you get recognized, put your name out there, and get to know more people from different walks of life.\\n3-5. Get involved in your community.\\nGetting involved in your community will not only help you improve the life of people who are in need, but it'll help you learn how to interact with a larger number of people from different backgrounds, ages, and financial situations. The more people you know how to get along with, the more adept you'll be at meeting new people and making them feel welcome when the time comes.\\nTips\\nBe friendly to those you know. Smile, say hello, and if they greet you back, ask them how they're doing. No matter where you go, make it a habit to chat with strangers and acquaintances alike, even if it's just for a few minutes.\\nIf you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like \\\"Well, she's always been nice to me, so I don't know\\\" or \\\"Maybe he has personal issues that we don't know about. Who knows?\\\"\\nLook approachable. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Give people a chance to warm up to you.\\nWarnings\\nRealize that popularity has its ups and downs, and may fade very quickly when you start at a new school or job. Every situation is different and sometimes you need to start over.\\nDon’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can control is how you treat others.\\nDon't be upset if you're not the most popular person in school. Sometimes it's better to have good friends that care about you and are fun to hang out with, than being a cool kid. Because after all you need some good buddies.\\nGuard your privacy. When everyone knows you, it means that there's a greater likelihood of nosiness and gossip. Think of how famous celebrities have someone prying into their personal lives at all times. You'll also need to be prepared for people starting conversations with you while you're running errands or sitting down reading a book at the park. It comes with the package. Handle it gracefully.\\nDon't be disappointed if you fail. Popularity can be easy for some and practically impossible for others. There are many factors which can prevent a person from being outgoing and well-liked, but that does not mean the person is worth any less.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"What do all popular people have in common? Do they all wear the same clothes? Have the same hair? Say the same things? Of course not. There are popular people all over the world, enjoying their social status at school, work, and wherever they go. There's no magical quality that can make you popular, but if you work on getting noticed, being social, and getting involved, you will improve your chances of turning heads and getting smiles everywhere you go.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Noticed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody's perfect. Therefore, you don't have to be perfect to be popular. Even if you feel that you're far from ideal, the first step to gaining confidence is to believe in yourself.\\nKnowing yourself is another important aspect of confidence. You need to know about all the different parts of yourself—not just the parts that you want people to see.\\nAffirmations are a great way to boost your confidence. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself whatever you need to get pumped up, whether that's \\\"I'm going to nail this\\\" or \\\"You're going to be fine at the end of all this.\\\"\\nDon't hide in the corner. Get up and bask in the spotlight, if the moment is right. If you spend all of your time worrying about how you look or what other people think of you, you won't get very far. Instead, work on loving who you are and what you do. If you love yourself, everyone will want to join in.\\nIn class, also get noticed, raise your hand, and finish your work on time. People will get to know you better, Never be afraid to speak!\\nFake it until you make it. Even if you don't feel confident, just acting confident is the first step to making you feel good.\\nConfidence has a lot to do with body language. Walk with your head high and your arms at your sides instead of crossed over your chest. Don't hunch.\\nDevelop your confidence by excelling at the things you love or developing new interests. If you find something you really care about, you'll be more likely to feel good about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put yourself out there.\", \"描述\": \"This usually means to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. If you're not popular, it's because you're not comfortable doing the things that popular people tend to do, such as:\\n\\nMaking conversation, cracking jokes, flirting, and in general, engaging people. Remember that popular kids are popular only because they are known by (and get the attention from) others.\\nRemember, if it isn't yet working out, don't wait for someone to come talk to you, you might as well talk to others you never did before.\\nYou may be introspective, shy, or quiet, but in order to get what you want, you need to change how you interact with people.\\nAt first, that might feel like you're being shallow or fake, but remember that being yourself is, at its core, all about knowing what you truly want out of life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find your own style.\", \"描述\": \"To get noticed, you don't have to dye your hair pink or get a tattoo on your face. What you should do, however, is find your own look and style and let people see that you're comfortable being yourself.\\nIf you're hiding behind a pair of gray sweatpants, you won't get noticed—at least, not in a good way. So, find a look makes you comfortable, whether you look preppy, hipster chic, or grungy, and own it.\\nYou don't have to buy the trendiest clothes that everyone else is wearing unless you think you can really look good and comfortable in them. If you're buying the same Converse that everyone in school is wearing but they just look wrong on your feet, everyone will notice.\\nWhatever you wear, have confidence in it. Don't check yourself out in the mirror or ask everyone in your path if you look okay, or people will know that you doubt yourself.\\nIt's great to pay attention to your looks, but looking like you're trying too hard to be popular is worse than looking like you don't care. So, if you're not really into makeup, don't slather your face with it. If you don't like popping your collar, don't do it just because that's what everyone else is doing.\\nIf you want to get trendy clothes but don't have the budget, check out stores that have cool clothes at an affordable price (especially during their sales). Check out Aeropostale, American Eagle, or even Forever 21 to get some great deals.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take risks.\", \"描述\": \"To be popular, you're going to need to take a few chances on a social level that may normally feel uncomfortable to you. So be prepared to be bold.\\nTake risks by introducing yourself to someone you haven't met, going to a party you were invited to (even if you don't know many other guests), or by making statements that make you stand out in a crowd.\\nIf you get used to taking risks (without putting yourself in danger, of course) you will definitely get noticed more.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't act like you don't care.\", \"描述\": \"Yeah, if you go around acting like you're too cool for school, people may notice you, but it won't be in a good way. Though you may not want to be the teacher's pet and answer every question right, participating in class and making an effort will get you more positive attention than shrugging or being rude if the teacher asks you a question.\\nPart of looking like you're ready and excited for whatever life throws at you is to smile more. You don't have to smile like a maniac; however, you should smile when people greet you, or even be the one to smile first. This will make people want to get to know you.\\nIf you're in high school, then you may be at the point in your life where most people around you think it's cool to look bored or totally uninterested. However, you'll get noticed even more if you go against the grain here.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Social\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be interested, not interesting.\", \"描述\": \"Don't try to act interesting to get other people's attention; act interested in them. Ask them how work or school is going, how their family is doing, how that situation they mentioned a while back turned out, and so on. Then relate. Talk to them about how you or someone you know had something similar happen to them, and how they dealt with it.\\nStop thinking about yourself and how you can impress others. Of all the people skills that popular people have, the one that none of them can do without is empathy. How well do you relate to other people?\\nStop worrying so much about how you look, how you sound, how you compare, and start thinking about how other people are doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be friendly.\", \"描述\": \"Popular people are on friendly terms with pretty much everyone—not only their peers, but also the teachers, the supervisors, the grocery store clerk, the janitor, the parents, the kids, and generally anyone who's even the tiniest bit nice. They're on good enough terms that they can hold a short, friendly conversation with anyone in the room. There's no reason you can't do that, too. Being friendly doesn't take a big effort, but it makes a real impact.\\nKeep it casual. Small talk is all about sticking to \\\"safe\\\" topics. Stay away from anything controversial, like religion or politics. By expressing your views on a controversial topic, you're bound to be unpopular with people who disagree. Keep the topics \\\"light\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't butt in.\", \"描述\": \"There's a difference between being friendly and going where you're not wanted. Respect people's privacy; don't pry. Learn to read body language so you can see when your questions are starting to make them feel uncomfortable. If a person is backing away or leaning away from you, checking his phone every five minutes, or talking quietly to another friend before you approach, it may not be the best time to talk.\\nDon't invite yourself anywhere, don't stalk, don't brag, and don't interrupt. In other words, don't be annoying.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give a helping hand.\", \"描述\": \"Popular people don't just know everyone—they're on good terms with everyone. They establish those terms by helping people out, and they don't do it in particularly noticeable ways. They do little things to establish rapport (in addition to some big things, like volunteering). They offer someone a pencil when they need it. They close the neighbor's gate when it opens after a strong wind. They hold the door open and wait for the person behind them. But most often, they listen to people when they talk, and they offer to help somehow.\\nIf you truly empathize with people, you'll want things to work out for them. If there's nothing you can do to help then, at the very least, let them know that you're hoping the best for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be yourself—for real\", \"描述\": \"This may sound trite, but people who are truly popular don't worry about what they should do to \\\"fit in\\\", because they really do just because they're comfortable with who they are. You might think that in order to be popular, you need to be attractive and talented, but while it's true that those qualities are more likely to make you a hit with people, there are extremely popular people who are otherwise quite average, and there are extremely good-looking and talented people who are anything but popular.\\nRemember, the only thing you need in order to be popular is a good set of people skills. The remainder is all yours to mold as you see fit, regardless of what anyone else thinks.\\nPart of being yourself is knowing yourself well enough to laugh at yourself. Show people that you recognize your quirks and don't take yourself too seriously, and they'll be impressed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't try too hard.\", \"描述\": \"Surprisingly, many \\\"popular\\\" people don't put too much conscious effort into it. They simply are themselves. If you're desperate to be popular, it will show in your actions, and people will think you're a poser, or worse, a freak. One way to make friends is if you find a group of friends that shares your interests, whom you can easily be yourself around. Then, as you become more and more accustomed to hanging out with people, you can branch out and start talking to different people.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join a team.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to be Lebron James to join your school basketball team. Joining a team is not only a great way to exercise and feel good about yourself, but it's an awesome way to broaden your horizons and make friends. If you're even a little athletically inclined, it's worth it to try out for one of your school's sports teams or to join a casual sports league in your neighborhood.\\nJoining a team will expose you to more people and will help you learn how to get along with a variety of people that you might not otherwise encounter in your classes or daily life.\\nJoining a team will also improve your social life. You'll be more likely to make plans for what to do after the game, or to go to pre-game dinners and other activities with your team.\\nJoining a team is also a great way to put yourself out there and to let more people know who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Join a club.\", \"描述\": \"Joining a club is another way to broaden your horizons and to meet more people. You may not meet the same kind of people at the school newspaper that you'd meet on your soccer team, so it's a great idea to join a club and a team if you have the interest and the time in your busy schedule. Find something you're interested in or even just curious about, and try to put yourself in a leadership role in the club once you've gained enough experience, so you're more comfortable being a leader and know more people.\\nDon't worry about a club being \\\"too nerdy\\\" for you. Doing something that you love and meeting more people will make you more popular.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get involved in the classroom.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to suck up to the teacher or have your hand raised in the air the whole time to stand out in the classroom. Just be friendly to people when they sit down next to you, answer your teacher's questions without being overbearing, and generally show that you care without being so absorbed that you don't notice the social dynamics around you.\\nIf you're more active in class, more people will know your name and recognize you if you come up in the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a variety of interests.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just be a jock or get obsessed with the school yearbook. Instead, maintain a variety of interests by having a few irons in the fire at once. Though you shouldn't spread yourself so thin that you don't have time for yourself, being more involved in more activities will help you get recognized, put your name out there, and get to know more people from different walks of life.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get involved in your community.\", \"描述\": \"Getting involved in your community will not only help you improve the life of people who are in need, but it'll help you learn how to interact with a larger number of people from different backgrounds, ages, and financial situations. The more people you know how to get along with, the more adept you'll be at meeting new people and making them feel welcome when the time comes.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be friendly to those you know. Smile, say hello, and if they greet you back, ask them how they're doing. No matter where you go, make it a habit to chat with strangers and acquaintances alike, even if it's just for a few minutes.\\n\", \"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like \\\"Well, she's always been nice to me, so I don't know\\\" or \\\"Maybe he has personal issues that we don't know about. Who knows?\\\"\\n\", \"Look approachable. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Give people a chance to warm up to you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Realize that popularity has its ups and downs, and may fade very quickly when you start at a new school or job. Every situation is different and sometimes you need to start over.\\n\", \"Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can control is how you treat others.\\n\", \"Don't be upset if you're not the most popular person in school. Sometimes it's better to have good friends that care about you and are fun to hang out with, than being a cool kid. Because after all you need some good buddies.\\n\", \"Guard your privacy. When everyone knows you, it means that there's a greater likelihood of nosiness and gossip. Think of how famous celebrities have someone prying into their personal lives at all times. You'll also need to be prepared for people starting conversations with you while you're running errands or sitting down reading a book at the park. It comes with the package. Handle it gracefully.\\n\", \"Don't be disappointed if you fail. Popularity can be easy for some and practically impossible for others. There are many factors which can prevent a person from being outgoing and well-liked, but that does not mean the person is worth any less.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,045 | How to Be Popular Fast | 1. Improving Conversation Skills
1-1. Make eye contact and smile frequently.
The first step to a good conversation is having the other person feel like you’re interested in talking to them! Look at them while they are talking and while you’re talking, but break eye contact occasionally to avoid having them think you're staring them down. Smile often, but don’t wear a fake smile plastered on your face constantly.
If the person says something amusing, this is the perfect time to smile at them. Or, if you’re telling a story that has funny parts, smile while you’re telling them.
Try offering someone a simple wave and smile; if they're in the same mindset, they'll usually offer you a smile back.
1-2. Introduce yourself or friends who don’t know each other.
If you’re in a group of people you know, notice if there’s someone who doesn’t know other people in the group. Say, “Oh, have you all met Lorraine yet?” Allow the group to introduce themselves individually, or you can name the people in the group if you want.
If there’s someone in the group who you don’t know, make eye contact, smile, and say, “Hi, I’m Sam, I don’t think we’ve met before.” The other person will then introduce themselves, and you can say, “Nice to meet you.”
1-3. Listen carefully and wait to respond until a person is finished talking.
Interrupting is a huge turn-off in a conversation. Instead of constantly thinking about what you want to say next, listen to the other person. When they’re finished, think of a response and don’t worry about saying the right thing.
Try to respond in a way that shows you were listening, and avoid abruptly changing the topic.
Try asking the person a question if you’d like to know more about what they were saying. Or, share a similar experience that you’ve had in the past after you say, “I know what you mean; that’s happened to me before…”
1-4. Pay attention to how the other person is acting and feeling.
It’s important to notice if someone changes mood or looks uncomfortable during a conversation. If this happens, try to change the subject. Try to match the other person’s mood – if they are excited, show enthusiasm by smiling, laughing, or talking louder.
If someone is proud of an accomplishment, be genuine in complimenting them. Say, “That’s wonderful; congratulations!” Don’t act jealous or downplay their achievement by talking about yourself during their proud moment.
1-5. Talk about current events.
Talking about the present or future is usually more interesting than talking about past events, unless the past story is related to what the other person is talking about. Stay updated on what’s happening in the world so you can contribute to a conversation about news or politics if that’s what it’s about.
Try reading news apps or current events stories on social media to stay up-to-date and form opinions for conversation starters.
If you have a difference in opinion about a current news event with someone, you can say, "That's interesting you see it that way; I guess I hadn't thought of it like that before. I think..." and then state your opinion.
1-6. Show empathy if the other person is distressed.
If someone is upset, say things that reaffirm their feelings, such as, “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.” Stay calm and listen. Offer to help by saying, “Is there a way I can help?” or “How can I help?”
If you know the person well enough to offer them a hug, you can do so. This would be appropriate if the person is a closer friend or someone who you have spent time with before.
Avoid offering advice unless the person asks for it. Sometimes people just want to talk something out. But if they say, “What should I do?” you can tell them what you think might help.
1-7. End a conversation before it gets dull or repetitive.
If you’ve talked about the same subject with a person for a while and you’re running out of new things to say, try changing the subject. Or, if you’re in a larger social gathering, move on to talk to someone else.
When it’s time to end your interaction with the person you’re talking to, you can say, “It was nice talking to you,” or “Hope to see you again soon.”
2. Having an Attractive Personality
2-1. Be energetic and positive.
When you’re telling a story, change your tone when it’s appropriate by getting louder at an exciting part and lowering your voice at a secretive or sad part, and change the types of phrases you use. Avoid talking in a monotone voice, as this is boring to most people, and people may think you are bored as well.
Try not to focus on negative or sad events, but if you need to talk about them, do so in a way that shows you can see the positive aspects in them.
One way you can show you see the positive in a sad event is to say, "This was very difficult, but I think I grew from it and learned not to take things for granted."
2-2. Be open to new ideas.
It’s good to have opinions, but if you’re constantly arguing with others because you think you’re always right, it’s going to be hard for other people to like you. If someone you don’t know very well says something you don’t agree with, you can say, “That’s an interesting take on it,” or “I hadn’t really thought about it that way before.”
The only exception to this is if someone is making insulting or hateful comments about other people based on stereotypes or because of someone’s race, gender, disability, etc. If this happens, feel free to tell the person you don’t like that type of talk and end the conversation.
2-3. Be more easygoing and flexible.
Many people don’t like someone who has to be in control at all times. If you make plans with another person and the plans change, be accepting of it. If you’re out with someone and something unexpected happens, such as bad traffic or a location being closed, have a sense of humor about it and think of an alternative.
Laugh about an annoying situation that’s out of your control and say, “That’s too bad. I guess we could try doing something else instead? What do you think?”
2-4. Make plans with friends regularly and accept invitations.
Come up with ideas for ways to be social with people you know. Invite your friends to do fun activities like swimming, skating, playing a sport, shopping, playing video games, or just watching movies at your house.
If you get invited to a social activity or party, do your best to try to go. The more often you attend different social events, the more often you will get invited to them.
3. Increasing Your Confidence
3-1. Approach new people.
The best way to make new friends is to go up to new people and introduce yourself. Start a conversation based on where you are; if you’re at a party, you can ask how the other person knows the hosts. If you’re at a club, comment on how great you think the place is and ask if the other person goes there often.
If you’re new to a place such as a gym or other group activity, say so. Say, “I’m pretty new to this place, do you have any advice for me?”
3-2. Become good at something.
One of the best ways to increase your own self-esteem and become more attractive to others is to focus on something you enjoy and get better at it. Others will see that you are passionate and goal-driven, which are traits that others like. Choose a sport, extra-curricular activity, hobby, or area of work that you enjoy and spend more time getting good at it.
Set goals for yourself that show your improvement. Try to set a new record, create a new craft, or get a good review within a month and then find a way to reward yourself for your hard work. A reward could be buying yourself something new or going out to a new place with friends.
3-3. Dress how you feel most comfortable.
As long as you have good hygiene, such as clean clothes, hair, and teeth, it doesn’t really matter how you dress for most informal occasions. Try not to be overly concerned with comparing yourself to how others look, and focus instead on how you like to look.
If you like the way that someone dresses, avoid copying their style exactly, but instead take elements from it that you like and make them into your own. For example, find out the brand that someone wears and buy different items of that brand than what they have.
For more formal occasions, if you're unsure what type of attire is appropriate, ask another person who is planning to attend the event, or research the type of event online along with "what to wear."
4. Avoiding Social Turn-offs
4-1. Don’t be the center of attention.
You don’t need to act like you’re on stage to be liked. Many people view this behavior as unnecessary and like you’re trying too hard. If you find yourself interrupting, not hearing what others are saying, or that you’re talking for most of the conversation, take a step back and make room for others to speak.
Avoid yelling or making outrageous comments for shock value around people you don’t know very well.
4-2. Avoid talking about others behind their backs.
It may seem like a good idea to gossip sometimes, and that talking about someone else will make you look better, but it usually backfires. The person you were talking about may find out, and the person you’re talking to may end up just thinking that you’re shallow and untrustworthy.
If you have an actual conflict with someone, try to deal with it directly and talk to them. If you need advice from another friend about how to handle a conflict, ask them for advice without speaking too negatively about the other person.
4-3. Don’t spend time with people who make you feel bad.
Sometimes it may seem like you can become popular by hanging around other popular people. But if those popular people are actually mean or treat you or others badly, don’t continue trying to be their friend. Choose friends who make you feel good about yourself and who you have fun with.
Spending time with negative people may actually make you less popular, because they can affect your self-esteem. Having confidence and good self-esteem is crucial to being popular, so it’s wise to spend your time with people who make you feel good.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving Conversation Skills\\n1-1. Make eye contact and smile frequently.\\nThe first step to a good conversation is having the other person feel like you’re interested in talking to them! Look at them while they are talking and while you’re talking, but break eye contact occasionally to avoid having them think you're staring them down. Smile often, but don’t wear a fake smile plastered on your face constantly.\\nIf the person says something amusing, this is the perfect time to smile at them. Or, if you’re telling a story that has funny parts, smile while you’re telling them.\\nTry offering someone a simple wave and smile; if they're in the same mindset, they'll usually offer you a smile back.\\n1-2. Introduce yourself or friends who don’t know each other.\\nIf you’re in a group of people you know, notice if there’s someone who doesn’t know other people in the group. Say, “Oh, have you all met Lorraine yet?” Allow the group to introduce themselves individually, or you can name the people in the group if you want.\\nIf there’s someone in the group who you don’t know, make eye contact, smile, and say, “Hi, I’m Sam, I don’t think we’ve met before.” The other person will then introduce themselves, and you can say, “Nice to meet you.”\\n1-3. Listen carefully and wait to respond until a person is finished talking.\\nInterrupting is a huge turn-off in a conversation. Instead of constantly thinking about what you want to say next, listen to the other person. When they’re finished, think of a response and don’t worry about saying the right thing.\\nTry to respond in a way that shows you were listening, and avoid abruptly changing the topic.\\nTry asking the person a question if you’d like to know more about what they were saying. Or, share a similar experience that you’ve had in the past after you say, “I know what you mean; that’s happened to me before…”\\n1-4. Pay attention to how the other person is acting and feeling.\\nIt’s important to notice if someone changes mood or looks uncomfortable during a conversation. If this happens, try to change the subject. Try to match the other person’s mood – if they are excited, show enthusiasm by smiling, laughing, or talking louder.\\nIf someone is proud of an accomplishment, be genuine in complimenting them. Say, “That’s wonderful; congratulations!” Don’t act jealous or downplay their achievement by talking about yourself during their proud moment.\\n1-5. Talk about current events.\\nTalking about the present or future is usually more interesting than talking about past events, unless the past story is related to what the other person is talking about. Stay updated on what’s happening in the world so you can contribute to a conversation about news or politics if that’s what it’s about.\\nTry reading news apps or current events stories on social media to stay up-to-date and form opinions for conversation starters.\\nIf you have a difference in opinion about a current news event with someone, you can say, \\\"That's interesting you see it that way; I guess I hadn't thought of it like that before. I think...\\\" and then state your opinion.\\n1-6. Show empathy if the other person is distressed.\\nIf someone is upset, say things that reaffirm their feelings, such as, “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.” Stay calm and listen. Offer to help by saying, “Is there a way I can help?” or “How can I help?”\\nIf you know the person well enough to offer them a hug, you can do so. This would be appropriate if the person is a closer friend or someone who you have spent time with before.\\nAvoid offering advice unless the person asks for it. Sometimes people just want to talk something out. But if they say, “What should I do?” you can tell them what you think might help.\\n1-7. End a conversation before it gets dull or repetitive.\\nIf you’ve talked about the same subject with a person for a while and you’re running out of new things to say, try changing the subject. Or, if you’re in a larger social gathering, move on to talk to someone else.\\nWhen it’s time to end your interaction with the person you’re talking to, you can say, “It was nice talking to you,” or “Hope to see you again soon.”\\n2. Having an Attractive Personality\\n2-1. Be energetic and positive.\\nWhen you’re telling a story, change your tone when it’s appropriate by getting louder at an exciting part and lowering your voice at a secretive or sad part, and change the types of phrases you use. Avoid talking in a monotone voice, as this is boring to most people, and people may think you are bored as well.\\nTry not to focus on negative or sad events, but if you need to talk about them, do so in a way that shows you can see the positive aspects in them.\\nOne way you can show you see the positive in a sad event is to say, \\\"This was very difficult, but I think I grew from it and learned not to take things for granted.\\\"\\n2-2. Be open to new ideas.\\nIt’s good to have opinions, but if you’re constantly arguing with others because you think you’re always right, it’s going to be hard for other people to like you. If someone you don’t know very well says something you don’t agree with, you can say, “That’s an interesting take on it,” or “I hadn’t really thought about it that way before.”\\nThe only exception to this is if someone is making insulting or hateful comments about other people based on stereotypes or because of someone’s race, gender, disability, etc. If this happens, feel free to tell the person you don’t like that type of talk and end the conversation.\\n2-3. Be more easygoing and flexible.\\nMany people don’t like someone who has to be in control at all times. If you make plans with another person and the plans change, be accepting of it. If you’re out with someone and something unexpected happens, such as bad traffic or a location being closed, have a sense of humor about it and think of an alternative.\\nLaugh about an annoying situation that’s out of your control and say, “That’s too bad. I guess we could try doing something else instead? What do you think?”\\n2-4. Make plans with friends regularly and accept invitations.\\nCome up with ideas for ways to be social with people you know. Invite your friends to do fun activities like swimming, skating, playing a sport, shopping, playing video games, or just watching movies at your house.\\nIf you get invited to a social activity or party, do your best to try to go. The more often you attend different social events, the more often you will get invited to them.\\n3. Increasing Your Confidence\\n3-1. Approach new people.\\nThe best way to make new friends is to go up to new people and introduce yourself. Start a conversation based on where you are; if you’re at a party, you can ask how the other person knows the hosts. If you’re at a club, comment on how great you think the place is and ask if the other person goes there often.\\nIf you’re new to a place such as a gym or other group activity, say so. Say, “I’m pretty new to this place, do you have any advice for me?”\\n3-2. Become good at something.\\nOne of the best ways to increase your own self-esteem and become more attractive to others is to focus on something you enjoy and get better at it. Others will see that you are passionate and goal-driven, which are traits that others like. Choose a sport, extra-curricular activity, hobby, or area of work that you enjoy and spend more time getting good at it.\\nSet goals for yourself that show your improvement. Try to set a new record, create a new craft, or get a good review within a month and then find a way to reward yourself for your hard work. A reward could be buying yourself something new or going out to a new place with friends.\\n3-3. Dress how you feel most comfortable.\\nAs long as you have good hygiene, such as clean clothes, hair, and teeth, it doesn’t really matter how you dress for most informal occasions. Try not to be overly concerned with comparing yourself to how others look, and focus instead on how you like to look.\\nIf you like the way that someone dresses, avoid copying their style exactly, but instead take elements from it that you like and make them into your own. For example, find out the brand that someone wears and buy different items of that brand than what they have.\\nFor more formal occasions, if you're unsure what type of attire is appropriate, ask another person who is planning to attend the event, or research the type of event online along with \\\"what to wear.\\\"\\n4. Avoiding Social Turn-offs\\n4-1. Don’t be the center of attention.\\nYou don’t need to act like you’re on stage to be liked. Many people view this behavior as unnecessary and like you’re trying too hard. If you find yourself interrupting, not hearing what others are saying, or that you’re talking for most of the conversation, take a step back and make room for others to speak.\\nAvoid yelling or making outrageous comments for shock value around people you don’t know very well.\\n4-2. Avoid talking about others behind their backs.\\nIt may seem like a good idea to gossip sometimes, and that talking about someone else will make you look better, but it usually backfires. The person you were talking about may find out, and the person you’re talking to may end up just thinking that you’re shallow and untrustworthy.\\nIf you have an actual conflict with someone, try to deal with it directly and talk to them. If you need advice from another friend about how to handle a conflict, ask them for advice without speaking too negatively about the other person.\\n4-3. Don’t spend time with people who make you feel bad.\\nSometimes it may seem like you can become popular by hanging around other popular people. But if those popular people are actually mean or treat you or others badly, don’t continue trying to be their friend. Choose friends who make you feel good about yourself and who you have fun with.\\nSpending time with negative people may actually make you less popular, because they can affect your self-esteem. Having confidence and good self-esteem is crucial to being popular, so it’s wise to spend your time with people who make you feel good.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being liked is something that most people strive for. If you want to quickly increase your number of friends, there are some easy ways to do so. You can improve your conversation skills, have an attractive personality, increase your confidence, and avoid certain social turn-offs to quickly become more popular.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving Conversation Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact and smile frequently.\", \"描述\": \"The first step to a good conversation is having the other person feel like you’re interested in talking to them! Look at them while they are talking and while you’re talking, but break eye contact occasionally to avoid having them think you're staring them down. Smile often, but don’t wear a fake smile plastered on your face constantly.\\nIf the person says something amusing, this is the perfect time to smile at them. Or, if you’re telling a story that has funny parts, smile while you’re telling them.\\nTry offering someone a simple wave and smile; if they're in the same mindset, they'll usually offer you a smile back.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself or friends who don’t know each other.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in a group of people you know, notice if there’s someone who doesn’t know other people in the group. Say, “Oh, have you all met Lorraine yet?” Allow the group to introduce themselves individually, or you can name the people in the group if you want.\\nIf there’s someone in the group who you don’t know, make eye contact, smile, and say, “Hi, I’m Sam, I don’t think we’ve met before.” The other person will then introduce themselves, and you can say, “Nice to meet you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen carefully and wait to respond until a person is finished talking.\", \"描述\": \"Interrupting is a huge turn-off in a conversation. Instead of constantly thinking about what you want to say next, listen to the other person. When they’re finished, think of a response and don’t worry about saying the right thing.\\nTry to respond in a way that shows you were listening, and avoid abruptly changing the topic.\\nTry asking the person a question if you’d like to know more about what they were saying. Or, share a similar experience that you’ve had in the past after you say, “I know what you mean; that’s happened to me before…”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to how the other person is acting and feeling.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to notice if someone changes mood or looks uncomfortable during a conversation. If this happens, try to change the subject. Try to match the other person’s mood – if they are excited, show enthusiasm by smiling, laughing, or talking louder.\\nIf someone is proud of an accomplishment, be genuine in complimenting them. Say, “That’s wonderful; congratulations!” Don’t act jealous or downplay their achievement by talking about yourself during their proud moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk about current events.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about the present or future is usually more interesting than talking about past events, unless the past story is related to what the other person is talking about. Stay updated on what’s happening in the world so you can contribute to a conversation about news or politics if that’s what it’s about.\\nTry reading news apps or current events stories on social media to stay up-to-date and form opinions for conversation starters.\\nIf you have a difference in opinion about a current news event with someone, you can say, \\\"That's interesting you see it that way; I guess I hadn't thought of it like that before. I think...\\\" and then state your opinion.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Show empathy if the other person is distressed.\", \"描述\": \"If someone is upset, say things that reaffirm their feelings, such as, “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.” Stay calm and listen. Offer to help by saying, “Is there a way I can help?” or “How can I help?”\\nIf you know the person well enough to offer them a hug, you can do so. This would be appropriate if the person is a closer friend or someone who you have spent time with before.\\nAvoid offering advice unless the person asks for it. Sometimes people just want to talk something out. But if they say, “What should I do?” you can tell them what you think might help.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"End a conversation before it gets dull or repetitive.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve talked about the same subject with a person for a while and you’re running out of new things to say, try changing the subject. Or, if you’re in a larger social gathering, move on to talk to someone else.\\nWhen it’s time to end your interaction with the person you’re talking to, you can say, “It was nice talking to you,” or “Hope to see you again soon.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having an Attractive Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be energetic and positive.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re telling a story, change your tone when it’s appropriate by getting louder at an exciting part and lowering your voice at a secretive or sad part, and change the types of phrases you use. Avoid talking in a monotone voice, as this is boring to most people, and people may think you are bored as well.\\nTry not to focus on negative or sad events, but if you need to talk about them, do so in a way that shows you can see the positive aspects in them.\\nOne way you can show you see the positive in a sad event is to say, \\\"This was very difficult, but I think I grew from it and learned not to take things for granted.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be open to new ideas.\", \"描述\": \"It’s good to have opinions, but if you’re constantly arguing with others because you think you’re always right, it’s going to be hard for other people to like you. If someone you don’t know very well says something you don’t agree with, you can say, “That’s an interesting take on it,” or “I hadn’t really thought about it that way before.”\\nThe only exception to this is if someone is making insulting or hateful comments about other people based on stereotypes or because of someone’s race, gender, disability, etc. If this happens, feel free to tell the person you don’t like that type of talk and end the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be more easygoing and flexible.\", \"描述\": \"Many people don’t like someone who has to be in control at all times. If you make plans with another person and the plans change, be accepting of it. If you’re out with someone and something unexpected happens, such as bad traffic or a location being closed, have a sense of humor about it and think of an alternative.\\nLaugh about an annoying situation that’s out of your control and say, “That’s too bad. I guess we could try doing something else instead? What do you think?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make plans with friends regularly and accept invitations.\", \"描述\": \"Come up with ideas for ways to be social with people you know. Invite your friends to do fun activities like swimming, skating, playing a sport, shopping, playing video games, or just watching movies at your house.\\nIf you get invited to a social activity or party, do your best to try to go. The more often you attend different social events, the more often you will get invited to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Increasing Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approach new people.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to make new friends is to go up to new people and introduce yourself. Start a conversation based on where you are; if you’re at a party, you can ask how the other person knows the hosts. If you’re at a club, comment on how great you think the place is and ask if the other person goes there often.\\nIf you’re new to a place such as a gym or other group activity, say so. Say, “I’m pretty new to this place, do you have any advice for me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become good at something.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to increase your own self-esteem and become more attractive to others is to focus on something you enjoy and get better at it. Others will see that you are passionate and goal-driven, which are traits that others like. Choose a sport, extra-curricular activity, hobby, or area of work that you enjoy and spend more time getting good at it.\\nSet goals for yourself that show your improvement. Try to set a new record, create a new craft, or get a good review within a month and then find a way to reward yourself for your hard work. A reward could be buying yourself something new or going out to a new place with friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress how you feel most comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"As long as you have good hygiene, such as clean clothes, hair, and teeth, it doesn’t really matter how you dress for most informal occasions. Try not to be overly concerned with comparing yourself to how others look, and focus instead on how you like to look.\\nIf you like the way that someone dresses, avoid copying their style exactly, but instead take elements from it that you like and make them into your own. For example, find out the brand that someone wears and buy different items of that brand than what they have.\\nFor more formal occasions, if you're unsure what type of attire is appropriate, ask another person who is planning to attend the event, or research the type of event online along with \\\"what to wear.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Social Turn-offs\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t be the center of attention.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to act like you’re on stage to be liked. Many people view this behavior as unnecessary and like you’re trying too hard. If you find yourself interrupting, not hearing what others are saying, or that you’re talking for most of the conversation, take a step back and make room for others to speak.\\nAvoid yelling or making outrageous comments for shock value around people you don’t know very well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid talking about others behind their backs.\", \"描述\": \"It may seem like a good idea to gossip sometimes, and that talking about someone else will make you look better, but it usually backfires. The person you were talking about may find out, and the person you’re talking to may end up just thinking that you’re shallow and untrustworthy.\\nIf you have an actual conflict with someone, try to deal with it directly and talk to them. If you need advice from another friend about how to handle a conflict, ask them for advice without speaking too negatively about the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t spend time with people who make you feel bad.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it may seem like you can become popular by hanging around other popular people. But if those popular people are actually mean or treat you or others badly, don’t continue trying to be their friend. Choose friends who make you feel good about yourself and who you have fun with.\\nSpending time with negative people may actually make you less popular, because they can affect your self-esteem. Having confidence and good self-esteem is crucial to being popular, so it’s wise to spend your time with people who make you feel good.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,046 | How to Be Popular and Pretty | 1. Becoming Pretty
1-1. Apply makeup that highlights your unique features.
A simple application of makeup will accentuate your gorgeous features, boost your confidence, and make you look pretty. When applying makeup, customize to following steps and suggestions to fit your needs:
Apply an SPF moisturizer to your face.
Conceal any dark spots and blemishes with foundation, followed by concealer (if needed). Blend the products.
Highlight your cheekbones with blush. Apply the blush to the apples of your cheeks and spread the product towards your upper ears.
Apply a dash of shimmery eyeshadow to your eyelids. Line your lids with an eyeliner of your choice to make your eyes pop. Coat your eyelashes with mascara for a simple but classy finishing touch.
For plump lips, apply chapstick followed by lipstick or lipgloss.
1-2. Wear clothes that accentuate your best attributes.
Your wardrobe should contain items that you feel comfortable and confident wearing. First and foremost, choose clothing that highlights your best features while minimizing your problem areas. The items you select should also reflect your personal aesthetic.
Opt to skip the fashion trends if they are unflattering or contradictory to your personal sense of style.
Remember, your outfits can be a statement of your personality and values. While you should never apologize for your clothing choices, try to pick pieces that accurately reflect your true personality.
1-3. Care for your hair.
Since your tresses frame your pretty face, it is essential that your hair is properly cared for each day. Brush your hair each day and condition your locks frequently. Keep split ends at bay with regular haircuts.
1-4. Take care of your body.
In order to have a flattering figure and beautiful skin, you must take proper care of yourself. Consider implementing the following suggestions into your routine:
Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. An adequate amount of sleep will reinvigorate your body and your skin.
Exercise regularly. Physical activity is the key to maintaining a fit figure and a healthy complexion. Try to work out for 30 to 45 minutes each day.
Consume a well-balanced diet and plenty of water. A diet rich in vitamins, minerals, nutrients, and H2O to keep your skin, nails, and hair healthy.
2. Becoming Popular
2-1. Be yourself.
When you alter your personality to impress other people, you are putting on a facade that hides your true self. As a result, you are not only denying people the opportunity to get to know the real you, but you are also denying yourself the opportunity to discover legitimate acceptance. Have the confidence and courage to be you.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun, laugh at yourself often, and smile frequently.
2-2. Be positive.
People are drawn to positivity. Developing a positive attitude will make you more approachable, relatable, and likable. As those around you recognize that you are accepting rather than exclusive, compassionate rather than judgmental, and supportive rather than jealous, you will win over people.
2-3. Be inclusive.
As you become popular, never forget what it felt like to be excluded, invisible, or bullied. Make an effort to remain humble. Extend kindness, friendship, and respect to everyone around you. Welcome newcomers to your group with upon arms. Strike up a conversation with someone others avoid. Your ability to make others feel like part of the group will only increase your popularity.
2-4. Be involved.
Participating in new activities is an excellent way to meet new people and receive the attention of those in your community. In addition to joining clubs and groups within your comfort zone, consider exploring new hobbies, sports, or arts.
Try out for a sports team or join an intramural league.
Audition for the school play or compete for a spot on the debate team.
Participate in Quiz Bowl or trivia.
Join a gym or a book club.
Start a group about something you are passionate about.
3. Becoming Confident
3-1. Evolve as an individual.
Self-confidence and self-awareness are extremely attractive qualities. Embark on a journey of self-discovery down an unpredictable path towards inner beauty, independence, and renewed self-worth.
Take classes that challenge your worldview.
Spend time appreciating nature and works of art.
Dedicate yourself to elevating the cause of others above the needs of your own.
Learn from those around you.
3-2. Accept yourself.
Throughout your journey of self-discovery, you will learn new things about yourself. Instead of ignoring your findings, own them. Recognize that you are who you are; accept that your interests, dreams, and passions are what make you unique. As you grow to love your true self, your confidence will flourish.
3-3. Embrace your unique features.
Every individual is uniquely beautiful. Identify what makes you different—perhaps it is or hair color or freckles, or your high cheekbones or almond-shaped eyes. While these features may make you self-conscious, they are also what make you special.
Use makeup and hair products to draw positive attention to the features. Doing so will make you distinctly beautiful.
Tips
Set your own style and class in everything you do. It will not only make you unique but will also gather attention from others.
Always be cheerful. A good smile is enough. A smile is contagious and it will help you to meet new people.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Becoming Pretty\\n1-1. Apply makeup that highlights your unique features.\\nA simple application of makeup will accentuate your gorgeous features, boost your confidence, and make you look pretty. When applying makeup, customize to following steps and suggestions to fit your needs:\\nApply an SPF moisturizer to your face.\\nConceal any dark spots and blemishes with foundation, followed by concealer (if needed). Blend the products.\\nHighlight your cheekbones with blush. Apply the blush to the apples of your cheeks and spread the product towards your upper ears.\\nApply a dash of shimmery eyeshadow to your eyelids. Line your lids with an eyeliner of your choice to make your eyes pop. Coat your eyelashes with mascara for a simple but classy finishing touch.\\nFor plump lips, apply chapstick followed by lipstick or lipgloss.\\n1-2. Wear clothes that accentuate your best attributes.\\nYour wardrobe should contain items that you feel comfortable and confident wearing. First and foremost, choose clothing that highlights your best features while minimizing your problem areas. The items you select should also reflect your personal aesthetic.\\nOpt to skip the fashion trends if they are unflattering or contradictory to your personal sense of style.\\nRemember, your outfits can be a statement of your personality and values. While you should never apologize for your clothing choices, try to pick pieces that accurately reflect your true personality.\\n1-3. Care for your hair.\\nSince your tresses frame your pretty face, it is essential that your hair is properly cared for each day. Brush your hair each day and condition your locks frequently. Keep split ends at bay with regular haircuts.\\n1-4. Take care of your body.\\nIn order to have a flattering figure and beautiful skin, you must take proper care of yourself. Consider implementing the following suggestions into your routine:\\nGet at least 8 hours of sleep each night. An adequate amount of sleep will reinvigorate your body and your skin.\\nExercise regularly. Physical activity is the key to maintaining a fit figure and a healthy complexion. Try to work out for 30 to 45 minutes each day.\\nConsume a well-balanced diet and plenty of water. A diet rich in vitamins, minerals, nutrients, and H2O to keep your skin, nails, and hair healthy.\\n2. Becoming Popular\\n2-1. Be yourself.\\nWhen you alter your personality to impress other people, you are putting on a facade that hides your true self. As a result, you are not only denying people the opportunity to get to know the real you, but you are also denying yourself the opportunity to discover legitimate acceptance. Have the confidence and courage to be you.\\nDon’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun, laugh at yourself often, and smile frequently.\\n2-2. Be positive.\\nPeople are drawn to positivity. Developing a positive attitude will make you more approachable, relatable, and likable. As those around you recognize that you are accepting rather than exclusive, compassionate rather than judgmental, and supportive rather than jealous, you will win over people.\\n2-3. Be inclusive.\\nAs you become popular, never forget what it felt like to be excluded, invisible, or bullied. Make an effort to remain humble. Extend kindness, friendship, and respect to everyone around you. Welcome newcomers to your group with upon arms. Strike up a conversation with someone others avoid. Your ability to make others feel like part of the group will only increase your popularity.\\n2-4. Be involved.\\nParticipating in new activities is an excellent way to meet new people and receive the attention of those in your community. In addition to joining clubs and groups within your comfort zone, consider exploring new hobbies, sports, or arts.\\nTry out for a sports team or join an intramural league.\\nAudition for the school play or compete for a spot on the debate team.\\nParticipate in Quiz Bowl or trivia.\\nJoin a gym or a book club.\\nStart a group about something you are passionate about.\\n3. Becoming Confident\\n3-1. Evolve as an individual.\\nSelf-confidence and self-awareness are extremely attractive qualities. Embark on a journey of self-discovery down an unpredictable path towards inner beauty, independence, and renewed self-worth.\\nTake classes that challenge your worldview.\\nSpend time appreciating nature and works of art.\\nDedicate yourself to elevating the cause of others above the needs of your own.\\nLearn from those around you.\\n3-2. Accept yourself.\\nThroughout your journey of self-discovery, you will learn new things about yourself. Instead of ignoring your findings, own them. Recognize that you are who you are; accept that your interests, dreams, and passions are what make you unique. As you grow to love your true self, your confidence will flourish.\\n3-3. Embrace your unique features.\\nEvery individual is uniquely beautiful. Identify what makes you different—perhaps it is or hair color or freckles, or your high cheekbones or almond-shaped eyes. While these features may make you self-conscious, they are also what make you special.\\nUse makeup and hair products to draw positive attention to the features. Doing so will make you distinctly beautiful.\\nTips\\nSet your own style and class in everything you do. It will not only make you unique but will also gather attention from others.\\nAlways be cheerful. A good smile is enough. A smile is contagious and it will help you to meet new people.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The desire to look pretty and become popular is extremely common and natural. But in order to attain these qualities, you need to develop your best signature look, enhance your personality, and evaluate your self-worth. As you strive to attain these qualities, you will discover the value of self-confidence, self-awareness, positivity, and kindness. Be yourself along the way and see what fits best for you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming Pretty\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apply makeup that highlights your unique features.\", \"描述\": \"A simple application of makeup will accentuate your gorgeous features, boost your confidence, and make you look pretty. When applying makeup, customize to following steps and suggestions to fit your needs:\\nApply an SPF moisturizer to your face.\\nConceal any dark spots and blemishes with foundation, followed by concealer (if needed). Blend the products.\\nHighlight your cheekbones with blush. Apply the blush to the apples of your cheeks and spread the product towards your upper ears.\\nApply a dash of shimmery eyeshadow to your eyelids. Line your lids with an eyeliner of your choice to make your eyes pop. Coat your eyelashes with mascara for a simple but classy finishing touch.\\nFor plump lips, apply chapstick followed by lipstick or lipgloss.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that accentuate your best attributes.\", \"描述\": \"Your wardrobe should contain items that you feel comfortable and confident wearing. First and foremost, choose clothing that highlights your best features while minimizing your problem areas. The items you select should also reflect your personal aesthetic.\\nOpt to skip the fashion trends if they are unflattering or contradictory to your personal sense of style.\\nRemember, your outfits can be a statement of your personality and values. While you should never apologize for your clothing choices, try to pick pieces that accurately reflect your true personality.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Care for your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Since your tresses frame your pretty face, it is essential that your hair is properly cared for each day. Brush your hair each day and condition your locks frequently. Keep split ends at bay with regular haircuts.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take care of your body.\", \"描述\": \"In order to have a flattering figure and beautiful skin, you must take proper care of yourself. Consider implementing the following suggestions into your routine:\\nGet at least 8 hours of sleep each night. An adequate amount of sleep will reinvigorate your body and your skin.\\nExercise regularly. Physical activity is the key to maintaining a fit figure and a healthy complexion. Try to work out for 30 to 45 minutes each day.\\nConsume a well-balanced diet and plenty of water. A diet rich in vitamins, minerals, nutrients, and H2O to keep your skin, nails, and hair healthy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Becoming Popular\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"When you alter your personality to impress other people, you are putting on a facade that hides your true self. As a result, you are not only denying people the opportunity to get to know the real you, but you are also denying yourself the opportunity to discover legitimate acceptance. Have the confidence and courage to be you.\\nDon’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun, laugh at yourself often, and smile frequently.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be positive.\", \"描述\": \"People are drawn to positivity. Developing a positive attitude will make you more approachable, relatable, and likable. As those around you recognize that you are accepting rather than exclusive, compassionate rather than judgmental, and supportive rather than jealous, you will win over people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be inclusive.\", \"描述\": \"As you become popular, never forget what it felt like to be excluded, invisible, or bullied. Make an effort to remain humble. Extend kindness, friendship, and respect to everyone around you. Welcome newcomers to your group with upon arms. Strike up a conversation with someone others avoid. Your ability to make others feel like part of the group will only increase your popularity.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be involved.\", \"描述\": \"Participating in new activities is an excellent way to meet new people and receive the attention of those in your community. In addition to joining clubs and groups within your comfort zone, consider exploring new hobbies, sports, or arts.\\nTry out for a sports team or join an intramural league.\\nAudition for the school play or compete for a spot on the debate team.\\nParticipate in Quiz Bowl or trivia.\\nJoin a gym or a book club.\\nStart a group about something you are passionate about.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Becoming Confident\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evolve as an individual.\", \"描述\": \"Self-confidence and self-awareness are extremely attractive qualities. Embark on a journey of self-discovery down an unpredictable path towards inner beauty, independence, and renewed self-worth.\\nTake classes that challenge your worldview.\\nSpend time appreciating nature and works of art.\\nDedicate yourself to elevating the cause of others above the needs of your own.\\nLearn from those around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Throughout your journey of self-discovery, you will learn new things about yourself. Instead of ignoring your findings, own them. Recognize that you are who you are; accept that your interests, dreams, and passions are what make you unique. As you grow to love your true self, your confidence will flourish.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Embrace your unique features.\", \"描述\": \"Every individual is uniquely beautiful. Identify what makes you different—perhaps it is or hair color or freckles, or your high cheekbones or almond-shaped eyes. While these features may make you self-conscious, they are also what make you special.\\nUse makeup and hair products to draw positive attention to the features. Doing so will make you distinctly beautiful.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Set your own style and class in everything you do. It will not only make you unique but will also gather attention from others.\\n\", \"Always be cheerful. A good smile is enough. A smile is contagious and it will help you to meet new people.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,047 | How to Be Popular in Elementary School | 1. Making Friends
1-1. Learn about what the kids at your school like to do.
Watch the other kids and see what kind of TV shows, games, movies, and activities they enjoy. Then, try to participate in these activities yourself. This will give you something in common with other kids, which can help you build new friendships.
If all the kids at your school are obsessed with a certain TV show, watch an episode or two. You might want to watch the whole thing!
Maybe the kids at your school love a certain app. Download it and see if it’s any good.
Give that book series that everyone is reading a try. Who knows--it might become your new favorite!
1-2. Be true to yourself.
Yes, having common interests with other kids helps with popularity, but that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. At the end of the day, you should always be yourself. Being confident and genuine can help attract friends that are just as fantastic as you are!
If you’re a jokester, don’t be afraid to crack some hilarious jokes.
If you’re a trendsetter, embrace it! Be a true leader, not a follower. Maybe you’ll introduce funky striped socks or scented highlighters to the class.
1-3. Find a way to join in activities or games.
When you see a group of kids having a grand old time playing on the jungle gym at recess, try to find a way to play, too. See if there are any roles you can fill or any awesome skills you can bring to the game.
Does the group playing soccer need a goalie? That can be you!
If you’re great at digging holes and you see a group trying to dig to China, offer your digging skills.
1-4. Wear trendy clothes.
See what the kids at your school like to wear, and pick similar clothes. Of course, you don’t need to become a complete follower. You can still put your personal spin on popular styles!
If everyone loves graphic tees, ask a parent if you can buy a few. Be sure to pick ones in your favorite colors with designs that you love.
1-5. Choose friends that are nice to you.
Don’t waste your time trying to befriend kids that are probably going to ignore you. Instead, find people that enjoy your unique personality and make you feel special to have them.
Some kids may be nice to you one second and mean to you the next. These kids are not really your 'best mates'. Don’t spend time trying to get on their good side.
1-6. Join activities and clubs that interest you.
This is a great way to get more involved in the community and meet other cool kids who share your interests! Making friends will probably be a little easier since you’ll have something in common from the get-go.
For example, if you love drawing, consider joining your school’s art club. You can meet other kids that love art while creating some sweet paintings.
1-7. Talk to a trusted adult if you’re having a hard time making friends.
If you’re having trouble making friends, you’re not alone, and you’re not weird! Tons of kids have a hard time with this. However, if you’re feeling especially lonely or upset, talk to a trusted adult, like a parent or a school guidance counselor, to get a little extra support.
You might be embarrassed to tell an adult that you’re having a tough time making friends, but they won’t judge you! Be honest and say something like, “I’m feeling kind of lonely lately. I think I need help making some new friends.”
Remember—school counselors are there to help and support you!
2. Being Friendly
2-1. Give friendly greetings.
When you see people, say hello in a friendly voice and offer a smile! Make eye contact, too. A warm greeting shows other kids that you’re a positive, kind person.
If you’re shy, you may mumble or look away when people greet you. This can make it seem like you’re uninterested, so do your best to give back the warmest greeting that you can.
Try to use the person’s name when you greet them. It’ll make your greeting even friendlier.
2-2. Say nice things to others.
Saying nice things to others can make you more likeable. However, don’t go overboard showering your classmates with praise. Make sure that you mean the nice things you say.
If you notice that one of your classmates came to school with a really cool hairstyle, you could compliment them and tell them how you like it.
If the art kid drew a super neat tree in art class, tell him how much you admire his art skills.
2-3. Share with others.
You’ve probably heard about the importance of sharing since kindergarten, but did you know that it can boost your popularity? Of course, you shouldn't give away all your possessions, but sharing a few things now and then with your classmates can make them like you more.
If you have an extra bit of chocolate at lunch, offer it to the kids at your table.
Lend one of your colouring pens to a classmate who wants to decorate their notebook.
2-4. Help others when they need it.
It’ll show you’re generous and kind, possibly boosting your popularity. Plus, it can be a chance to show off some of your talents.
If you’re a math whiz, offer to help out a classmate who’s having a hard time finishing the worksheet in class.
If you see some unfortunate kid drop all their notebooks in the hall, help them gather everything up.
2-5. Be kind to everyone, not just the popular kids.
You might want to focus on getting in with the popular kids, but to be the good kind of popular, you need to be nice to everyone.
Remember, mean words and gossip on others are not the way to become popular. You want your popularity to be based on admiration, not on fear.
3. Having Great Conversations
3-1. Start a conversation by talking about your surroundings.
Having great conversations is an important part of being popular, so start as many as you can! Striking up a conversation might seem kind of hard, but here’s a trick: just start by talking about something going on around you.
If you’re in the cafeteria, you could turn to the person behind you and comment on the creepy-looking green bean mash.
If your class just had a killer homework assignment, you could start a conversation by saying, “Wow, that assignment took me FOREVER. Was it the same deal for you?”
3-2. Talk about likes and dislikes.
Trading likes and dislikes is a great way to get to know someone and have a fun conversation. Talk about something you like, and ask their opinion.
You might say, “I’m obsessed with tigers--they’re so fierce and strong! What’s your favorite animal?”
3-3. Ask questions for a more interesting conversation.
To have a great conversation that’ll leave the person thinking you’re awesome, you should ask them questions. No one likes a conversation hog. Asking questions shows the other person you’re interested in them and gets them talking.
Try to ask open-ended questions, which are questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.
If the other person is talking about how they love to skateboard, you might say, “That’s so cool--I’ve always wanted to try skateboarding! How did you start?”
3-4. Find things you have in common.
Talking about shared interests can make for a fantastic conversation. Try to find something that you and the other person have in common, and get chatting!
If you’re both in music club, you can bond over your love of singing.
Even if someone is really different from you, you could still have things in common. For example, almost everyone loves food! You just might share a love for sour gummy worms.
Warnings
People will change a lot in 4th and 5th grade. Classmates will start to change, people will get crushes and so on.
Don't ditch your old friends for ones you think are more "popular."
No one likes a show-off, so don’t brag.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Friends\\n1-1. Learn about what the kids at your school like to do.\\nWatch the other kids and see what kind of TV shows, games, movies, and activities they enjoy. Then, try to participate in these activities yourself. This will give you something in common with other kids, which can help you build new friendships.\\nIf all the kids at your school are obsessed with a certain TV show, watch an episode or two. You might want to watch the whole thing!\\nMaybe the kids at your school love a certain app. Download it and see if it’s any good.\\nGive that book series that everyone is reading a try. Who knows--it might become your new favorite!\\n1-2. Be true to yourself.\\nYes, having common interests with other kids helps with popularity, but that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. At the end of the day, you should always be yourself. Being confident and genuine can help attract friends that are just as fantastic as you are!\\nIf you’re a jokester, don’t be afraid to crack some hilarious jokes.\\nIf you’re a trendsetter, embrace it! Be a true leader, not a follower. Maybe you’ll introduce funky striped socks or scented highlighters to the class.\\n1-3. Find a way to join in activities or games.\\nWhen you see a group of kids having a grand old time playing on the jungle gym at recess, try to find a way to play, too. See if there are any roles you can fill or any awesome skills you can bring to the game.\\nDoes the group playing soccer need a goalie? That can be you!\\nIf you’re great at digging holes and you see a group trying to dig to China, offer your digging skills.\\n1-4. Wear trendy clothes.\\nSee what the kids at your school like to wear, and pick similar clothes. Of course, you don’t need to become a complete follower. You can still put your personal spin on popular styles!\\nIf everyone loves graphic tees, ask a parent if you can buy a few. Be sure to pick ones in your favorite colors with designs that you love.\\n1-5. Choose friends that are nice to you.\\nDon’t waste your time trying to befriend kids that are probably going to ignore you. Instead, find people that enjoy your unique personality and make you feel special to have them.\\nSome kids may be nice to you one second and mean to you the next. These kids are not really your 'best mates'. Don’t spend time trying to get on their good side.\\n1-6. Join activities and clubs that interest you.\\nThis is a great way to get more involved in the community and meet other cool kids who share your interests! Making friends will probably be a little easier since you’ll have something in common from the get-go.\\nFor example, if you love drawing, consider joining your school’s art club. You can meet other kids that love art while creating some sweet paintings.\\n1-7. Talk to a trusted adult if you’re having a hard time making friends.\\nIf you’re having trouble making friends, you’re not alone, and you’re not weird! Tons of kids have a hard time with this. However, if you’re feeling especially lonely or upset, talk to a trusted adult, like a parent or a school guidance counselor, to get a little extra support.\\nYou might be embarrassed to tell an adult that you’re having a tough time making friends, but they won’t judge you! Be honest and say something like, “I’m feeling kind of lonely lately. I think I need help making some new friends.”\\nRemember—school counselors are there to help and support you!\\n2. Being Friendly\\n2-1. Give friendly greetings.\\nWhen you see people, say hello in a friendly voice and offer a smile! Make eye contact, too. A warm greeting shows other kids that you’re a positive, kind person.\\nIf you’re shy, you may mumble or look away when people greet you. This can make it seem like you’re uninterested, so do your best to give back the warmest greeting that you can.\\nTry to use the person’s name when you greet them. It’ll make your greeting even friendlier.\\n2-2. Say nice things to others.\\nSaying nice things to others can make you more likeable. However, don’t go overboard showering your classmates with praise. Make sure that you mean the nice things you say.\\nIf you notice that one of your classmates came to school with a really cool hairstyle, you could compliment them and tell them how you like it.\\nIf the art kid drew a super neat tree in art class, tell him how much you admire his art skills.\\n2-3. Share with others.\\nYou’ve probably heard about the importance of sharing since kindergarten, but did you know that it can boost your popularity? Of course, you shouldn't give away all your possessions, but sharing a few things now and then with your classmates can make them like you more.\\nIf you have an extra bit of chocolate at lunch, offer it to the kids at your table.\\nLend one of your colouring pens to a classmate who wants to decorate their notebook.\\n2-4. Help others when they need it.\\nIt’ll show you’re generous and kind, possibly boosting your popularity. Plus, it can be a chance to show off some of your talents.\\nIf you’re a math whiz, offer to help out a classmate who’s having a hard time finishing the worksheet in class.\\nIf you see some unfortunate kid drop all their notebooks in the hall, help them gather everything up.\\n2-5. Be kind to everyone, not just the popular kids.\\nYou might want to focus on getting in with the popular kids, but to be the good kind of popular, you need to be nice to everyone.\\nRemember, mean words and gossip on others are not the way to become popular. You want your popularity to be based on admiration, not on fear.\\n3. Having Great Conversations\\n3-1. Start a conversation by talking about your surroundings.\\nHaving great conversations is an important part of being popular, so start as many as you can! Striking up a conversation might seem kind of hard, but here’s a trick: just start by talking about something going on around you.\\nIf you’re in the cafeteria, you could turn to the person behind you and comment on the creepy-looking green bean mash.\\nIf your class just had a killer homework assignment, you could start a conversation by saying, “Wow, that assignment took me FOREVER. Was it the same deal for you?”\\n3-2. Talk about likes and dislikes.\\nTrading likes and dislikes is a great way to get to know someone and have a fun conversation. Talk about something you like, and ask their opinion.\\nYou might say, “I’m obsessed with tigers--they’re so fierce and strong! What’s your favorite animal?”\\n3-3. Ask questions for a more interesting conversation.\\nTo have a great conversation that’ll leave the person thinking you’re awesome, you should ask them questions. No one likes a conversation hog. Asking questions shows the other person you’re interested in them and gets them talking.\\nTry to ask open-ended questions, which are questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.\\nIf the other person is talking about how they love to skateboard, you might say, “That’s so cool--I’ve always wanted to try skateboarding! How did you start?”\\n3-4. Find things you have in common.\\nTalking about shared interests can make for a fantastic conversation. Try to find something that you and the other person have in common, and get chatting!\\nIf you’re both in music club, you can bond over your love of singing.\\nEven if someone is really different from you, you could still have things in common. For example, almost everyone loves food! You just might share a love for sour gummy worms.\\nWarnings\\nPeople will change a lot in 4th and 5th grade. Classmates will start to change, people will get crushes and so on.\\nDon't ditch your old friends for ones you think are more \\\"popular.\\\"\\nNo one likes a show-off, so don’t brag.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To be popular means to have others admire and respect you. It’s a pretty great thing! To boost your own popularity, focus on finding common interests with other kids, being kind to everyone, and having great conversations. Don’t forget to stay true to yourself along the way, because you’re great just the way you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about what the kids at your school like to do.\", \"描述\": \"Watch the other kids and see what kind of TV shows, games, movies, and activities they enjoy. Then, try to participate in these activities yourself. This will give you something in common with other kids, which can help you build new friendships.\\nIf all the kids at your school are obsessed with a certain TV show, watch an episode or two. You might want to watch the whole thing!\\nMaybe the kids at your school love a certain app. Download it and see if it’s any good.\\nGive that book series that everyone is reading a try. Who knows--it might become your new favorite!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be true to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Yes, having common interests with other kids helps with popularity, but that doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. At the end of the day, you should always be yourself. Being confident and genuine can help attract friends that are just as fantastic as you are!\\nIf you’re a jokester, don’t be afraid to crack some hilarious jokes.\\nIf you’re a trendsetter, embrace it! Be a true leader, not a follower. Maybe you’ll introduce funky striped socks or scented highlighters to the class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a way to join in activities or games.\", \"描述\": \"When you see a group of kids having a grand old time playing on the jungle gym at recess, try to find a way to play, too. See if there are any roles you can fill or any awesome skills you can bring to the game.\\nDoes the group playing soccer need a goalie? That can be you!\\nIf you’re great at digging holes and you see a group trying to dig to China, offer your digging skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear trendy clothes.\", \"描述\": \"See what the kids at your school like to wear, and pick similar clothes. Of course, you don’t need to become a complete follower. You can still put your personal spin on popular styles!\\nIf everyone loves graphic tees, ask a parent if you can buy a few. Be sure to pick ones in your favorite colors with designs that you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Choose friends that are nice to you.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t waste your time trying to befriend kids that are probably going to ignore you. Instead, find people that enjoy your unique personality and make you feel special to have them.\\nSome kids may be nice to you one second and mean to you the next. These kids are not really your 'best mates'. Don’t spend time trying to get on their good side.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Join activities and clubs that interest you.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to get more involved in the community and meet other cool kids who share your interests! Making friends will probably be a little easier since you’ll have something in common from the get-go.\\nFor example, if you love drawing, consider joining your school’s art club. You can meet other kids that love art while creating some sweet paintings.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Talk to a trusted adult if you’re having a hard time making friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re having trouble making friends, you’re not alone, and you’re not weird! Tons of kids have a hard time with this. However, if you’re feeling especially lonely or upset, talk to a trusted adult, like a parent or a school guidance counselor, to get a little extra support.\\nYou might be embarrassed to tell an adult that you’re having a tough time making friends, but they won’t judge you! Be honest and say something like, “I’m feeling kind of lonely lately. I think I need help making some new friends.”\\nRemember—school counselors are there to help and support you!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Friendly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give friendly greetings.\", \"描述\": \"When you see people, say hello in a friendly voice and offer a smile! Make eye contact, too. A warm greeting shows other kids that you’re a positive, kind person.\\nIf you’re shy, you may mumble or look away when people greet you. This can make it seem like you’re uninterested, so do your best to give back the warmest greeting that you can.\\nTry to use the person’s name when you greet them. It’ll make your greeting even friendlier.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say nice things to others.\", \"描述\": \"Saying nice things to others can make you more likeable. However, don’t go overboard showering your classmates with praise. Make sure that you mean the nice things you say.\\nIf you notice that one of your classmates came to school with a really cool hairstyle, you could compliment them and tell them how you like it.\\nIf the art kid drew a super neat tree in art class, tell him how much you admire his art skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share with others.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve probably heard about the importance of sharing since kindergarten, but did you know that it can boost your popularity? Of course, you shouldn't give away all your possessions, but sharing a few things now and then with your classmates can make them like you more.\\nIf you have an extra bit of chocolate at lunch, offer it to the kids at your table.\\nLend one of your colouring pens to a classmate who wants to decorate their notebook.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help others when they need it.\", \"描述\": \"It’ll show you’re generous and kind, possibly boosting your popularity. Plus, it can be a chance to show off some of your talents.\\nIf you’re a math whiz, offer to help out a classmate who’s having a hard time finishing the worksheet in class.\\nIf you see some unfortunate kid drop all their notebooks in the hall, help them gather everything up.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be kind to everyone, not just the popular kids.\", \"描述\": \"You might want to focus on getting in with the popular kids, but to be the good kind of popular, you need to be nice to everyone.\\nRemember, mean words and gossip on others are not the way to become popular. You want your popularity to be based on admiration, not on fear.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having Great Conversations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a conversation by talking about your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"Having great conversations is an important part of being popular, so start as many as you can! Striking up a conversation might seem kind of hard, but here’s a trick: just start by talking about something going on around you.\\nIf you’re in the cafeteria, you could turn to the person behind you and comment on the creepy-looking green bean mash.\\nIf your class just had a killer homework assignment, you could start a conversation by saying, “Wow, that assignment took me FOREVER. Was it the same deal for you?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about likes and dislikes.\", \"描述\": \"Trading likes and dislikes is a great way to get to know someone and have a fun conversation. Talk about something you like, and ask their opinion.\\nYou might say, “I’m obsessed with tigers--they’re so fierce and strong! What’s your favorite animal?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions for a more interesting conversation.\", \"描述\": \"To have a great conversation that’ll leave the person thinking you’re awesome, you should ask them questions. No one likes a conversation hog. Asking questions shows the other person you’re interested in them and gets them talking.\\nTry to ask open-ended questions, which are questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.\\nIf the other person is talking about how they love to skateboard, you might say, “That’s so cool--I’ve always wanted to try skateboarding! How did you start?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find things you have in common.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about shared interests can make for a fantastic conversation. Try to find something that you and the other person have in common, and get chatting!\\nIf you’re both in music club, you can bond over your love of singing.\\nEven if someone is really different from you, you could still have things in common. For example, almost everyone loves food! You just might share a love for sour gummy worms.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"People will change a lot in 4th and 5th grade. Classmates will start to change, people will get crushes and so on.\\n\", \"Don't ditch your old friends for ones you think are more \\\"popular.\\\"\\n\", \"No one likes a show-off, so don’t brag.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,048 | How to Be Popular in High School | 1. Being Social
1-1. Don't be fake.
There's nothing worse than being fake because then your "friends" won't like you for you. Have the confidence to know that you're an amazing person who has a lot to offer, and you'll be more likely to attract a diverse group of interesting people. Don't tell people what you think they want to hear just to make them like you and avoid bragging just to make yourself sound cool. People will be able to tell if you're just trying to impress them or suck up to them, and you'll be less likely to make friends with them. Instead, slowly open up and let people know about who you are and the things that really matter to you. Also if you are fake chances are that people will notice and they will talk making this even harder for you.
If you only become popular by trying to be someone you're not, then where's the fun in it? You don't want to keep up a charade forever, do you?
Remember that if you have to completely change who you are to get people to like you, then it probably isn't worth it.
1-2. Be genuinely nice.
Nobody likes a stuck up person. Smile to the people you know in the hallways. Don't act like you're better than them; arrogance is a huge turn off. If someone mentions you, you want them to talk about your good side, not your bad side. However, don't overdo it or they'll just start using you. You may think that you have to act like one of the Mean Girls to be popular, but in reality, this won't get you very far.
To be truly nice, you should be polite and have good manners. This means holding doors for people, saying hello to people you know, making room for people walking in the halls, and being friendly even if you're in a bad mood.
This doesn't mean you have to put on that false cheery persona you can sometimes see from adults; it just means that you should be kind to people, regardless of how popular you think they are.
There's nothing worse than a person who is only nice to popular people or people who he thinks can get him somewhere. If you're mean to the people "below" you and nice to the people "above" you, then people will be on to you pretty soon.
1-3. Stand up for yourself when you need to.
If you want to make genuine friends, then you can't let people walk all over you. If you stick to your guns and know when to defend yourself, you'll actually gain respect and will be more likely to make more friends and to gain popularity. If you're nice to people just because you want them to like you, you won't get very far and you won't be respected.
If someone is being mean to you, making you feel bad about yourself, and just generally putting you down for no reason, you shouldn't have to take it. Let the person know that his or her actions are unacceptable.
You don't have to stoop down to a person's level just because the person is being mean to you. You can tell someone to stop what he or she is doing without calling names or being mean in return. Remember that you're better than that.
1-4. Be open to meeting new people.
If you're friendly and are always going up to new people and making small talk with them, you'll be on your way to easily making friends. You should be excited to get to know new people, no matter what crowd they're in or what grade they're in. Of course, you should take it slow and not bombard new people, or people who look busy, but if you find an opportunity to talk to someone new, like if you're at your locker by yourself with another person at his locker standing next to you, then you should take it.
When you're talking to new people, you should take things easy, talking about your classes, your hobbies, or what music you like. Ask the person a few easy questions to show that you care. You can talk about the serious stuff later, when you get to know each other better.
1-5. Be interested in other people.
The key to being truly social and popular is not to talk about yourself all the time or to brag, but to show a real interest in other people. As the saying goes, you should be interested, not interesting. People will like you a lot more if you ask them questions and show that you care about them than if you try to show off. The next time you talk to someone, smile, ask questions about the person's day, make eye contact, and show that you really do care. This doesn't mean you should fake it, but that you should make an effort to make people feel like they are cared for. Here are some things you can do:
Ask the person about how his weekend went.
Ask people about something new to be shared.
Ask about their likes and dislikes.
Ask about the person's extra-curricular activities
Compliment something the person is wearing
Ask about something the person mentioned last time
Find a balance between talking about yourself and the other person
1-6. Don't act like you're too cool to care.
Sure, high school is a time when many people act like they are literally too cool for school. They may wear too much eyeliner, hunch over in class, show up late, or shrug when their teachers reprimand them. However, this should not be the way you approach high school. Embrace the fact that it's okay to care, and that you should try to go after the things that matter to you instead of worrying that you'll come off like a dork. If you really like English class, get excited about talking about your favorite book; if you love being on the tennis team, tell your friends about your upcoming match.
Talking about the things that make you happy will make you a more exciting, engaging person. Give your opinions too. Agreeing with the opposite person and simply nodding to whatever they say will make you look very boring. Try to be a conversation starter and know when to listen and when to answer back to people.
1-7. Make small talk with new people.
Small talk is a skill that many high school students lack, and if you know how to make small talk, you'll up your social game and will be on your way to being more popular. To make small talk, you just have to be able to chat with people about anything at all when you see them in the halls, without getting nervous or running out of things to say. Just relax, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing, and make the other person comfortable as you engage in a quick conversation in the halls or before class starts. Here are some things you can do when you make small talk:
Talk about the class you just came from or were going to.
Ask the person about his or her weekend.
Talk about anything coming up in school, such as the fall dance or football game, and ask if the person is going.
Chat about something in your environment, such as a flyer for the pep rally, or a shirt the person is wearing with the name of your favorite college on it.
1-8. Smile at people.
You may think that the last thing you want to do in high school is to smile at anyone, because smiling is just so uncool, but you should change your attitude if you want to be more social and get on your way to being more popular. Smiling will make you more approachable, will make more people notice you, and will make more people likely to feel welcome in your presence. It's a big part of being friendly. You don't have to smile at absolutely everyone in your school, but if you walk by someone in the halls, take a chance and give that person a little smile, even if you don't know him or her.
Let's face it. People in high school tend to be judgmental, and are likely to think that someone is mean or rude for no reason. If you smile more, people will be much more likely to think you're a welcoming, open person.
2. Getting Noticed
2-1. Dress well
You don't need the most trendy or expensive clothes to be popular, but you do need to look like you've put some time into your outer appearance. This isn't meant to sound superficial; it's just a fact that people who dress better are taken more seriously and are treated with more respect than people who maintain a sloppy appearance, whether they are at a job interview or meeting people at a party. Wear clothes that fit you, that are free of wrinkles, and that are clean, and people will be more likely to notice you.
Your clothes can be a little loose or a little tight, depending on the look you're going for. But if your pants are obviously the wrong size, you may ask yourself if the statement is worth making.
Just a few nice accessories, such as a pair of silver earrings or a nice watch, can help tie your outfit together.
Don't worry about having five or ten completely new outfits. It's better to own fewer nice items of a higher quality. One really nice pair of jeans can serve you better than three cheap pairs of jeans.
2-2. Maintain good hygiene.
Take a shower, shave, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, and keep your body and hair nice and clean. Though smelling fresh and clean is important, you should make sure not to load up on too much perfume or cologne or it'll be just as bad as if you don't bathe at all. Taking the time to have good hygiene shows that you respect and care for yourself.
You should come to school fresh and showered. Bring deodorant to gym class and make sure that you're always as clean as you can be.
2-3. Make good decisions.
Don't drink, smoke, run away, or sneak out. Bad choices can damage your life before it starts, and this will not make you popular. You may think that you will get noticed if you act rebellious or break some rules, and you really will get noticed, but not for long, and not for the reasons you want people to recognize you for. There's a difference between being popular for being well-rounded and friendly and developing a bad reputation.
It's easier to make good decisions when you surround yourself with people who have good heads on their shoulders. If you fall prey to bad influences, you'll be more likely to make bad decisions yourself.
If you're at a party, avoid drinking, jumping off high surfaces, or doing anything else that is ill-advised just to show off. The attention you get for these antics won't last.
2-4. Wow people with your confidence.
If you're happy with who you are, what you do, and what you look like, people will be able to tell from a mile away. Smile at people and don't be afraid to say hi to them or to strike up a conversation. Walk with your head high and have positive body language, good posture, and a friendly energy whenever people notice you. This will make people want to get to know you and will make them interested in who you are.
Developing true confidence can take years. You can aim to get yourself there if you work on doing the things you really love and excelling at something, so you feel happier and prouder of yourself throughout your day.
You should also make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Consult it often, especially if you're feeling down.
You can also work to change the things you want to change about yourself. Don't think that you have to be the way you are; you have control over your destiny.
Another way to up your confidence is to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the friends who are always putting you down.
2-5. Do not make fun of or bully others because you think it will make you popular.
Even though you might think that it will help boost your popularity, people will think badly of you. Do not do it, since it is not fair to become popular at another person's expense! Plus, bullies may be feared, but they are rarely popular. You don't want to develop a reputation for being a jerk.
People who are truly popular don't bother putting people down, because they're confident enough in who they are and don't see the need to be mean.
2-6. Don't neglect your studies.
Remember to focus on your studies even if you're trying to become more popular. Your grades are way more important than your social status. If you do well in school, you will be noticed for being a good student, and will have more opportunities to meet more people. Sure, you don't want to look like a nerd, but if you're proud of how hard you work, other people will appreciate you.
Remember that, in the scheme of things, while being popular in high school may be fun for a while, when you look back on your high school years, you will regret not studying as hard as you could have much more than not trying harder to be popular.
2-7. Make fitness a priority.
Whether you're hitting the gym or excelling in a school sport, exercising will not only make you look good, but it will make you feel good about yourself. And if you feel good about who you are, then more people will notice you as an awesome, confident person who is worth getting to know. Though exercise alone won't help you win any friends, it can contribute to a lifestyle that will lead you to be more popular.
Making fitness a priority will also lead you to meet more people and to have more friends, whether you're on a school team, in a rec league, or just taking classes at your local gym.
2-8. Always look like you're having a great time.
Another way to get noticed is to let people see that you're able to have a good time no matter where you are. Whether you're walking in the halls, at a party, or getting lunch in the cafeteria line, you should look like you're enjoying yourself. You don't have to laugh wildly in math class, but you should work on giving off a positive vibe and letting people see that you're happy with who you are and what you're doing. If you're talking to your friends, really engage in the conversation instead of looking around to see if there are more popular people to talk to. If you're having too much of a great time to care what people think, then they'll be more likely to want to talk to you.
If you're always laughing, feeling good, and happy with what you're doing, you're more likely to attract friends.
Of course, this doesn't mean you should fake it if you're having a genuinely crummy day, but that it doesn't hurt to really enjoy yourself if you have the opportunity.
It's okay to complain if you really want to, but you don't want to get a reputation for being a negative person.
2-9. Be okay with doing your own thing.
Though being social, being involved, and being friendly are sure-fire ways to become more popular, you should also be comfortable with being independent and doing what you want to do. If you want to wear something no one in your school has ever worn before, listen to completely different music from your friends, or try an activity your school doesn't offer, such as yoga or archery, then you shouldn't be reluctant about it just because no one else is doing it. Being independent will help you get noticed for a simple reason — because you'll stand out.
This doesn't mean that you should be different just for the sake of being different, but because you truly want to do something different. You don't want to look like a poser if you're trying something "alternative" just to get attention.
2-10. Don't try too hard.
Though there are many things you can do to up your social game and to stand out more to your peers, you should be careful about looking like you're trying too hard. In high school, people are particularly sensitive about this, so you should avoid making it seem like you are willing to do anything to be popular. This means that you shouldn't try too hard to talk to the popular kids if they aren't interested and that you shouldn't butt into conversations where you aren't welcome. You should also avoid trying to copy the looks of more popular people, because they will be on to your tricks.
Trying to make new friends is a great way to put yourself out there and to be more popular. However, you should be on the lookout and know when people aren't looking to make friends. You don't want to risk embarrassing yourself by coming on too strong.
The same goes for attracting people of the opposite sex. While snagging your crush will make you feel great, you should take things slow and get a sense of the other person's feelings before you move forward.
3. Getting Involved
3-1. Join extracurricular activities.
Whether you're into basketball, cheerleading, French club, or band, joining a few extracurricular activities can help you become more popular simply because you'll get to know a wider variety of people. If you only get to know the people in your classes, you'll be missing out on a wide variety of amazing people from your school. You'll also find it easier to connect with people who share your interests, so you'll be more likely to make friends.
Remember that, to be popular, people have to actually know who you are — what better way is there to get your name out there than to get involved in extracurricular activities?
Finding the right extracurricular activity for you can also help you find a new passion, explore new hobbies, and maybe even to get inspired to follow a new career path.
Find new ways to connect with people.
3-2. Get to know the people in your classes.
Though it's important to be a good student, you should still be able to find time to relax and make a few friends in your classes. Whether you're chatting it up with your lab partner or the person who sits behind you in Algebra II, you should make an effort to get to know the people in your classes —without disrupting your learning, of course!
You may end up finding a new best friend after working on a school project or putting together a lab report with a new classmate. Don't think that you can only find friends after school hours.
People in your classes may also be excited to meet new people, because people don't always end up in class with people they already know since class assignments are random.
If you have a lunch period and don't have any friends during the same period, try sitting with a new group of people, that way, you can make new friends and get to know them better.
3-3. Get involved in your community.
Another way to be involved is to do something in your community. Whether you're volunteering at a soup kitchen or playing softball in a rec league, doing something that is community-based will help you get to know more people and to become experienced with talking to a wider variety of people. You may also meet some people from school who are doing the same thing, and this will help you make more friends from school or your neighborhood.
Not only will getting involved in your community make you meet more people, but volunteering and doing something useful will build your confidence, which will make it easier for you to meet new people. It's a win-win situation.
3-4. Maintain a variety of interests.
If you want to be popular, then you have to work on doing many different things with yourself; if you only play baseball or only work for the school paper, then you will miss out on getting to know so many interesting people. Though you shouldn't spread yourself too thin, you should engage in at least two or three activities that are likely to expose you to new people; if you stick to one interest only, then you'll just be friends with the same five people. Work on finding multiple things that interest you, so that you can make friends with a variety of interesting people.
Part of being popular just means that people know who you are when you walk down the halls. Involving yourself in a diverse range of activities can help you get this done.
3-5. Support others, and take an interest in what they're doing.
Go to the theater performance and remember to congratulate cast and crew members individually afterward, even calling out specific things you loved. Go to sports games, and cheer loudly from the stands. Go to orchestra performances, art shows, even the spelling bee to support your friends and the rest of the school. And let the people involved know you loved it!
3-6. Put yourself out there.
If you aren't afraid to take risks and to put yourself out there during and after school, you'll be more likely to get yourself known. Sign up for your school's talent show. When a visiting guest speaker comes to school, volunteer to come up on stage. Help a student out with his homework after school. Spend your study hall volunteering at the school library. If you're only focused on doing the thing you have to do instead of finding new things to do, then you'll be less likely to be popular.
If you're really shy, then you don't have to put yourself out there in a big, showy way. You can find small ways to make a difference, such as tabling for a club or making an announcement for your sports team in your homeroom.
Tips
Be friends with the ones who love you for who you are and who will always be at your side when you need them.[3]
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Don't lie or you'll get marked off as a poser. A lie will always come back and get you. Having integrity and morals will set you ahead to be trusted and respected.
Make sure you are appealing in photos (that doesn't mean undress for them!). Smile during photographs, even if you are looking away. And make sure you can laugh during a photo while still looking mildly approachable.
Warnings
Don't become friends with people that you know are backstabbers. They could always betray you.
Don't show off so much or people will think of you in a bad way.
Don't be caught up trying to be with the "in-crowd" if it really isn't you. Work on pursuing your own dreams, be nice to people, and you will make friends regardless of your current social status. Otherwise, you will just look like a wannabe!
Don't gossip about other people because in the end it will come back to you!
If ANYONE in the popular crowd tries to tempt you into doing drugs, back out IMMEDIATELY. Better to be unpopular than to be lead down that road![4]
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| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Social\\n1-1. Don't be fake.\\nThere's nothing worse than being fake because then your \\\"friends\\\" won't like you for you. Have the confidence to know that you're an amazing person who has a lot to offer, and you'll be more likely to attract a diverse group of interesting people. Don't tell people what you think they want to hear just to make them like you and avoid bragging just to make yourself sound cool. People will be able to tell if you're just trying to impress them or suck up to them, and you'll be less likely to make friends with them. Instead, slowly open up and let people know about who you are and the things that really matter to you. Also if you are fake chances are that people will notice and they will talk making this even harder for you.\\nIf you only become popular by trying to be someone you're not, then where's the fun in it? You don't want to keep up a charade forever, do you?\\nRemember that if you have to completely change who you are to get people to like you, then it probably isn't worth it.\\n1-2. Be genuinely nice.\\nNobody likes a stuck up person. Smile to the people you know in the hallways. Don't act like you're better than them; arrogance is a huge turn off. If someone mentions you, you want them to talk about your good side, not your bad side. However, don't overdo it or they'll just start using you. You may think that you have to act like one of the Mean Girls to be popular, but in reality, this won't get you very far.\\nTo be truly nice, you should be polite and have good manners. This means holding doors for people, saying hello to people you know, making room for people walking in the halls, and being friendly even if you're in a bad mood.\\nThis doesn't mean you have to put on that false cheery persona you can sometimes see from adults; it just means that you should be kind to people, regardless of how popular you think they are.\\nThere's nothing worse than a person who is only nice to popular people or people who he thinks can get him somewhere. If you're mean to the people \\\"below\\\" you and nice to the people \\\"above\\\" you, then people will be on to you pretty soon.\\n1-3. Stand up for yourself when you need to.\\nIf you want to make genuine friends, then you can't let people walk all over you. If you stick to your guns and know when to defend yourself, you'll actually gain respect and will be more likely to make more friends and to gain popularity. If you're nice to people just because you want them to like you, you won't get very far and you won't be respected.\\nIf someone is being mean to you, making you feel bad about yourself, and just generally putting you down for no reason, you shouldn't have to take it. Let the person know that his or her actions are unacceptable.\\nYou don't have to stoop down to a person's level just because the person is being mean to you. You can tell someone to stop what he or she is doing without calling names or being mean in return. Remember that you're better than that.\\n1-4. Be open to meeting new people.\\nIf you're friendly and are always going up to new people and making small talk with them, you'll be on your way to easily making friends. You should be excited to get to know new people, no matter what crowd they're in or what grade they're in. Of course, you should take it slow and not bombard new people, or people who look busy, but if you find an opportunity to talk to someone new, like if you're at your locker by yourself with another person at his locker standing next to you, then you should take it.\\nWhen you're talking to new people, you should take things easy, talking about your classes, your hobbies, or what music you like. Ask the person a few easy questions to show that you care. You can talk about the serious stuff later, when you get to know each other better.\\n1-5. Be interested in other people.\\nThe key to being truly social and popular is not to talk about yourself all the time or to brag, but to show a real interest in other people. As the saying goes, you should be interested, not interesting. People will like you a lot more if you ask them questions and show that you care about them than if you try to show off. The next time you talk to someone, smile, ask questions about the person's day, make eye contact, and show that you really do care. This doesn't mean you should fake it, but that you should make an effort to make people feel like they are cared for. Here are some things you can do:\\nAsk the person about how his weekend went.\\nAsk people about something new to be shared.\\nAsk about their likes and dislikes.\\nAsk about the person's extra-curricular activities\\nCompliment something the person is wearing\\nAsk about something the person mentioned last time\\nFind a balance between talking about yourself and the other person\\n1-6. Don't act like you're too cool to care.\\nSure, high school is a time when many people act like they are literally too cool for school. They may wear too much eyeliner, hunch over in class, show up late, or shrug when their teachers reprimand them. However, this should not be the way you approach high school. Embrace the fact that it's okay to care, and that you should try to go after the things that matter to you instead of worrying that you'll come off like a dork. If you really like English class, get excited about talking about your favorite book; if you love being on the tennis team, tell your friends about your upcoming match.\\nTalking about the things that make you happy will make you a more exciting, engaging person. Give your opinions too. Agreeing with the opposite person and simply nodding to whatever they say will make you look very boring. Try to be a conversation starter and know when to listen and when to answer back to people.\\n1-7. Make small talk with new people.\\nSmall talk is a skill that many high school students lack, and if you know how to make small talk, you'll up your social game and will be on your way to being more popular. To make small talk, you just have to be able to chat with people about anything at all when you see them in the halls, without getting nervous or running out of things to say. Just relax, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing, and make the other person comfortable as you engage in a quick conversation in the halls or before class starts. Here are some things you can do when you make small talk:\\nTalk about the class you just came from or were going to.\\nAsk the person about his or her weekend.\\nTalk about anything coming up in school, such as the fall dance or football game, and ask if the person is going.\\nChat about something in your environment, such as a flyer for the pep rally, or a shirt the person is wearing with the name of your favorite college on it.\\n1-8. Smile at people.\\nYou may think that the last thing you want to do in high school is to smile at anyone, because smiling is just so uncool, but you should change your attitude if you want to be more social and get on your way to being more popular. Smiling will make you more approachable, will make more people notice you, and will make more people likely to feel welcome in your presence. It's a big part of being friendly. You don't have to smile at absolutely everyone in your school, but if you walk by someone in the halls, take a chance and give that person a little smile, even if you don't know him or her.\\nLet's face it. People in high school tend to be judgmental, and are likely to think that someone is mean or rude for no reason. If you smile more, people will be much more likely to think you're a welcoming, open person.\\n2. Getting Noticed\\n2-1. Dress well\\nYou don't need the most trendy or expensive clothes to be popular, but you do need to look like you've put some time into your outer appearance. This isn't meant to sound superficial; it's just a fact that people who dress better are taken more seriously and are treated with more respect than people who maintain a sloppy appearance, whether they are at a job interview or meeting people at a party. Wear clothes that fit you, that are free of wrinkles, and that are clean, and people will be more likely to notice you.\\nYour clothes can be a little loose or a little tight, depending on the look you're going for. But if your pants are obviously the wrong size, you may ask yourself if the statement is worth making.\\nJust a few nice accessories, such as a pair of silver earrings or a nice watch, can help tie your outfit together.\\nDon't worry about having five or ten completely new outfits. It's better to own fewer nice items of a higher quality. One really nice pair of jeans can serve you better than three cheap pairs of jeans.\\n2-2. Maintain good hygiene.\\nTake a shower, shave, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, and keep your body and hair nice and clean. Though smelling fresh and clean is important, you should make sure not to load up on too much perfume or cologne or it'll be just as bad as if you don't bathe at all. Taking the time to have good hygiene shows that you respect and care for yourself.\\nYou should come to school fresh and showered. Bring deodorant to gym class and make sure that you're always as clean as you can be.\\n2-3. Make good decisions.\\nDon't drink, smoke, run away, or sneak out. Bad choices can damage your life before it starts, and this will not make you popular. You may think that you will get noticed if you act rebellious or break some rules, and you really will get noticed, but not for long, and not for the reasons you want people to recognize you for. There's a difference between being popular for being well-rounded and friendly and developing a bad reputation.\\nIt's easier to make good decisions when you surround yourself with people who have good heads on their shoulders. If you fall prey to bad influences, you'll be more likely to make bad decisions yourself.\\nIf you're at a party, avoid drinking, jumping off high surfaces, or doing anything else that is ill-advised just to show off. The attention you get for these antics won't last.\\n2-4. Wow people with your confidence.\\nIf you're happy with who you are, what you do, and what you look like, people will be able to tell from a mile away. Smile at people and don't be afraid to say hi to them or to strike up a conversation. Walk with your head high and have positive body language, good posture, and a friendly energy whenever people notice you. This will make people want to get to know you and will make them interested in who you are.\\nDeveloping true confidence can take years. You can aim to get yourself there if you work on doing the things you really love and excelling at something, so you feel happier and prouder of yourself throughout your day.\\nYou should also make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Consult it often, especially if you're feeling down.\\nYou can also work to change the things you want to change about yourself. Don't think that you have to be the way you are; you have control over your destiny.\\nAnother way to up your confidence is to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the friends who are always putting you down.\\n2-5. Do not make fun of or bully others because you think it will make you popular.\\nEven though you might think that it will help boost your popularity, people will think badly of you. Do not do it, since it is not fair to become popular at another person's expense! Plus, bullies may be feared, but they are rarely popular. You don't want to develop a reputation for being a jerk.\\nPeople who are truly popular don't bother putting people down, because they're confident enough in who they are and don't see the need to be mean.\\n2-6. Don't neglect your studies.\\nRemember to focus on your studies even if you're trying to become more popular. Your grades are way more important than your social status. If you do well in school, you will be noticed for being a good student, and will have more opportunities to meet more people. Sure, you don't want to look like a nerd, but if you're proud of how hard you work, other people will appreciate you.\\nRemember that, in the scheme of things, while being popular in high school may be fun for a while, when you look back on your high school years, you will regret not studying as hard as you could have much more than not trying harder to be popular.\\n2-7. Make fitness a priority.\\nWhether you're hitting the gym or excelling in a school sport, exercising will not only make you look good, but it will make you feel good about yourself. And if you feel good about who you are, then more people will notice you as an awesome, confident person who is worth getting to know. Though exercise alone won't help you win any friends, it can contribute to a lifestyle that will lead you to be more popular.\\nMaking fitness a priority will also lead you to meet more people and to have more friends, whether you're on a school team, in a rec league, or just taking classes at your local gym.\\n2-8. Always look like you're having a great time.\\nAnother way to get noticed is to let people see that you're able to have a good time no matter where you are. Whether you're walking in the halls, at a party, or getting lunch in the cafeteria line, you should look like you're enjoying yourself. You don't have to laugh wildly in math class, but you should work on giving off a positive vibe and letting people see that you're happy with who you are and what you're doing. If you're talking to your friends, really engage in the conversation instead of looking around to see if there are more popular people to talk to. If you're having too much of a great time to care what people think, then they'll be more likely to want to talk to you.\\nIf you're always laughing, feeling good, and happy with what you're doing, you're more likely to attract friends.\\nOf course, this doesn't mean you should fake it if you're having a genuinely crummy day, but that it doesn't hurt to really enjoy yourself if you have the opportunity.\\nIt's okay to complain if you really want to, but you don't want to get a reputation for being a negative person.\\n2-9. Be okay with doing your own thing.\\nThough being social, being involved, and being friendly are sure-fire ways to become more popular, you should also be comfortable with being independent and doing what you want to do. If you want to wear something no one in your school has ever worn before, listen to completely different music from your friends, or try an activity your school doesn't offer, such as yoga or archery, then you shouldn't be reluctant about it just because no one else is doing it. Being independent will help you get noticed for a simple reason — because you'll stand out.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should be different just for the sake of being different, but because you truly want to do something different. You don't want to look like a poser if you're trying something \\\"alternative\\\" just to get attention.\\n2-10. Don't try too hard.\\nThough there are many things you can do to up your social game and to stand out more to your peers, you should be careful about looking like you're trying too hard. In high school, people are particularly sensitive about this, so you should avoid making it seem like you are willing to do anything to be popular. This means that you shouldn't try too hard to talk to the popular kids if they aren't interested and that you shouldn't butt into conversations where you aren't welcome. You should also avoid trying to copy the looks of more popular people, because they will be on to your tricks.\\nTrying to make new friends is a great way to put yourself out there and to be more popular. However, you should be on the lookout and know when people aren't looking to make friends. You don't want to risk embarrassing yourself by coming on too strong.\\nThe same goes for attracting people of the opposite sex. While snagging your crush will make you feel great, you should take things slow and get a sense of the other person's feelings before you move forward.\\n3. Getting Involved\\n3-1. Join extracurricular activities.\\nWhether you're into basketball, cheerleading, French club, or band, joining a few extracurricular activities can help you become more popular simply because you'll get to know a wider variety of people. If you only get to know the people in your classes, you'll be missing out on a wide variety of amazing people from your school. You'll also find it easier to connect with people who share your interests, so you'll be more likely to make friends.\\nRemember that, to be popular, people have to actually know who you are — what better way is there to get your name out there than to get involved in extracurricular activities?\\nFinding the right extracurricular activity for you can also help you find a new passion, explore new hobbies, and maybe even to get inspired to follow a new career path.\\nFind new ways to connect with people.\\n3-2. Get to know the people in your classes.\\nThough it's important to be a good student, you should still be able to find time to relax and make a few friends in your classes. Whether you're chatting it up with your lab partner or the person who sits behind you in Algebra II, you should make an effort to get to know the people in your classes —without disrupting your learning, of course!\\nYou may end up finding a new best friend after working on a school project or putting together a lab report with a new classmate. Don't think that you can only find friends after school hours.\\nPeople in your classes may also be excited to meet new people, because people don't always end up in class with people they already know since class assignments are random.\\nIf you have a lunch period and don't have any friends during the same period, try sitting with a new group of people, that way, you can make new friends and get to know them better.\\n3-3. Get involved in your community.\\nAnother way to be involved is to do something in your community. Whether you're volunteering at a soup kitchen or playing softball in a rec league, doing something that is community-based will help you get to know more people and to become experienced with talking to a wider variety of people. You may also meet some people from school who are doing the same thing, and this will help you make more friends from school or your neighborhood.\\nNot only will getting involved in your community make you meet more people, but volunteering and doing something useful will build your confidence, which will make it easier for you to meet new people. It's a win-win situation.\\n3-4. Maintain a variety of interests.\\nIf you want to be popular, then you have to work on doing many different things with yourself; if you only play baseball or only work for the school paper, then you will miss out on getting to know so many interesting people. Though you shouldn't spread yourself too thin, you should engage in at least two or three activities that are likely to expose you to new people; if you stick to one interest only, then you'll just be friends with the same five people. Work on finding multiple things that interest you, so that you can make friends with a variety of interesting people.\\nPart of being popular just means that people know who you are when you walk down the halls. Involving yourself in a diverse range of activities can help you get this done.\\n3-5. Support others, and take an interest in what they're doing.\\nGo to the theater performance and remember to congratulate cast and crew members individually afterward, even calling out specific things you loved. Go to sports games, and cheer loudly from the stands. Go to orchestra performances, art shows, even the spelling bee to support your friends and the rest of the school. And let the people involved know you loved it!\\n3-6. Put yourself out there.\\nIf you aren't afraid to take risks and to put yourself out there during and after school, you'll be more likely to get yourself known. Sign up for your school's talent show. When a visiting guest speaker comes to school, volunteer to come up on stage. Help a student out with his homework after school. Spend your study hall volunteering at the school library. If you're only focused on doing the thing you have to do instead of finding new things to do, then you'll be less likely to be popular.\\nIf you're really shy, then you don't have to put yourself out there in a big, showy way. You can find small ways to make a difference, such as tabling for a club or making an announcement for your sports team in your homeroom.\\nTips\\nBe friends with the ones who love you for who you are and who will always be at your side when you need them.[3]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't lie or you'll get marked off as a poser. A lie will always come back and get you. Having integrity and morals will set you ahead to be trusted and respected.\\nMake sure you are appealing in photos (that doesn't mean undress for them!). Smile during photographs, even if you are looking away. And make sure you can laugh during a photo while still looking mildly approachable.\\nWarnings\\nDon't become friends with people that you know are backstabbers. They could always betray you.\\nDon't show off so much or people will think of you in a bad way.\\nDon't be caught up trying to be with the \\\"in-crowd\\\" if it really isn't you. Work on pursuing your own dreams, be nice to people, and you will make friends regardless of your current social status. Otherwise, you will just look like a wannabe!\\nDon't gossip about other people because in the end it will come back to you!\\nIf ANYONE in the popular crowd tries to tempt you into doing drugs, back out IMMEDIATELY. Better to be unpopular than to be lead down that road![4]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Navigating the social world of high school can be an intimidating experience, but you shouldn't let it get you down. If you learn to love the person you really are, as well as how to make other people comfortable in your presence, then you'll be on your way to being popular in high school in no time. If you want to know how be popular, read on!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Social\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be fake.\", \"描述\": \"There's nothing worse than being fake because then your \\\"friends\\\" won't like you for you. Have the confidence to know that you're an amazing person who has a lot to offer, and you'll be more likely to attract a diverse group of interesting people. Don't tell people what you think they want to hear just to make them like you and avoid bragging just to make yourself sound cool. People will be able to tell if you're just trying to impress them or suck up to them, and you'll be less likely to make friends with them. Instead, slowly open up and let people know about who you are and the things that really matter to you. Also if you are fake chances are that people will notice and they will talk making this even harder for you.\\nIf you only become popular by trying to be someone you're not, then where's the fun in it? You don't want to keep up a charade forever, do you?\\nRemember that if you have to completely change who you are to get people to like you, then it probably isn't worth it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be genuinely nice.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody likes a stuck up person. Smile to the people you know in the hallways. Don't act like you're better than them; arrogance is a huge turn off. If someone mentions you, you want them to talk about your good side, not your bad side. However, don't overdo it or they'll just start using you. You may think that you have to act like one of the Mean Girls to be popular, but in reality, this won't get you very far.\\nTo be truly nice, you should be polite and have good manners. This means holding doors for people, saying hello to people you know, making room for people walking in the halls, and being friendly even if you're in a bad mood.\\nThis doesn't mean you have to put on that false cheery persona you can sometimes see from adults; it just means that you should be kind to people, regardless of how popular you think they are.\\nThere's nothing worse than a person who is only nice to popular people or people who he thinks can get him somewhere. If you're mean to the people \\\"below\\\" you and nice to the people \\\"above\\\" you, then people will be on to you pretty soon.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stand up for yourself when you need to.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to make genuine friends, then you can't let people walk all over you. If you stick to your guns and know when to defend yourself, you'll actually gain respect and will be more likely to make more friends and to gain popularity. If you're nice to people just because you want them to like you, you won't get very far and you won't be respected.\\nIf someone is being mean to you, making you feel bad about yourself, and just generally putting you down for no reason, you shouldn't have to take it. Let the person know that his or her actions are unacceptable.\\nYou don't have to stoop down to a person's level just because the person is being mean to you. You can tell someone to stop what he or she is doing without calling names or being mean in return. Remember that you're better than that.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be open to meeting new people.\", \"描述\": \"If you're friendly and are always going up to new people and making small talk with them, you'll be on your way to easily making friends. You should be excited to get to know new people, no matter what crowd they're in or what grade they're in. Of course, you should take it slow and not bombard new people, or people who look busy, but if you find an opportunity to talk to someone new, like if you're at your locker by yourself with another person at his locker standing next to you, then you should take it.\\nWhen you're talking to new people, you should take things easy, talking about your classes, your hobbies, or what music you like. Ask the person a few easy questions to show that you care. You can talk about the serious stuff later, when you get to know each other better.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be interested in other people.\", \"描述\": \"The key to being truly social and popular is not to talk about yourself all the time or to brag, but to show a real interest in other people. As the saying goes, you should be interested, not interesting. People will like you a lot more if you ask them questions and show that you care about them than if you try to show off. The next time you talk to someone, smile, ask questions about the person's day, make eye contact, and show that you really do care. This doesn't mean you should fake it, but that you should make an effort to make people feel like they are cared for. Here are some things you can do:\\nAsk the person about how his weekend went.\\nAsk people about something new to be shared.\\nAsk about their likes and dislikes.\\nAsk about the person's extra-curricular activities\\nCompliment something the person is wearing\\nAsk about something the person mentioned last time\\nFind a balance between talking about yourself and the other person\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't act like you're too cool to care.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, high school is a time when many people act like they are literally too cool for school. They may wear too much eyeliner, hunch over in class, show up late, or shrug when their teachers reprimand them. However, this should not be the way you approach high school. Embrace the fact that it's okay to care, and that you should try to go after the things that matter to you instead of worrying that you'll come off like a dork. If you really like English class, get excited about talking about your favorite book; if you love being on the tennis team, tell your friends about your upcoming match.\\nTalking about the things that make you happy will make you a more exciting, engaging person. Give your opinions too. Agreeing with the opposite person and simply nodding to whatever they say will make you look very boring. Try to be a conversation starter and know when to listen and when to answer back to people.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make small talk with new people.\", \"描述\": \"Small talk is a skill that many high school students lack, and if you know how to make small talk, you'll up your social game and will be on your way to being more popular. To make small talk, you just have to be able to chat with people about anything at all when you see them in the halls, without getting nervous or running out of things to say. Just relax, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing, and make the other person comfortable as you engage in a quick conversation in the halls or before class starts. Here are some things you can do when you make small talk:\\nTalk about the class you just came from or were going to.\\nAsk the person about his or her weekend.\\nTalk about anything coming up in school, such as the fall dance or football game, and ask if the person is going.\\nChat about something in your environment, such as a flyer for the pep rally, or a shirt the person is wearing with the name of your favorite college on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Smile at people.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that the last thing you want to do in high school is to smile at anyone, because smiling is just so uncool, but you should change your attitude if you want to be more social and get on your way to being more popular. Smiling will make you more approachable, will make more people notice you, and will make more people likely to feel welcome in your presence. It's a big part of being friendly. You don't have to smile at absolutely everyone in your school, but if you walk by someone in the halls, take a chance and give that person a little smile, even if you don't know him or her.\\nLet's face it. People in high school tend to be judgmental, and are likely to think that someone is mean or rude for no reason. If you smile more, people will be much more likely to think you're a welcoming, open person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Noticed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress well\", \"描述\": \"You don't need the most trendy or expensive clothes to be popular, but you do need to look like you've put some time into your outer appearance. This isn't meant to sound superficial; it's just a fact that people who dress better are taken more seriously and are treated with more respect than people who maintain a sloppy appearance, whether they are at a job interview or meeting people at a party. Wear clothes that fit you, that are free of wrinkles, and that are clean, and people will be more likely to notice you.\\nYour clothes can be a little loose or a little tight, depending on the look you're going for. But if your pants are obviously the wrong size, you may ask yourself if the statement is worth making.\\nJust a few nice accessories, such as a pair of silver earrings or a nice watch, can help tie your outfit together.\\nDon't worry about having five or ten completely new outfits. It's better to own fewer nice items of a higher quality. One really nice pair of jeans can serve you better than three cheap pairs of jeans.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Take a shower, shave, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, and keep your body and hair nice and clean. Though smelling fresh and clean is important, you should make sure not to load up on too much perfume or cologne or it'll be just as bad as if you don't bathe at all. Taking the time to have good hygiene shows that you respect and care for yourself.\\nYou should come to school fresh and showered. Bring deodorant to gym class and make sure that you're always as clean as you can be.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make good decisions.\", \"描述\": \"Don't drink, smoke, run away, or sneak out. Bad choices can damage your life before it starts, and this will not make you popular. You may think that you will get noticed if you act rebellious or break some rules, and you really will get noticed, but not for long, and not for the reasons you want people to recognize you for. There's a difference between being popular for being well-rounded and friendly and developing a bad reputation.\\nIt's easier to make good decisions when you surround yourself with people who have good heads on their shoulders. If you fall prey to bad influences, you'll be more likely to make bad decisions yourself.\\nIf you're at a party, avoid drinking, jumping off high surfaces, or doing anything else that is ill-advised just to show off. The attention you get for these antics won't last.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wow people with your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"If you're happy with who you are, what you do, and what you look like, people will be able to tell from a mile away. Smile at people and don't be afraid to say hi to them or to strike up a conversation. Walk with your head high and have positive body language, good posture, and a friendly energy whenever people notice you. This will make people want to get to know you and will make them interested in who you are.\\nDeveloping true confidence can take years. You can aim to get yourself there if you work on doing the things you really love and excelling at something, so you feel happier and prouder of yourself throughout your day.\\nYou should also make a list of all of the things you love about yourself. Consult it often, especially if you're feeling down.\\nYou can also work to change the things you want to change about yourself. Don't think that you have to be the way you are; you have control over your destiny.\\nAnother way to up your confidence is to spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the friends who are always putting you down.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not make fun of or bully others because you think it will make you popular.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you might think that it will help boost your popularity, people will think badly of you. Do not do it, since it is not fair to become popular at another person's expense! Plus, bullies may be feared, but they are rarely popular. You don't want to develop a reputation for being a jerk.\\nPeople who are truly popular don't bother putting people down, because they're confident enough in who they are and don't see the need to be mean.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't neglect your studies.\", \"描述\": \"Remember to focus on your studies even if you're trying to become more popular. Your grades are way more important than your social status. If you do well in school, you will be noticed for being a good student, and will have more opportunities to meet more people. Sure, you don't want to look like a nerd, but if you're proud of how hard you work, other people will appreciate you.\\nRemember that, in the scheme of things, while being popular in high school may be fun for a while, when you look back on your high school years, you will regret not studying as hard as you could have much more than not trying harder to be popular.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make fitness a priority.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're hitting the gym or excelling in a school sport, exercising will not only make you look good, but it will make you feel good about yourself. And if you feel good about who you are, then more people will notice you as an awesome, confident person who is worth getting to know. Though exercise alone won't help you win any friends, it can contribute to a lifestyle that will lead you to be more popular.\\nMaking fitness a priority will also lead you to meet more people and to have more friends, whether you're on a school team, in a rec league, or just taking classes at your local gym.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Always look like you're having a great time.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to get noticed is to let people see that you're able to have a good time no matter where you are. Whether you're walking in the halls, at a party, or getting lunch in the cafeteria line, you should look like you're enjoying yourself. You don't have to laugh wildly in math class, but you should work on giving off a positive vibe and letting people see that you're happy with who you are and what you're doing. If you're talking to your friends, really engage in the conversation instead of looking around to see if there are more popular people to talk to. If you're having too much of a great time to care what people think, then they'll be more likely to want to talk to you.\\nIf you're always laughing, feeling good, and happy with what you're doing, you're more likely to attract friends.\\nOf course, this doesn't mean you should fake it if you're having a genuinely crummy day, but that it doesn't hurt to really enjoy yourself if you have the opportunity.\\nIt's okay to complain if you really want to, but you don't want to get a reputation for being a negative person.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be okay with doing your own thing.\", \"描述\": \"Though being social, being involved, and being friendly are sure-fire ways to become more popular, you should also be comfortable with being independent and doing what you want to do. If you want to wear something no one in your school has ever worn before, listen to completely different music from your friends, or try an activity your school doesn't offer, such as yoga or archery, then you shouldn't be reluctant about it just because no one else is doing it. Being independent will help you get noticed for a simple reason — because you'll stand out.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should be different just for the sake of being different, but because you truly want to do something different. You don't want to look like a poser if you're trying something \\\"alternative\\\" just to get attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Don't try too hard.\", \"描述\": \"Though there are many things you can do to up your social game and to stand out more to your peers, you should be careful about looking like you're trying too hard. In high school, people are particularly sensitive about this, so you should avoid making it seem like you are willing to do anything to be popular. This means that you shouldn't try too hard to talk to the popular kids if they aren't interested and that you shouldn't butt into conversations where you aren't welcome. You should also avoid trying to copy the looks of more popular people, because they will be on to your tricks.\\nTrying to make new friends is a great way to put yourself out there and to be more popular. However, you should be on the lookout and know when people aren't looking to make friends. You don't want to risk embarrassing yourself by coming on too strong.\\nThe same goes for attracting people of the opposite sex. While snagging your crush will make you feel great, you should take things slow and get a sense of the other person's feelings before you move forward.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Join extracurricular activities.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're into basketball, cheerleading, French club, or band, joining a few extracurricular activities can help you become more popular simply because you'll get to know a wider variety of people. If you only get to know the people in your classes, you'll be missing out on a wide variety of amazing people from your school. You'll also find it easier to connect with people who share your interests, so you'll be more likely to make friends.\\nRemember that, to be popular, people have to actually know who you are — what better way is there to get your name out there than to get involved in extracurricular activities?\\nFinding the right extracurricular activity for you can also help you find a new passion, explore new hobbies, and maybe even to get inspired to follow a new career path.\\nFind new ways to connect with people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get to know the people in your classes.\", \"描述\": \"Though it's important to be a good student, you should still be able to find time to relax and make a few friends in your classes. Whether you're chatting it up with your lab partner or the person who sits behind you in Algebra II, you should make an effort to get to know the people in your classes —without disrupting your learning, of course!\\nYou may end up finding a new best friend after working on a school project or putting together a lab report with a new classmate. Don't think that you can only find friends after school hours.\\nPeople in your classes may also be excited to meet new people, because people don't always end up in class with people they already know since class assignments are random.\\nIf you have a lunch period and don't have any friends during the same period, try sitting with a new group of people, that way, you can make new friends and get to know them better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get involved in your community.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be involved is to do something in your community. Whether you're volunteering at a soup kitchen or playing softball in a rec league, doing something that is community-based will help you get to know more people and to become experienced with talking to a wider variety of people. You may also meet some people from school who are doing the same thing, and this will help you make more friends from school or your neighborhood.\\nNot only will getting involved in your community make you meet more people, but volunteering and doing something useful will build your confidence, which will make it easier for you to meet new people. It's a win-win situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a variety of interests.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be popular, then you have to work on doing many different things with yourself; if you only play baseball or only work for the school paper, then you will miss out on getting to know so many interesting people. Though you shouldn't spread yourself too thin, you should engage in at least two or three activities that are likely to expose you to new people; if you stick to one interest only, then you'll just be friends with the same five people. Work on finding multiple things that interest you, so that you can make friends with a variety of interesting people.\\nPart of being popular just means that people know who you are when you walk down the halls. Involving yourself in a diverse range of activities can help you get this done.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Support others, and take an interest in what they're doing.\", \"描述\": \"Go to the theater performance and remember to congratulate cast and crew members individually afterward, even calling out specific things you loved. Go to sports games, and cheer loudly from the stands. Go to orchestra performances, art shows, even the spelling bee to support your friends and the rest of the school. And let the people involved know you loved it!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Put yourself out there.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren't afraid to take risks and to put yourself out there during and after school, you'll be more likely to get yourself known. Sign up for your school's talent show. When a visiting guest speaker comes to school, volunteer to come up on stage. Help a student out with his homework after school. Spend your study hall volunteering at the school library. If you're only focused on doing the thing you have to do instead of finding new things to do, then you'll be less likely to be popular.\\nIf you're really shy, then you don't have to put yourself out there in a big, showy way. You can find small ways to make a difference, such as tabling for a club or making an announcement for your sports team in your homeroom.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be friends with the ones who love you for who you are and who will always be at your side when you need them.[3]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't lie or you'll get marked off as a poser. A lie will always come back and get you. Having integrity and morals will set you ahead to be trusted and respected.\\n\", \"Make sure you are appealing in photos (that doesn't mean undress for them!). Smile during photographs, even if you are looking away. And make sure you can laugh during a photo while still looking mildly approachable.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't become friends with people that you know are backstabbers. They could always betray you.\\n\", \"Don't show off so much or people will think of you in a bad way.\\n\", \"Don't be caught up trying to be with the \\\"in-crowd\\\" if it really isn't you. Work on pursuing your own dreams, be nice to people, and you will make friends regardless of your current social status. Otherwise, you will just look like a wannabe!\\n\", \"Don't gossip about other people because in the end it will come back to you!\\n\", \"If ANYONE in the popular crowd tries to tempt you into doing drugs, back out IMMEDIATELY. Better to be unpopular than to be lead down that road![4]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,049 | How to Be Popular in Middle School | 1. Getting Noticed
1-1. Put yourself out there.
One of the largest keys to being popular is to make people notice you and want to be around you. In order to do that, you have to put yourself out there. If you're always walking around the halls by yourself, dreading your next class, or frowning all the way through gym class, you won’t make a good impression and people will think that it’s a drag to be around you. The secret to making people want to be around you is to let them see you laughing and having a great time so they want to spend time with you too.
When you’re hanging out with friends, make an extra effort and smile and have fun so people know you enjoy your time in school.
Even when you're alone in the halls, smile at people and give off a positive vibe so that people want to get to know you. A smile invites people in and lets them know that they're free to walk past without having to engage in conversation.
1-2. Stand out
Showing up to school in only your bathing suit will certainly make you stand out, but that may not be the kind of attention you want. To stand out in a good way, you have to let people know who you are and think positively of you when your name does come up. Here are some ways to get noticed:
You could be the guy who is always spotted with a guitar – and who actually knows how to play it.
You could have a really great laugh that people can hear from anywhere in the building.
You could stand out for your knockout sense of fashion. You could also rock a unique style, like looking like a hipster chick or a rocker guy, so that everyone knows who you are.
Maybe you have a really low, throaty voice that sounds completely unique. Whatever your quirks are, don't try to hide them. Remember that you want to be noticed for what makes you special.
1-3. Join a team.
Joining a team and playing a sport is not only a great way to get some exercise and feel happier, but it’s also an excellent way to meet new people and make yourself known. You don’t have to be the star of your soccer team to play the sport, just have fun and get a great workout after school. Whether your school has a team or you’re playing an intramural league, make an effort to play at least one sport so you’ll be more likely to meet a variety of interesting people.
You may not end up liking the sport or sticking to it. But if you spend at least a year of middle school pursuing a sport, you’ll be more likely to make friends and open up your social circle.
Playing a sport also teaches you teamwork and how to deal with a variety of different talents and personalities, which can also help you manage people in your daily life and gain the skills that can help you become more popular.
1-4. Join clubs.
Joining clubs will also help you meet people, put yourself out there, and become a more interesting person as you pursue your interests. Pick something you really care about, like debate, French, Model UN, or a variety of other subjects, and stick to it. Become a leader in the club and use your position to improve the club and to get to know a wide variety of people.
Don’t think it’s uncool or nerdy to join a club. You’re just getting a leg up on the people who will be joining clubs in high school when they realize it is cool to be involved.
Joining a club and playing a sport, if you have time for it, will be a great way to meet an even larger variety of people. You may not meet the same people in clubs that you’ll meet on your sports team.
1-5. Have diverse interests.
The more things you do, the more people you know. And the more people you know, the more likely you are to get noticed and for people not to have a blank look on their faces when your name comes up. You should play soccer, be in the drama club, and be a student aide in the library – do whatever you find interesting and use your position to meet new people.
If you only pursue one interest, you’ll only be surrounded by one type of person. The key to truly being popular is being able to please a variety of different people.
1-6. Speak up in class.
You may think it’s not cool to participate or even talk at all in class, and that you’re better off hanging out in the back of the room, looking like you have something better to do. Instead, you should participate in class, and do your homework so you actually look like you know what you’re talking about. You don’t have to be the teacher’s pet or anything, but you should talk enough so that all of the students in the class know who you are and like what you’re saying.
Make sure you don’t come off like a know-it-all when you speak. Be respectful and open-minded when you answer the teacher.
2. Making Lots of Friends
2-1. Be friendly
If you want to be popular, then you have to work on being social, even if you’re on the shy side. You don’t have to give yourself a personality makeover to learn to be friendly to everyone, even if you don’t think that person can help your social status. The worst thing you can be is a social climber who has a reputation for only talking to the people who will make him look more popular. Instead, take the time to be friendly to anyone who comes in your path – it’ll pay off later.
Any time you see someone you know and they don't seem busy, say hi and give that person a big smile or a wave. You don’t have to have a ton in common to be nice to someone.
It’s not cool to be a jerk to someone like the girls on “Mean Girls.” That look may work in a movie, but you’ll get burned long-term if you have a nasty attitude.
Treat people with kindness and respect. Be nice to people and do them favors “just because,” not because you think it’ll make them invite you to their birthday parties.
2-2. Show an interest in people.
If you really want to be popular, then you have to show that you actually care about people, beyond whether or not they like you. You should show an interest in people by taking the time to be friendly, to ask your friends and acquaintances how they’re doing, and to ask them about their interests, families, and goals outside of school.
When you’re talking to people, make sure you ask questions like, “Are you having a good day?” or “Do you have any fun plans for this weekend?” so they know that you actually care about what goes on in their lives.
Work on listening just as much as you talk. If you spend all of your time talking about yourself and all of the cool things you’ve been up to, people will quickly lose interest.
You should also ask people their opinions on a variety of subjects, from the cookies in the school cafeteria to which club you should join. Asking for an opinion shows that you care and value their opinion.
Don't be afraid to have deep conversations, too! If someone's having a rough day, offer them a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
2-3. Try to make friends in different groups.
If you really want to be popular in middle school, then you should be able to make friends with not only the popular kids, but all of the rest of the kids in the school. If you only talk to the same eight people because you think that makes you cool, then you’ll be in trouble in high school, when your new school will be flooded with new people and you barely know a handful of them. Work on being friends with everyone – to the nice girl in your homeroom to the boy whose locker is next to yours.
You don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but you should seek out the people who interest you and who can teach you something without being too obvious about it.
2-4. Master small talk.
There’s nothing small about small talk. Being a master of small talk can help you talk to people and make them feel comfortable before you have a more deep or more fun conversation. To make small talk, just go up to a person, say hi, and start talking about how your days are going. Asking small questions can help lead to a bigger conversation and can make people open up to you. Here are some things you can say if you’re making small talk:
“Did you see World War Z? I thought it was nuts – what did you think?”
“Can you believe how hard that Algebra test was? I spent all weekend studying and still didn’t get half the questions right. How about you – did you do anything more fun than that this weekend?”
“How was your big game? I’m sorry I missed it.”
Make sure to ask questions that can’t just be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” but which give the person room to elaborate. If they can answer the question in one word, it might stop right there and you'll be left wondering what to say.
2-5. Make people laugh
Making people laugh is a key part of being social and of making yourself more popular. If you feel comfortable being the class clown, go for it. If you’d rather impress people with your sharp wit, that’s great too. And if you’re great at teasing people and making them crack up, then that can be your thing. Don’t force humor on people, but work on maximizing your strengths when it comes to making people laugh.
Notice when people laugh the most when you talk to them. Make a mental note of what you did to make them laugh and try something similar again later.
2-6. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Learning to laugh at yourself is an important part of being a fun and social human being and of being more popular. People think that the popular kids think they’re perfect and that they can do no wrong, but it will actually be refreshing if people think that you’re cool without taking yourself too seriously. You don’t have to put yourself down or be insecure to learn to laugh at yourself, but you should joke around about your weaknesses and worries to show people that you’re comfortable with who you are.
Nobody’s perfect. If people see that you can poke fun at yourself during an ordinary conversation, they’ll appreciate you even more.
If you can’t laugh at yourself and are so sensitive that you can’t even take jokes when other people tease you, then people will assume that you’re no fun. And no one wants to be friends with a dud.
3. Being Your Best You
3-1. Put a little effort into your appearance.
You don’t have to be a girl who layers on the makeup or a guy who wears the trendiest shoes or pair of jeans just to be popular and get attention. But you should pay attention to your looks so that your clothes and body are clean, that your face isn't oily, and that people get a positive impression just by looking at you. You'll feel better about yourself if you know you look good, too.
Girls shouldn't wear makeup just because that’s what their friends are doing if that’s not really what they want to do. Natural beauty is far more impressive than beauty that's concocted with eye shadow and lip gloss.
3-2. Be confident
Though you can’t become confident overnight, you can make an effort to become more confident – to be happy with who you are, what you do, and how you look. Work on thinking about your best qualities instead of focusing on your worst attributes, and walk into a room like you’re happy to be there and deserve to be there. You can fake it until you make it. Even if you're not feeling confident, just acting confident will go a long way in making people respect you.
Have confident body language. Stand tall, keep your shoulders out instead of hunching over, and look straight ahead instead of staring at the floor.
Make eye contact when you talk to people. This will show them that you’re not afraid of social interaction.
Don't put yourself down. Being self-deprecating just to get attention or just for something to talk about will make other people think that you don't value yourself.
3-3. Be original
If you want to get noticed, then you have to be original in some way, whether it’s for your unique look or your unique perspective on life. You don't have to "be weird" or do something that doesn’t make you comfortable to be different. Just embrace your quirks and the thoughts and actions that make you special. People will notice you if you’re committed to being an individual instead of following the pack.
Don't dress like everyone else just to fit in. Find a style that suits your personality.
You don’t have to like the same music as everyone else to be popular, either. You'll be more respected if you take the time to find music that you really appreciate and share it with others.
Don't be afraid to voice your opinion in class even if it doesn't fit in with what everyone else is thinking. Your unique mind will make people notice you.
3-4. Excel at something.
Another way to easily get noticed for being awesome and to feel good about yourself is to excel in something, whether it’s being the most insightful girl in your English class, to being the best goalie your middle school has ever seen. Don't think that it's "not cool" to actually care about something, and instead, embrace the things you love and work hard to excel at them. It'll pay off in the future.
Being good at something will not only make people notice you, but it will build your character.
If you immerse yourself in something that you really care about, you'll be less likely to care what people think, and more likely to make new friends in the process.
Excelling at something will also make you a more dynamic person and more fun to talk to, so people will like you even more if you can talk about something that you love doing – as long as you don't brag.
3-5. Stop caring what other people think.
It may feel nearly impossible to stop caring what people think in middle school, when many people spend the majority of their time talking and gossiping about other people and worrying about how they come off. It’s only natural to care what people think when you're still growing, both physically and emotionally, as a person and don’t yet know quite where you belong.
If you recognize that you're not the only person who is feeling insecure or wondering what everyone thinks of you, you’ll be much less likely to care.
Focus on doing the things that make you happy instead of worrying about whether or not people will laugh at you for doing them!
If you spend your life doing whatever you think will make other people like you more, you'll never be satisfied.
When you walk into a room, stand tall and proud instead of checking your reflection every two seconds, fidgeting with your clothes, and wondering what people think of your appearance.
Remember - just because someone is older than you doesn't mean that they have to be nicer. Practicing kindness and compassion at a young age will help to make you a well-respected person by friends and adults alike. In particular, you can always talk to those who are being bullied and help them feel better by including them and being a friend.
3-6. Realize that this is only middle school.
Your popularity doesn't matter to anyone once you reach high school. Actually, people will dislike you the more popular you are from high school on due to the stereotypical actions of "popular people." The fame only lasts until 8th grade, so don't let it bother you. Just be nice and have friends that matter. What's the point of being that person who is so popular but no one likes? It's just middle school, popularity is the easiest of your future conflicts.
In fact, there's a lot of research out there that says it's the unpopular kids in middle school that are the successful adults. If you don't consider yourself popular, realize that it's only going to get better from here – while the rest of the popular kids you know are already at their peak.
Tips
Do not be mean to people, friends, teachers, and adults. Being mean and having a nasty attitude will just make people lower their interest in you. If somebody gives you a cocky comment, answer them calmly, and end it off sassy, but don't insult them, make it sound smart and funny.
When you make one new friend, you often end up meeting more of their friends. Build upon your connections to get to know more people.
See what's in style at your school and put your own spin on it. Add your own creative style, experiment and set trends! No one likes a copycat.
Warnings
Don’t give in to peer pressure, especially when it comes to things like taking drugs and drinking alcohol. Someone who forces you to be like them or do things you know you shouldn't do is not your friend.
Never make anyone feel bad about being who they are. Word will get around fast, and no one wants to hang out with a downer.
Don't let popularity take over your life. You are who you are, and nothing can change it. Be happy with who you are now, and not obsessed with who you want to be.
Don't use profanity; people will think you talk trash about others. Stay cool.
Don't ditch your friends when you want to be popular. Your old friends will be with you forever, as long as you still hang out with them or talk to them every now and then, while your popular friends might not hang out with you anymore.
If someone is bullying you and just won't stop, tell a parent, the school's dean/guidance or another adult you trust. No one has the right to boss/gossip/physically hurt someone.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Noticed\\n1-1. Put yourself out there.\\nOne of the largest keys to being popular is to make people notice you and want to be around you. In order to do that, you have to put yourself out there. If you're always walking around the halls by yourself, dreading your next class, or frowning all the way through gym class, you won’t make a good impression and people will think that it’s a drag to be around you. The secret to making people want to be around you is to let them see you laughing and having a great time so they want to spend time with you too.\\nWhen you’re hanging out with friends, make an extra effort and smile and have fun so people know you enjoy your time in school.\\nEven when you're alone in the halls, smile at people and give off a positive vibe so that people want to get to know you. A smile invites people in and lets them know that they're free to walk past without having to engage in conversation.\\n1-2. Stand out\\nShowing up to school in only your bathing suit will certainly make you stand out, but that may not be the kind of attention you want. To stand out in a good way, you have to let people know who you are and think positively of you when your name does come up. Here are some ways to get noticed:\\nYou could be the guy who is always spotted with a guitar – and who actually knows how to play it.\\nYou could have a really great laugh that people can hear from anywhere in the building.\\nYou could stand out for your knockout sense of fashion. You could also rock a unique style, like looking like a hipster chick or a rocker guy, so that everyone knows who you are.\\nMaybe you have a really low, throaty voice that sounds completely unique. Whatever your quirks are, don't try to hide them. Remember that you want to be noticed for what makes you special.\\n1-3. Join a team.\\nJoining a team and playing a sport is not only a great way to get some exercise and feel happier, but it’s also an excellent way to meet new people and make yourself known. You don’t have to be the star of your soccer team to play the sport, just have fun and get a great workout after school. Whether your school has a team or you’re playing an intramural league, make an effort to play at least one sport so you’ll be more likely to meet a variety of interesting people.\\nYou may not end up liking the sport or sticking to it. But if you spend at least a year of middle school pursuing a sport, you’ll be more likely to make friends and open up your social circle.\\nPlaying a sport also teaches you teamwork and how to deal with a variety of different talents and personalities, which can also help you manage people in your daily life and gain the skills that can help you become more popular.\\n1-4. Join clubs.\\nJoining clubs will also help you meet people, put yourself out there, and become a more interesting person as you pursue your interests. Pick something you really care about, like debate, French, Model UN, or a variety of other subjects, and stick to it. Become a leader in the club and use your position to improve the club and to get to know a wide variety of people.\\nDon’t think it’s uncool or nerdy to join a club. You’re just getting a leg up on the people who will be joining clubs in high school when they realize it is cool to be involved.\\nJoining a club and playing a sport, if you have time for it, will be a great way to meet an even larger variety of people. You may not meet the same people in clubs that you’ll meet on your sports team.\\n1-5. Have diverse interests.\\nThe more things you do, the more people you know. And the more people you know, the more likely you are to get noticed and for people not to have a blank look on their faces when your name comes up. You should play soccer, be in the drama club, and be a student aide in the library – do whatever you find interesting and use your position to meet new people.\\nIf you only pursue one interest, you’ll only be surrounded by one type of person. The key to truly being popular is being able to please a variety of different people.\\n1-6. Speak up in class.\\nYou may think it’s not cool to participate or even talk at all in class, and that you’re better off hanging out in the back of the room, looking like you have something better to do. Instead, you should participate in class, and do your homework so you actually look like you know what you’re talking about. You don’t have to be the teacher’s pet or anything, but you should talk enough so that all of the students in the class know who you are and like what you’re saying.\\nMake sure you don’t come off like a know-it-all when you speak. Be respectful and open-minded when you answer the teacher.\\n2. Making Lots of Friends\\n2-1. Be friendly\\nIf you want to be popular, then you have to work on being social, even if you’re on the shy side. You don’t have to give yourself a personality makeover to learn to be friendly to everyone, even if you don’t think that person can help your social status. The worst thing you can be is a social climber who has a reputation for only talking to the people who will make him look more popular. Instead, take the time to be friendly to anyone who comes in your path – it’ll pay off later.\\nAny time you see someone you know and they don't seem busy, say hi and give that person a big smile or a wave. You don’t have to have a ton in common to be nice to someone.\\nIt’s not cool to be a jerk to someone like the girls on “Mean Girls.” That look may work in a movie, but you’ll get burned long-term if you have a nasty attitude.\\nTreat people with kindness and respect. Be nice to people and do them favors “just because,” not because you think it’ll make them invite you to their birthday parties.\\n2-2. Show an interest in people.\\nIf you really want to be popular, then you have to show that you actually care about people, beyond whether or not they like you. You should show an interest in people by taking the time to be friendly, to ask your friends and acquaintances how they’re doing, and to ask them about their interests, families, and goals outside of school.\\nWhen you’re talking to people, make sure you ask questions like, “Are you having a good day?” or “Do you have any fun plans for this weekend?” so they know that you actually care about what goes on in their lives.\\nWork on listening just as much as you talk. If you spend all of your time talking about yourself and all of the cool things you’ve been up to, people will quickly lose interest.\\nYou should also ask people their opinions on a variety of subjects, from the cookies in the school cafeteria to which club you should join. Asking for an opinion shows that you care and value their opinion.\\nDon't be afraid to have deep conversations, too! If someone's having a rough day, offer them a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.\\n2-3. Try to make friends in different groups.\\nIf you really want to be popular in middle school, then you should be able to make friends with not only the popular kids, but all of the rest of the kids in the school. If you only talk to the same eight people because you think that makes you cool, then you’ll be in trouble in high school, when your new school will be flooded with new people and you barely know a handful of them. Work on being friends with everyone – to the nice girl in your homeroom to the boy whose locker is next to yours.\\nYou don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but you should seek out the people who interest you and who can teach you something without being too obvious about it.\\n2-4. Master small talk.\\nThere’s nothing small about small talk. Being a master of small talk can help you talk to people and make them feel comfortable before you have a more deep or more fun conversation. To make small talk, just go up to a person, say hi, and start talking about how your days are going. Asking small questions can help lead to a bigger conversation and can make people open up to you. Here are some things you can say if you’re making small talk:\\n“Did you see World War Z? I thought it was nuts – what did you think?”\\n“Can you believe how hard that Algebra test was? I spent all weekend studying and still didn’t get half the questions right. How about you – did you do anything more fun than that this weekend?”\\n“How was your big game? I’m sorry I missed it.”\\nMake sure to ask questions that can’t just be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” but which give the person room to elaborate. If they can answer the question in one word, it might stop right there and you'll be left wondering what to say.\\n2-5. Make people laugh\\nMaking people laugh is a key part of being social and of making yourself more popular. If you feel comfortable being the class clown, go for it. If you’d rather impress people with your sharp wit, that’s great too. And if you’re great at teasing people and making them crack up, then that can be your thing. Don’t force humor on people, but work on maximizing your strengths when it comes to making people laugh.\\nNotice when people laugh the most when you talk to them. Make a mental note of what you did to make them laugh and try something similar again later.\\n2-6. Learn to laugh at yourself.\\nLearning to laugh at yourself is an important part of being a fun and social human being and of being more popular. People think that the popular kids think they’re perfect and that they can do no wrong, but it will actually be refreshing if people think that you’re cool without taking yourself too seriously. You don’t have to put yourself down or be insecure to learn to laugh at yourself, but you should joke around about your weaknesses and worries to show people that you’re comfortable with who you are.\\nNobody’s perfect. If people see that you can poke fun at yourself during an ordinary conversation, they’ll appreciate you even more.\\nIf you can’t laugh at yourself and are so sensitive that you can’t even take jokes when other people tease you, then people will assume that you’re no fun. And no one wants to be friends with a dud.\\n3. Being Your Best You\\n3-1. Put a little effort into your appearance.\\nYou don’t have to be a girl who layers on the makeup or a guy who wears the trendiest shoes or pair of jeans just to be popular and get attention. But you should pay attention to your looks so that your clothes and body are clean, that your face isn't oily, and that people get a positive impression just by looking at you. You'll feel better about yourself if you know you look good, too.\\nGirls shouldn't wear makeup just because that’s what their friends are doing if that’s not really what they want to do. Natural beauty is far more impressive than beauty that's concocted with eye shadow and lip gloss.\\n3-2. Be confident\\nThough you can’t become confident overnight, you can make an effort to become more confident – to be happy with who you are, what you do, and how you look. Work on thinking about your best qualities instead of focusing on your worst attributes, and walk into a room like you’re happy to be there and deserve to be there. You can fake it until you make it. Even if you're not feeling confident, just acting confident will go a long way in making people respect you.\\nHave confident body language. Stand tall, keep your shoulders out instead of hunching over, and look straight ahead instead of staring at the floor.\\nMake eye contact when you talk to people. This will show them that you’re not afraid of social interaction.\\nDon't put yourself down. Being self-deprecating just to get attention or just for something to talk about will make other people think that you don't value yourself.\\n3-3. Be original\\nIf you want to get noticed, then you have to be original in some way, whether it’s for your unique look or your unique perspective on life. You don't have to \\\"be weird\\\" or do something that doesn’t make you comfortable to be different. Just embrace your quirks and the thoughts and actions that make you special. People will notice you if you’re committed to being an individual instead of following the pack.\\nDon't dress like everyone else just to fit in. Find a style that suits your personality.\\nYou don’t have to like the same music as everyone else to be popular, either. You'll be more respected if you take the time to find music that you really appreciate and share it with others.\\nDon't be afraid to voice your opinion in class even if it doesn't fit in with what everyone else is thinking. Your unique mind will make people notice you.\\n3-4. Excel at something.\\nAnother way to easily get noticed for being awesome and to feel good about yourself is to excel in something, whether it’s being the most insightful girl in your English class, to being the best goalie your middle school has ever seen. Don't think that it's \\\"not cool\\\" to actually care about something, and instead, embrace the things you love and work hard to excel at them. It'll pay off in the future.\\nBeing good at something will not only make people notice you, but it will build your character.\\nIf you immerse yourself in something that you really care about, you'll be less likely to care what people think, and more likely to make new friends in the process.\\nExcelling at something will also make you a more dynamic person and more fun to talk to, so people will like you even more if you can talk about something that you love doing – as long as you don't brag.\\n3-5. Stop caring what other people think.\\nIt may feel nearly impossible to stop caring what people think in middle school, when many people spend the majority of their time talking and gossiping about other people and worrying about how they come off. It’s only natural to care what people think when you're still growing, both physically and emotionally, as a person and don’t yet know quite where you belong.\\nIf you recognize that you're not the only person who is feeling insecure or wondering what everyone thinks of you, you’ll be much less likely to care.\\nFocus on doing the things that make you happy instead of worrying about whether or not people will laugh at you for doing them!\\nIf you spend your life doing whatever you think will make other people like you more, you'll never be satisfied.\\nWhen you walk into a room, stand tall and proud instead of checking your reflection every two seconds, fidgeting with your clothes, and wondering what people think of your appearance.\\nRemember - just because someone is older than you doesn't mean that they have to be nicer. Practicing kindness and compassion at a young age will help to make you a well-respected person by friends and adults alike. In particular, you can always talk to those who are being bullied and help them feel better by including them and being a friend.\\n3-6. Realize that this is only middle school.\\nYour popularity doesn't matter to anyone once you reach high school. Actually, people will dislike you the more popular you are from high school on due to the stereotypical actions of \\\"popular people.\\\" The fame only lasts until 8th grade, so don't let it bother you. Just be nice and have friends that matter. What's the point of being that person who is so popular but no one likes? It's just middle school, popularity is the easiest of your future conflicts. \\nIn fact, there's a lot of research out there that says it's the unpopular kids in middle school that are the successful adults. If you don't consider yourself popular, realize that it's only going to get better from here – while the rest of the popular kids you know are already at their peak.\\nTips\\nDo not be mean to people, friends, teachers, and adults. Being mean and having a nasty attitude will just make people lower their interest in you. If somebody gives you a cocky comment, answer them calmly, and end it off sassy, but don't insult them, make it sound smart and funny.\\nWhen you make one new friend, you often end up meeting more of their friends. Build upon your connections to get to know more people.\\nSee what's in style at your school and put your own spin on it. Add your own creative style, experiment and set trends! No one likes a copycat.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t give in to peer pressure, especially when it comes to things like taking drugs and drinking alcohol. Someone who forces you to be like them or do things you know you shouldn't do is not your friend.\\nNever make anyone feel bad about being who they are. Word will get around fast, and no one wants to hang out with a downer.\\nDon't let popularity take over your life. You are who you are, and nothing can change it. Be happy with who you are now, and not obsessed with who you want to be.\\nDon't use profanity; people will think you talk trash about others. Stay cool.\\nDon't ditch your friends when you want to be popular. Your old friends will be with you forever, as long as you still hang out with them or talk to them every now and then, while your popular friends might not hang out with you anymore.\\nIf someone is bullying you and just won't stop, tell a parent, the school's dean/guidance or another adult you trust. No one has the right to boss/gossip/physically hurt someone.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Middle school can be a tough time for everyone, since they're dealing with their changing bodies and emotions as well as worrying about what people really think about them. But have no fear if you want to be popular in middle school, all you have to do is get noticed, be social, and be the best you there is while staying true to yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Noticed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself out there.\", \"描述\": \"One of the largest keys to being popular is to make people notice you and want to be around you. In order to do that, you have to put yourself out there. If you're always walking around the halls by yourself, dreading your next class, or frowning all the way through gym class, you won’t make a good impression and people will think that it’s a drag to be around you. The secret to making people want to be around you is to let them see you laughing and having a great time so they want to spend time with you too.\\nWhen you’re hanging out with friends, make an extra effort and smile and have fun so people know you enjoy your time in school.\\nEven when you're alone in the halls, smile at people and give off a positive vibe so that people want to get to know you. A smile invites people in and lets them know that they're free to walk past without having to engage in conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stand out\", \"描述\": \"Showing up to school in only your bathing suit will certainly make you stand out, but that may not be the kind of attention you want. To stand out in a good way, you have to let people know who you are and think positively of you when your name does come up. Here are some ways to get noticed:\\nYou could be the guy who is always spotted with a guitar – and who actually knows how to play it.\\nYou could have a really great laugh that people can hear from anywhere in the building.\\nYou could stand out for your knockout sense of fashion. You could also rock a unique style, like looking like a hipster chick or a rocker guy, so that everyone knows who you are.\\nMaybe you have a really low, throaty voice that sounds completely unique. Whatever your quirks are, don't try to hide them. Remember that you want to be noticed for what makes you special.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join a team.\", \"描述\": \"Joining a team and playing a sport is not only a great way to get some exercise and feel happier, but it’s also an excellent way to meet new people and make yourself known. You don’t have to be the star of your soccer team to play the sport, just have fun and get a great workout after school. Whether your school has a team or you’re playing an intramural league, make an effort to play at least one sport so you’ll be more likely to meet a variety of interesting people.\\nYou may not end up liking the sport or sticking to it. But if you spend at least a year of middle school pursuing a sport, you’ll be more likely to make friends and open up your social circle.\\nPlaying a sport also teaches you teamwork and how to deal with a variety of different talents and personalities, which can also help you manage people in your daily life and gain the skills that can help you become more popular.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join clubs.\", \"描述\": \"Joining clubs will also help you meet people, put yourself out there, and become a more interesting person as you pursue your interests. Pick something you really care about, like debate, French, Model UN, or a variety of other subjects, and stick to it. Become a leader in the club and use your position to improve the club and to get to know a wide variety of people.\\nDon’t think it’s uncool or nerdy to join a club. You’re just getting a leg up on the people who will be joining clubs in high school when they realize it is cool to be involved.\\nJoining a club and playing a sport, if you have time for it, will be a great way to meet an even larger variety of people. You may not meet the same people in clubs that you’ll meet on your sports team.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have diverse interests.\", \"描述\": \"The more things you do, the more people you know. And the more people you know, the more likely you are to get noticed and for people not to have a blank look on their faces when your name comes up. You should play soccer, be in the drama club, and be a student aide in the library – do whatever you find interesting and use your position to meet new people.\\nIf you only pursue one interest, you’ll only be surrounded by one type of person. The key to truly being popular is being able to please a variety of different people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Speak up in class.\", \"描述\": \"You may think it’s not cool to participate or even talk at all in class, and that you’re better off hanging out in the back of the room, looking like you have something better to do. Instead, you should participate in class, and do your homework so you actually look like you know what you’re talking about. You don’t have to be the teacher’s pet or anything, but you should talk enough so that all of the students in the class know who you are and like what you’re saying.\\nMake sure you don’t come off like a know-it-all when you speak. Be respectful and open-minded when you answer the teacher.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Lots of Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friendly\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be popular, then you have to work on being social, even if you’re on the shy side. You don’t have to give yourself a personality makeover to learn to be friendly to everyone, even if you don’t think that person can help your social status. The worst thing you can be is a social climber who has a reputation for only talking to the people who will make him look more popular. Instead, take the time to be friendly to anyone who comes in your path – it’ll pay off later.\\nAny time you see someone you know and they don't seem busy, say hi and give that person a big smile or a wave. You don’t have to have a ton in common to be nice to someone.\\nIt’s not cool to be a jerk to someone like the girls on “Mean Girls.” That look may work in a movie, but you’ll get burned long-term if you have a nasty attitude.\\nTreat people with kindness and respect. Be nice to people and do them favors “just because,” not because you think it’ll make them invite you to their birthday parties.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show an interest in people.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be popular, then you have to show that you actually care about people, beyond whether or not they like you. You should show an interest in people by taking the time to be friendly, to ask your friends and acquaintances how they’re doing, and to ask them about their interests, families, and goals outside of school.\\nWhen you’re talking to people, make sure you ask questions like, “Are you having a good day?” or “Do you have any fun plans for this weekend?” so they know that you actually care about what goes on in their lives.\\nWork on listening just as much as you talk. If you spend all of your time talking about yourself and all of the cool things you’ve been up to, people will quickly lose interest.\\nYou should also ask people their opinions on a variety of subjects, from the cookies in the school cafeteria to which club you should join. Asking for an opinion shows that you care and value their opinion.\\nDon't be afraid to have deep conversations, too! If someone's having a rough day, offer them a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to make friends in different groups.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be popular in middle school, then you should be able to make friends with not only the popular kids, but all of the rest of the kids in the school. If you only talk to the same eight people because you think that makes you cool, then you’ll be in trouble in high school, when your new school will be flooded with new people and you barely know a handful of them. Work on being friends with everyone – to the nice girl in your homeroom to the boy whose locker is next to yours.\\nYou don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but you should seek out the people who interest you and who can teach you something without being too obvious about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Master small talk.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing small about small talk. Being a master of small talk can help you talk to people and make them feel comfortable before you have a more deep or more fun conversation. To make small talk, just go up to a person, say hi, and start talking about how your days are going. Asking small questions can help lead to a bigger conversation and can make people open up to you. Here are some things you can say if you’re making small talk:\\n“Did you see World War Z? I thought it was nuts – what did you think?”\\n“Can you believe how hard that Algebra test was? I spent all weekend studying and still didn’t get half the questions right. How about you – did you do anything more fun than that this weekend?”\\n“How was your big game? I’m sorry I missed it.”\\nMake sure to ask questions that can’t just be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” but which give the person room to elaborate. If they can answer the question in one word, it might stop right there and you'll be left wondering what to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make people laugh\", \"描述\": \"Making people laugh is a key part of being social and of making yourself more popular. If you feel comfortable being the class clown, go for it. If you’d rather impress people with your sharp wit, that’s great too. And if you’re great at teasing people and making them crack up, then that can be your thing. Don’t force humor on people, but work on maximizing your strengths when it comes to making people laugh.\\nNotice when people laugh the most when you talk to them. Make a mental note of what you did to make them laugh and try something similar again later.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to laugh at yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Learning to laugh at yourself is an important part of being a fun and social human being and of being more popular. People think that the popular kids think they’re perfect and that they can do no wrong, but it will actually be refreshing if people think that you’re cool without taking yourself too seriously. You don’t have to put yourself down or be insecure to learn to laugh at yourself, but you should joke around about your weaknesses and worries to show people that you’re comfortable with who you are.\\nNobody’s perfect. If people see that you can poke fun at yourself during an ordinary conversation, they’ll appreciate you even more.\\nIf you can’t laugh at yourself and are so sensitive that you can’t even take jokes when other people tease you, then people will assume that you’re no fun. And no one wants to be friends with a dud.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Your Best You\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put a little effort into your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be a girl who layers on the makeup or a guy who wears the trendiest shoes or pair of jeans just to be popular and get attention. But you should pay attention to your looks so that your clothes and body are clean, that your face isn't oily, and that people get a positive impression just by looking at you. You'll feel better about yourself if you know you look good, too.\\nGirls shouldn't wear makeup just because that’s what their friends are doing if that’s not really what they want to do. Natural beauty is far more impressive than beauty that's concocted with eye shadow and lip gloss.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"Though you can’t become confident overnight, you can make an effort to become more confident – to be happy with who you are, what you do, and how you look. Work on thinking about your best qualities instead of focusing on your worst attributes, and walk into a room like you’re happy to be there and deserve to be there. You can fake it until you make it. Even if you're not feeling confident, just acting confident will go a long way in making people respect you.\\nHave confident body language. Stand tall, keep your shoulders out instead of hunching over, and look straight ahead instead of staring at the floor.\\nMake eye contact when you talk to people. This will show them that you’re not afraid of social interaction.\\nDon't put yourself down. Being self-deprecating just to get attention or just for something to talk about will make other people think that you don't value yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be original\", \"描述\": \"If you want to get noticed, then you have to be original in some way, whether it’s for your unique look or your unique perspective on life. You don't have to \\\"be weird\\\" or do something that doesn’t make you comfortable to be different. Just embrace your quirks and the thoughts and actions that make you special. People will notice you if you’re committed to being an individual instead of following the pack.\\nDon't dress like everyone else just to fit in. Find a style that suits your personality.\\nYou don’t have to like the same music as everyone else to be popular, either. You'll be more respected if you take the time to find music that you really appreciate and share it with others.\\nDon't be afraid to voice your opinion in class even if it doesn't fit in with what everyone else is thinking. Your unique mind will make people notice you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Excel at something.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to easily get noticed for being awesome and to feel good about yourself is to excel in something, whether it’s being the most insightful girl in your English class, to being the best goalie your middle school has ever seen. Don't think that it's \\\"not cool\\\" to actually care about something, and instead, embrace the things you love and work hard to excel at them. It'll pay off in the future.\\nBeing good at something will not only make people notice you, but it will build your character.\\nIf you immerse yourself in something that you really care about, you'll be less likely to care what people think, and more likely to make new friends in the process.\\nExcelling at something will also make you a more dynamic person and more fun to talk to, so people will like you even more if you can talk about something that you love doing – as long as you don't brag.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop caring what other people think.\", \"描述\": \"It may feel nearly impossible to stop caring what people think in middle school, when many people spend the majority of their time talking and gossiping about other people and worrying about how they come off. It’s only natural to care what people think when you're still growing, both physically and emotionally, as a person and don’t yet know quite where you belong.\\nIf you recognize that you're not the only person who is feeling insecure or wondering what everyone thinks of you, you’ll be much less likely to care.\\nFocus on doing the things that make you happy instead of worrying about whether or not people will laugh at you for doing them!\\nIf you spend your life doing whatever you think will make other people like you more, you'll never be satisfied.\\nWhen you walk into a room, stand tall and proud instead of checking your reflection every two seconds, fidgeting with your clothes, and wondering what people think of your appearance.\\nRemember - just because someone is older than you doesn't mean that they have to be nicer. Practicing kindness and compassion at a young age will help to make you a well-respected person by friends and adults alike. In particular, you can always talk to those who are being bullied and help them feel better by including them and being a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Realize that this is only middle school.\", \"描述\": \"Your popularity doesn't matter to anyone once you reach high school. Actually, people will dislike you the more popular you are from high school on due to the stereotypical actions of \\\"popular people.\\\" The fame only lasts until 8th grade, so don't let it bother you. Just be nice and have friends that matter. What's the point of being that person who is so popular but no one likes? It's just middle school, popularity is the easiest of your future conflicts. \\nIn fact, there's a lot of research out there that says it's the unpopular kids in middle school that are the successful adults. If you don't consider yourself popular, realize that it's only going to get better from here – while the rest of the popular kids you know are already at their peak.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not be mean to people, friends, teachers, and adults. Being mean and having a nasty attitude will just make people lower their interest in you. If somebody gives you a cocky comment, answer them calmly, and end it off sassy, but don't insult them, make it sound smart and funny.\\n\", \"When you make one new friend, you often end up meeting more of their friends. Build upon your connections to get to know more people.\\n\", \"See what's in style at your school and put your own spin on it. Add your own creative style, experiment and set trends! No one likes a copycat.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t give in to peer pressure, especially when it comes to things like taking drugs and drinking alcohol. Someone who forces you to be like them or do things you know you shouldn't do is not your friend.\\n\", \"Never make anyone feel bad about being who they are. Word will get around fast, and no one wants to hang out with a downer.\\n\", \"Don't let popularity take over your life. You are who you are, and nothing can change it. Be happy with who you are now, and not obsessed with who you want to be.\\n\", \"Don't use profanity; people will think you talk trash about others. Stay cool.\\n\", \"Don't ditch your friends when you want to be popular. Your old friends will be with you forever, as long as you still hang out with them or talk to them every now and then, while your popular friends might not hang out with you anymore.\\nIf someone is bullying you and just won't stop, tell a parent, the school's dean/guidance or another adult you trust. No one has the right to boss/gossip/physically hurt someone.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,050 | How to Be Popular in Middle School (for Boys) | 1. Looking Presentable
1-1. Wash your hair
It shouldn't be greasy. Also brush your teeth, smell good, and wash your face.
1-2. Chew mint-flavored gum (to be fresh) use mouthwash and smile.
Middle school is a difficult time - you never know who is having a bad day. Just one smile can brighten someone else's day.
1-3. Dress in a way that makes you feel good.
You can wear anything you like, some ideas for what to wear are:
Graphic tees from Billabong, Quicksilver, Nike, Vans, etc., long sports shorts, sandals or flip-flops, sweatshirts, and jeans or khakis. If you have to wear a school uniform, it shouldn't affect your popularity. If you don't have to wear uniform at school, but you do, you'll stand out for sure, but, it might not make you popular especially if you want to be popular with less academic-minded scholars.
2. Getting a Social Life
2-1. Look confident.
This is key to have people respecting you more. A confident attitude is about standing up straight, holding your head up and striding around in a manly way around school. Walk like it every day and soon you'll feel more confident and you'll see that people will think of you with more respect, too.
Believing in yourself and having confidence is the most important part of b becoming popular. If you don’t think you’re cool, other people won’t either.
2-2. Be yourself
This is the golden rule to be popular. You have to be yourself or people might avoid you. If the person you're trying to be friends with doesn't want to be friends with you, then it's their loss, not yours. Don't let anybody change you. If he/she doesn't like you for who you are, then move on to a different person.
2-3. Don't lie.
Nobody likes a liar and if you do lie then it's going to catch up to you in life. The truth might be embarrassing.
2-4. Say, "Hi."
It's so easy to be popular. All you have to do is say hi to everybody in your school or compliment others if you want to. Saying hi definitely breaks the ice. You can also compliment others, by saying things like: "Hey dude, nice shoes. Are you a skater dude or something?" He most likely will respond back - if he doesn't then find somebody else. Same goes with complimenting girls; don't say something like: "Hey, I love your hair." Or "I really like your shirt today." Treat her like a Guy. Say similar things. If she doesn't respond then move on. There are tons of boys and girls who like you. You just have to find the right people.
2-5. Start conversations.
During your conversations with people, try to find things you have in common. This will make your friendship last for a long time. Don't agree on everything; you're going to have one thing you like that he/she doesn't or something that he/she likes that you don't.
2-6. Invite people to lunch.
Sit together at lunch so that you and your friend can know each other better.
2-7. Join social media websites.
Join SnapChat, Instagram, Twitter or YouTube. You're going to find at least somebody from school, so add him/her as friends and you'll get to know each other online.
2-8. Repeat the early steps until you have at least half the school as your friends.
2-9. Read the tips and warnings, and good luck!
Tips
Talk to your friends and be noticeable in most of your classes.
Laugh at yourself too. People like to be with someone who doesn't take himself so seriously either.
Don't forget your old friends while you're making time for your new friends - you can always try to make them popular as well.
Warnings
Don't do drugs, drink, have sex, or smoke. It will dramatically reduce the number of people who will want to hang out with you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Looking Presentable\\n1-1. Wash your hair\\nIt shouldn't be greasy. Also brush your teeth, smell good, and wash your face.\\n1-2. Chew mint-flavored gum (to be fresh) use mouthwash and smile.\\nMiddle school is a difficult time - you never know who is having a bad day. Just one smile can brighten someone else's day.\\n1-3. Dress in a way that makes you feel good.\\nYou can wear anything you like, some ideas for what to wear are:\\nGraphic tees from Billabong, Quicksilver, Nike, Vans, etc., long sports shorts, sandals or flip-flops, sweatshirts, and jeans or khakis. If you have to wear a school uniform, it shouldn't affect your popularity. If you don't have to wear uniform at school, but you do, you'll stand out for sure, but, it might not make you popular especially if you want to be popular with less academic-minded scholars.\\n2. Getting a Social Life\\n2-1. Look confident.\\nThis is key to have people respecting you more. A confident attitude is about standing up straight, holding your head up and striding around in a manly way around school. Walk like it every day and soon you'll feel more confident and you'll see that people will think of you with more respect, too.\\nBelieving in yourself and having confidence is the most important part of b becoming popular. If you don’t think you’re cool, other people won’t either.\\n2-2. Be yourself\\nThis is the golden rule to be popular. You have to be yourself or people might avoid you. If the person you're trying to be friends with doesn't want to be friends with you, then it's their loss, not yours. Don't let anybody change you. If he/she doesn't like you for who you are, then move on to a different person.\\n2-3. Don't lie.\\nNobody likes a liar and if you do lie then it's going to catch up to you in life. The truth might be embarrassing.\\n2-4. Say, \\\"Hi.\\\"\\nIt's so easy to be popular. All you have to do is say hi to everybody in your school or compliment others if you want to. Saying hi definitely breaks the ice. You can also compliment others, by saying things like: \\\"Hey dude, nice shoes. Are you a skater dude or something?\\\" He most likely will respond back - if he doesn't then find somebody else. Same goes with complimenting girls; don't say something like: \\\"Hey, I love your hair.\\\" Or \\\"I really like your shirt today.\\\" Treat her like a Guy. Say similar things. If she doesn't respond then move on. There are tons of boys and girls who like you. You just have to find the right people.\\n2-5. Start conversations.\\nDuring your conversations with people, try to find things you have in common. This will make your friendship last for a long time. Don't agree on everything; you're going to have one thing you like that he/she doesn't or something that he/she likes that you don't.\\n2-6. Invite people to lunch.\\nSit together at lunch so that you and your friend can know each other better.\\n2-7. Join social media websites.\\nJoin SnapChat, Instagram, Twitter or YouTube. You're going to find at least somebody from school, so add him/her as friends and you'll get to know each other online.\\n2-8. Repeat the early steps until you have at least half the school as your friends.\\n\\n2-9. Read the tips and warnings, and good luck!\\n\\nTips\\nTalk to your friends and be noticeable in most of your classes.\\nLaugh at yourself too. People like to be with someone who doesn't take himself so seriously either.\\nDon't forget your old friends while you're making time for your new friends - you can always try to make them popular as well.\\nWarnings\\nDon't do drugs, drink, have sex, or smoke. It will dramatically reduce the number of people who will want to hang out with you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you a boy and looking to be popular in middle school? While wikiHow has an excellent resource on how to Be Popular in Middle School, this article will specifically focus on becoming a popular boy. Don't forget to click on the green highlighted links and read the tips and warnings. Those will help you become popular too.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Looking Presentable\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wash your hair\", \"描述\": \"It shouldn't be greasy. Also brush your teeth, smell good, and wash your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Chew mint-flavored gum (to be fresh) use mouthwash and smile.\", \"描述\": \"Middle school is a difficult time - you never know who is having a bad day. Just one smile can brighten someone else's day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress in a way that makes you feel good.\", \"描述\": \"You can wear anything you like, some ideas for what to wear are:\\nGraphic tees from Billabong, Quicksilver, Nike, Vans, etc., long sports shorts, sandals or flip-flops, sweatshirts, and jeans or khakis. If you have to wear a school uniform, it shouldn't affect your popularity. If you don't have to wear uniform at school, but you do, you'll stand out for sure, but, it might not make you popular especially if you want to be popular with less academic-minded scholars.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting a Social Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look confident.\", \"描述\": \"This is key to have people respecting you more. A confident attitude is about standing up straight, holding your head up and striding around in a manly way around school. Walk like it every day and soon you'll feel more confident and you'll see that people will think of you with more respect, too.\\nBelieving in yourself and having confidence is the most important part of b becoming popular. If you don’t think you’re cool, other people won’t either.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be yourself\", \"描述\": \"This is the golden rule to be popular. You have to be yourself or people might avoid you. If the person you're trying to be friends with doesn't want to be friends with you, then it's their loss, not yours. Don't let anybody change you. If he/she doesn't like you for who you are, then move on to a different person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't lie.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody likes a liar and if you do lie then it's going to catch up to you in life. The truth might be embarrassing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say, \\\"Hi.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"It's so easy to be popular. All you have to do is say hi to everybody in your school or compliment others if you want to. Saying hi definitely breaks the ice. You can also compliment others, by saying things like: \\\"Hey dude, nice shoes. Are you a skater dude or something?\\\" He most likely will respond back - if he doesn't then find somebody else. Same goes with complimenting girls; don't say something like: \\\"Hey, I love your hair.\\\" Or \\\"I really like your shirt today.\\\" Treat her like a Guy. Say similar things. If she doesn't respond then move on. There are tons of boys and girls who like you. You just have to find the right people.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Start conversations.\", \"描述\": \"During your conversations with people, try to find things you have in common. This will make your friendship last for a long time. Don't agree on everything; you're going to have one thing you like that he/she doesn't or something that he/she likes that you don't.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Invite people to lunch.\", \"描述\": \"Sit together at lunch so that you and your friend can know each other better.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Join social media websites.\", \"描述\": \"Join SnapChat, Instagram, Twitter or YouTube. You're going to find at least somebody from school, so add him/her as friends and you'll get to know each other online.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Repeat the early steps until you have at least half the school as your friends.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Read the tips and warnings, and good luck!\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Talk to your friends and be noticeable in most of your classes.\\n\", \"Laugh at yourself too. People like to be with someone who doesn't take himself so seriously either.\\n\", \"Don't forget your old friends while you're making time for your new friends - you can always try to make them popular as well.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't do drugs, drink, have sex, or smoke. It will dramatically reduce the number of people who will want to hang out with you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,051 | How to Be Popular in Middle School (for Girls) | 1. Building Your Social Skills
1-1. Make friends with new people
Start by just saying “Hi!”or "Hello!" to the person who sits next to you in class. Talk or complain about your homework, like, “That worksheet took me forever!” As you get to know them, start asking what’s new in their life. It’s hard at first, but the more people you talk to, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel.
Try sitting with somebody new at lunch. Say, “Wow, your sandwich looks good,” or, “Can you believe the cafeteria served pizza today?”
Relax and act normally when you talk to new people--you don’t want it to seem like you’re trying too hard. Let your new friendships progress slowly and naturally, and don’t force anyone to be your friend if they’re not interested.
1-2. Talk to your new friends outside of school.
Exchange phone numbers and talk or text them a few times a week. It can be something as simple as, “I’m so bored. What’s up with you?” Invite them to hang out by saying something like, “Do you want to go to the mall this weekend? My mom can drive!”
Use a cell phone if you have one, but it’s okay if you don’t. Ask your parents if it’s okay to talk to your friends on the landline. If they’re worried about you spending too much time on the phone, say you’ll limit it to just half an hour a day.
1-3. Post on social media to boost your popularity.
Follow your new friends and share funny videos, link to cool websites, and pictures of places you go. Use your pictures and posts to show who you really are and not the person you think people will like.
Stay safe online. Don’t chat with people you don’t know and never be cruel to someone on social media.
If your parents won’t allow you to have a social media account, remember that they’re only looking out for you. Ask them if you can have social media with some limitations, like not following anyone you don’t know. If they say you’re not old enough, ask what age is okay. Maybe it’s only a year or two! In the meantime, focus on making friends in school and in “real life.”
1-4. Stay loyal to your “old” friends.
Invite your old group when you make plans with your new friends, or hang out with your old friends separately if they don’t want to mix. Whatever you do, don’t choose popularity over true friendship and loyalty. These are the friends who’ve been there for you from the start, so make sure to show them how important they are to you. You know what they say; Find the gold but keep the bronze.
If the popular kids won’t accept you still being friends with your old group, really think about if popularity is worth losing a lifelong friendship over.
If your old friends are upset that you’re trying to be popular or feel left behind, be honest with them about it. Say, “I’m trying to make new friends and meet new people, but you know that no one could ever replace you.” Show you mean it by making plans with them or eating lunch with them at least a few times a week.
1-5. Avoid changing yourself drastically to become popular.
What makes you different and unique is what people will attract people to you, so embrace who you are! Loving yourself shows that you’re not ashamed of who you are, and that kind of confidence will make everyone want to be your friend.
Listen to the music you love even if it’s not the top 10 hits. Wear clothes that make you feel great even if they’re not from a designer label. Maybe you love to knit or can spend hours reading--embrace those quirky habits!
If your new friends pressure you to change your values or who you really are, they’re probably not people you want to be friends with.
2. Getting Involved in Your School
2-1. Run for student government
Ask your classmates what they want to see improved about the school. Pick the top three things that you can do and make that your campaign platform. You’ll become popular not just because people will know who you are, but because they’ll also respect you for your ideas and bravery.
Think of realistic ideas, like making school dances more fun or organizing cool assemblies and performances.
If the idea of joining student government is too scary, or just not your thing, get involved in other ways! Join a club or sports team to meet new people.
2-2. Show off your talents.
It’s time to show your classmates what you’re great at! Even if you think your talent is uncool or weird, embracing it will show that you’re confident in who you are. And you’ll be surprised by how many other people might love your hobby, too! Here are some ideas to get you started:
If you love to sing, dance, or act, act in school plays or enter a school talent show.
If you love playing sports, join a team. Go for a sport you already love or try a new one to meet a whole new group of people.
If you love writing or photography, work for the school newspaper or yearbook, if you have one.
If you’re passionate about a particular subject, start a club for it or volunteer to tutor other kids who need help.
2-3. Get excited about school events.
You’ll get to know your new friends in a more relaxed way by hanging out with them outside of regular school hours. Have fun with it and take advantage of all the cool activities your school puts on.
Show your spirit by dressing up for school spirit days, cheering on your classmates at sports games, and supporting your friends at talent shows and music performances.
2-4. Set up new clubs, activities, and events.
Sometimes it feels like nothing ever happens at your school, but you have the power to change that! Ask your teacher or principal how you can pitch your ideas for a new club or school activity, like a field trip or a cool assembly. Have a positive attitude, be kind and helpful. Here are a few other ideas to get you brainstorming:
Start a recycling program. If your school already has one, revamp it! Set up a competition between grades or homerooms to see who can recycle the most in a month. Offer a fun prize, like a pizza party, for the winner.
Hold a career day. Invite parents, community leaders, or even older brothers and sisters to talk about their jobs as a fun break from class for your classmates. If you get enough speakers, make it a career week! Highlight a different job every day.
3. Keeping a Good Reputation
3-1. Keep your grades up.
Your classmates will admire your hard work and good grades! They might even ask you for help with their own homework.
Although blowing off homework or failing tests might not seem like a big deal--it might even seem cool!--your friends and classmates will eventually stop respecting you if you act like you don’t care about school.
3-2. Dress stylishly, but keep it appropriate.
Wear clothes that make you look and, more importantly, feel great, while staying within your school’s dress code. Instead of wearing revealing tops or super-short shorts or skirts any tops, look for long, flowy skirts and comfy sweaters. Experiment with jewelry and shoes, too.
You can still rock your personal style if your school has uniforms. Accessorize with funky jewelry, shoes, or tights. Wear a bold headband or shiny clips to catch people’s eyes.
Be true to your own style. If you feel best in sporty, casual clothes, you don’t need to jump right into wearing dresses every day. Start off by pairing a nice pair of jeans with a cool T-shirt. Mix in a skirt every once in awhile if you want, or just try tops that are a little fancier.
3-3. Stay true to what you know is right.
Don’t be afraid to say what you feel, even if it doesn’t seem like the popular thing to do at the time. Stand up for your values so that others respect you, and so you can respect yourself.
For example, if it seems like all the popular kids are slacking off with their work but you know you need to get good grades, keep at it.
If all the other girls start wearing a style of clothes you don’t feel comfortable in, don’t feel like you need to change.
3-4. Stand up to bullies.
Grab one of your friends to help you feel more confident. Make eye contact and say, “That’s really not okay. I think you should stop.” Stay calm and cool and don’t let them rile you up. If you feel like the situation might get dangerous, get a teacher’s help.
Standing up to bullies shows that you’re brave, confident, and care about your classmates.
Standing up to bullies can get you new friends and the teachers and classmates might notice what you have done and will pay attention to you. They might even notice you as a hero!
3-5. Stay away from drugs.
You’ve probably heard it your whole life, but this rule is still pretty important. Alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes won’t make you more popular--they’ll just give you a bad reputation. Drugs will make you feel bad mentally and physically, and might even ruin your appearance.
To politely say no to someone offering you drugs, say something like, “No thanks. It’s not really my thing.”
You can also make up an excuse or even a light joke, by saying, “If my parents found out I was drinking, they’d never let me hang out with you again! And they find out everything I do, so it’s just not worth the risk.”
Tips
Focus on your personality and talents. In middle school, you probably won’t be allowed to wear makeup, shave your legs, or dress provocatively. This is a great opportunity to show your classmates that what’s really beautiful about you is below the surface.
Try to look approachable. Most people are drawn towards someone who has a smile on their face and those who are nice and kind.
When you get to school on the first day of school, say "Hello!" to the person next to you start by introducing your name and asking for theirs. If you're new to the school, say something like "I'm new to this school. Are you?" If you're not new say,"Are you new to this school?" Keep the conversation going and everything might turn out okay!
Warnings
Try not to get involved in fights between groups of friends. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you should try to be polite and kind as much as possible.
Be careful about jealous classmates. Bullies could start out with dirty looks, but they may step it up by spreading rumors about you. Just be nice and treat them like you would anyone else. If this doesn’t work, ask for help from a teacher, parent, or guardian.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Building Your Social Skills\\n1-1. Make friends with new people\\nStart by just saying “Hi!”or \\\"Hello!\\\" to the person who sits next to you in class. Talk or complain about your homework, like, “That worksheet took me forever!” As you get to know them, start asking what’s new in their life. It’s hard at first, but the more people you talk to, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel.\\nTry sitting with somebody new at lunch. Say, “Wow, your sandwich looks good,” or, “Can you believe the cafeteria served pizza today?”\\nRelax and act normally when you talk to new people--you don’t want it to seem like you’re trying too hard. Let your new friendships progress slowly and naturally, and don’t force anyone to be your friend if they’re not interested.\\n1-2. Talk to your new friends outside of school.\\nExchange phone numbers and talk or text them a few times a week. It can be something as simple as, “I’m so bored. What’s up with you?” Invite them to hang out by saying something like, “Do you want to go to the mall this weekend? My mom can drive!” \\nUse a cell phone if you have one, but it’s okay if you don’t. Ask your parents if it’s okay to talk to your friends on the landline. If they’re worried about you spending too much time on the phone, say you’ll limit it to just half an hour a day.\\n1-3. Post on social media to boost your popularity.\\nFollow your new friends and share funny videos, link to cool websites, and pictures of places you go. Use your pictures and posts to show who you really are and not the person you think people will like.\\nStay safe online. Don’t chat with people you don’t know and never be cruel to someone on social media.\\nIf your parents won’t allow you to have a social media account, remember that they’re only looking out for you. Ask them if you can have social media with some limitations, like not following anyone you don’t know. If they say you’re not old enough, ask what age is okay. Maybe it’s only a year or two! In the meantime, focus on making friends in school and in “real life.”\\n1-4. Stay loyal to your “old” friends.\\nInvite your old group when you make plans with your new friends, or hang out with your old friends separately if they don’t want to mix. Whatever you do, don’t choose popularity over true friendship and loyalty. These are the friends who’ve been there for you from the start, so make sure to show them how important they are to you. You know what they say; Find the gold but keep the bronze. \\nIf the popular kids won’t accept you still being friends with your old group, really think about if popularity is worth losing a lifelong friendship over.\\nIf your old friends are upset that you’re trying to be popular or feel left behind, be honest with them about it. Say, “I’m trying to make new friends and meet new people, but you know that no one could ever replace you.” Show you mean it by making plans with them or eating lunch with them at least a few times a week.\\n1-5. Avoid changing yourself drastically to become popular.\\nWhat makes you different and unique is what people will attract people to you, so embrace who you are! Loving yourself shows that you’re not ashamed of who you are, and that kind of confidence will make everyone want to be your friend.\\nListen to the music you love even if it’s not the top 10 hits. Wear clothes that make you feel great even if they’re not from a designer label. Maybe you love to knit or can spend hours reading--embrace those quirky habits!\\nIf your new friends pressure you to change your values or who you really are, they’re probably not people you want to be friends with.\\n2. Getting Involved in Your School\\n2-1. Run for student government\\nAsk your classmates what they want to see improved about the school. Pick the top three things that you can do and make that your campaign platform. You’ll become popular not just because people will know who you are, but because they’ll also respect you for your ideas and bravery.\\nThink of realistic ideas, like making school dances more fun or organizing cool assemblies and performances.\\nIf the idea of joining student government is too scary, or just not your thing, get involved in other ways! Join a club or sports team to meet new people.\\n2-2. Show off your talents.\\nIt’s time to show your classmates what you’re great at! Even if you think your talent is uncool or weird, embracing it will show that you’re confident in who you are. And you’ll be surprised by how many other people might love your hobby, too! Here are some ideas to get you started:\\nIf you love to sing, dance, or act, act in school plays or enter a school talent show.\\nIf you love playing sports, join a team. Go for a sport you already love or try a new one to meet a whole new group of people.\\nIf you love writing or photography, work for the school newspaper or yearbook, if you have one.\\nIf you’re passionate about a particular subject, start a club for it or volunteer to tutor other kids who need help.\\n2-3. Get excited about school events.\\nYou’ll get to know your new friends in a more relaxed way by hanging out with them outside of regular school hours. Have fun with it and take advantage of all the cool activities your school puts on.\\nShow your spirit by dressing up for school spirit days, cheering on your classmates at sports games, and supporting your friends at talent shows and music performances.\\n2-4. Set up new clubs, activities, and events.\\nSometimes it feels like nothing ever happens at your school, but you have the power to change that! Ask your teacher or principal how you can pitch your ideas for a new club or school activity, like a field trip or a cool assembly. Have a positive attitude, be kind and helpful. Here are a few other ideas to get you brainstorming:\\nStart a recycling program. If your school already has one, revamp it! Set up a competition between grades or homerooms to see who can recycle the most in a month. Offer a fun prize, like a pizza party, for the winner.\\nHold a career day. Invite parents, community leaders, or even older brothers and sisters to talk about their jobs as a fun break from class for your classmates. If you get enough speakers, make it a career week! Highlight a different job every day.\\n3. Keeping a Good Reputation\\n3-1. Keep your grades up.\\nYour classmates will admire your hard work and good grades! They might even ask you for help with their own homework.\\nAlthough blowing off homework or failing tests might not seem like a big deal--it might even seem cool!--your friends and classmates will eventually stop respecting you if you act like you don’t care about school.\\n3-2. Dress stylishly, but keep it appropriate.\\nWear clothes that make you look and, more importantly, feel great, while staying within your school’s dress code. Instead of wearing revealing tops or super-short shorts or skirts any tops, look for long, flowy skirts and comfy sweaters. Experiment with jewelry and shoes, too.\\nYou can still rock your personal style if your school has uniforms. Accessorize with funky jewelry, shoes, or tights. Wear a bold headband or shiny clips to catch people’s eyes.\\nBe true to your own style. If you feel best in sporty, casual clothes, you don’t need to jump right into wearing dresses every day. Start off by pairing a nice pair of jeans with a cool T-shirt. Mix in a skirt every once in awhile if you want, or just try tops that are a little fancier.\\n3-3. Stay true to what you know is right.\\nDon’t be afraid to say what you feel, even if it doesn’t seem like the popular thing to do at the time. Stand up for your values so that others respect you, and so you can respect yourself.\\nFor example, if it seems like all the popular kids are slacking off with their work but you know you need to get good grades, keep at it.\\nIf all the other girls start wearing a style of clothes you don’t feel comfortable in, don’t feel like you need to change.\\n3-4. Stand up to bullies.\\nGrab one of your friends to help you feel more confident. Make eye contact and say, “That’s really not okay. I think you should stop.” Stay calm and cool and don’t let them rile you up. If you feel like the situation might get dangerous, get a teacher’s help.\\nStanding up to bullies shows that you’re brave, confident, and care about your classmates.\\nStanding up to bullies can get you new friends and the teachers and classmates might notice what you have done and will pay attention to you. They might even notice you as a hero!\\n3-5. Stay away from drugs.\\nYou’ve probably heard it your whole life, but this rule is still pretty important. Alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes won’t make you more popular--they’ll just give you a bad reputation. Drugs will make you feel bad mentally and physically, and might even ruin your appearance. \\nTo politely say no to someone offering you drugs, say something like, “No thanks. It’s not really my thing.”\\nYou can also make up an excuse or even a light joke, by saying, “If my parents found out I was drinking, they’d never let me hang out with you again! And they find out everything I do, so it’s just not worth the risk.”\\nTips\\nFocus on your personality and talents. In middle school, you probably won’t be allowed to wear makeup, shave your legs, or dress provocatively. This is a great opportunity to show your classmates that what’s really beautiful about you is below the surface.\\nTry to look approachable. Most people are drawn towards someone who has a smile on their face and those who are nice and kind.\\nWhen you get to school on the first day of school, say \\\"Hello!\\\" to the person next to you start by introducing your name and asking for theirs. If you're new to the school, say something like \\\"I'm new to this school. Are you?\\\" If you're not new say,\\\"Are you new to this school?\\\" Keep the conversation going and everything might turn out okay!\\nWarnings\\nTry not to get involved in fights between groups of friends. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you should try to be polite and kind as much as possible.\\nBe careful about jealous classmates. Bullies could start out with dirty looks, but they may step it up by spreading rumors about you. Just be nice and treat them like you would anyone else. If this doesn’t work, ask for help from a teacher, parent, or guardian.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The movies say that being popular means gossiping and looking perfect, but that’s not actually true. What popularity is really about is befriending new people, following the trends that you also like, not acting weird or crazy, sharing your interests, showing enthusiasm about your school, and being someone your classmates can look up to. By being kind, friendly, and true to what you believe in, your classmates will love you if you follow these simple steps!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Building Your Social Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make friends with new people\", \"描述\": \"Start by just saying “Hi!”or \\\"Hello!\\\" to the person who sits next to you in class. Talk or complain about your homework, like, “That worksheet took me forever!” As you get to know them, start asking what’s new in their life. It’s hard at first, but the more people you talk to, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel.\\nTry sitting with somebody new at lunch. Say, “Wow, your sandwich looks good,” or, “Can you believe the cafeteria served pizza today?”\\nRelax and act normally when you talk to new people--you don’t want it to seem like you’re trying too hard. Let your new friendships progress slowly and naturally, and don’t force anyone to be your friend if they’re not interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to your new friends outside of school.\", \"描述\": \"Exchange phone numbers and talk or text them a few times a week. It can be something as simple as, “I’m so bored. What’s up with you?” Invite them to hang out by saying something like, “Do you want to go to the mall this weekend? My mom can drive!” \\nUse a cell phone if you have one, but it’s okay if you don’t. Ask your parents if it’s okay to talk to your friends on the landline. If they’re worried about you spending too much time on the phone, say you’ll limit it to just half an hour a day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Post on social media to boost your popularity.\", \"描述\": \"Follow your new friends and share funny videos, link to cool websites, and pictures of places you go. Use your pictures and posts to show who you really are and not the person you think people will like.\\nStay safe online. Don’t chat with people you don’t know and never be cruel to someone on social media.\\nIf your parents won’t allow you to have a social media account, remember that they’re only looking out for you. Ask them if you can have social media with some limitations, like not following anyone you don’t know. If they say you’re not old enough, ask what age is okay. Maybe it’s only a year or two! In the meantime, focus on making friends in school and in “real life.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay loyal to your “old” friends.\", \"描述\": \"Invite your old group when you make plans with your new friends, or hang out with your old friends separately if they don’t want to mix. Whatever you do, don’t choose popularity over true friendship and loyalty. These are the friends who’ve been there for you from the start, so make sure to show them how important they are to you. You know what they say; Find the gold but keep the bronze. \\nIf the popular kids won’t accept you still being friends with your old group, really think about if popularity is worth losing a lifelong friendship over.\\nIf your old friends are upset that you’re trying to be popular or feel left behind, be honest with them about it. Say, “I’m trying to make new friends and meet new people, but you know that no one could ever replace you.” Show you mean it by making plans with them or eating lunch with them at least a few times a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid changing yourself drastically to become popular.\", \"描述\": \"What makes you different and unique is what people will attract people to you, so embrace who you are! Loving yourself shows that you’re not ashamed of who you are, and that kind of confidence will make everyone want to be your friend.\\nListen to the music you love even if it’s not the top 10 hits. Wear clothes that make you feel great even if they’re not from a designer label. Maybe you love to knit or can spend hours reading--embrace those quirky habits!\\nIf your new friends pressure you to change your values or who you really are, they’re probably not people you want to be friends with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved in Your School\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Run for student government\", \"描述\": \"Ask your classmates what they want to see improved about the school. Pick the top three things that you can do and make that your campaign platform. You’ll become popular not just because people will know who you are, but because they’ll also respect you for your ideas and bravery.\\nThink of realistic ideas, like making school dances more fun or organizing cool assemblies and performances.\\nIf the idea of joining student government is too scary, or just not your thing, get involved in other ways! Join a club or sports team to meet new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show off your talents.\", \"描述\": \"It’s time to show your classmates what you’re great at! Even if you think your talent is uncool or weird, embracing it will show that you’re confident in who you are. And you’ll be surprised by how many other people might love your hobby, too! Here are some ideas to get you started:\\nIf you love to sing, dance, or act, act in school plays or enter a school talent show.\\nIf you love playing sports, join a team. Go for a sport you already love or try a new one to meet a whole new group of people.\\nIf you love writing or photography, work for the school newspaper or yearbook, if you have one.\\nIf you’re passionate about a particular subject, start a club for it or volunteer to tutor other kids who need help.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get excited about school events.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll get to know your new friends in a more relaxed way by hanging out with them outside of regular school hours. Have fun with it and take advantage of all the cool activities your school puts on.\\nShow your spirit by dressing up for school spirit days, cheering on your classmates at sports games, and supporting your friends at talent shows and music performances.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up new clubs, activities, and events.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it feels like nothing ever happens at your school, but you have the power to change that! Ask your teacher or principal how you can pitch your ideas for a new club or school activity, like a field trip or a cool assembly. Have a positive attitude, be kind and helpful. Here are a few other ideas to get you brainstorming:\\nStart a recycling program. If your school already has one, revamp it! Set up a competition between grades or homerooms to see who can recycle the most in a month. Offer a fun prize, like a pizza party, for the winner.\\nHold a career day. Invite parents, community leaders, or even older brothers and sisters to talk about their jobs as a fun break from class for your classmates. If you get enough speakers, make it a career week! Highlight a different job every day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keeping a Good Reputation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your grades up.\", \"描述\": \"Your classmates will admire your hard work and good grades! They might even ask you for help with their own homework.\\nAlthough blowing off homework or failing tests might not seem like a big deal--it might even seem cool!--your friends and classmates will eventually stop respecting you if you act like you don’t care about school.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress stylishly, but keep it appropriate.\", \"描述\": \"Wear clothes that make you look and, more importantly, feel great, while staying within your school’s dress code. Instead of wearing revealing tops or super-short shorts or skirts any tops, look for long, flowy skirts and comfy sweaters. Experiment with jewelry and shoes, too.\\nYou can still rock your personal style if your school has uniforms. Accessorize with funky jewelry, shoes, or tights. Wear a bold headband or shiny clips to catch people’s eyes.\\nBe true to your own style. If you feel best in sporty, casual clothes, you don’t need to jump right into wearing dresses every day. Start off by pairing a nice pair of jeans with a cool T-shirt. Mix in a skirt every once in awhile if you want, or just try tops that are a little fancier.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay true to what you know is right.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be afraid to say what you feel, even if it doesn’t seem like the popular thing to do at the time. Stand up for your values so that others respect you, and so you can respect yourself.\\nFor example, if it seems like all the popular kids are slacking off with their work but you know you need to get good grades, keep at it.\\nIf all the other girls start wearing a style of clothes you don’t feel comfortable in, don’t feel like you need to change.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stand up to bullies.\", \"描述\": \"Grab one of your friends to help you feel more confident. Make eye contact and say, “That’s really not okay. I think you should stop.” Stay calm and cool and don’t let them rile you up. If you feel like the situation might get dangerous, get a teacher’s help.\\nStanding up to bullies shows that you’re brave, confident, and care about your classmates.\\nStanding up to bullies can get you new friends and the teachers and classmates might notice what you have done and will pay attention to you. They might even notice you as a hero!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay away from drugs.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve probably heard it your whole life, but this rule is still pretty important. Alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes won’t make you more popular--they’ll just give you a bad reputation. Drugs will make you feel bad mentally and physically, and might even ruin your appearance. \\nTo politely say no to someone offering you drugs, say something like, “No thanks. It’s not really my thing.”\\nYou can also make up an excuse or even a light joke, by saying, “If my parents found out I was drinking, they’d never let me hang out with you again! And they find out everything I do, so it’s just not worth the risk.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Focus on your personality and talents. In middle school, you probably won’t be allowed to wear makeup, shave your legs, or dress provocatively. This is a great opportunity to show your classmates that what’s really beautiful about you is below the surface.\\n\", \"Try to look approachable. Most people are drawn towards someone who has a smile on their face and those who are nice and kind.\\n\", \"When you get to school on the first day of school, say \\\"Hello!\\\" to the person next to you start by introducing your name and asking for theirs. If you're new to the school, say something like \\\"I'm new to this school. Are you?\\\" If you're not new say,\\\"Are you new to this school?\\\" Keep the conversation going and everything might turn out okay!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Try not to get involved in fights between groups of friends. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but you should try to be polite and kind as much as possible.\\n\", \"Be careful about jealous classmates. Bullies could start out with dirty looks, but they may step it up by spreading rumors about you. Just be nice and treat them like you would anyone else. If this doesn’t work, ask for help from a teacher, parent, or guardian.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,052 | How to Be Popular in the Fifth Grade | 1. Getting Noticed
1-1. Let everyone see you having a great time.
Don't be in other peoples' shadows. If you want to get noticed, then you can't be known as the wallflower who hangs back at school dances or the girl who says nothing in class. You have to be known for your positive energy, your laughter, and your optimistic nature. You should be enjoying yourself, whether you're at the playground with your friends or learning about American history in class. You don't have to fake it, but you should work on being the kind of person who is able to find something to be happy about in almost any environment.
Okay, so you probably won't be cracking up in the middle of a science test. However, you should try to be as upbeat as you can, and to make other people want to be around you because of your positive energy. If you tend to be negative or whiny, people will be less inclined to hang out with you.
This doesn't mean that you should be fake or that you should pretend you're happy when you're really not. It does mean that you should work to think positively by pushing out those negative feelings, and to project your best self to the world. Everyone has bad days, and you don't have to force yourself to be chipper if you're feeling sad, but you should try to have more good days than bad.
1-2. Stand out — in a good way.
You probably won't be made more popular if you're known as the girl who spilled soda all over herself — though hey, that happens. But if you're known for always having ridiculously cute shoes, having a unique laugh, making loom bracelets at recess, or being able to talk to almost anybody, then people will notice you more often. You don't have to dye your hair pink or wear fake tattoos to get noticed; whatever you do has to be more subtle and less attention-calling than that. It's up to you to decide what you want your trademark to be.
It can be that people always see you walking your cute dog on the weekends. Really, it can be anything positive that makes you stand out more.
Start something new. In a time when not many kids are daring to take a risk, starting a club of your own can help you to stand out, to be someone who is different and willing to try new things. This will definitely get you noticed and is a great way to get something going that shows off your own passions and skills.
1-3. Be great at something.
If you're known for having a talent or a skill, such as having a great singing voice, being the best kickball player in your grade, or being really good at Spanish, then more people will know who you are and will respect you for it. You don't have to show off or to try to be the best at every little thing. In fact, it's far better if you're really, really good at one thing so that it makes you stand out. Pick something you care about and try to master it; soon, people will notice you for it.
Also, being really good at something can help you build up your confidence, because you'll feel like you have more to offer. It's a win-win situation.
If you work on mastering something that is a group effort, such as playing soccer or being in the school play, then this will also be a great way for you to get to know more people and to become more popular that way.
1-4. Build up your confidence.
Another way to get noticed is to build up your self-confidence. Though it's not always easy to feel confident about yourself, especially when you're in the fifth grade and feel a little bit uncertain about everything, but you can make an effort to like and be proud of the person you are and the person you're becoming. You can do this by hanging out with people who make you feel good, trying to excel in school and getting help if you need it, and by talking to people about the things you love. If your friends are being bullied, stand up to the bully. If you have confidence, people will notice it — and you — from a mile away.
If you're feeling insecure, it's perfectly okay. Talk to a friend about it and think about ways that you can improve yourself, from getting better at talking to new people, to succeeding in school. Making an effort is the first step.
1-5. Have confident body language.
You may not always feel confident, but looking confident can be half the battle. If you want people to notice you for being confident, then you have to make sure that your body reflects this. Your body language can do a lot of work for you, whether you're just walking down the halls or hanging out with friends. Plus, if your body language is more confident, it will trick you into feeling more confident, and that never hurt anybody. Here are some tricks to try if you want to have more confident body language:
Make eye contact when you talk to people
Stand tall instead of slouching
Have good posture, even when you're sitting
Don't cross your arms over your chest
Look straight ahead when you're walking, instead of down at the ground
Turn toward people when you talk to them, instead of away
1-6. Maintain good hygiene.
You don't have to look like a hair model to take good care of yourself. However, it's important to take care of your looks so that other people notice that you're treating yourself with respect. If you don't care at all how you look and leave the house looking sloppy, people will think you don't value yourself very much. This isn't about looking fake or like a celebrity — it's just about feeling like you're worth it enough to care for your looks. Here's what you should do:
Wash your hair every day or every other day, depending on your hair type
Brush your teeth every morning
Shower daily
Brush your hair before school
1-7. Wear clothes that make you feel good.
You don't need to keep up with the latest trends or to wear what all the cool kids are wearing to be popular. In fact, if you try to do that and end up wearing something that isn't you, then it won't look right. You can shop at trendy stores like Hollister, American Eagle, Justice, Delia's, or Forever 21 if that's what you like, fashion-wise, but only if it feels genuine to you. The more important thing is that your clothes are clean, fit well, and make you feel good.
You can also get some matching accessories, such as necklaces or hats, to go with your look. But you don't have to overdo it.
2. Being Social
2-1. Smile at people.
You may think that smiling just makes you look dopey or desperate, but this is far from the truth. Everyone loves a person who smiles at them, and smiling can make you feel better about yourself and it can make other people feel better about themselves as well. Make a habit of smiling at people when you pass them in the halls, at the bus stop, or even in class if you lock eyes. Smiling at people can help them put their guard down, and it will make you look more approachable so more people will want to talk to you.
You don't have to be maniacal about it. Don't seek out people to smile at, but do smile when you look at each other.
Smiling a lot will also give you a reputation for being friendly, and people will be more likely to come to you with questions or to ask you to play.
2-2. Be able to laugh at yourself.
If you slip and get your clothes dirty at school or do something that is embarrassing, just say "oops", and laugh about it and have fun with your friends instead of making a big deal about it. If you accidentally make an embarrassing comment in class or tell a joke that makes no sense, it will only seem like a big deal if you make it that way. If you're able to laugh, brush things off, and show that you don't take yourself too seriously, people will respect you more and will be more excited about hanging out with you.
Nobody wants to hang out with a person who is so serious that they are constantly afraid of offending them. If you can laugh at yourself, people will be much more excited to be in your orbit because they won't feel like they have to watch what they say.
2-3. Be friendly to everybody.
Don't just be nice to the "cool" kids and ignore the rest. Make a habit of being nice and friendly to everybody, unless that person gives you a reason not to be. Don't listen to what other people say and decide for yourself whether each person is really nice deep down instead of assuming that person is "weird" because of what someone says. You should appreciate every person for who he is, smile, ask how his or her day was, and know that you have something to learn from absolutely everybody. Having a reputation for being nice and friendly can only make you more popular.
The only time you shouldn't be friendly is if someone is treating you poorly. You don't want to be nice to the point where people are taking advantage of you.
Plus, think of it this way: you're only in fifth grade. Contrary to popular belief, the crowd of "popular kids" can change from elementary school to middle school to high school. If you're nice to everybody, then it's guaranteed that you're not alienating someone who will become popular later.
2-4. Keep things positive.
Though it's impossible to never, ever complain, you should work on being a source of positivity instead of negative energy. You should talk about the things you love, compliment people, discuss fun things that are just around the corner, such as summer vacation or a movie you really wanted to see, or just make a habit of keeping things upbeat when you're talking to people. You don't want people to think of you as the person who is always negative or whining about nothing, or they'll be less likely to hang out with you.
If you're known for being positive, then people will be more likely to want to spend time with you and to approach you. If people think that all you'll do when they talk to you is complain, they may steer clear of you.
2-5. Don't be fake.
Unfortunately, people can get fake in the fifth grade, if they are out to get something. They may smile at people they don't like, gossip too much, or just say things that they don't really believe in just to get attention. While this kind of behavior can boost your popularity in the short run, in the long run, you should try to avoid this kind of behavior and really work on being yourself. Let people know who you really are and don't be dishonest about your interests. If you're fake, people will be on to you pretty soon.
Though you may think that truly popular people backstab and gossip about each other all the time, truly popular people are so confident in themselves that they don't need to talk smack about people. Make sure that you don't fall into temptation and that you stay loyal to your friends. If people start gossiping around you, try to kindly change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation.
2-6. Be open to meeting new people.
If you really want to be social, then you can't just be social around the ten people you already know. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, you should be open to talking to completely new people, whether it's someone in another class or even another grade, or a new student in your class. If you're really comfortable with yourself, then you should have no problem talking to new people, introducing yourself, and seeing if you click. This is a key trait of truly popular people: they aren't afraid to put themselves out there a bit.
You don't have to be incredibly outgoing to be popular. Unfortunately, people who are shy get a bad reputation for being rude or standoffish. If you're too shy to strike up a conversation with a new person, you should still try to smile and be friendly when the person approaches you.
You shouldn't be closed off or think that you should avoid certain people because of their social status or reputation. Any person should be worth talking to as long as that person is nice and caring.
2-7. Take an interest in other people.
If you really want to be popular, then you have to show people that you care about who they are, not about talking about yourself all the time. You can still open up to people while taking an interest in what they care about, what their lives are like, and what plans they have coming up. When you hang out with people, make sure they are doing at least half of the talking, and that you don't dominate the conversation. Ask them questions about their classes, their pets, their siblings, the sports they like to play, or anything else they like to talk about. You can show that you're genuinely interested in them, instead of just bragging about yourself.
Though opening up to people is an important way to be social, make sure that the person has a chance to open up, too.
You don't have to ask too many questions at once. You don't want the people to feel like they are being interrogated. Just ask enough questions to show that you really do care.
3. Getting Involved
3-1. Get involved at your school.
There may not be as many ways to get involved at your school in the fifth grade as there will be in middle or high school, but you can still look for ways to get involved. You can join a foreign language club, pet lover's club, or even the student council. A lot of people like to run for school president or other student council positions to get known, and you can try that if it feels right for you. You can also help out your teachers after school, or find other ways to make your presence known in your school.
The more activities you get involved in, the more people will get to know who you are, and the more opportunities you'll have to meet people.
3-2. Get involved in your community.
Another way that you can get involved is to help out in your community. Though there may not be a ton of stuff you can do at your age, you can help your neighbors keep their lawns clean, walk dogs, help out at a local park or community, or help out a bake sale with your parents. If you go to church or another religious location, you may find a way to get involved in your community through that. If you help out in your community, you will have a stronger sense of self and will get to know more people.
Helping out in your community will also expose you to people of different ages and many different walks of life. This will help you gain popularity and feel proud of who you are.
3-3. Get involved in a sport.
If you're interested in sports and want to try being part of a team, it can be fun to be involved in a sport like cheerleading, soccer, volleyball, baseball, tennis, or really any sport that your school or community offers. You don't have to be the world's greatest athlete to be involved in a sport, and being a part of a sport will help you learn to work with others, develop communication skills, and to find your niche when it comes to team work. Anyone can play sports. Though it's not mandatory, being involved in a sport can help you become more involved and be more popular, if it's the right fit for you.
Don't be self-conscious if you don't feel athletic enough to join a sport. Give it a try first and see if you've found the best fit. If you don't like soccer, for example, try baseball. And if you just don't find it clicking with any sport, try another activity, such as painting or playing guitar, that may be more exciting for you.
3-4. Make a variety of different friends.
If you really want to be a truly social creature, then you should be involved with a variety of people in your life. You shouldn't just be friends with the same type of person over and over; instead, be friends, or at least friendly, with people who are more sporty, people who are more into computers, or people who are more shy. The more different types of people you're friends with, the more comfortable you'll be in any social environment, and the more well-known and popular you'll be.
Be bold and get to know people in different grades. People in younger grades will look up to you, and people in sixth grade (whether they're in middle school or your school) can give you some tips on how to survive in the higher grades.
Don't just limit yourself to your school. Be friends with your neighbors, people on your rec teams, or people from other schools. This will help you branch out and be comfortable with a variety of people.
3-5. Help others.
If a friend needs help, you should help them. If you study a lot you can help your friends study for tests and help a friend do their homework. Offer to help people and be kind. Do not be mean. Remember, being popular isn't about being mean. Never boss anyone and always help others.
Tips
Take compliments politely and give them a compliment too.
Do something different like: do something different with your hair, buy new clothes , do new fads.
Don't try to be friends with people who you think are popular. Try to be friends with people who share your interests.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:36",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Noticed\\n1-1. Let everyone see you having a great time.\\nDon't be in other peoples' shadows. If you want to get noticed, then you can't be known as the wallflower who hangs back at school dances or the girl who says nothing in class. You have to be known for your positive energy, your laughter, and your optimistic nature. You should be enjoying yourself, whether you're at the playground with your friends or learning about American history in class. You don't have to fake it, but you should work on being the kind of person who is able to find something to be happy about in almost any environment.\\nOkay, so you probably won't be cracking up in the middle of a science test. However, you should try to be as upbeat as you can, and to make other people want to be around you because of your positive energy. If you tend to be negative or whiny, people will be less inclined to hang out with you.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should be fake or that you should pretend you're happy when you're really not. It does mean that you should work to think positively by pushing out those negative feelings, and to project your best self to the world. Everyone has bad days, and you don't have to force yourself to be chipper if you're feeling sad, but you should try to have more good days than bad.\\n1-2. Stand out — in a good way.\\nYou probably won't be made more popular if you're known as the girl who spilled soda all over herself — though hey, that happens. But if you're known for always having ridiculously cute shoes, having a unique laugh, making loom bracelets at recess, or being able to talk to almost anybody, then people will notice you more often. You don't have to dye your hair pink or wear fake tattoos to get noticed; whatever you do has to be more subtle and less attention-calling than that. It's up to you to decide what you want your trademark to be.\\nIt can be that people always see you walking your cute dog on the weekends. Really, it can be anything positive that makes you stand out more.\\nStart something new. In a time when not many kids are daring to take a risk, starting a club of your own can help you to stand out, to be someone who is different and willing to try new things. This will definitely get you noticed and is a great way to get something going that shows off your own passions and skills.\\n1-3. Be great at something.\\nIf you're known for having a talent or a skill, such as having a great singing voice, being the best kickball player in your grade, or being really good at Spanish, then more people will know who you are and will respect you for it. You don't have to show off or to try to be the best at every little thing. In fact, it's far better if you're really, really good at one thing so that it makes you stand out. Pick something you care about and try to master it; soon, people will notice you for it.\\nAlso, being really good at something can help you build up your confidence, because you'll feel like you have more to offer. It's a win-win situation.\\nIf you work on mastering something that is a group effort, such as playing soccer or being in the school play, then this will also be a great way for you to get to know more people and to become more popular that way.\\n1-4. Build up your confidence.\\nAnother way to get noticed is to build up your self-confidence. Though it's not always easy to feel confident about yourself, especially when you're in the fifth grade and feel a little bit uncertain about everything, but you can make an effort to like and be proud of the person you are and the person you're becoming. You can do this by hanging out with people who make you feel good, trying to excel in school and getting help if you need it, and by talking to people about the things you love. If your friends are being bullied, stand up to the bully. If you have confidence, people will notice it — and you — from a mile away.\\nIf you're feeling insecure, it's perfectly okay. Talk to a friend about it and think about ways that you can improve yourself, from getting better at talking to new people, to succeeding in school. Making an effort is the first step.\\n1-5. Have confident body language.\\nYou may not always feel confident, but looking confident can be half the battle. If you want people to notice you for being confident, then you have to make sure that your body reflects this. Your body language can do a lot of work for you, whether you're just walking down the halls or hanging out with friends. Plus, if your body language is more confident, it will trick you into feeling more confident, and that never hurt anybody. Here are some tricks to try if you want to have more confident body language:\\nMake eye contact when you talk to people\\nStand tall instead of slouching\\nHave good posture, even when you're sitting\\nDon't cross your arms over your chest\\nLook straight ahead when you're walking, instead of down at the ground\\nTurn toward people when you talk to them, instead of away\\n1-6. Maintain good hygiene.\\nYou don't have to look like a hair model to take good care of yourself. However, it's important to take care of your looks so that other people notice that you're treating yourself with respect. If you don't care at all how you look and leave the house looking sloppy, people will think you don't value yourself very much. This isn't about looking fake or like a celebrity — it's just about feeling like you're worth it enough to care for your looks. Here's what you should do:\\nWash your hair every day or every other day, depending on your hair type\\nBrush your teeth every morning\\nShower daily\\nBrush your hair before school\\n1-7. Wear clothes that make you feel good.\\nYou don't need to keep up with the latest trends or to wear what all the cool kids are wearing to be popular. In fact, if you try to do that and end up wearing something that isn't you, then it won't look right. You can shop at trendy stores like Hollister, American Eagle, Justice, Delia's, or Forever 21 if that's what you like, fashion-wise, but only if it feels genuine to you. The more important thing is that your clothes are clean, fit well, and make you feel good.\\nYou can also get some matching accessories, such as necklaces or hats, to go with your look. But you don't have to overdo it.\\n2. Being Social\\n2-1. Smile at people.\\nYou may think that smiling just makes you look dopey or desperate, but this is far from the truth. Everyone loves a person who smiles at them, and smiling can make you feel better about yourself and it can make other people feel better about themselves as well. Make a habit of smiling at people when you pass them in the halls, at the bus stop, or even in class if you lock eyes. Smiling at people can help them put their guard down, and it will make you look more approachable so more people will want to talk to you.\\nYou don't have to be maniacal about it. Don't seek out people to smile at, but do smile when you look at each other.\\nSmiling a lot will also give you a reputation for being friendly, and people will be more likely to come to you with questions or to ask you to play.\\n2-2. Be able to laugh at yourself.\\nIf you slip and get your clothes dirty at school or do something that is embarrassing, just say \\\"oops\\\", and laugh about it and have fun with your friends instead of making a big deal about it. If you accidentally make an embarrassing comment in class or tell a joke that makes no sense, it will only seem like a big deal if you make it that way. If you're able to laugh, brush things off, and show that you don't take yourself too seriously, people will respect you more and will be more excited about hanging out with you.\\nNobody wants to hang out with a person who is so serious that they are constantly afraid of offending them. If you can laugh at yourself, people will be much more excited to be in your orbit because they won't feel like they have to watch what they say.\\n2-3. Be friendly to everybody.\\nDon't just be nice to the \\\"cool\\\" kids and ignore the rest. Make a habit of being nice and friendly to everybody, unless that person gives you a reason not to be. Don't listen to what other people say and decide for yourself whether each person is really nice deep down instead of assuming that person is \\\"weird\\\" because of what someone says. You should appreciate every person for who he is, smile, ask how his or her day was, and know that you have something to learn from absolutely everybody. Having a reputation for being nice and friendly can only make you more popular.\\nThe only time you shouldn't be friendly is if someone is treating you poorly. You don't want to be nice to the point where people are taking advantage of you.\\nPlus, think of it this way: you're only in fifth grade. Contrary to popular belief, the crowd of \\\"popular kids\\\" can change from elementary school to middle school to high school. If you're nice to everybody, then it's guaranteed that you're not alienating someone who will become popular later.\\n2-4. Keep things positive.\\nThough it's impossible to never, ever complain, you should work on being a source of positivity instead of negative energy. You should talk about the things you love, compliment people, discuss fun things that are just around the corner, such as summer vacation or a movie you really wanted to see, or just make a habit of keeping things upbeat when you're talking to people. You don't want people to think of you as the person who is always negative or whining about nothing, or they'll be less likely to hang out with you.\\nIf you're known for being positive, then people will be more likely to want to spend time with you and to approach you. If people think that all you'll do when they talk to you is complain, they may steer clear of you.\\n2-5. Don't be fake.\\nUnfortunately, people can get fake in the fifth grade, if they are out to get something. They may smile at people they don't like, gossip too much, or just say things that they don't really believe in just to get attention. While this kind of behavior can boost your popularity in the short run, in the long run, you should try to avoid this kind of behavior and really work on being yourself. Let people know who you really are and don't be dishonest about your interests. If you're fake, people will be on to you pretty soon.\\nThough you may think that truly popular people backstab and gossip about each other all the time, truly popular people are so confident in themselves that they don't need to talk smack about people. Make sure that you don't fall into temptation and that you stay loyal to your friends. If people start gossiping around you, try to kindly change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation.\\n2-6. Be open to meeting new people.\\nIf you really want to be social, then you can't just be social around the ten people you already know. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, you should be open to talking to completely new people, whether it's someone in another class or even another grade, or a new student in your class. If you're really comfortable with yourself, then you should have no problem talking to new people, introducing yourself, and seeing if you click. This is a key trait of truly popular people: they aren't afraid to put themselves out there a bit.\\nYou don't have to be incredibly outgoing to be popular. Unfortunately, people who are shy get a bad reputation for being rude or standoffish. If you're too shy to strike up a conversation with a new person, you should still try to smile and be friendly when the person approaches you.\\nYou shouldn't be closed off or think that you should avoid certain people because of their social status or reputation. Any person should be worth talking to as long as that person is nice and caring.\\n2-7. Take an interest in other people.\\nIf you really want to be popular, then you have to show people that you care about who they are, not about talking about yourself all the time. You can still open up to people while taking an interest in what they care about, what their lives are like, and what plans they have coming up. When you hang out with people, make sure they are doing at least half of the talking, and that you don't dominate the conversation. Ask them questions about their classes, their pets, their siblings, the sports they like to play, or anything else they like to talk about. You can show that you're genuinely interested in them, instead of just bragging about yourself.\\nThough opening up to people is an important way to be social, make sure that the person has a chance to open up, too.\\nYou don't have to ask too many questions at once. You don't want the people to feel like they are being interrogated. Just ask enough questions to show that you really do care.\\n3. Getting Involved\\n3-1. Get involved at your school.\\nThere may not be as many ways to get involved at your school in the fifth grade as there will be in middle or high school, but you can still look for ways to get involved. You can join a foreign language club, pet lover's club, or even the student council. A lot of people like to run for school president or other student council positions to get known, and you can try that if it feels right for you. You can also help out your teachers after school, or find other ways to make your presence known in your school.\\nThe more activities you get involved in, the more people will get to know who you are, and the more opportunities you'll have to meet people.\\n3-2. Get involved in your community.\\nAnother way that you can get involved is to help out in your community. Though there may not be a ton of stuff you can do at your age, you can help your neighbors keep their lawns clean, walk dogs, help out at a local park or community, or help out a bake sale with your parents. If you go to church or another religious location, you may find a way to get involved in your community through that. If you help out in your community, you will have a stronger sense of self and will get to know more people.\\nHelping out in your community will also expose you to people of different ages and many different walks of life. This will help you gain popularity and feel proud of who you are.\\n3-3. Get involved in a sport.\\nIf you're interested in sports and want to try being part of a team, it can be fun to be involved in a sport like cheerleading, soccer, volleyball, baseball, tennis, or really any sport that your school or community offers. You don't have to be the world's greatest athlete to be involved in a sport, and being a part of a sport will help you learn to work with others, develop communication skills, and to find your niche when it comes to team work. Anyone can play sports. Though it's not mandatory, being involved in a sport can help you become more involved and be more popular, if it's the right fit for you.\\nDon't be self-conscious if you don't feel athletic enough to join a sport. Give it a try first and see if you've found the best fit. If you don't like soccer, for example, try baseball. And if you just don't find it clicking with any sport, try another activity, such as painting or playing guitar, that may be more exciting for you.\\n3-4. Make a variety of different friends.\\nIf you really want to be a truly social creature, then you should be involved with a variety of people in your life. You shouldn't just be friends with the same type of person over and over; instead, be friends, or at least friendly, with people who are more sporty, people who are more into computers, or people who are more shy. The more different types of people you're friends with, the more comfortable you'll be in any social environment, and the more well-known and popular you'll be.\\nBe bold and get to know people in different grades. People in younger grades will look up to you, and people in sixth grade (whether they're in middle school or your school) can give you some tips on how to survive in the higher grades.\\nDon't just limit yourself to your school. Be friends with your neighbors, people on your rec teams, or people from other schools. This will help you branch out and be comfortable with a variety of people.\\n3-5. Help others.\\nIf a friend needs help, you should help them. If you study a lot you can help your friends study for tests and help a friend do their homework. Offer to help people and be kind. Do not be mean. Remember, being popular isn't about being mean. Never boss anyone and always help others.\\nTips\\nTake compliments politely and give them a compliment too.\\nDo something different like: do something different with your hair, buy new clothes , do new fads.\\nDon't try to be friends with people who you think are popular. Try to be friends with people who share your interests.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may think that being popular in the fifth grade is next to impossible. So fifth grade is the perfect time to work on your popularity, because you'll be heading off to middle school before you know it. You can use the fifth grade to revamp your image, become more social, and to get more involved in your school and your community. True popularity doesn't mean being a \\\"Mean Girl\\\" who is rude to nearly everyone who crosses her path. It means being well-liked, well-respected, and generally having a great time. So how do you get there? See Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Noticed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let everyone see you having a great time.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be in other peoples' shadows. If you want to get noticed, then you can't be known as the wallflower who hangs back at school dances or the girl who says nothing in class. You have to be known for your positive energy, your laughter, and your optimistic nature. You should be enjoying yourself, whether you're at the playground with your friends or learning about American history in class. You don't have to fake it, but you should work on being the kind of person who is able to find something to be happy about in almost any environment.\\nOkay, so you probably won't be cracking up in the middle of a science test. However, you should try to be as upbeat as you can, and to make other people want to be around you because of your positive energy. If you tend to be negative or whiny, people will be less inclined to hang out with you.\\nThis doesn't mean that you should be fake or that you should pretend you're happy when you're really not. It does mean that you should work to think positively by pushing out those negative feelings, and to project your best self to the world. Everyone has bad days, and you don't have to force yourself to be chipper if you're feeling sad, but you should try to have more good days than bad.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stand out — in a good way.\", \"描述\": \"You probably won't be made more popular if you're known as the girl who spilled soda all over herself — though hey, that happens. But if you're known for always having ridiculously cute shoes, having a unique laugh, making loom bracelets at recess, or being able to talk to almost anybody, then people will notice you more often. You don't have to dye your hair pink or wear fake tattoos to get noticed; whatever you do has to be more subtle and less attention-calling than that. It's up to you to decide what you want your trademark to be.\\nIt can be that people always see you walking your cute dog on the weekends. Really, it can be anything positive that makes you stand out more.\\nStart something new. In a time when not many kids are daring to take a risk, starting a club of your own can help you to stand out, to be someone who is different and willing to try new things. This will definitely get you noticed and is a great way to get something going that shows off your own passions and skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be great at something.\", \"描述\": \"If you're known for having a talent or a skill, such as having a great singing voice, being the best kickball player in your grade, or being really good at Spanish, then more people will know who you are and will respect you for it. You don't have to show off or to try to be the best at every little thing. In fact, it's far better if you're really, really good at one thing so that it makes you stand out. Pick something you care about and try to master it; soon, people will notice you for it.\\nAlso, being really good at something can help you build up your confidence, because you'll feel like you have more to offer. It's a win-win situation.\\nIf you work on mastering something that is a group effort, such as playing soccer or being in the school play, then this will also be a great way for you to get to know more people and to become more popular that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Build up your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to get noticed is to build up your self-confidence. Though it's not always easy to feel confident about yourself, especially when you're in the fifth grade and feel a little bit uncertain about everything, but you can make an effort to like and be proud of the person you are and the person you're becoming. You can do this by hanging out with people who make you feel good, trying to excel in school and getting help if you need it, and by talking to people about the things you love. If your friends are being bullied, stand up to the bully. If you have confidence, people will notice it — and you — from a mile away.\\nIf you're feeling insecure, it's perfectly okay. Talk to a friend about it and think about ways that you can improve yourself, from getting better at talking to new people, to succeeding in school. Making an effort is the first step.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have confident body language.\", \"描述\": \"You may not always feel confident, but looking confident can be half the battle. If you want people to notice you for being confident, then you have to make sure that your body reflects this. Your body language can do a lot of work for you, whether you're just walking down the halls or hanging out with friends. Plus, if your body language is more confident, it will trick you into feeling more confident, and that never hurt anybody. Here are some tricks to try if you want to have more confident body language:\\nMake eye contact when you talk to people\\nStand tall instead of slouching\\nHave good posture, even when you're sitting\\nDon't cross your arms over your chest\\nLook straight ahead when you're walking, instead of down at the ground\\nTurn toward people when you talk to them, instead of away\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to look like a hair model to take good care of yourself. However, it's important to take care of your looks so that other people notice that you're treating yourself with respect. If you don't care at all how you look and leave the house looking sloppy, people will think you don't value yourself very much. This isn't about looking fake or like a celebrity — it's just about feeling like you're worth it enough to care for your looks. Here's what you should do:\\nWash your hair every day or every other day, depending on your hair type\\nBrush your teeth every morning\\nShower daily\\nBrush your hair before school\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that make you feel good.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to keep up with the latest trends or to wear what all the cool kids are wearing to be popular. In fact, if you try to do that and end up wearing something that isn't you, then it won't look right. You can shop at trendy stores like Hollister, American Eagle, Justice, Delia's, or Forever 21 if that's what you like, fashion-wise, but only if it feels genuine to you. The more important thing is that your clothes are clean, fit well, and make you feel good.\\nYou can also get some matching accessories, such as necklaces or hats, to go with your look. But you don't have to overdo it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Social\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile at people.\", \"描述\": \"You may think that smiling just makes you look dopey or desperate, but this is far from the truth. Everyone loves a person who smiles at them, and smiling can make you feel better about yourself and it can make other people feel better about themselves as well. Make a habit of smiling at people when you pass them in the halls, at the bus stop, or even in class if you lock eyes. Smiling at people can help them put their guard down, and it will make you look more approachable so more people will want to talk to you.\\nYou don't have to be maniacal about it. Don't seek out people to smile at, but do smile when you look at each other.\\nSmiling a lot will also give you a reputation for being friendly, and people will be more likely to come to you with questions or to ask you to play.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be able to laugh at yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you slip and get your clothes dirty at school or do something that is embarrassing, just say \\\"oops\\\", and laugh about it and have fun with your friends instead of making a big deal about it. If you accidentally make an embarrassing comment in class or tell a joke that makes no sense, it will only seem like a big deal if you make it that way. If you're able to laugh, brush things off, and show that you don't take yourself too seriously, people will respect you more and will be more excited about hanging out with you.\\nNobody wants to hang out with a person who is so serious that they are constantly afraid of offending them. If you can laugh at yourself, people will be much more excited to be in your orbit because they won't feel like they have to watch what they say.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be friendly to everybody.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just be nice to the \\\"cool\\\" kids and ignore the rest. Make a habit of being nice and friendly to everybody, unless that person gives you a reason not to be. Don't listen to what other people say and decide for yourself whether each person is really nice deep down instead of assuming that person is \\\"weird\\\" because of what someone says. You should appreciate every person for who he is, smile, ask how his or her day was, and know that you have something to learn from absolutely everybody. Having a reputation for being nice and friendly can only make you more popular.\\nThe only time you shouldn't be friendly is if someone is treating you poorly. You don't want to be nice to the point where people are taking advantage of you.\\nPlus, think of it this way: you're only in fifth grade. Contrary to popular belief, the crowd of \\\"popular kids\\\" can change from elementary school to middle school to high school. If you're nice to everybody, then it's guaranteed that you're not alienating someone who will become popular later.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep things positive.\", \"描述\": \"Though it's impossible to never, ever complain, you should work on being a source of positivity instead of negative energy. You should talk about the things you love, compliment people, discuss fun things that are just around the corner, such as summer vacation or a movie you really wanted to see, or just make a habit of keeping things upbeat when you're talking to people. You don't want people to think of you as the person who is always negative or whining about nothing, or they'll be less likely to hang out with you.\\nIf you're known for being positive, then people will be more likely to want to spend time with you and to approach you. If people think that all you'll do when they talk to you is complain, they may steer clear of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't be fake.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, people can get fake in the fifth grade, if they are out to get something. They may smile at people they don't like, gossip too much, or just say things that they don't really believe in just to get attention. While this kind of behavior can boost your popularity in the short run, in the long run, you should try to avoid this kind of behavior and really work on being yourself. Let people know who you really are and don't be dishonest about your interests. If you're fake, people will be on to you pretty soon.\\nThough you may think that truly popular people backstab and gossip about each other all the time, truly popular people are so confident in themselves that they don't need to talk smack about people. Make sure that you don't fall into temptation and that you stay loyal to your friends. If people start gossiping around you, try to kindly change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be open to meeting new people.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be social, then you can't just be social around the ten people you already know. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, you should be open to talking to completely new people, whether it's someone in another class or even another grade, or a new student in your class. If you're really comfortable with yourself, then you should have no problem talking to new people, introducing yourself, and seeing if you click. This is a key trait of truly popular people: they aren't afraid to put themselves out there a bit.\\nYou don't have to be incredibly outgoing to be popular. Unfortunately, people who are shy get a bad reputation for being rude or standoffish. If you're too shy to strike up a conversation with a new person, you should still try to smile and be friendly when the person approaches you.\\nYou shouldn't be closed off or think that you should avoid certain people because of their social status or reputation. Any person should be worth talking to as long as that person is nice and caring.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Take an interest in other people.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be popular, then you have to show people that you care about who they are, not about talking about yourself all the time. You can still open up to people while taking an interest in what they care about, what their lives are like, and what plans they have coming up. When you hang out with people, make sure they are doing at least half of the talking, and that you don't dominate the conversation. Ask them questions about their classes, their pets, their siblings, the sports they like to play, or anything else they like to talk about. You can show that you're genuinely interested in them, instead of just bragging about yourself.\\nThough opening up to people is an important way to be social, make sure that the person has a chance to open up, too.\\nYou don't have to ask too many questions at once. You don't want the people to feel like they are being interrogated. Just ask enough questions to show that you really do care.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Involved\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get involved at your school.\", \"描述\": \"There may not be as many ways to get involved at your school in the fifth grade as there will be in middle or high school, but you can still look for ways to get involved. You can join a foreign language club, pet lover's club, or even the student council. A lot of people like to run for school president or other student council positions to get known, and you can try that if it feels right for you. You can also help out your teachers after school, or find other ways to make your presence known in your school.\\nThe more activities you get involved in, the more people will get to know who you are, and the more opportunities you'll have to meet people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get involved in your community.\", \"描述\": \"Another way that you can get involved is to help out in your community. Though there may not be a ton of stuff you can do at your age, you can help your neighbors keep their lawns clean, walk dogs, help out at a local park or community, or help out a bake sale with your parents. If you go to church or another religious location, you may find a way to get involved in your community through that. If you help out in your community, you will have a stronger sense of self and will get to know more people.\\nHelping out in your community will also expose you to people of different ages and many different walks of life. This will help you gain popularity and feel proud of who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get involved in a sport.\", \"描述\": \"If you're interested in sports and want to try being part of a team, it can be fun to be involved in a sport like cheerleading, soccer, volleyball, baseball, tennis, or really any sport that your school or community offers. You don't have to be the world's greatest athlete to be involved in a sport, and being a part of a sport will help you learn to work with others, develop communication skills, and to find your niche when it comes to team work. Anyone can play sports. Though it's not mandatory, being involved in a sport can help you become more involved and be more popular, if it's the right fit for you.\\nDon't be self-conscious if you don't feel athletic enough to join a sport. Give it a try first and see if you've found the best fit. If you don't like soccer, for example, try baseball. And if you just don't find it clicking with any sport, try another activity, such as painting or playing guitar, that may be more exciting for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a variety of different friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be a truly social creature, then you should be involved with a variety of people in your life. You shouldn't just be friends with the same type of person over and over; instead, be friends, or at least friendly, with people who are more sporty, people who are more into computers, or people who are more shy. The more different types of people you're friends with, the more comfortable you'll be in any social environment, and the more well-known and popular you'll be.\\nBe bold and get to know people in different grades. People in younger grades will look up to you, and people in sixth grade (whether they're in middle school or your school) can give you some tips on how to survive in the higher grades.\\nDon't just limit yourself to your school. Be friends with your neighbors, people on your rec teams, or people from other schools. This will help you branch out and be comfortable with a variety of people.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help others.\", \"描述\": \"If a friend needs help, you should help them. If you study a lot you can help your friends study for tests and help a friend do their homework. Offer to help people and be kind. Do not be mean. Remember, being popular isn't about being mean. Never boss anyone and always help others.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take compliments politely and give them a compliment too.\\n\", \"Do something different like: do something different with your hair, buy new clothes , do new fads.\\n\", \"Don't try to be friends with people who you think are popular. Try to be friends with people who share your interests.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,053 | How to Be Popular on Scratch | 1. Knowing The Basics
1-1. Be active.
If a person needs followers and friends they need to be more active. Being active will also help the person meet new people and increase the chances of them following the person. In fact, Scratch has people all over the world and each Scratcher lives in their own timeline zone and if a person becomes online once the person leaves it is most likely for the person not to be followed or viewed by that particular person.
1-2. Follow the community guidelines.
Scratch is a friendly place and is made for all ages, religion and cast. The person will come across many different people in Scratch. Be respectful towards people. A polite and friendly attitude will go a long way in winning more followers. Avoid keeping a negative attitude and follow community guidelines. If a person Ignores the community guidelines they will get responded in the following ways -
People can get banned(A person can get banned for a maximum of 4 times. After that, they will get permanently blacklisted.)
The number of followers the person is maintaining will decrease.
There is a chance that people who support the person unfollow you and spread hate.
There is an 80% chance of the person getting banned from Scratch forever.
1-3. Make good projects.
Making good quality projects increases your chances of getting featured. If your projects are popular, people will be more likely to follow your account. In fact, most of the Scratchers only follow the people who blow their mind with amazing projects for example Sterlon, a Scratcher, makes amazing animations and is followed by almost everyone.
1-4. Give credit when necessary.
By being or feeling shy or embarrassed to give credit the person will not grow higher in the website, and will also face problems. There are many remixes with a lot of views. Change the coding in all remixes or else others might report the project saying it is copied head to toe and people would comment or even tag the certain project to the team and the person will not only get a ban but will also lose a lot of followers.
1-5. Join studios.
By joining studios and adding projects to them people who are known as Scratchers will be aware that there is a good newcomer or a Scratcher and will follow the newcomer so that they can know what the person does in the website and get notified when the person shares a project! Apart from that studios are fun and can also be a hang out or a chill spot for others. By joining them there is a 100% chance of meeting new people.
1-6. Have a strong determination.
The website Scratch is a place for all, from adults to children but in the case of being famous the person needs a strong determination. The person needs to concentrate in a specific project or studio and perfect it to its full potential.By following this the person would really succeed. The person should not give up no matter what happens in the website as Scratchers mostly distract the bright ones.
1-7. Advertise.
Although advertising is often not good and can even sometimes get you banned, if you advertise on certain studios (eg: studios like "advertise!") your projects will likely get more views. You can also add projects to studios like, "become popular". However, avoid advertising on other people's projects, as you may get reported.
2. Applying the Basics
2-1. Be friendly.
In Scratch people who are friendly, helpful, and kind are respected by Scratchers. By being friendly the person may follow and trust the certain Scratcher and when a person trusts a Scratcher then it benefits the Scratcher as they will support and be on the person's side when falling into trouble. They will also help the person when the person needs followers and be there whenever the person faces problems.
2-2. Help others.
Remember Scratch is a community and communities help each other. Being famous doesn't need the brag of having a lot of followers or knowing a lot of Scratchers in personal, it is when a person is kind, helpful and when there to help for others in their hard times. For example the quote from on the pretty ones are usually unhappy, They expect everyone to be enamored of their beauty. How can a person be content when their happiness lies in someone else’s hands, ready to be crushed at any moment? Ordinary-looking people are far 1. superior, because they are forced to actually work hard to achieve their goals, instead of expecting people to fall all over themselves to help them.
2-3. Visit Forums and Contests.
Other than just coding Scratch has more fun things to do like forums and contests. The are a place where the Scratchers can meet up and share their skills with new beginners and the beginners can ask for help and so on! Other than forums Scratch has fun and exciting where people make projects according to the theme and the winner gets prizes that is awarded from the of scratch.mit.edu.
2-4. Contact the team.
Scratch is a website and websites are made by a specific person or an assembly of people, Scratch is a really popular website and can't be controlled by a singular person. The Scratch Team are a group of people who maintain Scratch and asking or contacting with them for help, doubts or anything can benefit the person as the Scratch Team are experienced Scratchers over the age of 18 from all around the world.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Knowing The Basics\\n1-1. Be active.\\nIf a person needs followers and friends they need to be more active. Being active will also help the person meet new people and increase the chances of them following the person. In fact, Scratch has people all over the world and each Scratcher lives in their own timeline zone and if a person becomes online once the person leaves it is most likely for the person not to be followed or viewed by that particular person.\\n1-2. Follow the community guidelines.\\nScratch is a friendly place and is made for all ages, religion and cast. The person will come across many different people in Scratch. Be respectful towards people. A polite and friendly attitude will go a long way in winning more followers. Avoid keeping a negative attitude and follow community guidelines. If a person Ignores the community guidelines they will get responded in the following ways -\\nPeople can get banned(A person can get banned for a maximum of 4 times. After that, they will get permanently blacklisted.)\\nThe number of followers the person is maintaining will decrease.\\nThere is a chance that people who support the person unfollow you and spread hate.\\nThere is an 80% chance of the person getting banned from Scratch forever.\\n1-3. Make good projects.\\nMaking good quality projects increases your chances of getting featured. If your projects are popular, people will be more likely to follow your account. In fact, most of the Scratchers only follow the people who blow their mind with amazing projects for example Sterlon, a Scratcher, makes amazing animations and is followed by almost everyone.\\n1-4. Give credit when necessary.\\nBy being or feeling shy or embarrassed to give credit the person will not grow higher in the website, and will also face problems. There are many remixes with a lot of views. Change the coding in all remixes or else others might report the project saying it is copied head to toe and people would comment or even tag the certain project to the team and the person will not only get a ban but will also lose a lot of followers.\\n1-5. Join studios.\\nBy joining studios and adding projects to them people who are known as Scratchers will be aware that there is a good newcomer or a Scratcher and will follow the newcomer so that they can know what the person does in the website and get notified when the person shares a project! Apart from that studios are fun and can also be a hang out or a chill spot for others. By joining them there is a 100% chance of meeting new people.\\n1-6. Have a strong determination.\\nThe website Scratch is a place for all, from adults to children but in the case of being famous the person needs a strong determination. The person needs to concentrate in a specific project or studio and perfect it to its full potential.By following this the person would really succeed. The person should not give up no matter what happens in the website as Scratchers mostly distract the bright ones.\\n1-7. Advertise.\\nAlthough advertising is often not good and can even sometimes get you banned, if you advertise on certain studios (eg: studios like \\\"advertise!\\\") your projects will likely get more views. You can also add projects to studios like, \\\"become popular\\\". However, avoid advertising on other people's projects, as you may get reported.\\n2. Applying the Basics\\n2-1. Be friendly.\\nIn Scratch people who are friendly, helpful, and kind are respected by Scratchers. By being friendly the person may follow and trust the certain Scratcher and when a person trusts a Scratcher then it benefits the Scratcher as they will support and be on the person's side when falling into trouble. They will also help the person when the person needs followers and be there whenever the person faces problems.\\n2-2. Help others.\\nRemember Scratch is a community and communities help each other. Being famous doesn't need the brag of having a lot of followers or knowing a lot of Scratchers in personal, it is when a person is kind, helpful and when there to help for others in their hard times. For example the quote from on the pretty ones are usually unhappy, They expect everyone to be enamored of their beauty. How can a person be content when their happiness lies in someone else’s hands, ready to be crushed at any moment? Ordinary-looking people are far 1. superior, because they are forced to actually work hard to achieve their goals, instead of expecting people to fall all over themselves to help them.\\n2-3. Visit Forums and Contests.\\nOther than just coding Scratch has more fun things to do like forums and contests. The are a place where the Scratchers can meet up and share their skills with new beginners and the beginners can ask for help and so on! Other than forums Scratch has fun and exciting where people make projects according to the theme and the winner gets prizes that is awarded from the of scratch.mit.edu.\\n2-4. Contact the team.\\nScratch is a website and websites are made by a specific person or an assembly of people, Scratch is a really popular website and can't be controlled by a singular person. The Scratch Team are a group of people who maintain Scratch and asking or contacting with them for help, doubts or anything can benefit the person as the Scratch Team are experienced Scratchers over the age of 18 from all around the world.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want to be famous on Scratch? If you want more followers, views, favorites, and loves, you've come to the right place! While releasing great games and other projects can increase your popularity, there's much more that goes into becoming a well-known Scratcher. This wikiHow article will teach you how to build your reputation and make tons of friends in the Scratch community.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing The Basics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be active.\", \"描述\": \"If a person needs followers and friends they need to be more active. Being active will also help the person meet new people and increase the chances of them following the person. In fact, Scratch has people all over the world and each Scratcher lives in their own timeline zone and if a person becomes online once the person leaves it is most likely for the person not to be followed or viewed by that particular person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow the community guidelines.\", \"描述\": \"Scratch is a friendly place and is made for all ages, religion and cast. The person will come across many different people in Scratch. Be respectful towards people. A polite and friendly attitude will go a long way in winning more followers. Avoid keeping a negative attitude and follow community guidelines. If a person Ignores the community guidelines they will get responded in the following ways -\\nPeople can get banned(A person can get banned for a maximum of 4 times. After that, they will get permanently blacklisted.)\\nThe number of followers the person is maintaining will decrease.\\nThere is a chance that people who support the person unfollow you and spread hate.\\nThere is an 80% chance of the person getting banned from Scratch forever.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make good projects.\", \"描述\": \"Making good quality projects increases your chances of getting featured. If your projects are popular, people will be more likely to follow your account. In fact, most of the Scratchers only follow the people who blow their mind with amazing projects for example Sterlon, a Scratcher, makes amazing animations and is followed by almost everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give credit when necessary.\", \"描述\": \"By being or feeling shy or embarrassed to give credit the person will not grow higher in the website, and will also face problems. There are many remixes with a lot of views. Change the coding in all remixes or else others might report the project saying it is copied head to toe and people would comment or even tag the certain project to the team and the person will not only get a ban but will also lose a lot of followers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Join studios.\", \"描述\": \"By joining studios and adding projects to them people who are known as Scratchers will be aware that there is a good newcomer or a Scratcher and will follow the newcomer so that they can know what the person does in the website and get notified when the person shares a project! Apart from that studios are fun and can also be a hang out or a chill spot for others. By joining them there is a 100% chance of meeting new people.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a strong determination.\", \"描述\": \"The website Scratch is a place for all, from adults to children but in the case of being famous the person needs a strong determination. The person needs to concentrate in a specific project or studio and perfect it to its full potential.By following this the person would really succeed. The person should not give up no matter what happens in the website as Scratchers mostly distract the bright ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Advertise.\", \"描述\": \"Although advertising is often not good and can even sometimes get you banned, if you advertise on certain studios (eg: studios like \\\"advertise!\\\") your projects will likely get more views. You can also add projects to studios like, \\\"become popular\\\". However, avoid advertising on other people's projects, as you may get reported.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Applying the Basics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friendly.\", \"描述\": \"In Scratch people who are friendly, helpful, and kind are respected by Scratchers. By being friendly the person may follow and trust the certain Scratcher and when a person trusts a Scratcher then it benefits the Scratcher as they will support and be on the person's side when falling into trouble. They will also help the person when the person needs followers and be there whenever the person faces problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help others.\", \"描述\": \"Remember Scratch is a community and communities help each other. Being famous doesn't need the brag of having a lot of followers or knowing a lot of Scratchers in personal, it is when a person is kind, helpful and when there to help for others in their hard times. For example the quote from on the pretty ones are usually unhappy, They expect everyone to be enamored of their beauty. How can a person be content when their happiness lies in someone else’s hands, ready to be crushed at any moment? Ordinary-looking people are far 1. superior, because they are forced to actually work hard to achieve their goals, instead of expecting people to fall all over themselves to help them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visit Forums and Contests.\", \"描述\": \"Other than just coding Scratch has more fun things to do like forums and contests. The are a place where the Scratchers can meet up and share their skills with new beginners and the beginners can ask for help and so on! Other than forums Scratch has fun and exciting where people make projects according to the theme and the winner gets prizes that is awarded from the of scratch.mit.edu.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Contact the team.\", \"描述\": \"Scratch is a website and websites are made by a specific person or an assembly of people, Scratch is a really popular website and can't be controlled by a singular person. The Scratch Team are a group of people who maintain Scratch and asking or contacting with them for help, doubts or anything can benefit the person as the Scratch Team are experienced Scratchers over the age of 18 from all around the world.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,054 | How to Be Popular on Tagged.Com | 1. Steps
1-1. Upload a nice profile picture!
Use your own, don't put cartoon characters, movie stars as a default. People will think that your hiding behind someone else, because you're ugly.
1-2. Customize your layout!
Make it look good! You can choose premade layouts or make your own. Just be original and different from the other members. Stand out!
1-3. Create an eye-catching or cool screenname.
For example "Run!It's Sally"! Don't over use "x" or "rawr". XxIxXAMXxSALLYxX isn't cute.
1-4. Keep the text clean.
DoN't TyPe lIkE tHIs. It gets annoying to read.
1-5. Upload music players,videos,pictures,and write in your journal.
Keep people updated about your life.
1-6. Accept all the friend requests you get!
The more friends you have,the more popular you are. Write something on their profile, introduce yourself. Just chat with them so they would keep coming back to you.
1-7. Be a top 8 member!
You can occasionally earn "tagged money",and you can spend it to be a top 8 user for a limited time. This is really useful, because multiple people will notice you. The top members can be seen on the home page,and it costs 1000 tagged cash.
1-8. Go into some of the chatrooms.
Just don't share your real name, telephone, address or any personal stuff with the other members! It's really dangerous.
Tips
You can edit your pictures with Photoshop, Gimp or other photo editors. Remove blemish, add some colour to the pic, make it look even nicer.
Edit your tagline! Add more words, so people would find you easier!
Talk with the other tagged.com members!
Warnings
Don't start gossip,or get into a web-fight with other members! You don't need all that extra drama in your life.
Don't upload pictures that are too personal, you never know who might see them. Also, don't put a star or cartoon character as your profile picture. It just makes the other members think that you're ugly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Upload a nice profile picture!\\nUse your own, don't put cartoon characters, movie stars as a default. People will think that your hiding behind someone else, because you're ugly.\\n1-2. Customize your layout!\\nMake it look good! You can choose premade layouts or make your own. Just be original and different from the other members. Stand out!\\n1-3. Create an eye-catching or cool screenname.\\nFor example \\\"Run!It's Sally\\\"! Don't over use \\\"x\\\" or \\\"rawr\\\". XxIxXAMXxSALLYxX isn't cute.\\n1-4. Keep the text clean.\\nDoN't TyPe lIkE tHIs. It gets annoying to read.\\n1-5. Upload music players,videos,pictures,and write in your journal.\\nKeep people updated about your life.\\n1-6. Accept all the friend requests you get!\\nThe more friends you have,the more popular you are. Write something on their profile, introduce yourself. Just chat with them so they would keep coming back to you.\\n1-7. Be a top 8 member!\\nYou can occasionally earn \\\"tagged money\\\",and you can spend it to be a top 8 user for a limited time. This is really useful, because multiple people will notice you. The top members can be seen on the home page,and it costs 1000 tagged cash.\\n1-8. Go into some of the chatrooms.\\nJust don't share your real name, telephone, address or any personal stuff with the other members! It's really dangerous.\\nTips\\nYou can edit your pictures with Photoshop, Gimp or other photo editors. Remove blemish, add some colour to the pic, make it look even nicer.\\nEdit your tagline! Add more words, so people would find you easier!\\nTalk with the other tagged.com members!\\nWarnings\\nDon't start gossip,or get into a web-fight with other members! You don't need all that extra drama in your life.\\nDon't upload pictures that are too personal, you never know who might see them. Also, don't put a star or cartoon character as your profile picture. It just makes the other members think that you're ugly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You already have an account on the social network tagged, but your profile views are really low? Do you want to increase them? Follow these steps and you will be more popular!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Upload a nice profile picture!\", \"描述\": \"Use your own, don't put cartoon characters, movie stars as a default. People will think that your hiding behind someone else, because you're ugly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Customize your layout!\", \"描述\": \"Make it look good! You can choose premade layouts or make your own. Just be original and different from the other members. Stand out!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create an eye-catching or cool screenname.\", \"描述\": \"For example \\\"Run!It's Sally\\\"! Don't over use \\\"x\\\" or \\\"rawr\\\". XxIxXAMXxSALLYxX isn't cute.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the text clean.\", \"描述\": \"DoN't TyPe lIkE tHIs. It gets annoying to read.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Upload music players,videos,pictures,and write in your journal.\", \"描述\": \"Keep people updated about your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accept all the friend requests you get!\", \"描述\": \"The more friends you have,the more popular you are. Write something on their profile, introduce yourself. Just chat with them so they would keep coming back to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be a top 8 member!\", \"描述\": \"You can occasionally earn \\\"tagged money\\\",and you can spend it to be a top 8 user for a limited time. This is really useful, because multiple people will notice you. The top members can be seen on the home page,and it costs 1000 tagged cash.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Go into some of the chatrooms.\", \"描述\": \"Just don't share your real name, telephone, address or any personal stuff with the other members! It's really dangerous.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can edit your pictures with Photoshop, Gimp or other photo editors. Remove blemish, add some colour to the pic, make it look even nicer.\\n\", \"Edit your tagline! Add more words, so people would find you easier!\\n\", \"Talk with the other tagged.com members!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't start gossip,or get into a web-fight with other members! You don't need all that extra drama in your life.\\n\", \"Don't upload pictures that are too personal, you never know who might see them. Also, don't put a star or cartoon character as your profile picture. It just makes the other members think that you're ugly.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,055 | How to Be Posh | 1. Acting Posh
1-1. Display good manners.
Posh people have good manners and know the boundaries in human relations. Always say "please" and "thank you" when the situation calls for it. Say "excuse me," greet people politely, and display good table manners—such as chewing with your mouth closed.
Also do not use your phone at the table or when talking to someone.
1-2. Avoid an arrogant attitude.
Although posh people are often wealthy or "high class," this does not mean they are arrogant. It’s important to be confident in yourself and your abilities, but do not think that you are better than anyone else. Treating everyone you meet as your equal is very posh.
1-3. Take responsibility for your actions and obligations.
Always show up and do your best at anything you commit to. For example, if you say you will throw a party for someone, do it and do it to your best ability. Or, if you make a mess while you’re a guest at someone’s home, make sure to clean up after yourself.
1-4. Be articulate.
Posh people have a large vocabulary and know when to employ it. However, posh people never force words into sentences that don't belong. Read and study to expand your vocabulary, but don’t use your knowledge to show off. Speak clearly and confidently.
1-5. Look for posh people you admire.
This person could be a friend, historical figure, or even a celebrity. Don't copy them precisely but do allow their way of being, their style, and attitudes have some influence on yours. That way, you can build a strong foundation on which to become a posh person in your own right.
Some examples of posh people are Emma Watson, Kate Middleton, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Eddie Redmayne.
1-6. Practice a posh accent.
A posh accent is often associated with the English aristocracy, as well with educational institutions, like Oxford. This accent is referred to as posh, but is actually called Upper Received Pronunciation English (Upper RP). Essentially, to sound this way, practice an English accent. Then, pronounce your consonants more fully. Also, pronounce vowels æ sound leaning more towards the “e” sound.
For example, when saying “man,” it will sound more like “men” in a posh accent.
Also, a weak “I” sound will sound more like an “e.” For example, “quickly” should be pronounced more like “queckly.”
2. Taking Part in Posh Activities
2-1. Make an effort to converse with others.
Take some time out of every day to have a conversation with someone. This could be a friend, coworker, or even your mail carrier. Display genuine interest in what they have to say, and most importantly, only say things that come from a place of kindness.
2-2. Attend parties you’ve been invited to.
It’s okay if you aren’t naturally outgoing, but make an effort to attend every gathering you’ve been invited to. Make sure to thank the host at the party and bring a small gift, such as a bottle of wine, for the host. While at the party, speak to as many people as possible and try to genuinely enjoy yourself.
As a gift, you could also bring flowers or an appetizer—such as a cheese plate.
2-3. Find a sociable hobby.
Look for a hobby that involves spending time with other people. Make sure it is something you’d enjoy. It could be soccer, a book club, or a painting class. Preferably, invest yourself in a hobby that involves improving yourself, whether it be mind or body.
2-4. Learn as much as you can.
Stay up-to-date on current events and read books whenever you have spare time. If you are in school, do your best to get good grades and benefit from your education. Even if you are well-educated, never miss an opportunity to learn from an elder or another intelligent person.
Read the newspaper, online or in print—such as The New York Times.
Watch the news—whichever news channel you prefer.
Read classics of literature—like Jane Eyre.
2-5. Send out thank-you letters.
Thank-you letters aren’t very common nowadays, but they are always polite and appreciated. Send a handwritten thank-you note whenever someone does anything kind for you, hosts a party, or gives you a gift. If you can’t send a handwritten note, at least send an e-mail.
3. Looking Posh
3-1. Practice good hygiene.
Brush your teeth at least twice a day, and take a shower on a daily basis. Washing your hair every day isn’t ideal for everyone, so wash and condition your hair as often as is best for your hair type. You should clean your nails and keep them trimmed. Essentially, keep yourself clean and healthy.
3-2. Exercise regularly.
Stay healthy by doing some kind of exercise at least 3 times a week. If possible, exercise 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes a day. Find a type of exercise that you enjoy. It could be running, swimming, or even dancing. Regular exercise will boost your energy and overall confidence.
3-3. Invest in your personal style.
You don’t have to adhere to one specific style to be posh. Find a style that makes you feel the most confident and invest in it. Find clothes and accessories in this style. This could be a preppy, retro, or even a hipster style.
Carry a statement handbag to instantly give your outfit an elegant, elevated look.
3-4. Choose fitted clothing made from classic fabrics.
Wear clothing that is not too tight or too baggy. Ideally, your clothing should be form-fitting. The fit and overall look of your outfit will look even better if you choose classic fabrics—such as cotton, wool, linen, and silk. These fabrics may be a bit more expensive, but it’s better to buy a few high quality items rather than a larger quantity.
3-5. Wear solid neutral colors.
If you have trouble finding a style that works for you, it is always a safe option to go for simple clothing in a neutral color. Some great neutral colors to choose from are white, navy blue, black, and gray. For example, you could wear a pair of navy blue slacks with a white sweater.
3-6. Wear simple accessories.
You can, of course, wear whatever accessories that appeal to you, but it is quite posh to choose just a few basic accessories. For example, choose a simple silver necklace with silver stud earrings. Or, wear a brown leather belt with brown loafers. Let your confidence shine through rather than letting your clothes speak for you.
Tie a scarf around your neck for a timeless look.
A leather belt is always great for tying your look together.
Opt for classic, elegant jewelry like a simple gold cuff bracelet and gold earrings.
Tips
You can take etiquette classes if you aren’t confident with your table or social etiquette.[22]
X
Research source
Warnings
Being posh does not mean being better than anyone else. Don’t act arrogantly or rudely to others.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acting Posh\\n1-1. Display good manners.\\nPosh people have good manners and know the boundaries in human relations. Always say \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\" when the situation calls for it. Say \\\"excuse me,\\\" greet people politely, and display good table manners—such as chewing with your mouth closed.\\nAlso do not use your phone at the table or when talking to someone.\\n1-2. Avoid an arrogant attitude.\\nAlthough posh people are often wealthy or \\\"high class,\\\" this does not mean they are arrogant. It’s important to be confident in yourself and your abilities, but do not think that you are better than anyone else. Treating everyone you meet as your equal is very posh.\\n1-3. Take responsibility for your actions and obligations.\\nAlways show up and do your best at anything you commit to. For example, if you say you will throw a party for someone, do it and do it to your best ability. Or, if you make a mess while you’re a guest at someone’s home, make sure to clean up after yourself.\\n1-4. Be articulate.\\nPosh people have a large vocabulary and know when to employ it. However, posh people never force words into sentences that don't belong. Read and study to expand your vocabulary, but don’t use your knowledge to show off. Speak clearly and confidently.\\n1-5. Look for posh people you admire.\\nThis person could be a friend, historical figure, or even a celebrity. Don't copy them precisely but do allow their way of being, their style, and attitudes have some influence on yours. That way, you can build a strong foundation on which to become a posh person in your own right.\\nSome examples of posh people are Emma Watson, Kate Middleton, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Eddie Redmayne.\\n1-6. Practice a posh accent. \\nA posh accent is often associated with the English aristocracy, as well with educational institutions, like Oxford. This accent is referred to as posh, but is actually called Upper Received Pronunciation English (Upper RP). Essentially, to sound this way, practice an English accent. Then, pronounce your consonants more fully. Also, pronounce vowels æ sound leaning more towards the “e” sound.\\nFor example, when saying “man,” it will sound more like “men” in a posh accent.\\nAlso, a weak “I” sound will sound more like an “e.” For example, “quickly” should be pronounced more like “queckly.”\\n2. Taking Part in Posh Activities\\n2-1. Make an effort to converse with others.\\nTake some time out of every day to have a conversation with someone. This could be a friend, coworker, or even your mail carrier. Display genuine interest in what they have to say, and most importantly, only say things that come from a place of kindness.\\n2-2. Attend parties you’ve been invited to.\\nIt’s okay if you aren’t naturally outgoing, but make an effort to attend every gathering you’ve been invited to. Make sure to thank the host at the party and bring a small gift, such as a bottle of wine, for the host. While at the party, speak to as many people as possible and try to genuinely enjoy yourself.\\nAs a gift, you could also bring flowers or an appetizer—such as a cheese plate.\\n2-3. Find a sociable hobby.\\nLook for a hobby that involves spending time with other people. Make sure it is something you’d enjoy. It could be soccer, a book club, or a painting class. Preferably, invest yourself in a hobby that involves improving yourself, whether it be mind or body.\\n2-4. Learn as much as you can.\\nStay up-to-date on current events and read books whenever you have spare time. If you are in school, do your best to get good grades and benefit from your education. Even if you are well-educated, never miss an opportunity to learn from an elder or another intelligent person.\\nRead the newspaper, online or in print—such as The New York Times.\\nWatch the news—whichever news channel you prefer.\\nRead classics of literature—like Jane Eyre.\\n2-5. Send out thank-you letters.\\nThank-you letters aren’t very common nowadays, but they are always polite and appreciated. Send a handwritten thank-you note whenever someone does anything kind for you, hosts a party, or gives you a gift. If you can’t send a handwritten note, at least send an e-mail.\\n3. Looking Posh\\n3-1. Practice good hygiene.\\nBrush your teeth at least twice a day, and take a shower on a daily basis. Washing your hair every day isn’t ideal for everyone, so wash and condition your hair as often as is best for your hair type. You should clean your nails and keep them trimmed. Essentially, keep yourself clean and healthy.\\n3-2. Exercise regularly.\\nStay healthy by doing some kind of exercise at least 3 times a week. If possible, exercise 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes a day. Find a type of exercise that you enjoy. It could be running, swimming, or even dancing. Regular exercise will boost your energy and overall confidence.\\n3-3. Invest in your personal style.\\nYou don’t have to adhere to one specific style to be posh. Find a style that makes you feel the most confident and invest in it. Find clothes and accessories in this style. This could be a preppy, retro, or even a hipster style.\\nCarry a statement handbag to instantly give your outfit an elegant, elevated look.\\n3-4. Choose fitted clothing made from classic fabrics.\\nWear clothing that is not too tight or too baggy. Ideally, your clothing should be form-fitting. The fit and overall look of your outfit will look even better if you choose classic fabrics—such as cotton, wool, linen, and silk. These fabrics may be a bit more expensive, but it’s better to buy a few high quality items rather than a larger quantity.\\n3-5. Wear solid neutral colors.\\nIf you have trouble finding a style that works for you, it is always a safe option to go for simple clothing in a neutral color. Some great neutral colors to choose from are white, navy blue, black, and gray. For example, you could wear a pair of navy blue slacks with a white sweater.\\n3-6. Wear simple accessories.\\nYou can, of course, wear whatever accessories that appeal to you, but it is quite posh to choose just a few basic accessories. For example, choose a simple silver necklace with silver stud earrings. Or, wear a brown leather belt with brown loafers. Let your confidence shine through rather than letting your clothes speak for you.\\nTie a scarf around your neck for a timeless look.\\nA leather belt is always great for tying your look together.\\nOpt for classic, elegant jewelry like a simple gold cuff bracelet and gold earrings.\\nTips\\nYou can take etiquette classes if you aren’t confident with your table or social etiquette.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nBeing posh does not mean being better than anyone else. Don’t act arrogantly or rudely to others.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being posh is often associated with wealth or class, but in truth, anyone can be posh. To be posh, you just need to invent your own definition of elegance, style, and sociability. Along with these aspects of poshness, you should also be confident and acknowledge your own self-importance. If you believe you are posh, others will think the same about you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acting Posh\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Display good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Posh people have good manners and know the boundaries in human relations. Always say \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you\\\" when the situation calls for it. Say \\\"excuse me,\\\" greet people politely, and display good table manners—such as chewing with your mouth closed.\\nAlso do not use your phone at the table or when talking to someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid an arrogant attitude.\", \"描述\": \"Although posh people are often wealthy or \\\"high class,\\\" this does not mean they are arrogant. It’s important to be confident in yourself and your abilities, but do not think that you are better than anyone else. Treating everyone you meet as your equal is very posh.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take responsibility for your actions and obligations.\", \"描述\": \"Always show up and do your best at anything you commit to. For example, if you say you will throw a party for someone, do it and do it to your best ability. Or, if you make a mess while you’re a guest at someone’s home, make sure to clean up after yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be articulate.\", \"描述\": \"Posh people have a large vocabulary and know when to employ it. However, posh people never force words into sentences that don't belong. Read and study to expand your vocabulary, but don’t use your knowledge to show off. Speak clearly and confidently.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look for posh people you admire.\", \"描述\": \"This person could be a friend, historical figure, or even a celebrity. Don't copy them precisely but do allow their way of being, their style, and attitudes have some influence on yours. That way, you can build a strong foundation on which to become a posh person in your own right.\\nSome examples of posh people are Emma Watson, Kate Middleton, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Eddie Redmayne.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice a posh accent.\", \"描述\": \"A posh accent is often associated with the English aristocracy, as well with educational institutions, like Oxford. This accent is referred to as posh, but is actually called Upper Received Pronunciation English (Upper RP). Essentially, to sound this way, practice an English accent. Then, pronounce your consonants more fully. Also, pronounce vowels æ sound leaning more towards the “e” sound.\\nFor example, when saying “man,” it will sound more like “men” in a posh accent.\\nAlso, a weak “I” sound will sound more like an “e.” For example, “quickly” should be pronounced more like “queckly.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Part in Posh Activities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to converse with others.\", \"描述\": \"Take some time out of every day to have a conversation with someone. This could be a friend, coworker, or even your mail carrier. Display genuine interest in what they have to say, and most importantly, only say things that come from a place of kindness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attend parties you’ve been invited to.\", \"描述\": \"It’s okay if you aren’t naturally outgoing, but make an effort to attend every gathering you’ve been invited to. Make sure to thank the host at the party and bring a small gift, such as a bottle of wine, for the host. While at the party, speak to as many people as possible and try to genuinely enjoy yourself.\\nAs a gift, you could also bring flowers or an appetizer—such as a cheese plate.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a sociable hobby.\", \"描述\": \"Look for a hobby that involves spending time with other people. Make sure it is something you’d enjoy. It could be soccer, a book club, or a painting class. Preferably, invest yourself in a hobby that involves improving yourself, whether it be mind or body.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn as much as you can.\", \"描述\": \"Stay up-to-date on current events and read books whenever you have spare time. If you are in school, do your best to get good grades and benefit from your education. Even if you are well-educated, never miss an opportunity to learn from an elder or another intelligent person.\\nRead the newspaper, online or in print—such as The New York Times.\\nWatch the news—whichever news channel you prefer.\\nRead classics of literature—like Jane Eyre.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send out thank-you letters.\", \"描述\": \"Thank-you letters aren’t very common nowadays, but they are always polite and appreciated. Send a handwritten thank-you note whenever someone does anything kind for you, hosts a party, or gives you a gift. If you can’t send a handwritten note, at least send an e-mail.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking Posh\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"Brush your teeth at least twice a day, and take a shower on a daily basis. Washing your hair every day isn’t ideal for everyone, so wash and condition your hair as often as is best for your hair type. You should clean your nails and keep them trimmed. Essentially, keep yourself clean and healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Stay healthy by doing some kind of exercise at least 3 times a week. If possible, exercise 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes a day. Find a type of exercise that you enjoy. It could be running, swimming, or even dancing. Regular exercise will boost your energy and overall confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Invest in your personal style.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to adhere to one specific style to be posh. Find a style that makes you feel the most confident and invest in it. Find clothes and accessories in this style. This could be a preppy, retro, or even a hipster style.\\nCarry a statement handbag to instantly give your outfit an elegant, elevated look.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose fitted clothing made from classic fabrics.\", \"描述\": \"Wear clothing that is not too tight or too baggy. Ideally, your clothing should be form-fitting. The fit and overall look of your outfit will look even better if you choose classic fabrics—such as cotton, wool, linen, and silk. These fabrics may be a bit more expensive, but it’s better to buy a few high quality items rather than a larger quantity.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear solid neutral colors.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble finding a style that works for you, it is always a safe option to go for simple clothing in a neutral color. Some great neutral colors to choose from are white, navy blue, black, and gray. For example, you could wear a pair of navy blue slacks with a white sweater.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wear simple accessories.\", \"描述\": \"You can, of course, wear whatever accessories that appeal to you, but it is quite posh to choose just a few basic accessories. For example, choose a simple silver necklace with silver stud earrings. Or, wear a brown leather belt with brown loafers. Let your confidence shine through rather than letting your clothes speak for you.\\nTie a scarf around your neck for a timeless look.\\nA leather belt is always great for tying your look together.\\nOpt for classic, elegant jewelry like a simple gold cuff bracelet and gold earrings.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can take etiquette classes if you aren’t confident with your table or social etiquette.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Being posh does not mean being better than anyone else. Don’t act arrogantly or rudely to others.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,056 | How to Be Positive | 1. Starting With Yourself
1-1. Accept where you are.
You can't change the way you think if you can't (or won’t) identify the problem. Accepting that you have negative thoughts and feelings, and that you don’t enjoy how you’re currently responding to them, can help you begin the process of change.
Try not to judge yourself for your thoughts or feelings. Remember: the thoughts that pop up or the feelings you experience are not inherently “good” or “bad,” they’re just thoughts and feelings. What you can control is how you interpret and respond to them.
Accept the things about yourself that you can’t change, too. For example, if you’re an introverted person who needs quiet time alone to “recharge,” trying to be an extrovert all the time will probably just make you feel drained and unhappy. Accept yourself for who you are right now, just as you are. You can then feel free to develop that self into the most positive self you can be!
1-2. Make goals.
Goals give us a more positive outlook on life. Research has shown that setting a realistic goal can make you feel immediately more confident and boost your self-efficacy, even if you don’t achieve the goal right away. Setting goals that are personally meaningful to you and align with your values will help you achieve them and move forward in your life.
Start small with your goals. Don't shoot for the moon right away. Slow and steady wins the race. Make your goals specific. The goal “be more positive” is great, but it’s so huge you probably won’t have any idea how to start. Instead, set smaller specific goals, like “Meditate twice a week” or “Smile at a stranger once a day.”
Word your goals positively. Research shows that you’re more likely to achieve your goals if you word them positively. In other words, make your goals something you’re working toward, not trying to avoid. For example: “Stop eating junk food” is an unhelpful goal. It can cause feelings of shame or guilt. “Eat 3 servings of fruit and vegetables each day” is specific and positive.
Keep your goals based on your own actions and centre yourself. Remember that you can’t control anyone else. If you set goals that require a certain response from others, you may end up feeling down if things don’t go as you hoped. Instead, set goals that depend on what you can control -- your own performance.
1-3. Practice loving-kindness meditation.
Also known as metta bhavana or “compassion meditation,” this type of meditation has roots in Buddhist traditions. It teaches you to extend the feelings of love you already feel for your closest family members and extend it to others in the world. It’s also been shown to improve your resilience -- your ability to bounce back from negative experiences -- and your relationships with others in just a few weeks. You can see positive effects in as little as five minutes a day.
Many places offer courses in compassion meditation. You can also check out some guided MP3 meditations online. The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society and the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center both have free downloadable loving-kindness meditations.
It turns out that loving-kindness meditation is also good for your mental health. Studies have shown that compassion meditation decreases symptoms of depression, suggesting that learning compassion for others may also help you extend compassion to yourself.
1-4. Keep a journal.
Recent research suggests there’s actually a mathematical formula for positivity: three positive emotions for every negative emotion seems to keep you in a healthy balance. Keeping a journal can help you see all of the emotional experiences in your day and determine where your own ratio needs adjustment. It can also help you focus on your positive experiences so that you’re more likely to remember them for later.
Keeping a journal should be more than just a list of things you didn’t like. Research suggests that focusing only on the negative emotions and experiences in your journal will reinforce them, leading you to feel more negative.
Instead, write down what you felt, without judging it as either good or bad. For example, a negative experience might look like this: “I felt hurt today when my coworker made a joke about my weight.”
Then, think about your response. How did you respond in the moment? How would you choose to respond now, with a little distance? For example: “In the moment, I felt horrible about myself, like I was worthless. Now thinking back on it, I realize that my coworker says insensitive things to everyone. Someone else can’t define me or my worth. Only I can do that.”
Try to think about how you can use these experiences as learning experiences. How can you use this for personal growth? What will you do next time? For example: “Next time someone says something hurtful, I will remember that their judgments do not define me. I will also tell my coworker that his comments are insensitive and hurt my feelings so that I remember my feelings are important.”
Remember to include the positive things in your journal too! Taking even a few moments to note down a kindness from a stranger, a beautiful sunset, or an enjoyable chat with a friend will help you “store” these memories so that you can recall them later. Unless you focus on them, they’re likely to pass right by your notice.
1-5. Practice active gratitude.
Gratitude is more than a feeling, it’s a doing. Dozens of studies have shown that gratitude is good for you. It changes your perspective almost immediately, and the rewards keep growing the more you practice. Gratitude helps you feel more positive, enhances your relationships with others, encourages compassion, and increases feelings of happiness.
Some people are naturally higher in “trait gratitude,” the natural state of feeling thankful. However, you can foster an “attitude of gratitude” no matter what level of “trait gratitude” you naturally have!
In relationships and situations, avoid approaching them like you “deserve” something from them. This doesn’t mean that you believe you deserve nothing, and it doesn’t mean you put up with mistreatment or disrespect. It just means that you should try to approach things without feeling like you’re “entitled” to a certain result, action, or benefit.
Share your gratitude with others. Sharing your feelings of gratitude with others helps you “set” those feelings in your memory. It can also inspire positive feelings in the people you share with. See if you have a friend who’ll be your “gratitude partner” and share three things for which you’re grateful with each other every day.
Make an effort to recognize all the little positive things that happen throughout the day. Write them down in a journal, snap photos for your Instagram, write about them on Twitter -- whatever helps you recognize and remember these small things for which you’re grateful. For example, if your blueberry pancakes turned out just right, or the traffic to work wasn’t bad, or your friend gave you a compliment on your outfit, note these things! They add up quickly.
Savor these good things. Humans have a bad tendency to focus on the negative stuff and let the positive things slide right past us. When you note the positive things in your life, take a moment to mindfully acknowledge them. Try to “store them” in your memory. For example, if you see a beautiful flower garden on your daily walk, stop for a moment and tell yourself, “This is a beautiful moment, and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it.” Try to take a mental “snapshot” of the moment. Doing so can help you remember these things later, when you’re having a hard time or a negative experience.
1-6. Use self-affirmations.
Self-affirmations may seem a little cheesy, but research suggests that they work on a fundamental level; they can actually form new “positive thought” neuron clusters. Remember: your brain likes to use short-cuts, and it will short-cut to use the pathways that are used most frequently. If you make it a regular habit to say compassionate things to yourself, your brain will come to see that as the “norm.” Positive self-talk and self-affirmations can also reduce stress and depression, boost your immune system, and increase your coping skills.
Choose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. You might choose to use affirmations that show compassion to your body, to your thoughts about yourself, or to remind yourself of your spiritual traditions. Whatever makes you feel positive and tranquil about yourself, do it!
For example, you might say something like “My body is healthy and my mind is beautiful” or “Today I will do my best to be kind” or “Today my deity/spiritual figure is with me as I go through the day.”
If you struggle with a particular area, try actively focusing on finding positive affirmations in that area. For example, if you have body image issues, try saying something like, “I am beautiful and strong” or “I can learn to love myself as I love others” or “I am worthy of love and respect.”
1-7. Cultivate optimism.
Researchers in the 1970s discovered that among people who had won the lottery -- an event that most of us probably think of as incredibly positive -- were no happier after a year than people who hadn’t. This is because of hedonic adaptation: humans have a “baseline” of happiness to which we return after external events (good or bad). However, even if your natural baseline is pretty low, you can actively cultivate optimism. Optimism improves your self-esteem, overall sense of well-being, and relationships with others.
Optimism is a way of interpreting the world. Thanks to the human brain’s flexibility, you can learn different ways of interpreting! Pessimistic outlooks view the world in unchangeable, internalized terms: “Everything is unfair,” “I’ll never be able to change this,” “My life sucks and it’s my fault.” An optimistic outlook views the world in flexible, limited terms.
For example, a pessimistic outlook might look at the big cello recital you have next week and say, “I already suck at cello. I’m going to botch the recital anyway. I might as well just play Nintendo.” This statement makes an assumption that your cello skills are innate and permanent, rather than something you can influence with hard work. It also makes a global blaming statement about you -- “I suck at cello” -- that makes it seem like your cello skills are a personal failing, rather than a skill that needs practice. This pessimistic outlook could mean you don’t practice the cello because you feel like it’s pointless, or you feel guilty because you’re “bad” at something. Neither is helpful.
An optimistic outlook would approach this situation something like this: “That big cello recital is next week, and I’m not happy with where I’m at right now. I’m going to practice an extra hour every day until the recital, and then just do my best. That’s all I can do, but at least I’ll know I worked as hard as I could to succeed.” Optimism doesn’t say challenges and negative experiences don’t exist. It chooses to interpret them differently.
There’s a big difference between true optimism and “blind” optimism. Blind optimism might expect that you pick up the cello for the first time and get admitted to the Juilliard School. This isn’t realistic, and such expectations could leave you disappointed. True optimism acknowledges the reality of your situation and allows you to prepare yourself to face them. A truly optimistic perspective might instead expect that you’ll need to work hard for several years and even then you might not be admitted to your dream school, but you will have done all that you can to achieve your goal.
1-8. Learn to reframe negative experiences.
One of the mistakes people make is trying to avoid or ignore negative experiences. This makes sense, on some level, because they’re painful. However, trying to repress or ignore these experiences actually damages your ability to deal with them. Instead, consider how you can reframe these experiences. Can you learn from them? Can you view them differently?
For example, consider inventor Myshkin Ingawale. In a 2012 TED Talk, Ingawale told the story about how he invented technology to save pregnant women’s lives in rural India. The first 32 times he tried to invent his device, it didn’t work. Again and again, he was faced with the opportunity to interpret his experience as failure and give up. However, he chose to use these experiences to learn from past challenges, and now his invention has helped reduce deaths of pregnant women in rural India by 50%.
As another example, consider Dr. Viktor Frankl, who was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust. Despite being faced with the worst of humanity, Dr. Frankl chose to interpret his situation on his own terms, writing that “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Instead of letting yourself immediately respond to a challenge or negative experience with negativity, take a step back and examine the situation. What really went wrong? What is really at stake? What can you learn from this to do differently next time? Has this experience taught you to be kinder, more generous, wiser, stronger? Taking a moment to reflect on the experience, rather than automatically seeing it as negative, will help you re-interpret it.
1-9. Use your body.
Your body and your mind are intimately connected. If you’re struggling to feel positive, it could be because your body is working against you. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has shown that your posture can even affect the levels of stress hormones in your body. Try standing up straight. Hold your shoulders back and your chest forward. Hold your gaze in front of you. Take up space. This is called a “power pose,” and it can actually help you feel more confident and optimistic.
Smile. Research suggests that when you smile -- whether you “feel” happy or not -- your brain elevates your mood. This is particularly true if you use a duchenne smile, which activates the muscles around your eyes as well as your mouth. People who smiled during painful medical procedures even reported less pain than people who didn’t.
Dress in a way that expresses yourself. What you wear affects how you feel. One study showed that people who wore lab coats while performing a simple scientific task performed much better than people who didn’t wear lab coats -- even though the coat was the only difference! Find clothes that make you feel good about yourself and wear them, no matter what society tries to say about it. And don’t get hung up on investing your size with any meaning: clothing sizes are completely arbitrary, and one store’s size 4 is another store’s size 12. Remember, no random number determines your worth!
1-10. Get some exercise.
When you exercise, your body releases powerful endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. Exercise can help fight feelings of anxiety and depression. Studies have also shown that regular, moderate exercise increases your feelings of calmness and well-being.
Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity every day.
You don’t have to be a bodybuilder to get the effects of exercise, either. Even moderate exercises like jogging, swimming, or gardening can help you feel more positive overall.
Exercises that include meditation, such as yoga and tai chi, can also help you feel more positive and increase your overall health.
1-11. Create life from within.
If you want more success, focus on all the ways that you are already successful. If you want more love, focus on all the people that already care about you and the abundance of love you have to give to others. If you want to create greater health, focus on all the ways that you are healthy, and so on and so forth.
1-12. Don't sweat the small stuff
Everyone in life is confronted with things that seem important at the time but aren't really an issue if we step back and have proper perspective. Research has shown that those material things that may be getting you down won’t actually make you happy. In fact, focusing on things is often a way to make up for other needs that aren’t fulfilled. Research suggests that we need five basic things to flourish in life:
Positive emotions
Engagement (getting really involved or swept up in something)
Relationships with others
Meaning
Accomplishment
Remember that you can define what these things mean for yourself! Don’t get hung up on what others have defined as “meaning” or “accomplishment.” If you don’t find personal meaning in what you do and how you act, you won’t feel good about it. Material objects, fame, and money really won’t make you happy.
2. Surrounding Yourself With Positive Influences
2-1. Use the Law of Attraction
Our activity and thoughts are positive or negative like magnets. As we avoid dealing with a problem, then it continues as it is — or gets worse. Our own negativity rules the day. But, the more we think positively, the more proactively we will act and reach goals and ways to overcome and accept positive options — and these will bring their rewards. In fact, positive thoughts can even boost your immune system!
2-2. Do things you love to do.
It sounds simple, but it's hard to execute sometimes. Your life may be very busy, so carve some tasks into your day that consistently make you happy. When you do something that you love, you are distracted from being sad or negative. Some positive activities that you can do are:
Listening to music. Listen to the genre you like.
Reading. Reading is good for you. It can even teach you empathy. And, if you’re reading non-fiction, it can help you learn new information and perspectives on the world.
Creative expression, e.g. painting, writing, origami, etc.
Sports, hobbies, etc.
Being with friends and family.
The awe-inspiring. Studies show that the feeling of awe or wonderment you experience when you’re walking in nature, viewing a stunning painting, or listening to your favorite symphony is great for your health, both physically and mentally. Find ways to incorporate a little wonder into your life whenever you can.
2-3. Surround yourself with friends.
Appreciate the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin. Enlist their support to help you become more positive, and in the process you will probably help them too. Friends help each other through both the good and bad times.
Studies have shown that people who surround themselves with friends who have similar values and outlooks are more likely to feel happy and positive about their lives than people who don’t.
Interacting with people you love causes your brain to release neurotransmitters that make you feel happy (dopamine) and relaxed (serotonin). Spending time with friends and loved ones will actually make you feel more positive on a chemical level!
You can also encourage your friends and loved ones to become your gratitude partners. If you foster a network of sharing things you’re grateful for, imagine the positivity that you can help each other develop!
2-4. Show compassion to others.
Compassion is doing something kind for someone else, especially if that person is less privileged than you are. It can really boost your positivity. For example, research has shown that when people give to charity, they actually feel as happy as they do when they get the money themselves! Think of ways that you can serve others, whether it’s on an individual level or in your community, and practice showing compassion. Not only is it good for others, it’s even good for your health!
Like leads to like. If we do something nice for someone else, especially if it's unexpected, there's a higher chance that person will pay the favor back, maybe not directly to us, but to someone else. Eventually, in a direct or indirect way, it'll make its way back to us. Some people call this karma. Whatever it’s called, scientific studies have shown that the “pay it forward” principle is a real thing.
Try tutoring, volunteering, or ask your church how you can get involved.
Make a microloan to someone in need. A microloan of even a few dollars to a person in a developing country can help her grow her business or become economically independent. And most microloans have 95+ repayment rates, too.
Try giving little gifts to people around you, even strangers. Buy a random person in line a cup of coffee. Send a friend something you made with him in mind. Giving gifts stimulates the production of dopamine in your brain -- in fact, you may even get a bigger “happiness rush” from it than the person getting the gift!
2-5. Find an optimistic quote
When you're a little unsure or feeling like a pick-me-up, check it for a quick reference. Here are some famous quotes you might start off with:
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ― Anne Frank
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. ― James Branch Cabell
The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ― Oprah Winfrey
If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. ― Vincent Van Gogh
2-6. See a therapist.
A common misperception is that people only “need” to see a counselor or therapist when there’s something “wrong.” But consider: you go to the dentist for cleanings, even when you don’t have cavities. You go to the doctor for annual checkups, even if you’re not sick. Seeing a therapist can also be a helpful “preventive” technique. And if you want to learn how to think and behave more positively, a therapist or counselor can help you identify unhelpful patterns in your thinking and develop new, positive strategies.
You can ask your physician for a referral, or check out directories online. If you have health insurance, your provider can tell you about counselors in your network.
Low-cost options often exist. Check online for mental health clinics, community health centers, even public-service counseling centers run by colleges and universities.
3. Avoiding Negative Influences
3-1. Avoid negative influences.
Humans are highly susceptible to “emotional contagion,” meaning that the feelings of those around us influence our own. Steer clear of bad behavior and negativity so that it will not rub off on you.
Choose your friends wisely. The friends we surround ourselves with can have an overwhelming impact on our outlooks — both good and bad. If your friends are always being negative, consider sharing your own positivity process with them. Encourage them to learn ways of being positive, too. If they’re still bent on staying negative, you may need to detach from them for your own sake.
Do only what you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, you're likely to feel bad, guilty, or concerned about doing it. That doesn't make for a positive experience. Learning to say "no" to things you don't want to do can help you feel stronger and more at ease with yourself. This is true with friends and loved ones and in work situations.
3-2. Challenge negative thoughts.
It’s easy to get swept up into a pattern of “automatic” or habitual negative thinking, especially about ourselves. We can become our own harshest critics. Each time you encounter a negative thought, take the time to challenge it. Try to turn it into a positive thought or find the logical flaw in the negative thought. If you do this long enough, it will become habitual, and it'll make a tremendous difference in improving your positive thinking skills. Say "I can!" more than "I can't!" Remember, everything can be framed positively; make a relentless effort to do so.
For example, if you get angry and snap at a friend, your instinct might be to think, “I’m a horrible person.” This is a cognitive distortion: it makes a general statement about a specific incident. It creates feelings of guilt but not anything that you can use to learn from.
Instead, accept responsibility for your action and consider what you should do in response. For example: “I snapped at my friend, which probably hurt her feelings. I was wrong. I will apologize to her, and next time, I will ask to take a little break when we’re discussing something intense.” This way of thinking doesn’t generalize yourself as “horrible,” but as a person who made a mistake and can learn and grow from it.
If you find that you frequently have negative thoughts about yourself (or others), make it a habit to find three positive things to say about yourself for every negative one. For example, if the thought shows up that you’re “stupid,” challenge that thought with three positive ones: “I’m having the thought that I’m stupid. But just last week I finished that big project to rave reviews. I have solved difficult problems in the past. I am a capable person and am just having a hard time right now.”
Even when we don't get what we want, we gain valuable experience. Experiences are often much more valuable than material things. Material things slowly waste away; experiences stay with us, growing, our entire lives.
There are both positive and negative aspects in most situations. We get to choose which ones we will focus on. We can try to catch ourselves when we're being negative and try thinking the opposite.
There's no sense in worrying about the negatives if they cannot be changed. Some parts of life are "unfair." That's because life just "is." If we waste energy and happiness on the things we can't change, we'll only make ourselves more frustrated.
3-3. Deal with past traumas.
If you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy, upset, or negative, you may have some underlying issues that need to be dealt with. Seek professional help in dealing with traumas, such as past abuse, exposure to stresses, natural disasters, grief, and loss.
Look for a licensed mental health professional, particularly one who specializes in treating trauma if you can find one. Working through your traumas with a counselor or therapist can be difficult, even painful, but you will emerge stronger and more positive at the end.
3-4. Don't be afraid of failure.
To paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. We will fall down and make mistakes. It's about how we get back up again that counts. If we're expecting to succeed, but not afraid of failure, we have the best chance of staying positive throughout it all.
Tips
Every morning, look in the mirror and think about five good qualities you have.
Don't give up. Good habits can replace bad ones by continuous perseverance.
Remember that we control our thoughts. If we're thinking negatively, we can change it anytime by thinking about something positive.
Warnings
Beware of those who do not want to be positive. Look for guidance from positive people.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting With Yourself\\n1-1. Accept where you are.\\nYou can't change the way you think if you can't (or won’t) identify the problem. Accepting that you have negative thoughts and feelings, and that you don’t enjoy how you’re currently responding to them, can help you begin the process of change.\\nTry not to judge yourself for your thoughts or feelings. Remember: the thoughts that pop up or the feelings you experience are not inherently “good” or “bad,” they’re just thoughts and feelings. What you can control is how you interpret and respond to them.\\nAccept the things about yourself that you can’t change, too. For example, if you’re an introverted person who needs quiet time alone to “recharge,” trying to be an extrovert all the time will probably just make you feel drained and unhappy. Accept yourself for who you are right now, just as you are. You can then feel free to develop that self into the most positive self you can be!\\n1-2. Make goals.\\nGoals give us a more positive outlook on life. Research has shown that setting a realistic goal can make you feel immediately more confident and boost your self-efficacy, even if you don’t achieve the goal right away. Setting goals that are personally meaningful to you and align with your values will help you achieve them and move forward in your life.\\nStart small with your goals. Don't shoot for the moon right away. Slow and steady wins the race. Make your goals specific. The goal “be more positive” is great, but it’s so huge you probably won’t have any idea how to start. Instead, set smaller specific goals, like “Meditate twice a week” or “Smile at a stranger once a day.”\\nWord your goals positively. Research shows that you’re more likely to achieve your goals if you word them positively. In other words, make your goals something you’re working toward, not trying to avoid. For example: “Stop eating junk food” is an unhelpful goal. It can cause feelings of shame or guilt. “Eat 3 servings of fruit and vegetables each day” is specific and positive.\\nKeep your goals based on your own actions and centre yourself. Remember that you can’t control anyone else. If you set goals that require a certain response from others, you may end up feeling down if things don’t go as you hoped. Instead, set goals that depend on what you can control -- your own performance.\\n1-3. Practice loving-kindness meditation.\\nAlso known as metta bhavana or “compassion meditation,” this type of meditation has roots in Buddhist traditions. It teaches you to extend the feelings of love you already feel for your closest family members and extend it to others in the world. It’s also been shown to improve your resilience -- your ability to bounce back from negative experiences -- and your relationships with others in just a few weeks. You can see positive effects in as little as five minutes a day.\\nMany places offer courses in compassion meditation. You can also check out some guided MP3 meditations online. The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society and the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center both have free downloadable loving-kindness meditations.\\nIt turns out that loving-kindness meditation is also good for your mental health. Studies have shown that compassion meditation decreases symptoms of depression, suggesting that learning compassion for others may also help you extend compassion to yourself.\\n1-4. Keep a journal.\\nRecent research suggests there’s actually a mathematical formula for positivity: three positive emotions for every negative emotion seems to keep you in a healthy balance. Keeping a journal can help you see all of the emotional experiences in your day and determine where your own ratio needs adjustment. It can also help you focus on your positive experiences so that you’re more likely to remember them for later.\\nKeeping a journal should be more than just a list of things you didn’t like. Research suggests that focusing only on the negative emotions and experiences in your journal will reinforce them, leading you to feel more negative.\\nInstead, write down what you felt, without judging it as either good or bad. For example, a negative experience might look like this: “I felt hurt today when my coworker made a joke about my weight.”\\nThen, think about your response. How did you respond in the moment? How would you choose to respond now, with a little distance? For example: “In the moment, I felt horrible about myself, like I was worthless. Now thinking back on it, I realize that my coworker says insensitive things to everyone. Someone else can’t define me or my worth. Only I can do that.”\\nTry to think about how you can use these experiences as learning experiences. How can you use this for personal growth? What will you do next time? For example: “Next time someone says something hurtful, I will remember that their judgments do not define me. I will also tell my coworker that his comments are insensitive and hurt my feelings so that I remember my feelings are important.”\\nRemember to include the positive things in your journal too! Taking even a few moments to note down a kindness from a stranger, a beautiful sunset, or an enjoyable chat with a friend will help you “store” these memories so that you can recall them later. Unless you focus on them, they’re likely to pass right by your notice.\\n1-5. Practice active gratitude.\\nGratitude is more than a feeling, it’s a doing. Dozens of studies have shown that gratitude is good for you. It changes your perspective almost immediately, and the rewards keep growing the more you practice. Gratitude helps you feel more positive, enhances your relationships with others, encourages compassion, and increases feelings of happiness.\\nSome people are naturally higher in “trait gratitude,” the natural state of feeling thankful. However, you can foster an “attitude of gratitude” no matter what level of “trait gratitude” you naturally have!\\nIn relationships and situations, avoid approaching them like you “deserve” something from them. This doesn’t mean that you believe you deserve nothing, and it doesn’t mean you put up with mistreatment or disrespect. It just means that you should try to approach things without feeling like you’re “entitled” to a certain result, action, or benefit.\\nShare your gratitude with others. Sharing your feelings of gratitude with others helps you “set” those feelings in your memory. It can also inspire positive feelings in the people you share with. See if you have a friend who’ll be your “gratitude partner” and share three things for which you’re grateful with each other every day.\\nMake an effort to recognize all the little positive things that happen throughout the day. Write them down in a journal, snap photos for your Instagram, write about them on Twitter -- whatever helps you recognize and remember these small things for which you’re grateful. For example, if your blueberry pancakes turned out just right, or the traffic to work wasn’t bad, or your friend gave you a compliment on your outfit, note these things! They add up quickly.\\nSavor these good things. Humans have a bad tendency to focus on the negative stuff and let the positive things slide right past us. When you note the positive things in your life, take a moment to mindfully acknowledge them. Try to “store them” in your memory. For example, if you see a beautiful flower garden on your daily walk, stop for a moment and tell yourself, “This is a beautiful moment, and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it.” Try to take a mental “snapshot” of the moment. Doing so can help you remember these things later, when you’re having a hard time or a negative experience.\\n1-6. Use self-affirmations.\\nSelf-affirmations may seem a little cheesy, but research suggests that they work on a fundamental level; they can actually form new “positive thought” neuron clusters. Remember: your brain likes to use short-cuts, and it will short-cut to use the pathways that are used most frequently. If you make it a regular habit to say compassionate things to yourself, your brain will come to see that as the “norm.” Positive self-talk and self-affirmations can also reduce stress and depression, boost your immune system, and increase your coping skills.\\nChoose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. You might choose to use affirmations that show compassion to your body, to your thoughts about yourself, or to remind yourself of your spiritual traditions. Whatever makes you feel positive and tranquil about yourself, do it!\\nFor example, you might say something like “My body is healthy and my mind is beautiful” or “Today I will do my best to be kind” or “Today my deity/spiritual figure is with me as I go through the day.”\\nIf you struggle with a particular area, try actively focusing on finding positive affirmations in that area. For example, if you have body image issues, try saying something like, “I am beautiful and strong” or “I can learn to love myself as I love others” or “I am worthy of love and respect.”\\n1-7. Cultivate optimism.\\nResearchers in the 1970s discovered that among people who had won the lottery -- an event that most of us probably think of as incredibly positive -- were no happier after a year than people who hadn’t. This is because of hedonic adaptation: humans have a “baseline” of happiness to which we return after external events (good or bad). However, even if your natural baseline is pretty low, you can actively cultivate optimism. Optimism improves your self-esteem, overall sense of well-being, and relationships with others.\\nOptimism is a way of interpreting the world. Thanks to the human brain’s flexibility, you can learn different ways of interpreting! Pessimistic outlooks view the world in unchangeable, internalized terms: “Everything is unfair,” “I’ll never be able to change this,” “My life sucks and it’s my fault.” An optimistic outlook views the world in flexible, limited terms.\\nFor example, a pessimistic outlook might look at the big cello recital you have next week and say, “I already suck at cello. I’m going to botch the recital anyway. I might as well just play Nintendo.” This statement makes an assumption that your cello skills are innate and permanent, rather than something you can influence with hard work. It also makes a global blaming statement about you -- “I suck at cello” -- that makes it seem like your cello skills are a personal failing, rather than a skill that needs practice. This pessimistic outlook could mean you don’t practice the cello because you feel like it’s pointless, or you feel guilty because you’re “bad” at something. Neither is helpful.\\nAn optimistic outlook would approach this situation something like this: “That big cello recital is next week, and I’m not happy with where I’m at right now. I’m going to practice an extra hour every day until the recital, and then just do my best. That’s all I can do, but at least I’ll know I worked as hard as I could to succeed.” Optimism doesn’t say challenges and negative experiences don’t exist. It chooses to interpret them differently.\\nThere’s a big difference between true optimism and “blind” optimism. Blind optimism might expect that you pick up the cello for the first time and get admitted to the Juilliard School. This isn’t realistic, and such expectations could leave you disappointed. True optimism acknowledges the reality of your situation and allows you to prepare yourself to face them. A truly optimistic perspective might instead expect that you’ll need to work hard for several years and even then you might not be admitted to your dream school, but you will have done all that you can to achieve your goal.\\n1-8. Learn to reframe negative experiences.\\nOne of the mistakes people make is trying to avoid or ignore negative experiences. This makes sense, on some level, because they’re painful. However, trying to repress or ignore these experiences actually damages your ability to deal with them. Instead, consider how you can reframe these experiences. Can you learn from them? Can you view them differently?\\nFor example, consider inventor Myshkin Ingawale. In a 2012 TED Talk, Ingawale told the story about how he invented technology to save pregnant women’s lives in rural India. The first 32 times he tried to invent his device, it didn’t work. Again and again, he was faced with the opportunity to interpret his experience as failure and give up. However, he chose to use these experiences to learn from past challenges, and now his invention has helped reduce deaths of pregnant women in rural India by 50%.\\nAs another example, consider Dr. Viktor Frankl, who was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust. Despite being faced with the worst of humanity, Dr. Frankl chose to interpret his situation on his own terms, writing that “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”\\nInstead of letting yourself immediately respond to a challenge or negative experience with negativity, take a step back and examine the situation. What really went wrong? What is really at stake? What can you learn from this to do differently next time? Has this experience taught you to be kinder, more generous, wiser, stronger? Taking a moment to reflect on the experience, rather than automatically seeing it as negative, will help you re-interpret it.\\n1-9. Use your body.\\nYour body and your mind are intimately connected. If you’re struggling to feel positive, it could be because your body is working against you. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has shown that your posture can even affect the levels of stress hormones in your body. Try standing up straight. Hold your shoulders back and your chest forward. Hold your gaze in front of you. Take up space. This is called a “power pose,” and it can actually help you feel more confident and optimistic.\\nSmile. Research suggests that when you smile -- whether you “feel” happy or not -- your brain elevates your mood. This is particularly true if you use a duchenne smile, which activates the muscles around your eyes as well as your mouth. People who smiled during painful medical procedures even reported less pain than people who didn’t.\\nDress in a way that expresses yourself. What you wear affects how you feel. One study showed that people who wore lab coats while performing a simple scientific task performed much better than people who didn’t wear lab coats -- even though the coat was the only difference! Find clothes that make you feel good about yourself and wear them, no matter what society tries to say about it. And don’t get hung up on investing your size with any meaning: clothing sizes are completely arbitrary, and one store’s size 4 is another store’s size 12. Remember, no random number determines your worth!\\n1-10. Get some exercise.\\nWhen you exercise, your body releases powerful endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. Exercise can help fight feelings of anxiety and depression. Studies have also shown that regular, moderate exercise increases your feelings of calmness and well-being.\\nAim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity every day.\\nYou don’t have to be a bodybuilder to get the effects of exercise, either. Even moderate exercises like jogging, swimming, or gardening can help you feel more positive overall.\\nExercises that include meditation, such as yoga and tai chi, can also help you feel more positive and increase your overall health.\\n1-11. Create life from within.\\nIf you want more success, focus on all the ways that you are already successful. If you want more love, focus on all the people that already care about you and the abundance of love you have to give to others. If you want to create greater health, focus on all the ways that you are healthy, and so on and so forth.\\n1-12. Don't sweat the small stuff\\nEveryone in life is confronted with things that seem important at the time but aren't really an issue if we step back and have proper perspective. Research has shown that those material things that may be getting you down won’t actually make you happy. In fact, focusing on things is often a way to make up for other needs that aren’t fulfilled. Research suggests that we need five basic things to flourish in life:\\nPositive emotions\\nEngagement (getting really involved or swept up in something)\\nRelationships with others\\nMeaning\\nAccomplishment\\nRemember that you can define what these things mean for yourself! Don’t get hung up on what others have defined as “meaning” or “accomplishment.” If you don’t find personal meaning in what you do and how you act, you won’t feel good about it. Material objects, fame, and money really won’t make you happy.\\n2. Surrounding Yourself With Positive Influences\\n2-1. Use the Law of Attraction\\nOur activity and thoughts are positive or negative like magnets. As we avoid dealing with a problem, then it continues as it is — or gets worse. Our own negativity rules the day. But, the more we think positively, the more proactively we will act and reach goals and ways to overcome and accept positive options — and these will bring their rewards. In fact, positive thoughts can even boost your immune system!\\n2-2. Do things you love to do.\\nIt sounds simple, but it's hard to execute sometimes. Your life may be very busy, so carve some tasks into your day that consistently make you happy. When you do something that you love, you are distracted from being sad or negative. Some positive activities that you can do are:\\n\\nListening to music. Listen to the genre you like.\\nReading. Reading is good for you. It can even teach you empathy. And, if you’re reading non-fiction, it can help you learn new information and perspectives on the world.\\nCreative expression, e.g. painting, writing, origami, etc.\\nSports, hobbies, etc.\\nBeing with friends and family.\\nThe awe-inspiring. Studies show that the feeling of awe or wonderment you experience when you’re walking in nature, viewing a stunning painting, or listening to your favorite symphony is great for your health, both physically and mentally. Find ways to incorporate a little wonder into your life whenever you can.\\n2-3. Surround yourself with friends.\\nAppreciate the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin. Enlist their support to help you become more positive, and in the process you will probably help them too. Friends help each other through both the good and bad times.\\nStudies have shown that people who surround themselves with friends who have similar values and outlooks are more likely to feel happy and positive about their lives than people who don’t.\\nInteracting with people you love causes your brain to release neurotransmitters that make you feel happy (dopamine) and relaxed (serotonin). Spending time with friends and loved ones will actually make you feel more positive on a chemical level!\\nYou can also encourage your friends and loved ones to become your gratitude partners. If you foster a network of sharing things you’re grateful for, imagine the positivity that you can help each other develop!\\n2-4. Show compassion to others.\\nCompassion is doing something kind for someone else, especially if that person is less privileged than you are. It can really boost your positivity. For example, research has shown that when people give to charity, they actually feel as happy as they do when they get the money themselves! Think of ways that you can serve others, whether it’s on an individual level or in your community, and practice showing compassion. Not only is it good for others, it’s even good for your health!\\nLike leads to like. If we do something nice for someone else, especially if it's unexpected, there's a higher chance that person will pay the favor back, maybe not directly to us, but to someone else. Eventually, in a direct or indirect way, it'll make its way back to us. Some people call this karma. Whatever it’s called, scientific studies have shown that the “pay it forward” principle is a real thing.\\nTry tutoring, volunteering, or ask your church how you can get involved.\\nMake a microloan to someone in need. A microloan of even a few dollars to a person in a developing country can help her grow her business or become economically independent. And most microloans have 95+ repayment rates, too.\\nTry giving little gifts to people around you, even strangers. Buy a random person in line a cup of coffee. Send a friend something you made with him in mind. Giving gifts stimulates the production of dopamine in your brain -- in fact, you may even get a bigger “happiness rush” from it than the person getting the gift!\\n2-5. Find an optimistic quote\\nWhen you're a little unsure or feeling like a pick-me-up, check it for a quick reference. Here are some famous quotes you might start off with:\\nHow wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ― Anne Frank\\nThe optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. ― James Branch Cabell\\nThe greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ― Oprah Winfrey\\nIf you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. ― Vincent Van Gogh\\n2-6. See a therapist.\\nA common misperception is that people only “need” to see a counselor or therapist when there’s something “wrong.” But consider: you go to the dentist for cleanings, even when you don’t have cavities. You go to the doctor for annual checkups, even if you’re not sick. Seeing a therapist can also be a helpful “preventive” technique. And if you want to learn how to think and behave more positively, a therapist or counselor can help you identify unhelpful patterns in your thinking and develop new, positive strategies.\\nYou can ask your physician for a referral, or check out directories online. If you have health insurance, your provider can tell you about counselors in your network.\\nLow-cost options often exist. Check online for mental health clinics, community health centers, even public-service counseling centers run by colleges and universities.\\n3. Avoiding Negative Influences\\n3-1. Avoid negative influences.\\nHumans are highly susceptible to “emotional contagion,” meaning that the feelings of those around us influence our own. Steer clear of bad behavior and negativity so that it will not rub off on you.\\nChoose your friends wisely. The friends we surround ourselves with can have an overwhelming impact on our outlooks — both good and bad. If your friends are always being negative, consider sharing your own positivity process with them. Encourage them to learn ways of being positive, too. If they’re still bent on staying negative, you may need to detach from them for your own sake.\\nDo only what you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, you're likely to feel bad, guilty, or concerned about doing it. That doesn't make for a positive experience. Learning to say \\\"no\\\" to things you don't want to do can help you feel stronger and more at ease with yourself. This is true with friends and loved ones and in work situations.\\n3-2. Challenge negative thoughts.\\nIt’s easy to get swept up into a pattern of “automatic” or habitual negative thinking, especially about ourselves. We can become our own harshest critics. Each time you encounter a negative thought, take the time to challenge it. Try to turn it into a positive thought or find the logical flaw in the negative thought. If you do this long enough, it will become habitual, and it'll make a tremendous difference in improving your positive thinking skills. Say \\\"I can!\\\" more than \\\"I can't!\\\" Remember, everything can be framed positively; make a relentless effort to do so.\\nFor example, if you get angry and snap at a friend, your instinct might be to think, “I’m a horrible person.” This is a cognitive distortion: it makes a general statement about a specific incident. It creates feelings of guilt but not anything that you can use to learn from.\\nInstead, accept responsibility for your action and consider what you should do in response. For example: “I snapped at my friend, which probably hurt her feelings. I was wrong. I will apologize to her, and next time, I will ask to take a little break when we’re discussing something intense.” This way of thinking doesn’t generalize yourself as “horrible,” but as a person who made a mistake and can learn and grow from it.\\nIf you find that you frequently have negative thoughts about yourself (or others), make it a habit to find three positive things to say about yourself for every negative one. For example, if the thought shows up that you’re “stupid,” challenge that thought with three positive ones: “I’m having the thought that I’m stupid. But just last week I finished that big project to rave reviews. I have solved difficult problems in the past. I am a capable person and am just having a hard time right now.”\\nEven when we don't get what we want, we gain valuable experience. Experiences are often much more valuable than material things. Material things slowly waste away; experiences stay with us, growing, our entire lives.\\nThere are both positive and negative aspects in most situations. We get to choose which ones we will focus on. We can try to catch ourselves when we're being negative and try thinking the opposite.\\nThere's no sense in worrying about the negatives if they cannot be changed. Some parts of life are \\\"unfair.\\\" That's because life just \\\"is.\\\" If we waste energy and happiness on the things we can't change, we'll only make ourselves more frustrated.\\n3-3. Deal with past traumas.\\nIf you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy, upset, or negative, you may have some underlying issues that need to be dealt with. Seek professional help in dealing with traumas, such as past abuse, exposure to stresses, natural disasters, grief, and loss.\\nLook for a licensed mental health professional, particularly one who specializes in treating trauma if you can find one. Working through your traumas with a counselor or therapist can be difficult, even painful, but you will emerge stronger and more positive at the end.\\n3-4. Don't be afraid of failure.\\nTo paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. We will fall down and make mistakes. It's about how we get back up again that counts. If we're expecting to succeed, but not afraid of failure, we have the best chance of staying positive throughout it all.\\nTips\\nEvery morning, look in the mirror and think about five good qualities you have.\\nDon't give up. Good habits can replace bad ones by continuous perseverance.\\nRemember that we control our thoughts. If we're thinking negatively, we can change it anytime by thinking about something positive.\\nWarnings\\nBeware of those who do not want to be positive. Look for guidance from positive people.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When we think of the word “positive,” most of us probably think “happy.” However, happiness isn’t the only type of positivity. There are many ways to be more positive in your life, even when you’re experiencing sadness, anger, or challenges. Research suggests that we have powerful capabilities to choose positive emotions and ways of thinking. In fact, our emotions literally change our bodies on a cellular level. Many of our experiences in life are a result of how we interpret and respond to our surroundings. Fortunately, rather than repressing or trying to “get rid” of negative feelings, we can choose to interpret and respond to them differently. You’ll find that with some practice, patience, and perseverance, you can become more positive.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting With Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept where you are.\", \"描述\": \"You can't change the way you think if you can't (or won’t) identify the problem. Accepting that you have negative thoughts and feelings, and that you don’t enjoy how you’re currently responding to them, can help you begin the process of change.\\nTry not to judge yourself for your thoughts or feelings. Remember: the thoughts that pop up or the feelings you experience are not inherently “good” or “bad,” they’re just thoughts and feelings. What you can control is how you interpret and respond to them.\\nAccept the things about yourself that you can’t change, too. For example, if you’re an introverted person who needs quiet time alone to “recharge,” trying to be an extrovert all the time will probably just make you feel drained and unhappy. Accept yourself for who you are right now, just as you are. You can then feel free to develop that self into the most positive self you can be!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make goals.\", \"描述\": \"Goals give us a more positive outlook on life. Research has shown that setting a realistic goal can make you feel immediately more confident and boost your self-efficacy, even if you don’t achieve the goal right away. Setting goals that are personally meaningful to you and align with your values will help you achieve them and move forward in your life.\\nStart small with your goals. Don't shoot for the moon right away. Slow and steady wins the race. Make your goals specific. The goal “be more positive” is great, but it’s so huge you probably won’t have any idea how to start. Instead, set smaller specific goals, like “Meditate twice a week” or “Smile at a stranger once a day.”\\nWord your goals positively. Research shows that you’re more likely to achieve your goals if you word them positively. In other words, make your goals something you’re working toward, not trying to avoid. For example: “Stop eating junk food” is an unhelpful goal. It can cause feelings of shame or guilt. “Eat 3 servings of fruit and vegetables each day” is specific and positive.\\nKeep your goals based on your own actions and centre yourself. Remember that you can’t control anyone else. If you set goals that require a certain response from others, you may end up feeling down if things don’t go as you hoped. Instead, set goals that depend on what you can control -- your own performance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice loving-kindness meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Also known as metta bhavana or “compassion meditation,” this type of meditation has roots in Buddhist traditions. It teaches you to extend the feelings of love you already feel for your closest family members and extend it to others in the world. It’s also been shown to improve your resilience -- your ability to bounce back from negative experiences -- and your relationships with others in just a few weeks. You can see positive effects in as little as five minutes a day.\\nMany places offer courses in compassion meditation. You can also check out some guided MP3 meditations online. The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society and the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center both have free downloadable loving-kindness meditations.\\nIt turns out that loving-kindness meditation is also good for your mental health. Studies have shown that compassion meditation decreases symptoms of depression, suggesting that learning compassion for others may also help you extend compassion to yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal.\", \"描述\": \"Recent research suggests there’s actually a mathematical formula for positivity: three positive emotions for every negative emotion seems to keep you in a healthy balance. Keeping a journal can help you see all of the emotional experiences in your day and determine where your own ratio needs adjustment. It can also help you focus on your positive experiences so that you’re more likely to remember them for later.\\nKeeping a journal should be more than just a list of things you didn’t like. Research suggests that focusing only on the negative emotions and experiences in your journal will reinforce them, leading you to feel more negative.\\nInstead, write down what you felt, without judging it as either good or bad. For example, a negative experience might look like this: “I felt hurt today when my coworker made a joke about my weight.”\\nThen, think about your response. How did you respond in the moment? How would you choose to respond now, with a little distance? For example: “In the moment, I felt horrible about myself, like I was worthless. Now thinking back on it, I realize that my coworker says insensitive things to everyone. Someone else can’t define me or my worth. Only I can do that.”\\nTry to think about how you can use these experiences as learning experiences. How can you use this for personal growth? What will you do next time? For example: “Next time someone says something hurtful, I will remember that their judgments do not define me. I will also tell my coworker that his comments are insensitive and hurt my feelings so that I remember my feelings are important.”\\nRemember to include the positive things in your journal too! Taking even a few moments to note down a kindness from a stranger, a beautiful sunset, or an enjoyable chat with a friend will help you “store” these memories so that you can recall them later. Unless you focus on them, they’re likely to pass right by your notice.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice active gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Gratitude is more than a feeling, it’s a doing. Dozens of studies have shown that gratitude is good for you. It changes your perspective almost immediately, and the rewards keep growing the more you practice. Gratitude helps you feel more positive, enhances your relationships with others, encourages compassion, and increases feelings of happiness.\\nSome people are naturally higher in “trait gratitude,” the natural state of feeling thankful. However, you can foster an “attitude of gratitude” no matter what level of “trait gratitude” you naturally have!\\nIn relationships and situations, avoid approaching them like you “deserve” something from them. This doesn’t mean that you believe you deserve nothing, and it doesn’t mean you put up with mistreatment or disrespect. It just means that you should try to approach things without feeling like you’re “entitled” to a certain result, action, or benefit.\\nShare your gratitude with others. Sharing your feelings of gratitude with others helps you “set” those feelings in your memory. It can also inspire positive feelings in the people you share with. See if you have a friend who’ll be your “gratitude partner” and share three things for which you’re grateful with each other every day.\\nMake an effort to recognize all the little positive things that happen throughout the day. Write them down in a journal, snap photos for your Instagram, write about them on Twitter -- whatever helps you recognize and remember these small things for which you’re grateful. For example, if your blueberry pancakes turned out just right, or the traffic to work wasn’t bad, or your friend gave you a compliment on your outfit, note these things! They add up quickly.\\nSavor these good things. Humans have a bad tendency to focus on the negative stuff and let the positive things slide right past us. When you note the positive things in your life, take a moment to mindfully acknowledge them. Try to “store them” in your memory. For example, if you see a beautiful flower garden on your daily walk, stop for a moment and tell yourself, “This is a beautiful moment, and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it.” Try to take a mental “snapshot” of the moment. Doing so can help you remember these things later, when you’re having a hard time or a negative experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use self-affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"Self-affirmations may seem a little cheesy, but research suggests that they work on a fundamental level; they can actually form new “positive thought” neuron clusters. Remember: your brain likes to use short-cuts, and it will short-cut to use the pathways that are used most frequently. If you make it a regular habit to say compassionate things to yourself, your brain will come to see that as the “norm.” Positive self-talk and self-affirmations can also reduce stress and depression, boost your immune system, and increase your coping skills.\\nChoose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. You might choose to use affirmations that show compassion to your body, to your thoughts about yourself, or to remind yourself of your spiritual traditions. Whatever makes you feel positive and tranquil about yourself, do it!\\nFor example, you might say something like “My body is healthy and my mind is beautiful” or “Today I will do my best to be kind” or “Today my deity/spiritual figure is with me as I go through the day.”\\nIf you struggle with a particular area, try actively focusing on finding positive affirmations in that area. For example, if you have body image issues, try saying something like, “I am beautiful and strong” or “I can learn to love myself as I love others” or “I am worthy of love and respect.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Cultivate optimism.\", \"描述\": \"Researchers in the 1970s discovered that among people who had won the lottery -- an event that most of us probably think of as incredibly positive -- were no happier after a year than people who hadn’t. This is because of hedonic adaptation: humans have a “baseline” of happiness to which we return after external events (good or bad). However, even if your natural baseline is pretty low, you can actively cultivate optimism. Optimism improves your self-esteem, overall sense of well-being, and relationships with others.\\nOptimism is a way of interpreting the world. Thanks to the human brain’s flexibility, you can learn different ways of interpreting! Pessimistic outlooks view the world in unchangeable, internalized terms: “Everything is unfair,” “I’ll never be able to change this,” “My life sucks and it’s my fault.” An optimistic outlook views the world in flexible, limited terms.\\nFor example, a pessimistic outlook might look at the big cello recital you have next week and say, “I already suck at cello. I’m going to botch the recital anyway. I might as well just play Nintendo.” This statement makes an assumption that your cello skills are innate and permanent, rather than something you can influence with hard work. It also makes a global blaming statement about you -- “I suck at cello” -- that makes it seem like your cello skills are a personal failing, rather than a skill that needs practice. This pessimistic outlook could mean you don’t practice the cello because you feel like it’s pointless, or you feel guilty because you’re “bad” at something. Neither is helpful.\\nAn optimistic outlook would approach this situation something like this: “That big cello recital is next week, and I’m not happy with where I’m at right now. I’m going to practice an extra hour every day until the recital, and then just do my best. That’s all I can do, but at least I’ll know I worked as hard as I could to succeed.” Optimism doesn’t say challenges and negative experiences don’t exist. It chooses to interpret them differently.\\nThere’s a big difference between true optimism and “blind” optimism. Blind optimism might expect that you pick up the cello for the first time and get admitted to the Juilliard School. This isn’t realistic, and such expectations could leave you disappointed. True optimism acknowledges the reality of your situation and allows you to prepare yourself to face them. A truly optimistic perspective might instead expect that you’ll need to work hard for several years and even then you might not be admitted to your dream school, but you will have done all that you can to achieve your goal.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Learn to reframe negative experiences.\", \"描述\": \"One of the mistakes people make is trying to avoid or ignore negative experiences. This makes sense, on some level, because they’re painful. However, trying to repress or ignore these experiences actually damages your ability to deal with them. Instead, consider how you can reframe these experiences. Can you learn from them? Can you view them differently?\\nFor example, consider inventor Myshkin Ingawale. In a 2012 TED Talk, Ingawale told the story about how he invented technology to save pregnant women’s lives in rural India. The first 32 times he tried to invent his device, it didn’t work. Again and again, he was faced with the opportunity to interpret his experience as failure and give up. However, he chose to use these experiences to learn from past challenges, and now his invention has helped reduce deaths of pregnant women in rural India by 50%.\\nAs another example, consider Dr. Viktor Frankl, who was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust. Despite being faced with the worst of humanity, Dr. Frankl chose to interpret his situation on his own terms, writing that “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”\\nInstead of letting yourself immediately respond to a challenge or negative experience with negativity, take a step back and examine the situation. What really went wrong? What is really at stake? What can you learn from this to do differently next time? Has this experience taught you to be kinder, more generous, wiser, stronger? Taking a moment to reflect on the experience, rather than automatically seeing it as negative, will help you re-interpret it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Use your body.\", \"描述\": \"Your body and your mind are intimately connected. If you’re struggling to feel positive, it could be because your body is working against you. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has shown that your posture can even affect the levels of stress hormones in your body. Try standing up straight. Hold your shoulders back and your chest forward. Hold your gaze in front of you. Take up space. This is called a “power pose,” and it can actually help you feel more confident and optimistic.\\nSmile. Research suggests that when you smile -- whether you “feel” happy or not -- your brain elevates your mood. This is particularly true if you use a duchenne smile, which activates the muscles around your eyes as well as your mouth. People who smiled during painful medical procedures even reported less pain than people who didn’t.\\nDress in a way that expresses yourself. What you wear affects how you feel. One study showed that people who wore lab coats while performing a simple scientific task performed much better than people who didn’t wear lab coats -- even though the coat was the only difference! Find clothes that make you feel good about yourself and wear them, no matter what society tries to say about it. And don’t get hung up on investing your size with any meaning: clothing sizes are completely arbitrary, and one store’s size 4 is another store’s size 12. Remember, no random number determines your worth!\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Get some exercise.\", \"描述\": \"When you exercise, your body releases powerful endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. Exercise can help fight feelings of anxiety and depression. Studies have also shown that regular, moderate exercise increases your feelings of calmness and well-being.\\nAim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity every day.\\nYou don’t have to be a bodybuilder to get the effects of exercise, either. Even moderate exercises like jogging, swimming, or gardening can help you feel more positive overall.\\nExercises that include meditation, such as yoga and tai chi, can also help you feel more positive and increase your overall health.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Create life from within.\", \"描述\": \"If you want more success, focus on all the ways that you are already successful. If you want more love, focus on all the people that already care about you and the abundance of love you have to give to others. If you want to create greater health, focus on all the ways that you are healthy, and so on and so forth.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Don't sweat the small stuff\", \"描述\": \"Everyone in life is confronted with things that seem important at the time but aren't really an issue if we step back and have proper perspective. Research has shown that those material things that may be getting you down won’t actually make you happy. In fact, focusing on things is often a way to make up for other needs that aren’t fulfilled. Research suggests that we need five basic things to flourish in life:\\nPositive emotions\\nEngagement (getting really involved or swept up in something)\\nRelationships with others\\nMeaning\\nAccomplishment\\nRemember that you can define what these things mean for yourself! Don’t get hung up on what others have defined as “meaning” or “accomplishment.” If you don’t find personal meaning in what you do and how you act, you won’t feel good about it. Material objects, fame, and money really won’t make you happy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Surrounding Yourself With Positive Influences\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use the Law of Attraction\", \"描述\": \"Our activity and thoughts are positive or negative like magnets. As we avoid dealing with a problem, then it continues as it is — or gets worse. Our own negativity rules the day. But, the more we think positively, the more proactively we will act and reach goals and ways to overcome and accept positive options — and these will bring their rewards. In fact, positive thoughts can even boost your immune system!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do things you love to do.\", \"描述\": \"It sounds simple, but it's hard to execute sometimes. Your life may be very busy, so carve some tasks into your day that consistently make you happy. When you do something that you love, you are distracted from being sad or negative. Some positive activities that you can do are:\\n\\nListening to music. Listen to the genre you like.\\nReading. Reading is good for you. It can even teach you empathy. And, if you’re reading non-fiction, it can help you learn new information and perspectives on the world.\\nCreative expression, e.g. painting, writing, origami, etc.\\nSports, hobbies, etc.\\nBeing with friends and family.\\nThe awe-inspiring. Studies show that the feeling of awe or wonderment you experience when you’re walking in nature, viewing a stunning painting, or listening to your favorite symphony is great for your health, both physically and mentally. Find ways to incorporate a little wonder into your life whenever you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with friends.\", \"描述\": \"Appreciate the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin. Enlist their support to help you become more positive, and in the process you will probably help them too. Friends help each other through both the good and bad times.\\nStudies have shown that people who surround themselves with friends who have similar values and outlooks are more likely to feel happy and positive about their lives than people who don’t.\\nInteracting with people you love causes your brain to release neurotransmitters that make you feel happy (dopamine) and relaxed (serotonin). Spending time with friends and loved ones will actually make you feel more positive on a chemical level!\\nYou can also encourage your friends and loved ones to become your gratitude partners. If you foster a network of sharing things you’re grateful for, imagine the positivity that you can help each other develop!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show compassion to others.\", \"描述\": \"Compassion is doing something kind for someone else, especially if that person is less privileged than you are. It can really boost your positivity. For example, research has shown that when people give to charity, they actually feel as happy as they do when they get the money themselves! Think of ways that you can serve others, whether it’s on an individual level or in your community, and practice showing compassion. Not only is it good for others, it’s even good for your health!\\nLike leads to like. If we do something nice for someone else, especially if it's unexpected, there's a higher chance that person will pay the favor back, maybe not directly to us, but to someone else. Eventually, in a direct or indirect way, it'll make its way back to us. Some people call this karma. Whatever it’s called, scientific studies have shown that the “pay it forward” principle is a real thing.\\nTry tutoring, volunteering, or ask your church how you can get involved.\\nMake a microloan to someone in need. A microloan of even a few dollars to a person in a developing country can help her grow her business or become economically independent. And most microloans have 95+ repayment rates, too.\\nTry giving little gifts to people around you, even strangers. Buy a random person in line a cup of coffee. Send a friend something you made with him in mind. Giving gifts stimulates the production of dopamine in your brain -- in fact, you may even get a bigger “happiness rush” from it than the person getting the gift!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find an optimistic quote\", \"描述\": \"When you're a little unsure or feeling like a pick-me-up, check it for a quick reference. Here are some famous quotes you might start off with:\\nHow wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ― Anne Frank\\nThe optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. ― James Branch Cabell\\nThe greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ― Oprah Winfrey\\nIf you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. ― Vincent Van Gogh\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"See a therapist.\", \"描述\": \"A common misperception is that people only “need” to see a counselor or therapist when there’s something “wrong.” But consider: you go to the dentist for cleanings, even when you don’t have cavities. You go to the doctor for annual checkups, even if you’re not sick. Seeing a therapist can also be a helpful “preventive” technique. And if you want to learn how to think and behave more positively, a therapist or counselor can help you identify unhelpful patterns in your thinking and develop new, positive strategies.\\nYou can ask your physician for a referral, or check out directories online. If you have health insurance, your provider can tell you about counselors in your network.\\nLow-cost options often exist. Check online for mental health clinics, community health centers, even public-service counseling centers run by colleges and universities.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Negative Influences\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid negative influences.\", \"描述\": \"Humans are highly susceptible to “emotional contagion,” meaning that the feelings of those around us influence our own. Steer clear of bad behavior and negativity so that it will not rub off on you.\\nChoose your friends wisely. The friends we surround ourselves with can have an overwhelming impact on our outlooks — both good and bad. If your friends are always being negative, consider sharing your own positivity process with them. Encourage them to learn ways of being positive, too. If they’re still bent on staying negative, you may need to detach from them for your own sake.\\nDo only what you feel comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, you're likely to feel bad, guilty, or concerned about doing it. That doesn't make for a positive experience. Learning to say \\\"no\\\" to things you don't want to do can help you feel stronger and more at ease with yourself. This is true with friends and loved ones and in work situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Challenge negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to get swept up into a pattern of “automatic” or habitual negative thinking, especially about ourselves. We can become our own harshest critics. Each time you encounter a negative thought, take the time to challenge it. Try to turn it into a positive thought or find the logical flaw in the negative thought. If you do this long enough, it will become habitual, and it'll make a tremendous difference in improving your positive thinking skills. Say \\\"I can!\\\" more than \\\"I can't!\\\" Remember, everything can be framed positively; make a relentless effort to do so.\\nFor example, if you get angry and snap at a friend, your instinct might be to think, “I’m a horrible person.” This is a cognitive distortion: it makes a general statement about a specific incident. It creates feelings of guilt but not anything that you can use to learn from.\\nInstead, accept responsibility for your action and consider what you should do in response. For example: “I snapped at my friend, which probably hurt her feelings. I was wrong. I will apologize to her, and next time, I will ask to take a little break when we’re discussing something intense.” This way of thinking doesn’t generalize yourself as “horrible,” but as a person who made a mistake and can learn and grow from it.\\nIf you find that you frequently have negative thoughts about yourself (or others), make it a habit to find three positive things to say about yourself for every negative one. For example, if the thought shows up that you’re “stupid,” challenge that thought with three positive ones: “I’m having the thought that I’m stupid. But just last week I finished that big project to rave reviews. I have solved difficult problems in the past. I am a capable person and am just having a hard time right now.”\\nEven when we don't get what we want, we gain valuable experience. Experiences are often much more valuable than material things. Material things slowly waste away; experiences stay with us, growing, our entire lives.\\nThere are both positive and negative aspects in most situations. We get to choose which ones we will focus on. We can try to catch ourselves when we're being negative and try thinking the opposite.\\nThere's no sense in worrying about the negatives if they cannot be changed. Some parts of life are \\\"unfair.\\\" That's because life just \\\"is.\\\" If we waste energy and happiness on the things we can't change, we'll only make ourselves more frustrated.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deal with past traumas.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy, upset, or negative, you may have some underlying issues that need to be dealt with. Seek professional help in dealing with traumas, such as past abuse, exposure to stresses, natural disasters, grief, and loss.\\nLook for a licensed mental health professional, particularly one who specializes in treating trauma if you can find one. Working through your traumas with a counselor or therapist can be difficult, even painful, but you will emerge stronger and more positive at the end.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid of failure.\", \"描述\": \"To paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. We will fall down and make mistakes. It's about how we get back up again that counts. If we're expecting to succeed, but not afraid of failure, we have the best chance of staying positive throughout it all.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Every morning, look in the mirror and think about five good qualities you have.\\n\", \"Don't give up. Good habits can replace bad ones by continuous perseverance.\\n\", \"Remember that we control our thoughts. If we're thinking negatively, we can change it anytime by thinking about something positive.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Beware of those who do not want to be positive. Look for guidance from positive people.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,057 | How to Be Positive All the Time | 1. Changing Your Mindset
1-1. Recite positive affirmations.
Every day, remember things that you admire and respect about yourself. Over time, you'll begin feeling positive about yourself because of these self-affirmations, positive statements that help you feel encouraged. Self-affirmations can also make you more compassionate and caring towards yourself, combating any negative thoughts you may have. Examples of positive affirmations include:
I am capable and equipped to get things done today.
I have the power to overcome this bad circumstance and turn this around.
I am a strong and resourceful person, and I can keep going.
1-2. Write down your positive traits.
Use your positive affirmations to make a list of qualities that you appreciative. Ask yourself what you enjoy about yourself most and write these down. You can also add in skills and accomplishments that you are proud of. For example, you might write down "resourceful," "capable," or "finished my education."
Use your list to remind yourself of all of your positive qualities. You may want to read them every day so these positive thoughts about yourself really sink in.
1-3. Do something you love.
It's easy to fall into the trap of negative thinking when you don't enjoy what you're doing. Maybe you're overwhelmed by work or your home life. Take some time out of your day to do something that brings you joy. It can be as simple as having a coffee break with a friend or soaking in the tub at the end of the day.
Studies have shown that doing something that makes you smile can actually help you alleviate pain.
1-4. Recognize the importance of confidence and gratitude.
Building confidence and self-esteem can be thought of as a form of positive thinking about yourself. Studies have shown that feeling grateful can give you a sense of well-being and increase your own feelings of self-esteem. Gratitude can also promote positive feelings towards others and will help remind you of the good parts of your life.
Feelings of gratefulness have also been linked to higher levels of empathy, which help you feel more connected to others.
2. Practicing a Positive Lifestyle
2-1. Do mindful meditation.
Instead of meditating to clear your mind, focus on being present in the moment and fully aware of your experiences. Find a quiet comfortable place and spend some time focusing on your thoughts. This will sharpen your mentality and make you feel prepared, both of which can help you stay positive. Tell your mind to be still and do nothing other than think from moment to moment.
Researchers have shown that mindfulness can reduce stress. This improves positive thinking by decreasing anxiety, low mood, and low energy associated with stress.
2-2. Practice deep breathing.
Begin focusing on your breaths. Notice how you feel emotionally and physically as you inhale and exhale. Make yourself focus on what is going on around you. While taking thoughtful breaths, use your senses to notice what you see, hear, and feel in the room or space. Ask yourself if your body feels tired, relaxed, or stiff. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.
Deep breathing is a good way to revisit what consumed most of your thoughts and influenced your feelings throughout the day.
2-3. Do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Consider working with a therapist trained in CBT. This therapy can help you change your current ways of thinking. Since thoughts strongly influence your outlook, begin to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. To do this, you'll need to start noticing your thoughts. Stop yourself when you begin to think a negative thought and reframe it to become positive. For example, if you're stuck waiting for a bus, appreciate the time you have to unwind or have a conversation with someone else waiting for the bus.
It can be helpful to write down these thoughts in order to help you reframe them. For example, you might write down a negative thought (like disliking driving in the rain) to something positive (like getting more practice driving in the rain).
2-4. Write down your goals.
Part of being positive is feeling hopeful about the future. Setting goals is a good way to focus on the future. You'll also benefit from a boost in self-esteem when you achieve goals. To improve your chances of successfully meeting goals, make sure the goals are:
Written down (Studies shows these are more detailed and likely to be met)
Detailed
Realistic
Created with a timeframe or deadline in mind
Worded positively
2-5. Have realistic expectations.
While being positive all the time may sound like a great idea, you need to be realistic with yourself. There will be times in your life when you simply won't feel positive. In fact, situations may come up that make you legitimately sad or angry. However, you can use a positive outlook to deal with painful emotions and give yourself a sense of hope or acceptance.
For example, if you just lost a loved pet, you'll probably feel sad or upset. You can still use positive thinking to remind yourself what you have to appreciate, like the time you had with your pet. Or, you can use positivity to remind yourself that this painful time will pass.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Mindset\\n1-1. Recite positive affirmations.\\nEvery day, remember things that you admire and respect about yourself. Over time, you'll begin feeling positive about yourself because of these self-affirmations, positive statements that help you feel encouraged. Self-affirmations can also make you more compassionate and caring towards yourself, combating any negative thoughts you may have. Examples of positive affirmations include:\\nI am capable and equipped to get things done today.\\nI have the power to overcome this bad circumstance and turn this around.\\nI am a strong and resourceful person, and I can keep going.\\n1-2. Write down your positive traits.\\nUse your positive affirmations to make a list of qualities that you appreciative. Ask yourself what you enjoy about yourself most and write these down. You can also add in skills and accomplishments that you are proud of. For example, you might write down \\\"resourceful,\\\" \\\"capable,\\\" or \\\"finished my education.\\\"\\nUse your list to remind yourself of all of your positive qualities. You may want to read them every day so these positive thoughts about yourself really sink in.\\n1-3. Do something you love.\\nIt's easy to fall into the trap of negative thinking when you don't enjoy what you're doing. Maybe you're overwhelmed by work or your home life. Take some time out of your day to do something that brings you joy. It can be as simple as having a coffee break with a friend or soaking in the tub at the end of the day.\\nStudies have shown that doing something that makes you smile can actually help you alleviate pain.\\n1-4. Recognize the importance of confidence and gratitude.\\nBuilding confidence and self-esteem can be thought of as a form of positive thinking about yourself. Studies have shown that feeling grateful can give you a sense of well-being and increase your own feelings of self-esteem. Gratitude can also promote positive feelings towards others and will help remind you of the good parts of your life.\\nFeelings of gratefulness have also been linked to higher levels of empathy, which help you feel more connected to others.\\n2. Practicing a Positive Lifestyle\\n2-1. Do mindful meditation.\\nInstead of meditating to clear your mind, focus on being present in the moment and fully aware of your experiences. Find a quiet comfortable place and spend some time focusing on your thoughts. This will sharpen your mentality and make you feel prepared, both of which can help you stay positive. Tell your mind to be still and do nothing other than think from moment to moment.\\nResearchers have shown that mindfulness can reduce stress. This improves positive thinking by decreasing anxiety, low mood, and low energy associated with stress.\\n2-2. Practice deep breathing.\\nBegin focusing on your breaths. Notice how you feel emotionally and physically as you inhale and exhale. Make yourself focus on what is going on around you. While taking thoughtful breaths, use your senses to notice what you see, hear, and feel in the room or space. Ask yourself if your body feels tired, relaxed, or stiff. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.\\nDeep breathing is a good way to revisit what consumed most of your thoughts and influenced your feelings throughout the day.\\n2-3. Do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).\\nConsider working with a therapist trained in CBT. This therapy can help you change your current ways of thinking. Since thoughts strongly influence your outlook, begin to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. To do this, you'll need to start noticing your thoughts. Stop yourself when you begin to think a negative thought and reframe it to become positive. For example, if you're stuck waiting for a bus, appreciate the time you have to unwind or have a conversation with someone else waiting for the bus.\\nIt can be helpful to write down these thoughts in order to help you reframe them. For example, you might write down a negative thought (like disliking driving in the rain) to something positive (like getting more practice driving in the rain).\\n2-4. Write down your goals.\\nPart of being positive is feeling hopeful about the future. Setting goals is a good way to focus on the future. You'll also benefit from a boost in self-esteem when you achieve goals. To improve your chances of successfully meeting goals, make sure the goals are:\\nWritten down (Studies shows these are more detailed and likely to be met)\\nDetailed\\nRealistic\\nCreated with a timeframe or deadline in mind\\nWorded positively\\n2-5. Have realistic expectations.\\nWhile being positive all the time may sound like a great idea, you need to be realistic with yourself. There will be times in your life when you simply won't feel positive. In fact, situations may come up that make you legitimately sad or angry. However, you can use a positive outlook to deal with painful emotions and give yourself a sense of hope or acceptance.\\nFor example, if you just lost a loved pet, you'll probably feel sad or upset. You can still use positive thinking to remind yourself what you have to appreciate, like the time you had with your pet. Or, you can use positivity to remind yourself that this painful time will pass.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever found yourself around someone who can always find the good in things? If you wish you could be a more optimistic person and stay positive when it isn’t easy, realize that there are small steps you can take to make a big change in your thinking. By targeting and reframing the negative thoughts you may have about yourself, you'll create a positive mindset. This positive outlook can improve the way you deal with painful or negative situations.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recite positive affirmations.\", \"描述\": \"Every day, remember things that you admire and respect about yourself. Over time, you'll begin feeling positive about yourself because of these self-affirmations, positive statements that help you feel encouraged. Self-affirmations can also make you more compassionate and caring towards yourself, combating any negative thoughts you may have. Examples of positive affirmations include:\\nI am capable and equipped to get things done today.\\nI have the power to overcome this bad circumstance and turn this around.\\nI am a strong and resourceful person, and I can keep going.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down your positive traits.\", \"描述\": \"Use your positive affirmations to make a list of qualities that you appreciative. Ask yourself what you enjoy about yourself most and write these down. You can also add in skills and accomplishments that you are proud of. For example, you might write down \\\"resourceful,\\\" \\\"capable,\\\" or \\\"finished my education.\\\"\\nUse your list to remind yourself of all of your positive qualities. You may want to read them every day so these positive thoughts about yourself really sink in.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something you love.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to fall into the trap of negative thinking when you don't enjoy what you're doing. Maybe you're overwhelmed by work or your home life. Take some time out of your day to do something that brings you joy. It can be as simple as having a coffee break with a friend or soaking in the tub at the end of the day.\\nStudies have shown that doing something that makes you smile can actually help you alleviate pain.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize the importance of confidence and gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Building confidence and self-esteem can be thought of as a form of positive thinking about yourself. Studies have shown that feeling grateful can give you a sense of well-being and increase your own feelings of self-esteem. Gratitude can also promote positive feelings towards others and will help remind you of the good parts of your life.\\nFeelings of gratefulness have also been linked to higher levels of empathy, which help you feel more connected to others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing a Positive Lifestyle\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do mindful meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of meditating to clear your mind, focus on being present in the moment and fully aware of your experiences. Find a quiet comfortable place and spend some time focusing on your thoughts. This will sharpen your mentality and make you feel prepared, both of which can help you stay positive. Tell your mind to be still and do nothing other than think from moment to moment.\\nResearchers have shown that mindfulness can reduce stress. This improves positive thinking by decreasing anxiety, low mood, and low energy associated with stress.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice deep breathing.\", \"描述\": \"Begin focusing on your breaths. Notice how you feel emotionally and physically as you inhale and exhale. Make yourself focus on what is going on around you. While taking thoughtful breaths, use your senses to notice what you see, hear, and feel in the room or space. Ask yourself if your body feels tired, relaxed, or stiff. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.\\nDeep breathing is a good way to revisit what consumed most of your thoughts and influenced your feelings throughout the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).\", \"描述\": \"Consider working with a therapist trained in CBT. This therapy can help you change your current ways of thinking. Since thoughts strongly influence your outlook, begin to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. To do this, you'll need to start noticing your thoughts. Stop yourself when you begin to think a negative thought and reframe it to become positive. For example, if you're stuck waiting for a bus, appreciate the time you have to unwind or have a conversation with someone else waiting for the bus.\\nIt can be helpful to write down these thoughts in order to help you reframe them. For example, you might write down a negative thought (like disliking driving in the rain) to something positive (like getting more practice driving in the rain).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write down your goals.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being positive is feeling hopeful about the future. Setting goals is a good way to focus on the future. You'll also benefit from a boost in self-esteem when you achieve goals. To improve your chances of successfully meeting goals, make sure the goals are:\\nWritten down (Studies shows these are more detailed and likely to be met)\\nDetailed\\nRealistic\\nCreated with a timeframe or deadline in mind\\nWorded positively\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have realistic expectations.\", \"描述\": \"While being positive all the time may sound like a great idea, you need to be realistic with yourself. There will be times in your life when you simply won't feel positive. In fact, situations may come up that make you legitimately sad or angry. However, you can use a positive outlook to deal with painful emotions and give yourself a sense of hope or acceptance.\\nFor example, if you just lost a loved pet, you'll probably feel sad or upset. You can still use positive thinking to remind yourself what you have to appreciate, like the time you had with your pet. Or, you can use positivity to remind yourself that this painful time will pass.\"}]}]}}",
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4,058 | How to Be Pregnant Gracefully | 1. Moving Gracefully While Pregnant
1-1. Talk to your doctor about appropriate exercise.
Exercise is a terrific way for pregnant women to improve their balance and also strengthen their muscles that will be used during labor and delivery. However, there are some forms of exercise that are unhealthy during a pregnancy (such as the lifting of heavy weights), and some difficult pregnancies require bedrest. Speak with your obstetrician about what forms of exercise are appropriate for your body and your pregnancy.
1-2. Walk every day.
Walking is a great exercise for many pregnant women, especially in the earlier stages of pregnancy. It is low-key and generally fairly safe. Walking also helps improve balance and strengthens the same muscle groups that you will use during labor. If you take the time to walk 30 minutes each day, you will also feel more comfortable moving around in your changing body.
Women in the final stages of pregnancy might need to avoid lengthy walking, however, due to back pain, foot pain, or poor balance. Women who need to be on bedrest also should not take walks.
1-3. Exercise lightly 30 minutes per day.
Doctors recommend that pregnant women have at least a half-hour of aerobic activity per day. This should not be hard, high-impact exercise: you do not want to dehydrate yourself, lose your balance, get fatigued, or limit the flow of oxygen to the fetus. But it is important to move each day in order to keep your joints healthy and to learn how to get by in a growing body. Indeed, many prenatal exercises reduce the severity and frequency of common pregnancy symptoms such as aches, pains, and trouble sleeping. Some excellent prenatal exercises include:
Swimming. Just don't hold your breath for long periods of time!
Prenatal yoga. Yoga is a great way for many pregnant women to maintain their strength and flexibility during pregnancy. However, not every yoga move is safe during pregnancy. For example, hot yoga and poses that involve standing for long periods of time are not recommended. Join a specialized class designed for pregnant women that is led by an experienced professional.
Indoor biking. Biking outdoors might be difficult for pregnant women because their balance has changed. A stationary, indoor bike, however, is a great way for women to get a good amount of cardio exercise in a safe, controlled environment.
1-4. Listen to your body.
While pregnant, you might be more susceptible to joint pain, poor balance, dizzy spells, fatigue, and dehydration. Never force yourself to do something you are not comfortable doing. If you find yourself overheating, panting, or getting too thirsty, stop your activity and take a rest. Forcing your body to move when it is already exhausted is unsafe and might lead to falls, injury, or other accidents.
Find ways to deal with other issues common during pregnancy like heartburn.
1-5. Stay balanced.
Women who are pregnant have a tendency to lose their balance because of weight gain, rapidly changing body proportions, and loosening ligaments (a side effect of pregnancy hormones). Take proper precautions to keep yourself safe and moving gracefully and to prevent unnecessary falls. Some precautions include:
Do not stand on ladders, chairs, or step-stools. Keep both feet firmly planted on the floor at all times.
Wear stability shoes. Comfortable shoes with great traction and good arch support will help keep you upright and moving gracefully.
Lean against walls or heavy furniture for extra support. Don't be afraid to find stable objects around you to help keep you balanced. Lean against a wall or sofa when you have to.
Avoid standing for long periods of time. This is particularly hard on your joints and your circulation. Either sit down or walk around a little bit: do not stand motionless for more than a few minutes.
1-6. Wear comfortable shoes.
To avoid unnecessary falls or aches while you are pregnant, stay away from high heels. Look for shoes that have a low heel (or no heel at all), good traction to prevent slippage, and excellent support. It is much more important for you to be able to move comfortably than for you to be at the height of shoe fashion.
Remember that many women experience swollen feet while pregnant. You might want to consider buying shoes that are the next size up, looking for shoes that are extra wide, or finding shoes with flexible sides (such as shoes made of canvas) to accommodate this swelling.
1-7. Gain the recommended amount of weight.
All pregnant women should gain weight--ideally 25-35 pounds. Some women lose weight in the very first few weeks of pregnancy due to morning sickness, but this weight should be regained shortly. Ideally, women who are quite thin should put on more weight during pregnancy than women who are on the heavier side. No matter what, pay attention to your weight to make sure that the pregnancy is developing normally. If your body is not putting on enough weight--or if you are gaining too much weight too quickly--there might be complications later.
2. Dressing Gracefully While Pregnant
2-1. Get strong, supportive undergarments.
Many maternity stores carry special bras and other undergarments to help support you as your body changes and as your breasts grow. Be sure that these undergarments are strong and supportive without being too tight. A good, supportive maternity bra will give you better posture and will reduce the frequency of back pains. A supportive bra will also make all of your other clothing look and fit better. However, a bra that is too tight might be uncomfortable or hurt your circulation.
Talk to a clerk at a reputable maternity shop if you require assistance finding a well-fitting bra. They should be able to measure you so you can get the support you need.
Some women like wearing a sports bra after they have outgrown their regular bras but before they are ready for a maternity bra.
2-2. Buy clothing that expresses who you are.
Most maternity clothing is designed for feminine women. However, there are new companies emerging with comfortable pregnancy wear for women who identify as butch or masculine, for androgynous people, and for transgender men. Do not let the limitations of traditional maternity wear limit yourself: true grace is being yourself at all times.
2-3. Wear loose clothing and accessories.
Tight clothing and accessories are not recommended for pregnant women. They can lead to discomfort and to a poor fit as the pregnancy continues. Moreover, pregnant women are more at risk of unsightly and potentially dangerous varicose veins, which are exacerbated by tight clothing. Make sure you buy clothing that is loose and flowing. Stay away from tight clothes, belts, socks, and undergarments.
Do not wear any slimming undergarments such as girdles or control-top pantyhose.
2-4. Don't be afraid of your curves.
As your pregnancy continues, there will be no way to hide your growing bust and belly. Nor should you: your body is something to embrace and enjoy. While your clothing will need to be loose and stretchy enough to be comfortable, there is no need for you to wear tents or muumuus. Try to find clothes that show your figure without cutting off your circulation. This could include:
Dresses made out of stretch jersey that fall below the knee
V-neck shirts and sweaters
Shift dresses that show off your curves
Skinny jeans with a maternity waist
2-5. Look for non-maternity clothing items you can wear during pregnancy.
There are a number of clothing items that are loose or stretchy enough to be worn during pregnancy as well as in your day-to-day life after your pregnancy. Most of these items can be purchased at any clothing store--not just in maternity shops. This can give you more freedom to buy clothes you like and can enjoy instead of limiting yourself to traditional maternity options. By being creative and flexible in your "maternity" wear, you can be more fashionable and find clothing to suit your own personal style. Such items can include:
Leggings. Just make sure you buy a larger size and that you roll the waist below your baby bump!
Anything with an empire waist. Empire waists are a great way to stay comfortable while pregnant, or to disguise the early stages of a pregnancy if you do not want to call attention to it.
High-waisted tunics.
Maxi dresses. Be sure that you buy one in a comfortable fabric, such as a stretch jersey.
Wrap dresses and wrap shirts. Because you tie these yourself, you can adjust the waist as necessary as your pregnancy develops.
Yoga pants. These provide you with a comfortable waist. Many women who have C-sections enjoy these pants because they do not aggravate the healing incision.
Many of these items can be made yourself if you are an experienced sewer.
2-6. Buy a maternity band.
Maternity bands allow women to wear the pants, skirts, and shirts they already own during pregnancy. By wearing the maternity band and leaving your pants or skirts partially unzipped, you can give your waist the room it needs while wearing your most beloved items of clothing. These bands can also help provide support to your belly as it grows, leaving you more comfortable.
It is also possible for you to make your own maternity bands in order to create your own maternity wear.
2-7. Wear a single, dark color from head to toe.
If you wish to appear slimmer during pregnancy, it is a good idea to avoid large patterns, horizontal stripes, or light colors. Wearing the same shade from head to toe in a dark color makes you appear more streamlined, even with a baby bump.
If you are a fan of stripes, make sure they are vertical, not horizontal, stripes. That will help your body appear longer and leaner.
If you like wearing patterned clothing, try to keep the pattern smaller and more contained. A floral cardigan might look quite nice, for example, but a paisley maxi dress will likely look garish and overwhelming.
2-8. Accessorize carefully.
You can use accessories to draw attention to features of your body that you like, and to draw attention away from parts of your body with which you are less comfortable. In general, some tips for accessorizing in a fashionable, graceful way include:
Wear bright scarves. Many maternity clothes come in dark, non-patterned colors. A scarf or shawl is a great way to get some color and patterning in to your wardrobe. Scarves also do a good job at hiding extra cleavage as your breasts grow in size.
Take off your rings. Many women experience swollen fingers during pregnancy. Take off any non-adjustable rings if you notice your fingers begin to get bigger: you do not want to have to cut off your rings to maintain your circulation.
Wear shorter necklaces. Long necklaces and pendants might fit awkwardly over your growing bust and belly. Look for shorter necklaces that call attention to your face and neck instead.
2-9. Wear breathable fabrics.
Many pregnant women are warmer than usual and may even experience hot flashes during pregnancy. Keep yourself cool by wearing loose, natural fabrics that breathe. This will keep you comfortable and also prevent you from sweating or becoming red and flushed.
Layering your clothing during pregnancy is also a great idea: you can always remove a layer of clothing if you begin to get too warm.
2-10. Treat yourself to some extra self-care.
Pregnancy can be tough on your body and self-image. Spend extra time pampering yourself with a new haircut, a spa day, or with scented lotions. Keep yourself feeling happy and relaxed: the most important part of looking good is feeling good. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself healthy and confident.
3. Behaving Gracefully While Pregnant
3-1. Be honest but discreet about pregnancy symptoms at work.
During pregnancy, many women experience symptoms that lead to discomfort, including: nausea and vomiting, bleeding gums, hemorrhoids, yeast infections, stretch marks, and swelling. Most people will be sympathetic to your plight--especially if they have experienced pregnancy themselves. However, resist the urge to overshare information about your body in professional situations. Take a sick day if you need to, but do not tell all your coworkers and clients about just how bad your hemorrhoids have gotten.
Be sure to talk to your doctor about any sudden symptoms you experience.
3-2. Ask for help if you need it.
During pregnancy, you might not be able to stand for long periods of time or lift heavy objects. Feel free to ask a neighbor for help lifting a box or ask someone on the train for their seat. People will understand, and most people will be happy to help.
Be sure that you express your gratitude to anyone who lends you a hand during pregnancy. Always be polite and kind--especially to those who have gone the extra mile to help you.
3-3. Deal politely but firmly with violations of your privacy.
Many pregnant women report being asked inappropriate questions or even being touched inappropriately during pregnancy. Strangers might try to touch your belly, or your boss might grill you about why you drank a cup of coffee that morning. Remember that your body is your own, and other people do not have the right to know your private, medical information (even if you do have a baby bump). However, social norms might make it difficult for you to draw firm boundaries. For example, you are probably better off not yelling at your boss. However, there are some tricks you can use to make sure that people do not violate your privacy. For example:
Be vague when asked an inappropriate question about your pregnancy choices. Bland cliches that do not directly answer their question, such as "I'm just so happy to be a new parent!" or "It's really exciting!", might help distract someone from prying further.
Redirect the conversation. Tell them that you don't want to hog the spotlight with your pregnancy and ask them how their day is going. Getting them to talk about themselves is a great way to prevent them from prying into your life.
Be honest when something makes you uncomfortable. Especially if you are touched without your permission, tell the person grabbing your belly that your personal space is important to you. Be firm without yelling, cursing, or being impolite. But remember that the person who touched you is the truly disgraceful person.
Practice using the following phrases: "That's between me and my doctor;" "That's between me and my spouse/partner;" "Thank you for telling me about your experience, but everybody's experience is different;" "We haven't decided on a name yet [even if it's a lie];" "We'll see how it goes." These are great ways to disarm some of the most common prying questions.
3-4. Write thank-you notes.
Many pregnant women have formal baby showers. Other pregnant women might be given gifts to help them prepare for the new baby. Whenever you are given a gift, write a personalized, effusive thank-you note to express your gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most graceful emotions you can express, and your friends and family will feel appreciated for the help they've given you.
Tips
Remember that grace is about behavior as well as appearance. If you act with kindness and politeness, nobody will care that you have more difficulty walking than usual.
Use oils and lotions with Vitamin E to keep your skin healthy. Spread it over your tummy and thighs to help prevent itching and dry skin where your body is stretching to accommodate the baby. Unfortunately, nothing has been proven to prevent stretch marks. But cocoa butter takes out the redness.
Cotton is a good material for clothing, as it is breathable and stretchy. Consider this when shopping for clothes.
Warnings
Don't wear tight, ill-fitting clothing. Let comfort take precedence over fashion: you will look better if you feel comfortable and happy.
Weight gain during a pregnancy is normal and healthy. Do not try to lose weight or remain skinny during pregnancy: that is not healthy for you or the fetus.
Ask your doctor about exercise recommendations. Do not begin an exercise routine without running it by a medical professional.
Talk to your doctor about any symptoms you experience: your health is the number one priority during your pregnancy.
Be careful of the ingredients in any lotions, oils, hair dyes, or cosmetics that you use. Some ingredients are not safe for pregnancy and other ingredients have suspected harmful effects on babies. Check with your doctor, midwife, nurse, or other professional carer if you are not sure.[46]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:37",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Moving Gracefully While Pregnant\\n1-1. Talk to your doctor about appropriate exercise.\\nExercise is a terrific way for pregnant women to improve their balance and also strengthen their muscles that will be used during labor and delivery. However, there are some forms of exercise that are unhealthy during a pregnancy (such as the lifting of heavy weights), and some difficult pregnancies require bedrest. Speak with your obstetrician about what forms of exercise are appropriate for your body and your pregnancy.\\n1-2. Walk every day.\\nWalking is a great exercise for many pregnant women, especially in the earlier stages of pregnancy. It is low-key and generally fairly safe. Walking also helps improve balance and strengthens the same muscle groups that you will use during labor. If you take the time to walk 30 minutes each day, you will also feel more comfortable moving around in your changing body.\\nWomen in the final stages of pregnancy might need to avoid lengthy walking, however, due to back pain, foot pain, or poor balance. Women who need to be on bedrest also should not take walks.\\n1-3. Exercise lightly 30 minutes per day.\\nDoctors recommend that pregnant women have at least a half-hour of aerobic activity per day. This should not be hard, high-impact exercise: you do not want to dehydrate yourself, lose your balance, get fatigued, or limit the flow of oxygen to the fetus. But it is important to move each day in order to keep your joints healthy and to learn how to get by in a growing body. Indeed, many prenatal exercises reduce the severity and frequency of common pregnancy symptoms such as aches, pains, and trouble sleeping. Some excellent prenatal exercises include:\\nSwimming. Just don't hold your breath for long periods of time!\\nPrenatal yoga. Yoga is a great way for many pregnant women to maintain their strength and flexibility during pregnancy. However, not every yoga move is safe during pregnancy. For example, hot yoga and poses that involve standing for long periods of time are not recommended. Join a specialized class designed for pregnant women that is led by an experienced professional.\\nIndoor biking. Biking outdoors might be difficult for pregnant women because their balance has changed. A stationary, indoor bike, however, is a great way for women to get a good amount of cardio exercise in a safe, controlled environment.\\n1-4. Listen to your body.\\nWhile pregnant, you might be more susceptible to joint pain, poor balance, dizzy spells, fatigue, and dehydration. Never force yourself to do something you are not comfortable doing. If you find yourself overheating, panting, or getting too thirsty, stop your activity and take a rest. Forcing your body to move when it is already exhausted is unsafe and might lead to falls, injury, or other accidents.\\nFind ways to deal with other issues common during pregnancy like heartburn.\\n1-5. Stay balanced.\\nWomen who are pregnant have a tendency to lose their balance because of weight gain, rapidly changing body proportions, and loosening ligaments (a side effect of pregnancy hormones). Take proper precautions to keep yourself safe and moving gracefully and to prevent unnecessary falls. Some precautions include:\\nDo not stand on ladders, chairs, or step-stools. Keep both feet firmly planted on the floor at all times.\\nWear stability shoes. Comfortable shoes with great traction and good arch support will help keep you upright and moving gracefully.\\nLean against walls or heavy furniture for extra support. Don't be afraid to find stable objects around you to help keep you balanced. Lean against a wall or sofa when you have to.\\nAvoid standing for long periods of time. This is particularly hard on your joints and your circulation. Either sit down or walk around a little bit: do not stand motionless for more than a few minutes.\\n1-6. Wear comfortable shoes.\\nTo avoid unnecessary falls or aches while you are pregnant, stay away from high heels. Look for shoes that have a low heel (or no heel at all), good traction to prevent slippage, and excellent support. It is much more important for you to be able to move comfortably than for you to be at the height of shoe fashion.\\nRemember that many women experience swollen feet while pregnant. You might want to consider buying shoes that are the next size up, looking for shoes that are extra wide, or finding shoes with flexible sides (such as shoes made of canvas) to accommodate this swelling.\\n1-7. Gain the recommended amount of weight.\\nAll pregnant women should gain weight--ideally 25-35 pounds. Some women lose weight in the very first few weeks of pregnancy due to morning sickness, but this weight should be regained shortly. Ideally, women who are quite thin should put on more weight during pregnancy than women who are on the heavier side. No matter what, pay attention to your weight to make sure that the pregnancy is developing normally. If your body is not putting on enough weight--or if you are gaining too much weight too quickly--there might be complications later.\\n2. Dressing Gracefully While Pregnant\\n2-1. Get strong, supportive undergarments.\\nMany maternity stores carry special bras and other undergarments to help support you as your body changes and as your breasts grow. Be sure that these undergarments are strong and supportive without being too tight. A good, supportive maternity bra will give you better posture and will reduce the frequency of back pains. A supportive bra will also make all of your other clothing look and fit better. However, a bra that is too tight might be uncomfortable or hurt your circulation.\\nTalk to a clerk at a reputable maternity shop if you require assistance finding a well-fitting bra. They should be able to measure you so you can get the support you need.\\nSome women like wearing a sports bra after they have outgrown their regular bras but before they are ready for a maternity bra.\\n2-2. Buy clothing that expresses who you are.\\nMost maternity clothing is designed for feminine women. However, there are new companies emerging with comfortable pregnancy wear for women who identify as butch or masculine, for androgynous people, and for transgender men. Do not let the limitations of traditional maternity wear limit yourself: true grace is being yourself at all times.\\n2-3. Wear loose clothing and accessories.\\nTight clothing and accessories are not recommended for pregnant women. They can lead to discomfort and to a poor fit as the pregnancy continues. Moreover, pregnant women are more at risk of unsightly and potentially dangerous varicose veins, which are exacerbated by tight clothing. Make sure you buy clothing that is loose and flowing. Stay away from tight clothes, belts, socks, and undergarments. \\nDo not wear any slimming undergarments such as girdles or control-top pantyhose.\\n2-4. Don't be afraid of your curves.\\nAs your pregnancy continues, there will be no way to hide your growing bust and belly. Nor should you: your body is something to embrace and enjoy. While your clothing will need to be loose and stretchy enough to be comfortable, there is no need for you to wear tents or muumuus. Try to find clothes that show your figure without cutting off your circulation. This could include:\\nDresses made out of stretch jersey that fall below the knee\\nV-neck shirts and sweaters\\nShift dresses that show off your curves\\nSkinny jeans with a maternity waist\\n2-5. Look for non-maternity clothing items you can wear during pregnancy.\\nThere are a number of clothing items that are loose or stretchy enough to be worn during pregnancy as well as in your day-to-day life after your pregnancy. Most of these items can be purchased at any clothing store--not just in maternity shops. This can give you more freedom to buy clothes you like and can enjoy instead of limiting yourself to traditional maternity options. By being creative and flexible in your \\\"maternity\\\" wear, you can be more fashionable and find clothing to suit your own personal style. Such items can include:\\nLeggings. Just make sure you buy a larger size and that you roll the waist below your baby bump!\\nAnything with an empire waist. Empire waists are a great way to stay comfortable while pregnant, or to disguise the early stages of a pregnancy if you do not want to call attention to it.\\nHigh-waisted tunics.\\nMaxi dresses. Be sure that you buy one in a comfortable fabric, such as a stretch jersey.\\nWrap dresses and wrap shirts. Because you tie these yourself, you can adjust the waist as necessary as your pregnancy develops.\\nYoga pants. These provide you with a comfortable waist. Many women who have C-sections enjoy these pants because they do not aggravate the healing incision.\\nMany of these items can be made yourself if you are an experienced sewer.\\n2-6. Buy a maternity band.\\nMaternity bands allow women to wear the pants, skirts, and shirts they already own during pregnancy. By wearing the maternity band and leaving your pants or skirts partially unzipped, you can give your waist the room it needs while wearing your most beloved items of clothing. These bands can also help provide support to your belly as it grows, leaving you more comfortable.\\nIt is also possible for you to make your own maternity bands in order to create your own maternity wear.\\n2-7. Wear a single, dark color from head to toe.\\nIf you wish to appear slimmer during pregnancy, it is a good idea to avoid large patterns, horizontal stripes, or light colors. Wearing the same shade from head to toe in a dark color makes you appear more streamlined, even with a baby bump. \\nIf you are a fan of stripes, make sure they are vertical, not horizontal, stripes. That will help your body appear longer and leaner.\\nIf you like wearing patterned clothing, try to keep the pattern smaller and more contained. A floral cardigan might look quite nice, for example, but a paisley maxi dress will likely look garish and overwhelming.\\n2-8. Accessorize carefully.\\nYou can use accessories to draw attention to features of your body that you like, and to draw attention away from parts of your body with which you are less comfortable. In general, some tips for accessorizing in a fashionable, graceful way include:\\nWear bright scarves. Many maternity clothes come in dark, non-patterned colors. A scarf or shawl is a great way to get some color and patterning in to your wardrobe. Scarves also do a good job at hiding extra cleavage as your breasts grow in size.\\nTake off your rings. Many women experience swollen fingers during pregnancy. Take off any non-adjustable rings if you notice your fingers begin to get bigger: you do not want to have to cut off your rings to maintain your circulation.\\nWear shorter necklaces. Long necklaces and pendants might fit awkwardly over your growing bust and belly. Look for shorter necklaces that call attention to your face and neck instead.\\n2-9. Wear breathable fabrics.\\nMany pregnant women are warmer than usual and may even experience hot flashes during pregnancy. Keep yourself cool by wearing loose, natural fabrics that breathe. This will keep you comfortable and also prevent you from sweating or becoming red and flushed.\\nLayering your clothing during pregnancy is also a great idea: you can always remove a layer of clothing if you begin to get too warm.\\n2-10. Treat yourself to some extra self-care.\\nPregnancy can be tough on your body and self-image. Spend extra time pampering yourself with a new haircut, a spa day, or with scented lotions. Keep yourself feeling happy and relaxed: the most important part of looking good is feeling good. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself healthy and confident.\\n3. Behaving Gracefully While Pregnant\\n3-1. Be honest but discreet about pregnancy symptoms at work.\\nDuring pregnancy, many women experience symptoms that lead to discomfort, including: nausea and vomiting, bleeding gums, hemorrhoids, yeast infections, stretch marks, and swelling. Most people will be sympathetic to your plight--especially if they have experienced pregnancy themselves. However, resist the urge to overshare information about your body in professional situations. Take a sick day if you need to, but do not tell all your coworkers and clients about just how bad your hemorrhoids have gotten.\\nBe sure to talk to your doctor about any sudden symptoms you experience.\\n3-2. Ask for help if you need it.\\nDuring pregnancy, you might not be able to stand for long periods of time or lift heavy objects. Feel free to ask a neighbor for help lifting a box or ask someone on the train for their seat. People will understand, and most people will be happy to help.\\nBe sure that you express your gratitude to anyone who lends you a hand during pregnancy. Always be polite and kind--especially to those who have gone the extra mile to help you.\\n3-3. Deal politely but firmly with violations of your privacy.\\nMany pregnant women report being asked inappropriate questions or even being touched inappropriately during pregnancy. Strangers might try to touch your belly, or your boss might grill you about why you drank a cup of coffee that morning. Remember that your body is your own, and other people do not have the right to know your private, medical information (even if you do have a baby bump). However, social norms might make it difficult for you to draw firm boundaries. For example, you are probably better off not yelling at your boss. However, there are some tricks you can use to make sure that people do not violate your privacy. For example:\\nBe vague when asked an inappropriate question about your pregnancy choices. Bland cliches that do not directly answer their question, such as \\\"I'm just so happy to be a new parent!\\\" or \\\"It's really exciting!\\\", might help distract someone from prying further.\\nRedirect the conversation. Tell them that you don't want to hog the spotlight with your pregnancy and ask them how their day is going. Getting them to talk about themselves is a great way to prevent them from prying into your life.\\nBe honest when something makes you uncomfortable. Especially if you are touched without your permission, tell the person grabbing your belly that your personal space is important to you. Be firm without yelling, cursing, or being impolite. But remember that the person who touched you is the truly disgraceful person.\\nPractice using the following phrases: \\\"That's between me and my doctor;\\\" \\\"That's between me and my spouse/partner;\\\" \\\"Thank you for telling me about your experience, but everybody's experience is different;\\\" \\\"We haven't decided on a name yet [even if it's a lie];\\\" \\\"We'll see how it goes.\\\" These are great ways to disarm some of the most common prying questions.\\n3-4. Write thank-you notes.\\nMany pregnant women have formal baby showers. Other pregnant women might be given gifts to help them prepare for the new baby. Whenever you are given a gift, write a personalized, effusive thank-you note to express your gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most graceful emotions you can express, and your friends and family will feel appreciated for the help they've given you.\\nTips\\nRemember that grace is about behavior as well as appearance. If you act with kindness and politeness, nobody will care that you have more difficulty walking than usual.\\nUse oils and lotions with Vitamin E to keep your skin healthy. Spread it over your tummy and thighs to help prevent itching and dry skin where your body is stretching to accommodate the baby. Unfortunately, nothing has been proven to prevent stretch marks. But cocoa butter takes out the redness.\\nCotton is a good material for clothing, as it is breathable and stretchy. Consider this when shopping for clothes.\\nWarnings\\nDon't wear tight, ill-fitting clothing. Let comfort take precedence over fashion: you will look better if you feel comfortable and happy.\\nWeight gain during a pregnancy is normal and healthy. Do not try to lose weight or remain skinny during pregnancy: that is not healthy for you or the fetus.\\nAsk your doctor about exercise recommendations. Do not begin an exercise routine without running it by a medical professional.\\nTalk to your doctor about any symptoms you experience: your health is the number one priority during your pregnancy.\\nBe careful of the ingredients in any lotions, oils, hair dyes, or cosmetics that you use. Some ingredients are not safe for pregnancy and other ingredients have suspected harmful effects on babies. Check with your doctor, midwife, nurse, or other professional carer if you are not sure.[46]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To be graceful means that you are comfortable in your body, move fluidly in your clothing, and that you behave with kindness and politeness. However, pregnancy can throw you for a loop. Your body is changing rapidly, and other people might begin treating you differently. Luckily there are steps you can take to make sure that you can handle all of these changes with dignity and grace.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Moving Gracefully While Pregnant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your doctor about appropriate exercise.\", \"描述\": \"Exercise is a terrific way for pregnant women to improve their balance and also strengthen their muscles that will be used during labor and delivery. However, there are some forms of exercise that are unhealthy during a pregnancy (such as the lifting of heavy weights), and some difficult pregnancies require bedrest. Speak with your obstetrician about what forms of exercise are appropriate for your body and your pregnancy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Walk every day.\", \"描述\": \"Walking is a great exercise for many pregnant women, especially in the earlier stages of pregnancy. It is low-key and generally fairly safe. Walking also helps improve balance and strengthens the same muscle groups that you will use during labor. If you take the time to walk 30 minutes each day, you will also feel more comfortable moving around in your changing body.\\nWomen in the final stages of pregnancy might need to avoid lengthy walking, however, due to back pain, foot pain, or poor balance. Women who need to be on bedrest also should not take walks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise lightly 30 minutes per day.\", \"描述\": \"Doctors recommend that pregnant women have at least a half-hour of aerobic activity per day. This should not be hard, high-impact exercise: you do not want to dehydrate yourself, lose your balance, get fatigued, or limit the flow of oxygen to the fetus. But it is important to move each day in order to keep your joints healthy and to learn how to get by in a growing body. Indeed, many prenatal exercises reduce the severity and frequency of common pregnancy symptoms such as aches, pains, and trouble sleeping. Some excellent prenatal exercises include:\\nSwimming. Just don't hold your breath for long periods of time!\\nPrenatal yoga. Yoga is a great way for many pregnant women to maintain their strength and flexibility during pregnancy. However, not every yoga move is safe during pregnancy. For example, hot yoga and poses that involve standing for long periods of time are not recommended. Join a specialized class designed for pregnant women that is led by an experienced professional.\\nIndoor biking. Biking outdoors might be difficult for pregnant women because their balance has changed. A stationary, indoor bike, however, is a great way for women to get a good amount of cardio exercise in a safe, controlled environment.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to your body.\", \"描述\": \"While pregnant, you might be more susceptible to joint pain, poor balance, dizzy spells, fatigue, and dehydration. Never force yourself to do something you are not comfortable doing. If you find yourself overheating, panting, or getting too thirsty, stop your activity and take a rest. Forcing your body to move when it is already exhausted is unsafe and might lead to falls, injury, or other accidents.\\nFind ways to deal with other issues common during pregnancy like heartburn.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay balanced.\", \"描述\": \"Women who are pregnant have a tendency to lose their balance because of weight gain, rapidly changing body proportions, and loosening ligaments (a side effect of pregnancy hormones). Take proper precautions to keep yourself safe and moving gracefully and to prevent unnecessary falls. Some precautions include:\\nDo not stand on ladders, chairs, or step-stools. Keep both feet firmly planted on the floor at all times.\\nWear stability shoes. Comfortable shoes with great traction and good arch support will help keep you upright and moving gracefully.\\nLean against walls or heavy furniture for extra support. Don't be afraid to find stable objects around you to help keep you balanced. Lean against a wall or sofa when you have to.\\nAvoid standing for long periods of time. This is particularly hard on your joints and your circulation. Either sit down or walk around a little bit: do not stand motionless for more than a few minutes.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wear comfortable shoes.\", \"描述\": \"To avoid unnecessary falls or aches while you are pregnant, stay away from high heels. Look for shoes that have a low heel (or no heel at all), good traction to prevent slippage, and excellent support. It is much more important for you to be able to move comfortably than for you to be at the height of shoe fashion.\\nRemember that many women experience swollen feet while pregnant. You might want to consider buying shoes that are the next size up, looking for shoes that are extra wide, or finding shoes with flexible sides (such as shoes made of canvas) to accommodate this swelling.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Gain the recommended amount of weight.\", \"描述\": \"All pregnant women should gain weight--ideally 25-35 pounds. Some women lose weight in the very first few weeks of pregnancy due to morning sickness, but this weight should be regained shortly. Ideally, women who are quite thin should put on more weight during pregnancy than women who are on the heavier side. No matter what, pay attention to your weight to make sure that the pregnancy is developing normally. If your body is not putting on enough weight--or if you are gaining too much weight too quickly--there might be complications later.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing Gracefully While Pregnant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get strong, supportive undergarments.\", \"描述\": \"Many maternity stores carry special bras and other undergarments to help support you as your body changes and as your breasts grow. Be sure that these undergarments are strong and supportive without being too tight. A good, supportive maternity bra will give you better posture and will reduce the frequency of back pains. A supportive bra will also make all of your other clothing look and fit better. However, a bra that is too tight might be uncomfortable or hurt your circulation.\\nTalk to a clerk at a reputable maternity shop if you require assistance finding a well-fitting bra. They should be able to measure you so you can get the support you need.\\nSome women like wearing a sports bra after they have outgrown their regular bras but before they are ready for a maternity bra.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy clothing that expresses who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Most maternity clothing is designed for feminine women. However, there are new companies emerging with comfortable pregnancy wear for women who identify as butch or masculine, for androgynous people, and for transgender men. Do not let the limitations of traditional maternity wear limit yourself: true grace is being yourself at all times.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear loose clothing and accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Tight clothing and accessories are not recommended for pregnant women. They can lead to discomfort and to a poor fit as the pregnancy continues. Moreover, pregnant women are more at risk of unsightly and potentially dangerous varicose veins, which are exacerbated by tight clothing. Make sure you buy clothing that is loose and flowing. Stay away from tight clothes, belts, socks, and undergarments. \\nDo not wear any slimming undergarments such as girdles or control-top pantyhose.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid of your curves.\", \"描述\": \"As your pregnancy continues, there will be no way to hide your growing bust and belly. Nor should you: your body is something to embrace and enjoy. While your clothing will need to be loose and stretchy enough to be comfortable, there is no need for you to wear tents or muumuus. Try to find clothes that show your figure without cutting off your circulation. This could include:\\nDresses made out of stretch jersey that fall below the knee\\nV-neck shirts and sweaters\\nShift dresses that show off your curves\\nSkinny jeans with a maternity waist\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look for non-maternity clothing items you can wear during pregnancy.\", \"描述\": \"There are a number of clothing items that are loose or stretchy enough to be worn during pregnancy as well as in your day-to-day life after your pregnancy. Most of these items can be purchased at any clothing store--not just in maternity shops. This can give you more freedom to buy clothes you like and can enjoy instead of limiting yourself to traditional maternity options. By being creative and flexible in your \\\"maternity\\\" wear, you can be more fashionable and find clothing to suit your own personal style. Such items can include:\\nLeggings. Just make sure you buy a larger size and that you roll the waist below your baby bump!\\nAnything with an empire waist. Empire waists are a great way to stay comfortable while pregnant, or to disguise the early stages of a pregnancy if you do not want to call attention to it.\\nHigh-waisted tunics.\\nMaxi dresses. Be sure that you buy one in a comfortable fabric, such as a stretch jersey.\\nWrap dresses and wrap shirts. Because you tie these yourself, you can adjust the waist as necessary as your pregnancy develops.\\nYoga pants. These provide you with a comfortable waist. Many women who have C-sections enjoy these pants because they do not aggravate the healing incision.\\nMany of these items can be made yourself if you are an experienced sewer.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Buy a maternity band.\", \"描述\": \"Maternity bands allow women to wear the pants, skirts, and shirts they already own during pregnancy. By wearing the maternity band and leaving your pants or skirts partially unzipped, you can give your waist the room it needs while wearing your most beloved items of clothing. These bands can also help provide support to your belly as it grows, leaving you more comfortable.\\nIt is also possible for you to make your own maternity bands in order to create your own maternity wear.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wear a single, dark color from head to toe.\", \"描述\": \"If you wish to appear slimmer during pregnancy, it is a good idea to avoid large patterns, horizontal stripes, or light colors. Wearing the same shade from head to toe in a dark color makes you appear more streamlined, even with a baby bump. \\nIf you are a fan of stripes, make sure they are vertical, not horizontal, stripes. That will help your body appear longer and leaner.\\nIf you like wearing patterned clothing, try to keep the pattern smaller and more contained. A floral cardigan might look quite nice, for example, but a paisley maxi dress will likely look garish and overwhelming.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Accessorize carefully.\", \"描述\": \"You can use accessories to draw attention to features of your body that you like, and to draw attention away from parts of your body with which you are less comfortable. In general, some tips for accessorizing in a fashionable, graceful way include:\\nWear bright scarves. Many maternity clothes come in dark, non-patterned colors. A scarf or shawl is a great way to get some color and patterning in to your wardrobe. Scarves also do a good job at hiding extra cleavage as your breasts grow in size.\\nTake off your rings. Many women experience swollen fingers during pregnancy. Take off any non-adjustable rings if you notice your fingers begin to get bigger: you do not want to have to cut off your rings to maintain your circulation.\\nWear shorter necklaces. Long necklaces and pendants might fit awkwardly over your growing bust and belly. Look for shorter necklaces that call attention to your face and neck instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Wear breathable fabrics.\", \"描述\": \"Many pregnant women are warmer than usual and may even experience hot flashes during pregnancy. Keep yourself cool by wearing loose, natural fabrics that breathe. This will keep you comfortable and also prevent you from sweating or becoming red and flushed.\\nLayering your clothing during pregnancy is also a great idea: you can always remove a layer of clothing if you begin to get too warm.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself to some extra self-care.\", \"描述\": \"Pregnancy can be tough on your body and self-image. Spend extra time pampering yourself with a new haircut, a spa day, or with scented lotions. Keep yourself feeling happy and relaxed: the most important part of looking good is feeling good. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself healthy and confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Behaving Gracefully While Pregnant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be honest but discreet about pregnancy symptoms at work.\", \"描述\": \"During pregnancy, many women experience symptoms that lead to discomfort, including: nausea and vomiting, bleeding gums, hemorrhoids, yeast infections, stretch marks, and swelling. Most people will be sympathetic to your plight--especially if they have experienced pregnancy themselves. However, resist the urge to overshare information about your body in professional situations. Take a sick day if you need to, but do not tell all your coworkers and clients about just how bad your hemorrhoids have gotten.\\nBe sure to talk to your doctor about any sudden symptoms you experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask for help if you need it.\", \"描述\": \"During pregnancy, you might not be able to stand for long periods of time or lift heavy objects. Feel free to ask a neighbor for help lifting a box or ask someone on the train for their seat. People will understand, and most people will be happy to help.\\nBe sure that you express your gratitude to anyone who lends you a hand during pregnancy. Always be polite and kind--especially to those who have gone the extra mile to help you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Deal politely but firmly with violations of your privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Many pregnant women report being asked inappropriate questions or even being touched inappropriately during pregnancy. Strangers might try to touch your belly, or your boss might grill you about why you drank a cup of coffee that morning. Remember that your body is your own, and other people do not have the right to know your private, medical information (even if you do have a baby bump). However, social norms might make it difficult for you to draw firm boundaries. For example, you are probably better off not yelling at your boss. However, there are some tricks you can use to make sure that people do not violate your privacy. For example:\\nBe vague when asked an inappropriate question about your pregnancy choices. Bland cliches that do not directly answer their question, such as \\\"I'm just so happy to be a new parent!\\\" or \\\"It's really exciting!\\\", might help distract someone from prying further.\\nRedirect the conversation. Tell them that you don't want to hog the spotlight with your pregnancy and ask them how their day is going. Getting them to talk about themselves is a great way to prevent them from prying into your life.\\nBe honest when something makes you uncomfortable. Especially if you are touched without your permission, tell the person grabbing your belly that your personal space is important to you. Be firm without yelling, cursing, or being impolite. But remember that the person who touched you is the truly disgraceful person.\\nPractice using the following phrases: \\\"That's between me and my doctor;\\\" \\\"That's between me and my spouse/partner;\\\" \\\"Thank you for telling me about your experience, but everybody's experience is different;\\\" \\\"We haven't decided on a name yet [even if it's a lie];\\\" \\\"We'll see how it goes.\\\" These are great ways to disarm some of the most common prying questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write thank-you notes.\", \"描述\": \"Many pregnant women have formal baby showers. Other pregnant women might be given gifts to help them prepare for the new baby. Whenever you are given a gift, write a personalized, effusive thank-you note to express your gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most graceful emotions you can express, and your friends and family will feel appreciated for the help they've given you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that grace is about behavior as well as appearance. If you act with kindness and politeness, nobody will care that you have more difficulty walking than usual.\\n\", \"Use oils and lotions with Vitamin E to keep your skin healthy. Spread it over your tummy and thighs to help prevent itching and dry skin where your body is stretching to accommodate the baby. Unfortunately, nothing has been proven to prevent stretch marks. But cocoa butter takes out the redness.\\n\", \"Cotton is a good material for clothing, as it is breathable and stretchy. Consider this when shopping for clothes.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't wear tight, ill-fitting clothing. Let comfort take precedence over fashion: you will look better if you feel comfortable and happy.\\n\", \"Weight gain during a pregnancy is normal and healthy. Do not try to lose weight or remain skinny during pregnancy: that is not healthy for you or the fetus.\\n\", \"Ask your doctor about exercise recommendations. Do not begin an exercise routine without running it by a medical professional.\\n\", \"Talk to your doctor about any symptoms you experience: your health is the number one priority during your pregnancy.\\n\", \"Be careful of the ingredients in any lotions, oils, hair dyes, or cosmetics that you use. Some ingredients are not safe for pregnancy and other ingredients have suspected harmful effects on babies. Check with your doctor, midwife, nurse, or other professional carer if you are not sure.[46]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,059 | How to Be Prepared for Gym at School (Girls) | 1. Gathering Your Gym Clothes
1-1. Find a small gym bag to pack your items into.
You probably don’t want to lug around a giant bag along with your backpack every day. If you can, try to find a small, compact bag that you can carry around and fit your gym essentials into.
Drawstring bags are super nice for gym, and they’re small enough that you can shove them into your backpack if you want to.
1-2. Pack your clean gym clothing to change into.
Unless your gym period is the first period of the day, you probably don’t want to wear your gym clothes to school. Make sure you grab your pants or shorts and your T-shirt so you can wear it when it’s time for class.
Try to bring your uniform home to wash it at least once a week, or more often if you can.
If you don’t have a gym uniform, you can pack some workout pants or shorts, like sweatpants or basketball shorts, and a loose fitting T-shirt.
Some schools allow students to wear gym clothes to school during days with gym class. This may be because of time constraints, no changing rooms in the school, or precautions during the coronavirus pandemic. If this is the case, you don't need to change back into your regular school clothes.
1-3. Grab a sports bra to wear underneath your uniform.
If you’ve started wearing a bra, you may want to bring one that’s specific for exercising in, so you stay comfortable. If you don’t have a sports bra, talk to your parents about buying one so you can be more prepared for gym.
Sports bras provide extra support while you run, jump, or jog around.
1-4. Choose shoes that lace up, like sneakers.
Most gym teachers won’t allow you to wear open-toed shoes, like sandals or flats. Try to pack comfortable sneakers that you can exercise in.
Some gym teachers won’t let you participate in class unless you’re wearing exercise shoes, so it’s super important that you remember your sneakers.
1-5. Bring socks to wear with your sneakers.
There’s nothing worse than getting to gym class and realizing that you’ll have to wear your sneakers without socks. Pack a few pairs of socks so you can leave one in your locker in case you accidentally forget next time.
Ankle socks usually look the best with sneakers, but you can wear any kind of socks that you’d like.
2. Bringing Hygiene Items and Other Essentials
2-1. Take a hair band with you to put your hair up.
When you exercise, your face can get a little sweaty. To keep your hair out of the way, make sure you bring a few hair bands to put your hair up into a ponytail or bun. You can even do some quick French braids if you have the time!
If you have pretty short face-framing layers or bangs, try wearing a headband to keep your hair out of your face.
2-2. Bring your makeup if you’d like to reapply it after class.
If you’ve started putting on a little makeup before school, grab a few essentials that you’d like to freshen yourself up with after class. Powder can help to take away any shine on your skin, while mascara can open up your eyes and make you look more awake.
If you don’t want to wear makeup, that’s fine too! It’s not for everyone.
2-3. Grab some deodorant and perfume to clean yourself up with.
Everyone gets a little sweaty during gym class, which is totally normal. Pack some nice smelling deodorant, perfume, or body spray to use on yourself so you smell good when you go to your next class.
This is especially important to pack if you aren’t going to take a shower after class.
2-4. Pack shampoo and soap if you’re going to take a shower.
Some gym classes require that you take a shower afterwards. If you have to, make sure you pack a small shower caddy with shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a washcloth so you can clean yourself up after gym class.
You might also need to bring a towel if you’re going to shower after class.
You may also want to bring some shower sandals or flip flops, so you don’t have to walk barefoot in the locker room.
Having the option to take a shower after class is nice so you can wash away all the sweat before heading to your next class.
2-5. Throw in a water bottle and a snack if you need it.
It’s always nice to grab a quick bite to eat before you go to your next class. Try packing a granola bar and a small water bottle so you can eat and hydrate after gym.
If your gym class is close to lunch time, you don’t need to bring a snack.
2-6. Pack some pads and tampons in case you get your period.
If you’ve started getting your period, you probably know how annoying it is to be caught without any pads or tampons. Try adding a few extra feminine products to your locker or gym bag in case you need one during school.
Tips
Everyone gets a little sweaty during gym class, so don’t worry if your face gets red or you start to sweat. It’s normal!
If you are wearing your own workout clothes to gym class, make sure they follow the dress code.
If you don't want to wear socks, carry foot-spray or foot powder and either foot cream or lotion to help you stay hygienic and confident!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gathering Your Gym Clothes\\n1-1. Find a small gym bag to pack your items into.\\nYou probably don’t want to lug around a giant bag along with your backpack every day. If you can, try to find a small, compact bag that you can carry around and fit your gym essentials into.\\nDrawstring bags are super nice for gym, and they’re small enough that you can shove them into your backpack if you want to.\\n1-2. Pack your clean gym clothing to change into.\\nUnless your gym period is the first period of the day, you probably don’t want to wear your gym clothes to school. Make sure you grab your pants or shorts and your T-shirt so you can wear it when it’s time for class.\\nTry to bring your uniform home to wash it at least once a week, or more often if you can.\\nIf you don’t have a gym uniform, you can pack some workout pants or shorts, like sweatpants or basketball shorts, and a loose fitting T-shirt.\\nSome schools allow students to wear gym clothes to school during days with gym class. This may be because of time constraints, no changing rooms in the school, or precautions during the coronavirus pandemic. If this is the case, you don't need to change back into your regular school clothes.\\n1-3. Grab a sports bra to wear underneath your uniform.\\nIf you’ve started wearing a bra, you may want to bring one that’s specific for exercising in, so you stay comfortable. If you don’t have a sports bra, talk to your parents about buying one so you can be more prepared for gym.\\nSports bras provide extra support while you run, jump, or jog around.\\n1-4. Choose shoes that lace up, like sneakers.\\nMost gym teachers won’t allow you to wear open-toed shoes, like sandals or flats. Try to pack comfortable sneakers that you can exercise in.\\nSome gym teachers won’t let you participate in class unless you’re wearing exercise shoes, so it’s super important that you remember your sneakers.\\n1-5. Bring socks to wear with your sneakers.\\nThere’s nothing worse than getting to gym class and realizing that you’ll have to wear your sneakers without socks. Pack a few pairs of socks so you can leave one in your locker in case you accidentally forget next time.\\nAnkle socks usually look the best with sneakers, but you can wear any kind of socks that you’d like.\\n2. Bringing Hygiene Items and Other Essentials\\n2-1. Take a hair band with you to put your hair up.\\nWhen you exercise, your face can get a little sweaty. To keep your hair out of the way, make sure you bring a few hair bands to put your hair up into a ponytail or bun. You can even do some quick French braids if you have the time!\\nIf you have pretty short face-framing layers or bangs, try wearing a headband to keep your hair out of your face.\\n2-2. Bring your makeup if you’d like to reapply it after class.\\nIf you’ve started putting on a little makeup before school, grab a few essentials that you’d like to freshen yourself up with after class. Powder can help to take away any shine on your skin, while mascara can open up your eyes and make you look more awake.\\nIf you don’t want to wear makeup, that’s fine too! It’s not for everyone.\\n2-3. Grab some deodorant and perfume to clean yourself up with.\\nEveryone gets a little sweaty during gym class, which is totally normal. Pack some nice smelling deodorant, perfume, or body spray to use on yourself so you smell good when you go to your next class.\\nThis is especially important to pack if you aren’t going to take a shower after class.\\n2-4. Pack shampoo and soap if you’re going to take a shower.\\nSome gym classes require that you take a shower afterwards. If you have to, make sure you pack a small shower caddy with shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a washcloth so you can clean yourself up after gym class. \\nYou might also need to bring a towel if you’re going to shower after class.\\nYou may also want to bring some shower sandals or flip flops, so you don’t have to walk barefoot in the locker room.\\nHaving the option to take a shower after class is nice so you can wash away all the sweat before heading to your next class.\\n2-5. Throw in a water bottle and a snack if you need it.\\nIt’s always nice to grab a quick bite to eat before you go to your next class. Try packing a granola bar and a small water bottle so you can eat and hydrate after gym. \\nIf your gym class is close to lunch time, you don’t need to bring a snack.\\n2-6. Pack some pads and tampons in case you get your period.\\nIf you’ve started getting your period, you probably know how annoying it is to be caught without any pads or tampons. Try adding a few extra feminine products to your locker or gym bag in case you need one during school.\\nTips\\nEveryone gets a little sweaty during gym class, so don’t worry if your face gets red or you start to sweat. It’s normal!\\nIf you are wearing your own workout clothes to gym class, make sure they follow the dress code.\\nIf you don't want to wear socks, carry foot-spray or foot powder and either foot cream or lotion to help you stay hygienic and confident!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Starting a new school year is stressful enough, and having to prepare for gym class can add another layer to that stress. If you don’t love exercising or you’re worried about not being prepared to sweat at school, it can be daunting to try to pack up everything you need for the next day. Fortunately, you only need to worry about bringing a few basic items with you to be ready for gym class every day.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gathering Your Gym Clothes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a small gym bag to pack your items into.\", \"描述\": \"You probably don’t want to lug around a giant bag along with your backpack every day. If you can, try to find a small, compact bag that you can carry around and fit your gym essentials into.\\nDrawstring bags are super nice for gym, and they’re small enough that you can shove them into your backpack if you want to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pack your clean gym clothing to change into.\", \"描述\": \"Unless your gym period is the first period of the day, you probably don’t want to wear your gym clothes to school. Make sure you grab your pants or shorts and your T-shirt so you can wear it when it’s time for class.\\nTry to bring your uniform home to wash it at least once a week, or more often if you can.\\nIf you don’t have a gym uniform, you can pack some workout pants or shorts, like sweatpants or basketball shorts, and a loose fitting T-shirt.\\nSome schools allow students to wear gym clothes to school during days with gym class. This may be because of time constraints, no changing rooms in the school, or precautions during the coronavirus pandemic. If this is the case, you don't need to change back into your regular school clothes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Grab a sports bra to wear underneath your uniform.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve started wearing a bra, you may want to bring one that’s specific for exercising in, so you stay comfortable. If you don’t have a sports bra, talk to your parents about buying one so you can be more prepared for gym.\\nSports bras provide extra support while you run, jump, or jog around.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose shoes that lace up, like sneakers.\", \"描述\": \"Most gym teachers won’t allow you to wear open-toed shoes, like sandals or flats. Try to pack comfortable sneakers that you can exercise in.\\nSome gym teachers won’t let you participate in class unless you’re wearing exercise shoes, so it’s super important that you remember your sneakers.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Bring socks to wear with your sneakers.\", \"描述\": \"There’s nothing worse than getting to gym class and realizing that you’ll have to wear your sneakers without socks. Pack a few pairs of socks so you can leave one in your locker in case you accidentally forget next time.\\nAnkle socks usually look the best with sneakers, but you can wear any kind of socks that you’d like.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bringing Hygiene Items and Other Essentials\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a hair band with you to put your hair up.\", \"描述\": \"When you exercise, your face can get a little sweaty. To keep your hair out of the way, make sure you bring a few hair bands to put your hair up into a ponytail or bun. You can even do some quick French braids if you have the time!\\nIf you have pretty short face-framing layers or bangs, try wearing a headband to keep your hair out of your face.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring your makeup if you’d like to reapply it after class.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve started putting on a little makeup before school, grab a few essentials that you’d like to freshen yourself up with after class. Powder can help to take away any shine on your skin, while mascara can open up your eyes and make you look more awake.\\nIf you don’t want to wear makeup, that’s fine too! It’s not for everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Grab some deodorant and perfume to clean yourself up with.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone gets a little sweaty during gym class, which is totally normal. Pack some nice smelling deodorant, perfume, or body spray to use on yourself so you smell good when you go to your next class.\\nThis is especially important to pack if you aren’t going to take a shower after class.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pack shampoo and soap if you’re going to take a shower.\", \"描述\": \"Some gym classes require that you take a shower afterwards. If you have to, make sure you pack a small shower caddy with shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a washcloth so you can clean yourself up after gym class. \\nYou might also need to bring a towel if you’re going to shower after class.\\nYou may also want to bring some shower sandals or flip flops, so you don’t have to walk barefoot in the locker room.\\nHaving the option to take a shower after class is nice so you can wash away all the sweat before heading to your next class.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Throw in a water bottle and a snack if you need it.\", \"描述\": \"It’s always nice to grab a quick bite to eat before you go to your next class. Try packing a granola bar and a small water bottle so you can eat and hydrate after gym. \\nIf your gym class is close to lunch time, you don’t need to bring a snack.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pack some pads and tampons in case you get your period.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve started getting your period, you probably know how annoying it is to be caught without any pads or tampons. Try adding a few extra feminine products to your locker or gym bag in case you need one during school.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Everyone gets a little sweaty during gym class, so don’t worry if your face gets red or you start to sweat. It’s normal!\\n\", \"If you are wearing your own workout clothes to gym class, make sure they follow the dress code.\\n\", \"If you don't want to wear socks, carry foot-spray or foot powder and either foot cream or lotion to help you stay hygienic and confident!\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,060 | How to Be Prepared for Natural Disasters | 1. Creating a Plan
1-1. Fill out an emergency plan.
Create an emergency plan for your family in case of a natural disaster. Include household information, out-of-town contacts, and school, workplace, and childcare contact information and emergency contingencies. Add your evacuation routes and shelter plans as well. Several websites have templates for emergency plans, like https://www.ready.gov/make-a-plan.
1-2. Discuss how to prepare and respond to most likely disasters.
Consider scenarios for the events that are most likely to happen in your area. Make sure everyone in your family knows how to react to different disasters, including tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, fires, winter storms, and power outages. Pinpoint the safest spots in your home for each type of disaster.
For example, make an emergency plan for a flood if you live near a waterway, or an emergency plan for a winter storm if you live in a cold climate.
The highest level in your home is the safest place during a flood, while the lowest level is safest during a tornado, for instance.
1-3. Identify 3 ways to get warnings.
Sirens are generally insufficient warnings for natural disasters. However, in case of a power outage, you cannot rely solely on your television or landline phone for warnings, either. Sign up to receive emergency alerts from your local government by text message or email. You should also have a battery-operated AM/FM radio (and extra batteries) on hand as well.
1-4. Determine the best evacuation routes.
Identify all the entries and exits in your home and plan how you will evacuate your home (by car or by foot, for instance). Determine where you will go in the event that you cannot remain in your home or even in your region. Then, map out several routes for getting out of your city and state or region. Be sure to brief all your family members about evacuation strategies and exit plans.
It’s important to have multiple options in case roadways are damaged during a disaster.
1-5. Decide how family members will communicate.
Come up with a communication plan in case you are separated in the event of a disaster. You may want to provide each member of the family with a prepaid cell phone and charger, for instance. Make a contact card for each member of the family so they have all the phone numbers and addresses they may need.
Text messages are more reliable than phone calls during emergencies. Make sure children know how to operate a cell phone and send a text message.
1-6. Choose multiple meeting spots.
In case all of your family members aren’t able to reach a designated meeting place, you should have several contingencies. Choose one location in your neighborhood or close to your home as well as one that is located out of town. Plan to meet at the closest location in the event of an emergency, and keep the out-of-town location as a backup in case a disaster prevents you from meeting at the primary location.
1-7. Run practice drills.
It’s important to practice what to do in case of a natural disaster, especially if you have children. Each year, you should do a practice drill for each type of disaster that could occur.
For example, conduct a home fire drill if you live in an area prone to drought and wildfire.
2. Packing an Emergency Kit
2-1. Pack a 3-day supply of nonperishable food and water.
Choose food items with a long shelf life, such as canned goods and packaged pantry items. Opt for items that don’t require refrigeration, but also those that require little cooking in case you don’t have power due to a disaster. Store 1 gallon (3.8 L) of water per person (and per pet) per day. Don’t forget formula and bottles if you have an infant, as well as pet food for any pets.
Tap water may be unsafe to drink in the event of a disaster, so be sure to include plenty of purified water in bottles or jugs.
Canned soup, tuna, nuts, dried fruit, beef jerky, nut butter, protein bars, cereal, powdered milk, dry pasta, and packaged crackers are good options.
Don’t forget to pack a can opener, utensils, dishes, waterproof matches, and a camp stove, if possible.
At the minimum you should have a 3 day supply of food and water ready, but it’s best to store enough for 2 weeks.
2-2. Include clothing, shoes, and toiletries.
Pack a 3-day supply of clothing (including multiple layers), socks, and an extra pair of shoes for each member of the family. Toiletries, like soap, shampoo, feminine products, toilet paper, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and deodorant should also be included. Add diapers and wipes if you have small children.
2-3. Add shelter and safety supplies.
Pack emergency blankets, sleeping bags, and a tent or two in case you can’t stay in your home. A multipurpose tool (like a knife/file/pliers/screwdriver combo), and a whistle would also be handy to have in your kit.
2-4. Pack electronics and batteries.
Include several flashlights, an AM/FM radio, and extra batteries. You may also want to include a prepaid cell phone with a charger in case your landline or cell phone doesn’t work during a natural disaster.
2-5. Include medicine and a first aid kit.
Prescription and over-the-counter medicines should be included in your kit. Add a basic first aid kit containing instant ice packs, bandages, antiseptic ointment, scissors, tape, a suture kit, and so on. Pack extra glasses or contact lenses and solution, and any other medical supplies that may be needed, like a cane or hearing aids with extra batteries.
You may want to include a field medicine handbook as well as a veterinary medicine handbook if you have pets.
2-6. Add cash, maps, and spare keys.
It’s a good idea to store some cash in your emergency kit. Add a mix of small and large bills in case the banks or ATMs are closed. You should also include maps of the area as well as a spare house and car key.
2-7. Store the kit in a cool, dry place.
To make sure your food and water last as long as possible, don’t store your kit near direct sunlight, excess moisture, or fluctuating temperatures. The ideal temperature range is from 40° to 70° F (4° to 21° C). While bathrooms and kitchens aren’t great options, basements and closets will do just fine.
You may choose to prepare a second kit and store it in your car, if desired.
2-8. Put important papers in a fireproof and waterproof lockbox.
Important papers could be lost in a natural disaster, so fill the box with copies of each family member’s ID as well as birth certificates, passports, deeds, and titles. You could also include insurance paperwork, immunization records, and a copy of your family emergency plan. Add a list of phone numbers and addresses for family members and other important contacts, too.
Keep both the box and key in your emergency kit.
Alternatively, you can scan important documents and store them on memory stick inside of a waterproof container in your kit.
2-9. Rotate the items regularly.
To ensure the clothes and shoes fit and the food and medicine aren’t expired, you should rotate out the items every year or two. Purchase new supplies for your packs and use the existing supplies for your day to day needs.
3. Monitoring Potential Disasters
3-1. Recognize potentially threatening situations.
Watch news and weather reports in your region so that you can be aware of potential disasters in the area. You can also download apps for your smartphone, like Natural Disaster Monitor or Weather Underground, that will alert you of potential disasters near your location.
3-2. Prepare family members for what may happen.
If your family is at risk for exposure to a natural disaster, explain to them what is happening. Review your emergency preparedness plan so that everyone knows what to do in the event of a disaster. Make sure you are prepared to either shelter in place or evacuate, if necessary.
3-3. Track the progress of imminent disasters.
Check back with your news station frequently so that you will be aware of changes in weather or conditions that could alter the course of a disaster. Sign up to receive alerts or updates from your local government or weather service so that you will be well informed of what’s happening.
3-4. Evacuate before disaster strikes
If danger is imminent in your area, evacuate before it strikes. Your local government or authority may order evacuations if a natural disaster is looming, so be sure to follow their instructions. If you aren’t able to evacuate, shelter in place until it is safe to leave the area.
Tips
If you live in an area prone to disasters that cause extended power outages, consider keeping a portable generator with a capacity of at least 5700 watts on hand.
Fill several 5 gallon (18.9 L) plastic gas containers with gasoline to power the generator. Add stabilizer to the gasoline to preserve it, and remember to rotate it out regularly.
In the event of a big disaster, be sure to have an AM or FM radio because the cell and Wi-Fi will most likely be down.
Warnings
Candles, lanterns, and flame lamps are for outdoor use only. They should not be used indoors, especially if you have a gas stove or a gas heater.
If you are plugging your generator into your power supply, make sure you turn off the main breaker and keep the generator outside.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Creating a Plan\\n1-1. Fill out an emergency plan.\\nCreate an emergency plan for your family in case of a natural disaster. Include household information, out-of-town contacts, and school, workplace, and childcare contact information and emergency contingencies. Add your evacuation routes and shelter plans as well. Several websites have templates for emergency plans, like https://www.ready.gov/make-a-plan.\\n1-2. Discuss how to prepare and respond to most likely disasters.\\nConsider scenarios for the events that are most likely to happen in your area. Make sure everyone in your family knows how to react to different disasters, including tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, fires, winter storms, and power outages. Pinpoint the safest spots in your home for each type of disaster.\\nFor example, make an emergency plan for a flood if you live near a waterway, or an emergency plan for a winter storm if you live in a cold climate.\\nThe highest level in your home is the safest place during a flood, while the lowest level is safest during a tornado, for instance.\\n1-3. Identify 3 ways to get warnings.\\nSirens are generally insufficient warnings for natural disasters. However, in case of a power outage, you cannot rely solely on your television or landline phone for warnings, either. Sign up to receive emergency alerts from your local government by text message or email. You should also have a battery-operated AM/FM radio (and extra batteries) on hand as well.\\n1-4. Determine the best evacuation routes.\\nIdentify all the entries and exits in your home and plan how you will evacuate your home (by car or by foot, for instance). Determine where you will go in the event that you cannot remain in your home or even in your region. Then, map out several routes for getting out of your city and state or region. Be sure to brief all your family members about evacuation strategies and exit plans.\\nIt’s important to have multiple options in case roadways are damaged during a disaster.\\n1-5. Decide how family members will communicate.\\nCome up with a communication plan in case you are separated in the event of a disaster. You may want to provide each member of the family with a prepaid cell phone and charger, for instance. Make a contact card for each member of the family so they have all the phone numbers and addresses they may need.\\nText messages are more reliable than phone calls during emergencies. Make sure children know how to operate a cell phone and send a text message.\\n1-6. Choose multiple meeting spots.\\nIn case all of your family members aren’t able to reach a designated meeting place, you should have several contingencies. Choose one location in your neighborhood or close to your home as well as one that is located out of town. Plan to meet at the closest location in the event of an emergency, and keep the out-of-town location as a backup in case a disaster prevents you from meeting at the primary location.\\n1-7. Run practice drills.\\nIt’s important to practice what to do in case of a natural disaster, especially if you have children. Each year, you should do a practice drill for each type of disaster that could occur.\\nFor example, conduct a home fire drill if you live in an area prone to drought and wildfire.\\n2. Packing an Emergency Kit\\n2-1. Pack a 3-day supply of nonperishable food and water.\\nChoose food items with a long shelf life, such as canned goods and packaged pantry items. Opt for items that don’t require refrigeration, but also those that require little cooking in case you don’t have power due to a disaster. Store 1 gallon (3.8 L) of water per person (and per pet) per day. Don’t forget formula and bottles if you have an infant, as well as pet food for any pets.\\nTap water may be unsafe to drink in the event of a disaster, so be sure to include plenty of purified water in bottles or jugs.\\nCanned soup, tuna, nuts, dried fruit, beef jerky, nut butter, protein bars, cereal, powdered milk, dry pasta, and packaged crackers are good options.\\nDon’t forget to pack a can opener, utensils, dishes, waterproof matches, and a camp stove, if possible.\\nAt the minimum you should have a 3 day supply of food and water ready, but it’s best to store enough for 2 weeks.\\n2-2. Include clothing, shoes, and toiletries.\\nPack a 3-day supply of clothing (including multiple layers), socks, and an extra pair of shoes for each member of the family. Toiletries, like soap, shampoo, feminine products, toilet paper, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and deodorant should also be included. Add diapers and wipes if you have small children.\\n2-3. Add shelter and safety supplies.\\nPack emergency blankets, sleeping bags, and a tent or two in case you can’t stay in your home. A multipurpose tool (like a knife/file/pliers/screwdriver combo), and a whistle would also be handy to have in your kit.\\n2-4. Pack electronics and batteries.\\nInclude several flashlights, an AM/FM radio, and extra batteries. You may also want to include a prepaid cell phone with a charger in case your landline or cell phone doesn’t work during a natural disaster.\\n2-5. Include medicine and a first aid kit.\\nPrescription and over-the-counter medicines should be included in your kit. Add a basic first aid kit containing instant ice packs, bandages, antiseptic ointment, scissors, tape, a suture kit, and so on. Pack extra glasses or contact lenses and solution, and any other medical supplies that may be needed, like a cane or hearing aids with extra batteries.\\nYou may want to include a field medicine handbook as well as a veterinary medicine handbook if you have pets.\\n2-6. Add cash, maps, and spare keys.\\nIt’s a good idea to store some cash in your emergency kit. Add a mix of small and large bills in case the banks or ATMs are closed. You should also include maps of the area as well as a spare house and car key.\\n2-7. Store the kit in a cool, dry place.\\nTo make sure your food and water last as long as possible, don’t store your kit near direct sunlight, excess moisture, or fluctuating temperatures. The ideal temperature range is from 40° to 70° F (4° to 21° C). While bathrooms and kitchens aren’t great options, basements and closets will do just fine.\\nYou may choose to prepare a second kit and store it in your car, if desired.\\n2-8. Put important papers in a fireproof and waterproof lockbox.\\nImportant papers could be lost in a natural disaster, so fill the box with copies of each family member’s ID as well as birth certificates, passports, deeds, and titles. You could also include insurance paperwork, immunization records, and a copy of your family emergency plan. Add a list of phone numbers and addresses for family members and other important contacts, too.\\nKeep both the box and key in your emergency kit.\\nAlternatively, you can scan important documents and store them on memory stick inside of a waterproof container in your kit.\\n2-9. Rotate the items regularly.\\nTo ensure the clothes and shoes fit and the food and medicine aren’t expired, you should rotate out the items every year or two. Purchase new supplies for your packs and use the existing supplies for your day to day needs.\\n3. Monitoring Potential Disasters\\n3-1. Recognize potentially threatening situations.\\nWatch news and weather reports in your region so that you can be aware of potential disasters in the area. You can also download apps for your smartphone, like Natural Disaster Monitor or Weather Underground, that will alert you of potential disasters near your location.\\n3-2. Prepare family members for what may happen.\\nIf your family is at risk for exposure to a natural disaster, explain to them what is happening. Review your emergency preparedness plan so that everyone knows what to do in the event of a disaster. Make sure you are prepared to either shelter in place or evacuate, if necessary.\\n3-3. Track the progress of imminent disasters.\\nCheck back with your news station frequently so that you will be aware of changes in weather or conditions that could alter the course of a disaster. Sign up to receive alerts or updates from your local government or weather service so that you will be well informed of what’s happening.\\n3-4. Evacuate before disaster strikes\\nIf danger is imminent in your area, evacuate before it strikes. Your local government or authority may order evacuations if a natural disaster is looming, so be sure to follow their instructions. If you aren’t able to evacuate, shelter in place until it is safe to leave the area.\\nTips\\nIf you live in an area prone to disasters that cause extended power outages, consider keeping a portable generator with a capacity of at least 5700 watts on hand.\\nFill several 5 gallon (18.9 L) plastic gas containers with gasoline to power the generator. Add stabilizer to the gasoline to preserve it, and remember to rotate it out regularly.\\nIn the event of a big disaster, be sure to have an AM or FM radio because the cell and Wi-Fi will most likely be down.\\nWarnings\\nCandles, lanterns, and flame lamps are for outdoor use only. They should not be used indoors, especially if you have a gas stove or a gas heater.\\nIf you are plugging your generator into your power supply, make sure you turn off the main breaker and keep the generator outside.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The thought of a natural disaster can be frightening, but you can prepare yourself and your family with a few simple steps. Though you may not know what kind of disaster will strike or when, if you take the time to prepare for several possible scenarios you’ll be ready in the event of an emergency.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Creating a Plan\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fill out an emergency plan.\", \"描述\": \"Create an emergency plan for your family in case of a natural disaster. Include household information, out-of-town contacts, and school, workplace, and childcare contact information and emergency contingencies. Add your evacuation routes and shelter plans as well. Several websites have templates for emergency plans, like https://www.ready.gov/make-a-plan.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discuss how to prepare and respond to most likely disasters.\", \"描述\": \"Consider scenarios for the events that are most likely to happen in your area. Make sure everyone in your family knows how to react to different disasters, including tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, fires, winter storms, and power outages. Pinpoint the safest spots in your home for each type of disaster.\\nFor example, make an emergency plan for a flood if you live near a waterway, or an emergency plan for a winter storm if you live in a cold climate.\\nThe highest level in your home is the safest place during a flood, while the lowest level is safest during a tornado, for instance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify 3 ways to get warnings.\", \"描述\": \"Sirens are generally insufficient warnings for natural disasters. However, in case of a power outage, you cannot rely solely on your television or landline phone for warnings, either. Sign up to receive emergency alerts from your local government by text message or email. You should also have a battery-operated AM/FM radio (and extra batteries) on hand as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine the best evacuation routes.\", \"描述\": \"Identify all the entries and exits in your home and plan how you will evacuate your home (by car or by foot, for instance). Determine where you will go in the event that you cannot remain in your home or even in your region. Then, map out several routes for getting out of your city and state or region. Be sure to brief all your family members about evacuation strategies and exit plans.\\nIt’s important to have multiple options in case roadways are damaged during a disaster.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide how family members will communicate.\", \"描述\": \"Come up with a communication plan in case you are separated in the event of a disaster. You may want to provide each member of the family with a prepaid cell phone and charger, for instance. Make a contact card for each member of the family so they have all the phone numbers and addresses they may need.\\nText messages are more reliable than phone calls during emergencies. Make sure children know how to operate a cell phone and send a text message.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Choose multiple meeting spots.\", \"描述\": \"In case all of your family members aren’t able to reach a designated meeting place, you should have several contingencies. Choose one location in your neighborhood or close to your home as well as one that is located out of town. Plan to meet at the closest location in the event of an emergency, and keep the out-of-town location as a backup in case a disaster prevents you from meeting at the primary location.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Run practice drills.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to practice what to do in case of a natural disaster, especially if you have children. Each year, you should do a practice drill for each type of disaster that could occur.\\nFor example, conduct a home fire drill if you live in an area prone to drought and wildfire.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Packing an Emergency Kit\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pack a 3-day supply of nonperishable food and water.\", \"描述\": \"Choose food items with a long shelf life, such as canned goods and packaged pantry items. Opt for items that don’t require refrigeration, but also those that require little cooking in case you don’t have power due to a disaster. Store 1 gallon (3.8 L) of water per person (and per pet) per day. Don’t forget formula and bottles if you have an infant, as well as pet food for any pets.\\nTap water may be unsafe to drink in the event of a disaster, so be sure to include plenty of purified water in bottles or jugs.\\nCanned soup, tuna, nuts, dried fruit, beef jerky, nut butter, protein bars, cereal, powdered milk, dry pasta, and packaged crackers are good options.\\nDon’t forget to pack a can opener, utensils, dishes, waterproof matches, and a camp stove, if possible.\\nAt the minimum you should have a 3 day supply of food and water ready, but it’s best to store enough for 2 weeks.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Include clothing, shoes, and toiletries.\", \"描述\": \"Pack a 3-day supply of clothing (including multiple layers), socks, and an extra pair of shoes for each member of the family. Toiletries, like soap, shampoo, feminine products, toilet paper, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and deodorant should also be included. Add diapers and wipes if you have small children.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Add shelter and safety supplies.\", \"描述\": \"Pack emergency blankets, sleeping bags, and a tent or two in case you can’t stay in your home. A multipurpose tool (like a knife/file/pliers/screwdriver combo), and a whistle would also be handy to have in your kit.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pack electronics and batteries.\", \"描述\": \"Include several flashlights, an AM/FM radio, and extra batteries. You may also want to include a prepaid cell phone with a charger in case your landline or cell phone doesn’t work during a natural disaster.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Include medicine and a first aid kit.\", \"描述\": \"Prescription and over-the-counter medicines should be included in your kit. Add a basic first aid kit containing instant ice packs, bandages, antiseptic ointment, scissors, tape, a suture kit, and so on. Pack extra glasses or contact lenses and solution, and any other medical supplies that may be needed, like a cane or hearing aids with extra batteries.\\nYou may want to include a field medicine handbook as well as a veterinary medicine handbook if you have pets.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add cash, maps, and spare keys.\", \"描述\": \"It’s a good idea to store some cash in your emergency kit. Add a mix of small and large bills in case the banks or ATMs are closed. You should also include maps of the area as well as a spare house and car key.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Store the kit in a cool, dry place.\", \"描述\": \"To make sure your food and water last as long as possible, don’t store your kit near direct sunlight, excess moisture, or fluctuating temperatures. The ideal temperature range is from 40° to 70° F (4° to 21° C). While bathrooms and kitchens aren’t great options, basements and closets will do just fine.\\nYou may choose to prepare a second kit and store it in your car, if desired.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Put important papers in a fireproof and waterproof lockbox.\", \"描述\": \"Important papers could be lost in a natural disaster, so fill the box with copies of each family member’s ID as well as birth certificates, passports, deeds, and titles. You could also include insurance paperwork, immunization records, and a copy of your family emergency plan. Add a list of phone numbers and addresses for family members and other important contacts, too.\\nKeep both the box and key in your emergency kit.\\nAlternatively, you can scan important documents and store them on memory stick inside of a waterproof container in your kit.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Rotate the items regularly.\", \"描述\": \"To ensure the clothes and shoes fit and the food and medicine aren’t expired, you should rotate out the items every year or two. Purchase new supplies for your packs and use the existing supplies for your day to day needs.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Monitoring Potential Disasters\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize potentially threatening situations.\", \"描述\": \"Watch news and weather reports in your region so that you can be aware of potential disasters in the area. You can also download apps for your smartphone, like Natural Disaster Monitor or Weather Underground, that will alert you of potential disasters near your location.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare family members for what may happen.\", \"描述\": \"If your family is at risk for exposure to a natural disaster, explain to them what is happening. Review your emergency preparedness plan so that everyone knows what to do in the event of a disaster. Make sure you are prepared to either shelter in place or evacuate, if necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Track the progress of imminent disasters.\", \"描述\": \"Check back with your news station frequently so that you will be aware of changes in weather or conditions that could alter the course of a disaster. Sign up to receive alerts or updates from your local government or weather service so that you will be well informed of what’s happening.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Evacuate before disaster strikes\", \"描述\": \"If danger is imminent in your area, evacuate before it strikes. Your local government or authority may order evacuations if a natural disaster is looming, so be sure to follow their instructions. If you aren’t able to evacuate, shelter in place until it is safe to leave the area.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you live in an area prone to disasters that cause extended power outages, consider keeping a portable generator with a capacity of at least 5700 watts on hand.\\n\", \"Fill several 5 gallon (18.9 L) plastic gas containers with gasoline to power the generator. Add stabilizer to the gasoline to preserve it, and remember to rotate it out regularly.\\n\", \"In the event of a big disaster, be sure to have an AM or FM radio because the cell and Wi-Fi will most likely be down.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Candles, lanterns, and flame lamps are for outdoor use only. They should not be used indoors, especially if you have a gas stove or a gas heater.\\n\", \"If you are plugging your generator into your power supply, make sure you turn off the main breaker and keep the generator outside.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,061 | How to Be Prepared for a Hike | 1. Planning Your Hike
1-1. Choose a trail that’s within your skill level.
If you’re a beginner and you haven’t had a lot of experience hiking, pick shorter trails that have gentle inclines so you don’t get as tired. If you have more experience hiking, you can also try wilderness trails that are steeper or have more difficult footing. Only choose long, steep trails if you’ve been hiking a lot since they can be dangerous to attempt them if you aren’t prepared for the conditions.
1-2. Check the route and trail conditions online if you can.
Search the park’s website for a trail map or use a hiking website, like AllTrails or Hiking Project, to find trails near you. Pay attention to how long the trail is and how long it normally takes to complete the round-trip. A few days before and on the morning of your hike, check the conditions to see if they’ve changed and affected the route. Make note of the trail condition so you can wear shoes that offer the most support.
Trails do close from time to time, so always be sure to check if they’re open before you leave for your hike.
Many other hikers rate and describe the trails they use, so read through them to see if the trail is right for you.
Keep track of the amount of time you’ve been hiking and leave the same amount of time before sunset so you can get back to your starting point before dark.
1-3. Look up the weather forecast so you can plan your outfit.
Check the hourly forecast to see how warm it’s going to be during your hike. If it’s going to be cold, you’ll have to pack more layers so you stay warm. Also be sure to check if it’s going to rain, since you may want to bring a rain jacket or waterproof clothes so you stay dry.
The temperature can drop quickly if you change altitudes during your hike, so bring extra layers of clothes in case you get cold.
1-4. Choose to hike in the morning or afternoon while the sun is out.
Trails are usually less busy in the morning and temperatures are cooler so you’ll feel more comfortable. Otherwise, pick a time in the afternoon while the sun is still out. Avoid hiking after dark if you can since you may not notice uneven trails and could get lost.
Your pace may vary depending on the difficulty of the trail.
1-5. Learn about what dangerous animals may live in the area.
Hiking in the wilderness is great for getting closer to nature, but there may be some animals to avoid. Search on the park or trail’s website to find out what animals have been spotted in the area and what you should do if you encounter one.
For example, there could be bears, wolves, or mountain lions in your area.
Most animals are as scared of you as you are scared of them. Usually, animals will avoid you as long as you avoid them.
1-6. Ask someone to hike with you so you stay safe.
Avoid hiking alone since you won’t be able to reach someone in case there’s an emergency. Talk to other friends that hike and see if they want to come with you. Otherwise, you may be able to find hiking groups in your area. Try using an app like Meetup or checking for flyers at an outdoor supply store.
Ask the person what distance they’re comfortable hiking. You may need to adjust your route if they aren’t as experienced.
1-7. Tell other people where you’re hiking and how long you’ll be gone.
Before you leave, talk to other friends and family members and let them know exactly where you’re going. Show them a map of the trail and mention what time you plan to be finished. That way, someone knows where you are in case there’s an emergency.
While you’re out on the hike, try to check in on a set schedule so your friends and family know you’re safe.
2. Dressing and Packing
2-1. Wear breathable layers of clothing.
Even if you’re hiking in the heat of summer, bring multiple layers of thin, breathable clothes just in case it gets colder. Pack a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of pants so that you can put them on over your other clothes. Choose fabrics that are labeled “moisture-wicking” to help you stay cool and dry throughout the hike.
Avoid cotton clothing since it holds moisture and can get heavy.
Opt for lighter colors since you’ll feel cooler and you’ll be able to spot any ticks or pests easier.
2-2. Put on trail shoes or hiking boots for the best foot support.
If you’re only going on a light hike on an easy trail, you can probably get away with wearing a comfortable pair of tennis shoes. Otherwise, look for trail shoes or hiking boots that are stiff so you don’t sprain or twist your ankle. Make sure your shoes or boots fit tightly and are comfortable since you’ll be walking in them for a few hours.
If you’re breaking in new shoes or boots, wear them out for hikes that are 1–2 miles (1.6–3.2 km) to break them in. As they get more comfortable, increase your distance.
2-3. Carry your cell phone with you at all times.
Make sure your cell phone is in a convenient location where you won’t lose it. Put it in your pocket, an arm band, or a backpack so it can’t fall out. Use your phone to take pictures, track your location, watch the time, and to make phone calls if there’s an emergency.
Check in with other friends and family throughout your hike so they know you’re safe.
Consider bringing a portable charger for your phone just in case the battery dies while you’re on the trail.
You may not get service depending on where you’re hiking.
2-4. Use a backpack with chest or waist straps.
Choose a lightweight backpack so you don’t have a lot of weight to carry. Try to find something that fits well on your back and has comfortable padding on the straps. Check if there are straps that go around your chest and waist so you don’t have so much weight on your shoulders throughout the hike.
Hiking backpacks are more lightweight and have more convenient storage than regular backpacks. You can buy one from an outdoor supply store, but they usually will cost around $50–200 USD.
Avoid stuffing your backpack full since it will get really heavy and will be difficult to carry.
2-5. Take a map and compass in case you get lost.
Even if you have a GPS on your phone, you may need to use a map in an emergency. Try to find a topographical map of the area so you can easily locate landmarks and trails. Make sure you have a compass so you can determine which direction you’re facing.
You can usually get a trail map at a park ranger’s stations or a visitor center.
As a quick reference, remember that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. If you find the sun in the sky, you can get a rough idea of which direction you’re facing.
2-6. Bring nutritious snacks with carbs and proteins to help you stay energized.
Avoid fatty or sugary snacks since they won’t provide as many nutrients. Instead, look for snacks that have lots of carbs or proteins, such as beef jerky, nuts, trail mix, or granola bars. You can also eat fruit and vegetables if you want something fresh. Always pack enough food so you have enough for an extra day just in case there’s an emergency.
Other foods you can bring include dried fruit, seeds, tuna or salmon pouches, and cheese.
Keep any food packaging in your backpack so you can throw it away properly later.
2-7. Pack 1 US pt (0.47 L) of water for every hour you’ll be gone.
Look for insulated water bottles so it stays cold while you’re hiking. Look at how much time it takes to hike the trail and have at least 1 US pint (0.47 L) per hour. Keep the water bottles in an easy-to-reach spot in the side or top pockets of your backpack.
You may need more water if there are high temperatures or if you’re hiking a more strenuous trail.
2-8. Apply bug spray and sunscreen every 2 hours while hiking.
Look for bug spray that has DEET since it helps repel mosquitoes, flies, and ticks more efficiently. If the sun is out, get sunscreen that’s at least 30 SPF and rub it into any exposed skin. Reapply the bug spray and sunscreen about every 2 hours since the other applications will sweat off.
You can also wear a hat and sunglasses to keep the sun out of your eyes.
Check your legs and pants for ticks if you walk through tall grass.
2-9. Keep an emergency kit in your pack in case of an accident.
Include bandages and disinfectant so you can help with minor scrapes and cuts. Also pack a signal mirror, a piece of bright-colored cloth, and a whistle to make it easier to get someone else’s attention from a distance. Carry a headlamp with you just in case it gets dark so you can see the trail and are more visible to other people. Put matches and a pocket knife or multi-tool in the kit as well so you can start a fire and make repairs to your gear if you need to.
If you’re planning a multi-day trip, plan on bringing a tent or emergency shelter as well.
2-10. Use trekking poles to help brace your knees.
Trekking poles are sturdy walking sticks that take pressure off your knees so you don’t feel as sore at the end of your hike. Adjust the height of your trekking poles so they reach the ground when you have your elbows bent at 90 degrees. Make sure the poles have a comfortable grip, or else your hands will get sore as you use them.
You can buy trekking poles from your local outdoor supply store.
You do not need trekking poles for your hike if you don’t want them.
3. Conditioning for Advanced Hikes
3-1. Eat a meal with carbs and protein before your hike.
Carbs and protein help give your body energy so you don’t get exhausted while you’re out on your hike. Opt for something like oatmeal, eggs, pasta, and lean meat since they’re nutritious. Incorporate fruits and vegetables into your meal as well for additional carbs and natural sugars.
Avoid overeating since you may feel uncomfortable while you’re out hiking.
3-2. Go for long walks 2–3 times a week.
Walk at a comfortable pace where you can still hold a conversation without breathing heavily. Start with walks that are about 30–60 minutes long so you don’t get too worn out. Take a rest day between walks so you don’t get any sprains. At least once a week, go on a walk that’s 2 hours or longer so you can build your stamina. By the time you go on your hike, you should be comfortable going on walks that last 4–6 hours.
Try walking on different terrains since hiking trails aren’t usually paved.
Track how far you walk using your phone or smartwatch so you know your pace.
Take the stairs whenever you can so you get used to climbing elevation. If you have gym access, incline treadmill walking is a great way to condition for hiking.
3-3. Incorporate squats and lunges into your workout to strengthen your legs.
Keep your back straight and feet shoulder-width apart. To do a squat, bend your knees until they’re at a 90-degree angle. Hold the position for a count before standing up again. If you want to do a lunge, step forward with 1 leg and bend your knees at 90-degree angles. Push yourself back up to a standing position. Do 2–3 sets that are 10 reps each.
Working out your legs prevents them from getting sore and exhausted while you’re in the middle of your hike.
Hold dumbbells while performing squats or lunges if you want to build more muscle.
3-4. Exercise your core to improve your balance.
You’ll have to carry hiking gear and supplies, so it may be difficult to keep your balance on uneven trails. Try doing 10–20 sit-ups or holding a plank position for 30 seconds to help you build up your core. Aim to do 2–3 sets of each exercise at least 2–3 times per week.
3-5. Try foot exercises to prevent sprains and aches.
Spread a towel flat on the floor and set your foot on top of it. Keep your heel still and grab the towel with your toes. Pull the towel closer toward your heel before stretching your foot out again. Do this 5 times with each foot. You can also pick up marbles with your toes and drop them into a cup as an alternative way to stretch your arches.
If your feet get sore, lay a cold bottle horizontal on the floor and roll your foot over it.
3-6. Practice cardio exercises to help increase your stamina.
Even though going for a walk is a cardio exercise, try doing something that’s more high-intensity a few times a week. Focus on cardio exercises that work your legs, such as running, cycling, soccer, or swimming. Work on your cardio at least 2–3 times a week on top of your walks.
Include high-intensity cardio in your walks. For example, you could jog for 10–20 minutes in the middle of your walk to raise your heart rate.
Tips
While you’re out on your hike, don’t leave any waste behind and don’t disturb any nature so you don’t leave any trace. That way, you preserve the wildlife and trail conditions for others.[31]
X
Trustworthy Source
US National Park Service
Agency responsible for the maintenance and promotion of national parks and monuments
Go to source
Know your limits when you’re planning a hike and don’t choose a route that’s too long or difficult for you to complete.
Warnings
Avoid overpacking since you’ll have more weight to carry and you could get exhausted.
The temperature can change quickly while you’re hiking, so take a few extra layers of clothing just in case.
Always tell someone where you’re hiking and how long you expect to be gone if you go hiking alone. Check in with them frequently so they know you’re safe.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Planning Your Hike\\n1-1. Choose a trail that’s within your skill level.\\nIf you’re a beginner and you haven’t had a lot of experience hiking, pick shorter trails that have gentle inclines so you don’t get as tired. If you have more experience hiking, you can also try wilderness trails that are steeper or have more difficult footing. Only choose long, steep trails if you’ve been hiking a lot since they can be dangerous to attempt them if you aren’t prepared for the conditions.\\n1-2. Check the route and trail conditions online if you can.\\nSearch the park’s website for a trail map or use a hiking website, like AllTrails or Hiking Project, to find trails near you. Pay attention to how long the trail is and how long it normally takes to complete the round-trip. A few days before and on the morning of your hike, check the conditions to see if they’ve changed and affected the route. Make note of the trail condition so you can wear shoes that offer the most support.\\nTrails do close from time to time, so always be sure to check if they’re open before you leave for your hike.\\nMany other hikers rate and describe the trails they use, so read through them to see if the trail is right for you.\\nKeep track of the amount of time you’ve been hiking and leave the same amount of time before sunset so you can get back to your starting point before dark.\\n1-3. Look up the weather forecast so you can plan your outfit.\\nCheck the hourly forecast to see how warm it’s going to be during your hike. If it’s going to be cold, you’ll have to pack more layers so you stay warm. Also be sure to check if it’s going to rain, since you may want to bring a rain jacket or waterproof clothes so you stay dry.\\nThe temperature can drop quickly if you change altitudes during your hike, so bring extra layers of clothes in case you get cold.\\n1-4. Choose to hike in the morning or afternoon while the sun is out.\\nTrails are usually less busy in the morning and temperatures are cooler so you’ll feel more comfortable. Otherwise, pick a time in the afternoon while the sun is still out. Avoid hiking after dark if you can since you may not notice uneven trails and could get lost.\\nYour pace may vary depending on the difficulty of the trail.\\n1-5. Learn about what dangerous animals may live in the area.\\nHiking in the wilderness is great for getting closer to nature, but there may be some animals to avoid. Search on the park or trail’s website to find out what animals have been spotted in the area and what you should do if you encounter one.\\nFor example, there could be bears, wolves, or mountain lions in your area.\\nMost animals are as scared of you as you are scared of them. Usually, animals will avoid you as long as you avoid them.\\n1-6. Ask someone to hike with you so you stay safe.\\nAvoid hiking alone since you won’t be able to reach someone in case there’s an emergency. Talk to other friends that hike and see if they want to come with you. Otherwise, you may be able to find hiking groups in your area. Try using an app like Meetup or checking for flyers at an outdoor supply store.\\nAsk the person what distance they’re comfortable hiking. You may need to adjust your route if they aren’t as experienced.\\n1-7. Tell other people where you’re hiking and how long you’ll be gone.\\nBefore you leave, talk to other friends and family members and let them know exactly where you’re going. Show them a map of the trail and mention what time you plan to be finished. That way, someone knows where you are in case there’s an emergency.\\nWhile you’re out on the hike, try to check in on a set schedule so your friends and family know you’re safe.\\n2. Dressing and Packing\\n2-1. Wear breathable layers of clothing.\\nEven if you’re hiking in the heat of summer, bring multiple layers of thin, breathable clothes just in case it gets colder. Pack a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of pants so that you can put them on over your other clothes. Choose fabrics that are labeled “moisture-wicking” to help you stay cool and dry throughout the hike.\\nAvoid cotton clothing since it holds moisture and can get heavy.\\nOpt for lighter colors since you’ll feel cooler and you’ll be able to spot any ticks or pests easier.\\n2-2. Put on trail shoes or hiking boots for the best foot support.\\nIf you’re only going on a light hike on an easy trail, you can probably get away with wearing a comfortable pair of tennis shoes. Otherwise, look for trail shoes or hiking boots that are stiff so you don’t sprain or twist your ankle. Make sure your shoes or boots fit tightly and are comfortable since you’ll be walking in them for a few hours.\\nIf you’re breaking in new shoes or boots, wear them out for hikes that are 1–2 miles (1.6–3.2 km) to break them in. As they get more comfortable, increase your distance.\\n2-3. Carry your cell phone with you at all times.\\nMake sure your cell phone is in a convenient location where you won’t lose it. Put it in your pocket, an arm band, or a backpack so it can’t fall out. Use your phone to take pictures, track your location, watch the time, and to make phone calls if there’s an emergency.\\nCheck in with other friends and family throughout your hike so they know you’re safe.\\nConsider bringing a portable charger for your phone just in case the battery dies while you’re on the trail.\\nYou may not get service depending on where you’re hiking.\\n2-4. Use a backpack with chest or waist straps.\\nChoose a lightweight backpack so you don’t have a lot of weight to carry. Try to find something that fits well on your back and has comfortable padding on the straps. Check if there are straps that go around your chest and waist so you don’t have so much weight on your shoulders throughout the hike.\\nHiking backpacks are more lightweight and have more convenient storage than regular backpacks. You can buy one from an outdoor supply store, but they usually will cost around $50–200 USD.\\nAvoid stuffing your backpack full since it will get really heavy and will be difficult to carry.\\n2-5. Take a map and compass in case you get lost.\\nEven if you have a GPS on your phone, you may need to use a map in an emergency. Try to find a topographical map of the area so you can easily locate landmarks and trails. Make sure you have a compass so you can determine which direction you’re facing.\\nYou can usually get a trail map at a park ranger’s stations or a visitor center.\\nAs a quick reference, remember that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. If you find the sun in the sky, you can get a rough idea of which direction you’re facing.\\n2-6. Bring nutritious snacks with carbs and proteins to help you stay energized.\\nAvoid fatty or sugary snacks since they won’t provide as many nutrients. Instead, look for snacks that have lots of carbs or proteins, such as beef jerky, nuts, trail mix, or granola bars. You can also eat fruit and vegetables if you want something fresh. Always pack enough food so you have enough for an extra day just in case there’s an emergency.\\nOther foods you can bring include dried fruit, seeds, tuna or salmon pouches, and cheese.\\nKeep any food packaging in your backpack so you can throw it away properly later.\\n2-7. Pack 1 US pt (0.47 L) of water for every hour you’ll be gone.\\nLook for insulated water bottles so it stays cold while you’re hiking. Look at how much time it takes to hike the trail and have at least 1 US pint (0.47 L) per hour. Keep the water bottles in an easy-to-reach spot in the side or top pockets of your backpack.\\nYou may need more water if there are high temperatures or if you’re hiking a more strenuous trail.\\n2-8. Apply bug spray and sunscreen every 2 hours while hiking.\\nLook for bug spray that has DEET since it helps repel mosquitoes, flies, and ticks more efficiently. If the sun is out, get sunscreen that’s at least 30 SPF and rub it into any exposed skin. Reapply the bug spray and sunscreen about every 2 hours since the other applications will sweat off.\\nYou can also wear a hat and sunglasses to keep the sun out of your eyes.\\nCheck your legs and pants for ticks if you walk through tall grass.\\n2-9. Keep an emergency kit in your pack in case of an accident.\\nInclude bandages and disinfectant so you can help with minor scrapes and cuts. Also pack a signal mirror, a piece of bright-colored cloth, and a whistle to make it easier to get someone else’s attention from a distance. Carry a headlamp with you just in case it gets dark so you can see the trail and are more visible to other people. Put matches and a pocket knife or multi-tool in the kit as well so you can start a fire and make repairs to your gear if you need to.\\nIf you’re planning a multi-day trip, plan on bringing a tent or emergency shelter as well.\\n2-10. Use trekking poles to help brace your knees.\\nTrekking poles are sturdy walking sticks that take pressure off your knees so you don’t feel as sore at the end of your hike. Adjust the height of your trekking poles so they reach the ground when you have your elbows bent at 90 degrees. Make sure the poles have a comfortable grip, or else your hands will get sore as you use them.\\nYou can buy trekking poles from your local outdoor supply store.\\nYou do not need trekking poles for your hike if you don’t want them.\\n3. Conditioning for Advanced Hikes\\n3-1. Eat a meal with carbs and protein before your hike.\\nCarbs and protein help give your body energy so you don’t get exhausted while you’re out on your hike. Opt for something like oatmeal, eggs, pasta, and lean meat since they’re nutritious. Incorporate fruits and vegetables into your meal as well for additional carbs and natural sugars.\\nAvoid overeating since you may feel uncomfortable while you’re out hiking.\\n3-2. Go for long walks 2–3 times a week.\\nWalk at a comfortable pace where you can still hold a conversation without breathing heavily. Start with walks that are about 30–60 minutes long so you don’t get too worn out. Take a rest day between walks so you don’t get any sprains. At least once a week, go on a walk that’s 2 hours or longer so you can build your stamina. By the time you go on your hike, you should be comfortable going on walks that last 4–6 hours.\\nTry walking on different terrains since hiking trails aren’t usually paved.\\nTrack how far you walk using your phone or smartwatch so you know your pace.\\nTake the stairs whenever you can so you get used to climbing elevation. If you have gym access, incline treadmill walking is a great way to condition for hiking.\\n3-3. Incorporate squats and lunges into your workout to strengthen your legs.\\nKeep your back straight and feet shoulder-width apart. To do a squat, bend your knees until they’re at a 90-degree angle. Hold the position for a count before standing up again. If you want to do a lunge, step forward with 1 leg and bend your knees at 90-degree angles. Push yourself back up to a standing position. Do 2–3 sets that are 10 reps each.\\nWorking out your legs prevents them from getting sore and exhausted while you’re in the middle of your hike.\\nHold dumbbells while performing squats or lunges if you want to build more muscle.\\n3-4. Exercise your core to improve your balance.\\nYou’ll have to carry hiking gear and supplies, so it may be difficult to keep your balance on uneven trails. Try doing 10–20 sit-ups or holding a plank position for 30 seconds to help you build up your core. Aim to do 2–3 sets of each exercise at least 2–3 times per week.\\n3-5. Try foot exercises to prevent sprains and aches.\\nSpread a towel flat on the floor and set your foot on top of it. Keep your heel still and grab the towel with your toes. Pull the towel closer toward your heel before stretching your foot out again. Do this 5 times with each foot. You can also pick up marbles with your toes and drop them into a cup as an alternative way to stretch your arches.\\nIf your feet get sore, lay a cold bottle horizontal on the floor and roll your foot over it.\\n3-6. Practice cardio exercises to help increase your stamina.\\nEven though going for a walk is a cardio exercise, try doing something that’s more high-intensity a few times a week. Focus on cardio exercises that work your legs, such as running, cycling, soccer, or swimming. Work on your cardio at least 2–3 times a week on top of your walks.\\nInclude high-intensity cardio in your walks. For example, you could jog for 10–20 minutes in the middle of your walk to raise your heart rate.\\nTips\\nWhile you’re out on your hike, don’t leave any waste behind and don’t disturb any nature so you don’t leave any trace. That way, you preserve the wildlife and trail conditions for others.[31]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nUS National Park Service\\nAgency responsible for the maintenance and promotion of national parks and monuments\\nGo to source\\nKnow your limits when you’re planning a hike and don’t choose a route that’s too long or difficult for you to complete.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid overpacking since you’ll have more weight to carry and you could get exhausted.\\nThe temperature can change quickly while you’re hiking, so take a few extra layers of clothing just in case.\\nAlways tell someone where you’re hiking and how long you expect to be gone if you go hiking alone. Check in with them frequently so they know you’re safe.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Hiking is a great way to spend time outdoors and get a lot of exercise. While you may be eager to go out into the wilderness, taking time to prepare for your hike will help keep you safe and comfortable. Even if you’re just going out for a day hike, there are essentials you should bring with you. If you plan on going on a more advanced hike, warm up with some exercise beforehand so you don’t get exhausted later on. As long as you plan ahead, you'll be ready to take on any hike!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Planning Your Hike\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a trail that’s within your skill level.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re a beginner and you haven’t had a lot of experience hiking, pick shorter trails that have gentle inclines so you don’t get as tired. If you have more experience hiking, you can also try wilderness trails that are steeper or have more difficult footing. Only choose long, steep trails if you’ve been hiking a lot since they can be dangerous to attempt them if you aren’t prepared for the conditions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check the route and trail conditions online if you can.\", \"描述\": \"Search the park’s website for a trail map or use a hiking website, like AllTrails or Hiking Project, to find trails near you. Pay attention to how long the trail is and how long it normally takes to complete the round-trip. A few days before and on the morning of your hike, check the conditions to see if they’ve changed and affected the route. Make note of the trail condition so you can wear shoes that offer the most support.\\nTrails do close from time to time, so always be sure to check if they’re open before you leave for your hike.\\nMany other hikers rate and describe the trails they use, so read through them to see if the trail is right for you.\\nKeep track of the amount of time you’ve been hiking and leave the same amount of time before sunset so you can get back to your starting point before dark.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look up the weather forecast so you can plan your outfit.\", \"描述\": \"Check the hourly forecast to see how warm it’s going to be during your hike. If it’s going to be cold, you’ll have to pack more layers so you stay warm. Also be sure to check if it’s going to rain, since you may want to bring a rain jacket or waterproof clothes so you stay dry.\\nThe temperature can drop quickly if you change altitudes during your hike, so bring extra layers of clothes in case you get cold.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose to hike in the morning or afternoon while the sun is out.\", \"描述\": \"Trails are usually less busy in the morning and temperatures are cooler so you’ll feel more comfortable. Otherwise, pick a time in the afternoon while the sun is still out. Avoid hiking after dark if you can since you may not notice uneven trails and could get lost.\\nYour pace may vary depending on the difficulty of the trail.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn about what dangerous animals may live in the area.\", \"描述\": \"Hiking in the wilderness is great for getting closer to nature, but there may be some animals to avoid. Search on the park or trail’s website to find out what animals have been spotted in the area and what you should do if you encounter one.\\nFor example, there could be bears, wolves, or mountain lions in your area.\\nMost animals are as scared of you as you are scared of them. Usually, animals will avoid you as long as you avoid them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask someone to hike with you so you stay safe.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid hiking alone since you won’t be able to reach someone in case there’s an emergency. Talk to other friends that hike and see if they want to come with you. Otherwise, you may be able to find hiking groups in your area. Try using an app like Meetup or checking for flyers at an outdoor supply store.\\nAsk the person what distance they’re comfortable hiking. You may need to adjust your route if they aren’t as experienced.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tell other people where you’re hiking and how long you’ll be gone.\", \"描述\": \"Before you leave, talk to other friends and family members and let them know exactly where you’re going. Show them a map of the trail and mention what time you plan to be finished. That way, someone knows where you are in case there’s an emergency.\\nWhile you’re out on the hike, try to check in on a set schedule so your friends and family know you’re safe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing and Packing\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear breathable layers of clothing.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you’re hiking in the heat of summer, bring multiple layers of thin, breathable clothes just in case it gets colder. Pack a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of pants so that you can put them on over your other clothes. Choose fabrics that are labeled “moisture-wicking” to help you stay cool and dry throughout the hike.\\nAvoid cotton clothing since it holds moisture and can get heavy.\\nOpt for lighter colors since you’ll feel cooler and you’ll be able to spot any ticks or pests easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put on trail shoes or hiking boots for the best foot support.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re only going on a light hike on an easy trail, you can probably get away with wearing a comfortable pair of tennis shoes. Otherwise, look for trail shoes or hiking boots that are stiff so you don’t sprain or twist your ankle. Make sure your shoes or boots fit tightly and are comfortable since you’ll be walking in them for a few hours.\\nIf you’re breaking in new shoes or boots, wear them out for hikes that are 1–2 miles (1.6–3.2 km) to break them in. As they get more comfortable, increase your distance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Carry your cell phone with you at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure your cell phone is in a convenient location where you won’t lose it. Put it in your pocket, an arm band, or a backpack so it can’t fall out. Use your phone to take pictures, track your location, watch the time, and to make phone calls if there’s an emergency.\\nCheck in with other friends and family throughout your hike so they know you’re safe.\\nConsider bringing a portable charger for your phone just in case the battery dies while you’re on the trail.\\nYou may not get service depending on where you’re hiking.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a backpack with chest or waist straps.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a lightweight backpack so you don’t have a lot of weight to carry. Try to find something that fits well on your back and has comfortable padding on the straps. Check if there are straps that go around your chest and waist so you don’t have so much weight on your shoulders throughout the hike.\\nHiking backpacks are more lightweight and have more convenient storage than regular backpacks. You can buy one from an outdoor supply store, but they usually will cost around $50–200 USD.\\nAvoid stuffing your backpack full since it will get really heavy and will be difficult to carry.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take a map and compass in case you get lost.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you have a GPS on your phone, you may need to use a map in an emergency. Try to find a topographical map of the area so you can easily locate landmarks and trails. Make sure you have a compass so you can determine which direction you’re facing.\\nYou can usually get a trail map at a park ranger’s stations or a visitor center.\\nAs a quick reference, remember that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. If you find the sun in the sky, you can get a rough idea of which direction you’re facing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Bring nutritious snacks with carbs and proteins to help you stay energized.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid fatty or sugary snacks since they won’t provide as many nutrients. Instead, look for snacks that have lots of carbs or proteins, such as beef jerky, nuts, trail mix, or granola bars. You can also eat fruit and vegetables if you want something fresh. Always pack enough food so you have enough for an extra day just in case there’s an emergency.\\nOther foods you can bring include dried fruit, seeds, tuna or salmon pouches, and cheese.\\nKeep any food packaging in your backpack so you can throw it away properly later.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pack 1 US pt (0.47 L) of water for every hour you’ll be gone.\", \"描述\": \"Look for insulated water bottles so it stays cold while you’re hiking. Look at how much time it takes to hike the trail and have at least 1 US pint (0.47 L) per hour. Keep the water bottles in an easy-to-reach spot in the side or top pockets of your backpack.\\nYou may need more water if there are high temperatures or if you’re hiking a more strenuous trail.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Apply bug spray and sunscreen every 2 hours while hiking.\", \"描述\": \"Look for bug spray that has DEET since it helps repel mosquitoes, flies, and ticks more efficiently. If the sun is out, get sunscreen that’s at least 30 SPF and rub it into any exposed skin. Reapply the bug spray and sunscreen about every 2 hours since the other applications will sweat off.\\nYou can also wear a hat and sunglasses to keep the sun out of your eyes.\\nCheck your legs and pants for ticks if you walk through tall grass.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep an emergency kit in your pack in case of an accident.\", \"描述\": \"Include bandages and disinfectant so you can help with minor scrapes and cuts. Also pack a signal mirror, a piece of bright-colored cloth, and a whistle to make it easier to get someone else’s attention from a distance. Carry a headlamp with you just in case it gets dark so you can see the trail and are more visible to other people. Put matches and a pocket knife or multi-tool in the kit as well so you can start a fire and make repairs to your gear if you need to.\\nIf you’re planning a multi-day trip, plan on bringing a tent or emergency shelter as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Use trekking poles to help brace your knees.\", \"描述\": \"Trekking poles are sturdy walking sticks that take pressure off your knees so you don’t feel as sore at the end of your hike. Adjust the height of your trekking poles so they reach the ground when you have your elbows bent at 90 degrees. Make sure the poles have a comfortable grip, or else your hands will get sore as you use them.\\nYou can buy trekking poles from your local outdoor supply store.\\nYou do not need trekking poles for your hike if you don’t want them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Conditioning for Advanced Hikes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Eat a meal with carbs and protein before your hike.\", \"描述\": \"Carbs and protein help give your body energy so you don’t get exhausted while you’re out on your hike. Opt for something like oatmeal, eggs, pasta, and lean meat since they’re nutritious. Incorporate fruits and vegetables into your meal as well for additional carbs and natural sugars.\\nAvoid overeating since you may feel uncomfortable while you’re out hiking.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go for long walks 2–3 times a week.\", \"描述\": \"Walk at a comfortable pace where you can still hold a conversation without breathing heavily. Start with walks that are about 30–60 minutes long so you don’t get too worn out. Take a rest day between walks so you don’t get any sprains. At least once a week, go on a walk that’s 2 hours or longer so you can build your stamina. By the time you go on your hike, you should be comfortable going on walks that last 4–6 hours.\\nTry walking on different terrains since hiking trails aren’t usually paved.\\nTrack how far you walk using your phone or smartwatch so you know your pace.\\nTake the stairs whenever you can so you get used to climbing elevation. If you have gym access, incline treadmill walking is a great way to condition for hiking.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Incorporate squats and lunges into your workout to strengthen your legs.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your back straight and feet shoulder-width apart. To do a squat, bend your knees until they’re at a 90-degree angle. Hold the position for a count before standing up again. If you want to do a lunge, step forward with 1 leg and bend your knees at 90-degree angles. Push yourself back up to a standing position. Do 2–3 sets that are 10 reps each.\\nWorking out your legs prevents them from getting sore and exhausted while you’re in the middle of your hike.\\nHold dumbbells while performing squats or lunges if you want to build more muscle.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exercise your core to improve your balance.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll have to carry hiking gear and supplies, so it may be difficult to keep your balance on uneven trails. Try doing 10–20 sit-ups or holding a plank position for 30 seconds to help you build up your core. Aim to do 2–3 sets of each exercise at least 2–3 times per week.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try foot exercises to prevent sprains and aches.\", \"描述\": \"Spread a towel flat on the floor and set your foot on top of it. Keep your heel still and grab the towel with your toes. Pull the towel closer toward your heel before stretching your foot out again. Do this 5 times with each foot. You can also pick up marbles with your toes and drop them into a cup as an alternative way to stretch your arches.\\nIf your feet get sore, lay a cold bottle horizontal on the floor and roll your foot over it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Practice cardio exercises to help increase your stamina.\", \"描述\": \"Even though going for a walk is a cardio exercise, try doing something that’s more high-intensity a few times a week. Focus on cardio exercises that work your legs, such as running, cycling, soccer, or swimming. Work on your cardio at least 2–3 times a week on top of your walks.\\nInclude high-intensity cardio in your walks. For example, you could jog for 10–20 minutes in the middle of your walk to raise your heart rate.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While you’re out on your hike, don’t leave any waste behind and don’t disturb any nature so you don’t leave any trace. That way, you preserve the wildlife and trail conditions for others.[31]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nUS National Park Service\\nAgency responsible for the maintenance and promotion of national parks and monuments\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Know your limits when you’re planning a hike and don’t choose a route that’s too long or difficult for you to complete.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid overpacking since you’ll have more weight to carry and you could get exhausted.\\n\", \"The temperature can change quickly while you’re hiking, so take a few extra layers of clothing just in case.\\n\", \"Always tell someone where you’re hiking and how long you expect to be gone if you go hiking alone. Check in with them frequently so they know you’re safe.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,062 | How to Be Preppy, Girly, and Feminine | 1. Steps
Evaluate your current social situation-are you a wallflower, an outcast, or an average girl?
Knowing where you stand can help you gain perspective of what you need to do to gain prep status.
2. Looking Nice
2-1. Be clean.
Being hygienic is an absolute must if you want to be preppy and girly. It helps with your preppy appearance and girly behaviour, as well as with your femininity. So, learn the basics here.
Use whitening toothpaste like Crest and Colgate, and a good toothbrush. Yellow teeth are not feminine on anyone.
If you wear braces, don't let it stop you! Braces are not a bad thing. Eventually, they will make you look even better than you already do. You can get clear braces or braces behind your teeth.
Clean your tongue, a clean tongue avoids bad breath. Tongue cleaners are easy to find at drugstores and supermarkets.
Use mouthwash after brushing your teeth, Listerine and Act are both top brands that get the job done.
Baking soda and mashed strawberry will both whiten teeth overtime, but use them sparingly as they can wear tooth enamel off.
Take a shower. You need to wash your body everyday with a sweet smelling soap or shower gel.
Use deodorant and perfume. Wear a vanilla or floral scented perfume and a sweet smelling deodorant.
2-2. Wash your face with warm water in the morning before going to school to look fresh, especially if you are not a morning person!
Stay moisturised because you really don't want dry skin! Also, try using skin care products such as ProActive, Clean and Clear or anything that works for your skin. You can also make or buy a face mask; this is optional if you have the time. Use a nice smelling lotion after your evening shower to smell fresh and sweet and be soft all day long.
2-3. Brush your hair everyday to keep it smooth and stylish.
You should never have unkempt hair. Have natural and clean hair. Unnatural colors or weird hair cuts are not preppy at all. Your hair should always be clean, shiny, and well groomed.
Wash your hair every other day with a matching shampoo and conditioner made for your hair. Use conditioner everyday.
Curling irons and flattening irons are quick go-to's for bad hair days, but they are very damaging to your hair. Use heat protector, so your hair maintains a healthy shiny look.
If you want to have shiny hair, wash it with cold water after shampooing. Use natural ingredients such as avocado oil and olive oil for smooth hair, tea tree oil for dandruff, and much more. This will make your hair look polished and clean.
Wear sophisticated and stylish hairstyles. Comb your hair with a comb or a hairbrush. There are many different preppy hairstyles. The side bun, straight hair, loose barrel rolls, side braid, the fishtail braid, or a high-fashion ponytail.
Add some finishing touches or hair accessories. Wear barrettes, bows, flower crowns, or headbands. These can help you to look cute and stylish.
If you have short hair, you can do lots of different hairstyles and haircuts that fit you. Make sure haircuts are flattering to your face, and if you wish, use some small hair accessories.
2-4. Wear a bit of makeup to hide imperfections and highlight your features.
Use primer and a moisturizer. Makeup does not have to be from expensive department stores; if makeup from the drug store works well for you and makes you look good; use it! It's all about making you look your best and making you feel good; makeup is not about brands. Makeup is the epitome of being girly. Try watching some YouTube videos to some new learn techniques for applying makeup.
For foundation, get something with SPF protection from Lancome or Clinique.
Always wear lip balm to prevent your lips from chapping, and then add some lip gloss to add that glossy and shiny look to your lips. If you want to have some colour on your lips and you love shiny lips, try some tinted/coloured lip gloss. Don't overdo it though.
You can also wear a bit of eyeshadow. Some natural colors for school are light brown, gold, dark gold and brown.
Try watching YouTube videos to get the makeup basics.
Always wear lip balm to prevent your lips from chapping, and then add some lip gloss to add that glossy and shiny look to your lips. If you want to have some colour on your lips and you love shiny lips, try some tinted/coloured lip gloss. Don't overdo it though.
You can also wear a bit of eyeshadow. Some natural colors for school are light brown, gold, dark gold and brown.
2-5. Eat well and take care of your body.
Take up a school sport such as (any type of English riding), rowing, swim, soccer, or whatever else your school offers. Your body doesn’t have to be perfect; being preppy shows more in how you act and treat others around you, but participating in preppy sports never hurts.
2-6. Adopt the sports.
Sports like tennis, track, golf, dance, lacrosse, polo, tennis, volleyball, softball, swim, ballet, gymnastics, cheerleading, and track are preppy and girly. Participate in at least two sports.
Practice every single living breathing second you can. You need to be an expert to make the team.
Develop a healthy workout and exercise regimen to keep in shape.
Don't become overweight, obese, or morbidly obese, as this leads to health problems and problems with playing sports.
Try to have a healthy diet.
3. Dressing nicely
3-1. Wear cute shoes.
Make sure you're comfortable in them, but make sure they're also cute as well.
Boots are great. This doesn't mean rain boots, just boots such as ankle-high boots and knee-high boots. Boots look great with a nice skirt.
Wear ballet flats to look elegant in school. If you want to look elegant while making a bold fashion statement at the same time, try wearing a pair of slippers. Again, they match well with a skirt.
Avoid high heels. They hurt your feet and cause knee problems. Kitten heels or shoes with a slight heel are fine though.
You can be creative by making your own pair of shoes.
3-2. Wear good-looking, put-together outfits if your school doesn't require you to wear uniforms.
It doesn't have to be extravagant - simple outfits can do wonders!
Wear skirts rather than jeans. You will look - and feel - much more girly, especially if all your friends are in jeans. You can match this with a cute jacket or sweater on top.
Casual dresses with a bold belt (studded belt, neon belt etc.) can look really awesome if you put the look together properly.
There are certain stores that cater to the "girly girl" image. Try checking out those stores and seeing what you can find. Be careful, though - they can be expensive!
3-3. If you're in a school that requires a uniform, jazz up your uniform.
Depending on how strict your school is, you may be able to get away with some alterations to the uniform. However, make sure you don't do anything that would get you in trouble for messing with the uniform!
Wear a cute, girly scarf or put a jacket or a sweater on top.
Don't make your uniforms look dull and baggy, make it look as lively as possible.
If your school won't let you alter your uniform, just act more girly in general. By doing this, people will see the more girly you! Be polite and kind to others, always listen and get rid of any nasty vocabulary you might have been using.
Don't overdo it. People won't like you if you start acting like a snob.
3-4. Learn to dress preppy.
Wearing certain brands, styles, and outfit combinations create the preppy look. So, learn the secrets of success in preppy dressing.
Shirts should be polo shirts, oxford shirts, tunics, dresses, solid colored shirts, and T shirts all either in pastel or bright colors and solid or with a simple pattern like floral, polka dots, or stripes. They should be made of soft material like silk, cotton, or spandex.
Try to add blazers in black, white or navy colours to your clothes to give a preppy look. Having them unbuttoned looks best.
Pants should be skinny jeans, khakis, slacks, Bermuda shorts, proper length skirts, dockers, and dresses in colors like navy blue, khaki, brown, and black. They should be solid colored or skirts with minimal patterns. Also, materials should be denim, corduroy, cotton, or polyester.
3-5. Be classy and fashionable.
Never wear excessively revealing clothing! Stay away from extreme fads as well!
Good brands to buy from are Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Banana Republic, Vineyard Vines, J. Press, Lilly Pulitzer, or any other place that sells good quality clothes.
Wear a lot of polos, rugby shirts, blouses, cardigans, cable knit sweaters, khakis, bermuda shorts, quality denim,and tea dresses.
3-6. Buy from sports brand stores.
What is important is to dress for the occasion--do not let these labels slip into your everyday wear.
3-7. Never shop from 'mainstream' clothing stores like Hollister, Abercrombie, and Aeropostale.
Wearing those brands is not preppy, and everyone knows it. You can find cute outfits at thrift stores. No-one knows how many previous owners your clothes have had unless you tell them. If you are low on cash, check out discount stores such as Goodwill and Plato's Closet. They will almost always have designer clothes for a fraction of the cost!
3-8. Buy brands like Coach, Burberry, Dooney and Bourke, Hérmes, Chanel, or Frank Clegg.
Monogrammed bags from L.L Bean are also a plus.
3-9. Wear 'preppy' shoes.
Wear conservative ballet flats, top siders, loafers (Penny loafers are recommended.), dock siders, conservative wedges, and nice sandals, to name a few.
3-10. Accessorise lightly.
A ponytail with a ribbon tied at the base is very classic. Try family heirlooms, such as your mother's silver bracelet or your grand mother's diamond necklace. A simple charm bracelet (preferably gold in color) or sparkly headband should do the trick. Try to look simplistic, never gaudy. No need for 20 bracelets, necklaces, or piercings. This doesn't have to be limited to what you wear - try decorating your bag or school supplies, too!
Wear simple jewellery. Always wear a pair of colourful earrings, a cute necklace, and sometimes a bracelet. However, don't go overboard; you don't want to jingle when you walk!
Pearls, gold, sterling silver, and diamonds scream girly. Faux or legitimate, as long as they look real, you're fine.
If your bag looks boring, decorate it. Put cute badges and key-chains on it or sew different fabric swatches on your bag to add a creative and artsy yet girly flair.
If you have school supplies that belong to you, such as a binder or a notebook, don't be afraid to decorate it! Glue photos to it, put stickers on it, or do whatever you want. However, if you have something that belongs to the school, such as a textbook, don't decorate that. You don't want to get fined for vandalism.
3-11. Dazzle up your nails.
French manicures are good because they are sophisticated and simple. You can also go bold with your nails by adding some colorful nail art to your nails or by using a bright or sparkly nail colour.
If you go to a strict school, you may not be allowed to wear nail polish or nail decorations. However, a clear polish won't be noticed and will make your nails look shinier.
4. Being preppy and girly
4-1. Walk gracefully and don't get in trouble very often.
Don't shake your hips too much; many people find that strange or annoying. Don't skip or run around the school. After all, girly girls are also cute, and how is getting in trouble cute, sweet, and innocent?
4-2. Don't be mean and snobby.
Don't act like you're suddenly famous and rich. Be kind. Meet new friends, and just have fun!
4-3. Do Well in School
If you can't attend a preparatory or grammar school, at least try to take advanced placement (AP) or accelerated courses in almost everything you can. If your school offers electives, choose preparatory vocational training classes (such as culinary, architecture, or agricultural science) rather than an "easy A" class. Taking student council or a physical education class is also good.
Try to focus your high school career on getting good grades and participating in clubs, sports, and organizations. It's okay to have fun sometimes, but it's important to realize that school is important. Use your school's resources (pre-ACT/SAT classes, tutoring, library, etc.) and try your best to earn scholarships!
Take a foreign language if your school offers it. Many universities require 2-3 years of a foreign language for admission, and you will look very educated. Preps take education very seriously, and can always hold up a conversation about any topic; be very well rounded.
4-4. Develop good manners and class.
Good manners are a necessity to being feminine, and it's just good to have them. Feminine girls act properly in all situations. They know how to speak, act, write, eat, and be at all times. And they do it all with poise and grace. Here are some simple things you can do.
Real preps are always polite and kind. Preps are never rude, mean, or unpleasant. They are never bullies, and should always be able to make others feel good about themselves.
Preps do little to no cursing. They treat adults with respect, and follow their rules. They surround themselves with positive, kind people, much like themselves. They are people you can go to with a problem, and they will help.
Saying "Thank you", "Excuse me", "I'm sorry", and "Please" is basic etiquette. Don't blow up when someone does not display manners, simply ignore them and carry on as normally and politely as you can.
Stand tall, shoulders back and chin up. When you sit, learn to keep your legs together.
Love the dictionary and thesaurus! 'Don't type Or write Lykee This' on the internet, you should know how to type, write and speak correctly.
Learn table manners. If you don't have time you can search it at Google. For the basic and most common table etiquette, you should keep your elbows off of the table, don't slouch, keep your mouth closed while chewing, don't smack and don't talk with your mouth full.
4-5. Begin girly hobbies.
Girly hobbies come across as preppy and girly.
Examples of good hobbies relating to fashion: jewelry making, sewing, designing fashions.
4-6. Be polite and friendly to everyone--not just other preps.
It is quite unmannerly to be rude to someone simply for their difference. Don't be confrontational or aggressive, as that will cause people to view you negatively.
4-7. Maintain your reputation.
Don't be vulgar or shout when you talk. People view that as being obnoxious, rude and annoying.
Tips
Be someone who could help someone in their time of need.
Don't only hang out with guys or girls. Try to have both boy and girl friends.
Don't stop being yourself for being popular. People should love your true personality.
Warnings
Do not do this if you are not being true to yourself.
People may tease you for being classy.
You may get shunned by your friends.
Never brag about money.
Don't change overnight or people will call you a poser.
If you're trying to be a girly girl to be accepted by a group, think about why you're doing it. Are you doing it for approval, because you want a different scene, or because you want to be popular and liked? Keep in mind that if you're not already somewhat girly, suddenly becoming all-out girly will cause people to think you're faking it.
People might think you are trying to be fake. Be careful. This change could affect your personality, too. Try to be as much like you as possible.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\nEvaluate your current social situation-are you a wallflower, an outcast, or an average girl?\\nKnowing where you stand can help you gain perspective of what you need to do to gain prep status.\\n2. Looking Nice\\n2-1. Be clean.\\nBeing hygienic is an absolute must if you want to be preppy and girly. It helps with your preppy appearance and girly behaviour, as well as with your femininity. So, learn the basics here.\\nUse whitening toothpaste like Crest and Colgate, and a good toothbrush. Yellow teeth are not feminine on anyone.\\nIf you wear braces, don't let it stop you! Braces are not a bad thing. Eventually, they will make you look even better than you already do. You can get clear braces or braces behind your teeth.\\nClean your tongue, a clean tongue avoids bad breath. Tongue cleaners are easy to find at drugstores and supermarkets.\\nUse mouthwash after brushing your teeth, Listerine and Act are both top brands that get the job done.\\nBaking soda and mashed strawberry will both whiten teeth overtime, but use them sparingly as they can wear tooth enamel off.\\nTake a shower. You need to wash your body everyday with a sweet smelling soap or shower gel.\\nUse deodorant and perfume. Wear a vanilla or floral scented perfume and a sweet smelling deodorant.\\n2-2. Wash your face with warm water in the morning before going to school to look fresh, especially if you are not a morning person!\\nStay moisturised because you really don't want dry skin! Also, try using skin care products such as ProActive, Clean and Clear or anything that works for your skin. You can also make or buy a face mask; this is optional if you have the time. Use a nice smelling lotion after your evening shower to smell fresh and sweet and be soft all day long.\\n2-3. Brush your hair everyday to keep it smooth and stylish.\\nYou should never have unkempt hair. Have natural and clean hair. Unnatural colors or weird hair cuts are not preppy at all. Your hair should always be clean, shiny, and well groomed.\\nWash your hair every other day with a matching shampoo and conditioner made for your hair. Use conditioner everyday.\\nCurling irons and flattening irons are quick go-to's for bad hair days, but they are very damaging to your hair. Use heat protector, so your hair maintains a healthy shiny look.\\nIf you want to have shiny hair, wash it with cold water after shampooing. Use natural ingredients such as avocado oil and olive oil for smooth hair, tea tree oil for dandruff, and much more. This will make your hair look polished and clean.\\nWear sophisticated and stylish hairstyles. Comb your hair with a comb or a hairbrush. There are many different preppy hairstyles. The side bun, straight hair, loose barrel rolls, side braid, the fishtail braid, or a high-fashion ponytail.\\nAdd some finishing touches or hair accessories. Wear barrettes, bows, flower crowns, or headbands. These can help you to look cute and stylish.\\nIf you have short hair, you can do lots of different hairstyles and haircuts that fit you. Make sure haircuts are flattering to your face, and if you wish, use some small hair accessories.\\n2-4. Wear a bit of makeup to hide imperfections and highlight your features.\\nUse primer and a moisturizer. Makeup does not have to be from expensive department stores; if makeup from the drug store works well for you and makes you look good; use it! It's all about making you look your best and making you feel good; makeup is not about brands. Makeup is the epitome of being girly. Try watching some YouTube videos to some new learn techniques for applying makeup.\\nFor foundation, get something with SPF protection from Lancome or Clinique.\\nAlways wear lip balm to prevent your lips from chapping, and then add some lip gloss to add that glossy and shiny look to your lips. If you want to have some colour on your lips and you love shiny lips, try some tinted/coloured lip gloss. Don't overdo it though.\\nYou can also wear a bit of eyeshadow. Some natural colors for school are light brown, gold, dark gold and brown.\\nTry watching YouTube videos to get the makeup basics.\\nAlways wear lip balm to prevent your lips from chapping, and then add some lip gloss to add that glossy and shiny look to your lips. If you want to have some colour on your lips and you love shiny lips, try some tinted/coloured lip gloss. Don't overdo it though.\\nYou can also wear a bit of eyeshadow. Some natural colors for school are light brown, gold, dark gold and brown.\\n2-5. Eat well and take care of your body.\\nTake up a school sport such as (any type of English riding), rowing, swim, soccer, or whatever else your school offers. Your body doesn’t have to be perfect; being preppy shows more in how you act and treat others around you, but participating in preppy sports never hurts.\\n2-6. Adopt the sports.\\nSports like tennis, track, golf, dance, lacrosse, polo, tennis, volleyball, softball, swim, ballet, gymnastics, cheerleading, and track are preppy and girly. Participate in at least two sports. \\nPractice every single living breathing second you can. You need to be an expert to make the team.\\nDevelop a healthy workout and exercise regimen to keep in shape.\\nDon't become overweight, obese, or morbidly obese, as this leads to health problems and problems with playing sports.\\nTry to have a healthy diet.\\n3. Dressing nicely\\n3-1. Wear cute shoes.\\nMake sure you're comfortable in them, but make sure they're also cute as well.\\nBoots are great. This doesn't mean rain boots, just boots such as ankle-high boots and knee-high boots. Boots look great with a nice skirt.\\nWear ballet flats to look elegant in school. If you want to look elegant while making a bold fashion statement at the same time, try wearing a pair of slippers. Again, they match well with a skirt.\\nAvoid high heels. They hurt your feet and cause knee problems. Kitten heels or shoes with a slight heel are fine though.\\nYou can be creative by making your own pair of shoes.\\n3-2. Wear good-looking, put-together outfits if your school doesn't require you to wear uniforms.\\nIt doesn't have to be extravagant - simple outfits can do wonders!\\nWear skirts rather than jeans. You will look - and feel - much more girly, especially if all your friends are in jeans. You can match this with a cute jacket or sweater on top.\\nCasual dresses with a bold belt (studded belt, neon belt etc.) can look really awesome if you put the look together properly.\\nThere are certain stores that cater to the \\\"girly girl\\\" image. Try checking out those stores and seeing what you can find. Be careful, though - they can be expensive!\\n3-3. If you're in a school that requires a uniform, jazz up your uniform.\\nDepending on how strict your school is, you may be able to get away with some alterations to the uniform. However, make sure you don't do anything that would get you in trouble for messing with the uniform!\\nWear a cute, girly scarf or put a jacket or a sweater on top.\\nDon't make your uniforms look dull and baggy, make it look as lively as possible.\\nIf your school won't let you alter your uniform, just act more girly in general. By doing this, people will see the more girly you! Be polite and kind to others, always listen and get rid of any nasty vocabulary you might have been using.\\nDon't overdo it. People won't like you if you start acting like a snob.\\n3-4. Learn to dress preppy.\\nWearing certain brands, styles, and outfit combinations create the preppy look. So, learn the secrets of success in preppy dressing.\\nShirts should be polo shirts, oxford shirts, tunics, dresses, solid colored shirts, and T shirts all either in pastel or bright colors and solid or with a simple pattern like floral, polka dots, or stripes. They should be made of soft material like silk, cotton, or spandex.\\nTry to add blazers in black, white or navy colours to your clothes to give a preppy look. Having them unbuttoned looks best.\\nPants should be skinny jeans, khakis, slacks, Bermuda shorts, proper length skirts, dockers, and dresses in colors like navy blue, khaki, brown, and black. They should be solid colored or skirts with minimal patterns. Also, materials should be denim, corduroy, cotton, or polyester.\\n3-5. Be classy and fashionable.\\nNever wear excessively revealing clothing! Stay away from extreme fads as well!\\nGood brands to buy from are Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Banana Republic, Vineyard Vines, J. Press, Lilly Pulitzer, or any other place that sells good quality clothes.\\nWear a lot of polos, rugby shirts, blouses, cardigans, cable knit sweaters, khakis, bermuda shorts, quality denim,and tea dresses.\\n3-6. Buy from sports brand stores.\\nWhat is important is to dress for the occasion--do not let these labels slip into your everyday wear.\\n3-7. Never shop from 'mainstream' clothing stores like Hollister, Abercrombie, and Aeropostale.\\nWearing those brands is not preppy, and everyone knows it. You can find cute outfits at thrift stores. No-one knows how many previous owners your clothes have had unless you tell them. If you are low on cash, check out discount stores such as Goodwill and Plato's Closet. They will almost always have designer clothes for a fraction of the cost!\\n3-8. Buy brands like Coach, Burberry, Dooney and Bourke, Hérmes, Chanel, or Frank Clegg.\\nMonogrammed bags from L.L Bean are also a plus.\\n3-9. Wear 'preppy' shoes.\\nWear conservative ballet flats, top siders, loafers (Penny loafers are recommended.), dock siders, conservative wedges, and nice sandals, to name a few.\\n3-10. Accessorise lightly.\\nA ponytail with a ribbon tied at the base is very classic. Try family heirlooms, such as your mother's silver bracelet or your grand mother's diamond necklace. A simple charm bracelet (preferably gold in color) or sparkly headband should do the trick. Try to look simplistic, never gaudy. No need for 20 bracelets, necklaces, or piercings. This doesn't have to be limited to what you wear - try decorating your bag or school supplies, too!\\nWear simple jewellery. Always wear a pair of colourful earrings, a cute necklace, and sometimes a bracelet. However, don't go overboard; you don't want to jingle when you walk!\\nPearls, gold, sterling silver, and diamonds scream girly. Faux or legitimate, as long as they look real, you're fine.\\nIf your bag looks boring, decorate it. Put cute badges and key-chains on it or sew different fabric swatches on your bag to add a creative and artsy yet girly flair.\\nIf you have school supplies that belong to you, such as a binder or a notebook, don't be afraid to decorate it! Glue photos to it, put stickers on it, or do whatever you want. However, if you have something that belongs to the school, such as a textbook, don't decorate that. You don't want to get fined for vandalism.\\n3-11. Dazzle up your nails.\\nFrench manicures are good because they are sophisticated and simple. You can also go bold with your nails by adding some colorful nail art to your nails or by using a bright or sparkly nail colour.\\nIf you go to a strict school, you may not be allowed to wear nail polish or nail decorations. However, a clear polish won't be noticed and will make your nails look shinier.\\n4. Being preppy and girly\\n4-1. Walk gracefully and don't get in trouble very often.\\nDon't shake your hips too much; many people find that strange or annoying. Don't skip or run around the school. After all, girly girls are also cute, and how is getting in trouble cute, sweet, and innocent?\\n4-2. Don't be mean and snobby.\\nDon't act like you're suddenly famous and rich. Be kind. Meet new friends, and just have fun!\\n4-3. Do Well in School\\nIf you can't attend a preparatory or grammar school, at least try to take advanced placement (AP) or accelerated courses in almost everything you can. If your school offers electives, choose preparatory vocational training classes (such as culinary, architecture, or agricultural science) rather than an \\\"easy A\\\" class. Taking student council or a physical education class is also good.\\nTry to focus your high school career on getting good grades and participating in clubs, sports, and organizations. It's okay to have fun sometimes, but it's important to realize that school is important. Use your school's resources (pre-ACT/SAT classes, tutoring, library, etc.) and try your best to earn scholarships!\\nTake a foreign language if your school offers it. Many universities require 2-3 years of a foreign language for admission, and you will look very educated. Preps take education very seriously, and can always hold up a conversation about any topic; be very well rounded.\\n4-4. Develop good manners and class.\\nGood manners are a necessity to being feminine, and it's just good to have them. Feminine girls act properly in all situations. They know how to speak, act, write, eat, and be at all times. And they do it all with poise and grace. Here are some simple things you can do. \\nReal preps are always polite and kind. Preps are never rude, mean, or unpleasant. They are never bullies, and should always be able to make others feel good about themselves.\\nPreps do little to no cursing. They treat adults with respect, and follow their rules. They surround themselves with positive, kind people, much like themselves. They are people you can go to with a problem, and they will help.\\nSaying \\\"Thank you\\\", \\\"Excuse me\\\", \\\"I'm sorry\\\", and \\\"Please\\\" is basic etiquette. Don't blow up when someone does not display manners, simply ignore them and carry on as normally and politely as you can.\\nStand tall, shoulders back and chin up. When you sit, learn to keep your legs together.\\nLove the dictionary and thesaurus! 'Don't type Or write Lykee This' on the internet, you should know how to type, write and speak correctly.\\nLearn table manners. If you don't have time you can search it at Google. For the basic and most common table etiquette, you should keep your elbows off of the table, don't slouch, keep your mouth closed while chewing, don't smack and don't talk with your mouth full.\\n4-5. Begin girly hobbies.\\nGirly hobbies come across as preppy and girly. \\nExamples of good hobbies relating to fashion: jewelry making, sewing, designing fashions.\\n4-6. Be polite and friendly to everyone--not just other preps.\\nIt is quite unmannerly to be rude to someone simply for their difference. Don't be confrontational or aggressive, as that will cause people to view you negatively.\\n4-7. Maintain your reputation.\\nDon't be vulgar or shout when you talk. People view that as being obnoxious, rude and annoying.\\nTips\\nBe someone who could help someone in their time of need.\\nDon't only hang out with guys or girls. Try to have both boy and girl friends.\\nDon't stop being yourself for being popular. People should love your true personality.\\nWarnings\\nDo not do this if you are not being true to yourself.\\nPeople may tease you for being classy.\\nYou may get shunned by your friends.\\nNever brag about money.\\nDon't change overnight or people will call you a poser.\\nIf you're trying to be a girly girl to be accepted by a group, think about why you're doing it. Are you doing it for approval, because you want a different scene, or because you want to be popular and liked? Keep in mind that if you're not already somewhat girly, suddenly becoming all-out girly will cause people to think you're faking it.\\nPeople might think you are trying to be fake. Be careful. This change could affect your personality, too. Try to be as much like you as possible.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever wanted to release your inner preppy, girly, and feminine side? It is possible. You can dress preppy, act girly, and be feminine all at once. This article will tell you how.\\n\\nThis Article has been merged with Be a \\\"Preppy\\\" Girl in High School and Be a Girly Girl in School.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluate your current social situation-are you a wallflower, an outcast, or an average girl?\", \"描述\": \"Knowing where you stand can help you gain perspective of what you need to do to gain prep status.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Looking Nice\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be clean.\", \"描述\": \"Being hygienic is an absolute must if you want to be preppy and girly. It helps with your preppy appearance and girly behaviour, as well as with your femininity. So, learn the basics here.\\nUse whitening toothpaste like Crest and Colgate, and a good toothbrush. Yellow teeth are not feminine on anyone.\\nIf you wear braces, don't let it stop you! Braces are not a bad thing. Eventually, they will make you look even better than you already do. You can get clear braces or braces behind your teeth.\\nClean your tongue, a clean tongue avoids bad breath. Tongue cleaners are easy to find at drugstores and supermarkets.\\nUse mouthwash after brushing your teeth, Listerine and Act are both top brands that get the job done.\\nBaking soda and mashed strawberry will both whiten teeth overtime, but use them sparingly as they can wear tooth enamel off.\\nTake a shower. You need to wash your body everyday with a sweet smelling soap or shower gel.\\nUse deodorant and perfume. Wear a vanilla or floral scented perfume and a sweet smelling deodorant.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wash your face with warm water in the morning before going to school to look fresh, especially if you are not a morning person!\", \"描述\": \"Stay moisturised because you really don't want dry skin! Also, try using skin care products such as ProActive, Clean and Clear or anything that works for your skin. You can also make or buy a face mask; this is optional if you have the time. Use a nice smelling lotion after your evening shower to smell fresh and sweet and be soft all day long.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Brush your hair everyday to keep it smooth and stylish.\", \"描述\": \"You should never have unkempt hair. Have natural and clean hair. Unnatural colors or weird hair cuts are not preppy at all. Your hair should always be clean, shiny, and well groomed.\\nWash your hair every other day with a matching shampoo and conditioner made for your hair. Use conditioner everyday.\\nCurling irons and flattening irons are quick go-to's for bad hair days, but they are very damaging to your hair. Use heat protector, so your hair maintains a healthy shiny look.\\nIf you want to have shiny hair, wash it with cold water after shampooing. Use natural ingredients such as avocado oil and olive oil for smooth hair, tea tree oil for dandruff, and much more. This will make your hair look polished and clean.\\nWear sophisticated and stylish hairstyles. Comb your hair with a comb or a hairbrush. There are many different preppy hairstyles. The side bun, straight hair, loose barrel rolls, side braid, the fishtail braid, or a high-fashion ponytail.\\nAdd some finishing touches or hair accessories. Wear barrettes, bows, flower crowns, or headbands. These can help you to look cute and stylish.\\nIf you have short hair, you can do lots of different hairstyles and haircuts that fit you. Make sure haircuts are flattering to your face, and if you wish, use some small hair accessories.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wear a bit of makeup to hide imperfections and highlight your features.\", \"描述\": \"Use primer and a moisturizer. Makeup does not have to be from expensive department stores; if makeup from the drug store works well for you and makes you look good; use it! It's all about making you look your best and making you feel good; makeup is not about brands. Makeup is the epitome of being girly. Try watching some YouTube videos to some new learn techniques for applying makeup.\\nFor foundation, get something with SPF protection from Lancome or Clinique.\\nAlways wear lip balm to prevent your lips from chapping, and then add some lip gloss to add that glossy and shiny look to your lips. If you want to have some colour on your lips and you love shiny lips, try some tinted/coloured lip gloss. Don't overdo it though.\\nYou can also wear a bit of eyeshadow. Some natural colors for school are light brown, gold, dark gold and brown.\\nTry watching YouTube videos to get the makeup basics.\\nAlways wear lip balm to prevent your lips from chapping, and then add some lip gloss to add that glossy and shiny look to your lips. If you want to have some colour on your lips and you love shiny lips, try some tinted/coloured lip gloss. Don't overdo it though.\\nYou can also wear a bit of eyeshadow. Some natural colors for school are light brown, gold, dark gold and brown.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Eat well and take care of your body.\", \"描述\": \"Take up a school sport such as (any type of English riding), rowing, swim, soccer, or whatever else your school offers. Your body doesn’t have to be perfect; being preppy shows more in how you act and treat others around you, but participating in preppy sports never hurts.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Adopt the sports.\", \"描述\": \"Sports like tennis, track, golf, dance, lacrosse, polo, tennis, volleyball, softball, swim, ballet, gymnastics, cheerleading, and track are preppy and girly. Participate in at least two sports. \\nPractice every single living breathing second you can. You need to be an expert to make the team.\\nDevelop a healthy workout and exercise regimen to keep in shape.\\nDon't become overweight, obese, or morbidly obese, as this leads to health problems and problems with playing sports.\\nTry to have a healthy diet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dressing nicely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear cute shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you're comfortable in them, but make sure they're also cute as well.\\nBoots are great. This doesn't mean rain boots, just boots such as ankle-high boots and knee-high boots. Boots look great with a nice skirt.\\nWear ballet flats to look elegant in school. If you want to look elegant while making a bold fashion statement at the same time, try wearing a pair of slippers. Again, they match well with a skirt.\\nAvoid high heels. They hurt your feet and cause knee problems. Kitten heels or shoes with a slight heel are fine though.\\nYou can be creative by making your own pair of shoes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear good-looking, put-together outfits if your school doesn't require you to wear uniforms.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't have to be extravagant - simple outfits can do wonders!\\nWear skirts rather than jeans. You will look - and feel - much more girly, especially if all your friends are in jeans. You can match this with a cute jacket or sweater on top.\\nCasual dresses with a bold belt (studded belt, neon belt etc.) can look really awesome if you put the look together properly.\\nThere are certain stores that cater to the \\\"girly girl\\\" image. Try checking out those stores and seeing what you can find. Be careful, though - they can be expensive!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If you're in a school that requires a uniform, jazz up your uniform.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on how strict your school is, you may be able to get away with some alterations to the uniform. However, make sure you don't do anything that would get you in trouble for messing with the uniform!\\nWear a cute, girly scarf or put a jacket or a sweater on top.\\nDon't make your uniforms look dull and baggy, make it look as lively as possible.\\nIf your school won't let you alter your uniform, just act more girly in general. By doing this, people will see the more girly you! Be polite and kind to others, always listen and get rid of any nasty vocabulary you might have been using.\\nDon't overdo it. People won't like you if you start acting like a snob.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to dress preppy.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing certain brands, styles, and outfit combinations create the preppy look. So, learn the secrets of success in preppy dressing.\\nShirts should be polo shirts, oxford shirts, tunics, dresses, solid colored shirts, and T shirts all either in pastel or bright colors and solid or with a simple pattern like floral, polka dots, or stripes. They should be made of soft material like silk, cotton, or spandex.\\nTry to add blazers in black, white or navy colours to your clothes to give a preppy look. Having them unbuttoned looks best.\\nPants should be skinny jeans, khakis, slacks, Bermuda shorts, proper length skirts, dockers, and dresses in colors like navy blue, khaki, brown, and black. They should be solid colored or skirts with minimal patterns. Also, materials should be denim, corduroy, cotton, or polyester.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be classy and fashionable.\", \"描述\": \"Never wear excessively revealing clothing! Stay away from extreme fads as well!\\nGood brands to buy from are Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Banana Republic, Vineyard Vines, J. Press, Lilly Pulitzer, or any other place that sells good quality clothes.\\nWear a lot of polos, rugby shirts, blouses, cardigans, cable knit sweaters, khakis, bermuda shorts, quality denim,and tea dresses.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Buy from sports brand stores.\", \"描述\": \"What is important is to dress for the occasion--do not let these labels slip into your everyday wear.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Never shop from 'mainstream' clothing stores like Hollister, Abercrombie, and Aeropostale.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing those brands is not preppy, and everyone knows it. You can find cute outfits at thrift stores. No-one knows how many previous owners your clothes have had unless you tell them. If you are low on cash, check out discount stores such as Goodwill and Plato's Closet. They will almost always have designer clothes for a fraction of the cost!\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Buy brands like Coach, Burberry, Dooney and Bourke, Hérmes, Chanel, or Frank Clegg.\", \"描述\": \"Monogrammed bags from L.L Bean are also a plus.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Wear 'preppy' shoes.\", \"描述\": \"Wear conservative ballet flats, top siders, loafers (Penny loafers are recommended.), dock siders, conservative wedges, and nice sandals, to name a few.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Accessorise lightly.\", \"描述\": \"A ponytail with a ribbon tied at the base is very classic. Try family heirlooms, such as your mother's silver bracelet or your grand mother's diamond necklace. A simple charm bracelet (preferably gold in color) or sparkly headband should do the trick. Try to look simplistic, never gaudy. No need for 20 bracelets, necklaces, or piercings. This doesn't have to be limited to what you wear - try decorating your bag or school supplies, too!\\nWear simple jewellery. Always wear a pair of colourful earrings, a cute necklace, and sometimes a bracelet. However, don't go overboard; you don't want to jingle when you walk!\\nPearls, gold, sterling silver, and diamonds scream girly. Faux or legitimate, as long as they look real, you're fine.\\nIf your bag looks boring, decorate it. Put cute badges and key-chains on it or sew different fabric swatches on your bag to add a creative and artsy yet girly flair.\\nIf you have school supplies that belong to you, such as a binder or a notebook, don't be afraid to decorate it! Glue photos to it, put stickers on it, or do whatever you want. However, if you have something that belongs to the school, such as a textbook, don't decorate that. You don't want to get fined for vandalism.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Dazzle up your nails.\", \"描述\": \"French manicures are good because they are sophisticated and simple. You can also go bold with your nails by adding some colorful nail art to your nails or by using a bright or sparkly nail colour.\\nIf you go to a strict school, you may not be allowed to wear nail polish or nail decorations. However, a clear polish won't be noticed and will make your nails look shinier.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being preppy and girly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk gracefully and don't get in trouble very often.\", \"描述\": \"Don't shake your hips too much; many people find that strange or annoying. Don't skip or run around the school. After all, girly girls are also cute, and how is getting in trouble cute, sweet, and innocent?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't be mean and snobby.\", \"描述\": \"Don't act like you're suddenly famous and rich. Be kind. Meet new friends, and just have fun!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do Well in School\", \"描述\": \"If you can't attend a preparatory or grammar school, at least try to take advanced placement (AP) or accelerated courses in almost everything you can. If your school offers electives, choose preparatory vocational training classes (such as culinary, architecture, or agricultural science) rather than an \\\"easy A\\\" class. Taking student council or a physical education class is also good.\\nTry to focus your high school career on getting good grades and participating in clubs, sports, and organizations. It's okay to have fun sometimes, but it's important to realize that school is important. Use your school's resources (pre-ACT/SAT classes, tutoring, library, etc.) and try your best to earn scholarships!\\nTake a foreign language if your school offers it. Many universities require 2-3 years of a foreign language for admission, and you will look very educated. Preps take education very seriously, and can always hold up a conversation about any topic; be very well rounded.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Develop good manners and class.\", \"描述\": \"Good manners are a necessity to being feminine, and it's just good to have them. Feminine girls act properly in all situations. They know how to speak, act, write, eat, and be at all times. And they do it all with poise and grace. Here are some simple things you can do. \\nReal preps are always polite and kind. Preps are never rude, mean, or unpleasant. They are never bullies, and should always be able to make others feel good about themselves.\\nPreps do little to no cursing. They treat adults with respect, and follow their rules. They surround themselves with positive, kind people, much like themselves. They are people you can go to with a problem, and they will help.\\nSaying \\\"Thank you\\\", \\\"Excuse me\\\", \\\"I'm sorry\\\", and \\\"Please\\\" is basic etiquette. Don't blow up when someone does not display manners, simply ignore them and carry on as normally and politely as you can.\\nStand tall, shoulders back and chin up. When you sit, learn to keep your legs together.\\nLove the dictionary and thesaurus! 'Don't type Or write Lykee This' on the internet, you should know how to type, write and speak correctly.\\nLearn table manners. If you don't have time you can search it at Google. For the basic and most common table etiquette, you should keep your elbows off of the table, don't slouch, keep your mouth closed while chewing, don't smack and don't talk with your mouth full.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Begin girly hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"Girly hobbies come across as preppy and girly. \\nExamples of good hobbies relating to fashion: jewelry making, sewing, designing fashions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be polite and friendly to everyone--not just other preps.\", \"描述\": \"It is quite unmannerly to be rude to someone simply for their difference. Don't be confrontational or aggressive, as that will cause people to view you negatively.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Maintain your reputation.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be vulgar or shout when you talk. People view that as being obnoxious, rude and annoying.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be someone who could help someone in their time of need.\\n\", \"Don't only hang out with guys or girls. Try to have both boy and girl friends.\\n\", \"Don't stop being yourself for being popular. People should love your true personality.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not do this if you are not being true to yourself.\\n\", \"People may tease you for being classy.\\n\", \"You may get shunned by your friends.\\n\", \"Never brag about money.\\n\", \"Don't change overnight or people will call you a poser.\\n\", \"If you're trying to be a girly girl to be accepted by a group, think about why you're doing it. Are you doing it for approval, because you want a different scene, or because you want to be popular and liked? Keep in mind that if you're not already somewhat girly, suddenly becoming all-out girly will cause people to think you're faking it.\\n\", \"People might think you are trying to be fake. Be careful. This change could affect your personality, too. Try to be as much like you as possible.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,063 | How to Be Pretty | 1. Caring for Yourself
1-1. Get plenty of sleep
Being well-rested can drastically improve your appearance. Most adults need about eight hours of sleep, but teenagers can require up to ten.
1-2. Drink
Staying fully hydrated will make you look better by clearing up your skin, improving the health of your hair and nails, and keeping your body healthy. If you mostly drink soda, coffee, or juice, try replacing some of them with water until you are drinking at least 8 cups (1,900 ml) daily.
Alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, and drugs are especially bad for your appearance and health.
1-3. Bathe every day
Be sure you shower every day and clean yourself thoroughly with soap and water. How often you wash your hair will depend on your hair type, but you should at least clean your body daily.
1-4. Use moisturizer
You should use a moisturizer on your face and body every day, even if you have oily skin--moisturizer will stop your skin from producing its own oils. You can use any kind, but check the label first to see if it’s the best kind for your skin type.
1-5. Keep your nails clean and trimmed.
You don’t have to put on a new shade of nail polish every day, but your nails should be clean and manicured all the time. Clip and file your nails so they are even and clean under them daily. If you wear polish, check for chips every day and fix them if you have polish on hand. Biting your nails is the best way to break them and make them weaker. Refrain for biting them at all costs. Dip your hands in lemon or rub lemon on your nails and fingertips so if you feel the urge to bite them you will taste lemons.
1-6. Make sure your hair is clean and styled every day.
Keep your hair brushed and styled every single day. Make sure your hair doesn't have any knots or tangles, and that it is neat and clean. If your hair gets flat and oily by the end of the day, try to wash it every day; otherwise, every other day is fine.
1-7. Wear deodorant or perfume.
Smelling nice is an essential part of being pretty! Be sure you use deodorant every single day. You can also wear perfume--many people have a signature scent they wear every day. If you don’t wear much perfume, try a light floral or fruit scent first. But always be careful to not wear too much.
Don’t use deodorant or perfume as a substitute for bathing. People can tell.
Use as little perfume as possible, and only use it on pulse points like your wrists and neck. Your perfume should be a subtle fragrance that people only notice when they’re next to you, not a strong smell that hangs in the air around you.
1-8. Brush and floss your teeth twice a day.
Pretty people keep their teeth as clean as possible. Brush and floss at least twice a day, and be sure to use mouthwash or mints to keep your breath smelling fresh. Carry floss with you, and use it after every meal or snack.
It’s okay if your teeth are crooked or if you wear braces. Just make sure they’re clean and white.
1-9. Improve your posture
It’s hard to imagine a pretty person slouching! Practice sitting with your back straight against a chair and walking with your chin parallel to the ground. It will make you look more confident and attractive!
1-10. Wear light makeup.
If you aren’t happy with your looks, try wearing a little bit of makeup. Light makeup will help you accentuate your best features, and it’s much easier to learn to apply than a full face of makeup. Keep practicing until your makeup looks natural and is easy for you to apply.
1-11. Keep your clothes clean and pressed.
Wearing clothes that are wrinkled or stained can make you look messy, unattractive, or even dirty. Iron your clothes before wearing them and be sure they’re clean when you put them on.
Read the instructions on your clothing labels. Some clothes can’t be ironed or can only be ironed on a low setting.
If you don’t want to iron, try hanging clothes up immediately after you dry them, or letting them run in a dryer on the permanent press cycle.
1-12. Wear clothes that fit properly.
You don’t have to wear the latest trends to be pretty. A great shortcut is to make sure all your clothes fit you properly. Don’t wear clothes that are too tight or too baggy. None of your clothes should be so tight that they pinch you, show your underwear, or are hard to put on and take off. They also shouldn't hang loosely off your shoulders or hips, or need to be adjusted as you go about your day.
1-13. Consider getting a makeover.
If you still feel hopeless about your looks, you might just need a little outside perspective. Call your local makeup store, hair salon, or beauty counter and schedule a makeover. They’ll be able to teach you tricks and techniques you hadn’t considered before, and you’ll go home looking great!
If you can’t afford a professional makeover, ask a friend or relative who’s into makeup and beauty to help you.
Don’t feel intimidated about going into a makeup shop or hair salon. They've seen everything and they’re here to help you.
2. Improving Your Confidence
2-1. Say something positive about yourself every day.
A great way to improve your confidence and begin to feel pretty is to take a little bit of time every day to say something positive about yourself. You can set an alarm for the same time to remind you, or even just practice saying something positive every time you think something negative about yourself.
Try saying something like “My eye color is beautiful” or “I did a great job putting together this outfit today” or “I did great on that algebra test.”
2-2. Learn to accept compliments.
If you ignore or shut down other people’s compliments, they’ll think you don’t want to hear anything good about yourself. When somebody says something good about you, resist the urge to say something like “No, you’re wrong.” Instead, say “Thank you! That really means a lot to me.”
2-3. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
You are a unique individual, and nobody has the same life and the same circumstances as you. Don’t worry too much about what other people are doing or what they have that you don’t. If you start to compare yourself to others, tell yourself that you’re a different person and you have your own set of positive qualities.
2-4. Try something new every day.
A great way to build confidence is to branch out and try new things every chance you get. It doesn’t have to be anything huge--it can be as easy as wearing a new hat or taking a different route to school. Make a goal to try something new every single day.
If you usually wear dark or neutral-colored clothes, try wearing a bright blue top one day.
Join a new club at school.
Order something different at your favorite restaurant.
2-5. Take more selfies.
Selfies are a great way to boost your confidence. Spend some time snapping a few dozen photos of yourself. Look through them and pick out the one you like the best. You don’t have to post it, but you can still decorate it with a filter or sticker.
It’s totally normal to hate some of your selfies! Even supermodels have outtakes they don’t want anyone to see.
2-6. Act confident even if you don’t feel it.
It’s normal for it to take awhile to start feeling confident. If you’re trying to improve your confidence but aren't feeling it yet, try faking confidence! It sounds silly, but if you act confident all the time, you’ll soon find that you really are confident.
3. Showing Inner Beauty
3-1. Smile and make eye contact throughout your day.
Lots of people who aren't necessarily great-looking have an inner beauty that radiates and attracts others. Practice your inner beauty by smiling and making eye contact with the people you encounter every day. It doesn't matter if you know them or not--everyone likes a smile!
Many people interpret smiling and making eye contact as an invitation to chat. If you’re in a hurry or don’t want to talk, be sure to make the eye contact last for only a second.
3-2. Be friendly and polite towards everyone.
Be nice to everyone you meet. Introduce yourself if you don’t know them, and address them by name. Ask how they’re doing and take an active interest in their lives.
This doesn’t mean that you should let people treat you badly--if you have to tell someone to stop or to leave you alone, do so clearly and firmly.
3-3. Show your loved ones how you feel about them.
If you care about someone, let them know how you feel. You can simply say “I care about you” or “I love you”, but it doesn't have to be direct. You can also show them how you feel by paying attention to them, listening to any problems they have, and making time for them.
Tell your parents that you appreciate all they do for you.
Text your best friend a note saying she's awesome and the best friend ever.
3-4. Offer to help others as often as you can.
People are more likely to find a helpful person attractive and enjoyable to be around. If you are in a situation where you can help someone, do it! Offer to open doors, carry boxes, or help someone with their homework.
Don’t go overboard. You shouldn't offer to help do something if you aren't fully up to the job. Offering to help too often can lead to burnout and being taken advantage of.
3-5. Tell other people they’re pretty.
Pretty people don’t just sit back and reflect on how pretty they are. They look for beauty in other people too! Look at the people you care about and the people you interact with, and find something nice to say about everyone’s appearance. Once you get into the habit of looking for beauty in others, you’ll be able to see it in yourself too.
You don’t have to walk up to people and announce “You’re pretty.” Try saying something like “I like your haircut” or “You look nice today.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Caring for Yourself\\n1-1. Get plenty of sleep\\nBeing well-rested can drastically improve your appearance. Most adults need about eight hours of sleep, but teenagers can require up to ten.\\n1-2. Drink\\nStaying fully hydrated will make you look better by clearing up your skin, improving the health of your hair and nails, and keeping your body healthy. If you mostly drink soda, coffee, or juice, try replacing some of them with water until you are drinking at least 8 cups (1,900 ml) daily.\\nAlcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, and drugs are especially bad for your appearance and health.\\n1-3. Bathe every day\\nBe sure you shower every day and clean yourself thoroughly with soap and water. How often you wash your hair will depend on your hair type, but you should at least clean your body daily.\\n1-4. Use moisturizer\\nYou should use a moisturizer on your face and body every day, even if you have oily skin--moisturizer will stop your skin from producing its own oils. You can use any kind, but check the label first to see if it’s the best kind for your skin type.\\n1-5. Keep your nails clean and trimmed.\\nYou don’t have to put on a new shade of nail polish every day, but your nails should be clean and manicured all the time. Clip and file your nails so they are even and clean under them daily. If you wear polish, check for chips every day and fix them if you have polish on hand. Biting your nails is the best way to break them and make them weaker. Refrain for biting them at all costs. Dip your hands in lemon or rub lemon on your nails and fingertips so if you feel the urge to bite them you will taste lemons.\\n1-6. Make sure your hair is clean and styled every day.\\nKeep your hair brushed and styled every single day. Make sure your hair doesn't have any knots or tangles, and that it is neat and clean. If your hair gets flat and oily by the end of the day, try to wash it every day; otherwise, every other day is fine.\\n1-7. Wear deodorant or perfume.\\nSmelling nice is an essential part of being pretty! Be sure you use deodorant every single day. You can also wear perfume--many people have a signature scent they wear every day. If you don’t wear much perfume, try a light floral or fruit scent first. But always be careful to not wear too much. \\nDon’t use deodorant or perfume as a substitute for bathing. People can tell.\\nUse as little perfume as possible, and only use it on pulse points like your wrists and neck. Your perfume should be a subtle fragrance that people only notice when they’re next to you, not a strong smell that hangs in the air around you.\\n1-8. Brush and floss your teeth twice a day.\\nPretty people keep their teeth as clean as possible. Brush and floss at least twice a day, and be sure to use mouthwash or mints to keep your breath smelling fresh. Carry floss with you, and use it after every meal or snack.\\nIt’s okay if your teeth are crooked or if you wear braces. Just make sure they’re clean and white.\\n1-9. Improve your posture\\nIt’s hard to imagine a pretty person slouching! Practice sitting with your back straight against a chair and walking with your chin parallel to the ground. It will make you look more confident and attractive!\\n1-10. Wear light makeup.\\nIf you aren’t happy with your looks, try wearing a little bit of makeup. Light makeup will help you accentuate your best features, and it’s much easier to learn to apply than a full face of makeup. Keep practicing until your makeup looks natural and is easy for you to apply.\\n1-11. Keep your clothes clean and pressed.\\nWearing clothes that are wrinkled or stained can make you look messy, unattractive, or even dirty. Iron your clothes before wearing them and be sure they’re clean when you put them on.\\nRead the instructions on your clothing labels. Some clothes can’t be ironed or can only be ironed on a low setting.\\nIf you don’t want to iron, try hanging clothes up immediately after you dry them, or letting them run in a dryer on the permanent press cycle.\\n1-12. Wear clothes that fit properly.\\nYou don’t have to wear the latest trends to be pretty. A great shortcut is to make sure all your clothes fit you properly. Don’t wear clothes that are too tight or too baggy. None of your clothes should be so tight that they pinch you, show your underwear, or are hard to put on and take off. They also shouldn't hang loosely off your shoulders or hips, or need to be adjusted as you go about your day.\\n1-13. Consider getting a makeover.\\nIf you still feel hopeless about your looks, you might just need a little outside perspective. Call your local makeup store, hair salon, or beauty counter and schedule a makeover. They’ll be able to teach you tricks and techniques you hadn’t considered before, and you’ll go home looking great!\\nIf you can’t afford a professional makeover, ask a friend or relative who’s into makeup and beauty to help you.\\nDon’t feel intimidated about going into a makeup shop or hair salon. They've seen everything and they’re here to help you.\\n2. Improving Your Confidence\\n2-1. Say something positive about yourself every day.\\nA great way to improve your confidence and begin to feel pretty is to take a little bit of time every day to say something positive about yourself. You can set an alarm for the same time to remind you, or even just practice saying something positive every time you think something negative about yourself.\\nTry saying something like “My eye color is beautiful” or “I did a great job putting together this outfit today” or “I did great on that algebra test.”\\n2-2. Learn to accept compliments.\\nIf you ignore or shut down other people’s compliments, they’ll think you don’t want to hear anything good about yourself. When somebody says something good about you, resist the urge to say something like “No, you’re wrong.” Instead, say “Thank you! That really means a lot to me.”\\n2-3. Avoid comparing yourself to others.\\nYou are a unique individual, and nobody has the same life and the same circumstances as you. Don’t worry too much about what other people are doing or what they have that you don’t. If you start to compare yourself to others, tell yourself that you’re a different person and you have your own set of positive qualities.\\n2-4. Try something new every day.\\nA great way to build confidence is to branch out and try new things every chance you get. It doesn’t have to be anything huge--it can be as easy as wearing a new hat or taking a different route to school. Make a goal to try something new every single day.\\nIf you usually wear dark or neutral-colored clothes, try wearing a bright blue top one day.\\nJoin a new club at school.\\nOrder something different at your favorite restaurant.\\n2-5. Take more selfies.\\nSelfies are a great way to boost your confidence. Spend some time snapping a few dozen photos of yourself. Look through them and pick out the one you like the best. You don’t have to post it, but you can still decorate it with a filter or sticker.\\nIt’s totally normal to hate some of your selfies! Even supermodels have outtakes they don’t want anyone to see.\\n2-6. Act confident even if you don’t feel it.\\nIt’s normal for it to take awhile to start feeling confident. If you’re trying to improve your confidence but aren't feeling it yet, try faking confidence! It sounds silly, but if you act confident all the time, you’ll soon find that you really are confident.\\n3. Showing Inner Beauty\\n3-1. Smile and make eye contact throughout your day.\\nLots of people who aren't necessarily great-looking have an inner beauty that radiates and attracts others. Practice your inner beauty by smiling and making eye contact with the people you encounter every day. It doesn't matter if you know them or not--everyone likes a smile!\\nMany people interpret smiling and making eye contact as an invitation to chat. If you’re in a hurry or don’t want to talk, be sure to make the eye contact last for only a second.\\n3-2. Be friendly and polite towards everyone.\\nBe nice to everyone you meet. Introduce yourself if you don’t know them, and address them by name. Ask how they’re doing and take an active interest in their lives.\\nThis doesn’t mean that you should let people treat you badly--if you have to tell someone to stop or to leave you alone, do so clearly and firmly.\\n3-3. Show your loved ones how you feel about them.\\nIf you care about someone, let them know how you feel. You can simply say “I care about you” or “I love you”, but it doesn't have to be direct. You can also show them how you feel by paying attention to them, listening to any problems they have, and making time for them.\\nTell your parents that you appreciate all they do for you.\\nText your best friend a note saying she's awesome and the best friend ever.\\n3-4. Offer to help others as often as you can.\\nPeople are more likely to find a helpful person attractive and enjoyable to be around. If you are in a situation where you can help someone, do it! Offer to open doors, carry boxes, or help someone with their homework.\\nDon’t go overboard. You shouldn't offer to help do something if you aren't fully up to the job. Offering to help too often can lead to burnout and being taken advantage of.\\n3-5. Tell other people they’re pretty.\\nPretty people don’t just sit back and reflect on how pretty they are. They look for beauty in other people too! Look at the people you care about and the people you interact with, and find something nice to say about everyone’s appearance. Once you get into the habit of looking for beauty in others, you’ll be able to see it in yourself too.\\nYou don’t have to walk up to people and announce “You’re pretty.” Try saying something like “I like your haircut” or “You look nice today.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being pretty is a goal for many people--it’s a great way to improve your self esteem and self confidence! Everybody is beautiful, and it’s important to remember that it’s not just what’s on the outside that makes you pretty. The way you treat other people goes a long way in how they see you. Learn how to treat people the way they want to be treated while improving your confidence and looks, and soon everyone will think you’re pretty! You don't have to wear makeup to be beautiful you are beautiful at heart!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Caring for Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get plenty of sleep\", \"描述\": \"Being well-rested can drastically improve your appearance. Most adults need about eight hours of sleep, but teenagers can require up to ten.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Drink\", \"描述\": \"Staying fully hydrated will make you look better by clearing up your skin, improving the health of your hair and nails, and keeping your body healthy. If you mostly drink soda, coffee, or juice, try replacing some of them with water until you are drinking at least 8 cups (1,900 ml) daily.\\nAlcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, and drugs are especially bad for your appearance and health.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bathe every day\", \"描述\": \"Be sure you shower every day and clean yourself thoroughly with soap and water. How often you wash your hair will depend on your hair type, but you should at least clean your body daily.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use moisturizer\", \"描述\": \"You should use a moisturizer on your face and body every day, even if you have oily skin--moisturizer will stop your skin from producing its own oils. You can use any kind, but check the label first to see if it’s the best kind for your skin type.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your nails clean and trimmed.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to put on a new shade of nail polish every day, but your nails should be clean and manicured all the time. Clip and file your nails so they are even and clean under them daily. If you wear polish, check for chips every day and fix them if you have polish on hand. Biting your nails is the best way to break them and make them weaker. Refrain for biting them at all costs. Dip your hands in lemon or rub lemon on your nails and fingertips so if you feel the urge to bite them you will taste lemons.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make sure your hair is clean and styled every day.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your hair brushed and styled every single day. Make sure your hair doesn't have any knots or tangles, and that it is neat and clean. If your hair gets flat and oily by the end of the day, try to wash it every day; otherwise, every other day is fine.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wear deodorant or perfume.\", \"描述\": \"Smelling nice is an essential part of being pretty! Be sure you use deodorant every single day. You can also wear perfume--many people have a signature scent they wear every day. If you don’t wear much perfume, try a light floral or fruit scent first. But always be careful to not wear too much. \\nDon’t use deodorant or perfume as a substitute for bathing. People can tell.\\nUse as little perfume as possible, and only use it on pulse points like your wrists and neck. Your perfume should be a subtle fragrance that people only notice when they’re next to you, not a strong smell that hangs in the air around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Brush and floss your teeth twice a day.\", \"描述\": \"Pretty people keep their teeth as clean as possible. Brush and floss at least twice a day, and be sure to use mouthwash or mints to keep your breath smelling fresh. Carry floss with you, and use it after every meal or snack.\\nIt’s okay if your teeth are crooked or if you wear braces. Just make sure they’re clean and white.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Improve your posture\", \"描述\": \"It’s hard to imagine a pretty person slouching! Practice sitting with your back straight against a chair and walking with your chin parallel to the ground. It will make you look more confident and attractive!\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Wear light makeup.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t happy with your looks, try wearing a little bit of makeup. Light makeup will help you accentuate your best features, and it’s much easier to learn to apply than a full face of makeup. Keep practicing until your makeup looks natural and is easy for you to apply.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Keep your clothes clean and pressed.\", \"描述\": \"Wearing clothes that are wrinkled or stained can make you look messy, unattractive, or even dirty. Iron your clothes before wearing them and be sure they’re clean when you put them on.\\nRead the instructions on your clothing labels. Some clothes can’t be ironed or can only be ironed on a low setting.\\nIf you don’t want to iron, try hanging clothes up immediately after you dry them, or letting them run in a dryer on the permanent press cycle.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that fit properly.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to wear the latest trends to be pretty. A great shortcut is to make sure all your clothes fit you properly. Don’t wear clothes that are too tight or too baggy. None of your clothes should be so tight that they pinch you, show your underwear, or are hard to put on and take off. They also shouldn't hang loosely off your shoulders or hips, or need to be adjusted as you go about your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Consider getting a makeover.\", \"描述\": \"If you still feel hopeless about your looks, you might just need a little outside perspective. Call your local makeup store, hair salon, or beauty counter and schedule a makeover. They’ll be able to teach you tricks and techniques you hadn’t considered before, and you’ll go home looking great!\\nIf you can’t afford a professional makeover, ask a friend or relative who’s into makeup and beauty to help you.\\nDon’t feel intimidated about going into a makeup shop or hair salon. They've seen everything and they’re here to help you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say something positive about yourself every day.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to improve your confidence and begin to feel pretty is to take a little bit of time every day to say something positive about yourself. You can set an alarm for the same time to remind you, or even just practice saying something positive every time you think something negative about yourself.\\nTry saying something like “My eye color is beautiful” or “I did a great job putting together this outfit today” or “I did great on that algebra test.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learn to accept compliments.\", \"描述\": \"If you ignore or shut down other people’s compliments, they’ll think you don’t want to hear anything good about yourself. When somebody says something good about you, resist the urge to say something like “No, you’re wrong.” Instead, say “Thank you! That really means a lot to me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparing yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"You are a unique individual, and nobody has the same life and the same circumstances as you. Don’t worry too much about what other people are doing or what they have that you don’t. If you start to compare yourself to others, tell yourself that you’re a different person and you have your own set of positive qualities.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try something new every day.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to build confidence is to branch out and try new things every chance you get. It doesn’t have to be anything huge--it can be as easy as wearing a new hat or taking a different route to school. Make a goal to try something new every single day.\\nIf you usually wear dark or neutral-colored clothes, try wearing a bright blue top one day.\\nJoin a new club at school.\\nOrder something different at your favorite restaurant.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take more selfies.\", \"描述\": \"Selfies are a great way to boost your confidence. Spend some time snapping a few dozen photos of yourself. Look through them and pick out the one you like the best. You don’t have to post it, but you can still decorate it with a filter or sticker.\\nIt’s totally normal to hate some of your selfies! Even supermodels have outtakes they don’t want anyone to see.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Act confident even if you don’t feel it.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal for it to take awhile to start feeling confident. If you’re trying to improve your confidence but aren't feeling it yet, try faking confidence! It sounds silly, but if you act confident all the time, you’ll soon find that you really are confident.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Showing Inner Beauty\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and make eye contact throughout your day.\", \"描述\": \"Lots of people who aren't necessarily great-looking have an inner beauty that radiates and attracts others. Practice your inner beauty by smiling and making eye contact with the people you encounter every day. It doesn't matter if you know them or not--everyone likes a smile!\\nMany people interpret smiling and making eye contact as an invitation to chat. If you’re in a hurry or don’t want to talk, be sure to make the eye contact last for only a second.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be friendly and polite towards everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Be nice to everyone you meet. Introduce yourself if you don’t know them, and address them by name. Ask how they’re doing and take an active interest in their lives.\\nThis doesn’t mean that you should let people treat you badly--if you have to tell someone to stop or to leave you alone, do so clearly and firmly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your loved ones how you feel about them.\", \"描述\": \"If you care about someone, let them know how you feel. You can simply say “I care about you” or “I love you”, but it doesn't have to be direct. You can also show them how you feel by paying attention to them, listening to any problems they have, and making time for them.\\nTell your parents that you appreciate all they do for you.\\nText your best friend a note saying she's awesome and the best friend ever.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer to help others as often as you can.\", \"描述\": \"People are more likely to find a helpful person attractive and enjoyable to be around. If you are in a situation where you can help someone, do it! Offer to open doors, carry boxes, or help someone with their homework.\\nDon’t go overboard. You shouldn't offer to help do something if you aren't fully up to the job. Offering to help too often can lead to burnout and being taken advantage of.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell other people they’re pretty.\", \"描述\": \"Pretty people don’t just sit back and reflect on how pretty they are. They look for beauty in other people too! Look at the people you care about and the people you interact with, and find something nice to say about everyone’s appearance. Once you get into the habit of looking for beauty in others, you’ll be able to see it in yourself too.\\nYou don’t have to walk up to people and announce “You’re pretty.” Try saying something like “I like your haircut” or “You look nice today.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,064 | How to Become More Attractive and Feel Good about Yourself | 1. Practicing Good Grooming Habits
1-1. Shower or bathe every day with mild soap.
To ensure you smell fresh and have healthy-looking skin, wash up with mild soap once a day, or more often if you do any vigorous exercise. Using soap that contains harsh detergents or strong scents can leave your skin dry and dull-looking.
Consider wearing deodorant and/or antiperspirant every day to smell fresh and clean. You can also wear a light spritzing of perfume or body spray if you’d like, but remember to go easy so it doesn’t smell too overwhelming.
Some people like to remove their body hair, while others don’t. Do whatever works for you and makes you feel more confident! If you're concerned about visible body hair, try shaving your armpits and legs before you wear clothing that exposes those areas.
1-2. Wash your face with a gentle cleanser and apply moisturizer twice a day.
Every morning when you wake up and at night before you go to bed, wash your face to remove acne-causing dirt and oil from your skin. Gently pat your face dry with a soft cloth, then apply a thin layer of a lightweight facial moisturizer to keep your skin looking hydrated and vibrant.
Be sure to use a cleanser that’s specifically made for use on the face. The skin there is more sensitive than the skin on your body, so regular body soap can be too harsh.
Choose a cleanser and moisturizer that are formulated for your skin type. For instance, if you have oily skin, you might use a foaming cleanser and a lightweight, oil-free moisturizer. If you have dry skin, you might use a hydrating gel cleaner and a rich cream moisturizer.
1-3. Exfoliate your skin every 1-2 weeks to remove dead skin cells.
If your skin looks dull, you may need to exfoliate to get rid of any dead skin on the surface. Wet a washcloth and gently rub it over your forehead, cheeks, and chin in a circular motion. You can also exfoliate the skin on your body, especially on your elbows, knees, and feet.
You can purchase a variety of exfoliating scrubs and brushes at your local drugstore or beauty supply store. You can even make your own sugar scrub by mixing olive oil, honey, and sugar.
Your lips will also benefit from a good scrub routine. Use a homemade sugar scrub or buy lip sugar scrub.
1-4. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss daily.
Your smile makes a big impression on people when you first meet them, so be sure to keep up with your daily oral hygiene. Brush your teeth with toothpaste at least twice a day for 2 minutes, and floss every evening before bed. In addition, see a dentist for a professional cleaning and checkup every 6 months or so.
If your teeth are yellow, ask your dentist whether they recommend a whitening toothpaste or at-home whitening strips. You can also talk to your dentist about in-office whitening options.
Tip: instead of chugging your iced coffee, black tea, or soda, slurp it through a straw! This will help reduce the amount of dark and/or sugary liquid hitting your front teeth, which will keep them from staining as easily.
1-5. Keep your hair clean and style it to suit your taste.
Find a haircut and style that suits your face shape, your personal taste, and the texture of your hair. Just taking a few minutes to style your hair at the beginning of each day can really boost your confidence. If necessary, use products like leave-in conditioner, hairspray, salt spray, or mousse to help you manage your hair's texture, but look for products that are labeled as "greaseless" or "oil-free" so they don't make your hair look dirty.
If your hair is short, you might wear it spiked up or neatly combed behind your ears, for instance. If it's long, you might wear it in a ponytail, French braid it, or leave it down.
You don't have to wash your hair every day unless it's very oily. If your hair is dry, try washing it every 2-3 days instead. You can use a little dry shampoo if your hair does start to look oily between washes, however.
Don't be rough on your hair when you’re brushing it. Start brushing from the tips and work your way up.
1-6. Keep your nails neat and clean.
When you wash your hands or take a shower, use your hands or a nail brush to clean under your fingernails. Keep your nails trimmed to the same length, and avoid biting them, picking at your cuticles, or pulling off hangnails.
If you’d like, you can paint your fingernails. Try a neutral shade for a subtle look, or wear your favorite color if you want to be bold!
If your nails are brittle or weak, try applying a coat of nail strengthener about once a week.
1-7. Shape your eyebrows
If your eyebrows are unruly, comb them, then use a brow gel to smooth them down. If you’d like your eyebrows to be fuller, fill them in with a pencil or powder. However, if you’d like your brows to be less bushy, carefully pluck them, or visit a salon for professional shaping, like a waxing or threading service. Then, as your eyebrows grow in, you can trim, pluck, or wax the stray hairs to maintain their shape.
If you have other facial hair that bothers you, such as hairs above your top lip or stray hairs on your chin, tweeze or wax them to get rid of them. If it’s a lot of hair, you can also use a special bleaching kit designed specifically for facial hair. Keep in mind that shaving the hair on your face will make it look more obvious when it grows in.
Be sure to only use products specifically designed for use on the face, and read and follow any directions on the product label carefully.
1-8. Apply makeup that complements your features, if you wear any.
You don’t have to wear makeup to be pretty, as just maintaining good hygiene and personal grooming habits can go a long way to making you look and feel great. But a little bit of makeup can help you accentuate your best features while improving features you don’t like as much.
Apply a bronzer that’s about 2 shades darker than your natural color to areas you want to hide. Apply a light-colored concealer or highlighter to areas you want to draw attention to, like the tops of your cheeks or the V above your lips.
Draw slightly outside the lines with lip liner to make your lips look bigger, or cover your lips with concealer before you apply lipstick if you want them to look smaller.
Wear light eyeshadow and apply a small amount of eyeliner to the outside of your eyes to make your eyes look bigger. Opt for dark eyeshadow and thick eyeliner if you want to make them look smaller.
1-9. Wear clean clothing that fits well and is comfortable.
No matter what size you are or what type of body you have, wearing clothing that fits will help you look and feel more confident and attractive. Opt for clothes that skim over your figure without being too tight or too baggy, and wear things that make you feel good about yourself.
You don’t have to be a fashionista to dress well. Certain clothes never go out of style, like blue jeans, basic tees, button-down shirts, or the classic little black dress.
Always wear clean clothes that are free of wrinkles. Dirty clothes might have an odor left by sweat and old skin cells.
1-10. Choose accessories that complement your outfit, if you want.
When you finish getting dressed each day, try to find an accessory that you can add, like a pretty necklace, bracelet, or handbag. This simple touch can help you look more stylish and add a bit of pizzazz to your outfit.
Hair accessories, like a headband, barrette, or hair bow, typically add a pretty touch to an outfit.
If you wear glasses, look for a pair that suits your face shape. For instance, you might balance a round face with square frames, or a square face with round frames, while cat-eye frames might work best if you have a triangular face. If you have a heart-shaped face, show it off with rimless frames.
2. Taking Care of Your Body
2-1. Exercise
A few times a week, make an effort to get out and go for a walk, jog, or swim, or make a visit to the gym. You can also get involved in a sport or a hobby you like. As long as you keep your body healthy and strong, you’re always going to look your best.
If it’s hard for you to leave home to exercise, play upbeat songs and dance around your living room or bedroom for a few minutes every day!
Exercising with a buddy can make it more enjoyable and make you more likely to stick with it!
Exercise can change how your body looks, but it can also boost your confidence—which will make you seem more attractive.
2-2. Eat a low-fat, nutrient-rich diet to help you look and feel great.
If you’re not eating healthy and getting the right nutrients, your skin might look dull and pale and you may have dark circles under your eyes. To ensure you’re getting everything you need from your diet, avoid processed sugars, eats lots of fruits and vegetables, opt for whole grains, and enjoy lean proteins like chicken, turkey, fish, tofu, and lentils.
For healthy, glowing skin, choose foods that are rich in antioxidants, like carrots, spinach, tomatoes, berries, peas, beans, salmon, and nuts.
2-3. Maintain good posture
Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your head high. Whenever you catch yourself slouching or looking at the ground, remind yourself to stand up straight and look people in the eye. Having good posture helps you project confidence, which will make you look more attractive. In addition, having good posture can help you feel more alert and energized.
When you're sitting up, like when you’re at your desk at school or at the dinner table, sit straight in your chair with your shoulders back and your lower back slightly curved in. This is a natural position for your spine. Use lumbar pillows or cushions to help you maintain this position when you're relaxing, as well.
2-4. Try relaxation techniques to cope with stress.
Stress can make you look tired and worried, but learning healthy techniques can help you manage stress as it arises. When you’re dealing with a difficult situation, you might try deep breathing, yoga, or meditation to center yourself, for instance. It may also help to vent to a close friend, family member, or therapist.
If you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, you may have too many responsibilities on your plate. Ask your family and friends for help, and practice saying no when someone asks you to do something that will cause you to be stretched too thin.
2-5. Wear sunscreen and protective clothing when you go outside.
Over time, damage from the sun’s rays can cause your skin to become dry and dull, and it can even lead to wrinkles. Any time you go outside, cover all of your exposed skin with a broad-spectrum sunscreen that’s at least SPF 30.
You can also help protect your skin by wearing loose clothing, hats, and sunglasses. Très chic!
Remember, you’re still exposed to the sun’s rays on a cloudy day, so don’t skip sunscreen just because it’s overcast.
2-6. Drink plenty of water each day to stay hydrated.
Staying hydrated will help keep your skin looking healthy and vibrant. Your exact hydration needs will vary depending on your age, size, and activity level. However, it’s generally advised to drink about 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) of water every day if you’re a woman, or about 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) if you’re a man.
Try carrying a refillable water bottle with you to help you remember to drink water wherever you go.
If you’re concerned there won’t be clean water where you’re going, bring along a water bottle that contains a filter.
2-7. Get plenty of sleep every night.
A good night’s rest will help you look refreshed each day. In addition, you’ll be in a better mood, which can also help you seem more attractive. Try to go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time every morning, since sticking to a regular schedule can help you sleep better. Also, make sure it’s dark, quiet, and cool in your room when you go to bed each night.
If you're 6–13 years old, you need about 9–11 hours of sleep. Folks between 13 and 18 need about 8–10 hours, and if you’re over 18, you need 7–9 hours.
Try to avoid using your phone or any other screens an hour before bedtime, as this can negatively impact your sleep.
3. Cultivating Beauty from the Inside
3-1. Avoid comparing yourself to others
It can be really hard, but don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of believing you need to look like a TV star or model in order to be pretty. Instead, appreciate the natural beauty you can see in yourself and others.
By paying attention to the things you find attractive about others, it may be easier for you to find things you like about yourself, as well.
Remember, the images you see in the media are often shot after a lot of work with a hair and makeup artist, wardrobe person, and a lighting specialist, and they’re often shot from specific flattering angles.
The image might even be edited to remove any “flaws” on the model. If you hold yourself up to this standard, it will be nearly impossible to feel good about yourself.
3-2. Challenge negative thoughts
If your opinion about how you look is affecting your self-esteem, you might struggle with negative thinking. It can be really hard, but when you're thinking bad things about yourself, try to switch to a positive, factual thought instead. For instance, you might focus on a few of your best qualities, or you could look for a solution if you're concerned about a problem that you can change.
For instance, instead of thinking, "I don't look like a model, so no one will ever love me," you might tell yourself, "I'm really funny and I'm a great friend, and people really like being around me."
If you find yourself thinking something like, "I hate my hair," try to think of something constructive, like, "I need to figure out the haircut that will work best for my hair's texture. Maybe I can try growing it out for a while, and in the meantime, I'll save up for a trip to a nice salon."
3-3. Be kind to the people you meet.
In order to let your inner beauty to shine through, treat others with compassion and love. Look for the good in them, and celebrate it. Give genuine compliments to your family and friends, and be a supportive listener when someone is going through a hard time.
If you’re beautiful on the inside, you’re going to seem more attractive on the outside.
3-4. Smile when you’re around others.
Not only will smiling make you seem more attractive, but it might even make you feel happier. People almost always look prettier when they’re happy, so this is an easy way to brighten up your look any time.
Studies also show that smiling can “trick” your brain into making you feel happier! So if you’re in a rotten mood, try smiling—even if only to yourself in the mirror.
3-5. Prioritize relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Don’t waste your time around people who put you down or say negative things about your appearance. Instead, make an effort to reach out and spend time with people who make you feel good. Then, you’ll be too busy having a good time with them to worry about what anyone else thinks, anyway!
If you can’t avoid being around someone who says unkind things, like a family member or a coworker, practice standing up for yourself, instead. For instance, if someone calls you unattractive, you might say, “Stop saying that. It’s rude and it makes me uncomfortable.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:38",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing Good Grooming Habits\\n1-1. Shower or bathe every day with mild soap.\\nTo ensure you smell fresh and have healthy-looking skin, wash up with mild soap once a day, or more often if you do any vigorous exercise. Using soap that contains harsh detergents or strong scents can leave your skin dry and dull-looking.\\nConsider wearing deodorant and/or antiperspirant every day to smell fresh and clean. You can also wear a light spritzing of perfume or body spray if you’d like, but remember to go easy so it doesn’t smell too overwhelming.\\nSome people like to remove their body hair, while others don’t. Do whatever works for you and makes you feel more confident! If you're concerned about visible body hair, try shaving your armpits and legs before you wear clothing that exposes those areas.\\n1-2. Wash your face with a gentle cleanser and apply moisturizer twice a day.\\nEvery morning when you wake up and at night before you go to bed, wash your face to remove acne-causing dirt and oil from your skin. Gently pat your face dry with a soft cloth, then apply a thin layer of a lightweight facial moisturizer to keep your skin looking hydrated and vibrant.\\nBe sure to use a cleanser that’s specifically made for use on the face. The skin there is more sensitive than the skin on your body, so regular body soap can be too harsh.\\nChoose a cleanser and moisturizer that are formulated for your skin type. For instance, if you have oily skin, you might use a foaming cleanser and a lightweight, oil-free moisturizer. If you have dry skin, you might use a hydrating gel cleaner and a rich cream moisturizer.\\n1-3. Exfoliate your skin every 1-2 weeks to remove dead skin cells.\\nIf your skin looks dull, you may need to exfoliate to get rid of any dead skin on the surface. Wet a washcloth and gently rub it over your forehead, cheeks, and chin in a circular motion. You can also exfoliate the skin on your body, especially on your elbows, knees, and feet.\\nYou can purchase a variety of exfoliating scrubs and brushes at your local drugstore or beauty supply store. You can even make your own sugar scrub by mixing olive oil, honey, and sugar.\\nYour lips will also benefit from a good scrub routine. Use a homemade sugar scrub or buy lip sugar scrub.\\n1-4. Brush your teeth twice a day and floss daily.\\nYour smile makes a big impression on people when you first meet them, so be sure to keep up with your daily oral hygiene. Brush your teeth with toothpaste at least twice a day for 2 minutes, and floss every evening before bed. In addition, see a dentist for a professional cleaning and checkup every 6 months or so.\\nIf your teeth are yellow, ask your dentist whether they recommend a whitening toothpaste or at-home whitening strips. You can also talk to your dentist about in-office whitening options.\\nTip: instead of chugging your iced coffee, black tea, or soda, slurp it through a straw! This will help reduce the amount of dark and/or sugary liquid hitting your front teeth, which will keep them from staining as easily.\\n1-5. Keep your hair clean and style it to suit your taste.\\nFind a haircut and style that suits your face shape, your personal taste, and the texture of your hair. Just taking a few minutes to style your hair at the beginning of each day can really boost your confidence. If necessary, use products like leave-in conditioner, hairspray, salt spray, or mousse to help you manage your hair's texture, but look for products that are labeled as \\\"greaseless\\\" or \\\"oil-free\\\" so they don't make your hair look dirty.\\nIf your hair is short, you might wear it spiked up or neatly combed behind your ears, for instance. If it's long, you might wear it in a ponytail, French braid it, or leave it down.\\nYou don't have to wash your hair every day unless it's very oily. If your hair is dry, try washing it every 2-3 days instead. You can use a little dry shampoo if your hair does start to look oily between washes, however.\\nDon't be rough on your hair when you’re brushing it. Start brushing from the tips and work your way up.\\n1-6. Keep your nails neat and clean.\\nWhen you wash your hands or take a shower, use your hands or a nail brush to clean under your fingernails. Keep your nails trimmed to the same length, and avoid biting them, picking at your cuticles, or pulling off hangnails.\\nIf you’d like, you can paint your fingernails. Try a neutral shade for a subtle look, or wear your favorite color if you want to be bold!\\nIf your nails are brittle or weak, try applying a coat of nail strengthener about once a week.\\n1-7. Shape your eyebrows\\nIf your eyebrows are unruly, comb them, then use a brow gel to smooth them down. If you’d like your eyebrows to be fuller, fill them in with a pencil or powder. However, if you’d like your brows to be less bushy, carefully pluck them, or visit a salon for professional shaping, like a waxing or threading service. Then, as your eyebrows grow in, you can trim, pluck, or wax the stray hairs to maintain their shape.\\nIf you have other facial hair that bothers you, such as hairs above your top lip or stray hairs on your chin, tweeze or wax them to get rid of them. If it’s a lot of hair, you can also use a special bleaching kit designed specifically for facial hair. Keep in mind that shaving the hair on your face will make it look more obvious when it grows in.\\nBe sure to only use products specifically designed for use on the face, and read and follow any directions on the product label carefully.\\n1-8. Apply makeup that complements your features, if you wear any.\\nYou don’t have to wear makeup to be pretty, as just maintaining good hygiene and personal grooming habits can go a long way to making you look and feel great. But a little bit of makeup can help you accentuate your best features while improving features you don’t like as much.\\n\\nApply a bronzer that’s about 2 shades darker than your natural color to areas you want to hide. Apply a light-colored concealer or highlighter to areas you want to draw attention to, like the tops of your cheeks or the V above your lips.\\nDraw slightly outside the lines with lip liner to make your lips look bigger, or cover your lips with concealer before you apply lipstick if you want them to look smaller.\\nWear light eyeshadow and apply a small amount of eyeliner to the outside of your eyes to make your eyes look bigger. Opt for dark eyeshadow and thick eyeliner if you want to make them look smaller.\\n1-9. Wear clean clothing that fits well and is comfortable.\\nNo matter what size you are or what type of body you have, wearing clothing that fits will help you look and feel more confident and attractive. Opt for clothes that skim over your figure without being too tight or too baggy, and wear things that make you feel good about yourself.\\nYou don’t have to be a fashionista to dress well. Certain clothes never go out of style, like blue jeans, basic tees, button-down shirts, or the classic little black dress.\\nAlways wear clean clothes that are free of wrinkles. Dirty clothes might have an odor left by sweat and old skin cells.\\n1-10. Choose accessories that complement your outfit, if you want.\\nWhen you finish getting dressed each day, try to find an accessory that you can add, like a pretty necklace, bracelet, or handbag. This simple touch can help you look more stylish and add a bit of pizzazz to your outfit.\\nHair accessories, like a headband, barrette, or hair bow, typically add a pretty touch to an outfit.\\nIf you wear glasses, look for a pair that suits your face shape. For instance, you might balance a round face with square frames, or a square face with round frames, while cat-eye frames might work best if you have a triangular face. If you have a heart-shaped face, show it off with rimless frames.\\n2. Taking Care of Your Body\\n2-1. Exercise\\nA few times a week, make an effort to get out and go for a walk, jog, or swim, or make a visit to the gym. You can also get involved in a sport or a hobby you like. As long as you keep your body healthy and strong, you’re always going to look your best.\\nIf it’s hard for you to leave home to exercise, play upbeat songs and dance around your living room or bedroom for a few minutes every day!\\nExercising with a buddy can make it more enjoyable and make you more likely to stick with it!\\nExercise can change how your body looks, but it can also boost your confidence—which will make you seem more attractive.\\n2-2. Eat a low-fat, nutrient-rich diet to help you look and feel great.\\nIf you’re not eating healthy and getting the right nutrients, your skin might look dull and pale and you may have dark circles under your eyes. To ensure you’re getting everything you need from your diet, avoid processed sugars, eats lots of fruits and vegetables, opt for whole grains, and enjoy lean proteins like chicken, turkey, fish, tofu, and lentils.\\nFor healthy, glowing skin, choose foods that are rich in antioxidants, like carrots, spinach, tomatoes, berries, peas, beans, salmon, and nuts.\\n2-3. Maintain good posture\\nStand up straight with your shoulders back and your head high. Whenever you catch yourself slouching or looking at the ground, remind yourself to stand up straight and look people in the eye. Having good posture helps you project confidence, which will make you look more attractive. In addition, having good posture can help you feel more alert and energized.\\nWhen you're sitting up, like when you’re at your desk at school or at the dinner table, sit straight in your chair with your shoulders back and your lower back slightly curved in. This is a natural position for your spine. Use lumbar pillows or cushions to help you maintain this position when you're relaxing, as well.\\n2-4. Try relaxation techniques to cope with stress.\\nStress can make you look tired and worried, but learning healthy techniques can help you manage stress as it arises. When you’re dealing with a difficult situation, you might try deep breathing, yoga, or meditation to center yourself, for instance. It may also help to vent to a close friend, family member, or therapist.\\nIf you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, you may have too many responsibilities on your plate. Ask your family and friends for help, and practice saying no when someone asks you to do something that will cause you to be stretched too thin.\\n2-5. Wear sunscreen and protective clothing when you go outside.\\nOver time, damage from the sun’s rays can cause your skin to become dry and dull, and it can even lead to wrinkles. Any time you go outside, cover all of your exposed skin with a broad-spectrum sunscreen that’s at least SPF 30.\\nYou can also help protect your skin by wearing loose clothing, hats, and sunglasses. Très chic!\\nRemember, you’re still exposed to the sun’s rays on a cloudy day, so don’t skip sunscreen just because it’s overcast.\\n2-6. Drink plenty of water each day to stay hydrated.\\nStaying hydrated will help keep your skin looking healthy and vibrant. Your exact hydration needs will vary depending on your age, size, and activity level. However, it’s generally advised to drink about 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) of water every day if you’re a woman, or about 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) if you’re a man.\\nTry carrying a refillable water bottle with you to help you remember to drink water wherever you go.\\nIf you’re concerned there won’t be clean water where you’re going, bring along a water bottle that contains a filter.\\n2-7. Get plenty of sleep every night.\\nA good night’s rest will help you look refreshed each day. In addition, you’ll be in a better mood, which can also help you seem more attractive. Try to go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time every morning, since sticking to a regular schedule can help you sleep better. Also, make sure it’s dark, quiet, and cool in your room when you go to bed each night.\\nIf you're 6–13 years old, you need about 9–11 hours of sleep. Folks between 13 and 18 need about 8–10 hours, and if you’re over 18, you need 7–9 hours.\\nTry to avoid using your phone or any other screens an hour before bedtime, as this can negatively impact your sleep.\\n3. Cultivating Beauty from the Inside\\n3-1. Avoid comparing yourself to others\\nIt can be really hard, but don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of believing you need to look like a TV star or model in order to be pretty. Instead, appreciate the natural beauty you can see in yourself and others.\\nBy paying attention to the things you find attractive about others, it may be easier for you to find things you like about yourself, as well.\\nRemember, the images you see in the media are often shot after a lot of work with a hair and makeup artist, wardrobe person, and a lighting specialist, and they’re often shot from specific flattering angles.\\nThe image might even be edited to remove any “flaws” on the model. If you hold yourself up to this standard, it will be nearly impossible to feel good about yourself.\\n3-2. Challenge negative thoughts\\nIf your opinion about how you look is affecting your self-esteem, you might struggle with negative thinking. It can be really hard, but when you're thinking bad things about yourself, try to switch to a positive, factual thought instead. For instance, you might focus on a few of your best qualities, or you could look for a solution if you're concerned about a problem that you can change.\\nFor instance, instead of thinking, \\\"I don't look like a model, so no one will ever love me,\\\" you might tell yourself, \\\"I'm really funny and I'm a great friend, and people really like being around me.\\\"\\nIf you find yourself thinking something like, \\\"I hate my hair,\\\" try to think of something constructive, like, \\\"I need to figure out the haircut that will work best for my hair's texture. Maybe I can try growing it out for a while, and in the meantime, I'll save up for a trip to a nice salon.\\\"\\n3-3. Be kind to the people you meet.\\nIn order to let your inner beauty to shine through, treat others with compassion and love. Look for the good in them, and celebrate it. Give genuine compliments to your family and friends, and be a supportive listener when someone is going through a hard time.\\nIf you’re beautiful on the inside, you’re going to seem more attractive on the outside.\\n3-4. Smile when you’re around others.\\nNot only will smiling make you seem more attractive, but it might even make you feel happier. People almost always look prettier when they’re happy, so this is an easy way to brighten up your look any time.\\nStudies also show that smiling can “trick” your brain into making you feel happier! So if you’re in a rotten mood, try smiling—even if only to yourself in the mirror.\\n3-5. Prioritize relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself.\\nDon’t waste your time around people who put you down or say negative things about your appearance. Instead, make an effort to reach out and spend time with people who make you feel good. Then, you’ll be too busy having a good time with them to worry about what anyone else thinks, anyway!\\nIf you can’t avoid being around someone who says unkind things, like a family member or a coworker, practice standing up for yourself, instead. For instance, if someone calls you unattractive, you might say, “Stop saying that. It’s rude and it makes me uncomfortable.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Feeling like you don’t live up to an impossible beauty standard can be really hard. Even if you know that your character and accomplishments are more important than your looks, there may be times when you just want to look in the mirror and feel pretty. Check out our tips on how to take good care of yourself inside and out. Before you know it, you'll start to feel a lot better about your appearance.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing Good Grooming Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shower or bathe every day with mild soap.\", \"描述\": \"To ensure you smell fresh and have healthy-looking skin, wash up with mild soap once a day, or more often if you do any vigorous exercise. Using soap that contains harsh detergents or strong scents can leave your skin dry and dull-looking.\\nConsider wearing deodorant and/or antiperspirant every day to smell fresh and clean. You can also wear a light spritzing of perfume or body spray if you’d like, but remember to go easy so it doesn’t smell too overwhelming.\\nSome people like to remove their body hair, while others don’t. Do whatever works for you and makes you feel more confident! If you're concerned about visible body hair, try shaving your armpits and legs before you wear clothing that exposes those areas.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wash your face with a gentle cleanser and apply moisturizer twice a day.\", \"描述\": \"Every morning when you wake up and at night before you go to bed, wash your face to remove acne-causing dirt and oil from your skin. Gently pat your face dry with a soft cloth, then apply a thin layer of a lightweight facial moisturizer to keep your skin looking hydrated and vibrant.\\nBe sure to use a cleanser that’s specifically made for use on the face. The skin there is more sensitive than the skin on your body, so regular body soap can be too harsh.\\nChoose a cleanser and moisturizer that are formulated for your skin type. For instance, if you have oily skin, you might use a foaming cleanser and a lightweight, oil-free moisturizer. If you have dry skin, you might use a hydrating gel cleaner and a rich cream moisturizer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exfoliate your skin every 1-2 weeks to remove dead skin cells.\", \"描述\": \"If your skin looks dull, you may need to exfoliate to get rid of any dead skin on the surface. Wet a washcloth and gently rub it over your forehead, cheeks, and chin in a circular motion. You can also exfoliate the skin on your body, especially on your elbows, knees, and feet.\\nYou can purchase a variety of exfoliating scrubs and brushes at your local drugstore or beauty supply store. You can even make your own sugar scrub by mixing olive oil, honey, and sugar.\\nYour lips will also benefit from a good scrub routine. Use a homemade sugar scrub or buy lip sugar scrub.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Brush your teeth twice a day and floss daily.\", \"描述\": \"Your smile makes a big impression on people when you first meet them, so be sure to keep up with your daily oral hygiene. Brush your teeth with toothpaste at least twice a day for 2 minutes, and floss every evening before bed. In addition, see a dentist for a professional cleaning and checkup every 6 months or so.\\nIf your teeth are yellow, ask your dentist whether they recommend a whitening toothpaste or at-home whitening strips. You can also talk to your dentist about in-office whitening options.\\nTip: instead of chugging your iced coffee, black tea, or soda, slurp it through a straw! This will help reduce the amount of dark and/or sugary liquid hitting your front teeth, which will keep them from staining as easily.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your hair clean and style it to suit your taste.\", \"描述\": \"Find a haircut and style that suits your face shape, your personal taste, and the texture of your hair. Just taking a few minutes to style your hair at the beginning of each day can really boost your confidence. If necessary, use products like leave-in conditioner, hairspray, salt spray, or mousse to help you manage your hair's texture, but look for products that are labeled as \\\"greaseless\\\" or \\\"oil-free\\\" so they don't make your hair look dirty.\\nIf your hair is short, you might wear it spiked up or neatly combed behind your ears, for instance. If it's long, you might wear it in a ponytail, French braid it, or leave it down.\\nYou don't have to wash your hair every day unless it's very oily. If your hair is dry, try washing it every 2-3 days instead. You can use a little dry shampoo if your hair does start to look oily between washes, however.\\nDon't be rough on your hair when you’re brushing it. Start brushing from the tips and work your way up.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your nails neat and clean.\", \"描述\": \"When you wash your hands or take a shower, use your hands or a nail brush to clean under your fingernails. Keep your nails trimmed to the same length, and avoid biting them, picking at your cuticles, or pulling off hangnails.\\nIf you’d like, you can paint your fingernails. Try a neutral shade for a subtle look, or wear your favorite color if you want to be bold!\\nIf your nails are brittle or weak, try applying a coat of nail strengthener about once a week.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Shape your eyebrows\", \"描述\": \"If your eyebrows are unruly, comb them, then use a brow gel to smooth them down. If you’d like your eyebrows to be fuller, fill them in with a pencil or powder. However, if you’d like your brows to be less bushy, carefully pluck them, or visit a salon for professional shaping, like a waxing or threading service. Then, as your eyebrows grow in, you can trim, pluck, or wax the stray hairs to maintain their shape.\\nIf you have other facial hair that bothers you, such as hairs above your top lip or stray hairs on your chin, tweeze or wax them to get rid of them. If it’s a lot of hair, you can also use a special bleaching kit designed specifically for facial hair. Keep in mind that shaving the hair on your face will make it look more obvious when it grows in.\\nBe sure to only use products specifically designed for use on the face, and read and follow any directions on the product label carefully.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Apply makeup that complements your features, if you wear any.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to wear makeup to be pretty, as just maintaining good hygiene and personal grooming habits can go a long way to making you look and feel great. But a little bit of makeup can help you accentuate your best features while improving features you don’t like as much.\\n\\nApply a bronzer that’s about 2 shades darker than your natural color to areas you want to hide. Apply a light-colored concealer or highlighter to areas you want to draw attention to, like the tops of your cheeks or the V above your lips.\\nDraw slightly outside the lines with lip liner to make your lips look bigger, or cover your lips with concealer before you apply lipstick if you want them to look smaller.\\nWear light eyeshadow and apply a small amount of eyeliner to the outside of your eyes to make your eyes look bigger. Opt for dark eyeshadow and thick eyeliner if you want to make them look smaller.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Wear clean clothing that fits well and is comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what size you are or what type of body you have, wearing clothing that fits will help you look and feel more confident and attractive. Opt for clothes that skim over your figure without being too tight or too baggy, and wear things that make you feel good about yourself.\\nYou don’t have to be a fashionista to dress well. Certain clothes never go out of style, like blue jeans, basic tees, button-down shirts, or the classic little black dress.\\nAlways wear clean clothes that are free of wrinkles. Dirty clothes might have an odor left by sweat and old skin cells.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Choose accessories that complement your outfit, if you want.\", \"描述\": \"When you finish getting dressed each day, try to find an accessory that you can add, like a pretty necklace, bracelet, or handbag. This simple touch can help you look more stylish and add a bit of pizzazz to your outfit.\\nHair accessories, like a headband, barrette, or hair bow, typically add a pretty touch to an outfit.\\nIf you wear glasses, look for a pair that suits your face shape. For instance, you might balance a round face with square frames, or a square face with round frames, while cat-eye frames might work best if you have a triangular face. If you have a heart-shaped face, show it off with rimless frames.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"A few times a week, make an effort to get out and go for a walk, jog, or swim, or make a visit to the gym. You can also get involved in a sport or a hobby you like. As long as you keep your body healthy and strong, you’re always going to look your best.\\nIf it’s hard for you to leave home to exercise, play upbeat songs and dance around your living room or bedroom for a few minutes every day!\\nExercising with a buddy can make it more enjoyable and make you more likely to stick with it!\\nExercise can change how your body looks, but it can also boost your confidence—which will make you seem more attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Eat a low-fat, nutrient-rich diet to help you look and feel great.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re not eating healthy and getting the right nutrients, your skin might look dull and pale and you may have dark circles under your eyes. To ensure you’re getting everything you need from your diet, avoid processed sugars, eats lots of fruits and vegetables, opt for whole grains, and enjoy lean proteins like chicken, turkey, fish, tofu, and lentils.\\nFor healthy, glowing skin, choose foods that are rich in antioxidants, like carrots, spinach, tomatoes, berries, peas, beans, salmon, and nuts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain good posture\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your head high. Whenever you catch yourself slouching or looking at the ground, remind yourself to stand up straight and look people in the eye. Having good posture helps you project confidence, which will make you look more attractive. In addition, having good posture can help you feel more alert and energized.\\nWhen you're sitting up, like when you’re at your desk at school or at the dinner table, sit straight in your chair with your shoulders back and your lower back slightly curved in. This is a natural position for your spine. Use lumbar pillows or cushions to help you maintain this position when you're relaxing, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try relaxation techniques to cope with stress.\", \"描述\": \"Stress can make you look tired and worried, but learning healthy techniques can help you manage stress as it arises. When you’re dealing with a difficult situation, you might try deep breathing, yoga, or meditation to center yourself, for instance. It may also help to vent to a close friend, family member, or therapist.\\nIf you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, you may have too many responsibilities on your plate. Ask your family and friends for help, and practice saying no when someone asks you to do something that will cause you to be stretched too thin.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear sunscreen and protective clothing when you go outside.\", \"描述\": \"Over time, damage from the sun’s rays can cause your skin to become dry and dull, and it can even lead to wrinkles. Any time you go outside, cover all of your exposed skin with a broad-spectrum sunscreen that’s at least SPF 30.\\nYou can also help protect your skin by wearing loose clothing, hats, and sunglasses. Très chic!\\nRemember, you’re still exposed to the sun’s rays on a cloudy day, so don’t skip sunscreen just because it’s overcast.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Drink plenty of water each day to stay hydrated.\", \"描述\": \"Staying hydrated will help keep your skin looking healthy and vibrant. Your exact hydration needs will vary depending on your age, size, and activity level. However, it’s generally advised to drink about 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) of water every day if you’re a woman, or about 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) if you’re a man.\\nTry carrying a refillable water bottle with you to help you remember to drink water wherever you go.\\nIf you’re concerned there won’t be clean water where you’re going, bring along a water bottle that contains a filter.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get plenty of sleep every night.\", \"描述\": \"A good night’s rest will help you look refreshed each day. In addition, you’ll be in a better mood, which can also help you seem more attractive. Try to go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time every morning, since sticking to a regular schedule can help you sleep better. Also, make sure it’s dark, quiet, and cool in your room when you go to bed each night.\\nIf you're 6–13 years old, you need about 9–11 hours of sleep. Folks between 13 and 18 need about 8–10 hours, and if you’re over 18, you need 7–9 hours.\\nTry to avoid using your phone or any other screens an hour before bedtime, as this can negatively impact your sleep.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Cultivating Beauty from the Inside\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparing yourself to others\", \"描述\": \"It can be really hard, but don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of believing you need to look like a TV star or model in order to be pretty. Instead, appreciate the natural beauty you can see in yourself and others.\\nBy paying attention to the things you find attractive about others, it may be easier for you to find things you like about yourself, as well.\\nRemember, the images you see in the media are often shot after a lot of work with a hair and makeup artist, wardrobe person, and a lighting specialist, and they’re often shot from specific flattering angles.\\nThe image might even be edited to remove any “flaws” on the model. If you hold yourself up to this standard, it will be nearly impossible to feel good about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Challenge negative thoughts\", \"描述\": \"If your opinion about how you look is affecting your self-esteem, you might struggle with negative thinking. It can be really hard, but when you're thinking bad things about yourself, try to switch to a positive, factual thought instead. For instance, you might focus on a few of your best qualities, or you could look for a solution if you're concerned about a problem that you can change.\\nFor instance, instead of thinking, \\\"I don't look like a model, so no one will ever love me,\\\" you might tell yourself, \\\"I'm really funny and I'm a great friend, and people really like being around me.\\\"\\nIf you find yourself thinking something like, \\\"I hate my hair,\\\" try to think of something constructive, like, \\\"I need to figure out the haircut that will work best for my hair's texture. Maybe I can try growing it out for a while, and in the meantime, I'll save up for a trip to a nice salon.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be kind to the people you meet.\", \"描述\": \"In order to let your inner beauty to shine through, treat others with compassion and love. Look for the good in them, and celebrate it. Give genuine compliments to your family and friends, and be a supportive listener when someone is going through a hard time.\\nIf you’re beautiful on the inside, you’re going to seem more attractive on the outside.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Smile when you’re around others.\", \"描述\": \"Not only will smiling make you seem more attractive, but it might even make you feel happier. People almost always look prettier when they’re happy, so this is an easy way to brighten up your look any time.\\nStudies also show that smiling can “trick” your brain into making you feel happier! So if you’re in a rotten mood, try smiling—even if only to yourself in the mirror.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prioritize relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t waste your time around people who put you down or say negative things about your appearance. Instead, make an effort to reach out and spend time with people who make you feel good. Then, you’ll be too busy having a good time with them to worry about what anyone else thinks, anyway!\\nIf you can’t avoid being around someone who says unkind things, like a family member or a coworker, practice standing up for yourself, instead. For instance, if someone calls you unattractive, you might say, “Stop saying that. It’s rude and it makes me uncomfortable.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,065 | How to Be Proactive | 1. Set concrete, realistic goals.
Taking action is great, but only if it’s calculated and focused.
This is a great way to keep yourself motivated and moving forward. If you set goals that are out of reach, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and are much less likely to be motivated to continue working towards your goal.
Instead of telling yourself to lose all of your extra weight within a month, set a goal to swim or run a mile each day.
Make sure that your goals are what you truly want. For instance, your goal on paper might be to get a raise at work, while you truly want to prove your parents wrong.
2. Pick a single important task and do it now.
If you’ve been putting off something big, get started this instant.
Having a never-ending list of tasks to complete can be overwhelming, and it’s likely to cause you to run from one task to the next without ever actually completing one. Instead of trying to do everything at once, focus on the things that are most important and aim for accomplishing those.
If your to-do list consists of things such as cleaning out the closet, taking the car to get inspected, and reorganizing the bedroom, you should focus on the thing that is most important — getting the car inspected.
3. Accomplish one minor task every day.
Staying on top of the small things keeps them from piling up.
By taking care of regular day-to-day tasks instead of putting them off, you’ll create less stress for yourself while also making sure those small tasks don’t turn into a larger problem. A little effort up-front could save you from a larger crisis later.
Pay particular attention to preventative maintenance, whether that means checking the fluids in your car, restocking your pantry, or setting aside a bit of money in savings each week.
4. Let go of the stuff outside your control.
If you can’t control something, dedicating energy to it is a waste of time.
It’s useless to spend time worrying about things that you can’t actively change. Use your energy and motivation to work on tackling tasks that you know you can accomplish. This will allow you to get much more done while feeling more positive.
For example, if you're stressing out about your son's grades at school, you can't make him get good grades. However, you can help him study for tests, make sure he's getting enough sleep, and encourage him to take his grades seriously.
5. Take initiative instead of waiting for help.
Why wait on other people when you can do something yourself?
You are the only one who can accomplish your goals and fix your problems. While there are people in your life who will support you, you need to rely on yourself to achieve success. Start taking initiative and embrace the challenge when you run into problems.
Instead of placing the blame on someone or something else when a problem arises, take ownership of the issue and work towards solving it yourself.
6. Reflect on your actions.
Monitoring whether you’re making progress can help guide your next move.
Every once in a while, stop for a minute to reflect on what you’ve been doing. If you aren’t reaching your goals, think about how you could perform tasks more efficiently and come up with a new plan.
Create a plan, checklist, or routine to accomplish the task.
Look for steps in the process you can eliminate, consolidate, or shorten.
7. Be solution oriented.
Focusing on your problems can prevent you from making progress.
While it can be easy to see problems as overwhelming, negative hurdles, try to change that mindset. Focus on becoming a problem-solver and figure out solutions to problems that you come across.
If you see problems as things that can be fixed, you’ll find it much easier to come up with a solution.
For example, if a co-worker has really bad body odor after exercising during their lunch break, you could kindly suggest that they shower at the gym or go to the gym after work.
8. Spend your time with motivated people.
Dumping your energy into toxic relationships is wasteful.
To be proactive, you want to spend time with people who will push to you excel and take action. If you’re surrounded by driven, motivated people, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated as well.
If you’ve been spending time with someone who is negative, lazy, or similarly unmotivated, it’s time to put some distance between yourself and this person.
9. Keep a calm and level head.
Giving into anger and frustration can keep you from being productive.
If you find yourself getting upset when talking to someone, take a few deep breaths to calm down and refocus. While it can be easy to lash out in anger, it's much better to communicate calmly and effectively.
You can take deep breaths to calm yourself down during any situation where you're feeling upset, whether communicating with someone or not.
10. Hold yourself accountable.
Refuse to accept excuses from yourself and make it up if you fall behind.
When it comes to getting things done, you need to hold yourself to the task, making sure you accomplish it in an appropriate amount of time. This means taking responsibility and giving each task a sense of urgency.
Consider telling someone else all of the things you're hoping to hold yourself accountable for. This person will help you stick to your goals and let you know when you could be doing better.
11. Treat failure as an opportunity.
Learning from your mistakes helps you grow as a proactive person.
If you go through a failure, try to learn from the experience. Think about how you could go about things differently. By turning setbacks into knowledge, you'll always be moving forward.
12. Develop a routine.
Consistency is huge when it comes using your time efficiently.
Stick to a schedule, wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, and set time aside for exercise, self-care, and hobbies. The more regular your routine is, the easier it will be to maximize the way you spend your time. Know how much you can handle and take small, consistent steps towards your goals.
If you make promises you can’t keep or set unrealistic expectations, you’re going to disappoint yourself as well as others.
13. Turn anxiety and fear into something constructive.
The ability to turn the bad into something good is key to staying focused.
Instead of being bogged down by feelings of anxiety or an unhealthy amount of overthinking, try distracting yourself by getting things done. Channeling your energy into completing small tasks will help you feel positive and productive.
For example, if you can't stop stressing and worrying about whether or not you'll be getting a raise at work, set your mind to simpler tasks, such as fixing up the yard or doing the dishes.
Talking to people you trust about the things that are worrying you can also be a great way to get some advice while relieving some of your stress. For instance, if someone is bullying you at work, you could sit down with an HR rep and explain what's going on.
14. Volunteer to take the lead.
Becoming a leader of other people will give you meaning and focus.
Proactive people don’t sit on the sidelines or just listen to other people’s suggestions. Take action and start actively participating, whether it’s by providing input during job meetings or coming up with your own plans for family activities.
Never shy away from an opportunity to be in charge. Getting comfortable with taking responsibility for others will really help you grow as a person.
15. Be empathetic and explore new perspectives.
Don’t let your proactiveness keep you from listening to others.
If you're having trouble understanding someone's side of things or just want to get a more accurate picture, consider the other person's viewpoint. Empathy will help prevent you from only seeing one side of things.
For example, if an employee or coworker is always showing up late to work, try to understand why this might be happening. Do they have children that need to be driven to school? Do they have reliable transportation? Try seeing the issue from their viewpoint.
If someone is rude to you at work, try to remind yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can. Not everyone has emotional intelligence or a support system that makes them feel loved and appreciated.
16. Interrogate your negative assumptions.
Ask yourself what’s happening when you assume the worst.
While it can be easy to make a snap judgment, it's important to get all the information before coming to a conclusion. Maintaining an open outlook will help you think more rationally and come up with better solutions.
Maybe someone didn't respond to your text message — instead of assuming they just don't want to talk to you, consider that they may be super busy or don't have their phone on them.
17. Choose to see the bright side.
A positive outlook makes it a lot easier to stay proactive.
Not only is a positive outlook important for staying happy and healthy, it's also a key aspect in being proactive. Instead of attaching negative vibes to problems, try to stay positive and see them in a different light.
When you start thinking negative thoughts, try to stop them as soon as you notice. Replace them with motivational, positive thoughts instead.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Set concrete, realistic goals.\\nTaking action is great, but only if it’s calculated and focused.\\nThis is a great way to keep yourself motivated and moving forward. If you set goals that are out of reach, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and are much less likely to be motivated to continue working towards your goal.\\nInstead of telling yourself to lose all of your extra weight within a month, set a goal to swim or run a mile each day.\\nMake sure that your goals are what you truly want. For instance, your goal on paper might be to get a raise at work, while you truly want to prove your parents wrong.\\n2. Pick a single important task and do it now.\\nIf you’ve been putting off something big, get started this instant.\\nHaving a never-ending list of tasks to complete can be overwhelming, and it’s likely to cause you to run from one task to the next without ever actually completing one. Instead of trying to do everything at once, focus on the things that are most important and aim for accomplishing those.\\nIf your to-do list consists of things such as cleaning out the closet, taking the car to get inspected, and reorganizing the bedroom, you should focus on the thing that is most important — getting the car inspected.\\n3. Accomplish one minor task every day.\\nStaying on top of the small things keeps them from piling up.\\nBy taking care of regular day-to-day tasks instead of putting them off, you’ll create less stress for yourself while also making sure those small tasks don’t turn into a larger problem. A little effort up-front could save you from a larger crisis later.\\nPay particular attention to preventative maintenance, whether that means checking the fluids in your car, restocking your pantry, or setting aside a bit of money in savings each week.\\n4. Let go of the stuff outside your control.\\nIf you can’t control something, dedicating energy to it is a waste of time.\\nIt’s useless to spend time worrying about things that you can’t actively change. Use your energy and motivation to work on tackling tasks that you know you can accomplish. This will allow you to get much more done while feeling more positive.\\nFor example, if you're stressing out about your son's grades at school, you can't make him get good grades. However, you can help him study for tests, make sure he's getting enough sleep, and encourage him to take his grades seriously.\\n5. Take initiative instead of waiting for help.\\nWhy wait on other people when you can do something yourself?\\nYou are the only one who can accomplish your goals and fix your problems. While there are people in your life who will support you, you need to rely on yourself to achieve success. Start taking initiative and embrace the challenge when you run into problems.\\nInstead of placing the blame on someone or something else when a problem arises, take ownership of the issue and work towards solving it yourself.\\n6. Reflect on your actions.\\nMonitoring whether you’re making progress can help guide your next move.\\nEvery once in a while, stop for a minute to reflect on what you’ve been doing. If you aren’t reaching your goals, think about how you could perform tasks more efficiently and come up with a new plan.\\nCreate a plan, checklist, or routine to accomplish the task.\\nLook for steps in the process you can eliminate, consolidate, or shorten.\\n7. Be solution oriented.\\nFocusing on your problems can prevent you from making progress.\\nWhile it can be easy to see problems as overwhelming, negative hurdles, try to change that mindset. Focus on becoming a problem-solver and figure out solutions to problems that you come across.\\nIf you see problems as things that can be fixed, you’ll find it much easier to come up with a solution.\\nFor example, if a co-worker has really bad body odor after exercising during their lunch break, you could kindly suggest that they shower at the gym or go to the gym after work.\\n8. Spend your time with motivated people.\\nDumping your energy into toxic relationships is wasteful.\\nTo be proactive, you want to spend time with people who will push to you excel and take action. If you’re surrounded by driven, motivated people, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated as well.\\nIf you’ve been spending time with someone who is negative, lazy, or similarly unmotivated, it’s time to put some distance between yourself and this person.\\n9. Keep a calm and level head.\\nGiving into anger and frustration can keep you from being productive.\\nIf you find yourself getting upset when talking to someone, take a few deep breaths to calm down and refocus. While it can be easy to lash out in anger, it's much better to communicate calmly and effectively.\\nYou can take deep breaths to calm yourself down during any situation where you're feeling upset, whether communicating with someone or not.\\n10. Hold yourself accountable.\\nRefuse to accept excuses from yourself and make it up if you fall behind.\\nWhen it comes to getting things done, you need to hold yourself to the task, making sure you accomplish it in an appropriate amount of time. This means taking responsibility and giving each task a sense of urgency.\\nConsider telling someone else all of the things you're hoping to hold yourself accountable for. This person will help you stick to your goals and let you know when you could be doing better.\\n11. Treat failure as an opportunity.\\nLearning from your mistakes helps you grow as a proactive person.\\nIf you go through a failure, try to learn from the experience. Think about how you could go about things differently. By turning setbacks into knowledge, you'll always be moving forward.\\n12. Develop a routine.\\nConsistency is huge when it comes using your time efficiently.\\nStick to a schedule, wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, and set time aside for exercise, self-care, and hobbies. The more regular your routine is, the easier it will be to maximize the way you spend your time. Know how much you can handle and take small, consistent steps towards your goals.\\nIf you make promises you can’t keep or set unrealistic expectations, you’re going to disappoint yourself as well as others.\\n13. Turn anxiety and fear into something constructive.\\nThe ability to turn the bad into something good is key to staying focused.\\nInstead of being bogged down by feelings of anxiety or an unhealthy amount of overthinking, try distracting yourself by getting things done. Channeling your energy into completing small tasks will help you feel positive and productive.\\nFor example, if you can't stop stressing and worrying about whether or not you'll be getting a raise at work, set your mind to simpler tasks, such as fixing up the yard or doing the dishes.\\nTalking to people you trust about the things that are worrying you can also be a great way to get some advice while relieving some of your stress. For instance, if someone is bullying you at work, you could sit down with an HR rep and explain what's going on.\\n14. Volunteer to take the lead.\\nBecoming a leader of other people will give you meaning and focus.\\nProactive people don’t sit on the sidelines or just listen to other people’s suggestions. Take action and start actively participating, whether it’s by providing input during job meetings or coming up with your own plans for family activities.\\nNever shy away from an opportunity to be in charge. Getting comfortable with taking responsibility for others will really help you grow as a person.\\n15. Be empathetic and explore new perspectives.\\nDon’t let your proactiveness keep you from listening to others.\\nIf you're having trouble understanding someone's side of things or just want to get a more accurate picture, consider the other person's viewpoint. Empathy will help prevent you from only seeing one side of things.\\nFor example, if an employee or coworker is always showing up late to work, try to understand why this might be happening. Do they have children that need to be driven to school? Do they have reliable transportation? Try seeing the issue from their viewpoint.\\nIf someone is rude to you at work, try to remind yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can. Not everyone has emotional intelligence or a support system that makes them feel loved and appreciated.\\n16. Interrogate your negative assumptions.\\nAsk yourself what’s happening when you assume the worst.\\nWhile it can be easy to make a snap judgment, it's important to get all the information before coming to a conclusion. Maintaining an open outlook will help you think more rationally and come up with better solutions.\\nMaybe someone didn't respond to your text message — instead of assuming they just don't want to talk to you, consider that they may be super busy or don't have their phone on them.\\n17. Choose to see the bright side.\\nA positive outlook makes it a lot easier to stay proactive.\\nNot only is a positive outlook important for staying happy and healthy, it's also a key aspect in being proactive. Instead of attaching negative vibes to problems, try to stay positive and see them in a different light.\\nWhen you start thinking negative thoughts, try to stop them as soon as you notice. Replace them with motivational, positive thoughts instead.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want to be a more productive, action-oriented person? If you feel like you’re always planning and never doing, there are plenty of ways to change that. In this article, we’ll walk through 17 things all proactive people do—from taking action and embracing responsibility, to controlling your emotions and focusing on solutions. In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about being a more proactive person!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set concrete, realistic goals.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking action is great, but only if it’s calculated and focused.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to keep yourself motivated and moving forward. If you set goals that are out of reach, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and are much less likely to be motivated to continue working towards your goal.\\nInstead of telling yourself to lose all of your extra weight within a month, set a goal to swim or run a mile each day.\\nMake sure that your goals are what you truly want. For instance, your goal on paper might be to get a raise at work, while you truly want to prove your parents wrong.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick a single important task and do it now.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’ve been putting off something big, get started this instant.\", \"描述\": \"Having a never-ending list of tasks to complete can be overwhelming, and it’s likely to cause you to run from one task to the next without ever actually completing one. Instead of trying to do everything at once, focus on the things that are most important and aim for accomplishing those.\\nIf your to-do list consists of things such as cleaning out the closet, taking the car to get inspected, and reorganizing the bedroom, you should focus on the thing that is most important — getting the car inspected.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accomplish one minor task every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying on top of the small things keeps them from piling up.\", \"描述\": \"By taking care of regular day-to-day tasks instead of putting them off, you’ll create less stress for yourself while also making sure those small tasks don’t turn into a larger problem. A little effort up-front could save you from a larger crisis later.\\nPay particular attention to preventative maintenance, whether that means checking the fluids in your car, restocking your pantry, or setting aside a bit of money in savings each week.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let go of the stuff outside your control.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you can’t control something, dedicating energy to it is a waste of time.\", \"描述\": \"It’s useless to spend time worrying about things that you can’t actively change. Use your energy and motivation to work on tackling tasks that you know you can accomplish. This will allow you to get much more done while feeling more positive.\\nFor example, if you're stressing out about your son's grades at school, you can't make him get good grades. However, you can help him study for tests, make sure he's getting enough sleep, and encourage him to take his grades seriously.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take initiative instead of waiting for help.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Why wait on other people when you can do something yourself?\", \"描述\": \"You are the only one who can accomplish your goals and fix your problems. While there are people in your life who will support you, you need to rely on yourself to achieve success. Start taking initiative and embrace the challenge when you run into problems.\\nInstead of placing the blame on someone or something else when a problem arises, take ownership of the issue and work towards solving it yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reflect on your actions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Monitoring whether you’re making progress can help guide your next move.\", \"描述\": \"Every once in a while, stop for a minute to reflect on what you’ve been doing. If you aren’t reaching your goals, think about how you could perform tasks more efficiently and come up with a new plan.\\nCreate a plan, checklist, or routine to accomplish the task.\\nLook for steps in the process you can eliminate, consolidate, or shorten.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be solution oriented.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focusing on your problems can prevent you from making progress.\", \"描述\": \"While it can be easy to see problems as overwhelming, negative hurdles, try to change that mindset. Focus on becoming a problem-solver and figure out solutions to problems that you come across.\\nIf you see problems as things that can be fixed, you’ll find it much easier to come up with a solution.\\nFor example, if a co-worker has really bad body odor after exercising during their lunch break, you could kindly suggest that they shower at the gym or go to the gym after work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Spend your time with motivated people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dumping your energy into toxic relationships is wasteful.\", \"描述\": \"To be proactive, you want to spend time with people who will push to you excel and take action. If you’re surrounded by driven, motivated people, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated as well.\\nIf you’ve been spending time with someone who is negative, lazy, or similarly unmotivated, it’s time to put some distance between yourself and this person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Keep a calm and level head.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving into anger and frustration can keep you from being productive.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself getting upset when talking to someone, take a few deep breaths to calm down and refocus. While it can be easy to lash out in anger, it's much better to communicate calmly and effectively.\\nYou can take deep breaths to calm yourself down during any situation where you're feeling upset, whether communicating with someone or not.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Hold yourself accountable.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Refuse to accept excuses from yourself and make it up if you fall behind.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to getting things done, you need to hold yourself to the task, making sure you accomplish it in an appropriate amount of time. This means taking responsibility and giving each task a sense of urgency.\\nConsider telling someone else all of the things you're hoping to hold yourself accountable for. This person will help you stick to your goals and let you know when you could be doing better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Treat failure as an opportunity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learning from your mistakes helps you grow as a proactive person.\", \"描述\": \"If you go through a failure, try to learn from the experience. Think about how you could go about things differently. By turning setbacks into knowledge, you'll always be moving forward.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Develop a routine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consistency is huge when it comes using your time efficiently.\", \"描述\": \"Stick to a schedule, wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day, and set time aside for exercise, self-care, and hobbies. The more regular your routine is, the easier it will be to maximize the way you spend your time. Know how much you can handle and take small, consistent steps towards your goals.\\nIf you make promises you can’t keep or set unrealistic expectations, you’re going to disappoint yourself as well as others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Turn anxiety and fear into something constructive.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The ability to turn the bad into something good is key to staying focused.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of being bogged down by feelings of anxiety or an unhealthy amount of overthinking, try distracting yourself by getting things done. Channeling your energy into completing small tasks will help you feel positive and productive.\\nFor example, if you can't stop stressing and worrying about whether or not you'll be getting a raise at work, set your mind to simpler tasks, such as fixing up the yard or doing the dishes.\\nTalking to people you trust about the things that are worrying you can also be a great way to get some advice while relieving some of your stress. For instance, if someone is bullying you at work, you could sit down with an HR rep and explain what's going on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Volunteer to take the lead.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Becoming a leader of other people will give you meaning and focus.\", \"描述\": \"Proactive people don’t sit on the sidelines or just listen to other people’s suggestions. Take action and start actively participating, whether it’s by providing input during job meetings or coming up with your own plans for family activities.\\nNever shy away from an opportunity to be in charge. Getting comfortable with taking responsibility for others will really help you grow as a person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Be empathetic and explore new perspectives.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t let your proactiveness keep you from listening to others.\", \"描述\": \"If you're having trouble understanding someone's side of things or just want to get a more accurate picture, consider the other person's viewpoint. Empathy will help prevent you from only seeing one side of things.\\nFor example, if an employee or coworker is always showing up late to work, try to understand why this might be happening. Do they have children that need to be driven to school? Do they have reliable transportation? Try seeing the issue from their viewpoint.\\nIf someone is rude to you at work, try to remind yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can. Not everyone has emotional intelligence or a support system that makes them feel loved and appreciated.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Interrogate your negative assumptions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself what’s happening when you assume the worst.\", \"描述\": \"While it can be easy to make a snap judgment, it's important to get all the information before coming to a conclusion. Maintaining an open outlook will help you think more rationally and come up with better solutions.\\nMaybe someone didn't respond to your text message — instead of assuming they just don't want to talk to you, consider that they may be super busy or don't have their phone on them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Choose to see the bright side.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A positive outlook makes it a lot easier to stay proactive.\", \"描述\": \"Not only is a positive outlook important for staying happy and healthy, it's also a key aspect in being proactive. Instead of attaching negative vibes to problems, try to stay positive and see them in a different light.\\nWhen you start thinking negative thoughts, try to stop them as soon as you notice. Replace them with motivational, positive thoughts instead.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,066 | How to Be Productive | 1. Be Organized
1-1. Make a to-do list.
Write down all of your tasks, as well as everything you would like to accomplish for the day/week or keep a running list of tasks that you need to get done. To-do lists are tried-and-true productivity tools, but they only work if you use them correctly.
Be as concrete, specific and reasonable about your tasks as possible. For example, don't just write "clean the house." Instead try "pick up the living room," "vacuum rug" or "take out the trash"—smaller, more discrete tasks are better.
Don't let yourself get intimidated by or distracted by your to-do list. If you are spending all your time thinking of things you need to put on your list, that can be just as bad as not keeping one at all. Try to create your to-do list in one sitting and don't let yourself add to it throughout the day unless you have to.
1-2. Make a plan.
Figure out what things on your list you can reasonably accomplish, and decide what order you are going to do them in. If you can, make a schedule for the day that includes when you are going to work on each task and when you are going to stop to eat or take a break.
Be aware that tasks will often take more or less time than expected. Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't let it throw your whole plan out of whack. If something doesn't go as planned, just do your best to adjust your schedule and move on with your work.
1-3. Prioritize
Have the just way to many things on your plate to get everything done on time? Decide which things are most important and do those. You might have had big dreams of doing your taxes and washing the dog, but one or the other might have to wait. Trying to take on too much at a time is the fastest way to end up overwhelmed and unproductive.
If there are tasks you have been meaning to do for a long time and never get done, don't let them hang over your head forever. Set yourself a deadline or pick a day to do them—or else decide that you can get by okay without them.
1-4. Set goals.
Whether cleaning, studying or working, set reasonable but challenging goals for how much you are going to write, read, or create in a day. Don't let yourself quit until you've accomplished that amount. Try to be positive about your goals and don't let them intimidate you. Know that you can accomplish them if you stay focused.
Consider creating rewards or punishments for yourself around your goals. Promise to treat yourself with something you want if you are successful. Threaten yourself with an undesirable consequence, such as donating money to a cause you disagree with. This works best if you can hand over control of the reward or punishment to a friend who won't let go back on your agreements.
1-5. Be mindful
Don't get caught up thinking about how productive or unproductive you are being in the moment, but later do reflect on how well you stayed focused, how much you stuck to your plan, how accurate your schedule timing was. Note unexpected problems or disruptions to your workflow and think about what you can do to improve next time.
Consider keeping a journal to jot down what worked and what didn't work at the end of each day.
1-6. Keep your tools and materials organized.
Nothing will slow you down like not knowing where to find some vital file or object, or having to search through emails to remember the time of an appointment. Create robust systems to file information, store instruments, and record your appointments.
2. Stay Focused
2-1. Remove distractions.
We live in a world with an endless opportunity for stimulation and distraction. From TV to blogs to instant messaging, not to mention friends, family, and pets, it is so easy to spend just a minute on this and a minute on that and find the whole day lost. Don't let that happen! Keep your eyes on the prize by removing as many distractions and opportunities for distraction as possible.
Close your email and social media sites. Turn off any notifications that will interrupt your work. If you must, budget a few minutes into your day to check your inbox and updates for anything important, but having them open while you work is sure to lower your productivity.
Use browser extensions to block time-wasting websites. The Internet is full of interesting pictures, .gifs, videos and articles that will eat away at your day if you aren't mindful. Install a browser extension like StayFocusd, Leechblock or Nanny that will limit your time on distracting websites or keep you from checking them for certain periods during the day. You can also block distracting sites on your iPhone. Do whatever you can to put the temptation to check the news, browse your favorite blogs or watch cat videos out of reach.
Turn off your phone. Don't answer calls, don't check text messages, nothing. Don't keep it near you. If it is important, whoever is calling will leave a message. If you are worried about emergencies, set aside one minute to check your phone every hour.
Tell friends and family not to interrupt you. Keep your pets out of the room if they are going to be a problem.
Use background noise to block out annoying noises and distractions. Constant background noise such as white, pink or brown noise but also natural noises such as the sound of rain or a river can help you to stay focused and boost your productivity. Use tools like Noisli.
Turn off the TV or radio. Depending on you and the nature of your task, a little background noise might by fine—especially music without lyrics—but any kind of media on around you will usually lower your productivity if your task requires mental focus.
2-2. Tackle one thing at a time.
It's a common misconception that multitasking can make you more productive. The truth is we can only really do one thing at a time, and when we try to multitask we are just switching back and forth between different projects. Every time you make that switch, you lose time and focus. To be truly productive, pick one task and work on it until completion, then move on to something else.
2-3. Keep your home or workspace tidy.
Yes, cleaning up all the time takes time and effort, but a big mess can be distracting and you may end up losing more productivity than you saved. Keep your desk, house or workspace neat and organized, without clutter and with a minimum of loose objects to catch your eye.
3. Take Care of Yourself
3-1. Go to bed early and get enough sleep.
Being tired or sleep-deprived will make you more distracted and less productive.
3-2. Set your alarm, and get up as soon as it goes off.
Don't hit the snooze button over and over and end up oversleeping. Oversleeping even a few minutes can throw off your schedule and leave you out of sorts all day.
3-3. Eat healthy meals
You may not notice it at first, but if you don't keep yourself nourished you will soon find yourself more distracted, stressed and scatterbrained. You will make mistakes and have to redo your work. Make sure you set aside time in your day to have full, healthy meals.
Avoid heavy meals that are going to make you sluggish and want to nap. Digestion takes energy, and processing a large, greasy meal will sap your strength and focus.
3-4. Take breaks
Don't exhaust yourself or force yourself to stare at the screen until you are a zombie. Every 15 minutes or so take 30 seconds to stretch and rest your eyes a bit. Every couple hours take five or ten minutes to do some exercise, have a snack and replenish your resolve.
Tips
Prioritize. If one task is more important than another, do it first! It also helps to finish difficult tasks before the easy ones.
If you have a lot to do, set aside a day that you don't have any plans and make it a productive day!
Don't let yourself become overwhelmed with the amount of work. Take short breaks to calm down and break huge tasks into smaller ones if you feel you need to. Get up early, have a nice breakfast and relax.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be Organized\\n1-1. Make a to-do list.\\nWrite down all of your tasks, as well as everything you would like to accomplish for the day/week or keep a running list of tasks that you need to get done. To-do lists are tried-and-true productivity tools, but they only work if you use them correctly.\\nBe as concrete, specific and reasonable about your tasks as possible. For example, don't just write \\\"clean the house.\\\" Instead try \\\"pick up the living room,\\\" \\\"vacuum rug\\\" or \\\"take out the trash\\\"—smaller, more discrete tasks are better.\\nDon't let yourself get intimidated by or distracted by your to-do list. If you are spending all your time thinking of things you need to put on your list, that can be just as bad as not keeping one at all. Try to create your to-do list in one sitting and don't let yourself add to it throughout the day unless you have to.\\n1-2. Make a plan.\\nFigure out what things on your list you can reasonably accomplish, and decide what order you are going to do them in. If you can, make a schedule for the day that includes when you are going to work on each task and when you are going to stop to eat or take a break.\\nBe aware that tasks will often take more or less time than expected. Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't let it throw your whole plan out of whack. If something doesn't go as planned, just do your best to adjust your schedule and move on with your work.\\n1-3. Prioritize\\nHave the just way to many things on your plate to get everything done on time? Decide which things are most important and do those. You might have had big dreams of doing your taxes and washing the dog, but one or the other might have to wait. Trying to take on too much at a time is the fastest way to end up overwhelmed and unproductive.\\nIf there are tasks you have been meaning to do for a long time and never get done, don't let them hang over your head forever. Set yourself a deadline or pick a day to do them—or else decide that you can get by okay without them.\\n1-4. Set goals.\\nWhether cleaning, studying or working, set reasonable but challenging goals for how much you are going to write, read, or create in a day. Don't let yourself quit until you've accomplished that amount. Try to be positive about your goals and don't let them intimidate you. Know that you can accomplish them if you stay focused.\\nConsider creating rewards or punishments for yourself around your goals. Promise to treat yourself with something you want if you are successful. Threaten yourself with an undesirable consequence, such as donating money to a cause you disagree with. This works best if you can hand over control of the reward or punishment to a friend who won't let go back on your agreements.\\n1-5. Be mindful\\nDon't get caught up thinking about how productive or unproductive you are being in the moment, but later do reflect on how well you stayed focused, how much you stuck to your plan, how accurate your schedule timing was. Note unexpected problems or disruptions to your workflow and think about what you can do to improve next time.\\nConsider keeping a journal to jot down what worked and what didn't work at the end of each day.\\n1-6. Keep your tools and materials organized.\\nNothing will slow you down like not knowing where to find some vital file or object, or having to search through emails to remember the time of an appointment. Create robust systems to file information, store instruments, and record your appointments.\\n2. Stay Focused\\n2-1. Remove distractions.\\nWe live in a world with an endless opportunity for stimulation and distraction. From TV to blogs to instant messaging, not to mention friends, family, and pets, it is so easy to spend just a minute on this and a minute on that and find the whole day lost. Don't let that happen! Keep your eyes on the prize by removing as many distractions and opportunities for distraction as possible.\\nClose your email and social media sites. Turn off any notifications that will interrupt your work. If you must, budget a few minutes into your day to check your inbox and updates for anything important, but having them open while you work is sure to lower your productivity.\\nUse browser extensions to block time-wasting websites. The Internet is full of interesting pictures, .gifs, videos and articles that will eat away at your day if you aren't mindful. Install a browser extension like StayFocusd, Leechblock or Nanny that will limit your time on distracting websites or keep you from checking them for certain periods during the day. You can also block distracting sites on your iPhone. Do whatever you can to put the temptation to check the news, browse your favorite blogs or watch cat videos out of reach.\\nTurn off your phone. Don't answer calls, don't check text messages, nothing. Don't keep it near you. If it is important, whoever is calling will leave a message. If you are worried about emergencies, set aside one minute to check your phone every hour.\\nTell friends and family not to interrupt you. Keep your pets out of the room if they are going to be a problem.\\nUse background noise to block out annoying noises and distractions. Constant background noise such as white, pink or brown noise but also natural noises such as the sound of rain or a river can help you to stay focused and boost your productivity. Use tools like Noisli.\\nTurn off the TV or radio. Depending on you and the nature of your task, a little background noise might by fine—especially music without lyrics—but any kind of media on around you will usually lower your productivity if your task requires mental focus.\\n2-2. Tackle one thing at a time.\\nIt's a common misconception that multitasking can make you more productive. The truth is we can only really do one thing at a time, and when we try to multitask we are just switching back and forth between different projects. Every time you make that switch, you lose time and focus. To be truly productive, pick one task and work on it until completion, then move on to something else.\\n2-3. Keep your home or workspace tidy.\\nYes, cleaning up all the time takes time and effort, but a big mess can be distracting and you may end up losing more productivity than you saved. Keep your desk, house or workspace neat and organized, without clutter and with a minimum of loose objects to catch your eye.\\n3. Take Care of Yourself\\n3-1. Go to bed early and get enough sleep.\\nBeing tired or sleep-deprived will make you more distracted and less productive.\\n3-2. Set your alarm, and get up as soon as it goes off.\\nDon't hit the snooze button over and over and end up oversleeping. Oversleeping even a few minutes can throw off your schedule and leave you out of sorts all day.\\n3-3. Eat healthy meals\\nYou may not notice it at first, but if you don't keep yourself nourished you will soon find yourself more distracted, stressed and scatterbrained. You will make mistakes and have to redo your work. Make sure you set aside time in your day to have full, healthy meals.\\nAvoid heavy meals that are going to make you sluggish and want to nap. Digestion takes energy, and processing a large, greasy meal will sap your strength and focus.\\n3-4. Take breaks\\nDon't exhaust yourself or force yourself to stare at the screen until you are a zombie. Every 15 minutes or so take 30 seconds to stretch and rest your eyes a bit. Every couple hours take five or ten minutes to do some exercise, have a snack and replenish your resolve.\\nTips\\nPrioritize. If one task is more important than another, do it first! It also helps to finish difficult tasks before the easy ones.\\nIf you have a lot to do, set aside a day that you don't have any plans and make it a productive day!\\nDon't let yourself become overwhelmed with the amount of work. Take short breaks to calm down and break huge tasks into smaller ones if you feel you need to. Get up early, have a nice breakfast and relax.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"We've all been there: lots of things to do, but finding ourselves distracted, floundering, procrastinating, and unable to get things done. Are you tired of wasting time? If so, then it's time for you to get productive!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be Organized\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a to-do list.\", \"描述\": \"Write down all of your tasks, as well as everything you would like to accomplish for the day/week or keep a running list of tasks that you need to get done. To-do lists are tried-and-true productivity tools, but they only work if you use them correctly.\\nBe as concrete, specific and reasonable about your tasks as possible. For example, don't just write \\\"clean the house.\\\" Instead try \\\"pick up the living room,\\\" \\\"vacuum rug\\\" or \\\"take out the trash\\\"—smaller, more discrete tasks are better.\\nDon't let yourself get intimidated by or distracted by your to-do list. If you are spending all your time thinking of things you need to put on your list, that can be just as bad as not keeping one at all. Try to create your to-do list in one sitting and don't let yourself add to it throughout the day unless you have to.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a plan.\", \"描述\": \"Figure out what things on your list you can reasonably accomplish, and decide what order you are going to do them in. If you can, make a schedule for the day that includes when you are going to work on each task and when you are going to stop to eat or take a break.\\nBe aware that tasks will often take more or less time than expected. Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't let it throw your whole plan out of whack. If something doesn't go as planned, just do your best to adjust your schedule and move on with your work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Prioritize\", \"描述\": \"Have the just way to many things on your plate to get everything done on time? Decide which things are most important and do those. You might have had big dreams of doing your taxes and washing the dog, but one or the other might have to wait. Trying to take on too much at a time is the fastest way to end up overwhelmed and unproductive.\\nIf there are tasks you have been meaning to do for a long time and never get done, don't let them hang over your head forever. Set yourself a deadline or pick a day to do them—or else decide that you can get by okay without them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set goals.\", \"描述\": \"Whether cleaning, studying or working, set reasonable but challenging goals for how much you are going to write, read, or create in a day. Don't let yourself quit until you've accomplished that amount. Try to be positive about your goals and don't let them intimidate you. Know that you can accomplish them if you stay focused.\\nConsider creating rewards or punishments for yourself around your goals. Promise to treat yourself with something you want if you are successful. Threaten yourself with an undesirable consequence, such as donating money to a cause you disagree with. This works best if you can hand over control of the reward or punishment to a friend who won't let go back on your agreements.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be mindful\", \"描述\": \"Don't get caught up thinking about how productive or unproductive you are being in the moment, but later do reflect on how well you stayed focused, how much you stuck to your plan, how accurate your schedule timing was. Note unexpected problems or disruptions to your workflow and think about what you can do to improve next time.\\nConsider keeping a journal to jot down what worked and what didn't work at the end of each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep your tools and materials organized.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing will slow you down like not knowing where to find some vital file or object, or having to search through emails to remember the time of an appointment. Create robust systems to file information, store instruments, and record your appointments.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay Focused\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remove distractions.\", \"描述\": \"We live in a world with an endless opportunity for stimulation and distraction. From TV to blogs to instant messaging, not to mention friends, family, and pets, it is so easy to spend just a minute on this and a minute on that and find the whole day lost. Don't let that happen! Keep your eyes on the prize by removing as many distractions and opportunities for distraction as possible.\\nClose your email and social media sites. Turn off any notifications that will interrupt your work. If you must, budget a few minutes into your day to check your inbox and updates for anything important, but having them open while you work is sure to lower your productivity.\\nUse browser extensions to block time-wasting websites. The Internet is full of interesting pictures, .gifs, videos and articles that will eat away at your day if you aren't mindful. Install a browser extension like StayFocusd, Leechblock or Nanny that will limit your time on distracting websites or keep you from checking them for certain periods during the day. You can also block distracting sites on your iPhone. Do whatever you can to put the temptation to check the news, browse your favorite blogs or watch cat videos out of reach.\\nTurn off your phone. Don't answer calls, don't check text messages, nothing. Don't keep it near you. If it is important, whoever is calling will leave a message. If you are worried about emergencies, set aside one minute to check your phone every hour.\\nTell friends and family not to interrupt you. Keep your pets out of the room if they are going to be a problem.\\nUse background noise to block out annoying noises and distractions. Constant background noise such as white, pink or brown noise but also natural noises such as the sound of rain or a river can help you to stay focused and boost your productivity. Use tools like Noisli.\\nTurn off the TV or radio. Depending on you and the nature of your task, a little background noise might by fine—especially music without lyrics—but any kind of media on around you will usually lower your productivity if your task requires mental focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tackle one thing at a time.\", \"描述\": \"It's a common misconception that multitasking can make you more productive. The truth is we can only really do one thing at a time, and when we try to multitask we are just switching back and forth between different projects. Every time you make that switch, you lose time and focus. To be truly productive, pick one task and work on it until completion, then move on to something else.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your home or workspace tidy.\", \"描述\": \"Yes, cleaning up all the time takes time and effort, but a big mess can be distracting and you may end up losing more productivity than you saved. Keep your desk, house or workspace neat and organized, without clutter and with a minimum of loose objects to catch your eye.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take Care of Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to bed early and get enough sleep.\", \"描述\": \"Being tired or sleep-deprived will make you more distracted and less productive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set your alarm, and get up as soon as it goes off.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hit the snooze button over and over and end up oversleeping. Oversleeping even a few minutes can throw off your schedule and leave you out of sorts all day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat healthy meals\", \"描述\": \"You may not notice it at first, but if you don't keep yourself nourished you will soon find yourself more distracted, stressed and scatterbrained. You will make mistakes and have to redo your work. Make sure you set aside time in your day to have full, healthy meals.\\nAvoid heavy meals that are going to make you sluggish and want to nap. Digestion takes energy, and processing a large, greasy meal will sap your strength and focus.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take breaks\", \"描述\": \"Don't exhaust yourself or force yourself to stare at the screen until you are a zombie. Every 15 minutes or so take 30 seconds to stretch and rest your eyes a bit. Every couple hours take five or ten minutes to do some exercise, have a snack and replenish your resolve.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Prioritize. If one task is more important than another, do it first! It also helps to finish difficult tasks before the easy ones.\\n\", \"If you have a lot to do, set aside a day that you don't have any plans and make it a productive day!\\n\", \"Don't let yourself become overwhelmed with the amount of work. Take short breaks to calm down and break huge tasks into smaller ones if you feel you need to. Get up early, have a nice breakfast and relax.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,067 | How to Be Productive After School | 1. Motivating Yourself to Be Productive
1-1. Set rewards for yourself.
Whether it's a video game, 30 minutes on social media, or a candy bar, find something that you really want to do. Make an agreement with your family that you will only receive the reward if you complete a certain number of tasks after school every day. This way, you'll have a reason to get things done as soon as you get home.
You don't necessarily need to arrange rewards with your family in order to motivate yourself to be productive. If you can be disciplined, you can be in charge of rewarding yourself after you've gotten a few things done.
Ask your parents if there are any incentives that they can think of to give you for being consistently productive after school.
1-2. Perform some simple stretches to activate your body.
Stretching will get the blood flowing and make it easier to get started on your first task. Stand up and stretch your back by tilting backwards with your hands on your hips. Use your toes to lift your ankles 3–5 inches (7.6–12.7 cm) off of the floor to stretch your hamstrings. Then, keep your legs straight as you bend over to touch your toes. Stretch your upper body by pulling back on your palms as they point away from you. Bend your elbow behind your upper back and push on your triceps to stretch your arms.
Jumping jacks, yoga, and jump rope are all good physical activities that can be used instead of stretching.
Stretch for at least 5 minutes before moving on to your next task. This will help get your body in the habit of moving before
1-3. Eat a healthy snack when you get home.
Your body is going to need a little energy after you get home from a long day at school. Have a healthy snack, like an apple or bowl of oatmeal when you get home. Fueling your body will give you an energy boost and make it easier to get started.
Don't sit down for a full meal. Your body will get tired immediately after eating a full meal as it spends energy trying to digest the food.
1-4. Announce your plans to be productive to the members of your family.
You're more likely to be productive if other people know about your goals to get your work done. Tell your family members that you are actively going to be productive after school every day. This way, you'll know that you need to get to work when you get home in order to avoid letting your parents down.
1-5. Write a positive note of encouragement and post it in your home.
A simple message like “stay busy!” or “getting stuff done feels good” can be written on a post-it note or piece of paper. Hang the paper up in a visible area in your home to give yourself a visual reminder about maintaining a positive mindset while getting your work done.
Remind yourself why you want to be productive and think about how good it will feel when you're done with your homework and chores. The satisfaction of getting a lot done is a strong motivator when it comes to getting yourself moving.
2. Organizing and Planning
2-1. Make a list of what you want to get done after school.
Compose a to-do list before you get home with 3-6 tasks that you want to complete. Arrange it so that your list is ordered from most to least important. As you work, cross things off of your list. This will help you track whether you're meeting your daily productivity goals or not.
Keep your daily to-do lists in the same notebook and bring it with you to school. During lunch or on your way home, review your list from the day before to see what tasks (if any) you need to carry over from the previous day.
2-2. Start with the most important task on your list.
If your room is already clean, getting your homework done first is a good idea. If your parents are having friends over for dinner and you haven't cleaned up yet, you probably need to pick your things up first. By beginning with the most important issue, you'll ensure that you're motivated enough to complete your first task. The positive momentum from finishing your first task will carry you through your next couple of items on your list.
2-3. Schedule blocks of time to work on daily tasks like homework.
If you have certain things that you need to complete every single day, like homework or daily chores, schedule a specific time to complete them. Set a timer on your phone or alarm clock to remind you when you need to start a daily task. This will ensure that you never accidentally skip something important, and will help you develop the habit of getting stuff done every day.
Don't schedule something for a time slot when you aren't always home. For example, if you have basketball practice 2 days a week from 3:00-4:30 pm, don't schedule homework time for 3:30 pm.
3. Performing Simple Tasks
3-1. Do your homework right away when you get home.
Starting with your homework is a good way to make sure that you're using your time efficiently. Everything that you learned at school will still be fresh in your mind and it'll be easier to finish it quickly. Homework requires sitting as well, so you can have a healthy snack or glass of water while you work in order to refresh your body.
3-2. Clean your room and organize any messy areas.
It's easy to leave dirty laundry on the floor and forget about trash in your room. Cleaning your personal space is a good activity to complete after school because it requires almost no brain power to complete. If you want to give your mind a rest when you get home, start by cleaning your room.
3-3. Finish any chores that your parents have given you.
If your parents give you weekly or daily chores, you may want to get those done after school. If you leave chores for the weekend, you're only eating into your own free time. Once you're in the tempo of getting things done after school, incorporate your weekly chores into your routine.
Set a schedule where you complete certain chores on specific days of the week to avoid having to do them all at once. For example, you can do your laundry on Monday, take out the trash on Wednesday, and do the dishes on Friday.
4. Keeping Yourself from Getting Distracted
4-1. Listen to music while you're working to stay focused.
Listening to music is an excellent way to keep yourself from getting distracted. Build yourself a playlist on your phone or home computer, and throw some music on when you get started. This will prevent boredom from setting in while you're working through the mundane items on your to-do list.
Try to include uplifting and high-tempo tunes in your playlist. If you're listening to slower or softer music, you may find yourself falling asleep or getting tired while you work.
Create multiple playlists filled with different artists and genres of music to prevent yourself from listening to the same thing over and over again.
4-2. Ask your family to redirect you if you get off-task.
Enlist a family member to keep you accountable if they see you getting distracted. Try to work when they're around so that they can keep an eye on you, and don't get upset if they remind you that you're trying to be productive, since a simple reminder will help you stay focused while you work.
4-3. Take a short nap before getting started.
It may sound counterintuitive, but a nap may be the best way to be productive after school. A 15-20 minute nap can give your body a quick rest and make it easier to fight through the after-school slump. Be careful not to overdo it though; set an alarm on your phone and stick to strict time limits in order to prevent yourself for sleeping through the evening.
4-4. Deactivate notifications on your phone and avoid looking at social media.
It's hard to get anything accomplished if you're consistently staring at a screen. Turn the notifications on your apps off, and close any social media programs to avoid the temptation altogether. Consider leaving your phone in a separate room or with someone if you aren't using it for music and don't need it for the task that you're trying to complete.
Consider downloading an app that monitors and limits the amount of time that you spend on social media. Offtime, Moment, and BreakFree are all apps that will cut you off from Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat if you can't help yourself.
If you're leaving it with someone, tell them you don't want them to give you your phone back until they can see you've completed everything.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Motivating Yourself to Be Productive\\n1-1. Set rewards for yourself.\\nWhether it's a video game, 30 minutes on social media, or a candy bar, find something that you really want to do. Make an agreement with your family that you will only receive the reward if you complete a certain number of tasks after school every day. This way, you'll have a reason to get things done as soon as you get home.\\nYou don't necessarily need to arrange rewards with your family in order to motivate yourself to be productive. If you can be disciplined, you can be in charge of rewarding yourself after you've gotten a few things done.\\nAsk your parents if there are any incentives that they can think of to give you for being consistently productive after school.\\n1-2. Perform some simple stretches to activate your body.\\nStretching will get the blood flowing and make it easier to get started on your first task. Stand up and stretch your back by tilting backwards with your hands on your hips. Use your toes to lift your ankles 3–5 inches (7.6–12.7 cm) off of the floor to stretch your hamstrings. Then, keep your legs straight as you bend over to touch your toes. Stretch your upper body by pulling back on your palms as they point away from you. Bend your elbow behind your upper back and push on your triceps to stretch your arms.\\n\\nJumping jacks, yoga, and jump rope are all good physical activities that can be used instead of stretching.\\nStretch for at least 5 minutes before moving on to your next task. This will help get your body in the habit of moving before\\n1-3. Eat a healthy snack when you get home.\\nYour body is going to need a little energy after you get home from a long day at school. Have a healthy snack, like an apple or bowl of oatmeal when you get home. Fueling your body will give you an energy boost and make it easier to get started.\\nDon't sit down for a full meal. Your body will get tired immediately after eating a full meal as it spends energy trying to digest the food.\\n1-4. Announce your plans to be productive to the members of your family.\\nYou're more likely to be productive if other people know about your goals to get your work done. Tell your family members that you are actively going to be productive after school every day. This way, you'll know that you need to get to work when you get home in order to avoid letting your parents down.\\n1-5. Write a positive note of encouragement and post it in your home.\\nA simple message like “stay busy!” or “getting stuff done feels good” can be written on a post-it note or piece of paper. Hang the paper up in a visible area in your home to give yourself a visual reminder about maintaining a positive mindset while getting your work done.\\nRemind yourself why you want to be productive and think about how good it will feel when you're done with your homework and chores. The satisfaction of getting a lot done is a strong motivator when it comes to getting yourself moving.\\n2. Organizing and Planning\\n2-1. Make a list of what you want to get done after school.\\nCompose a to-do list before you get home with 3-6 tasks that you want to complete. Arrange it so that your list is ordered from most to least important. As you work, cross things off of your list. This will help you track whether you're meeting your daily productivity goals or not.\\nKeep your daily to-do lists in the same notebook and bring it with you to school. During lunch or on your way home, review your list from the day before to see what tasks (if any) you need to carry over from the previous day.\\n2-2. Start with the most important task on your list.\\nIf your room is already clean, getting your homework done first is a good idea. If your parents are having friends over for dinner and you haven't cleaned up yet, you probably need to pick your things up first. By beginning with the most important issue, you'll ensure that you're motivated enough to complete your first task. The positive momentum from finishing your first task will carry you through your next couple of items on your list.\\n2-3. Schedule blocks of time to work on daily tasks like homework.\\nIf you have certain things that you need to complete every single day, like homework or daily chores, schedule a specific time to complete them. Set a timer on your phone or alarm clock to remind you when you need to start a daily task. This will ensure that you never accidentally skip something important, and will help you develop the habit of getting stuff done every day.\\nDon't schedule something for a time slot when you aren't always home. For example, if you have basketball practice 2 days a week from 3:00-4:30 pm, don't schedule homework time for 3:30 pm.\\n3. Performing Simple Tasks\\n3-1. Do your homework right away when you get home.\\nStarting with your homework is a good way to make sure that you're using your time efficiently. Everything that you learned at school will still be fresh in your mind and it'll be easier to finish it quickly. Homework requires sitting as well, so you can have a healthy snack or glass of water while you work in order to refresh your body.\\n3-2. Clean your room and organize any messy areas.\\nIt's easy to leave dirty laundry on the floor and forget about trash in your room. Cleaning your personal space is a good activity to complete after school because it requires almost no brain power to complete. If you want to give your mind a rest when you get home, start by cleaning your room.\\n3-3. Finish any chores that your parents have given you.\\nIf your parents give you weekly or daily chores, you may want to get those done after school. If you leave chores for the weekend, you're only eating into your own free time. Once you're in the tempo of getting things done after school, incorporate your weekly chores into your routine.\\nSet a schedule where you complete certain chores on specific days of the week to avoid having to do them all at once. For example, you can do your laundry on Monday, take out the trash on Wednesday, and do the dishes on Friday.\\n4. Keeping Yourself from Getting Distracted\\n4-1. Listen to music while you're working to stay focused.\\nListening to music is an excellent way to keep yourself from getting distracted. Build yourself a playlist on your phone or home computer, and throw some music on when you get started. This will prevent boredom from setting in while you're working through the mundane items on your to-do list.\\nTry to include uplifting and high-tempo tunes in your playlist. If you're listening to slower or softer music, you may find yourself falling asleep or getting tired while you work.\\nCreate multiple playlists filled with different artists and genres of music to prevent yourself from listening to the same thing over and over again.\\n4-2. Ask your family to redirect you if you get off-task.\\nEnlist a family member to keep you accountable if they see you getting distracted. Try to work when they're around so that they can keep an eye on you, and don't get upset if they remind you that you're trying to be productive, since a simple reminder will help you stay focused while you work.\\n4-3. Take a short nap before getting started.\\nIt may sound counterintuitive, but a nap may be the best way to be productive after school. A 15-20 minute nap can give your body a quick rest and make it easier to fight through the after-school slump. Be careful not to overdo it though; set an alarm on your phone and stick to strict time limits in order to prevent yourself for sleeping through the evening.\\n4-4. Deactivate notifications on your phone and avoid looking at social media.\\nIt's hard to get anything accomplished if you're consistently staring at a screen. Turn the notifications on your apps off, and close any social media programs to avoid the temptation altogether. Consider leaving your phone in a separate room or with someone if you aren't using it for music and don't need it for the task that you're trying to complete.\\nConsider downloading an app that monitors and limits the amount of time that you spend on social media. Offtime, Moment, and BreakFree are all apps that will cut you off from Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat if you can't help yourself.\\nIf you're leaving it with someone, tell them you don't want them to give you your phone back until they can see you've completed everything.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While being productive can be challenging, there are many ways to make sure that you get a lot of things done after the school day ends. Treat your body right by eating healthy snacks and getting enough sleep. Make a to-do list and stick to any schedules that you set for yourself; you will also need to put the amount of time you want to spend doing each thing. If you're consistent and make an honest effort to get things done, you'll discover that being productive when school gets out can be a breeze!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Motivating Yourself to Be Productive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set rewards for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's a video game, 30 minutes on social media, or a candy bar, find something that you really want to do. Make an agreement with your family that you will only receive the reward if you complete a certain number of tasks after school every day. This way, you'll have a reason to get things done as soon as you get home.\\nYou don't necessarily need to arrange rewards with your family in order to motivate yourself to be productive. If you can be disciplined, you can be in charge of rewarding yourself after you've gotten a few things done.\\nAsk your parents if there are any incentives that they can think of to give you for being consistently productive after school.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Perform some simple stretches to activate your body.\", \"描述\": \"Stretching will get the blood flowing and make it easier to get started on your first task. Stand up and stretch your back by tilting backwards with your hands on your hips. Use your toes to lift your ankles 3–5 inches (7.6–12.7 cm) off of the floor to stretch your hamstrings. Then, keep your legs straight as you bend over to touch your toes. Stretch your upper body by pulling back on your palms as they point away from you. Bend your elbow behind your upper back and push on your triceps to stretch your arms.\\n\\nJumping jacks, yoga, and jump rope are all good physical activities that can be used instead of stretching.\\nStretch for at least 5 minutes before moving on to your next task. This will help get your body in the habit of moving before\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy snack when you get home.\", \"描述\": \"Your body is going to need a little energy after you get home from a long day at school. Have a healthy snack, like an apple or bowl of oatmeal when you get home. Fueling your body will give you an energy boost and make it easier to get started.\\nDon't sit down for a full meal. Your body will get tired immediately after eating a full meal as it spends energy trying to digest the food.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Announce your plans to be productive to the members of your family.\", \"描述\": \"You're more likely to be productive if other people know about your goals to get your work done. Tell your family members that you are actively going to be productive after school every day. This way, you'll know that you need to get to work when you get home in order to avoid letting your parents down.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write a positive note of encouragement and post it in your home.\", \"描述\": \"A simple message like “stay busy!” or “getting stuff done feels good” can be written on a post-it note or piece of paper. Hang the paper up in a visible area in your home to give yourself a visual reminder about maintaining a positive mindset while getting your work done.\\nRemind yourself why you want to be productive and think about how good it will feel when you're done with your homework and chores. The satisfaction of getting a lot done is a strong motivator when it comes to getting yourself moving.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Organizing and Planning\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of what you want to get done after school.\", \"描述\": \"Compose a to-do list before you get home with 3-6 tasks that you want to complete. Arrange it so that your list is ordered from most to least important. As you work, cross things off of your list. This will help you track whether you're meeting your daily productivity goals or not.\\nKeep your daily to-do lists in the same notebook and bring it with you to school. During lunch or on your way home, review your list from the day before to see what tasks (if any) you need to carry over from the previous day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Start with the most important task on your list.\", \"描述\": \"If your room is already clean, getting your homework done first is a good idea. If your parents are having friends over for dinner and you haven't cleaned up yet, you probably need to pick your things up first. By beginning with the most important issue, you'll ensure that you're motivated enough to complete your first task. The positive momentum from finishing your first task will carry you through your next couple of items on your list.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Schedule blocks of time to work on daily tasks like homework.\", \"描述\": \"If you have certain things that you need to complete every single day, like homework or daily chores, schedule a specific time to complete them. Set a timer on your phone or alarm clock to remind you when you need to start a daily task. This will ensure that you never accidentally skip something important, and will help you develop the habit of getting stuff done every day.\\nDon't schedule something for a time slot when you aren't always home. For example, if you have basketball practice 2 days a week from 3:00-4:30 pm, don't schedule homework time for 3:30 pm.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Performing Simple Tasks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your homework right away when you get home.\", \"描述\": \"Starting with your homework is a good way to make sure that you're using your time efficiently. Everything that you learned at school will still be fresh in your mind and it'll be easier to finish it quickly. Homework requires sitting as well, so you can have a healthy snack or glass of water while you work in order to refresh your body.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clean your room and organize any messy areas.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to leave dirty laundry on the floor and forget about trash in your room. Cleaning your personal space is a good activity to complete after school because it requires almost no brain power to complete. If you want to give your mind a rest when you get home, start by cleaning your room.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finish any chores that your parents have given you.\", \"描述\": \"If your parents give you weekly or daily chores, you may want to get those done after school. If you leave chores for the weekend, you're only eating into your own free time. Once you're in the tempo of getting things done after school, incorporate your weekly chores into your routine.\\nSet a schedule where you complete certain chores on specific days of the week to avoid having to do them all at once. For example, you can do your laundry on Monday, take out the trash on Wednesday, and do the dishes on Friday.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keeping Yourself from Getting Distracted\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to music while you're working to stay focused.\", \"描述\": \"Listening to music is an excellent way to keep yourself from getting distracted. Build yourself a playlist on your phone or home computer, and throw some music on when you get started. This will prevent boredom from setting in while you're working through the mundane items on your to-do list.\\nTry to include uplifting and high-tempo tunes in your playlist. If you're listening to slower or softer music, you may find yourself falling asleep or getting tired while you work.\\nCreate multiple playlists filled with different artists and genres of music to prevent yourself from listening to the same thing over and over again.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask your family to redirect you if you get off-task.\", \"描述\": \"Enlist a family member to keep you accountable if they see you getting distracted. Try to work when they're around so that they can keep an eye on you, and don't get upset if they remind you that you're trying to be productive, since a simple reminder will help you stay focused while you work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a short nap before getting started.\", \"描述\": \"It may sound counterintuitive, but a nap may be the best way to be productive after school. A 15-20 minute nap can give your body a quick rest and make it easier to fight through the after-school slump. Be careful not to overdo it though; set an alarm on your phone and stick to strict time limits in order to prevent yourself for sleeping through the evening.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Deactivate notifications on your phone and avoid looking at social media.\", \"描述\": \"It's hard to get anything accomplished if you're consistently staring at a screen. Turn the notifications on your apps off, and close any social media programs to avoid the temptation altogether. Consider leaving your phone in a separate room or with someone if you aren't using it for music and don't need it for the task that you're trying to complete.\\nConsider downloading an app that monitors and limits the amount of time that you spend on social media. Offtime, Moment, and BreakFree are all apps that will cut you off from Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat if you can't help yourself.\\nIf you're leaving it with someone, tell them you don't want them to give you your phone back until they can see you've completed everything.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,068 | How to Be Productive at Work when You're Depressed | 1. Making Tasks Easier
1-1. De-clutter your mind.
When your mind is buzzing with all the different things you need to do in a day, it's harder to get things done. To help you focus, take the time to write or type out a physical list for the day. That way, you're not trying to keep them all in your head at once. Plus a list can help you see just how much you've done in a day, which can motivate you.
1-2. Break work into smaller chunks.
When you're depressed, even small tasks can seem monumental; therefore, it's best to try to view tasks in smaller chunks, so that you can accomplish things piece by piece. Instead of thinking, "I need to send 500 emails today," think "I have one email to send in the next five minutes. I can do that."
Making tasks smaller makes it seem easier to do them.
If it doesn't seem to be working, try even smaller chunks. You could say, "I just need to get through this one sentence. That's it."
1-3. Skip the pressure to begin.
Sometimes, trying to figure out how to begin a task is the hardest part. Maybe you can't find the words you need to start a report, for instance. The key is to just start somewhere. You don't have to start at the "beginning." You just need to get started.
Once you have some work done, you'll find it easier to go back and work through the beginning.
Also, you won't be paralyzed with indecision about how to "start."
1-4. Make yourself work for five minutes straight.
It can be tempting to give in to procrastination when you're feeling depressed. You have a tendency to get distracted, for instance, or you have a desire to get up and do something else; however, just promising yourself you'll work for a set amount of time can help get you started.
Cut out distractions. Don't go anywhere else on the internet than what you need for work. Don't go talk to a friend. Just sit down and pay attention only to your work.
Remind yourself you can't do anything else. Even if you don't work, don't allow yourself to do something more interesting.
If you're in a more active job, try to cut distractions like talking to co-workers and just focus on the task at hand.
Set a timer if you need to. Set it for five minutes, then give yourself a short break and start again.
1-5. Try a reward system.
A reward system can be as simple as, "If I get this task done, I'll get a cup of coffee." You could also try, "If I get this task done, I'll go talk to my friend for five minutes." Only give yourself the reward if you actually get it done.
Another reward could be a task you enjoy more. Maybe you hate sending emails but enjoy interviewing customers. Try the task you hate first, and reward yourself with the more enjoyable task.
You can also set rewards for the day, such as, "If I get this list accomplished, I'll get Thai food tonight."
Make sure you don't make your tasks unattainable. You should be able to accomplish them if you get down to work.
1-6. Take advantage of your better days.
That is, when you're having an up day, try to be as productive as possible. That way, when you have down days, you can maybe take a little break. You'll still need to work obviously, but maybe you won't have to work quite as hard.
1-7. Just get there.
Part of treating depression is trying to be more active. If your job is more active, obviously you won't feel like doing it. When you can, force yourself to go, as just being more active and being around people can help. When you can't cope at all, take a sick day if possible.
Doing well at work can also help you feel better about yourself.
1-8. Work on saying "no.
It can be hard to say "no" at work to new projects and commitments; however, if you're overextended, due in part to your depression, you can calmly tell your boss that, or speak to someone in human resources. Some bosses will not understand, of course, but it's worth a shot for your mental health. Plus, some bosses may not even realize they're giving you too much to do, even when you are feeling better mentally.
2. Managing Apathy and Lethargy
2-1. Identify feelings of apathy and lethargy.
Apathy and lethargy are commonly experienced by people who are depressed and they can make it extremely difficult to feel motivated to do things, from seeking help to going to work to simply getting out of bed in the morning. Apathy is an actual lack of emotion — it means you feel nothing. It has been shown that you must have a feeling about something in order to be motivated to change it, so feeling apathetic makes it extremely difficult to change your situation. You might know that your lack of productivity at work might get you in trouble or even fired, but you simply can't make yourself care enough to actually do anything about it. Lethargy is a feeling of fatigue, which can make it even harder to work up the motivation to do things, even when you know you must.
Apathy may cause you to feel like happiness, fulfillment, or the ability to reach your goals are impossible. You may feel bored, worn out, and like there is nothing to look forward to.
If you notice feelings of apathy or lethargy as part of your depression, you will need to learn to manage and overcome them to be productive at work.
2-2. Change your mindset.
The challenge with apathy and lethargy is that you don't feel like doing anything. So, while there may be many things you can do to relieve those feelings, you can't get yourself motivated to actually do them. Overcoming these feelings begins with changing your mindset so you get to a place where you can begin to take action.
Start challenging your apathy. Recall the times in the past when you felt happy, motivated, and enthusiastic. What were you doing? Who were you with? Try to do something as small as text someone who always makes you laugh, or do a crossword puzzle if that's something you used to enjoy. Start small.
Ask yourself what you can do right now to move forward, even a tiny bit. Maybe you know you should see a doctor, but your lethargy and apathy are making it seem impossible. Try simply doing an online search of doctors in your area. You don't need to call or make an appointment today — just take that first, small step.
Identify the things you cannot change. Perhaps you feel apathetic because there are some things about your situation you simply cannot change right now. Work on accepting those things and focusing on what you can change.
Manage your expectations. Setting your expectations too high and asking too much of yourself sets you up for failure and can make you feel worse about yourself. It's okay to adjust your expectations throughout the day — even multiple times. If you start to feel overwhelmed, check in with yourself and consider that your current expectations may be too high.
2-3. Address lethargy by eating well.
Depression may cause you to lose your appetite or turn to unhealthy comfort foods, which can drain your energy and leave you tired and fatigued. Try setting an alarm to go off ever two to three hours and make yourself eat a healthy snack containing protein and complex carbs. These foods can give you energy. Try eggs, yogurt, meat, raw greens, and nuts.
Avoid sugar, which can give you a quick burst of energy but ultimately cause you to crash. It may also cause you to feel irritable.
2-4. Be kind to yourself.
Getting down on yourself for your feelings of depression, apathy, and/or lethargy will only make you feel worse and isn't constructive in any way. Putting yourself down and calling yourself "lazy" won't do anything to motivate you to do more work. Take steps to end negative self-talk by first becoming aware that you are doing it. Ask yourself — What am I saying to myself? What messages am I sending? Would I say this to a friend?
Try apologizing to yourself when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Say something like, "I didn't deserve that. I'm not lazy — I'm depressed, and there is a difference. I am doing the best I can right now."
2-5. Check in with your doctor.
If you're continuing to feel apathetic and lethargic, you should talk to your doctor. There's no shame in getting medical help to improve your mental health. If your depression is affecting your work, it may be time to think about an antidepressant. If you are already taking an antidepressant, you may need to have your medication adjusted, either by upping the dose of your current medication or switching to a different one.”
3. Encouraging Good Mental Health at Work
3-1. Make time for breaks.
It may make you feel more productive to push through to the end of a task, but getting some space from it can actually help. Taking a break can assist with mental clarity, as well as boost your mood and memory.
Try to take breaks regularly throughout the day, and you'll likely notice an increase in your productivity.
3-2. Try a deep breathing technique.
Another way to calm yourself is to use deep breathing techniques. Deep breathing just means taking a moment for yourself to relax and focus on your breathing, sort of a mini-meditation. All you need to do is close your eyes (if you can) and focus on your breathing.
Try breathing in for four counts, holding for four counts, breathing out for four counts, and holding for four counts. Repeat a couple of times until you feel yourself calming down.
3-3. Increase the light.
Make sure you're getting enough natural sunlight during the day. Being stuck inside, especially during the winter months, can mean you're not getting enough sunlight. Sunlight helps your body produce vitamin D, which can boost your mood. Try to spend a few minutes outside on your breaks. You can also open your blinds or go stand by a window on your breaks.
3-4. Work some exercise in
Exercise is a natural mood booster — in fact, it may be as effective in treating depression as some antidepressants — so if you can work some exercise into your day, you can help increase your productivity. Try adding some small exercise routines that you can do around your workspace or during your breaks.
For instance, take a short walk around the office or outside the building on your lunch break.
Try doing a few jumping jacks when there are no customers around.
When you feel yourself getting tired, try standing up and jogging in place for a few minutes.
If you already have an active job that makes you move around, that's all the better.
3-5. Vent if you can.
If you are experiencing anxiety in addition to depression, it may help to find someone you can vent to. Of course, it must be someone you trust implicitly, so you know they won't go behind your back and use the information against you. Nonetheless, having someone to talk to at work can help keep your stress levels down.
If you don't trust someone enough at work, find a friend outside of work. It won't be quite the same (since they don't know who's involved), but they can still listen.
4. Creating a Calming Space
4-1. De-clutter your workspace.
Clutter is a nuisance because it makes it harder for you to work. In addition, it can also contribute to your depression. On your good days, try to keep your work area uncluttered so that on your bad days, having too much stuff around won't bring you down even further.
4-2. Listen to calming music.
If you're depressed, you may also be feeling some anxiety about not being able to get your work done. That anxiety isn't going to help the situation. Try keeping yourself calm by listening to some music that soothes you, if your boss allows it. Of course, put in some headphones so you don't disturb your neighbors, particularly if you are in a cubicle or out in the open.
4-3. Try adding some blue.
Blue can be a calming color, keeping you relaxed. It can also help increase your productivity. Try adding some splashes of blue to your desk or work space or changing your computer background to a predominantly blue picture.
If you can't change much, try adding a touch of color, such as a tiny stuffed animal or sticker where customers can't see it.
4-4. Add visuals that make you happy.
If you can, add some pictures or art to your workspace that make you feel happier. Put up pictures of your kids if that's your thing, or have a desk calendar with cat pictures. You could also put up prints of artwork you enjoy.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Tasks Easier\\n1-1. De-clutter your mind.\\nWhen your mind is buzzing with all the different things you need to do in a day, it's harder to get things done. To help you focus, take the time to write or type out a physical list for the day. That way, you're not trying to keep them all in your head at once. Plus a list can help you see just how much you've done in a day, which can motivate you.\\n1-2. Break work into smaller chunks.\\nWhen you're depressed, even small tasks can seem monumental; therefore, it's best to try to view tasks in smaller chunks, so that you can accomplish things piece by piece. Instead of thinking, \\\"I need to send 500 emails today,\\\" think \\\"I have one email to send in the next five minutes. I can do that.\\\"\\nMaking tasks smaller makes it seem easier to do them.\\nIf it doesn't seem to be working, try even smaller chunks. You could say, \\\"I just need to get through this one sentence. That's it.\\\"\\n1-3. Skip the pressure to begin.\\nSometimes, trying to figure out how to begin a task is the hardest part. Maybe you can't find the words you need to start a report, for instance. The key is to just start somewhere. You don't have to start at the \\\"beginning.\\\" You just need to get started.\\nOnce you have some work done, you'll find it easier to go back and work through the beginning.\\nAlso, you won't be paralyzed with indecision about how to \\\"start.\\\"\\n1-4. Make yourself work for five minutes straight.\\nIt can be tempting to give in to procrastination when you're feeling depressed. You have a tendency to get distracted, for instance, or you have a desire to get up and do something else; however, just promising yourself you'll work for a set amount of time can help get you started.\\nCut out distractions. Don't go anywhere else on the internet than what you need for work. Don't go talk to a friend. Just sit down and pay attention only to your work.\\nRemind yourself you can't do anything else. Even if you don't work, don't allow yourself to do something more interesting.\\nIf you're in a more active job, try to cut distractions like talking to co-workers and just focus on the task at hand.\\nSet a timer if you need to. Set it for five minutes, then give yourself a short break and start again.\\n1-5. Try a reward system.\\nA reward system can be as simple as, \\\"If I get this task done, I'll get a cup of coffee.\\\" You could also try, \\\"If I get this task done, I'll go talk to my friend for five minutes.\\\" Only give yourself the reward if you actually get it done.\\nAnother reward could be a task you enjoy more. Maybe you hate sending emails but enjoy interviewing customers. Try the task you hate first, and reward yourself with the more enjoyable task.\\nYou can also set rewards for the day, such as, \\\"If I get this list accomplished, I'll get Thai food tonight.\\\"\\nMake sure you don't make your tasks unattainable. You should be able to accomplish them if you get down to work.\\n1-6. Take advantage of your better days.\\nThat is, when you're having an up day, try to be as productive as possible. That way, when you have down days, you can maybe take a little break. You'll still need to work obviously, but maybe you won't have to work quite as hard.\\n1-7. Just get there.\\nPart of treating depression is trying to be more active. If your job is more active, obviously you won't feel like doing it. When you can, force yourself to go, as just being more active and being around people can help. When you can't cope at all, take a sick day if possible. \\nDoing well at work can also help you feel better about yourself.\\n1-8. Work on saying \\\"no.\\nIt can be hard to say \\\"no\\\" at work to new projects and commitments; however, if you're overextended, due in part to your depression, you can calmly tell your boss that, or speak to someone in human resources. Some bosses will not understand, of course, but it's worth a shot for your mental health. Plus, some bosses may not even realize they're giving you too much to do, even when you are feeling better mentally.\\n2. Managing Apathy and Lethargy\\n2-1. Identify feelings of apathy and lethargy.\\nApathy and lethargy are commonly experienced by people who are depressed and they can make it extremely difficult to feel motivated to do things, from seeking help to going to work to simply getting out of bed in the morning. Apathy is an actual lack of emotion — it means you feel nothing. It has been shown that you must have a feeling about something in order to be motivated to change it, so feeling apathetic makes it extremely difficult to change your situation. You might know that your lack of productivity at work might get you in trouble or even fired, but you simply can't make yourself care enough to actually do anything about it. Lethargy is a feeling of fatigue, which can make it even harder to work up the motivation to do things, even when you know you must.\\nApathy may cause you to feel like happiness, fulfillment, or the ability to reach your goals are impossible. You may feel bored, worn out, and like there is nothing to look forward to.\\nIf you notice feelings of apathy or lethargy as part of your depression, you will need to learn to manage and overcome them to be productive at work.\\n2-2. Change your mindset.\\nThe challenge with apathy and lethargy is that you don't feel like doing anything. So, while there may be many things you can do to relieve those feelings, you can't get yourself motivated to actually do them. Overcoming these feelings begins with changing your mindset so you get to a place where you can begin to take action. \\nStart challenging your apathy. Recall the times in the past when you felt happy, motivated, and enthusiastic. What were you doing? Who were you with? Try to do something as small as text someone who always makes you laugh, or do a crossword puzzle if that's something you used to enjoy. Start small.\\nAsk yourself what you can do right now to move forward, even a tiny bit. Maybe you know you should see a doctor, but your lethargy and apathy are making it seem impossible. Try simply doing an online search of doctors in your area. You don't need to call or make an appointment today — just take that first, small step.\\nIdentify the things you cannot change. Perhaps you feel apathetic because there are some things about your situation you simply cannot change right now. Work on accepting those things and focusing on what you can change.\\nManage your expectations. Setting your expectations too high and asking too much of yourself sets you up for failure and can make you feel worse about yourself. It's okay to adjust your expectations throughout the day — even multiple times. If you start to feel overwhelmed, check in with yourself and consider that your current expectations may be too high.\\n2-3. Address lethargy by eating well.\\nDepression may cause you to lose your appetite or turn to unhealthy comfort foods, which can drain your energy and leave you tired and fatigued. Try setting an alarm to go off ever two to three hours and make yourself eat a healthy snack containing protein and complex carbs. These foods can give you energy. Try eggs, yogurt, meat, raw greens, and nuts.\\nAvoid sugar, which can give you a quick burst of energy but ultimately cause you to crash. It may also cause you to feel irritable.\\n2-4. Be kind to yourself.\\nGetting down on yourself for your feelings of depression, apathy, and/or lethargy will only make you feel worse and isn't constructive in any way. Putting yourself down and calling yourself \\\"lazy\\\" won't do anything to motivate you to do more work. Take steps to end negative self-talk by first becoming aware that you are doing it. Ask yourself — What am I saying to myself? What messages am I sending? Would I say this to a friend?\\nTry apologizing to yourself when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Say something like, \\\"I didn't deserve that. I'm not lazy — I'm depressed, and there is a difference. I am doing the best I can right now.\\\"\\n2-5. Check in with your doctor.\\nIf you're continuing to feel apathetic and lethargic, you should talk to your doctor. There's no shame in getting medical help to improve your mental health. If your depression is affecting your work, it may be time to think about an antidepressant. If you are already taking an antidepressant, you may need to have your medication adjusted, either by upping the dose of your current medication or switching to a different one.”\\n3. Encouraging Good Mental Health at Work\\n3-1. Make time for breaks.\\nIt may make you feel more productive to push through to the end of a task, but getting some space from it can actually help. Taking a break can assist with mental clarity, as well as boost your mood and memory.\\nTry to take breaks regularly throughout the day, and you'll likely notice an increase in your productivity.\\n3-2. Try a deep breathing technique.\\nAnother way to calm yourself is to use deep breathing techniques. Deep breathing just means taking a moment for yourself to relax and focus on your breathing, sort of a mini-meditation. All you need to do is close your eyes (if you can) and focus on your breathing.\\nTry breathing in for four counts, holding for four counts, breathing out for four counts, and holding for four counts. Repeat a couple of times until you feel yourself calming down.\\n3-3. Increase the light.\\nMake sure you're getting enough natural sunlight during the day. Being stuck inside, especially during the winter months, can mean you're not getting enough sunlight. Sunlight helps your body produce vitamin D, which can boost your mood. Try to spend a few minutes outside on your breaks. You can also open your blinds or go stand by a window on your breaks.\\n3-4. Work some exercise in\\nExercise is a natural mood booster — in fact, it may be as effective in treating depression as some antidepressants — so if you can work some exercise into your day, you can help increase your productivity. Try adding some small exercise routines that you can do around your workspace or during your breaks.\\nFor instance, take a short walk around the office or outside the building on your lunch break.\\nTry doing a few jumping jacks when there are no customers around.\\nWhen you feel yourself getting tired, try standing up and jogging in place for a few minutes.\\nIf you already have an active job that makes you move around, that's all the better.\\n3-5. Vent if you can.\\nIf you are experiencing anxiety in addition to depression, it may help to find someone you can vent to. Of course, it must be someone you trust implicitly, so you know they won't go behind your back and use the information against you. Nonetheless, having someone to talk to at work can help keep your stress levels down.\\nIf you don't trust someone enough at work, find a friend outside of work. It won't be quite the same (since they don't know who's involved), but they can still listen.\\n4. Creating a Calming Space\\n4-1. De-clutter your workspace.\\nClutter is a nuisance because it makes it harder for you to work. In addition, it can also contribute to your depression. On your good days, try to keep your work area uncluttered so that on your bad days, having too much stuff around won't bring you down even further.\\n4-2. Listen to calming music.\\nIf you're depressed, you may also be feeling some anxiety about not being able to get your work done. That anxiety isn't going to help the situation. Try keeping yourself calm by listening to some music that soothes you, if your boss allows it. Of course, put in some headphones so you don't disturb your neighbors, particularly if you are in a cubicle or out in the open.\\n4-3. Try adding some blue.\\nBlue can be a calming color, keeping you relaxed. It can also help increase your productivity. Try adding some splashes of blue to your desk or work space or changing your computer background to a predominantly blue picture.\\nIf you can't change much, try adding a touch of color, such as a tiny stuffed animal or sticker where customers can't see it.\\n4-4. Add visuals that make you happy.\\nIf you can, add some pictures or art to your workspace that make you feel happier. Put up pictures of your kids if that's your thing, or have a desk calendar with cat pictures. You could also put up prints of artwork you enjoy.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you're feeling down because of depression, you may not want to do much of anything; however, you still need to hold down your job, right? The key to working when you are depressed is to be kind to yourself while treating your depression. Try making your tasks a bit easier by making them more manageable. You can also work on your mental health while you're at work, by doing things like taking breaks and creating a happy, calming environment.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Tasks Easier\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"De-clutter your mind.\", \"描述\": \"When your mind is buzzing with all the different things you need to do in a day, it's harder to get things done. To help you focus, take the time to write or type out a physical list for the day. That way, you're not trying to keep them all in your head at once. Plus a list can help you see just how much you've done in a day, which can motivate you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Break work into smaller chunks.\", \"描述\": \"When you're depressed, even small tasks can seem monumental; therefore, it's best to try to view tasks in smaller chunks, so that you can accomplish things piece by piece. Instead of thinking, \\\"I need to send 500 emails today,\\\" think \\\"I have one email to send in the next five minutes. I can do that.\\\"\\nMaking tasks smaller makes it seem easier to do them.\\nIf it doesn't seem to be working, try even smaller chunks. You could say, \\\"I just need to get through this one sentence. That's it.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Skip the pressure to begin.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, trying to figure out how to begin a task is the hardest part. Maybe you can't find the words you need to start a report, for instance. The key is to just start somewhere. You don't have to start at the \\\"beginning.\\\" You just need to get started.\\nOnce you have some work done, you'll find it easier to go back and work through the beginning.\\nAlso, you won't be paralyzed with indecision about how to \\\"start.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make yourself work for five minutes straight.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tempting to give in to procrastination when you're feeling depressed. You have a tendency to get distracted, for instance, or you have a desire to get up and do something else; however, just promising yourself you'll work for a set amount of time can help get you started.\\nCut out distractions. Don't go anywhere else on the internet than what you need for work. Don't go talk to a friend. Just sit down and pay attention only to your work.\\nRemind yourself you can't do anything else. Even if you don't work, don't allow yourself to do something more interesting.\\nIf you're in a more active job, try to cut distractions like talking to co-workers and just focus on the task at hand.\\nSet a timer if you need to. Set it for five minutes, then give yourself a short break and start again.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try a reward system.\", \"描述\": \"A reward system can be as simple as, \\\"If I get this task done, I'll get a cup of coffee.\\\" You could also try, \\\"If I get this task done, I'll go talk to my friend for five minutes.\\\" Only give yourself the reward if you actually get it done.\\nAnother reward could be a task you enjoy more. Maybe you hate sending emails but enjoy interviewing customers. Try the task you hate first, and reward yourself with the more enjoyable task.\\nYou can also set rewards for the day, such as, \\\"If I get this list accomplished, I'll get Thai food tonight.\\\"\\nMake sure you don't make your tasks unattainable. You should be able to accomplish them if you get down to work.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take advantage of your better days.\", \"描述\": \"That is, when you're having an up day, try to be as productive as possible. That way, when you have down days, you can maybe take a little break. You'll still need to work obviously, but maybe you won't have to work quite as hard.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Just get there.\", \"描述\": \"Part of treating depression is trying to be more active. If your job is more active, obviously you won't feel like doing it. When you can, force yourself to go, as just being more active and being around people can help. When you can't cope at all, take a sick day if possible. \\nDoing well at work can also help you feel better about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Work on saying \\\"no.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to say \\\"no\\\" at work to new projects and commitments; however, if you're overextended, due in part to your depression, you can calmly tell your boss that, or speak to someone in human resources. Some bosses will not understand, of course, but it's worth a shot for your mental health. Plus, some bosses may not even realize they're giving you too much to do, even when you are feeling better mentally.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Managing Apathy and Lethargy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify feelings of apathy and lethargy.\", \"描述\": \"Apathy and lethargy are commonly experienced by people who are depressed and they can make it extremely difficult to feel motivated to do things, from seeking help to going to work to simply getting out of bed in the morning. Apathy is an actual lack of emotion — it means you feel nothing. It has been shown that you must have a feeling about something in order to be motivated to change it, so feeling apathetic makes it extremely difficult to change your situation. You might know that your lack of productivity at work might get you in trouble or even fired, but you simply can't make yourself care enough to actually do anything about it. Lethargy is a feeling of fatigue, which can make it even harder to work up the motivation to do things, even when you know you must.\\nApathy may cause you to feel like happiness, fulfillment, or the ability to reach your goals are impossible. You may feel bored, worn out, and like there is nothing to look forward to.\\nIf you notice feelings of apathy or lethargy as part of your depression, you will need to learn to manage and overcome them to be productive at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Change your mindset.\", \"描述\": \"The challenge with apathy and lethargy is that you don't feel like doing anything. So, while there may be many things you can do to relieve those feelings, you can't get yourself motivated to actually do them. Overcoming these feelings begins with changing your mindset so you get to a place where you can begin to take action. \\nStart challenging your apathy. Recall the times in the past when you felt happy, motivated, and enthusiastic. What were you doing? Who were you with? Try to do something as small as text someone who always makes you laugh, or do a crossword puzzle if that's something you used to enjoy. Start small.\\nAsk yourself what you can do right now to move forward, even a tiny bit. Maybe you know you should see a doctor, but your lethargy and apathy are making it seem impossible. Try simply doing an online search of doctors in your area. You don't need to call or make an appointment today — just take that first, small step.\\nIdentify the things you cannot change. Perhaps you feel apathetic because there are some things about your situation you simply cannot change right now. Work on accepting those things and focusing on what you can change.\\nManage your expectations. Setting your expectations too high and asking too much of yourself sets you up for failure and can make you feel worse about yourself. It's okay to adjust your expectations throughout the day — even multiple times. If you start to feel overwhelmed, check in with yourself and consider that your current expectations may be too high.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address lethargy by eating well.\", \"描述\": \"Depression may cause you to lose your appetite or turn to unhealthy comfort foods, which can drain your energy and leave you tired and fatigued. Try setting an alarm to go off ever two to three hours and make yourself eat a healthy snack containing protein and complex carbs. These foods can give you energy. Try eggs, yogurt, meat, raw greens, and nuts.\\nAvoid sugar, which can give you a quick burst of energy but ultimately cause you to crash. It may also cause you to feel irritable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Getting down on yourself for your feelings of depression, apathy, and/or lethargy will only make you feel worse and isn't constructive in any way. Putting yourself down and calling yourself \\\"lazy\\\" won't do anything to motivate you to do more work. Take steps to end negative self-talk by first becoming aware that you are doing it. Ask yourself — What am I saying to myself? What messages am I sending? Would I say this to a friend?\\nTry apologizing to yourself when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Say something like, \\\"I didn't deserve that. I'm not lazy — I'm depressed, and there is a difference. I am doing the best I can right now.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check in with your doctor.\", \"描述\": \"If you're continuing to feel apathetic and lethargic, you should talk to your doctor. There's no shame in getting medical help to improve your mental health. If your depression is affecting your work, it may be time to think about an antidepressant. If you are already taking an antidepressant, you may need to have your medication adjusted, either by upping the dose of your current medication or switching to a different one.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Encouraging Good Mental Health at Work\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make time for breaks.\", \"描述\": \"It may make you feel more productive to push through to the end of a task, but getting some space from it can actually help. Taking a break can assist with mental clarity, as well as boost your mood and memory.\\nTry to take breaks regularly throughout the day, and you'll likely notice an increase in your productivity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try a deep breathing technique.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to calm yourself is to use deep breathing techniques. Deep breathing just means taking a moment for yourself to relax and focus on your breathing, sort of a mini-meditation. All you need to do is close your eyes (if you can) and focus on your breathing.\\nTry breathing in for four counts, holding for four counts, breathing out for four counts, and holding for four counts. Repeat a couple of times until you feel yourself calming down.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Increase the light.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you're getting enough natural sunlight during the day. Being stuck inside, especially during the winter months, can mean you're not getting enough sunlight. Sunlight helps your body produce vitamin D, which can boost your mood. Try to spend a few minutes outside on your breaks. You can also open your blinds or go stand by a window on your breaks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work some exercise in\", \"描述\": \"Exercise is a natural mood booster — in fact, it may be as effective in treating depression as some antidepressants — so if you can work some exercise into your day, you can help increase your productivity. Try adding some small exercise routines that you can do around your workspace or during your breaks.\\nFor instance, take a short walk around the office or outside the building on your lunch break.\\nTry doing a few jumping jacks when there are no customers around.\\nWhen you feel yourself getting tired, try standing up and jogging in place for a few minutes.\\nIf you already have an active job that makes you move around, that's all the better.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Vent if you can.\", \"描述\": \"If you are experiencing anxiety in addition to depression, it may help to find someone you can vent to. Of course, it must be someone you trust implicitly, so you know they won't go behind your back and use the information against you. Nonetheless, having someone to talk to at work can help keep your stress levels down.\\nIf you don't trust someone enough at work, find a friend outside of work. It won't be quite the same (since they don't know who's involved), but they can still listen.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Creating a Calming Space\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"De-clutter your workspace.\", \"描述\": \"Clutter is a nuisance because it makes it harder for you to work. In addition, it can also contribute to your depression. On your good days, try to keep your work area uncluttered so that on your bad days, having too much stuff around won't bring you down even further.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to calming music.\", \"描述\": \"If you're depressed, you may also be feeling some anxiety about not being able to get your work done. That anxiety isn't going to help the situation. Try keeping yourself calm by listening to some music that soothes you, if your boss allows it. Of course, put in some headphones so you don't disturb your neighbors, particularly if you are in a cubicle or out in the open.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try adding some blue.\", \"描述\": \"Blue can be a calming color, keeping you relaxed. It can also help increase your productivity. Try adding some splashes of blue to your desk or work space or changing your computer background to a predominantly blue picture.\\nIf you can't change much, try adding a touch of color, such as a tiny stuffed animal or sticker where customers can't see it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add visuals that make you happy.\", \"描述\": \"If you can, add some pictures or art to your workspace that make you feel happier. Put up pictures of your kids if that's your thing, or have a desk calendar with cat pictures. You could also put up prints of artwork you enjoy.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,069 | How to Be Professional at Work | 1. Presenting Yourself in a Professional Manner
1-1. Be well groomed and appropriately dressed.
You should come into work every day clean and well groomed to ensure you have a professional appearance. You will also need to dress professionally based on the expected attire of your workplace. Avoid clothing that is too tight or too revealing and if you think something may not be appropriate for your workplace, don't wear it.
Gauge the dress expectations of your workplace by noticing what other employers are wearing. If everyone is wearing conservative attire, with suits, collared shirts, and long skirts, adjust your attire accordingly. Many workplaces have a business casual dress code, which may allow slacks or jeans as long as you still appear professional. Be mindful of bright colors and busy patterns as well.
If possible, cover any tattoos and remove any piercings, unless your superiors are fine with you exposing them.
1-2. Follow the cultural norms of your workplace.
Note how your coworkers operate in your office to get a sense of how things are done. You may note how people dress, and how they lower their voices when someone is on the phone nearby, or that they go into the staff room to have more casual discussions.
You may also notice how your coworkers interact with clients during meetings, and how everyone always shows up on time, or a few minutes early for a meeting. Pay attention to the behavior of others to get a sense of what is considered professional in your workplace.
1-3. Be on time for meetings and discussions
The majority of workplaces will expect you to be on time for all meetings, planned discussions, and to be at work by a certain time in the day. If you are not sure about the expectations around the start time for the work day, ask your superior. Most offices expect their employees to be in the office early in the morning to field any calls from clients and to ensure the office is functioning during regular business hours.
If possible, try to get to meetings 5 minutes early to get settled and organized before the meeting begins. Avoid showing up more than 10 minutes early for a meeting, as any earlier can throw off other people's schedules and actually be inconvenient for others.
Make sure you organize your materials and papers before the meeting begins. Be prepared to participate or give your input in case you are asked to do so.
1-4. Maintain a positive attitude.
Often, a professional attitude is a positive and motivated one. To be successful, you will need to demonstrate to others that you have the skills and knowledge to perform your duties and responsibilities. But in addition to expertise and know how, your employer will value a professional attitude that demonstrates character and integrity.
Focus on being honest, reliable, a hard worker, and positive, day in and day out. Your job should be important to you, and you should value your successes, no matter how small or minor.
2. Communicating Effectively
2-1. Bring a notepad with you to meetings and discussions.
Avoid forgetting any tasks or appointments by always writing it down in a work designated notepad. You can use a digital notepad or a pen and paper. Show your professionalism by taking notes during meetings to stay organized and on track.
2-2. Speak clearly, and speak up when necessary.
To communicate professionally, you need to show yo and discussions and wait until someone is finished speaking to share your thoughts. Speak slowly and concisely so everyone can understand your points and make note of them. If you're feeling nervous, career coach Melody Godfred suggests "taking time at home and during your off time to really cultivate that idea and make it concrete before presenting it at work."
If you notice problems or issues around a certain project or client, speak up to your coworkers and your superiors. Don't ignore or avoid these conflicts. Instead, face them head-on by alerting others to the issues and working together to try to problem-solve.
2-3. Use email or the telephone, unless you need to discuss something face to face.
Most workplaces encourage managing your time effectively by using email or a phone call to discuss minor decisions or issues. Avoid calling a meeting for topics that could be addressed in 5 minutes with a quick email exchange or phone call. Wasting other people's time with unnecessary meetings can be seen as unprofessional.
Research your question or issue before bringing it to everyone else's attention. Look through your emails or office memos to ensure you aren't missing information that has been disseminated.
There may be an instance where you need to call a face to face meeting to discuss a major issue. If this is the case, send a meeting invitation by email to your coworkers and/or clients. Check your coworkers' calendars to ensure they are available during the proposed time.
2-4. Learn to take feedback and act on it.
Career coach Melody Godfred reminds that "asking for feedback can lead to a potential learning opportunity." Remember that good feedback should be about your work and your results. It should never be personal. Getting angry or defensive about feedback can make you appear unprofessional. Instead, focus on learning from feedback and using it to improve the way you do things at work.
3. Interacting Professionally
3-1. Avoid office politics and gossip.
It can be hard not to get sucked into the office gossip mill, especially if you are new to the workplace and are starting to get to know your coworkers. But staying out of office politics and gossip will ensure you maintain a professional reputation and do not get too involved personally with rumors or hearsay. Career coach Melody Godfred stresses that "you never want to contribute to activities that fuel a toxic workplace culture."
Not talking about your coworkers behind their backs or based on gossip will also show you respect your coworkers and are willing to be honest and straightforward with them.
3-2. Be pleasant and respectful to your coworkers.
This includes coworkers you may not get along with or see eye to eye with. If you have a coworker who you cannot work with, avoid working directly with them, if possible. You may consider talking to your boss or superior if you have constant issues with the coworker's work attitude and performance.
3-3. Treat your boss like a possible mentor.
If your boss sees potential in you as an employee, they may try to act as a mentor to you. It's important to maintain a relationship with your boss that is professional and humble. Avoid acting like you know more about the job than your boss does or that you are not willing to learn new skills or to take their advice.
3-4. Focus on getting your work done well.
The easiest way to be professional at work is to do your job well without having to be reminded. Career coach Melody Godfred advises "really focusing on yourself and what you can contribute to your workplace. Think about what you can gain from your workplace, too; even if ends up being a short-time opportunity, you can move onto the your next opportunity having gained and contributed something."
Having a mentor as your boss can lead to bigger career opportunities and the ability to expand your existing skill set.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Presenting Yourself in a Professional Manner\\n1-1. Be well groomed and appropriately dressed.\\nYou should come into work every day clean and well groomed to ensure you have a professional appearance. You will also need to dress professionally based on the expected attire of your workplace. Avoid clothing that is too tight or too revealing and if you think something may not be appropriate for your workplace, don't wear it.\\nGauge the dress expectations of your workplace by noticing what other employers are wearing. If everyone is wearing conservative attire, with suits, collared shirts, and long skirts, adjust your attire accordingly. Many workplaces have a business casual dress code, which may allow slacks or jeans as long as you still appear professional. Be mindful of bright colors and busy patterns as well.\\nIf possible, cover any tattoos and remove any piercings, unless your superiors are fine with you exposing them.\\n1-2. Follow the cultural norms of your workplace.\\nNote how your coworkers operate in your office to get a sense of how things are done. You may note how people dress, and how they lower their voices when someone is on the phone nearby, or that they go into the staff room to have more casual discussions.\\nYou may also notice how your coworkers interact with clients during meetings, and how everyone always shows up on time, or a few minutes early for a meeting. Pay attention to the behavior of others to get a sense of what is considered professional in your workplace.\\n1-3. Be on time for meetings and discussions\\nThe majority of workplaces will expect you to be on time for all meetings, planned discussions, and to be at work by a certain time in the day. If you are not sure about the expectations around the start time for the work day, ask your superior. Most offices expect their employees to be in the office early in the morning to field any calls from clients and to ensure the office is functioning during regular business hours.\\nIf possible, try to get to meetings 5 minutes early to get settled and organized before the meeting begins. Avoid showing up more than 10 minutes early for a meeting, as any earlier can throw off other people's schedules and actually be inconvenient for others.\\nMake sure you organize your materials and papers before the meeting begins. Be prepared to participate or give your input in case you are asked to do so.\\n1-4. Maintain a positive attitude.\\nOften, a professional attitude is a positive and motivated one. To be successful, you will need to demonstrate to others that you have the skills and knowledge to perform your duties and responsibilities. But in addition to expertise and know how, your employer will value a professional attitude that demonstrates character and integrity.\\nFocus on being honest, reliable, a hard worker, and positive, day in and day out. Your job should be important to you, and you should value your successes, no matter how small or minor.\\n2. Communicating Effectively\\n2-1. Bring a notepad with you to meetings and discussions.\\nAvoid forgetting any tasks or appointments by always writing it down in a work designated notepad. You can use a digital notepad or a pen and paper. Show your professionalism by taking notes during meetings to stay organized and on track.\\n2-2. Speak clearly, and speak up when necessary.\\nTo communicate professionally, you need to show yo and discussions and wait until someone is finished speaking to share your thoughts. Speak slowly and concisely so everyone can understand your points and make note of them. If you're feeling nervous, career coach Melody Godfred suggests \\\"taking time at home and during your off time to really cultivate that idea and make it concrete before presenting it at work.\\\"\\nIf you notice problems or issues around a certain project or client, speak up to your coworkers and your superiors. Don't ignore or avoid these conflicts. Instead, face them head-on by alerting others to the issues and working together to try to problem-solve.\\n2-3. Use email or the telephone, unless you need to discuss something face to face.\\nMost workplaces encourage managing your time effectively by using email or a phone call to discuss minor decisions or issues. Avoid calling a meeting for topics that could be addressed in 5 minutes with a quick email exchange or phone call. Wasting other people's time with unnecessary meetings can be seen as unprofessional.\\nResearch your question or issue before bringing it to everyone else's attention. Look through your emails or office memos to ensure you aren't missing information that has been disseminated.\\nThere may be an instance where you need to call a face to face meeting to discuss a major issue. If this is the case, send a meeting invitation by email to your coworkers and/or clients. Check your coworkers' calendars to ensure they are available during the proposed time.\\n2-4. Learn to take feedback and act on it.\\nCareer coach Melody Godfred reminds that \\\"asking for feedback can lead to a potential learning opportunity.\\\" Remember that good feedback should be about your work and your results. It should never be personal. Getting angry or defensive about feedback can make you appear unprofessional. Instead, focus on learning from feedback and using it to improve the way you do things at work.\\n3. Interacting Professionally\\n3-1. Avoid office politics and gossip.\\nIt can be hard not to get sucked into the office gossip mill, especially if you are new to the workplace and are starting to get to know your coworkers. But staying out of office politics and gossip will ensure you maintain a professional reputation and do not get too involved personally with rumors or hearsay. Career coach Melody Godfred stresses that \\\"you never want to contribute to activities that fuel a toxic workplace culture.\\\"\\nNot talking about your coworkers behind their backs or based on gossip will also show you respect your coworkers and are willing to be honest and straightforward with them.\\n3-2. Be pleasant and respectful to your coworkers.\\nThis includes coworkers you may not get along with or see eye to eye with. If you have a coworker who you cannot work with, avoid working directly with them, if possible. You may consider talking to your boss or superior if you have constant issues with the coworker's work attitude and performance.\\n3-3. Treat your boss like a possible mentor.\\nIf your boss sees potential in you as an employee, they may try to act as a mentor to you. It's important to maintain a relationship with your boss that is professional and humble. Avoid acting like you know more about the job than your boss does or that you are not willing to learn new skills or to take their advice.\\n3-4. Focus on getting your work done well.\\nThe easiest way to be professional at work is to do your job well without having to be reminded. Career coach Melody Godfred advises \\\"really focusing on yourself and what you can contribute to your workplace. Think about what you can gain from your workplace, too; even if ends up being a short-time opportunity, you can move onto the your next opportunity having gained and contributed something.\\\"\\nHaving a mentor as your boss can lead to bigger career opportunities and the ability to expand your existing skill set.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being professional is one of the most important aspects of being successful at your job. Your professionalism could open the door to other career opportunities, a raise, or even a bonus. Your demeanor toward your boss, your coworkers, and your clients should be courteous and professional at all times, from how you present yourself to how you communicate to how you interact with others at work.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Presenting Yourself in a Professional Manner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be well groomed and appropriately dressed.\", \"描述\": \"You should come into work every day clean and well groomed to ensure you have a professional appearance. You will also need to dress professionally based on the expected attire of your workplace. Avoid clothing that is too tight or too revealing and if you think something may not be appropriate for your workplace, don't wear it.\\nGauge the dress expectations of your workplace by noticing what other employers are wearing. If everyone is wearing conservative attire, with suits, collared shirts, and long skirts, adjust your attire accordingly. Many workplaces have a business casual dress code, which may allow slacks or jeans as long as you still appear professional. Be mindful of bright colors and busy patterns as well.\\nIf possible, cover any tattoos and remove any piercings, unless your superiors are fine with you exposing them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow the cultural norms of your workplace.\", \"描述\": \"Note how your coworkers operate in your office to get a sense of how things are done. You may note how people dress, and how they lower their voices when someone is on the phone nearby, or that they go into the staff room to have more casual discussions.\\nYou may also notice how your coworkers interact with clients during meetings, and how everyone always shows up on time, or a few minutes early for a meeting. Pay attention to the behavior of others to get a sense of what is considered professional in your workplace.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be on time for meetings and discussions\", \"描述\": \"The majority of workplaces will expect you to be on time for all meetings, planned discussions, and to be at work by a certain time in the day. If you are not sure about the expectations around the start time for the work day, ask your superior. Most offices expect their employees to be in the office early in the morning to field any calls from clients and to ensure the office is functioning during regular business hours.\\nIf possible, try to get to meetings 5 minutes early to get settled and organized before the meeting begins. Avoid showing up more than 10 minutes early for a meeting, as any earlier can throw off other people's schedules and actually be inconvenient for others.\\nMake sure you organize your materials and papers before the meeting begins. Be prepared to participate or give your input in case you are asked to do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain a positive attitude.\", \"描述\": \"Often, a professional attitude is a positive and motivated one. To be successful, you will need to demonstrate to others that you have the skills and knowledge to perform your duties and responsibilities. But in addition to expertise and know how, your employer will value a professional attitude that demonstrates character and integrity.\\nFocus on being honest, reliable, a hard worker, and positive, day in and day out. Your job should be important to you, and you should value your successes, no matter how small or minor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Effectively\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring a notepad with you to meetings and discussions.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid forgetting any tasks or appointments by always writing it down in a work designated notepad. You can use a digital notepad or a pen and paper. Show your professionalism by taking notes during meetings to stay organized and on track.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak clearly, and speak up when necessary.\", \"描述\": \"To communicate professionally, you need to show yo and discussions and wait until someone is finished speaking to share your thoughts. Speak slowly and concisely so everyone can understand your points and make note of them. If you're feeling nervous, career coach Melody Godfred suggests \\\"taking time at home and during your off time to really cultivate that idea and make it concrete before presenting it at work.\\\"\\nIf you notice problems or issues around a certain project or client, speak up to your coworkers and your superiors. Don't ignore or avoid these conflicts. Instead, face them head-on by alerting others to the issues and working together to try to problem-solve.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use email or the telephone, unless you need to discuss something face to face.\", \"描述\": \"Most workplaces encourage managing your time effectively by using email or a phone call to discuss minor decisions or issues. Avoid calling a meeting for topics that could be addressed in 5 minutes with a quick email exchange or phone call. Wasting other people's time with unnecessary meetings can be seen as unprofessional.\\nResearch your question or issue before bringing it to everyone else's attention. Look through your emails or office memos to ensure you aren't missing information that has been disseminated.\\nThere may be an instance where you need to call a face to face meeting to discuss a major issue. If this is the case, send a meeting invitation by email to your coworkers and/or clients. Check your coworkers' calendars to ensure they are available during the proposed time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to take feedback and act on it.\", \"描述\": \"Career coach Melody Godfred reminds that \\\"asking for feedback can lead to a potential learning opportunity.\\\" Remember that good feedback should be about your work and your results. It should never be personal. Getting angry or defensive about feedback can make you appear unprofessional. Instead, focus on learning from feedback and using it to improve the way you do things at work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interacting Professionally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid office politics and gossip.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard not to get sucked into the office gossip mill, especially if you are new to the workplace and are starting to get to know your coworkers. But staying out of office politics and gossip will ensure you maintain a professional reputation and do not get too involved personally with rumors or hearsay. Career coach Melody Godfred stresses that \\\"you never want to contribute to activities that fuel a toxic workplace culture.\\\"\\nNot talking about your coworkers behind their backs or based on gossip will also show you respect your coworkers and are willing to be honest and straightforward with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be pleasant and respectful to your coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"This includes coworkers you may not get along with or see eye to eye with. If you have a coworker who you cannot work with, avoid working directly with them, if possible. You may consider talking to your boss or superior if you have constant issues with the coworker's work attitude and performance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat your boss like a possible mentor.\", \"描述\": \"If your boss sees potential in you as an employee, they may try to act as a mentor to you. It's important to maintain a relationship with your boss that is professional and humble. Avoid acting like you know more about the job than your boss does or that you are not willing to learn new skills or to take their advice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on getting your work done well.\", \"描述\": \"The easiest way to be professional at work is to do your job well without having to be reminded. Career coach Melody Godfred advises \\\"really focusing on yourself and what you can contribute to your workplace. Think about what you can gain from your workplace, too; even if ends up being a short-time opportunity, you can move onto the your next opportunity having gained and contributed something.\\\"\\nHaving a mentor as your boss can lead to bigger career opportunities and the ability to expand your existing skill set.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,070 | How to Be Proud, Not Cocky and Conceited | 1. Showing the Right Amount of Confidence
1-1. Account for what's on the inside.
Confidence does not come from a specific look, brand, or attitude. Confidence is natural and should come from inside you. When you fake confidence, it can come off as conceited, especially if you think your purchases or style are your primary value. Take a look at what you have to offer as a person, and build confidence from there.
1-2. Walk with confidence.
Pride is just another way of saying you have high self-worth. There’s no better way to display this than your walk. You come across as insecure when you walk with your shoulders slumped and your face turned towards the ground beneath you. Instead, pull your shoulders back, lift your chin, and walk with your head held high.
For extra points, smile at everyone you meet. Doing so helps you show confidence while still being friendly and approachable.
1-3. Dress well.
How you dress sends a message to the outside world about how you want to be perceived. Everyone has their own individual style, of course. Whether you enjoy dressing in business suits or tattered jeans, you can make it your business to wear clothes that are clean and well-fitting.
When you shop, go for quality over quantity. You may be able to splurge on only one dress, but if it is of high-quality it may last far longer than cheaper pieces. No need to wear flashy logos or accessories.
Dressing extends to your hygiene, too. Keep your hair cut and styled. Manicure, or at the very least, clip your nails regularly. Find a signature scent that speaks to you and wear it often.
1-4. Focus on your character strengths versus superficial traits.
Cocky people often boast about superficial aspects of their lives like money, clothes, cars, or dates. To demonstrate pride without arrogance, highlight your meaningful strengths.
Think about what makes you a great person beyond those superficial things. Maybe you’re a great listener, an excellent problem-solver, or super creative.
Make a list of your positive traits and accomplishments. Review it regularly to feel pride about yourself.
1-5. Improve your speaking skills.
There’s hardly a better way to feel pride about yourself than being an effective communicator. Effective communicators understand how to carefully balance speaking and listening so that they do not dominate conversations. Here are a few tips to be a more effective communicator.
Have open body language. Leave your arms and legs uncrossed and relaxed at your sides.
Remove any distractions when you’re communicating such as cell phones or televisions.
Make regular eye contact. Smile, nod, or gesture as appropriate.
Don’t interrupt—wait until the speaker is finished before replying.
Remember that part of being a good speaker is being a good listener. Allow others to engage you or an audience without cutting them off or ignoring them.
2. Being a Person of Integrity
2-1. Acknowledge your accomplishments, but be human, too.
You come off as doubting yourself when you undermine your accomplishments or speak negatively about yourself. When you speak well of yourself you seem prideful, but you have to navigate this part carefully to prevent coming off as conceited. Be humble but genuine, and others will take note.
Rather than self-deprecate yourself to make others like you, be willing to show your human side. Share stories about struggles or mistakes to let others know that you are a work in progress, just like they are.
For example, a coworker tells you “You can’t relate to my situation. You’ve never had a negative performance review.” Respond with “That’s not true. When I first started here, it took me several months to get the hang of things. Our supervisor was actually thinking about letting me go. I guess I just never shared that with anyone.”
2-2. Be punctual and reliable.
Cocky people often behave like the world revolves around them. They may show up late and shove their responsibilities onto the laps of others because they think the work is beneath them. Exhibit pride in yourself by being the opposite—show up early (or on time) to commitments and be consistent in your efforts.
2-3. Admit when you’re wrong.
If you’re ever running late or default on a promise, apologize and try to rectify the situation. Cocky people just go on with their lives, with little to no concern for other’s feelings. Apologizing shows empathy and lets people see your flawed, human side.
If you’re late for a meeting, you might say, “Hey, everyone, I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness. I know each of you have things to do, so I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
2-4. Avoid bad-mouthing others.
Gossiping makes you look insecure and jealous. To show pride in yourself, never engage in belittling others or sharing their secrets and scandals. Conduct yourself with integrity by keeping most of your language positive about others, particularly if they are not present to defend themselves.
If you find yourself in the midst of gossip, leave the environment or try to change the subject.
3. Demonstrating Humility
3-1. Avoid criticizing others.
Confident people don't feel the need to criticize others to make themselves look better. When trying to correct someone or help them out, be sure to provide constructive criticism.
Praise others for what they did right, and when necessary, offer feedback about the topic you're addressing rather than about them as a person.
3-2. Focus on others in conversation.
Arrogance is often indicated by a tendency to hog the attention. Cocky and conceited people may dominate conversations discussing their own achievements. A person with the right degree of pride understands that you become more likeable when you share the spotlight in conversation. People like to talk about themselves, so be generous and give them the opportunity.
When you find yourself talking about your own achievements, subtly redirect the topic back to the other person. You might say, “Enough about me. Please do share with me how you managed to get that project in a week before deadline. That was unprecedented!”
3-3. Applaud other’s successes.
Boastful people want to dwell on their own talents while minimizing others’. Counteract that tendency by uplifting others when they do well. Friends, family, and coworkers will all view you more favorably when you praise them for their successes. It shows that you can see the best in others without feeling threatened.
Prevent coming off as smug or jealous by being there to pat others on the back. You don’t have to exaggerate it, but do make a point to extend your well-wishes to someone who excels. Take them out to lunch. Buy them a drink. Or, brag on them a little to others.
3-4. Be willing to share the credit.
Cocky people generally have the big-head syndrome, which makes them unable to see pass their own awesomeness. People with pride are willing to share positive attention, especially when it’s deserved. Don’t take all the applause when you are celebrated for a team effort. Mention the efforts of those who helped, too.
You might say, “I am truly pleased that you all liked the film, but many people were involved in this project with me. I’d like to give a round of applause to each of them also.” Then, call out their names to give them a moment in the spotlight, too.
3-5. Help others without asking for anything in return.
Favors from conceited people often are bestowed at a price. These people may not choose to do anything nice for others without expecting something in return. A humble person extends a helping hand to those in need without questioning what they’ll get for it.
If a friend is in trouble, come to their rescue without hoping for credit or compensation. Say, “If you need me, let me know. I’m here for you.”
Another great way to humbly help others is through volunteerism. Find a cause you like and reach out to help those in need. Examples might include building homes for the needy or reading to kids at your local library.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Showing the Right Amount of Confidence\\n1-1. Account for what's on the inside.\\nConfidence does not come from a specific look, brand, or attitude. Confidence is natural and should come from inside you. When you fake confidence, it can come off as conceited, especially if you think your purchases or style are your primary value. Take a look at what you have to offer as a person, and build confidence from there.\\n1-2. Walk with confidence.\\nPride is just another way of saying you have high self-worth. There’s no better way to display this than your walk. You come across as insecure when you walk with your shoulders slumped and your face turned towards the ground beneath you. Instead, pull your shoulders back, lift your chin, and walk with your head held high.\\nFor extra points, smile at everyone you meet. Doing so helps you show confidence while still being friendly and approachable.\\n1-3. Dress well.\\nHow you dress sends a message to the outside world about how you want to be perceived. Everyone has their own individual style, of course. Whether you enjoy dressing in business suits or tattered jeans, you can make it your business to wear clothes that are clean and well-fitting.\\nWhen you shop, go for quality over quantity. You may be able to splurge on only one dress, but if it is of high-quality it may last far longer than cheaper pieces. No need to wear flashy logos or accessories.\\nDressing extends to your hygiene, too. Keep your hair cut and styled. Manicure, or at the very least, clip your nails regularly. Find a signature scent that speaks to you and wear it often.\\n1-4. Focus on your character strengths versus superficial traits.\\nCocky people often boast about superficial aspects of their lives like money, clothes, cars, or dates. To demonstrate pride without arrogance, highlight your meaningful strengths.\\nThink about what makes you a great person beyond those superficial things. Maybe you’re a great listener, an excellent problem-solver, or super creative.\\nMake a list of your positive traits and accomplishments. Review it regularly to feel pride about yourself.\\n1-5. Improve your speaking skills.\\nThere’s hardly a better way to feel pride about yourself than being an effective communicator. Effective communicators understand how to carefully balance speaking and listening so that they do not dominate conversations. Here are a few tips to be a more effective communicator.\\nHave open body language. Leave your arms and legs uncrossed and relaxed at your sides.\\nRemove any distractions when you’re communicating such as cell phones or televisions.\\nMake regular eye contact. Smile, nod, or gesture as appropriate.\\nDon’t interrupt—wait until the speaker is finished before replying.\\nRemember that part of being a good speaker is being a good listener. Allow others to engage you or an audience without cutting them off or ignoring them.\\n2. Being a Person of Integrity\\n2-1. Acknowledge your accomplishments, but be human, too.\\nYou come off as doubting yourself when you undermine your accomplishments or speak negatively about yourself. When you speak well of yourself you seem prideful, but you have to navigate this part carefully to prevent coming off as conceited. Be humble but genuine, and others will take note.\\nRather than self-deprecate yourself to make others like you, be willing to show your human side. Share stories about struggles or mistakes to let others know that you are a work in progress, just like they are.\\nFor example, a coworker tells you “You can’t relate to my situation. You’ve never had a negative performance review.” Respond with “That’s not true. When I first started here, it took me several months to get the hang of things. Our supervisor was actually thinking about letting me go. I guess I just never shared that with anyone.”\\n2-2. Be punctual and reliable.\\nCocky people often behave like the world revolves around them. They may show up late and shove their responsibilities onto the laps of others because they think the work is beneath them. Exhibit pride in yourself by being the opposite—show up early (or on time) to commitments and be consistent in your efforts.\\n2-3. Admit when you’re wrong.\\nIf you’re ever running late or default on a promise, apologize and try to rectify the situation. Cocky people just go on with their lives, with little to no concern for other’s feelings. Apologizing shows empathy and lets people see your flawed, human side.\\nIf you’re late for a meeting, you might say, “Hey, everyone, I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness. I know each of you have things to do, so I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”\\n2-4. Avoid bad-mouthing others.\\nGossiping makes you look insecure and jealous. To show pride in yourself, never engage in belittling others or sharing their secrets and scandals. Conduct yourself with integrity by keeping most of your language positive about others, particularly if they are not present to defend themselves.\\nIf you find yourself in the midst of gossip, leave the environment or try to change the subject.\\n3. Demonstrating Humility\\n3-1. Avoid criticizing others.\\nConfident people don't feel the need to criticize others to make themselves look better. When trying to correct someone or help them out, be sure to provide constructive criticism.\\nPraise others for what they did right, and when necessary, offer feedback about the topic you're addressing rather than about them as a person.\\n3-2. Focus on others in conversation.\\nArrogance is often indicated by a tendency to hog the attention. Cocky and conceited people may dominate conversations discussing their own achievements. A person with the right degree of pride understands that you become more likeable when you share the spotlight in conversation. People like to talk about themselves, so be generous and give them the opportunity.\\nWhen you find yourself talking about your own achievements, subtly redirect the topic back to the other person. You might say, “Enough about me. Please do share with me how you managed to get that project in a week before deadline. That was unprecedented!”\\n3-3. Applaud other’s successes.\\nBoastful people want to dwell on their own talents while minimizing others’. Counteract that tendency by uplifting others when they do well. Friends, family, and coworkers will all view you more favorably when you praise them for their successes. It shows that you can see the best in others without feeling threatened.\\nPrevent coming off as smug or jealous by being there to pat others on the back. You don’t have to exaggerate it, but do make a point to extend your well-wishes to someone who excels. Take them out to lunch. Buy them a drink. Or, brag on them a little to others.\\n3-4. Be willing to share the credit.\\nCocky people generally have the big-head syndrome, which makes them unable to see pass their own awesomeness. People with pride are willing to share positive attention, especially when it’s deserved. Don’t take all the applause when you are celebrated for a team effort. Mention the efforts of those who helped, too.\\nYou might say, “I am truly pleased that you all liked the film, but many people were involved in this project with me. I’d like to give a round of applause to each of them also.” Then, call out their names to give them a moment in the spotlight, too.\\n3-5. Help others without asking for anything in return.\\nFavors from conceited people often are bestowed at a price. These people may not choose to do anything nice for others without expecting something in return. A humble person extends a helping hand to those in need without questioning what they’ll get for it.\\nIf a friend is in trouble, come to their rescue without hoping for credit or compensation. Say, “If you need me, let me know. I’m here for you.”\\nAnother great way to humbly help others is through volunteerism. Find a cause you like and reach out to help those in need. Examples might include building homes for the needy or reading to kids at your local library.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There is a dreadfully thin line between pride and conceitedness. If you have been accused of being cocky, or you’re worried about how you come off to others, you may want to reel in your behavior a bit. Having a sense of pride can boost your self-esteem and make you appear more attractive to others—as long as you don’t take it too far. Learn how to be proud without coming off as cocky or conceited by exhibiting confidence appropriately, acting with integrity, and learning how to be more humble.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing the Right Amount of Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Account for what's on the inside.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence does not come from a specific look, brand, or attitude. Confidence is natural and should come from inside you. When you fake confidence, it can come off as conceited, especially if you think your purchases or style are your primary value. Take a look at what you have to offer as a person, and build confidence from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Walk with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Pride is just another way of saying you have high self-worth. There’s no better way to display this than your walk. You come across as insecure when you walk with your shoulders slumped and your face turned towards the ground beneath you. Instead, pull your shoulders back, lift your chin, and walk with your head held high.\\nFor extra points, smile at everyone you meet. Doing so helps you show confidence while still being friendly and approachable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress well.\", \"描述\": \"How you dress sends a message to the outside world about how you want to be perceived. Everyone has their own individual style, of course. Whether you enjoy dressing in business suits or tattered jeans, you can make it your business to wear clothes that are clean and well-fitting.\\nWhen you shop, go for quality over quantity. You may be able to splurge on only one dress, but if it is of high-quality it may last far longer than cheaper pieces. No need to wear flashy logos or accessories.\\nDressing extends to your hygiene, too. Keep your hair cut and styled. Manicure, or at the very least, clip your nails regularly. Find a signature scent that speaks to you and wear it often.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on your character strengths versus superficial traits.\", \"描述\": \"Cocky people often boast about superficial aspects of their lives like money, clothes, cars, or dates. To demonstrate pride without arrogance, highlight your meaningful strengths.\\nThink about what makes you a great person beyond those superficial things. Maybe you’re a great listener, an excellent problem-solver, or super creative.\\nMake a list of your positive traits and accomplishments. Review it regularly to feel pride about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Improve your speaking skills.\", \"描述\": \"There’s hardly a better way to feel pride about yourself than being an effective communicator. Effective communicators understand how to carefully balance speaking and listening so that they do not dominate conversations. Here are a few tips to be a more effective communicator.\\nHave open body language. Leave your arms and legs uncrossed and relaxed at your sides.\\nRemove any distractions when you’re communicating such as cell phones or televisions.\\nMake regular eye contact. Smile, nod, or gesture as appropriate.\\nDon’t interrupt—wait until the speaker is finished before replying.\\nRemember that part of being a good speaker is being a good listener. Allow others to engage you or an audience without cutting them off or ignoring them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being a Person of Integrity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your accomplishments, but be human, too.\", \"描述\": \"You come off as doubting yourself when you undermine your accomplishments or speak negatively about yourself. When you speak well of yourself you seem prideful, but you have to navigate this part carefully to prevent coming off as conceited. Be humble but genuine, and others will take note.\\nRather than self-deprecate yourself to make others like you, be willing to show your human side. Share stories about struggles or mistakes to let others know that you are a work in progress, just like they are.\\nFor example, a coworker tells you “You can’t relate to my situation. You’ve never had a negative performance review.” Respond with “That’s not true. When I first started here, it took me several months to get the hang of things. Our supervisor was actually thinking about letting me go. I guess I just never shared that with anyone.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be punctual and reliable.\", \"描述\": \"Cocky people often behave like the world revolves around them. They may show up late and shove their responsibilities onto the laps of others because they think the work is beneath them. Exhibit pride in yourself by being the opposite—show up early (or on time) to commitments and be consistent in your efforts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Admit when you’re wrong.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re ever running late or default on a promise, apologize and try to rectify the situation. Cocky people just go on with their lives, with little to no concern for other’s feelings. Apologizing shows empathy and lets people see your flawed, human side.\\nIf you’re late for a meeting, you might say, “Hey, everyone, I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness. I know each of you have things to do, so I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid bad-mouthing others.\", \"描述\": \"Gossiping makes you look insecure and jealous. To show pride in yourself, never engage in belittling others or sharing their secrets and scandals. Conduct yourself with integrity by keeping most of your language positive about others, particularly if they are not present to defend themselves.\\nIf you find yourself in the midst of gossip, leave the environment or try to change the subject.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Demonstrating Humility\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid criticizing others.\", \"描述\": \"Confident people don't feel the need to criticize others to make themselves look better. When trying to correct someone or help them out, be sure to provide constructive criticism.\\nPraise others for what they did right, and when necessary, offer feedback about the topic you're addressing rather than about them as a person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus on others in conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Arrogance is often indicated by a tendency to hog the attention. Cocky and conceited people may dominate conversations discussing their own achievements. A person with the right degree of pride understands that you become more likeable when you share the spotlight in conversation. People like to talk about themselves, so be generous and give them the opportunity.\\nWhen you find yourself talking about your own achievements, subtly redirect the topic back to the other person. You might say, “Enough about me. Please do share with me how you managed to get that project in a week before deadline. That was unprecedented!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Applaud other’s successes.\", \"描述\": \"Boastful people want to dwell on their own talents while minimizing others’. Counteract that tendency by uplifting others when they do well. Friends, family, and coworkers will all view you more favorably when you praise them for their successes. It shows that you can see the best in others without feeling threatened.\\nPrevent coming off as smug or jealous by being there to pat others on the back. You don’t have to exaggerate it, but do make a point to extend your well-wishes to someone who excels. Take them out to lunch. Buy them a drink. Or, brag on them a little to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be willing to share the credit.\", \"描述\": \"Cocky people generally have the big-head syndrome, which makes them unable to see pass their own awesomeness. People with pride are willing to share positive attention, especially when it’s deserved. Don’t take all the applause when you are celebrated for a team effort. Mention the efforts of those who helped, too.\\nYou might say, “I am truly pleased that you all liked the film, but many people were involved in this project with me. I’d like to give a round of applause to each of them also.” Then, call out their names to give them a moment in the spotlight, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Help others without asking for anything in return.\", \"描述\": \"Favors from conceited people often are bestowed at a price. These people may not choose to do anything nice for others without expecting something in return. A humble person extends a helping hand to those in need without questioning what they’ll get for it.\\nIf a friend is in trouble, come to their rescue without hoping for credit or compensation. Say, “If you need me, let me know. I’m here for you.”\\nAnother great way to humbly help others is through volunteerism. Find a cause you like and reach out to help those in need. Examples might include building homes for the needy or reading to kids at your local library.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,071 | How to Be Proud of Being a Homebody | 1. Accepting Who You Are
1-1. Think about why you like being at home.
A little self-reflection will be very helpful when it comes to accepting who you are. After you’ve thought about why you like being at home rather than going out, you’ll likely be more confident. Some reasons may include:
You get anxious when you go out.
You miss your family or pets when you go out.
There are a lot of things you like to do at home that you can’t do other places.
1-2. Become acquainted with your personality.
Chances are that if you're a ‘homebody’, you may be an introvert. Introversion is typically characterized by a person’s tendency to gather strength and comfort from being alone. Introversion is not a once size fits all package. Each person is unique to how they express themselves based on where they sit on the introversion spectrum.
Someone who is introverted may become easily drained and exhausted from being around other people. They need a restful, comfortable space to help them relax and recharge.
Many homebodies are introspective, and like to spend quiet restful time contemplating various interests and ideas. They can be very creative, insightful, and innovative people.
Someone with introverted tendencies usually prefers to work independently rather than in groups. However, they also have excellent communication capabilities and listening skills.
1-3. Incorporate self compassion.
Self-compassion is our capacity to love and have empathy for ourselves. Practice self-compassion by focusing on three elements:
Recognize that no one is perfect, including yourself. Practice affirming that it is good to feel comfortable with who you are and your life, despite those imperfections.
Practicing self-kindness. Eliminate negative thoughts and self-criticism. For every negative thought or behavior, replace it with two positive one.
Be mindful and present in the moment. Do your best to stay within each moment and maintain a non-biased awareness of all your experiences.
1-4. Accept that everybody is different.
While some people love going out on the town every night, others better enjoy their evenings in. After you accept that everyone is different, you'll be more comfortable being a homebody.
People who are outgoing or extroverted tend to enjoy interacting with different people all the time.
Introverted people value looking inward for guidance and often enjoy quiet reflection more than hustle-and-bustle.
You may be someone who enjoys going out sometimes but would rather stay home most of the time.
1-5. Avoid misconceptions about introversion.
Understand that being a homebody is not a negative quality, and it does not indicate antisocial behavior. Being a homebody and enjoying the time you have in your own personal space does not mean you are depressed or unhappy.
Depression is sometimes associated with feelings of isolation, but that does not mean all homebodies feel depressed. In fact, when too much pressure is placed on a homebody to interact with others, there is a greater tendency for feelings of lowness, stress, and anxiety.
1-6. Avoid letting others pressure you into going out.
One of the biggest challenges for you might be your friends who try to get you to constantly go out. Remember that it’s okay to stand your ground and decline invitations.
If a friend makes you uncomfortable or tries to pressure you into going out, be polite but clear that you aren’t interested.
Consider going out with your friends from time-to-time.
Let your friends know you love hanging out, but you’re not really the type of person who likes to go out all the time.
1-7. Consult a mental health professional if you fear the outside world.
If you have a substantial amount of anxiety associated with leaving your home, you may want to consult someone about it. A psychologist or psychiatrist will be able to assess whether you need help.
It is possible that you have a some sort of mental health condition like agoraphobia, anxiety disorder, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
If you're staying home because you're afraid of the world outside, rather than as a choice, you should seek help from a mental health professional.
2. Entertaining at Home
2-1. Throw a party.
The best part about being a homebody is that you’ll be more comfortable partying at home than elsewhere. Because of this, you should throw a party at home and show your friends why your place is awesome. Some examples of parties you can throw at home include:
Pool parties
Themed parties like a 1920s night
A murder mystery dinner and party
2-2. Have a quiet get-together.
When your proud of being a homebody, you’ll revel in hosting quiet get-togethers at home. Ultimately, quiet get-togethers will allow you to enjoy being home and allow you the joy of entertaining others.
Invite some friends over for a card game or board games.
Have friends over to talk about current events or politics.
Cook things with your friends. For example: Cookies and hot drinks.
2-3. Host a dinner party.
Hosting dinner parties will also send the signal that you’re comfortable at home and happy to entertain. Dinner parties may also placate some of your friends who might pressure you to go to new places all the time.
Prepare a multi-course meal for friends. In fact, this might be the opportunity to win over extrovert friends who try to get you to go out all the time.
Consider holding a dinner party regularly, like once a month or every two months.
If a dinner part feels too formal, consider a canape or tapas party. This type of gathering allows you to mingle more with your guests, and is more relaxed and open for those attending. You can even invite others to bring bite-sized treats to share.
2-4. Start a club.
Another way to own being a homebody is to start a club and host meetings at your home. This way, you can enjoy being at home while you entertain and engage with your friends. Some clubs include:
Book clubs
Exercise clubs, such as running groups or a yoga group
Cooking groups
Craft clubs, such as a quilting or knitting circle, a scrapbooking club, or a painting group
A card playing group
A dinner or brunch club
3. Enjoying Home Life
3-1. Appreciate family time.
The best part of being a homebody is having the availability to spend a lot of time with your family. There are countless family-oriented activities you can do at home. In the end, the opportunity to spend time with your family is one of the things that should make you proudest about being a homebody. Consider:
Playing games with family
Watching movies together
Gardening together
3-2. Enjoy quiet time.
If you’re the type of person who doesn’t like the hustle and bustled involved in going out on the town, you’ll likely relish quiet time at home. Ultimately, the ability to enjoy quiet time at home is one of the most rewarding things of being a homebody. Some quiet activities you can enjoy at home include:
Reading
Napping
Thinking
Meditating
Unwinding
3-3. Celebrate your monetary savings.
One of the best things about staying at home is that you’ll save a lot of money that you’d otherwise spend going out on the town. Some ways you’ll save money include:
Transportation, fuel coasts, taxi fare, or mass transit fare
Eating out
Entertainment at bars, clubs, and elsewhere
3-4. Spend time improving your home.
Perhaps one of the best parts of spending time at home is that you'll be able to do a variety of things to improve your home. Ultimately, you'll want the place you spend the most amount of time to be the nicest place possible.
Clean your home.
Tidy things up. For example, work on eliminating clutter.
Rearrange your furniture. If you don't like the configuration of your living room, experiment with new designs.
Paint your house.
Fix things that are broken.
Tips
Although optional, it can help to align yourself with someone who also loves being a homebody, so that you can stay home together. This will not always be possible though, so the next best thing is to be with someone who is understanding and accepting of your preference to remain at home.
If you feel slightly ashamed or abnormal about liking being at home rather than running around in the rat race, remember that you are being true to yourself.
Note that the realization that you're a homebody can dawn on you slowly. If you spent a lot of time going out in your teens because of peer pressure or simply because staying at home meant vying for peaceful space with your siblings, you may realize later in life that this going-out self isn't a true reflection of who you are.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:39",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting Who You Are\\n1-1. Think about why you like being at home.\\nA little self-reflection will be very helpful when it comes to accepting who you are. After you’ve thought about why you like being at home rather than going out, you’ll likely be more confident. Some reasons may include:\\nYou get anxious when you go out.\\nYou miss your family or pets when you go out.\\nThere are a lot of things you like to do at home that you can’t do other places.\\n1-2. Become acquainted with your personality.\\nChances are that if you're a ‘homebody’, you may be an introvert. Introversion is typically characterized by a person’s tendency to gather strength and comfort from being alone. Introversion is not a once size fits all package. Each person is unique to how they express themselves based on where they sit on the introversion spectrum.\\nSomeone who is introverted may become easily drained and exhausted from being around other people. They need a restful, comfortable space to help them relax and recharge.\\nMany homebodies are introspective, and like to spend quiet restful time contemplating various interests and ideas. They can be very creative, insightful, and innovative people.\\nSomeone with introverted tendencies usually prefers to work independently rather than in groups. However, they also have excellent communication capabilities and listening skills.\\n1-3. Incorporate self compassion.\\nSelf-compassion is our capacity to love and have empathy for ourselves. Practice self-compassion by focusing on three elements:\\nRecognize that no one is perfect, including yourself. Practice affirming that it is good to feel comfortable with who you are and your life, despite those imperfections.\\nPracticing self-kindness. Eliminate negative thoughts and self-criticism. For every negative thought or behavior, replace it with two positive one.\\nBe mindful and present in the moment. Do your best to stay within each moment and maintain a non-biased awareness of all your experiences.\\n1-4. Accept that everybody is different.\\nWhile some people love going out on the town every night, others better enjoy their evenings in. After you accept that everyone is different, you'll be more comfortable being a homebody.\\nPeople who are outgoing or extroverted tend to enjoy interacting with different people all the time.\\nIntroverted people value looking inward for guidance and often enjoy quiet reflection more than hustle-and-bustle.\\nYou may be someone who enjoys going out sometimes but would rather stay home most of the time.\\n1-5. Avoid misconceptions about introversion.\\nUnderstand that being a homebody is not a negative quality, and it does not indicate antisocial behavior. Being a homebody and enjoying the time you have in your own personal space does not mean you are depressed or unhappy.\\nDepression is sometimes associated with feelings of isolation, but that does not mean all homebodies feel depressed. In fact, when too much pressure is placed on a homebody to interact with others, there is a greater tendency for feelings of lowness, stress, and anxiety.\\n1-6. Avoid letting others pressure you into going out.\\nOne of the biggest challenges for you might be your friends who try to get you to constantly go out. Remember that it’s okay to stand your ground and decline invitations.\\nIf a friend makes you uncomfortable or tries to pressure you into going out, be polite but clear that you aren’t interested.\\nConsider going out with your friends from time-to-time.\\nLet your friends know you love hanging out, but you’re not really the type of person who likes to go out all the time.\\n1-7. Consult a mental health professional if you fear the outside world.\\nIf you have a substantial amount of anxiety associated with leaving your home, you may want to consult someone about it. A psychologist or psychiatrist will be able to assess whether you need help.\\nIt is possible that you have a some sort of mental health condition like agoraphobia, anxiety disorder, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.\\nIf you're staying home because you're afraid of the world outside, rather than as a choice, you should seek help from a mental health professional.\\n2. Entertaining at Home\\n2-1. Throw a party.\\nThe best part about being a homebody is that you’ll be more comfortable partying at home than elsewhere. Because of this, you should throw a party at home and show your friends why your place is awesome. Some examples of parties you can throw at home include:\\nPool parties\\nThemed parties like a 1920s night\\nA murder mystery dinner and party\\n2-2. Have a quiet get-together.\\nWhen your proud of being a homebody, you’ll revel in hosting quiet get-togethers at home. Ultimately, quiet get-togethers will allow you to enjoy being home and allow you the joy of entertaining others.\\nInvite some friends over for a card game or board games.\\nHave friends over to talk about current events or politics.\\nCook things with your friends. For example: Cookies and hot drinks.\\n2-3. Host a dinner party.\\nHosting dinner parties will also send the signal that you’re comfortable at home and happy to entertain. Dinner parties may also placate some of your friends who might pressure you to go to new places all the time.\\nPrepare a multi-course meal for friends. In fact, this might be the opportunity to win over extrovert friends who try to get you to go out all the time.\\nConsider holding a dinner party regularly, like once a month or every two months.\\nIf a dinner part feels too formal, consider a canape or tapas party. This type of gathering allows you to mingle more with your guests, and is more relaxed and open for those attending. You can even invite others to bring bite-sized treats to share.\\n2-4. Start a club.\\nAnother way to own being a homebody is to start a club and host meetings at your home. This way, you can enjoy being at home while you entertain and engage with your friends. Some clubs include:\\nBook clubs\\nExercise clubs, such as running groups or a yoga group\\nCooking groups\\nCraft clubs, such as a quilting or knitting circle, a scrapbooking club, or a painting group\\nA card playing group\\nA dinner or brunch club\\n3. Enjoying Home Life\\n3-1. Appreciate family time.\\nThe best part of being a homebody is having the availability to spend a lot of time with your family. There are countless family-oriented activities you can do at home. In the end, the opportunity to spend time with your family is one of the things that should make you proudest about being a homebody. Consider:\\nPlaying games with family\\nWatching movies together\\nGardening together\\n3-2. Enjoy quiet time.\\nIf you’re the type of person who doesn’t like the hustle and bustled involved in going out on the town, you’ll likely relish quiet time at home. Ultimately, the ability to enjoy quiet time at home is one of the most rewarding things of being a homebody. Some quiet activities you can enjoy at home include:\\nReading\\nNapping\\nThinking\\nMeditating\\nUnwinding\\n3-3. Celebrate your monetary savings.\\nOne of the best things about staying at home is that you’ll save a lot of money that you’d otherwise spend going out on the town. Some ways you’ll save money include:\\nTransportation, fuel coasts, taxi fare, or mass transit fare\\nEating out\\nEntertainment at bars, clubs, and elsewhere\\n3-4. Spend time improving your home.\\nPerhaps one of the best parts of spending time at home is that you'll be able to do a variety of things to improve your home. Ultimately, you'll want the place you spend the most amount of time to be the nicest place possible.\\nClean your home.\\nTidy things up. For example, work on eliminating clutter.\\nRearrange your furniture. If you don't like the configuration of your living room, experiment with new designs.\\nPaint your house.\\nFix things that are broken.\\nTips\\nAlthough optional, it can help to align yourself with someone who also loves being a homebody, so that you can stay home together. This will not always be possible though, so the next best thing is to be with someone who is understanding and accepting of your preference to remain at home.\\nIf you feel slightly ashamed or abnormal about liking being at home rather than running around in the rat race, remember that you are being true to yourself.\\nNote that the realization that you're a homebody can dawn on you slowly. If you spent a lot of time going out in your teens because of peer pressure or simply because staying at home meant vying for peaceful space with your siblings, you may realize later in life that this going-out self isn't a true reflection of who you are.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being a homebody can be difficult for some people. Not only can you feel awkward and uncomfortable going out, but you must resist the pressure of friends who want you to go out all the time. Thus, people who are homebodies often feel ashamed or as if something is wrong with them. Ultimately, though, by accepting who you are, taking steps to entertain at home, and reveling in the joys of home life, you’ll be proud to be a homebody.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting Who You Are\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about why you like being at home.\", \"描述\": \"A little self-reflection will be very helpful when it comes to accepting who you are. After you’ve thought about why you like being at home rather than going out, you’ll likely be more confident. Some reasons may include:\\nYou get anxious when you go out.\\nYou miss your family or pets when you go out.\\nThere are a lot of things you like to do at home that you can’t do other places.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become acquainted with your personality.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are that if you're a ‘homebody’, you may be an introvert. Introversion is typically characterized by a person’s tendency to gather strength and comfort from being alone. Introversion is not a once size fits all package. Each person is unique to how they express themselves based on where they sit on the introversion spectrum.\\nSomeone who is introverted may become easily drained and exhausted from being around other people. They need a restful, comfortable space to help them relax and recharge.\\nMany homebodies are introspective, and like to spend quiet restful time contemplating various interests and ideas. They can be very creative, insightful, and innovative people.\\nSomeone with introverted tendencies usually prefers to work independently rather than in groups. However, they also have excellent communication capabilities and listening skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Incorporate self compassion.\", \"描述\": \"Self-compassion is our capacity to love and have empathy for ourselves. Practice self-compassion by focusing on three elements:\\nRecognize that no one is perfect, including yourself. Practice affirming that it is good to feel comfortable with who you are and your life, despite those imperfections.\\nPracticing self-kindness. Eliminate negative thoughts and self-criticism. For every negative thought or behavior, replace it with two positive one.\\nBe mindful and present in the moment. Do your best to stay within each moment and maintain a non-biased awareness of all your experiences.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept that everybody is different.\", \"描述\": \"While some people love going out on the town every night, others better enjoy their evenings in. After you accept that everyone is different, you'll be more comfortable being a homebody.\\nPeople who are outgoing or extroverted tend to enjoy interacting with different people all the time.\\nIntroverted people value looking inward for guidance and often enjoy quiet reflection more than hustle-and-bustle.\\nYou may be someone who enjoys going out sometimes but would rather stay home most of the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid misconceptions about introversion.\", \"描述\": \"Understand that being a homebody is not a negative quality, and it does not indicate antisocial behavior. Being a homebody and enjoying the time you have in your own personal space does not mean you are depressed or unhappy.\\nDepression is sometimes associated with feelings of isolation, but that does not mean all homebodies feel depressed. In fact, when too much pressure is placed on a homebody to interact with others, there is a greater tendency for feelings of lowness, stress, and anxiety.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid letting others pressure you into going out.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest challenges for you might be your friends who try to get you to constantly go out. Remember that it’s okay to stand your ground and decline invitations.\\nIf a friend makes you uncomfortable or tries to pressure you into going out, be polite but clear that you aren’t interested.\\nConsider going out with your friends from time-to-time.\\nLet your friends know you love hanging out, but you’re not really the type of person who likes to go out all the time.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Consult a mental health professional if you fear the outside world.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a substantial amount of anxiety associated with leaving your home, you may want to consult someone about it. A psychologist or psychiatrist will be able to assess whether you need help.\\nIt is possible that you have a some sort of mental health condition like agoraphobia, anxiety disorder, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.\\nIf you're staying home because you're afraid of the world outside, rather than as a choice, you should seek help from a mental health professional.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Entertaining at Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Throw a party.\", \"描述\": \"The best part about being a homebody is that you’ll be more comfortable partying at home than elsewhere. Because of this, you should throw a party at home and show your friends why your place is awesome. Some examples of parties you can throw at home include:\\nPool parties\\nThemed parties like a 1920s night\\nA murder mystery dinner and party\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a quiet get-together.\", \"描述\": \"When your proud of being a homebody, you’ll revel in hosting quiet get-togethers at home. Ultimately, quiet get-togethers will allow you to enjoy being home and allow you the joy of entertaining others.\\nInvite some friends over for a card game or board games.\\nHave friends over to talk about current events or politics.\\nCook things with your friends. For example: Cookies and hot drinks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Host a dinner party.\", \"描述\": \"Hosting dinner parties will also send the signal that you’re comfortable at home and happy to entertain. Dinner parties may also placate some of your friends who might pressure you to go to new places all the time.\\nPrepare a multi-course meal for friends. In fact, this might be the opportunity to win over extrovert friends who try to get you to go out all the time.\\nConsider holding a dinner party regularly, like once a month or every two months.\\nIf a dinner part feels too formal, consider a canape or tapas party. This type of gathering allows you to mingle more with your guests, and is more relaxed and open for those attending. You can even invite others to bring bite-sized treats to share.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start a club.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to own being a homebody is to start a club and host meetings at your home. This way, you can enjoy being at home while you entertain and engage with your friends. Some clubs include:\\nBook clubs\\nExercise clubs, such as running groups or a yoga group\\nCooking groups\\nCraft clubs, such as a quilting or knitting circle, a scrapbooking club, or a painting group\\nA card playing group\\nA dinner or brunch club\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enjoying Home Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appreciate family time.\", \"描述\": \"The best part of being a homebody is having the availability to spend a lot of time with your family. There are countless family-oriented activities you can do at home. In the end, the opportunity to spend time with your family is one of the things that should make you proudest about being a homebody. Consider:\\nPlaying games with family\\nWatching movies together\\nGardening together\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoy quiet time.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re the type of person who doesn’t like the hustle and bustled involved in going out on the town, you’ll likely relish quiet time at home. Ultimately, the ability to enjoy quiet time at home is one of the most rewarding things of being a homebody. Some quiet activities you can enjoy at home include:\\nReading\\nNapping\\nThinking\\nMeditating\\nUnwinding\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Celebrate your monetary savings.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best things about staying at home is that you’ll save a lot of money that you’d otherwise spend going out on the town. Some ways you’ll save money include:\\nTransportation, fuel coasts, taxi fare, or mass transit fare\\nEating out\\nEntertainment at bars, clubs, and elsewhere\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time improving your home.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps one of the best parts of spending time at home is that you'll be able to do a variety of things to improve your home. Ultimately, you'll want the place you spend the most amount of time to be the nicest place possible.\\nClean your home.\\nTidy things up. For example, work on eliminating clutter.\\nRearrange your furniture. If you don't like the configuration of your living room, experiment with new designs.\\nPaint your house.\\nFix things that are broken.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Although optional, it can help to align yourself with someone who also loves being a homebody, so that you can stay home together. This will not always be possible though, so the next best thing is to be with someone who is understanding and accepting of your preference to remain at home.\\n\", \"If you feel slightly ashamed or abnormal about liking being at home rather than running around in the rat race, remember that you are being true to yourself.\\n\", \"Note that the realization that you're a homebody can dawn on you slowly. If you spent a lot of time going out in your teens because of peer pressure or simply because staying at home meant vying for peaceful space with your siblings, you may realize later in life that this going-out self isn't a true reflection of who you are.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,072 | How to Be Proud of Who You Are | 1. Challenging Negative Thoughts
1-1. Identify something that you are grateful for.
Comparing yourself to others is a common type of negative thinking. This practice can make it hard to feel any pride in yourself. If you notice that you are comparing yourself to others, it might help you to stop for a moment and identify something that you are grateful for.
For example, when searching for something to feel grateful for, you might identify your good health or a loyal friend. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person.
1-2. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts.
Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. If you have been stuck in a negative rut for a while, get up and go somewhere else.
For example, you could try taking a walk outside or sitting in a different room of your house for a while.
1-3. Remind yourself that everyone has flaws.
Sometimes negative thoughts may stem from a belief that you have flaws and no one else does. Try to remind yourself that everyone has flaws, even if you cannot see them.
For example, an office mate might seem like she has it all, but that person might be dealing with some serious personal issues that you know nothing about.
Try not to beat yourself up over your flaws. Even if there are things you might like to change about yourself, throwing guilt in the mix isn't going to be helpful.
1-4. Stand up for yourself.
No one has the right to hurt, insult, or intimidate you. If you are being bullied or criticized in a way that is interfering with your pride, then you may need to reach out to someone such as a teacher, counselor, or human resources manager to stand up for yourself.
Remember that people who bully and criticize others often do so because they are insecure about themselves. Realizing that someone who is picking on you may be lashing out because of their own person pain and problems may help you to cope with it a bit better. The criticism is not so much about you, then, as it is about their own feelings of inadequacy.
1-5. Learn to accept constructive criticism.
Although you should defend yourself against insults, it is important to be open to constructive criticism. Criticism can be hard to hear, even when it is constructive. Learning how to accept and respond to constructive criticism can help you to improve yourself and this can be a great source of pride.
Try to suppress your first reaction when getting criticism. Thank the person. Then, face what they have said head on. Spend some time over one or two days considering the criticism. Ask yourself what you can learn from the criticism?
Say that you get an essay back from a professor. You are hurt to find that your grade is a C- and that the instructor says your “ideas are hard to follow.” Rather than becoming angry, reread the paper with a fresh mind. It seemed clear enough when you wrote it. Is it still clear on a second read? Try to understand the criticism rather than pushing it away.
1-6. Turn negative thoughts into productive questions.
Black and white, worst case scenario thinking is not rational or good for you. But you can make negative thoughts into productive questions that will help you to grow and succeed. The next time that you have a negative thought, try turning it into a question that will help you to work towards a goal.
For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’ll never find a new job,” stop and challenge that thought. It's not a fact, and it is coming from an unreliable source (your anxiety). Instead of accepting this negative thought, turn it into a question, such as, “What can I do to give myself the best chance of getting an interview?”
1-7. Stay away from negative people.
Put space between yourself and people who are often critical or negative about you. If possible, try to avoid these people and surround yourself with positive people instead. Sometimes it might not be possible to avoid a negative person, such as your boss or a close family member. In those cases, you may need to build yourself up before or after an encounter with the person.
Try positive self-talk. Before or after an encounter with a difficult person, it might help you to look yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. For example, you could say something like, “You are smart, capable, and hard-working!”
1-8. Seek the help of a therapist.
If you find that overcoming negative thoughts is a constant struggle, talk to a licensed mental health professional. You might need some guidance to help you work through problems and to feel better about yourself. A therapist can help you to overcome negative thinking and may also help you to determine if you are depressed or struggling with a different mental health issue.
2. Building Yourself Up
2-1. Visualize yourself succeeding.
Visualizing yourself succeeding at something may also help to boost your confidence. Try to think of a time when you did feel confident and self-assured and recreate that moment in your head. Or, imagine yourself succeeding at something that you hope to achieve. You can repeat this process any time that you need a boost of confidence.
Make sure that you imagine yourself succeeding with as much detail as possible. How do you look? Who else is there? How do you feel? What do you say?
2-2. Stand up straight and walk with confidence.
The way that you carry yourself can make a big difference in how confident you feel. Try to stand up as straight as you can and maintain good posture when you walk as well. To maintain good posture, it might help you to imagine that you are balancing something on your head as you walk.
2-3. Dress up.
The way you feel about how you look can affect your confidence, so dress in clothes that make you feel good about your appearance. Choose clothes that fit well, flatter your body, and are of good quality.
Try to dress in clothes that suit the occasion as well. For example, if you are going to a job interview, then a suit or wear-to-work dress would make you feel more confident than a t-shirt and jeans.
2-4. Keep a success journal.
Focusing on the good parts of your life can help you to feel more confident and happy as well. Take a few minutes each day to write down something that went well for you. For example, you might write down a recent accomplishment and the skills that you’ve used to deal with hard situations.
2-5. Make a list of your strengths and achievements.
It might help you to make a list of all of your achievements, even ones that you may consider minor. People who lack self-confidence often focus more on failures than accomplishments, so it might be helpful to force yourself to look at the positives sometimes.
Think about why you are proud of these accomplishments as well. Identifying the reasons why some things make you feel proud may help you to feel proud when you have other similar accomplishments.
2-6. Share your accomplishments now and then.
Telling others about something that you did that made you feel proud is a healthy way to show your pride and gain support from others as well. Taking a moment to share your accomplishments now and then will make you feel better about yourself and may help to take your mind off of what other people might think of you.
For example, you could post a photo of yourself holding an award that you received for your grades or tell your friends at the gym that you improved your mile time.
2-7. Use hopeful statements to build yourself up.
Try to treat yourself with kindness rather than beating yourself up all of the time. For example, if you have a presentation coming up that has you worried, don’t tell yourself things like “I am going fail.” Instead, tell yourself something like, “This is going to be difficult, but I know that I can handle it.”
Also, remember that you are probably much tougher on yourself than you need to be. For example, you may beat yourself up for losing your place during a presentation, but your peers won’t care and may not even have noticed.
2-8. Forgive yourself.
Remember that it is important to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. Refusing to forgive yourself can interfere with your ability to be proud of yourself, so try to forgive yourself as soon as possible.
For example, rather than blaming yourself, try to tell yourself something like, “I made a mistake, but that’s okay. I am still a smart, capable person.”
2-9. Encourage yourself to do better.
To stay proud of yourself even when things do not go your way, you will need to get into the habit of encouraging yourself. If something does not go the way that you had planned, try to readjust your expectations and encourage yourself to do better next time.
For example, if a school project does not get the grade that you hoped for, you might tell yourself something like, “My project wasn’t perfect but the other students still seemed interested and asked questions. That means that I met my basic goal.”
Be patient with yourself. Making changes can take time, so just keep trying to do a little better each day.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Challenging Negative Thoughts\\n1-1. Identify something that you are grateful for.\\nComparing yourself to others is a common type of negative thinking. This practice can make it hard to feel any pride in yourself. If you notice that you are comparing yourself to others, it might help you to stop for a moment and identify something that you are grateful for.\\nFor example, when searching for something to feel grateful for, you might identify your good health or a loyal friend. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person.\\n1-2. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts.\\nSometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. If you have been stuck in a negative rut for a while, get up and go somewhere else.\\nFor example, you could try taking a walk outside or sitting in a different room of your house for a while.\\n1-3. Remind yourself that everyone has flaws.\\nSometimes negative thoughts may stem from a belief that you have flaws and no one else does. Try to remind yourself that everyone has flaws, even if you cannot see them.\\nFor example, an office mate might seem like she has it all, but that person might be dealing with some serious personal issues that you know nothing about.\\nTry not to beat yourself up over your flaws. Even if there are things you might like to change about yourself, throwing guilt in the mix isn't going to be helpful.\\n1-4. Stand up for yourself.\\nNo one has the right to hurt, insult, or intimidate you. If you are being bullied or criticized in a way that is interfering with your pride, then you may need to reach out to someone such as a teacher, counselor, or human resources manager to stand up for yourself.\\nRemember that people who bully and criticize others often do so because they are insecure about themselves. Realizing that someone who is picking on you may be lashing out because of their own person pain and problems may help you to cope with it a bit better. The criticism is not so much about you, then, as it is about their own feelings of inadequacy.\\n1-5. Learn to accept constructive criticism.\\nAlthough you should defend yourself against insults, it is important to be open to constructive criticism. Criticism can be hard to hear, even when it is constructive. Learning how to accept and respond to constructive criticism can help you to improve yourself and this can be a great source of pride.\\nTry to suppress your first reaction when getting criticism. Thank the person. Then, face what they have said head on. Spend some time over one or two days considering the criticism. Ask yourself what you can learn from the criticism?\\nSay that you get an essay back from a professor. You are hurt to find that your grade is a C- and that the instructor says your “ideas are hard to follow.” Rather than becoming angry, reread the paper with a fresh mind. It seemed clear enough when you wrote it. Is it still clear on a second read? Try to understand the criticism rather than pushing it away.\\n1-6. Turn negative thoughts into productive questions.\\nBlack and white, worst case scenario thinking is not rational or good for you. But you can make negative thoughts into productive questions that will help you to grow and succeed. The next time that you have a negative thought, try turning it into a question that will help you to work towards a goal.\\nFor example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’ll never find a new job,” stop and challenge that thought. It's not a fact, and it is coming from an unreliable source (your anxiety). Instead of accepting this negative thought, turn it into a question, such as, “What can I do to give myself the best chance of getting an interview?”\\n1-7. Stay away from negative people.\\nPut space between yourself and people who are often critical or negative about you. If possible, try to avoid these people and surround yourself with positive people instead. Sometimes it might not be possible to avoid a negative person, such as your boss or a close family member. In those cases, you may need to build yourself up before or after an encounter with the person.\\nTry positive self-talk. Before or after an encounter with a difficult person, it might help you to look yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. For example, you could say something like, “You are smart, capable, and hard-working!”\\n1-8. Seek the help of a therapist.\\nIf you find that overcoming negative thoughts is a constant struggle, talk to a licensed mental health professional. You might need some guidance to help you work through problems and to feel better about yourself. A therapist can help you to overcome negative thinking and may also help you to determine if you are depressed or struggling with a different mental health issue.\\n2. Building Yourself Up\\n2-1. Visualize yourself succeeding.\\nVisualizing yourself succeeding at something may also help to boost your confidence. Try to think of a time when you did feel confident and self-assured and recreate that moment in your head. Or, imagine yourself succeeding at something that you hope to achieve. You can repeat this process any time that you need a boost of confidence.\\nMake sure that you imagine yourself succeeding with as much detail as possible. How do you look? Who else is there? How do you feel? What do you say?\\n2-2. Stand up straight and walk with confidence.\\nThe way that you carry yourself can make a big difference in how confident you feel. Try to stand up as straight as you can and maintain good posture when you walk as well. To maintain good posture, it might help you to imagine that you are balancing something on your head as you walk.\\n2-3. Dress up.\\nThe way you feel about how you look can affect your confidence, so dress in clothes that make you feel good about your appearance. Choose clothes that fit well, flatter your body, and are of good quality.\\nTry to dress in clothes that suit the occasion as well. For example, if you are going to a job interview, then a suit or wear-to-work dress would make you feel more confident than a t-shirt and jeans.\\n2-4. Keep a success journal.\\nFocusing on the good parts of your life can help you to feel more confident and happy as well. Take a few minutes each day to write down something that went well for you. For example, you might write down a recent accomplishment and the skills that you’ve used to deal with hard situations.\\n2-5. Make a list of your strengths and achievements.\\nIt might help you to make a list of all of your achievements, even ones that you may consider minor. People who lack self-confidence often focus more on failures than accomplishments, so it might be helpful to force yourself to look at the positives sometimes.\\nThink about why you are proud of these accomplishments as well. Identifying the reasons why some things make you feel proud may help you to feel proud when you have other similar accomplishments.\\n2-6. Share your accomplishments now and then.\\nTelling others about something that you did that made you feel proud is a healthy way to show your pride and gain support from others as well. Taking a moment to share your accomplishments now and then will make you feel better about yourself and may help to take your mind off of what other people might think of you.\\nFor example, you could post a photo of yourself holding an award that you received for your grades or tell your friends at the gym that you improved your mile time.\\n2-7. Use hopeful statements to build yourself up.\\nTry to treat yourself with kindness rather than beating yourself up all of the time. For example, if you have a presentation coming up that has you worried, don’t tell yourself things like “I am going fail.” Instead, tell yourself something like, “This is going to be difficult, but I know that I can handle it.”\\nAlso, remember that you are probably much tougher on yourself than you need to be. For example, you may beat yourself up for losing your place during a presentation, but your peers won’t care and may not even have noticed.\\n2-8. Forgive yourself.\\nRemember that it is important to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. Refusing to forgive yourself can interfere with your ability to be proud of yourself, so try to forgive yourself as soon as possible.\\nFor example, rather than blaming yourself, try to tell yourself something like, “I made a mistake, but that’s okay. I am still a smart, capable person.”\\n2-9. Encourage yourself to do better.\\nTo stay proud of yourself even when things do not go your way, you will need to get into the habit of encouraging yourself. If something does not go the way that you had planned, try to readjust your expectations and encourage yourself to do better next time.\\nFor example, if a school project does not get the grade that you hoped for, you might tell yourself something like, “My project wasn’t perfect but the other students still seemed interested and asked questions. That means that I met my basic goal.”\\nBe patient with yourself. Making changes can take time, so just keep trying to do a little better each day.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Pride and self-confidence come from healthy self-esteem, the positive beliefs that you hold about yourself, your talents, and your accomplishments. Low self-esteem can cause you to feel bad about yourself. Low self-esteem can also make it hard to feel proud of yourself, and may even cause serious mental health issues. To improve your ability to feel proud of yourself, you can use some simple strategies to challenge negative thoughts and build up your confidence.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Challenging Negative Thoughts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify something that you are grateful for.\", \"描述\": \"Comparing yourself to others is a common type of negative thinking. This practice can make it hard to feel any pride in yourself. If you notice that you are comparing yourself to others, it might help you to stop for a moment and identify something that you are grateful for.\\nFor example, when searching for something to feel grateful for, you might identify your good health or a loyal friend. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Move away from the source of your negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. If you have been stuck in a negative rut for a while, get up and go somewhere else.\\nFor example, you could try taking a walk outside or sitting in a different room of your house for a while.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself that everyone has flaws.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes negative thoughts may stem from a belief that you have flaws and no one else does. Try to remind yourself that everyone has flaws, even if you cannot see them.\\nFor example, an office mate might seem like she has it all, but that person might be dealing with some serious personal issues that you know nothing about.\\nTry not to beat yourself up over your flaws. Even if there are things you might like to change about yourself, throwing guilt in the mix isn't going to be helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stand up for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"No one has the right to hurt, insult, or intimidate you. If you are being bullied or criticized in a way that is interfering with your pride, then you may need to reach out to someone such as a teacher, counselor, or human resources manager to stand up for yourself.\\nRemember that people who bully and criticize others often do so because they are insecure about themselves. Realizing that someone who is picking on you may be lashing out because of their own person pain and problems may help you to cope with it a bit better. The criticism is not so much about you, then, as it is about their own feelings of inadequacy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn to accept constructive criticism.\", \"描述\": \"Although you should defend yourself against insults, it is important to be open to constructive criticism. Criticism can be hard to hear, even when it is constructive. Learning how to accept and respond to constructive criticism can help you to improve yourself and this can be a great source of pride.\\nTry to suppress your first reaction when getting criticism. Thank the person. Then, face what they have said head on. Spend some time over one or two days considering the criticism. Ask yourself what you can learn from the criticism?\\nSay that you get an essay back from a professor. You are hurt to find that your grade is a C- and that the instructor says your “ideas are hard to follow.” Rather than becoming angry, reread the paper with a fresh mind. It seemed clear enough when you wrote it. Is it still clear on a second read? Try to understand the criticism rather than pushing it away.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Turn negative thoughts into productive questions.\", \"描述\": \"Black and white, worst case scenario thinking is not rational or good for you. But you can make negative thoughts into productive questions that will help you to grow and succeed. The next time that you have a negative thought, try turning it into a question that will help you to work towards a goal.\\nFor example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’ll never find a new job,” stop and challenge that thought. It's not a fact, and it is coming from an unreliable source (your anxiety). Instead of accepting this negative thought, turn it into a question, such as, “What can I do to give myself the best chance of getting an interview?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay away from negative people.\", \"描述\": \"Put space between yourself and people who are often critical or negative about you. If possible, try to avoid these people and surround yourself with positive people instead. Sometimes it might not be possible to avoid a negative person, such as your boss or a close family member. In those cases, you may need to build yourself up before or after an encounter with the person.\\nTry positive self-talk. Before or after an encounter with a difficult person, it might help you to look yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. For example, you could say something like, “You are smart, capable, and hard-working!”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Seek the help of a therapist.\", \"描述\": \"If you find that overcoming negative thoughts is a constant struggle, talk to a licensed mental health professional. You might need some guidance to help you work through problems and to feel better about yourself. A therapist can help you to overcome negative thinking and may also help you to determine if you are depressed or struggling with a different mental health issue.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Building Yourself Up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visualize yourself succeeding.\", \"描述\": \"Visualizing yourself succeeding at something may also help to boost your confidence. Try to think of a time when you did feel confident and self-assured and recreate that moment in your head. Or, imagine yourself succeeding at something that you hope to achieve. You can repeat this process any time that you need a boost of confidence.\\nMake sure that you imagine yourself succeeding with as much detail as possible. How do you look? Who else is there? How do you feel? What do you say?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stand up straight and walk with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"The way that you carry yourself can make a big difference in how confident you feel. Try to stand up as straight as you can and maintain good posture when you walk as well. To maintain good posture, it might help you to imagine that you are balancing something on your head as you walk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress up.\", \"描述\": \"The way you feel about how you look can affect your confidence, so dress in clothes that make you feel good about your appearance. Choose clothes that fit well, flatter your body, and are of good quality.\\nTry to dress in clothes that suit the occasion as well. For example, if you are going to a job interview, then a suit or wear-to-work dress would make you feel more confident than a t-shirt and jeans.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep a success journal.\", \"描述\": \"Focusing on the good parts of your life can help you to feel more confident and happy as well. Take a few minutes each day to write down something that went well for you. For example, you might write down a recent accomplishment and the skills that you’ve used to deal with hard situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your strengths and achievements.\", \"描述\": \"It might help you to make a list of all of your achievements, even ones that you may consider minor. People who lack self-confidence often focus more on failures than accomplishments, so it might be helpful to force yourself to look at the positives sometimes.\\nThink about why you are proud of these accomplishments as well. Identifying the reasons why some things make you feel proud may help you to feel proud when you have other similar accomplishments.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Share your accomplishments now and then.\", \"描述\": \"Telling others about something that you did that made you feel proud is a healthy way to show your pride and gain support from others as well. Taking a moment to share your accomplishments now and then will make you feel better about yourself and may help to take your mind off of what other people might think of you.\\nFor example, you could post a photo of yourself holding an award that you received for your grades or tell your friends at the gym that you improved your mile time.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use hopeful statements to build yourself up.\", \"描述\": \"Try to treat yourself with kindness rather than beating yourself up all of the time. For example, if you have a presentation coming up that has you worried, don’t tell yourself things like “I am going fail.” Instead, tell yourself something like, “This is going to be difficult, but I know that I can handle it.”\\nAlso, remember that you are probably much tougher on yourself than you need to be. For example, you may beat yourself up for losing your place during a presentation, but your peers won’t care and may not even have noticed.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that it is important to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. Refusing to forgive yourself can interfere with your ability to be proud of yourself, so try to forgive yourself as soon as possible.\\nFor example, rather than blaming yourself, try to tell yourself something like, “I made a mistake, but that’s okay. I am still a smart, capable person.”\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Encourage yourself to do better.\", \"描述\": \"To stay proud of yourself even when things do not go your way, you will need to get into the habit of encouraging yourself. If something does not go the way that you had planned, try to readjust your expectations and encourage yourself to do better next time.\\nFor example, if a school project does not get the grade that you hoped for, you might tell yourself something like, “My project wasn’t perfect but the other students still seemed interested and asked questions. That means that I met my basic goal.”\\nBe patient with yourself. Making changes can take time, so just keep trying to do a little better each day.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,073 | How to Be Proud of Your Appearance | 1. Ignore media beauty standards.
Modern beauty standards aren’t attainable for most people.
With photo editing and filters, even celebrities don’t look like the photos of themselves most of the time! It can be tough to change your mindset, but remind yourself that most beauty standards aren’t realistic, and you shouldn’t hold yourself to them.
If you’re feeling intimidated by media beauty standards, criticize them in return. You might say something like, “What’s so special about being a size 0?” or “Who cares if I look like the celebrities in magazines?”
Most celebrity pictures are edited to eliminate flaws and make the person look skinnier. Celebrities themselves recommend not comparing yourself to magazine covers and photoshoots!
2. List all the positives that your body does for you.
Focus on what your body can do instead of what it can’t.
Your body can run, dance, sing, dream, laugh, yell, and so much more! If you find yourself being critical of how you look, run through the list of things that your body does for you. It can help shift your perspective and make you thankful about your appearance instead of critical.
It might help to sit down and write a list of all the things your body does for you. That way, if you catch yourself in a bad mood, you can whip out your list for a little boost.
3. Practice observing yourself without judgement.
It can be really hard to look in the mirror without feeling critical.
That’s okay! The next time you’re in front of the mirror, just observe yourself instead of being judgmental or critical. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t quite shake your negative thoughts—instead, just acknowledge that these thoughts are negative and try observing yourself again later.
4. Write down compliments that other people give you.
They can really boost your confidence when you feel down.
It’s really easy to brush off compliments at first. Instead, grab a spare notebook and jot down exactly what that person said about you, whether it had to with your appearance, personality, or something else. After a week or so, flip through those compliments and really let them sink in.
When you write down a compliment, you’re forcing yourself to really think about it.
A compliment could be something as simple as “I like your shirt” or “Your hair looks great today.”
5. Let negative comments go.
You can’t please everyone, and that’s okay.
Remind yourself that you have control over your thoughts and feelings. If someone criticizes you or makes a judgmental comment, redirect your thoughts and energy to challenging their statement. Chances are, your feelings will match up with your attitude.
For example, if someone makes a negative comment about your outfit, think to yourself, “I look great in this outfit” or “They have no idea what they’re talking about.”
At the end of the day, your thoughts and opinions about your appearance are the only ones that matter.
6. Foster self-love in a gratitude journal.
Jot down the aspects of your appearance that you like.
Each day, write down what parts of your appearance you’re thankful for, even if they’re insignificant. Writing down your strengths might help you feel a lot more positive and proud of your appearance.
For instance, write something like “I’m grateful for my long arms, which can stretch and reach almost anything.”
Write down other things you’re grateful for, even if they aren’t related to your appearance.
7. Repeat positive affirmations.
Say them to yourself whenever you’re feeling down.
It’s perfectly okay and understandable if some days are rougher than others. Hold onto a few positive affirmations to help ground yourself, so you can feel positive and proud of your appearance.
You can say something like, “I am allowed to take up space” or “My body radiates beauty and strength.”
You might also say something like, “My body will carry me where I want to go” or “I deserve to feel comfortable and confident.”
8. Challenge your negative thoughts.
Stop and question negative thoughts instead of accepting them as true.
Often, we think negatively about ourselves without even realizing it. If you catch yourself thinking something like, “I’m so ugly,” challenge it. Ask yourself, “Why do I think that?” “Do I have any proof?”
The more often you challenge these thoughts, the easier it will be to get rid of them.
9. Be kind to yourself.
Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a loved one.
Oftentimes, we’re much more critical of ourselves than we are of others. If you catch yourself thinking badly about your appearance, ask yourself if you’d talk to a friend that way. Then, adjust your thinking until you’d be comfortable telling a friend the same things you tell yourself.
For example, you’d never tell a friend, “You look so ugly today.” Instead, change it into a kindness by thinking, “Even though I’m not wearing makeup, my skin still looks really good.”
10. Lean on your loved ones for extra support.
They can really give you a confidence boost when you need it.
It can be tough to see the glass half-full when it comes to your own appearance. Let your loved ones carry some of that weight for you! Tell them how you’ve been feeling—they’ll definitely have something uplifting or supporting to tell you.
True friends will always care for you no matter what you look like.
11. Make an effort to smile more.
It’s a great way to boost your mood and feel confident.
Before heading out and about, plaster on a smile—you might be surprised at how different you feel! You’ll also seem more approachable and friendly, which can lead to better friendships and relationships.
12. Wear comfy clothes that flatter your shape.
Skip over the tight, uncomfortable clothes in your closet or wardrobe.
If you’re wearing clothes that don’t fit quite right or make you uncomfortable, you probably aren’t going to feel great about your appearance for the day. Instead, pick an outfit that really suits your body type—this way, you can feel confident, comfortable, and proud throughout the day.
For instance, you might wear a pair of jeggings instead of a tight pair of skinny jeans.
You might switch out a comfortable T-shirt instead of a cramped polo shirt.
It’s okay if you don’t feel confident at first! There’s nothing wrong with having a “fake it until you make it” attitude.
13. Stick to a diet and exercise routine.
Diet and exercise play a large role in our appearance.
Instead of trying to lose weight or meet a certain beauty standard, just focus on eating healthy, balanced meals and exercising a few times per week. When you feel good, you look good, too!
Everyone’s diet is slightly different, and the same meal plan won’t work for everyone. In general, try to eat 3 balanced meals per day with plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains.
Aim for getting 30 minutes of exercise per day, 5 days a week. You could try jogging, swimming, jumping rope, weight training, or cycling as a fun way to stay healthy.
14. Don’t weigh yourself constantly.
Resist the urge to weigh yourself every day.
Believe it or not, your actual weight can shift between 4 and 6 lb (1.8 and 2.7 kg) throughout the day, depending on when you weigh yourself. Besides, your weight is just a number—it doesn’t define your beauty, worth, or appearance. If needed, step on the scale once a week to get idea of where you’re at, instead of checking religiously each day.
You might feel better if you throw out your scale altogether.
Tips
Take a step back and count how many times you typically criticize or think negatively in a single day. Try to stop these thoughts in their tracks to change your self-image.[16]
X
Research source
Ultimately, self-acceptance starts with a single choice. If you make an active choice to love and accept yourself, your personal view of yourself will change for the better.[17]
X
Research source
Celebrate everyone’s differences. People come in all shapes and sizes—there’s no right or wrong body type to have! The next time you’re in a public place, like a gym or grocery, take a look at some of the people nearby. This is a great way to remind yourself that it’s okay to look different than the people around you.[18]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ignore media beauty standards.\\nModern beauty standards aren’t attainable for most people.\\nWith photo editing and filters, even celebrities don’t look like the photos of themselves most of the time! It can be tough to change your mindset, but remind yourself that most beauty standards aren’t realistic, and you shouldn’t hold yourself to them.\\nIf you’re feeling intimidated by media beauty standards, criticize them in return. You might say something like, “What’s so special about being a size 0?” or “Who cares if I look like the celebrities in magazines?”\\nMost celebrity pictures are edited to eliminate flaws and make the person look skinnier. Celebrities themselves recommend not comparing yourself to magazine covers and photoshoots!\\n2. List all the positives that your body does for you.\\nFocus on what your body can do instead of what it can’t.\\nYour body can run, dance, sing, dream, laugh, yell, and so much more! If you find yourself being critical of how you look, run through the list of things that your body does for you. It can help shift your perspective and make you thankful about your appearance instead of critical.\\nIt might help to sit down and write a list of all the things your body does for you. That way, if you catch yourself in a bad mood, you can whip out your list for a little boost.\\n3. Practice observing yourself without judgement.\\nIt can be really hard to look in the mirror without feeling critical.\\nThat’s okay! The next time you’re in front of the mirror, just observe yourself instead of being judgmental or critical. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t quite shake your negative thoughts—instead, just acknowledge that these thoughts are negative and try observing yourself again later.\\n4. Write down compliments that other people give you.\\nThey can really boost your confidence when you feel down.\\nIt’s really easy to brush off compliments at first. Instead, grab a spare notebook and jot down exactly what that person said about you, whether it had to with your appearance, personality, or something else. After a week or so, flip through those compliments and really let them sink in.\\nWhen you write down a compliment, you’re forcing yourself to really think about it.\\nA compliment could be something as simple as “I like your shirt” or “Your hair looks great today.”\\n5. Let negative comments go.\\nYou can’t please everyone, and that’s okay.\\nRemind yourself that you have control over your thoughts and feelings. If someone criticizes you or makes a judgmental comment, redirect your thoughts and energy to challenging their statement. Chances are, your feelings will match up with your attitude.\\nFor example, if someone makes a negative comment about your outfit, think to yourself, “I look great in this outfit” or “They have no idea what they’re talking about.”\\nAt the end of the day, your thoughts and opinions about your appearance are the only ones that matter.\\n6. Foster self-love in a gratitude journal.\\nJot down the aspects of your appearance that you like.\\nEach day, write down what parts of your appearance you’re thankful for, even if they’re insignificant. Writing down your strengths might help you feel a lot more positive and proud of your appearance.\\nFor instance, write something like “I’m grateful for my long arms, which can stretch and reach almost anything.”\\nWrite down other things you’re grateful for, even if they aren’t related to your appearance.\\n7. Repeat positive affirmations.\\nSay them to yourself whenever you’re feeling down.\\nIt’s perfectly okay and understandable if some days are rougher than others. Hold onto a few positive affirmations to help ground yourself, so you can feel positive and proud of your appearance.\\nYou can say something like, “I am allowed to take up space” or “My body radiates beauty and strength.”\\nYou might also say something like, “My body will carry me where I want to go” or “I deserve to feel comfortable and confident.”\\n8. Challenge your negative thoughts.\\nStop and question negative thoughts instead of accepting them as true.\\nOften, we think negatively about ourselves without even realizing it. If you catch yourself thinking something like, “I’m so ugly,” challenge it. Ask yourself, “Why do I think that?” “Do I have any proof?”\\nThe more often you challenge these thoughts, the easier it will be to get rid of them.\\n9. Be kind to yourself.\\nTalk to yourself like you’d talk to a loved one.\\nOftentimes, we’re much more critical of ourselves than we are of others. If you catch yourself thinking badly about your appearance, ask yourself if you’d talk to a friend that way. Then, adjust your thinking until you’d be comfortable telling a friend the same things you tell yourself.\\nFor example, you’d never tell a friend, “You look so ugly today.” Instead, change it into a kindness by thinking, “Even though I’m not wearing makeup, my skin still looks really good.”\\n10. Lean on your loved ones for extra support.\\nThey can really give you a confidence boost when you need it.\\nIt can be tough to see the glass half-full when it comes to your own appearance. Let your loved ones carry some of that weight for you! Tell them how you’ve been feeling—they’ll definitely have something uplifting or supporting to tell you.\\nTrue friends will always care for you no matter what you look like.\\n11. Make an effort to smile more.\\nIt’s a great way to boost your mood and feel confident.\\nBefore heading out and about, plaster on a smile—you might be surprised at how different you feel! You’ll also seem more approachable and friendly, which can lead to better friendships and relationships.\\n12. Wear comfy clothes that flatter your shape.\\nSkip over the tight, uncomfortable clothes in your closet or wardrobe.\\nIf you’re wearing clothes that don’t fit quite right or make you uncomfortable, you probably aren’t going to feel great about your appearance for the day. Instead, pick an outfit that really suits your body type—this way, you can feel confident, comfortable, and proud throughout the day.\\nFor instance, you might wear a pair of jeggings instead of a tight pair of skinny jeans.\\nYou might switch out a comfortable T-shirt instead of a cramped polo shirt.\\nIt’s okay if you don’t feel confident at first! There’s nothing wrong with having a “fake it until you make it” attitude.\\n13. Stick to a diet and exercise routine.\\nDiet and exercise play a large role in our appearance.\\nInstead of trying to lose weight or meet a certain beauty standard, just focus on eating healthy, balanced meals and exercising a few times per week. When you feel good, you look good, too!\\nEveryone’s diet is slightly different, and the same meal plan won’t work for everyone. In general, try to eat 3 balanced meals per day with plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains.\\nAim for getting 30 minutes of exercise per day, 5 days a week. You could try jogging, swimming, jumping rope, weight training, or cycling as a fun way to stay healthy.\\n14. Don’t weigh yourself constantly.\\nResist the urge to weigh yourself every day.\\nBelieve it or not, your actual weight can shift between 4 and 6 lb (1.8 and 2.7 kg) throughout the day, depending on when you weigh yourself. Besides, your weight is just a number—it doesn’t define your beauty, worth, or appearance. If needed, step on the scale once a week to get idea of where you’re at, instead of checking religiously each day.\\nYou might feel better if you throw out your scale altogether.\\nTips\\nTake a step back and count how many times you typically criticize or think negatively in a single day. Try to stop these thoughts in their tracks to change your self-image.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nUltimately, self-acceptance starts with a single choice. If you make an active choice to love and accept yourself, your personal view of yourself will change for the better.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nCelebrate everyone’s differences. People come in all shapes and sizes—there’s no right or wrong body type to have! The next time you’re in a public place, like a gym or grocery, take a look at some of the people nearby. This is a great way to remind yourself that it’s okay to look different than the people around you.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Self-confidence can be a really slippery slope, especially if you tend to be hard on yourself. Don’t worry—there are plenty of easy, constructive ways you can build your confidence, and feel really proud of the way you look. We’ll start with tips to help you work through feelings you might be experiencing, then get into ideas for improving your self-image and creating healthy, body-positive habits.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ignore media beauty standards.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Modern beauty standards aren’t attainable for most people.\", \"描述\": \"With photo editing and filters, even celebrities don’t look like the photos of themselves most of the time! It can be tough to change your mindset, but remind yourself that most beauty standards aren’t realistic, and you shouldn’t hold yourself to them.\\nIf you’re feeling intimidated by media beauty standards, criticize them in return. You might say something like, “What’s so special about being a size 0?” or “Who cares if I look like the celebrities in magazines?”\\nMost celebrity pictures are edited to eliminate flaws and make the person look skinnier. Celebrities themselves recommend not comparing yourself to magazine covers and photoshoots!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"List all the positives that your body does for you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on what your body can do instead of what it can’t.\", \"描述\": \"Your body can run, dance, sing, dream, laugh, yell, and so much more! If you find yourself being critical of how you look, run through the list of things that your body does for you. It can help shift your perspective and make you thankful about your appearance instead of critical.\\nIt might help to sit down and write a list of all the things your body does for you. That way, if you catch yourself in a bad mood, you can whip out your list for a little boost.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice observing yourself without judgement.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It can be really hard to look in the mirror without feeling critical.\", \"描述\": \"That’s okay! The next time you’re in front of the mirror, just observe yourself instead of being judgmental or critical. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t quite shake your negative thoughts—instead, just acknowledge that these thoughts are negative and try observing yourself again later.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write down compliments that other people give you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They can really boost your confidence when you feel down.\", \"描述\": \"It’s really easy to brush off compliments at first. Instead, grab a spare notebook and jot down exactly what that person said about you, whether it had to with your appearance, personality, or something else. After a week or so, flip through those compliments and really let them sink in.\\nWhen you write down a compliment, you’re forcing yourself to really think about it.\\nA compliment could be something as simple as “I like your shirt” or “Your hair looks great today.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let negative comments go.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can’t please everyone, and that’s okay.\", \"描述\": \"Remind yourself that you have control over your thoughts and feelings. If someone criticizes you or makes a judgmental comment, redirect your thoughts and energy to challenging their statement. Chances are, your feelings will match up with your attitude.\\nFor example, if someone makes a negative comment about your outfit, think to yourself, “I look great in this outfit” or “They have no idea what they’re talking about.”\\nAt the end of the day, your thoughts and opinions about your appearance are the only ones that matter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Foster self-love in a gratitude journal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Jot down the aspects of your appearance that you like.\", \"描述\": \"Each day, write down what parts of your appearance you’re thankful for, even if they’re insignificant. Writing down your strengths might help you feel a lot more positive and proud of your appearance.\\nFor instance, write something like “I’m grateful for my long arms, which can stretch and reach almost anything.”\\nWrite down other things you’re grateful for, even if they aren’t related to your appearance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Repeat positive affirmations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say them to yourself whenever you’re feeling down.\", \"描述\": \"It’s perfectly okay and understandable if some days are rougher than others. Hold onto a few positive affirmations to help ground yourself, so you can feel positive and proud of your appearance.\\nYou can say something like, “I am allowed to take up space” or “My body radiates beauty and strength.”\\nYou might also say something like, “My body will carry me where I want to go” or “I deserve to feel comfortable and confident.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Challenge your negative thoughts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop and question negative thoughts instead of accepting them as true.\", \"描述\": \"Often, we think negatively about ourselves without even realizing it. If you catch yourself thinking something like, “I’m so ugly,” challenge it. Ask yourself, “Why do I think that?” “Do I have any proof?”\\nThe more often you challenge these thoughts, the easier it will be to get rid of them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a loved one.\", \"描述\": \"Oftentimes, we’re much more critical of ourselves than we are of others. If you catch yourself thinking badly about your appearance, ask yourself if you’d talk to a friend that way. Then, adjust your thinking until you’d be comfortable telling a friend the same things you tell yourself.\\nFor example, you’d never tell a friend, “You look so ugly today.” Instead, change it into a kindness by thinking, “Even though I’m not wearing makeup, my skin still looks really good.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Lean on your loved ones for extra support.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They can really give you a confidence boost when you need it.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tough to see the glass half-full when it comes to your own appearance. Let your loved ones carry some of that weight for you! Tell them how you’ve been feeling—they’ll definitely have something uplifting or supporting to tell you.\\nTrue friends will always care for you no matter what you look like.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to smile more.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a great way to boost your mood and feel confident.\", \"描述\": \"Before heading out and about, plaster on a smile—you might be surprised at how different you feel! You’ll also seem more approachable and friendly, which can lead to better friendships and relationships.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Wear comfy clothes that flatter your shape.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Skip over the tight, uncomfortable clothes in your closet or wardrobe.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re wearing clothes that don’t fit quite right or make you uncomfortable, you probably aren’t going to feel great about your appearance for the day. Instead, pick an outfit that really suits your body type—this way, you can feel confident, comfortable, and proud throughout the day.\\nFor instance, you might wear a pair of jeggings instead of a tight pair of skinny jeans.\\nYou might switch out a comfortable T-shirt instead of a cramped polo shirt.\\nIt’s okay if you don’t feel confident at first! There’s nothing wrong with having a “fake it until you make it” attitude.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Stick to a diet and exercise routine.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Diet and exercise play a large role in our appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of trying to lose weight or meet a certain beauty standard, just focus on eating healthy, balanced meals and exercising a few times per week. When you feel good, you look good, too!\\nEveryone’s diet is slightly different, and the same meal plan won’t work for everyone. In general, try to eat 3 balanced meals per day with plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains.\\nAim for getting 30 minutes of exercise per day, 5 days a week. You could try jogging, swimming, jumping rope, weight training, or cycling as a fun way to stay healthy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Don’t weigh yourself constantly.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to weigh yourself every day.\", \"描述\": \"Believe it or not, your actual weight can shift between 4 and 6 lb (1.8 and 2.7 kg) throughout the day, depending on when you weigh yourself. Besides, your weight is just a number—it doesn’t define your beauty, worth, or appearance. If needed, step on the scale once a week to get idea of where you’re at, instead of checking religiously each day.\\nYou might feel better if you throw out your scale altogether.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take a step back and count how many times you typically criticize or think negatively in a single day. Try to stop these thoughts in their tracks to change your self-image.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Ultimately, self-acceptance starts with a single choice. If you make an active choice to love and accept yourself, your personal view of yourself will change for the better.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Celebrate everyone’s differences. People come in all shapes and sizes—there’s no right or wrong body type to have! The next time you’re in a public place, like a gym or grocery, take a look at some of the people nearby. This is a great way to remind yourself that it’s okay to look different than the people around you.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,074 | How to Be Proud to Be Black | 1. Loving Who You Are
1-1. Embrace personal traits beyond your appearance.
Find the character traits or personal strengths that you like about yourself. Give yourself credit for them. You have inherent value as a person, and you need to start highlighting all that you are. Of course, this includes your skin color, but also other less-noticeable traits, such as how you treat others, your intelligence, your goals, and your personal values and beliefs.
Sure, being black is a huge part of who you are, but it’s not the only and maybe even not the most important part. It depends on you. Make a list of all the things you enjoy about yourself excluding any characteristics relating to your appearance.
Your list might include attributes like persistence, compassion, friendliness, intellect, kindness, or hard-working. Pin this list in your car's visor or attach it to a notepad or something you see daily. Take the time to regularly reminisce on all your great qualities.
1-2. Define beauty by your own terms.
Now that you have identified which characteristics about yourself make you awesome and valuable irrespective of race, consider your physical appearance. You may have been raised in an area in which black beauty was not recognized as such. You may have begun to view yourself as the “other”, as if your own looks were unacceptable compared to what’s being portrayed in the TV or in magazines.
If you could close your ears to society, what would you truly think about your skin color and other physical features?
Go and stand in front of your mirror. Take a good long look at your reflection. Pay attention to your thoughts about yourself. Are they judging or critical? Aim to shut them off, and instead view yourself through the lens of a mother or a lover. What would this person say about your appearance?
Whenever you examine your appearance, strive to shut off that part of yourself that is comparing it to what’s depicted in the media. Look at yourself as if for the first time. Now, what is it that you truly like about yourself? Is it your pouty lips, wide nose, kinky hair, or smooth-as-coffee complexion?
1-3. Find a black role model you admire.
A great way to adopt a greater sense of pride for your race and culture is to find someone who represents it well. This individual(s) can be anyone, from anywhere. It can be a parent, a teacher, a coach, or someone you don’t know like a famous person. Know that you have just as much potential to affect the world around you as these individuals. You matter, too.
If you are into entertainment, your role model could be Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, Beyoncé Knowles, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Morgan Freeman, Hale Berry, Jamie Foxx, Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, India Arie… the list is endless.
If you are looking for an intellectual or philosophical role model, consider Toussaint Louverture, Booker T Washington, Jean-Jacques Dessalines, Marcus Garvey, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Malcolm X, Kwame Nkrumah, Martin Luther King, Jr., Stuart Hall, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Toni Morrison, and, of course, Barack Obama.
1-4. Talk to your parents or someone else about your feelings.
It could be helpful to share your feelings with someone who cares about you—a parent, sibling, or close friend. Be honest in how you are feeling. Ask the person if he or she has ever felt similarly. Listen carefully to the responses.
If your confidants, too, once had trouble feeling pride in their racial background, they may be able to relate to what you are going through. What’s more, these people may be able to offer helpful solutions as to how they developed a sense of pride in their blackness.
2. Accepting Your Cultural Heritage
2-1. Learn more about your personal and cultural history.
Doing research on your personal history can help you to develop a stronger understanding for how you and your family came to be in addition to the hardships your ancestors may have overcome. You can start by asking your parents or grandparents questions about your ancestry. Then, you may be able to conduct an internet search or get your genealogy completed online. Figuring out where your family came from can give you a better idea of who you truly are.
If you are African American, your family may have come to this country during times of oppression and slavery. Remember that you are only here today because they survived these times and had children who carried their heritage onto the next generation, who also had to fight to continue their family. You are their legacy. You are what they fought to preserve for over 300 years, in a society that did not value the lives of black people. That is definitely something you should be proud of.
If you are a dark-skinned person from another country of origin, learn about your people's ancestry. Ask your parents and grandparents to tell your stories about your family history so that you can better identify with your race and culture.
2-2. Consider the plight of your people.
Changes in attitude towards blacks only occurred because of the brave people who stood up for the rights of themselves and others. They did not accept their fate as outcasts and demanded the respect they--and you-- deserve. Inform yourself about these historical figures from America and beyond, such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela.
Find modern, present-day writers and bloggers who are carrying on this fight to learn what’s happening today in terms of racial activism. Some examples of writers may include Ta-Nehisi Coates, Claudia Rankine, and Black Girl Dangerous.
2-3. Search for aspects of your culture that resonate with you.
If you have trouble being proud of your black heritage, it may be due to the negativity that is frequently repeated in the media about people of color. Oftentimes, the good is not highlighted, only the bad. To counteract this, find meaningful contributions of black culture that you enjoy.
Do you like African-American, Haitian, Jamaican, Somalian (or some other form of black culture) fashion, music, food, or dancing? You can represent pride in your heritage by taking on one of these positive contributions of the black culture that you like. Or, you can learn more about the history of these cultural symbols to gain a sense of pride.
2-4. Shake off the desire to disown your race or culture.
Being proud to be black can be especially challenging when you are one of few in a certain profession, geographical location, or other group. Furthermore, this can be difficult when blacks are being portrayed negatively in the media. When your race is not being represented at all, or is being negatively represented, it may seem easier to adopt the habits of whites, who are more socially accepted.
It can be very uncomfortable to stand out. However, you must overcome the desire to fit in if it means disowning who you are.
3. Overcoming Stereotypes
3-1. Understand colorism.
Even amongst people of color, there exists a divide. Colorism involves placing a higher value on lighter skin than on darker-hued skin. It occurs within families and communities of people of color (that’s right, Hispanics and Asians deal with this issue, too), causing lighter-skinned individuals to be met with higher favor than darker-skinned individuals, who often are thought to be more authentic representations of a certain race.
Colorism is the result of internalized pro-white beauty ideals and dates back to colonialism, inspiring feelings of inferiority and self-hate. Read about it. Think about how it has contributed to your perception of your body, skin, and hair.
3-2. Question why your skin color bothers you.
In order to gain a true sense of pride in your blackness, you need to uncover the source of your shame. Do you live in a neighborhood where you are the only black person around? Are people mistreating you at school or at work? Are the role models you see on TV or in magazines all Caucasian and blond? Write down the reasons on a piece of paper.
After writing down some of the reasons, evaluate them. Find the explanation for the occurrences that make you feel bad about yourself. For example, there is a vast under-representation of black people in the media, in magazines, movies, TV shows, and books—virtually everywhere.
Your lack of pride is not something to be ashamed of. It is a normal human reaction to feel invisible and worthless if you cannot find anyone like you in the images surrounding you every day. This is harmful and wrong.
3-3. Seek access to people who are not prejudiced.
Use the internet to connect to them. Read blogs about body positivity which represent black people and draw attention to their bodies and their inherent value. Remember that the bigoted people who state their opinions the loudest might attract the most attention, but that doesn't mean their beliefs are reflective of everyone else.
One of the best ways to overcome prejudice is to try to spend more time with people who are different from you. Aim to make friends with someone from a different race. Doing so can help this person change their viewpoints of your race, and it may even sway some of your own beliefs about other races.
3-4. Stand up for yourself.
Don't make it easy for the people who pick on you. If you believe them and have a low esteem of yourself, they are succeeding. Be indignant over being badly treated. Allow yourself to be angry. You don't deserve to be treated badly.
If you are not sure how you can take a stand against racism, research local and national groups online who are raising awareness about these issues.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Loving Who You Are\\n1-1. Embrace personal traits beyond your appearance.\\nFind the character traits or personal strengths that you like about yourself. Give yourself credit for them. You have inherent value as a person, and you need to start highlighting all that you are. Of course, this includes your skin color, but also other less-noticeable traits, such as how you treat others, your intelligence, your goals, and your personal values and beliefs.\\nSure, being black is a huge part of who you are, but it’s not the only and maybe even not the most important part. It depends on you. Make a list of all the things you enjoy about yourself excluding any characteristics relating to your appearance.\\nYour list might include attributes like persistence, compassion, friendliness, intellect, kindness, or hard-working. Pin this list in your car's visor or attach it to a notepad or something you see daily. Take the time to regularly reminisce on all your great qualities.\\n1-2. Define beauty by your own terms.\\nNow that you have identified which characteristics about yourself make you awesome and valuable irrespective of race, consider your physical appearance. You may have been raised in an area in which black beauty was not recognized as such. You may have begun to view yourself as the “other”, as if your own looks were unacceptable compared to what’s being portrayed in the TV or in magazines.\\nIf you could close your ears to society, what would you truly think about your skin color and other physical features?\\nGo and stand in front of your mirror. Take a good long look at your reflection. Pay attention to your thoughts about yourself. Are they judging or critical? Aim to shut them off, and instead view yourself through the lens of a mother or a lover. What would this person say about your appearance?\\nWhenever you examine your appearance, strive to shut off that part of yourself that is comparing it to what’s depicted in the media. Look at yourself as if for the first time. Now, what is it that you truly like about yourself? Is it your pouty lips, wide nose, kinky hair, or smooth-as-coffee complexion?\\n1-3. Find a black role model you admire.\\nA great way to adopt a greater sense of pride for your race and culture is to find someone who represents it well. This individual(s) can be anyone, from anywhere. It can be a parent, a teacher, a coach, or someone you don’t know like a famous person. Know that you have just as much potential to affect the world around you as these individuals. You matter, too.\\nIf you are into entertainment, your role model could be Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, Beyoncé Knowles, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Morgan Freeman, Hale Berry, Jamie Foxx, Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, India Arie… the list is endless.\\nIf you are looking for an intellectual or philosophical role model, consider Toussaint Louverture, Booker T Washington, Jean-Jacques Dessalines, Marcus Garvey, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Malcolm X, Kwame Nkrumah, Martin Luther King, Jr., Stuart Hall, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Toni Morrison, and, of course, Barack Obama.\\n1-4. Talk to your parents or someone else about your feelings.\\nIt could be helpful to share your feelings with someone who cares about you—a parent, sibling, or close friend. Be honest in how you are feeling. Ask the person if he or she has ever felt similarly. Listen carefully to the responses.\\nIf your confidants, too, once had trouble feeling pride in their racial background, they may be able to relate to what you are going through. What’s more, these people may be able to offer helpful solutions as to how they developed a sense of pride in their blackness.\\n2. Accepting Your Cultural Heritage\\n2-1. Learn more about your personal and cultural history.\\nDoing research on your personal history can help you to develop a stronger understanding for how you and your family came to be in addition to the hardships your ancestors may have overcome. You can start by asking your parents or grandparents questions about your ancestry. Then, you may be able to conduct an internet search or get your genealogy completed online. Figuring out where your family came from can give you a better idea of who you truly are.\\nIf you are African American, your family may have come to this country during times of oppression and slavery. Remember that you are only here today because they survived these times and had children who carried their heritage onto the next generation, who also had to fight to continue their family. You are their legacy. You are what they fought to preserve for over 300 years, in a society that did not value the lives of black people. That is definitely something you should be proud of.\\nIf you are a dark-skinned person from another country of origin, learn about your people's ancestry. Ask your parents and grandparents to tell your stories about your family history so that you can better identify with your race and culture.\\n2-2. Consider the plight of your people.\\nChanges in attitude towards blacks only occurred because of the brave people who stood up for the rights of themselves and others. They did not accept their fate as outcasts and demanded the respect they--and you-- deserve. Inform yourself about these historical figures from America and beyond, such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela.\\nFind modern, present-day writers and bloggers who are carrying on this fight to learn what’s happening today in terms of racial activism. Some examples of writers may include Ta-Nehisi Coates, Claudia Rankine, and Black Girl Dangerous.\\n2-3. Search for aspects of your culture that resonate with you.\\nIf you have trouble being proud of your black heritage, it may be due to the negativity that is frequently repeated in the media about people of color. Oftentimes, the good is not highlighted, only the bad. To counteract this, find meaningful contributions of black culture that you enjoy.\\nDo you like African-American, Haitian, Jamaican, Somalian (or some other form of black culture) fashion, music, food, or dancing? You can represent pride in your heritage by taking on one of these positive contributions of the black culture that you like. Or, you can learn more about the history of these cultural symbols to gain a sense of pride.\\n2-4. Shake off the desire to disown your race or culture.\\nBeing proud to be black can be especially challenging when you are one of few in a certain profession, geographical location, or other group. Furthermore, this can be difficult when blacks are being portrayed negatively in the media. When your race is not being represented at all, or is being negatively represented, it may seem easier to adopt the habits of whites, who are more socially accepted.\\nIt can be very uncomfortable to stand out. However, you must overcome the desire to fit in if it means disowning who you are.\\n3. Overcoming Stereotypes\\n3-1. Understand colorism.\\nEven amongst people of color, there exists a divide. Colorism involves placing a higher value on lighter skin than on darker-hued skin. It occurs within families and communities of people of color (that’s right, Hispanics and Asians deal with this issue, too), causing lighter-skinned individuals to be met with higher favor than darker-skinned individuals, who often are thought to be more authentic representations of a certain race.\\nColorism is the result of internalized pro-white beauty ideals and dates back to colonialism, inspiring feelings of inferiority and self-hate. Read about it. Think about how it has contributed to your perception of your body, skin, and hair.\\n3-2. Question why your skin color bothers you.\\nIn order to gain a true sense of pride in your blackness, you need to uncover the source of your shame. Do you live in a neighborhood where you are the only black person around? Are people mistreating you at school or at work? Are the role models you see on TV or in magazines all Caucasian and blond? Write down the reasons on a piece of paper.\\nAfter writing down some of the reasons, evaluate them. Find the explanation for the occurrences that make you feel bad about yourself. For example, there is a vast under-representation of black people in the media, in magazines, movies, TV shows, and books—virtually everywhere.\\nYour lack of pride is not something to be ashamed of. It is a normal human reaction to feel invisible and worthless if you cannot find anyone like you in the images surrounding you every day. This is harmful and wrong.\\n3-3. Seek access to people who are not prejudiced.\\nUse the internet to connect to them. Read blogs about body positivity which represent black people and draw attention to their bodies and their inherent value. Remember that the bigoted people who state their opinions the loudest might attract the most attention, but that doesn't mean their beliefs are reflective of everyone else.\\nOne of the best ways to overcome prejudice is to try to spend more time with people who are different from you. Aim to make friends with someone from a different race. Doing so can help this person change their viewpoints of your race, and it may even sway some of your own beliefs about other races.\\n3-4. Stand up for yourself.\\nDon't make it easy for the people who pick on you. If you believe them and have a low esteem of yourself, they are succeeding. Be indignant over being badly treated. Allow yourself to be angry. You don't deserve to be treated badly.\\nIf you are not sure how you can take a stand against racism, research local and national groups online who are raising awareness about these issues.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"People with colored skin are often subject to a range of harsh criticisms and unfair stereotypes. Witnessing this rapid stereotyping can actually cause blacks to loathe themselves simply for being who they are. If you are having trouble being proud of yourself, you’re not alone. Learn how to gain a sense of pride for your skin color and everything that comes with it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Loving Who You Are\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embrace personal traits beyond your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Find the character traits or personal strengths that you like about yourself. Give yourself credit for them. You have inherent value as a person, and you need to start highlighting all that you are. Of course, this includes your skin color, but also other less-noticeable traits, such as how you treat others, your intelligence, your goals, and your personal values and beliefs.\\nSure, being black is a huge part of who you are, but it’s not the only and maybe even not the most important part. It depends on you. Make a list of all the things you enjoy about yourself excluding any characteristics relating to your appearance.\\nYour list might include attributes like persistence, compassion, friendliness, intellect, kindness, or hard-working. Pin this list in your car's visor or attach it to a notepad or something you see daily. Take the time to regularly reminisce on all your great qualities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Define beauty by your own terms.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you have identified which characteristics about yourself make you awesome and valuable irrespective of race, consider your physical appearance. You may have been raised in an area in which black beauty was not recognized as such. You may have begun to view yourself as the “other”, as if your own looks were unacceptable compared to what’s being portrayed in the TV or in magazines.\\nIf you could close your ears to society, what would you truly think about your skin color and other physical features?\\nGo and stand in front of your mirror. Take a good long look at your reflection. Pay attention to your thoughts about yourself. Are they judging or critical? Aim to shut them off, and instead view yourself through the lens of a mother or a lover. What would this person say about your appearance?\\nWhenever you examine your appearance, strive to shut off that part of yourself that is comparing it to what’s depicted in the media. Look at yourself as if for the first time. Now, what is it that you truly like about yourself? Is it your pouty lips, wide nose, kinky hair, or smooth-as-coffee complexion?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a black role model you admire.\", \"描述\": \"A great way to adopt a greater sense of pride for your race and culture is to find someone who represents it well. This individual(s) can be anyone, from anywhere. It can be a parent, a teacher, a coach, or someone you don’t know like a famous person. Know that you have just as much potential to affect the world around you as these individuals. You matter, too.\\nIf you are into entertainment, your role model could be Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, Beyoncé Knowles, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Morgan Freeman, Hale Berry, Jamie Foxx, Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, India Arie… the list is endless.\\nIf you are looking for an intellectual or philosophical role model, consider Toussaint Louverture, Booker T Washington, Jean-Jacques Dessalines, Marcus Garvey, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Malcolm X, Kwame Nkrumah, Martin Luther King, Jr., Stuart Hall, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Toni Morrison, and, of course, Barack Obama.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to your parents or someone else about your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"It could be helpful to share your feelings with someone who cares about you—a parent, sibling, or close friend. Be honest in how you are feeling. Ask the person if he or she has ever felt similarly. Listen carefully to the responses.\\nIf your confidants, too, once had trouble feeling pride in their racial background, they may be able to relate to what you are going through. What’s more, these people may be able to offer helpful solutions as to how they developed a sense of pride in their blackness.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting Your Cultural Heritage\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn more about your personal and cultural history.\", \"描述\": \"Doing research on your personal history can help you to develop a stronger understanding for how you and your family came to be in addition to the hardships your ancestors may have overcome. You can start by asking your parents or grandparents questions about your ancestry. Then, you may be able to conduct an internet search or get your genealogy completed online. Figuring out where your family came from can give you a better idea of who you truly are.\\nIf you are African American, your family may have come to this country during times of oppression and slavery. Remember that you are only here today because they survived these times and had children who carried their heritage onto the next generation, who also had to fight to continue their family. You are their legacy. You are what they fought to preserve for over 300 years, in a society that did not value the lives of black people. That is definitely something you should be proud of.\\nIf you are a dark-skinned person from another country of origin, learn about your people's ancestry. Ask your parents and grandparents to tell your stories about your family history so that you can better identify with your race and culture.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the plight of your people.\", \"描述\": \"Changes in attitude towards blacks only occurred because of the brave people who stood up for the rights of themselves and others. They did not accept their fate as outcasts and demanded the respect they--and you-- deserve. Inform yourself about these historical figures from America and beyond, such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela.\\nFind modern, present-day writers and bloggers who are carrying on this fight to learn what’s happening today in terms of racial activism. Some examples of writers may include Ta-Nehisi Coates, Claudia Rankine, and Black Girl Dangerous.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for aspects of your culture that resonate with you.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble being proud of your black heritage, it may be due to the negativity that is frequently repeated in the media about people of color. Oftentimes, the good is not highlighted, only the bad. To counteract this, find meaningful contributions of black culture that you enjoy.\\nDo you like African-American, Haitian, Jamaican, Somalian (or some other form of black culture) fashion, music, food, or dancing? You can represent pride in your heritage by taking on one of these positive contributions of the black culture that you like. Or, you can learn more about the history of these cultural symbols to gain a sense of pride.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Shake off the desire to disown your race or culture.\", \"描述\": \"Being proud to be black can be especially challenging when you are one of few in a certain profession, geographical location, or other group. Furthermore, this can be difficult when blacks are being portrayed negatively in the media. When your race is not being represented at all, or is being negatively represented, it may seem easier to adopt the habits of whites, who are more socially accepted.\\nIt can be very uncomfortable to stand out. However, you must overcome the desire to fit in if it means disowning who you are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Stereotypes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand colorism.\", \"描述\": \"Even amongst people of color, there exists a divide. Colorism involves placing a higher value on lighter skin than on darker-hued skin. It occurs within families and communities of people of color (that’s right, Hispanics and Asians deal with this issue, too), causing lighter-skinned individuals to be met with higher favor than darker-skinned individuals, who often are thought to be more authentic representations of a certain race.\\nColorism is the result of internalized pro-white beauty ideals and dates back to colonialism, inspiring feelings of inferiority and self-hate. Read about it. Think about how it has contributed to your perception of your body, skin, and hair.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Question why your skin color bothers you.\", \"描述\": \"In order to gain a true sense of pride in your blackness, you need to uncover the source of your shame. Do you live in a neighborhood where you are the only black person around? Are people mistreating you at school or at work? Are the role models you see on TV or in magazines all Caucasian and blond? Write down the reasons on a piece of paper.\\nAfter writing down some of the reasons, evaluate them. Find the explanation for the occurrences that make you feel bad about yourself. For example, there is a vast under-representation of black people in the media, in magazines, movies, TV shows, and books—virtually everywhere.\\nYour lack of pride is not something to be ashamed of. It is a normal human reaction to feel invisible and worthless if you cannot find anyone like you in the images surrounding you every day. This is harmful and wrong.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek access to people who are not prejudiced.\", \"描述\": \"Use the internet to connect to them. Read blogs about body positivity which represent black people and draw attention to their bodies and their inherent value. Remember that the bigoted people who state their opinions the loudest might attract the most attention, but that doesn't mean their beliefs are reflective of everyone else.\\nOne of the best ways to overcome prejudice is to try to spend more time with people who are different from you. Aim to make friends with someone from a different race. Doing so can help this person change their viewpoints of your race, and it may even sway some of your own beliefs about other races.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stand up for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Don't make it easy for the people who pick on you. If you believe them and have a low esteem of yourself, they are succeeding. Be indignant over being badly treated. Allow yourself to be angry. You don't deserve to be treated badly.\\nIf you are not sure how you can take a stand against racism, research local and national groups online who are raising awareness about these issues.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,075 | How to Be Punctual | 1. Using Tricks to Get Out of the Door Quickly
1-1. Have everything ready the night before.
If you're not sure why you seem to chronically late, take a look at what happens before you leave the house. You probably set aside a certain amount of time to get ready to go, and end up scrambling to get through a checklist of tasks before you can leave. If you have everything ready to go well in advance, though, you won't have a bunch of hurdles standing between you and getting where you need to go. Every single night, go through the following routine so that you'll have a lot less to do in the morning:
Lay out the clothes you're going to wear.
Complete any tasks you might normally leave for the morning, like writing emails or printing out documents.
Pack up your bag or briefcase with everything you'll need the next day.
Have everything ready so you can make a quick breakfast, or eliminate the need for morning cooking altogether by making some overnight oats.
1-2. Keep your essentials near the door.
Many people who are often late spend too much time searching around for their keys, cell phone, charger or wallet. If you keep all of your essential items in the same drawer or tray near the door, they'll be waiting there for you when it's time to leave.
If you tend to walk in the door and leave your keys on the counter, your wallet in the bedroom, and your phone on the kitchen table, you'll spend too much extra time looking for everything when you could be on your way. Every once in a while, you'll probably forget an important item and have to go back to retrieve it, making you even later.
Instead, the moment you walk in the door, empty your pockets of all your essential items and put them in the same place every time. If you keep everything in your purse, put that in the same spot in your house every time, too.
1-3. Create a staging area near the door.
As you go about your daily routine around the house and think of items that you will need for your next trip, take the time to set them in the staging area. If you get in the habit of doing this, everything will be ready to go and you will not have to do the mental inventory countdown each time you are ready to go.
You can go even further and put the items in your car as you think of them.
1-4. Anticipate delays before they happen.
Are you full of excuses that seem legitimate? Traffic was bad. Or, The train got delayed. Worse, I had to stop and get gas. If you thought ahead and anticipated these everyday delays, they wouldn't be making you late all the time. You can even try to group activities together to save time, such as brushing your teeth while showering, to free up more time for potential delays.
Anticipate that these things are going to happen fairly often. Being on a stalled subway car is not a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Leave early enough to overcome unanticipated delays and still get there on time.
Avoid completely unnecessary delays like stopping for gas. Fill your car the night before. Make sure your subway pass is loaded with plenty of fare, and eat at home, instead of stopping at the fast food drive-through for breakfast and waiting in line.
Check traffic and the weather when you first wake up to see if anything might hold you up, and leave early enough to make up for any anticipated extra travel time. Remember, too, that the possibility of delays in bad weather is high. Leave a sufficient time buffer to absorb the worst typical delay.
In cold weather allow an extra five or ten minutes to clear frost, snow, and ice from your vehicle. You could even use an app to help you best plan the fastest and easiest route each day.
If you ride a bus, know the route, have your fare, and keep cab money on hand in case of emergency.
If you are depending on another person for a ride—have a plan B!
1-5. Commit yourself to being 15 minutes early for everything.
If you have to be to work at 8:00, don't even tell yourself you can walk in the door right on the dot. Instead, say to yourself, "I have to be at work at 7:45." If you do this, you will be on time even with little unforeseen interruptions. You will be on time even if you encounter a traffic jam. And on those rare times that you actually show up 15 minutes early; you will get kudos for being an enthusiastic employee.
If you can't stand waiting, have something you can read in short segments almost everywhere you go. This makes it easy to be early, since in the 10-15 minutes you have before an appointment/event, you can get a few pages of reading done. It'll feel like you're getting something done (and you are) while you are waiting.
1-6. Overestimate the time it'll take to get there.
If you tend to have everything ready to go in the morning, and you show up late even when you don't experience delays, you might be underestimating the amount of time it takes to get where you're going. Optimistic thinkers tend to shave off a few minutes, hoping they'll be able to get places faster. Unfortunately, all it does is make them late! Be realistic when you're planning your commutes, and punctuality will follow.
Sometimes, it's hard to know exactly how long it will take to get somewhere. If you're preparing for an important meeting, like an interview, you might want to drive the route or do the train commute in advance of the meeting day. Time your trip so you'll know what time you need to leave the house.
Don't forget to add 15 minutes to the overall trip time to account for delays. If you figure it'll take 40 minutes to get to your meeting site, leave 55 minutes early just in case something trips you up.
2. Forming Better Habits
2-1. Get up the second your alarm goes off.
Don't hit the snooze button, linger in bed, and watch TV at the very start of your day. You probably didn't factor in an extra 10 or 15 minutes in bed when you planned out what time you'd need to wake up in the morning in order to get to your scheduled events on time. By getting up late you are setting a pattern of lateness for the rest of the day. Those extra minutes in bed will add up and push everything else back, so get up as quickly as you can.
Place your clock on the other side of the room to help force yourself to get out of bed. This gets you up and moving, and makes it impossible to hit the snooze button.
Try stretching, splashing your face with water, and brushing your teeth right away to wake your body up more quickly.
If you can't get out of bed on time, you may be going to bed too late. Go to sleep earlier to see if that helps. This makes it a lot easier to get up on time and helps you stay on task during the day. Unless you know otherwise, assume you need eight hours of sleep every night.
2-2. Re-examine how long your daily tasks really take.
For example, you might be under the impression that you take a 15-minute shower, assuming that starting at 6:30 you can leave at 6:45. But, what about the time you spend before and after the actual shower? It's quite possible you really spend 20 or even 30 minutes in the bathroom, and that's why you can never leave by 6:45. So, think about the things you do every day, and try to keep an estimate of how long it takes you.
Time yourself a few days in a row to see how long it actual takes you to perform certain tasks. Use a stopwatch and record the times over the course of a week, then average the times so you'll have an accurate indication of how much time to plan for each activity.
2-3. See where you often waste the most time.
What do you get caught up doing that prevents you from getting out the door? "Time sinkholes," like getting distracted while checking emails, spending too long curling your hair, or stopping at a coffee shop on the way to work are often unnoticed by us, and can throw off daily planning.
When you discover a sinkhole, try to change your habits around the activity to make it faster. For example, standing up while quickly checking your emails makes it hard to lose an hour randomly surfing the web.
2-4. Change the time on your watch.
Set the time 5 minutes earlier than the actual time. This means you should always be at least 5 minutes early for an event or meeting.
2-5. Make a note of where you should be in regards to time.
For instance, if you have to leave your house at 8 for work, tell yourself, "It's 7:20, I should be getting in the shower." "It's 7:35, I should be brushing my teeth." This will help keep you on track. It is useful to think up a morning schedule to get used to this habit.
Consider printing out a schedule you can reference throughout the morning. Post it up in your bedroom, office, kitchen, and other places where you'll be sure to see it.
2-6. Don't overbook yourself.
Maybe you're often late because you schedule back-to-back appointments without leaving enough time in between to move from place to place. Examine your schedule and make sure each activity is buffered by several minutes before and after so you can spend that time traveling, resting, eating, and doing other things you need to do between appointments.
2-7. Surround yourself with timepieces.
If you tend to space out and forget what time it is, you probably need more clocks in your life. If you don't like wearing a watch, have your cellphone on hand at all times. Wall clocks are attention-grabbers that help people stay on task, too. Make sure all your clocks are set to the same time, so you don't get confused.
Utilize timers, alarms and reminders throughout the day as well. For example, you might want to set your phone to vibrate or ring when you have 10 minutes to go before your next class or meeting.
Some people intentionally set their clocks several minutes fast in order to trick themselves into getting to places early. You could try this to see if it works for you, but many people find that they just mentally adjust their concept of what time it is to account for the extra minutes, and they end up late anyway. Knowing what time it really is will help you stay grounded and punctual.
3. Changing Your Attitude about Punctuality
3-1. Acknowledge that you have a hard time being punctual.
If you have a chronic problem with punctuality, you might be prone to making a lot of excuses. Some of them might be valid, like if you're late to a meeting because you had a flat tire, or a winter storm stalled traffic for an hour. But if it seems like you're constantly trying to explain away your tardiness, it's time to own up to your problem. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you're in denial that it's a problem at all.
If you're not sure whether your issue is chronic, ask your friends and family to tell you honestly whether they consider you a punctual person. If punctuality is truly an issue for you, you won't have been able to hide it from them.
Check to see if your tardiness is the result of passive aggression. Being late can be a form of resentment at having to be a certain place to do a certain thing. If you think this is the case, try to change your events around, or otherwise practice accepting that which you can't change.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you have trouble being punctual, though. According to a study conducted in San Francisco, 20 percent of the US population has the same issue.
3-2. Notice how being late affects others.
You probably really want to be on time, and when you're late, you feel genuinely sorry for inconveniencing others. But if you're late again and again, people will feel that your behavior is inconsiderate. Being late puts other people in the position of having to wait for you. It's seen as a statement that you value your time more than you value theirs, even if you really don't feel that way.
Think of how you feel when someone else is the one who's late for a meeting. Do you appreciate having to sit alone in a restaurant while you wait for your friend to show up half an hour late? Be kind to people that are late while also telling them how you feel.
Eventually, being late all the time will erode people's faith in your reliability, creating a negative impression that could eventually extend to matters other than punctuality.
3-3. Get your adrenaline rush in other ways.
Do you feel a little buzzed when you're rushing to beat the clock? It's like a game, and if you can get there before the timer runs out, you win. However, this exhilarating habit can have bad consequences when you lose your gamble with time too often. If you like the rush of adrenaline you feel when you're down to the wire, stop putting your appointments on the line and try to get it some other way, like by playing timed computer games, taking up track and field sports, or — if you really like the rush — parachuting from a plane.
3-4. Make punctuality one of your core values.
It doesn't seem as meaningful as honesty or integrity, but punctuality is intimately tied to these important values. When you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, and you don't show up, what does that say about you? When it happens over and over, might it affect others' impression of your integrity, or cause them to think twice about what you say? Try to take punctuality as seriously as you take other values you strive to uphold. If you care more about being punctual, you'll start being more punctual.
Examine the areas in which you're more likely to be flippant about punctuality. If there are certain people you don't bother meeting on time, or a certain class you always come to 15 minutes late, it's possible that the people and the class just aren't that important to you.
Try to spend your time doing things you care about doing, and do them with intention. Show up on time and be all in. When you care about what you're doing, and you're living with integrity, it feels right to get there on time.
3-5. Enjoy the rewards of being a punctual person.
After a few weeks of rearranging your habits and thought patterns so you can be more punctual, it won't feel as difficult — and you'll start reaping the rewards of being the sort of person who's never late. Here are a few examples of the benefits you'll experience:
You'll be much less stressed out on a daily basis, and you won't have to make excuses and apologize all the time.
You'll probably experience a professional boost, since you'll no longer be late for work.
Your personal life will be uplifted as people begin to see you as a reliable person and trust you more.
Being habitually punctual tends to have the effect of actually allowing you to be late from time to time, since people will start giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Tips
Kids are really good at making their parents late. Follow all the above tips, not just for yourself but also for your kids. Have their clothes ready (including coats and mittens), make sure they get baths the night before, etc. Take a few minutes the night before to make sure their books and homework are in their backpack, then place it by the door. Check for any permission slips that need signing. If your child is very young, make sure their diaper bag is always fully stocked. But some organized twelve year olds can definitely help you out!
If you take your lunch to work, pack it the night before.
Old military adage: If you're not 5 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late!
Warnings
Don’t fool yourself into thinking nobody notices the latecomer. If you think you are more than occasionally late to work, school, church, appointments, etc., you can be sure others have noticed too.
Lateness is corrosive to good relations with friends, colleagues and of professional standing. Having a strong personality and being able to smooth over individual instances of lateness still leaves a building resentment. Holding people up who have planned and prepared work, journeys, meals, entertainment etc. generates a cumulative irritation and devaluing of you personally.
Remember your reputation is on the line. The power of showing up is limitless.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Tricks to Get Out of the Door Quickly\\n1-1. Have everything ready the night before.\\nIf you're not sure why you seem to chronically late, take a look at what happens before you leave the house. You probably set aside a certain amount of time to get ready to go, and end up scrambling to get through a checklist of tasks before you can leave. If you have everything ready to go well in advance, though, you won't have a bunch of hurdles standing between you and getting where you need to go. Every single night, go through the following routine so that you'll have a lot less to do in the morning:\\nLay out the clothes you're going to wear.\\nComplete any tasks you might normally leave for the morning, like writing emails or printing out documents.\\nPack up your bag or briefcase with everything you'll need the next day.\\nHave everything ready so you can make a quick breakfast, or eliminate the need for morning cooking altogether by making some overnight oats.\\n1-2. Keep your essentials near the door.\\nMany people who are often late spend too much time searching around for their keys, cell phone, charger or wallet. If you keep all of your essential items in the same drawer or tray near the door, they'll be waiting there for you when it's time to leave.\\nIf you tend to walk in the door and leave your keys on the counter, your wallet in the bedroom, and your phone on the kitchen table, you'll spend too much extra time looking for everything when you could be on your way. Every once in a while, you'll probably forget an important item and have to go back to retrieve it, making you even later.\\nInstead, the moment you walk in the door, empty your pockets of all your essential items and put them in the same place every time. If you keep everything in your purse, put that in the same spot in your house every time, too.\\n1-3. Create a staging area near the door.\\nAs you go about your daily routine around the house and think of items that you will need for your next trip, take the time to set them in the staging area. If you get in the habit of doing this, everything will be ready to go and you will not have to do the mental inventory countdown each time you are ready to go.\\nYou can go even further and put the items in your car as you think of them.\\n1-4. Anticipate delays before they happen.\\nAre you full of excuses that seem legitimate? Traffic was bad. Or, The train got delayed. Worse, I had to stop and get gas. If you thought ahead and anticipated these everyday delays, they wouldn't be making you late all the time. You can even try to group activities together to save time, such as brushing your teeth while showering, to free up more time for potential delays.\\nAnticipate that these things are going to happen fairly often. Being on a stalled subway car is not a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Leave early enough to overcome unanticipated delays and still get there on time.\\nAvoid completely unnecessary delays like stopping for gas. Fill your car the night before. Make sure your subway pass is loaded with plenty of fare, and eat at home, instead of stopping at the fast food drive-through for breakfast and waiting in line.\\nCheck traffic and the weather when you first wake up to see if anything might hold you up, and leave early enough to make up for any anticipated extra travel time. Remember, too, that the possibility of delays in bad weather is high. Leave a sufficient time buffer to absorb the worst typical delay.\\nIn cold weather allow an extra five or ten minutes to clear frost, snow, and ice from your vehicle. You could even use an app to help you best plan the fastest and easiest route each day.\\nIf you ride a bus, know the route, have your fare, and keep cab money on hand in case of emergency.\\nIf you are depending on another person for a ride—have a plan B!\\n1-5. Commit yourself to being 15 minutes early for everything.\\nIf you have to be to work at 8:00, don't even tell yourself you can walk in the door right on the dot. Instead, say to yourself, \\\"I have to be at work at 7:45.\\\" If you do this, you will be on time even with little unforeseen interruptions. You will be on time even if you encounter a traffic jam. And on those rare times that you actually show up 15 minutes early; you will get kudos for being an enthusiastic employee.\\nIf you can't stand waiting, have something you can read in short segments almost everywhere you go. This makes it easy to be early, since in the 10-15 minutes you have before an appointment/event, you can get a few pages of reading done. It'll feel like you're getting something done (and you are) while you are waiting.\\n1-6. Overestimate the time it'll take to get there.\\nIf you tend to have everything ready to go in the morning, and you show up late even when you don't experience delays, you might be underestimating the amount of time it takes to get where you're going. Optimistic thinkers tend to shave off a few minutes, hoping they'll be able to get places faster. Unfortunately, all it does is make them late! Be realistic when you're planning your commutes, and punctuality will follow.\\nSometimes, it's hard to know exactly how long it will take to get somewhere. If you're preparing for an important meeting, like an interview, you might want to drive the route or do the train commute in advance of the meeting day. Time your trip so you'll know what time you need to leave the house.\\nDon't forget to add 15 minutes to the overall trip time to account for delays. If you figure it'll take 40 minutes to get to your meeting site, leave 55 minutes early just in case something trips you up.\\n2. Forming Better Habits\\n2-1. Get up the second your alarm goes off.\\nDon't hit the snooze button, linger in bed, and watch TV at the very start of your day. You probably didn't factor in an extra 10 or 15 minutes in bed when you planned out what time you'd need to wake up in the morning in order to get to your scheduled events on time. By getting up late you are setting a pattern of lateness for the rest of the day. Those extra minutes in bed will add up and push everything else back, so get up as quickly as you can.\\nPlace your clock on the other side of the room to help force yourself to get out of bed. This gets you up and moving, and makes it impossible to hit the snooze button.\\nTry stretching, splashing your face with water, and brushing your teeth right away to wake your body up more quickly.\\nIf you can't get out of bed on time, you may be going to bed too late. Go to sleep earlier to see if that helps. This makes it a lot easier to get up on time and helps you stay on task during the day. Unless you know otherwise, assume you need eight hours of sleep every night.\\n2-2. Re-examine how long your daily tasks really take.\\nFor example, you might be under the impression that you take a 15-minute shower, assuming that starting at 6:30 you can leave at 6:45. But, what about the time you spend before and after the actual shower? It's quite possible you really spend 20 or even 30 minutes in the bathroom, and that's why you can never leave by 6:45. So, think about the things you do every day, and try to keep an estimate of how long it takes you.\\nTime yourself a few days in a row to see how long it actual takes you to perform certain tasks. Use a stopwatch and record the times over the course of a week, then average the times so you'll have an accurate indication of how much time to plan for each activity.\\n2-3. See where you often waste the most time.\\nWhat do you get caught up doing that prevents you from getting out the door? \\\"Time sinkholes,\\\" like getting distracted while checking emails, spending too long curling your hair, or stopping at a coffee shop on the way to work are often unnoticed by us, and can throw off daily planning.\\nWhen you discover a sinkhole, try to change your habits around the activity to make it faster. For example, standing up while quickly checking your emails makes it hard to lose an hour randomly surfing the web.\\n2-4. Change the time on your watch.\\nSet the time 5 minutes earlier than the actual time. This means you should always be at least 5 minutes early for an event or meeting.\\n2-5. Make a note of where you should be in regards to time.\\nFor instance, if you have to leave your house at 8 for work, tell yourself, \\\"It's 7:20, I should be getting in the shower.\\\" \\\"It's 7:35, I should be brushing my teeth.\\\" This will help keep you on track. It is useful to think up a morning schedule to get used to this habit.\\nConsider printing out a schedule you can reference throughout the morning. Post it up in your bedroom, office, kitchen, and other places where you'll be sure to see it.\\n2-6. Don't overbook yourself.\\nMaybe you're often late because you schedule back-to-back appointments without leaving enough time in between to move from place to place. Examine your schedule and make sure each activity is buffered by several minutes before and after so you can spend that time traveling, resting, eating, and doing other things you need to do between appointments.\\n2-7. Surround yourself with timepieces.\\nIf you tend to space out and forget what time it is, you probably need more clocks in your life. If you don't like wearing a watch, have your cellphone on hand at all times. Wall clocks are attention-grabbers that help people stay on task, too. Make sure all your clocks are set to the same time, so you don't get confused.\\nUtilize timers, alarms and reminders throughout the day as well. For example, you might want to set your phone to vibrate or ring when you have 10 minutes to go before your next class or meeting.\\nSome people intentionally set their clocks several minutes fast in order to trick themselves into getting to places early. You could try this to see if it works for you, but many people find that they just mentally adjust their concept of what time it is to account for the extra minutes, and they end up late anyway. Knowing what time it really is will help you stay grounded and punctual.\\n3. Changing Your Attitude about Punctuality\\n3-1. Acknowledge that you have a hard time being punctual.\\nIf you have a chronic problem with punctuality, you might be prone to making a lot of excuses. Some of them might be valid, like if you're late to a meeting because you had a flat tire, or a winter storm stalled traffic for an hour. But if it seems like you're constantly trying to explain away your tardiness, it's time to own up to your problem. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you're in denial that it's a problem at all.\\nIf you're not sure whether your issue is chronic, ask your friends and family to tell you honestly whether they consider you a punctual person. If punctuality is truly an issue for you, you won't have been able to hide it from them.\\nCheck to see if your tardiness is the result of passive aggression. Being late can be a form of resentment at having to be a certain place to do a certain thing. If you think this is the case, try to change your events around, or otherwise practice accepting that which you can't change.\\nDon't be too hard on yourself if you have trouble being punctual, though. According to a study conducted in San Francisco, 20 percent of the US population has the same issue.\\n3-2. Notice how being late affects others.\\nYou probably really want to be on time, and when you're late, you feel genuinely sorry for inconveniencing others. But if you're late again and again, people will feel that your behavior is inconsiderate. Being late puts other people in the position of having to wait for you. It's seen as a statement that you value your time more than you value theirs, even if you really don't feel that way.\\nThink of how you feel when someone else is the one who's late for a meeting. Do you appreciate having to sit alone in a restaurant while you wait for your friend to show up half an hour late? Be kind to people that are late while also telling them how you feel.\\nEventually, being late all the time will erode people's faith in your reliability, creating a negative impression that could eventually extend to matters other than punctuality.\\n3-3. Get your adrenaline rush in other ways.\\nDo you feel a little buzzed when you're rushing to beat the clock? It's like a game, and if you can get there before the timer runs out, you win. However, this exhilarating habit can have bad consequences when you lose your gamble with time too often. If you like the rush of adrenaline you feel when you're down to the wire, stop putting your appointments on the line and try to get it some other way, like by playing timed computer games, taking up track and field sports, or — if you really like the rush — parachuting from a plane.\\n3-4. Make punctuality one of your core values.\\nIt doesn't seem as meaningful as honesty or integrity, but punctuality is intimately tied to these important values. When you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, and you don't show up, what does that say about you? When it happens over and over, might it affect others' impression of your integrity, or cause them to think twice about what you say? Try to take punctuality as seriously as you take other values you strive to uphold. If you care more about being punctual, you'll start being more punctual.\\nExamine the areas in which you're more likely to be flippant about punctuality. If there are certain people you don't bother meeting on time, or a certain class you always come to 15 minutes late, it's possible that the people and the class just aren't that important to you.\\nTry to spend your time doing things you care about doing, and do them with intention. Show up on time and be all in. When you care about what you're doing, and you're living with integrity, it feels right to get there on time.\\n3-5. Enjoy the rewards of being a punctual person.\\nAfter a few weeks of rearranging your habits and thought patterns so you can be more punctual, it won't feel as difficult — and you'll start reaping the rewards of being the sort of person who's never late. Here are a few examples of the benefits you'll experience:\\nYou'll be much less stressed out on a daily basis, and you won't have to make excuses and apologize all the time.\\nYou'll probably experience a professional boost, since you'll no longer be late for work.\\nYour personal life will be uplifted as people begin to see you as a reliable person and trust you more.\\nBeing habitually punctual tends to have the effect of actually allowing you to be late from time to time, since people will start giving you the benefit of the doubt.\\nTips\\nKids are really good at making their parents late. Follow all the above tips, not just for yourself but also for your kids. Have their clothes ready (including coats and mittens), make sure they get baths the night before, etc. Take a few minutes the night before to make sure their books and homework are in their backpack, then place it by the door. Check for any permission slips that need signing. If your child is very young, make sure their diaper bag is always fully stocked. But some organized twelve year olds can definitely help you out!\\nIf you take your lunch to work, pack it the night before.\\nOld military adage: If you're not 5 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late!\\nWarnings\\nDon’t fool yourself into thinking nobody notices the latecomer. If you think you are more than occasionally late to work, school, church, appointments, etc., you can be sure others have noticed too.\\nLateness is corrosive to good relations with friends, colleagues and of professional standing. Having a strong personality and being able to smooth over individual instances of lateness still leaves a building resentment. Holding people up who have planned and prepared work, journeys, meals, entertainment etc. generates a cumulative irritation and devaluing of you personally.\\nRemember your reputation is on the line. The power of showing up is limitless.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Showing up late to every meeting and event can stress you out and leave others questioning how reliable you are. You'd probably love to be on time whenever and wherever you go, but punctuality doesn't come naturally to everyone. The good news is you can train yourself to be on time, every time, by changing your habits and your views about punctuality. See Step 1 and beyond to learn quick tricks and long-term strategies for being more punctual.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Tricks to Get Out of the Door Quickly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have everything ready the night before.\", \"描述\": \"If you're not sure why you seem to chronically late, take a look at what happens before you leave the house. You probably set aside a certain amount of time to get ready to go, and end up scrambling to get through a checklist of tasks before you can leave. If you have everything ready to go well in advance, though, you won't have a bunch of hurdles standing between you and getting where you need to go. Every single night, go through the following routine so that you'll have a lot less to do in the morning:\\nLay out the clothes you're going to wear.\\nComplete any tasks you might normally leave for the morning, like writing emails or printing out documents.\\nPack up your bag or briefcase with everything you'll need the next day.\\nHave everything ready so you can make a quick breakfast, or eliminate the need for morning cooking altogether by making some overnight oats.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your essentials near the door.\", \"描述\": \"Many people who are often late spend too much time searching around for their keys, cell phone, charger or wallet. If you keep all of your essential items in the same drawer or tray near the door, they'll be waiting there for you when it's time to leave.\\nIf you tend to walk in the door and leave your keys on the counter, your wallet in the bedroom, and your phone on the kitchen table, you'll spend too much extra time looking for everything when you could be on your way. Every once in a while, you'll probably forget an important item and have to go back to retrieve it, making you even later.\\nInstead, the moment you walk in the door, empty your pockets of all your essential items and put them in the same place every time. If you keep everything in your purse, put that in the same spot in your house every time, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create a staging area near the door.\", \"描述\": \"As you go about your daily routine around the house and think of items that you will need for your next trip, take the time to set them in the staging area. If you get in the habit of doing this, everything will be ready to go and you will not have to do the mental inventory countdown each time you are ready to go.\\nYou can go even further and put the items in your car as you think of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Anticipate delays before they happen.\", \"描述\": \"Are you full of excuses that seem legitimate? Traffic was bad. Or, The train got delayed. Worse, I had to stop and get gas. If you thought ahead and anticipated these everyday delays, they wouldn't be making you late all the time. You can even try to group activities together to save time, such as brushing your teeth while showering, to free up more time for potential delays.\\nAnticipate that these things are going to happen fairly often. Being on a stalled subway car is not a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Leave early enough to overcome unanticipated delays and still get there on time.\\nAvoid completely unnecessary delays like stopping for gas. Fill your car the night before. Make sure your subway pass is loaded with plenty of fare, and eat at home, instead of stopping at the fast food drive-through for breakfast and waiting in line.\\nCheck traffic and the weather when you first wake up to see if anything might hold you up, and leave early enough to make up for any anticipated extra travel time. Remember, too, that the possibility of delays in bad weather is high. Leave a sufficient time buffer to absorb the worst typical delay.\\nIn cold weather allow an extra five or ten minutes to clear frost, snow, and ice from your vehicle. You could even use an app to help you best plan the fastest and easiest route each day.\\nIf you ride a bus, know the route, have your fare, and keep cab money on hand in case of emergency.\\nIf you are depending on another person for a ride—have a plan B!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Commit yourself to being 15 minutes early for everything.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to be to work at 8:00, don't even tell yourself you can walk in the door right on the dot. Instead, say to yourself, \\\"I have to be at work at 7:45.\\\" If you do this, you will be on time even with little unforeseen interruptions. You will be on time even if you encounter a traffic jam. And on those rare times that you actually show up 15 minutes early; you will get kudos for being an enthusiastic employee.\\nIf you can't stand waiting, have something you can read in short segments almost everywhere you go. This makes it easy to be early, since in the 10-15 minutes you have before an appointment/event, you can get a few pages of reading done. It'll feel like you're getting something done (and you are) while you are waiting.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Overestimate the time it'll take to get there.\", \"描述\": \"If you tend to have everything ready to go in the morning, and you show up late even when you don't experience delays, you might be underestimating the amount of time it takes to get where you're going. Optimistic thinkers tend to shave off a few minutes, hoping they'll be able to get places faster. Unfortunately, all it does is make them late! Be realistic when you're planning your commutes, and punctuality will follow.\\nSometimes, it's hard to know exactly how long it will take to get somewhere. If you're preparing for an important meeting, like an interview, you might want to drive the route or do the train commute in advance of the meeting day. Time your trip so you'll know what time you need to leave the house.\\nDon't forget to add 15 minutes to the overall trip time to account for delays. If you figure it'll take 40 minutes to get to your meeting site, leave 55 minutes early just in case something trips you up.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Forming Better Habits\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get up the second your alarm goes off.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hit the snooze button, linger in bed, and watch TV at the very start of your day. You probably didn't factor in an extra 10 or 15 minutes in bed when you planned out what time you'd need to wake up in the morning in order to get to your scheduled events on time. By getting up late you are setting a pattern of lateness for the rest of the day. Those extra minutes in bed will add up and push everything else back, so get up as quickly as you can.\\nPlace your clock on the other side of the room to help force yourself to get out of bed. This gets you up and moving, and makes it impossible to hit the snooze button.\\nTry stretching, splashing your face with water, and brushing your teeth right away to wake your body up more quickly.\\nIf you can't get out of bed on time, you may be going to bed too late. Go to sleep earlier to see if that helps. This makes it a lot easier to get up on time and helps you stay on task during the day. Unless you know otherwise, assume you need eight hours of sleep every night.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Re-examine how long your daily tasks really take.\", \"描述\": \"For example, you might be under the impression that you take a 15-minute shower, assuming that starting at 6:30 you can leave at 6:45. But, what about the time you spend before and after the actual shower? It's quite possible you really spend 20 or even 30 minutes in the bathroom, and that's why you can never leave by 6:45. So, think about the things you do every day, and try to keep an estimate of how long it takes you.\\nTime yourself a few days in a row to see how long it actual takes you to perform certain tasks. Use a stopwatch and record the times over the course of a week, then average the times so you'll have an accurate indication of how much time to plan for each activity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See where you often waste the most time.\", \"描述\": \"What do you get caught up doing that prevents you from getting out the door? \\\"Time sinkholes,\\\" like getting distracted while checking emails, spending too long curling your hair, or stopping at a coffee shop on the way to work are often unnoticed by us, and can throw off daily planning.\\nWhen you discover a sinkhole, try to change your habits around the activity to make it faster. For example, standing up while quickly checking your emails makes it hard to lose an hour randomly surfing the web.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Change the time on your watch.\", \"描述\": \"Set the time 5 minutes earlier than the actual time. This means you should always be at least 5 minutes early for an event or meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a note of where you should be in regards to time.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, if you have to leave your house at 8 for work, tell yourself, \\\"It's 7:20, I should be getting in the shower.\\\" \\\"It's 7:35, I should be brushing my teeth.\\\" This will help keep you on track. It is useful to think up a morning schedule to get used to this habit.\\nConsider printing out a schedule you can reference throughout the morning. Post it up in your bedroom, office, kitchen, and other places where you'll be sure to see it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't overbook yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you're often late because you schedule back-to-back appointments without leaving enough time in between to move from place to place. Examine your schedule and make sure each activity is buffered by several minutes before and after so you can spend that time traveling, resting, eating, and doing other things you need to do between appointments.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with timepieces.\", \"描述\": \"If you tend to space out and forget what time it is, you probably need more clocks in your life. If you don't like wearing a watch, have your cellphone on hand at all times. Wall clocks are attention-grabbers that help people stay on task, too. Make sure all your clocks are set to the same time, so you don't get confused.\\nUtilize timers, alarms and reminders throughout the day as well. For example, you might want to set your phone to vibrate or ring when you have 10 minutes to go before your next class or meeting.\\nSome people intentionally set their clocks several minutes fast in order to trick themselves into getting to places early. You could try this to see if it works for you, but many people find that they just mentally adjust their concept of what time it is to account for the extra minutes, and they end up late anyway. Knowing what time it really is will help you stay grounded and punctual.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Attitude about Punctuality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge that you have a hard time being punctual.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a chronic problem with punctuality, you might be prone to making a lot of excuses. Some of them might be valid, like if you're late to a meeting because you had a flat tire, or a winter storm stalled traffic for an hour. But if it seems like you're constantly trying to explain away your tardiness, it's time to own up to your problem. As with any problem, you cannot fix it if you're in denial that it's a problem at all.\\nIf you're not sure whether your issue is chronic, ask your friends and family to tell you honestly whether they consider you a punctual person. If punctuality is truly an issue for you, you won't have been able to hide it from them.\\nCheck to see if your tardiness is the result of passive aggression. Being late can be a form of resentment at having to be a certain place to do a certain thing. If you think this is the case, try to change your events around, or otherwise practice accepting that which you can't change.\\nDon't be too hard on yourself if you have trouble being punctual, though. According to a study conducted in San Francisco, 20 percent of the US population has the same issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notice how being late affects others.\", \"描述\": \"You probably really want to be on time, and when you're late, you feel genuinely sorry for inconveniencing others. But if you're late again and again, people will feel that your behavior is inconsiderate. Being late puts other people in the position of having to wait for you. It's seen as a statement that you value your time more than you value theirs, even if you really don't feel that way.\\nThink of how you feel when someone else is the one who's late for a meeting. Do you appreciate having to sit alone in a restaurant while you wait for your friend to show up half an hour late? Be kind to people that are late while also telling them how you feel.\\nEventually, being late all the time will erode people's faith in your reliability, creating a negative impression that could eventually extend to matters other than punctuality.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get your adrenaline rush in other ways.\", \"描述\": \"Do you feel a little buzzed when you're rushing to beat the clock? It's like a game, and if you can get there before the timer runs out, you win. However, this exhilarating habit can have bad consequences when you lose your gamble with time too often. If you like the rush of adrenaline you feel when you're down to the wire, stop putting your appointments on the line and try to get it some other way, like by playing timed computer games, taking up track and field sports, or — if you really like the rush — parachuting from a plane.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make punctuality one of your core values.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn't seem as meaningful as honesty or integrity, but punctuality is intimately tied to these important values. When you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, and you don't show up, what does that say about you? When it happens over and over, might it affect others' impression of your integrity, or cause them to think twice about what you say? Try to take punctuality as seriously as you take other values you strive to uphold. If you care more about being punctual, you'll start being more punctual.\\nExamine the areas in which you're more likely to be flippant about punctuality. If there are certain people you don't bother meeting on time, or a certain class you always come to 15 minutes late, it's possible that the people and the class just aren't that important to you.\\nTry to spend your time doing things you care about doing, and do them with intention. Show up on time and be all in. When you care about what you're doing, and you're living with integrity, it feels right to get there on time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the rewards of being a punctual person.\", \"描述\": \"After a few weeks of rearranging your habits and thought patterns so you can be more punctual, it won't feel as difficult — and you'll start reaping the rewards of being the sort of person who's never late. Here are a few examples of the benefits you'll experience:\\nYou'll be much less stressed out on a daily basis, and you won't have to make excuses and apologize all the time.\\nYou'll probably experience a professional boost, since you'll no longer be late for work.\\nYour personal life will be uplifted as people begin to see you as a reliable person and trust you more.\\nBeing habitually punctual tends to have the effect of actually allowing you to be late from time to time, since people will start giving you the benefit of the doubt.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Kids are really good at making their parents late. Follow all the above tips, not just for yourself but also for your kids. Have their clothes ready (including coats and mittens), make sure they get baths the night before, etc. Take a few minutes the night before to make sure their books and homework are in their backpack, then place it by the door. Check for any permission slips that need signing. If your child is very young, make sure their diaper bag is always fully stocked. But some organized twelve year olds can definitely help you out!\\n\", \"If you take your lunch to work, pack it the night before.\\n\", \"Old military adage: If you're not 5 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late!\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t fool yourself into thinking nobody notices the latecomer. If you think you are more than occasionally late to work, school, church, appointments, etc., you can be sure others have noticed too.\\n\", \"Lateness is corrosive to good relations with friends, colleagues and of professional standing. Having a strong personality and being able to smooth over individual instances of lateness still leaves a building resentment. Holding people up who have planned and prepared work, journeys, meals, entertainment etc. generates a cumulative irritation and devaluing of you personally.\\n\", \"Remember your reputation is on the line. The power of showing up is limitless.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,076 | How to Be Quiet | 1. Being Quiet During a Conversation
1-1. Think before you speak.
People who are naturally loud do not possess this important skill. So, the next time you’re in a situation where you’re just dying to say something, pause, take a moment, and ask yourself if what you have to say will really help the situation. Will you be giving people information that they need, making people laugh, or offering words of comfort, or will you be saying something just to be heard? If you don’t think anyone will actually benefit from what you have to say, then keep it to yourself.
One rule to follow when you’re starting off is to say one of every two things you’re thinking. As you work on being more quiet, then you can say one of every three things, or one of every four things.
1-2. Don’t interrupt.
Don’t ever interrupt a person while he or she is talking unless you think what you have to say is crucial to the conversation. (Let’s face it. When is that ever the case?) Not only is it rude to interrupt people, but it will disrupt the flow of the conversation and will make you look like a loudmouth. If you really have a comment to make or a question to ask, then make a note of it and wait until the other person is done talking to see if what you have to say is still relevant.
You’d be surprised by how many of your questions will get answered anyway if you just let people talk.
1-3. Ask questions instead of talking about yourself.
If you’re working on being more quiet, then chances are that you tend to talk on and on about yourself or the things that really interest you instead of letting other people share their ideas. So, the next time you’re having a conversation and it’s your turn to speak, ask people questions to gain insight about the topic you’re discussing and to learn more about them, from what their hobbies are to what they like to do for fun.
You don’t have to make it sound like an interrogation or ask questions that make people uncomfortable. Keep things light, friendly, and polite and remember that conversation, in large part, is more about saying that you care about and are interested in the other person's thoughts, feelings, and point of view and less about sharing your “take on things.”
1-4. Count down from ten before you say something.
If you’ve thought of the most amazing comment to make ever, give it ten seconds. Count down from ten to see if the idea suddenly sounds less appealing, or to give other people time to chime in and to keep you from saying what you wanted to say. This is also a great technique if you’re feeling angry or upset and want to air your grievances. Giving yourself a little bit of time to calm down can keep you from saying something you’ll regret.
When you become a pro at this, you can even just count down from five. Even that short amount of time can help you see whether or not you should keep quiet.
1-5. Listen carefully.
If you want to be quiet, then you have to work on being a great listener. When someone is talking to you, make eye contact, pick up on important points, and try to read between the lines to figure out what the person is really saying and how he or she is really feeling. Let the person talk, don’t lose patience, and don’t fall victim to distractions like text messages.
Ask questions that help the person flesh out their ideas, but don’t ask something off-topic which will potentially confuse the person.
The more you work on being a good listener, the less compelled you will be to dominate the conversation. A good rule of thumb is to balance your talking and listening time, to make them equal. A balanced conversation is the most healthy.
1-6. Stop complaining.
If you find yourself spending a lot of your conversation time running down a litany of things that annoyed you today, the horrible traffic you faced this morning, the nasty email you got from a friend, how the cold this winter is crimping your style. It might help if you consider what responses are “on the table” for the other person. Where can the conversation go? Will anything productive result? What might the other feel about you and the attitude your words reflects?
If complaining about the things you can’t change really makes you feel better, then try writing them down in your journal. There’s really no need to complain out loud, is there?
If you have a real problem and need to talk about it, that’s fine. What we’re talking about here is your need to complain just for the sake of conversation.
1-7. Focus on your breath.
If you really feel antsy and want to start talking for no reason, just focus on your breath. Pay close attention the the rising and falling of your breath and work on breathing more deeply and evenly. Stop fidgeting and listen to what’s happening around you. Focus on how you’re thinking and feeling instead of on whatever it is you want to say so badly.
This technique will calm you down and will make you see that talking isn’t so important.
1-8. Take time to process what you hear.
You may be the kind of person who has an instant reaction to something that you hear and who wants to immediately blurt out everything that you’re thinking, wondering, sort of wondering, but this really isn’t the best way to tackle the situation. If you take the time to process whatever is happening and to fully form a question or a comment, then you’ll be able to speak much less and to ask or say something that is much more spot-on.
This will give you time to be your own internal editor and to not let out all of the “extra” stuff that isn’t doing anyone any good.
2. Being Quiet Throughout Your Day
2-1. Find a hobby that requires quiet.
Practicing being quiet on your own can help you be more quiet when you’re around people. One way to get some great practice being quiet is to find a hobby where you have to be quiet and preferably by yourself. Try painting, creative writing, yoga, song writing, stamp collecting, bird watching, or really anything at all that requires you to be quiet and to not say whatever is on your mind.
Reading is also great for helping you be quiet as you process the words in front of you.
Try going at least an hour without saying anything while you’re pursuing your hobby. Then go for two hours. Then three hours. Think you can go a whole day without saying a word?
2-2. Release your energy in other ways.
You may be talking a lot, some may say too much because you feel like you have so much energy and don’t know how to release it. So, find another outlet for saying all of the things on your mind that can help you get rid of all that extra stuff going on in your head.
Working out, especially running can help you get some great exercise while getting rid of that extra energy. So can taking long walks or cooking. Find whatever works for you.
2-3. Fight the temptation to chat online.
Talking online only fills your life with noise and most of what you say isn’t really that important. If you really wanted to talk to your friend, you would do it over the phone or in person instead of incessantly typing away at your computer, wouldn’t you? The next time you have the urge to go on g-chat to see what your 28th best friend is up to? Close your device and go for a walk instead.
2-4. Take breaks from social media.
Better yet, take a break from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other social media you may be using all too often. These sites are filled with noise, with people trying to impress each other, and with meaningless words that you may feel compelled to respond to. If you’re really addicted, then spend just 10-15 minutes a day on all of your social media sites instead of spending your time checking them every chance you get.
Wouldn’t you rather hear what your closest friends have to say in person instead of hearing what perfect strangers have to say to the world? Turn off all of the extra voices that you hear and focus only on the ones that matter.
2-5. Write in a journal.
Make a habit of writing in your journal at the end of every day or week. This can help you write down those extra thoughts, stay quiet, and feel like you’ve gotten everything off your chest without telling your fifteen best friends about it. You can just write about what happened during your day, which will lead you to ask more questions and to write about the deeper things on your mind.
You’ll be amazed by how much quieter you may be if you write just one journal page each day.
2-6. Meditate.
Meditating is a great way to turn off your mind and to keep your body and being quiet. Take 10-20 minute every morning to find a comfortable seat in a quiet room, close your eyes, and focus on your breath rising and falling from your body. Focus on relaxing your body one part at a time and notice what you hear, smell, feel, and sense as you’re sitting there. Banish any serious thoughts and focus just on being in the moment and appreciating the quiet, and you’ll be on your way to having a more centered, quiet day.
Meditating can keep you from feeling overwhelmed by giving you more control over your mind and body.
2-7. Appreciate nature.
Take a walk. Go to the beach. Look at all of the beautiful plants in the garden on the other side of town. Take a weekend trip to the woods. Do what you’ve gotta do to get closer to nature. You’ll be awed by the beauty and power of something so much more permanent than you are and you’ll feel all of your doubts and words melt away. It’s hard to keep chatting on and on about what you think will be on the next math quiz when you’re standing at the base of a beautiful mountain that has been in existence since the beginning of time.
Plug some nature time into your weekly routine. You can even bring your journal out to nature and write down your thoughts there.
2-8. Turn off the music.
Sure, music may make it more fun for you to study, to go running, or to commute to work. However, music can create extra noise that makes you feel a bit more chatty, frantic, and excitable. Classical music or jazz can be okay, but loud music with catchy lyrics can create noise that will bounce around in your head and keep you from feeling calm and in control of your day.
2-9. Give it time.
If you’re a naturally loud, talkative person, then you won’t be Ms. Quiet overnight. But if you make an effort to talk a little bit less each day, to pursue hobbies and activities that make you more quiet, and to focus on being a good listener instead of a good talker, you’ll be able to become more quiet sooner than you think. So sit back, have patience, and enjoy the feeling of all the extra noise draining from your head and from your vocal chords.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Quiet During a Conversation\\n1-1. Think before you speak.\\nPeople who are naturally loud do not possess this important skill. So, the next time you’re in a situation where you’re just dying to say something, pause, take a moment, and ask yourself if what you have to say will really help the situation. Will you be giving people information that they need, making people laugh, or offering words of comfort, or will you be saying something just to be heard? If you don’t think anyone will actually benefit from what you have to say, then keep it to yourself.\\nOne rule to follow when you’re starting off is to say one of every two things you’re thinking. As you work on being more quiet, then you can say one of every three things, or one of every four things.\\n1-2. Don’t interrupt.\\nDon’t ever interrupt a person while he or she is talking unless you think what you have to say is crucial to the conversation. (Let’s face it. When is that ever the case?) Not only is it rude to interrupt people, but it will disrupt the flow of the conversation and will make you look like a loudmouth. If you really have a comment to make or a question to ask, then make a note of it and wait until the other person is done talking to see if what you have to say is still relevant.\\nYou’d be surprised by how many of your questions will get answered anyway if you just let people talk.\\n1-3. Ask questions instead of talking about yourself.\\nIf you’re working on being more quiet, then chances are that you tend to talk on and on about yourself or the things that really interest you instead of letting other people share their ideas. So, the next time you’re having a conversation and it’s your turn to speak, ask people questions to gain insight about the topic you’re discussing and to learn more about them, from what their hobbies are to what they like to do for fun.\\nYou don’t have to make it sound like an interrogation or ask questions that make people uncomfortable. Keep things light, friendly, and polite and remember that conversation, in large part, is more about saying that you care about and are interested in the other person's thoughts, feelings, and point of view and less about sharing your “take on things.”\\n1-4. Count down from ten before you say something.\\nIf you’ve thought of the most amazing comment to make ever, give it ten seconds. Count down from ten to see if the idea suddenly sounds less appealing, or to give other people time to chime in and to keep you from saying what you wanted to say. This is also a great technique if you’re feeling angry or upset and want to air your grievances. Giving yourself a little bit of time to calm down can keep you from saying something you’ll regret.\\nWhen you become a pro at this, you can even just count down from five. Even that short amount of time can help you see whether or not you should keep quiet.\\n1-5. Listen carefully.\\nIf you want to be quiet, then you have to work on being a great listener. When someone is talking to you, make eye contact, pick up on important points, and try to read between the lines to figure out what the person is really saying and how he or she is really feeling. Let the person talk, don’t lose patience, and don’t fall victim to distractions like text messages.\\nAsk questions that help the person flesh out their ideas, but don’t ask something off-topic which will potentially confuse the person.\\nThe more you work on being a good listener, the less compelled you will be to dominate the conversation. A good rule of thumb is to balance your talking and listening time, to make them equal. A balanced conversation is the most healthy.\\n1-6. Stop complaining.\\nIf you find yourself spending a lot of your conversation time running down a litany of things that annoyed you today, the horrible traffic you faced this morning, the nasty email you got from a friend, how the cold this winter is crimping your style. It might help if you consider what responses are “on the table” for the other person. Where can the conversation go? Will anything productive result? What might the other feel about you and the attitude your words reflects?\\nIf complaining about the things you can’t change really makes you feel better, then try writing them down in your journal. There’s really no need to complain out loud, is there?\\nIf you have a real problem and need to talk about it, that’s fine. What we’re talking about here is your need to complain just for the sake of conversation.\\n1-7. Focus on your breath.\\nIf you really feel antsy and want to start talking for no reason, just focus on your breath. Pay close attention the the rising and falling of your breath and work on breathing more deeply and evenly. Stop fidgeting and listen to what’s happening around you. Focus on how you’re thinking and feeling instead of on whatever it is you want to say so badly.\\nThis technique will calm you down and will make you see that talking isn’t so important.\\n1-8. Take time to process what you hear.\\nYou may be the kind of person who has an instant reaction to something that you hear and who wants to immediately blurt out everything that you’re thinking, wondering, sort of wondering, but this really isn’t the best way to tackle the situation. If you take the time to process whatever is happening and to fully form a question or a comment, then you’ll be able to speak much less and to ask or say something that is much more spot-on.\\nThis will give you time to be your own internal editor and to not let out all of the “extra” stuff that isn’t doing anyone any good.\\n2. Being Quiet Throughout Your Day\\n2-1. Find a hobby that requires quiet.\\nPracticing being quiet on your own can help you be more quiet when you’re around people. One way to get some great practice being quiet is to find a hobby where you have to be quiet and preferably by yourself. Try painting, creative writing, yoga, song writing, stamp collecting, bird watching, or really anything at all that requires you to be quiet and to not say whatever is on your mind.\\nReading is also great for helping you be quiet as you process the words in front of you.\\nTry going at least an hour without saying anything while you’re pursuing your hobby. Then go for two hours. Then three hours. Think you can go a whole day without saying a word?\\n2-2. Release your energy in other ways.\\nYou may be talking a lot, some may say too much because you feel like you have so much energy and don’t know how to release it. So, find another outlet for saying all of the things on your mind that can help you get rid of all that extra stuff going on in your head.\\nWorking out, especially running can help you get some great exercise while getting rid of that extra energy. So can taking long walks or cooking. Find whatever works for you.\\n2-3. Fight the temptation to chat online.\\nTalking online only fills your life with noise and most of what you say isn’t really that important. If you really wanted to talk to your friend, you would do it over the phone or in person instead of incessantly typing away at your computer, wouldn’t you? The next time you have the urge to go on g-chat to see what your 28th best friend is up to? Close your device and go for a walk instead.\\n2-4. Take breaks from social media.\\nBetter yet, take a break from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other social media you may be using all too often. These sites are filled with noise, with people trying to impress each other, and with meaningless words that you may feel compelled to respond to. If you’re really addicted, then spend just 10-15 minutes a day on all of your social media sites instead of spending your time checking them every chance you get.\\nWouldn’t you rather hear what your closest friends have to say in person instead of hearing what perfect strangers have to say to the world? Turn off all of the extra voices that you hear and focus only on the ones that matter.\\n2-5. Write in a journal.\\nMake a habit of writing in your journal at the end of every day or week. This can help you write down those extra thoughts, stay quiet, and feel like you’ve gotten everything off your chest without telling your fifteen best friends about it. You can just write about what happened during your day, which will lead you to ask more questions and to write about the deeper things on your mind.\\nYou’ll be amazed by how much quieter you may be if you write just one journal page each day.\\n2-6. Meditate.\\nMeditating is a great way to turn off your mind and to keep your body and being quiet. Take 10-20 minute every morning to find a comfortable seat in a quiet room, close your eyes, and focus on your breath rising and falling from your body. Focus on relaxing your body one part at a time and notice what you hear, smell, feel, and sense as you’re sitting there. Banish any serious thoughts and focus just on being in the moment and appreciating the quiet, and you’ll be on your way to having a more centered, quiet day.\\nMeditating can keep you from feeling overwhelmed by giving you more control over your mind and body.\\n2-7. Appreciate nature.\\nTake a walk. Go to the beach. Look at all of the beautiful plants in the garden on the other side of town. Take a weekend trip to the woods. Do what you’ve gotta do to get closer to nature. You’ll be awed by the beauty and power of something so much more permanent than you are and you’ll feel all of your doubts and words melt away. It’s hard to keep chatting on and on about what you think will be on the next math quiz when you’re standing at the base of a beautiful mountain that has been in existence since the beginning of time.\\nPlug some nature time into your weekly routine. You can even bring your journal out to nature and write down your thoughts there.\\n2-8. Turn off the music.\\nSure, music may make it more fun for you to study, to go running, or to commute to work. However, music can create extra noise that makes you feel a bit more chatty, frantic, and excitable. Classical music or jazz can be okay, but loud music with catchy lyrics can create noise that will bounce around in your head and keep you from feeling calm and in control of your day.\\n2-9. Give it time.\\nIf you’re a naturally loud, talkative person, then you won’t be Ms. Quiet overnight. But if you make an effort to talk a little bit less each day, to pursue hobbies and activities that make you more quiet, and to focus on being a good listener instead of a good talker, you’ll be able to become more quiet sooner than you think. So sit back, have patience, and enjoy the feeling of all the extra noise draining from your head and from your vocal chords.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You know that quiet person in the corner of the room, listening carefully to friends and colleagues? Sometimes, silence is the key to success in relationships and work—but how can you learn to pipe down more in your life? It's actually way easier than you'd think. Below, we're teaching you how to embrace silence in your life, work, and friendships, so that you can reap the benefits and become a thoughtful, quiet observer. Ready to discover more? Read on.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Quiet During a Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"People who are naturally loud do not possess this important skill. So, the next time you’re in a situation where you’re just dying to say something, pause, take a moment, and ask yourself if what you have to say will really help the situation. Will you be giving people information that they need, making people laugh, or offering words of comfort, or will you be saying something just to be heard? If you don’t think anyone will actually benefit from what you have to say, then keep it to yourself.\\nOne rule to follow when you’re starting off is to say one of every two things you’re thinking. As you work on being more quiet, then you can say one of every three things, or one of every four things.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t interrupt.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t ever interrupt a person while he or she is talking unless you think what you have to say is crucial to the conversation. (Let’s face it. When is that ever the case?) Not only is it rude to interrupt people, but it will disrupt the flow of the conversation and will make you look like a loudmouth. If you really have a comment to make or a question to ask, then make a note of it and wait until the other person is done talking to see if what you have to say is still relevant.\\nYou’d be surprised by how many of your questions will get answered anyway if you just let people talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions instead of talking about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re working on being more quiet, then chances are that you tend to talk on and on about yourself or the things that really interest you instead of letting other people share their ideas. So, the next time you’re having a conversation and it’s your turn to speak, ask people questions to gain insight about the topic you’re discussing and to learn more about them, from what their hobbies are to what they like to do for fun.\\nYou don’t have to make it sound like an interrogation or ask questions that make people uncomfortable. Keep things light, friendly, and polite and remember that conversation, in large part, is more about saying that you care about and are interested in the other person's thoughts, feelings, and point of view and less about sharing your “take on things.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Count down from ten before you say something.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve thought of the most amazing comment to make ever, give it ten seconds. Count down from ten to see if the idea suddenly sounds less appealing, or to give other people time to chime in and to keep you from saying what you wanted to say. This is also a great technique if you’re feeling angry or upset and want to air your grievances. Giving yourself a little bit of time to calm down can keep you from saying something you’ll regret.\\nWhen you become a pro at this, you can even just count down from five. Even that short amount of time can help you see whether or not you should keep quiet.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen carefully.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be quiet, then you have to work on being a great listener. When someone is talking to you, make eye contact, pick up on important points, and try to read between the lines to figure out what the person is really saying and how he or she is really feeling. Let the person talk, don’t lose patience, and don’t fall victim to distractions like text messages.\\nAsk questions that help the person flesh out their ideas, but don’t ask something off-topic which will potentially confuse the person.\\nThe more you work on being a good listener, the less compelled you will be to dominate the conversation. A good rule of thumb is to balance your talking and listening time, to make them equal. A balanced conversation is the most healthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stop complaining.\", \"描述\": \"If you find yourself spending a lot of your conversation time running down a litany of things that annoyed you today, the horrible traffic you faced this morning, the nasty email you got from a friend, how the cold this winter is crimping your style. It might help if you consider what responses are “on the table” for the other person. Where can the conversation go? Will anything productive result? What might the other feel about you and the attitude your words reflects?\\nIf complaining about the things you can’t change really makes you feel better, then try writing them down in your journal. There’s really no need to complain out loud, is there?\\nIf you have a real problem and need to talk about it, that’s fine. What we’re talking about here is your need to complain just for the sake of conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Focus on your breath.\", \"描述\": \"If you really feel antsy and want to start talking for no reason, just focus on your breath. Pay close attention the the rising and falling of your breath and work on breathing more deeply and evenly. Stop fidgeting and listen to what’s happening around you. Focus on how you’re thinking and feeling instead of on whatever it is you want to say so badly.\\nThis technique will calm you down and will make you see that talking isn’t so important.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take time to process what you hear.\", \"描述\": \"You may be the kind of person who has an instant reaction to something that you hear and who wants to immediately blurt out everything that you’re thinking, wondering, sort of wondering, but this really isn’t the best way to tackle the situation. If you take the time to process whatever is happening and to fully form a question or a comment, then you’ll be able to speak much less and to ask or say something that is much more spot-on.\\nThis will give you time to be your own internal editor and to not let out all of the “extra” stuff that isn’t doing anyone any good.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Quiet Throughout Your Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a hobby that requires quiet.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing being quiet on your own can help you be more quiet when you’re around people. One way to get some great practice being quiet is to find a hobby where you have to be quiet and preferably by yourself. Try painting, creative writing, yoga, song writing, stamp collecting, bird watching, or really anything at all that requires you to be quiet and to not say whatever is on your mind.\\nReading is also great for helping you be quiet as you process the words in front of you.\\nTry going at least an hour without saying anything while you’re pursuing your hobby. Then go for two hours. Then three hours. Think you can go a whole day without saying a word?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Release your energy in other ways.\", \"描述\": \"You may be talking a lot, some may say too much because you feel like you have so much energy and don’t know how to release it. So, find another outlet for saying all of the things on your mind that can help you get rid of all that extra stuff going on in your head.\\nWorking out, especially running can help you get some great exercise while getting rid of that extra energy. So can taking long walks or cooking. Find whatever works for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fight the temptation to chat online.\", \"描述\": \"Talking online only fills your life with noise and most of what you say isn’t really that important. If you really wanted to talk to your friend, you would do it over the phone or in person instead of incessantly typing away at your computer, wouldn’t you? The next time you have the urge to go on g-chat to see what your 28th best friend is up to? Close your device and go for a walk instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take breaks from social media.\", \"描述\": \"Better yet, take a break from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other social media you may be using all too often. These sites are filled with noise, with people trying to impress each other, and with meaningless words that you may feel compelled to respond to. If you’re really addicted, then spend just 10-15 minutes a day on all of your social media sites instead of spending your time checking them every chance you get.\\nWouldn’t you rather hear what your closest friends have to say in person instead of hearing what perfect strangers have to say to the world? Turn off all of the extra voices that you hear and focus only on the ones that matter.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write in a journal.\", \"描述\": \"Make a habit of writing in your journal at the end of every day or week. This can help you write down those extra thoughts, stay quiet, and feel like you’ve gotten everything off your chest without telling your fifteen best friends about it. You can just write about what happened during your day, which will lead you to ask more questions and to write about the deeper things on your mind.\\nYou’ll be amazed by how much quieter you may be if you write just one journal page each day.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Meditate.\", \"描述\": \"Meditating is a great way to turn off your mind and to keep your body and being quiet. Take 10-20 minute every morning to find a comfortable seat in a quiet room, close your eyes, and focus on your breath rising and falling from your body. Focus on relaxing your body one part at a time and notice what you hear, smell, feel, and sense as you’re sitting there. Banish any serious thoughts and focus just on being in the moment and appreciating the quiet, and you’ll be on your way to having a more centered, quiet day.\\nMeditating can keep you from feeling overwhelmed by giving you more control over your mind and body.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Appreciate nature.\", \"描述\": \"Take a walk. Go to the beach. Look at all of the beautiful plants in the garden on the other side of town. Take a weekend trip to the woods. Do what you’ve gotta do to get closer to nature. You’ll be awed by the beauty and power of something so much more permanent than you are and you’ll feel all of your doubts and words melt away. It’s hard to keep chatting on and on about what you think will be on the next math quiz when you’re standing at the base of a beautiful mountain that has been in existence since the beginning of time.\\nPlug some nature time into your weekly routine. You can even bring your journal out to nature and write down your thoughts there.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Turn off the music.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, music may make it more fun for you to study, to go running, or to commute to work. However, music can create extra noise that makes you feel a bit more chatty, frantic, and excitable. Classical music or jazz can be okay, but loud music with catchy lyrics can create noise that will bounce around in your head and keep you from feeling calm and in control of your day.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Give it time.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re a naturally loud, talkative person, then you won’t be Ms. Quiet overnight. But if you make an effort to talk a little bit less each day, to pursue hobbies and activities that make you more quiet, and to focus on being a good listener instead of a good talker, you’ll be able to become more quiet sooner than you think. So sit back, have patience, and enjoy the feeling of all the extra noise draining from your head and from your vocal chords.\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
4,077 | How to Be Quiet During Class | 1. Cutting Down on Socializing in Class
1-1. Inform your friends.
Don't tell your friends to stop talking to you. Rather, gently explain your reasons for wanting to make this big change. This way, your friends won't feel hurt and they will support you.
For example, you could say: "Hey, as a heads up, I'm trying to improve my grade this semester. I won't be able to chat as much during class anymore."
1-2. Ask your friends to stop talking to you.
If your friends keep talking you and you feel forced to respond, explain that you do not want to get in trouble anymore for talking during class. Make it clear that your studies are important to you, and that you would be happy to talk later.
For example, you could say: "I miss joking with you during class too, but I really need to bring my grade up. Why don't we chat after class when we have more time?"
1-3. Move your seat.
If somebody continually disrespects your request, change seats. If you have assigned seating, ask your teacher after class if you can move desks. Tell your teacher that you are becoming distracted in your current spot.
Teachers are often willing to move you to a different seat if they know that it will help you focus more in class.
1-4. Start an open journal.
If things you would like to say to your friends keep coming up during class, consider writing them down! It can be a fun idea to start an “open journal” with a few of your friends. An open journal is a journal that a few people share and pass between them. This can be a lot of fun, and it also helps you to communicate without breaking the rules in class.
Some teachers don't like it when you pass journals back and forth. Make sure that this won't be a distraction to other students, including yourself.
If you can't pass the journal back and forth during class, just write your thoughts and comments in the journal, then give it to your friends after class.
1-5. Practice tolerance in class.
If you talk a lot because you are angry or upset with others, learn to control how you respond. The next time somebody says something rude, simply stay quiet and nod toward the teacher to indicate that you are trying to pay attention. Raise your hand and speak to the teacher if the other person does not stop.
If the situation is delicate and you would prefer not to make a scene, speak to your teacher after class instead. If there's no time after class, visit them during their office hours.
1-6. Silence your phone and put it away before class begins.
If texting, playing games, or checking social media during class is still too tempting, consider turning your phone off. Alternatively, leave it in your locker.
Notifications and other audio sounds coming from your cell phone can be a huge distraction to your teacher, classmates, and even yourself.
2. Exercising Some Discipline
2-1. Make a commitment.
Every morning before you go to school, remind yourself not to talk or make noise in class. Just say it aloud before you get out of bed, or while in the bathroom. By reaffirming your dedication every day, you will be solidifying it in your mind.
Don't expect this to happen overnight. It may take at least a week before you start noticing any results.
2-2. Avoid eating in class.
Another way that you can exercise discipline and increase your ability to be quiet is to avoid eating during class. Eating during class involves the rustling of packages, sounds of chewing, and a general distraction for yourself and those around you. Instead, try to eat a balanced breakfast and to snack between classes only.
This does not include drinking water, especially if it is hot. Staying hydrated is important, and many teachers do allow water bottles in the classroom.
2-3. Set small goals.
It may be too big of stretch to simply switch to not making noise in any of your classes. Instead, start with smaller goals and work your way up. For example, if you tend to be very chatty in a particular class, work to stay quiet in just that one class. After a few days, maybe you can add 1-2 more classes to your “quiet list.” Keep moving in this direction until you can maintain this behavior throughout the day.
2-4. Use a reward system.
You may consider implementing a reward system for yourself. Tell yourself you will only watch your favorite show or play your favorite game if you manage to go a specific length of time without talking or making noise out of turn. This is a great practice for developing a sense of self-discipline and pride in your work.
If you don't watch TV or play games, you could reward yourself with your favorite treat during lunch time or after school.
2-5. Pay attention to the behavior of others.
Your entire life will be full of all kinds of different situations. In some of them, you will be free to talk and make noise as you please; in most, you will not. It is important to know what behavior is appropriate in which situation, as well as how to control your behavior.
Take a look at the students who are talking and acting up in class. Chances are, they aren’t portraying a very positive image.
Look instead for positive role models, such as the students who pay attention and take notes, and model your behavior after them.
2-6. Let loose during breaks.
Of course, nobody wants to be quiet all the time. It wouldn’t be healthy to do so! Instead, get all your talking out during the appropriate times, such as lunch, passing periods, or other break times. Use these moments to blow off steam, so that when class begins again you can focus.
3. Focusing on Your Studies
3-1. Come to class prepared.
You are going to have a much easier time refraining from making noise in class if you are paying attention, and if you understand what you are learning. One way to help ensure this is to come to class fully prepared. This means doing any assigned reading or other homework, bringing the proper books or other materials, and just making sure that you understand the unit you are covering. If you are not sure about what you’re learning, take some time to speak to your teacher and get caught up.
Part of being prepared also means arriving on time.
Get to class a few minutes early, so that you can get out any books, notebooks, or other materials, and avoid rummaging through your bag during class. (This is another way to stay quiet.)
3-2. Pay attention
If you talk because you are bored, you are missing out on your education. Even a slow lecture can be filled with interesting information. By keeping your mind on the class, you’’ll be reducing the temptation to talk just to pass the time.
Another benefit to paying attention in class is that you may learn information that may come up on a test; not everything will come from the textbook!
3-3. Take notes in class.
One tactic to help you stay engaged during class is to take notes. Write down what your teacher says in a way that will make sense to you later. Also, write down any questions you may have. Even doodling on a piece of scrap paper will occupy you enough to help keep you from talking or making noise, while still leaving you with enough focus to understand the teacher.
There are lots of different ways to take notes, so experiment with them until you find one that works the best for you.
3-4. Participate in class.
Aside from just listening to what your teacher says, you can stay engaged and prevent yourself from making too much noise by actually participating in class. Whenever you think of a question or comment, raise your hand and state it. In addition to preventing you from talking, this is sure to improve your grade.
Sometimes, participating in class is all you need to satisfy the urge to talk. This means that you'll be able to get that chatter out while racking up those participation points.
3-5. Find a way to engage with the material.
Any class is going to be more interesting to you if you can find a way to engage with the material and apply it to your life. Ask yourself questions like "How does this affect my life?" and "How will I be able to use this information outside of class?" For example:
You can use some of the algebra you’ve been learning to calculate how much gas money you’ll need for an upcoming road trip.
If your friends are having an argument, you can use some of the communication theories you’ve learned in sociology to help them resolve it.
The book that you are reading in English can become a great analogy for your life, and help you overcome some hardships.
Tips
When in doubt, ask your teacher for help. Your teacher will be glad to make suggestions and work with you to help you develop better speaking habits.[17]
X
Expert Source
Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor
Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
Try to bite your lip, not hard but enough to prevent you from talking or laughing.
Only respond if the teacher is talking to you.
Warnings
Classmates and teachers may be surprised by the change in your behavior; however, it is likely to be a pleasant surprise for them, so don't worry too much about it.
Friends may briefly get mad at you for not talking to them. Once you explain yourself, there should be no problem.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:40",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Cutting Down on Socializing in Class\\n1-1. Inform your friends.\\nDon't tell your friends to stop talking to you. Rather, gently explain your reasons for wanting to make this big change. This way, your friends won't feel hurt and they will support you.\\nFor example, you could say: \\\"Hey, as a heads up, I'm trying to improve my grade this semester. I won't be able to chat as much during class anymore.\\\"\\n1-2. Ask your friends to stop talking to you.\\nIf your friends keep talking you and you feel forced to respond, explain that you do not want to get in trouble anymore for talking during class. Make it clear that your studies are important to you, and that you would be happy to talk later.\\nFor example, you could say: \\\"I miss joking with you during class too, but I really need to bring my grade up. Why don't we chat after class when we have more time?\\\"\\n1-3. Move your seat.\\nIf somebody continually disrespects your request, change seats. If you have assigned seating, ask your teacher after class if you can move desks. Tell your teacher that you are becoming distracted in your current spot.\\nTeachers are often willing to move you to a different seat if they know that it will help you focus more in class.\\n1-4. Start an open journal.\\nIf things you would like to say to your friends keep coming up during class, consider writing them down! It can be a fun idea to start an “open journal” with a few of your friends. An open journal is a journal that a few people share and pass between them. This can be a lot of fun, and it also helps you to communicate without breaking the rules in class.\\nSome teachers don't like it when you pass journals back and forth. Make sure that this won't be a distraction to other students, including yourself.\\nIf you can't pass the journal back and forth during class, just write your thoughts and comments in the journal, then give it to your friends after class.\\n1-5. Practice tolerance in class.\\nIf you talk a lot because you are angry or upset with others, learn to control how you respond. The next time somebody says something rude, simply stay quiet and nod toward the teacher to indicate that you are trying to pay attention. Raise your hand and speak to the teacher if the other person does not stop.\\nIf the situation is delicate and you would prefer not to make a scene, speak to your teacher after class instead. If there's no time after class, visit them during their office hours.\\n1-6. Silence your phone and put it away before class begins.\\nIf texting, playing games, or checking social media during class is still too tempting, consider turning your phone off. Alternatively, leave it in your locker.\\nNotifications and other audio sounds coming from your cell phone can be a huge distraction to your teacher, classmates, and even yourself.\\n2. Exercising Some Discipline\\n2-1. Make a commitment.\\nEvery morning before you go to school, remind yourself not to talk or make noise in class. Just say it aloud before you get out of bed, or while in the bathroom. By reaffirming your dedication every day, you will be solidifying it in your mind.\\nDon't expect this to happen overnight. It may take at least a week before you start noticing any results.\\n2-2. Avoid eating in class.\\nAnother way that you can exercise discipline and increase your ability to be quiet is to avoid eating during class. Eating during class involves the rustling of packages, sounds of chewing, and a general distraction for yourself and those around you. Instead, try to eat a balanced breakfast and to snack between classes only.\\nThis does not include drinking water, especially if it is hot. Staying hydrated is important, and many teachers do allow water bottles in the classroom.\\n2-3. Set small goals.\\nIt may be too big of stretch to simply switch to not making noise in any of your classes. Instead, start with smaller goals and work your way up. For example, if you tend to be very chatty in a particular class, work to stay quiet in just that one class. After a few days, maybe you can add 1-2 more classes to your “quiet list.” Keep moving in this direction until you can maintain this behavior throughout the day.\\n2-4. Use a reward system.\\nYou may consider implementing a reward system for yourself. Tell yourself you will only watch your favorite show or play your favorite game if you manage to go a specific length of time without talking or making noise out of turn. This is a great practice for developing a sense of self-discipline and pride in your work.\\nIf you don't watch TV or play games, you could reward yourself with your favorite treat during lunch time or after school.\\n2-5. Pay attention to the behavior of others.\\nYour entire life will be full of all kinds of different situations. In some of them, you will be free to talk and make noise as you please; in most, you will not. It is important to know what behavior is appropriate in which situation, as well as how to control your behavior.\\nTake a look at the students who are talking and acting up in class. Chances are, they aren’t portraying a very positive image.\\nLook instead for positive role models, such as the students who pay attention and take notes, and model your behavior after them.\\n2-6. Let loose during breaks.\\nOf course, nobody wants to be quiet all the time. It wouldn’t be healthy to do so! Instead, get all your talking out during the appropriate times, such as lunch, passing periods, or other break times. Use these moments to blow off steam, so that when class begins again you can focus.\\n3. Focusing on Your Studies\\n3-1. Come to class prepared.\\nYou are going to have a much easier time refraining from making noise in class if you are paying attention, and if you understand what you are learning. One way to help ensure this is to come to class fully prepared. This means doing any assigned reading or other homework, bringing the proper books or other materials, and just making sure that you understand the unit you are covering. If you are not sure about what you’re learning, take some time to speak to your teacher and get caught up.\\nPart of being prepared also means arriving on time.\\nGet to class a few minutes early, so that you can get out any books, notebooks, or other materials, and avoid rummaging through your bag during class. (This is another way to stay quiet.)\\n3-2. Pay attention\\nIf you talk because you are bored, you are missing out on your education. Even a slow lecture can be filled with interesting information. By keeping your mind on the class, you’’ll be reducing the temptation to talk just to pass the time.\\nAnother benefit to paying attention in class is that you may learn information that may come up on a test; not everything will come from the textbook!\\n3-3. Take notes in class.\\nOne tactic to help you stay engaged during class is to take notes. Write down what your teacher says in a way that will make sense to you later. Also, write down any questions you may have. Even doodling on a piece of scrap paper will occupy you enough to help keep you from talking or making noise, while still leaving you with enough focus to understand the teacher.\\nThere are lots of different ways to take notes, so experiment with them until you find one that works the best for you.\\n3-4. Participate in class.\\nAside from just listening to what your teacher says, you can stay engaged and prevent yourself from making too much noise by actually participating in class. Whenever you think of a question or comment, raise your hand and state it. In addition to preventing you from talking, this is sure to improve your grade.\\nSometimes, participating in class is all you need to satisfy the urge to talk. This means that you'll be able to get that chatter out while racking up those participation points.\\n3-5. Find a way to engage with the material.\\nAny class is going to be more interesting to you if you can find a way to engage with the material and apply it to your life. Ask yourself questions like \\\"How does this affect my life?\\\" and \\\"How will I be able to use this information outside of class?\\\" For example:\\nYou can use some of the algebra you’ve been learning to calculate how much gas money you’ll need for an upcoming road trip.\\nIf your friends are having an argument, you can use some of the communication theories you’ve learned in sociology to help them resolve it.\\nThe book that you are reading in English can become a great analogy for your life, and help you overcome some hardships.\\nTips\\nWhen in doubt, ask your teacher for help. Your teacher will be glad to make suggestions and work with you to help you develop better speaking habits.[17]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nKatie StyzekProfessional School Counselor\\nExpert Interview. 28 October 2020.\\nTry to bite your lip, not hard but enough to prevent you from talking or laughing.\\nOnly respond if the teacher is talking to you.\\nWarnings\\nClassmates and teachers may be surprised by the change in your behavior; however, it is likely to be a pleasant surprise for them, so don't worry too much about it.\\nFriends may briefly get mad at you for not talking to them. Once you explain yourself, there should be no problem.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are a social person, you may like talking to your friends during class. If you are a restless person, it may be hard to stop yourself from playing on your phone, rummaging through your bag, or playing in your desk. If these behaviors go unchecked, however, it can hurt your grades, your reputation with teachers and can ultimately hold you back from learning. You can work to stop making noise in class by finding a way to negotiate the “social” side of class, practicing self-discipline, and focusing on your studies.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Cutting Down on Socializing in Class\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Inform your friends.\", \"描述\": \"Don't tell your friends to stop talking to you. Rather, gently explain your reasons for wanting to make this big change. This way, your friends won't feel hurt and they will support you.\\nFor example, you could say: \\\"Hey, as a heads up, I'm trying to improve my grade this semester. I won't be able to chat as much during class anymore.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask your friends to stop talking to you.\", \"描述\": \"If your friends keep talking you and you feel forced to respond, explain that you do not want to get in trouble anymore for talking during class. Make it clear that your studies are important to you, and that you would be happy to talk later.\\nFor example, you could say: \\\"I miss joking with you during class too, but I really need to bring my grade up. Why don't we chat after class when we have more time?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Move your seat.\", \"描述\": \"If somebody continually disrespects your request, change seats. If you have assigned seating, ask your teacher after class if you can move desks. Tell your teacher that you are becoming distracted in your current spot.\\nTeachers are often willing to move you to a different seat if they know that it will help you focus more in class.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start an open journal.\", \"描述\": \"If things you would like to say to your friends keep coming up during class, consider writing them down! It can be a fun idea to start an “open journal” with a few of your friends. An open journal is a journal that a few people share and pass between them. This can be a lot of fun, and it also helps you to communicate without breaking the rules in class.\\nSome teachers don't like it when you pass journals back and forth. Make sure that this won't be a distraction to other students, including yourself.\\nIf you can't pass the journal back and forth during class, just write your thoughts and comments in the journal, then give it to your friends after class.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice tolerance in class.\", \"描述\": \"If you talk a lot because you are angry or upset with others, learn to control how you respond. The next time somebody says something rude, simply stay quiet and nod toward the teacher to indicate that you are trying to pay attention. Raise your hand and speak to the teacher if the other person does not stop.\\nIf the situation is delicate and you would prefer not to make a scene, speak to your teacher after class instead. If there's no time after class, visit them during their office hours.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Silence your phone and put it away before class begins.\", \"描述\": \"If texting, playing games, or checking social media during class is still too tempting, consider turning your phone off. Alternatively, leave it in your locker.\\nNotifications and other audio sounds coming from your cell phone can be a huge distraction to your teacher, classmates, and even yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercising Some Discipline\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a commitment.\", \"描述\": \"Every morning before you go to school, remind yourself not to talk or make noise in class. Just say it aloud before you get out of bed, or while in the bathroom. By reaffirming your dedication every day, you will be solidifying it in your mind.\\nDon't expect this to happen overnight. It may take at least a week before you start noticing any results.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid eating in class.\", \"描述\": \"Another way that you can exercise discipline and increase your ability to be quiet is to avoid eating during class. Eating during class involves the rustling of packages, sounds of chewing, and a general distraction for yourself and those around you. Instead, try to eat a balanced breakfast and to snack between classes only.\\nThis does not include drinking water, especially if it is hot. Staying hydrated is important, and many teachers do allow water bottles in the classroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set small goals.\", \"描述\": \"It may be too big of stretch to simply switch to not making noise in any of your classes. Instead, start with smaller goals and work your way up. For example, if you tend to be very chatty in a particular class, work to stay quiet in just that one class. After a few days, maybe you can add 1-2 more classes to your “quiet list.” Keep moving in this direction until you can maintain this behavior throughout the day.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use a reward system.\", \"描述\": \"You may consider implementing a reward system for yourself. Tell yourself you will only watch your favorite show or play your favorite game if you manage to go a specific length of time without talking or making noise out of turn. This is a great practice for developing a sense of self-discipline and pride in your work.\\nIf you don't watch TV or play games, you could reward yourself with your favorite treat during lunch time or after school.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the behavior of others.\", \"描述\": \"Your entire life will be full of all kinds of different situations. In some of them, you will be free to talk and make noise as you please; in most, you will not. It is important to know what behavior is appropriate in which situation, as well as how to control your behavior.\\nTake a look at the students who are talking and acting up in class. Chances are, they aren’t portraying a very positive image.\\nLook instead for positive role models, such as the students who pay attention and take notes, and model your behavior after them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Let loose during breaks.\", \"描述\": \"Of course, nobody wants to be quiet all the time. It wouldn’t be healthy to do so! Instead, get all your talking out during the appropriate times, such as lunch, passing periods, or other break times. Use these moments to blow off steam, so that when class begins again you can focus.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focusing on Your Studies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Come to class prepared.\", \"描述\": \"You are going to have a much easier time refraining from making noise in class if you are paying attention, and if you understand what you are learning. One way to help ensure this is to come to class fully prepared. This means doing any assigned reading or other homework, bringing the proper books or other materials, and just making sure that you understand the unit you are covering. If you are not sure about what you’re learning, take some time to speak to your teacher and get caught up.\\nPart of being prepared also means arriving on time.\\nGet to class a few minutes early, so that you can get out any books, notebooks, or other materials, and avoid rummaging through your bag during class. (This is another way to stay quiet.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention\", \"描述\": \"If you talk because you are bored, you are missing out on your education. Even a slow lecture can be filled with interesting information. By keeping your mind on the class, you’’ll be reducing the temptation to talk just to pass the time.\\nAnother benefit to paying attention in class is that you may learn information that may come up on a test; not everything will come from the textbook!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take notes in class.\", \"描述\": \"One tactic to help you stay engaged during class is to take notes. Write down what your teacher says in a way that will make sense to you later. Also, write down any questions you may have. Even doodling on a piece of scrap paper will occupy you enough to help keep you from talking or making noise, while still leaving you with enough focus to understand the teacher.\\nThere are lots of different ways to take notes, so experiment with them until you find one that works the best for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Participate in class.\", \"描述\": \"Aside from just listening to what your teacher says, you can stay engaged and prevent yourself from making too much noise by actually participating in class. Whenever you think of a question or comment, raise your hand and state it. In addition to preventing you from talking, this is sure to improve your grade.\\nSometimes, participating in class is all you need to satisfy the urge to talk. This means that you'll be able to get that chatter out while racking up those participation points.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find a way to engage with the material.\", \"描述\": \"Any class is going to be more interesting to you if you can find a way to engage with the material and apply it to your life. Ask yourself questions like \\\"How does this affect my life?\\\" and \\\"How will I be able to use this information outside of class?\\\" For example:\\nYou can use some of the algebra you’ve been learning to calculate how much gas money you’ll need for an upcoming road trip.\\nIf your friends are having an argument, you can use some of the communication theories you’ve learned in sociology to help them resolve it.\\nThe book that you are reading in English can become a great analogy for your life, and help you overcome some hardships.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When in doubt, ask your teacher for help. Your teacher will be glad to make suggestions and work with you to help you develop better speaking habits.[17]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nKatie StyzekProfessional School Counselor\\nExpert Interview. 28 October 2020.\\n\", \"Try to bite your lip, not hard but enough to prevent you from talking or laughing.\\n\", \"Only respond if the teacher is talking to you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Classmates and teachers may be surprised by the change in your behavior; however, it is likely to be a pleasant surprise for them, so don't worry too much about it.\\n\", \"Friends may briefly get mad at you for not talking to them. Once you explain yourself, there should be no problem.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,078 | Quiet Sex: 13 Simple (and Spicy) Ways to Be Quiet in Bed | 1. Amp up the foreplay.
Extra foreplay will cut down the volume in bed.
There are plenty of quiet ways to turn up the heat with your partner, like simple kisses and caresses. This bonus foreplay will leave you both extra aroused, and may cut down the noise as you get intimate.
There are tons of quiet ways to get the foreplay going. Sexting and dirty talk are some great options, or you could watch an erotic movie together.
2. Have sex in the late evening or early morning.
You’re less likely to be disturbed if you get intimate at odd hours.
While this isn’t a foolproof solution, you’re less likely to be caught or interrupted during the late evening or early morning.
3. Hop in the shower.
Running water can mask your love-making.
Invite your partner to join you in the bathroom. If you’re living with children or houseguests, pick a time when not as many people are angling to use the shower.
Be really careful whenever you have shower sex. For your safety, place a non-slip mat on the floor ahead of time. Since condoms don’t hold up well in the shower, double-check that you have another pregnancy/STI prevention measure at the ready.
4. Switch to a quieter room.
Move to a place where no one can hear you.
If you have the space at home, take your partner to a quieter area, like the basement, where your intimate moments won’t be as noticeable.
5. Move to the floor.
The floor eliminates the squeaky mattress factor.
Drape a big quilt or other comfy bedding on the floor before things get hot and heavy. On the floor, you don’t have to worry about noisy mattress springs or creaking bed frames as you get intimate.
6. Breathe with your nose.
Breathing through your mouth is a lot louder than nose-breathing.
As things get hot and heavy, try to focus on breathing through your nose instead of panting and gasping from your mouth. Plus, experts agree that nose-breathing can actually make the sex even better.
When you breathe through your nose, your diaphragm and pelvic floor work a little differently, so your orgasm might feel even better.
7. Slow things down.
Slow sex can cut down on the screams and yells.
Take it slow with your partner, working your way up to an orgasm. It’ll still feel great, but the slower pace will transform your screams into moans.
8. Mask your activities with extra noise.
Music and white noise are great ways to hide what you’re really up to.
Pick out some background music before you head to bed, so nearby neighbors, houseguests, and/or children won’t be the wiser. A white noise machine can also do the trick.
In a pinch, turn on the TV for some extra noise.
9. Muffle yourself.
Spice things up with a gag.
Gags may be on the kinky side, but they’re great at lowering the volume while you’re in bed. If you don’t have an actual gag on hand, a tie or sock will do the trick as you and your partner get intimate.
To use a ball gag, place the center of the gag in your mouth. Then, secure both straps along the back of your head.
It’s okay if you don’t have a gag! Biting your hand or covering your mouth are other simple, effective ways to cut down on the noise.
10. Kiss when you climax.
Kissing is a great way to mask an orgasm.
Making noise is a natural, expected part of sex, but it isn’t ideal when there are other people around. Right when you climax, kiss your partner instead of yelling out. This also adds a sexy, passionate touch to the end of your love-making.
11. Choose a sex position that’s quieter than what you usually do.
Positions like spooning are a lot less noisy.
Experts also agree that 69-ing is a great, quiet way to have sex. You could also get intimate standing up, which is a lot less noisy than doing it in your bed.
Try not to have stand-up sex near walls bordering your neighbors, children, or houseguests.
12. Pick out quiet toys.
Silent sex toys are great for both sex and masturbation.
Shop online for highly-rated, silent toys and wands. These quiet toys can provide lots of pleasure without any loud, noticeable vibrations.
13. Muffle some of the extra noise your bed makes.
Believe it or not, old socks can make your bed less squeaky.
Slide the mattress off your bed, revealing the mattress slats. Place old socks on top of these slats, and slide your mattress back on top. These socks will act as a cushion between your mattress and bed frame.
You might prefer switching to a quieter, springless mattress, which won’t make as much noise when you’re intimate.
Tips
Turn your intimacy into a fun game with your partner. In this “game,” challenge your partner to see who can be the quietest during sex.[21]
X
Research source
Touching and teasing might be a little less noisy than what you usually do.[22]
X
Research source
Mutual masturbation is another great way to keep things quiet.[23]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Amp up the foreplay.\\nExtra foreplay will cut down the volume in bed.\\nThere are plenty of quiet ways to turn up the heat with your partner, like simple kisses and caresses. This bonus foreplay will leave you both extra aroused, and may cut down the noise as you get intimate.\\nThere are tons of quiet ways to get the foreplay going. Sexting and dirty talk are some great options, or you could watch an erotic movie together.\\n2. Have sex in the late evening or early morning.\\nYou’re less likely to be disturbed if you get intimate at odd hours.\\nWhile this isn’t a foolproof solution, you’re less likely to be caught or interrupted during the late evening or early morning.\\n3. Hop in the shower.\\nRunning water can mask your love-making.\\nInvite your partner to join you in the bathroom. If you’re living with children or houseguests, pick a time when not as many people are angling to use the shower.\\nBe really careful whenever you have shower sex. For your safety, place a non-slip mat on the floor ahead of time. Since condoms don’t hold up well in the shower, double-check that you have another pregnancy/STI prevention measure at the ready.\\n4. Switch to a quieter room.\\nMove to a place where no one can hear you.\\nIf you have the space at home, take your partner to a quieter area, like the basement, where your intimate moments won’t be as noticeable.\\n5. Move to the floor.\\nThe floor eliminates the squeaky mattress factor.\\nDrape a big quilt or other comfy bedding on the floor before things get hot and heavy. On the floor, you don’t have to worry about noisy mattress springs or creaking bed frames as you get intimate.\\n6. Breathe with your nose.\\nBreathing through your mouth is a lot louder than nose-breathing.\\nAs things get hot and heavy, try to focus on breathing through your nose instead of panting and gasping from your mouth. Plus, experts agree that nose-breathing can actually make the sex even better.\\nWhen you breathe through your nose, your diaphragm and pelvic floor work a little differently, so your orgasm might feel even better.\\n7. Slow things down.\\nSlow sex can cut down on the screams and yells.\\nTake it slow with your partner, working your way up to an orgasm. It’ll still feel great, but the slower pace will transform your screams into moans.\\n8. Mask your activities with extra noise.\\nMusic and white noise are great ways to hide what you’re really up to.\\nPick out some background music before you head to bed, so nearby neighbors, houseguests, and/or children won’t be the wiser. A white noise machine can also do the trick.\\nIn a pinch, turn on the TV for some extra noise.\\n9. Muffle yourself.\\nSpice things up with a gag.\\nGags may be on the kinky side, but they’re great at lowering the volume while you’re in bed. If you don’t have an actual gag on hand, a tie or sock will do the trick as you and your partner get intimate.\\nTo use a ball gag, place the center of the gag in your mouth. Then, secure both straps along the back of your head.\\nIt’s okay if you don’t have a gag! Biting your hand or covering your mouth are other simple, effective ways to cut down on the noise.\\n10. Kiss when you climax.\\nKissing is a great way to mask an orgasm.\\nMaking noise is a natural, expected part of sex, but it isn’t ideal when there are other people around. Right when you climax, kiss your partner instead of yelling out. This also adds a sexy, passionate touch to the end of your love-making.\\n11. Choose a sex position that’s quieter than what you usually do.\\nPositions like spooning are a lot less noisy.\\nExperts also agree that 69-ing is a great, quiet way to have sex. You could also get intimate standing up, which is a lot less noisy than doing it in your bed.\\nTry not to have stand-up sex near walls bordering your neighbors, children, or houseguests.\\n12. Pick out quiet toys.\\nSilent sex toys are great for both sex and masturbation.\\nShop online for highly-rated, silent toys and wands. These quiet toys can provide lots of pleasure without any loud, noticeable vibrations.\\n13. Muffle some of the extra noise your bed makes.\\nBelieve it or not, old socks can make your bed less squeaky.\\nSlide the mattress off your bed, revealing the mattress slats. Place old socks on top of these slats, and slide your mattress back on top. These socks will act as a cushion between your mattress and bed frame.\\nYou might prefer switching to a quieter, springless mattress, which won’t make as much noise when you’re intimate.\\nTips\\nTurn your intimacy into a fun game with your partner. In this “game,” challenge your partner to see who can be the quietest during sex.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTouching and teasing might be a little less noisy than what you usually do.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\nMutual masturbation is another great way to keep things quiet.[23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Angling for some one-on-one time with your partner? This can be a bit challenging, especially if you have children at home, company visiting, or neighbors close by. Don’t worry. There are plenty of ways you can keep the volume down while still turning up the heat. We’ve put together a few tips and suggestions to help you get started!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Amp up the foreplay.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Extra foreplay will cut down the volume in bed.\", \"描述\": \"There are plenty of quiet ways to turn up the heat with your partner, like simple kisses and caresses. This bonus foreplay will leave you both extra aroused, and may cut down the noise as you get intimate.\\nThere are tons of quiet ways to get the foreplay going. Sexting and dirty talk are some great options, or you could watch an erotic movie together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have sex in the late evening or early morning.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’re less likely to be disturbed if you get intimate at odd hours.\", \"描述\": \"While this isn’t a foolproof solution, you’re less likely to be caught or interrupted during the late evening or early morning.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hop in the shower.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Running water can mask your love-making.\", \"描述\": \"Invite your partner to join you in the bathroom. If you’re living with children or houseguests, pick a time when not as many people are angling to use the shower.\\nBe really careful whenever you have shower sex. For your safety, place a non-slip mat on the floor ahead of time. Since condoms don’t hold up well in the shower, double-check that you have another pregnancy/STI prevention measure at the ready.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Switch to a quieter room.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Move to a place where no one can hear you.\", \"描述\": \"If you have the space at home, take your partner to a quieter area, like the basement, where your intimate moments won’t be as noticeable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Move to the floor.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The floor eliminates the squeaky mattress factor.\", \"描述\": \"Drape a big quilt or other comfy bedding on the floor before things get hot and heavy. On the floor, you don’t have to worry about noisy mattress springs or creaking bed frames as you get intimate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Breathe with your nose.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Breathing through your mouth is a lot louder than nose-breathing.\", \"描述\": \"As things get hot and heavy, try to focus on breathing through your nose instead of panting and gasping from your mouth. Plus, experts agree that nose-breathing can actually make the sex even better.\\nWhen you breathe through your nose, your diaphragm and pelvic floor work a little differently, so your orgasm might feel even better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Slow things down.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Slow sex can cut down on the screams and yells.\", \"描述\": \"Take it slow with your partner, working your way up to an orgasm. It’ll still feel great, but the slower pace will transform your screams into moans.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Mask your activities with extra noise.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Music and white noise are great ways to hide what you’re really up to.\", \"描述\": \"Pick out some background music before you head to bed, so nearby neighbors, houseguests, and/or children won’t be the wiser. A white noise machine can also do the trick.\\nIn a pinch, turn on the TV for some extra noise.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Muffle yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spice things up with a gag.\", \"描述\": \"Gags may be on the kinky side, but they’re great at lowering the volume while you’re in bed. If you don’t have an actual gag on hand, a tie or sock will do the trick as you and your partner get intimate.\\nTo use a ball gag, place the center of the gag in your mouth. Then, secure both straps along the back of your head.\\nIt’s okay if you don’t have a gag! Biting your hand or covering your mouth are other simple, effective ways to cut down on the noise.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Kiss when you climax.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Kissing is a great way to mask an orgasm.\", \"描述\": \"Making noise is a natural, expected part of sex, but it isn’t ideal when there are other people around. Right when you climax, kiss your partner instead of yelling out. This also adds a sexy, passionate touch to the end of your love-making.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Choose a sex position that’s quieter than what you usually do.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Positions like spooning are a lot less noisy.\", \"描述\": \"Experts also agree that 69-ing is a great, quiet way to have sex. You could also get intimate standing up, which is a lot less noisy than doing it in your bed.\\nTry not to have stand-up sex near walls bordering your neighbors, children, or houseguests.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Pick out quiet toys.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Silent sex toys are great for both sex and masturbation.\", \"描述\": \"Shop online for highly-rated, silent toys and wands. These quiet toys can provide lots of pleasure without any loud, noticeable vibrations.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Muffle some of the extra noise your bed makes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Believe it or not, old socks can make your bed less squeaky.\", \"描述\": \"Slide the mattress off your bed, revealing the mattress slats. Place old socks on top of these slats, and slide your mattress back on top. These socks will act as a cushion between your mattress and bed frame.\\nYou might prefer switching to a quieter, springless mattress, which won’t make as much noise when you’re intimate.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Turn your intimacy into a fun game with your partner. In this “game,” challenge your partner to see who can be the quietest during sex.[21]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Touching and teasing might be a little less noisy than what you usually do.[22]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\nMutual masturbation is another great way to keep things quiet.[23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,079 | How to Be Quietly Confident | 1. Displaying Confident Body Language
1-1. Keep your chin up and shoulders back.
Nervous or insecure people often walk around with their chins pointed down and their eyes trained on the floor. Show confidence by lifting your chin as if there was an invisible thread pulling your head up.
Keeping your chin level helps with posture as a whole. Sometimes, when you are uncertain you might slouch or cower. Thinking about an invisible thread going from the crown of your head down through your spine can help you pull your shoulders back, too.
1-2. Plant your feet hip-width apart.
If you’re standing, balance your weight evenly between your legs. Stand up straight with your feet hip-width apart. Avoid tapping your feet or turning your body away from those you are speaking to. You can relax your arms at your sides, or do a “power pose” by placing them on your hips.
1-3. Sit relaxed in your seat.
If you’re seated, show confidence sitting with a relaxed posture. Lean back slightly in your chair while still turning towards the other person(s). You might even “power pose” by clasping your hands behind your head in a “V” shape.
Another option is to simply place your hands in your lap if you’re not seated behind a table. If you are, place them lightly on the table in front of you. Don’t cross your arms.
1-4. Make eye contact.
When you greet others or are making conversation, don’t avoid their eyes. Anxious or unsure people may feel intimidated by eye contact, but a quietly confident person knows that strong eye contact helps you come off as secure and in control.
This doesn’t mean staring someone down. You can casually look off at times. But, try to maintain eye contact, particularly during one-on-one conversations.
If making direct eye contact feels weird for you, try glancing at the person’s nose for a few seconds, then their mouth, then their entire face. They won’t be able to tell that you’re not looking at their eyes.
1-5. Pause and breathe deeply.
When you are feeling short on confidence, it's easy to get all wound up. If this starts to happen, just take a brief moment to breathe deeply and collect yourself.
Inhale deeply from your nose for a count of four. Then, hold the breath for a few counts. Exhale from your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat the cycle until you start to feel calm again.
2. Practicing Assertiveness
2-1. Know your value.
Self-centered people may display their confidence by dominating conversations and bragging about their talents. Deep down, they do this because they are seeking validation. A quietly confident person understands what they bring to the table. Therefore, you won’t need to openly seek the validation of others through your external accomplishments. Those that have the least to prove are usually the most confident.
Believe in your self-worth. If you have trouble with this, it can help to make an ongoing list of some of the major challenges you have overcome and the milestones you have passed. Reflect on the list often to remind yourself of your value.
2-2. Express your needs.
When you know your value, you have no problem letting others know what you need from them. Passive people may expect people to read their minds, or guess at their needs. Quiet confidence means having the self-assurance to meet people halfway and communicate your needs to them.
Tell people what you need in a respectful, clear, and honest manner. For instance, you might tell a friend, “I am worried I might lose my job, so I really need to cut back on extra spending” rather than snapping at her because she wants to go shopping.
2-3. Say “no.”
Passive-aggressive people may say “yes” to requests and then resent the person for asking. A quietly confident person is okay with saying “no” when a request doesn’t serve them. Start small and practice saying “no” with the people in your life.
For example, your coworker tries to shove his extra work off on you for the second week in a row. You might say, “No, Patrick. I can’t take your work. I was happy to help last week, but I don’t have the time to do your work and mine.”
2-4. Accept compliments instead of denying them.
Many self-conscious people don’t know how to respond to compliments or feel uncomfortable or awkward when they’re given. Show assertiveness by accepting them kindly and fully. This is a technique known as “positive inquiry.”
For example, if someone says, “This meal you made is delicious!” try saying “Thanks! I’m glad you like it. I’m enjoying it too,” instead of saying, “It’s an easy recipe,” or “It’s alright.”
2-5. Repeatedly say what you want to show calm persistence.
This is called “the stuck record technique,” and can be used in heated arguments to keep the conversation on track. Clearly, calmly state what you want, and say it again and again calmly without giving up to display assertiveness.For example, if your new shoe broke and you went back to the store to return the pair, you might say, “I bought these shoes last week and the strap broke yesterday. I’d like a refund, please.” Then, if the store’s employee says something like, “These have obviously been worn a lot. You can’t expect me to give you your money back,” stay calm and say, “The strap has broken after only one week. I’d like a refund.”
3. Interacting with Others
3-1. Listen actively
Being loud, flashy, and talking all the time, sends a “look at me” message. However, quietly confident people realize that you gain much more respect (and learn more, too) by listening more than you talk.
Try to truly understand the other person’s message. Don’t interrupt them. Once they’re finished, try to paraphrase what they said to make sure you properly understood.
3-2. Praise others rather than yourself.
Some people act as if it’s physically painful to highlight others’ successes. In truth, when you are able to celebrate others, it shows that you can share the spotlight, and that you are a team player. Make an effort to call out someone else for an accomplishment when the situation arises.
3-3. Own up to your mistakes.
An insecure person might hope the ground swallows them after a mistake. They may simply search for an out. Meanwhile, an arrogant person may find a way to hand the blame off onto someone else. Confident people do not make excuses when they made a mistake. They accept it, correct it, learn from it, and move on. It can be hard to admit “I was wrong.” But doing so shows others that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions.
As soon as you realize you made an error, take ownership. For example, the client is late for the meeting because you forgot to schedule their car service. Say, “Oh, goodness. This is my fault. I forgot to call a car. I’ll fix this right away.”
3-4. Accept advice and mentorship from others.
Quietly confident people are genuine, honest with themselves, and honest with others. They aren’t afraid to admit that they don’t have all the answers. Everyone has areas in which they can improve. Don’t be shy about owning up to yours and asking for help.
Be sure to admit it if you do not know something and to let others know that you will try to find the answer.
You might say, “I must have forgotten that aspect of our training. Do you mind offering me a refresher course?” Or, “Helen, you really have a handle on presentations. Can you give me some pointers?”
3-5. Stop gossiping.
One way to appear low in confidence is by constantly gossiping about others. A quietly confident person knows their own value, so they don’t get off by putting others down. Stop hanging with people who gossip. Learn how to redirect conversations when they're headed for gossip town.
For example, you might say, “Enough about that, what did you guys do this past weekend” to change a conversation when gossiping is taking place.
Tips
While attempting to display confident body language may make you appear confident to others, it won’t necessarily make you confident. Work on feeling confident, and then the body language should come naturally.
Focus especially on being more assertive if you struggle with controlling your anger and stress. Practicing assertiveness can improve you ability to control these thing in addition to improving your sense of confidence.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Displaying Confident Body Language\\n1-1. Keep your chin up and shoulders back.\\nNervous or insecure people often walk around with their chins pointed down and their eyes trained on the floor. Show confidence by lifting your chin as if there was an invisible thread pulling your head up.\\nKeeping your chin level helps with posture as a whole. Sometimes, when you are uncertain you might slouch or cower. Thinking about an invisible thread going from the crown of your head down through your spine can help you pull your shoulders back, too.\\n1-2. Plant your feet hip-width apart.\\nIf you’re standing, balance your weight evenly between your legs. Stand up straight with your feet hip-width apart. Avoid tapping your feet or turning your body away from those you are speaking to. You can relax your arms at your sides, or do a “power pose” by placing them on your hips.\\n1-3. Sit relaxed in your seat.\\nIf you’re seated, show confidence sitting with a relaxed posture. Lean back slightly in your chair while still turning towards the other person(s). You might even “power pose” by clasping your hands behind your head in a “V” shape. \\nAnother option is to simply place your hands in your lap if you’re not seated behind a table. If you are, place them lightly on the table in front of you. Don’t cross your arms.\\n1-4. Make eye contact.\\nWhen you greet others or are making conversation, don’t avoid their eyes. Anxious or unsure people may feel intimidated by eye contact, but a quietly confident person knows that strong eye contact helps you come off as secure and in control.\\nThis doesn’t mean staring someone down. You can casually look off at times. But, try to maintain eye contact, particularly during one-on-one conversations.\\nIf making direct eye contact feels weird for you, try glancing at the person’s nose for a few seconds, then their mouth, then their entire face. They won’t be able to tell that you’re not looking at their eyes.\\n1-5. Pause and breathe deeply.\\nWhen you are feeling short on confidence, it's easy to get all wound up. If this starts to happen, just take a brief moment to breathe deeply and collect yourself.\\nInhale deeply from your nose for a count of four. Then, hold the breath for a few counts. Exhale from your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat the cycle until you start to feel calm again.\\n2. Practicing Assertiveness\\n2-1. Know your value.\\nSelf-centered people may display their confidence by dominating conversations and bragging about their talents. Deep down, they do this because they are seeking validation. A quietly confident person understands what they bring to the table. Therefore, you won’t need to openly seek the validation of others through your external accomplishments. Those that have the least to prove are usually the most confident.\\nBelieve in your self-worth. If you have trouble with this, it can help to make an ongoing list of some of the major challenges you have overcome and the milestones you have passed. Reflect on the list often to remind yourself of your value.\\n2-2. Express your needs.\\nWhen you know your value, you have no problem letting others know what you need from them. Passive people may expect people to read their minds, or guess at their needs. Quiet confidence means having the self-assurance to meet people halfway and communicate your needs to them.\\nTell people what you need in a respectful, clear, and honest manner. For instance, you might tell a friend, “I am worried I might lose my job, so I really need to cut back on extra spending” rather than snapping at her because she wants to go shopping.\\n2-3. Say “no.”\\nPassive-aggressive people may say “yes” to requests and then resent the person for asking. A quietly confident person is okay with saying “no” when a request doesn’t serve them. Start small and practice saying “no” with the people in your life.\\nFor example, your coworker tries to shove his extra work off on you for the second week in a row. You might say, “No, Patrick. I can’t take your work. I was happy to help last week, but I don’t have the time to do your work and mine.”\\n2-4. Accept compliments instead of denying them.\\nMany self-conscious people don’t know how to respond to compliments or feel uncomfortable or awkward when they’re given. Show assertiveness by accepting them kindly and fully. This is a technique known as “positive inquiry.”\\nFor example, if someone says, “This meal you made is delicious!” try saying “Thanks! I’m glad you like it. I’m enjoying it too,” instead of saying, “It’s an easy recipe,” or “It’s alright.”\\n2-5. Repeatedly say what you want to show calm persistence.\\nThis is called “the stuck record technique,” and can be used in heated arguments to keep the conversation on track. Clearly, calmly state what you want, and say it again and again calmly without giving up to display assertiveness.For example, if your new shoe broke and you went back to the store to return the pair, you might say, “I bought these shoes last week and the strap broke yesterday. I’d like a refund, please.” Then, if the store’s employee says something like, “These have obviously been worn a lot. You can’t expect me to give you your money back,” stay calm and say, “The strap has broken after only one week. I’d like a refund.”\\n3. Interacting with Others\\n3-1. Listen actively\\nBeing loud, flashy, and talking all the time, sends a “look at me” message. However, quietly confident people realize that you gain much more respect (and learn more, too) by listening more than you talk.\\nTry to truly understand the other person’s message. Don’t interrupt them. Once they’re finished, try to paraphrase what they said to make sure you properly understood.\\n3-2. Praise others rather than yourself.\\nSome people act as if it’s physically painful to highlight others’ successes. In truth, when you are able to celebrate others, it shows that you can share the spotlight, and that you are a team player. Make an effort to call out someone else for an accomplishment when the situation arises.\\n3-3. Own up to your mistakes.\\nAn insecure person might hope the ground swallows them after a mistake. They may simply search for an out. Meanwhile, an arrogant person may find a way to hand the blame off onto someone else. Confident people do not make excuses when they made a mistake. They accept it, correct it, learn from it, and move on. It can be hard to admit “I was wrong.” But doing so shows others that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions. \\nAs soon as you realize you made an error, take ownership. For example, the client is late for the meeting because you forgot to schedule their car service. Say, “Oh, goodness. This is my fault. I forgot to call a car. I’ll fix this right away.”\\n3-4. Accept advice and mentorship from others.\\nQuietly confident people are genuine, honest with themselves, and honest with others. They aren’t afraid to admit that they don’t have all the answers. Everyone has areas in which they can improve. Don’t be shy about owning up to yours and asking for help.\\nBe sure to admit it if you do not know something and to let others know that you will try to find the answer.\\nYou might say, “I must have forgotten that aspect of our training. Do you mind offering me a refresher course?” Or, “Helen, you really have a handle on presentations. Can you give me some pointers?”\\n3-5. Stop gossiping.\\nOne way to appear low in confidence is by constantly gossiping about others. A quietly confident person knows their own value, so they don’t get off by putting others down. Stop hanging with people who gossip. Learn how to redirect conversations when they're headed for gossip town.\\nFor example, you might say, “Enough about that, what did you guys do this past weekend” to change a conversation when gossiping is taking place.\\nTips\\nWhile attempting to display confident body language may make you appear confident to others, it won’t necessarily make you confident. Work on feeling confident, and then the body language should come naturally.\\nFocus especially on being more assertive if you struggle with controlling your anger and stress. Practicing assertiveness can improve you ability to control these thing in addition to improving your sense of confidence.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Quiet and confidence aren’t typically associated with one another. When you think of the word ‘confident,’ you might imagine someone who is outgoing, the center of attention. But, you don’t have to talk constantly to prove your confidence. You can convey even greater self-assurance by displaying the right body language, practicing assertiveness, and being humble in your interactions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Displaying Confident Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your chin up and shoulders back.\", \"描述\": \"Nervous or insecure people often walk around with their chins pointed down and their eyes trained on the floor. Show confidence by lifting your chin as if there was an invisible thread pulling your head up.\\nKeeping your chin level helps with posture as a whole. Sometimes, when you are uncertain you might slouch or cower. Thinking about an invisible thread going from the crown of your head down through your spine can help you pull your shoulders back, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plant your feet hip-width apart.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re standing, balance your weight evenly between your legs. Stand up straight with your feet hip-width apart. Avoid tapping your feet or turning your body away from those you are speaking to. You can relax your arms at your sides, or do a “power pose” by placing them on your hips.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sit relaxed in your seat.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re seated, show confidence sitting with a relaxed posture. Lean back slightly in your chair while still turning towards the other person(s). You might even “power pose” by clasping your hands behind your head in a “V” shape. \\nAnother option is to simply place your hands in your lap if you’re not seated behind a table. If you are, place them lightly on the table in front of you. Don’t cross your arms.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"When you greet others or are making conversation, don’t avoid their eyes. Anxious or unsure people may feel intimidated by eye contact, but a quietly confident person knows that strong eye contact helps you come off as secure and in control.\\nThis doesn’t mean staring someone down. You can casually look off at times. But, try to maintain eye contact, particularly during one-on-one conversations.\\nIf making direct eye contact feels weird for you, try glancing at the person’s nose for a few seconds, then their mouth, then their entire face. They won’t be able to tell that you’re not looking at their eyes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pause and breathe deeply.\", \"描述\": \"When you are feeling short on confidence, it's easy to get all wound up. If this starts to happen, just take a brief moment to breathe deeply and collect yourself.\\nInhale deeply from your nose for a count of four. Then, hold the breath for a few counts. Exhale from your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat the cycle until you start to feel calm again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Assertiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know your value.\", \"描述\": \"Self-centered people may display their confidence by dominating conversations and bragging about their talents. Deep down, they do this because they are seeking validation. A quietly confident person understands what they bring to the table. Therefore, you won’t need to openly seek the validation of others through your external accomplishments. Those that have the least to prove are usually the most confident.\\nBelieve in your self-worth. If you have trouble with this, it can help to make an ongoing list of some of the major challenges you have overcome and the milestones you have passed. Reflect on the list often to remind yourself of your value.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express your needs.\", \"描述\": \"When you know your value, you have no problem letting others know what you need from them. Passive people may expect people to read their minds, or guess at their needs. Quiet confidence means having the self-assurance to meet people halfway and communicate your needs to them.\\nTell people what you need in a respectful, clear, and honest manner. For instance, you might tell a friend, “I am worried I might lose my job, so I really need to cut back on extra spending” rather than snapping at her because she wants to go shopping.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “no.”\", \"描述\": \"Passive-aggressive people may say “yes” to requests and then resent the person for asking. A quietly confident person is okay with saying “no” when a request doesn’t serve them. Start small and practice saying “no” with the people in your life.\\nFor example, your coworker tries to shove his extra work off on you for the second week in a row. You might say, “No, Patrick. I can’t take your work. I was happy to help last week, but I don’t have the time to do your work and mine.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept compliments instead of denying them.\", \"描述\": \"Many self-conscious people don’t know how to respond to compliments or feel uncomfortable or awkward when they’re given. Show assertiveness by accepting them kindly and fully. This is a technique known as “positive inquiry.”\\nFor example, if someone says, “This meal you made is delicious!” try saying “Thanks! I’m glad you like it. I’m enjoying it too,” instead of saying, “It’s an easy recipe,” or “It’s alright.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Repeatedly say what you want to show calm persistence.\", \"描述\": \"This is called “the stuck record technique,” and can be used in heated arguments to keep the conversation on track. Clearly, calmly state what you want, and say it again and again calmly without giving up to display assertiveness.For example, if your new shoe broke and you went back to the store to return the pair, you might say, “I bought these shoes last week and the strap broke yesterday. I’d like a refund, please.” Then, if the store’s employee says something like, “These have obviously been worn a lot. You can’t expect me to give you your money back,” stay calm and say, “The strap has broken after only one week. I’d like a refund.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interacting with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen actively\", \"描述\": \"Being loud, flashy, and talking all the time, sends a “look at me” message. However, quietly confident people realize that you gain much more respect (and learn more, too) by listening more than you talk.\\nTry to truly understand the other person’s message. Don’t interrupt them. Once they’re finished, try to paraphrase what they said to make sure you properly understood.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Praise others rather than yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Some people act as if it’s physically painful to highlight others’ successes. In truth, when you are able to celebrate others, it shows that you can share the spotlight, and that you are a team player. Make an effort to call out someone else for an accomplishment when the situation arises.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Own up to your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"An insecure person might hope the ground swallows them after a mistake. They may simply search for an out. Meanwhile, an arrogant person may find a way to hand the blame off onto someone else. Confident people do not make excuses when they made a mistake. They accept it, correct it, learn from it, and move on. It can be hard to admit “I was wrong.” But doing so shows others that you are willing to take responsibility for your actions. \\nAs soon as you realize you made an error, take ownership. For example, the client is late for the meeting because you forgot to schedule their car service. Say, “Oh, goodness. This is my fault. I forgot to call a car. I’ll fix this right away.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept advice and mentorship from others.\", \"描述\": \"Quietly confident people are genuine, honest with themselves, and honest with others. They aren’t afraid to admit that they don’t have all the answers. Everyone has areas in which they can improve. Don’t be shy about owning up to yours and asking for help.\\nBe sure to admit it if you do not know something and to let others know that you will try to find the answer.\\nYou might say, “I must have forgotten that aspect of our training. Do you mind offering me a refresher course?” Or, “Helen, you really have a handle on presentations. Can you give me some pointers?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stop gossiping.\", \"描述\": \"One way to appear low in confidence is by constantly gossiping about others. A quietly confident person knows their own value, so they don’t get off by putting others down. Stop hanging with people who gossip. Learn how to redirect conversations when they're headed for gossip town.\\nFor example, you might say, “Enough about that, what did you guys do this past weekend” to change a conversation when gossiping is taking place.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"While attempting to display confident body language may make you appear confident to others, it won’t necessarily make you confident. Work on feeling confident, and then the body language should come naturally.\\n\", \"Focus especially on being more assertive if you struggle with controlling your anger and stress. Practicing assertiveness can improve you ability to control these thing in addition to improving your sense of confidence.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,080 | How to Be Quirky | 1. Having a Quirky Frame of Mind
1-1. Think creatively to solve problems or complete tasks.
Think of outside-the-box solutions for problems that you encounter. Try to see all aspects of a situation so that you can come up with solutions that no one has thought of before. Don't rest your opinions on old assumptions. Go against common trends and let your mind wander to unexpected places.
Meditate on ideas before you form an opinion or solution.
You can keep a dream diary to give you more creative ideas.
1-2. Develop interests in unique and obscure things.
Whether it's a style of art or a brand of tea, quirky people are often engrossed in obscure niches. Look online for things that have a small cult following and do research on them. Engross yourself in hobbies and subjects that many people are unaware of.
Unique hobbies could include beekeeping, quilting, or doll collecting.
1-3. Be passionate about a few key causes.
Most quirky people will be deeply invested in important causes like environmental justice, civil rights, or women's rights. Some quirky people will find even more obscure issues to educate people on. Find an issue that's important to you and let everyone around you know how passionate you are about it.
Obscure issues might include saving a rare species of plant in the Amazon or demanding the return of your favorite actor in a sci-fi show.
1-4. Don't act fake for the sake of being quirky.
If you’re always trying to come off quirky at any cost, people may find you to be disingenuous. Most quirky people will act and dress how they want, regardless of what other people think. Do things that you truly like and wear clothes that make you feel comfortable. Don't do things just so that you can appear more quirky.
1-5. Maintain a positive attitude.
Quirky people are often described as happy and energetic. Don’t be negative or judgmental. Try to maintain a positive attitude and always look at the upside of a situation rather than the downside.
For example, if you miss your train for a vacation you can say something like "Well, at least it's nice outside! We can always catch the next one."
2. Doing Quirky Things
2-1. Have conversations about random topics.
Don't hold back your thoughts when you're talking to other people, even if your thoughts may seem strange to other people. Try to look at all the aspects of a conversation and run with the first thing that comes into your head, even if it seems random or weird.
For instance, you can have a conversation about the beauty of peach trees or the possibility that aliens may have invented the pyramids.
2-2. Don't follow the crowd.
Quirky people don’t follow norms and will do things that other people don’t even think of. Don't follow trends or pretend to like clothing, musicians, or movies just because they are new and everyone else likes them. At the same time, you shouldn't hate things just because they are popular. Listen to music and watch movies that you genuinely like!
For instance, if everyone is raving about a new album that you don't like, don't pretend that you like it just to fit in.
2-3. Act as whimsical and adorable as possible.
Even though you might act strange, you shouldn’t come across as offensive or rude. Quirkiness is about being endearingly weird, not creepy or mean. Try to seem innocent and oblivious to the world around you. You can stare off into space, daydream, or act oblivious to social cues.
2-4. Do the unexpected.
Quirky people don't follow the norms set by society. Approach situations and problems in a way that's perceived as "strange" or "weird" to other people. If someone asks you why you did something out of the ordinary, act like it's totally normal.
For instance, you can skip instead of walking, or you could hum even if there are people around you.
2-5. Create unique art.
Take photos, paint pictures, write poetry, or play a musical instrument. Try out different types of art and determine which ones you like to do most. Once you get used to a certain medium, don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and do things that other people haven't tried.
Popular instruments among quirky people include the guitar, bass, and ukulele.
3. Dressing Quirky
3-1. Wear breezy and quaint clothes.
Quirky people are seen as cute and innocent rather than sexy. Avoid low cut dresses or things that show too much skin. Follow niche fashion trends and avoid wearing overly formal dresses or suits.
You can wear flowy sundresses or longer skirts.
Things like scarves, cropped pants, and sweaters can also make you look quirky.
3-2. Wear loud and colorful prints and designs.
Stand out when it comes to the things that you wear. Wear clothes that have polka-dots, animal print, or bright floral colors. Find things to wear that aren’t trendy. The goal is to wear clothes that make you look interesting and different.
Quirky colors include bright green, teal, pink, yellow, and purple. Mix different pieces to suit your personality.
You can go to a thrift store to find clothes.
3-3. Wear unusual and artistic accessories.
Make sure that your accessories match the quirky feeling of your clothing. Find handbags, jewelry, and shoes that are also loud and unusual.
Quirky accessories could include a brightly colored handbag, uniquely shaped sunglasses, or jewelry in the shape of cats or rainbows.
You can also wear an uncommonly worn hat like a fedora or beret.
3-4. Dress in things that make you happy.
Don’t put yourself in a box when it comes to fashion. Choose clothes that you genuinely like, feel comfortable, and make you happy. Let go of being self-conscious when it comes to your clothing.
3-5. Dye your hair or have an alternative hairstyle.
To really stand out, dye your hair an unnatural color like purple or green. You could even add some streaks. This will give you a different look and will tell people that you’re not afraid to push boundaries and be yourself. If dying your hair isn't your thing, you can shave the sides of your head, cut your hair short, or rock bangs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having a Quirky Frame of Mind\\n1-1. Think creatively to solve problems or complete tasks.\\nThink of outside-the-box solutions for problems that you encounter. Try to see all aspects of a situation so that you can come up with solutions that no one has thought of before. Don't rest your opinions on old assumptions. Go against common trends and let your mind wander to unexpected places.\\nMeditate on ideas before you form an opinion or solution.\\nYou can keep a dream diary to give you more creative ideas.\\n1-2. Develop interests in unique and obscure things.\\nWhether it's a style of art or a brand of tea, quirky people are often engrossed in obscure niches. Look online for things that have a small cult following and do research on them. Engross yourself in hobbies and subjects that many people are unaware of.\\nUnique hobbies could include beekeeping, quilting, or doll collecting.\\n1-3. Be passionate about a few key causes.\\nMost quirky people will be deeply invested in important causes like environmental justice, civil rights, or women's rights. Some quirky people will find even more obscure issues to educate people on. Find an issue that's important to you and let everyone around you know how passionate you are about it.\\nObscure issues might include saving a rare species of plant in the Amazon or demanding the return of your favorite actor in a sci-fi show.\\n1-4. Don't act fake for the sake of being quirky.\\nIf you’re always trying to come off quirky at any cost, people may find you to be disingenuous. Most quirky people will act and dress how they want, regardless of what other people think. Do things that you truly like and wear clothes that make you feel comfortable. Don't do things just so that you can appear more quirky.\\n1-5. Maintain a positive attitude.\\nQuirky people are often described as happy and energetic. Don’t be negative or judgmental. Try to maintain a positive attitude and always look at the upside of a situation rather than the downside. \\nFor example, if you miss your train for a vacation you can say something like \\\"Well, at least it's nice outside! We can always catch the next one.\\\"\\n2. Doing Quirky Things\\n2-1. Have conversations about random topics.\\nDon't hold back your thoughts when you're talking to other people, even if your thoughts may seem strange to other people. Try to look at all the aspects of a conversation and run with the first thing that comes into your head, even if it seems random or weird. \\nFor instance, you can have a conversation about the beauty of peach trees or the possibility that aliens may have invented the pyramids.\\n2-2. Don't follow the crowd.\\nQuirky people don’t follow norms and will do things that other people don’t even think of. Don't follow trends or pretend to like clothing, musicians, or movies just because they are new and everyone else likes them. At the same time, you shouldn't hate things just because they are popular. Listen to music and watch movies that you genuinely like!\\nFor instance, if everyone is raving about a new album that you don't like, don't pretend that you like it just to fit in.\\n2-3. Act as whimsical and adorable as possible.\\nEven though you might act strange, you shouldn’t come across as offensive or rude. Quirkiness is about being endearingly weird, not creepy or mean. Try to seem innocent and oblivious to the world around you. You can stare off into space, daydream, or act oblivious to social cues.\\n2-4. Do the unexpected.\\nQuirky people don't follow the norms set by society. Approach situations and problems in a way that's perceived as \\\"strange\\\" or \\\"weird\\\" to other people. If someone asks you why you did something out of the ordinary, act like it's totally normal.\\nFor instance, you can skip instead of walking, or you could hum even if there are people around you.\\n2-5. Create unique art.\\nTake photos, paint pictures, write poetry, or play a musical instrument. Try out different types of art and determine which ones you like to do most. Once you get used to a certain medium, don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and do things that other people haven't tried.\\nPopular instruments among quirky people include the guitar, bass, and ukulele.\\n3. Dressing Quirky\\n3-1. Wear breezy and quaint clothes.\\nQuirky people are seen as cute and innocent rather than sexy. Avoid low cut dresses or things that show too much skin. Follow niche fashion trends and avoid wearing overly formal dresses or suits.\\nYou can wear flowy sundresses or longer skirts.\\nThings like scarves, cropped pants, and sweaters can also make you look quirky.\\n3-2. Wear loud and colorful prints and designs.\\nStand out when it comes to the things that you wear. Wear clothes that have polka-dots, animal print, or bright floral colors. Find things to wear that aren’t trendy. The goal is to wear clothes that make you look interesting and different.\\nQuirky colors include bright green, teal, pink, yellow, and purple. Mix different pieces to suit your personality.\\nYou can go to a thrift store to find clothes.\\n3-3. Wear unusual and artistic accessories.\\nMake sure that your accessories match the quirky feeling of your clothing. Find handbags, jewelry, and shoes that are also loud and unusual.\\nQuirky accessories could include a brightly colored handbag, uniquely shaped sunglasses, or jewelry in the shape of cats or rainbows.\\nYou can also wear an uncommonly worn hat like a fedora or beret.\\n3-4. Dress in things that make you happy.\\nDon’t put yourself in a box when it comes to fashion. Choose clothes that you genuinely like, feel comfortable, and make you happy. Let go of being self-conscious when it comes to your clothing.\\n3-5. Dye your hair or have an alternative hairstyle.\\nTo really stand out, dye your hair an unnatural color like purple or green. You could even add some streaks. This will give you a different look and will tell people that you’re not afraid to push boundaries and be yourself. If dying your hair isn't your thing, you can shave the sides of your head, cut your hair short, or rock bangs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Quirky people are described as being unusual in a likable and endearing way. To give off a more quirky vibe, you may need to change the way you think, dress, and act. The main thing to keep in mind is to always be yourself and to enjoy things that you genuinely like, even if they're not well understood. If you embrace the things that make you different and start thinking more creatively, you can be quirky!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having a Quirky Frame of Mind\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think creatively to solve problems or complete tasks.\", \"描述\": \"Think of outside-the-box solutions for problems that you encounter. Try to see all aspects of a situation so that you can come up with solutions that no one has thought of before. Don't rest your opinions on old assumptions. Go against common trends and let your mind wander to unexpected places.\\nMeditate on ideas before you form an opinion or solution.\\nYou can keep a dream diary to give you more creative ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Develop interests in unique and obscure things.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's a style of art or a brand of tea, quirky people are often engrossed in obscure niches. Look online for things that have a small cult following and do research on them. Engross yourself in hobbies and subjects that many people are unaware of.\\nUnique hobbies could include beekeeping, quilting, or doll collecting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be passionate about a few key causes.\", \"描述\": \"Most quirky people will be deeply invested in important causes like environmental justice, civil rights, or women's rights. Some quirky people will find even more obscure issues to educate people on. Find an issue that's important to you and let everyone around you know how passionate you are about it.\\nObscure issues might include saving a rare species of plant in the Amazon or demanding the return of your favorite actor in a sci-fi show.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't act fake for the sake of being quirky.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re always trying to come off quirky at any cost, people may find you to be disingenuous. Most quirky people will act and dress how they want, regardless of what other people think. Do things that you truly like and wear clothes that make you feel comfortable. Don't do things just so that you can appear more quirky.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Maintain a positive attitude.\", \"描述\": \"Quirky people are often described as happy and energetic. Don’t be negative or judgmental. Try to maintain a positive attitude and always look at the upside of a situation rather than the downside. \\nFor example, if you miss your train for a vacation you can say something like \\\"Well, at least it's nice outside! We can always catch the next one.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doing Quirky Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have conversations about random topics.\", \"描述\": \"Don't hold back your thoughts when you're talking to other people, even if your thoughts may seem strange to other people. Try to look at all the aspects of a conversation and run with the first thing that comes into your head, even if it seems random or weird. \\nFor instance, you can have a conversation about the beauty of peach trees or the possibility that aliens may have invented the pyramids.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't follow the crowd.\", \"描述\": \"Quirky people don’t follow norms and will do things that other people don’t even think of. Don't follow trends or pretend to like clothing, musicians, or movies just because they are new and everyone else likes them. At the same time, you shouldn't hate things just because they are popular. Listen to music and watch movies that you genuinely like!\\nFor instance, if everyone is raving about a new album that you don't like, don't pretend that you like it just to fit in.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Act as whimsical and adorable as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you might act strange, you shouldn’t come across as offensive or rude. Quirkiness is about being endearingly weird, not creepy or mean. Try to seem innocent and oblivious to the world around you. You can stare off into space, daydream, or act oblivious to social cues.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do the unexpected.\", \"描述\": \"Quirky people don't follow the norms set by society. Approach situations and problems in a way that's perceived as \\\"strange\\\" or \\\"weird\\\" to other people. If someone asks you why you did something out of the ordinary, act like it's totally normal.\\nFor instance, you can skip instead of walking, or you could hum even if there are people around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create unique art.\", \"描述\": \"Take photos, paint pictures, write poetry, or play a musical instrument. Try out different types of art and determine which ones you like to do most. Once you get used to a certain medium, don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and do things that other people haven't tried.\\nPopular instruments among quirky people include the guitar, bass, and ukulele.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dressing Quirky\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear breezy and quaint clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Quirky people are seen as cute and innocent rather than sexy. Avoid low cut dresses or things that show too much skin. Follow niche fashion trends and avoid wearing overly formal dresses or suits.\\nYou can wear flowy sundresses or longer skirts.\\nThings like scarves, cropped pants, and sweaters can also make you look quirky.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear loud and colorful prints and designs.\", \"描述\": \"Stand out when it comes to the things that you wear. Wear clothes that have polka-dots, animal print, or bright floral colors. Find things to wear that aren’t trendy. The goal is to wear clothes that make you look interesting and different.\\nQuirky colors include bright green, teal, pink, yellow, and purple. Mix different pieces to suit your personality.\\nYou can go to a thrift store to find clothes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear unusual and artistic accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that your accessories match the quirky feeling of your clothing. Find handbags, jewelry, and shoes that are also loud and unusual.\\nQuirky accessories could include a brightly colored handbag, uniquely shaped sunglasses, or jewelry in the shape of cats or rainbows.\\nYou can also wear an uncommonly worn hat like a fedora or beret.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dress in things that make you happy.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t put yourself in a box when it comes to fashion. Choose clothes that you genuinely like, feel comfortable, and make you happy. Let go of being self-conscious when it comes to your clothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Dye your hair or have an alternative hairstyle.\", \"描述\": \"To really stand out, dye your hair an unnatural color like purple or green. You could even add some streaks. This will give you a different look and will tell people that you’re not afraid to push boundaries and be yourself. If dying your hair isn't your thing, you can shave the sides of your head, cut your hair short, or rock bangs.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,081 | How to Be Random | 1. Speaking Randomly
1-1. Use non sequiturs.
Non sequitur is Latin for "does not follow" and describes a speaker's failure to construct an argument in a logical manner. This phrase has been used since the time of the Caesars. Today, the word "random" is used in basically this way, referring to the use of non sequitur for comedy.
The word "random" really refers to a process or a decision made without a conscious or systematic choice. True randomness is unplanned, making it somewhat difficult to provide a concrete strategy for "being random."
Strictly speaking, a person is not random. A phrase or an action can seem spontaneous or unexpected, but one person is not more or less "random" than another. You can, however, learn to be wacky and spontaneous in the way that people mean when they say "random."
1-2. Be oddly specific with what you are saying.
It will sound more random, or like you've got some kind of head injury. For example, instead of saying, "A few years ago," be more specific and say, "A few years after the year before ten years ago, I was speaking to the brother of my sister's father (uncle)." Take your figures of speech to extremes.
1-3. Learn very specific facts and recite them regularly.
Start thinking of the most obscure, inane, and spectacularly random details under the sun and committing them to memory. The more you've got rattling around in your noggin', the more random you'll be able to be.
Don't use regular colors, like "blue," use "eggshell," or "dioxazine violet." Look through Liquitex paint names for ideas; a favorite of theirs is "hookers green" in your writing and your speech. And yes, those are real colors.
The next time someone asks you to pick a number between one and ten, answer with something like "pi", "e", or "the square root of seven."
1-4. Avoid "wandom" words.
"Wandom" means "wannabe random," and it can be extremely heartbreaking that someone would feel the need to invent this term. This is usually formerly random material that has been overused and is just not random anymore. Strictly speaking, anything that you've used for joke purposes before can only be "random" once.
Wandom words include pickle, chicken, monkey, dino, penguin, purple, pie, squirrel, moo, pizza, mayonnaise, pudding, pants, rawr, socks, pony, llama, unicorn, taco (or burrito), cheese, and nose. Of course, the randomness is fairly culturally specific to North American school culture, so feel free to ignore this step. Use random words as you see them.
1-5. Speak about yourself in the third person.
Third person means replacing "I" with your full name. This is common to the ego-obsessed and many professional wrestlers.
If you want to take it even further, when you're speaking about the group you're in by using random alternative group concepts. Instead of saying "we," say "our company," "our army," "the movement," or "the squad." Keep switching between normal speaking and these methods, and also constantly changing the replacements themselves for maximum efficiency.
1-6. Make random noises.
Things like "mwargh" or "oooooohh" or even "bwah" and "digee" will work divinely. You could also laugh. A lot and randomly. People will know you for it. Sometimes, you can be the person who laughs and makes everyone else join in! Don't try for this, though. You have to kind of be in your own world first.
1-7. Use weird voices.
Try putting on a new accent, or speaking in an abnormally high, low, or loud voice. You can experiment a lot with this. Try seeing how far you can push your voice!
2. Acting Randomly
2-1. Dress in unusual clothing combinations.
Put on a very normal outfit, like jeans and T-shirt, but add something ridiculous. Like a big gorilla mask. Of course, you could also go with strange clothing all the way. You might want to invest in things like suspenders, top hats, parasols, glitter vests, canes, ribbons, army boots, hippie or (real) vintage things, neon things, glowsticks, or rainbow suspenders.
The trick is to have basic staples: plain T-shirts in varying colors and a couple pairs of blue jeans, maybe in gray, paired with freaky accessories.
2-2. Form unusual obsessions.
Pick a certain state, food, person, or animal. Make them very public and insane. Maybe you could be obsessed with the Hindenberg disaster, labradoodles, or the actor Charles Nelson Riley. Learn as much as possible about unusual and specific historical trivia and bring it up more or less at random. Pick something you're genuinely interested to make it worth your while.
2-3. Make plans and change them mid-way.
Just because you're buying a new coat doesn't mean you can't go to the zoo on the way there. Plans should be broken if you think of a more exciting plan. Always let spontaneity trump whatever it is you thought was more important.
2-4. Listen.
Secret to random success? Listening closely to the conversation and responding with something that'll come across as off-the-wall at an appropriate moment. It's not appropriate to interject a "random" gag when your girlfriend is trying to tell you about how she feels, or when your parents are scolding you about not cleaning your room. Listen to what other people say to find a good in. Then jump.
Good times for a "random" joke? When a conversation dies. You're in a group and everyone's being boring, talking about the same old, same old? Tell them all about Star Trek: The Next Generation, a show that ended like decades ago.
2-5. Add a title to your name.
Why be your regular old self? Only refer to yourself as "Lord Steven" or "Captain Theresa." Better yet, invent your own. If you use an adjective, make sure it doesn't usually apply to people in normal circumstances. If You use a noun, make it an uncommon one, or one in another language. Examples include John Doe the inhospitable, Dr. Doe, John Doe of Topeka, and John el Fuego.
3. Thinking Randomly
3-1. Study the masters.
So-called random humor isn't the invention of the 13 year olds at your school, despite what they'll have you believe. If you want to brush up on wacky, off-the-wall, "random" styles of humor, explore the following unusual sources to get your fix:
Ultimate Warrior's pro wrestling promos.
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Family Guy
Zach Galifianakis' stand-up routine
Dada
Julius Caesar
3-2. Try to lose your inhibitions.
Many people think of very random things through the day, but never act on them because they're too afraid of being embarrassed or seen as weird. Want to run at pigeons in the middle of a conversation? Suddenly feel like running doing a slope screaming "Wheeee!"? Get the urge to pick roadside daffodils and walk off with a bouquet of them while you're going somewhere? Surrender to your whims.
3-3. Break free of conventional rules.
Finishing your sentences clearly? Holding the same opinion from hour to hour? What for? If you decide you want to buy rubber ducks whilst talking about something important — don't be afraid to end the conversation and do it! Decorum means nothing to the total random. If you're at a college library and suddenly, you just want to find Waldo, go to the desk and ask for Where's Waldo. They probably won't have it, but hey, at least you tried.
Tips
Random people used to be called "surrealists."[5]
X
Research source
Research these interesting people and feel free to steal their ideas.
If you want to be random, just remember to not care if other people think you're weird. If you want to scream "TRASH CAN!" in the middle of a crowded mall and run towards it, do it! Just try not to be obnoxious.
Try to exaggerate a gazillion times a day.
Warnings
While this can be a fun thing to try among friends, use it sparingly around adults and strangers. It will seem disrespectful.
You don't have to change your personality to be random. People may see you as being strange if you follow these steps, as many people don't go to these extremes to be random.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Speaking Randomly\\n1-1. Use non sequiturs.\\nNon sequitur is Latin for \\\"does not follow\\\" and describes a speaker's failure to construct an argument in a logical manner. This phrase has been used since the time of the Caesars. Today, the word \\\"random\\\" is used in basically this way, referring to the use of non sequitur for comedy.\\nThe word \\\"random\\\" really refers to a process or a decision made without a conscious or systematic choice. True randomness is unplanned, making it somewhat difficult to provide a concrete strategy for \\\"being random.\\\"\\nStrictly speaking, a person is not random. A phrase or an action can seem spontaneous or unexpected, but one person is not more or less \\\"random\\\" than another. You can, however, learn to be wacky and spontaneous in the way that people mean when they say \\\"random.\\\"\\n1-2. Be oddly specific with what you are saying.\\nIt will sound more random, or like you've got some kind of head injury. For example, instead of saying, \\\"A few years ago,\\\" be more specific and say, \\\"A few years after the year before ten years ago, I was speaking to the brother of my sister's father (uncle).\\\" Take your figures of speech to extremes.\\n1-3. Learn very specific facts and recite them regularly.\\nStart thinking of the most obscure, inane, and spectacularly random details under the sun and committing them to memory. The more you've got rattling around in your noggin', the more random you'll be able to be.\\nDon't use regular colors, like \\\"blue,\\\" use \\\"eggshell,\\\" or \\\"dioxazine violet.\\\" Look through Liquitex paint names for ideas; a favorite of theirs is \\\"hookers green\\\" in your writing and your speech. And yes, those are real colors.\\nThe next time someone asks you to pick a number between one and ten, answer with something like \\\"pi\\\", \\\"e\\\", or \\\"the square root of seven.\\\"\\n1-4. Avoid \\\"wandom\\\" words.\\n\\\"Wandom\\\" means \\\"wannabe random,\\\" and it can be extremely heartbreaking that someone would feel the need to invent this term. This is usually formerly random material that has been overused and is just not random anymore. Strictly speaking, anything that you've used for joke purposes before can only be \\\"random\\\" once.\\nWandom words include pickle, chicken, monkey, dino, penguin, purple, pie, squirrel, moo, pizza, mayonnaise, pudding, pants, rawr, socks, pony, llama, unicorn, taco (or burrito), cheese, and nose. Of course, the randomness is fairly culturally specific to North American school culture, so feel free to ignore this step. Use random words as you see them.\\n1-5. Speak about yourself in the third person.\\nThird person means replacing \\\"I\\\" with your full name. This is common to the ego-obsessed and many professional wrestlers.\\nIf you want to take it even further, when you're speaking about the group you're in by using random alternative group concepts. Instead of saying \\\"we,\\\" say \\\"our company,\\\" \\\"our army,\\\" \\\"the movement,\\\" or \\\"the squad.\\\" Keep switching between normal speaking and these methods, and also constantly changing the replacements themselves for maximum efficiency.\\n1-6. Make random noises.\\nThings like \\\"mwargh\\\" or \\\"oooooohh\\\" or even \\\"bwah\\\" and \\\"digee\\\" will work divinely. You could also laugh. A lot and randomly. People will know you for it. Sometimes, you can be the person who laughs and makes everyone else join in! Don't try for this, though. You have to kind of be in your own world first.\\n1-7. Use weird voices.\\nTry putting on a new accent, or speaking in an abnormally high, low, or loud voice. You can experiment a lot with this. Try seeing how far you can push your voice!\\n2. Acting Randomly\\n2-1. Dress in unusual clothing combinations.\\nPut on a very normal outfit, like jeans and T-shirt, but add something ridiculous. Like a big gorilla mask. Of course, you could also go with strange clothing all the way. You might want to invest in things like suspenders, top hats, parasols, glitter vests, canes, ribbons, army boots, hippie or (real) vintage things, neon things, glowsticks, or rainbow suspenders.\\nThe trick is to have basic staples: plain T-shirts in varying colors and a couple pairs of blue jeans, maybe in gray, paired with freaky accessories.\\n2-2. Form unusual obsessions.\\nPick a certain state, food, person, or animal. Make them very public and insane. Maybe you could be obsessed with the Hindenberg disaster, labradoodles, or the actor Charles Nelson Riley. Learn as much as possible about unusual and specific historical trivia and bring it up more or less at random. Pick something you're genuinely interested to make it worth your while.\\n2-3. Make plans and change them mid-way.\\nJust because you're buying a new coat doesn't mean you can't go to the zoo on the way there. Plans should be broken if you think of a more exciting plan. Always let spontaneity trump whatever it is you thought was more important.\\n2-4. Listen.\\nSecret to random success? Listening closely to the conversation and responding with something that'll come across as off-the-wall at an appropriate moment. It's not appropriate to interject a \\\"random\\\" gag when your girlfriend is trying to tell you about how she feels, or when your parents are scolding you about not cleaning your room. Listen to what other people say to find a good in. Then jump.\\nGood times for a \\\"random\\\" joke? When a conversation dies. You're in a group and everyone's being boring, talking about the same old, same old? Tell them all about Star Trek: The Next Generation, a show that ended like decades ago.\\n2-5. Add a title to your name.\\nWhy be your regular old self? Only refer to yourself as \\\"Lord Steven\\\" or \\\"Captain Theresa.\\\" Better yet, invent your own. If you use an adjective, make sure it doesn't usually apply to people in normal circumstances. If You use a noun, make it an uncommon one, or one in another language. Examples include John Doe the inhospitable, Dr. Doe, John Doe of Topeka, and John el Fuego.\\n3. Thinking Randomly\\n3-1. Study the masters.\\nSo-called random humor isn't the invention of the 13 year olds at your school, despite what they'll have you believe. If you want to brush up on wacky, off-the-wall, \\\"random\\\" styles of humor, explore the following unusual sources to get your fix:\\nUltimate Warrior's pro wrestling promos.\\nMonty Python's Flying Circus\\nFamily Guy\\nZach Galifianakis' stand-up routine\\nDada\\nJulius Caesar\\n3-2. Try to lose your inhibitions.\\nMany people think of very random things through the day, but never act on them because they're too afraid of being embarrassed or seen as weird. Want to run at pigeons in the middle of a conversation? Suddenly feel like running doing a slope screaming \\\"Wheeee!\\\"? Get the urge to pick roadside daffodils and walk off with a bouquet of them while you're going somewhere? Surrender to your whims.\\n3-3. Break free of conventional rules.\\nFinishing your sentences clearly? Holding the same opinion from hour to hour? What for? If you decide you want to buy rubber ducks whilst talking about something important — don't be afraid to end the conversation and do it! Decorum means nothing to the total random. If you're at a college library and suddenly, you just want to find Waldo, go to the desk and ask for Where's Waldo. They probably won't have it, but hey, at least you tried.\\nTips\\nRandom people used to be called \\\"surrealists.\\\"[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Research these interesting people and feel free to steal their ideas.\\nIf you want to be random, just remember to not care if other people think you're weird. If you want to scream \\\"TRASH CAN!\\\" in the middle of a crowded mall and run towards it, do it! Just try not to be obnoxious.\\nTry to exaggerate a gazillion times a day.\\nWarnings\\nWhile this can be a fun thing to try among friends, use it sparingly around adults and strangers. It will seem disrespectful.\\nYou don't have to change your personality to be random. People may see you as being strange if you follow these steps, as many people don't go to these extremes to be random.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Randomness–randomosity, randomology, randomism–whatever you may call it, means improvisational humor, creating your own phrases or monologues on the spot. Done properly, it can be a hilarious and juvenile way to perform for your friends. Done poorly, it can be annoying as string cheese in a dust storm. Either way, win. Learn to speak, act, and think randomly with your friends.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speaking Randomly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use non sequiturs.\", \"描述\": \"Non sequitur is Latin for \\\"does not follow\\\" and describes a speaker's failure to construct an argument in a logical manner. This phrase has been used since the time of the Caesars. Today, the word \\\"random\\\" is used in basically this way, referring to the use of non sequitur for comedy.\\nThe word \\\"random\\\" really refers to a process or a decision made without a conscious or systematic choice. True randomness is unplanned, making it somewhat difficult to provide a concrete strategy for \\\"being random.\\\"\\nStrictly speaking, a person is not random. A phrase or an action can seem spontaneous or unexpected, but one person is not more or less \\\"random\\\" than another. You can, however, learn to be wacky and spontaneous in the way that people mean when they say \\\"random.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be oddly specific with what you are saying.\", \"描述\": \"It will sound more random, or like you've got some kind of head injury. For example, instead of saying, \\\"A few years ago,\\\" be more specific and say, \\\"A few years after the year before ten years ago, I was speaking to the brother of my sister's father (uncle).\\\" Take your figures of speech to extremes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn very specific facts and recite them regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Start thinking of the most obscure, inane, and spectacularly random details under the sun and committing them to memory. The more you've got rattling around in your noggin', the more random you'll be able to be.\\nDon't use regular colors, like \\\"blue,\\\" use \\\"eggshell,\\\" or \\\"dioxazine violet.\\\" Look through Liquitex paint names for ideas; a favorite of theirs is \\\"hookers green\\\" in your writing and your speech. And yes, those are real colors.\\nThe next time someone asks you to pick a number between one and ten, answer with something like \\\"pi\\\", \\\"e\\\", or \\\"the square root of seven.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid \\\"wandom\\\" words.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Wandom\\\" means \\\"wannabe random,\\\" and it can be extremely heartbreaking that someone would feel the need to invent this term. This is usually formerly random material that has been overused and is just not random anymore. Strictly speaking, anything that you've used for joke purposes before can only be \\\"random\\\" once.\\nWandom words include pickle, chicken, monkey, dino, penguin, purple, pie, squirrel, moo, pizza, mayonnaise, pudding, pants, rawr, socks, pony, llama, unicorn, taco (or burrito), cheese, and nose. Of course, the randomness is fairly culturally specific to North American school culture, so feel free to ignore this step. Use random words as you see them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Speak about yourself in the third person.\", \"描述\": \"Third person means replacing \\\"I\\\" with your full name. This is common to the ego-obsessed and many professional wrestlers.\\nIf you want to take it even further, when you're speaking about the group you're in by using random alternative group concepts. Instead of saying \\\"we,\\\" say \\\"our company,\\\" \\\"our army,\\\" \\\"the movement,\\\" or \\\"the squad.\\\" Keep switching between normal speaking and these methods, and also constantly changing the replacements themselves for maximum efficiency.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make random noises.\", \"描述\": \"Things like \\\"mwargh\\\" or \\\"oooooohh\\\" or even \\\"bwah\\\" and \\\"digee\\\" will work divinely. You could also laugh. A lot and randomly. People will know you for it. Sometimes, you can be the person who laughs and makes everyone else join in! Don't try for this, though. You have to kind of be in your own world first.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use weird voices.\", \"描述\": \"Try putting on a new accent, or speaking in an abnormally high, low, or loud voice. You can experiment a lot with this. Try seeing how far you can push your voice!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Randomly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress in unusual clothing combinations.\", \"描述\": \"Put on a very normal outfit, like jeans and T-shirt, but add something ridiculous. Like a big gorilla mask. Of course, you could also go with strange clothing all the way. You might want to invest in things like suspenders, top hats, parasols, glitter vests, canes, ribbons, army boots, hippie or (real) vintage things, neon things, glowsticks, or rainbow suspenders.\\nThe trick is to have basic staples: plain T-shirts in varying colors and a couple pairs of blue jeans, maybe in gray, paired with freaky accessories.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Form unusual obsessions.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a certain state, food, person, or animal. Make them very public and insane. Maybe you could be obsessed with the Hindenberg disaster, labradoodles, or the actor Charles Nelson Riley. Learn as much as possible about unusual and specific historical trivia and bring it up more or less at random. Pick something you're genuinely interested to make it worth your while.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make plans and change them mid-way.\", \"描述\": \"Just because you're buying a new coat doesn't mean you can't go to the zoo on the way there. Plans should be broken if you think of a more exciting plan. Always let spontaneity trump whatever it is you thought was more important.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen.\", \"描述\": \"Secret to random success? Listening closely to the conversation and responding with something that'll come across as off-the-wall at an appropriate moment. It's not appropriate to interject a \\\"random\\\" gag when your girlfriend is trying to tell you about how she feels, or when your parents are scolding you about not cleaning your room. Listen to what other people say to find a good in. Then jump.\\nGood times for a \\\"random\\\" joke? When a conversation dies. You're in a group and everyone's being boring, talking about the same old, same old? Tell them all about Star Trek: The Next Generation, a show that ended like decades ago.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Add a title to your name.\", \"描述\": \"Why be your regular old self? Only refer to yourself as \\\"Lord Steven\\\" or \\\"Captain Theresa.\\\" Better yet, invent your own. If you use an adjective, make sure it doesn't usually apply to people in normal circumstances. If You use a noun, make it an uncommon one, or one in another language. Examples include John Doe the inhospitable, Dr. Doe, John Doe of Topeka, and John el Fuego.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Thinking Randomly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Study the masters.\", \"描述\": \"So-called random humor isn't the invention of the 13 year olds at your school, despite what they'll have you believe. If you want to brush up on wacky, off-the-wall, \\\"random\\\" styles of humor, explore the following unusual sources to get your fix:\\nUltimate Warrior's pro wrestling promos.\\nMonty Python's Flying Circus\\nFamily Guy\\nZach Galifianakis' stand-up routine\\nDada\\nJulius Caesar\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to lose your inhibitions.\", \"描述\": \"Many people think of very random things through the day, but never act on them because they're too afraid of being embarrassed or seen as weird. Want to run at pigeons in the middle of a conversation? Suddenly feel like running doing a slope screaming \\\"Wheeee!\\\"? Get the urge to pick roadside daffodils and walk off with a bouquet of them while you're going somewhere? Surrender to your whims.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Break free of conventional rules.\", \"描述\": \"Finishing your sentences clearly? Holding the same opinion from hour to hour? What for? If you decide you want to buy rubber ducks whilst talking about something important — don't be afraid to end the conversation and do it! Decorum means nothing to the total random. If you're at a college library and suddenly, you just want to find Waldo, go to the desk and ask for Where's Waldo. They probably won't have it, but hey, at least you tried.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Random people used to be called \\\"surrealists.\\\"[5]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Research these interesting people and feel free to steal their ideas.\\n\", \"If you want to be random, just remember to not care if other people think you're weird. If you want to scream \\\"TRASH CAN!\\\" in the middle of a crowded mall and run towards it, do it! Just try not to be obnoxious.\\n\", \"Try to exaggerate a gazillion times a day.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"While this can be a fun thing to try among friends, use it sparingly around adults and strangers. It will seem disrespectful.\\n\", \"You don't have to change your personality to be random. People may see you as being strange if you follow these steps, as many people don't go to these extremes to be random.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,082 | How to Be Rare | 1. Have integrity.
Stand out in the crowd by always sticking to your principles.
Whenever you have a chance, show others that your actions line up with your morals. Share the values that define you, then think about behaviors that match your intentions. For example, if you say that you believe in cooperation, find every chance you can to support people. Everyone will be wowed by all your consistency.
: “I believe in helping the needy, so I volunteer at a shelter.”
: “I value honesty, so I’ll give you my unfiltered take here.”
: “I wanted to show I cared, so I donated to the fundraiser.”
2. Stay humble.
Be modest by embracing both strengths and weaknesses.
Tell your friends or peers any areas of growth you're working on, like time management or organization. If people compliment you, thank them, then smile and say that you're working just as hard as everyone else is.
: "Thank you! I really appreciate that. I try my best to present the best research I can, and it definitely takes a lot of work."
: "That's very nice of you to say. While I love to express my creativity, I struggle to focus on boring life stuff...like taxes!"
: "You're too kind! I know that this campaign was a hit because of each and every person here."
3. Remain authentic.
Share what’s in your heart to show you’re genuine.
Speak about your outlooks and be totally truthful. Even when you'll be "different" from the rest of the pack, say exactly what's on your mind. Strike the right balance between honesty and respect when you open up—outline all your opinions and share your perspective. Just be sure to be courteous every time.
: "While a lot of people think it's important to focus on finances, I’d like to chase my artistic passions instead."
: "I think it’s okay to goof off at work sometimes and experiment with different ideas! It helps keep things fresh and creative."
: "I think we should avoid creating any ads that make people insecure. Let's produce positive content instead!"
4. Show kindness.
Express compassion at every moment to uplift everyone.
Pay attention when people ask for help and share how you'd like to pitch in. After you've volunteered and see the positive impact you’ve made on people’s lives, you'll be sure that your actions really mattered.
Support peers and co-workers by sharing tips and resources.
Assist charities, shelters, and non-profits.
Do simple favors for friends and strangers.
Tell your friends they can reach out at any time for help.
5. Prove you’re trustworthy.
Keep secrets and promises to be a great confidante.
Speak highly of others, listen closely to what others have to say, and steer clear of gossip—others come to you when they need to share sensitive info. Because you're so reliable, they'll know you have their best interests at heart.
: “I only want to speak highly of others I work with.”
: “Thank you for sharing. I will keep the details private.”
: “I reported the incident, but I kept your name out of it.”
6. Stay honest.
Be sincere and you’ll definitely confirm that you tell the truth.
Take every opportunity you can to be open and transparent. When you're vulnerable or struggling, let people know. If you can’t show up for an individual, it’s okay to say that. The more you're straightforward even when the situation isn't ideal, the more others will be impressed by your candidness.
: "This is really new to me, and I'm not sure I have the hang of it yet."
: "I would love to attend, but I'm swamped with projects right now!"
: "I'm facing hardships in my family, and it's really impacted me."
7. Demonstrate courage.
Fight for what you believe in to show your bravery.
If you or other people are mistreated, express your boundaries. Even if it’s easier to “keep the peace” and let an unkind remark or action slide, step up and speak up. For example, if someone lashes out—even if they’re tired or stressed—let them know that their behavior isn’t acceptable. Witnesses will notice your assertiveness and be inspired to show bravery, too.
: “I will not respond to name-calling.”
: “I understand you’re having a hard time, but it’s still not okay to say that.”
: “I have to step in here—Jamie doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
8. Prioritize empathy.
Listen to everyone’s experiences to demonstrate that you care.
Make time to listen to other people. Ask about how they’re doing right now and learn about what they've gone through in the past.Then, explain how you would feel if you were in similar situations. Your empathy will be extremely meaningful to them.
Express emotional empathy by sharing similar feelings:
: "If someone said that to me, I would be hurt, too."
Show cognitive empathy when you haven't had the same experiences:
: "After you broke down that interaction and shared how it impacted you, I can completely understand why that was an uncomfortable dynamic."
9. Value other people.
Put community first to make others feel appreciated.
When people ask what matters most to you, talk about how others enhance your life and the way their ideals motivate you. For example, instead of talking about money, gush about how you love your job because it helps change society for the better. Your selflessness will warm people's hearts.
Share how the insight of others is more valuable than profit.
Express how collaboration and teamwork fulfills you.
Discuss why you cherish building friendships and connections.
Say that creating a sense of family and community is important to you.
10. Give praise.
Hand out compliments and you’ll be the highlight of everyone’s day.
Look for ways that people are shining or excelling. These moments can be understated, like the way someone always has a smile on their face, or attention-grabbing, such as an incredible sales tactic that a co-worker discovered. When you give everyone sincere words of affirmation, you'll boost their self-esteem and their opinion of you.
Prioritize giving praise that's based on someone's personality rather than their appearance or the way others can benefit from them.
: "Your strategy about speaking to the customer like they're your friend was incredible! You are clearly a very sensitive, creative, and thoughtful person."
11. Communicate with calmness.
Be polite during every interaction to show respect.
No matter what situation you find yourself in, maintain your composure. Choose to be as friendly and courteous as possible. For example, call people by their first name and say that you value them even when you have disagreements. You'll defuse conflict and find common ground.
When you speak mindfully in high-pressure situations, people will look up to you as a leader.
If you check in about people’s needs and validate their feelings, you’ll resolve conflicts more easily.
Every time you model grace, manners, and peacefulness, you’ll be an example of how to act in difficult scenarios.
12. Exercise patience.
Keep your cool to prove you can do well under pressure.
When you are faced with either minor inconveniences or major crises, tap into your optimism and resilience. If you confront difficulties, slow down and put everything in perspective by reminding yourself that all obstacles are temporary—when anyone sees you take a moment to pause or reflect, they’ll probably be impressed by your peaceful outlook.
Smile, take deep breaths, and use affirmations. Your calm body language and de-stressing tactics will encourage others to take care of themselves, too.
: "Even though it’s hard to concentrate at work with all the construction work happening outside, it’ll be over soon. The contractors said they’ll be done in 10 minutes."
13. Take accountability for your actions.
Admit your mistakes to say you always want to make things right.
If you slipped up or were incorrect, avoid blaming others and own up to your behavior as soon as you can. Be sincerely apologetic and express that you had the best intentions and that you'll strive to do better in the future. Share that you understand where you went wrong. When you're willing to say when you're at fault, others will appreciate how credible and well-intentioned you are.
: "I forgot to add an attachment to that e-mail!"
: "I didn't repeat that statement correctly."
: "I admit that I can forget small details."
: "I will study all of our guidelines."
14. Express forgiveness.
Show mercy by letting go and moving on.
When someone says they're sorry for their actions, accept their apology and let them make amends. Look for opportunities to show compassion and embrace that people usually just want the best for others. When you have room in your heart for others even when they've made mistakes, people will be grateful for all your leeway.
: "That's very thoughtful of you. It's all water under a bridge."
: "Let's try to have more talks about this and work it all out. I just need us to communicate more so we can find a resolution."
: "I understand that you were stressed and going through a hard time. I'm still here for you."
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Have integrity.\\nStand out in the crowd by always sticking to your principles.\\nWhenever you have a chance, show others that your actions line up with your morals. Share the values that define you, then think about behaviors that match your intentions. For example, if you say that you believe in cooperation, find every chance you can to support people. Everyone will be wowed by all your consistency.\\n\\n: “I believe in helping the needy, so I volunteer at a shelter.”\\n: “I value honesty, so I’ll give you my unfiltered take here.”\\n: “I wanted to show I cared, so I donated to the fundraiser.”\\n2. Stay humble.\\nBe modest by embracing both strengths and weaknesses.\\nTell your friends or peers any areas of growth you're working on, like time management or organization. If people compliment you, thank them, then smile and say that you're working just as hard as everyone else is.\\n\\n: \\\"Thank you! I really appreciate that. I try my best to present the best research I can, and it definitely takes a lot of work.\\\"\\n: \\\"That's very nice of you to say. While I love to express my creativity, I struggle to focus on boring life stuff...like taxes!\\\"\\n: \\\"You're too kind! I know that this campaign was a hit because of each and every person here.\\\"\\n3. Remain authentic.\\nShare what’s in your heart to show you’re genuine.\\nSpeak about your outlooks and be totally truthful. Even when you'll be \\\"different\\\" from the rest of the pack, say exactly what's on your mind. Strike the right balance between honesty and respect when you open up—outline all your opinions and share your perspective. Just be sure to be courteous every time.\\n\\n: \\\"While a lot of people think it's important to focus on finances, I’d like to chase my artistic passions instead.\\\"\\n: \\\"I think it’s okay to goof off at work sometimes and experiment with different ideas! It helps keep things fresh and creative.\\\"\\n: \\\"I think we should avoid creating any ads that make people insecure. Let's produce positive content instead!\\\"\\n4. Show kindness.\\nExpress compassion at every moment to uplift everyone.\\nPay attention when people ask for help and share how you'd like to pitch in. After you've volunteered and see the positive impact you’ve made on people’s lives, you'll be sure that your actions really mattered.\\nSupport peers and co-workers by sharing tips and resources.\\nAssist charities, shelters, and non-profits.\\nDo simple favors for friends and strangers.\\nTell your friends they can reach out at any time for help.\\n5. Prove you’re trustworthy.\\nKeep secrets and promises to be a great confidante.\\nSpeak highly of others, listen closely to what others have to say, and steer clear of gossip—others come to you when they need to share sensitive info. Because you're so reliable, they'll know you have their best interests at heart.\\n\\n: “I only want to speak highly of others I work with.”\\n: “Thank you for sharing. I will keep the details private.”\\n: “I reported the incident, but I kept your name out of it.”\\n6. Stay honest.\\nBe sincere and you’ll definitely confirm that you tell the truth.\\nTake every opportunity you can to be open and transparent. When you're vulnerable or struggling, let people know. If you can’t show up for an individual, it’s okay to say that. The more you're straightforward even when the situation isn't ideal, the more others will be impressed by your candidness.\\n\\n: \\\"This is really new to me, and I'm not sure I have the hang of it yet.\\\"\\n: \\\"I would love to attend, but I'm swamped with projects right now!\\\"\\n: \\\"I'm facing hardships in my family, and it's really impacted me.\\\"\\n7. Demonstrate courage.\\nFight for what you believe in to show your bravery.\\nIf you or other people are mistreated, express your boundaries. Even if it’s easier to “keep the peace” and let an unkind remark or action slide, step up and speak up. For example, if someone lashes out—even if they’re tired or stressed—let them know that their behavior isn’t acceptable. Witnesses will notice your assertiveness and be inspired to show bravery, too.\\n\\n: “I will not respond to name-calling.”\\n: “I understand you’re having a hard time, but it’s still not okay to say that.”\\n: “I have to step in here—Jamie doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”\\n8. Prioritize empathy.\\nListen to everyone’s experiences to demonstrate that you care.\\nMake time to listen to other people. Ask about how they’re doing right now and learn about what they've gone through in the past.Then, explain how you would feel if you were in similar situations. Your empathy will be extremely meaningful to them.\\nExpress emotional empathy by sharing similar feelings:\\n: \\\"If someone said that to me, I would be hurt, too.\\\"\\nShow cognitive empathy when you haven't had the same experiences:\\n: \\\"After you broke down that interaction and shared how it impacted you, I can completely understand why that was an uncomfortable dynamic.\\\"\\n9. Value other people.\\nPut community first to make others feel appreciated.\\nWhen people ask what matters most to you, talk about how others enhance your life and the way their ideals motivate you. For example, instead of talking about money, gush about how you love your job because it helps change society for the better. Your selflessness will warm people's hearts.\\nShare how the insight of others is more valuable than profit.\\nExpress how collaboration and teamwork fulfills you.\\nDiscuss why you cherish building friendships and connections.\\nSay that creating a sense of family and community is important to you.\\n10. Give praise.\\nHand out compliments and you’ll be the highlight of everyone’s day.\\nLook for ways that people are shining or excelling. These moments can be understated, like the way someone always has a smile on their face, or attention-grabbing, such as an incredible sales tactic that a co-worker discovered. When you give everyone sincere words of affirmation, you'll boost their self-esteem and their opinion of you.\\nPrioritize giving praise that's based on someone's personality rather than their appearance or the way others can benefit from them.\\n: \\\"Your strategy about speaking to the customer like they're your friend was incredible! You are clearly a very sensitive, creative, and thoughtful person.\\\"\\n11. Communicate with calmness.\\nBe polite during every interaction to show respect.\\nNo matter what situation you find yourself in, maintain your composure. Choose to be as friendly and courteous as possible. For example, call people by their first name and say that you value them even when you have disagreements. You'll defuse conflict and find common ground.\\nWhen you speak mindfully in high-pressure situations, people will look up to you as a leader.\\nIf you check in about people’s needs and validate their feelings, you’ll resolve conflicts more easily.\\nEvery time you model grace, manners, and peacefulness, you’ll be an example of how to act in difficult scenarios.\\n12. Exercise patience.\\nKeep your cool to prove you can do well under pressure.\\nWhen you are faced with either minor inconveniences or major crises, tap into your optimism and resilience. If you confront difficulties, slow down and put everything in perspective by reminding yourself that all obstacles are temporary—when anyone sees you take a moment to pause or reflect, they’ll probably be impressed by your peaceful outlook.\\nSmile, take deep breaths, and use affirmations. Your calm body language and de-stressing tactics will encourage others to take care of themselves, too.\\n: \\\"Even though it’s hard to concentrate at work with all the construction work happening outside, it’ll be over soon. The contractors said they’ll be done in 10 minutes.\\\"\\n13. Take accountability for your actions.\\nAdmit your mistakes to say you always want to make things right.\\nIf you slipped up or were incorrect, avoid blaming others and own up to your behavior as soon as you can. Be sincerely apologetic and express that you had the best intentions and that you'll strive to do better in the future. Share that you understand where you went wrong. When you're willing to say when you're at fault, others will appreciate how credible and well-intentioned you are.\\n\\n: \\\"I forgot to add an attachment to that e-mail!\\\"\\n: \\\"I didn't repeat that statement correctly.\\\"\\n: \\\"I admit that I can forget small details.\\\"\\n: \\\"I will study all of our guidelines.\\\"\\n14. Express forgiveness.\\nShow mercy by letting go and moving on.\\nWhen someone says they're sorry for their actions, accept their apology and let them make amends. Look for opportunities to show compassion and embrace that people usually just want the best for others. When you have room in your heart for others even when they've made mistakes, people will be grateful for all your leeway.\\n\\n: \\\"That's very thoughtful of you. It's all water under a bridge.\\\"\\n: \\\"Let's try to have more talks about this and work it all out. I just need us to communicate more so we can find a resolution.\\\"\\n: \\\"I understand that you were stressed and going through a hard time. I'm still here for you.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want to be someone who's rare and unforgettable? Luckily, you don't need to change a thing about yourself—instead, just shine a spotlight on your best traits and qualities. Really, rareness is all about showing you're unique and irreplaceable—the \\\"real deal.\\\" Here, we'll tell you how to be the hero or star in any room or situation by highlighting all you have to offer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have integrity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stand out in the crowd by always sticking to your principles.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you have a chance, show others that your actions line up with your morals. Share the values that define you, then think about behaviors that match your intentions. For example, if you say that you believe in cooperation, find every chance you can to support people. Everyone will be wowed by all your consistency.\\n\\n: “I believe in helping the needy, so I volunteer at a shelter.”\\n: “I value honesty, so I’ll give you my unfiltered take here.”\\n: “I wanted to show I cared, so I donated to the fundraiser.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay humble.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be modest by embracing both strengths and weaknesses.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your friends or peers any areas of growth you're working on, like time management or organization. If people compliment you, thank them, then smile and say that you're working just as hard as everyone else is.\\n\\n: \\\"Thank you! I really appreciate that. I try my best to present the best research I can, and it definitely takes a lot of work.\\\"\\n: \\\"That's very nice of you to say. While I love to express my creativity, I struggle to focus on boring life stuff...like taxes!\\\"\\n: \\\"You're too kind! I know that this campaign was a hit because of each and every person here.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remain authentic.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Share what’s in your heart to show you’re genuine.\", \"描述\": \"Speak about your outlooks and be totally truthful. Even when you'll be \\\"different\\\" from the rest of the pack, say exactly what's on your mind. Strike the right balance between honesty and respect when you open up—outline all your opinions and share your perspective. Just be sure to be courteous every time.\\n\\n: \\\"While a lot of people think it's important to focus on finances, I’d like to chase my artistic passions instead.\\\"\\n: \\\"I think it’s okay to goof off at work sometimes and experiment with different ideas! It helps keep things fresh and creative.\\\"\\n: \\\"I think we should avoid creating any ads that make people insecure. Let's produce positive content instead!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show kindness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express compassion at every moment to uplift everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention when people ask for help and share how you'd like to pitch in. After you've volunteered and see the positive impact you’ve made on people’s lives, you'll be sure that your actions really mattered.\\nSupport peers and co-workers by sharing tips and resources.\\nAssist charities, shelters, and non-profits.\\nDo simple favors for friends and strangers.\\nTell your friends they can reach out at any time for help.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Prove you’re trustworthy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep secrets and promises to be a great confidante.\", \"描述\": \"Speak highly of others, listen closely to what others have to say, and steer clear of gossip—others come to you when they need to share sensitive info. Because you're so reliable, they'll know you have their best interests at heart.\\n\\n: “I only want to speak highly of others I work with.”\\n: “Thank you for sharing. I will keep the details private.”\\n: “I reported the incident, but I kept your name out of it.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay honest.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be sincere and you’ll definitely confirm that you tell the truth.\", \"描述\": \"Take every opportunity you can to be open and transparent. When you're vulnerable or struggling, let people know. If you can’t show up for an individual, it’s okay to say that. The more you're straightforward even when the situation isn't ideal, the more others will be impressed by your candidness.\\n\\n: \\\"This is really new to me, and I'm not sure I have the hang of it yet.\\\"\\n: \\\"I would love to attend, but I'm swamped with projects right now!\\\"\\n: \\\"I'm facing hardships in my family, and it's really impacted me.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate courage.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fight for what you believe in to show your bravery.\", \"描述\": \"If you or other people are mistreated, express your boundaries. Even if it’s easier to “keep the peace” and let an unkind remark or action slide, step up and speak up. For example, if someone lashes out—even if they’re tired or stressed—let them know that their behavior isn’t acceptable. Witnesses will notice your assertiveness and be inspired to show bravery, too.\\n\\n: “I will not respond to name-calling.”\\n: “I understand you’re having a hard time, but it’s still not okay to say that.”\\n: “I have to step in here—Jamie doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Prioritize empathy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to everyone’s experiences to demonstrate that you care.\", \"描述\": \"Make time to listen to other people. Ask about how they’re doing right now and learn about what they've gone through in the past.Then, explain how you would feel if you were in similar situations. Your empathy will be extremely meaningful to them.\\nExpress emotional empathy by sharing similar feelings:\\n: \\\"If someone said that to me, I would be hurt, too.\\\"\\nShow cognitive empathy when you haven't had the same experiences:\\n: \\\"After you broke down that interaction and shared how it impacted you, I can completely understand why that was an uncomfortable dynamic.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Value other people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put community first to make others feel appreciated.\", \"描述\": \"When people ask what matters most to you, talk about how others enhance your life and the way their ideals motivate you. For example, instead of talking about money, gush about how you love your job because it helps change society for the better. Your selflessness will warm people's hearts.\\nShare how the insight of others is more valuable than profit.\\nExpress how collaboration and teamwork fulfills you.\\nDiscuss why you cherish building friendships and connections.\\nSay that creating a sense of family and community is important to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Give praise.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hand out compliments and you’ll be the highlight of everyone’s day.\", \"描述\": \"Look for ways that people are shining or excelling. These moments can be understated, like the way someone always has a smile on their face, or attention-grabbing, such as an incredible sales tactic that a co-worker discovered. When you give everyone sincere words of affirmation, you'll boost their self-esteem and their opinion of you.\\nPrioritize giving praise that's based on someone's personality rather than their appearance or the way others can benefit from them.\\n: \\\"Your strategy about speaking to the customer like they're your friend was incredible! You are clearly a very sensitive, creative, and thoughtful person.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Communicate with calmness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be polite during every interaction to show respect.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what situation you find yourself in, maintain your composure. Choose to be as friendly and courteous as possible. For example, call people by their first name and say that you value them even when you have disagreements. You'll defuse conflict and find common ground.\\nWhen you speak mindfully in high-pressure situations, people will look up to you as a leader.\\nIf you check in about people’s needs and validate their feelings, you’ll resolve conflicts more easily.\\nEvery time you model grace, manners, and peacefulness, you’ll be an example of how to act in difficult scenarios.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Exercise patience.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your cool to prove you can do well under pressure.\", \"描述\": \"When you are faced with either minor inconveniences or major crises, tap into your optimism and resilience. If you confront difficulties, slow down and put everything in perspective by reminding yourself that all obstacles are temporary—when anyone sees you take a moment to pause or reflect, they’ll probably be impressed by your peaceful outlook.\\nSmile, take deep breaths, and use affirmations. Your calm body language and de-stressing tactics will encourage others to take care of themselves, too.\\n: \\\"Even though it’s hard to concentrate at work with all the construction work happening outside, it’ll be over soon. The contractors said they’ll be done in 10 minutes.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Take accountability for your actions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Admit your mistakes to say you always want to make things right.\", \"描述\": \"If you slipped up or were incorrect, avoid blaming others and own up to your behavior as soon as you can. Be sincerely apologetic and express that you had the best intentions and that you'll strive to do better in the future. Share that you understand where you went wrong. When you're willing to say when you're at fault, others will appreciate how credible and well-intentioned you are.\\n\\n: \\\"I forgot to add an attachment to that e-mail!\\\"\\n: \\\"I didn't repeat that statement correctly.\\\"\\n: \\\"I admit that I can forget small details.\\\"\\n: \\\"I will study all of our guidelines.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Express forgiveness.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show mercy by letting go and moving on.\", \"描述\": \"When someone says they're sorry for their actions, accept their apology and let them make amends. Look for opportunities to show compassion and embrace that people usually just want the best for others. When you have room in your heart for others even when they've made mistakes, people will be grateful for all your leeway.\\n\\n: \\\"That's very thoughtful of you. It's all water under a bridge.\\\"\\n: \\\"Let's try to have more talks about this and work it all out. I just need us to communicate more so we can find a resolution.\\\"\\n: \\\"I understand that you were stressed and going through a hard time. I'm still here for you.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,083 | How to Be Rational | 1. Thinking Rationally
1-1. Accept the challenge to develop your rational thinking.
Becoming more rational begins with changing the way you process through events and the way that you think. Instead of looking at this change as work, try viewing it as a challenge or an opportunity to grow. Begin to be more rational by trying the following.
Make a commitment out loud to yourself to grow. Try saying, “I will accept this challenge to change, to learn, and to grow by developing my ability to think rationally.”
Determine if you are operating from your “rational mind” or your “emotional mind.” In rational mind your thinking is focused and more logical, utilizing past experience, facts, and research to help you plan and make decisions. In emotional mind your thinking is reactive, sometimes illogical, and uses emotions to plan and make decisions.
1-2. Confront your cognitive biases.
A key to thinking rationally is to be honest about cognitive biases you may have. As a rational thinker, you will be called upon to make your own opinions and have the rationale to back them up. Make an effort now to confront any tendencies you may have to think in ways that detract from your good judgment or rational thinking ability. If you find yourself jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, you may have stumbled upon a bias you can work on.
Consider the cognitive biases that are possible for you to have such as availability heuristic, bandwagon effect, or confirmation bias.
Think objectively about what biases you may exhibit or experience.
Confront that bias and change it by consciously taking a step back and re-evaluating those assumptions.
1-3. Develop a system or approach to improve your rational thinking.
After accepting the challenge to develop your thinking and researching and confronting your biases, you have already taken the first few steps in a plan to become a more rational thinker. Continue to develop and begin to enact a plan to achieve what you want. The key to working on this plan is to be consistent in your practice, whatever that may be. Try the following methods.
Keep an “intellectual” journal. Keep a journal separate from others you may have, and in it, describe situations that have occurred. Record your analysis by evaluating the situation, what happened in detail including what you thought and how you reacted. Write about what you learned about yourself, what could have gone differently, and how rational you reacted.
If you encounter a complex problem and are feeling overwhelmed, pause and break the elements of the problem down. Think through each element, figuring out and writing down your purpose in addressing that element, the question you are trying to answer, and what information you need to approach the problem rationally.
When you notice you are feeling a strong or negative emotion, again pause and analyze. Ask yourself what the thought is that is leading to the emotional reaction and how that might be flawed. Ask yourself what you are basing your thought on that is leading to the emotional reaction. Evaluate that information for reliability.
If you struggle with responding to situations rationally, it's extremely important to identify the reason behind that. Usually, it means that you're tired and need a break before making a decision. Or, it could mean that a value of yours is being stepped on or a need of yours isn't being met.
1-4. Practice your rational thinking habits.
Developing a more rational way of thinking takes time, energy, and effort. In order to establish good rational thinking habits make sure that you are taking the time to consistently practice. While it may take significant time in the beginning, as you continue to make the practice more dominant in your life, it should take less and less time.
At the start, you should be practicing your rational thinking skills multiple times a day. As you progress further, your rational thinking will become easier and more natural, taking less conscious effort and time.
2. Expressing Your Rational Self
2-1. Speak about your opinions rationally.
Another way to be rational is to project a more rational self to the people around you. This can begin by speaking about your opinions and your thoughts rationally to others. Everyone has their own opinions, beliefs, likes and dislikes. The difference in a rational individual is their ability to explain, support, or be flexible in the way they think about theirs. Try the following.
Have an explanation or evidence behind your opinions. It is important that you base your opinions on something. Know where your opinions come from and how to discuss them with others.
Be critical about evidence or information that sparks beliefs or opinions.
Be open to changing your opinion if new evidence or arguments are presented.
2-2. Engage in debate.
Along with being about to speak about your opinions, rational individuals are able to engage in discussions and debates about various issues. Engaging in debate shows others that you are a thinker, open to being challenged and can respond rationally and intellectually instead of emotionally. During a debate you can appear more rational if you do the following.
Be prepared to articulate, explain, and defend your thoughts on an issue. “I disagree. Here's why.”
Admit that someone else has made a good point, even if it is counter to yours. “That's a great point. I had not considered it that way before.”
Be willing to listen to and accept counter-arguments if they are well reasoned. “I'm interested in your viewpoint. How did you come to that conclusion?”
2-3. Complain less.
Often people complain about many different occurrences in their lives. Expressing frustration does not necessarily show a lack of rational thought. Excessively complaining about the same topics, however, does illustrate a lack of ability to rationally think through the situation and develop a plan or solution. When a situation or a person irritates you, talk about it with a trusted person, but also begin to develop a plan to change it.
Start by taking two deep breaths and refocusing your thinking.
Be strategic about what you complain about. Only complain if it is in order to help you find a resolution.
Try to make time goals for yourself, such as going 24 hours without complaining
3. Being Rational in Relationships
3-1. Listen actively and intently.
The key to being a more rational friend is to listen actively and intently. If a friend is upset about something that happened, it is important to wait to process and consider all the information given before responding. In this way, you will have the most information possible and will be able to analyze the situation fully to come to a rational conclusion or opinion. Listen actively and intently by utilizing the following.
Make eye contact with your friend and observe their emotional expressions.
Avoid any distractions such as your phone in order to fully focus on them.
Clarify and restate things to make sure you are understanding your friend correctly.
Identify the difference between rational information and emotional information that your friend is giving you.
3-2. Consider the other person's perspective.
Even though you have been working on becoming more rational, you may need to accept that others are not. It is possible that you will have to adjust your expectations and consider the other person's perspective before anticipating a level of rationality in your relationship. Be flexible and understanding with where others are in terms of their rational minds and emotional minds. Consider their perspective by attempting the following.
Step away from your current view of the world and imagine what it might be like for them.
Recognize that your best bet to reasoning with them, or providing them with a rational perspective is to understand their experience and their assumptions.
Acknowledge that an emotion is an emotion. If something affects someone, it is no less important. Empathy is crucial in relationships.
3-3. Be an honest and rational friend.
When a friend confides in you, never be afraid to be the voice of reason. As you have continued to work on developing your own rationality, your friends may have noticed. Most people tend to seek advice from the person that will give an honest opinion rather than sugarcoat the truth.
Be careful, though. Friends might not always come to you for advice or for a rational perspective. Sometimes friends just need to vent and share their experience or their emotion with you. Be cautious against providing constant, unsolicited advice.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Thinking Rationally\\n1-1. Accept the challenge to develop your rational thinking.\\nBecoming more rational begins with changing the way you process through events and the way that you think. Instead of looking at this change as work, try viewing it as a challenge or an opportunity to grow. Begin to be more rational by trying the following.\\nMake a commitment out loud to yourself to grow. Try saying, “I will accept this challenge to change, to learn, and to grow by developing my ability to think rationally.”\\nDetermine if you are operating from your “rational mind” or your “emotional mind.” In rational mind your thinking is focused and more logical, utilizing past experience, facts, and research to help you plan and make decisions. In emotional mind your thinking is reactive, sometimes illogical, and uses emotions to plan and make decisions.\\n1-2. Confront your cognitive biases.\\nA key to thinking rationally is to be honest about cognitive biases you may have. As a rational thinker, you will be called upon to make your own opinions and have the rationale to back them up. Make an effort now to confront any tendencies you may have to think in ways that detract from your good judgment or rational thinking ability. If you find yourself jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, you may have stumbled upon a bias you can work on.\\nConsider the cognitive biases that are possible for you to have such as availability heuristic, bandwagon effect, or confirmation bias.\\nThink objectively about what biases you may exhibit or experience.\\nConfront that bias and change it by consciously taking a step back and re-evaluating those assumptions.\\n1-3. Develop a system or approach to improve your rational thinking.\\nAfter accepting the challenge to develop your thinking and researching and confronting your biases, you have already taken the first few steps in a plan to become a more rational thinker. Continue to develop and begin to enact a plan to achieve what you want. The key to working on this plan is to be consistent in your practice, whatever that may be. Try the following methods.\\nKeep an “intellectual” journal. Keep a journal separate from others you may have, and in it, describe situations that have occurred. Record your analysis by evaluating the situation, what happened in detail including what you thought and how you reacted. Write about what you learned about yourself, what could have gone differently, and how rational you reacted.\\nIf you encounter a complex problem and are feeling overwhelmed, pause and break the elements of the problem down. Think through each element, figuring out and writing down your purpose in addressing that element, the question you are trying to answer, and what information you need to approach the problem rationally.\\nWhen you notice you are feeling a strong or negative emotion, again pause and analyze. Ask yourself what the thought is that is leading to the emotional reaction and how that might be flawed. Ask yourself what you are basing your thought on that is leading to the emotional reaction. Evaluate that information for reliability.\\nIf you struggle with responding to situations rationally, it's extremely important to identify the reason behind that. Usually, it means that you're tired and need a break before making a decision. Or, it could mean that a value of yours is being stepped on or a need of yours isn't being met.\\n1-4. Practice your rational thinking habits.\\nDeveloping a more rational way of thinking takes time, energy, and effort. In order to establish good rational thinking habits make sure that you are taking the time to consistently practice. While it may take significant time in the beginning, as you continue to make the practice more dominant in your life, it should take less and less time.\\nAt the start, you should be practicing your rational thinking skills multiple times a day. As you progress further, your rational thinking will become easier and more natural, taking less conscious effort and time.\\n2. Expressing Your Rational Self\\n2-1. Speak about your opinions rationally.\\nAnother way to be rational is to project a more rational self to the people around you. This can begin by speaking about your opinions and your thoughts rationally to others. Everyone has their own opinions, beliefs, likes and dislikes. The difference in a rational individual is their ability to explain, support, or be flexible in the way they think about theirs. Try the following.\\nHave an explanation or evidence behind your opinions. It is important that you base your opinions on something. Know where your opinions come from and how to discuss them with others.\\nBe critical about evidence or information that sparks beliefs or opinions.\\nBe open to changing your opinion if new evidence or arguments are presented.\\n2-2. Engage in debate.\\nAlong with being about to speak about your opinions, rational individuals are able to engage in discussions and debates about various issues. Engaging in debate shows others that you are a thinker, open to being challenged and can respond rationally and intellectually instead of emotionally. During a debate you can appear more rational if you do the following.\\nBe prepared to articulate, explain, and defend your thoughts on an issue. “I disagree. Here's why.”\\nAdmit that someone else has made a good point, even if it is counter to yours. “That's a great point. I had not considered it that way before.”\\nBe willing to listen to and accept counter-arguments if they are well reasoned. “I'm interested in your viewpoint. How did you come to that conclusion?”\\n2-3. Complain less.\\nOften people complain about many different occurrences in their lives. Expressing frustration does not necessarily show a lack of rational thought. Excessively complaining about the same topics, however, does illustrate a lack of ability to rationally think through the situation and develop a plan or solution. When a situation or a person irritates you, talk about it with a trusted person, but also begin to develop a plan to change it.\\nStart by taking two deep breaths and refocusing your thinking.\\nBe strategic about what you complain about. Only complain if it is in order to help you find a resolution.\\nTry to make time goals for yourself, such as going 24 hours without complaining\\n3. Being Rational in Relationships\\n3-1. Listen actively and intently.\\nThe key to being a more rational friend is to listen actively and intently. If a friend is upset about something that happened, it is important to wait to process and consider all the information given before responding. In this way, you will have the most information possible and will be able to analyze the situation fully to come to a rational conclusion or opinion. Listen actively and intently by utilizing the following.\\nMake eye contact with your friend and observe their emotional expressions.\\nAvoid any distractions such as your phone in order to fully focus on them.\\nClarify and restate things to make sure you are understanding your friend correctly.\\nIdentify the difference between rational information and emotional information that your friend is giving you.\\n3-2. Consider the other person's perspective.\\nEven though you have been working on becoming more rational, you may need to accept that others are not. It is possible that you will have to adjust your expectations and consider the other person's perspective before anticipating a level of rationality in your relationship. Be flexible and understanding with where others are in terms of their rational minds and emotional minds. Consider their perspective by attempting the following.\\nStep away from your current view of the world and imagine what it might be like for them.\\nRecognize that your best bet to reasoning with them, or providing them with a rational perspective is to understand their experience and their assumptions.\\nAcknowledge that an emotion is an emotion. If something affects someone, it is no less important. Empathy is crucial in relationships.\\n3-3. Be an honest and rational friend.\\nWhen a friend confides in you, never be afraid to be the voice of reason. As you have continued to work on developing your own rationality, your friends may have noticed. Most people tend to seek advice from the person that will give an honest opinion rather than sugarcoat the truth.\\nBe careful, though. Friends might not always come to you for advice or for a rational perspective. Sometimes friends just need to vent and share their experience or their emotion with you. Be cautious against providing constant, unsolicited advice.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being more rational in your everyday life can be beneficial in a variety of ways. Becoming more rational is a process of changing your internal experience as well as changing your behavior. While becoming more rational may take a little work, it is possible by beginning to think more rationally, projecting a more rational personality, being more rational in relationships, and creating a more rational daily experience for yourself.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Thinking Rationally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept the challenge to develop your rational thinking.\", \"描述\": \"Becoming more rational begins with changing the way you process through events and the way that you think. Instead of looking at this change as work, try viewing it as a challenge or an opportunity to grow. Begin to be more rational by trying the following.\\nMake a commitment out loud to yourself to grow. Try saying, “I will accept this challenge to change, to learn, and to grow by developing my ability to think rationally.”\\nDetermine if you are operating from your “rational mind” or your “emotional mind.” In rational mind your thinking is focused and more logical, utilizing past experience, facts, and research to help you plan and make decisions. In emotional mind your thinking is reactive, sometimes illogical, and uses emotions to plan and make decisions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Confront your cognitive biases.\", \"描述\": \"A key to thinking rationally is to be honest about cognitive biases you may have. As a rational thinker, you will be called upon to make your own opinions and have the rationale to back them up. Make an effort now to confront any tendencies you may have to think in ways that detract from your good judgment or rational thinking ability. If you find yourself jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, you may have stumbled upon a bias you can work on.\\nConsider the cognitive biases that are possible for you to have such as availability heuristic, bandwagon effect, or confirmation bias.\\nThink objectively about what biases you may exhibit or experience.\\nConfront that bias and change it by consciously taking a step back and re-evaluating those assumptions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop a system or approach to improve your rational thinking.\", \"描述\": \"After accepting the challenge to develop your thinking and researching and confronting your biases, you have already taken the first few steps in a plan to become a more rational thinker. Continue to develop and begin to enact a plan to achieve what you want. The key to working on this plan is to be consistent in your practice, whatever that may be. Try the following methods.\\nKeep an “intellectual” journal. Keep a journal separate from others you may have, and in it, describe situations that have occurred. Record your analysis by evaluating the situation, what happened in detail including what you thought and how you reacted. Write about what you learned about yourself, what could have gone differently, and how rational you reacted.\\nIf you encounter a complex problem and are feeling overwhelmed, pause and break the elements of the problem down. Think through each element, figuring out and writing down your purpose in addressing that element, the question you are trying to answer, and what information you need to approach the problem rationally.\\nWhen you notice you are feeling a strong or negative emotion, again pause and analyze. Ask yourself what the thought is that is leading to the emotional reaction and how that might be flawed. Ask yourself what you are basing your thought on that is leading to the emotional reaction. Evaluate that information for reliability.\\nIf you struggle with responding to situations rationally, it's extremely important to identify the reason behind that. Usually, it means that you're tired and need a break before making a decision. Or, it could mean that a value of yours is being stepped on or a need of yours isn't being met.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice your rational thinking habits.\", \"描述\": \"Developing a more rational way of thinking takes time, energy, and effort. In order to establish good rational thinking habits make sure that you are taking the time to consistently practice. While it may take significant time in the beginning, as you continue to make the practice more dominant in your life, it should take less and less time.\\nAt the start, you should be practicing your rational thinking skills multiple times a day. As you progress further, your rational thinking will become easier and more natural, taking less conscious effort and time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Expressing Your Rational Self\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak about your opinions rationally.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be rational is to project a more rational self to the people around you. This can begin by speaking about your opinions and your thoughts rationally to others. Everyone has their own opinions, beliefs, likes and dislikes. The difference in a rational individual is their ability to explain, support, or be flexible in the way they think about theirs. Try the following.\\nHave an explanation or evidence behind your opinions. It is important that you base your opinions on something. Know where your opinions come from and how to discuss them with others.\\nBe critical about evidence or information that sparks beliefs or opinions.\\nBe open to changing your opinion if new evidence or arguments are presented.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Engage in debate.\", \"描述\": \"Along with being about to speak about your opinions, rational individuals are able to engage in discussions and debates about various issues. Engaging in debate shows others that you are a thinker, open to being challenged and can respond rationally and intellectually instead of emotionally. During a debate you can appear more rational if you do the following.\\nBe prepared to articulate, explain, and defend your thoughts on an issue. “I disagree. Here's why.”\\nAdmit that someone else has made a good point, even if it is counter to yours. “That's a great point. I had not considered it that way before.”\\nBe willing to listen to and accept counter-arguments if they are well reasoned. “I'm interested in your viewpoint. How did you come to that conclusion?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Complain less.\", \"描述\": \"Often people complain about many different occurrences in their lives. Expressing frustration does not necessarily show a lack of rational thought. Excessively complaining about the same topics, however, does illustrate a lack of ability to rationally think through the situation and develop a plan or solution. When a situation or a person irritates you, talk about it with a trusted person, but also begin to develop a plan to change it.\\nStart by taking two deep breaths and refocusing your thinking.\\nBe strategic about what you complain about. Only complain if it is in order to help you find a resolution.\\nTry to make time goals for yourself, such as going 24 hours without complaining\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Rational in Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen actively and intently.\", \"描述\": \"The key to being a more rational friend is to listen actively and intently. If a friend is upset about something that happened, it is important to wait to process and consider all the information given before responding. In this way, you will have the most information possible and will be able to analyze the situation fully to come to a rational conclusion or opinion. Listen actively and intently by utilizing the following.\\nMake eye contact with your friend and observe their emotional expressions.\\nAvoid any distractions such as your phone in order to fully focus on them.\\nClarify and restate things to make sure you are understanding your friend correctly.\\nIdentify the difference between rational information and emotional information that your friend is giving you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider the other person's perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you have been working on becoming more rational, you may need to accept that others are not. It is possible that you will have to adjust your expectations and consider the other person's perspective before anticipating a level of rationality in your relationship. Be flexible and understanding with where others are in terms of their rational minds and emotional minds. Consider their perspective by attempting the following.\\nStep away from your current view of the world and imagine what it might be like for them.\\nRecognize that your best bet to reasoning with them, or providing them with a rational perspective is to understand their experience and their assumptions.\\nAcknowledge that an emotion is an emotion. If something affects someone, it is no less important. Empathy is crucial in relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be an honest and rational friend.\", \"描述\": \"When a friend confides in you, never be afraid to be the voice of reason. As you have continued to work on developing your own rationality, your friends may have noticed. Most people tend to seek advice from the person that will give an honest opinion rather than sugarcoat the truth.\\nBe careful, though. Friends might not always come to you for advice or for a rational perspective. Sometimes friends just need to vent and share their experience or their emotion with you. Be cautious against providing constant, unsolicited advice.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,084 | How to Be Ready and Comfortable Kissing a Guy | 1. Steps
1-1. Spray nice perfume.
Guys love girls that will smell good, but don't spray too much - "less is more". It's recommended to be sprayed on the neck, wrists and if you want, all over your chest. Fun fact: It's scientifically proven that boys are attracted to the scent of vanilla!
1-2. Tell yourself that everything will be okay.
Because it will be okay! Nothing bad is going to happen. Plus it's "your" choice that you're doing this, nobody else's. You can always say no if you want to. But once you get into the kissing - you'll enjoy, and will be fine!
1-3. Start by cuddling.
Never just go in for the kiss unless you want to and you know your partner is okay with it too. This will ease any nerves you have too.
1-4. Slowly look up at him.
Start giggling gently and look into his eyes, this will ease his nerves because he knows that you're comfortable. Maybe take his hand and give it a squeeze.
1-5. Look at his lips.
And then look back up at his eyes. This is hinting you'd like a kiss.
1-6. The guy should then get the idea and you should both lean in and make the kiss natural.
1-7. Don't make it awkward at the end.
Say something or giggle. Maybe squeeze his hand again. Or create a sudden goodbye. You could nicely say, "I've got to go now, but I'll speak later."
Tips
Make sure you have fresh, nice breath. Use a mint, not gum, because you need to find a way to spit that out later, and chewing gum creates more saliva.
Before your kiss put on some lip balm, but only a little.
The guy will be just as nervous as you, so just remember that everything is fine.
Warnings
If the guy pushes you further into anything other than a kiss, and you don't want to, do not let him. He does not have the right to do that.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:41",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Spray nice perfume.\\nGuys love girls that will smell good, but don't spray too much - \\\"less is more\\\". It's recommended to be sprayed on the neck, wrists and if you want, all over your chest. Fun fact: It's scientifically proven that boys are attracted to the scent of vanilla!\\n1-2. Tell yourself that everything will be okay.\\nBecause it will be okay! Nothing bad is going to happen. Plus it's \\\"your\\\" choice that you're doing this, nobody else's. You can always say no if you want to. But once you get into the kissing - you'll enjoy, and will be fine!\\n1-3. Start by cuddling.\\nNever just go in for the kiss unless you want to and you know your partner is okay with it too. This will ease any nerves you have too.\\n1-4. Slowly look up at him.\\nStart giggling gently and look into his eyes, this will ease his nerves because he knows that you're comfortable. Maybe take his hand and give it a squeeze.\\n1-5. Look at his lips.\\nAnd then look back up at his eyes. This is hinting you'd like a kiss.\\n1-6. The guy should then get the idea and you should both lean in and make the kiss natural.\\n\\n1-7. Don't make it awkward at the end.\\nSay something or giggle. Maybe squeeze his hand again. Or create a sudden goodbye. You could nicely say, \\\"I've got to go now, but I'll speak later.\\\"\\nTips\\nMake sure you have fresh, nice breath. Use a mint, not gum, because you need to find a way to spit that out later, and chewing gum creates more saliva.\\nBefore your kiss put on some lip balm, but only a little.\\nThe guy will be just as nervous as you, so just remember that everything is fine.\\nWarnings\\nIf the guy pushes you further into anything other than a kiss, and you don't want to, do not let him. He does not have the right to do that.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You've been dreaming about this kiss for ages. In your fantasies, it always goes perfectly, but reality is never quite the same. To make sure you're ready and comfortable for the kiss, it's important to make a few real-life preparations. You can prepare yourself by primping with some perfume, giving yourself a pep talk, and leading up to the kiss with some cuddling. Your real life kiss might not resemble one from your dreams, but if you're ready and comfortable, it will feel even better.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spray nice perfume.\", \"描述\": \"Guys love girls that will smell good, but don't spray too much - \\\"less is more\\\". It's recommended to be sprayed on the neck, wrists and if you want, all over your chest. Fun fact: It's scientifically proven that boys are attracted to the scent of vanilla!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell yourself that everything will be okay.\", \"描述\": \"Because it will be okay! Nothing bad is going to happen. Plus it's \\\"your\\\" choice that you're doing this, nobody else's. You can always say no if you want to. But once you get into the kissing - you'll enjoy, and will be fine!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start by cuddling.\", \"描述\": \"Never just go in for the kiss unless you want to and you know your partner is okay with it too. This will ease any nerves you have too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Slowly look up at him.\", \"描述\": \"Start giggling gently and look into his eyes, this will ease his nerves because he knows that you're comfortable. Maybe take his hand and give it a squeeze.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look at his lips.\", \"描述\": \"And then look back up at his eyes. This is hinting you'd like a kiss.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"The guy should then get the idea and you should both lean in and make the kiss natural.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't make it awkward at the end.\", \"描述\": \"Say something or giggle. Maybe squeeze his hand again. Or create a sudden goodbye. You could nicely say, \\\"I've got to go now, but I'll speak later.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make sure you have fresh, nice breath. Use a mint, not gum, because you need to find a way to spit that out later, and chewing gum creates more saliva.\\n\", \"Before your kiss put on some lip balm, but only a little.\\n\", \"The guy will be just as nervous as you, so just remember that everything is fine.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If the guy pushes you further into anything other than a kiss, and you don't want to, do not let him. He does not have the right to do that.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,085 | How to Be Ready for Your First Period | 1. Securing Supplies
1-1. Stock up on pads and tampons.
Pads and tampons are 2 of the most common ways to soak up your menstrual flow without getting your clothes dirty in the process. You can find these sanitary supplies at your local drugstore or big-box retail store.
Pads are long, flat rectangles of absorbent material that stick to the center of your underwear. They soak up any extra period flow that leaves your vagina.
Tampons are cylindrical pieces of cotton wool that go directly into your vaginal canal. They absorb your period flow at the source.
1-2. Make a period kit that you can bring with you to different places.
This kit contains everything you need for your period and keeps you feeling clean and protected if you run into an accident at school or some other place away from home. Be sure to include:
Pads
Tampons
Clean, period-proof underwear
Painkillers
Think about making 2 period kits: one that you keep at school and one that you keep at home.
1-3. Store some spare pants and underwear in a safe place at school.
Feel free to stash them in your locker or backpack, so you can grab them easily. If you end up leaking during the school day, head over to the bathroom and change.
You can also conceal leaks by wrapping a sweatshirt around your waist.
Pack some dark pants or skirts, if you can. These are better at concealing leaks.
1-4. Grab a calendar so you can track your period.
Your period happens on a fairly regular schedule, and a calendar can help you time and predict your cycles more accurately. It’s also a great way to track any symptoms you experience during your period.
A calendar can also help you find any irregular period patterns, which you can report to your doctor.
You can also use a phone app to track your period. “Me V PMDD,” “Flo Period & Ovulation,” “Period Diary,” and “Cycles” are a few free apps you can try.
2. Using a Pad
2-1. Choose a pad that’s absorbent enough for your period flow.
Pads come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from thin pantyliners to thick, extra-absorbent “maxi” pads. Pick an absorbency level that best lines up with your flow, so you can stay comfortable and protected throughout the day. Here’s a quick guide to help you choose:
pantyliners
regular pads
maxi pads
2-2. Peel off any paper strips from the back and sides of the pad.
Remove the pad from its wrapper and look for a long, rectangular strip of paper going down the center—this covers the pad’s backing adhesive. Then, remove any backing paper from the wings (side sections) of the pad if it has them.
You can double-check your pad container to see if your pads have wings or not.
2-3. Secure the pad in place along the center of your underwear.
Cover the entire middle section of your underwear with the sticky pad, pressing it in place to make sure it’s secure. If your pad has wings, wrap and press them along the very bottom of your panties.
Remember—there’s nothing weird or strange about using a pad. Lots of people use them to manage their periods!
2-4. Replace your pad once every few hours or whenever it’s soaked.
Gently peel the pad off of your underwear and cover it with a section of toilet paper. Then, throw the pad out in the trash or in the disposal box along the side of a public bathroom stall. Grab a new pad and secure it in place on your underwear, so you stay protected and covered.
Feel free to change your pad earlier if it gets soaked really quickly. In this case, it might be worth switching to a more absorbent pad.
Don’t flush your used pad down the toilet. These products aren’t designed to be flushed, and will likely back up the toilet.
3. Inserting a Tampon
3-1. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water.
You’ll be inserting the tampon directly into your vaginal canal with your bare hands, so it’s really important to wash them before you get started. Always scrub your hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds, and be sure to dry them off before you begin.
3-2. Choose a tampon absorbency that meets your needs.
Tampons come in 5 different absorbency levels: light, regular, super, super plus, and ultra. Medical professionals recommend starting with a lighter absorbency tampon, and working your way up as needed.
The higher the absorbency you use, the higher risk you have of developing Toxic Shock Syndrome, an uncommon but dangerous condition associated with tampons.
3-3. Squat, get seated on the toilet, or prop one of your legs up.
Some people prefer to sit on the toilet when putting a tampon in, while other people prefer to squat. Other people find it even easier to sit or squat while propping a leg up to the side. Try out these different positions and see which one feels the most secure and comfortable for you.
Spread your knees out if you stay seated. This will make it a lot easier to get the tampon in.
3-4. Grip the tampon with your thumb and middle finger.
Pull the tampon out of its wrapper and hold it in one hand. The tampon itself is typically stuffed inside a plastic or cardboard applicator—this is the plunger-like device that helps push the tampon further into your vagina. Hold the bottom of the tampon’s long, vertical barrel in between your thumb and middle finger. Then, place your pointer finger beneath the plunger on the bottom.
There are also non-applicator tampons, which you insert with only your fingers. Some people really like them, while other people find them really difficult to work with. An applicator tampon is likely easier to work with when you first learn the ropes.
3-5. Slide the tampon into your vagina at an angle.
Point the tip of your tampon toward your spine instead of holding it completely straight. Then, guide the barrel of the tampon into your vagina using your fingers. Try to relax while you do this—it’s a lot easier to get your tampon in place when your muscles aren’t tense.
Remember: your vagina is behind your urethra (the tiny opening for peeing) and in front of your anus. When your fingers touch the vaginal opening, they may come away looking bloody.
A tampon might feel a bit strange and uncomfortable at first, but it should never feel painful going in. Be sure to let your doctor know if you start experiencing a lot of pain.
3-6. Press the applicator with your pointer finger to release the tampon into your vaginal canal.
Push the plunger all the way up until it’s inside the top portion of the applicator. This helps push the tampon a little further into your vaginal canal, so it can do a better job soaking up your period flow.
This process might feel a little weird at first, but you won’t actually feel the tampon once it’s inside you.
3-7. Remove the plastic or cardboard applicator and throw it away.
Pull the empty applicator out of your vagina and toss it in the nearest wastebasket or disposal box, along with the empty wrapper. At this point, look for a long, white string dangling out from your vagina.
This string helps you pull out your tampon later on.
3-8. Leave the tampon in place for 4-6 hours.
Tampons help provide long-term support and protection, but they shouldn’t be left in your vagina indefinitely. Check your underwear around the 4-hour mark to see how the tampon is holding up. If it’s leaking, remove the old tampon and replace it with a new one. If you don’t notice any leaks, leave it in for 2 more hours.
You can keep your tampon in for as long as 8 hours, but most experts suggest following the 4-6 hour rule.
3-9. Tug on the dangling string to remove the tampon.
Firmly grab the string and pull with a moderate amount of pressure. In a matter of moments, the tampon will slide out. Don’t panic if you can’t find the string; instead, grab the tampon with your fingers and pull it out manually.
Visit your doctor’s office or a nearby reproductive health clinic if you’re having trouble removing the tampon on your own.
3-10. Throw out your tampon instead of flushing it down the toilet.
Tampons can mess with your plumbing, even if they’re labeled as safe to flush. Instead, cover the used tampon with a section of clean toilet paper and toss it in the nearest trash can or bathroom disposal box.
Practice makes perfect! The more you use tampons, the more confident and comfortable you’ll feel during your future periods.
4. Learning about Menstruation
4-1. Menstruation is a monthly cycle.
As you get older, your body starts to mature and develop during a process called “puberty.” One of these developments is your menstrual cycle, a monthly process where your body gets ready to potentially have a baby. This cycle causes blood and other bodily fluids to flow out of your vagina for a short period of days.
Each month, the walls of your uterus thicken with extra blood and tissue and your ovaries release an egg. This egg moves down one of your two fallopian tubes and into the uterus.
If fertilized by a sperm cell (through sex), the egg will remain in the uterus and grow into a fetus. If this does not occur, the lining of the uterus breaks down, and bleeding occurs. This is what is referred to as your monthly period.
4-2. Your period starts sometime during your teen or preteen years.
Not all women begin menstruation around the same time. While the average age is 12, some girls start as late as 16 and others as early as 8.
Many people first get their period about 2 years after their breasts begin developing.
Your period may start 6 months after you spot any clear, off-white, or white discharge appearing on your underwear.
4-3. Many women experience physical and emotional symptoms during menstruation.
Periods are not always painful, but some women do experience physical symptoms like cramps and tender breasts. You may have some emotional side effects, such as mood swings, as well.
While period symptoms can be a bit uncomfortable, they’re nothing to stress over. Over-the-counter painkillers like ibuprofen can be used to treat cramping and physical symptoms, along with a heating pad. Plus, exercising regularly, even during your period, can help regulate your mood, and make you feel healthier in general.
4-4. The average period lasts between 2 and 7 days.
When you first start getting your period, it may only last a few days, and your bleeding may be inconsistent or very light. Ask some female family members how long their periods last, because chances are, yours will be a similar length.
4-5. Periods tend to be irregular when you’re first starting out.
Many girls are surprised and alarmed by their first periods as they may be irregular. However, menstrual irregularities are really common when you're first having your period.
It's common to miss a period here and there, and you may not have your period for a few months in a row. It can take up to 2 years for your menstrual cycle to become regular, so don’t worry if your current cycle is a bit inconsistent.
Your first few periods may be very light or very heavy. You may also start bleeding, stop, and then start again.
Tips
Despite popular belief, there’s no way for a tampon to get “lost” inside of your body. Your cervix, or the entrance to your uterus, is really tiny, and there’s no way that a tampon can fit through.[37]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source
Some internet myths claim that you have to be sexually active in order to use a tampon, but this isn’t true. Anyone can use a tampon, regardless of their relationship status or lifestyle.[38]
X
Research source
Look into buying some period underwear before your period actually starts. These panties are a bit thicker and more absorbent than most underwear, and provide a bit of extra protection.[39]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Securing Supplies\\n1-1. Stock up on pads and tampons.\\nPads and tampons are 2 of the most common ways to soak up your menstrual flow without getting your clothes dirty in the process. You can find these sanitary supplies at your local drugstore or big-box retail store.\\nPads are long, flat rectangles of absorbent material that stick to the center of your underwear. They soak up any extra period flow that leaves your vagina.\\nTampons are cylindrical pieces of cotton wool that go directly into your vaginal canal. They absorb your period flow at the source.\\n1-2. Make a period kit that you can bring with you to different places.\\nThis kit contains everything you need for your period and keeps you feeling clean and protected if you run into an accident at school or some other place away from home. Be sure to include:\\nPads\\nTampons\\nClean, period-proof underwear\\nPainkillers\\nThink about making 2 period kits: one that you keep at school and one that you keep at home.\\n1-3. Store some spare pants and underwear in a safe place at school.\\nFeel free to stash them in your locker or backpack, so you can grab them easily. If you end up leaking during the school day, head over to the bathroom and change.\\nYou can also conceal leaks by wrapping a sweatshirt around your waist.\\nPack some dark pants or skirts, if you can. These are better at concealing leaks.\\n1-4. Grab a calendar so you can track your period.\\nYour period happens on a fairly regular schedule, and a calendar can help you time and predict your cycles more accurately. It’s also a great way to track any symptoms you experience during your period.\\nA calendar can also help you find any irregular period patterns, which you can report to your doctor.\\nYou can also use a phone app to track your period. “Me V PMDD,” “Flo Period & Ovulation,” “Period Diary,” and “Cycles” are a few free apps you can try.\\n2. Using a Pad\\n2-1. Choose a pad that’s absorbent enough for your period flow.\\nPads come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from thin pantyliners to thick, extra-absorbent “maxi” pads. Pick an absorbency level that best lines up with your flow, so you can stay comfortable and protected throughout the day. Here’s a quick guide to help you choose:\\n\\n pantyliners\\n regular pads\\n maxi pads\\n2-2. Peel off any paper strips from the back and sides of the pad.\\nRemove the pad from its wrapper and look for a long, rectangular strip of paper going down the center—this covers the pad’s backing adhesive. Then, remove any backing paper from the wings (side sections) of the pad if it has them.\\nYou can double-check your pad container to see if your pads have wings or not.\\n2-3. Secure the pad in place along the center of your underwear.\\nCover the entire middle section of your underwear with the sticky pad, pressing it in place to make sure it’s secure. If your pad has wings, wrap and press them along the very bottom of your panties.\\nRemember—there’s nothing weird or strange about using a pad. Lots of people use them to manage their periods!\\n2-4. Replace your pad once every few hours or whenever it’s soaked.\\nGently peel the pad off of your underwear and cover it with a section of toilet paper. Then, throw the pad out in the trash or in the disposal box along the side of a public bathroom stall. Grab a new pad and secure it in place on your underwear, so you stay protected and covered.\\nFeel free to change your pad earlier if it gets soaked really quickly. In this case, it might be worth switching to a more absorbent pad.\\nDon’t flush your used pad down the toilet. These products aren’t designed to be flushed, and will likely back up the toilet.\\n3. Inserting a Tampon\\n3-1. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water.\\nYou’ll be inserting the tampon directly into your vaginal canal with your bare hands, so it’s really important to wash them before you get started. Always scrub your hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds, and be sure to dry them off before you begin.\\n3-2. Choose a tampon absorbency that meets your needs.\\nTampons come in 5 different absorbency levels: light, regular, super, super plus, and ultra. Medical professionals recommend starting with a lighter absorbency tampon, and working your way up as needed.\\nThe higher the absorbency you use, the higher risk you have of developing Toxic Shock Syndrome, an uncommon but dangerous condition associated with tampons.\\n3-3. Squat, get seated on the toilet, or prop one of your legs up.\\nSome people prefer to sit on the toilet when putting a tampon in, while other people prefer to squat. Other people find it even easier to sit or squat while propping a leg up to the side. Try out these different positions and see which one feels the most secure and comfortable for you.\\nSpread your knees out if you stay seated. This will make it a lot easier to get the tampon in.\\n3-4. Grip the tampon with your thumb and middle finger.\\nPull the tampon out of its wrapper and hold it in one hand. The tampon itself is typically stuffed inside a plastic or cardboard applicator—this is the plunger-like device that helps push the tampon further into your vagina. Hold the bottom of the tampon’s long, vertical barrel in between your thumb and middle finger. Then, place your pointer finger beneath the plunger on the bottom.\\nThere are also non-applicator tampons, which you insert with only your fingers. Some people really like them, while other people find them really difficult to work with. An applicator tampon is likely easier to work with when you first learn the ropes.\\n3-5. Slide the tampon into your vagina at an angle.\\nPoint the tip of your tampon toward your spine instead of holding it completely straight. Then, guide the barrel of the tampon into your vagina using your fingers. Try to relax while you do this—it’s a lot easier to get your tampon in place when your muscles aren’t tense.\\nRemember: your vagina is behind your urethra (the tiny opening for peeing) and in front of your anus. When your fingers touch the vaginal opening, they may come away looking bloody.\\nA tampon might feel a bit strange and uncomfortable at first, but it should never feel painful going in. Be sure to let your doctor know if you start experiencing a lot of pain.\\n3-6. Press the applicator with your pointer finger to release the tampon into your vaginal canal.\\nPush the plunger all the way up until it’s inside the top portion of the applicator. This helps push the tampon a little further into your vaginal canal, so it can do a better job soaking up your period flow.\\nThis process might feel a little weird at first, but you won’t actually feel the tampon once it’s inside you.\\n3-7. Remove the plastic or cardboard applicator and throw it away.\\nPull the empty applicator out of your vagina and toss it in the nearest wastebasket or disposal box, along with the empty wrapper. At this point, look for a long, white string dangling out from your vagina.\\nThis string helps you pull out your tampon later on.\\n3-8. Leave the tampon in place for 4-6 hours.\\nTampons help provide long-term support and protection, but they shouldn’t be left in your vagina indefinitely. Check your underwear around the 4-hour mark to see how the tampon is holding up. If it’s leaking, remove the old tampon and replace it with a new one. If you don’t notice any leaks, leave it in for 2 more hours.\\nYou can keep your tampon in for as long as 8 hours, but most experts suggest following the 4-6 hour rule.\\n3-9. Tug on the dangling string to remove the tampon.\\nFirmly grab the string and pull with a moderate amount of pressure. In a matter of moments, the tampon will slide out. Don’t panic if you can’t find the string; instead, grab the tampon with your fingers and pull it out manually.\\nVisit your doctor’s office or a nearby reproductive health clinic if you’re having trouble removing the tampon on your own.\\n3-10. Throw out your tampon instead of flushing it down the toilet.\\nTampons can mess with your plumbing, even if they’re labeled as safe to flush. Instead, cover the used tampon with a section of clean toilet paper and toss it in the nearest trash can or bathroom disposal box.\\nPractice makes perfect! The more you use tampons, the more confident and comfortable you’ll feel during your future periods.\\n4. Learning about Menstruation\\n4-1. Menstruation is a monthly cycle.\\nAs you get older, your body starts to mature and develop during a process called “puberty.” One of these developments is your menstrual cycle, a monthly process where your body gets ready to potentially have a baby. This cycle causes blood and other bodily fluids to flow out of your vagina for a short period of days.\\nEach month, the walls of your uterus thicken with extra blood and tissue and your ovaries release an egg. This egg moves down one of your two fallopian tubes and into the uterus.\\nIf fertilized by a sperm cell (through sex), the egg will remain in the uterus and grow into a fetus. If this does not occur, the lining of the uterus breaks down, and bleeding occurs. This is what is referred to as your monthly period.\\n4-2. Your period starts sometime during your teen or preteen years.\\nNot all women begin menstruation around the same time. While the average age is 12, some girls start as late as 16 and others as early as 8.\\nMany people first get their period about 2 years after their breasts begin developing.\\nYour period may start 6 months after you spot any clear, off-white, or white discharge appearing on your underwear.\\n4-3. Many women experience physical and emotional symptoms during menstruation.\\nPeriods are not always painful, but some women do experience physical symptoms like cramps and tender breasts. You may have some emotional side effects, such as mood swings, as well.\\nWhile period symptoms can be a bit uncomfortable, they’re nothing to stress over. Over-the-counter painkillers like ibuprofen can be used to treat cramping and physical symptoms, along with a heating pad. Plus, exercising regularly, even during your period, can help regulate your mood, and make you feel healthier in general.\\n4-4. The average period lasts between 2 and 7 days.\\nWhen you first start getting your period, it may only last a few days, and your bleeding may be inconsistent or very light. Ask some female family members how long their periods last, because chances are, yours will be a similar length.\\n4-5. Periods tend to be irregular when you’re first starting out.\\nMany girls are surprised and alarmed by their first periods as they may be irregular. However, menstrual irregularities are really common when you're first having your period.\\nIt's common to miss a period here and there, and you may not have your period for a few months in a row. It can take up to 2 years for your menstrual cycle to become regular, so don’t worry if your current cycle is a bit inconsistent.\\nYour first few periods may be very light or very heavy. You may also start bleeding, stop, and then start again.\\nTips\\nDespite popular belief, there’s no way for a tampon to get “lost” inside of your body. Your cervix, or the entrance to your uterus, is really tiny, and there’s no way that a tampon can fit through.[37]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nNational Health Service (UK)\\nPublic healthcare system of the UK\\nGo to source\\nSome internet myths claim that you have to be sexually active in order to use a tampon, but this isn’t true. Anyone can use a tampon, regardless of their relationship status or lifestyle.[38]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nLook into buying some period underwear before your period actually starts. These panties are a bit thicker and more absorbent than most underwear, and provide a bit of extra protection.[39]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Nervous about your first period? That’s totally fair, especially if you’ve heard your fair share of horror stories from friends and family members. You have nothing to worry about, though. There’s nothing strange, scary, or embarrassing about getting your first period, especially if you prepare yourself ahead of time. We’re here to walk you through all of the period supplies you’ll need, as well as how to use them. We’ve even answered some of your most common questions, so you can stay as informed as possible during this new chapter of your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Securing Supplies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stock up on pads and tampons.\", \"描述\": \"Pads and tampons are 2 of the most common ways to soak up your menstrual flow without getting your clothes dirty in the process. You can find these sanitary supplies at your local drugstore or big-box retail store.\\nPads are long, flat rectangles of absorbent material that stick to the center of your underwear. They soak up any extra period flow that leaves your vagina.\\nTampons are cylindrical pieces of cotton wool that go directly into your vaginal canal. They absorb your period flow at the source.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a period kit that you can bring with you to different places.\", \"描述\": \"This kit contains everything you need for your period and keeps you feeling clean and protected if you run into an accident at school or some other place away from home. Be sure to include:\\nPads\\nTampons\\nClean, period-proof underwear\\nPainkillers\\nThink about making 2 period kits: one that you keep at school and one that you keep at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Store some spare pants and underwear in a safe place at school.\", \"描述\": \"Feel free to stash them in your locker or backpack, so you can grab them easily. If you end up leaking during the school day, head over to the bathroom and change.\\nYou can also conceal leaks by wrapping a sweatshirt around your waist.\\nPack some dark pants or skirts, if you can. These are better at concealing leaks.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Grab a calendar so you can track your period.\", \"描述\": \"Your period happens on a fairly regular schedule, and a calendar can help you time and predict your cycles more accurately. It’s also a great way to track any symptoms you experience during your period.\\nA calendar can also help you find any irregular period patterns, which you can report to your doctor.\\nYou can also use a phone app to track your period. “Me V PMDD,” “Flo Period & Ovulation,” “Period Diary,” and “Cycles” are a few free apps you can try.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using a Pad\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a pad that’s absorbent enough for your period flow.\", \"描述\": \"Pads come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from thin pantyliners to thick, extra-absorbent “maxi” pads. Pick an absorbency level that best lines up with your flow, so you can stay comfortable and protected throughout the day. Here’s a quick guide to help you choose:\\n\\n pantyliners\\n regular pads\\n maxi pads\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Peel off any paper strips from the back and sides of the pad.\", \"描述\": \"Remove the pad from its wrapper and look for a long, rectangular strip of paper going down the center—this covers the pad’s backing adhesive. Then, remove any backing paper from the wings (side sections) of the pad if it has them.\\nYou can double-check your pad container to see if your pads have wings or not.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Secure the pad in place along the center of your underwear.\", \"描述\": \"Cover the entire middle section of your underwear with the sticky pad, pressing it in place to make sure it’s secure. If your pad has wings, wrap and press them along the very bottom of your panties.\\nRemember—there’s nothing weird or strange about using a pad. Lots of people use them to manage their periods!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Replace your pad once every few hours or whenever it’s soaked.\", \"描述\": \"Gently peel the pad off of your underwear and cover it with a section of toilet paper. Then, throw the pad out in the trash or in the disposal box along the side of a public bathroom stall. Grab a new pad and secure it in place on your underwear, so you stay protected and covered.\\nFeel free to change your pad earlier if it gets soaked really quickly. In this case, it might be worth switching to a more absorbent pad.\\nDon’t flush your used pad down the toilet. These products aren’t designed to be flushed, and will likely back up the toilet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Inserting a Tampon\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll be inserting the tampon directly into your vaginal canal with your bare hands, so it’s really important to wash them before you get started. Always scrub your hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds, and be sure to dry them off before you begin.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a tampon absorbency that meets your needs.\", \"描述\": \"Tampons come in 5 different absorbency levels: light, regular, super, super plus, and ultra. Medical professionals recommend starting with a lighter absorbency tampon, and working your way up as needed.\\nThe higher the absorbency you use, the higher risk you have of developing Toxic Shock Syndrome, an uncommon but dangerous condition associated with tampons.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Squat, get seated on the toilet, or prop one of your legs up.\", \"描述\": \"Some people prefer to sit on the toilet when putting a tampon in, while other people prefer to squat. Other people find it even easier to sit or squat while propping a leg up to the side. Try out these different positions and see which one feels the most secure and comfortable for you.\\nSpread your knees out if you stay seated. This will make it a lot easier to get the tampon in.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Grip the tampon with your thumb and middle finger.\", \"描述\": \"Pull the tampon out of its wrapper and hold it in one hand. The tampon itself is typically stuffed inside a plastic or cardboard applicator—this is the plunger-like device that helps push the tampon further into your vagina. Hold the bottom of the tampon’s long, vertical barrel in between your thumb and middle finger. Then, place your pointer finger beneath the plunger on the bottom.\\nThere are also non-applicator tampons, which you insert with only your fingers. Some people really like them, while other people find them really difficult to work with. An applicator tampon is likely easier to work with when you first learn the ropes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Slide the tampon into your vagina at an angle.\", \"描述\": \"Point the tip of your tampon toward your spine instead of holding it completely straight. Then, guide the barrel of the tampon into your vagina using your fingers. Try to relax while you do this—it’s a lot easier to get your tampon in place when your muscles aren’t tense.\\nRemember: your vagina is behind your urethra (the tiny opening for peeing) and in front of your anus. When your fingers touch the vaginal opening, they may come away looking bloody.\\nA tampon might feel a bit strange and uncomfortable at first, but it should never feel painful going in. Be sure to let your doctor know if you start experiencing a lot of pain.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Press the applicator with your pointer finger to release the tampon into your vaginal canal.\", \"描述\": \"Push the plunger all the way up until it’s inside the top portion of the applicator. This helps push the tampon a little further into your vaginal canal, so it can do a better job soaking up your period flow.\\nThis process might feel a little weird at first, but you won’t actually feel the tampon once it’s inside you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Remove the plastic or cardboard applicator and throw it away.\", \"描述\": \"Pull the empty applicator out of your vagina and toss it in the nearest wastebasket or disposal box, along with the empty wrapper. At this point, look for a long, white string dangling out from your vagina.\\nThis string helps you pull out your tampon later on.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Leave the tampon in place for 4-6 hours.\", \"描述\": \"Tampons help provide long-term support and protection, but they shouldn’t be left in your vagina indefinitely. Check your underwear around the 4-hour mark to see how the tampon is holding up. If it’s leaking, remove the old tampon and replace it with a new one. If you don’t notice any leaks, leave it in for 2 more hours.\\nYou can keep your tampon in for as long as 8 hours, but most experts suggest following the 4-6 hour rule.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Tug on the dangling string to remove the tampon.\", \"描述\": \"Firmly grab the string and pull with a moderate amount of pressure. In a matter of moments, the tampon will slide out. Don’t panic if you can’t find the string; instead, grab the tampon with your fingers and pull it out manually.\\nVisit your doctor’s office or a nearby reproductive health clinic if you’re having trouble removing the tampon on your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Throw out your tampon instead of flushing it down the toilet.\", \"描述\": \"Tampons can mess with your plumbing, even if they’re labeled as safe to flush. Instead, cover the used tampon with a section of clean toilet paper and toss it in the nearest trash can or bathroom disposal box.\\nPractice makes perfect! The more you use tampons, the more confident and comfortable you’ll feel during your future periods.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learning about Menstruation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Menstruation is a monthly cycle.\", \"描述\": \"As you get older, your body starts to mature and develop during a process called “puberty.” One of these developments is your menstrual cycle, a monthly process where your body gets ready to potentially have a baby. This cycle causes blood and other bodily fluids to flow out of your vagina for a short period of days.\\nEach month, the walls of your uterus thicken with extra blood and tissue and your ovaries release an egg. This egg moves down one of your two fallopian tubes and into the uterus.\\nIf fertilized by a sperm cell (through sex), the egg will remain in the uterus and grow into a fetus. If this does not occur, the lining of the uterus breaks down, and bleeding occurs. This is what is referred to as your monthly period.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Your period starts sometime during your teen or preteen years.\", \"描述\": \"Not all women begin menstruation around the same time. While the average age is 12, some girls start as late as 16 and others as early as 8.\\nMany people first get their period about 2 years after their breasts begin developing.\\nYour period may start 6 months after you spot any clear, off-white, or white discharge appearing on your underwear.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Many women experience physical and emotional symptoms during menstruation.\", \"描述\": \"Periods are not always painful, but some women do experience physical symptoms like cramps and tender breasts. You may have some emotional side effects, such as mood swings, as well.\\nWhile period symptoms can be a bit uncomfortable, they’re nothing to stress over. Over-the-counter painkillers like ibuprofen can be used to treat cramping and physical symptoms, along with a heating pad. Plus, exercising regularly, even during your period, can help regulate your mood, and make you feel healthier in general.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"The average period lasts between 2 and 7 days.\", \"描述\": \"When you first start getting your period, it may only last a few days, and your bleeding may be inconsistent or very light. Ask some female family members how long their periods last, because chances are, yours will be a similar length.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Periods tend to be irregular when you’re first starting out.\", \"描述\": \"Many girls are surprised and alarmed by their first periods as they may be irregular. However, menstrual irregularities are really common when you're first having your period.\\nIt's common to miss a period here and there, and you may not have your period for a few months in a row. It can take up to 2 years for your menstrual cycle to become regular, so don’t worry if your current cycle is a bit inconsistent.\\nYour first few periods may be very light or very heavy. You may also start bleeding, stop, and then start again.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Despite popular belief, there’s no way for a tampon to get “lost” inside of your body. Your cervix, or the entrance to your uterus, is really tiny, and there’s no way that a tampon can fit through.[37]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nNational Health Service (UK)\\nPublic healthcare system of the UK\\nGo to source\\n\", \"Some internet myths claim that you have to be sexually active in order to use a tampon, but this isn’t true. Anyone can use a tampon, regardless of their relationship status or lifestyle.[38]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Look into buying some period underwear before your period actually starts. These panties are a bit thicker and more absorbent than most underwear, and provide a bit of extra protection.[39]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,086 | How to Be Ready for Your Period As a Teen | 1. Steps
1-1. Find out as much information as you can about your period.
The library has many magazines and books, and websites and counselors will be happy to help you too.
1-2. Go on to pad/tampon websites because they might have free samples.
You may need to ask your parents and they should be fine with it because after all, it's free! Also, do research. Most pad/tampon websites tell you about their products so learn which ones sound good. If you can, avoid buying pads or tampons until you have samples so that way, if they're crummy, you didn't waste any money on them.
1-3. Check online stores.
Some do period starter kits! They come with little bits of everything so you can figure out what's easiest and most comfortable for you!
1-4. Keep at least one pad or tampon in all of your purses, book bags, locker, lunch bags, etc...
because you or a friend could start and it isn't very fun to have blood-stained panties. Also, it can be useful to carry around a spare pair of panties just in case you are caught off guard.
1-5. Get used to your cycle.
When you are still irregular, it might help to wear pantyliners every day so if you start, it doesn't leak through anything. Mark a calendar so you can track your days but make it private. (Maybe, a little dot on the days in your calendar so it can be discrete and useful at the same time)
1-6. Use period panties that are meant for periods.
Period panties are basically "pad underwear", so you can wear them alongside other sanitary supplies (or even by themselves if your flow is very light!) to protect your clothes from being stained.
1-7. Consider using a menstrual cup.
They are silicone cups that you put into your vagina, and it catches the blood instead of absorbing it.
It lasts longer than a tampon: about 8 hours.
It's much cheaper in the long run: it costs about $50 and lasts for about 15 years.
All you need to do is put it in, empty it when it's full, rinse it out and put it back in.
1-8. Talk to someone you trust, such as an older sibling or a parent.
They will tell you that there is nothing to be afraid of. Menstruation is a normal part of growing up.
Tips
Remember, when your period first starts, it is almost 100% that it will be irregular. Do not worry or think you have some serious condition. It's all part of the cycle. Be ready for cramping and/or stomach aches too. But if you really do think you have a problem, find a doctor or a trusted adult.
Always keep an extra pair of shorts/trousers in your locker/bag just in case of an emergency.
If you feel somewhat moody or emotional right before or during your period that is normal. It is called PMS.
Warnings
Around the time you enter middle school, start carrying around a few pads (tampons are not recommended for your first period, wait till it becomes regular) so that you won't be caught off guard.
If you get some blood on your clothes or sheets, always use cold water not hot. Hot water can set the stain. Rub fresh stains with some salt, as it absorbs the blood. If you have hydrogen peroxide add it to the cold water and let it soak. It is best to do this when the stain is fresh.
Always wash your hands before and after inserting a tampon or putting on a pad.
Never leave your tampon inside of you for more than 8 hours. If you leave it in longer than that you have a greater risk of catching Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), it is rare but sometimes deadly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Find out as much information as you can about your period.\\nThe library has many magazines and books, and websites and counselors will be happy to help you too.\\n1-2. Go on to pad/tampon websites because they might have free samples.\\nYou may need to ask your parents and they should be fine with it because after all, it's free! Also, do research. Most pad/tampon websites tell you about their products so learn which ones sound good. If you can, avoid buying pads or tampons until you have samples so that way, if they're crummy, you didn't waste any money on them.\\n1-3. Check online stores.\\nSome do period starter kits! They come with little bits of everything so you can figure out what's easiest and most comfortable for you!\\n1-4. Keep at least one pad or tampon in all of your purses, book bags, locker, lunch bags, etc...\\nbecause you or a friend could start and it isn't very fun to have blood-stained panties. Also, it can be useful to carry around a spare pair of panties just in case you are caught off guard.\\n1-5. Get used to your cycle.\\nWhen you are still irregular, it might help to wear pantyliners every day so if you start, it doesn't leak through anything. Mark a calendar so you can track your days but make it private. (Maybe, a little dot on the days in your calendar so it can be discrete and useful at the same time)\\n1-6. Use period panties that are meant for periods.\\nPeriod panties are basically \\\"pad underwear\\\", so you can wear them alongside other sanitary supplies (or even by themselves if your flow is very light!) to protect your clothes from being stained.\\n1-7. Consider using a menstrual cup.\\nThey are silicone cups that you put into your vagina, and it catches the blood instead of absorbing it.\\nIt lasts longer than a tampon: about 8 hours.\\nIt's much cheaper in the long run: it costs about $50 and lasts for about 15 years.\\nAll you need to do is put it in, empty it when it's full, rinse it out and put it back in.\\n1-8. Talk to someone you trust, such as an older sibling or a parent.\\nThey will tell you that there is nothing to be afraid of. Menstruation is a normal part of growing up.\\nTips\\nRemember, when your period first starts, it is almost 100% that it will be irregular. Do not worry or think you have some serious condition. It's all part of the cycle. Be ready for cramping and/or stomach aches too. But if you really do think you have a problem, find a doctor or a trusted adult.\\nAlways keep an extra pair of shorts/trousers in your locker/bag just in case of an emergency.\\nIf you feel somewhat moody or emotional right before or during your period that is normal. It is called PMS.\\nWarnings\\nAround the time you enter middle school, start carrying around a few pads (tampons are not recommended for your first period, wait till it becomes regular) so that you won't be caught off guard.\\nIf you get some blood on your clothes or sheets, always use cold water not hot. Hot water can set the stain. Rub fresh stains with some salt, as it absorbs the blood. If you have hydrogen peroxide add it to the cold water and let it soak. It is best to do this when the stain is fresh.\\nAlways wash your hands before and after inserting a tampon or putting on a pad.\\nNever leave your tampon inside of you for more than 8 hours. If you leave it in longer than that you have a greater risk of catching Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), it is rare but sometimes deadly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sooner or later, the majority of teenagers get their period. Learn about how to be ready for your first period or just for your period in general!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out as much information as you can about your period.\", \"描述\": \"The library has many magazines and books, and websites and counselors will be happy to help you too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go on to pad/tampon websites because they might have free samples.\", \"描述\": \"You may need to ask your parents and they should be fine with it because after all, it's free! Also, do research. Most pad/tampon websites tell you about their products so learn which ones sound good. If you can, avoid buying pads or tampons until you have samples so that way, if they're crummy, you didn't waste any money on them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check online stores.\", \"描述\": \"Some do period starter kits! They come with little bits of everything so you can figure out what's easiest and most comfortable for you!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep at least one pad or tampon in all of your purses, book bags, locker, lunch bags, etc...\", \"描述\": \"because you or a friend could start and it isn't very fun to have blood-stained panties. Also, it can be useful to carry around a spare pair of panties just in case you are caught off guard.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get used to your cycle.\", \"描述\": \"When you are still irregular, it might help to wear pantyliners every day so if you start, it doesn't leak through anything. Mark a calendar so you can track your days but make it private. (Maybe, a little dot on the days in your calendar so it can be discrete and useful at the same time)\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use period panties that are meant for periods.\", \"描述\": \"Period panties are basically \\\"pad underwear\\\", so you can wear them alongside other sanitary supplies (or even by themselves if your flow is very light!) to protect your clothes from being stained.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Consider using a menstrual cup.\", \"描述\": \"They are silicone cups that you put into your vagina, and it catches the blood instead of absorbing it.\\nIt lasts longer than a tampon: about 8 hours.\\nIt's much cheaper in the long run: it costs about $50 and lasts for about 15 years.\\nAll you need to do is put it in, empty it when it's full, rinse it out and put it back in.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone you trust, such as an older sibling or a parent.\", \"描述\": \"They will tell you that there is nothing to be afraid of. Menstruation is a normal part of growing up.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember, when your period first starts, it is almost 100% that it will be irregular. Do not worry or think you have some serious condition. It's all part of the cycle. Be ready for cramping and/or stomach aches too. But if you really do think you have a problem, find a doctor or a trusted adult.\\n\", \"Always keep an extra pair of shorts/trousers in your locker/bag just in case of an emergency.\\n\", \"If you feel somewhat moody or emotional right before or during your period that is normal. It is called PMS.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Around the time you enter middle school, start carrying around a few pads (tampons are not recommended for your first period, wait till it becomes regular) so that you won't be caught off guard.\\n\", \"If you get some blood on your clothes or sheets, always use cold water not hot. Hot water can set the stain. Rub fresh stains with some salt, as it absorbs the blood. If you have hydrogen peroxide add it to the cold water and let it soak. It is best to do this when the stain is fresh.\\n\", \"Always wash your hands before and after inserting a tampon or putting on a pad.\\n\", \"Never leave your tampon inside of you for more than 8 hours. If you leave it in longer than that you have a greater risk of catching Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), it is rare but sometimes deadly.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,087 | How to Be Ready for an Autism Assessment | 1. Before the Assessment
1-1. Learn more about signs of autism.
Read the official DSM-V criteria, but also criteria written by autistic people, and articles that describe the criteria. Also consider consulting autistic bloggers, who can provide a picture of autism in daily life.
It helps to write down a general list so you remember.
You will be asked questions about things that relate to these criteria. Preparing the list will help you know what to expect.
1-2. Go through the list and think of anecdotes in your life relating to these criteria.
The psychologist may ask you to tell some brief stories to "prove" that the criteria apply to you. This way, you will have examples on hand, rather than becoming flustered and confused by a sudden question.
Example story (for stereotypy): "I recently saw a video of myself on my eighteenth birthday, when people surprised me with a cake. Everyone else was standing still, while I was rocking and swaying. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Then I learned about stimming and realized maybe I wasn't strange after all."
1-3. Write down anecdotes or observations about your life if you'd like.
While you won't be able to predict every question, it may help to prepare some scripted responses if you have a hard time speaking spontaneously.
Since the psychologist is an autism expert, they should be patient with your needs. It's not uncommon for autistic people to have trouble responding to questions, and your psychologist will understand that.
It is not disingenuous to write down your thoughts—in fact, it is very helpful, because the responses come from a time when you can collect your thoughts at your leisure.
If you may have trouble speaking, you can bring the prewritten responses to the assessment with you.
1-4. Take some online autism assessments.
While not official, these will help you identify autistic traits and gauge approximately where you are on the spectrum. These include the RAADS-R, the AQ, the Short Autism Screening, and other tests.
Don't just share your results: print out the questions and mark your responses on paper too. This can be a lot more meaningful to the specialist, because they can see why you might be autistic.
1-5. Deal with your fears and difficult feelings.
Many people feel nervous or anxious before an autism evaluation, whether they turn out to be autistic or not. Even people who have very obvious signs of autism may fear that nobody will take them seriously. This is completely normal. Common fears include things like:
"What if people say I'm just faking it for attention?"
"What if nobody believes me when I talk about my struggles?"
"What if people view me differently if I do get diagnosed?"
"What if people laugh at or criticize me?"
"What if my family refuses to accept the results?"
1-6. Take good care of yourself.
Spend time with your interests, listen to good music, and spend some time with a close friend or a pet. This will help you feel relaxed before the conversation.
Talk to a trusted loved one about your fears if needed.
1-7. Dress and choose comfort items appropriately.
Assume that an autism assessment will take several hours, up to half a day. There will be talking and filling out questionnaires. You should wear comfortable clothes, and bring any comfort items or self-calming tools you'd like. If you're prone to anxiety, be especially sure to bring items that help you self-soothe.
Dress for the weather. If it's hot out, bring a light sweater anyway, in case the air conditioning is cold.
It's okay if you "look weird." The specialist is used to autistic people, and it's okay to show your quirks.
2. During and After the Assessment
2-1. Talk to the psychologist about any fears you may have.
If you feel nervous, it's okay to say so. When you're with the specialist, it's time to be open and honest... and it can help to talk about your worries about the diagnosis process! Here are some examples of things you could say:
"My mom refuses to believe that anything is different with me, and I'm worried that if you say I'm autistic or something similar, she won't believe you."
"I've had bad experiences with therapy in the past, and I'm pretty nervous about this."
"All my life, I've had people tell me that I'm too sensitive and that I overreact to everything. When I learned about autism, I realized that maybe I wasn't a bad person. But I'm really scared that people will dismiss me and telling me that I'm overreacting like always. Will you promise to listen and take me seriously?"
2-2. Be yourself.
Here, it is okay to stim (rocking, flapping, etc.). You can dress how you'd like and act how you'd like.
2-3. Avoid hiding the parts of you that don't match up with autism stereotypes.
Many autistic people have learned to adapt to non-autistic expectations, and will have traits that are stereotypical of non-autistics, such as making hand gestures or being able to carry a two-sided conversation. Also, different autistic people experience the signs of autism in different ways, and you don't have to perfectly match the stereotypes in order to be autistic.
It is okay to say "No, I've never experienced that" if you have not experienced a certain part of autism. Every autistic person is different, and you're still valid if you don't check off every item on a list. Most autistic people don't.
2-4. Discuss the possibility of co-occurring conditions.
Autistic people may also have anxiety, depression, epilepsy, sensory processing disorder, anger issues, sleep disorders, and other mental or physical illnesses. Your psychologist may be able to screen you for those or refer you to someone who can.
2-5. Be open to being assessed for similar conditions.
Sometimes, people mistake conditions like ADHD, nonverbal learning disability, Reactive Attachment Disorder (in youth), schizoid PD, or social anxiety for autism. As the specialist talks with you, they may realize that something different fits you better.
There's nothing wrong with you if you mistake something else for autism. You haven't hurt autistic people in any way, nor are you "stupid" for not getting it right on the first try.
2-6. Speak up if you are worried that you may be getting misdiagnosed.
The specialist won't know what you are thinking unless you say something. If you have concerns, don't be afraid to say them out loud. Then the specialist can slow down and talk to you about what they're thinking, and you can ask questions and tell them what's on your mind.
If you're confused, just ask! For example, "I don't see how the diagnosis of ADHD would fit me. I'm not hyperactive at all. Could you explain your thinking?"
Be assertive if the specialist is rude to you. (It's rare, but it can happen.) Say "I don't feel like you're listening to me" or "Please take me seriously."
If you're getting stressed, say so. Say "This is stressful!" or "I need a break!" A good specialist will listen to your needs and help you wind down if needed.
2-7. Ask if you would be eligible for any sort of accommodations.
At public schools, higher level education, and workplaces, you may be able to receive accommodations to meet your special needs. The psychologist may be able to write a report recommending specific accommodations. Here are some examples of accommodations that autistic people tend to receive if needed:
A note-taker for lectures, extra time and a private room for exams, being allowed to bring fidgets to class, and access to a disability center
Working from home, a quiet working space, allowance for taking breaks, noise-canceling headphones and fidget tools, clear written instructions, mentorship, etc.
2-8. Take time to process the results.
Give yourself time to cope and adjust. Recognize that a diagnosis does not define who you are, nor does a lack of a diagnosis deny your experiences.
Recognize that occasionally, professionals can be wrong. For example, a specialist who only works with young autistic children might miss more subtle signs of autism in an adult.
2-9. Remember that you are a good person, no matter what the outcome is.
Autistic or not, you are still likable and can make a contribution to the world.
Tips
If you think you've been misdiagnosed, talk to the specialist or your family about it. Explain what happened, and why you feel that the result doesn't match your own experiences. One misdiagnosis isn't necessarily the end.
The assessment will just involve talking and filling out questionnaires, since there are no known biological markers for autism.
Warnings
Avoid searching for information from anti-autism organizations such as Autism Speaks, which can contain very negative language[8]
X
Trustworthy Source
Austistic Self Advocacy Network
Nonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy
Go to source
[9]
X
Research source
and spread inaccurate information.[10]
X
Research source
This does not reflect on you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Before the Assessment\\n1-1. Learn more about signs of autism.\\nRead the official DSM-V criteria, but also criteria written by autistic people, and articles that describe the criteria. Also consider consulting autistic bloggers, who can provide a picture of autism in daily life. \\nIt helps to write down a general list so you remember.\\nYou will be asked questions about things that relate to these criteria. Preparing the list will help you know what to expect.\\n1-2. Go through the list and think of anecdotes in your life relating to these criteria.\\nThe psychologist may ask you to tell some brief stories to \\\"prove\\\" that the criteria apply to you. This way, you will have examples on hand, rather than becoming flustered and confused by a sudden question. \\nExample story (for stereotypy): \\\"I recently saw a video of myself on my eighteenth birthday, when people surprised me with a cake. Everyone else was standing still, while I was rocking and swaying. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Then I learned about stimming and realized maybe I wasn't strange after all.\\\"\\n1-3. Write down anecdotes or observations about your life if you'd like.\\nWhile you won't be able to predict every question, it may help to prepare some scripted responses if you have a hard time speaking spontaneously. \\nSince the psychologist is an autism expert, they should be patient with your needs. It's not uncommon for autistic people to have trouble responding to questions, and your psychologist will understand that.\\nIt is not disingenuous to write down your thoughts—in fact, it is very helpful, because the responses come from a time when you can collect your thoughts at your leisure.\\nIf you may have trouble speaking, you can bring the prewritten responses to the assessment with you.\\n1-4. Take some online autism assessments.\\nWhile not official, these will help you identify autistic traits and gauge approximately where you are on the spectrum. These include the RAADS-R, the AQ, the Short Autism Screening, and other tests. \\nDon't just share your results: print out the questions and mark your responses on paper too. This can be a lot more meaningful to the specialist, because they can see why you might be autistic.\\n1-5. Deal with your fears and difficult feelings.\\nMany people feel nervous or anxious before an autism evaluation, whether they turn out to be autistic or not. Even people who have very obvious signs of autism may fear that nobody will take them seriously. This is completely normal. Common fears include things like: \\n\\\"What if people say I'm just faking it for attention?\\\"\\n\\\"What if nobody believes me when I talk about my struggles?\\\"\\n\\\"What if people view me differently if I do get diagnosed?\\\"\\n\\\"What if people laugh at or criticize me?\\\"\\n\\\"What if my family refuses to accept the results?\\\"\\n1-6. Take good care of yourself.\\nSpend time with your interests, listen to good music, and spend some time with a close friend or a pet. This will help you feel relaxed before the conversation. \\nTalk to a trusted loved one about your fears if needed.\\n1-7. Dress and choose comfort items appropriately.\\nAssume that an autism assessment will take several hours, up to half a day. There will be talking and filling out questionnaires. You should wear comfortable clothes, and bring any comfort items or self-calming tools you'd like. If you're prone to anxiety, be especially sure to bring items that help you self-soothe. \\nDress for the weather. If it's hot out, bring a light sweater anyway, in case the air conditioning is cold.\\nIt's okay if you \\\"look weird.\\\" The specialist is used to autistic people, and it's okay to show your quirks.\\n2. During and After the Assessment\\n2-1. Talk to the psychologist about any fears you may have.\\nIf you feel nervous, it's okay to say so. When you're with the specialist, it's time to be open and honest... and it can help to talk about your worries about the diagnosis process! Here are some examples of things you could say: \\n\\\"My mom refuses to believe that anything is different with me, and I'm worried that if you say I'm autistic or something similar, she won't believe you.\\\"\\n\\\"I've had bad experiences with therapy in the past, and I'm pretty nervous about this.\\\"\\n\\\"All my life, I've had people tell me that I'm too sensitive and that I overreact to everything. When I learned about autism, I realized that maybe I wasn't a bad person. But I'm really scared that people will dismiss me and telling me that I'm overreacting like always. Will you promise to listen and take me seriously?\\\"\\n2-2. Be yourself.\\nHere, it is okay to stim (rocking, flapping, etc.). You can dress how you'd like and act how you'd like.\\n2-3. Avoid hiding the parts of you that don't match up with autism stereotypes.\\nMany autistic people have learned to adapt to non-autistic expectations, and will have traits that are stereotypical of non-autistics, such as making hand gestures or being able to carry a two-sided conversation. Also, different autistic people experience the signs of autism in different ways, and you don't have to perfectly match the stereotypes in order to be autistic. \\nIt is okay to say \\\"No, I've never experienced that\\\" if you have not experienced a certain part of autism. Every autistic person is different, and you're still valid if you don't check off every item on a list. Most autistic people don't.\\n2-4. Discuss the possibility of co-occurring conditions.\\nAutistic people may also have anxiety, depression, epilepsy, sensory processing disorder, anger issues, sleep disorders, and other mental or physical illnesses. Your psychologist may be able to screen you for those or refer you to someone who can.\\n2-5. Be open to being assessed for similar conditions.\\nSometimes, people mistake conditions like ADHD, nonverbal learning disability, Reactive Attachment Disorder (in youth), schizoid PD, or social anxiety for autism. As the specialist talks with you, they may realize that something different fits you better. \\nThere's nothing wrong with you if you mistake something else for autism. You haven't hurt autistic people in any way, nor are you \\\"stupid\\\" for not getting it right on the first try.\\n2-6. Speak up if you are worried that you may be getting misdiagnosed.\\nThe specialist won't know what you are thinking unless you say something. If you have concerns, don't be afraid to say them out loud. Then the specialist can slow down and talk to you about what they're thinking, and you can ask questions and tell them what's on your mind. \\nIf you're confused, just ask! For example, \\\"I don't see how the diagnosis of ADHD would fit me. I'm not hyperactive at all. Could you explain your thinking?\\\"\\nBe assertive if the specialist is rude to you. (It's rare, but it can happen.) Say \\\"I don't feel like you're listening to me\\\" or \\\"Please take me seriously.\\\"\\nIf you're getting stressed, say so. Say \\\"This is stressful!\\\" or \\\"I need a break!\\\" A good specialist will listen to your needs and help you wind down if needed.\\n2-7. Ask if you would be eligible for any sort of accommodations.\\nAt public schools, higher level education, and workplaces, you may be able to receive accommodations to meet your special needs. The psychologist may be able to write a report recommending specific accommodations. Here are some examples of accommodations that autistic people tend to receive if needed: \\n\\n A note-taker for lectures, extra time and a private room for exams, being allowed to bring fidgets to class, and access to a disability center\\n\\n Working from home, a quiet working space, allowance for taking breaks, noise-canceling headphones and fidget tools, clear written instructions, mentorship, etc.\\n2-8. Take time to process the results.\\nGive yourself time to cope and adjust. Recognize that a diagnosis does not define who you are, nor does a lack of a diagnosis deny your experiences. \\nRecognize that occasionally, professionals can be wrong. For example, a specialist who only works with young autistic children might miss more subtle signs of autism in an adult.\\n2-9. Remember that you are a good person, no matter what the outcome is.\\nAutistic or not, you are still likable and can make a contribution to the world.\\nTips\\nIf you think you've been misdiagnosed, talk to the specialist or your family about it. Explain what happened, and why you feel that the result doesn't match your own experiences. One misdiagnosis isn't necessarily the end.\\nThe assessment will just involve talking and filling out questionnaires, since there are no known biological markers for autism.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid searching for information from anti-autism organizations such as Autism Speaks, which can contain very negative language[8]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nAustistic Self Advocacy Network\\nNonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy\\nGo to source\\n\\n[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n and spread inaccurate information.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n This does not reflect on you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So you've researched autism, discussed it with your family, and set up an appointment with a specialist. Now what? This article will help you prepare so that you can present an accurate and clear picture of where you are on the spectrum.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Before the Assessment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn more about signs of autism.\", \"描述\": \"Read the official DSM-V criteria, but also criteria written by autistic people, and articles that describe the criteria. Also consider consulting autistic bloggers, who can provide a picture of autism in daily life. \\nIt helps to write down a general list so you remember.\\nYou will be asked questions about things that relate to these criteria. Preparing the list will help you know what to expect.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go through the list and think of anecdotes in your life relating to these criteria.\", \"描述\": \"The psychologist may ask you to tell some brief stories to \\\"prove\\\" that the criteria apply to you. This way, you will have examples on hand, rather than becoming flustered and confused by a sudden question. \\nExample story (for stereotypy): \\\"I recently saw a video of myself on my eighteenth birthday, when people surprised me with a cake. Everyone else was standing still, while I was rocking and swaying. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Then I learned about stimming and realized maybe I wasn't strange after all.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down anecdotes or observations about your life if you'd like.\", \"描述\": \"While you won't be able to predict every question, it may help to prepare some scripted responses if you have a hard time speaking spontaneously. \\nSince the psychologist is an autism expert, they should be patient with your needs. It's not uncommon for autistic people to have trouble responding to questions, and your psychologist will understand that.\\nIt is not disingenuous to write down your thoughts—in fact, it is very helpful, because the responses come from a time when you can collect your thoughts at your leisure.\\nIf you may have trouble speaking, you can bring the prewritten responses to the assessment with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take some online autism assessments.\", \"描述\": \"While not official, these will help you identify autistic traits and gauge approximately where you are on the spectrum. These include the RAADS-R, the AQ, the Short Autism Screening, and other tests. \\nDon't just share your results: print out the questions and mark your responses on paper too. This can be a lot more meaningful to the specialist, because they can see why you might be autistic.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Deal with your fears and difficult feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Many people feel nervous or anxious before an autism evaluation, whether they turn out to be autistic or not. Even people who have very obvious signs of autism may fear that nobody will take them seriously. This is completely normal. Common fears include things like: \\n\\\"What if people say I'm just faking it for attention?\\\"\\n\\\"What if nobody believes me when I talk about my struggles?\\\"\\n\\\"What if people view me differently if I do get diagnosed?\\\"\\n\\\"What if people laugh at or criticize me?\\\"\\n\\\"What if my family refuses to accept the results?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take good care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Spend time with your interests, listen to good music, and spend some time with a close friend or a pet. This will help you feel relaxed before the conversation. \\nTalk to a trusted loved one about your fears if needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Dress and choose comfort items appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"Assume that an autism assessment will take several hours, up to half a day. There will be talking and filling out questionnaires. You should wear comfortable clothes, and bring any comfort items or self-calming tools you'd like. If you're prone to anxiety, be especially sure to bring items that help you self-soothe. \\nDress for the weather. If it's hot out, bring a light sweater anyway, in case the air conditioning is cold.\\nIt's okay if you \\\"look weird.\\\" The specialist is used to autistic people, and it's okay to show your quirks.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"During and After the Assessment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to the psychologist about any fears you may have.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel nervous, it's okay to say so. When you're with the specialist, it's time to be open and honest... and it can help to talk about your worries about the diagnosis process! Here are some examples of things you could say: \\n\\\"My mom refuses to believe that anything is different with me, and I'm worried that if you say I'm autistic or something similar, she won't believe you.\\\"\\n\\\"I've had bad experiences with therapy in the past, and I'm pretty nervous about this.\\\"\\n\\\"All my life, I've had people tell me that I'm too sensitive and that I overreact to everything. When I learned about autism, I realized that maybe I wasn't a bad person. But I'm really scared that people will dismiss me and telling me that I'm overreacting like always. Will you promise to listen and take me seriously?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Here, it is okay to stim (rocking, flapping, etc.). You can dress how you'd like and act how you'd like.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid hiding the parts of you that don't match up with autism stereotypes.\", \"描述\": \"Many autistic people have learned to adapt to non-autistic expectations, and will have traits that are stereotypical of non-autistics, such as making hand gestures or being able to carry a two-sided conversation. Also, different autistic people experience the signs of autism in different ways, and you don't have to perfectly match the stereotypes in order to be autistic. \\nIt is okay to say \\\"No, I've never experienced that\\\" if you have not experienced a certain part of autism. Every autistic person is different, and you're still valid if you don't check off every item on a list. Most autistic people don't.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Discuss the possibility of co-occurring conditions.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic people may also have anxiety, depression, epilepsy, sensory processing disorder, anger issues, sleep disorders, and other mental or physical illnesses. Your psychologist may be able to screen you for those or refer you to someone who can.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be open to being assessed for similar conditions.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, people mistake conditions like ADHD, nonverbal learning disability, Reactive Attachment Disorder (in youth), schizoid PD, or social anxiety for autism. As the specialist talks with you, they may realize that something different fits you better. \\nThere's nothing wrong with you if you mistake something else for autism. You haven't hurt autistic people in any way, nor are you \\\"stupid\\\" for not getting it right on the first try.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Speak up if you are worried that you may be getting misdiagnosed.\", \"描述\": \"The specialist won't know what you are thinking unless you say something. If you have concerns, don't be afraid to say them out loud. Then the specialist can slow down and talk to you about what they're thinking, and you can ask questions and tell them what's on your mind. \\nIf you're confused, just ask! For example, \\\"I don't see how the diagnosis of ADHD would fit me. I'm not hyperactive at all. Could you explain your thinking?\\\"\\nBe assertive if the specialist is rude to you. (It's rare, but it can happen.) Say \\\"I don't feel like you're listening to me\\\" or \\\"Please take me seriously.\\\"\\nIf you're getting stressed, say so. Say \\\"This is stressful!\\\" or \\\"I need a break!\\\" A good specialist will listen to your needs and help you wind down if needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask if you would be eligible for any sort of accommodations.\", \"描述\": \"At public schools, higher level education, and workplaces, you may be able to receive accommodations to meet your special needs. The psychologist may be able to write a report recommending specific accommodations. Here are some examples of accommodations that autistic people tend to receive if needed: \\n\\n A note-taker for lectures, extra time and a private room for exams, being allowed to bring fidgets to class, and access to a disability center\\n\\n Working from home, a quiet working space, allowance for taking breaks, noise-canceling headphones and fidget tools, clear written instructions, mentorship, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take time to process the results.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself time to cope and adjust. Recognize that a diagnosis does not define who you are, nor does a lack of a diagnosis deny your experiences. \\nRecognize that occasionally, professionals can be wrong. For example, a specialist who only works with young autistic children might miss more subtle signs of autism in an adult.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Remember that you are a good person, no matter what the outcome is.\", \"描述\": \"Autistic or not, you are still likable and can make a contribution to the world.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you think you've been misdiagnosed, talk to the specialist or your family about it. Explain what happened, and why you feel that the result doesn't match your own experiences. One misdiagnosis isn't necessarily the end.\\n\", \"The assessment will just involve talking and filling out questionnaires, since there are no known biological markers for autism.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid searching for information from anti-autism organizations such as Autism Speaks, which can contain very negative language[8]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nAustistic Self Advocacy Network\\nNonprofit organization run by and for individuals on the autism spectrum that empowers autistic people through education and public advocacy\\nGo to source\\n\\n[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n and spread inaccurate information.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n This does not reflect on you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,088 | How to Be Real | 1. Understanding Yourself
1-1. Understand what authenticity means.
Psychologists define authenticity as manifestation of a person's true self in their everyday lives. Basically, it means that your core self is reflected in what you believe, say, and do everyday. People who are real accept themselves and all of their strengths as well as their weaknesses. They behave in ways that align with their values and avoid behaviors that do not fit neatly with their values. At its core, authenticity is about being real and genuine.
The first step to being real begins when you actively decide to be genuine. This has to be a conscious decision. You will also have to commit to acting in accordance with who you are even though sometimes this will be challenging and you will feel vulnerable. Realness may require you to do things that will be unpopular with other people. You may also have to acknowledge aspects of yourself that are less favorable, but this is important because acknowledging what you value or do not value about yourself leads you to live an open, honest, and more real life.
Being real has benefits for your mental health. Research has shown that authentic people feel better about themselves and are more likely to show resilience in the face of personal challenges and less likely to engage in self-destructive coping mechanisms like alcohol abuse or other risky behavior. Authentic people also tend to demonstrate more purpose in their choices and are more goal-directed and committed to seeing things through to success.
1-2. Cultivate a commitment to be more self-aware.
The key to realness is self-knowledge and self-awareness. It's important that you take time to know yourself on a very deep level. Being real means living your own life, not the lives of others. Throughout our lives, and particularly our childhood, we pick up messages based on what other people and say and do and incorporate these into our own belief system. Eventually, we assume that these thoughts are our own. The project of becoming more self aware works to assess all of these beliefs and values and see which ones are really your own and which you've incorporated simply because you saw them reflected in others.
The benefit of self-awareness is that once you know your values, you can then determine your actions in order to ensure that these two things align. This is how you really become real. For instance, if you decide you believe in God, then perhaps going to church every Sunday is a way of affirming this belief and means something important to you. However, if you decide you don't believe or are unsure, maybe you stop formally attending church for a while as you figure things out.
Realize that self-awareness is a constant pursuit, not something that you can really master and then not think about again.
One way to practice increasing self-awareness is to frequently evaluate what you're feeling. You can set 5-10 random timers to go off throughout the day, to remind you to check-in with yourself.
Try to put your feelings into specific words. Are you simply sad, or are you feeling vulnerable? Are you happy, or are you feeling emotionally fulfilled?
1-3. Write to and about yourself.
To discover your true self, reflect on and write a list of everything that is important to you and what truly resonates in yourself. The process of choosing and writing words might help you clarify what exactly your inner values are.
Consider writing in a journal. A journal helps makes you more aware and also provides you with a direct means to look back on and reflect on the past. It can also help you track patterns or trends in your life.
If you have troubling journaling and find yourself "writing around" the big issues, you can also consider writing with a series of prompts, such as "Things I love" or "Who am I right now". Set a timer for 10 minutes and write about that topic for the duration of the timer. This exercise helps you focus in on what you're trying to discover about yourself.
You can also try an exercise where you fill out the rest of this sentence and either share it with a friend or keep it to yourself: "If you really knew me you’d know this: ___________." This exercise invites introspection and helps people boil down who they are to those most essential values and components.
1-4. Ask questions constantly.
Embark on a journey of curiosity and ask yourself questions to recenter yourself and decenter other people's views and scripts for your life. These questions and/or hypothetical situation can help you think about really matters as you develop your answers and provide the motivation needed to steer your life on its true course. Questions might include: If money didn't exist, what would you be doing with your life? If your house was on fire, what three things would you make sure to grab? What do you think you have to lose? What sets you apart from other people?
These questions can also be more direct. Try not to think too much but just to follow your intuition. For example, are you patient or impatient? An introvert or an extrovert? Do you take responsibility for your mistakes? Are you someone who says 'yes' or 'no'? Do you prefer mornings or nights?
Try reexamining some of your 'core beliefs' that you've had since childhood. Immersing yourself in other cultures, philosophies and religious thought can help you make a unique, informed decision about what is authentic for you.
1-5. Evaluate your self-talk.
Self-awareness means to listen to yourself. Think not only about what you say and do in the world, but also what you say to yourself. How do you talk to yourself? What's going on in your mind? Is a negative diatribe where you lament how you do things and criticize yourself for not being smarter, prettier, nicer, and the like? Or are you generous with yourself and try to focus on the positive and move forward from mistakes? Assessing how you talk to yourself internally will give you a sense of how you truly feel about yourself and your life course because it is that interior world that is your most real self.
Every day set aside a few minutes to sit quietly and listen to your inner voice. Try taking deep breathes and tapping into your mind and its thoughts. Alternatively, you could also stand in front of a mirror and "confront" yourself by talking out loud. Say everything that you think out loud.
1-6. Take a personality test.
Although each individual is undeniably unique, psychologists who study personality also belief that there are certain personality types that share characteristics in common. Knowing which personality type applies to you might help you understand why you think, feel, and act like you do.
Though there is no shortage of personality tests online and through social media, the best-known test is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which identifies four psychological scales: Extroversion-Introversion, Sensing-Intuition, Thinking-Feeling, and Judging-Perceiving. The test suggests that each person has a preference for one of the two sides of each scale.
It's important to note that personality tests, while interesting and useful to some extent, cannot fundamentally tell you who you are. Keep in mind that some have low statistical validity and reliability. Moreover, your identity is made up of much more than just four factors on a personality test, after all. However, such tests may give you some food for thought as you ponder and reflect on the results.
1-7. Become more aware of your feelings.
Our feelings and emotions are our spontaneous reactions to our life experiences and can provide useful information and feedback about ourselves and our place in the world. Not everyone likes tuning into or thinking about their feelings, but it is a useful exercise because it tells you what you like and dislike, what makes you happy, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, and so on. One thing you can do to try to be more aware of how you feel is to reflect on the physical manifestations of emotions. For example:
The feeling of butterflies in your stomach might signal nervousness or anxiety.
A heated feeling in your face might indicate embarrassment or anger.
Clenching your teeth or jaw might be a sign that you're upset, frustrated, or angry.
1-8. Do something for and with yourself.
Take a day off and go for a hike by yourself. Eat at a restaurant alone. Or, better yet, travel by yourself. Some people find that some alone time is the best way to learn about themselves. They learn about what they can and can't do and what they want and don't want and usually emerge from a temporary solitary experiment feeling stronger and more in tune with themselves. Maybe, for example, you discover that you really enjoy "getting lost" in cities and prefer wandering around as opposed to scheduled tours.
Sometimes it can seem in our modern world that to want to be alone is weird and unsettling. But some alone time can have several benefits; it can help you build your confidence, realize that you don't need the validation of others, learn to value your own opinions (as opposed to those of others) as well as invite opportunities to reflect on recent changes and "rearrange your mental furniture" to adjust to your changing life. Alone time can also help you home in on what exactly it is you want from life and give you that sense of purpose and direction so many of us crave.
2. Keeping It Real
2-1. Redefine your values.
Keep in mind that being real is a constantly evolving process. Life changes, and so will your values. You're not the same person at 30 years old as you were at 15. Over the years, you'll likely suffer from cognitive dissonance, a psychological term that refers to the stress or discomfort experienced when you hold contradictory beliefs or your beliefs and actions do not match, at some point(s). So you will constantly need to be learning about yourself, sorting through your beliefs and discarding what is no longer relevant and embracing what matters in the moment. Being real is a constant process of redefinition of yourself and who you want to be.
Maybe, for instance, when you were 13 years old, you wanted to be married and have children by 26 years old so you could be a young mom. However, if you're now 30 and neither married nor a parent, you may need to reevaluate that goal and belief. Maybe you decided that your education and career are your top priorities, or maybe you just didn't find the right partner. Or maybe your beliefs changed and you no longer believe in the institution of marriage. Reflecting on your life and your interior self (those thoughts and feelings from within) can help you redefine what it is you believe and your identity at different stages in your life.
Note that it's hard to be real at any age if you don't know what your fundamental desires, wants, needs, and values are! You have to be willing to realize that things change and, most importantly, that YOU change over time.
2-2. Foster an open mind.
Be open and expose yourself to new ideas and multiple perspectives on things. Binary (e.g., good-bad thinking) can trap you in a cycle of judgement and really limit to your ability to be your true self. Embrace life as a constant cycle of learning; as your opinions, ideas, and values change, so will your interior and real self.
Being open can mean different things. Read a book or take a class on a subject you don't know much about or even a subject you think you already have mastered. This can help you answer questions you have about the world around you and develop your own set of beliefs.
For example, a lot of university students undergo a transformation in their self-identity as they learn and are exposed to new things and are separated from their parents really for the first time. Learning is one way to open your eyes and discover what resonates with you. Maybe you have questions about religion, so you decide to take a university class on the different religions. Maybe you want to know about your position as a woman in the world and so you take an introductory class on women's studies.
Remember that maintaining a sense of curiosity about the world is one way in which to keep yourself excited and energized about life.
2-3. Let your past self go.
It can be comforting to assume that life - and by extension our own selves - stays the same over time. Although there may be elements of your identity (such as being creative or an extrovert) that are consistent across time, there's also a lot that changes and that can be scary and unsettling.
For example, maybe as a child you were taught not to support gay marriage, but now you feel conflicted because you've changed your perceptions as you matured. That's okay. Change is good. Change can be transformative. Let go of your past self and embrace your new self. Embrace who you are in the moment and what feels right to you NOW. It's scary, but that how you become your most real self.
2-4. Cultivate courage.
Being real means being courageous. Sometimes you make yourself vulnerable to the criticism of others if you go your own way and don't conform to who everyone expects you to be. Moreover, being more introspective may cause other shifts in your life that you need to be prepared for. For example, perhaps in the process of self-reflection, you realize that you are not happy in your current relationship and that you spend much of your time trying to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend who does all the expected and correct things. It takes strength and courage to fight against social pressures and the reactions of others.
Remember that you are always deserving of love and acceptance. You are who you are and if people can't love you for that, then perhaps they're not the right fit for your life.
To truly overcome your fears, try digging deeper into what might be fueling them. That way you can address the true problem. For instance, if you think you're afraid of success, maybe what you're really afraid of is trying and failing, or of not seeming as smart as people think you are.
Avoid shaming yourself. Becoming more self-aware means also realizing that you are an imperfect human and that you have flaws. But no one is perfect. Perhaps you are a control freak or bossy. Instead of shaming yourself, accept those imperfections and try to find ways to cope with and alleviate them. Also consider how those flaws can be thought of as positives in some situations; your control freak nature, for example, means that you are never late with assignments or meetings. Moreover, because you have flaws, this makes you better able to empathize when other people make errors. All of the different parts of yourself - flaws and all - make you who you are.
3. Being Real With Others
3-1. Don't go along with the crowd.
In all too many situations, we end up acting like everyone else or doing what everyone else is doing in order to fit in. This happens especially in high-pressure situations like a party where you don't know any one or a business meeting where you feel expected to impress. Usually our desire for social acceptance outweighs our desire to be our real selves. However, this defeats the practice of being real. At its core, being real means being yourself and saying and doing things that reflect who you are as a person.
Pretending to be someone or something your not just to fit in with others only promotes that sense of fakery that you're trying to fight against. Moreover, it's important to note that most people find they end up with more and closer friends when they are themselves and that they achieve more success when they stick to the things they like to do. You find truer satisfaction in your social circle and career when you fit those things to who you are not the other way around.
Peer pressure can be a very real and dangerous phenomenon. Remember there are many harmful things that people have done to themselves and to others (from smoking to bullying to genocide) simply because they cared so much about the opinions of others and felt that their reputations would be harmed if they didn't. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Remember that at the end of the day, only you have to live with yourself all the time. Listen to and follow your inner spirit.
3-2. Avoid surrounding yourself with toxic individuals.
Toxic people are those people who masquerade as "friends" who pressure you to do things you don't want to do (like drink alcohol, make fun of others, or skip out on work) or who make you feel guilty or shameful for who you are.
For example, if you have friends who make fun of you for wearing black all the time and for not dressing like a 'proper girl', this is not healthy for you. Your friends should make you feel positive about yourself and help make you your best self, not tear you down for not conforming.
3-3. Be willing to say 'no' - and sometimes 'yes' - to others.
When you don't want to do something that other people want to you to do because it challenges your values, you have to be willing to stand up for your beliefs. All of us have the natural urge to people-please, so it takes courage to say 'no' to others. Even though at first you may feel unsettled and a bit nervous to say 'no', you will eventually like the feeling of staying on track with your genuine self.
At the same time, you should also say 'yes' sometimes when other people invite you to try something new or unexpected. This also takes courage because we're all afraid of disappointing or failing other people. For example, maybe your friends invite you to try Ethiopian food or kayaking one weekend - go for it! Being real also means trying out new things and learning about yourself in different ways, even if you may fall or fail along the way. That's what makes us human.
3-4. Know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone.
All people want to be validated by others. We want others to feel proud of us and want to be connected to us. But you have nothing to prove; you don't have to show the people around you or the world in general that you are a good person who does good things. Similarly, you don't have to hide those flaws that make you human. Guess what, if you're late sometimes, chances are that other people have been late at some point in the past. Being real means not only accepting your own strengths and weaknesses but letting other people see those as well. Trust that if you can forgive and accept yourself, others will too.
It's exhausting to constantly pretend to be someone you're not for the benefit of others. Be real with people and they'll probably accept and embrace you to an even greater extent because they can see that you're just like them - a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but also does great things and has lots to offer. For example, maybe you have a tendency to be late, but you always insist on finishing a job before you leave the office.
3-5. Be a good communicator.
Be mindful of how you communicate with others and what and how you say things. Be honest with your thoughts and opinions but remember that you can be real without denigrating the thoughts and opinions of others, particularly in situations where you don't agree. Remember that what we want to say is only valuable and constructive if we can express it thoughtfully and well. It's usually best to use "I" statements that focus on your values and actions, rather than focusing others since "You" statements are often perceived as accusations.
For example, if you are a committed vegetarian, you can communicate your beliefs about it without having to call your meat-eating conversation partners "vicious murderers." Instead, let them know why YOU are a vegetarian, without condemning their own choice to eat meat. Being real means being true to yourself, but this doesn't mean that you shouldn't respect other people's own version of realness.
Always, always think before you speak. This is a good rule for life in general, but is especially useful in touchy or difficult situations.
3-6. Tell someone about your commitment to be real.
Designate someone close to you who you love and trust and who helps center you as a person. This might be a partner, a family member, or a close friend. Whenever you are entering into a situation where you might be vulnerable, such as a work meeting with your difficult boss, call on that social support to help bolster your confidence and avoid falling into the trap of inauthenticity.
When you're feeling anxious, call your designated person and let her know how you're feeling. For example, you might confess that you've actually been prepping what you think your boss wants to hear and not what you actually want to or should say. Just telling someone else that you've been going the wrong way can help you stay conscious of your behavior and readjust as needed to stay on the path of realness and honesty. In most cases, supportive people will tell you to "be yourself" in difficult situations. They're right. Listen to that advice.
3-7. Develop a power anthem or routine.
There are a lot of social situations where our nerves fail us and we feel like caving in our promises to ourselves. For those moments when you feel uncertain in the face of others or the world, such as going to a party or wedding where you don't know anyone or starting at a new school or job, get yourself pumped up and feeling good about yourself. Write of a few key words that you use to define yourself and repeat - or even yell! - them. Read one of your favorite, inspiring poems out loud. Make a playlist with a few of your favorite songs that inspire you to be you.
Whatever it is that you choose to do, make sure it helps you bring you back to yourself. Finding that focus will remind you who you are and what's important to you.
3-8. Accept the realness of others.
Remember to treat others as you wish to be treated. What is real for one person will be very different than what is real for another person. It is important to not assign value or judgement; after all, for each everyone of us, it is what it is. Everyone is different, and that's okay - and in fact, it's what makes the work exciting and dynamic!
Differences between people - whether they be sexual, spiritual, professional, physical, and so on - should not frighten us. Instead, accept honor the differences and realness of others and they will do the same for you.
Tips
Don't pretend to be someone else. Just be YOU. Everyone is special in some way or another; home in the particular traits that make you who you are and celebrate those.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Yourself\\n1-1. Understand what authenticity means.\\nPsychologists define authenticity as manifestation of a person's true self in their everyday lives. Basically, it means that your core self is reflected in what you believe, say, and do everyday. People who are real accept themselves and all of their strengths as well as their weaknesses. They behave in ways that align with their values and avoid behaviors that do not fit neatly with their values. At its core, authenticity is about being real and genuine.\\nThe first step to being real begins when you actively decide to be genuine. This has to be a conscious decision. You will also have to commit to acting in accordance with who you are even though sometimes this will be challenging and you will feel vulnerable. Realness may require you to do things that will be unpopular with other people. You may also have to acknowledge aspects of yourself that are less favorable, but this is important because acknowledging what you value or do not value about yourself leads you to live an open, honest, and more real life.\\nBeing real has benefits for your mental health. Research has shown that authentic people feel better about themselves and are more likely to show resilience in the face of personal challenges and less likely to engage in self-destructive coping mechanisms like alcohol abuse or other risky behavior. Authentic people also tend to demonstrate more purpose in their choices and are more goal-directed and committed to seeing things through to success.\\n1-2. Cultivate a commitment to be more self-aware.\\nThe key to realness is self-knowledge and self-awareness. It's important that you take time to know yourself on a very deep level. Being real means living your own life, not the lives of others. Throughout our lives, and particularly our childhood, we pick up messages based on what other people and say and do and incorporate these into our own belief system. Eventually, we assume that these thoughts are our own. The project of becoming more self aware works to assess all of these beliefs and values and see which ones are really your own and which you've incorporated simply because you saw them reflected in others.\\nThe benefit of self-awareness is that once you know your values, you can then determine your actions in order to ensure that these two things align. This is how you really become real. For instance, if you decide you believe in God, then perhaps going to church every Sunday is a way of affirming this belief and means something important to you. However, if you decide you don't believe or are unsure, maybe you stop formally attending church for a while as you figure things out.\\nRealize that self-awareness is a constant pursuit, not something that you can really master and then not think about again.\\nOne way to practice increasing self-awareness is to frequently evaluate what you're feeling. You can set 5-10 random timers to go off throughout the day, to remind you to check-in with yourself.\\nTry to put your feelings into specific words. Are you simply sad, or are you feeling vulnerable? Are you happy, or are you feeling emotionally fulfilled?\\n1-3. Write to and about yourself.\\nTo discover your true self, reflect on and write a list of everything that is important to you and what truly resonates in yourself. The process of choosing and writing words might help you clarify what exactly your inner values are.\\nConsider writing in a journal. A journal helps makes you more aware and also provides you with a direct means to look back on and reflect on the past. It can also help you track patterns or trends in your life.\\nIf you have troubling journaling and find yourself \\\"writing around\\\" the big issues, you can also consider writing with a series of prompts, such as \\\"Things I love\\\" or \\\"Who am I right now\\\". Set a timer for 10 minutes and write about that topic for the duration of the timer. This exercise helps you focus in on what you're trying to discover about yourself.\\nYou can also try an exercise where you fill out the rest of this sentence and either share it with a friend or keep it to yourself: \\\"If you really knew me you’d know this: ___________.\\\" This exercise invites introspection and helps people boil down who they are to those most essential values and components.\\n1-4. Ask questions constantly.\\nEmbark on a journey of curiosity and ask yourself questions to recenter yourself and decenter other people's views and scripts for your life. These questions and/or hypothetical situation can help you think about really matters as you develop your answers and provide the motivation needed to steer your life on its true course. Questions might include: If money didn't exist, what would you be doing with your life? If your house was on fire, what three things would you make sure to grab? What do you think you have to lose? What sets you apart from other people?\\nThese questions can also be more direct. Try not to think too much but just to follow your intuition. For example, are you patient or impatient? An introvert or an extrovert? Do you take responsibility for your mistakes? Are you someone who says 'yes' or 'no'? Do you prefer mornings or nights?\\nTry reexamining some of your 'core beliefs' that you've had since childhood. Immersing yourself in other cultures, philosophies and religious thought can help you make a unique, informed decision about what is authentic for you.\\n1-5. Evaluate your self-talk.\\nSelf-awareness means to listen to yourself. Think not only about what you say and do in the world, but also what you say to yourself. How do you talk to yourself? What's going on in your mind? Is a negative diatribe where you lament how you do things and criticize yourself for not being smarter, prettier, nicer, and the like? Or are you generous with yourself and try to focus on the positive and move forward from mistakes? Assessing how you talk to yourself internally will give you a sense of how you truly feel about yourself and your life course because it is that interior world that is your most real self.\\nEvery day set aside a few minutes to sit quietly and listen to your inner voice. Try taking deep breathes and tapping into your mind and its thoughts. Alternatively, you could also stand in front of a mirror and \\\"confront\\\" yourself by talking out loud. Say everything that you think out loud.\\n1-6. Take a personality test.\\nAlthough each individual is undeniably unique, psychologists who study personality also belief that there are certain personality types that share characteristics in common. Knowing which personality type applies to you might help you understand why you think, feel, and act like you do.\\nThough there is no shortage of personality tests online and through social media, the best-known test is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which identifies four psychological scales: Extroversion-Introversion, Sensing-Intuition, Thinking-Feeling, and Judging-Perceiving. The test suggests that each person has a preference for one of the two sides of each scale.\\nIt's important to note that personality tests, while interesting and useful to some extent, cannot fundamentally tell you who you are. Keep in mind that some have low statistical validity and reliability. Moreover, your identity is made up of much more than just four factors on a personality test, after all. However, such tests may give you some food for thought as you ponder and reflect on the results.\\n1-7. Become more aware of your feelings.\\nOur feelings and emotions are our spontaneous reactions to our life experiences and can provide useful information and feedback about ourselves and our place in the world. Not everyone likes tuning into or thinking about their feelings, but it is a useful exercise because it tells you what you like and dislike, what makes you happy, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, and so on. One thing you can do to try to be more aware of how you feel is to reflect on the physical manifestations of emotions. For example:\\nThe feeling of butterflies in your stomach might signal nervousness or anxiety.\\nA heated feeling in your face might indicate embarrassment or anger.\\nClenching your teeth or jaw might be a sign that you're upset, frustrated, or angry.\\n1-8. Do something for and with yourself.\\nTake a day off and go for a hike by yourself. Eat at a restaurant alone. Or, better yet, travel by yourself. Some people find that some alone time is the best way to learn about themselves. They learn about what they can and can't do and what they want and don't want and usually emerge from a temporary solitary experiment feeling stronger and more in tune with themselves. Maybe, for example, you discover that you really enjoy \\\"getting lost\\\" in cities and prefer wandering around as opposed to scheduled tours.\\nSometimes it can seem in our modern world that to want to be alone is weird and unsettling. But some alone time can have several benefits; it can help you build your confidence, realize that you don't need the validation of others, learn to value your own opinions (as opposed to those of others) as well as invite opportunities to reflect on recent changes and \\\"rearrange your mental furniture\\\" to adjust to your changing life. Alone time can also help you home in on what exactly it is you want from life and give you that sense of purpose and direction so many of us crave.\\n2. Keeping It Real\\n2-1. Redefine your values.\\nKeep in mind that being real is a constantly evolving process. Life changes, and so will your values. You're not the same person at 30 years old as you were at 15. Over the years, you'll likely suffer from cognitive dissonance, a psychological term that refers to the stress or discomfort experienced when you hold contradictory beliefs or your beliefs and actions do not match, at some point(s). So you will constantly need to be learning about yourself, sorting through your beliefs and discarding what is no longer relevant and embracing what matters in the moment. Being real is a constant process of redefinition of yourself and who you want to be.\\nMaybe, for instance, when you were 13 years old, you wanted to be married and have children by 26 years old so you could be a young mom. However, if you're now 30 and neither married nor a parent, you may need to reevaluate that goal and belief. Maybe you decided that your education and career are your top priorities, or maybe you just didn't find the right partner. Or maybe your beliefs changed and you no longer believe in the institution of marriage. Reflecting on your life and your interior self (those thoughts and feelings from within) can help you redefine what it is you believe and your identity at different stages in your life.\\nNote that it's hard to be real at any age if you don't know what your fundamental desires, wants, needs, and values are! You have to be willing to realize that things change and, most importantly, that YOU change over time.\\n2-2. Foster an open mind.\\nBe open and expose yourself to new ideas and multiple perspectives on things. Binary (e.g., good-bad thinking) can trap you in a cycle of judgement and really limit to your ability to be your true self. Embrace life as a constant cycle of learning; as your opinions, ideas, and values change, so will your interior and real self.\\nBeing open can mean different things. Read a book or take a class on a subject you don't know much about or even a subject you think you already have mastered. This can help you answer questions you have about the world around you and develop your own set of beliefs.\\nFor example, a lot of university students undergo a transformation in their self-identity as they learn and are exposed to new things and are separated from their parents really for the first time. Learning is one way to open your eyes and discover what resonates with you. Maybe you have questions about religion, so you decide to take a university class on the different religions. Maybe you want to know about your position as a woman in the world and so you take an introductory class on women's studies.\\nRemember that maintaining a sense of curiosity about the world is one way in which to keep yourself excited and energized about life.\\n2-3. Let your past self go.\\nIt can be comforting to assume that life - and by extension our own selves - stays the same over time. Although there may be elements of your identity (such as being creative or an extrovert) that are consistent across time, there's also a lot that changes and that can be scary and unsettling.\\nFor example, maybe as a child you were taught not to support gay marriage, but now you feel conflicted because you've changed your perceptions as you matured. That's okay. Change is good. Change can be transformative. Let go of your past self and embrace your new self. Embrace who you are in the moment and what feels right to you NOW. It's scary, but that how you become your most real self.\\n2-4. Cultivate courage.\\nBeing real means being courageous. Sometimes you make yourself vulnerable to the criticism of others if you go your own way and don't conform to who everyone expects you to be. Moreover, being more introspective may cause other shifts in your life that you need to be prepared for. For example, perhaps in the process of self-reflection, you realize that you are not happy in your current relationship and that you spend much of your time trying to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend who does all the expected and correct things. It takes strength and courage to fight against social pressures and the reactions of others.\\nRemember that you are always deserving of love and acceptance. You are who you are and if people can't love you for that, then perhaps they're not the right fit for your life.\\nTo truly overcome your fears, try digging deeper into what might be fueling them. That way you can address the true problem. For instance, if you think you're afraid of success, maybe what you're really afraid of is trying and failing, or of not seeming as smart as people think you are.\\nAvoid shaming yourself. Becoming more self-aware means also realizing that you are an imperfect human and that you have flaws. But no one is perfect. Perhaps you are a control freak or bossy. Instead of shaming yourself, accept those imperfections and try to find ways to cope with and alleviate them. Also consider how those flaws can be thought of as positives in some situations; your control freak nature, for example, means that you are never late with assignments or meetings. Moreover, because you have flaws, this makes you better able to empathize when other people make errors. All of the different parts of yourself - flaws and all - make you who you are.\\n3. Being Real With Others\\n3-1. Don't go along with the crowd.\\nIn all too many situations, we end up acting like everyone else or doing what everyone else is doing in order to fit in. This happens especially in high-pressure situations like a party where you don't know any one or a business meeting where you feel expected to impress. Usually our desire for social acceptance outweighs our desire to be our real selves. However, this defeats the practice of being real. At its core, being real means being yourself and saying and doing things that reflect who you are as a person.\\nPretending to be someone or something your not just to fit in with others only promotes that sense of fakery that you're trying to fight against. Moreover, it's important to note that most people find they end up with more and closer friends when they are themselves and that they achieve more success when they stick to the things they like to do. You find truer satisfaction in your social circle and career when you fit those things to who you are not the other way around.\\nPeer pressure can be a very real and dangerous phenomenon. Remember there are many harmful things that people have done to themselves and to others (from smoking to bullying to genocide) simply because they cared so much about the opinions of others and felt that their reputations would be harmed if they didn't. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Remember that at the end of the day, only you have to live with yourself all the time. Listen to and follow your inner spirit.\\n3-2. Avoid surrounding yourself with toxic individuals.\\nToxic people are those people who masquerade as \\\"friends\\\" who pressure you to do things you don't want to do (like drink alcohol, make fun of others, or skip out on work) or who make you feel guilty or shameful for who you are.\\nFor example, if you have friends who make fun of you for wearing black all the time and for not dressing like a 'proper girl', this is not healthy for you. Your friends should make you feel positive about yourself and help make you your best self, not tear you down for not conforming.\\n3-3. Be willing to say 'no' - and sometimes 'yes' - to others.\\nWhen you don't want to do something that other people want to you to do because it challenges your values, you have to be willing to stand up for your beliefs. All of us have the natural urge to people-please, so it takes courage to say 'no' to others. Even though at first you may feel unsettled and a bit nervous to say 'no', you will eventually like the feeling of staying on track with your genuine self.\\nAt the same time, you should also say 'yes' sometimes when other people invite you to try something new or unexpected. This also takes courage because we're all afraid of disappointing or failing other people. For example, maybe your friends invite you to try Ethiopian food or kayaking one weekend - go for it! Being real also means trying out new things and learning about yourself in different ways, even if you may fall or fail along the way. That's what makes us human.\\n3-4. Know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone.\\nAll people want to be validated by others. We want others to feel proud of us and want to be connected to us. But you have nothing to prove; you don't have to show the people around you or the world in general that you are a good person who does good things. Similarly, you don't have to hide those flaws that make you human. Guess what, if you're late sometimes, chances are that other people have been late at some point in the past. Being real means not only accepting your own strengths and weaknesses but letting other people see those as well. Trust that if you can forgive and accept yourself, others will too.\\nIt's exhausting to constantly pretend to be someone you're not for the benefit of others. Be real with people and they'll probably accept and embrace you to an even greater extent because they can see that you're just like them - a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but also does great things and has lots to offer. For example, maybe you have a tendency to be late, but you always insist on finishing a job before you leave the office.\\n3-5. Be a good communicator.\\nBe mindful of how you communicate with others and what and how you say things. Be honest with your thoughts and opinions but remember that you can be real without denigrating the thoughts and opinions of others, particularly in situations where you don't agree. Remember that what we want to say is only valuable and constructive if we can express it thoughtfully and well. It's usually best to use \\\"I\\\" statements that focus on your values and actions, rather than focusing others since \\\"You\\\" statements are often perceived as accusations.\\nFor example, if you are a committed vegetarian, you can communicate your beliefs about it without having to call your meat-eating conversation partners \\\"vicious murderers.\\\" Instead, let them know why YOU are a vegetarian, without condemning their own choice to eat meat. Being real means being true to yourself, but this doesn't mean that you shouldn't respect other people's own version of realness.\\nAlways, always think before you speak. This is a good rule for life in general, but is especially useful in touchy or difficult situations.\\n3-6. Tell someone about your commitment to be real.\\nDesignate someone close to you who you love and trust and who helps center you as a person. This might be a partner, a family member, or a close friend. Whenever you are entering into a situation where you might be vulnerable, such as a work meeting with your difficult boss, call on that social support to help bolster your confidence and avoid falling into the trap of inauthenticity.\\nWhen you're feeling anxious, call your designated person and let her know how you're feeling. For example, you might confess that you've actually been prepping what you think your boss wants to hear and not what you actually want to or should say. Just telling someone else that you've been going the wrong way can help you stay conscious of your behavior and readjust as needed to stay on the path of realness and honesty. In most cases, supportive people will tell you to \\\"be yourself\\\" in difficult situations. They're right. Listen to that advice.\\n3-7. Develop a power anthem or routine.\\nThere are a lot of social situations where our nerves fail us and we feel like caving in our promises to ourselves. For those moments when you feel uncertain in the face of others or the world, such as going to a party or wedding where you don't know anyone or starting at a new school or job, get yourself pumped up and feeling good about yourself. Write of a few key words that you use to define yourself and repeat - or even yell! - them. Read one of your favorite, inspiring poems out loud. Make a playlist with a few of your favorite songs that inspire you to be you.\\nWhatever it is that you choose to do, make sure it helps you bring you back to yourself. Finding that focus will remind you who you are and what's important to you.\\n3-8. Accept the realness of others.\\nRemember to treat others as you wish to be treated. What is real for one person will be very different than what is real for another person. It is important to not assign value or judgement; after all, for each everyone of us, it is what it is. Everyone is different, and that's okay - and in fact, it's what makes the work exciting and dynamic!\\nDifferences between people - whether they be sexual, spiritual, professional, physical, and so on - should not frighten us. Instead, accept honor the differences and realness of others and they will do the same for you.\\nTips\\nDon't pretend to be someone else. Just be YOU. Everyone is special in some way or another; home in the particular traits that make you who you are and celebrate those.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The word \\\"authenticity\\\" is the new buzzword. Everything from jeans to potato chips to historical tours is given the label \\\"authentic,\\\" which really just means real. But there is something behind the concept of authenticity, or realness. In our busy, very superficial world, there's a lot of fakery, deception, and contrived perfection; we're all trying to live up to certain images and ideals and in the process lose something of our \\\"true selves.\\\" But it is possible to be true to yourself and the people around you and in the process celebrate those messy, real, and authentic parts of yourself that make you who you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what authenticity means.\", \"描述\": \"Psychologists define authenticity as manifestation of a person's true self in their everyday lives. Basically, it means that your core self is reflected in what you believe, say, and do everyday. People who are real accept themselves and all of their strengths as well as their weaknesses. They behave in ways that align with their values and avoid behaviors that do not fit neatly with their values. At its core, authenticity is about being real and genuine.\\nThe first step to being real begins when you actively decide to be genuine. This has to be a conscious decision. You will also have to commit to acting in accordance with who you are even though sometimes this will be challenging and you will feel vulnerable. Realness may require you to do things that will be unpopular with other people. You may also have to acknowledge aspects of yourself that are less favorable, but this is important because acknowledging what you value or do not value about yourself leads you to live an open, honest, and more real life.\\nBeing real has benefits for your mental health. Research has shown that authentic people feel better about themselves and are more likely to show resilience in the face of personal challenges and less likely to engage in self-destructive coping mechanisms like alcohol abuse or other risky behavior. Authentic people also tend to demonstrate more purpose in their choices and are more goal-directed and committed to seeing things through to success.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cultivate a commitment to be more self-aware.\", \"描述\": \"The key to realness is self-knowledge and self-awareness. It's important that you take time to know yourself on a very deep level. Being real means living your own life, not the lives of others. Throughout our lives, and particularly our childhood, we pick up messages based on what other people and say and do and incorporate these into our own belief system. Eventually, we assume that these thoughts are our own. The project of becoming more self aware works to assess all of these beliefs and values and see which ones are really your own and which you've incorporated simply because you saw them reflected in others.\\nThe benefit of self-awareness is that once you know your values, you can then determine your actions in order to ensure that these two things align. This is how you really become real. For instance, if you decide you believe in God, then perhaps going to church every Sunday is a way of affirming this belief and means something important to you. However, if you decide you don't believe or are unsure, maybe you stop formally attending church for a while as you figure things out.\\nRealize that self-awareness is a constant pursuit, not something that you can really master and then not think about again.\\nOne way to practice increasing self-awareness is to frequently evaluate what you're feeling. You can set 5-10 random timers to go off throughout the day, to remind you to check-in with yourself.\\nTry to put your feelings into specific words. Are you simply sad, or are you feeling vulnerable? Are you happy, or are you feeling emotionally fulfilled?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write to and about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"To discover your true self, reflect on and write a list of everything that is important to you and what truly resonates in yourself. The process of choosing and writing words might help you clarify what exactly your inner values are.\\nConsider writing in a journal. A journal helps makes you more aware and also provides you with a direct means to look back on and reflect on the past. It can also help you track patterns or trends in your life.\\nIf you have troubling journaling and find yourself \\\"writing around\\\" the big issues, you can also consider writing with a series of prompts, such as \\\"Things I love\\\" or \\\"Who am I right now\\\". Set a timer for 10 minutes and write about that topic for the duration of the timer. This exercise helps you focus in on what you're trying to discover about yourself.\\nYou can also try an exercise where you fill out the rest of this sentence and either share it with a friend or keep it to yourself: \\\"If you really knew me you’d know this: ___________.\\\" This exercise invites introspection and helps people boil down who they are to those most essential values and components.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask questions constantly.\", \"描述\": \"Embark on a journey of curiosity and ask yourself questions to recenter yourself and decenter other people's views and scripts for your life. These questions and/or hypothetical situation can help you think about really matters as you develop your answers and provide the motivation needed to steer your life on its true course. Questions might include: If money didn't exist, what would you be doing with your life? If your house was on fire, what three things would you make sure to grab? What do you think you have to lose? What sets you apart from other people?\\nThese questions can also be more direct. Try not to think too much but just to follow your intuition. For example, are you patient or impatient? An introvert or an extrovert? Do you take responsibility for your mistakes? Are you someone who says 'yes' or 'no'? Do you prefer mornings or nights?\\nTry reexamining some of your 'core beliefs' that you've had since childhood. Immersing yourself in other cultures, philosophies and religious thought can help you make a unique, informed decision about what is authentic for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Evaluate your self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"Self-awareness means to listen to yourself. Think not only about what you say and do in the world, but also what you say to yourself. How do you talk to yourself? What's going on in your mind? Is a negative diatribe where you lament how you do things and criticize yourself for not being smarter, prettier, nicer, and the like? Or are you generous with yourself and try to focus on the positive and move forward from mistakes? Assessing how you talk to yourself internally will give you a sense of how you truly feel about yourself and your life course because it is that interior world that is your most real self.\\nEvery day set aside a few minutes to sit quietly and listen to your inner voice. Try taking deep breathes and tapping into your mind and its thoughts. Alternatively, you could also stand in front of a mirror and \\\"confront\\\" yourself by talking out loud. Say everything that you think out loud.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take a personality test.\", \"描述\": \"Although each individual is undeniably unique, psychologists who study personality also belief that there are certain personality types that share characteristics in common. Knowing which personality type applies to you might help you understand why you think, feel, and act like you do.\\nThough there is no shortage of personality tests online and through social media, the best-known test is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which identifies four psychological scales: Extroversion-Introversion, Sensing-Intuition, Thinking-Feeling, and Judging-Perceiving. The test suggests that each person has a preference for one of the two sides of each scale.\\nIt's important to note that personality tests, while interesting and useful to some extent, cannot fundamentally tell you who you are. Keep in mind that some have low statistical validity and reliability. Moreover, your identity is made up of much more than just four factors on a personality test, after all. However, such tests may give you some food for thought as you ponder and reflect on the results.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Become more aware of your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Our feelings and emotions are our spontaneous reactions to our life experiences and can provide useful information and feedback about ourselves and our place in the world. Not everyone likes tuning into or thinking about their feelings, but it is a useful exercise because it tells you what you like and dislike, what makes you happy, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, and so on. One thing you can do to try to be more aware of how you feel is to reflect on the physical manifestations of emotions. For example:\\nThe feeling of butterflies in your stomach might signal nervousness or anxiety.\\nA heated feeling in your face might indicate embarrassment or anger.\\nClenching your teeth or jaw might be a sign that you're upset, frustrated, or angry.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do something for and with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Take a day off and go for a hike by yourself. Eat at a restaurant alone. Or, better yet, travel by yourself. Some people find that some alone time is the best way to learn about themselves. They learn about what they can and can't do and what they want and don't want and usually emerge from a temporary solitary experiment feeling stronger and more in tune with themselves. Maybe, for example, you discover that you really enjoy \\\"getting lost\\\" in cities and prefer wandering around as opposed to scheduled tours.\\nSometimes it can seem in our modern world that to want to be alone is weird and unsettling. But some alone time can have several benefits; it can help you build your confidence, realize that you don't need the validation of others, learn to value your own opinions (as opposed to those of others) as well as invite opportunities to reflect on recent changes and \\\"rearrange your mental furniture\\\" to adjust to your changing life. Alone time can also help you home in on what exactly it is you want from life and give you that sense of purpose and direction so many of us crave.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping It Real\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Redefine your values.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that being real is a constantly evolving process. Life changes, and so will your values. You're not the same person at 30 years old as you were at 15. Over the years, you'll likely suffer from cognitive dissonance, a psychological term that refers to the stress or discomfort experienced when you hold contradictory beliefs or your beliefs and actions do not match, at some point(s). So you will constantly need to be learning about yourself, sorting through your beliefs and discarding what is no longer relevant and embracing what matters in the moment. Being real is a constant process of redefinition of yourself and who you want to be.\\nMaybe, for instance, when you were 13 years old, you wanted to be married and have children by 26 years old so you could be a young mom. However, if you're now 30 and neither married nor a parent, you may need to reevaluate that goal and belief. Maybe you decided that your education and career are your top priorities, or maybe you just didn't find the right partner. Or maybe your beliefs changed and you no longer believe in the institution of marriage. Reflecting on your life and your interior self (those thoughts and feelings from within) can help you redefine what it is you believe and your identity at different stages in your life.\\nNote that it's hard to be real at any age if you don't know what your fundamental desires, wants, needs, and values are! You have to be willing to realize that things change and, most importantly, that YOU change over time.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Foster an open mind.\", \"描述\": \"Be open and expose yourself to new ideas and multiple perspectives on things. Binary (e.g., good-bad thinking) can trap you in a cycle of judgement and really limit to your ability to be your true self. Embrace life as a constant cycle of learning; as your opinions, ideas, and values change, so will your interior and real self.\\nBeing open can mean different things. Read a book or take a class on a subject you don't know much about or even a subject you think you already have mastered. This can help you answer questions you have about the world around you and develop your own set of beliefs.\\nFor example, a lot of university students undergo a transformation in their self-identity as they learn and are exposed to new things and are separated from their parents really for the first time. Learning is one way to open your eyes and discover what resonates with you. Maybe you have questions about religion, so you decide to take a university class on the different religions. Maybe you want to know about your position as a woman in the world and so you take an introductory class on women's studies.\\nRemember that maintaining a sense of curiosity about the world is one way in which to keep yourself excited and energized about life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let your past self go.\", \"描述\": \"It can be comforting to assume that life - and by extension our own selves - stays the same over time. Although there may be elements of your identity (such as being creative or an extrovert) that are consistent across time, there's also a lot that changes and that can be scary and unsettling.\\nFor example, maybe as a child you were taught not to support gay marriage, but now you feel conflicted because you've changed your perceptions as you matured. That's okay. Change is good. Change can be transformative. Let go of your past self and embrace your new self. Embrace who you are in the moment and what feels right to you NOW. It's scary, but that how you become your most real self.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Cultivate courage.\", \"描述\": \"Being real means being courageous. Sometimes you make yourself vulnerable to the criticism of others if you go your own way and don't conform to who everyone expects you to be. Moreover, being more introspective may cause other shifts in your life that you need to be prepared for. For example, perhaps in the process of self-reflection, you realize that you are not happy in your current relationship and that you spend much of your time trying to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend who does all the expected and correct things. It takes strength and courage to fight against social pressures and the reactions of others.\\nRemember that you are always deserving of love and acceptance. You are who you are and if people can't love you for that, then perhaps they're not the right fit for your life.\\nTo truly overcome your fears, try digging deeper into what might be fueling them. That way you can address the true problem. For instance, if you think you're afraid of success, maybe what you're really afraid of is trying and failing, or of not seeming as smart as people think you are.\\nAvoid shaming yourself. Becoming more self-aware means also realizing that you are an imperfect human and that you have flaws. But no one is perfect. Perhaps you are a control freak or bossy. Instead of shaming yourself, accept those imperfections and try to find ways to cope with and alleviate them. Also consider how those flaws can be thought of as positives in some situations; your control freak nature, for example, means that you are never late with assignments or meetings. Moreover, because you have flaws, this makes you better able to empathize when other people make errors. All of the different parts of yourself - flaws and all - make you who you are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Real With Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't go along with the crowd.\", \"描述\": \"In all too many situations, we end up acting like everyone else or doing what everyone else is doing in order to fit in. This happens especially in high-pressure situations like a party where you don't know any one or a business meeting where you feel expected to impress. Usually our desire for social acceptance outweighs our desire to be our real selves. However, this defeats the practice of being real. At its core, being real means being yourself and saying and doing things that reflect who you are as a person.\\nPretending to be someone or something your not just to fit in with others only promotes that sense of fakery that you're trying to fight against. Moreover, it's important to note that most people find they end up with more and closer friends when they are themselves and that they achieve more success when they stick to the things they like to do. You find truer satisfaction in your social circle and career when you fit those things to who you are not the other way around.\\nPeer pressure can be a very real and dangerous phenomenon. Remember there are many harmful things that people have done to themselves and to others (from smoking to bullying to genocide) simply because they cared so much about the opinions of others and felt that their reputations would be harmed if they didn't. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Remember that at the end of the day, only you have to live with yourself all the time. Listen to and follow your inner spirit.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid surrounding yourself with toxic individuals.\", \"描述\": \"Toxic people are those people who masquerade as \\\"friends\\\" who pressure you to do things you don't want to do (like drink alcohol, make fun of others, or skip out on work) or who make you feel guilty or shameful for who you are.\\nFor example, if you have friends who make fun of you for wearing black all the time and for not dressing like a 'proper girl', this is not healthy for you. Your friends should make you feel positive about yourself and help make you your best self, not tear you down for not conforming.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be willing to say 'no' - and sometimes 'yes' - to others.\", \"描述\": \"When you don't want to do something that other people want to you to do because it challenges your values, you have to be willing to stand up for your beliefs. All of us have the natural urge to people-please, so it takes courage to say 'no' to others. Even though at first you may feel unsettled and a bit nervous to say 'no', you will eventually like the feeling of staying on track with your genuine self.\\nAt the same time, you should also say 'yes' sometimes when other people invite you to try something new or unexpected. This also takes courage because we're all afraid of disappointing or failing other people. For example, maybe your friends invite you to try Ethiopian food or kayaking one weekend - go for it! Being real also means trying out new things and learning about yourself in different ways, even if you may fall or fail along the way. That's what makes us human.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone.\", \"描述\": \"All people want to be validated by others. We want others to feel proud of us and want to be connected to us. But you have nothing to prove; you don't have to show the people around you or the world in general that you are a good person who does good things. Similarly, you don't have to hide those flaws that make you human. Guess what, if you're late sometimes, chances are that other people have been late at some point in the past. Being real means not only accepting your own strengths and weaknesses but letting other people see those as well. Trust that if you can forgive and accept yourself, others will too.\\nIt's exhausting to constantly pretend to be someone you're not for the benefit of others. Be real with people and they'll probably accept and embrace you to an even greater extent because they can see that you're just like them - a normal human being who makes mistakes sometimes but also does great things and has lots to offer. For example, maybe you have a tendency to be late, but you always insist on finishing a job before you leave the office.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be a good communicator.\", \"描述\": \"Be mindful of how you communicate with others and what and how you say things. Be honest with your thoughts and opinions but remember that you can be real without denigrating the thoughts and opinions of others, particularly in situations where you don't agree. Remember that what we want to say is only valuable and constructive if we can express it thoughtfully and well. It's usually best to use \\\"I\\\" statements that focus on your values and actions, rather than focusing others since \\\"You\\\" statements are often perceived as accusations.\\nFor example, if you are a committed vegetarian, you can communicate your beliefs about it without having to call your meat-eating conversation partners \\\"vicious murderers.\\\" Instead, let them know why YOU are a vegetarian, without condemning their own choice to eat meat. Being real means being true to yourself, but this doesn't mean that you shouldn't respect other people's own version of realness.\\nAlways, always think before you speak. This is a good rule for life in general, but is especially useful in touchy or difficult situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell someone about your commitment to be real.\", \"描述\": \"Designate someone close to you who you love and trust and who helps center you as a person. This might be a partner, a family member, or a close friend. Whenever you are entering into a situation where you might be vulnerable, such as a work meeting with your difficult boss, call on that social support to help bolster your confidence and avoid falling into the trap of inauthenticity.\\nWhen you're feeling anxious, call your designated person and let her know how you're feeling. For example, you might confess that you've actually been prepping what you think your boss wants to hear and not what you actually want to or should say. Just telling someone else that you've been going the wrong way can help you stay conscious of your behavior and readjust as needed to stay on the path of realness and honesty. In most cases, supportive people will tell you to \\\"be yourself\\\" in difficult situations. They're right. Listen to that advice.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Develop a power anthem or routine.\", \"描述\": \"There are a lot of social situations where our nerves fail us and we feel like caving in our promises to ourselves. For those moments when you feel uncertain in the face of others or the world, such as going to a party or wedding where you don't know anyone or starting at a new school or job, get yourself pumped up and feeling good about yourself. Write of a few key words that you use to define yourself and repeat - or even yell! - them. Read one of your favorite, inspiring poems out loud. Make a playlist with a few of your favorite songs that inspire you to be you.\\nWhatever it is that you choose to do, make sure it helps you bring you back to yourself. Finding that focus will remind you who you are and what's important to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Accept the realness of others.\", \"描述\": \"Remember to treat others as you wish to be treated. What is real for one person will be very different than what is real for another person. It is important to not assign value or judgement; after all, for each everyone of us, it is what it is. Everyone is different, and that's okay - and in fact, it's what makes the work exciting and dynamic!\\nDifferences between people - whether they be sexual, spiritual, professional, physical, and so on - should not frighten us. Instead, accept honor the differences and realness of others and they will do the same for you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't pretend to be someone else. Just be YOU. Everyone is special in some way or another; home in the particular traits that make you who you are and celebrate those.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,089 | How to Be Really Sexy with Your Boyfriend | 1. Be Yourself
1-1. Know your limits.
While being sexy can help add spice to your relationship, it's important to know when you've had enough. Here are some signs that you should cut back:
If you're feeling sad or depressed. There will be days when you ask your boyfriend for a hankie instead of some hanky-panky. If you're feeling so upset that you can barely function, know that it's okay to put sexy time on hold. If your boyfriend knows and loves you, he'll understand.
If you're just not in the mood. There will be days when nothing you do will make you have that lovin' feeling, and that's okay too. Forced sexiness is worse than taking a time out for "me time" instead of "sexy time."
If his actions make you feel uncomfortable. If you think he's taking your romance too far, it's time to back off. If you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable a lot, then it may be time to end the relationship.
1-2. Know your man's limits.
Though it may seem impossible that there will be a time when your boyfriend isn't in the mood, accept that he's human and may not be feeling so sexy. Here are some signs that he may not be in the mood for your sexy moves:
If he's tired or sick. If he looks physically unable to have sexy time, chances are, he doesn't want it. If he'd rather hit the hay instead of have a roll in the hay, don't force him to do anything he doesn't want. He may feel guilty for not being up for your advances, which will only make everyone feel worse.
If he's stressed out. Though sex can be a stress reliever, if your man is so worried about his new job that he can't focus on you, give him some alone time.
2. Act Sexy
2-1. Be bold
Bold and sexy are close cousins. You can't be sexy if you're afraid try do anything wild or out of your comfort zone. To be sexy with your boyfriend, you can try being bold in the following ways:
If you're talking to him on the phone, surprise him with casual dirty talk. He'll be surprised--and turned on--by your sudden sexy mood.
Take risks. Try an adventurous food, go sky diving, or go mountain climbing. This will make you a more open--and more sexy--person.
Be open about what you want. If you're really in the mood for something, telling him what you crave. He'll respect you for sharing your true feelings and will be turned on in the process.
Be bold, but know when to strike. Surprising your boyfriend with something sexy is a plus, but trying to get it on when he has a bad cold or just isn't in the mood is a big no no. Before you go in for the kill, ask yourself if your boyfriend is really in the mood for what you have to offer.
2-2. Be spontaneous
Some of the most sexy times you have with your boyfriend will be totally unplanned. Leave room for sexiness any time in your life, even if you're just having an ordinary dinner or watching a television show. Here are some ways to be spontaneously sexy:
If you're feeling sexy, take the initiative. Even if you're not in the middle of a sexy activity, let your man know by kissing or touching him in a subtle way. And if subtlety fails, try for some dirty talk to let him know what's on the table. He'll be more than just pleasantly surprised.
When he comes home from work, turn off all the lights, pull the shades, and lay naked on his desk. When he turns the lights on he will get a real surprise. However, do not do this unless you plan on further sexual activities. A guy is not going to be surprised by a naked girlfriend on his desk and then just walk away to read the newspaper.
Surprise him in public. Though you don't have to go for it in the back of your car or some untoward place, a special touch or kiss at the right time can show him that you're ready for more. And if you're isolated and not offending anyone, you make time for romance.
Remember that a good soldier is always prepared for battle. Be ready for sexy time--any time. Try to keep your legs shaved, your skin washed, and your breath nice and minty as often as you can so you'll be ready to get it on.
2-3. Remind him of how sexy you are when he's not around.
You can be sexy with your boyfriend even when he's on the other side of the country. If you two are sexy while he's away, he'll be even more eager to return. Here are some ways to keep it sexy when he's far away:
If he is out of town, arrange a video chat with him. At some point during your conversation start doing a striptease. Don't take off too much too soon. Keep it a tease.
Send him sexy--but tasteful--text messages at night.
Give him a sexy picture to take with him, so he can be reminded of what he's missing.
2-4. Show off your sexy body.
Even when you're not in the bedroom, your boyfriend should be thinking of what your body has to offer. Here are some ways to be sexy without having sex:
Walk in a sexy way that emphasizes your derrière or your cleavage.
Take him hiking or do another physical activity where you can really strut your stuff. He'll feel sexy just by looking at your body.
Dancing can be very erotic. Perhaps learn to belly dance or strip tease; this type of dancing will give you sexy poise and irresistible body confidence.
2-5. Have sexy food.
There's a reason that "food" rhymes with "nude." The right meal can go a long way in helping you be sexy with your boyfriend.
Bake for him. Make your boyfriend something sweet like a cake, a muffin, or cookies, and then feed it to him in the nude. Your nudity will no doubt lead to further activities.
Give him chocolate. Kiss him while putting it into his mouth. Afterward, simply walk away without saying anything. He will surely follow.
2-6. Tell him how sexy he is.
Don't be so busy acting sexy that you forget that your man is sexy, too. Reinforce this by simply telling him exactly how sexy or manly he is.
2-7. Leave him wanting more.
Don't throw your appetizer, main course, and dessert on the table at once or your boyfriend will have a stomach ache. Instead, be subtle with your sexiness without throwing it all on the table. Here are some ways to leave him wanting more:
Don't move right into sex after a makeout session. Let him linger over your body so his passion builds.
Don't have sex with him every time he wants to--unless you're in the mood, of course. Instead, be sexy when you're feeling right.
3. Look Sexy
3-1. Have a sexy face.
In spite of what you may think, your face really is the first thing your boyfriend notices, so keep up a sexy appearance and the rest will follow.
If you feel comfortable wearing makeup, put on just enough to give your eyes a smoky look and your lips a nice luscious tint.
Give your boyfriend sexy glances. Just the look in your eyes can let him know how you really feel about him.
3-2. Wear underwear that makes you feel and look sexy.
Knowing that you have it on can make you feel sexy, or showing your man a hint of what you have planned for later can make him excited for the rest of your night. Some sexy items include:
A thong, lacy underwear, a push up bra, pearls, a corset, knee-high socks, or spandex.
Avoid any uncomfortable fabrics that can lead to chafing, which is the opposite of sexy.
3-3. Keep it simple.
You don't need to always wear designer thongs or teddies. As long as you wear something out of the norm that shows more skin, your man will think it's sexy that you're wearing it for his benefit.
Don't wear anything so elaborate that it will be impossible to remove. This may lead to frustration and other mishaps in the bedroom.
3-4. Look provocative--not trashy.
If your clothes are revealing more than they're hiding, your boyfriend will be embarrassed to be seen with you instead of turned on.
Make sure your dresses and skirts are like a good story--short enough to keep things interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
It's good to show a little cleavage, but not so much that most of your chest is exposed.
Showing a little bit of bra strap can be sexy, but exposing your entire bra is too much.
You can wear jeans with heels for your first date.
Pair a blouse with trendy jeans and wear a heel.
Romantic patterns like soft florals or sensual fabrics like lace or sheer can enhance the look.
3-5. Have sexy feet and hands.
Care for your other extremities so your man will be even more excited by you.
Take care of your hands and fingernails so your man will be turned on when he holds them.
Keep your feet nice and fresh so you smell sexy in the bedroom.
4. Think Sexy
4-1. Love your looks.
If you think you look sexy, your boyfriend will think so, too. Instead of asking him for reinforcement about your looks, be proud to show off your beautiful face and body.
Pick at least three attributes you love about yourself, and show 'em off. If you love your legs, wear a shorter skirt, and if you think your arms are to die for, expose them in the perfect tank top.
Have fun with your body. Dance in front of the mirror to your favorite song, and you'll see how much fun it is to inhabit your body.
Be healthy. Eating right and exercising can have a positive impact on the way you think about yourself. Exercise can also be an opportunity to do something sexy with your boyfriend, like taking salsa lessons.
Pay attention to the way you talk about your body. If you're wearing a new dress, instead of asking your boyfriend, "Do I look okay in this?" tell him, "Don't I look fabulous in this?" He'll be turned on by your love for your looks.
4-2. Be confident
There's nothing sexier than showing your man how confident you are. Instead of spending time telling you that you're amazing, he'll be busy loving your natural ease with yourself, which will make you look even more sexy. Here are some ways to be confident:
Be aware of the things that make you a beautiful, unique, and talented individual. When you're having doubts, remind yourself of these qualities. It may even help to write them down.
Be confident--to a point. Part of confidence is accepting that you are a flawed individual. You're already awesome, but there's always room for improvement. Your boyfriend will be impressed not only by your confidence, but by how comfortable you are in admitting you're not perfect.
Tips
Turn on some music to set the mood. Compile a playlist and play it during your encounter.
Food is also an aphrodisiac: whipped cream, melted chocolate, wine, strawberries, etc. Feed these to him in any manner you feel is appropriate.
If you and your boyfriend are at school, make time for each other. If you have anything sexy to feed him, feed him in a sexy manner.
Warnings
Don't rush him and don't let him rush you.
Understand that some of the things above (waiting for him naked, etc) are for people that are in a comfortable and sexual relationship. If you've only ever pecked on the lips, don't try that (yet).
Never do anything you would feel uncomfortable doing. If he gets the wrong idea, he might want to take it further than you intended.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be Yourself\\n1-1. Know your limits.\\nWhile being sexy can help add spice to your relationship, it's important to know when you've had enough. Here are some signs that you should cut back:\\nIf you're feeling sad or depressed. There will be days when you ask your boyfriend for a hankie instead of some hanky-panky. If you're feeling so upset that you can barely function, know that it's okay to put sexy time on hold. If your boyfriend knows and loves you, he'll understand.\\nIf you're just not in the mood. There will be days when nothing you do will make you have that lovin' feeling, and that's okay too. Forced sexiness is worse than taking a time out for \\\"me time\\\" instead of \\\"sexy time.\\\"\\nIf his actions make you feel uncomfortable. If you think he's taking your romance too far, it's time to back off. If you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable a lot, then it may be time to end the relationship.\\n1-2. Know your man's limits.\\nThough it may seem impossible that there will be a time when your boyfriend isn't in the mood, accept that he's human and may not be feeling so sexy. Here are some signs that he may not be in the mood for your sexy moves:\\nIf he's tired or sick. If he looks physically unable to have sexy time, chances are, he doesn't want it. If he'd rather hit the hay instead of have a roll in the hay, don't force him to do anything he doesn't want. He may feel guilty for not being up for your advances, which will only make everyone feel worse.\\nIf he's stressed out. Though sex can be a stress reliever, if your man is so worried about his new job that he can't focus on you, give him some alone time.\\n2. Act Sexy\\n2-1. Be bold\\nBold and sexy are close cousins. You can't be sexy if you're afraid try do anything wild or out of your comfort zone. To be sexy with your boyfriend, you can try being bold in the following ways:\\nIf you're talking to him on the phone, surprise him with casual dirty talk. He'll be surprised--and turned on--by your sudden sexy mood.\\nTake risks. Try an adventurous food, go sky diving, or go mountain climbing. This will make you a more open--and more sexy--person.\\nBe open about what you want. If you're really in the mood for something, telling him what you crave. He'll respect you for sharing your true feelings and will be turned on in the process.\\nBe bold, but know when to strike. Surprising your boyfriend with something sexy is a plus, but trying to get it on when he has a bad cold or just isn't in the mood is a big no no. Before you go in for the kill, ask yourself if your boyfriend is really in the mood for what you have to offer.\\n2-2. Be spontaneous\\nSome of the most sexy times you have with your boyfriend will be totally unplanned. Leave room for sexiness any time in your life, even if you're just having an ordinary dinner or watching a television show. Here are some ways to be spontaneously sexy:\\nIf you're feeling sexy, take the initiative. Even if you're not in the middle of a sexy activity, let your man know by kissing or touching him in a subtle way. And if subtlety fails, try for some dirty talk to let him know what's on the table. He'll be more than just pleasantly surprised.\\nWhen he comes home from work, turn off all the lights, pull the shades, and lay naked on his desk. When he turns the lights on he will get a real surprise. However, do not do this unless you plan on further sexual activities. A guy is not going to be surprised by a naked girlfriend on his desk and then just walk away to read the newspaper.\\nSurprise him in public. Though you don't have to go for it in the back of your car or some untoward place, a special touch or kiss at the right time can show him that you're ready for more. And if you're isolated and not offending anyone, you make time for romance.\\nRemember that a good soldier is always prepared for battle. Be ready for sexy time--any time. Try to keep your legs shaved, your skin washed, and your breath nice and minty as often as you can so you'll be ready to get it on.\\n2-3. Remind him of how sexy you are when he's not around.\\nYou can be sexy with your boyfriend even when he's on the other side of the country. If you two are sexy while he's away, he'll be even more eager to return. Here are some ways to keep it sexy when he's far away:\\nIf he is out of town, arrange a video chat with him. At some point during your conversation start doing a striptease. Don't take off too much too soon. Keep it a tease.\\nSend him sexy--but tasteful--text messages at night.\\nGive him a sexy picture to take with him, so he can be reminded of what he's missing.\\n2-4. Show off your sexy body.\\nEven when you're not in the bedroom, your boyfriend should be thinking of what your body has to offer. Here are some ways to be sexy without having sex:\\nWalk in a sexy way that emphasizes your derrière or your cleavage.\\nTake him hiking or do another physical activity where you can really strut your stuff. He'll feel sexy just by looking at your body.\\nDancing can be very erotic. Perhaps learn to belly dance or strip tease; this type of dancing will give you sexy poise and irresistible body confidence.\\n2-5. Have sexy food.\\nThere's a reason that \\\"food\\\" rhymes with \\\"nude.\\\" The right meal can go a long way in helping you be sexy with your boyfriend.\\nBake for him. Make your boyfriend something sweet like a cake, a muffin, or cookies, and then feed it to him in the nude. Your nudity will no doubt lead to further activities.\\nGive him chocolate. Kiss him while putting it into his mouth. Afterward, simply walk away without saying anything. He will surely follow.\\n2-6. Tell him how sexy he is.\\nDon't be so busy acting sexy that you forget that your man is sexy, too. Reinforce this by simply telling him exactly how sexy or manly he is.\\n2-7. Leave him wanting more.\\nDon't throw your appetizer, main course, and dessert on the table at once or your boyfriend will have a stomach ache. Instead, be subtle with your sexiness without throwing it all on the table. Here are some ways to leave him wanting more:\\nDon't move right into sex after a makeout session. Let him linger over your body so his passion builds.\\nDon't have sex with him every time he wants to--unless you're in the mood, of course. Instead, be sexy when you're feeling right.\\n3. Look Sexy\\n3-1. Have a sexy face.\\nIn spite of what you may think, your face really is the first thing your boyfriend notices, so keep up a sexy appearance and the rest will follow.\\nIf you feel comfortable wearing makeup, put on just enough to give your eyes a smoky look and your lips a nice luscious tint.\\nGive your boyfriend sexy glances. Just the look in your eyes can let him know how you really feel about him.\\n3-2. Wear underwear that makes you feel and look sexy.\\nKnowing that you have it on can make you feel sexy, or showing your man a hint of what you have planned for later can make him excited for the rest of your night. Some sexy items include:\\nA thong, lacy underwear, a push up bra, pearls, a corset, knee-high socks, or spandex.\\nAvoid any uncomfortable fabrics that can lead to chafing, which is the opposite of sexy.\\n3-3. Keep it simple.\\nYou don't need to always wear designer thongs or teddies. As long as you wear something out of the norm that shows more skin, your man will think it's sexy that you're wearing it for his benefit.\\nDon't wear anything so elaborate that it will be impossible to remove. This may lead to frustration and other mishaps in the bedroom.\\n3-4. Look provocative--not trashy.\\nIf your clothes are revealing more than they're hiding, your boyfriend will be embarrassed to be seen with you instead of turned on.\\nMake sure your dresses and skirts are like a good story--short enough to keep things interesting, but long enough to cover everything.\\nIt's good to show a little cleavage, but not so much that most of your chest is exposed.\\nShowing a little bit of bra strap can be sexy, but exposing your entire bra is too much.\\nYou can wear jeans with heels for your first date.\\nPair a blouse with trendy jeans and wear a heel.\\nRomantic patterns like soft florals or sensual fabrics like lace or sheer can enhance the look.\\n3-5. Have sexy feet and hands.\\nCare for your other extremities so your man will be even more excited by you.\\nTake care of your hands and fingernails so your man will be turned on when he holds them.\\nKeep your feet nice and fresh so you smell sexy in the bedroom.\\n4. Think Sexy\\n4-1. Love your looks.\\nIf you think you look sexy, your boyfriend will think so, too. Instead of asking him for reinforcement about your looks, be proud to show off your beautiful face and body.\\nPick at least three attributes you love about yourself, and show 'em off. If you love your legs, wear a shorter skirt, and if you think your arms are to die for, expose them in the perfect tank top.\\nHave fun with your body. Dance in front of the mirror to your favorite song, and you'll see how much fun it is to inhabit your body.\\nBe healthy. Eating right and exercising can have a positive impact on the way you think about yourself. Exercise can also be an opportunity to do something sexy with your boyfriend, like taking salsa lessons.\\nPay attention to the way you talk about your body. If you're wearing a new dress, instead of asking your boyfriend, \\\"Do I look okay in this?\\\" tell him, \\\"Don't I look fabulous in this?\\\" He'll be turned on by your love for your looks.\\n4-2. Be confident\\nThere's nothing sexier than showing your man how confident you are. Instead of spending time telling you that you're amazing, he'll be busy loving your natural ease with yourself, which will make you look even more sexy. Here are some ways to be confident:\\nBe aware of the things that make you a beautiful, unique, and talented individual. When you're having doubts, remind yourself of these qualities. It may even help to write them down.\\nBe confident--to a point. Part of confidence is accepting that you are a flawed individual. You're already awesome, but there's always room for improvement. Your boyfriend will be impressed not only by your confidence, but by how comfortable you are in admitting you're not perfect.\\nTips\\nTurn on some music to set the mood. Compile a playlist and play it during your encounter.\\nFood is also an aphrodisiac: whipped cream, melted chocolate, wine, strawberries, etc. Feed these to him in any manner you feel is appropriate.\\nIf you and your boyfriend are at school, make time for each other. If you have anything sexy to feed him, feed him in a sexy manner.\\nWarnings\\nDon't rush him and don't let him rush you.\\nUnderstand that some of the things above (waiting for him naked, etc) are for people that are in a comfortable and sexual relationship. If you've only ever pecked on the lips, don't try that (yet).\\nNever do anything you would feel uncomfortable doing. If he gets the wrong idea, he might want to take it further than you intended.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Wanting to kick things up a notch and be extra sexy for your boyfriend? Being sexy isn't hard once you know what men really like, and we've got all the juicy details. Keep reading for all kinds of steamy, sexy moves that no man can resist. Give these a whirl the next time you're with your boyfriend, and he won't be able to keep his hands off of you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know your limits.\", \"描述\": \"While being sexy can help add spice to your relationship, it's important to know when you've had enough. Here are some signs that you should cut back:\\nIf you're feeling sad or depressed. There will be days when you ask your boyfriend for a hankie instead of some hanky-panky. If you're feeling so upset that you can barely function, know that it's okay to put sexy time on hold. If your boyfriend knows and loves you, he'll understand.\\nIf you're just not in the mood. There will be days when nothing you do will make you have that lovin' feeling, and that's okay too. Forced sexiness is worse than taking a time out for \\\"me time\\\" instead of \\\"sexy time.\\\"\\nIf his actions make you feel uncomfortable. If you think he's taking your romance too far, it's time to back off. If you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable a lot, then it may be time to end the relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know your man's limits.\", \"描述\": \"Though it may seem impossible that there will be a time when your boyfriend isn't in the mood, accept that he's human and may not be feeling so sexy. Here are some signs that he may not be in the mood for your sexy moves:\\nIf he's tired or sick. If he looks physically unable to have sexy time, chances are, he doesn't want it. If he'd rather hit the hay instead of have a roll in the hay, don't force him to do anything he doesn't want. He may feel guilty for not being up for your advances, which will only make everyone feel worse.\\nIf he's stressed out. Though sex can be a stress reliever, if your man is so worried about his new job that he can't focus on you, give him some alone time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Act Sexy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be bold\", \"描述\": \"Bold and sexy are close cousins. You can't be sexy if you're afraid try do anything wild or out of your comfort zone. To be sexy with your boyfriend, you can try being bold in the following ways:\\nIf you're talking to him on the phone, surprise him with casual dirty talk. He'll be surprised--and turned on--by your sudden sexy mood.\\nTake risks. Try an adventurous food, go sky diving, or go mountain climbing. This will make you a more open--and more sexy--person.\\nBe open about what you want. If you're really in the mood for something, telling him what you crave. He'll respect you for sharing your true feelings and will be turned on in the process.\\nBe bold, but know when to strike. Surprising your boyfriend with something sexy is a plus, but trying to get it on when he has a bad cold or just isn't in the mood is a big no no. Before you go in for the kill, ask yourself if your boyfriend is really in the mood for what you have to offer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be spontaneous\", \"描述\": \"Some of the most sexy times you have with your boyfriend will be totally unplanned. Leave room for sexiness any time in your life, even if you're just having an ordinary dinner or watching a television show. Here are some ways to be spontaneously sexy:\\nIf you're feeling sexy, take the initiative. Even if you're not in the middle of a sexy activity, let your man know by kissing or touching him in a subtle way. And if subtlety fails, try for some dirty talk to let him know what's on the table. He'll be more than just pleasantly surprised.\\nWhen he comes home from work, turn off all the lights, pull the shades, and lay naked on his desk. When he turns the lights on he will get a real surprise. However, do not do this unless you plan on further sexual activities. A guy is not going to be surprised by a naked girlfriend on his desk and then just walk away to read the newspaper.\\nSurprise him in public. Though you don't have to go for it in the back of your car or some untoward place, a special touch or kiss at the right time can show him that you're ready for more. And if you're isolated and not offending anyone, you make time for romance.\\nRemember that a good soldier is always prepared for battle. Be ready for sexy time--any time. Try to keep your legs shaved, your skin washed, and your breath nice and minty as often as you can so you'll be ready to get it on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remind him of how sexy you are when he's not around.\", \"描述\": \"You can be sexy with your boyfriend even when he's on the other side of the country. If you two are sexy while he's away, he'll be even more eager to return. Here are some ways to keep it sexy when he's far away:\\nIf he is out of town, arrange a video chat with him. At some point during your conversation start doing a striptease. Don't take off too much too soon. Keep it a tease.\\nSend him sexy--but tasteful--text messages at night.\\nGive him a sexy picture to take with him, so he can be reminded of what he's missing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show off your sexy body.\", \"描述\": \"Even when you're not in the bedroom, your boyfriend should be thinking of what your body has to offer. Here are some ways to be sexy without having sex:\\nWalk in a sexy way that emphasizes your derrière or your cleavage.\\nTake him hiking or do another physical activity where you can really strut your stuff. He'll feel sexy just by looking at your body.\\nDancing can be very erotic. Perhaps learn to belly dance or strip tease; this type of dancing will give you sexy poise and irresistible body confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have sexy food.\", \"描述\": \"There's a reason that \\\"food\\\" rhymes with \\\"nude.\\\" The right meal can go a long way in helping you be sexy with your boyfriend.\\nBake for him. Make your boyfriend something sweet like a cake, a muffin, or cookies, and then feed it to him in the nude. Your nudity will no doubt lead to further activities.\\nGive him chocolate. Kiss him while putting it into his mouth. Afterward, simply walk away without saying anything. He will surely follow.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell him how sexy he is.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be so busy acting sexy that you forget that your man is sexy, too. Reinforce this by simply telling him exactly how sexy or manly he is.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Leave him wanting more.\", \"描述\": \"Don't throw your appetizer, main course, and dessert on the table at once or your boyfriend will have a stomach ache. Instead, be subtle with your sexiness without throwing it all on the table. Here are some ways to leave him wanting more:\\nDon't move right into sex after a makeout session. Let him linger over your body so his passion builds.\\nDon't have sex with him every time he wants to--unless you're in the mood, of course. Instead, be sexy when you're feeling right.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look Sexy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a sexy face.\", \"描述\": \"In spite of what you may think, your face really is the first thing your boyfriend notices, so keep up a sexy appearance and the rest will follow.\\nIf you feel comfortable wearing makeup, put on just enough to give your eyes a smoky look and your lips a nice luscious tint.\\nGive your boyfriend sexy glances. Just the look in your eyes can let him know how you really feel about him.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear underwear that makes you feel and look sexy.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing that you have it on can make you feel sexy, or showing your man a hint of what you have planned for later can make him excited for the rest of your night. Some sexy items include:\\nA thong, lacy underwear, a push up bra, pearls, a corset, knee-high socks, or spandex.\\nAvoid any uncomfortable fabrics that can lead to chafing, which is the opposite of sexy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to always wear designer thongs or teddies. As long as you wear something out of the norm that shows more skin, your man will think it's sexy that you're wearing it for his benefit.\\nDon't wear anything so elaborate that it will be impossible to remove. This may lead to frustration and other mishaps in the bedroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look provocative--not trashy.\", \"描述\": \"If your clothes are revealing more than they're hiding, your boyfriend will be embarrassed to be seen with you instead of turned on.\\nMake sure your dresses and skirts are like a good story--short enough to keep things interesting, but long enough to cover everything.\\nIt's good to show a little cleavage, but not so much that most of your chest is exposed.\\nShowing a little bit of bra strap can be sexy, but exposing your entire bra is too much.\\nYou can wear jeans with heels for your first date.\\nPair a blouse with trendy jeans and wear a heel.\\nRomantic patterns like soft florals or sensual fabrics like lace or sheer can enhance the look.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have sexy feet and hands.\", \"描述\": \"Care for your other extremities so your man will be even more excited by you.\\nTake care of your hands and fingernails so your man will be turned on when he holds them.\\nKeep your feet nice and fresh so you smell sexy in the bedroom.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think Sexy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Love your looks.\", \"描述\": \"If you think you look sexy, your boyfriend will think so, too. Instead of asking him for reinforcement about your looks, be proud to show off your beautiful face and body.\\nPick at least three attributes you love about yourself, and show 'em off. If you love your legs, wear a shorter skirt, and if you think your arms are to die for, expose them in the perfect tank top.\\nHave fun with your body. Dance in front of the mirror to your favorite song, and you'll see how much fun it is to inhabit your body.\\nBe healthy. Eating right and exercising can have a positive impact on the way you think about yourself. Exercise can also be an opportunity to do something sexy with your boyfriend, like taking salsa lessons.\\nPay attention to the way you talk about your body. If you're wearing a new dress, instead of asking your boyfriend, \\\"Do I look okay in this?\\\" tell him, \\\"Don't I look fabulous in this?\\\" He'll be turned on by your love for your looks.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"There's nothing sexier than showing your man how confident you are. Instead of spending time telling you that you're amazing, he'll be busy loving your natural ease with yourself, which will make you look even more sexy. Here are some ways to be confident:\\nBe aware of the things that make you a beautiful, unique, and talented individual. When you're having doubts, remind yourself of these qualities. It may even help to write them down.\\nBe confident--to a point. Part of confidence is accepting that you are a flawed individual. You're already awesome, but there's always room for improvement. Your boyfriend will be impressed not only by your confidence, but by how comfortable you are in admitting you're not perfect.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Turn on some music to set the mood. Compile a playlist and play it during your encounter.\\n\", \"Food is also an aphrodisiac: whipped cream, melted chocolate, wine, strawberries, etc. Feed these to him in any manner you feel is appropriate.\\n\", \"If you and your boyfriend are at school, make time for each other. If you have anything sexy to feed him, feed him in a sexy manner.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't rush him and don't let him rush you.\\n\", \"Understand that some of the things above (waiting for him naked, etc) are for people that are in a comfortable and sexual relationship. If you've only ever pecked on the lips, don't try that (yet).\\n\", \"Never do anything you would feel uncomfortable doing. If he gets the wrong idea, he might want to take it further than you intended.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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4,090 | How to Be Receptive to Feedback | 1. Actively Listening to Feedback
1-1. Make eye contact.
When receiving feedback you should make eye contact with the person providing the feedback. Maintaining eye contact during your conversation will help build trust and create a more comfortable atmosphere for both parties.
Try to maintain a neutral facial expression (which is different than a "blank" expression). Your eyebrows should be relaxed, you may have a slight smile on your face (if appropriate), and you can nod to show that you are engaged. Try to avoid looking hostile, upset, or like you are zoning out.
1-2. Maintain open body language.
Standing with your arms crossed will make you appear defensive or not receptive to feedback. Instead use open body language to appear receptive to the feedback.
Lean in toward the person who is providing the feedback.
Keep your arms relaxed and open. Don't cross them!
Refrain from crossing your legs.
1-3. Don’t interrupt.
When someone is giving us feedback, it’s often second nature to interrupt the person before they’ve finished speaking — especially if the feedback is not positive. This prevents the person from completely conveying the feedback and hinders your understanding of what they are trying to say.
When someone is speaking don't think about your response. Use all of your energy to listen.
If you feel yourself getting ready to interrupt, gently bite your tongue to remind yourself that you need to listen fully to the feedback being given.
1-4. Summarize what you heard.
It can be helpful to repeat the feedback after you receive it. This can clear up any misunderstandings you have about what is being said. Summarize what you feel are the key points.
Try saying, "Thanks for your feedback, Angela. What I garnered from this is that I need to be more alert during staff meetings, correct?"
2. Responding to Feedback
2-1. Do not respond immediately.
It’s important to wait a few moments before responding to feedback, especially if it’s negative. You may regret responding with anger or extreme emotion after fully listening to what the other person has to say.
Try taking three deep breaths after receiving feedback. If you still feel emotionally charged, take a few more breaths before responding.
2-2. Don’t get defensive.
In order to be receptive to feedback, it’s key that you are open and refrain from getting defensive. This, in part, means being open to opinions and ideas that may differ from your own. Instead of trying to justify your actions or blame someone or something else, carefully listen to what is being said.
If your boss criticizes you for being late, don’t immediately launch into a defense about the challenges of getting the kids to school before work or the horrible traffic you encountered. Try saying, “I’m sorry I was late. I will make it a priority to be punctual from now on.”
Other defensive reactions include accepting the feedback and then talking badly about the person behind their back or purposefully avoiding implementing the feedback out of spite. Being unresponsive to make the person uncomfortable, such as just staring and not answering their questions, is another example.
2-3. Ask questions.
Before responding emotionally, it’s important to understand exactly what is being said to you. Asking for details allows the giver of feedback to clarify his or her criticisms, and provides you with a better understanding of what they are trying to convey.
If your daughter tells you she doesn’t like your cooking, urge her to clarify. Try saying, “Ashley, I’m sorry you are unhappy with my cooking. What particular dishes do you dislike?”
If your co-worker praises your presentation, you can say, “Thanks for your feedback, Joe. What did you think I did particularly well? How can I improve?”
2-4. Don’t take it personally.
Understand that feedback is usually about actions and behaviors, rather than the individual. Just because your boss sent you two hours of revisions on your last writing assignment doesn’t mean you are a poor writer. It just means there is room for improvement.
Try to separate yourself as an individual from the critique of your work.
3. Reflecting and Following Up on Feedback
3-1. Assess the feedback.
Not all feedback is worthy of further consideration once we’ve actively listened to what the person giving the feedback has to say. Each circumstance is different and you must assess the value of the feedback and decide if, how, and when to follow up on it.
Think about who is giving the feedback and why. If your boss is asking you to improve your writing skills, this is valid feedback; however, if they criticize your new haircut, you might choose to not give this feedback as much value.
3-2. Focus your energy on the feedback instead of the critic.
It’s easy to get flustered and even angry when someone gives us feedback. It’s important to keep your attention on the feedback itself instead of getting angry at, for example, your boss or spouse.
Don’t get too upset if your sister criticizes your makeup. Instead try saying, “I thought my makeup looked great, but I’m always up for learning new things. Do you have any tips for nailing the smoky eye?”
3-3. Follow up.
Once you’ve decided that the feedback is valuable to you, it’s important to follow up through words, actions, and/or modified behaviors. Simply saying you will do something is not enough, you must follow up with concrete actions.
If your partner expresses that you aren’t cleaning the kitchen thoroughly, don’t brush them off. Instead, follow up by carefully washing the dishes after meals.
If your boss gives you less than savory feedback on your public speaking skills, try signing up for the next webinar on public speaking that your company offers.
3-4. Express gratitude.
This is important for both negative and positive feedback. Even if you don’t agree with all the feedback a person gives you, it’s important to thank them for taking the time to provide you with feedback. A sincere expression of gratitude can go a long way.
Try saying, “Thank you for your feedback on my paper, Dr. Johnson. I really appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to meet with me and point out ways I can improve.”
If your friend tells you they really admire your parenting, be sure say thank you.
3-5. Don’t let it get you down.
It’s only feedback and everyone can become better at their professional and personal lives with a little bit on constructive criticism. Embrace the feedback but don’t let it consume you.
Don't spend a ton of time pondering the feedback. Allow yourself a set amount of time, perhaps 15 – 20 minutes, to think about the feedback and process your emotions.
Don't let negative thoughts about you or your work consume you. Try saying to yourself, "I have already spent enough time being angry about my boss's criticism. It's time to get back to work."
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Actively Listening to Feedback\\n1-1. Make eye contact.\\nWhen receiving feedback you should make eye contact with the person providing the feedback. Maintaining eye contact during your conversation will help build trust and create a more comfortable atmosphere for both parties.\\nTry to maintain a neutral facial expression (which is different than a \\\"blank\\\" expression). Your eyebrows should be relaxed, you may have a slight smile on your face (if appropriate), and you can nod to show that you are engaged. Try to avoid looking hostile, upset, or like you are zoning out.\\n1-2. Maintain open body language.\\nStanding with your arms crossed will make you appear defensive or not receptive to feedback. Instead use open body language to appear receptive to the feedback.\\nLean in toward the person who is providing the feedback.\\nKeep your arms relaxed and open. Don't cross them!\\nRefrain from crossing your legs.\\n1-3. Don’t interrupt.\\nWhen someone is giving us feedback, it’s often second nature to interrupt the person before they’ve finished speaking — especially if the feedback is not positive. This prevents the person from completely conveying the feedback and hinders your understanding of what they are trying to say.\\nWhen someone is speaking don't think about your response. Use all of your energy to listen.\\nIf you feel yourself getting ready to interrupt, gently bite your tongue to remind yourself that you need to listen fully to the feedback being given.\\n1-4. Summarize what you heard.\\nIt can be helpful to repeat the feedback after you receive it. This can clear up any misunderstandings you have about what is being said. Summarize what you feel are the key points.\\nTry saying, \\\"Thanks for your feedback, Angela. What I garnered from this is that I need to be more alert during staff meetings, correct?\\\"\\n2. Responding to Feedback\\n2-1. Do not respond immediately.\\nIt’s important to wait a few moments before responding to feedback, especially if it’s negative. You may regret responding with anger or extreme emotion after fully listening to what the other person has to say.\\nTry taking three deep breaths after receiving feedback. If you still feel emotionally charged, take a few more breaths before responding.\\n2-2. Don’t get defensive.\\nIn order to be receptive to feedback, it’s key that you are open and refrain from getting defensive. This, in part, means being open to opinions and ideas that may differ from your own. Instead of trying to justify your actions or blame someone or something else, carefully listen to what is being said.\\nIf your boss criticizes you for being late, don’t immediately launch into a defense about the challenges of getting the kids to school before work or the horrible traffic you encountered. Try saying, “I’m sorry I was late. I will make it a priority to be punctual from now on.”\\nOther defensive reactions include accepting the feedback and then talking badly about the person behind their back or purposefully avoiding implementing the feedback out of spite. Being unresponsive to make the person uncomfortable, such as just staring and not answering their questions, is another example.\\n2-3. Ask questions.\\nBefore responding emotionally, it’s important to understand exactly what is being said to you. Asking for details allows the giver of feedback to clarify his or her criticisms, and provides you with a better understanding of what they are trying to convey.\\nIf your daughter tells you she doesn’t like your cooking, urge her to clarify. Try saying, “Ashley, I’m sorry you are unhappy with my cooking. What particular dishes do you dislike?”\\nIf your co-worker praises your presentation, you can say, “Thanks for your feedback, Joe. What did you think I did particularly well? How can I improve?”\\n2-4. Don’t take it personally.\\nUnderstand that feedback is usually about actions and behaviors, rather than the individual. Just because your boss sent you two hours of revisions on your last writing assignment doesn’t mean you are a poor writer. It just means there is room for improvement.\\nTry to separate yourself as an individual from the critique of your work.\\n3. Reflecting and Following Up on Feedback\\n3-1. Assess the feedback.\\nNot all feedback is worthy of further consideration once we’ve actively listened to what the person giving the feedback has to say. Each circumstance is different and you must assess the value of the feedback and decide if, how, and when to follow up on it.\\nThink about who is giving the feedback and why. If your boss is asking you to improve your writing skills, this is valid feedback; however, if they criticize your new haircut, you might choose to not give this feedback as much value.\\n3-2. Focus your energy on the feedback instead of the critic.\\nIt’s easy to get flustered and even angry when someone gives us feedback. It’s important to keep your attention on the feedback itself instead of getting angry at, for example, your boss or spouse.\\nDon’t get too upset if your sister criticizes your makeup. Instead try saying, “I thought my makeup looked great, but I’m always up for learning new things. Do you have any tips for nailing the smoky eye?”\\n3-3. Follow up.\\nOnce you’ve decided that the feedback is valuable to you, it’s important to follow up through words, actions, and/or modified behaviors. Simply saying you will do something is not enough, you must follow up with concrete actions.\\nIf your partner expresses that you aren’t cleaning the kitchen thoroughly, don’t brush them off. Instead, follow up by carefully washing the dishes after meals.\\nIf your boss gives you less than savory feedback on your public speaking skills, try signing up for the next webinar on public speaking that your company offers.\\n3-4. Express gratitude.\\nThis is important for both negative and positive feedback. Even if you don’t agree with all the feedback a person gives you, it’s important to thank them for taking the time to provide you with feedback. A sincere expression of gratitude can go a long way.\\nTry saying, “Thank you for your feedback on my paper, Dr. Johnson. I really appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to meet with me and point out ways I can improve.”\\nIf your friend tells you they really admire your parenting, be sure say thank you.\\n3-5. Don’t let it get you down.\\nIt’s only feedback and everyone can become better at their professional and personal lives with a little bit on constructive criticism. Embrace the feedback but don’t let it consume you.\\nDon't spend a ton of time pondering the feedback. Allow yourself a set amount of time, perhaps 15 – 20 minutes, to think about the feedback and process your emotions.\\nDon't let negative thoughts about you or your work consume you. Try saying to yourself, \\\"I have already spent enough time being angry about my boss's criticism. It's time to get back to work.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Feedback is a key part of growing both personally and professionally. Being receptive to feedback helps strengthen relationships with friends and family and can help you further develop your career. Despite all these benefits, criticism can be tough to take in. Becoming an active listener, deconstructing the feedback, responding appropriately, and following up on the feedback you receive will help you to become more receptive to feedback.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Actively Listening to Feedback\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"When receiving feedback you should make eye contact with the person providing the feedback. Maintaining eye contact during your conversation will help build trust and create a more comfortable atmosphere for both parties.\\nTry to maintain a neutral facial expression (which is different than a \\\"blank\\\" expression). Your eyebrows should be relaxed, you may have a slight smile on your face (if appropriate), and you can nod to show that you are engaged. Try to avoid looking hostile, upset, or like you are zoning out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain open body language.\", \"描述\": \"Standing with your arms crossed will make you appear defensive or not receptive to feedback. Instead use open body language to appear receptive to the feedback.\\nLean in toward the person who is providing the feedback.\\nKeep your arms relaxed and open. Don't cross them!\\nRefrain from crossing your legs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t interrupt.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is giving us feedback, it’s often second nature to interrupt the person before they’ve finished speaking — especially if the feedback is not positive. This prevents the person from completely conveying the feedback and hinders your understanding of what they are trying to say.\\nWhen someone is speaking don't think about your response. Use all of your energy to listen.\\nIf you feel yourself getting ready to interrupt, gently bite your tongue to remind yourself that you need to listen fully to the feedback being given.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Summarize what you heard.\", \"描述\": \"It can be helpful to repeat the feedback after you receive it. This can clear up any misunderstandings you have about what is being said. Summarize what you feel are the key points.\\nTry saying, \\\"Thanks for your feedback, Angela. What I garnered from this is that I need to be more alert during staff meetings, correct?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding to Feedback\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not respond immediately.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to wait a few moments before responding to feedback, especially if it’s negative. You may regret responding with anger or extreme emotion after fully listening to what the other person has to say.\\nTry taking three deep breaths after receiving feedback. If you still feel emotionally charged, take a few more breaths before responding.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t get defensive.\", \"描述\": \"In order to be receptive to feedback, it’s key that you are open and refrain from getting defensive. This, in part, means being open to opinions and ideas that may differ from your own. Instead of trying to justify your actions or blame someone or something else, carefully listen to what is being said.\\nIf your boss criticizes you for being late, don’t immediately launch into a defense about the challenges of getting the kids to school before work or the horrible traffic you encountered. Try saying, “I’m sorry I was late. I will make it a priority to be punctual from now on.”\\nOther defensive reactions include accepting the feedback and then talking badly about the person behind their back or purposefully avoiding implementing the feedback out of spite. Being unresponsive to make the person uncomfortable, such as just staring and not answering their questions, is another example.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"Before responding emotionally, it’s important to understand exactly what is being said to you. Asking for details allows the giver of feedback to clarify his or her criticisms, and provides you with a better understanding of what they are trying to convey.\\nIf your daughter tells you she doesn’t like your cooking, urge her to clarify. Try saying, “Ashley, I’m sorry you are unhappy with my cooking. What particular dishes do you dislike?”\\nIf your co-worker praises your presentation, you can say, “Thanks for your feedback, Joe. What did you think I did particularly well? How can I improve?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t take it personally.\", \"描述\": \"Understand that feedback is usually about actions and behaviors, rather than the individual. Just because your boss sent you two hours of revisions on your last writing assignment doesn’t mean you are a poor writer. It just means there is room for improvement.\\nTry to separate yourself as an individual from the critique of your work.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reflecting and Following Up on Feedback\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess the feedback.\", \"描述\": \"Not all feedback is worthy of further consideration once we’ve actively listened to what the person giving the feedback has to say. Each circumstance is different and you must assess the value of the feedback and decide if, how, and when to follow up on it.\\nThink about who is giving the feedback and why. If your boss is asking you to improve your writing skills, this is valid feedback; however, if they criticize your new haircut, you might choose to not give this feedback as much value.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus your energy on the feedback instead of the critic.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to get flustered and even angry when someone gives us feedback. It’s important to keep your attention on the feedback itself instead of getting angry at, for example, your boss or spouse.\\nDon’t get too upset if your sister criticizes your makeup. Instead try saying, “I thought my makeup looked great, but I’m always up for learning new things. Do you have any tips for nailing the smoky eye?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Follow up.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve decided that the feedback is valuable to you, it’s important to follow up through words, actions, and/or modified behaviors. Simply saying you will do something is not enough, you must follow up with concrete actions.\\nIf your partner expresses that you aren’t cleaning the kitchen thoroughly, don’t brush them off. Instead, follow up by carefully washing the dishes after meals.\\nIf your boss gives you less than savory feedback on your public speaking skills, try signing up for the next webinar on public speaking that your company offers.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Express gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"This is important for both negative and positive feedback. Even if you don’t agree with all the feedback a person gives you, it’s important to thank them for taking the time to provide you with feedback. A sincere expression of gratitude can go a long way.\\nTry saying, “Thank you for your feedback on my paper, Dr. Johnson. I really appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to meet with me and point out ways I can improve.”\\nIf your friend tells you they really admire your parenting, be sure say thank you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t let it get you down.\", \"描述\": \"It’s only feedback and everyone can become better at their professional and personal lives with a little bit on constructive criticism. Embrace the feedback but don’t let it consume you.\\nDon't spend a ton of time pondering the feedback. Allow yourself a set amount of time, perhaps 15 – 20 minutes, to think about the feedback and process your emotions.\\nDon't let negative thoughts about you or your work consume you. Try saying to yourself, \\\"I have already spent enough time being angry about my boss's criticism. It's time to get back to work.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,091 | How to Be Refined | 1. Talking the Talk
1-1. Keep it simple.
You don’t need to spout of a list of facts or quote the entire Sunday paper in order to impress people with how refined you are. In fact, when it comes to being refined, less is more. You should say what’s on your mind in a succinct and clear way that leaves little up to doubt. Don’t bog your peers or strangers down in facts or in an effort to show off; instead, state your opinions briefly and confidently, and you’ll be showing that you’re a refined person who doesn’t need to ramble on to make a point.
You don’t need to speak in long, elaborate sentences to try to impress people. Short, concise sentences with clear words are best.
You also don’t need to use million-dollar words to make your points, either. It’s better if everyone can understand you.
1-2. Slow down.
Refined people are never in a rush because they’re sophisticated enough to give themselves time to do everything they want to do. They don’t rush to dinner, they don’t speak too fast, and they don’t rifle around their purses at top speed to find something because they already know that everything is in place. If you want to be refined, then you should work on moving in a confident, precise manner instead of moving fast, talking fast, and acting fast.
Instead of speaking fast and saying “um” and “like” every two seconds to fill the pauses, practice talking more slowly and really thinking before you speak so you can avoid using those conversational fillers.
1-3. Avoid cursing.
Though refined people do get their feathers ruffled on occasion, they tend to keep their cool in public. Therefore, they avoid cursing when they get upset or saying anything untoward in the heat of the moment. In fact, they generally avoid being vulgar by mentioning sex, going to the bathroom, or any other subjects that are likely to be distasteful to some people. This doesn’t mean that refined people are boring, but that they’re just classy. Cursing is a sign of bad breeding and refined people avoid it at all costs.
If you do lose your cool and curse, however, just apologize.
1-4. Excuse yourself if you belch or pass gas.
Nobody can be refined all the time, and sometimes, our bodies betray us and make noises that make other people giggle. It’s okay if you find yourself belching after a meal or passing gas, but the best thing to do, if you want to be refined, is to politely excuse yourself instead of pretending like nothing happened. Swallow your pride and do this and you’ll be projecting refinement in no time.
Just a simple “pardon me” before moving on is perfectly fine.
1-5. Avoid slang.
Though you don’t have to talk like Prince William, you should avoid using too much slang in your conversation if you want to sound refined. Avoid colloquialisms like “ya’ll” “you guys,” or “hella,” if you want to sound like a refined person who is cultured and well-mannered. Be aware of the regional phrases you use, or which terms come from pop culture, and try to find a way around them when you can. Refined people speak in a way that is timeless, not based on popular terms, such as “BFF” or “selfie.”
Of course, if everyone around you uses a ton of slang, you don’t want to stand out completely by using proper language, but you should avoid slang as much as possible to sound refined.
1-6. Avoid vulgar conversational topics.
If you want to be refined, then you should avoid talking about anything that can be viewed as offensive, especially if you find yourself in mixed company. Remember that something that might go over well with your best friend may not work well in a crowd; avoid talking about sex, body parts, using the bathroom, or any statements that may be seen as offensive or off-color that relate to politics. It’s better to assume that the people around you can be easily offended than to make what you think is an innocent joke that ends up really hurting a person’s feelings. To be refined, you can still discuss interesting topics while making sure that you’re not scandalizing anyone.
If someone else brings up a vulgar topic that you’re not comfortable with, you can also do your best to steer the conversation in a direction that makes you feel more comfortable.
1-7. Think before you speak.
Refined people rarely say something that is thoughtless or offensive and don’t often find themselves apologizing for misspeaking because they’ve thought everything through. They don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to their heads and stop to ask themselves how the comment would be received and if their intentions would be clear before they said anything. Refined people literally take the time to “refine” their words before they say them, so that they are said with elegance and grace.
Before you say something, look at the person you’re talking to and think about whether the statement would make the person upset, or, if you’re in a large group, if the statement would be better made privately.
1-8. Give compliments.
You don’t have to give fake compliments you don’t believe in just to sound refined, but you should work on making people feel special when they deserve it. The art of giving a compliment is a difficult one to master, and once you learn how to compliment a person’s important traits without overstepping your bounds, you’ll be on your way to sounding even more refined than ever. Refined people also have an eye for detail and are quick to notice a new piece of jewelry or footwear that is truly worth complimenting.
To sound truly refined, you can say something like, “That’s the most exquisite scarf I’ve ever seen” instead of, “Oh my god, what an awesome scarf!”
1-9. Don’t speak too loudly.
Refined people are confident that what they say will be heard because they’ve chosen their words carefully. Speaking so loud that the person across the restaurant can hear every word you say is a sign of bad breeding, as well as a lack of respect toward others. Make sure you modulate your voice when you talk to people, and wait to grab their attention instead of speaking so loudly that they are forced to listen.
Don’t loudly interrupt people to try to get your point across, either. Wait your turn if you want to be refined.
2. Acting Refined
2-1. Avoid gossiping.
People who are refined have opinions, but they tend to keep them to themselves when they involve other people in a negative light. If you want to be refined, then you should be above gossiping about other people, starting rumors, or asking if your two co-workers or classmates are hooking up. If you have the reputation of being a gossip, then people won’t think of you as refined at all; instead, they’ll see you as an unsophisticated, immature person. To be truly refined, you should be positive if you plan on talking about a person who isn’t in the room.
Instead, practice saying nice things about people “behind their backs.” Say nice things about people who aren’t in the room and it will get back to them.
2-2. Be agreeable.
Refined people don’t pick fights with people and don’t make a big deal about it if they disagree with something. They are still comfortable stating their opinions, but they don’t do so to make other people feel bad or to look superior. If you find someone challenging your ideas when you’re having a conversation, then you should be polite about disagreeing, and not resort to name calling. Refined people should be easy to get along with, and are easygoing and tend to go with the flow instead of being prickly or confrontational.
If you’re asked to settle an argument and know the answer — lets say people are debating about whether a quote is attributed to The Bible or Shakespeare — then it’s best to say you’re not sure of the answer even if you do. There’s no need to cause conflict.
If someone is trying to tell you your opinions are worthless, do not engage. Take the high road and exit the conversation instead of being determined to prove the person wrong.
2-3. Don’t brag.
Refined people are knowledgeable and interesting, but they don’t need to brag to make it known. Even if you’ve memorized every scene in every Goddard film or speak eight foreign languages, you shouldn’t go telling everyone you know. Instead, wait for your areas of interest to come up in conversation so that people can be impressed by how much you know instead of thinking you’re obnoxious for showing off. When you share what you do know, don’t act like an authority but just casually mention the information in a friendly way instead.
You should praise people on their achievements as often as you can instead of harping on your own.
If you’ve really accomplished a lot, then people will hear about it. If they mention it, be modest instead of acting like yeah, you know you’re pretty great.
2-4. Keep refined company.
If you really want to be refined, then it’s important for you to spend time with like-minded people. Refined people spend time with other people they can talk to about politics, wine, traveling, other cultures, foreign films, cultural events in their areas, and other subjects of interest. They don’t spend time with too many people who can’t contribute much to a conversation or who don’t listen to anything other than Top 40 and watch Judge Judy for a cultural good time. They tend to be friends with people who can stimulate them and encourage them to be even better than they are.
Though it’s not refined to completely ditch someone in your circle because you think that person makes you look bad, you should think about the company you keep. If you think you spend too much time with people who are vulgar, lack class, and who bring you down, then it’s time to reconsider those relationships.
2-5. Avoid dominating conversations.
People who are refined have interesting opinions about politics, sports, cuisine, wine, and other subjects, but they try to avoid being a bore and talking about them all night long. They also tend to avoid being self-absorbed and talking about themselves incessantly. They’d prefer to talk about other people or about interesting world matters instead. It’s not refined to do 90% of the talking in a conversation, no matter how interesting you may think you are.
If you’ve noticed that you’re dominating a conversation, switch gears and ask the people you’re with light questions, from what they’re doing this weekend to what their favorite sports team is.
2-6. Have good manners.
Good manners are a sign of refinement. In order to have good manners, you’ll need to eat with your mouth closed, avoid cursing, wait your turn, hold doors and pull out chairs for people, and generally conduct yourself in an admirable fashion. People with good manners are sensitive to the needs of others and make sure other people, whether they are guests or serving you coffee, are feeling comfortable. Ask people how they are, respect their space, and avoid making a mess if you want to have good manners.
Be polite. Always greet people in a friendly fashion, introduce yourself to people you don’t know if they join a conversation, and avoid being unnecessarily rude to people even if you think they deserve it.
2-7. Be cultured.
You don’t have to speak seventeen languages to be cultured, but it does help to know something about other cultures, whether it’s knowing how to correctly pronounce foreign words, or you know that, in certain cultures, it’s polite to remove your shoes when you enter a person’s house. There’s no one way to suddenly become cultured, but you can make an effort to get to know how people live in other parts of the world, to watch foreign films, sample the cuisines of other countries, and most importantly, avoid having the attitude that everything is done the “right way” in your country.
Make a point of attending cultural events in your area, whether there are local theatres or museum openings.
Read, read, read. Become knowledgeable on everything from ancient philosophy to contemporary poetry. Refined people tend to be very well-read.
2-8. Be tactful.
Refined people speak with extreme tact and understand that they have to choose their words and timing carefully when it comes to saying something. They don’t overstep their bounds and get too friendly with people they don’t know that well, they deflect negative comments from others, and they are able to be discreet when it’s necessary. They are masters at being gracious and don’t make people feel embarrassed in public.
Have a sense of a person’s sense of humor before you try to make a joke.
Avoid mentioning how much money you make or asking about a person’s salary. That is seen as crude and not tactful at all.
If someone has something in his teeth, for example, a tactful person would try to tell him privately.
Tactful people also know that timing is important. You may be excited to announce that you’re pregnant, but you should see that you should avoid doing this when your friend is gushing about her engagement.
3. Looking the Part
3-1. Wear elegant, well-maintained clothes.
Refined people take great care with their dress because they understand that an appearance of refinement is crucial to forming their refined persona. They pick clothes that are flattering, that match the season, that aren’t too revealing, and that look good together. Their clothes are tucked in, free of stains, and appropriate for the season. They tend to wear clothes with subtle colors, such as greys, browns, and blues, and don’t call too much attention to themselves with their dress.
Refined people also tend to dress more elegant than most; men often wear suits or business casual wear even if in occasion doesn’t call for it, and refined women tend to wear dresses and heels along with tasteful jewelry.
Your clothes don’t have to be expensive for you to look refined. You just have to make sure they fit well, match, and are free of wrinkles.
Excessive shiny jewelry or accessories won’t make you look more refined. In fact, just one subtle watch or pair of silver earrings will do the trick and will be far better than looking flashy.
Refined people tend to avoid graphic tee shirts or anything else that would make people laugh.
3-2. Groom yourself.
People who are refined take the time to comb their hair and make sure that they never look unkempt. Refined men tend to shave their faces or to maintain a very well-manicured beard. Refined people also generally look neat, clean, and like they put time and effort into their appearance. If you want to be refined, then you have to make a point of grooming yourself so that you are presentable when you step out.
Make a habit of carrying a comb and using it in private when necessary.
Women can wear subtle makeup, but they should avoid going over-the-top or they won’t look very refined. Just some subtle lipstick, a bit of mascara, and some light eye shadow will do the trick.
3-3. Maintain proper hygiene.
If you want to be refined, then you should shower daily, wash your hair every day or at least every other day, wear deodorant (if you believe in it), and add some cologne or a light perfume into the mix if you like the effect. You should also brush your teeth at least twice a day and generally make sure that you smell nice and clean and look fresh anywhere you go. It’s hard to look refined if you have greasy hair and smell like B.O. Along with grooming yourself, maintaining proper hygiene is an important aspect of being refined.
3-4. Have refined body language.
Refined people know how to carry themselves. They stand up straight and maintain good posture even when they’re sitting. They keep their hands respectably folded across their legs when they sit and avoid putting their elbows on a table when they dine. They don’t slouch, fidget, or pick their noses in public. In general, they act respectful toward their own bodies as well as the people around them. To be refined, have body language that shows you have self-respect without making yourself too much at home anywhere you go.
Avoid sitting with your legs spread wide, because this can be seen as a bit vulgar.
Avoid scratching yourself in public. If you have an itch you really have to scratch, you’ll be better off scratching it in the bathroom.
When you talk to people, stand at a respectable distance away from them. Close-talkers tend not to be refined.
3-5. Smile and make eye contact.
You may have an image of a refined person as a snob who would sooner turn his nose up at a new person than smile or make eye contact, but people who are truly refined know that other people deserve to be treated with respect. Making eye contact with people and smiling when you meet them or approach them is a common courtesy and shows them that you look at them as individuals who are worthy of your time. Eye contact also shows people that you have their attention, which is very respectful and refined.
Avoid checking your phone or texting when you’re talking to people and focus on the eye contact instead. Not paying attention to people is not very refined.
3-6. Greet people in a refined manner.
If you want to be refined, then you should treat people with respect when they come up to you. Don’t be too lazy to stand up to shake the hand of a new acquaintance or to introduce yourself by name. If a person you already know is approaching, it’s still polite to stand to greet that person if you want to be refined. If you just lift a hand and say, “hey,” then you may be seen as being a bit socially lazy, which is a sign of a lack of refinement.
It’s also polite to repeat the person’s name if you meet him or her for the first time. You can say something like, “It’s great to finally meet you, Jason.”
Tips
Do not look moody, look pleasant.
This 'refined' personality is unrealistic for 24/7 use or with close family and friends. You can be like this on a regular basis; but with those close to you be more open (still polite though). This way your 'refined' persona will not seem fake but like a wall you put out on your exterior in front of those you don't know too well. Not only will this make you not seem like a fraud; but make people more intrigued with the 'unguarded' you and more eager to learn more of you
Warnings
Some may call you arrogant, but that is simply due to the fact that they are jealous.
It may get lonely if you can't get the persona correct. This personality gets a lot of admiration but not always a flank of friends.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:51:42",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talking the Talk\\n1-1. Keep it simple.\\nYou don’t need to spout of a list of facts or quote the entire Sunday paper in order to impress people with how refined you are. In fact, when it comes to being refined, less is more. You should say what’s on your mind in a succinct and clear way that leaves little up to doubt. Don’t bog your peers or strangers down in facts or in an effort to show off; instead, state your opinions briefly and confidently, and you’ll be showing that you’re a refined person who doesn’t need to ramble on to make a point. \\nYou don’t need to speak in long, elaborate sentences to try to impress people. Short, concise sentences with clear words are best.\\nYou also don’t need to use million-dollar words to make your points, either. It’s better if everyone can understand you.\\n1-2. Slow down.\\nRefined people are never in a rush because they’re sophisticated enough to give themselves time to do everything they want to do. They don’t rush to dinner, they don’t speak too fast, and they don’t rifle around their purses at top speed to find something because they already know that everything is in place. If you want to be refined, then you should work on moving in a confident, precise manner instead of moving fast, talking fast, and acting fast. \\nInstead of speaking fast and saying “um” and “like” every two seconds to fill the pauses, practice talking more slowly and really thinking before you speak so you can avoid using those conversational fillers.\\n1-3. Avoid cursing.\\nThough refined people do get their feathers ruffled on occasion, they tend to keep their cool in public. Therefore, they avoid cursing when they get upset or saying anything untoward in the heat of the moment. In fact, they generally avoid being vulgar by mentioning sex, going to the bathroom, or any other subjects that are likely to be distasteful to some people. This doesn’t mean that refined people are boring, but that they’re just classy. Cursing is a sign of bad breeding and refined people avoid it at all costs. \\nIf you do lose your cool and curse, however, just apologize.\\n1-4. Excuse yourself if you belch or pass gas.\\nNobody can be refined all the time, and sometimes, our bodies betray us and make noises that make other people giggle. It’s okay if you find yourself belching after a meal or passing gas, but the best thing to do, if you want to be refined, is to politely excuse yourself instead of pretending like nothing happened. Swallow your pride and do this and you’ll be projecting refinement in no time. \\nJust a simple “pardon me” before moving on is perfectly fine.\\n1-5. Avoid slang.\\nThough you don’t have to talk like Prince William, you should avoid using too much slang in your conversation if you want to sound refined. Avoid colloquialisms like “ya’ll” “you guys,” or “hella,” if you want to sound like a refined person who is cultured and well-mannered. Be aware of the regional phrases you use, or which terms come from pop culture, and try to find a way around them when you can. Refined people speak in a way that is timeless, not based on popular terms, such as “BFF” or “selfie.” \\nOf course, if everyone around you uses a ton of slang, you don’t want to stand out completely by using proper language, but you should avoid slang as much as possible to sound refined.\\n1-6. Avoid vulgar conversational topics.\\nIf you want to be refined, then you should avoid talking about anything that can be viewed as offensive, especially if you find yourself in mixed company. Remember that something that might go over well with your best friend may not work well in a crowd; avoid talking about sex, body parts, using the bathroom, or any statements that may be seen as offensive or off-color that relate to politics. It’s better to assume that the people around you can be easily offended than to make what you think is an innocent joke that ends up really hurting a person’s feelings. To be refined, you can still discuss interesting topics while making sure that you’re not scandalizing anyone.\\nIf someone else brings up a vulgar topic that you’re not comfortable with, you can also do your best to steer the conversation in a direction that makes you feel more comfortable.\\n1-7. Think before you speak.\\nRefined people rarely say something that is thoughtless or offensive and don’t often find themselves apologizing for misspeaking because they’ve thought everything through. They don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to their heads and stop to ask themselves how the comment would be received and if their intentions would be clear before they said anything. Refined people literally take the time to “refine” their words before they say them, so that they are said with elegance and grace.\\nBefore you say something, look at the person you’re talking to and think about whether the statement would make the person upset, or, if you’re in a large group, if the statement would be better made privately.\\n1-8. Give compliments.\\nYou don’t have to give fake compliments you don’t believe in just to sound refined, but you should work on making people feel special when they deserve it. The art of giving a compliment is a difficult one to master, and once you learn how to compliment a person’s important traits without overstepping your bounds, you’ll be on your way to sounding even more refined than ever. Refined people also have an eye for detail and are quick to notice a new piece of jewelry or footwear that is truly worth complimenting. \\nTo sound truly refined, you can say something like, “That’s the most exquisite scarf I’ve ever seen” instead of, “Oh my god, what an awesome scarf!”\\n1-9. Don’t speak too loudly.\\nRefined people are confident that what they say will be heard because they’ve chosen their words carefully. Speaking so loud that the person across the restaurant can hear every word you say is a sign of bad breeding, as well as a lack of respect toward others. Make sure you modulate your voice when you talk to people, and wait to grab their attention instead of speaking so loudly that they are forced to listen.\\nDon’t loudly interrupt people to try to get your point across, either. Wait your turn if you want to be refined.\\n2. Acting Refined\\n2-1. Avoid gossiping.\\nPeople who are refined have opinions, but they tend to keep them to themselves when they involve other people in a negative light. If you want to be refined, then you should be above gossiping about other people, starting rumors, or asking if your two co-workers or classmates are hooking up. If you have the reputation of being a gossip, then people won’t think of you as refined at all; instead, they’ll see you as an unsophisticated, immature person. To be truly refined, you should be positive if you plan on talking about a person who isn’t in the room. \\nInstead, practice saying nice things about people “behind their backs.” Say nice things about people who aren’t in the room and it will get back to them.\\n2-2. Be agreeable.\\nRefined people don’t pick fights with people and don’t make a big deal about it if they disagree with something. They are still comfortable stating their opinions, but they don’t do so to make other people feel bad or to look superior. If you find someone challenging your ideas when you’re having a conversation, then you should be polite about disagreeing, and not resort to name calling. Refined people should be easy to get along with, and are easygoing and tend to go with the flow instead of being prickly or confrontational.\\nIf you’re asked to settle an argument and know the answer — lets say people are debating about whether a quote is attributed to The Bible or Shakespeare — then it’s best to say you’re not sure of the answer even if you do. There’s no need to cause conflict.\\nIf someone is trying to tell you your opinions are worthless, do not engage. Take the high road and exit the conversation instead of being determined to prove the person wrong.\\n2-3. Don’t brag.\\nRefined people are knowledgeable and interesting, but they don’t need to brag to make it known. Even if you’ve memorized every scene in every Goddard film or speak eight foreign languages, you shouldn’t go telling everyone you know. Instead, wait for your areas of interest to come up in conversation so that people can be impressed by how much you know instead of thinking you’re obnoxious for showing off. When you share what you do know, don’t act like an authority but just casually mention the information in a friendly way instead. \\nYou should praise people on their achievements as often as you can instead of harping on your own.\\nIf you’ve really accomplished a lot, then people will hear about it. If they mention it, be modest instead of acting like yeah, you know you’re pretty great.\\n2-4. Keep refined company.\\nIf you really want to be refined, then it’s important for you to spend time with like-minded people. Refined people spend time with other people they can talk to about politics, wine, traveling, other cultures, foreign films, cultural events in their areas, and other subjects of interest. They don’t spend time with too many people who can’t contribute much to a conversation or who don’t listen to anything other than Top 40 and watch Judge Judy for a cultural good time. They tend to be friends with people who can stimulate them and encourage them to be even better than they are. \\nThough it’s not refined to completely ditch someone in your circle because you think that person makes you look bad, you should think about the company you keep. If you think you spend too much time with people who are vulgar, lack class, and who bring you down, then it’s time to reconsider those relationships.\\n2-5. Avoid dominating conversations.\\nPeople who are refined have interesting opinions about politics, sports, cuisine, wine, and other subjects, but they try to avoid being a bore and talking about them all night long. They also tend to avoid being self-absorbed and talking about themselves incessantly. They’d prefer to talk about other people or about interesting world matters instead. It’s not refined to do 90% of the talking in a conversation, no matter how interesting you may think you are.\\nIf you’ve noticed that you’re dominating a conversation, switch gears and ask the people you’re with light questions, from what they’re doing this weekend to what their favorite sports team is.\\n2-6. Have good manners.\\nGood manners are a sign of refinement. In order to have good manners, you’ll need to eat with your mouth closed, avoid cursing, wait your turn, hold doors and pull out chairs for people, and generally conduct yourself in an admirable fashion. People with good manners are sensitive to the needs of others and make sure other people, whether they are guests or serving you coffee, are feeling comfortable. Ask people how they are, respect their space, and avoid making a mess if you want to have good manners.\\nBe polite. Always greet people in a friendly fashion, introduce yourself to people you don’t know if they join a conversation, and avoid being unnecessarily rude to people even if you think they deserve it.\\n2-7. Be cultured.\\nYou don’t have to speak seventeen languages to be cultured, but it does help to know something about other cultures, whether it’s knowing how to correctly pronounce foreign words, or you know that, in certain cultures, it’s polite to remove your shoes when you enter a person’s house. There’s no one way to suddenly become cultured, but you can make an effort to get to know how people live in other parts of the world, to watch foreign films, sample the cuisines of other countries, and most importantly, avoid having the attitude that everything is done the “right way” in your country.\\nMake a point of attending cultural events in your area, whether there are local theatres or museum openings.\\nRead, read, read. Become knowledgeable on everything from ancient philosophy to contemporary poetry. Refined people tend to be very well-read.\\n2-8. Be tactful.\\nRefined people speak with extreme tact and understand that they have to choose their words and timing carefully when it comes to saying something. They don’t overstep their bounds and get too friendly with people they don’t know that well, they deflect negative comments from others, and they are able to be discreet when it’s necessary. They are masters at being gracious and don’t make people feel embarrassed in public.\\nHave a sense of a person’s sense of humor before you try to make a joke.\\nAvoid mentioning how much money you make or asking about a person’s salary. That is seen as crude and not tactful at all.\\nIf someone has something in his teeth, for example, a tactful person would try to tell him privately.\\nTactful people also know that timing is important. You may be excited to announce that you’re pregnant, but you should see that you should avoid doing this when your friend is gushing about her engagement.\\n3. Looking the Part\\n3-1. Wear elegant, well-maintained clothes.\\nRefined people take great care with their dress because they understand that an appearance of refinement is crucial to forming their refined persona. They pick clothes that are flattering, that match the season, that aren’t too revealing, and that look good together. Their clothes are tucked in, free of stains, and appropriate for the season. They tend to wear clothes with subtle colors, such as greys, browns, and blues, and don’t call too much attention to themselves with their dress.\\nRefined people also tend to dress more elegant than most; men often wear suits or business casual wear even if in occasion doesn’t call for it, and refined women tend to wear dresses and heels along with tasteful jewelry.\\nYour clothes don’t have to be expensive for you to look refined. You just have to make sure they fit well, match, and are free of wrinkles.\\nExcessive shiny jewelry or accessories won’t make you look more refined. In fact, just one subtle watch or pair of silver earrings will do the trick and will be far better than looking flashy.\\nRefined people tend to avoid graphic tee shirts or anything else that would make people laugh.\\n3-2. Groom yourself.\\nPeople who are refined take the time to comb their hair and make sure that they never look unkempt. Refined men tend to shave their faces or to maintain a very well-manicured beard. Refined people also generally look neat, clean, and like they put time and effort into their appearance. If you want to be refined, then you have to make a point of grooming yourself so that you are presentable when you step out.\\nMake a habit of carrying a comb and using it in private when necessary.\\nWomen can wear subtle makeup, but they should avoid going over-the-top or they won’t look very refined. Just some subtle lipstick, a bit of mascara, and some light eye shadow will do the trick.\\n3-3. Maintain proper hygiene.\\nIf you want to be refined, then you should shower daily, wash your hair every day or at least every other day, wear deodorant (if you believe in it), and add some cologne or a light perfume into the mix if you like the effect. You should also brush your teeth at least twice a day and generally make sure that you smell nice and clean and look fresh anywhere you go. It’s hard to look refined if you have greasy hair and smell like B.O. Along with grooming yourself, maintaining proper hygiene is an important aspect of being refined.\\n3-4. Have refined body language.\\nRefined people know how to carry themselves. They stand up straight and maintain good posture even when they’re sitting. They keep their hands respectably folded across their legs when they sit and avoid putting their elbows on a table when they dine. They don’t slouch, fidget, or pick their noses in public. In general, they act respectful toward their own bodies as well as the people around them. To be refined, have body language that shows you have self-respect without making yourself too much at home anywhere you go.\\nAvoid sitting with your legs spread wide, because this can be seen as a bit vulgar.\\nAvoid scratching yourself in public. If you have an itch you really have to scratch, you’ll be better off scratching it in the bathroom.\\nWhen you talk to people, stand at a respectable distance away from them. Close-talkers tend not to be refined.\\n3-5. Smile and make eye contact.\\nYou may have an image of a refined person as a snob who would sooner turn his nose up at a new person than smile or make eye contact, but people who are truly refined know that other people deserve to be treated with respect. Making eye contact with people and smiling when you meet them or approach them is a common courtesy and shows them that you look at them as individuals who are worthy of your time. Eye contact also shows people that you have their attention, which is very respectful and refined.\\nAvoid checking your phone or texting when you’re talking to people and focus on the eye contact instead. Not paying attention to people is not very refined.\\n3-6. Greet people in a refined manner.\\nIf you want to be refined, then you should treat people with respect when they come up to you. Don’t be too lazy to stand up to shake the hand of a new acquaintance or to introduce yourself by name. If a person you already know is approaching, it’s still polite to stand to greet that person if you want to be refined. If you just lift a hand and say, “hey,” then you may be seen as being a bit socially lazy, which is a sign of a lack of refinement. \\nIt’s also polite to repeat the person’s name if you meet him or her for the first time. You can say something like, “It’s great to finally meet you, Jason.”\\nTips\\nDo not look moody, look pleasant.\\nThis 'refined' personality is unrealistic for 24/7 use or with close family and friends. You can be like this on a regular basis; but with those close to you be more open (still polite though). This way your 'refined' persona will not seem fake but like a wall you put out on your exterior in front of those you don't know too well. Not only will this make you not seem like a fraud; but make people more intrigued with the 'unguarded' you and more eager to learn more of you\\nWarnings\\nSome may call you arrogant, but that is simply due to the fact that they are jealous.\\nIt may get lonely if you can't get the persona correct. This personality gets a lot of admiration but not always a flank of friends.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Refined people are known for their elegance, subtlety, and social tact. If you want to be refined, then it’s not about acting like aristocracy, but about making a point of treating other people with respect while maintaining a sophisticated image. People who are refined tend to avoid bad habits, such as speaking too loudly, gossiping, or belching in public. If you want to be refined, you simply have to focus on projecting confidence, poise, and grace in your words and actions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talking the Talk\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to spout of a list of facts or quote the entire Sunday paper in order to impress people with how refined you are. In fact, when it comes to being refined, less is more. You should say what’s on your mind in a succinct and clear way that leaves little up to doubt. Don’t bog your peers or strangers down in facts or in an effort to show off; instead, state your opinions briefly and confidently, and you’ll be showing that you’re a refined person who doesn’t need to ramble on to make a point. \\nYou don’t need to speak in long, elaborate sentences to try to impress people. Short, concise sentences with clear words are best.\\nYou also don’t need to use million-dollar words to make your points, either. It’s better if everyone can understand you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Slow down.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people are never in a rush because they’re sophisticated enough to give themselves time to do everything they want to do. They don’t rush to dinner, they don’t speak too fast, and they don’t rifle around their purses at top speed to find something because they already know that everything is in place. If you want to be refined, then you should work on moving in a confident, precise manner instead of moving fast, talking fast, and acting fast. \\nInstead of speaking fast and saying “um” and “like” every two seconds to fill the pauses, practice talking more slowly and really thinking before you speak so you can avoid using those conversational fillers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid cursing.\", \"描述\": \"Though refined people do get their feathers ruffled on occasion, they tend to keep their cool in public. Therefore, they avoid cursing when they get upset or saying anything untoward in the heat of the moment. In fact, they generally avoid being vulgar by mentioning sex, going to the bathroom, or any other subjects that are likely to be distasteful to some people. This doesn’t mean that refined people are boring, but that they’re just classy. Cursing is a sign of bad breeding and refined people avoid it at all costs. \\nIf you do lose your cool and curse, however, just apologize.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Excuse yourself if you belch or pass gas.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody can be refined all the time, and sometimes, our bodies betray us and make noises that make other people giggle. It’s okay if you find yourself belching after a meal or passing gas, but the best thing to do, if you want to be refined, is to politely excuse yourself instead of pretending like nothing happened. Swallow your pride and do this and you’ll be projecting refinement in no time. \\nJust a simple “pardon me” before moving on is perfectly fine.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid slang.\", \"描述\": \"Though you don’t have to talk like Prince William, you should avoid using too much slang in your conversation if you want to sound refined. Avoid colloquialisms like “ya’ll” “you guys,” or “hella,” if you want to sound like a refined person who is cultured and well-mannered. Be aware of the regional phrases you use, or which terms come from pop culture, and try to find a way around them when you can. Refined people speak in a way that is timeless, not based on popular terms, such as “BFF” or “selfie.” \\nOf course, if everyone around you uses a ton of slang, you don’t want to stand out completely by using proper language, but you should avoid slang as much as possible to sound refined.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid vulgar conversational topics.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be refined, then you should avoid talking about anything that can be viewed as offensive, especially if you find yourself in mixed company. Remember that something that might go over well with your best friend may not work well in a crowd; avoid talking about sex, body parts, using the bathroom, or any statements that may be seen as offensive or off-color that relate to politics. It’s better to assume that the people around you can be easily offended than to make what you think is an innocent joke that ends up really hurting a person’s feelings. To be refined, you can still discuss interesting topics while making sure that you’re not scandalizing anyone.\\nIf someone else brings up a vulgar topic that you’re not comfortable with, you can also do your best to steer the conversation in a direction that makes you feel more comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people rarely say something that is thoughtless or offensive and don’t often find themselves apologizing for misspeaking because they’ve thought everything through. They don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to their heads and stop to ask themselves how the comment would be received and if their intentions would be clear before they said anything. Refined people literally take the time to “refine” their words before they say them, so that they are said with elegance and grace.\\nBefore you say something, look at the person you’re talking to and think about whether the statement would make the person upset, or, if you’re in a large group, if the statement would be better made privately.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give compliments.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to give fake compliments you don’t believe in just to sound refined, but you should work on making people feel special when they deserve it. The art of giving a compliment is a difficult one to master, and once you learn how to compliment a person’s important traits without overstepping your bounds, you’ll be on your way to sounding even more refined than ever. Refined people also have an eye for detail and are quick to notice a new piece of jewelry or footwear that is truly worth complimenting. \\nTo sound truly refined, you can say something like, “That’s the most exquisite scarf I’ve ever seen” instead of, “Oh my god, what an awesome scarf!”\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don’t speak too loudly.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people are confident that what they say will be heard because they’ve chosen their words carefully. Speaking so loud that the person across the restaurant can hear every word you say is a sign of bad breeding, as well as a lack of respect toward others. Make sure you modulate your voice when you talk to people, and wait to grab their attention instead of speaking so loudly that they are forced to listen.\\nDon’t loudly interrupt people to try to get your point across, either. Wait your turn if you want to be refined.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acting Refined\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossiping.\", \"描述\": \"People who are refined have opinions, but they tend to keep them to themselves when they involve other people in a negative light. If you want to be refined, then you should be above gossiping about other people, starting rumors, or asking if your two co-workers or classmates are hooking up. If you have the reputation of being a gossip, then people won’t think of you as refined at all; instead, they’ll see you as an unsophisticated, immature person. To be truly refined, you should be positive if you plan on talking about a person who isn’t in the room. \\nInstead, practice saying nice things about people “behind their backs.” Say nice things about people who aren’t in the room and it will get back to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be agreeable.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people don’t pick fights with people and don’t make a big deal about it if they disagree with something. They are still comfortable stating their opinions, but they don’t do so to make other people feel bad or to look superior. If you find someone challenging your ideas when you’re having a conversation, then you should be polite about disagreeing, and not resort to name calling. Refined people should be easy to get along with, and are easygoing and tend to go with the flow instead of being prickly or confrontational.\\nIf you’re asked to settle an argument and know the answer — lets say people are debating about whether a quote is attributed to The Bible or Shakespeare — then it’s best to say you’re not sure of the answer even if you do. There’s no need to cause conflict.\\nIf someone is trying to tell you your opinions are worthless, do not engage. Take the high road and exit the conversation instead of being determined to prove the person wrong.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t brag.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people are knowledgeable and interesting, but they don’t need to brag to make it known. Even if you’ve memorized every scene in every Goddard film or speak eight foreign languages, you shouldn’t go telling everyone you know. Instead, wait for your areas of interest to come up in conversation so that people can be impressed by how much you know instead of thinking you’re obnoxious for showing off. When you share what you do know, don’t act like an authority but just casually mention the information in a friendly way instead. \\nYou should praise people on their achievements as often as you can instead of harping on your own.\\nIf you’ve really accomplished a lot, then people will hear about it. If they mention it, be modest instead of acting like yeah, you know you’re pretty great.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep refined company.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to be refined, then it’s important for you to spend time with like-minded people. Refined people spend time with other people they can talk to about politics, wine, traveling, other cultures, foreign films, cultural events in their areas, and other subjects of interest. They don’t spend time with too many people who can’t contribute much to a conversation or who don’t listen to anything other than Top 40 and watch Judge Judy for a cultural good time. They tend to be friends with people who can stimulate them and encourage them to be even better than they are. \\nThough it’s not refined to completely ditch someone in your circle because you think that person makes you look bad, you should think about the company you keep. If you think you spend too much time with people who are vulgar, lack class, and who bring you down, then it’s time to reconsider those relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid dominating conversations.\", \"描述\": \"People who are refined have interesting opinions about politics, sports, cuisine, wine, and other subjects, but they try to avoid being a bore and talking about them all night long. They also tend to avoid being self-absorbed and talking about themselves incessantly. They’d prefer to talk about other people or about interesting world matters instead. It’s not refined to do 90% of the talking in a conversation, no matter how interesting you may think you are.\\nIf you’ve noticed that you’re dominating a conversation, switch gears and ask the people you’re with light questions, from what they’re doing this weekend to what their favorite sports team is.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Good manners are a sign of refinement. In order to have good manners, you’ll need to eat with your mouth closed, avoid cursing, wait your turn, hold doors and pull out chairs for people, and generally conduct yourself in an admirable fashion. People with good manners are sensitive to the needs of others and make sure other people, whether they are guests or serving you coffee, are feeling comfortable. Ask people how they are, respect their space, and avoid making a mess if you want to have good manners.\\nBe polite. Always greet people in a friendly fashion, introduce yourself to people you don’t know if they join a conversation, and avoid being unnecessarily rude to people even if you think they deserve it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be cultured.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to speak seventeen languages to be cultured, but it does help to know something about other cultures, whether it’s knowing how to correctly pronounce foreign words, or you know that, in certain cultures, it’s polite to remove your shoes when you enter a person’s house. There’s no one way to suddenly become cultured, but you can make an effort to get to know how people live in other parts of the world, to watch foreign films, sample the cuisines of other countries, and most importantly, avoid having the attitude that everything is done the “right way” in your country.\\nMake a point of attending cultural events in your area, whether there are local theatres or museum openings.\\nRead, read, read. Become knowledgeable on everything from ancient philosophy to contemporary poetry. Refined people tend to be very well-read.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be tactful.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people speak with extreme tact and understand that they have to choose their words and timing carefully when it comes to saying something. They don’t overstep their bounds and get too friendly with people they don’t know that well, they deflect negative comments from others, and they are able to be discreet when it’s necessary. They are masters at being gracious and don’t make people feel embarrassed in public.\\nHave a sense of a person’s sense of humor before you try to make a joke.\\nAvoid mentioning how much money you make or asking about a person’s salary. That is seen as crude and not tactful at all.\\nIf someone has something in his teeth, for example, a tactful person would try to tell him privately.\\nTactful people also know that timing is important. You may be excited to announce that you’re pregnant, but you should see that you should avoid doing this when your friend is gushing about her engagement.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Looking the Part\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear elegant, well-maintained clothes.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people take great care with their dress because they understand that an appearance of refinement is crucial to forming their refined persona. They pick clothes that are flattering, that match the season, that aren’t too revealing, and that look good together. Their clothes are tucked in, free of stains, and appropriate for the season. They tend to wear clothes with subtle colors, such as greys, browns, and blues, and don’t call too much attention to themselves with their dress.\\nRefined people also tend to dress more elegant than most; men often wear suits or business casual wear even if in occasion doesn’t call for it, and refined women tend to wear dresses and heels along with tasteful jewelry.\\nYour clothes don’t have to be expensive for you to look refined. You just have to make sure they fit well, match, and are free of wrinkles.\\nExcessive shiny jewelry or accessories won’t make you look more refined. In fact, just one subtle watch or pair of silver earrings will do the trick and will be far better than looking flashy.\\nRefined people tend to avoid graphic tee shirts or anything else that would make people laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Groom yourself.\", \"描述\": \"People who are refined take the time to comb their hair and make sure that they never look unkempt. Refined men tend to shave their faces or to maintain a very well-manicured beard. Refined people also generally look neat, clean, and like they put time and effort into their appearance. If you want to be refined, then you have to make a point of grooming yourself so that you are presentable when you step out.\\nMake a habit of carrying a comb and using it in private when necessary.\\nWomen can wear subtle makeup, but they should avoid going over-the-top or they won’t look very refined. Just some subtle lipstick, a bit of mascara, and some light eye shadow will do the trick.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintain proper hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be refined, then you should shower daily, wash your hair every day or at least every other day, wear deodorant (if you believe in it), and add some cologne or a light perfume into the mix if you like the effect. You should also brush your teeth at least twice a day and generally make sure that you smell nice and clean and look fresh anywhere you go. It’s hard to look refined if you have greasy hair and smell like B.O. Along with grooming yourself, maintaining proper hygiene is an important aspect of being refined.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have refined body language.\", \"描述\": \"Refined people know how to carry themselves. They stand up straight and maintain good posture even when they’re sitting. They keep their hands respectably folded across their legs when they sit and avoid putting their elbows on a table when they dine. They don’t slouch, fidget, or pick their noses in public. In general, they act respectful toward their own bodies as well as the people around them. To be refined, have body language that shows you have self-respect without making yourself too much at home anywhere you go.\\nAvoid sitting with your legs spread wide, because this can be seen as a bit vulgar.\\nAvoid scratching yourself in public. If you have an itch you really have to scratch, you’ll be better off scratching it in the bathroom.\\nWhen you talk to people, stand at a respectable distance away from them. Close-talkers tend not to be refined.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Smile and make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"You may have an image of a refined person as a snob who would sooner turn his nose up at a new person than smile or make eye contact, but people who are truly refined know that other people deserve to be treated with respect. Making eye contact with people and smiling when you meet them or approach them is a common courtesy and shows them that you look at them as individuals who are worthy of your time. Eye contact also shows people that you have their attention, which is very respectful and refined.\\nAvoid checking your phone or texting when you’re talking to people and focus on the eye contact instead. Not paying attention to people is not very refined.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Greet people in a refined manner.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be refined, then you should treat people with respect when they come up to you. Don’t be too lazy to stand up to shake the hand of a new acquaintance or to introduce yourself by name. If a person you already know is approaching, it’s still polite to stand to greet that person if you want to be refined. If you just lift a hand and say, “hey,” then you may be seen as being a bit socially lazy, which is a sign of a lack of refinement. \\nIt’s also polite to repeat the person’s name if you meet him or her for the first time. You can say something like, “It’s great to finally meet you, Jason.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not look moody, look pleasant.\\n\", \"This 'refined' personality is unrealistic for 24/7 use or with close family and friends. You can be like this on a regular basis; but with those close to you be more open (still polite though). This way your 'refined' persona will not seem fake but like a wall you put out on your exterior in front of those you don't know too well. Not only will this make you not seem like a fraud; but make people more intrigued with the 'unguarded' you and more eager to learn more of you\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some may call you arrogant, but that is simply due to the fact that they are jealous.\\n\", \"It may get lonely if you can't get the persona correct. This personality gets a lot of admiration but not always a flank of friends.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,092 | How to Be Regular with Your Prayers in Islam | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand what prayer is and learn about the significance of it in Islam.
The best motivation to stay regular with your prayers is to understand and appreciate its benefits. You could be standing in prayer and have no idea what you're doing, but you're doing it anyway because you have to. This is not the correct way to stay regular with your prayers and could cause you to feel discouraged and prevent you from praying. Learn the meaning of the words that are recited and understand their context reading the Qur'an and studying Ahadith.
In the Qu'ran it says, "And I have chosen you, so listen to that which is inspired to you. Verily, I am Allah! There is none worthy of worship but I, so worship Me and offer prayer perfectly for My remembrance." We pray only to worship Allah and to remember him.
It's mentioned in a Hadith that "The first matter that the slave [a Muslim] will be brought to account for on the Day of Judgment is the prayer. If it is sound, then the rest of his deeds will be sound. And if it is bad, then the rest of his deeds will be bad."
1-2. Set alarms five minutes before the prayer time.
To be aware when it's almost time to pray, set alarms for each prayer that is five minutes before the actual prayer. This can help prepare yourself such as wearing proper clothing, finding an area to pray, making Wudu, and encouraging your Muslims friends or family members to get ready to pray, too.
You may want to set alarms on your phone, tablet, or computer so you can get a notification about prayer. There are many smart phone apps available to set alarms according to your location.
If you can't set an alarm, try writing the times of each prayer on pieces of paper and placing them around the house where you'll see them such as on the fridge, on your calendar, etc.
If you find it hard to stick to an alarm, you might find it helpful for a Muslim friend or family member to remind you when prayer time is near. However, do remember you are responsible for your own prayers, so avoid depending on them too much.
1-3. Pray wherever you can, preferably at the masjid (mosque) for men or at home for women.
It can be hard for men to always pray at the masjid, so if you are busy and have other tasks to do, it is acceptable to pray at home. If you're out and know you won't be coming home in awhile, you can pray at the place you're in as long as you pray in a quiet, clean area (i.e praying at school, work, store, etc.).
Maintain a clean and tidy area at home dedicated for prayer, where all the family can pray.
1-4. Learn about the blessings of prayer.
Praying regularly is a great blessing and the rewards for it are great. Constantly remind yourself how important prayer is and the benefits of it. Prayer brings you closer to Allah. It allows you to reflect on all the gifts He has given you, to thank Him and to praise Him for His might and wisdom. It also allows you to ask Allah for help when you are going through a difficult time and to reflect upon your sins.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The most important of all matters is Islam, its spinal cord is prayer and the highest rank is Jihad for the sake of Allah.”
Prayer also wipes off any bad sins. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "Tell me, if there's an overflowing river in front of the house and you bathe into it five times a day, will there remain any dirt on you? They [the companions of the Prophet] said, ‘No dirt will remain on him’. He then said: “That is the example of the five daily obligatory prayers by which Allah erases sins.”
Allah has commanded Muslims to pray because it is good for them, rather than Allah actually needing their prayer.
1-5. Remember Allah often.
The only way to be regular with your prayers is to be mindful of Allah throughout the day. This will prevent you from forgetting Him and will allow you stay regular with your prayers. Busy yourself with Islamic duties such as making Dhikr, giving charity or Zakat, attending Islamic gatherings or speeches, listening to Islamic lectures, reciting the Qur'an, fasting, and participating in other good deeds.
Allah should never be far away from your thoughts. Every action throughout each day should be undertaken with seeking the pleasure of Allah in mind.
If you are able, allow some time after each salat for quiet remembrance of Allah.
1-6. Make Du'a daily for Allah to help you.
Keeping at your prayers regularly is not always easy and you will feel lazy or discouraged at times. Understand that this is normal and many Muslims know that feeling. However, it's important not to give in and to ask Allah to help you by making Du'a. You can find many good Du'as from the Qur'an, either in arabic or in your native language, or you can create one yourself by expressing yourself in your own words on how you need help from Allah. Some Du'as in the Qu'ran include:
[14:40] "My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication."
[66:8] "Our Lord! Perfect our light for us and forgive us our sins, for verily You have power over all things."
[7:126] "Our Lord! Pour out on us patience and constancy, and make us die as those who have surrendered themselves unto You."
[3:8] "Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after You have guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Your grace. Verily You are the Giver of bounties without measure."
1-7. Understand that the prayer has been made easy for you.
If you're traveling, you are allowed to combine your prayers to help make it easy for you as you travel. If you're very weak or sick, you can pray sitting down, and if that's hard enough, you can also pray laying down. Point being: praying should not be a hassle and Allah has made it very easy for you. It takes approximately 10-15 minutes to pray, and sometimes even less depending on how much you pray or what prayer it is.
Prayer lies at the heart of the daily routine of the Muslim. Allah has created us to worship Him and so prayer must be prioritized above all worldly matters.
Try to develop a deep focus when praying so that all other matters are far from your mind and your are devoting 100% of your concentration to your conversation with Allah.
1-8. Commit to your prayers and don't feel discouraged.
There are times where you won't exactly be on time for prayer (e.g if you are a surgeon, you can't step out to pray during an operation; if you're a student, you can't go pray during an exam, etc.) nor will you be absolutely perfect for each one. You might wake up late and miss your prayer or just simply forget about it at one point. Don't feel discouraged and keep striving to be on time and regular to your prayers.
Understand that Allah is the All-Forgiving (Al-Ghafoor). If you do end up missing your prayer, delaying it for no valid reason then repent to Him, ask Him to make it easier for you, promise not to repeat the mistake and ask Him to save you.
Be mindful that if a Muslim is heedless in his/her prayer then Allah will hold them to account on the Day of Judgement. Allah has created and sustains all humans and asks for very little in return so Muslims have a duty to do their best to worship Him in the way that He has prescribed.
Spend spare moments throughout each day thinking about the afterlife. Allah has created hellfire for those who disobey Him, so use this to motivate yourself to obey Allah and be the best Muslim you can be.
1-9. Thank Allah from your heart when you do become regular to your prayers.
Do something fun such as having a treat or going out to the park to mark your achievement, but do not become complacent.
All forms of motivation and encouragement are helpful to keep up the habit and stay regular with your prayers, but above all should be the desire to please Allah and attain Jannah (heaven).
Muslim children are taught to pray from the age of 7 and may be disciplined for not saying their 5 daily prayers from the age of 10 by gently reminding them that Jahannam (hellfire) is the destiny for those who do not pray.
1-10. Understand that it may take time.
If you're new to praying or have recently converted, keeping regular at your prayers isn't always easy and will require a lot of effort on your part. Understand that Allah helps those who really try to worship Him, and with His will, you'll be able to establish the self-discipline of regular prayer.
Look into the many additional optional prayers that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) prayed regularly, that can help strengthen your connection with Allah.
Tips
Try to pray at the mosque daily to encourage yourself to pray regularly.
Make an intention every day when you wake up that you will try to pray regularly that day.
Avoid losing focus in your prayers and try your best to concentrate.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand what prayer is and learn about the significance of it in Islam.\\nThe best motivation to stay regular with your prayers is to understand and appreciate its benefits. You could be standing in prayer and have no idea what you're doing, but you're doing it anyway because you have to. This is not the correct way to stay regular with your prayers and could cause you to feel discouraged and prevent you from praying. Learn the meaning of the words that are recited and understand their context reading the Qur'an and studying Ahadith. \\nIn the Qu'ran it says, \\\"And I have chosen you, so listen to that which is inspired to you. Verily, I am Allah! There is none worthy of worship but I, so worship Me and offer prayer perfectly for My remembrance.\\\" We pray only to worship Allah and to remember him. \\nIt's mentioned in a Hadith that \\\"The first matter that the slave [a Muslim] will be brought to account for on the Day of Judgment is the prayer. If it is sound, then the rest of his deeds will be sound. And if it is bad, then the rest of his deeds will be bad.\\\"\\n1-2. Set alarms five minutes before the prayer time.\\nTo be aware when it's almost time to pray, set alarms for each prayer that is five minutes before the actual prayer. This can help prepare yourself such as wearing proper clothing, finding an area to pray, making Wudu, and encouraging your Muslims friends or family members to get ready to pray, too. \\nYou may want to set alarms on your phone, tablet, or computer so you can get a notification about prayer. There are many smart phone apps available to set alarms according to your location.\\nIf you can't set an alarm, try writing the times of each prayer on pieces of paper and placing them around the house where you'll see them such as on the fridge, on your calendar, etc.\\nIf you find it hard to stick to an alarm, you might find it helpful for a Muslim friend or family member to remind you when prayer time is near. However, do remember you are responsible for your own prayers, so avoid depending on them too much.\\n1-3. Pray wherever you can, preferably at the masjid (mosque) for men or at home for women.\\nIt can be hard for men to always pray at the masjid, so if you are busy and have other tasks to do, it is acceptable to pray at home. If you're out and know you won't be coming home in awhile, you can pray at the place you're in as long as you pray in a quiet, clean area (i.e praying at school, work, store, etc.). \\nMaintain a clean and tidy area at home dedicated for prayer, where all the family can pray.\\n1-4. Learn about the blessings of prayer.\\nPraying regularly is a great blessing and the rewards for it are great. Constantly remind yourself how important prayer is and the benefits of it. Prayer brings you closer to Allah. It allows you to reflect on all the gifts He has given you, to thank Him and to praise Him for His might and wisdom. It also allows you to ask Allah for help when you are going through a difficult time and to reflect upon your sins. \\nThe Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The most important of all matters is Islam, its spinal cord is prayer and the highest rank is Jihad for the sake of Allah.”\\nPrayer also wipes off any bad sins. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, \\\"Tell me, if there's an overflowing river in front of the house and you bathe into it five times a day, will there remain any dirt on you? They [the companions of the Prophet] said, ‘No dirt will remain on him’. He then said: “That is the example of the five daily obligatory prayers by which Allah erases sins.”\\nAllah has commanded Muslims to pray because it is good for them, rather than Allah actually needing their prayer.\\n1-5. Remember Allah often.\\nThe only way to be regular with your prayers is to be mindful of Allah throughout the day. This will prevent you from forgetting Him and will allow you stay regular with your prayers. Busy yourself with Islamic duties such as making Dhikr, giving charity or Zakat, attending Islamic gatherings or speeches, listening to Islamic lectures, reciting the Qur'an, fasting, and participating in other good deeds. \\nAllah should never be far away from your thoughts. Every action throughout each day should be undertaken with seeking the pleasure of Allah in mind.\\nIf you are able, allow some time after each salat for quiet remembrance of Allah.\\n1-6. Make Du'a daily for Allah to help you.\\nKeeping at your prayers regularly is not always easy and you will feel lazy or discouraged at times. Understand that this is normal and many Muslims know that feeling. However, it's important not to give in and to ask Allah to help you by making Du'a. You can find many good Du'as from the Qur'an, either in arabic or in your native language, or you can create one yourself by expressing yourself in your own words on how you need help from Allah. Some Du'as in the Qu'ran include: \\n[14:40] \\\"My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication.\\\"\\n[66:8] \\\"Our Lord! Perfect our light for us and forgive us our sins, for verily You have power over all things.\\\"\\n[7:126] \\\"Our Lord! Pour out on us patience and constancy, and make us die as those who have surrendered themselves unto You.\\\"\\n[3:8] \\\"Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after You have guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Your grace. Verily You are the Giver of bounties without measure.\\\"\\n1-7. Understand that the prayer has been made easy for you.\\nIf you're traveling, you are allowed to combine your prayers to help make it easy for you as you travel. If you're very weak or sick, you can pray sitting down, and if that's hard enough, you can also pray laying down. Point being: praying should not be a hassle and Allah has made it very easy for you. It takes approximately 10-15 minutes to pray, and sometimes even less depending on how much you pray or what prayer it is. \\nPrayer lies at the heart of the daily routine of the Muslim. Allah has created us to worship Him and so prayer must be prioritized above all worldly matters.\\nTry to develop a deep focus when praying so that all other matters are far from your mind and your are devoting 100% of your concentration to your conversation with Allah.\\n1-8. Commit to your prayers and don't feel discouraged.\\nThere are times where you won't exactly be on time for prayer (e.g if you are a surgeon, you can't step out to pray during an operation; if you're a student, you can't go pray during an exam, etc.) nor will you be absolutely perfect for each one. You might wake up late and miss your prayer or just simply forget about it at one point. Don't feel discouraged and keep striving to be on time and regular to your prayers. \\nUnderstand that Allah is the All-Forgiving (Al-Ghafoor). If you do end up missing your prayer, delaying it for no valid reason then repent to Him, ask Him to make it easier for you, promise not to repeat the mistake and ask Him to save you. \\nBe mindful that if a Muslim is heedless in his/her prayer then Allah will hold them to account on the Day of Judgement. Allah has created and sustains all humans and asks for very little in return so Muslims have a duty to do their best to worship Him in the way that He has prescribed.\\nSpend spare moments throughout each day thinking about the afterlife. Allah has created hellfire for those who disobey Him, so use this to motivate yourself to obey Allah and be the best Muslim you can be.\\n1-9. Thank Allah from your heart when you do become regular to your prayers.\\nDo something fun such as having a treat or going out to the park to mark your achievement, but do not become complacent. \\nAll forms of motivation and encouragement are helpful to keep up the habit and stay regular with your prayers, but above all should be the desire to please Allah and attain Jannah (heaven).\\nMuslim children are taught to pray from the age of 7 and may be disciplined for not saying their 5 daily prayers from the age of 10 by gently reminding them that Jahannam (hellfire) is the destiny for those who do not pray.\\n1-10. Understand that it may take time.\\nIf you're new to praying or have recently converted, keeping regular at your prayers isn't always easy and will require a lot of effort on your part. Understand that Allah helps those who really try to worship Him, and with His will, you'll be able to establish the self-discipline of regular prayer. \\nLook into the many additional optional prayers that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) prayed regularly, that can help strengthen your connection with Allah.\\nTips\\nTry to pray at the mosque daily to encourage yourself to pray regularly.\\nMake an intention every day when you wake up that you will try to pray regularly that day.\\nAvoid losing focus in your prayers and try your best to concentrate.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Prayer in Islam (also called Salah) is one of the most important actions as a Muslim and is one of the five pillars of Islam. It's important to stay regular with your five daily prayers, as it is part of being Muslim. You should avoid delaying it at its appointed time and stay keen to keeping at it every day. It can be difficult to be regular with your prayers, especially if you're new converted Muslim or if you've never attempted praying before, but by following a few methods and techniques, you'll be able to keep prayer into your routine with the help of Allah. The following is reported from Jabir Ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The key to Paradise is prayer; the key to prayer is Wudu (ablution).\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what prayer is and learn about the significance of it in Islam.\", \"描述\": \"The best motivation to stay regular with your prayers is to understand and appreciate its benefits. You could be standing in prayer and have no idea what you're doing, but you're doing it anyway because you have to. This is not the correct way to stay regular with your prayers and could cause you to feel discouraged and prevent you from praying. Learn the meaning of the words that are recited and understand their context reading the Qur'an and studying Ahadith. \\nIn the Qu'ran it says, \\\"And I have chosen you, so listen to that which is inspired to you. Verily, I am Allah! There is none worthy of worship but I, so worship Me and offer prayer perfectly for My remembrance.\\\" We pray only to worship Allah and to remember him. \\nIt's mentioned in a Hadith that \\\"The first matter that the slave [a Muslim] will be brought to account for on the Day of Judgment is the prayer. If it is sound, then the rest of his deeds will be sound. And if it is bad, then the rest of his deeds will be bad.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set alarms five minutes before the prayer time.\", \"描述\": \"To be aware when it's almost time to pray, set alarms for each prayer that is five minutes before the actual prayer. This can help prepare yourself such as wearing proper clothing, finding an area to pray, making Wudu, and encouraging your Muslims friends or family members to get ready to pray, too. \\nYou may want to set alarms on your phone, tablet, or computer so you can get a notification about prayer. There are many smart phone apps available to set alarms according to your location.\\nIf you can't set an alarm, try writing the times of each prayer on pieces of paper and placing them around the house where you'll see them such as on the fridge, on your calendar, etc.\\nIf you find it hard to stick to an alarm, you might find it helpful for a Muslim friend or family member to remind you when prayer time is near. However, do remember you are responsible for your own prayers, so avoid depending on them too much.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pray wherever you can, preferably at the masjid (mosque) for men or at home for women.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard for men to always pray at the masjid, so if you are busy and have other tasks to do, it is acceptable to pray at home. If you're out and know you won't be coming home in awhile, you can pray at the place you're in as long as you pray in a quiet, clean area (i.e praying at school, work, store, etc.). \\nMaintain a clean and tidy area at home dedicated for prayer, where all the family can pray.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn about the blessings of prayer.\", \"描述\": \"Praying regularly is a great blessing and the rewards for it are great. Constantly remind yourself how important prayer is and the benefits of it. Prayer brings you closer to Allah. It allows you to reflect on all the gifts He has given you, to thank Him and to praise Him for His might and wisdom. It also allows you to ask Allah for help when you are going through a difficult time and to reflect upon your sins. \\nThe Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The most important of all matters is Islam, its spinal cord is prayer and the highest rank is Jihad for the sake of Allah.”\\nPrayer also wipes off any bad sins. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, \\\"Tell me, if there's an overflowing river in front of the house and you bathe into it five times a day, will there remain any dirt on you? They [the companions of the Prophet] said, ‘No dirt will remain on him’. He then said: “That is the example of the five daily obligatory prayers by which Allah erases sins.”\\nAllah has commanded Muslims to pray because it is good for them, rather than Allah actually needing their prayer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remember Allah often.\", \"描述\": \"The only way to be regular with your prayers is to be mindful of Allah throughout the day. This will prevent you from forgetting Him and will allow you stay regular with your prayers. Busy yourself with Islamic duties such as making Dhikr, giving charity or Zakat, attending Islamic gatherings or speeches, listening to Islamic lectures, reciting the Qur'an, fasting, and participating in other good deeds. \\nAllah should never be far away from your thoughts. Every action throughout each day should be undertaken with seeking the pleasure of Allah in mind.\\nIf you are able, allow some time after each salat for quiet remembrance of Allah.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make Du'a daily for Allah to help you.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping at your prayers regularly is not always easy and you will feel lazy or discouraged at times. Understand that this is normal and many Muslims know that feeling. However, it's important not to give in and to ask Allah to help you by making Du'a. You can find many good Du'as from the Qur'an, either in arabic or in your native language, or you can create one yourself by expressing yourself in your own words on how you need help from Allah. Some Du'as in the Qu'ran include: \\n[14:40] \\\"My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication.\\\"\\n[66:8] \\\"Our Lord! Perfect our light for us and forgive us our sins, for verily You have power over all things.\\\"\\n[7:126] \\\"Our Lord! Pour out on us patience and constancy, and make us die as those who have surrendered themselves unto You.\\\"\\n[3:8] \\\"Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after You have guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Your grace. Verily You are the Giver of bounties without measure.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Understand that the prayer has been made easy for you.\", \"描述\": \"If you're traveling, you are allowed to combine your prayers to help make it easy for you as you travel. If you're very weak or sick, you can pray sitting down, and if that's hard enough, you can also pray laying down. Point being: praying should not be a hassle and Allah has made it very easy for you. It takes approximately 10-15 minutes to pray, and sometimes even less depending on how much you pray or what prayer it is. \\nPrayer lies at the heart of the daily routine of the Muslim. Allah has created us to worship Him and so prayer must be prioritized above all worldly matters.\\nTry to develop a deep focus when praying so that all other matters are far from your mind and your are devoting 100% of your concentration to your conversation with Allah.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Commit to your prayers and don't feel discouraged.\", \"描述\": \"There are times where you won't exactly be on time for prayer (e.g if you are a surgeon, you can't step out to pray during an operation; if you're a student, you can't go pray during an exam, etc.) nor will you be absolutely perfect for each one. You might wake up late and miss your prayer or just simply forget about it at one point. Don't feel discouraged and keep striving to be on time and regular to your prayers. \\nUnderstand that Allah is the All-Forgiving (Al-Ghafoor). If you do end up missing your prayer, delaying it for no valid reason then repent to Him, ask Him to make it easier for you, promise not to repeat the mistake and ask Him to save you. \\nBe mindful that if a Muslim is heedless in his/her prayer then Allah will hold them to account on the Day of Judgement. Allah has created and sustains all humans and asks for very little in return so Muslims have a duty to do their best to worship Him in the way that He has prescribed.\\nSpend spare moments throughout each day thinking about the afterlife. Allah has created hellfire for those who disobey Him, so use this to motivate yourself to obey Allah and be the best Muslim you can be.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Thank Allah from your heart when you do become regular to your prayers.\", \"描述\": \"Do something fun such as having a treat or going out to the park to mark your achievement, but do not become complacent. \\nAll forms of motivation and encouragement are helpful to keep up the habit and stay regular with your prayers, but above all should be the desire to please Allah and attain Jannah (heaven).\\nMuslim children are taught to pray from the age of 7 and may be disciplined for not saying their 5 daily prayers from the age of 10 by gently reminding them that Jahannam (hellfire) is the destiny for those who do not pray.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Understand that it may take time.\", \"描述\": \"If you're new to praying or have recently converted, keeping regular at your prayers isn't always easy and will require a lot of effort on your part. Understand that Allah helps those who really try to worship Him, and with His will, you'll be able to establish the self-discipline of regular prayer. \\nLook into the many additional optional prayers that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) prayed regularly, that can help strengthen your connection with Allah.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to pray at the mosque daily to encourage yourself to pray regularly.\\n\", \"Make an intention every day when you wake up that you will try to pray regularly that day.\\n\", \"Avoid losing focus in your prayers and try your best to concentrate.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,093 | How to Be Reliable | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand "rely" means to depend for support, help, or supply:
This is as a young child relies on parents/caretakers for life, food, and everything else; it also means to place or have faith or confidence, as in "relied on them to tell him the truth." ~ Understand the definition of "reliable". Reliable means may be relied upon; dependable in achievement, accuracy, honesty, as in reliable information.
1-2. Understand that other terms may be used to convey the same denotation or connotation:
~ Trusty, authentic, consistent, -- sometimes considered as , -- trustworthy apply to persons, objects, ideas, or information that can be depended upon with .~ Reliable suggests working correctly and [at least] very consistent dependability of judgment, character, performance, or result: a reliable formula, judge, car -- and that implies that if a formula works correctly it is reliable; also, if a judge adjudicates and explains the law and is rarely, if ever, overruled then that is reliable. ~ Infallible suggests the complete absence of error, breakdown, or poor performance: an infallible test, system, marksman. ~ Trustworthiness suggests the steady and honest dependability which encourages one's confidence, belief, or trust: trustworthy and accurate reports.
2. Improve Skills and Abilities
2-1. Work "toward" accuracy approaching perfection or reasonableness.
An example could be to: proofread professionally for a large financial printer/publisher. And, since reliable is a synonym for , then although infallibility/perfection may be possible -- that is a necessary goal toward which to work.
Be by others such as a court, judge and jury. A jury is called the reasonable man when they attend to, deliberate and decide guilt or innocence, awards and punishments. Avoid the devastating failure of "unreliable" personnel being relied upon which may lead to errors, failures, crashes, possible deaths. The opposite of reliable is deceptive, irresponsible, unreliable, untrustworthy, unsure, uncertain, ie:
2-2. Become fully qualified:
get the best education, training and retraining. Both formal and informal education are important. All successful men self-teach, but formal education is becoming more highly regarded today, and can serve as motivation.
2-3. Learn about, obtain, and use the proper and latest protective or safety gear correctly.
This requires diligence and much practise. Prepare an emergency plan, and be expert in that area as well as work and play areas.
2-4. Update, review, and maintain records and action plans.
Planning and procedure manuals, accounting books and software or tools for productivity, computer programs and procedures in the processes of your work must be aligned or designed to fit your area of expertise.
2-5. Use experts for intervention/arbitration as needed.
Bring yourself and all members of a faculty, surgery team, nurse staff, training corps, secretaries and clerk assistants, sport team coaches and team skills in line. Keep them at as high a level of competency as possible, as they must be (to be reliable).
2-6. Learn to be expert in using the best and the right software, instruments, or tools.
3. Create Mindset and Atmosphere
3-1. Prioritize your load.
Leave your personal anger, sadness, difficulties and feelings about illness or dysfunctional, exciting/disturbing or controlling family or friends outside. Leave emotions (yours and theirs) at home. Smile, when/if that is appropriate.
3-2. Focus your concentration.
Keep fun activities of family and friends from preoccupying your mind during intensive work: and so, keep it from interfering in the planning, expediting, routing, production, deadlines, setting the company or school better/best mindset, and out of the secretarial, and assistant management team and off the sport team, to be keenly aware of any ongoing processes, etc.
3-3. Get enough rest to be able to be alert.
So, be at the top of your game and work: relax and sleep well to be able to be at your best. Cope with the effects of jet-lag (disruption of hours of sleeping and being awake). Shift your eating and going to bed earlier a few nights before leaving -- if you're traveling east, but if you're traveling west, try eating and going to bed later for a couple of nights before departing. Stay well hydrated.
3-4. Stay alert
Be sure that you are not just going through the motions, and work on having calm nerves that are able to match your designated tasks. Capacities and abilities should be honed to be confident and then relax your muscles, as desirable, and assure yourself that you are well prepared.
3-5. Be mindful
use a color, one word or a short phrase to spark and re-focus thinking of a successful and inspiring event, place or person. First you must have that experience and then use it to keep worrying reversed by replacing it with that image or thought.
Tips
Ideally, in disarming bombs, or competitions, you and your team would be highly reliable and work with the best/reliable safety, protective gear, helpers, tools, training and calmed and or alert to match the need, etc. (all, as nearly infallible as possible).
Warnings
Don't do any very critical task, if you are too tired or upset.
A brain surgery team is only as good as its least qualified participant when one slip or mistake is possibly fatal or devastating.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand \\\"rely\\\" means to depend for support, help, or supply:\\nThis is as a young child relies on parents/caretakers for life, food, and everything else; it also means to place or have faith or confidence, as in \\\"relied on them to tell him the truth.\\\" ~ Understand the definition of \\\"reliable\\\". Reliable means may be relied upon; dependable in achievement, accuracy, honesty, as in reliable information.\\n1-2. Understand that other terms may be used to convey the same denotation or connotation:\\n~ Trusty, authentic, consistent, -- sometimes considered as , -- trustworthy apply to persons, objects, ideas, or information that can be depended upon with .~ Reliable suggests working correctly and [at least] very consistent dependability of judgment, character, performance, or result: a reliable formula, judge, car -- and that implies that if a formula works correctly it is reliable; also, if a judge adjudicates and explains the law and is rarely, if ever, overruled then that is reliable. ~ Infallible suggests the complete absence of error, breakdown, or poor performance: an infallible test, system, marksman. ~ Trustworthiness suggests the steady and honest dependability which encourages one's confidence, belief, or trust: trustworthy and accurate reports.\\n2. Improve Skills and Abilities\\n2-1. Work \\\"toward\\\" accuracy approaching perfection or reasonableness.\\nAn example could be to: proofread professionally for a large financial printer/publisher. And, since reliable is a synonym for , then although infallibility/perfection may be possible -- that is a necessary goal toward which to work.\\nBe by others such as a court, judge and jury. A jury is called the reasonable man when they attend to, deliberate and decide guilt or innocence, awards and punishments. Avoid the devastating failure of \\\"unreliable\\\" personnel being relied upon which may lead to errors, failures, crashes, possible deaths. The opposite of reliable is deceptive, irresponsible, unreliable, untrustworthy, unsure, uncertain, ie:\\n2-2. Become fully qualified:\\nget the best education, training and retraining. Both formal and informal education are important. All successful men self-teach, but formal education is becoming more highly regarded today, and can serve as motivation.\\n2-3. Learn about, obtain, and use the proper and latest protective or safety gear correctly.\\nThis requires diligence and much practise. Prepare an emergency plan, and be expert in that area as well as work and play areas.\\n2-4. Update, review, and maintain records and action plans.\\nPlanning and procedure manuals, accounting books and software or tools for productivity, computer programs and procedures in the processes of your work must be aligned or designed to fit your area of expertise.\\n2-5. Use experts for intervention/arbitration as needed.\\nBring yourself and all members of a faculty, surgery team, nurse staff, training corps, secretaries and clerk assistants, sport team coaches and team skills in line. Keep them at as high a level of competency as possible, as they must be (to be reliable).\\n2-6. Learn to be expert in using the best and the right software, instruments, or tools.\\n\\n3. Create Mindset and Atmosphere\\n3-1. Prioritize your load.\\nLeave your personal anger, sadness, difficulties and feelings about illness or dysfunctional, exciting/disturbing or controlling family or friends outside. Leave emotions (yours and theirs) at home. Smile, when/if that is appropriate.\\n3-2. Focus your concentration.\\nKeep fun activities of family and friends from preoccupying your mind during intensive work: and so, keep it from interfering in the planning, expediting, routing, production, deadlines, setting the company or school better/best mindset, and out of the secretarial, and assistant management team and off the sport team, to be keenly aware of any ongoing processes, etc.\\n3-3. Get enough rest to be able to be alert.\\nSo, be at the top of your game and work: relax and sleep well to be able to be at your best. Cope with the effects of jet-lag (disruption of hours of sleeping and being awake). Shift your eating and going to bed earlier a few nights before leaving -- if you're traveling east, but if you're traveling west, try eating and going to bed later for a couple of nights before departing. Stay well hydrated.\\n3-4. Stay alert\\nBe sure that you are not just going through the motions, and work on having calm nerves that are able to match your designated tasks. Capacities and abilities should be honed to be confident and then relax your muscles, as desirable, and assure yourself that you are well prepared.\\n3-5. Be mindful\\nuse a color, one word or a short phrase to spark and re-focus thinking of a successful and inspiring event, place or person. First you must have that experience and then use it to keep worrying reversed by replacing it with that image or thought.\\nTips\\nIdeally, in disarming bombs, or competitions, you and your team would be highly reliable and work with the best/reliable safety, protective gear, helpers, tools, training and calmed and or alert to match the need, etc. (all, as nearly infallible as possible).\\nWarnings\\nDon't do any very critical task, if you are too tired or upset.\\nA brain surgery team is only as good as its least qualified participant when one slip or mistake is possibly fatal or devastating.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Beyond just being dependable, being reliable is synonymous to unerring at a high level, especially important for dangerous or very impactful kinds of work. For instance, hiring an infant's babysitter requires the parents to rely on someone for the life, safety and health of their baby. Here are some suggestions about how to be highly reliable.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand \\\"rely\\\" means to depend for support, help, or supply:\", \"描述\": \"This is as a young child relies on parents/caretakers for life, food, and everything else; it also means to place or have faith or confidence, as in \\\"relied on them to tell him the truth.\\\" ~ Understand the definition of \\\"reliable\\\". Reliable means may be relied upon; dependable in achievement, accuracy, honesty, as in reliable information.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand that other terms may be used to convey the same denotation or connotation:\", \"描述\": \"~ Trusty, authentic, consistent, -- sometimes considered as , -- trustworthy apply to persons, objects, ideas, or information that can be depended upon with .~ Reliable suggests working correctly and [at least] very consistent dependability of judgment, character, performance, or result: a reliable formula, judge, car -- and that implies that if a formula works correctly it is reliable; also, if a judge adjudicates and explains the law and is rarely, if ever, overruled then that is reliable. ~ Infallible suggests the complete absence of error, breakdown, or poor performance: an infallible test, system, marksman. ~ Trustworthiness suggests the steady and honest dependability which encourages one's confidence, belief, or trust: trustworthy and accurate reports.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improve Skills and Abilities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Work \\\"toward\\\" accuracy approaching perfection or reasonableness.\", \"描述\": \"An example could be to: proofread professionally for a large financial printer/publisher. And, since reliable is a synonym for , then although infallibility/perfection may be possible -- that is a necessary goal toward which to work.\\nBe by others such as a court, judge and jury. A jury is called the reasonable man when they attend to, deliberate and decide guilt or innocence, awards and punishments. Avoid the devastating failure of \\\"unreliable\\\" personnel being relied upon which may lead to errors, failures, crashes, possible deaths. The opposite of reliable is deceptive, irresponsible, unreliable, untrustworthy, unsure, uncertain, ie:\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become fully qualified:\", \"描述\": \"get the best education, training and retraining. Both formal and informal education are important. All successful men self-teach, but formal education is becoming more highly regarded today, and can serve as motivation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn about, obtain, and use the proper and latest protective or safety gear correctly.\", \"描述\": \"This requires diligence and much practise. Prepare an emergency plan, and be expert in that area as well as work and play areas.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Update, review, and maintain records and action plans.\", \"描述\": \"Planning and procedure manuals, accounting books and software or tools for productivity, computer programs and procedures in the processes of your work must be aligned or designed to fit your area of expertise.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use experts for intervention/arbitration as needed.\", \"描述\": \"Bring yourself and all members of a faculty, surgery team, nurse staff, training corps, secretaries and clerk assistants, sport team coaches and team skills in line. Keep them at as high a level of competency as possible, as they must be (to be reliable).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to be expert in using the best and the right software, instruments, or tools.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Create Mindset and Atmosphere\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prioritize your load.\", \"描述\": \"Leave your personal anger, sadness, difficulties and feelings about illness or dysfunctional, exciting/disturbing or controlling family or friends outside. Leave emotions (yours and theirs) at home. Smile, when/if that is appropriate.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Focus your concentration.\", \"描述\": \"Keep fun activities of family and friends from preoccupying your mind during intensive work: and so, keep it from interfering in the planning, expediting, routing, production, deadlines, setting the company or school better/best mindset, and out of the secretarial, and assistant management team and off the sport team, to be keenly aware of any ongoing processes, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get enough rest to be able to be alert.\", \"描述\": \"So, be at the top of your game and work: relax and sleep well to be able to be at your best. Cope with the effects of jet-lag (disruption of hours of sleeping and being awake). Shift your eating and going to bed earlier a few nights before leaving -- if you're traveling east, but if you're traveling west, try eating and going to bed later for a couple of nights before departing. Stay well hydrated.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay alert\", \"描述\": \"Be sure that you are not just going through the motions, and work on having calm nerves that are able to match your designated tasks. Capacities and abilities should be honed to be confident and then relax your muscles, as desirable, and assure yourself that you are well prepared.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be mindful\", \"描述\": \"use a color, one word or a short phrase to spark and re-focus thinking of a successful and inspiring event, place or person. First you must have that experience and then use it to keep worrying reversed by replacing it with that image or thought.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ideally, in disarming bombs, or competitions, you and your team would be highly reliable and work with the best/reliable safety, protective gear, helpers, tools, training and calmed and or alert to match the need, etc. (all, as nearly infallible as possible).\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't do any very critical task, if you are too tired or upset.\\n\", \"A brain surgery team is only as good as its least qualified participant when one slip or mistake is possibly fatal or devastating.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,094 | How to Be Resourceful | 1. Solving Problems
1-1. Break the rules.
Use things in unconventional ways or go against conventional wisdom or societal norms, if it will help. Be prepared to take responsibility, redress wrongs or explain yourself if you do overstep your bounds. Rules exist for a reason, but sometimes rules and tradition can hold back progress. Accomplish things, don’t just go along with how things have always been done.
Never apologize for your success. The trick is to make sure that any infractions are insignificant compared to the benefit. There are going to be times when you should apologize, but do it only for true offenses.
1-2. Improvise.
Don't box yourself into thinking a certain way. Use what you can for a temporary solution and then look for a permanent solution. Fix your bike just enough so you can get home and properly fix it later.
Experiment. Trial and error might take a while, but if you have no experience with a particular situation, it's a very good way to begin. At the very least, you will learn what does not work.
Adapt. Nothing is written in stone when it comes to solutions. Look at other examples to get inspiration but make your solution fit your particular situation. Turn challenges into advantages.
Don't be afraid to use objects in unconventional ways. Wire coat hangers can be incredibly flexible and while screwdrivers aren't really intended for chiseling, prying, pounding, scraping, etc., they'll often do in a pinch.
Don’t forget about the value of intangibles. Sunlight, gravity and good will can all act in your favor and can even be harnessed to your advantage.
1-3. Use situations to your advantage.
There are negatives and positives to every situation. Try not to focus on what is wrong or bad about it. Look at the bright side and see what you can do right now with the positive aspects.
If you missed the bus and the next one doesn't come for another hour, can you enjoy a cup of coffee or browse a nearby store while you wait? If the weather is freezing, could you use snow as shelter or ice as a building material?
If you are afraid, use fear to motivate you. It will drive you to get out of a bad situation. Harness that energy to think of a solution and take action. Emotions can be strong incentives to do things better and more efficiently, so use them wisely.
1-4. Act quickly.
Often an effective solution hinges on a speedy response. Be decisive, and once a decision is made, don't analyze–just act. You can’t solve a problem without taking some sort of action first.
Remember that not making decisions costs you, whether it results in lost earnings or revenue, a less than stellar reputation or career problems. Empty inboxes and desks that are not covered in piles of unfinished paperwork are signs of making quick decisions and taking action. When something comes your way, take care of it right away instead of letting it linger.
Making quick decisions about small matters is incredibly beneficial. Not only does it help you keep on top of everything sent your way, it also reduces stress, improves productivity and gives you a great reputation for managing your work. Let the positive aspects of quick decision-making be motivating factors for doing what needs to be done now.
Start somewhere. Putting off what you know needs to be done is not conducive to reaching your goal. Take the first step by initiating the action needed to finish that task. Then move on to another.
1-5. Learn from your mistakes.
If you had to scramble to correct a problem, take steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again. If you tried something that didn't work, try it a different way next time. See what went wrong and go from there.
Play a few hands at once. Realize that sometimes your plan might not work out. Work on multiple angles for the same problem. Have a plan B and C ready.
1-6. Ask for help.
Recognize when you need help to complete your goals. Swallow your pride and seek out people who can assist with your problem. The more you show people that working with you will also help advance their goals, the more likely you'll succeed.
Whether you need bus fare to get home, good ideas, moral support, the use of a phone or simply extra hands, involve others if you can. Even if you end up asking help of strangers, you will probably be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Brainstorming together may result in some great, joint solutions. Ask people you know and trust. Seek professional help. If it's appropriate, ask anybody in charge (authorities, employees, docents, ushers), since these people often have access to additional resources.
If one or two people are not enough, find out if you could form a team or task force. Could you persuade city hall or another organization to further your cause?
2. Developing Skills
2-1. Keep an open mind
Redefine what is and is not possible. You have unique talents that you can leverage to fulfill goals right now. Considering new possibilities is critical to taking action that will lead to success.
Being open-minded means you are willing to find value in the people, events and things you come across. Embrace different possibilities, opportunities, people, views, suggestions and experiences. Recognize that you can learn from things that are new or different. When you can think outside of the box, you can come up with innovative solutions to problems that others can't.
Say, “Yes, I can do this,” and push yourself to do what others might think is impossible. This is how people attain success when others give up on their dreams.
Get out of your comfort zone and expand your horizons. If you have never been to a different country, tried a certain food, learned another language, tried to write a book or gone skydiving, then do it. You may discover something along the way that makes your life better and helps you solve a problem.
2-2. Be confident.
You are capable of handling any problem. You already have everything you need to solve it—you! Recognizing that you are competent and adequate enough to do something is the first step to actually getting it done.
Self-confidence means you like and trust yourself. Appreciate your talents, abilities and good attributes. Know that you can problem-solve and find solutions to challenges.
Visualize being successful every day. When difficulties come your way, picture yourself overcoming them. Imagine accomplishing your goals and celebrating your successes.
Accept compliments and praise. Know that you deserve them.
Keep a diary of your successes. Write down your achievements every day. Soon you will fill the pages of this book and be able to see how much you have done. This will go a long way to help you realize you have earned the right to be confident.
2-3. Be creative.
Resourcefulness is about optimizing what you have to work with. Creativity is not just about creating something new but making old things work better as well. Think of crazy possibilities as well as practical ones. You might find inspiration for a workable solution in one of your ideas.
Think about how an experienced mechanic can do amazing things with after-market parts and a little ingenuity. The mechanic probably won’t follow a manual but can diagnose problems based on symptoms and decide what tools and materials they have on hand to fix the problem. Be like this mechanic in your situation.
Let your mind wander. Don't stop yourself from thinking something because you think it is irrelevant. Often, your thoughts will move from one idea to another and then another. You may discover an Aha! moment or insight in one of these ideas.
2-4. Be proactive.
Don’t put your dreams on hold because you’re waiting for the right resources or people to show up. If you let circumstances determine when and how you act, you will always settle for less. If an opportunity presents itself, do your best to take it. Don't overthink the opportunity or talk yourself out of it.
Be more than an idle observer. Participate actively and get involved. Being proactive means taking initiative so you can be part of any solution.
Don’t simply react to events, people, challenges and information. Engage and influence them so you can make real contributions to the situation.
2-5. Be persistent.
If you stop trying before the problem is solved, then you haven't accomplished anything. Try again, a dozen or a hundred different ways, if that's what it takes. Don't give up.
Think about what motivates you. Determine why you want to accomplish something and use that knowledge to drive you to finish.
Develop discipline. Many things will get in the way of your goal. If you practice discipline and make it a habit to do what needs to get done despite obstacles, you will reach your goal.
Never consider not succeeding right away as a failure – consider it practice, instead.
2-6. Be positive.
There is almost always a solution to a problem. See the positive in every situation. Once you develop the right attitude, it is easier to find a solution.
Think of all the times you dealt with a crisis or difficult situation and the success stories that arose from those rough times. Know that you can get through it. This is the attitude resourceful people have when trouble comes their way.
Remember that each time you overcome a problem, you become a better and stronger person. Experiences teach us things that we can pass on to others who need encouragement.
Improve yourself. Learn new things, and try to keep up with what is happening around you. Even when you become successful, learning continues and provides enrichment to your life. Learn to accept and encourage other people as well.
Identify your challenges and fears so that you can work on improving or overcoming them. If you want to improve a skill (from getting better at math to becoming more assertive to learning to throw and catch a baseball), consider what concrete action you might take to grow in this area. You could take a class at a community college to get better at math, you might buy a book on how to be assertive, or you might work with a trainer or athletic friend to help you improve your game of catch.
3. Anticipating Problems
3-1. Be prepared.
You can't anticipate everything, but you can predict many problems. The more you prepare ahead of time, the more resources you'll have when faced with a problem.
Build a tool kit and learn to use it. The more tools you have to draw on when met with a challenge, the more resourceful you can be. Depending on where you spend your time, the tools at your disposal could take the form of a true tool kit, or they could go in a purse, a survival kit, a workshop, a kitchen, an equipment truck or even your selection of camping gear. Learn to use your tools. Then, make sure you have them with you when you need them.
Practice at home. If you don't know how to change a tire, try it in your driveway before you get a flat miles away from home, in the dark, in the rain. Learn to pitch your tent in the back yard or take a short day hike to get used to your backpacking gear. Refine both your tool kit and your skills before you must put them to the test.
Anticipate likely problems and deal with them before they become problems. If you worry that you might forget your keys and lock yourself out, hide a spare key in the backyard. Attach your keys to something large and visible so you don't lose them. Coordinate with others who are coming and going so you don't accidentally lock each other out.
Practice being resourceful before the pressure is on. Try cooking a meal with whatever is on hand in the pantry rather than going out to the store. Invent what you need instead of buying it. Build or create your own, even if something is ready made and available.
3-2. Manage Your Time.
Your life is made up of time, and time is a limited resource. If you have time, use it for something productive. Make each moment matter so that it contributes in some way to your end goals.
Depending on the situation you need to overcome, you may need to work longer hours, ask for more time, enlist the time of others, or implement temporary measures while you can develop something more permanent.
Minimize distractions and interruptions. If you can control the things that get in the way of your goal, limit them. There is a time for work and for play. Remember to do both and focus on what you are doing at the time. Don't take phone calls or chat while doing work. Turn off the TV. Likewise, don't let work stress seep into your time out with friends and family.
Remember to be patient. Time is important but some things take time to happen as well. Ask the patience of others.
3-3. Communicate to others.
Decide whether there is someone you could contact who might know the answer, be able to solve or lend a hand for a certain problem before it happens. Talk about possibilities ahead of time. Imagine scenarios with knowledgeable or experienced people and brainstorm solutions with limited resources.
Human contacts can be collected as a resource in advance. Networking, formal or informal, is one way to create that collection of resources.
If possible, offer others favors before you need to ask for any yourself. Engage with others and really get to know and help them when they need it. This will increase the chance that someone will be there for you.
3-4. Make money.
Money can be a powerful asset in some situations. If you don't have money and you need it, being resourceful may consist of thinking of creative ways to raise or earn it. Also, consider solving the problem without money as well.
Ask people for money. Offer to do something in return so that the money is earned. You can hold a fundraiser if you are seeking to raise money for a good cause.
Get a job. Earning regular money is important to having a steady source of this resource. Look at the skills you have and see if you can apply them to any open positions in your area. Search online sites such as Monster.com or LinkedIn for jobs that match your qualifications. Also, search your local newspaper's classified section for places that are hiring. If there is a certain position or company you want to work for, look at their website or go in and ask what open positions are available.
Go back to school. This may be a longer route to obtaining money but if you're end goal is to earn a decent salary, then this may be the best option for you.
4. Assessing the Situation
4-1. Evaluate the situation.
When a challenging situation comes your way, try to clarify and define the problem as best you can. It is easy to get overwhelmed by emotion, confabulate the problem and lose sight of solutions. When you can determine what the real issue is, you can come up with a plan to improve it.
Think about the problem. How severe is it? Is this truly a crisis or merely an inconvenience or a setback? Does it need to be addressed immediately, or can it wait for an appropriate solution to be developed? The more urgent the situation, the more creative you'll have to be.
Ask yourself what the nature of the problem is. What is really needed? For instance, do you need to unlock the door, or do you need to get in or out? These are two different problems, since the latter might be accomplished by passing through a window, by climbing over or under a wall, by going around the back way or by removing the hinge pins in the door. For that matter, do you need access at all, or could you get what you need somewhere else?
Don't panic. Pressure may be a good motivator, but not if it's clouding your thinking. Think about why you can't just give up on this and that will give you the edge for the persistence you need to succeed.
Finding a solution to the problem is better than worrying. This can be learned by training your mind to focus on solutions each time you start worrying. Calm yourself first, think clearly before taking any action.
4-2. Assess what is available to you.
Being resourceful is, above all, about being clever and finding creative use of your current resources. Do you have access to, or could you obtain, anything that might help with the situation? Don't forget that resources aren't all objects—consider skills, people or emotional states as well.
Try working backwards. Take stock of what you have available, including objects, resources, knowledge, people and opportunities. Then consider how you can apply it to the problem.
4-3. Set goals.
Resourceful people seek challenges to overcome, goals to achieve and a dream to work toward. Meet small daily objectives that add up to your larger dream. Over time, you will get closer and closer to making your dream a reality.
Keep in mind that every day is a chance for you to influence what you want your life to be.
Remember to be happy with the life you have now and recognize your progress. Your life today is important because no one knows what might happen tomorrow. Keep one eye on your goals but enjoy the here and now.
Start small. Everyone starts with something, no matter how small. Small results will grow with time and continued effort. If its money you need, save what is available now as often as you can. Even regular smaller contributions will make a big difference a year later.
Follow through. You won’t know how it’s going to turn out unless you see it through to find out what the results will be.
4-4. Pick out specifics.
Thinking about the big picture can give you perspective—but sometimes you need to focus on details or steps instead. Decide what you can do in the short term so you can take action and be more productive. Revise specific tasks, roles and responsibilities toward your goals, such as simplicity, savings or risks.
Seek information. Has somebody solved a similar problem before? How does the thing (or system or situation) work that you are trying to deal with? Which way is home from here? Whom can you contact, and how? What steps do you need to take to build a fire?
Researching and reading is very helpful. Keeping up with important events and information can help you in the future. Focus on something you find interesting or useful and look for different links that are related to the topic or idea so that you can master it.
Mine your own resources. Know the difference between seeking resources and being resourceful. When the tools and resources you need are within your reach, things tend to work out. Being resourceful means you make the most of the resources you can find.
Recognize that you don’t know it all. Be prepared to learn from others, even from someone you think wouldn’t know something you don’t.
Tips
Don't dwell on the past. If the root cause or original problem is something you can't fix, simply work to recover as best you can.
If you've jerry-rigged something to get through an immediate difficulty, make sure to do a proper job of repairing it as soon as possible.
Keep in mind what resources you have. Sometimes, the most resourceful solution to a problem is found through creatively combining the resources you have at your fingertips.
Warnings
In case of a true emergency (an immediate threat to life or property), usually the best and most resourceful thing you can do is to summon the appropriate authorities, give them the information they need to do their jobs and then stay out of the way.
Make sure you know what you are doing. Otherwise, you could make a new problem entirely.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Solving Problems\\n1-1. Break the rules.\\nUse things in unconventional ways or go against conventional wisdom or societal norms, if it will help. Be prepared to take responsibility, redress wrongs or explain yourself if you do overstep your bounds. Rules exist for a reason, but sometimes rules and tradition can hold back progress. Accomplish things, don’t just go along with how things have always been done. \\nNever apologize for your success. The trick is to make sure that any infractions are insignificant compared to the benefit. There are going to be times when you should apologize, but do it only for true offenses.\\n1-2. Improvise.\\nDon't box yourself into thinking a certain way. Use what you can for a temporary solution and then look for a permanent solution. Fix your bike just enough so you can get home and properly fix it later.\\nExperiment. Trial and error might take a while, but if you have no experience with a particular situation, it's a very good way to begin. At the very least, you will learn what does not work.\\nAdapt. Nothing is written in stone when it comes to solutions. Look at other examples to get inspiration but make your solution fit your particular situation. Turn challenges into advantages.\\nDon't be afraid to use objects in unconventional ways. Wire coat hangers can be incredibly flexible and while screwdrivers aren't really intended for chiseling, prying, pounding, scraping, etc., they'll often do in a pinch.\\nDon’t forget about the value of intangibles. Sunlight, gravity and good will can all act in your favor and can even be harnessed to your advantage.\\n1-3. Use situations to your advantage.\\nThere are negatives and positives to every situation. Try not to focus on what is wrong or bad about it. Look at the bright side and see what you can do right now with the positive aspects.\\nIf you missed the bus and the next one doesn't come for another hour, can you enjoy a cup of coffee or browse a nearby store while you wait? If the weather is freezing, could you use snow as shelter or ice as a building material?\\nIf you are afraid, use fear to motivate you. It will drive you to get out of a bad situation. Harness that energy to think of a solution and take action. Emotions can be strong incentives to do things better and more efficiently, so use them wisely.\\n1-4. Act quickly.\\nOften an effective solution hinges on a speedy response. Be decisive, and once a decision is made, don't analyze–just act. You can’t solve a problem without taking some sort of action first.\\nRemember that not making decisions costs you, whether it results in lost earnings or revenue, a less than stellar reputation or career problems. Empty inboxes and desks that are not covered in piles of unfinished paperwork are signs of making quick decisions and taking action. When something comes your way, take care of it right away instead of letting it linger.\\nMaking quick decisions about small matters is incredibly beneficial. Not only does it help you keep on top of everything sent your way, it also reduces stress, improves productivity and gives you a great reputation for managing your work. Let the positive aspects of quick decision-making be motivating factors for doing what needs to be done now.\\nStart somewhere. Putting off what you know needs to be done is not conducive to reaching your goal. Take the first step by initiating the action needed to finish that task. Then move on to another.\\n1-5. Learn from your mistakes.\\nIf you had to scramble to correct a problem, take steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again. If you tried something that didn't work, try it a different way next time. See what went wrong and go from there.\\nPlay a few hands at once. Realize that sometimes your plan might not work out. Work on multiple angles for the same problem. Have a plan B and C ready.\\n1-6. Ask for help.\\nRecognize when you need help to complete your goals. Swallow your pride and seek out people who can assist with your problem. The more you show people that working with you will also help advance their goals, the more likely you'll succeed.\\nWhether you need bus fare to get home, good ideas, moral support, the use of a phone or simply extra hands, involve others if you can. Even if you end up asking help of strangers, you will probably be pleasantly surprised by the results.\\nBrainstorming together may result in some great, joint solutions. Ask people you know and trust. Seek professional help. If it's appropriate, ask anybody in charge (authorities, employees, docents, ushers), since these people often have access to additional resources.\\nIf one or two people are not enough, find out if you could form a team or task force. Could you persuade city hall or another organization to further your cause?\\n2. Developing Skills\\n2-1. Keep an open mind\\nRedefine what is and is not possible. You have unique talents that you can leverage to fulfill goals right now. Considering new possibilities is critical to taking action that will lead to success.\\nBeing open-minded means you are willing to find value in the people, events and things you come across. Embrace different possibilities, opportunities, people, views, suggestions and experiences. Recognize that you can learn from things that are new or different. When you can think outside of the box, you can come up with innovative solutions to problems that others can't.\\nSay, “Yes, I can do this,” and push yourself to do what others might think is impossible. This is how people attain success when others give up on their dreams.\\nGet out of your comfort zone and expand your horizons. If you have never been to a different country, tried a certain food, learned another language, tried to write a book or gone skydiving, then do it. You may discover something along the way that makes your life better and helps you solve a problem.\\n2-2. Be confident.\\nYou are capable of handling any problem. You already have everything you need to solve it—you! Recognizing that you are competent and adequate enough to do something is the first step to actually getting it done.\\nSelf-confidence means you like and trust yourself. Appreciate your talents, abilities and good attributes. Know that you can problem-solve and find solutions to challenges.\\nVisualize being successful every day. When difficulties come your way, picture yourself overcoming them. Imagine accomplishing your goals and celebrating your successes.\\nAccept compliments and praise. Know that you deserve them.\\nKeep a diary of your successes. Write down your achievements every day. Soon you will fill the pages of this book and be able to see how much you have done. This will go a long way to help you realize you have earned the right to be confident.\\n2-3. Be creative.\\nResourcefulness is about optimizing what you have to work with. Creativity is not just about creating something new but making old things work better as well. Think of crazy possibilities as well as practical ones. You might find inspiration for a workable solution in one of your ideas.\\nThink about how an experienced mechanic can do amazing things with after-market parts and a little ingenuity. The mechanic probably won’t follow a manual but can diagnose problems based on symptoms and decide what tools and materials they have on hand to fix the problem. Be like this mechanic in your situation.\\nLet your mind wander. Don't stop yourself from thinking something because you think it is irrelevant. Often, your thoughts will move from one idea to another and then another. You may discover an Aha! moment or insight in one of these ideas.\\n2-4. Be proactive.\\nDon’t put your dreams on hold because you’re waiting for the right resources or people to show up. If you let circumstances determine when and how you act, you will always settle for less. If an opportunity presents itself, do your best to take it. Don't overthink the opportunity or talk yourself out of it.\\nBe more than an idle observer. Participate actively and get involved. Being proactive means taking initiative so you can be part of any solution.\\nDon’t simply react to events, people, challenges and information. Engage and influence them so you can make real contributions to the situation.\\n2-5. Be persistent.\\nIf you stop trying before the problem is solved, then you haven't accomplished anything. Try again, a dozen or a hundred different ways, if that's what it takes. Don't give up.\\nThink about what motivates you. Determine why you want to accomplish something and use that knowledge to drive you to finish.\\nDevelop discipline. Many things will get in the way of your goal. If you practice discipline and make it a habit to do what needs to get done despite obstacles, you will reach your goal.\\nNever consider not succeeding right away as a failure – consider it practice, instead.\\n2-6. Be positive.\\nThere is almost always a solution to a problem. See the positive in every situation. Once you develop the right attitude, it is easier to find a solution.\\nThink of all the times you dealt with a crisis or difficult situation and the success stories that arose from those rough times. Know that you can get through it. This is the attitude resourceful people have when trouble comes their way.\\nRemember that each time you overcome a problem, you become a better and stronger person. Experiences teach us things that we can pass on to others who need encouragement.\\nImprove yourself. Learn new things, and try to keep up with what is happening around you. Even when you become successful, learning continues and provides enrichment to your life. Learn to accept and encourage other people as well.\\nIdentify your challenges and fears so that you can work on improving or overcoming them. If you want to improve a skill (from getting better at math to becoming more assertive to learning to throw and catch a baseball), consider what concrete action you might take to grow in this area. You could take a class at a community college to get better at math, you might buy a book on how to be assertive, or you might work with a trainer or athletic friend to help you improve your game of catch.\\n3. Anticipating Problems\\n3-1. Be prepared.\\nYou can't anticipate everything, but you can predict many problems. The more you prepare ahead of time, the more resources you'll have when faced with a problem.\\nBuild a tool kit and learn to use it. The more tools you have to draw on when met with a challenge, the more resourceful you can be. Depending on where you spend your time, the tools at your disposal could take the form of a true tool kit, or they could go in a purse, a survival kit, a workshop, a kitchen, an equipment truck or even your selection of camping gear. Learn to use your tools. Then, make sure you have them with you when you need them.\\nPractice at home. If you don't know how to change a tire, try it in your driveway before you get a flat miles away from home, in the dark, in the rain. Learn to pitch your tent in the back yard or take a short day hike to get used to your backpacking gear. Refine both your tool kit and your skills before you must put them to the test.\\nAnticipate likely problems and deal with them before they become problems. If you worry that you might forget your keys and lock yourself out, hide a spare key in the backyard. Attach your keys to something large and visible so you don't lose them. Coordinate with others who are coming and going so you don't accidentally lock each other out.\\nPractice being resourceful before the pressure is on. Try cooking a meal with whatever is on hand in the pantry rather than going out to the store. Invent what you need instead of buying it. Build or create your own, even if something is ready made and available.\\n3-2. Manage Your Time.\\nYour life is made up of time, and time is a limited resource. If you have time, use it for something productive. Make each moment matter so that it contributes in some way to your end goals.\\nDepending on the situation you need to overcome, you may need to work longer hours, ask for more time, enlist the time of others, or implement temporary measures while you can develop something more permanent.\\nMinimize distractions and interruptions. If you can control the things that get in the way of your goal, limit them. There is a time for work and for play. Remember to do both and focus on what you are doing at the time. Don't take phone calls or chat while doing work. Turn off the TV. Likewise, don't let work stress seep into your time out with friends and family.\\nRemember to be patient. Time is important but some things take time to happen as well. Ask the patience of others.\\n3-3. Communicate to others.\\nDecide whether there is someone you could contact who might know the answer, be able to solve or lend a hand for a certain problem before it happens. Talk about possibilities ahead of time. Imagine scenarios with knowledgeable or experienced people and brainstorm solutions with limited resources.\\nHuman contacts can be collected as a resource in advance. Networking, formal or informal, is one way to create that collection of resources.\\nIf possible, offer others favors before you need to ask for any yourself. Engage with others and really get to know and help them when they need it. This will increase the chance that someone will be there for you.\\n3-4. Make money.\\nMoney can be a powerful asset in some situations. If you don't have money and you need it, being resourceful may consist of thinking of creative ways to raise or earn it. Also, consider solving the problem without money as well.\\nAsk people for money. Offer to do something in return so that the money is earned. You can hold a fundraiser if you are seeking to raise money for a good cause.\\nGet a job. Earning regular money is important to having a steady source of this resource. Look at the skills you have and see if you can apply them to any open positions in your area. Search online sites such as Monster.com or LinkedIn for jobs that match your qualifications. Also, search your local newspaper's classified section for places that are hiring. If there is a certain position or company you want to work for, look at their website or go in and ask what open positions are available.\\nGo back to school. This may be a longer route to obtaining money but if you're end goal is to earn a decent salary, then this may be the best option for you.\\n4. Assessing the Situation\\n4-1. Evaluate the situation.\\nWhen a challenging situation comes your way, try to clarify and define the problem as best you can. It is easy to get overwhelmed by emotion, confabulate the problem and lose sight of solutions. When you can determine what the real issue is, you can come up with a plan to improve it.\\nThink about the problem. How severe is it? Is this truly a crisis or merely an inconvenience or a setback? Does it need to be addressed immediately, or can it wait for an appropriate solution to be developed? The more urgent the situation, the more creative you'll have to be.\\nAsk yourself what the nature of the problem is. What is really needed? For instance, do you need to unlock the door, or do you need to get in or out? These are two different problems, since the latter might be accomplished by passing through a window, by climbing over or under a wall, by going around the back way or by removing the hinge pins in the door. For that matter, do you need access at all, or could you get what you need somewhere else?\\nDon't panic. Pressure may be a good motivator, but not if it's clouding your thinking. Think about why you can't just give up on this and that will give you the edge for the persistence you need to succeed.\\nFinding a solution to the problem is better than worrying. This can be learned by training your mind to focus on solutions each time you start worrying. Calm yourself first, think clearly before taking any action.\\n4-2. Assess what is available to you.\\nBeing resourceful is, above all, about being clever and finding creative use of your current resources. Do you have access to, or could you obtain, anything that might help with the situation? Don't forget that resources aren't all objects—consider skills, people or emotional states as well.\\nTry working backwards. Take stock of what you have available, including objects, resources, knowledge, people and opportunities. Then consider how you can apply it to the problem.\\n4-3. Set goals.\\nResourceful people seek challenges to overcome, goals to achieve and a dream to work toward. Meet small daily objectives that add up to your larger dream. Over time, you will get closer and closer to making your dream a reality.\\nKeep in mind that every day is a chance for you to influence what you want your life to be.\\nRemember to be happy with the life you have now and recognize your progress. Your life today is important because no one knows what might happen tomorrow. Keep one eye on your goals but enjoy the here and now.\\nStart small. Everyone starts with something, no matter how small. Small results will grow with time and continued effort. If its money you need, save what is available now as often as you can. Even regular smaller contributions will make a big difference a year later.\\nFollow through. You won’t know how it’s going to turn out unless you see it through to find out what the results will be.\\n4-4. Pick out specifics.\\nThinking about the big picture can give you perspective—but sometimes you need to focus on details or steps instead. Decide what you can do in the short term so you can take action and be more productive. Revise specific tasks, roles and responsibilities toward your goals, such as simplicity, savings or risks.\\nSeek information. Has somebody solved a similar problem before? How does the thing (or system or situation) work that you are trying to deal with? Which way is home from here? Whom can you contact, and how? What steps do you need to take to build a fire?\\nResearching and reading is very helpful. Keeping up with important events and information can help you in the future. Focus on something you find interesting or useful and look for different links that are related to the topic or idea so that you can master it.\\nMine your own resources. Know the difference between seeking resources and being resourceful. When the tools and resources you need are within your reach, things tend to work out. Being resourceful means you make the most of the resources you can find.\\nRecognize that you don’t know it all. Be prepared to learn from others, even from someone you think wouldn’t know something you don’t.\\nTips\\nDon't dwell on the past. If the root cause or original problem is something you can't fix, simply work to recover as best you can.\\nIf you've jerry-rigged something to get through an immediate difficulty, make sure to do a proper job of repairing it as soon as possible.\\nKeep in mind what resources you have. Sometimes, the most resourceful solution to a problem is found through creatively combining the resources you have at your fingertips.\\nWarnings\\nIn case of a true emergency (an immediate threat to life or property), usually the best and most resourceful thing you can do is to summon the appropriate authorities, give them the information they need to do their jobs and then stay out of the way.\\nMake sure you know what you are doing. Otherwise, you could make a new problem entirely.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Life doesn't always hand us solutions to go with the problems we encounter. If you're in a pinch, whether you're at work or in a social setting, sometimes all you need is a bit of creativity to get through it. Being resourceful means solving problems with what you have and doing more with less. Here are the best ways to develop resourcefulness and key examples of ways you can start being more resourceful in your daily life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Solving Problems\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Break the rules.\", \"描述\": \"Use things in unconventional ways or go against conventional wisdom or societal norms, if it will help. Be prepared to take responsibility, redress wrongs or explain yourself if you do overstep your bounds. Rules exist for a reason, but sometimes rules and tradition can hold back progress. Accomplish things, don’t just go along with how things have always been done. \\nNever apologize for your success. The trick is to make sure that any infractions are insignificant compared to the benefit. There are going to be times when you should apologize, but do it only for true offenses.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Improvise.\", \"描述\": \"Don't box yourself into thinking a certain way. Use what you can for a temporary solution and then look for a permanent solution. Fix your bike just enough so you can get home and properly fix it later.\\nExperiment. Trial and error might take a while, but if you have no experience with a particular situation, it's a very good way to begin. At the very least, you will learn what does not work.\\nAdapt. Nothing is written in stone when it comes to solutions. Look at other examples to get inspiration but make your solution fit your particular situation. Turn challenges into advantages.\\nDon't be afraid to use objects in unconventional ways. Wire coat hangers can be incredibly flexible and while screwdrivers aren't really intended for chiseling, prying, pounding, scraping, etc., they'll often do in a pinch.\\nDon’t forget about the value of intangibles. Sunlight, gravity and good will can all act in your favor and can even be harnessed to your advantage.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use situations to your advantage.\", \"描述\": \"There are negatives and positives to every situation. Try not to focus on what is wrong or bad about it. Look at the bright side and see what you can do right now with the positive aspects.\\nIf you missed the bus and the next one doesn't come for another hour, can you enjoy a cup of coffee or browse a nearby store while you wait? If the weather is freezing, could you use snow as shelter or ice as a building material?\\nIf you are afraid, use fear to motivate you. It will drive you to get out of a bad situation. Harness that energy to think of a solution and take action. Emotions can be strong incentives to do things better and more efficiently, so use them wisely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Act quickly.\", \"描述\": \"Often an effective solution hinges on a speedy response. Be decisive, and once a decision is made, don't analyze–just act. You can’t solve a problem without taking some sort of action first.\\nRemember that not making decisions costs you, whether it results in lost earnings or revenue, a less than stellar reputation or career problems. Empty inboxes and desks that are not covered in piles of unfinished paperwork are signs of making quick decisions and taking action. When something comes your way, take care of it right away instead of letting it linger.\\nMaking quick decisions about small matters is incredibly beneficial. Not only does it help you keep on top of everything sent your way, it also reduces stress, improves productivity and gives you a great reputation for managing your work. Let the positive aspects of quick decision-making be motivating factors for doing what needs to be done now.\\nStart somewhere. Putting off what you know needs to be done is not conducive to reaching your goal. Take the first step by initiating the action needed to finish that task. Then move on to another.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn from your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"If you had to scramble to correct a problem, take steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again. If you tried something that didn't work, try it a different way next time. See what went wrong and go from there.\\nPlay a few hands at once. Realize that sometimes your plan might not work out. Work on multiple angles for the same problem. Have a plan B and C ready.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for help.\", \"描述\": \"Recognize when you need help to complete your goals. Swallow your pride and seek out people who can assist with your problem. The more you show people that working with you will also help advance their goals, the more likely you'll succeed.\\nWhether you need bus fare to get home, good ideas, moral support, the use of a phone or simply extra hands, involve others if you can. Even if you end up asking help of strangers, you will probably be pleasantly surprised by the results.\\nBrainstorming together may result in some great, joint solutions. Ask people you know and trust. Seek professional help. If it's appropriate, ask anybody in charge (authorities, employees, docents, ushers), since these people often have access to additional resources.\\nIf one or two people are not enough, find out if you could form a team or task force. Could you persuade city hall or another organization to further your cause?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing Skills\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep an open mind\", \"描述\": \"Redefine what is and is not possible. You have unique talents that you can leverage to fulfill goals right now. Considering new possibilities is critical to taking action that will lead to success.\\nBeing open-minded means you are willing to find value in the people, events and things you come across. Embrace different possibilities, opportunities, people, views, suggestions and experiences. Recognize that you can learn from things that are new or different. When you can think outside of the box, you can come up with innovative solutions to problems that others can't.\\nSay, “Yes, I can do this,” and push yourself to do what others might think is impossible. This is how people attain success when others give up on their dreams.\\nGet out of your comfort zone and expand your horizons. If you have never been to a different country, tried a certain food, learned another language, tried to write a book or gone skydiving, then do it. You may discover something along the way that makes your life better and helps you solve a problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"You are capable of handling any problem. You already have everything you need to solve it—you! Recognizing that you are competent and adequate enough to do something is the first step to actually getting it done.\\nSelf-confidence means you like and trust yourself. Appreciate your talents, abilities and good attributes. Know that you can problem-solve and find solutions to challenges.\\nVisualize being successful every day. When difficulties come your way, picture yourself overcoming them. Imagine accomplishing your goals and celebrating your successes.\\nAccept compliments and praise. Know that you deserve them.\\nKeep a diary of your successes. Write down your achievements every day. Soon you will fill the pages of this book and be able to see how much you have done. This will go a long way to help you realize you have earned the right to be confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be creative.\", \"描述\": \"Resourcefulness is about optimizing what you have to work with. Creativity is not just about creating something new but making old things work better as well. Think of crazy possibilities as well as practical ones. You might find inspiration for a workable solution in one of your ideas.\\nThink about how an experienced mechanic can do amazing things with after-market parts and a little ingenuity. The mechanic probably won’t follow a manual but can diagnose problems based on symptoms and decide what tools and materials they have on hand to fix the problem. Be like this mechanic in your situation.\\nLet your mind wander. Don't stop yourself from thinking something because you think it is irrelevant. Often, your thoughts will move from one idea to another and then another. You may discover an Aha! moment or insight in one of these ideas.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be proactive.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t put your dreams on hold because you’re waiting for the right resources or people to show up. If you let circumstances determine when and how you act, you will always settle for less. If an opportunity presents itself, do your best to take it. Don't overthink the opportunity or talk yourself out of it.\\nBe more than an idle observer. Participate actively and get involved. Being proactive means taking initiative so you can be part of any solution.\\nDon’t simply react to events, people, challenges and information. Engage and influence them so you can make real contributions to the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be persistent.\", \"描述\": \"If you stop trying before the problem is solved, then you haven't accomplished anything. Try again, a dozen or a hundred different ways, if that's what it takes. Don't give up.\\nThink about what motivates you. Determine why you want to accomplish something and use that knowledge to drive you to finish.\\nDevelop discipline. Many things will get in the way of your goal. If you practice discipline and make it a habit to do what needs to get done despite obstacles, you will reach your goal.\\nNever consider not succeeding right away as a failure – consider it practice, instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be positive.\", \"描述\": \"There is almost always a solution to a problem. See the positive in every situation. Once you develop the right attitude, it is easier to find a solution.\\nThink of all the times you dealt with a crisis or difficult situation and the success stories that arose from those rough times. Know that you can get through it. This is the attitude resourceful people have when trouble comes their way.\\nRemember that each time you overcome a problem, you become a better and stronger person. Experiences teach us things that we can pass on to others who need encouragement.\\nImprove yourself. Learn new things, and try to keep up with what is happening around you. Even when you become successful, learning continues and provides enrichment to your life. Learn to accept and encourage other people as well.\\nIdentify your challenges and fears so that you can work on improving or overcoming them. If you want to improve a skill (from getting better at math to becoming more assertive to learning to throw and catch a baseball), consider what concrete action you might take to grow in this area. You could take a class at a community college to get better at math, you might buy a book on how to be assertive, or you might work with a trainer or athletic friend to help you improve your game of catch.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Anticipating Problems\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be prepared.\", \"描述\": \"You can't anticipate everything, but you can predict many problems. The more you prepare ahead of time, the more resources you'll have when faced with a problem.\\nBuild a tool kit and learn to use it. The more tools you have to draw on when met with a challenge, the more resourceful you can be. Depending on where you spend your time, the tools at your disposal could take the form of a true tool kit, or they could go in a purse, a survival kit, a workshop, a kitchen, an equipment truck or even your selection of camping gear. Learn to use your tools. Then, make sure you have them with you when you need them.\\nPractice at home. If you don't know how to change a tire, try it in your driveway before you get a flat miles away from home, in the dark, in the rain. Learn to pitch your tent in the back yard or take a short day hike to get used to your backpacking gear. Refine both your tool kit and your skills before you must put them to the test.\\nAnticipate likely problems and deal with them before they become problems. If you worry that you might forget your keys and lock yourself out, hide a spare key in the backyard. Attach your keys to something large and visible so you don't lose them. Coordinate with others who are coming and going so you don't accidentally lock each other out.\\nPractice being resourceful before the pressure is on. Try cooking a meal with whatever is on hand in the pantry rather than going out to the store. Invent what you need instead of buying it. Build or create your own, even if something is ready made and available.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Manage Your Time.\", \"描述\": \"Your life is made up of time, and time is a limited resource. If you have time, use it for something productive. Make each moment matter so that it contributes in some way to your end goals.\\nDepending on the situation you need to overcome, you may need to work longer hours, ask for more time, enlist the time of others, or implement temporary measures while you can develop something more permanent.\\nMinimize distractions and interruptions. If you can control the things that get in the way of your goal, limit them. There is a time for work and for play. Remember to do both and focus on what you are doing at the time. Don't take phone calls or chat while doing work. Turn off the TV. Likewise, don't let work stress seep into your time out with friends and family.\\nRemember to be patient. Time is important but some things take time to happen as well. Ask the patience of others.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Communicate to others.\", \"描述\": \"Decide whether there is someone you could contact who might know the answer, be able to solve or lend a hand for a certain problem before it happens. Talk about possibilities ahead of time. Imagine scenarios with knowledgeable or experienced people and brainstorm solutions with limited resources.\\nHuman contacts can be collected as a resource in advance. Networking, formal or informal, is one way to create that collection of resources.\\nIf possible, offer others favors before you need to ask for any yourself. Engage with others and really get to know and help them when they need it. This will increase the chance that someone will be there for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make money.\", \"描述\": \"Money can be a powerful asset in some situations. If you don't have money and you need it, being resourceful may consist of thinking of creative ways to raise or earn it. Also, consider solving the problem without money as well.\\nAsk people for money. Offer to do something in return so that the money is earned. You can hold a fundraiser if you are seeking to raise money for a good cause.\\nGet a job. Earning regular money is important to having a steady source of this resource. Look at the skills you have and see if you can apply them to any open positions in your area. Search online sites such as Monster.com or LinkedIn for jobs that match your qualifications. Also, search your local newspaper's classified section for places that are hiring. If there is a certain position or company you want to work for, look at their website or go in and ask what open positions are available.\\nGo back to school. This may be a longer route to obtaining money but if you're end goal is to earn a decent salary, then this may be the best option for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Assessing the Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the situation.\", \"描述\": \"When a challenging situation comes your way, try to clarify and define the problem as best you can. It is easy to get overwhelmed by emotion, confabulate the problem and lose sight of solutions. When you can determine what the real issue is, you can come up with a plan to improve it.\\nThink about the problem. How severe is it? Is this truly a crisis or merely an inconvenience or a setback? Does it need to be addressed immediately, or can it wait for an appropriate solution to be developed? The more urgent the situation, the more creative you'll have to be.\\nAsk yourself what the nature of the problem is. What is really needed? For instance, do you need to unlock the door, or do you need to get in or out? These are two different problems, since the latter might be accomplished by passing through a window, by climbing over or under a wall, by going around the back way or by removing the hinge pins in the door. For that matter, do you need access at all, or could you get what you need somewhere else?\\nDon't panic. Pressure may be a good motivator, but not if it's clouding your thinking. Think about why you can't just give up on this and that will give you the edge for the persistence you need to succeed.\\nFinding a solution to the problem is better than worrying. This can be learned by training your mind to focus on solutions each time you start worrying. Calm yourself first, think clearly before taking any action.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess what is available to you.\", \"描述\": \"Being resourceful is, above all, about being clever and finding creative use of your current resources. Do you have access to, or could you obtain, anything that might help with the situation? Don't forget that resources aren't all objects—consider skills, people or emotional states as well.\\nTry working backwards. Take stock of what you have available, including objects, resources, knowledge, people and opportunities. Then consider how you can apply it to the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set goals.\", \"描述\": \"Resourceful people seek challenges to overcome, goals to achieve and a dream to work toward. Meet small daily objectives that add up to your larger dream. Over time, you will get closer and closer to making your dream a reality.\\nKeep in mind that every day is a chance for you to influence what you want your life to be.\\nRemember to be happy with the life you have now and recognize your progress. Your life today is important because no one knows what might happen tomorrow. Keep one eye on your goals but enjoy the here and now.\\nStart small. Everyone starts with something, no matter how small. Small results will grow with time and continued effort. If its money you need, save what is available now as often as you can. Even regular smaller contributions will make a big difference a year later.\\nFollow through. You won’t know how it’s going to turn out unless you see it through to find out what the results will be.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick out specifics.\", \"描述\": \"Thinking about the big picture can give you perspective—but sometimes you need to focus on details or steps instead. Decide what you can do in the short term so you can take action and be more productive. Revise specific tasks, roles and responsibilities toward your goals, such as simplicity, savings or risks.\\nSeek information. Has somebody solved a similar problem before? How does the thing (or system or situation) work that you are trying to deal with? Which way is home from here? Whom can you contact, and how? What steps do you need to take to build a fire?\\nResearching and reading is very helpful. Keeping up with important events and information can help you in the future. Focus on something you find interesting or useful and look for different links that are related to the topic or idea so that you can master it.\\nMine your own resources. Know the difference between seeking resources and being resourceful. When the tools and resources you need are within your reach, things tend to work out. Being resourceful means you make the most of the resources you can find.\\nRecognize that you don’t know it all. Be prepared to learn from others, even from someone you think wouldn’t know something you don’t.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't dwell on the past. If the root cause or original problem is something you can't fix, simply work to recover as best you can.\\n\", \"If you've jerry-rigged something to get through an immediate difficulty, make sure to do a proper job of repairing it as soon as possible.\\n\", \"Keep in mind what resources you have. Sometimes, the most resourceful solution to a problem is found through creatively combining the resources you have at your fingertips.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"In case of a true emergency (an immediate threat to life or property), usually the best and most resourceful thing you can do is to summon the appropriate authorities, give them the information they need to do their jobs and then stay out of the way.\\n\", \"Make sure you know what you are doing. Otherwise, you could make a new problem entirely.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,095 | How to Be Respected | 1. Being a Leader
1-1. Excel at communication.
Speak warmly and engage those whom you are speaking to. Be able to speak comfortably about a wide range of topics. Avoid vulgar and poor language, as well as using words like “um” or “like” to punctuate your sentences.
Communication isn’t just talking – it’s about listening, as well. Incessant talking isn’t the mark of a respected person. Try to truly listen to others and be genuinely engaged so you become more trustworthy.
Take a moment to think before you speak.
1-2. Keep your emotions in check.
Remain calm in tense situations and speak in a calm, relaxed voice. Strive to act, rather than react emotionally. Diffuse bad situations whenever possible, and take a moment to think before instantly reacting to a negative provocation.
Well-respected people know how to keep their cool under tense conditions.
During arguments, hold your temper to prevent escalations, and if someone raises their voice at you, respond calmly.
1-3. Control your body language.
Stand up straight, look people directly in the eye, and speak in a steady, composed voice when in conversation. These things exude confidence, which people very much respect.
Conversely, slouching, mumbling and being afraid of eye contact communicates to others that you aren’t confident in yourself. Self-confidence is respected.
1-4. Solve problems.
When faced with a problem, do not react emotionally or with visible frustration. Instead, focus on addressing the problem and looking for ways to solve it. Try not to complain or get angry, since neither of those things are going to help the situation.
When others see you calmly find a solution to a problem rather than react angrily or emotionally, they will respect your composure and appreciate your readiness to remedy the situation.
1-5. Take pride in your appearance.
Always practice good hygiene and make sure your clothes are neat and clean. Take the time to be well-groomed. Keep your nails trimmed, shower daily and always brush and floss your teeth.
Being poorly groomed usually sends a negative message to others about your self-worth.
If you don’t respect yourself and your appearance, it will be very difficult to gain the respect of others.
2. Standing Up For Yourself
2-1. Say “no” more often.
People often believe that taking on more projects and responsibilities will make others respect them, but that’s not the case. You can’t agree to every opportunity or request presented to you. Saying no shows others that you value your own time and care more about delivering quality results over quantity.
The delivery of the message is just as important as the message itself. Be polite, frank, and decline with a smile. It’s not personal, you just don’t have the time to take on anything extra right now.
Don’t feel guilty about saying no when you have to. Feel good about standing up for yourself.
2-2. Have an opinion.
. Whether it’s an idea, a thought, or a protest, avoid remaining passive if you have something to say. Don’t be afraid of voicing your opinions and bringing ideas to the table, even if it makes you a little nervous. People appreciate when someone has the guts to say what they think.
Avoid being passive-aggressive about your opinions. Be more direct with what your intentions and thoughts are. Just be mindful of other cultures’ boundaries.
If you aren’t used to speaking up, try practicing what you want to say beforehand.
Voicing your opinions doesn’t mean verbally passing judgment on everything going on around you. Voice your opinions when they matter.
2-3. Stop being too nice
You can be kind to others without constantly having to do things for them. No one respects a pushover. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of because you’re nice shows others that you don’t respect yourself.
Establish boundaries so others know what behavior is acceptable to you. Be assertive with your choices.
Being too nice can also have the undesired effect of people thinking you are fake and disingenuous.
2-4. Quit apologizing.
The only time you need to apologize is when you’ve done something wrong. Unfortunately, many people get in the habit of saying “sorry” almost automatically, without even thinking about it.
Reserve your apologies for situations that actually call for them.
Stop taking the blame for every little thing that goes wrong around you.
2-5. Say something when you’re being mistreated.
If you are being taken advantage of or mistreated, you don’t have to resign yourself to enduring it silently. Stand up for yourself. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean lashing out in response – that will only make things worse. Instead, be tactful and polite when you do it.
Standing up for yourself can be scary, but that’s precisely why other people will respect you for doing it.
When you speak up, make sure you literally speak up – do not mumble, trip over your words, or look down at your feet in embarrassment. You have every right to stand up for yourself.
3. Respecting Others
3-1. Keep your word.
When you commit to something and then don’t follow through, people see you as unreliable. Keep your promises to others and get out of the habit of making promises that you can’t keep. Proving your dependability will garner respect from others. Be the person who can be counted on.
Be honest and tell the truth when you don’t know something.
3-2. Be on time.
When you are late, whether that is to an appointment, a meeting, a deadline or responding to an email, you lose the respect of others because they feel that you don’t value their time. Strive to always be punctual.
When you show your peers that you respect their time by being prompt, they will respond by respecting your time and you.
3-3. Avoid gossiping.
Frequently engaging in gossip, especially negative gossip that puts other people down, will do nothing good for you. In fact, it usually results in people thinking less of you and gossiping about you when you aren’t in the room.
You don’t have to like everyone, but you should always be respectful toward them.
Know the difference between socializing and gossiping, and never participate in the latter.
Make an effort to avoid drama with your peers.
3-4. Stand up for someone else.
Just as you should always stand up for yourself, you should also try to do the same when you see someone else being mistreated, especially if they are unable to do it for themselves. There is a time and place for this, and sometimes butting in would be inappropriate, but if it’s something that you can do, do it. Respecting someone else enough to take up for them will earn you their respect in return.
Pay attention to your surroundings and take opportunities to show empathy toward others when at all possible.
When you are able to demonstrate that you are willing to offer help when it is needed, you’re demonstrating that you care about others, which never fails to gain respect.
Reach out to others when you need help too. Asking another person will make them feel valued and shows that you think highly of them. It also shows that you have the courage to admit to your weaknesses.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being a Leader\\n1-1. Excel at communication.\\nSpeak warmly and engage those whom you are speaking to. Be able to speak comfortably about a wide range of topics. Avoid vulgar and poor language, as well as using words like “um” or “like” to punctuate your sentences.\\nCommunication isn’t just talking – it’s about listening, as well. Incessant talking isn’t the mark of a respected person. Try to truly listen to others and be genuinely engaged so you become more trustworthy.\\nTake a moment to think before you speak.\\n1-2. Keep your emotions in check.\\nRemain calm in tense situations and speak in a calm, relaxed voice. Strive to act, rather than react emotionally. Diffuse bad situations whenever possible, and take a moment to think before instantly reacting to a negative provocation.\\nWell-respected people know how to keep their cool under tense conditions.\\nDuring arguments, hold your temper to prevent escalations, and if someone raises their voice at you, respond calmly.\\n1-3. Control your body language.\\nStand up straight, look people directly in the eye, and speak in a steady, composed voice when in conversation. These things exude confidence, which people very much respect.\\nConversely, slouching, mumbling and being afraid of eye contact communicates to others that you aren’t confident in yourself. Self-confidence is respected.\\n1-4. Solve problems.\\nWhen faced with a problem, do not react emotionally or with visible frustration. Instead, focus on addressing the problem and looking for ways to solve it. Try not to complain or get angry, since neither of those things are going to help the situation.\\nWhen others see you calmly find a solution to a problem rather than react angrily or emotionally, they will respect your composure and appreciate your readiness to remedy the situation.\\n1-5. Take pride in your appearance.\\nAlways practice good hygiene and make sure your clothes are neat and clean. Take the time to be well-groomed. Keep your nails trimmed, shower daily and always brush and floss your teeth.\\nBeing poorly groomed usually sends a negative message to others about your self-worth.\\nIf you don’t respect yourself and your appearance, it will be very difficult to gain the respect of others.\\n2. Standing Up For Yourself\\n2-1. Say “no” more often.\\nPeople often believe that taking on more projects and responsibilities will make others respect them, but that’s not the case. You can’t agree to every opportunity or request presented to you. Saying no shows others that you value your own time and care more about delivering quality results over quantity.\\nThe delivery of the message is just as important as the message itself. Be polite, frank, and decline with a smile. It’s not personal, you just don’t have the time to take on anything extra right now.\\nDon’t feel guilty about saying no when you have to. Feel good about standing up for yourself.\\n2-2. Have an opinion.\\n. Whether it’s an idea, a thought, or a protest, avoid remaining passive if you have something to say. Don’t be afraid of voicing your opinions and bringing ideas to the table, even if it makes you a little nervous. People appreciate when someone has the guts to say what they think.\\nAvoid being passive-aggressive about your opinions. Be more direct with what your intentions and thoughts are. Just be mindful of other cultures’ boundaries.\\nIf you aren’t used to speaking up, try practicing what you want to say beforehand.\\nVoicing your opinions doesn’t mean verbally passing judgment on everything going on around you. Voice your opinions when they matter.\\n2-3. Stop being too nice\\nYou can be kind to others without constantly having to do things for them. No one respects a pushover. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of because you’re nice shows others that you don’t respect yourself.\\nEstablish boundaries so others know what behavior is acceptable to you. Be assertive with your choices.\\nBeing too nice can also have the undesired effect of people thinking you are fake and disingenuous.\\n2-4. Quit apologizing.\\nThe only time you need to apologize is when you’ve done something wrong. Unfortunately, many people get in the habit of saying “sorry” almost automatically, without even thinking about it.\\nReserve your apologies for situations that actually call for them.\\nStop taking the blame for every little thing that goes wrong around you.\\n2-5. Say something when you’re being mistreated.\\nIf you are being taken advantage of or mistreated, you don’t have to resign yourself to enduring it silently. Stand up for yourself. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean lashing out in response – that will only make things worse. Instead, be tactful and polite when you do it.\\nStanding up for yourself can be scary, but that’s precisely why other people will respect you for doing it.\\nWhen you speak up, make sure you literally speak up – do not mumble, trip over your words, or look down at your feet in embarrassment. You have every right to stand up for yourself.\\n3. Respecting Others\\n3-1. Keep your word.\\nWhen you commit to something and then don’t follow through, people see you as unreliable. Keep your promises to others and get out of the habit of making promises that you can’t keep. Proving your dependability will garner respect from others. Be the person who can be counted on.\\nBe honest and tell the truth when you don’t know something.\\n3-2. Be on time.\\nWhen you are late, whether that is to an appointment, a meeting, a deadline or responding to an email, you lose the respect of others because they feel that you don’t value their time. Strive to always be punctual.\\nWhen you show your peers that you respect their time by being prompt, they will respond by respecting your time and you.\\n3-3. Avoid gossiping.\\nFrequently engaging in gossip, especially negative gossip that puts other people down, will do nothing good for you. In fact, it usually results in people thinking less of you and gossiping about you when you aren’t in the room.\\nYou don’t have to like everyone, but you should always be respectful toward them.\\nKnow the difference between socializing and gossiping, and never participate in the latter.\\nMake an effort to avoid drama with your peers.\\n3-4. Stand up for someone else.\\nJust as you should always stand up for yourself, you should also try to do the same when you see someone else being mistreated, especially if they are unable to do it for themselves. There is a time and place for this, and sometimes butting in would be inappropriate, but if it’s something that you can do, do it. Respecting someone else enough to take up for them will earn you their respect in return.\\nPay attention to your surroundings and take opportunities to show empathy toward others when at all possible.\\nWhen you are able to demonstrate that you are willing to offer help when it is needed, you’re demonstrating that you care about others, which never fails to gain respect.\\nReach out to others when you need help too. Asking another person will make them feel valued and shows that you think highly of them. It also shows that you have the courage to admit to your weaknesses.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation or ethnicity, anyone can earn respect by conducting themselves with integrity. Gaining the respect of others will not happen overnight, but by demonstrating confidence, leadership, dependability, and kindness, you will be able to earn it over time. Along with those traits, you must be willing to respect other people and, perhaps most importantly, you must also respect yourself if you want to receive respect in return.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being a Leader\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Excel at communication.\", \"描述\": \"Speak warmly and engage those whom you are speaking to. Be able to speak comfortably about a wide range of topics. Avoid vulgar and poor language, as well as using words like “um” or “like” to punctuate your sentences.\\nCommunication isn’t just talking – it’s about listening, as well. Incessant talking isn’t the mark of a respected person. Try to truly listen to others and be genuinely engaged so you become more trustworthy.\\nTake a moment to think before you speak.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your emotions in check.\", \"描述\": \"Remain calm in tense situations and speak in a calm, relaxed voice. Strive to act, rather than react emotionally. Diffuse bad situations whenever possible, and take a moment to think before instantly reacting to a negative provocation.\\nWell-respected people know how to keep their cool under tense conditions.\\nDuring arguments, hold your temper to prevent escalations, and if someone raises their voice at you, respond calmly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Control your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight, look people directly in the eye, and speak in a steady, composed voice when in conversation. These things exude confidence, which people very much respect.\\nConversely, slouching, mumbling and being afraid of eye contact communicates to others that you aren’t confident in yourself. Self-confidence is respected.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Solve problems.\", \"描述\": \"When faced with a problem, do not react emotionally or with visible frustration. Instead, focus on addressing the problem and looking for ways to solve it. Try not to complain or get angry, since neither of those things are going to help the situation.\\nWhen others see you calmly find a solution to a problem rather than react angrily or emotionally, they will respect your composure and appreciate your readiness to remedy the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take pride in your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Always practice good hygiene and make sure your clothes are neat and clean. Take the time to be well-groomed. Keep your nails trimmed, shower daily and always brush and floss your teeth.\\nBeing poorly groomed usually sends a negative message to others about your self-worth.\\nIf you don’t respect yourself and your appearance, it will be very difficult to gain the respect of others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Standing Up For Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say “no” more often.\", \"描述\": \"People often believe that taking on more projects and responsibilities will make others respect them, but that’s not the case. You can’t agree to every opportunity or request presented to you. Saying no shows others that you value your own time and care more about delivering quality results over quantity.\\nThe delivery of the message is just as important as the message itself. Be polite, frank, and decline with a smile. It’s not personal, you just don’t have the time to take on anything extra right now.\\nDon’t feel guilty about saying no when you have to. Feel good about standing up for yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have an opinion.\", \"描述\": \". Whether it’s an idea, a thought, or a protest, avoid remaining passive if you have something to say. Don’t be afraid of voicing your opinions and bringing ideas to the table, even if it makes you a little nervous. People appreciate when someone has the guts to say what they think.\\nAvoid being passive-aggressive about your opinions. Be more direct with what your intentions and thoughts are. Just be mindful of other cultures’ boundaries.\\nIf you aren’t used to speaking up, try practicing what you want to say beforehand.\\nVoicing your opinions doesn’t mean verbally passing judgment on everything going on around you. Voice your opinions when they matter.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop being too nice\", \"描述\": \"You can be kind to others without constantly having to do things for them. No one respects a pushover. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of because you’re nice shows others that you don’t respect yourself.\\nEstablish boundaries so others know what behavior is acceptable to you. Be assertive with your choices.\\nBeing too nice can also have the undesired effect of people thinking you are fake and disingenuous.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Quit apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"The only time you need to apologize is when you’ve done something wrong. Unfortunately, many people get in the habit of saying “sorry” almost automatically, without even thinking about it.\\nReserve your apologies for situations that actually call for them.\\nStop taking the blame for every little thing that goes wrong around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say something when you’re being mistreated.\", \"描述\": \"If you are being taken advantage of or mistreated, you don’t have to resign yourself to enduring it silently. Stand up for yourself. Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean lashing out in response – that will only make things worse. Instead, be tactful and polite when you do it.\\nStanding up for yourself can be scary, but that’s precisely why other people will respect you for doing it.\\nWhen you speak up, make sure you literally speak up – do not mumble, trip over your words, or look down at your feet in embarrassment. You have every right to stand up for yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respecting Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your word.\", \"描述\": \"When you commit to something and then don’t follow through, people see you as unreliable. Keep your promises to others and get out of the habit of making promises that you can’t keep. Proving your dependability will garner respect from others. Be the person who can be counted on.\\nBe honest and tell the truth when you don’t know something.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be on time.\", \"描述\": \"When you are late, whether that is to an appointment, a meeting, a deadline or responding to an email, you lose the respect of others because they feel that you don’t value their time. Strive to always be punctual.\\nWhen you show your peers that you respect their time by being prompt, they will respond by respecting your time and you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid gossiping.\", \"描述\": \"Frequently engaging in gossip, especially negative gossip that puts other people down, will do nothing good for you. In fact, it usually results in people thinking less of you and gossiping about you when you aren’t in the room.\\nYou don’t have to like everyone, but you should always be respectful toward them.\\nKnow the difference between socializing and gossiping, and never participate in the latter.\\nMake an effort to avoid drama with your peers.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stand up for someone else.\", \"描述\": \"Just as you should always stand up for yourself, you should also try to do the same when you see someone else being mistreated, especially if they are unable to do it for themselves. There is a time and place for this, and sometimes butting in would be inappropriate, but if it’s something that you can do, do it. Respecting someone else enough to take up for them will earn you their respect in return.\\nPay attention to your surroundings and take opportunities to show empathy toward others when at all possible.\\nWhen you are able to demonstrate that you are willing to offer help when it is needed, you’re demonstrating that you care about others, which never fails to gain respect.\\nReach out to others when you need help too. Asking another person will make them feel valued and shows that you think highly of them. It also shows that you have the courage to admit to your weaknesses.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,096 | How to Be Respectful | 1. Showing Basic Respect
1-1. Show kindness and courtesy.
Being respectful starts with a basic consideration of other people's feelings. Ask yourself how you'd want to be treated in a given situation, and make an effort to treat other people that way. Treat everyone you encounter—strangers on the street, coworkers, classmates and family members—with respect and courtesy.
Offer people food, water, or something else when you see a need that could be met.
1-2. Be polite
The concept of etiquette and good manners seems pointless when you're a kid, but when you grow up you realize that these customs function as a way to keep society running smoothly. Practicing good manners is a way to be respectful of other people's space and time. If no one bothered being polite, everyday situations like eating in a restaurant, waiting in line at the post office or dealing with bad traffic would be completely intolerable. Here are a few ways to be polite:
Don't cut in line, or cut people off in traffic, unless it's an emergency (e.g. rushing to the hospital).
Be quiet once the lights go down in a movie theater. Don't talk on your cell phone in indoor places like a coffee shop, store, or restaurant. (Take the call outside instead.)
If you make a mess, clean it. Throw away or recycle your trash, including small things like cigarette butts or food wrappers.
Say please and thank you. Avoid name-calling or aggressive speech. Don't swear in polite company.
that keep things safe and pleasant. Don't eat or drink if it's not allowed somewhere. Obey signs like "don't feed the birds" or "only use a public computer for half an hour" so that the environment is pleasant for everyone.
1-3. Refuse to discriminate.
Be respectful to everyone—not just people you know or those you perceive as having a higher status than you. Some people save their respect for people upon whom they want to make a good impression, and they're rude to everyone else. But there is truth in the saying, "You can judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them." Be kind to everyone, regardless of who they are, what they look like, or what their relationship is to you.
Be kind to people regardless of their social status.
Examine and let go of any negative attitudes you have towards women, people of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ+ people, people of different religions, poor people, overweight people, and other who might be viewed negatively by society. Being different does not make someone inferior. Take a "live and let live" approach.
Be kind to people you encounter throughout the day who aren't always treated with respect. For example, homeless people are often overlooked or treated rudely, but they deserve the same respect and courtesy as anyone else.
1-4. Respect differences in belief and opinion.
Be respectful to people who are different from you, even if you don't understand them very well. The differences among us are what make life interesting, and besides, you probably have more in common with people than you know. Even when you really don't see where someone else is coming from, be courteous and civil. You don't have to love everyone you meet, and you certainly don't have to agree with them, but you can still show them respect. Be respectful of others, no matter their...
Cultural differences
Different religious beliefs
Different political beliefs (aside from violent extremism)
Sports team preferences
1-5. Respect spaces.
Any space that you share with other people should be treated with respect. Your home (if you live with other people), your school, your street, your bus line - these familiar spaces are familiar to other people, too. You wouldn't appreciate it if other people trashed the places where you spend time every day, so be sure to clean up after yourself and do your part to keep them nice for others.
Clean your own messes. Pick up your trash and throw it away. Don't leave wrappers or cigarette butts for other people to clean.
Don't graffiti public spaces (unless you're an artist, and you have permission).
1-6. Respect the earth and all who live here.
Being respectful extends beyond just being nice to other people. Remember to show respect to animals, plants and the earth itself. We're all living here together, and each one of us is deserving of respect. Treat every living creature as an individual worthy of courtesy.
Do your part to avoid polluting the environment.
Understand how your actions affect the rest of the world. For example, using pesticides on your lawn could contaminate the groundwater and have a negative impact on your environment. Try to make conscientious lifestyle choices.
Know candidates' positions on the environment when you vote.
1-7. Respect other people's possessions.
It is considered rude and inconsiderate to help yourself freely to anything that does not belong to you. Ask permission before using someone's property. If you don't, you might be accused of stealing.
1-8. Respect personal space.
Personal space varies in different situations. Strangers (e.g. people on the subway) should be given a space bubble, and it's best not to strike up conversations unless they're showing signs that they're open to talking. Friends and family members usually are more open to touching, but it's still important to make sure they're okay with it.
When offering hugs and kisses, let the person see it coming so they can decline it if they don't want it for any reason. Don't make a big fuss if they say no.
Ask before prolonged contact, such as playing with someone's hair or rubbing their back.
Treat disability equipment (canes, wheelchairs) and service animals like extensions of a person's body. Don't touch without permission.
1-9. Respect privacy.
People's phones/computers, purses, drawers, and diaries should be private. Other people should get to set their own boundaries and choose what to share or not to share about their plans, thoughts, and feelings. Respecting privacy is important for healthy and trusting relationships.
Knock and pause before entering a bedroom. Someone inside should have time to call out something like "Don't come in!" or "Just a minute!" before you enter.
Don't eavesdrop.
Don't push people to share personal information (from weekend plans to intimate dating details) if they don't volunteer it.
If someone seems uncomfortable with a question you asked, try saying "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" to take off the pressure.
2. Communicating Respectfully
2-1. Listen when someone is talking.
When you're having a conversation, being a good listener is a basic sign of respect. If you look bored or interrupt the person, you're showing that you don't really care what he or she has to say. Practice listening more intently and waiting until the person is finished talking before you respond.
Making eye contact is a good way to show that you respect what someone is saying. Other body language cues can help as well. Face the person to whom you're talking and try not to fidget while they speak. (If you're disabled and can't do this comfortably, just look at their face and fidget quietly.)
Process what the person is saying instead of just absently nodding your head.
2-2. Think before you speak.
When it's your turn to talk, try to formulate a respectful response. Take into account what the person was saying and voice your opinion without undermining theirs. Avoid insulting the other person by saying something rude or callous.
It's okay to pause while you think about what to say.
Try not to be condescending. Don't over explain a concept the other person clearly already understands. For example, don't tell a varsity athlete how to hit a baseball.
Don't be patronizing. Along similar lines, talking down to someone can make them feel disrespected. Avoid phrases like "Don't worry your little head about it," or "It's a guy thing, you wouldn't understand."
Don't ask intrusive questions. For example, don't ask acquaintances about scars, disabilities, or details of their love lives.
2-3. Be clear when you want something.
People are often happy to help you, but they can't help you if they aren't sure what you need. Talk about your needs (physical or emotional) so that people aren't left wondering what is going on with you.
If you want someone to do something for you, say something like "Would you please...?"
2-4. Respectfully disagree.
You can respect someone's view even if you wholeheartedly disagree. The key is to disagree with what the person is saying without undermining the actual person's worthiness. For example, you might strongly disagree with someone's political beliefs, but you can still value the person as a human being, and that should come through in the way you argue.
Never resort to insulting someone during an argument. Don't let "I don't agree with your view on that" escalate to "You're an idiot."
If necessary, halt the conversation before things get too out of control and you say something you'll regret. You're not going to get anywhere by disrespecting the other person; you'll just make a new enemy.
2-5. Practice patience and assume good faith.
Communication can be difficult sometimes, and people may misspeak or struggle to find words that fit. Give them time, and when you aren't quite sure what they mean, assume that they are doing their best to be kind and understanding.
2-6. Don't stereotype other people.
Don't come to a conversation with assumptions about someone else's opinions or background based on their race, gender, religion, nationality, or any other factor. Everyone is an individual with special life experiences and wisdom. Don't make the disrespectful mistake of thinking you know someone before you've taken the time to learn about him or her as a unique person.
2-7. Skip the gossip.
It's a common form of disrespect that people usually get away with, but gossiping is a bad habit. It puts you in the practice of seeing people as characters who are up for discussion instead of individuals with feelings that can be deeply hurt. Even the strangest, most annoying or obnoxious people should not be regularly discussed as though they exist to provide entertainment for others.
If you have nothing good to say, it's better not to say it at all.
Politely object to gossiping if someone else starts it. Try saying something like "I'm not interested in gossip" or "I don't want to say anything about him that I wouldn't be willing to say to his face."
2-8. Apologize
No matter how hard you may try, you'll probably tread on someone's toes at some time or another. Your hurtful mistake is less important than how you react to it. If you realize you did something unkind or upsetting, talk to the person about it to apologize.
Avoid saying "but" to justify your actions. If you wish to explain why you behaved the way you did, try "and" instead. For example, "I'm sorry I winced when you said you were autistic, I was acting on a misconception of what autism is. I'm sorry I upset you, and I accept you for who you are." This explains the action without excusing it.
2-9. Be respectful to others even if they're not respectful to you.
As difficult as it might be, try to show patience and humility. The other person may learn something from you. If the person is downright rude or mean, try to defend yourself without sinking to their level.
3. Going Deeper
3-1. Show deference to those with rightful authority.
Some people deserve extra signs of respect because of the position they hold. The school principal, the boss, the church leader, the mayor, the King of England—these are people who have risen to leadership positions because they have exhibited qualities society deems worthy of respect. Show authority figures respect according to the proper custom, whether it means calling the principal "Sir" or bowing to the king.
Elders are also deserving of extra respect. Respect your parents, grandparents, and other elders in the community for the valuable wisdom they have to share.
3-2. Don't abuse your own power.
If you are in a position of power, respect those who trust you by being courteous and kind to them. Never expect them to defer to you "just because." Be the kind of leader who people want to follow instead of the kind they're afraid not to follow.
3-3. Respect yourself
You are an important person, and you deserve to be treated well. Work on treating yourself the way you'd treat a friend. Every time you think a negative thought about yourself or do something self-destructive, ask if you'd talk to a friend that way. You are your own best friend.
An "others first" approach is kind, but is only realistic to a certain extent. Put your basic needs (food, sleep, mental health) first. Once your needs are met, you will then be able to help other people effectively.
3-4. Practice empathy and compassion.
To really understand how to respect other people, put yourself in their shoes and attempt to truly understand where they're coming from. You can be courteous to people without really caring much about them, but true respect stems from a sense of empathy, a deep sense of shared understanding. Try to recognize the bonds that tie us all together and the fact that we're all sharing the same earth. Respecting each other is a way of getting along and making the world livable and more delightful for everyone.
Tips
Being respectful tells people you not only care about others, but you care about yourself. The most important part of being respectful is respecting yourself; if you don't, people won't respect you.
When talking to someone, look them in the eye in a steady, but friendly way, if possible.
A great technique for giving respect is to empathize or relate to the other person. Listening and responding intelligently, seriously, and beneficially shows a great amount of respect. Everyone wants what they say to be heard and taken into consideration.
Warnings
Respecting differences doesn't mean tolerating people who advocate harming others. For example, if your neighbor is a Nazi who believes that certain types of people should die, this is not a belief that deserves to be respected or tolerated. Respecting and protecting other people's safety is more important than respecting a violent person's beliefs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Showing Basic Respect\\n1-1. Show kindness and courtesy.\\nBeing respectful starts with a basic consideration of other people's feelings. Ask yourself how you'd want to be treated in a given situation, and make an effort to treat other people that way. Treat everyone you encounter—strangers on the street, coworkers, classmates and family members—with respect and courtesy.\\nOffer people food, water, or something else when you see a need that could be met.\\n1-2. Be polite\\nThe concept of etiquette and good manners seems pointless when you're a kid, but when you grow up you realize that these customs function as a way to keep society running smoothly. Practicing good manners is a way to be respectful of other people's space and time. If no one bothered being polite, everyday situations like eating in a restaurant, waiting in line at the post office or dealing with bad traffic would be completely intolerable. Here are a few ways to be polite:\\n\\n Don't cut in line, or cut people off in traffic, unless it's an emergency (e.g. rushing to the hospital).\\n Be quiet once the lights go down in a movie theater. Don't talk on your cell phone in indoor places like a coffee shop, store, or restaurant. (Take the call outside instead.)\\n If you make a mess, clean it. Throw away or recycle your trash, including small things like cigarette butts or food wrappers.\\n Say please and thank you. Avoid name-calling or aggressive speech. Don't swear in polite company.\\n\\n that keep things safe and pleasant. Don't eat or drink if it's not allowed somewhere. Obey signs like \\\"don't feed the birds\\\" or \\\"only use a public computer for half an hour\\\" so that the environment is pleasant for everyone.\\n1-3. Refuse to discriminate.\\nBe respectful to everyone—not just people you know or those you perceive as having a higher status than you. Some people save their respect for people upon whom they want to make a good impression, and they're rude to everyone else. But there is truth in the saying, \\\"You can judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.\\\" Be kind to everyone, regardless of who they are, what they look like, or what their relationship is to you. \\nBe kind to people regardless of their social status.\\nExamine and let go of any negative attitudes you have towards women, people of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ+ people, people of different religions, poor people, overweight people, and other who might be viewed negatively by society. Being different does not make someone inferior. Take a \\\"live and let live\\\" approach.\\nBe kind to people you encounter throughout the day who aren't always treated with respect. For example, homeless people are often overlooked or treated rudely, but they deserve the same respect and courtesy as anyone else.\\n1-4. Respect differences in belief and opinion.\\nBe respectful to people who are different from you, even if you don't understand them very well. The differences among us are what make life interesting, and besides, you probably have more in common with people than you know. Even when you really don't see where someone else is coming from, be courteous and civil. You don't have to love everyone you meet, and you certainly don't have to agree with them, but you can still show them respect. Be respectful of others, no matter their... \\nCultural differences\\nDifferent religious beliefs\\nDifferent political beliefs (aside from violent extremism)\\nSports team preferences\\n1-5. Respect spaces.\\nAny space that you share with other people should be treated with respect. Your home (if you live with other people), your school, your street, your bus line - these familiar spaces are familiar to other people, too. You wouldn't appreciate it if other people trashed the places where you spend time every day, so be sure to clean up after yourself and do your part to keep them nice for others.\\nClean your own messes. Pick up your trash and throw it away. Don't leave wrappers or cigarette butts for other people to clean.\\nDon't graffiti public spaces (unless you're an artist, and you have permission).\\n1-6. Respect the earth and all who live here.\\nBeing respectful extends beyond just being nice to other people. Remember to show respect to animals, plants and the earth itself. We're all living here together, and each one of us is deserving of respect. Treat every living creature as an individual worthy of courtesy. \\nDo your part to avoid polluting the environment.\\nUnderstand how your actions affect the rest of the world. For example, using pesticides on your lawn could contaminate the groundwater and have a negative impact on your environment. Try to make conscientious lifestyle choices.\\nKnow candidates' positions on the environment when you vote.\\n1-7. Respect other people's possessions.\\nIt is considered rude and inconsiderate to help yourself freely to anything that does not belong to you. Ask permission before using someone's property. If you don't, you might be accused of stealing.\\n1-8. Respect personal space.\\nPersonal space varies in different situations. Strangers (e.g. people on the subway) should be given a space bubble, and it's best not to strike up conversations unless they're showing signs that they're open to talking. Friends and family members usually are more open to touching, but it's still important to make sure they're okay with it.\\nWhen offering hugs and kisses, let the person see it coming so they can decline it if they don't want it for any reason. Don't make a big fuss if they say no.\\nAsk before prolonged contact, such as playing with someone's hair or rubbing their back.\\nTreat disability equipment (canes, wheelchairs) and service animals like extensions of a person's body. Don't touch without permission.\\n1-9. Respect privacy.\\nPeople's phones/computers, purses, drawers, and diaries should be private. Other people should get to set their own boundaries and choose what to share or not to share about their plans, thoughts, and feelings. Respecting privacy is important for healthy and trusting relationships. \\nKnock and pause before entering a bedroom. Someone inside should have time to call out something like \\\"Don't come in!\\\" or \\\"Just a minute!\\\" before you enter.\\nDon't eavesdrop.\\nDon't push people to share personal information (from weekend plans to intimate dating details) if they don't volunteer it.\\nIf someone seems uncomfortable with a question you asked, try saying \\\"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to\\\" to take off the pressure.\\n2. Communicating Respectfully\\n2-1. Listen when someone is talking.\\nWhen you're having a conversation, being a good listener is a basic sign of respect. If you look bored or interrupt the person, you're showing that you don't really care what he or she has to say. Practice listening more intently and waiting until the person is finished talking before you respond.\\nMaking eye contact is a good way to show that you respect what someone is saying. Other body language cues can help as well. Face the person to whom you're talking and try not to fidget while they speak. (If you're disabled and can't do this comfortably, just look at their face and fidget quietly.)\\nProcess what the person is saying instead of just absently nodding your head.\\n2-2. Think before you speak.\\nWhen it's your turn to talk, try to formulate a respectful response. Take into account what the person was saying and voice your opinion without undermining theirs. Avoid insulting the other person by saying something rude or callous. \\nIt's okay to pause while you think about what to say.\\nTry not to be condescending. Don't over explain a concept the other person clearly already understands. For example, don't tell a varsity athlete how to hit a baseball.\\nDon't be patronizing. Along similar lines, talking down to someone can make them feel disrespected. Avoid phrases like \\\"Don't worry your little head about it,\\\" or \\\"It's a guy thing, you wouldn't understand.\\\"\\nDon't ask intrusive questions. For example, don't ask acquaintances about scars, disabilities, or details of their love lives.\\n2-3. Be clear when you want something.\\nPeople are often happy to help you, but they can't help you if they aren't sure what you need. Talk about your needs (physical or emotional) so that people aren't left wondering what is going on with you. \\nIf you want someone to do something for you, say something like \\\"Would you please...?\\\"\\n2-4. Respectfully disagree.\\nYou can respect someone's view even if you wholeheartedly disagree. The key is to disagree with what the person is saying without undermining the actual person's worthiness. For example, you might strongly disagree with someone's political beliefs, but you can still value the person as a human being, and that should come through in the way you argue.\\nNever resort to insulting someone during an argument. Don't let \\\"I don't agree with your view on that\\\" escalate to \\\"You're an idiot.\\\"\\nIf necessary, halt the conversation before things get too out of control and you say something you'll regret. You're not going to get anywhere by disrespecting the other person; you'll just make a new enemy.\\n2-5. Practice patience and assume good faith.\\nCommunication can be difficult sometimes, and people may misspeak or struggle to find words that fit. Give them time, and when you aren't quite sure what they mean, assume that they are doing their best to be kind and understanding.\\n2-6. Don't stereotype other people.\\nDon't come to a conversation with assumptions about someone else's opinions or background based on their race, gender, religion, nationality, or any other factor. Everyone is an individual with special life experiences and wisdom. Don't make the disrespectful mistake of thinking you know someone before you've taken the time to learn about him or her as a unique person.\\n2-7. Skip the gossip.\\nIt's a common form of disrespect that people usually get away with, but gossiping is a bad habit. It puts you in the practice of seeing people as characters who are up for discussion instead of individuals with feelings that can be deeply hurt. Even the strangest, most annoying or obnoxious people should not be regularly discussed as though they exist to provide entertainment for others.\\nIf you have nothing good to say, it's better not to say it at all.\\nPolitely object to gossiping if someone else starts it. Try saying something like \\\"I'm not interested in gossip\\\" or \\\"I don't want to say anything about him that I wouldn't be willing to say to his face.\\\"\\n2-8. Apologize\\nNo matter how hard you may try, you'll probably tread on someone's toes at some time or another. Your hurtful mistake is less important than how you react to it. If you realize you did something unkind or upsetting, talk to the person about it to apologize. \\nAvoid saying \\\"but\\\" to justify your actions. If you wish to explain why you behaved the way you did, try \\\"and\\\" instead. For example, \\\"I'm sorry I winced when you said you were autistic, I was acting on a misconception of what autism is. I'm sorry I upset you, and I accept you for who you are.\\\" This explains the action without excusing it.\\n2-9. Be respectful to others even if they're not respectful to you.\\nAs difficult as it might be, try to show patience and humility. The other person may learn something from you. If the person is downright rude or mean, try to defend yourself without sinking to their level.\\n3. Going Deeper\\n3-1. Show deference to those with rightful authority.\\nSome people deserve extra signs of respect because of the position they hold. The school principal, the boss, the church leader, the mayor, the King of England—these are people who have risen to leadership positions because they have exhibited qualities society deems worthy of respect. Show authority figures respect according to the proper custom, whether it means calling the principal \\\"Sir\\\" or bowing to the king. \\nElders are also deserving of extra respect. Respect your parents, grandparents, and other elders in the community for the valuable wisdom they have to share.\\n3-2. Don't abuse your own power.\\nIf you are in a position of power, respect those who trust you by being courteous and kind to them. Never expect them to defer to you \\\"just because.\\\" Be the kind of leader who people want to follow instead of the kind they're afraid not to follow.\\n3-3. Respect yourself\\nYou are an important person, and you deserve to be treated well. Work on treating yourself the way you'd treat a friend. Every time you think a negative thought about yourself or do something self-destructive, ask if you'd talk to a friend that way. You are your own best friend.\\nAn \\\"others first\\\" approach is kind, but is only realistic to a certain extent. Put your basic needs (food, sleep, mental health) first. Once your needs are met, you will then be able to help other people effectively.\\n3-4. Practice empathy and compassion.\\nTo really understand how to respect other people, put yourself in their shoes and attempt to truly understand where they're coming from. You can be courteous to people without really caring much about them, but true respect stems from a sense of empathy, a deep sense of shared understanding. Try to recognize the bonds that tie us all together and the fact that we're all sharing the same earth. Respecting each other is a way of getting along and making the world livable and more delightful for everyone.\\nTips\\nBeing respectful tells people you not only care about others, but you care about yourself. The most important part of being respectful is respecting yourself; if you don't, people won't respect you.\\nWhen talking to someone, look them in the eye in a steady, but friendly way, if possible.\\nA great technique for giving respect is to empathize or relate to the other person. Listening and responding intelligently, seriously, and beneficially shows a great amount of respect. Everyone wants what they say to be heard and taken into consideration.\\nWarnings\\nRespecting differences doesn't mean tolerating people who advocate harming others. For example, if your neighbor is a Nazi who believes that certain types of people should die, this is not a belief that deserves to be respected or tolerated. Respecting and protecting other people's safety is more important than respecting a violent person's beliefs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you want to be respectful, try to put yourself in someone else's shoes and behave in a way that shows you care. At its heart, being respectful means showing that you value other people's perspectives, time, and space.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Showing Basic Respect\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show kindness and courtesy.\", \"描述\": \"Being respectful starts with a basic consideration of other people's feelings. Ask yourself how you'd want to be treated in a given situation, and make an effort to treat other people that way. Treat everyone you encounter—strangers on the street, coworkers, classmates and family members—with respect and courtesy.\\nOffer people food, water, or something else when you see a need that could be met.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be polite\", \"描述\": \"The concept of etiquette and good manners seems pointless when you're a kid, but when you grow up you realize that these customs function as a way to keep society running smoothly. Practicing good manners is a way to be respectful of other people's space and time. If no one bothered being polite, everyday situations like eating in a restaurant, waiting in line at the post office or dealing with bad traffic would be completely intolerable. Here are a few ways to be polite:\\n\\n Don't cut in line, or cut people off in traffic, unless it's an emergency (e.g. rushing to the hospital).\\n Be quiet once the lights go down in a movie theater. Don't talk on your cell phone in indoor places like a coffee shop, store, or restaurant. (Take the call outside instead.)\\n If you make a mess, clean it. Throw away or recycle your trash, including small things like cigarette butts or food wrappers.\\n Say please and thank you. Avoid name-calling or aggressive speech. Don't swear in polite company.\\n\\n that keep things safe and pleasant. Don't eat or drink if it's not allowed somewhere. Obey signs like \\\"don't feed the birds\\\" or \\\"only use a public computer for half an hour\\\" so that the environment is pleasant for everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Refuse to discriminate.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful to everyone—not just people you know or those you perceive as having a higher status than you. Some people save their respect for people upon whom they want to make a good impression, and they're rude to everyone else. But there is truth in the saying, \\\"You can judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.\\\" Be kind to everyone, regardless of who they are, what they look like, or what their relationship is to you. \\nBe kind to people regardless of their social status.\\nExamine and let go of any negative attitudes you have towards women, people of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ+ people, people of different religions, poor people, overweight people, and other who might be viewed negatively by society. Being different does not make someone inferior. Take a \\\"live and let live\\\" approach.\\nBe kind to people you encounter throughout the day who aren't always treated with respect. For example, homeless people are often overlooked or treated rudely, but they deserve the same respect and courtesy as anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect differences in belief and opinion.\", \"描述\": \"Be respectful to people who are different from you, even if you don't understand them very well. The differences among us are what make life interesting, and besides, you probably have more in common with people than you know. Even when you really don't see where someone else is coming from, be courteous and civil. You don't have to love everyone you meet, and you certainly don't have to agree with them, but you can still show them respect. Be respectful of others, no matter their... \\nCultural differences\\nDifferent religious beliefs\\nDifferent political beliefs (aside from violent extremism)\\nSports team preferences\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respect spaces.\", \"描述\": \"Any space that you share with other people should be treated with respect. Your home (if you live with other people), your school, your street, your bus line - these familiar spaces are familiar to other people, too. You wouldn't appreciate it if other people trashed the places where you spend time every day, so be sure to clean up after yourself and do your part to keep them nice for others.\\nClean your own messes. Pick up your trash and throw it away. Don't leave wrappers or cigarette butts for other people to clean.\\nDon't graffiti public spaces (unless you're an artist, and you have permission).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respect the earth and all who live here.\", \"描述\": \"Being respectful extends beyond just being nice to other people. Remember to show respect to animals, plants and the earth itself. We're all living here together, and each one of us is deserving of respect. Treat every living creature as an individual worthy of courtesy. \\nDo your part to avoid polluting the environment.\\nUnderstand how your actions affect the rest of the world. For example, using pesticides on your lawn could contaminate the groundwater and have a negative impact on your environment. Try to make conscientious lifestyle choices.\\nKnow candidates' positions on the environment when you vote.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Respect other people's possessions.\", \"描述\": \"It is considered rude and inconsiderate to help yourself freely to anything that does not belong to you. Ask permission before using someone's property. If you don't, you might be accused of stealing.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Respect personal space.\", \"描述\": \"Personal space varies in different situations. Strangers (e.g. people on the subway) should be given a space bubble, and it's best not to strike up conversations unless they're showing signs that they're open to talking. Friends and family members usually are more open to touching, but it's still important to make sure they're okay with it.\\nWhen offering hugs and kisses, let the person see it coming so they can decline it if they don't want it for any reason. Don't make a big fuss if they say no.\\nAsk before prolonged contact, such as playing with someone's hair or rubbing their back.\\nTreat disability equipment (canes, wheelchairs) and service animals like extensions of a person's body. Don't touch without permission.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Respect privacy.\", \"描述\": \"People's phones/computers, purses, drawers, and diaries should be private. Other people should get to set their own boundaries and choose what to share or not to share about their plans, thoughts, and feelings. Respecting privacy is important for healthy and trusting relationships. \\nKnock and pause before entering a bedroom. Someone inside should have time to call out something like \\\"Don't come in!\\\" or \\\"Just a minute!\\\" before you enter.\\nDon't eavesdrop.\\nDon't push people to share personal information (from weekend plans to intimate dating details) if they don't volunteer it.\\nIf someone seems uncomfortable with a question you asked, try saying \\\"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to\\\" to take off the pressure.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Communicating Respectfully\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen when someone is talking.\", \"描述\": \"When you're having a conversation, being a good listener is a basic sign of respect. If you look bored or interrupt the person, you're showing that you don't really care what he or she has to say. Practice listening more intently and waiting until the person is finished talking before you respond.\\nMaking eye contact is a good way to show that you respect what someone is saying. Other body language cues can help as well. Face the person to whom you're talking and try not to fidget while they speak. (If you're disabled and can't do this comfortably, just look at their face and fidget quietly.)\\nProcess what the person is saying instead of just absently nodding your head.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak.\", \"描述\": \"When it's your turn to talk, try to formulate a respectful response. Take into account what the person was saying and voice your opinion without undermining theirs. Avoid insulting the other person by saying something rude or callous. \\nIt's okay to pause while you think about what to say.\\nTry not to be condescending. Don't over explain a concept the other person clearly already understands. For example, don't tell a varsity athlete how to hit a baseball.\\nDon't be patronizing. Along similar lines, talking down to someone can make them feel disrespected. Avoid phrases like \\\"Don't worry your little head about it,\\\" or \\\"It's a guy thing, you wouldn't understand.\\\"\\nDon't ask intrusive questions. For example, don't ask acquaintances about scars, disabilities, or details of their love lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be clear when you want something.\", \"描述\": \"People are often happy to help you, but they can't help you if they aren't sure what you need. Talk about your needs (physical or emotional) so that people aren't left wondering what is going on with you. \\nIf you want someone to do something for you, say something like \\\"Would you please...?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respectfully disagree.\", \"描述\": \"You can respect someone's view even if you wholeheartedly disagree. The key is to disagree with what the person is saying without undermining the actual person's worthiness. For example, you might strongly disagree with someone's political beliefs, but you can still value the person as a human being, and that should come through in the way you argue.\\nNever resort to insulting someone during an argument. Don't let \\\"I don't agree with your view on that\\\" escalate to \\\"You're an idiot.\\\"\\nIf necessary, halt the conversation before things get too out of control and you say something you'll regret. You're not going to get anywhere by disrespecting the other person; you'll just make a new enemy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice patience and assume good faith.\", \"描述\": \"Communication can be difficult sometimes, and people may misspeak or struggle to find words that fit. Give them time, and when you aren't quite sure what they mean, assume that they are doing their best to be kind and understanding.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't stereotype other people.\", \"描述\": \"Don't come to a conversation with assumptions about someone else's opinions or background based on their race, gender, religion, nationality, or any other factor. Everyone is an individual with special life experiences and wisdom. Don't make the disrespectful mistake of thinking you know someone before you've taken the time to learn about him or her as a unique person.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Skip the gossip.\", \"描述\": \"It's a common form of disrespect that people usually get away with, but gossiping is a bad habit. It puts you in the practice of seeing people as characters who are up for discussion instead of individuals with feelings that can be deeply hurt. Even the strangest, most annoying or obnoxious people should not be regularly discussed as though they exist to provide entertainment for others.\\nIf you have nothing good to say, it's better not to say it at all.\\nPolitely object to gossiping if someone else starts it. Try saying something like \\\"I'm not interested in gossip\\\" or \\\"I don't want to say anything about him that I wouldn't be willing to say to his face.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Apologize\", \"描述\": \"No matter how hard you may try, you'll probably tread on someone's toes at some time or another. Your hurtful mistake is less important than how you react to it. If you realize you did something unkind or upsetting, talk to the person about it to apologize. \\nAvoid saying \\\"but\\\" to justify your actions. If you wish to explain why you behaved the way you did, try \\\"and\\\" instead. For example, \\\"I'm sorry I winced when you said you were autistic, I was acting on a misconception of what autism is. I'm sorry I upset you, and I accept you for who you are.\\\" This explains the action without excusing it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be respectful to others even if they're not respectful to you.\", \"描述\": \"As difficult as it might be, try to show patience and humility. The other person may learn something from you. If the person is downright rude or mean, try to defend yourself without sinking to their level.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going Deeper\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show deference to those with rightful authority.\", \"描述\": \"Some people deserve extra signs of respect because of the position they hold. The school principal, the boss, the church leader, the mayor, the King of England—these are people who have risen to leadership positions because they have exhibited qualities society deems worthy of respect. Show authority figures respect according to the proper custom, whether it means calling the principal \\\"Sir\\\" or bowing to the king. \\nElders are also deserving of extra respect. Respect your parents, grandparents, and other elders in the community for the valuable wisdom they have to share.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't abuse your own power.\", \"描述\": \"If you are in a position of power, respect those who trust you by being courteous and kind to them. Never expect them to defer to you \\\"just because.\\\" Be the kind of leader who people want to follow instead of the kind they're afraid not to follow.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect yourself\", \"描述\": \"You are an important person, and you deserve to be treated well. Work on treating yourself the way you'd treat a friend. Every time you think a negative thought about yourself or do something self-destructive, ask if you'd talk to a friend that way. You are your own best friend.\\nAn \\\"others first\\\" approach is kind, but is only realistic to a certain extent. Put your basic needs (food, sleep, mental health) first. Once your needs are met, you will then be able to help other people effectively.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice empathy and compassion.\", \"描述\": \"To really understand how to respect other people, put yourself in their shoes and attempt to truly understand where they're coming from. You can be courteous to people without really caring much about them, but true respect stems from a sense of empathy, a deep sense of shared understanding. Try to recognize the bonds that tie us all together and the fact that we're all sharing the same earth. Respecting each other is a way of getting along and making the world livable and more delightful for everyone.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Being respectful tells people you not only care about others, but you care about yourself. The most important part of being respectful is respecting yourself; if you don't, people won't respect you.\\n\", \"When talking to someone, look them in the eye in a steady, but friendly way, if possible.\\n\", \"A great technique for giving respect is to empathize or relate to the other person. Listening and responding intelligently, seriously, and beneficially shows a great amount of respect. Everyone wants what they say to be heard and taken into consideration.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Respecting differences doesn't mean tolerating people who advocate harming others. For example, if your neighbor is a Nazi who believes that certain types of people should die, this is not a belief that deserves to be respected or tolerated. Respecting and protecting other people's safety is more important than respecting a violent person's beliefs.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,097 | How to Be Respectful of Your Family | 1. Being Polite
1-1. Say "please" and "thank you."
You don't like it when someone demands you do something without asking nicely, and a big part of being respectful is treating others the way you would want to be treated. In a family situation, it's easy to forget that, though, and leave off the niceties. Try to always remember to say "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" when appropriate, even to family members.
1-2. Watch your tone.
This step goes hand-in-hand with saying "please" and "thank you." That is, nobody likes to be ordered around. It's important to pay attention to the tone you're using when talking to family members.
For instance, instead of demanding in a rude tone, "Get me some juice!" you could say, "Would you mind getting me some juice, please?"
1-3. Be responsible for your own mess.
One way to be respectful and polite is to clean up after yourself. If you leave a mess for someone else to clean, that shows you don't respect his or her time. Put your toys and items away, and put away dirty clothes. Clean up after yourself in the bathroom, and do your share of chores in the house.
2. Learning How to Disagree
2-1. Talk about your feelings instead of pointing blame.
That is, use the word "I" when you get in a disagreement instead of "you." If you're upset that your sister always hogs the bathroom, talk about how it makes you feel instead of simply placing blame on her.
For instance, you could say, "I feel disrespected when I don't get much time in the bathroom because then I don't have enough time to get ready. I feel unprepared for the day."
Using "I" helps soften the tone. It helps the other person understand why you're upset. Pointing fingers often just makes them get defensive.
2-2. Take a deep breath.
Everyone gets a little heated when he or she gets upset. The trouble is, that can make you not think as clearly and say things you may regret later. If you feel your emotions taking over, ask to take a moment to calm down. Try focusing on breathing in and out for a few minutes or counting numbers until you feel yourself calm down.
2-3. Stay on topic.
That is, don't throw stuff at the other person from past arguments. Don't remind them of the last time they said something wrong or did something wrong. It only heightens emotions and doesn't help the argument at hand.
2-4. Listen to what the other person has to say.
In an argument, you tend to just want to make your point of view known; obviously, you think you are correct. However, you should take the time to really listen to what the other person has to say. Even if you decide to keep your point of view, you show respect to the other person by giving his or her view credibility and time.
Truly listening means actually considering what the person has to say. Don't just sit there thinking up arguments against it.
2-5. Don't yell.
Yelling can scare children, and it teaches them to yell, too, instead of talking about what's bothering them. Similarly, when you yell at an adult, it creates some amount of fear, which shuts them down, meaning they won't be able to actually listen to what you have to say.
2-6. Be willing to change your mind.
Whether you're the parent, spouse, child, or sibling, sometimes the other person will have a point. That means that you need to be willing to change your mind if you realize you are wrong.
This step also includes being willing to admit you've made a mistake. Sometimes you make a mistake, and you need to apologize. For instance, you could say, "I realize now that I was wrong. I truly apologize for the mistake I made."
3. Showing You Care
3-1. Be present when talking.
Truly listen to what the other person is saying. One way to physically show that you are listening is to stop doing anything else you are doing. Look the person in the eye. Let the person talk, and don't interrupt until he or she is done.
3-2. Spend time with each other.
One way to show you value another person is to give them the gift of your time. Watch a movie together, or cook dinner together. Go out for a special outing. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you are taking the time to enjoy each others' company.
3-3. Support your family members' interests.
Everyone needs some kind of hobby or outlet, and it's often different for each member of a family. Ask questions about what's going on with your family members' hobbies on a regular basis, and show up for important events if you can, such as going to dance recitals or baseball games.
3-4. Offer comfort when someone is sad.
If you notice another family member is upset, try to offer them comfort. One thing you can do is just listen to what's bothering them and try to help where you can.
4. Being Respectful to Your Kids
4-1. Offer encouragement to kids.
Kids are still learning how to be polite and ask things in a respectful manner. Therefore, when your child does ask politely, make sure to offer encouragement of that behavior.
Try to be specific about your praise. For instance, when your child asks politely if she can be excused instead of jumping up from the table, you can say, "Thank you for asking so nicely and using your manners."
Also, remember to offer encouragement for the hard work they put in, not just the finished product. For instance, no matter whether your kid wins or loses a tennis match, you can say that you are proud of her for putting in the hard work.
4-2. Respect privacy.
Your child will start to set her own boundaries as far as privacy goes. Because it's her way of asserting independence, you should try to respect that as often as possible with a few caveats. For instance, if your child is still fairly young, you may need to be in the bathroom while she bathes; however, you can work on something else so she doesn't feel like you're focusing on her.
Remind your child that occasionally, you or her doctor may need to examine her body to make sure she's still healthy.
Many children will start wanting privacy in elementary school. However, if your child seems to be very embarrassed about her body, you might want to make sure everything is fine with her, as that can be a sign of sexual abuse.
4-3. Set boundaries for your child.
Boundaries are good for kids because they help them know their limits. Your kids may not see it as a sign of respect initially, but boundaries will help them grow into positive, contributing adults.
Plan ahead, and tell your child the boundary in no uncertain terms. That is, you need to already know what rule you are going to enforce before you enforce it, and your kid needs to know she doesn't have any wiggle room. For instance, use a statement instead of a question: say "Please clean up your room before you go outside," not "Can you please clean up your room before you go outside?" That doesn't mean that you have to be use a harsh tone; in fact, a neutral is better because it won't scare your kids.
Don't be afraid to use humor to encourage cooperativeness. Kids love silly voices and jokes, so try making the fork dance when you want her to eat or making her toothbrush talk to her.
4-4. Learn and teach coping strategies.
When you don't get your way, you need to learn to deal with that without yelling. For instance, you can use techniques to calm down, such as listening to a meditation CD. Alternatively, you can use a creative way to express yourself, such as drawing, coloring, or painting.
For your kids, you can also help them talk about their feelings. One way to do that is to use visuals, such as a printout of different emotion faces. Have the child point to what they're feeling and then have them talk about how that relates to the situation. You could ask a question such as, "What are you feeling right now? Can you point to the face that shows what you're feeling? What made you feel that way?"
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Polite\\n1-1. Say \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you.\\\"\\nYou don't like it when someone demands you do something without asking nicely, and a big part of being respectful is treating others the way you would want to be treated. In a family situation, it's easy to forget that, though, and leave off the niceties. Try to always remember to say \\\"please,\\\" \\\"thank you,\\\" and \\\"excuse me\\\" when appropriate, even to family members.\\n1-2. Watch your tone.\\nThis step goes hand-in-hand with saying \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you.\\\" That is, nobody likes to be ordered around. It's important to pay attention to the tone you're using when talking to family members.\\nFor instance, instead of demanding in a rude tone, \\\"Get me some juice!\\\" you could say, \\\"Would you mind getting me some juice, please?\\\"\\n1-3. Be responsible for your own mess.\\nOne way to be respectful and polite is to clean up after yourself. If you leave a mess for someone else to clean, that shows you don't respect his or her time. Put your toys and items away, and put away dirty clothes. Clean up after yourself in the bathroom, and do your share of chores in the house.\\n2. Learning How to Disagree\\n2-1. Talk about your feelings instead of pointing blame.\\nThat is, use the word \\\"I\\\" when you get in a disagreement instead of \\\"you.\\\" If you're upset that your sister always hogs the bathroom, talk about how it makes you feel instead of simply placing blame on her.\\nFor instance, you could say, \\\"I feel disrespected when I don't get much time in the bathroom because then I don't have enough time to get ready. I feel unprepared for the day.\\\"\\nUsing \\\"I\\\" helps soften the tone. It helps the other person understand why you're upset. Pointing fingers often just makes them get defensive.\\n2-2. Take a deep breath.\\nEveryone gets a little heated when he or she gets upset. The trouble is, that can make you not think as clearly and say things you may regret later. If you feel your emotions taking over, ask to take a moment to calm down. Try focusing on breathing in and out for a few minutes or counting numbers until you feel yourself calm down.\\n2-3. Stay on topic.\\nThat is, don't throw stuff at the other person from past arguments. Don't remind them of the last time they said something wrong or did something wrong. It only heightens emotions and doesn't help the argument at hand.\\n2-4. Listen to what the other person has to say.\\nIn an argument, you tend to just want to make your point of view known; obviously, you think you are correct. However, you should take the time to really listen to what the other person has to say. Even if you decide to keep your point of view, you show respect to the other person by giving his or her view credibility and time.\\nTruly listening means actually considering what the person has to say. Don't just sit there thinking up arguments against it.\\n2-5. Don't yell.\\nYelling can scare children, and it teaches them to yell, too, instead of talking about what's bothering them. Similarly, when you yell at an adult, it creates some amount of fear, which shuts them down, meaning they won't be able to actually listen to what you have to say.\\n2-6. Be willing to change your mind.\\nWhether you're the parent, spouse, child, or sibling, sometimes the other person will have a point. That means that you need to be willing to change your mind if you realize you are wrong.\\nThis step also includes being willing to admit you've made a mistake. Sometimes you make a mistake, and you need to apologize. For instance, you could say, \\\"I realize now that I was wrong. I truly apologize for the mistake I made.\\\"\\n3. Showing You Care\\n3-1. Be present when talking.\\nTruly listen to what the other person is saying. One way to physically show that you are listening is to stop doing anything else you are doing. Look the person in the eye. Let the person talk, and don't interrupt until he or she is done.\\n3-2. Spend time with each other.\\nOne way to show you value another person is to give them the gift of your time. Watch a movie together, or cook dinner together. Go out for a special outing. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you are taking the time to enjoy each others' company.\\n3-3. Support your family members' interests.\\nEveryone needs some kind of hobby or outlet, and it's often different for each member of a family. Ask questions about what's going on with your family members' hobbies on a regular basis, and show up for important events if you can, such as going to dance recitals or baseball games.\\n3-4. Offer comfort when someone is sad.\\nIf you notice another family member is upset, try to offer them comfort. One thing you can do is just listen to what's bothering them and try to help where you can.\\n4. Being Respectful to Your Kids\\n4-1. Offer encouragement to kids.\\nKids are still learning how to be polite and ask things in a respectful manner. Therefore, when your child does ask politely, make sure to offer encouragement of that behavior.\\nTry to be specific about your praise. For instance, when your child asks politely if she can be excused instead of jumping up from the table, you can say, \\\"Thank you for asking so nicely and using your manners.\\\"\\nAlso, remember to offer encouragement for the hard work they put in, not just the finished product. For instance, no matter whether your kid wins or loses a tennis match, you can say that you are proud of her for putting in the hard work.\\n4-2. Respect privacy.\\nYour child will start to set her own boundaries as far as privacy goes. Because it's her way of asserting independence, you should try to respect that as often as possible with a few caveats. For instance, if your child is still fairly young, you may need to be in the bathroom while she bathes; however, you can work on something else so she doesn't feel like you're focusing on her.\\nRemind your child that occasionally, you or her doctor may need to examine her body to make sure she's still healthy.\\nMany children will start wanting privacy in elementary school. However, if your child seems to be very embarrassed about her body, you might want to make sure everything is fine with her, as that can be a sign of sexual abuse.\\n4-3. Set boundaries for your child.\\nBoundaries are good for kids because they help them know their limits. Your kids may not see it as a sign of respect initially, but boundaries will help them grow into positive, contributing adults.\\nPlan ahead, and tell your child the boundary in no uncertain terms. That is, you need to already know what rule you are going to enforce before you enforce it, and your kid needs to know she doesn't have any wiggle room. For instance, use a statement instead of a question: say \\\"Please clean up your room before you go outside,\\\" not \\\"Can you please clean up your room before you go outside?\\\" That doesn't mean that you have to be use a harsh tone; in fact, a neutral is better because it won't scare your kids.\\nDon't be afraid to use humor to encourage cooperativeness. Kids love silly voices and jokes, so try making the fork dance when you want her to eat or making her toothbrush talk to her.\\n4-4. Learn and teach coping strategies.\\nWhen you don't get your way, you need to learn to deal with that without yelling. For instance, you can use techniques to calm down, such as listening to a meditation CD. Alternatively, you can use a creative way to express yourself, such as drawing, coloring, or painting.\\nFor your kids, you can also help them talk about their feelings. One way to do that is to use visuals, such as a printout of different emotion faces. Have the child point to what they're feeling and then have them talk about how that relates to the situation. You could ask a question such as, \\\"What are you feeling right now? Can you point to the face that shows what you're feeling? What made you feel that way?\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being respectful of your family begins with being polite. It also means learning how to listen to each other when you disagree and even when you are upset. Another way of being respectful is just being there for one another and showing you care.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Polite\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"You don't like it when someone demands you do something without asking nicely, and a big part of being respectful is treating others the way you would want to be treated. In a family situation, it's easy to forget that, though, and leave off the niceties. Try to always remember to say \\\"please,\\\" \\\"thank you,\\\" and \\\"excuse me\\\" when appropriate, even to family members.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Watch your tone.\", \"描述\": \"This step goes hand-in-hand with saying \\\"please\\\" and \\\"thank you.\\\" That is, nobody likes to be ordered around. It's important to pay attention to the tone you're using when talking to family members.\\nFor instance, instead of demanding in a rude tone, \\\"Get me some juice!\\\" you could say, \\\"Would you mind getting me some juice, please?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be responsible for your own mess.\", \"描述\": \"One way to be respectful and polite is to clean up after yourself. If you leave a mess for someone else to clean, that shows you don't respect his or her time. Put your toys and items away, and put away dirty clothes. Clean up after yourself in the bathroom, and do your share of chores in the house.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning How to Disagree\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about your feelings instead of pointing blame.\", \"描述\": \"That is, use the word \\\"I\\\" when you get in a disagreement instead of \\\"you.\\\" If you're upset that your sister always hogs the bathroom, talk about how it makes you feel instead of simply placing blame on her.\\nFor instance, you could say, \\\"I feel disrespected when I don't get much time in the bathroom because then I don't have enough time to get ready. I feel unprepared for the day.\\\"\\nUsing \\\"I\\\" helps soften the tone. It helps the other person understand why you're upset. Pointing fingers often just makes them get defensive.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone gets a little heated when he or she gets upset. The trouble is, that can make you not think as clearly and say things you may regret later. If you feel your emotions taking over, ask to take a moment to calm down. Try focusing on breathing in and out for a few minutes or counting numbers until you feel yourself calm down.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay on topic.\", \"描述\": \"That is, don't throw stuff at the other person from past arguments. Don't remind them of the last time they said something wrong or did something wrong. It only heightens emotions and doesn't help the argument at hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Listen to what the other person has to say.\", \"描述\": \"In an argument, you tend to just want to make your point of view known; obviously, you think you are correct. However, you should take the time to really listen to what the other person has to say. Even if you decide to keep your point of view, you show respect to the other person by giving his or her view credibility and time.\\nTruly listening means actually considering what the person has to say. Don't just sit there thinking up arguments against it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't yell.\", \"描述\": \"Yelling can scare children, and it teaches them to yell, too, instead of talking about what's bothering them. Similarly, when you yell at an adult, it creates some amount of fear, which shuts them down, meaning they won't be able to actually listen to what you have to say.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be willing to change your mind.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're the parent, spouse, child, or sibling, sometimes the other person will have a point. That means that you need to be willing to change your mind if you realize you are wrong.\\nThis step also includes being willing to admit you've made a mistake. Sometimes you make a mistake, and you need to apologize. For instance, you could say, \\\"I realize now that I was wrong. I truly apologize for the mistake I made.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Showing You Care\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be present when talking.\", \"描述\": \"Truly listen to what the other person is saying. One way to physically show that you are listening is to stop doing anything else you are doing. Look the person in the eye. Let the person talk, and don't interrupt until he or she is done.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with each other.\", \"描述\": \"One way to show you value another person is to give them the gift of your time. Watch a movie together, or cook dinner together. Go out for a special outing. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you are taking the time to enjoy each others' company.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Support your family members' interests.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone needs some kind of hobby or outlet, and it's often different for each member of a family. Ask questions about what's going on with your family members' hobbies on a regular basis, and show up for important events if you can, such as going to dance recitals or baseball games.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer comfort when someone is sad.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice another family member is upset, try to offer them comfort. One thing you can do is just listen to what's bothering them and try to help where you can.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Respectful to Your Kids\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer encouragement to kids.\", \"描述\": \"Kids are still learning how to be polite and ask things in a respectful manner. Therefore, when your child does ask politely, make sure to offer encouragement of that behavior.\\nTry to be specific about your praise. For instance, when your child asks politely if she can be excused instead of jumping up from the table, you can say, \\\"Thank you for asking so nicely and using your manners.\\\"\\nAlso, remember to offer encouragement for the hard work they put in, not just the finished product. For instance, no matter whether your kid wins or loses a tennis match, you can say that you are proud of her for putting in the hard work.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Your child will start to set her own boundaries as far as privacy goes. Because it's her way of asserting independence, you should try to respect that as often as possible with a few caveats. For instance, if your child is still fairly young, you may need to be in the bathroom while she bathes; however, you can work on something else so she doesn't feel like you're focusing on her.\\nRemind your child that occasionally, you or her doctor may need to examine her body to make sure she's still healthy.\\nMany children will start wanting privacy in elementary school. However, if your child seems to be very embarrassed about her body, you might want to make sure everything is fine with her, as that can be a sign of sexual abuse.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set boundaries for your child.\", \"描述\": \"Boundaries are good for kids because they help them know their limits. Your kids may not see it as a sign of respect initially, but boundaries will help them grow into positive, contributing adults.\\nPlan ahead, and tell your child the boundary in no uncertain terms. That is, you need to already know what rule you are going to enforce before you enforce it, and your kid needs to know she doesn't have any wiggle room. For instance, use a statement instead of a question: say \\\"Please clean up your room before you go outside,\\\" not \\\"Can you please clean up your room before you go outside?\\\" That doesn't mean that you have to be use a harsh tone; in fact, a neutral is better because it won't scare your kids.\\nDon't be afraid to use humor to encourage cooperativeness. Kids love silly voices and jokes, so try making the fork dance when you want her to eat or making her toothbrush talk to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn and teach coping strategies.\", \"描述\": \"When you don't get your way, you need to learn to deal with that without yelling. For instance, you can use techniques to calm down, such as listening to a meditation CD. Alternatively, you can use a creative way to express yourself, such as drawing, coloring, or painting.\\nFor your kids, you can also help them talk about their feelings. One way to do that is to use visuals, such as a printout of different emotion faces. Have the child point to what they're feeling and then have them talk about how that relates to the situation. You could ask a question such as, \\\"What are you feeling right now? Can you point to the face that shows what you're feeling? What made you feel that way?\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,098 | How to Be Respectful of Your Parents | 1. Changing Your Thoughts and Feelings About Your Parents
1-1. Be grateful.
Gratitude is simply being thankful and appreciative for what you have. Aside from bringing you into the world, parents sacrifice time, energy, and effort in order to make sure your needs and wants are met. Showing them that you appreciate their efforts demonstrates a level of respect towards them.
Tell them face-to-face. The easiest way to show gratitude is to thank them and tell them that you appreciate who they are and what they do.
Do something small but meaningful. For example, clean the kitchen after dinner or take the trash out without being asked. Parents will notice and appreciate your acts of kindness.
Compliment them on something they do well. For instance, tell your mom how great of a cook she is, or tell your dad how awesome he is at his job.
1-2. Understand differing perspectives.
Respecting different opinions is a lifelong skill that is used in everything from politics to careers. Just because you choose to understand where your parents are coming from, does not mean that you lose your beliefs. Instead, looking at situations from their perspective can help both parties understand and accept a bit more about each other.
Ask your parents questions to learn more about them. Understand that your parents are from a different generation and a lot changes with time. Engaging them in conversation will help bridge the gap in order to understand each other better.
Keep a journal about your interactions with your parents. By re-reading a journal, you'll see things with more honesty instead of reinterpreting events in a way that benefits only you.
Talk to an unbiased party. Talking to someone who has nothing to gain can help you see things from others' perspectives, including that of your parents. Learning to see "where they are coming from" helps in building a mutually respectful relationship.
1-3. Value their wisdom.
Wisdom is known as the ability to integrate knowledge and an understanding of life in order to tackle all of the uncertainties which may come your way. Believe it or not, much of what you have experienced as a child or teen, your parents have experienced as well. For this reason, it is important to recognize that they have knowledge and judgement which should be respected.
As an example, if you were to visit a doctor, you would want someone who had the experience and training to diagnose and treat your illness. The same is true for parents. Learning to see them as professionals at life will help you to develop a different level of respect for them.
1-4. Remember how much they love you.
There is no way to put into numbers or percentages how much a parent loves a child. Not only do they give life to their children, but they raise them, provide them with guidance, help them overcome obstacles, give of themselves and love them unconditionally. As children, we often forget how much they have done in our lives. Taking a second to think of their love and support can help to build bonds of love and respect.
Recognize that when parents seem to be getting in your way, they are, but with good reason. Parents often act as a shield to protect their kids from anything they consider to be harmful.
Because parents love you they are concerned about your future success. When parents perceive your behavior as something that threatens to limit your potential achievement, it can often cause conflict in your relationship. Realize that it usually comes from a place of love.
2. Changing Your Behavior Towards Your Parents
2-1. Follow rules.
As children, we often don't agree with the rules our parents have set, but we don't have the foresight to realize that the rules are in place for a reason. Rules matter because as people we are interdependent; when you disregard rules there are consequences which not only affect you, but others as well (including your parents). Following rules demonstrates to your parents that you respect their foresight and judgement.
Be clear about expectations. Know what your parents' rules are so you can avoid any confusion and avoid accidentally breaking rules.
Take a second to stop and think about the consequences. Think about what ripple effect your actions may have and how it will impact you and those around you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it.
2-2. Practice good manners.
Manners aren't just about which fork to use at the dinner table; manners demonstrate a sensitive awareness of others' feelings. Caring enough to be polite towards your parents, who you've known your entire life, shows a level of respect and reverence.
Say "please," and "thank you." Words are powerful and each of those words carries meaning. Aside from being polite, it shows a level of gratitude and appreciation which are both part of respecting your parents.
Watch your language. Be careful about the topics of conversations and your word choice around your parents. Parents always think of their children as their babies (regardless of how old they are). They would prefer to see them through a clean and pure lens.
2-3. Spend time with them.
At some point in your life (especially your teenage years), you would rather do anything other than spend time with your parents, and your parents know and accept this. But imagine how much love, admiration, and respect they would feel if you chose to spend some unexpected quality time with them.
Tap into their interests. Take an interest in what your parents do in their spare time. Whether it's sports, dancing, music, or gardening, ask them questions and show them that you are taking an interest in them.
Make them a priority by choosing to spend time with them over your friends once in a while. They'll really appreciate the gesture.
2-4. Show them affection.
As we get older, we tend to forget to give hugs and kisses to those we love. By choosing to be close to your parents through physical displays of affection, it shows that you recognize, respect, and appreciate their position as parents and caregivers.
Tell your parents you love them at random times and not just when expected or when you want something.
Give your parents random hugs or kisses just because. If they ask what the unexpected action was for tell them something like, "just because you're you."
3. Improving Communication With Your Parents
3-1. Don't talk back.
Backtalk is a disrespectful response to a parent in the form of yelling, cursing, eye rolling, or even sarcasm. It occurs as a way to fight back, but all it does is create conflict. Learning to manage knee-jerk reactions helps to show parents that you respect their authority.
Recognize the problem first. If you realize the problem and want to change it, you've already taken the biggest step. It takes maturity to understand the differing perspectives and reactions between kids and parents.
Apologize to your parents. Admit to your parents that you have disrespected them, and ask them for their assistance as you attempt to change your behavior.
Take a mental "time-out." The next time you are tempted to say something disrespectful, take a second to regroup before speaking from emotion alone. Take into consideration what your parents are saying, and where they are coming from.
3-2. Watch your body language.
The majority of our communication comes from not what we say, but how we say it. It's in the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and the way you move. Be sure that your nonverbal signals demonstrate respect and understanding.
Avoid crossing your arms. This shows that you are defensive and not open to communicating.
Watch your tone. Avoid being sarcastic or raising the tone of your voice. This shows that emotions are beginning to take over instead of logic. Try speaking in a calm and controlled manner instead.
Make eye contact. This shows that you are genuine in what you are saying and that you are interested in hearing what your parents have to say as well.
3-3. Don't bring up the past.
In the heat of discussions, you may veer off point and discuss any and everything that is causing you anger, pain, or stress. Try to stay focused on a single point of discussion so you can work through your problems one at a time without getting overwhelmed.
Check for unresolved problems before beginning a conversation. If you know you're holding onto anger or pain, they can be a hindrance to effective communication. Clear up any unresolved issues (one at a time) before attempting to move forward.
At the beginning of your conversation, make an agreement with your parents that you will only focus on one issue at a time. If either of you seems to be straying from the topic, politely remind each other to stay on topic.
3-4. Agree to disagree.
Parents are not always right, but that doesn't mean you have to be disrespectful in the process of proving your point. Instead of getting into a shouting match with your parents, calmly and rationally get them to see your point of view.
Write it out. Consider what point you're trying to get across to your parents, and write out reasons and examples that will support your argument.
Talk to them at a later time. Reschedule your discussion for a time when emotions aren't running high. Instead, choose a time when your parents aren't busy or stressed to sit down and calmly present your argument.
Use "I" statements to get your point across without being defensive. "I" statements consist of the behavior that is bothering you, how it makes you feel, and what needs to change. For example, instead of saying, "you never listen to me" you could replace the statement with "I feel as if I'm not being heard, and I would like my opinion to matter more."
3-5. Engage in open conversation.
Allow your parents into your world. Tell them about school, your job, your crush, or anything interesting that you might not have shared previously. Share any worries or fears with your parents, as they've probably been through something similar before. By engaging them in genuine conversation it shows that you both trust them, and care about their opinion.
Trust them with your secrets. Of course, you won't feel comfortable telling your parents everything, but showing them that you trust them with a small secret will demonstrate your appreciation towards their wisdom.
Don't be afraid to show emotions. It's okay to show fear, anger, nervousness, joy or any other emotions with your parents. Allowing them into your life is just a small gesture to show them you care.
Tips
Parents work hard every day to make sure you have both your needs and your wants met. They deserve your respect; even if you don't always get along, show them respect and tell them that you appreciate them.
Buy them random gifts and treats, even if it's not a special occasion. A small box of chocolates, or a bottle of wine, can show just how much you care.
Keep in mind that parents aren't perfect. They've made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. Learn to love them unconditionally, just as they do towards you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:43",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Thoughts and Feelings About Your Parents\\n1-1. Be grateful.\\nGratitude is simply being thankful and appreciative for what you have. Aside from bringing you into the world, parents sacrifice time, energy, and effort in order to make sure your needs and wants are met. Showing them that you appreciate their efforts demonstrates a level of respect towards them.\\nTell them face-to-face. The easiest way to show gratitude is to thank them and tell them that you appreciate who they are and what they do.\\nDo something small but meaningful. For example, clean the kitchen after dinner or take the trash out without being asked. Parents will notice and appreciate your acts of kindness.\\nCompliment them on something they do well. For instance, tell your mom how great of a cook she is, or tell your dad how awesome he is at his job.\\n1-2. Understand differing perspectives.\\nRespecting different opinions is a lifelong skill that is used in everything from politics to careers. Just because you choose to understand where your parents are coming from, does not mean that you lose your beliefs. Instead, looking at situations from their perspective can help both parties understand and accept a bit more about each other.\\nAsk your parents questions to learn more about them. Understand that your parents are from a different generation and a lot changes with time. Engaging them in conversation will help bridge the gap in order to understand each other better.\\nKeep a journal about your interactions with your parents. By re-reading a journal, you'll see things with more honesty instead of reinterpreting events in a way that benefits only you.\\nTalk to an unbiased party. Talking to someone who has nothing to gain can help you see things from others' perspectives, including that of your parents. Learning to see \\\"where they are coming from\\\" helps in building a mutually respectful relationship.\\n1-3. Value their wisdom.\\nWisdom is known as the ability to integrate knowledge and an understanding of life in order to tackle all of the uncertainties which may come your way. Believe it or not, much of what you have experienced as a child or teen, your parents have experienced as well. For this reason, it is important to recognize that they have knowledge and judgement which should be respected.\\nAs an example, if you were to visit a doctor, you would want someone who had the experience and training to diagnose and treat your illness. The same is true for parents. Learning to see them as professionals at life will help you to develop a different level of respect for them.\\n1-4. Remember how much they love you.\\nThere is no way to put into numbers or percentages how much a parent loves a child. Not only do they give life to their children, but they raise them, provide them with guidance, help them overcome obstacles, give of themselves and love them unconditionally. As children, we often forget how much they have done in our lives. Taking a second to think of their love and support can help to build bonds of love and respect.\\nRecognize that when parents seem to be getting in your way, they are, but with good reason. Parents often act as a shield to protect their kids from anything they consider to be harmful.\\nBecause parents love you they are concerned about your future success. When parents perceive your behavior as something that threatens to limit your potential achievement, it can often cause conflict in your relationship. Realize that it usually comes from a place of love.\\n2. Changing Your Behavior Towards Your Parents\\n2-1. Follow rules.\\nAs children, we often don't agree with the rules our parents have set, but we don't have the foresight to realize that the rules are in place for a reason. Rules matter because as people we are interdependent; when you disregard rules there are consequences which not only affect you, but others as well (including your parents). Following rules demonstrates to your parents that you respect their foresight and judgement.\\nBe clear about expectations. Know what your parents' rules are so you can avoid any confusion and avoid accidentally breaking rules.\\nTake a second to stop and think about the consequences. Think about what ripple effect your actions may have and how it will impact you and those around you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it.\\n2-2. Practice good manners.\\nManners aren't just about which fork to use at the dinner table; manners demonstrate a sensitive awareness of others' feelings. Caring enough to be polite towards your parents, who you've known your entire life, shows a level of respect and reverence.\\nSay \\\"please,\\\" and \\\"thank you.\\\" Words are powerful and each of those words carries meaning. Aside from being polite, it shows a level of gratitude and appreciation which are both part of respecting your parents.\\nWatch your language. Be careful about the topics of conversations and your word choice around your parents. Parents always think of their children as their babies (regardless of how old they are). They would prefer to see them through a clean and pure lens.\\n2-3. Spend time with them.\\nAt some point in your life (especially your teenage years), you would rather do anything other than spend time with your parents, and your parents know and accept this. But imagine how much love, admiration, and respect they would feel if you chose to spend some unexpected quality time with them.\\nTap into their interests. Take an interest in what your parents do in their spare time. Whether it's sports, dancing, music, or gardening, ask them questions and show them that you are taking an interest in them.\\nMake them a priority by choosing to spend time with them over your friends once in a while. They'll really appreciate the gesture.\\n2-4. Show them affection.\\nAs we get older, we tend to forget to give hugs and kisses to those we love. By choosing to be close to your parents through physical displays of affection, it shows that you recognize, respect, and appreciate their position as parents and caregivers.\\nTell your parents you love them at random times and not just when expected or when you want something.\\nGive your parents random hugs or kisses just because. If they ask what the unexpected action was for tell them something like, \\\"just because you're you.\\\"\\n3. Improving Communication With Your Parents\\n3-1. Don't talk back.\\nBacktalk is a disrespectful response to a parent in the form of yelling, cursing, eye rolling, or even sarcasm. It occurs as a way to fight back, but all it does is create conflict. Learning to manage knee-jerk reactions helps to show parents that you respect their authority.\\nRecognize the problem first. If you realize the problem and want to change it, you've already taken the biggest step. It takes maturity to understand the differing perspectives and reactions between kids and parents.\\nApologize to your parents. Admit to your parents that you have disrespected them, and ask them for their assistance as you attempt to change your behavior.\\nTake a mental \\\"time-out.\\\" The next time you are tempted to say something disrespectful, take a second to regroup before speaking from emotion alone. Take into consideration what your parents are saying, and where they are coming from.\\n3-2. Watch your body language.\\nThe majority of our communication comes from not what we say, but how we say it. It's in the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and the way you move. Be sure that your nonverbal signals demonstrate respect and understanding.\\nAvoid crossing your arms. This shows that you are defensive and not open to communicating.\\nWatch your tone. Avoid being sarcastic or raising the tone of your voice. This shows that emotions are beginning to take over instead of logic. Try speaking in a calm and controlled manner instead.\\nMake eye contact. This shows that you are genuine in what you are saying and that you are interested in hearing what your parents have to say as well.\\n3-3. Don't bring up the past.\\nIn the heat of discussions, you may veer off point and discuss any and everything that is causing you anger, pain, or stress. Try to stay focused on a single point of discussion so you can work through your problems one at a time without getting overwhelmed.\\nCheck for unresolved problems before beginning a conversation. If you know you're holding onto anger or pain, they can be a hindrance to effective communication. Clear up any unresolved issues (one at a time) before attempting to move forward.\\nAt the beginning of your conversation, make an agreement with your parents that you will only focus on one issue at a time. If either of you seems to be straying from the topic, politely remind each other to stay on topic.\\n3-4. Agree to disagree.\\nParents are not always right, but that doesn't mean you have to be disrespectful in the process of proving your point. Instead of getting into a shouting match with your parents, calmly and rationally get them to see your point of view.\\nWrite it out. Consider what point you're trying to get across to your parents, and write out reasons and examples that will support your argument.\\nTalk to them at a later time. Reschedule your discussion for a time when emotions aren't running high. Instead, choose a time when your parents aren't busy or stressed to sit down and calmly present your argument.\\nUse \\\"I\\\" statements to get your point across without being defensive. \\\"I\\\" statements consist of the behavior that is bothering you, how it makes you feel, and what needs to change. For example, instead of saying, \\\"you never listen to me\\\" you could replace the statement with \\\"I feel as if I'm not being heard, and I would like my opinion to matter more.\\\"\\n3-5. Engage in open conversation.\\nAllow your parents into your world. Tell them about school, your job, your crush, or anything interesting that you might not have shared previously. Share any worries or fears with your parents, as they've probably been through something similar before. By engaging them in genuine conversation it shows that you both trust them, and care about their opinion.\\nTrust them with your secrets. Of course, you won't feel comfortable telling your parents everything, but showing them that you trust them with a small secret will demonstrate your appreciation towards their wisdom.\\nDon't be afraid to show emotions. It's okay to show fear, anger, nervousness, joy or any other emotions with your parents. Allowing them into your life is just a small gesture to show them you care.\\nTips\\nParents work hard every day to make sure you have both your needs and your wants met. They deserve your respect; even if you don't always get along, show them respect and tell them that you appreciate them.\\nBuy them random gifts and treats, even if it's not a special occasion. A small box of chocolates, or a bottle of wine, can show just how much you care.\\nKeep in mind that parents aren't perfect. They've made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. Learn to love them unconditionally, just as they do towards you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes it may seem like your parents don’t understand, and that can lead to a negative relationship with them. Despite that, it is important to remain respectful toward your parents. If you want to show your parents more respect, you can easily reevaluate your thoughts and actions towards your parents to ensure that you’re treating them with the kindness they deserve.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Thoughts and Feelings About Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be grateful.\", \"描述\": \"Gratitude is simply being thankful and appreciative for what you have. Aside from bringing you into the world, parents sacrifice time, energy, and effort in order to make sure your needs and wants are met. Showing them that you appreciate their efforts demonstrates a level of respect towards them.\\nTell them face-to-face. The easiest way to show gratitude is to thank them and tell them that you appreciate who they are and what they do.\\nDo something small but meaningful. For example, clean the kitchen after dinner or take the trash out without being asked. Parents will notice and appreciate your acts of kindness.\\nCompliment them on something they do well. For instance, tell your mom how great of a cook she is, or tell your dad how awesome he is at his job.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand differing perspectives.\", \"描述\": \"Respecting different opinions is a lifelong skill that is used in everything from politics to careers. Just because you choose to understand where your parents are coming from, does not mean that you lose your beliefs. Instead, looking at situations from their perspective can help both parties understand and accept a bit more about each other.\\nAsk your parents questions to learn more about them. Understand that your parents are from a different generation and a lot changes with time. Engaging them in conversation will help bridge the gap in order to understand each other better.\\nKeep a journal about your interactions with your parents. By re-reading a journal, you'll see things with more honesty instead of reinterpreting events in a way that benefits only you.\\nTalk to an unbiased party. Talking to someone who has nothing to gain can help you see things from others' perspectives, including that of your parents. Learning to see \\\"where they are coming from\\\" helps in building a mutually respectful relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Value their wisdom.\", \"描述\": \"Wisdom is known as the ability to integrate knowledge and an understanding of life in order to tackle all of the uncertainties which may come your way. Believe it or not, much of what you have experienced as a child or teen, your parents have experienced as well. For this reason, it is important to recognize that they have knowledge and judgement which should be respected.\\nAs an example, if you were to visit a doctor, you would want someone who had the experience and training to diagnose and treat your illness. The same is true for parents. Learning to see them as professionals at life will help you to develop a different level of respect for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember how much they love you.\", \"描述\": \"There is no way to put into numbers or percentages how much a parent loves a child. Not only do they give life to their children, but they raise them, provide them with guidance, help them overcome obstacles, give of themselves and love them unconditionally. As children, we often forget how much they have done in our lives. Taking a second to think of their love and support can help to build bonds of love and respect.\\nRecognize that when parents seem to be getting in your way, they are, but with good reason. Parents often act as a shield to protect their kids from anything they consider to be harmful.\\nBecause parents love you they are concerned about your future success. When parents perceive your behavior as something that threatens to limit your potential achievement, it can often cause conflict in your relationship. Realize that it usually comes from a place of love.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Behavior Towards Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow rules.\", \"描述\": \"As children, we often don't agree with the rules our parents have set, but we don't have the foresight to realize that the rules are in place for a reason. Rules matter because as people we are interdependent; when you disregard rules there are consequences which not only affect you, but others as well (including your parents). Following rules demonstrates to your parents that you respect their foresight and judgement.\\nBe clear about expectations. Know what your parents' rules are so you can avoid any confusion and avoid accidentally breaking rules.\\nTake a second to stop and think about the consequences. Think about what ripple effect your actions may have and how it will impact you and those around you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice good manners.\", \"描述\": \"Manners aren't just about which fork to use at the dinner table; manners demonstrate a sensitive awareness of others' feelings. Caring enough to be polite towards your parents, who you've known your entire life, shows a level of respect and reverence.\\nSay \\\"please,\\\" and \\\"thank you.\\\" Words are powerful and each of those words carries meaning. Aside from being polite, it shows a level of gratitude and appreciation which are both part of respecting your parents.\\nWatch your language. Be careful about the topics of conversations and your word choice around your parents. Parents always think of their children as their babies (regardless of how old they are). They would prefer to see them through a clean and pure lens.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time with them.\", \"描述\": \"At some point in your life (especially your teenage years), you would rather do anything other than spend time with your parents, and your parents know and accept this. But imagine how much love, admiration, and respect they would feel if you chose to spend some unexpected quality time with them.\\nTap into their interests. Take an interest in what your parents do in their spare time. Whether it's sports, dancing, music, or gardening, ask them questions and show them that you are taking an interest in them.\\nMake them a priority by choosing to spend time with them over your friends once in a while. They'll really appreciate the gesture.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show them affection.\", \"描述\": \"As we get older, we tend to forget to give hugs and kisses to those we love. By choosing to be close to your parents through physical displays of affection, it shows that you recognize, respect, and appreciate their position as parents and caregivers.\\nTell your parents you love them at random times and not just when expected or when you want something.\\nGive your parents random hugs or kisses just because. If they ask what the unexpected action was for tell them something like, \\\"just because you're you.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Communication With Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't talk back.\", \"描述\": \"Backtalk is a disrespectful response to a parent in the form of yelling, cursing, eye rolling, or even sarcasm. It occurs as a way to fight back, but all it does is create conflict. Learning to manage knee-jerk reactions helps to show parents that you respect their authority.\\nRecognize the problem first. If you realize the problem and want to change it, you've already taken the biggest step. It takes maturity to understand the differing perspectives and reactions between kids and parents.\\nApologize to your parents. Admit to your parents that you have disrespected them, and ask them for their assistance as you attempt to change your behavior.\\nTake a mental \\\"time-out.\\\" The next time you are tempted to say something disrespectful, take a second to regroup before speaking from emotion alone. Take into consideration what your parents are saying, and where they are coming from.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"The majority of our communication comes from not what we say, but how we say it. It's in the tone of your voice, your eye contact, and the way you move. Be sure that your nonverbal signals demonstrate respect and understanding.\\nAvoid crossing your arms. This shows that you are defensive and not open to communicating.\\nWatch your tone. Avoid being sarcastic or raising the tone of your voice. This shows that emotions are beginning to take over instead of logic. Try speaking in a calm and controlled manner instead.\\nMake eye contact. This shows that you are genuine in what you are saying and that you are interested in hearing what your parents have to say as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't bring up the past.\", \"描述\": \"In the heat of discussions, you may veer off point and discuss any and everything that is causing you anger, pain, or stress. Try to stay focused on a single point of discussion so you can work through your problems one at a time without getting overwhelmed.\\nCheck for unresolved problems before beginning a conversation. If you know you're holding onto anger or pain, they can be a hindrance to effective communication. Clear up any unresolved issues (one at a time) before attempting to move forward.\\nAt the beginning of your conversation, make an agreement with your parents that you will only focus on one issue at a time. If either of you seems to be straying from the topic, politely remind each other to stay on topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Agree to disagree.\", \"描述\": \"Parents are not always right, but that doesn't mean you have to be disrespectful in the process of proving your point. Instead of getting into a shouting match with your parents, calmly and rationally get them to see your point of view.\\nWrite it out. Consider what point you're trying to get across to your parents, and write out reasons and examples that will support your argument.\\nTalk to them at a later time. Reschedule your discussion for a time when emotions aren't running high. Instead, choose a time when your parents aren't busy or stressed to sit down and calmly present your argument.\\nUse \\\"I\\\" statements to get your point across without being defensive. \\\"I\\\" statements consist of the behavior that is bothering you, how it makes you feel, and what needs to change. For example, instead of saying, \\\"you never listen to me\\\" you could replace the statement with \\\"I feel as if I'm not being heard, and I would like my opinion to matter more.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Engage in open conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Allow your parents into your world. Tell them about school, your job, your crush, or anything interesting that you might not have shared previously. Share any worries or fears with your parents, as they've probably been through something similar before. By engaging them in genuine conversation it shows that you both trust them, and care about their opinion.\\nTrust them with your secrets. Of course, you won't feel comfortable telling your parents everything, but showing them that you trust them with a small secret will demonstrate your appreciation towards their wisdom.\\nDon't be afraid to show emotions. It's okay to show fear, anger, nervousness, joy or any other emotions with your parents. Allowing them into your life is just a small gesture to show them you care.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Parents work hard every day to make sure you have both your needs and your wants met. They deserve your respect; even if you don't always get along, show them respect and tell them that you appreciate them.\\n\", \"Buy them random gifts and treats, even if it's not a special occasion. A small box of chocolates, or a bottle of wine, can show just how much you care.\\n\", \"Keep in mind that parents aren't perfect. They've made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. Learn to love them unconditionally, just as they do towards you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,099 | How to Be Respectful when Visiting a Hindu Temple | 1. Preparing to Visit the Temple
1-1. Wash yourself before visiting a temple.
Before you plan to go to temple, you should take a shower or bath. Anyone is allowed entry inside a temple, but since temples are spiritual places, it’s traditional to bathe before attending a temple.
To prepare yourself mentally and spiritually, you may also wish to take several moments to pray and think about God or your personal spiritual beliefs.
1-2. Dress appropriately for the temple.
While it’s not necessary to wear traditional Indian clothing to a temple, both men and women should wear modest, conservative clothing to the temple. This will indicate respect for the sacred place, and will allow other attendees to focus on the temple gods and their own acts of worship, rather than being distracted by loud or inappropriate clothing.
Women should wear a long skirt or dress. It’s also appropriate for women to wear long pants. Wear something that is loose enough for you to comfortably sit cross-legged in.
Men should wear business-casual clothing, such as slacks and a button-down shirt.
Avoid wearing animal skin of any kind; this could be offensive to practicing Hindus.
1-3. Buy offerings to bring to the temple.
Deities can be offered various material things: flowers and fruit are common and affordable choices. You could also choose to offer cloth or sweets. Presenting your offerings to the temple deities is a form of respect. Hindus believe that offerings like these will please the Gods and may result in blessings and fulfilled prayers.
Commercial establishments generally set up makeshift shops in the surrounding area selling various things that you can offer the statues.
It is not required to bring offerings; if you would rather not bring offerings for your first visit, you don’t have to.
2. Entering the Temple
2-1. Remove your footwear outside the temple.
Most temples will have a space designated for your shoes: usually a series of cubby-holes along one of the temple’s exterior walls. Removing shoes shows respect for the temple and the deity statues within. This is not optional: removing shoes, sandals, or any other footwear is a mandatory rule of every Hindu temple.
Socks are fine, you can keep wearing them. However, if the temple floor is made of marble or any other slippery stone, you want to remove socks so you don’t fall.
2-2. Circulate through the temple.
Traditionally, upon entering a Hindu temple, you’ll see an array of deities and statues arranged around the temple walls. Begin with the deity on your left. From there, continue to walk through the temple in a clockwise direction, pausing before each deity you come across.
Many temples have separate queues for men and women, and you will have to follow it accordingly.
If you’d like to know ahead of time if there are separate queues for each gender, you can call the temple and ask in advance.
2-3. Respectfully view the statues.
When you finally get to see the statue closely, you may join the palms of your hands near the heart into a “namaskara” (a traditional pose) and bow. This is the minimum act you should perform in front of each statue as a respectful gesture.
Practicing Hindus will often bow or fully prostrate themselves in front of statues as a sign of respect and reverence. If you feel comfortable, you can prostrate yourself as well, although it’s not required.
3. Moving Through the Temple
3-1. Bring your offerings before individual statues.
If you have brought fruit or flowers to offer to the deity, you may do this as you circulate through the temple. Hand each offering to the priest sitting outside the idol’s chamber. Under no circumstances should you enter the inner chamber. The inner chamber or the chamber where the idol is seated is considered the most sacred and private area and no one can go in without previous sanction.
If there is no priest outside the chamber, there may be a nearby platform for worshipers to place their offerings on.
3-2. Accept any items from the priest.
While you are in the temple, you may notice a priest pouring water over the hands of worshipers. This is a spiritual, purifying gesture: if the priest offers you the water, let him pour it over your hands.
The priests may also give “Prasad:” blessed food (always vegetarian) which is offered to the deities. Prasad is also considered holy, and you should eat it outside the temple.
Anything the priest gives you should be accepted with your right hand. Avoid taking or giving anything with the left hand.
3-3. Avoid touching shrines or statues.
A single temple can house hundreds of statues—do not attempt to touch any one of them; this will be seen as an inappropriate and disrespectful act. In Hindu faith, only priests are permitted to touch the statues. Keep a respectful distance.
Also avoid photography. Taking pictures is restricted or forbidden in many temples. Before taking a photo, look for the temple’s rules. Rules may be written outside on noticeboards, or you may ask someone, including the priest.
3-4. Follow rules of common decency.
The temple is a sacred, holy space, and you should exhibit polite, constrained behavior when visiting. You can speak quietly, but avoid loud conversation, laughter, or crying. Do not chew gum loudly—or at all—and throw any trash you have in a trash can. To show your respect for the temple, turn your phone off when you enter, and don’t smoke in or around the temple.
A priest may offer to place a small mark on your forehead (usually made from ash or turmeric). You may accept or decline as you feel comfortable; the mark carries no great spiritual significance and does not necessarily indicate a belief in the Hindu religion.
3-5. Provide a donation, if desired.
As you make your way through the temple, you may see a small donation box. If you feel like donating, fold the bills and put them with your right hand in the donation box. Remember that donations are never required and you do not have to donate.
Even if someone coaxes you to donate, you always have the right to refuse.
3-6. Keep an eye out for beggars.
Depending on your location, you may find many beggars outside temples. You don’t have to give them cash if you don’t want to. If you want to help them temporarily, buy them some food.
If you are alone, it would be a good idea to not encourage beggars. They can be persistent, and can keep following you or trouble you for more money.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Visit the Temple\\n1-1. Wash yourself before visiting a temple.\\nBefore you plan to go to temple, you should take a shower or bath. Anyone is allowed entry inside a temple, but since temples are spiritual places, it’s traditional to bathe before attending a temple.\\nTo prepare yourself mentally and spiritually, you may also wish to take several moments to pray and think about God or your personal spiritual beliefs.\\n1-2. Dress appropriately for the temple.\\nWhile it’s not necessary to wear traditional Indian clothing to a temple, both men and women should wear modest, conservative clothing to the temple. This will indicate respect for the sacred place, and will allow other attendees to focus on the temple gods and their own acts of worship, rather than being distracted by loud or inappropriate clothing.\\nWomen should wear a long skirt or dress. It’s also appropriate for women to wear long pants. Wear something that is loose enough for you to comfortably sit cross-legged in.\\nMen should wear business-casual clothing, such as slacks and a button-down shirt.\\nAvoid wearing animal skin of any kind; this could be offensive to practicing Hindus.\\n1-3. Buy offerings to bring to the temple.\\nDeities can be offered various material things: flowers and fruit are common and affordable choices. You could also choose to offer cloth or sweets. Presenting your offerings to the temple deities is a form of respect. Hindus believe that offerings like these will please the Gods and may result in blessings and fulfilled prayers.\\nCommercial establishments generally set up makeshift shops in the surrounding area selling various things that you can offer the statues.\\nIt is not required to bring offerings; if you would rather not bring offerings for your first visit, you don’t have to.\\n2. Entering the Temple\\n2-1. Remove your footwear outside the temple.\\nMost temples will have a space designated for your shoes: usually a series of cubby-holes along one of the temple’s exterior walls. Removing shoes shows respect for the temple and the deity statues within. This is not optional: removing shoes, sandals, or any other footwear is a mandatory rule of every Hindu temple.\\nSocks are fine, you can keep wearing them. However, if the temple floor is made of marble or any other slippery stone, you want to remove socks so you don’t fall.\\n2-2. Circulate through the temple.\\nTraditionally, upon entering a Hindu temple, you’ll see an array of deities and statues arranged around the temple walls. Begin with the deity on your left. From there, continue to walk through the temple in a clockwise direction, pausing before each deity you come across.\\nMany temples have separate queues for men and women, and you will have to follow it accordingly.\\nIf you’d like to know ahead of time if there are separate queues for each gender, you can call the temple and ask in advance.\\n2-3. Respectfully view the statues.\\nWhen you finally get to see the statue closely, you may join the palms of your hands near the heart into a “namaskara” (a traditional pose) and bow. This is the minimum act you should perform in front of each statue as a respectful gesture.\\nPracticing Hindus will often bow or fully prostrate themselves in front of statues as a sign of respect and reverence. If you feel comfortable, you can prostrate yourself as well, although it’s not required.\\n3. Moving Through the Temple\\n3-1. Bring your offerings before individual statues.\\nIf you have brought fruit or flowers to offer to the deity, you may do this as you circulate through the temple. Hand each offering to the priest sitting outside the idol’s chamber. Under no circumstances should you enter the inner chamber. The inner chamber or the chamber where the idol is seated is considered the most sacred and private area and no one can go in without previous sanction.\\nIf there is no priest outside the chamber, there may be a nearby platform for worshipers to place their offerings on.\\n3-2. Accept any items from the priest.\\nWhile you are in the temple, you may notice a priest pouring water over the hands of worshipers. This is a spiritual, purifying gesture: if the priest offers you the water, let him pour it over your hands.\\nThe priests may also give “Prasad:” blessed food (always vegetarian) which is offered to the deities. Prasad is also considered holy, and you should eat it outside the temple.\\nAnything the priest gives you should be accepted with your right hand. Avoid taking or giving anything with the left hand.\\n3-3. Avoid touching shrines or statues.\\nA single temple can house hundreds of statues—do not attempt to touch any one of them; this will be seen as an inappropriate and disrespectful act. In Hindu faith, only priests are permitted to touch the statues. Keep a respectful distance.\\nAlso avoid photography. Taking pictures is restricted or forbidden in many temples. Before taking a photo, look for the temple’s rules. Rules may be written outside on noticeboards, or you may ask someone, including the priest.\\n3-4. Follow rules of common decency.\\nThe temple is a sacred, holy space, and you should exhibit polite, constrained behavior when visiting. You can speak quietly, but avoid loud conversation, laughter, or crying. Do not chew gum loudly—or at all—and throw any trash you have in a trash can. To show your respect for the temple, turn your phone off when you enter, and don’t smoke in or around the temple.\\nA priest may offer to place a small mark on your forehead (usually made from ash or turmeric). You may accept or decline as you feel comfortable; the mark carries no great spiritual significance and does not necessarily indicate a belief in the Hindu religion.\\n3-5. Provide a donation, if desired.\\nAs you make your way through the temple, you may see a small donation box. If you feel like donating, fold the bills and put them with your right hand in the donation box. Remember that donations are never required and you do not have to donate.\\nEven if someone coaxes you to donate, you always have the right to refuse.\\n3-6. Keep an eye out for beggars.\\nDepending on your location, you may find many beggars outside temples. You don’t have to give them cash if you don’t want to. If you want to help them temporarily, buy them some food.\\nIf you are alone, it would be a good idea to not encourage beggars. They can be persistent, and can keep following you or trouble you for more money.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are foreign to Hindu temples and culture but would like to learn about this faith, visiting a temple is a good way to begin. You do not have to practice the Hindu religion to visit a Hindu temple; their temples are open for any to visit. You may decide to visit at a significant time, such as when a specific service or ceremony is being conducted. Otherwise, drop by and observe the temple for yourself, or call ahead and ask if they can offer you a guided tour. Since Hindu temples are sacred places to people of Hindu faith, behave calmly and respectfully at all times.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Visit the Temple\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wash yourself before visiting a temple.\", \"描述\": \"Before you plan to go to temple, you should take a shower or bath. Anyone is allowed entry inside a temple, but since temples are spiritual places, it’s traditional to bathe before attending a temple.\\nTo prepare yourself mentally and spiritually, you may also wish to take several moments to pray and think about God or your personal spiritual beliefs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress appropriately for the temple.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s not necessary to wear traditional Indian clothing to a temple, both men and women should wear modest, conservative clothing to the temple. This will indicate respect for the sacred place, and will allow other attendees to focus on the temple gods and their own acts of worship, rather than being distracted by loud or inappropriate clothing.\\nWomen should wear a long skirt or dress. It’s also appropriate for women to wear long pants. Wear something that is loose enough for you to comfortably sit cross-legged in.\\nMen should wear business-casual clothing, such as slacks and a button-down shirt.\\nAvoid wearing animal skin of any kind; this could be offensive to practicing Hindus.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy offerings to bring to the temple.\", \"描述\": \"Deities can be offered various material things: flowers and fruit are common and affordable choices. You could also choose to offer cloth or sweets. Presenting your offerings to the temple deities is a form of respect. Hindus believe that offerings like these will please the Gods and may result in blessings and fulfilled prayers.\\nCommercial establishments generally set up makeshift shops in the surrounding area selling various things that you can offer the statues.\\nIt is not required to bring offerings; if you would rather not bring offerings for your first visit, you don’t have to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Entering the Temple\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remove your footwear outside the temple.\", \"描述\": \"Most temples will have a space designated for your shoes: usually a series of cubby-holes along one of the temple’s exterior walls. Removing shoes shows respect for the temple and the deity statues within. This is not optional: removing shoes, sandals, or any other footwear is a mandatory rule of every Hindu temple.\\nSocks are fine, you can keep wearing them. However, if the temple floor is made of marble or any other slippery stone, you want to remove socks so you don’t fall.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Circulate through the temple.\", \"描述\": \"Traditionally, upon entering a Hindu temple, you’ll see an array of deities and statues arranged around the temple walls. Begin with the deity on your left. From there, continue to walk through the temple in a clockwise direction, pausing before each deity you come across.\\nMany temples have separate queues for men and women, and you will have to follow it accordingly.\\nIf you’d like to know ahead of time if there are separate queues for each gender, you can call the temple and ask in advance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respectfully view the statues.\", \"描述\": \"When you finally get to see the statue closely, you may join the palms of your hands near the heart into a “namaskara” (a traditional pose) and bow. This is the minimum act you should perform in front of each statue as a respectful gesture.\\nPracticing Hindus will often bow or fully prostrate themselves in front of statues as a sign of respect and reverence. If you feel comfortable, you can prostrate yourself as well, although it’s not required.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving Through the Temple\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring your offerings before individual statues.\", \"描述\": \"If you have brought fruit or flowers to offer to the deity, you may do this as you circulate through the temple. Hand each offering to the priest sitting outside the idol’s chamber. Under no circumstances should you enter the inner chamber. The inner chamber or the chamber where the idol is seated is considered the most sacred and private area and no one can go in without previous sanction.\\nIf there is no priest outside the chamber, there may be a nearby platform for worshipers to place their offerings on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept any items from the priest.\", \"描述\": \"While you are in the temple, you may notice a priest pouring water over the hands of worshipers. This is a spiritual, purifying gesture: if the priest offers you the water, let him pour it over your hands.\\nThe priests may also give “Prasad:” blessed food (always vegetarian) which is offered to the deities. Prasad is also considered holy, and you should eat it outside the temple.\\nAnything the priest gives you should be accepted with your right hand. Avoid taking or giving anything with the left hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid touching shrines or statues.\", \"描述\": \"A single temple can house hundreds of statues—do not attempt to touch any one of them; this will be seen as an inappropriate and disrespectful act. In Hindu faith, only priests are permitted to touch the statues. Keep a respectful distance.\\nAlso avoid photography. Taking pictures is restricted or forbidden in many temples. Before taking a photo, look for the temple’s rules. Rules may be written outside on noticeboards, or you may ask someone, including the priest.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Follow rules of common decency.\", \"描述\": \"The temple is a sacred, holy space, and you should exhibit polite, constrained behavior when visiting. You can speak quietly, but avoid loud conversation, laughter, or crying. Do not chew gum loudly—or at all—and throw any trash you have in a trash can. To show your respect for the temple, turn your phone off when you enter, and don’t smoke in or around the temple.\\nA priest may offer to place a small mark on your forehead (usually made from ash or turmeric). You may accept or decline as you feel comfortable; the mark carries no great spiritual significance and does not necessarily indicate a belief in the Hindu religion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Provide a donation, if desired.\", \"描述\": \"As you make your way through the temple, you may see a small donation box. If you feel like donating, fold the bills and put them with your right hand in the donation box. Remember that donations are never required and you do not have to donate.\\nEven if someone coaxes you to donate, you always have the right to refuse.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep an eye out for beggars.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on your location, you may find many beggars outside temples. You don’t have to give them cash if you don’t want to. If you want to help them temporarily, buy them some food.\\nIf you are alone, it would be a good idea to not encourage beggars. They can be persistent, and can keep following you or trouble you for more money.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,100 | How to Be Respectfully Righteous | 1. Steps
1-1. Put yourself into the perspective of another person.
Try to be kind to them as you would want to be treated if you were that person.
You probably wouldn't want to be gossiped about. Don't gossip about that person.
If you are feeling a bit sad, you may want to be cheered up. Try to cheer that person up but leave them alone if they want to be left alone. A good joke almost always works to make people laugh and forget about sadness.
1-2. Don't annoy people.
It is very courteous to make sure that you don't annoy someone. You probably thing it is very fun to annoy people, but nobody said being righteous will be easy, so try your hardest not to annoy people.
If you don't know how you are being annoying, kindly ask the person that is annoyed what it is that is annoying him/her. This will resolve that issue.
1-3. Have respect for other people.
Remember that they will have respect for you. This can be applied in conversation.
Don't cut people off when they are speaking. Don't you hate it when you get cut off by someone and then you forget what you were saying? It is very annoying , and when you follow this step, you are also following the step that says that you shouldn't be annoying.
Try not to get into an argument or fight. That usually leads to anger and hate which makes you and the other person/people sad and angry.
1-4. If someone ever does something to make you angry or upset, deliberately or not, tell them that they hurt you respectfully so that you won't hate them and they won't hate you for yelling at them if they did something accidentally.
You need to inform that person respectfully so that they won't get angry by the way you informed them. Maybe they did it accidentally? If you never inform them you would never know that they did it accidentally and they might not even know that they did something to hurt you.
1-5. Try to give money to local charities.
Remember that every penny counts. You could save someone's life by giving even a small amount of money.
1-6. Be happy to be a good person.
If you're not happy, are you truly a good person?
1-7. If you see someone needs help, use that opportunity to your advantage.
If you're in college and you see a fellow classmate carrying many books and is having trouble carrying them, offer to carry some of them.
1-8. Take time to appreciate the beauty of nature and wildlife.
Maybe you can have a day where you spend most of the day outdoors.
A great place to take your family would be a national park.
1-9. Don't speak badly to another person regardless of what they say to you.
It will lead to a fight and fights lead to anger and hate.
1-10. Try not to be jealous of anyone.
It will make you feel that you need something that someone else has.
Try to think of all the things that you have that the other person that you feel jealous of doesn't have. You will probably feel better.
Never brag or boast. That will make people feel jealous of you and then they will be sad that they don't have what you have.
1-11. Try to go green.
You will help the environment which will save water. In certain countries, there is a very small amount of water and they need help. Conserving water will save water all over the world meaning there will be more water accessible. Water is what feeds plants and animals. If plants don't get enough water, they will die and that destroys the Food Chain. Certain animals need to eat those plants but instead they'll die because of starvation. Then their predators will starve because they will starve.
1-12. Don't swear and try to limit arguments.
If it is a peaceful argument, it's okay. Be sure not to allow hatred to come in from it.
1-13. Never gossip, make fun of or bully someone else.
They will hate it especially in school in front of many people. In fact, over 7 percent of High School students attempted suicide as an effect of bullying, and over 14 percent have considered it. If you bully in school you may be the cause of someone's death.
Tips
A good national park to go to is Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, Montana and Idaho.
Hating someone is not nice even if that person did something to hurt you. That is why you need to talk with someone that hurt you and ask them to be sorry.
If you plan on going to a national park, bring pepper spray with you to temporarily blind animals trying to attack you.
Warnings
Bullying may lead to someone's death so never bully anyone.
If you go to a national park, beware of dangerous animals. Never approach a wild animal, it may run-or charge at you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Put yourself into the perspective of another person.\\nTry to be kind to them as you would want to be treated if you were that person.\\nYou probably wouldn't want to be gossiped about. Don't gossip about that person.\\nIf you are feeling a bit sad, you may want to be cheered up. Try to cheer that person up but leave them alone if they want to be left alone. A good joke almost always works to make people laugh and forget about sadness.\\n1-2. Don't annoy people.\\nIt is very courteous to make sure that you don't annoy someone. You probably thing it is very fun to annoy people, but nobody said being righteous will be easy, so try your hardest not to annoy people.\\nIf you don't know how you are being annoying, kindly ask the person that is annoyed what it is that is annoying him/her. This will resolve that issue.\\n1-3. Have respect for other people.\\nRemember that they will have respect for you. This can be applied in conversation.\\nDon't cut people off when they are speaking. Don't you hate it when you get cut off by someone and then you forget what you were saying? It is very annoying , and when you follow this step, you are also following the step that says that you shouldn't be annoying.\\nTry not to get into an argument or fight. That usually leads to anger and hate which makes you and the other person/people sad and angry.\\n1-4. If someone ever does something to make you angry or upset, deliberately or not, tell them that they hurt you respectfully so that you won't hate them and they won't hate you for yelling at them if they did something accidentally.\\nYou need to inform that person respectfully so that they won't get angry by the way you informed them. Maybe they did it accidentally? If you never inform them you would never know that they did it accidentally and they might not even know that they did something to hurt you.\\n1-5. Try to give money to local charities.\\nRemember that every penny counts. You could save someone's life by giving even a small amount of money.\\n1-6. Be happy to be a good person.\\nIf you're not happy, are you truly a good person?\\n1-7. If you see someone needs help, use that opportunity to your advantage.\\nIf you're in college and you see a fellow classmate carrying many books and is having trouble carrying them, offer to carry some of them.\\n1-8. Take time to appreciate the beauty of nature and wildlife.\\nMaybe you can have a day where you spend most of the day outdoors.\\nA great place to take your family would be a national park.\\n1-9. Don't speak badly to another person regardless of what they say to you.\\nIt will lead to a fight and fights lead to anger and hate.\\n1-10. Try not to be jealous of anyone.\\nIt will make you feel that you need something that someone else has.\\nTry to think of all the things that you have that the other person that you feel jealous of doesn't have. You will probably feel better.\\nNever brag or boast. That will make people feel jealous of you and then they will be sad that they don't have what you have.\\n1-11. Try to go green.\\nYou will help the environment which will save water. In certain countries, there is a very small amount of water and they need help. Conserving water will save water all over the world meaning there will be more water accessible. Water is what feeds plants and animals. If plants don't get enough water, they will die and that destroys the Food Chain. Certain animals need to eat those plants but instead they'll die because of starvation. Then their predators will starve because they will starve.\\n1-12. Don't swear and try to limit arguments.\\nIf it is a peaceful argument, it's okay. Be sure not to allow hatred to come in from it.\\n1-13. Never gossip, make fun of or bully someone else.\\nThey will hate it especially in school in front of many people. In fact, over 7 percent of High School students attempted suicide as an effect of bullying, and over 14 percent have considered it. If you bully in school you may be the cause of someone's death.\\nTips\\nA good national park to go to is Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, Montana and Idaho.\\nHating someone is not nice even if that person did something to hurt you. That is why you need to talk with someone that hurt you and ask them to be sorry.\\nIf you plan on going to a national park, bring pepper spray with you to temporarily blind animals trying to attack you.\\nWarnings\\nBullying may lead to someone's death so never bully anyone.\\nIf you go to a national park, beware of dangerous animals. Never approach a wild animal, it may run-or charge at you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"\\\"One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter\\\". - Unknown\\n\\nHave you ever had a bad day and were surprised by a little bit of kindness? Did it make you feel great that somebody actually cared? Being righteous has a dramatic effect on others and on your life and is an important theological concept in Zoroastrianism, Hinduism (dharma), Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. \\nRighteousness has long been debated around the world. There are evil people that think that they are being righteous. The saying \\\"One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter\\\" is very true. That is true because a terrorist may believe that he is being righteous, when another man sees the terrorist as an evil man. The one way to be sure that you are being righteous is by putting God first in your life before anything else, and listen to anything that your religion tells you to do. Understand that you shouldn't murder, rob, etc. But always remember that righteousness is \\\"in the eye of the beholder\\\".\\nThis article will help you do that in return and be a good person in other ways, too.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself into the perspective of another person.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be kind to them as you would want to be treated if you were that person.\\nYou probably wouldn't want to be gossiped about. Don't gossip about that person.\\nIf you are feeling a bit sad, you may want to be cheered up. Try to cheer that person up but leave them alone if they want to be left alone. A good joke almost always works to make people laugh and forget about sadness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't annoy people.\", \"描述\": \"It is very courteous to make sure that you don't annoy someone. You probably thing it is very fun to annoy people, but nobody said being righteous will be easy, so try your hardest not to annoy people.\\nIf you don't know how you are being annoying, kindly ask the person that is annoyed what it is that is annoying him/her. This will resolve that issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have respect for other people.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that they will have respect for you. This can be applied in conversation.\\nDon't cut people off when they are speaking. Don't you hate it when you get cut off by someone and then you forget what you were saying? It is very annoying , and when you follow this step, you are also following the step that says that you shouldn't be annoying.\\nTry not to get into an argument or fight. That usually leads to anger and hate which makes you and the other person/people sad and angry.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"If someone ever does something to make you angry or upset, deliberately or not, tell them that they hurt you respectfully so that you won't hate them and they won't hate you for yelling at them if they did something accidentally.\", \"描述\": \"You need to inform that person respectfully so that they won't get angry by the way you informed them. Maybe they did it accidentally? If you never inform them you would never know that they did it accidentally and they might not even know that they did something to hurt you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try to give money to local charities.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that every penny counts. You could save someone's life by giving even a small amount of money.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be happy to be a good person.\", \"描述\": \"If you're not happy, are you truly a good person?\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"If you see someone needs help, use that opportunity to your advantage.\", \"描述\": \"If you're in college and you see a fellow classmate carrying many books and is having trouble carrying them, offer to carry some of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take time to appreciate the beauty of nature and wildlife.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you can have a day where you spend most of the day outdoors.\\nA great place to take your family would be a national park.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Don't speak badly to another person regardless of what they say to you.\", \"描述\": \"It will lead to a fight and fights lead to anger and hate.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Try not to be jealous of anyone.\", \"描述\": \"It will make you feel that you need something that someone else has.\\nTry to think of all the things that you have that the other person that you feel jealous of doesn't have. You will probably feel better.\\nNever brag or boast. That will make people feel jealous of you and then they will be sad that they don't have what you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Try to go green.\", \"描述\": \"You will help the environment which will save water. In certain countries, there is a very small amount of water and they need help. Conserving water will save water all over the world meaning there will be more water accessible. Water is what feeds plants and animals. If plants don't get enough water, they will die and that destroys the Food Chain. Certain animals need to eat those plants but instead they'll die because of starvation. Then their predators will starve because they will starve.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Don't swear and try to limit arguments.\", \"描述\": \"If it is a peaceful argument, it's okay. Be sure not to allow hatred to come in from it.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Never gossip, make fun of or bully someone else.\", \"描述\": \"They will hate it especially in school in front of many people. In fact, over 7 percent of High School students attempted suicide as an effect of bullying, and over 14 percent have considered it. If you bully in school you may be the cause of someone's death.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"A good national park to go to is Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, Montana and Idaho.\\n\", \"Hating someone is not nice even if that person did something to hurt you. That is why you need to talk with someone that hurt you and ask them to be sorry.\\n\", \"If you plan on going to a national park, bring pepper spray with you to temporarily blind animals trying to attack you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Bullying may lead to someone's death so never bully anyone.\\n\", \"If you go to a national park, beware of dangerous animals. Never approach a wild animal, it may run-or charge at you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,101 | How to Be Responsible | 1. Taking Care of Yourself and Others
1-1. Clean up after yourself without being asked.
When you make a mess, clean it up; don't just leave it there for someone else to find. You made the mess, so you should be the one to clean it. Think about how another person would feel if they came into the mess or if someone had already cleaned it.
For instance, if you create a huge mess while making a sandwich, take the time to put the ingredients away, wipe up spilled crumbs, and wash any dishes you made or put them in the dishwasher.
1-2. Put things in their proper place so you don't have to do it later.
It's your job to keep up with the things you own, from your shoes to your keys. If you put them in the proper place when you're done using them, you won't have trouble finding them later. Not only does it help keep things organized, it shows that you value the things you own.
For instance, always put your keys on the hook or table when you come in the door, so you know where they are.
1-3. Do things without being asked.
Doing just the things you are asked to do is responsible. But to show that you can care for yourself and others, you need to do things before you're asked. That shows you are responsible enough to see what needs to be done and take care of it.
For instance, maybe you notice that no one's taken out the trash today. Don't just leave it for someone else to do. Take the initiative to do it yourself.
Alternatively, maybe no one has made plans for dinner. Get a plan together, and make dinner for everyone.
1-4. Place others' needs before your own.
When you have a family, friends, and/or pets, being responsible may mean placing their needs above your own. That doesn't mean you don't take care of yourself. But it does mean you may need to take care of yourself later if someone you love has a need right now.
For instance, maybe you really need to eat, but someone in your family gets a cut that needs tending to right now. Obviously, you should help them first before eating.
Sometimes, putting others' needs first starts by determining what are really our "needs" and what are our "wants." For instance, maybe you want to go out with your friends, but your parents need you to stay home to babysit. Going out with your friends may feel like a need, but it's more of a want.
1-5. Be consistent.
Your responsibility won't mean much if it's hit or miss. If you want to be responsible, then you have to find a routine that works for you and stick to it. For instance, don't just study for ten hours in a row and then give up on studying for 3 weeks; instead, spend 1 hour every day looking over the course material.
Staying consistent also means keeping your word and following through with commitments you make to yourself and others.
Being reliable shows people can depend on you to do what you say you're going to do.
2. Showing Maturity in Relationships
2-1. Hold yourself accountable for your actions.
That means that when you do something wrong, own up to it. You're going to make mistakes; everyone does. However, where you show you're responsible is when you can say you made a mistake.
Even if no one "catches" you doing wrong, tell the right person it was your mistake. For instance, if you accidentally break a friend's possession, don't try to hide it. Say, "I'm sorry, I accidentally broke your sunglasses. Can I replace them?"
You can't change anything you've done wrong in the past, so be compassionate with yourself. However, you have to take ownership of what happened—without blaming anyone else—in order to move forward.
2-2. Tell the truth to keep your relationships authentic.
White lies, like telling someone you like their new scarf when you don't, generally aren't an issue. However, when you let big lies enter relationships, such as lying about what you do with your time, can have bigger consequences. Try to be as honest as you can, as honesty shows you are responsible enough to tell the truth.
Plus, when you lie, you need to keep your lies straight, which can become difficult.
2-3. Keep in touch with loved ones and friends.
Don’t let your relationships fade away. Organize gatherings or host events to show your responsibility and to show you are actively trying to spend time with them.
Offer to help others when they need you. You never know when you may also need to ask for a favor.
Make time to meet in-person. You'll need to be responsible enough to organize your time well and make plans in advance to see people you know.
When you're with other people, put your phone down. Put the people in front of you before social media.
2-4. Find solutions for issues instead of casting blame.
Problems come up in any relationship. Instead of blaming the other person, try to find a way to solve them. A responsible person looks for solutions instead of trying to decide whose fault it is.
For instance, maybe you and a family member keep miscommunicating when texting. It's caused several fights.
Instead of blaming the other person, sit down together, and try to figure out how you can do better. Maybe you can agree to be more specific in your texts or to ask for clarification when you feel you don't have enough information.
Similarly, don't attack someone instead of dealing with the issue. Personal attacks won't get you anywhere.
2-5. Think before you speak to show you care.
People who are not responsible with their words will shout out the first thing that comes into their heads, including calling another person names. Instead, take time to think your words through. Don't let your anger get the better of you.
If you find yourself too angry to control what you're saying, try counting to 10 in your head as you take deep, calming breaths. You can even tell the other person, "I need a moment to calm down before our conversation continues. I don't want to say something I don't mean."
2-6. Learn to think about other people's thoughts and feelings.
Empathy is feeling what other people feel. When you say something or do something, think about how it will make the other person feel. If you're not sure, consider how it would make you feel. If it would make you feel bad, reconsider what you were thinking about doing or saying.
You are not responsible for what other people feel. However, you are responsible for what you say to them and how you act around them. A responsible person has the empathy to think about what other people are feeling in a given situation.
3. Planning Your Time
3-1. Make a schedule
Whether you have a daily planner or use a phone app, a schedule helps you stay on top of your responsibilities. It reminds you what you need to be doing. Plus, it shows you where you're spending your time. Write out appointments you have, places you go every day, and the chores you need to get done each day.
Your morning sets the foundation for your whole day. Schedule plenty of time to wake up and get going in the mornings—don't just set your alarm for 5 minutes before you have to get up.
Set an intention for each day—sometimes just naming what you want can help make it happen. Think about what you want to achieve, for instance, or who you want to meet.
3-2. Take care of your tasks before having fun.
One aspect of being responsible is not putting off your tasks until after you've had fun. Start by doing what you need to get done first, and then you can relax and have fun afterward.
For instance, if you need to do the dishes but you want to go outside, do the dishes first. Then you can be outside without the responsibility hanging over your head.
3-3. Check how much time you spend on social media.
Social media can drain a lot of your time without you even realizing it. You may think you don't have enough time to get your chores done, but you likely do if you put down your phone, tablet, or computer.
Try using an app that limits the time you spend on your phone or computer. It can help teach you responsibility with your time.
3-4. Save time to give back to your community, too.
While taking care of your personal life is very important, so is taking care of your community. You're a member of your larger community, and you should take part in making it a better place to live. Set aside time each month just for volunteering.
Volunteering doesn't have to be boring! No matter what you love, from nature to books, you can find a way to engage in that interest while volunteering. For instance, you could work to clean up a local park or help shelve books at your local library.
3-5. Keep your long-term commitments.
When something is fun and new, it's easy to be committed to it. However, it becomes a little more difficult when the novelty wears off. Whether it's being in a club, taking a leadership role in a community organization, or volunteering, you have to be in it for the long-term.
When you commit to doing something, stick with it. That doesn't mean you have to do it forever. However, if you, say, take on a leadership role for a year, stick with it for that year at least, unless you absolutely can't for some reason.
3-6. Learn to set goals for yourself.
Pick a few goals that you want to achieve. They could be long-term goals, like becoming a doctor or becoming a better friend. Alternatively, they could be short-term, like making your bed every day or running a 5K within a month. Whatever they are, write them down, and come up with a plan for how exactly you will tackle them.
Once you set goals, figure out concrete steps you can take each day to reach those goals. For instance, if you want to run a 5K, make a plan for how much you'll need to walk or run each day to work up to running a 5K in a month.
4. Taking Control of Your Money
4-1. Set money goals for yourself.
Whether you're still in high school or you're an adult, you should have goals for your money. That way, you have something to work towards and a reason to put money away regularly. Plus, you won't need to constantly ask people around you for help with money.
For instance, maybe you want to save up for a car. Decide how much you want to spend on a car by researching ones in your area. Then, start putting away money every time you get some to help build your car fund.
4-2. Find a way to earn cash for yourself.
Even if you're still at home, you can find ways to earn money. Do odd jobs for neighbors, or ask your parents if they have any chores they'll pay you for.
You can even get a part-time job outside your house. Babysitting or being a lifeguard are often good part-time jobs when you're younger.
4-3. Make a budget.
A budget is just a document showing what money you have coming in and where you want it to go. Try a monthly budget, where you document how much cash you receive each month. Then, add amounts for things you need to spend money on, such as food, as well as money you need to save for emergencies and future wants. Subtract these amounts from the money you have coming in each month to determine what you can spend on other fun things.
You can use something as simple as a piece of paper and pen to create a budget, but you can also use a spreadsheet or a budgeting app to help you figure it out.
4-4. Avoid being constantly in debt.
Don't put more on your credit card than you can pay off each month, unless you have an emergency. Try not to borrow from friends and family. Instead, have money saved up so you can be ready for any emergency that comes along.
Debt means you are paying extra for the things you bought. Alternatively, it means you owe money to a friend or family member. Neither is a responsible way to spend money, though emergencies do happen.
Tips
Building responsible habits can take some practice, but with time it will become second nature.[21]
X
Expert Source
Sandra PossingLife Coach
Expert Interview. 13 August 2020.
Be responsible in school by doing your homework and studying for tests and quizzes.
Make a schedule, clean up after yourself, do your homework, and get good grades.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Care of Yourself and Others\\n1-1. Clean up after yourself without being asked.\\nWhen you make a mess, clean it up; don't just leave it there for someone else to find. You made the mess, so you should be the one to clean it. Think about how another person would feel if they came into the mess or if someone had already cleaned it.\\nFor instance, if you create a huge mess while making a sandwich, take the time to put the ingredients away, wipe up spilled crumbs, and wash any dishes you made or put them in the dishwasher.\\n1-2. Put things in their proper place so you don't have to do it later.\\nIt's your job to keep up with the things you own, from your shoes to your keys. If you put them in the proper place when you're done using them, you won't have trouble finding them later. Not only does it help keep things organized, it shows that you value the things you own.\\nFor instance, always put your keys on the hook or table when you come in the door, so you know where they are.\\n1-3. Do things without being asked.\\nDoing just the things you are asked to do is responsible. But to show that you can care for yourself and others, you need to do things before you're asked. That shows you are responsible enough to see what needs to be done and take care of it.\\nFor instance, maybe you notice that no one's taken out the trash today. Don't just leave it for someone else to do. Take the initiative to do it yourself.\\nAlternatively, maybe no one has made plans for dinner. Get a plan together, and make dinner for everyone.\\n1-4. Place others' needs before your own.\\nWhen you have a family, friends, and/or pets, being responsible may mean placing their needs above your own. That doesn't mean you don't take care of yourself. But it does mean you may need to take care of yourself later if someone you love has a need right now.\\nFor instance, maybe you really need to eat, but someone in your family gets a cut that needs tending to right now. Obviously, you should help them first before eating.\\nSometimes, putting others' needs first starts by determining what are really our \\\"needs\\\" and what are our \\\"wants.\\\" For instance, maybe you want to go out with your friends, but your parents need you to stay home to babysit. Going out with your friends may feel like a need, but it's more of a want.\\n1-5. Be consistent.\\nYour responsibility won't mean much if it's hit or miss. If you want to be responsible, then you have to find a routine that works for you and stick to it. For instance, don't just study for ten hours in a row and then give up on studying for 3 weeks; instead, spend 1 hour every day looking over the course material.\\nStaying consistent also means keeping your word and following through with commitments you make to yourself and others.\\nBeing reliable shows people can depend on you to do what you say you're going to do.\\n2. Showing Maturity in Relationships\\n2-1. Hold yourself accountable for your actions.\\nThat means that when you do something wrong, own up to it. You're going to make mistakes; everyone does. However, where you show you're responsible is when you can say you made a mistake.\\nEven if no one \\\"catches\\\" you doing wrong, tell the right person it was your mistake. For instance, if you accidentally break a friend's possession, don't try to hide it. Say, \\\"I'm sorry, I accidentally broke your sunglasses. Can I replace them?\\\"\\nYou can't change anything you've done wrong in the past, so be compassionate with yourself. However, you have to take ownership of what happened—without blaming anyone else—in order to move forward.\\n2-2. Tell the truth to keep your relationships authentic.\\nWhite lies, like telling someone you like their new scarf when you don't, generally aren't an issue. However, when you let big lies enter relationships, such as lying about what you do with your time, can have bigger consequences. Try to be as honest as you can, as honesty shows you are responsible enough to tell the truth.\\nPlus, when you lie, you need to keep your lies straight, which can become difficult.\\n2-3. Keep in touch with loved ones and friends.\\nDon’t let your relationships fade away. Organize gatherings or host events to show your responsibility and to show you are actively trying to spend time with them.\\nOffer to help others when they need you. You never know when you may also need to ask for a favor.\\nMake time to meet in-person. You'll need to be responsible enough to organize your time well and make plans in advance to see people you know.\\nWhen you're with other people, put your phone down. Put the people in front of you before social media.\\n2-4. Find solutions for issues instead of casting blame.\\nProblems come up in any relationship. Instead of blaming the other person, try to find a way to solve them. A responsible person looks for solutions instead of trying to decide whose fault it is.\\nFor instance, maybe you and a family member keep miscommunicating when texting. It's caused several fights.\\nInstead of blaming the other person, sit down together, and try to figure out how you can do better. Maybe you can agree to be more specific in your texts or to ask for clarification when you feel you don't have enough information.\\nSimilarly, don't attack someone instead of dealing with the issue. Personal attacks won't get you anywhere.\\n2-5. Think before you speak to show you care.\\nPeople who are not responsible with their words will shout out the first thing that comes into their heads, including calling another person names. Instead, take time to think your words through. Don't let your anger get the better of you.\\nIf you find yourself too angry to control what you're saying, try counting to 10 in your head as you take deep, calming breaths. You can even tell the other person, \\\"I need a moment to calm down before our conversation continues. I don't want to say something I don't mean.\\\"\\n2-6. Learn to think about other people's thoughts and feelings.\\nEmpathy is feeling what other people feel. When you say something or do something, think about how it will make the other person feel. If you're not sure, consider how it would make you feel. If it would make you feel bad, reconsider what you were thinking about doing or saying.\\nYou are not responsible for what other people feel. However, you are responsible for what you say to them and how you act around them. A responsible person has the empathy to think about what other people are feeling in a given situation.\\n3. Planning Your Time\\n3-1. Make a schedule\\nWhether you have a daily planner or use a phone app, a schedule helps you stay on top of your responsibilities. It reminds you what you need to be doing. Plus, it shows you where you're spending your time. Write out appointments you have, places you go every day, and the chores you need to get done each day.\\nYour morning sets the foundation for your whole day. Schedule plenty of time to wake up and get going in the mornings—don't just set your alarm for 5 minutes before you have to get up.\\nSet an intention for each day—sometimes just naming what you want can help make it happen. Think about what you want to achieve, for instance, or who you want to meet.\\n3-2. Take care of your tasks before having fun.\\nOne aspect of being responsible is not putting off your tasks until after you've had fun. Start by doing what you need to get done first, and then you can relax and have fun afterward.\\nFor instance, if you need to do the dishes but you want to go outside, do the dishes first. Then you can be outside without the responsibility hanging over your head.\\n3-3. Check how much time you spend on social media.\\nSocial media can drain a lot of your time without you even realizing it. You may think you don't have enough time to get your chores done, but you likely do if you put down your phone, tablet, or computer.\\nTry using an app that limits the time you spend on your phone or computer. It can help teach you responsibility with your time.\\n3-4. Save time to give back to your community, too.\\nWhile taking care of your personal life is very important, so is taking care of your community. You're a member of your larger community, and you should take part in making it a better place to live. Set aside time each month just for volunteering.\\nVolunteering doesn't have to be boring! No matter what you love, from nature to books, you can find a way to engage in that interest while volunteering. For instance, you could work to clean up a local park or help shelve books at your local library.\\n3-5. Keep your long-term commitments.\\nWhen something is fun and new, it's easy to be committed to it. However, it becomes a little more difficult when the novelty wears off. Whether it's being in a club, taking a leadership role in a community organization, or volunteering, you have to be in it for the long-term.\\nWhen you commit to doing something, stick with it. That doesn't mean you have to do it forever. However, if you, say, take on a leadership role for a year, stick with it for that year at least, unless you absolutely can't for some reason.\\n3-6. Learn to set goals for yourself.\\nPick a few goals that you want to achieve. They could be long-term goals, like becoming a doctor or becoming a better friend. Alternatively, they could be short-term, like making your bed every day or running a 5K within a month. Whatever they are, write them down, and come up with a plan for how exactly you will tackle them.\\nOnce you set goals, figure out concrete steps you can take each day to reach those goals. For instance, if you want to run a 5K, make a plan for how much you'll need to walk or run each day to work up to running a 5K in a month.\\n4. Taking Control of Your Money\\n4-1. Set money goals for yourself.\\nWhether you're still in high school or you're an adult, you should have goals for your money. That way, you have something to work towards and a reason to put money away regularly. Plus, you won't need to constantly ask people around you for help with money.\\nFor instance, maybe you want to save up for a car. Decide how much you want to spend on a car by researching ones in your area. Then, start putting away money every time you get some to help build your car fund.\\n4-2. Find a way to earn cash for yourself.\\nEven if you're still at home, you can find ways to earn money. Do odd jobs for neighbors, or ask your parents if they have any chores they'll pay you for.\\nYou can even get a part-time job outside your house. Babysitting or being a lifeguard are often good part-time jobs when you're younger.\\n4-3. Make a budget.\\nA budget is just a document showing what money you have coming in and where you want it to go. Try a monthly budget, where you document how much cash you receive each month. Then, add amounts for things you need to spend money on, such as food, as well as money you need to save for emergencies and future wants. Subtract these amounts from the money you have coming in each month to determine what you can spend on other fun things.\\nYou can use something as simple as a piece of paper and pen to create a budget, but you can also use a spreadsheet or a budgeting app to help you figure it out.\\n4-4. Avoid being constantly in debt.\\nDon't put more on your credit card than you can pay off each month, unless you have an emergency. Try not to borrow from friends and family. Instead, have money saved up so you can be ready for any emergency that comes along.\\nDebt means you are paying extra for the things you bought. Alternatively, it means you owe money to a friend or family member. Neither is a responsible way to spend money, though emergencies do happen.\\nTips\\nBuilding responsible habits can take some practice, but with time it will become second nature.[21]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSandra PossingLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 13 August 2020.\\nBe responsible in school by doing your homework and studying for tests and quizzes.\\nMake a schedule, clean up after yourself, do your homework, and get good grades.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Wanting to be more responsible is admirable. Being responsible can seem hard at first, but if you keep at it, it will become second nature to you! To be responsible, you should keep your promises and honor commitments that you’ve made. You need to organize your time and money as well as take care of yourself and others, including both physical and emotional needs.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Yourself and Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Clean up after yourself without being asked.\", \"描述\": \"When you make a mess, clean it up; don't just leave it there for someone else to find. You made the mess, so you should be the one to clean it. Think about how another person would feel if they came into the mess or if someone had already cleaned it.\\nFor instance, if you create a huge mess while making a sandwich, take the time to put the ingredients away, wipe up spilled crumbs, and wash any dishes you made or put them in the dishwasher.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Put things in their proper place so you don't have to do it later.\", \"描述\": \"It's your job to keep up with the things you own, from your shoes to your keys. If you put them in the proper place when you're done using them, you won't have trouble finding them later. Not only does it help keep things organized, it shows that you value the things you own.\\nFor instance, always put your keys on the hook or table when you come in the door, so you know where they are.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do things without being asked.\", \"描述\": \"Doing just the things you are asked to do is responsible. But to show that you can care for yourself and others, you need to do things before you're asked. That shows you are responsible enough to see what needs to be done and take care of it.\\nFor instance, maybe you notice that no one's taken out the trash today. Don't just leave it for someone else to do. Take the initiative to do it yourself.\\nAlternatively, maybe no one has made plans for dinner. Get a plan together, and make dinner for everyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Place others' needs before your own.\", \"描述\": \"When you have a family, friends, and/or pets, being responsible may mean placing their needs above your own. That doesn't mean you don't take care of yourself. But it does mean you may need to take care of yourself later if someone you love has a need right now.\\nFor instance, maybe you really need to eat, but someone in your family gets a cut that needs tending to right now. Obviously, you should help them first before eating.\\nSometimes, putting others' needs first starts by determining what are really our \\\"needs\\\" and what are our \\\"wants.\\\" For instance, maybe you want to go out with your friends, but your parents need you to stay home to babysit. Going out with your friends may feel like a need, but it's more of a want.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be consistent.\", \"描述\": \"Your responsibility won't mean much if it's hit or miss. If you want to be responsible, then you have to find a routine that works for you and stick to it. For instance, don't just study for ten hours in a row and then give up on studying for 3 weeks; instead, spend 1 hour every day looking over the course material.\\nStaying consistent also means keeping your word and following through with commitments you make to yourself and others.\\nBeing reliable shows people can depend on you to do what you say you're going to do.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing Maturity in Relationships\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hold yourself accountable for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"That means that when you do something wrong, own up to it. You're going to make mistakes; everyone does. However, where you show you're responsible is when you can say you made a mistake.\\nEven if no one \\\"catches\\\" you doing wrong, tell the right person it was your mistake. For instance, if you accidentally break a friend's possession, don't try to hide it. Say, \\\"I'm sorry, I accidentally broke your sunglasses. Can I replace them?\\\"\\nYou can't change anything you've done wrong in the past, so be compassionate with yourself. However, you have to take ownership of what happened—without blaming anyone else—in order to move forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth to keep your relationships authentic.\", \"描述\": \"White lies, like telling someone you like their new scarf when you don't, generally aren't an issue. However, when you let big lies enter relationships, such as lying about what you do with your time, can have bigger consequences. Try to be as honest as you can, as honesty shows you are responsible enough to tell the truth.\\nPlus, when you lie, you need to keep your lies straight, which can become difficult.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep in touch with loved ones and friends.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t let your relationships fade away. Organize gatherings or host events to show your responsibility and to show you are actively trying to spend time with them.\\nOffer to help others when they need you. You never know when you may also need to ask for a favor.\\nMake time to meet in-person. You'll need to be responsible enough to organize your time well and make plans in advance to see people you know.\\nWhen you're with other people, put your phone down. Put the people in front of you before social media.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find solutions for issues instead of casting blame.\", \"描述\": \"Problems come up in any relationship. Instead of blaming the other person, try to find a way to solve them. A responsible person looks for solutions instead of trying to decide whose fault it is.\\nFor instance, maybe you and a family member keep miscommunicating when texting. It's caused several fights.\\nInstead of blaming the other person, sit down together, and try to figure out how you can do better. Maybe you can agree to be more specific in your texts or to ask for clarification when you feel you don't have enough information.\\nSimilarly, don't attack someone instead of dealing with the issue. Personal attacks won't get you anywhere.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think before you speak to show you care.\", \"描述\": \"People who are not responsible with their words will shout out the first thing that comes into their heads, including calling another person names. Instead, take time to think your words through. Don't let your anger get the better of you.\\nIf you find yourself too angry to control what you're saying, try counting to 10 in your head as you take deep, calming breaths. You can even tell the other person, \\\"I need a moment to calm down before our conversation continues. I don't want to say something I don't mean.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to think about other people's thoughts and feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Empathy is feeling what other people feel. When you say something or do something, think about how it will make the other person feel. If you're not sure, consider how it would make you feel. If it would make you feel bad, reconsider what you were thinking about doing or saying.\\nYou are not responsible for what other people feel. However, you are responsible for what you say to them and how you act around them. A responsible person has the empathy to think about what other people are feeling in a given situation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Planning Your Time\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a schedule\", \"描述\": \"Whether you have a daily planner or use a phone app, a schedule helps you stay on top of your responsibilities. It reminds you what you need to be doing. Plus, it shows you where you're spending your time. Write out appointments you have, places you go every day, and the chores you need to get done each day.\\nYour morning sets the foundation for your whole day. Schedule plenty of time to wake up and get going in the mornings—don't just set your alarm for 5 minutes before you have to get up.\\nSet an intention for each day—sometimes just naming what you want can help make it happen. Think about what you want to achieve, for instance, or who you want to meet.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take care of your tasks before having fun.\", \"描述\": \"One aspect of being responsible is not putting off your tasks until after you've had fun. Start by doing what you need to get done first, and then you can relax and have fun afterward.\\nFor instance, if you need to do the dishes but you want to go outside, do the dishes first. Then you can be outside without the responsibility hanging over your head.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check how much time you spend on social media.\", \"描述\": \"Social media can drain a lot of your time without you even realizing it. You may think you don't have enough time to get your chores done, but you likely do if you put down your phone, tablet, or computer.\\nTry using an app that limits the time you spend on your phone or computer. It can help teach you responsibility with your time.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Save time to give back to your community, too.\", \"描述\": \"While taking care of your personal life is very important, so is taking care of your community. You're a member of your larger community, and you should take part in making it a better place to live. Set aside time each month just for volunteering.\\nVolunteering doesn't have to be boring! No matter what you love, from nature to books, you can find a way to engage in that interest while volunteering. For instance, you could work to clean up a local park or help shelve books at your local library.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your long-term commitments.\", \"描述\": \"When something is fun and new, it's easy to be committed to it. However, it becomes a little more difficult when the novelty wears off. Whether it's being in a club, taking a leadership role in a community organization, or volunteering, you have to be in it for the long-term.\\nWhen you commit to doing something, stick with it. That doesn't mean you have to do it forever. However, if you, say, take on a leadership role for a year, stick with it for that year at least, unless you absolutely can't for some reason.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn to set goals for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a few goals that you want to achieve. They could be long-term goals, like becoming a doctor or becoming a better friend. Alternatively, they could be short-term, like making your bed every day or running a 5K within a month. Whatever they are, write them down, and come up with a plan for how exactly you will tackle them.\\nOnce you set goals, figure out concrete steps you can take each day to reach those goals. For instance, if you want to run a 5K, make a plan for how much you'll need to walk or run each day to work up to running a 5K in a month.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Taking Control of Your Money\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set money goals for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're still in high school or you're an adult, you should have goals for your money. That way, you have something to work towards and a reason to put money away regularly. Plus, you won't need to constantly ask people around you for help with money.\\nFor instance, maybe you want to save up for a car. Decide how much you want to spend on a car by researching ones in your area. Then, start putting away money every time you get some to help build your car fund.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a way to earn cash for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're still at home, you can find ways to earn money. Do odd jobs for neighbors, or ask your parents if they have any chores they'll pay you for.\\nYou can even get a part-time job outside your house. Babysitting or being a lifeguard are often good part-time jobs when you're younger.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a budget.\", \"描述\": \"A budget is just a document showing what money you have coming in and where you want it to go. Try a monthly budget, where you document how much cash you receive each month. Then, add amounts for things you need to spend money on, such as food, as well as money you need to save for emergencies and future wants. Subtract these amounts from the money you have coming in each month to determine what you can spend on other fun things.\\nYou can use something as simple as a piece of paper and pen to create a budget, but you can also use a spreadsheet or a budgeting app to help you figure it out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid being constantly in debt.\", \"描述\": \"Don't put more on your credit card than you can pay off each month, unless you have an emergency. Try not to borrow from friends and family. Instead, have money saved up so you can be ready for any emergency that comes along.\\nDebt means you are paying extra for the things you bought. Alternatively, it means you owe money to a friend or family member. Neither is a responsible way to spend money, though emergencies do happen.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Building responsible habits can take some practice, but with time it will become second nature.[21]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nSandra PossingLife Coach\\nExpert Interview. 13 August 2020.\\n\", \"Be responsible in school by doing your homework and studying for tests and quizzes.\\n\", \"Make a schedule, clean up after yourself, do your homework, and get good grades.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,102 | How to Be Rich and Happy | 1. Gaining Wealth in Meaningful Ways
1-1. Determine what your goals are.
Each person has their own concept of what it means to be “rich.” For some it is attaining a certain level of personal worth, or having the financial freedom to acquire and enjoy the finer things in life. For others, being rich means attaining financial security--owning a home, having no debt, and having disposable income, for instance. Keeping in mind that money only increases happiness to a certain point, ask yourself what your definition of “rich” is:
What income level do you think it would take to achieve your goals or dreams?
Do you want to build wealth through working, investments, or some other means?
What kinds of things and experiences would you hope to gain from being rich? A huge home? A yacht? The ability to travel the world?
What less tangible things would make you feel rich? Supporting a family? Becoming a leader in your career? Being able to make significant donations to charities?
1-2. Find work that matters to you.
If you are working to build wealth, then the job you choose to pursue will be an important decision to make. Top-earning positions in business, technology, and other high-demand areas can be your ticket to success, but also very hard to come by. If you have slightly more modest goals, you can start building wealth as long as you have at least some money left over after your bills are paid. But to be both rich and happy, you will need to find your job meaningful.
People are often told that “doing what you love” is the key to success. You can’t always turn your passions into a way to make money, however. Concentrate on finding a job that allows you to earn the level of income you want, and that you value--even if it’s not your dream.
For example, painting landscapes might be what you really love to do, but hard to turn into a career that will lead to wealth. However, you might be able to pursue a well-paying job managing a museum or arts foundation, and paint in your spare time. While you might not become super-rich this way, you can attain financial security and still find work in an area you value.
On the other hand, don’t make the mistake of seeking a job you hate, just because it leads to lots of money. That’s a sure way to become burned out and unhappy.
1-3. Make smart decisions with your money.
In most cases, to become rich, you’ll have to do more than just earn money: you’ll have to put your money to work, too. Look for ways to invest, seek out business ventures, and keep your eye on other opportunities to grow your nest egg. In the meantime, live below your means--avoid spending extravagantly, even if you feel like you have plenty to spare. Try doing things like:
Buying an economical car instead of a Rolls Royce
Downsizing your home to reduce your mortgage or rent payment
Regularly setting aside a specific portion of your income for saving and investments
Putting some money toward investments that are higher-risk but have the potential for higher returns, such as stocks, rather than just toward relatively safe but low-earning investments, like savings accounts.
Talking to a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or other trusted advisor to plan your investments and wealth growth.
Living frugally, which can increase your happiness. Studies show that less clutter, fewer things, and fewer expenses can reduce stress, so keep it simple even if you are rich.
2. Finding Fulfillment When Wealthy
2-1. Avoid envying others.
Having money, even lots of it, won’t necessarily stop you from wishing you had something that someone else has. Feeling envious and trying to keep up with the Joneses won’t make you happy--quite the opposite. It’s much more important to find satisfaction with what you have, where you are in life.
Keep your eye on the intangible, non-material things you identified when defining “rich” for yourself. Things like valuing your work, the people around you, your health, etc. matter much more for happiness, in the end, than the stuff that you have or don’t have.
2-2. Spend time with people you love.
Whether they are rich or not, everyone wants to be valued accepted by others to some extent. Close relationships with other people build your sense of security, intimacy, and fulfillment in life--all things that contribute to your sense of happiness. When you are rich, don’t neglect the people around you.
Make sure to spend quality time with your family and friends. Do whatever you enjoy--go on a vacation with them, meet them for dinner, play games together, or just talk.
Spending quality time with people you love also shows them that you value them above all things, even money. This will increase their happiness as well.
2-3. Spend money on experiences instead of things.
Accumulating material things might seem like one of the benefits to being rich. To some extent, it’s satisfying to get the things you want, but this satisfaction is usually fleeting. Studies show that spending money on experiences (like vacations, a surprise party for your partner, skydiving, etc.) contribute far more to long-term happiness than material things (like a Ferrari or diamond earrings) do.
Spending money to free up more of your time can also increase your happiness. So, if you can afford it, pay someone to clean your house, mow your lawn, or other low-priority tasks, rather than doing it yourself, giving you more time to concentrate on what you love.
2-4. Donate to worthwhile causes.
Though rich people have more money than others, research shows that they tend to be relatively less generous than people with less money. The ultra-rich donate a smaller percentage of their wealth than those with more average incomes. At the same time, research shows that contributing to causes you value increases your sense of happiness. So when you are rich, give generously and reap the rewards of happiness!
Find a charity or organization involved in something you value, whether it’s housing the homeless or giving seed money to startups, and donate.
2-5. Volunteer your time and expertise.
Giving doesn’t have to be monetary. If you can find ways to devote time to helping others, or to share your knowledge and experience, this can also increase your happiness. And if you are rich, it will can be easier to have the freedom to make this happen. Think about doing things like:
Tutoring at-risk children
Giving motivational talks to young entrepreneurs about how you became successful
Getting involved in your community, through local politics, charities, etc.
3. Finding Contentment At Any Income Level
3-1. Determine your values.
Knowing what is important to you, aside from money, is key to feeling fulfilled and happy. Reflect on where you come from, where you are, and where you want to go in life. Brainstorm a list of the things that are most important to you, and then consider ranking or grouping them. Values might include things like:
A strong sense of family
Charity (giving to others)
Independence (the feeling that you are able to do what you want to)
Pride in your work or other accomplishments
3-2. Recognize that money only makes a limited contribution to happiness.
Research shows that having enough money to cover your expenses and leave some leftover to enjoy life does boost feelings of happiness. Not having enough money to cover your needs can increase stress. After a certain point, however, more money doesn’t mean more happiness. Keep this in mind when determining what it will take for you to feel rich.
Remember that rich people encounter their own problems that aren’t a factor in the lives of others. For instance, they may worry that their children will be labeled “trust fund babies,” or that their friends will only like them because they have money.
3-3. Express gratitude.
Practicing thankfulness means taking the time to reflect on the good things you have, no matter how wealthy you are. It’s especially important to recognize the things you have or that are good in your life, independent of money. You can try keeping a “gratitude journal” where you write down things you are thankful for every day or week. You can also tell others that you are thankful for them. For example:
You might include an entry in your gratitude journal that describes how you are thankful that someone held the door for you when your hands were full, or how you are thankful for your good health.
You could tell your sister “Jane, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am that you always have a positive attitude. You always lift my spirits!”
3-4. Reduce or eliminate debt.
Even if you aren’t rich, you can take some steps to feel more financially secure. The more you can lower your debt, the better you will feel about your financial situation, no matter your income or wealth. Having fewer financial obligations means that you can free up more income to save, invest, or spend on meaningful experiences.
Pay down your credit cards, if you have any
Work to pay off any loans you may have, such as a mortgage or student loans
Avoid taking on more debt for things you don’t really need. For example, if your current car works fine, don’t take out a loan to buy a new one.
3-5. Live in a place with a high standard of living.
You are more likely to feel happy living in a location that has well-functioning infrastructures, a stable government, an open society, and amenities that you value. While moving isn't always the easiest thing to do, you might consider relocating to increase your happiness, if you don’t like where you are now.
The right location for you depends on your values--some people want the excitement and amenities of a metropolitan area, while others long for the openness, quiet, and solitude of rural areas.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gaining Wealth in Meaningful Ways\\n1-1. Determine what your goals are.\\nEach person has their own concept of what it means to be “rich.” For some it is attaining a certain level of personal worth, or having the financial freedom to acquire and enjoy the finer things in life. For others, being rich means attaining financial security--owning a home, having no debt, and having disposable income, for instance. Keeping in mind that money only increases happiness to a certain point, ask yourself what your definition of “rich” is:\\nWhat income level do you think it would take to achieve your goals or dreams?\\nDo you want to build wealth through working, investments, or some other means?\\nWhat kinds of things and experiences would you hope to gain from being rich? A huge home? A yacht? The ability to travel the world?\\nWhat less tangible things would make you feel rich? Supporting a family? Becoming a leader in your career? Being able to make significant donations to charities?\\n1-2. Find work that matters to you.\\nIf you are working to build wealth, then the job you choose to pursue will be an important decision to make. Top-earning positions in business, technology, and other high-demand areas can be your ticket to success, but also very hard to come by. If you have slightly more modest goals, you can start building wealth as long as you have at least some money left over after your bills are paid. But to be both rich and happy, you will need to find your job meaningful. \\nPeople are often told that “doing what you love” is the key to success. You can’t always turn your passions into a way to make money, however. Concentrate on finding a job that allows you to earn the level of income you want, and that you value--even if it’s not your dream.\\nFor example, painting landscapes might be what you really love to do, but hard to turn into a career that will lead to wealth. However, you might be able to pursue a well-paying job managing a museum or arts foundation, and paint in your spare time. While you might not become super-rich this way, you can attain financial security and still find work in an area you value.\\nOn the other hand, don’t make the mistake of seeking a job you hate, just because it leads to lots of money. That’s a sure way to become burned out and unhappy.\\n1-3. Make smart decisions with your money.\\nIn most cases, to become rich, you’ll have to do more than just earn money: you’ll have to put your money to work, too. Look for ways to invest, seek out business ventures, and keep your eye on other opportunities to grow your nest egg. In the meantime, live below your means--avoid spending extravagantly, even if you feel like you have plenty to spare. Try doing things like:\\nBuying an economical car instead of a Rolls Royce\\nDownsizing your home to reduce your mortgage or rent payment\\nRegularly setting aside a specific portion of your income for saving and investments\\nPutting some money toward investments that are higher-risk but have the potential for higher returns, such as stocks, rather than just toward relatively safe but low-earning investments, like savings accounts.\\nTalking to a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or other trusted advisor to plan your investments and wealth growth.\\nLiving frugally, which can increase your happiness. Studies show that less clutter, fewer things, and fewer expenses can reduce stress, so keep it simple even if you are rich.\\n2. Finding Fulfillment When Wealthy\\n2-1. Avoid envying others.\\nHaving money, even lots of it, won’t necessarily stop you from wishing you had something that someone else has. Feeling envious and trying to keep up with the Joneses won’t make you happy--quite the opposite. It’s much more important to find satisfaction with what you have, where you are in life.\\nKeep your eye on the intangible, non-material things you identified when defining “rich” for yourself. Things like valuing your work, the people around you, your health, etc. matter much more for happiness, in the end, than the stuff that you have or don’t have.\\n2-2. Spend time with people you love.\\nWhether they are rich or not, everyone wants to be valued accepted by others to some extent. Close relationships with other people build your sense of security, intimacy, and fulfillment in life--all things that contribute to your sense of happiness. When you are rich, don’t neglect the people around you.\\nMake sure to spend quality time with your family and friends. Do whatever you enjoy--go on a vacation with them, meet them for dinner, play games together, or just talk.\\nSpending quality time with people you love also shows them that you value them above all things, even money. This will increase their happiness as well.\\n2-3. Spend money on experiences instead of things.\\nAccumulating material things might seem like one of the benefits to being rich. To some extent, it’s satisfying to get the things you want, but this satisfaction is usually fleeting. Studies show that spending money on experiences (like vacations, a surprise party for your partner, skydiving, etc.) contribute far more to long-term happiness than material things (like a Ferrari or diamond earrings) do.\\nSpending money to free up more of your time can also increase your happiness. So, if you can afford it, pay someone to clean your house, mow your lawn, or other low-priority tasks, rather than doing it yourself, giving you more time to concentrate on what you love.\\n2-4. Donate to worthwhile causes.\\nThough rich people have more money than others, research shows that they tend to be relatively less generous than people with less money. The ultra-rich donate a smaller percentage of their wealth than those with more average incomes. At the same time, research shows that contributing to causes you value increases your sense of happiness. So when you are rich, give generously and reap the rewards of happiness!\\nFind a charity or organization involved in something you value, whether it’s housing the homeless or giving seed money to startups, and donate.\\n2-5. Volunteer your time and expertise.\\nGiving doesn’t have to be monetary. If you can find ways to devote time to helping others, or to share your knowledge and experience, this can also increase your happiness. And if you are rich, it will can be easier to have the freedom to make this happen. Think about doing things like:\\nTutoring at-risk children\\nGiving motivational talks to young entrepreneurs about how you became successful\\nGetting involved in your community, through local politics, charities, etc.\\n3. Finding Contentment At Any Income Level\\n3-1. Determine your values.\\nKnowing what is important to you, aside from money, is key to feeling fulfilled and happy. Reflect on where you come from, where you are, and where you want to go in life. Brainstorm a list of the things that are most important to you, and then consider ranking or grouping them. Values might include things like:\\nA strong sense of family\\nCharity (giving to others)\\nIndependence (the feeling that you are able to do what you want to)\\nPride in your work or other accomplishments\\n3-2. Recognize that money only makes a limited contribution to happiness.\\nResearch shows that having enough money to cover your expenses and leave some leftover to enjoy life does boost feelings of happiness. Not having enough money to cover your needs can increase stress. After a certain point, however, more money doesn’t mean more happiness. Keep this in mind when determining what it will take for you to feel rich.\\nRemember that rich people encounter their own problems that aren’t a factor in the lives of others. For instance, they may worry that their children will be labeled “trust fund babies,” or that their friends will only like them because they have money.\\n3-3. Express gratitude.\\nPracticing thankfulness means taking the time to reflect on the good things you have, no matter how wealthy you are. It’s especially important to recognize the things you have or that are good in your life, independent of money. You can try keeping a “gratitude journal” where you write down things you are thankful for every day or week. You can also tell others that you are thankful for them. For example:\\nYou might include an entry in your gratitude journal that describes how you are thankful that someone held the door for you when your hands were full, or how you are thankful for your good health.\\nYou could tell your sister “Jane, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am that you always have a positive attitude. You always lift my spirits!”\\n3-4. Reduce or eliminate debt.\\nEven if you aren’t rich, you can take some steps to feel more financially secure. The more you can lower your debt, the better you will feel about your financial situation, no matter your income or wealth. Having fewer financial obligations means that you can free up more income to save, invest, or spend on meaningful experiences.\\nPay down your credit cards, if you have any\\nWork to pay off any loans you may have, such as a mortgage or student loans\\nAvoid taking on more debt for things you don’t really need. For example, if your current car works fine, don’t take out a loan to buy a new one.\\n3-5. Live in a place with a high standard of living.\\nYou are more likely to feel happy living in a location that has well-functioning infrastructures, a stable government, an open society, and amenities that you value. While moving isn't always the easiest thing to do, you might consider relocating to increase your happiness, if you don’t like where you are now.\\nThe right location for you depends on your values--some people want the excitement and amenities of a metropolitan area, while others long for the openness, quiet, and solitude of rural areas.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Money might not buy happiness, but that doesn't it's impossible to be both rich and happy. We'll help you learn practical ways to increase your earnings while still being fulfilled and content in life!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gaining Wealth in Meaningful Ways\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine what your goals are.\", \"描述\": \"Each person has their own concept of what it means to be “rich.” For some it is attaining a certain level of personal worth, or having the financial freedom to acquire and enjoy the finer things in life. For others, being rich means attaining financial security--owning a home, having no debt, and having disposable income, for instance. Keeping in mind that money only increases happiness to a certain point, ask yourself what your definition of “rich” is:\\nWhat income level do you think it would take to achieve your goals or dreams?\\nDo you want to build wealth through working, investments, or some other means?\\nWhat kinds of things and experiences would you hope to gain from being rich? A huge home? A yacht? The ability to travel the world?\\nWhat less tangible things would make you feel rich? Supporting a family? Becoming a leader in your career? Being able to make significant donations to charities?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find work that matters to you.\", \"描述\": \"If you are working to build wealth, then the job you choose to pursue will be an important decision to make. Top-earning positions in business, technology, and other high-demand areas can be your ticket to success, but also very hard to come by. If you have slightly more modest goals, you can start building wealth as long as you have at least some money left over after your bills are paid. But to be both rich and happy, you will need to find your job meaningful. \\nPeople are often told that “doing what you love” is the key to success. You can’t always turn your passions into a way to make money, however. Concentrate on finding a job that allows you to earn the level of income you want, and that you value--even if it’s not your dream.\\nFor example, painting landscapes might be what you really love to do, but hard to turn into a career that will lead to wealth. However, you might be able to pursue a well-paying job managing a museum or arts foundation, and paint in your spare time. While you might not become super-rich this way, you can attain financial security and still find work in an area you value.\\nOn the other hand, don’t make the mistake of seeking a job you hate, just because it leads to lots of money. That’s a sure way to become burned out and unhappy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make smart decisions with your money.\", \"描述\": \"In most cases, to become rich, you’ll have to do more than just earn money: you’ll have to put your money to work, too. Look for ways to invest, seek out business ventures, and keep your eye on other opportunities to grow your nest egg. In the meantime, live below your means--avoid spending extravagantly, even if you feel like you have plenty to spare. Try doing things like:\\nBuying an economical car instead of a Rolls Royce\\nDownsizing your home to reduce your mortgage or rent payment\\nRegularly setting aside a specific portion of your income for saving and investments\\nPutting some money toward investments that are higher-risk but have the potential for higher returns, such as stocks, rather than just toward relatively safe but low-earning investments, like savings accounts.\\nTalking to a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or other trusted advisor to plan your investments and wealth growth.\\nLiving frugally, which can increase your happiness. Studies show that less clutter, fewer things, and fewer expenses can reduce stress, so keep it simple even if you are rich.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding Fulfillment When Wealthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid envying others.\", \"描述\": \"Having money, even lots of it, won’t necessarily stop you from wishing you had something that someone else has. Feeling envious and trying to keep up with the Joneses won’t make you happy--quite the opposite. It’s much more important to find satisfaction with what you have, where you are in life.\\nKeep your eye on the intangible, non-material things you identified when defining “rich” for yourself. Things like valuing your work, the people around you, your health, etc. matter much more for happiness, in the end, than the stuff that you have or don’t have.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people you love.\", \"描述\": \"Whether they are rich or not, everyone wants to be valued accepted by others to some extent. Close relationships with other people build your sense of security, intimacy, and fulfillment in life--all things that contribute to your sense of happiness. When you are rich, don’t neglect the people around you.\\nMake sure to spend quality time with your family and friends. Do whatever you enjoy--go on a vacation with them, meet them for dinner, play games together, or just talk.\\nSpending quality time with people you love also shows them that you value them above all things, even money. This will increase their happiness as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend money on experiences instead of things.\", \"描述\": \"Accumulating material things might seem like one of the benefits to being rich. To some extent, it’s satisfying to get the things you want, but this satisfaction is usually fleeting. Studies show that spending money on experiences (like vacations, a surprise party for your partner, skydiving, etc.) contribute far more to long-term happiness than material things (like a Ferrari or diamond earrings) do.\\nSpending money to free up more of your time can also increase your happiness. So, if you can afford it, pay someone to clean your house, mow your lawn, or other low-priority tasks, rather than doing it yourself, giving you more time to concentrate on what you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Donate to worthwhile causes.\", \"描述\": \"Though rich people have more money than others, research shows that they tend to be relatively less generous than people with less money. The ultra-rich donate a smaller percentage of their wealth than those with more average incomes. At the same time, research shows that contributing to causes you value increases your sense of happiness. So when you are rich, give generously and reap the rewards of happiness!\\nFind a charity or organization involved in something you value, whether it’s housing the homeless or giving seed money to startups, and donate.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Volunteer your time and expertise.\", \"描述\": \"Giving doesn’t have to be monetary. If you can find ways to devote time to helping others, or to share your knowledge and experience, this can also increase your happiness. And if you are rich, it will can be easier to have the freedom to make this happen. Think about doing things like:\\nTutoring at-risk children\\nGiving motivational talks to young entrepreneurs about how you became successful\\nGetting involved in your community, through local politics, charities, etc.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finding Contentment At Any Income Level\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine your values.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing what is important to you, aside from money, is key to feeling fulfilled and happy. Reflect on where you come from, where you are, and where you want to go in life. Brainstorm a list of the things that are most important to you, and then consider ranking or grouping them. Values might include things like:\\nA strong sense of family\\nCharity (giving to others)\\nIndependence (the feeling that you are able to do what you want to)\\nPride in your work or other accomplishments\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize that money only makes a limited contribution to happiness.\", \"描述\": \"Research shows that having enough money to cover your expenses and leave some leftover to enjoy life does boost feelings of happiness. Not having enough money to cover your needs can increase stress. After a certain point, however, more money doesn’t mean more happiness. Keep this in mind when determining what it will take for you to feel rich.\\nRemember that rich people encounter their own problems that aren’t a factor in the lives of others. For instance, they may worry that their children will be labeled “trust fund babies,” or that their friends will only like them because they have money.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Express gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing thankfulness means taking the time to reflect on the good things you have, no matter how wealthy you are. It’s especially important to recognize the things you have or that are good in your life, independent of money. You can try keeping a “gratitude journal” where you write down things you are thankful for every day or week. You can also tell others that you are thankful for them. For example:\\nYou might include an entry in your gratitude journal that describes how you are thankful that someone held the door for you when your hands were full, or how you are thankful for your good health.\\nYou could tell your sister “Jane, I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am that you always have a positive attitude. You always lift my spirits!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reduce or eliminate debt.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you aren’t rich, you can take some steps to feel more financially secure. The more you can lower your debt, the better you will feel about your financial situation, no matter your income or wealth. Having fewer financial obligations means that you can free up more income to save, invest, or spend on meaningful experiences.\\nPay down your credit cards, if you have any\\nWork to pay off any loans you may have, such as a mortgage or student loans\\nAvoid taking on more debt for things you don’t really need. For example, if your current car works fine, don’t take out a loan to buy a new one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Live in a place with a high standard of living.\", \"描述\": \"You are more likely to feel happy living in a location that has well-functioning infrastructures, a stable government, an open society, and amenities that you value. While moving isn't always the easiest thing to do, you might consider relocating to increase your happiness, if you don’t like where you are now.\\nThe right location for you depends on your values--some people want the excitement and amenities of a metropolitan area, while others long for the openness, quiet, and solitude of rural areas.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,103 | How to Be Rich at a Young Age | 1. Earning A Large Amount of Money
1-1. Set your goals
Before you do anything else, realize that the road to riches is not easy. You're going to have to stay motivated through the tough times and keep yourself on track when everything tries to pull you off it. Part of this may be simply imagining your goals or, in other words, where you want to be in ten or twenty years or at age 40.
While it's perfectly acceptable to get rich for yourself, you may also be motivated by what you could do for others. Imagine the better life you could give your future children or spouse.
Don't be afraid to dream big. If you're working towards earning $1 million in net worth, for example, you may be limiting yourself. Don't be afraid to aim for $20 million, or $100 million.
Consider, too, what wealth means to you. Do you want $1 million (or more) in annual earnings, $1 million in assets, or $1 million in net worth? Each of these are different and can be reached by different means.
1-2. Split your goals into short-term goals.
It's important to always keep your overarching motivation, but in order to actually get things done, you'll need to organize your life around actionable, short-term goals. You'll never get to $1 million if you don't get to $100,000 first. You'll never get there if you don't start earning more money and saving the money that you do earn. Always be checking off short-term goals and considering your next move to maintain a sense of accomplishment.
A good way to make short-term goals more actionable is to attach a number to them. For example, imagine you have a job in sales. "Sell more products" is not a clear short-term goal. Instead, try "sell 20% more products this month than last month." This will allow you to track your progress and be confident that you are actually achieving your goals.
1-3. Study the lives of successful people.
People who have achieved great things have done so for a reason. Studying the lives of these people, or meeting them, can provide you with the inspiration you need to pursue your own goals. You'll want to research people like Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, or Mark Cuban, a very successful investor, to get an idea how these people achieved so much.
Additionally, you should seek the advice of a successful person that you know personally. Maybe you have a family member or know a community member who has done well in business. Generally, those people who've made it are open about how they got there and willing to share their experiences and advice with others. Question them extensively and try to replicate their actions.
1-4. Work towards getting a great job.
If you don't have a job with a future, get one. The most essential part of getting rich is having a steady and increasing income stream. To do this, you'll have to get a job, even if that job is working for yourself. Obviously the right job will vary from person to person and depend on your individual talents and educational background. In any case, though, be sure that you're passionate about what you do, you'll never be successful otherwise.
Try looking for a job with a large company that offers plenty of room for advancement. You don't want the sort of job that doesn't reward your hard work with increased pay and promotions.
For more information about finding your dream job, see How to Find Your Dream Career.
1-5. Use your talents.
Tailor your search for your main job and any other income streams you plan to earn to your individual talents. People who are extraordinarily successful combine their natural and learned abilities to the highest advantage. That is, you don't want to stay in a job that doesn't challenge you or allow you to show off your abilities. For example, if what you're really good at is writing, you're better off quitting your sales job and focusing on writing full-time.
One of the biggest advantages of being young is youth itself. Even though older people in the business will question you because of your lack of experience, you are able to work longer hours and can bring a fresh mindset or point of view to the problems of the world. Your adaptability and connection with the present is one of your biggest assets as a young entrepreneur.
If you don't have any marketable skills, learn one. For example, one of the most desirable and useful skills in today's job market is knowing how to write computer code. This is a skill that anyone can learn that could dramatically increase your potential and also earn you a good income. Try searching for free coding classes available online.
1-6. Network with anyone and everyone.
Big ideas and successful companies usually don't just spring up from one person. Rather, they're the result of a group of like-minded people coming together and discussing the future. Take advantage of every opportunity to meet and establish relationships with both young people with similar goals and older, successful people. When great opportunities for jobs or entrepreneurial projects come along, you'll have the right support network to take action.
Keep in mind that you should use both in-person and social networking interactions to support and nurture your professional relationships. Be sure to also stay in touch with classmates from high school or college that are successful or on their way to being successful.
1-7. Increase your income streams.
In addition to increasing your primary income stream (by moving up the ladder your current job or by finding a new one), you'll want to multiply your earnings by seeking additional sources of income. These can be investments, part-time jobs, or any sort of informal selling or consulting that you have time to do. Overall, see where and how you can increase your income and then repeat that process over and over again. For example, if you own an online store and have success, open another one, and then another one.
The internet is a goldmine of earning potential. There is a multitude of work you can find or create online to earn a stream of income on the side. Everything from writing and selling an ebook to writing a blog can earn you additional income each month. For more information, see how to make money online.
1-8. Work really hard.
With all of your working, networking, and side-income projects, you'll be overwhelmed at times. In order to reach your goals though, you'll have to work harder and later than everyone else around you. You'll have to follow through with any potential opportunities to advance, even if they don't end up working out. Success comes from constantly working towards your goals and persevering through the hard times.
2. Choosing a High-Paying Job
2-1. Be an entrepreneur.
This is the dream, the holy grail, for all young, aspiring millionaires and billionaires. Owning and then subsequently growing and selling a successful business is without a doubt the fastest way to earn spectacular wealth at a young age. This is how almost all the world's wealthiest young people made their money (excluding inherited wealth). However, actually becoming an entrepreneur requires balancing your massive earning potential with a huge amount of risk, lots of hard work, and the chance that even if you do it all right, you might still fail.
Some of the pros of becoming an entrepreneur at a young age include unlimited earning potential, being your own boss, and, quite literally, the ability to change the world (think about how Zuckerberg's founding Facebook has changed your world). Also, as a young person, you bring new ways of thinking and tremendous energy that can give you an edge over older professionals.
On the flip side, when becoming an entrepreneur you have to realize that 9 out of 10 businesses fail within five years. You're also likely too young to have any knowledge of the "little things" involved in running a business, like bookkeeping and taxation, leaving you to learn them quickly or sink trying. And, more than any other path, starting your own company will be incredibly hard work, combining a lack of direction with long hours and doubtful paychecks.
For more, see how to become an entrepreneur.
2-2. Become an investment banker.
If you have a college degree in economics, finance, business, math, or a related field, or you will soon, and want to make as much money possible right now, work to become an investment banker. Investment banking salaries typically start at around $80,000 to $120,000 per year, with the average worker earning $112,000 right out of college. Investment banking jobs consistently top the rankings of highest-paying jobs for young people.
One of the biggest pros of becoming an investment banker, in addition to the huge salary, is the massive amount of opportunities for advancement. Investment bankers can double or triple their salaries quickly by advancing within the company or outside to private equity and venture capital firms.
Investment banking also comes with high competition among coworkers and very long hours. Don't jump into this career if you're not ready to work all night and weekends and fight for advancement every day.
For more, see how to become an investment banker.
2-3. Become a software developer.
If working with computers is more your thing, software developer jobs also boast a high starting salary. Like with investment banking, you'll need a college degree to get into this career, specifically in computer science, engineering, or math. As an entry-level developer, though, you stand to make $84,000 per year, on average, designing anything from business software to video games.
Being a software developer will require a knack for coding and math, and may also require long hours and high expectations. You'll also have to stay up to date on the newest computer systems and coding languages. However, if you're good enough, earning potential just goes up and up at higher-end companies like Google and Facebook.
For more, see how to become a software engineer and how to get a software development job.
2-4. Become an engineer.
Engineering in this case is a blanket term that covers all sorts of engineering, from chemicals to aerospace. However, on average, an engineer with a relevant college degree can expect a salary of $72,000. Specifically, petroleum engineers can expect to make the most, with an average salary of $88,700.
While engineering can be a great and well-paying career, it is very difficult to pass the rigorous training received in undergraduate and graduate school. This career is only for those with strong math and science abilities.
For more, see how to become an engineer
3. Saving and Investing What You Earn
3-1. Don't spend all of your money.
If you are not saving at least 25% of what you earn, start today. Take your income and expenses and find out where you can start to cut back, sell something, downsize or make a crack in your expenses. If you make at least $50,000 a year, you should be saving $12,500 a year. If you are spending a lot of money on an automobile, sell it. Some high-earning people end up essentially poor because they still manage to live beyond their means.
The younger generations of today have been born into a very commercialized world that constantly pushes the newest gadgets and clothes on us. In order to save and build wealth, you'll have to ignore the urge to indulge in these trinkets, even when you start making good money. Keep this in mind: poor people buy things from rich people and rich people buy investments to make themselves richer. Which side do you want to be on?
For more ways to cut expenses, see how to save money.
3-2. Take your saved income and allocate it for investing.
Set up an automatic draft (payment) from your household account to your investment account. One of the biggest parts of becoming rich is making your money work for you. Therefore, try to allocate as much money as possible to an account that you can use to invest in the stock market. You can either set up an account with a local money manager or through one of the online trading websites to get started.
3-3. Read up on investing strategies and techniques.
There are three books everyone should read before you put a dollar into any investment. Read "Become Your Own Banker," "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and "LEAP" - in that order. If you don't have the motivation to read and educate yourself then you are not motivated to be rich. These books are the cornerstone of becoming rich, wealthy and in control of your own destiny.
3-4. Invest in the stock market.
You can go about this one of two ways: either have an advisor do it for you or try to do it yourself. Because of the complicated nature of the financial markets, it is generally a good idea to leave investing, especially risky investing, to professionals. However, if you have the time and aptitude, you can avoid paying fees to an investment manager by doing it yourself. This will require a deep understanding of financial markets and the time required to follow them, however.
A good place to start is with "small-cap" stocks (shares of small companies) and shares of companies in foreign markets. These markets come with a large amount of risk and therefore also carry the potential for large returns. Always remember that large potential returns also come with the chance of massive losses. Mutual Funds can help reduce the risk involved.
For more information on investing in stocks, see how to invest in the stock market.
3-5. Invest in more valuable assets.
Once you've saved enough money in your stock-market account, you can invest in larger, income-producing assets like properties and small businesses. While risky, these investments may allow you earn a steady income that eventually will pay back your original investment and provide additional income streams. Eventually, these income streams may replace your primary income and allow you to either switch to a less-demanding job or retire young.
Decide where you want to focus your energy. Rental property investing, for example, is a slow process but with safe returns on your money. Your principal is paid by the renters over a number of years and eventually becomes entirely profit. Learn from other people's mistakes and consider the risks extensively before you make any investments.
Warnings
Don't try "get rich quick" schemes.
Any investment advice provided in this article is a guide only and is not intended to replace professional investment advice. Take time to consider the risks of any investment before buying.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Earning A Large Amount of Money\\n1-1. Set your goals\\nBefore you do anything else, realize that the road to riches is not easy. You're going to have to stay motivated through the tough times and keep yourself on track when everything tries to pull you off it. Part of this may be simply imagining your goals or, in other words, where you want to be in ten or twenty years or at age 40.\\nWhile it's perfectly acceptable to get rich for yourself, you may also be motivated by what you could do for others. Imagine the better life you could give your future children or spouse.\\nDon't be afraid to dream big. If you're working towards earning $1 million in net worth, for example, you may be limiting yourself. Don't be afraid to aim for $20 million, or $100 million.\\nConsider, too, what wealth means to you. Do you want $1 million (or more) in annual earnings, $1 million in assets, or $1 million in net worth? Each of these are different and can be reached by different means.\\n1-2. Split your goals into short-term goals.\\nIt's important to always keep your overarching motivation, but in order to actually get things done, you'll need to organize your life around actionable, short-term goals. You'll never get to $1 million if you don't get to $100,000 first. You'll never get there if you don't start earning more money and saving the money that you do earn. Always be checking off short-term goals and considering your next move to maintain a sense of accomplishment.\\nA good way to make short-term goals more actionable is to attach a number to them. For example, imagine you have a job in sales. \\\"Sell more products\\\" is not a clear short-term goal. Instead, try \\\"sell 20% more products this month than last month.\\\" This will allow you to track your progress and be confident that you are actually achieving your goals.\\n1-3. Study the lives of successful people.\\nPeople who have achieved great things have done so for a reason. Studying the lives of these people, or meeting them, can provide you with the inspiration you need to pursue your own goals. You'll want to research people like Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, or Mark Cuban, a very successful investor, to get an idea how these people achieved so much.\\nAdditionally, you should seek the advice of a successful person that you know personally. Maybe you have a family member or know a community member who has done well in business. Generally, those people who've made it are open about how they got there and willing to share their experiences and advice with others. Question them extensively and try to replicate their actions.\\n1-4. Work towards getting a great job.\\nIf you don't have a job with a future, get one. The most essential part of getting rich is having a steady and increasing income stream. To do this, you'll have to get a job, even if that job is working for yourself. Obviously the right job will vary from person to person and depend on your individual talents and educational background. In any case, though, be sure that you're passionate about what you do, you'll never be successful otherwise.\\nTry looking for a job with a large company that offers plenty of room for advancement. You don't want the sort of job that doesn't reward your hard work with increased pay and promotions.\\nFor more information about finding your dream job, see How to Find Your Dream Career.\\n1-5. Use your talents.\\nTailor your search for your main job and any other income streams you plan to earn to your individual talents. People who are extraordinarily successful combine their natural and learned abilities to the highest advantage. That is, you don't want to stay in a job that doesn't challenge you or allow you to show off your abilities. For example, if what you're really good at is writing, you're better off quitting your sales job and focusing on writing full-time.\\nOne of the biggest advantages of being young is youth itself. Even though older people in the business will question you because of your lack of experience, you are able to work longer hours and can bring a fresh mindset or point of view to the problems of the world. Your adaptability and connection with the present is one of your biggest assets as a young entrepreneur.\\nIf you don't have any marketable skills, learn one. For example, one of the most desirable and useful skills in today's job market is knowing how to write computer code. This is a skill that anyone can learn that could dramatically increase your potential and also earn you a good income. Try searching for free coding classes available online.\\n1-6. Network with anyone and everyone.\\nBig ideas and successful companies usually don't just spring up from one person. Rather, they're the result of a group of like-minded people coming together and discussing the future. Take advantage of every opportunity to meet and establish relationships with both young people with similar goals and older, successful people. When great opportunities for jobs or entrepreneurial projects come along, you'll have the right support network to take action.\\nKeep in mind that you should use both in-person and social networking interactions to support and nurture your professional relationships. Be sure to also stay in touch with classmates from high school or college that are successful or on their way to being successful.\\n1-7. Increase your income streams.\\nIn addition to increasing your primary income stream (by moving up the ladder your current job or by finding a new one), you'll want to multiply your earnings by seeking additional sources of income. These can be investments, part-time jobs, or any sort of informal selling or consulting that you have time to do. Overall, see where and how you can increase your income and then repeat that process over and over again. For example, if you own an online store and have success, open another one, and then another one.\\nThe internet is a goldmine of earning potential. There is a multitude of work you can find or create online to earn a stream of income on the side. Everything from writing and selling an ebook to writing a blog can earn you additional income each month. For more information, see how to make money online.\\n1-8. Work really hard.\\nWith all of your working, networking, and side-income projects, you'll be overwhelmed at times. In order to reach your goals though, you'll have to work harder and later than everyone else around you. You'll have to follow through with any potential opportunities to advance, even if they don't end up working out. Success comes from constantly working towards your goals and persevering through the hard times.\\n2. Choosing a High-Paying Job\\n2-1. Be an entrepreneur.\\nThis is the dream, the holy grail, for all young, aspiring millionaires and billionaires. Owning and then subsequently growing and selling a successful business is without a doubt the fastest way to earn spectacular wealth at a young age. This is how almost all the world's wealthiest young people made their money (excluding inherited wealth). However, actually becoming an entrepreneur requires balancing your massive earning potential with a huge amount of risk, lots of hard work, and the chance that even if you do it all right, you might still fail.\\nSome of the pros of becoming an entrepreneur at a young age include unlimited earning potential, being your own boss, and, quite literally, the ability to change the world (think about how Zuckerberg's founding Facebook has changed your world). Also, as a young person, you bring new ways of thinking and tremendous energy that can give you an edge over older professionals.\\nOn the flip side, when becoming an entrepreneur you have to realize that 9 out of 10 businesses fail within five years. You're also likely too young to have any knowledge of the \\\"little things\\\" involved in running a business, like bookkeeping and taxation, leaving you to learn them quickly or sink trying. And, more than any other path, starting your own company will be incredibly hard work, combining a lack of direction with long hours and doubtful paychecks.\\nFor more, see how to become an entrepreneur.\\n2-2. Become an investment banker.\\nIf you have a college degree in economics, finance, business, math, or a related field, or you will soon, and want to make as much money possible right now, work to become an investment banker. Investment banking salaries typically start at around $80,000 to $120,000 per year, with the average worker earning $112,000 right out of college. Investment banking jobs consistently top the rankings of highest-paying jobs for young people.\\nOne of the biggest pros of becoming an investment banker, in addition to the huge salary, is the massive amount of opportunities for advancement. Investment bankers can double or triple their salaries quickly by advancing within the company or outside to private equity and venture capital firms.\\nInvestment banking also comes with high competition among coworkers and very long hours. Don't jump into this career if you're not ready to work all night and weekends and fight for advancement every day.\\nFor more, see how to become an investment banker.\\n2-3. Become a software developer.\\nIf working with computers is more your thing, software developer jobs also boast a high starting salary. Like with investment banking, you'll need a college degree to get into this career, specifically in computer science, engineering, or math. As an entry-level developer, though, you stand to make $84,000 per year, on average, designing anything from business software to video games.\\nBeing a software developer will require a knack for coding and math, and may also require long hours and high expectations. You'll also have to stay up to date on the newest computer systems and coding languages. However, if you're good enough, earning potential just goes up and up at higher-end companies like Google and Facebook.\\nFor more, see how to become a software engineer and how to get a software development job.\\n2-4. Become an engineer.\\nEngineering in this case is a blanket term that covers all sorts of engineering, from chemicals to aerospace. However, on average, an engineer with a relevant college degree can expect a salary of $72,000. Specifically, petroleum engineers can expect to make the most, with an average salary of $88,700.\\nWhile engineering can be a great and well-paying career, it is very difficult to pass the rigorous training received in undergraduate and graduate school. This career is only for those with strong math and science abilities.\\nFor more, see how to become an engineer\\n3. Saving and Investing What You Earn\\n3-1. Don't spend all of your money.\\nIf you are not saving at least 25% of what you earn, start today. Take your income and expenses and find out where you can start to cut back, sell something, downsize or make a crack in your expenses. If you make at least $50,000 a year, you should be saving $12,500 a year. If you are spending a lot of money on an automobile, sell it. Some high-earning people end up essentially poor because they still manage to live beyond their means.\\nThe younger generations of today have been born into a very commercialized world that constantly pushes the newest gadgets and clothes on us. In order to save and build wealth, you'll have to ignore the urge to indulge in these trinkets, even when you start making good money. Keep this in mind: poor people buy things from rich people and rich people buy investments to make themselves richer. Which side do you want to be on?\\nFor more ways to cut expenses, see how to save money.\\n3-2. Take your saved income and allocate it for investing.\\nSet up an automatic draft (payment) from your household account to your investment account. One of the biggest parts of becoming rich is making your money work for you. Therefore, try to allocate as much money as possible to an account that you can use to invest in the stock market. You can either set up an account with a local money manager or through one of the online trading websites to get started.\\n3-3. Read up on investing strategies and techniques.\\nThere are three books everyone should read before you put a dollar into any investment. Read \\\"Become Your Own Banker,\\\" \\\"Rich Dad, Poor Dad\\\" and \\\"LEAP\\\" - in that order. If you don't have the motivation to read and educate yourself then you are not motivated to be rich. These books are the cornerstone of becoming rich, wealthy and in control of your own destiny.\\n3-4. Invest in the stock market.\\nYou can go about this one of two ways: either have an advisor do it for you or try to do it yourself. Because of the complicated nature of the financial markets, it is generally a good idea to leave investing, especially risky investing, to professionals. However, if you have the time and aptitude, you can avoid paying fees to an investment manager by doing it yourself. This will require a deep understanding of financial markets and the time required to follow them, however.\\nA good place to start is with \\\"small-cap\\\" stocks (shares of small companies) and shares of companies in foreign markets. These markets come with a large amount of risk and therefore also carry the potential for large returns. Always remember that large potential returns also come with the chance of massive losses. Mutual Funds can help reduce the risk involved.\\nFor more information on investing in stocks, see how to invest in the stock market.\\n3-5. Invest in more valuable assets.\\nOnce you've saved enough money in your stock-market account, you can invest in larger, income-producing assets like properties and small businesses. While risky, these investments may allow you earn a steady income that eventually will pay back your original investment and provide additional income streams. Eventually, these income streams may replace your primary income and allow you to either switch to a less-demanding job or retire young.\\nDecide where you want to focus your energy. Rental property investing, for example, is a slow process but with safe returns on your money. Your principal is paid by the renters over a number of years and eventually becomes entirely profit. Learn from other people's mistakes and consider the risks extensively before you make any investments.\\nWarnings\\nDon't try \\\"get rich quick\\\" schemes.\\nAny investment advice provided in this article is a guide only and is not intended to replace professional investment advice. Take time to consider the risks of any investment before buying.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting rich at any age, and particularly a young age, requires hard work, planning, and saving for most people, unless they are lucky enough to inherit their wealth. While it may seem like young and famous entertainers, athletes, and business people got rich by chance or simply because of their given talents, everything they've accomplished is the result of dedication and perseverance. Most people will not be able to achieve this astronomical level of success, but anyone who sets their mind to it can be rich in a few short years by sticking to certain principles and putting in the necessary time and effort.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Earning A Large Amount of Money\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set your goals\", \"描述\": \"Before you do anything else, realize that the road to riches is not easy. You're going to have to stay motivated through the tough times and keep yourself on track when everything tries to pull you off it. Part of this may be simply imagining your goals or, in other words, where you want to be in ten or twenty years or at age 40.\\nWhile it's perfectly acceptable to get rich for yourself, you may also be motivated by what you could do for others. Imagine the better life you could give your future children or spouse.\\nDon't be afraid to dream big. If you're working towards earning $1 million in net worth, for example, you may be limiting yourself. Don't be afraid to aim for $20 million, or $100 million.\\nConsider, too, what wealth means to you. Do you want $1 million (or more) in annual earnings, $1 million in assets, or $1 million in net worth? Each of these are different and can be reached by different means.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Split your goals into short-term goals.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to always keep your overarching motivation, but in order to actually get things done, you'll need to organize your life around actionable, short-term goals. You'll never get to $1 million if you don't get to $100,000 first. You'll never get there if you don't start earning more money and saving the money that you do earn. Always be checking off short-term goals and considering your next move to maintain a sense of accomplishment.\\nA good way to make short-term goals more actionable is to attach a number to them. For example, imagine you have a job in sales. \\\"Sell more products\\\" is not a clear short-term goal. Instead, try \\\"sell 20% more products this month than last month.\\\" This will allow you to track your progress and be confident that you are actually achieving your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Study the lives of successful people.\", \"描述\": \"People who have achieved great things have done so for a reason. Studying the lives of these people, or meeting them, can provide you with the inspiration you need to pursue your own goals. You'll want to research people like Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, or Mark Cuban, a very successful investor, to get an idea how these people achieved so much.\\nAdditionally, you should seek the advice of a successful person that you know personally. Maybe you have a family member or know a community member who has done well in business. Generally, those people who've made it are open about how they got there and willing to share their experiences and advice with others. Question them extensively and try to replicate their actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work towards getting a great job.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't have a job with a future, get one. The most essential part of getting rich is having a steady and increasing income stream. To do this, you'll have to get a job, even if that job is working for yourself. Obviously the right job will vary from person to person and depend on your individual talents and educational background. In any case, though, be sure that you're passionate about what you do, you'll never be successful otherwise.\\nTry looking for a job with a large company that offers plenty of room for advancement. You don't want the sort of job that doesn't reward your hard work with increased pay and promotions.\\nFor more information about finding your dream job, see How to Find Your Dream Career.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use your talents.\", \"描述\": \"Tailor your search for your main job and any other income streams you plan to earn to your individual talents. People who are extraordinarily successful combine their natural and learned abilities to the highest advantage. That is, you don't want to stay in a job that doesn't challenge you or allow you to show off your abilities. For example, if what you're really good at is writing, you're better off quitting your sales job and focusing on writing full-time.\\nOne of the biggest advantages of being young is youth itself. Even though older people in the business will question you because of your lack of experience, you are able to work longer hours and can bring a fresh mindset or point of view to the problems of the world. Your adaptability and connection with the present is one of your biggest assets as a young entrepreneur.\\nIf you don't have any marketable skills, learn one. For example, one of the most desirable and useful skills in today's job market is knowing how to write computer code. This is a skill that anyone can learn that could dramatically increase your potential and also earn you a good income. Try searching for free coding classes available online.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Network with anyone and everyone.\", \"描述\": \"Big ideas and successful companies usually don't just spring up from one person. Rather, they're the result of a group of like-minded people coming together and discussing the future. Take advantage of every opportunity to meet and establish relationships with both young people with similar goals and older, successful people. When great opportunities for jobs or entrepreneurial projects come along, you'll have the right support network to take action.\\nKeep in mind that you should use both in-person and social networking interactions to support and nurture your professional relationships. Be sure to also stay in touch with classmates from high school or college that are successful or on their way to being successful.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Increase your income streams.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to increasing your primary income stream (by moving up the ladder your current job or by finding a new one), you'll want to multiply your earnings by seeking additional sources of income. These can be investments, part-time jobs, or any sort of informal selling or consulting that you have time to do. Overall, see where and how you can increase your income and then repeat that process over and over again. For example, if you own an online store and have success, open another one, and then another one.\\nThe internet is a goldmine of earning potential. There is a multitude of work you can find or create online to earn a stream of income on the side. Everything from writing and selling an ebook to writing a blog can earn you additional income each month. For more information, see how to make money online.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Work really hard.\", \"描述\": \"With all of your working, networking, and side-income projects, you'll be overwhelmed at times. In order to reach your goals though, you'll have to work harder and later than everyone else around you. You'll have to follow through with any potential opportunities to advance, even if they don't end up working out. Success comes from constantly working towards your goals and persevering through the hard times.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing a High-Paying Job\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be an entrepreneur.\", \"描述\": \"This is the dream, the holy grail, for all young, aspiring millionaires and billionaires. Owning and then subsequently growing and selling a successful business is without a doubt the fastest way to earn spectacular wealth at a young age. This is how almost all the world's wealthiest young people made their money (excluding inherited wealth). However, actually becoming an entrepreneur requires balancing your massive earning potential with a huge amount of risk, lots of hard work, and the chance that even if you do it all right, you might still fail.\\nSome of the pros of becoming an entrepreneur at a young age include unlimited earning potential, being your own boss, and, quite literally, the ability to change the world (think about how Zuckerberg's founding Facebook has changed your world). Also, as a young person, you bring new ways of thinking and tremendous energy that can give you an edge over older professionals.\\nOn the flip side, when becoming an entrepreneur you have to realize that 9 out of 10 businesses fail within five years. You're also likely too young to have any knowledge of the \\\"little things\\\" involved in running a business, like bookkeeping and taxation, leaving you to learn them quickly or sink trying. And, more than any other path, starting your own company will be incredibly hard work, combining a lack of direction with long hours and doubtful paychecks.\\nFor more, see how to become an entrepreneur.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become an investment banker.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a college degree in economics, finance, business, math, or a related field, or you will soon, and want to make as much money possible right now, work to become an investment banker. Investment banking salaries typically start at around $80,000 to $120,000 per year, with the average worker earning $112,000 right out of college. Investment banking jobs consistently top the rankings of highest-paying jobs for young people.\\nOne of the biggest pros of becoming an investment banker, in addition to the huge salary, is the massive amount of opportunities for advancement. Investment bankers can double or triple their salaries quickly by advancing within the company or outside to private equity and venture capital firms.\\nInvestment banking also comes with high competition among coworkers and very long hours. Don't jump into this career if you're not ready to work all night and weekends and fight for advancement every day.\\nFor more, see how to become an investment banker.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Become a software developer.\", \"描述\": \"If working with computers is more your thing, software developer jobs also boast a high starting salary. Like with investment banking, you'll need a college degree to get into this career, specifically in computer science, engineering, or math. As an entry-level developer, though, you stand to make $84,000 per year, on average, designing anything from business software to video games.\\nBeing a software developer will require a knack for coding and math, and may also require long hours and high expectations. You'll also have to stay up to date on the newest computer systems and coding languages. However, if you're good enough, earning potential just goes up and up at higher-end companies like Google and Facebook.\\nFor more, see how to become a software engineer and how to get a software development job.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Become an engineer.\", \"描述\": \"Engineering in this case is a blanket term that covers all sorts of engineering, from chemicals to aerospace. However, on average, an engineer with a relevant college degree can expect a salary of $72,000. Specifically, petroleum engineers can expect to make the most, with an average salary of $88,700.\\nWhile engineering can be a great and well-paying career, it is very difficult to pass the rigorous training received in undergraduate and graduate school. This career is only for those with strong math and science abilities.\\nFor more, see how to become an engineer\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Saving and Investing What You Earn\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't spend all of your money.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not saving at least 25% of what you earn, start today. Take your income and expenses and find out where you can start to cut back, sell something, downsize or make a crack in your expenses. If you make at least $50,000 a year, you should be saving $12,500 a year. If you are spending a lot of money on an automobile, sell it. Some high-earning people end up essentially poor because they still manage to live beyond their means.\\nThe younger generations of today have been born into a very commercialized world that constantly pushes the newest gadgets and clothes on us. In order to save and build wealth, you'll have to ignore the urge to indulge in these trinkets, even when you start making good money. Keep this in mind: poor people buy things from rich people and rich people buy investments to make themselves richer. Which side do you want to be on?\\nFor more ways to cut expenses, see how to save money.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take your saved income and allocate it for investing.\", \"描述\": \"Set up an automatic draft (payment) from your household account to your investment account. One of the biggest parts of becoming rich is making your money work for you. Therefore, try to allocate as much money as possible to an account that you can use to invest in the stock market. You can either set up an account with a local money manager or through one of the online trading websites to get started.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read up on investing strategies and techniques.\", \"描述\": \"There are three books everyone should read before you put a dollar into any investment. Read \\\"Become Your Own Banker,\\\" \\\"Rich Dad, Poor Dad\\\" and \\\"LEAP\\\" - in that order. If you don't have the motivation to read and educate yourself then you are not motivated to be rich. These books are the cornerstone of becoming rich, wealthy and in control of your own destiny.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invest in the stock market.\", \"描述\": \"You can go about this one of two ways: either have an advisor do it for you or try to do it yourself. Because of the complicated nature of the financial markets, it is generally a good idea to leave investing, especially risky investing, to professionals. However, if you have the time and aptitude, you can avoid paying fees to an investment manager by doing it yourself. This will require a deep understanding of financial markets and the time required to follow them, however.\\nA good place to start is with \\\"small-cap\\\" stocks (shares of small companies) and shares of companies in foreign markets. These markets come with a large amount of risk and therefore also carry the potential for large returns. Always remember that large potential returns also come with the chance of massive losses. Mutual Funds can help reduce the risk involved.\\nFor more information on investing in stocks, see how to invest in the stock market.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Invest in more valuable assets.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've saved enough money in your stock-market account, you can invest in larger, income-producing assets like properties and small businesses. While risky, these investments may allow you earn a steady income that eventually will pay back your original investment and provide additional income streams. Eventually, these income streams may replace your primary income and allow you to either switch to a less-demanding job or retire young.\\nDecide where you want to focus your energy. Rental property investing, for example, is a slow process but with safe returns on your money. Your principal is paid by the renters over a number of years and eventually becomes entirely profit. Learn from other people's mistakes and consider the risks extensively before you make any investments.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't try \\\"get rich quick\\\" schemes.\\n\", \"Any investment advice provided in this article is a guide only and is not intended to replace professional investment advice. Take time to consider the risks of any investment before buying.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,104 | How to Be Right with the God of the Bible | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand that you are a sinner.
The Bible says that all of us have sinned and fall short of God's standard of righteousness. (Romans 3:23) Have you stolen? Lied? Cheated? Taken God's name in vain(blasphemy)? Thought bad thoughts? The Bible says "There is not one who is good, no one is righteous." (Ps. 14) In thought, word and deed we have failed to meet up to God's standards. The Bible says our righteous deeds apart from faith are like filthy rags before God. (Isaiah 64:6) If your motivation for being "good" is anything other than a desire to obey and honor God, it's not enough to please Him; to be in God's presence, we must be made holy through God's grace despite our sinful nature. Understanding that you are spiritually bankrupt and have broken God's commands is the first step to realizing you need God's forgiveness. Salvation is by grace and faith alone. It cannot be earned. (See Ephesians 2:8-9)
1-2. Pray, asking God to forgive your sins and give you a new heart with new desires from now on.
Act on that prayer by getting baptized in water(Acts 2:38)(Acts 18:8)(Acts 22:16). God's purpose for making us is so that He can demonstrate his mercy, grace, and loving kindness. Our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Embracing sin or trying to get "better" by yourself is a foolish attempt at ensuring the future. We often think that we can do enough good things to outweigh the bad, and God will reward us for it. But the truth is, purity and righteousness are unattainable without God's help. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. His sacrifice - of His life - was the consequence of every wrong thing we have done or will ever do. He knew we couldn't know Him through our own efforts, so He made a way for us to know Him by covering our sins with grace, on the cross.
1-3. In Jesus Christ, God can legally dismiss your case.
Repent from your sins. Repentance is a full 180degree turn from doing sin. Sin is breaking God's law. (1 John 3:4) Repentance isn't merely being sorry or guilty for sin, but it's turning away from it...God can't be mocked. God doesn't accept hypocritical repentance, thinking you can continue sinning so long as you ask for forgiveness. You will not have your sins forgiven unless you truly don't want to live wickedly anymore. Cry out to God to grant you godly sorrow, that you may turn from your sins and desire nothing but God's righteousness. Jesus paid your sin debt, He paid the fine you could not pay. The very sins you committed are the very things that crucified your Savior... you should not want anything to do with sin anymore. God will help you in your weaknesses and help you overcome evil.
1-4. Acknowledge God's Power to do this incredible thing, and ask Him to show you how to live His way.
God's Word - the Bible - is a love letter to the world. He wants to save us from sin's condemnation, but that only comes through repentance and trust in Jesus Christ and receiving the Holy Spirit . If you don't believe God is telling the truth, you will not allow Him to guide and save you, and you'll be condemned eternally to Hell because you never had your sins forgiven and weren't born-again (made a new creation in Christ.) We are "children of wrath" before we come to Christ. We must be made a child of righteousness. And only the finished work of Christ on the cross can grant us that--if we trust in Him.
1-5. Share the Gospel of Salvation.
If you are truly born again, you'll have the desire to tell others about the forgiveness available in Christ and that they can be made right with God before they die. If I love Christ, I'll obey what He commissioned all Christians to do: preach the Gospel!
1-6. Read your Bible and pray to God, asking Him to help you live His way.
Believe the promises in the Bible. Trust what God says is true -- so that: He means what He says. Then, watch Him work in your inner-being and in your daily life as He fulfills His promises to you in response to your faith and obedience. Are you growing in the fruits of the Spirit? (See Galatians 5:22-23)
1-7. Be happy
The Bible says that when someone who was lost is saved, all of heaven rejoices. Be thankful that God in His mercy, grace and loving kindness provided a way for you to be saved. Amazing grace truly becomes "amazing grace"!
Tips
Let other Christians support you and find a way to support other Christians who are aiming for the same goal as you are: to honor Christ and obey his Word.
As you pursue His truth by asking Him for wisdom and reading His Word, He will help you to know what it means and He will show you how to live.
God always loves us so we have to love him back and ask him to forgive our sins.
Warnings
Watch out for Christians who say they love the Lord but who do things you know aren't Biblical or consistent with God's character.
Don't base your picture of God only on what you see in other believers. Basically don't judge Christianity based on those in the Church. There are false converts who are hypocritical and aren't born again. Judge the truth based on the actions of Jesus Christ. He fulfilled Old Testament prophecy as Messiah, and fulfilled the Law of God by perfectly keeping it. He is the only way to be saved.
Christians are saved sinners - When you are born-again, you attitude toward sin has changed. You now hate what you once loved. Now you desire God and what He wants. You will encounter Christians who are not spiritually mature and may be stumbling in many ways, but if they're born of God, Christ will keep them and perfect them on the day we see Him face to face.
"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world." (1 John 4:1-3) Pray to God for discernment, to tell between truth from lies. Be a Berean, examine EVERYTHING under Scripture. (Acts 17:11) The Word of God is the final authority, not what any man/woman says. Study the Word of God and memorize Scripture, it is shaper than a double-edged sword. (Heb. 4:12)
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand that you are a sinner.\\nThe Bible says that all of us have sinned and fall short of God's standard of righteousness. (Romans 3:23) Have you stolen? Lied? Cheated? Taken God's name in vain(blasphemy)? Thought bad thoughts? The Bible says \\\"There is not one who is good, no one is righteous.\\\" (Ps. 14) In thought, word and deed we have failed to meet up to God's standards. The Bible says our righteous deeds apart from faith are like filthy rags before God. (Isaiah 64:6) If your motivation for being \\\"good\\\" is anything other than a desire to obey and honor God, it's not enough to please Him; to be in God's presence, we must be made holy through God's grace despite our sinful nature. Understanding that you are spiritually bankrupt and have broken God's commands is the first step to realizing you need God's forgiveness. Salvation is by grace and faith alone. It cannot be earned. (See Ephesians 2:8-9)\\n1-2. Pray, asking God to forgive your sins and give you a new heart with new desires from now on.\\nAct on that prayer by getting baptized in water(Acts 2:38)(Acts 18:8)(Acts 22:16). God's purpose for making us is so that He can demonstrate his mercy, grace, and loving kindness. Our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Embracing sin or trying to get \\\"better\\\" by yourself is a foolish attempt at ensuring the future. We often think that we can do enough good things to outweigh the bad, and God will reward us for it. But the truth is, purity and righteousness are unattainable without God's help. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. His sacrifice - of His life - was the consequence of every wrong thing we have done or will ever do. He knew we couldn't know Him through our own efforts, so He made a way for us to know Him by covering our sins with grace, on the cross.\\n1-3. In Jesus Christ, God can legally dismiss your case.\\nRepent from your sins. Repentance is a full 180degree turn from doing sin. Sin is breaking God's law. (1 John 3:4) Repentance isn't merely being sorry or guilty for sin, but it's turning away from it...God can't be mocked. God doesn't accept hypocritical repentance, thinking you can continue sinning so long as you ask for forgiveness. You will not have your sins forgiven unless you truly don't want to live wickedly anymore. Cry out to God to grant you godly sorrow, that you may turn from your sins and desire nothing but God's righteousness. Jesus paid your sin debt, He paid the fine you could not pay. The very sins you committed are the very things that crucified your Savior... you should not want anything to do with sin anymore. God will help you in your weaknesses and help you overcome evil.\\n1-4. Acknowledge God's Power to do this incredible thing, and ask Him to show you how to live His way.\\nGod's Word - the Bible - is a love letter to the world. He wants to save us from sin's condemnation, but that only comes through repentance and trust in Jesus Christ and receiving the Holy Spirit . If you don't believe God is telling the truth, you will not allow Him to guide and save you, and you'll be condemned eternally to Hell because you never had your sins forgiven and weren't born-again (made a new creation in Christ.) We are \\\"children of wrath\\\" before we come to Christ. We must be made a child of righteousness. And only the finished work of Christ on the cross can grant us that--if we trust in Him.\\n1-5. Share the Gospel of Salvation.\\nIf you are truly born again, you'll have the desire to tell others about the forgiveness available in Christ and that they can be made right with God before they die. If I love Christ, I'll obey what He commissioned all Christians to do: preach the Gospel!\\n1-6. Read your Bible and pray to God, asking Him to help you live His way.\\nBelieve the promises in the Bible. Trust what God says is true -- so that: He means what He says. Then, watch Him work in your inner-being and in your daily life as He fulfills His promises to you in response to your faith and obedience. Are you growing in the fruits of the Spirit? (See Galatians 5:22-23)\\n1-7. Be happy\\nThe Bible says that when someone who was lost is saved, all of heaven rejoices. Be thankful that God in His mercy, grace and loving kindness provided a way for you to be saved. Amazing grace truly becomes \\\"amazing grace\\\"!\\nTips\\nLet other Christians support you and find a way to support other Christians who are aiming for the same goal as you are: to honor Christ and obey his Word.\\nAs you pursue His truth by asking Him for wisdom and reading His Word, He will help you to know what it means and He will show you how to live.\\nGod always loves us so we have to love him back and ask him to forgive our sins.\\nWarnings\\nWatch out for Christians who say they love the Lord but who do things you know aren't Biblical or consistent with God's character.\\nDon't base your picture of God only on what you see in other believers. Basically don't judge Christianity based on those in the Church. There are false converts who are hypocritical and aren't born again. Judge the truth based on the actions of Jesus Christ. He fulfilled Old Testament prophecy as Messiah, and fulfilled the Law of God by perfectly keeping it. He is the only way to be saved.\\nChristians are saved sinners - When you are born-again, you attitude toward sin has changed. You now hate what you once loved. Now you desire God and what He wants. You will encounter Christians who are not spiritually mature and may be stumbling in many ways, but if they're born of God, Christ will keep them and perfect them on the day we see Him face to face.\\n\\\"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.\\\" (1 John 4:1-3) Pray to God for discernment, to tell between truth from lies. Be a Berean, examine EVERYTHING under Scripture. (Acts 17:11) The Word of God is the final authority, not what any man/woman says. Study the Word of God and memorize Scripture, it is shaper than a double-edged sword. (Heb. 4:12)\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life - and living apart from Him means that we are dead in our sins and trespasses. But if you're born-again, (literally, \\\"born from above\\\") He doesn't promise to make our lives easy. If you are a Christian, the Bible promises trials, temptations, persecutions...but having the proper understanding of what Christ did for us and how it makes it all worth it, nothing will be able to tear us apart from Him. He promises that His Spirit will live in us and guide us, and that when we die, we will be in heaven with Him. So, the question is: how can one be made right with God and escape the Judgment to come, and gain the blessings of God in Christ?\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand that you are a sinner.\", \"描述\": \"The Bible says that all of us have sinned and fall short of God's standard of righteousness. (Romans 3:23) Have you stolen? Lied? Cheated? Taken God's name in vain(blasphemy)? Thought bad thoughts? The Bible says \\\"There is not one who is good, no one is righteous.\\\" (Ps. 14) In thought, word and deed we have failed to meet up to God's standards. The Bible says our righteous deeds apart from faith are like filthy rags before God. (Isaiah 64:6) If your motivation for being \\\"good\\\" is anything other than a desire to obey and honor God, it's not enough to please Him; to be in God's presence, we must be made holy through God's grace despite our sinful nature. Understanding that you are spiritually bankrupt and have broken God's commands is the first step to realizing you need God's forgiveness. Salvation is by grace and faith alone. It cannot be earned. (See Ephesians 2:8-9)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pray, asking God to forgive your sins and give you a new heart with new desires from now on.\", \"描述\": \"Act on that prayer by getting baptized in water(Acts 2:38)(Acts 18:8)(Acts 22:16). God's purpose for making us is so that He can demonstrate his mercy, grace, and loving kindness. Our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Embracing sin or trying to get \\\"better\\\" by yourself is a foolish attempt at ensuring the future. We often think that we can do enough good things to outweigh the bad, and God will reward us for it. But the truth is, purity and righteousness are unattainable without God's help. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. His sacrifice - of His life - was the consequence of every wrong thing we have done or will ever do. He knew we couldn't know Him through our own efforts, so He made a way for us to know Him by covering our sins with grace, on the cross.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"In Jesus Christ, God can legally dismiss your case.\", \"描述\": \"Repent from your sins. Repentance is a full 180degree turn from doing sin. Sin is breaking God's law. (1 John 3:4) Repentance isn't merely being sorry or guilty for sin, but it's turning away from it...God can't be mocked. God doesn't accept hypocritical repentance, thinking you can continue sinning so long as you ask for forgiveness. You will not have your sins forgiven unless you truly don't want to live wickedly anymore. Cry out to God to grant you godly sorrow, that you may turn from your sins and desire nothing but God's righteousness. Jesus paid your sin debt, He paid the fine you could not pay. The very sins you committed are the very things that crucified your Savior... you should not want anything to do with sin anymore. God will help you in your weaknesses and help you overcome evil.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge God's Power to do this incredible thing, and ask Him to show you how to live His way.\", \"描述\": \"God's Word - the Bible - is a love letter to the world. He wants to save us from sin's condemnation, but that only comes through repentance and trust in Jesus Christ and receiving the Holy Spirit . If you don't believe God is telling the truth, you will not allow Him to guide and save you, and you'll be condemned eternally to Hell because you never had your sins forgiven and weren't born-again (made a new creation in Christ.) We are \\\"children of wrath\\\" before we come to Christ. We must be made a child of righteousness. And only the finished work of Christ on the cross can grant us that--if we trust in Him.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Share the Gospel of Salvation.\", \"描述\": \"If you are truly born again, you'll have the desire to tell others about the forgiveness available in Christ and that they can be made right with God before they die. If I love Christ, I'll obey what He commissioned all Christians to do: preach the Gospel!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Read your Bible and pray to God, asking Him to help you live His way.\", \"描述\": \"Believe the promises in the Bible. Trust what God says is true -- so that: He means what He says. Then, watch Him work in your inner-being and in your daily life as He fulfills His promises to you in response to your faith and obedience. Are you growing in the fruits of the Spirit? (See Galatians 5:22-23)\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be happy\", \"描述\": \"The Bible says that when someone who was lost is saved, all of heaven rejoices. Be thankful that God in His mercy, grace and loving kindness provided a way for you to be saved. Amazing grace truly becomes \\\"amazing grace\\\"!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Let other Christians support you and find a way to support other Christians who are aiming for the same goal as you are: to honor Christ and obey his Word.\\n\", \"As you pursue His truth by asking Him for wisdom and reading His Word, He will help you to know what it means and He will show you how to live.\\n\", \"God always loves us so we have to love him back and ask him to forgive our sins.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Watch out for Christians who say they love the Lord but who do things you know aren't Biblical or consistent with God's character.\\n\", \"Don't base your picture of God only on what you see in other believers. Basically don't judge Christianity based on those in the Church. There are false converts who are hypocritical and aren't born again. Judge the truth based on the actions of Jesus Christ. He fulfilled Old Testament prophecy as Messiah, and fulfilled the Law of God by perfectly keeping it. He is the only way to be saved.\\n\", \"Christians are saved sinners - When you are born-again, you attitude toward sin has changed. You now hate what you once loved. Now you desire God and what He wants. You will encounter Christians who are not spiritually mature and may be stumbling in many ways, but if they're born of God, Christ will keep them and perfect them on the day we see Him face to face.\\n\", \"\\\"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.\\\" (1 John 4:1-3) Pray to God for discernment, to tell between truth from lies. Be a Berean, examine EVERYTHING under Scripture. (Acts 17:11) The Word of God is the final authority, not what any man/woman says. Study the Word of God and memorize Scripture, it is shaper than a double-edged sword. (Heb. 4:12)\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
4,105 | How to Be Romantic | 1. Being Thoughtful
1-1. Leave love notes for your partner to find.
Romantic notes make your love feel special and remind them of your love. Write a short message about how you feel. Say something like, “I love you,” “Have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you,” “I’m so lucky I met you. You’re simply the best!” Put the note somewhere you know your love will see it. Here are some ideas:
Write “I love you” in the steam on the bathroom mirror or in the sand at the beach.
Place a sticky note on their dresser, the bathroom mirror, the coffee pot, or somewhere you know they’ll find it.
Put a note in their lunch, backpack, or briefcase.
Leave a note in their suitcase if they’re traveling.
Send them a love letter through the mail for a special surprise.
1-2. Send romantic texts or emails throughout your day.
While you don’t want to smother your love with constant messages, text them periodically or send an email to let them know you’re thinking of them. Don't go overboard -- just a few messages each day will get the point across.
Text them something like, “I hope your day is going well! Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you,” or “Hey hottie! How’s your afternoon going?”
You might write in an email, “Dear Mina, I’ve been thinking about how much fun we had at dinner last night. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait to see you again.”
1-3. Show physical affection to your loved one to deepen your connection.
Physical affection is more than just kissing. Give your love soft touches, hold their hand, hug them, and cuddle with them. This will build a romantic connection between you two. Here are some ways you can be more affectionate:
Hold hands on a walk or while sitting next to each other.
Cuddle up on the couch to watch TV.
Put your arm around your partner while you’re sitting together.
Kiss and hug your partner hello and goodbye.
Surprise your love with a hug from behind or a kiss on the neck (if you know they’re okay with it).
1-4. Compliment your partner every day to show you care.
Tell your partner everything you love about them so they know how special they are to you. Talk about their looks, their personality, and their accomplishments. Try to compliment them at least once a day so they know you still appreciate them. Give the compliment in person, via text, or in a note. you could say something like:
“You look beautiful today.”
“Wow, you look amazing in that suit.”
“Dinner was delicious."
"You’re such a good cook.”
“Way to go on your work project.”
1-5. Do nice things for your partner without expecting anything in return.
Show your love how much you care through your actions. Perform favors for them or surprise them with generosity, which will make them feel special. Here are some things you might do for them:
Make their coffee in the morning.
Pay for your date.
Pick up the groceries or some takeout.
Make them dinner when they’re working late.
Walk the dog or clean the cat box.
Run an errand for them.
2. Giving Romantic Gifts
2-1. Write your partner a love poem.
Express your feelings about them, reminisce about an experience you shared, or write about what you love about your partner. Don’t worry about rhyming your poem. Just explain what you feel. Here are some super cute ways to deliver the poem to your love:
Fold the poem into a heart shape before giving it to them.
Wrap the poem around a bottle of water or sparkling cider.
Put the message in a bottle for an extra special gift.
2-2. Create a love song playlist for your partner.
Curate your own playlist using your favorite digital music platform, such as Spotify, Pandora, or Apple Music. Fill your playlist with songs that are meaningful to the relationship or that remind you of the other person. They don’t have to be traditional love songs, so get creative! When you're finished, send your playlist to your love.
You could also burn your playlist to a CD if you want to go old school.
2-3. Surprise your partner with gifts you chose just for them.
Show your partner that you care by putting a lot of thought into your gifts. Choose gifts that fit your partner’s interests rather than generic gifts you might give anyone. Try these gift suggestions:
Gifts for a music lover: concert tickets, a CD or digital music gift card, or a record player with a few records.
Gifts for a sports fan: tickets to a game, a signed ball, or a cap or jersey.
Gifts for a food lover: a cookbook or cooking magazine, a gift card to a new restaurant, a fancy bottle of wine paired with delicious cheese, or special cooking supplies.
Gifts for a fashion lover: a gift card to their favorite store, a new outfit, a new pair of shoes, or fashionable accessories.
Gifts for a book lover: an e-reader, a personalized bookmark, a signed copy or first edition of a book, a gift card to a bookstore, tickets to a book reading, or a copy of a rare book.
Gifts for an outdoor lover: Outdoor clothing or gear, sunglasses, binoculars, or guidebooks for an upcoming trip.
2-4. Give your partner a massage
Get close to your partner with the power of touch. Set up a comfortable massage area on the floor or your bed. Then, apply lotion or oil to their skin so your hands slide over it easily. As you rub and knead their skin, ask your partner how they’re feeling so you can adjust your pressure and strokes to fit their preferences.
Light candles and turn off the lights so the room is dim. If your lights have a dimmer, turn down the light levels so they’re on the lowest setting.
Turn on romantic or relaxing music to make the experience even more sensual.
2-5. Make a photo album of your favorite times together.
Print out your favorite photos of you two together and make a small photo album for your loved one. You can even write funny captions for the photos in the album to make the gift more silly and meaningful. This will give them a physical reminder about how much you mean to each other.
As another option, upload your photos to a website that creates memory books. Choose a template that reminds you of your partner, then arrange your photos on the pages using their digital layout. Mail a hardcopy of the book to your love for a special surprise!
3. Arranging Romantic Dates
3-1. Surprise your partner with dates tailored to their interests.
While any date can be romantic, plan something extra special by incorporating your love’s favorite things. Take the lead sometimes and set up the date by yourself so it’s extra special for them. By surprising them, you keep the mystery alive in your relationship, which keeps it feeling new and exciting. Here are some ideas you might try:
Go to a concert at a local coffee house, park, or performance hall.
Play a romantic playlist and serve your partner a homemade meal.
Take a ceramics or painting class together.
Walk along the beach, then share a snow cone, picnic, or glass of wine.
Go for a nature hike or bike ride. Eat an outdoor picnic in a lovely spot.
Take a boat ride.
Go horseback riding.
Spend a night stargazing on a blanket. Bring a small telescope for the occasion.
Recreate your first date.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day on a random day.
3-2. Try new things together so you grow together.
Write a list of things both you and your partner want to try together, kind of like a relationship bucket list. Pick something from your list for a special date night weekly or monthly, depending on what works best for you. Doing new things together will get keep the romance alive in your relationship and helps you develop shared experiences. Here are some ideas:
Sample new restaurants or types of cuisine.
Take a class to learn a new skill, like cooking, painting, or pottery.
Go ziplining.
Bicycle around your hometown.
Hike or drive up a mountain and check out the view.
Go kayaking.
Tour a city you’ve never visited before.
3-3. Play together to infuse some fun into your relationship.
Keep your relationship exciting by acting like kids again. Life can be stressful, and your daily routine can get boring. Spice it up with a game or hobby. Don’t think — just be silly together.
Challenge your partner to a board game, snowball fight, or one-on-one tennis or basketball match.
Color in an adult coloring book or make a painting.
Build something out of legos.
Build a blanket fort.
Go on a scavenger hunt.
Chase each other with water guns or water balloons.
3-4. Do activities that raise your adrenaline to increase arousal.
Get your heart pumping by doing exhilarating activities. Adrenaline boosts arousal and makes you feel giddy. When you do these activities with a lover, those feelings are transferred to your partner, which is super romantic. Try something like these suggestions:
Take a hike.
Take a dance class, like ballroom dancing or salsa.
Go ice skating.
Go rock climbing.
Ride a roller coaster.
Go bungee jumping.
Go skydiving.
3-5. Whisk your partner off on a romantic getaway.
Spend a special weekend together on a couple’s trip to deepen your connection. Pick a place close by or switch homes with a friend for a budget-friendly option. If you can afford it, visit a winery, ski lodge, or beach town with your love.
Go on a beach getaway if you both enjoy the sun and sandy beaches.
Snuggle up in a ski resort if you want to enjoy hot drinks in front of a fire.
Go on a scenic getaway to the mountains or forest if you’re into nature.
Spend a weekend at a winery if you enjoy wine.
4. Keeping Your Relationship Strong
4-1. Say “I love you” every day so you don't lose the spark between you.
Give your partner constant reminders that you love and value them by telling them how you feel. Express your love every morning and night as a starting point. Try to build a habit of just saying “I love you” at random moments.
You might randomly text your partner, “I love you!” during the day.
Don’t assume that your partner knows you love them.
4-2. Schedule weekly date nights to keep things interesting.
Pretend you’re still in the beginning of your relationship so you don’t lose the thrill of falling in love. It’s really normal to fall into a rut when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. Fortunately, regular date nights can keep your spark alive.
For instance, you might designate every Saturday night as “date night.”
If going out is too hard, have your date night at home. Prepare a special candlelight dinner, share a bottle of wine on your porch or in your candlelit bedroom, do a movie night, or play a board game.
4-3. Be spontaneous
Let go of your schedules and responsibilities sometimes and just go with the flow. Spontaneity feels exhilarating, so it can make your relationship feel special. Don’t worry about planning ahead — just go with your gut. Here are some things you might try:
Go out on a date night in the middle of the week.
Play hooky from work and do something fun together.
Pop champagne for no reason.
Film yourself being intimate.
Surprise your partner with flowers or a treat at their workplace.
4-4. Spice things up
Keep your physical relationship hot by sharing your desires with each other and experimenting in the bedroom. Try role-playing, explore a kink, or get into a new position. Make a list of things you want to try together and enjoy checking each item off one-by-one.
If intimacy is falling by the wayside, try scheduling sex into your week so you don’t forget. It’ll give you both something to look forward to.
Only try things that both of you are interested in doing. It’s important to respect each other’s boundaries.
Tips
Don’t worry if romance feels dead in your relationship. You can always revive it!
Mix things up! Try out a variety of romantic tips to see what works for your relationship.
Listen to your partner so you can adapt to their preferences and needs.
Warnings
Respect the wishes of the person you’re trying to romance. If they ask you to stop doing something, give them some space.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:44",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Thoughtful\\n1-1. Leave love notes for your partner to find.\\nRomantic notes make your love feel special and remind them of your love. Write a short message about how you feel. Say something like, “I love you,” “Have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you,” “I’m so lucky I met you. You’re simply the best!” Put the note somewhere you know your love will see it. Here are some ideas:\\nWrite “I love you” in the steam on the bathroom mirror or in the sand at the beach.\\nPlace a sticky note on their dresser, the bathroom mirror, the coffee pot, or somewhere you know they’ll find it.\\nPut a note in their lunch, backpack, or briefcase.\\nLeave a note in their suitcase if they’re traveling.\\nSend them a love letter through the mail for a special surprise.\\n1-2. Send romantic texts or emails throughout your day.\\nWhile you don’t want to smother your love with constant messages, text them periodically or send an email to let them know you’re thinking of them. Don't go overboard -- just a few messages each day will get the point across.\\nText them something like, “I hope your day is going well! Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you,” or “Hey hottie! How’s your afternoon going?”\\nYou might write in an email, “Dear Mina, I’ve been thinking about how much fun we had at dinner last night. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait to see you again.”\\n1-3. Show physical affection to your loved one to deepen your connection.\\nPhysical affection is more than just kissing. Give your love soft touches, hold their hand, hug them, and cuddle with them. This will build a romantic connection between you two. Here are some ways you can be more affectionate:\\nHold hands on a walk or while sitting next to each other.\\nCuddle up on the couch to watch TV.\\nPut your arm around your partner while you’re sitting together.\\nKiss and hug your partner hello and goodbye.\\nSurprise your love with a hug from behind or a kiss on the neck (if you know they’re okay with it).\\n1-4. Compliment your partner every day to show you care.\\nTell your partner everything you love about them so they know how special they are to you. Talk about their looks, their personality, and their accomplishments. Try to compliment them at least once a day so they know you still appreciate them. Give the compliment in person, via text, or in a note. you could say something like:\\n“You look beautiful today.”\\n“Wow, you look amazing in that suit.”\\n“Dinner was delicious.\\\"\\n\\\"You’re such a good cook.”\\n“Way to go on your work project.”\\n1-5. Do nice things for your partner without expecting anything in return.\\nShow your love how much you care through your actions. Perform favors for them or surprise them with generosity, which will make them feel special. Here are some things you might do for them:\\nMake their coffee in the morning.\\nPay for your date.\\nPick up the groceries or some takeout.\\nMake them dinner when they’re working late.\\nWalk the dog or clean the cat box.\\nRun an errand for them.\\n2. Giving Romantic Gifts\\n2-1. Write your partner a love poem.\\nExpress your feelings about them, reminisce about an experience you shared, or write about what you love about your partner. Don’t worry about rhyming your poem. Just explain what you feel. Here are some super cute ways to deliver the poem to your love:\\n\\nFold the poem into a heart shape before giving it to them.\\nWrap the poem around a bottle of water or sparkling cider.\\nPut the message in a bottle for an extra special gift.\\n2-2. Create a love song playlist for your partner.\\nCurate your own playlist using your favorite digital music platform, such as Spotify, Pandora, or Apple Music. Fill your playlist with songs that are meaningful to the relationship or that remind you of the other person. They don’t have to be traditional love songs, so get creative! When you're finished, send your playlist to your love.\\nYou could also burn your playlist to a CD if you want to go old school.\\n2-3. Surprise your partner with gifts you chose just for them.\\nShow your partner that you care by putting a lot of thought into your gifts. Choose gifts that fit your partner’s interests rather than generic gifts you might give anyone. Try these gift suggestions:\\n\\nGifts for a music lover: concert tickets, a CD or digital music gift card, or a record player with a few records.\\nGifts for a sports fan: tickets to a game, a signed ball, or a cap or jersey.\\nGifts for a food lover: a cookbook or cooking magazine, a gift card to a new restaurant, a fancy bottle of wine paired with delicious cheese, or special cooking supplies.\\nGifts for a fashion lover: a gift card to their favorite store, a new outfit, a new pair of shoes, or fashionable accessories.\\nGifts for a book lover: an e-reader, a personalized bookmark, a signed copy or first edition of a book, a gift card to a bookstore, tickets to a book reading, or a copy of a rare book.\\nGifts for an outdoor lover: Outdoor clothing or gear, sunglasses, binoculars, or guidebooks for an upcoming trip.\\n2-4. Give your partner a massage\\nGet close to your partner with the power of touch. Set up a comfortable massage area on the floor or your bed. Then, apply lotion or oil to their skin so your hands slide over it easily. As you rub and knead their skin, ask your partner how they’re feeling so you can adjust your pressure and strokes to fit their preferences.\\nLight candles and turn off the lights so the room is dim. If your lights have a dimmer, turn down the light levels so they’re on the lowest setting.\\nTurn on romantic or relaxing music to make the experience even more sensual.\\n2-5. Make a photo album of your favorite times together.\\nPrint out your favorite photos of you two together and make a small photo album for your loved one. You can even write funny captions for the photos in the album to make the gift more silly and meaningful. This will give them a physical reminder about how much you mean to each other.\\nAs another option, upload your photos to a website that creates memory books. Choose a template that reminds you of your partner, then arrange your photos on the pages using their digital layout. Mail a hardcopy of the book to your love for a special surprise!\\n3. Arranging Romantic Dates\\n3-1. Surprise your partner with dates tailored to their interests.\\nWhile any date can be romantic, plan something extra special by incorporating your love’s favorite things. Take the lead sometimes and set up the date by yourself so it’s extra special for them. By surprising them, you keep the mystery alive in your relationship, which keeps it feeling new and exciting. Here are some ideas you might try:\\nGo to a concert at a local coffee house, park, or performance hall.\\nPlay a romantic playlist and serve your partner a homemade meal.\\nTake a ceramics or painting class together.\\nWalk along the beach, then share a snow cone, picnic, or glass of wine.\\nGo for a nature hike or bike ride. Eat an outdoor picnic in a lovely spot.\\nTake a boat ride.\\nGo horseback riding.\\nSpend a night stargazing on a blanket. Bring a small telescope for the occasion.\\nRecreate your first date.\\nCelebrate Valentine’s Day on a random day.\\n3-2. Try new things together so you grow together.\\nWrite a list of things both you and your partner want to try together, kind of like a relationship bucket list. Pick something from your list for a special date night weekly or monthly, depending on what works best for you. Doing new things together will get keep the romance alive in your relationship and helps you develop shared experiences. Here are some ideas:\\nSample new restaurants or types of cuisine.\\nTake a class to learn a new skill, like cooking, painting, or pottery.\\nGo ziplining.\\nBicycle around your hometown.\\nHike or drive up a mountain and check out the view.\\nGo kayaking.\\nTour a city you’ve never visited before.\\n3-3. Play together to infuse some fun into your relationship.\\nKeep your relationship exciting by acting like kids again. Life can be stressful, and your daily routine can get boring. Spice it up with a game or hobby. Don’t think — just be silly together.\\nChallenge your partner to a board game, snowball fight, or one-on-one tennis or basketball match.\\nColor in an adult coloring book or make a painting.\\nBuild something out of legos.\\nBuild a blanket fort.\\nGo on a scavenger hunt.\\nChase each other with water guns or water balloons.\\n3-4. Do activities that raise your adrenaline to increase arousal.\\nGet your heart pumping by doing exhilarating activities. Adrenaline boosts arousal and makes you feel giddy. When you do these activities with a lover, those feelings are transferred to your partner, which is super romantic. Try something like these suggestions:\\nTake a hike.\\nTake a dance class, like ballroom dancing or salsa.\\nGo ice skating.\\nGo rock climbing.\\nRide a roller coaster.\\nGo bungee jumping.\\nGo skydiving.\\n3-5. Whisk your partner off on a romantic getaway.\\nSpend a special weekend together on a couple’s trip to deepen your connection. Pick a place close by or switch homes with a friend for a budget-friendly option. If you can afford it, visit a winery, ski lodge, or beach town with your love.\\nGo on a beach getaway if you both enjoy the sun and sandy beaches.\\nSnuggle up in a ski resort if you want to enjoy hot drinks in front of a fire.\\nGo on a scenic getaway to the mountains or forest if you’re into nature.\\nSpend a weekend at a winery if you enjoy wine.\\n4. Keeping Your Relationship Strong\\n4-1. Say “I love you” every day so you don't lose the spark between you.\\nGive your partner constant reminders that you love and value them by telling them how you feel. Express your love every morning and night as a starting point. Try to build a habit of just saying “I love you” at random moments.\\nYou might randomly text your partner, “I love you!” during the day.\\nDon’t assume that your partner knows you love them.\\n4-2. Schedule weekly date nights to keep things interesting.\\nPretend you’re still in the beginning of your relationship so you don’t lose the thrill of falling in love. It’s really normal to fall into a rut when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. Fortunately, regular date nights can keep your spark alive.\\nFor instance, you might designate every Saturday night as “date night.”\\nIf going out is too hard, have your date night at home. Prepare a special candlelight dinner, share a bottle of wine on your porch or in your candlelit bedroom, do a movie night, or play a board game.\\n4-3. Be spontaneous\\nLet go of your schedules and responsibilities sometimes and just go with the flow. Spontaneity feels exhilarating, so it can make your relationship feel special. Don’t worry about planning ahead — just go with your gut. Here are some things you might try:\\nGo out on a date night in the middle of the week.\\nPlay hooky from work and do something fun together.\\nPop champagne for no reason.\\nFilm yourself being intimate.\\nSurprise your partner with flowers or a treat at their workplace.\\n4-4. Spice things up\\nKeep your physical relationship hot by sharing your desires with each other and experimenting in the bedroom. Try role-playing, explore a kink, or get into a new position. Make a list of things you want to try together and enjoy checking each item off one-by-one.\\nIf intimacy is falling by the wayside, try scheduling sex into your week so you don’t forget. It’ll give you both something to look forward to.\\nOnly try things that both of you are interested in doing. It’s important to respect each other’s boundaries.\\nTips\\nDon’t worry if romance feels dead in your relationship. You can always revive it!\\nMix things up! Try out a variety of romantic tips to see what works for your relationship.\\nListen to your partner so you can adapt to their preferences and needs.\\nWarnings\\nRespect the wishes of the person you’re trying to romance. If they ask you to stop doing something, give them some space.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Ooh, la la! Romance is in the air. You’re in love, and you want to show your special someone what they mean to you. Whether your relationship is new or you’ve been together for ages, you can easily make your love swoon.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Thoughtful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Leave love notes for your partner to find.\", \"描述\": \"Romantic notes make your love feel special and remind them of your love. Write a short message about how you feel. Say something like, “I love you,” “Have a wonderful day! I can’t wait to see you,” “I’m so lucky I met you. You’re simply the best!” Put the note somewhere you know your love will see it. Here are some ideas:\\nWrite “I love you” in the steam on the bathroom mirror or in the sand at the beach.\\nPlace a sticky note on their dresser, the bathroom mirror, the coffee pot, or somewhere you know they’ll find it.\\nPut a note in their lunch, backpack, or briefcase.\\nLeave a note in their suitcase if they’re traveling.\\nSend them a love letter through the mail for a special surprise.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send romantic texts or emails throughout your day.\", \"描述\": \"While you don’t want to smother your love with constant messages, text them periodically or send an email to let them know you’re thinking of them. Don't go overboard -- just a few messages each day will get the point across.\\nText them something like, “I hope your day is going well! Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you,” or “Hey hottie! How’s your afternoon going?”\\nYou might write in an email, “Dear Mina, I’ve been thinking about how much fun we had at dinner last night. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait to see you again.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show physical affection to your loved one to deepen your connection.\", \"描述\": \"Physical affection is more than just kissing. Give your love soft touches, hold their hand, hug them, and cuddle with them. This will build a romantic connection between you two. Here are some ways you can be more affectionate:\\nHold hands on a walk or while sitting next to each other.\\nCuddle up on the couch to watch TV.\\nPut your arm around your partner while you’re sitting together.\\nKiss and hug your partner hello and goodbye.\\nSurprise your love with a hug from behind or a kiss on the neck (if you know they’re okay with it).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compliment your partner every day to show you care.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your partner everything you love about them so they know how special they are to you. Talk about their looks, their personality, and their accomplishments. Try to compliment them at least once a day so they know you still appreciate them. Give the compliment in person, via text, or in a note. you could say something like:\\n“You look beautiful today.”\\n“Wow, you look amazing in that suit.”\\n“Dinner was delicious.\\\"\\n\\\"You’re such a good cook.”\\n“Way to go on your work project.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do nice things for your partner without expecting anything in return.\", \"描述\": \"Show your love how much you care through your actions. Perform favors for them or surprise them with generosity, which will make them feel special. Here are some things you might do for them:\\nMake their coffee in the morning.\\nPay for your date.\\nPick up the groceries or some takeout.\\nMake them dinner when they’re working late.\\nWalk the dog or clean the cat box.\\nRun an errand for them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Giving Romantic Gifts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write your partner a love poem.\", \"描述\": \"Express your feelings about them, reminisce about an experience you shared, or write about what you love about your partner. Don’t worry about rhyming your poem. Just explain what you feel. Here are some super cute ways to deliver the poem to your love:\\n\\nFold the poem into a heart shape before giving it to them.\\nWrap the poem around a bottle of water or sparkling cider.\\nPut the message in a bottle for an extra special gift.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a love song playlist for your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Curate your own playlist using your favorite digital music platform, such as Spotify, Pandora, or Apple Music. Fill your playlist with songs that are meaningful to the relationship or that remind you of the other person. They don’t have to be traditional love songs, so get creative! When you're finished, send your playlist to your love.\\nYou could also burn your playlist to a CD if you want to go old school.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Surprise your partner with gifts you chose just for them.\", \"描述\": \"Show your partner that you care by putting a lot of thought into your gifts. Choose gifts that fit your partner’s interests rather than generic gifts you might give anyone. Try these gift suggestions:\\n\\nGifts for a music lover: concert tickets, a CD or digital music gift card, or a record player with a few records.\\nGifts for a sports fan: tickets to a game, a signed ball, or a cap or jersey.\\nGifts for a food lover: a cookbook or cooking magazine, a gift card to a new restaurant, a fancy bottle of wine paired with delicious cheese, or special cooking supplies.\\nGifts for a fashion lover: a gift card to their favorite store, a new outfit, a new pair of shoes, or fashionable accessories.\\nGifts for a book lover: an e-reader, a personalized bookmark, a signed copy or first edition of a book, a gift card to a bookstore, tickets to a book reading, or a copy of a rare book.\\nGifts for an outdoor lover: Outdoor clothing or gear, sunglasses, binoculars, or guidebooks for an upcoming trip.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give your partner a massage\", \"描述\": \"Get close to your partner with the power of touch. Set up a comfortable massage area on the floor or your bed. Then, apply lotion or oil to their skin so your hands slide over it easily. As you rub and knead their skin, ask your partner how they’re feeling so you can adjust your pressure and strokes to fit their preferences.\\nLight candles and turn off the lights so the room is dim. If your lights have a dimmer, turn down the light levels so they’re on the lowest setting.\\nTurn on romantic or relaxing music to make the experience even more sensual.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make a photo album of your favorite times together.\", \"描述\": \"Print out your favorite photos of you two together and make a small photo album for your loved one. You can even write funny captions for the photos in the album to make the gift more silly and meaningful. This will give them a physical reminder about how much you mean to each other.\\nAs another option, upload your photos to a website that creates memory books. Choose a template that reminds you of your partner, then arrange your photos on the pages using their digital layout. Mail a hardcopy of the book to your love for a special surprise!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Arranging Romantic Dates\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Surprise your partner with dates tailored to their interests.\", \"描述\": \"While any date can be romantic, plan something extra special by incorporating your love’s favorite things. Take the lead sometimes and set up the date by yourself so it’s extra special for them. By surprising them, you keep the mystery alive in your relationship, which keeps it feeling new and exciting. Here are some ideas you might try:\\nGo to a concert at a local coffee house, park, or performance hall.\\nPlay a romantic playlist and serve your partner a homemade meal.\\nTake a ceramics or painting class together.\\nWalk along the beach, then share a snow cone, picnic, or glass of wine.\\nGo for a nature hike or bike ride. Eat an outdoor picnic in a lovely spot.\\nTake a boat ride.\\nGo horseback riding.\\nSpend a night stargazing on a blanket. Bring a small telescope for the occasion.\\nRecreate your first date.\\nCelebrate Valentine’s Day on a random day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try new things together so you grow together.\", \"描述\": \"Write a list of things both you and your partner want to try together, kind of like a relationship bucket list. Pick something from your list for a special date night weekly or monthly, depending on what works best for you. Doing new things together will get keep the romance alive in your relationship and helps you develop shared experiences. Here are some ideas:\\nSample new restaurants or types of cuisine.\\nTake a class to learn a new skill, like cooking, painting, or pottery.\\nGo ziplining.\\nBicycle around your hometown.\\nHike or drive up a mountain and check out the view.\\nGo kayaking.\\nTour a city you’ve never visited before.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Play together to infuse some fun into your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your relationship exciting by acting like kids again. Life can be stressful, and your daily routine can get boring. Spice it up with a game or hobby. Don’t think — just be silly together.\\nChallenge your partner to a board game, snowball fight, or one-on-one tennis or basketball match.\\nColor in an adult coloring book or make a painting.\\nBuild something out of legos.\\nBuild a blanket fort.\\nGo on a scavenger hunt.\\nChase each other with water guns or water balloons.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do activities that raise your adrenaline to increase arousal.\", \"描述\": \"Get your heart pumping by doing exhilarating activities. Adrenaline boosts arousal and makes you feel giddy. When you do these activities with a lover, those feelings are transferred to your partner, which is super romantic. Try something like these suggestions:\\nTake a hike.\\nTake a dance class, like ballroom dancing or salsa.\\nGo ice skating.\\nGo rock climbing.\\nRide a roller coaster.\\nGo bungee jumping.\\nGo skydiving.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Whisk your partner off on a romantic getaway.\", \"描述\": \"Spend a special weekend together on a couple’s trip to deepen your connection. Pick a place close by or switch homes with a friend for a budget-friendly option. If you can afford it, visit a winery, ski lodge, or beach town with your love.\\nGo on a beach getaway if you both enjoy the sun and sandy beaches.\\nSnuggle up in a ski resort if you want to enjoy hot drinks in front of a fire.\\nGo on a scenic getaway to the mountains or forest if you’re into nature.\\nSpend a weekend at a winery if you enjoy wine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keeping Your Relationship Strong\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say “I love you” every day so you don't lose the spark between you.\", \"描述\": \"Give your partner constant reminders that you love and value them by telling them how you feel. Express your love every morning and night as a starting point. Try to build a habit of just saying “I love you” at random moments.\\nYou might randomly text your partner, “I love you!” during the day.\\nDon’t assume that your partner knows you love them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Schedule weekly date nights to keep things interesting.\", \"描述\": \"Pretend you’re still in the beginning of your relationship so you don’t lose the thrill of falling in love. It’s really normal to fall into a rut when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile. Fortunately, regular date nights can keep your spark alive.\\nFor instance, you might designate every Saturday night as “date night.”\\nIf going out is too hard, have your date night at home. Prepare a special candlelight dinner, share a bottle of wine on your porch or in your candlelit bedroom, do a movie night, or play a board game.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be spontaneous\", \"描述\": \"Let go of your schedules and responsibilities sometimes and just go with the flow. Spontaneity feels exhilarating, so it can make your relationship feel special. Don’t worry about planning ahead — just go with your gut. Here are some things you might try:\\nGo out on a date night in the middle of the week.\\nPlay hooky from work and do something fun together.\\nPop champagne for no reason.\\nFilm yourself being intimate.\\nSurprise your partner with flowers or a treat at their workplace.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spice things up\", \"描述\": \"Keep your physical relationship hot by sharing your desires with each other and experimenting in the bedroom. Try role-playing, explore a kink, or get into a new position. Make a list of things you want to try together and enjoy checking each item off one-by-one.\\nIf intimacy is falling by the wayside, try scheduling sex into your week so you don’t forget. It’ll give you both something to look forward to.\\nOnly try things that both of you are interested in doing. It’s important to respect each other’s boundaries.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t worry if romance feels dead in your relationship. You can always revive it!\\n\", \"Mix things up! Try out a variety of romantic tips to see what works for your relationship.\\n\", \"Listen to your partner so you can adapt to their preferences and needs.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Respect the wishes of the person you’re trying to romance. If they ask you to stop doing something, give them some space.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,106 | How to Be Romantic in Bed | 1. Starting with the Basics
1-1. Snuggle with your partner to help bonding.
Snuggling is a great romantic activity and it doesn't take a lot of skill, preparation, or extra effort. It's also a great way to transition into just about any bedroom activity, from foreplay to a serious talk. Go slow on this step. Snuggle for a long time, at least 20 minutes, before moving on to other activities. Use the time instead to talk and caress their body gently, stroking their hair and running your finger along their collar-bone.
When you're snuggling is also a great time to talk about your relationship and your future, which can be really romantic for partners that have been together almost a year or more.
Really, you can talk about anything you want to talk about. However, talking about needing to go to the grocery store on Saturday isn't very romantic. Just keep that in mind.
Don’t schedule romance in bed or just outright say that you want to go have sex. Being romantic means being subtle, so you’ll need to either wait until you’re in bed as normal or find another way to get them in bed and set the tone for romance. Try flirting and then taking their hand and leading them to the bed.
1-2. Kiss or make out.
If you think you've got kissing mastered and there's no room for improvement, think again. Everyone can always stand to get better with their technique and execution can be everything. Don't discount kissing and making out: both can be very romantic. Break the mold in terms of the kisses you're giving your partner right now in favor of something new and exciting.
Get creative with your kisses. Kiss every freckle and mole. Put on lipstick and “draw” a heart with kisses. There are lots of ways to making kissing more romantic, sexy, and memorable.
1-3. Give your partner a massage.
Giving your partner a massage is a goldie but oldie when it comes to being romantic. Massages are very relaxing and a great way to lead in to other romantic activities. You don't even need to be very strong. A light touch in just the right places will still feel just as good.
Try putting a bottle of massage oil (or baby oil, if that's easier to find) in a bowl of warm water and warm up your hands before putting the oil on their skin. The warm sensations will get the massage off on the right foot.
1-4. Surprise them with what they find under your clothes.
The vast wonderland hiding under our street clothes is a space generally reserved specifically for ourselves and our partners. When you give them a treat to find under your clothes, you can really take them by surprise, especially if you're not the sort of person that usually does that kind of thing.
You can wear sexy lingerie, write a love note in permanent marker, or get creative with your shaving routine (turning your pubic or chest hair into a heart shape, for example, but admittedly not for everyone).
This means you’re going to want to go the extra length on your clothes and underwear too. Pass on the ratty stuff with holes and stains and go for something that’s appropriate for the mood.
1-5. Partake in some partner-focused foreplay.
If you've not been partaking in foreplay up to this point, now is the best time to start. If your foreplay has been a little...one-sided, now is the time to turn the tables. By throwing all of your attention into your partner's pleasure, you'll really grab their attention. And their gratitude.
If you are a guy, try to turn your girl on. A good form of foreplay for women is oral sex, since this is the most effective form of stimulation for her anatomy.
If you are a girl, try to turn your boyfriend on. A good option for turning your guy on is wearing sexy underwear and letting him discover it slowly, like unwrapping a Christmas present.
2. Learning What to Say
2-1. Be open about your feelings.
The best place to start is by just telling your partner how you feel. You don't need to worry about being really eloquent or coming across as cheesy. As long as you speak from the heart and are honest about your feelings, your partner will be very touched. Tell them what they mean to you and what your life feels like when they're in it. This will make them feel great and help set a really romantic mood.
For example, you can say something like, "When I'm with you everything feels like coming home after being completely lost. When I'm with you, I feel like I have my compass. I'll never be lost again."
2-2. Borrow the words of others.
You can also try the traditional route and use romantic songs, poems, and quotes to get them feeling all warm and fuzzy. This works particularly well if you use words from something that means a lot to them. Quoting one of their favorite romantic moments from a movie, memorizing their favorite poem, or singing them their favorite love song are all great ways to get your romance on. Just be careful not to be cheesy!
Good classic poems to recite include Shakespeare's "Sonnet 116" or E.E. Cummings "somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond".
2-3. Talk about the things that you want for your partner.
Talking about all the good things that you want for your partner gives you a great way to express your love in a way that really puts the focus on them. This is very romantic and will warm their heart with feelings of love and affection.
You can talk about how much you want them to achieve their dream or how much you want them to not have to worry about the things that they struggle with right now.
For example, you can say something like, "I really want you to be able to travel the world and see all the things you're always telling me about...and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure you get that chance."
2-4. Tell them how sexy they are.
Telling your partner just how sexy they are can be hugely romantic. It's especially important when your partner doesn't really see themselves as a sexual creature or someone that's desirable, because when you show them that you do think of them this way then they start to feel better about themselves. By showing them how sexy you think they are, they'll become more comfortable and have a better time in the bedroom.
Say something like, "You look so hot like that. I feel like a teenager again..."
2-5. Talk sexy and dirty.
We tend to write off sexy talk as not being very romantic but it certainly can be. Talking dirty and sexy opens up boundaries and brings the two of you closer together by giving you an easy way to talk about what you like and what you want. This can be key to making a relationship more fulfilling and longer-lasting.
Say something like, "I love it when you do that with your tongue..."
3. Getting Creative
3-1. Transform your bedroom into a getaway.
You can really knock your partner off their feet by transforming your bedroom into a romantic getaway. This is a great option for birthdays and anniversaries, but also as a "just because" gesture. Bring out the flower petals and scented candles for a traditional look or you can use props and decorations to create a theme.
For example, you can get incense, fabrics, pillows, and maybe a quick new coat of paint to give a room an Indian makeover before you show your partner just how much you can both learn from the Kama Sutra. You can also set a soundtrack to further the scene. Try anything by Ravi Shankar or try Anoushka Shankar if you want something a little more modern and sexy.
You can also buy fancy fabric to drape and hang from the ceiling and walls, transforming an unromantic room into a plush love-den.
3-2. Get some chocolate body paint.
Chocolate body paint is a great way to get romantic (and delicious) with your partner. This body paint, easily picked up from sex shops or online retailers, lets you write love notes and play games using your skin and your tongue!
You can even make chocolate body paint yourself at home.
3-3. Feed your partner.
Set up a sexy picnic in your bed with lots of foods that are fun to feed your partner. You can spoil them with peeled grapes, chocolate dipped strawberries, or spicy chocolates. Take turns feeding each other while you listen to sexy music. Before you know it, you'll be ready to eat each other up instead.
3-4. Set up a mini movie theater.
Going to the movies is romantic but going to the movies by yourselves is even more romantic. However, not everyone can afford to rent out a whole theater for a single date. Skip the price tag and set up a theater in your bed instead. Drag the TV into your room or use a computer or laptop as your movie screen. Set everything up with popcorn and a candy stand, so that your partner feels like they're going to see a real movie.
It's a good idea to try to choose a movie which has significance to the two of you. Try to track down the first movie you ever saw together, for example.
3-5. Set up a photo shoot.
A unique way to get romantic in the bedroom is with couples photography or couples erotic photography. This is where you get pictures taken of you in the bedroom, in a romantic setting. This may include the two of you naked or even fully clothed. It's up to you but having sexy, romantic pictures of each other will be great to gave around. It also creates associations in your mind, between being in your bed and the excitement and feelings of the photo shoot.
You can find photographers that specialize in this kind of photography or you can do it yourself. Of course, it will be hard to get pictures of the two of you together that way but you can take lots of sexy pictures of each other without the discomfort of having another person in the room.
Tips
Cuddle up afterward.
Kiss your partner while he or she is talking.
Clean the bedroom and make the bed. Also, dim the lights.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting with the Basics\\n1-1. Snuggle with your partner to help bonding.\\nSnuggling is a great romantic activity and it doesn't take a lot of skill, preparation, or extra effort. It's also a great way to transition into just about any bedroom activity, from foreplay to a serious talk. Go slow on this step. Snuggle for a long time, at least 20 minutes, before moving on to other activities. Use the time instead to talk and caress their body gently, stroking their hair and running your finger along their collar-bone.\\nWhen you're snuggling is also a great time to talk about your relationship and your future, which can be really romantic for partners that have been together almost a year or more.\\nReally, you can talk about anything you want to talk about. However, talking about needing to go to the grocery store on Saturday isn't very romantic. Just keep that in mind.\\nDon’t schedule romance in bed or just outright say that you want to go have sex. Being romantic means being subtle, so you’ll need to either wait until you’re in bed as normal or find another way to get them in bed and set the tone for romance. Try flirting and then taking their hand and leading them to the bed.\\n1-2. Kiss or make out.\\nIf you think you've got kissing mastered and there's no room for improvement, think again. Everyone can always stand to get better with their technique and execution can be everything. Don't discount kissing and making out: both can be very romantic. Break the mold in terms of the kisses you're giving your partner right now in favor of something new and exciting.\\nGet creative with your kisses. Kiss every freckle and mole. Put on lipstick and “draw” a heart with kisses. There are lots of ways to making kissing more romantic, sexy, and memorable.\\n1-3. Give your partner a massage.\\nGiving your partner a massage is a goldie but oldie when it comes to being romantic. Massages are very relaxing and a great way to lead in to other romantic activities. You don't even need to be very strong. A light touch in just the right places will still feel just as good.\\nTry putting a bottle of massage oil (or baby oil, if that's easier to find) in a bowl of warm water and warm up your hands before putting the oil on their skin. The warm sensations will get the massage off on the right foot.\\n1-4. Surprise them with what they find under your clothes.\\nThe vast wonderland hiding under our street clothes is a space generally reserved specifically for ourselves and our partners. When you give them a treat to find under your clothes, you can really take them by surprise, especially if you're not the sort of person that usually does that kind of thing.\\nYou can wear sexy lingerie, write a love note in permanent marker, or get creative with your shaving routine (turning your pubic or chest hair into a heart shape, for example, but admittedly not for everyone).\\nThis means you’re going to want to go the extra length on your clothes and underwear too. Pass on the ratty stuff with holes and stains and go for something that’s appropriate for the mood.\\n1-5. Partake in some partner-focused foreplay.\\nIf you've not been partaking in foreplay up to this point, now is the best time to start. If your foreplay has been a little...one-sided, now is the time to turn the tables. By throwing all of your attention into your partner's pleasure, you'll really grab their attention. And their gratitude.\\nIf you are a guy, try to turn your girl on. A good form of foreplay for women is oral sex, since this is the most effective form of stimulation for her anatomy.\\nIf you are a girl, try to turn your boyfriend on. A good option for turning your guy on is wearing sexy underwear and letting him discover it slowly, like unwrapping a Christmas present.\\n2. Learning What to Say\\n2-1. Be open about your feelings.\\nThe best place to start is by just telling your partner how you feel. You don't need to worry about being really eloquent or coming across as cheesy. As long as you speak from the heart and are honest about your feelings, your partner will be very touched. Tell them what they mean to you and what your life feels like when they're in it. This will make them feel great and help set a really romantic mood.\\nFor example, you can say something like, \\\"When I'm with you everything feels like coming home after being completely lost. When I'm with you, I feel like I have my compass. I'll never be lost again.\\\"\\n2-2. Borrow the words of others.\\nYou can also try the traditional route and use romantic songs, poems, and quotes to get them feeling all warm and fuzzy. This works particularly well if you use words from something that means a lot to them. Quoting one of their favorite romantic moments from a movie, memorizing their favorite poem, or singing them their favorite love song are all great ways to get your romance on. Just be careful not to be cheesy!\\nGood classic poems to recite include Shakespeare's \\\"Sonnet 116\\\" or E.E. Cummings \\\"somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond\\\".\\n2-3. Talk about the things that you want for your partner.\\nTalking about all the good things that you want for your partner gives you a great way to express your love in a way that really puts the focus on them. This is very romantic and will warm their heart with feelings of love and affection.\\nYou can talk about how much you want them to achieve their dream or how much you want them to not have to worry about the things that they struggle with right now.\\nFor example, you can say something like, \\\"I really want you to be able to travel the world and see all the things you're always telling me about...and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure you get that chance.\\\"\\n2-4. Tell them how sexy they are.\\nTelling your partner just how sexy they are can be hugely romantic. It's especially important when your partner doesn't really see themselves as a sexual creature or someone that's desirable, because when you show them that you do think of them this way then they start to feel better about themselves. By showing them how sexy you think they are, they'll become more comfortable and have a better time in the bedroom.\\nSay something like, \\\"You look so hot like that. I feel like a teenager again...\\\"\\n2-5. Talk sexy and dirty.\\nWe tend to write off sexy talk as not being very romantic but it certainly can be. Talking dirty and sexy opens up boundaries and brings the two of you closer together by giving you an easy way to talk about what you like and what you want. This can be key to making a relationship more fulfilling and longer-lasting.\\nSay something like, \\\"I love it when you do that with your tongue...\\\"\\n3. Getting Creative\\n3-1. Transform your bedroom into a getaway.\\nYou can really knock your partner off their feet by transforming your bedroom into a romantic getaway. This is a great option for birthdays and anniversaries, but also as a \\\"just because\\\" gesture. Bring out the flower petals and scented candles for a traditional look or you can use props and decorations to create a theme.\\nFor example, you can get incense, fabrics, pillows, and maybe a quick new coat of paint to give a room an Indian makeover before you show your partner just how much you can both learn from the Kama Sutra. You can also set a soundtrack to further the scene. Try anything by Ravi Shankar or try Anoushka Shankar if you want something a little more modern and sexy.\\nYou can also buy fancy fabric to drape and hang from the ceiling and walls, transforming an unromantic room into a plush love-den.\\n3-2. Get some chocolate body paint.\\nChocolate body paint is a great way to get romantic (and delicious) with your partner. This body paint, easily picked up from sex shops or online retailers, lets you write love notes and play games using your skin and your tongue!\\nYou can even make chocolate body paint yourself at home.\\n3-3. Feed your partner.\\nSet up a sexy picnic in your bed with lots of foods that are fun to feed your partner. You can spoil them with peeled grapes, chocolate dipped strawberries, or spicy chocolates. Take turns feeding each other while you listen to sexy music. Before you know it, you'll be ready to eat each other up instead.\\n3-4. Set up a mini movie theater.\\nGoing to the movies is romantic but going to the movies by yourselves is even more romantic. However, not everyone can afford to rent out a whole theater for a single date. Skip the price tag and set up a theater in your bed instead. Drag the TV into your room or use a computer or laptop as your movie screen. Set everything up with popcorn and a candy stand, so that your partner feels like they're going to see a real movie.\\nIt's a good idea to try to choose a movie which has significance to the two of you. Try to track down the first movie you ever saw together, for example.\\n3-5. Set up a photo shoot.\\nA unique way to get romantic in the bedroom is with couples photography or couples erotic photography. This is where you get pictures taken of you in the bedroom, in a romantic setting. This may include the two of you naked or even fully clothed. It's up to you but having sexy, romantic pictures of each other will be great to gave around. It also creates associations in your mind, between being in your bed and the excitement and feelings of the photo shoot.\\nYou can find photographers that specialize in this kind of photography or you can do it yourself. Of course, it will be hard to get pictures of the two of you together that way but you can take lots of sexy pictures of each other without the discomfort of having another person in the room.\\nTips\\nCuddle up afterward.\\nKiss your partner while he or she is talking.\\nClean the bedroom and make the bed. Also, dim the lights.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Everybody likes a little romance. This is great for a relationship, bringing you closer to each other, and it opens opportunities for you and your partner to get to know each other better too. Being more romantic isn't hard either and good results can come from adding in just a few basic moves.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting with the Basics\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Snuggle with your partner to help bonding.\", \"描述\": \"Snuggling is a great romantic activity and it doesn't take a lot of skill, preparation, or extra effort. It's also a great way to transition into just about any bedroom activity, from foreplay to a serious talk. Go slow on this step. Snuggle for a long time, at least 20 minutes, before moving on to other activities. Use the time instead to talk and caress their body gently, stroking their hair and running your finger along their collar-bone.\\nWhen you're snuggling is also a great time to talk about your relationship and your future, which can be really romantic for partners that have been together almost a year or more.\\nReally, you can talk about anything you want to talk about. However, talking about needing to go to the grocery store on Saturday isn't very romantic. Just keep that in mind.\\nDon’t schedule romance in bed or just outright say that you want to go have sex. Being romantic means being subtle, so you’ll need to either wait until you’re in bed as normal or find another way to get them in bed and set the tone for romance. Try flirting and then taking their hand and leading them to the bed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Kiss or make out.\", \"描述\": \"If you think you've got kissing mastered and there's no room for improvement, think again. Everyone can always stand to get better with their technique and execution can be everything. Don't discount kissing and making out: both can be very romantic. Break the mold in terms of the kisses you're giving your partner right now in favor of something new and exciting.\\nGet creative with your kisses. Kiss every freckle and mole. Put on lipstick and “draw” a heart with kisses. There are lots of ways to making kissing more romantic, sexy, and memorable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give your partner a massage.\", \"描述\": \"Giving your partner a massage is a goldie but oldie when it comes to being romantic. Massages are very relaxing and a great way to lead in to other romantic activities. You don't even need to be very strong. A light touch in just the right places will still feel just as good.\\nTry putting a bottle of massage oil (or baby oil, if that's easier to find) in a bowl of warm water and warm up your hands before putting the oil on their skin. The warm sensations will get the massage off on the right foot.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Surprise them with what they find under your clothes.\", \"描述\": \"The vast wonderland hiding under our street clothes is a space generally reserved specifically for ourselves and our partners. When you give them a treat to find under your clothes, you can really take them by surprise, especially if you're not the sort of person that usually does that kind of thing.\\nYou can wear sexy lingerie, write a love note in permanent marker, or get creative with your shaving routine (turning your pubic or chest hair into a heart shape, for example, but admittedly not for everyone).\\nThis means you’re going to want to go the extra length on your clothes and underwear too. Pass on the ratty stuff with holes and stains and go for something that’s appropriate for the mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Partake in some partner-focused foreplay.\", \"描述\": \"If you've not been partaking in foreplay up to this point, now is the best time to start. If your foreplay has been a little...one-sided, now is the time to turn the tables. By throwing all of your attention into your partner's pleasure, you'll really grab their attention. And their gratitude.\\nIf you are a guy, try to turn your girl on. A good form of foreplay for women is oral sex, since this is the most effective form of stimulation for her anatomy.\\nIf you are a girl, try to turn your boyfriend on. A good option for turning your guy on is wearing sexy underwear and letting him discover it slowly, like unwrapping a Christmas present.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning What to Say\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be open about your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"The best place to start is by just telling your partner how you feel. You don't need to worry about being really eloquent or coming across as cheesy. As long as you speak from the heart and are honest about your feelings, your partner will be very touched. Tell them what they mean to you and what your life feels like when they're in it. This will make them feel great and help set a really romantic mood.\\nFor example, you can say something like, \\\"When I'm with you everything feels like coming home after being completely lost. When I'm with you, I feel like I have my compass. I'll never be lost again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Borrow the words of others.\", \"描述\": \"You can also try the traditional route and use romantic songs, poems, and quotes to get them feeling all warm and fuzzy. This works particularly well if you use words from something that means a lot to them. Quoting one of their favorite romantic moments from a movie, memorizing their favorite poem, or singing them their favorite love song are all great ways to get your romance on. Just be careful not to be cheesy!\\nGood classic poems to recite include Shakespeare's \\\"Sonnet 116\\\" or E.E. Cummings \\\"somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about the things that you want for your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about all the good things that you want for your partner gives you a great way to express your love in a way that really puts the focus on them. This is very romantic and will warm their heart with feelings of love and affection.\\nYou can talk about how much you want them to achieve their dream or how much you want them to not have to worry about the things that they struggle with right now.\\nFor example, you can say something like, \\\"I really want you to be able to travel the world and see all the things you're always telling me about...and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure you get that chance.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell them how sexy they are.\", \"描述\": \"Telling your partner just how sexy they are can be hugely romantic. It's especially important when your partner doesn't really see themselves as a sexual creature or someone that's desirable, because when you show them that you do think of them this way then they start to feel better about themselves. By showing them how sexy you think they are, they'll become more comfortable and have a better time in the bedroom.\\nSay something like, \\\"You look so hot like that. I feel like a teenager again...\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk sexy and dirty.\", \"描述\": \"We tend to write off sexy talk as not being very romantic but it certainly can be. Talking dirty and sexy opens up boundaries and brings the two of you closer together by giving you an easy way to talk about what you like and what you want. This can be key to making a relationship more fulfilling and longer-lasting.\\nSay something like, \\\"I love it when you do that with your tongue...\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting Creative\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Transform your bedroom into a getaway.\", \"描述\": \"You can really knock your partner off their feet by transforming your bedroom into a romantic getaway. This is a great option for birthdays and anniversaries, but also as a \\\"just because\\\" gesture. Bring out the flower petals and scented candles for a traditional look or you can use props and decorations to create a theme.\\nFor example, you can get incense, fabrics, pillows, and maybe a quick new coat of paint to give a room an Indian makeover before you show your partner just how much you can both learn from the Kama Sutra. You can also set a soundtrack to further the scene. Try anything by Ravi Shankar or try Anoushka Shankar if you want something a little more modern and sexy.\\nYou can also buy fancy fabric to drape and hang from the ceiling and walls, transforming an unromantic room into a plush love-den.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get some chocolate body paint.\", \"描述\": \"Chocolate body paint is a great way to get romantic (and delicious) with your partner. This body paint, easily picked up from sex shops or online retailers, lets you write love notes and play games using your skin and your tongue!\\nYou can even make chocolate body paint yourself at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Feed your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Set up a sexy picnic in your bed with lots of foods that are fun to feed your partner. You can spoil them with peeled grapes, chocolate dipped strawberries, or spicy chocolates. Take turns feeding each other while you listen to sexy music. Before you know it, you'll be ready to eat each other up instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set up a mini movie theater.\", \"描述\": \"Going to the movies is romantic but going to the movies by yourselves is even more romantic. However, not everyone can afford to rent out a whole theater for a single date. Skip the price tag and set up a theater in your bed instead. Drag the TV into your room or use a computer or laptop as your movie screen. Set everything up with popcorn and a candy stand, so that your partner feels like they're going to see a real movie.\\nIt's a good idea to try to choose a movie which has significance to the two of you. Try to track down the first movie you ever saw together, for example.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set up a photo shoot.\", \"描述\": \"A unique way to get romantic in the bedroom is with couples photography or couples erotic photography. This is where you get pictures taken of you in the bedroom, in a romantic setting. This may include the two of you naked or even fully clothed. It's up to you but having sexy, romantic pictures of each other will be great to gave around. It also creates associations in your mind, between being in your bed and the excitement and feelings of the photo shoot.\\nYou can find photographers that specialize in this kind of photography or you can do it yourself. Of course, it will be hard to get pictures of the two of you together that way but you can take lots of sexy pictures of each other without the discomfort of having another person in the room.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Cuddle up afterward.\\n\", \"Kiss your partner while he or she is talking.\\n\", \"Clean the bedroom and make the bed. Also, dim the lights.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,107 | How to Be Romantic on the Phone | 1. Having Romantic Conversations
1-1. Tell your partner what you like.
Want to romance your partner on the phone? Compliment them. Tell them you can't stop thinking about something that you like in particular. Compliment something specific and unique to your partner.
Compliment their personality. Say, "I love talking to you. You always crack me up."
Compliment their looks. Say, "I can't stop thinking about your eyes. Miss you."
Compliment their talents. Say, "You kiss me so well, it's driving me crazy that I can't do it right now."
1-2. Plan dates
If you can't be together right now, the least you can do is plan what you'll do when you're together in the future. Talk about dates that you'd like to go on, both exotic and local.
Plan a dream vacation together on the phone and let yourselves dream a little. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? The beach? A cruise? The mountains? Plan it all out.
Plan some everyday dates as well. Talk about how you want to hit up the restaurant around the corner and snuggle in on the couch. Just talk about your lives together.
One good way of ramping up the sexual tension is to talk about what you'll do later tonight. Tell your lover exactly what you plan on doing. In detail.
1-3. Talk about great times you've had together.
Another good way to spend your quality phone time together is to reminisce. Talk about the great dates you've been on before, or the great things that you've done together.
Talk about the first time you met, or the first thing that you noticed about your partner. It's always good to remember the early stages of your relationship together.
Another great way to build the sexual tension? Reminisce about the things you did a few nights ago. Tell your partner what mind-blowing moves they have, to be sure they get repeated.
1-4. Fantasize together.
Sometimes, the phone can be a great opportunity to talk about things that you might normally find it awkward to talk about in person. If you're chatting on the phone, it might be easier to engage in a little risqué chat about your sex life. Talk about things you want to explore with your partner, and talk about what turns you on.
If you're not sexually active yet, and even if you are, having phone sex can be a new outlet to explore together.
1-5. Set regular phone dates.
If you have to be apart regularly, it's a good idea to have a regular phone date at a set time, so you can still feel like you've got quality time that you're spending together. Set a half hour or an hour each day so you can catch each other up on your days, talk about the future, and spend a little time talking.
You might want to talk every day, or you might not. If you have to be apart for long periods of time, talk with your partner to find out how much phone conversing you both need.
1-6. Do something together on the phone.
One great way to spend a phone date is to make a plan to do the same activity while you're talking on the phone together. Plan a fun and easy activity that you can do around the house, and just chat on the speaker phone while you do it. It'll be almost like you're together, even if you're not.
Watch the same episode of your favorite TV show, or a big game, and talk about it while you're on the phone. Cue up your favorite movie. Even if you have to be quiet most of the time, it'll be almost like you're together.
Try out a recipe together and try to make it at the same time. Talk each other through it and laugh at your successes and failures. Text each other pictures of the end results when you're done and see who made it better.
If you can, Skype or other video-chatting makes this even better. Even if you're not saying anything, it'll be like you're in the room together.
1-7. Just be together on the phone.
Even if there's really nothing to talk about, just having your partner on the line can be a romantic gesture. Even if there are long periods of silence, it can be comforting and romantic to know that you're both together, even though you might be miles apart. Talk before you fall asleep and keep the phone on your pillow.
Make sure you're in the same network if you're going to spend loads of time just listening to each other breathe. This can be a romantic gesture, or just a huge waste of money and minutes.
2. Sending Romantic Texts
2-1. Let your partner know you're thinking of them throughout the day.
If you have to be apart and can't have an actual phone conversation, just sending a short "Thinking of you" text can be great way to remind your partner that you care. Here are a few romantic texts you can send through the day:
"You looked beautiful this morning. Can't get you out of my head."
"Can't wait to see you later today! Counting the minutes."
"Guy at work keeps talking about his cats. Miss you."
"I've been thinking about last night all day. Can't wait to do that again."
2-2. Encourage your partner through the day.
If you know your partner's going to have a rough day at work or school, send them encouragement throughout the day. This helps to remind your partner that you're in their corner, and that you care about them. Be a helpful voice with the following kinds of texts:
"You're going to kill that presentation, I just know it. Good luck!"
"Good luck with the test! Thinking of you!"
"Only three more hours left till you get to come home."
"It's almost Friday! You can do it!"
2-3. Update each other on how things are going.
When you're apart throughout the day, it's always nice to know what your partner is up to. Ask for updates on how they're doing and let your partner know how your day is going as well, with a reasonable number of text messages. Just keep each other up to date:
"Just finished my essay. Yikes. At least it's done? Can't wait to see you tonight and blow off some steam..."
"It's such a beautiful day on campus! Flowers! Birds! Wish you were here to see it."
"I got to work and Jim had eaten the last donut and drank the last of the coffee and now I'm just looking at Buzzfeed and wasting time. What are you doing?"
"Everyone on the train looks grim this morning. Monday. How's yours going?"
2-4. Plan a date on the fly.
When you're out and about and a date occurs to you, send a quick text to your partner to see if they'll be up for it. This is usually good for dates with someone that you've had dates before, not a first date. It's an easy and quick way to get in touch and plan something:
"When you get home from work, I'll bring you pizza?"
"I'm downtown later. Meet me for a drink at our spot?"
"I'm having the worst day. Here's what I'm thinking for later: You. Me. Some wine. A dark room....and Empire Strikes Back on the new Blu-Ray. Yes?"
"It's a beautiful day. Let's meet in the park and go for a walk!"
2-5. Send pictures.
If you're looking good, send your partner a picture to let them drool. If you see something funny while you're walking around, send it to your partner to let them laugh with you. Sending pictures can be a fun, easy, and quick way to keep in touch without having to do a whole lot of work.
Be careful with sending picture messages that are x-rated. Make sure you know and trust the person you send pictures to, and remember that it's never romantic to send unsolicited naked pictures, and it can be dangerous.
2-6. Send texts sparingly.
A few texts a day can be great, but make sure you save some stuff to talk about in real life, too. Your dates might get kind of slow if you blow it all talking via text. Some people will enjoy sending hundreds of text messages a day, while others will be annoyed by the constant contact. Every relationship will be different. Find out about how much your partner texts and try to keep it within bounds. Don't annoy each other.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having Romantic Conversations\\n1-1. Tell your partner what you like.\\nWant to romance your partner on the phone? Compliment them. Tell them you can't stop thinking about something that you like in particular. Compliment something specific and unique to your partner.\\nCompliment their personality. Say, \\\"I love talking to you. You always crack me up.\\\"\\nCompliment their looks. Say, \\\"I can't stop thinking about your eyes. Miss you.\\\"\\nCompliment their talents. Say, \\\"You kiss me so well, it's driving me crazy that I can't do it right now.\\\"\\n1-2. Plan dates\\nIf you can't be together right now, the least you can do is plan what you'll do when you're together in the future. Talk about dates that you'd like to go on, both exotic and local.\\nPlan a dream vacation together on the phone and let yourselves dream a little. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? The beach? A cruise? The mountains? Plan it all out.\\nPlan some everyday dates as well. Talk about how you want to hit up the restaurant around the corner and snuggle in on the couch. Just talk about your lives together.\\nOne good way of ramping up the sexual tension is to talk about what you'll do later tonight. Tell your lover exactly what you plan on doing. In detail.\\n1-3. Talk about great times you've had together.\\nAnother good way to spend your quality phone time together is to reminisce. Talk about the great dates you've been on before, or the great things that you've done together.\\nTalk about the first time you met, or the first thing that you noticed about your partner. It's always good to remember the early stages of your relationship together.\\nAnother great way to build the sexual tension? Reminisce about the things you did a few nights ago. Tell your partner what mind-blowing moves they have, to be sure they get repeated.\\n1-4. Fantasize together.\\nSometimes, the phone can be a great opportunity to talk about things that you might normally find it awkward to talk about in person. If you're chatting on the phone, it might be easier to engage in a little risqué chat about your sex life. Talk about things you want to explore with your partner, and talk about what turns you on.\\nIf you're not sexually active yet, and even if you are, having phone sex can be a new outlet to explore together.\\n1-5. Set regular phone dates.\\nIf you have to be apart regularly, it's a good idea to have a regular phone date at a set time, so you can still feel like you've got quality time that you're spending together. Set a half hour or an hour each day so you can catch each other up on your days, talk about the future, and spend a little time talking.\\nYou might want to talk every day, or you might not. If you have to be apart for long periods of time, talk with your partner to find out how much phone conversing you both need.\\n1-6. Do something together on the phone.\\nOne great way to spend a phone date is to make a plan to do the same activity while you're talking on the phone together. Plan a fun and easy activity that you can do around the house, and just chat on the speaker phone while you do it. It'll be almost like you're together, even if you're not.\\n\\nWatch the same episode of your favorite TV show, or a big game, and talk about it while you're on the phone. Cue up your favorite movie. Even if you have to be quiet most of the time, it'll be almost like you're together.\\nTry out a recipe together and try to make it at the same time. Talk each other through it and laugh at your successes and failures. Text each other pictures of the end results when you're done and see who made it better.\\nIf you can, Skype or other video-chatting makes this even better. Even if you're not saying anything, it'll be like you're in the room together.\\n1-7. Just be together on the phone.\\nEven if there's really nothing to talk about, just having your partner on the line can be a romantic gesture. Even if there are long periods of silence, it can be comforting and romantic to know that you're both together, even though you might be miles apart. Talk before you fall asleep and keep the phone on your pillow.\\nMake sure you're in the same network if you're going to spend loads of time just listening to each other breathe. This can be a romantic gesture, or just a huge waste of money and minutes.\\n2. Sending Romantic Texts\\n2-1. Let your partner know you're thinking of them throughout the day.\\nIf you have to be apart and can't have an actual phone conversation, just sending a short \\\"Thinking of you\\\" text can be great way to remind your partner that you care. Here are a few romantic texts you can send through the day:\\n\\\"You looked beautiful this morning. Can't get you out of my head.\\\"\\n\\\"Can't wait to see you later today! Counting the minutes.\\\"\\n\\\"Guy at work keeps talking about his cats. Miss you.\\\"\\n\\\"I've been thinking about last night all day. Can't wait to do that again.\\\"\\n2-2. Encourage your partner through the day.\\nIf you know your partner's going to have a rough day at work or school, send them encouragement throughout the day. This helps to remind your partner that you're in their corner, and that you care about them. Be a helpful voice with the following kinds of texts:\\n\\\"You're going to kill that presentation, I just know it. Good luck!\\\"\\n\\\"Good luck with the test! Thinking of you!\\\"\\n\\\"Only three more hours left till you get to come home.\\\"\\n\\\"It's almost Friday! You can do it!\\\"\\n2-3. Update each other on how things are going.\\nWhen you're apart throughout the day, it's always nice to know what your partner is up to. Ask for updates on how they're doing and let your partner know how your day is going as well, with a reasonable number of text messages. Just keep each other up to date:\\n\\\"Just finished my essay. Yikes. At least it's done? Can't wait to see you tonight and blow off some steam...\\\"\\n\\\"It's such a beautiful day on campus! Flowers! Birds! Wish you were here to see it.\\\"\\n\\\"I got to work and Jim had eaten the last donut and drank the last of the coffee and now I'm just looking at Buzzfeed and wasting time. What are you doing?\\\"\\n\\\"Everyone on the train looks grim this morning. Monday. How's yours going?\\\"\\n2-4. Plan a date on the fly.\\nWhen you're out and about and a date occurs to you, send a quick text to your partner to see if they'll be up for it. This is usually good for dates with someone that you've had dates before, not a first date. It's an easy and quick way to get in touch and plan something:\\n\\\"When you get home from work, I'll bring you pizza?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm downtown later. Meet me for a drink at our spot?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm having the worst day. Here's what I'm thinking for later: You. Me. Some wine. A dark room....and Empire Strikes Back on the new Blu-Ray. Yes?\\\"\\n\\\"It's a beautiful day. Let's meet in the park and go for a walk!\\\"\\n2-5. Send pictures.\\nIf you're looking good, send your partner a picture to let them drool. If you see something funny while you're walking around, send it to your partner to let them laugh with you. Sending pictures can be a fun, easy, and quick way to keep in touch without having to do a whole lot of work.\\nBe careful with sending picture messages that are x-rated. Make sure you know and trust the person you send pictures to, and remember that it's never romantic to send unsolicited naked pictures, and it can be dangerous.\\n2-6. Send texts sparingly.\\nA few texts a day can be great, but make sure you save some stuff to talk about in real life, too. Your dates might get kind of slow if you blow it all talking via text. Some people will enjoy sending hundreds of text messages a day, while others will be annoyed by the constant contact. Every relationship will be different. Find out about how much your partner texts and try to keep it within bounds. Don't annoy each other.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want to have a romantic conversation but aren't quite sure what to say? Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just want to turn up the heat with your crush, you're in the right place. We've got all the best tips on how to talk romantically over the phone. Plus, we'll teach you how to send flirty texts that'll keep your SO coming back for more.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having Romantic Conversations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your partner what you like.\", \"描述\": \"Want to romance your partner on the phone? Compliment them. Tell them you can't stop thinking about something that you like in particular. Compliment something specific and unique to your partner.\\nCompliment their personality. Say, \\\"I love talking to you. You always crack me up.\\\"\\nCompliment their looks. Say, \\\"I can't stop thinking about your eyes. Miss you.\\\"\\nCompliment their talents. Say, \\\"You kiss me so well, it's driving me crazy that I can't do it right now.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan dates\", \"描述\": \"If you can't be together right now, the least you can do is plan what you'll do when you're together in the future. Talk about dates that you'd like to go on, both exotic and local.\\nPlan a dream vacation together on the phone and let yourselves dream a little. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? The beach? A cruise? The mountains? Plan it all out.\\nPlan some everyday dates as well. Talk about how you want to hit up the restaurant around the corner and snuggle in on the couch. Just talk about your lives together.\\nOne good way of ramping up the sexual tension is to talk about what you'll do later tonight. Tell your lover exactly what you plan on doing. In detail.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about great times you've had together.\", \"描述\": \"Another good way to spend your quality phone time together is to reminisce. Talk about the great dates you've been on before, or the great things that you've done together.\\nTalk about the first time you met, or the first thing that you noticed about your partner. It's always good to remember the early stages of your relationship together.\\nAnother great way to build the sexual tension? Reminisce about the things you did a few nights ago. Tell your partner what mind-blowing moves they have, to be sure they get repeated.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fantasize together.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, the phone can be a great opportunity to talk about things that you might normally find it awkward to talk about in person. If you're chatting on the phone, it might be easier to engage in a little risqué chat about your sex life. Talk about things you want to explore with your partner, and talk about what turns you on.\\nIf you're not sexually active yet, and even if you are, having phone sex can be a new outlet to explore together.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set regular phone dates.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to be apart regularly, it's a good idea to have a regular phone date at a set time, so you can still feel like you've got quality time that you're spending together. Set a half hour or an hour each day so you can catch each other up on your days, talk about the future, and spend a little time talking.\\nYou might want to talk every day, or you might not. If you have to be apart for long periods of time, talk with your partner to find out how much phone conversing you both need.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do something together on the phone.\", \"描述\": \"One great way to spend a phone date is to make a plan to do the same activity while you're talking on the phone together. Plan a fun and easy activity that you can do around the house, and just chat on the speaker phone while you do it. It'll be almost like you're together, even if you're not.\\n\\nWatch the same episode of your favorite TV show, or a big game, and talk about it while you're on the phone. Cue up your favorite movie. Even if you have to be quiet most of the time, it'll be almost like you're together.\\nTry out a recipe together and try to make it at the same time. Talk each other through it and laugh at your successes and failures. Text each other pictures of the end results when you're done and see who made it better.\\nIf you can, Skype or other video-chatting makes this even better. Even if you're not saying anything, it'll be like you're in the room together.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Just be together on the phone.\", \"描述\": \"Even if there's really nothing to talk about, just having your partner on the line can be a romantic gesture. Even if there are long periods of silence, it can be comforting and romantic to know that you're both together, even though you might be miles apart. Talk before you fall asleep and keep the phone on your pillow.\\nMake sure you're in the same network if you're going to spend loads of time just listening to each other breathe. This can be a romantic gesture, or just a huge waste of money and minutes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sending Romantic Texts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your partner know you're thinking of them throughout the day.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to be apart and can't have an actual phone conversation, just sending a short \\\"Thinking of you\\\" text can be great way to remind your partner that you care. Here are a few romantic texts you can send through the day:\\n\\\"You looked beautiful this morning. Can't get you out of my head.\\\"\\n\\\"Can't wait to see you later today! Counting the minutes.\\\"\\n\\\"Guy at work keeps talking about his cats. Miss you.\\\"\\n\\\"I've been thinking about last night all day. Can't wait to do that again.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Encourage your partner through the day.\", \"描述\": \"If you know your partner's going to have a rough day at work or school, send them encouragement throughout the day. This helps to remind your partner that you're in their corner, and that you care about them. Be a helpful voice with the following kinds of texts:\\n\\\"You're going to kill that presentation, I just know it. Good luck!\\\"\\n\\\"Good luck with the test! Thinking of you!\\\"\\n\\\"Only three more hours left till you get to come home.\\\"\\n\\\"It's almost Friday! You can do it!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Update each other on how things are going.\", \"描述\": \"When you're apart throughout the day, it's always nice to know what your partner is up to. Ask for updates on how they're doing and let your partner know how your day is going as well, with a reasonable number of text messages. Just keep each other up to date:\\n\\\"Just finished my essay. Yikes. At least it's done? Can't wait to see you tonight and blow off some steam...\\\"\\n\\\"It's such a beautiful day on campus! Flowers! Birds! Wish you were here to see it.\\\"\\n\\\"I got to work and Jim had eaten the last donut and drank the last of the coffee and now I'm just looking at Buzzfeed and wasting time. What are you doing?\\\"\\n\\\"Everyone on the train looks grim this morning. Monday. How's yours going?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Plan a date on the fly.\", \"描述\": \"When you're out and about and a date occurs to you, send a quick text to your partner to see if they'll be up for it. This is usually good for dates with someone that you've had dates before, not a first date. It's an easy and quick way to get in touch and plan something:\\n\\\"When you get home from work, I'll bring you pizza?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm downtown later. Meet me for a drink at our spot?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm having the worst day. Here's what I'm thinking for later: You. Me. Some wine. A dark room....and Empire Strikes Back on the new Blu-Ray. Yes?\\\"\\n\\\"It's a beautiful day. Let's meet in the park and go for a walk!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send pictures.\", \"描述\": \"If you're looking good, send your partner a picture to let them drool. If you see something funny while you're walking around, send it to your partner to let them laugh with you. Sending pictures can be a fun, easy, and quick way to keep in touch without having to do a whole lot of work.\\nBe careful with sending picture messages that are x-rated. Make sure you know and trust the person you send pictures to, and remember that it's never romantic to send unsolicited naked pictures, and it can be dangerous.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Send texts sparingly.\", \"描述\": \"A few texts a day can be great, but make sure you save some stuff to talk about in real life, too. Your dates might get kind of slow if you blow it all talking via text. Some people will enjoy sending hundreds of text messages a day, while others will be annoyed by the constant contact. Every relationship will be different. Find out about how much your partner texts and try to keep it within bounds. Don't annoy each other.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,108 | How to Be Romantic to Your Wife | 1. Arranging Romantic Activities
1-1. Schedule a movie night to see one of her favorite films.
Grab the disc to your wife’s favorite film, or rent the movie if you don’t have it on hand. Choose a night during the week when you both have a free evening, and surprise her with an at-home night at the cinema. As you prepare for the movie night, get some of her favorite snacks and drinks together.
If your wife doesn’t like surprises, mention the movie night idea to her earlier in the week. If she’s in the loop, it might be easier to plan a time to watch a film together.
1-2. Surprise her with a delicious meal.
Pick a night when your wife is especially busy and plan to make one of her favorite meals. Get all of the necessary ingredients ahead of time, and try to time your cooking so the food is ready by the time she gets home. If you aren’t confident in your cooking skills, don’t worry about picking a complicated meal—after all, it’s the thought that counts!
If you’d rather not cook, consider ordering take-out from one of your wife’s favorite restaurants.
Try and choose a meal that doesn’t require a lot of extensive prep time.
1-3. Plan a special trip over the weekend.
Book a mini-vacation at the beach, in the city, or wherever your wife likes to spend time. Don’t schedule a bunch of activities for the weekend; instead, let this time be as relaxing as possible for your wife. Before you book anything, make sure that her schedule for the weekend is clear!
If you and your wife both have busy schedules, try arranging a day trip instead of a weekend getaway.
Choose a trip that your wife would enjoy, and don’t focus solely on your own interests.
1-4. Ask her to join you on a formal date.
Invite your wife to dinner to rekindle the excitement of dating. Let her know that you want to spend time with her by scheduling a romantic dinner for just the two of you. If you really want to up the stakes, try getting a reservation at a really fancy, romantic restaurant!
Pick a restaurant that you know your wife will like. For instance, if your wife doesn’t like shellfish, she might be disappointed with a reservation at a seafood restaurant.
2. Setting a Romantic Mood
2-1. Light candles around the room to create a sensual atmosphere.
Arrange a variety of candles, ranging from candlesticks to tea lights. Use a lighter or match to light each one before your wife enters the room. To maximize the romantic mood, try setting the candles up in a cozy, more intimate setting, like your bedroom or bathroom.
Invest in scented candles if you want to have a sensual smell wafting through the room.
Some candles double as a massage oil when melted.
2-2. Play mood music in the background when you’re together.
Use a phone, speaker, or sound system to play romantic music in a place where you both spend a lot of time together. If you can’t decide on a song to play, opt for a tried-and-true love ballad to use as your background music.
Depending on your plans for the evening, you might want to gear your music in a more seductive direction.
For example, songs like “Love Me Tender,” “I Will Always Love You,” “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing,” and “Careless Whisper” are great music choices for a romantic dinner at home.
2-3. Draw her a bubble bath to pamper her.
Use some essential oils and Epsom salts to create a cozy, relaxing place for her to unwind. If your wife prefers certain scents or flavors, like chocolate, try preparing a bath that includes them. As you fill the tub, aim for the water to be between 100 to 102 °F (38 to 39 °C).
To make the mood extra romantic, set up some small candles around the bathtub.
2-4. Bring her a hot beverage while she’s still in bed.
On the weekends or during a morning where she doesn’t have to get out of bed right away, brew a cup of your wife’s favorite beverage, like tea or coffee. If you don’t know your wife’s cream and sugar preferences, bring a few sugar packets and a small cup of milk or cream to your wife as well.
Pour the drink into a portable cup so it’s easier to transport.
Try making your wife a fruit smoothie instead of a hot drink!
2-5. Buy her roses to show her that she’s in your thoughts.
Pick up some flowers from your local florist or grocery store and give them to your wife as a surprise gift. If you’d prefer to be less cliche, order a bouquet of your wife’s favorite flowers, instead. For an extra hint of surprise, try sending the flower order to your wife’s work!
If you want to be especially romantic, arrange the flowers or flower petals on her bed to create a romantic scene.
3. Showering Her with Affection
3-1. Kiss her more often.
Express your love to your wife by giving her a spur-of-the-moment kiss. If she’s not expecting the gesture, you might end up giving her a pleasant surprise. When you’re spending alone time with your wife, follow your gut—sometimes, the perfect opportunity to kiss might come when you least expect it!
If you want to make your wife feel really special, try kissing her in public. However, make sure that she’d enjoy this gesture, and wouldn’t be embarrassed by the extra attention.
3-2. Tell your wife that you love her in a note.
Write out a short message to your wife that will make her smile. If you’re leaving the note in the morning, wish her luck for a great day and remind her to text or call you if she needs anything. Leave the note in a place she’ll be sure to find it, like near the bathroom mirror.
If you don’t have time to leave a note, send her a text to let her know that she’s in your thoughts!
For example, try writing something like: Good morning, honey! I love you so much, and I just wanted to wish you a great day at work today. Call or text me if you need anything.
3-3. Include more physical intimacy in your day-to-day life.
Create a romantic ritual with your wife by finding ways to insert kisses and declarations of love into your daily life. Center your hugs, kisses, and sweet nothings around ordinary events, instead of waiting for anniversaries and other special occasions.
For instance, consider kissing your wife every time she gets home from work.
3-4. Give her a back massage if she’s had a tough day.
Pay attention to your wife’s mood at the end of the day. If she had a rough day at work or seems to be in a bad mood, ask her if she’d like a back rub. Even if you’re not a professional masseuse, this simple gesture can go a long way with your wife.
Foot and neck massages are also a great option!
3-5. Get in the habit of expressing your feelings of love.
Don’t be shy when it comes to letting your wife know how you feel. Instead, try to let her know at random times, or in casual conversation. While you’re not reinventing the romantic wheel with this gesture, you can add a timeless sense of romance to your marriage by telling your wife that you love her.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Arranging Romantic Activities\\n1-1. Schedule a movie night to see one of her favorite films.\\nGrab the disc to your wife’s favorite film, or rent the movie if you don’t have it on hand. Choose a night during the week when you both have a free evening, and surprise her with an at-home night at the cinema. As you prepare for the movie night, get some of her favorite snacks and drinks together.\\nIf your wife doesn’t like surprises, mention the movie night idea to her earlier in the week. If she’s in the loop, it might be easier to plan a time to watch a film together.\\n1-2. Surprise her with a delicious meal.\\nPick a night when your wife is especially busy and plan to make one of her favorite meals. Get all of the necessary ingredients ahead of time, and try to time your cooking so the food is ready by the time she gets home. If you aren’t confident in your cooking skills, don’t worry about picking a complicated meal—after all, it’s the thought that counts!\\nIf you’d rather not cook, consider ordering take-out from one of your wife’s favorite restaurants.\\nTry and choose a meal that doesn’t require a lot of extensive prep time.\\n1-3. Plan a special trip over the weekend.\\nBook a mini-vacation at the beach, in the city, or wherever your wife likes to spend time. Don’t schedule a bunch of activities for the weekend; instead, let this time be as relaxing as possible for your wife. Before you book anything, make sure that her schedule for the weekend is clear!\\nIf you and your wife both have busy schedules, try arranging a day trip instead of a weekend getaway.\\nChoose a trip that your wife would enjoy, and don’t focus solely on your own interests.\\n1-4. Ask her to join you on a formal date.\\nInvite your wife to dinner to rekindle the excitement of dating. Let her know that you want to spend time with her by scheduling a romantic dinner for just the two of you. If you really want to up the stakes, try getting a reservation at a really fancy, romantic restaurant!\\nPick a restaurant that you know your wife will like. For instance, if your wife doesn’t like shellfish, she might be disappointed with a reservation at a seafood restaurant.\\n2. Setting a Romantic Mood\\n2-1. Light candles around the room to create a sensual atmosphere.\\nArrange a variety of candles, ranging from candlesticks to tea lights. Use a lighter or match to light each one before your wife enters the room. To maximize the romantic mood, try setting the candles up in a cozy, more intimate setting, like your bedroom or bathroom.\\nInvest in scented candles if you want to have a sensual smell wafting through the room.\\nSome candles double as a massage oil when melted.\\n2-2. Play mood music in the background when you’re together.\\nUse a phone, speaker, or sound system to play romantic music in a place where you both spend a lot of time together. If you can’t decide on a song to play, opt for a tried-and-true love ballad to use as your background music.\\nDepending on your plans for the evening, you might want to gear your music in a more seductive direction.\\nFor example, songs like “Love Me Tender,” “I Will Always Love You,” “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing,” and “Careless Whisper” are great music choices for a romantic dinner at home.\\n2-3. Draw her a bubble bath to pamper her.\\nUse some essential oils and Epsom salts to create a cozy, relaxing place for her to unwind. If your wife prefers certain scents or flavors, like chocolate, try preparing a bath that includes them. As you fill the tub, aim for the water to be between 100 to 102 °F (38 to 39 °C).\\nTo make the mood extra romantic, set up some small candles around the bathtub.\\n2-4. Bring her a hot beverage while she’s still in bed.\\nOn the weekends or during a morning where she doesn’t have to get out of bed right away, brew a cup of your wife’s favorite beverage, like tea or coffee. If you don’t know your wife’s cream and sugar preferences, bring a few sugar packets and a small cup of milk or cream to your wife as well.\\nPour the drink into a portable cup so it’s easier to transport.\\nTry making your wife a fruit smoothie instead of a hot drink!\\n2-5. Buy her roses to show her that she’s in your thoughts.\\nPick up some flowers from your local florist or grocery store and give them to your wife as a surprise gift. If you’d prefer to be less cliche, order a bouquet of your wife’s favorite flowers, instead. For an extra hint of surprise, try sending the flower order to your wife’s work!\\nIf you want to be especially romantic, arrange the flowers or flower petals on her bed to create a romantic scene.\\n3. Showering Her with Affection\\n3-1. Kiss her more often.\\nExpress your love to your wife by giving her a spur-of-the-moment kiss. If she’s not expecting the gesture, you might end up giving her a pleasant surprise. When you’re spending alone time with your wife, follow your gut—sometimes, the perfect opportunity to kiss might come when you least expect it!\\nIf you want to make your wife feel really special, try kissing her in public. However, make sure that she’d enjoy this gesture, and wouldn’t be embarrassed by the extra attention.\\n3-2. Tell your wife that you love her in a note.\\nWrite out a short message to your wife that will make her smile. If you’re leaving the note in the morning, wish her luck for a great day and remind her to text or call you if she needs anything. Leave the note in a place she’ll be sure to find it, like near the bathroom mirror.\\nIf you don’t have time to leave a note, send her a text to let her know that she’s in your thoughts!\\nFor example, try writing something like: Good morning, honey! I love you so much, and I just wanted to wish you a great day at work today. Call or text me if you need anything.\\n3-3. Include more physical intimacy in your day-to-day life.\\nCreate a romantic ritual with your wife by finding ways to insert kisses and declarations of love into your daily life. Center your hugs, kisses, and sweet nothings around ordinary events, instead of waiting for anniversaries and other special occasions.\\nFor instance, consider kissing your wife every time she gets home from work.\\n3-4. Give her a back massage if she’s had a tough day.\\nPay attention to your wife’s mood at the end of the day. If she had a rough day at work or seems to be in a bad mood, ask her if she’d like a back rub. Even if you’re not a professional masseuse, this simple gesture can go a long way with your wife.\\nFoot and neck massages are also a great option!\\n3-5. Get in the habit of expressing your feelings of love.\\nDon’t be shy when it comes to letting your wife know how you feel. Instead, try to let her know at random times, or in casual conversation. While you’re not reinventing the romantic wheel with this gesture, you can add a timeless sense of romance to your marriage by telling your wife that you love her.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment in a relationship, it can be difficult to keep the romance going on a daily basis. Thankfully, there are many ways to show your wife that you love her, both big and small. For a more direct approach, try arranging different activities that your wife will enjoy, like a movie night or a home-cooked meal. If you’d prefer to be more subtle, add a touch of romance to your wife’s day by setting a romantic mood with candles or music. If you want to commit to a more romantic relationship with your spouse, try showing more affection on a day-to-day basis.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arranging Romantic Activities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Schedule a movie night to see one of her favorite films.\", \"描述\": \"Grab the disc to your wife’s favorite film, or rent the movie if you don’t have it on hand. Choose a night during the week when you both have a free evening, and surprise her with an at-home night at the cinema. As you prepare for the movie night, get some of her favorite snacks and drinks together.\\nIf your wife doesn’t like surprises, mention the movie night idea to her earlier in the week. If she’s in the loop, it might be easier to plan a time to watch a film together.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Surprise her with a delicious meal.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a night when your wife is especially busy and plan to make one of her favorite meals. Get all of the necessary ingredients ahead of time, and try to time your cooking so the food is ready by the time she gets home. If you aren’t confident in your cooking skills, don’t worry about picking a complicated meal—after all, it’s the thought that counts!\\nIf you’d rather not cook, consider ordering take-out from one of your wife’s favorite restaurants.\\nTry and choose a meal that doesn’t require a lot of extensive prep time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan a special trip over the weekend.\", \"描述\": \"Book a mini-vacation at the beach, in the city, or wherever your wife likes to spend time. Don’t schedule a bunch of activities for the weekend; instead, let this time be as relaxing as possible for your wife. Before you book anything, make sure that her schedule for the weekend is clear!\\nIf you and your wife both have busy schedules, try arranging a day trip instead of a weekend getaway.\\nChoose a trip that your wife would enjoy, and don’t focus solely on your own interests.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her to join you on a formal date.\", \"描述\": \"Invite your wife to dinner to rekindle the excitement of dating. Let her know that you want to spend time with her by scheduling a romantic dinner for just the two of you. If you really want to up the stakes, try getting a reservation at a really fancy, romantic restaurant!\\nPick a restaurant that you know your wife will like. For instance, if your wife doesn’t like shellfish, she might be disappointed with a reservation at a seafood restaurant.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting a Romantic Mood\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Light candles around the room to create a sensual atmosphere.\", \"描述\": \"Arrange a variety of candles, ranging from candlesticks to tea lights. Use a lighter or match to light each one before your wife enters the room. To maximize the romantic mood, try setting the candles up in a cozy, more intimate setting, like your bedroom or bathroom.\\nInvest in scented candles if you want to have a sensual smell wafting through the room.\\nSome candles double as a massage oil when melted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Play mood music in the background when you’re together.\", \"描述\": \"Use a phone, speaker, or sound system to play romantic music in a place where you both spend a lot of time together. If you can’t decide on a song to play, opt for a tried-and-true love ballad to use as your background music.\\nDepending on your plans for the evening, you might want to gear your music in a more seductive direction.\\nFor example, songs like “Love Me Tender,” “I Will Always Love You,” “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing,” and “Careless Whisper” are great music choices for a romantic dinner at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Draw her a bubble bath to pamper her.\", \"描述\": \"Use some essential oils and Epsom salts to create a cozy, relaxing place for her to unwind. If your wife prefers certain scents or flavors, like chocolate, try preparing a bath that includes them. As you fill the tub, aim for the water to be between 100 to 102 °F (38 to 39 °C).\\nTo make the mood extra romantic, set up some small candles around the bathtub.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring her a hot beverage while she’s still in bed.\", \"描述\": \"On the weekends or during a morning where she doesn’t have to get out of bed right away, brew a cup of your wife’s favorite beverage, like tea or coffee. If you don’t know your wife’s cream and sugar preferences, bring a few sugar packets and a small cup of milk or cream to your wife as well.\\nPour the drink into a portable cup so it’s easier to transport.\\nTry making your wife a fruit smoothie instead of a hot drink!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Buy her roses to show her that she’s in your thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Pick up some flowers from your local florist or grocery store and give them to your wife as a surprise gift. If you’d prefer to be less cliche, order a bouquet of your wife’s favorite flowers, instead. For an extra hint of surprise, try sending the flower order to your wife’s work!\\nIf you want to be especially romantic, arrange the flowers or flower petals on her bed to create a romantic scene.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Showering Her with Affection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Kiss her more often.\", \"描述\": \"Express your love to your wife by giving her a spur-of-the-moment kiss. If she’s not expecting the gesture, you might end up giving her a pleasant surprise. When you’re spending alone time with your wife, follow your gut—sometimes, the perfect opportunity to kiss might come when you least expect it!\\nIf you want to make your wife feel really special, try kissing her in public. However, make sure that she’d enjoy this gesture, and wouldn’t be embarrassed by the extra attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your wife that you love her in a note.\", \"描述\": \"Write out a short message to your wife that will make her smile. If you’re leaving the note in the morning, wish her luck for a great day and remind her to text or call you if she needs anything. Leave the note in a place she’ll be sure to find it, like near the bathroom mirror.\\nIf you don’t have time to leave a note, send her a text to let her know that she’s in your thoughts!\\nFor example, try writing something like: Good morning, honey! I love you so much, and I just wanted to wish you a great day at work today. Call or text me if you need anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include more physical intimacy in your day-to-day life.\", \"描述\": \"Create a romantic ritual with your wife by finding ways to insert kisses and declarations of love into your daily life. Center your hugs, kisses, and sweet nothings around ordinary events, instead of waiting for anniversaries and other special occasions.\\nFor instance, consider kissing your wife every time she gets home from work.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give her a back massage if she’s had a tough day.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to your wife’s mood at the end of the day. If she had a rough day at work or seems to be in a bad mood, ask her if she’d like a back rub. Even if you’re not a professional masseuse, this simple gesture can go a long way with your wife.\\nFoot and neck massages are also a great option!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get in the habit of expressing your feelings of love.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be shy when it comes to letting your wife know how you feel. Instead, try to let her know at random times, or in casual conversation. While you’re not reinventing the romantic wheel with this gesture, you can add a timeless sense of romance to your marriage by telling your wife that you love her.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,109 | How to Be Romantic with Your Boyfriend | 1. Being Creative
1-1. Write "I love you" in hidden places.
Your boyfriend would expect you to write "I love you" at the end of a letter or a text message, but he won't expect to see it written in the steam after his shower, in the hot sauce on his morning omelet, or on a blank page of his notebook that he sees when he's about to take notes for class. Finding a creative and unique place to write "I love you" will make him think even more fondly of you when you're not there, and will make him feel more romantic because you've made a special effort to let him know that you care.
Just doing this once or twice a month can really show your boyfriend that you care. You don't have to overdo it.
1-2. Make him a mixed CD.
This can be a CD that reminds him of "your songs" or one that really takes his musical tastes into account and is a mix of things you actually think he likes. Don't recommend your favorite bands if you know they aren't his thing; but if you really know what he would like, then make him a mixed CD and pop it into his car's CD player when he's not looking. When he turns on the car, he'll get a pleasant surprise.
Make sure you know what music he listens to, what music he already owns, and what he likes before you go and do this.
1-3. Make a scrapbook.
Put together a scrapbook of all of your most meaningful memories. Put together photos of you together, tickets from your favorite concert, a menu from the restaurant where you first said, "I love you," or notes that you wrote each other throughout the course of your relationship. This can make a great anniversary or birthday gift, or you can give him the book just because.
This book will make him see how far you've come in your relationship, and will make him appreciate you even more.
1-4. Celebrate Valentine's Day early (or late).
Who says Valentine's Day is only for February 14th? If you're both busy that day, or if you just want to be romantic on a random Wednesday, then you should plan an celebrating Valentine's Day on whatever day works for you two; you can use this time to shower each other with love and affection, dress up, and eat something delicious.
This fake Valentine's Day will be extra fun because you both will feel like you're in on a joke.
1-5. Act like a little kid.
Little kids have an infinitive amount of wonder at the state of the world, along with a healthy dose of hope and optimism. So, take a day to just act like a kid with your boyfriend, and see how much your love for each other and the world grows when you do the silly things you loved to do as a kid. You two can go to a carnival, make balloon animals, finger paint, mud wrestle, or just do anything fun and silly that makes you feel more romantic and more alive. Here are some other things you can do:
Blow soap bubbles
Bake cookies
Make macaroni and cheese
Watch fireworks
Eat cotton candy at a baseball game
Go to a water park
Make S'mores
1-6. Take a pottery class together.
Taking a pottery class with your boyfriend will be just as romantic as that one scene in Ghost -- except it'll be even better because you'll both be alive. You'll be getting your hands dirty, learning something new, and creating something that you can bring home and put on your coffee table, however lopsided and misshaped it may be.
Not only will you have fun doing this, but you'll be developing even more affection for one another.
1-7. Make a book of all of the emails you've written to each other.
If you've spent a lot of time apart and have sent long emails to each other, or if you're just the kind of people who love sending each other emails, you should print out all of your sweet, funny, and romantic emails and put them in a book for your boyfriend. He'll read over all of your love notes and will remember all of the great times you've had and all of the memories you've shared.
An affectionate email can be just as romantic as a love note. Just punch holes in the emails and bind them together with thick colorful string and hand 'em over.
2. Being Thoughtful
2-1. Give him thoughtful gifts.
Don't just give your boyfriend a six pack of his favorite beer and take him out to Pizza Hut. Put in an effort to figuring out what he really likes and cares about, and what gift would actually mean something to him, and what would surprise him and make him see that you've put an effort into the gift. When it comes to gifts, one size does not fit all, so try to get your boyfriend something personalized, special, and something he wouldn't think to get on his own. Remember that the best gifts are often given "just because," not for a birthday or another special occasion. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Does he love hiking or camping? Get him the latest camping or hiking gear, something he's been wanting for a while.
Does he love fine ales or wines? Get him a subscription to a beer or wine of the month club.
Is he a video game junkie? Get him a new game that's all the rage, or update his gaming equipment.
Is he a concert fanatic? Find out when his favorite band is coming to town before he does and get him some tickets.
2-2. Write him thoughtful notes.
Not every not-in-person communication has to come through a computer or a phone. If you're going to be apart for a day or two, or even for a few hours, write him a sweet note telling him how much he means to you or how much you'll miss him while you're apart. Just telling him to have a nice day and to let him know that you're thinking of him can make all the difference.
You can write your note on a post-it and put it on his mirror, put the note it in his lunch bag, school bag, or work bag, or leave the note on his windshield. Part of the romance will come from the surprise.
2-3. Go on meaningful dates.
Though you and your boyfriend can probably have fun no matter where you go, you should make an effort to plan some dates that are special and feel really romantic. This depends on what you and your boyfriend like and the kinds of things that make you happy together. If you suggest a date that would be perfect for your boyfriend, then he'll be impressed by how much thought and effort you're putting into the relationship. Here are some ideas:
Does your boyfriend love baseball? Take a trip to the batting cages together.
Is it snowing just a little bit? You're never too old to go ice skating.
If you both want to hang out but don't feel like going anywhere, cook your favorite meal together.
Spend a day out on the beach or near a lake. Being near or in a body of water will make you feel more romantic.
Think of the thing your boyfriend has always talked about doing. Make it happen.
2-4. Do him favors that count.
You may not think that doing your boyfriend's laundry on the week when he has a big exam coming up is very romantic, but he'll appreciate the gesture. Romance isn't all about the grand gestures, but about the little things that show your boyfriend that you really care about him and want to make him happy. Ideally, of course, you should both be doing each other favors; you should not turn in to his errand girl to win him over.
If he's having a really busy day, make him lunch or pick it up for him.
Step out in the morning to bring him back some coffee and muffins if you know he doesn't have anything to eat for breakfast.
If you're going to the store anyway, pick him up the few items he needs so you can save him the trip.
If he tends to be forgetful and has a big deadline coming up, remind him when it is to show him that you're paying attention.
2-5. Take the time to understand his interests.
This doesn't mean you have to tag along with him and his buddies to watch Monday night football. But it does mean that you should make an effort to see why he cares about football or whatever other interests mean nothing to you. See what's behind his love for soccer, fishing, historical non-fiction, comics, or whatever else makes him tick.
Ask him questions about these things, and see if you can come along as he explores his interests if they intrigue you. Now that's romantic.
3. Being Affectionate
3-1. Give your boyfriend affectionate touches.
Sure, most guys aren't known for their love of PDA or hand-holding, but you should still make an effort to give your boyfriend reassuring, loving touches from time to time so he knows that you care about him. Squeeze his hand at the movies; run your hand through his hair when you're waking up; give him a playful shove when you're teasing each other. You shouldn't be all over him all the time or he may get weary; just pick the right moments to touch him, at least a few times a day.
Making that physical connection whenever it feels right is very romantic.
3-2. Give him meaningful compliments.
Don't just say, "You're so hot" or "I really like you." Let him know what it is that makes him feel so special to you. Tell him he has a great smile, that you love his sense of humor, that you admire his work ethic, or that you think he's so good at knowing exactly how you're feeling. Make a point of finding something new you like about him every so often and let him know how you really feel.
Compliments are best delivered in person, but you can also always tell him how you feel in a love note, email, or phone call.
3-3. Show him affection when you're apart.
If you're spending some time apart, whether it's a week or an entire summer, you should let him know you still care. This doesn't mean that you should call him twenty times a day to see what he's doing or to make sure he's not talking to other girls; it does mean that you should check in to let him know that you care and that you're thinking about him, at least once a day.
You don't have to talk on the phone every single day, if you're both busy and feel like you're just doing it to check an item off your list. But you should check in at least once a day when you're apart, whether it's by calling, texting, or emailing him.
Text him to let him know you're thinking of him.
If you both have video phones or Skype, make a video date or two each week, so you can still see each other and remember how much you love being together.
3-4. Give him an unexpected six-second kiss at least once a day.
Even if you're both tired, busy, or just not feeling affectionate, you should kiss each other at least once a day. Make the effort to give him just one six-second long kiss each day, and you'll be upping the romance factor in your relationship, and strengthening your bond as a couple. Don't just give him a routine peck on the lips or cheek before you have to leave, but pick an unexpected time to kiss him.
Kissing is the most basic way to let your boyfriend know how much you care.
3-5. Tell him why he's an amazing boyfriend.
Don't forget to let him know exactly how much he means to you. Often, words are the best way to show affection. You can tell him in a monthly letter, or tell him casually over dinner. Make a list of at least five things that make him an amazing boyfriend, and let him know exactly what these things are, so he really sees how much he means to you.
You can be even more spontaneous than that. If he does something that strikes you as amazing, just tell him what it is.
3-6. Give him a massage.
Giving your boyfriend a massage will not only kick up the sexiness factor in your relationship, but it will also be a great way of showing him affection and letting him see that you really care. If he comes back home after a long day or work or school, make him sit down and give him a good shoulder massage. You can move to his neck, his biceps, and his lower back. Help him relax and get all of those pesky knots out of his back, and he'll be feeling your lovin' for a long time.
For a longer and more intimate massage, have him lie on his stomach for you.
4. Keeping the Romance Alive
4-1. Never stop the courtship.
Even if you and your boyfriend have been together for years, you shouldn't look at the relationship as a perfect union that should stay exactly the same until the end of time. You should both be working to impress each other, to keep chasing each other, and to remind each other why your relationship is so great. Don't just fall into the same old dull routine because it's "pretty good" and has been working thus far; take your relationship to the next level by always trying new things and keeping it interesting.
Don't stop telling each other how much you mean to each other.
Keep up your weekly "date nights," and make sure you leave the house for most of them.
Make sure you try something new together at least once a month, whether it's a new restaurant or a new sport.
Be spontaneous. Go on a random weekend trip you planned the night before; sign up for a salsa class at the last minute.
4-2. Tend to your looks.
If you want to hold on to your boyfriend, then you can't let yourself go. Both of you should make sure you shower regularly, get your hair in good shape, and dress nicely when you're hanging out together. You can wear sweatpants on Sundays, maybe, or on another designated "vegging out" day, but on the whole, you should dress up when you're together like you could appear in public, even if you're not leaving the house.
Caring for your appearance will keep you from getting complacent in your relationship and will make you and your boyfriend feel more romantic.
You can even make a point of dressing up extra nicely for your date nights, even if you're not going anywhere that fancy.
4-3. Keep your bedroom in a sexy state.
Whether you and your boyfriend are sleeping together or just hooking up, make sure you get together in a place that makes you feel romantic, not a dirty car or cluttered basement. If you can hook up in your bedroom, make sure that it's neat, clean, and that it feels like it's made just for you two to kiss each other; don't hook up near textbooks or the piles of folders you brought home from work. When you're getting intimate in the bedroom, intimacy should be the only thing on your minds.
If you and your boyfriend live together, this is especially important. If the room is only used for sleep and sex, you will both feel more romantic.
4-4. Maintain your independence.
If you want to keep your relationship feeling fresh, then you and your boyfriend have to spend some time apart. If you're always together, then you won't have as much to talk about, and you won't be able to miss each other or appreciate each other when you're apart. No matter how close you are, it's important to pursue your own interests and to hang out with your friends and families apart from each other from time to time.
Just going out with your girlfriends without your boyfriend every week or two will give you a new appreciation of how much you love him.
Don't be clingy or needy. Let your boyfriend go out and do his own thing now and again and he'll love you -- and feel romantic -- even more.
4-5. Do activities that raise your adrenaline together.
If you and your boyfriend do something romantic together that gets your blood pumping and makes you feel good, you will be guaranteed to feel more sexy and romantic. This can take the form of any kind of exercise such as long walks, hiking, biking, running, yoga, ballroom dancing, or just going to the gym together.
A couple that works out together stays together. And stays in shape.
Raising your adrenaline will also put you in a better mood, and will make you more fond of the person you're with.
Tips
Run your fingers through his hair when you look into his eyes.
Make sure your boyfriend is okay with you doing this.
Know that you are his only one, and even if you're not, pretend you are. If you're not confident, he won't be either.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Creative\\n1-1. Write \\\"I love you\\\" in hidden places.\\nYour boyfriend would expect you to write \\\"I love you\\\" at the end of a letter or a text message, but he won't expect to see it written in the steam after his shower, in the hot sauce on his morning omelet, or on a blank page of his notebook that he sees when he's about to take notes for class. Finding a creative and unique place to write \\\"I love you\\\" will make him think even more fondly of you when you're not there, and will make him feel more romantic because you've made a special effort to let him know that you care.\\nJust doing this once or twice a month can really show your boyfriend that you care. You don't have to overdo it.\\n1-2. Make him a mixed CD.\\nThis can be a CD that reminds him of \\\"your songs\\\" or one that really takes his musical tastes into account and is a mix of things you actually think he likes. Don't recommend your favorite bands if you know they aren't his thing; but if you really know what he would like, then make him a mixed CD and pop it into his car's CD player when he's not looking. When he turns on the car, he'll get a pleasant surprise.\\nMake sure you know what music he listens to, what music he already owns, and what he likes before you go and do this.\\n1-3. Make a scrapbook.\\nPut together a scrapbook of all of your most meaningful memories. Put together photos of you together, tickets from your favorite concert, a menu from the restaurant where you first said, \\\"I love you,\\\" or notes that you wrote each other throughout the course of your relationship. This can make a great anniversary or birthday gift, or you can give him the book just because.\\nThis book will make him see how far you've come in your relationship, and will make him appreciate you even more.\\n1-4. Celebrate Valentine's Day early (or late).\\nWho says Valentine's Day is only for February 14th? If you're both busy that day, or if you just want to be romantic on a random Wednesday, then you should plan an celebrating Valentine's Day on whatever day works for you two; you can use this time to shower each other with love and affection, dress up, and eat something delicious.\\nThis fake Valentine's Day will be extra fun because you both will feel like you're in on a joke.\\n1-5. Act like a little kid.\\nLittle kids have an infinitive amount of wonder at the state of the world, along with a healthy dose of hope and optimism. So, take a day to just act like a kid with your boyfriend, and see how much your love for each other and the world grows when you do the silly things you loved to do as a kid. You two can go to a carnival, make balloon animals, finger paint, mud wrestle, or just do anything fun and silly that makes you feel more romantic and more alive. Here are some other things you can do:\\nBlow soap bubbles\\nBake cookies\\nMake macaroni and cheese\\nWatch fireworks\\nEat cotton candy at a baseball game\\nGo to a water park\\nMake S'mores\\n1-6. Take a pottery class together.\\nTaking a pottery class with your boyfriend will be just as romantic as that one scene in Ghost -- except it'll be even better because you'll both be alive. You'll be getting your hands dirty, learning something new, and creating something that you can bring home and put on your coffee table, however lopsided and misshaped it may be.\\nNot only will you have fun doing this, but you'll be developing even more affection for one another.\\n1-7. Make a book of all of the emails you've written to each other.\\nIf you've spent a lot of time apart and have sent long emails to each other, or if you're just the kind of people who love sending each other emails, you should print out all of your sweet, funny, and romantic emails and put them in a book for your boyfriend. He'll read over all of your love notes and will remember all of the great times you've had and all of the memories you've shared.\\nAn affectionate email can be just as romantic as a love note. Just punch holes in the emails and bind them together with thick colorful string and hand 'em over.\\n2. Being Thoughtful\\n2-1. Give him thoughtful gifts.\\nDon't just give your boyfriend a six pack of his favorite beer and take him out to Pizza Hut. Put in an effort to figuring out what he really likes and cares about, and what gift would actually mean something to him, and what would surprise him and make him see that you've put an effort into the gift. When it comes to gifts, one size does not fit all, so try to get your boyfriend something personalized, special, and something he wouldn't think to get on his own. Remember that the best gifts are often given \\\"just because,\\\" not for a birthday or another special occasion. Here are some ideas to get you started:\\nDoes he love hiking or camping? Get him the latest camping or hiking gear, something he's been wanting for a while.\\nDoes he love fine ales or wines? Get him a subscription to a beer or wine of the month club.\\nIs he a video game junkie? Get him a new game that's all the rage, or update his gaming equipment.\\nIs he a concert fanatic? Find out when his favorite band is coming to town before he does and get him some tickets.\\n2-2. Write him thoughtful notes.\\nNot every not-in-person communication has to come through a computer or a phone. If you're going to be apart for a day or two, or even for a few hours, write him a sweet note telling him how much he means to you or how much you'll miss him while you're apart. Just telling him to have a nice day and to let him know that you're thinking of him can make all the difference.\\nYou can write your note on a post-it and put it on his mirror, put the note it in his lunch bag, school bag, or work bag, or leave the note on his windshield. Part of the romance will come from the surprise.\\n2-3. Go on meaningful dates.\\nThough you and your boyfriend can probably have fun no matter where you go, you should make an effort to plan some dates that are special and feel really romantic. This depends on what you and your boyfriend like and the kinds of things that make you happy together. If you suggest a date that would be perfect for your boyfriend, then he'll be impressed by how much thought and effort you're putting into the relationship. Here are some ideas:\\nDoes your boyfriend love baseball? Take a trip to the batting cages together.\\nIs it snowing just a little bit? You're never too old to go ice skating.\\nIf you both want to hang out but don't feel like going anywhere, cook your favorite meal together.\\nSpend a day out on the beach or near a lake. Being near or in a body of water will make you feel more romantic.\\nThink of the thing your boyfriend has always talked about doing. Make it happen.\\n2-4. Do him favors that count.\\nYou may not think that doing your boyfriend's laundry on the week when he has a big exam coming up is very romantic, but he'll appreciate the gesture. Romance isn't all about the grand gestures, but about the little things that show your boyfriend that you really care about him and want to make him happy. Ideally, of course, you should both be doing each other favors; you should not turn in to his errand girl to win him over.\\nIf he's having a really busy day, make him lunch or pick it up for him.\\nStep out in the morning to bring him back some coffee and muffins if you know he doesn't have anything to eat for breakfast.\\nIf you're going to the store anyway, pick him up the few items he needs so you can save him the trip.\\nIf he tends to be forgetful and has a big deadline coming up, remind him when it is to show him that you're paying attention.\\n2-5. Take the time to understand his interests.\\nThis doesn't mean you have to tag along with him and his buddies to watch Monday night football. But it does mean that you should make an effort to see why he cares about football or whatever other interests mean nothing to you. See what's behind his love for soccer, fishing, historical non-fiction, comics, or whatever else makes him tick.\\nAsk him questions about these things, and see if you can come along as he explores his interests if they intrigue you. Now that's romantic.\\n3. Being Affectionate\\n3-1. Give your boyfriend affectionate touches.\\nSure, most guys aren't known for their love of PDA or hand-holding, but you should still make an effort to give your boyfriend reassuring, loving touches from time to time so he knows that you care about him. Squeeze his hand at the movies; run your hand through his hair when you're waking up; give him a playful shove when you're teasing each other. You shouldn't be all over him all the time or he may get weary; just pick the right moments to touch him, at least a few times a day.\\nMaking that physical connection whenever it feels right is very romantic.\\n3-2. Give him meaningful compliments.\\nDon't just say, \\\"You're so hot\\\" or \\\"I really like you.\\\" Let him know what it is that makes him feel so special to you. Tell him he has a great smile, that you love his sense of humor, that you admire his work ethic, or that you think he's so good at knowing exactly how you're feeling. Make a point of finding something new you like about him every so often and let him know how you really feel.\\nCompliments are best delivered in person, but you can also always tell him how you feel in a love note, email, or phone call.\\n3-3. Show him affection when you're apart.\\nIf you're spending some time apart, whether it's a week or an entire summer, you should let him know you still care. This doesn't mean that you should call him twenty times a day to see what he's doing or to make sure he's not talking to other girls; it does mean that you should check in to let him know that you care and that you're thinking about him, at least once a day.\\nYou don't have to talk on the phone every single day, if you're both busy and feel like you're just doing it to check an item off your list. But you should check in at least once a day when you're apart, whether it's by calling, texting, or emailing him.\\nText him to let him know you're thinking of him.\\nIf you both have video phones or Skype, make a video date or two each week, so you can still see each other and remember how much you love being together.\\n3-4. Give him an unexpected six-second kiss at least once a day.\\nEven if you're both tired, busy, or just not feeling affectionate, you should kiss each other at least once a day. Make the effort to give him just one six-second long kiss each day, and you'll be upping the romance factor in your relationship, and strengthening your bond as a couple. Don't just give him a routine peck on the lips or cheek before you have to leave, but pick an unexpected time to kiss him.\\nKissing is the most basic way to let your boyfriend know how much you care.\\n3-5. Tell him why he's an amazing boyfriend.\\nDon't forget to let him know exactly how much he means to you. Often, words are the best way to show affection. You can tell him in a monthly letter, or tell him casually over dinner. Make a list of at least five things that make him an amazing boyfriend, and let him know exactly what these things are, so he really sees how much he means to you.\\nYou can be even more spontaneous than that. If he does something that strikes you as amazing, just tell him what it is.\\n3-6. Give him a massage.\\nGiving your boyfriend a massage will not only kick up the sexiness factor in your relationship, but it will also be a great way of showing him affection and letting him see that you really care. If he comes back home after a long day or work or school, make him sit down and give him a good shoulder massage. You can move to his neck, his biceps, and his lower back. Help him relax and get all of those pesky knots out of his back, and he'll be feeling your lovin' for a long time.\\nFor a longer and more intimate massage, have him lie on his stomach for you.\\n4. Keeping the Romance Alive\\n4-1. Never stop the courtship.\\nEven if you and your boyfriend have been together for years, you shouldn't look at the relationship as a perfect union that should stay exactly the same until the end of time. You should both be working to impress each other, to keep chasing each other, and to remind each other why your relationship is so great. Don't just fall into the same old dull routine because it's \\\"pretty good\\\" and has been working thus far; take your relationship to the next level by always trying new things and keeping it interesting.\\nDon't stop telling each other how much you mean to each other.\\nKeep up your weekly \\\"date nights,\\\" and make sure you leave the house for most of them.\\nMake sure you try something new together at least once a month, whether it's a new restaurant or a new sport.\\nBe spontaneous. Go on a random weekend trip you planned the night before; sign up for a salsa class at the last minute.\\n4-2. Tend to your looks.\\nIf you want to hold on to your boyfriend, then you can't let yourself go. Both of you should make sure you shower regularly, get your hair in good shape, and dress nicely when you're hanging out together. You can wear sweatpants on Sundays, maybe, or on another designated \\\"vegging out\\\" day, but on the whole, you should dress up when you're together like you could appear in public, even if you're not leaving the house.\\nCaring for your appearance will keep you from getting complacent in your relationship and will make you and your boyfriend feel more romantic.\\nYou can even make a point of dressing up extra nicely for your date nights, even if you're not going anywhere that fancy.\\n4-3. Keep your bedroom in a sexy state.\\nWhether you and your boyfriend are sleeping together or just hooking up, make sure you get together in a place that makes you feel romantic, not a dirty car or cluttered basement. If you can hook up in your bedroom, make sure that it's neat, clean, and that it feels like it's made just for you two to kiss each other; don't hook up near textbooks or the piles of folders you brought home from work. When you're getting intimate in the bedroom, intimacy should be the only thing on your minds.\\nIf you and your boyfriend live together, this is especially important. If the room is only used for sleep and sex, you will both feel more romantic.\\n4-4. Maintain your independence.\\nIf you want to keep your relationship feeling fresh, then you and your boyfriend have to spend some time apart. If you're always together, then you won't have as much to talk about, and you won't be able to miss each other or appreciate each other when you're apart. No matter how close you are, it's important to pursue your own interests and to hang out with your friends and families apart from each other from time to time.\\nJust going out with your girlfriends without your boyfriend every week or two will give you a new appreciation of how much you love him.\\nDon't be clingy or needy. Let your boyfriend go out and do his own thing now and again and he'll love you -- and feel romantic -- even more.\\n4-5. Do activities that raise your adrenaline together.\\nIf you and your boyfriend do something romantic together that gets your blood pumping and makes you feel good, you will be guaranteed to feel more sexy and romantic. This can take the form of any kind of exercise such as long walks, hiking, biking, running, yoga, ballroom dancing, or just going to the gym together.\\nA couple that works out together stays together. And stays in shape.\\nRaising your adrenaline will also put you in a better mood, and will make you more fond of the person you're with.\\nTips\\nRun your fingers through his hair when you look into his eyes.\\nMake sure your boyfriend is okay with you doing this.\\nKnow that you are his only one, and even if you're not, pretend you are. If you're not confident, he won't be either.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Romance is not overrated. In fact, romance is a key ingredient to any successful relationship. This doesn't mean that taking a moonlit stroll or having a candle lit dinner with your boyfriend is the only way to keep your relationship going; it does mean that you have to figure out what romance means to both of you as a couple and to work hard to give each other love and affection. If you want to know how to be romantic with your boyfriend, just follow these steps.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Creative\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Write \\\"I love you\\\" in hidden places.\", \"描述\": \"Your boyfriend would expect you to write \\\"I love you\\\" at the end of a letter or a text message, but he won't expect to see it written in the steam after his shower, in the hot sauce on his morning omelet, or on a blank page of his notebook that he sees when he's about to take notes for class. Finding a creative and unique place to write \\\"I love you\\\" will make him think even more fondly of you when you're not there, and will make him feel more romantic because you've made a special effort to let him know that you care.\\nJust doing this once or twice a month can really show your boyfriend that you care. You don't have to overdo it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make him a mixed CD.\", \"描述\": \"This can be a CD that reminds him of \\\"your songs\\\" or one that really takes his musical tastes into account and is a mix of things you actually think he likes. Don't recommend your favorite bands if you know they aren't his thing; but if you really know what he would like, then make him a mixed CD and pop it into his car's CD player when he's not looking. When he turns on the car, he'll get a pleasant surprise.\\nMake sure you know what music he listens to, what music he already owns, and what he likes before you go and do this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a scrapbook.\", \"描述\": \"Put together a scrapbook of all of your most meaningful memories. Put together photos of you together, tickets from your favorite concert, a menu from the restaurant where you first said, \\\"I love you,\\\" or notes that you wrote each other throughout the course of your relationship. This can make a great anniversary or birthday gift, or you can give him the book just because.\\nThis book will make him see how far you've come in your relationship, and will make him appreciate you even more.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Celebrate Valentine's Day early (or late).\", \"描述\": \"Who says Valentine's Day is only for February 14th? If you're both busy that day, or if you just want to be romantic on a random Wednesday, then you should plan an celebrating Valentine's Day on whatever day works for you two; you can use this time to shower each other with love and affection, dress up, and eat something delicious.\\nThis fake Valentine's Day will be extra fun because you both will feel like you're in on a joke.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Act like a little kid.\", \"描述\": \"Little kids have an infinitive amount of wonder at the state of the world, along with a healthy dose of hope and optimism. So, take a day to just act like a kid with your boyfriend, and see how much your love for each other and the world grows when you do the silly things you loved to do as a kid. You two can go to a carnival, make balloon animals, finger paint, mud wrestle, or just do anything fun and silly that makes you feel more romantic and more alive. Here are some other things you can do:\\nBlow soap bubbles\\nBake cookies\\nMake macaroni and cheese\\nWatch fireworks\\nEat cotton candy at a baseball game\\nGo to a water park\\nMake S'mores\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take a pottery class together.\", \"描述\": \"Taking a pottery class with your boyfriend will be just as romantic as that one scene in Ghost -- except it'll be even better because you'll both be alive. You'll be getting your hands dirty, learning something new, and creating something that you can bring home and put on your coffee table, however lopsided and misshaped it may be.\\nNot only will you have fun doing this, but you'll be developing even more affection for one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make a book of all of the emails you've written to each other.\", \"描述\": \"If you've spent a lot of time apart and have sent long emails to each other, or if you're just the kind of people who love sending each other emails, you should print out all of your sweet, funny, and romantic emails and put them in a book for your boyfriend. He'll read over all of your love notes and will remember all of the great times you've had and all of the memories you've shared.\\nAn affectionate email can be just as romantic as a love note. Just punch holes in the emails and bind them together with thick colorful string and hand 'em over.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Being Thoughtful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give him thoughtful gifts.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just give your boyfriend a six pack of his favorite beer and take him out to Pizza Hut. Put in an effort to figuring out what he really likes and cares about, and what gift would actually mean something to him, and what would surprise him and make him see that you've put an effort into the gift. When it comes to gifts, one size does not fit all, so try to get your boyfriend something personalized, special, and something he wouldn't think to get on his own. Remember that the best gifts are often given \\\"just because,\\\" not for a birthday or another special occasion. Here are some ideas to get you started:\\nDoes he love hiking or camping? Get him the latest camping or hiking gear, something he's been wanting for a while.\\nDoes he love fine ales or wines? Get him a subscription to a beer or wine of the month club.\\nIs he a video game junkie? Get him a new game that's all the rage, or update his gaming equipment.\\nIs he a concert fanatic? Find out when his favorite band is coming to town before he does and get him some tickets.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write him thoughtful notes.\", \"描述\": \"Not every not-in-person communication has to come through a computer or a phone. If you're going to be apart for a day or two, or even for a few hours, write him a sweet note telling him how much he means to you or how much you'll miss him while you're apart. Just telling him to have a nice day and to let him know that you're thinking of him can make all the difference.\\nYou can write your note on a post-it and put it on his mirror, put the note it in his lunch bag, school bag, or work bag, or leave the note on his windshield. Part of the romance will come from the surprise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go on meaningful dates.\", \"描述\": \"Though you and your boyfriend can probably have fun no matter where you go, you should make an effort to plan some dates that are special and feel really romantic. This depends on what you and your boyfriend like and the kinds of things that make you happy together. If you suggest a date that would be perfect for your boyfriend, then he'll be impressed by how much thought and effort you're putting into the relationship. Here are some ideas:\\nDoes your boyfriend love baseball? Take a trip to the batting cages together.\\nIs it snowing just a little bit? You're never too old to go ice skating.\\nIf you both want to hang out but don't feel like going anywhere, cook your favorite meal together.\\nSpend a day out on the beach or near a lake. Being near or in a body of water will make you feel more romantic.\\nThink of the thing your boyfriend has always talked about doing. Make it happen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do him favors that count.\", \"描述\": \"You may not think that doing your boyfriend's laundry on the week when he has a big exam coming up is very romantic, but he'll appreciate the gesture. Romance isn't all about the grand gestures, but about the little things that show your boyfriend that you really care about him and want to make him happy. Ideally, of course, you should both be doing each other favors; you should not turn in to his errand girl to win him over.\\nIf he's having a really busy day, make him lunch or pick it up for him.\\nStep out in the morning to bring him back some coffee and muffins if you know he doesn't have anything to eat for breakfast.\\nIf you're going to the store anyway, pick him up the few items he needs so you can save him the trip.\\nIf he tends to be forgetful and has a big deadline coming up, remind him when it is to show him that you're paying attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Take the time to understand his interests.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn't mean you have to tag along with him and his buddies to watch Monday night football. But it does mean that you should make an effort to see why he cares about football or whatever other interests mean nothing to you. See what's behind his love for soccer, fishing, historical non-fiction, comics, or whatever else makes him tick.\\nAsk him questions about these things, and see if you can come along as he explores his interests if they intrigue you. Now that's romantic.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Affectionate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your boyfriend affectionate touches.\", \"描述\": \"Sure, most guys aren't known for their love of PDA or hand-holding, but you should still make an effort to give your boyfriend reassuring, loving touches from time to time so he knows that you care about him. Squeeze his hand at the movies; run your hand through his hair when you're waking up; give him a playful shove when you're teasing each other. You shouldn't be all over him all the time or he may get weary; just pick the right moments to touch him, at least a few times a day.\\nMaking that physical connection whenever it feels right is very romantic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give him meaningful compliments.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just say, \\\"You're so hot\\\" or \\\"I really like you.\\\" Let him know what it is that makes him feel so special to you. Tell him he has a great smile, that you love his sense of humor, that you admire his work ethic, or that you think he's so good at knowing exactly how you're feeling. Make a point of finding something new you like about him every so often and let him know how you really feel.\\nCompliments are best delivered in person, but you can also always tell him how you feel in a love note, email, or phone call.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show him affection when you're apart.\", \"描述\": \"If you're spending some time apart, whether it's a week or an entire summer, you should let him know you still care. This doesn't mean that you should call him twenty times a day to see what he's doing or to make sure he's not talking to other girls; it does mean that you should check in to let him know that you care and that you're thinking about him, at least once a day.\\nYou don't have to talk on the phone every single day, if you're both busy and feel like you're just doing it to check an item off your list. But you should check in at least once a day when you're apart, whether it's by calling, texting, or emailing him.\\nText him to let him know you're thinking of him.\\nIf you both have video phones or Skype, make a video date or two each week, so you can still see each other and remember how much you love being together.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give him an unexpected six-second kiss at least once a day.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're both tired, busy, or just not feeling affectionate, you should kiss each other at least once a day. Make the effort to give him just one six-second long kiss each day, and you'll be upping the romance factor in your relationship, and strengthening your bond as a couple. Don't just give him a routine peck on the lips or cheek before you have to leave, but pick an unexpected time to kiss him.\\nKissing is the most basic way to let your boyfriend know how much you care.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell him why he's an amazing boyfriend.\", \"描述\": \"Don't forget to let him know exactly how much he means to you. Often, words are the best way to show affection. You can tell him in a monthly letter, or tell him casually over dinner. Make a list of at least five things that make him an amazing boyfriend, and let him know exactly what these things are, so he really sees how much he means to you.\\nYou can be even more spontaneous than that. If he does something that strikes you as amazing, just tell him what it is.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Give him a massage.\", \"描述\": \"Giving your boyfriend a massage will not only kick up the sexiness factor in your relationship, but it will also be a great way of showing him affection and letting him see that you really care. If he comes back home after a long day or work or school, make him sit down and give him a good shoulder massage. You can move to his neck, his biceps, and his lower back. Help him relax and get all of those pesky knots out of his back, and he'll be feeling your lovin' for a long time.\\nFor a longer and more intimate massage, have him lie on his stomach for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keeping the Romance Alive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Never stop the courtship.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you and your boyfriend have been together for years, you shouldn't look at the relationship as a perfect union that should stay exactly the same until the end of time. You should both be working to impress each other, to keep chasing each other, and to remind each other why your relationship is so great. Don't just fall into the same old dull routine because it's \\\"pretty good\\\" and has been working thus far; take your relationship to the next level by always trying new things and keeping it interesting.\\nDon't stop telling each other how much you mean to each other.\\nKeep up your weekly \\\"date nights,\\\" and make sure you leave the house for most of them.\\nMake sure you try something new together at least once a month, whether it's a new restaurant or a new sport.\\nBe spontaneous. Go on a random weekend trip you planned the night before; sign up for a salsa class at the last minute.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tend to your looks.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to hold on to your boyfriend, then you can't let yourself go. Both of you should make sure you shower regularly, get your hair in good shape, and dress nicely when you're hanging out together. You can wear sweatpants on Sundays, maybe, or on another designated \\\"vegging out\\\" day, but on the whole, you should dress up when you're together like you could appear in public, even if you're not leaving the house.\\nCaring for your appearance will keep you from getting complacent in your relationship and will make you and your boyfriend feel more romantic.\\nYou can even make a point of dressing up extra nicely for your date nights, even if you're not going anywhere that fancy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your bedroom in a sexy state.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you and your boyfriend are sleeping together or just hooking up, make sure you get together in a place that makes you feel romantic, not a dirty car or cluttered basement. If you can hook up in your bedroom, make sure that it's neat, clean, and that it feels like it's made just for you two to kiss each other; don't hook up near textbooks or the piles of folders you brought home from work. When you're getting intimate in the bedroom, intimacy should be the only thing on your minds.\\nIf you and your boyfriend live together, this is especially important. If the room is only used for sleep and sex, you will both feel more romantic.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain your independence.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to keep your relationship feeling fresh, then you and your boyfriend have to spend some time apart. If you're always together, then you won't have as much to talk about, and you won't be able to miss each other or appreciate each other when you're apart. No matter how close you are, it's important to pursue your own interests and to hang out with your friends and families apart from each other from time to time.\\nJust going out with your girlfriends without your boyfriend every week or two will give you a new appreciation of how much you love him.\\nDon't be clingy or needy. Let your boyfriend go out and do his own thing now and again and he'll love you -- and feel romantic -- even more.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do activities that raise your adrenaline together.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your boyfriend do something romantic together that gets your blood pumping and makes you feel good, you will be guaranteed to feel more sexy and romantic. This can take the form of any kind of exercise such as long walks, hiking, biking, running, yoga, ballroom dancing, or just going to the gym together.\\nA couple that works out together stays together. And stays in shape.\\nRaising your adrenaline will also put you in a better mood, and will make you more fond of the person you're with.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Run your fingers through his hair when you look into his eyes.\\n\", \"Make sure your boyfriend is okay with you doing this.\\n\", \"Know that you are his only one, and even if you're not, pretend you are. If you're not confident, he won't be either.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,110 | How to Be Romantic with Your Girlfriend | 1. Giving Her Daily Reminders
1-1. Compliment her.
Every day, you should compliment your girlfriend. This is a simple way to keep romance in a relationship without taking a lot of time. Make her feel like a princess by giving specific compliments that show you’ve been paying attention to her.
Emphasize her personality qualities—mention how creative or spontaneous she is and how much you admire it.
Express appreciation for her day to day actions. Show her that you notice she took time to do her hair in a new way or tried to put a new look together with her clothes.
Tell her how she makes you feel. For instance, if she has a certain look that she gives you that makes you melt, tell her. Even if you can’t explain it exactly, express this to her.
1-2. Take a walk.
A romantic walk is free and easy to do every day. Even if you only have time to walk a mile, do so together. While on your walk, be sure to hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder.
1-3. Send her unexpected messages.
A text or email each day is another free way to be romantic with your girlfriend. Pick a different time each day to send her this message to keep her on her toes. It can be anything as simple as “I love you” or you can make it specific. Try to do it at a time that she is very busy.
Try putting a new twist on your daily messages by writing it on her mirror before she wakes up or by placing it on a note and putting it in her jacket pocket.
1-4. Show genuine interest for all aspects of her life.
Ask her about work or her family and listen when she’s answering you. Pick a part of her life that you’re not directly related to and let her tell you all about it. She’ll be comfortable venting in the future which can prevent fights. This romantic gesture needs to be done with genuine curiosity and concern.
2. Planning Romantic Dates
2-1. Be spontaneous.
You don’t need any specific reason to plan a romantic date. While Valentine’s Day and your anniversary are perfect times to have a romantic date, you should have some consistency more often. You need to make time. If the two of you work or travel on weekends, plan an extravagant and romantic date for a Tuesday night.
Rent a convertible and drive around.
Check local concerts and surprise her with a date night.
Cook her favorite meal and have it waiting for her when she gets home during the week.
2-2. Make the plans solely for the two of you.
Making plans to see the game with your friends doesn’t count as a date. You need to make it so that it is only the two of you. This will put all of your attention on her.
2-3. Splurge on your girlfriend.
Spoil your girlfriend with random gifts. You don’t have to empty your bank account to do so, but every now and then surprise her with a new sweater she saw at the mall, a pair of earrings, or a new movie for the two of you to watch. Once again, it doesn’t have to be overly expensive—it’s more about the thought behind the gift.
3. Being Intimate
3-1. Play with her hair.
While the two of you are watching a movie or sitting at a table and working, run your fingers through her hair. The light head touching/hair messing-with will put her into a near meditative state and she will feel romantically closer to you.
3-2. Cup her face when you kiss her.
Gently holding her face when you kiss her will take your everyday kiss and turn it into a romantic moment for the two of you. Do this as your good-bye kiss in the morning or when she walks in the door from work.
3-3. Unexpectedly show some PDA.
A public display of affection (PDA) can be something as regular as a hand hold or as extravagant as a kiss timed to fireworks. Cuddle up with her unexpectedly and let her melt into you.
3-4. Offer her a massage.
Get some oil and offer her a back massage to help her relax from a stressful day. Even if you’re not able to give her the best massage she’s ever had, she will love that you’re trying to help her out.
4. Holding a Long Distance Romance
4-1. Take a day off.
Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding time when both of you can talk. Especially if you’re in different time zones, this can be one of the hardest parts of keeping the relationship alive. To keep romance going, take a day off of work. Tell her to take the same day off. Spend the day on skype or the phone with them.
Think of things ahead of time to talk about—play 21 questions or truth or dare.
4-2. Watch movies, games, or shows at the same time.
Pick a show or movie and make plans to watch it at the same time. Call each other right after and talk about what you like. It’s a great way to make artificial together time.
4-3. Make some rituals.
Make some sort of daily or weekly ritual. This will be an exciting way to keep the romance in your relationship because after a long day, your girlfriend can look forward to this ritual. This will give her a sense that you two are closer.
Wish her a good morning and good night every day.
Call and talk about the highs and lows of your day before bed.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Giving Her Daily Reminders\\n1-1. Compliment her.\\nEvery day, you should compliment your girlfriend. This is a simple way to keep romance in a relationship without taking a lot of time. Make her feel like a princess by giving specific compliments that show you’ve been paying attention to her.\\nEmphasize her personality qualities—mention how creative or spontaneous she is and how much you admire it.\\nExpress appreciation for her day to day actions. Show her that you notice she took time to do her hair in a new way or tried to put a new look together with her clothes.\\nTell her how she makes you feel. For instance, if she has a certain look that she gives you that makes you melt, tell her. Even if you can’t explain it exactly, express this to her.\\n1-2. Take a walk.\\nA romantic walk is free and easy to do every day. Even if you only have time to walk a mile, do so together. While on your walk, be sure to hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder.\\n1-3. Send her unexpected messages.\\nA text or email each day is another free way to be romantic with your girlfriend. Pick a different time each day to send her this message to keep her on her toes. It can be anything as simple as “I love you” or you can make it specific. Try to do it at a time that she is very busy.\\nTry putting a new twist on your daily messages by writing it on her mirror before she wakes up or by placing it on a note and putting it in her jacket pocket.\\n1-4. Show genuine interest for all aspects of her life.\\nAsk her about work or her family and listen when she’s answering you. Pick a part of her life that you’re not directly related to and let her tell you all about it. She’ll be comfortable venting in the future which can prevent fights. This romantic gesture needs to be done with genuine curiosity and concern.\\n2. Planning Romantic Dates\\n2-1. Be spontaneous.\\nYou don’t need any specific reason to plan a romantic date. While Valentine’s Day and your anniversary are perfect times to have a romantic date, you should have some consistency more often. You need to make time. If the two of you work or travel on weekends, plan an extravagant and romantic date for a Tuesday night.\\nRent a convertible and drive around.\\nCheck local concerts and surprise her with a date night.\\nCook her favorite meal and have it waiting for her when she gets home during the week.\\n2-2. Make the plans solely for the two of you.\\nMaking plans to see the game with your friends doesn’t count as a date. You need to make it so that it is only the two of you. This will put all of your attention on her.\\n2-3. Splurge on your girlfriend.\\nSpoil your girlfriend with random gifts. You don’t have to empty your bank account to do so, but every now and then surprise her with a new sweater she saw at the mall, a pair of earrings, or a new movie for the two of you to watch. Once again, it doesn’t have to be overly expensive—it’s more about the thought behind the gift.\\n3. Being Intimate\\n3-1. Play with her hair.\\nWhile the two of you are watching a movie or sitting at a table and working, run your fingers through her hair. The light head touching/hair messing-with will put her into a near meditative state and she will feel romantically closer to you.\\n3-2. Cup her face when you kiss her.\\nGently holding her face when you kiss her will take your everyday kiss and turn it into a romantic moment for the two of you. Do this as your good-bye kiss in the morning or when she walks in the door from work.\\n3-3. Unexpectedly show some PDA.\\nA public display of affection (PDA) can be something as regular as a hand hold or as extravagant as a kiss timed to fireworks. Cuddle up with her unexpectedly and let her melt into you.\\n3-4. Offer her a massage.\\nGet some oil and offer her a back massage to help her relax from a stressful day. Even if you’re not able to give her the best massage she’s ever had, she will love that you’re trying to help her out.\\n4. Holding a Long Distance Romance\\n4-1. Take a day off.\\nPart of being in a long distance relationship is finding time when both of you can talk. Especially if you’re in different time zones, this can be one of the hardest parts of keeping the relationship alive. To keep romance going, take a day off of work. Tell her to take the same day off. Spend the day on skype or the phone with them.\\nThink of things ahead of time to talk about—play 21 questions or truth or dare.\\n4-2. Watch movies, games, or shows at the same time.\\nPick a show or movie and make plans to watch it at the same time. Call each other right after and talk about what you like. It’s a great way to make artificial together time.\\n4-3. Make some rituals.\\nMake some sort of daily or weekly ritual. This will be an exciting way to keep the romance in your relationship because after a long day, your girlfriend can look forward to this ritual. This will give her a sense that you two are closer.\\nWish her a good morning and good night every day.\\nCall and talk about the highs and lows of your day before bed.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Romance is a very important part of any relationship. When you have a girlfriend, keeping the romance alive will strengthen your relationship. This is important whether you’re in a new relationship or in one that has existed for years. You can perform little daily acts to show her your romantic side or you can plan an extravagant trip.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Giving Her Daily Reminders\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"Every day, you should compliment your girlfriend. This is a simple way to keep romance in a relationship without taking a lot of time. Make her feel like a princess by giving specific compliments that show you’ve been paying attention to her.\\nEmphasize her personality qualities—mention how creative or spontaneous she is and how much you admire it.\\nExpress appreciation for her day to day actions. Show her that you notice she took time to do her hair in a new way or tried to put a new look together with her clothes.\\nTell her how she makes you feel. For instance, if she has a certain look that she gives you that makes you melt, tell her. Even if you can’t explain it exactly, express this to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take a walk.\", \"描述\": \"A romantic walk is free and easy to do every day. Even if you only have time to walk a mile, do so together. While on your walk, be sure to hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send her unexpected messages.\", \"描述\": \"A text or email each day is another free way to be romantic with your girlfriend. Pick a different time each day to send her this message to keep her on her toes. It can be anything as simple as “I love you” or you can make it specific. Try to do it at a time that she is very busy.\\nTry putting a new twist on your daily messages by writing it on her mirror before she wakes up or by placing it on a note and putting it in her jacket pocket.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show genuine interest for all aspects of her life.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her about work or her family and listen when she’s answering you. Pick a part of her life that you’re not directly related to and let her tell you all about it. She’ll be comfortable venting in the future which can prevent fights. This romantic gesture needs to be done with genuine curiosity and concern.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Planning Romantic Dates\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be spontaneous.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need any specific reason to plan a romantic date. While Valentine’s Day and your anniversary are perfect times to have a romantic date, you should have some consistency more often. You need to make time. If the two of you work or travel on weekends, plan an extravagant and romantic date for a Tuesday night.\\nRent a convertible and drive around.\\nCheck local concerts and surprise her with a date night.\\nCook her favorite meal and have it waiting for her when she gets home during the week.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make the plans solely for the two of you.\", \"描述\": \"Making plans to see the game with your friends doesn’t count as a date. You need to make it so that it is only the two of you. This will put all of your attention on her.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Splurge on your girlfriend.\", \"描述\": \"Spoil your girlfriend with random gifts. You don’t have to empty your bank account to do so, but every now and then surprise her with a new sweater she saw at the mall, a pair of earrings, or a new movie for the two of you to watch. Once again, it doesn’t have to be overly expensive—it’s more about the thought behind the gift.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Intimate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play with her hair.\", \"描述\": \"While the two of you are watching a movie or sitting at a table and working, run your fingers through her hair. The light head touching/hair messing-with will put her into a near meditative state and she will feel romantically closer to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Cup her face when you kiss her.\", \"描述\": \"Gently holding her face when you kiss her will take your everyday kiss and turn it into a romantic moment for the two of you. Do this as your good-bye kiss in the morning or when she walks in the door from work.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Unexpectedly show some PDA.\", \"描述\": \"A public display of affection (PDA) can be something as regular as a hand hold or as extravagant as a kiss timed to fireworks. Cuddle up with her unexpectedly and let her melt into you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer her a massage.\", \"描述\": \"Get some oil and offer her a back massage to help her relax from a stressful day. Even if you’re not able to give her the best massage she’s ever had, she will love that you’re trying to help her out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Holding a Long Distance Romance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a day off.\", \"描述\": \"Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding time when both of you can talk. Especially if you’re in different time zones, this can be one of the hardest parts of keeping the relationship alive. To keep romance going, take a day off of work. Tell her to take the same day off. Spend the day on skype or the phone with them.\\nThink of things ahead of time to talk about—play 21 questions or truth or dare.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Watch movies, games, or shows at the same time.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a show or movie and make plans to watch it at the same time. Call each other right after and talk about what you like. It’s a great way to make artificial together time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make some rituals.\", \"描述\": \"Make some sort of daily or weekly ritual. This will be an exciting way to keep the romance in your relationship because after a long day, your girlfriend can look forward to this ritual. This will give her a sense that you two are closer.\\nWish her a good morning and good night every day.\\nCall and talk about the highs and lows of your day before bed.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,111 | How to Be Romantic with Your Husband | 1. Maintaining the Spark
1-1. Incorporate little romantic gestures into your daily routine.
Turn your quick peck on the cheek into a longer 10-second kiss on the lips when you leave for work each day. Call him by an old sweet pet name that you used a lot when you were first dating. While you may not always feel like there’s time or money to go on romantic trips or buy him fancy gifts, gestures require little and are just as impactful.
1-2. Be touchy feely with him.
Touching, even when done subtly, can connect you to your husband and encourage intimacy. Give him a big hug when he gets home from work, hold his hand while you walk into the grocery store, or offer him a foot rub at the end of a long day.
1-3. Change things up in the bedroom.
Since you’ve probably been physically intimate with your husband for quite a while, you may notice that you’ve developed a certain go-to routine in the bedroom. To spice things up, try something new. Consider asking your husband about his fantasies, experimenting with new positions, or even just turning on the lights if you usually have them off.
If your husband is usually the one who initiates sex, change things up by making the first move. This will likely make him feel desired by you, which may kick start the intimacy.
1-4. Be spontaneous.
It can be hard to keep that romantic spark when you’ve been together for years and day-to-day life is so repetitive. Change things up by doing something fun and spontaneous, like renting a convertible for the day and inviting him to take a drive to the beach with you to watch the sunset.
If you can’t leave the house for one reason or another, be spontaneous at home. For example, light a couple of candles, play his favorite slow song, and ask him to slow dance with you in the kitchen.
1-5. Watch a romantic movie together to get into the mood.
It can sometimes be difficult to transition from work or taking care of the kids to romance and relaxation. Put on a cute romantic comedy or a more dramatic movie that’s filled with chemistry.
1-6. Flirt with him secretly.
Secrecy can be fun and sexy. While at dinner, write a naughty note on a napkin and pass it to him, or whisper something suggestive in his ear. This can add an exciting twist to your normal everyday interaction if intimacy is typically kept at home.
1-7. Wear clothes that he likes on you.
Pay attention when he says, “That dress is amazing,” or “I love those jeans on you.” Change out of your sweatpants and put on something you know he loves to help spark a physical connection. As a bonus, this may also show him that you pay attention to what he says.
2. Showing That You Care
2-1. Tell him what you love about him.
Everyone likes being complimented, especially by their spouse. Try to remember to tell your husband 1 thing you love about him each day to help him feel loved and cherished by you.
For example, if he’s been working late all week, say something like, “I love how hard you work to keep our family comfortable and happy.”
For example, if the sunshine makes his eyes sparkle, let him know. Say something like, “Most days your eyes are more brown, but the lighting really brings out the green in them. I love your eyes.”
2-2. Show interest in what he likes.
It’s often easy to connect with your husband over similarities and shared interests, but showing interest in something he likes that you don’t can really show him that you care about who he is. Ask him questions about topics he’s knowledgeable about and try activities that he loves.
For instance, if your husband works as a mechanic and you don’t really care about cars, ask him some questions about them anyway. Say something like, “What’s the hardest thing to fix in a car? How do you fix it?”
2-3. Give him your full attention when he wants it.
If your husband lets you know he wants to talk to you about something, brushing him off or multitasking while he talks may make him feel unimportant. Stop washing the dishes or put down your phone and look him in the eye when he talks to ensure that he feels special and focused on.
2-4. Write him a sweet love note or send him a loving text.
Writing a few kind words hardly takes any time or effort, but it may make your husband smile. Write a few sweet well-wishes for the day on a post-it note and stick it in his lunch box before he heads to work, or shoot him a quick text during the day telling him you love and miss him.
2-5. Let him relax.
Life can get hectic, so your husband might really appreciate a “night off.” Do a chore or 2 that he usually does and let him have some time to himself. This kind act of service may make your husband feel special and loved.
2-6. Suggest a “guys night out.”
Your husband may very well view this kind of suggestion as a selfless act. By encouraging him to go hang out with some friends and do “guy stuff,” you’ll be helping him to have fun and be happy without making him feel pressure to include you in it.
3. Spending Time Together
3-1. Go on a date with him.
Dating can be easily forgotten when you’re married, but it’s necessary to keep dating in order to have quality time together and focus on each other for a few hours. Get a babysitter if necessary, and then make a reservation at your husband’s favorite restaurant and buy tickets to see a movie he’s excited about.
3-2. Try something new with him.
Since the day-to-day activities of married life can be recurring, it's a great idea to go try something new and bond over it with your husband. Sign the 2 of you up for a cooking class, go to a cool bed and breakfast for the weekend, or try a sport or activity you’ve always wanted to try, such as snow skiing.
3-3. Exercise together.
It feels good to get your blood pumping and hang out together at the same time. Go play tennis together, hold hands while you ice skate, or go for a walk together at the local park.
3-4. Look through old photos together.
Try bonding over old memories together. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of fun things together and have many good memories. Look back at your wedding or honeymoon photo album, and bond over those special moments to reconnect.
3-5. Go to a comedy show.
Laughing together can increase your sense of connection and help you feel relaxed and happy. Check out the local comedy club together or go see a funny movie that’s out.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Maintaining the Spark\\n1-1. Incorporate little romantic gestures into your daily routine.\\nTurn your quick peck on the cheek into a longer 10-second kiss on the lips when you leave for work each day. Call him by an old sweet pet name that you used a lot when you were first dating. While you may not always feel like there’s time or money to go on romantic trips or buy him fancy gifts, gestures require little and are just as impactful.\\n1-2. Be touchy feely with him.\\nTouching, even when done subtly, can connect you to your husband and encourage intimacy. Give him a big hug when he gets home from work, hold his hand while you walk into the grocery store, or offer him a foot rub at the end of a long day.\\n1-3. Change things up in the bedroom.\\nSince you’ve probably been physically intimate with your husband for quite a while, you may notice that you’ve developed a certain go-to routine in the bedroom. To spice things up, try something new. Consider asking your husband about his fantasies, experimenting with new positions, or even just turning on the lights if you usually have them off.\\nIf your husband is usually the one who initiates sex, change things up by making the first move. This will likely make him feel desired by you, which may kick start the intimacy.\\n1-4. Be spontaneous.\\nIt can be hard to keep that romantic spark when you’ve been together for years and day-to-day life is so repetitive. Change things up by doing something fun and spontaneous, like renting a convertible for the day and inviting him to take a drive to the beach with you to watch the sunset.\\nIf you can’t leave the house for one reason or another, be spontaneous at home. For example, light a couple of candles, play his favorite slow song, and ask him to slow dance with you in the kitchen.\\n1-5. Watch a romantic movie together to get into the mood.\\nIt can sometimes be difficult to transition from work or taking care of the kids to romance and relaxation. Put on a cute romantic comedy or a more dramatic movie that’s filled with chemistry.\\n1-6. Flirt with him secretly.\\nSecrecy can be fun and sexy. While at dinner, write a naughty note on a napkin and pass it to him, or whisper something suggestive in his ear. This can add an exciting twist to your normal everyday interaction if intimacy is typically kept at home.\\n1-7. Wear clothes that he likes on you.\\nPay attention when he says, “That dress is amazing,” or “I love those jeans on you.” Change out of your sweatpants and put on something you know he loves to help spark a physical connection. As a bonus, this may also show him that you pay attention to what he says.\\n2. Showing That You Care\\n2-1. Tell him what you love about him.\\nEveryone likes being complimented, especially by their spouse. Try to remember to tell your husband 1 thing you love about him each day to help him feel loved and cherished by you.\\nFor example, if he’s been working late all week, say something like, “I love how hard you work to keep our family comfortable and happy.”\\nFor example, if the sunshine makes his eyes sparkle, let him know. Say something like, “Most days your eyes are more brown, but the lighting really brings out the green in them. I love your eyes.”\\n2-2. Show interest in what he likes.\\nIt’s often easy to connect with your husband over similarities and shared interests, but showing interest in something he likes that you don’t can really show him that you care about who he is. Ask him questions about topics he’s knowledgeable about and try activities that he loves.\\nFor instance, if your husband works as a mechanic and you don’t really care about cars, ask him some questions about them anyway. Say something like, “What’s the hardest thing to fix in a car? How do you fix it?”\\n2-3. Give him your full attention when he wants it.\\nIf your husband lets you know he wants to talk to you about something, brushing him off or multitasking while he talks may make him feel unimportant. Stop washing the dishes or put down your phone and look him in the eye when he talks to ensure that he feels special and focused on.\\n2-4. Write him a sweet love note or send him a loving text.\\nWriting a few kind words hardly takes any time or effort, but it may make your husband smile. Write a few sweet well-wishes for the day on a post-it note and stick it in his lunch box before he heads to work, or shoot him a quick text during the day telling him you love and miss him.\\n2-5. Let him relax.\\nLife can get hectic, so your husband might really appreciate a “night off.” Do a chore or 2 that he usually does and let him have some time to himself. This kind act of service may make your husband feel special and loved.\\n2-6. Suggest a “guys night out.”\\nYour husband may very well view this kind of suggestion as a selfless act. By encouraging him to go hang out with some friends and do “guy stuff,” you’ll be helping him to have fun and be happy without making him feel pressure to include you in it.\\n3. Spending Time Together\\n3-1. Go on a date with him.\\nDating can be easily forgotten when you’re married, but it’s necessary to keep dating in order to have quality time together and focus on each other for a few hours. Get a babysitter if necessary, and then make a reservation at your husband’s favorite restaurant and buy tickets to see a movie he’s excited about.\\n3-2. Try something new with him.\\nSince the day-to-day activities of married life can be recurring, it's a great idea to go try something new and bond over it with your husband. Sign the 2 of you up for a cooking class, go to a cool bed and breakfast for the weekend, or try a sport or activity you’ve always wanted to try, such as snow skiing.\\n3-3. Exercise together.\\nIt feels good to get your blood pumping and hang out together at the same time. Go play tennis together, hold hands while you ice skate, or go for a walk together at the local park.\\n3-4. Look through old photos together.\\nTry bonding over old memories together. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of fun things together and have many good memories. Look back at your wedding or honeymoon photo album, and bond over those special moments to reconnect.\\n3-5. Go to a comedy show.\\nLaughing together can increase your sense of connection and help you feel relaxed and happy. Check out the local comedy club together or go see a funny movie that’s out.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Keeping the romance alive with your husband is easy when things are new and exciting. However, it can be a little tougher to be romantic with your husband when you’ve been married for a while. Luckily, there are many different romantic things you can do for your husband, from surprises to thoughtful gifts to sweet everyday gestures. Keep reading to learn a variety of ways you can romance your husband and reignite your spark.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintaining the Spark\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Incorporate little romantic gestures into your daily routine.\", \"描述\": \"Turn your quick peck on the cheek into a longer 10-second kiss on the lips when you leave for work each day. Call him by an old sweet pet name that you used a lot when you were first dating. While you may not always feel like there’s time or money to go on romantic trips or buy him fancy gifts, gestures require little and are just as impactful.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be touchy feely with him.\", \"描述\": \"Touching, even when done subtly, can connect you to your husband and encourage intimacy. Give him a big hug when he gets home from work, hold his hand while you walk into the grocery store, or offer him a foot rub at the end of a long day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change things up in the bedroom.\", \"描述\": \"Since you’ve probably been physically intimate with your husband for quite a while, you may notice that you’ve developed a certain go-to routine in the bedroom. To spice things up, try something new. Consider asking your husband about his fantasies, experimenting with new positions, or even just turning on the lights if you usually have them off.\\nIf your husband is usually the one who initiates sex, change things up by making the first move. This will likely make him feel desired by you, which may kick start the intimacy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be spontaneous.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to keep that romantic spark when you’ve been together for years and day-to-day life is so repetitive. Change things up by doing something fun and spontaneous, like renting a convertible for the day and inviting him to take a drive to the beach with you to watch the sunset.\\nIf you can’t leave the house for one reason or another, be spontaneous at home. For example, light a couple of candles, play his favorite slow song, and ask him to slow dance with you in the kitchen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Watch a romantic movie together to get into the mood.\", \"描述\": \"It can sometimes be difficult to transition from work or taking care of the kids to romance and relaxation. Put on a cute romantic comedy or a more dramatic movie that’s filled with chemistry.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Flirt with him secretly.\", \"描述\": \"Secrecy can be fun and sexy. While at dinner, write a naughty note on a napkin and pass it to him, or whisper something suggestive in his ear. This can add an exciting twist to your normal everyday interaction if intimacy is typically kept at home.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that he likes on you.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention when he says, “That dress is amazing,” or “I love those jeans on you.” Change out of your sweatpants and put on something you know he loves to help spark a physical connection. As a bonus, this may also show him that you pay attention to what he says.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Showing That You Care\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell him what you love about him.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone likes being complimented, especially by their spouse. Try to remember to tell your husband 1 thing you love about him each day to help him feel loved and cherished by you.\\nFor example, if he’s been working late all week, say something like, “I love how hard you work to keep our family comfortable and happy.”\\nFor example, if the sunshine makes his eyes sparkle, let him know. Say something like, “Most days your eyes are more brown, but the lighting really brings out the green in them. I love your eyes.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show interest in what he likes.\", \"描述\": \"It’s often easy to connect with your husband over similarities and shared interests, but showing interest in something he likes that you don’t can really show him that you care about who he is. Ask him questions about topics he’s knowledgeable about and try activities that he loves.\\nFor instance, if your husband works as a mechanic and you don’t really care about cars, ask him some questions about them anyway. Say something like, “What’s the hardest thing to fix in a car? How do you fix it?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give him your full attention when he wants it.\", \"描述\": \"If your husband lets you know he wants to talk to you about something, brushing him off or multitasking while he talks may make him feel unimportant. Stop washing the dishes or put down your phone and look him in the eye when he talks to ensure that he feels special and focused on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write him a sweet love note or send him a loving text.\", \"描述\": \"Writing a few kind words hardly takes any time or effort, but it may make your husband smile. Write a few sweet well-wishes for the day on a post-it note and stick it in his lunch box before he heads to work, or shoot him a quick text during the day telling him you love and miss him.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let him relax.\", \"描述\": \"Life can get hectic, so your husband might really appreciate a “night off.” Do a chore or 2 that he usually does and let him have some time to himself. This kind act of service may make your husband feel special and loved.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Suggest a “guys night out.”\", \"描述\": \"Your husband may very well view this kind of suggestion as a selfless act. By encouraging him to go hang out with some friends and do “guy stuff,” you’ll be helping him to have fun and be happy without making him feel pressure to include you in it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spending Time Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go on a date with him.\", \"描述\": \"Dating can be easily forgotten when you’re married, but it’s necessary to keep dating in order to have quality time together and focus on each other for a few hours. Get a babysitter if necessary, and then make a reservation at your husband’s favorite restaurant and buy tickets to see a movie he’s excited about.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try something new with him.\", \"描述\": \"Since the day-to-day activities of married life can be recurring, it's a great idea to go try something new and bond over it with your husband. Sign the 2 of you up for a cooking class, go to a cool bed and breakfast for the weekend, or try a sport or activity you’ve always wanted to try, such as snow skiing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exercise together.\", \"描述\": \"It feels good to get your blood pumping and hang out together at the same time. Go play tennis together, hold hands while you ice skate, or go for a walk together at the local park.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look through old photos together.\", \"描述\": \"Try bonding over old memories together. Chances are, you’ve done a lot of fun things together and have many good memories. Look back at your wedding or honeymoon photo album, and bond over those special moments to reconnect.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to a comedy show.\", \"描述\": \"Laughing together can increase your sense of connection and help you feel relaxed and happy. Check out the local comedy club together or go see a funny movie that’s out.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,112 | How to Be Safe | 1. At Home
1-1. Keep a first aid kit handy.
To make sure your home is as safe and prepared as possible, it's a good idea to keep a quality first aid kit on hand for emergencies. For an easy option, buy one that comes pre-packaged with everything you need. However, you can also assemble one yourself and keep it in a tackle box or another plastic case. If you do that, make sure it includes:
Clean bandages and gauze
Isopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide
Antibacterial ointment
OTC painkillers
Surgical tape
Antibiotics
1-2. Stock up on supplies in case of an emergency.
Bad weather and other disasters can hit without much notice, so it's a good idea to make sure you're prepared year-round just in case. A few things you should always have on hand include:
Batteries and sturdy flashlights
Pocketknife
Needles and thread
Canned goods and other nonperishable items
Lots of water
Matches or lighters
Radio
1-3. Protect your home against the risk of fire.
Whether you're a homeowner or a renter, it's important to make sure your whole family knows what to do in case there's a fire. Here are a few things you can do that could help protect your home from fire damage:
Install smoke detectors and test them regularly.
Keep a fire extinguisher in your home. Read the directions so you'll know how to use it if there's an emergency, and replace it when it expires.
Unplug any electrical devices that you're not using and make sure your wiring is up to date.
Develop an escape plan and practice it with your family.
1-4. Make your home less attractive to burglars.
Having someone break into your home can be really scary. You may not be able to prevent it completely, but there are a few things you can do to make your home less of a target:
Have a security system installed. Make it visible—place cameras where they can be seen and put a sign or sticker on your home that indicates what security company you're using.
Organize a neighborhood watch.
Install good-quality locks on your doors.
Keep your yard clean and well-lit.
Keep your car inside the garage if you have one.
1-5. Child-proof your home if you have children.
If you have kids or are planning on having kids, it's important to make your home as safe as possible. Get down on a child's eye-level and look for anything that they could hurt themselves on, including anything they could put into their mouth or pull down on themselves. Here are a few specific things to look for:
Install gates at the top of staircases.
Hide electrical cords and plug outlets.
Secure hazardous chemicals in locked or out-of-reach places.
Lock firearms in appropriate storage.
Store small or sharp objects out of your child's reach.
Install safety latches or locks on your cabinets and drawers.
Use anchors to keep heavy furniture from tipping over.
1-6. Invest in disaster insurance.
There's no way to know when a disaster might occur and potentially cause major damage to your home. However, if you have disaster insurance, you may be covered, which could protect you from being out in the cold.
For instance, if you own your own home, homeowner's insurance might pay for part or all of the damage in the event of major storms, fire, or other catastrophic events.
If you rent your home, renter's insurance might replace the contents of your home if something happens.
2. Out at Night
2-1. Carry a cellphone in case of an emergency.
When you're going out at night, even if you're just going around the corner, it's a good idea to carry some form of communication. That way, if anything unexpected happens, you'll be able to get in touch with someone who can help you. It's also a good idea to make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave home.
You might also want to set up location services on your phone so it can be tracked if it's lost or stolen, or if something happens to you.
If you have a late-model smartphone, it may be smartest to keep it tucked in your pocket or purse unless you need to use it. That way, it won't attract muggers.
2-2. Travel in groups when you're walking.
It's usually not a good idea to walk by yourself late at night, no matter who you are. That could make you a target for someone with bad intentions. It's better if you can walk with at least one other person—but the more people you're around, the safer you'll tend to be.
If you must walk alone, stick to well-lit areas, avoid high-crime areas, and get where you're going as quickly as possible. Call someone to let them know your travel plans, as soon as possible.
If you go out drinking, make sure you get rides figured out before it gets late. If you end up downtown at 2 am without a plan for getting home, you might end up in a sketchy situation.
2-3. Let people know where you're going.
When you go out at night, tell someone where you're going and when you're likely to be back. At the very least, you'll keep people from worrying about you. In an emergency, though, that could be really important information.
If you're going somewhere unfamiliar, like on a first date with someone you don't know well, you might ask a friend to check in with you about once an hour or so.
2-4. Learn to defend yourself confidently.
The best way to win a fight is to avoid it entirely. However, if you do find yourself in a situation where you need to defend yourself, you'll be a lot more confident if you know what to do. Taking even a few beginners' self-defense classes can help you learn techniques you could use in the event of an attack.
Avoid physical confrontations at all costs. The best way to win a fight is to avoid it entirely.
2-5. Consider carrying some personal defense.
If you have to be alone at night, pepper spray or mace can be an effective safety tool against threats like assailants or stray dogs. They can also make you feel more safe and confident—and projecting that energy may make you less of a target. However, go through some type of training to learn how to properly use these items before you start carrying them. Otherwise, they can be easily used against you.
Check your local laws—in some areas, you need certain training to be able to legally carry these types of self-defense.
Carrying concealed weapons like guns and knives can be more dangerous than safe, but if that's an option you want to use, enroll in a personal defense course so you can learn to defend yourself safely. You'll also need a permit to carry weapons legally.
Keep in mind you can't carry concealed weapons in places like schools or government buildings.
3. Online
3-1. Choose secure passwords.
Never use obvious passwords like "password" or "12345." Hackers use software that can get past these types of common passwords quickly and effectively, making them as useless as having no password at all. Choose secure passwords with a mix of letters, numbers, and special symbols for the best password.
Don't use the exact same password for every site. That way, even if a hacker does get your password for one site, they won't be able to use it anywhere else.
Consider using a password manager that will create a unique password for every site you log into.
3-2. Log out of sites when you're done using them.
Always log out of any website that requires you to log in. This includes email sites, social networking, and other sites you wouldn't want someone else to access. This is especially true on public computers, but it's a good idea to do it on your personal computer as well, to be safe.
3-3. Keep private information to yourself.
Never give out identifiable information such as your full name, address, phone number, email, or credit card number to anyone on the internet. That includes people in chat rooms and message boards, through your email, or on Twitter or Facebook.
Control your privacy settings so that absolutely nothing that you post is public to anyone who you haven't approved. Going to the effort to restrict everything so that can keep prying eyes away from your posts and pictures is worth it to feel safe.
If you have to enter in anything private on a website, verify it's a site you trust. Also, look for a lock signal next to the name of the site in the search bar—that indicates the site is secure.
3-4. Read the terms and conditions.
Before you sign up to any site, read the terms and conditions—especially if it's a site where you'll be paying for something. Go through all of the fine print to make sure that you're not agreeing to any terms you're not aware of. It may be tedious, but it's worth the extra measure of safety.
For example, if you don't read the terms, you might accidentally sign up for a recurring charge when you only meant to make a one-time purchase. Or, you could consent to having your personal data sold to a third party without realizing it.
4. For Kids
4-1. Don't take dangerous dares.
It can seem hard to say no to your friends, but if someone dares you to do something that's unsafe, it's really important that you stand up for yourself. Taking a dare can sometimes have serious consequences, so trust your instincts.
For instance, if a friend dares you to run across a busy road, say something like, "I'm not doing that, and you shouldn't either. Let's go do something else instead."
4-2. Say no to drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.
Don't let the people around you bully you into trying drugs, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes. These substances can all be harmful—especially to kids and teens. That's because your brain and body are still developing, so you could end up doing real damage to yourself.
It might not seem like a big deal at the time, but taking drugs can do long-term damage to your brain, heart, and other parts of your body.
You should also tell a trusted adult that someone offered you something illegal.
4-3. Stick with friends who share your values.
If you hang out with people who have really different values than you, they're going to be more likely to pressure you into things you aren't comfortable with. For instance, if school is important to you but not to your friends, they might pressure you to skip school or hang out with them instead of doing your homework.
It also helps to have a lot of different friends. That way, if one friend is pushing you to do something you know you shouldn't, you can just spend time with someone else, instead.
4-4. Always tell an adult where you're going.
Never leave your house without letting your parents or guardians know first. Tell them where you're going, who you're going with, and when you expect to be home.
For instance, you might say, "Hey Mom, Brit wanted to know if I could come over after school today, is that okay? His dad will pick us up from school and bring me home by 6:00."
Also, if you're at school, never leave the school grounds without permission.
4-5. Never accept rides from anyone you don't know.
Absolutely never get into the car with a stranger—even if they say they know you or your parents. If a stranger does try to coax you into their car, run in the opposite direction and scream as loud as you can until you find an adult you can trust.
Also, don't get into a car with someone you do know unless you have a parent's permission.
4-6. Don't go places alone.
When you're going places, you'll be a lot of safer if you have at least one other friend with you. If you can, try to stick with a group of friends—this will help keep you all safer.
Do this no matter where you're going, whether it's to the park, the pool, the mall, or even just walking around the block.
This is especially important at night—although if you can, try to stick to going places during the daytime, when it's easier to see what's going on.
4-7. Don't take side routes home.
If you're walking to or from school, stick to a routine path that you're familiar with. That way, it will be easy for your parents to find you if you don't make it home on time.
For instance, if you take an unfamiliar path through the woods and you slip and hurt your ankle, it will be a lot harder for anyone to figure out where you are.
4-8. Practice safety drills regularly.
At home, have regular fire drills so everyone knows exactly what to do. At school, pay close attention during drills so you'll know exactly how to evacuate in case there's an emergency.
5. Health & Wellness
5-1. Avoid people who are sick.
If you know or suspect that someone else is sick, keep your distance from them. Stand at least 6 ft (1.8 m) away if possible—that way, even if they sneeze or cough, their germs will be less likely to reach you.
In the case of a pandemic like COVID-19, it may not always be possible to tell when someone else is sick. In that case, wearing a mask may help prevent the spread of germs that could make you ill.
Also, avoid sharing personal items with other people—don't drink or eat after them, for instance.
5-2. Wash your hands frequently.
One of the best ways to keep from getting sick is to wash your hands often throughout the day. Use soap and warm water, and wash for at least 20 seconds. Be sure to wash the palms of your hands, backs of your hands, between your fingers, under your fingernails, and around the base of your thumbs each time you wash.
Be especially sure to wash your hands before you eat or prepare food, and after you cough, sneeze, go to the bathroom, or touch a dirty surface.
If you can't get to soap and water, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer. However, this won't clean your hands, so you should still wash them when you get a chance.
5-3. Clean high-touch surfaces every day.
Use a disinfecting wipe or spray to clean things that are frequently touched in your home every day. For instance, every afternoon you might wipe down your countertop and table, as well as all of your doorknobs and the handles on your fridge, sink, and toilets.
This is a good practice to get into every day, but it's especially important when someone in your home is sick.
If you work in an office, it's a good idea to sanitize surfaces in the public areas—like the break room—before you touch them, as well.
5-4. Prepare meals safely to avoid food-borne illness.
Getting sick from the food you eat is no fun at all. To avoid that, follow some safety guidelines in the kitchen. Here are a few examples:
Wash your hands frequently while you prepare food.
Keep your food prep surfaces and utensils clean—wash them frequently or switch to a new one after you handle a food like raw meat.
Always wash fruits and vegetables before you eat them.
Cook foods (especially things like fish, meat, seafood, and eggs) to a safe internal temperature.
Don't leave food sitting at room temperature. Eat it promptly or put it in the refrigerator.
5-5. Get vaccinated against illnesses.
Vaccines are a really important way to keep from getting dangerous diseases, so talk to your doctor about what you need. Make sure your vaccines are up-to-date, also—some vaccines, like the flu shot, need to be repeated every year.
Vaccines for children are especially important, as they protect against childhood illnesses like measles, mumps, and rubella.
5-6. Try not to touch your mouth or nose.
It can be tough, but to keep yourself safe from germs, get in the habit of keeping your hands away from your face. If you touch a surface that had germs on it, then you touch your eyes, nose, or mouth, you could get infected with those germs.
If you do need to touch your face—like you're putting on makeup—wash your hands first.
Tips
If something bad happens to you, tell your parents about it. Don't try to be brave and carry it around inside; you will need to at least talk about it and something may need to be done about any person involved.
Heed your parents' advice about places that aren't safe to be.
When you head out, tell your parents where you're going. That way they can be reassured they know where you are and can find you quickly if needed.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:45",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. At Home\\n1-1. Keep a first aid kit handy.\\nTo make sure your home is as safe and prepared as possible, it's a good idea to keep a quality first aid kit on hand for emergencies. For an easy option, buy one that comes pre-packaged with everything you need. However, you can also assemble one yourself and keep it in a tackle box or another plastic case. If you do that, make sure it includes:\\nClean bandages and gauze\\nIsopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide\\nAntibacterial ointment\\nOTC painkillers\\nSurgical tape\\nAntibiotics\\n1-2. Stock up on supplies in case of an emergency.\\nBad weather and other disasters can hit without much notice, so it's a good idea to make sure you're prepared year-round just in case. A few things you should always have on hand include:\\nBatteries and sturdy flashlights\\nPocketknife\\nNeedles and thread\\nCanned goods and other nonperishable items\\nLots of water\\nMatches or lighters\\nRadio\\n1-3. Protect your home against the risk of fire.\\nWhether you're a homeowner or a renter, it's important to make sure your whole family knows what to do in case there's a fire. Here are a few things you can do that could help protect your home from fire damage:\\nInstall smoke detectors and test them regularly.\\nKeep a fire extinguisher in your home. Read the directions so you'll know how to use it if there's an emergency, and replace it when it expires.\\nUnplug any electrical devices that you're not using and make sure your wiring is up to date.\\nDevelop an escape plan and practice it with your family.\\n1-4. Make your home less attractive to burglars.\\nHaving someone break into your home can be really scary. You may not be able to prevent it completely, but there are a few things you can do to make your home less of a target:\\nHave a security system installed. Make it visible—place cameras where they can be seen and put a sign or sticker on your home that indicates what security company you're using.\\nOrganize a neighborhood watch.\\nInstall good-quality locks on your doors.\\nKeep your yard clean and well-lit.\\nKeep your car inside the garage if you have one.\\n1-5. Child-proof your home if you have children.\\nIf you have kids or are planning on having kids, it's important to make your home as safe as possible. Get down on a child's eye-level and look for anything that they could hurt themselves on, including anything they could put into their mouth or pull down on themselves. Here are a few specific things to look for:\\nInstall gates at the top of staircases.\\nHide electrical cords and plug outlets.\\nSecure hazardous chemicals in locked or out-of-reach places.\\nLock firearms in appropriate storage.\\nStore small or sharp objects out of your child's reach.\\nInstall safety latches or locks on your cabinets and drawers.\\nUse anchors to keep heavy furniture from tipping over.\\n1-6. Invest in disaster insurance.\\nThere's no way to know when a disaster might occur and potentially cause major damage to your home. However, if you have disaster insurance, you may be covered, which could protect you from being out in the cold.\\nFor instance, if you own your own home, homeowner's insurance might pay for part or all of the damage in the event of major storms, fire, or other catastrophic events.\\nIf you rent your home, renter's insurance might replace the contents of your home if something happens.\\n2. Out at Night\\n2-1. Carry a cellphone in case of an emergency.\\nWhen you're going out at night, even if you're just going around the corner, it's a good idea to carry some form of communication. That way, if anything unexpected happens, you'll be able to get in touch with someone who can help you. It's also a good idea to make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave home.\\nYou might also want to set up location services on your phone so it can be tracked if it's lost or stolen, or if something happens to you.\\nIf you have a late-model smartphone, it may be smartest to keep it tucked in your pocket or purse unless you need to use it. That way, it won't attract muggers.\\n2-2. Travel in groups when you're walking.\\nIt's usually not a good idea to walk by yourself late at night, no matter who you are. That could make you a target for someone with bad intentions. It's better if you can walk with at least one other person—but the more people you're around, the safer you'll tend to be.\\nIf you must walk alone, stick to well-lit areas, avoid high-crime areas, and get where you're going as quickly as possible. Call someone to let them know your travel plans, as soon as possible.\\nIf you go out drinking, make sure you get rides figured out before it gets late. If you end up downtown at 2 am without a plan for getting home, you might end up in a sketchy situation.\\n2-3. Let people know where you're going.\\nWhen you go out at night, tell someone where you're going and when you're likely to be back. At the very least, you'll keep people from worrying about you. In an emergency, though, that could be really important information.\\nIf you're going somewhere unfamiliar, like on a first date with someone you don't know well, you might ask a friend to check in with you about once an hour or so.\\n2-4. Learn to defend yourself confidently.\\nThe best way to win a fight is to avoid it entirely. However, if you do find yourself in a situation where you need to defend yourself, you'll be a lot more confident if you know what to do. Taking even a few beginners' self-defense classes can help you learn techniques you could use in the event of an attack.\\nAvoid physical confrontations at all costs. The best way to win a fight is to avoid it entirely.\\n2-5. Consider carrying some personal defense.\\nIf you have to be alone at night, pepper spray or mace can be an effective safety tool against threats like assailants or stray dogs. They can also make you feel more safe and confident—and projecting that energy may make you less of a target. However, go through some type of training to learn how to properly use these items before you start carrying them. Otherwise, they can be easily used against you.\\nCheck your local laws—in some areas, you need certain training to be able to legally carry these types of self-defense.\\nCarrying concealed weapons like guns and knives can be more dangerous than safe, but if that's an option you want to use, enroll in a personal defense course so you can learn to defend yourself safely. You'll also need a permit to carry weapons legally.\\nKeep in mind you can't carry concealed weapons in places like schools or government buildings.\\n3. Online\\n3-1. Choose secure passwords.\\nNever use obvious passwords like \\\"password\\\" or \\\"12345.\\\" Hackers use software that can get past these types of common passwords quickly and effectively, making them as useless as having no password at all. Choose secure passwords with a mix of letters, numbers, and special symbols for the best password.\\nDon't use the exact same password for every site. That way, even if a hacker does get your password for one site, they won't be able to use it anywhere else.\\nConsider using a password manager that will create a unique password for every site you log into.\\n3-2. Log out of sites when you're done using them.\\nAlways log out of any website that requires you to log in. This includes email sites, social networking, and other sites you wouldn't want someone else to access. This is especially true on public computers, but it's a good idea to do it on your personal computer as well, to be safe.\\n3-3. Keep private information to yourself.\\nNever give out identifiable information such as your full name, address, phone number, email, or credit card number to anyone on the internet. That includes people in chat rooms and message boards, through your email, or on Twitter or Facebook.\\nControl your privacy settings so that absolutely nothing that you post is public to anyone who you haven't approved. Going to the effort to restrict everything so that can keep prying eyes away from your posts and pictures is worth it to feel safe.\\nIf you have to enter in anything private on a website, verify it's a site you trust. Also, look for a lock signal next to the name of the site in the search bar—that indicates the site is secure.\\n3-4. Read the terms and conditions.\\nBefore you sign up to any site, read the terms and conditions—especially if it's a site where you'll be paying for something. Go through all of the fine print to make sure that you're not agreeing to any terms you're not aware of. It may be tedious, but it's worth the extra measure of safety.\\nFor example, if you don't read the terms, you might accidentally sign up for a recurring charge when you only meant to make a one-time purchase. Or, you could consent to having your personal data sold to a third party without realizing it.\\n4. For Kids\\n4-1. Don't take dangerous dares.\\nIt can seem hard to say no to your friends, but if someone dares you to do something that's unsafe, it's really important that you stand up for yourself. Taking a dare can sometimes have serious consequences, so trust your instincts. \\nFor instance, if a friend dares you to run across a busy road, say something like, \\\"I'm not doing that, and you shouldn't either. Let's go do something else instead.\\\"\\n4-2. Say no to drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.\\nDon't let the people around you bully you into trying drugs, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes. These substances can all be harmful—especially to kids and teens. That's because your brain and body are still developing, so you could end up doing real damage to yourself.\\nIt might not seem like a big deal at the time, but taking drugs can do long-term damage to your brain, heart, and other parts of your body.\\nYou should also tell a trusted adult that someone offered you something illegal.\\n4-3. Stick with friends who share your values.\\nIf you hang out with people who have really different values than you, they're going to be more likely to pressure you into things you aren't comfortable with. For instance, if school is important to you but not to your friends, they might pressure you to skip school or hang out with them instead of doing your homework.\\nIt also helps to have a lot of different friends. That way, if one friend is pushing you to do something you know you shouldn't, you can just spend time with someone else, instead.\\n4-4. Always tell an adult where you're going.\\nNever leave your house without letting your parents or guardians know first. Tell them where you're going, who you're going with, and when you expect to be home.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Hey Mom, Brit wanted to know if I could come over after school today, is that okay? His dad will pick us up from school and bring me home by 6:00.\\\"\\nAlso, if you're at school, never leave the school grounds without permission.\\n4-5. Never accept rides from anyone you don't know.\\nAbsolutely never get into the car with a stranger—even if they say they know you or your parents. If a stranger does try to coax you into their car, run in the opposite direction and scream as loud as you can until you find an adult you can trust.\\nAlso, don't get into a car with someone you do know unless you have a parent's permission.\\n4-6. Don't go places alone.\\nWhen you're going places, you'll be a lot of safer if you have at least one other friend with you. If you can, try to stick with a group of friends—this will help keep you all safer.\\nDo this no matter where you're going, whether it's to the park, the pool, the mall, or even just walking around the block.\\nThis is especially important at night—although if you can, try to stick to going places during the daytime, when it's easier to see what's going on.\\n4-7. Don't take side routes home.\\nIf you're walking to or from school, stick to a routine path that you're familiar with. That way, it will be easy for your parents to find you if you don't make it home on time.\\nFor instance, if you take an unfamiliar path through the woods and you slip and hurt your ankle, it will be a lot harder for anyone to figure out where you are.\\n4-8. Practice safety drills regularly.\\nAt home, have regular fire drills so everyone knows exactly what to do. At school, pay close attention during drills so you'll know exactly how to evacuate in case there's an emergency.\\n5. Health & Wellness\\n5-1. Avoid people who are sick.\\nIf you know or suspect that someone else is sick, keep your distance from them. Stand at least 6 ft (1.8 m) away if possible—that way, even if they sneeze or cough, their germs will be less likely to reach you.\\nIn the case of a pandemic like COVID-19, it may not always be possible to tell when someone else is sick. In that case, wearing a mask may help prevent the spread of germs that could make you ill.\\nAlso, avoid sharing personal items with other people—don't drink or eat after them, for instance.\\n5-2. Wash your hands frequently.\\nOne of the best ways to keep from getting sick is to wash your hands often throughout the day. Use soap and warm water, and wash for at least 20 seconds. Be sure to wash the palms of your hands, backs of your hands, between your fingers, under your fingernails, and around the base of your thumbs each time you wash.\\nBe especially sure to wash your hands before you eat or prepare food, and after you cough, sneeze, go to the bathroom, or touch a dirty surface.\\nIf you can't get to soap and water, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer. However, this won't clean your hands, so you should still wash them when you get a chance.\\n5-3. Clean high-touch surfaces every day.\\nUse a disinfecting wipe or spray to clean things that are frequently touched in your home every day. For instance, every afternoon you might wipe down your countertop and table, as well as all of your doorknobs and the handles on your fridge, sink, and toilets.\\nThis is a good practice to get into every day, but it's especially important when someone in your home is sick.\\nIf you work in an office, it's a good idea to sanitize surfaces in the public areas—like the break room—before you touch them, as well.\\n5-4. Prepare meals safely to avoid food-borne illness.\\nGetting sick from the food you eat is no fun at all. To avoid that, follow some safety guidelines in the kitchen. Here are a few examples:\\nWash your hands frequently while you prepare food.\\nKeep your food prep surfaces and utensils clean—wash them frequently or switch to a new one after you handle a food like raw meat.\\nAlways wash fruits and vegetables before you eat them.\\nCook foods (especially things like fish, meat, seafood, and eggs) to a safe internal temperature.\\nDon't leave food sitting at room temperature. Eat it promptly or put it in the refrigerator.\\n5-5. Get vaccinated against illnesses.\\nVaccines are a really important way to keep from getting dangerous diseases, so talk to your doctor about what you need. Make sure your vaccines are up-to-date, also—some vaccines, like the flu shot, need to be repeated every year.\\nVaccines for children are especially important, as they protect against childhood illnesses like measles, mumps, and rubella.\\n5-6. Try not to touch your mouth or nose.\\nIt can be tough, but to keep yourself safe from germs, get in the habit of keeping your hands away from your face. If you touch a surface that had germs on it, then you touch your eyes, nose, or mouth, you could get infected with those germs.\\nIf you do need to touch your face—like you're putting on makeup—wash your hands first.\\nTips\\nIf something bad happens to you, tell your parents about it. Don't try to be brave and carry it around inside; you will need to at least talk about it and something may need to be done about any person involved.\\nHeed your parents' advice about places that aren't safe to be.\\nWhen you head out, tell your parents where you're going. That way they can be reassured they know where you are and can find you quickly if needed.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Like it or not, the world can sometimes be a dangerous place. However, you don't have to be afraid all the time—just make safety a big priority in your life. When you're prepared and protected, you'll feel a lot more confident as you go about your day, whether you're at home, out with friends, surfing the web, or going to school. Even better, these precautions are usually pretty easy—they just require a little planning!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"At Home\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep a first aid kit handy.\", \"描述\": \"To make sure your home is as safe and prepared as possible, it's a good idea to keep a quality first aid kit on hand for emergencies. For an easy option, buy one that comes pre-packaged with everything you need. However, you can also assemble one yourself and keep it in a tackle box or another plastic case. If you do that, make sure it includes:\\nClean bandages and gauze\\nIsopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide\\nAntibacterial ointment\\nOTC painkillers\\nSurgical tape\\nAntibiotics\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stock up on supplies in case of an emergency.\", \"描述\": \"Bad weather and other disasters can hit without much notice, so it's a good idea to make sure you're prepared year-round just in case. A few things you should always have on hand include:\\nBatteries and sturdy flashlights\\nPocketknife\\nNeedles and thread\\nCanned goods and other nonperishable items\\nLots of water\\nMatches or lighters\\nRadio\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Protect your home against the risk of fire.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you're a homeowner or a renter, it's important to make sure your whole family knows what to do in case there's a fire. Here are a few things you can do that could help protect your home from fire damage:\\nInstall smoke detectors and test them regularly.\\nKeep a fire extinguisher in your home. Read the directions so you'll know how to use it if there's an emergency, and replace it when it expires.\\nUnplug any electrical devices that you're not using and make sure your wiring is up to date.\\nDevelop an escape plan and practice it with your family.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your home less attractive to burglars.\", \"描述\": \"Having someone break into your home can be really scary. You may not be able to prevent it completely, but there are a few things you can do to make your home less of a target:\\nHave a security system installed. Make it visible—place cameras where they can be seen and put a sign or sticker on your home that indicates what security company you're using.\\nOrganize a neighborhood watch.\\nInstall good-quality locks on your doors.\\nKeep your yard clean and well-lit.\\nKeep your car inside the garage if you have one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Child-proof your home if you have children.\", \"描述\": \"If you have kids or are planning on having kids, it's important to make your home as safe as possible. Get down on a child's eye-level and look for anything that they could hurt themselves on, including anything they could put into their mouth or pull down on themselves. Here are a few specific things to look for:\\nInstall gates at the top of staircases.\\nHide electrical cords and plug outlets.\\nSecure hazardous chemicals in locked or out-of-reach places.\\nLock firearms in appropriate storage.\\nStore small or sharp objects out of your child's reach.\\nInstall safety latches or locks on your cabinets and drawers.\\nUse anchors to keep heavy furniture from tipping over.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Invest in disaster insurance.\", \"描述\": \"There's no way to know when a disaster might occur and potentially cause major damage to your home. However, if you have disaster insurance, you may be covered, which could protect you from being out in the cold.\\nFor instance, if you own your own home, homeowner's insurance might pay for part or all of the damage in the event of major storms, fire, or other catastrophic events.\\nIf you rent your home, renter's insurance might replace the contents of your home if something happens.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Out at Night\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Carry a cellphone in case of an emergency.\", \"描述\": \"When you're going out at night, even if you're just going around the corner, it's a good idea to carry some form of communication. That way, if anything unexpected happens, you'll be able to get in touch with someone who can help you. It's also a good idea to make sure your phone is fully charged before you leave home.\\nYou might also want to set up location services on your phone so it can be tracked if it's lost or stolen, or if something happens to you.\\nIf you have a late-model smartphone, it may be smartest to keep it tucked in your pocket or purse unless you need to use it. That way, it won't attract muggers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Travel in groups when you're walking.\", \"描述\": \"It's usually not a good idea to walk by yourself late at night, no matter who you are. That could make you a target for someone with bad intentions. It's better if you can walk with at least one other person—but the more people you're around, the safer you'll tend to be.\\nIf you must walk alone, stick to well-lit areas, avoid high-crime areas, and get where you're going as quickly as possible. Call someone to let them know your travel plans, as soon as possible.\\nIf you go out drinking, make sure you get rides figured out before it gets late. If you end up downtown at 2 am without a plan for getting home, you might end up in a sketchy situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let people know where you're going.\", \"描述\": \"When you go out at night, tell someone where you're going and when you're likely to be back. At the very least, you'll keep people from worrying about you. In an emergency, though, that could be really important information.\\nIf you're going somewhere unfamiliar, like on a first date with someone you don't know well, you might ask a friend to check in with you about once an hour or so.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to defend yourself confidently.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to win a fight is to avoid it entirely. However, if you do find yourself in a situation where you need to defend yourself, you'll be a lot more confident if you know what to do. Taking even a few beginners' self-defense classes can help you learn techniques you could use in the event of an attack.\\nAvoid physical confrontations at all costs. The best way to win a fight is to avoid it entirely.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider carrying some personal defense.\", \"描述\": \"If you have to be alone at night, pepper spray or mace can be an effective safety tool against threats like assailants or stray dogs. They can also make you feel more safe and confident—and projecting that energy may make you less of a target. However, go through some type of training to learn how to properly use these items before you start carrying them. Otherwise, they can be easily used against you.\\nCheck your local laws—in some areas, you need certain training to be able to legally carry these types of self-defense.\\nCarrying concealed weapons like guns and knives can be more dangerous than safe, but if that's an option you want to use, enroll in a personal defense course so you can learn to defend yourself safely. You'll also need a permit to carry weapons legally.\\nKeep in mind you can't carry concealed weapons in places like schools or government buildings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Online\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose secure passwords.\", \"描述\": \"Never use obvious passwords like \\\"password\\\" or \\\"12345.\\\" Hackers use software that can get past these types of common passwords quickly and effectively, making them as useless as having no password at all. Choose secure passwords with a mix of letters, numbers, and special symbols for the best password.\\nDon't use the exact same password for every site. That way, even if a hacker does get your password for one site, they won't be able to use it anywhere else.\\nConsider using a password manager that will create a unique password for every site you log into.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Log out of sites when you're done using them.\", \"描述\": \"Always log out of any website that requires you to log in. This includes email sites, social networking, and other sites you wouldn't want someone else to access. This is especially true on public computers, but it's a good idea to do it on your personal computer as well, to be safe.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep private information to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Never give out identifiable information such as your full name, address, phone number, email, or credit card number to anyone on the internet. That includes people in chat rooms and message boards, through your email, or on Twitter or Facebook.\\nControl your privacy settings so that absolutely nothing that you post is public to anyone who you haven't approved. Going to the effort to restrict everything so that can keep prying eyes away from your posts and pictures is worth it to feel safe.\\nIf you have to enter in anything private on a website, verify it's a site you trust. Also, look for a lock signal next to the name of the site in the search bar—that indicates the site is secure.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Read the terms and conditions.\", \"描述\": \"Before you sign up to any site, read the terms and conditions—especially if it's a site where you'll be paying for something. Go through all of the fine print to make sure that you're not agreeing to any terms you're not aware of. It may be tedious, but it's worth the extra measure of safety.\\nFor example, if you don't read the terms, you might accidentally sign up for a recurring charge when you only meant to make a one-time purchase. Or, you could consent to having your personal data sold to a third party without realizing it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"For Kids\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't take dangerous dares.\", \"描述\": \"It can seem hard to say no to your friends, but if someone dares you to do something that's unsafe, it's really important that you stand up for yourself. Taking a dare can sometimes have serious consequences, so trust your instincts. \\nFor instance, if a friend dares you to run across a busy road, say something like, \\\"I'm not doing that, and you shouldn't either. Let's go do something else instead.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say no to drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.\", \"描述\": \"Don't let the people around you bully you into trying drugs, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes. These substances can all be harmful—especially to kids and teens. That's because your brain and body are still developing, so you could end up doing real damage to yourself.\\nIt might not seem like a big deal at the time, but taking drugs can do long-term damage to your brain, heart, and other parts of your body.\\nYou should also tell a trusted adult that someone offered you something illegal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stick with friends who share your values.\", \"描述\": \"If you hang out with people who have really different values than you, they're going to be more likely to pressure you into things you aren't comfortable with. For instance, if school is important to you but not to your friends, they might pressure you to skip school or hang out with them instead of doing your homework.\\nIt also helps to have a lot of different friends. That way, if one friend is pushing you to do something you know you shouldn't, you can just spend time with someone else, instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Always tell an adult where you're going.\", \"描述\": \"Never leave your house without letting your parents or guardians know first. Tell them where you're going, who you're going with, and when you expect to be home.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"Hey Mom, Brit wanted to know if I could come over after school today, is that okay? His dad will pick us up from school and bring me home by 6:00.\\\"\\nAlso, if you're at school, never leave the school grounds without permission.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Never accept rides from anyone you don't know.\", \"描述\": \"Absolutely never get into the car with a stranger—even if they say they know you or your parents. If a stranger does try to coax you into their car, run in the opposite direction and scream as loud as you can until you find an adult you can trust.\\nAlso, don't get into a car with someone you do know unless you have a parent's permission.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't go places alone.\", \"描述\": \"When you're going places, you'll be a lot of safer if you have at least one other friend with you. If you can, try to stick with a group of friends—this will help keep you all safer.\\nDo this no matter where you're going, whether it's to the park, the pool, the mall, or even just walking around the block.\\nThis is especially important at night—although if you can, try to stick to going places during the daytime, when it's easier to see what's going on.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't take side routes home.\", \"描述\": \"If you're walking to or from school, stick to a routine path that you're familiar with. That way, it will be easy for your parents to find you if you don't make it home on time.\\nFor instance, if you take an unfamiliar path through the woods and you slip and hurt your ankle, it will be a lot harder for anyone to figure out where you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Practice safety drills regularly.\", \"描述\": \"At home, have regular fire drills so everyone knows exactly what to do. At school, pay close attention during drills so you'll know exactly how to evacuate in case there's an emergency.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Health & Wellness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid people who are sick.\", \"描述\": \"If you know or suspect that someone else is sick, keep your distance from them. Stand at least 6 ft (1.8 m) away if possible—that way, even if they sneeze or cough, their germs will be less likely to reach you.\\nIn the case of a pandemic like COVID-19, it may not always be possible to tell when someone else is sick. In that case, wearing a mask may help prevent the spread of germs that could make you ill.\\nAlso, avoid sharing personal items with other people—don't drink or eat after them, for instance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wash your hands frequently.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to keep from getting sick is to wash your hands often throughout the day. Use soap and warm water, and wash for at least 20 seconds. Be sure to wash the palms of your hands, backs of your hands, between your fingers, under your fingernails, and around the base of your thumbs each time you wash.\\nBe especially sure to wash your hands before you eat or prepare food, and after you cough, sneeze, go to the bathroom, or touch a dirty surface.\\nIf you can't get to soap and water, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer. However, this won't clean your hands, so you should still wash them when you get a chance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean high-touch surfaces every day.\", \"描述\": \"Use a disinfecting wipe or spray to clean things that are frequently touched in your home every day. For instance, every afternoon you might wipe down your countertop and table, as well as all of your doorknobs and the handles on your fridge, sink, and toilets.\\nThis is a good practice to get into every day, but it's especially important when someone in your home is sick.\\nIf you work in an office, it's a good idea to sanitize surfaces in the public areas—like the break room—before you touch them, as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare meals safely to avoid food-borne illness.\", \"描述\": \"Getting sick from the food you eat is no fun at all. To avoid that, follow some safety guidelines in the kitchen. Here are a few examples:\\nWash your hands frequently while you prepare food.\\nKeep your food prep surfaces and utensils clean—wash them frequently or switch to a new one after you handle a food like raw meat.\\nAlways wash fruits and vegetables before you eat them.\\nCook foods (especially things like fish, meat, seafood, and eggs) to a safe internal temperature.\\nDon't leave food sitting at room temperature. Eat it promptly or put it in the refrigerator.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get vaccinated against illnesses.\", \"描述\": \"Vaccines are a really important way to keep from getting dangerous diseases, so talk to your doctor about what you need. Make sure your vaccines are up-to-date, also—some vaccines, like the flu shot, need to be repeated every year.\\nVaccines for children are especially important, as they protect against childhood illnesses like measles, mumps, and rubella.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Try not to touch your mouth or nose.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tough, but to keep yourself safe from germs, get in the habit of keeping your hands away from your face. If you touch a surface that had germs on it, then you touch your eyes, nose, or mouth, you could get infected with those germs.\\nIf you do need to touch your face—like you're putting on makeup—wash your hands first.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If something bad happens to you, tell your parents about it. Don't try to be brave and carry it around inside; you will need to at least talk about it and something may need to be done about any person involved.\\n\", \"Heed your parents' advice about places that aren't safe to be.\\n\", \"When you head out, tell your parents where you're going. That way they can be reassured they know where you are and can find you quickly if needed.\\n\"]}]}}",
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4,113 | How to Be Safe Around Horses | 1. Safety Equipment and Setup
1-1. Wear short zip up boots that are not steel-toed.
If a horse steps on a steel-toed boot, the metal in the front could slice into your toes. To protect your feet from a horse possibly stepping on you, choose boots made of firm leather. Soft leather boots, or tennis shoes, won't protect your feet at all. If you are riding, make sure your boots have a heel (usually about 2" high). Don't wear lace up boots. The hooks will get stuck in the stirrups.
Weight varies widely depending on your horse's size and breed, but typically falls between 880 to 1,870 pounds (400 to 850 kg). Having a quarter of that on your toes is still rather heavy, so take care when choosing safe boots.
1-2. Wear a helmet while riding.
Choose a riding helmet with a retaining harness, and evidence that it's met safety requirements made no more than ten years ago. Look for labels from the SEI (Safety Equipment Institute), American Society for Testing & Materials (ASTM), or Kitemark.
Some SEI-approved helmets include large ventilation holes that would not pass other tests, due to a possible increase in harm from penetrating injuries.
Replace the helmet at least once every five years, and whenever it receives a major impact or shows signs of wear.
1-3. Wear safe, visible clothing.
Avoid baggy clothing, which can get tangled in the horse's equipment. Most importantly, make sure you are easily visible before riding near roads. Fluorescent vests are recommended, especially during heavy rain, fog, or low light conditions.
If you are a beginning rider, learning to jump, or entering competitions, wear a body protector. The protector should fit comfortably, be less than five years old, and be approved by a safety standard organization.
Comfortable gloves and seam-free underwear and legwear can prevent sores and discomfort.
1-4. Remove loose accessories.
Anything dangling or removable can startle the horse or catch on his equipment. Take the following precautions:
Use Peacock Iron Safety Stirrups. The safety stirrups will prevent you from hurting your feet and getting dragged. The stirrups include a break away band. Make sure you have extra bands as they break easily. Put your foot in your stirrup with the band on the outside.
Remove all jewelry. Even tight rings and bracelets can get snagged.
Tie back loose hair.
Have non slip stirrup pads, a non slip girth, and a non slip saddle pad. The non slip girth and non slip saddle pad will keep your saddle from slipping. The non slip stirrup pads are designed to keep your feet from slipping while you're riding.
Wear a jumping vest. The jumping vest will protect your ribs and organs if you fall.
Wear an air vest. The air vest can be worn over your jumping vest. The air vest will protect your neck, chest, back, sides, and hips.
Use a Pro Buck Neck Guard. This can be worn at the front of your neck if you have an air vest. That will allow you to avoid breaking your neck.
Get a Booma Rein. A Booma Rein is designed to keep you from losing your reins. This will allow you and your horse to avoid getting tangle in the reins.
Buy an RS-Tor Rider Security Aid Handle. The RS-Tor is designed to look like a crop. The RS-Tor can stop a bucking horse and prevent a fatal accident. The RS-Tor helps you get your horse under control if it runs away with you. If you're unable to avoid falling The RS-Tor will allow you to have a controlled fall.
Safety Cross Ties and a Breakaway Halter are a must. It's just as important for your horse to be safe as it is for you to be safe. You can use baling twine to attach your Safety Cross Ties to your barn. The baling twine will last longer than chains.
Buy some leg boots for your horse. Make sure you get boots for your horses front and back legs. The boots must offer total protection for their legs and have sock absorbency. This will prevent your horse from getting a broken leg.
Always ride on a lunge line with a riding buddy to hold the lunge line. The lunge line will allow you to have extra control. This way if something goes wrong you'll be able to get off right away. Always ride with side walkers and ask them to hold onto your ankle. This will keep you from falling. The side walkers will be able to catch you if you fall.
Never ride alone. Riding alone will put you and your horse at risk for getting killed.
Don't ride at night. It's harder for you to see in the dark.
No riding in the road. You or your horse could get hit by a car.
Check the weather before you ride. You don't want to get caught in a storm. It's too risky to ride if it's too hot or too cold.
Go to the bathroom before you ride.
1-5. Check the tack frequently.
Check that all tack is the correct size and shape for the horse. Check all tack for wear and tear. This includes any cracking of stretching of the leather and the quality of the stitching. Anything that is close to breaking or snapping is a safety risk. Check before you mount, then again after riding a short distance.
The cinch should be tight enough to prevent the horse catching its leg, but not uncomfortably tight. Check again after mounting, after a few minutes of riding, and every few hours afterward during a long ride.
You should be able to hold the reins without draping them over the horse's neck, or wrapping them around your hand.
Keep all tack clean.
Make sure that you have your stirrups set at the right length. When riding, you should be able to let your weight fall onto your heel.
1-6. Consider a neck strap.
During a jump or sudden movement, a neck strap is easier to hold onto than the horse's mane, particularly if the mane is braided. While neck straps are most often used for beginning riders, there is no harm in an additional piece of safety equipment. Nowadays, they are even used by some professionals.
1-7. Keep human and equine first aid kits.
Keep at least one of each in your stables, and an extra one in the trailer if your horse is often on the road. Add a sturdy piece of paper with the contact information for a nearby veterinarian, human hospital, and (if possible) horse ambulance.
Make sure someone in the area is trained in basic human first aid and equine first aid.
1-8. Close gates and stable doors behind you.
Check that all gates are closed before you let a horse into a field. Never let your horse loose near dangerous areas, such as roads or areas of treacherous ground.
1-9. Install horse-proof latches.
Many horses learn how to undo simple latches and sliding bolts. Consider an eye bolt and/or a commercial "horse proof" latch. For very bored or intelligent horses, add additional latches and/or a wooden shelf to block the horse's access to the latch.
If your horse is constantly trying to escape, she may need more companionship, exercise, or time spent outdoors.
2. Handling Horses from the Ground
2-1. Learn with experienced help.
Beginners should not be around horses without close supervision. As you grow in confidence and skill, you can handle a horse by yourself, but there should still be people close enough to hear or see if something goes wrong.
2-2. Approach from the side.
Horses have blind spots directly in front and directly behind. Approach from the side so the horse knows you're coming.
Even in a small stall, try to get the horse to turn around. If the horse is tied up, approach from an angle, not directly behind.
Speak to the horse calmly as you approach, to get the horse's attention.
2-3. Stand near the horse and keep one hand on it.
Your hands are your primary communication tools with your horse. When grooming or tacking up, rest your hand on the horse's shoulder or hindquarters. This tells the horse you are there even if he cannot see you. It also gives you the best opportunity to push yourself away should the horse choose to kick. As you groom or tack up the horse, stand next to the horse's side with one hand on the horse whenever possible.
Pay attention to a sudden increase in tension. This may lead to a kick or lunge.
2-4. Tie up the horse before grooming or handling.
Tie the rope at the height of the horse's withers (the base of his neck), and make it no longer than your arm. Use a quick release knot so the knot can easily be undone. Never put your finger in the knot as you tie, since the horse could pull it closed.
Ideally, you should tie the horse to a "panic snap," not directly to a tie ring. The panic snap is a length of twine or string that the horse can easily break with a strong pull. Without a panic strap, the horse may fall if it gets startled, potentially injuring itself or you.
Never tie the horse using its bridle reins.
2-5. Be cautious when moving behind the horse.
Moving behind a horse makes you vulnerable to a powerful kick. If there is no room to walk outside its kicking range, walk right next to the horse, with one hand on the rump, and keep talking so the horse knows where you are. At this short distance, a kick will have much less force.
2-6. Avoid ducking in front of the horse unless he is trained for this.
Moving or standing in front of the horse is safer, but there are still risks. Never duck under the horse's belly (barrel), neck, or tie rope. This is almost guaranteed to spook him as your movement is quick, low and out of his sight. Both actions leave you wide open to being kicked and trampled on. From the front, he is also liable to rear and kick down on you.
2-7. Lead the horse by a rope
Don't grab the halter itself, or you could be pulled off your feet when the horse startles. Never coil the rope around your hand or other body part, or let it drag on the ground where it could catch your feet. If this happens, the horse could pull the rope tight and cause major injury.
Fold the rope back over itself instead to reduce its length. Hold the rope by the middle of the folds, so you can easily drop it.
Never loop extra lead rope around your hand––your hand can be broken or even taken off if the horse spooks and tries to bolt, or you could be dragged behind the horse.
Don't get into a pulling contest with a horse. The horse is much stronger than you and could easily pull you off your feet.
2-8. Feed treats from your flat palm.
If the horse is very excited, put the food in a bucket instead. It may not be a good idea to feed the horse by hand regularly, as it may encourage nipping.
2-9. Handle a horse's legs carefully.
If you need to examine the horse's hoof or leg, let the horse see what's happening and adjust to it. Put your hand on horse's shoulder or hindquarter, then move it slowly toward the leg. Squeeze the fetlock gently to get the horse to lift its foot, saying “up” at same time to teach this command.
While holding horse's leg or foot, do not kneel or sit. Squat instead so you can easily jump away.
2-10. Be cautious around multiple horses.
Pay attention to other horses nearby, not just the one you're handling. Don't walk behind other horses, or stand too near their feet.
In particular, avoid carrying food to the middle of a group of horses. They may crowd around and trap you in their excitement.
2-11. Trailer a horse safely
Training a horse to enter a trailer for the first time can take weeks of patient communication, convincing the horse enter on its own first. Even when handling an experienced horse, make sure to tie or untie the horse with the trailer door closed. This prevents the horse from trying to exit before you are finished.
3. Riding a Horse
3-1. Ride with supervision when appropriate.
Beginning riders should always ride with a more experienced rider, although they do not need to share a horse. Riding in company is also a good idea if you are practicing jumps.
3-2. Lunge an energetic horse before riding
If a horse is acting wild or full of energy, have an experienced rider lunge (longe) the horse first.
3-3. Stay calm.
Speak and behave calmly in the presence of horses. Horses work best with patient, quiet people. Never shout around the horse, as he may spook at the noise.
3-4. Be on the alert at all times.
Check your surroundings constantly for possible sources of fear. This may include running children, an approaching car, or even a plastic bag blowing in the wind. If the horse's eyes widen and its ears point straight up, it may be scared. If this happens, calmly talk to the horse and try to move somewhere the horse can calm down.
Desensitize the horse in a familiar setting if it is easily scared.
3-5. Be cautious when introducing unfamiliar horses.
Horses are not always friendly when they meet for the first time. Touching their noses together can cause them to bite or strike.
3-6. Let the horse walk over difficult terrain.
Let the horse pick the pace when traveling over slippery ground, including ice, snow, and mud. When riding up or down a steep hill, keep the horse to a walking pace, even if it wants to go faster.
Sticking to a walk is also a good idea at night or during low-visibility weather.
3-7. Stay back from other horses.
When near other riders, either ride abreast or stay far enough apart to avoid kicks. When looking between your horse's ears, you should be able to see the hind hooves of the horse in front of you. That said, when riding with a group, don't allow a horse to lag so far behind it has to gallop to catch up.
A red ribbon on the tail is a sign of a kicker in some areas. Stay well back from these horses.
When at the front of a group, shout back to inform other riders of possible dangers. These include broken glass, poor footing, and branches at head height.
3-8. Learn how to handle a runaway horse.
Losing control of your horse can be a dangerous occurrence, especially if you don't know what to do. In most cases, the safest course of action is to stay on the horse and let it run until it calms down or tires out. Pulling back on the reins can limit the horse's vision and cause it to lose its footing.
If you practice with the horse beforehand, you can train it to step to one side, slowing it down. Without this training, pulling back on one rein may just limit the horse's vision and balance, or cause it to turn without slowing down.
Do not jump off the horse unless it is headed to a road, cliff, or branches too low for you to safely pass under.
3-9. Handle the horse safely after riding.
Since both you and the horse are a little more tired after a ride, it's helpful to follow a post-ride checklist to make sure everything gets done. Try this one:
Slow to a walk before approaching the stable.
After dismounting, tie the horse with a quick release knot.
Give the horse a wash and groom.
Lead the horse back to the pasture or stall. Teach him early on to not rush off, but to stand calmly beside you with the halter on.
Remove the halter. Pat and praise the horse for calm behavior. He should be able to remain standing by your side until you turn to leave.
Tips
Learn how to tie a horse safely without having access to ties. Sometimes you may need to know how to do this when out riding and you need to stop somewhere. Don't tie your horse to anything he can move, such as hollow items, fence boards, or door handles.
If you're showing horses, you have a range of additional safety issues to consider, such as adjusting to new stalls and being around large, noisy crowds. Talk to experienced show-goers for advice.
Warnings
Be especially careful around rescued or formerly abused horses. They may have a dislike of humans and are often more dangerous than horses that have been handled the right way all their lives.
Never agree to be locked in a stable with a horse present.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Safety Equipment and Setup\\n1-1. Wear short zip up boots that are not steel-toed.\\nIf a horse steps on a steel-toed boot, the metal in the front could slice into your toes. To protect your feet from a horse possibly stepping on you, choose boots made of firm leather. Soft leather boots, or tennis shoes, won't protect your feet at all. If you are riding, make sure your boots have a heel (usually about 2\\\" high). Don't wear lace up boots. The hooks will get stuck in the stirrups. \\nWeight varies widely depending on your horse's size and breed, but typically falls between 880 to 1,870 pounds (400 to 850 kg). Having a quarter of that on your toes is still rather heavy, so take care when choosing safe boots.\\n1-2. Wear a helmet while riding.\\nChoose a riding helmet with a retaining harness, and evidence that it's met safety requirements made no more than ten years ago. Look for labels from the SEI (Safety Equipment Institute), American Society for Testing & Materials (ASTM), or Kitemark.\\nSome SEI-approved helmets include large ventilation holes that would not pass other tests, due to a possible increase in harm from penetrating injuries.\\nReplace the helmet at least once every five years, and whenever it receives a major impact or shows signs of wear.\\n1-3. Wear safe, visible clothing.\\nAvoid baggy clothing, which can get tangled in the horse's equipment. Most importantly, make sure you are easily visible before riding near roads. Fluorescent vests are recommended, especially during heavy rain, fog, or low light conditions.\\nIf you are a beginning rider, learning to jump, or entering competitions, wear a body protector. The protector should fit comfortably, be less than five years old, and be approved by a safety standard organization.\\nComfortable gloves and seam-free underwear and legwear can prevent sores and discomfort.\\n1-4. Remove loose accessories.\\nAnything dangling or removable can startle the horse or catch on his equipment. Take the following precautions:\\nUse Peacock Iron Safety Stirrups. The safety stirrups will prevent you from hurting your feet and getting dragged. The stirrups include a break away band. Make sure you have extra bands as they break easily. Put your foot in your stirrup with the band on the outside.\\nRemove all jewelry. Even tight rings and bracelets can get snagged.\\nTie back loose hair.\\nHave non slip stirrup pads, a non slip girth, and a non slip saddle pad. The non slip girth and non slip saddle pad will keep your saddle from slipping. The non slip stirrup pads are designed to keep your feet from slipping while you're riding.\\nWear a jumping vest. The jumping vest will protect your ribs and organs if you fall.\\nWear an air vest. The air vest can be worn over your jumping vest. The air vest will protect your neck, chest, back, sides, and hips.\\nUse a Pro Buck Neck Guard. This can be worn at the front of your neck if you have an air vest. That will allow you to avoid breaking your neck.\\nGet a Booma Rein. A Booma Rein is designed to keep you from losing your reins. This will allow you and your horse to avoid getting tangle in the reins.\\nBuy an RS-Tor Rider Security Aid Handle. The RS-Tor is designed to look like a crop. The RS-Tor can stop a bucking horse and prevent a fatal accident. The RS-Tor helps you get your horse under control if it runs away with you. If you're unable to avoid falling The RS-Tor will allow you to have a controlled fall.\\nSafety Cross Ties and a Breakaway Halter are a must. It's just as important for your horse to be safe as it is for you to be safe. You can use baling twine to attach your Safety Cross Ties to your barn. The baling twine will last longer than chains.\\nBuy some leg boots for your horse. Make sure you get boots for your horses front and back legs. The boots must offer total protection for their legs and have sock absorbency. This will prevent your horse from getting a broken leg.\\nAlways ride on a lunge line with a riding buddy to hold the lunge line. The lunge line will allow you to have extra control. This way if something goes wrong you'll be able to get off right away. Always ride with side walkers and ask them to hold onto your ankle. This will keep you from falling. The side walkers will be able to catch you if you fall.\\nNever ride alone. Riding alone will put you and your horse at risk for getting killed.\\nDon't ride at night. It's harder for you to see in the dark.\\nNo riding in the road. You or your horse could get hit by a car.\\nCheck the weather before you ride. You don't want to get caught in a storm. It's too risky to ride if it's too hot or too cold.\\nGo to the bathroom before you ride.\\n1-5. Check the tack frequently.\\nCheck that all tack is the correct size and shape for the horse. Check all tack for wear and tear. This includes any cracking of stretching of the leather and the quality of the stitching. Anything that is close to breaking or snapping is a safety risk. Check before you mount, then again after riding a short distance.\\nThe cinch should be tight enough to prevent the horse catching its leg, but not uncomfortably tight. Check again after mounting, after a few minutes of riding, and every few hours afterward during a long ride.\\nYou should be able to hold the reins without draping them over the horse's neck, or wrapping them around your hand.\\nKeep all tack clean.\\nMake sure that you have your stirrups set at the right length. When riding, you should be able to let your weight fall onto your heel.\\n1-6. Consider a neck strap.\\nDuring a jump or sudden movement, a neck strap is easier to hold onto than the horse's mane, particularly if the mane is braided. While neck straps are most often used for beginning riders, there is no harm in an additional piece of safety equipment. Nowadays, they are even used by some professionals.\\n1-7. Keep human and equine first aid kits.\\nKeep at least one of each in your stables, and an extra one in the trailer if your horse is often on the road. Add a sturdy piece of paper with the contact information for a nearby veterinarian, human hospital, and (if possible) horse ambulance.\\nMake sure someone in the area is trained in basic human first aid and equine first aid.\\n1-8. Close gates and stable doors behind you.\\nCheck that all gates are closed before you let a horse into a field. Never let your horse loose near dangerous areas, such as roads or areas of treacherous ground.\\n1-9. Install horse-proof latches.\\nMany horses learn how to undo simple latches and sliding bolts. Consider an eye bolt and/or a commercial \\\"horse proof\\\" latch. For very bored or intelligent horses, add additional latches and/or a wooden shelf to block the horse's access to the latch.\\nIf your horse is constantly trying to escape, she may need more companionship, exercise, or time spent outdoors.\\n2. Handling Horses from the Ground\\n2-1. Learn with experienced help.\\nBeginners should not be around horses without close supervision. As you grow in confidence and skill, you can handle a horse by yourself, but there should still be people close enough to hear or see if something goes wrong.\\n2-2. Approach from the side.\\nHorses have blind spots directly in front and directly behind. Approach from the side so the horse knows you're coming.\\nEven in a small stall, try to get the horse to turn around. If the horse is tied up, approach from an angle, not directly behind.\\nSpeak to the horse calmly as you approach, to get the horse's attention.\\n2-3. Stand near the horse and keep one hand on it.\\nYour hands are your primary communication tools with your horse. When grooming or tacking up, rest your hand on the horse's shoulder or hindquarters. This tells the horse you are there even if he cannot see you. It also gives you the best opportunity to push yourself away should the horse choose to kick. As you groom or tack up the horse, stand next to the horse's side with one hand on the horse whenever possible.\\nPay attention to a sudden increase in tension. This may lead to a kick or lunge.\\n2-4. Tie up the horse before grooming or handling.\\nTie the rope at the height of the horse's withers (the base of his neck), and make it no longer than your arm. Use a quick release knot so the knot can easily be undone. Never put your finger in the knot as you tie, since the horse could pull it closed.\\nIdeally, you should tie the horse to a \\\"panic snap,\\\" not directly to a tie ring. The panic snap is a length of twine or string that the horse can easily break with a strong pull. Without a panic strap, the horse may fall if it gets startled, potentially injuring itself or you.\\nNever tie the horse using its bridle reins.\\n2-5. Be cautious when moving behind the horse.\\nMoving behind a horse makes you vulnerable to a powerful kick. If there is no room to walk outside its kicking range, walk right next to the horse, with one hand on the rump, and keep talking so the horse knows where you are. At this short distance, a kick will have much less force.\\n2-6. Avoid ducking in front of the horse unless he is trained for this.\\nMoving or standing in front of the horse is safer, but there are still risks. Never duck under the horse's belly (barrel), neck, or tie rope. This is almost guaranteed to spook him as your movement is quick, low and out of his sight. Both actions leave you wide open to being kicked and trampled on. From the front, he is also liable to rear and kick down on you.\\n2-7. Lead the horse by a rope\\nDon't grab the halter itself, or you could be pulled off your feet when the horse startles. Never coil the rope around your hand or other body part, or let it drag on the ground where it could catch your feet. If this happens, the horse could pull the rope tight and cause major injury.\\nFold the rope back over itself instead to reduce its length. Hold the rope by the middle of the folds, so you can easily drop it.\\nNever loop extra lead rope around your hand––your hand can be broken or even taken off if the horse spooks and tries to bolt, or you could be dragged behind the horse.\\nDon't get into a pulling contest with a horse. The horse is much stronger than you and could easily pull you off your feet.\\n2-8. Feed treats from your flat palm.\\nIf the horse is very excited, put the food in a bucket instead. It may not be a good idea to feed the horse by hand regularly, as it may encourage nipping.\\n2-9. Handle a horse's legs carefully.\\nIf you need to examine the horse's hoof or leg, let the horse see what's happening and adjust to it. Put your hand on horse's shoulder or hindquarter, then move it slowly toward the leg. Squeeze the fetlock gently to get the horse to lift its foot, saying “up” at same time to teach this command. \\nWhile holding horse's leg or foot, do not kneel or sit. Squat instead so you can easily jump away.\\n2-10. Be cautious around multiple horses.\\nPay attention to other horses nearby, not just the one you're handling. Don't walk behind other horses, or stand too near their feet.\\nIn particular, avoid carrying food to the middle of a group of horses. They may crowd around and trap you in their excitement.\\n2-11. Trailer a horse safely\\nTraining a horse to enter a trailer for the first time can take weeks of patient communication, convincing the horse enter on its own first. Even when handling an experienced horse, make sure to tie or untie the horse with the trailer door closed. This prevents the horse from trying to exit before you are finished.\\n3. Riding a Horse\\n3-1. Ride with supervision when appropriate.\\nBeginning riders should always ride with a more experienced rider, although they do not need to share a horse. Riding in company is also a good idea if you are practicing jumps.\\n3-2. Lunge an energetic horse before riding\\nIf a horse is acting wild or full of energy, have an experienced rider lunge (longe) the horse first.\\n3-3. Stay calm.\\nSpeak and behave calmly in the presence of horses. Horses work best with patient, quiet people. Never shout around the horse, as he may spook at the noise.\\n3-4. Be on the alert at all times.\\nCheck your surroundings constantly for possible sources of fear. This may include running children, an approaching car, or even a plastic bag blowing in the wind. If the horse's eyes widen and its ears point straight up, it may be scared. If this happens, calmly talk to the horse and try to move somewhere the horse can calm down.\\nDesensitize the horse in a familiar setting if it is easily scared.\\n3-5. Be cautious when introducing unfamiliar horses.\\nHorses are not always friendly when they meet for the first time. Touching their noses together can cause them to bite or strike.\\n3-6. Let the horse walk over difficult terrain.\\nLet the horse pick the pace when traveling over slippery ground, including ice, snow, and mud. When riding up or down a steep hill, keep the horse to a walking pace, even if it wants to go faster.\\nSticking to a walk is also a good idea at night or during low-visibility weather.\\n3-7. Stay back from other horses.\\nWhen near other riders, either ride abreast or stay far enough apart to avoid kicks. When looking between your horse's ears, you should be able to see the hind hooves of the horse in front of you. That said, when riding with a group, don't allow a horse to lag so far behind it has to gallop to catch up.\\nA red ribbon on the tail is a sign of a kicker in some areas. Stay well back from these horses.\\nWhen at the front of a group, shout back to inform other riders of possible dangers. These include broken glass, poor footing, and branches at head height.\\n3-8. Learn how to handle a runaway horse.\\nLosing control of your horse can be a dangerous occurrence, especially if you don't know what to do. In most cases, the safest course of action is to stay on the horse and let it run until it calms down or tires out. Pulling back on the reins can limit the horse's vision and cause it to lose its footing.\\nIf you practice with the horse beforehand, you can train it to step to one side, slowing it down. Without this training, pulling back on one rein may just limit the horse's vision and balance, or cause it to turn without slowing down.\\nDo not jump off the horse unless it is headed to a road, cliff, or branches too low for you to safely pass under.\\n3-9. Handle the horse safely after riding.\\nSince both you and the horse are a little more tired after a ride, it's helpful to follow a post-ride checklist to make sure everything gets done. Try this one:\\nSlow to a walk before approaching the stable.\\nAfter dismounting, tie the horse with a quick release knot.\\nGive the horse a wash and groom.\\nLead the horse back to the pasture or stall. Teach him early on to not rush off, but to stand calmly beside you with the halter on.\\nRemove the halter. Pat and praise the horse for calm behavior. He should be able to remain standing by your side until you turn to leave.\\nTips\\nLearn how to tie a horse safely without having access to ties. Sometimes you may need to know how to do this when out riding and you need to stop somewhere. Don't tie your horse to anything he can move, such as hollow items, fence boards, or door handles.\\nIf you're showing horses, you have a range of additional safety issues to consider, such as adjusting to new stalls and being around large, noisy crowds. Talk to experienced show-goers for advice.\\nWarnings\\nBe especially careful around rescued or formerly abused horses. They may have a dislike of humans and are often more dangerous than horses that have been handled the right way all their lives.\\nNever agree to be locked in a stable with a horse present.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Handling and riding a horse can be one of life's greatest pleasures. That said, they are powerful, often skittish animals that need to be handled correctly. Protect yourself and the horse from injury at all times, by following safe practices on the ground and in the saddle.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Safety Equipment and Setup\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wear short zip up boots that are not steel-toed.\", \"描述\": \"If a horse steps on a steel-toed boot, the metal in the front could slice into your toes. To protect your feet from a horse possibly stepping on you, choose boots made of firm leather. Soft leather boots, or tennis shoes, won't protect your feet at all. If you are riding, make sure your boots have a heel (usually about 2\\\" high). Don't wear lace up boots. The hooks will get stuck in the stirrups. \\nWeight varies widely depending on your horse's size and breed, but typically falls between 880 to 1,870 pounds (400 to 850 kg). Having a quarter of that on your toes is still rather heavy, so take care when choosing safe boots.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear a helmet while riding.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a riding helmet with a retaining harness, and evidence that it's met safety requirements made no more than ten years ago. Look for labels from the SEI (Safety Equipment Institute), American Society for Testing & Materials (ASTM), or Kitemark.\\nSome SEI-approved helmets include large ventilation holes that would not pass other tests, due to a possible increase in harm from penetrating injuries.\\nReplace the helmet at least once every five years, and whenever it receives a major impact or shows signs of wear.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wear safe, visible clothing.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid baggy clothing, which can get tangled in the horse's equipment. Most importantly, make sure you are easily visible before riding near roads. Fluorescent vests are recommended, especially during heavy rain, fog, or low light conditions.\\nIf you are a beginning rider, learning to jump, or entering competitions, wear a body protector. The protector should fit comfortably, be less than five years old, and be approved by a safety standard organization.\\nComfortable gloves and seam-free underwear and legwear can prevent sores and discomfort.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remove loose accessories.\", \"描述\": \"Anything dangling or removable can startle the horse or catch on his equipment. Take the following precautions:\\nUse Peacock Iron Safety Stirrups. The safety stirrups will prevent you from hurting your feet and getting dragged. The stirrups include a break away band. Make sure you have extra bands as they break easily. Put your foot in your stirrup with the band on the outside.\\nRemove all jewelry. Even tight rings and bracelets can get snagged.\\nTie back loose hair.\\nHave non slip stirrup pads, a non slip girth, and a non slip saddle pad. The non slip girth and non slip saddle pad will keep your saddle from slipping. The non slip stirrup pads are designed to keep your feet from slipping while you're riding.\\nWear a jumping vest. The jumping vest will protect your ribs and organs if you fall.\\nWear an air vest. The air vest can be worn over your jumping vest. The air vest will protect your neck, chest, back, sides, and hips.\\nUse a Pro Buck Neck Guard. This can be worn at the front of your neck if you have an air vest. That will allow you to avoid breaking your neck.\\nGet a Booma Rein. A Booma Rein is designed to keep you from losing your reins. This will allow you and your horse to avoid getting tangle in the reins.\\nBuy an RS-Tor Rider Security Aid Handle. The RS-Tor is designed to look like a crop. The RS-Tor can stop a bucking horse and prevent a fatal accident. The RS-Tor helps you get your horse under control if it runs away with you. If you're unable to avoid falling The RS-Tor will allow you to have a controlled fall.\\nSafety Cross Ties and a Breakaway Halter are a must. It's just as important for your horse to be safe as it is for you to be safe. You can use baling twine to attach your Safety Cross Ties to your barn. The baling twine will last longer than chains.\\nBuy some leg boots for your horse. Make sure you get boots for your horses front and back legs. The boots must offer total protection for their legs and have sock absorbency. This will prevent your horse from getting a broken leg.\\nAlways ride on a lunge line with a riding buddy to hold the lunge line. The lunge line will allow you to have extra control. This way if something goes wrong you'll be able to get off right away. Always ride with side walkers and ask them to hold onto your ankle. This will keep you from falling. The side walkers will be able to catch you if you fall.\\nNever ride alone. Riding alone will put you and your horse at risk for getting killed.\\nDon't ride at night. It's harder for you to see in the dark.\\nNo riding in the road. You or your horse could get hit by a car.\\nCheck the weather before you ride. You don't want to get caught in a storm. It's too risky to ride if it's too hot or too cold.\\nGo to the bathroom before you ride.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check the tack frequently.\", \"描述\": \"Check that all tack is the correct size and shape for the horse. Check all tack for wear and tear. This includes any cracking of stretching of the leather and the quality of the stitching. Anything that is close to breaking or snapping is a safety risk. Check before you mount, then again after riding a short distance.\\nThe cinch should be tight enough to prevent the horse catching its leg, but not uncomfortably tight. Check again after mounting, after a few minutes of riding, and every few hours afterward during a long ride.\\nYou should be able to hold the reins without draping them over the horse's neck, or wrapping them around your hand.\\nKeep all tack clean.\\nMake sure that you have your stirrups set at the right length. When riding, you should be able to let your weight fall onto your heel.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Consider a neck strap.\", \"描述\": \"During a jump or sudden movement, a neck strap is easier to hold onto than the horse's mane, particularly if the mane is braided. While neck straps are most often used for beginning riders, there is no harm in an additional piece of safety equipment. Nowadays, they are even used by some professionals.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep human and equine first aid kits.\", \"描述\": \"Keep at least one of each in your stables, and an extra one in the trailer if your horse is often on the road. Add a sturdy piece of paper with the contact information for a nearby veterinarian, human hospital, and (if possible) horse ambulance.\\nMake sure someone in the area is trained in basic human first aid and equine first aid.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Close gates and stable doors behind you.\", \"描述\": \"Check that all gates are closed before you let a horse into a field. Never let your horse loose near dangerous areas, such as roads or areas of treacherous ground.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Install horse-proof latches.\", \"描述\": \"Many horses learn how to undo simple latches and sliding bolts. Consider an eye bolt and/or a commercial \\\"horse proof\\\" latch. For very bored or intelligent horses, add additional latches and/or a wooden shelf to block the horse's access to the latch.\\nIf your horse is constantly trying to escape, she may need more companionship, exercise, or time spent outdoors.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Handling Horses from the Ground\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn with experienced help.\", \"描述\": \"Beginners should not be around horses without close supervision. As you grow in confidence and skill, you can handle a horse by yourself, but there should still be people close enough to hear or see if something goes wrong.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approach from the side.\", \"描述\": \"Horses have blind spots directly in front and directly behind. Approach from the side so the horse knows you're coming.\\nEven in a small stall, try to get the horse to turn around. If the horse is tied up, approach from an angle, not directly behind.\\nSpeak to the horse calmly as you approach, to get the horse's attention.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stand near the horse and keep one hand on it.\", \"描述\": \"Your hands are your primary communication tools with your horse. When grooming or tacking up, rest your hand on the horse's shoulder or hindquarters. This tells the horse you are there even if he cannot see you. It also gives you the best opportunity to push yourself away should the horse choose to kick. As you groom or tack up the horse, stand next to the horse's side with one hand on the horse whenever possible.\\nPay attention to a sudden increase in tension. This may lead to a kick or lunge.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tie up the horse before grooming or handling.\", \"描述\": \"Tie the rope at the height of the horse's withers (the base of his neck), and make it no longer than your arm. Use a quick release knot so the knot can easily be undone. Never put your finger in the knot as you tie, since the horse could pull it closed.\\nIdeally, you should tie the horse to a \\\"panic snap,\\\" not directly to a tie ring. The panic snap is a length of twine or string that the horse can easily break with a strong pull. Without a panic strap, the horse may fall if it gets startled, potentially injuring itself or you.\\nNever tie the horse using its bridle reins.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be cautious when moving behind the horse.\", \"描述\": \"Moving behind a horse makes you vulnerable to a powerful kick. If there is no room to walk outside its kicking range, walk right next to the horse, with one hand on the rump, and keep talking so the horse knows where you are. At this short distance, a kick will have much less force.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid ducking in front of the horse unless he is trained for this.\", \"描述\": \"Moving or standing in front of the horse is safer, but there are still risks. Never duck under the horse's belly (barrel), neck, or tie rope. This is almost guaranteed to spook him as your movement is quick, low and out of his sight. Both actions leave you wide open to being kicked and trampled on. From the front, he is also liable to rear and kick down on you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Lead the horse by a rope\", \"描述\": \"Don't grab the halter itself, or you could be pulled off your feet when the horse startles. Never coil the rope around your hand or other body part, or let it drag on the ground where it could catch your feet. If this happens, the horse could pull the rope tight and cause major injury.\\nFold the rope back over itself instead to reduce its length. Hold the rope by the middle of the folds, so you can easily drop it.\\nNever loop extra lead rope around your hand––your hand can be broken or even taken off if the horse spooks and tries to bolt, or you could be dragged behind the horse.\\nDon't get into a pulling contest with a horse. The horse is much stronger than you and could easily pull you off your feet.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Feed treats from your flat palm.\", \"描述\": \"If the horse is very excited, put the food in a bucket instead. It may not be a good idea to feed the horse by hand regularly, as it may encourage nipping.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Handle a horse's legs carefully.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to examine the horse's hoof or leg, let the horse see what's happening and adjust to it. Put your hand on horse's shoulder or hindquarter, then move it slowly toward the leg. Squeeze the fetlock gently to get the horse to lift its foot, saying “up” at same time to teach this command. \\nWhile holding horse's leg or foot, do not kneel or sit. Squat instead so you can easily jump away.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Be cautious around multiple horses.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to other horses nearby, not just the one you're handling. Don't walk behind other horses, or stand too near their feet.\\nIn particular, avoid carrying food to the middle of a group of horses. They may crowd around and trap you in their excitement.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Trailer a horse safely\", \"描述\": \"Training a horse to enter a trailer for the first time can take weeks of patient communication, convincing the horse enter on its own first. Even when handling an experienced horse, make sure to tie or untie the horse with the trailer door closed. This prevents the horse from trying to exit before you are finished.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Riding a Horse\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ride with supervision when appropriate.\", \"描述\": \"Beginning riders should always ride with a more experienced rider, although they do not need to share a horse. Riding in company is also a good idea if you are practicing jumps.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Lunge an energetic horse before riding\", \"描述\": \"If a horse is acting wild or full of energy, have an experienced rider lunge (longe) the horse first.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Speak and behave calmly in the presence of horses. Horses work best with patient, quiet people. Never shout around the horse, as he may spook at the noise.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be on the alert at all times.\", \"描述\": \"Check your surroundings constantly for possible sources of fear. This may include running children, an approaching car, or even a plastic bag blowing in the wind. If the horse's eyes widen and its ears point straight up, it may be scared. If this happens, calmly talk to the horse and try to move somewhere the horse can calm down.\\nDesensitize the horse in a familiar setting if it is easily scared.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be cautious when introducing unfamiliar horses.\", \"描述\": \"Horses are not always friendly when they meet for the first time. Touching their noses together can cause them to bite or strike.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Let the horse walk over difficult terrain.\", \"描述\": \"Let the horse pick the pace when traveling over slippery ground, including ice, snow, and mud. When riding up or down a steep hill, keep the horse to a walking pace, even if it wants to go faster.\\nSticking to a walk is also a good idea at night or during low-visibility weather.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stay back from other horses.\", \"描述\": \"When near other riders, either ride abreast or stay far enough apart to avoid kicks. When looking between your horse's ears, you should be able to see the hind hooves of the horse in front of you. That said, when riding with a group, don't allow a horse to lag so far behind it has to gallop to catch up.\\nA red ribbon on the tail is a sign of a kicker in some areas. Stay well back from these horses.\\nWhen at the front of a group, shout back to inform other riders of possible dangers. These include broken glass, poor footing, and branches at head height.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Learn how to handle a runaway horse.\", \"描述\": \"Losing control of your horse can be a dangerous occurrence, especially if you don't know what to do. In most cases, the safest course of action is to stay on the horse and let it run until it calms down or tires out. Pulling back on the reins can limit the horse's vision and cause it to lose its footing.\\nIf you practice with the horse beforehand, you can train it to step to one side, slowing it down. Without this training, pulling back on one rein may just limit the horse's vision and balance, or cause it to turn without slowing down.\\nDo not jump off the horse unless it is headed to a road, cliff, or branches too low for you to safely pass under.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Handle the horse safely after riding.\", \"描述\": \"Since both you and the horse are a little more tired after a ride, it's helpful to follow a post-ride checklist to make sure everything gets done. Try this one:\\nSlow to a walk before approaching the stable.\\nAfter dismounting, tie the horse with a quick release knot.\\nGive the horse a wash and groom.\\nLead the horse back to the pasture or stall. Teach him early on to not rush off, but to stand calmly beside you with the halter on.\\nRemove the halter. Pat and praise the horse for calm behavior. He should be able to remain standing by your side until you turn to leave.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Learn how to tie a horse safely without having access to ties. Sometimes you may need to know how to do this when out riding and you need to stop somewhere. Don't tie your horse to anything he can move, such as hollow items, fence boards, or door handles.\\n\", \"If you're showing horses, you have a range of additional safety issues to consider, such as adjusting to new stalls and being around large, noisy crowds. Talk to experienced show-goers for advice.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be especially careful around rescued or formerly abused horses. They may have a dislike of humans and are often more dangerous than horses that have been handled the right way all their lives.\\n\", \"Never agree to be locked in a stable with a horse present.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
4,114 | How to Be Safe Around Stray Dogs | 1. Encountering an Unknown Dog
1-1. Differentiate between stray animals and lost pets.
If you happen upon a dog, you will most likely be able to tell whether the dog is a stray or a lost pet.
Stray dogs may not have had any positive human contact and are not socialized towards humans. They tend to be wary of humans and their fear can be triggered into aggression.
Pets that are lost are more likely to approach you and be comfortable around humans. They may be wearing a collar. They will probably be at a healthy weight, look cleaner, and appear as though they’ve been cared for.
Your interactions with stray dogs and pets may be very different. However, just because a dog is a stray does not mean it is automatically aggressive or a safety threat to you.
Dogs, stray or pet, that appear injured may come to you for help or they may be even more reluctant to approach you. It depends on the dog and its level of human socialization.
1-2. Assess the situation.
You will need to take stock of the situation to decide how you will proceed.
If you are with your pet, it is best to keep the two dogs separate and away from each other. Keep the widest distance between the two that you can, even if the other dog appears friendly. If the dog is friendly, you can return to the area that you found it after you’ve secured your dog at home or with someone else.
If you have small children with you, keep them far away from the dog even if it appears friendly.
If you see a dog approaching traffic, you must consider the safety of yourself and other drivers. The dog may run into the road, but you cannot run into the road to follow it. This is a major safety concern in which you must keep yourself safe.
Do not corner the dog in a small or confined area. This can frighten and agitate the dog and make it act erratically.
1-3. Stay calm.
Staying calm is one of the most important things you can do in this situation.
Dogs are aware of others’ fear, which may agitate them or make them afraid.
Your concern should be your safety, the safety of the dog, and the safety of any others around you.
1-4. Walk away and don’t run.
This is true for any situation with an unknown dog. A dog’s instinct is to chase anything that is running from them. This is not necessarily an aggressive act, but can lead to confrontation.
If you plan to return to the area that you found the dog, you should speak in a soft and kind tone and back away from the dog.
If the dog is aggressive, try to avoid any confrontation with the dog by backing away slowly.
2. Staying Safe Around an Aggressive Stray Dog
2-1. Send calming signals.
When you signal to the dog that you are not a threat to their safety, they are more likely to stay calm and peaceful. Some calming signals that you can use are:
Avoiding eye contact
Standing sideways to the dog
Letting them approach and sniff you (do not raise your hand in a sudden movement — this may frighten the dog and they may bite)
Yawning
Licking your lips
2-2. Avoid acting dominant.
Aggressive behaviors may signal a threat to the dog, making them feel hostile or agitated. Aggressive behaviors to avoid include:
Staring at the dog
Making sudden movements
Walking or running towards them
Yelling or making loud noises.
2-3. Avoid confrontation with large packs of dogs.
A dog’s confidence is found in numbers. When a dog is in a pack, their confidence increases and they can pose a greater safety risk.
You should not attempt to interact with a pack of dogs that you think are stray. It is best to call animal control and let them take care of the situation.
2-4. Assess the dog's body language.
Dogs use body language to communicate that they are agitated, afraid, angry, or intimidated.
Dogs that freeze when you approach them, curl their lips to show their teeth, or stand with their head low looking at you are agitated and can be aggressive.
Do not approach a dog that is caring for puppies. Their maternal instinct to protect the puppies may make them less willing to interact with you.
Dogs can show their aggression by snapping, growling, barking, lunging, and snarling. Avoid dogs that display these behaviors.
If a dog displays aggressive behaviors, try to stay motionless and avoid direct eye contact with the dog. Stay quiet and resist the urge to run and yell.
2-5. Protect yourself during an attack.
If you have done everything that you can to avoid an attack, but the attack seems imminent, your focus should shift to protecting yourself.
Use an object like your bag, a stick, or a shirt wrapped around your arm to fend off the attack.
Do not try to hit the dog. The dog will probably dodge the attack and be able to move closer in range to you.
Use your forearm to shield your face, head, and neck at all costs.
If you are knocked to the ground, curl up and use your hands to protect your neck with your face towards the ground.
You can purchase pepper spray that is specifically designed to deter dogs, though unless you walk through the area with the pepper spray out, you will be unlikely to use it during a sudden attack.
Do not run away, as the dog will most likely attempt to chase you.
2-6. Leave the area.
If you are able to avoid an attack and back away from the situation, you should leave the area immediately.
If you have been attacked, you need to go to the hospital immediately. Let the emergency room know that you have been bitten by a dog and they will administer a rabies vaccine and treat your wound.
Even if your injuries are minor and easily treated, you still see your doctor so they can determine if you need a rabies shot.
Call animal control and let them known that you encountered a potentially dangerous stray dog. Be sure to tell them the location you found the dog, what the dog looked like, and how the dog was acting. They will determine the best course of action to get the dog out of the area and into a safe environment.
In rural areas that do not have a local animal control, you can call the non-emergency telephone number for the police.
3. Helping a Lost Pet
3-1. Take the dog with you.
If you realize that the dog is approachable and friendly, you can try to entice them to go with you. A treat or friendly commands can be helpful to convince the dog to follow you.
Do not corner the dog. This will make them feel trapped and even friendly animals can act erratically when they feel trapped in an area.
The dog may follow you willingly. If it has a collar on, you can attempt to use a leash to lead the dog.
Decide where to take the dog. Once you’ve convinced the dog to follow you, you have a few options.
3-2. Take the dog to a shelter.
A shelter is well equipped to treat any medical issues the dog may have and can house the dog.
The dog may have an embedded microchip that has the owner's contact information on it. The shelter should have a reader to check for a microchip.
Ask the shelter if anyone has reported their dog lost. Many shelters will take a picture of the dog and keep your contact information in the case that an owner comes looking for the dog.
The shelter may release the dog into your care if you decide to take it home with you.
3-3. Take the dog home.
If you feel comfortable and are able to take care of the animal, taking the dog home with you while you attempt to locate its owner.
If you have other dogs, be sure to introduce the new dog in a safe and relaxed environment.
Make posters with a picture of the dog and your contact information.
Your area may have a local pet rescue that can find a home for the dog.
Reach out to local veterinarians. They may be able to post flyers letting their patients know about the lost dog.
3-4. Leave food for the dog.
If you are unable to take the dog with you, you can leave food and water near where you first saw the dog. This is a good way to encourage the dog to be more trusting around humans.
Tips
If the dog runs away from you, do not follow or chase it. Call animal control and let them know that you have seen a dog in the area.
If you decide to give a friendly lost pet or stray a treat, keep your hand flat and below their head. This will help make sure that the dog does not accidentally nip at your hand.
Warnings
Your safety is the utmost concern. If your safety is in question, deescalate the situation by leaving the area.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:51:46",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Encountering an Unknown Dog\\n1-1. Differentiate between stray animals and lost pets.\\nIf you happen upon a dog, you will most likely be able to tell whether the dog is a stray or a lost pet.\\nStray dogs may not have had any positive human contact and are not socialized towards humans. They tend to be wary of humans and their fear can be triggered into aggression.\\nPets that are lost are more likely to approach you and be comfortable around humans. They may be wearing a collar. They will probably be at a healthy weight, look cleaner, and appear as though they’ve been cared for.\\nYour interactions with stray dogs and pets may be very different. However, just because a dog is a stray does not mean it is automatically aggressive or a safety threat to you.\\nDogs, stray or pet, that appear injured may come to you for help or they may be even more reluctant to approach you. It depends on the dog and its level of human socialization.\\n1-2. Assess the situation.\\nYou will need to take stock of the situation to decide how you will proceed.\\nIf you are with your pet, it is best to keep the two dogs separate and away from each other. Keep the widest distance between the two that you can, even if the other dog appears friendly. If the dog is friendly, you can return to the area that you found it after you’ve secured your dog at home or with someone else.\\nIf you have small children with you, keep them far away from the dog even if it appears friendly.\\nIf you see a dog approaching traffic, you must consider the safety of yourself and other drivers. The dog may run into the road, but you cannot run into the road to follow it. This is a major safety concern in which you must keep yourself safe.\\nDo not corner the dog in a small or confined area. This can frighten and agitate the dog and make it act erratically.\\n1-3. Stay calm.\\nStaying calm is one of the most important things you can do in this situation.\\nDogs are aware of others’ fear, which may agitate them or make them afraid.\\nYour concern should be your safety, the safety of the dog, and the safety of any others around you.\\n1-4. Walk away and don’t run.\\nThis is true for any situation with an unknown dog. A dog’s instinct is to chase anything that is running from them. This is not necessarily an aggressive act, but can lead to confrontation.\\nIf you plan to return to the area that you found the dog, you should speak in a soft and kind tone and back away from the dog.\\nIf the dog is aggressive, try to avoid any confrontation with the dog by backing away slowly.\\n2. Staying Safe Around an Aggressive Stray Dog\\n2-1. Send calming signals.\\nWhen you signal to the dog that you are not a threat to their safety, they are more likely to stay calm and peaceful. Some calming signals that you can use are:\\nAvoiding eye contact\\nStanding sideways to the dog\\nLetting them approach and sniff you (do not raise your hand in a sudden movement — this may frighten the dog and they may bite)\\nYawning\\nLicking your lips\\n2-2. Avoid acting dominant.\\nAggressive behaviors may signal a threat to the dog, making them feel hostile or agitated. Aggressive behaviors to avoid include:\\nStaring at the dog\\nMaking sudden movements\\nWalking or running towards them\\nYelling or making loud noises.\\n2-3. Avoid confrontation with large packs of dogs.\\nA dog’s confidence is found in numbers. When a dog is in a pack, their confidence increases and they can pose a greater safety risk.\\nYou should not attempt to interact with a pack of dogs that you think are stray. It is best to call animal control and let them take care of the situation.\\n2-4. Assess the dog's body language.\\nDogs use body language to communicate that they are agitated, afraid, angry, or intimidated.\\nDogs that freeze when you approach them, curl their lips to show their teeth, or stand with their head low looking at you are agitated and can be aggressive. \\nDo not approach a dog that is caring for puppies. Their maternal instinct to protect the puppies may make them less willing to interact with you.\\nDogs can show their aggression by snapping, growling, barking, lunging, and snarling. Avoid dogs that display these behaviors.\\nIf a dog displays aggressive behaviors, try to stay motionless and avoid direct eye contact with the dog. Stay quiet and resist the urge to run and yell.\\n2-5. Protect yourself during an attack.\\nIf you have done everything that you can to avoid an attack, but the attack seems imminent, your focus should shift to protecting yourself.\\nUse an object like your bag, a stick, or a shirt wrapped around your arm to fend off the attack. \\nDo not try to hit the dog. The dog will probably dodge the attack and be able to move closer in range to you.\\nUse your forearm to shield your face, head, and neck at all costs.\\nIf you are knocked to the ground, curl up and use your hands to protect your neck with your face towards the ground.\\nYou can purchase pepper spray that is specifically designed to deter dogs, though unless you walk through the area with the pepper spray out, you will be unlikely to use it during a sudden attack.\\nDo not run away, as the dog will most likely attempt to chase you.\\n2-6. Leave the area.\\nIf you are able to avoid an attack and back away from the situation, you should leave the area immediately.\\nIf you have been attacked, you need to go to the hospital immediately. Let the emergency room know that you have been bitten by a dog and they will administer a rabies vaccine and treat your wound.\\nEven if your injuries are minor and easily treated, you still see your doctor so they can determine if you need a rabies shot.\\nCall animal control and let them known that you encountered a potentially dangerous stray dog. Be sure to tell them the location you found the dog, what the dog looked like, and how the dog was acting. They will determine the best course of action to get the dog out of the area and into a safe environment.\\nIn rural areas that do not have a local animal control, you can call the non-emergency telephone number for the police.\\n3. Helping a Lost Pet\\n3-1. Take the dog with you.\\nIf you realize that the dog is approachable and friendly, you can try to entice them to go with you. A treat or friendly commands can be helpful to convince the dog to follow you.\\nDo not corner the dog. This will make them feel trapped and even friendly animals can act erratically when they feel trapped in an area.\\nThe dog may follow you willingly. If it has a collar on, you can attempt to use a leash to lead the dog.\\nDecide where to take the dog. Once you’ve convinced the dog to follow you, you have a few options.\\n3-2. Take the dog to a shelter.\\nA shelter is well equipped to treat any medical issues the dog may have and can house the dog.\\nThe dog may have an embedded microchip that has the owner's contact information on it. The shelter should have a reader to check for a microchip.\\nAsk the shelter if anyone has reported their dog lost. Many shelters will take a picture of the dog and keep your contact information in the case that an owner comes looking for the dog.\\nThe shelter may release the dog into your care if you decide to take it home with you.\\n3-3. Take the dog home.\\nIf you feel comfortable and are able to take care of the animal, taking the dog home with you while you attempt to locate its owner.\\nIf you have other dogs, be sure to introduce the new dog in a safe and relaxed environment.\\nMake posters with a picture of the dog and your contact information.\\nYour area may have a local pet rescue that can find a home for the dog.\\nReach out to local veterinarians. They may be able to post flyers letting their patients know about the lost dog.\\n3-4. Leave food for the dog.\\nIf you are unable to take the dog with you, you can leave food and water near where you first saw the dog. This is a good way to encourage the dog to be more trusting around humans.\\nTips\\nIf the dog runs away from you, do not follow or chase it. Call animal control and let them know that you have seen a dog in the area.\\nIf you decide to give a friendly lost pet or stray a treat, keep your hand flat and below their head. This will help make sure that the dog does not accidentally nip at your hand.\\nWarnings\\nYour safety is the utmost concern. If your safety is in question, deescalate the situation by leaving the area.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There may come a time when you find an unfamiliar dog in your area. You notice that this dog is alone and you realize that it is either a stray or a lost pet. There are certain safety measures that you can take to keep yourself and the dog safe. If you are able to safely interact with the dog, you can take it to a shelter or find its owners.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Encountering an Unknown Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Differentiate between stray animals and lost pets.\", \"描述\": \"If you happen upon a dog, you will most likely be able to tell whether the dog is a stray or a lost pet.\\nStray dogs may not have had any positive human contact and are not socialized towards humans. They tend to be wary of humans and their fear can be triggered into aggression.\\nPets that are lost are more likely to approach you and be comfortable around humans. They may be wearing a collar. They will probably be at a healthy weight, look cleaner, and appear as though they’ve been cared for.\\nYour interactions with stray dogs and pets may be very different. However, just because a dog is a stray does not mean it is automatically aggressive or a safety threat to you.\\nDogs, stray or pet, that appear injured may come to you for help or they may be even more reluctant to approach you. It depends on the dog and its level of human socialization.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess the situation.\", \"描述\": \"You will need to take stock of the situation to decide how you will proceed.\\nIf you are with your pet, it is best to keep the two dogs separate and away from each other. Keep the widest distance between the two that you can, even if the other dog appears friendly. If the dog is friendly, you can return to the area that you found it after you’ve secured your dog at home or with someone else.\\nIf you have small children with you, keep them far away from the dog even if it appears friendly.\\nIf you see a dog approaching traffic, you must consider the safety of yourself and other drivers. The dog may run into the road, but you cannot run into the road to follow it. This is a major safety concern in which you must keep yourself safe.\\nDo not corner the dog in a small or confined area. This can frighten and agitate the dog and make it act erratically.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Staying calm is one of the most important things you can do in this situation.\\nDogs are aware of others’ fear, which may agitate them or make them afraid.\\nYour concern should be your safety, the safety of the dog, and the safety of any others around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Walk away and don’t run.\", \"描述\": \"This is true for any situation with an unknown dog. A dog’s instinct is to chase anything that is running from them. This is not necessarily an aggressive act, but can lead to confrontation.\\nIf you plan to return to the area that you found the dog, you should speak in a soft and kind tone and back away from the dog.\\nIf the dog is aggressive, try to avoid any confrontation with the dog by backing away slowly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Safe Around an Aggressive Stray Dog\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send calming signals.\", \"描述\": \"When you signal to the dog that you are not a threat to their safety, they are more likely to stay calm and peaceful. Some calming signals that you can use are:\\nAvoiding eye contact\\nStanding sideways to the dog\\nLetting them approach and sniff you (do not raise your hand in a sudden movement — this may frighten the dog and they may bite)\\nYawning\\nLicking your lips\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid acting dominant.\", \"描述\": \"Aggressive behaviors may signal a threat to the dog, making them feel hostile or agitated. Aggressive behaviors to avoid include:\\nStaring at the dog\\nMaking sudden movements\\nWalking or running towards them\\nYelling or making loud noises.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid confrontation with large packs of dogs.\", \"描述\": \"A dog’s confidence is found in numbers. When a dog is in a pack, their confidence increases and they can pose a greater safety risk.\\nYou should not attempt to interact with a pack of dogs that you think are stray. It is best to call animal control and let them take care of the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Assess the dog's body language.\", \"描述\": \"Dogs use body language to communicate that they are agitated, afraid, angry, or intimidated.\\nDogs that freeze when you approach them, curl their lips to show their teeth, or stand with their head low looking at you are agitated and can be aggressive. \\nDo not approach a dog that is caring for puppies. Their maternal instinct to protect the puppies may make them less willing to interact with you.\\nDogs can show their aggression by snapping, growling, barking, lunging, and snarling. Avoid dogs that display these behaviors.\\nIf a dog displays aggressive behaviors, try to stay motionless and avoid direct eye contact with the dog. Stay quiet and resist the urge to run and yell.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Protect yourself during an attack.\", \"描述\": \"If you have done everything that you can to avoid an attack, but the attack seems imminent, your focus should shift to protecting yourself.\\nUse an object like your bag, a stick, or a shirt wrapped around your arm to fend off the attack. \\nDo not try to hit the dog. The dog will probably dodge the attack and be able to move closer in range to you.\\nUse your forearm to shield your face, head, and neck at all costs.\\nIf you are knocked to the ground, curl up and use your hands to protect your neck with your face towards the ground.\\nYou can purchase pepper spray that is specifically designed to deter dogs, though unless you walk through the area with the pepper spray out, you will be unlikely to use it during a sudden attack.\\nDo not run away, as the dog will most likely attempt to chase you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Leave the area.\", \"描述\": \"If you are able to avoid an attack and back away from the situation, you should leave the area immediately.\\nIf you have been attacked, you need to go to the hospital immediately. Let the emergency room know that you have been bitten by a dog and they will administer a rabies vaccine and treat your wound.\\nEven if your injuries are minor and easily treated, you still see your doctor so they can determine if you need a rabies shot.\\nCall animal control and let them known that you encountered a potentially dangerous stray dog. Be sure to tell them the location you found the dog, what the dog looked like, and how the dog was acting. They will determine the best course of action to get the dog out of the area and into a safe environment.\\nIn rural areas that do not have a local animal control, you can call the non-emergency telephone number for the police.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Helping a Lost Pet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take the dog with you.\", \"描述\": \"If you realize that the dog is approachable and friendly, you can try to entice them to go with you. A treat or friendly commands can be helpful to convince the dog to follow you.\\nDo not corner the dog. This will make them feel trapped and even friendly animals can act erratically when they feel trapped in an area.\\nThe dog may follow you willingly. If it has a collar on, you can attempt to use a leash to lead the dog.\\nDecide where to take the dog. Once you’ve convinced the dog to follow you, you have a few options.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take the dog to a shelter.\", \"描述\": \"A shelter is well equipped to treat any medical issues the dog may have and can house the dog.\\nThe dog may have an embedded microchip that has the owner's contact information on it. The shelter should have a reader to check for a microchip.\\nAsk the shelter if anyone has reported their dog lost. Many shelters will take a picture of the dog and keep your contact information in the case that an owner comes looking for the dog.\\nThe shelter may release the dog into your care if you decide to take it home with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take the dog home.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel comfortable and are able to take care of the animal, taking the dog home with you while you attempt to locate its owner.\\nIf you have other dogs, be sure to introduce the new dog in a safe and relaxed environment.\\nMake posters with a picture of the dog and your contact information.\\nYour area may have a local pet rescue that can find a home for the dog.\\nReach out to local veterinarians. They may be able to post flyers letting their patients know about the lost dog.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Leave food for the dog.\", \"描述\": \"If you are unable to take the dog with you, you can leave food and water near where you first saw the dog. This is a good way to encourage the dog to be more trusting around humans.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If the dog runs away from you, do not follow or chase it. Call animal control and let them know that you have seen a dog in the area.\\n\", \"If you decide to give a friendly lost pet or stray a treat, keep your hand flat and below their head. This will help make sure that the dog does not accidentally nip at your hand.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Your safety is the utmost concern. If your safety is in question, deescalate the situation by leaving the area.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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